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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Vice in its Proper Shape, by Anonymous
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Vice in its Proper Shape
+       Or, The Wonderful and Melancholy Transformation of Several
+       Naughty Masters and Misses Into Those Contemptible Animals
+       Which They Most Resemble In Disposition.
+
+Author: Anonymous
+
+Release Date: August 20, 2008 [EBook #26379]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK VICE IN ITS PROPER SHAPE ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Mark C. Orton and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was
+produced from images generously made available by The
+Internet Archive/American Libraries.)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: FRONTISPIECE.]
+
+
+
+VICE
+IN ITS
+PROPER SHAPE;
+OR, THE
+Wonderful and Melancholy
+TRANSFORMATION
+OF SEVERAL
+NAUGHTY MASTERS AND MISSES
+INTO THOSE
+Contemptible ANIMALS which they most
+resemble in Disposition.
+
+
+Printed for the Benefit of all GOOD BOYS
+and GIRLS.
+
+
+
+THE FIRST _WORCESTER_ EDITION.
+
+PRINTED at WORCESTER, _Massachusetts_,
+BY ISAIAH THOMAS,
+Sold at his BOOKSTORE, and by THOMAS
+and ANDREWS in BOSTON.
+
+MDCCLXXXIX.
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTION.
+
+
+It was the opinion of the wise _Pythagoras_, and of some other
+philosophers, that the souls of men, women, and children, after their
+death, are sent into other human bodies, and sometimes into those of
+beasts and birds, or even insects; and that they hereby change their
+residence either to their advantage or disadvantage, according to their
+good or ill behaviour in their preceding state of existence. This
+singular opinion still prevails in some part of the Eastindies; and
+that to such a degree that they make it criminal to put any animal to
+death: "For how do you know, say they, but in killing a sheep, a bird,
+or a fish, you murder your father, or your brother, or some other
+deceased friend or relation, whose soul may inhabit the body of the
+animal you so wantonly destroy?" An officer in the service of the
+Eastindia Company, and a particular friend of mine, had like to have
+lost his life by not paying a proper deference to this whimsical
+notion; for being some time in that part of the country, and happening
+to shoot a heron, he was immediately arrested and prosecuted for it by
+one of the natives. The man insisted that the heron was inhabited by
+the soul of his father; and supported his point so much to the
+satisfaction of the court, that had it not been for the friendly
+assistance of a Jew, who appeared as the captain's advocate, he would
+certainly have been condemned. The Jew, allowed that what the plaintiff
+had asserted was strictly true, but pleaded in behalf of his client,
+that the soul of his, the said client's grandmother, resided in the
+body of a fish, which the said client had often seen and knew perfectly
+well; and that at the time when the heron was killed, the said heron
+was going to dart upon the said fish to devour it; so that the said
+client being strongly moved thereunto by his natural affection,
+instantly shot the said heron purely to save the life of his
+grandmother. This plea was admitted, and the captain was immediately
+discharged by order of the court. It is well for the reader that the
+captain escaped as he did: for if he had been hanged for murdering the
+heron, it is more than probable that it would have been out of his
+power to have returned to England with that curious little treatise
+which I have now taken the pains to translate into English for the
+amusement of the little masters and misses of Great Britain.
+
+It contains a diverting account of several naughty boys and girls, who,
+after their death (which was generally owing to their own folly) were
+degraded into such animals as they most resembled when alive. I cannot
+pretend to say who was the author; for his modesty was so great, that
+he has not inserted his name in the title page.
+
+The captain tells me, it is the opinion of some of the Indian criticks,
+that he was an academy-keeper, who wrote for the instruction of his
+scholars; and of others, that he was a fond father who wrote for the
+entertainment of his children; but as it is very possible that both of
+them may be mistaken, I shall not presume to decide which of them have
+been so fortunate as to discover the truth in a matter of such evident
+importance.
+
+I have only to observe, that as long proper names (such as those of the
+Indians) would have been too crabbed for most of my little readers, I
+have put myself to the amazing trouble of substituting English names in
+their room, which are expressive of the characters of the persons to
+whom they are applied. After humbly begging the author's pardon, for
+taking this liberty with his ingenious performance, I must desire all
+the masters and misses who read my translation of it, to be extremely
+careful to avoid all the crimes and follies which it was intended to
+correct; otherwise, if my friend the captain (who will probably hear of
+their ill behaviour) should happen to speak of it, when he makes
+another voyage to India, and it should by any means reach the ear of my
+author, we may perhaps have a second volume, containing a mortifying
+account of the surprising and lamentable transmigrations of some of the
+naughty boys and girls in England.
+
+
+
+
+CHAP. I.
+
+_Of the wonderful Transmigration of_ Jack Idle _into the body of an
+ass_.
+
+
+One morning after breakfast I took a walk into the fields with my seven
+dear children; which I did, not only for the benefit of their health,
+but as a reward for their good behaviour. They always obey me and their
+affectionate mother with the utmost cheerfulness; and I, in return, am
+always ready to indulge them as far as my duty and their interest will
+permit. When we had travelled about three miles from the city, where
+Divine Providence has fixed our abode, we came to a range of little
+tenements, or I should rather have called them sheds, over the midst of
+which (and it was likewise the largest) was fixed a board, on which was
+written in lofty capitals WAL*KINBEHOL*DANDLE*ARN,[1] which signifies,
+_Walk in_, _behold_, _and learn_. While I was musing upon this strange
+inscription, and wondering what curiosities there could be in such
+contemptible little huts, the door of the middlemost was suddenly
+opened by a Bramin, who with the greatest politeness and affability,
+desired us to walk in, assuring me, that notwithstanding the mean
+appearance of his little tenements, there were several things to be
+seen in them, which might contribute to the entertainment and
+instruction of my pretty fellow travellers. "I am, said he, as you may
+perceive by my habit, a Bramin, and my name is _Wiseman_. All the time
+I can spare from the worship of my Maker, and the contemplation of that
+astonishing wisdom and beneficence which he has displayed in his works
+of creation and providence, I cheerfully devote to the service of my
+fellow mortals, and particularly of the younger and unexperienced part
+of them. The most valuable service I can render them is to conduct them
+into the paths of virtue and discretion. For this purpose, having been
+gifted with the faculty of distinguishing those animals which are now
+animated by the souls of such human beings as formerly degraded
+themselves to a level with the unthinking brutes, I have taken the
+pains to provide a collection of beasts, birds, &c. most of which are
+inhabited by the souls of some naughty masters or misses, who died in
+the neighbourhood, and it is possible were not unknown to your little
+companions. It was a proverb among the ancient Bramins, that _Example
+is more powerful than precept_, and it is the common language of
+mankind to this day, _I understand what I hear, but I believe what I
+see_. It would not be amiss therefore, if you were to accompany the
+young gentlemen and ladies into my little appartments, that they may be
+eye witnesses to the mortifying consequences of an ill spent and
+vicious life, even to those who have not arrived at the age of
+manhood."
+
+      [1] The captain informs that this inscription is in the language
+      of the ancient _Bramins_.
