initial commit of ebook 26708HEADmain

79 files changed, 5891 insertions, 0 deletions

diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..6833f05
--- /dev/null
+++ b/.gitattributes
@@ -0,0 +1,3 @@
+* text=auto
+*.txt text
+*.md text
diff --git a/26708-8.txt b/26708-8.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..7b10b5e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-8.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,1828 @@
+The Project Gutenberg eBook, Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 104, May
+13, 1893, by Various, Edited by F. C. (Francis Cowley) Burnand
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+
+
+
+Title: Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 104, May 13, 1893
+
+
+Author: Various
+
+Editor: F. C. (Francis Cowley) Burnand
+
+Release Date: September 27, 2008  [eBook #26708]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI,
+VOL. 104, MAY 13, 1893***
+
+
+E-text prepared by Lesley Halamek, Juliet Sutherland, and the Project
+Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team (https://www.pgdp.net)
+
+
+
+Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this
+      file which includes the original illustrations.
+      See 26708-h.htm or 26708-h.zip:
+      (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/6/7/0/26708/26708-h/26708-h.htm)
+      or
+      (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/6/7/0/26708/26708-h.zip)
+
+
+
+
+
+PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
+
+VOLUME 104, MAY 13TH 1893
+
+edited by Sir Francis Burnand
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+MIXED NOTIONS.
+
+No. X.--THE BEHRING-SEA ARBITRATION.
+
+
+(_Scene and Persons as usual._ _The Conversation has already begun._)
+
+_First Well-informed Man_ (_concluding a tirade_). ---- so what I want
+to know is this: are we or are we not to submit to the Yankees? It's
+all very well talking about Chicago Exhibitions and all that, but if
+they're going to capture our ships and prevent us killing seals, why,
+the sooner we tell 'em to go to blue blazes the better. And as for its
+being a _mare clausum_----
+
+[Illustration]
+
+_Inquirer_ (_interrupting_). Who was she? What's she got to do with
+it?
+
+_First W. I. M._ (_laughing vigorously_). Ha! ha! that's a good 'un.
+
+_Inquirer_ (_nettled_). Oh, laugh away, laugh away. That's you all
+over.
+
+_First W. I. M._ My dear chap, I'm very sorry, but I really couldn't
+help it. There's no woman in the business at all. _Mare clausum_
+merely means the place where they catch the seals, you know; _mare_,
+Latin for sea.
+
+_Inquirer._ Oh! I should have known that directly, if you'd only
+pronounced it properly. But what does _clausum_ mean?
+
+_First W. I. M._ Well, of course, that means--well, a clause, don't
+you know. It's in the treaty.
+
+_Average Man_ (_looking up from his paper_). It used to be the Latin
+for "closed," but I suppose it's altered now.
+
+_First W. I. M._ (_incredulously_). It can't mean that, anyhow. Who
+ever heard of a closed sea, I should like to know?
+
+_Second W. I. M._ (_hazarding a suggestion_). It _might_ mean a
+harbour, you know, or something of that sort.
+
+_Average Man._ I daresay it _might_ mean that, but it doesn't happen
+to be a harbour (_relapses into paper_).
+
+_Second W. I. M._ Oh, well, I only made the suggestion.
+
+          [_A pause._
+
+_Inquirer._ But what are they arbitrating about in Paris? It says
+(_reading from newspaper_) "When Mr. CARTER, the United States
+Counsel, had concluded his speech, he was complimented by the
+President, the Baron DE COURCEL, who told him he had spoken on
+behalf of humanity." I thought old CARNOT was President of the French
+Republic.
+
+_First W. I. M._ So he is.
+
+_Inquirer_. But this paper says Baron DE COURCEL is President.
+
+_Second W. I. M._ Oh, I suppose that's one of CARNOT's titles, All
+these blessed foreigners are Barons, or something of that sort.
+
+_Inquirer._ Ah, I suppose that must be it. But what have the French
+got to do with the Behring Sea? I thought it was all between us and
+the Yankees.
+
+_First W. I. M._ So it is--but the French are arbitrating. That's how
+they come into the business. I can't say, personally, I like these
+arbitrations. We're always arbitrating now, and giving everything
+away. If we think we're right, why can't we say so, and stick to it,
+and let the French, and the Yankees, and the Russians, and all the
+rest of 'em, take it from us, if they can?
+
+_Second W. I. M._ Take what from us?
+
+_First W. I. M._ Why, whatever it happens to be, the Behring Sea, or
+anything else. We're so deuced afraid of everybody now, we never
+show fight; it's perfectly sickening. But of course you can't expect
+anything else from old GLADSTONE.
+
+_Second W. I. M._ That's right--shove it all on to old GLADSTONE.
+But you're wrong this time. It was JO CHAMBERLAIN, one of your
+own blessed Unionists, that you're so proud of, who arranged this
+arbitration.
+
+_First W. I. M._ I know that, my dear boy; but CHAMBERLAIN was a
+Radical then; so where are you now?
+
+          [_A pause._
+
+_Inquirer_ (_who has continued his reading, suddenly, with a puzzled
+air_). I say, you know, this is too much of a good thing, bringing
+the Russians into the business. It says--(_reads_)--"documents were
+submitted, on behalf of the United States, to prove that Russia had
+never abandoned her sovereign rights in the manner suggested by Great
+Britain." How, on earth, does Russia manage to crop up everywhere? And
+where is this confounded Behring Sea?
+
+_Second W. I. M._ (_vaguely_). It's somewhere in America, or
+Newfoundland, or thereabouts.
+
+_Inquirer._ But how about Russia?
+
+_Second W. I. M._ Oh, Russia shoves her oar in whenever we get into a
+difficulty of any kind anywhere.
+
+_Inquirer_ (_persisting_). Yes--but how can she have any "sovereign
+rights" in America?
+
+_Second W. I. M._ (_haughtily, but evasively_). My dear fellow, if
+you had followed the thing properly, you wouldn't ask the question.
+There's no time now to explain it all to you, as it's very
+complicated, and goes back a long way. But you may take it from me
+that Russia has got certain rights, and that she means to make things
+as disagreeable for us as she can.
+
+          [_A pause._
+
+_Inquirer._ It's rather a rum start, isn't it? sending out Sir
+CHARLES RUSSELL and Sir RICHARD WEBSTER. They're on opposite sides of
+politics.
+
+_First W. I. M._ That's just why they send 'em. RUSSELL has got to put
+the Liberal view, and WEBSTER the Conservative.
+
+_Inquirer._ Of course, of course; I never thought of that. By the way,
+have you ever seen a seal?
+
+_First W. I. M._ They've got one at the Zoo. Catches fish, and kisses
+the keeper, and all that sort of game.
+
+_Inquirer._ What, that big beast that looks as if it was made of
+india-rubber, with long whiskers and a sort of fish-tail?
+
+_First W. I. M._ That's it.
+
+_Inquirer_ (_with profound disgust_). Well, I _am_ blessed! Is _that_
+all they're jawing about?
+
+          [_Terminus._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+IN MEMORIAM--"THE DEVIL'S OWN."
+
+    ["Notwithstanding the efforts made by the Inns of Court
+    Rifles, supported by the Authorities of the Inns, to increase
+    the strength of the corps, the additional enrolments lately
+    made have been judged by the War Office not sufficient
+    to warrant the continued maintenance of the corps as an
+    independent battalion; and orders have been given for its
+    reduction from six to four companies, for the withdrawal of
+    the Adjutant, and for the attachment of the corps to the 4th
+    Middlesex Rifles."--_Daily Paper._]
+
+  Oh, how bright were the days when we all of us saw
+  In their martial equipment the limbs of the Law.
+  With their helmets and rifles, and pouches complete,
+  (May I quote from the ladies), they "really looked sweet."
+  The Colonel, the Major, and all their attendants,
+  Appeared not as counsel, since all were defendants;
+  And no soldierly spirit could equal the Bar's,
+  When Themis, its goddess, was mated with Mars.
+
+  No more shall they charm us; harsh Fate with her shears
+  Has severed the thread of the Law's Volunteers.
+  And, whatever the cause was, 'twas certainly true
+  That these fee-less defenders at last were too few.
+  So now they're absorbed, and, no longer the same,
+  They lose by attachment their being and name.
+  And the old Devil's Own, from their discipline loosed,
+  Have gone to their owner; _i.e._, they're _re-duced_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+ENGLISH AS SHE IS SPOKE.
+
+(_In the House and out of it._)
+
+The Parliamentary Committee appointed to consider the best mode of
+reporting in the House, have decided that it will be advisable to
+allow Members to have an opportunity of revising their speeches after
+they have been "taken down" verbatim. The result of this suggestion
+will probably be as follows:--
+
+[Illustration: "Spoke? Rather!"]
+
+MR. SYMPLE-STUTTER'S SPEECH.
+
+(_Verbatim Report._)
+
+Mr. SPEAKER, Sir, What I mean to say, I venture to think is that the
+British Empire--yes Sir--that is what I venture to think, and _I_ am
+a young Member. For I do not believe--no not now--or in fact, when
+otherwise. For envy and malice are together. I venture to think that
+sometimes the British Empire. Yes Sir, for the enemies are at our
+gates with the past and the future. When the sun sinks--not that it
+follows--at least so I venture to think. You may believe me, Sir,
+that it is farthest from my thoughts when the British Empire and the
+sinking sun which I venture to think is--in point of fact the setting
+sun, and I venture to think the British Empire, and that is I venture
+to think was my proposal in the past--which has the terrors of the
+present from generation to generation.
+
+(_Revised Report._)
+
+Mr. SPEAKER, Sir, at a time like the present--when the enemies of the
+Empire are clamouring at our gates, when envy walks hand-in-hand
+with malice, and our fate is in our own hands--we should be bold and
+resolute. It is not for a young Member like myself to point out the
+course that we should pursue, but I venture to think that, by ignoring
+the terrors of the past with the courage of the present, we shall
+avert the dangers of the future. It has been said--and truly
+said--that the sun never sets upon the British Empire. Let us believe
+in that sun, and find in its rays an earnest of that glory which was
+the birthright of our ancestors, and which, should be the birthright
+of our descendants from generation to generation.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: ANTONY AND CLEOPATRA.
+
+_Antony_ ... JOHN BULL. _Cleopatra_ ... EGYPT. _Mecænas_ ... H.
+L-B-CH-RE. _Enobarbus_ ... GL-DST-NE.
+
+_Mecænas_ (_aside to_ ENOBARBUS). "NOW ANTONY MUST LEAVE HER UTTERLY."
+
+_Enobarbus_ (_aside to_ MECÆNAS). "NEVER; HE WILL NOT." (_Apart._) "AT
+LEAST, NOT YET."
+
+  _Ant. and Cleo., Act II. Scene 2, adapted._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+MR. GLADSTONE'S CHANGE OF NAME.
+
+  He was "The People's WILLIAM." He will
+  Be known in future as "Our Home-Rule BILL."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+HIGH NOTES FOR A VIOLIN.--Last week a Stradivarius (_vide Daily
+News_), a real genuine "Strad," sold at PUTTICK AND SIMPSON'S for
+£860. Fiddle de L. S. Dee!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+IN THE TIME OF THE RESTAURATION.--They're going it! Feeding, feeding
+everywhere, and not a bit to eat--without paying for it pretty
+heavily. We gather from a note in _Sala's Journal_, that LONG'S Hotel
+now possesses a "Restauration." Of course, those who live in "Short's
+Gardens," won't be able to patronise "LONG'S." The management is
+announced as under the direction of a "M. DIETTE," and, as he has
+obtained no inconsiderable renown (so we are informed) at the Berkeley
+and Bristol, patrons of LONG'S may expect something superior, by way
+of "DIETTE-ary."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+MR. PUNCH TO THE BETROTHED PAIR.
+
+(_The Duke of York and the Princess May of Teck._)
+
+MAY 3, 1893.
+
+
+  'Mid the bird-chorus of the May,
+    From glade and garden madly ringing,
+  There sounds one welcome note to-day,
+    Round the glad world its way 'tis winging.
+  You hear--you hear the general cheer
+    That greets it! 'Twill suffice to show you
+  That all who love you joy to hear.
+    And all who love are all who know you!
+
+  Soft music of the marriage-bell
+    Seems woven 'midst the world's Spring Voices.
+  In truth, there's little need to tell
+    How in the prospect _Punch_ rejoices.
+  His well-pleased eye has watched your way;
+    His loyal heart has shared your sadness;
+  Now on this bright Betrothal-Day
+    Your gladness he acclaims--with gladness!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+How is Mr. F. LUKE FILDES, R.A.?--In excellent health we sincerely
+hope, but from seeing daily, in the front sheet of the _Times_, an
+advertisement commencing "The Doctor after LUKE FILDES, R.A." Many
+friends began to feel anxious. We are glad to be able to add, that, in
+answer to the numerous inquiries made at 39, Old Bond Street, a most
+satisfactory report has been obtained.
+
+[Illustration: "HONOURS EASY."
+
+_First Undergraduate._ "I SAY, OLD MAN, DID YOU WIN YOUR MONEY?"
+
+_Second Un._ "'COURSE NOT; WON SOMEBODY ELSE'S. _YOU_ LOST _YOUR_
+COIN, DIDN'T YOU?"
+
+_First Un._ "MY COIN! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I LOST THE
+GUV'NOR'S!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+MUSE v. MECHANIC.
+
+["Mr. NORMAN GALE--the Muse of orchards and pretty girls with polished
+knees; a charm often left unsung."--_Mr. Andrew Lang on the Poems of
+"A Country Muse."_]
+
+  "A Country Muse" sings, if you please,
+  Of pretty girls "with polished knees"!
+    One would not quite demolish
+  The graphic rhymester's stock-in-trade,
+  But if bare knees must be displayed,
+    He _might_ forego the polish.
+
+  It smacks of fustian! Workmen's "bags"
+  Are very "polished" where the "sags"
+    From salient joints protuberant,
+  Grow shiny with continual friction;
+  But "polished knees" in poet's diction
+    Strike one as too exuberant.
+
+  Say varnished elbows, burnished knuckles,
+  And you'll elicit scornful chuckles
+    From Muse and from Mechanic!
+  Selections from the terms of trade
+  Would put, I'm very much afraid,
+    Parnassus in a panic.
+
+  The bards are sometimes rather free
+  With feminine anatomy;
+    Their catalogues erotic
+  Of pretty girls' peculiar "points,"
+  Their eyes and limbs, and curves and joints,
+    Are often idiotic.
+
+  But if we must be told, sometimes,
+  Ladies have limbs, then that your rhymes
+    May not offend or fog any,
+  Don't _mechanise_ a maiden's charms;
+  Leave "polishing" to legs and arms
+    Of walnut or mahogany.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+RHYMES ON THE DECAY OF ROMANCE.
+
+(_Suggested by Mr. Frederic Harrison's recent Article in "The
+Forum."_)
+
+  Oh, list to Mr. HARRISON lamenting from _The Forum_,
+  Imagination done to death by latter-day decorum!
+  "Good boys and girls" we've all become, and modern men and maidens
+          see
+  The world with such prosaic eyes, Romance is in decadency!
+
+  We're too absorbed in Politics, enamoured of Monotony,
+  To give an ear to Geniuses (supposing we had _got_ any!)
+  But First-Class in our Fiction Mr. HARRISON abolishes,
+  Indeed most Authors travel Third, their talent so toll-lollish is.
+
+  It's all the _Fin-de-Siècle's_ fault--and this, of course, a true
+          bill is;
+  For Genius puts its shutters up when centuries pass their jubilees!
+  As Mr. HARRISON can prove by references historical,--
+  And any utterance of his is equal to an oracle.
+
+  We cannot stand a novel now, he says, if there's a shock in it;
+  Prefer our heroine angular, her eye must have a cock in it,
+  Unless she's dull and middle-aged, no sympathy have _we_ with her,
+  Her sole excitement is to ask a plainer friend to tea with her!
+
+  He thinks, were _Pickwick_ written now, we'd view it with a cooler
+          eye,
+  And term the Trial Scene a piece of "riotous tomfoolery;"
+  While _Jane Eyre's_ thrilling narrative of _Rochester's_ sad
+          revelries
+  Of "shilling shockers" scarcely would to-day above the level rise!
+
+  An age that's given up its gas to read by Electricity
+  Would naturally be repelled by THACKERAY'S causticity,
+  And scorn the characters of SCOTT, because they had Glengarries on,
+  An inference which is obvious--to Mr. FREDERIC HARRISON!
+
+  How scathingly does he denounce our Literature degenerate,
+  With not a real Romancer left--or only two at any rate!
+  By "desperate expedients," each the old tradition carries on--
+  "But it's no good"--as they're informed by Mr. FREDERIC HARRISON.
+
+  For Mr. STEVENSON can write no stories worth hurraying at,
+  While he upon Pacific Isle persists in _Crusoe_ playing at!
+  And Mr. KIPLING's ceased to count--no heart in what he does is
+          there--
+  He longs for death in far Soudan, a-fighting Fuzzy-Wuzzies there!
+
+  So we've only Mr. MEREDITH--(oh, what a sad disgrace it is!)
+  Though Mr. BLACKMORE writes romance--how poor and commonplace it is!
+  While Messrs. THOMAS HARDY, BLACK, and BESANT, it would seem, are
+          all
+  Unworthy serious notice, mere nonentities ephemeral!
+
+  Some people like Miss BRADDON, Mrs. OLIPHANT, Miss BROUGHTON, too.
+  They're only lady-novelists--so serious readers _oughtn't_ to,
+  And those who've been convinced by his invidious comparisons,
+  In future will eschew romance--excepting Mr. HARRISON'S.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+THE DARWINIAN THEORY EXEMPLIFIED.--At the Zoo is now being exhibited
+"Three White-tailed Gnus,"--"The Latest Gnus." with the best possible
+intelligence,--"and a Black-capped Gibbon." This last is evidently a
+descendant of the great historian; though, if this exemplifies "the
+survival of the fittest," where are the others of the race? Then
+"Black-capped" sounds ominous, as if this particular Gibbon stood
+self-condemned, and was soon to disappear. Should this be the case,
+the Zoo Authorities ought to advertise the fact, and give visitors a
+chance before it is too late.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
+
+EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
+
+_House of Commons, Monday Night May 1._--Demonstrated in Debate on
+Second Reading Home-Rule Bill that House may talk and talk through
+twelve long nights, and not affect single vote--not even SAUNDERS'S.
+To-night shown how a single speech may cause to collapse what was
+expected and intended to be big Debate. It was Mr. G. performed the
+miracle. Looked in at House on his way from Downing Street, where
+he had received deputation on Eight Hours Question, and delivered
+important speech. That might have served as day's work for ordinary
+man, Mr. G., not to put too fine a point upon it, is not ordinary man.
+Being here, sat listening to DILKE with close attention. DILKE thinks
+time has come to evacuate Egypt. Stated his case in luminous speech;
+sustained his reputation of knowing more about Egyptian Question than
+most men except perhaps TOMMY BOWLES.
+
+Mr. G. made no outward and visible sign of intention to follow; took
+no notes, and sometimes, as he sat with drooping arms and closed eyes,
+seemed to sleep. DILKE done and down, he sat bolt upright, looked
+round with almost startled air, "Well, really," he seemed to be saying
+to himself, "since I am here, and no one else is disposed to follow, I
+might as well say a few words."
+
+Spoke for half an hour, without reference to a note, and without
+faltering for a word. Preserved throughout that studious assumption
+of having accidentally looked in which marked his appearance at
+table. Evidently desired to minimise as much as possible importance
+of occasion. Subject broached, he was, possibly, expected to say
+something; certainly not going to make a speech, much less deliver
+oration. Carried out this subtle fancy to such extent that, pitching
+voice on low conversational tone, sometimes difficult to catch full
+length of sentences. This added to impressiveness of scene. Crowded
+House sitting breathless; Members opposite leaning forward lest
+they might miss a phrase. Everyone conscious that at the door also
+listening were jealous France, the wily Turk, the interested Egyptian,
+the not entirely disinterested CZAR, and the other Great Powers
+concerned for peace of Europe.
+
+Mr. G., for all his affectation of unpremeditation, evidently had in
+mind these listeners at the door. To their shadowy presence was, for
+him, added consciousness of keen eyes watching him from all quarters
+of the House; some of his friends waiting for sign of readiness to
+quit Egypt; the Opposition ready to catch at any token of tendency to
+scuttle. Occasional passages he delivered at rapid rate; but you could
+see him weighing every word with due consideration of these manifold
+and conflicting interests and influences.
+
+When he sat down, there was consciousness that the massive figure of
+important Debate that had loomed over House whilst DILKE was speaking
+had melted away. JOKIM and GORST had intended to speak from Front
+Bench; great authorities on Foreign Policy in other parts of House
+had proposed to say something, more or less soothing. Mr. G. had left
+nothing for anyone to say, unless it were ALPHEUS CLEOPHAS, and the
+TALENTED TOMMY, who, sitting immediately opposite the PREMIER, had,
+whilst he spoke, taken voluminous notes, only occasionally withdrawing
+eyes from manuscript to fix them with look of calm distrust upon the
+aged and unconscious statesman.
+
+"I always like, when I look in," said MARJORIBANKS, smiling
+beneficently from the Bar, "to find TOMMY in his place, taking notes.
+Gives one a sense of security. I feel, when I'm in the Lobby, looking
+after things, it's all right in the House. BROWNING said something of
+that sort. Don't remember exactly how it ran; something in this way:
+
+  TOMMY BOWLES is in his place;
+  It's all right with the Empire."
+
+_Business done._--Mr. G. excelled himself.
+
+_Tuesday._--Seven-leagued Boots not needed by TALENTED TOMMY. He moves
+about universe with ease and grace, unmindful of mountains, regardless
+of ravines, reckless of rivers, oblivious of oceans. Last night, Forty
+Centuries looked down upon him whilst he showed how, in Egypt, Mr. G.
+is wrong, and DILKE, who criticised Ministerial policy, is not right.
+To-night he stands on the Roof of the World, a solitary, colossal
+figure upright on the lone Pamirs. His attitude is of manifold
+mien. Defiant of Russia, suspicious of ROSEBERY, patronising towards
+Afghanistan, he takes young China familiarly by the elbow, and bids
+it be of good cheer, for TOMMY BOWLES is its friend. Since NAPOLEON
+crossed the Alps, and was caught in the act by the brush of the
+painter, the world has not seen so moving a picture as TOMMY throned
+on the grandly desolate Pamirs.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A PATRON OF OLD CHINA. (_Vide "China Bowles
+Collection."_)]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+House almost empty whilst the Talented One discoursed on the subject.
+Mr. G., who misses nothing, happily in his place, listening with
+eager hand at ear whilst TOMMY spoke familiarly of Asiatic rivers
+and mountains, not one with name of less than five syllables. DICKY
+TEMPLE, who really knows something about this mysterious region,
+looked on in blank amazement at TOMMY'S erudition. EDWARD GREY, who
+would presently have to answer this damaging attack, tried to seem
+indifferent. But his young cheek paled when TOMMY put his ruthless
+finger on that Foreign Office dispatch, out of which a line of print
+had been dropped. This a Machiavellian device that had hitherto
+escaped detection. TOMMY'S falcon eye had noted it, his relentless
+foot had followed up the tracks, and he had discovered, on reference
+to the original, that the criminally-deleted line of print embodied
+a reference to the Oxus. That was all. "Only the Oxus!" he said,
+with withering sarcasm. Then changing his tone and manner, he shook
+a minatory forefinger at the shrinking form of the PREMIER, and cried
+aloud, in voice strengthened with long warring with the winds on the
+Pamirs: "Sir, the stream of the Oxus has been entirely omitted from
+this paragraph."
+
+"Poor Mr. G.!" said W. J. LOWTHER, present in his capacity as
+Ex-Under-Secretary for Foreign Affairs. "What with LABBY one night and
+TOMMY BOWLES the next, he has a sad time of it."
+
+"Yes," said PLUNKET, sole companion on the Front Bench. "It's a hard
+fate for a Prime Minister to stand between L. and TOMMY."
+
+_Business done._--Miscellaneous talk on going into Committee of
+Supply.
+
+_Thursday._--Little difficulty arisen in connection with Budget.
+SQUIRE faced by deficit of million and half. This he met by expedient
+that will be historical, as affording JOKIM opportunity for a popular
+jape. The SQUIRE has dropped his penny in the slot, in accordance with
+directions, pulls out the drawer, and finds there is something more
+than the sum necessary to balance the year's account. That is all
+very well; but there are some amateur CHANCELLORS of the EXCHEQUER who
+would do great things with the odd £20,000 or £30,000 which remains as
+surplus. CLARK wants Graduated Income-tax; BARTLEY proposes Abatement
+on Incomes below £200; whilst GRANT LAWSON would let farmers off with
+half the proposed increase. Best of all is, ALPHEUS CLEOPHAS, who
+would straightway abolish the tax on tea. The keen insight of ALPHEUS
+notes the little difficulty about the deficit.
+
+"The CHANCELLOR of the EXCHEQUER," he observed, in his most judicial
+manner, "may ask me to suggest another source of revenue." The SQUIRE
+pricked up his ears; the Committee sat attentive. If ALPHEUS CLEOPHAS
+had given his great mind to consideration of the subject, it might be
+regarded as settled. All waited for his next utterances. "That," he
+continued, in steely tones, "is the CHANCELLOR of the EXCHEQUER'S
+business. Mine is to carry out the Newcastle Programme." ALPHEUS
+CLEOPHAS thereupon resumed his seat, leaving the SQUIRE gloomily
+facing the dead wall of his deficit.
+
+_Business done._--Budget Bill passed report stage.
+
+_Friday Night._--Some young bloods below Gangway, on Ministerial side,
+in distinctly low spirits. On Tuesday night, stage of Budget Bill
+being taken, with ten minutes to spare, ASQUITH nimbly moved reference
+of Employers' Liability Bill to Grand Committee. Opposition, who want
+it referred to Select Committee, were under impression Mr. G. had
+promised discussion should not be taken till Thursday or Friday. Last
+night CHAMBERLAIN protested that they had been betrayed, and deceived.
+Young bloods below Gangway disposed to chuckle over this spectacle.
+Mr. G., on contrary, takes it seriously to heart. Having got Bill
+referred to Grand Committee, positively agrees to rescind Order, and
+begin all over again.
+
+"It's very seldom," says the SAGE OF QUEEN ANNE'S GATE, in most
+melancholy mood, "that our side show themselves capable of doing a
+smart thing. When, by chance, it is accomplished, Mr. G. comes along,
+and coolly undoes it."
+
+To-day, nearly two hours spent in discussing question; Bill,
+eventually, remitted to Grand Committee, as it had been left at
+midnight on Tuesday.
+
+"Shan't play!" cries CHAMBERLAIN. "All very well for you, with your
+majority, to bowl us over, but you won't gain any time by it. You may
+take a horse to the Grand Committee, but you can't make him discuss
+your Bill."
+
+_Business done._--Budget Bill through.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Q. E. D.
+
+(_By a Grumpy Old Bachelor._)
+
+  "'Tis a mad world, my masters!" Grim LOMBROSO
+    Corroborates mild SHAKSPEARE in this matter.
+  And, though _his_ demonstration seems but so-and-so,
+    No doubt the world's as mad as any hatter,
+  The sweeter sex especially! 'Tis sad,
+    But that rule's absolute, depend upon it!
+  'Tis obvious all women _must_ be mad,
+    Because--there is a "b" in _every_ bonnet!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+WILDER IDEAS;
+
+_Or, Conversation as she is spoken at the Haymarket._
+
+_The Disciple._ Ah, that supper after the Theatre! It was the
+unspeakable following the unplayable. I feel so seedy!
+
+_The Master._ Nay, but have I not told you that the two letters to
+follow "X. S." are "S. and B.?" And you have yourself said that "Soda
+and Brandy is the last refuge of the--digestion."
+
+_The Disciple._ Hang it! I can survive everything--except the cast-off
+clothes of my own epigrams,--or, by the bye, death.
+
+[_Exit from this life, to prove it._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Mem. on the Behring-Sea Business.
+
+  A Forty-hours' speech by magniloquent CARTER!
+  That Behring Tribunal has caught a Tartar!
+  Whatever the upshot one cannot but feel
+  'Tis a fine illustration of "Say and Seal!"
