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diff --git a/26379.txt b/26379.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f1809c1 --- /dev/null +++ b/26379.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1473 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Vice in its Proper Shape, by Anonymous + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Vice in its Proper Shape + Or, The Wonderful and Melancholy Transformation of Several + Naughty Masters and Misses Into Those Contemptible Animals + Which They Most Resemble In Disposition. + +Author: Anonymous + +Release Date: August 20, 2008 [EBook #26379] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK VICE IN ITS PROPER SHAPE *** + + + + +Produced by Mark C. Orton and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + + + + + +[Illustration: FRONTISPIECE.] + + + +VICE +IN ITS +PROPER SHAPE; +OR, THE +Wonderful and Melancholy +TRANSFORMATION +OF SEVERAL +NAUGHTY MASTERS AND MISSES +INTO THOSE +Contemptible ANIMALS which they most +resemble in Disposition. + + +Printed for the Benefit of all GOOD BOYS +and GIRLS. + + + +THE FIRST _WORCESTER_ EDITION. + +PRINTED at WORCESTER, _Massachusetts_, +BY ISAIAH THOMAS, +Sold at his BOOKSTORE, and by THOMAS +and ANDREWS in BOSTON. + +MDCCLXXXIX. + + + + +INTRODUCTION. + + +It was the opinion of the wise _Pythagoras_, and of some other +philosophers, that the souls of men, women, and children, after their +death, are sent into other human bodies, and sometimes into those of +beasts and birds, or even insects; and that they hereby change their +residence either to their advantage or disadvantage, according to their +good or ill behaviour in their preceding state of existence. This +singular opinion still prevails in some part of the Eastindies; and +that to such a degree that they make it criminal to put any animal to +death: "For how do you know, say they, but in killing a sheep, a bird, +or a fish, you murder your father, or your brother, or some other +deceased friend or relation, whose soul may inhabit the body of the +animal you so wantonly destroy?" An officer in the service of the +Eastindia Company, and a particular friend of mine, had like to have +lost his life by not paying a proper deference to this whimsical +notion; for being some time in that part of the country, and happening +to shoot a heron, he was immediately arrested and prosecuted for it by +one of the natives. The man insisted that the heron was inhabited by +the soul of his father; and supported his point so much to the +satisfaction of the court, that had it not been for the friendly +assistance of a Jew, who appeared as the captain's advocate, he would +certainly have been condemned. The Jew, allowed that what the plaintiff +had asserted was strictly true, but pleaded in behalf of his client, +that the soul of his, the said client's grandmother, resided in the +body of a fish, which the said client had often seen and knew perfectly +well; and that at the time when the heron was killed, the said heron +was going to dart upon the said fish to devour it; so that the said +client being strongly moved thereunto by his natural affection, +instantly shot the said heron purely to save the life of his +grandmother. This plea was admitted, and the captain was immediately +discharged by order of the court. It is well for the reader that the +captain escaped as he did: for if he had been hanged for murdering the +heron, it is more than probable that it would have been out of his +power to have returned to England with that curious little treatise +which I have now taken the pains to translate into English for the +amusement of the little masters and misses of Great Britain. + +It contains a diverting account of several naughty boys and girls, who, +after their death (which was generally owing to their own folly) were +degraded into such animals as they most resembled when alive. I cannot +pretend to say who was the author; for his modesty was so great, that +he has not inserted his name in the title page. + +The captain tells me, it is the opinion of some of the Indian criticks, +that he was an academy-keeper, who wrote for the instruction of his +scholars; and of others, that he was a fond father who wrote for the +entertainment of his children; but as it is very possible that both of +them may be mistaken, I shall not presume to decide which of them have +been so fortunate as to discover the truth in a matter of such evident +importance. + +I have only to observe, that as long proper names (such as those of the +Indians) would have been too crabbed for most of my little readers, I +have put myself to the amazing trouble of substituting English names in +their room, which are expressive of the characters of the persons to +whom they are applied. After humbly begging the author's pardon, for +taking this liberty with his ingenious performance, I must desire all +the masters and misses who read my translation of it, to be extremely +careful to avoid all the crimes and follies which it was intended to +correct; otherwise, if my friend the captain (who will probably hear of +their ill behaviour) should happen to speak of it, when he makes +another voyage to India, and it should by any means reach the ear of my +author, we may perhaps have a second volume, containing a mortifying +account of the surprising and lamentable transmigrations of some of the +naughty boys and girls in England. + + + + +CHAP. I. + +_Of the wonderful Transmigration of_ Jack Idle _into the body of an +ass_. + + +One morning after breakfast I took a walk into the fields with my seven +dear children; which I did, not only for the benefit of their health, +but as a reward for their good behaviour. They always obey me and their +affectionate mother with the utmost cheerfulness; and I, in return, am +always ready to indulge them as far as my duty and their interest will +permit. When we had travelled about three miles from the city, where +Divine Providence has fixed our abode, we came to a range of little +tenements, or I should rather have called them sheds, over the midst of +which (and it was likewise the largest) was fixed a board, on which was +written in lofty capitals WAL*KINBEHOL*DANDLE*ARN,[1] which signifies, +_Walk in_, _behold_, _and learn_. While I was musing upon this strange +inscription, and wondering what curiosities there could be in such +contemptible little huts, the door of the middlemost was suddenly +opened by a Bramin, who with the greatest politeness and affability, +desired us to walk in, assuring me, that notwithstanding the mean +appearance of his little tenements, there were several things to be +seen in them, which might contribute to the entertainment and +instruction of my pretty fellow travellers. "I am, said he, as you may +perceive by my habit, a Bramin, and my name is _Wiseman_. All the time +I can spare from the worship of my Maker, and the contemplation of that +astonishing wisdom and beneficence which he has displayed in his works +of creation and providence, I cheerfully devote to the service of my +fellow mortals, and particularly of the younger and unexperienced part +of them. The most valuable service I can render them is to conduct them +into the paths of virtue and discretion. For this purpose, having been +gifted with the faculty of distinguishing those animals which are now +animated by the souls of such human beings as formerly degraded +themselves to a level with the unthinking brutes, I have taken the +pains to provide a collection of beasts, birds, &c. most of which are +inhabited by the souls of some naughty masters or misses, who died in +the neighbourhood, and it is possible were not unknown to your little +companions. It was a proverb among the ancient Bramins, that _Example +is more powerful than precept_, and it is the common language of +mankind to this day, _I understand what I hear, but I believe what I +see_. It would not be amiss therefore, if you were to accompany the +young gentlemen and ladies into my little appartments, that they may be +eye witnesses to the mortifying consequences of an ill spent and +vicious life, even to those who have not arrived at the age of +manhood." + + [1] The captain informs that this inscription is in the language + of the ancient _Bramins_. + +We accepted the offer with the utmost gratitude, and eagerly inquired +what we had to pay for admittance. But the good Bramin assured us, that +he never made a traffick of the little wisdom he had to communicate, +and that the most acceptable recompense we could make him, was, to +bestow what we could prudently spare upon such real objects of charity +as might afterwards fall in our way:--"For mercy and benevolence, said +he, are the darling attributes of heaven, and those who are most +distinguished for the practice of them, bear the nearest resemblance to +their Maker, and will therefore receive the largest portion of his +favour both in this world, and in that which is to come." + +The first room we were conducted into was the habitation of a little +ass, who, as soon as we entered the place, began to bray, and kick up +his heels, at a most violent rate; but, upon the appearance of Mr. +Wiseman (which I have before observed was the Bramin's name) he thought +proper to compose himself, and stood as quiet as a lamb.