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+Project Gutenberg's I'm a Stranger Here Myself, by Dallas McCord Reynolds
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: I'm a Stranger Here Myself
+
+Author: Dallas McCord Reynolds
+
+Release Date: October 1, 2008 [EBook #26741]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK I'M A STRANGER HERE MYSELF ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+ _One can't be too cautious about the
+   people one meets in Tangier. They're all
+     weirdies of one kind or another.
+       Me? Oh,_
+
+               _I'm A Stranger
+                 Here Myself_
+
+By MACK REYNOLDS
+
+
+The Place de France is the town's hub. It marks the end of Boulevard
+Pasteur, the main drag of the westernized part of the city, and the
+beginning of Rue de la Liberté, which leads down to the Grand Socco and
+the medina. In a three-minute walk from the Place de France you can go
+from an ultra-modern, California-like resort to the Baghdad of Harun
+al-Rashid.
+
+It's quite a town, Tangier.
+
+King-size sidewalk cafes occupy three of the strategic corners on the
+Place de France. The Cafe de Paris serves the best draft beer in town,
+gets all the better custom, and has three shoeshine boys attached to the
+establishment. You can sit of a sunny morning and read the Paris edition
+of the New York _Herald Tribune_ while getting your shoes done up like
+mirrors for thirty Moroccan francs which comes to about five cents at
+current exchange.
+
+You can sit there, after the paper's read, sip your expresso and watch
+the people go by.
+
+Tangier is possibly the most cosmopolitan city in the world. In native
+costume you'll see Berber and Rif, Arab and Blue Man, and occasionally a
+Senegalese from further south. In European dress you'll see Japs and
+Chinese, Hindus and Turks, Levantines and Filipinos, North Americans and
+South Americans, and, of course, even Europeans--from both sides of the
+Curtain.
+
+In Tangier you'll find some of the world's poorest and some of the
+richest. The poorest will try to sell you anything from a shoeshine to
+their not very lily-white bodies, and the richest will avoid your eyes,
+afraid _you_ might try to sell them something.
+
+In spite of recent changes, the town still has its unique qualities. As
+a result of them the permanent population includes smugglers and
+black-marketeers, fugitives from justice and international con men,
+espionage and counter-espionage agents, homosexuals, nymphomaniacs,
+alcoholics, drug addicts, displaced persons, ex-royalty, and subversives
+of every flavor. Local law limits the activities of few of these.
+
+Like I said, it's quite a town.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I looked up from my _Herald Tribune_ and said, "Hello, Paul. Anything
+new cooking?"
+
+He sank into the chair opposite me and looked around for the waiter. The
+tables were all crowded and since mine was a face he recognized, he
+assumed he was welcome to intrude. It was more or less standard
+procedure at the Cafe de Paris. It wasn't a place to go if you wanted to
+be alone.
+
+Paul said, "How are you, Rupert? Haven't seen you for donkey's years."
+
+The waiter came along and Paul ordered a glass of beer. Paul was an
+easy-going, sallow-faced little man. I vaguely remembered somebody
+saying he was from Liverpool and in exports.
+
+"What's in the newspaper?" he said, disinterestedly.
+
+"Pogo and Albert are going to fight a duel," I told him, "and Lil Abner
+is becoming a rock'n'roll singer."
+
+He grunted.
+
+"Oh," I said, "the intellectual type." I scanned the front page. "The
+Russkies have put up another manned satellite."
+
+"They have, eh? How big?"
+
+"Several times bigger than anything we Americans have."
+
+The beer came and looked good, so I ordered a glass too.
+
+Paul said, "What ever happened to those poxy flying saucers?"
+
+"What flying saucers?"
+
+A French girl went by with a poodle so finely clipped as to look as
+though it'd been shaven. The girl was in the latest from Paris. Every
+pore in place. We both looked after her.
+
+"You know, what everybody was seeing a few years ago. It's too bad one
+of these bloody manned satellites wasn't up then. Maybe they would've
+seen one."
+
+"That's an idea," I said.
+
+We didn't say anything else for a while and I began to wonder if I could
+go back to my paper without rubbing him the wrong way. I didn't know
+Paul very well, but, for that matter, it's comparatively seldom you ever
+get to know anybody very well in Tangier. Largely, cards are played
+close to the chest.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+My beer came and a plate of tapas for us both. Tapas at the Cafe de
+Paris are apt to be potato salad, a few anchovies, olives, and possibly
+some cheese. Free lunch, they used to call it in the States.
