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| author | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-15 02:04:48 -0700 |
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| committer | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-15 02:04:48 -0700 |
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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/23390-8.txt b/23390-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3396a80 --- /dev/null +++ b/23390-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1259 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, The True Life of Betty Ireland, by Anonymous + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: The True Life of Betty Ireland + With Her Birth, Education, and Adventures. Together with Some Account of Her Elder Sister Blanch of Britain. Containing Sundry Very Curious Particulars + + +Author: Anonymous + + + +Release Date: November 9, 2007 [eBook #23390] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE TRUE LIFE OF BETTY IRELAND*** + + +E-text prepared by Robert Cicconetti, Suzan Flanagan, and the Project +Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team (http://www.pgdp.net) + + + +Transcriber's note: + + The original spelling, hyphenation, and capitalization have been + retained. However, long s's have been transcribed as modern s's, + and minor punctuation corrections have been made. + + The oe ligature is represented as [oe]. + + + + + +THE TRUE + +LIFE + +OF + +_Betty IRELAND._ + +[Price a _British_ Sixpence.] + + + +THE TRUE + +LIFE + +OF + +_Betty IRELAND._ + +WITH + +Her BIRTH, EDUCATION, and +ADVENTURES. + +Together with + +Some Account of her elder Sister _BLANCH_ +of _BRITAIN_. + +Containing, + +Sundry very curious Particulars. + +[Illustration] + +_LONDON_, Printed: + +_DUBLIN_, Reprinted for PETER WILSON, in _Dame-street_. +MDCCLIII. + + + + +[Illustration] + +THE TRUE + +LIFE + +OF + +_Betty IRELAND_. + + +It is agreed on all Hands, that _Betty Ireland_ was a younger +Daughter by a _second Venter_; let, at first, to run wild in the +Woods, cloathed with Skins and fed with Acorns; till a _famous +Hunter_ took her in his Toils, and, liking her _Countenance_, gave +her to a Son of his, a _Lad_, to bring up. The _Girl_ was born to +a good Estate, but ill tenanted, and run to waste. Her _Farms_ +neither _meared_ or bounded, her Rents never paid, as she had no +_certain_ Tenants, and had little more to claim than a Pepper-corn +Acknowledgment. She had no Relation to manage her _Demesnes_, and +could hardly be said to be possessed of any thing. + +In this Condition the young _Sportsman_ found her, was fond of her +at first, and resolved to marry her; and _happy_ had it been both +for _him_ and _her_, if he had kept his Resolution, and performed +the _Contract_. But he hankered after his elder Brother's _Estate_, +and, on his Death, suddenly got the Tenants to _attorn_ to _him_, +and basely dispossessed his _Nephew_. But instead of an _Estate_, +he got nothing but a _Law-suit_, lived in _Broils_, and dyed a +_Beggar_. Whereas had he quitted all Pretensions at home, married +_Betty_ and minded her Concerns, he had soon been in a Condition +not to envy his Brother; and, perhaps, had left a _second Family_ +little inferior in _Greatness_ to the first. + +This was the only Chance ever _Betty_ had to make a _separate_ +Fortune, set up for herself, and be _independent_ of her _Sister_. +She was ever after _beholden_ to _her_ for maintaining her +_Rights_, settling her _Affairs_, and bringing her _Tenants_ to +Reason. + +Neither _Betty_ or her Sister were yet of Age, but the Younger far +from it, and continued under such _Guardians_, as the _Elder_ +recommended, and had chosen for herself. It was natural to think +they should chiefly be employed in ordering the Affairs of +_Blanch_, and be less attentive to benefit the other. Accordingly, +from time to time, they sent _Proxies_, to let Leases, keep her +_Courts_, and _force_ Possession, where the Tenants held over. +Little, however, was done for _Betty_, though they put her _Sister_ +to great Charges; nor did she thrive in the World to any Purpose, +'till she came under the Care of a good _orderly Gentlewoman_, who +was also _Guardian_ to _Blanch_, a notable _Manager_, and very +affectionate to her _Wards_, understood their Business to a hair, +and was never to be imposed on or _over-reached_. Every thing she +put her hand to prospered, and every thing against her miscarried. + +When she first looked into _Betty_'s Affairs, she found them in a +manner desperate; her small Revenues had been embezzled by +_Agents_, Farms set to _insolvent_ Tenants, _double_ Leases made +out, huge _Fines_ taken in Hand and sunk in their own Pockets. She +was preyed upon by Vagabonds and _Outlaws_; and, to compleat her +Misfortunes, a _Foreign Count_ fell in love with her, an odious +Monster and _braggadocio_ Huffer. He swore bitterly no one else +should have her, and to support his Claim, brought in his Pocket, a +_pretended Licence_ from the _Spiritual Court_, and a Pack of +_outlandish Goths_ along with him, to take Possession of her +Freehold, and break down her Gates. But her _Sister_ generously +came in to her Assistance, repelled Force by Force, and rescued her +from a Tyrant Ravisher, built Houses for herself, and Fences for +the Tenants, and left some of her own People with her to instruct +them in Trades and Husbandry. + +She was then, it might be thought, in a Way of making herself +respected, both by her own and her _Sister_'s Tenants, and not +stand in need of any more Supplies from them; and if the _good +Woman_, her guardian, had lived to bring Matters to any Kind of +Establishment, Things had been better. But she unfortunately died, +more, however, to her _Sister_'s Disadvantage than _hers_; for the +_Guardian_ had chalked out a Track of Proceeding for _Betty_, which +she could hardly miss to follow. The _Elder_, however, was +inconsolable for the Loss of her _Guardian_, and resolved, for the +future, to manage her Concerns by the Assistance of a _Steward_, a +Sort of a Cousin to her _Guardian_ deceased, but no way allied to +her, in Worth or Understanding. He minded nothing but Hunting and +_Puppet-shews_, Feasts and Revels; and though the uncomeliest of an +_ill-favoured Race_, spent his Lady's Money in adorning his own +Person, instead of _fencing_ her Grounds. He was laughed at by one +half of the Neighbours, and despised and gulled by the other. In a +Word, he was every Way unfit for the Charge. + +His Son succeeded to the Place; he was a grave-looking, orderly +young Man, main religious, and skilled in the _Customs of the +Manor_. Both the Sisters had great Hopes their Affairs would thrive +under his Management. _Betty_'s, indeed, went on well for a while; +but, in the End, both of them had Cause to complain, and curse the +Day they had bethought them of employing a _Steward_ in their +Concerns. He was not so great a Fool as his Father; yet nothing he +put his Hand to succeeded. He was _bubbled_ by every _Neighbour_ he +dealt with, and choused by every _Tenant_ he trusted. His Word +could never be relied on, as he had always some quibble to evade +it. His Wife made him hated by the Tenants; and for a finishing +Stroke to his undoing, and compleat the Ruin of his _Wards_, he +pretended the _Steward_ had a Right to hold Courts without +_Juries_, and by his own Authority levy Money for _Repairs_. The +Tenants would not endure this Invasion on their Rights, but stoutly +opposed it; and, after a hard Struggle, got the better, turned him +out of the _Stewardship_, and some of them finding him one Day at a +_why-not_, tied him to a Rope, and hanged him in a Frolick. + +The Office of a _Steward_ was now abolished for a Time, and the +elder _Sister_ resolved to take her Affairs entirely into her _own +Hands_, and have neither _Steward_ or _Guardian_ for the future. +The Condition, indeed, of _both_ was deplorable. There had been +nothing during the _late Quarrel_, but Riot and Plunder, Rents +unpaid, and Soldiers quartered at Discretion; so that, in order to +retrieve their Affairs, it seemed necessary to put things on a _new +Footing_, and trust none but themselves to manage them. But +whatever they intended mattered but little. + +Among the Soldiers quartered on them was a bustling Knave, who from +a Corporal had come to be a Captain. He was bold as a Lion, and +_crafty_ as a Fox. He had cajoled his Soldiers to stand by him; and +pretending _Compassion_ for the Sisters, offered, or rather forced +himself, to be their _Guardian_. They only complied because they +could not help it; and he took more _rule_ over them, than ever +_Steward_ or _Guardian_ had done before him. + +He seemed, indeed, to mend Matters in the Beginning, but, in +reality, did _unrepairable_ Damage to _Blanch_, though considerable +Services to _Betty_. The Neighbours all around thought they were +thriving apace, and began to envy their Greatness. The Reason of +which was, that he always took care to have the _Girls_ well +dressed, especially when they went a _visiting_, and sent Word +before-hand (for he was d----d proud) that all the World should +_Cap_ to them as they passed along. He stinted them in every thing +else, but _spent_ all he could _rap_ and _run_ to make them _fine_. +_Betty_ was _bashful_, and kept pretty much at home; but when +_Blanch_ went _abroad_, she made a _flaming_ Appearance, _held_ up +her Head among the _Highest_, and _insulted_ the _Proudest_ with +her _Braveries_. + +But all the while Things were but _uncomfortable_ at home, though +she made such a _tearing Figure_ when abroad. Nothing to be had for +Farms, by reason the Soldiers put _in_ and _out_ as they pleased. +No _Leets_ or _Manor Courts_ were minded. No _taxing_ for _Repairs_ +and _Bounds_, but the Soldiers _taxed_ for _Contingencies_ as much +Money as they could hear any one had. So that the _Tenants_ found +themselves in a worse _Pickle_ than ever they had been under the +Management of a _Steward_. They longed for Courts and _Inquests_, +and to have every thing set on the old Bottom again. + +They heard of a _poor Boy_, a Son of the late _Steward_'s, who had +run away from the _Lands_ the Time his Father was hanged, and was +now grown up to Years of Discretion. As he had _bit_ a good while +on the Bridle, they thought he might be tamed, more careful than +his _Father_, and do them more Justice and Kindness. They brought +him home in a _Hurry_; and, as it's natural to run from one Extreme +to another, were sure they were all _made_ when they got him into +the _Stewardship_. + +It must be owned, he was a pleasant, good-humoured Fellow as ever +broke Bread, civilly behaved, and by no means wanted Capacity for +the Business. But he was _idle_ to a Degree, followed W----ng and +Horse-racing; and provided he could borrow Money enough from the +_Tenants_, or get _Presents_ from the _Neighbours_, to treat his +Wenches and buy them _Top-knots_, never heeded how _Accounts_ were +settled, how