+
+We accepted the offer with the utmost gratitude, and eagerly inquired
+what we had to pay for admittance. But the good Bramin assured us, that
+he never made a traffick of the little wisdom he had to communicate,
+and that the most acceptable recompense we could make him, was, to
+bestow what we could prudently spare upon such real objects of charity
+as might afterwards fall in our way:--"For mercy and benevolence, said
+he, are the darling attributes of heaven, and those who are most
+distinguished for the practice of them, bear the nearest resemblance to
+their Maker, and will therefore receive the largest portion of his
+favour both in this world, and in that which is to come."
+
+The first room we were conducted into was the habitation of a little
+ass, who, as soon as we entered the place, began to bray, and kick up
+his heels, at a most violent rate; but, upon the appearance of Mr.
+Wiseman (which I have before observed was the Bramin's name) he thought
+proper to compose himself, and stood as quiet as a lamb.--"This
+stubborn little beast said our kind conductor, is now animated by the
+soul of the late master _Idle_. In his life-time he possessed all the
+bad properties of the animal you see before you; so that, to speak the
+truth, he now appears in his proper shape. His rough coat of hair is a
+very suitable emblem of the ruggedness of his disposition; and his long
+and clumsy ears not only denotes his stupidity, but, as they afford a
+very secure and convenient hold to any one who has occasion to catch
+him when he runs loose in the fields, they sufficiently intimate that
+he was always open to the ill advice of his play-fellows. If the
+meanest and most dirty boy in the neighbourhood was in want of a
+companion, or rather a tool, to assist him in his mischievous pranks,
+he had nothing to do but to make his application to _Jack Idle_; for
+foolish Jack (as they truly called him) was at the beck of every
+mischievous rogue; and when the mischief was done, he was always left,
+like a stupid ass as he was, to bear the burden of it. His father had
+money; and Jack's great pride was to be complimented by his raggamuffin
+companions as the cook of the game. Once (I remember it perfectly well)
+three bargemen's boys having a violent inclination to plunder a pippin
+tree, which was the property of farmer _Crusty_, they gave master Jacky
+such a tempting account of the wish'd for prize, and held forth so
+liberally in praise of his courage and ingenuity, that they prevailed
+upon him to be not only a party, but the commander in chief in this
+hopeful enterprize. But, as such adventures generally terminate in the
+most mortifying disappointment, the young plunderers were discovered by
+the farmer before they had gathered half their booty. The three
+tarpaulins being at the bottom of the tree made their escape without
+much difficulty; but Jack, who, to support the dignity of his new
+command, had ascended almost to the top, was unfortunately taken
+prisoner. The consequence was, that his father (who had to deal with a
+wretch who was as crusty by nature as he was by name) after being
+obliged to pay ten times the value of the fruit, conducted his son to
+Mr. _Sharp_, the gentleman who had the trouble of his education, from
+whom he received a severe flogging in the presence of all his school
+fellows, as a very suitable reward of his stupid ambition. From this
+account of him you will naturally conclude that he was no great friend
+to learning; and, indeed, so remarkable was his aversion to the useful
+arts of reading and writing, that his greatest improvement amounted
+only to an indifferent knowledge of the alphabet, and the poor
+accomplishment of being just able to scrawl his own name in characters
+which were scarcely legible. He was equally distinguished for his speed
+and fidelity when his parents sent him on an errand; for he could
+hardly make shift to saunter a mile in an hour, and when he arrived at
+the place of his destination, he usually forgot three fourths of his
+message, and endeavoured to supply the defect by some blundering tale
+of his own invention. He was once dispatched by his father, in great
+haste, to a gentleman who lived not a quarter of a mile off, to request
+the favour of his company, in half an hour's time, to settle matters
+with a grazer, of whom they had purchased several head of cattle; when
+Jack arrived at the gentleman's house, which he actually did in the
+short space of an hour and a half, he rubbed his eyes, and scratched
+his head, and informed him that his father wanted him sadly, and that
+he must come directly to speak with the _brazier_, who, he said, had
+waited for him above two hours. It was very happy for his parents
+(whether they thought so or not) that Jack's sudden exit out of the
+world, in the thirteenth year of his age, effectually prevented him
+from bringing any material disgrace upon his family; which he certainly
+would have done, if he had lived to be his own master. The occasion of
+his death was as follows:--One morning, instead of making the best of
+his way to school, (which he was constantly ordered to do) happening
+very luckily to be overtaken by _Tom Sharper_, and _Dick Lackwit_, they
+prudently agreed to avoid the intolerable drudgery of the hornbook, by
+playing truant and indulging themselves in the profitable diversions of
+sitting all day on the bank of a lonesome brook to fish for minows;
+they had pretty good sport, as they called it, for the first hour; but
+then Mr. _Sharper's_ line happening to be entangled among some large
+weeds, from which he could not disengage it as he stood upon the brink;
+and as he was naturally too great an adept in the science of self
+preservation, to expose himself to danger, when he could persuade
+another to supply his place; he requested the favour of master _Idle_
+to ascend a sloping tree which stood upon the bank, and from thence to
+descend gradually upon a hanging branch, the small end of which almost
+touched his line. Poor Jack was somewhat unwilling to venture upon the
+experiment; but a little more persuasion, which was supported by a few
+surly menaces, soon vanquished every objection. He accordingly ascended
+the tree; but when he attempted to seat himself upon the hanging branch
+the small twigs, upon which he stupidly fastened his hold for that
+purpose, suddenly gave way, and down he plunged into the middle of the
+brook, where, after many eager and ineffectual struggles to recover the
+bank, he sunk to the bottom, and rose no more. The last words he spoke
+were, _Oh! my dear father! my dear mother! I wish I had_--He meant I
+suppose, that he wished he had followed their good advice; but the
+water, which ran very fast into his mouth, suddenly stopped his speech,
+and nothing more was heard but a faint bubbling in his throat, and two
+or three desperate plunges at the bottom of the water, to preserve that
+life which fell a melancholy sacrifice to his own folly and
+disobedience!--One would think that such a shocking catastrophe would
+be sufficient to subdue ten times the stubbornness and stupidity for
+which master _Idle_ was so remarkable: But as we are too apt to forget
+the eager promises, and laugh at the self condemning reflections, which
+we have made in the hour of distress, I need not mention it as a
+prodigy, that the soul by which this little beast is animated, is still
+infected with the same vicious disposition, which disgraced and
+punished it, when it occupied the body of _Jack Idle_."
+
+To convince us of the truth of what he said, the good Bramin addressed
+himself to the ass before us, and assured him that if he was sincerely
+inclined to behave as he ought to do, and forsake the follies he had
+been guilty of in his former state of existence, he should again have
+the honour to ascend to the rank of human beings. But the stubborn
+little animal (who perfectly understood what he said) first leered at
+him with the most stupid resentment in the world, and then fell a
+braying and kicking with greater violence than when we first entered
+the room. "Soho! said Mr. Wiseman, is that your manners, my boy;"--and
+then giving him two or three hearty strokes, "well, well, said he, if
+this is all the return I am to have for my generous care of you, I will
+certainly sell you to the first sandman I see, who will bestow upon you
+plenty of drubbing, plenty of fasting, and (what you will relish the
+worst of all) a never failing plenty of work."