+
+Just to say something, I said, "Where do you think they came from?" And
+when he looked blank, I added, "The Flying Saucers."
+
+He grinned. "From Mars or Venus, or someplace."
+
+"Ummmm," I said. "Too bad none of them ever crashed, or landed on the
+Yale football field and said _Take me to your cheerleader_, or
+something."
+
+Paul yawned and said, "That was always the trouble with those crackpot
+blokes' explanations of them. If they were aliens from space, then why
+not show themselves?"
+
+I ate one of the potato chips. It'd been cooked in rancid olive oil.
+
+I said, "Oh, there are various answers to that one. We could probably
+sit around here and think of two or three that made sense."
+
+Paul was mildly interested. "Like what?"
+
+"Well, hell, suppose for instance there's this big Galactic League of
+civilized planets. But it's restricted, see. You're not eligible for
+membership until you, well, say until you've developed space flight.
+Then you're invited into the club. Meanwhile, they send secret missions
+down from time to time to keep an eye on your progress."
+
+Paul grinned at me. "I see you read the same poxy stuff I do."
+
+A Moorish girl went by dressed in a neatly tailored gray jellaba,
+European style high-heeled shoes, and a pinkish silk veil so transparent
+that you could see she wore lipstick. Very provocative, dark eyes can be
+over a veil. We both looked after her.
+
+I said, "Or, here's another one. Suppose you have a very advanced
+civilization on, say, Mars."
+
+"Not Mars. No air, and too bloody dry to support life."
+
+"Don't interrupt, please," I said with mock severity. "This is a very
+old civilization and as the planet began to lose its water and air, it
+withdrew underground. Uses hydroponics and so forth, husbands its water
+and air. Isn't that what we'd do, in a few million years, if Earth lost
+its water and air?"
+
+"I suppose so," he said. "Anyway, what about them?"
+
+"Well, they observe how man is going through a scientific boom, an
+industrial boom, a population boom. A boom, period. Any day now he's
+going to have practical space ships. Meanwhile, he's also got the H-Bomb
+and the way he beats the drums on both sides of the Curtain, he's not
+against using it, if he could get away with it."
+
+Paul said, "I got it. So they're scared and are keeping an eye on us.
+That's an old one. I've read that a dozen times, dished up different."
+
+I shifted my shoulders. "Well, it's one possibility."
+
+"I got a better one. How's this. There's this alien life form that's way
+ahead of us. Their civilization is so old that they don't have any
+records of when it began and how it was in the early days. They've gone
+beyond things like wars and depressions and revolutions, and greed for
+power or any of these things giving us a bad time here on Earth. They're
+all like scholars, get it? And some of them are pretty jolly well taken
+by Earth, especially the way we are right now, with all the problems,
+get it? Things developing so fast we don't know where we're going or how
+we're going to get there."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I finished my beer and clapped my hands for Mouley. "How do you mean,
+_where we're going_?"
+
+"Well, take half the countries in the world today. They're trying to
+industrialize, modernize, catch up with the advanced countries. Look at
+Egypt, and Israel, and India and China, and Yugoslavia and Brazil, and
+all the rest. Trying to drag themselves up to the level of the advanced
+countries, and all using different methods of doing it. But look at the
+so-called advanced countries. Up to their bottoms in problems. Juvenile
+delinquents, climbing crime and suicide rates, the loony-bins full of
+the balmy, unemployed, threat of war, spending all their money on
+armaments instead of things like schools. All the bloody mess of it.
+Why, a man from Mars would be fascinated, like."
+
+Mouley came shuffling up in his babouche slippers and we both ordered
+another schooner of beer.
+
+Paul said seriously, "You know, there's only one big snag in this sort
+of talk. I've sorted the whole thing out before, and you always come up
+against this brick wall. Where are they, these observers, or scholars,
+or spies or whatever they are? Sooner or later we'd nab one of them.
+You know, Scotland Yard, or the F.B.I., or Russia's secret police, or
+the French Sűreté, or Interpol. This world is so deep in police,
+counter-espionage outfits and security agents that an alien would slip
+up in time, no matter how much he'd been trained. Sooner or later, he'd
+slip up, and they'd nab him."
