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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/24171-h.zip b/24171-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..32768f6 --- /dev/null +++ b/24171-h.zip diff --git a/24171-h/24171-h.htm b/24171-h/24171-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..8c3c754 --- /dev/null +++ b/24171-h/24171-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1720 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"> +<head> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=ISO-8859-1" /> +<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Wedding Day, by John Fletcher Hurst</title> + <style type="text/css"> +/*<![CDATA[ XML blockout */ +<!-- + p { margin-top: .75em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: 1.0em; + line-height: 1.2; + } + p.note {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: 1em; + margin: 1em 5%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 90%; + } + + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 { + text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ + clear: both; + } + + body{margin-left: 15%; + margin-right: 15%; + } + + + table {margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 1em; + margin-bottom: 1em;} + + td {vertical-align: top; text-align: left; padding: 0em;} + + td.number {text-align: right; padding-left: 2em;} + + table p {margin-top: 0em; margin-left: 2em; text-indent: -2em; + line-height: normal;} + + + + .pagenum { /* uncomment the next line for invisible page numbers */ + /* visibility: hidden; */ + position: absolute; + left: 92%; + font-size: small; + text-align: right; + } /* page numbers */ + + + p.illustration {text-align: center; margin-top: 1em; + margin-bottom: 4em; + } + span.illustration {float: right; clear: right; + margin: 1em 0 .5em 1em; + } + + .firstletter {float: left; clear: left; padding: 0em; margin-top: .33em; + margin-right: .4em; margin-bottom: .1em; margin-left: 0em; + } + + .center {text-align: center;} + .stagedir {text-indent: -1em; margin-left: 2em; margin-right: 1em} + .smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} + .gesperrt {letter-spacing: 0.2em; font-style: normal} + .abstand {margin-top: 4em} + .lastpara {margin-bottom: 4em} + + .poem {margin-left:10%; margin-right:10%; text-align: left;} + .poem br {display: none;} + .poem .stanza {margin: 1em 0em 1em 0em;} + .poem span.i0 {display: block; margin-left: 0em; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;} + .poem span.i2 {display: block; margin-left: 2em; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;} + + hr.full { width: 100%; + margin-top: 3em; + margin-bottom: 0em; + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; + height: 4px; + border-width: 4px 0 0 0; /* remove all borders except the top one */ + border-style: solid; + border-color: #000000; + clear: both; } + pre {font-size: 85%;} + // --> + /* XML end ]]>*/ + </style> +</head> +<body> +<h1>The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Wedding Day, Edited by John Fletcher Hurst</h1> +<pre> +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at <a href = "http://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a></pre> +<p>Title: The Wedding Day</p> +<p> The Service--The Marriage Certificate--Words of Counsel</p> +<p>Editor: John Fletcher Hurst</p> +<p>Release Date: January 5, 2008 [eBook #24171]</p> +<p>Language: English</p> +<p>Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1</p> +<p>***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE WEDDING DAY***</p> +<p> </p> +<h3>E-text prepared by<br /> + Eileen Gormly, Norbert H. Langkau, Daryl Hrdlicka,<br /> + and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team<br /> + (http://www.pgdp.net)</h3> +<p> </p> +<hr class="full" /> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> + +<h1 class="center">THE WEDDING DAY.</h1> + +<p class="center lastpara"><big>The Service—The Marriage Certificate—Words of Counsel.</big></p> + +<p class="center lastpara"><small>EDITED BY</small><br/><b>JOHN F. HURST, D.D., LL.D.</b></p> + +<p class="center lastpara"><small>BUFFALO:</small><br/><span class='gesperrt'>H. H. OTIS.</span><br/>1889.</p> + +<p class="center lastpara"><small>Copyright, 1888, by</small><br/><span class='gesperrt'>H. H. OTIS</span><br/> +<small><span class="smcap">Buffalo</span>, N. Y.</small> +</p> + +<p class = "illustration"> +<img src = "images/img_bar.png" width = "201" height = "27" +alt = "Contents bar"></img> +</p> + +<p class="center">CONTENTS</p> + +<table summary = "Contents"> +<tr> +<td></td> +<td class = "number smaller"><span class="smcap">Page</span></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p>FORM FOR THE SOLEMNIZATION OF MATRIMONY,</p></td> +<td class = "number"><a href = "#page_5">5</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p>CERTIFICATE,</p></td> +<td class = "number"><a href = "#page_13">13</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p>WITNESSES,</p></td> +<td class = "number"><a href = "#page_14">14</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p>THE NEW HOME,</p></td> +<td class = "number"><a href = "#page_15">15</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p>THE HOME ALTAR,</p></td> +<td class = "number"><a href = "#page_21">21</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p>THE HOME BEAUTIFUL,</p></td> +<td class = "number"><a href = "#page_28">28</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p>GOOD READING AT HOME,</p></td> +<td class = "number"><a href = "#page_32">32</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p>FORBEARANCE,</p></td> +<td class = "number"><a href = "#page_37">37</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p>THE YESTERDAYS OF HOME,</p></td> +<td class = "number"><a href = "#page_44">44</a></td> +</tr> +</table> + +<p class = "illustration"> +<img src = "images/img_bar.png" width = "201" height = "27" +alt = "Contents bar"></img> +</p> +<p class = "abstand"> </p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="page_5" id="page_5">[5]</a></span></p> +<h2>FORM FOR THE<br/> +<span class="smcap"><big>Solemnization of Matrimony.</big></span></h2> + + +<p class="center"><small>[THE PARTS IN BRACKETS THROUGHOUT MAY BE USED OR +NOT, AT DISCRETION.]</small></p> + +<p class="stagedir"><small><i>At the day and time appointed for the Solemnization +of Matrimony, the persons to be married—having +been qualified according to law—standing together, +the Man on the right hand and the Woman on the +left, the Minister shall say:</i></small></p> + +<p><span class = "firstletter"> +<img src = "images/img_letter_d.png" width = "45" height = "45" +alt = "D"></img></span>early beloved: we are gathered +together here in the sight +of God, and in the presence +of these witnesses, to join together this +man and this woman in holy Matrimony; +which is an honorable estate, +instituted of God in the time of man's +innocency, signifying unto us the mystical +union that exists between Christ +and his Church; which holy estate +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[6]</a></span>Christ adorned and beautified with his +presence, and first miracle that he +wrought in Cana of Galilee, and is +commended of Saint Paul to be honorable +among all men; and therefore is +not by any to be entered into unadvisedly, +but reverently, discreetly, and in +the fear of God.</p> + +<p>Into which holy estate these two persons +present come now to be joined. +Therefore, if any can show just cause +why they may not lawfully be joined +together, let him now speak, or else +hereafter forever hold his peace.</p> + +<p class="stagedir">[<small><i>And also, speaking unto the persons who are to be +married, the Minister shall say:</i></small></p> + +<p><span class = "firstletter"> +<img src = "images/img_letter_i.png" width = "45" height = "45" +alt = "I"></img></span> require and charge you +both, that if either of you know +any impediment why you may +not be lawfully joined together in Matrimony, +you do now confess it; for be +ye well assured, that so many as are +coupled together otherwise than God's<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[7]</a></span> +word doth allow are not joined together +by God, neither is their Matrimony lawful.]</p> + +<p class="stagedir"><small><i>If no impediment be alleged, then shall the Minister +say unto the Man:</i></small></p> + +<p><span class = "firstletter"> +<img src = "images/img_letter_m.png" width = "53" height = "45" +alt = "M"></img></span> Wilt thou have this woman +to be thy wedded wife, to live +together after God's ordinance +in the holy estate of Matrimony? +Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honor +and keep her, in sickness and in health: +and, forsaking all other, keep thee only +unto her so long as ye both shall live?</p> + +<p class="stagedir"><small><i>The Man shall answer:</i></small></p> + +<p class="center">I will.</p> + +<p class="stagedir"><small><i>Then shall the Minister say unto the Woman:</i></small></p> + +<p><span class = "firstletter"> +<img src = "images/img_letter_n.png" width = "53" height = "45" +alt = "N"></img></span> Wilt thou have this man +to be thy wedded husband, +to live together after God's +ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? +Wilt thou love, honor, and keep<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[8]</a></span> +him, in sickness and in health: and, forsaking +all other, keep thee only unto +him so long as ye both shall live?</p> + +<p class="stagedir"><small><i>The Woman shall answer:</i></small></p> + +<p class="center">I will.</p> + +<p class="stagedir">[<small><i>Then the Minister shall cause the Man with his +right hand to take the Woman by her right hand, +and to say after him as followeth:</i></small></p> + +<p><span class = "firstletter"> +<img src = "images/img_letter_i.png" width = "45" height = "45" +alt = "I"></img></span> <i>M.</i> take thee <i>N.</i> to be my +wedded wife, to have and to +hold, from this day forward, +for better, for worse, for richer, for +poorer, in sickness and in health, to love +and to cherish, till death us do part, according +to God's holy ordinance: And +thereto I plight thee my faith.</p> + +<p class="stagedir"><small><i>Then shall they loose their hands, and the Woman +with her right hand taking the Man by his right +hand shall likewise say after the Minister:</i></small></p> + +<p><span class = "firstletter"> +<img src = "images/img_letter_i.png" width = "45" height = "45" +alt = "I"></img></span> <i>N.</i> take thee <i>M.</i> to be my +wedded husband, to have and +to hold, from this day forward, +for better, for worse, for richer, for<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[9]</a></span> +poorer, in sickness and in health, to love +and to cherish, till death us do part, according +to God's holy ordinance: and +thereto I plight thee my faith.]