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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Jingle Book, by Carolyn Wells
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Jingle Book
+
+Author: Carolyn Wells
+
+Illustrator: Oliver Herford
+
+Release Date: February 9, 2008 [EBook #24560]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE JINGLE BOOK ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Anne Storer and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
+produced from images generously made available by The
+Internet Archive/American Libraries.)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+ THE JINGLE BOOK
+
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+ The Tutor
+
+
+ A tutor who tooted the flute
+ Tried to teach two young tooters to toot.
+ Said the two to the tutor,
+ "Is it harder to toot, or
+ To tutor two tooters to toot?"
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+ THE JINGLE BOOK
+
+ BY
+ CAROLYN WELLS
+
+
+ Pictured by
+ OLIVER HERFORD
+
+
+
+ New York
+ THE MACMILLAN COMPANY
+ LONDON: MACMILLAN & CO., LTD.
+ 1901
+
+ _All rights reserved_
+
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+ COPYRIGHT, 1899,
+ BY THE MACMILLAN COMPANY.
+
+
+ Set up and electrotyped October, 1899.
+ Reprinted November, 1899; June, 1901.
+
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+ To Hilda's Child
+
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+ CONTENTS
+
+
+ THE TUTOR _Frontispiece_
+ PAGE
+ A SERIOUS QUESTION 1
+ TWO OLD KINGS 2
+ A DAY DREAM 5
+ OUR CLUB 7
+ PUZZLED 9
+ AN INTERCEPTED VALENTINE 11
+ A LONG-FELT WANT 13
+ THE MUSICAL CARP 14
+ THE INTELLIGENT HEN 15
+ THE HAPPY HYENA 17
+ A GREAT LADY 18
+ OPULENT OLLIE 20
+ THE TWO BEARS 21
+ THE MACARONI MAN 24
+ THE 4.04 TRAIN 29
+ A VALUABLE GIFT 30
+ THE GRANDILOQUENT GOAT 32
+ HOW THE CAT WAS BELLED 33
+ TRIANGULAR TOMMY 40
+ A MODERN INVENTION 45
+ AN APRIL JOKE 46
+ AN ALICE ALPHABET 48
+ THE FUNNY KITTENS 57
+ THE STRIKE OF THE FIREWORKS 60
+ THE ARCH ARMADILLO 63
+ A DREAM LESSON 64
+ THE RIVALS 68
+ THE NEW CUP 70
+ A PHOTOGRAPHIC FAILURE 71
+ CHRISTMAS GIFTS 73
+ YOUNG AMERICA 74
+ A BICYCLE BUILT FOR TWO 75
+ DOROTHY'S OPINION 77
+ ROLY POLY ROY 79
+ MY BAROMETER 85
+ THE BUTTER BETTY BOUGHT 86
+ A MARVEL 87
+ AN ALPHABET ZOO 88
+ FOUND WANTING 94
+ A TRAGIC TALE OF TEA 96
+ THE ERRATIC RAT 97
+ THE TWO FRIENDS 99
+ THE SMILING SHARK 102
+ THE MERCURY'S PLAINT 103
+ THE PIRATE POODLE 105
+ AN OLD LOVE 107
+ BOBBY'S POCKET 109
+ THE INSTRUCTIPHONE 112
+ THE LAY OF THE LADY LORRAINE 115
+
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+ The Jingle Book
+
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+ A Serious Question
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ A kitten went a-walking
+ One morning in July,
+ And idly fell a-talking
+ With a great big butterfly.
+
+ The kitten's tone was airy,
+ The butterfly would scoff;
+ When there came along a fairy
+ Who whisked his wings right off.
+
+ And then--for it is written
+ Fairies can do such things--
+ Upon the startled kitten
+ She stuck the yellow wings.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ The kitten felt a quiver,
+ She rose into the air,
+ Then flew down to the river
+ To view her image there.
+
+ With fear her heart was smitten,
+ And she began to cry,
+ "Am I a butter-kitten?
+ Or just a kitten-fly?"
+
+
+
+
+ Two Old Kings
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Oh! the King of Kanoodledum
+ And the King of Kanoodledee,
+ They went to sea
+ In a jigamaree--
+ A full-rigged jigamaree.
+
+ And one king couldn't steer,
+ And the other, no more could he;
+ So they both upset
+ And they both got wet,
+ As wet as wet could be.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ And one king couldn't swim
+ And the other, he couldn't, too;
+ So they had to float,
+ While their empty boat
+ Danced away o'er the sea so blue.
+
+ Then the King of Kanoodledum
+ He turned a trifle pale,
+ And so did he
+ Of Kanoodledee,
+ But they saw a passing sail!
+
+ And one king screamed like fun
+ And the other king screeched like mad,
+ And a boat was lowered
+ And took them aboard;
+ And, my! but those kings were glad!
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ A Day Dream
+
+
+ Polly's patchwork--oh, dear me!--
+ Truly is a sight to see.
+ Rumpled, crumpled, soiled, and frayed--
+ Will the quilt be ever made?
+ See the stitches yawning wide--
+ Can it be that Polly _tried_?
+
+ Some are right and some are wrong,
+ Some too short and some too long,
+ Some too loose and some too tight;
+ Grimy smudges on the white,
+ And a tiny spot of red,
+ Where poor Polly's finger bled.
+ Strange such pretty, dainty blocks--
+ Bits of Polly's summer frocks--
+ Should have proved so hard to sew,
+ And the cause of so much woe!
+
+ One day it was _very_ hot,
+ And the thread got in a knot,
+ Drew the seam up in a heap--
+ Polly calmly fell asleep.
+ Then she had a lovely dream;
+ Straight and even was the seam,
+ Pure and spotless was the white;
+ All the blocks were finished quite--
+ Each joined to another one.
+ Lo, behold! the quilt was done,--
+ Lined and quilted,--and it seemed
+ To cover Polly as she dreamed!
+
+
+
+
+ Our Club
+
+
+ We're going to have the mostest fun!
+ It's going to be a club;
+ And no one can belong to it
+ But Dot and me and Bub.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ We thought we'd have a Reading Club,
+ But couldn't 'cause, you see,
+ Not one of us knows how to read--
+ Not Dot nor Bub nor me.
+
+ And then we said a Sewing Club,
+ But thought we'd better not;
+ 'Cause none of us knows how to sew--
+ Not me nor Bub nor Dot.
+
+ And so it's just a Playing Club,
+ We play till time for tea;
+ And, oh, we have the bestest times!
+ Just Dot and Bub and me.
+
+
+
+
+ Puzzled
+
+
+ There lived in ancient Scribbletown a wise old writer-man,
+ Whose name was Homer Cicero Demosthenes McCann.
+ He'd written treatises and themes till, "For a change," he said,
+ "I think I'll write a children's book before I go to bed."
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ He pulled down all his musty tomes in Latin and in Greek;
+ Consulted cyclopædias and manuscripts antique,
+ Essays in Anthropology, studies in counterpoise--
+ "For these," he said, "are useful lore for little girls and boys."
+
+ He scribbled hard, and scribbled fast, he burned the midnight oil,
+ And when he reached "The End" he felt rewarded for his toil;
+ He said, "This charming Children's Book is greatly to my credit."
+ And now he's sorely puzzled that no child has ever read it.
+
+
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ An Intercepted Valentine
+
+
+ Little Bo-Peep, will you be mine?
+ I want you for my Valentine.
+ You are my choice of all the girls,
+ With your blushing cheeks and your fluttering curls,
+ With your ribbons gay and your kirtle neat,
+ None other is so fair and sweet.
+ Little Bo-Peep, let's run away,
+ And marry each other on Midsummer Day;
+ And ever to you I'll be fond and true,
+
+ Your faithful Valentine,
+ LITTLE BOY BLUE.
+
+
+
+
+ A Long-Felt Want
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ One day wee Willie and his dog
+ Sprawled on the nursery floor.
+ He had a florist's catalogue,
+ And turned the pages o'er,
+
+ Till all at once he gave a spring,
+ "Hurrah!" he cried with joy;
+ "Mamma, here's just the very thing
+ To give your little boy!
+
+ "For when we fellows go to school,
+ We lose our things, you know;
+ And in that little vestibule
+ They do get mixed up so.
+
+ "And as you often say you can't
+ Take care of 'em for me,
+ Why don't you buy a _rubber plant_,
+ And an _umbrella tree_?"
+
+
+
+
+ The Musical Carp
+
+
+ There once was a corpulent carp
+ Who wanted to play on a harp,
+ But to his chagrin
+ So short was his fin
+ That he couldn't reach up to C sharp.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ The Intelligent Hen
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ 'Twas long ago,--a year or so,--
+ In a barnyard by the sea,
+ That an old hen lived whom you may know
+ By the name of Fiddle-de-dee.
+ She scratched around in the sand all day,
+ For a lively old hen was she.
+
+ And then do you know, it happened this way
+ In that barnyard by the sea;
+ A great wise owl came down one day,
+ And hooted at Fiddle-de-dee,
+ Just hooted at Fiddle-de-dee.
+ And he cried, "Hi! Hi! old hen, I say!
+ You're provincial, it seems to me!"
+
+ "Why, what do you mean?" cried the old red hen,
+ As mad as hops was she.
+ "Oh, I've been 'round among great men,
+ In the world where the great men be.
+ And none of them scratch with their claws like you,
+ They write with a quill like me."
+
+ Now very few people could get ahead
+ Of that old hen, Fiddle-de-dee.
+ She went and hunted the posy-bed,
+ And returned in triumphant glee.
+ And ever since then, that little red hen,
+ She writes with a jonquil pen, quil pen,
+ She writes with a jonquil pen.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ The Happy Hyena
+
+
+ There once was a happy Hyena
+ Who played on an old concertina.
+ He dressed very well,
+ And in his lapel
+ He carelessly stuck a verbena.
+
+
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ A Great Lady
+
+
+ This is the Queen of Nonsense Land,
+ She wears her bonnet on her hand;
+ She carpets her ceilings and frescos her floors,
+ She eats on her windows and sleeps on her doors.
+ Oh, ho! Oh, ho! to think there could be
+ A lady so silly-down-dilly as she!
+
+ She goes for a walk on an ocean wave,
+ She fishes for cats in a coral cave;
+ She drinks from an empty glass of milk,
+ And lines her potato trees with silk.
+ I'm sure that fornever and never was seen
+ So foolish a thing as the Nonsense Queen!
+
+ She ordered a wig for a blue bottle fly,
+ And she wrote a note to a pumpkin pie;
+ She makes all the oysters wear emerald rings,
+ And does dozens of other nonsensible things.
+ Oh! the scatterbrained, shatterbrained lady so grand,
+ Her Royal Skyhighness of Nonsense Land!
+
+
+
+
+ Opulent Ollie
+
+
+ One Saturday opulent Ollie
+ Thought he'd go for a ride on the trolley;
+ But his pennies were few,--
+ He only had two,--
+ So he went and made mud-pies with Polly.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ The Two Bears
+
+
+ Prince Curlilocks remarked one day
+ To Princess Dimplecheek,
+ "I haven't had a real good play
+ For more than 'most a week."
+
+ Said Princess Dimplecheek, "My dear,
+ Your majesty forgets--
+ This morning we played grenadier
+ With grandpa's epaulets.
+
+ "And yesterday we sailed to Spain--
+ We both were pirates bold,
+ And braved the wild and raging main
+ To seek for hidden gold."
+
+ "True," said the prince; "I mind me well--
+ Right hardily we fought,
+ And stormed a massive citadel
+ To gain the prize we sought.
+
+ "But if your ladyship agrees,
+ Methinks we'll go upstairs
+ And build a waste of arctic seas,
+ And we'll be polar bears."
+
+ "Yes, if you'll promise not to bite,"
+ Fair Dimplecheek replied,
+ Already half-way up the flight,
+ His highness by her side.
+
+ "Princess, on that far window-seat,
+ Go, sit thee down and wait,
+ While I ask nursie for a sheet,
+ Or maybe six or eight."
+
+ A pile of sheets his highness brought.
+ "Dear princess, pray take these;
+ Although our path with danger's fraught,
+ We'll reach the polar seas."
+
+ Two furry rugs his lordship bore,
+ Two pairs of mittens white;
+ He threw them on the nursery floor
+ And shouted with delight.
+
+ He spread those sheets--the funny boy--
+ O'er table, floor, and chair.
+ "Princess," said he, "don't you enjoy
+ This frosty, bracing air?
+
+ "These snowy sheets are fields of ice,
+ This is an iceberg grim."
+ "Yes, dear, I think it's very nice,"
+ She said, and smiled at him.
+
+ And then they donned the rugs of fur,
+ The mittens, too, they wore;
+ And Curlilocks remarked to her,
+ "Now you must roar and roar."
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Dimplecheek looked out from the cowl
+ Formed by her furry rug.
+ "I'm 'fraid of bears that only growl--
+ I like the kind that hug."
+
+
+
+
+ The Very Merry Voyage of the Macaroni Man
+
+
+ This figure here before you is a Macaroni Man,
+ Who is built, as you may notice, on a most ingenious plan.
+ His skeleton, I beg to state, is made of hairpins three,
+ Which are bent and curved and twisted to a marvellous degree.
+ His coat-sleeves and his trouser-legs, his head and eke his waist
+ Are made of superfine imported macaroni paste.
+ And if you care to listen, you may hear the thrilling tale
+ Of the merry Macaroni Man's extraordinary sail.
+ One sunny day he started for a voyage in his yacht,
+ His anxious mother called to him, and said, "You'd better not!
+ Although the sun is shining bright, I fear that it may rain;
+ And don't you think, my darling boy, you'd better take the train?"
+ "Oh, no," said he, "no clouds I see,--the sky is blue and clear,
+ I will return in time for tea--good-by, my mother dear."
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Full merrily he started off, the day was fine and fair,
+ And to his great delight he found no dampness in the air.
+ You know if he gets wet, a Macaroni Man is spoiled,
+ And if he stands too near the steam, of course he may get boiled.
+ But our hero used precautions,--carefully he shunned the spray,--
+ And when the steam blew toward him, he just steered the other way.
+ Now, as the breeze was from the land, his course lay out to sea;
+ He sailed so far that he felt sure he would be late for tea.
+ He sailed, and sailed, and sailed, and sailed,--
+ he feared the dew would fall--
+ He tried to turn,--but oh, that steam! it would not do at all!
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ A single puff blew toward him, and it nearly cooked his face!
+ The mournful Macaroni Man felt sadly out of place.
+ But a happy thought occurred to him, "Ha, ha,--ho, ho!" said he,--
+ "I'll just sail on around the world,--and then, it seems to me,
+ I'll reach my home (according to a careful estimate)
+ In time for tea, although I'll be perhaps a trifle late."
+ Then merrily his gallant ship sped o'er the bounding main,
+ Quickly he crossed the ocean wide, he flew by France and Spain;
+ Covered the Mediterranean, spanned the Suez Canal,--
+ "I'll reach my home to-night," he thought, "oh, yes, I'm sure I shall."
+ He skimmed the Red Sea like a bird,--the Indian Ocean crossed
+ (But once, in Oceanica, he feared that he was lost).
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ He passed Australia on the fly,--cut over Capricorn,
+ And as the sunset gun he heard, he swung around Cape Horn.
+ Still at full speed, he sailed due north, he rounded Cape St. Roque,
+ Crossed the equator, and found out the Gulf Stream was no joke.
+ He coasted by the seaboard States. Hurrah! all danger past,
+ Quickly he sailed the last few miles and reached his home at last;
+ His mother welcomed him, and said, "I'm glad there was no shower;
+ But hurry in, my bonny boy, I've waited tea an hour."
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ The 4.04 Train
+
+
+ "There's a train at 4.04," said Miss Jenny;
+ "Four tickets I'll take. Have you any?"
+ Said the man at the door:
+ "Not four for 4.04,
+ For four for 4.04 is too many."
+
+
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ A Valuable Gift
+
+
+ Old Father Time, one day
+ In his study, so they say,
+ Was indulging in a surreptitious nap,
+ When from his drowsy dreams
+ He was wakened, as it seems,
+ By a timid but persistent little rap.
+
+ He yawned and rubbed his eyes
+ In indolent surprise,
+ Then slowly he arose from where he sat;
+ He opened wide his door,
+ And nearly tumbled o'er
+ The figure that stood waiting on the mat.
+
+ A tiny little dog,
+ With excitement all agog,
+ And angry eyes that seemed to flash and glower.
+ His manner was polite,
+ But he said, "I claim my right!
+ And I've called, sir, to demand of you my hour."
+
+ "Your what?" the old man said,
+ As he shook his puzzled head;
+ And the pertinacious puppy spoke with force:
+ "Well, sir, they often say,
+ 'Every dog must have his day,'
+ So a puppy ought to have an hour, of course!"
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ The old man shook with glee,
+ But he said obligingly,
+ "The dog days are all gone, I grieve to say;
+ But since you've come so far,
+ And so mannerly you are,
+ I'll give you just an hour--to get away."
+
+
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ The Grandiloquent Goat
+
+
+ A very grandiloquent Goat
+ Sat down to a gay table d'hôte;
+ He ate all the corks,
+ The knives and the forks,
+ Remarking: "On these things I dote."
+
+ Then, before his repast he began,
+ While pausing the menu to scan,
+ He said: "Corn, if you please,
+ And tomatoes and pease,
+ I'd like to have served in the can."
+
+
+
+
+ How the Cat was Belled
+
+
+ A fable told by La Fontaine,
+ Two centuries or more ago,
+ Describes some rats who would arraign
+ A cat, their direst foe,
+ Who killed so many rats
+ And caused the deepest woe,
+ This Catiline of cats.
+
+ The poor rats were at their wits' end
+ Their homes and families to defend;
+ And as a last resort
+ They took the case to court.
+
+ It seems they called a caucus wise
+ Of rats of every age and size,
+ And then their dean,
+ With sapient mien,
+ A very Solon of a rat,
+ Said it was best to bell the cat.
+
+ The quaint old tale goes on to tell
+ How this plan would have worked quite well,
+ But, somehow, flaws
+ Appeared, because
+ No one would hang the bell.
+
+ Though there the ancient fable ends,
+ Later report the tale extends,
+ No longer is the truth withheld;
+ Developments appear,
+ And so you have it here.
+ For the first time
+ Set down in rhyme
+ Just how that cat was belled.
+
+ The council, as 'twas getting late,
+ Was just about to separate,
+ When suddenly a rat arose
+ Who said he could a plan propose
+ Which would, he thought, succeed
+ And meet their urgent need.
+
+ Now as this rat was very small,
+ And had no dignity at all,
+ Although his plan was well advised,
+ We really need not be surprised
+ That all the rats of riper years
+ Expressed the gravest doubts and fears;
+ Till suddenly
+ He said, said he,
+ "If you will leave it all to me,
+ I will avow
+ Three days from now
+ That you shall all be free."
+ The solemn council then adjourned.
+ Each rat to home and fireside turned;
+ But each shook his wise head
+ And to his neighbor said:
+ "It is a dangerous job, in truth,
+ Though it seems naught to headstrong youth."
+
+ Now young Sir Rat we next behold,
+ With manner brave and visage bold,
+ Go marching down
+ To London town,
+ Where wondrous things are sold.
+ We see him stop
+ At a large shop,
+ And with the bland clerk's courteous aid
+ This was the purchase that he made:
+ A bicycle of finest make,
+ With modern gear and patent brake,
+ Pedometer, pneumatic tire,
+ And spokes that looked like silver wire,
+ A lantern bright
+ To shine at night,
+ Enamel finish, nickel plate,
+ And all improvements up to date.
+ Said sly Sir Rat: "It suits me well,
+ Especially that sweet-toned _bell_."
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ The shades of night were falling fast
+ When Sir Rat turned toward home at last.
+ The neighbors watched him as he passed
+ And said: "What is that queer-shaped thing?
+ Surely that can't be made to ring."
+ Sir Rat went on, nor stayed
+ To hear the jests they made;
+ And just outside the old cat's gate
+ He stopped and boldly braved his fate,
+ For if that cat
+ Should smell a rat
+ How quickly he'd come out and catch him,
+ And with what gusto he'd despatch him!
+ Sir Rat, against the picket-fence
+ Leaned the machine, then hurried hence,
+ And hid himself with glee,
+ And waited breathlessly
+ To see what that
+ Cantankerous cat
+ Would say, when in the twilight dim
+ He saw that brightly shining rim.
+
+ Sir Rat, though hidden quite,
+ And safely out of sight,
+ Had scarcely time to wink his eye,
+ When Mr. Cat came sauntering by.
+
+ "Ha! Ha!" said he,
+ "What's this I see,
+ A bicycle! and just my size!
+ Well, this, indeed, is a surprise!
+ I'll confiscate
+ This treasure great;
+ How quickly I'll fly o'er the ground
+ When I pursue my hunting round!"
+
+ He mounted it with eager haste,
+ It suited well his sporting taste;
+ He guided it at will,
+ And used the brake with skill,
+ He grasped the handle-bars, and then--
+ You see it was his custom when
+ He did a thing, to do it well--
+ Of course he used the clear-toned bell!
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Victory now! the deed is done!
+ No longer at the set of sun
+ The rats fly shrieking to their nests,
+ They saunter round with merry jests
+ And ne'er a thought of fear,
+ Knowing full well
+ They'll hear the bell
+ When Mr. Cat draws near.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ And young Sir Rat who did the deed,
+ Whose cleverness relieved their need,
+ His wondrous enterprise
+ Was lauded to the skies.
+ And everywhere his name
+ Was hailed with shouts of fame.
+
+ In difficulties, oft we see
+ Modern improvements frequently
+ Will prove a happy remedy.
+
+
+
+
+ The Rhyme of Triangular Tommy
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Triangular Tommy, one morning in May,
+ Went out for a walk on the public highway.
+ Just here I will say,
+ 'Twas a bright sunny day,
+ And the sky it was blue, and the grass it was green,
+ The same sky and grass that you've all of you seen;
+ And the birds in the trees sang their usual song,
+ And Triangular Tommy went trudging along.
+
+ But I can tell you
+ He cared naught for the view.
+ He did just what small boys of his age always do:
+ He shouted out "Scat!"
+ At a wandering cat,
+ And he picked a big daisy to stick in his hat;
+ The clovers he topped,
+ And the toadstools he cropped,
+ And sometimes he scuffled and sometimes he hopped.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ He took an old stick and poked at a worm,
+ And merrily chuckled to see the thing squirm;
+ When he chanced to look up, and in gorgeous array
+ Triangular Tilly was coming his way.
+ Triangular Tom straightened up in a jiff,
+ And put on his best manner--exceedingly stiff;
+ And as far as his angular shape would allow
+ Triangular Tom made a beautiful bow.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Triangular Tilly went smilingly by,
+ With a glance that was friendly, but just a bit shy.
+ And Tom so admired her that after she passed,
+ A backward look over his shoulder he cast.
+ And he said, "Though I think many girls are but silly,
+ I really admire that Triangular Tilly."
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ But soon all such thoughts were put out of his head,
+ For who should come by but Triangular Ted,
+ The very boy Tom had been wishing to see!
+ "Hello!" said Triangular Tommy, said he.
+ "Hello!" said Triangular Ted, and away
+ Those two children scooted to frolic and play.
+ And they had, on the green,
+ Where 'twas all dry and clean,
+ The best game of leap-frog that ever was seen.
+ Triangular Tom beat down this way, you know,
+ And Triangular Ted stood beside him, just so,
+ When one, two, three--go!
+ With the greatest gusto,
+ Ted flew over Tom in a manner not slow.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ They played hide-and-seek, they played marbles and tag,
+ They played they were soldiers, and each waved a flag;
+ Till at last they confessed,
+ They wanted to rest;
+ So they sat down and chatted with laughter and jest;
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ When Schoolmaster Jones they suddenly spied,
+ Come clumping along with his pedagogue stride,
+ As usual, with manner quite preoccupied;
+ With his hat on one side,
+ And his shoe-lace untied--
+ A surly old fellow, it can't be denied;
+ And each wicked boy
+ Thought that he would enjoy
+ An occasion the thoughtful old man to annoy,
+ And all of his wise calculations destroy.
+ So they thought they'd employ
+ A means known to each boy.
+ And across the wide pavement they fastened a twine
+ Exceedingly strong but exceedingly fine;
+ And Triangular Tommy laughed out in his glee,
+ To think how upset the old master would be!
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Although very wicked, their mischievous scheme
+ Was a perfect success; and with a loud scream,
+ A horrible clash,
+ A thump and a smash,
+ Old Schoolmaster Jones came down with a crash.
+ His hat rolled away, and his spectacles broke,
+ And those dreadful boys thought it a howling good joke.
+ And they just doubled up in immoderate glee,
+ Saying, "Look at the Schoolmaster!
+ Tee-hee! tee-hee!"
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Tom gave a guffaw,
+ And Ted roared a "haw-haw";
+ But soon their diversion was turned into awe,
+ For old Schoolmaster Jones was angry, they saw.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Triangular Ted
+ Turned swiftly and fled,
+ And far down the street like a reindeer he sped,
+ Leaving Tommy to face the old gentleman's rage,
+ Who quickly jumped up,--he was brisk for his age,--
+ And with just indignation portrayed on his face,
+ To Triangular Tommy he quickly gave chase.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ And hearing his squeals
+ And his frantic appeals,
+ Triangular Tommy fast took to his heels.
+ Now Tommy was agile and Tommy was spry;
+ He whizzed through the air--he just seemed to fly;
+ He rushed madly on, until, dreadful to say!
+ He came where the railroad was just in his way--
+ And alas! and alack!
+ He tripped on the track
+ And then with a terrible, sudden ker-thwack!
+ Triangular Tommy sprawled flat on his back--
+ And the train came along with a crash, and a crack,
+ A din, and a clatter, a clang, and a clack,
+ A toot, and a boom, and a roar, and a hiss,
+ And chopped him up all into pieces like this--
+ If _you_ cut out papers just like them, why, then,
+ If you try, you can put him together again.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ A Modern Invention
+
+
+ Old Santa Claus is up-to-date,
+ And hereafter, rumors say,
+ He'll come with his pack of glittering toys,
+ And visit the homes of girls and boys,
+ In a new reindeerless sleigh.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ An April Joke
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Oh, it was a merry, gladsome day,
+ When the April Fool met the Queen of May;
+ She had roguish eyes and golden hair,
+ And they were a mischief-making pair.
+ They planned the funniest kind of a joke
+ On the poor, long-suffering mortal folk;
+ And a few mysterious words he said,
+ His fool's cap close to her flower-crowned head.
+ Then he laughed till he made his cap-bells ring,
+ At the thought of the topsy-turvy Spring.
+ "'Tis a fair exchange," he said, with a wink--
+ "It is!" she said, and what do you think?
+ The flowers that should bloom in the month of May
+ Every one of them came on an April day!
+ And they looked for April showers in vain,
+ But all through May it did nothing but rain!
+
+
+
+
+ An Alice Alphabet
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ A is for Alice a-dressing the Queen.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ B is for Borogoves, mimsy and lean.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ C is the Cheshire Cat, wearing a grin.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ D is the Duchess who had a sharp chin.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ E is the Eaglet who barred out long words.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ F, the Flamingo, the queerest of birds.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ G is the Gryphon, loquacious and gay.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ H, Humpty Dumpty in gorgeous array.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ I is for Insects with curious names.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ J is the Jabberwock burbling with flames.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ K is the King who was whizzed through the air.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ L is the Lobster who sugared his hair.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ M, the Mock Turtle, whose tears freely flowed.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ N is for Nobody seen on the road.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ O is for Oysters who trotted so quick.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ P is the Puppy who played with a stick.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Q is the Queen who ran very fast.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ R is the Rabbit who blew a great blast.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ S is the Sheep, on her knitting intent.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ T, Tweedledum, with his noisy lament.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ U is the Unicorn, valiant in feud.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ V is the Violet, saucy and rude.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ W, the Walrus, addicted to chat.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ X, Executioner, seeking the cat.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Y is the Youth Father William surveyed.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Z is the Zigzag the mouse's tail made.
+
+
+
+
+ The Funny Kittens
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Once there were some silly kittens,
+ And they knitted woolly mittens
+ To bestow upon the freezing Hottentots.
+ But the Hottentots refused them,
+ Saying that they never used them
+ Unless crocheted of red with yellow spots.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ So the silly little kittens
+ Took their blue and white striped mittens
+ To a Bear who lived within a hollow tree;
+ The Bear responded sadly,
+ "I would wear your mittens gladly,
+ But I fear they are too gay for such as me."
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Then the kittens, almost weeping,
+ Came to where a Cow lay sleeping,
+ And they woke her with this piteous request,
+ "Won't you wear our mittens furry?"
+ Said the Cow, "My dears, don't worry;
+ I will put them on as soon as I am dressed."
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Then the Cow put on her bonnet
+ With a wreath of roses on it,
+ And a beautiful mantilla fringed with white;
+ And she donned the pretty mittens,
+ While the silly little kittens
+ Clapped their paws in admiration at the sight.
+
+
+
+
+ The Strike of the Fireworks
+
+
+ 'Twas the night before the Fourth of July, the people slept serene;
+ The fireworks were stored in the old town hall that stood
+ on the village green.
+ The steeple clock tolled the midnight hour, and at its final stroke,
+ The fire in the queer old-fashioned stove lifted its voice and spoke;
+ "The earth and air have naught to do, the water, too, may play,
+ And only fire is made to work on Independence Day.
+
+ "I won't stand such injustice! It's wrong, beyond a doubt,
+ And I shall take my holiday. Good-by, I'm going out!"
+ Up spoke a Roman candle then, "The principle is right!
+ Suppose we strike, and all agree we will not work to-night!"
+ "My stars!" said a small sky-rocket. "What an awful time there'll be,
+ When the whole town comes together to-night, the great display to see!"
+ "Let them come," said a saucy pinwheel, "yes, let them come if they like,
+ As a delegate I'll announce to them that the fireworks
+ are going to strike!"