+
+
+
+
+CHAP. II.
+
+_An Account of the surprizing Transmigration of Master_ ANTHONY
+GREEDYGUTS, _into the Body of a Pig_.
+
+
+The next room into which we were conducted, contained a fat little pig,
+who, as soon as we had entered the door, began to cry _a week_, _a
+week_, _a week_, in such a squeaking tone as grated our ears in the
+most disagreeable manner: but as soon as Mr. _Wiseman_ produced his
+wand, he lowered his pipes to a few sulky grunts, and then became as
+still as a mouse.--"This young pig, said the venerable Bramin, is now
+animated by the soul of the late master _Greedyguts_, who died about
+two months ago, and has left a number of relations behind him in almost
+every town you can mention. Poor foolish youth, if he had been less
+fond of his belly, and more attentive to his book, and to the good
+advice of his parents, his soul would not have been confined as it now
+is, in the body of that nasty, greedy, and noisy little animal which
+you see before you. But, to represent his character in its proper
+colours, he was always a hoggish little fellow, and disdained every
+other sort of labour but that of lifting his hand to his mouth. He
+loved eating much better than reading; and would prefer a tart, a
+custard, a plumcake, or even a slice of gingerbread, or an apple, to
+the prettiest, and most useful little book you could present him with;
+so that if his parents had purchased a hundred books for him, one after
+the other, he would have readily parted with them to the first crafty
+boy he met with, who had any trash to spare by way of exchange. It
+cannot therefore be considered as a miracle, notwithstanding the
+extraordinary care and expense which his friends bestowed upon his
+education, that he always continued a blockhead, and was such a perfect
+dunce at eleven years of age, that instead of being able to read and
+write as a young gentleman ought to do, he could scarcely tell his
+letters. He was equally remarkable for his selfishness; for if he had
+twenty cheesecakes in his box, or his pockets full of oranges and
+apples, he would sooner have given a tooth out of his head than have
+parted with one of them, even to his own brother or sister. The
+consequence was (and indeed what else could have been expected) that he
+was despised and hated by all his play fellows, and distinguished by
+the mortifying title of _Tony Pig_; an animal which he perfectly
+resembled in his nastiness as well as greediness. For if he was dressed
+in the morning as clean as hands could make him, he would, by running
+into puddles and kennels, and rolling upon the ground, become as black
+as a chimney sweeper before noon; and I sincerely believe that he
+thought it as great a punishment to have his hair combed, or to wash
+his hands and face, as to be whipped; for he would cry and struggle as
+much to avoid the one as to escape the other. But, to ease his parents
+of their heavy apprehensions upon his account, and to rid the world of
+such a plague and disgrace, as he certainly would have been, if he had
+lived to years of maturity, kind death was pleased to dispatch him in
+the twelfth year of his age, by the help of a dozen penny custards,
+which he greedily conveyed down his throat at one meal, and thereby
+gorged his stomach, and threw himself into a mortal fever. After his
+exit, his soul, as I have already informed you, was hurried into the
+body of this little pig; a station which perfectly corresponds with his
+disposition. Nay, so great is his stubbornness (which is another
+hateful quality in which he resembled the animal before you) that his
+punishment has not made the least alteration in his temper; for, if we
+were to get his soul replaced into a human body, upon his promise of
+immediate amendment, he will not submit even to make such a promise. To
+convince you that I have not misrepresented his character, I'll try the
+experiment immediately." Accordingly, the good Bramin asked him before
+us all, if, upon the condition above-mentioned, he would leave off his
+greedy and selfish behaviour. To this he condescended, though with a
+visible reluctance, to grunt, _aye, aye_. "But how long will it be,
+said Mr. Wiseman, before you perform your promise?" _A week, a week, a
+week_, cried the pig. "And how long will it be before you lay aside
+your nastiness, and maintain such a cleanly and decent appearance as
+becomes a gentleman?" _A week, a week_, said the dirty creature. "And
+how long will it be before you respect the good advice of your parents,
+and prefer the improvement of your understanding to the gratification
+of your appetite?" _A week, a week, a week_, replied the stubborn
+little animal. "In short, said the worthy Bramin, if I were to repeat
+the same questions to him a month, or even a year hence, I should not
+prevail upon him to say _now_; but his constant answer would be, _a
+week, a week, a week_. I believe, therefore, that instead of reforming
+him (which is an event that would afford me the most sensible pleasure)
+we shall at last be forced to roast and eat him; for, as long as he
+continues in his present way of thinking, it is very certain that his
+existence can be of no service either to himself, or any one else."
+Thus, then, said he, I have troubled you with a particular account of
+this stupid little pig; and I sincerely hope that the story will
+prevail upon my young visitors to be cleanly in their appearance,
+temperate in their diet, and kind and obliging to every body; for
+whosoever pursues a contrary behaviour, is in reality a _hog_, though
+he bears the name of a gentleman.
+
+
+
+
+CHAP. III.
+
+_The Transmigration of Miss_ DOROTHY CHATTERFAST _into the Body of a
+Magpie._
+
+
+In one corner of the room where poor _Tony Pig_ was confined, hung a
+large cage, which was the prison of a pert young magpie. As soon as my
+son _Jacky_ who was the youngest of the company, and remarkably fond of
+birds, had saluted her by the well known appellation of _mag, poor
+mag_; she wagged her tail with surprising agility, and began to chatter
+in such an elevated tone, and with such a rapid pronunciation, that I
+was heartily glad when the kind Bramin commanded silence. "The body of
+this party coloured, loquacious bird, said he, is the involuntary
+residence of the late Miss Dorothy Chatterfast; who was a most
+notorious little gossip, and belonged to a family which is as numerous
+as that of the _Greedyguts_. To do her justice, she was a handsome
+little girl, and as brisk and notable as any young miss in her
+neighbourhood. But to her own misfortune, and the unspeakable vexation
+of most persons who came within the sphere of her observation, her
+little tongue was as active as her hands. She learned to talk very
+early, and so speedy was her improvement in the art of prattling, that,
+before she was three years old, she could lisp out a tale in very
+intelligible language. Her parents were so unwise as to encourage her
+in this mischievous kind of ingenuity, not only from the pleasure they
+took in hearing how fast she learned to speak, but because they
+considered it as an infallible token that she would, in time, prove an
+excellent wit and a notable manager. It is not, therefore, to be
+wondered at, that she took a great deal of notice of every thing which
+passed in the family, and particularly in the kitchen. If any of the
+servants accidentally broke a teacup, or saucer, a glass, &c. or
+received an unexpected visit from some of their acquaintance, or
+relations, when her parents happened to be absent from home; she never
+failed to inform them of it, the first opportunity, with many
+aggravating circumstances of her own invention; for which they
+generally complimented her, by way of reward, with the flattering
+titles of _a good child_, _a sweet little dear_, and _a careful little
+girl_. By this officious impertinence she frequently got the servants
+reprimanded, and sometimes dismissed; so that by degrees they all began
+to fear and hate her. She was equally attentive to every trifle which
+happened at the school, where she was daily sent to learn the art of
+reading, and the use of her needle; for the moment she came home, and
+before she had well entered the parlour door, and made her courtesy,
+her little tongue began to rattle like a mill clack."--"Mamma, said
+she, Tommy Careless was flogged for tearing his book, Jackey Fidget
+because he was a naughty boy and would not sit still, Polly
+Giddybrains, for losing her needle and thread paper, and, Lord bless
+me! my ma'am was so cross, that she was going to put the nasty fool's
+cap on _my_ head, only for miscalling the first word in my
+lesson."--"In short she was such a notorious telltale, that she was
+soon dignified by her school fellows with the honourable appellation of
+_Dolly Cagmag_. As she advanced in years, the habit grew upon her; and
+when she was old enough to be introduced into company, and go a
+visiting, she carried on the same mischievous and despicable trade
+abroad, in which she had met with such encouragement at home. Whatever
+she saw or heard in one place, she would be sure to report it in
+another; so that all the masters and misses who had the mortification
+to fall into her company, considered themselves as under the malicious
+inspection of a meddlesome spy; which they had the more reason to do,
+because she seldom failed to embellish her informations with the
+recital of several unfavourable circumstances of her own invention."