+  Though _Bunsby_ might say of this lengthy oration,
+  "The _Behring_ will lie in the application."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+APPROPRIATE SONG (_for anybody connected with the Tourist-Managing
+firm of Gaze, on hearing a Lady say that she was "going to try a
+Cook."_)
+
+  "Ah me! she has gone from our Gaze,
+    That beautiful girl from our door!"
+
+(_The remainder can be added ad libitum, and sung whenever opportunity
+permits._)
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"A MOVE ON THE BOARD" IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.--Our Surprising
+School-Board has voted in favour of allowing its Industrial School
+youths to enjoy "reasonable recreation" on Sundays. Its version of Sir
+WILLIAM JONES'S distich would be something as follows:--
+
+  The morn at Church, the afternoon at play,
+  Will serve to while the Day of Rest away.
+
+Apparently it looks favourably on a modicum of Sunday Cricket or
+Football, and does not taboo even the enormity of Lawn-tennis.
+As against that eminently strict Sabbatarian, Mrs. GRUNDY, the
+tennis-player may defend himself by a reference to the "services" in
+which he is engaged.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: OBVIOUS.
+
+"WANT ANYTHING ON IT, SIR?"
+
+"YES--CONFOUND YOU! MORE HAIR!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A SWINBURNE!
+
+(_See "Nineteenth Century."_)
+
+  I.
+
+  Three times one are always three;
+  Waves are stormy on the sea;
+  Bonnets oft contain a bee;
+      Bear delights in bun.
+  The ALGERNON, that ever
+  Is linked to CHARLES, shall never
+  From poet SWINBURNE sever,
+      The three appear as one.
+
+  II.
+
+  Once he lashed and slashed the Priest,
+  Chopped him up to make a feast,
+  Called him brute and called him beast,
+      Black as crows are black.
+  But now he rhymes "together"
+  (See CALVERLY) with "weather":
+  He might have thrown in "heather,"
+      A rhyme that men call "hack."
+
+  III.
+
+  Clash the cymbal, beat the gong;
+  Sense is weak, but sound is strong;
+  Such is SWINBURNE'S latest song,
+      Made by him alone.
+  See WATTS and KNOWLES around us,--
+  JAMES KNOWLES with cheques hath bound us
+  To write; the Muse hath found us
+      With Putney Hill as throne.
+
+  IV.
+
+  When the wind's Nor-West by West,
+  Man and beast are rarely blessed.
+  Sometimes I like mutton best,
+      Often I like veal.
+  A poet (_not_ a puny 'un)
+  Who raves about the Union,
+  And hymns the States Communion,
+      Takes none the less his meal.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+In the City. Thursday Last.
+
+_First Member of Stock Exchange_ (_Unionist_). I say, JONES, you
+weren't in it! Why didn't you join us marching in procession, with
+CLARKE carrying the Union Jack, eh?
+
+_Second Member of the House._ Why didn't I join you? Because I didn't
+want to make a Union-Jack-ass of myself!
+
+[_Exit, before the retort is possible._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A Pair of Spectacles.
+
+(_After hearing a much interrupted Speech in the Commons._)
+
+  When a batsman has to go
+  To the tent with a "round O,"
+    He knows _he's_ not made a hit.
+  When a Statesman's hitting well,
+  The round "Oh's" around him swell
+    (Dullards' substitutes for wit).
+  In debate or cricket score,
+  The "round O" means _nought_--no more!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE EXPRESSED DIFFERENTLY.
+
+_Fair Hostess._ "GOOD-NIGHT, MAJOR JONES. WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BREAKFAST
+AT NINE; BUT WE'RE NOT VERY PUNCTUAL PEOPLE. INDEED, THE LATER YOU
+APPEAR TO-MORROW MORNING, THE BETTER PLEASED WE SHALL ALL BE!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+May 10, 1893.
+
+MR. PUNCH'S VISION AT THE OPENING OF THE IMPERIAL INSTITUTE.
+
+  _This Spring's soft beauty is a joy for ever;
+  Its loveliness increases; it will never
+  Pass to forgetfulness; we still must keep
+  Fond memories of this Maytime, calm as sleep
+  Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing.
+  Therefore, on this May morning are we wreathing
+  A flowery band, to bind us round the earth,
+  Spite of despondence, of the inhuman dearth
+  Of patriot natures, Mammen-ridden days,
+  And Toil's unhealthy and o'erdarkened ways
+  Made for our mending: yes, in spite of all
+  This Mayday Vision moves away the pall
+  From our dark spirits!_
+
+  KEATS _adapted to the occasion._
+
+  Thy pardon, _Adonais_, pray,
+    That on this memorable morning
+  We twist those lovely lines astray,
+    As modish maid, her charms adorning
+  A trail may twine of eglantine
+    Into the formal "set" of Fashion.
+  Yet wouldst thou gladly lend thy line
+    To present need; for patriot passion,
+  Love of the little sea-girt land,
+    Has ever fired our English singers.
+  Of England's fame, from strand to strand,
+    Their songs have been the widest wingers.
+  So, _Adonais_, this great day
+  Were "Welcome as the flowers in May!"
+
+  The "flowery band" of KEATS'S song
+    Our Empire's sons to-day are wreathing;
+  Long may it bind, and blossom long.
+    The May-flower's fragrance round us breathing
+  Is nothing sweeter than the thought
+    To patriot hearts of loyal union.
+  Together we have toiled and fought,
+    But gay to-day is our communion.
+  BRITANNIA'S helm is crowned with flowers,
+    BRITANNIA'S trident's wreathed with posies,
+  And Fancy sees in Flora's showers
+    Thistles and Shamrocks blent with Roses.
+  The Indian Lotus let us twine
+    With gorgeous bloom from Afric's jungles
+  Canadian Birch with Austral Pine.
+    Tape-bound Officialdom oft bungles;
+  Some blow too hot, some breathe too cold,
+    O'er-chill are some, and some o'er-gushing;
+  But the same blood-stream, warm and bold,
+    Through all our veins is ever rushing;
+  And so to all true hearts to-day
+  Comes "Welcome as the flowers in May!"
+
+  A QUEEN is with us, to evince
+    Imperial sympathy unfailing;
+  And pleasant to our genial PRINCE
+    This proof that all seems now plainsailing;
+  With his great purpose. Some sneered, "Whim!"
+    But general shouts now drown their sneering.
+  A special salvo's due to _him_
+    Amidst to-day's exuberant cheering.
+  Hail the Imperial Institute!
+    And hail the patient Prince promoter!
+  The man who's neither cynic brute,
+    Nor phrase-led sycophantic doter,
+  May echo that. Our patriot tap
+    Is old, well-kept and genuine stingo;
+  Not the chill quidnunc's cold cat-lap,
+    Nor crude fire-water of the Jingo,
+  But sound as good old English ale,
+    Full-bodied, fragrant, mild, and mellow.
+  To try that tap _Punch_ will not fail,
+    Nor any other right good fellow.
+  A bumper of that draught to-day
+  Is "Welcome as the flowers in May!"
+
+  Weave on! And may that "flowery band"
+    Be surer bond than forged steel fetters.
+  Ho! Hands all round! Whilst hand-in-hand
+    We need not fear the fierce sword-whetters
+  Who'd make the pleasant earth a camp,
+    And stain blood-red the white May-flowers.
+  May echoes of no mailèd tramp
+    Disturb ye in your Spring-deck'd bowers,
+  Glad garland-weavers! Heaven bestow
+    "Sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing,"
+  One thing above all others know,
+    Ye who the earth-round band are wreathing,
+  To-day, to-morrow, _any_ day,
+  You're "Welcome as the flowers in May!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"PLAYING THE DUSE."--MR. HORACE SEDGER announces the engagement at the
+Lyric of Mlle. DUSE. The Manager must be prosperous; at all events,
+_he_ is not going to the Duse, but the Duse is coming to him. And as
+to the Theatre--well, if it isn't a success, the Duse is in it!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"SHE ANSWERED 'YUSS'!"--The most recent and most important change of
+name is from "I MAY" to "I WILL."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: MAY 10, 1893.
+
+"THEREFORE ON THIS BRIGHT MAY DAY ARE WE WREATHING A FLOWERY BAND TO
+BIND US ROUND THE EARTH."--KEATS, _slightly altered._]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+THANK YOU!
+
+(_For a Photograph, inscribed "With Ethel Travers's kind regards."_)
+
+[Illustration]
+
+  It was only a week in the brightest of summers,
+    We played tennis and golf, and, when ended the day,
+  We made furious love as two amateur mummers,
+    Whilst Act IV. saw us One in the orthodox way.
+
+  So my holiday ended. I begged a reminder,
+    I asked you to send me a portrait that should
+  Be a sweet recollection, and you, who were kinder
+    Than I ever deserved or dared hope, said you would.
+
+  Then we parted. Life seemed to be painfully lonely,
+    Though I dreamt of a future with you by my side,
+  Till my common-sense seemed to say, "_You_, who are only,
+    Just a poor needy teacher, have _Her_ for a bride!"
+
+  It was true, and I knew it. Yet why had I met you?
+    Why had Fate kept such bitter-sweet fortune in store?
+  So determined I set myself then to forget you,
+    And to let my thoughts dwell on yourself nevermore.
+
+  First your hair with its gold, next your eyes with their laughter,
+    I forgot in a thoroughly workman-like style.
+  Persevering, I never desisted till after
+    Many months I but faintly remembered your smile.
+
+  I completely forgot you (I thought) and the warning
+    Was to save me, I chortled, a future of pain,
+  But you undid it all with your picture this morning,
+    And the same old, old trouble starts over again.
+
+  The Fates are a trifle hard, putting it mildly,
+    For they well might have spared me this finishing touch
+  Of your portrait, which speaking quite calmly yet Wildely,
+    I admire all the more since I hate it so much.
+
+  I shall treasure it, though. Thanks--a thousand--to you, dear.
+    When in sweet meditation your fancy runs free,
+  Is it asking too much that a stray thought or two, dear,
+    From your kindness of heart may come straying to me?
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+POLITICS AND POLITENESS.
+
+DEAR MR. PUNCH,--I see that the Duke of ARGYLL, when he received the
+freedom of the Burgh of Paisley, the other day, told the following
+interesting story:--
+
+    "I was going once to call on a lady in London, and when the
+    door was opened and the servant announced my name, I saw
+    the lady advancing to the door with a look of absolute
+    consternation on her face. I could not conceive what
+    had happened, and thought I had entered her room at some
+    inconvenient moment, but, on looking over her shoulder, I
+    perceived Mr. and Mrs. GLADSTONE sitting at the tea-table, and
+    she evidently thought that there would be some great explosion
+    when we met. She was greatly gratified when nothing of the
+    kind occurred, and we enjoyed a cup of tea as greatly as we
+    had ever done in our lives."
+
+Now, my dear _Mr. Punch_, I have great sympathy with "the Lady," and
+think (with her) the meeting, as described by his Grace of ARGYLL, was
+mild in the extreme. If something out of the common had taken place,
+it would have been far more satisfactory. To make my meaning plainer,
+I give roughly (in dramatic form) what should have happened to have
+made the action worthy of the occasion.
+
+SCENE--_A Drawing-room. Lady entertaining_ Mr. _and_ Mrs. G. _at tea.
+A loud knock heard without._
+
+_Mrs. G._ (_greatly agitated_). Oh dear, I am sure it is he!
+
+_Mr. G._ (_with calm dignity_). Do not fear--if he appears, I shall
+know how to deal with him.
+
+_Lady_ (_pale but calm_). Nay, my good, kind friends, believe me, you
+shall not suffer from the indiscretion of the servant.
+
+_Mrs. G._ (_pushing her husband into a cupboard_). Nay, WILLIAM, for
+my sake! And now to conceal myself, so that he may not suspect his
+presence by my proximity. [_Hides behind the curtains._
+
+_The Duke of Argyll_ (_breaking open the door, and entering
+hurriedly_). And now, Madam, where is my hated foe? I have tracked him
+to this house. It is useless to attempt to conceal him.
+
+_The Lady_ (_laughing uneasily_). Nay, your Grace, you are too
+facetious! Trace the PREMIER here! Next you will be saying that he and
+his good lady were taking tea with me.
+
+_The Duke_ (_suspiciously_). And, no doubt, so they were! This empty
+cup, that half-devoured muffin--to whom do they belong?
+
+_The Lady_ (_with forced gaiety_). Might I not have entertained Mr.
+and Mrs. JOSEPH CHAMBERLAIN, my Lord Duke?
+
+_The Duke_ (_aside_). Can I believe her? (_Aloud._) But if it is as
+you say, I will send away my clansmen who throng the street without.
+(_Opens window and calls._) _Gang a waddy Caller Herring!_ They will
+now depart. (_A sneeze heard off._) What was that?
+
+_The Lady_ (_terrified_). I fancy it was the wind--the cold wind--and
+now, believe me, Mr. GLADSTONE will abandon Home Rule.
+
+_Mr. G._ (_suddenly appearing_). Never! I tell you to your face that
+you are a traitor! [_Sneezes, and hurriedly closes the window._
+
+_The Duke_ (_savagely_). That sneeze shall be your last!
+
+[_Takes up a knife lying on the table._
+
+_Mr. G._ (_repeating the action_). I am ready, Sir!
+
+_Mrs. G._ (_rushing between them_). Oh, WILLIAM! Do not fight!
+
+_The Lady_ (_falling on her knees_). I prithee stay!
+
+_Mr. G._ Never! May the better man win!
+
+_The Duke._ So be it!
+
+[_The Scene closes in upon a desperate duel. Curtain._
+
+_There, Mr. Punch!_ What do you think of that? Still, perhaps, under
+the circumstances of the case, it is better as it is.
+
+  Yours most truly,
+  ONE WHO NEVER PAID TWOPENCE FOR MANNERS.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+THE LITIGANT'S VADE MECUM.
+
+_Question._ Can you tell me the best possible regulations in the
+universe?
+
+_Answer._ Certainly English Common Law.
+
+_Q._ Is English Common Law accessible to everyone?
+
+_A._ Certainly, and if a litigant please, he or she (for sex makes no
+difference) can become his or her own advocate.
+
+_Q._ When a litigant prefers to conduct a case in person, does the
+proceeding invariably save expense?
+
+_A._ Not invariably, because a litigant may have odd views about the
+importance of evidence and the time of professional advisers.
+
+_Q._ When a litigant is afflicted with this lack of knowledge what is
+the customary result?
+
+_A._ That the defendants have to undergo the expense of a
+several-days' trial with counsel to match.
+
+_Q._ Supposing that a journalist, sharply but justly, criticises the
+actions of a man of straw--what can the man of straw do?
+
+_A._ With the aid of some speculative Solicitor, he can commence an
+action for libel.
+
+_Q._ What benefit does the speculative Solicitor obtain?
+
+_A._ The speculative Solicitor, if he can persuade a judge and jury
+to agree, will get his costs, and if the journalist wins he will find
+that the prosecutor or plaintiff is, indeed, a man of straw.
+
+_Q._ Is there any redress?
+
+_A._ None; but a wise journalist will never criticise sharply.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+THE PICK OF THE R.A. PICTURES. No. 2.
+
+No. 139. _Ça donne à penser._ Not a more suggestive pose does any
+portrait possess throughout the Galleries. It is described _tout
+court_ as "ALBERT BRASSEY, Esq.," and 'tis the work (and the pleasure)
+of W. W. OULESS, R.A. "'Tis a fine work!" says BOB to 'ARRY. "O'
+course," returns 'ARRY JOKER. "Great! _'Ow less_ could be expected of
+'im tho', I dun no." It represents an undecided moment in Mr. ALBERT
+BRASSEY'S life. It is as if he were Mr. "_All but_" BRASSEY,
+and wasn't quite certain of what he should do next. There is the
+writing-desk,--shall he indite a letter? If he does so, shall he
+take off his thick-fur coat? Or shall he go hunting, since he has on,
+underneath the furrin' fur, the pink of hunting perfection? Likewise
+he has his whip and his horn, also his boots! He's "got 'em on!" He's
+"got 'em _all_ on!" Or shall he hail the 5,000-ton yacht that's lying
+in the roads just a few yards from his open window, and go out for a
+cruise? He looks happy, but puzzled.
+
+[Illustration: No. 543. _The_ Picture of the Year. Lamp-light reading;
+or, Mr. Punch among the Pretty Pets. "_Dulce est dissipere in joco_."
+H. H. La Thangue.]
+
+No. 167. _The Right Hon. H. H. Fowler, M.P._ "Presentation Portrait,"
+painted by ARTHUR S. COPE. "When the Right Hon. Gentleman rose to
+speak, the House, with the exception of a clerk at the table and
+two small boys (whose presence within the precincts has never been
+satisfactorily accounted for) was empty."--_Extract from The Imaginary
+Times Parliamentary Report of that date._
+
+No. 350. _Mrs. Keeley at the age of Eighty-six._ Looking so well and
+sprightly, that the Artist must have been at considerable pains to
+induce her to sit still just one moment for her portrait. Long may she
+remain with us! Our compliments to the Artist, JULIA B. FOLKARD.
+
+No. 434. Mr. SOMERSCALES has given us the best sea-piece of the year.
+It shows a "_Corvette shortening sail to pick up a shipwrecked crew_."
+"A sale in sight appeared!"--and as the picture, so it is said, was
+immediately sold, so also were those who came too late to make a bid.
+
+No. 524. _Gentleman writing._ "A nice quiet corner for a little
+composition away from all those speaking likenesses." J. W. FORSTER.
+
+No. 533. This is a sad-looking little girl, painted by WILLIAM CARTER.
+She has an unsettled expression. Is she suffering from what the Clown
+calls "teezy-weezies-in-the-pandenoodles," and, as Sir JOHN MILLAIS'S
+"_Bubbles_" served P**RS for an advertisement, is it beyond the range
+of probability that this, being associated with the name of "CARTER,"
+should be intended as a pictorial advertisement for the well-known
+"L-ttle L-v-r P-lls"?
+
+No. 535. Portrait (presumably) of _C. R. Fletcher Lutwidge, Esq._ By
+ST. GEORGE HARE. Ha! Ha! Ha! By St. George you Ha're bound to laugh
+directly you look at it. You can't help it. "C. R. F. L." is chuckling
+to himself and saying, "Ha! Ha! I've just thought of _such_ a funny
+thing! Ha! Ha! Ha!" And he _is_ enjoying it so! As the song says, "O
+Mister (I forget the name), what a funny little man you are!"
+
+No. 553. This, by Mr. MARKHAM SKIPWORTH, is a portrait of _Dr. E. Ker
+Gray, LL.D_ of St. George's Chapel, Mayfair. "KER GRAY!" it ought to
+be "Ker Scarlet."
+
+No. 862. _Portrait of a Gentleman_, by PHIL R. MORRIS, A. The
+Portrait, annoyed at being next to SIDNEY COOPER'S, R A., "_Be it ever
+so humble, &c._," representing head of a jackass, and some sheepish
+sheep, is evidently saying to itself, "Hang the Hanging Committee!
+They show me as next door to a donkey."
+
+No. 888. _The Wedding Gifts._ The pretty Bride is a bit frightened at
+seeing the Groom leading up two bare-back'd steeds. "Oh!" she cries,
+"I can't ride _them_! Why (_to her husband_) did you give me these?"
+"My dear," says he, "why not? Here are the bare-backed steeds, and
+you've already got the Ring." S. E. WALLER.
+
+No. 892. "_Your Health!_" A Birthday Party at Mr. ERNEST HART'S.
+Painted by S. J. SOLOMON. As a subject, the wisdom of SOLOMON is
+questionable as a specimen of Hacademie Hart--ahem! However, to the
+toast of "_Your Health_!" as addressed to Mr. ERNEST HART, Master SOL
+might have added the words, "_Most Ernestly and Hartily_."
+
+No. 928. _Exhibition of Miss Biffin_, "who has no legs to speak of."
+"If you saw my ancles," said _Miss Mowcher_, "I should go home and
+kill myself." But ARTHUR HACKER, whose capital work it is, calls it
+"_Circe_."
+
+No. 937. "_It might have been_," by F. STUART SINDICI, represents
+NAPOLEON and WELLINGTON out walking together, in 1847, near the Horse
+Guards. "It might have been" _if_ .... But it wasn't--though F. STUART
+SINDICI went nap on it, and dreamt it. Why shouldn't JULIUS CÆSAR and
+Lord BROUGHAM have hobnobbed together over Pommery '74 at FRASCATI'S
+in Regent Street, or why shouldn't the Great Duke of MARLBOROUGH and
+Admiral HAMILCAR of Carthage, after leaving _Hoi Adelphoi_ at the
+theatre, have taken supper at RULE'S in Maiden Lane? Why not? "It
+might have been"--of course; why, when you come to think of it,
+there's hardly anything that mightn't have been, _if_ it had only
+taken place. Such possible subjects would fill the most vast picture
+gallery in the _Château d'If_.
+
+[Illustration: An Artist's work "on the Line."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: PICK OF THE PICTURES.
+
+(_New Gallery, Regent Street. Summary of Sixth Summer Exhibition._)]
+
+[Illustration: No. 40. The Bather Bothered. Appropriately painted by
+Mr. Waterhouse, R.A. "Why," exclaims the horrified nymph, "he's lying
+on my clothes!"]
+
+[Illustration: No. 216. Night-Mares. Neptune's Horses, but more
+suggestive of Night Mares. Walter Crane.]
+
+[Illustration: No. 22. "Mr. G." in Churchwarden Church. "Here endeth
+the Second Reading." Sydney P. Hall.]
+
+[Illustration: No. 195. Hurried Moments! An Elopement!! "Never mind
+your things!" he shouted, at the same time that, catching her up and
+holding her in his strong right arm, he started off at a fast run.
+"Better to lose your clothes than miss your train!" C. W. Mitchell.]
+
+[Illustration: No. 27. Posed and Painful! Standing for her photograph,
+and feels that the head-rest is no rest for the head. J. J. Shannon.]
+
+[Illustration: No. 96. The Haunted Glen; or, The Bird-nesting
+Trespasser Conscience-struck. "Oh! I'll pretend I don't see them!"
+Hon. John Collier.]
+
+[Illustration: No. 92. "'Fling' Defiance!" Professor Herkomer's
+Heel-and-toe lads, "Jock and Charlie," back themselves against (No.
+108) Mr. Alfred Hartley's "Harry and Neil,'" sons of Lord Rosebery,
+attired as they are for a reel or a fling, or any form of National
+Sc(h)ottische dance.]
+
+PICK OF THE PICTURES.
+
+(_New Gallery--continued._)
+
+No. 11. "_Her First Ball_;" or, "_Train 'em up in the way she should
+bowl_." Portrait of little girl preparing to be a Lady-Cricketer. She
+has the ball in her hands, and is only waiting to cry out "Play!" G.
+P. JACOMB-HOOD.
+
+
+No. 15. _Charming Picture of Nobody Nowhere_, Miss ANNA ALMA-TADEMA.
+
+No. 20. _Portrait of W. Matthew Hale, Esq._ By JOHN PARKER. "All
+Hale!"
+
+No. 37. "_Silver Mist._" This ought to have been the picture of a
+gentleman in search of a threepenny piece; but it isn't. FRED HALL.
+
+No. 66. _The Departing Guest._ E. BURNE-JONES.
+
+  The ending of the party see,
+  "O let us get a cab for thee!"
+  "Nay," quoth the guest, "I've wings! so I,
+  Like to the trout, will take a fly."
+
+No. 112. _Alderman J. Stone-Wigg._ First Mayor of Tunbridge Wells.
+
+  Indeed you look an Alderman,
+  'Tis true I've seen a balder man.
+  "J. STONE-WIGG" is the name I see,
+  Which "Lost or Stolen-Wig" should be.
+
+No. 160. _Portrait of Lady Simpson. Bravo_, Mr. VAL PRINSEP, A.R.A.
+Uncommonly good. A parody of the old song should have been selected by
+the Artist as a motto for the picture:--
+
+  Lady SIMPSON has a dog--
+    I don't know its name--
+  Pretty tail has dog, _incog._
+    Ribands round the same.
+
+No. 170. "_The Spirit of Life._" By ARCHIE MACGREGOR. "Eh, ARCHIE
+mon! aiblins, 'tis just the whusky-still the Leddie's at, takin' a wee
+drappit i' the 'ee. And why did ye nae ca' it, 'Still Life'"?
+
+No. 177. _Portrait of Mrs. George Lewis._ Excellent, Mr.
+Colour-SARGENT! N.B.--Very few "Sergeants" left; but Mr. GEORGE LEWIS
+has secured the best of them to paint this portrait.
+
+No. 194. Very charming is "_The Closing of an October Day._" By GEORGE
+H. BROUGHTON, A.R.A. He has caught the "Early Closing Movement" to the
+life.
+
+No. 242. "_In the Grip of the Sea-Wolf_"; or, "_Early Bathing at
+Boulogne_." E. M. HALE.
+
+No. 324. And a good Judge too! _Portrait of Sir Douglas Straight._ The
+DOUGLAS, "bearded in his den"! Quarter (Sessions) Length. Sad end to a
+distinguished career to be "quartered, drawn, and hung"! Congratulate
+Artist, Miss VERA CHRISTIE, on good likeness.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: EVOLUTION EXTRAORDINARY.
+
+_British Tourist_ (_who has been served with a Pig's foot_). "WHAT'S
+THIS? I ORDERED QUAIL!"
+
+_Negro Waiter._ "WALL--Y'EV GOT QUAIL!"
+
+_British Tourist_. "QUAIL! WHY A QUAIL'S A BIRD!"
+
+_Negro Waiter._ "NOT HERE!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Anti-Epidemic Treatment.
+
+(_Being Summary of Robson Roosetem Pasha's Article in New Review._)
+
+    Boil Bacillus,
+    Or he'll kill us.
+  From Filter filthy grown
+    Don't drink water,
+    Save rates per quarter,
+  And so "Leave _well_ alone."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+COMPANION WORKS.--Shortly to appear: _My Wife's Bodice_. By the Author
+of _His Wife's Soul_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+TO MY UMBRELLA.
+
+  Good, faithful friend, it seems an age
+    Since last we met and walked together!
+  Upon the _Daily Graphic's_ page
+    For weeks I've watched the coming weather;
+
+  The meteorologic girl,
+    Despite cold arms, seemed almost jolly,
+  And made no effort to unfurl
+    That wonderful archaic brolly.
+
+  So I, grown reckless, did as she.
+    And gave you quite a Long Vacation;
+  Such weather cannot always be,
+    Or you would lose your occupation.
+
+  Think how I've treated you! A pet
+    Might envy all the care I gave you;
+  When worn-out with work and wet,
+    Think how I did my best to save you!
+
+  You soon looked well, and eased my fears--
+    Recovered after over-pressure.
+  When you "took silk" in other years,
+    Think what I paid for each "refresher"!
+
+  When last it rained I had to roll
+    You up quite wet; you've been forgotten.
+  It rains once more. What's this? A hole?
+    By Jove, the silk's completely rotten!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+THE STAGE-COACH FIASCO.--The Meet, which was ordered for 11:30 last
+Thursday, wasn't done, and so there was no Lunch.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+ON THE INCOME-TAX.
+
+[By an already over-burdened tax-payer who derived neither
+enlightenment nor comfort from the wordy war about a "Graduated
+Income-Tax" between Mr. BARTLEY and Sir WILLIAM HARCOURT.]
+
+    "Graduation" seems vexation,
+    "Differentiation" looks as bad.
+          Their the-o-rie
+          It puzzles me.
+  But their _practice_ drives me mad!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"THAT'S SWEAR IT IS!"--In bygone days, when the Princess's was under
+the management of Mr. and Mrs. CHARLES KEAN, there was a fine imposed
+on any member of the company who should make use of bad language
+in the Green-Room. One evening a distinguished actor so far forgot
+himself as to let slip an expletive of three simple letters, whereat
+Mrs. KEAN held up her hands in horror and quitted the room, followed
+by the actresses who happened to be present. Subsequently some wag at
+the Garrick Club wrote a song whereof the burden was "The Man who said
+'dam' in the Green-Room." _Tempora mutantur_, and now, at the Avenue
+Theatre, under the management of Mr. and Mrs. KENDAL in the Green-Room
+and behind the scenes, as well as on the stage, "DAM" will be in
+everyone's mouth, as this happens to be the name of the Author of
+their latest successful production.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+THE NEWEST TALE OF A TUB.