+ "My friends," said a small cap-pistol, "this movement is all wrong,--
+ Gunpowder, noise, and fireworks to Fourth of July belong.
+ My great ancestral musket made Independence Day,
+ I frown on your whole conspiracy, and you are wrong, I say!"
+
+ And so they talked and they argued, some for and some against,--
+ And they progressed no further than they were when they commenced.
+ Until in a burst of eloquence a queer little piece of punk
+ Arose in his place and said, "I think we ought to show some spunk.
+ And I for one have decided, although I am no shirk,
+ That to-day is a legal holiday and not even fire should work.
+
+ "And I am of some importance,"--here he gave a pretentious cough,
+ "For without my assistance none of you could very well be put off."
+ "You are right," said the Roman candle, "and I think we are all agreed
+ To strike for our rights and our liberty. Hurrah! we shall succeed!"
+ The dissenters cried with one accord, "Our objections we withdraw.
+ Hurrah, hurrah for the fireworks' strike!" and they cried again, "Hurrah!"
+
+ Then a match piped up with a tiny voice, "Your splendid scheme I like.
+ I agree with all your principles and so I, too, will strike!"
+ Suiting the action to the word, the silly little dunce
+ Clambered down from his matchsafe and excitedly struck at once.
+ He lost his head, and he ran around among the fireworks dry,
+ And he cried, "Hurrah for the fireworks' strike! Hurrah for the
+ Fourth of July!"
+
+ With his waving flame he lit the punk--a firecracker caught a spark,--
+ Then rockets and wheels and bombs went off--no longer the place was dark!
+ The explosions made a fearful noise, the flames leaped high and higher,
+ The village folk awoke and cried, "The town hall is on fire!"
+ So the strike of the fireworks ended in a wonderful display
+ Of pyrotechnic grandeur on Independence Day!
+
+
+
+
+ The Arch Armadillo
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ There once was an arch Armadillo
+ Who built him a hut 'neath a willow;
+ He hadn't a bed
+ So he rested his head
+ On a young Porcupine for a pillow.
+
+
+
+
+ A Dream Lesson
+
+
+ Once there was a little boy who wouldn't go to bed,
+ When they hinted at the subject he would only shake his head,
+ When they asked him his intentions, he informed them pretty straight
+ That he wouldn't go to bed at all, and Nursey needn't wait.
+
+ As their arguments grew stronger, and their attitude more strict,
+ I grieve to say that naughty boy just yelled and screamed and kicked.
+ And he made up awful faces, and he told them up and down
+ That he wouldn't go to bed for all the nurses in the town.
+
+ Then Nursey lost her patience, and although it wasn't right,
+ Retorted that for all she cared he might sit up all night.
+ He approved of this arrangement, and he danced a jig for joy,
+ And turned a somersault with glee; he _was_ a naughty boy.
+
+ And so they all went off to bed and left him sitting there,
+ Right in the corner by the fire in Grandpa's big armchair.
+ He read his books and played his games,--he even sang a song
+ And thought how lovely it would be to sit up all night long.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ But soon his games grew stupid, and his puzzles wouldn't work;
+ He drew himself up stiffly with a sudden little jerk,
+ And he said, "I am not sleepy, and I love to play alone--
+ And--I--think--" the rest was mumbled in a drowsy monotone.
+
+ He leaned back on the cushions like that night he had the croup;
+ His head began to wobble and his eyes began to droop;
+ He closed them for a minute, just to see how it would seem,
+ And straightway he was sound asleep, and dreamed this awful dream!
+
+ He thought he saw a garden filled with flowers and roses gay,
+ A great big gardener with a hoe came walking down his way;
+ "Ah, ha!" exclaimed the gardener, as he clutched him by the head,
+ "Here's a fine specimen I've found; I'll plant him in this bed!"
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ He held the boy in one big hand, unheeding how he cried,
+ And with the other dug a hole enormous, deep, and wide.
+ He jammed the little fellow in, and said in gruffest tone,
+ "This is the bed for naughty boys who won't go to their own."
+
+ And then the dirt was shovelled in,--it covered up his toes,
+ His ankles, knees, and waist and arms, and higher yet it rose.
+ For still the gardener shovelled on, not noticing his cries;
+ It came up to his chin and mouth--it almost reached his eyes;
+
+ Just then he gathered all his strength and gave an awful scream,
+ And woke himself, and put an end to that terrific dream.
+ And he said, as Nursey tucked him up and bade him snugly rest,
+ "When I am planted in a bed, I like my own the best."
+
+
+
+
+ The Rivals
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Two well-built men, neither giant nor dwarf,
+ Were Monsieur Elims and Mynheer Nworf.
+ They lived in a town not far away,
+ And spent their time in work and play.
+ Now Monsieur Elims was loved by all--
+ By rich and poor, by great and small.
+ And Mynheer Nworf remarked one day,
+ "Brother, explain to me, I pray,
+ Why no one likes me as well as you,
+ No matter what I may say or do.
+ I have stores of knowledge packed in my head;
+ I am learned and wise and very well read;
+ I can dance, I can sing, I'm extremely polite;
+ I am worth a large fortune all in my own right.
+ But still,--and this question has caused me much thought,--
+ While I am neglected, you're everywhere sought."
+ Monsieur Elims replied: "My dear sir, that is true,
+ But you see, I am I, and you see, you are you.
+ If I receive praises and you receive blame,
+ 'Tis doubtless because each lives up to his name."
+
+ You'll find his defence rather puzzling, I fear;
+ But read their names backward--the meaning is clear.
+
+
+
+
+ The New Cup
+
+
+ "I've a lovely new cup from Uncle John,"
+ Said Dorothy; "only see--
+ It has beautiful golden letters on,
+ And they spell '_Remember Me_.'"
+
+ "Oho!" laughed Fred. "Why, Dorothy dear,
+ They put that on mugs and plates:
+ _I_'ve studied jography 'most a year,
+ And I know the names of the States.
+
+ And when you see that anywhere,--
+ At least, since this fuss with Spain,--
+ It's the President who puts it there,
+ And it means 'Remember the Maine'!"
+
+
+
+
+ A Photographic Failure
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Mr. Hezekiah Hinkle
+ Saw a patient Periwinkle
+ With a kodak, sitting idly by a rill.
+ Feeling a desire awaken
+ For to have his picture taken,
+ Mr. Hezekiah Hinkle stood stock-still.
+
+ Mr. Hezekiah Hinkle
+ Felt his brow begin to wrinkle,
+ And his pose assume a sad and solemn style;
+ But the Periwinkle trusted,
+ As the focus he adjusted,
+ That his customer would kindly try to smile.
+
+ Mr. Hezekiah Hinkle
+ Felt his eyes begin to twinkle,
+ And his mouth took on a broad and open grin;
+ Said the Periwinkle, sadly,
+ "If you stretch your jaw so madly,
+ I fear perhaps that I shall tumble in."
+
+ Mr. Hezekiah Hinkle
+ Felt his hair begin to crinkle,
+ As it rose up on his forehead in affright;
+ Though his comrade spoke so mildly,
+ Mr. Hinkle wondered wildly,
+ How he could escape this dire and awful plight.
+
+ Mr. Hezekiah Hinkle
+ Said, "I fear it's going to sprinkle,
+ And really for a storm I'm not prepared."
+ Then without a further warning
+ He politely said, "Good morning,"
+ And the patient Periwinkle stood and stared.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ Christmas Gifts
+
+
+ Ten Christmas presents standing in a line;
+ Robert took the bicycle, then there were nine.
+ Nine Christmas presents ranged in order straight;
+ Bob took the steam engine, then there were eight.
+ Eight Christmas presents--and one came from Devon;
+ Robbie took the jackknife, then there were seven.
+ Seven Christmas presents direct from St. Nick's;
+ Bobby took the candy box, then there were six.
+ Six Christmas presents, one of them alive;
+ Rob took the puppy dog, then there were five.
+ Five Christmas presents yet on the floor;
+ Bobbin took the soldier cap, then there were four.
+ Four Christmas presents underneath the tree;
+ Bobbet took the writing desk, then there were three.
+ Three Christmas presents still in full view;
+ Robin took the checker board, then there were two.
+ Two Christmas presents, promising fun,
+ Bobbles took the picture book, then there was one.
+ One Christmas present--and now the list is done;
+ Bobbinet took the sled, and then there were none.
+ And the same happy child received every toy,
+ So many nicknames had one little boy.
+
+
+
+
+ Young America
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Wee Willie sat a-thinking,
+ And he shook his curly head.
+ Around him on the nursery floor
+ His treasures lay outspread.
+
+ Firecrackers and torpedoes,
+ Trumpet and flag and drum,
+ Rockets and pinwheels and paper caps,
+ For Fourth of July had come.
+
+ "But it makes me sort o' sorry,"
+ Wee Willie said with a sigh,
+ "To think of those poor little English boys
+ Without any Fourth of July."
+
+
+
+
+ A Bicycle built for Two
+
+
+ There was an ambitious young eel
+ Who determined to ride on a wheel;
+ But try as he might,
+ He couldn't ride right,
+ In spite of his ardor and zeal.
+
+ If he sat on the saddle to ride
+ His tail only pedalled one side;
+ And I'm sure you'll admit
+ That an eel _couldn't_ sit
+ On a bicycle saddle astride.
+
+ Or if he hung over the top,
+ He could go, but he never could stop;
+ For of course it is clear
+ He had no way to steer,
+ And under the wheel he would flop.
+
+ His neighbor, observing the fun,
+ Said, "I think that the thing can be done,
+ If you'll listen to me,
+ You'll quickly agree
+ That two heads are better than one.
+
+ "And this is my project, old chap,
+ Around our two waists I will wrap
+ This beautiful belt
+ Of bottle-green felt
+ And fasten it firm with a strap."
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ This done, with a dignified mien
+ The two squirmed up on the machine,
+ And rode gayly away,
+ Or at least, so they say,
+ Who witnessed the wonderful scene.
+
+
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Dorothy's Opinion
+
+
+ Mamma has bought a calendar,
+ And every single page
+ Has pictures on of little girls
+ 'Most just about my age.
+
+ And when she bought it yesterday,
+ Down at the big bazaar,
+ She said, "What lovely little girls,
+ How true to life they are."
+
+ But I don't think they're true to life,
+ And I'll just tell you why;
+ They never have a rumpled frock
+ Or ribbon bow awry.
+
+ And though they play with cats and dogs,
+ And rabbits and white mice,
+ And sail their boats and fly their kites,
+ They always look so nice.
+
+ And I am sure no little girl
+ That ever _I_ have seen,
+ Could play with dogs or sail a boat
+ And keep her frock so clean.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ The Roll of Roly Poly Roy
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Once on a time a lad I knew--
+ His sister called him Bubby;
+ His cheeks were red, his eyes were blue,
+ And he was plump and chubby.
+ Indeed, he was so stout a boy,
+ Some called him Roly Poly Roy;
+ They called him that
+ For he was fat
+ And very plump and chubby.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ He caused his father grief profound,
+ And made his mother worry,
+ Because he'd roll along the ground
+ When he was in a hurry.
+ For as he couldn't see his toes,
+ He often tumbled on his nose;
+ So, on the whole,
+ 'Twas best to roll
+ When he was in a hurry.
+
+ "Get up!" the people urged, but he
+ Replied, "There's no use talking;
+ I roll around because, you see,
+ It's easier than walking."
+ And though it looked extremely droll
+ To see the lad lie down and roll,
+ It was, forsooth,
+ For that fat youth
+ Far easier than walking.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ One day he thought he'd try to ride;
+ Alas, he was so bulky,
+ He tumbled off the other side,
+ Which made him rather sulky.
+ He heard his comrades jeer and scoff,
+ Again he tried and tumbled off,
+ And when he fell
+ They'd shout and yell--
+ Of course it made him sulky.
+
+ Just out of town there was a place
+ With rolling ground and hilly,
+ And here Roy started for a race
+ With Dick and Tom and Willy.
+ You'll know of course before you're told
+ That Roy just laid him down and rolled;
+ And so, you see,
+ He easily
+ Beat Dick and Tom and Willy.
+
+ That day two giants came along
+ From Huncamunca Valley,
+ Seeking some tenpins good and strong
+ For their new bowling alley.
+ They reached the hilly sort of place
+ Just as our hero won the race;
+ "Look at him roll!"
+ They said. "He'll bowl
+ On our new bowling alley.
+
+ "The other boys are squarely built;
+ For tenpins they'll do finely!
+ No matter if a few get kilt,"
+ And then they smiled benignly.
+ Quickly they kidnapped ten small boys,
+ All howling with a fearful noise;
+ They took them all,
+ And Roy for ball,
+ And then they smiled benignly.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ They hurried to their home and then
+ Began their barbarous bowling.
+ They set in rows the children ten
+ And then set Roy a-rolling.
+ But as the giants were strong and great,
+ They shot poor Roy at such a rate,
+ And with such might,
+ That out of sight
+ Poor Roy was set a-rolling.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ He rolled and rolled and rolled and rolled,
+ But soon, his fears dispelling,
+ With happiness he did behold
+ He'd safely reached his dwelling.
+ Secure and safe from further harms,
+ His mother caught him in her arms,
+ And said with joy,
+ "My darling boy,
+ You've safely reached your dwelling."
+
+ Now rolling seems to him to be
+ More dangerous than walking.
+ And Roly Poly Roy you'll see
+ Along the sidewalks stalking.
+ He'll always have a certain fear
+ That giants may be lurking near,
+ And so he'll go
+ With motion slow
+ Along the sidewalk stalking.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ My Barometer
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ My little maid with golden hair
+ Comes each morning for a kiss;
+ And I know the day will be fine and fair
+ When Polly looks like this.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Or I know the clouds will frown and lower,
+ The skies will be dull and gray,
+ And perhaps there'll be a passing shower,
+ When Polly looks this way.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ But a violent storm of rain or snow
+ I can prognosticate,
+ For the sign will never fail, I know,
+ When this is Polly's pate.
+
+
+
+
+ The Butter Betty Bought
+
+
+ Betty Botta bought some butter;
+ "But," said she, "this butter's bitter!
+ If I put it in my batter
+ It will make my batter bitter.
+ But a bit o' better butter
+ Will but make my batter better."
+ Then she bought a bit o' butter
+ Better than the bitter butter,
+ Made her bitter batter better.
+ So 'twas better Betty Botta
+ Bought a bit o' better butter.
+
+
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ A Marvel
+
+
+ An old astronomer there was
+ Who lived up in a tower,
+ Named Ptolemy Copernicus
+ Flammarion McGower.
+ He said: "I can prognosticate
+ With estimates correct;
+ And when the skies I contemplate,
+ I know what to expect.
+ When dark'ning clouds obscure my sight,
+ I think perhaps 'twill rain;
+ And when the stars are shining bright,
+ I know 'tis clear again."
+ And then abstractedly he scanned
+ The heavens, hour by hour,
+ Old Ptolemy Copernicus
+ Flammarion McGower.
+
+
+
+
+ An Alphabet Zoo
+
+
+ A was an apt Alligator,
+ Who wanted to be a head-waiter;
+ He said, "I opine
+ In that field I could shine,
+ Because I am such a good skater."
+
+ B was a beggarly Bear,
+ Who carefully curled his front hair;
+ He said, "I would buy
+ A red-spotted tie,--
+ But I haven't a penny to spare."
+
+ C was a cool Chimpanzee,
+ Who went to an afternoon tea.
+ When they said, "Will you take
+ A caraway cake?"
+ He greedily took twenty-three!
+
+ D was a diligent Doe,
+ In summer she shovelled the snow;
+ In the spring and the fall
+ She did nothing at all,
+ And in winter the grass she would mow.
+
+ E was an erudite Ermine,
+ Who tried very hard to determine
+ If he _should_ earn a cent,
+ How it ought to be spent,
+ And decided to purchase a sermon.
+
+ F was a fussy Flamingo,
+ Who remarked to his family, "By jingo!
+ I think I would go
+ To that animal show,
+ But they all talk such barbarous lingo."
+
+ G was a giddy Gazelle,
+ Who never could learn how to spell;
+ But she managed to pass
+ To the head of her class,
+ Because she did fractions so well.
+
+ H was a haughty young Hawk,
+ Who affected society talk;
+ But when introduced
+ At a large chicken roost
+ He excitedly screamed out, "Oh, Lawk!"
+
+ I was an idle Iguana,
+ Who lived upon curried banana;
+ With tears he'd protest
+ That he never could rest
+ Till he learned to sing "Eileen Alanna."
+
+ J was a jimp Jaguar,
+ Who purchased a Spanish guitar;
+ He played popular airs
+ At _fêtes_ and at fairs,
+ And down at the Fancy Bazaar.
+
+ K was a kind Kangaroo,
+ Whose bonnet was always askew;
+ So they asked her to wait
+ While they put it on straight
+ And fastened it firmly with glue.
+
+ L was a lachrymose Leopard,
+ Who ate up twelve sheep and a shepherd,
+ But the real reason why
+ He continued to cry
+ Was his food was so lavishly peppered.
+
+ M was a mischievous Marten,
+ Who went to the Free Kindergarten;
+ When they asked him to plat
+ A gay-colored mat,
+ He tackled the job like a Spartan.
+
+ N was a naughty Nylghau,
+ Who wandered too near a buzz saw.
+ It cut off his toes,
+ And the shrieks that arose
+ Filled all of the neighbors with awe.
+
+ O was an ossified Oyster,
+ Who decided to enter a cloister.
+ He could not return,
+ So continued to yearn
+ For his home in the sea, which was moister.
+
+ P was a poor old Poll Parrot,
+ Who had nothing to eat but a carrot,
+ And nothing to wear
+ But a wig of red hair,
+ And nowhere to live but a garret.
+
+ Q was a querulous Quab
+ Who at every trifle would sob;
+ He said, "I detest
+ To wear a plaid vest,
+ And I hate to eat corn from the cob!"
+
+ R was a rollicking Ram,
+ Attired in an old pillow sham.
+ When asked if he'd call
+ At the masquerade ball,
+ He said, "I'll go just as I am."
+
+ S was a shy Salamander,
+ Who slept on a sunny veranda.
+ She calmly reposed,
+ But, alas! while she dozed
+ They caught her and killed her and canned her.
+
+ T was a tidy young Tapir,
+ Who went out to bring in the paper;
+ And when he came back
+ He made no muddy track,
+ For he wiped his feet clean on the scraper.
+
+ U was a young Unicorn,
+ The bravest that ever was born.
+ They bought him a boat
+ And they set him afloat,
+ And straightway he sailed for Cape Horn.
+
+ V was a vigorous Vulture,
+ Who taught animals physical culture;
+ When a pupil dropped dead,
+ The kind teacher said,
+ "You needn't consider sepulture."
+
+ W was a wild Worm,
+ All day he did nothing but squirm.
+ They sent him to school,
+ But he broke every rule,
+ And left at the end of the term.
+
+ X was a Xiphias brave,
+ Who lived on the crest of the wave.
+ To each fish he would say,
+ "Good day, sir, good day!"
+ And then a polite bow he gave.
+
+ Y was a young Yellowhammer,
+ Who raised a ridiculous clamor;
+ And he chattered until
+ An owl said, "Keep still!
+ I'm trying to study my grammar."
+
+ Z was a zealous old Zibet,
+ Toboggans he tried to prohibit.
+ If any one tried
+ To take a sly slide,
+ He ordered him hanged on a gibbet.
+
+
+
+
+ Found Wanting
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ There lived a wondrous sculptor once, a genius in his way,
+ Named Phidias Praxiteles Canova Merryday.
+ He sat within his studio and said, "I really must
+ Begin a Rhodian anaglyptic ceroplastic bust.
+
+ "My customers demand them, their fame rings near and far,
+ But then, alas, the trouble is, I don't know what they are.
+ Though I could carve a Venus or a Belvedere with ease,
+ My wondrous skill is lacking when it comes to carving these.
+
+ "I cast and cut and chisel, I model and I mould,
+ I copy poses picturesque from studies new and old;
+ In marble, bronze, and potter's clay, in wax and wood and stone
+ I carve the old-time statues with improvements of my own.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ "I have Apollo on a horse, Minerva on a wheel,
+ Hercules going fishing with his basket and his creel.
+ A Mercury on roller-skates, Diana with a hat,
+ And Venus playing tennis with Achilles at the bat.
+
+ "Yet these my customers pass by, and ask with interest keen,
+ For things with long and tiresome names,--I don't know what they mean.
+ And so I let my hammers hang, and let my chisels rust,
+ For I cannot do an anaglyptic ceroplastic bust."
+
+
+
+
+ A Tragic Tale of Tea
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ The Beetle was blind, and the Bat was blinder,
+ And they went to take tea with the Scissors-grinder.
+ The Scissors-grinder had gone away
+ Across the ocean to spend the day;
+ But he'd tied his bell to the grapevine swing.
+ The Bat and the Beetle heard it ring,
+ And neither the Beetle nor Bat could see
+ Why no one offered them any tea.
+ So, polite and patient, they're waiting yet
+ For the cup of tea they expect to get.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ The Erratic Rat
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ There was a ridiculous Rat
+ Who was awfully puffy and fat.
+ "I'll carry," he said,
+ "This plate on my head,
+ 'Twill answer in place of a hat."
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ And then he remarked with a frown,
+ "I suppose that I must have a gown;
+ I'll make me a kilt
+ Of this old crazy-quilt,
+ To wear when I'm going to town.
+
+ "And of course, though the weather is warm,
+ It may be there'll come up a storm;
+ An umbrella I'll make
+ Of a caraway cake,
+ It'll match with my whole uniform.
+
+ And I'll carry a bottle of ink
+ In case I should wish for a drink;
+ And this flat-iron so sweet
+ I'll take with me to eat,
+ And now I am ready, I think."
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ The Two Friends
+
+
+ A Spider and a Centipede went out to take a walk;
+ The Centipede said frankly, "I will listen while you talk,
+ But I may appear distracted, or assume a vacant stare,
+ Because to keep my feet in step requires my constant care."
+
+ Said the Spider: "I appreciate your most peculiar case,
+ And your feet must be quite handy when you want to run a race;
+ But though you gain in some ways, in some other ways you lose;
+ And, of course, my friend, you must be quite extravagant in shoes."
+
+ "Ah! yes. Ah! yes," a heavy sigh escaped the Centipede;
+ "And I have other trials, too;--my life is hard indeed!
+ Why, sometimes when I'm very tired, a long, long time it takes
+ To ascertain with certainty which foot it is that aches.
+
+ "And when I go to dancing-class on Saturdays at three,
+ I find the First Position very difficult for me.
+ Though I put my best foot foremost, and good time I try to keep,
+ To my chagrin, I often find a foot or two asleep.
+
+ Athletics I attempted, but, alas! I must admit
+ That every exercise I tried I put my foot in it.
+ I think I'll join a foot-ball team,--as many friends suggest,--
+ Before I've one foot in the grave and gout in all the rest.
+
+ But now I'll say good-morning; for, my friend, I have to stop
+ To get my boots blacked neatly at this little boot-black's shop;
+ And, as you may imagine, it will keep me here some time,
+ But, what is worse, I'll have to pay him many a hard-earned dime."
+
+ The Spider said good-morning, and pursued his way alone,
+ And as he went he murmured, in a thoughtful undertone:
+ "I'm a happy little Spider, and I'm very glad indeed,
+ That I was born an octoped and not a centipede!"
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ The Smiling Shark
+
+
+ There was an old Shark with a smile
+ So broad you could see it a mile.
+ He said to his friends,
+ As he sewed up the ends,
+ "It was really too wide for the style."
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ The Mercury's Plaint
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ I don't know why I'm slandered so,
+ If I go high,--if I go low,--
+ There's always some one who will say,
+ "Just see that mercury to-day!"
+ And whether toward the top I crawl
+ Or down toward zero I may fall,
+ They always fret, and say that I
+ Am far too low or far too high.
+ Although I try with all my might,
+ I never seem to strike it right.
+ Now I admit it seems to me
+ They show great inconsistency.
+ But _they_ imply _I_ am to blame;
+ Of course that makes my anger flame,
+ And in a fiery fit of pique
+ I stay at ninety for a week.
+ Or sometimes in a dull despair,
+ I give them just a frigid stare;
+ And as upon their taunts I think
+ My spirits down to zero sink.
+ Mine is indeed a hopeless case;
+ To strive to please the human race!
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ The Pirate Poodle
+
+
+ Once there was a Pirate Poodle,
+ And he sailed the briny seas
+ From the land of Yankee Doodle
+ Southward to the Caribbees.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ He would boast with tales outlandish,
+ Of his valor and renown;
+ And his cutlass he would brandish
+ With a fearful pirate frown.
+
+ So ferocious was his manner
+ All his crew looked on, aghast;
+ And his fearful pirate banner
+ Floated from his pirate mast.
+
+ He reiterated proudly
+ Naught had power to make him quail;
+ Yet when thunder roared _too_ loudly
+ He would turn a trifle pale.
+
+ And he turned a little paler
+ When there came a sudden squall;
+ For this funny little sailor
+ Was ridiculously small.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ And whene'er a storm portended
+ He'd betake himself below.
+ So much fear and courage blended
+ Did a pirate ever show?
+
+
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ An Old Love
+
+
+ Priscilla, Auntie's promised me
+ A brand-new Paris doll;
+ And though I love you, yet you see
+ I cannot keep you all.
+
+ Nursey declares I really must
+ Throw one of you away;
+ And you're the oldest, so I trust
+ You will not care to stay.
+
+ You've lost an arm, your dress is torn,
+ Your wig is all awry;
+ Priscilla, you are so forlorn,
+ We'll have to say good-by.
+
+ And yet--oh, don't! my dolly dear,
+ _Don't_ look so sad, I pray!
+ You precious dolly, come right here,
+ You _shan't_ be thrown away!
+
+ You're ragged, yes, and lame and blind,
+ You're really but a wreck;
+ But, dear Priscilla, never mind,
+ _I_ do not care a speck.
+
+ Your eyes do nicely when they're shut,
+ And I can mend the rest;
+ Well--p'raps I'll love the new one--but
+ I'll always love _you_ best.
+
+
+
+
+ Bobby's Pocket
+
+
+ Our Bobby is a little boy, of six years old, or so;
+ And every kind of rubbish in his pocket he will stow.
+
+ One day he thought he'd empty it (so he again could stock it);
+ And here's an alphabet of what was found in Bobby's pocket.
+
+ A was a rosy Apple, with some bites out, here and there;
+ B was a bouncing rubber Ball that bounded in the air.
+
+ C was a crispy crusty Cake with citron on the top;
+ D was a dancing Donkey that could jump around and hop.
+
+ E was a little robin's Egg, all speckled blue and brown;
+ F was a fluffy Feather that was white and soft as down.
+
+ G was a lively Grasshopper, whose legs and wings were green;
+ H was a grimy Handkerchief that once perhaps was clean.
+
+ I was a plaster Image that had lost its plaster head;
+ J was a jolly Jumping-Jack all painted blue and red.
+
+ K was a keen and shining Knife, 'twould cut the toughest bark;
+ L was a little wooden Lion, strayed out of Noah's Ark.
+
+ M was a Marble, large and round, with colors bright and clear;
+ N was a bent and rusty Nail, of little use, I fear.
+
+ O was a tiny Oil-can, which was always upside down;
+ P was a Penny Bob had saved to spend some day in town.
+
+ Q was a Quilted ear-tab, which had lost its velvet mate;
+ R was a Ring with a glassy gem of wondrous size and weight.
+
+ S was a String, a piece of Soap, a Stone, a Sponge, a Stick;
+ T was a lump of Taffy, exceeding soft and thick.
+
+ U, an Umbrella-handle, of silver-mounted horn;
+ V was a comic Valentine, a little creased and worn.
+
+ W was some sticky Wax, lovely to pinch and mould;
+ X was an old Xpress receipt, worn out in every fold.
+
+ Y was a lot of Yellow Yarn, all bunched up like a mop;
+ Z was a jagged piece of Zinc, found in a plumber's shop.
+
+ All these are Bob's possessions; he loves every single thing;
+ And owning all these treasures he's as happy as a King!
+
+
+
+
+ The Instructiphone
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ There was a youthful genius once, a boy of thirteen years,
+ Named Cyrus Franklin Edison Lavoisier De Squeers.
+ To study he was not inclined, for fun he had a bent;
+ But there was just one article he wanted to invent.
+
+ "It's a sort of a contraption which will work itself," he said,
+ "And, without studying, will put my lessons in my head."
+ He thought and puzzled o'er his plan, he worked with might and main
+ To utilize the wondrous schemes within his fertile brain:
+
+ Until at last the thing was done, and to his friends said he:
+ "It is the wonder of the age! Success I can foresee!
+ My great invention is complete, and--'tis no idle vaunt--
+ I'm sure that my Instructiphone will fill a long-felt want.
+
+ "The action is quite simple--I will try to make it clear:
+ This funnel-shaped receiver I apply to my left ear;
+ Then in this hopper I will put whate'er I wish to learn--
+ A page of history or of Greek,--and then this crank I'll turn.
+
+ "The topic goes into this tube, a sort of phonograph
+ Which acts directly on my mind,--it _does_, you needn't laugh!
+ I do not have to think at all, for, as I pull this chain,
+ My wonderful machine transmits the knowledge to my brain."
+
+ The plan was good, the works were fine, and yet there was a flaw;
+ When Cyrus turned the crank around, the neighbors watched with awe.
+ He confidently pulled the chain with motion quick and deft;
+ The knowledge entered his right ear--and came out at his left.
+
+ He tried again,--a page of Greek; he tried a theme occult,--
+ A message and an errand,--every time the same result!
+ Then Cyrus knew that somehow his machine had missed its aim;
+ For though the works ran smoothly it was always just the same.
+
+ No matter what the book might be, or what it was about,
+ It would go in at one ear,--at the other 'twould come out!
+ So in his laboratory, baffled Cyrus sitting lone,
+ Strives to correct the sad defect in his Instructiphone.
