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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Pessimist, by Robert Timsol
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: A Pessimist
+       In Theory and Practice
+
+Author: Robert Timsol
+
+Release Date: October 9, 2008 [EBook #26847]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A PESSIMIST ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Colin Bell, Brett Fishburne and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+A PESSIMIST;
+
+IN
+
+THEORY AND PRACTICE.
+
+BY
+
+ROBERT TIMSOL.
+
+
+NEW YORK:
+
+JOHN B. ALDEN, PUBLISHER.
+
+1888.
+
+
+Copyright, 1888,
+
+BY
+
+THE PROVIDENT BOOK COMPANY.
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+
+I. Wisdom in the Woods.                  7
+
+II. Worse Yet.                          17
+
+III. Complications.                     24
+
+IV. A Wilful Princess.                  28
+
+V. Consultation.                        37
+
+VI. Preparation.                        44
+
+VII. Initiation.                        47
+
+VIII. Introduction.                     52
+
+IX. At Newport.                         55
+
+X. On the Cliffs.                       58
+
+XI. Explanations.                       63
+
+XII. Awakening.                         71
+
+XIII. Domestic Criticisms.              75
+
+XIV. Over two Cigars.                   79
+
+XV. The Catastrophe.                    83
+
+XVI. Feminine Councils.                 87
+
+XVII. Consolation.                      91
+
+XVIII. Against Earnestness.             99
+
+XIX. Conspiracy.                       102
+
+XX. Apology for Lying.                 108
+
+XXI. Jane to the Rescue.               118
+
+XXII. An Ordeal.                       125
+
+XXIII. Plan of Campaign.               132
+
+XXIV. To Wayback again.                139
+
+XXV. A Wild Brook.                     145
+
+XXVI. An Intractable Patient.          149
+
+XXVII. Scenery Improved.               156
+
+XXVIII. Diplomacy.                     159
+
+XXIX. Submission.                      168
+
+XXX. Wasted Advice.                    175
+
+XXXI. Results Reported.                178
+
+XXXII. Confession.                     185
+
+XXXIII. A Family Conclave.             192
+
+XXXIV. To Persons About to Marry.      197
+
+
+
+
+A PESSIMIST.
+
+
+
+
+I.
+
+WISDOM IN THE WOODS.
+
+
+I had seen and heard little of Hartman since our college days. There he
+was counted a youth of eminent promise: after that I knew that he had
+traveled, written something or other, and practised law--or professed
+it, and not too eagerly: then he had disappeared. Last May I stumbled on
+him in a secluded region where I had gone to fish and rest, after a year
+of too close attention to business. We came face to face in the woods,
+stared at each other, and then our hands met in the old grip. He took me
+home with him, to a comfortable enough bachelor establishment, and we
+made a night--or more than an evening--of it. He did not seem curious,
+but I was.
+
+"What have you been doing with yourself!" I began; "withdrawing from the
+world?"
+
+"To some extent," he said. "You can't do that entirely, you know. The
+world is in you as well as around you, unluckily. It is too much with
+us, as the poet observed. Do you remember the time you had in class over
+that sonnet?"
+
+"Pass that," I said. "I've given up poetry." ("I should have thought
+that impossible," he put in, in his nasty nagging fashion; but I took no
+notice.) "Where have you been all the time?"
+
+"Here, mostly. It's not much of a place, but that is its merit."
+
+He was getting too deep now, as he often did of old; so I said, "But
+it's so far away."
+
+"That's its other merit. You always had a direct and ingenuous mind,
+Bob. Here you've hit both bull's-eyes in two shots."
+
+"None of your chaff," said I. "Who do you practice your wits on, up
+here?"
+
+"My dogs. And there are some hens in the neighborhood, and a few small
+farmers. Or if my bosom cries too loudly to be eased of its perilous
+stuff, I can chaff myself, which is more profitable."
+
+"You were always too clever for me. What else do you do?"
+
+"As the Baroness used to say in _The Danicheffs_, in our days of vanity,
+'Do you think that is much of a compliment?' I read, and fish, and
+climb, and ride several hobbies, and meditate on Man, on Nature, and on
+Human Fate."
+
+"What's the good of that?" I was growing impatient of all this nonsense.
+
+"Well, not much, perhaps," said he. "For you, very little indeed. But
+intrinsically it is about as profitable as more popular avocations."
+
+"Now look here, Hartman," I said. "You're a better man any day than
+I--or you were. But here you are, hidden in the backwoods with owls (one
+of them was making a horrid noise outside), and nothing to show. Now
+I've got a wife--"
+
+"And seven children," he interposed.
+
+"No, only three. But I have a good business, and a house on the avenue,
+and a decent social position, and I'm making money. And I don't like to
+see you throw yourself away like this."
+
+"Old man," said Hartman, "we are just of an age, and you would pass for
+five years the elder. Your hair is getting gray, and thin on top. You
+look fagged. And you owned to me that you came here to pick up."
+
+He had me there a little. "Yes, I've been working hard. But I'm in the
+swim. I do as others do. I help to make the wheels go round." I thought
+I had him there; but you never can count on Hartman, except for an
+answer of some kind.
+
+"Wouldn't they go round without your help? And why should they go
+around, anyway? It might be a variety to have them stop. What's the good
+of it?"
+
+I stared at him; but his eye looked more rational than his talk sounded.
+"The good of it is that I am in things generally, while you are out."
+
+"Exactly so. I am out, while you are in. As to things generally, I
+prefer to be with the outs. It is a matter of taste, no doubt."
+
+"Well, you are beyond me. But I brought myself in merely as an
+example--not that I set up to be much of that--or an illustration, say.
+I want to know about you." It may have been foolish, but somehow I felt
+the old affection coming back as we talked. "What does it all mean,
+Harty?"
+
+He looked at me. "Do you really want to know, Bob?"
+
+"Of course I do. Do you suppose I've forgotten the larks we used to
+have, and the scrapes you got me out of, and how you coached me through
+that exam, in Calculus? It's long ago, Jim; but I took it rather hard,
+the way you dropped me."
+
+He began to look as he used to: he wasn't a selfish fellow in those
+days. "I never meant to be hard on you, Bob, nor supposed you'd take it
+so: and I doubt if you did, though you think so at this moment. It was
+part of a system; and systems are poor things, though we can't do
+without them. I'll tell you how it was."
+
+"Wait till I fill up.--Now go ahead."
+
+"You don't smoke as you used to, Bob. Does the Madam object?"
+
+"She doesn't like tobacco about the house, of course. And I'm not sure
+it's good for me."
+
+"Ah. Sorry to be leading you astray. There is no one to interfere with
+my little vices. Well, Bob, I got tired of it. Not that that alone would
+matter: one could stand being bored in a good cause. But I couldn't see
+that it was a good cause."
+
+"Would you mind explaining?" said I. "What cause?"
+
+"Helping to make the wheels go round. Being in the swim. Doing as others
+do. Trying to make a little money and a little name, and following the
+fashions of a carnal-minded generation. I could see no point to it, Bob;
+the game never seemed worth the candle."
+
+"And so you came out in the woods, like what's his name--that Concord
+fellow. Do you find this any better?"
+
+"Negatively. I am not so much a part of the things I despise. The pomps
+and vanities are conspicuous chiefly by their absence. It is a simpler
+life, comparatively laudable for there being less of it."
+
+"And don't you get bored, out here? A week or so of it is well enough in
+a way; but take it the year round, I should think you'd find it worse
+than civilization."
+
+"I get bored, of course: that is incidental to life, and chronic with
+one who has looked beneath the surface and sifted values. But it's not
+so oppressive as in town. There are no shams here, to speak of. Having
+no business and no society, we don't pretend to be very different from
+what we are."
+
+"O, if you come to that, the women still improve on nature, and the
+street has its little tricks and methods; but you could keep out of
+them. You were in the law."
+
+"It's all the same, Bob. The law now is worked much more as a business
+than as a science. Look at Jones, and Brown, and Jenkins: they are
+getting on, I hear. I don't want to get on in that way."
+
+"But you might have taken the scientific side of it. With your head
+piece, and your high and mighty notions, there was a field for you."
+
+"So is theology a field, or physic, or Greek roots, or chiropody--for
+him, who believes in them. I was not able to see that one line of
+thought has a right to crowd out all the rest, or to sink my whole soul
+in a profession. That's what they want of you now--to make a little
+clearing, and put up palings all round it, and see things outside only
+through the chinks of your blessed fence. Be a narrow specialist: know
+one thing, and care for nothing else. I suppose you can do that with
+oil."
+
+I thought there was some uncalled-for bitterness in this; but the poor
+fellow can't be contented, with his lonesome and aimless life. "We're
+not talking about me, Jim. You're the topic. Stick to your text, and
+preach away: my soul is not so immersed in oil that I can't listen. But
+I don't blame you for going back on the law; a beast of a business, I
+always thought it. Why didn't you go for a Professorship?"
+
+"My poor friend, you were at college four years, and graduated--without
+honors, it is true. Don't you remember how little we cared for the
+Profs. and their eminent attainments? We took it for granted that it was
+all right, and they understood what they were at; but it was a grind, to
+them and to us. If a man was an enthusiast for his branch, we rather
+laughed at him; or if his name was well up, we were willing to be proud
+of him--at a distance--as an honor to Alma Mater; but we kicked all the
+same, if he tried to put extra work on us. It was all fashion, routine,
+tradition. The student mind doesn't begin to look into things for itself
+till about the senior year, and then it's full of what lies ahead, in
+the great world outside--poor innocents! With those of us who had
+anything in us, it took most of the time to knock the nonsense
+out.--And then if a man wants a chair, he must take it in a western
+concern, where he'll be expected to lead in prayer-meeting, and to have
+no views of geology that conflict with the Catechism."
+
+"Well then, why not go on with literature? That was in your line: you
+might have made a good thing of it."
+
+"Yes, by 'unremitting application,' much the same as at law, and taking
+it seriously as a profession, I might in time possibly have made five
+hundred a year off the magazines, and won an humble place among our
+seven hundred rising authors. What's the good of that, when one is not a
+transcendent genius, destined for posterity? The crowd seems to be
+thickest just there: too many books, too many writers, and by far too
+many anxious aspirants. Why should I swell the number? The community was
+not especially pining to hear what I might have to say; and I did not
+pine so much as some to be heard."
+
+"I fear you lacked ambition, Harty. You would have made a pretty good
+preacher; but I suppose you weren't sanctified enough."
+
+"Thanks: scarcely. I prefer to retain some vestiges of self-respect.
+That will do for the youths on the beneficiary list, who are taken in
+and done for from infancy, to whom it is an object to get a free
+education and into a gentlemanly profession. That's the kind they mostly
+make parsons of now, I hear. My boy, to do anything really in that line,
+a man ought to have notions different from mine--rather. Why don't you
+advise me to set up a kindergarten? That would suit as well as
+chronicling ecclesiastical small beer. Cudgel your brains, and start
+something more plausible."
+
+This did not surprise me at all; but my suggestion-box was getting low.
+Then I made a rally. "How about the philanthropic dodge? Robinson is on
+the Associated Charities in town. I saw in the paper that he made a
+speech the other night."
+
+"If he does nothing better than speech-making, he might as well drop it.
+There might be something in benevolent efforts, if one had just the
+temperament and talents for them. But as it is, I fear most of it is
+humbug; mutual admiration, seeing your name in the paper, and all that.
+And how they get imposed on! How they pauperize and debauch those they
+try to raise! It's a law of nature, Bob, that every tub must stand on
+its own bottom: you can't reform a man from without. Natural selection
+will have its way: the shiftless and the lazy must go to the wall. If
+you could kill them off, now, that might do some good. The class that
+needs help is not like us--not that we are anything to brag of: they've
+not had our chance. It's very well to say, give 'em a chance; but that's
+no use unless they take it, which they won't. 'Who would be free,
+themselves must strike the blow.' If they wouldn't, you are bound to
+respect their right of choice. Your drunken ruffian will keep on
+breaking the furniture, till another like him breaks his skull. His
+wife, the washerwoman with six small children, will continue getting
+more and making things worse. This part of it at least ought to be
+regulated by law: but that would be a restriction of personal liberty,
+which is the idol of this age, and not without reason. We're between two
+millstones, and I see no way out."
+
+"How would you like politics? The gentleman is supposed to have an
+opening there now."
+
+"A doubtful and difficult one. If it had come in my time I might have
+tried it. But it would be uphill work, a sort of Sisyphus affair: you
+may get the stone to the top, but the chances are against it. And which
+party is one to join, when he sees nothing in either but selfish greed
+and stale traditions? Viewed as a missionary field, Bob, it's just like
+the ministry: you are weighed down with a lot of dead conventions which
+you must pretend to believe have life and juice in them yet. Before you
+can do anything you must be a partisan, and that requires a mediaeval
+state of mind. Mine, unluckily if you like, is modern. It wouldn't go,
+Bob. Try again, if you have more on your list."
+
+"Well, there's pure Science: you wouldn't care for the applied, I know.
+But you used to like beetles and things. Truth for Truth's sake is a
+fine motto, now?"
+
+"Yes, if they lived by it. There was Bumpus, old Chlorum's favorite
+student--in the laboratory, you remember. The old man died, and Bumpus
+stole all his discoveries, and published them as his own; made quite a
+pretty reputation, and is one of our leading chemists. You know how the
+books on Astronomy are made? A man finds out a thing or two for himself,
+cribs the rest from other books, changes the wording, and brings it all
+out with a blare of trumpets as original research. Those methods are
+approved, or at least tolerated, in the best scientific circles, and
+other folks don't know the difference. O, I belong to a few societies
+yet, and once in an age go to their meetings, when I get tired up here."
+
+"So the outside world still has charms, eh? Have to go back to it now
+and then, to keep alive, do you?"
+
+"Yes, when I need to be reconciled to solitude; much as you go to hear
+Ingersoll when your orthodoxy wants confirming, or Dr. Deadcreed if your
+liberalism is to be stirred up. Let us spice the insipid dish with some
+small variety. The lesser evil needs the greater for its foil."
+
+"Look here, Harty; this sounds like pure perverseness; opposition for
+its own sake, you know. I believe your money has been the ruin of you.
+It's not an original remark, but if you'd had nothing you'd have done
+something; gone into business like the rest of us, and made your way."
+
+"Of course, if I had been obliged to; but I should have loved it none
+the better. Poor Bayard Taylor said a man could serve God and mammon
+both, but only by hating the mammon which he served from sheer
+necessity. Say I got my living by a certain craft, would that make the
+craft noble? 'Great is Diana of the Ephesians,' because we sell her
+images! Why should I desire to supply the confiding public with shoes,
+or sugar, or sealing-wax? Plenty of others can do that better, and find
+it more amusing, than I should."
+
+"If it's amusement you're after, most men find it in Society. You're not
+too old for that yet."
+
+"Blind guide, I have been there. So long ago, you say, that I've
+forgotten what it's like? Not quite. Last winter I had to attend an
+execution: couldn't get out of it, you know. My cousin married a
+Washington belle, and I had to be there a week, and take it all in. Ah
+well, this is a threadbare theme; but I could understand how men fifteen
+hundred years ago fled from Alexandrian ball-rooms to Nitrian deserts.
+The emptiness of it--the eternal simper, the godless and harrowing
+routine! If a man has brains or a soul about him, what can he do with
+them in such a crowd? Better leave them at home with his pocket-book, or
+he might lose them--less suddenly, but more certainly, I fancy. No, the
+clubs are not much better; I don't care for horse-talk or the price of
+shares. See human nature? not in its best clothes--and you may read that
+remark either way you like. Why man, you can get all this in _Punch_ and
+the novels, with far less fatigue, and lay them down when you have had
+enough. An hour on Broadway sickens me for the wild-flowers, the
+brooks, the free breeze or the mountain side."
+
+He was getting violent now, and I thought I had better calm him down.
+"Oho! the rhyme and reason of a rural life, is it? Soothing effect of
+Nature on a world-worn bosom, and all that? So you do believe in
+something, after all?"
+
+"I told you it was but a choice of evils, and this is the less. Nature
+has neither heart nor conscience, and she sets us a bad example. She has
+no continuity, no reliableness, no self-control. I can see none of the
+fabled sublimity in a storm; only the pettishness of a spoiled child, or
+of an angry man bent on breaking things. The sunset is better to look
+at, but it has no more moral meaning than a peep-show. Yet this is a
+return to primitive conditions, in a way. I can throw off here the
+peddler's pack of artificialities that Vanity Fair imposes, and carry
+only the inevitable burden of manhood. The air is less poisonous to body
+and mind than in the cities. The groves were God's first temples, and
+may be the last."
+
+"See here, Hartman. Suppose people in general were to take up with these
+cheerful notions of yours, and go away from each other and out in the
+backwoods--what then?"
+
+"It might be the best thing they could do. But don't be alarmed, Bob: I
+am not a Nihilist agent. Preserve your faith in the Oil Exchange and the
+general order. I speak only for myself, and I'm not proselyting to any
+great extent. We'll have a week's fishing, and then I'll send you back
+to your wife in good shape. Or if you find yourself getting demoralized,
+you can skip earlier, either home or to a place further up that I'll
+tell you of, where the few inhabitants are as harmless as your youngest
+baby."
+
+But I was not to be bluffed off in this way. "Jim," I said, "there is
+something behind all this. Was it that girl you met at Newport and
+afterwards in Naples? You told me once--"
+
+"Never mind the girl," he said. "You are a married man, and I an old
+bachelor. Leave girls to those who have use for them. If we are to get
+any trout to-morrow, it's time we turned in. And if you won't stay, I'll
+go with you to the tavern and knock up old Hodge: he's been asleep these
+four hours." I thought he had talked enough for one night, so I said no
+more, but got back to bed.
+
+
+
+
+II.
+
+WORSE YET.
+
+
+Hartman had asked me to stay with him, but there is no use of
+overloading friendship, and I like to be my own master as well as he
+does. I might get tired of him, or he of me; and it's not well to be
+chained to your best friend for a solid week. Not that I am afraid of
+Hartman; he is not a lunatic, only a monomaniac; but I can cheer him up
+better when I have a good line of retreat open. He took me next morning
+to some superior pools, where the trout were fat and fierce; but I had
+not my usual skill. The truth is, Jim was on my mind; and after missing
+several big fish and taking a good deal of his chaff, I begged off--said
+I had letters to write--and so got to the tavern in time for dinner,
+which they have at the pagan hour of half-past eleven. Then I set to
+work thinking. I am not quite so dull as I may seem, but Hartman always
+had the ascendancy at college, and last night I fell into the old way of
+playing chorus to his high tragedy. This will not do, and I must assert
+myself. He was much the better student of course, but I have knocked
+about and seen more of the world than he has, shut up in these woods
+like a toad in a tree. He is too good a sort to go to seed with his
+confounded whimseys; so I determined to take a different tone with him.
+And I wrote to my wife about it: Mabel is a competent woman, and
+sometimes has very good ideas where mine fail--though of course I seldom
+let her see that. That evening I took him in hand.
+
+"Jim," I said, "I've been thinking--about you."
+
+"Ah," said he. "Large results may be expected from such unusual
+exertion. Impart them by all means."
+
+"James Hartman, you are lazy, and selfish, and unprincipled."
+
+"Yes?" said he, in an inquiring tone. "That is your thesis. Prove it."
+
+I went on. "A man should be doing something: you are doing nothing. A
+man should have a stake in the community. What have you got? Three dogs
+and an old cow. A man should be in connection and sympathy with the
+great tides of life. Here you are with nobody but yokels to talk to, and
+the pulse of the region about two to the minute."
+
+"Twin brother of my soul, companion of the palmy days of youth,
+methinks--as they say in the wild and wondrous West--you hit me where I
+live. But none of these things move me. I am lost in admiration of your
+oratory: really, Bob, I didn't think it was in you. But you said all
+this, in simpler language, last night."
+
+I saw I had overshot the mark: when he takes that tone, you are nowhere.
+"Jim," I said, "let's be serious. Begin where we left off, then. Granted
+that you don't care for making money, and the ends most of us are after.
+By character and fortune you are above the usual selfish motives. Still
+you are a man, a member of the community: you have duties to your
+fellows. Let the nobler motives come in. Do something to make the world
+happier, wiser, better. You have the power, if you had the will. Are not
+private talents a public trust? You used to berate the hogs of Epicurus'
+sty. It seems to me you've fallen back on mere self-indulgence. Your
+life here is a huge egoism. Cut loose from these withering notions:
+there is a better side to things than the one you see. Come back to the
+world, and be a man again."
+
+His eye was very bright now--not that it was ever dull--but I could not
+quite make out what it meant; perhaps mere curiosity. "Robert," he said,
+"I should believe that somebody had been coaching you, but there's no
+one in range who could do it except myself. It's not like you to have
+brought books along; and you've not had time to hear from home. What put
+you up to this?"
+
+"Hartman," I said, "look me in the eye and see whether I mean what I
+say. Go back with me next week. Make your home at my house till you can
+look round. I'll introduce you to some men who are not shams--and women,
+if you like. I know a few who have souls and consciences, though they do
+go to parties. I'll help you all I'm worth. You can make a new start.
+Something went wrong before. Better luck this time."
+
+"Bob," said he, "I'll take your word for it. Deeply touched by such
+unexpected and undeserved consideration--no, I won't chaff. You're not
+half a bad lot. But, my dear boy, you see the thing from your
+standpoint; mine is different. I'll try to explain. But what would you
+have me do?"
+
+"Whatever is best for you. Anything, so you get an object in life."
+
+"Do you remember what De Senancour says, in _Obermann_?"
+
+"Not I. Put it in your own English, please: no French morals in mine."
+
+"What is there to be done that is worth doing? It seems to me that
+everything is overdone. I go into a town, big or little: ten stores
+where one is needed. How do all these poor creatures live? Do you see
+anything noble in this petty struggle for existence? I can't. I serve my
+kind best by getting out of their way: that makes one less in the
+scramble."
+
+"I shouldn't expect you to sell tape or taffy, Jim. You could deal in a
+higher line of goods, and do it in your own way."
+
+"They don't want my goods, Bob, and I can't do it in my own way. I have
+tried--not much, but enough to see. There is no market for my wares: and
+I'm not sure they are worth marketing--or that any man's are. Truth as I
+see it is the last article to be in demand."
+
+"As you think you see it just now, very likely. Your eye is jaundiced,
+and sees all things yellow. Get well, and you can find a market. Fit
+your mind to the facts, and receive a true impression."
+
+"Exactly what I have done--so far as any impression is true. That's the
+point I've been waiting for you to come to. 'The Universe is change, and
+Life is opinion.' As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he; and as he
+thinks of things outside himself, so are they to him. One can do no more
+than use his eyes and brains, and then rule himself by what he sees. I
+have looked at matters more carefully and dispassionately than some do,
+and seen a little deeper into them: the prospect is not edifying, Bob. I
+am prejudiced, you say? No, I have cast aside prejudice. Most of you are
+misled by the love of life: you want to give a favorable account of your
+own belongings, and the wish is father to the thought: so you blink what
+is before you, and won't own the truth. Perhaps you are wise in your
+way: you gain such bliss as is in ignorance. Keep it if you can: I have
+no desire to disturb it."
+
+"Jim, mayn't there be a little conceit of superior wisdom here?"
+
+"Very possibly: as the lamented Bedott observed, we are all poor
+creatures. 'I do not speak as one that is exempt:' doubtless I have my
+full share of infirmity."
+
+"Then why not take the benefit of it, with the rest of us? There's a
+better as well as a worse side. Take things as they are, and make the
+best of them."
+
+"I do. The best is the least, and I get away from things as much as
+possible. To minimize life is to make the best of it."
+
+"Now you're at it again; begging the question, and dodging the
+argument--you'd say, summing it up, I suppose. I tell you, it's all
+mental, and your mind's diseased. You think you're injured by the scheme
+of things. Well, change your opinion, and the injury is gone. Didn't one
+of your old philosophers say something like that?"
+
+"He didn't give it quite the application you do, Bob. How can I change
+an opinion that is based accurately on facts? I don't make the facts: if
+I did, my opinion of myself would be yet worse than it is. I have a
+brain--such as it is--and a conscience: I can keep them clean and awake,
+even on Crusoe's island. Nothing better than that, my boy. 'What is the
+good of man? Rectitude of will, and to understand the appearances of
+things.'"
+
+"Well, Hartman, if you had two or three kids, as I have, you'd see
+things differently. They would give you an interest in life."
+
+"A tragically solemn one, no doubt. That responsibility at least can't
+be forced on a man. He can let his part of the curse die out with him."
+
+"Jim, you _are_ selfish. You were made to gladden some woman's eye and
+fill her heart. You were the strongest man of the nine, and the best oar
+in the crew. We all envied your looks, and there's more of them now.
+You could outshine all the gilded youth I know, and hold your own with
+the best. I remember a girl that thought so, a dozen years ago.
+Somewhere a woman is waiting for you to come and claim her. Why will you
+rob her and the world? This wilful waste is selfish wickedness, that's
+what it is."
+
+"Think so if you must: it's a free country. But you sugar the pill too
+much. Who misses me--or what if some few did for a while? They've
+forgotten me long ago. I tell you, I served society by deserting it."
+
+"It's all very well now, Jim, while your youth and strength last. But
+after you turn forty, or fifty say, these woods and whims will lose
+their charm; you'll get bored as you've never been yet. The emptiness
+and dreariness that you theorize about will become stern realities:
+you'll pine, when it's too late, for human affection and some hold on
+life. My lad, you are storing up for yourself a sad old age."
+
+I thought I had him at last. His surface lightness was all gone: he
+looked intent and solemn. "No doubt of it, Bob; not the least in life. I
+am human, and the worst is yet to come. But do you think me such a cad
+as to go back on my principles in search of so poor a shadow as
+happiness? Shall I, in base hope of easing my own burden, throw it on
+somebody else who but for me might go through existence lightly? Should
+I call sentient beings out of the blessed gulf of nothingness, that they
+may pay a duty to my weakness by and by, and curse me in their hearts?
+That would be somewhat too high a price to pay for broth when I am
+toothless, and the coddling comforts of one who has lived too long."
+
+I am not thin-skinned, but his tone shocked me. "Dear boy," I said,
+"they wouldn't look at it in that light. They would be your wife and your
+children."
+
+"Yes," he said, still savagely, "they would be my wife and
+children--supposing your unsupposable case. Grant that my notions are as
+false and monstrous as you think them: a pleasant lot for my wife,
+wouldn't it, to be in constant contact with them? And my children would
+have my blood in them--the taint of eccentricity, perhaps of madness: O,
+I've seen it in your eye. Others would think so too--most, no doubt. No,
+Bob; better let it die out with me."
+
+"Jim, you make me tired. I'll go back to the tavern." I was
+disappointed, and he saw it.
+
+"Don't make yourself wretched about me, old man. Let this thing go--you
+can't mend it. Follow your own doctrine, and take what you find. We have
+the May weather, good legs, and our tackle, and the brooks are full of
+trout. I kill nothing bigger than fish, but if you want a change I'll
+show you where you can have a chance for deer. And for the evenings,
+there are other topics besides ourselves--or rather myself. You can tell
+me about your children; they are likely to be healthier than mine would
+be. Good night, my boy: sound sleep, and no dreams of me."
+
+
+
+
+III.
+
+COMPLICATIONS.
+
+
+After that I found it best to do as Hartman had said. The sport was
+good, but I failed to enjoy it. I suppose I was a fool, for each of us
+makes or mars his own life, and it is no use moping over your neighbor's
+blunders; but I could not get that poor devil out of my mind. He talks
+as well on one subject as on another: it was I, not he, had brought him
+under discussion; but the evenings dragged. Then came a letter from
+home: the distance is considerable, and the mails slow. "Dear Robert,"
+my wife wrote, "I am glad to know you are so comfortable. Keep your
+flannels on, and change your clothing when you have been in the wet. The
+children are well: Herbert fell over the banisters yesterday, but
+fortunately without injury. Bring your friend Mr. H. back with you; he
+seems to be presentable, and evidently all he needs is a little cheering
+feminine society." [Hum: feminine society puts a higher estimate on its
+own powers than I do, then.] "Clarice has returned. You know how
+enterprising she is, not to say wilful, and how fond she is of you. She
+has taken a fancy to try your retreat, and learn to catch trout." [She
+has, eh? Well, let's get on with this.] "Jane will go with her, of
+course: they start on Thursday. Secure rooms for them, and have a
+vehicle to meet them."
+
+Here was a nice situation. To make Mabel easy about me, I had enlarged
+too much on the accommodations here; they are a long way from what she
+supposes. I called the landlord. "Hodge, here are two ladies coming from
+the city. Where can you put them?"
+
+"Wall, I d'no, Square. Ain't much used to city gals. Hope they don't
+bring no sarrytogys. There ain't nothin but your room, an mine, an old
+Poll's, and the gerrit. Me and you might go out in the hayloft like, or
+sleep on the pyazzer if the nights is warm."
+
+While he was maundering on, the whole truth flashed upon me. Why can't
+I see things at once, like Hartman? If I had his sharpness, and he my
+slow common sense, there would be two men fit for this world's
+uses--which neither of us appears to be, as the case stands. I had
+rashly said too much about Jim and his attractions. Mabel is a born
+manager and matchmaker--can't endure to see an eligible man uncaught.
+She has put the girls up to this game: 'cheering feminine society,'
+indeed! My sister Jane is a sensible woman enough, and not much younger
+than I; but Clarice is a beauty with six years' experience, and
+irresistible, some think. 'Enterprising'--well, I should say so: cheeky,
+you might call it. Women do take such stunning liberties nowadays. My
+wife would reprove me for slang; but weaker words fail to express the
+fact, and my feelings about it. I might stand these girls coming up here
+after me--Clarice is a sort of eighth cousin of Mabel's and looks on me
+as a brother. But Jim--no. She must be pining for more worlds to
+conquer, and it would just suit her book to bring a romantic hermit to
+her feet. I should like well enough to see her try it, when I was not
+responsible, but not under present circumstances. Great Caesar! Jim will
+think I have put up this job on him, and never forgive me: nor would I,
+in his place. This field is getting too thick with missionaries.--"Hodge,
+it won't do. Harness your old nag, and drive me to the station. I must
+telegraph. And while I'm there, I may as well put for home. We can catch
+the night train if you hurry."
+
+"Wall, Square, I don't cotton to suddint changes: like to move when I
+git a good ready. Ye put a man off his base, Darn--."
+
+I checked his incipient profanity. "My friend, whether you like it or
+not is in this case immaterial. I'll pay you for the time I meant to
+stay, and all you like for the fifteen miles. But be quick, now."
+
+While he was hunting strings for his broken buckboard, I threw my traps
+together, and scratched a line to Jim: called home by sudden press of
+business, I said--and so it was, in a way. It is a long ride, but I had
+enough to think of. At the depot I wired, "Hold the girls. I am coming
+back." As I straightened up from this exercise, there was the old sinner
+grinning malignantly over my shoulder. "Hodge," I said, "not a word
+about the ladies to Mr. Hartman, mind," and I gave him an extra dollar.
+This was another mistake, I suppose.
+
+"Never you mind, Square: tain't me as goes back on my friends." What
+could the old fool be thinking of? I would have given him some more
+cautions, but the train came, and I was off.
+
+You may imagine the reception at home. I tried to take a high hand, but
+what can a man do against three women? "I really think, Robert," said
+Mabel, "that since the girls had set their hearts on this excursion, you
+might have indulged them." "The conceit of men!" cried Clarice; "what
+had our coming to do with Mr. Hartman? Is he lord of the manor, that no
+one may trespass on his demesne?" Jane too turned on me. "It was not
+very kind of you, brother, to prefer a mere acquaintance above your own
+sister, and suspect her motives in order to save his peace, forsooth!" I
+knew it was humbug; but I had to eat no end of humble pie, all the same.
+You may believe me or not--if you are a family man you will, without
+difficulty--but I had to get those women apart, and explain things to
+them one at a time, before I could have peace in the house. My own flesh
+and blood were soon mollified; but Clarice has not forgiven me yet. I
+have been on my knees to her, so to speak--most men do it, and she
+expects it--but it is of no use. "My dear Clarice," said I, "you know I
+would do anything in the world for you." "Yes," said she contemptuously,
+"I've just had experience of it." "But you don't know Hartman." "Then
+why couldn't you let me know him?" "But it wouldn't have done, under
+these circumstances. He--I--." "Unhappy man," she said, with her tragedy
+queen air, "is it possible you imagined that you were a better judge of
+the proprieties than I?" And that's the way it goes. I am coming to
+believe Hartman was right about the fate of philanthropic efforts, at
+least.
+
+In the midst of all this came a note from Jim himself. "Dear Bob, I
+enclose something which Hodge says you left behind." [O thrice-accursed
+idiot, did I leave Mabel's letter lying around loose?] "Of course I have
+not looked into it, but I fear he has." [You may bet on that: the only
+chance was that he could not read her fine Italian hand.] "He says one
+of your children fell down stairs: I trust the results were not serious.
+Sorry you left in such haste, and hindered the ladies from coming.
+Hodge's quarters are not palatial, but you could bunk with me, as I at
+first proposed; and since they were willing to rough it, we would have
+managed somehow. You could surely rely on my humble aid toward making
+their sojourn in the wilderness endurable. And _per contra_, a little
+cheering feminine society might have assisted your benevolent efforts
+toward my reclamation. Was it not selfish to leave me thus unconsoled
+and unconverted?"
+
+Well, the business is done now, with neatness and dispatch. That beast
+Hodge has told Jim all he knew or suspected, even to that fatal phrase
+of my wife's: so there's an end of his faith in me, and of any chance I
+might have had to set him straight. That was a fortnight ago, and I have
+not the face to answer him. When I have any more doctrinaire anchorites
+to convert, I shall not call a family council. But alas, poor Hartman!
+
+
+
+
+IV.
+
+A WILFUL PRINCESS.
+
+
+I was wrong about Hartman after all. He has written me again, and this
+is what he says:
+
+"Do you want to confirm the heretical opinions you argued against so
+manfully? You had revived my faith in friendship, Bob: I believed, and
+would like still to believe, that one man can be true and kind to
+another. And perhaps in general you had stirred and shaken me up more
+than you knew. Socrates outranks Pyrrho, and I am open to conviction.
+Possibly I have been too sweeping; I don't wish to dogmatize. It may be
+that I have lived alone too long, shut up in a narrow space, where light
+could enter only through my perversely colored glasses. At any rate,
+your coming was like opening a door and letting in a wholesome breeze.
+Have I offended you? I thought I was past asking favors from my kind:
+but do let me hear from you."
+
+Of course I had to answer that, and worse, to show it to the girls. Some
+men, now, would keep it to themselves, and preserve their dignity; but
+such is not my style. Let them crow over me if they must.
+
+They did. "Well, Robert," said Mabel, "you see now how absurdly mistaken
+you were. Perhaps hereafter you will allow us to manage our own affairs,
+and not complicate them with your bungling masculine attempts at
+superior wisdom." "I am glad to know, brother," said Jane, "that your
+friend is a gentleman, incapable of the base suspicions you would have
+attributed to him. You did your best to prevent our knowing him and
+carrying out your ideas for his improvement: now we shall be able to
+meet him cordially, and try to cheer him a little. But probably he is
+not at all as dark as you have painted him."
+
+Clarice would say nothing: she was in one of her high and mighty moods.
+Her soul is like a star, and sits up aloft; sometimes it twinkles, but
+more generally it does not. I often want to tell her that she is a
+creature too bright and good to come to breakfast like other folks; but
+somehow she has a way of keeping people at a distance, and even of
+repressing my pleasantries. We call her the Princess: She has to be
+approached with bated breath, and you must whisper your compliments if
+you want to fire them off at her; rear them as gently as a sucking
+child, in fact--and then they are very seldom appreciated.
+
+"Clarice," I said, "I want to get Hartman down here. Do treat him
+kindly, please; won't you, now?"
+
+She looked at me with her Juno air. "Why should I treat him kindly?"
+
+"O well, I won't say for my sake, because you wouldn't care for that.
+But the poor devil has lived in the woods so long."
+
+"He might have been well enough in his woods; but why should you bring
+your poor devils into civilized society, and expect me to bear with
+their gaucheries, in addition to your own?"
+
+There it is: she'll not forgive me in a year for upsetting her fine plan
+of going up there to beard the hermit in his den. She rarely takes these
+fancies, I must own; and when she does, she is not accustomed to be
+balked of them. As it has turned out, I might as well have let her have
+her way that time; there was no harm in it. "Princess, haven't you
+trampled on me enough? I was wrong, and I'm very sorry: what more can a
+man say? But Hartman had no hand in that."
+
+"Yes, that is clear now, no thanks to you. Small merit in confessing
+after you are proved guilty."
+
+"Well, you are pretty hard on a fellow. But you needn't punish Hartman
+for my fault. Thrash me all you like, but give him a chance. I give you
+my word of honor, Clarice, he is a finished gentleman, and very
+different from me. You needn't fear awkwardness in him. I knew you would
+like him."
+
+"How do _you_ know what I would like? If this Mr. Hartman wants to see a
+little of the world, I have no desire to prevent his being reclaimed
+from barbarism. Mabel and Jane can do that, without my aid. To tell you
+the truth, Robert, I don't care to meet the man, after the disgusting
+complications which you have introduced."
+
+I groaned--I couldn't help it. "Princess, please God, I will never
+interfere with you again. You shall be safe from any meddling of mine.
+If you will kindly say what you want, and say it slow, so that my
+limited faculties can take it in, I will try to act accordingly. But, if
+I may make so bold as to inquire, what are you up to now?"