+
+(_By a Sufferer from the Modern Laundry System._)
+
+          Rub-a-rub-rub!
+          Three ghouls at a tub:
+  Our shirts and our collars they savagely scrub.
+          The fronts they make baggéd,
+          The wristbands quite jaggéd,
+  And send home our linen all rotten and ragged!
+
+          Scrub-a-scrub-scrub!
+          Three fiends at a tub:
+  In chemical bleachings they dabble and grub.
+          Our shirts each bespatters
+          Then brush them to tatters.
+  The wearers get mad as March hares or as hatters!
+
+          Rub-a-scrub-scrub!
+          Three hags at a tub:
+  They scrape with a wire-brush, and pound with a club!
+          Smash buttons, burst stitches,
+          And--swell Laundry riches!
+  _Who'll save us from this cauldron-tub's dread Three Witches?_
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The Stock Exchange, _Mr. Punch_ understands, has gone into politics.
+With a view to test the knowledge of the brokers who "proceshed" to
+the Guildhall, he asks them,--What is the Commission upon Evicted
+Tenants? All sellers, no buyers.
+
+
+
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+
+Transcriber's Note:
+
+Sundry broken punctuation has been corrected.
+
+
+
+***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI, VOL.
+104, MAY 13, 1893***
+
+
+******* This file should be named 26708-8.txt or 26708-8.zip *******
+
+
+This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
+https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/6/7/0/26708
+
+
+
+Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
+will be renamed.
+
+Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
+one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
+(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
+permission and without paying copyright royalties.  Special rules,
+set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
+copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to
+protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark.  Project
+Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you
+charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission.  If you
+do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the
+rules is very easy.  You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose
+such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and
+research.  They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do
+practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks.  Redistribution is
+subject to the trademark license, especially commercial
+redistribution.
+
+
+
+*** START: FULL LICENSE ***
+
+THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
+PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
+
+To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
+distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
+(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at
+https://www.gutenberg.org/license).
+
+
+Section 1.  General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic works
+
+1.A.  By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
+and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
+(trademark/copyright) agreement.  If you do not agree to abide by all
+the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy
+all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession.
+If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the
+terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or
+entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.
+
+1.B.  "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark.  It may only be
+used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
+agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement.  There are a few
+things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
+even without complying with the full terms of this agreement.  See
+paragraph 1.C below.  There are a lot of things you can do with Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement
+and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.  See paragraph 1.E below.
+
+1.C.  The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation"
+or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works.  Nearly all the individual works in the
+collection are in the public domain in the United States.  If an
+individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are
+located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from
+copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative
+works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg
+are removed.  Of course, we hope that you will support the Project
+Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by
+freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of
+this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with
+the work.  You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by
+keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others.
+
+1.D.  The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
+what you can do with this work.  Copyright laws in most countries are in
+a constant state of change.  If you are outside the United States, check
+the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement
+before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or
+creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project
+Gutenberg-tm work.  The Foundation makes no representations concerning
+the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United
+States.
+
+1.E.  Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
+
+1.E.1.  The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate
+access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently
+whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the
+phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed,
+copied or distributed:
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+1.E.2.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived
+from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is
+posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied
+and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees
+or charges.  If you are redistributing or providing access to a work
+with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the
+work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1
+through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the
+Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or
+1.E.9.
+
+1.E.3.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
+with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
+must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional
+terms imposed by the copyright holder.  Additional terms will be linked
+to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the
+permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.
+
+1.E.4.  Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
+work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.
+
+1.E.5.  Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
+electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
+prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
+active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm License.
+
+1.E.6.  You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
+compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any
+word processing or hypertext form.  However, if you provide access to or
+distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than
+"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version
+posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org),
+you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a
+copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon
+request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other
+form.  Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
+
+1.E.7.  Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
+performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
+unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
+
+1.E.8.  You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
+access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided
+that
+
+- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
+     the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
+     you already use to calculate your applicable taxes.  The fee is
+     owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he
+     has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the
+     Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.  Royalty payments
+     must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you
+     prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax
+     returns.  Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and
+     sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the
+     address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to
+     the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."
+
+- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
+     you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
+     does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+     License.  You must require such a user to return or
+     destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium
+     and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of
+     Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any
+     money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
+     electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days
+     of receipt of the work.
+
+- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
+     distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+1.E.9.  If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set
+forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from
+both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael
+Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark.  Contact the
+Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.
+
+1.F.
+
+1.F.1.  Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
+effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
+public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm
+collection.  Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain
+"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or
+corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual
+property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a
+computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by
+your equipment.
+
+1.F.2.  LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right
+of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
+liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
+fees.  YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
+LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
+PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3.  YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
+TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
+LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
+INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
+DAMAGE.
+
+1.F.3.  LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
+defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
+receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
+written explanation to the person you received the work from.  If you
+received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with
+your written explanation.  The person or entity that provided you with
+the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a
+refund.  If you received the work electronically, the person or entity
+providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to
+receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund.  If the second copy
+is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further
+opportunities to fix the problem.
+
+1.F.4.  Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
+in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO OTHER
+WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
+WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
+
+1.F.5.  Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
+warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages.
+If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the
+law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be
+interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by
+the applicable state law.  The invalidity or unenforceability of any
+provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.
+
+1.F.6.  INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
+trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
+providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance
+with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production,
+promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works,
+harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees,
+that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do
+or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm
+work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any
+Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause.
+
+
+Section  2.  Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
+electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers
+including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers.  It exists
+because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from
+people in all walks of life.
+
+Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
+assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's
+goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
+remain freely available for generations to come.  In 2001, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
+and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations.
+To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
+and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4
+and the Foundation web page at https://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/pglaf.
+
+
+Section 3.  Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive
+Foundation
+
+The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
+501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
+state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
+Revenue Service.  The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification
+number is 64-6221541.  Contributions to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent
+permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.
+
+The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S.
+Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered
+throughout numerous locations.  Its business office is located at
+809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email
+business@pglaf.org.  Email contact links and up to date contact
+information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official
+page at https://www.gutenberg.org/about/contact
+
+For additional contact information:
+     Dr. Gregory B. Newby
+     Chief Executive and Director
+     gbnewby@pglaf.org
+
+Section 4.  Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
+spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
+increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
+freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
+array of equipment including outdated equipment.  Many small donations
+($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
+status with the IRS.
+
+The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
+charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
+States.  Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
+considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
+with these requirements.  We do not solicit donations in locations
+where we have not received written confirmation of compliance.  To
+SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any
+particular state visit https://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/donate
+
+While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
+have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
+against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
+approach us with offers to donate.
+
+International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
+any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
+outside the United States.  U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
+
+Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
+methods and addresses.  Donations are accepted in a number of other
+ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations.
+To donate, please visit:
+https://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/donate
+
+
+Section 5.  General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.
+
+Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm
+concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared
+with anyone.  For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project
+Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
+editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S.
+unless a copyright notice is included.  Thus, we do not necessarily
+keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.
+
+Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility:
+
+     https://www.gutenberg.org
+
+This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
+including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
+Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
+subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.
+
diff --git a/26708-8.zip b/26708-8.zip
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..8dd2bfb
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-8.zip
diff --git a/26708-h.zip b/26708-h.zip
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..8badab6
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h.zip
diff --git a/26708-h/26708-h.htm b/26708-h/26708-h.htm
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..3cb25e6
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/26708-h.htm
@@ -0,0 +1,2219 @@
+<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd">
+<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">
+<head>
+<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=ISO-8859-1" />
+<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 104, May 13, 1893, by Various</title>
+  <style type="text/css">
+  body                 {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;}
+  p                    {text-align: justify;}
+  .ind                 {margin-left: 25%;}
+  .indrl               {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;}
+  blockquote           {text-align: justify;}
+  h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6    {text-align: center;}
+  .sc                  {font-variant: small-caps;}
+  .center              {text-align: center;}
+  .center1             {text-align: center; font-size: 0.7em;}
+  td                   {padding-left: 1em;}
+  td.right             {padding-left: 1em; font-size: 0.8em;}
+  td.pics              {padding-left: 0.1em; padding-right: 0.1em; font-size: 0.8em;}
+  td.picsr             {padding-left: 1.0em; padding-right: 0.1em; font-size: 0.8em;}
+  td.main              {text-align: left; font-size: 1.0em; padding-left: 0; padding-right: 1em;}
+  td.note              {text-align: left;font-size: 0.9em; font-weight: normal; border: 1px dashed; padding: 1em;}
+  ul.none              {font-size: 1.0em; margin-left: 10%; list-style-type: none;}
+  hr                   {text-align: center; width: 50%;}
+  html>body hr         {margin-right: 25%; margin-left: 25%; width: 50%;}
+  hr.full              {width: 100%;}
+  html>body hr.full    {margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 0%; width: 100%;}
+  hr.medium            {width: 76%;}
+  html>body hr.medium  {margin-right: 12%; margin-left: 12%; width: 76%;}
+  hr.short             {text-align: center; width: 20%;}
+  html>body hr.short   {margin-right: 40%; margin-left: 40%; width: 20%;}
+  ins                  {text-decoration: none; border-bottom: dashed 1px silver;}
+  .note, .footnote     {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-size: 0.9em;}
+
+  span.pagenum
+  {position: absolute; left: 1%; right: 91%; font-size: 8pt; text-indent: 0;}
+
+  .poem
+  {margin-left:25%; margin-right:10%; margin-bottom: 1em; text-align: left;}
+  .poem .stanza        {margin: 1em 0em 1em 0em;}
+  .poem p              {margin: 0; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;}
+  .poem p.i2           {margin-left: 1em;}
+  .poem p.i4           {margin-left: 2em;}
+  .poem p.i6           {margin-left: 3em;}
+  .poem p.i8           {margin-left: 4em;}
+  .poem p.i10          {margin-left: 5em;}
+  .poem p.i12          {margin-left: 6em;}
+  .poem p.i14          {margin-left: 7em;}
+  .poem p.i16          {margin-left: 8em;}
+  .poem p.i18          {margin-left: 9em;}
+  .poem p.i20          {margin-left: 10em;}
+  .poem p.i22          {margin-left: 11em;}
+  .poem p.i24          {margin-left: 12em;}
+  .poem p.i26          {margin-left: 13em;}
+  .poem p.i28          {margin-left: 14em;}
+  .poem p.i30          {margin-left: 15em;}
+  .poem p.i32          {margin-left: 16em;}
+  .poem p.i34          {margin-left: 17em;}
+  .poem p.i36          {margin-left: 18em;}
+  .poem p.i38          {margin-left: 19em;}
+  .poem p.i40          {margin-left: 20em;}
+
+  .poem1
+  {margin-left:5%; margin-right:10%; margin-bottom: 1em; text-align: left;}
+  .poem1 .stanza        {margin: 1em 0em 1em 0em;}
+  .poem1 p              {margin: 0; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;}
+  .poem1 p.i2           {margin-left: 1em;}
+  .poem1 p.i4           {margin-left: 2em;}
+  .poem1 p.i6           {margin-left: 3em;}
+  .poem1 p.i8           {margin-left: 4em;}
+  .poem1 p.i10          {margin-left: 5em;}
+
+  .poem1a
+  {margin-left:10%; margin-right:10%; margin-bottom: 1em; text-align: left;}
+  .poem1a .stanza        {margin: 1em 0em 1em 0em;}
+  .poem1a p              {margin: 0; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;}
+  .poem1a p.i2           {margin-left: 1em;}
+  .poem1a p.i4           {margin-left: 2em;}
+  .poem1a p.i6           {margin-left: 3em;}
+  .poem1a p.i8           {margin-left: 4em;}
+  .poem1a p.i10          {margin-left: 5em;}
+  .poem1a p.i16            {margin-left: 8em;}
+
+  .figure, .figcenter, .figright, .figleft
+  {padding: 1em; margin: 0; text-align: center; font-size: 0.8em;}
+  .figure img, .figcenter img, .figright img, .figleft img
+                       {border: none;}
+  .figure p, .figcenter p, .figright p, .figleft p
+                       {margin: 0; text-indent: 1em;}
+  .figcenter           {margin: auto;}
+  .figright            {float: right;}
+  .figleft             {float: left;}
+
+  .inline              {border: none; vertical-align: middle;}
+
+  p.author {text-align: right; margin-top: -1em;}
+
+    hr.pg   { width: 100%;
+              margin-top: 0em;
+              margin-bottom: 0em;
+              border: solid black;
+              height: 5px; }
+    pre      {font-size: 85%; }
+  </style>
+</head>
+<body>
+<h1>The Project Gutenberg eBook, Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 104, May
+13, 1893, by Various, Edited by F. C. (Francis Cowley) Burnand</h1>
+<pre>
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at <a href = "http://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a></pre>
+<p>Title: Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 104, May 13, 1893</p>
+<p>Author: Various</p>
+<p>Editor: F. C. (Francis Cowley) Burnand</p>
+<p>Release Date: September 27, 2008  [eBook #26708]</p>
+<p>Language: English</p>
+<p>Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1</p>
+<p>***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI, VOL. 104, MAY 13, 1893***</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<h3>E-text prepared by Lesley Halamek, Juliet Sutherland,<br />
+    and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team<br />
+    (http://www.pgdp.net)</h3>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<hr class="pg" />
+
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="page217" id="page217"></a>[pg 217]</span>
+
+<h1>Punch, or the London Charivari</h1>
+
+<h2>Volume 104, May 13th 1893</h2>
+
+<h3><i>edited by Sir Francis Burnand</i></h3>
+
+<hr class="full" />
+
+
+<h2>MIXED NOTIONS.</h2>
+
+<h4>No. X.&mdash;THE BEHRING-SEA ARBITRATION.</h4>
+
+
+<p class="center">(<i>Scene and Persons as usual.</i> <i>The Conversation has already begun.</i>)</p>
+
+<p><i>First Well-informed Man</i> (<i>concluding a tirade</i>). &mdash;&mdash; so what I
+want to know is this: are we or are we not to submit to the
+Yankees? It's all very well talking about Chicago Exhibitions and
+all that, but if they're going to capture our ships and prevent us
+killing seals, why, the sooner we tell 'em to go to
+blue blazes the better. And as for its being a
+<i>mare clausum</i>&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width:150px;"><a href="images/217a.png"><img src="images/217a-150.png" width="150" height="255" alt="" /></a></div>
+
+<p><i>Inquirer</i> (<i>interrupting</i>). Who was she? What's
+she got to do with it?</p>
+
+<p><i>First W. I. M.</i> (<i>laughing vigorously</i>). Ha! ha!
+that's a good 'un.</p>
+
+<p><i>Inquirer</i> (<i>nettled</i>). Oh, laugh away, laugh away.
+That's you all over.</p>
+
+<p><i>First W. I. M.</i> My dear chap, I'm very sorry,
+but I really couldn't help it. There's no woman
+in the business at all. <i>Mare clausum</i> merely
+means the place where they catch the seals, you
+know; <i>mare</i>, Latin for sea.</p>
+
+<p><i>Inquirer.</i> Oh! I should have known that
+directly, if you'd only pronounced it properly. But what does
+<i>clausum</i> mean?</p>
+
+<p><i>First W. I. M.</i> Well, of course, that means&mdash;well, a clause, don't
+you know. It's in the treaty.</p>
+
+<p><i>Average Man</i> (<i>looking up from his paper</i>). It used to be the Latin
+for "closed," but I suppose it's altered now.</p>
+
+<p><i>First W. I. M.</i> (<i>incredulously</i>). It can't mean that, anyhow.
+Who ever heard of a closed sea, I should like to know?</p>
+
+<p><i>Second W. I. M.</i> (<i>hazarding a suggestion</i>). It <i>might</i> mean a
+harbour,
+you know, or something of that sort.</p>
+
+<p><i>Average Man.</i> I daresay it <i>might</i> mean that, but it doesn't happen
+to be a harbour (<i>relapses into paper</i>).</p>
+
+<p><i>Second W. I. M.</i> Oh, well, I only made the suggestion.
+<span style="float: right">[<i>A pause.</i></span></p>
+
+<p style="margin-top: 2em;"><i>Inquirer.</i> But what are they arbitrating about in Paris? It says
+(<i>reading from newspaper</i>) "When Mr. <span class="sc">Carter</span>, the United States
+Counsel, had concluded his speech, he was complimented by the
+President, the Baron <span class="sc">de Courcel</span>, who told him he had spoken on
+behalf of humanity." I thought old <span class="sc">Carnot</span> was President of the
+French Republic.</p>
+
+<p><i>First W. I. M.</i> So he is.</p>
+
+<p><i>Inquirer</i>. But this paper says Baron <span class="sc">de Courcel</span> is President.</p>
+
+<p><i>Second W. I. M.</i> Oh, I suppose that's one of <span class="sc">Carnot</span>'s titles,
+All these blessed foreigners are Barons, or something of that sort.</p>
+
+<p><i>Inquirer.</i> Ah, I suppose that must be it. But what have the
+French got to do with the Behring Sea? I thought it was all
+between us and the Yankees.</p>
+
+<p><i>First W. I. M.</i> So it is&mdash;but the French are arbitrating. That's
+how they come into the business. I can't say, personally, I like
+these arbitrations. We're always arbitrating now, and giving
+everything away. If we think we're right, why can't we say so,
+and stick to it, and let the French, and the Yankees, and the
+Russians, and all the rest of 'em, take it from us, if they can?</p>
+
+<p><i>Second W. I. M.</i> Take what from us?</p>
+
+<p><i>First W. I. M.</i> Why, whatever it happens to be, the Behring
+Sea, or anything else. We're so deuced afraid of everybody now,
+we never show fight; it's perfectly sickening. But of course you
+can't expect anything else from old <span class="sc">Gladstone</span>.</p>
+
+<p><i>Second W. I. M.</i> That's right&mdash;shove it all on to old <span class="sc">Gladstone</span>.
+But you're wrong this time. It was <span class="sc">Jo Chamberlain</span>, one of your
+own blessed Unionists, that you're so proud of, who arranged this
+arbitration.</p>
+
+<p><i>First W. I. M.</i> I know that, my dear boy; but <span class="sc">Chamberlain</span>
+was a Radical then; so where are you now?<span style="float: right">[<i>A pause.</i></span></p>
+
+<p style="margin-top: 2em;"><i>Inquirer</i> (<i>who has continued his reading, suddenly, with a puzzled
+air</i>). I say, you know, this is too much of a good thing, bringing the
+Russians into the business. It says&mdash;(<i>reads</i>)&mdash;"documents were
+submitted, on behalf of the United States, to prove that Russia had
+never abandoned her sovereign rights in the manner suggested by
+Great Britain." How, on earth, does Russia manage to crop up
+everywhere? And where is this confounded Behring Sea?</p>
+
+<p><i>Second W. I. M.</i> (<i>vaguely</i>). It's somewhere in America, or
+Newfoundland, or thereabouts.</p>
+
+<p><i>Inquirer.</i> But how about Russia?</p>
+
+<p><i>Second W. I. M.</i> Oh, Russia shoves her oar in whenever we get
+into a difficulty of any kind anywhere.</p>
+
+<p><i>Inquirer</i> (<i>persisting</i>). Yes&mdash;but how can she have any "sovereign
+rights" in America?</p>
+
+<p><i>Second W. I. M.</i> (<i>haughtily, but evasively</i>). My dear fellow, if
+you had followed the thing properly, you wouldn't ask the question.
+There's no time now to explain it all to you, as it's very complicated,
+and goes back a long way. But you may take it from me
+that Russia has got certain rights, and that she means to make
+things as disagreeable for us as she can.<span style="float: right">[<i>A pause.</i></span></p>
+
+<p style="margin-top: 2em;"><i>Inquirer.</i> It's rather a rum start, isn't it? sending out Sir
+<span class="sc">Charles Russell</span> and Sir <span class="sc">Richard Webster</span>. They're on opposite
+sides of politics.</p>
+
+<p><i>First W. I. M.</i> That's just why they send 'em. <span class="sc">Russell</span> has
+got to put the Liberal view, and <span class="sc">Webster</span> the Conservative.</p>
+
+<p><i>Inquirer.</i> Of course, of course; I never thought of that. By the
+way, have you ever seen a seal?</p>
+
+<p><i>First W. I. M.</i> They've got one at the Zoo. Catches
+fish, and kisses the keeper, and all that sort of game.</p>
+
+<p><i>Inquirer.</i> What, that big beast that looks as if it was made of
+india-rubber, with long whiskers and a sort of fish-tail?</p>
+
+<p><i>First W. I. M.</i> That's it.</p>
+
+<p><i>Inquirer</i> (<i>with profound disgust</i>). Well, I <i>am</i> blessed! Is
+<i>that</i> all
+they're jawing about?<span style="float: right">[<i>Terminus.</i></span></p>
+<br clear="all" />
+<hr />
+
+<h3>IN MEMORIAM&mdash;"THE DEVIL'S OWN."</h3>
+
+<blockquote><p>
+["Notwithstanding the efforts made by the Inns of Court Rifles, supported
+by the Authorities of the Inns, to increase the strength of the corps, the
+additional enrolments lately made have been judged by the War Office not
+sufficient to warrant the continued maintenance of the corps as an independent
+battalion; and orders have been given for its reduction from six to four
+companies, for the withdrawal of the Adjutant, and for the attachment of the
+corps to the 4th Middlesex Rifles."&mdash;<i>Daily Paper.</i>]
+</p></blockquote>
+
+<div class="poem">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>Oh, how bright were the days when we all of us saw</p>
+<p>In their martial equipment the limbs of the Law.</p>
+<p>With their helmets and rifles, and pouches complete,</p>
+<p>(May I quote from the ladies), they "really looked sweet."</p>
+<p>The Colonel, the Major, and all their attendants,</p>
+<p>Appeared not as counsel, since all were defendants;</p>
+<p>And no soldierly spirit could equal the Bar's,</p>
+<p>When Themis, its goddess, was mated with Mars.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>No more shall they charm us; harsh Fate with her shears</p>
+<p>Has severed the thread of the Law's Volunteers.</p>
+<p>And, whatever the cause was, 'twas certainly true</p>
+<p>That these fee-less defenders at last were too few.</p>
+<p>So now they're absorbed, and, no longer the same,</p>
+<p>They lose by attachment their being and name.</p>
+<p>And the old Devil's Own, from their discipline loosed,</p>
+<p>Have gone to their owner; <i>i.e.</i>, they're <i>re-duced</i>.</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3>ENGLISH AS SHE IS SPOKE.</h3>
+
+<p class="center">(<i>In the House and out of it.</i>)</p>
+
+<p>The Parliamentary Committee appointed to consider the best mode
+of reporting in the House, have decided that it will be advisable to
+allow Members to have an opportunity of revising their speeches after
+they have been "taken down" verbatim. The result of this suggestion
+will probably be as follows:&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width:150px;"><a href="images/217b.png"><img src="images/217b-150.png" width="150" height="321" alt="'Spoke? Rather!'" /></a>
+<p class="center">"Spoke? Rather!"</p></div>
+
+<h3>MR. SYMPLE-STUTTER'S SPEECH.</h3>
+
+<p class="center">(<i>Verbatim Report.</i>)</p>
+
+<p>Mr. <span class="sc">Speaker</span>, Sir, What I mean to say, I
+venture to think is that the British Empire&mdash;yes
+Sir&mdash;that is what I venture to think, and
+<i>I</i> am a young Member. For I do not believe&mdash;no
+not now&mdash;or in fact, when otherwise. For
+envy and malice are together. I venture to
+think that sometimes the British Empire. Yes
+Sir, for the enemies are at our gates with the
+past and the future. When the sun sinks&mdash;not
+that it follows&mdash;at least so I venture to
+think. You may believe me, Sir, that it is
+farthest from my thoughts when the British
+Empire and the sinking sun which I venture to
+think is&mdash;in point of fact the setting sun, and
+I venture to think the British Empire, and that
+is I venture to think was my proposal in the past&mdash;which
+has the terrors of the present from generation to generation.</p>
+
+<p class="center">(<i>Revised Report.</i>)</p>
+
+<p>Mr. <span class="sc">Speaker</span>, Sir, at a time like the present&mdash;when the enemies of
+the Empire are clamouring at our gates, when envy walks hand-in-hand
+with malice, and our fate is in our own hands&mdash;we should be
+bold and resolute. It is not for a young Member like myself to
+point out the course that we should pursue, but I venture to think
+that, by ignoring the terrors of the past with the courage of the
+present, we shall avert the dangers of the future. It has been said&mdash;and
+truly said&mdash;that the sun never sets upon the British Empire.
+Let us believe in that sun, and find in its rays an earnest of that
+glory which was the birthright of our ancestors, and which, should
+be the birthright of our descendants from generation to generation.</p>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="page218" id="page218"></a>[pg 218]</span>
+
+<hr />
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width:600px;"><a href="images/218.png"><img src="images/218-430.png" width="430" height="490" alt="ANTONY AND CLEOPATRA." /></a>
+<h3>ANTONY AND CLEOPATRA.</h3>
+
+<p><i>Antony</i> ... <span class="sc">John Bull.</span> <i>Cleopatra</i> ... <span class="sc">Egypt.</span>
+<i>Mec&aelig;nas</i> ... <span class="sc">H. L-b-ch-re.</span> <i>Enobarbus</i> ...
+<span class="sc">Gl-dst-ne.</span></p>
+
+<p><i>Mec&aelig;nas</i> (<i>aside to</i> <span class="sc">Enobarbus</span>). "<span class="sc">Now Antony must leave
+her utterly.</span>"</p>
+
+<p><i>Enobarbus</i> (<i>aside to</i> <span class="sc">Mec&aelig;nas</span>). "<span class="sc">Never; he will
+not.</span>" (<i>Apart.</i>) "<span class="sc">At least, not yet.</span>"</p>
+
+
+<p style="float: right;"><i>Ant. and Cleo., Act II. Scene 2, adapted.</i></p></div>
+
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3>MR. GLADSTONE'S CHANGE OF NAME.</h3>
+
+<div class="poem">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>He was "The People's <span class="sc">William</span>." He will</p>
+<p>Be known in future as "Our Home-Rule <span class="sc">Bill</span>."</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<blockquote><p><span class="sc">High Notes for a Violin.</span>&mdash;Last week a Stradivarius (<i>vide
+Daily News</i>), a real genuine "Strad," sold at <span class="sc">Puttick and Simpson's</span>
+for &pound;860.</p> <p class="author">Fiddle de L. S. Dee!</p></blockquote>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="sc">In the Time of the Restauration.</span>&mdash;They're going it! Feeding,
+feeding everywhere, and not a bit to eat&mdash;without paying for
+it pretty heavily. We gather from a note in <i>Sala's Journal</i>, that
+<span class="sc">Long's</span> Hotel now possesses a "Restauration." Of course, those
+who live in "Short's Gardens," won't be able to patronise "<span class="sc">Long's</span>."
+The management is announced as under the direction of a "<span class="sc">M.