+
+I shook my head. "Not necessarily. The first time I ever considered this
+possibility, it seemed to me that such an alien would base himself in
+London or New York. Somewhere where he could use the libraries for
+research, get the daily newspapers and the magazines. Be right in the
+center of things. But now I don't think so. I think he'd be right here
+in Tangier."
+
+"Why Tangier?"
+
+"It's the one town in the world where anything goes. Nobody gives a damn
+about you or your affairs. For instance, I've known you a year or more
+now, and I haven't the slightest idea of how you make your living."
+
+"That's right," Paul admitted. "In this town you seldom even ask a man
+where's he's from. He can be British, a White Russian, a Basque or a
+Sikh and nobody could care less. Where are _you_ from, Rupert?"
+
+"California," I told him.
+
+"No, you're not," he grinned.
+
+I was taken aback. "What do you mean?"
+
+"I felt your mind probe back a few minutes ago when I was talking about
+Scotland Yard or the F.B.I. possibly flushing an alien. Telepathy is a
+sense not trained by the humanoids. If they had it, your job--and
+mine--would be considerably more difficult. Let's face it, in spite of
+these human bodies we're disguised in, neither of us is humanoid. Where
+are you really from, Rupert?"
+
+"Aldebaran," I said. "How about you?"
+
+"Deneb," he told me, shaking.
+
+We had a laugh and ordered another beer.
+
+"What're you doing here on Earth?" I asked him.
+
+"Researching for one of our meat trusts. We're protein eaters. Humanoid
+flesh is considered quite a delicacy. How about you?"
+
+"Scouting the place for thrill tourists. My job is to go around to these
+backward cultures and help stir up inter-tribal, or international,
+conflicts--all according to how advanced they are. Then our tourists
+come in--well shielded, of course--and get their kicks watching it."
+
+Paul frowned. "That sort of practice could spoil an awful lot of good
+meat."
+
+
+THE END
+
+
+
+
+Transcriber's Note:
+
+    This etext was produced from _Amazing Stories_ December 1960.
+    Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S.
+    copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and
+    typographical errors have been corrected without note.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of I'm a Stranger Here Myself, by 
+Dallas McCord Reynolds
+
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+Project Gutenberg's I'm a Stranger Here Myself, by Dallas McCord Reynolds
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: I'm a Stranger Here Myself
+
+Author: Dallas McCord Reynolds
+
+Release Date: October 1, 2008 [EBook #26741]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
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+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK I'M A STRANGER HERE MYSELF ***
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+Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
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+</pre>
+
+
+<div class="bk1"><p><i><b><big>One can't be too cautious about the<br />
+<span class="sp2">people one meets in Tangier. They're all</span><br />
+<span class="sp4">weirdies of one kind or another.</span><br />
+<span class="sp6">Me? Oh,</span></big></b></i></p>
+
+<h1><i><big>I'm A Stranger<br />
+Here Myself</big></i></h1>
+
+<h2>By MACK REYNOLDS</h2></div>
+
+<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">The</span> Place de France is the
+town's hub. It marks the end
+of Boulevard Pasteur, the main
+drag of the westernized part of
+the city, and the beginning of
+Rue de la Libert&eacute;, which leads
+down to the Grand Socco and
+the medina. In a three-minute
+walk from the Place de France
+you can go from an ultra-modern,
+California-like resort to the
+Baghdad of Harun al-Rashid.</p>
+
+<p>It's quite a town, Tangier.</p>
+
+<p>King-size sidewalk cafes occupy
+three of the strategic
+corners on the Place de France.
+The Cafe de Paris serves the
+best draft beer in town, gets all
+the better custom, and has three
+shoeshine boys attached to the
+establishment. You can sit of a
+sunny morning and read the
+Paris edition of the New York
+<i>Herald Tribune</i> while getting
+your shoes done up like mirrors
+for thirty Moroccan francs
+which comes to about five cents
+at current exchange.</p>
+
+<p>You can sit there, after the
+paper's read, sip your expresso
+and watch the people go by.</p>
+
+<p>Tangier is possibly the most
+cosmopolitan city in the world.