+
+"I shall go away. O, you need not feel so badly about it, Bob: I am not
+tied to you and Mabel. I was in the South all winter, you know, and only
+returned while you were at your fishing. I have a dozen invitations for
+the summer: I think I will join Constance."
+
+"Not if I can help it, you won't. This is your natural home, Clarice,
+and you shall not be driven from it. Nobody shall enter here who is not
+acceptable to you: if anything about the house don't suit you, name it
+and it shall be corrected. You know Jane and Mabel worship you; so do
+the children, if you count them. I'll not have Hartman; or I can
+entertain him at the club while you are all at Newport."
+
+"That will be hospitality indeed. Would you desert your friend for me?"
+
+"I would not desert you for all the friends under the canopy. You have
+always ruled the house when you deigned to be in it, and you always
+will. I may be low in your books, but it does not follow that you are
+not high in mine. We can't do without you, Princess; you must stay. Name
+your price, and I'll pay it if it breaks me."
+
+"Very well then; I will remain, and meet your Mr. Hartman. But one thing
+must be distinctly understood: there must be no more crossing of my
+will. I must be absolutely free and unhampered, to plan and carry out
+what I see fit. I may possibly be wrong at times; but you will not know
+when, and it is not for you to judge. No more interference or
+opposition, remember. Do the terms suit you?"
+
+"O Lord, yes. I'll have a throne set up in the drawing-room, and
+everybody shall approach you Siamese fashion. And perhaps I had better
+come to you to see if my tie is right before dinner, and to practice
+what I shall say when we have company."
+
+"It might improve you. But Mabel should be competent to attend to those
+trifles. On one point I must instruct you, though. I shall doubtless do
+things that appear to you strange, perverse, incomprehensible. In such
+cases it will be best for you to walk by faith. No meddling nor
+espionage, mind."
+
+"Clarice, you don't think me capable of playing the spy on you?"
+
+"Not that exactly, but you sometimes indulge in little tricks and
+stratagems: you like to think that you hoodwink your wife--not that it
+ever succeeds--in small unimportant matters. Mabel and Jane may endure
+your attempts, if they like; but don't try them on me. They would never
+deceive me for a moment, of course; but I can't waste time in
+explaining that to you in detail. Besides, your fancied success would
+unsettle your mind, and so tend to disturb the domestic equilibrium."
+
+"Good heavens, Clarice! would I lie to you?"
+
+"No: you dare not. But let me have no subterfuges, no concealments, and
+no criticisms. What I may do you cannot expect to understand, nor is it
+necessary that you should."
+
+"Well, thought has been hitherto supposed to be free. When I see you at
+those little games of which you are to enjoy a monopoly, can't I have an
+opinion of them?"
+
+"O yes. The opinion will be of small value, but your poor mind must be
+amused and occupied somehow, I suppose. But you will be carrying your
+opinions about the house, and introducing an element of confusion. If
+you could keep your own counsel, now--but that is hopeless."
+
+"When you are operating on Hartman, for instance, it might confuse the
+programme if I were to say anything to him, eh?"
+
+"When I take Mr. Hartman up, it will be very much better for his welfare
+and yours for you to leave him in my hands."
+
+"O, he would rather be left there, no doubt, though they grind him to
+powder. But what the deuce am I to do? If I mayn't talk to anybody else,
+can't I come to you with my opinions--in odd moments, when your serene
+highness has nothing better on hand?"
+
+"You may bring your valuable ideas to me, and I will hear them, when I
+have leisure and inclination. Yes, that will be best. But no
+concealments, mind. When you think you know anything that affects me,
+come to me with it at once: otherwise you will be blurting it out to
+somebody else. You promise?"
+
+"I swear, by all my hopes of your royal favor. Anything else? I mean,
+has your majesty any further commands? You'll have to give me audience
+about three times a day, you know, to keep me in mind of all these
+rules, or I'll be safe to forget some of them."
+
+"You had better try to remember. I'll keep an eye on you. And now do you
+want any more, or have you learnt your lesson?"
+
+"I'll trust so. Henceforth I shall not call my soul my own. The humblest
+of your slaves craves permission to kiss the royal hand. I say, Clarice,
+you won't be rough on poor Hartman, will you? He's had hard lines: you
+could easily break him to pieces, what is left of him."
+
+"If there is so little left of him, there would be small credit in
+breaking him to pieces, as you elegantly express it. I shall probably
+let him alone."
+
+"Scarcely. There is a good deal left of him yet: he is as handsome a
+fellow, and as fine a fellow, as you'd be apt to find. You're tired of
+the regulation article, dancing man and such, that you meet every night:
+I don't wonder. This is something out of the common. He needs a little
+looking after, too. I wish now I had let you get at him in May, as you
+proposed."
+
+"Robert, if you fling that odious and vulgar figment of your debased
+imagination at me again, I will go away and never come back. You make me
+sick of the man's name. If you ever breathe a hint of this disgusting
+slander to him I will never forgive either of you, nor speak to you."
+
+"God forbid, Princess dear. Don't you know that your good name is as
+sacred to me as Mabel's? Wasn't I to come to you with notions that I
+couldn't put in words to anybody else?"
+
+"Let them have some shadow of reason and decency about them, then.
+Cannot a girl plan a rural excursion, in company with your sister and
+under your escort, without being accused of designs on a strange man who
+chances to be in the neighborhood? You try my patience sorely, Robert. I
+wonder how Mabel can endure you."
+
+"Well, he that is down can't fall any lower, as it says in Pilgrim's
+Progress. Walk over me some more, and then maybe you'll feel better.
+What the d--There, I'm at it again. Clarice, it might improve me if you
+would mix a little kindness with your corrections; handle me as if you
+loved me, like the old fisherman with his worms, you know. It
+discourages a fellow to get all kicks and no kisses."
+
+"Robert, look me in the eye and swear to purge your mind of that vile
+thought, and never to admit another that dishonors me."
+
+"O, I swear it. Bring me the Thirty-nine Articles and the Westminster
+Catechism and the Ten Tables, and I'll subscribe to all of 'em. I'll
+think anything you tell me to: I signed my soul away an hour ago." Here
+I saw that I had gone too far, and she was really angry. She's right; I
+must learn to check my confounded tongue, if I am to keep on any terms
+with the Princess. So I changed my tune, just in time. "Don't go,
+Clarice. Honestly, I beg your pardon; upon my soul, I do. Your word is
+all the evidence I want of any fact under heaven, of course. Princess
+dear, I've been fond of you since you were a baby, and it has grown with
+your growth--it has, really. I'll prove it some day: you wait and see.
+Forgive me this once, won't you? Don't speak, if you are tired, but just
+give me your hand, as they did in the Old Testament, in token of
+forgiveness."
+
+She gave it. I am not good at descriptions, but a man might go barefoot
+and fasting for a week, and be paid by touching such a hand as that. The
+queer thing is that I've known Clarice for over twenty years--I told you
+she had been in society for six--and practically lived with her most of
+that time, and yet she grows more surprising every day. It seems to be
+generally supposed that familiarity breeds contempt in such cases; that
+sisters, and wives, and the like, get to be an old story to the men who
+belong to them. Clarice is not that kind: possibly I am not. To be sure,
+she is neither my wife nor any blood relation; but I don't see that that
+makes any difference. They took out a patent for her up above, and
+reserved all rights, with no power of duplication. She might care for me
+a little more; but then I don't suppose I've ever given her any reason
+to. I am well enough in my way, but I'm not such an original and
+striking specimen of my 'sect' as she is of hers--not by a long shot.
+She was exhausted now, and that is how I got a chance to put in all this
+wisdom just here. I might talk to Mabel for a week, and it would produce
+no effect: but a little thing upsets the Princess, her organization is
+so delicate and sensitive. She is all alive and on fire, or else languid
+and disdainful: she can't take life easily, as people of coarser grain
+do, like me. Her brain weighs too much and works too hard; that uses her
+up. I don't doubt she has a heart to match; but it has never yet waked
+up to any great extent, so far as I have seen or heard. No matter;
+people will care for you all the same, Beauty, whether you care for them
+or not. Don't fancy that I am the only one--far from it: but I have the
+luck to be her adopted brother from infancy, and to have access to her
+when others have not. She is not always kind--very seldom, in fact, up
+to date: but it is a privilege to look at her, and any treatment from
+her is good enough for me. She used to tyrannize over me in this way
+when she was ten and I twenty, and so it will be, no doubt, to the end
+of the chapter. Outside, I sometimes take on a man-of-the-world air, and
+fancy that I can think of you lightly, my Princess--that is the correct
+society tone, and it does not pay to display the finer feelings of our
+nature to the general world: but when I come under the spell of your
+presence, I know that that is all humbug, and that you are Fair Inez of
+the ballad, God bless you. You and Hartman ought to get on together: it
+might be a good thing for you both--him especially. Mabel and Jane are
+women too, but they are as devoted to you as I am, according to their
+lights, and more jealous for you: jealousy seems to be no part of me,
+luckily. Well, between us we ought to be able to keep all harm from you,
+if you will let us.
+
+Of course I didn't say all this out loud, but only thought it. Then she
+opened her eyes and yawned a little.
+
+"Have I been asleep, Bob? I must have been: you tired me so. O yes, I
+know you think a good deal of me: that is an old story. Well, anything
+more?"
+
+"Only about poor Hartman, dear: you didn't promise yet."
+
+"Well, when he comes I will look him over and see what is to be done
+with him. I must go upstairs and dress now." And with this I had to be
+content.
+
+This conversation occurred of a Sunday afternoon, when Mabel and Jane
+had gone to Church, and taken Herbert with them: the infants were out
+for an airing with their nurse. Fortunately there was a long missionary
+sermon, and a big collection, to which I must send five dollars extra:
+the occasion was worth that much to me. As the Princess left the room,
+they came in. They looked at her, then at me. "What have you been doing
+to Clarice, Robert?"
+
+"Only preparing her to receive Hartman."
+
+"Preparing her! you great goose, what does she want with your
+preparation? You'll only prejudice her against him, and spoil any
+chances he might have. Let her alone, do. Haven't you made mischief
+enough between them already?"
+
+That is all they know about it. Churchgoing sometimes fails to bring the
+female mind into a proper frame. But you see they are ready to scratch
+out even my eyes at the thought that I have been rubbing her down the
+wrong way. No matter: I know what I know, and they need not try to make
+me believe that these things will go right without proper management.
+
+
+
+
+V.
+
+CONSULTATION.
+
+
+We usually go to Newport for the summer. As Mrs. Fishhawk says, the
+bathing is so fine, and the cliffs are such a safe place for children to
+play. Not that we care so much for the society: the Princess has seen
+the vanity of that and been bored with it, and the rest of us are very
+domestic people. After much persuasion through the mail, Hartman agreed
+to join us there: I was to pick him up in New York and take him down. A
+night or two before this, Clarice took me out on the aforesaid cliffs,
+which afford a fine walk in the moonlight with the right kind of
+company, but somewhat dangerous if you get spoony and forget to look
+where you are going. The Princess, it is needless to say, never commits
+this folly: she always has her wits about her, and wits of a high order
+they are, as not a few men have found to their cost, myself
+included,--many and many a time. She opened the ball.
+
+"Robert, do you remember our compact?"
+
+"I'm not likely to forget it. Your words are my law, more sacred and
+peremptory than the Ten Commandments, or those of the old codger who
+wrote 'em in blood because his ink had given out. As a servant looks to
+the hand of his mistress, so am I to watch your dark blue eye for
+direction and approval. Deign to cast a sweet smile, however faint, in
+this direction occasionally: it won't cost you much, and will encourage
+me. If the devotion of a lifetime--"
+
+"Yes, I know all that: at least you've said it often enough. Now you
+will have an opportunity to put it in practice. Drop generalities, and
+come to business."
+
+"My heart's queen, I am all attention. Speak, and thy slave obeys. Bid
+me leap from yon beetling crag into the billows' angry roar--"
+
+"Will you stop that, or shall I go into the house? We are not rehearsing
+private theatricals now."
+
+"Ah, indeed? I thought we might be. I expect to see some next week."
+
+"You will see my place at table vacant if you don't keep quiet, and
+listen to what I have to say. I can join Constance yet. You talk about
+your affection for me and anxiety to serve me, and when I want something
+definite of you, you go off into the Byronic, or the Platonic, or what
+you would perhaps call the humorous: it is not easy to discriminate
+them. Once for all, will you do as I bid you, or not?"
+
+When the Princess wants to bring a man to book, he has to come there,
+and stay there till he sees a favorable opening for a break: there was
+none such just now. So I called in the white-winged coursers of my too
+exuberant fancy, locked them up in the barn, begged the lady's pardon as
+usual, and composed myself into an attitude of respectful and devout
+attention, as if I were in church. It was not long after dinner: I
+wanted to have some more fun, but that did not seem to be just the time
+and place for it. My preceptress eyed me sternly, and waxed anew the
+thread of her discourse.
+
+"I told you that my actions might appear strange to your ignorance. I
+will tell you now what my plan is, so far as is necessary for your
+guidance: then perhaps you will have sense enough not to go gaping
+about, but to fall into line and do what is required of you. I have
+determined to see very little of this Mr. Hartman--"
+
+"O now, Clarice! After you promised! I relied on you--"
+
+"Be still, stupid, and hear me out. I shall see but little of him at
+first. You have made such an ado about the man, I am disposed to be
+interested in him, for your sake. There, that will do; let my hand
+be."--I was merely pressing it a little, I assure you, to testify my
+gratitude for this unusual consideration: I don't know when she ever
+owned to doing a thing for my sake before. "For your sake first, you
+great baby, and then, if he is worth it, for his own. But at the start,
+as I told you, I must look him over; and that I can do best at a little
+distance."
+
+"And then you mean to take him in and do for him? You can, of course;
+but, Princess dear, be merciful--for my sake first, and then, if he is
+worth it, for his own. Don't grind him up too fine: leave pieces of him
+big enough to be recognized and collected by his weeping friends."
+
+"Robert, you really ought to try to restrain your native coarseness.
+What can a man like you know of the motives and intentions of a woman
+like me? Poor child, if I were to put them before you in the plainest
+terms the facts and the dictionary allow, you could not understand
+them."
+
+As a quartz-crusher the Princess could have won fame and fortune. I hope
+she may not pulverize Hartman as effectually as she does me: he might
+not take it so kindly. To eliminate the metaphor, she is a master at the
+wholesome process of taking a man down: not that I don't often deserve
+it, or that it is not good for me. In fact, I've given her occasion,
+from her youth up, to get her hand in; and admiration of her skill binds
+up the wounds, so to speak, with which my whole moral nature is scarred
+at least sixteen deep. In case you should not follow my imaginative
+style, let me say in simpler language that I am used to it; but another
+man might not understand it. I consumed some more humble pie--these
+desserts occur frequently in the symposia of our conversations--and she
+resumed.
+
+"So I will leave him to Jane at first. She will be very sisterly and
+gracious, and will make the first stages of his return to the world easy
+and pleasant. This may last two days, or two weeks."
+
+"O, don't overdo it. He talked of staying but a week or ten days."
+
+"Dear Robert, you are so innocent. He will stay as long as I want him
+to."
+
+"What, whether you notice him or not?"
+
+"Of course. Are you six years old? Have you never seen me in action
+before?"
+
+"Body of Venus and soul of Sappho, I give it up. Of course you can do
+anything you like, but I never realized that you could do it without
+seeming to take a hand in the game. I strew ashes on my head like
+what's-his-name, and sit down in the dust at your feet. Forgive a
+penitent devotee for forming such lame and inadequate conceptions of
+your power. But what part do you want me to dress for in this improving
+moral drama?"
+
+"Your part is very simple. Of course I must be occupied. I should hardly
+shine as a wall-flower."
+
+"You would shine anywhere. If you were a violet by an old stone, you
+couldn't be half or a quarter hidden from the eye. But the supposition
+is impossible. If you were free, no other girl in the room would have a
+chance."
+
+"That is very passable, though not wholly new. You are improving, Bob.
+If you would give your mind to it, I could mould you into tolerable
+manners yet.--Well, I might get plenty of men from the houses around.
+But they are tiresome--staler than you, my Robert, though I see less of
+them--and I can't take the same liberties with them I do with you. You
+are to belong to me as long as I may want you."
+
+"That is not new at all, Princess. It has been so for years. Everybody
+about the house knows that, even the servants--and all our friends."
+
+"Yes, of course. But I am to make special use of my property for the
+next few days. You will have to be in constant attendance. You ought to
+enjoy the prospect, and the reality when it comes."
+
+"I do; I shall: bet your boots on that. O confound it, I've got my lines
+mixed already."
+
+"Rather. If you startle the audience with such a speech as that, what
+will Mr. Hartman think? You must put on your prettiest behavior, Bob.
+Make a desperate effort, and try to keep it up--for my sake, now."
+
+"For your sake I can be Bayard and Crichton and Brummell and all those
+dudes rolled into one. I'll order some new clothes when I go down. And
+you will have to be very gracious to me, you know."
+
+"Am I not gracious enough now, pet? How is this for a rehearsal?"
+
+"Beyond my wildest dreams, Empress. When you treat me thus for an hour,
+I can bear your ill usage for a year."
+
+"There will be no ill usage at present, if you behave. Now don't forget,
+and spoil the play. Understand, you are to pair off with me, as Mr.
+Hartman with Jane. Mabel is mostly occupied with the children; we will
+all look after her, of course. And there will be mixing and change of
+partners, but not much. You must watch, and obey my slightest hint--the
+turn of an eyelid, the flutter of a fan. I'll teach you all that."
+
+"I know a lot of it already: when it comes to watching you, I am a
+dabster. I'll behave as if I was at school to Plato and Confucius, and
+in training to succeed them both. Do you know, Princess, if you were to
+treat a stranger for half a day as you are treating me now, he would
+want to die for you?"
+
+"He might die for want of me before the day was over, if he grew
+lackadaisical over his wants. All men are not so chivalrous as you, my
+poor Robert. You may have to do that sort of dying before long. You must
+be ready to be dropped when the time comes to change the figures. No
+growling or moping, mind: you must submit sweetly, and take your place
+in the background with Jane, while the rest of the play goes on."
+
+"I know: I've been there before. I can find consolation in seeing you
+carry the leading part. One set of men passes away, and another set
+comes on; but the Princess goes on conquering, regardless of the moans
+of her victims as they writhe on the bloody battlefield. O, I'm used to
+being shoved aside, and feeding on my woes in silent patience. The
+flowret fades when day is done, and so does every mother's son Who
+thinks his course is just begun, And knows not that his race is run--How
+does it go on, Clarice? I forget the rest of it."
+
+"It is a pity you didn't forget the whole of it. I would if I were you,
+and quickly, lest you horrify some one else with it. You are too big to
+pose as a flowret, Bob."
+
+"Polestar of my faith, see here. I'll have to be around with Hartman,
+smoking and so on, nights, after you and the rest have turned in, and
+often in the daylight. You and Jane can't attend to his case in person
+all the time, you know, and I'm his host. What shall I say about you?"
+
+"Anything you like. Praise me to the skies, of course. That will be in
+keeping with your part as my cavalier; and he will see how things are
+between us--on your side, I mean. Tell him about my few faults, if you
+can bring yourself to mention them. Yes, you must; they will set off my
+many virtues. Be perfectly natural about it: you have known and
+cherished me from infancy, and so forth. Not a word, of course, about
+our compact, and these rehearsals, and my coaching you--O you great
+booby, were you capable of blurting that out? If you do, you'll spoil
+all, and I'll never forgive you. Remember now: you profess to dread my
+anger, and you have reason; you've felt it before. If you want me ever
+to trust you again, keep to yourself what is between us; regard it as
+sacred. O, I know you profess to look at all that belongs to me in that
+light; but show your faith by your works. Swear it to me now."
+
+I swore. That is a ceremony which has to be gone through rather
+frequently with the Princess, and somehow I don't mind it. But how the
+deuce is one to remember all these rules and regulations? I'll have to
+get Clarice to write them out for me, by chapter and verse, with big
+headings; then I'll get the thing printed, and carry it about with me,
+and study it nights and mornings. But Mabel might find it in my clothes:
+she is welcome to my secrets, but this is not mine. I might have it
+printed in cipher; but then I should be sure to lose the key. O,
+confound it all, I'll have to chance it: I'll be sure to slip up
+somewhere, and then there'll be a row. Well, why borrow trouble? Let's
+gather the flowers while we may: only there are none just here, and it
+is too dark to find them. Then a thought suddenly struck me: why not
+head off the difficulty by improving my position beforehand? "Princess
+dearest, do you like me better than you used to, or is this only part
+of the play, the excitement of practicing for a newcomer? Tell me,
+please--there's a dear."
+
+We were near the house now, and she darted away from me. "If you tells
+me no questions, I asks you no lies," she sang gaily as she ran in. O
+shades of Juliet and Cleopatra, what a woman that is--or what an idiot I
+am: I can't be sure which till I get an outside opinion. I'd give odds
+that within a fortnight Hartman will be far gone. It will be life or
+death for him, poor old man. But he's nigh dead now, inwardly speaking,
+and so has not much to lose. Anyway, he'll see that a world with Clarice
+in it is not as blank and chilly as he thinks it now--not by several
+thousand degrees. I fancy his thermometer will begin to go up pretty
+soon. He needs shaking up and turning inside out and upside down--a
+general ventilating, in fact, and I rather think Miss Elliston will
+administer it to him.
+
+
+
+
+VI.
+
+PREPARATION.
+
+
+I was mighty glad that Clarice felt this way about Hartman's coming; she
+has not waked up so, or come down from her Olympian clouds of
+indifference, in a long time. But still I thought it best to go around
+and make some more preparations. When I have a secret to carry, it
+oppresses my frank and open nature more than you would think; and I find
+that I can conceal it best by inquiring concerning the matter of it of
+persons who know nothing about it. Naturally I began with the head of
+the house. That is myself, I suppose, nominally; but every decent man
+allows his wife to fill the position, and get what comfort she can out
+of it.
+
+"Mabel," I said, "I hope that Hartman will enjoy himself here."
+
+"You told us he was not given to enjoying himself; on the contrary,
+quite the reverse. No doubt he will take us as he finds us. He will
+hardly want to go out to dinner every day, and meet the Vanderdeck's and
+the foreign princess."
+
+"But, Mabel, I trust you are all prepared to meet him in the right
+spirit."
+
+"What absurd questions you ask, Robert. You talk as if he were a bishop,
+come to convert us: I thought we were to convert him. I hope I do not
+need to be instructed how to receive my husband's friends. And Jane is
+ready to take an interest in him: she can be very nice, you know."
+
+"And Clarice: will she do her part?"
+
+"Nobody knows what Clarice will do on any occasion. She would be more
+apt to do what you wish if you would not trouble her about Mr. Hartman.
+We are not three little maids from school, to be taught our manners. Why
+can you not learn that matters would move just as well, yes, and better,
+without your continual interference, dear? Your blunders only complicate
+them, and disturb the harmony."
+
+Now that is a nice way for the wife of one's bosom to talk, isn't it?
+How often, O how often, would I remove the clouds of care from her
+placid brow, and smooth her path through life by graceful persiflage and
+appropriate witticisms: but she does not seem to appreciate them. I fear
+she must have had some Scottish ancestors. Sometimes I think she does
+not appreciate _me_. It is a cold world; a cold, heartless, unfeeling,
+unresponsive world, in which the sensitive spirit may fly around
+promiscuously like Noah's dove, and have to stay out in a low
+temperature. Wisely and beneficently is it arranged that Virtue should
+be her own reward, since she gets no other. I will try Jane next.
+
+"My dear sister, you know I go to town to-night, and expect to bring
+Hartman back. You will receive him kindly, for my sake, will you not?"
+
+Jane is a little prim at times, and I have to arrange my sentences
+carefully, when I am with her.
+
+"I will do that, of course: why so many words about it? Have you not
+been preparing me, and all of us, for this visit, for the last month? We
+know what is right, Robert: _your_ behavior is the only doubtful part."
+
+"But Clarice, sister? She is always so doubtful, as Mabel says; so
+capricious, so haughty, so unapproachable. You have great influence with
+her. Dear Jane, can you not persuade her to treat my poor friend
+kindly?"
+
+"Now, brother, why will you be such an unconscionable humbug? We all
+know that you are in her confidence, when any one is. What were you two
+talking about all last evening? Hatching some plot, no doubt. But it was
+not intended to be practiced on me--not on her part; that is your
+unauthorized addition to her text." And the maiden assumed the part of
+Pallas, and gazed at me with severity, as if she would read my inmost
+soul. But she can't beat Clarice at that. See here, young lady, you are
+too sharp; you are getting dangerously near the truth. I came near
+saying this out, but did not. Instead I took an injured tone.
+
+"You are a pretty sister, Jane, to go about suspecting me this way, and
+accusing me of intrigue and hypocrisy, and all kinds of black-hearted
+wickedness. What would I want to deceive you for? You know we all have
+to consider Clarice, and humor her: she is an orphan, and we are her
+nearest friends. She amuses herself with me sometimes, for want of
+another man at hand, and then throws me aside when the fit is over."
+
+"O yes, we all know that, of course. Well, brother, you can go to town
+with an easy mind. Leave Mr. Hartman to Clarice and me; when she is not
+in the humor to attend to him, I will."
+
+Now how does Jane come to know so much? Has the Princess been taking her
+into the plan too, as well as me? That I don't believe. Clarice would
+expect Jane to take her cue by intuition, and not bother to coach her as
+she has me: perhaps she can trust Jane farther. That must be it: one
+woman can see into another's mind where a man couldn't. I must put a
+mark on that for future reference. They do beat us at some minor points.
+Well, I didn't exactly get the best of that encounter: it seems to me I
+owe Jane one, which I must try and remember to pay.
+
+
+
+
+VII.
+
+INITIATION.
+
+
+Hartman arrived on schedule time, and was duly taken home with me. "Old
+man," I said, "welcome back to the amenities of life; to the tender
+charities of man and woman; to the ties, too long neglected, which bind
+your being to the world's glad heart. You are the prodigal returning
+from sowing his wild oats in the backwoods: the fatted calf shall be
+killed for you, in moderation, as per contract, and the home brewed ale
+drawn mild. We are quiet people, and live mostly by ourselves: that will
+suit your book. The giddy crowd, in its frivolous pursuit of amusement
+and fashion, surges by in the immediate vicinity, and old Ocean, in his
+storm-tost fury, dashes his restless waves upon our good back door, or
+adjacent thereto. But we give small heed to either one of them. The sea
+views and feminine costumes are supposed to be of the highest order,
+and there is polo at stated intervals, if you care for such; but these
+vanities have little to do with the calm current of our daily life. You
+will shortly have in front of you a christian family, united in bonds of
+long-tried affection and confidence. The earthly paradise, James, must
+be sought in the peaceful bosom of one's Home. After tossing on the
+angry billows of Water Street, how sweet to return to this haven of
+rest! And you too, world-worn and weary man of woes, shall receive
+attention. The furrows of care shall be smoothed out of your manly brow:
+gentle hands will bind up your wounds--even the one you got from that
+girl a dozen years ago, if it isn't healed yet. The shadows of gloomy
+and soul-debasing Theory will flit away from your bewildered brain, and
+in this healthful atmosphere your spirit will regain its long-lost tone,
+and embrace once more the ethereal images of Hope and Joy and Faith.
+Probably you will yet find some one to love in this wide world of
+sorrow; anyway, we hope to send you forth clothed and in your right
+mind."
+
+"I hope I'm properly clothed now, or will be with what I've got in my
+trunk; and I need to be in my right mind to take in all this eloquence.
+I was mistaken about you, Bob; you should have been a preacher. The only
+drawback is, you don't stick to one key long enough: these sudden
+changes in your woodnotes wild might confuse a congregation."
+
+"The church lacks vivacity and sense of humor, Jim: she's all for a dull
+monotone. Old Fuller is dead: his mantle descended on me, but they don't
+appreciate that style nowadays. To return to our topic, and deal with
+the duty that lies nearest. In an humble and pottering way, we are a
+happy family, James. We envy not the rich and great: seek elsewhere
+their gilded saloons, and tinsel trappings of pride; but you will find
+things pretty comfortable. I regret to say we'll have to do our smoking
+out of doors; but it is generally warm enough for that. If we are noted
+for anything, it is for modest contentment, unassuming virtue, and
+cheerful candor--just as you see them in me. Each face reflects the
+genuine emotions and guileless innocence of the heart connected
+therewith; more than that, they reflect one another, as in a glass. You
+can look at Mabel, and see all that is passing in my capacious bosom. We
+share each other's woes, each other's burdens bear, and if we don't drop
+the sympathizing tear frequently, it is because there is very seldom any
+call for it. We have no secrets from one another: limpid and pure flows
+the confidential stream--but it flows no further than the fence. You can
+say what you like to any of us, and it will not go out of the
+house--unless the servants overhear it; you'll have to look out for
+that, of course."
+
+"See here, Bob; judging by you, I had no idea I was coming among such
+apostolic manners, or I'd have taken a course of A Kempis. Are there any
+prayer-meetings near by, where I can go to freshen up?"
+
+"Within a mile or two, no doubt. Jane can tell you about them; she can
+lend you a prayer-book, anyway. But I was not meaning to discourage you:
+they will make allowances. My wife is an exemplary woman; if you want to
+get on with her, you'll have to take an interest in Herbert's bruises
+when he falls over the banisters. He is the only one of the children who
+will trouble you much; the others are small yet, happily. My sister is a
+pattern of propriety, but of rather an inquiring mind, and sympathetic
+if you take her the right way: she can talk with you about philosophy
+and science and your dried-up old doxies. Not that she knows anything
+about Schopenhauer, and Darwin, and Diogenes, of course; but she's heard
+their names, and she'll pretend to be posted--you know how women are.
+And when you need a mental tonic--the companionship of a robust
+intellect, the stimulus of wide acquaintance with the great world of men
+and things, a manly comprehension of any difficulties that you may meet,
+or sound and wise advice how to steer your way through the pitfalls and
+intricacies of the female character--in such cases, which will no doubt
+often arise, you have only to come to me. I know all about these
+matters, of which you have had no experience. I'll be at home as much as
+possible while you are there, and I'll stand by you, Jim."
+
+"Thanks, awfully--as I believe they say where we are going. Yes, you
+will be an invaluable mentor, Bob. Well, I'll try not to disgrace you.
+It is late: let us turn in."
+
+This important conversation took place on the boat. You see, when I was
+with Hartman in May, he took the lead; but in my own house, or on the
+way to it, I like to be cock of the walk. Besides, as I had prepared the
+women for his coming, so now it was necessary to prepare his mind to
+meet them. In my picture of our domestic felicity, I may have laid on
+some tints too heavily, as about our mutual confidence. But he will soon
+see how that is. You may notice that I said nothing about the Princess.
+There was a deep design in that omission. When the orb of day in all his
+glory bursts from his liquid bed upon the astonished gaze of some lonely
+wanderer on the Andes, or the Alps,--or our own Rockies, say,--the
+spectacle is all the more effective if the wanderer was not expecting
+anything of the kind; didn't suppose it was time yet, or, still better,
+didn't know there was any sun. That is the way Jim will feel when he
+sees Clarice. If he has forgotten about her wanting to go up there in
+the woods in May, O. K.; that will meet her views, and he'll be reminded
+of her existence soon enough.
+
+This is one of those delicate ideas which might not occur to the male
+mind unassisted: in fact, left to my native nothingness, I should
+probably have enlarged on her charms most of the evening. But she laid
+special stress on this point, that I was to say as little as possible
+about her beforehand, and fortunately I remembered it. Hartman thinks he
+is going to have a safe and easy time with me and two highly respectable
+ladies of sedate minds and settled habits. Sleep on, deluded James,
+while I finish my cigar here on deck: dream of the forest and the trout
+brooks, and your neighbor Hodge and your old tomcat. By to-morrow night
+your mental horizon will be enlarged, and when you return to your castle
+in the wilderness there will be some new sensations tugging at your
+vitals. It will be a change for you, old man, and you needed one. Well,
+I've given you enough to think of for now, and you'll get more before
+you are a week older. I hope he will come through it right: it is like
+taking one's friend to the surgeon to undergo an operation, when he
+doesn't know that anything ails him or is going to be done. Poor old
+Jim, I wouldn't have put up such a job on you if I didn't believe it was
+for your good. I am not a pessimist like you: I believe in God and the
+Princess.
+
+
+
+
+VIII.
+
+INTRODUCTION.
+
+
+The drive from the wharf is too long: I often think that the older part
+of the town ought to be submerged, or removed to one of the adjacent
+islands. We met the family at breakfast, and I said, "Ladies, you see
+before you a wild man of the woods, brought hither to be subdued and
+civilized by your gentle ministrations. By the way, Mabel, there was a
+corner in oil yesterday. I made fourteen thousand, and Simpkins went
+under; so you can have that new gown now." They paid no attention
+whatever to these pleasantries. Clarice was not there, or the sparkling
+fount of humor would have flowed less freely.
+
+Hartman has very good manners when he chooses, and in my house he would
+naturally choose; so he got on well enough. The children took to him at
+once, and he seemed to take to them. After breakfast I led him out for a
+walk, to show him the points of interest. Several very creditable
+cottages have been put up since he was here last: in fact, this is quite
+a growing place, for the country. As we went back he suddenly said,
+"Bob, who is this Clarice that your sister mentioned at the table? Fancy
+name, isn't it?"
+
+"O no," I said as indifferently as I could. He ought not to go springing
+her on me in that way: it makes a man nervous. "She's an orphan; a sort
+of cousin of Mrs. T. Got no brothers or sisters, and all that sort of
+thing; so we look after her a good deal. Sometimes she's with us,
+sometimes she's not. Was south all winter: got back while I was up there
+with you."
+
+Now what the deuce did I say that for? It'll brush up his rusty mental
+machinery, and help him to recall what she wants forgotten. Just so; of
+course.
+
+"Yes, I remember. She thought of joining you with Miss Jane. I wish you
+had let them come."
+
+"Well, you see, you don't know what these girls are used to; I do. There
+were no fit quarters for them at Hodge's. I had gone and written my wife
+a lot of rot, pretending his place was much better than it is."
+
+"With your usual unassuming virtue and cheerful candor; yes. We have no
+secrets from one another: the limpid stream of confidence flows
+unchecked and unpolluted. Just so. But see here, you old hypocrite, if
+there is another young woman in the family, you ought to have told me
+about her last night, when you were preparing my mind, you know, and
+pretending to explain the whole domestic situation.--Great heavens,
+who's that?"
+
+We had turned a corner, and come plump on the house; and there on the
+piazza, two rods away, sat a rare and radiant maiden, playing cat's
+cradle with my eldest son and heir. I can't tell you how she was
+dressed; but she was a phantom of delight when thus she broke upon our
+sight; a lovely apparition, sent to be Jim Hartman's blandishment. At
+least so it seemed, for he stood there and stared like a noble savage.
+As when the lightning descends on the giant oak in its primeval
+solitude--but I must stop this; she is too near, though she pretends not
+to see us yet. So I whispered in low and warning tones:
+
+"Brace up, Jim. She's not the one you met here twelve years ago, who
+jilted you at Naples: this one wasn't out of her Fourth Reader then.
+Don't get them mixed, or be deceived by a chance resemblance." I thought
+it was better to lay his embarrassment on that old affair, you see. But
+that was all nonsense: he never saw anybody like Clarice before--how
+should he?
+
+"Confound you, Bob," he muttered between his teeth, "so you've been
+practising your openhearted innocence on me. Get on with it now, and
+finish it up."
+
+He pulled himself together, and I went through the introduction with due
+decorum; then I got away as soon as I could. You see, I was unmanned by
+the spectacle of so much young emotion, and somewhat exhausted by my own
+recent exertions. I found a cool corner in the library; and presently
+Jane had to come in. "What is the matter with you, Robert? Why do you
+sit there grinning like an idiot?" Perhaps a smile of benevolence had
+overspread my striking countenance; and that's the way she distorts it.
+I could not tell her what pleased me, so I said I had been reading a
+comic paper. "You write your own comic papers, I suspect; and bad enough
+they are. If you go on at this rate, you will end by editing the _Texas
+Siftings_. Do try to be decent, brother, while you have a guest in the
+house." I suppose she thinks that is a crushing rebuke, now. I said I
+would try, and told her she had better join Clarice and Hartman, who
+would probably be tired of each other by this time. Here again I have
+played into the Princess' hands. She doesn't want Jim to see too much of
+her at first, but to get used to the blinding glare by degrees, and take
+his physic in small doses, until he can bear it in larger. At least I
+hope so: if I've made a mistake and spoiled the procession, I'll learn
+it soon enough. But Jane wouldn't go unless it was right: that's the
+good of being a woman. You don't catch me interrupting them, or going
+near the Princess when she has any of her procedures on foot, unless I
+am called.
+
+
+
+
+IX.
+
+AT NEWPORT.