</p> + +<p class="stagedir"><small><i>Then shall the Minister Pray thus:</i></small></p> + +<p><span class = "firstletter"> +<img src = "images/img_letter_o.png" width = "45" height = "45" +alt = "O"></img></span> eternal God, Creator and +Preserver of all mankind, Giver +of all spiritual grace, the Author +of everlasting life: send thy blessing +upon these thy servants, this man and +this woman, whom we bless in thy name; +that as Isaac and Rebecca lived faithfully +together, so these persons may +surely perform and keep the vow and +covenant between them made, and may +ever remain in perfect love and peace +together, and live according to thy laws, +through Jesus Christ our Lord. <i>Amen.</i></p> + +<p class="stagedir">[<small><i>If the parties desire it, the Man shall here hand a +Ring to the Minister, who shall return it to him, +and direct him to place it on the third finger of +the Woman's left hand. And the Man shall say +to the Woman, repeating after the Minister:</i></small></p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[10]</a></span></p> +<p><span class = "firstletter"> +<img src = "images/img_letter_w.png" width = "45" height = "45" +alt = "W"></img> +</span>ith this ring I thee wed, and +with my worldly goods I thee +endow, in the name of the +Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy +Ghost. <i>Amen.</i>]</p> + +<p class="stagedir"><small><i>Then shall the Minister join their right hands +together, and say:</i></small></p> + +<p><span class = "firstletter"> +<img src = "images/img_letter_f.png" width = "45" height = "45" +alt = "F"></img></span>orasmuch as <i>M.</i> and <i>N.</i> +have consented together in +holy wedlock, and have witnessed +the same before God and this +company, and thereto have pledged +their faith either to other, and have declared +the same by joining of hands; I +pronounce that they are husband and +wife together, in the name of the Father, +and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. +Those whom God hath joined together, +let no man put asunder. <i>Amen.</i></p> + +<p class="stagedir"><small><i>And the Minister shall add this blessing:</i></small></p> + +<p><span class = "firstletter"> +<img src = "images/img_letter_g.png" width = "45" height = "45" +alt = "G"></img></span>od the Father, the Son, and the +Holy Ghost, bless, preserve, +and keep you; the Lord mercifully<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[11]</a></span> +with his favor look upon you, and +so fill you with all spiritual benediction +and grace, that ye may so live together +in this life, that in the world to come +ye may have life everlasting. <i>Amen.</i></p> + +<p class="stagedir"><small><i>Then shall the Minister offer the following Prayer:</i></small></p> + +<p><span class = "firstletter"> +<img src = "images/img_letter_o.png" width = "45" height = "45" +alt = "O"></img></span> God of Abraham, God of +Isaac, God of Jacob, bless this +man and this woman, and sow +the seed of eternal life in their hearts, +that whatsoever in thy holy word they +shall profitably learn, they may indeed +fulfill the same. Look, O Lord, mercifully +on them from heaven, and bless +them: as thou didst send thy blessings +upon Abraham and Sarah to their great +comfort, so vouchsafe to send thy blessings +upon this man and this woman, that +they, obeying thy will, and always being +in safety under thy protection, may +abide in thy love unto their lives' end, +through Jesus Christ our Lord.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[12]</a></span></p> +<p>Almighty God, who at the beginning +didst create our first parents, Adam +and Eve, and didst sanctify and join +them together in marriage, pour upon +these persons the riches of thy grace, +sanctify and bless them, that they may +please thee both in body and soul, and +live together in holy love unto their +lives' end. <i>Amen.</i></p> + +<p class="stagedir"><small><i>Here the Minister may use extemporary Prayer.</i></small></p> + +<p class="stagedir"><small><i>Then the Minister shall repeat the Lord's Prayer:</i></small></p> + +<p class="lastpara"><span class = "firstletter"> +<img src = "images/img_letter_o.png" width = "45" height = "45" +alt = "O"></img></span>ur Father who art in heaven, +hallowed be thy name. Thy +kingdom come. Thy will be +done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us +this day our daily bread: and forgive us +our trespasses, as we forgive them that +trespass against us: and lead us not +into temptation, but deliver us from +evil: for thine is the kingdom, and the +power, and the glory, forever. <i>Amen.</i></p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="page_13" id="page_13">[13]</a></span></p> +<p class = "illustration"> +<img src = "images/img_certificate.png" width = "450" height = "632" +alt = "Certificate"></img> +</p> + + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="page_14" id="page_14">[14]</a></span></p> +<p class = "illustration"> +<img src = "images/img_witnesses.png" width = "450" height = "651" +alt = "Witnesses"></img> +</p> + + + + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="page_15" id="page_15">[15]</a></span></p> +<h2>THE NEW HOME.</h2> + + +<p><span class = "firstletter"> +<img src = "images/img_letter_t.png" width = "45" height = "45" +alt = "T"></img></span>he founding of a new home +marks an important era in a +human life. Whether you be +poor or wealthy, wise or ignorant, it is +all the same—you begin a new existence. +The associations of childhood and youth +now undergo a total change. The familiar +scenes disappear suddenly. Longfellow, +in his "Hanging of the Crane," +writes the following touching words on +the eventful day:</p> + +<div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"O fortunate, O happy day,<br /></span> + <span class="i0">When a new household finds its place<br /></span> + <span class="i0">Among the myriad homes of earth,<br /></span> + <span class="i0">Like a new star sprung to birth,<br /></span> + <span class="i0">And rolled on its harmonious way<br /></span> + <span class="i0">Into the boundless realms of space!"<br /></span> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0"><b>. . . . .</b><br /></span> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[16]</a></span> + <span class="i0">"For two alone, there in the hall,<br /></span> + <span class="i0">Is spread the table round and small;<br /></span> + <span class="i0">Upon the polished silver shine<br /></span> + <span class="i0">The evening lamps; but, more divine,<br /></span> + <span class="i0">The light of love shines over all;<br /></span> + <span class="i0">Of love that says not mine and thine,<br /></span> + <span class="i0">But ours, for ours is thine and mine."<br /></span> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0"><b>. . . . .</b><br /></span> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <span class="i0">"They want no guests; they needs must be<br /></span> + <span class="i0">Each other's own best company."<br /></span> + </div> +</div> + +<p>What sort of a home shall the new +one be? Shall it be the abode of +happy hearts and pure and noble lives, +or shall discontent and misery prevail? +Jane Welch Carlyle says truly: "If +ever one is to pray—if ever one is to +feel grave and anxious—if ever one is +to shrink from vain show and vain +babble—surely it is just on the occasion +of two human beings binding themselves +to one another, for better and +for worse, till death part them."</p> + +<p>Great is the difference in households. +As one walks along a beautiful<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[17]</a></span> +street in a city there is nothing in the +fronts of the houses to indicate the +kind of life which passes within doors. +But an intimate acquaintance, such as +a faithful pastor gains in the course of +his labors, often reveals the fact that in +some of the most magnificent houses +there is no peace or joy, while in some +of the humblest cottages there is a +calm and loving spirit which continues +and grows from year to year.</p> + +<p>The kind of a house, even the adornments +which wealth and luxury bring, +do not determine the true home. The +two people who establish the new +household decide its quality.</p> + +<p>That the people who occupy a +home decide its quality is beautifully +expressed by Nathaniel Cotton, a poet +of the last century:</p> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">"If solid happiness we prize,<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Within our breast this jewel lies;<br /></span> +<span class="i2">And they are fools who roam:<br /></span> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[18]</a></span> +<span class="i0">The world has nothing to bestow;<br /></span> +<span class="i0">From our own selves our joys must flow,<br /></span> +<span class="i2">And that dear hut, our home."<br /></span> +</div> +</div> + +<p>If those who occupy the home resolve +to be happy and contented, to +avoid envying persons of larger means +and higher social position, to lead a +life of mutual confidence and esteem, +and to serve God with trustful love, +their home will be to them a sacred +place. I was once pastor of a church +in Fulton Street, Elizabeth, N. J., where +the most of the members were mechanics +and laborers and on the railroad. +Their circumstances were limited, +and they had but little power to +adorn their houses. But in some of +those homes there reigned such beauty +of spirit, such contentment with the +condition in life, such kindliness and +sympathy, such cheerfulness and patience, +that it was a joy to cross the +threshold and commune with the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[19]</a></span> +members of the plain and unambitious +families. The memories of those visits +are among the most delightful of my +pastoral experience.</p> + +<p>Suppose, then, your new home is +plain and homely. Remember, that +marble walls, and broad and polished +halls, and masterpieces in painting on +the walls, and a daily fare of luxuries, +and table service of silver and gold, and +a retinue of liveried servants do not +constitute a home. Though the new +home consist of only a few rooms, if mutual +love and admiration reign within +the narrow walls, no historical palace +can be half so beautiful or attractive.</p> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">"Home's not merely four square walls,<br /></span> +<span class="i2">Though hung with pictures nicely gilded;<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Home is where affection calls,<br /></span> +<span class="i2">Filled with shrines the heart hath builded.<br /></span> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0"><b>. . . . .