he held the _Courts_, or how he paid the Servants. +Farm-houses went to decay, and Strangers forestalled the Markets. +Few People, however, could find in their Heart to hate him. They +had a Love for him, though he was daily undoing them: For it was +always _their Humour_ to like a _boon Companion_; and instead of +crossing his Prodigality, they followed his Example, wh----ed it +away from the highest to the lowest, revelled and caroused for +_dear Blood_, and were never better pleased than when the last +Penny was a going. It became a _Fashion_ to be Bankrupt; to be +Rich, was to lose all Credit; and to be Just, was the Mark of a +Scoundrel. + +But though the _elder Sister_ was well-nigh undone by him, he did a +good Turn by _Betty_, and sent one of his _Cousins_ to take care of +her Concerns, who had a good Farm of his own under her, and +was well-beloved over the whole Estate. He kept _Leet_ and +_Court-Baron_, presented Vagabonds at the Sessions, and gave +Rewards for apprehending _Out-laws_. He set the Tenants to Work, +_lived constantly among them_, and looked himself into every thing. +_Betty_ began to thrive, and was less expensive to her _Sister_, +who had wasted huge Sums to keep her Head above Water. She stuck to +Business, and prospered mainly, 'till the _Steward_'s Brother got +himself into the Place, who played H----ll with every thing, and +brought the two Sisters to the Brink of Ruin. + +He was rash, senseless, obstinate, and ill-minded; none of the +Neighbours would _deal_ with him, or the _Tenants_ trust him, as +there was no believing one Word he said, or promise that he made; +for he had taken an Oath when he was young never to speak Truth. He +began his Vagaries by putting the _Curate_ in the _Stocks_, for +refusing to teach a new _Catechism_ of his _own Invention_. He +entered into a Plot to secure the _Elder Sister_ in the House of +Correction, and make her do Penance in the Church, under Pretence +of Carnal Conversation. He agreed to sell _Betty_ to a Cousin of +his, a great Lord in the Neighbourhood, who longed to have her for +a Waiting-woman to his Wife. So the _Tenants_ made short Work with +him, rose one and all, and sent him a-packing to his Cousin, where +he was fain to be a Serving-man, since he could not send _Betty_ to +be a Serving-maid. + +Both the _Sisters_ took an Oath never more to have a _Steward_ +again, and to abolish the very Name from among them, with a reserve +to his Daughters, who had married abroad, and were good sort of +Women, in their Way. + +Here it was that _both the Sisters_ had their Affairs put on a sure +and lasting Footing. The Rights of the _Tenants_ were narrowly +examined, and all pretended Powers of the Steward abolished by a +Rule on the _Court Manor_ Books. There was, indeed, some Difficulty +in bringing it about, and a power of Money laid out on the +Occasion. But it was well bestowed had it been twice as much. + +There was a _Stripling_ among the neighbouring _Fens_, who had +married a Daughter of the _Steward_'s, and had got the best Estate +there by the Diligence of his _Ancestors_, who were the principal +_Engineers_ in _draining_ and _banking_ the Country. They had often +borrowed Money from _Blanch_ to carry on the Work, to _stem_ the +Water when the _Fen-men_ were in despair, and prevailed on her to +send a strong _Posse_ of her Tenants to keep off some malicious +Neighbours, who would ever and anon be _boring_ Holes in the +_Dikes_, and endangered the Overflowing of all the Land they had +gained. If ever these _wretched People_ shewed any thing that +looked like _Gratitude_, it was to the Family of their _Engineers_; +and this young Man improved it to his own Advantage, and that of +_Blanch_, whom he acknowledged the Preserver of the _Fen-men_, who +deserved Preservation on no other Account than to make them +_Pack-horses_ and _Carriers_. They were, indeed, a middle Species +between Men and Brutes, and chiefly compounded of the latter. But +this young _Adventurer_ had got the Ascendant over them, and, as we +ordinarily say of vicious Horses, had made the D----l come out of +them. He _ringed_ them by the Nose, and _bled_ them with the +_Spur_, and so throughly _broke_ them (for he was a special +Horseman) that they never kicked or plunged when he was _in the +Saddle_; but, as the Nature of Beasts is, became the fonder of him +the rougher he handled them. + +When he understood that _Blanch_ and her _Sister_ were so hampered +and _Tyrannically_ treated by the _Steward_, he came to their +Assistance, supplied them with Money, which he raised from the +_Fen-men_, and fairly set them free from his Oppression and Rapine, +reversed his _Grants_, cancelled his sham Leases, restored +Possessions, _Leets_ and _Manor-Courts_, made up _Fences_ for the +Tenants, and so strongly secured their _Copyholds_, that there is +no likelihood they will ever be _ousted_ or much _disturbed_ again. +And, to crown all the Services he had done the two Sisters, +he _recommended_ them, before he parted, to the Care of a +_neighbouring Lord_, a Cousin of his own, and a _right honest Man_, +who proved a Father to _them_ and their People, defended their +_Rights_, and secured their _Properties_. + +And yet _Blanch_ could never rightly like the _Fen-man_, as she +called him, though he had done so much for her. She could not +comport herself with his Manners and his Humour, hated the Servants +he brought with him, complained they were too costly to her, though +she kept them sparingly, and even quarrelled (so exceptious are +Women) to the Cut of their Cloaths, and the Colour of their +_Liveries_. + +But _Betty Ireland_ had more Gratitude than her _Sister_, adored +him while he stayed with her, and to this Day _remembers_ him as +her _great Deliverer_, the Protector of her Life, and the Founder +of her Fortune. + +She, indeed, had double Obligations, as her Condition was more +helpless than her _Sister_'s, and she had more severely felt the +_Tyranny_ of the _Steward_, who, because she could not so readily +complain of him, had first _stripped_ her of all she had, and then +sold her to Bondage. But both _Sisters_ ought surely to reflect, +that all the Happiness, and all the Security they have since +enjoyed, has been owing to the _Friendships_ he procured them, when +he put them under the Protection of _his Cousins_; and that he has +effectually banished the _Stewards_ thereby, who would doubtless +otherwise be meddling with their Affairs, and use them worse than +ever they did before, as coming _in without Leave_, they would act +without Controul. + +But maugre all these Considerations, _Blanch_ was glad when he left +her, and ready to leap out of her Skin for joy. She thought of +nothing but Diversions, spent her _Time_ and _Money_ in _visiting_ +and _dressing_, ransacked the Globe to set off her Person, and, it +must be owned, she never looked handsomer in her Life. Wherever she +went, she was adored as an Angel, surrounded by admiring Throngs, +and Thousands hanging on her _Look_. + +But all this was empty Pageantry and too expensive Glory. She ran +herself in Debt to uphold this Appearance, mortgaged her _Estate_, +and bartered her _Stock_, for the vain Applause of flattering +Knaves, and scoundrel _Tradesmen_. It was Time to pull in, and keep +a Hank in the Hand. She saw her Folly, and doffed her _Gear_. It +was better _go plain_ than run in Debt for Finery; and enough she +had to do to pay the Debts she had contracted in her _Fit of_ +Vanity. + +_Betty_ all the while was minding Business at home, and her Affairs +prospered amain. Her _Tenants_ became industrious, and her _Estate_ +improved; yet she never thought herself sufficiently _secure_ till +she got under the new _Protection_ her _Deliverer_ had provided. +Her Situation is particular. She has a strange Mixture of People on +her Estate, who are always at Daggers drawing with one another, and +a mighty Hindrance to her Business. They are _Whites_, _Blacks_, +and _Black_ and _White_. The _Whites_ only are allowed to be +_Land-holders_; but the _last_, by hiding half the Face when they +converse with her, pass for _Whites_, and make good their _Titles_. +The first are dreadfully maligned by the _Blacks_, who are +unhappily the more numerous, _lay old Claims_ to her _Lands_, and +are ever watching for an Opportunity to make a _Riot_, and take +forcible Possession. 'Till now they were too much favoured by her +_Sister_, which checked the Industry of her Farmers. + +But when they found they had nothing to fear, either at home or +abroad, they began in earnest to improve _their Concerns_, as they +were sure they were working for themselves, and in no Danger of +being dispossessed, by Virtue of _chimerical_ Claims, and +_Antediluvian Proprietors_. + +The _Blacks_, indeed, immediately made a _Riot_ on this new +Settlement, but could not get Possession; and, lately, a _young +Jackanapes_ pretended a _Right_ to be _Steward_ to _both Sisters_, +by Virtue of a _Patent_ he had got from the last _Steward_, as if +he had a Right to dispose of a _Place_ he had been turned out of +himself. He came on the Lands, however, with a _bloody-minded_ Crew +of _skirtless_ Vagabonds, drove off the Cattle, robbed the +_Hen-roosts_, and _swaggered_ at so _unmerciful_ a Rate, that +_Blanch_ was frightened out of her Senses, and was fain to _send_ +for a Dram of _Gin_ to restore her Spirits. But if she was +frightened, her _Guardian_ was not, and had a _Month's Mind_ to +find out the _Varlet_ in Person, and tread him under his Feet. +But as he could not leave the _Hall-house_ where the _Court +was sitting_, he sent a _Lad_ of his own to take Account of him, +who did the _Business tightly_. He was a _well-mettled Blade_, +and _Steel_ to the _Back_. He came up with him at the Corner +of a Farmer's Yard, where he gave him and his _Desperados_ a +wofull Drubbing, kicked him i'the A----e, _soused_ him in the +_Horse-pond_, which he swam over to save his Bacon, and looked so +miserably scared in his Passage, that it's sure he'll never _try +the Ford_ again. + +For a good while before this Alarm happened (which proved nothing +but a _Bugbear_) both the _Sisters_ had a fair Opportunity of +minding their Concerns, and getting above the World. _Blanch_ might +have paid her Debts, and had Money to the fore; but it was ever her +Misfortune to be _ill-served_ by almost all she employed. Never, +sure, had Lady so _unhandy_ a Pack about her, and, indeed, it was +impossible it could well be otherwise; for she did not chuse her +_Servants_ because they were _fit_ for this, or that _Office_, but +because they asked, and would have it, or be horribly out of +Humour else, would make a Noise and _Uproar_ at every _Court-Leet_, +terrify the _Tenants_ at every _Ale-house_, with strange Stories of +Designs on their _Copy-holds_, and wicked _Plots_ just ready to +begin; 'till they turned their Heads, and set them madding. So that +the poor Lady was fain to _take them in_, to keep Peace at Home, +and to pay them Wages for not doing her Business. The