+
+
+I could not tell you all that occurred that week; but it went exactly as
+Clarice intended and had foretold. She was gracious and equable and
+gentle, a model young lady of the social-domestic type; but Hartman did
+not see much of her. I on my part was kept steadily occupied, what with
+boats, and horses, and parasols, and fans, and wools, and wide hats, and
+more things than you could think of. It was, "Robert, come out on the
+cliffs," or "Robert, get my garden gloves, please; they are in the
+sitting-room, or somewhere else;" or "Robert, take me to town; I must
+telegraph to Constance;" or "Bob dear, would you mind running over to
+Miss Bliffson's, and telling her that I can't go to the Society this
+afternoon; and on your way back, stop at the milliner's and see if my
+hat is done." I usually attended to these commissions promptly; when you
+have women about, your generous heart will rejoice to protect and
+indulge their helplessness. They are the clinging vine, you are the
+sturdy oak; and then, as I said, Clarice is an orphan. Hartman at first
+showed an inclination to relieve me of the lighter part of these useful
+avocations, such as taking her about over the rocks and in the bay; but
+she very quietly, and without the least discourtesy, made him understand
+that no foreigners need apply for that situation. Other men were coming
+after her every day, but she avoided them or sent them to the right
+about: she can do that in a way to make you feel that you have received
+a favor. She kept reminding me that it was my business to wait on her:
+if these things were paid for in cash, I should want high wages, for
+the duties are far from light. But I can stand it: within the bosom of
+Robert T. glows a spark of warm and pure philanthropy. When I see my
+fellow-creatures in need, and this good right arm refuses to extend its
+friendly aid, may my hand cleave to the roof of my mouth--O well, you
+know what I mean. I used to retire to my meagre and philosophic
+cot-bedstead with aching limbs and an approving conscience: I never was
+worked so hard before. Some of these errands were perfectly needless, I
+knew. She can't want to get me out of the way for an hour or two, for I
+am never _in_ the way; nor simply to show what she can do, for that is
+an old story, familiar to all concerned. Doubtless she has some high
+moral end in view; perhaps to teach Hartman what are the true relations
+of man and woman, and how the nobler animal can be trained to be a
+helpmeet and boy-of-all-work to the weaker. Whether this will suit his
+views I doubt; but she knows what she is about. It is mine not to
+question why, mine not to make reply, mine simply to go on doing what my
+hand finds to do--of which there is quite enough at present. Meanwhile,
+everybody else is having a nice easy time, while I am laboring like six
+dray-horses for the general good. Hartman sits about with Jane, and they
+seem to be getting on finely. Mabel also appears to enjoy his society.
+Sometimes she looks at me and at Clarice, and then at Jim, in a way
+which might indicate a notion that things are too much mixed, and that
+the Princess ought to be giving her attention to Hartman's case. I think
+so too, but it is not for me to suggest it. I feel like asking Mrs. T.
+what all these complications mean, and why she does not straighten them
+out: she is Clarice's relative and hostess, and head of the house when I
+am away. But it will straighten itself pretty soon now, and a new tangle
+will begin for the predestined victim. Wild man of the woods, your hour
+will soon strike, and the grim executioner in the black mask will
+prepare to take your head off. You will see a hand not clearly visible
+to the outside world--a very beautiful hand it is too, as I ought to
+know--that will beckon you to your doom: you will hear a voice whose
+silvery music will drown all fears, all scruples, all world-sick
+longings for your woman-hating moods, all memories of your lost Lenore
+of long ago, and tell you that resistance and delay are vain. What the
+details of the process may be, and whether joy or woe will tip the
+scales for one who takes things as seriously as you do, I cannot tell;
+but it is coming, and it is coming presently. You may not like it: you
+are not used to it as I am; but you cannot help yourself. Farewell to
+the old life, the old delusions, the old fancied knowledge: you will
+find yourself a small boy in primary school, beginning the world anew.
+You think you are locked up in steel, defended by your indifference,
+your disgust, your unbelief in Life. These glittering generalities will
+fall into dust before the wand of a magician who has some eminently
+particular business with you. You have sounded the depths, and found
+them shallow; you have tested values, and they are less than nothing,
+and vanity; you have emptied the pincushion, and only bran is there. My
+skeptical friend, a sharp needle is there yet, and it will prick your
+finger: there are depths that you know nothing about, and heights too,
+it may be: there are thrills of life that will go through all your
+veins, and show you that you are not as near dead as you supposed. You
+were but a boy when that girl gave you your quietus, as you imagined;
+you are a man now, with more in you than you fancy, and another girl may
+bring you to life. Still in your ashes live their ancient fires, and I'm
+mistaken if they don't start a superior blaze before long. Well, well,
+I hope it will make a man of you.
+
+
+
+
+X.
+
+ON THE CLIFFS.
+
+
+I was betrayed into the above apostrophe by the violence of my
+sympathies; but the lucid and graphic sentences which precede this
+moralizing ably sum up the situation during the first week of Hartman's
+visit. A good deal of wisdom was in circulation: I said some things
+myself which deserve to be remembered, and the others occasionally dropt
+a remark which showed how the ball was moving. You will want the chief
+of these outpourings in order of time, as landmarks in this history.
+
+Clarice took me apart the first day and began to cross-examine me: that
+is, she told me to go outside and wait for her, and by the time she came
+it was dusk. Why is it that the garish day seems to freeze our finer
+emotions, and reduce us to the monotonous level of a dull cold
+practicality? It is under the calm light of moon and stars that soul
+speaks to soul, and we gain those subtler experiences, those deeper
+views of our own nature and that of our nearest and dearest, which so
+far transcend the plodding sciences of the laboratory, the useless
+learning of the pedant, and the empty wisdom of the children of this
+world.
+
+"Come, Robert, wake up; don't sit mooning there like a calf. Make your
+report."
+
+"Report?" said I, thus rudely startled from a train of thought which
+might have borne rich fruit for coming generations. "What about?"
+
+"What about? You forget yourself. Whose employ are you in?"
+
+"Well, on Water Street I am supposed to be carrying on business for
+myself, and at home I am the envied husband and father of a happy and
+admiring family. Clarice, I was meditating on subjects of much moment;
+and the duties of hospitality claim my valuable time. Did you wish to
+speak to me particularly?"
+
+"None of your nonsense, now. What did you talk about last night on the
+boat?"
+
+"All sorts of things. My conversation is always improving. I explained
+to Jim that his reentrance on society could not be made under fairer
+auspices; that models of deportment and of all the virtues would be
+about him on every hand; that a pure atmosphere of love and peace
+pervaded this modest mansion; that joy was unconfined; that we could lay
+our weary heads on each other's bosoms in the repose of perfect trust,
+knowing that not a thought entered any one of them which the angels
+above might not look into with satisfaction, and--"
+
+"You talk too much about bosoms, Robert: it is not in good taste. What
+did you say about me?"
+
+"Divil a word, bedad. Wasn't that right? Didn't you tell me to keep
+dark, and not mention you?"
+
+"Not unnecessarily. But didn't he ask?"
+
+"He'd forgotten all about you. Now, Princess, don't be offended; there
+was next to nothing to forget, you know. It's not as if he had ever seen
+you, or really heard anything about you. O, I'll talk you up to him
+whenever you say so; to-night, if you like. But I thought his forgetting
+was what you wanted. Didn't I manage it well? Do own that now, please.
+Let those cerulean orbs shed one ray of gentle light upon the path of a
+weary wayfarer--yes, that's better. Have I merited your approval, Serene
+Highness?"
+
+"You've done very well--for you. But was it necessary to tell so many
+lies, Bob?"
+
+"Now _that_ is not in good taste, if I am a judge--to put such ugly
+names upon the graceful fancies with which I decorate the plain, rude
+facts of everyday life. What are we without Imagination, that glorious
+gift which causes the desert to rejoice and blossom like your little
+flower-bed in the back yard at home? You know, Clarice, that my mind is
+a deep clear well of Truth, and my lips merely the bucket that draws it
+up. Where will you get candor and veracity, those priceless pearls, if
+not from me?"
+
+"Robert, you have fallen into this way of practising your little tricks
+and deceptions on everybody. O, I know you mean no harm; it is merely
+for your own amusement. But Mabel and Jane don't quite understand it."
+
+"Couldn't you explain it to them, Clarice? Some people have no sense of
+humor. I can't well go around saying, This is a joke; please take it in
+the spirit in which it is offered."
+
+"O, it does no great harm: they are very seldom deceived, and perhaps
+they will learn to make allowances for you by and by. But you may be
+tempted to try your games on me: if I ever catch you at that--Remember,
+I am not to be trifled with."
+
+"Perish the thought, and perish the caitiff base who would harbor it.
+Princess, you are sharper than I. Do you think I would be fool enough to
+try any tricks on you, when I should be found out at once?"
+
+"People generally find you out at once, but that doesn't seem to stop
+you. How can I tell whether I can trust you? I don't believe you know
+yourself when you are serious--if you ever are."
+
+"There is one subject on which I am serious--deeply so, and always.
+Clarice, when I die, if you will see that the autopsy is properly
+performed, you will find your initials, as the poet says, neatly
+engraven on my blighted heart."
+
+"Robert, sometimes I fear you have incipient softening of the brain."
+
+"And if I have, is not that a reason why I should be watched and guarded
+tenderly--why loving arms should enfold my tottering frame, and sweet
+smiles cheer my declining path, and a strong firm brain like yours
+support my failing intellect? Clarice, be gentle with me. I am an orphan
+like yourself; soon, if you read the future aright, to be laid beneath
+the cold clods of the valley. When I am sleeping under the daisies in
+the lonely churchyard, you will say to yourself, He was my friend, my
+more than brother: he loved me with a loyal and self-oblivious devotion.
+And then, in those sad hours of vain remembrance, every unkind word that
+you have spoken, all the coldness and cruelty which have pierced my
+patient breast, will return to torture yours. Be warned in time,
+Clarice, and make it easy for me while you have the chance."
+
+"Robert, if you have a talent, it is for shirking a subject you are
+afraid of. When you go off like this, I know you are hiding something
+from me. What is it this time?"
+
+I saw things were getting serious. She was bound to get it out of me,
+and I might as well give in. "Princess, I will confess, and throw myself
+on your mercy. Strike, but hear me. It won't pay you to be cross now,
+for you've got to be with me till you conclude to take Hartman up; we
+can't be quarrelling all the time, you know. He asked me about you this
+morning; Jane had spoken of you at breakfast. I put him off with general
+remarks about your being down south last winter, and the like of that;
+then suddenly my brain slipped--it _is_ softening, you see--and I said
+you had come back when I was in the woods with him. That started him,
+and he recalled your notion of going up there."
+
+"You are sure you didn't mention it yourself? What did he say?"
+
+"Merely that he wished I had let you and Jane come. He likes Jane. Upon
+my honor now, he had no suspicion of anything."
+
+"You goose, how often have I told you there was nothing to suspect? But
+men are so coarse. Well, is that all? What else are you trying to
+conceal?"
+
+"On my soul, Princess, that's all. I explained it all right, and he was
+commencing to berate me for not preparing him to meet you as well as the
+others, when we suddenly came on you, and you struck him deaf and dumb
+and blind. He swore at me under his breath just before I introduced
+him." Here my feelings overcame me again.
+
+"Well, there's no harm done. But you really must be more careful, Bob.
+Try and make your poor mind work better while it lasts; don't forget my
+instructions again, and when you have made a blunder, tell me at once.
+You are so light, so devoted to your frivolous amusements; you seem to
+be drifting into second childhood, thirty years too soon. If you had an
+object, now, a serious purpose in life: if you really cared for
+anything--even for me!"
+
+She cuts me when she talks like that. "Clarice, my regard for you is so
+undemonstrative that you fail to appreciate its depth. If I were to make
+a fuss over it, now, and use a lot of endearing epithets and big
+professions, perhaps you would believe me. Some time you will know
+whether I care for you or not; whether I've got anything in me, and am
+capable of acting like a man. You wait and see. But I wish I knew what
+you are going to do with poor Jim."
+
+"Some time you will know: you wait and see. You can go and comfort him
+now. Good night, poor Bob."
+
+
+
+
+XI.
+
+EXPLANATIONS.
+
+
+I went and comforted him. "Well, old man," I said with a cheerful air,
+"how do you get on?"
+
+"Robert," said he, "do you suppose I would have come here if I had known
+what an atrocious humbug you are? Do you imagine for a moment that my
+relatives, if I had any, would have subjected my innocence to such
+insidious guardianship? Have you brought me here to destroy my faith,
+and pollute my morals, and poison my young life with the spectacle of
+your turpitude?"
+
+"You're improving already, Jim. When I saw you last you hadn't any
+faith, nor much morals; your youth was away back in the past, and your
+strength was dried up like railroad doughnuts; you were ready to fall
+with the first leaves of autumn. Well, since you are here, you can stay
+till you see how you like us. What do you think of Clarice?"
+
+"She has given me no basis on which to think of her, beyond her looks;
+they rather take one's breath away. You beast, what do you mean by
+springing a face like that on me without warning, after all your
+humbugging talk last night, pretending to post me on every one I was to
+meet? And I say, do you always stand guard over her when anybody comes
+near?"
+
+"Well, you see, you were so overcome by the first sight of her this
+morning, that it seemed no more than fair to let you recover your
+breath, as you say, and get used to her by degrees. But, James, this is
+unseemly levity on your part. What have we to do with girls? Let us
+leave them to the baser spirits who have use for them. The world's a
+bubble, and the life of man of no account at all. We have tried it, and
+it is empty; hark, it sounds. Vain pomp and glory of it all, we hate ye.
+Ye tinsel gauds, ye base embroideries, ye female fripperies, have but
+our scorn. What are flashing eyes, and tossing ringlets, and rosy lips,
+and jewelled fingers, to minds like ours? Let us go off to the Nitrian
+desert, Jim, away from this eternal simper, this harrowing routine."
+
+"You must have been reading up lately, my boy. I left all that in the
+woods, Bob, and came down here in good faith for a change of air,
+prepared to learn anything you might have to teach me. If you've got any
+more traps and masked batteries, let them loose on me; practice on me to
+your heart's content. You've undertaken to convert me, and I'm here to
+give you a chance: a fine old apostle you are. But I don't quite
+understand Miss Elliston's position here, Bob."
+
+"Her position here, or anywhere else, is that she does about as she
+pleases, and makes everybody else do it too, as you will see before your
+hair is gray, my learned friend. As I may have told you, we are her
+nearest relatives: she is an orphan."
+
+"Parents been dead long?"
+
+"About seventeen years. What's that got to do with it?"
+
+"O, not much; don't be so suspicious. Do you think I'm trying to play
+some trick on you, after your model? How should I, a helpless stranger
+in a strange land, betrayed by the friend in whom I trusted? I'm an
+orphan myself too. So that Miss Elliston is in a measure dependent on
+your kindness?"
+
+"O, don't fancy that she's a poor relation, or anything of that sort.
+She's got more cash than she wants, and loads of friends: had twenty
+invitations for the summer. If you don't behave to suit her, she's
+liable to go off any day to Bar Harbor, or Saratoga, or the Yosemite, or
+Kamtchatka."
+
+"Very good of her, to stay here with you, then."
+
+"Well, Mabel is deeply attached to her; so is Jane, and the children of
+course. Her parents and mine were close friends in the country--where I
+came from, you know. She and I were brought up together; that is, she
+was--I was mostly brought up before her appearance on this mundane
+sphere. We used to play in the haymow, and fall from the apple trees
+together, and all that. O, Clarice is quite a sister to me--a pretty
+good sister too, all things considered."
+
+"And you are quite a brother to her, as I see. Strange, that it never
+occurred to mention her, when you were describing the various members of
+your family. Does her mind match her personal attractions?"
+
+"She's got as good a head as you have, old man, or any other male
+specimen I've struck. I myself meet her on almost equal terms. O, hang
+that; I don't either. This is no subject for profane jesting. Talk about
+the inferiority of women! If the moralists and stump-speakers had one
+like her at home, they'd change their tune. But there are no more like
+her."
+
+"You speak warmly, Bob. To Clarice every virtue under heaven. Beautiful,
+brilliant, accomplished, amiable; you are a happy man to have such an
+annex to your household--even if she wasn't worth naming at the start."
+
+"Amiable--who said she was amiable? Leave that to commonplace women and
+plain everyday fellows like me. You can't expect that of her sort, Jim.
+She can be very nice when she pleases. I suppose she has a heart; it has
+never waked up yet. When it does, it will be a big one. We don't expect
+the plebeian virtues of her."
+
+"She has a conscience, I hope? If not, it might be better to go away,
+and stay away. You ought not to keep dangerous compounds about the
+house, Bob."
+
+"She won't explode--though others may. A conscience? I think so. She
+couldn't do a mean thing. She keeps a promise: she has more sense of
+justice than most women. But you can't apply ordinary rules to her. She
+is of the blood royal: the Princess, we call her. Can't you see, Jim?
+You are man enough to take her measure, so far as any one can."
+
+"I see her outside; it is worth coming here to see, if I were an artist
+or an aesthete. She has deigned to show me no more as yet."
+
+"It is all of a piece: the rest matches that, as you will see in time.
+There is but one Clarice."
+
+"Bob, you are different from last night. I believe you are telling the
+truth now."
+
+"She sobers you. When you have been with her, when you think of her, it
+is as if you were in church--only a good deal more so."
+
+"Very convenient and edifying, to have such a private chapel in one's
+house. Bob, in this mood I can trust you. Tell me one thing: why did you
+never mention her to me?"
+
+"She doesn't wish me to talk of her to strangers."
+
+"And now the prohibition is removed?"
+
+"You are not a stranger now. She knows you, and you have seen her."
+
+"Well, you are loyal. Does she appreciate such fidelity?"
+
+"We are very good friends. From childhood we have been more together
+than most brothers and sisters. More or less, I have always been to her
+as I am now. She is used to me. I do not ask too much of her. Don't
+fancy that I am in her confidence, or any one: she has a royal reserve.
+See here, Jim; I am making you one of the family."
+
+"I understand. I must ask you one thing: why did you bring me here, to
+expose me to all this?"
+
+"You needed a change, Jim, as you half owned just now; almost any change
+would be for the better. I wanted you to see the world again: there is
+in it nothing fairer or richer than Clarice."
+
+"You go on as if she were a saint; and yet you say she's not."
+
+"You can answer that yourself, Jim. She's far from it: you and I are not
+saint-worshippers. But she has it in her to be a saint, if her attention
+and her latent force were turned that way. She can be anything, or do
+anything. She hasn't found her life yet. She bides her time, and I wait
+with her. Her wings will sprout some day. I like her well enough as she
+is."
+
+"Evidently. Do you know, old man, that you are talking very freely?"
+
+"Am I the first? or do you suppose I would say all this to any chance
+comer? You opened your soul to me in May, as far as you knew it: you are
+welcome to see into mine now."
+
+"There is a difference. I cared for nothing, and believed in nothing; so
+my soul was worth little. Yours is that of a prosperous and happy man."
+
+"Externals are not the measure of the soul, Jim, nor yet creeds. I know
+a gentleman when I see him, and so do you. Your soul will get its food
+yet, and assume its full stature; you've been trying to starve it
+partly, that's all."
+
+"Do you talk this way to your Princess, Bob?"
+
+"No. She is younger than we: why should I bore her? You and I are on
+equal terms: she and I are not."
+
+"This humility is very chivalric, but I don't quite understand it in
+you, Bob."
+
+"You can't: you've been so long unused to women, and you never knew one
+like her. If you had, it would have been too early; what does a boy of
+twenty know of himself, or of the girls he thinks he is in love with, or
+of the true relations that should exist between him and them? Call it
+quixotic if you like; I don't mind. Any gentleman, that is, any
+spiritual man, has it in him to be a Quixote. When you come to know
+Clarice, you will understand."
+
+"Do you call yourself and me spiritual men, Bob?"
+
+"Yes; why not? Spirituality does not depend on the opinions one chances
+to hold, but on the view he takes of his own part in Life, and on the
+inherent nature of his soul. We are not worshippers of mammon, or
+fashion, or any of the idols of the tribe. I live in the world, and you
+out of it; but that makes little difference. You were in danger of
+becoming a dogmatist, but you are too much of a man for that. We both
+live to learn, and we can spend ourselves on an adequate object when we
+find it."
+
+"Bob, if you don't talk to her like this, she doesn't know you as I do."
+
+"No human being knows another exactly as a third does. We strike fire at
+different points--when we do at all, which is seldom--and show different
+sides of ourselves to such few as can see at all. She does not care
+especially for me: why should she? But she has great penetration--more
+than you have, far more than I. She sees my follies and faults as you
+don't; she is a sort of a confessor. At present she is a Sunday-school
+teacher, and I am her class."
+
+"What _do_ you talk of, all the time?"
+
+"It's not all the time, by any means. That is as she pleases; just now
+it may be a good deal. By and by it may be your turn: then you'll know
+some things you don't now. There is nothing I say to her which the world
+might not overhear, if the world could understand it; and nothing that I
+can repeat. Jim, I am done: we are up very late."
+
+"Two things I must say yet, or ask, old man. You would stand by this
+girl against the world; and yet you have charged yourself with me. It
+may be idle to formulate remote and improbable contingencies, but it is
+in our line. Would you take her part against me, and be my enemy--you
+who are my only friend?"
+
+"I would stand by her against the world, assuredly. I would stand by you
+against all the world but her, I think. You two might quarrel, but
+neither of you would be wrong: I know you both, and you don't know each
+other. So I take the risk; it is none. When that time comes, neither of
+you will find me wanting."
+
+"I believe it. The other thing is this--forgive me if I go too far. Do
+you know what even intelligent and charitable people would say of all
+this? That it was very queer, very mixed, very dubious."
+
+"They are not our judges, nor we theirs. What would they say of your
+theories, and your way of life? To be sure, these concern yourself
+alone. So is this inwardly my affair; it binds, it holds no other. Must
+a man live in the woods, to form his own ethical code? Here too one may
+keep clean hands and a pure heart, and do his own thinking. Life is very
+queer, very mixed, very dubious; I take it as it comes. O, I see truth
+here and there in your notions of it, though it has done well by me. If
+I find in it something unique and precious, shall I thrust that aside,
+because the statutes have not provided for such a case? But one thing I
+can reject, so that for me it is not: the baser element. Gross
+selfishness and vulgar passions are no more in my scheme than in yours:
+if their suggestions were to rise, it would be easy to disown them. The
+human beasts who let their lower nature rule, the animals who care for
+themselves and call it caring for another, are not of our society. O
+yes, in common things one must get and keep his own--the body must have
+its food; but one's private temple is kept for worship, and owns a
+different law. It is not always, nor often, that one can build his
+shrine on earth, and enter it every day: when a man has that exceptional
+privilege, he must and may keep his standards high enough to fit. You
+understand?"
+
+"I do: I am learning. I knew all this in theory, but supposed it ended
+there. And your Princess, you think is of our society?"
+
+"No root of nobleness is lacking in her; when the season comes, the
+plants will spring and the garden bloom. But we cannot expect to
+understand her fully; she is of finer clay than we."
+
+"One thing more, and then I will let you go. There is more of you than I
+thought, my boy. In May I knew you had a heart; but one who heard you in
+the woods would have set you down just for a kindly, practical man of
+the world. Last night, and most of the time to-day, you were the
+trifler, the incorrigible jester. Why do you belie yourself so and hide
+your inmost self from all but me?"
+
+"Because I've got to convert you, old man. It is a poor instrument that
+has but a single string; and David's harp of solemn sound would bore me
+as much as it would other folks, if I tried to play on it all the time.
+How many people would sit out this talk of ours, or read it if we put it
+in print? Taken all in all, the light fantastic measure suits me much
+better. To see all sides, we must take all tones. The varying moods
+within fit the varying facts without; to get at truth we must give each
+its turn. But in the main it is best to take Life lightly. Your error
+was that you were too serious about it: it's not worth that. Most things
+are chiefly fit to laugh at. The highgrand style will do once in a way:
+we've worked it too hard now. Let's come down to earth. I wanted to show
+you that I could do the legitimate drama as well as you, and yet wear a
+tall hat and dress for dinner. See?"
+
+"That's all very well, Bob, but I can discriminate between your
+seriousness and your farce. Perhaps it is well to mix them, or to take
+them as they are mixed for us. You may be right in that; I'll think it
+over. Yes, I can see now that Heraclitus overdoes it, and that I used
+to. Well, my lad, you are a queer professor of ethics; but I'm not sure
+you've brought me to the wrong school."
+
+
+
+
+XII.
+
+AWAKENING.
+
+
+The next day Clarice took me off as usual. "Well, have you made any more
+blunders?"
+
+"Not one. You have nothing to reproach me with this time, Czarina."
+
+"You kept Mr. Hartman up dreadfully late. What were you talking about so
+long?"
+
+"O, he is prepared to find you wonderful, and to come to time whenever
+you want him. I told him your wings weren't grown yet: you were the
+Sleeping Beauty in the Enchanted Palace; the hour and the man hadn't
+arrived. You dwelt in maiden meditation, and the rest of it."
+
+"You did not cheapen me, surely, Robert?"
+
+"God forbid: do I hold you cheap, that I should rate you so to others?
+He may tell you every word I said, when you begin to turn him inside
+out; there was none of it that you or I need be ashamed of. He knows,
+both by his own observation and from my clear and impressive narrative,
+that you are remote and inaccessible--the edelweiss growing high up in
+its solitude, where only the daring and the elect can find its haunt."
+
+"That is very neat. Did it take you three hours to tell him that? I
+heard you come in as it struck two."
+
+"Too bad to disturb your slumbers, Princess: we will take our boots off
+outside, next time. Naturally you were the most important topic we could
+discuss; but I also explained his advantages in being thrown so much
+into my own society. O, he is getting on. He said--"
+
+"I don't want to know what he said. The man is here, and I can see--and
+hear, when I choose--for myself. Do you think I would tempt you to
+violate what might be a confidence, Robert?"
+
+"But if I repeat to you what I said, why not what he said?--except that
+his observations would not be so powerful and suggestive as mine, of
+course. Otherwise I don't see the difference."
+
+"Now that is stupid, Bob. The difference is that you belong to me, and
+he doesn't--as yet."
+
+I can't tell you how she says these things. If I could put on paper the
+tone, the toss of that lovely head, the smile, the sparkle of eyes and
+lips, that go with what you might call these little audacities, then you
+would know how they not only accent and punctuate the text, but supply
+whole commentaries on it. If you get a notion that the Princess is
+capable of boldness, or vulgar coquetry, or any of the faults of her sex
+or of ours, you are away off the track, and my engineering must have
+gone wrong. But I must stop this and get back to my report.
+
+"One thing I must repeat, Princess. I got off a lot of wisdom for Jim's
+benefit. You wouldn't think how wise it was; deep principles of human
+nature, and rules for the conduct of life, and such. It did him no end
+of good: and then he said that if I didn't talk to you that way, you
+couldn't know me as well as he does."
+
+"He must know you remarkably well then. Just like a man's conceit. Poor
+Bob, who should know you through and through if I don't?--Why don't you
+talk to me that way then, and improve me too?"
+
+"As the Scotchwoman said when they asked her if she understood the
+sermon, Wad I hae the presumption? When you catch me taking on airs and
+trying to improve you, make a note of it. No, no, Princess dear; the
+lecturing and improving between us had better remain where they are."
+
+"But, Robert, perhaps I would like to have you vary this continual
+incense-burning with snatches of something else."
+
+"I dare say. Do you know, Clarice, sometimes I think I am an awful fool
+about you."
+
+"That is what the doctors call a congenital infirmity, my dear. No use
+lamenting over what you can't help. Worship me as much as you like; it
+keeps you out of mischief. But you might change the tune now and then,
+and give me some of your alleged wisdom."
+
+"Shall I becloud that pure and youthful brow with metaphysic fumes?
+Should I soil your dainty muslins with the antique dust of folios, and
+oil from the midnight lamp? You wait till you take up Hartman; perhaps
+you can stand it from him. But if I were to hold forth to you in the
+style he prefers, you would get sick of me in twenty minutes. Let it
+suffice that my lonely vigils are spent in severe studies and profound
+meditations, the fruit whereof, in a somewhat indirect and roundabout
+way, may make smooth and safe the path that is traversed by your fairy
+feet. In the expressive language of the poet, Be happy; tend thy
+flowers; be tended by my blessing."
+
+"I know about your lonely vigils, Bob; they are spent on cigars, and
+making up jokes to use next morning. But you are not as bad as usual
+to-day. Do you know, I like you better when you are comparatively
+serious."
+
+"Then let me be ever thus, my Queen! It is the solemnizing influence of
+being so much with you. If you keep it up for another week, you'll have
+to send me off to New York to get secularized. I say, Clarice, how long
+do you mean to go on in this way? It's all very nice for me, but how
+about Hartman? _He's_ not frivolous; he takes Life in awful earnest.
+What do you propose to do with him after you've got him--I should say,
+after the fatal dart has transfixed his manly form, and he falls pierced
+and bleeding at your feet?"
+
+"My dear child, let me tell you a pretty little tale. Once upon a time
+there was a friend of mine, who thought a good deal of me, and of whom I
+thought more than he knew, poor man--enough to make you jealous,
+Bob."--Now who the devil was that, confound him? I never heard of him
+before. It must have been that winter she spent in Boston, just after
+she came out. That's over five years ago; he's probably dead or married
+before this. Well, get on with your pretty little tale: not that I see
+much prettiness about it.--"And when I would tease him to tell me some
+secret, he would answer, in his own well-chosen language. Some day you
+will know: you wait and see. By-by, baby!"--and away she dashed.
+
+My tongue went too fast last night. Her heart _is_ waking; her wings are
+sprouting. She must be getting interested in Jim. The hour is at hand,
+and the man: the horn at the castle-gate will soon be sounded, and
+presto! the transformation scene. That will be a spectacle for gods and
+men, now; but no tickets will be sold at the doors--admittance only by
+private card, and that to a very select few. I don't want any change in
+you, Princess; but I suppose the angels would like to see the depths in
+you that you haven't sounded, the fairer and wider chambers of your soul
+opened to the light. God grant that light may need no darkness to come
+before it, no storm-tossed, doubtful daybreak. If the change is for
+your happiness, no matter about us. You are moving toward a land where I
+cannot follow you; a land of mystery and wonder and awakening, of new
+beauties and glories and perils, and possibilities unknown and
+infinite--a journey wherein you can have no guide but your own pure
+instincts, no adviser but your own untried heart. God be with you, for
+Jane and Mabel can do no more than I. We shall hear no word from you
+till all be over, and then the Clarice of old will return to us no more.
+Transfigured she may be and beatified, but not the one we knew and loved
+so long. Little sister, all these years I have been at your side or
+ready at your call, and now you will not call and I cannot come to help
+you; for in these matters the heart knoweth its own bitterness, and a
+stranger doth not intermeddle with its joy. May it be joy and not the
+other! God be with them both, for it is a dangerous country where they
+are going; a region of mists and pitfalls and morasses, where closest
+friends may be rudely severed, and those whom Heaven hath joined be put
+asunder by their own most innocent errors--and the finest spirits run
+the heaviest risk. Ah well, if I were the Grand Duke of Gerolstein,
+maybe things would be better managed in my dominions.
+
+
+
+
+XIII.
+
+DOMESTIC CRITICISMS.
+
+
+Hartman has made a first-rate impression here. It would please you to
+see this stern ascetic, this despiser of Life and Humanity, with two
+toddlers on his lap, and Herbert at his knee, all listening open-mouthed
+to tales of the animal and vegetable kingdoms. The boy thinks that one
+who lives in the woods must be a great hunter, and clamors for bears and
+wildcats: Jane, in her usual unfeeling way, insists that I put him up to
+this. But though I am a family man--and you could not easily find one
+more exemplary--I do not propose to drag the nursery into the cold glare
+of public comment, or favor you with a chapter on the Management of
+Children.
+
+I would like to know why it is that women are so ready to take up with
+any chance stranger who comes along, when they cannot see the true
+greatness of their own nearest and dearest. Mabel pronounces Hartman a
+perfect gentleman and a safe companion for me; as if it were I, not he,
+that needed looking after. Jane seems to regard him as the rock which
+withstands the tempest, the oak round which the vine may safely cling,
+and that sort of thing. He is a good-looking fellow yet, and he has a
+stalwart kind of bearing, adapted to deceive persons who do not know him
+as well as I do. They would almost side with him against Clarice--but
+not quite: in their hearts, they think her perfect.
+
+One evening we were all together in the parlor. The Princess had gone
+somewhere with one of her numerous adorers, whom she had failed to bluff
+off as she generally does: the young man was going to cast himself into
+the sea, I believe, and I told her she had better let him and be done
+with it, but she said he had a widowed mother and several sisters, and
+ought to live long enough to leave them comfortably provided for; so I
+let her go. I was trying to direct the conversation into improving
+channels, but the frivolous female mind is too much for me.
+
+"Mr. Hartman," Jane began, "we rely on you to exercise a good influence
+upon Robert. He is so light-minded, and so deceitful."
+
+"Yes," Mabel added; "no one can restrain him but Clarice, and she
+cannot spend her whole time upon him, she has so much else to do."
+
+"See here," said I; "this is a put-up job: I will have you all indicted
+for conspiracy. Have you no proper respect for the head of the house?"
+
+"We would like to," my spouse replied: "we make every effort: but it is
+so difficult! Mr. Hartman, he wants to manage every little matter,
+particularly those which pertain exclusively to women, and which he
+cannot understand at all."
+
+"Yes," said Jane; "would you believe it, Mr. Hartman, he attempted to
+instruct us as to the proper manner of receiving you! But that is not
+the worst of it. He is utterly unable to keep a secret--not that any one
+would entrust him with secrets of the least importance, of course. And
+when he thinks he knows something that we do not know, he goes about
+looking so solemn that even Herbert can detect him at once. And in such
+cases he actually comes to us, and questions us about the matter, with a
+view to throwing us off the scent, and keeping dark, as he calls it. Did
+you ever hear of such absurdity?"
+
+"Ladies and gentleman," I said with dignity, "would you mind excusing me
+for a few moments? I would like to retire to the rocks outside, and
+swear a bit."
+
+"Robert!" my wife cried, "I am ashamed of you. What will Mr. Hartman
+think of your morals?" You see, they think Jim is a very correct young
+man.
+
+"O, I know him of old," he said. "Never mind, Bob, I will stand by you.
+Really, you are a little hard on him. He has improved; I assure you he
+has. Why, he was quite a cub at college. Your softening influences have
+done a great deal for him; everything, in fact."
+
+"It is very nice in you to say so, Mr. Hartman, and very polite, and
+very loyal; but I know Robert. Clarice does him a little good: she would
+do very much more, if he were not so stiff-necked. He thinks he is a
+man, and we are only women."
+
+"Well," I asked, "are you going to dispute that proposition? If so, I
+will leave Hartman to argue it out with you."
+
+"Mr. Hartman," said Jane, "he thinks he knows everything, and women are
+inferior creatures. O, such a superior being as he is!"
+
+"This is getting monotonous," I remarked. "Suppose, for a change, we
+abuse Clarice, as she is not here; that will be pleasanter all round,
+and less unconventional. Now that girl does a great deal of harm,
+turning the heads of so many foolish young men. She spends more on her
+dress than you and I do together, Hartman. What an aim in life for a
+rational being! Simply to look pretty, and produce an occasional piece
+of perfectly idle and useless embroidery: tidies even, now and
+then--just think of it! Of all the--"
+
+My wife stopped me here, and I was glad of it, for I really did not know
+what to say next.
+
+"You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Robert. To speak in that way of my
+cousin, and your own adopted sister! Don't believe a word of it, Mr.
+Hartman. She is sweet girl, though reserved with strangers: I am sorry
+you have seen so little of her. A high-minded, pure-hearted, dear,
+sweet, lovely girl; she is, and you know it, Robert." Well, perhaps I
+do; but there is no need of my saying so just now. Jane has to put in
+her oar again, of course.
+
+"Yes, Mr. Hartman, and that is a sample of his hypocrisy. He thinks as
+highly of Clarice as we do, and is almost as fond of her; and yet he
+pretends to criticize her, just to draw away attention from his own
+shortcomings."
+
+"Well, let's drop Clarice then, and go on discussing the present
+company, if you insist. We'll take them up one by one: I've had my
+turn, and my native modesty shrinks from further praise. You see Mrs.
+T., Hartman? She sits there looking so calm and placid, like a mother in
+Israel; you would think her a model spouse. Yet no one knows what I
+suffer. Mabel, I had not been with him ten minutes last May when he
+noticed my premature baldness, and general fagged-out and jaded look;
+and to hide the secrets of my prison-house, I had to pretend that I had
+been working too hard in Water Street. You all know how painful
+deception is to my candid nature; but I did it for your sake, Mabel.
+When did I ever return aught but good for evil? Yet O, the curtain
+lectures, the manifold ways in which the iron has entered into my soul!
+But we brought Hartman here to reconcile him to civilized and domestic
+life, and I will say no more. Now there is Jane. She naturally puts her
+best foot foremost in company; you think she is all she seems: but I
+could a tale unfold. Now mark my magnanimity: I won't do it. She is my
+sister, and with all her faults I love her still. Well, if you are tired
+you'd better go to bed: Hartman wants to smoke."
+
+
+
+
+XIV.
+
+OVER TWO CIGARS.
+
+
+When we got out under the pure breezes of heaven, Hartman turned to me
+and said, "So you call this reconciling me to domestic life, do you?"
+
+"Well, I want you to see things as they are. They are not as bad as your
+fancy used to paint them, or as a duller man might suppose from recent
+appearances. Women haven't our sense of humor, Jim: their humble
+efforts at jocosity are apt to be exaggerated, or flat--generally both;
+but they mean no harm."
+
+"Well, Bob, your preparations to instruct my ignorance are highly
+successful. All this is as good as a play. You see you are found out,
+old humbug; everybody sees through you. You can't delude any of us any
+more."
+
+"I don't quite see what you're driving at, my christian friend; but I'm
+glad you like us, and I hope you'll like us better before you are done
+with us." When he talks like this, I am content to see the hand of Fate
+snatch at his scalp, as it will before long. Gibe on, ungrateful mocker:
+retribution will soon overtake you in your mad career. Where then will
+be your gibes, your quips, your quiddities? You'll want my sympathy by
+and by, and I'll see about giving it.