</b><br /></span> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">"Home's not merely roof and room;<br /></span> +<span class="i2">Home needs something to endear it;<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Home is where the heart can bloom,<br /></span> +<span class="i2">Where there's some kind heart to cheer it."<br /></span> +</div> +</div> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[20]</a></span></p> +<p class="lastpara">But for a home to be truly beautiful +there must needs be, always, one guest—the +Saviour. There were many +magnificent buildings in Jerusalem +when He walked its streets and performed +his miraculous works of healing. +But in all the land, and in all the +ages, there was never one more charming +than that little home in Bethany, +where Lazarus and his sisters Mary +and Martha constituted the household. +And why was that the perfect home? +Because our Lord was always the welcome +Guest.</p> + + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="page_21" id="page_21">[21]</a></span></p> +<h2>THE HOME ALTAR.</h2> + + +<p><span class = "firstletter"> +<img src = "images/img_letter_e.png" width = "45" height = "45" +alt = "E"></img></span>very thing depends on +the way you begin your new life +in your own new home. The +household altar is a supreme necessity. +No hesitation or timidity should be allowed +to prevent family worship. If +both of you are members of the Church, +the holding of a brief family worship +need not be a serious trial. The difficulty +will be when only one is a Christian, +and still greater will it be if neither +is a Christian. What is to be done under +such circumstances? Must the having +family worship be postponed until the +religious life be commenced? That is +uncertain, and it may be years before +a household altar is established. The<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[22]</a></span> +only safe way is to begin at once by +holding a short service. Simple it may +be. It was the daily custom of President +Hayes, during his presidential +term of office, to convene his family +for daily worship. The prayer consisted +of only the Lord's Prayer. But +it was enough. The minds of the +household were directed toward spiritual +things. The help of God was +sought, to bear whatever burdens the +day might bring.</p> + +<p>However great the embarrassment +in the face of this great duty, let it not +prevent the brief domestic worship. +Begin—begin immediately. A short +Scripture reading, followed by prayer, +even only the Lord's Prayer, will be +sufficient. There are good forms of +prayer, some of which I have used to +advantage. Fletcher's <i>Family Devotion</i>; +Sturm's <i>Family Devotions</i>; Morison's +<i>Family Prayers</i>; Cumming's<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[23]</a></span> +<i>Daily Family Devotion</i>; <i>Family Worship</i>, +by one hundred and eighty clergymen +of the Church of Scotland; +Cassell's <i>Family Devotion</i>; Dale's <i>Domestic +Liturgy</i>; Thornton's <i>Family +Prayers</i>; Thompson and Spurgeon's +<i>Home Worship and the Use of the +Bible in the Home</i>; and Jay's <i>Morning +and Evening Exercises</i>, are good +books for this purpose. The works +of Fletcher, Thornton, and the <i>Home +Worship</i> of Thompson and Spurgeon +are worthy of special commendation. +Even when one is accustomed to +extemporaneous prayer, the use of +one of the above books will, nevertheless, +be of great service in preventing +stereotyped phrases and trains of +thought. I have often found that my +own needs, and I believe those of my +family, have been better and more exactly +described by others than by myself. +It is best, however, to get into<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[24]</a></span> +no fixed form. Let the extemporaneous +prayer, or the printed form of +prayer, be used judiciously, as circumstances +require.</p> + +<p>Care should be taken that the home +worship may not be made tedious, and +thus become a burden. I have always +found it best to use the Bible for the +Scripture selection rather than the selections +made in the books containing +forms of prayer. It is well to read the +Bible in course, and to have <i>the same +copy of the Bible</i> from which to read +brief selections, without being governed +by the divisions in chapters. +Your one and the same Bible, being +used every day in family worship, becomes +very precious with the growing +years. It will be associated with all +the tenderest memories of the home +life. I have occasionally used a different +copy of the Bible in my own +home for family worship, but none is<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[25]</a></span> +half so dear as the plain, old, and +well-worn copy with which I began, +when I established my own home altar, +far back in the years.</p> + +<p>But, besides worship together at the +family altar, there should be private +prayer. Every one should have a +place where he can worship God +alone. Our Lord saw the necessity +that each of his disciples should be +alone with him. Hence he said: +"When thou prayest, enter into thy +closet, and when thou hast shut thy +door, pray to thy Father which is in +secret; and thy Father which seeth in +secret shall reward thee openly." Begin +the day by solitary communing +with God. End the day in the same +way, by asking God for his forgiveness +for the past, for his preservation for +the night, and for his care in all the +time to come.</p> + +<p>But some one may say: "Does not<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[26]</a></span> +this attention to religious duties make +the new home gloomy?" Not at all. +It is the way to make it bright and +cheerful. The wedding day soon +passes by, and in time will come the +regular domestic life, with its monotony +and cares. Leave this life to +God's ordering. He alone can make +us strong for every hour's demands. +The German poet Schirmer says a +wise word, which well applies to all +who begin life in the new home:</p> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">"Left to ourselves we shall but stray;<br /></span> +<span class="i0">O, lead us in the narrow way:<br /></span> +<span class="i2">With wisest counsel guide us,<br /></span> +<span class="i0">And give us steadfastness, that we<br /></span> +<span class="i0">May henceforth truly follow thee,<br /></span> +<span class="i2">Whatever woes betide us.<br /></span> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0"><b>. . . . .</b><br /></span> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">"O mighty Rock, O Source of life,<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Let thy clear word, 'mid doubt and strife,<br /></span> +<span class="i2">Be so within us burning,<br /></span> +<span class="i0">That we be faithful unto death<br /></span> +<span class="i0">In thy pure love and holy faith,<br /></span> +<span class="i2">From thee true wisdom learning.<br /></span> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[27]</a></span> +<span class="i0">Lord, thy graces on us shower;<br /></span> +<span class="i0">By thy power<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Christ confessing<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Let us win his grace and blessing."<br /></span> +</div> +</div> + +<p class="lastpara">Vinet here lays down the true principle +of a thoroughly good life at +home: "Wherever we advance in the +path of marriage and of life, with eyes +lifted up toward a Saviour we love, +with a salvation we hope for, with a +spirit of prayer and supplication +through which Jesus Christ constantly +intervenes by his Spirit between the +husband and wife—there, indeed, a +marriage may be happy; nay, must be +infallibly so. The union between two +converted hearts is necessarily sweet +and unutterable; without this there is +no security." The new home consecrated +by prayer—daily prayer—will +become what that beautiful home of +Sir Thomas More was—"a school and +exercise of the Christian religion."</p> + + + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="page_28" id="page_28">[28]</a></span></p> +<h2>THE HOME BEAUTIFUL.</h2> + + +<p><span class = "firstletter"> +<img src = "images/img_letter_g.png" width = "45" height = "45" +alt = "G"></img></span>reat art is required in making +beautiful the new home. +The house need not be large +and stately in order to be attractive to +the eye. More attention has been paid +of late in this country to the adornment +of homes than in former years. We +Americans begin to see, as never before, +that the enjoyment of the occupants of +a house is in some way connected with +the furnishing and general effect. Let +every room be used. Let the inner +doors be kept wide open. In this way +the atmosphere will be uniform and of +free circulation; the interior of the +house will appear to its full size, and +the general effect will be more cheerful.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[29]</a></span> +Even the humblest means need not +prevent some simple hangings and a +few prints on the walls.</p> + +<p>I would let the sunlight pour into +the new home. The old dread that the +carpets will get faded and the curtains +get spoiled is an abomination. My +own habit is, so soon as I get down +stairs in the morning—and I am an +early riser—to draw aside the curtains, +to let the shades fly up, and to throw +the sashes wide open. By and by, if +from the street this airy appearance is +considered a little unfashionable, and +those within choose to shut out the +sunlight in a measure, I rejoice that I +have had my unfashionable way, and the +sun has had his golden way, for a while +at least. Gladness comes into the house +with the blaze of the blessed sun. Let +all the rooms share the joy. I suppose +a carpet somewhat faded will wear as +long as if the colors were fresh. But<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[30]</a></span> +if the penalty for having bright and +sunny rooms is to be some faded carpets +and window hangings, let the full +penalty be paid, and cheerfully, too. +No price is too great for a bright and +sunny home.</p> + +<p>The sight of a few flowers adds to +the beauty of even the humblest home. +Even a sprig of arbutus or jessamine, +or a lily of the valley, on the table, will +make every meal the sweeter. The +Germans of the poorest class, all over +the Fatherland, never forget to have +flowers in their lowly homes. If the +family occupy only a few rooms in a +lofty story, they will be sure to have +beautiful plants on the window-ledge, +and here and there within the rooms. +These are of such kind that the succession +of flowers is well kept up in all +seasons. Throughout the year, when +there is no frost, these flowering plants +at the German windows can be seen<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[31]</a></span> +from the street to the highest flat. +The varied flowers and the hanging +vines form beautiful pictures in village +and town.