+Diette</span>," and, as he has obtained no inconsiderable renown (so we
+are informed) at the Berkeley and Bristol, patrons of <span class="sc">Long's</span> may
+expect something superior, by way of "<span class="sc">Diette</span>-ary."</p>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="page219" id="page219"></a>[pg 219]</span>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3>MR. PUNCH TO THE BETROTHED PAIR.</h3>
+
+<p class="center">(<i>The Duke of York and the Princess May of Teck.</i>)</p>
+
+<h4><span class="sc">May 3, 1893.</span></h4>
+
+
+<div class="poem">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>'Mid the bird-chorus of the May,</p>
+<p class="i2">From glade and garden madly ringing,</p>
+<p>There sounds one welcome note to-day,</p>
+<p class="i2">Round the glad world its way 'tis winging.</p>
+<p>You hear&mdash;you hear the general cheer</p>
+<p class="i2">That greets it! 'Twill suffice to show you</p>
+<p>That all who love you joy to hear.</p>
+<p class="i2">And all who love are all who know you!</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>Soft music of the marriage-bell</p>
+<p class="i2">Seems woven 'midst the world's Spring Voices.</p>
+<p>In truth, there's little need to tell</p>
+<p class="i2">How in the prospect <i>Punch</i> rejoices.</p>
+<p>His well-pleased eye has watched your way;</p>
+<p class="i2">His loyal heart has shared your sadness;</p>
+<p>Now on this bright Betrothal-Day</p>
+<p class="i2">Your gladness he acclaims&mdash;with gladness!</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p>How is Mr. <span class="sc">F. Luke Fildes</span>,
+R.A.?&mdash;In excellent health we
+sincerely hope, but from seeing
+daily, in the front sheet of the
+<i>Times</i>, an advertisement commencing
+"The Doctor after <span class="sc">Luke
+Fildes</span>, R.A." Many friends
+began to feel anxious. We are
+glad to be able to add, that, in
+answer to the numerous inquiries
+made at 39, Old Bond Street, a
+most satisfactory report has been
+obtained.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width:500px;"><a href="images/219.png"><img src="images/219-370.png" width="370" height="487" alt="'HONOURS EASY.'" /></a>
+<h3>"HONOURS EASY."</h3>
+
+<p><i>First Undergraduate.</i> "<span class="sc">I say, Old Man, did you win your
+Money?</span>"</p>
+
+<p><i>Second Un.</i> "<span class="sc">'Course not; won Somebody else's. <i>You</i> lost
+<i>your</i> Coin, didn't you?</span>"</p>
+
+<p><i>First Un.</i> "<span class="sc">My Coin! What are you talking about? I lost
+the Guv'nor's!</span>"</p></div>
+
+<hr />
+
+
+<h3>MUSE v. MECHANIC.</h3>
+
+<blockquote><p>["Mr. <span class="sc">Norman Gale</span>&mdash;the Muse
+of orchards and pretty girls with
+polished knees; a charm often left
+unsung."</p>
+<p class="author">&mdash;<i>Mr. Andrew Lang on the
+Poems of "A Country Muse."</i>]</p></blockquote>
+
+<div class="poem">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>"A Country Muse" sings, if you please,</p>
+<p>Of pretty girls "with polished knees"!</p>
+<p class="i2">One would not quite demolish</p>
+<p>The graphic rhymester's stock-in-trade,</p>
+<p>But if bare knees must be displayed,</p>
+<p class="i2">He <i>might</i> forego the polish.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>It smacks of fustian! Workmen's "bags"</p>
+<p>Are very "polished" where the "sags"</p>
+<p class="i2">From salient joints protuberant,</p>
+<p>Grow shiny with continual friction;</p>
+<p>But "polished knees" in poet's diction</p>
+<p class="i2">Strike one as too exuberant.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>Say varnished elbows, burnished knuckles,</p>
+<p>And you'll elicit scornful chuckles</p>
+<p class="i2">From Muse and from Mechanic!</p>
+<p>Selections from the terms of trade</p>
+<p>Would put, I'm very much afraid,</p>
+<p class="i2">Parnassus in a panic.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>The bards are sometimes rather free</p>
+<p>With feminine anatomy;</p>
+<p class="i2">Their catalogues erotic</p>
+<p>Of pretty girls' peculiar "points,"</p>
+<p>Their eyes and limbs, and curves and joints,</p>
+<p class="i2">Are often idiotic.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>But if we must be told, sometimes,</p>
+<p>Ladies have limbs, then that your rhymes</p>
+<p class="i2">May not offend or fog any,</p>
+<p>Don't <i>mechanise</i> a maiden's charms;</p>
+<p>Leave "polishing" to legs and arms</p>
+<p class="i2">Of walnut or mahogany.</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3>RHYMES ON THE DECAY OF ROMANCE.</h3>
+
+<p class="center">(<i>Suggested by Mr. Frederic Harrison's recent Article in "The Forum."</i>)</p>
+
+<div class="poem">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>Oh, list to Mr. <span class="sc">Harrison</span> lamenting from <i>The Forum</i>,</p>
+<p>Imagination done to death by latter-day decorum!</p>
+<p>"Good boys and girls" we've all become, and modern men and maidens see</p>
+<p>The world with such prosaic eyes, Romance is in decadency!</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>We're too absorbed in Politics, enamoured of Monotony,</p>
+<p>To give an ear to Geniuses (supposing we had <i>got</i> any!)</p>
+<p>But First-Class in our Fiction Mr. <span class="sc">Harrison</span> abolishes,</p>
+<p>Indeed most Authors travel Third, their talent so toll-lollish is.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>It's all the <i>Fin-de-Si&egrave;cle's</i> fault&mdash;and this, of course, a true bill is;</p>
+<p>For Genius puts its shutters up when centuries pass their jubilees!</p>
+<p>As Mr. <span class="sc">Harrison</span> can prove by references historical,&mdash;</p>
+<p>And any utterance of his is equal to an oracle.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>We cannot stand a novel now, he says, if there's a shock in it;</p>
+<p>Prefer our heroine angular, her eye must have a cock in it,</p>
+<p>Unless she's dull and middle-aged, no sympathy have <i>we</i> with her,</p>
+<p>Her sole excitement is to ask a plainer friend to tea with her!</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>He thinks, were <i>Pickwick</i> written now, we'd view it with a cooler eye,</p>
+<p>And term the Trial Scene a piece of "riotous tomfoolery;"</p>
+<p>While <i>Jane Eyre's</i> thrilling narrative of <i>Rochester's</i> sad revelries</p>
+<p>Of "shilling shockers" scarcely would to-day above the level rise!</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>An age that's given up its gas to read by Electricity</p>
+<p>Would naturally be repelled by <span class="sc">Thackeray's</span> causticity,</p>
+<p>And scorn the characters of <span class="sc">Scott</span>, because they had Glengarries on,</p>
+<p>An inference which is obvious&mdash;to Mr. <span class="sc">Frederic Harrison</span>!</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>How scathingly does he denounce our Literature degenerate,</p>
+<p>With not a real Romancer left&mdash;or only two at any rate!</p>
+<p>By "desperate expedients," each the old tradition carries on&mdash;</p>
+<p>"But it's no good"&mdash;as they're informed by Mr. <span class="sc">Frederic Harrison</span>.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>For Mr. <span class="sc">Stevenson</span> can write no stories worth hurraying at,</p>
+<p>While he upon Pacific Isle persists in <i>Crusoe</i> playing at!</p>
+<p>And Mr. <span class="sc">Kipling</span>'s ceased to count&mdash;no heart in what he does is there&mdash;</p>
+<p>He longs for death in far Soudan, a-fighting Fuzzy-Wuzzies there!</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>So we've only Mr. <span class="sc">Meredith</span>&mdash;(oh, what a sad disgrace it is!)</p>
+<p>Though Mr. <span class="sc">Blackmore</span> writes romance&mdash;how poor and commonplace it is!</p>
+<p>While Messrs. <span class="sc">Thomas Hardy</span>, <span class="sc">Black</span>, and <span class="sc">Besant</span>, it would seem, are all</p>
+<p>Unworthy serious notice, mere nonentities ephemeral!</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>Some people like Miss <span class="sc">Braddon</span>, Mrs. <span class="sc">Oliphant</span>, Miss <span class="sc">Broughton</span>, too.</p>
+<p>They're only lady-novelists&mdash;so serious readers <i>oughtn't</i> to,</p>
+<p>And those who've been convinced by his invidious comparisons,</p>
+<p>In future will eschew romance&mdash;excepting Mr. <span class="sc">Harrison's</span>.</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="sc">The Darwinian Theory Exemplified.</span>&mdash;At the Zoo is now
+being exhibited "Three White-tailed Gnus,"&mdash;"The Latest Gnus."
+with the best possible intelligence,&mdash;"and a Black-capped Gibbon."
+This last is evidently a descendant of the great historian; though, if
+this exemplifies "the survival of the fittest," where are the others
+of the race? Then "Black-capped" sounds ominous, as if this
+particular Gibbon stood self-condemned, and was soon to disappear.
+Should this be the case, the Zoo Authorities ought to advertise the
+fact, and give visitors a chance before it is too late.
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="page220" id="page220"></a>[pg 220]</span>
+</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3>ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.</h3>
+
+<p class="center"><span class="sc">Extracted From the Diary of Toby, M.P.</span></p>
+
+<p><i>House of Commons, Monday Night May 1.</i>&mdash;Demonstrated in
+Debate on Second Reading Home-Rule Bill that House may talk and
+talk through twelve long nights, and not affect single vote&mdash;not even
+<span class="sc">Saunders's</span>. To-night shown how a single speech may cause to
+collapse what was expected and intended to be big Debate. It was
+Mr. G. performed the miracle. Looked in at House on his way
+from Downing Street, where he had received deputation on Eight
+Hours Question, and delivered important speech. That might have
+served as day's work for ordinary man, Mr. G., not to put too fine
+a point upon it, is not ordinary man. Being here, sat listening to
+<span class="sc">Dilke</span> with close attention. <span class="sc">Dilke</span> thinks time has come to
+evacuate
+Egypt. Stated his case in luminous speech; sustained his reputation
+of knowing more about Egyptian Question than most men
+except perhaps <span class="sc">Tommy Bowles</span>.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. G. made no outward and visible sign of intention to follow;
+took no notes, and sometimes, as he sat with drooping arms and
+closed eyes, seemed to sleep. <span class="sc">Dilke</span> done and down, he sat bolt
+upright, looked round with almost startled air, "Well, really," he
+seemed to be saying to himself, "since I am here, and no one else
+is disposed to follow, I might as well say a few words."</p>
+
+<p>Spoke for half an hour, without
+reference to a note, and without faltering
+for a word. Preserved throughout
+that studious assumption of having
+accidentally looked in which marked
+his appearance at table. Evidently
+desired to minimise as much as possible
+importance of occasion. Subject
+broached, he was, possibly, expected
+to say something; certainly not going
+to make a speech, much less deliver
+oration. Carried out this subtle fancy
+to such extent that, pitching voice on
+low conversational tone, sometimes
+difficult to catch full length of sentences.
+This added to impressiveness
+of scene. Crowded House sitting
+breathless; Members opposite leaning
+forward lest they might miss a phrase.
+Everyone conscious that at the door
+also listening were jealous France, the
+wily Turk, the interested Egyptian,
+the not entirely disinterested <span class="sc">Czar</span>,
+and the other Great Powers concerned
+for peace of Europe.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. G., for all his affectation of unpremeditation,
+evidently had in mind
+these listeners at the door. To their
+shadowy presence was, for him, added
+consciousness of keen eyes watching
+him from all quarters of the House;
+some of his friends waiting for sign of
+readiness to quit Egypt; the Opposition
+ready to catch at any token of tendency to scuttle. Occasional
+passages he delivered at rapid rate; but you could see him weighing
+every word with due consideration of these manifold and conflicting
+interests and influences.</p>
+
+<p>When he sat down, there was consciousness that the massive
+figure of important Debate that had loomed over House whilst
+<span class="sc">Dilke</span> was speaking had melted away. <span class="sc">Jokim</span> and <span class="sc">Gorst</span>
+had intended
+to speak from Front Bench; great authorities on Foreign
+Policy in other parts of House had proposed to say something, more
+or less soothing. Mr. G. had left nothing for anyone to say, unless
+it were <span class="sc">Alpheus Cleophas</span>, and the <span class="sc">Talented Tommy</span>, who,
+sitting immediately opposite the <span class="sc">Premier</span>, had, whilst he spoke,
+taken voluminous notes, only occasionally withdrawing eyes from
+manuscript to fix them with look of calm distrust upon the aged and
+unconscious statesman.</p>
+
+<p>"I always like, when I look in," said <span class="sc">Marjoribanks</span>, smiling
+beneficently from the Bar, "to find <span class="sc">Tommy</span> in his place, taking notes.
+Gives one a sense of security. I feel, when I'm in the Lobby,
+looking after things, it's all right in the House. <span class="sc">Browning</span> said
+something of that sort. Don't remember exactly how it ran;
+something in this way:</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width:300px;"><a href="images/220.png"><img src="images/220-300.png" width="300" height="312" alt="A PATRON OF OLD CHINA." /></a>
+<h3 style="margin-top: 0;">A PATRON OF OLD CHINA.</h3>
+
+<p class="center" style="margin-top: -1em;">(<i>Vide "China Bowles Collection."</i>)</p></div>
+
+<div class="poem" style="margin-top: -0.5em;">  <div class="stanza">
+<p><span class="sc">Tommy Bowles</span> is in his place;</p>
+<p>It's all right with the Empire."</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<p><i>Business done.</i>&mdash;Mr. G. excelled himself.</p>
+
+<p><i>Tuesday.</i>&mdash;Seven-leagued Boots not needed by <span class="sc">Talented Tommy</span>.
+He moves about universe with ease and grace, unmindful of mountains,
+regardless of ravines, reckless of rivers, oblivious of oceans.
+Last night, Forty Centuries looked down upon him whilst he showed
+how, in Egypt, Mr. G. is wrong, and <span class="sc">Dilke</span>, who criticised Ministerial
+policy, is not right. To-night he stands on the Roof of the World,
+a solitary, colossal figure upright on the lone Pamirs. His attitude
+is of manifold mien. Defiant of Russia, suspicious of <span class="sc">Rosebery</span>,
+patronising towards Afghanistan, he takes young China familiarly
+by the elbow, and bids it be of good cheer, for <span class="sc">Tommy Bowles</span> is its
+friend. Since <span class="sc">Napoleon</span> crossed the Alps, and was caught in the
+act by the brush of the painter, the world has not seen so moving a
+picture as <span class="sc">Tommy</span> throned on the grandly desolate Pamirs.</p>
+
+<p>House almost empty whilst the Talented One discoursed on
+the subject. Mr. G., who misses nothing, happily in his place,
+listening with eager hand at ear whilst <span class="sc">Tommy</span> spoke familiarly
+of Asiatic rivers and mountains, not one with name of less
+than five syllables. <span class="sc">Dicky Temple</span>, who really knows something
+about this mysterious region, looked on in blank amazement at
+<span class="sc">Tommy's</span> erudition. <span class="sc">Edward Grey</span>, who would presently have to
+answer this damaging attack, tried to seem indifferent. But his
+young cheek paled when <span class="sc">Tommy</span> put his ruthless finger on that
+Foreign Office dispatch, out of which a line of print had been
+dropped. This a Machiavellian device that had hitherto escaped
+detection. <span class="sc">Tommy's</span> falcon eye had noted it, his relentless foot had
+followed up the tracks, and he had discovered, on reference to the
+original, that the criminally-deleted line of print embodied a reference
+to the Oxus. That was all. "Only the Oxus!" he said, with
+withering sarcasm. Then changing
+his tone and manner, he shook a minatory
+forefinger at the shrinking form of
+the <span class="sc">Premier</span>, and cried aloud, in voice
+strengthened with long warring with
+the winds on the Pamirs: "Sir, the
+stream of the Oxus has been entirely
+omitted from this paragraph."</p>
+
+<p>"Poor Mr. G.!" said <span class="sc">W. J. Lowther</span>,
+present in his capacity as Ex-Under-Secretary
+for Foreign Affairs.
+"What with <span class="sc">Labby</span> one night and
+<span class="sc">Tommy Bowles</span> the next, he has a sad
+time of it."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," said <span class="sc">Plunket</span>, sole companion
+on the Front Bench. "It's a
+hard fate for a Prime Minister to stand
+between L. and <span class="sc">Tommy</span>."</p>
+
+<p><i>Business done.</i>&mdash;Miscellaneous talk
+on going into Committee of Supply.</p>
+
+<p><i>Thursday.</i>&mdash;Little difficulty arisen
+in connection with Budget. <span class="sc">Squire</span>
+faced by deficit of million and half.
+This he met by expedient that will be
+historical, as affording <span class="sc">Jokim</span> opportunity
+for a popular jape. The <span class="sc">Squire</span>
+has dropped his penny in the slot, in
+accordance with directions, pulls out
+the drawer, and finds there is something
+more than the sum necessary to
+balance the year's account. That is
+all very well; but there are some
+amateur <span class="sc">Chancellors</span> of the <span class="sc">Exchequer</span>
+who would do great things with the odd &pound;20,000 or &pound;30,000
+which remains as surplus. <span class="sc">Clark</span> wants Graduated Income-tax;
+<span class="sc">Bartley</span> proposes Abatement on Incomes below &pound;200; whilst
+<span class="sc">Grant Lawson</span> would let farmers off with half the proposed increase.
+Best of all is, <span class="sc">Alpheus Cleophas</span>, who would straightway abolish
+the tax on tea. The keen insight of <span class="sc">Alpheus</span> notes the little
+difficulty about the deficit.</p>
+
+<p>"The <span class="sc">Chancellor</span> of the <span class="sc">Exchequer</span>," he observed, in his most
+judicial manner, "may ask me to suggest another source of
+revenue." The <span class="sc">Squire</span> pricked up his ears; the Committee sat
+attentive. If <span class="sc">Alpheus Cleophas</span> had given his great mind to
+consideration
+of the subject, it might be regarded as settled. All
+waited for his next utterances. "That," he continued, in steely tones,
+"is the <span class="sc">Chancellor</span> of the <span class="sc">Exchequer's</span> business. Mine is to
+carry
+out the Newcastle Programme." <span class="sc">Alpheus Cleophas</span> thereupon
+resumed his seat, leaving the <span class="sc">Squire</span> gloomily facing the dead wall
+of his deficit.</p>
+
+<p><i>Business done.</i>&mdash;Budget Bill passed report stage.</p>
+
+<p><i>Friday Night.</i>&mdash;Some young bloods below Gangway, on Ministerial
+side, in distinctly low spirits. On Tuesday night, stage of
+Budget Bill being taken, with ten minutes to spare, <span class="sc">Asquith</span>
+nimbly moved reference of Employers' Liability Bill to Grand Committee.
+Opposition, who want it referred to Select Committee, were
+under impression Mr. G. had promised discussion should not be
+taken till Thursday or Friday. Last night <span class="sc">Chamberlain</span> protested
+that they had been betrayed, and deceived. Young bloods below
+Gangway disposed to chuckle over this spectacle. Mr. G., on contrary,
+takes it seriously to heart. Having got Bill referred to Grand
+Committee, positively agrees to rescind Order, and begin all over
+again.</p>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="page221" id="page221"></a>[pg 221]</span>
+
+<p>"It's very seldom," says the <span class="sc">Sage of
+Queen Anne's Gate</span>, in most melancholy
+mood, "that our side show themselves capable
+of doing a smart thing. When, by chance,
+it is accomplished, Mr. G. comes along, and
+coolly undoes it."</p>
+
+<p>To-day, nearly two hours spent in discussing
+question; Bill, eventually, remitted
+to Grand Committee, as it had been left at
+midnight on Tuesday.</p>
+
+<p>"Shan't play!" cries <span class="sc">Chamberlain</span>.
+"All very well for you, with your majority,
+to bowl us over, but you won't gain any
+time by it. You may take a horse to the
+Grand Committee, but you can't make him
+discuss your Bill."</p>
+
+<p><i>Business done.</i>&mdash;Budget Bill through.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h4>Q. E. D.</h4>
+
+<p class="center">(<i>By a Grumpy Old Bachelor.</i>)</p>
+
+<div class="poem">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>"'Tis a mad world, my masters!" Grim <span class="sc">Lombroso</span></p>
+<p class="i2">Corroborates mild <span class="sc">Shakspeare</span> in this matter.</p>
+<p>And, though <i>his</i> demonstration seems but so-and-so,</p>
+<p class="i2">No doubt the world's as mad as any hatter,</p>
+<p>The sweeter sex especially! 'Tis sad,</p>
+<p class="i2">But that rule's absolute, depend upon it!</p>
+<p>'Tis obvious all women <i>must</i> be mad,</p>
+<p class="i2">Because&mdash;there is a "b" in <i>every</i> bonnet!</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h4>WILDER IDEAS;</h4>
+
+<p class="center"><i>Or, Conversation as she is spoken at the Haymarket.</i></p>
+
+<blockquote><p><i>The Disciple.</i> Ah, that supper after the
+Theatre! It was the unspeakable following
+the unplayable. I feel so seedy!</p>
+
+<p><i>The Master.</i> Nay, but have I not told you
+that the two letters to follow "X. S." are
+"S. and B.?" And you have yourself said
+that "Soda and Brandy is the last refuge of
+the&mdash;digestion."</p>
+
+<p><i>The Disciple.</i> Hang it! I can survive
+everything&mdash;except the cast-off clothes of my
+own epigrams,&mdash;or, by the bye, death.</p>
+
+<p style="float: right;">[<i>Exit from this life, to prove it.</i></p></blockquote>
+<br /><br clear="all" />
+<hr />
+
+<h3>Mem. on the Behring-Sea Business.</h3>
+
+<div class="poem">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>A Forty-hours' speech by magniloquent <span class="sc">Carter!</span></p>
+<p>That Behring Tribunal has caught a Tartar!</p>
+<p>Whatever the upshot one cannot but feel</p>
+<p>'Tis a fine illustration of "Say and Seal!"</p>
+<p>Though <i>Bunsby</i> might say of this lengthy oration,</p>
+<p>"The <i>Behring</i> will lie in the application."</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<blockquote><p><span class="sc">Appropriate Song</span> (<i>for anybody connected
+with the Tourist-Managing firm of Gaze, on
+hearing a Lady say that she was "going to
+try a Cook."</i>)</p></blockquote>
+
+<div class="poem">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>"Ah me! she has gone from our Gaze,</p>
+<p class="i2">That beautiful girl from our door!"</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<p class="center">(<i>The remainder can be added ad libitum,
+and sung whenever opportunity permits.</i>)</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<blockquote><p><span class="sc">"A Move on the Board" in the Right
+Direction.</span>&mdash;Our Surprising School-Board
+has voted in favour of allowing its Industrial
+School youths to enjoy "reasonable
+recreation" on Sundays. Its version of Sir
+<span class="sc">William Jones's</span> distich would be something
+as follows:&mdash;</p></blockquote>
+
+<div class="poem">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>The morn at Church, the afternoon at play,</p>
+<p>Will serve to while the Day of Rest away.</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<blockquote><p>Apparently it looks favourably on a modicum
+of Sunday Cricket or Football, and does
+not taboo even the enormity of Lawn-tennis.
+As against that eminently strict Sabbatarian,
+Mrs. <span class="sc">Grundy</span>, the tennis-player may
+defend himself by a reference to the "services"
+in which he is engaged.</p></blockquote>
+
+<hr />
+<div class="figcenter" style="width:400px;"><a href="images/221.png"><img src="images/221-400.png" width="400" height="448" alt="OBVIOUS." /></a>
+<h3>OBVIOUS.</h3>
+
+<p><span class="sc">"Want Anything on it, Sir?"</span></p>
+
+<p><span>"Yes&mdash;confound you! More Hair!"</span></p></div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3>A SWINBURNE!</h3>
+
+<p class="center">(<i>See "Nineteenth Century."</i>)</p>
+
+<div class="poem">  <div class="stanza">
+<p class="i12">I.</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<div class="poem">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>Three times one are always three;</p>
+<p>Waves are stormy on the sea;</p>
+<p>Bonnets oft contain a bee;</p>
+<p class="i4">Bear delights in bun.</p>
+<p>The <span class="sc">Algernon</span>, that ever</p>
+<p>Is linked to <span class="sc">Charles</span>, shall never</p>
+<p>From poet <span class="sc">Swinburne</span> sever,</p>
+<p class="i4">The three appear as one.</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<div class="poem">  <div class="stanza">
+<p class="i12">II.</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<div class="poem">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>Once he lashed and slashed the Priest,</p>
+<p>Chopped him up to make a feast,</p>
+<p>Called him brute and called him beast,</p>
+<p class="i4">Black as crows are black.</p>
+<p>But now he rhymes "together"</p>
+<p>(See <span class="sc">Calverly</span>) with "weather":</p>
+<p>He might have thrown in "heather,"</p>
+<p class="i4">A rhyme that men call "hack."</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<div class="poem">  <div class="stanza">
+<p class="i12">III.</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<div class="poem">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>Clash the cymbal, beat the gong;</p>
+<p>Sense is weak, but sound is strong;</p>
+<p>Such is <span class="sc">Swinburne's</span> latest song,</p>
+<p class="i4">Made by him alone.</p>
+<p>See <span class="sc">Watts</span> and <span class="sc">Knowles</span> around us,&mdash;</p>
+<p><span class="sc">James Knowles</span> with cheques hath bound us</p>
+<p>To write; the Muse hath found us</p>
+<p class="i4">With Putney Hill as throne.</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<div class="poem">  <div class="stanza">
+<p class="i12">IV.</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<div class="poem">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>When the wind's Nor-West by West,</p>
+<p>Man and beast are rarely blessed.</p>
+<p>Sometimes I like mutton best,</p>
+<p class="i4">Often I like veal.</p>
+<p>A poet (<i>not</i> a puny 'un)</p>
+<p>Who raves about the Union,</p>
+<p>And hymns the States Communion,</p>
+<p class="i4">Takes none the less his meal.</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h4>In the City. Thursday Last.</h4>
+
+<blockquote><p><i>First Member of Stock Exchange</i> (<i>Unionist</i>).
+I say, <span class="sc">Jones</span>, you weren't in it! Why didn't
+you join us marching in procession, with
+<span class="sc">Clarke</span> carrying the Union Jack, eh?</p>
+
+<p><i>Second Member of the House.</i> Why didn't
+I join you? Because I didn't want to make
+a Union-Jack-ass of myself!</p>
+
+<p style="float: right">[<i>Exit, before the retort is possible.</i></p></blockquote>
+<br /><br clear="all" />
+<hr />
+
+<h4>A Pair of Spectacles.</h4>
+
+<p class="center">(<i>After hearing a much interrupted Speech in
+the Commons.</i>)</p>
+
+<div class="poem">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>When a batsman has to go</p>
+<p>To the tent with a "round O,"</p>
+<p class="i2">He knows <i>he's</i> not made a hit.</p>
+<p>When a Statesman's hitting well,</p>
+<p>The round "Oh's" around him swell</p>
+<p class="i2">(Dullards' substitutes for wit).</p>
+<p>In debate or cricket score,</p>
+<p>The "round O" means <i>nought</i>&mdash;no more!</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="page222" id="page222"></a>[pg 222]</span>
+
+<hr />
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width:600px;"><a href="images/222.png"><img src="images/222-600.png" width="600" height="381" alt="THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE EXPRESSED DIFFERENTLY." /></a>
+<h3>THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE EXPRESSED DIFFERENTLY.</h3>
+
+<p><i>Fair Hostess.</i> "<span class="sc">Good-night, Major Jones. We're supposed to Breakfast
+at Nine; but we're not very Punctual People.