+
+"You needn't be so much cast down, Bob. Perhaps you are building me up
+better than you know. Your struggles with your womankind give a flavor
+to what I used to suppose must be insipid. You are pretty well satisfied
+with each other, or you wouldn't pretend to quarrel so. What I saw of
+you before did something toward reconciling me to human nature at large,
+and your quaint efforts at shrewdness and finesse set off your real
+character. You might take in outsiders, but not me."
+
+"This is too much, my friend--a blanked sight too much. Crushed to earth
+by such unmerited compliments, I can only repeat my gratification that
+we meet with your approval. You settle down, and you'll see how insipid
+it is: then you'll be making some quaint efforts at shrewdness and
+finesse yourself. Invite me then, and I'll get even with you, old man.
+But I say, what did you mean about my being a cub at college?"
+
+"Well, you were, you know. Barmaids and ballet-dancers, and that sort of
+thing."
+
+"Confound you, Hartman, what do you go bringing them up for? There was
+only one of each, or thereabouts, and they were generally old enough to
+be my mothers. I was but a child, Jim--a guileless, merry, high-hearted
+boy, and innocent as the lamb unshorn."
+
+"You were that, and the shearing did you a lot of good. O, you can be
+easy; I'll not bring up the sins of your youth."
+
+"They were no sins, only follies. I had my early Pendennis stage, of
+course, and invested every woman I met with the hues of imagination. But
+Mabel and the girls might not understand that."
+
+"I don't think they would. Happily, it is not necessary they should try
+to, since you have returned to the path of rectitude. Do you think you
+belonged to Our Society in those days, Bob?"
+
+"Yes, sir: I did, in embryo. I had it in me to develop into the ornament
+of our species you behold at present. That's all a boy is good for,
+anyway. He thinks he's somebody, but he isn't. He doesn't amount to
+anything, except in the fond hopes of his anxious parents. He knows
+nothing, and he can do nothing, except learn by his blunders; and some
+of 'em can't do that. But if he has any stuff in him, he grows and
+ripens with time, as you and I did. What bosh, to put the prime of life
+at twenty-five. They ought to move it on a bit; about our age, now, a
+man ought to be at his best."
+
+"I don't know, Bob. I was an egregious ass at twenty-five, and I'm not
+sure I'm any better now."
+
+"Then there's hope of you, my boy. But one must go on getting
+experience. You shut the door too soon and too tight, Jim."
+
+"When I had it open, such an infernal stench and dust came in, that it
+seemed best to close it. But it's open again now, partly, and this seems
+a healthier and cleaner atmosphere."
+
+"You'll come out all right, Jim; and when you do, you won't seem to have
+been altogether wrong all these years. You've kept yourself unspotted
+from the world, more than most of us; and when you come to know a girl
+like Clarice, you'll want the most and best of you, to be fit for her
+society. If only one could get the general ripening without some of the
+dashed details of the process! She makes you wish you could have been
+brought up in a bandbox, if only you could have come out of it a man and
+not a mollycoddle."
+
+"Only 'men-maidens in their purity' are worthy to approach her, no
+doubt. Apparently I am not. I'll have to be content with your account of
+Miss Elliston's perfections, Robert. She seems to have no more use for
+me than the Texans for the Sheriff. But I am doing very nicely, thanks
+to your sister. I doubt if you appreciate Miss Jane, Bob. She sees
+further into things than you do. She impresses me as a sound-hearted
+woman, wise, kind, and gracious."
+
+"Yes, and so sisterly and appreciative. O yes, such a superior person as
+she is! But see here, Jim; that's not what you're here for. Jane is all
+very well in her way, but----"
+
+He turned on me suddenly. "What the deuce do you mean now?"
+
+By Jove, now I've done it: he's got me in a corner.--You just wait and
+see me get out of it. "O well, Jim, I speak only by general analogy, of
+course. I am not in the Princess's confidence, as I told you. I might be
+if any one were, but nobody can see into her mind further than she
+chooses to let them, and that is but a very little way. It would be a
+fine sight, no doubt; but she has the reticence of a--well, of an angel
+probably; exceptionally delicate and sensitive nature, and all that, you
+know. It's not her way to let a good thing go by unnoticed, and she is
+quite able to appreciate you. Your time is not up yet: you're likely to
+see more of her before you go--at least, I should suppose so."
+
+"Well, I am here to see things, as you say, and I may as well see
+whatever is to be shown me. I am in your hands, old man; make as good a
+job of it as you can before you send me back to the woods."
+
+It is all very well for him to talk lightly on solemn subjects; he'll
+change his tone by and by. I have prepared his mind now, as I prepared
+the others before he came. Perhaps I ought to have done it sooner;
+perhaps the Princess has been waiting for that. She'll know, without my
+telling her; she'll see it in his eye.--Nonsense, Robert T.; your zeal
+outruns your discretion. What does she want of your help in a thing like
+this? Anyway, he's ready to be operated on, and it seems about time she
+began to put in her work.
+
+
+
+
+XV.
+
+THE CATASTROPHE.
+
+
+This miscellaneous entertainment, as I have remarked, lasted for about a
+week: then suddenly the situation changed. I can't tell you how it was
+done, though I was looking on all the time; but one evening I found
+myself with Jane, and Hartman had gone off with the Princess. We were
+all ready to play to her lead, no doubt; but it would have made no
+difference if it had been otherwise: when she ordains a thing, that
+thing is done, and without her taking any pains about it either, so far
+as you can see. I think the predestined victim was pleased and flattered
+to have the sacrificial chapter placed upon his head, so to speak; he
+ought to have been, at any rate.
+
+"Jane," I said, "what do you suppose Clarice is up to now?"
+
+"Robert," said she, "I thought I had given you a lesson about practising
+your absurd hypocrisies on me. Who should know what her plans are, if
+not you? If you really are not in her confidence--and it would not be
+far, certainly--surely you know Clarice well enough not to interfere.
+Let them alone, and keep quiet." That is the way they always talk to me:
+I wish they would find something new to say.
+
+Things went on in this fashion for another week or more. It was all very
+quiet: there was really nothing to see. What they talked about I don't
+know; when the rest of us were by, their conversation was not notable. I
+can make more original and forcible remarks myself; in fact, I do, every
+day. But I have no doubt she catechized and cross-examined him in
+private. It is not Hartman's way to air his theories before ladies, or
+to obtrude himself as a topic of discussion; but the Princess, when she
+condescends to notice a man at all, likes to see a good deal further
+into his soul than he ever gets to see into hers. That is all right in
+this case; the doctor has to be acquainted with the symptoms before he
+can cure the patient. When Hartman and I were together at the end of the
+evenings and at odd hours, he had very little to say: he seemed rather
+preoccupied and introspective. He is another of your plaguedly reserved
+people, who when they have anything on hand wrap it up in Egyptian
+darkness and Cimmerian gloom. That is the correct thing in a woman--in
+Clarice at least: in a man I don't like it. My soul, now, is as open as
+the day, and when I have struck any new ideas or discoveries, I would
+willingly stand on a house-top--if it were flat--and proclaim them for
+the benefit of the world. Even my uncompleted processes of thought are
+at the service of any one who can appreciate them; but you can't expect
+everybody to be like me. Most men are selfish, narrowly engrossed in
+their small private concerns--no generous public spirit about them. But
+then Hartman is not used to this kind of thing, and I suppose it knocks
+the wind out of him.
+
+One evening I was by myself in the shrubbery; it was just dark, but
+there was a tidy young moon. I wanted to smoke a pipe for a change, and
+so had gone to the most secluded place I could find, for if Mabel were
+to hear of this, Hartman might not get reconciled to domestic life. I
+sat there, meditating on the uncertainty of human affairs: it would do
+you more good than a little to know what thoughts passed through my
+mind, but there is no time to go into that. Suddenly two forms came in
+sight. One was of manly dignity, the other of willowy grace. His frame
+towered like the noble oak on the hilltop, while hers--but we have had
+the oak and the vine before, and worked them for all they are worth.
+Perhaps I ought to have given you a more particular account of the
+appearance of these two young persons: but you don't care to know their
+exact height and fighting weight, the color of their hair and eyes, and
+so forth; what you want is the stature and complexion of their souls.
+They were a handsome pair, and whene'er they took their walks and drives
+abroad like Dr. Watts, they attracted much attention. Just now there was
+nobody but myself to admire them, and I was in ambush. They strolled
+about in what there was of the moonlight, seeming much absorbed, and I
+sat still in the shade, and put down my pipe: I couldn't hear their
+talk, and didn't want to disturb them. Suddenly he raised his voice:
+matters between them must have come to an interesting stage. "But,
+Clarice, if you care for me--"
+
+He was too quick. The madness which urged him on can easily be
+understood and--except by the one concerned--pardoned; but what devil
+possessed her, who shall say? She drew herself up with superb scorn.
+"You are beginning at the wrong end, Sir. 'If I care for you!' Why
+should I?"
+
+"Very good," he said at once. "I was mistaken. I beg your pardon most
+humbly."
+
+There was as little humility as possible in his look and tone. He stood
+like a gladiator--and not a wounded one either--with his head thrown
+back and his chest out. I could fancy, rather than see, the flashing of
+his eyes.
+
+The flashes were all on his side now; Clarice's brief exhibition of
+fireworks seemed to be over, and she was drooping. "Mr. Hartman," she
+began, and could get no further.
+
+In the act to go, he turned and faced her again.
+
+"Miss Elliston, my presumption was doubtless unpardonable; I shall not
+know how to forgive myself. Do me the undeserved honor, if you can, to
+forget it--and me. I can only renew my apologies, and relieve you of my
+presence."
+
+He bowed, and was gone. The proper thing for Clarice to do next was to
+swoon or shriek; but I knew her too well to expect anything of that
+sort. Nor did she tear her hair, or beat her breast, or offer to the
+solitary spectator any performance worth noting. I thought it best to
+keep remarkably quiet in my corner till she too had gone. In fact, I
+staid there for an hour or two after, though I did not enjoy that pipe
+at all; the tobacco was not right, or something. You see, after all the
+lectures I had had, I did not want to spoil things by mixing myself up
+with them; the situation looked picturesque enough without me in it.
+
+When I went back to the house I found that Jim had caught the boat and
+gone. "He came to me," said Mabel, "and told me that he had overstaid
+his time and found it best to go to-night. He was very friendly, but his
+tone did not encourage questioning or remonstrance. His parting with
+Jane was almost affectionate, and he left kind regards for you. But not
+a word for Clarice."
+
+"Great Jackson! what is the matter with them?" I often use what my wife
+considers profane language when I have something to hide.
+
+It had its effect this time. "Robert, be quiet. It is all right. When
+there is anything for you to know, you shall know it."
+
+She sometimes appears to mistake me for our eldest boy. But I was glad
+to get off with the secret. Yes, there is something to know, my lady,
+and I know it, though you don't. But I fear it is a long way from all
+right.
+
+
+
+
+XVI.
+
+FEMININE COUNSELS.
+
+
+After this there was general gloom about the place, and I preferred to
+spend much of the time in New York. But whenever I got there, this
+confounded business would drive me back: Clarice might want me. Nobody
+dared question her, till one day at lunch Herbert spoke up. "Mamma, why
+doesn't Mr. Hartman come back? Cousin Clarice, what have you done to
+him?" He was promptly suppressed, and the Princess froze his infant
+veins with a stony stare, while Jane and I looked hard at our plates.
+But later that day I came upon Clarice and the child together: he was
+locked in her arms, and begging her not to cry. They did not see me, and
+I retired in good order.
+
+Within a week came a short note from Jim: apologies for leaving without
+saying good-bye to me, appreciation of our kindness, regards to my wife
+and sister--and not a word of Clarice. I took it to Mabel, of course.
+
+"Be very careful how you answer this now, Robert."
+
+"How will this do? 'Dear Jim, sorry you went off in such a hurry; but
+after my performance in May I have no right to find fault. We all miss
+you, I think: the house has grown dull. Herbert continues to fall over
+the banisters, and at intervals over the rocks: at all hours, but
+especially when laid up for repairs, he howls for you and bear-stories.
+Our kindest regards. Keep us posted.' That's about it, eh?"
+
+"Ye-es: you can't ask him to come back, and you can't mention Clarice;
+so you can say no more, and I don't like you to say any less. That is
+very well--for you, Robert; though you need not be so unfeeling about
+your own son."
+
+It is well occasionally to consult your womankind in such cases,
+because, though they may not know as much of the facts as you do, still
+they can sometimes give you an inner light on points you would not have
+thought of. Besides, it compliments and encourages them; whereas, if you
+appeared to pay no regard to their opinions, they would naturally feel
+neglected. A little judicious indirect flattery is of great use in
+managing one's household. So I put on my best air of injured innocence.
+
+"Mabel, I wish you could tell me what is the matter. Here my guest
+leaves my house suddenly, without a word of explanation. Herbert must be
+right: what has Clarice done to him?"
+
+"Robert, I told you that all was well; at least I trust it will be,
+though it may not seem so now. The leaven is working; leave it to Time.
+Above all, don't meddle; ask no questions; leave the matter to those who
+understand it."
+
+Now does she mean herself and Jane by that, or only Clarice and Hartman?
+I wonder if she thinks that I think that she knows anything about it.
+If she did, I should catch some sign of it. I tried my sister.
+
+"Jane, don't fly at me now, please. I am in trouble."
+
+"So are we all, brother. Trouble not of our own making--most of us."
+
+"Well then, what does all this secrecy mean? Has Clarice spoken to you?
+What does Mabel know?"
+
+"She knows no more than you and I, brother. Something has happened: any
+one may suspect what it is, but Clarice will not tell. I love and
+respect her too much to ask: so does Mabel; and so, I hope, do you."
+
+"Well, it's confounded hard lines, Jane, to have these things happening
+in your own house, and such a mystery made of it." I had to grumble to
+somebody, you see, if only to keep up appearances and help hide my
+guilty secret; and then I _was_ bored, and worse, with the way things
+had gone.
+
+"You took that risk, Robert, when you brought them together here. Did
+you expect that two such persons as they would agree easily and at once?
+I think they love each other, or were in a way to it when this occurred,
+whatever it was."
+
+"Well, I am awfully sorry. Clarice can take care of herself, I suppose;
+but as for Hartman, he had load enough to carry before. I love that man,
+Jane."
+
+"So do I, Robert."
+
+"Eh? O, the devil you do!" This came out before I could stop it. It did
+not please her.
+
+"Brother, you are simply scandalous. Will you never learn a decent
+respect for women--you with a wife of your own, and boys growing up?
+Where have you been to acquire such ideas and such manners? You might
+have lived in the woods instead of Mr. Hartman, and he might have been
+bred in courts, compared with you.--I mean, of course, that I am
+interested in him, and sorry for him, as we all are. He is your friend,
+and he has excellent qualities."
+
+I was somewhat cast down by all this browbeating. Where shall a man go
+for gentle sympathy and that sort of thing, if not to his own sister? I
+suppose she thought of this, for she went on more kindly. "I would say
+nothing to Clarice if I were you. When she is ready, she will speak--to
+you."
+
+"To me, eh? What would she do that for?" I put this in as part of the
+narrative, but I am not proud of it. I had not quite recovered yet from
+the effect of Jane's previous violence; and then my intellect is not
+equal to all these feminine convolutions.
+
+"Brother, your head is not as good as your heart. Don't you understand
+that in some cases a woman goes to a man, if there is one of the right
+kind at hand, much as a man goes to a woman? You are a man, and Mr.
+Hartman's nearest friend. After all her recent confidences with you, or
+intimacy at any rate--of course I don't know what she talked with you
+about, so many hours--is it surprising that Clarice should turn to you
+in her trouble, when she can bring herself to break silence at all? When
+she is ready, she will speak to you, and to no one else. Till she is
+ready, not all of us together, nor all the world, could draw a word from
+her. Must I explain all this to you, as if you were Herbert? And when
+she does speak, brother, I do hope that you will listen with due respect
+and sympathy, and not disgust and repel her by any more coarse ideas and
+base interpretations."
+
+I paid no attention to these last remarks, which seemed to me wholly
+unworthy of Jane. Strange, that one who at times displays so much
+intelligence and even, as Hartman calls it, discernment, can in other
+things be so unappreciative and almost low-minded. Coarse ideas,
+indeed! Well, never mind that now: let me meditate on this prospect
+which she has opened to my view. So Clarice is coming to me: she knows I
+am her best friend after all. Little Clarice, how often have I dandled
+her on my knee in the years that have gone by! Dear little
+Clarice----BOSH! What an infernal fool a man can make of himself over a
+pretty woman in trouble! I am sometimes almost tempted to think that, as
+she delicately hinted, there must be an uncommon soft spot in my upper
+story. It is bad enough to show it when the girl is by; let me preserve
+my balance till then. When she wants to talk to me, I will hear what she
+has to say.
+
+
+
+
+XVII.
+
+CONSOLATION.
+
+
+Sure enough about a week after this Clarice came to me as I was smoking
+a surreptitious cigar on the rocks, away from the house, after sundown.
+She came and sat down close by me, but I pretended not to notice.
+"Robert," said she. "Well," said I. There is no use in meeting them half
+way when they are willing to come the whole distance: mostly you have to
+do it all yourself, and turn about is fair play.
+
+"Robert, are you angry with me?"
+
+I couldn't help looking at her now, and she shot one of her great
+glances into my face. I melted right down, and so would you have done.
+"Clarice, you know I never could be angry with you five minutes
+together--nor five seconds, if you chose to stop it. What have I got to
+be angry about now?"
+
+"Well, Bob, it wasn't your fault this time."
+
+"No, I trust not. Whose fault was it?"
+
+"Mine, mine. Bob, will you be my friend?" And she put her hand in mine.
+
+"What have I ever been but your friend? Don't you do as you like with
+me--and with all of us? Clarice, you know it hurts me to see you like
+this. And there's poor Hartman."
+
+She pulled away from me. "What has Mr. Hartman to do with it? Who was
+talking of him?"
+
+"Miss Elliston," I said with dignity, "the First of April is past some
+time ago. What do you want to be playing these games on me for?"
+
+"O, don't 'Miss Elliston' me, Bob. Don't you understand women yet?"
+
+"No, I'll be shot if I do; and I never expect to. That will do for young
+beginners, who think they know everything. I've seen too much of you to
+pretend to understand you. Why don't you speak out and come straight to
+the point?"
+
+"Why, you goose, that's not our nature. Speaking out and going straight
+to the point will do for great clumsy things like you and Mr. Hartman."
+
+"Well, I am a great clumsy thing, as you justly observe. It's very
+pleasant to have you come to me like this, Princess, and I wish you
+would do it oftener; it's mighty little I've seen of you of late. But
+though it would meet my views to prolong this session indefinitely, I
+suppose you want something of me, or you wouldn't be so sweet. It may
+seem an improbable statement, but I would rather help you out of this
+scrape than enjoy your society even--that's saying a good deal, but it's
+true. Yes, I'm fool enough for that."
+
+"I know you are, dear," she said, very low and sweetly. Now what was it
+she knew? You can take that two ways. All the compliments I get are so
+ambiguous. But this did not occur to me till afterwards. So I went on
+with my usual manly simplicity.
+
+"Then you know there's no need of circumlocution and feminine wiles when
+you want anything of me, Princess. You have but to speak, and, as the
+Frenchman said, 'If it is possible, it shall be done: if it is
+impossible, I can only regret that I can't do it.' What do you want me
+to do now?"
+
+"Nothing, Bob; nothing but to listen to me and be good."
+
+"I am listening, Clarice: I've been listening all this time." This was
+not quite true, for I had done most of the talking; but then what I said
+was not of much account. When I am with her I often talk just to fill
+the gaps.
+
+"You can listen when I am ready to talk, and keep quiet till then. I
+only want your sympathy."
+
+"You have it, Clarice; you have it most fully. Come rest on this bosom,
+my own stricken dear--"
+
+"I don't want to rest on your bosom, Bob; your shoulder is big enough.
+Have you got your best coat on?"
+
+"Well, no; this is not the one I wore at dinner. But I will go to the
+house and get my clawhammer if you wish."
+
+"No, no. I only want to cry a little."
+
+"You would be perfectly welcome to cry on my best coat every day of the
+week, Princess, and I would get a new one as often as it might be
+needed. I don't wish to make capital out of your grief, my dear; I would
+rather never get a kind word from you than have you suffer. But often it
+seems as if you didn't care for anybody, you are so high and mighty and
+offish; and O doth not an hour like this make amends--"
+
+"Drop that, Bob. Don't try to be sentimental: you always get the lines
+wrong. I've not been here an hour. O, were you joking? You are no more
+in the humor for jokes than I am, and you know it. Do keep quiet."
+
+I did: I 'dropped it.' Clarice will use slang at times, it is one of
+her few faults. Where she learns it, I cannot conceive. It is
+unfeminine, and out of keeping with her whole character; in any one else
+I should call it vulgar. But I saw she did not wish to be disturbed just
+then, so I said no more. Instead, I thought of my guilty secret--her
+secret. It weighs on me heavily; but I can't tell her what I saw and
+heard. I don't know how she would take it; and I don't care to be
+exploding any dynamite bombs about my own premises. The situation is bad
+enough as it is; I'll not make it worse. Poor Clarice! poor Hartman! And
+yet you can't meddle with such high-strung folks. By and by she spoke.
+
+"Bob, do you know why I come to you, instead of to Jane or Mabel?"
+
+I was on the point of quoting Jane's valuable idea about my being a man,
+but refrained.
+
+"I could not ask any woman for what you give me. And you are half a
+woman, Bob; you are so patient and loyal. Nobody else would be that."
+
+"But Mabel and Jane love you too, dear. They would do anything for you."
+
+"Yes, but that is more on equal terms. I am so exacting; I want so much,
+and give so little. I suppose I was born so; and you have spoiled
+me--all of you. O, I know I have treated you badly, Robert, often;
+generally, in fact. I am proud and hateful, and you never resent it.
+Only a man can be like that--to a woman: and very few men would be so.
+You are not like other men, Bob: there is nobody like you. You are such
+a useful domestic animal."
+
+Perhaps I was getting unduly exalted when she let me down thus. I wish
+Clarice at least would be less mixed--more continuous and consistent, so
+to speak--when she sets forth my virtues. But one must take the Princess
+as he finds her, and be content with any crumbs of approval she may
+drop. Sometimes I think I am a fool about her; but when she talks as
+she does to-night, I know I am not. There may be more amiable women, and
+plenty more even-tempered; but there is only one Clarice. I may have
+made that remark before, but it will bear repeating. It is not of me she
+is thinking all this time: how should it be? O Hartman, Hartman, if you
+could know what I know, and see what is before you!
+
+Presently she spoke again. "Robert, why don't you ask me what I have
+done? I know you are dying of curiosity."
+
+"I can restrain my curiosity, rather than pry into your affairs, dear.
+When you see fit, you will tell me. But if you wish it, I will ask you."
+
+"No, it would be of no use. I can't tell you now; perhaps never. Robert,
+where did you learn to respect a woman so?"
+
+"Jane says I will never learn it. But I do respect you, Princess."
+
+"That must have been when you had vexed her with some of your blunders:
+you do make blunders, you know? But, Bob, do you know why I love you?"
+
+This moved me so that I had to put myself on guard. She never said so
+much as that before: it is not her way to talk about feelings or profess
+much affection for anybody.
+
+"I suppose because we were brought up together, and you are used to me.
+And, as you say, I am a useful domestic animal. If I can be useful to
+you, I am proud and thankful. I think more of you than I could easily
+say: it is very good of you to give me some small return."
+
+"It is because you have a heart, Robert. They may say what they please
+of your head, but you have a great big heart."
+
+Now was ever the superior male intellect thus disparaged? She must have
+got this notion from Jane; but I can't quarrel with her now.
+
+"Men are great clumsy things, as you said, dear: we have not your tact,
+nor your delicate roundabout methods. You are right, I do make blunders;
+I feel my deficiencies when I am with you. But if my head, such as it
+is, or my heart, or my hand, can ever serve you, they will be ready."
+
+"Suppose I were to leave you, and go out of your life?"
+
+"You could not go out of my life, though you might go far away. I should
+be sorry, but I have no right to hold you. But if you ever wanted me, I
+should always be here."
+
+"Suppose I did something wrong and foolish?"
+
+"I don't want to suppose that, but if I must--it would not be for me to
+judge you, as you told me once. You might do something that did not
+accurately represent your mind and character: since I know them, the
+action would be merely a mistake, a transient incongruity. I don't
+change easily: I have known you from your cradle. And if it was ever
+possible for me to fail you, it is not possible after to-night."
+
+"You are very fond of Mr. Hartman, Robert. What if I quarreled with him?
+Would you take my part against him?"
+
+"I would take your part against the world, Clarice. But he is not of the
+world. A sad and lonely man, burdened with an inverted conscience and
+quixotic fancies that turn the waters into blood, who has come for once
+out of his hermitage to catch a glimpse of the light that never was on
+sea or land, and then to see it turn into darkness for him. I fear he is
+sadder and lonelier now than when I brought him from the woods: but I
+would stake my soul on his honor, as I would on yours. You cannot force
+me into such a dilemma."
+
+A heavenly glow was on her face now, as she looked long at the stars,
+and then at me. "Why are you eloquent only when you speak of him,
+brother?"
+
+"You say I have a heart, Clarice: it is eloquent when I think of you.
+Shall a stranger be more sacred to me than my sister?--and I don't mean
+Jane. You would be sacred to a better man than I, dear, if he knew you
+as I do: you may be so already, for what I can tell. He _could_ not mean
+to sin against you, Princess. If he seemed to fail in respect, or
+courtesy, or anything that was your due, forgive him, and don't banish
+him forever. I trusted that you would have enlightened and converted and
+consoled him: he is worth it."
+
+I longed to say more, but this was as far as I dared go. She sighed.
+
+"Perhaps I need to be converted and consoled myself. But that is
+ungrateful; with such a comforter at hand I ought not to be miserable.
+We never knew each other like this before, Robert. Why is it?"
+
+"I don't know, Clarice--or rather I do, of course. It takes the moon,
+and stars, and a common trouble, to bring people together, even when
+they see each other every day; and then concurring moods must help. One
+stands in awe of you, Princess; I always shall. You only tolerated me
+when you were happy: I was rough, and careless, and stupid, and made bad
+jokes in the wrong places. I will try to do better after this, so that
+you need not be repelled when you want me. Hartman, now, is of finer
+mould than I: if you would let him come back--"
+
+"No more of that now, dear. Let us go in. The moon is going down: it is
+getting cold and dark." So it was; and damp too--on my shoulder at
+least. "I am glad you had your old coat on," she said.
+
+Mabel was alone in the parlor. "Well," she began; then she saw our
+faces, and modified her tone. "The moonlight was very fine, I suppose?"
+
+"You know you never will go out in the evening," said Clarice. "It is
+later than I thought. Don't scold Robert; he has been a dear good boy."
+She kissed her, and went upstairs.
+
+"Mabel," said I, "Clarice is in trouble." I had to say something, and
+this was perfectly safe. You see, she had told me nothing, and so I
+could say if asked. But I wasn't.
+
+"I know that, of course, Robert: I have seen it all along. She is a dear
+girl, for all her flightiness. She will say nothing to me. I hope it
+will come right. If you can help or comfort her, I shall be glad." Then
+she too went to bed.
+
+It is unusual for Mabel to be surprised into such candor. I got a cigar,
+and went out on the porch to meditate. Jane thought that Clarice would
+tell me things. Yes, I have got a lot of information. Let me see, I am a
+useful domestic animal, and I have a big heart: that's about the size of
+it. At this rate, I can soon write a Cyclopaedia. Well, cold facts are
+not all there is in life: there are some things the Cyclopaedias fail to
+tell us about. I don't regard the last few hours as altogether wasted.
+
+After this the Princess and I did not talk much: there seemed to be no
+need of it. But she was a new and revised edition of the old Clarice,
+wonderfully sweet, and gracious, and equable; and her look when we met
+was like the benediction in answer to prayer, as Longfellow says. I went
+about with a solemn feeling, as if I had just joined the Church. What
+does a fellow want with slang, and pipes, and beer, and cheating other
+fellows on the street, when he has such entertainments at home? And yet
+it cuts me to the soul to look at her: I _must_ do something to bring
+them together. Pretty soon we went back to New York.
+
+
+
+
+XVIII.
+
+AGAINST EARNESTNESS.
+
+
+Jane, and even Mabel, have the idea that I am of light and shallow
+nature; and sometimes I think they are right. It must be so; for your
+profound and serious characters have a weakness for sorrow, and
+luxuriate in woe--whereas I object to trouble of any kind, and cannot
+get used to it. The house has been like a rural cemetery for near two
+months, and it simply bores me. Hartman now prefers to dwell among the
+tombs: he has lived these ten years in a graveyard, so to speak, under a
+canopy of funereal gloom, and he thrives on it. He and Clarice are the
+most superior persons I know; and they have gone and got themselves into
+a peck, or rather several bushels, of trouble, about nothing at all.
+They must like it, or why should they do it? I doubt if I can ever be
+educated up to that point. I have the rude and simple tastes of a child:
+sunshine seems to me better than shade (except during the heated term),
+and pleasure more desirable than pain. I like to be comfortable myself,
+and to have every one else so. Imagine Mabel getting miffed at me, or I
+at her, over some little two-penny affair of unadvised expressions! She
+often says unkind things to me: if I took an earnest view of life, and
+were full of deep thought and fine feeling, probably I should have to
+take her criticisms to heart, and go away in a hurry and never come
+back. I sometimes make blunders worse than that one of Hartman's, and no
+harm worth mentioning ever comes of them--though I do have to be careful
+with the Princess. No doubt I am frivolous and superficial; but people
+of my sort appear to get along more easily, and to make less trouble for
+themselves and others, than those whose standards are so much higher.
+If I had the managing of this business, I could set it right inside a
+week--or in two days, if Jim were not so far away. It is merely to say
+to him, "Your language was unparliamentary. It is not etiquette to
+assume that a lady cares for you when you have not asked her to. You
+have no right to resent her resenting such unconventional behavior. You
+owe her an apology: go and make it like a man, and withdraw the
+offensive epithet, term, phrase, clause, or sentence, which ever it
+might be." Then I would say to her, "He meant no harm. How do you expect
+a member from Wayback to be posted on all the usages of metropolitan
+society? You ought not to have come down on him so hard. Let the man say
+he is sorry, and forgive him. You were mainly to blame yourself; but
+seeing it is you, we'll pass that." Then I would stand over them like
+the heavy father in the plays, and say, "You love each other. Take her,
+Jim: take him, Clarice. Bless you, my children." That is the way it
+ought to be done, and that is the way I would fix it if it concerned
+common every-day people like myself, with no pretence to qualities
+higher than practicability and common sense--supposing such people could
+have got into such a mess, which I own is improbable. A method that
+would answer for them is not so easily applied to these superfine
+specimens, who have taken such pains to build themselves a private
+Purgatory, and keep it going on a limited supply of fuel. They might
+resent intrusion on their agreeable demesne, and put up a board with 'No
+Trespassing' on it; but then they ought to keep the place fenced in
+better: as it is, the smoke and heat spread too much. They might say,
+'If we enjoy our misery, what right have the rest of you to interfere?'
+Yes, but what right have they to rope in the rest of us, who are not so
+addicted to the luxury of grief, and make us miserable too? That's what
+it comes to. 'Each man's life is all men's lesson,' and each woman's
+too. Now if our high-toned friends had kept this particular part of
+their lives in manuscript, and not supplied us with copies, but reserved
+it for spelling out in secret at their own leisure, the case would be
+different. As it stands, this embroglio is a lesson which I have got by
+heart and am tired of: I would like to set it aside and turn to
+something more cheerful. Moreover, as the head of a family I have duties
+in the matter, for it affects us all. I don't mind so much about Jane:
+she thinks this is a XX. romance, which the parties chiefly concerned
+are conducting in the most approved manner; if she had one of her own, I
+suppose this would be her style--her idea of how the thing should be
+done.[1] It is not mine, however; far from it. Shall I sit passive, and
+see the clouds of care growing heavier about the wife of my bosom, and
+the furrows deepening in that once marble brow? She looks two years
+older than she did two months ago, and she owns it. I have three lovely
+children: how brief a space it is since they played in the abandonment
+of infant glee! And now their young existence, too, is darkened. Herbert
+no longer slides down the banisters, with his former recklessness, but
+sits and looks wistfully at Cousin Clarice. The change involves a saving
+in lint and arnica, but a loss of muscular development. You see, we are
+all of the sympathetic--which is the expensive--temperament: we have not
+sense enough to be content each with his or her own personal affairs,
+and let the others arrange their private funerals at their own charge.
+There is more truth than I thought in part of what I told Hartman, that
+night on the boat.
+
+This thing must stop. I will have to ask the Princess if she wants our
+humble abode to be a house of mourning much longer. We might accommodate
+her in that respect for another month or two, but not permanently.
+Lovers are so selfish: they don't care if they upset all your domestic
+arrangements, and spoil your harmonies with the discord of their sweet
+bells jangled. It ought not to be encouraged, nor yet allowed.
+
+[Footnote 1: I was wholly mistaken in this, as will appear by the next
+chapter. _R. T._]
+
+
+
+
+XIX.
+
+CONSPIRACY.
+
+
+The summer has not done for any of us what it ought; quite the reverse.
+Even I am not in my usual form, if Mabel and Jane are right. They had
+let me alone for some time: last night they attacked me together--a
+preconcerted movement, obviously.
+
+"Robert, you are pale, almost haggard. You need a change."
+
+"Why," said I, "I've just had a change--or rather several of them. We've
+been back only three weeks."
+
+"You need mountain air: the sea does not agree with you. And Newport is
+not what it used to be."
+
+"It's a good deal more so, if you mean that; but I don't know that its
+increased muchness has damaged my health to any great extent."
+
+"You prefer small, remote places, and their way of life; you know you
+do. They are more of a change from town. You bought the house at Newport
+for our sakes. I have often feared you were sacrificing yourself to
+us--with your usual disinterestedness, dear."
+
+"Well, my usual disinterestedness is ready to be worked again, to any
+reasonable extent, if you will say what you're after. But how can I
+leave the business now?"
+
+"O, the business!" (It was Jane this time.) "That is all very fine, when
+you don't want to leave town. But I notice that the business never
+interferes with any of your junketings. What are your clerks paid for?
+Can't they attend to the business?"
+
+"A fine idea you women have of business, and a fine success you'd make
+of it. Jane, suppose you take charge in Water Street while I am away."
+
+"I don't doubt I could do it quite as well as you, after a little
+practice. Why, brother, Mr. Pipeline understands it a great deal better
+than you do. Our father, in his later years, trusted him entirely."
+
+"Yes, Robert," said Mabel, "and how often you have assured me that Mr.
+Pipeline was absolutely competent and reliable. When we were married,
+and a hundred times since, you explained your carelessness and
+indifference about the business by saying that all was right while old
+Mr. Pipeline was there: he knew everything, and kept the whole force to
+their work. It was that, you said, which enabled you to be so much more
+about the house than most men could be, and so attentive and
+satisfactory as a husband and father."
+
+She had me there: who would expect a woman to remember things and bring
+them up in this way, so long after? So I tried to turn it off.
+
+"O, well, he hasn't gone to Canada yet: the books seem straight, and the
+returns are pretty fair. But it is well for the head of the firm to look
+in occasionally, all the same."
+
+"You do look in occasionally, Robert: no one can accuse you of
+neglecting that duty. Would I have married a man who neglected duty, and
+allowed his business to go to ruin, and his family to come to want? Your
+conscience may rest perfectly easy on that score, dear."
+
+"O, thank you: it does. I've not often allowed the state of the oil
+market to interfere with sleep or appetite, or with my appreciation of
+you and the children. Family duties first, my dear; what so sacred, so
+primary, as the ties of Home? But such virtue is not always duly prized
+there. I'm glad you do me justice."
+
+"I always have, Robert; always. Whatever Jane and others might say about
+your levity and your untimely jests and so forth, I have steadily
+maintained that you had a good heart."
+
+"There, Jane, do you hear that? Mabel knows, for she is in a position to
+know."
+
+"Of course, brother, we are all aware of that. If you had not that one
+redeeming trait, I should have left you long ago, even if I had had to
+get married. You admire Artemus Ward: he had a giant mind, you
+recollect, but not always about him. So with your good heart at times.
+But we are wandering from the point. Mabel, you were showing him how he
+could go away for a week or two without neglecting his important duties
+down town."
+
+"Why yes, Robert. You have been here three weeks now, and I am sure you
+have been at the store nearly every day. Indeed, when you were not at
+home, or at the club, or somewhere about town, I doubt not you might be
+found in Water Street a good part of the time."
+
+"Yes," I said with an air of virtuous complacency, "I believe you are
+right. I can't deny it, though it may help your side of the argument."
+
+"Well then, you can surely be spared during a brief absence. And when
+you return, you can continue to look in occasionally, as you say."
+
+"Perhaps I could, though it is not well to be too positive. Where do you
+think I ought to go?"
+
+"Well, you are fond of fishing and hunting. You might go up and spend a
+week with Mr. Hartman. You found good sport there, you said."
+
+"O yes, there are trout enough, and deer not far off, he told me. But I
+was there in May. And it is not very comfortable at Hodge's, if you
+remember."
+
+"But of course this time you would stay with Mr. Hartman. You refused
+his invitation before, and it was hardly civil to such an old friend."
+
+"He has a mere bachelor box, my dear, and I hardly like to thrust myself
+on him."
+
+"Why, Robert, I am surprised at you. After Mr. Hartman spent a fortnight
+with us at Newport--and when he has written you twice, urging you to
+come. Can't you see that the poor man is lonely, and really wants you?"