+
+ But it is my opinion, there's no fault in the machine:
+ The trouble is that Cyrus is like other boys I've seen.
+
+
+
+
+ The Lay of the Lady Lorraine
+
+
+ The Lady Lorraine was sweet and fair;
+ The Lady Lorraine was young;
+ She had wonderful eyes and glorious hair,
+ And a voice of a cadence rich and rare;
+ Oh, she was a lady beyond compare--
+ By all were her praises sung,
+ Till valley and plain
+ Took up the refrain,
+ And rang with the praise of the Lady Lorraine.
+
+ And besides all charms of form and face,
+ There were other attractions about Her Grace;
+ Besides her delicate, lily-white hands,
+ She had rolling acres and broad, rich lands;
+ Besides her patrician coat of arms,
+ She had far-reaching forests and fertile farms;
+ And of many an ancient and wide domain
+ The beautiful lady was châtelaine.
+ So of course at her door
+ There were suitors galore;
+ They came by the dozen, and came by the score.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ They came in droves, and they came in hordes,
+ Titled nobility,--princes, lords,
+ Dukes and marquises, viscounts and peers,
+ Ambassadors, marshals, grandees, grenadiers,
+ Barons and baronets, earls, and esquires,
+ Illustrious sons of illustrious sires:
+ But 'twas ever in vain
+ They sought to attain
+ The heart and the hand of the Lady Lorraine.
+ And day after day
+ They turned sadly away;
+ For the Lady Lorraine continued to say,
+ Decidedly, certainly, stubbornly, "Nay!"
+ She cared not for wreaths of laurel or bay,
+ Their titles or rent rolls or uniforms gay,
+ Their medals or ribbons or gaudy display,
+ Their splendid equipment, demeanor, or bearing;
+ She observed not their manners, nor what they were wearing;
+ Their marvellous exploits for her had no charms:
+ Their prowess in tourney, their valor at arms;
+ Their wondrous achievements of brawn or of brain,--
+ All, all were as naught to the Lady Lorraine.
+ To each suitor she'd say, with her hand on her heart,
+ "Sir, I ask of you only that you will depart."
+
+ In vain they entreated, they begged and they plead,
+ They coaxed and besought, and they sullenly said
+ That she was hard-hearted, unfeeling, and cruel.
+ They challenged each other to many a duel;
+ They scowled and they scolded, they sulked and they sighed,
+ But they could not win Lady Lorraine for a bride.
+
+ Now the reason for this, as you may have divined,
+ Was because in her maidenly heart was enshrined
+ The image of one who was just to her mind:
+ Who was loving and kind,
+ To whose faults she was blind,--
+ The lord of her heart, and the love of her life,
+ To whom she had promised to be a fond wife.
+ Her Highness was happy, for even now he
+ Was hastening to her across the blue sea.
+ He had written to say he was then on the way,
+ And would greet his fair lady on Christmas day.
+
+ * * *
+
+ 'Twas Christmas eve. In the old oak hall
+ Preparations were made for the Christmas ball.
+ Gay garlands were hung from ceiling and wall;
+ The Yule log was laid, the tables arrayed,
+ And the Lady Lorraine and her whole cavalcade,
+ From the pompous old steward to the scullery-maid,
+ Were all in a fluster,
+ Excitement and bluster,
+ And everything shone with a marvellous lustre.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Such savory viands the larders presented;
+ Such wondrous confections the bakers invented:
+ Such pasties and cates of eccentric design;
+ Such sparkling decanters of rarest old wine;
+ And ready at hand was the great wassail-bowl,
+ And the jolly old boar's head, with lemon, so droll.
+ The nook for musicians was carefully planned,
+ And carols and glees would be played by the band.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ At last all was ready. The workmen were done;
+ And awaiting the jollity, mirth, and frivolity,
+ The games and the dancing, the feasting and fun,
+ The old hall was empty,--save only for one,--
+ The Lady Lorraine, who surveyed it with pride,
+ And said, "It is worthy of Lord Cecil's bride!"
+ Then a bright smile illumined her happy young face,
+ Her roguish eyes twinkled, and gayly Her Grace
+ Crossed the old polished floor with a step light and quick,
+ And her high slipper heels went clickety-click.
+ She looked cautiously round,--she was all by herself;
+ Like a mischievous elf,
+ She took from a shelf
+ A mistletoe spray with its berries like pearls;
+ Then tossing her head and shaking her curls,
+ In a manner half daring and yet half afraid,
+ The madcap maid, with a smile that betrayed
+ Expectant thoughts of her lover dear,
+ Fastened the spray to the chandelier.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Then in a merry, fanciful mood,
+ Inspired by the time and the solitude,
+ The Lady Lorraine,
+ In whimsical vein,
+ Said, "On Christmas eve, 'neath this mistletoe bough,
+ I'll solemnly make an immutable vow."
+ With a glance at the portraits that hung on the wall,
+ She said, "I adjure ye to witness, all:
+ I vow by the names that I've long revered,--
+ By my great-great-grandfather's great gray beard,
+ By my father's sword, by my uncle's hat,
+ By my spinster aunt's Angora cat,
+ By my ancient grandame's buckled shoes,
+ By my uncle Gregory's marvellous brews,
+ By Sir Sydney's wig,
+ And his ruff so big,--
+ Indeed, by his whole preposterous rig,--
+ By the scutcheon and crest, and all the rest
+ Of the signs of my house, I vow this vow:
+ That whoever beneath this mistletoe bough
+ Shall first kiss me, he--none but he--
+ My partner for life shall henceforth be."
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ She had scarcely ceased when she heard a sound.
+ She looked around,
+ And, startled, found
+ From the old oak chimney place it came.
+ For there, as if in an old oak frame,
+ A figure quaint, yet familiar too,
+ Met her astonished, bewildered view.
+ Of aspect merry, yet something weird,
+ With kind blue eyes and a long white beard,
+ Fur-trimmed cloak, and a peakèd cap,
+ Rosy cheeks,--a jolly old chap;
+ And, though surprised, she recognized
+ St. Nicholas, dear to her childhood days,
+ And she met his smile with a welcome gaze.
+
+ The jolly old man beheld Her Grace,
+ With her laughing eyes and her winsome face;
+ He couldn't resist her,--
+ Indeed, who could?--
+ And he heartily kissed her
+ Where she stood!
+ And exultingly cried, "I heard your vow;
+ And Lady Lorraine shall be _my_ bride now!"
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ The lady trembled, as in a daze;
+ With a startled gaze of blank amaze,
+ She looked at the figure who stood by her side
+ And audaciously claimed her for his bride.
+
+ Then she bowed her head
+ And the color fled
+ From the cheeks that his kiss had flushed rosy red.
+ Her heart was filled with a sad despair
+ As she thought of her lover, Lord Cecil Clare,
+ And his dire dismay
+ When on Christmas day
+ He should ride up gayly in brave array,
+ And find his sweetheart stolen away.
+
+ But the honor and pride of her race were at stake;
+ And for conscience' sake
+ She dared not break
+ Her solemn vow, though her heart might ache.
+ To be true to her word, her sire had taught her,
+ And she was a loyal, obedient daughter.
+ She appealed to the portraits of squires and dames,
+ Who looked sternly down from their gilded frames;
+ But they seemed to say, "There must ne'er be broken
+ A promise or vow a Lorraine has spoken."
+
+ With stifled sighs, and with tears in her eyes,
+ Though she tried to assume a cheerful guise,
+ She turned to the suitor who stood apart,
+ Awaiting the gift of her hand and heart;
+ And she said with a gentle, dignified air:
+ "My heart belongs to Lord Cecil Clare;
+ But my fatal vow,
+ Though I rue it now,
+ I dare not break. So, at your command,
+ I fulfil it! On you I bestow my hand."
+
+ "O noble lady!" her suitor cried,
+ "'Twas only a merry test I tried.
+ Full well I knew
+ That your heart was true.
+ Behold your lover, my bonny bride!
+ I assumed this guise for a Christmas joke."
+ And as he spoke,
+ He threw off his cloak,
+ He flung to the floor his peakèd hood,
+ And a gallant knight before her stood!
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ He doffed his wig and his long white beard;
+ All signs of St. Nicholas disappeared;
+ And smiling there, in the firelight's glare,
+ Was the gay and noble Lord Cecil Clare!
+
+ The lady marvelled--a glad surprise
+ Betokened itself in her lovely eyes;
+ And with her merriment quite restored,
+ She said, "You are welcome home, my lord;
+ And I'm thankful, now,
+ That I kept my vow."
+
+ Lord Cecil raised her hand to his lips,
+ And gallantly kissed her finger tips;
+ While the squires and dames
+ Looked down from their frames,
+ And "Bless you, my children!" they seemed to say.
+ Then the band appeared, and began to play;
+ The guests arrived, and without delay
+ The fun commenced, and the old oak hall
+ Never had known such a Christmas ball!
+ The feast was spread,
+ And the dance was led
+ By the knight and the lady, and every one said,
+ With a shout that rent the midnight air,
+ "Long live Lord Cecil and Lady Clare!"
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Jingle Book, by Carolyn Wells
+
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+ The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Jingle Book, by Carolyn Wells.
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+<pre>
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Jingle Book, by Carolyn Wells
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Jingle Book
+
+Author: Carolyn Wells
+
+Illustrator: Oliver Herford
+
+Release Date: February 9, 2008 [EBook #24560]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE JINGLE BOOK ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Anne Storer and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
+produced from images generously made available by The
+Internet Archive/American Libraries.)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+<div class="box">
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+
+<h1><a name="tutor" id="tutor"></a>THE JINGLE BOOK</h1>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 401px;">
+<img src="images/img5.jpg" width="401" height="450" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<div style="margin-top: -30em; margin-left: 15em; margin-right: 10em; margin-bottom: 18em;">
+
+<h2>The Tutor</h2>
+
+<p class="poem">
+A tutor who tooted the flute<br />
+Tried to teach two young tooters to toot.<br />
+Said the two to the tutor,<br />
+&ldquo;Is it harder to toot, or<br />
+To tutor two tooters to toot?&rdquo;</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<h6>THE JINGLE BOOK</h6>
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+
+<p class="center"><strong>BY</strong><br />
+<span class="lge">CAROLYN WELLS</span></p>
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+
+<p class="center"><strong>Pictured by</strong><br />
+<span class="lge1">OLIVER HERFORD</span></p>
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+
+<p class="center"><strong>New York</strong><br />
+<span class="lge">THE MACMILLAN COMPANY</span><br />
+<strong>LONDON: MACMILLAN &amp; CO., <span class="smcap">Ltd</span>.<br />
+1901</strong></p>
+
+<p class="center"><em>All rights reserved</em></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+
+<p class="center">
+<span class="smcap">Copyright, 1899,</span><br />
+<span class="smcap">By</span> THE MACMILLAN COMPANY.</p>
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+
+<p class="sml">Set up and electrotyped October, 1899.
+Reprinted November, 1899; June, 1901.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+
+<p class="center"><span class="lge">To Hilda&#8217;s Child</span></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+
+<h2>CONTENTS</h2>
+
+
+<div class='center'>
+<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" summary="">
+
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#tutor"><span class="smcap">The Tutor</span></a></td> <td align='right'><em>Frontispiece</em></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'></td> <td align='right'><span class="smcap">page</span></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_1"><span class="smcap">A Serious Question</span></a></td> <td align='right'>1</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_2"><span class="smcap">Two Old Kings</span></a></td> <td align='right'>2</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_5"><span class="smcap">A Day Dream</span></a></td> <td align='right'>5</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_7"><span class="smcap">Our Club</span></a></td> <td align='right'>7</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_9"><span class="smcap">Puzzled</span></a></td> <td align='right'>9</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_11"><span class="smcap">An Intercepted Valentine</span></a></td> <td align='right'>11</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_13"><span class="smcap">A Long-Felt Want</span></a></td> <td align='right'>13</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_14"><span class="smcap">The Musical Carp</span></a></td> <td align='right'>14</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_15"><span class="smcap">The Intelligent Hen</span></a></td> <td align='right'>15</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_17"><span class="smcap">The Happy Hyena</span></a></td> <td align='right'>17</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_18"><span class="smcap">A Great Lady</span></a></td> <td align='right'>18</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_20"><span class="smcap">Opulent Ollie</span></a></td> <td align='right'>20</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_21"><span class="smcap">The Two Bears</span></a></td> <td align='right'>21</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_24"><span class="smcap">The Macaroni Man</span></a></td> <td align='right'>24</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_29"><span class="smcap">The 4.04 Train</span></a></td> <td align='right'>29</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_30"><span class="smcap">A Valuable Gift</span></a></td> <td align='right'>30</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_32"><span class="smcap">The Grandiloquent Goat</span></a></td> <td align='right'>32</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_33"><span class="smcap">How the Cat was belled</span></a></td> <td align='right'>33</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_40"><span class="smcap">Triangular Tommy</span></a></td> <td align='right'>40</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_45"><span class="smcap">A Modern Invention</span></a></td> <td align='right'>45</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_46"><span class="smcap">An April Joke</span></a></td> <td align='right'>46</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_48"><span class="smcap">An Alice Alphabet</span></a></td> <td align='right'>48</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_57"><span class="smcap">The Funny Kittens</span></a></td> <td align='right'>57</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_60"><span class="smcap">The Strike of the Fireworks</span></a></td> <td align='right'>60</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_63"><span class="smcap">The Arch Armadillo</span></a></td> <td align='right'>63</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_64"><span class="smcap">A Dream Lesson</span></a></td> <td align='right'>64</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_68"><span class="smcap">The Rivals</span></a></td> <td align='right'>68</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_70"><span class="smcap">The New Cup</span></a></td> <td align='right'>70</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_71"><span class="smcap">A Photographic Failure</span></a></td> <td align='right'>71</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_73"><span class="smcap">Christmas Gifts</span></a></td> <td align='right'>73</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_74"><span class="smcap">Young America</span></a></td> <td align='right'>74</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_75"><span class="smcap">A Bicycle built for Two</span></a></td> <td align='right'>75</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_77"><span class="smcap">Dorothy&#8217;s Opinion</span></a></td> <td align='right'>77</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_79"><span class="smcap">Roly Poly Roy</span></a></td> <td align='right'>79</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_85"><span class="smcap">My Barometer</span></a></td> <td align='right'>85</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_86"><span class="smcap">The Butter Betty bought</span></a></td> <td align='right'>86</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_87"><span class="smcap">A Marvel</span></a></td> <td align='right'>87</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_88"><span class="smcap">An Alphabet Zoo</span></a></td> <td align='right'>88</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_94"><span class="smcap">Found Wanting</span></a></td> <td align='right'>94</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_96"><span class="smcap">A Tragic Tale of Tea</span></a></td> <td align='right'>96</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_97"><span class="smcap">The Erratic Rat</span></a></td> <td align='right'>97</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_99"><span class="smcap">The Two Friends</span></a></td> <td align='right'>99</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_102"><span class="smcap">The Smiling Shark</span></a></td> <td align='right'>102</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_103"><span class="smcap">The Mercury&#8217;s Plaint</span></a></td> <td align='right'>103</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_105"><span class="smcap">The Pirate Poodle</span></a></td> <td align='right'>105</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_107"><span class="smcap">An Old Love</span></a></td> <td align='right'>107</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_109"><span class="smcap">Bobby&#8217;s Pocket</span></a></td> <td align='right'>109</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_112"><span class="smcap">The Instructiphone</span></a></td> <td align='right'>112</td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><a href="#Page_115"><span class="smcap">The Lay of the Lady Lorraine</span></a></td> <td align='right'>115</td> </tr>
+</table></div>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 95%;" />
+
+
+<h2>The Jingle Book</h2>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[Pg 1]</a></span></p>
+<h2>A Serious Question</h2>
+
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 211px; margin-right: 5em;">
+<img src="images/img14-2.png" width="211" height="300" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem1">A kitten went a-walking<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">One morning in July,</span><br />
+And idly fell a-talking<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">With a great big butterfly.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem1">The kitten&#8217;s tone was airy,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The butterfly would scoff;</span><br />
+When there came along a fairy<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Who whisked his wings right off.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem1">And then&mdash;for it is written<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Fairies can do such things&mdash;</span><br />
+Upon the startled kitten<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">She stuck the yellow wings.</span></p>
+
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 295px;">
+<img src="images/img14-1.png" width="295" height="300" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem">The kitten felt a quiver,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">She rose into the air,</span><br />
+Then flew down to the river<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">To view her image there.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem">With fear her heart was smitten,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And she began to cry,</span><br />
+&ldquo;Am I a butter-kitten?<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Or just a kitten-fly?&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[Pg 2]</a></span></p>
+<h2>Two Old Kings</h2>
+
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 356px;">
+<img src="images/img15-1.png" width="356" height="300" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">Oh! the King of Kanoodledum<br />
+And the King of Kanoodledee,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">They went to sea</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">In a jigamaree&mdash;</span><br />
+A full-rigged jigamaree.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[Pg 3]</a></span></p>
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">And one king couldn&#8217;t steer,<br />
+And the other, no more could he;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">So they both upset</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And they both got wet,</span><br />
+As wet as wet could be.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 350px;">
+<img src="images/img16-1.png" width="350" height="300" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">And one king couldn&#8217;t swim<br />
+And the other, he couldn&#8217;t, too;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">So they had to float,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">While their empty boat</span><br />
+Danced away o&#8217;er the sea so blue.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[Pg 4]</a></span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">Then the King of Kanoodledum<br />
+He turned a trifle pale,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And so did he</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Of Kanoodledee,</span><br />
+But they saw a passing sail!</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">And one king screamed like fun<br />
+And the other king screeched like mad,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And a boat was lowered</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And took them aboard;</span><br />
+And, my! but those kings were glad!</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 228px;">
+<img src="images/img17-1.png" width="228" height="200" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 299px;">
+<img src="images/img18-1.png" width="299" height="350" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<h2>A Day Dream</h2>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+Polly&#8217;s patchwork&mdash;oh, dear me!&mdash;<br />
+Truly is a sight to see.<br />
+Rumpled, crumpled, soiled, and frayed&mdash;<br />
+Will the quilt be ever made?<br />
+See the stitches yawning wide&mdash;<br />
+Can it be that Polly <em>tried</em>?</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</a></span>
+Some are right and some are wrong,<br />
+Some too short and some too long,<br />
+Some too loose and some too tight;<br />
+Grimy smudges on the white,<br />
+And a tiny spot of red,<br />
+Where poor Polly&#8217;s finger bled.<br />
+Strange such pretty, dainty blocks&mdash;<br />
+Bits of Polly&#8217;s summer frocks&mdash;<br />
+Should have proved so hard to sew,<br />
+And the cause of so much woe!</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+One day it was <em>very</em> hot,<br />
+And the thread got in a knot,<br />
+Drew the seam up in a heap&mdash;<br />
+Polly calmly fell asleep.<br />
+Then she had a lovely dream;<br />
+Straight and even was the seam,<br />
+Pure and spotless was the white;<br />
+All the blocks were finished quite&mdash;<br />
+Each joined to another one.<br />
+Lo, behold! the quilt was done,&mdash;<br />
+Lined and quilted,&mdash;and it seemed<br />
+To cover Polly as she dreamed!</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</a></span>
+<h2>Our Club</h2>
+
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+We&#8217;re going to have the mostest fun!<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">It&#8217;s going to be a club;</span><br />
+And no one can belong to it<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">But Dot and me and Bub.</span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 352px;">
+<img src="images/img20-1.png" width="352" height="300" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+We thought we&#8217;d have a Reading Club,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">But couldn&#8217;t &#8217;cause, you see,</span><br />
+Not one of us knows how to read&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Not Dot nor Bub nor me.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</a></span>
+And then we said a Sewing Club,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">But thought we&#8217;d better not;</span><br />
+&#8217;Cause none of us knows how to sew&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Not me nor Bub nor Dot.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+And so it&#8217;s just a Playing Club,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">We play till time for tea;</span><br />
+And, oh, we have the bestest times!<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Just Dot and Bub and me.</span></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</a></span>
+<h2>Puzzled</h2>
+
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 7em;">
+There lived in ancient Scribbletown a wise old writer-man,<br />
+Whose name was Homer Cicero Demosthenes McCann.<br />
+He&#8217;d written treatises and themes till, &ldquo;For a change,&rdquo; he said,<br />
+&ldquo;I think I&#8217;ll write a children&#8217;s book before I go to bed.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 252px;">
+<img src="images/img22-1.png" width="252" height="300" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 7em;">
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</a></span>
+He pulled down all his musty tomes in Latin and in Greek;<br />
+Consulted cyclop&aelig;dias and manuscripts antique,<br />
+Essays in Anthropology, studies in counterpoise&mdash;<br />
+&ldquo;For these,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;are useful lore for little girls and boys.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 7em;">
+He scribbled hard, and scribbled fast, he burned the midnight oil,<br />
+And when he reached &ldquo;The End&rdquo; he felt rewarded for his toil;<br />
+He said, &ldquo;This charming Children&#8217;s Book is greatly to my credit.&rdquo;<br />
+And now he&#8217;s sorely puzzled that no child has ever read it.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</a></span>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 310px;">
+<img src="images/img24-1.png" width="310" height="300" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<h2>An Intercepted Valentine</h2>
+
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 10em;">
+Little Bo-Peep, will you be mine?<br />
+I want you for my Valentine.<br />
+You are my choice of all the girls,<br />
+With your blushing cheeks and your fluttering curls,<br />
+With your ribbons gay and your kirtle neat,<br />
+None other is so fair and sweet.<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</a></span>
+Little Bo-Peep, let&#8217;s run away,<br />
+And marry each other on Midsummer Day;<br />
+And ever to you I&#8217;ll be fond and true,<br />
+<span style="margin-left: 10em;">Your faithful Valentine,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 12em;" class="smcap">Little Boy Blue</span>.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</a></span>
+<h2>A Long-Felt Want</h2>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 271px; margin-left: 5em;">
+<img src="images/img26-1.png" width="271" height="400" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 10em;">
+One day wee Willie and his dog<br />
+ Sprawled on the nursery floor.<br />
+He had a florist&#8217;s catalogue,<br />
+ And turned the pages o&#8217;er,</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 10em;">
+Till all at once he gave a spring,<br />
+ &ldquo;Hurrah!&rdquo; he cried with joy;<br />
+&ldquo;Mamma, here&#8217;s just the very thing<br />
+ To give your little boy!</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 10em;">
+&ldquo;For when we fellows go to school,<br />
+ We lose our things, you know;<br />
+And in that little vestibule<br />
+ They do get mixed up so.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 10em;">
+&ldquo;And as you often say you can&#8217;t<br />
+ Take care of &#8217;em for me,<br />
+Why don&#8217;t you buy a <em>rubber plant</em>,<br />
+ And an <em>umbrella tree</em>?&rdquo;</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</a></span>
+<h2>The Musical Carp</h2>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 272px; margin-left: 6em; margin-top: 4em;">
+<img src="images/img27-1.png" width="272" height="350" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem">
+There once was a corpulent carp<br />
+Who wanted to play on a harp,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">But to his chagrin</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">So short was his fin</span><br />
+That he couldn&#8217;t reach up to C sharp.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</a></span>
+<h2>The Intelligent Hen</h2>
+
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 233px;">
+<img src="images/img28-1.png" width="233" height="200" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 5em;">
+&#8217;Twas long ago,&mdash;a year or so,&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">In a barnyard by the sea,</span><br />
+That an old hen lived whom you may know<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">By the name of Fiddle-de-dee.</span><br />
+She scratched around in the sand all day,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">For a lively old hen was she.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 5em;">
+And then do you know, it happened this way<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">In that barnyard by the sea;</span><br />
+A great wise owl came down one day,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And hooted at Fiddle-de-dee,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Just hooted at Fiddle-de-dee.</span><br />
+And he cried, &ldquo;Hi! Hi! old hen, I say!<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">You&#8217;re provincial, it seems to me!&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 5em;">
+&ldquo;Why, what do you mean?&rdquo; cried the old red hen,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">As mad as hops was she.</span><br />
+&ldquo;Oh, I&#8217;ve been &#8217;round among great men,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">In the world where the great men be.</span><br />
+And none of them scratch with their claws like you,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">They write with a quill like me.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 5em;">
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</a></span>
+Now very few people could get ahead<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Of that old hen, Fiddle-de-dee.</span><br />
+She went and hunted the posy-bed,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And returned in triumphant glee.</span><br />
+And ever since then, that little red hen,<br />
+She writes with a jonquil pen, quil pen,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">She writes with a jonquil pen.</span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 312px;">
+<img src="images/img29-1.png" width="312" height="300" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 255px;">
+<img src="images/img30-1.png" width="255" height="300" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<h2>The Happy Hyena</h2>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">
+There once was a happy Hyena<br />
+Who played on an old concertina.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">He dressed very well,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">And in his lapel</span><br />
+He carelessly stuck a verbena.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 357px;">
+<img src="images/img31-1.png" width="357" height="300" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<h2>A Great Lady</h2>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+This is the Queen of Nonsense Land,<br />
+She wears her bonnet on her hand;<br />
+She carpets her ceilings and frescos her floors,<br />
+She eats on her windows and sleeps on her doors.<br />
+Oh, ho! Oh, ho! to think there could be<br />
+A lady so silly-down-dilly as she!</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+She goes for a walk on an ocean wave,<br />
+She fishes for cats in a coral cave;<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</a></span>
+She drinks from an empty glass of milk,<br />
+And lines her potato trees with silk.<br />
+I&#8217;m sure that fornever and never was seen<br />
+So foolish a thing as the Nonsense Queen!</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+She ordered a wig for a blue bottle fly,<br />
+And she wrote a note to a pumpkin pie;<br />
+She makes all the oysters wear emerald rings,<br />
+And does dozens of other nonsensible things.<br />
+Oh! the scatterbrained, shatterbrained lady so grand,<br />
+Her Royal Skyhighness of Nonsense Land!</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</a></span></p>
+<h2>Opulent Ollie</h2>
+
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+One Saturday opulent Ollie<br />
+Thought he&#8217;d go for a ride on the trolley;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">But his pennies were few,&mdash;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">He only had two,&mdash;</span><br />
+So he went and made mud-pies with Polly.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 342px;">
+<img src="images/img33-1.png" width="342" height="300" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</a></span></p>
+<h2>The Two Bears</h2>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+Prince Curlilocks remarked one day<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">To Princess Dimplecheek,</span><br />
+&ldquo;I haven&#8217;t had a real good play<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">For more than &#8217;most a week.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+Said Princess Dimplecheek, &ldquo;My dear,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Your majesty forgets&mdash;</span><br />
+This morning we played grenadier<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">With grandpa&#8217;s epaulets.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+&ldquo;And yesterday we sailed to Spain&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">We both were pirates bold,</span><br />
+And braved the wild and raging main<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">To seek for hidden gold.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+&ldquo;True,&rdquo; said the prince; &ldquo;I mind me well&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Right hardily we fought,</span><br />
+And stormed a massive citadel<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">To gain the prize we sought.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+&ldquo;But if your ladyship agrees,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Methinks we&#8217;ll go upstairs</span><br />
+And build a waste of arctic seas,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And we&#8217;ll be polar bears.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</a></span>
+&ldquo;Yes, if you&#8217;ll promise not to bite,&rdquo;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Fair Dimplecheek replied,</span><br />
+Already half-way up the flight,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">His highness by her side.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+&ldquo;Princess, on that far window-seat,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Go, sit thee down and wait,</span><br />
+While I ask nursie for a sheet,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Or maybe six or eight.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+A pile of sheets his highness brought.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">&ldquo;Dear princess, pray take these;</span><br />
+Although our path with danger&#8217;s fraught,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">We&#8217;ll reach the polar seas.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+Two furry rugs his lordship bore,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Two pairs of mittens white;</span><br />
+He threw them on the nursery floor<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And shouted with delight.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+He spread those sheets&mdash;the funny boy&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">O&#8217;er table, floor, and chair.</span><br />
+&ldquo;Princess,&rdquo; said he, &ldquo;don&#8217;t you enjoy<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">This frosty, bracing air?</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+&ldquo;These snowy sheets are fields of ice,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">This is an iceberg grim.&rdquo;</span><br />
+&ldquo;Yes, dear, I think it&#8217;s very nice,&rdquo;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">She said, and smiled at him.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</a></span>
+And then they donned the rugs of fur,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The mittens, too, they wore;</span><br />
+And Curlilocks remarked to her,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">&ldquo;Now you must roar and roar.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 280px;">
+<img src="images/img36-1.png" width="280" height="300" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+Dimplecheek looked out from the cowl<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Formed by her furry rug.</span><br />
+&ldquo;I&#8217;m &#8217;fraid of bears that only growl&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">I like the kind that hug.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</a></span></p>
+<h2>The Very Merry Voyage of the Macaroni Man</h2>
+
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 6em;">
+This figure here before you is a Macaroni Man,<br />
+Who is built, as you may notice, on a most ingenious plan.<br />
+His skeleton, I beg to state, is made of hairpins three,<br />
+Which are bent and curved and twisted to a marvellous degree.<br />
+His coat-sleeves and his trouser-legs, his head and eke his waist<br />
+Are made of superfine imported macaroni paste.<br />
+And if you care to listen, you may hear the thrilling tale<br />
+Of the merry Macaroni Man&#8217;s extraordinary sail.<br />
+One sunny day he started for a voyage in his yacht,<br />
+His anxious mother called to him, and said, &ldquo;You&#8217;d better not!<br />
+Although the sun is shining bright, I fear that it may rain;<br />
+And don&#8217;t you think, my darling boy, you&#8217;d better take the train?&rdquo;<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</a></span>
+&ldquo;Oh, no,&rdquo; said he, &ldquo;no clouds I see,&mdash;the sky is blue and clear,<br />
+I will return in time for tea&mdash;good-by, my mother dear.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 299px;">
+<img src="images/img38-1.png" width="299" height="200" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 6em;">
+Full merrily he started off, the day was fine and fair,<br />
+And to his great delight he found no dampness in the air.<br />
+You know if he gets wet, a Macaroni Man is spoiled,<br />
+And if he stands too near the steam, of course he may get boiled.<br />
+But our hero used precautions,&mdash;carefully he shunned the spray,&mdash;<br />
+And when the steam blew toward him, he just steered the other way.<br />
+Now, as the breeze was from the land, his course lay out to sea;<br />
+He sailed so far that he felt sure he would be late for tea.<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</a></span>
+He sailed, and sailed, and sailed, and sailed,&mdash;he feared the dew would fall&mdash;<br />
+He tried to turn,&mdash;but oh, that steam! it would not do at all!</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 406px;">
+<img src="images/img39-1.png" width="406" height="300" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 6em;">
+A single puff blew toward him, and it nearly cooked his face!<br />
+The mournful Macaroni Man felt sadly out of place.<br />
+But a happy thought occurred to him, &ldquo;Ha, ha,&mdash;ho, ho!&rdquo; said he,&mdash;<br />