+"Indeed, Mr. Wiseman, said Betsey, my youngest daughter, what you have
+told us is exactly true; for I have been in company with Miss
+Chatterfast several times, and I remember once in particular that when
+Master _Sprightly_, who was a merry young spark, had stolen a kiss from
+Miss _Patty Sweetlips_, though the poor young lady blushed as red as
+scarlet, and seemed to be greatly displeased at the freedom which had
+been taken with her, Miss Chatterfast was so mischievous as to
+represent her to all her acquaintance as a bold little hussey, who
+loved to be kissed by the young gentlemen. When poor innocent Patty was
+informed of the character which had been so unjustly fixed upon her,
+she was ashamed to stir out of doors, and laid it so much to heart I
+thought she would have cried her eyes out." "This was very unkind
+indeed, replied the good Bramin; and yet, I sincerely believe that all
+the mischief her tongue was guilty of, was more owing to her vanity and
+that talkative humour in which she had always been encouraged from her
+infancy, than to any real malice in her heart. She had been long
+accustomed to speak without thinking, and naturally imagined that her
+impertinent loquacity would be as much admired and applauded by other
+people as by her thoughtless parents. I have the satisfaction, however,
+to observe that you are perfectly sensible of her mistake, though she
+had not the good fortune to be so herself. If she had lived much
+longer, it is very probable that the many slights and affronts she must
+necessarily have met with, would have opened her eyes: For those who by
+their impertinent censures set the whole world at defiance, may
+reasonably expect to find an enemy in every house they enter. But her
+meddlesome, inquisitive disposition proved to be the accidental means
+of shortening her days, before she had experience enough to correct it:
+for, one evening, Mr. _Kindly_, a wealthy merchant, indulged all the
+young masters and misses in the neighbourhood with a splendid ball at
+his own house: Miss _Chatterfast_, though she had at that time a severe
+cold upon her, was so desirous of embracing such a favourable
+opportunity of making her remarks upon the behaviour and different
+dresses of the company, and thereby furnishing herself with an ample
+stock for conversation, that she could not be prevailed upon by her too
+indulgent parents to spend the evening at home. The consequence was
+such as might naturally have been expected. By first over heating
+herself at the ball, and afterwards exposing herself to the night air
+in her return home, her cold, (which was bad enough before) suddenly
+increased into a violent fever which hurried her to the grave in the
+short space of five or six days. Though her untimely death excited the
+transient pity of most of her acquaintance, very few of them, I
+believe, were really sorry to part with her. But notwithstanding that
+violent propensity to exercise her tongue, which she too frequently
+indulged to the vexation of her neighbours, she had a large fund of
+good nature at the bottom; so that I am in hopes that she will soon be
+restored to the rank of human beings, and have an opportunity of
+employing her speaking faculties with greater discretion and in a more
+agreeable manner than she did before. Her former loquacity (as I have
+already observed) was almost entirely owing to that vanity and want of
+thought, in which she had been too much encouraged by the simple
+fondness of her parents; but the low station in which she now appears,
+will probably teach her to be more humble and considerate, and of
+consequence to check that talkative humour which in her past lifetime
+formed the most remarkable part of her character." Poor mag (who, I
+suppose, understood every word the Bramin said) wagged her tail a
+little, as we left the room, but did not think proper to utter a single
+chatter.
+
+
+
+
+CHAP. IV.
+
+_The Transmigration of Master_ STEPHEN CHURL _into the Body of a little
+Cur._
+
+
+In the next apartment we entered, we saw a little snarling cur, who
+immediately saluted us with a surly grin, and barked and yelped as if
+he would have torn the house down. He was indeed very securely chained
+to a small kennel; but my daughter Betsey happening to venture too near
+him, he snapped at her and tore her apron. "Take care, miss, said Mr.
+Wiseman, and keep out of his reach; for though he is but a cur, he is
+very mischievous. His body is the contemptible residence of the soul of
+the late Master _Churl_. Poor miserable youth! he was a wrangler from
+his infancy; and his litigious temper gave him as just a title to the
+name of _Churl_ as his birth. Even when he was a child in arms, he was
+such a peevish and noisy little brat, that his mamma could not find a
+woman who would undertake the trouble of nursing him; and as soon as he
+was able to speak and run alone, he began to wrangle with his brothers
+and sisters, upon the most trifling occasions, and seldom forgot to
+support his argument by exerting his little hands and heels with the
+most malicious activity; so that to mortify his pride, and give a check
+to his ill nature, they bestowed upon him the disgraceful title of
+young _Kick and Cuff_. Poor Stephen, however bid defiance to all their
+ridicule, and was so far from being reclaimed by it, that his
+turbulence increased in proportion to his strength and stature. He was
+afterwards as quarrelsome at school as he had been at home; and in
+every party at taw, or trap ball, or any other innocent diversion in
+which he happened to be engaged, he was always remarkable for
+disturbing the game by his frivolous disputes: Nay, when he was only a
+looker on, he would betray his wrangling impertinent temper, by calling
+out, such a one does not play fairly; such a one counts too many; and
+such a one goes in before his turn. The usual reward he received for
+his trouble was, a handsome drubbing, sometimes from his master, but
+more frequently from his school fellows. He was equally notorious for
+his great forwardness to give a challenge, upon the slightest
+provocation, and very often from mere wantonness; and sometimes he
+would very unfairly begin an engagement without giving any previous
+notice, that he might make sure of the first blow. But his strength and
+skill being unequal to his pretensions, the many mortifying defeats he
+received, soon taught him the despicable cunning of assaulting none but
+those, who, he believed, were either too weak to contend with him, or
+too cowardly to stand in their own defence. The speedy consequence of
+such a dirty conduct was, that the bigger boys despised and laughed at
+him, and those who were less than himself, carefully shunned his
+company; so that at last poor wrangling Stephen, for want of
+play-fellows, had no other diversion left for him, but to take a
+solitary ramble through the fields. His parents being informed of the
+disagreeable situation into which he had brought himself, and what a
+shy reception he met with from all the boys in the neighbourhood,
+thought it adviseable, after giving him a strict caution to behave in a
+more peaceable manner for the future, to remove him to a genteel
+boarding school, at a distance from home. If he had thought proper to
+follow their advice, and make a diligent use of the excellent
+instructions he received from his new teachers, he might afterwards
+have cut a shining figure in the world; but, as what is bred in the
+bone, seldom gets out of the flesh, so it fared with _Stephen Churl_.