+In native costume you'll see
+Berber and Rif, Arab and Blue
+Man, and occasionally a Senegalese
+from further south. In
+European dress you'll see Japs
+and Chinese, Hindus and Turks,
+Levantines and Filipinos, North
+Americans and South Americans,
+and, of course, even Europeans&mdash;from
+both sides of the
+Curtain.</p>
+
+<p>In Tangier you'll find some of
+the world's poorest and some of
+the richest. The poorest will try
+to sell you anything from a
+shoeshine to their not very lily-white
+bodies, and the richest will
+avoid your eyes, afraid <i>you</i>
+might try to sell them something.</p>
+
+<p>In spite of recent changes, the
+town still has its unique qualities.
+As a result of them the permanent
+population includes
+smugglers and black-marketeers,
+fugitives from justice and international
+con men, espionage
+and counter-espionage agents,
+homosexuals, nymphomaniacs, alcoholics,
+drug addicts, displaced
+persons, ex-royalty, and subversives
+of every flavor. Local law
+limits the activities of few of
+these.</p>
+
+<p>Like I said, it's quite a town.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p>I looked up from my <i>Herald
+Tribune</i> and said, "Hello, Paul.
+Anything new cooking?"</p>
+
+<p>He sank into the chair opposite
+me and looked around for
+the waiter. The tables were all
+crowded and since mine was a
+face he recognized, he assumed
+he was welcome to intrude. It was
+more or less standard procedure
+at the Cafe de Paris. It wasn't
+a place to go if you wanted to
+be alone.</p>
+
+<p>Paul said, "How are you,
+Rupert? Haven't seen you for
+donkey's years."</p>
+
+<p>The waiter came along and
+Paul ordered a glass of beer.
+Paul was an easy-going, sallow-faced
+little man. I vaguely remembered
+somebody saying he
+was from Liverpool and in
+exports.</p>
+
+<p>"What's in the newspaper?"
+he said, disinterestedly.</p>
+
+<p>"Pogo and Albert are going
+to fight a duel," I told him, "and
+Lil Abner is becoming a rock'n'roll
+singer."</p>
+
+<p>He grunted.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh," I said, "the intellectual
+type." I scanned the front page.
+"The Russkies have put up
+another manned satellite."</p>
+
+<p>"They have, eh? How big?"</p>
+
+<p>"Several times bigger than
+anything we Americans have."</p>
+
+<p>The beer came and looked
+good, so I ordered a glass too.</p>
+
+<p>Paul said, "What ever happened
+to those poxy flying
+saucers?"</p>
+
+<p>"What flying saucers?"</p>
+
+<p>A French girl went by with a
+poodle so finely clipped as to look
+as though it'd been shaven. The
+girl was in the latest from
+Paris. Every pore in place. We
+both looked after her.</p>
+
+<p>"You know, what everybody
+was seeing a few years ago. It's
+too bad one of these bloody manned
+satellites wasn't up then.
+Maybe they would've seen one."</p>
+
+<p>"That's an idea," I said.</p>
+
+<p>We didn't say anything else for
+a while and I began to wonder
+if I could go back to my paper
+without rubbing him the wrong
+way. I didn't know Paul very
+well, but, for that matter, it's
+comparatively seldom you ever
+get to know anybody very well
+in Tangier. Largely, cards are
+played close to the chest.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p>My beer came and a plate of
+tapas for us both. Tapas at the
+Cafe de Paris are apt to be
+potato salad, a few anchovies,
+olives, and possibly some cheese.
+Free lunch, they used to call it
+in the States.</p>
+
+<p>Just to say something, I said,
+"Where do you think they came
+from?" And when he looked
+blank, I added, "The Flying
+Saucers."</p>
+
+<p>He grinned. "From Mars or
+Venus, or someplace."</p>
+
+<p>"Ummmm," I said. "Too bad
+none of them ever crashed, or
+landed on the Yale football field
+and said <i>Take me to your cheerleader</i>,
+or something."</p>
+
+<p>Paul yawned and said, "That
+was always the trouble with those
+crackpot blokes' explanations of
+them. If they were aliens from
+space, then why not show themselves?"</p>
+
+<p>I ate one of the potato chips.
+It'd been cooked in rancid olive
+oil.</p>
+
+<p>I said, "Oh, there are various
+answers to that one. We could
+probably sit around here and
+think of two or three that made
+sense."</p>
+
+<p>Paul was mildly interested.