+&ldquo;I&#8217;ll just sail on around the world,&mdash;and then, it seems to me,<br />
+I&#8217;ll reach my home (according to a careful estimate)<br />
+In time for tea, although I&#8217;ll be perhaps a trifle late.&rdquo;<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</a></span>
+Then merrily his gallant ship sped o&#8217;er the bounding main,<br />
+Quickly he crossed the ocean wide, he flew by France and Spain;<br />
+Covered the Mediterranean, spanned the Suez Canal,&mdash;<br />
+&ldquo;I&#8217;ll reach my home to-night,&rdquo; he thought, &ldquo;oh, yes, I&#8217;m sure I shall.&rdquo;<br />
+He skimmed the Red Sea like a bird,&mdash;the Indian Ocean crossed<br />
+(But once, in Oceanica, he feared that he was lost).</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 410px;">
+<img src="images/img40-1.png" width="410" height="300" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 6em;">
+He passed Australia on the fly,&mdash;cut over Capricorn,<br />
+And as the sunset gun he heard, he swung around Cape Horn.<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</a></span>
+Still at full speed, he sailed due north, he rounded Cape St. Roque,<br />
+Crossed the equator, and found out the Gulf Stream was no joke.<br />
+He coasted by the seaboard States. Hurrah! all danger past,<br />
+Quickly he sailed the last few miles and reached his home at last;<br />
+His mother welcomed him, and said, &ldquo;I&#8217;m glad there was no shower;<br />
+But hurry in, my bonny boy, I&#8217;ve waited tea an hour.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 181px;">
+<img src="images/img41-1.png" width="181" height="200" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</a></span>
+<h2>The 4.04 Train</h2>
+
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+&ldquo;There&#8217;s a train at 4.04,&rdquo; said Miss Jenny;<br />
+&ldquo;Four tickets I&#8217;ll take. Have you any?&rdquo;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Said the man at the door:</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">&ldquo;Not four for 4.04,</span><br />
+For four for 4.04 is too many.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
+<img src="images/img43-1.png" width="300" height="273" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<h2>A Valuable Gift</h2>
+
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+Old Father Time, one day<br />
+In his study, so they say,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Was indulging in a surreptitious nap,</span><br />
+When from his drowsy dreams<br />
+He was wakened, as it seems,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">By a timid but persistent little rap.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+He yawned and rubbed his eyes<br />
+In indolent surprise,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Then slowly he arose from where he sat;</span><br />
+He opened wide his door,<br />
+And nearly tumbled o&#8217;er<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The figure that stood waiting on the mat.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</a></span>
+A tiny little dog,<br />
+With excitement all agog,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And angry eyes that seemed to flash and glower.</span><br />
+His manner was polite,<br />
+But he said, &ldquo;I claim my right!<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And I&#8217;ve called, sir, to demand of you my hour.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+&ldquo;Your what?&rdquo; the old man said,<br />
+As he shook his puzzled head;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And the pertinacious puppy spoke with force:</span><br />
+&ldquo;Well, sir, they often say,<br />
+&lsquo;Every dog must have his day,&rsquo;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">So a puppy ought to have an hour, of course!&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+The old man shook with glee,<br />
+But he said obligingly,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">&ldquo;The dog days are all gone, I grieve to say;</span><br />
+But since you&#8217;ve come so far,<br />
+And so mannerly you are,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">I&#8217;ll give you just an hour&mdash;to get away.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 384px;">
+<img src="images/img44-1.png" width="384" height="300" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 277px;">
+<img src="images/img45-1.png" width="277" height="300" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<h2>The Grandiloquent Goat</h2>
+
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">
+A very grandiloquent Goat<br />
+Sat down to a gay table d&#8217;h&ocirc;te;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">He ate all the corks,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The knives and the forks,</span><br />
+Remarking: &ldquo;On these things I dote.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">
+Then, before his repast he began,<br />
+While pausing the menu to scan,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">He said: &ldquo;Corn, if you please,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And tomatoes and pease,</span><br />
+I&#8217;d like to have served in the can.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</a></span></p>
+<h2>How the Cat was Belled</h2>
+
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+A fable told by La Fontaine,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Two centuries or more ago,</span><br />
+Describes some rats who would arraign<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">A cat, their direst foe,</span><br />
+Who killed so many rats<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And caused the deepest woe,</span><br />
+This Catiline of cats.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+The poor rats were at their wits&#8217; end<br />
+Their homes and families to defend;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And as a last resort</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">They took the case to court.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+It seems they called a caucus wise<br />
+Of rats of every age and size,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And then their dean,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">With sapient mien,</span><br />
+A very Solon of a rat,<br />
+Said it was best to bell the cat.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+The quaint old tale goes on to tell<br />
+How this plan would have worked quite well,<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</a></span>
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">But, somehow, flaws</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Appeared, because</span><br />
+No one would hang the bell.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+Though there the ancient fable ends,<br />
+Later report the tale extends,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">No longer is the truth withheld;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Developments appear,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">And so you have it here.</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">For the first time</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Set down in rhyme</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Just how that cat was belled.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+The council, as &#8217;twas getting late,<br />
+Was just about to separate,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">When suddenly a rat arose</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Who said he could a plan propose</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Which would, he thought, succeed</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">And meet their urgent need.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+Now as this rat was very small,<br />
+And had no dignity at all,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Although his plan was well advised,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">We really need not be surprised</span><br />
+That all the rats of riper years<br />
+Expressed the gravest doubts and fears;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Till suddenly</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">He said, said he,</span><br />
+&ldquo;If you will leave it all to me,<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</a></span>
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">I will avow</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Three days from now</span><br />
+That you shall all be free.&rdquo;<br />
+The solemn council then adjourned.<br />
+Each rat to home and fireside turned;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">But each shook his wise head</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And to his neighbor said:</span><br />
+&ldquo;It is a dangerous job, in truth,<br />
+Though it seems naught to headstrong youth.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+Now young Sir Rat we next behold,<br />
+With manner brave and visage bold,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Go marching down</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">To London town,</span><br />
+Where wondrous things are sold.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">We see him stop</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">At a large shop,</span><br />
+And with the bland clerk&#8217;s courteous aid<br />
+This was the purchase that he made:<br />
+A bicycle of finest make,<br />
+With modern gear and patent brake,<br />
+Pedometer, pneumatic tire,<br />
+And spokes that looked like silver wire,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">A lantern bright</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">To shine at night,</span><br />
+Enamel finish, nickel plate,<br />
+And all improvements up to date.<br />
+Said sly Sir Rat: &ldquo;It suits me well,<br />
+Especially that sweet-toned <em>bell</em>.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 327px;">
+<img src="images/img49-1.png" width="327" height="300" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+The shades of night were falling fast<br />
+When Sir Rat turned toward home at last.<br />
+The neighbors watched him as he passed<br />
+And said: &ldquo;What is that queer-shaped thing?<br />
+Surely that can&#8217;t be made to ring.&rdquo;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Sir Rat went on, nor stayed</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">To hear the jests they made;</span><br />
+And just outside the old cat&#8217;s gate<br />
+He stopped and boldly braved his fate,<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</a></span>
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">For if that cat</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Should smell a rat</span><br />
+How quickly he&#8217;d come out and catch him,<br />
+And with what gusto he&#8217;d despatch him!<br />
+Sir Rat, against the picket-fence<br />
+Leaned the machine, then hurried hence,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And hid himself with glee,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And waited breathlessly</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">To see what that</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Cantankerous cat</span><br />
+Would say, when in the twilight dim<br />
+He saw that brightly shining rim.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Sir Rat, though hidden quite,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And safely out of sight,</span><br />
+Had scarcely time to wink his eye,<br />
+When Mr. Cat came sauntering by.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">&ldquo;Ha! Ha!&rdquo; said he,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">&ldquo;What&#8217;s this I see,</span><br />
+A bicycle! and just my size!<br />
+Well, this, indeed, is a surprise!<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">I&#8217;ll confiscate</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">This treasure great;</span><br />
+How quickly I&#8217;ll fly o&#8217;er the ground<br />
+When I pursue my hunting round!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+He mounted it with eager haste,<br />
+It suited well his sporting taste;<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</a></span>
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">He guided it at will,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And used the brake with skill,</span><br />
+He grasped the handle-bars, and then&mdash;<br />
+You see it was his custom when<br />
+He did a thing, to do it well&mdash;<br />
+Of course he used the clear-toned bell!</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 222px;">
+<img src="images/img51-1.png" width="222" height="300" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+Victory now! the deed is done!<br />
+No longer at the set of sun<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</a></span>
+The rats fly shrieking to their nests,<br />
+They saunter round with merry jests<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And ne&#8217;er a thought of fear,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Knowing full well</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">They&#8217;ll hear the bell</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">When Mr. Cat draws near.</span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
+<img src="images/img52-1.png" width="300" height="148" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+And young Sir Rat who did the deed,<br />
+Whose cleverness relieved their need,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">His wondrous enterprise</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Was lauded to the skies.</span><br />
+And everywhere his name<br />
+Was hailed with shouts of fame.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+In difficulties, oft we see<br />
+Modern improvements frequently<br />
+Will prove a happy remedy.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</a></span></p>
+<h2>The Rhyme of Triangular Tommy</h2>
+
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 46px; margin-left: 7em;">
+<img src="images/img53-1.png" width="46" height="80" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 10em;">
+Triangular Tommy, one morning in May,<br />
+Went out for a walk on the public highway.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Just here I will say,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">&#8217;Twas a bright sunny day,</span><br />
+And the sky it was blue, and the grass it was green,<br />
+The same sky and grass that you&#8217;ve all of you seen;<br />
+And the birds in the trees sang their usual song,<br />
+And Triangular Tommy went trudging along.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 10em;">
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">But I can tell you</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">He cared naught for the view.</span><br />
+He did just what small boys of his age always do:<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">He shouted out &ldquo;Scat!&rdquo;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">At a wandering cat,</span><br />
+And he picked a big daisy to stick in his hat;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">The clovers he topped,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">And the toadstools he cropped,</span><br />
+And sometimes he scuffled and sometimes he hopped.</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 57px; margin-left: 7em;">
+<img src="images/img54-1.png" width="57" height="82" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 49px; margin-right: 5em;">
+<img src="images/img54-2.png" width="49" height="80" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 10em;">
+He took an old stick and poked at a worm,<br />
+And merrily chuckled to see the thing squirm;<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</a></span>
+When he chanced to look up, and in gorgeous array<br />
+Triangular Tilly was coming his way.<br />
+Triangular Tom straightened up in a jiff,<br />
+And put on his best manner&mdash;exceedingly stiff;<br />
+And as far as his angular shape would allow<br />
+Triangular Tom made a beautiful bow.</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 65px; margin-top: -6em; margin-right: 5em;">
+<img src="images/img54-3.png" width="65" height="81" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 38px; margin-left: 8em;">
+<img src="images/img54-4.png" width="38" height="81" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 10em;">
+Triangular Tilly went smilingly by,<br />
+With a glance that was friendly, but just a bit shy.<br />
+And Tom so admired her that after she passed,<br />
+A backward look over his shoulder he cast.<br />
+And he said, &ldquo;Though I think many girls are but silly,<br />
+I really admire that Triangular Tilly.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 46px; margin-right: 5em;">
+<img src="images/img54-5.png" width="46" height="81" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 10em;">
+But soon all such thoughts were put out of his head,<br />
+For who should come by but Triangular Ted,<br />
+The very boy Tom had been wishing to see!<br />
+&ldquo;Hello!&rdquo; said Triangular Tommy, said he.<br />
+&ldquo;Hello!&rdquo; said Triangular Ted, and away<br />
+Those two children scooted to frolic and play.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">And they had, on the green,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Where &#8217;twas all dry and clean,</span><br />
+The best game of leap-frog that ever was seen.<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</a></span>
+Triangular Tom beat down this way, you know,<br />
+And Triangular Ted stood beside him, just so,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">When one, two, three&mdash;go!</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">With the greatest gusto,</span><br />
+Ted flew over Tom in a manner not slow.</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 124px; margin-top: -6em; margin-left: 3em;">
+<img src="images/img55-1.png" width="124" height="80" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 10em;">
+They played hide-and-seek, they played marbles and tag,<br />
+They played they were soldiers, and each waved a flag;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Till at last they confessed,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">They wanted to rest;</span><br />
+So they sat down and chatted with laughter and jest;</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 115px; margin-top: -5em; margin-right: 1em;">
+<img src="images/img55-2.png" width="115" height="79" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 30px; margin-left: 8em;">
+<img src="images/img55-3.png" width="30" height="79" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 10em;">
+When Schoolmaster Jones they suddenly spied,<br />
+Come clumping along with his pedagogue stride,<br />
+As usual, with manner quite preoccupied;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">With his hat on one side,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">And his shoe-lace untied&mdash;</span><br />
+A surly old fellow, it can&#8217;t be denied;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">And each wicked boy</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Thought that he would enjoy</span><br />
+An occasion the thoughtful old man to annoy,<br />
+And all of his wise calculations destroy.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">So they thought they&#8217;d employ</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">A means known to each boy.</span><br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</a></span>
+And across the wide pavement they fastened a twine<br />
+Exceedingly strong but exceedingly fine;<br />
+And Triangular Tommy laughed out in his glee,<br />
+To think how upset the old master would be!</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 81px; margin-top: 5em; margin-right: 4em;">
+<img src="images/img56-1.png" width="81" height="40" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 10em;">
+Although very wicked, their mischievous scheme<br />
+Was a perfect success; and with a loud scream,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">A horrible clash,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">A thump and a smash,</span><br />
+Old Schoolmaster Jones came down with a crash.<br />
+His hat rolled away, and his spectacles broke,<br />
+And those dreadful boys thought it a howling good joke.<br />
+And they just doubled up in immoderate glee,<br />
+Saying, &ldquo;Look at the Schoolmaster!<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Tee-hee! tee-hee!&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 41px; margin-left: 7em;">
+<img src="images/img56-2.png" width="41" height="79" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 41px; margin-right: 6em;">
+<img src="images/img56-3.png" width="41" height="79" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 10em;">
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Tom gave a guffaw,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">And Ted roared a &ldquo;haw-haw&rdquo;;</span><br />
+But soon their diversion was turned into awe,<br />
+For old Schoolmaster Jones was angry, they saw.</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 49px; margin-left: 5em;">
+<img src="images/img56-4.png" width="49" height="80" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 68px; margin-left: 6em;">
+<img src="images/img57-1.png" width="68" height="78" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 10em;">
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Triangular Ted</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Turned swiftly and fled,</span><br />
+And far down the street like a reindeer he sped,<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</a></span>
+Leaving Tommy to face the old gentleman&#8217;s rage,<br />
+Who quickly jumped up,&mdash;he was brisk for his age,&mdash;<br />
+And with just indignation portrayed on his face,<br />
+To Triangular Tommy he quickly gave chase.</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 50px; margin-top: 5em; margin-left: 7em;">
+<img src="images/img57-2.png" width="50" height="80" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 10em;">
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">And hearing his squeals</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">And his frantic appeals,</span><br />
+Triangular Tommy fast took to his heels.<br />
+Now Tommy was agile and Tommy was spry;<br />
+He whizzed through the air&mdash;he just seemed to fly;<br />
+He rushed madly on, until, dreadful to say!<br />
+He came where the railroad was just in his way&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">And alas! and alack!</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">He tripped on the track</span><br />
+And then with a terrible, sudden ker-thwack!<br />
+Triangular Tommy sprawled flat on his back&mdash;<br />
+And the train came along with a crash, and a crack,<br />
+A din, and a clatter, a clang, and a clack,<br />
+A toot, and a boom, and a roar, and a hiss,<br />
+And chopped him up all into pieces like this&mdash;<br />
+If <em>you</em> cut out papers just like them, why, then,<br />
+If you try, you can put him together again.</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 80px; margin-top: -5em; margin-right: 5em;">
+<img src="images/img57-3.png" width="80" height="33" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</a></span></p>
+<h2>A Modern Invention</h2>
+
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">
+Old Santa Claus is up-to-date,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And hereafter, rumors say,</span><br />
+He&#8217;ll come with his pack of glittering toys,<br />
+And visit the homes of girls and boys,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">In a new reindeerless sleigh.</span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
+<img src="images/img58-1.png" width="300" height="300" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</a></span>
+<h2>An April Joke</h2>
+
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 268px;">
+<img src="images/img59-1.png" width="268" height="254" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+Oh, it was a merry, gladsome day,<br />
+When the April Fool met the Queen of May;<br />
+She had roguish eyes and golden hair,<br />
+And they were a mischief-making pair.<br />
+They planned the funniest kind of a joke<br />
+On the poor, long-suffering mortal folk;<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</a></span>
+And a few mysterious words he said,<br />
+His fool&#8217;s cap close to her flower-crowned head.<br />
+Then he laughed till he made his cap-bells ring,<br />
+At the thought of the topsy-turvy Spring.<br />
+&ldquo;&#8217;Tis a fair exchange,&rdquo; he said, with a wink&mdash;<br />
+&ldquo;It is!&rdquo; she said, and what do you think?<br />
+The flowers that should bloom in the month of May<br />
+Every one of them came on an April day!<br />
+And they looked for April showers in vain,<br />
+But all through May it did nothing but rain!</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</a></span>
+<h2>An Alice Alphabet</h2>
+</div>
+
+<div class="box">
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 141px; margin-left: 8em;">
+<img src="images/img61-1.png" width="141" height="154" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="cap" style="margin-top: 5em; margin-left: 2em;">
+A is for Alice a-dressing the Queen.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="box">
+<div class="figright" style="width: 105px; margin-right: 8em;">
+<img src="images/img61-2.png" width="105" height="154" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="cap" style="margin-top: 5em; margin-left: 3em;">
+B is for Borogoves, mimsy and lean.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="box">
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 159px; margin-left: 8em;">
+<img src="images/img61-3.png" width="159" height="103" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="cap" style="margin-top: 4em; margin-left: 2em;">
+C is the Cheshire Cat, wearing a grin.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="box">
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</a></span>
+<div class="figright" style="width: 120px; margin-right: 8em;">
+<img src="images/img62-1.png" width="120" height="152" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="cap" style="margin-top: 5em; margin-left: 3em;">
+D is the Duchess who had a sharp chin.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="box">
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 115px; margin-left: 8em;">
+<img src="images/img62-2.png" width="115" height="155" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="cap" style="margin-top: 5em; margin-left: 2em;">
+E is the Eaglet who barred out long words.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="box">
+<div class="figright" style="width: 137px; margin-right: 8em;">
+<img src="images/img62-3.png" width="137" height="154" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="cap" style="margin-top: 5em; margin-left: 3em;">
+F, the Flamingo, the queerest of birds.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="box">
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</a></span>
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 138px; margin-left: 8em;">
+<img src="images/img63-1.png" width="138" height="161" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="cap" style="margin-top: 5em; margin-left: 2em;">
+G is the Gryphon, loquacious and gay.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="box">
+<div class="figright" style="width: 169px; margin-right: 8em;">
+<img src="images/img63-2.png" width="169" height="139" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="cap" style="margin-top: 5em; margin-left: 3em;">
+H, Humpty Dumpty in gorgeous array.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="box">
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 298px; margin-left: 2em;">
+<img src="images/img63-3.png" width="298" height="141" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="cap" style="margin-top: 5em; margin-left: 3em;">
+I is for Insects with curious names.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="box">
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</a></span>
+<div class="figright" style="width: 164px; margin-right: 8em;">
+<img src="images/img64-1.png" width="164" height="162" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="cap" style="margin-top: 5em; margin-left: 3em;">
+J is the Jabberwock burbling with flames.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="box">
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 115px; margin-left: 8em;">
+<img src="images/img64-2.png" width="115" height="70" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="cap" style="margin-top: 3em; margin-left: 2em;">
+K is the King who was whizzed through the air.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="box">
+<div class="figright" style="width: 137px; margin-right: 8em;">
+<img src="images/img64-3.png" width="137" height="157" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="cap" style="margin-top: 6em; margin-left: 3em;">
+L is the Lobster who sugared his hair.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="box">
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</a></span>
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 124px; margin-left: 8em;">
+<img src="images/img65-1.png" width="124" height="161" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="cap" style="margin-top: 5em; margin-left: 2em;">
+M, the Mock Turtle, whose tears freely flowed.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="box">
+<div class="figright" style="width: 214px; margin-right: 8em;">
+<img src="images/img65-2.png" width="214" height="140" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="cap" style="margin-top: 5em; margin-left: 3em;">
+N is for Nobody seen on the road.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="box">
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 146px; margin-left: 8em;">
+<img src="images/img65-3.png" width="146" height="55" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="cap" style="margin-top: 2em; margin-left: 2em;">
+O is for Oysters who trotted so quick.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="box">
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</a></span>
+<div class="figright" style="width: 195px; margin-right: 8em;">
+<img src="images/img66-1.png" width="195" height="135" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="cap" style="margin-top: 5em; margin-left: 3em;">
+P is the Puppy who played with a stick.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="box">
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 271px; margin-left: 6em;">
+<img src="images/img66-2.png" width="271" height="176" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="cap" style="margin-top: 5em; margin-left: 2em;">
+Q is the Queen who ran very fast.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="box">
+<div class="figright" style="width: 123px; margin-right: 8em;">
+<img src="images/img66-3.png" width="123" height="163" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="cap" style="margin-top: 6em; margin-left: 3em;">
+R is the Rabbit who blew a great blast.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="box">
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</a></span>
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 132px; margin-left: 8em;">
+<img src="images/img67-1.png" width="132" height="111" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="cap" style="margin-top: 4em; margin-left: 2em;">
+S is the Sheep, on her knitting intent.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="box">
+<div class="figright" style="width: 126px; margin-right: 8em;">
+<img src="images/img67-2.png" width="126" height="146" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="cap" style="margin-top: 5em; margin-left: 3em;">
+T, Tweedledum, with his noisy lament.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="box">
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 91px; margin-left: 8em;">
+<img src="images/img67-3.png" width="91" height="153" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="cap" style="margin-top: 5em; margin-left: 2em;">
+U is the Unicorn, valiant in feud.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="box">
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</a></span>
+<div class="figright" style="width: 130px; margin-right: 8em;">
+<img src="images/img68-1.png" width="130" height="78" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="cap" style="margin-top: 4em; margin-left: 3em;">
+V is the Violet, saucy and rude.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="box">
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 164px; margin-left: 8em;">
+<img src="images/img68-2.png" width="164" height="161" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="cap" style="margin-top: 5em; margin-left: 2em;">
+W, the Walrus, addicted to chat.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="box">
+<div class="figright" style="width: 147px; margin-right: 8em;">
+<img src="images/img68-3.png" width="147" height="148" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="cap" style="margin-top: 5em; margin-left: 3em;">
+X, Executioner, seeking the cat.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="box">
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</a></span>
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 102px; margin-left: 8em;">
+<img src="images/img69-1.png" width="102" height="155" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="cap" style="margin-top: 5em; margin-left: 2em;">
+Y is the Youth Father William surveyed.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="box">
+<div class="figright" style="width: 115px; margin-right: 8em;">
+<img src="images/img69-2.png" width="115" height="196" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="cap" style="margin-top: 5em; margin-left: 3em;">
+Z is the Zigzag the mouse&#8217;s tail made.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</a></span>
+<h2>The Funny Kittens</h2>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 260px;">
+<img src="images/img70-1.png" width="260" height="100" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+Once there were some silly kittens,<br />
+And they knitted woolly mittens<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">To bestow upon the freezing Hottentots.</span><br />
+But the Hottentots refused them,<br />
+Saying that they never used them<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Unless crocheted of red with yellow spots.</span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 256px;">
+<img src="images/img70-2.png" width="256" height="130" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+So the silly little kittens<br />
+Took their blue and white striped mittens<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">To a Bear who lived within a hollow tree;</span><br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</a></span>
+The Bear responded sadly,<br />
+&ldquo;I would wear your mittens gladly,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">But I fear they are too gay for such as me.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 369px;">
+<img src="images/img71-1.png" width="369" height="200" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+Then the kittens, almost weeping,<br />
+Came to where a Cow lay sleeping,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And they woke her with this piteous request,</span><br />
+&ldquo;Won&#8217;t you wear our mittens furry?&rdquo;<br />
+Said the Cow, &ldquo;My dears, don&#8217;t worry;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">I will put them on as soon as I am dressed.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 250px;">
+<img src="images/img72-1.png" width="250" height="130" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+Then the Cow put on her bonnet<br />
+With a wreath of roses on it,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And a beautiful mantilla fringed with white;</span><br />
+And she donned the pretty mittens,<br />
+While the silly little kittens<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Clapped their paws in admiration at the sight.</span></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</a></span></p>
+<h2>The Strike of the Fireworks</h2>
+
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 4em;">
+&#8217;Twas the night before the Fourth of July, the people slept serene;<br />
+The fireworks were stored in the old town hall that stood on the village green.<br />
+The steeple clock tolled the midnight hour, and at its final stroke,<br />
+The fire in the queer old-fashioned stove lifted its voice and spoke;<br />
+&ldquo;The earth and air have naught to do, the water, too, may play,<br />
+And only fire is made to work on Independence Day.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 4em;">
+&ldquo;I won&#8217;t stand such injustice! It&#8217;s wrong, beyond a doubt,<br />
+And I shall take my holiday. Good-by, I&#8217;m going out!&rdquo;<br />
+Up spoke a Roman candle then, &ldquo;The principle is right!<br />
+Suppose we strike, and all agree we will not work to-night!&rdquo;<br />
+&ldquo;My stars!&rdquo; said a small sky-rocket. &ldquo;What an awful time there&#8217;ll be,<br />
+When the whole town comes together to-night, the great display to see!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 4em;">
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</a></span>
+&ldquo;Let them come,&rdquo; said a saucy pinwheel, &ldquo;yes, let them come if they like,<br />
+As a delegate I&#8217;ll announce to them that the fireworks are going to strike!&rdquo;<br />
+&ldquo;My friends,&rdquo; said a small cap-pistol, &ldquo;this movement is all wrong,&mdash;<br />
+Gunpowder, noise, and fireworks to Fourth of July belong.<br />
+My great ancestral musket made Independence Day,<br />
+I frown on your whole conspiracy, and you are wrong, I say!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 4em;">
+And so they talked and they argued, some for and some against,&mdash;<br />
+And they progressed no further than they were when they commenced.<br />
+Until in a burst of eloquence a queer little piece of punk<br />
+Arose in his place and said, &ldquo;I think we ought to show some spunk.<br />
+And I for one have decided, although I am no shirk,<br />
+That to-day is a legal holiday and not even fire should work.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 4em;">
+&ldquo;And I am of some importance,&rdquo;&mdash;here he gave a pretentious cough,<br />
+&ldquo;For without my assistance none of you could very well be put off.&rdquo;<br />
+&ldquo;You are right,&rdquo; said the Roman candle, &ldquo;and I think we are all agreed<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</a></span>
+To strike for our rights and our liberty. Hurrah! we shall succeed!&rdquo;<br />
+The dissenters cried with one accord, &ldquo;Our objections we withdraw.<br />
+Hurrah, hurrah for the fireworks&#8217; strike!&rdquo; and they cried again, &ldquo;Hurrah!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 4em;">
+Then a match piped up with a tiny voice, &ldquo;Your splendid scheme I like.<br />
+I agree with all your principles and so I, too, will strike!&rdquo;<br />
+Suiting the action to the word, the silly little dunce<br />
+Clambered down from his matchsafe and excitedly struck at once.<br />
+He lost his head, and he ran around among the fireworks dry,<br />
+And he cried, &ldquo;Hurrah for the fireworks&#8217; strike! Hurrah for the Fourth of July!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 4em;">
+With his waving flame he lit the punk&mdash;a firecracker caught a spark,&mdash;<br />
+Then rockets and wheels and bombs went off&mdash;no longer the place was dark!<br />
+The explosions made a fearful noise, the flames leaped high and higher,<br />
+The village folk awoke and cried, &ldquo;The town hall is on fire!&rdquo;<br />
+So the strike of the fireworks ended in a wonderful display<br />
+Of pyrotechnic grandeur on Independence Day!</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</a></span></p>
+<h2>The Arch Armadillo</h2>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 234px;">
+<img src="images/img76-1.png" width="234" height="120" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">