Consequence +of which was, she had _Clerks_ could neither write or read; Book, +and Cash-keepers, that could not _count_ or cast up, or ever heard +of a _Ballance_ in their Lives. And so ridiculous was her +Compliance in this Point, that she had once a Lady to curry her +Horse, and a _Fishmonger_ for a _Grass Bailiff_. + +'Tis true, she would often change her Servants, but not a _Barrel +the better Herring_. If she got one, by chance, knew any thing of +his Business, the _rest_ never left boddering her 'till they had +him out. It should never be said they demeaned themselves so much +as to serve with one, who would spoil every thing by his +_Rashness_, and disgrace the Service by his _Ignorance_. Now, by +_Rashness_ they meant _resenting Insults_ and _Injuries_ done their +Lady; and by _Ignorance_, not knowing how to _buy_ and _sell_, and +live by the _Loss_. So that, all Things considered, it were a +Marvel her Affairs should be in better Plight than they are, or her +Debts be paid with more Ease and Expedition. + +_Betty_, in the mean time, is come to an opulent Fortune, has her +Rents well paid, and her Farms daily improving, and would improve +ten times more, if her _Sister_ could see her own Advantage so far, +as to give her that Encouragement she is daily giving to +_Strangers_, who give her nothing in Return but their Envy and +Ill-will. But as it is, _Betty_'s in a good Way, and makes the most +of a bad Market. And since she must not work for her _Sister_, she +works for herself. + +It had been a Custom of hers to buy every thing she wanted from her +_Sister's Tenants_ and _Tradesmen_, though they used her +abominably, and put off upon her the worst Goods they had. If the +Farmer had damaged Hops, he sold them to _Betty Ireland_; if his +Malt was blinked, away it went to her; and the _Pothecary_ thought +his decayed Drugs good enough for _Betty_, and instead of burning +them, laid them by for her, as tho' she were not a Christian, or +had the same Inside as her Sister. + +_Betty_ could not help this contemptuous Treatment, as she had +nothing she wanted at Home, by reason of her Laziness, though all +Materials in abundance were at hand. 'Tis incredible to relate, +but, at the Time I am speaking of, certain Fact, on her whole +Estate there was not one to be found could make a Buckle for her +Shoe, or a Pin to her Sleeve; a Pot, a Spit, or any Utensil to cook +her Victuals, might as well be found among the _Tartars_ as with +her. She took every thing from her _Sister_ at what Price she +pleased, unsight unseen, and bought the _Pig in the Poke_. +Necessity roused her from Stupidity and Sloth, she encouraged her +Tenants to apply to Trades, assured them of a ready Market, and +rewarded those that did their Work the best; and, at present, has +every thing within herself. And tho' it must be owned a very +unreasonable, and _not to be endured_ Instance of her Impudence, +she proposes to dress in her own Manufactures, and does not mean +to trouble her _Sister_ any longer for _cast Cloaths_ and +_unmerchantable_ commodities. But in every other Respect, she +desires to keep up a good Correspondence with her, and is daily +doing every thing in her Power, to gain her Favour, and procure her +Regards. Whatever she can spare from her ordinary Expences, she, in +some Shape or other, makes a Present of to her _Sister_, in +Acknowledgement for Services done, and Kindnesses receiv'd in her +_Minority_. Has _Blanch_ a Favourite whom she cannot readily +provide for, a poor Relation on hand, or Retainer to the Family, a +broken Projector, or cast Serving-man; she has no more to do but +acquaint _Betty_ with it, who quickly puts him on a _creditable +Pension_, and never refuses, though she run herself in Debt by it. +Is _Blanch_ engaged in a Brangle with her _Tenants_, (who, by the +way, are cursedly litigious) and hard put to it for Hands to do +her Business, _Betty_ makes an Offer of sending her People to help +her, and maintaining them abroad at her own Charges. Does a Tenant +of _Blanch_ come to favour her with a Visit, she receives him with +Hospitality and Respect, and would sacrifice her Fortune to make +his Entertainment agreeable. + +If all this Complaisance should fail of its Effect, and not so +succeed as to keep _Blanch_ in good Humour, 'tis easy to say where +the Fault must lie, and from what Causes her Discontents arise. + +In the first Place, it has ever been the Fate of her _Domesticks_ +to be invincibly hated by her _Tenants_ without Difference +or Distinction, (for, to say Truth, they have no Head for +_Distingo_'s:) There is but one Thing in the World they hate more, +and that is _Betty Ireland_. Now, the _Servants_ bear hard on +_Betty_, to curry Favour with her Sister's _Tenants_, who would go +half Way to the D----l to have _Betty_ d----d, are for ever cursing +her, and laying all their Misfortunes at her Door. If the +_Clothier_ loses his Business, or has his Goods on Hand, 'tis _all +'long_ of _Betty_: Wheat bears no Price, for _Betty_ has glutted +the Market. Whereas, in Fact, they never keep the same Markets. But +they forget, they are all so idle and debauched, such gobling and +drinking Rascals, and so expensive in _blew Beer_, that they are +forced to put a double Price on every thing goes to Market; so that +no Body will deal with them. Indeed, if it incenses them, that +_Betty_ won't buy, burn her _own Goods_ and take off _theirs_, they +must e'en turn the Buckle behind. _Blanch_ will be wiser, for her +own sake, than lay Stresses on her _Sister_, from whom she gets +more than _by all the World beside_, only to humour a Set of +grumbling Churls, who don't know what they would be at; and so +extremely senseless, that it's Matter of Wonder, their Oxen +don't ride them to the Market, and sell them. 'Tis true, a +_Linen-weaver_, one of _Blanch_'s Tenants, prevailed on her lately +to withdraw some Encouragement she had given _Betty_, and transfer +it to a _Stranger_. But that was owing to bad Advice given her, by +a _Clerk_ she has since turned off, and sent a stroling among +_Brandy-shops_ and _Ale-houses_, to _backbite_ his _Lady_ for want +of other Employment. + +Another Cause of _Blanch_'s Dislike to her _Sister_ was, a Fright +she took, when she was just _delivered_, at some ill-looking +People, who came from _Betty_'s Lands, and appeared under her +Window. There's no doubt but _Blanch_ has as much Courage as any +genteel Lady ought to have, and must have been in a Fit of low +Spirits when she, and all her Tenants from her, took so senseless +an alarm, as to run distracted thro' Fear of half a Dozen Fellows +cutting all their Throats in one Night, who were ready to run +through Fire and Water for Fear of being hang'd themselves; yet +certain it is, from this ridiculous Incident, and from nothing +else, can be derived, that universal Hatred shewn her by _Blanch's +Tenants_, though they have never seen, spoken with, or had any +Dealings whatever, either with _Betty_ or her _Tenants_. People +must be _generous_, as well as _brave_, to forgive those that +frighten them. + +There's another Cause of Dislike among such as have Dealings with +_Betty_'s Tenants who come on Business, or to visit her _Sister_, +that they run in debt with them, and don't pay. So do all their +Neighbours, for that matter; but they complain of none but _Betty_, +though it is very well known they make ample Reprisals on her; and +_one Bite_ of theirs, is worth a hundred of _Betty_'s, who are none +but such as are despised at home, and can get neither Credit or +Company there; for _Betty_ is not yet arrived to that Degree of +Politeness, as to court and caress _Highway-men_ and _Sharpers_, +only because _they keep good Company_, and are Gentlemen of _nice +Honour_, but sincerely wishes her _Sister_ to hang them all. + +The last I shall mention (and, to be sure, a wise Cause of Dislike +it is) _Betty_ goes once, at least, every Year to pay her Sister a +Visit, carries all her Money, puts on her best Cloaths, lives high +as long as she has a Penny left. This vexes her _Sister_, and many +a _Slut_ and _Flirt_ she calls _Betty_, at the very time she is +throwing away her Money with both Hands for the Tradesmen and +Shoeboys to scramble up. They are both Fools; _One_ for shewing +this Contempt, and the other for putting herself in the Way of it. + +It is wished, but probably in vain, that the two _Sisters_ would +come to a better Understanding. They that have considered the true +Interest of both, see plainly that the _elder_, and consequently +the _younger_, must be shortly undone, if these Bickerings and ill +Offices continue. So _unnatural_ a Quarrel between near Relations +must make them despised by all the _Neighbours_ around, who are +hourly taking the Advantage of it, and _profiting_ themselves by +the Hindrance the _Sisters_ give to each other. But their Manners +and Disposition are so different, that it's next to impossible they +should ever love one another; tho', for mutual Interest, and to +make that Figure in the Eye of the World which two _Ladies_ of +their Distinction and Fortune ought to assume, their Friends may +agree to promote _jointly_ their Interests, and never heed how +peevish and untoward _either_ of them may be, or pay any Regard to +the _fanciful Aversions_, and ungrounded Jealousies, which are +always inseparable from a female Breast. + +Tho' in this History I have rather copied the _chaste Brevity_ of +_Cornelius Nepos_, than the diffused and _chatty_ Eloquence of +_Plutarch_; I shall conclude, in Imitation of the latter, with a +Description of the two _Ladies_, their Persons, Manners, and +Inclinations; and, in drawing the _Parallel_, with Freedom +represent, their Vices as well as _Vertues_, their Faults as well +as their Perfections. + +_Blanch_ is by much the taller, neat, timbersome, and well made, a +lively Look and a sprightly Air. _Betty_'s Face is full out as +_handsome_ as her _Sister_'s, tho' not so regular, has more +_variety_ and striking Beauties, and, with equal _Dressing_, would +appear more lovely than the other; but she's a _Slattern_ in her +_Dress_. + +As to their _Tempers_, _Pride_ is the prevailing Passion of the +_first_, and _Vanity_ of the _second_; from which naturally, and +unavoidably arises, every observable Character of their Mind and +Manners. _Blanch_'s Pride makes her selfish and reserved, +contemptuous, if not rough, in her Behaviour. _Betty_'s Vanity +makes her _open_ and communicative, fond of _shewing herself_ on +all Occasions, complaisant, and caressing, to a Degree of Flattery. +As _Blanch_ does not know what it is to have Love or Affection for +any one but herself, so she expects it from no one, but claims a +great deal of Respect. _Betty_ doesn't know what Respect for her +means, but to gain her Love and Liking would part with all she had. +_Blanch_ is frugal in the main, not very hospitable, and seldom +lavish but in private Pleasures. _Betty_ is hospitable to +Prodigality, lavish to Folly, and thinks nothing a Pleasure that +others don't share in. Hence it comes, that the first loves her +Money above all things, the _second_ less than any thing she has +any value for at all; that one is anxious to _get_, the _other_ in +haste to _spend_. _Blanch_ has a good Understanding, but does not +_know the World_, and is commonly _choused_ by her Neighbours. +_Betty_ has no Opportunity of _knowing the World_, as her _Sister_ +won't let her go much abroad or converse with the _Neighbours_; she +has but little Experience, and, to be sure, is not very _wise_, but +is the quickest in the World at finding out _a Fool_. The _elder_ +is _cautious_, and hides carefully every Fault she is conscious of; +the _younger_ is not conscious of any Fault of Folly whatever; so +they all come out in her _communicative Fits_, which seize her as +often as she gets a Stranger to talk to. _Blanch_ is the more +censorious, and _Betty_ the greater Liar. + +If either of the _Ladies_ think the Picture not like, let them call +to mind the Story of a famous Painter, who had drawn the Portrait +of a young Man, whostood very well with himself, but didn't please +him. "You have drawn me," said he, "exactly the _Reverse_ of every +thing I am." _If it be so_, replied the Painter, _that must be your +Likeness_, and set the Picture on the Head. + +_FINIS._ + + + + +BOOKS Printed for, and Sold by, PETER WILSON, in _Dame-street_. + + +The Spectator. In 8 Volumes. Price 16s. 6d. + +---- The same. Volume 9th. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at <a href = "http://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a></pre> +<p>Title: The True Life of Betty Ireland</p> +<p> With Her Birth, Education, and Adventures. Together with Some Account of Her Elder Sister Blanch of Britain. Containing Sundry Very Curious Particulars</p> +<p>Author: Anonymous</p> +<p>Release Date: November 9, 2007 [eBook #23390]</p> +<p>Language: English</p> +<p>Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1</p> +<p>***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE TRUE LIFE OF BETTY IRELAND***</p> +<p> </p> +<h3>E-text prepared by Robert Cicconetti, Suzan Flanagan,<br /> + and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team<br /> + (http://www.pgdp.net)</h3> +<p> </p> +<div class='center'> +<p><br /></p> +<table border="2" class="bbox" cellpadding="10" cellspacing="2" summary="Transcriber's Notes"> +<tr><td align='center'><h2>TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE</h2> +<p>The original spelling, hyphenation, and capitalization have been retained. However, +long s’s have been transcribed as modern s’s, and minor punctuation +corrections have been made on pages 36, 37, and 39.</p> +</td></tr> +</table></div> +<p> </p> +<hr class="full" /> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> + +<div class="center pad2"> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/i004a.png" width="400" height="43" alt="" title="" /> +</div> +<p class="fm12">T H E T R U E</p> +<p class="fm22">L I F E</p> +<p class="fm12">OF</p> + +<p class="fm18"><i>Betty I R E L A N D.</i></p> +<div class="figcenter pad2" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/i004b.png" width="400" height="40" alt="" title="" /> +</div> +<p class="fm10">[Price a <i>British</i> Sixpence.] +</p> +</div> +<hr /> + +<div class="center"> +<p class="fm12">T H E T R U E</p> +<p class="fm22">L I F E</p> +<p class="fm12">OF</p> + +<p class="fm18"><i>Betty I R E L A N D.</i></p> +<p class="fm12">WITH</p> +<div class="pad3"> +<p class="fm14">Her <span class="smcap">B i r t h, E d u c a t i o n,</span> and<br /> +<span class="smcap">A d v e n t u r e s</span>.</p> +</div> +<p class="fm8">Together with</p> +<div class="pad3"> +<p class="fm12">Some Account of her elder Sister <i>BLANCH</i><br /> +of <i>BRITAIN</i>.</p> +</div> +<p class="fm8">Containing,</p> +<div class="pad3"> +<p class="fm10">Sundry very curious Particulars.</p> +</div> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 250px;"> +<img src="images/i006.png" width="250" height="168" alt="" title="" /> +</div> +<div class="pad3"> +<p class="fm12"><i>LONDON</i>, Printed:</p> +</div> +<p class="fm10"><i>DUBLIN</i>, Reprinted for <span class="smcap">Peter Wilson</span>, in <i>Dame-street</i>.<br /> +MDCCLIII.</p> +</div> + +<hr /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[5]</a></span></p> + +<div class="center"> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/i008.png" width="500" height="184" alt="" title="" /> +</div></div> + +<div class="center"><div class="pad"> +<p class="fm12">T H E T R U E</p></div> +<p class="fm22">L I F E</p> + +<p class="fm12">OF</p> +<p class="fm18"><i>Betty I R E L A N D.</i></p> +</div> + + +<p>It is agreed on all Hands, that <i>Betty Ireland</i> +was a younger Daughter by a <i>second +Venter</i>; let, at first, to run wild in the +Woods, cloathed with Skins and fed with Acorns; +till a <i>famous Hunter</i> took her in his +Toils, and, liking her <i>Countenance</i>, gave her to +a Son of his, a <i>Lad</i>, to bring up. The <i>Girl</i><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[6]</a></span> +was born to a good Estate, but ill tenanted, +and run to waste. Her <i>Farms</i> neither <i>meared</i> +or bounded, her Rents never paid, as she had +no <i>certain</i> Tenants, and had little more to claim +than a Pepper-corn Acknowledgment. She +had no Relation to manage her <i>Demesnes</i>, and +could hardly be said to be possessed of any +thing.</p> + +<p>In this Condition the young <i>Sportsman</i> found +her, was fond of her at first, and resolved to +marry her; and <i>happy</i> had it been both for +<i>him</i> and <i>her</i>, if he had kept his Resolution, +and performed the <i>Contract</i>. But he hankered +after his elder Brother’s <i>Estate</i>, and, on his +Death, suddenly got the Tenants to <i>attorn</i> to +<i>him</i>, and basely dispossessed his <i>Nephew</i>. But +instead of an <i>Estate</i>, he got nothing but a +<i>Law-suit</i>, lived in <i>Broils</i>, and dyed a <i>Beggar</i>. +Whereas had he quitted all Pretensions at home, +married <i>Betty</i> and minded her Concerns, he +had soon been in a Condition not to envy his +Brother; and, perhaps, had left a <i>second Family</i><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[7]</a></span> +little inferior in <i>Greatness</i> to the first.</p> + +<p>This was the only Chance ever <i>Betty</i> had +to make a <i>separate</i> Fortune, set up for herself, +and be <i>independent</i> of her <i>Sister</i>. She was ever +after <i>beholden</i> to <i>her</i> for maintaining her <i>Rights</i>, +settling her <i>Affairs</i>, and bringing her <i>Tenants</i> +to Reason.</p> + +<p>Neither <i>Betty</i> or her Sister were yet of +Age, but the Younger far from it, and continued +under such <i>Guardians</i>, as the <i>Elder</i> recommended, +and had chosen for herself. It was +natural to think they should chiefly be employed +in ordering the Affairs of <i>Blanch</i>, and +be less attentive to benefit the other. Accordingly, +from time to time, they sent <i>Proxies</i>, +to let Leases, keep her <i>Courts</i>, and <i>force</i> Possession, +where the Tenants held over. Little, +however, was done for <i>Betty</i>, though they put +her <i>Sister</i> to great Charges; nor did she thrive +in the World to any Purpose, ’till she came +under the Care of a good <i>orderly Gentlewoman</i>, +who was also <i>Guardian</i> to <i>Blanch</i>, a notable<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[8]</a></span> +<i>Manager</i>, and very affectionate to her <i>Wards</i>, +understood their Business to a hair, and was +never to be imposed on or <i>over-reached</i>. Every +thing she put her hand to prospered, and every +thing against her miscarried.</p> + +<p>When she first looked into <i>Betty</i>’s Affairs, +she found them in a manner desperate; her +small Revenues had been embezzled by <i>Agents</i>, +Farms set to <i>insolvent</i> Tenants, <i>double</i> Leases +made out, huge <i>Fines</i> taken in Hand and sunk +in their own Pockets. She was preyed upon by +Vagabonds and <i>Outlaws</i>; and, to compleat her +Misfortunes, a <i>Foreign Count</i> fell in love with +her, an odious Monster and <i>braggadocio</i> Huffer. +He swore bitterly no one else should have her, +and to support his Claim, brought in his Pocket, +a <i>pretended Licence</i> from the <i>Spiritual Court</i>, +and a Pack of <i>outlandish Goths</i> along with him, +to take Possession of her Freehold, and break +down her Gates. But her <i>Sister</i> generously +came in to her Assistance, repelled Force by +Force, and rescued her from a Tyrant Ravisher, +built Houses for herself, and Fences for the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[9]</a></span> +Tenants, and left some of her own People with +her to instruct them in Trades and Husbandry.</p> + +<p>She was then, it might be thought, in a +Way of making herself respected, both by her +own and her <i>Sister</i>’s Tenants, and not stand in +need of any more Supplies from them; and if +the <i>good Woman</i>, her guardian, had lived to +bring Matters to any Kind of Establishment, +Things had been better. But she unfortunately +died, more, however, to her <i>Sister</i>’s Disadvantage +than <i>hers</i>; for the <i>Guardian</i> had chalked +out a Track of Proceeding for <i>Betty</i>, which she +could hardly miss to follow. The <i>Elder</i>, however, +was inconsolable for the Loss of her <i>Guardian</i>, +and resolved, for the future, to manage +her Concerns by the Assistance of a <i>Steward</i>, a +Sort of a Cousin to her <i>Guardian</i> deceased, but +no way allied to her, in Worth or Understanding. +He minded nothing but Hunting and +<i>Puppet-shews</i>, Feasts and Revels; and though +the uncomeliest of an <i>ill-favoured Race</i>, spent his +Lady’s Money in adorning his own Person, instead<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[10]</a></span> +of <i>fencing</i> her Grounds. He was laughed +at by one half of the Neighbours, and despised +and gulled by the other. In a Word, he was +every Way unfit for the Charge.</p> + +<p>His Son succeeded to the Place; he was a +grave-looking, orderly young Man, main religious, +and skilled in the <i>Customs of the Manor</i>. +Both the Sisters had great Hopes their Affairs +would thrive under his Management. <i>Betty</i>’s, +indeed, went on well for a while; but, in the +End, both of them had Cause to complain, +and curse the Day they had bethought them +of employing a <i>Steward</i> in their Concerns. He +was not so great a Fool as his Father; yet nothing +he put his Hand to succeeded. He was +<i>bubbled</i> by every <i>Neighbour</i> he dealt with, and +choused by every <i>Tenant</i> he trusted. His Word +could never be relied on, as he had always +some quibble to evade it. His Wife made him +hated by the Tenants; and for a finishing Stroke +to his undoing, and compleat the Ruin of his +<i>Wards</i>, he pretended the <i>Steward</i> had a Right +to hold Courts without <i>Juries</i>, and by his own<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[11]</a></span> +Authority levy Money for <i>Repairs</i>. The Tenants +would not endure this Invasion on their +Rights, but stoutly opposed it; and, after a +hard Struggle, got the better, turned him out +of the <i>Stewardship</i>, and some of them finding +him one Day at a <i>why-not</i>, tied him to a Rope, +and hanged him in a Frolick.