</p> + +<p class="lastpara">Away with the thought that wealth +is needed to make the home beautiful! +It is a question of taste, tact, and a desire +to please another. On the very +street where I live there is a quiet little +house, occupied by a newly-married +couple. It is inexpensive, and the +furniture is not costly. But there is +so much taste in the furnishing and +ornamentation, and there is so much +brightness in all the rooms, that the +home is a charming picture. I seldom +pass it without thinking of the beautiful, +but not costly, interior.</p> + + + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="page_32" id="page_32">[32]</a></span></p> +<h2>GOOD READING AT HOME.</h2> + +<p><span class = "firstletter"> +<img src = "images/img_letter_a.png" width = "45" height = "45" +alt = "A"></img></span> home without books is a +desert. In these days all the +standard authors can be bought +at small price, and even the humblest +home should be adorned with the companionship +of at least some of them. +You may not have a taste for reading; +at any rate, you may think you have not. +But possibly you have made a mistake +in the kind of books you have tried to +enjoy, and so imagined that you do not +like any books. Try another class, and +you will likely be surprised to find that +you can enjoy them. Suppose you +have not the experience to select proper +books. Now, you will have a pastor, +of course, and a church home. Make<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[33]</a></span> +a friend of that pastor. He ought to +be a good adviser in the matter of +proper books. At any rate, get some +judicious friend to help you in the +choice. Buy only a very few books at +a time, and let your little home-library +grow gradually. Never buy a book +that you have your doubts about. Emerson's +advice to buy only a standard +work, which has been out for years, +has its good and safe quality. Avoid +too much fiction and a superabundance +of periodical literature. One popular +magazine is enough. The money which +you have for reading-matter should be +confined chiefly to books, and they +ought to be the world's masterpieces.</p> + +<p>I am satisfied that in the average +home there is too little reading. History, +biography, travel, with a fair share +of religious books, can be read in course +at home, in the odd half hours, and the +mind become richly stored with facts.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[34]</a></span> +Is there any thing in the domestic life +which ought to interfere with this constant +culture of the mind? Not at all. +The domestic life is highly favorable to +mental discipline. The very beginning +of real intellectual improvement in +many a mind has been in the new home +of persons just married. The reading +aloud of an interesting work, the one +to the other, is a delightful entertainment, +and gives a new charm to life. +Every effort must be employed to keep +the mind from becoming sluggish and +barren. We need information, the +thoughts of the good and great and +richly endowed, to make our own lives +richer.</p> + +<p>It would be a wise arrangement if +every man and woman, on establishing +their home, would set apart some time +for intellectual improvement by the +reading of good books. I am acquainted +with a young lady, who, on<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[35]</a></span> +entering her plain little house, found +that her husband and herself were so +interrupted by visits and other claims +on their time in the evening, that they +resolved to rise an hour earlier in the +morning, and devote the time to reading +and study. They were thus free +from interruption, and had ample opportunity, +before the regular duties of +the day began, to store their minds +with useful knowledge. I think it probable +that they will carry this excellent +custom with them through life.</p> + +<p>Much of my time is spent in high-ways, +and along the narrow by-ways of +life. My homes are many. But when +my good fortune brings me at night to +occupy a room far from my own home, +where a good book or two are to be +found, I can say with Milton, in his +<i>Areopagitica</i>: "A good book is the precious +life-blood of a master-spirit embalmed +and treasured up on purpose<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[36]</a></span> +to a life beyond;" and with Wordsworth, +in his "Personal Talk":</p> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">"Dreams, books, are each a world; and books, we know,<br /></span> +<span class="i2">Are a substantial world, both pure and good;<br /></span> +<span class="i2">Round these, with tendrils strong as flesh and blood,<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Our pastime and our happiness will grow."<br /></span> +</div> +</div> + +<p class="lastpara">I like a home where you can see the +books. A choice book-case with glass +doors, and the doors locked, ought to +be expelled from the home. Let the +books be where they can be seen and +easily reached. Let them not be confined +to one room, but so distributed +that nearly every room shall have at +least a few in sight. A few books here +and there about the house, and even in +the bed-rooms, are worth more than a +costly piece of furniture. When we +see books in our homes, and they are +where we can handle them without effort, +we are apt to take them up, and +get snatches of good reading.</p> + + + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="page_37" id="page_37">[37]</a></span></p> +<h2>FORBEARANCE.</h2> + + +<p><span class = "firstletter"> +<img src = "images/img_letter_t.png" width = "45" height = "45" +alt = "T"></img></span>he marriage bond is sacred. It +lasts for life: "Until death do +us part." But it is probable +that qualities of temperament and mind +in each one will develop which will surprise +the other. Some of these may produce +an unfavorable impression. Others +may prove most agreeable surprises. +Each person has come from a different +class of associations, and each has a different +nature. Here comes in the great +necessity of accommodation and adaptation. +Too early and too much criticism +spoils many a home. "One silent, +both happy," is an old motto well worth +observing. But often a single appreciative +word will brighten the whole sky. +One of Franklin's plain phrases has its<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[38]</a></span> +wise lesson: "As we must account for +every idle word, so we must for every +idle silence." Frederika Bremer says: +"Marriage has a morrow, and again a +morrow." You will need to bear with +each other, and to so act, each to the +other, that every day may be made +beautiful and happy, and the whole +future one of mutual and respectful +forbearance.</p> + +<p>"Foolish to think," says Dr. A. P. +Peabody, "that the whole mutual life +can flow on like the early stream, without +a ripple or eddy. Home is a school, +a discipline whereby husband and wife +are to grow unto each other, getting +rid of their angularities, harmonizing +their peculiar characteristics, and more +and more becoming one in thought, +sympathy, and life. The true blessedness +of wedded souls is not insured by +a simple exchange of plighted faith. +It comes through and after many a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[39]</a></span> +self-denial, many a crucifixion of the +will, many a scourging of the resentment, +anger, pride, vanity, and passions +of the heart. It is true here, as in +other relations, that 'he who saveth his +life shall lose it, and he that loseth his +life shall save it.'"</p> + +<p>Do not forget, then, that the life at +home has its severe tests. If it is not +an expected thing, it will be the unexpected +which will try your nature and +make your burden heavy. You should +remember, if there is fault, that it is not +all on one side. The unkind word +may come to the lips, but it should +never be spoken.</p> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">"Words are mighty, words are living;<br /></span> +<span class="i2">Serpents with their venomous stings,<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Or bright angels, crowding round us,<br /></span> +<span class="i2">With heaven's light upon their wings:<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Every word has its own spirit,<br /></span> +<span class="i2">True or false, that never dies;<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Every word man's lips have uttered<br /></span> +<span class="i2">Echoes in God's skies."<br /></span> +</div> +</div> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[40]</a></span></p> +<p>The graces of patience, sublime calmness, +golden silence, should be cultivated +with delightful zeal. You may +each have had your way, but now the +way of another must be respected. Besides, +it may be a much better and safer +way than yours. John Angell James +says: "Where both have infirmities, +and they are so constantly together, +innumerable occasions will be furnished, +if we are eager, or even willing, +to avail ourselves of the opportunities +for those contentions which, if they do +not produce a permanent suppression +of love, lead to its temporary interruption. +Many things we should connive +at, others we should pass by with +an unprovoked mind, and in all things +most carefully avoid even what at +first may seem to be an innocent disputation."</p> + +<p>The real basis of adaptation is mutual +respect and love. Neither the hus<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[41]</a></span>band +nor the wife must judge each +other too critically. The indiscreet +word, or error of any kind, must never +be allowed to cause a doubt as to the +heart's deep affection. Gentleness, patience, +time, will give ample opportunity +for the full sunlight to break forth. +Each heart needs the other for true +happiness. It must be a united life. +In "Hiawatha" we read the true relation:</p> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">"As unto the bow the cord is,<br /></span> +<span class="i0">So unto the man is woman,<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Though she bends him, she obeys him;<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Though she draws him, yet she follows,<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Useless each without the other."<br /></span> +</div> +</div> + +<p>The married life, to be supremely +happy, must be thoroughly unselfish. I +was once on shipboard with a tourist +who was accompanied by his wife, but +for whose opinion he seemed, even to +other travelers, to show but little respect. +The voyage was a long one,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[42]</a></span> +and while the wife's bearing was most +gentle and kindly, his manner impressed +me as thoroughly selfish. I +do not imagine that he was aware of +the abrupt and strongly personal quality +of his bearing toward his refined +and cultured wife. With all his wealth +he lacked that appearance of tenderness +which is more than gold or precious +stones.