+
+"Mabel, it would be all very well if it were like last May--only he and
+I to be considered. But here is that blessed entanglement of his with
+Clarice--quarrel, or love-making nipped in the bud, or whatever it
+was--that complicates matters. After all the lectures I've had from you
+two, I don't want to complicate them any more, nor to meddle in her
+affairs, nor appear to. Suppose I go up there, and he wants news of her,
+and anything goes wrong, or it simply doesn't come right as you expect;
+I'd have your reproaches to bear ever after, and perhaps those of my own
+conscience. You're not sending me off simply for my health, or for a
+little fishing. If I go to Hartman, the sport will not be the main item
+on the programme; and that every one of us knows perfectly well. So I
+don't move till I see my way straight."
+
+Finding me thus unexpectedly firm, Jane looked at Mabel, and Mabel
+looked at Jane, and there was a pause. You see, in this last deliverance
+I had uttered my real mind--or part of it--and it naturally impressed
+them.
+
+My sister's share in the discussion had thus far been confined to the
+few efforts at sarcasm duly credited to her above--let no one say that I
+am unjust to Jane. She had been watching me pretty closely, but I hardly
+think she saw anything she was not meant to see. Now she came to the
+front, looking very serious--as we all did, in fact.
+
+"Well, brother, some things are better understood than spoken--from our
+point of view. But if you insist on having all in plain words, and
+playing, as you call it, with cards on the table--"
+
+"Just so," said I. "You use your feminine tools: I use mine, which are a
+man's. If I have to do this piece of work, it must be on my own
+conditions and after my own fashion, with the least risk of
+misunderstanding."
+
+"Robert, if this is affectation, you are a better actor than I thought.
+But if you really know no more than we do--"
+
+This was too much for Mabel. "Now, Jane, you go too far. Robert likes
+his little joke, but he knows when to be serious. Why do you suspect him
+so?"
+
+Jane went on. "Of course it is possible he may be no deeper in Clarice's
+confidence than we: she is very reticent. You mean, brother, that you
+will do nothing till she authorizes you?"
+
+"Well, as I said, this is her affair. For you, or me, or anybody else,
+to meddle in it without her direction, or permission--unless in case of
+obvious extremity--would seem, by all rules alike ethical and
+prudential, a delicate and doubtful proceeding, to say the least."
+
+"I suppose you are right there. Mabel, you may as well tell him. Robert,
+don't think, from all this preamble, that it is of more importance than
+it would otherwise seem. Perhaps we might as well have told you at once;
+but we are only women, you know. Now at last we are using your
+tools--the tools you always use with such manly consistency--candor and
+open speech. Tell him, Mabel."
+
+"Robert dear, Clarice told me to-day that you were looking badly; she
+thought you needed a change. 'Is he not going off for his fall fishing?'
+she said."
+
+"Is that all?"
+
+"It is a good deal for her," said Jane. "If you want more, ask her. Are
+you less concerned for her happiness than we are? Must we arrange all
+the preliminaries? Brother, if _I_ could do anything, no fear of
+consequences or reproaches should tie my hands: I would do what is
+right, and take the chances. If I stood where you do, I would have this
+matter settled, or know why it could not be. I would never sit idle, and
+see two such lives spoiled--and all our hearts broken. O, I know you
+love them both. But you are so cautious--unnecessarily and absurdly so
+at times, and wedded to useless diplomacy, when only the plain speech
+you talk about is needed. You stand in awe of Clarice too much: you may
+wait too long. Forgive me, Robert; but whatever she may say, you _must_
+see Mr. Hartman before winter."
+
+I could have embraced Jane, besides forgiving her slurs on me, which may
+contain an element of truth. There is more in her than I have supposed;
+and of course what she insists on is exactly what I have all along meant
+to do. But it did not come in handy to say so at this point. "I'll think
+it over. You two had better go to bed: I must go out and smoke."
+
+"Robert," said Mabel, "don't go out to-night. You can smoke in the
+dining-room."
+
+"No; I'll not take a base advantage of your present amiable mood. But I
+tell you what it is; if you want to get Hartman here in cold weather you
+must let us have a snuggery. He can't do without his tobacco."
+
+It was a fine night, and I wanted a walk as well as a smoke. I felt
+gratified, for this thing had gone just as I desired. I am not quite so
+impulsive as Jane, and I understand the difficulties as she does not;
+but my plan has merely waited for events to give it definite shape and
+make it feasible. Certainly I must see Hartman, and as he can't come
+here, I must go there. But I wanted the women to suggest my going; that
+divides the responsibility, and gives them a hand in the game. I would
+have had to propose it myself within a week or so, if they had not
+spoken. But the Princess knows what she is about, and what is fit and
+proper. It may seem strange that she should speak to Mabel instead of to
+me; but she will say what she has to say to me before I start. In fact,
+I'll not start till she does--how could I? It is her business I am going
+on, with just enough of my own to give it a color. I'll write to Jim at
+once, to ask when he wants me: the mails are slow up there, and it may
+be a week before his answer comes. That will give me time to get my
+instructions, and not be in any unseemly haste to seek them either. So
+far, so good; but there is more to be done, and delicate work too, such
+as will bear no scamping. It is the biggest contract you ever undertook,
+R. T., and you must make a neat job of it.
+
+
+
+
+XX.
+
+APOLOGY FOR LYING.
+
+
+If you do not understand my waiting for Mabel and the girls to prompt
+this move, and allowing them to urge it against my apparent reluctance,
+I ascribe this failure on your part to lack of experience, rather than
+to any deeper deficiency. Some men like to make a parade of
+independence, and to do--or pretend to do--everything of themselves,
+without consulting or considering their womankind. But such are not the
+sort I choose my friends from; for I have been accustomed to regard both
+brain and heart as desirable appurtenances to a man. There is little
+Bruteling, at the club, who would like to be considered a man of the
+world--but I can't waste space or time on him. And I have met family men
+even--but I don't meet them more than once if I can help it--who regard
+their wives and sisters as playthings, dolls, upper-class servants, not
+to be trusted, taken into their confidence, or treated with any real
+respect. Such heresies have no place under a Christian civilization,
+which has exalted Woman to her true rank as the equal and helpmeet of
+Man, the object of his tenderest affections and most loyal services. It
+is in his domestic life that one's true character is shown; and Home is
+not only the dearest place on earth to me and to every one whose head is
+level, but the stage on which his talents and qualities are best brought
+out.
+
+You think that I don't practice what I preach; that I introduce within
+those sacred precincts too much of play-acting and small diplomacy, as
+Jane says; that even at this moment my thoughts and intentions in a
+matter which concerns us all are imperfectly revealed to my nearest and
+dearest? Ah, that is owing to the difference between the sexes, and to
+the singular lines on which the Sex was constructed, mentally speaking.
+I don't wish to criticize the Architect's plans, but it seems to me I
+could suggest improvements which might have simplified relations, and
+avoided much embarrassment. The difficulty is that women, as a rule, can
+neither use nor appreciate Frankness. Just after I was married, I
+thought it was only the fair thing to tell Mabel about several girls I
+had been sweet on before I knew her. Would you believe it, she burst
+into tears, and upbraided me with my brutality; and she brings up that
+ill-advised disclosure against me to this day. I know several ladies who
+will not lie, under ordinary circumstances--not for the mere pleasure of
+it, at least; Clarice, for instance, and Jane, I believe; but not one
+who will tell the whole truth, or forgive you for telling it. Well,
+well, we have to take them as they are, and make the best of them: they
+have other redeeming traits, as Jane says of me. In heaven these
+inequalities will be done away, and one can afford to speak out--at
+least I hope so. But meantime you can see how these feminine
+peculiarities hamper a man, and check his natural candor, and impose on
+him a wholly new, or at least a hugely modified, ethical code. If I were
+to follow my original bent, which was uncommonly direct and guileless, I
+should be in hot water all the time. It is this struggle between nature
+and--well, I can hardly call it grace; let us say necessity, or
+environment--which is making me bald, and fat, and aging me so fast. You
+have seen, in the course of this narrative, what scrapes I have gotten
+into by speaking before I stopped to think, and blurting out the simple
+truth. I was once as honest as they are ever made--and for practical and
+domestic uses nearly an idiot. I have been obliged, actually forced, to
+deny myself the indulgence of a virtue, and diligently to cultivate the
+opposite vice. The preachers don't know everything: I could give them
+points. I don't say I have succeeded remarkably, and the exercise has
+been deeply painful to me; but it was absolutely essential, if I was to
+be fit for the family circle, and able to do or get any good in this
+imperfect world. There is no escape, unless you live in a hermitage like
+Hartman. You may have noticed that my loved ones sometimes appear to
+treat me with less than absolute respect and confidence: it is the
+result of this life-conflict, which has left me with a character mixed,
+and in one respect wrecked. But they would think much worse of me than
+they do if I told them the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the
+truth, on all occasions. Thus I might--and then again I might not--go to
+our poor Princess, and say, "Clarice, Mabel and Jane think I ought to
+see Hartman. I think so too, and they report you as concurring in the
+verdict. This is delicately put under cover of my health and the fall
+fishing; but we all know that you and Jim want looking after more than I
+do, and that bigger game than trout is to be caught. Tell me what you
+want me to say to him and do with him, and I will start at once." Some
+women might stand that, possibly, but not the ones I am used to: such
+would be eminently the way not to attain my benevolent end. No, no; you
+can do nothing in such cases without finesse, as Jim calls it, and
+strategy, and tact, and management; and if you have not these gifts by
+nature, you must acquire them, whatever they may cost. I still hold to
+my principles; but I don't propose to run them into the ground. In
+morality, as elsewhere, a little too much is apt to be worse than much
+too little; and theory and practice are very different things, not to be
+rashly confounded. You want to hold the right theories, and then to live
+as near them as depraved mundane conditions will allow. The manly
+weapons of which Jane spoke so scornfully last night are the right
+ones--when you can use them. In the case in hand, to tell all I know
+would have been at any time, and would still be, impossible and ruinous.
+Hartman is not so far out on some points: as he says, we did not arrange
+the present scheme of things, and could not be proud of it if we had.
+
+You may say, and I could not deny, that my diplomacy, such as it is, is
+not always employed for the benefit of women only. Hartman is a luminous
+and transparent soul--too much so for his own good: why did I practise
+occasionally on him? I can explain that best on general principles.
+
+In a world a majority of whose inhabitants are female, demoralization
+has naturally extended far and wide, till strict veracity has become
+unpractical. The first falsehood (after the serpent's) must have been
+humiliating to him who uttered it, and a fatal example to those who
+heard; but mankind soon grew used to the new fashion. I pass over the
+rude barbarian ages, whose gross and inartistic lying offers no claim to
+respectful and sympathetic interest, and no excuse but the lame one of
+selfish depravity, common to the race. But with the inroads of
+civilization Life became complex, and Truth was found too simple and
+rigid to fit with all its varied intricacies. That is, when Truth _is_
+simple. "Don't you think my baby beautiful?" demands a fond parent. "No,
+I don't: far from it." That is the truth; but its naked and repulsive
+brutality demands to be clothed with the garb of humane and graceful
+fiction. "Prisoner at the bar, are you guilty or not guilty?" He is
+guilty, of course; but if he says so, it is a dead give-away. In this
+case indeed the interests of Truth are one with those of Society, though
+not of the prisoner; but often it is different. The basis of ethics, our
+moralists say, is as largely utilitarian as it is ideal. If so, is there
+any special sacredness about cold facts, that they should get up on end
+and demand to be published everywhere continually? Truth ought to be
+modest, and not claim all the observances and honors, seeing there are
+so many other deities whom we poor mortals are no less bound to worship.
+When Grotius' wife lied to the policeman about her husband's
+whereabouts, the lie was an act of piety, whereas truthtelling would
+have been murderous infidelity. If the minions of the law were after me,
+would I thank Mabel and Jane and Herbert for telling them which way I
+had gone? There is no more aggravated nuisance than he who insists on
+exposing all he knows at all times and places--as I used to do before I
+learned these tricks. Look at poor Hartman, ejecting his honest
+backwoods thought without asking whether it was a wise and decent
+offering to his small but highly select audience; and see what trouble
+he has brought on himself and all of us thereby.
+
+This outspokenness is often mere self-indulgence. Take me, for instance:
+to this day, in spite of all the lessons I have had, it is far easier
+and pleasanter for me to tell the truth than not. People of this
+temperament must learn to put a check on nature. Self-indulgence is
+bad, all agree, and self-denial useful and necessary. This is the way
+virtues clash and collide. I say, confound such a world. What is a plain
+man to do in it? As the poet sings, the _Summum Bonum_ belongs in
+heaven, and you can't expect to get at it here, but must simply do the
+best you can, which is generally not very good. And then, as another
+poet puts it, very likely nobody will appreciate your efforts, but you
+will get cuffed for them: we are punished for our purest deeds, and so
+forth.--But this is trenching on Hartman's province. It is well that I
+should think all this out now: I can talk it over with him before we get
+to business. He will want sympathy with his notions about the depravity
+of things in general, and that will smooth the way, and make him willing
+to open up on the specific woe that lies nearest.
+
+To return to our muttons. The guilt of duplicity has lain heavy on my
+conscience for two months, but how can I help it? I don't so much mind
+keeping what I know from Mabel and Jane, for it is not their affair. But
+it is Clarice's affair--most eminently so--and I had promised solemnly
+to tell her at once when I knew or thought of anything that concerned
+her. It was obviously impossible to keep my promise in this case--not on
+my account, but on hers. It will not be easy to tell even Jim that I
+overheard their last colloquy, and witnessed the tragical parting scene:
+I'll have to watch my opportunities, and spring that on him just at the
+right moment, when it will have the best effect. Now any one who knows
+Clarice must see that to tell her this would be to take the most awful
+risks, and probably to destroy all chance of reconciling them; that is
+level to the meanest apprehension, I judge. No sir: it can't be done
+till I have seen Jim, and got things in train. Properly handled, the
+secret--that is, my possession of it, which is a second secret, almost
+as weighty as the original one--may be a tool to manage both these
+intractable subjects with, and bring them to terms: in a fool's hands,
+and thrown about promiscuously, it would be an infernal machine to blow
+us up. No: I'll take whatever guilt there is, rather than hurt Clarice
+now and hereafter. Do you want to know my opinion of a man who is always
+and only thinking about keeping his hands clean and his conscience at
+peace, so that he can't do a little lying--or it might be other
+sinning--on adequate occasion, to serve his friends or a good cause? I
+think he is a cad, sir--a low-minded cad; and of such is not the kingdom
+of heaven. It may not occur every day: it might not do to insert in the
+text-books as a rule; but once in a while there may be better businesses
+than saving one's soul and keeping one's conscience void of offense.[2]
+
+I am arguing against my own nature in all this. In my heart I love Truth
+above all things, and follow and serve her with a devotion that is
+probably exaggerated. But I can't help seeing that there are two kinds
+of her. When she is simple and obvious, she seems to reside in bare
+facts, which we may easily respect too much, for what are they but
+blackguard carnalities? Preraphaelitism in art, Realism in literature,
+might be all very well if they would keep their place--which is in the
+kitchen. Some may want pots and pans, and scullions, and pigs' feet, and
+ribs of beef described. I don't myself; but it is a free country, and
+vivid and accurate portraiture of these delicacies may constitute the
+main charm of literature for some readers, possibly. But Realism wants
+to take its pots and pans into the parlor: it always overdoes things. "A
+daisy by the river's brim a yellow daisy was to him, and it was nothing
+more." Well, what else should it be?--But perhaps I have not got that
+right. Pass on to our next head.
+
+Truth is not always simple--by no means always. Often she is highly
+complex, and as much mixed as I was just now; and then you don't know
+where she is, or what she is, and it gets to be all guesswork. One says,
+Here, and another says, There: the philosophers upset each other's
+schemes in turn, the theologians hurl reciprocal excommunications, the
+scientists of to-day laugh at those of last year. If Pilate meant it
+this way, we owe him some sympathy and respect. "Speak the truth and
+shame the devil," they say. Bah! [I think this expletive ought to be
+spelt _Baa_.] When you know what the truth is, you are more likely to
+shame your friends, and become obnoxious and ridiculous. And in most
+cases you don't know, and if you suppose you do, you are mistaken. I
+have thought out a way of approximating Truth on a large scale, and more
+nearly than most succeed in doing; but this is a big topic, and I had
+better keep it to entertain Hartman with.
+
+O yes; I was to explain why I sometimes use roundabout methods even with
+him. If you tell all you know to everyone you meet, or disclose your
+real character, it will generally be a waste of good material which
+might better be economized. By the way, what _is_ my real character? How
+should I know? One sees one side of it, another another. I see all that
+have turned up yet, but there may be many more, thus far latent; and how
+am I to harmonize them all, and take the average of a succession of
+phenomena? I am complex, like Truth.
+
+But I must not interrupt myself any more. Let us fall back on the
+utilitarian basis of ethics. You see, if I had talked like this to Jim
+when we met last May, he would have put himself on guard and begun to
+study me, whereas I wanted to draw him out--as I did. I have no
+objection to people studying me when I don't care to study them; but
+when there is anything to be done for them you have got to understand
+them first, and to this end it is best to appear simple and not distract
+their minds from the contemplation and disclosure of their own
+qualities: you can play on their vanity if your own does not stand in
+the road. Hartman has a fine mind, but in his innocent rural way he took
+for granted that I had stood still since we were together at college. So
+I played to his lead, and pretended, for instance, to know nothing about
+poetry; whereas, as you must have noticed, I am pretty well read, and my
+memory is remarkably copious and accurate. (Clarice did indeed say that
+I sometimes got the lines wrong; but what she meant was that the
+passages I quoted in my well-meant efforts to console her were of too
+gay a character for her melancholy mood.)
+
+In this way I secured Jim's regard and confidence, which I am using for
+his good: if I had put myself forward, and been anxious to impress him
+with my importance, he might have looked on me with the cynical
+indifference which is all the feeling he can afford to most people, and
+I should never have got him out of the woods. So when I was taking him
+to Newport, I said what it was desirable to say, and omitted what was
+not: how else should a rational man talk? And that first night there, I
+took the tone that he required, as a host is bound to do: sacred are the
+duties of christian hospitality. Poor Jim is as good as a play; he takes
+Life in such dead earnest, and expects his friends to be rampant
+idealists too: so I mounted the high horse for once to gratify him. He
+will never forget that, nor cease to respect me accordingly: he thinks I
+was serious then, and joking at all other times. You and I of course
+understand that Life is but a series of appearances; and if I seem to
+contradict myself, to say one thing on one page and its opposite on the
+next, I am only reporting the various phases assumed by facts without
+and moods within. 'The shield is gold.' 'No, it is silver.' Well, shall
+we fight about that? Probably it is both. A thing may be black in one
+light, and white in another, for what I know. Of all fools the positive
+philosophers seem to me the worst; and the most abject kind of conceit
+is that of alleged consistency. Why will you insist on a definiteness
+which has so little place in nature? The world is a chameleon, and you
+and I are smaller copies of it.
+
+I must try to explain all this to Hartman, and make him see that it is
+time he took on another color. He has been down in the depths all this
+while; now let him get up on the heights. But he would never do it of
+himself, nor without the management of a more practical mind. If I took
+things as he does, I should be tempted to say, "You monumental idiot, to
+fling a rash word at a girl as proud as Lucifer, and then to take her
+hasty repartee as a final verdict from doomsday book!" Happily there is
+one person around with sense enough to see that both these moon-struck
+babes are forgivable, and therefore capable of such bliss as may be
+found in a world of which the best to be said is that we are in very
+small measure responsible for it. They were both foolish, of course; but
+what proportion does their joint offence bear to their punishment--and
+ours? That is the Order of Things--this blessed and beautiful Kosmos.
+
+[Footnote 2: The unwary reader may possibly need to be reminded that R.
+T. is not to be taken too seriously, especially in this his Apology for
+Lying.--_Pub._]
+
+
+
+
+XXI.
+
+JANE TO THE RESCUE.
+
+
+It may seem unfeeling in me to indulge in dissertations like the above
+at so critical a juncture: but they serve to fill the time while I am
+waiting for marching orders. I have written to Jim, and that is all I
+can do at present. Jane thinks differently: she ought to have been a
+man, she is so fond of action. She got me in a corner to-day.
+
+"Well, brother?"
+
+"Well, Jane?"
+
+"What have you done?"
+
+"Done? what should I do?"
+
+"Use a man's tools, that you are so fond of; plain speech, if no more.
+Have you spoken to Clarice yet?"
+
+"No: why should I speak to her? She spoke to Mabel, not to me."
+
+"Robert, are you ever sincere in anything? When _I_ profess affection
+for people, I am ready to serve them at their need."
+
+"So am I, and Clarice knows it. She is perfectly aware that I am ready
+to do this thing, or any other thing within my power, for her at any
+time. It is easy for her to say what she wants."
+
+"Brother, you are _so_ stupid! Don't you know that it is excessively
+difficult for her to allude, however remotely, to a matter like this?
+Say what she wants, she would die first. Do you desire to wait for that?
+She is not like the rest of us; and a woman is not like a man. _You_
+could talk for a week, and turn your whole mind inside out, with no
+fatigue--except to your audience; but the faintest reference to what I
+need not name would cost her a painful effort. I told you it was a great
+thing for her to say what she did to Mabel. That ought to have been
+enough for you."
+
+"How could it be enough? Do try to talk sense now, Jane. How can I go
+off blindly on a fool's errand--in her interest, but without commission
+or instructions?"
+
+"Ask her for them, then. It is ungenerous to put on her the burden of
+opening the subject. She is doubtless waiting for you to speak, and
+wondering at your slackness."
+
+"Hanged if I can understand that. How many times have you lectured me
+about showing her proper respect, and restraining my native coarseness,
+and what not; and now you want me to go to her like a trooper or a grand
+inquisitor, and ask about the state of her feelings toward Hartman. I
+can't do it, Jane. When you get into such a scrape, I might try it, if
+you insisted--though it would go against me, as Sir Lancelot said: then
+you could see how you liked it. Clarice wouldn't like it at all; and she
+has deserved better things of me than that."
+
+"She _has_ deserved better things of you than she is getting. I thought
+you loved her as I do. So that was only one of your pretences?"
+
+"I love her too well to harass her; to intrude upon her solitude when
+she does not want me; to pry into her affairs without her consent, and
+destroy what chance there is that she may call me when she is ready."
+
+"She will never be ready, unless we, that are her first friends, come to
+her aid against her own pride and shyness. You think me intrusive--a
+meddlesome old maid, prying into what does not concern me: but, brother,
+she and Mr. Hartman were made for one another. They were deeply
+interested, both of them--I could see it plainly: it would have been
+settled in a few days more, if that wretched misunderstanding had not
+occurred. _He_ may get over it; he is a man, though he did not seem to
+be that kind. But she--she is of the deep, and silent, and constant
+type: she will nurse this hurt till it kills her. I love her, Robert;
+she has nobody but us. She never knew a thing like this before; it is
+her first experience. Other men to her were playthings, or bores; she
+had no friend among them but you. You cannot fancy how hard it is for
+her; harder far than for a younger girl. She is so helpless, for all her
+pride--her pride makes her more helpless to speak or act. If I could
+only help her, now--"
+
+And here, to my amazement, my stately sister broke down in a passion of
+tears and sobs: I never knew her do such a thing before. I patted, and
+petted, and soothed her, and did all that a man of humanity and
+experience does in such cases. I shall apply for the title, Consoler of
+Feminine Woes, since the business of the office comes to me. It will be
+Mabel next, I suppose, and then this thing must stop, unless we begin
+the round afresh. Clarice may naturally want to be comforted once or
+twice more; but I hope soon to remove all further occasion for that.
+Jane and I have not been like this since we were children.
+
+"There, there. Sister dear, I would knock any man down, and insult any
+woman, who said of you what you just said of yourself. You are not an
+old maid, and you might be a society leader if you cared for it: plenty
+of women are who have more years and less looks and manners and brains
+than you. You are as far as possible from a meddler: your fault is that
+you keep too much to yourself. I am sure Clarice would be touched and
+flattered by your interest in her: I should, if you took a quarter as
+much in me. Do you know, I never saw you look so well, or do yourself
+such credit--till now--as night before last. My heart said amen to every
+word you uttered, even when you were girding at me; for you thought I
+deserved it, and in part I did. I will have no more secrets from
+you--except such as I have no right to impart. If you will, we shall be
+friends now, and work together in this thing. You always seemed to
+despise me, Jane; and it is tedious when the affection is all on one
+side."
+
+"Yes: you used to have enough of that with Clarice."
+
+She was feeling better now. As I may have said on some previous
+occasion, a little judicious management will do great things for a
+woman. I must keep this up if I can, and make appropriate responses to
+all her remarks. I have been too hard on Jane in the past. After all,
+the tie between brother and sister is a peculiar one--few more so; and,
+except for the Princess, who is such only by adoption, each of us is all
+the other has got in that line. Perhaps I ought to have thought of this
+earlier.
+
+"Clarice appreciates my virtues better now, as I hope you will. But I
+was going to tell you: I am of one mind and heart with you about this,
+dear. I have always meant to see Hartman this fall, of course; but it
+was better that the suggestion should come from Mabel, you see."
+
+"You do tangle things up so unnecessarily, Robert. Mabel would have
+approved of anything you proposed, as a matter of course."
+
+"Well, my dear, I have no desire to be a dictator in the house, like
+some men. You all have interests and rights to be respected, and I want
+you to have your say."
+
+"We would have it more cheerfully if you would take yours--out plainly,
+in a man's way, you know. Have you written Mr. Hartman?"
+
+"Certainly: that same night, and asked if he wanted me next week. That
+was simple enough. I'm not afraid of _him_."
+
+"I can't see why you should be so afraid of Clarice. You've known her
+all her life, and she is only ten years younger than you. If she were
+but seventeen, now, and a new acquaintance, I might understand it. You
+_must_ have it out with her, Robert. If I adopt her style, perhaps you
+will do as I wish. Remember, we are to work together in this thing, and
+you are of one mind and heart with me about it; so you must let me
+direct you. Mind, now!"
+
+I stared: it was an imitation, gentle and subdued indeed, of the
+Princess as she was in her days of glory--not so long ago, alas!--before
+the rains descended and the winds blew and the storm beat upon her house
+of life: the tones were there, and a hint of the arch looks. Where did
+Jane learn these tricks? And what has come over her? A maiden, even of
+her years, is hardly warmed to life by a few compliments and caresses
+from her own mother's son. Can Hartman have waked her up too? She
+laughed in my face.
+
+"If our plot succeeds, you may be thrown on my society again; and as you
+are going to be so affectionate, I must fill Clarice's place as well as
+I can. Meantime, you had better let me guide you; indeed you had."
+
+"That may be; only don't drive me too hard, please. I'm not what I once
+was: all these emotions are too many for me. Where do you propose to
+guide me to?"
+
+"To Clarice. Will you come now?"
+
+"Scarcely: a nice reception we should get. This is not a case where two
+are better far than one. And then it would be three presently, which
+never answers--when she is one of them. I would rather go alone, and
+much rather not at all. Guide me somewhere else, sweet sister: or you
+can go yourself, if you like. But I don't see why she should stand on
+ceremony with me."
+
+"Not with you, but with her own heart--a more recent acquaintance, and
+much more formidable."
+
+"But that is there all the same, whether I go to her or she comes to
+me."
+
+"Yes, but--can't you see? She dislikes to take the initiative."
+
+"So do I. According to you, she has taken it already."
+
+"Yes, and once is enough. You are so slow, Robert: you require so much
+teaching."
+
+"I know. But don't despair: Hartman says you have improved me a heap,
+between you. You see, the cases are different. None of you are the least
+afraid of me--I should be sorry if you were. But I am afraid of you: you
+are such superior beings. You know you are: you look on my masculine
+dulness with contempt; and so do I. It is my deep and loyal respect for
+a woman--which you said I would never learn. Jane, you hurt me then; you
+have hurt me often. I would have been fonder of you--showed it more, I
+mean; but affection, repulsed, shrank into the shell of indifference. Be
+kind, now, and I will do anything you say. You see, I _am_ getting on."
+
+"I wish you would get on toward the business in hand. A nice time
+Clarice must have had with you. I can see now why she had to keep so
+tight a rein on you, and to rule you by fear. Will you speak to her, or
+will you not?"
+
+"Of course I will, before I go. We can't hear from Jim for several days
+yet. She will probably come to me before that. If not, I'll have to go
+to her. Jane, there are some things that you don't understand, and I
+can't explain."
+
+"Queer things they must be, then. I wonder that a man should be such a
+coward."
+
+"If you were a man, you wouldn't. I don't care to display my courage at
+home, sister. You are harder than Clarice. You want me to be all around
+the circle at once, and whatever I do, you find fault. My dear, ever
+since you spoke, I have been hanging about, to give her a chance to say
+what she wants. How can I stride up to her and shout, 'Here, tell me
+what to say to your runaway lover'? She knows all about it, if you
+don't. I'll wait to-morrow after breakfast; tell her so, if you will.
+She has only to look at me, and I'll ask her, if she wishes. Then you
+can scold me to your heart's content for making a mess of it, and being
+rough and brutal and stupid. Jane, I am doing the best I can. If I could
+put myself absolutely into your hands, and be but a voice and body to
+your mind, it might be an improvement; but unhappily that is not
+feasible at present. Will what I propose answer?"
+
+"Perhaps: I will see. I may have been unjust to you, Robert: you are
+different from most men, and not easy to understand: you like to let
+part of you pass for the whole. Whether you are so easy to rule as you
+pretend to be, I am not sure yet. Well, there is time to find out. If
+you live by your professions, well and good. Kiss me, dear; good-night."
+
+Since Jane has panned out in this unexpected way, I wish I could tell
+her the Secret: she might give me some points. But that is
+impossible--unthinkable, as they say at Concord. Clarice would never
+forgive me: that would be bad, but not the worst. It would be disloyal
+to her--distinctly so. That I've never been yet, and I'm too old to
+begin now. There may be cases in which the end justifies the means, but
+this is not one of them. No: I must dree this weird (if that is the
+expression), and hoe this row, all by myself. If I had been bred in the
+east, I should be tempted to say it was a contumelious responsibility.
+The next time you want to get into difficulties with a lady, James
+Hartman, you must do it on some other premises than mine.
+
+
+
+
+XXII.
+
+AN ORDEAL.
+
+
+Next morning I was nosing about in the library, pretending to be looking
+for a book, when Clarice came to me and said, "I don't think what you
+want is here. Leave business this afternoon, and take me to the Park."
+
+If she were to say, "Leave business this year, and take me to Europe, or
+to Madagascar," I should do it: she would have to arrange the matter
+with Mabel, but that she could do without difficulty, I have not the
+least doubt. It would be a loss to Water Street, and my departure would
+be felt in business circles generally; but they would have to stand it
+as they might. In this case, however, no heavy sacrifice was involved:
+for a few hours, or days, or weeks, Pipeline, as Mabel says, can conduct
+the old stand well enough. What it needs is the feeling that a master
+mind presides over its destinies, though from such a distance as Newport
+or the Wayback woods.
+
+We agreed on an hour--that is, she told me to be at the door at two--and
+I went down town, feeling relieved. It is much better for Clarice to
+take the responsibility of opening communications, and I wish she would
+conduct the whole interview, like a major-general with his aid-de-camp
+or a master plumber sending out his apprentices to mend the
+pipes--leaving me only to take notes of instructions. But that is too
+much to expect. It is a delicate task before me, and my talents for such
+(according to the ladies), are not so eminent that I should be anxious
+to overwork them. I can manage a man, and some women perhaps; but to
+catechize and cross-examine her on a subject as to which pride, and
+honor, and modesty lock a girl's lips--I don't see how I can do it,
+even with her consent. I would rather smoke my pipe through a powder
+mill than hurt you, my poor Princess: my clumsy fingers were never made
+to play about your heartstrings.
+
+I dropped in at Trinity on my way, and put up a prayer; it was that she
+might make it easy for herself, and for me, though that is a minor
+matter--keep the game in her own hands, and tell enough to serve her
+ambassador's need, without his questioning.
+
+She did not keep me waiting: she never had that vice. The change in her
+is not for casual eyes to see. Outwardly, I have fallen off more than
+she has; in fact, I have lost three pounds in these last two months.
+Many a hat was raised, many an envious glance turned toward me, as we
+spun up the avenue. The fellows at the club, and elsewhere, used to
+pester me to introduce them, and I gratified them for a while, till she
+told me she could not have all my acquaintances coming to call, and made
+Mabel say I must leave off bringing men home to dinner. She never was a
+coquette; but what is a girl so endowed to do? They would force
+themselves on her, by dozens, by scores, by hundreds: they overflowed
+the house and took up all her time; they crowded her life, until she
+could stand it no longer and stopped it. That is why we live so quietly
+of late: it is a great improvement. Now, they gaze on her from afar: yet
+she never had difficulty with any of them--till August, alas. That was
+my fault, for bringing in a wild man from the woods, who could not be
+counted on or ruled like the rest, but would flop around in his
+uncircumcised way and break things. I should never forgive myself for
+that, if I did not hope to get matters right--and more so than they ever
+were, for her.
+
+For a time we drove on silently. Then of a sudden, without looking at
+me, she said very quietly, "Jane told me you wanted to see me, Robert."
+
+O Lord, is this to be the shape of it after all? Well, what must be
+must, and I will do my stint as a man may. "Did she say nothing else?"
+
+"That you were afraid to come to me. Have I been so harsh with you, or
+so terrible of late?" Her tone was half arch, half reproachful.
+
+"No, no; far from it. But you know how it is, Clarice. Your trouble is
+ours, and I am a poor surgeon. How can I put a knife into the wound? I
+wish it were mine, and mine only."
+
+"I have brought trouble on you all, brother. I ought to have gone away."
+
+"Never; do you think Mabel and Jane would allow that, any more than I?
+We would all rather break our hearts together, if that need be, than
+have you among strangers now: it would be worse for us, no less than for
+you. When you are happy you may leave us; not till then."
+
+"I know. You love me, here, and bear with me, and for me--though I don't
+deserve it."
+
+"Don't say that--anything but that. My Princess deserves everything--and
+by Jove, she shall have it. If I knew exactly what she wanted, now--"
+
+All this time we had to be smiling and bowing right and left. You can't
+make pretty speeches under such circumstances, or do delicate work. I
+had turned from the main drive, but it was only a little better.
+
+"Let us get out of this, Robert. There are too many people: we can't
+talk here."
+
+We went by streets which you must know, if you are accustomed to have
+this kind of business on hand. I trust you are not: a little of it goes
+a long way. At last we got into a quieter, semi-rural region. Find it
+out for yourself, if you can: I am not going to tell you the exact spots
+made sacred by these confidences. Meantime I had been thinking what to
+say, and it came out with a rush. It is a little easier when you put the
+third person for the second--yes, that is a good idea.
+
+"If I were sure just what she wanted, she should have that thing, if
+there is any power in the human will. But I am clumsy, and thick-headed,
+and make blunders--you have often said so, Clarice, and so has Jane, and
+even Mabel. She I speak of is of finer clay than others. Her nature has
+its own laws, which I can understand only very imperfectly. Yes, you
+know it is so: you have told me that too. O, she need not mind me, nor
+consider me in the least. I am afraid only of offending or hurting her:
+I only want to help and serve her, if I can. If she could look on me
+just as a tool to be used, an instrument in case she desired to produce
+certain sounds--I wish I were more capable of harmony--as a medium
+possibly--. But she will not speak--perhaps she cannot. And how can I
+question her, as if from vulgar curiosity? What right have I?"
+
+Her eyes were wet now, under her veil: I could see it, though nobody
+else could; and we were on a country road.
+
+"Robert, you are the best and dearest man in the world."
+
+"Hardly that. But I am proud of your approval, and will try to earn it.
+I have not earned it yet, you know."
+
+"Brother, you rate me too high, and--and her you speak of. What if she
+had what she wanted within reach, and rudely thrust it away?"
+
+"But she did not do that, dear: she could not. I am sure it is there
+yet, if she would deign to take it."
+
+"If that were certain, she would have others than herself to think of.
+So long as it was or might be merely herself, what could she do?"
+
+I began to see light now. "There _are_ others; and though they are of
+less consequence, her generous heart would not let them suffer. Suppose
+to one of them this meant life or death, hope or despair, use or
+uselessness. Suppose one not like most of us, but simple, sincere, and
+noble, unversed in the world's ways and little loving them, with a great
+heart early clouded and a strong mind warped thereby, had begun to pin
+his faith to her I speak of, and in her eyes to see reconciliation to
+earth and heaven; and then for one rash word, one casual misconception
+such as comes between any of us, had fancied the cup of promise snatched
+away, and in his misjudging innocence gone back to his cave of gloom,
+thinking himself doomed to a state worse than that from which he had
+been nearly rescued. Would she let him stay there forever?"
+
+"I suppose she ought not--if she could help it. It is well he has better
+friends than she has proved. But I cannot talk of this: indeed I cannot.
+It may be weak and foolish, but I cannot. You must do what you have to
+do in your own way.--No, I will not be such a coward, and so basely
+ungrateful. O, I understand your position, Robert. You will have to
+question me: I am sorry, but it is the only way. Ask what you absolutely
+need to know for your own guidance--I know you will ask no more--and I
+will try to answer."
+
+I groaned; and then I could have choked myself. Must my despicable
+selfishness add to her burdens? What are my feelings, my petty
+reluctance, to her interests? Have I not set myself aside? Are you not
+man enough, Robert T., to put a few civil queries to a lady, when she
+has just given you express permission, and even directed you to do so?
+The less you sneer at cads after this, the better.--I was so long making
+up my mind to it that the poor girl had to speak again.