--"This +stubborn little beast said our kind conductor, is now animated by the +soul of the late master _Idle_. In his life-time he possessed all the +bad properties of the animal you see before you; so that, to speak the +truth, he now appears in his proper shape. His rough coat of hair is a +very suitable emblem of the ruggedness of his disposition; and his long +and clumsy ears not only denotes his stupidity, but, as they afford a +very secure and convenient hold to any one who has occasion to catch +him when he runs loose in the fields, they sufficiently intimate that +he was always open to the ill advice of his play-fellows. If the +meanest and most dirty boy in the neighbourhood was in want of a +companion, or rather a tool, to assist him in his mischievous pranks, +he had nothing to do but to make his application to _Jack Idle_; for +foolish Jack (as they truly called him) was at the beck of every +mischievous rogue; and when the mischief was done, he was always left, +like a stupid ass as he was, to bear the burden of it. His father had +money; and Jack's great pride was to be complimented by his raggamuffin +companions as the cook of the game. Once (I remember it perfectly well) +three bargemen's boys having a violent inclination to plunder a pippin +tree, which was the property of farmer _Crusty_, they gave master Jacky +such a tempting account of the wish'd for prize, and held forth so +liberally in praise of his courage and ingenuity, that they prevailed +upon him to be not only a party, but the commander in chief in this +hopeful enterprize. But, as such adventures generally terminate in the +most mortifying disappointment, the young plunderers were discovered by +the farmer before they had gathered half their booty. The three +tarpaulins being at the bottom of the tree made their escape without +much difficulty; but Jack, who, to support the dignity of his new +command, had ascended almost to the top, was unfortunately taken +prisoner. The consequence was, that his father (who had to deal with a +wretch who was as crusty by nature as he was by name) after being +obliged to pay ten times the value of the fruit, conducted his son to +Mr. _Sharp_, the gentleman who had the trouble of his education, from +whom he received a severe flogging in the presence of all his school +fellows, as a very suitable reward of his stupid ambition. From this +account of him you will naturally conclude that he was no great friend +to learning; and, indeed, so remarkable was his aversion to the useful +arts of reading and writing, that his greatest improvement amounted +only to an indifferent knowledge of the alphabet, and the poor +accomplishment of being just able to scrawl his own name in characters +which were scarcely legible. He was equally distinguished for his speed +and fidelity when his parents sent him on an errand; for he could +hardly make shift to saunter a mile in an hour, and when he arrived at +the place of his destination, he usually forgot three fourths of his +message, and endeavoured to supply the defect by some blundering tale +of his own invention. He was once dispatched by his father, in great +haste, to a gentleman who lived not a quarter of a mile off, to request +the favour of his company, in half an hour's time, to settle matters +with a grazer, of whom they had purchased several head of cattle; when +Jack arrived at the gentleman's house, which he actually did in the +short space of an hour and a half, he rubbed his eyes, and scratched +his head, and informed him that his father wanted him sadly, and that +he must come directly to speak with the _brazier_, who, he said, had +waited for him above two hours. It was very happy for his parents +(whether they thought so or not) that Jack's sudden exit out of the +world, in the thirteenth year of his age, effectually prevented him +from bringing any material disgrace upon his family; which he certainly +would have done, if he had lived to be his own master. The occasion of +his death was as follows:--One morning, instead of making the best of +his way to school, (which he was constantly ordered to do) happening +very luckily to be overtaken by _Tom Sharper_, and _Dick Lackwit_, they +prudently agreed to avoid the intolerable drudgery of the hornbook, by +playing truant and indulging themselves in the profitable diversions of +sitting all day on the bank of a lonesome brook to fish for minows; +they had pretty good sport, as they called it, for the first hour; but +then Mr. _Sharper's_ line happening to be entangled among some large +weeds, from which he could not disengage it as he stood upon the brink; +and as he was naturally too great an adept in the science of self +preservation, to expose himself to danger, when he could persuade +another to supply his place; he requested the favour of master _Idle_ +to ascend a sloping tree which stood upon the bank, and from thence to +descend gradually upon a hanging branch, the small end of which almost +touched his line. Poor Jack was somewhat unwilling to venture upon the +experiment; but a little more persuasion, which was supported by a few +surly menaces, soon vanquished every objection. He accordingly ascended +the tree; but when he attempted to seat himself upon the hanging branch +the small twigs, upon which he stupidly fastened his hold for that +purpose, suddenly gave way, and down he plunged into the middle of the +brook, where, after many eager and ineffectual struggles to recover the +bank, he sunk to the bottom, and rose no more. The last words he spoke +were, _Oh! my dear father! my dear mother! I wish I had_--He meant I +suppose, that he wished he had followed their good advice; but the +water, which ran very fast into his mouth, suddenly stopped his speech, +and nothing more was heard but a faint bubbling in his throat, and two +or three desperate plunges at the bottom of the water, to preserve that +life which fell a melancholy sacrifice to his own folly and +disobedience!--One would think that such a shocking catastrophe would +be sufficient to subdue ten times the stubbornness and stupidity for +which master _Idle_ was so remarkable: But as we are too apt to forget +the eager promises, and laugh at the self condemning reflections, which +we have made in the hour of distress, I need not mention it as a +prodigy, that the soul by which this little beast is animated, is still +infected with the same vicious disposition, which disgraced and +punished it, when it occupied the body of _Jack Idle_." + +To convince us of the truth of what he said, the good Bramin addressed +himself to the ass before us, and assured him that if he was sincerely +inclined to behave as he ought to do, and forsake the follies he had +been guilty of in his former state of existence, he should again have +the honour to ascend to the rank of human beings. But the stubborn +little animal (who perfectly understood what he said) first leered at +him with the most stupid resentment in the world, and then fell a +braying and kicking with greater violence than when we first entered +the room. "Soho! said Mr. Wiseman, is that your manners, my boy;"--and +then giving him two or three hearty strokes, "well, well, said he, if +this is all the return I am to have for my generous care of you, I will +certainly sell you to the first sandman I see, who will bestow upon you +plenty of drubbing, plenty of fasting, and (what you will relish the +worst of all) a never failing plenty of work." + + + + +CHAP. II. + +_An Account of the surprizing Transmigration of Master_ ANTHONY +GREEDYGUTS, _into the Body of a Pig_. + + +The next room into which we were conducted, contained a fat little pig, +who, as soon as we had entered the door, began to cry _a week_, _a +week_, _a week_, in such a squeaking tone as grated our ears in the +most disagreeable manner: but as soon as Mr. _Wiseman_ produced his +wand, he lowered his pipes to a few sulky grunts, and then became as +still as a mouse.