</p> + +<p>The Office of a <i>Steward</i> was now abolished +for a Time, and the elder <i>Sister</i> resolved to take +her Affairs entirely into her <i>own Hands</i>, and +have neither <i>Steward</i> or <i>Guardian</i> for the future. +The Condition, indeed, of <i>both</i> was deplorable. +There had been nothing during the +<i>late Quarrel</i>, but Riot and Plunder, Rents unpaid, +and Soldiers quartered at Discretion; so +that, in order to retrieve their Affairs, it seemed +necessary to put things on a <i>new Footing</i>, and +trust none but themselves to manage them. But +whatever they intended mattered but little.</p> + +<p>Among the Soldiers quartered on them was +a bustling Knave, who from a Corporal had +come to be a Captain. He was bold as a Lion,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[12]</a></span> +and <i>crafty</i> as a Fox. He had cajoled his Soldiers +to stand by him; and pretending <i>Compassion</i> +for the Sisters, offered, or rather forced +himself, to be their <i>Guardian</i>. They only complied +because they could not help it; and he +took more <i>rule</i> over them, than ever <i>Steward</i> or +<i>Guardian</i> had done before him.</p> + +<p>He seemed, indeed, to mend Matters in the +Beginning, but, in reality, did <i>unrepairable</i> Damage +to <i>Blanch</i>, though considerable Services +to <i>Betty</i>. The Neighbours all around thought +they were thriving apace, and began to envy +their Greatness. The Reason of which was, that +he always took care to have the <i>Girls</i> well +dressed, especially when they went a <i>visiting</i>, +and sent Word before-hand (for he was <span class="nb">d——d</span> +proud) that all the World should <i>Cap</i> to them +as they passed along. He stinted them in every +thing else, but <i>spent</i> all he could <i>rap</i> and <i>run</i> to +make them <i>fine</i>. <i>Betty</i> was <i>bashful</i>, and kept +pretty much at home; but when <i>Blanch</i> went +<i>abroad</i>, she made a <i>flaming</i> Appearance, <i>held</i> +up her Head among the <i>Highest</i>, and <i>insulted</i><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[13]</a></span> +the <i>Proudest</i> with her <i>Braveries</i>.</p> + +<p>But all the while Things were but <i>uncomfortable</i> +at home, though she made such a <i>tearing +Figure</i> when abroad. Nothing to be had for +Farms, by reason the Soldiers put <i>in</i> and <i>out</i> as +they pleased. No <i>Leets</i> or <i>Manor Courts</i> were +minded. No <i>taxing</i> for <i>Repairs</i> and <i>Bounds</i>, +but the Soldiers <i>taxed</i> for <i>Contingencies</i> as much +Money as they could hear any one had. So +that the <i>Tenants</i> found themselves in a worse +<i>Pickle</i> than ever they had been under the +Management of a <i>Steward</i>. They longed for +Courts and <i>Inquests</i>, and to have every thing +set on the old Bottom again.</p> + +<p>They heard of a <i>poor Boy</i>, a Son of the late +<i>Steward</i>’s, who had run away from the <i>Lands</i> +the Time his Father was hanged, and was now +grown up to Years of Discretion. As he had +<i>bit</i> a good while on the Bridle, they thought he +might be tamed, more careful than his <i>Father</i>, +and do them more Justice and Kindness. They +brought him home in a <i>Hurry</i>; and, as it’s natural<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[14]</a></span> +to run from one Extreme to another, +were sure they were all <i>made</i> when they got him +into the <i>Stewardship</i>.</p> + +<p>It must be owned, he was a pleasant, good-humoured +Fellow as ever broke Bread, civilly +behaved, and by no means wanted Capacity for +the Business. But he was <i>idle</i> to a Degree, followed +<span class="nb">W——ng</span> and Horse-racing; and provided +he could borrow Money enough from the +<i>Tenants</i>, or get <i>Presents</i> from the <i>Neighbours</i>, to +treat his Wenches and buy them <i>Top-knots</i>, never +heeded how <i>Accounts</i> were settled, how he +held the <i>Courts</i>, or how he paid the Servants. +Farm-houses went to decay, and Strangers forestalled +the Markets. Few People, however, +could find in their Heart to hate him. They +had a Love for him, though he was daily undoing +them: For it was always <i>their Humour</i> to +like a <i>boon Companion</i>; and instead of crossing +his Prodigality, they followed his Example, +<span class="nb">wh——ed</span> it away from the highest to the lowest, +revelled and caroused for <i>dear Blood</i>, and were +never better pleased than when the last Penny<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[15]</a></span> +was a going. It became a <i>Fashion</i> to be Bankrupt; +to be Rich, was to lose all Credit; and to +be Just, was the Mark of a Scoundrel.</p> + +<p>But though the <i>elder Sister</i> was well-nigh +undone by him, he did a good Turn by <i>Betty</i>, +and sent one of his <i>Cousins</i> to take care of her +Concerns, who had a good Farm of his own +under her, and was well-beloved over the whole +Estate. He kept <i>Leet</i> and <i>Court-Baron</i>, presented +Vagabonds at the Sessions, and gave Rewards +for apprehending <i>Out-laws</i>. He set the +Tenants to Work, <i>lived constantly among them</i>, +and looked himself into every thing. <i>Betty</i> began +to thrive, and was less expensive to her +<i>Sister</i>, who had wasted huge Sums to keep her +Head above Water. She stuck to Business, and +prospered mainly, ’till the <i>Steward</i>’s Brother got +himself into the Place, who played <span class="nb">H——ll</span> with +every thing, and brought the two Sisters to the +Brink of Ruin.</p> + +<p>He was rash, senseless, obstinate, and ill-minded;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[16]</a></span> +none of the Neighbours would <i>deal</i> +with him, or the <i>Tenants</i> trust him, as there +was no believing one Word he said, or promise +that he made; for he had taken an Oath when +he was young never to speak Truth. He began +his Vagaries by putting the <i>Curate</i> in the <i>Stocks</i>, +for refusing to teach a new <i>Catechism</i> of his <i>own +Invention</i>. He entered into a Plot to secure the +<i>Elder Sister</i> in the House of Correction, and +make her do Penance in the Church, under +Pretence of Carnal Conversation. He agreed to +sell <i>Betty</i> to a Cousin of his, a great Lord in the +Neighbourhood, who longed to have her for a +Waiting-woman to his Wife. So the <i>Tenants</i> +made short Work with him, rose one and all, +and sent him a-packing to his Cousin, where he +was fain to be a Serving-man, since he could +not send <i>Betty</i> to be a Serving-maid.</p> + +<p>Both the <i>Sisters</i> took an Oath never more to +have a <i>Steward</i> again, and to abolish the very +Name from among them, with a reserve to his +Daughters, who had married abroad, and were<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[17]</a></span> +good sort of Women, in their Way.</p> + +<p>Here it was that <i>both the Sisters</i> had their +Affairs put on a sure and lasting Footing. The +Rights of the <i>Tenants</i> were narrowly examined, +and all pretended Powers of the Steward abolished +by a Rule on the <i>Court Manor</i> Books. +There was, indeed, some Difficulty in bringing +it about, and a power of Money laid out on the +Occasion. But it was well bestowed had it been +twice as much.</p> + +<p>There was a <i>Stripling</i> among the neighbouring +<i>Fens</i>, who had married a Daughter of +the <i>Steward</i>’s, and had got the best Estate there +by the Diligence of his <i>Ancestors</i>, who were +the principal <i>Engineers</i> in <i>draining</i> and <i>banking</i> +the Country. They had often borrowed Money +from <i>Blanch</i> to carry on the Work, to <i>stem</i> +the Water when the <i>Fen-men</i> were in despair, +and prevailed on her to send a strong <i>Posse</i> of +her Tenants to keep off some malicious Neighbours, +who would ever and anon be <i>boring</i> +Holes in the <i>Dikes</i>, and endangered the Overflowing<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[18]</a></span> +of all the Land they had gained. If +ever these <i>wretched People</i> shewed any thing that +looked like <i>Gratitude</i>, it was to the Family of +their <i>Engineers</i>; and this young Man improved +it to his own Advantage, and that of <i>Blanch</i>, +whom he acknowledged the Preserver of the +<i>Fen-men</i>, who deserved Preservation on no other +Account than to make them <i>Pack-horses</i> and +<i>Carriers</i>. They were, indeed, a middle Species +between Men and Brutes, and chiefly compounded +of the latter. But this young <i>Adventurer</i> +had got the Ascendant over them, and, +as we ordinarily say of vicious Horses, had made +the <span class="nb">D——l</span> come out of them. He <i>ringed</i> them +by the Nose, and <i>bled</i> them with the <i>Spur</i>, and +so throughly<!--Page 18: sic--> <i>broke</i> them (for he was a special +Horseman) that they never kicked or plunged +when he was <i>in the Saddle</i>; but, as the Nature +of Beasts is, became the fonder of him the +rougher he handled them.</p> + +<p>When he understood that <i>Blanch</i> and her +<i>Sister</i> were so hampered and <i>Tyrannically</i> treated +by the <i>Steward</i>, he came to their Assistance, supplied<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[19]</a></span> +them with Money, which he raised from +the <i>Fen-men</i>, and fairly set them free from his +Oppression and Rapine, reversed his <i>Grants</i>, cancelled +his sham Leases, restored Possessions, +<i>Leets</i> and <i>Manor-Courts</i>, made up <i>Fences</i> for the +Tenants, and so strongly secured their <i>Copyholds</i>, +that there is no likelihood they will ever be +<i>ousted</i> or much <i>disturbed</i> again. And, to crown +all the Services he had done the two Sisters, +he <i>recommended</i> them, before he parted, to the +Care of a <i>neighbouring Lord</i>, a Cousin of his own, +and a <i>right honest Man</i>, who proved a Father to +<i>them</i> and their People, defended their <i>Rights</i>, +and secured their <i>Properties</i>.</p> + +<p>And yet <i>Blanch</i> could never rightly like the +<i>Fen-man</i>, as she called him, though he had +done so much for her. She could not comport +herself with his Manners and his Humour, +hated the Servants he brought with him, complained +they were too costly to her, though she +kept them sparingly, and even quarrelled (so +exceptious are Women) to the Cut of their<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[20]</a></span> +Cloaths, and the Colour of their <i>Liveries</i>.</p> + +<p>But <i>Betty Ireland</i> had more Gratitude than +her <i>Sister</i>, adored him while he stayed with her, +and to this Day <i>remembers</i> him as her <i>great Deliverer</i>, +the Protector of her Life, and the +Founder of her Fortune.