+There once was an arch Armadillo<br />
+Who built him a hut &#8217;neath a willow;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">He hadn&#8217;t a bed</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">So he rested his head</span><br />
+On a young Porcupine for a pillow.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</a></span></p>
+<h2>A Dream Lesson</h2>
+
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 6em;">
+Once there was a little boy who wouldn&#8217;t go to bed,<br />
+When they hinted at the subject he would only shake his head,<br />
+When they asked him his intentions, he informed them pretty straight<br />
+That he wouldn&#8217;t go to bed at all, and Nursey needn&#8217;t wait.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 6em;">
+As their arguments grew stronger, and their attitude more strict,<br />
+I grieve to say that naughty boy just yelled and screamed and kicked.<br />
+And he made up awful faces, and he told them up and down<br />
+That he wouldn&#8217;t go to bed for all the nurses in the town.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 6em;">
+Then Nursey lost her patience, and although it wasn&#8217;t right,<br />
+Retorted that for all she cared he might sit up all night.<br />
+He approved of this arrangement, and he danced a jig for joy,<br />
+And turned a somersault with glee; he <em>was</em> a naughty boy.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 6em;">
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[Pg 65]</a></span>
+And so they all went off to bed and left him sitting there,<br />
+Right in the corner by the fire in Grandpa&#8217;s big armchair.<br />
+He read his books and played his games,&mdash;he even sang a song<br />
+And thought how lovely it would be to sit up all night long.</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 196px;">
+<img src="images/img78-1.png" width="196" height="270" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 6em;">
+But soon his games grew stupid, and his puzzles<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">wouldn&#8217;t work;</span><br />
+He drew himself up stiffly with a sudden little jerk,<br />
+And he said, &ldquo;I am not sleepy, and I love to<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">play alone&mdash;</span><br />
+And&mdash;I&mdash;think&mdash;&rdquo; the rest was mumbled in<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">a drowsy monotone.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 6em;">
+He leaned back on the cushions like that night<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">he had the croup;</span><br />
+His head began to wobble and his eyes began<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">to droop;</span><br />
+He closed them for a minute, just to see how<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">it would seem,</span><br />
+And straightway he was sound asleep, and dreamed this awful dream!</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 6em;">
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[Pg 66]</a></span>
+He thought he saw a garden filled with flowers and roses gay,<br />
+A great big gardener with a hoe came walking down his way;<br />
+&ldquo;Ah, ha!&rdquo; exclaimed the gardener, as he clutched him by the head,<br />
+&ldquo;Here&#8217;s a fine specimen I&#8217;ve found; I&#8217;ll plant him in this bed!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 265px;">
+<img src="images/img79-1.png" width="265" height="260" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 6em;">
+He held the boy in one big hand, unheeding how he cried,<br />
+And with the other dug a hole enormous, deep, and wide.<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[Pg 67]</a></span>
+He jammed the little fellow in, and said in gruffest tone,<br />
+&ldquo;This is the bed for naughty boys who won&#8217;t go to their own.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 6em;">
+And then the dirt was shovelled in,&mdash;it covered up his toes,<br />
+His ankles, knees, and waist and arms, and higher yet it rose.<br />
+For still the gardener shovelled on, not noticing his cries;<br />
+It came up to his chin and mouth&mdash;it almost reached his eyes;</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 6em;">
+Just then he gathered all his strength and gave an awful scream,<br />
+And woke himself, and put an end to that terrific dream.<br />
+And he said, as Nursey tucked him up and bade him snugly rest,<br />
+&ldquo;When I am planted in a bed, I like my own the best.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</a></span></p>
+<h2>The Rivals</h2>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 302px; margin-top: -1.5em;">
+<img src="images/img81-1.png" width="302" height="420" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 3em; margin-top: 10em;">
+Two well-built men, neither giant nor dwarf,<br />
+Were Monsieur Elims and Mynheer Nworf.<br />
+They lived in a town not far away,<br />
+And spent their time in work and play.<br />
+Now Monsieur Elims was loved by all&mdash;<br />
+By rich and poor, by great and small.<br />
+And Mynheer Nworf remarked one day,<br />
+&ldquo;Brother, explain to me, I pray,<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</a></span>
+Why no one likes me as well as you,<br />
+No matter what I may say or do.<br />
+I have stores of knowledge packed in my head;<br />
+I am learned and wise and very well read;<br />
+I can dance, I can sing, I&#8217;m extremely polite;<br />
+I am worth a large fortune all in my own right.<br />
+But still,&mdash;and this question has caused me much thought,&mdash;<br />
+While I am neglected, you&#8217;re everywhere sought.&rdquo;<br />
+Monsieur Elims replied: &ldquo;My dear sir, that is true,<br />
+But you see, I am I, and you see, you are you.<br />
+If I receive praises and you receive blame,<br />
+&#8217;Tis doubtless because each lives up to his name.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 3em;">
+You&#8217;ll find his defence rather puzzling, I fear;<br />
+But read their names backward&mdash;the meaning is clear.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</a></span>
+<h2>The New Cup</h2>
+
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+&ldquo;I&#8217;ve a lovely new cup from Uncle John,&rdquo;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Said Dorothy; &ldquo;only see&mdash;</span><br />
+It has beautiful golden letters on,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And they spell &lsquo;<em>Remember Me</em>.&rsquo;&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+&ldquo;Oho!&rdquo; laughed Fred. &ldquo;Why, Dorothy dear,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">They put that on mugs and plates:</span><br />
+<em>I</em>&#8217;ve studied jography &#8217;most a year,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And I know the names of the States.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+And when you see that anywhere,&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">At least, since this fuss with Spain,&mdash;</span><br />
+It&#8217;s the President who puts it there,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And it means &lsquo;Remember the Maine&rsquo;!&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</a></span></p>
+<h2>A Photographic Failure</h2>
+
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 145px; margin-right: 3em;">
+<img src="images/img84-1.png" width="145" height="150" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Mr. Hezekiah Hinkle</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Saw a patient Periwinkle</span><br />
+With a kodak, sitting idly by a rill.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Feeling a desire awaken</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">For to have his picture taken,</span><br />
+Mr. Hezekiah Hinkle stood stock-still.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Mr. Hezekiah Hinkle</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Felt his brow begin to wrinkle,</span><br />
+And his pose assume a sad and solemn style;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">But the Periwinkle trusted,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">As the focus he adjusted,</span><br />
+That his customer would kindly try to smile.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Mr. Hezekiah Hinkle</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Felt his eyes begin to twinkle,</span><br />
+And his mouth took on a broad and open grin;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Said the Periwinkle, sadly,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">&ldquo;If you stretch your jaw so madly,</span><br />
+I fear perhaps that I shall tumble in.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Mr. Hezekiah Hinkle</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Felt his hair begin to crinkle,</span><br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</a></span>
+As it rose up on his forehead in affright;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Though his comrade spoke so mildly,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Mr. Hinkle wondered wildly,</span><br />
+How he could escape this dire and awful plight.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Mr. Hezekiah Hinkle</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Said, &ldquo;I fear it&#8217;s going to sprinkle,</span><br />
+And really for a storm I&#8217;m not prepared.&rdquo;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Then without a further warning</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">He politely said, &ldquo;Good morning,&rdquo;</span><br />
+And the patient Periwinkle stood and stared.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 120px;">
+<img src="images/img85-1.png" width="120" height="270" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</a></span>
+<h2>Christmas Gifts</h2>
+
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 10em;">
+Ten Christmas presents standing in a line;<br />
+Robert took the bicycle, then there were nine.<br />
+Nine Christmas presents ranged in order straight;<br />
+Bob took the steam engine, then there were eight.<br />
+Eight Christmas presents&mdash;and one came from Devon;<br />
+Robbie took the jackknife, then there were seven.<br />
+Seven Christmas presents direct from St. Nick&#8217;s;<br />
+Bobby took the candy box, then there were six.<br />
+Six Christmas presents, one of them alive;<br />
+Rob took the puppy dog, then there were five.<br />
+Five Christmas presents yet on the floor;<br />
+Bobbin took the soldier cap, then there were four.<br />
+Four Christmas presents underneath the tree;<br />
+Bobbet took the writing desk, then there were three.<br />
+Three Christmas presents still in full view;<br />
+Robin took the checker board, then there were two.<br />
+Two Christmas presents, promising fun,<br />
+Bobbles took the picture book, then there was one.<br />
+One Christmas present&mdash;and now the list is done;<br />
+Bobbinet took the sled, and then there were none.<br />
+And the same happy child received every toy,<br />
+So many nicknames had one little boy.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</a></span></p>
+<h2><span style="margin-left: 5em;">Young America</span></h2>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 297px; margin-top: -5em;">
+<img src="images/img87-1.png" width="297" height="285" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem">
+Wee Willie sat a-thinking,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And he shook his curly head.</span><br />
+Around him on the nursery floor<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">His treasures lay outspread.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem">
+Firecrackers and torpedoes,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Trumpet and flag and drum,</span><br />
+Rockets and pinwheels and paper caps,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">For Fourth of July had come.</span></p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 92px; margin-right: 5em;">
+<img src="images/img87-2.png" width="92" height="140" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 10em;">
+&ldquo;But it makes me sort o&#8217; sorry,&rdquo;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Wee Willie said with a sigh,</span><br />
+&ldquo;To think of those poor little English boys<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Without any Fourth of July.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</a></span></p>
+<h2>A Bicycle built for Two</h2>
+
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">
+There was an ambitious young eel<br />
+Who determined to ride on a wheel;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">But try as he might,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">He couldn&#8217;t ride right,</span><br />
+In spite of his ardor and zeal.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">
+If he sat on the saddle to ride<br />
+His tail only pedalled one side;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">And I&#8217;m sure you&#8217;ll admit</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">That an eel <em>couldn&#8217;t</em> sit</span><br />
+On a bicycle saddle astride.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">
+Or if he hung over the top,<br />
+He could go, but he never could stop;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">For of course it is clear</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">He had no way to steer,</span><br />
+And under the wheel he would flop.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">
+His neighbor, observing the fun,<br />
+Said, &ldquo;I think that the thing can be done,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">If you&#8217;ll listen to me,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">You&#8217;ll quickly agree</span><br />
+That two heads are better than one.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</a></span>
+&ldquo;And this is my project, old chap,<br />
+Around our two waists I will wrap<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">This beautiful belt</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Of bottle-green felt</span><br />
+And fasten it firm with a strap.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 240px;">
+<img src="images/img89-1.png" width="240" height="191" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">
+This done, with a dignified mien<br />
+The two squirmed up on the machine,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">And rode gayly away,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Or at least, so they say,</span><br />
+Who witnessed the wonderful scene.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 250px;">
+<img src="images/img90-1.png" width="250" height="250" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<h2>Dorothy&#8217;s Opinion</h2>
+
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">
+Mamma has bought a calendar,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And every single page</span><br />
+Has pictures on of little girls<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">&#8217;Most just about my age.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">
+And when she bought it yesterday,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Down at the big bazaar,</span><br />
+She said, &ldquo;What lovely little girls,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">How true to life they are.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</a></span>
+But I don&#8217;t think they&#8217;re true to life,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And I&#8217;ll just tell you why;</span><br />
+They never have a rumpled frock<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Or ribbon bow awry.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">
+And though they play with cats and dogs,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And rabbits and white mice,</span><br />
+And sail their boats and fly their kites,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">They always look so nice.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">
+And I am sure no little girl<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">That ever <em>I</em> have seen,</span><br />
+Could play with dogs or sail a boat<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And keep her frock so clean.</span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 209px;">
+<img src="images/img91-1.png" width="209" height="80" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</a></span></p>
+<h2>The Roll of Roly Poly Roy</h2>
+
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 57px; margin-right: 7em;">
+<img src="images/img92-1.png" width="57" height="116" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+Once on a time a lad I knew&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">His sister called him Bubby;</span><br />
+His cheeks were red, his eyes were blue,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And he was plump and chubby.</span><br />
+Indeed, he was so stout a boy,<br />
+Some called him Roly Poly Roy;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">They called him that</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">For he was fat</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And very plump and chubby.</span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 140px;">
+<img src="images/img92-2.png" width="140" height="67" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+He caused his father grief profound,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And made his mother worry,</span><br />
+Because he&#8217;d roll along the ground<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">When he was in a hurry.</span><br />
+For as he couldn&#8217;t see his toes,<br />
+He often tumbled on his nose;<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[Pg 80]</a></span>
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">So, on the whole,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">&#8217;Twas best to roll</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">When he was in a hurry.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+&ldquo;Get up!&rdquo; the people urged, but he<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Replied, &ldquo;There&#8217;s no use talking;</span><br />
+I roll around because, you see,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">It&#8217;s easier than walking.&rdquo;</span><br />
+And though it looked extremely droll<br />
+To see the lad lie down and roll,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">It was, forsooth,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">For that fat youth</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Far easier than walking.</span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 131px;">
+<img src="images/img93-1.png" width="131" height="176" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+One day he thought he&#8217;d try to ride;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Alas, he was so bulky,</span><br />
+He tumbled off the other side,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Which made him rather sulky.</span><br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</a></span>
+He heard his comrades jeer and scoff,<br />
+Again he tried and tumbled off,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">And when he fell</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">They&#8217;d shout and yell&mdash;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Of course it made him sulky.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+Just out of town there was a place<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">With rolling ground and hilly,</span><br />
+And here Roy started for a race<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">With Dick and Tom and Willy.</span><br />
+You&#8217;ll know of course before you&#8217;re told<br />
+That Roy just laid him down and rolled;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">And so, you see,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">He easily</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Beat Dick and Tom and Willy.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+That day two giants came along<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">From Huncamunca Valley,</span><br />
+Seeking some tenpins good and strong<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">For their new bowling alley.</span><br />
+They reached the hilly sort of place<br />
+Just as our hero won the race;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">&ldquo;Look at him roll!&rdquo;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">They said. &ldquo;He&#8217;ll bowl</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">On our new bowling alley.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+&ldquo;The other boys are squarely built;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">For tenpins they&#8217;ll do finely!</span><br />
+No matter if a few get kilt,&rdquo;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And then they smiled benignly.</span><br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</a></span>
+Quickly they kidnapped ten small boys,<br />
+All howling with a fearful noise;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">They took them all,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">And Roy for ball,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And then they smiled benignly.</span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 271px;">
+<img src="images/img95-1.png" width="271" height="398" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+They hurried to their home and then<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Began their barbarous bowling.</span><br />
+They set in rows the children ten<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And then set Roy a-rolling.</span><br />
+But as the giants were strong and great,<br />
+They shot poor Roy at such a rate,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">And with such might,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">That out of sight</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Poor Roy was set a-rolling.</span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 304px;">
+<img src="images/img96-1.png" width="304" height="184" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+He rolled and rolled and rolled and rolled,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">But soon, his fears dispelling,</span><br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</a></span>
+With happiness he did behold<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">He&#8217;d safely reached his dwelling.</span><br />
+Secure and safe from further harms,<br />
+His mother caught him in her arms,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">And said with joy,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">&ldquo;My darling boy,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">You&#8217;ve safely reached your dwelling.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+Now rolling seems to him to be<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">More dangerous than walking.</span><br />
+And Roly Poly Roy you&#8217;ll see<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Along the sidewalks stalking.</span><br />
+He&#8217;ll always have a certain fear<br />
+That giants may be lurking near,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">And so he&#8217;ll go</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">With motion slow</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Along the sidewalk stalking.</span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 95px;">
+<img src="images/img97-1.png" width="95" height="190" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</a></span>
+<h2>My Barometer</h2>
+
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 168px; margin-top: -3.5em; margin-right: 2em;">
+<img src="images/img98-1.png" width="168" height="150" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 10em;">
+My little maid with golden hair<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Comes each morning for a kiss;</span><br />
+And I know the day will be fine and fair<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">When Polly looks like this.</span></p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 142px; margin-top: -2em;">
+<img src="images/img98-2.png" width="142" height="150" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 10em;">
+Or I know the clouds will frown and lower,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The skies will be dull and gray,</span><br />
+And perhaps there&#8217;ll be a passing shower,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">When Polly looks this way.</span></p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 177px; margin-top: -2em; margin-right: 3em;">
+<img src="images/img98-3.png" width="177" height="150" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 10em;">
+But a violent storm of rain or snow<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">I can prognosticate,</span><br />
+For the sign will never fail, I know,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">When this is Polly&#8217;s pate.</span></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</a></span></p>
+<h2>The Butter Betty Bought</h2>
+
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12.5em;">
+Betty Botta bought some butter;<br />
+&ldquo;But,&rdquo; said she, &ldquo;this butter&#8217;s bitter!<br />
+If I put it in my batter<br />
+It will make my batter bitter.<br />
+But a bit o&#8217; better butter<br />
+Will but make my batter better.&rdquo;<br />
+Then she bought a bit o&#8217; butter<br />
+Better than the bitter butter,<br />
+Made her bitter batter better.<br />
+So &#8217;twas better Betty Botta<br />
+Bought a bit o&#8217; better butter.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[Pg 87]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 319px;">
+<img src="images/img100-1.png" width="319" height="250" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<h2>A Marvel</h2>
+
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12.5em;">
+An old astronomer there was<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Who lived up in a tower,</span><br />
+Named Ptolemy Copernicus<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Flammarion McGower.</span><br />
+He said: &ldquo;I can prognosticate<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">With estimates correct;</span><br />
+And when the skies I contemplate,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">I know what to expect.</span><br />
+When dark&#8217;ning clouds obscure my sight,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">I think perhaps &#8217;twill rain;</span><br />
+And when the stars are shining bright,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">I know &#8217;tis clear again.&rdquo;</span><br />
+And then abstractedly he scanned<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The heavens, hour by hour,</span><br />
+Old Ptolemy Copernicus<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Flammarion McGower.</span></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[Pg 88]</a></span>
+<h2>An Alphabet Zoo</h2>
+
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12.5em;">
+<span class="dropcap">A</span> was an apt Alligator,<br />
+Who wanted to be a head-waiter;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">He said, &ldquo;I opine</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">In that field I could shine,</span><br />
+Because I am such a good skater.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12.5em;">
+<span class="dropcap">B</span> was a beggarly Bear,<br />
+Who carefully curled his front hair;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">He said, &ldquo;I would buy</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">A red-spotted tie,&mdash;</span><br />
+But I haven&#8217;t a penny to spare.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12.5em;">
+<span class="dropcap">C</span> was a cool Chimpanzee,<br />
+Who went to an afternoon tea.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">When they said, &ldquo;Will you take</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">A caraway cake?&rdquo;</span><br />
+He greedily took twenty-three!</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12.5em;">
+<span class="dropcap">D</span> was a diligent Doe,<br />
+In summer she shovelled the snow;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">In the spring and the fall</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">She did nothing at all,</span><br />
+And in winter the grass she would mow.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[Pg 89]</a></span></p>
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12.5em;">
+<span class="dropcap">E</span> was an erudite Ermine,<br />
+Who tried very hard to determine<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">If he <em>should</em> earn a cent,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">How it ought to be spent,</span><br />
+And decided to purchase a sermon.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12.5em;">
+<span class="dropcap">F</span> was a fussy Flamingo,<br />
+Who remarked to his family, &ldquo;By jingo!<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">I think I would go</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">To that animal show,</span><br />
+But they all talk such barbarous lingo.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12.5em;">
+<span class="dropcap">G</span> was a giddy Gazelle,<br />
+Who never could learn how to spell;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">But she managed to pass</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">To the head of her class,</span><br />
+Because she did fractions so well.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12.5em;">
+<span class="dropcap">H</span> was a haughty young Hawk,<br />
+Who affected society talk;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">But when introduced</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">At a large chicken roost</span><br />
+He excitedly screamed out, &ldquo;Oh, Lawk!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12.5em;">
+<span class="dropcap">I</span> was an idle Iguana,<br />
+Who lived upon curried banana;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">With tears he&#8217;d protest</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">That he never could rest</span><br />
+Till he learned to sing &ldquo;Eileen Alanna.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[Pg 90]</a></span></p>
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12.5em;">
+<span class="dropcap">J</span> was a jimp Jaguar,<br />
+Who purchased a Spanish guitar;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">He played popular airs</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">At <em>f&ecirc;tes</em> and at fairs,</span><br />
+And down at the Fancy Bazaar.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12.5em;">
+<span class="dropcap">K</span> was a kind Kangaroo,<br />
+Whose bonnet was always askew;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">So they asked her to wait</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">While they put it on straight</span><br />
+And fastened it firmly with glue.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12.5em;">
+<span class="dropcap">L</span> was a lachrymose Leopard,<br />
+Who ate up twelve sheep and a shepherd,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">But the real reason why</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">He continued to cry</span><br />
+Was his food was so lavishly peppered.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12.5em;">
+<span class="dropcap">M</span> was a mischievous Marten,<br />
+Who went to the Free Kindergarten;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">When they asked him to plat</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">A gay-colored mat,</span><br />
+He tackled the job like a Spartan.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12.5em;">
+<span class="dropcap">N</span> was a naughty Nylghau,<br />
+Who wandered too near a buzz saw.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">It cut off his toes,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">And the shrieks that arose</span><br />
+Filled all of the neighbors with awe.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[Pg 91]</a></span></p>
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12.5em;">
+<span class="dropcap">O</span> was an ossified Oyster,<br />
+Who decided to enter a cloister.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">He could not return,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">So continued to yearn</span><br />
+For his home in the sea, which was moister.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12.5em;">
+<span class="dropcap">P</span> was a poor old Poll Parrot,<br />
+Who had nothing to eat but a carrot,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">And nothing to wear</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">But a wig of red hair,</span><br />
+And nowhere to live but a garret.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12.5em;">
+<span class="dropcap">Q</span> was a querulous Quab<br />
+Who at every trifle would sob;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">He said, &ldquo;I detest</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">To wear a plaid vest,</span><br />
+And I hate to eat corn from the cob!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12.5em;">
+<span class="dropcap">R</span> was a rollicking Ram,<br />
+Attired in an old pillow sham.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">When asked if he&#8217;d call</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">At the masquerade ball,</span><br />
+He said, &ldquo;I&#8217;ll go just as I am.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12.5em;">
+<span class="dropcap">S</span> was a shy Salamander,<br />
+Who slept on a sunny veranda.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">She calmly reposed,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">But, alas! while she dozed</span><br />
+They caught her and killed her and canned her.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</a></span></p>
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12.5em;">
+<span class="dropcap">T</span> was a tidy young Tapir,<br />
+Who went out to bring in the paper;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">And when he came back</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">He made no muddy track,</span><br />
+For he wiped his feet clean on the scraper.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12.5em;">
+<span class="dropcap">U</span> was a young Unicorn,<br />
+The bravest that ever was born.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">They bought him a boat</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">And they set him afloat,</span><br />
+And straightway he sailed for Cape Horn.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12.5em;">
+<span class="dropcap">V</span> was a vigorous Vulture,<br />
+Who taught animals physical culture;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">When a pupil dropped dead,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">The kind teacher said,</span><br />
+&ldquo;You needn&#8217;t consider sepulture.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12.5em;">
+<span class="dropcap">W</span> was a wild Worm,<br />
+All day he did nothing but squirm.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">They sent him to school,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">But he broke every rule,</span><br />
+And left at the end of the term.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12.5em;">
+<span class="dropcap">X</span> was a Xiphias brave,<br />
+Who lived on the crest of the wave.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">To each fish he would say,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">&ldquo;Good day, sir, good day!&rdquo;</span><br />
+And then a polite bow he gave.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[Pg 93]</a></span></p>
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12.5em;">
+<span class="dropcap">Y</span> was a young Yellowhammer,<br />
+Who raised a ridiculous clamor;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">And he chattered until</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">An owl said, &ldquo;Keep still!</span><br />
+I&#8217;m trying to study my grammar.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12.5em;">
+<span class="dropcap">Z</span> was a zealous old Zibet,<br />
+Toboggans he tried to prohibit.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">If any one tried</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">To take a sly slide,</span><br />
+He ordered him hanged on a gibbet.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[Pg 94]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2><span style="margin-left: 2em;">Found Wanting</span></h2>
+
+<div id="content">
+
+<div class="wrap_area">
+<img src="images/img107-1.png" width="271" height="354" alt="image" title="" />
+
+ <div class="shape_wrap">
+ <div style="width: 170px; height: 140px;"></div>
+ <div style="width: 260px; height: 115px;"></div>
+ <div style="width: 1px; height: 115px;"></div></div>
+
+<p class="poem">
+There lived a wondrous sculptor once, a genius in his way,<br />
+Named Phidias Praxiteles Canova Merryday.<br />
+He sat within his studio and said, &ldquo;I really must<br />
+Begin a Rhodian anaglyptic ceroplastic bust.</p>
+
+<p class="poem"><br />
+&ldquo;My customers demand them, their fame rings near and far,<br />
+But then, alas, the trouble is, I don&#8217;t know what they are.<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[Pg 95]</a></span>
+Though I could carve a Venus or a Belvedere with ease,<br />
+My wondrous skill is lacking when it comes to carving these.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 7em;"><br />
+&ldquo;I cast and cut and chisel, I model and I mould,<br />
+I copy poses picturesque from studies new and old;<br />
+In marble, bronze, and potter&#8217;s clay, in wax and wood and stone<br />
+I carve the old-time statues with improvements of my own.</p></div></div>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 231px;">
+<img src="images/img108-1.png" width="231" height="251" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem">
+&ldquo;I have Apollo on a horse, Minerva on a wheel,<br />
+Hercules going fishing with his basket and his creel.<br />
+A Mercury on roller-skates, Diana with a hat,<br />
+And Venus playing tennis with Achilles at the bat.</p>
+
+<p class="poem">
+&ldquo;Yet these my customers pass by, and ask with interest keen,<br />
+For things with long and tiresome names,&mdash;I don&#8217;t know<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 4em;">what they mean.</span><br />
+And so I let my hammers hang, and let my chisels rust,<br />
+For I cannot do an anaglyptic ceroplastic bust.&rdquo;</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[Pg 96]</a></span></p>
+<h2>A Tragic Tale of Tea</h2>
+
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 203px;">
+<img src="images/img109-1.png" width="203" height="102" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+The Beetle was blind, and the Bat was blinder,<br />
+And they went to take tea with the Scissors-grinder.<br />
+The Scissors-grinder had gone away<br />
+Across the ocean to spend the day;<br />
+But he&#8217;d tied his bell to the grapevine swing.<br />
+The Bat and the Beetle heard it ring,<br />
+And neither the Beetle nor Bat could see<br />
+Why no one offered them any tea.<br />
+So, polite and patient, they&#8217;re waiting yet<br />
+For the cup of tea they expect to get.</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 181px; margin-top: -10em;">
+<img src="images/img109-2.png" width="181" height="232" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[Pg 97]</a></span></p>
+<h2>The Erratic Rat</h2>
+
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 126px; margin-right: 5em;">
+<img src="images/img110-1.png" width="126" height="137" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+There was a ridiculous Rat<br />
+Who was awfully puffy and fat.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">&ldquo;I&#8217;ll carry,&rdquo; he said,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">&ldquo;This plate on my head,</span><br />