--"This young pig, said the venerable Bramin, is now +animated by the soul of the late master _Greedyguts_, who died about +two months ago, and has left a number of relations behind him in almost +every town you can mention. Poor foolish youth, if he had been less +fond of his belly, and more attentive to his book, and to the good +advice of his parents, his soul would not have been confined as it now +is, in the body of that nasty, greedy, and noisy little animal which +you see before you. But, to represent his character in its proper +colours, he was always a hoggish little fellow, and disdained every +other sort of labour but that of lifting his hand to his mouth. He +loved eating much better than reading; and would prefer a tart, a +custard, a plumcake, or even a slice of gingerbread, or an apple, to +the prettiest, and most useful little book you could present him with; +so that if his parents had purchased a hundred books for him, one after +the other, he would have readily parted with them to the first crafty +boy he met with, who had any trash to spare by way of exchange. It +cannot therefore be considered as a miracle, notwithstanding the +extraordinary care and expense which his friends bestowed upon his +education, that he always continued a blockhead, and was such a perfect +dunce at eleven years of age, that instead of being able to read and +write as a young gentleman ought to do, he could scarcely tell his +letters. He was equally remarkable for his selfishness; for if he had +twenty cheesecakes in his box, or his pockets full of oranges and +apples, he would sooner have given a tooth out of his head than have +parted with one of them, even to his own brother or sister. The +consequence was (and indeed what else could have been expected) that he +was despised and hated by all his play fellows, and distinguished by +the mortifying title of _Tony Pig_; an animal which he perfectly +resembled in his nastiness as well as greediness. For if he was dressed +in the morning as clean as hands could make him, he would, by running +into puddles and kennels, and rolling upon the ground, become as black +as a chimney sweeper before noon; and I sincerely believe that he +thought it as great a punishment to have his hair combed, or to wash +his hands and face, as to be whipped; for he would cry and struggle as +much to avoid the one as to escape the other. But, to ease his parents +of their heavy apprehensions upon his account, and to rid the world of +such a plague and disgrace, as he certainly would have been, if he had +lived to years of maturity, kind death was pleased to dispatch him in +the twelfth year of his age, by the help of a dozen penny custards, +which he greedily conveyed down his throat at one meal, and thereby +gorged his stomach, and threw himself into a mortal fever. After his +exit, his soul, as I have already informed you, was hurried into the +body of this little pig; a station which perfectly corresponds with his +disposition. Nay, so great is his stubbornness (which is another +hateful quality in which he resembled the animal before you) that his +punishment has not made the least alteration in his temper; for, if we +were to get his soul replaced into a human body, upon his promise of +immediate amendment, he will not submit even to make such a promise. To +convince you that I have not misrepresented his character, I'll try the +experiment immediately." Accordingly, the good Bramin asked him before +us all, if, upon the condition above-mentioned, he would leave off his +greedy and selfish behaviour. To this he condescended, though with a +visible reluctance, to grunt, _aye, aye_. "But how long will it be, +said Mr. Wiseman, before you perform your promise?" _A week, a week, a +week_, cried the pig. "And how long will it be before you lay aside +your nastiness, and maintain such a cleanly and decent appearance as +becomes a gentleman?" _A week, a week_, said the dirty creature. "And +how long will it be before you respect the good advice of your parents, +and prefer the improvement of your understanding to the gratification +of your appetite?" _A week, a week, a week_, replied the stubborn +little animal. "In short, said the worthy Bramin, if I were to repeat +the same questions to him a month, or even a year hence, I should not +prevail upon him to say _now_; but his constant answer would be, _a +week, a week, a week_. I believe, therefore, that instead of reforming +him (which is an event that would afford me the most sensible pleasure) +we shall at last be forced to roast and eat him; for, as long as he +continues in his present way of thinking, it is very certain that his +existence can be of no service either to himself, or any one else." +Thus, then, said he, I have troubled you with a particular account of +this stupid little pig; and I sincerely hope that the story will +prevail upon my young visitors to be cleanly in their appearance, +temperate in their diet, and kind and obliging to every body; for +whosoever pursues a contrary behaviour, is in reality a _hog_, though +he bears the name of a gentleman. + + + + +CHAP. III. + +_The Transmigration of Miss_ DOROTHY CHATTERFAST _into the Body of a +Magpie._ + + +In one corner of the room where poor _Tony Pig_ was confined, hung a +large cage, which was the prison of a pert young magpie. As soon as my +son _Jacky_ who was the youngest of the company, and remarkably fond of +birds, had saluted her by the well known appellation of _mag, poor +mag_; she wagged her tail with surprising agility, and began to chatter +in such an elevated tone, and with such a rapid pronunciation, that I +was heartily glad when the kind Bramin commanded silence. "The body of +this party coloured, loquacious bird, said he, is the involuntary +residence of the late Miss Dorothy Chatterfast; who was a most +notorious little gossip, and belonged to a family which is as numerous +as that of the _Greedyguts_. To do her justice, she was a handsome +little girl, and as brisk and notable as any young miss in her +neighbourhood. But to her own misfortune, and the unspeakable vexation +of most persons who came within the sphere of her observation, her +little tongue was as active as her hands. She learned to talk very +early, and so speedy was her improvement in the art of prattling, that, +before she was three years old, she could lisp out a tale in very +intelligible language. Her parents were so unwise as to encourage her +in this mischievous kind of ingenuity, not only from the pleasure they +took in hearing how fast she learned to speak, but because they +considered it as an infallible token that she would, in time, prove an +excellent wit and a notable manager. It is not, therefore, to be +wondered at, that she took a great deal of notice of every thing which +passed in the family, and particularly in the kitchen. If any of the +servants accidentally broke a teacup, or saucer, a glass, &c. or +received an unexpected visit from some of their acquaintance, or +relations, when her parents happened to be absent from home; she never +failed to inform them of it, the first opportunity, with many +aggravating circumstances of her own invention; for which they +generally complimented her, by way of reward, with the flattering +titles of _a good child_, _a sweet little dear_, and _a careful little +girl_. By this officious impertinence she frequently got the servants +reprimanded, and sometimes dismissed; so that by degrees they all began +to fear and hate her. She was equally attentive to every trifle which +happened at the school, where she was daily sent to learn the art of +reading, and the use of her needle; for the moment she came home, and +before she had well entered the parlour door, and made her courtesy, +her little tongue began to rattle like a mill clack."