</p> + +<p>No effort must be spared by either +husband or wife to contribute to the +other's happiness and comfort. It does +not require a long time, especially when +living together, for one to see what will +please another. This desire to please, +strengthening with the days and years, +revealing itself in a thousand kindly +ways, will do more than any thing else +to make the home a paradise on earth.</p> + +<p>Cowper gives the true secret of a +beautiful and strengthening reciprocal +adaptation:</p> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[43]</a></span></p> +<span class="i0">"The kindest and the happiest pair<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Will have occasion to forbear;<br /></span> +<span class="i0">And something every day they live<br /></span> +<span class="i0">To pity, and perchance forgive.<br /></span> +<span class="i0">The love that cheers life's latest stage,<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Proof against sickness and old age,<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Is gentle, delicate and kind:<br /></span> +<span class="i0">To faults compassionate or blind,<br /></span> +<span class="i0">And will with sympathy endure<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Those evils it would gladly cure."<br /></span> +</div> +</div> + +<p class="lastpara">I believe the Germans excel all +others in literature in their warm tributes +to the faithful love and devotion +of their wives. Kerner, the Suabian +author, said this beautiful word in testimony +of his wife after their long years +of happiness together: "She hath borne +with me." Martin Luther said of his +wife, the devoted Catherine: "I would +not exchange my poverty with her for +all the riches of Crœsus without her." +Bismarck, the man of "blood and iron," +says of his wife: "She it is who made +me what I am."</p> + + + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="page_44" id="page_44">[44]</a></span></p> +<h2>THE YESTERDAYS OF HOME.</h2> + + +<p><span class = "firstletter"> +<img src = "images/img_letter_e.png" width = "45" height = "45" +alt = "E"></img></span>very day becomes a yesterday. +Our conduct at home +should be such that the morrow +will bring no regrets. Mrs. Sigourney +thus describes the changes that must +come over the brightest home:</p> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">"Not for the summer's hour alone,<br /></span> +<span class="i2">When skies resplendent shine<br /></span> +<span class="i0">And youth and pleasure fill the throne,<br /></span> +<span class="i2">Our hearts and hands we join.<br /></span> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">"But for those stern and wintry days<br /></span> +<span class="i2">Of sorrow, pain, and fear.<br /></span> +<span class="i0">When Heaven's wise discipline doth make<br /></span> +<span class="i2">Our earthly journey drear."<br /></span> +</div> +</div> + +<p>It is sad enough when either a man +or his wife learns first, when one or +the other is taken away by death, that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[45]</a></span> +there has been a life-long want of considerate +tenderness.</p> + +<p>Supposing the late Thomas Carlyle +had been a little more attentive to his +brilliant and devoted wife during their +long and lonely life in the plain home +in Cheyne Row, in Chelsea, London, +such words as these, which escaped +her in a letter to a friend, could never +have been said: "Those little attentions +which we women attach so much +importance to he was never in the +habit of rendering to any one; his upbringing, +and the severe turn of mind +he has from nature, had alike indisposed +him toward them."</p> + +<p>But the grim old man saw his mistake +at last. It was all too late, however. +It was only after all her sacrifices +had been made, and he had +written his many works, and she lay in +her grave, that he awoke to a knowledge +of his long neglect. Mr. Froude<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[46]</a></span> +says that Carlyle often said, when there +was no more opportunity for a kind +word to reach his wife: "O if I could +but see her for five minutes, to assure +her that I really cared for her throughout +all that; but she never knew it, +she never knew it." It is no wonder +that Mr. Froude was compelled to +write of Carlyle these sad words: "For +many years after she had left him, +when he passed the spot where she was +last seen alive he would bare his gray +head in the wind and rain, his features +wrung with unavailing sorrow."</p> + +<p>We are prone to take too many +things for granted. You should not assume +that your thoughtless word, or +harsh manner, or forgetfulness of little +and delicate attentions will have no +effect, and will be duly passed by as +unmeaning. No such thing! Every +word or look which is incompatible +with genuine love and respect weighs<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[47]</a></span> +like a millstone. Gentle attentions +will be remembered, not only through +the day, but through all the days. Recently, +while on a visit in Irvington-on-the-Hudson, +the widow of a celebrated +publisher led me to the portrait of her +lamented husband, and stood in admiration +before the magnificent painting. +She then said to me: "I esteem it the +greatest honor that could be conferred +upon me to have been the wife of such +a man." Could there be a grander tribute +to an attentive and devoted husband?</p> + +<p>In that exquisite work, <i>Memorials +of a Quiet Life</i>, Mrs. Hare pays this +beautiful tribute to her husband: "I +never saw any body so easy to live +with, by whom the daily petty things +of life were passed over so lightly; and +then there is a charm in the <i>refinement</i> +of feeling which is not to be told in its +influence upon trifles." Mrs. Stowe, in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[48]</a></span> +describing the good qualities of the +Duchess of Sutherland in her own +home in Scotland, says that she excelled +in <i>considerateness</i>. Paul's advice +is as beautiful as it is true, and suits +young married people perfectly. In +the Revised Version it reads thus: +"In lowliness of mind each counting +other better than himself; not looking +each of you to his own things, but each +of you also to the things of others." +Another piece of Pauline advice is of +equally useful quality: "Let us therefore +follow after the things which make +for peace, and things wherewith one +may edify another."</p> + +<p class="lastpara">Happy are they whom death has not +yet divided, and to whom it is still +granted to say such words and do such +kindly acts as will prove delightful +memories when the Happy To-Days +become only Yesterdays in the Home.</p> + + +<p class="note"> +Transcriber's Note:<br/> +<small>The second signature on the "Witnesses" page does not reproduce in the scan shown.</small></p> + +<p> </p> +<hr class="full" /> +<p>***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE WEDDING DAY***</p> +<p>******* This file should be named 24171-h.txt or 24171-h.zip *******</p> +<p>This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:<br /> +<a href="http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/4/1/7/24171">http://www.gutenberg.org/2/4/1/7/24171</a></p> +<p>Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed.</p> + +<p>Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: The Wedding Day + The Service--The Marriage Certificate--Words of Counsel + + +Editor: John Fletcher Hurst + +Release Date: January 5, 2008 [eBook #24171] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE WEDDING DAY*** + + +E-text prepared by Eileen Gormly, Norbert H. Langkau, Daryl Hrdlicka, and +the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team +(https://www.pgdp.net) + + + +Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this + file which includes the original illustrations. + See 24171-h.htm or 24171-h.zip: + (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/4/1/7/24171/24171-h/24171-h.htm) + or + (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/4/1/7/24171/24171-h.zip) + + +Transcriber's Notes: + + Text that is handwritten in the original is surrounded by + tildes (~). + + The second signature on the "Witnesses" page is too faint + in the original to be readable. + + + + + +THE WEDDING DAY. + +The Service--The Marriage Certificate--Words of Counsel. + +Edited by + +JOHN F. HURST, D.D., LL.D. + + + + + + + +Buffalo: +H. H. Otis. +1889. + +Copyright, 1888, by +H. H. OTIS +Buffalo, N. Y. + + + + +CONTENTS + + Page + + FORM FOR THE SOLEMNIZATION OF MATRIMONY, 5 + + CERTIFICATE, 13 + + WITNESSES, 14 + + THE NEW HOME, 15 + + THE HOME ALTAR, 21 + + THE HOME BEAUTIFUL, 28 + + GOOD READING AT HOME, 32 + + FORBEARANCE, 37 + + THE YESTERDAYS OF HOME, 44 + + + + +FORM FOR THE SOLEMNIZATION OF MATRIMONY. + + +[THE PARTS IN BRACKETS THROUGHOUT MAY BE USED OR NOT, AT DISCRETION.] + +_At the day and time appointed for the Solemnization of Matrimony, the + persons to be married--having been qualified according to law--standing + together, the Man on the right hand and the Woman on the left, the + Minister shall say:_ + +Dearly beloved: we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and +in the presence of these witnesses, to join together this man and this +woman in holy Matrimony; which is an honorable estate, instituted of God +in the time of man's innocency, signifying unto us the mystical union +that exists between Christ and his Church; which holy estate Christ +adorned and beautified with his presence, and first miracle that he +wrought in Cana of Galilee, and is commended of Saint Paul to be +honorable among all men; and therefore is not by any to be entered into +unadvisedly, but reverently, discreetly, and in the fear of God. + +Into which holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined. +Therefore, if any can show just cause why they may not lawfully be +joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter forever hold his +peace. + +[_And also, speaking unto the persons who are to be married, the + Minister shall say:_ + +I require and charge you both, that if either of you know any impediment +why you may not be lawfully joined together in Matrimony, you do now +confess it; for be ye well assured, that so many as are coupled together +otherwise than God's word doth allow are not joined together by God, +neither is their Matrimony lawful.] + +_If no impediment be alleged, then shall the Minister say unto the Man:_ + +M. Wilt thou have this woman to