+Indeed, the later you appear To-morrow Morning, the better pleased we shall all
+be</span>!"</p></div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h2>May 10, 1893.</h2>
+
+<p class="center"><span class="sc">Mr. Punch's Vision at the Opening of the
+Imperial Institute</span>.</p>
+
+<div class="poem">  <div class="stanza">
+<p><i>This Spring's soft beauty is a joy for ever;</i></p>
+<p><i>Its loveliness increases; it will never</i></p>
+<p><i>Pass to forgetfulness; we still must keep</i></p>
+<p><i>Fond memories of this Maytime, calm as sleep</i></p>
+<p><i>Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing.</i></p>
+<p><i>Therefore, on this May morning are we wreathing</i></p>
+<p><i>A flowery band, to bind us round the earth,</i></p>
+<p><i>Spite of despondence, of the inhuman dearth</i></p>
+<p><i>Of patriot natures, Mammen-ridden days,</i></p>
+<p><i>And Toil's unhealthy and o'erdarkened ways</i></p>
+<p><i>Made for our mending: yes, in spite of all</i></p>
+<p><i>This Mayday Vision moves away the pall</i></p>
+<p><i>From our dark spirits!</i></p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i20"><span class="sc">Keats</span> <i>adapted to the occasion.</i></p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<div class="poem">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>Thy pardon, <i>Adonais</i>, pray,</p>
+<p class="i2">That on this memorable morning</p>
+<p>We twist those lovely lines astray,</p>
+<p class="i2">As modish maid, her charms adorning</p>
+<p>A trail may twine of eglantine</p>
+<p class="i2">Into the formal "set" of Fashion.</p>
+<p>Yet wouldst thou gladly lend thy line</p>
+<p class="i2">To present need; for patriot passion,</p>
+<p>Love of the little sea-girt land,</p>
+<p class="i2">Has ever fired our English singers.</p>
+<p>Of England's fame, from strand to strand,</p>
+<p class="i2">Their songs have been the widest wingers.</p>
+<p>So, <i>Adonais</i>, this great day</p>
+<p>Were "Welcome as the flowers in May!"</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>The "flowery band" of <span class="sc">Keats's</span> song</p>
+<p class="i2">Our Empire's sons to-day are wreathing;</p>
+<p>Long may it bind, and blossom long.</p>
+<p class="i2">The May-flower's fragrance round us breathing</p>
+<p>Is nothing sweeter than the thought</p>
+<p class="i2">To patriot hearts of loyal union.</p>
+<p>Together we have toiled and fought,</p>
+<p class="i2">But gay to-day is our communion.</p>
+<p><span class="sc">Britannia's</span> helm is crowned with flowers,</p>
+<p class="i2"><span class="sc">Britannia's</span> trident's wreathed with posies,</p>
+<p>And Fancy sees in Flora's showers</p>
+<p class="i2">Thistles and Shamrocks blent with Roses.</p>
+<p>The Indian Lotus let us twine</p>
+<p class="i2">With gorgeous bloom from Afric's jungles</p>
+<p>Canadian Birch with Austral Pine.</p>
+<p class="i2">Tape-bound Officialdom oft bungles;</p>
+<p>Some blow too hot, some breathe too cold,</p>
+<p class="i2">O'er-chill are some, and some o'er-gushing;</p>
+<p>But the same blood-stream, warm and bold,</p>
+<p class="i2">Through all our veins is ever rushing;</p>
+<p>And so to all true hearts to-day</p>
+<p>Comes "Welcome as the flowers in May!"</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>A <span class="sc">Queen</span> is with us, to evince</p>
+<p class="i2">Imperial sympathy unfailing;</p>
+<p>And pleasant to our genial <span class="sc">Prince</span></p>
+<p class="i2">This proof that all seems now plainsailing;</p>
+<p>With his great purpose. Some sneered, "Whim!"</p>
+<p class="i2">But general shouts now drown their sneering.</p>
+<p>A special salvo's due to <i>him</i></p>
+<p class="i2">Amidst to-day's exuberant cheering.</p>
+<p>Hail the Imperial Institute!</p>
+<p class="i2">And hail the patient Prince promoter!</p>
+<p>The man who's neither cynic brute,</p>
+<p class="i2">Nor phrase-led sycophantic doter,</p>
+<p>May echo that. Our patriot tap</p>
+<p class="i2">Is old, well-kept and genuine stingo;</p>
+<p>Not the chill quidnunc's cold cat-lap,</p>
+<p class="i2">Nor crude fire-water of the Jingo,</p>
+<p>But sound as good old English ale,</p>
+<p class="i2">Full-bodied, fragrant, mild, and mellow.</p>
+<p>To try that tap <i>Punch</i> will not fail,</p>
+<p class="i2">Nor any other right good fellow.</p>
+<p>A bumper of that draught to-day</p>
+<p>Is "Welcome as the flowers in May!"</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>Weave on! And may that "flowery band"</p>
+<p class="i2">Be surer bond than forged steel fetters.</p>
+<p>Ho! Hands all round! Whilst hand-in-hand</p>
+<p class="i2">We need not fear the fierce sword-whetters</p>
+<p>Who'd make the pleasant earth a camp,</p>
+<p class="i2">And stain blood-red the white May-flowers.</p>
+<p>May echoes of no mail&egrave;d tramp</p>
+<p class="i2">Disturb ye in your Spring-deck'd bowers,</p>
+<p>Glad garland-weavers! Heaven bestow</p>
+<p class="i2">"Sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing,"</p>
+<p>One thing above all others know,</p>
+<p class="i2">Ye who the earth-round band are wreathing,</p>
+<p>To-day, to-morrow, <i>any</i> day,</p>
+<p>You're "Welcome as the flowers in May!"</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<blockquote><p><span class="sc">"Playing the Duse."&mdash;Mr. Horace
+Sedger</span> announces the engagement at the
+Lyric of Mlle. <span class="sc">Duse</span>. The Manager must
+be prosperous; at all events, <i>he</i> is not going
+to the Duse, but the Duse is coming to him.
+And as to the Theatre&mdash;well, if it isn't a
+success, the Duse is in it!</p></blockquote>
+
+<hr />
+
+<blockquote><p>"<span class="sc">She answered 'Yuss'!</span>"&mdash;The most
+recent and most important change of name is
+from "I MAY" to "I WILL."</p></blockquote>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="page223" id="page223"></a>[pg 223]</span>
+
+<hr />
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width:500px;"><a href="images/223.png"><img src="images/223-380.png" width="380" height="487" alt="MAY 10, 1893." /></a>
+
+<h3>MAY 10, 1893.</h3>
+
+<p>"THEREFORE ON THIS BRIGHT MAY DAY ARE WE WREATHING
+A FLOWERY BAND TO BIND US ROUND THE EARTH."&mdash;<span class="sc">Keats</span>, <i>slightly
+altered.</i></p></div>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="page224" id="page224"></a>[pg 224]</span>
+<br /><br />
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="page225" id="page225"></a>[pg 225]</span>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3>THANK YOU!</h3>
+
+<p class="center">(<i>For a Photograph, inscribed "With Ethel Travers's kind regards."</i>)</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width:300px;"><a href="images/225.png"><img src="images/225-250.png" width="250" height="332" alt="With Ethel Travers's kind regards." /></a></div>
+
+<div class="poem">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>It was only a week in the brightest of summers,</p>
+<p class="i2">We played tennis and golf, and, when ended the day,</p>
+<p>We made furious love as two amateur mummers,</p>
+<p class="i2">Whilst Act IV. saw us One in the orthodox way.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>So my holiday ended. I begged a reminder,</p>
+<p class="i2">I asked you to send me a portrait that should</p>
+<p>Be a sweet recollection, and you, who were kinder</p>
+<p class="i2">Than I ever deserved or dared hope, said you would.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>Then we parted. Life seemed to be painfully lonely,</p>
+<p class="i2">Though I dreamt of a future with you by my side,</p>
+<p>Till my common-sense seemed to say, "<i>You</i>, who are only,</p>
+<p class="i2">Just a poor needy teacher, have <i>Her</i> for a bride!"</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>It was true, and I knew it. Yet why had I met you?</p>
+<p class="i2">Why had Fate kept such bitter-sweet fortune in store?</p>
+<p>So determined I set myself then to forget you,</p>
+<p class="i2">And to let my thoughts dwell on yourself nevermore.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>First your hair with its gold, next your eyes with their laughter,</p>
+<p class="i2">I forgot in a thoroughly workman-like style.</p>
+<p>Persevering, I never desisted till after</p>
+<p class="i2">Many months I but faintly remembered your smile.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>I completely forgot you (I thought) and the warning</p>
+<p class="i2">Was to save me, I chortled, a future of pain,</p>
+<p>But you undid it all with your picture this morning,</p>
+<p class="i2">And the same old, old trouble starts over again.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>The Fates are a trifle hard, putting it mildly,</p>
+<p class="i2">For they well might have spared me this finishing touch</p>
+<p>Of your portrait, which speaking quite calmly yet Wildely,</p>
+<p class="i2">I admire all the more since I hate it so much.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>I shall treasure it, though. Thanks&mdash;a thousand&mdash;to you, dear.</p>
+<p class="i2">When in sweet meditation your fancy runs free,</p>
+<p>Is it asking too much that a stray thought or two, dear,</p>
+<p class="i2">From your kindness of heart may come straying to me?</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3>POLITICS AND POLITENESS.</h3>
+
+<p><span class="sc">Dear Mr. Punch</span>,&mdash;I see that the Duke of <span class="sc">Argyll</span>, when he
+received the freedom of the Burgh of Paisley, the other day, told the
+following interesting story:&mdash;</p>
+
+<blockquote><p>
+"I was going once to call on a lady in London, and when the door was
+opened and the servant announced my name, I saw the lady advancing to the
+door with a look of absolute consternation on her face. I could not conceive
+what had happened, and thought I had entered her room at some inconvenient
+moment, but, on looking over her shoulder, I perceived Mr. and
+Mrs. <span class="sc">Gladstone</span> sitting at the tea-table, and she evidently thought that
+there would be some great explosion when we met. She was greatly
+gratified when nothing of the kind occurred, and we enjoyed a cup of tea as
+greatly as we had ever done in our lives."
+</p></blockquote>
+
+<p>Now, my dear <i>Mr. Punch</i>, I have great sympathy with "the
+Lady," and think (with her) the meeting, as described by his Grace
+of <span class="sc">Argyll</span>, was mild in the extreme. If something out of the
+common had taken place, it would have been far more satisfactory.
+To make my meaning plainer, I give roughly (in dramatic form)
+what should have happened to have made the action worthy of the
+occasion.</p>
+
+<p><span class="sc">Scene</span>&mdash;<i>A Drawing-room. Lady entertaining</i> Mr. <i>and</i> Mrs. G.
+<i>at tea. A loud knock heard without.</i></p>
+
+<p><i>Mrs. G.</i> (<i>greatly agitated</i>). Oh dear, I am sure it is he!</p>
+
+<p><i>Mr. G.</i> (<i>with calm dignity</i>). Do not fear&mdash;if he appears, I shall
+know how to deal with him.</p>
+
+<p><i>Lady</i> (<i>pale but calm</i>). Nay, my good, kind friends, believe me, you
+shall not suffer from the indiscretion of the servant.</p>
+
+<p><i>Mrs. G.</i> (<i>pushing her husband into a cupboard</i>). Nay,
+<span class="sc">William</span>,
+for my sake! And now to conceal myself, so that he may not
+suspect his presence by my proximity. [<i>Hides behind the curtains.</i></p>
+
+<p><i>The Duke of Argyll</i> (<i>breaking open the door, and entering
+hurriedly</i>). And now, Madam, where is my hated foe? I have
+tracked him to this house. It is useless to attempt to conceal him.</p>
+
+<p><i>The Lady</i> (<i>laughing uneasily</i>). Nay, your Grace, you are too
+facetious! Trace the <span class="sc">Premier</span> here! Next you will be saying that
+he and his good lady were taking tea with me.</p>
+
+<p><i>The Duke</i> (<i>suspiciously</i>). And, no doubt, so they were! This
+empty cup, that half-devoured muffin&mdash;to whom do they belong?</p>
+
+<p><i>The Lady</i> (<i>with forced gaiety</i>). Might I not have entertained Mr.
+and Mrs. <span class="sc">Joseph Chamberlain</span>, my Lord Duke?</p>
+
+<p><i>The Duke</i> (<i>aside</i>). Can I believe her? (<i>Aloud.</i>) But if it is
+as you
+say, I will send away my clansmen who throng the street without.
+(<i>Opens window and calls.</i>) <i>Gang a waddy Caller Herring!</i> They
+will now depart. (<i>A sneeze heard off.</i>) What was that?</p>
+
+<p><i>The Lady</i> (<i>terrified</i>). I fancy it was the wind&mdash;the cold wind&mdash;and
+now, believe me, Mr. <span class="sc">Gladstone</span> will abandon Home Rule.</p>
+
+<p><i>Mr. G.</i> (<i>suddenly appearing</i>). Never! I tell you to your face
+that you are a traitor! &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;[<i>Sneezes, and hurriedly closes the window.</i></p>
+
+<p><i>The Duke</i> (<i>savagely</i>). That sneeze shall be your last!<span style="float: right">[<i>Takes up a knife lying on the table.</i></span></p>
+
+<p style="margin-top: 2.5em;"><i>Mr. G.</i> (<i>repeating the action</i>). I am ready, Sir!</p>
+
+<p><i>Mrs. G.</i> (<i>rushing between them</i>). Oh, <span class="sc">William</span>! Do not
+fight!</p>
+
+<p><i>The Lady</i> (<i>falling on her knees</i>). I prithee stay!</p>
+
+<p><i>Mr. G.</i> Never! May the better man win!</p>
+
+<p><i>The Duke.</i> So be it!<span style="float: right">[<i>The Scene closes in upon a desperate duel. Curtain.</i></span></p>
+
+
+<p style="margin-top: 3em;"><i>There, Mr. Punch!</i> What do you think of that? Still, perhaps,
+under the circumstances of the case, it is better as it is.</p>
+
+<div class="poem">  <div class="stanza">
+<p class="i8">Yours most truly,</p>
+</div> <div class="stanza">
+<p class="i16"><span class="sc">One who never Paid Twopence for Manners</span>.</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3>THE LITIGANT'S VADE MECUM.</h3>
+
+<p><i>Question.</i> Can you tell me the best possible regulations in the
+universe?</p>
+
+<p><i>Answer.</i> Certainly English Common Law.</p>
+
+<p><i>Q.</i> Is English Common Law accessible to everyone?</p>
+
+<p><i>A.</i> Certainly, and if a litigant please, he or she (for sex makes no
+difference) can become his or her own advocate.</p>
+
+<p><i>Q.</i> When a litigant prefers to conduct a case in person, does the
+proceeding invariably save expense?</p>
+
+<p><i>A.</i> Not invariably, because a litigant may have odd views about
+the importance of evidence and the time of professional advisers.</p>
+
+<p><i>Q.</i> When a litigant is afflicted with this lack of knowledge what
+is the customary result?</p>
+
+<p><i>A.</i> That the defendants have to undergo the expense of a several-days'
+trial with counsel to match.</p>
+
+<p><i>Q.</i> Supposing that a journalist, sharply but justly, criticises the
+actions of a man of straw&mdash;what can the man of straw do?</p>
+
+<p><i>A.</i> With the aid of some speculative Solicitor, he can commence an
+action for libel.</p>
+
+<p><i>Q.</i> What benefit does the speculative Solicitor obtain?</p>
+
+<p><i>A.</i> The speculative Solicitor, if he can persuade a judge and jury
+to agree, will get his costs, and if the journalist wins he will find that
+the prosecutor or plaintiff is, indeed, a man of straw.</p>
+
+<p><i>Q.</i> Is there any redress?</p>
+
+<p><i>A.</i> None; but a wise journalist will never criticise sharply.</p>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="page226" id="page226"></a>[pg 226]</span>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3>THE PICK OF THE R.A. PICTURES. No. 2.</h3>
+
+<p>No. 139. <i>&Ccedil;a donne &agrave; penser.</i> Not a more suggestive pose does
+any portrait possess throughout the Galleries. It is described <i>tout
+court</i> as "<span class="sc">Albert Brassey</span>, Esq.," and 'tis the work (and the
+pleasure) of <span class="sc">W. W. Ouless</span>, R.A. "'Tis a fine work!" says <span class="sc">Bob</span>
+to <span class="sc">'Arry</span>. "O' course," returns <span class="sc">'Arry Joker</span>. "Great! <i>'Ow
+less</i> could be expected of 'im tho', I dun no." It represents an undecided
+moment in Mr. <span class="sc">Albert Brassey's</span> life. It is as if he were Mr. "<i>All
+but</i>" <span class="sc">Brassey</span>, and wasn't quite certain of what he should do next.
+There is the writing-desk,&mdash;shall he indite a letter? If he does so,
+shall he take off his thick-fur coat? Or shall he go hunting, since
+he has on, underneath the furrin' fur, the pink of hunting perfection?
+Likewise he has his whip and his horn, also his boots! He's
+"got 'em on!" He's "got 'em <i>all</i> on!" Or shall he hail the
+5,000-ton yacht that's lying in the roads just a few yards from his
+open window, and go out for a cruise? He looks happy, but
+puzzled.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter"><a href="images/226a.png"><img src="images/226a-600.png" width="600" height="293" alt="No. 543. _The_ Picture of the Year. Lamp-light reading...." /></a>
+<p class="center">No. 543. <i>The</i> Picture of the Year. Lamp-light reading; or,
+Mr. Punch among the Pretty Pets. "<i>Dulce est dissipere in joco</i>." H. H. La
+Thangue.</p></div>
+
+<p>No. 167. <i>The Right Hon. H. H. Fowler, M.P.</i> "Presentation
+Portrait," painted by <span class="sc">Arthur S. Cope</span>. "When the Right Hon.
+Gentleman rose to speak, the House, with the exception of a clerk at
+the table and two small boys (whose presence within the precincts
+has never been satisfactorily accounted for) was empty."&mdash;<i>Extract
+from The Imaginary Times Parliamentary Report of that date.</i></p>
+
+<p>No. 350. <i>Mrs. Keeley at the age of Eighty-six.</i> Looking so well
+and sprightly, that the Artist must have been at considerable pains
+to induce her to sit still just one moment for
+her portrait. Long may she remain with us!
+Our compliments to the Artist, <span class="sc">Julia B.
+Folkard.</span></p>
+
+<p>No. 434. Mr. <span class="sc">Somerscales</span> has given us the
+best sea-piece of the year. It shows a "<i>Corvette
+shortening sail to pick up a shipwrecked crew</i>."
+"A sale in sight appeared!"&mdash;and as the
+picture, so it is said, was immediately sold, so
+also were those who came too late to make a
+bid.</p>
+
+<p>No. 524. <i>Gentleman writing.</i> "A nice quiet
+corner for a little composition away from all
+those speaking likenesses." <span class="sc">J. W. Forster.</span></p>
+
+<p>No. 533. This is a sad-looking little girl,
+painted by <span class="sc">William Carter</span>. She has an
+unsettled expression. Is she suffering from
+what the Clown calls "teezy-weezies-in-the-pandenoodles,"
+and, as Sir <span class="sc">John Millais's</span>
+"<i>Bubbles</i>" served <span class="sc">P**rs</span> for an advertisement,
+is it beyond the range of probability
+that this, being associated with the name of
+"<span class="sc">Carter</span>," should be intended as a pictorial
+advertisement for the well-known "L-ttle
+L-v-r P-lls"?</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width:300px;"><a href="images/226b.png"><img src="images/226b-250.png" width="250" height="324" alt="An Artist's work 'on the Line.'" /></a>
+<h4>An Artist's work "on the Line."</h4></div>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="page227" id="page227"></a>[pg 227]</span>
+
+<p>No. 535. Portrait (presumably) of <i>C. R.
+Fletcher Lutwidge, Esq.</i> By <span class="sc">St. George
+Hare</span>. Ha! Ha! Ha! By St. George you Ha're bound to laugh
+directly you look at it. You can't help it. "C. R. F. L." is
+chuckling to himself and saying, "Ha! Ha! I've just thought
+of <i>such</i> a funny thing! Ha! Ha! Ha!" And he <i>is</i> enjoying it
+so! As the song says, "O Mister (I forget the name), what a funny
+little man you are!"</p>
+
+<p>No. 553. This, by Mr. <span class="sc">Markham Skipworth</span>, is a portrait of
+<i>Dr. E. Ker Gray, LL.D</i> of St. George's Chapel, Mayfair. "<span class="sc">Ker
+Gray</span>!" it ought to be "Ker Scarlet."</p>
+
+<p>No. 862. <i>Portrait of a Gentleman</i>, by <span class="sc">Phil R. Morris</span>, A. The
+Portrait, annoyed at being next to <span class="sc">Sidney Cooper's</span>, R A., "<i>Be it
+ever so humble, &amp;c.</i>," representing head of a jackass, and some
+sheepish sheep, is evidently saying to itself, "Hang the Hanging
+Committee! They show me as next door to a donkey."</p>
+
+<p>No. 888. <i>The Wedding Gifts.</i> The pretty Bride is a bit
+frightened at seeing the Groom leading up two bare-back'd steeds.
+"Oh!" she cries, "I can't ride <i>them</i>! Why (<i>to her husband</i>) did
+you give me these?" "My dear," says he, "why not? Here
+are the bare-backed steeds, and you've already got the Ring."
+<span class="sc">S. E. Waller</span>.</p>
+
+<p>No. 892. "<i>Your Health!</i>" A Birthday Party at Mr. <span class="sc">Ernest
+Hart's</span>. Painted by <span class="sc">S. J. Solomon</span>. As a subject, the wisdom of
+<span class="sc">Solomon</span> is questionable as a specimen of Hacademie Hart&mdash;ahem!
+However, to the toast of "<i>Your Health</i>!" as addressed to
+Mr. <span class="sc">Ernest Hart</span>, Master <span class="sc">Sol</span> might have
+added the words, "<i>Most Ernestly and
+Hartily</i>."</p>
+
+<p>No. 928. <i>Exhibition of Miss Biffin</i>, "who
+has no legs to speak of." "If you saw my
+ancles," said <i>Miss Mowcher</i>, "I should go
+home and kill myself." But <span class="sc">Arthur Hacker</span>,
+whose capital work it is, calls it "<i>Circe</i>."</p>
+
+<p>No. 937. "<i>It might have been</i>," by F.
+<span class="sc">Stuart Sindici</span>, represents <span class="sc">Napoleon</span> and
+<span class="sc">Wellington</span> out walking together, in 1847,
+near the Horse Guards. "It might have
+been" <i>if</i> .... But it wasn't&mdash;though F.
+<span class="sc">Stuart Sindici</span> went nap on it, and dreamt
+it. Why shouldn't <span class="sc">Julius C&aelig;sar</span> and Lord
+<span class="sc">Brougham</span> have hobnobbed together over
+Pommery '74 at <span class="sc">Frascati's</span> in Regent Street,
+or why shouldn't the Great Duke of <span class="sc">Marlborough</span>
+and Admiral <span class="sc">Hamilcar</span> of Carthage,
+after leaving <i>Hoi Adelphoi</i> at the theatre,
+have taken supper at <span class="sc">Rule's</span> in Maiden Lane?
+Why not? "It might have been"&mdash;of
+course; why, when you come to think of it,
+there's hardly anything that mightn't have
+been, <i>if</i> it had only taken place. Such possible
+subjects would fill the most vast picture gallery
+in the <i>Ch&acirc;teau d'If</i>.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3>PICK OF THE PICTURES.</h3>
+
+<p class="center">(<i>New Gallery, Regent Street. Summary of Sixth Summer Exhibition.</i>)</p>
+
+<table width="600px" summary="R.A. Pictures" align="center" border="0">
+<tr>
+<td class="pics" valign="top">
+<a href="images/227a.png"><img src="images/227a-292.png" width="292" height="210" alt="No. 40. The Bather Bothered. Appropriately painted by Mr.Waterhouse" border="0" /></a>
+No. 40. The Bather Bothered. Appropriately painted by Mr. Waterhouse,
+R.A. "Why," exclaims the horrified nymph, "he's lying on my clothes!"
+</td>
+<td class="picsr" valign="top">
+<a href="images/227b.png"><img src="images/227b-210.png" width="300" height="210" alt="No. 216. Night-Mares. Neptune's Horses, but more suggestive of Night Mares. Walter Crane." border="0" /></a>
+No. 216. Night-Mares. Neptune's Horses, but more suggestive of
+Night Mares. Walter Crane.
+</td>
+</tr>
+</table>
+
+<table width="600px" summary="R.A. Pictures" align="center" border="0">
+<tr>
+<td class="pics" valign="top">
+
+<a href="images/227c.png"><img src="images/227c-160.png" width="160" height="277" alt="No. 22. 'Mr. G.' in Churchwarden" border="0" /></a>
+No. 22. "Mr. G." in Churchwarden
+Church. "Here endeth the Second
+Reading." Sydney P. Hall.
+
+</td>
+<td class="pics" valign="top">
+
+<a href="images/227d.png"><img src="images/227d-272.png" width="272" height="277" alt="No. 195. Hurried Moments! An Elopement!!" border="0" /></a>
+No. 195. Hurried Moments! An Elopement!! "Never mind your
+things!" he shouted, at the same time that, catching her up and
+holding her in his strong right arm, he started off at a fast run.
+"Better to lose your clothes than miss your train!" C. W. Mitchell.
+
+</td>
+<td class="picsr" valign="top">
+
+<a href="images/227e.png"><img src="images/227e-156.png" width="156" height="277" alt="No. 27. Posed and Painful! Standing" border="0" /></a>
+No. 27. Posed and Painful! Standing
+for her photograph, and feels
+that the head-rest is no rest for the
+head. J. J. Shannon.
+</td>
+</tr>
+</table>
+
+<table width="600px" summary="R.A. Pictures" align="center" border="0">
+<tr>
+<td class="pics" valign="top">
+
+<a href="images/227f.png"><img src="images/227f-205.png" width="205" height="210" alt="No. 96. The Haunted Glen; or, The Bird-nesting Trespasser..." border="0" /></a>
+No. 96. The Haunted Glen; or, The Bird-nesting
+Trespasser Conscience-struck. "Oh! I'll pretend
+I don't see them!" Hon. John Collier.
+
+</td>
+<td class="picsr" valign="top">
+
+<a href="images/227g.png"><img src="images/227g-388.png" width="388" height="210" alt="No. 92. 'Fling' Defiance!' Professor Herkomer's Heel-and-toe lads..." border="0" /></a>
+No. 92. "'Fling' Defiance!" Professor Herkomer's Heel-and-toe
+lads, "Jock and Charlie,"
+back themselves against (No. 108) Mr. Alfred Hartley's "Harry and Neil,'" sons
+of Lord Rosebery,
+attired as they are for a reel or a fling, or any form of National Sc(h)ottische
+dance.
+</td>
+</tr>
+</table>
+
+<br /><hr />
+
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="page228" id="page228"></a>[pg 228]</span>
+
+<h3>PICK OF THE PICTURES.</h3>
+
+<p class="center">(<i>New Gallery&mdash;continued.</i>)</p>
+
+<p>No. 11. "<i>Her First Ball</i>;"
+or, "<i>Train 'em up in the way
+she should bowl</i>." Portrait of
+little girl preparing to be a
+Lady-Cricketer. She has the
+ball in her hands, and is only
+waiting to cry out "Play!"
+<span class="sc">G. P. Jacomb-Hood.</span></p>
+
+
+<p>No. 15. <i>Charming Picture
+of Nobody Nowhere</i>, Miss
+<span class="sc">Anna Alma-Tadema</span>.</p>
+
+<p>No. 20. <i>Portrait of W. Matthew
+Hale, Esq.</i> By <span class="sc">John
+Parker</span>. "All Hale!"</p>
+
+<p>No. 37. "<i>Silver Mist.</i>" This
+ought to have been the picture
+of a gentleman in search of a
+threepenny piece; but it isn't.
+<span class="sc">Fred Hall</span>.</p>
+
+<p>No. 66. <i>The Departing Guest.</i>
+<span class="sc">E. Burne-Jones</span>.</p>
+
+<div class="poem">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>The ending of the party see,</p>
+<p>"O let us get a cab for thee!"</p>
+<p>"Nay," quoth the guest, "I've wings! so I,</p>
+<p>Like to the trout, will take a fly."</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<p>No. 112. <i>Alderman J. Stone-Wigg.</i>
+First Mayor of Tunbridge
+Wells.</p>
+
+<div class="poem">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>Indeed you look an Alderman,</p>
+<p>'Tis true I've seen a balder man.</p>
+<p>"<span class="sc">J. Stone-Wigg</span>" is the name I see,</p>
+<p>Which "Lost or Stolen-Wig" should be.</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<p>No. 160. <i>Portrait of Lady
+Simpson. Bravo</i>, Mr. <span class="sc">Val
+Prinsep</span>, A.R.A. Uncommonly
+good. A parody of the old song
+should have been selected by the
+Artist as a motto for the picture:&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>Lady <span class="sc">Simpson</span> has a dog&mdash;</p>
+<p class="i2">I don't know its name&mdash;</p>
+<p>Pretty tail has dog, <i>incog.</i></p>
+<p class="i2">Ribands round the same.</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<p>No. 170. "<i>The Spirit of
+Life.</i>" By <span class="sc">Archie Macgregor</span>.
+"Eh, <span class="sc">Archie</span> mon! aiblins, 'tis
+just the whusky-still the Leddie's
+at, takin' a wee drappit i'
+the 'ee. And why did ye nae
+ca' it, 'Still Life'"?</p>
+
+<p>No. 177. <i>Portrait of Mrs.
+George Lewis.</i> Excellent, Mr.