--"Mamma, said +she, Tommy Careless was flogged for tearing his book, Jackey Fidget +because he was a naughty boy and would not sit still, Polly +Giddybrains, for losing her needle and thread paper, and, Lord bless +me! my ma'am was so cross, that she was going to put the nasty fool's +cap on _my_ head, only for miscalling the first word in my +lesson."--"In short she was such a notorious telltale, that she was +soon dignified by her school fellows with the honourable appellation of +_Dolly Cagmag_. As she advanced in years, the habit grew upon her; and +when she was old enough to be introduced into company, and go a +visiting, she carried on the same mischievous and despicable trade +abroad, in which she had met with such encouragement at home. Whatever +she saw or heard in one place, she would be sure to report it in +another; so that all the masters and misses who had the mortification +to fall into her company, considered themselves as under the malicious +inspection of a meddlesome spy; which they had the more reason to do, +because she seldom failed to embellish her informations with the +recital of several unfavourable circumstances of her own invention." +"Indeed, Mr. Wiseman, said Betsey, my youngest daughter, what you have +told us is exactly true; for I have been in company with Miss +Chatterfast several times, and I remember once in particular that when +Master _Sprightly_, who was a merry young spark, had stolen a kiss from +Miss _Patty Sweetlips_, though the poor young lady blushed as red as +scarlet, and seemed to be greatly displeased at the freedom which had +been taken with her, Miss Chatterfast was so mischievous as to +represent her to all her acquaintance as a bold little hussey, who +loved to be kissed by the young gentlemen. When poor innocent Patty was +informed of the character which had been so unjustly fixed upon her, +she was ashamed to stir out of doors, and laid it so much to heart I +thought she would have cried her eyes out." "This was very unkind +indeed, replied the good Bramin; and yet, I sincerely believe that all +the mischief her tongue was guilty of, was more owing to her vanity and +that talkative humour in which she had always been encouraged from her +infancy, than to any real malice in her heart. She had been long +accustomed to speak without thinking, and naturally imagined that her +impertinent loquacity would be as much admired and applauded by other +people as by her thoughtless parents. I have the satisfaction, however, +to observe that you are perfectly sensible of her mistake, though she +had not the good fortune to be so herself. If she had lived much +longer, it is very probable that the many slights and affronts she must +necessarily have met with, would have opened her eyes: For those who by +their impertinent censures set the whole world at defiance, may +reasonably expect to find an enemy in every house they enter. But her +meddlesome, inquisitive disposition proved to be the accidental means +of shortening her days, before she had experience enough to correct it: +for, one evening, Mr. _Kindly_, a wealthy merchant, indulged all the +young masters and misses in the neighbourhood with a splendid ball at +his own house: Miss _Chatterfast_, though she had at that time a severe +cold upon her, was so desirous of embracing such a favourable +opportunity of making her remarks upon the behaviour and different +dresses of the company, and thereby furnishing herself with an ample +stock for conversation, that she could not be prevailed upon by her too +indulgent parents to spend the evening at home. The consequence was +such as might naturally have been expected. By first over heating +herself at the ball, and afterwards exposing herself to the night air +in her return home, her cold, (which was bad enough before) suddenly +increased into a violent fever which hurried her to the grave in the +short space of five or six days. Though her untimely death excited the +transient pity of most of her acquaintance, very few of them, I +believe, were really sorry to part with her. But notwithstanding that +violent propensity to exercise her tongue, which she too frequently +indulged to the vexation of her neighbours, she had a large fund of +good nature at the bottom; so that I am in hopes that she will soon be +restored to the rank of human beings, and have an opportunity of +employing her speaking faculties with greater discretion and in a more +agreeable manner than she did before. Her former loquacity (as I have +already observed) was almost entirely owing to that vanity and want of +thought, in which she had been too much encouraged by the simple +fondness of her parents; but the low station in which she now appears, +will probably teach her to be more humble and considerate, and of +consequence to check that talkative humour which in her past lifetime +formed the most remarkable part of her character." Poor mag (who, I +suppose, understood every word the Bramin said) wagged her tail a +little, as we left the room, but did not think proper to utter a single +chatter. + + + + +CHAP. IV. + +_The Transmigration of Master_ STEPHEN CHURL _into the Body of a little +Cur._ + + +In the next apartment we entered, we saw a little snarling cur, who +immediately saluted us with a surly grin, and barked and yelped as if +he would have torn the house down. He was indeed very securely chained +to a small kennel; but my daughter Betsey happening to venture too near +him, he snapped at her and tore her apron. "Take care, miss, said Mr. +Wiseman, and keep out of his reach; for though he is but a cur, he is +very mischievous. His body is the contemptible residence of the soul of +the late Master _Churl_. Poor miserable youth! he was a wrangler from +his infancy; and his litigious temper gave him as just a title to the +name of _Churl_ as his birth. Even when he was a child in arms, he was +such a peevish and noisy little brat, that his mamma could not find a +woman who would undertake the trouble of nursing him; and as soon as he +was able to speak and run alone, he began to wrangle with his brothers +and sisters, upon the most trifling occasions, and seldom forgot to +support his argument by exerting his little hands and heels with the +most malicious activity; so that to mortify his pride, and give a check +to his ill nature, they bestowed upon him the disgraceful title of +young _Kick and Cuff_. Poor Stephen, however bid defiance to all their +ridicule, and was so far from being reclaimed by it, that his +turbulence increased in proportion to his strength and stature. He was +afterwards as quarrelsome at school as he had been at home; and in +every party at taw, or trap ball, or any other innocent diversion in +which he happened to be engaged, he was always remarkable for +disturbing the game by his frivolous disputes: Nay, when he was only a +looker on, he would betray his wrangling impertinent temper, by calling +out, such a one does not play fairly; such a one counts too many; and +such a one goes in before his turn. The usual reward he received for +his trouble was, a handsome drubbing, sometimes from his master, but +more frequently from his school fellows. He was equally notorious for +his great forwardness to give a challenge, upon the slightest +provocation, and very often from mere wantonness; and sometimes he +would very unfairly begin an engagement without giving any previous +notice, that he might make sure of the first blow. But his strength and +skill being unequal to his pretensions, the many mortifying defeats he +received, soon taught him the despicable cunning of assaulting none but +those, who, he believed, were either too weak to contend with him, or +too cowardly to stand in their own defence. The speedy consequence of +such a dirty conduct was, that the bigger boys despised and laughed at +him, and those who were less than himself, carefully shunned his +company; so that at last poor wrangling Stephen, for want of +play-fellows, had no other diversion left for him, but to take a +solitary ramble through the fields. His parents being informed of the +disagreeable situation into which he had brought himself, and what a +shy reception he met with from all the boys in the neighbourhood, +thought it adviseable, after giving him a strict caution to behave in a +more peaceable manner for the future, to remove him to a genteel +boarding school, at a distance from home. If he had thought proper to +follow their advice, and make a diligent use of the excellent +instructions he received from his new