</p> + +<p>She, indeed, had double Obligations, as +her Condition was more helpless than her <i>Sister</i>’s, +and she had more severely felt the <i>Tyranny</i> of +the <i>Steward</i>, who, because she could not so readily +complain of him, had first <i>stripped</i> her of +all she had, and then sold her to Bondage. But +both <i>Sisters</i> ought surely to reflect, that all the +Happiness, and all the Security they have since +enjoyed, has been owing to the <i>Friendships</i> he +procured them, when he put them under the Protection +of <i>his Cousins</i>; and that he has effectually +banished the <i>Stewards</i> thereby, who would +doubtless otherwise be meddling with their Affairs, +and use them worse than ever they did +before, as coming <i>in without Leave</i>, they would<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[21]</a></span> +act without Controul.</p> + +<p>But maugre all these Considerations, <i>Blanch</i> +was glad when he left her, and ready to leap +out of her Skin for joy. She thought of nothing +but Diversions, spent her <i>Time</i> and <i>Money</i> in +<i>visiting</i> and <i>dressing</i>, ransacked the Globe to set +off her Person, and, it must be owned, she never +looked handsomer in her Life. Wherever +she went, she was adored as an Angel, surrounded +by admiring Throngs, and Thousands +hanging on her <i>Look</i>.</p> + +<p>But all this was empty Pageantry and too expensive +Glory. She ran herself in Debt to uphold +this Appearance, mortgaged her <i>Estate</i>, and bartered +her <i>Stock</i>, for the vain Applause of flattering +Knaves, and scoundrel <i>Tradesmen</i>. It was +Time to pull in, and keep a Hank in the Hand. +She saw her Folly, and doffed her <i>Gear</i>. It was +better <i>go plain</i> than run in Debt for Finery; and +enough she had to do to pay the Debts she had +contracted in her <i>Fit of</i> Vanity.</p> + +<p><i>Betty</i> all the while was minding Business<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[22]</a></span> +at home, and her Affairs prospered amain. Her +<i>Tenants</i> became industrious, and her <i>Estate</i> improved; +yet she never thought herself sufficiently +<i>secure</i> till she got under the new <i>Protection</i> her +<i>Deliverer</i> had provided. Her Situation is particular. +She has a strange Mixture of People +on her Estate, who are always at Daggers drawing +with one another, and a mighty Hindrance +to her Business. They are <i>Whites</i>, <i>Blacks</i>, and +<i>Black</i> and <i>White</i>. The <i>Whites</i> only are allowed +to be <i>Land-holders</i>; but the <i>last</i>, by hiding half +the Face when they converse with her, pass for +<i>Whites</i>, and make good their <i>Titles</i>. The first +are dreadfully maligned by the <i>Blacks</i>, who +are unhappily the more numerous, <i>lay old Claims</i> +to her <i>Lands</i>, and are ever watching for an Opportunity +to make a <i>Riot</i>, and take forcible Possession. +’Till now they were too much favoured +by her <i>Sister</i>, which checked the Industry of her +Farmers.</p> + +<p>But when they found they had nothing to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[23]</a></span> +fear, either at home or abroad, they began in +earnest to improve <i>their Concerns</i>, as they were +sure they were working for themselves, and in +no Danger of being dispossessed, by Virtue of +<i>chimerical</i> Claims, and <i>Antediluvian Proprietors</i>.</p> + +<p>The <i>Blacks</i>, indeed, immediately made a +<i>Riot</i> on this new Settlement, but could not get +Possession; and, lately, a <i>young Jackanapes</i> pretended +a <i>Right</i> to be <i>Steward</i> to <i>both Sisters</i>, by +Virtue of a <i>Patent</i> he had got from the last +<i>Steward</i>, as if he had a Right to dispose of a +<i>Place</i> he had been turned out of himself. He +came on the Lands, however, with a <i>bloody-minded</i> +Crew of <i>skirtless</i> Vagabonds, drove off +the Cattle, robbed the <i>Hen-roosts</i>, and <i>swaggered</i> +at so <i>unmerciful</i> a Rate, that <i>Blanch</i> was +frightened out of her Senses, and was fain to +<i>send</i> for a Dram of <i>Gin</i> to restore her Spirits. +But if she was frightened, her <i>Guardian</i> was not, +and had a <i>Month’s Mind</i> to find out the <i>Varlet</i> +in Person, and tread him under his Feet. But +as he could not leave the <i>Hall-house</i> where the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[24]</a></span> +<i>Court was sitting</i>, he sent a <i>Lad</i> of his own to +take Account of him, who did the <i>Business +tightly</i>. He was a <i>well-mettled Blade</i>, and <i>Steel</i> +to the <i>Back</i>. He came up with him at the Corner +of a Farmer’s Yard, where he gave him +and his <i>Desperados</i> a wofull Drubbing, kicked +him i’the <span class="nb">A——e,</span> <i>soused</i> him in the <i>Horse-pond</i>, +which he swam over to save his Bacon, and +looked so miserably scared in his Passage, that +it’s sure he’ll never <i>try the Ford</i> again.</p> + +<p>For a good while before this Alarm happened +(which proved nothing but a <i>Bugbear</i>) +both the <i>Sisters</i> had a fair Opportunity of minding +their Concerns, and getting above the World. +<i>Blanch</i> might have paid her Debts, and had +Money to the fore; but it was ever her Misfortune +to be <i>ill-served</i> by almost all she employed. +Never, sure, had Lady so <i>unhandy</i> a Pack about +her, and, indeed, it was impossible it could well +be otherwise; for she did not chuse her <i>Servants</i> +because they were <i>fit</i> for this, or that <i>Office</i>, but +because they asked, and would have it, or be +horribly out of Humour else, would make a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[25]</a></span> +Noise and <i>Uproar</i> at every <i>Court-Leet</i>, terrify +the <i>Tenants</i> at every <i>Ale-house</i>, with strange Stories +of Designs on their <i>Copy-holds</i>, and wicked +<i>Plots</i> just ready to begin; ’till they turned their +Heads, and set them madding. So that the +poor Lady was fain to <i>take them in</i>, to keep +Peace at Home, and to pay them Wages for +not doing her Business. The Consequence of +which was, she had <i>Clerks</i> could neither write +or read; Book, and Cash-keepers, that could +not <i>count</i> or cast up, or ever heard of a <i>Ballance</i> +in their Lives. And so ridiculous was her Compliance +in this Point, that she had once a Lady +to curry her Horse, and a <i>Fishmonger</i> for a <i>Grass +Bailiff</i>.</p> + +<p>’Tis true, she would often change her Servants, +but not a <i>Barrel the better Herring</i>. If +she got one, by chance, knew any thing of his +Business, the <i>rest</i> never left boddering her ’till +they had him out. It should never be said they +demeaned themselves so much as to serve with +one, who would spoil every thing by his <i>Rashness</i>, +and disgrace the Service by his <i>Ignorance</i>.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[26]</a></span> +Now, by <i>Rashness</i> they meant <i>resenting Insults</i> +and <i>Injuries</i> done their Lady; and by <i>Ignorance</i>, +not knowing how to <i>buy</i> and <i>sell</i>, and live by +the <i>Loss</i>. So that, all Things considered, it +were a Marvel her Affairs should be in better +Plight than they are, or her Debts be paid with +more Ease and Expedition.</p> + +<p><i>Betty</i>, in the mean time, is come to an +opulent Fortune, has her Rents well paid, and +her Farms daily improving, and would improve +ten times more, if her <i>Sister</i> could see her own +Advantage so far, as to give her that Encouragement +she is daily giving to <i>Strangers</i>, who give +her nothing in Return but their Envy and Ill-will. +But as it is, <i>Betty</i>’s in a good Way, and +makes the most of a bad Market. And since +she must not work for her <i>Sister</i>, she works for +herself.</p> + +<p>It had been a Custom of hers to buy every +thing she wanted from her <i>Sister’s Tenants</i> and +<i>Tradesmen</i>, though they used her abominably, +and put off upon her the worst Goods they had.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[27]</a></span> +If the Farmer had damaged Hops, he sold them +to <i>Betty Ireland</i>; if his Malt was blinked, away +it went to her; and the <i>Pothecary</i> thought his decayed +Drugs good enough for <i>Betty</i>, and instead +of burning them, laid them by for her, as tho’ +she were not a Christian, or had the same Inside +as her Sister.</p> + +<p><i>Betty</i> could not help this contemptuous +Treatment, as she had nothing she wanted +at Home, by reason of her Laziness, though +all Materials in abundance were at hand. ’Tis +incredible to relate, but, at the Time I am +speaking of, certain Fact, on her whole Estate +there was not one to be found could make a +Buckle for her Shoe, or a Pin to her Sleeve; +a Pot, a Spit, or any Utensil to cook her Victuals, +might as well be found among the <i>Tartars</i> +as with her. She took every thing from +her <i>Sister</i> at what Price she pleased, unsight unseen, +and bought the <i>Pig in the Poke</i>. Necessity +roused her from Stupidity and Sloth, she encouraged +her Tenants to apply to Trades, assured +them of a ready Market, and rewarded<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[28]</a></span> +those that did their Work the best; and, at present, +has every thing within herself. And tho’ +it must be owned a very unreasonable, and <i>not +to be endured</i> Instance of her Impudence, she +proposes to dress in her own Manufactures, and +does not mean to trouble her <i>Sister</i> any longer +for <i>cast Cloaths</i> and <i>unmerchantable</i> commodities. +But in every other Respect, she desires to keep +up a good Correspondence with her, and is daily +doing every thing in her Power, to gain her +Favour, and procure her Regards. Whatever +she can spare from her ordinary Expences, she, in +some Shape or other, makes a Present of to her +<i>Sister</i>, in Acknowledgement for Services done, and +Kindnesses receiv’d in her <i>Minority</i>. Has <i>Blanch</i> +a Favourite whom she cannot readily provide for, +a poor Relation on hand, or Retainer to the Family, +a broken Projector, or cast Serving-man; +she has no more to do but acquaint <i>Betty</i> with +it, who quickly puts him on a <i>creditable Pension</i>, +and never refuses, though she run herself in +Debt by it. Is <i>Blanch</i> engaged in a Brangle with +her <i>Tenants</i>, (who, by the way, are cursedly +litigious) and hard put to it for Hands to do her<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[29]</a></span> +Business, <i>Betty</i> makes an Offer of sending her +People to help her, and maintaining them abroad +at her own Charges. Does a Tenant of <i>Blanch</i> +come to favour her with a Visit, she receives +him with Hospitality and Respect, and would +sacrifice her Fortune to make his Entertainment +agreeable.</p> + +<p>If all this Complaisance should fail of its Effect, +and not so succeed as to keep <i>Blanch</i> in good +Humour, ’tis easy to say where the Fault must +lie, and from what Causes her Discontents arise.