+"Like what?"</p>
+
+<p>"Well, hell, suppose for instance
+there's this big Galactic League
+of civilized planets. But it's restricted,
+see. You're not eligible
+for membership until you, well,
+say until you've developed space
+flight. Then you're invited into
+the club. Meanwhile, they send
+secret missions down from time
+to time to keep an eye on your
+progress."</p>
+
+<p>Paul grinned at me. "I see you
+read the same poxy stuff I do."</p>
+
+<p>A Moorish girl went by dressed
+in a neatly tailored gray
+jellaba, European style high-heeled
+shoes, and a pinkish silk
+veil so transparent that you
+could see she wore lipstick. Very
+provocative, dark eyes can be
+over a veil. We both looked
+after her.</p>
+
+<p>I said, "Or, here's another
+one. Suppose you have a very
+advanced civilization on, say,
+Mars."</p>
+
+<p>"Not Mars. No air, and too
+bloody dry to support life."</p>
+
+<p>"Don't interrupt, please," I
+said with mock severity. "This
+is a very old civilization and as
+the planet began to lose its
+water and air, it withdrew underground.
+Uses hydroponics and
+so forth, husbands its water and
+air. Isn't that what we'd do, in
+a few million years, if Earth lost
+its water and air?"</p>
+
+<p>"I suppose so," he said. "Anyway,
+what about them?"</p>
+
+<p>"Well, they observe how man
+is going through a scientific
+boom, an industrial boom, a
+population boom. A boom, period.
+Any day now he's going to have
+practical space ships. Meanwhile,
+he's also got the H-Bomb and
+the way he beats the drums on
+both sides of the Curtain, he's
+not against using it, if he could
+get away with it."</p>
+
+<p>Paul said, "I got it. So they're
+scared and are keeping an eye on
+us. That's an old one. I've read
+that a dozen times, dished up
+different."</p>
+
+<p>I shifted my shoulders. "Well,
+it's one possibility."</p>
+
+<p>"I got a better one. How's
+this. There's this alien life form
+that's way ahead of us. Their
+civilization is so old that they
+don't have any records of when
+it began and how it was in the
+early days. They've gone beyond
+things like wars and depressions
+and revolutions, and greed for
+power or any of these things
+giving us a bad time here on
+Earth. They're all like scholars,
+get it? And some of them are
+pretty jolly well taken by Earth,
+especially the way we are right
+now, with all the problems, get
+it? Things developing so fast we
+don't know where we're going
+or how we're going to get there."</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p>I finished my beer and clapped
+my hands for Mouley. "How do
+you mean, <i>where we're going</i>?"</p>
+
+<p>"Well, take half the countries
+in the world today. They're trying
+to industrialize, modernize,
+catch up with the advanced countries.
+Look at Egypt, and Israel,
+and India and China, and Yugoslavia
+and Brazil, and all the
+rest. Trying to drag themselves
+up to the level of the advanced
+countries, and all using different
+methods of doing it. But look
+at the so-called advanced countries.
+Up to their bottoms in
+problems. Juvenile delinquents,
+climbing crime and suicide rates,
+the loony-bins full of the balmy,
+unemployed, threat of war,
+spending all their money on armaments
+instead of things like
+schools. All the bloody mess of
+it. Why, a man from Mars would
+be fascinated, like."</p>
+
+<p>Mouley came shuffling up in
+his babouche slippers and we
+both ordered another schooner
+of beer.</p>
+
+<p>Paul said seriously, "You
+know, there's only one big snag
+in this sort of talk. I've sorted
+the whole thing out before, and
+you always come up against this
+brick wall. Where are they, these
+observers, or scholars, or spies
+or whatever they are? Sooner
+or later we'd nab one of them.
+You know, Scotland Yard, or
+the F.B.I., or Russia's secret
+police, or the French S&ucirc;ret&eacute;, or
+Interpol. This world is so deep
+in police, counter-espionage outfits
+and security agents that an
+alien would slip up in time, no
+matter how much he'd been
+trained. Sooner or later, he'd slip
+up, and they'd nab him."</p>
+
+<p>I shook my head. "Not necessarily.
+The first time I ever considered
+this possibility, it seemed
+to me that such an alien would
+base himself in London or New
+York. Somewhere where he could
+use the libraries for research,
+get the daily newspapers and
+the magazines. Be right in the
+center of things. But now I don't
+think so. I think he'd be right
+here in Tangier."</p>
+
+<p>"Why Tangier?"</p>
+
+<p>"It's the one town in the world
+where anything goes. Nobody
+gives a damn about you or your
+affairs. For instance, I've known
+you a year or more now, and I
+haven't the slightest idea of how
+you make your living."</p>
+
+<p>"That's right," Paul admitted.