+Though he was a little reserved at first, as being entirely among
+strangers, a short acquaintance with them made him very familiar--the
+affability and good nature with which they listened to every thing he
+said, soon encouraged him to be pert; and from pertness he proceeded to
+open rudeness and ill manners--until at last happening to be very
+mildly reprimanded by one of the young gentlemen, whose tenderness he
+misconstrued into cowardice, he commenced hostilities, as usual, by
+giving him an unexpected blow on the face. But his antagonist being
+possessed of as much spirit as politeness, returned the compliment in
+an instant; and conducted the engagement on his side with such vigour
+and activity, that our hero soon retired from the field of battle
+heartily drubbed, to make his complaint to the master, who, after a
+minute inquiry into all the circumstances of the fray, thought proper
+to reward him for the unnecessary trouble he had given himself, with
+the severest flogging he had ever received in his life time. Thus
+mortified and disgraced, the unfortunate _Stephen_ resolved upon an
+elopement; but, being ashamed to return to his parents, he rambled
+through the fields and woods, and scrambled over hedges and ditches,
+until at length having torn his clothes to rags, and being almost ready
+to perish with hunger, he eagerly listed himself into a gang of
+gypsies, and supped very heartily upon the remains of a roasted cat.
+The intolerable hardships he suffered, and the coarse fare he was
+obliged to put up with in this new situation, together with the
+frequent bangs and thumps which he received from the younger part of
+his strolling comrades, who were as quarrelsome and mischievous as
+himself, but abundantly more robust, soon broke his heart; so that he
+died in a barn, and was buried, like a beggar, at the expense of a
+little country parish." While the Bramin was concluding the history of
+Master _Churl_, my son _Jackey_, whose temper was rather too fiery,
+looked very sheepish; which his sister _Betsey_ observing, and easily
+guessing the cause of it, she desired him with a good natured smile,
+when we were leaving the room, to think on poor _Stephen_, and be sure
+to take warning.
+
+
+
+
+CHAP. V.
+
+_The comical and mortifying Transmigration of little Monsieur_ FRIBBLE
+_into the Body of a Monkey._
+
+
+After we had taken our leave of Master _Churl_, we were conducted into
+the apartment of Mr. _Pug_, a chattering young monkey, who, as soon as
+he saw us whipt his little hat under his arm in a crack, and seating
+himself upon his backside, welcomed each of us into the room by several
+ceremonious nods, which were intended to supply the place of a bow, and
+were accompanied by such a noisy affected grin, that it was impossible
+for us to forbear laughing--"This contemptible animal, said Mr.
+_Wiseman_, is inhabited by the little soul of the late Master _Billy
+Fribble_, a young gentleman of French extraction, whose friends came
+and settled in the country about fifty years ago. His play fellows
+dignified him with the humorous title of _the little Monsieur_, not so
+much on account of his diminutive stature, as for that trifling and
+finical behaviour which distinguishes the least respectable, though, by
+many thoughtless persons, the most admired part of the French nation.
+As neither his bodily nor mental faculties were very vigorous, his
+childhood was remarkable only for a certain effeminate vivacity, which
+continually displayed itself in such a noisy and insignificant
+prattling, as was very tiresome and disagreeable to every body in the
+house. When he grew older, he added to his former loquacity the most
+passionate fondness for fine clothes; so that in the twelfth year of
+his age, he became as complete a top as ever eyes beheld. He wore upon
+his head a macaroni hat about the size of a small tea saucer; his coat,
+which scarcely had any skirts to it, was of the most glaring colour he
+could fix upon; and his hair, which was plaistered over with powder and
+pomatum, was tied behind in a large club, which hung swagging upon his
+shoulders like a soldier's knapsack. Thus elegantly dressed, he
+strutted along the streets with a large stick in his hand about a foot
+taller than himself, and a small cutteau de chasse by his side, which
+he could handle with as much dexterity as his pen; an instrument in the
+use of which he had made such a contemptible proficiency, that it
+required as much acuteness to discover the meaning of his aukward
+scrawl, as to explain the hieroglyphick characters of the ancient
+Egyptians. What still increased the obscurity of every thing which
+Monsieur _Fribble_ undertook the trouble of penning, was that,
+excepting when he wrote his own name, he had a method of spelling which
+was peculiar to himself. He was equally famous for his skill in the
+useful science of numbers; for though, during the space of seven or
+eight years, he devoted to it a considerable part of that lingering
+time which he was forced to spare from his private diversions in school
+hours, the sum total of his improvement was, that he was scarcely
+capable of casting up the contents of a shoemaker's little bill. His
+highest ambition was, in the first place, to furnish himself with a
+large collection of complimentary phrases, which he had seldom
+discretion enough to apply with any tolerable propriety; and, in the
+next, to complete himself in the polite art of dancing, in which he so
+far succeeded as to be able to skip about with the most regular
+agility, though he never had a sufficient share of good sense to be
+able to dance with gracefulness. Thus accomplished, he excited the
+admiration of every silly coquette, and the envy of every fluttering
+coxcomb; but by all young gentlemen and ladies of understanding he was
+heartily despised as a mere civilized monkey. He performed every thing
+by imitation; and he imitated nothing (unless he was forcibly compelled
+to it) by which a rational being may be distinguished from a brute
+animal. But the species of imitation in which he most delighted, was
+that which, in the vulgar style, is called _mocking_; for he was not
+possessed of a sufficient stock of ingenuity to be (what he very
+frequently attempted to be) a clever mimick. If any of his schoolmates
+happened to be afflicted with an impediment in their speech, an
+accidental lameness, or the like; he had the mean barbarity to
+endeavour to aggravate the misfortune by a coarse imitation, which
+generally turned the whole ridicule upon himself. He once had the
+impudence to practise his mockery upon a worthy gentlemen in the
+neighbourhood, who was so unfortunate as to be unable to speak without
+stuttering. The gentleman happening to pass by Mr. _Fribble's_ door, at
+which our little monsieur was then standing with a magpie in his hand."