</p> + +<p>In the first Place, it has ever been the Fate +of her <i>Domesticks</i> to be invincibly hated by her +<i>Tenants</i> without Difference or Distinction, (for, +to say Truth, they have no Head for <i>Distingo</i>’s:) +There is but one Thing in the World they hate +more, and that is <i>Betty Ireland</i>. Now, the <i>Servants</i> +bear hard on <i>Betty</i>, to curry Favour with +her Sister’s <i>Tenants</i>, who would go half Way to +the <span class="nb">D——l</span> to have <i>Betty</i> <span class="nb">d——d,</span> are for ever cursing +her, and laying all their Misfortunes at her +Door. If the <i>Clothier</i> loses his Business, or has his<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[30]</a></span> +Goods on Hand, ’tis <i>all ’long</i> of <i>Betty</i>: Wheat +bears no Price, for <i>Betty</i> has glutted the Market. +Whereas, in Fact, they never keep the same +Markets. But they forget, they are all so idle +and debauched, such gobling and drinking Rascals, +and so expensive in <i>blew Beer</i>, that they +are forced to put a double Price on every thing +goes to Market; so that no Body will deal with +them. Indeed, if it incenses them, that <i>Betty</i> +won’t buy, burn her <i>own Goods</i> and take off +<i>theirs</i>, they must e’en turn the Buckle behind. +<i>Blanch</i> will be wiser, for her own sake, than +lay Stresses on her <i>Sister</i>, from whom she gets +more than <i>by all the World beside</i>, only to humour +a Set of grumbling Churls, who don’t +know what they would be at; and so extremely +senseless, that it’s Matter of Wonder, their +Oxen don’t ride them to the Market, and sell +them. ’Tis true, a <i>Linen-weaver</i>, one of <i>Blanch</i>’s +Tenants, prevailed on her lately to withdraw +some Encouragement she had given <i>Betty</i>, and +transfer it to a <i>Stranger</i>. But that was owing to +bad Advice given her, by a <i>Clerk</i> she has since +turned off, and sent a stroling among <i>Brandy-shops</i><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[31]</a></span> +and <i>Ale-houses</i>, to <i>backbite</i> his <i>Lady</i> for want +of other Employment.</p> + +<p>Another Cause of <i>Blanch</i>’s Dislike to her +<i>Sister</i> was, a Fright she took, when she was just +<i>delivered</i>, at some ill-looking People, who came +from <i>Betty</i>’s Lands, and appeared under her +Window. There’s no doubt but <i>Blanch</i> has as +much Courage as any genteel Lady ought to +have, and must have been in a Fit of low Spirits +when she, and all her Tenants from her, took +so senseless an alarm, as to run distracted thro’ +Fear of half a Dozen Fellows cutting all their +Throats in one Night, who were ready to run +through Fire and Water for Fear of being hang’d +themselves; yet certain it is, from this ridiculous +Incident, and from nothing else, can be derived, +that universal Hatred shewn her by +<i>Blanch’s Tenants</i>, though they have never seen, +spoken with, or had any Dealings whatever, either +with <i>Betty</i> or her <i>Tenants</i>. People must be +<i>generous</i>, as well as <i>brave</i>, to forgive those that +frighten them.</p> + +<p>There’s another Cause of Dislike among<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[32]</a></span> +such as have Dealings with <i>Betty</i>’s Tenants who +come on Business, or to visit her <i>Sister</i>, that they +run in debt with them, and don’t pay. So do +all their Neighbours, for that matter; but they +complain of none but <i>Betty</i>, though it is very +well known they make ample Reprisals on her; +and <i>one Bite</i> of theirs, is worth a hundred of +<i>Betty</i>’s, who are none but such as are despised +at home, and can get neither Credit or Company +there; for <i>Betty</i> is not yet arrived to that +Degree of Politeness, as to court and caress +<i>Highway-men</i> and <i>Sharpers</i>, only because <i>they +keep good Company</i>, and are Gentlemen of <i>nice +Honour</i>, but sincerely wishes her <i>Sister</i> to hang +them all.</p> + +<p>The last I shall mention (and, to be sure, a wise +Cause of Dislike it is) <i>Betty</i> goes once, at least, +every Year to pay her Sister a Visit, carries all +her Money, puts on her best Cloaths, lives +high as long as she has a Penny left. This vexes +her <i>Sister</i>, and many a <i>Slut</i> and <i>Flirt</i> she calls +<i>Betty</i>, at the very time she is throwing away her<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[33]</a></span> +Money with both Hands for the Tradesmen and +Shoeboys to scramble up. They are both Fools; +<i>One</i> for shewing this Contempt, and the other +for putting herself in the Way of it.</p> + +<p>It is wished, but probably in vain, that the +two <i>Sisters</i> would come to a better Understanding. +They that have considered the true Interest of +both, see plainly that the <i>elder</i>, and consequently +the <i>younger</i>, must be shortly undone, if these +Bickerings and ill Offices continue. So <i>unnatural</i> +a Quarrel between near Relations must make +them despised by all the <i>Neighbours</i> around, who +are hourly taking the Advantage of it, and <i>profiting</i> +themselves by the Hindrance the <i>Sisters</i> +give to each other. But their Manners and Disposition +are so different, that it’s next to impossible +they should ever love one another; tho’, +for mutual Interest, and to make that Figure in +the Eye of the World which two <i>Ladies</i> of their +Distinction and Fortune ought to assume, their +Friends may agree to promote <i>jointly</i> their Interests, +and never heed how peevish and untoward +<i>either</i> of them may be, or pay any Regard to the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[34]</a></span> +<i>fanciful Aversions</i>, and ungrounded Jealousies, +which are always inseparable from a female +Breast.</p> + +<p>Tho’ in this History I have rather copied the +<i>chaste Brevity</i> of <i>Cornelius Nepos</i>, than the diffused +and <i>chatty</i> Eloquence of <i>Plutarch</i>; I shall conclude, +in Imitation of the latter, with a Description +of the two <i>Ladies</i>, their Persons, Manners, +and Inclinations; and, in drawing the <i>Parallel</i>, +with Freedom represent, their Vices as well as +<i>Vertues</i>, their Faults as well as their Perfections.</p> + +<p><i>Blanch</i> is by much the taller, neat, timbersome, +and well made, a lively Look and a +sprightly Air. <i>Betty</i>’s Face is full out as <i>handsome</i> +as her <i>Sister</i>’s, tho’ not so regular, has more +<i>variety</i> and striking Beauties, and, with equal +<i>Dressing</i>, would appear more lovely than the +other; but she’s a <i>Slattern</i> in her <i>Dress</i>.</p> + +<p>As to their <i>Tempers</i>, <i>Pride</i> is the prevailing +Passion of the <i>first</i>, and <i>Vanity</i> of the <i>second</i>; +from which naturally, and unavoidably arises,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[35]</a></span> +every observable Character of their Mind and +Manners. <i>Blanch</i>’s Pride makes her selfish and +reserved, contemptuous, if not rough, in her Behaviour. +<i>Betty</i>’s Vanity makes her <i>open</i> and communicative, +fond of <i>shewing herself</i> on all Occasions, +complaisant, and caressing, to a Degree of +Flattery. As <i>Blanch</i> does not know what it is to +have Love or Affection for any one but herself, +so she expects it from no one, but claims a great +deal of Respect. <i>Betty</i> doesn’t know what Respect +for her means, but to gain her Love and +Liking would part with all she had. <i>Blanch</i> is +frugal in the main, not very hospitable, and seldom +lavish but in private Pleasures. <i>Betty</i> is +hospitable to Prodigality, lavish to Folly, and +thinks nothing a Pleasure that others don’t share +in. Hence it comes, that the first loves her Money +above all things, the <i>second</i> less than any +thing she has any value for at all; that one is +anxious to <i>get</i>, the <i>other</i> in haste to <i>spend</i>. <i>Blanch</i> +has a good Understanding, but does not <i>know +the World</i>, and is commonly <i>choused</i> by her +Neighbours. <i>Betty</i> has no Opportunity of <i>knowing +the World</i>, as her <i>Sister</i> won’t let her go<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[36]</a></span> +much abroad or converse with the <i>Neighbours</i>; +she has but little Experience, and, to be sure, +is not very <i>wise</i>, but is the quickest in the World +at finding out <i>a Fool</i>. The <i>elder</i> is <i>cautious</i>, and +hides carefully every Fault she is conscious of; +the <i>younger</i> is not conscious of any Fault of Folly +whatever; so they all come out in her <i>communicative +Fits</i>, which seize her as often as she gets +a Stranger to talk to. <i>Blanch</i> is the more censorious, +and <i>Betty</i> the greater Liar.</p> + +<p>If either of the <i>Ladies</i> think the Picture not +like, let them call to mind the Story of a famous +Painter, who had drawn the Portrait of a young +Man, whostood very well with himself, but didn’t +please him. “You have drawn me,”<!--Page 36: added missing end quote--> said he, +“exactly the <i>Reverse</i> of every thing I am.” +<i>If it be so</i>, replied the Painter, <i>that must be your +Likeness</i>, and set the Picture on the Head.</p> + +<p class="end"><i>F I N I S</i>.</p> + + + +<hr /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[37]</a></span></p> +<p class="ads"><span class="sp3">BOOKS</span> Printed for, and Sold by, <span class="sp3 smcap">Peter</span><br /> +<span class="smcap">W i l s o n</span>, in <i>Dame-street</i>.</p> + + +<div class="pad4"><p>The Spectator. 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0000000..d2c4384 --- /dev/null +++ b/23390.