+Colour-<span class="sc">Sargent</span>! N.B.&mdash;Very
+few "Sergeants" left; but Mr.
+<span class="sc">George Lewis</span> has secured the
+best of them to paint this portrait.</p>
+
+<p>No. 194. Very charming is
+"<i>The Closing of an October
+Day.</i>" By <span class="sc">George H. Broughton</span>,
+A.R.A. He has caught the
+"Early Closing Movement" to
+the life.</p>
+
+<p>No. 242. "<i>In the Grip of
+the Sea-Wolf</i>"; or, "<i>Early
+Bathing at Boulogne</i>." E. M.
+<span class="sc">Hale</span>.</p>
+
+<p>No. 324. And a good Judge too!
+<i>Portrait of Sir Douglas Straight.</i>
+The <span class="sc">Douglas</span>, "bearded in his
+den"! Quarter (Sessions)
+Length. Sad end to a distinguished
+career to be "quartered,
+drawn, and hung"! Congratulate
+Artist, Miss <span class="sc">Vera Christie</span>,
+on good likeness.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width:500px;"><a href="images/228.png"><img src="images/228-360.png" width="360" height="456" alt="EVOLUTION EXTRAORDINARY." /></a>
+<h3>EVOLUTION EXTRAORDINARY.</h3>
+
+<p><i>British Tourist</i> (<i>who has been served with a Pig's foot</i>).
+"<span class="sc">What's this?<br />
+I ordered Quail</span>!"</p>
+
+<p><i>Negro Waiter.</i> "<span class="sc">Wall&mdash;y'ev got Quail</span>!"</p>
+
+<p><i>British Tourist</i>. "<span class="sc">Quail! Why a Quail's a Bird</span>!"</p>
+
+<p><i>Negro Waiter.</i> "<span class="sc">Not Here</span>!"</p></div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p class="center">Anti-Epidemic Treatment.</p>
+
+<p class="center">(<i>Being Summary of Robson Roosetem
+Pasha's Article in New
+Review.</i>)</p>
+
+<div class="poem">  <div class="stanza">
+<p class="i2">Boil Bacillus,</p>
+<p class="i2">Or he'll kill us.</p>
+<p>From Filter filthy grown</p>
+<p class="i2">Don't drink water,</p>
+<p class="i2">Save rates per quarter,</p>
+<p>And so "Leave <i>well</i> alone."</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<blockquote><p><span class="sc">Companion Works.</span>&mdash;Shortly
+to appear: <i>My Wife's Bodice</i>.
+By the Author of <i>His Wife's
+Soul</i>.</p></blockquote>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3>TO MY UMBRELLA.</h3>
+
+<div class="poem">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>Good, faithful friend, it seems an age</p>
+<p class="i2">Since last we met and walked together!</p>
+<p>Upon the <i>Daily Graphic's</i> page</p>
+<p class="i2">For weeks I've watched the coming weather;</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>The meteorologic girl,</p>
+<p class="i2">Despite cold arms, seemed almost jolly,</p>
+<p>And made no effort to unfurl</p>
+<p class="i2">That wonderful archaic brolly.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>So I, grown reckless, did as she.</p>
+<p class="i2">And gave you quite a Long Vacation;</p>
+<p>Such weather cannot always be,</p>
+<p class="i2">Or you would lose your occupation.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>Think how I've treated you! A pet</p>
+<p class="i2">Might envy all the care I gave you;</p>
+<p>When worn-out with work and wet,</p>
+<p class="i2">Think how I did my best to save you!</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>You soon looked well, and eased my fears&mdash;</p>
+<p class="i2">Recovered after over-pressure.</p>
+<p>When you "took silk" in other years,</p>
+<p class="i2">Think what I paid for each "refresher"!</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>When last it rained I had to roll</p>
+<p class="i2">You up quite wet; you've been forgotten.</p>
+<p>It rains once more. What's this? A hole?</p>
+<p class="i2">By Jove, the silk's completely rotten!</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<blockquote><p><span class="sc">The Stage-Coach Fiasco</span>.&mdash;The Meet,
+which was ordered for 11:30 last Thursday,
+wasn't done, and so there was no Lunch.</p></blockquote>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3>ON THE INCOME-TAX.</h3>
+
+<blockquote><p class="center">[By an already over-burdened tax-payer who
+derived neither enlightenment nor comfort from
+the wordy war about a "Graduated Income-Tax"
+between Mr. <span class="sc">Bartley</span> and Sir <span class="sc">William Harcourt</span>.]</p></blockquote>
+
+<div class="poem">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>"Graduation" seems vexation,</p>
+<p>"Differentiation" looks as bad.</p>
+<p class="i8">Their the-o-rie</p>
+<p class="i8">It puzzles me.</p>
+<p>But their <i>practice</i> drives me mad!</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p>"<span class="sc">That's Swear It Is!</span>"&mdash;In bygone
+days, when the Princess's was under the
+management of Mr. and Mrs. <span class="sc">Charles Kean</span>,
+there was a fine imposed on any member of
+the company who should make use of bad
+language in the Green-Room. One evening
+a distinguished actor so far forgot himself as
+to let slip an expletive of three simple letters,
+whereat Mrs. <span class="sc">Kean</span> held up her hands
+in horror and quitted the room, followed by
+the actresses who happened to be present.
+Subsequently some wag at the Garrick Club
+wrote a song whereof the burden was "The
+Man who said 'dam' in the Green-Room."
+<i>Tempora mutantur</i>, and now, at the Avenue
+Theatre, under the management of Mr. and
+Mrs. <span class="sc">Kendal</span> in the Green-Room and behind
+the scenes, as well as on the stage, "<span class="sc">Dam</span>"
+will be in everyone's mouth, as this happens
+to be the name of the Author of their latest
+successful production.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3>THE NEWEST TALE OF A TUB.</h3>
+
+<p class="center">(<i>By a Sufferer from the Modern Laundry System.</i>)</p>
+
+<div class="poem">  <div class="stanza">
+<p class="i6">Rub-a-rub-rub!</p>
+<p class="i6">Three ghouls at a tub:</p>
+<p>Our shirts and our collars they savagely scrub.</p>
+<p class="i6">The fronts they make bagg&eacute;d,</p>
+<p class="i6">The wristbands quite jagg&eacute;d,</p>
+<p>And send home our linen all rotten and ragged!</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i6">Scrub-a-scrub-scrub!</p>
+<p class="i6">Three fiends at a tub:</p>
+<p>In chemical bleachings they dabble and grub.</p>
+<p class="i6">Our shirts each bespatters</p>
+<p class="i6">Then brush them to tatters.</p>
+<p>The wearers get mad as March hares or as hatters!</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i6">Rub-a-scrub-scrub!</p>
+<p class="i6">Three hags at a tub:</p>
+<p>They scrape with a wire-brush, and pound with a club!</p>
+<p class="i6">Smash buttons, burst stitches,</p>
+<p class="i6">And&mdash;swell Laundry riches!</p>
+<p><i>Who'll save us from this cauldron-tub's dread Three Witches?</i></p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<blockquote><p>The Stock Exchange, <i>Mr. Punch</i> understands,
+has gone into politics. With a view
+to test the knowledge of the brokers who
+"proceshed" to the Guildhall, he asks them,&mdash;What
+is the Commission upon Evicted
+Tenants? All sellers, no buyers.</p></blockquote>
+
+<hr class="full" />
+
+
+<table summary="note" align="center" style="margin-top: 3em;">
+<tr><td class="note">
+
+<p>Transcriber's Note:</p>
+
+<p>Sundry broken punctuation has been corrected.</p>
+
+</td></tr></table>
+
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<hr class="pg" />
+<p>***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI, VOL. 104, MAY 13, 1893***</p>
+<p>******* This file should be named 26708-h.txt or 26708-h.zip *******</p>
+<p>This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:<br />
+<a href="http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/6/7/0/26708">http://www.gutenberg.org/2/6/7/0/26708</a></p>
+<p>Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
+will be renamed.</p>
+
+<p>Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
+one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
+(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
+permission and without paying copyright royalties.  Special rules,
+set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
+copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to
+protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark.  Project
+Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you
+charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission.  If you
+do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the
+rules is very easy.  You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose
+such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and
+research.  They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do
+practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks.  Redistribution is
+subject to the trademark license, especially commercial
+redistribution.</p>
+
+
+
+<pre>
+*** START: FULL LICENSE ***
+
+THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
+PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
+
+To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
+distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
+(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at
+<a href="http://www.gutenberg.org/license">http://www.gutenberg.org/license)</a>.
+
+
+Section 1.  General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic works
+
+1.A.  By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
+and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
+(trademark/copyright) agreement.  If you do not agree to abide by all
+the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy
+all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession.
+If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the
+terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or
+entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.
+
+1.B.  "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark.  It may only be
+used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
+agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement.  There are a few
+things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
+even without complying with the full terms of this agreement.  See
+paragraph 1.C below.  There are a lot of things you can do with Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement
+and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.  See paragraph 1.E below.
+
+1.C.  The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation"
+or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works.  Nearly all the individual works in the
+collection are in the public domain in the United States.  If an
+individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are
+located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from
+copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative
+works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg
+are removed.  Of course, we hope that you will support the Project
+Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by
+freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of
+this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with
+the work.  You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by
+keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others.
+
+1.D.  The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
+what you can do with this work.  Copyright laws in most countries are in
+a constant state of change.  If you are outside the United States, check
+the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement
+before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or
+creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project
+Gutenberg-tm work.  The Foundation makes no representations concerning
+the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United
+States.
+
+1.E.  Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
+
+1.E.1.  The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate
+access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently
+whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the
+phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed,
+copied or distributed:
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+1.E.2.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived
+from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is
+posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied
+and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees
+or charges.  If you are redistributing or providing access to a work
+with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the
+work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1
+through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the
+Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or
+1.E.9.
+
+1.E.3.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
+with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
+must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional
+terms imposed by the copyright holder.  Additional terms will be linked
+to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the
+permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.
+
+1.E.4.  Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
+work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.
+
+1.E.5.  Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
+electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
+prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
+active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm License.
+
+1.E.6.  You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
+compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any
+word processing or hypertext form.  However, if you provide access to or
+distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than
+"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version
+posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org),
+you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a
+copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon
+request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other
+form.  Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
+
+1.E.7.  Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
+performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
+unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
+
+1.E.8.  You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
+access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided
+that
+
+- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
+     the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
+     you already use to calculate your applicable taxes.  The fee is
+     owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he
+     has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the
+     Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.  Royalty payments
+     must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you
+     prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax
+     returns.  Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and
+     sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the
+     address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to
+     the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."
+
+- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
+     you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
+     does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+     License.  You must require such a user to return or
+     destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium
+     and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of
+     Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any
+     money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
+     electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days
+     of receipt of the work.
+
+- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
+     distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+1.E.9.  If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set
+forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from
+both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael
+Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark.  Contact the
+Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.
+
+1.F.
+
+1.F.1.  Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
+effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
+public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm
+collection.  Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain
+"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or
+corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual
+property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a
+computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by
+your equipment.
+
+1.F.2.  LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right
+of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
+liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
+fees.  YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
+LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
+PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3.  YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
+TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
+LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
+INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
+DAMAGE.
+
+1.F.3.  LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
+defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
+receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
+written explanation to the person you received the work from.  If you
+received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with
+your written explanation.  The person or entity that provided you with
+the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a
+refund.  If you received the work electronically, the person or entity
+providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to
+receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund.  If the second copy
+is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further
+opportunities to fix the problem.
+
+1.F.4.  Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
+in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS,' WITH NO OTHER
+WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
+WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
+
+1.F.5.  Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
+warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages.
+If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the
+law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be
+interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by
+the applicable state law.  The invalidity or unenforceability of any
+provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.
+
+1.F.6.  INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
+trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
+providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance
+with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production,
+promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works,
+harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees,
+that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do
+or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm
+work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any
+Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause.
+
+
+Section  2.  Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
+electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers
+including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers.  It exists
+because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from
+people in all walks of life.
+
+Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
+assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's
+goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
+remain freely available for generations to come.  In 2001, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
+and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations.
+To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
+and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4
+and the Foundation web page at http://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/pglaf.
+
+
+Section 3.  Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive
+Foundation
+
+The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
+501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
+state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
+Revenue Service.  The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification
+number is 64-6221541.  Contributions to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent
+permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.
+
+The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S.
+Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered
+throughout numerous locations.  Its business office is located at
+809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email
+business@pglaf.org.  Email contact links and up to date contact
+information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official
+page at http://www.gutenberg.org/about/contact
+
+For additional contact information:
+     Dr. Gregory B. Newby
+     Chief Executive and Director
+     gbnewby@pglaf.org
+
+Section 4.  Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
+spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
+increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
+freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
+array of equipment including outdated equipment.  Many small donations
+($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
+status with the IRS.
+
+The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
+charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
+States.  Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
+considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
+with these requirements.  We do not solicit donations in locations
+where we have not received written confirmation of compliance.  To
+SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any
+particular state visit http://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/pglaf
+
+While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
+have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
+against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
+approach us with offers to donate.
+
+International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
+any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
+outside the United States.  U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
+
+Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
+methods and addresses.  Donations are accepted in a number of other
+ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations.
+To donate, please visit: http://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/donate
+
+
+Section 5.  General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.
+
+Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm
+concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared
+with anyone.  For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project
+Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
+editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S.
+unless a copyright notice is included.  Thus, we do not necessarily
+keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.
+
+Each eBook is in a subdirectory of the same number as the eBook's
+eBook number, often in several formats including plain vanilla ASCII,
+compressed (zipped), HTML and others.
+
+Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks replace the old file and take over
+the old filename and etext number.  The replaced older file is renamed.
+VERSIONS based on separate sources are treated as new eBooks receiving
+new filenames and etext numbers.
+
+Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility:
+
+<a href="http://www.gutenberg.org">http://www.gutenberg.org</a>
+
+This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
+including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
+Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
+subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.
+
+EBooks posted prior to November 2003, with eBook numbers BELOW #10000,
+are filed in directories based on their release date.  If you want to
+download any of these eBooks directly, rather than using the regular
+search system you may utilize the following addresses and just
+download by the etext year.
+
+<a href="http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/etext06/">http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/etext06/</a>
+
+    (Or /etext 05, 04, 03, 02, 01, 00, 99,
+     98, 97, 96, 95, 94, 93, 92, 92, 91 or 90)
+
+EBooks posted since November 2003, with etext numbers OVER #10000, are
+filed in a different way.  The year of a release date is no longer part
+of the directory path.  The path is based on the etext number (which is
+identical to the filename).  The path to the file is made up of single
+digits corresponding to all but the last digit in the filename.  For
+example an eBook of filename 10234 would be found at:
+
+http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/0/2/3/10234
+
+or filename 24689 would be found at:
+http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/4/6/8/24689
+
+An alternative method of locating eBooks:
+<a href="http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/GUTINDEX.ALL">http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/GUTINDEX.ALL</a>
+
+*** END: FULL LICENSE ***
+</pre>
+</body>
+</html>
diff --git a/26708-h/images/217a-150.png b/26708-h/images/217a-150.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..d27b5cc
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/217a-150.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/217a.png b/26708-h/images/217a.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..7f0e6de
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/217a.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/217b-150.png b/26708-h/images/217b-150.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..1aa9734
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/217b-150.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/217b.png b/26708-h/images/217b.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..fcbf3d0
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/217b.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/218-430.png b/26708-h/images/218-430.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..6a115e3
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/218-430.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/218.png b/26708-h/images/218.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..1bd189e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/218.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/219-370.png b/26708-h/images/219-370.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..5dd708f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/219-370.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/219.png b/26708-h/images/219.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..be2c6b1
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/219.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/220-300.png b/26708-h/images/220-300.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..0534b58
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/220-300.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/220.png b/26708-h/images/220.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..5fee4c4
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/220.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/221-400.png b/26708-h/images/221-400.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..87d134f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/221-400.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/221.png b/26708-h/images/221.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..254575c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/221.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/222-600.png b/26708-h/images/222-600.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..178d40c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/222-600.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/222.png b/26708-h/images/222.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..12b4bad
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/222.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/223-380.png b/26708-h/images/223-380.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..d5e0ea5
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/223-380.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/223.png b/26708-h/images/223.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..cb7efa0
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/223.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/225-250.png b/26708-h/images/225-250.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..20164dd
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/225-250.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/225.png b/26708-h/images/225.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..75898bb
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/225.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/226a-600.png b/26708-h/images/226a-600.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..e22a1e8
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/226a-600.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/226a.png b/26708-h/images/226a.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..81530c6
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/226a.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/226b-250.png b/26708-h/images/226b-250.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..03becdd
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/226b-250.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/226b.png b/26708-h/images/226b.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..23e5dbe
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/226b.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/227a-292.png b/26708-h/images/227a-292.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..bf73d21
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/227a-292.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/227a.png b/26708-h/images/227a.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..e80b2e8
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/227a.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/227b-210.png b/26708-h/images/227b-210.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..4a012c5
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/227b-210.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/227b.png b/26708-h/images/227b.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..1e223c2
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/227b.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/227c-160.png b/26708-h/images/227c-160.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..b07bcfd
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/227c-160.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/227c.png b/26708-h/images/227c.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..939dd5f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/227c.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/227d-272.png b/26708-h/images/227d-272.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..57527bd
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/227d-272.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/227d.png b/26708-h/images/227d.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..4310606
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/227d.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/227e-156.png b/26708-h/images/227e-156.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..c4c5fac
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/227e-156.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/227e.png b/26708-h/images/227e.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..5d8bf80
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/227e.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/227f-205.png b/26708-h/images/227f-205.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..013dcbd
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/227f-205.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/227f.png b/26708-h/images/227f.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..691f81b
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/227f.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/227g-388.png b/26708-h/images/227g-388.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..32ee5f5
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/227g-388.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/227g.png b/26708-h/images/227g.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..7c3afc4
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/227g.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/228-360.png b/26708-h/images/228-360.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..28c2fd6
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/228-360.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/228.png b/26708-h/images/228.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..f15ec11
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/228.png
diff --git a/26708-h/images/323-380.png b/26708-h/images/323-380.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..a87aa60
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-h/images/323-380.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p217.png b/26708-page-images/p217.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..88e3e29
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p217.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p217a-image.png b/26708-page-images/p217a-image.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..2fcc1a4
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p217a-image.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p217b-image.png b/26708-page-images/p217b-image.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..fb17b83
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p217b-image.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p218-image.png b/26708-page-images/p218-image.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..a9b7fae
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p218-image.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p218.png b/26708-page-images/p218.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..8929171
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p218.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p219-image.png b/26708-page-images/p219-image.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..90a3363
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p219-image.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p219.png b/26708-page-images/p219.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..2d9a81c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p219.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p220-image.png b/26708-page-images/p220-image.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..52edf80
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p220-image.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p220.png b/26708-page-images/p220.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..29305ba
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p220.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p221-image.png b/26708-page-images/p221-image.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..817fa8f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p221-image.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p221.png b/26708-page-images/p221.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..d9a1db7
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p221.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p222-image.png b/26708-page-images/p222-image.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..f07beaf
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p222-image.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p222.png b/26708-page-images/p222.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..520aa2f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p222.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p223-image.png b/26708-page-images/p223-image.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..de4a33f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p223-image.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p223.png b/26708-page-images/p223.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..a2c5466
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p223.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p224-image.png b/26708-page-images/p224-image.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..5a61de7
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p224-image.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p224.png b/26708-page-images/p224.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..b3d8376
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p224.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p225.png b/26708-page-images/p225.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..59b09bb
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p225.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p226.png b/26708-page-images/p226.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..eb4a2b2
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p226.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p226a-image.png b/26708-page-images/p226a-image.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..7ff29ee
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p226a-image.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p226b-image.png b/26708-page-images/p226b-image.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..035f68b
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p226b-image.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p227.png b/26708-page-images/p227.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..7c88203
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p227.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p227a-image.png b/26708-page-images/p227a-image.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..2ddb7aa
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p227a-image.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p227b-image.png b/26708-page-images/p227b-image.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..11021fe
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p227b-image.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p227c-image.png b/26708-page-images/p227c-image.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..c7f8d75
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p227c-image.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p227d-image.png b/26708-page-images/p227d-image.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..e2d8a84
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p227d-image.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p227e-image.png b/26708-page-images/p227e-image.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..4d59a20
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p227e-image.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p227f-image.png b/26708-page-images/p227f-image.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..b23a30e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p227f-image.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p227g-image.png b/26708-page-images/p227g-image.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..91a53cf
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p227g-image.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p228-image.png b/26708-page-images/p228-image.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..bbebd6f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p228-image.png
diff --git a/26708-page-images/p228.png b/26708-page-images/p228.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..d591c14
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708-page-images/p228.png
diff --git a/26708.txt b/26708.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..384d04f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,1828 @@
+The Project Gutenberg eBook, Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 104, May
+13, 1893, by Various, Edited by F. C. (Francis Cowley) Burnand
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+
+
+
+Title: Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 104, May 13, 1893
+
+
+Author: Various
+
+Editor: F. C. (Francis Cowley) Burnand
+
+Release Date: September 27, 2008  [eBook #26708]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII)
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI,
+VOL. 104, MAY 13, 1893***
+
+
+E-text prepared by Lesley Halamek, Juliet Sutherland, and the Project
+Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team (https://www.pgdp.net)
+
+
+
+Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this
+      file which includes the original illustrations.
+      See 26708-h.htm or 26708-h.zip:
+      (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/6/7/0/26708/26708-h/26708-h.htm)
+      or
+      (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/6/7/0/26708/26708-h.zip)
+
+
+
+
+
+PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
+
+VOLUME 104, MAY 13TH 1893
+
+edited by Sir Francis Burnand
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+MIXED NOTIONS.
+
+No. X.--THE BEHRING-SEA ARBITRATION.
+
+
+(_Scene and Persons as usual._ _The Conversation has already begun._)
+
+_First Well-informed Man_ (_concluding a tirade_). ---- so what I want
+to know is this: are we or are we not to submit to the Yankees? It's
+all very well talking about Chicago Exhibitions and all that, but if
+they're going to capture our ships and prevent us killing seals, why,
+the sooner we tell 'em to go to blue blazes the better. And as for its
+being a _mare clausum_----
+
+[Illustration]
+
+_Inquirer_ (_interrupting_). Who was she? What's she got to do with
+it?
+
+_First W. I. M._ (_laughing vigorously_). Ha! ha! that's a good 'un.
+
+_Inquirer_ (_nettled_). Oh, laugh away, laugh away. That's you all
+over.
+
+_First W. I. M._ My dear chap, I'm very sorry, but I really couldn't
+help it. There's no woman in the business at all. _Mare clausum_
+merely means the place where they catch the seals, you know; _mare_,
+Latin for sea.
+
+_Inquirer._ Oh! I should have known that directly, if you'd only
+pronounced it properly. But what does _clausum_ mean?
+
+_First W. I. M._ Well, of course, that means--well, a clause, don't
+you know. It's in the treaty.
+
+_Average Man_ (_looking up from his paper_). It used to be the Latin
+for "closed," but I suppose it's altered now.
+
+_First W. I. M._ (_incredulously_). It can't mean that, anyhow. Who
+ever heard of a closed sea, I should like to know?
+
+_Second W. I. M._ (_hazarding a suggestion_). It _might_ mean a
+harbour, you know, or something of that sort.
+
+_Average Man._ I daresay it _might_ mean that, but it doesn't happen
+to be a harbour (_relapses into paper_).
+
+_Second W. I. M._ Oh, well, I only made the suggestion.
+
+          [_A pause._
+
+_Inquirer._ But what are they arbitrating about in Paris? It says
+(_reading from newspaper_) "When Mr. CARTER, the United States
+Counsel, had concluded his speech, he was complimented by the
+President, the Baron DE COURCEL, who told him he had spoken on
+behalf of humanity." I thought old CARNOT was President of the French
+Republic.
+
+_First W. I. M._ So he is.
+
+_Inquirer_. But this paper says Baron DE COURCEL is President.
+
+_Second W. I. M._ Oh, I suppose that's one of CARNOT's titles, All
+these blessed foreigners are Barons, or something of that sort.
+
+_Inquirer._ Ah, I suppose that must be it. But what have the French
+got to do with the Behring Sea? I thought it was all between us and
+the Yankees.
+
+_First W. I. M._ So it is--but the French are arbitrating. That's how
+they come into the business. I can't say, personally, I like these
+arbitrations. We're always arbitrating now, and giving everything
+away. If we think we're right, why can't we say so, and stick to it,
+and let the French, and the Yankees, and the Russians, and all the
+rest of 'em, take it from us, if they can?
+
+_Second W. I. M._ Take what from us?
+
+_First W. I. M._ Why, whatever it happens to be, the Behring Sea, or
+anything else. We're so deuced afraid of everybody now, we never
+show fight; it's perfectly sickening. But of course you can't expect
+anything else from old GLADSTONE.
+
+_Second W. I. M._ That's right--shove it all on to old GLADSTONE.
+But you're wrong this time. It was JO CHAMBERLAIN, one of your
+own blessed Unionists, that you're so proud of, who arranged this
+arbitration.
+
+_First W. I. M._ I know that, my dear boy; but CHAMBERLAIN was a
+Radical then; so where are you now?
+
+          [_A pause._
+
+_Inquirer_ (_who has continued his reading, suddenly, with a puzzled
+air_). I say, you know, this is too much of a good thing, bringing
+the Russians into the business. It says--(_reads_)--"documents were
+submitted, on behalf of the United States, to prove that Russia had
+never abandoned her sovereign rights in the manner suggested by Great
+Britain." How, on earth, does Russia manage to crop up everywhere? And
+where is this confounded Behring Sea?
+
+_Second W. I. M._ (_vaguely_). It's somewhere in America, or
+Newfoundland, or thereabouts.
+
+_Inquirer._ But how about Russia?
+
+_Second W. I. M._ Oh, Russia shoves her oar in whenever we get into a
+difficulty of any kind anywhere.
+
+_Inquirer_ (_persisting_). Yes--but how can she have any "sovereign
+rights" in America?
+
+_Second W. I. M._ (_haughtily, but evasively_). My dear fellow, if
+you had followed the thing properly, you wouldn't ask the question.
+There's no time now to explain it all to you, as it's very
+complicated, and goes back a long way. But you may take it from me
+that Russia has got certain rights, and that she means to make things
+as disagreeable for us as she can.
+
+          [_A pause._
+
+_Inquirer._ It's rather a rum start, isn't it? sending out Sir
+CHARLES RUSSELL and Sir RICHARD WEBSTER. They're on opposite sides of
+politics.
+
+_First W. I. M._ That's just why they send 'em. RUSSELL has got to put
+the Liberal view, and WEBSTER the Conservative.
+
+_Inquirer._ Of course, of course; I never thought of that. By the way,
+have you ever seen a seal?
+
+_First W. I. M._ They've got one at the Zoo. Catches fish, and kisses
+the keeper, and all that sort of game.
+
+_Inquirer._ What, that big beast that looks as if it was made of
+india-rubber, with long whiskers and a sort of fish-tail?
+
+_First W. I. M._ That's it.
+
+_Inquirer_ (_with profound disgust_). Well, I _am_ blessed! Is _that_
+all they're jawing about?
+
+          [_Terminus._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+IN MEMORIAM--"THE DEVIL'S OWN."
+
+    ["Notwithstanding the efforts made by the Inns of Court
+    Rifles, supported by the Authorities of the Inns, to increase
+    the strength of the corps, the additional enrolments lately
+    made have been judged by the War Office not sufficient
+    to warrant the continued maintenance of the corps as an
+    independent battalion; and orders have been given for its
+    reduction from six to four companies, for the withdrawal of
+    the Adjutant, and for the attachment of the corps to the 4th
+    Middlesex Rifles."--_Daily Paper._]
+
+  Oh, how bright were the days when we all of us saw
+  In their martial equipment the limbs of the Law.
+  With their helmets and rifles, and pouches complete,
+  (May I quote from the ladies), they "really looked sweet."
+  The Colonel, the Major, and all their attendants,
+  Appeared not as counsel, since all were defendants;
+  And no soldierly spirit could equal the Bar's,
+  When Themis, its goddess, was mated with Mars.