be thy wedded wife, to live together +after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love +her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health: and, +forsaking all other, keep thee only unto her so long as ye both shall +live? + +_The Man shall answer:_ + + I will. + +_Then shall the Minister say unto the Woman:_ + +N. Wilt thou have this man to be thy wedded husband, to live together +after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love, +honor, and keep him, in sickness and in health: and, forsaking all +other, keep thee only unto him so long as ye both shall live? + +_The Woman shall answer:_ + + I will. + +[_Then the Minister shall cause the Man with his right hand to take the + Woman by her right hand, and to say after him as followeth:_ + +I _M._ take thee _N._ to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold, from +this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in +sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, +according to God's holy ordinance: And thereto I plight thee my faith. + +_Then shall they loose their hands, and the Woman with her right hand + taking the Man by his right hand shall likewise say after the Minister:_ + +I _N._ take thee _M._ to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold, from +this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in +sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, +according to God's holy ordinance: and thereto I plight thee my faith.] + +_Then shall the Minister Pray thus:_ + +O eternal God, Creator and Preserver of all mankind, Giver of all +spiritual grace, the Author of everlasting life: send thy blessing upon +these thy servants, this man and this woman, whom we bless in thy name; +that as Isaac and Rebecca lived faithfully together, so these persons +may surely perform and keep the vow and covenant between them made, and +may ever remain in perfect love and peace together, and live according +to thy laws, through Jesus Christ our Lord. _Amen._ + +[_If the parties desire it, the Man shall here hand a Ring to the + Minister, who shall return it to him, and direct him to place it on the + third finger of the Woman's left hand. And the Man shall say to the + Woman, repeating after the Minister:_ + +With this ring I thee wed, and with my worldly goods I thee endow, in +the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. _Amen._] + +_Then shall the Minister join their right hands together, and say:_ + +Forasmuch as _M._ and _N._ have consented together in holy wedlock, and +have witnessed the same before God and this company, and thereto have +pledged their faith either to other, and have declared the same by +joining of hands; I pronounce that they are husband and wife together, +in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Those +whom God hath joined together, let no man put asunder. _Amen._ + +_And the Minister shall add this blessing:_ + +God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, bless, preserve, and keep +you; the Lord mercifully with his favor look upon you, and so fill you +with all spiritual benediction and grace, that ye may so live together +in this life, that in the world to come ye may have life everlasting. +_Amen._ + +_Then shall the Minister offer the following Prayer:_ + +O God of Abraham, God of Isaac, God of Jacob, bless this man and this +woman, and sow the seed of eternal life in their hearts, that whatsoever +in thy holy word they shall profitably learn, they may indeed fulfill +the same. Look, O Lord, mercifully on them from heaven, and bless them: +as thou didst send thy blessings upon Abraham and Sarah to their great +comfort, so vouchsafe to send thy blessings upon this man and this +woman, that they, obeying thy will, and always being in safety under thy +protection, may abide in thy love unto their lives' end, through Jesus +Christ our Lord. + +Almighty God, who at the beginning didst create our first parents, Adam +and Eve, and didst sanctify and join them together in marriage, pour +upon these persons the riches of thy grace, sanctify and bless them, +that they may please thee both in body and soul, and live together in +holy love unto their lives' end. _Amen._ + +_Here the Minister may use extemporary Prayer._ + +_Then the Minister shall repeat the Lord's Prayer:_ + +Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. +Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our +daily bread: and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that +trespass against us: and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us +from evil: for thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, +forever. _Amen._ + +[Illustration: + + This Certifies + + That ~Robert B. Lawrence~ + of ~Olean~ State of ~N. Y.~ + and ~Maude L. Harvey~ + of ~Olean~ State of ~N. Y.~ + + WERE BY ME UNITED IN + + + HOLY MATRIMONY + + + ACCORDING TO THE ORDINANCE OF GOD AND THE LAWS OF THE + STATE OF ~New York~ + + at ~Home of the bride Olean N. Y.~ + on the ~Eleventh~ day of ~July-11-1900~ + in the year of our Lord one thousand + ~nine~ hundred ~1900~ + + ~G. R. Harvey~ + Minister of the Gospel.] + +[Illustration: + + WITNESSES: + + ~Arthur Wright~ + ~ ...~ + ~John S. Seivert~ + ~Jessie Seivert~ + ~Francis E. Selover,~ + ~Mr. & Mrs. A J Lawrence~] + + + + +THE NEW HOME. + + +The founding of a new home marks an important era in a human life. +Whether you be poor or wealthy, wise or ignorant, it is all the +same--you begin a new existence. The associations of childhood and youth +now undergo a total change. The familiar scenes disappear suddenly. +Longfellow, in his "Hanging of the Crane," writes the following touching +words on the eventful day: + + "O fortunate, O happy day, + When a new household finds its place + Among the myriad homes of earth, + Like a new star sprung to birth, + And rolled on its harmonious way + Into the boundless realms of space! + + ..... + + "For two alone, there in the hall, + Is spread the table round and small; + Upon the polished silver shine + The evening lamps; but, more divine, + The light of love shines over all; + Of love that says not mine and thine, + But ours, for ours is thine and mine. + + ..... + + "They want no guests; they needs must be + Each other's own best company." + +What sort of a home shall the new one be? Shall it be the abode of happy +hearts and pure and noble lives, or shall discontent and misery prevail? +Jane Welch Carlyle says truly: "If ever one is to pray--if ever one is +to feel grave and anxious--if ever one is to shrink from vain show and +vain babble--surely it is just on the occasion of two human beings +binding themselves to one another, for better and for worse, till death +part them." + +Great is the difference in households. As one walks along a beautiful +street in a city there is nothing in the fronts of the houses to +indicate the kind of life which passes within doors. But an intimate +acquaintance, such as a faithful pastor gains in the course of his +labors, often reveals the fact that in some of the most magnificent +houses there is no peace or joy, while in some of the humblest cottages +there is a calm and loving spirit which continues and grows from year to +year. + +The kind of a house, even the adornments which wealth and luxury bring, +do not determine the true home. The two people who establish the new +household decide its quality. + +That the people who occupy a home decide its quality is beautifully +expressed by Nathaniel Cotton, a poet of the last century: + + "If solid happiness we prize, + Within our breast this jewel lies; + And they are fools who roam: + The world has nothing to bestow; + From our own selves our joys must flow, + And that dear hut, our home." + +If those who occupy the home resolve to be happy and contented, to avoid +envying persons of larger means and higher social position, to lead a +life of mutual confidence and esteem, and to serve God with trustful +love, their home will be to them a sacred place. I was once pastor of a +church in Fulton Street, Elizabeth, N. J., where the most of the members +were mechanics and laborers and on the railroad. Their circumstances +were limited, and they had but little power to adorn their houses. But +in some of those homes there reigned such beauty of spirit, such +contentment with the condition in life, such kindliness and sympathy, +such cheerfulness and patience, that it was a joy to cross the threshold +and commune with the members of the plain and unambitious families. The +memories of those visits are among the most delightful of my pastoral +experience. + +Suppose, then, your new home is plain and homely. Remember, that marble +walls, and broad and polished halls, and masterpieces in painting on the +walls, and a daily fare of luxuries, and table service of silver and +gold, and a retinue of liveried servants do not constitute a home. +Though the new home consist of only a few rooms, if mutual love and +admiration reign within the narrow walls, no historical palace can be +half so beautiful or attractive. + + "Home's not merely four square walls, + Though hung with pictures nicely gilded; + Home is where affection calls, + Filled with shrines the heart hath builded. + + ..... + + "Home's not merely roof and room; + Home needs something to endear it; + Home is where the heart can bloom, + Where there's some kind heart to cheer it." + +But for a home to be truly beautiful there must needs be, always, one +guest--the Saviour. There were many magnificent buildings in Jerusalem +when He walked its streets and performed his miraculous works of +healing. But in all the land, and in all the ages, there was never one +more charming than that little home in Bethany, where Lazarus and his +sisters Mary and Martha constituted the household. And why was that the +perfect home? Because our Lord was always the welcome Guest. + + + + +THE HOME ALTAR. + + +Every thing depends on the way you begin your new life in your own new +home. The household altar is a supreme necessity. No hesitation or +timidity should be allowed to prevent family worship. If both of you are +members of the Church, the holding of a brief family worship need not be +a serious trial. The difficulty will be when only one is a Christian, +and still greater will it be if neither is a Christian. What is to be +done under such circumstances? Must the having family worship be +postponed until the religious life be commenced? That is uncertain, and +it may be years before a household altar is established. The only safe +way is to begin at once by holding a short service. Simple it may be. It +was the daily custom of President Hayes, during his presidential term of +office, to convene his family for daily worship. The prayer consisted of +only the Lord's Prayer. But it was enough. The minds of the household +were directed