+&#8217;Twill answer in place of a hat.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 178px;">
+<img src="images/img110-2.png" width="178" height="126" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+And then he remarked with a frown,<br />
+&ldquo;I suppose that I must have a gown;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">I&#8217;ll make me a kilt</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Of this old crazy-quilt,</span><br />
+To wear when I&#8217;m going to town.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+&ldquo;And of course, though the weather is warm,<br />
+It may be there&#8217;ll come up a storm;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">An umbrella I&#8217;ll make</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Of a caraway cake,</span><br />
+It&#8217;ll match with my whole uniform.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[Pg 98]</a></span>
+And I&#8217;ll carry a bottle of ink<br />
+In case I should wish for a drink;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">And this flat-iron so sweet</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">I&#8217;ll take with me to eat,</span><br />
+And now I am ready, I think.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 215px;">
+<img src="images/img111-1.png" width="215" height="175" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[Pg 99]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 250px;">
+<img src="images/img112-1.png" width="250" height="250" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<h2>The Two Friends</h2>
+
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 5em;">
+A Spider and a Centipede went out to take a walk;<br />
+The Centipede said frankly, &ldquo;I will listen while you talk,<br />
+But I may appear distracted, or assume a vacant stare,<br />
+Because to keep my feet in step requires my constant care.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 8em;">
+ Said the Spider: &ldquo;I appreciate your most peculiar case,<br />
+ And your feet must be quite handy when you want to run a race;<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[Pg 100]</a></span>
+ But though you gain in some ways, in some other ways you lose;<br />
+ And, of course, my friend, you must be quite extravagant in shoes.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 5em;">
+&ldquo;Ah! yes. Ah! yes,&rdquo; a heavy sigh escaped the Centipede;<br />
+&ldquo;And I have other trials, too;&mdash;my life is hard indeed!<br />
+Why, sometimes when I&#8217;m very tired, a long, long time it takes<br />
+To ascertain with certainty which foot it is that aches.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 5em;">
+&ldquo;And when I go to dancing-class on Saturdays at three,<br />
+I find the First Position very difficult for me.<br />
+Though I put my best foot foremost, and good time I try to keep,<br />
+To my chagrin, I often find a foot or two asleep.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 8em;">
+ Athletics I attempted, but, alas! I must admit<br />
+ That every exercise I tried I put my foot in it.<br />
+ I think I&#8217;ll join a foot-ball team,&mdash;as many friends suggest,&mdash;<br />
+ Before I&#8217;ve one foot in the grave and gout in all the rest.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 5em;">
+But now I&#8217;ll say good-morning; for, my friend, I have to stop<br />
+To get my boots blacked neatly at this little boot-black&#8217;s shop;<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[Pg 101]</a></span>
+And, as you may imagine, it will keep me here some time,<br />
+But, what is worse, I&#8217;ll have to pay him many a hard-earned dime.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 8em;">
+ The Spider said good-morning, and pursued his way alone,<br />
+ And as he went he murmured, in a thoughtful undertone:<br />
+ &ldquo;I&#8217;m a happy little Spider, and I&#8217;m very glad indeed,<br />
+ That I was born an octoped and not a centipede!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 108px;">
+<img src="images/img114-1.png" width="108" height="100" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[Pg 102]</a></span>
+<h2>The Smiling Shark</h2>
+
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+There was an old Shark with a smile<br />
+So broad you could see it a mile.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">He said to his friends,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">As he sewed up the ends,</span><br />
+&ldquo;It was really too wide for the style.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 280px;">
+<img src="images/img115-1.png" width="280" height="289" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[Pg 103]</a></span></p>
+<h2>The Mercury&#8217;s Plaint</h2>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 114px; margin-right: 4.5em;">
+<img src="images/img116-1.png" width="114" height="227" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 12em;">
+I don&#8217;t know why I&#8217;m slandered so,<br />
+If I go high,&mdash;if I go low,&mdash;<br />
+There&#8217;s always some one who will say,<br />
+&ldquo;Just see that mercury to-day!&rdquo;<br />
+And whether toward the top I crawl<br />
+Or down toward zero I may fall,<br />
+They always fret, and say that I<br />
+Am far too low or far too high.<br />
+Although I try with all my might,<br />
+I never seem to strike it right.<br />
+Now I admit it seems to me<br />
+They show great inconsistency.<br />
+But <em>they</em> imply <em>I</em> am to blame;<br />
+Of course that makes my anger flame,<br />
+And in a fiery fit of pique<br />
+I stay at ninety for a week.<br />
+Or sometimes in a dull despair,<br />
+I give them just a frigid stare;<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[Pg 104]</a></span>
+And as upon their taunts I think<br />
+My spirits down to zero sink.<br />
+Mine is indeed a hopeless case;<br />
+To strive to please the human race!</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 119px;">
+<img src="images/img117-1.png" width="119" height="310" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[Pg 105]</a></span>
+<h2>The Pirate Poodle</h2>
+
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">
+Once there was a Pirate Poodle,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And he sailed the briny seas</span><br />
+From the land of Yankee Doodle<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Southward to the Caribbees.</span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 279px;">
+<img src="images/img118-1.png" width="279" height="250" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">
+He would boast with tales outlandish,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Of his valor and renown;</span><br />
+And his cutlass he would brandish<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">With a fearful pirate frown.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[Pg 106]</a></span>
+So ferocious was his manner<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">All his crew looked on, aghast;</span><br />
+And his fearful pirate banner<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Floated from his pirate mast.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">
+He reiterated proudly<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Naught had power to make him quail;</span><br />
+Yet when thunder roared <em>too</em> loudly<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">He would turn a trifle pale.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">
+And he turned a little paler<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">When there came a sudden squall;</span><br />
+For this funny little sailor<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Was ridiculously small.</span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
+<img src="images/img119-1.png" width="300" height="176" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">
+And whene&#8217;er a storm portended<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">He&#8217;d betake himself below.</span><br />
+So much fear and courage blended<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Did a pirate ever show?</span></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[Pg 107]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 219px;">
+<img src="images/img120-1.png" width="219" height="250" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<h2>An Old Love</h2>
+
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">
+Priscilla, Auntie&#8217;s promised me<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">A brand-new Paris doll;</span><br />
+And though I love you, yet you see<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">I cannot keep you all.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">
+Nursey declares I really must<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Throw one of you away;</span><br />
+And you&#8217;re the oldest, so I trust<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">You will not care to stay.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">
+You&#8217;ve lost an arm, your dress is torn,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Your wig is all awry;</span><br />
+Priscilla, you are so forlorn,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">We&#8217;ll have to say good-by.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[Pg 108]</a></span>
+And yet&mdash;oh, don&#8217;t! my dolly dear,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;"><em>Don&#8217;t</em> look so sad, I pray!</span><br />
+You precious dolly, come right here,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">You <em>shan&#8217;t</em> be thrown away!</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">
+You&#8217;re ragged, yes, and lame and blind,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">You&#8217;re really but a wreck;</span><br />
+But, dear Priscilla, never mind,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;"><em>I</em> do not care a speck.</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 13em;">
+Your eyes do nicely when they&#8217;re shut,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And I can mend the rest;</span><br />
+Well&mdash;p&#8217;raps I&#8217;ll love the new one&mdash;but<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">I&#8217;ll always love <em>you</em> best.</span></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[Pg 109]</a></span>
+<h2>Bobby&#8217;s Pocket</h2>
+
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 8em;">
+Our Bobby is a little boy, of six years old, or so;<br />
+And every kind of rubbish in his pocket he will stow.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 8em;">
+One day he thought he&#8217;d empty it (so he again could stock it);<br />
+And here&#8217;s an alphabet of what was found in Bobby&#8217;s pocket.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 8em;">
+<span class="dropcap1">A</span> was a rosy Apple, with some bites out, here and there;<br />
+<span class="dropcap1">B</span> was a bouncing rubber Ball that bounded in the air.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 8em;">
+<span class="dropcap1">C</span> was a crispy crusty Cake with citron on the top;<br />
+<span class="dropcap1">D</span> was a dancing Donkey that could jump around and hop.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 8em;">
+<span class="dropcap1">E</span> was a little robin&#8217;s Egg, all speckled blue and brown;<br />
+<span class="dropcap1">F</span> was a fluffy Feather that was white and soft as down.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 8em;">
+<span class="dropcap1">G</span> was a lively Grasshopper, whose legs and wings were green;<br />
+<span class="dropcap1">H</span> was a grimy Handkerchief that once perhaps was clean.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 8em;">
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[Pg 110]</a></span>
+<span class="dropcap1">I</span> was a plaster Image that had lost its plaster head;<br />
+<span class="dropcap1">J</span> was a jolly Jumping-Jack all painted blue and red.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 8em;">
+<span class="dropcap1">K</span> was a keen and shining Knife, &#8217;twould cut the toughest bark;<br />
+<span class="dropcap1">L</span> was a little wooden Lion, strayed out of Noah&#8217;s Ark.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 8em;">
+<span class="dropcap1">M</span> was a Marble, large and round, with colors bright and clear;<br />
+<span class="dropcap1">N</span> was a bent and rusty Nail, of little use, I fear.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 8em;">
+<span class="dropcap1">O</span> was a tiny Oil-can, which was always upside down;<br />
+<span class="dropcap1">P</span> was a Penny Bob had saved to spend some day in town.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 8em;">
+<span class="dropcap1">Q</span> was a Quilted ear-tab, which had lost its velvet mate;<br />
+<span class="dropcap1">R</span> was a Ring with a glassy gem of wondrous size and weight.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 8em;">
+<span class="dropcap1">S</span> was a String, a piece of Soap, a Stone, a Sponge, a Stick;<br />
+<span class="dropcap1">T</span> was a lump of Taffy, exceeding soft and thick.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 8em;">
+<span class="dropcap1">U</span>, an Umbrella-handle, of silver-mounted horn;<br />
+<span class="dropcap1">V</span> was a comic Valentine, a little creased and worn.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 8em;">
+<span class="dropcap1">W</span> was some sticky Wax, lovely to pinch and mould;<br />
+<span class="dropcap1">X</span> was an old Xpress receipt, worn out in every fold.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 8em;">
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[Pg 111]</a></span>
+<span class="dropcap1">Y</span> was a lot of Yellow Yarn, all bunched up like a mop;<br />
+<span class="dropcap1">Z</span> was a jagged piece of Zinc, found in a plumber&#8217;s shop.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 8em;">
+All these are Bob&#8217;s possessions; he loves every single thing;<br />
+And owning all these treasures he&#8217;s as happy as a King!</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[Pg 112]</a></span></p>
+<h2>The Instructiphone</h2>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 164px;">
+<img src="images/img125-1.png" width="164" height="250" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 10em;">
+There was a youthful genius once, a boy of thirteen years,<br />
+Named Cyrus Franklin Edison Lavoisier De Squeers.<br />
+To study he was not inclined, for fun he had a bent;<br />
+But there was just one article he wanted to invent.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 10em;">
+&ldquo;It&#8217;s a sort of a contraption which will work itself,&rdquo; he said,<br />
+&ldquo;And, without studying, will put my lessons in my head.&rdquo;<br />
+He thought and puzzled o&#8217;er his plan, he worked with might and main<br />
+To utilize the wondrous schemes within his fertile brain:</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 10em;">
+Until at last the thing was done, and to his friends said he:<br />
+&ldquo;It is the wonder of the age! Success I can foresee!<br />
+My great invention is complete, and&mdash;&#8217;tis no idle vaunt&mdash;<br />
+I&#8217;m sure that my Instructiphone will fill a long-felt want.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 10em;">
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[Pg 113]</a></span>
+&ldquo;The action is quite simple&mdash;I will try to make it clear:<br />
+This funnel-shaped receiver I apply to my left ear;<br />
+Then in this hopper I will put whate&#8217;er I wish to learn&mdash;<br />
+A page of history or of Greek,&mdash;and then this crank I&#8217;ll turn.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 10em;">
+&ldquo;The topic goes into this tube, a sort of phonograph<br />
+Which acts directly on my mind,&mdash;it <em>does</em>, you needn&#8217;t laugh!<br />
+I do not have to think at all, for, as I pull this chain,<br />
+My wonderful machine transmits the knowledge to my brain.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 10em;">
+The plan was good, the works were fine, and yet there was a flaw;<br />
+When Cyrus turned the crank around, the neighbors watched with awe.<br />
+He confidently pulled the chain with motion quick and deft;<br />
+The knowledge entered his right ear&mdash;and came out at his left.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 10em;">
+He tried again,&mdash;a page of Greek; he tried a theme occult,&mdash;<br />
+A message and an errand,&mdash;every time the same result!<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[Pg 114]</a></span>
+Then Cyrus knew that somehow his machine had missed its aim;<br />
+For though the works ran smoothly it was always just the same.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 10em;">
+No matter what the book might be, or what it was about,<br />
+It would go in at one ear,&mdash;at the other &#8217;twould come out!<br />
+So in his laboratory, baffled Cyrus sitting lone,<br />
+Strives to correct the sad defect in his Instructiphone.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 10em;">
+But it is my opinion, there&#8217;s no fault in the machine:<br />
+The trouble is that Cyrus is like other boys I&#8217;ve seen.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[Pg 115]</a></span></p>
+<h2>The Lay of the Lady Lorraine</h2>
+
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+The Lady Lorraine was sweet and fair;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The Lady Lorraine was young;</span><br />
+She had wonderful eyes and glorious hair,<br />
+And a voice of a cadence rich and rare;<br />
+Oh, she was a lady beyond compare&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">By all were her praises sung,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Till valley and plain</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Took up the refrain,</span><br />
+And rang with the praise of the Lady Lorraine.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+And besides all charms of form and face,<br />
+There were other attractions about Her Grace;<br />
+Besides her delicate, lily-white hands,<br />
+She had rolling acres and broad, rich lands;<br />
+Besides her patrician coat of arms,<br />
+She had far-reaching forests and fertile farms;<br />
+And of many an ancient and wide domain<br />
+The beautiful lady was ch&acirc;telaine.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">So of course at her door</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">There were suitors galore;</span><br />
+They came by the dozen, and came by the score.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 298px;">
+<img src="images/img129-1.png" width="298" height="351" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+They came in droves, and they came in hordes,<br />
+Titled nobility,&mdash;princes, lords,<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[Pg 116]</a></span>
+Dukes and marquises, viscounts and peers,<br />
+Ambassadors, marshals, grandees, grenadiers,<br />
+Barons and baronets, earls, and esquires,<br />
+Illustrious sons of illustrious sires:<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">But &#8217;twas ever in vain</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">They sought to attain</span><br />
+The heart and the hand of the Lady Lorraine.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">And day after day</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">They turned sadly away;</span><br />
+For the Lady Lorraine continued to say,<br />
+Decidedly, certainly, stubbornly, &ldquo;Nay!&rdquo;<br />
+She cared not for wreaths of laurel or bay,<br />
+Their titles or rent rolls or uniforms gay,<br />
+Their medals or ribbons or gaudy display,<br />
+Their splendid equipment, demeanor, or bearing;<br />
+She observed not their manners, nor what they were wearing;<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[Pg 117]</a></span>
+Their marvellous exploits for her had no charms:<br />
+Their prowess in tourney, their valor at arms;<br />
+Their wondrous achievements of brawn or of brain,&mdash;<br />
+All, all were as naught to the Lady Lorraine.<br />
+To each suitor she&#8217;d say, with her hand on her heart,<br />
+&ldquo;Sir, I ask of you only that you will depart.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+In vain they entreated, they begged and they plead,<br />
+They coaxed and besought, and they sullenly said<br />
+That she was hard-hearted, unfeeling, and cruel.<br />
+They challenged each other to many a duel;<br />
+They scowled and they scolded, they sulked and they sighed,<br />
+But they could not win Lady Lorraine for a bride.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+Now the reason for this, as you may have divined,<br />
+Was because in her maidenly heart was enshrined<br />
+The image of one who was just to her mind:<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Who was loving and kind,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">To whose faults she was blind,&mdash;</span><br />
+The lord of her heart, and the love of her life,<br />
+To whom she had promised to be a fond wife.<br />
+Her Highness was happy, for even now he<br />
+Was hastening to her across the blue sea.<br />
+He had written to say he was then on the way,<br />
+And would greet his fair lady on Christmas day.</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 25%;' />
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 162px; margin-top: 5em;">
+<img src="images/img131-1.png" width="162" height="119" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+&#8217;Twas Christmas eve. In the old oak hall<br />
+Preparations were made for the Christmas ball.<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[Pg 118]</a></span>
+Gay garlands were hung from ceiling and wall;<br />
+The Yule log was laid, the tables arrayed,<br />
+And the Lady Lorraine and her whole cavalcade,<br />
+From the pompous old steward to the scullery-maid,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Were all in a fluster,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Excitement and bluster,</span><br />
+And everything shone with a marvellous lustre.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+Such savory viands the larders presented;<br />
+Such wondrous confections the bakers invented:<br />
+Such pasties and cates of eccentric design;<br />
+Such sparkling decanters of rarest old wine;<br />
+And ready at hand was the great wassail-bowl,<br />
+And the jolly old boar&#8217;s head, with lemon, so droll.<br />
+The nook for musicians was carefully planned,<br />
+And carols and glees would be played by the band.</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 65px; margin-top: -5em; margin-right: 3em;">
+<img src="images/img131-2.png" width="65" height="77" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+At last all was ready. The workmen were done;<br />
+And awaiting the jollity, mirth, and frivolity,<br />
+The games and the dancing, the feasting and fun,<br />
+The old hall was empty,&mdash;save only for one,&mdash;<br />
+The Lady Lorraine, who surveyed it with pride,<br />
+And said, &ldquo;It is worthy of Lord Cecil&#8217;s bride!&rdquo;<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[Pg 119]</a></span>
+Then a bright smile illumined her happy young face,<br />
+Her roguish eyes twinkled, and gayly Her Grace<br />
+Crossed the old polished floor with a step light and quick,<br />
+And her high slipper heels went clickety-click.<br />
+She looked cautiously round,&mdash;she was all by herself;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Like a mischievous elf,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">She took from a shelf</span><br />
+A mistletoe spray with its berries like pearls;<br />
+Then tossing her head and shaking her curls,<br />
+In a manner half daring and yet half afraid,<br />
+The madcap maid, with a smile that betrayed<br />
+Expectant thoughts of her lover dear,<br />
+Fastened the spray to the chandelier.</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 100px; margin-top: -12em; margin-right: 4em;">
+<img src="images/img132-1.png" width="100" height="222" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+Then in a merry, fanciful mood,<br />
+Inspired by the time and the solitude,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">The Lady Lorraine,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">In whimsical vein,</span><br />
+Said, &ldquo;On Christmas eve, &#8217;neath this mistletoe bough,<br />
+I&#8217;ll solemnly make an immutable vow.&rdquo;<br />
+With a glance at the portraits that hung on the wall,<br />
+She said, &ldquo;I adjure ye to witness, all:<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[Pg 120]</a></span>
+I vow by the names that I&#8217;ve long revered,&mdash;<br />
+By my great-great-grandfather&#8217;s great gray beard,<br />
+By my father&#8217;s sword, by my uncle&#8217;s hat,<br />
+By my spinster aunt&#8217;s Angora cat,<br />
+By my ancient grandame&#8217;s buckled shoes,<br />
+By my uncle Gregory&#8217;s marvellous brews,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">By Sir Sydney&#8217;s wig,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">And his ruff so big,&mdash;</span><br />
+Indeed, by his whole preposterous rig,&mdash;<br />
+By the scutcheon and crest, and all the rest<br />
+Of the signs of my house, I vow this vow:<br />
+That whoever beneath this mistletoe bough<br />
+Shall first kiss me, he&mdash;none but he&mdash;<br />
+My partner for life shall henceforth be.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 115px; margin-left: 3em; margin-top: -20em;">
+<img src="images/img133-1.png" width="115" height="100" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 91px; margin-right: 2.5em; margin-top: 5em;">
+<img src="images/img133-2.png" width="91" height="139" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+She had scarcely ceased when she heard a sound.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">She looked around,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">And, startled, found</span><br />
+From the old oak chimney place it came.<br />
+For there, as if in an old oak frame,<br />
+A figure quaint, yet familiar too,<br />
+Met her astonished, bewildered view.<br />
+Of aspect merry, yet something weird,<br />
+With kind blue eyes and a long white beard,<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[Pg 121]</a></span>
+Fur-trimmed cloak, and a peak&egrave;d cap,<br />
+Rosy cheeks,&mdash;a jolly old chap;<br />
+And, though surprised, she recognized<br />
+St. Nicholas, dear to her childhood days,<br />
+And she met his smile with a welcome gaze.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+The jolly old man beheld Her Grace,<br />
+With her laughing eyes and her winsome face;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">He couldn&#8217;t resist her,&mdash;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 4em;">Indeed, who could?&mdash;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">And he heartily kissed her</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 4em;">Where she stood!</span><br />
+And exultingly cried, &ldquo;I heard your vow;<br />
+And Lady Lorraine shall be <em>my</em> bride now!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 109px; margin-top: -3em; margin-right: 2em;">
+<img src="images/img134-1.png" width="109" height="170" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+The lady trembled, as in a daze;<br />
+With a startled gaze of blank amaze,<br />
+She looked at the figure who stood by her side<br />
+And audaciously claimed her for his bride.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Then she bowed her head</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">And the color fled</span><br />
+From the cheeks that his kiss had flushed rosy red.<br />
+Her heart was filled with a sad despair<br />
+As she thought of her lover, Lord Cecil Clare,<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[Pg 122]</a></span>
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">And his dire dismay</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">When on Christmas day</span><br />
+He should ride up gayly in brave array,<br />
+And find his sweetheart stolen away.</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+But the honor and pride of her race were at stake;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">And for conscience&#8217; sake</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">She dared not break</span><br />
+Her solemn vow, though her heart might ache.<br />
+To be true to her word, her sire had taught her,<br />
+And she was a loyal, obedient daughter.<br />
+She appealed to the portraits of squires and dames,<br />
+Who looked sternly down from their gilded frames;<br />
+But they seemed to say, &ldquo;There must ne&#8217;er be broken<br />
+A promise or vow a Lorraine has spoken.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+With stifled sighs, and with tears in her eyes,<br />
+Though she tried to assume a cheerful guise,<br />
+She turned to the suitor who stood apart,<br />
+Awaiting the gift of her hand and heart;<br />
+And she said with a gentle, dignified air:<br />
+&ldquo;My heart belongs to Lord Cecil Clare;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">But my fatal vow,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Though I rue it now,</span><br />
+I dare not break. So, at your command,<br />
+I fulfil it! On you I bestow my hand.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+&ldquo;O noble lady!&rdquo; her suitor cried,<br />
+&ldquo;&#8217;Twas only a merry test I tried.<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[Pg 123]</a></span>
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Full well I knew</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">That your heart was true.</span><br />
+Behold your lover, my bonny bride!<br />
+I assumed this guise for a Christmas joke.&rdquo;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">And as he spoke,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">He threw off his cloak,</span><br />
+He flung to the floor his peak&egrave;d hood,<br />
+And a gallant knight before her stood!</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 189px;">
+<img src="images/img136-1.png" width="189" height="180" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+He doffed his wig and his long white beard;<br />
+All signs of St. Nicholas disappeared;<br />
+And smiling there, in the firelight&#8217;s glare,<br />
+Was the gay and noble Lord Cecil Clare!</p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+The lady marvelled&mdash;a glad surprise<br />
+Betokened itself in her lovely eyes;<br />
+And with her merriment quite restored,<br />
+She said, &ldquo;You are welcome home, my lord;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">And I&#8217;m thankful, now,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">That I kept my vow.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p class="poem" style="margin-left: 11em;">
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[Pg 124]</a></span>
+Lord Cecil raised her hand to his lips,<br />
+And gallantly kissed her finger tips;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">While the squires and dames</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Looked down from their frames,</span><br />
+And &ldquo;Bless you, my children!&rdquo; they seemed to say.<br />
+Then the band appeared, and began to play;<br />
+The guests arrived, and without delay<br />
+The fun commenced, and the old oak hall<br />
+Never had known such a Christmas ball!<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">The feast was spread,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">And the dance was led</span><br />
+By the knight and the lady, and every one said,<br />
+With a shout that rent the midnight air,<br />
+&ldquo;Long live Lord Cecil and Lady Clare!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 253px;">
+<img src="images/img137-1.png" width="253" height="200" alt="image" title="" />
+</div>
+
+</div>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Jingle Book, by Carolyn Wells
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+</pre>
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+</body>
+</html>
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Jingle Book, by Carolyn Wells
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Jingle Book
+
+Author: Carolyn Wells
+
+Illustrator: Oliver Herford
+
+Release Date: February 9, 2008 [EBook #24560]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE JINGLE BOOK ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Anne Storer and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
+produced from images generously made available by The
+Internet Archive/American Libraries.)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+ THE JINGLE BOOK
+
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+ The Tutor
+
+
+ A tutor who tooted the flute
+ Tried to teach two young tooters to toot.
+ Said the two to the tutor,
+ "Is it harder to toot, or
+ To tutor two tooters to toot?"
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+ THE JINGLE BOOK
+
+ BY
+ CAROLYN WELLS
+
+
+ Pictured by
+ OLIVER HERFORD
+
+
+
+ New York
+ THE MACMILLAN COMPANY
+ LONDON: MACMILLAN & CO., LTD.
+ 1901
+
+ _All rights reserved_
+
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+ COPYRIGHT, 1899,
+ BY THE MACMILLAN COMPANY.
+
+
+ Set up and electrotyped October, 1899.
+ Reprinted November, 1899; June, 1901.
+
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+ To Hilda's Child
+
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+ CONTENTS
+
+
+ THE TUTOR _Frontispiece_
+ PAGE
+ A SERIOUS QUESTION 1
+ TWO OLD KINGS 2
+ A DAY DREAM 5
+ OUR CLUB 7
+ PUZZLED 9
+ AN INTERCEPTED VALENTINE 11
+ A LONG-FELT WANT 13
+ THE MUSICAL CARP 14
+ THE INTELLIGENT HEN 15
+ THE HAPPY HYENA 17
+ A GREAT LADY 18
+ OPULENT OLLIE 20
+ THE TWO BEARS 21
+ THE MACARONI MAN 24
+ THE 4.04 TRAIN 29
+ A VALUABLE GIFT 30
+ THE GRANDILOQUENT GOAT 32
+ HOW THE CAT WAS BELLED 33
+ TRIANGULAR TOMMY 40
+ A MODERN INVENTION 45
+ AN APRIL JOKE 46
+ AN ALICE ALPHABET 48
+ THE FUNNY KITTENS 57
+ THE STRIKE OF THE FIREWORKS 60
+ THE ARCH ARMADILLO 63
+ A DREAM LESSON 64
+ THE RIVALS 68
+ THE NEW CUP 70
+ A PHOTOGRAPHIC FAILURE 71
+ CHRISTMAS GIFTS 73
+ YOUNG AMERICA 74
+ A BICYCLE BUILT FOR TWO 75
+ DOROTHY'S OPINION 77
+ ROLY POLY ROY 79
+ MY BAROMETER 85
+ THE BUTTER BETTY BOUGHT 86
+ A MARVEL 87
+ AN ALPHABET ZOO 88
+ FOUND WANTING 94
+ A TRAGIC TALE OF TEA 96
+ THE ERRATIC RAT 97
+ THE TWO FRIENDS 99
+ THE SMILING SHARK 102
+ THE MERCURY'S PLAINT 103
+ THE PIRATE POODLE 105
+ AN OLD LOVE 107
+ BOBBY'S POCKET 109
+ THE INSTRUCTIPHONE 112
+ THE LAY OF THE LADY LORRAINE 115
+
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+ The Jingle Book
+
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+ A Serious Question
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ A kitten went a-walking
+ One morning in July,
+ And idly fell a-talking
+ With a great big butterfly.
+
+ The kitten's tone was airy,
+ The butterfly would scoff;
+ When there came along a fairy
+ Who whisked his wings right off.
+
+ And then--for it is written
+ Fairies can do such things--
+ Upon the startled kitten
+ She stuck the yellow wings.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ The kitten felt a quiver,
+ She rose into the air,
+ Then flew down to the river
+ To view her image there.
+
+ With fear her heart was smitten,
+ And she began to cry,
+ "Am I a butter-kitten?
+ Or just a kitten-fly?"
+
+
+
+
+ Two Old Kings
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Oh! the King of Kanoodledum
+ And the King of Kanoodledee,
+ They went to sea
+ In a jigamaree--
+ A full-rigged jigamaree.
+
+ And one king couldn't steer,
+ And the other, no more could he;
+ So they both upset
+ And they both got wet,
+ As wet as wet could be.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ And one king couldn't swim
+ And the other, he couldn't, too;
+ So they had to float,
+ While their empty boat
+ Danced away o'er the sea so blue.
+
+ Then the King of Kanoodledum
+ He turned a trifle pale,
+ And so did he
+ Of Kanoodledee,
+ But they saw a passing sail!
+
+ And one king screamed like fun
+ And the other king screeched like mad,
+ And a boat was lowered
+ And took them aboard;
+ And, my! but those kings were glad!
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ A Day Dream
+
+
+ Polly's patchwork--oh, dear me!--
+ Truly is a sight to see.
+ Rumpled, crumpled, soiled, and frayed--
+ Will the quilt be ever made?
+ See the stitches yawning wide--
+ Can it be that Polly _tried_?
+
+ Some are right and some are wrong,
+ Some too short and some too long,
+ Some too loose and some too tight;
+ Grimy smudges on the white,
+ And a tiny spot of red,
+ Where poor Polly's finger bled.
+ Strange such pretty, dainty blocks--
+ Bits of Polly's summer frocks--
+ Should have proved so hard to sew,
+ And the cause of so much woe!
+
+ One day it was _very_ hot,
+ And the thread got in a knot,
+ Drew the seam up in a heap--
+ Polly calmly fell asleep.
+ Then she had a lovely dream;
+ Straight and even was the seam,
+ Pure and spotless was the white;
+ All the blocks were finished quite--
+ Each joined to another one.
+ Lo, behold! the quilt was done,--
+ Lined and quilted,--and it seemed
+ To cover Polly as she dreamed!
+
+
+
+
+ Our Club
+
+
+ We're going to have the mostest fun!
+ It's going to be a club;
+ And no one can belong to it
+ But Dot and me and Bub.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ We thought we'd have a Reading Club,
+ But couldn't 'cause, you see,
+ Not one of us knows how to read--
+ Not Dot nor Bub nor me.
+
+ And then we said a Sewing Club,
+ But thought we'd better not;
+ 'Cause none of us knows how to sew--
+ Not me nor Bub nor Dot.
+
+ And so it's just a Playing Club,
+ We play till time for tea;
+ And, oh, we have the bestest times!
+ Just Dot and Bub and me.
+
+
+
+
+ Puzzled
+
+
+ There lived in ancient Scribbletown a wise old writer-man,
+ Whose name was Homer Cicero Demosthenes McCann.
+ He'd written treatises and themes till, "For a change," he said,
+ "I think I'll write a children's book before I go to bed."
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ He pulled down all his musty tomes in Latin and in Greek;
+ Consulted cyclopaedias and manuscripts antique,
+ Essays in Anthropology, studies in counterpoise--
+ "For these," he said, "are useful lore for little girls and boys."
+
+ He scribbled hard, and scribbled fast, he burned the midnight oil,
+ And when he reached "The End" he felt rewarded for his toil;
+ He said, "This charming Children's Book is greatly to my credit."
+ And now he's sorely puzzled that no child has ever read it.
+
+
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ An Intercepted Valentine
+
+
+ Little Bo-Peep, will you be mine?
+ I want you for my Valentine.
+ You are my choice of all the girls,
+ With your blushing cheeks and your fluttering curls,
+ With your ribbons gay and your kirtle neat,
+ None other is so fair and sweet.
+ Little Bo-Peep, let's run away,
+ And marry each other on Midsummer Day;
+ And ever to you I'll be fond and true,
+
+ Your faithful Valentine,
+ LITTLE BOY BLUE.
+
+
+
+
+ A Long-Felt Want
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ One day wee Willie and his dog
+ Sprawled on the nursery floor.
+ He had a florist's catalogue,
+ And turned the pages o'er,
+
+ Till all at once he gave a spring,
+ "Hurrah!" he cried with joy;
+ "Mamma, here's just the very thing
+ To give your little boy!
+
+ "For when we fellows go to school,
+ We lose our things, you know;
+ And in that little vestibule
+ They do get mixed up so.
+
+ "And as you often say you can't
+ Take care of 'em for me,
+ Why don't you buy a _rubber plant_,
+ And an _umbrella tree_?"
+
+
+
+
+ The Musical Carp
+
+
+ There once was a corpulent carp
+ Who wanted to play on a harp,
+ But to his chagrin
+ So short was his fin
+ That he couldn't reach up to C sharp.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ The Intelligent Hen
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ 'Twas long ago,--a year or so,--
+ In a barnyard by the sea,
+ That an old hen lived whom you may know
+ By the name of Fiddle-de-dee.
+ She scratched around in the sand all day,
+ For a lively old hen was she.
+
+ And then do you know, it happened this way
+ In that barnyard by the sea;
+ A great wise owl came down one day,
+ And hooted at Fiddle-de-dee,
+ Just hooted at Fiddle-de-dee.
+ And he cried, "Hi! Hi! old hen, I say!
+ You're provincial, it seems to me!"