teachers, he might afterwards +have cut a shining figure in the world; but, as what is bred in the +bone, seldom gets out of the flesh, so it fared with _Stephen Churl_. +Though he was a little reserved at first, as being entirely among +strangers, a short acquaintance with them made him very familiar--the +affability and good nature with which they listened to every thing he +said, soon encouraged him to be pert; and from pertness he proceeded to +open rudeness and ill manners--until at last happening to be very +mildly reprimanded by one of the young gentlemen, whose tenderness he +misconstrued into cowardice, he commenced hostilities, as usual, by +giving him an unexpected blow on the face. But his antagonist being +possessed of as much spirit as politeness, returned the compliment in +an instant; and conducted the engagement on his side with such vigour +and activity, that our hero soon retired from the field of battle +heartily drubbed, to make his complaint to the master, who, after a +minute inquiry into all the circumstances of the fray, thought proper +to reward him for the unnecessary trouble he had given himself, with +the severest flogging he had ever received in his life time. Thus +mortified and disgraced, the unfortunate _Stephen_ resolved upon an +elopement; but, being ashamed to return to his parents, he rambled +through the fields and woods, and scrambled over hedges and ditches, +until at length having torn his clothes to rags, and being almost ready +to perish with hunger, he eagerly listed himself into a gang of +gypsies, and supped very heartily upon the remains of a roasted cat. +The intolerable hardships he suffered, and the coarse fare he was +obliged to put up with in this new situation, together with the +frequent bangs and thumps which he received from the younger part of +his strolling comrades, who were as quarrelsome and mischievous as +himself, but abundantly more robust, soon broke his heart; so that he +died in a barn, and was buried, like a beggar, at the expense of a +little country parish." While the Bramin was concluding the history of +Master _Churl_, my son _Jackey_, whose temper was rather too fiery, +looked very sheepish; which his sister _Betsey_ observing, and easily +guessing the cause of it, she desired him with a good natured smile, +when we were leaving the room, to think on poor _Stephen_, and be sure +to take warning. + + + + +CHAP. V. + +_The comical and mortifying Transmigration of little Monsieur_ FRIBBLE +_into the Body of a Monkey._ + + +After we had taken our leave of Master _Churl_, we were conducted into +the apartment of Mr. _Pug_, a chattering young monkey, who, as soon as +he saw us whipt his little hat under his arm in a crack, and seating +himself upon his backside, welcomed each of us into the room by several +ceremonious nods, which were intended to supply the place of a bow, and +were accompanied by such a noisy affected grin, that it was impossible +for us to forbear laughing--"This contemptible animal, said Mr. +_Wiseman_, is inhabited by the little soul of the late Master _Billy +Fribble_, a young gentleman of French extraction, whose friends came +and settled in the country about fifty years ago. His play fellows +dignified him with the humorous title of _the little Monsieur_, not so +much on account of his diminutive stature, as for that trifling and +finical behaviour which distinguishes the least respectable, though, by +many thoughtless persons, the most admired part of the French nation. +As neither his bodily nor mental faculties were very vigorous, his +childhood was remarkable only for a certain effeminate vivacity, which +continually displayed itself in such a noisy and insignificant +prattling, as was very tiresome and disagreeable to every body in the +house. When he grew older, he added to his former loquacity the most +passionate fondness for fine clothes; so that in the twelfth year of +his age, he became as complete a top as ever eyes beheld. He wore upon +his head a macaroni hat about the size of a small tea saucer; his coat, +which scarcely had any skirts to it, was of the most glaring colour he +could fix upon; and his hair, which was plaistered over with powder and +pomatum, was tied behind in a large club, which hung swagging upon his +shoulders like a soldier's knapsack. Thus elegantly dressed, he +strutted along the streets with a large stick in his hand about a foot +taller than himself, and a small cutteau de chasse by his side, which +he could handle with as much dexterity as his pen; an instrument in the +use of which he had made such a contemptible proficiency, that it +required as much acuteness to discover the meaning of his aukward +scrawl, as to explain the hieroglyphick characters of the ancient +Egyptians. What still increased the obscurity of every thing which +Monsieur _Fribble_ undertook the trouble of penning, was that, +excepting when he wrote his own name, he had a method of spelling which +was peculiar to himself. He was equally famous for his skill in the +useful science of numbers; for though, during the space of seven or +eight years, he devoted to it a considerable part of that lingering +time which he was forced to spare from his private diversions in school +hours, the sum total of his improvement was, that he was scarcely +capable of casting up the contents of a shoemaker's little bill. His +highest ambition was, in the first place, to furnish himself with a +large collection of complimentary phrases, which he had seldom +discretion enough to apply with any tolerable propriety; and, in the +next, to complete himself in the polite art of dancing, in which he so +far succeeded as to be able to skip about with the most regular +agility, though he never had a sufficient share of good sense to be +able to dance with gracefulness. Thus accomplished, he excited the +admiration of every silly coquette, and the envy of every fluttering +coxcomb; but by all young gentlemen and ladies of understanding he was +heartily despised as a mere civilized monkey. He performed every thing +by imitation; and he imitated nothing (unless he was forcibly compelled +to it) by which a rational being may be distinguished from a brute +animal. But the species of imitation in which he most delighted, was +that which, in the vulgar style, is called _mocking_; for he was not +possessed of a sufficient stock of ingenuity to be (what he very +frequently attempted to be) a clever mimick. If any of his schoolmates +happened to be afflicted with an impediment in their speech, an +accidental lameness, or the like; he had the mean barbarity to +endeavour to aggravate the misfortune by a coarse imitation, which +generally turned the whole ridicule upon himself. He once had the +impudence to practise his mockery upon a worthy gentlemen in the +neighbourhood, who was so unfortunate as to be unable to speak without +stuttering. The gentleman happening to pass by Mr. _Fribble's_ door, at +which our little monsieur was then standing with a magpie in his hand." +"_Bi-bi-bill_, said the good man (after inquiring very civilly how he +did) has that pretty ma-ma-mag learned to ta-ta-talk?" "Ye-ye-yes, +replied the saucy fop, be-be-better than you do, or else I would wring +his head off." "This rude and impertinent answer, which at first +excited the laughter of some of the by-standers, soon gave them a very +mean opinion of him, and he was afterwards despised by every sensible +person, as a mischievous, unthinking coxcomb. What aggravated his +punishment was, that he had so frequently indulged himself in the +ungenerous and silly practice of mocking the imperfect pronunciation of +others, that at last he himself contracted such a habit of stuttering +as he could never leave off. This gave such a poor recommendation to +the nonsensical things he was continually saying, that he became the +object of ten times the ridicule which he had endeavoured to inflict +upon those who had a _natural_ impediment. What was pitied in them as a +misfortune, was despised in him as an ill-acquired and consequently a +vicious imperfection; and therefore every one was willing to increase +the mortifying smart of it, and keep alive the conscious shame he felt +of wearing a fool's cap which was entirely of his own making. This +vexatious, and in some degree, vindictive ridicule to which he was +daily exposed, and which, in time, he might have softened and disarmed +by an humble and penitent deportment, gave such an insupportable wound +to his foolish pride, that he soon absconded from company, and died of +a broken heart. That his soul might afterwards occupy such a station as +would be most suitable to his character, it was sentenced to inhabit +the body of that finical, grinning, and mischievous little mimick with +four legs, which you now behold before you." As soon as the Bramin had +finished his story, poor _pug_ (who seemed to retain all the little +pride of Monsieur _Fribble_) grinned, chattered, and skipped about with +a ridiculous resentment which was mingled with evident marks of fear; +until at last, having agitated himself into a perfect passion, he made +a hasty spring at his keeper, which, to his own abashment, and the +laughter of my young companions, was as suddenly checked by a small +chain that secured him to the floor. + + + + +CHAP. VI. + +_The dismal Transmigration of Master_ TOMMY FILCH _into the Body of a +Wolf._ + + +As soon as we had lifted up the latch to enter into the next apartment, +we were immediately alarmed by a horrid howling; which upon opening the +door we discovered to be the savage musick of a lusty young wolf, who +looked as fierce as if he would have torn every one of us to pieces. +But a strong chain confined his fury to one corner of the room; so that +we could venture pretty near him without any danger of feeling the +strength of his jaws. "This plundering and voracious animal, said the +Bramin, who has been accustomed to gratify his appetite at the expense +of all the farmers in the neighbourhood, is inhabited by the soul of +the late Master _Filch_, who, as you will find by the sequel of the +story, is now placed in a station which is perfectly suitable to his +character. His very infancy was disgraced by a natural propensity to +fraud and rapine; for as soon as he could talk plain enough to be +understood, the chief employment of his tongue was to tell as many +stories as his little head was capable of inventing; and that his hands +might come in for their share of mischief, he never failed to make a +property of all the sugar, fruit, tarts, &c. which the carelessness of +the servants had left within his reach. If his parents had been wise +enough to chastise him for his little roguery, they might have nipped +it in the bud; but they were so imprudently fond, that they not only +neglected to administer the discipline of the rod, but made his +falsehood and pilferings the constant subject of their merriment. They +considered his faults as trivial, because they were the faults of a +child; not reflecting that if the seeds of vice are suffered to grow, +they will in a shorter time than is commonly imagined, take such deep +root in the heart, that it will be scarcely possible to eradicate them. +Experience, however, soon undeceived them; for when little _Filch_ was +eight or nine years old, though he had plenty of fruit at home, they +had the mortification to be informed that he was making daily +incursions into every poor man's garden in the neighbourhood. The +consequence of these repeated complaints was sometimes a severe +reprimand, and sometimes as severe a flogging; but neither the one nor +the other were able to produce a reformation, though it is very +probable, that if they had been applied in time, they might have been +applied to better purpose. From robbing orchards he soon proceeded to +the raising private contributions on his school fellows. Sometimes he +defrauded them at play: sometimes he picked their pockets; and very +frequently he stole their books, or money, out of their desks and +boxes: and, as it is the study of every wicked boy to maintain the +appearance of honesty as long as he is able, as soon as the robbery was +discovered he was the first person to exclaim against it, which he did +in the bitterest terms, and to prevent a long and circumstantial +inquiry after the author of it (which he suspected would not terminate +in his favour) he impudently pretended to have been an eye witness of +the fact, and then boldly charged it upon one or another of his school +mates, who he knew had neither skill nor spirit enough to contradict +his evidence in a satisfactory manner. By this means the bashful +innocent was frequently punished instead of the guilty. But as bad boys +are seldom able to conceal their faults long from the eye of justice, +young _Filch_ was soon detected in his wickedness, and being considered +as a dangerous person, whose bad example might have a pernicious effect +upon his play fellows, he was first corrected with all the severity he +deserved, and then sent home to his parents. In this disgraceful manner +he was dismissed from every school in the country, 'till at last, +though he was only thirteen years old, there was not a single academy +into which he could be admitted upon any terms whatever. But this was +not the worst effect of the ill character he had acquired: for as no +one is willing to introduce a lad of bad reputation into his house, +there was not a tradesman of any credit to be found who would venture +to take him as an apprentice, though a large premium was offered for +that purpose. His parents, therefore, were under the disagreeable +necessity of keeping him at home; but having little or nothing for him +to do, he soon fell into bad company, who in as short a time gave him a +perfect relish for the scandalous and expensive amusement of gaming and +tippling. His finances, though sufficiently plentiful for a youth of +his age, were by these destructive means so much encumbered with little +debts, that to maintain a worthless credit among his worthless +companions, he formed the wicked resolution of taking money from his +father and mother without their knowledge. The success of his first +attempt (in which he was not discovered, because he was not suspected +to be capable of so much baseness) encouraged him to a second; and the +success of his second attempt encouraged him to greater extravagances +and more expensive risk than he had ventured upon before. But his +wickedness, which in the former instances had been wrongfully charged +upon the servants of the family, being at last detected, and his +parents taking him very severely to task on account of such an +abandoned and depraved conduct, he left them in a fit of anger and +remorse, and became a thoughtless and unhappy wanderer; in this +situation falling one evening into a company whose mirth and gaiety +greatly delighted him, and whose genteel appearance led him to suppose +they were gentlemen, though in reality they were no other than +highwaymen, he was prevailed on in an unguarded moment, when heated +with liquor, to make an incursion with this infamous banditti, and +actually stopped a gentleman and demanded his money; fortunately, +however for this unhappy youth, the gentleman was an old school fellow, +and making himself known to him, with much intreaty prevailed on him +immediately to leave the company of those desperate adventurers, and +totally to abandon a mode of life so shockingly wicked in itself, and +so dreadfully fatal in its consequences. + +"But from the idle and dissipated manner in which he had spent his +time, he had contracted an unconquerable habit of indolence, and a +rooted aversion to business; in this frame of mind, the army became his +last resource, into which he entered as a common soldier, but after a +short time his itch for pilfering returning, he could not refrain from +making free with some money with which he was intrusted by his officer; +being detected, he was punished with that rigorous severity with which +thefts in the army usually are, and being afterwards thrown into the +Savoy prison, to prevent a repetition of his crime, he died there in a +few days of his wounds in the utmost misery. When the Bramin had +finished this melancholy tale, the poor wolf, as if he was conscious +how nearly it concerned him, heightened the horrour with which it had +filled us by such a mournful and terrifying howl, as made us heartily +glad to quit the room." + + + + +CHAP. VII. + +_Of the wonderful Transmigration of Master_ RICHARD RUSTICK _into the +Body of a Bear._ + + +In the next apartment into which Mr. _Wiseman_ conducted us, we saw the +cub of a bear, who lay upon the floor to which he was chained, without +having the good manners to rise when we entered; but when the Bramin +applied his wand to young Bruin's buttocks, he heaved up his shaggy +hide with a kind of lazy resentment, and saluted us with a reluctant +grin and a savage growl, which plainly intimated that he did not think +himself much beholden to us for our company. "This young brute, said +our conductor, is animated by the soul of the late matter _Rustick_, of +clownish memory. His father was a gentleman of rank and fortune, and +greatly beloved and respected by all his acquaintance; and if his son +Richard had possessed the same virtues and accomplishments, he might +afterwards have enjoyed his title and estate with equal comfort and +reputation. But as merit does not go by inheritance, like house and +land, young _Rustick's_ character was entirely the reverse of his +father's. He was of an awkward clumsy make; and the heaviness of his +disposition, and the coarseness of his manners perfectly corresponded +with the shape of his body. Though he was sent to school very early, +and put under the care of the best instructors which the country +afforded, he was a considerable time before he could tell his letters, +and much longer before he could read with tolerable accuracy: and even +then he pronounced every thing with such a clownish accent and such a +drawling tone, that any stranger would have taken him for a young +country bumkin, who had been used to follow the plow tail, and not for +the son and heir of a wealthy gentleman. He was equally eminent for his +neatness and dexterity in the art of penmanship; for, even when he was +twelve years old, if you had seen the letter which he then sent to his +mamma without the knowledge of his master, it was wrote so crooked +(i.e. not from side to side as it ought to have been, but from corner +to corner) and the strokes were all so coarse and uneven, and the whole +of the letter so awkwardly spelt, and so unmercifully blotted and +bedawbed, that you would have thought it had been the elegant epistle +of _Tony Clodhopper_ to his grandmother _Goody Linsey Woolsey_. As for +his mamma, poor gentlewoman! when she first opened it, she thought it +had been sent to her by some impudent shoe black or chimney sweeper; +but when she had directed her eyes to the bottom and read (though not, +I assure you, without the greatest difficulty)--"_from yr, loven ind +respactfle sun, Rickard Rostick_" she was so much oppressed with shame +and vexation, that she tore the letter into a thousand pieces, and was +ready to burst into tears. He was alike remarkable for the politeness +of his manners, and his agreeable address; for he had such a +treacherous memory, though he had been frequently reminded of the +propriety and indeed the necessity of observing those little punctilios +of good behaviour, that he seldom remembered when any company entered +the room in which he happened to be sitting, either to rise from his +chair or take off his hat; and when he was told of it either by his +parents or his master, he would bounce up, and snatch of his hat in +such an awkward hurry, grinning and leering the whole time, that you +would have thought he had just started from a dream; and even then he +would generally forget to finish the rude ceremony by making one of his +ducking bows. It is true, indeed, he had been under the hands of a +dancing master; but notwithstanding the utmost care and assiduity of +his teacher, who was esteemed a very excellent one; he was never able +to perform a whit better than he does in his present shape. In short, +you might as well have kept a hog in training for Newmarket races, or +an ox for his majesty to ride upon at a grand review, as have attempted +to initiate master _Dicky Rustick_ in the elements of politeness and +good breeding. With such a delicate disposition, and such amiable +talents, you will readily perceive that he must have been a most +agreeable play fellow. His favorite diversion was that which has been +distinguished by the vulgar, by the well known name of _Pully Hawly_, +in which he so much excelled that whenever he was invited by the young +gentlemen and ladies in the neighbourhood to play with them, he +generally rewarded their civility by tearing their coats or pulling +their clothes off their backs before he returned home; so that at last +they bestowed upon him, by general consent, the honourable title of +_'Squire Bruin_. It must, however, be acknowledged that he was a youth +of such impartial justice, that he shewed as little favour to his own +clothes as to those of _other_ people; for what with climbing up old +trees, and rambling over hedges and ditches, to seek for birds nests, +he commonly appeared by dinner time, how well soever he had been +dressed in the morning, in as ragged a coat as he wears at present. It +must also be remarked, that if the young gentlemen and ladies soon grew +weary, as indeed they did, of such a rough play fellow, he, in _his_ +turn, was as willing to leave _their_ company, as they were to be rid +of _his_; for his chief delight was to associate with such vulgar boys +and girls as were of the same rugged disposition as himself. With these +he could pull and hawl and romp and tear as long as he pleased; and the +more active he became in this raggamuffin species of diversion, the +more they relished his company. But, upon occasion, he could fight as +well as play: I mean when he either was provoked to it by his equals, +or tempted to it by the hopes of defrauding of their little property +those who he knew had neither strength enough nor courage to resist +him. But whatever was his motive either for _beginning_ or suffering +himself to be _drawn_ into an engagement, he was very far from +confining himself to any rules of honour, or to the established laws of +war; for instead of boxing fairly, he would kick, pull hair, bite, and +scratch most unmercifully, and never fail to take every advantage of +his antagonist after he had brought him to the ground. For these +reasons he was soon dignified with the nick name of _Dick Bear_, even +by the vulgar boys in the streets; and most of them afterwards took +care never to engage with him unless when there were several other boys +present to see fair play. One would think that such a rough hewn and +slovenly mortal as we have been describing would have had little regard +for any delicacies in the eating way. But whoever draws such a +conclusion in favour of our hero, _Dicky Rustick_, is greatly mistaken; +for I can assure you that he had as nice and dainty a tooth as any lady +in the land. Though his father always kept a handsome table, it +afforded scarcely any thing which was good enough for the palate of +Master _Richard_. Nothing would go down with him but tarts, custards, +and the most costly cakes and puddings; for as to good roast and boiled +meat and plain and wholesome pies or dumplings, he would turn up his +nose at them as if they were fit only for vagabonds and beggars. Nay, +even to this very hour, and in his present clumsy shape, he is almost +as dainty as ever; for he is remarkably fond of honey, and if permitted +would often expose his shaggy head and his eyes to the resentment of +the bees, by disturbing their hives to rob them of their delicious +store. It was his fondness for niceties of every kind which shortened +his days, and eased his parents of their apprehensions for a son who, +if he had lived, would have been a continual plague and disgrace to +them; for on the day when he entered into the fourteenth year of his +age, being indulged rather more than common, he devoured such a +quantity of the richest tarts, that his stomach could not digest them; +so that he soon fell into a violent fever, which in a few days hurried +his unworthy soul out of the body of a young country 'squire (for such +he would have been) into the carcass of this hairy and awkward young +monster which now stands before you. He so well understands what I have +been saying, and is so much vexed at the character I have given of him, +which he knows to be a very just one, that if you will promise to quit +the room and leave him to himself he will pleasure you with one of his +best dances before you go."