+"In this town you seldom even
+ask a man where's he's from. He
+can be British, a White Russian,
+a Basque or a Sikh and nobody
+could care less. Where are <i>you</i>
+from, Rupert?"</p>
+
+<p>"California," I told him.</p>
+
+<p>"No, you're not," he grinned.</p>
+
+<p>I was taken aback. "What do
+you mean?"</p>
+
+<p>"I felt your mind probe back
+a few minutes ago when I was
+talking about Scotland Yard or
+the F.B.I. possibly flushing an
+alien. Telepathy is a sense not
+trained by the humanoids. If
+they had it, your job&mdash;and mine&mdash;would
+be considerably more
+difficult. Let's face it, in spite of
+these human bodies we're disguised
+in, neither of us is
+humanoid. Where are you really
+from, Rupert?"</p>
+
+<p>"Aldebaran," I said. "How
+about you?"</p>
+
+<p>"Deneb," he told me, shaking.</p>
+
+<p>We had a laugh and ordered
+another beer.</p>
+
+<p>"What're you doing here on
+Earth?" I asked him.</p>
+
+<p>"Researching for one of our
+meat trusts. We're protein
+eaters. Humanoid flesh is considered
+quite a delicacy. How
+about you?"</p>
+
+<p>"Scouting the place for thrill
+tourists. My job is to go around
+to these backward cultures and
+help stir up inter-tribal, or international,
+conflicts&mdash;all according
+to how advanced they
+are. Then our tourists come in&mdash;well
+shielded, of course&mdash;and get
+their kicks watching it."</p>
+
+<p>Paul frowned. "That sort of
+practice could spoil an awful
+lot of good meat."</p>
+
+<p class="tnd"><b>THE END</b></p>
+
+<div class="trn"><b>Transcriber's Note:</b>
+This etext was produced from <i>Amazing Stories</i> December 1960.
+Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S.
+copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and
+typographical errors have been corrected without note.</div>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of I'm a Stranger Here Myself, by 
+Dallas McCord Reynolds
+
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+Project Gutenberg's I'm a Stranger Here Myself, by Dallas McCord Reynolds
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: I'm a Stranger Here Myself
+
+Author: Dallas McCord Reynolds
+
+Release Date: October 1, 2008 [EBook #26741]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK I'M A STRANGER HERE MYSELF ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+ _One can't be too cautious about the
+   people one meets in Tangier. They're all
+     weirdies of one kind or another.
+       Me? Oh,_
+
+               _I'm A Stranger
+                 Here Myself_
+
+By MACK REYNOLDS
+
+
+The Place de France is the town's hub. It marks the end of Boulevard
+Pasteur, the main drag of the westernized part of the city, and the
+beginning of Rue de la Liberte, which leads down to the Grand Socco and
+the medina. In a three-minute walk from the Place de France you can go
+from an ultra-modern, California-like resort to the Baghdad of Harun
+al-Rashid.
+
+It's quite a town, Tangier.
+
+King-size sidewalk cafes occupy three of the strategic corners on the
+Place de France. The Cafe de Paris serves the best draft beer in town,
+gets all the better custom, and has three shoeshine boys attached to the
+establishment. You can sit of a sunny morning and read the Paris edition
+of the New York _Herald Tribune_ while getting your shoes done up like
+mirrors for thirty Moroccan francs which comes to about five cents at
+current exchange.
+
+You can sit there, after the paper's read, sip your expresso and watch
+the people go by.
+
+Tangier is possibly the most cosmopolitan city in the world. In native
+costume you'll see Berber and Rif, Arab and Blue Man, and occasionally a
+Senegalese from further south. In European dress you'll see Japs and
+Chinese, Hindus and Turks, Levantines and Filipinos, North Americans and
+South Americans, and, of course, even Europeans--from both sides of the
+Curtain.
+
+In Tangier you'll find some of the world's poorest and some of the
+richest. The poorest will try to sell you anything from a shoeshine to
+their not very lily-white bodies, and the richest will avoid your eyes,
+afraid _you_ might try to sell them something.