toward spiritual things. The help of God was sought, to +bear whatever burdens the day might bring. + +However great the embarrassment in the face of this great duty, let it +not prevent the brief domestic worship. Begin--begin immediately. A +short Scripture reading, followed by prayer, even only the Lord's +Prayer, will be sufficient. There are good forms of prayer, some of +which I have used to advantage. Fletcher's _Family Devotion_; Sturm's +_Family Devotions_; Morison's _Family Prayers_; Cumming's _Daily Family +Devotion_; _Family Worship_, by one hundred and eighty clergymen of the +Church of Scotland; Cassell's _Family Devotion_; Dale's _Domestic +Liturgy_; Thornton's _Family Prayers_; Thompson and Spurgeon's _Home +Worship and the Use of the Bible in the Home_; and Jay's _Morning and +Evening Exercises_, are good books for this purpose. The works of +Fletcher, Thornton, and the _Home Worship_ of Thompson and Spurgeon are +worthy of special commendation. Even when one is accustomed to +extemporaneous prayer, the use of one of the above books will, +nevertheless, be of great service in preventing stereotyped phrases and +trains of thought. I have often found that my own needs, and I believe +those of my family, have been better and more exactly described by +others than by myself. It is best, however, to get into no fixed form. +Let the extemporaneous prayer, or the printed form of prayer, be used +judiciously, as circumstances require. + +Care should be taken that the home worship may not be made tedious, and +thus become a burden. I have always found it best to use the Bible for +the Scripture selection rather than the selections made in the books +containing forms of prayer. It is well to read the Bible in course, and +to have _the same copy of the Bible_ from which to read brief +selections, without being governed by the divisions in chapters. Your +one and the same Bible, being used every day in family worship, becomes +very precious with the growing years. It will be associated with all the +tenderest memories of the home life. I have occasionally used a +different copy of the Bible in my own home for family worship, but none +is half so dear as the plain, old, and well-worn copy with which I +began, when I established my own home altar, far back in the years. + +But, besides worship together at the family altar, there should be +private prayer. Every one should have a place where he can worship God +alone. Our Lord saw the necessity that each of his disciples should be +alone with him. Hence he said: "When thou prayest, enter into thy +closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in +secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly." +Begin the day by solitary communing with God. End the day in the same +way, by asking God for his forgiveness for the past, for his +preservation for the night, and for his care in all the time to come. + +But some one may say: "Does not this attention to religious duties make +the new home gloomy?" Not at all. It is the way to make it bright and +cheerful. The wedding day soon passes by, and in time will come the +regular domestic life, with its monotony and cares. Leave this life to +God's ordering. He alone can make us strong for every hour's demands. +The German poet Schirmer says a wise word, which well applies to all who +begin life in the new home: + + "Left to ourselves we shall but stray; + O, lead us in the narrow way: + With wisest counsel guide us, + And give us steadfastness, that we + May henceforth truly follow thee, + Whatever woes betide us. + + ..... + + "O mighty Rock, O Source of life, + Let thy clear word, 'mid doubt and strife, + Be so within us burning, + That we be faithful unto death + In thy pure love and holy faith, + From thee true wisdom learning. + Lord, thy graces on us shower; + By thy power + Christ confessing + Let us win his grace and blessing." + +Vinet here lays down the true principle of a thoroughly good life at +home: "Wherever we advance in the path of marriage and of life, with +eyes lifted up toward a Saviour we love, with a salvation we hope for, +with a spirit of prayer and supplication through which Jesus Christ +constantly intervenes by his Spirit between the husband and wife--there, +indeed, a marriage may be happy; nay, must be infallibly so. The union +between two converted hearts is necessarily sweet and unutterable; +without this there is no security." The new home consecrated by +prayer--daily prayer--will become what that beautiful home of Sir Thomas +More was--"a school and exercise of the Christian religion." + + + + +THE HOME BEAUTIFUL. + + +Great art is required in making beautiful the new home. The house need +not be large and stately in order to be attractive to the eye. More +attention has been paid of late in this country to the adornment of +homes than in former years. We Americans begin to see, as never before, +that the enjoyment of the occupants of a house is in some way connected +with the furnishing and general effect. Let every room be used. Let the +inner doors be kept wide open. In this way the atmosphere will be +uniform and of free circulation; the interior of the house will appear +to its full size, and the general effect will be more cheerful. Even +the humblest means need not prevent some simple hangings and a few +prints on the walls. + +I would let the sunlight pour into the new home. The old dread that the +carpets will get faded and the curtains get spoiled is an abomination. +My own habit is, so soon as I get down stairs in the morning--and I am +an early riser--to draw aside the curtains, to let the shades fly up, +and to throw the sashes wide open. By and by, if from the street this +airy appearance is considered a little unfashionable, and those within +choose to shut out the sunlight in a measure, I rejoice that I have had +my unfashionable way, and the sun has had his golden way, for a while at +least. Gladness comes into the house with the blaze of the blessed sun. +Let all the rooms share the joy. I suppose a carpet somewhat faded will +wear as long as if the colors were fresh. But if the penalty for having +bright and sunny rooms is to be some faded carpets and window hangings, +let the full penalty be paid, and cheerfully, too. No price is too great +for a bright and sunny home. + +The sight of a few flowers adds to the beauty of even the humblest home. +Even a sprig of arbutus or jessamine, or a lily of the valley, on the +table, will make every meal the sweeter. The Germans of the poorest +class, all over the Fatherland, never forget to have flowers in their +lowly homes. If the family occupy only a few rooms in a lofty story, +they will be sure to have beautiful plants on the window-ledge, and here +and there within the rooms. These are of such kind that the succession +of flowers is well kept up in all seasons. Throughout the year, when +there is no frost, these flowering plants at the German windows can be +seen from the street to the highest flat. The varied flowers and the +hanging vines form beautiful pictures in village and town. + +Away with the thought that wealth is needed to make the home beautiful! +It is a question of taste, tact, and a desire to please another. On the +very street where I live there is a quiet little house, occupied by a +newly-married couple. It is inexpensive, and the furniture is not +costly. But there is so much taste in the furnishing and ornamentation, +and there is so much brightness in all the rooms, that the home is a +charming picture. I seldom pass it without thinking of the beautiful, +but not costly, interior. + + + + +GOOD READING AT HOME. + + +A home without books is a desert. In these days all the standard authors +can be bought at small price, and even the humblest home should be +adorned with the companionship of at least some of them. You may not +have a taste for reading; at any rate, you may think you have not. But +possibly you have made a mistake in the kind of books you have tried to +enjoy, and so imagined that you do not like any books. Try another +class, and you will likely be surprised to find that you can enjoy them. +Suppose you have not the experience to select proper books. Now, you +will have a pastor, of course, and a church home. Make a friend of that +pastor. He ought to be a good adviser in the matter of proper books. At +any rate, get some judicious friend to help you in the choice. Buy only +a very few books at a time, and let your little home-library grow +gradually. Never buy a book that you have your doubts about. Emerson's +advice to buy only a standard work, which has been out for years, has +its good and safe quality. Avoid too much fiction and a superabundance +of periodical literature. One popular magazine is enough. The money +which you have for reading-matter should be confined chiefly to books, +and they ought to be the world's masterpieces. + +I am satisfied that in the average home there is too little reading. +History, biography, travel, with a fair share of religious books, can be +read in course at home, in the odd half hours, and the mind become +richly stored with facts. Is there any thing in the domestic life which +ought to interfere with this constant culture of the mind? Not at all. +The domestic life is highly favorable to mental discipline. The very +beginning of real intellectual improvement in many a mind has been in +the new home of persons just married. The reading aloud of an +interesting work, the one to the other, is a delightful entertainment, +and gives a new charm to life. Every effort must be employed to keep the +mind from becoming sluggish and barren. We need information, the +thoughts of the good and great and richly endowed, to make our own lives +richer. + +It would be a wise arrangement if every man and woman, on establishing +their home, would set apart some time for intellectual improvement by +the reading of good books. I am acquainted with a young lady, who, on +entering her plain little house, found that her husband and herself were +so interrupted by visits and other claims on their time in the evening, +that they resolved to rise an hour earlier in the morning, and devote +the time to reading and study. They were thus free from interruption, +and had ample opportunity, before the regular duties of the day began, +to store their minds with useful knowledge. I think it probable that +they will carry this excellent custom with them through life. + +Much of my time is spent in high-ways, and along the narrow by-ways of +life. My homes are many. But when my good fortune brings me at night to +occupy a room far from my own home, where a good book or two are to be +found, I can say with Milton, in his _Areopagitica_: "A good book is the +precious life-blood of a master-spirit embalmed and treasured up on +purpose to a life beyond;" and