--Accordingly after thanking the Bramin for +the account he had given us, we all promised to leave Mr. _Bruin_ to +his own meditation; upon which, after taking two or three sulkey +rounds, the young savage reared himself upon his buttocks, and shuffled +a saraband which lasted a few minutes. When he had finished his dance +he swaggered down again upon his fore paws, and by a sullen growl +seemed to claim the performance of our promise, an indulgence which we +very readily granted him. + + + + +CHAP. VIII. + +_Of the astonishing Transmigration of Miss_ ABIGAIL EVILTONGUE _into +the Body of a Serpent._ + + +In the next apartment we saw a large wire cage, in which the Bramin +told us he had a bird which was something different from the common +ones; and so indeed it was, for upon my eldest daughter's going near to +see it, she was startled by a large serpent which darted itself against +the wires, and hissed and sissed as if it would have stung us all to +death in an instant. It was however, a very beautiful creature of the +kind, and as the sun then shone very bright, the golden and silver +streaks upon its azure skin made a very splendid appearance. My +youngest son wanting to go and stroke it;--"No, my pretty boy, said the +good Bramin; if you have any value for yourself, you will always keep +out of the reach of such creatures as these, and of all such who +resemble the young lady by whose soul this serpent is animated. I say +_young lady_, because the serpent before you is indeed animated by the +soul of the late Miss _Abigail Eviltongue_. The family of the +_Eviltongue_, (I dare say you have heard of them) is extremely +numerous; for there are some, and indeed too many of them, in every +town, and, I believe in every village in the country. Miss _Abigail_, +the young lady I am speaking of, had as just a title to the name, and +supported the character of her family with as much exactness as any one +amongst them; for her tongue was remarkably active, and spared the +reputation neither of friend nor foe. She was, it is true, a very +handsome girl, and the charms of her person would have procured her +many admirers if they had not been disgraced by her natural propensity +to slander and defamation. In her very infancy, as soon as she could +speak to be understood, she began with telling fibs of the servants, +and very frequently of her brothers and sisters; for which, you may be +certain, they all despised her very heartily. But as she was too much +encouraged in this hateful practice by her parents, instead of being +severely flogged for it, as she ought to have been, she set the frowns +and sneers of the others at open defiance; and the more they resented +her little malice the more eager she was to gratify it by loading them +with all the falsehoods she was capable of inventing. In proportion as +she grew older, this mischievous habit increased upon her; and when she +was big enough to go a visiting, she indulged it abroad with as much +freedom as she had been used to do at home; so that, in a short time, +there was scarcely a young miss or master in the neighbourhood whose +character she had not attempted to injure. What made her slanders the +more odious was, that she generally vented them under a pretence of the +greatest friendship and respect for the persons to whom she related +them, and with great seeming pity for those whose reputation they were +intended to destroy. She had likewise the malicious cunning to say many +trifling things in praise of the objects of her censure; that by thus +assuming an appearance of the strictest impartiality, and of the +sincerest good nature, she might more easily gain credit to the bad +things she said afterwards. By such artifices as these she frequently +succeeded with the innocent and the unwary, and set one acquaintance +and even one friend against another, without any sort of advantage to +herself but the mere pleasure of making mischief. Another trick which +she often employed for that purpose, was to examine into a young +gentleman or lady's constitutional foibles (for we all have some) and +when she had discovered these, to go immediately to the person and tell +him or her, that master or miss _such a one_ had publickly ridiculed +him for those very failings; by these means she was almost certain to +be believed without any farther inquiry; for every one, even upon the +slightest hint, will readily suspect that those things have been said +of him, which he most wishes to be concealed, because he is conscious +they are _really_ true; he will seldom trouble himself to inquire into +the veracity of the tale bearer, lest he should be reduced to the +necessity of defending himself on his weakest side. For a similar +reason, when Miss _Abigail_ had a mind to flatter any person (which she +frequently would, to answer the purposes of her malice) she always +commended him for those particular good qualities, or accomplishments +which she knew he most valued himself for, or chiefly wished to have +the credit of; because she was sensible that by this method she +effectually retained his own vanity as her advocate for whatever she +said afterwards. Nay, I have been informed by one who knew her +perfectly well, that, young as she was, she sometimes carried her +artifice so far as to begin a dispute with the person she intended to +deceive, and after a little sharp altercation _pro and con_ to flatter +his vanity by gradually giving up the argument, and at last yielding +him a victory, which gave him the more pleasure, because he thought it +to be entirely owing to the invincible strength of his judgment. But +she had another fault, which, if possible, was still more odious, than +any of those already mentioned--viz. to revile and backbite those from +whom she had received the greatest favours; for as she was too proud to +own herself to be under obligations to any person, so to prevent others +from taking notice of them, as she imagined to her disadvantage, she +would represent every obligation she had received from her friends to +be either of the most trifling consequence, or to have been bestowed +from selfish and despicable motives. Such was the temper and behaviour +of Miss _Abigail_, who was a wretched complication of malice, low +cunning and ingratitude: It is therefore no wonder that every person of +sense and character was careful to avoid her company, and that she was +detested by many, and despised even by those who wished her well. In +short, the general contempt to which she had exposed herself, and the +severe mortifications she met with from time to time, gave such killing +wounds to her pride, that after pining and wasting away with shame and +vexation for the space of several months, she at last broke her heart +and gave up the ghost, in the seventeenth year of her age. After her +death her contemptible soul was immediately hurried into the body of +this venomous serpent, where it still retains its former malice and +cunning."--When the Bramin had finished his story, the serpent, as if +she understood and resented what had been said, writhed about and +hissed at him as if she could have stung his eyes out. + +We afterwards visited several other apartments, and saw a young tyger, +a fox, a badger, &c. each of which was animated by the soul of some +naughty child, who very nearly resembled him in temper. But as I have +perhaps, already carried my treatise to such a length as will tire the +eyes and the patience of my little readers, it is proper to bring it to +a conclusion. I will, therefore, take my leave of them for the present, +with observing that in one of the rooms we visited, we saw a pretty +little parrot, in a gilt cage, who was perpetually talking, but did not +understand the meaning of one single word he said. "This noisy bird, +said the good Bramin, is inhabited by the soul of the late master +_Gabble_, who was remarkable for two faults. He always spoke without +thinking, and read a great deal with so little attention, that he made +no farther improvement in knowledge than if he had never read at all. +He devoured every thing, but digested nothing." If any of my readers +happen to be of the same disposition, they may survey the gilt covers +of this little treatise with as much advantage as they will peruse the +contents of it. + + +FINIS. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Vice in its Proper Shape, by Anonymous + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK VICE IN ITS PROPER SHAPE *** + +***** This file should be named 26379.txt or 26379.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/2/6/3/7/26379/ + +Produced by Mark C. 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