+
+In spite of recent changes, the town still has its unique qualities. As
+a result of them the permanent population includes smugglers and
+black-marketeers, fugitives from justice and international con men,
+espionage and counter-espionage agents, homosexuals, nymphomaniacs,
+alcoholics, drug addicts, displaced persons, ex-royalty, and subversives
+of every flavor. Local law limits the activities of few of these.
+
+Like I said, it's quite a town.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I looked up from my _Herald Tribune_ and said, "Hello, Paul. Anything
+new cooking?"
+
+He sank into the chair opposite me and looked around for the waiter. The
+tables were all crowded and since mine was a face he recognized, he
+assumed he was welcome to intrude. It was more or less standard
+procedure at the Cafe de Paris. It wasn't a place to go if you wanted to
+be alone.
+
+Paul said, "How are you, Rupert? Haven't seen you for donkey's years."
+
+The waiter came along and Paul ordered a glass of beer. Paul was an
+easy-going, sallow-faced little man. I vaguely remembered somebody
+saying he was from Liverpool and in exports.
+
+"What's in the newspaper?" he said, disinterestedly.
+
+"Pogo and Albert are going to fight a duel," I told him, "and Lil Abner
+is becoming a rock'n'roll singer."
+
+He grunted.
+
+"Oh," I said, "the intellectual type." I scanned the front page. "The
+Russkies have put up another manned satellite."
+
+"They have, eh? How big?"
+
+"Several times bigger than anything we Americans have."
+
+The beer came and looked good, so I ordered a glass too.
+
+Paul said, "What ever happened to those poxy flying saucers?"
+
+"What flying saucers?"
+
+A French girl went by with a poodle so finely clipped as to look as
+though it'd been shaven. The girl was in the latest from Paris. Every
+pore in place. We both looked after her.
+
+"You know, what everybody was seeing a few years ago. It's too bad one
+of these bloody manned satellites wasn't up then. Maybe they would've
+seen one."
+
+"That's an idea," I said.
+
+We didn't say anything else for a while and I began to wonder if I could
+go back to my paper without rubbing him the wrong way. I didn't know
+Paul very well, but, for that matter, it's comparatively seldom you ever
+get to know anybody very well in Tangier. Largely, cards are played
+close to the chest.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+My beer came and a plate of tapas for us both. Tapas at the Cafe de
+Paris are apt to be potato salad, a few anchovies, olives, and possibly
+some cheese. Free lunch, they used to call it in the States.
+
+Just to say something, I said, "Where do you think they came from?" And
+when he looked blank, I added, "The Flying Saucers."
+
+He grinned. "From Mars or Venus, or someplace."
+
+"Ummmm," I said. "Too bad none of them ever crashed, or landed on the
+Yale football field and said _Take me to your cheerleader_, or
+something."
+
+Paul yawned and said, "That was always the trouble with those crackpot
+blokes' explanations of them. If they were aliens from space, then why
+not show themselves?"
+
+I ate one of the potato chips. It'd been cooked in rancid olive oil.
+
+I said, "Oh, there are various answers to that one. We could probably
+sit around here and think of two or three that made sense."
+
+Paul was mildly interested. "Like what?"
+
+"Well, hell, suppose for instance there's this big Galactic League of
+civilized planets. But it's restricted, see. You're not eligible for
+membership until you, well, say until you've developed space flight.
+Then you're invited into the club. Meanwhile, they send secret missions
+down from time to time to keep an eye on your progress."
+
+Paul grinned at me. "I see you read the same poxy stuff I do."
+
+A Moorish girl went by dressed in a neatly tailored gray jellaba,
+European style high-heeled shoes, and a pinkish silk veil so transparent
+that you could see she wore lipstick. Very provocative, dark eyes can be
+over a veil. We both looked after her.
+
+I said, "Or, here's another one. Suppose you have a very advanced
+civilization on, say, Mars."
+
+"Not Mars. No air, and too bloody dry to support life."
+
+"Don't interrupt, please," I said with mock severity. "This is a very
+old civilization and as the planet began to lose its water and air, it
+withdrew underground. Uses hydroponics and so forth, husbands its water
+and air. Isn't that what we'd do, in a few million years, if Earth lost
+its water and air?"
+
+"I suppose so," he said. "Anyway, what about them?"
+
+"Well, they observe how man is going through a scientific boom, an
+industrial boom, a population boom. A boom, period. Any day now he's
+going to have practical space ships. Meanwhile, he's also got the H-Bomb
+and the way he beats the drums on both sides of the Curtain, he's not
+against using it, if he could get away with it."