+
+  No more shall they charm us; harsh Fate with her shears
+  Has severed the thread of the Law's Volunteers.
+  And, whatever the cause was, 'twas certainly true
+  That these fee-less defenders at last were too few.
+  So now they're absorbed, and, no longer the same,
+  They lose by attachment their being and name.
+  And the old Devil's Own, from their discipline loosed,
+  Have gone to their owner; _i.e._, they're _re-duced_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+ENGLISH AS SHE IS SPOKE.
+
+(_In the House and out of it._)
+
+The Parliamentary Committee appointed to consider the best mode of
+reporting in the House, have decided that it will be advisable to
+allow Members to have an opportunity of revising their speeches after
+they have been "taken down" verbatim. The result of this suggestion
+will probably be as follows:--
+
+[Illustration: "Spoke? Rather!"]
+
+MR. SYMPLE-STUTTER'S SPEECH.
+
+(_Verbatim Report._)
+
+Mr. SPEAKER, Sir, What I mean to say, I venture to think is that the
+British Empire--yes Sir--that is what I venture to think, and _I_ am
+a young Member. For I do not believe--no not now--or in fact, when
+otherwise. For envy and malice are together. I venture to think that
+sometimes the British Empire. Yes Sir, for the enemies are at our
+gates with the past and the future. When the sun sinks--not that it
+follows--at least so I venture to think. You may believe me, Sir,
+that it is farthest from my thoughts when the British Empire and the
+sinking sun which I venture to think is--in point of fact the setting
+sun, and I venture to think the British Empire, and that is I venture
+to think was my proposal in the past--which has the terrors of the
+present from generation to generation.
+
+(_Revised Report._)
+
+Mr. SPEAKER, Sir, at a time like the present--when the enemies of the
+Empire are clamouring at our gates, when envy walks hand-in-hand
+with malice, and our fate is in our own hands--we should be bold and
+resolute. It is not for a young Member like myself to point out the
+course that we should pursue, but I venture to think that, by ignoring
+the terrors of the past with the courage of the present, we shall
+avert the dangers of the future. It has been said--and truly
+said--that the sun never sets upon the British Empire. Let us believe
+in that sun, and find in its rays an earnest of that glory which was
+the birthright of our ancestors, and which, should be the birthright
+of our descendants from generation to generation.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: ANTONY AND CLEOPATRA.
+
+_Antony_ ... JOHN BULL. _Cleopatra_ ... EGYPT. _Mecaenas_ ... H.
+L-B-CH-RE. _Enobarbus_ ... GL-DST-NE.
+
+_Mecaenas_ (_aside to_ ENOBARBUS). "NOW ANTONY MUST LEAVE HER UTTERLY."
+
+_Enobarbus_ (_aside to_ MECAENAS). "NEVER; HE WILL NOT." (_Apart._) "AT
+LEAST, NOT YET."
+
+  _Ant. and Cleo., Act II. Scene 2, adapted._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+MR. GLADSTONE'S CHANGE OF NAME.
+
+  He was "The People's WILLIAM." He will
+  Be known in future as "Our Home-Rule BILL."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+HIGH NOTES FOR A VIOLIN.--Last week a Stradivarius (_vide Daily
+News_), a real genuine "Strad," sold at PUTTICK AND SIMPSON'S for
+L860. Fiddle de L. S. Dee!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+IN THE TIME OF THE RESTAURATION.--They're going it! Feeding, feeding
+everywhere, and not a bit to eat--without paying for it pretty
+heavily. We gather from a note in _Sala's Journal_, that LONG'S Hotel
+now possesses a "Restauration." Of course, those who live in "Short's
+Gardens," won't be able to patronise "LONG'S." The management is
+announced as under the direction of a "M. DIETTE," and, as he has
+obtained no inconsiderable renown (so we are informed) at the Berkeley
+and Bristol, patrons of LONG'S may expect something superior, by way
+of "DIETTE-ary."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+MR. PUNCH TO THE BETROTHED PAIR.
+
+(_The Duke of York and the Princess May of Teck._)
+
+MAY 3, 1893.
+
+
+  'Mid the bird-chorus of the May,
+    From glade and garden madly ringing,
+  There sounds one welcome note to-day,
+    Round the glad world its way 'tis winging.
+  You hear--you hear the general cheer
+    That greets it! 'Twill suffice to show you
+  That all who love you joy to hear.
+    And all who love are all who know you!
+
+  Soft music of the marriage-bell
+    Seems woven 'midst the world's Spring Voices.
+  In truth, there's little need to tell
+    How in the prospect _Punch_ rejoices.
+  His well-pleased eye has watched your way;
+    His loyal heart has shared your sadness;
+  Now on this bright Betrothal-Day
+    Your gladness he acclaims--with gladness!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+How is Mr. F. LUKE FILDES, R.A.?--In excellent health we sincerely
+hope, but from seeing daily, in the front sheet of the _Times_, an
+advertisement commencing "The Doctor after LUKE FILDES, R.A." Many
+friends began to feel anxious. We are glad to be able to add, that, in
+answer to the numerous inquiries made at 39, Old Bond Street, a most
+satisfactory report has been obtained.
+
+[Illustration: "HONOURS EASY."
+
+_First Undergraduate._ "I SAY, OLD MAN, DID YOU WIN YOUR MONEY?"
+
+_Second Un._ "'COURSE NOT; WON SOMEBODY ELSE'S. _YOU_ LOST _YOUR_
+COIN, DIDN'T YOU?"
+
+_First Un._ "MY COIN! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I LOST THE
+GUV'NOR'S!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+MUSE v. MECHANIC.
+
+["Mr. NORMAN GALE--the Muse of orchards and pretty girls with polished
+knees; a charm often left unsung."--_Mr. Andrew Lang on the Poems of
+"A Country Muse."_]
+
+  "A Country Muse" sings, if you please,
+  Of pretty girls "with polished knees"!
+    One would not quite demolish
+  The graphic rhymester's stock-in-trade,
+  But if bare knees must be displayed,
+    He _might_ forego the polish.
+
+  It smacks of fustian! Workmen's "bags"
+  Are very "polished" where the "sags"
+    From salient joints protuberant,
+  Grow shiny with continual friction;
+  But "polished knees" in poet's diction
+    Strike one as too exuberant.
+
+  Say varnished elbows, burnished knuckles,
+  And you'll elicit scornful chuckles
+    From Muse and from Mechanic!
+  Selections from the terms of trade
+  Would put, I'm very much afraid,
+    Parnassus in a panic.
+
+  The bards are sometimes rather free
+  With feminine anatomy;
+    Their catalogues erotic
+  Of pretty girls' peculiar "points,"
+  Their eyes and limbs, and curves and joints,
+    Are often idiotic.
+
+  But if we must be told, sometimes,
+  Ladies have limbs, then that your rhymes
+    May not offend or fog any,
+  Don't _mechanise_ a maiden's charms;
+  Leave "polishing" to legs and arms
+    Of walnut or mahogany.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+RHYMES ON THE DECAY OF ROMANCE.
+
+(_Suggested by Mr. Frederic Harrison's recent Article in "The
+Forum."_)
+
+  Oh, list to Mr. HARRISON lamenting from _The Forum_,
+  Imagination done to death by latter-day decorum!
+  "Good boys and girls" we've all become, and modern men and maidens
+          see
+  The world with such prosaic eyes, Romance is in decadency!
+
+  We're too absorbed in Politics, enamoured of Monotony,
+  To give an ear to Geniuses (supposing we had _got_ any!)
+  But First-Class in our Fiction Mr. HARRISON abolishes,
+  Indeed most Authors travel Third, their talent so toll-lollish is.
+
+  It's all the _Fin-de-Siecle's_ fault--and this, of course, a true
+          bill is;
+  For Genius puts its shutters up when centuries pass their jubilees!
+  As Mr. HARRISON can prove by references historical,--
+  And any utterance of his is equal to an oracle.
+
+  We cannot stand a novel now, he says, if there's a shock in it;
+  Prefer our heroine angular, her eye must have a cock in it,
+  Unless she's dull and middle-aged, no sympathy have _we_ with her,
+  Her sole excitement is to ask a plainer friend to tea with her!
+
+  He thinks, were _Pickwick_ written now, we'd view it with a cooler
+          eye,
+  And term the Trial Scene a piece of "riotous tomfoolery;"
+  While _Jane Eyre's_ thrilling narrative of _Rochester's_ sad
+          revelries
+  Of "shilling shockers" scarcely would to-day above the level rise!
+
+  An age that's given up its gas to read by Electricity
+  Would naturally be repelled by THACKERAY'S causticity,
+  And scorn the characters of SCOTT, because they had Glengarries on,
+  An inference which is obvious--to Mr. FREDERIC HARRISON!
+
+  How scathingly does he denounce our Literature degenerate,
+  With not a real Romancer left--or only two at any rate!
+  By "desperate expedients," each the old tradition carries on--
+  "But it's no good"--as they're informed by Mr. FREDERIC HARRISON.
+
+  For Mr. STEVENSON can write no stories worth hurraying at,
+  While he upon Pacific Isle persists in _Crusoe_ playing at!
+  And Mr. KIPLING's ceased to count--no heart in what he does is
+          there--
+  He longs for death in far Soudan, a-fighting Fuzzy-Wuzzies there!
+
+  So we've only Mr. MEREDITH--(oh, what a sad disgrace it is!)
+  Though Mr. BLACKMORE writes romance--how poor and commonplace it is!
+  While Messrs. THOMAS HARDY, BLACK, and BESANT, it would seem, are
+          all
+  Unworthy serious notice, mere nonentities ephemeral!
+
+  Some people like Miss BRADDON, Mrs. OLIPHANT, Miss BROUGHTON, too.
+  They're only lady-novelists--so serious readers _oughtn't_ to,
+  And those who've been convinced by his invidious comparisons,
+  In future will eschew romance--excepting Mr. HARRISON'S.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+THE DARWINIAN THEORY EXEMPLIFIED.--At the Zoo is now being exhibited
+"Three White-tailed Gnus,"--"The Latest Gnus." with the best possible
+intelligence,--"and a Black-capped Gibbon." This last is evidently a
+descendant of the great historian; though, if this exemplifies "the
+survival of the fittest," where are the others of the race? Then
+"Black-capped" sounds ominous, as if this particular Gibbon stood
+self-condemned, and was soon to disappear. Should this be the case,
+the Zoo Authorities ought to advertise the fact, and give visitors a
+chance before it is too late.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
+
+EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
+
+_House of Commons, Monday Night May 1._--Demonstrated in Debate on
+Second Reading Home-Rule Bill that House may talk and talk through
+twelve long nights, and not affect single vote--not even SAUNDERS'S.
+To-night shown how a single speech may cause to collapse what was
+expected and intended to be big Debate. It was Mr. G. performed the
+miracle. Looked in at House on his way from Downing Street, where
+he had received deputation on Eight Hours Question, and delivered
+important speech. That might have served as day's work for ordinary
+man, Mr. G., not to put too fine a point upon it, is not ordinary man.
+Being here, sat listening to DILKE with close attention. DILKE thinks
+time has come to evacuate Egypt. Stated his case in luminous speech;
+sustained his reputation of knowing more about Egyptian Question than
+most men except perhaps TOMMY BOWLES.
+
+Mr. G. made no outward and visible sign of intention to follow; took
+no notes, and sometimes, as he sat with drooping arms and closed eyes,
+seemed to sleep. DILKE done and down, he sat bolt upright, looked
+round with almost startled air, "Well, really," he seemed to be saying
+to himself, "since I am here, and no one else is disposed to follow, I
+might as well say a few words."
+
+Spoke for half an hour, without reference to a note, and without
+faltering for a word. Preserved throughout that studious assumption
+of having accidentally looked in which marked his appearance at
+table. Evidently desired to minimise as much as possible importance
+of occasion. Subject broached, he was, possibly, expected to say
+something; certainly not going to make a speech, much less deliver
+oration. Carried out this subtle fancy to such extent that, pitching
+voice on low conversational tone, sometimes difficult to catch full
+length of sentences. This added to impressiveness of scene. Crowded
+House sitting breathless; Members opposite leaning forward lest
+they might miss a phrase. Everyone conscious that at the door also
+listening were jealous France, the wily Turk, the interested Egyptian,
+the not entirely disinterested CZAR, and the other Great Powers
+concerned for peace of Europe.
+
+Mr. G., for all his affectation of unpremeditation, evidently had in
+mind these listeners at the door. To their shadowy presence was, for
+him, added consciousness of keen eyes watching him from all quarters
+of the House; some of his friends waiting for sign of readiness to
+quit Egypt; the Opposition ready to catch at any token of tendency to
+scuttle. Occasional passages he delivered at rapid rate; but you could
+see him weighing every word with due consideration of these manifold
+and conflicting interests and influences.
+
+When he sat down, there was consciousness that the massive figure of
+important Debate that had loomed over House whilst DILKE was speaking
+had melted away. JOKIM and GORST had intended to speak from Front
+Bench; great authorities on Foreign Policy in other parts of House
+had proposed to say something, more or less soothing. Mr. G. had left
+nothing for anyone to say, unless it were ALPHEUS CLEOPHAS, and the
+TALENTED TOMMY, who, sitting immediately opposite the PREMIER, had,
+whilst he spoke, taken voluminous notes, only occasionally withdrawing
+eyes from manuscript to fix them with look of calm distrust upon the
+aged and unconscious statesman.
+
+"I always like, when I look in," said MARJORIBANKS, smiling
+beneficently from the Bar, "to find TOMMY in his place, taking notes.
+Gives one a sense of security. I feel, when I'm in the Lobby, looking
+after things, it's all right in the House. BROWNING said something of
+that sort. Don't remember exactly how it ran; something in this way:
+
+  TOMMY BOWLES is in his place;
+  It's all right with the Empire."
+
+_Business done._--Mr. G. excelled himself.
+
+_Tuesday._--Seven-leagued Boots not needed by TALENTED TOMMY. He moves
+about universe with ease and grace, unmindful of mountains, regardless
+of ravines, reckless of rivers, oblivious of oceans. Last night, Forty
+Centuries looked down upon him whilst he showed how, in Egypt, Mr. G.
+is wrong, and DILKE, who criticised Ministerial policy, is not right.
+To-night he stands on the Roof of the World, a solitary, colossal
+figure upright on the lone Pamirs. His attitude is of manifold
+mien. Defiant of Russia, suspicious of ROSEBERY, patronising towards
+Afghanistan, he takes young China familiarly by the elbow, and bids
+it be of good cheer, for TOMMY BOWLES is its friend. Since NAPOLEON
+crossed the Alps, and was caught in the act by the brush of the
+painter, the world has not seen so moving a picture as TOMMY throned
+on the grandly desolate Pamirs.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A PATRON OF OLD CHINA. (_Vide "China Bowles
+Collection."_)]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+House almost empty whilst the Talented One discoursed on the subject.
+Mr. G., who misses nothing, happily in his place, listening with
+eager hand at ear whilst TOMMY spoke familiarly of Asiatic rivers
+and mountains, not one with name of less than five syllables. DICKY
+TEMPLE, who really knows something about this mysterious region,
+looked on in blank amazement at TOMMY'S erudition. EDWARD GREY, who
+would presently have to answer this damaging attack, tried to seem
+indifferent. But his young cheek paled when TOMMY put his ruthless
+finger on that Foreign Office dispatch, out of which a line of print
+had been dropped. This a Machiavellian device that had hitherto
+escaped detection. TOMMY'S falcon eye had noted it, his relentless
+foot had followed up the tracks, and he had discovered, on reference
+to the original, that the criminally-deleted line of print embodied
+a reference to the Oxus. That was all. "Only the Oxus!" he said,
+with withering sarcasm. Then changing his tone and manner, he shook
+a minatory forefinger at the shrinking form of the PREMIER, and cried
+aloud, in voice strengthened with long warring with the winds on the
+Pamirs: "Sir, the stream of the Oxus has been entirely omitted from
+this paragraph."
+
+"Poor Mr. G.!" said W. J. LOWTHER, present in his capacity as
+Ex-Under-Secretary for Foreign Affairs. "What with LABBY one night and
+TOMMY BOWLES the next, he has a sad time of it."
+
+"Yes," said PLUNKET, sole companion on the Front Bench. "It's a hard
+fate for a Prime Minister to stand between L. and TOMMY."
+
+_Business done._--Miscellaneous talk on going into Committee of
+Supply.
+
+_Thursday._--Little difficulty arisen in connection with Budget.
+SQUIRE faced by deficit of million and half. This he met by expedient
+that will be historical, as affording JOKIM opportunity for a popular
+jape. The SQUIRE has dropped his penny in the slot, in accordance with
+directions, pulls out the drawer, and finds there is something more
+than the sum necessary to balance the year's account. That is all
+very well; but there are some amateur CHANCELLORS of the EXCHEQUER who
+would do great things with the odd L20,000 or L30,000 which remains as
+surplus. CLARK wants Graduated Income-tax; BARTLEY proposes Abatement
+on Incomes below L200; whilst GRANT LAWSON would let farmers off with
+half the proposed increase. Best of all is, ALPHEUS CLEOPHAS, who
+would straightway abolish the tax on tea. The keen insight of ALPHEUS
+notes the little difficulty about the deficit.
+
+"The CHANCELLOR of the EXCHEQUER," he observed, in his most judicial
+manner, "may ask me to suggest another source of revenue." The SQUIRE
+pricked up his ears; the Committee sat attentive. If ALPHEUS CLEOPHAS
+had given his great mind to consideration of the subject, it might be
+regarded as settled. All waited for his next utterances. "That," he
+continued, in steely tones, "is the CHANCELLOR of the EXCHEQUER'S
+business. Mine is to carry out the Newcastle Programme." ALPHEUS
+CLEOPHAS thereupon resumed his seat, leaving the SQUIRE gloomily
+facing the dead wall of his deficit.
+
+_Business done._--Budget Bill passed report stage.
+
+_Friday Night._--Some young bloods below Gangway, on Ministerial side,
+in distinctly low spirits. On Tuesday night, stage of Budget Bill
+being taken, with ten minutes to spare, ASQUITH nimbly moved reference
+of Employers' Liability Bill to Grand Committee. Opposition, who want
+it referred to Select Committee, were under impression Mr. G. had
+promised discussion should not be taken till Thursday or Friday. Last
+night CHAMBERLAIN protested that they had been betrayed, and deceived.
+Young bloods below Gangway disposed to chuckle over this spectacle.
+Mr. G., on contrary, takes it seriously to heart. Having got Bill
+referred to Grand Committee, positively agrees to rescind Order, and
+begin all over again.
+
+"It's very seldom," says the SAGE OF QUEEN ANNE'S GATE, in most
+melancholy mood, "that our side show themselves capable of doing a
+smart thing. When, by chance, it is accomplished, Mr. G. comes along,
+and coolly undoes it."
+
+To-day, nearly two hours spent in discussing question; Bill,
+eventually, remitted to Grand Committee, as it had been left at
+midnight on Tuesday.
+
+"Shan't play!" cries CHAMBERLAIN. "All very well for you, with your
+majority, to bowl us over, but you won't gain any time by it. You may
+take a horse to the Grand Committee, but you can't make him discuss
+your Bill."
+
+_Business done._--Budget Bill through.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Q. E. D.
+
+(_By a Grumpy Old Bachelor._)
+
+  "'Tis a mad world, my masters!" Grim LOMBROSO
+    Corroborates mild SHAKSPEARE in this matter.
+  And, though _his_ demonstration seems but so-and-so,
+    No doubt the world's as mad as any hatter,
+  The sweeter sex especially! 'Tis sad,
+    But that rule's absolute, depend upon it!
+  'Tis obvious all women _must_ be mad,
+    Because--there is a "b" in _every_ bonnet!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+WILDER IDEAS;
+
+_Or, Conversation as she is spoken at the Haymarket._
+
+_The Disciple._ Ah, that supper after the Theatre! It was the
+unspeakable following the unplayable. I feel so seedy!
+
+_The Master._ Nay, but have I not told you that the two letters to
+follow "X. S." are "S. and B.?" And you have yourself said that "Soda
+and Brandy is the last refuge of the--digestion."
+
+_The Disciple._ Hang it! I can survive everything--except the cast-off
+clothes of my own epigrams,--or, by the bye, death.
+
+[_Exit from this life, to prove it._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Mem. on the Behring-Sea Business.
+
+  A Forty-hours' speech by magniloquent CARTER!
+  That Behring Tribunal has caught a Tartar!
+  Whatever the upshot one cannot but feel
+  'Tis a fine illustration of "Say and Seal!"
+  Though _Bunsby_ might say of this lengthy oration,
+  "The _Behring_ will lie in the application."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+APPROPRIATE SONG (_for anybody connected with the Tourist-Managing
+firm of Gaze, on hearing a Lady say that she was "going to try a
+Cook."_)
+
+  "Ah me! she has gone from our Gaze,
+    That beautiful girl from our door!"
+
+(_The remainder can be added ad libitum, and sung whenever opportunity
+permits._)
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"A MOVE ON THE BOARD" IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.--Our Surprising
+School-Board has voted in favour of allowing its Industrial School
+youths to enjoy "reasonable recreation" on Sundays. Its version of Sir
+WILLIAM JONES'S distich would be something as follows:--
+
+  The morn at Church, the afternoon at play,
+  Will serve to while the Day of Rest away.
+
+Apparently it looks favourably on a modicum of Sunday Cricket or
+Football, and does not taboo even the enormity of Lawn-tennis.
+As against that eminently strict Sabbatarian, Mrs. GRUNDY, the
+tennis-player may defend himself by a reference to the "services" in
+which he is engaged.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: OBVIOUS.
+
+"WANT ANYTHING ON IT, SIR?"
+
+"YES--CONFOUND YOU! MORE HAIR!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A SWINBURNE!
+
+(_See "Nineteenth Century."_)
+
+  I.
+
+  Three times one are always three;
+  Waves are stormy on the sea;
+  Bonnets oft contain a bee;
+      Bear delights in bun.
+  The ALGERNON, that ever
+  Is linked to CHARLES, shall never
+  From poet SWINBURNE sever,
+      The three appear as one.
+
+  II.
+
+  Once he lashed and slashed the Priest,
+  Chopped him up to make a feast,
+  Called him brute and called him beast,
+      Black as crows are black.
+  But now he rhymes "together"
+  (See CALVERLY) with "weather":
+  He might have thrown in "heather,"
+      A rhyme that men call "hack."
+
+  III.
+
+  Clash the cymbal, beat the gong;
+  Sense is weak, but sound is strong;
+  Such is SWINBURNE'S latest song,
+      Made by him alone.
+  See WATTS and KNOWLES around us,--
+  JAMES KNOWLES with cheques hath bound us
+  To write; the Muse hath found us
+      With Putney Hill as throne.
+
+  IV.
+
+  When the wind's Nor-West by West,
+  Man and beast are rarely blessed.
+  Sometimes I like mutton best,
+      Often I like veal.
+  A poet (_not_ a puny 'un)
+  Who raves about the Union,
+  And hymns the States Communion,
+      Takes none the less his meal.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+In the City. Thursday Last.
+
+_First Member of Stock Exchange_ (_Unionist_). I say, JONES, you
+weren't in it! Why didn't you join us marching in procession, with
+CLARKE carrying the Union Jack, eh?
+
+_Second Member of the House._ Why didn't I join you? Because I didn't
+want to make a Union-Jack-ass of myself!
+
+[_Exit, before the retort is possible._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A Pair of Spectacles.
+
+(_After hearing a much interrupted Speech in the Commons._)
+
+  When a batsman has to go
+  To the tent with a "round O,"
+    He knows _he's_ not made a hit.
+  When a Statesman's hitting well,
+  The round "Oh's" around him swell
+    (Dullards' substitutes for wit).
+  In debate or cricket score,
+  The "round O" means _nought_--no more!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE EXPRESSED DIFFERENTLY.
+
+_Fair Hostess._ "GOOD-NIGHT, MAJOR JONES. WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BREAKFAST
+AT NINE; BUT WE'RE NOT VERY PUNCTUAL PEOPLE. INDEED, THE LATER YOU
+APPEAR TO-MORROW MORNING, THE BETTER PLEASED WE SHALL ALL BE!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+May 10, 1893.
+
+MR. PUNCH'S VISION AT THE OPENING OF THE IMPERIAL INSTITUTE.
+
+  _This Spring's soft beauty is a joy for ever;
+  Its loveliness increases; it will never
+  Pass to forgetfulness; we still must keep
+  Fond memories of this Maytime, calm as sleep
+  Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing.
+  Therefore, on this May morning are we wreathing
+  A flowery band, to bind us round the earth,
+  Spite of despondence, of the inhuman dearth
+  Of patriot natures, Mammen-ridden days,
+  And Toil's unhealthy and o'erdarkened ways
+  Made for our mending: yes, in spite of all
+  This Mayday Vision moves away the pall
+  From our dark spirits!_
+
+  KEATS _adapted to the occasion._
+
+  Thy pardon, _Adonais_, pray,
+    That on this memorable morning
+  We twist those lovely lines astray,
+    As modish maid, her charms adorning
+  A trail may twine of eglantine
+    Into the formal "set" of Fashion.
+  Yet wouldst thou gladly lend thy line
+    To present need; for patriot passion,
+  Love of the little sea-girt land,
+    Has ever fired our English singers.
+  Of England's fame, from strand to strand,
+    Their songs have been the widest wingers.
+  So, _Adonais_, this great day
+  Were "Welcome as the flowers in May!"
+
+  The "flowery band" of KEATS'S song
+    Our Empire's sons to-day are wreathing;
+  Long may it bind, and blossom long.
+    The May-flower's fragrance round us breathing
+  Is nothing sweeter than the thought
+    To patriot hearts of loyal union.
+  Together we have toiled and fought,
+    But gay to-day is our communion.
+  BRITANNIA'S helm is crowned with flowers,
+    BRITANNIA'S trident's wreathed with posies,
+  And Fancy sees in Flora's showers
+    Thistles and Shamrocks blent with Roses.
+  The Indian Lotus let us twine
+    With gorgeous bloom from Afric's jungles
+  Canadian Birch with Austral Pine.
+    Tape-bound Officialdom oft bungles;
+  Some blow too hot, some breathe too cold,
+    O'er-chill are some, and some o'er-gushing;
+  But the same blood-stream, warm and bold,
+    Through all our veins is ever rushing;
+  And so to all true hearts to-day
+  Comes "Welcome as the flowers in May!"
+
+  A QUEEN is with us, to evince
+    Imperial sympathy unfailing;
+  And pleasant to our genial PRINCE
+    This proof that all seems now plainsailing;
+  With his great purpose. Some sneered, "Whim!"
+    But general shouts now drown their sneering.
+  A special salvo's due to _him_
+    Amidst to-day's exuberant cheering.
+  Hail the Imperial Institute!
+    And hail the patient Prince promoter!
+  The man who's neither cynic brute,
+    Nor phrase-led sycophantic doter,
+  May echo that. Our patriot tap
+    Is old, well-kept and genuine stingo;
+  Not the chill quidnunc's cold cat-lap,
+    Nor crude fire-water of the Jingo,
+  But sound as good old English ale,
+    Full-bodied, fragrant, mild, and mellow.
+  To try that tap _Punch_ will not fail,
+    Nor any other right good fellow.
+  A bumper of that draught to-day
+  Is "Welcome as the flowers in May!"
+
+  Weave on! And may that "flowery band"
+    Be surer bond than forged steel fetters.
+  Ho! Hands all round! Whilst hand-in-hand
+    We need not fear the fierce sword-whetters
+  Who'd make the pleasant earth a camp,
+    And stain blood-red the white May-flowers.
+  May echoes of no mailed tramp
+    Disturb ye in your Spring-deck'd bowers,
+  Glad garland-weavers! Heaven bestow
+    "Sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing,"
+  One thing above all others know,
+    Ye who the earth-round band are wreathing,
+  To-day, to-morrow, _any_ day,
+  You're "Welcome as the flowers in May!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"PLAYING THE DUSE."--MR. HORACE SEDGER announces the engagement at the
+Lyric of Mlle. DUSE. The Manager must be prosperous; at all events,
+_he_ is not going to the Duse, but the Duse is coming to him. And as
+to the Theatre--well, if it isn't a success, the Duse is in it!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"SHE ANSWERED 'YUSS'!"--The most recent and most important change of
+name is from "I MAY" to "I WILL."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: MAY 10, 1893.