+"_Bi-bi-bill_, said the good man (after inquiring very civilly how he
+did) has that pretty ma-ma-mag learned to ta-ta-talk?" "Ye-ye-yes,
+replied the saucy fop, be-be-better than you do, or else I would wring
+his head off." "This rude and impertinent answer, which at first
+excited the laughter of some of the by-standers, soon gave them a very
+mean opinion of him, and he was afterwards despised by every sensible
+person, as a mischievous, unthinking coxcomb. What aggravated his
+punishment was, that he had so frequently indulged himself in the
+ungenerous and silly practice of mocking the imperfect pronunciation of
+others, that at last he himself contracted such a habit of stuttering
+as he could never leave off. This gave such a poor recommendation to
+the nonsensical things he was continually saying, that he became the
+object of ten times the ridicule which he had endeavoured to inflict
+upon those who had a _natural_ impediment. What was pitied in them as a
+misfortune, was despised in him as an ill-acquired and consequently a
+vicious imperfection; and therefore every one was willing to increase
+the mortifying smart of it, and keep alive the conscious shame he felt
+of wearing a fool's cap which was entirely of his own making. This
+vexatious, and in some degree, vindictive ridicule to which he was
+daily exposed, and which, in time, he might have softened and disarmed
+by an humble and penitent deportment, gave such an insupportable wound
+to his foolish pride, that he soon absconded from company, and died of
+a broken heart. That his soul might afterwards occupy such a station as
+would be most suitable to his character, it was sentenced to inhabit
+the body of that finical, grinning, and mischievous little mimick with
+four legs, which you now behold before you." As soon as the Bramin had
+finished his story, poor _pug_ (who seemed to retain all the little
+pride of Monsieur _Fribble_) grinned, chattered, and skipped about with
+a ridiculous resentment which was mingled with evident marks of fear;
+until at last, having agitated himself into a perfect passion, he made
+a hasty spring at his keeper, which, to his own abashment, and the
+laughter of my young companions, was as suddenly checked by a small
+chain that secured him to the floor.
+
+
+
+
+CHAP. VI.
+
+_The dismal Transmigration of Master_ TOMMY FILCH _into the Body of a
+Wolf._
+
+
+As soon as we had lifted up the latch to enter into the next apartment,
+we were immediately alarmed by a horrid howling; which upon opening the
+door we discovered to be the savage musick of a lusty young wolf, who
+looked as fierce as if he would have torn every one of us to pieces.
+But a strong chain confined his fury to one corner of the room; so that
+we could venture pretty near him without any danger of feeling the
+strength of his jaws. "This plundering and voracious animal, said the
+Bramin, who has been accustomed to gratify his appetite at the expense
+of all the farmers in the neighbourhood, is inhabited by the soul of
+the late Master _Filch_, who, as you will find by the sequel of the
+story, is now placed in a station which is perfectly suitable to his
+character. His very infancy was disgraced by a natural propensity to
+fraud and rapine; for as soon as he could talk plain enough to be
+understood, the chief employment of his tongue was to tell as many
+stories as his little head was capable of inventing; and that his hands
+might come in for their share of mischief, he never failed to make a
+property of all the sugar, fruit, tarts, &c. which the carelessness of
+the servants had left within his reach. If his parents had been wise
+enough to chastise him for his little roguery, they might have nipped
+it in the bud; but they were so imprudently fond, that they not only
+neglected to administer the discipline of the rod, but made his
+falsehood and pilferings the constant subject of their merriment. They
+considered his faults as trivial, because they were the faults of a
+child; not reflecting that if the seeds of vice are suffered to grow,
+they will in a shorter time than is commonly imagined, take such deep
+root in the heart, that it will be scarcely possible to eradicate them.
+Experience, however, soon undeceived them; for when little _Filch_ was
+eight or nine years old, though he had plenty of fruit at home, they
+had the mortification to be informed that he was making daily
+incursions into every poor man's garden in the neighbourhood. The
+consequence of these repeated complaints was sometimes a severe
+reprimand, and sometimes as severe a flogging; but neither the one nor
+the other were able to produce a reformation, though it is very
+probable, that if they had been applied in time, they might have been
+applied to better purpose. From robbing orchards he soon proceeded to
+the raising private contributions on his school fellows. Sometimes he
+defrauded them at play: sometimes he picked their pockets; and very
+frequently he stole their books, or money, out of their desks and
+boxes: and, as it is the study of every wicked boy to maintain the
+appearance of honesty as long as he is able, as soon as the robbery was
+discovered he was the first person to exclaim against it, which he did
+in the bitterest terms, and to prevent a long and circumstantial
+inquiry after the author of it (which he suspected would not terminate
+in his favour) he impudently pretended to have been an eye witness of
+the fact, and then boldly charged it upon one or another of his school
+mates, who he knew had neither skill nor spirit enough to contradict
+his evidence in a satisfactory manner. By this means the bashful
+innocent was frequently punished instead of the guilty. But as bad boys
+are seldom able to conceal their faults long from the eye of justice,
+young _Filch_ was soon detected in his wickedness, and being considered
+as a dangerous person, whose bad example might have a pernicious effect
+upon his play fellows, he was first corrected with all the severity he
+deserved, and then sent home to his parents. In this disgraceful manner
+he was dismissed from every school in the country, 'till at last,
+though he was only thirteen years old, there was not a single academy
+into which he could be admitted upon any terms whatever. But this was
+not the worst effect of the ill character he had acquired: for as no
+one is willing to introduce a lad of bad reputation into his house,
+there was not a tradesman of any credit to be found who would venture
+to take him as an apprentice, though a large premium was offered for
+that purpose. His parents, therefore, were under the disagreeable
+necessity of keeping him at home; but having little or nothing for him
+to do, he soon fell into bad company, who in as short a time gave him a
+perfect relish for the scandalous and expensive amusement of gaming and
+tippling. His finances, though sufficiently plentiful for a youth of
+his age, were by these destructive means so much encumbered with little
+debts, that to maintain a worthless credit among his worthless
+companions, he formed the wicked resolution of taking money from his
+father and mother without their knowledge. The success of his first
+attempt (in which he was not discovered, because he was not suspected
+to be capable of so much baseness) encouraged him to a second; and the
+success of his second attempt encouraged him to greater extravagances
+and more expensive risk than he had ventured upon before. But his
+wickedness, which in the former instances had been wrongfully charged
+upon the servants of the family, being at last detected, and his
+parents taking him very severely to task on account of such an
+abandoned and depraved conduct, he left them in a fit of anger and
+remorse, and became a thoughtless and unhappy wanderer; in this
+situation falling one evening into a company whose mirth and gaiety
+greatly delighted him, and whose genteel appearance led him to suppose
+they were gentlemen, though in reality they were no other than
+highwaymen, he was prevailed on in an unguarded moment, when heated
+with liquor, to make an incursion with this infamous banditti, and
+actually stopped a gentleman and demanded his money; fortunately,
+however for this unhappy youth, the gentleman was an old school fellow,
+and making himself known to him, with much intreaty prevailed on him
+immediately to leave the company of those desperate adventurers, and
+totally to abandon a mode of life so shockingly wicked in itself, and
+so dreadfully fatal in its consequences.
+
+"But from the idle and dissipated manner in which he had spent his
+time, he had contracted an unconquerable habit of indolence, and a
+rooted aversion to business; in this frame of mind, the army became his
+last resource, into which he entered as a common soldier, but after a
+short time his itch for pilfering returning, he could not refrain from
+making free with some money with which he was intrusted by his officer;
+being detected, he was punished with that rigorous severity with which
+thefts in the army usually are, and being afterwards thrown into the
+Savoy prison, to prevent a repetition of his crime, he died there in a
+few days of his wounds in the utmost misery. When the Bramin had
+finished this melancholy tale, the poor wolf, as if he was conscious
+how nearly it concerned him, heightened the horrour with which it had
+filled us by such a mournful and terrifying howl, as made us heartily
+glad to quit the room."