+
+"I am very sorry, brother. It is too bad to burden you so. If I could
+save you the trouble, I would, indeed. O, I appreciate your motives, and
+your delicacy, and all your efforts to shield and spare me--never fancy
+that I did not, I have made more trouble than I am worth. If I could
+only die, and end it all!"
+
+This, as you may imagine, put a speedy end to my shilly-shallying. "That
+would end it all, with a vengeance. Some other people of my acquaintance
+would want to die then too--or before. Dearest Clarice, don't talk so.
+Two things I can't bear--your lowering yourself like this, and your
+exalting me. I am a hound: if I were half a man, I'd have made it easier
+for you. It is only that I distrust my own ability, my own penetration,
+my own judgment. I ought not to need any more instructions--but this
+business is so important, and I'm afraid of making a mess of it."
+
+"Dear Robert, you lay too much stress on the opinion I pretended to have
+of you, in days when I only half knew you and thought far too much of
+myself and too little of others. I know better now. You have the insight
+of sympathy: your heart will help your head. You will not need to ask me
+many questions; you can read between the lines."
+
+"I will try. You need not answer in words when you don't want to: just
+move your head a little, and let me see your eyes. You see, in view of
+my stupidity, the less risks we take the better: I must have some things
+down in black and white. Well then: you said something to Mabel about my
+health, and the fall fishing?"
+
+"Yes. You do need a change; I have had you on my conscience all this
+while. It is all my doing; and you love me so." Her hand stole into
+mine.
+
+"That is certainly so. Do you know where I would go if left to
+myself--if these last months were blotted from the calendar?"
+
+"Of course. Is it necessary to go through all these formalities?"
+
+"I think so: forgive me, dear. I must not trust my intuitions too far:
+they are not as fine as yours.--You know what construction might be put
+on my going there now?--Not by the outside world; it has nothing to do
+with this business, happily. But by any of us; and more especially
+by--ah--by him?"
+
+Her face was set now, her lips closed tight; but she nodded.
+
+"You have no word to send, I suppose?--No, of course not: how could you?
+Then if he asks, or if it is necessary to tell him about you, as of
+course it will be, I am to say merely what I think, so that you are
+nowise responsible?--Yes, I see. But the main thing to do there is to
+make observations, and bring my report to you?--Certainly: he must put
+himself on record before you do, if this is to go on. _If?_ Of course it
+will: it shall be all right, my dear child. Then it follows that I can't
+bring him back with me?--Why no: he must bide his time, and fulfil his
+penance. That is all, I believe: the examination--or the operation, I
+had nearly said--is over, and you have borne it well. Thank you,
+Princess; and forgive me for troubling you. You won't hate me, will you,
+for having to be so horrid, and making you go through all this?--Thank
+you again. Shall we turn homeward now?--Yes, we'll be there by dark."
+
+She sat very still, and paler than I like to see her. As for me, great
+beads of perspiration were on my forehead, though it was a cool day. I
+drove as fast now as the law allows. At last she spoke, and her voice
+trembled. "Brother, how shockingly we have all misjudged you!"
+
+"No, dear: you did not misjudge me at all. But you have been educating
+me, and it is fit the best there is in me should come to the front for
+your service--if it never put its head up before, nor should again. Wait
+till I come back: I've done nothing yet."
+
+"You have done everything. The rest will be easy for you, compared with
+this."
+
+"By Jove, you are right there: I'm glad we're through this part of
+it.--One thing more; about Jane. She loves you as I do; she has been
+berating me for indifference and slackness in the cause. O, she is a
+trump: she was crying bitterly last night because she could do nothing
+to help you, and because I was too lazy and cowardly to move; she has
+egged me on to this. May I tell her what we have agreed on?"
+
+"O yes, tell her anything you like, and Mabel too. I have made you all
+such a poor return: any other woman in my place would have trusted you
+long ago, and been the better for it. But I am so strangely made,
+Robert: my lips are like a seal to my heart. Excuse me at dinner, won't
+you? And promise me one thing--that always, after this, you will come to
+me at once, without scruple, when you want me, on my account or on your
+own. As if I could be reluctant to talk with you! Tell me when you hear
+from him, and when you are going, and--anything else. You won't mind my
+silence, or wait for me to speak? And you must never be afraid of me
+again."
+
+
+
+
+XXIII.
+
+PLAN OF CAMPAIGN.
+
+
+The Princess was seen no more that night, and I got away till dinner
+time. Then I said that she was not coming down, and anxious looks were
+exchanged, and dark ones cast on me. In return I winked at Jane, and
+frowned severely on Herbert, who intercepted the signal and began to
+grin. Mabel, who had seen it too, reproved me for setting the boy a bad
+example; and thus a diversion was effected. While she was seeing after
+the children, my sister carried me off to the library: I made her kiss
+me before I would tell her anything.
+
+"Jane, you may scold me as much as you like after this, and I will never
+say a cross word to you again. Hartman was right: he said you had more
+penetration than any of us, and all sorts of virtues. O, you needn't
+mind about blushing; we are alone. It's true, and I shall hold you in
+honor accordingly."
+
+"Brother, I hope you have not spoiled your work with careless handling.
+I always distrust you when you begin your fine speeches."
+
+"That was in the past, which we have put behind us: they come now from
+the abundance of the heart. We are one, you know, and I am to tell you
+everything. Jane, I've done exactly as you told me, and given you all
+credit. She knows it was your move; and it's all right."
+
+"Then you found that your imagination had created, or greatly magnified,
+the difficulties, and that your fears were unnecessary?"
+
+"Far from it. It was a terrible job for both of us: the mere
+recollection of it is harrowing. Clarice is laid up, and only my
+superior physical strength and fortitude, with an hour's recuperation,
+enabled me to face you all at table."
+
+"Then you must have been rough with her. Brother, how could you?"
+
+"What did I tell you? You drive me, with all your sharp-pointed feminine
+weapons, to a painful task, and then you blame me because you fancy I've
+not discharged it as neatly as the angel Gabriel might. She thinks I
+did, however. Was I rough with you last night? Is it my habit to go
+around trampling on the finer feelings of our nature? In the hour of
+woe, when your heartstrings are torn asunder, you will find me a
+first-class comforter. I thought you knew that already."
+
+"I doubt if Clarice knows it, if you took this tone with her. Can you
+never be serious, Robert?"
+
+"Good heavens, Jane, what would you have? Have I not been serious
+through two weary months, and eminently so all this afternoon? I had to
+be. Let the overstrung bow be relaxed a little now. You remember the
+Prime Minister, who after an exciting debate used to go home and play
+with his children?
+
+"As exciting debates are usually conducted in the small hours, it was
+cruel to disturb their infant slumbers. If you want to do that here you
+will have to get Mabel's consent; it is out of my province. Best play
+with your children before they go to bed."
+
+"Children of a larger growth will serve. Bear with me, sister. My
+faculties have been sorely tasked: I am spent and weary--"
+
+"And you must have somebody to play with. Was that why you were so fond
+of Clarice, because she sometimes humored you? She could hardly serve
+your turn now: the poor child is in no jesting mood. Nor am I; nor ought
+you to be."
+
+"Sister, you wrong me. It is my warmth of heart, my fraternal affection,
+which you have so oft-repulsed. Mine is a poet's nature. You stare, but
+it is so: it is only lately that I discovered the fact myself. Like the
+elder Bulwer, I pine for appreciation, for sympathy--"
+
+"You will continue to pine if you go on like this. I never saw such a
+man for beating about the bush and talking nonsense. What have you
+accomplished?--I don't want to pry into her secrets, or ask her to share
+her confidences, but--"
+
+"Now, Jane, if you have any heart left, I will bring the tear of
+contrition to your eye. I asked and obtained her permission to tell you
+all I know, and all we have just arranged."
+
+"Don't be so long about it, then. What are the arrangements?"
+
+So I imparted them with but little modification or reservation; and
+Mabel coming in presently, I went over the main outlines again. It is
+not every man who could thus communicate state secrets to his family;
+but mine never talk about home affairs to outsiders. One point is, they
+do not attend the Sewing Society: if they did, I should feel less safe.
+They approved in the main.
+
+"It hardly seems fair to Mr. Hartman," said Jane; "but no doubt it's as
+much as you can expect from her."
+
+"I should say it was: why, she is acting nobly. If it were any other
+man, he should, and would, have all the making up to do, instead of
+putting it on us. You see, you--that is, we--don't exactly know what the
+quarrel was. He must have been in the wrong, of course."
+
+"O yes, because you are a man. Now suppose I, being a woman, say, 'She
+must have been in the wrong, of course.'"
+
+"My dears," said Mabel, "let us compromise. They are both human beings;
+probably they were both in the wrong."
+
+"Happy thought," said I. "We'll fix it that way: then they have only to
+kiss and be friends. But still, the man is generally expected to open
+the ball."
+
+"That is," said Jane, "if all does not go smoothly from the start, which
+can hardly be expected, poor Mr. Hartman is to be sacrificed."
+
+"I would not put it just that way; though he, or any man, ought to be
+glad to be sacrificed for Clarice. She is naturally first with me, as I
+should suppose she would be with you--except that, as you pertinently
+observe, you also are a woman. But never fear, Jane; I'll attend to
+Hartman's case too. I hope to act as attorney for both plaintiff and
+defendant, and speedily to reconcile their conflicting interests. It is
+true I am on a prospecting tour: I have no retainer from him yet. But I
+shall soon pocket that, and master his side of the suit. O, I'll take
+him up tenderly, and handle with care."
+
+"Of course you will, Robert," said Mabel. "If there is any quality for
+which you are distinguished, it is the even-tempered justice of your
+mind. You can argue on both sides of a case with equal fluency and
+force, and that quite independent of your personal predilections."
+
+"Just so. But I fear Jane has not the same confidence in my fairness and
+ability with you, my dear. You will have to talk to her privately, and
+bring her to a proper frame of mind. She is my only and much loved
+sister, and I can't go till she has faith in me."
+
+"It is you who are not in a proper frame of mind as to Mr. Hartman's
+side of this affair, brother. A man has no sympathy, no charity, for
+another man. You can be all tenderness, and consideration, and faith,
+and loyalty, to a woman--when she has Clarice's looks; but when it is
+only an old friend who trusts you, you will laugh, and sneer, and amuse
+yourself at his expense, and either delude him or hopelessly estrange
+him."
+
+"Did you ever hear the like? Yesterday, and the day before, she insisted
+on my going; and now, when I am all on fire to go, she throws cold water
+on my zeal, and--"
+
+Here my wife interrupted me. "Jane, it is you who show undue levity. You
+forget that Clarice is my cousin; that is why Robert is so fond of her,
+and espouses her cause so warmly. I think it is very good of him, and
+very generous."
+
+"Now you have hit it: Jane, hide your diminished head. Mabel, if Hartman
+can prove affinity with you, I will take just as much pains for him as
+for Clarice. But, sister, you and I must be one. I tell you what I will
+do: I will stay at home all next Sunday, and let you preach to me: then,
+if you can't fill me to the nozzle with your views, whose fault will it
+be? Or you might go along, as you wanted to in May. Then you could
+personally superintend the campaign."
+
+"My only hope is that you will sober down before you get there. In this
+mood you could do no good at all."
+
+"That's where you are mistaken. Jim expects me to brighten him up: _he_
+is not wholly without a sense of humor. But if you think I am going
+there for amusement, you are out again. I shall take Young's Night
+Thoughts, and Hervey's Meditations among the Tombs, and a volume or two
+of sermons, to read on the way, and get my mind attuned to the
+atmosphere of the place. My jokes there will be solemn and elaborate
+offerings, prompted solely by a humane sense of necessity. But, Jane,
+you are in a minority of one. Clarice has confidence in me: you ask her.
+And so has Mabel: haven't you, my love?"
+
+"Yes, certainly. Why, Jane, Robert is the only person who can possibly
+manage this affair, since you and I can't well go, and Clarice does not
+like to speak out herself. We could not commit it to a stranger, you
+know. Robert knew Mr. Hartman before any of us did; they were old
+friends at college. He is the natural link between them, you might say.
+If he will only remember not to laugh in the wrong places, as he did
+that time we took him to church, when the minister thumped his sermon
+off the pulpit, and not to tell the wrong stories, as he so often does
+at table, and not to yawn when Mr. Hartman explains how badly he has
+been feeling since he left us, he will do very well. You can't expect
+him to take the same interest in Mr. Hartman as in Clarice: would he
+care for us as he does, if we were men? Jane, he is pointed out by
+Providence as the means of reconciling them. You must see that he is to
+be trusted entirely. Under his supervision it will all come right: I
+said so from the beginning."
+
+After this, there seemed no need of further remarks. Mabel withdrew
+early, and I went out to smoke. When I came back, I found Jane again in
+tears.
+
+"Brother, tell me that you were only playing with me, and that you are
+really in earnest about this matter, and will do your best to set it
+straight."
+
+"My dear sister, I will tell you anything you like, if you will only
+believe me; what is the use, if you won't? Do you suppose I care less
+for Clarice's happiness than you do--or for Jim's either? I wish you
+would talk to her, and let her clarify your ideas. Faith, as you may
+have heard in church, is a saving grace, and essential to peace of mind.
+Within a month or two you will see whether I fail my friends or not, and
+then perhaps you will learn to trust me. Jane, I believe in you now,
+even if you don't believe in me; I would do almost anything to please
+you. You want me to change my nature: I would do even that, but it is so
+expensive, and then the new one might not fit as well as what I have
+now. You are very exacting, but you can't quarrel with me, because I
+will be no party to such proceedings."
+
+"Brother, it all rests with you. If you will bring them together, I will
+never doubt you again."
+
+"No, my dear, I'll not hold you to that. You shall doubt me as often as
+you like; but I will keep my promises all the same."
+
+You see, I am trying new tactics with Jane now. Magnanimity, patient
+forgiveness of injuries, disinterested and persistent affection, will in
+time soften the most obdurate. After Clarice goes off, there will be so
+few of us left that I can't afford to be on any but the best terms with
+such as remain. And then my sister, when she is willing to do
+herself--and me--justice, has some quite creditable traits.
+
+
+
+
+XXIV.
+
+TO WAYBACK AGAIN.
+
+
+I pass succeeding interviews, of which there were several. Poor Clarice
+had little to say, but was quite willing to listen to any suggestions of
+mine. What Jane unkindly calls beating about the bush is necessary with
+a person of her sensitive organization. She seems to feel that she has
+fallen from her old estate, and is not yet established in a new one. I
+am satisfied that she never would have made those admissions, slight as
+they are, and allowed me to go on this secret embassy, if she had only
+herself to consider. For the first time duty to others has come into
+collision with her pride, and shaken the citadel of her reserve. Always
+hitherto she has had things and people come to her; the exercise has
+been in keeping them off. To want, to seek, to invite--to lift a finger,
+unless in the way of small and graceful social management--this is new
+to her, and she takes it hard. The thing I have to do beyond all others
+is to preserve her dignity: she knows I can be trusted for that, though
+Jane does not. I can't blame Jane: she has never seen me conduct an
+affair like this, nor has any one else, for the simple reason that I
+never had it to do till now. I am only her brother: she has had
+experience of all my failings, and is imperfectly acquainted with my
+resources. Mabel is more satisfactory. She has not figured as much as
+some others in this chronicle; connubial modesty prevents my making her
+prominent. But she too possesses some very good traits; especially she
+has a way of bringing forward and dwelling upon points which nobody else
+would think of mentioning. She used to scold me sometimes, but that was
+chiefly when she thought I was not treating Clarice well. She lays
+great stress on ties of blood, and considers herself natural guardian
+and defender to the Princess, whom she sometimes forgets that I knew for
+fifteen years before I ever met her. Clarice talks little with her, and
+no more with Jane: I really believe that her only confidences--which are
+not much, if measured by words--have been made to me. But they are very
+fond of each other all the same. I suppose you can understand that much
+affection can exist with little intimacy. The Princess was cast in her
+own peculiar mould: I don't want to see many more like her, for they
+would be poor imitations. None of us ever attempt to pry into her inner
+life--or to meddle with her outward life either; when she wants anything
+of any of us, we are ready, and there it ends. She knows we love her,
+and that is enough.
+
+Hartman, now, is much less impenetrable; though I suppose he will shut
+himself up like an oyster over the dubious pearl of his precious secret,
+and give me no end of trouble to extract his contents. But I possess a
+knife which is able to open his shell. He has answered my letter
+promptly, and expects me presently. Does he think I am going up there
+merely to fish and hunt, and hear him talk a lot of rubbish about the
+Vanity of Life? Or does he scent my deeper motives--discern the
+Ethiopian within the encompassing pale, as they say in Boston? If so, he
+is apparently as willing to be operated on as he was before. At any rate
+he is a gentleman, and knows how to respect a woman--when he takes time
+to think about it. This is a delicate business for him as well as for
+the lady--and there is where the awkwardness comes in: from his point of
+view he can't speak out, any more than she. Well, I'll turn him inside
+out and manipulate him, if it takes the whole week. Happily I don't have
+to consider him as I did Clarice; as Jane intimates, a man can't expect
+to have his feelings spared in the process. What are a man's feelings
+anyway, compared with a woman's? And what rights has he as against hers?
+No: between man and man all that can be needed is plain speech and manly
+frankness--aided by a little diplomacy. I'll break you to pieces, James
+H., if you are fractious; and I've got the weapons to do it with. It is
+all for your good, and you'll bless me the rest of your life. One thing
+must be understood: I can't have you coming to my place and practising
+your wild backwoods manners on my family, and then sneaking off in the
+night and evading responsibility. The next time you come you will have
+to behave yourself, and to stay till Somebody has had enough of you.
+
+Mabel thinks I ought to enliven the account of my trip with descriptions
+of scenery and the like. But a rock is a rock, and a field is a field,
+and who wants to know whether a tree is elm or maple? I am not a
+geological survey, and you can get mountains enough from Craddock. Not
+that I am insensible to the beauties of Nature--as I have proved before
+now. How often have I sat upon an eminence, and admiringly gazed at the
+departing luminary as he sank slowly to rest, flooding hill and valley
+with tints which a painter might strive in vain to reproduce! I would
+have to sit there some time to see it all, for I have noticed that with
+us the Sunset proper does not begin till after the Setting of the Sun is
+finished. And when the distant mountains assumed a robe of royal purple,
+and 'the death-smile of the dying day' lingered pathetically on the
+horizon, my thoughts would soar to the Celestial City, and long to rest
+themselves upon its pavement of liquid gold. I heard Dr. Chapin say
+these last words at the first lecture I ever attended, and it struck my
+infant intelligence that they ought to be preserved. And I too might be
+a poet if I lived in the country, in constant communion with Nature,
+abandoning my soul to her maternal caress. But alas, the stir, the
+scramble, the mad whirl of city life, the debasing contact with low
+material minds, the daily study of Prices Current, make even of me a
+muckworm. Still, I might work up a brook or two after I get to the
+woods, or expatiate on a seven-pound trout: my conscience forbids me to
+weigh them higher, for I never saw any above three. And yet some men
+will talk familiarly of ten-pounders!--Or I might analyze the mediaeval
+garments of Hodge and his old Poll. As for the Wayback houses, they are
+like any other habitations, only less of them, and few and far between:
+Jim's is the best, and it is nothing to brag of. You can see much better
+buildings any day on Broadway. The rural parts, as Lord Bacon observed,
+are but a den of savage men. It is to see one of these, and resume the
+interrupted process of civilizing him, that I am about starting on this
+philanthropic journey, leaving my happy home and the advantages of a
+metropolis. If the savage breast is open to ennobling influences, it
+shall be soothed and charmed by the music of my discourse. What loftier,
+more disinterested task than to reclaim the wanderer, and guide the
+penitent in the way wherein he should go? I began this soul-raising
+labor some time ago, but an unexpected hitch occurred in the proceeding:
+there must be no more such now.
+
+I found Hodge awaiting me at the station: he said that Hartman was
+arranging the tackle for to-morrow. The fact is, it is one of Jim's
+notions not to keep a horse, but to depend on Hodge for his
+communications with the outside world; and another never to see the
+railroad when he can help it.
+
+"Well, old man," I said as the effete steed began laboriously to get in
+motion, "how is your valuable health?"
+
+"Pooty tollable. How's them gells o' yourn as wanted to foller ye up
+here las' time?"
+
+"The ladies are reasonably well, and will be flattered by your
+inquiries. How is Mr. Hartman?"
+
+"Wall, Square, I ain't none too satyfied 'bout him. He don't say nothin
+to nobody, but he seems kinder low in his mind, like. Ever sence you
+played that durn trick on me and him, he's ben someways diffurnt. He--"
+
+"Look here, my aged friend; why should you accuse me of playing durn
+tricks on people? To what circumstance do you allude?"
+
+"I ain't alludin' to nothin; I says it out plain. If ye don't know,
+Id'no as I'm called to tell ye. Me an' Hartman was gittin on fust rate,
+till ye come and upsot us; we ain't used to bein upsot. So when our
+commydations wan't good enough for ye an' yer gells, ye went and got
+Hartman down thar in the city, or wharever 'twas. An' Id'no what ye done
+to him thar, an' I spose it's no good to ask a feller like ye; but he
+ain't ben the same man sence. That's how _he_ is. He uster be chipper,
+an' peart, an' clost frens with me; an' now he don't say nothin. Ye can
+see fur yerself pooty durn soon."
+
+And the native bestowed on me a malign glance. I trotted him out and
+entertained myself with his paces (which were livelier than those of his
+nag) for the next three hours. Those who like nature unadorned can find
+it here. As a specimen of unbridled rancor Hodge deserves a prize. I
+believe I have got to the bottom of his luminous intellect--not that it
+was worth the labor, if one had anything else to do. Supposing himself
+Jim's most intimate friend, he is jealous of me as a rival in that
+capacity; and he has never forgiven the slight put on his establishment
+in connection with the girls' proposed visit. I partly appeased him by
+suggesting that he supply the shanty with a new signboard labeled
+'Palace Hotel.' Fortunately I don't have to put up there this time.
+
+Of course he told me a lot of lies. A casual eye could see no change in
+the recluse: his head does not hang down on his breast, his locks are
+not long and matted, his sighs do not resound through the primeval
+forest and scare away the panthers. When you look closely at him, or
+have been with him long enough, you can see that he is a little thinner,
+a little older, a little less inclined to chaff--as well he may be.
+Chaffing is a bad habit anyway, and was his worst fault when I was here
+before; so far, his woes have improved him. He met me cordially enough,
+but with no wild demonstration: he seems no nearer insanity than last
+May. He asked after Mabel, Jane, and the children, but not after
+Clarice; nor did I mention her, of course. It was not a very pleasant
+evening, for each of us was watching the other to see what he would say.
+He knows as well as I do that the enemy has troops in reserve: he is not
+so unsuspicious as he was. He did not ventilate his theories to any
+great extent, nor did I see my way to expound my great scheme for the
+Ascertainment of Truth: the ground ought to be in good condition before
+you drop seed of such value upon it.
+
+If I thought things would go on like this, I should begin to grumble;
+but we shall probably get broken in to each other in a day or two, and
+then I can thaw him out. We talked glittering generalities for a
+while--the weather, and the war prospects abroad, and the chances of
+getting deer on the other side of a mountain not far away--like any
+commonplace boobies at a county fair. Then he proposed for next morning
+a stream I had not seen, some distance off, which would necessitate a
+start before daybreak: so I pretended to be tired from the journey, and
+we turned in early.
+
+
+
+
+XXV.
+
+A WILD BROOK.
+
+
+Next day we went some miles along a lonely road, and then through the
+fields of an abandoned farm. I don't wonder they abandoned it; I am only
+sorry for the poor wretch who once cherished the delusive dream of
+scratching a living there; when he died or went back to Canada, he
+couldn't well be worse off. Nature had but partially reclaimed the land,
+and we tramped through weeds and grass up to our middle; one might as
+well be wading a fair-sized river. You have no idea of the dew up here
+till you have tried it. After a while we struck into the woods, and such
+woods you never saw--at least I hope so for your sake. Rocks, big and
+little, generally of the most unchristian shapes--not picturesque, but
+sprawling; underbrush wherever it had a chance to grow: you could
+scarcely find a foot of smooth ground. The worst of it was the way the
+trees lay around loose. The region had not been burned over, at least
+not for many years; but it did seem to have been cursed, as if Adam's
+fall had been enacted there. The monarchs of the forest, for countless
+generations, had indulged a depraved propensity to fall also, and across
+each other in all possible directions. It was such an abattis as I trust
+our men, in the war, never had to fight their way through: here it was
+bad enough without anybody to shoot at you. I would go rods out of my
+way to get around a great bowlder, and come upon a conglomeration of big
+trees which had tumbled about till they made a Virginia fence fifteen
+feet high. Climbing is all very well in its way, but I don't like this
+kind. The queer thing was that they had not the sense to decay and
+crumble; the wood was mostly sound enough to be standing yet. I asked
+Hartman why they did not haul off all this timber, and he said there was
+no place to haul it to, nor any way to haul it, nor anybody to do the
+hauling; that fuel was cheap, and the few inhabitants had plenty nearer
+home; and besides, that it was most ornamental and useful where it
+was--it afforded exercise to the bodily and spiritual muscles of any
+anglers from the city who might come that way like me. "You forget the
+characteristics of this region, which are its advantages in my view. You
+can get turnpike roads, and teams, and sawmills, nearer home. You come
+up here to be away from the busy haunts, you know, and to see Nature in
+her native purity. This stream that I am taking you to is very seldom
+visited."
+
+"I should think it would be, if this is the way to get to it," I said,
+as I fell over a root and barked my nose and knees. "What the deuce did
+we come to such a blanked place for?"
+
+"For trout: you said they were what you wanted. The less fishermen, the
+more fish. This is the best brook in the county, because it is the least
+accessible. I rarely come here myself: I've been saving it up this year
+for you."
+
+We went on, our progress marked by frequent delays and accidents; that
+it was marked by no profanity was due merely to Jim's reticence and to
+my exceptional manners and principles. After what seemed to me about
+twenty miles--though he said it was only one and a half--of this
+singularly forsaken country, he cried, "Look out now, or you'll fall in.
+Here is the brook."
+
+It made noise enough to be heard a long way off, but I thought that was
+something else--some kobolds or other abnormal beings, probably, working
+at their forges underground. The brook itself was well enough, but it
+did not seem to belong there; you could not see it till you were on the
+edge of it. I have fished a good many streams, and tramped through all
+sorts of woods, but I never saw such a place as that before, and I never
+want to again. We had left our rods at home; high-toned anglers who
+carry fancy tackle through such regions leave it along the painful way
+in small pieces. So we carried merely our baskets--which were
+encumbrance enough--and what we had in our pockets. You can cut a pole
+anywhere, and it does not want to be a long one either: take your
+fly-book if you like, but worms are as good or better. There was no use
+of wading: you would be more likely to scare the fish so than by staying
+on the bank, where they could never see you; the difficulty was to see
+far enough to throw in five feet of line. It was a superior brook--all
+but the getting to it, and, as I afterwards found, away from it. If it
+could be removed from its loathsome surroundings and put down in a
+decent country, I would go there every year. I was going to say that
+some of the cascades were forty feet high, till I remembered that trout
+cannot climb as far as that.
+
+"Don't lose your balance," said Jim; "these fish are fierce." They were,
+in the wilder parts. They would bite like mad, and then wriggle and
+wrench themselves off the hook before you could get them up the bank. I
+never saw or heard of such ferocity, except in the celebrated scaly
+warrior which chased an equally famous fisherman all over an Adirondack
+lake, jumped across his boat several times, and, if I remember rightly,
+bit him on the nose. No such adventure fell to my lot on this occasion,
+though I thought that some of them, when sufficiently near my face,
+grinned at me as they parted company. Yet none of them were over half a
+pound, and most of them much less. You can see that this healthful
+pastime does not produce its usual demoralizing effect on me. When we
+reached a flat piece of ground, the water would become quiet and the
+manners of the fish more humane, so that they would come out like
+chubs. I stood in one spot under a tree, and took twenty-nine in
+succession. My sister, looking over these memoirs, suggests that they
+probably _were_ chubs; but Hartman, who was behind me then, came up and
+saw them, so I have his evidence. He said it was a spawning bed, and I
+ought to put the twenty-nine back. Who would have thought him capable of
+such mean jealousy? But he cannot play his tricks on me.
+
+About two P.M. he said we had better start.
+
+"Why, we don't want to reach home much before dark," said I.
+
+"No danger of it. It's much worse getting out of this than getting in.
+You saw how much path there is: we can't go straight, and it's all
+chance where we strike the fields. You'd better eat what you've got, and
+drink all you can: there's no water between this and the road."
+
+"Didn't you take landmarks? Look at the mountains all round."
+
+"They are like the mountains about the Dark Tower Childe Roland came to.
+I've been here twice before, and missed the way back both times. Nobody
+ever got out of here without going a circuit to the right, and taking
+his chances. The natives are afraid to come here: they say there are
+ghosts--the ghosts of those who got lost of old, and were eaten by
+bears. That's how we took so many trout. Look to your belt now, and the
+straps of your basket. The last time I was here, the other fellow lost
+his fish in the woods, and I made him go back and hunt them up: it was
+near night before he found them, and his basket was not much heavier
+than yours is now. If we should have to camp out, we can build a fire,
+cook some of the fish, and probably avoid freezing: but we'd better try
+to get out."
+
+I thought so too, and supposed he was trying to scare me; but the sun
+was nearly down when we saw the fields. We went four times too far,
+through that beastly region of rocks and dead trees: I think our course
+was mainly northwest by south-southeast. At last we got back to the
+house, tired and hungry; but Jim's old housekeeper is a pretty good cook
+for a native, and there is no better supper than trout that were in the
+water the same day.
+
+
+
+
+XXVI.
+
+AN INTRACTABLE PATIENT.
+
+
+When we were settled down to our pipes, I said, "Is this the way you
+treat the friends of your youth, when they entrust life and limb to your
+hospitality?"
+
+"I give 'em the best I've got: sorry if it doesn't suit. There's no
+Delmonico's round the corner, here. What's the matter with you, old
+man?"
+
+"O, it's not your housekeeping: that's all right. But why did you lead
+me such a dance, and get me lost in that unconscionable doghole of a
+wilderness?"
+
+"Did you ever take so many fish out of a brook in one day before? No, of
+course you didn't. Well, that's why. I told you it would be a rough
+expedition; but I thought you came here to rough it. You didn't expect
+balls and a casino, did you? You were here last May."
+
+"Last May I saw nothing as bad as this to-day. You haven't been playing
+it on me, I hope? Jim, have you got any grudge against me?"
+
+"What should I have? You're deucedly suspicious and sensitive--far more
+so than I was with you. I believe I let you play on me to your heart's
+content, and never complained--did I?"
+
+"Jim, I don't like this. There's a change in you: Hodge said so, and I
+didn't believe him. You're not the same man."
+
+"O, we all change--from year to year, and from day to day. But I ought
+never to have left these woods, Bob, and that's the truth. You should
+have let me stay here as I was."
+
+"I meant it in all kindness, for your good, Jim. Surely you'll do me the
+justice to acknowledge that."
+
+"No doubt. But your philanthropic experiments are apt to be damnably
+expensive to the patient."
+
+"You couldn't be much worse than you were, according to your own
+account. Any change ought to have been for the better."
+
+"That was your assumption. Do I strike you as being changed for the
+better?"
+
+"Well, no, you don't--not to put too fine a point upon it."
+
+He certainly does not. His whole manner is altered. His former
+gentleness has given way to rough harshness. You have seen how he treats
+me. It may be his best, as he says; if so, his best is far from good.
+His bitterness used to be, if I may say so, in the abstract, and leveled
+against abstractions; now it seems to have a painfully concrete
+character and aim. His estrangement from the scheme of things, or from
+his kind at least, was purely intellectual, leaving his heart no more
+affected than the heart usually is by brain-disorders; now it is moral.
+He is like a man tormented by remorse, or regrets as savage. But I think
+I know a cure for his complaint.
+
+After a pause he said, "I don't want to blame you, Bob, and I don't
+propose to whine. Nor was it any great matter what came to me, wherever
+it might come from. I thought I was done with the world, and had nothing
+to fear from it, except being bored and disgusted. There was only one
+thing I cared about, and that I supposed I could keep. I was mistaken.
+It was my little ewe lamb--all I had; and they took it from me."
+
+"I thought your live stock was confined to dogs, and a cow, and the
+tomcat--by the way, I don't see him any more. I didn't know you went
+into sheep. Was Tommy the ewe-lamb, and did the dogs play Nathan and
+David with him?"
+
+This I said, thinking to cheer him up a bit; but he only scowled.
+Really, I must remember Mabel's caution about telling the wrong stories
+and laughing in the wrong places. "Well, Jim, what was 'it' that you
+valued so, and who were 'they' who took it away?"
+
+"The prince of the power of the air; the spirit that walks in darkness,
+and rules in the children thereof. The beautiful order of things
+generally, and their incurable depravity. All these are one, and the
+name doesn't matter. If you urged me to it, I might say that you had
+played a very passable David to my Uriah."
+
+"Who--I? I'm not a sheep-stealer. What would I want to hurt you for?
+Jim, you're joking, and it's a joke of doubtful taste."
+
+"Do I look like it? _You_ might find a joke in this: you can find them
+everywhere. I can't."
+
+"As I told you, you take Life too seriously. If you will be more
+specific, and tell me what you have lost, perhaps I can help you to find
+it."
+
+"Some losses are irrecoverable. You'd better let it alone, Bob; you'd
+better have let me alone before, as I've said. You mean well enough; but
+it's ill meddling with another man's life. You don't know what
+responsibility you take, or what effect you may produce. I don't say
+that it's the worst of all possible worlds, but it is such that each of
+us had best go his own way, and keep clear of the others. When one
+forgets that safe rule, and mixes with his kind, only harm seems to come
+of it."
+
+"If that is so, I might better have staid at home now. Methinks your
+written hand is different from your spoken. I mean--"
+
+"O yes, when I write I try to come out of myself and be decently civil;
+and so I should to a chance visitor for five minutes, or an hour maybe.
+But I can't keep it up all day--not to say for a week. You'll have to
+see the facts, and bear with them. I don't want to be rough on you; but
+I'm not myself--or not what I was before, or supposed myself to be. It's
+all in the plan, no doubt; we are fulfilling the beneficent intentions
+of Nature. Perhaps I'm breaking down, and the end is not so far off as
+we thought. If so, so much the better: we'll escape that sad old age you
+prophesied."
+
+Now I am not lacking in humanity, but it does not afflict me as it did
+six months ago to hear Jim go on in this way. I know what is the matter
+with him now, and what he is driving at, though I must assume ignorance
+for a while yet. The patient must tell his symptoms, and then the doctor
+will give him the physic he needs, and proceed to make a new man of him.
+That is what I am after now, and the good work must not be spoiled by
+undue haste. So I put on a decorous air of sympathy, and said,
+
+"That's all bosh, you know. If anything is the matter with you
+physically, I ought to hear about it; but I don't believe there is. As
+for the mind, we are all subject to gloomy moods and periods of
+depression; but they pass, Jim--they pass. You believed in friendship
+before; hadn't you better tell me what you think ails you?"
+
+"I can't talk about it, except in this roundabout way: what's the use?
+Best keep to broad principles: the particular case only illustrates the
+general law. I knew it of old: what business had I to expose myself
+again? What would you do with a child who will keep on playing about
+moving cars, or mill machinery? Let him fall under the wheels, and rid
+the earth of an idiot."
+
+"O no: pull him out in time, and he'll learn better. Well, Jim, you
+might at least tell me what hand I had in this catastrophe."
+
+"O, none, none whatever: how should you? You never laid any plots for
+me, and used me for your mirth. You never devised an elaborately
+concealed ambush, and smoothed it over till I was in the snare. That
+would be foreign to your open and candid nature. It is very good fun to
+practice on unsuspecting innocence; but you are far above that."
+
+"See here, Hartman: you talk as if my house were a den of iniquity. If
+so, I was not aware of it till now. Your ill opinion has not thus far
+been reciprocated. We entertain none but kind feelings toward you: we
+all regretted your hasty departure. You were received as a friend, and
+treated as such, I believe. My wife and sister often speak of you: you
+could command their fullest sympathy in this, or any trouble, real or
+imaginary."
+
+"That I never doubted: I owe them nothing but pleasant memories, and
+thankful good will.--You need not stare at me so: I make no charges, and
+imply none.--Well, if you must have it, I can say that every member of
+your family has my absolute respect,--down to the twins; do you
+understand? If I have any grudge, it is toward you alone."
+
+It was plain that he forced himself to say this--or some of it--as if it
+were coming perilously near a name he could not utter. He is having his
+bad time now, as I had mine last week. It is his own fault: he has no
+need to be so censorious. He _had_ to say what he did, or there would be
+trouble: some things a man cannot stand, and my best friend would be my
+friend no longer, if he ventured to reflect upon the Princess.
+
+"I'm glad to hear you say so: the difficulty is simple then, and easily
+settled. You've got no pistols, of course, and I didn't bring mine. I'll
+take your rifle, and you can borrow Hodge's old shotgun: if it bursts,
+it won't be much loss--only you mustn't come too near me with it.
+There's no danger of interference from the police up here, I judge? But
+I say, what shall we do for a surgeon?"
+
+"There you go again, turning everything into a jest. Can you never be
+serious, man?"
+
+"Try to say something original, James: that is stale. Jane asks me that
+about six times a day, and Mabel frequently, and--and the others. I was
+serious with you just now, or nearly: had I been entirely so, I might
+have knocked the top of your head off, and then they would have blamed
+me at home. You see, they think you are more of a man than you show
+yourself. To be serious all the time is the most serious mistake one can
+make in life; and I want no worse example than you. When I go back to
+town I shall write the Decline and Fall of an Alleged Seeker after
+Truth, who missed it by taking things too seriously. You are too stiff
+and narrow and rigid and dogmatic: you take one point of view and stick
+to it like grim death. You can't get at Truth in that way."