+
+Paul said, "I got it. So they're scared and are keeping an eye on us.
+That's an old one. I've read that a dozen times, dished up different."
+
+I shifted my shoulders. "Well, it's one possibility."
+
+"I got a better one. How's this. There's this alien life form that's way
+ahead of us. Their civilization is so old that they don't have any
+records of when it began and how it was in the early days. They've gone
+beyond things like wars and depressions and revolutions, and greed for
+power or any of these things giving us a bad time here on Earth. They're
+all like scholars, get it? And some of them are pretty jolly well taken
+by Earth, especially the way we are right now, with all the problems,
+get it? Things developing so fast we don't know where we're going or how
+we're going to get there."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I finished my beer and clapped my hands for Mouley. "How do you mean,
+_where we're going_?"
+
+"Well, take half the countries in the world today. They're trying to
+industrialize, modernize, catch up with the advanced countries. Look at
+Egypt, and Israel, and India and China, and Yugoslavia and Brazil, and
+all the rest. Trying to drag themselves up to the level of the advanced
+countries, and all using different methods of doing it. But look at the
+so-called advanced countries. Up to their bottoms in problems. Juvenile
+delinquents, climbing crime and suicide rates, the loony-bins full of
+the balmy, unemployed, threat of war, spending all their money on
+armaments instead of things like schools. All the bloody mess of it.
+Why, a man from Mars would be fascinated, like."
+
+Mouley came shuffling up in his babouche slippers and we both ordered
+another schooner of beer.
+
+Paul said seriously, "You know, there's only one big snag in this sort
+of talk. I've sorted the whole thing out before, and you always come up
+against this brick wall. Where are they, these observers, or scholars,
+or spies or whatever they are? Sooner or later we'd nab one of them.
+You know, Scotland Yard, or the F.B.I., or Russia's secret police, or
+the French Surete, or Interpol. This world is so deep in police,
+counter-espionage outfits and security agents that an alien would slip
+up in time, no matter how much he'd been trained. Sooner or later, he'd
+slip up, and they'd nab him."
+
+I shook my head. "Not necessarily. The first time I ever considered this
+possibility, it seemed to me that such an alien would base himself in
+London or New York. Somewhere where he could use the libraries for
+research, get the daily newspapers and the magazines. Be right in the
+center of things. But now I don't think so. I think he'd be right here
+in Tangier."
+
+"Why Tangier?"
+
+"It's the one town in the world where anything goes. Nobody gives a damn
+about you or your affairs. For instance, I've known you a year or more
+now, and I haven't the slightest idea of how you make your living."
+
+"That's right," Paul admitted. "In this town you seldom even ask a man
+where's he's from. He can be British, a White Russian, a Basque or a
+Sikh and nobody could care less. Where are _you_ from, Rupert?"
+
+"California," I told him.
+
+"No, you're not," he grinned.
+
+I was taken aback. "What do you mean?"
+
+"I felt your mind probe back a few minutes ago when I was talking about
+Scotland Yard or the F.B.I. possibly flushing an alien. Telepathy is a
+sense not trained by the humanoids. If they had it, your job--and
+mine--would be considerably more difficult. Let's face it, in spite of
+these human bodies we're disguised in, neither of us is humanoid. Where
+are you really from, Rupert?"
+
+"Aldebaran," I said. "How about you?"
+
+"Deneb," he told me, shaking.
+
+We had a laugh and ordered another beer.
+
+"What're you doing here on Earth?" I asked him.
+
+"Researching for one of our meat trusts. We're protein eaters. Humanoid
+flesh is considered quite a delicacy. How about you?"
+
+"Scouting the place for thrill tourists. My job is to go around to these
+backward cultures and help stir up inter-tribal, or international,
+conflicts--all according to how advanced they are. Then our tourists
+come in--well shielded, of course--and get their kicks watching it."
+
+Paul frowned. "That sort of practice could spoil an awful lot of good
+meat."
+
+
+THE END
+
+
+
+
+Transcriber's Note:
+
+    This etext was produced from _Amazing Stories_ December 1960.
+    Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S.
+    copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and
+    typographical errors have been corrected without note.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of I'm a Stranger Here Myself, by
+Dallas McCord Reynolds
+
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