+
+ "Why, what do you mean?" cried the old red hen,
+ As mad as hops was she.
+ "Oh, I've been 'round among great men,
+ In the world where the great men be.
+ And none of them scratch with their claws like you,
+ They write with a quill like me."
+
+ Now very few people could get ahead
+ Of that old hen, Fiddle-de-dee.
+ She went and hunted the posy-bed,
+ And returned in triumphant glee.
+ And ever since then, that little red hen,
+ She writes with a jonquil pen, quil pen,
+ She writes with a jonquil pen.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ The Happy Hyena
+
+
+ There once was a happy Hyena
+ Who played on an old concertina.
+ He dressed very well,
+ And in his lapel
+ He carelessly stuck a verbena.
+
+
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ A Great Lady
+
+
+ This is the Queen of Nonsense Land,
+ She wears her bonnet on her hand;
+ She carpets her ceilings and frescos her floors,
+ She eats on her windows and sleeps on her doors.
+ Oh, ho! Oh, ho! to think there could be
+ A lady so silly-down-dilly as she!
+
+ She goes for a walk on an ocean wave,
+ She fishes for cats in a coral cave;
+ She drinks from an empty glass of milk,
+ And lines her potato trees with silk.
+ I'm sure that fornever and never was seen
+ So foolish a thing as the Nonsense Queen!
+
+ She ordered a wig for a blue bottle fly,
+ And she wrote a note to a pumpkin pie;
+ She makes all the oysters wear emerald rings,
+ And does dozens of other nonsensible things.
+ Oh! the scatterbrained, shatterbrained lady so grand,
+ Her Royal Skyhighness of Nonsense Land!
+
+
+
+
+ Opulent Ollie
+
+
+ One Saturday opulent Ollie
+ Thought he'd go for a ride on the trolley;
+ But his pennies were few,--
+ He only had two,--
+ So he went and made mud-pies with Polly.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ The Two Bears
+
+
+ Prince Curlilocks remarked one day
+ To Princess Dimplecheek,
+ "I haven't had a real good play
+ For more than 'most a week."
+
+ Said Princess Dimplecheek, "My dear,
+ Your majesty forgets--
+ This morning we played grenadier
+ With grandpa's epaulets.
+
+ "And yesterday we sailed to Spain--
+ We both were pirates bold,
+ And braved the wild and raging main
+ To seek for hidden gold."
+
+ "True," said the prince; "I mind me well--
+ Right hardily we fought,
+ And stormed a massive citadel
+ To gain the prize we sought.
+
+ "But if your ladyship agrees,
+ Methinks we'll go upstairs
+ And build a waste of arctic seas,
+ And we'll be polar bears."
+
+ "Yes, if you'll promise not to bite,"
+ Fair Dimplecheek replied,
+ Already half-way up the flight,
+ His highness by her side.
+
+ "Princess, on that far window-seat,
+ Go, sit thee down and wait,
+ While I ask nursie for a sheet,
+ Or maybe six or eight."
+
+ A pile of sheets his highness brought.
+ "Dear princess, pray take these;
+ Although our path with danger's fraught,
+ We'll reach the polar seas."
+
+ Two furry rugs his lordship bore,
+ Two pairs of mittens white;
+ He threw them on the nursery floor
+ And shouted with delight.
+
+ He spread those sheets--the funny boy--
+ O'er table, floor, and chair.
+ "Princess," said he, "don't you enjoy
+ This frosty, bracing air?
+
+ "These snowy sheets are fields of ice,
+ This is an iceberg grim."
+ "Yes, dear, I think it's very nice,"
+ She said, and smiled at him.
+
+ And then they donned the rugs of fur,
+ The mittens, too, they wore;
+ And Curlilocks remarked to her,
+ "Now you must roar and roar."
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Dimplecheek looked out from the cowl
+ Formed by her furry rug.
+ "I'm 'fraid of bears that only growl--
+ I like the kind that hug."
+
+
+
+
+ The Very Merry Voyage of the Macaroni Man
+
+
+ This figure here before you is a Macaroni Man,
+ Who is built, as you may notice, on a most ingenious plan.
+ His skeleton, I beg to state, is made of hairpins three,
+ Which are bent and curved and twisted to a marvellous degree.
+ His coat-sleeves and his trouser-legs, his head and eke his waist
+ Are made of superfine imported macaroni paste.
+ And if you care to listen, you may hear the thrilling tale
+ Of the merry Macaroni Man's extraordinary sail.
+ One sunny day he started for a voyage in his yacht,
+ His anxious mother called to him, and said, "You'd better not!
+ Although the sun is shining bright, I fear that it may rain;
+ And don't you think, my darling boy, you'd better take the train?"
+ "Oh, no," said he, "no clouds I see,--the sky is blue and clear,
+ I will return in time for tea--good-by, my mother dear."
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Full merrily he started off, the day was fine and fair,
+ And to his great delight he found no dampness in the air.
+ You know if he gets wet, a Macaroni Man is spoiled,
+ And if he stands too near the steam, of course he may get boiled.
+ But our hero used precautions,--carefully he shunned the spray,--
+ And when the steam blew toward him, he just steered the other way.
+ Now, as the breeze was from the land, his course lay out to sea;
+ He sailed so far that he felt sure he would be late for tea.
+ He sailed, and sailed, and sailed, and sailed,--
+ he feared the dew would fall--
+ He tried to turn,--but oh, that steam! it would not do at all!
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ A single puff blew toward him, and it nearly cooked his face!
+ The mournful Macaroni Man felt sadly out of place.
+ But a happy thought occurred to him, "Ha, ha,--ho, ho!" said he,--
+ "I'll just sail on around the world,--and then, it seems to me,
+ I'll reach my home (according to a careful estimate)
+ In time for tea, although I'll be perhaps a trifle late."
+ Then merrily his gallant ship sped o'er the bounding main,
+ Quickly he crossed the ocean wide, he flew by France and Spain;
+ Covered the Mediterranean, spanned the Suez Canal,--
+ "I'll reach my home to-night," he thought, "oh, yes, I'm sure I shall."
+ He skimmed the Red Sea like a bird,--the Indian Ocean crossed
+ (But once, in Oceanica, he feared that he was lost).
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ He passed Australia on the fly,--cut over Capricorn,
+ And as the sunset gun he heard, he swung around Cape Horn.
+ Still at full speed, he sailed due north, he rounded Cape St. Roque,
+ Crossed the equator, and found out the Gulf Stream was no joke.
+ He coasted by the seaboard States. Hurrah! all danger past,
+ Quickly he sailed the last few miles and reached his home at last;
+ His mother welcomed him, and said, "I'm glad there was no shower;
+ But hurry in, my bonny boy, I've waited tea an hour."
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ The 4.04 Train
+
+
+ "There's a train at 4.04," said Miss Jenny;
+ "Four tickets I'll take. Have you any?"
+ Said the man at the door:
+ "Not four for 4.04,
+ For four for 4.04 is too many."
+
+
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ A Valuable Gift
+
+
+ Old Father Time, one day
+ In his study, so they say,
+ Was indulging in a surreptitious nap,
+ When from his drowsy dreams
+ He was wakened, as it seems,
+ By a timid but persistent little rap.
+
+ He yawned and rubbed his eyes
+ In indolent surprise,
+ Then slowly he arose from where he sat;
+ He opened wide his door,
+ And nearly tumbled o'er
+ The figure that stood waiting on the mat.
+
+ A tiny little dog,
+ With excitement all agog,
+ And angry eyes that seemed to flash and glower.
+ His manner was polite,
+ But he said, "I claim my right!
+ And I've called, sir, to demand of you my hour."
+
+ "Your what?" the old man said,
+ As he shook his puzzled head;
+ And the pertinacious puppy spoke with force:
+ "Well, sir, they often say,
+ 'Every dog must have his day,'
+ So a puppy ought to have an hour, of course!"
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ The old man shook with glee,
+ But he said obligingly,
+ "The dog days are all gone, I grieve to say;
+ But since you've come so far,
+ And so mannerly you are,
+ I'll give you just an hour--to get away."
+
+
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ The Grandiloquent Goat
+
+
+ A very grandiloquent Goat
+ Sat down to a gay table d'hote;
+ He ate all the corks,
+ The knives and the forks,
+ Remarking: "On these things I dote."
+
+ Then, before his repast he began,
+ While pausing the menu to scan,
+ He said: "Corn, if you please,
+ And tomatoes and pease,
+ I'd like to have served in the can."
+
+
+
+
+ How the Cat was Belled
+
+
+ A fable told by La Fontaine,
+ Two centuries or more ago,
+ Describes some rats who would arraign
+ A cat, their direst foe,
+ Who killed so many rats
+ And caused the deepest woe,
+ This Catiline of cats.
+
+ The poor rats were at their wits' end
+ Their homes and families to defend;
+ And as a last resort
+ They took the case to court.
+
+ It seems they called a caucus wise
+ Of rats of every age and size,
+ And then their dean,
+ With sapient mien,
+ A very Solon of a rat,
+ Said it was best to bell the cat.
+
+ The quaint old tale goes on to tell
+ How this plan would have worked quite well,
+ But, somehow, flaws
+ Appeared, because
+ No one would hang the bell.
+
+ Though there the ancient fable ends,
+ Later report the tale extends,
+ No longer is the truth withheld;
+ Developments appear,
+ And so you have it here.
+ For the first time
+ Set down in rhyme
+ Just how that cat was belled.
+
+ The council, as 'twas getting late,
+ Was just about to separate,
+ When suddenly a rat arose
+ Who said he could a plan propose
+ Which would, he thought, succeed
+ And meet their urgent need.
+
+ Now as this rat was very small,
+ And had no dignity at all,
+ Although his plan was well advised,
+ We really need not be surprised
+ That all the rats of riper years
+ Expressed the gravest doubts and fears;
+ Till suddenly
+ He said, said he,
+ "If you will leave it all to me,
+ I will avow
+ Three days from now
+ That you shall all be free."
+ The solemn council then adjourned.
+ Each rat to home and fireside turned;
+ But each shook his wise head
+ And to his neighbor said:
+ "It is a dangerous job, in truth,
+ Though it seems naught to headstrong youth."
+
+ Now young Sir Rat we next behold,
+ With manner brave and visage bold,
+ Go marching down
+ To London town,
+ Where wondrous things are sold.
+ We see him stop
+ At a large shop,
+ And with the bland clerk's courteous aid
+ This was the purchase that he made:
+ A bicycle of finest make,
+ With modern gear and patent brake,
+ Pedometer, pneumatic tire,
+ And spokes that looked like silver wire,
+ A lantern bright
+ To shine at night,
+ Enamel finish, nickel plate,
+ And all improvements up to date.
+ Said sly Sir Rat: "It suits me well,
+ Especially that sweet-toned _bell_."
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ The shades of night were falling fast
+ When Sir Rat turned toward home at last.
+ The neighbors watched him as he passed
+ And said: "What is that queer-shaped thing?
+ Surely that can't be made to ring."
+ Sir Rat went on, nor stayed
+ To hear the jests they made;
+ And just outside the old cat's gate
+ He stopped and boldly braved his fate,
+ For if that cat
+ Should smell a rat
+ How quickly he'd come out and catch him,
+ And with what gusto he'd despatch him!
+ Sir Rat, against the picket-fence
+ Leaned the machine, then hurried hence,
+ And hid himself with glee,
+ And waited breathlessly
+ To see what that
+ Cantankerous cat
+ Would say, when in the twilight dim
+ He saw that brightly shining rim.
+
+ Sir Rat, though hidden quite,
+ And safely out of sight,
+ Had scarcely time to wink his eye,
+ When Mr. Cat came sauntering by.
+
+ "Ha! Ha!" said he,
+ "What's this I see,
+ A bicycle! and just my size!
+ Well, this, indeed, is a surprise!
+ I'll confiscate
+ This treasure great;
+ How quickly I'll fly o'er the ground
+ When I pursue my hunting round!"
+
+ He mounted it with eager haste,
+ It suited well his sporting taste;
+ He guided it at will,
+ And used the brake with skill,
+ He grasped the handle-bars, and then--
+ You see it was his custom when
+ He did a thing, to do it well--
+ Of course he used the clear-toned bell!
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Victory now! the deed is done!
+ No longer at the set of sun
+ The rats fly shrieking to their nests,
+ They saunter round with merry jests
+ And ne'er a thought of fear,
+ Knowing full well
+ They'll hear the bell
+ When Mr. Cat draws near.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ And young Sir Rat who did the deed,
+ Whose cleverness relieved their need,
+ His wondrous enterprise
+ Was lauded to the skies.
+ And everywhere his name
+ Was hailed with shouts of fame.
+
+ In difficulties, oft we see
+ Modern improvements frequently
+ Will prove a happy remedy.
+
+
+
+
+ The Rhyme of Triangular Tommy
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Triangular Tommy, one morning in May,
+ Went out for a walk on the public highway.
+ Just here I will say,
+ 'Twas a bright sunny day,
+ And the sky it was blue, and the grass it was green,
+ The same sky and grass that you've all of you seen;
+ And the birds in the trees sang their usual song,
+ And Triangular Tommy went trudging along.
+
+ But I can tell you
+ He cared naught for the view.
+ He did just what small boys of his age always do:
+ He shouted out "Scat!"
+ At a wandering cat,
+ And he picked a big daisy to stick in his hat;
+ The clovers he topped,
+ And the toadstools he cropped,
+ And sometimes he scuffled and sometimes he hopped.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ He took an old stick and poked at a worm,
+ And merrily chuckled to see the thing squirm;
+ When he chanced to look up, and in gorgeous array
+ Triangular Tilly was coming his way.
+ Triangular Tom straightened up in a jiff,
+ And put on his best manner--exceedingly stiff;
+ And as far as his angular shape would allow
+ Triangular Tom made a beautiful bow.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Triangular Tilly went smilingly by,
+ With a glance that was friendly, but just a bit shy.
+ And Tom so admired her that after she passed,
+ A backward look over his shoulder he cast.
+ And he said, "Though I think many girls are but silly,
+ I really admire that Triangular Tilly."
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ But soon all such thoughts were put out of his head,
+ For who should come by but Triangular Ted,
+ The very boy Tom had been wishing to see!
+ "Hello!" said Triangular Tommy, said he.
+ "Hello!" said Triangular Ted, and away
+ Those two children scooted to frolic and play.
+ And they had, on the green,
+ Where 'twas all dry and clean,
+ The best game of leap-frog that ever was seen.
+ Triangular Tom beat down this way, you know,
+ And Triangular Ted stood beside him, just so,
+ When one, two, three--go!
+ With the greatest gusto,
+ Ted flew over Tom in a manner not slow.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ They played hide-and-seek, they played marbles and tag,
+ They played they were soldiers, and each waved a flag;
+ Till at last they confessed,
+ They wanted to rest;
+ So they sat down and chatted with laughter and jest;
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ When Schoolmaster Jones they suddenly spied,
+ Come clumping along with his pedagogue stride,
+ As usual, with manner quite preoccupied;
+ With his hat on one side,
+ And his shoe-lace untied--
+ A surly old fellow, it can't be denied;
+ And each wicked boy
+ Thought that he would enjoy
+ An occasion the thoughtful old man to annoy,
+ And all of his wise calculations destroy.
+ So they thought they'd employ
+ A means known to each boy.
+ And across the wide pavement they fastened a twine
+ Exceedingly strong but exceedingly fine;
+ And Triangular Tommy laughed out in his glee,
+ To think how upset the old master would be!
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Although very wicked, their mischievous scheme
+ Was a perfect success; and with a loud scream,
+ A horrible clash,
+ A thump and a smash,
+ Old Schoolmaster Jones came down with a crash.
+ His hat rolled away, and his spectacles broke,
+ And those dreadful boys thought it a howling good joke.
+ And they just doubled up in immoderate glee,
+ Saying, "Look at the Schoolmaster!
+ Tee-hee! tee-hee!"
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Tom gave a guffaw,
+ And Ted roared a "haw-haw";
+ But soon their diversion was turned into awe,
+ For old Schoolmaster Jones was angry, they saw.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Triangular Ted
+ Turned swiftly and fled,
+ And far down the street like a reindeer he sped,
+ Leaving Tommy to face the old gentleman's rage,
+ Who quickly jumped up,--he was brisk for his age,--
+ And with just indignation portrayed on his face,
+ To Triangular Tommy he quickly gave chase.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ And hearing his squeals
+ And his frantic appeals,
+ Triangular Tommy fast took to his heels.
+ Now Tommy was agile and Tommy was spry;
+ He whizzed through the air--he just seemed to fly;
+ He rushed madly on, until, dreadful to say!
+ He came where the railroad was just in his way--
+ And alas! and alack!
+ He tripped on the track
+ And then with a terrible, sudden ker-thwack!
+ Triangular Tommy sprawled flat on his back--
+ And the train came along with a crash, and a crack,
+ A din, and a clatter, a clang, and a clack,
+ A toot, and a boom, and a roar, and a hiss,
+ And chopped him up all into pieces like this--
+ If _you_ cut out papers just like them, why, then,
+ If you try, you can put him together again.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ A Modern Invention
+
+
+ Old Santa Claus is up-to-date,
+ And hereafter, rumors say,
+ He'll come with his pack of glittering toys,
+ And visit the homes of girls and boys,
+ In a new reindeerless sleigh.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ An April Joke
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Oh, it was a merry, gladsome day,
+ When the April Fool met the Queen of May;
+ She had roguish eyes and golden hair,
+ And they were a mischief-making pair.
+ They planned the funniest kind of a joke
+ On the poor, long-suffering mortal folk;
+ And a few mysterious words he said,
+ His fool's cap close to her flower-crowned head.
+ Then he laughed till he made his cap-bells ring,
+ At the thought of the topsy-turvy Spring.
+ "'Tis a fair exchange," he said, with a wink--
+ "It is!" she said, and what do you think?
+ The flowers that should bloom in the month of May
+ Every one of them came on an April day!
+ And they looked for April showers in vain,
+ But all through May it did nothing but rain!
+
+
+
+
+ An Alice Alphabet
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ A is for Alice a-dressing the Queen.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ B is for Borogoves, mimsy and lean.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ C is the Cheshire Cat, wearing a grin.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ D is the Duchess who had a sharp chin.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ E is the Eaglet who barred out long words.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ F, the Flamingo, the queerest of birds.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ G is the Gryphon, loquacious and gay.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ H, Humpty Dumpty in gorgeous array.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ I is for Insects with curious names.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ J is the Jabberwock burbling with flames.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ K is the King who was whizzed through the air.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ L is the Lobster who sugared his hair.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ M, the Mock Turtle, whose tears freely flowed.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ N is for Nobody seen on the road.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ O is for Oysters who trotted so quick.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ P is the Puppy who played with a stick.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Q is the Queen who ran very fast.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ R is the Rabbit who blew a great blast.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ S is the Sheep, on her knitting intent.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ T, Tweedledum, with his noisy lament.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ U is the Unicorn, valiant in feud.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ V is the Violet, saucy and rude.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ W, the Walrus, addicted to chat.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ X, Executioner, seeking the cat.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Y is the Youth Father William surveyed.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Z is the Zigzag the mouse's tail made.
+
+
+
+
+ The Funny Kittens
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Once there were some silly kittens,
+ And they knitted woolly mittens
+ To bestow upon the freezing Hottentots.
+ But the Hottentots refused them,
+ Saying that they never used them
+ Unless crocheted of red with yellow spots.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ So the silly little kittens
+ Took their blue and white striped mittens
+ To a Bear who lived within a hollow tree;
+ The Bear responded sadly,
+ "I would wear your mittens gladly,
+ But I fear they are too gay for such as me."
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Then the kittens, almost weeping,
+ Came to where a Cow lay sleeping,
+ And they woke her with this piteous request,
+ "Won't you wear our mittens furry?"
+ Said the Cow, "My dears, don't worry;
+ I will put them on as soon as I am dressed."
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Then the Cow put on her bonnet
+ With a wreath of roses on it,
+ And a beautiful mantilla fringed with white;
+ And she donned the pretty mittens,
+ While the silly little kittens
+ Clapped their paws in admiration at the sight.
+
+
+
+
+ The Strike of the Fireworks
+
+
+ 'Twas the night before the Fourth of July, the people slept serene;
+ The fireworks were stored in the old town hall that stood
+ on the village green.
+ The steeple clock tolled the midnight hour, and at its final stroke,
+ The fire in the queer old-fashioned stove lifted its voice and spoke;
+ "The earth and air have naught to do, the water, too, may play,
+ And only fire is made to work on Independence Day.
+
+ "I won't stand such injustice! It's wrong, beyond a doubt,
+ And I shall take my holiday. Good-by, I'm going out!"
+ Up spoke a Roman candle then, "The principle is right!
+ Suppose we strike, and all agree we will not work to-night!"
+ "My stars!" said a small sky-rocket. "What an awful time there'll be,
+ When the whole town comes together to-night, the great display to see!"
+ "Let them come," said a saucy pinwheel, "yes, let them come if they like,
+ As a delegate I'll announce to them that the fireworks
+ are going to strike!"
+ "My friends," said a small cap-pistol, "this movement is all wrong,--
+ Gunpowder, noise, and fireworks to Fourth of July belong.
+ My great ancestral musket made Independence Day,
+ I frown on your whole conspiracy, and you are wrong, I say!"
+
+ And so they talked and they argued, some for and some against,--
+ And they progressed no further than they were when they commenced.
+ Until in a burst of eloquence a queer little piece of punk
+ Arose in his place and said, "I think we ought to show some spunk.
+ And I for one have decided, although I am no shirk,
+ That to-day is a legal holiday and not even fire should work.
+
+ "And I am of some importance,"--here he gave a pretentious cough,
+ "For without my assistance none of you could very well be put off."
+ "You are right," said the Roman candle, "and I think we are all agreed
+ To strike for our rights and our liberty. Hurrah! we shall succeed!"
+ The dissenters cried with one accord, "Our objections we withdraw.
+ Hurrah, hurrah for the fireworks' strike!" and they cried again, "Hurrah!"
+
+ Then a match piped up with a tiny voice, "Your splendid scheme I like.
+ I agree with all your principles and so I, too, will strike!"
+ Suiting the action to the word, the silly little dunce
+ Clambered down from his matchsafe and excitedly struck at once.
+ He lost his head, and he ran around among the fireworks dry,
+ And he cried, "Hurrah for the fireworks' strike! Hurrah for the
+ Fourth of July!"
+
+ With his waving flame he lit the punk--a firecracker caught a spark,--
+ Then rockets and wheels and bombs went off--no longer the place was dark!
+ The explosions made a fearful noise, the flames leaped high and higher,
+ The village folk awoke and cried, "The town hall is on fire!"
+ So the strike of the fireworks ended in a wonderful display
+ Of pyrotechnic grandeur on Independence Day!
+
+
+
+
+ The Arch Armadillo
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ There once was an arch Armadillo
+ Who built him a hut 'neath a willow;
+ He hadn't a bed
+ So he rested his head
+ On a young Porcupine for a pillow.
+
+
+
+
+ A Dream Lesson
+
+
+ Once there was a little boy who wouldn't go to bed,
+ When they hinted at the subject he would only shake his head,
+ When they asked him his intentions, he informed them pretty straight
+ That he wouldn't go to bed at all, and Nursey needn't wait.
+
+ As their arguments grew stronger, and their attitude more strict,
+ I grieve to say that naughty boy just yelled and screamed and kicked.
+ And he made up awful faces, and he told them up and down
+ That he wouldn't go to bed for all the nurses in the town.
+
+ Then Nursey lost her patience, and although it wasn't right,
+ Retorted that for all she cared he might sit up all night.
+ He approved of this arrangement, and he danced a jig for joy,
+ And turned a somersault with glee; he _was_ a naughty boy.
+
+ And so they all went off to bed and left him sitting there,
+ Right in the corner by the fire in Grandpa's big armchair.
+ He read his books and played his games,--he even sang a song
+ And thought how lovely it would be to sit up all night long.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ But soon his games grew stupid, and his puzzles wouldn't work;
+ He drew himself up stiffly with a sudden little jerk,
+ And he said, "I am not sleepy, and I love to play alone--
+ And--I--think--" the rest was mumbled in a drowsy monotone.
+
+ He leaned back on the cushions like that night he had the croup;
+ His head began to wobble and his eyes began to droop;
+ He closed them for a minute, just to see how it would seem,
+ And straightway he was sound asleep, and dreamed this awful dream!
+
+ He thought he saw a garden filled with flowers and roses gay,
+ A great big gardener with a hoe came walking down his way;
+ "Ah, ha!" exclaimed the gardener, as he clutched him by the head,
+ "Here's a fine specimen I've found; I'll plant him in this bed!"
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ He held the boy in one big hand, unheeding how he cried,
+ And with the other dug a hole enormous, deep, and wide.
+ He jammed the little fellow in, and said in gruffest tone,
+ "This is the bed for naughty boys who won't go to their own."
+
+ And then the dirt was shovelled in,--it covered up his toes,
+ His ankles, knees, and waist and arms, and higher yet it rose.
+ For still the gardener shovelled on, not noticing his cries;
+ It came up to his chin and mouth--it almost reached his eyes;
+
+ Just then he gathered all his strength and gave an awful scream,
+ And woke himself, and put an end to that terrific dream.
+ And he said, as Nursey tucked him up and bade him snugly rest,
+ "When I am planted in a bed, I like my own the best."
+
+
+
+
+ The Rivals
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Two well-built men, neither giant nor dwarf,
+ Were Monsieur Elims and Mynheer Nworf.
+ They lived in a town not far away,
+ And spent their time in work and play.
+ Now Monsieur Elims was loved by all--
+ By rich and poor, by great and small.
+ And Mynheer Nworf remarked one day,
+ "Brother, explain to me, I pray,
+ Why no one likes me as well as you,
+ No matter what I may say or do.
+ I have stores of knowledge packed in my head;
+ I am learned and wise and very well read;
+ I can dance, I can sing, I'm extremely polite;
+ I am worth a large fortune all in my own right.
+ But still,--and this question has caused me much thought,--
+ While I am neglected, you're everywhere sought."
+ Monsieur Elims replied: "My dear sir, that is true,
+ But you see, I am I, and you see, you are you.
+ If I receive praises and you receive blame,
+ 'Tis doubtless because each lives up to his name."
+
+ You'll find his defence rather puzzling, I fear;
+ But read their names backward--the meaning is clear.
+
+
+
+
+ The New Cup
+
+
+ "I've a lovely new cup from Uncle John,"
+ Said Dorothy; "only see--
+ It has beautiful golden letters on,
+ And they spell '_Remember Me_.'"
+
+ "Oho!" laughed Fred. "Why, Dorothy dear,
+ They put that on mugs and plates:
+ _I_'ve studied jography 'most a year,
+ And I know the names of the States.
+
+ And when you see that anywhere,--
+ At least, since this fuss with Spain,--
+ It's the President who puts it there,
+ And it means 'Remember the Maine'!"
+
+
+
+
+ A Photographic Failure
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Mr. Hezekiah Hinkle
+ Saw a patient Periwinkle
+ With a kodak, sitting idly by a rill.
+ Feeling a desire awaken
+ For to have his picture taken,
+ Mr. Hezekiah Hinkle stood stock-still.
+
+ Mr. Hezekiah Hinkle
+ Felt his brow begin to wrinkle,
+ And his pose assume a sad and solemn style;
+ But the Periwinkle trusted,
+ As the focus he adjusted,
+ That his customer would kindly try to smile.
+
+ Mr. Hezekiah Hinkle
+ Felt his eyes begin to twinkle,
+ And his mouth took on a broad and open grin;
+ Said the Periwinkle, sadly,
+ "If you stretch your jaw so madly,
+ I fear perhaps that I shall tumble in."
+
+ Mr. Hezekiah Hinkle
+ Felt his hair begin to crinkle,
+ As it rose up on his forehead in affright;
+ Though his comrade spoke so mildly,
+ Mr. Hinkle wondered wildly,
+ How he could escape this dire and awful plight.
+
+ Mr. Hezekiah Hinkle
+ Said, "I fear it's going to sprinkle,
+ And really for a storm I'm not prepared."
+ Then without a further warning
+ He politely said, "Good morning,"
+ And the patient Periwinkle stood and stared.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ Christmas Gifts
+
+
+ Ten Christmas presents standing in a line;
+ Robert took the bicycle, then there were nine.
+ Nine Christmas presents ranged in order straight;
+ Bob took the steam engine, then there were eight.
+ Eight Christmas presents--and one came from Devon;
+ Robbie took the jackknife, then there were seven.
+ Seven Christmas presents direct from St. Nick's;
+ Bobby took the candy box, then there were six.
+ Six Christmas presents, one of them alive;
+ Rob took the puppy dog, then there were five.
+ Five Christmas presents yet on the floor;
+ Bobbin took the soldier cap, then there were four.
+ Four Christmas presents underneath the tree;
+ Bobbet took the writing desk, then there were three.
+ Three Christmas presents still in full view;
+ Robin took the checker board, then there were two.
+ Two Christmas presents, promising fun,
+ Bobbles took the picture book, then there was one.
+ One Christmas present--and now the list is done;
+ Bobbinet took the sled, and then there were none.
+ And the same happy child received every toy,
+ So many nicknames had one little boy.
+
+
+
+
+ Young America
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Wee Willie sat a-thinking,
+ And he shook his curly head.
+ Around him on the nursery floor
+ His treasures lay outspread.
+
+ Firecrackers and torpedoes,
+ Trumpet and flag and drum,
+ Rockets and pinwheels and paper caps,
+ For Fourth of July had come.
+
+ "But it makes me sort o' sorry,"
+ Wee Willie said with a sigh,
+ "To think of those poor little English boys
+ Without any Fourth of July."
+
+
+
+
+ A Bicycle built for Two
+
+
+ There was an ambitious young eel
+ Who determined to ride on a wheel;
+ But try as he might,
+ He couldn't ride right,
+ In spite of his ardor and zeal.
