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+Project Gutenberg's I'm a Stranger Here Myself, by Dallas McCord Reynolds
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: I'm a Stranger Here Myself
+
+Author: Dallas McCord Reynolds
+
+Release Date: October 1, 2008 [EBook #26741]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK I'M A STRANGER HERE MYSELF ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+ _One can't be too cautious about the
+ people one meets in Tangier. They're all
+ weirdies of one kind or another.
+ Me? Oh,_
+
+ _I'm A Stranger
+ Here Myself_
+
+By MACK REYNOLDS
+
+
+The Place de France is the town's hub. It marks the end of Boulevard
+Pasteur, the main drag of the westernized part of the city, and the
+beginning of Rue de la Liberté, which leads down to the Grand Socco and
+the medina. In a three-minute walk from the Place de France you can go
+from an ultra-modern, California-like resort to the Baghdad of Harun
+al-Rashid.
+
+It's quite a town, Tangier.
+
+King-size sidewalk cafes occupy three of the strategic corners on the
+Place de France. The Cafe de Paris serves the best draft beer in town,
+gets all the better custom, and has three shoeshine boys attached to the
+establishment. You can sit of a sunny morning and read the Paris edition
+of the New York _Herald Tribune_ while getting your shoes done up like
+mirrors for thirty Moroccan francs which comes to about five cents at
+current exchange.
+
+You can sit there, after the paper's read, sip your expresso and watch
+the people go by.
+
+Tangier is possibly the most cosmopolitan city in the world. In native
+costume you'll see Berber and Rif, Arab and Blue Man, and occasionally a
+Senegalese from further south. In European dress you'll see Japs and
+Chinese, Hindus and Turks, Levantines and Filipinos, North Americans and
+South Americans, and, of course, even Europeans--from both sides of the
+Curtain.
+
+In Tangier you'll find some of the world's poorest and some of the
+richest. The poorest will try to sell you anything from a shoeshine to
+their not very lily-white bodies, and the richest will avoid your eyes,
+afraid _you_ might try to sell them something.
+
+In spite of recent changes, the town still has its unique qualities. As
+a result of them the permanent population includes smugglers and
+black-marketeers, fugitives from justice and international con men,
+espionage and counter-espionage agents, homosexuals, nymphomaniacs,
+alcoholics, drug addicts, displaced persons, ex-royalty, and subversives
+of every flavor. Local law limits the activities of few of these.
+
+Like I said, it's quite a town.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+I looked up from my _Herald Tribune_ and said, "Hello, Paul. Anything
+new cooking?"
+
+He sank into the chair opposite me and looked around for the waiter. The
+tables were all crowded and since mine was a face he recognized, he
+assumed he was welcome to intrude. It was more or less standard
+procedure at the Cafe de Paris. It wasn't a place to go if you wanted to
+be alone.
+
+Paul said, "How are you, Rupert? Haven't seen you for donkey's years."
+
+The waiter came along and Paul ordered a glass of beer. Paul was an
+easy-going, sallow-faced little man. I vaguely remembered somebody
+saying he was from Liverpool and in exports.
+
+"What's in the newspaper?" he said, disinterestedly.
+
+"Pogo and Albert are going to fight a duel," I told him, "and Lil Abner
+is becoming a rock'n'roll singer."
+
+He grunted.
+
+"Oh," I said, "the intellectual type." I scanned the front page. "The
+Russkies have put up another manned satellite."
+
+"They have, eh? How big?"
+
+"Several times bigger than anything we Americans have."
+
+The beer came and looked good, so I ordered a glass too.
+
+Paul said, "What ever happened to those poxy flying saucers?"
+
+"What flying saucers?"
+
+A French girl went by with a poodle so finely clipped as to look as
+though it'd been shaven. The girl was in the latest from Paris. Every
+pore in place. We both looked after her.
+
+"You know, what everybody was seeing a few years ago. It's too bad one
+of these bloody manned satellites wasn't up then. Maybe they would've
+seen one."
+
+"That's an idea," I said.
+
+We didn't say anything else for a while and I began to wonder if I could
+go back to my paper without rubbing him the wrong way. I didn't know
+Paul very well, but, for that matter, it's comparatively seldom you ever
+get to know anybody very well in Tangier. Largely, cards are played
+close to the chest.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+My beer came and a plate of tapas for us both. Tapas at the Cafe de
+Paris are apt to be potato salad, a few anchovies, olives, and possibly
+some cheese. Free lunch, they used to call it in the States.
+
+Just to say something, I said, "Where do you think they came from?" And
+when he looked blank, I added, "The Flying Saucers."
+
+He grinned. "From Mars or Venus, or someplace."
+
+"Ummmm," I said. "Too bad none of them ever crashed, or landed on the
+Yale football field and said _Take me to your cheerleader_, or
+something."
+
+Paul yawned and said, "That was always the trouble with those crackpot
+blokes' explanations of them. If they were aliens from space, then why
+not show themselves?"
+
+I ate one of the potato chips. It'd been cooked in rancid olive oil.
+
+I said, "Oh, there are various answers to that one. We could probably
+sit around here and think of two or three that made sense."
+
+Paul was mildly interested. "Like what?"
+
+"Well, hell, suppose for instance there's this big Galactic League of
+civilized planets. But it's restricted, see. You're not eligible for
+membership until you, well, say until you've developed space flight.