with Wordsworth, in his "Personal Talk": + + "Dreams, books, are each a world; and books, we know, + Are a substantial world, both pure and good; + Round these, with tendrils strong as flesh and blood, + Our pastime and our happiness will grow." + +I like a home where you can see the books. A choice book-case with glass +doors, and the doors locked, ought to be expelled from the home. Let the +books be where they can be seen and easily reached. Let them not be +confined to one room, but so distributed that nearly every room shall +have at least a few in sight. A few books here and there about the +house, and even in the bed-rooms, are worth more than a costly piece of +furniture. When we see books in our homes, and they are where we can +handle them without effort, we are apt to take them up, and get snatches +of good reading. + + + + +FORBEARANCE. + + +The marriage bond is sacred. It lasts for life: "Until death do us +part." But it is probable that qualities of temperament and mind in each +one will develop which will surprise the other. Some of these may +produce an unfavorable impression. Others may prove most agreeable +surprises. Each person has come from a different class of associations, +and each has a different nature. Here comes in the great necessity of +accommodation and adaptation. Too early and too much criticism spoils +many a home. "One silent, both happy," is an old motto well worth +observing. But often a single appreciative word will brighten the whole +sky. One of Franklin's plain phrases has its wise lesson: "As we must +account for every idle word, so we must for every idle silence." +Frederika Bremer says: "Marriage has a morrow, and again a morrow." You +will need to bear with each other, and to so act, each to the other, +that every day may be made beautiful and happy, and the whole future one +of mutual and respectful forbearance. + +"Foolish to think," says Dr. A. P. Peabody, "that the whole mutual life +can flow on like the early stream, without a ripple or eddy. Home is a +school, a discipline whereby husband and wife are to grow unto each +other, getting rid of their angularities, harmonizing their peculiar +characteristics, and more and more becoming one in thought, sympathy, +and life. The true blessedness of wedded souls is not insured by a +simple exchange of plighted faith. It comes through and after many a +self-denial, many a crucifixion of the will, many a scourging of the +resentment, anger, pride, vanity, and passions of the heart. It is true +here, as in other relations, that 'he who saveth his life shall lose it, +and he that loseth his life shall save it.'" + +Do not forget, then, that the life at home has its severe tests. If it +is not an expected thing, it will be the unexpected which will try your +nature and make your burden heavy. You should remember, if there is +fault, that it is not all on one side. The unkind word may come to the +lips, but it should never be spoken. + + "Words are mighty, words are living; + Serpents with their venomous stings, + Or bright angels, crowding round us, + With heaven's light upon their wings: + Every word has its own spirit, + True or false, that never dies; + Every word man's lips have uttered + Echoes in God's skies." + +The graces of patience, sublime calmness, golden silence, should be +cultivated with delightful zeal. You may each have had your way, but now +the way of another must be respected. Besides, it may be a much better +and safer way than yours. John Angell James says: "Where both have +infirmities, and they are so constantly together, innumerable occasions +will be furnished, if we are eager, or even willing, to avail ourselves +of the opportunities for those contentions which, if they do not produce +a permanent suppression of love, lead to its temporary interruption. +Many things we should connive at, others we should pass by with an +unprovoked mind, and in all things most carefully avoid even what at +first may seem to be an innocent disputation." + +The real basis of adaptation is mutual respect and love. Neither the +husband nor the wife must judge each other too critically. The +indiscreet word, or error of any kind, must never be allowed to cause a +doubt as to the heart's deep affection. Gentleness, patience, time, will +give ample opportunity for the full sunlight to break forth. Each heart +needs the other for true happiness. It must be a united life. In +"Hiawatha" we read the true relation: + + "As unto the bow the cord is, + So unto the man is woman, + Though she bends him, she obeys him; + Though she draws him, yet she follows, + Useless each without the other." + +The married life, to be supremely happy, must be thoroughly unselfish. I +was once on shipboard with a tourist who was accompanied by his wife, +but for whose opinion he seemed, even to other travelers, to show but +little respect. The voyage was a long one, and while the wife's bearing +was most gentle and kindly, his manner impressed me as thoroughly +selfish. I do not imagine that he was aware of the abrupt and strongly +personal quality of his bearing toward his refined and cultured wife. +With all his wealth he lacked that appearance of tenderness which is +more than gold or precious stones. + +No effort must be spared by either husband or wife to contribute to the +other's happiness and comfort. It does not require a long time, +especially when living together, for one to see what will please +another. This desire to please, strengthening with the days and years, +revealing itself in a thousand kindly ways, will do more than any thing +else to make the home a paradise on earth. + +Cowper gives the true secret of a beautiful and strengthening reciprocal +adaptation: + + "The kindest and the happiest pair + Will have occasion to forbear; + And something every day they live + To pity, and perchance forgive. + The love that cheers life's latest stage, + Proof against sickness and old age, + Is gentle, delicate and kind: + To faults compassionate or blind, + And will with sympathy endure + Those evils it would gladly cure." + +I believe the Germans excel all others in literature in their warm +tributes to the faithful love and devotion of their wives. Kerner, the +Suabian author, said this beautiful word in testimony of his wife after +their long years of happiness together: "She hath borne with me." Martin +Luther said of his wife, the devoted Catherine: "I would not exchange my +poverty with her for all the riches of Croesus without her." Bismarck, +the man of "blood and iron," says of his wife: "She it is who made me +what I am." + + + + +THE YESTERDAYS OF HOME. + + +Every day becomes a yesterday. Our conduct at home should be such that +the morrow will bring no regrets. Mrs. Sigourney thus describes the +changes that must come over the brightest home: + + "Not for the summer's hour alone, + When skies resplendent shine + And youth and pleasure fill the throne, + Our hearts and hands we join. + + "But for those stern and wintry days + Of sorrow, pain, and fear. + When Heaven's wise discipline doth make + Our earthly journey drear." + +It is sad enough when either a man or his wife learns first, when one or +the other is taken away by death, that there has been a life-long want +of considerate tenderness. + +Supposing the late Thomas Carlyle had been a little more attentive to +his brilliant and devoted wife during their long and lonely life in the +plain home in Cheyne Row, in Chelsea, London, such words as these, which +escaped her in a letter to a friend, could never have been said: "Those +little attentions which we women attach so much importance to he was +never in the habit of rendering to any one; his upbringing, and the +severe turn of mind he has from nature, had alike indisposed him toward +them." + +But the grim old man saw his mistake at last. It was all too late, +however. It was only after all her sacrifices had been made, and he had +written his many works, and she lay in her grave, that he awoke to a +knowledge of his long neglect. Mr. Froude says that Carlyle often said, +when there was no more opportunity for a kind word to reach his wife: "O +if I could but see her for five minutes, to assure her that I really +cared for her throughout all that; but she never knew it, she never knew +it." It is no wonder that Mr. Froude was compelled to write of Carlyle +these sad words: "For many years after she had left him, when he passed +the spot where she was last seen alive he would bare his gray head in +the wind and rain, his features wrung with unavailing sorrow." + +We are prone to take too many things for granted. You should not assume +that your thoughtless word, or harsh manner, or forgetfulness of little +and delicate attentions will have no effect, and will be duly passed by +as unmeaning. No such thing! Every word or look which is incompatible +with genuine love and respect weighs like a millstone. Gentle +attentions will be remembered, not only through the day, but through all +the days. Recently, while on a visit in Irvington-on-the-Hudson, the +widow of a celebrated publisher led me to the portrait of her lamented +husband, and stood in admiration before the magnificent painting. She +then said to me: "I esteem it the greatest honor that could be conferred +upon me to have been the wife of such a man." Could there be a grander +tribute to an attentive and devoted husband? + +In that exquisite work, _Memorials of a Quiet Life_, Mrs. Hare pays this +beautiful tribute to her husband: "I never saw any body so easy to live +with, by whom the daily petty things of life were passed over so +lightly; and then there is a charm in the _refinement_ of feeling which +is not to be told in its influence upon trifles." Mrs. Stowe, in +describing the good qualities of the Duchess of Sutherland in her own +home in Scotland, says that she excelled in _considerateness_. Paul's +advice is as beautiful as it is true, and suits young married people +perfectly. In the Revised Version it reads thus: "In lowliness of mind +each counting other better than himself; not looking each of you to his +own things, but each of you also to the things of others." Another piece +of Pauline advice is of equally useful quality: "Let us therefore follow +after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may +edify another." + +Happy are they whom death has not yet divided, and to whom it is still +granted to say such words and do such kindly acts as will prove +delightful memories when the Happy To-Days become only Yesterdays in the +Home. + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE WEDDING DAY*** + + +******* This file should be named 24171.txt or 24171.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/4/1/7/24171 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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