+
+
+
+
+CHAP. VII.
+
+_Of the wonderful Transmigration of Master_ RICHARD RUSTICK _into the
+Body of a Bear._
+
+
+In the next apartment into which Mr. _Wiseman_ conducted us, we saw the
+cub of a bear, who lay upon the floor to which he was chained, without
+having the good manners to rise when we entered; but when the Bramin
+applied his wand to young Bruin's buttocks, he heaved up his shaggy
+hide with a kind of lazy resentment, and saluted us with a reluctant
+grin and a savage growl, which plainly intimated that he did not think
+himself much beholden to us for our company. "This young brute, said
+our conductor, is animated by the soul of the late matter _Rustick_, of
+clownish memory. His father was a gentleman of rank and fortune, and
+greatly beloved and respected by all his acquaintance; and if his son
+Richard had possessed the same virtues and accomplishments, he might
+afterwards have enjoyed his title and estate with equal comfort and
+reputation. But as merit does not go by inheritance, like house and
+land, young _Rustick's_ character was entirely the reverse of his
+father's. He was of an awkward clumsy make; and the heaviness of his
+disposition, and the coarseness of his manners perfectly corresponded
+with the shape of his body. Though he was sent to school very early,
+and put under the care of the best instructors which the country
+afforded, he was a considerable time before he could tell his letters,
+and much longer before he could read with tolerable accuracy: and even
+then he pronounced every thing with such a clownish accent and such a
+drawling tone, that any stranger would have taken him for a young
+country bumkin, who had been used to follow the plow tail, and not for
+the son and heir of a wealthy gentleman. He was equally eminent for his
+neatness and dexterity in the art of penmanship; for, even when he was
+twelve years old, if you had seen the letter which he then sent to his
+mamma without the knowledge of his master, it was wrote so crooked
+(i.e. not from side to side as it ought to have been, but from corner
+to corner) and the strokes were all so coarse and uneven, and the whole
+of the letter so awkwardly spelt, and so unmercifully blotted and
+bedawbed, that you would have thought it had been the elegant epistle
+of _Tony Clodhopper_ to his grandmother _Goody Linsey Woolsey_. As for
+his mamma, poor gentlewoman! when she first opened it, she thought it
+had been sent to her by some impudent shoe black or chimney sweeper;
+but when she had directed her eyes to the bottom and read (though not,
+I assure you, without the greatest difficulty)--"_from yr, loven ind
+respactfle sun, Rickard Rostick_" she was so much oppressed with shame
+and vexation, that she tore the letter into a thousand pieces, and was
+ready to burst into tears. He was alike remarkable for the politeness
+of his manners, and his agreeable address; for he had such a
+treacherous memory, though he had been frequently reminded of the
+propriety and indeed the necessity of observing those little punctilios
+of good behaviour, that he seldom remembered when any company entered
+the room in which he happened to be sitting, either to rise from his
+chair or take off his hat; and when he was told of it either by his
+parents or his master, he would bounce up, and snatch of his hat in
+such an awkward hurry, grinning and leering the whole time, that you
+would have thought he had just started from a dream; and even then he
+would generally forget to finish the rude ceremony by making one of his
+ducking bows. It is true, indeed, he had been under the hands of a
+dancing master; but notwithstanding the utmost care and assiduity of
+his teacher, who was esteemed a very excellent one; he was never able
+to perform a whit better than he does in his present shape. In short,
+you might as well have kept a hog in training for Newmarket races, or
+an ox for his majesty to ride upon at a grand review, as have attempted
+to initiate master _Dicky Rustick_ in the elements of politeness and
+good breeding. With such a delicate disposition, and such amiable
+talents, you will readily perceive that he must have been a most
+agreeable play fellow. His favorite diversion was that which has been
+distinguished by the vulgar, by the well known name of _Pully Hawly_,
+in which he so much excelled that whenever he was invited by the young
+gentlemen and ladies in the neighbourhood to play with them, he
+generally rewarded their civility by tearing their coats or pulling
+their clothes off their backs before he returned home; so that at last
+they bestowed upon him, by general consent, the honourable title of
+_'Squire Bruin_. It must, however, be acknowledged that he was a youth
+of such impartial justice, that he shewed as little favour to his own
+clothes as to those of _other_ people; for what with climbing up old
+trees, and rambling over hedges and ditches, to seek for birds nests,
+he commonly appeared by dinner time, how well soever he had been
+dressed in the morning, in as ragged a coat as he wears at present. It
+must also be remarked, that if the young gentlemen and ladies soon grew
+weary, as indeed they did, of such a rough play fellow, he, in _his_
+turn, was as willing to leave _their_ company, as they were to be rid
+of _his_; for his chief delight was to associate with such vulgar boys
+and girls as were of the same rugged disposition as himself. With these
+he could pull and hawl and romp and tear as long as he pleased; and the
+more active he became in this raggamuffin species of diversion, the
+more they relished his company. But, upon occasion, he could fight as
+well as play: I mean when he either was provoked to it by his equals,
+or tempted to it by the hopes of defrauding of their little property
+those who he knew had neither strength enough nor courage to resist
+him. But whatever was his motive either for _beginning_ or suffering
+himself to be _drawn_ into an engagement, he was very far from
+confining himself to any rules of honour, or to the established laws of
+war; for instead of boxing fairly, he would kick, pull hair, bite, and
+scratch most unmercifully, and never fail to take every advantage of
+his antagonist after he had brought him to the ground. For these
+reasons he was soon dignified with the nick name of _Dick Bear_, even
+by the vulgar boys in the streets; and most of them afterwards took
+care never to engage with him unless when there were several other boys
+present to see fair play. One would think that such a rough hewn and
+slovenly mortal as we have been describing would have had little regard
+for any delicacies in the eating way. But whoever draws such a
+conclusion in favour of our hero, _Dicky Rustick_, is greatly mistaken;
+for I can assure you that he had as nice and dainty a tooth as any lady
+in the land. Though his father always kept a handsome table, it
+afforded scarcely any thing which was good enough for the palate of
+Master _Richard_. Nothing would go down with him but tarts, custards,
+and the most costly cakes and puddings; for as to good roast and boiled
+meat and plain and wholesome pies or dumplings, he would turn up his
+nose at them as if they were fit only for vagabonds and beggars. Nay,
+even to this very hour, and in his present clumsy shape, he is almost
+as dainty as ever; for he is remarkably fond of honey, and if permitted
+would often expose his shaggy head and his eyes to the resentment of
+the bees, by disturbing their hives to rob them of their delicious
+store. It was his fondness for niceties of every kind which shortened
+his days, and eased his parents of their apprehensions for a son who,
+if he had lived, would have been a continual plague and disgrace to
+them; for on the day when he entered into the fourteenth year of his
+age, being indulged rather more than common, he devoured such a
+quantity of the richest tarts, that his stomach could not digest them;
+so that he soon fell into a violent fever, which in a few days hurried
+his unworthy soul out of the body of a young country 'squire (for such
+he would have been) into the carcass of this hairy and awkward young
+monster which now stands before you. He so well understands what I have
+been saying, and is so much vexed at the character I have given of him,
+which he knows to be a very just one, that if you will promise to quit
+the room and leave him to himself he will pleasure you with one of his
+best dances before you go."--Accordingly after thanking the Bramin for
+the account he had given us, we all promised to leave Mr. _Bruin_ to
+his own meditation; upon which, after taking two or three sulkey
+rounds, the young savage reared himself upon his buttocks, and shuffled
+a saraband which lasted a few minutes. When he had finished his dance
+he swaggered down again upon his fore paws, and by a sullen growl
+seemed to claim the performance of our promise, an indulgence which we
+very readily granted him.