+
+"I suppose you would stand on your head and look at it upside down, and
+then turn a back somersault and view it from between your legs."
+
+"You express it inelegantly, but you have caught the idea. Truth is not
+a half pound package done up in brown paper and permanently deposited in
+one corner of the pantry shelf; she is big and various and active. While
+you have your head fixed in the iron grip and are staring at the sign
+'Terms Cash,' she is off to the other side of the room--and you don't
+make a good picture at all in that constrained attitude. Your mind has
+got to be nimble and unbiassed if you want to overtake her, because she
+is always changing: that is, she appears in new and--to you--unexpected
+places. I gave you a hint of this in May, and another last summer, but
+you seem to have forgotten it. O, I could sit here all night and
+explain it to you, if you were in the right frame of mind."
+
+"No doubt: happily I am not. What has this to do with your defence of
+buffoonery, and apotheosis of clowns and pantomimes?"
+
+"A pantomime is a very good thing in its way. But that is your
+illustration; I would rather say opera bouffe, which is probably the
+truest copy of Life--if we were limited to one kind. But we are not: I
+tell you, we must have all sorts. There is tragedy in Life, and
+comedy--that more especially; a little of the other goes a long way. But
+they are always mixed--not kept apart, and one alone taken in large and
+frequent doses, after your fashion. Shakespeare understood his business
+pretty well; though, if I had been he, I would have put in more of those
+light and graceful touches which hit us where we live, and make the
+whole world kin."
+
+"Like the Dromios, or the Carriers in Henry Fourth."
+
+"Or the Gravediggers; they are more to your purpose. I want you to see
+that Humor is the general solvent and reconciler, the key that opens
+most locks: a feeling for it, well developed, would be money in your
+pocket. Things don't go to suit you, and you think your powers of the
+air are frowning, the universe a vault, and the canopy a funeral pall:
+perhaps the powers are only laughing at you, and want you to smile with
+them. If you could do that, it would let in light on your darkness. Any
+situation, properly viewed, has its amusing elements: if you ignore
+them, you fail to understand the whole. What did Heine say about his
+irregular Latin nouns? That his knowledge of them, in many a gloomy
+hour, supplied much inward consolation and delight. You ought to read
+him more, Jim."
+
+"And Josh Billings, and Bill Nye. Well, that's enough of your wisdom for
+to-night. We must arrange for to-morrow. Are you up to another
+scramble?"
+
+"Not like to-day's. Let's take in some decent scenery along with the
+trout."
+
+"There is a wild gorge ten miles off, with a brook in it. We can take
+Hodge's mare, put up at a house, and work down the ravine. It's not so
+bad as the last place, nor so good for fish." I agreed, and we went to
+bed.
+
+You may think I am humoring Hartman too much, and letting him shirk the
+subject. But I have a week--more if necessary--and I don't want to be
+too hard on him. He'll thaw out by degrees: so long as he doesn't blame
+Clarice, it is all right. He has got my idea about the way to discover
+Truth now, and it will work in his brain, and soften him. I know Jim: he
+never seems to take hold at first, but he comes round in time. You just
+wait, and you will see whether I know what I am about.
+
+
+
+
+XXVII.
+
+SCENERY IMPROVED.
+
+
+The next day we drove to a farmhouse which had annexed some rather
+decent fields for that region. On one side was tolerably level ground,
+on the other a cut between two savage mountains. Down this we made our
+way, taking presently the bed of a small brook: woodroad or footpath
+never can be there. For a while there was room to walk on dry land: soon
+the cliffs closed in upon us, on the right rising sheer, on the left
+sloping, but steeper than I would want to climb. At first the stream was
+very shallow and narrow, and the fish small and scarce; but think of the
+creatures that must come there to drink at night! It was the only
+watercourse for miles, Jim said. He pointed out the tracks of a bear or
+two, and he thought of a panther; but it is not here I should choose to
+hunt--your game might have you at a disadvantage. He tried to make me
+believe that even now some of these beasts might catch us; but that was
+simply to discourage me from going after them, later on: Jim does not
+like the chase. _My_ jokes are in better taste: as he is now, I believe
+the bears could beat him in manners. Near noon we found a place to sit
+down, where we could see a little of the crags, and proceeded to
+assimilate our frugal lunch.
+
+"Hartman," said I, "I should think you would want to live up to your
+scenery, as the ladies do to their blue china. Look at this majestic
+cliff, whose scarred and aged front, frowning upon these lonesome trout
+since the creation, has never been profaned by mortal foot."
+
+"Probably not. People very seldom come here, and when they do, they
+wouldn't be fools enough to try to climb up. They couldn't do it, and it
+wouldn't pay if they could."
+
+"Well, it is grand, anyway, and it ought to quicken your soul to grand
+thoughts. In such a scene you ought to feel stirring within you noble
+sympathies and resolves."
+
+"I can't see much grandeur in human nature, Bob, nor any in myself. If
+you had thought yourself a gentleman, and suddenly awaked to the fact
+that you were a cad and a scoundrel, you would be apt to change your
+tune, and drop the high notes."
+
+Oho, I thought, he is coming to the point. While I was meditating how to
+utilize this confidence, a small piece of rock fell from above upon the
+edge of my toes: if it had been a large piece, and fallen on my head,
+you would have missed this moral tale. When I had expressed my
+sentiments, he said, "I can't insure you against accidents,--any more
+than you did me. If I had brought you here in spring, you might growl.
+The rocks are loose then, and it is dangerous. A man was killed once
+just below here, and his body never found till the year after." This
+trivial occurrence seemed to turn his thoughts away from the important
+topic, and I could not get him back to it.
+
+It was a warm day for the season: once in a while it will be hotter in
+these sylvan solitudes than it is in New York. While we were in the
+brook we did not mind that, for we could drop every five minutes and
+drink. I suppose I consumed some nine gallons of _aqua pura_ during the
+morning: you can do this with impunity, because there is no ice in it,
+and the bacteria are of the most wholesome kind. But by and by we
+finished with the gorge: then we had to go across a sort of common, up
+hill. There was no water now, and it was hot. After more trees, and a
+steeper ascent, Jim said, "You'll get a view now." We came out on an
+open place, with steep rocks beneath. Before us lay a wilderness, with
+clearings here and there, and a background of mountains. The forests
+were in their early November bloom; the country looked one great flower.
+In the Alps or the Rockies they can give this odds, and beat it easily,
+but it was pretty well for eastern America--and an occasion to be
+improved. "Jim, if the crags don't appeal to you, this might. If you
+don't feel up to moral grandeur, why not go in for peace? Let your
+perturbed spirit catch the note of harmony from this landscape, and
+drink in purity from this air."
+
+"That is all very fine, and you would make a pretty fair exhorter--with
+practice. But natural theology is not in my line. These hills look
+nicely now, but it will be different within a month. If I am to learn
+peace from a fine day, what from a stormy one? Nature changes for the
+worse like us, and with less shame: she has no regrets for the past, no
+care to keep up appearances or make a show of consistency."
+
+"I fear you have been learning of Nature on her wrong side then. Half
+confidences are in bad taste, Jim. What is it you keep hinting at? It
+ought to be murder, from the airs you put on about it."
+
+"Leave that for to-night, when we have nothing better to attend to.
+There is another brook here we ought to try."
+
+
+
+
+XXVIII.
+
+DIPLOMACY.
+
+
+We got back reasonably early, much less tired than the day before. Now,
+I thought, for some progress. "Well, Jim, you wanted to unfold your tale
+to-night."
+
+"That is, you wanted to ask me about it. You can't do any good, and I
+don't find speech a safety-valve: but I suppose it is my duty to supply
+you with amusement. So get on, and say what is on your mind."
+
+He takes this tone to conceal his morbid yearning to ease his bosom of
+its perilous stuff: I will have his coil unwound pretty soon. If I were
+not here, he would probably be whispering her name under the solemn
+stars, and shouting it in tragic tones on the lonely mountain-top;
+sighing it under the waterfalls, and expecting the trout to echo it. He
+talks about fishing the home brook the first rainy day, but he must have
+scared all the fish away from there with his sentiment. I must remember
+to notice whether 'C. E.' is carved about the forest. He will pretend to
+hold back; but I will get it out of him.--I made this pause long enough
+to let him prepare for the examination on which depends his admission
+into the civil service, so to speak--he will have to be more civil and
+serviceable than hitherto if he is to pass it, and follow me back to
+town--and indeed his whole future.
+
+"You say you have lost something valuable. All you had, you said it was;
+but that is nonsense. You have health, and more money than you want, and
+brains and education, of which you are making very poor use, and
+friends, whom you are treating badly. I can't think what you have
+lost--unless it was your heart, perhaps." This I brought in in the way
+of afterthought, as if it had suddenly occurred to me. He started, but
+assumed a tone of cynical indifference.
+
+"My heart? Would I sit down and howl over that? What use have I for a
+heart, any more than for a poodle? And if I had one, what does it matter
+what may have become of it?"
+
+"Strayed or stolen, probably. Such things have happened, especially when
+persons of the opposite sex are about. They are apt to attach themselves
+to poodles, and vice versa. But if you give me your honor that a loss of
+heart is not the cause of these lamentations--"
+
+"Why will you press that point, Bob? What is done can't be undone, and
+what is broken can't be mended."
+
+"And what is crooked can't be made straight, and what is wanting can't
+be supplied; though these things are done every day and every hour. Why
+any able-bodied lady of my acquaintance, even those at my own house,
+limited as is their experience of the world's devious ways--Jane, I
+mean, or Mabel--could tell you how."
+
+"Robert, I am too old for these follies."
+
+"James, you are the youngest man I ever knew. Any boy of eighteen would
+be apt to know better how to manage such matters, and--if you will
+pardon the frankness you employ yourself--to exhibit more sense."
+
+He stared a little, and I gave him time to recover. Then he took up his
+parable, defensively falling back on the abstract, after his manner.
+
+"Of course I have thought of these things, Bob, and the philosophy of
+them, if they can be said to have any. They seem much like everything
+else. Taking Life in its unfinancial aspects, men do things, not because
+the particular things are worth doing, but as an apology for the
+unwarranted liberty they take in being alive. 'I am: why am I?' said the
+youth at prayer-meeting, and everybody gave it up. As an effort toward
+answering his own conundrum, he entered the ministry. Being alive, we
+have to make a pretense of doing something, which else might better
+remain undone. That is why books are written, and controversies waged;
+it explains most of our intellectual and moral activities. So with
+society: time must be killed, and we go out for an evening, though we
+are dreadfully bored and gain nothing at all. So, I suppose, with what
+is called love. The emotional part of our nature, which is the absurdest
+part of all, finds or fancies itself unemployed: a void craves and aches
+in the breast, and the man, as an old farmer once expressed it, is
+'kinder lovesick for suthin he ain't got and dunno what.' Almost any
+material of the other sex, if you allow a little for taste and
+temperament, will fill the void--in a way, and for a time at least.
+Darby marries Joan and is content, though any other woman would have
+served his turn as well. With us of the finer feelings and higher
+standards, the only difference is that we rant more and sophisticate
+more, as belongs to our wider range. No one ever felt thus
+before--because the feeling is new to us, and newer each time it comes:
+so Festus protests to each successive mistress, perjuring himself in all
+sincerity. Nor was any mistress ever so beautiful and divine as this
+one, appointed to possess and be adored by us. All that is purely a
+mental exercise: carry the illusion a little farther, and it might be
+practised as well on a milliner's lay-figure. 'He that loves a coral
+cheek or a ruby lip admires' is simply a red hot donkey, Bob. Nature
+provides the imbecile desire, Propinquity furnishes an object at random.
+Imagination does all the rest."
+
+"Just so, Jim. I am glad to find you again capable of such lucid and
+exhaustive analysis. But how about what is called _falling_ in love,
+when the wild ass has not been craving to have his void filled up at
+all, but is suddenly brought down unawares by an Amazonian arrow?"
+
+"He was no less a donkey that he didn't know it, and it only comes
+harder for him. The fool ought to have been better acquainted with his
+own interior condition; then he might have eased his descent to his
+royal thistle, secured his repast or gone without it, and got back to
+his stable with a whole skin. Otherwise it is just the same. The heart
+is an idiot baby, Robert: it feeds on pap and thinks it is guzzling
+nectar on Olympus."
+
+"Exactly, James; exactly. As you say, it is our fertile fancy that does
+it all. You and I can conjure up women far more charming than we ever
+met on brick or carpet. If we only had the raw material and knew how to
+work it up, we could beat these flesh and blood girls off the field
+before breakfast. Their merits and attractions are mainly such as we
+generously invest them with; and often they take a mean advantage of our
+kindness."
+
+I glanced at him sideways, and he flushed and winced. "I would not
+derogate from women, nor rate myself so high. I meant only that we
+imagine--well, monstrous heaps of nonsense. For instance, we often fancy
+that they care for us when they don't--and whose fault is that but ours?
+There's a deal of rot talked about lords of creation--when a man isn't
+able to be lord of himself. O, women are very well in their way: I've
+nothing against them. They are just as good as we--better, very likely;
+and wiser, for they don't idealize us as we do them."
+
+"Yes, but this idealizing faculty is a very useful one to have. I see
+you must have found a Blowsalinda on some of these hill farms:--why,
+man, you're as red as her father's beets. I congratulate you, Jim: I do,
+heartily. As you say, the tender passion is merely a spark struck by the
+flint of Opportunity on the steel of Desire; and for the rest, you can
+enrich her practical native virtues with the golden hues of your
+imagination. She'll suit you just as well as any of these proud cityfied
+damsels--after you've sent her a term or two to boarding school; and
+she'll be more content to stay up here than the city girl would."
+
+I paused to view my work, and was satisfied. The shadows of wrath and
+disgust were chasing each other over my friend's intelligent
+countenance. You see, I get so browbeaten at home that I must avenge
+myself on somebody now and then; and of course, it has to be a man. And
+then it is all for Jim's good, and he deserves all he is getting. So I
+went on.
+
+"But seeing this is so, Jim, you ought to be content; and what means all
+your wild talk of last night and this morning, as if you had something
+on your conscience? You haven't--you wouldn't--No, you're not that kind
+of a man. Well then, what in thunder have you been making all this fuss
+about, and pitching into me for?"
+
+He suppressed something with a gulp: I think it was not an expression of
+gratitude or affection. "Confound you, Bob; one never knows how to take
+you. In the name of Satan and all the devils, what are you after now?"
+
+"I'm not after anything in the name of the gentlemen you mention; they
+are no friends of mine, nor objects of my regard. Put a better name on
+it, and I'm after getting you to say what you mean, as we agreed--though
+it seems to be hard work. Who's playing tricks upon travellers, and
+misleading a confiding friend now? I never knew such a man for beating
+about the bush, and talking nonsense." (I remembered this apothegm of
+Jane's, which sounded well, and fitted in nicely just here.)
+
+He appeared to take himself to pieces, shake them well, and put them
+together carefully, before he spoke. "Perhaps my language was obscure,
+or even enigmatical; but I thought you might understand. Forgive me if I
+have been harsh, Bob, not to say uncivil: I have gone through a good
+deal, until I hardly know myself. It is base enough for a man to be thus
+at the mercy of mere externals--and I used to think I could practice the
+Stoic doctrine! But to be human is to be a pitiable, and, if you like, a
+despicable creature. I knew a case that may serve in a way to
+explain--not to justify--my treatment of you. Say it was years ago; the
+man met, in a friend's house, a lady who showed him the utmost kindness.
+She was used to all deference, till she and every one regarded it as her
+right--as it was. And he--it's not pleasant to tell--he ended by
+insulting her. I always understood how that fellow never could bear to
+mention her name, nor to hear it; how any reminder of her, or contact
+with the friends through whom he met her, would upset him. He would get
+confused, and some of his self-reproaches would fall on the wrong heads.
+I suppose you never knew how that could be, Bob."
+
+"I never was in exactly such a scrape as that; but I've been near enough
+to imagine, and make allowances. Your friend must have thought a good
+deal of the lady, in spite of his insulting her. He apologized, of
+course?"
+
+"Certainly, and then took himself off, and kept out of her way ever
+after. It was all he could do."
+
+"Just how did he insult her? It could hardly have been intentional."
+
+"O no. He had had misfortunes, or something of the kind, and she took a
+humane interest in him--tried to help him, no doubt. Women often do such
+things, I believe; it is very creditable to them, but liable to be
+dangerous in a case like this, for men are sometimes fools enough to
+misinterpret it. Well, this particular beast took it into his wooden
+head that she cared for him--in a personal way, you know; and--you
+wouldn't think a man could be such an infernal ape, would you?--he told
+her so."
+
+"He planned beforehand to tell her so--thought that was the right card
+to play, the proper way of wooing?"
+
+"You make him worse than he was. It came out unawares--he was surprised
+into it. The conversation took a certain turn, and he misunderstood for
+a moment. That was all, and it was quite enough."
+
+"What did the lady do then?"
+
+"She was naturally and properly indignant and contemptuous; made him see
+his place. He took it, and took his departure."
+
+"Did it never enter your friend's wise head that he might have
+mismanaged the affair in some other way than the one you mention; for
+instance, in going off so speedily?"
+
+"No other course was possible. Enough of this, Bob: he bore the penalty
+of his offence."
+
+"Excuse me: it's a curious case, and as a student of human nature I like
+to study such, and master all the facts. You say it never occurred to
+him that the worst part of his offence might be his levanting in such
+haste? that it might have been a more appropriate act of penitence to
+wait a day, or five minutes, and give the lady a chance to forgive him?"
+
+"How can you make such low suggestions? The man was not a scoundrel at
+heart: at least he had always passed for a gentleman before, and thought
+himself such."
+
+"For one who goes about insulting ladies, he was a singularly modest
+youth. So he never thought afterwards that there might have been a basis
+of fact for the fancy that made the trouble?"
+
+"Drop the subject, will you? I brought it in merely as an illustration,
+that you might see how a man can be affected--even his character
+changed--by the recollection of such a blunder. It would destroy his
+self-respect."
+
+"Naturally. But self-respect is too good a thing to lose forever, and
+this illustration of yours may serve to pass the time till you are ready
+to talk of your own affairs, which you say it somehow illustrates. Did
+your friend never think that the girl might have led him on, either
+seriously or for mere amusement? If she did, that would be some excuse
+for him."
+
+"I tell you he was not that kind of a blackguard. All sorts of thoughts
+will offer themselves to a man in such a state of mind, I suppose; but
+he knew her too well to admit any that lowered her. O no, he saw the
+fault was all his. At the moment he was bewildered, and could not
+realize the sudden change, nor what he had done; so his apology (if I
+remember that part of his story) may have been inadequate in manner,
+however suitable in words. Apart from that, which could not be mended
+afterwards, he did all he possibly could."
+
+"I beg to differ, Jim. I think this fellow did much worse than you seem
+to realize. Stare as much as you like: if he is still a friend of yours,
+I am sorry for him, as for one who has committed a most outrageous
+blunder and a nearly unpardonable wrong. What right had he to think of
+himself alone? You say the girl had shown goodness of heart, and a real
+interest in him? Then suppose the interest went no further than he
+thought: what business had he to burden her mind with a broken
+friendship and the feeling that she had helped to spoil his life? Or
+suppose the interest in him did go further. What do you and he know
+about a woman's feelings?"
+
+He was pale now, and wild in the eyes. "Your last supposition is
+impossible. For the other--you may possibly be right. He never thought
+she would care--or that he could do anything but what he did."
+
+"A nice lot he is then. If I were you, I would write to him to-morrow
+and give him a lecture--supposing they are both alive and free. And if
+this affair was anyway parallel to your own, of which you won't talk, I
+hope it may be a lesson to you--a warning, if you need one. Do you
+suppose women, of the high-minded and superior sort, have no hearts, no
+consciences, no sense of the duties of humanity? They have a blanked
+sight more than you and your friend seem to have, I can tell you. You'd
+better sleep on this, and wake with some enlarged ideas. As you decline
+to tell me anything of yourself, and so I can't help you there, I'm
+going to bed."
+
+
+
+
+XXIX.
+
+SUBMISSION.
+
+
+Next day Jim was haggard and restless, and wanted to potter about the
+house. I took him to the largest stream in those parts, when our rods
+came in play; and there he did some of the worst fishing I ever
+saw--worse than I did in May, when I had him on my mind. He has himself
+on his mind now, and some one else too. He kept trying to talk, which is
+impossible when you are wading. After he had lost a two-pounder and
+fallen into a deep hole, I got out on the bank to avoid a place where
+the water went down hill too fast--something between rapids and a
+cascade. He came and sat on a log by me, looking disconsolate.
+
+"Jim," I said, "You're pretty wet. Perhaps you'd better go home and
+write that letter."
+
+"I don't see my way yet. How can you be so positive?"
+
+"Because I've heard the story before, and know more about it than you
+do. I had a friend who was there at the time too. O, it caused some
+talk, I can tell you. Did your hero suppose it would interest nobody but
+himself?"
+
+"Yes, as I told you. Good heavens! You don't mean--"
+
+"O, no public talk; only the family, and people who knew the facts and
+could be trusted. They were all sorry for him too; they thought he was
+such an ass. You see a performance like his can't end where it begins;
+it has consequences."
+
+"You say, 'for him too.' They couldn't be sorry for the lady--why should
+they?"
+
+"You are pigheaded, Jim. What did I tell you last night? This thing put
+its mark on her, in a way no man has a right to mark a woman without
+her consent. See that trout jump, in the pool down yonder? I must get
+him."
+
+"Wait a moment. What I told you about could not have been known unless
+the lady told it; and she was not of that sort. I don't understand."
+
+"Decidedly you don't. I can't waste a day like this on second-hand
+gossip, Jim; as you said yesterday, the evening is the time for talk.
+You go home and change your clothes and rest your brain. I know my way
+here, and I want to fill my basket. I'll get back in time for supper.
+Here, you can take these."
+
+And so I sent him off. He is biddable and humble now, and will be more
+so presently; in a kind of transition state, he is. He came back in the
+afternoon, and sat on the bank while I pulled out the biggest fish yet.
+I carried home the best basket we've had; not so many specimens, but far
+finer ones, than from that Devil's Brook in the Land Accursed. In
+fishing, as in other things, a good deal depends on your state of mind.
+
+That evening I dressed for dinner, as far as I could, like a gentleman;
+not that any visitors were likely to drop in, but I thought it due to
+the occasion. Jim, having plenty of leisure at command, and noting my
+manoeuvres, did the same. He ate little, but I paid due attention to the
+trout and claret, and took my time to it; though we do not have a lot of
+courses and ceremony at meals up here, nor are such necessary. Then we
+settled ourselves in easy chairs before the great fireplace, where pine
+logs were roaring: the nights are cold now, and this is one comfort of
+these out-of-the-way places, where fuel is plenty.
+
+As soon as he had a chance, he began. "There is some mystery about this,
+Bob. You wouldn't answer my question this morning."
+
+"Now that I have dined, James, I'll answer any questions you
+like--provided they are such as may fitly be put to the father of a
+family. So fire away."
+
+"First then, how do you come to know so much about this?"
+
+"Because I was there. O, not eavesdropping, not as a spy--that is out of
+my line; but purely, and luckily as it proves, by accident." And I told
+him all about it. I will not say that his jaw dropped, but his facial
+apparatus elongated.
+
+"Then Cl--she knows that you know?"
+
+"Not a word. What do you take me for? How could I tell her?"
+
+"But--the others know?"
+
+"Certainly not. You have the most extraordinary notions, Hartman. It was
+her secret, not theirs. If you had been in my place, perhaps you would
+have written to the papers, or told the story at family prayers. Can't
+you see that it was impossible for me to let her know till I had had it
+out with you?"
+
+"And you have stood by me, knowing all this--you are still my friend?"
+
+"Well, if I had had merely myself to consider, my natural loathing and
+contempt for the beast, ape, idiot and scoundrel who was capable of such
+conduct might have led me to extremities. O, I endorse all the
+compliments you have paid yourself. But there is my interesting family;
+the twins have quite a regard for you, and Herbert. And so has my wife;
+she doesn't know you as well as I do. And my sister--a superior person,
+though too soft-hearted, whom I cherish with a deep fraternal
+affection--she has been besieging me with intercessions, and melting my
+obduracy with her tears; and that for one who has made all this coil,
+and whose qualities have been too well enumerated by himself."
+
+"I will try to be more deserving of her kindness, Bob: I told you she
+was the right sort. But you said just now they did not know."
+
+"Only by surmise, and inference from your hasty departure, and
+from--subsequent developments. Women are not wholly fools, Jim: they are
+just as good as we; perhaps better, and sometimes wiser. O, they are
+very well in their way. Let us bear with them, James, and allow for
+their redeeming traits."
+
+"Don't hit a man with his own words when he is down, Bob. But--there is
+Another, whom you've not mentioned."
+
+"So there is: you didn't mention her, either. Come to think of it, there
+is another member of my household, whom we have overlooked in this
+discussion, yet to whom I owe some sort of consideration."
+
+"Of course I know who is first with you: I am content to come in a bad
+second. You haven't--I suppose--any word--from Her?"
+
+"What do you take her for? Ladies can't do that sort of thing. See here,
+Hartman, don't get on that line again. She is used to due respect."
+
+His face fell. "I know: I mean nothing else. What have you to say to me
+then?"
+
+"Say? Haven't I said enough? Confound you, it's your turn to say things
+now."
+
+"I thought I had said a good deal. O, I am ready to make my submission,
+if it will do any good. Imagine the rest, can't you? Don't be playing
+your games on me now, Bob."
+
+There was a tone of pathos in this: I took a good look at him, and saw
+that he was doing the contrite as well as I could expect. He will do it
+better without a middleman when he gets the chance; he'll hardly lapse
+into the other style again soon. All I have to do is to secure her
+position meanwhile.
+
+"Well, what comes next? I believe I am on the witness-stand now."
+
+"Tell me about Her, Bob."
+
+"She is changed. Of old, one never knew what to expect of her. Now she
+is different. No stale customs about her, my boy."
+
+"'Nor custom stale her infinite variety,' I suppose you mean. Yes, so I
+found--but that was my own fault. Some might prefer your version. But
+you don't imply--"
+
+"No, I don't. You must find out for yourself about that. I thought you
+knew that she is chary of her confidences, and that none of us is given
+to seeking them. She has mentioned your name once in all this time, and
+then to say that you and I were great clumsy things--which is true;
+measurably of me, of you most eminently."
+
+"What chance is there for me then?" He was discouraged again. Jim is so
+foolish; he gets exalted and depressed on the slightest provocation.
+Perhaps I was like that once, but it was long ago.
+
+"Well, she knows I am here; do you suppose I would have come if she
+objected? Make what you can out of that.--You needn't make too much of
+it either: go slow, now. You see she doesn't like to be thwarted in her
+benevolent plans; and you were a wild man, to be reclaimed and
+civilized. Instead of submitting like a decent savage, you broke loose
+all at once, and left her to feel that she had done you harm instead of
+good. You are the only fellow who ever gave her any trouble: I can't see
+how you had the cheek to do it. Why, man, you have got to learn manners
+if you want to associate with that kind. She could do better than you
+any day; but a wilful woman must have her way, and a gentleman usually
+lets her have it.--Now there you go again. I didn't say what her way
+might be in this case, did I? How should I know what she wants of you?
+Probably just to smooth you down, and be friends, and see you behave.
+The other supposition, as you said last night, is too wildly impossible.
+You ought to be glad to meet her on any terms she may choose to make,
+and thankful and proud to undergo any penance of her imposing, after
+your conduct, and the annoyance it has caused her and all of us. Most
+women, in her place, would let you stay in the woods and eat your heart
+out. Perhaps she will yet; you needn't look so pleased. All I know is
+that you owe her reparation. You ought to go on your knees from here to
+the avenue, even if you have to come back on foot."
+
+"You have gained in insight since August, Bob. You express my views with
+accuracy--though one can hardly talk of these matters to another man. I
+always honored you for holding Her in such esteem. But practically, what
+am I to do?"
+
+"That is not easy to say, James: it can hardly be plain sailing. If
+women were not more forgiving than we, bless their little hearts, you
+would have no chance to do anything. And the finer grain they are of,
+the more embarrassing it becomes; with her sort it is peculiarly
+difficult. I know, from long and trying experience; I have to mind my
+p's and q's, I tell you. If you had taken up with one of these farmers'
+daughters, as you nearly led me to believe last night--there's nothing
+to get mad about--it would have been much simpler and easier for you. If
+it were that other man, I should say to him, Write to the lady, if you
+think that safe: I don't advise it. But if you had a friend who knew her
+well, and was a person of capacity and resource and great tact and
+approved discretion, and willing to employ all these qualities in your
+service--"
+
+"O, I'll leave the affair in your hands: I don't see what else I can do.
+I'm everlastingly obliged to you, of course."
+
+"Yes, I should think you would be; a nice mess you'd make of it by
+yourself. You have no idea how this thing has weighed on my mind ever
+since you left us at Newport; nor how awkward it is, even for me, to
+approach a girl of her sensitive pride and highminded delicacy on such a
+subject. But I'm ready to go on suffering in your cause, James, even if
+it be for years."
+
+"I hope it won't take as long as that. Hurry it up, old man, now you've
+got a start. Don't let the injury to Her and the weight on my conscience
+go on accumulating. What you do, do quickly."
+
+"So you'd like me to rush off to-morrow? There's gratitude. No, sir; I
+must think the matter over, and I may have to consult you about details.
+Besides, they are all exercised about my health, and expect me to make
+my week out. Your case is not a strong one, James; all depends on the
+way it is put. I will not ruin it by indecent pressure or undue haste.
+Leave it to me, and let sweet sleep revisit the weary head whence she
+has fled so long. In simpler language, keep still and do as I tell you,
+and don't bother."
+
+I took pen and ink to my room, and indited a home epistle. It informed
+Mabel that I was progressing toward recovery, and expected to ship some
+large trout, carefully packed in ice; also that she was a true prophet,
+and the other business in hand was moving just as she had foretold. I
+enclosed a brief note to Clarice, which said simply, "O. K. Ever thine,"
+and signed it with my initials and Jim's: and a cartoon for Jane, which
+I sat up late to design and execute. It represented a small lover,
+transfixed with a large arrow, prostrating himself before a Haughty
+Damsel of High Degree. This work of art, with the subjoined effusions,
+will keep up their spirits till I get home.
+
+
+
+
+XXX.
+
+WASTED ADVICE.
+
+
+I will not tell you what more we did that week, nor how many wagonloads
+of big game we bagged when we sallied forth with guns to make war upon
+the monarchs of the forest: perhaps their hides and horns are on view in
+my library, and perhaps not. Nor will you expect any more scenery of me,
+seeing how I have groaned and sweated to produce the pen-pictures you
+have already enjoyed: I don't desire to advertise Jim's retreat too
+much, and spoil its seclusion. He was impatient and restive, but feeling
+much better than when I came, and ready to do anything I wished--of
+course. But he wanted to talk all the time, and ask questions: he kept
+me busy pacifying him, till I was tired. Rational conversation on
+serious subjects is good, but to be thus forever harping on small
+personal feelings and relations makes one realize that Silence is
+Golden. Clarice never acts in that way: I wish Jim would have some
+occasional flashes of taciturnity, like Macaulay.
+
+The day before I left, while we were burying a calf I had shot by
+mistake, he said, "Bob, do you remember my asking you once, in a purely
+suppositious way, what you would do if I were to quarrel with--Her?"
+
+"O yes. But the farmer that owned this late lamented beast ought to be
+paid for it."
+
+"Never mind that. I'll attend to it after you're gone, and save your
+feelings. Well, you said you'd stand by both of us."
+
+"Hang my feelings: do you suppose I expend feelings on a misguided
+heifer? It got in the bushes where you said I might look for a deer, and
+here's a ten on account; you can write me if it costs more. My
+sympathies, James, are reserved for nobler animals when they make worse
+mistakes."
+
+"Yes, as I have proved. You've kept your word; but you were pretty rough
+on me."
+
+"Your conduct was pretty rough on all of us. I had to open your eyes;
+and I don't want you to try those tricks again. If you do, I may have to
+shoot you by mistake."
+
+"You would have been welcome to shoot me last week. Why did you leave me
+so long in the dark, Bob?"
+
+"O, the deuce! Were explanations due from our side? It's true you need
+somebody to take care of you; but, you see, I have others to look after,
+and so can't devote myself exclusively to you: you'd better get a
+keeper. It was Jane who urged my coming up here. I always meant to, but
+I couldn't till Clarice suggested it."
+
+"She suggested it, did she? You never told me that before."
+
+"I ought not to have told you now, if it makes you fly off the handle in
+this way. She merely said to Mabel, no doubt in all sincerity, that I
+looked badly and needed a change; she said nothing about my coming here.
+She has a regard for me; whether you are anybody in her eyes remains to
+be seen. Don't jump to conclusions, now. The Princess is not a person to
+take liberties with, as I've learned by repeated lessons."
+
+"I know it, Bob: one lesson is enough for me. I suppose it would hardly
+do for me to go back with you?"
+
+"Hardly. Personally I should be delighted, and so would some others;
+but--you know as well as I do. I have got to feel somebody's pulse, and
+proceed very gingerly. Possess your soul in what patience you can till
+you hear from me. See here, Hartman; with your views, and your
+well-grounded aversion to domestic and even social life, a little of
+this sort of thing ought to go a long way. I should think you'd be
+unwilling to risk contact with the world again. A child that will play
+about the cars, you know, after it's once been run over--"
+
+"O, but you have opened my eyes to a sacred duty. Honor is above
+self-preservation. I want to purge my conscience, you see."
+
+"Then do that and pause there. It was your vaulting ambition which
+overleaped all bounds before. If you get into another row, you may have
+to stay in it. I have full power of attorney, you say; well, I may have
+to make all sorts of promises for you before I can get you leave to
+return to duty, and you'll be expected to keep them. You don't know how
+difficult that will be for your unbridled inexperience; you'll be
+cabined, cribbed, confined within the dull limits of Propriety. It would
+be much better for you to be content with a correspondence, if you can
+get as far as that. You could expound your penitence and changed views
+by mail, and have time to think what you were saying, and get it in
+shape; whereas, if you plunge into the cold and heartless world again,
+you'll probably get into more trouble, and I can't come up here to set
+you straight again--not before next May. You were right, James: there is
+nothing in common between you and the world. Why expose yourself to its
+temptations, its dangers, its hollow and soul-wearying forms? This
+atmosphere is so much purer; there is less of Vanity and Woe up here.
+Stay where you are well off. Clarice can write a pretty good letter when
+she chooses; I'll try to fix it that way for you." But he would not
+accept this reasonable view, and insisted on my getting permission for
+him to come down before Christmas, and as much sooner as possible.
+
+So nobody but he could drive me to the cars; he filled the fifteen miles
+with charges and reminders. As the train moved off, he was waving his
+hat, his face radiant with hope and pathetic with confidence. He looks
+ten years younger than he did last week. A pretty fellow he is to call
+himself a Pessimist.
+
+
+
+
+XXXI.
+
+RESULTS REPORTED.
+
+
+I reached home in the early evening. The servant told me at the door
+that Mrs. T. was in attendance on Master Herbert, who had fallen over
+the banisters and injured his nasal organ. I rushed upstairs: Mabel met
+me with no demonstrations of grief or anxiety. "I see by your face that
+it is all right--as I always said it would be. Go to Clarice; she is in
+the library. O, Herbert? He fell on his nose, of course; he always does.
+It is not at all serious. The dear child has been feeling better since
+we heard from you, and taking more exercise. Clarice has the first right
+to your news."
+
+I found her, and dropped on my knees. She looked at me, not so sweetly
+as of late. "Get up, Robert, I thought I had cured you of your bad habit
+of untimely jesting."
+
+"You have. I realize the solemnity of the occasion, if you do not. My
+name is James--no, that's not it. I am a representative, an envoy. You
+see before you a banished man who has justly incurred his sovereign's
+displeasure, and has repented day and night. This posture, perhaps
+unseemly in the father of a family, expresses the other fellow's state
+of mind. He's afraid to come himself, and so he sent me."
+
+She looked at me again, and saw that I was serious. You see, these
+delicate matters have to be managed delicately. I can't do the
+unmitigated tragedy business as well as Hartman might, and yet I had to
+meet the requirements of the situation, and the Princess' expectations,
+which are always high. People who have their own affairs of this kind to
+conduct might sometimes avoid painful failures by taking a leaf out of
+my book, and mixing the difficult passages with a little--a very
+little--chastened and judicious humor; then they would avoid overdoing
+it, and sending the lady off disgusted.
+
+"Does he take all the blame?"
+
+"Absolutely: he did from the first moment. He can't come here to say so
+till he's allowed, and he can't get up till you give him a token of
+forgiveness."
+
+She gave it: it was inexpensive to her, and soothing to the penitent--or
+would have been if he had been there to get it in person. I took it
+simply on his account.
+
+"Keep still now, and let me think."
+
+I kept still. The attitude of prayer, while well suited to the lighter
+forms of ladies, is inconvenient to a man of my size, and deeply
+distressing when I am obliged to maintain it for more than five minutes;
+for that reason I don't go to church as much as I might. But I had to
+keep quiet while she did her thinking. May it be recorded to my credit!
+I would bear a good deal for Clarice, and sometimes I have to.
+
+At last she finished her cogitations. "O, get up, Robert; I forgot. What
+else have you to tell me? But don't you want some supper?"
+
+I was as hungry as a bison, but that was a secondary consideration.