+
+"THEREFORE ON THIS BRIGHT MAY DAY ARE WE WREATHING A FLOWERY BAND TO
+BIND US ROUND THE EARTH."--KEATS, _slightly altered._]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+THANK YOU!
+
+(_For a Photograph, inscribed "With Ethel Travers's kind regards."_)
+
+[Illustration]
+
+  It was only a week in the brightest of summers,
+    We played tennis and golf, and, when ended the day,
+  We made furious love as two amateur mummers,
+    Whilst Act IV. saw us One in the orthodox way.
+
+  So my holiday ended. I begged a reminder,
+    I asked you to send me a portrait that should
+  Be a sweet recollection, and you, who were kinder
+    Than I ever deserved or dared hope, said you would.
+
+  Then we parted. Life seemed to be painfully lonely,
+    Though I dreamt of a future with you by my side,
+  Till my common-sense seemed to say, "_You_, who are only,
+    Just a poor needy teacher, have _Her_ for a bride!"
+
+  It was true, and I knew it. Yet why had I met you?
+    Why had Fate kept such bitter-sweet fortune in store?
+  So determined I set myself then to forget you,
+    And to let my thoughts dwell on yourself nevermore.
+
+  First your hair with its gold, next your eyes with their laughter,
+    I forgot in a thoroughly workman-like style.
+  Persevering, I never desisted till after
+    Many months I but faintly remembered your smile.
+
+  I completely forgot you (I thought) and the warning
+    Was to save me, I chortled, a future of pain,
+  But you undid it all with your picture this morning,
+    And the same old, old trouble starts over again.
+
+  The Fates are a trifle hard, putting it mildly,
+    For they well might have spared me this finishing touch
+  Of your portrait, which speaking quite calmly yet Wildely,
+    I admire all the more since I hate it so much.
+
+  I shall treasure it, though. Thanks--a thousand--to you, dear.
+    When in sweet meditation your fancy runs free,
+  Is it asking too much that a stray thought or two, dear,
+    From your kindness of heart may come straying to me?
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+POLITICS AND POLITENESS.
+
+DEAR MR. PUNCH,--I see that the Duke of ARGYLL, when he received the
+freedom of the Burgh of Paisley, the other day, told the following
+interesting story:--
+
+    "I was going once to call on a lady in London, and when the
+    door was opened and the servant announced my name, I saw
+    the lady advancing to the door with a look of absolute
+    consternation on her face. I could not conceive what
+    had happened, and thought I had entered her room at some
+    inconvenient moment, but, on looking over her shoulder, I
+    perceived Mr. and Mrs. GLADSTONE sitting at the tea-table, and
+    she evidently thought that there would be some great explosion
+    when we met. She was greatly gratified when nothing of the
+    kind occurred, and we enjoyed a cup of tea as greatly as we
+    had ever done in our lives."
+
+Now, my dear _Mr. Punch_, I have great sympathy with "the Lady," and
+think (with her) the meeting, as described by his Grace of ARGYLL, was
+mild in the extreme. If something out of the common had taken place,
+it would have been far more satisfactory. To make my meaning plainer,
+I give roughly (in dramatic form) what should have happened to have
+made the action worthy of the occasion.
+
+SCENE--_A Drawing-room. Lady entertaining_ Mr. _and_ Mrs. G. _at tea.
+A loud knock heard without._
+
+_Mrs. G._ (_greatly agitated_). Oh dear, I am sure it is he!
+
+_Mr. G._ (_with calm dignity_). Do not fear--if he appears, I shall
+know how to deal with him.
+
+_Lady_ (_pale but calm_). Nay, my good, kind friends, believe me, you
+shall not suffer from the indiscretion of the servant.
+
+_Mrs. G._ (_pushing her husband into a cupboard_). Nay, WILLIAM, for
+my sake! And now to conceal myself, so that he may not suspect his
+presence by my proximity. [_Hides behind the curtains._
+
+_The Duke of Argyll_ (_breaking open the door, and entering
+hurriedly_). And now, Madam, where is my hated foe? I have tracked him
+to this house. It is useless to attempt to conceal him.
+
+_The Lady_ (_laughing uneasily_). Nay, your Grace, you are too
+facetious! Trace the PREMIER here! Next you will be saying that he and
+his good lady were taking tea with me.
+
+_The Duke_ (_suspiciously_). And, no doubt, so they were! This empty
+cup, that half-devoured muffin--to whom do they belong?
+
+_The Lady_ (_with forced gaiety_). Might I not have entertained Mr.
+and Mrs. JOSEPH CHAMBERLAIN, my Lord Duke?
+
+_The Duke_ (_aside_). Can I believe her? (_Aloud._) But if it is as
+you say, I will send away my clansmen who throng the street without.
+(_Opens window and calls._) _Gang a waddy Caller Herring!_ They will
+now depart. (_A sneeze heard off._) What was that?
+
+_The Lady_ (_terrified_). I fancy it was the wind--the cold wind--and
+now, believe me, Mr. GLADSTONE will abandon Home Rule.
+
+_Mr. G._ (_suddenly appearing_). Never! I tell you to your face that
+you are a traitor! [_Sneezes, and hurriedly closes the window._
+
+_The Duke_ (_savagely_). That sneeze shall be your last!
+
+[_Takes up a knife lying on the table._
+
+_Mr. G._ (_repeating the action_). I am ready, Sir!
+
+_Mrs. G._ (_rushing between them_). Oh, WILLIAM! Do not fight!
+
+_The Lady_ (_falling on her knees_). I prithee stay!
+
+_Mr. G._ Never! May the better man win!
+
+_The Duke._ So be it!
+
+[_The Scene closes in upon a desperate duel. Curtain._
+
+_There, Mr. Punch!_ What do you think of that? Still, perhaps, under
+the circumstances of the case, it is better as it is.
+
+  Yours most truly,
+  ONE WHO NEVER PAID TWOPENCE FOR MANNERS.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+THE LITIGANT'S VADE MECUM.
+
+_Question._ Can you tell me the best possible regulations in the
+universe?
+
+_Answer._ Certainly English Common Law.
+
+_Q._ Is English Common Law accessible to everyone?
+
+_A._ Certainly, and if a litigant please, he or she (for sex makes no
+difference) can become his or her own advocate.
+
+_Q._ When a litigant prefers to conduct a case in person, does the
+proceeding invariably save expense?
+
+_A._ Not invariably, because a litigant may have odd views about the
+importance of evidence and the time of professional advisers.
+
+_Q._ When a litigant is afflicted with this lack of knowledge what is
+the customary result?
+
+_A._ That the defendants have to undergo the expense of a
+several-days' trial with counsel to match.
+
+_Q._ Supposing that a journalist, sharply but justly, criticises the
+actions of a man of straw--what can the man of straw do?
+
+_A._ With the aid of some speculative Solicitor, he can commence an
+action for libel.
+
+_Q._ What benefit does the speculative Solicitor obtain?
+
+_A._ The speculative Solicitor, if he can persuade a judge and jury
+to agree, will get his costs, and if the journalist wins he will find
+that the prosecutor or plaintiff is, indeed, a man of straw.
+
+_Q._ Is there any redress?
+
+_A._ None; but a wise journalist will never criticise sharply.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+THE PICK OF THE R.A. PICTURES. No. 2.
+
+No. 139. _Ca donne a penser._ Not a more suggestive pose does any
+portrait possess throughout the Galleries. It is described _tout
+court_ as "ALBERT BRASSEY, Esq.," and 'tis the work (and the pleasure)
+of W. W. OULESS, R.A. "'Tis a fine work!" says BOB to 'ARRY. "O'
+course," returns 'ARRY JOKER. "Great! _'Ow less_ could be expected of
+'im tho', I dun no." It represents an undecided moment in Mr. ALBERT
+BRASSEY'S life. It is as if he were Mr. "_All but_" BRASSEY,
+and wasn't quite certain of what he should do next. There is the
+writing-desk,--shall he indite a letter? If he does so, shall he
+take off his thick-fur coat? Or shall he go hunting, since he has on,
+underneath the furrin' fur, the pink of hunting perfection? Likewise
+he has his whip and his horn, also his boots! He's "got 'em on!" He's
+"got 'em _all_ on!" Or shall he hail the 5,000-ton yacht that's lying
+in the roads just a few yards from his open window, and go out for a
+cruise? He looks happy, but puzzled.
+
+[Illustration: No. 543. _The_ Picture of the Year. Lamp-light reading;
+or, Mr. Punch among the Pretty Pets. "_Dulce est dissipere in joco_."
+H. H. La Thangue.]
+
+No. 167. _The Right Hon. H. H. Fowler, M.P._ "Presentation Portrait,"
+painted by ARTHUR S. COPE. "When the Right Hon. Gentleman rose to
+speak, the House, with the exception of a clerk at the table and
+two small boys (whose presence within the precincts has never been
+satisfactorily accounted for) was empty."--_Extract from The Imaginary
+Times Parliamentary Report of that date._
+
+No. 350. _Mrs. Keeley at the age of Eighty-six._ Looking so well and
+sprightly, that the Artist must have been at considerable pains to
+induce her to sit still just one moment for her portrait. Long may she
+remain with us! Our compliments to the Artist, JULIA B. FOLKARD.
+
+No. 434. Mr. SOMERSCALES has given us the best sea-piece of the year.
+It shows a "_Corvette shortening sail to pick up a shipwrecked crew_."
+"A sale in sight appeared!"--and as the picture, so it is said, was
+immediately sold, so also were those who came too late to make a bid.
+
+No. 524. _Gentleman writing._ "A nice quiet corner for a little
+composition away from all those speaking likenesses." J. W. FORSTER.
+
+No. 533. This is a sad-looking little girl, painted by WILLIAM CARTER.
+She has an unsettled expression. Is she suffering from what the Clown
+calls "teezy-weezies-in-the-pandenoodles," and, as Sir JOHN MILLAIS'S
+"_Bubbles_" served P**RS for an advertisement, is it beyond the range
+of probability that this, being associated with the name of "CARTER,"
+should be intended as a pictorial advertisement for the well-known
+"L-ttle L-v-r P-lls"?
+
+No. 535. Portrait (presumably) of _C. R. Fletcher Lutwidge, Esq._ By
+ST. GEORGE HARE. Ha! Ha! Ha! By St. George you Ha're bound to laugh
+directly you look at it. You can't help it. "C. R. F. L." is chuckling
+to himself and saying, "Ha! Ha! I've just thought of _such_ a funny
+thing! Ha! Ha! Ha!" And he _is_ enjoying it so! As the song says, "O
+Mister (I forget the name), what a funny little man you are!"
+
+No. 553. This, by Mr. MARKHAM SKIPWORTH, is a portrait of _Dr. E. Ker
+Gray, LL.D_ of St. George's Chapel, Mayfair. "KER GRAY!" it ought to
+be "Ker Scarlet."
+
+No. 862. _Portrait of a Gentleman_, by PHIL R. MORRIS, A. The
+Portrait, annoyed at being next to SIDNEY COOPER'S, R A., "_Be it ever
+so humble, &c._," representing head of a jackass, and some sheepish
+sheep, is evidently saying to itself, "Hang the Hanging Committee!
+They show me as next door to a donkey."
+
+No. 888. _The Wedding Gifts._ The pretty Bride is a bit frightened at
+seeing the Groom leading up two bare-back'd steeds. "Oh!" she cries,
+"I can't ride _them_! Why (_to her husband_) did you give me these?"
+"My dear," says he, "why not? Here are the bare-backed steeds, and
+you've already got the Ring." S. E. WALLER.
+
+No. 892. "_Your Health!_" A Birthday Party at Mr. ERNEST HART'S.
+Painted by S. J. SOLOMON. As a subject, the wisdom of SOLOMON is
+questionable as a specimen of Hacademie Hart--ahem! However, to the
+toast of "_Your Health_!" as addressed to Mr. ERNEST HART, Master SOL
+might have added the words, "_Most Ernestly and Hartily_."
+
+No. 928. _Exhibition of Miss Biffin_, "who has no legs to speak of."
+"If you saw my ancles," said _Miss Mowcher_, "I should go home and
+kill myself." But ARTHUR HACKER, whose capital work it is, calls it
+"_Circe_."
+
+No. 937. "_It might have been_," by F. STUART SINDICI, represents
+NAPOLEON and WELLINGTON out walking together, in 1847, near the Horse
+Guards. "It might have been" _if_ .... But it wasn't--though F. STUART
+SINDICI went nap on it, and dreamt it. Why shouldn't JULIUS CAESAR and
+Lord BROUGHAM have hobnobbed together over Pommery '74 at FRASCATI'S
+in Regent Street, or why shouldn't the Great Duke of MARLBOROUGH and
+Admiral HAMILCAR of Carthage, after leaving _Hoi Adelphoi_ at the
+theatre, have taken supper at RULE'S in Maiden Lane? Why not? "It
+might have been"--of course; why, when you come to think of it,
+there's hardly anything that mightn't have been, _if_ it had only
+taken place. Such possible subjects would fill the most vast picture
+gallery in the _Chateau d'If_.
+
+[Illustration: An Artist's work "on the Line."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: PICK OF THE PICTURES.
+
+(_New Gallery, Regent Street. Summary of Sixth Summer Exhibition._)]
+
+[Illustration: No. 40. The Bather Bothered. Appropriately painted by
+Mr. Waterhouse, R.A. "Why," exclaims the horrified nymph, "he's lying
+on my clothes!"]
+
+[Illustration: No. 216. Night-Mares. Neptune's Horses, but more
+suggestive of Night Mares. Walter Crane.]
+
+[Illustration: No. 22. "Mr. G." in Churchwarden Church. "Here endeth
+the Second Reading." Sydney P. Hall.]
+
+[Illustration: No. 195. Hurried Moments! An Elopement!! "Never mind
+your things!" he shouted, at the same time that, catching her up and
+holding her in his strong right arm, he started off at a fast run.
+"Better to lose your clothes than miss your train!" C. W. Mitchell.]
+
+[Illustration: No. 27. Posed and Painful! Standing for her photograph,
+and feels that the head-rest is no rest for the head. J. J. Shannon.]
+
+[Illustration: No. 96. The Haunted Glen; or, The Bird-nesting
+Trespasser Conscience-struck. "Oh! I'll pretend I don't see them!"
+Hon. John Collier.]
+
+[Illustration: No. 92. "'Fling' Defiance!" Professor Herkomer's
+Heel-and-toe lads, "Jock and Charlie," back themselves against (No.
+108) Mr. Alfred Hartley's "Harry and Neil,'" sons of Lord Rosebery,
+attired as they are for a reel or a fling, or any form of National
+Sc(h)ottische dance.]
+
+PICK OF THE PICTURES.
+
+(_New Gallery--continued._)
+
+No. 11. "_Her First Ball_;" or, "_Train 'em up in the way she should
+bowl_." Portrait of little girl preparing to be a Lady-Cricketer. She
+has the ball in her hands, and is only waiting to cry out "Play!" G.
+P. JACOMB-HOOD.
+
+
+No. 15. _Charming Picture of Nobody Nowhere_, Miss ANNA ALMA-TADEMA.
+
+No. 20. _Portrait of W. Matthew Hale, Esq._ By JOHN PARKER. "All
+Hale!"
+
+No. 37. "_Silver Mist._" This ought to have been the picture of a
+gentleman in search of a threepenny piece; but it isn't. FRED HALL.
+
+No. 66. _The Departing Guest._ E. BURNE-JONES.
+
+  The ending of the party see,
+  "O let us get a cab for thee!"
+  "Nay," quoth the guest, "I've wings! so I,
+  Like to the trout, will take a fly."
+
+No. 112. _Alderman J. Stone-Wigg._ First Mayor of Tunbridge Wells.
+
+  Indeed you look an Alderman,
+  'Tis true I've seen a balder man.
+  "J. STONE-WIGG" is the name I see,
+  Which "Lost or Stolen-Wig" should be.
+
+No. 160. _Portrait of Lady Simpson. Bravo_, Mr. VAL PRINSEP, A.R.A.
+Uncommonly good. A parody of the old song should have been selected by
+the Artist as a motto for the picture:--
+
+  Lady SIMPSON has a dog--
+    I don't know its name--
+  Pretty tail has dog, _incog._
+    Ribands round the same.
+
+No. 170. "_The Spirit of Life._" By ARCHIE MACGREGOR. "Eh, ARCHIE
+mon! aiblins, 'tis just the whusky-still the Leddie's at, takin' a wee
+drappit i' the 'ee. And why did ye nae ca' it, 'Still Life'"?
+
+No. 177. _Portrait of Mrs. George Lewis._ Excellent, Mr.
+Colour-SARGENT! N.B.--Very few "Sergeants" left; but Mr. GEORGE LEWIS
+has secured the best of them to paint this portrait.
+
+No. 194. Very charming is "_The Closing of an October Day._" By GEORGE
+H. BROUGHTON, A.R.A. He has caught the "Early Closing Movement" to the
+life.
+
+No. 242. "_In the Grip of the Sea-Wolf_"; or, "_Early Bathing at
+Boulogne_." E. M. HALE.
+
+No. 324. And a good Judge too! _Portrait of Sir Douglas Straight._ The
+DOUGLAS, "bearded in his den"! Quarter (Sessions) Length. Sad end to a
+distinguished career to be "quartered, drawn, and hung"! Congratulate
+Artist, Miss VERA CHRISTIE, on good likeness.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: EVOLUTION EXTRAORDINARY.
+
+_British Tourist_ (_who has been served with a Pig's foot_). "WHAT'S
+THIS? I ORDERED QUAIL!"
+
+_Negro Waiter._ "WALL--Y'EV GOT QUAIL!"
+
+_British Tourist_. "QUAIL! WHY A QUAIL'S A BIRD!"
+
+_Negro Waiter._ "NOT HERE!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Anti-Epidemic Treatment.
+
+(_Being Summary of Robson Roosetem Pasha's Article in New Review._)
+
+    Boil Bacillus,
+    Or he'll kill us.
+  From Filter filthy grown
+    Don't drink water,
+    Save rates per quarter,
+  And so "Leave _well_ alone."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+COMPANION WORKS.--Shortly to appear: _My Wife's Bodice_. By the Author
+of _His Wife's Soul_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+TO MY UMBRELLA.
+
+  Good, faithful friend, it seems an age
+    Since last we met and walked together!
+  Upon the _Daily Graphic's_ page
+    For weeks I've watched the coming weather;
+
+  The meteorologic girl,
+    Despite cold arms, seemed almost jolly,
+  And made no effort to unfurl
+    That wonderful archaic brolly.
+
+  So I, grown reckless, did as she.
+    And gave you quite a Long Vacation;
+  Such weather cannot always be,
+    Or you would lose your occupation.
+
+  Think how I've treated you! A pet
+    Might envy all the care I gave you;
+  When worn-out with work and wet,
+    Think how I did my best to save you!
+
+  You soon looked well, and eased my fears--
+    Recovered after over-pressure.
+  When you "took silk" in other years,
+    Think what I paid for each "refresher"!
+
+  When last it rained I had to roll
+    You up quite wet; you've been forgotten.
+  It rains once more. What's this? A hole?
+    By Jove, the silk's completely rotten!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+THE STAGE-COACH FIASCO.--The Meet, which was ordered for 11:30 last
+Thursday, wasn't done, and so there was no Lunch.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+ON THE INCOME-TAX.
+
+[By an already over-burdened tax-payer who derived neither
+enlightenment nor comfort from the wordy war about a "Graduated
+Income-Tax" between Mr. BARTLEY and Sir WILLIAM HARCOURT.]
+
+    "Graduation" seems vexation,
+    "Differentiation" looks as bad.
+          Their the-o-rie
+          It puzzles me.
+  But their _practice_ drives me mad!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"THAT'S SWEAR IT IS!"--In bygone days, when the Princess's was under
+the management of Mr. and Mrs. CHARLES KEAN, there was a fine imposed
+on any member of the company who should make use of bad language
+in the Green-Room. One evening a distinguished actor so far forgot
+himself as to let slip an expletive of three simple letters, whereat
+Mrs. KEAN held up her hands in horror and quitted the room, followed
+by the actresses who happened to be present. Subsequently some wag at
+the Garrick Club wrote a song whereof the burden was "The Man who said
+'dam' in the Green-Room." _Tempora mutantur_, and now, at the Avenue
+Theatre, under the management of Mr. and Mrs. KENDAL in the Green-Room
+and behind the scenes, as well as on the stage, "DAM" will be in
+everyone's mouth, as this happens to be the name of the Author of
+their latest successful production.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+THE NEWEST TALE OF A TUB.
+
+(_By a Sufferer from the Modern Laundry System._)
+
+          Rub-a-rub-rub!
+          Three ghouls at a tub:
+  Our shirts and our collars they savagely scrub.
+          The fronts they make bagged,
+          The wristbands quite jagged,
+  And send home our linen all rotten and ragged!
+
+          Scrub-a-scrub-scrub!
+          Three fiends at a tub:
+  In chemical bleachings they dabble and grub.
+          Our shirts each bespatters
+          Then brush them to tatters.
+  The wearers get mad as March hares or as hatters!
+
+          Rub-a-scrub-scrub!
+          Three hags at a tub:
+  They scrape with a wire-brush, and pound with a club!
+          Smash buttons, burst stitches,
+          And--swell Laundry riches!
+  _Who'll save us from this cauldron-tub's dread Three Witches?_
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The Stock Exchange, _Mr. Punch_ understands, has gone into politics.
+With a view to test the knowledge of the brokers who "proceshed" to
+the Guildhall, he asks them,--What is the Commission upon Evicted
+Tenants? All sellers, no buyers.
+
+
+
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+
+Transcriber's Note:
+
+Sundry broken punctuation has been corrected.
+
+
+
+***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI, VOL.
+104, MAY 13, 1893***
+
+
+******* This file should be named 26708.txt or 26708.zip *******
+
+
+This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
+https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/6/7/0/26708
+
+
+
+Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
+will be renamed.
+
+Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
+one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
+(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
+permission and without paying copyright royalties.  Special rules,
+set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
+copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to
+protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark.  Project
+Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you
+charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission.  If you
+do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the
+rules is very easy.  You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose
+such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and
+research.  They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do
+practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks.  Redistribution is
+subject to the trademark license, especially commercial
+redistribution.
+
+
+
+*** START: FULL LICENSE ***
+
+THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
+PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
+
+To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
+distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
+(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at
+https://www.gutenberg.org/license).
+
+
+Section 1.  General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic works
+
+1.A.  By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
+and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
+(trademark/copyright) agreement.  If you do not agree to abide by all
+the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy
+all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession.
+If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the
+terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or
+entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.
+
+1.B.  "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark.  It may only be
+used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
+agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement.  There are a few
+things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
+even without complying with the full terms of this agreement.  See
+paragraph 1.C below.  There are a lot of things you can do with Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement
+and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.  See paragraph 1.E below.
+
+1.C.  The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation"
+or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works.  Nearly all the individual works in the
+collection are in the public domain in the United States.  If an
+individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are
+located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from
+copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative
+works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg
+are removed.  Of course, we hope that you will support the Project
+Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by
+freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of
+this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with
+the work.  You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by
+keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others.
+
+1.D.  The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
+what you can do with this work.  Copyright laws in most countries are in
+a constant state of change.  If you are outside the United States, check
+the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement
+before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or
+creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project
+Gutenberg-tm work.  The Foundation makes no representations concerning
+the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United
+States.
+
+1.E.  Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
+
+1.E.1.  The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate
+access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently
+whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the
+phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed,
+copied or distributed:
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+1.E.2.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived
+from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is
+posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied
+and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees
+or charges.  If you are redistributing or providing access to a work
+with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the
+work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1
+through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the
+Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or
+1.E.9.
+
+1.E.3.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
+with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
+must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional
+terms imposed by the copyright holder.  Additional terms will be linked
+to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the
+permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.
+
+1.E.4.  Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
+work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.
+
+1.E.5.  Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
+electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
+prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
+active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm License.
+
+1.E.6.  You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
+compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any
+word processing or hypertext form.  However, if you provide access to or
+distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than
+"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version
+posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org),
+you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a
+copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon
+request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other
+form.  Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
+
+1.E.7.  Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
+performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
+unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
+
+1.E.8.  You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
+access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided
+that
+
+- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
+     the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
+     you already use to calculate your applicable taxes.  The fee is
+     owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he
+     has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the
+     Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.  Royalty payments
+     must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you
+     prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax
+     returns.  Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and
+     sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the
+     address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to
+     the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."
+
+- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
+     you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
+     does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+     License.  You must require such a user to return or
+     destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium
+     and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of
+     Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any
+     money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
+     electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days
+     of receipt of the work.
+
+- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
+     distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+1.E.9.  If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set
+forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from
+both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael
+Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark.  Contact the
+Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.
+
+1.F.
+
+1.F.1.  Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
+effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
+public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm
+collection.  Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain
+"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or
+corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual
+property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a
+computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by
+your equipment.
+
+1.F.2.  LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right
+of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
+liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
+fees.  YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
+LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
+PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3.  YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
+TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
+LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
+INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
+DAMAGE.
+
+1.F.3.  LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
+defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
+receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
+written explanation to the person you received the work from.  If you
+received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with
+your written explanation.  The person or entity that provided you with
+the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a
+refund.  If you received the work electronically, the person or entity
+providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to
+receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund.  If the second copy
+is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further
+opportunities to fix the problem.
+
+1.F.4.  Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
+in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO OTHER
+WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
+WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
+
+1.F.5.  Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
+warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages.
+If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the
+law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be
+interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by
+the applicable state law.  The invalidity or unenforceability of any
+provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.
+
+1.F.6.  INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
+trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
+providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance
+with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production,
+promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works,
+harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees,
+that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do
+or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm
+work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any
+Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause.
+
+
+Section  2.  Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
+electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers
+including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers.  It exists
+because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from
+people in all walks of life.
+
+Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
+assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's
+goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
+remain freely available for generations to come.  In 2001, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
+and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations.
+To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
+and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4
+and the Foundation web page at https://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/pglaf.
+
+
+Section 3.  Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive
+Foundation
+
+The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
+501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
+state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
+Revenue Service.  The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification
+number is 64-6221541.  Contributions to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent
+permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.
+
+The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S.
+Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered
+throughout numerous locations.  Its business office is located at
+809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email
+business@pglaf.org.  Email contact links and up to date contact
+information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official
+page at https://www.gutenberg.org/about/contact
+
+For additional contact information:
+     Dr. Gregory B. Newby
+     Chief Executive and Director
+     gbnewby@pglaf.org
+
+Section 4.  Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
+spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
+increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
+freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
+array of equipment including outdated equipment.  Many small donations
+($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
+status with the IRS.
+
+The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
+charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
+States.  Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
+considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
+with these requirements.  We do not solicit donations in locations
+where we have not received written confirmation of compliance.  To
+SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any
+particular state visit https://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/donate
+
+While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
+have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
+against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
+approach us with offers to donate.
+
+International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
+any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
+outside the United States.  U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
+
+Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
+methods and addresses.  Donations are accepted in a number of other
+ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations.
+To donate, please visit:
+https://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/donate
+
+
+Section 5.  General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.
+
+Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm
+concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared
+with anyone.  For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project
+Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
+editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S.
+unless a copyright notice is included.  Thus, we do not necessarily
+keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.
+
+Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility:
+
+     https://www.gutenberg.org
+
+This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
+including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
+Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
+subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.
+
diff --git a/26708.zip b/26708.zip
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..e6bc460
--- /dev/null
+++ b/26708.zip
diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..6312041
--- /dev/null
+++ b/LICENSE.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,11 @@
+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
+Procedures for determining public domain status are described in
+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
+
+No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in
+jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize
+this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright
+status under the laws that apply to them.
diff --git a/README.md b/README.md
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..325fd02
--- /dev/null
+++ b/README.md
@@ -0,0 +1,2 @@
+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #26708 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/26708)