+
+
+
+
+CHAP. VIII.
+
+_Of the astonishing Transmigration of Miss_ ABIGAIL EVILTONGUE _into
+the Body of a Serpent._
+
+
+In the next apartment we saw a large wire cage, in which the Bramin
+told us he had a bird which was something different from the common
+ones; and so indeed it was, for upon my eldest daughter's going near to
+see it, she was startled by a large serpent which darted itself against
+the wires, and hissed and sissed as if it would have stung us all to
+death in an instant. It was however, a very beautiful creature of the
+kind, and as the sun then shone very bright, the golden and silver
+streaks upon its azure skin made a very splendid appearance. My
+youngest son wanting to go and stroke it;--"No, my pretty boy, said the
+good Bramin; if you have any value for yourself, you will always keep
+out of the reach of such creatures as these, and of all such who
+resemble the young lady by whose soul this serpent is animated. I say
+_young lady_, because the serpent before you is indeed animated by the
+soul of the late Miss _Abigail Eviltongue_. The family of the
+_Eviltongue_, (I dare say you have heard of them) is extremely
+numerous; for there are some, and indeed too many of them, in every
+town, and, I believe in every village in the country. Miss _Abigail_,
+the young lady I am speaking of, had as just a title to the name, and
+supported the character of her family with as much exactness as any one
+amongst them; for her tongue was remarkably active, and spared the
+reputation neither of friend nor foe. She was, it is true, a very
+handsome girl, and the charms of her person would have procured her
+many admirers if they had not been disgraced by her natural propensity
+to slander and defamation. In her very infancy, as soon as she could
+speak to be understood, she began with telling fibs of the servants,
+and very frequently of her brothers and sisters; for which, you may be
+certain, they all despised her very heartily. But as she was too much
+encouraged in this hateful practice by her parents, instead of being
+severely flogged for it, as she ought to have been, she set the frowns
+and sneers of the others at open defiance; and the more they resented
+her little malice the more eager she was to gratify it by loading them
+with all the falsehoods she was capable of inventing. In proportion as
+she grew older, this mischievous habit increased upon her; and when she
+was big enough to go a visiting, she indulged it abroad with as much
+freedom as she had been used to do at home; so that, in a short time,
+there was scarcely a young miss or master in the neighbourhood whose
+character she had not attempted to injure. What made her slanders the
+more odious was, that she generally vented them under a pretence of the
+greatest friendship and respect for the persons to whom she related
+them, and with great seeming pity for those whose reputation they were
+intended to destroy. She had likewise the malicious cunning to say many
+trifling things in praise of the objects of her censure; that by thus
+assuming an appearance of the strictest impartiality, and of the
+sincerest good nature, she might more easily gain credit to the bad
+things she said afterwards. By such artifices as these she frequently
+succeeded with the innocent and the unwary, and set one acquaintance
+and even one friend against another, without any sort of advantage to
+herself but the mere pleasure of making mischief. Another trick which
+she often employed for that purpose, was to examine into a young
+gentleman or lady's constitutional foibles (for we all have some) and
+when she had discovered these, to go immediately to the person and tell
+him or her, that master or miss _such a one_ had publickly ridiculed
+him for those very failings; by these means she was almost certain to
+be believed without any farther inquiry; for every one, even upon the
+slightest hint, will readily suspect that those things have been said
+of him, which he most wishes to be concealed, because he is conscious
+they are _really_ true; he will seldom trouble himself to inquire into
+the veracity of the tale bearer, lest he should be reduced to the
+necessity of defending himself on his weakest side. For a similar
+reason, when Miss _Abigail_ had a mind to flatter any person (which she
+frequently would, to answer the purposes of her malice) she always
+commended him for those particular good qualities, or accomplishments
+which she knew he most valued himself for, or chiefly wished to have
+the credit of; because she was sensible that by this method she
+effectually retained his own vanity as her advocate for whatever she
+said afterwards. Nay, I have been informed by one who knew her
+perfectly well, that, young as she was, she sometimes carried her
+artifice so far as to begin a dispute with the person she intended to
+deceive, and after a little sharp altercation _pro and con_ to flatter
+his vanity by gradually giving up the argument, and at last yielding
+him a victory, which gave him the more pleasure, because he thought it
+to be entirely owing to the invincible strength of his judgment. But
+she had another fault, which, if possible, was still more odious, than
+any of those already mentioned--viz. to revile and backbite those from
+whom she had received the greatest favours; for as she was too proud to
+own herself to be under obligations to any person, so to prevent others
+from taking notice of them, as she imagined to her disadvantage, she
+would represent every obligation she had received from her friends to
+be either of the most trifling consequence, or to have been bestowed
+from selfish and despicable motives. Such was the temper and behaviour
+of Miss _Abigail_, who was a wretched complication of malice, low
+cunning and ingratitude: It is therefore no wonder that every person of
+sense and character was careful to avoid her company, and that she was
+detested by many, and despised even by those who wished her well. In
+short, the general contempt to which she had exposed herself, and the
+severe mortifications she met with from time to time, gave such killing
+wounds to her pride, that after pining and wasting away with shame and
+vexation for the space of several months, she at last broke her heart
+and gave up the ghost, in the seventeenth year of her age. After her
+death her contemptible soul was immediately hurried into the body of
+this venomous serpent, where it still retains its former malice and
+cunning."--When the Bramin had finished his story, the serpent, as if
+she understood and resented what had been said, writhed about and
+hissed at him as if she could have stung his eyes out.
+
+We afterwards visited several other apartments, and saw a young tyger,
+a fox, a badger, &c. each of which was animated by the soul of some
+naughty child, who very nearly resembled him in temper. But as I have
+perhaps, already carried my treatise to such a length as will tire the
+eyes and the patience of my little readers, it is proper to bring it to
+a conclusion. I will, therefore, take my leave of them for the present,
+with observing that in one of the rooms we visited, we saw a pretty
+little parrot, in a gilt cage, who was perpetually talking, but did not
+understand the meaning of one single word he said. "This noisy bird,
+said the good Bramin, is inhabited by the soul of the late master
+_Gabble_, who was remarkable for two faults. He always spoke without
+thinking, and read a great deal with so little attention, that he made
+no farther improvement in knowledge than if he had never read at all.
+He devoured every thing, but digested nothing." If any of my readers
+happen to be of the same disposition, they may survey the gilt covers
+of this little treatise with as much advantage as they will peruse the
+contents of it.
+
+
+FINIS.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Vice in its Proper Shape, by Anonymous
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