+Then you're invited into the club. Meanwhile, they send secret missions
+down from time to time to keep an eye on your progress."
+
+Paul grinned at me. "I see you read the same poxy stuff I do."
+
+A Moorish girl went by dressed in a neatly tailored gray jellaba,
+European style high-heeled shoes, and a pinkish silk veil so transparent
+that you could see she wore lipstick. Very provocative, dark eyes can be
+over a veil. We both looked after her.
+
+I said, "Or, here's another one. Suppose you have a very advanced
+civilization on, say, Mars."
+
+"Not Mars. No air, and too bloody dry to support life."
+
+"Don't interrupt, please," I said with mock severity. "This is a very
+old civilization and as the planet began to lose its water and air, it
+withdrew underground. Uses hydroponics and so forth, husbands its water
+and air. Isn't that what we'd do, in a few million years, if Earth lost
+its water and air?"
+
+"I suppose so," he said. "Anyway, what about them?"
+
+"Well, they observe how man is going through a scientific boom, an
+industrial boom, a population boom. A boom, period. Any day now he's
+going to have practical space ships. Meanwhile, he's also got the H-Bomb
+and the way he beats the drums on both sides of the Curtain, he's not
+against using it, if he could get away with it."
+
+Paul said, "I got it. So they're scared and are keeping an eye on us.
+That's an old one. I've read that a dozen times, dished up different."
+
+I shifted my shoulders. "Well, it's one possibility."
+
+"I got a better one. How's this. There's this alien life form that's way
+ahead of us. Their civilization is so old that they don't have any
+records of when it began and how it was in the early days. They've gone
+beyond things like wars and depressions and revolutions, and greed for
+power or any of these things giving us a bad time here on Earth. They're
+all like scholars, get it? And some of them are pretty jolly well taken
+by Earth, especially the way we are right now, with all the problems,
+get it? Things developing so fast we don't know where we're going or how
+we're going to get there."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+I finished my beer and clapped my hands for Mouley. "How do you mean,
+_where we're going_?"
+
+"Well, take half the countries in the world today. They're trying to
+industrialize, modernize, catch up with the advanced countries. Look at
+Egypt, and Israel, and India and China, and Yugoslavia and Brazil, and
+all the rest. Trying to drag themselves up to the level of the advanced
+countries, and all using different methods of doing it. But look at the
+so-called advanced countries. Up to their bottoms in problems. Juvenile
+delinquents, climbing crime and suicide rates, the loony-bins full of
+the balmy, unemployed, threat of war, spending all their money on
+armaments instead of things like schools. All the bloody mess of it.
+Why, a man from Mars would be fascinated, like."
+
+Mouley came shuffling up in his babouche slippers and we both ordered
+another schooner of beer.
+
+Paul said seriously, "You know, there's only one big snag in this sort
+of talk. I've sorted the whole thing out before, and you always come up
+against this brick wall. Where are they, these observers, or scholars,
+or spies or whatever they are? Sooner or later we'd nab one of them.
+You know, Scotland Yard, or the F.B.I., or Russia's secret police, or
+the French Sűreté, or Interpol. This world is so deep in police,
+counter-espionage outfits and security agents that an alien would slip
+up in time, no matter how much he'd been trained. Sooner or later, he'd
+slip up, and they'd nab him."
+
+I shook my head. "Not necessarily. The first time I ever considered this
+possibility, it seemed to me that such an alien would base himself in
+London or New York. Somewhere where he could use the libraries for
+research, get the daily newspapers and the magazines. Be right in the
+center of things. But now I don't think so. I think he'd be right here
+in Tangier."
+
+"Why Tangier?"
+
+"It's the one town in the world where anything goes. Nobody gives a damn
+about you or your affairs. For instance, I've known you a year or more
+now, and I haven't the slightest idea of how you make your living."
+
+"That's right," Paul admitted. "In this town you seldom even ask a man
+where's he's from. He can be British, a White Russian, a Basque or a
+Sikh and nobody could care less. Where are _you_ from, Rupert?"
+
+"California," I told him.
+
+"No, you're not," he grinned.
+
+I was taken aback. "What do you mean?"
+
+"I felt your mind probe back a few minutes ago when I was talking about
+Scotland Yard or the F.B.I. possibly flushing an alien. Telepathy is a
+sense not trained by the humanoids. If they had it, your job--and
+mine--would be considerably more difficult. Let's face it, in spite of
+these human bodies we're disguised in, neither of us is humanoid. Where
+are you really from, Rupert?"
+
+"Aldebaran," I said. "How about you?"
+
+"Deneb," he told me, shaking.
+
+We had a laugh and ordered another beer.
+
+"What're you doing here on Earth?" I asked him.
+
+"Researching for one of our meat trusts. We're protein eaters. Humanoid
+flesh is considered quite a delicacy. How about you?"
+
+"Scouting the place for thrill tourists. My job is to go around to these
+backward cultures and help stir up inter-tribal, or international,
+conflicts--all according to how advanced they are. Then our tourists
+come in--well shielded, of course--and get their kicks watching it."
+
+Paul frowned. "That sort of practice could spoil an awful lot of good
+meat."
+
+
+THE END
+
+
+
+
+Transcriber's Note:
+
+ This etext was produced from _Amazing Stories_ December 1960.
+ Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S.
+ copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and
+ typographical errors have been corrected without note.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of I'm a Stranger Here Myself, by
+Dallas McCord Reynolds
+
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