+
+ If he sat on the saddle to ride
+ His tail only pedalled one side;
+ And I'm sure you'll admit
+ That an eel _couldn't_ sit
+ On a bicycle saddle astride.
+
+ Or if he hung over the top,
+ He could go, but he never could stop;
+ For of course it is clear
+ He had no way to steer,
+ And under the wheel he would flop.
+
+ His neighbor, observing the fun,
+ Said, "I think that the thing can be done,
+ If you'll listen to me,
+ You'll quickly agree
+ That two heads are better than one.
+
+ "And this is my project, old chap,
+ Around our two waists I will wrap
+ This beautiful belt
+ Of bottle-green felt
+ And fasten it firm with a strap."
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ This done, with a dignified mien
+ The two squirmed up on the machine,
+ And rode gayly away,
+ Or at least, so they say,
+ Who witnessed the wonderful scene.
+
+
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Dorothy's Opinion
+
+
+ Mamma has bought a calendar,
+ And every single page
+ Has pictures on of little girls
+ 'Most just about my age.
+
+ And when she bought it yesterday,
+ Down at the big bazaar,
+ She said, "What lovely little girls,
+ How true to life they are."
+
+ But I don't think they're true to life,
+ And I'll just tell you why;
+ They never have a rumpled frock
+ Or ribbon bow awry.
+
+ And though they play with cats and dogs,
+ And rabbits and white mice,
+ And sail their boats and fly their kites,
+ They always look so nice.
+
+ And I am sure no little girl
+ That ever _I_ have seen,
+ Could play with dogs or sail a boat
+ And keep her frock so clean.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ The Roll of Roly Poly Roy
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Once on a time a lad I knew--
+ His sister called him Bubby;
+ His cheeks were red, his eyes were blue,
+ And he was plump and chubby.
+ Indeed, he was so stout a boy,
+ Some called him Roly Poly Roy;
+ They called him that
+ For he was fat
+ And very plump and chubby.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ He caused his father grief profound,
+ And made his mother worry,
+ Because he'd roll along the ground
+ When he was in a hurry.
+ For as he couldn't see his toes,
+ He often tumbled on his nose;
+ So, on the whole,
+ 'Twas best to roll
+ When he was in a hurry.
+
+ "Get up!" the people urged, but he
+ Replied, "There's no use talking;
+ I roll around because, you see,
+ It's easier than walking."
+ And though it looked extremely droll
+ To see the lad lie down and roll,
+ It was, forsooth,
+ For that fat youth
+ Far easier than walking.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ One day he thought he'd try to ride;
+ Alas, he was so bulky,
+ He tumbled off the other side,
+ Which made him rather sulky.
+ He heard his comrades jeer and scoff,
+ Again he tried and tumbled off,
+ And when he fell
+ They'd shout and yell--
+ Of course it made him sulky.
+
+ Just out of town there was a place
+ With rolling ground and hilly,
+ And here Roy started for a race
+ With Dick and Tom and Willy.
+ You'll know of course before you're told
+ That Roy just laid him down and rolled;
+ And so, you see,
+ He easily
+ Beat Dick and Tom and Willy.
+
+ That day two giants came along
+ From Huncamunca Valley,
+ Seeking some tenpins good and strong
+ For their new bowling alley.
+ They reached the hilly sort of place
+ Just as our hero won the race;
+ "Look at him roll!"
+ They said. "He'll bowl
+ On our new bowling alley.
+
+ "The other boys are squarely built;
+ For tenpins they'll do finely!
+ No matter if a few get kilt,"
+ And then they smiled benignly.
+ Quickly they kidnapped ten small boys,
+ All howling with a fearful noise;
+ They took them all,
+ And Roy for ball,
+ And then they smiled benignly.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ They hurried to their home and then
+ Began their barbarous bowling.
+ They set in rows the children ten
+ And then set Roy a-rolling.
+ But as the giants were strong and great,
+ They shot poor Roy at such a rate,
+ And with such might,
+ That out of sight
+ Poor Roy was set a-rolling.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ He rolled and rolled and rolled and rolled,
+ But soon, his fears dispelling,
+ With happiness he did behold
+ He'd safely reached his dwelling.
+ Secure and safe from further harms,
+ His mother caught him in her arms,
+ And said with joy,
+ "My darling boy,
+ You've safely reached your dwelling."
+
+ Now rolling seems to him to be
+ More dangerous than walking.
+ And Roly Poly Roy you'll see
+ Along the sidewalks stalking.
+ He'll always have a certain fear
+ That giants may be lurking near,
+ And so he'll go
+ With motion slow
+ Along the sidewalk stalking.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ My Barometer
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ My little maid with golden hair
+ Comes each morning for a kiss;
+ And I know the day will be fine and fair
+ When Polly looks like this.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Or I know the clouds will frown and lower,
+ The skies will be dull and gray,
+ And perhaps there'll be a passing shower,
+ When Polly looks this way.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ But a violent storm of rain or snow
+ I can prognosticate,
+ For the sign will never fail, I know,
+ When this is Polly's pate.
+
+
+
+
+ The Butter Betty Bought
+
+
+ Betty Botta bought some butter;
+ "But," said she, "this butter's bitter!
+ If I put it in my batter
+ It will make my batter bitter.
+ But a bit o' better butter
+ Will but make my batter better."
+ Then she bought a bit o' butter
+ Better than the bitter butter,
+ Made her bitter batter better.
+ So 'twas better Betty Botta
+ Bought a bit o' better butter.
+
+
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ A Marvel
+
+
+ An old astronomer there was
+ Who lived up in a tower,
+ Named Ptolemy Copernicus
+ Flammarion McGower.
+ He said: "I can prognosticate
+ With estimates correct;
+ And when the skies I contemplate,
+ I know what to expect.
+ When dark'ning clouds obscure my sight,
+ I think perhaps 'twill rain;
+ And when the stars are shining bright,
+ I know 'tis clear again."
+ And then abstractedly he scanned
+ The heavens, hour by hour,
+ Old Ptolemy Copernicus
+ Flammarion McGower.
+
+
+
+
+ An Alphabet Zoo
+
+
+ A was an apt Alligator,
+ Who wanted to be a head-waiter;
+ He said, "I opine
+ In that field I could shine,
+ Because I am such a good skater."
+
+ B was a beggarly Bear,
+ Who carefully curled his front hair;
+ He said, "I would buy
+ A red-spotted tie,--
+ But I haven't a penny to spare."
+
+ C was a cool Chimpanzee,
+ Who went to an afternoon tea.
+ When they said, "Will you take
+ A caraway cake?"
+ He greedily took twenty-three!
+
+ D was a diligent Doe,
+ In summer she shovelled the snow;
+ In the spring and the fall
+ She did nothing at all,
+ And in winter the grass she would mow.
+
+ E was an erudite Ermine,
+ Who tried very hard to determine
+ If he _should_ earn a cent,
+ How it ought to be spent,
+ And decided to purchase a sermon.
+
+ F was a fussy Flamingo,
+ Who remarked to his family, "By jingo!
+ I think I would go
+ To that animal show,
+ But they all talk such barbarous lingo."
+
+ G was a giddy Gazelle,
+ Who never could learn how to spell;
+ But she managed to pass
+ To the head of her class,
+ Because she did fractions so well.
+
+ H was a haughty young Hawk,
+ Who affected society talk;
+ But when introduced
+ At a large chicken roost
+ He excitedly screamed out, "Oh, Lawk!"
+
+ I was an idle Iguana,
+ Who lived upon curried banana;
+ With tears he'd protest
+ That he never could rest
+ Till he learned to sing "Eileen Alanna."
+
+ J was a jimp Jaguar,
+ Who purchased a Spanish guitar;
+ He played popular airs
+ At _fetes_ and at fairs,
+ And down at the Fancy Bazaar.
+
+ K was a kind Kangaroo,
+ Whose bonnet was always askew;
+ So they asked her to wait
+ While they put it on straight
+ And fastened it firmly with glue.
+
+ L was a lachrymose Leopard,
+ Who ate up twelve sheep and a shepherd,
+ But the real reason why
+ He continued to cry
+ Was his food was so lavishly peppered.
+
+ M was a mischievous Marten,
+ Who went to the Free Kindergarten;
+ When they asked him to plat
+ A gay-colored mat,
+ He tackled the job like a Spartan.
+
+ N was a naughty Nylghau,
+ Who wandered too near a buzz saw.
+ It cut off his toes,
+ And the shrieks that arose
+ Filled all of the neighbors with awe.
+
+ O was an ossified Oyster,
+ Who decided to enter a cloister.
+ He could not return,
+ So continued to yearn
+ For his home in the sea, which was moister.
+
+ P was a poor old Poll Parrot,
+ Who had nothing to eat but a carrot,
+ And nothing to wear
+ But a wig of red hair,
+ And nowhere to live but a garret.
+
+ Q was a querulous Quab
+ Who at every trifle would sob;
+ He said, "I detest
+ To wear a plaid vest,
+ And I hate to eat corn from the cob!"
+
+ R was a rollicking Ram,
+ Attired in an old pillow sham.
+ When asked if he'd call
+ At the masquerade ball,
+ He said, "I'll go just as I am."
+
+ S was a shy Salamander,
+ Who slept on a sunny veranda.
+ She calmly reposed,
+ But, alas! while she dozed
+ They caught her and killed her and canned her.
+
+ T was a tidy young Tapir,
+ Who went out to bring in the paper;
+ And when he came back
+ He made no muddy track,
+ For he wiped his feet clean on the scraper.
+
+ U was a young Unicorn,
+ The bravest that ever was born.
+ They bought him a boat
+ And they set him afloat,
+ And straightway he sailed for Cape Horn.
+
+ V was a vigorous Vulture,
+ Who taught animals physical culture;
+ When a pupil dropped dead,
+ The kind teacher said,
+ "You needn't consider sepulture."
+
+ W was a wild Worm,
+ All day he did nothing but squirm.
+ They sent him to school,
+ But he broke every rule,
+ And left at the end of the term.
+
+ X was a Xiphias brave,
+ Who lived on the crest of the wave.
+ To each fish he would say,
+ "Good day, sir, good day!"
+ And then a polite bow he gave.
+
+ Y was a young Yellowhammer,
+ Who raised a ridiculous clamor;
+ And he chattered until
+ An owl said, "Keep still!
+ I'm trying to study my grammar."
+
+ Z was a zealous old Zibet,
+ Toboggans he tried to prohibit.
+ If any one tried
+ To take a sly slide,
+ He ordered him hanged on a gibbet.
+
+
+
+
+ Found Wanting
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ There lived a wondrous sculptor once, a genius in his way,
+ Named Phidias Praxiteles Canova Merryday.
+ He sat within his studio and said, "I really must
+ Begin a Rhodian anaglyptic ceroplastic bust.
+
+ "My customers demand them, their fame rings near and far,
+ But then, alas, the trouble is, I don't know what they are.
+ Though I could carve a Venus or a Belvedere with ease,
+ My wondrous skill is lacking when it comes to carving these.
+
+ "I cast and cut and chisel, I model and I mould,
+ I copy poses picturesque from studies new and old;
+ In marble, bronze, and potter's clay, in wax and wood and stone
+ I carve the old-time statues with improvements of my own.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ "I have Apollo on a horse, Minerva on a wheel,
+ Hercules going fishing with his basket and his creel.
+ A Mercury on roller-skates, Diana with a hat,
+ And Venus playing tennis with Achilles at the bat.
+
+ "Yet these my customers pass by, and ask with interest keen,
+ For things with long and tiresome names,--I don't know what they mean.
+ And so I let my hammers hang, and let my chisels rust,
+ For I cannot do an anaglyptic ceroplastic bust."
+
+
+
+
+ A Tragic Tale of Tea
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ The Beetle was blind, and the Bat was blinder,
+ And they went to take tea with the Scissors-grinder.
+ The Scissors-grinder had gone away
+ Across the ocean to spend the day;
+ But he'd tied his bell to the grapevine swing.
+ The Bat and the Beetle heard it ring,
+ And neither the Beetle nor Bat could see
+ Why no one offered them any tea.
+ So, polite and patient, they're waiting yet
+ For the cup of tea they expect to get.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ The Erratic Rat
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ There was a ridiculous Rat
+ Who was awfully puffy and fat.
+ "I'll carry," he said,
+ "This plate on my head,
+ 'Twill answer in place of a hat."
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ And then he remarked with a frown,
+ "I suppose that I must have a gown;
+ I'll make me a kilt
+ Of this old crazy-quilt,
+ To wear when I'm going to town.
+
+ "And of course, though the weather is warm,
+ It may be there'll come up a storm;
+ An umbrella I'll make
+ Of a caraway cake,
+ It'll match with my whole uniform.
+
+ And I'll carry a bottle of ink
+ In case I should wish for a drink;
+ And this flat-iron so sweet
+ I'll take with me to eat,
+ And now I am ready, I think."
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ The Two Friends
+
+
+ A Spider and a Centipede went out to take a walk;
+ The Centipede said frankly, "I will listen while you talk,
+ But I may appear distracted, or assume a vacant stare,
+ Because to keep my feet in step requires my constant care."
+
+ Said the Spider: "I appreciate your most peculiar case,
+ And your feet must be quite handy when you want to run a race;
+ But though you gain in some ways, in some other ways you lose;
+ And, of course, my friend, you must be quite extravagant in shoes."
+
+ "Ah! yes. Ah! yes," a heavy sigh escaped the Centipede;
+ "And I have other trials, too;--my life is hard indeed!
+ Why, sometimes when I'm very tired, a long, long time it takes
+ To ascertain with certainty which foot it is that aches.
+
+ "And when I go to dancing-class on Saturdays at three,
+ I find the First Position very difficult for me.
+ Though I put my best foot foremost, and good time I try to keep,
+ To my chagrin, I often find a foot or two asleep.
+
+ Athletics I attempted, but, alas! I must admit
+ That every exercise I tried I put my foot in it.
+ I think I'll join a foot-ball team,--as many friends suggest,--
+ Before I've one foot in the grave and gout in all the rest.
+
+ But now I'll say good-morning; for, my friend, I have to stop
+ To get my boots blacked neatly at this little boot-black's shop;
+ And, as you may imagine, it will keep me here some time,
+ But, what is worse, I'll have to pay him many a hard-earned dime."
+
+ The Spider said good-morning, and pursued his way alone,
+ And as he went he murmured, in a thoughtful undertone:
+ "I'm a happy little Spider, and I'm very glad indeed,
+ That I was born an octoped and not a centipede!"
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ The Smiling Shark
+
+
+ There was an old Shark with a smile
+ So broad you could see it a mile.
+ He said to his friends,
+ As he sewed up the ends,
+ "It was really too wide for the style."
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ The Mercury's Plaint
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ I don't know why I'm slandered so,
+ If I go high,--if I go low,--
+ There's always some one who will say,
+ "Just see that mercury to-day!"
+ And whether toward the top I crawl
+ Or down toward zero I may fall,
+ They always fret, and say that I
+ Am far too low or far too high.
+ Although I try with all my might,
+ I never seem to strike it right.
+ Now I admit it seems to me
+ They show great inconsistency.
+ But _they_ imply _I_ am to blame;
+ Of course that makes my anger flame,
+ And in a fiery fit of pique
+ I stay at ninety for a week.
+ Or sometimes in a dull despair,
+ I give them just a frigid stare;
+ And as upon their taunts I think
+ My spirits down to zero sink.
+ Mine is indeed a hopeless case;
+ To strive to please the human race!
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+ The Pirate Poodle
+
+
+ Once there was a Pirate Poodle,
+ And he sailed the briny seas
+ From the land of Yankee Doodle
+ Southward to the Caribbees.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ He would boast with tales outlandish,
+ Of his valor and renown;
+ And his cutlass he would brandish
+ With a fearful pirate frown.
+
+ So ferocious was his manner
+ All his crew looked on, aghast;
+ And his fearful pirate banner
+ Floated from his pirate mast.
+
+ He reiterated proudly
+ Naught had power to make him quail;
+ Yet when thunder roared _too_ loudly
+ He would turn a trifle pale.
+
+ And he turned a little paler
+ When there came a sudden squall;
+ For this funny little sailor
+ Was ridiculously small.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ And whene'er a storm portended
+ He'd betake himself below.
+ So much fear and courage blended
+ Did a pirate ever show?
+
+
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ An Old Love
+
+
+ Priscilla, Auntie's promised me
+ A brand-new Paris doll;
+ And though I love you, yet you see
+ I cannot keep you all.
+
+ Nursey declares I really must
+ Throw one of you away;
+ And you're the oldest, so I trust
+ You will not care to stay.
+
+ You've lost an arm, your dress is torn,
+ Your wig is all awry;
+ Priscilla, you are so forlorn,
+ We'll have to say good-by.
+
+ And yet--oh, don't! my dolly dear,
+ _Don't_ look so sad, I pray!
+ You precious dolly, come right here,
+ You _shan't_ be thrown away!
+
+ You're ragged, yes, and lame and blind,
+ You're really but a wreck;
+ But, dear Priscilla, never mind,
+ _I_ do not care a speck.
+
+ Your eyes do nicely when they're shut,
+ And I can mend the rest;
+ Well--p'raps I'll love the new one--but
+ I'll always love _you_ best.
+
+
+
+
+ Bobby's Pocket
+
+
+ Our Bobby is a little boy, of six years old, or so;
+ And every kind of rubbish in his pocket he will stow.
+
+ One day he thought he'd empty it (so he again could stock it);
+ And here's an alphabet of what was found in Bobby's pocket.
+
+ A was a rosy Apple, with some bites out, here and there;
+ B was a bouncing rubber Ball that bounded in the air.
+
+ C was a crispy crusty Cake with citron on the top;
+ D was a dancing Donkey that could jump around and hop.
+
+ E was a little robin's Egg, all speckled blue and brown;
+ F was a fluffy Feather that was white and soft as down.
+
+ G was a lively Grasshopper, whose legs and wings were green;
+ H was a grimy Handkerchief that once perhaps was clean.
+
+ I was a plaster Image that had lost its plaster head;
+ J was a jolly Jumping-Jack all painted blue and red.
+
+ K was a keen and shining Knife, 'twould cut the toughest bark;
+ L was a little wooden Lion, strayed out of Noah's Ark.
+
+ M was a Marble, large and round, with colors bright and clear;
+ N was a bent and rusty Nail, of little use, I fear.
+
+ O was a tiny Oil-can, which was always upside down;
+ P was a Penny Bob had saved to spend some day in town.
+
+ Q was a Quilted ear-tab, which had lost its velvet mate;
+ R was a Ring with a glassy gem of wondrous size and weight.
+
+ S was a String, a piece of Soap, a Stone, a Sponge, a Stick;
+ T was a lump of Taffy, exceeding soft and thick.
+
+ U, an Umbrella-handle, of silver-mounted horn;
+ V was a comic Valentine, a little creased and worn.
+
+ W was some sticky Wax, lovely to pinch and mould;
+ X was an old Xpress receipt, worn out in every fold.
+
+ Y was a lot of Yellow Yarn, all bunched up like a mop;
+ Z was a jagged piece of Zinc, found in a plumber's shop.
+
+ All these are Bob's possessions; he loves every single thing;
+ And owning all these treasures he's as happy as a King!
+
+
+
+
+ The Instructiphone
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ There was a youthful genius once, a boy of thirteen years,
+ Named Cyrus Franklin Edison Lavoisier De Squeers.
+ To study he was not inclined, for fun he had a bent;
+ But there was just one article he wanted to invent.
+
+ "It's a sort of a contraption which will work itself," he said,
+ "And, without studying, will put my lessons in my head."
+ He thought and puzzled o'er his plan, he worked with might and main
+ To utilize the wondrous schemes within his fertile brain:
+
+ Until at last the thing was done, and to his friends said he:
+ "It is the wonder of the age! Success I can foresee!
+ My great invention is complete, and--'tis no idle vaunt--
+ I'm sure that my Instructiphone will fill a long-felt want.
+
+ "The action is quite simple--I will try to make it clear:
+ This funnel-shaped receiver I apply to my left ear;
+ Then in this hopper I will put whate'er I wish to learn--
+ A page of history or of Greek,--and then this crank I'll turn.
+
+ "The topic goes into this tube, a sort of phonograph
+ Which acts directly on my mind,--it _does_, you needn't laugh!
+ I do not have to think at all, for, as I pull this chain,
+ My wonderful machine transmits the knowledge to my brain."
+
+ The plan was good, the works were fine, and yet there was a flaw;
+ When Cyrus turned the crank around, the neighbors watched with awe.
+ He confidently pulled the chain with motion quick and deft;
+ The knowledge entered his right ear--and came out at his left.
+
+ He tried again,--a page of Greek; he tried a theme occult,--
+ A message and an errand,--every time the same result!
+ Then Cyrus knew that somehow his machine had missed its aim;
+ For though the works ran smoothly it was always just the same.
+
+ No matter what the book might be, or what it was about,
+ It would go in at one ear,--at the other 'twould come out!
+ So in his laboratory, baffled Cyrus sitting lone,
+ Strives to correct the sad defect in his Instructiphone.
+
+ But it is my opinion, there's no fault in the machine:
+ The trouble is that Cyrus is like other boys I've seen.
+
+
+
+
+ The Lay of the Lady Lorraine
+
+
+ The Lady Lorraine was sweet and fair;
+ The Lady Lorraine was young;
+ She had wonderful eyes and glorious hair,
+ And a voice of a cadence rich and rare;
+ Oh, she was a lady beyond compare--
+ By all were her praises sung,
+ Till valley and plain
+ Took up the refrain,
+ And rang with the praise of the Lady Lorraine.
+
+ And besides all charms of form and face,
+ There were other attractions about Her Grace;
+ Besides her delicate, lily-white hands,
+ She had rolling acres and broad, rich lands;
+ Besides her patrician coat of arms,
+ She had far-reaching forests and fertile farms;
+ And of many an ancient and wide domain
+ The beautiful lady was chatelaine.
+ So of course at her door
+ There were suitors galore;
+ They came by the dozen, and came by the score.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ They came in droves, and they came in hordes,
+ Titled nobility,--princes, lords,
+ Dukes and marquises, viscounts and peers,
+ Ambassadors, marshals, grandees, grenadiers,
+ Barons and baronets, earls, and esquires,
+ Illustrious sons of illustrious sires:
+ But 'twas ever in vain
+ They sought to attain
+ The heart and the hand of the Lady Lorraine.
+ And day after day
+ They turned sadly away;
+ For the Lady Lorraine continued to say,
+ Decidedly, certainly, stubbornly, "Nay!"
+ She cared not for wreaths of laurel or bay,
+ Their titles or rent rolls or uniforms gay,
+ Their medals or ribbons or gaudy display,
+ Their splendid equipment, demeanor, or bearing;
+ She observed not their manners, nor what they were wearing;
+ Their marvellous exploits for her had no charms:
+ Their prowess in tourney, their valor at arms;
+ Their wondrous achievements of brawn or of brain,--
+ All, all were as naught to the Lady Lorraine.
+ To each suitor she'd say, with her hand on her heart,
+ "Sir, I ask of you only that you will depart."
+
+ In vain they entreated, they begged and they plead,
+ They coaxed and besought, and they sullenly said
+ That she was hard-hearted, unfeeling, and cruel.
+ They challenged each other to many a duel;
+ They scowled and they scolded, they sulked and they sighed,
+ But they could not win Lady Lorraine for a bride.
+
+ Now the reason for this, as you may have divined,
+ Was because in her maidenly heart was enshrined
+ The image of one who was just to her mind:
+ Who was loving and kind,
+ To whose faults she was blind,--
+ The lord of her heart, and the love of her life,
+ To whom she had promised to be a fond wife.
+ Her Highness was happy, for even now he
+ Was hastening to her across the blue sea.
+ He had written to say he was then on the way,
+ And would greet his fair lady on Christmas day.
+
+ * * *
+
+ 'Twas Christmas eve. In the old oak hall
+ Preparations were made for the Christmas ball.
+ Gay garlands were hung from ceiling and wall;
+ The Yule log was laid, the tables arrayed,
+ And the Lady Lorraine and her whole cavalcade,
+ From the pompous old steward to the scullery-maid,
+ Were all in a fluster,
+ Excitement and bluster,
+ And everything shone with a marvellous lustre.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Such savory viands the larders presented;
+ Such wondrous confections the bakers invented:
+ Such pasties and cates of eccentric design;
+ Such sparkling decanters of rarest old wine;
+ And ready at hand was the great wassail-bowl,
+ And the jolly old boar's head, with lemon, so droll.
+ The nook for musicians was carefully planned,
+ And carols and glees would be played by the band.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ At last all was ready. The workmen were done;
+ And awaiting the jollity, mirth, and frivolity,
+ The games and the dancing, the feasting and fun,
+ The old hall was empty,--save only for one,--
+ The Lady Lorraine, who surveyed it with pride,
+ And said, "It is worthy of Lord Cecil's bride!"
+ Then a bright smile illumined her happy young face,
+ Her roguish eyes twinkled, and gayly Her Grace
+ Crossed the old polished floor with a step light and quick,
+ And her high slipper heels went clickety-click.
+ She looked cautiously round,--she was all by herself;
+ Like a mischievous elf,
+ She took from a shelf
+ A mistletoe spray with its berries like pearls;
+ Then tossing her head and shaking her curls,
+ In a manner half daring and yet half afraid,
+ The madcap maid, with a smile that betrayed
+ Expectant thoughts of her lover dear,
+ Fastened the spray to the chandelier.
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ Then in a merry, fanciful mood,
+ Inspired by the time and the solitude,
+ The Lady Lorraine,
+ In whimsical vein,
+ Said, "On Christmas eve, 'neath this mistletoe bough,
+ I'll solemnly make an immutable vow."
+ With a glance at the portraits that hung on the wall,
+ She said, "I adjure ye to witness, all:
+ I vow by the names that I've long revered,--
+ By my great-great-grandfather's great gray beard,
+ By my father's sword, by my uncle's hat,
+ By my spinster aunt's Angora cat,
+ By my ancient grandame's buckled shoes,
+ By my uncle Gregory's marvellous brews,
+ By Sir Sydney's wig,
+ And his ruff so big,--
+ Indeed, by his whole preposterous rig,--
+ By the scutcheon and crest, and all the rest
+ Of the signs of my house, I vow this vow:
+ That whoever beneath this mistletoe bough
+ Shall first kiss me, he--none but he--
+ My partner for life shall henceforth be."
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ She had scarcely ceased when she heard a sound.
+ She looked around,
+ And, startled, found
+ From the old oak chimney place it came.
+ For there, as if in an old oak frame,
+ A figure quaint, yet familiar too,
+ Met her astonished, bewildered view.
+ Of aspect merry, yet something weird,
+ With kind blue eyes and a long white beard,
+ Fur-trimmed cloak, and a peaked cap,
+ Rosy cheeks,--a jolly old chap;
+ And, though surprised, she recognized
+ St. Nicholas, dear to her childhood days,
+ And she met his smile with a welcome gaze.
+
+ The jolly old man beheld Her Grace,
+ With her laughing eyes and her winsome face;
+ He couldn't resist her,--
+ Indeed, who could?--
+ And he heartily kissed her
+ Where she stood!
+ And exultingly cried, "I heard your vow;
+ And Lady Lorraine shall be _my_ bride now!"
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ The lady trembled, as in a daze;
+ With a startled gaze of blank amaze,
+ She looked at the figure who stood by her side
+ And audaciously claimed her for his bride.
+
+ Then she bowed her head
+ And the color fled
+ From the cheeks that his kiss had flushed rosy red.
+ Her heart was filled with a sad despair
+ As she thought of her lover, Lord Cecil Clare,
+ And his dire dismay
+ When on Christmas day
+ He should ride up gayly in brave array,
+ And find his sweetheart stolen away.
+
+ But the honor and pride of her race were at stake;
+ And for conscience' sake
+ She dared not break
+ Her solemn vow, though her heart might ache.
+ To be true to her word, her sire had taught her,
+ And she was a loyal, obedient daughter.
+ She appealed to the portraits of squires and dames,
+ Who looked sternly down from their gilded frames;
+ But they seemed to say, "There must ne'er be broken
+ A promise or vow a Lorraine has spoken."
+
+ With stifled sighs, and with tears in her eyes,
+ Though she tried to assume a cheerful guise,
+ She turned to the suitor who stood apart,
+ Awaiting the gift of her hand and heart;
+ And she said with a gentle, dignified air:
+ "My heart belongs to Lord Cecil Clare;
+ But my fatal vow,
+ Though I rue it now,
+ I dare not break. So, at your command,
+ I fulfil it! On you I bestow my hand."
+
+ "O noble lady!" her suitor cried,
+ "'Twas only a merry test I tried.
+ Full well I knew
+ That your heart was true.
+ Behold your lover, my bonny bride!
+ I assumed this guise for a Christmas joke."
+ And as he spoke,
+ He threw off his cloak,
+ He flung to the floor his peaked hood,
+ And a gallant knight before her stood!
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ He doffed his wig and his long white beard;
+ All signs of St. Nicholas disappeared;
+ And smiling there, in the firelight's glare,
+ Was the gay and noble Lord Cecil Clare!
+
+ The lady marvelled--a glad surprise
+ Betokened itself in her lovely eyes;
+ And with her merriment quite restored,
+ She said, "You are welcome home, my lord;
+ And I'm thankful, now,
+ That I kept my vow."
+
+ Lord Cecil raised her hand to his lips,
+ And gallantly kissed her finger tips;
+ While the squires and dames
+ Looked down from their frames,
+ And "Bless you, my children!" they seemed to say.
+ Then the band appeared, and began to play;
+ The guests arrived, and without delay
+ The fun commenced, and the old oak hall
+ Never had known such a Christmas ball!
+ The feast was spread,
+ And the dance was led
+ By the knight and the lady, and every one said,
+ With a shout that rent the midnight air,
+ "Long live Lord Cecil and Lady Clare!"
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Jingle Book, by Carolyn Wells
+
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+
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