+
+"The supper can wait while I have your work to do. I'll tell you
+anything you care to know: he wants to have no secrets from you. But it
+has all been graphically summed up already. A famous orator of old told
+a young fellow who went to him to learn how to speak a piece, 'Act it.'
+That's what I've been doing the last half hour: I didn't think it would
+take so long."
+
+I rubbed my knees, which were still sore: the library carpet is
+reasonably thick, but it was not built for devotional uses, "I suppose
+Hartman would be glad to stay down there all night if he had the chance.
+But he'd be awkward about it--infernally awkward. You see, he has had no
+practice in this kind of thing; he doesn't know your ways as I do. I
+wonder if you will ever get him into as good training as you have me."
+
+I put in this light badinage to relieve any embarrassment she might
+feel--not that she could show any such if she tried, but for what you
+and I know even she might feel it--and to let her get used to the
+situation. But she did not seem to care for it. "That's enough for now,
+Robert. Go and get your supper." She said this in a weary tone. My heart
+sank.
+
+"Princess dear, have I offended you? I meant it all right. Have I done
+anything wrong, and made a mess of this as usual?"
+
+She gave me her hand. "O no, Bob. But go now. I'll talk more to you
+to-morrow."
+
+Now I thought I had done this up in the most superior style, and that
+she would be pleased for once. But the ways of women are past man's
+understanding.
+
+Jane awaited me in the dining-room with viands and an anxious brow, and
+would scarcely let me appease the cravings of exhausted nature. She sent
+the servant out, and ministered to my wants herself.
+
+"Brother, you look downcast. Have you returned with empty hands?"
+
+"I have brought some of the finest trout you ever saw--not in mere size
+perhaps, but in flavor, colors, and gaminess. You didn't expect me to
+carry 'em on a string over my shoulder, did you? And I would have
+brought some venison, but you don't care for it. You told me once that
+their eyes were so pretty and plaintive, it was a shame to kill them. I
+always try to please you, so I thought I would let them live.--Yes,
+thank you, I have brought back more health than I took away: I may be
+able now to stand the fatigues of business till Thanksgiving.--O,
+Hartman? I couldn't bring him along, you know: where is your sense of
+propriety? I advised him to stay up there where he is safe, and not
+tempt the shafts and arrows any more. What, I 'haven't done anything
+then, after all?' O, haven't I! Jane, you are worse than a serpent's
+tooth: if Lear had been in my place, he would have talked about a
+thankless sister. It has been a weary, toilsome, painful task, and few
+men could have carried it through to so happy an end. And when I come
+back hungering for sympathy--I told you what my nature was--you meet me
+with cold words and suspicious looks. It is enough to make one weep, and
+long for the silent grave. If it were Hartman, you would do the weeping,
+no doubt. Yet that man, whom you thus unnaturally set above your
+brother--you have no idea of his harshness, his violence, his embittered
+prejudice and obstinacy; nor of the patience and gentleness and
+persuasive force with which I expelled the demons that possessed him,
+and brought him to his right mind. O, he has had an overhauling; he will
+take care how he does it again. But he is all right now."
+
+"I wonder at that, after his being in your hands for a week. Your tender
+mercies were cruel, I fear. What does Clarice say to this? Is she
+satisfied?"
+
+"She ought to be, but she says nothing at all; couldn't take in the
+magnitude of my news at once, most likely. Yet I took pains to break it
+to her delicately, and with light touches of humor, to relieve any
+strain there might be."
+
+"Yes, soothed her nerves as with a nutmeg-grater, no doubt. You will
+serenade her next with tin pans and fish-horns, and think that a
+delicate attention. Brother, Clarice does not share your peculiar view
+of humor, nor do I. Mabel tries to comprehend it and to catch your tone,
+as is her melancholy duty; but it is hard work for her. Well, what does
+Mr. Hartman say?--Don't tell me anything that is private, or belongs to
+Clarice alone."
+
+"O, you may hear most of it. He says all sorts of things--anything you
+like. You see he can't be trusted, or trust himself, any longer, so I
+have full power to represent him."
+
+"That is definite, and convenient for you, whatever it may be to others.
+Of course a man will promise anything when he has an object to gain. I
+suppose you left him in the depths of despair and on a pinnacle of
+ecstasy at once."
+
+"That is about it. Let us be thankful that you and I are well beyond
+these follies.--My dear, I wasn't alluding to your age; upon my honor
+I wasn't. I only meant that your elevation of mind and dignity of
+character lift you far above such idiotic transports, and give you a
+right to despise weak creatures like Jim, and in some degree even
+myself. No man is worthy of you, Jane: you know you never would look at
+any of them. What did I tell you about your looks? Except Clarice, and
+perhaps I ought to say Mabel, and a few on the cars, you are by far the
+handsomest woman I've seen since I left home."
+
+"After your week among the belles of Wayback, that compliment seems
+strained. O, I see: Clarice was not in the right mood just now, and your
+tide of geniality rolled back upon itself, so that it has to break loose
+on some one else: or you are to see her again to-morrow, and must
+practice smooth things meantime to say then.--Ah, it is both, is it?"
+
+"Sister, you are an external conscience--except that you won't approve
+when I have done the right thing, and done it well. You would be
+invaluable to Jim. I doubt whether he and Clarice will get on; and he
+thinks a heap of you. If he don't suit her on further inspection, or
+makes any more blunders, you might take him in hand and make a man of
+him."
+
+"So as to keep him in reach as material for you? Robert, if you want me
+to comfort you when Clarice is gone, you will have to make your light
+humor much lighter yet, and let me select subjects for its exercise."
+
+"Now, now--do you think I would offer you secondhand goods? If I had
+known him then as I do to-day, I would have let her go off in June as
+she proposed, and fixed it the other way. It would have saved no end of
+bother."
+
+"And deprived you of a source of huge amusement, and an unprecedented
+field for the display of your peculiar talents. Do you think men and
+women are mere puppets for you to play with? You would make but a poor
+tenth-rate Providence--though you may have succeeded in this case. Tell
+me how you did it."
+
+"I showed him that he was all wrong. He knew that already, but thought
+she didn't care. I told him she did."
+
+"Robert! You have not betrayed her? Is this your diplomacy?"
+
+"Of course not: how you talk, Jane. I said her interest in him was
+philanthropic, and he had behaved with brutal ingratitude--like a
+charity patient in the hospital, or a bad boy at Sunday School; so he
+ought to yearn to come back--if she will kindly allow--and give her a
+chance to go on reforming him or not, just as she pleases. I admitted
+the purely speculative possibility that it might be otherwise--of a more
+personal and commonplace description--just to encourage him a little;
+but as he had said at the start that this chance was practically
+nonexistent, I let him think so and dwelt on the other view, which was
+new to him, and impressive. O, I preserved her dignity; that was the
+first necessity. If he is cherishing any hopes of the vulgar, everyday
+sort, he did not get them from me."
+
+"And did he believe all that? If so, I must have been mistaken in the
+man."
+
+"He had to believe it. It was the simple truth: I merely arranged the
+colors properly on his mental canvas. He thinks I am Solon and
+Rhadamanthus and Nehemiah in one. How would you have done it perhaps,
+when you had to hook your fish without letting him get the bait--induce
+him to commit himself, and yet not commit her at all?"
+
+"I don't know, brother. You could not have thrown her on his generosity,
+of course; she would have killed herself and him and all of us, rather
+than take happiness at such a price--and I can't blame her. Yet she
+despises a subterfuge. I would not tell her the details if I were you;
+she will not ask for them, nor want to hear them. It is a queer world:
+when such things have to be done--sacrificing your best friend to insure
+his welfare, deceiving him in the interest of one who abhors
+deception--your eccentricities may be of more use than I had hitherto
+supposed possible."
+
+I pretended to be deeply pained at this; but in my heart I knew it was
+high praise, coming from Jane. She is not like Clarice; she asked all
+manner of questions, and kept me answering them three mortal hours.
+Fortunately Mabel has less curiosity, or I should not have got much
+sleep that night, after all my ill-appreciated labors. But I don't
+regret what I did for Hartman; _he_ believes what you tell him.
+
+
+
+
+XXXII.
+
+CONFESSION.
+
+
+Clarice was not at breakfast next day; but as I was going out, she met
+me in the hall. "Robert, can you come back at four?"
+
+"At any hour you wish, Princess; or I will stay now."
+
+"No, that will be early enough. I will be in the library."
+
+Now that is Clarice all over: she is herself again. No eagerness, no
+petty curiosity, but a grand indifference, a statuesque calm, a
+goddess-like withdrawal from the affairs and atmosphere of common
+mortals. Indeed it is not she who will ask for details that any other
+woman would burn to know: a single question as to the vital point, and
+then "what else have you to tell me?" The rest might keep a day, a week,
+a month. Her taste was always for large outlines, her mind has breadth
+and grasp and comprehension; when she seemed to care for little things,
+she was at play. In a matter like this, her secret thoughts are the main
+element; what others may think or say or do need be noticed only as
+contributing material for them to work with. What has vexed her all this
+time has been that the sacrilege of events had put one factor in the
+problem out of reach, beyond her control: she has been used to having
+all she wanted of the earth, and deigning to want but little of it and
+to value that little but lightly. Now that she cares for something at
+last, and it is at her call again, she will weigh and measure the
+situation, and all its aspects and possibilities, in the silent council
+chamber of her soul, and the decision will go forth before any one
+ventures to ask what it may be. Stay in your cave, hermit of Wayback,
+and say your _Ave Clarissa_ as patiently as you can: when the edict
+calls you to court, your part will be cast for you, and you will have
+nothing to do but say the lines. If you break bounds again and stray
+from your proper posture before the throne, or put in any more of your
+irreverent gags, I am done with you.
+
+I have wrought your will, my Princess, and brought back your pretty toy,
+for you to mend or break: you hardly mean to break it. Yet it is a pity
+to see you descend to common uses, to ordering a house and taking care
+of poor old Jim; you were born to shine apart in solitary state, and
+have men gaze at you wistfully from far below. No man can rate more
+highly than I the domestic relations, affections, virtues; but I don't
+like to see you put yourself in the category of mere human beings, as if
+marriage and a man were good enough for you. You will have your way, now
+as always, and use me at your will: it is you who have the ordering of
+this funeral, not I.
+
+As she did not seem to like my style last night, I had better be sober
+and plain this afternoon; sort of Quaker thee and thou, without artistic
+embellishments. Yes, by Jove, I'll have to be, for there's the guilty
+secret to be unloaded. There is no excuse for keeping it to myself any
+longer, now Jim has it; sooner or later she must know that I've known
+all along what was not meant for me, and it may as well be done now,
+whatever the result. It will not please her, but I can't help that. I
+will not break my word and keep a thing from her, except as there is
+reason; to tell it can do no great harm now, unless to me--and that is a
+minor matter.
+
+At the hour appointed I was on deck: no one ever interrupts the
+Princess, and we were undisturbed. "Robert, I had better hear your
+report. Cut it short, please; give me a condensed outline merely."
+
+What did I tell you? This was said with an air as if she were
+discharging an unwelcome duty, so that I might not feel neglected. She
+evidently resents the impertinence of circumstances in forcing her to
+allow me to have a hand in her private matters: it will be as much as I
+can expect if she forgives me for meddling. Obeying orders, I endeavored
+to be brief and business-like.
+
+"He has had a bad time of it, Clarice. He was a changed man when I got
+there--rough and morose and unmanageable; kept hinting at some
+mysterious crime he had committed. It was a day or two before I could
+bring him to book, by methods on which I need not dwell. Detective work
+is not a nice business; the means has to take its justification from the
+end. He made his confession as if it were another's; said how superior
+you were, and how basely he had repaid your condescension. He thought
+that ended the affair, except for his lifelong remorse; hoped he might
+die soon; impossible to be forgiven, or regarded by you in any light but
+that of a loathsome object--regular stage part, you know, but perfectly
+sincere: if you like innocence, he can supply a first-class article. I
+put a head on him by saying his behavior had been much more flagrant
+than he realized, and the worst part of it was interfering with your
+plans and going off in such a hurry; that ladies like to be consulted in
+such cases, and sometimes to administer divine forgiveness, or at least
+punish the transgressor in their own way, and not leave it all to
+him.--You need not look at me like that, Princess. I know nothing of
+your feelings, and told him so. Of course I maintained your dignity:
+what else was I there for? And so, to do him justice, did he, as far as
+he knows how. He is just where you like to have them--or would if you
+cared enough about them. After I had enlightened him as to his duty, it
+was all simple. I gave him just sufficient hope--of pardon, I mean--to
+keep him alive, and turn his despair to active penitence. The game is
+entirely in your hands now. He was on fire to come back with me, or to
+write at once. I said he must take no more liberties, but wait for
+permission. If I may venture a suggestion, you might let me tell him to
+write you; then you can graciously allow him to come when you are ready
+for him."
+
+That I may call a succinct and lucid narrative. She listened to it with
+clear eyes like Portia, as if she were a judge and had to hear such
+cases every day. Now for questions: I bet odds there will not be more
+than three, and those straight to the heart of my discourse--nothing
+irrelevant, or secondary, or sentimental.
+
+"Did he say what had been his offence?"
+
+"Presumption. He insulted you--though of course he didn't mean to--and
+you very properly resented it and withered him with contempt. He never
+understood, till I made him see it, that what he did next was worse than
+this, as emphasizing the wrong and making it--for a while--irrevocable."
+
+Her eyes were like judgment lightnings now, that might burn through the
+darkness and bring out all hidden things. Luckily I had nothing to hide;
+or rather I was about to make a clean breast of it.
+
+"How were you able to speak so positively?"
+
+"That is what he asked me, and therein lay such power as I had to master
+him; at least it was the chief weapon in my arsenal. I answer you as I
+answered him: By knowing more about the matter than he did. Princess, I
+have deceived you all along, and broken my promise to tell you
+everything. I saw and overheard the quarrel." And then I told her all
+about it.
+
+She looked at me silently, with an expression I never saw before. I
+turned away, as one turns from the sun in his strength. I was sitting on
+a stool beside her, and I suppose my head went down. Suddenly a hand was
+on my forehead, pushing it back. "Robert, look at me. What was your
+motive in keeping this from me?"
+
+"O, the motives were mixed; they always are. There was my dread of
+offending you; that was selfish. And more than that, I did not want to
+hurt you, if it could be avoided. And most, I was not willing to
+complicate the trouble, and all but certainly make it worse. It seemed
+to me that you would be shocked, and disgusted, and enraged to know that
+a third person had intruded on so private a scene, and surprised a
+secret that belonged to you. Don't fancy that I was blaming you; that
+was my rough guess at how any woman would feel, most of all you: perhaps
+I was wrong. I thought that for you to know might widen the breach, and
+destroy all chance of reconciliation. I had to think of him, as well as
+of you. Not as well, no; not as much--you know that; but of him too. I
+could not tell you till I had told him, and made the matter right--if
+you will have it so. You will not let it turn you against him now--this
+fact that I was there? It was not his fault: it was an accident, and I
+am the only one to blame. I did the best I could, after such lights as I
+had."
+
+Still the great eyes kept burning into mine; but they did not hurt so
+much as I had expected. "Did you tell Mabel and Jane of this?"
+
+"How could I? It was your secret. What do you take me for, Clarice? I
+never breathed a word of it, of course, until I had it out with Jim a
+week ago, and brought him to his senses: after that I thought you ought
+to know. Mabel and Jane never dreamed that I knew anything beyond what
+little you might have told me, or let me see."
+
+Her arms were round my neck now. There was a minute or two of silence: I
+really did not know what to say next. Then she looked up, tears in her
+eyes, a tone I never could describe in her voice.
+
+"And you have done all this for me, Robert!"
+
+I made a feeble attempt to unloose her hands and draw myself up. "Don't
+talk that way, Clarice; it hurts me. You make too much of this; it was a
+matter of course, and there is nothing new in it. I thought you knew I
+was always ready to do anything I could for you: that is an old story,
+as you used to say."
+
+The effort at dignity was not successful, for her head drooped again.
+Soon she raised it, a smile chasing the tears away.
+
+"You can triumph over Jane now. She used to say you never could keep a
+secret. Did you enjoy keeping this one, Bob?"
+
+"Not exactly. I will keep some more if you insist on it, but it would be
+more enjoyable if they were of another sort. No more like this, if it is
+the same to you."
+
+"You said you used this as a weapon to master him with. Why didn't you
+use it on me? It might have been good for me to be mastered and
+overruled."
+
+I had to laugh now. "Jim can try that by and by--if he dares. Other men
+may overrule other women, perhaps; I know my place too well. Clarice, it
+is not like you to talk nonsense. If I could have consulted you about
+this--how to keep the secret, and what to do with it--it would have made
+things easier for me, but unhappily that was not feasible. You don't
+mean it would have done good instead of harm if I had told you earlier?"
+
+"I doubt it. No, you were right. Brother, there is so much more of you
+than any of us thought!"
+
+"So Hartman has found. But I don't want to be unduly exalted. Love is
+better than pride, and this trouble of yours has brought us all closer
+together, I believe. There is only one thing to be done yet."
+
+"No; two at least. Robert, you deserve to know everything. I will tell
+you what we were talking about that wretched day, so that you may see
+what excuse there was for him, and how wrong I was. And then you can
+tell Jane and Mabel."
+
+"I don't want to know, my dear, nor is there any need to tell them
+anything. None of us desire to pry into your affairs, but only to see
+them set right. It was plain that something led up to poor Jim's
+blunder, and that is enough. You can tell Mabel and Jane what you like
+before he comes back,--though they won't ask it.--I will overrule you
+for once, as you insist. You want to put a force upon yourself for my
+sake, and I will not have it; not another word of that. But--and in this
+case I am not overruling, but only suggesting--Jim is waiting all this
+time. May I tell him that he can write to you?"
+
+"Not just yet. You have opened my eyes as well as his, Bob; you've
+revealed so many masculine virtues that I must take them in by degrees.
+You've been keeping yourself in the background and putting him forward,
+as if I could be interested in one person only. Now let him wait a day
+or two, while I think about you."
+
+There may have been more of these exchanges, which I do not care to
+repeat. What goes on in the domestic circle is essentially of a private
+nature, too intimate and sacred to be whispered into the general ear.
+There are persons who will violate these holy confidences, and tell you
+what he said and she said when the doors were shut. I am not like them.
+If I appear at times to break my own rule and treat you as a member of
+the household, it is merely for your improvement, that you may see (as I
+told Jim last summer) how things are arranged in a christian family: and
+especially that, when any trouble of this kind invades your own humble
+roof, you may know how to slay the lion and extract strength and
+sweetness from his carcass, as I have done. Should these pages instruct
+but a single brother, whether by nature or adoption, how to unwind his
+sister's tangled affairs and bring them to a prosperous conclusion, I
+shall not have penned them in vain.
+
+
+
+
+XXXIII.
+
+A FAMILY CONCLAVE.
+
+
+I had written to Hartman more than once since my return, telling him to
+keep up his spirits and bide his time. Before long came the permission
+to open a correspondence with a more important person than I. What he
+wrote I know not; he is probably able to do that well enough, whatever
+blunders he may commit when face to face. I have reason to believe his
+outpouring was answered, with excessive brevity but to the purpose, in
+the one word, 'Come.' In fact, the Princess declined (and very properly)
+to expend a postage-stamp on him, or to gratify him with an envelope of
+her own inditing, but told me to enclose this minute but inflammatory
+document in non-explosive wrappings of my own.
+
+He was to arrive on a certain day in late November. The evening
+previous, as we were sitting together, Clarice--who generally prefers
+her own society, and I can't blame her--appeared, in our midst (if that
+expression is allowable), with an aspect of grim determination. I rose
+to give her a chair in the corner, but she sat down where she could see
+us and we could look at her. We did so, anxiously expectant, for this
+was a most unusual proceeding; and I inwardly resolved to make it easier
+for her than she meant to have it. She began with the air of an orator
+who reluctantly emerges from seclusion at his country's call,
+constrained to deliver matter of pith and moment.
+
+"It is no news that you all have shown me kindness such as passes all
+acknowledgment--"
+
+She was not allowed to proceed without hindrance. Jane put forth an
+interrupting hand, which the speaker seized and imprisoned in her own:
+not that Clarice's is bigger than Jane's, but it possesses some muscular
+force. Mabel opened her lips, and one of us--I will not say which--was
+obliged to remind her that Miss Elliston had the floor.
+
+"It is not in me to be demonstrative, and I have seemed cold and
+thankless--"
+
+"We knew you better than that, dear," came from both.
+
+"--But I knew, I felt it all. Never did a girl without natural
+protectors--"
+
+"But you can have a natural protector whenever you like," cried Mabel.
+"You might have had any number of them, for years past."
+
+"Well, with or without, no girl ever had, or could have had, more
+faithful affection and delicate consideration shown her than I. I have
+given you a great deal of trouble, and you never complained. I have come
+between you and friends--"
+
+"My dear," Mabel interposed again, "that is all right. Our friends will
+come back." And she nodded and looked like a female Solomon, while Jane
+whispered something and put her disengaged arm around the orator.
+
+"Don't interrupt me any more, please. You know it is not easy for me to
+talk of these matters--"
+
+"That is so," said I. "It is rarely we get a speech from Clarice on any
+subject. Do keep quiet, all of you, and let the poor girl go on."
+
+"But now I must tell you something you have no idea of."
+
+Here the female portion of the audience pricked up their ears, and I
+began to be nervous. "It is about Mr. Hartman's going away in August.
+That was all my fault."
+
+"Don't you believe her," said I. "He says it was all his fault."
+
+"Do be quiet, Robert. He is coming to-morrow, and justice must be done
+him. I treated him very badly, and--"
+
+"She didn't," said I. "Clarice, we don't want to be dragged into all
+your private squabbles, but if you will tell this disreputable story you
+have got to tell it straight. Jim says you merely showed a proper
+spirit, and so you did."
+
+"Why, what do you know about it, Robert?" cried Mabel and Jane together.
+
+"He was there, hidden in the bushes, like a villain in a cloak and
+slouched hat."
+
+Here came a chorus of exclamations and reproaches, till one of us had to
+say, "You may as well give it up, Clarice. These women will never let
+you go on; they don't know how to listen. If you were talking only to
+me, now--"
+
+"Jane, you can never twit him again with not being able to keep a
+secret; he kept this one sacredly for three months."
+
+"Of course he did," said Mabel: "I always knew it."
+
+"Why, Robert, you told me--," Clarice exclaimed, and "O no, you didn't,
+my dear," some one else put in, while Jane looked triumphant.
+
+"No, I didn't know this secret, of course," Mabel admitted: "I only
+meant that I always knew Robert could keep a secret, if it were of very
+extraordinary importance, and if he were certain it would ruin
+everything to let it out. Poor Robert, what a hard time you have had!"
+
+"But how did he come to overhear your conversation?" said Jane. "What
+business had he there?"
+
+"It was all through his pipe. Mabel, you must never object to his pipe
+again."
+
+"There now, Mabel," remarked another of the company, "you wouldn't
+believe that the pipe was good for my health, and now you see it has
+preserved the whole family."
+
+"I don't see that," said the troublesome Jane: "what was the use of your
+being there intermeddling?"
+
+"Jane," said one severely, "if you will be still, you will probably
+learn. How can you expect to hear anything when you keep on interrupting
+Clarice like this?"
+
+"I am coming to that now, Jane. What he thus saw and heard he most
+patiently, and heroically, and from the noblest motives--"
+
+"Excuse me, ladies," said I. "My pipe is not handy, but I must go out
+and smoke a cigar. I want to see a man--"
+
+"Let the man smoke the cigar, and that will provide for both of them.
+You will sit down, Robert, and hear me out; I am not to be overruled
+this time."
+
+"It would give me the greatest pleasure to hear you out, my dear, but
+you know your health is delicate, and you are not accustomed to public
+speaking. This is the longest oration you ever made: Jane's constant
+interruptions are trying, and you must be fatigued. If I were you, I
+would rest now, and finish this up to-morrow."
+
+"Now isn't that exactly like him?" cried the irrepressible Jane. "He is
+afraid of your exposures, as well he may be. Go on, Clarice, and tell us
+what other iniquities he has committed, besides deceiving Mabel and me
+about this, while he was questioning us all the time, and pretending to
+impart all he knew."
+
+"He deceived me too. Yes, you may well stare; he kept this absolutely to
+himself, till he could use it for his own deep purposes; and"--she
+blushed a little--"that is why things are as they are."
+
+I saw she wanted to be helped out, so I said.
+
+"Yes, that is the cause of this thusness. You see, Mabel, what great
+results may spring from a little pipe. Jane, you will have to admit
+that I am the guardian angel and protecting genius of you all."
+
+"Well, Clarice," said Jane, "I will own that my estimate of his talents
+has risen lately; but then my confidence in his moral character has
+fallen in the same degree. He does tell such dreadful falsehoods."
+
+"It is not quite as if he told them for love of them, simply for the
+pleasure he takes in falsehood itself. You must allow for his motives."
+
+"Yes," said Mabel, "his motives are always excellent, whatever his words
+and actions may be. You remember the man in the Bible, who was delivered
+to Satan for his soul's sake; and I have heard Robert himself say that
+in ascending a mountain you often have to go down hill."
+
+"She means," I explained, "that on the rare occasions when I employ
+fiction, I do it purely in the interests of Truth. That goddess is
+imperfectly provided with garments--excuse me for stating so scandalous
+a fact, but it is so. Now this might have been well enough in Eden
+before the fall, but it will not do now; so we have to make the poor
+creature presentable, and pay her milliner's bills, which are often
+high. It would have been far more congenial to my candid nature to tell
+you all at once what I saw and heard that day in August; but such a
+course might have been attended with unpleasant consequences. If you
+will all forgive me, I will try not to do it again."
+
+"I do not see my way to forgive you, brother," said Jane with a judicial
+air, "unless Clarice does; and that appears doubtful. I will be guided
+entirely by her."
+
+"I have managed my own affairs so well without help, that you will
+naturally all wish to be guided by me. It is a good deal for me to do;
+but since Robert's misconduct has done no great harm, and rather than
+come between brother and sister, I will--yes, I will forgive him." She
+rose majestically, signed to me to do the same, and gave me both hands,
+with the air of a sovereign conferring knighthood; we made an impressive
+tableau. "And since you are all so quiet at last, I may finish my
+speech, and state the reason for this act of leniency. As Mr. Hartman's
+conversion is to be completed this time without fail, it is plainly
+necessary that he should find us a united family."
+
+
+
+
+XXXIV.
+
+TO PERSONS ABOUT TO MARRY.
+
+
+I would have liked to celebrate Jim's arrival by sundry pleasant and
+appropriate remarks; but impressive warnings and entreaties had reached
+me privately from three distinct quarters, urging me to efface myself on
+this occasion, and keep in the background. I complied with these
+suggestions, and there were no tumultuous rejoicings over the returning
+prodigal. Mabel and Jane greeted him with unobtrusive warmth: Clarice
+was rather stately and very calm; to look at her, you would have thought
+this was an ordinary call. When they talk about my duplicity, they mean
+that they want a monopoly of the article themselves. The visitor flushed
+and trembled like a boy, till I felt sorry for him, and would have
+offered him something to drink if they had given me a chance. Women are
+so queer about such matters: instead of letting the poor man go off with
+me, they pretended not to notice his confusion, and talked about the
+weather and mountains and trout, as if he wanted to discuss such
+frivolities. This soon got to be a bore, and I went to the new
+smoking-room, inviting him to follow when he needed rational
+conversation. He did not come at all, and I found afterwards that my
+wife and sister had gone away presently, and left him alone with
+Clarice--and they such sticklers for Propriety.
+
+I expected to have some fun watching this tender pair; but I was
+disappointed. There never is anything sensational to see when the
+Princess is in action: she carries an atmosphere of quietness about with
+her, and imposes it on those who come within her circle. Hartman broke
+rules and bounds once last summer, but he seems unlikely to do it again.
+The rest of us kept out of the way as much we could, and gave them
+scope. I said to Jane that we ought to get up a torchlight procession,
+or a big dinner, or something, in Jim's honor, but she scornfully told
+me to wait at least till the engagement was announced. When he was with
+me--which was little, for his time seemed to be much occupied, and his
+weakness for tobacco nearly cured--he once or twice attempted some
+drivel about disinterested friendship and undying gratitude; but I
+stopped that. If there be one thing for which I profess no sympathy, it
+is puling sentiment. He apparently did not care to discuss the progress
+of his affair, which was a relief; it is a dreadful nuisance to have to
+listen to lovers' talk, and I had enough of that at Wayback, when I
+could not help myself. At our time of life a man ought to be occupied
+with serious pursuits. But Jim is as if he had been asleep in a cave for
+ten years, and waked up with his beard well grown and a large stock of
+emotional aptitudes abnormally developed. I suppose Clarice likes this
+kind of thing, but I wonder at her taste.
+
+They had been at it a week or so when I stumbled upon them unawares one
+day in the library. I tried to retreat, but they both called to me to
+stop.
+
+"Robert," said she, "we have quarrelled again. That is, he has."
+
+"Yes, Bob," said Jim, "and you'll have to straighten it out for us as
+you did before."
+
+"This is too much," said I. "You had better take the next train for
+home, and by next May my health will need another change and I'll come
+up and attend to your case."
+
+"This needs to be settled right away. Clarice wants to go to the woods
+and live there the year round, and I can't permit such a sacrifice."
+
+"Robert, he wants to live in the world like other people, just for my
+sake, and I can't permit such a sacrifice either."
+
+"You must both prepare to be sacrificed, my lambs. Each of you will have
+to bear and forbear, and get used to the other's repulsive selfishness
+and hidebound eccentricities, to forego the sweet privacy and freedom of
+self-indulgence which have marked your innocent lives hitherto. When the
+glamour of young romance has faded, when the bloom is rubbed off the
+peach and the juice is crushed out of the strawberry, there will remain
+only the hard reality of daily duty, which is continual self-immolation.
+You are wise to commence practising this virtue at once."
+
+"You must instruct us how to do it, Bob. It would be as you say, no
+doubt--with her--if she had to live at Wayback as she proposes. You have
+been there enough to know that it is no place for her; tell her so. She
+has confidence in you, and she won't believe me."
+
+"It would be as you say, Robert--with him--if he had to live among the
+constraints and shams which his soul abhors. You know it, and you have
+great influence over him. Tell him so."
+
+"You are both right, and it is clear there is no place where you can
+live--together. James, she is a fragile flower; transplanted to your
+sterile soil, she would soon wither and drop from the stalk. Clarice, he
+is fastidious, critical, and intense; made a part of the things he
+despises, the torturing contact with pomps and vanities would soon
+strike his knell. My little dears, your paths were never meant to
+unite, and the best thing you can do is to part in peace. James, this is
+all imagination, and you know it; a milliner's lay-figure, or that rural
+nymph at Wayback, would do just as well, and be much less exacting and
+expensive. Clarice, you are pushing philanthropy too far: the
+picturesqueness of this hermit, and his alleged romantic woes, have
+misled you as to the nature of your interest in him. I don't think
+matrimony would suit you at all: you had much better stay with us, whom
+you can leave whenever you please. You could not do that so easily with
+a husband, and you don't like divorce. My children, pause: you will soon
+have had enough of each other, and then you can go your several ways in
+peace."
+
+"See here, old man; it is too late for this kind of wisdom, after all
+the pains you have taken to bring us together when we were parted
+indeed. You ought to be proud of your work, and ready to give us your
+blessing."
+
+"Don't mind Robert, James. You must take him as you find him, and it
+encourages him to go on if you seem to pay attention. All you need is to
+give him time--generally a great deal of it, to be sure. When you have
+known him twenty years or so as I have, you will understand that he
+usually has some tolerably good sense at the bottom of his mind,
+underneath a mountain of foolishness; he would say it is like the beer
+after he has blown the froth off.--Get to the sense as soon as you can,
+dear, for we can't well wait more than a month or two for it: we have to
+make our plans."
+
+"I was going to say that you had better leave the engagement unlimited
+as to time and say nothing about it, for then you can get tired of one
+another at leisure, and part without embarrassment. But if you are in
+such indecent haste, and seriously bent on ruin, I will assist you over
+the precipice as gently as may be. You will have to compromise, and
+humor each other a little. Go abroad for awhile, or to Florida or the
+Pacific, till you feel less exclusive; then come back to us. The house
+is big enough, and you can make your winter home here: we can't let you
+have her on any other terms, Jim. You can enlarge your place when the
+weather opens, and put in the spring and fall there: some of us will
+come up, or I will anyway, after trout. Perhaps I'll bring Jane: she
+wanted to catch some. It would not be safe for Herbert; he is too fond
+of bears. If you find the whole summer there too much bliss, as you
+will, you can divide with us at Newport. That is fair to all parties,
+isn't it?"
+
+"It will do nicely, for a rough sketch at least, and give us time to
+think. But there is a more serious difficulty, as you will see. Robert,
+he wants to give up his well-considered principles of so many years, and
+just for me--however he may deny it. Now I say he was mainly right. Take
+Life in the large view, and it is not a grand or beautiful thing. Have
+we any right to overlook the misery of millions, because a few of us
+like each other and are outwardly comfortable? I will not have him do so
+weak a thing as change his standards from no better reason than--well,
+that you went up to him for the fall fishing."
+
+"My dear Clarice, if you set up as a Pessimist apostle, you will convert
+all the town, and that will never do.--You hear her, Jim? A wise man
+sometimes has to take his sentiments from a wiser woman. But seriously,
+I am ashamed of you. Having used your eyes and brains long ago and
+received a true impression, what right have you to cast it away, and be
+misled by a narrow prejudice in behalf of Life--or of some particular
+section of it? If he that loves a coral cheek and a ruby lip is but a
+redhot donkey, what shall we say of him who makes these his weatherguage
+to test the universe by?"
+
+"Well, Bob, perhaps I have received a new impression, which is truer
+than the other--and deeper. As you told me last summer, a world with
+Clarice in it is quite different from a world without her. Princess--if
+I may use his term--Bob thinks a good deal of you too; at least he used
+to. You entered into his scheme of things as well as mine. Such is his
+duplicity, perhaps you never suspected the fact."
+
+"That is strange, when he has taken such pains to get me off his hands.
+I could hardly believe it of you, Robert, on any less authority; it was
+an unworthy weakness, in such a philosopher. But really now, are you
+going to uphold him in this--against me?"
+
+"Far from it: you will make him think what you please--only your own
+opinion on this point, though so strongly held and stated, is somewhat
+recent. Let us have a middle ground to start from, on which all parties
+can meet, as in the other case. When things go to suit us, let us call
+it a good world: when they don't, of course it is a bad one. O, we can
+consider the suffering millions too; but then we ourselves are somebody,
+and have our own point of view. So when you two look at each other, and
+contemplate your own bliss, you will be optimists; and when you read the
+suicides in the papers, and think of the Siberian exiles and my labors
+in Water Street, it will be the other way. Why, I am often a pessimist
+in the morning, and the reverse at night. It depends on the impression
+you receive, as Jim says; and there are a good many impressions, and not
+all alike. Often you can be betwixt and between. Let us fix it that way:
+I am sure that ought to suit anybody."
+
+Jim agreed that it would do very well, but Clarice seemed undecided. "It
+seems so frivolous to look at Life in this easy way, just because
+we--well, are not unhappy, and not without friends. You never do
+yourself justice, Robert--or very rarely. If we have been favored
+beyond others, we ought to be earnest and serious."
+
+"My dear, Time will check your frivolity, and mitigate the morbid
+bitterness of Jim's gloomy contempt of life--or vice versa. If I have
+got you mixed up, I beg pardon: you have changed positions so, it
+confuses me. But as we are to be earnest and serious, we should seek to
+communicate our happiness to others. Hadn't I better call them in?"
+
+The lovers consented, and I called. Mabel and Jane came with eager
+smiles and effusive congratulations. It is curious, the stress which the
+feminine intellect lays on a mere point of time, or external event, like
+the celebration of a union between two young people, or the first
+statement that such a union is to be formed; whereas we all know that
+the real event is mental, or at most resides in the clash and
+concurrence of two minds, assisted by the bodies they inhabit. Our
+friends had probably come to a sufficient understanding the night of
+Jim's arrival, a week ago: in fact the thing was practically settled
+when I brought back his submission, and even he must have had sense
+enough to know it was when she wrote him that one word, 'Come.' So what
+on earth is the use of making a fuss about it now? But I will not press
+this view, which may be too rarefied and lofty for the vulgar mind.
+
+There were kisses, and laughter, and tears I believe--but not of the
+Princess' shedding--just as if something had really happened. I was
+sorry for Jim, he looked so sheepish. Then he, or Clarice, or both of
+them, to cover the awkwardness of the moment, began to extol my virtues
+and services--in which there was no sense at all; for suppose you have
+done a good thing, you don't want to be everlastingly cackling about it:
+the thing is done, let it stand on its own merits or demerits. To stop
+this, I proposed a division of the honors. "There is Herbert, who is
+unhappily in bed now: he set the ball rolling. He was the only one of
+us all who dared ask Clarice what she had done to you, Jim. And here is
+Clarice herself, who discovered that my health was failing and needed
+the air that blows over troutbrooks; give her a benefit. And here is
+Jane, who urged me on--drove me, I may say. But for her, I might never
+have had courage to beard you two dreadful people, and ask you what you
+meant by such conduct."
+
+Jane was receiving due attention, when Mabel spoke. "You must not
+overlook me, as if I had had no hand in it. I approved and encouraged it
+from the start: you know I did. And when you went away, Mr. Hartman, and
+they all felt so badly and thought you would never come back, I always
+said it would be right--always."
+
+THE END.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Pessimist, by Robert Timsol
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