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1259 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, The True Life of Betty Ireland, by Anonymous + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: The True Life of Betty Ireland + With Her Birth, Education, and Adventures. Together with Some Account of Her Elder Sister Blanch of Britain. Containing Sundry Very Curious Particulars + + +Author: Anonymous + + + +Release Date: November 9, 2007 [eBook #23390] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE TRUE LIFE OF BETTY IRELAND*** + + +E-text prepared by Robert Cicconetti, Suzan Flanagan, and the Project +Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team (http://www.pgdp.net) + + + +Transcriber's note: + + The original spelling, hyphenation, and capitalization have been + retained. However, long s's have been transcribed as modern s's, + and minor punctuation corrections have been made. + + The oe ligature is represented as [oe]. + + + + + +THE TRUE + +LIFE + +OF + +_Betty IRELAND._ + +[Price a _British_ Sixpence.] + + + +THE TRUE + +LIFE + +OF + +_Betty IRELAND._ + +WITH + +Her BIRTH, EDUCATION, and +ADVENTURES. + +Together with + +Some Account of her elder Sister _BLANCH_ +of _BRITAIN_. + +Containing, + +Sundry very curious Particulars. + +[Illustration] + +_LONDON_, Printed: + +_DUBLIN_, Reprinted for PETER WILSON, in _Dame-street_. +MDCCLIII. + + + + +[Illustration] + +THE TRUE + +LIFE + +OF + +_Betty IRELAND_. + + +It is agreed on all Hands, that _Betty Ireland_ was a younger +Daughter by a _second Venter_; let, at first, to run wild in the +Woods, cloathed with Skins and fed with Acorns; till a _famous +Hunter_ took her in his Toils, and, liking her _Countenance_, gave +her to a Son of his, a _Lad_, to bring up. The _Girl_ was born to +a good Estate, but ill tenanted, and run to waste. Her _Farms_ +neither _meared_ or bounded, her Rents never paid, as she had no +_certain_ Tenants, and had little more to claim than a Pepper-corn +Acknowledgment. She had no Relation to manage her _Demesnes_, and +could hardly be said to be possessed of any thing. + +In this Condition the young _Sportsman_ found her, was fond of her +at first, and resolved to marry her; and _happy_ had it been both +for _him_ and _her_, if he had kept his Resolution, and performed +the _Contract_. But he hankered after his elder Brother's _Estate_, +and, on his Death, suddenly got the Tenants to _attorn_ to _him_, +and basely dispossessed his _Nephew_. But instead of an _Estate_, +he got nothing but a _Law-suit_, lived in _Broils_, and dyed a +_Beggar_. Whereas had he quitted all Pretensions at home, married +_Betty_ and minded her Concerns, he had soon been in a Condition +not to envy his Brother; and, perhaps, had left a _second Family_ +little inferior in _Greatness_ to the first. + +This was the only Chance ever _Betty_ had to make a _separate_ +Fortune, set up for herself, and be _independent_ of her _Sister_. +She was ever after _beholden_ to _her_ for maintaining her +_Rights_, settling her _Affairs_, and bringing her _Tenants_ to +Reason. + +Neither _Betty_ or her Sister were yet of Age, but the Younger far +from it, and continued under such _Guardians_, as the _Elder_ +recommended, and had chosen for herself. It was natural to think +they should chiefly be employed in ordering the Affairs of +_Blanch_, and be less attentive to benefit the other. Accordingly, +from time to time, they sent _Proxies_, to let Leases, keep her +_Courts_, and _force_ Possession, where the Tenants held over. +Little, however, was done for _Betty_, though they put her _Sister_ +to great Charges; nor did she thrive in the World to any Purpose, +'till she came under the Care of a good _orderly Gentlewoman_, who +was also _Guardian_ to _Blanch_, a notable _Manager_, and very +affectionate to her _Wards_, understood their Business to a hair, +and was never to be imposed on or _over-reached_. Every thing she +put her hand to prospered, and every thing against her miscarried. + +When she first looked into _Betty_'s Affairs, she found them in a +manner desperate; her small Revenues had been embezzled by +_Agents_, Farms set to _insolvent_ Tenants, _double_ Leases made +out, huge _Fines_ taken in Hand and sunk in their own Pockets. She +was preyed upon by Vagabonds and _Outlaws_; and, to compleat her +Misfortunes, a _Foreign Count_ fell in love with her, an odious +Monster and _braggadocio_ Huffer. He swore bitterly no one else +should have her, and to support his Claim, brought in his Pocket, a +_pretended Licence_ from the _Spiritual Court_, and a Pack of +_outlandish Goths_ along with him, to take Possession of her +Freehold, and break down her Gates. But her _Sister_ generously +came in to her Assistance, repelled Force by Force, and rescued her +from a Tyrant Ravisher, built Houses for herself, and Fences for +the Tenants, and left some of her own People with her to instruct +them in Trades and Husbandry. + +She was then, it might be thought, in a Way of making herself +respected, both by her own and her _Sister_'s Tenants, and not +stand in need of any more Supplies from them; and if the _good +Woman_, her guardian, had lived to bring Matters to any Kind of +Establishment, Things had been better. But she unfortunately died, +more, however, to her _Sister_'s Disadvantage than _hers_; for the +_Guardian_ had chalked out a Track of Proceeding for _Betty_, which +she could hardly miss to follow. The _Elder_, however, was +inconsolable for the Loss of her _Guardian_, and resolved, for the +future, to manage her Concerns by the Assistance of a _Steward_, a +Sort of a Cousin to her _Guardian_ deceased, but no way allied to +her, in Worth or Understanding. He minded nothing but Hunting and +_Puppet-shews_, Feasts and Revels; and though the uncomeliest of an +_ill-favoured Race_, spent his Lady's Money in adorning his own +Person, instead of _fencing_ her Grounds. He was laughed at by one +half of the Neighbours, and despised and gulled by the other. In a +Word, he was every Way unfit for the Charge. + +His Son succeeded to the Place; he was a grave-looking, orderly +young Man, main religious, and skilled in the _Customs of the +Manor_. Both the Sisters had great Hopes their Affairs would thrive +under his Management. _Betty_'s, indeed, went on well for a while; +but, in the End, both of them had Cause to complain, and curse the +Day they had bethought them of employing a _Steward_ in their +Concerns. He was not so great a Fool as his Father; yet nothing he +put his Hand to succeeded. He was _bubbled_ by every _Neighbour_ he +dealt with, and choused by every _Tenant_ he trusted. His Word +could never be relied on, as he had always some quibble to evade +it. His Wife made him hated by the Tenants; and for a finishing +Stroke to his undoing, and compleat the Ruin of his _Wards_, he +pretended the _Steward_ had a Right to hold Courts without +_Juries_, and by his own Authority levy Money for _Repairs_. The +Tenants would not endure this Invasion on their Rights, but stoutly +opposed it; and, after a hard Struggle, got the better, turned him +out of the _Stewardship_, and some of them finding him one Day at a +_why-not_, tied him to a Rope, and hanged him in a Frolick. + +The Office of a _Steward_ was now abolished for a Time, and the +elder _Sister_ resolved to take her Affairs entirely into her _own +Hands_, and have neither _Steward_ or _Guardian_ for the future. +The Condition, indeed, of _both_ was deplorable. There had been +nothing during the _late Quarrel_, but Riot and Plunder, Rents +unpaid, and Soldiers quartered at Discretion; so that, in order to +retrieve their Affairs, it seemed necessary to put things on a _new +Footing_, and trust none but themselves to manage them. But +whatever they intended mattered but little. + +Among the Soldiers quartered on them was a bustling Knave, who from +a Corporal had come to be a Captain. He was bold as a Lion, and +_crafty_ as a Fox. He had cajoled his Soldiers to stand by him; and +pretending _Compassion_ for the Sisters, offered, or rather forced +himself, to be their _Guardian_. They only complied because they +could not help it; and he took more _rule_ over them, than ever +_Steward_ or _Guardian_ had done before him. + +He seemed, indeed, to mend Matters in the Beginning, but, in +reality, did _unrepairable_ Damage to _Blanch_, though considerable +Services to _Betty_. The Neighbours all around thought they were +thriving apace, and began to envy their Greatness. The Reason of +which was, that he always took care to have the _Girls_ well +dressed, especially when they went a _visiting_, and sent Word +before-hand (for he was d----d proud) that all the World should +_Cap_ to them as they passed along. He stinted them in every thing +else, but _spent_ all he could _rap_ and _run_ to make them _fine_. +_Betty_ was _bashful_, and kept pretty much at home; but when +_Blanch_ went _abroad_, she made a _flaming_ Appearance, _held_ up +her Head among the _Highest_, and _insulted_ the _Proudest_ with +her _Braveries_. + +But all the while Things were but _uncomfortable_ at home, though +she made such a _tearing Figure_ when abroad. Nothing to be had for +Farms, by reason the Soldiers put _in_ and _out_ as they pleased. +No _Leets_ or _Manor Courts_ were minded. No _taxing_ for _Repairs_ +and _Bounds_, but the Soldiers _taxed_ for _Contingencies_ as much +Money as they could hear any one had. So that the _Tenants_ found +themselves in a worse _Pickle_ than ever they had been under the +Management of a _Steward_. They longed for Courts and _Inquests_, +and to have every thing set on the old Bottom again. + +They heard of a _poor Boy_, a Son of the late _Steward_'s, who had +run away from the _Lands_ the Time his Father was hanged, and was +now grown up to Years of Discretion. As he had _bit_ a good while +on the Bridle, they thought he might be tamed, more careful than +his _Father_, and do them more Justice and Kindness. They brought +him home in a _Hurry_; and, as it's natural to run from one Extreme +to another, were sure they were all _made_ when they got him into +the _Stewardship_. + +It must be owned, he was a pleasant, good-humoured Fellow as ever +broke Bread, civilly behaved, and by no means wanted Capacity for +the Business. But he was _idle_ to a Degree, followed W----ng and +Horse-racing; and provided he could borrow Money enough from the +_Tenants_, or get _Presents_ from the _Neighbours_, to treat his +Wenches and buy them _Top-knots_, never heeded how _Accounts_ were +settled, how he held the _Courts_, or how he paid the Servants. +Farm-houses went to decay, and Strangers forestalled the Markets. +Few People, however, could find in their Heart to hate him. They +had a Love for him, though he was daily undoing them: For it was +always _their Humour_ to like a _boon Companion_; and instead of +crossing his Prodigality, they followed his Example, wh----ed it +away from the highest to the lowest, revelled and caroused for +_dear Blood_, and were never better pleased than when the last +Penny was a going. It became a _Fashion_ to be Bankrupt; to be +Rich, was to lose all Credit; and to be Just, was the Mark of a +Scoundrel. + +But though the _elder Sister_ was well-nigh undone by him, he did a +good Turn by _Betty_, and sent one of his _Cousins_ to take care of +her Concerns, who had a good Farm of his own under her, and +was well-beloved over the whole Estate. He kept _Leet_ and +_Court-Baron_, presented Vagabonds at the Sessions, and gave +Rewards for apprehending _Out-laws_. He set the Tenants to Work, +_lived constantly among them_, and looked himself into every thing. +_Betty_ began to thrive, and was less expensive to her _Sister_, +who had wasted huge Sums to keep her Head above Water. She stuck to +Business, and prospered mainly, 'till the _Steward_'s Brother got +himself into the Place, who played H----ll with every thing, and +brought the two Sisters to the Brink of Ruin. + +He was rash, senseless, obstinate, and ill-minded; none of the +Neighbours would _deal_ with him, or the _Tenants_ trust him, as +there was no believing one Word he said, or promise that he made; +for he had taken an Oath when he was young never to speak Truth. He +began his Vagaries by putting the _Curate_ in the _Stocks_, for +refusing to teach a new _Catechism_ of his _own Invention_. He +entered into a Plot to secure the _Elder Sister_ in the House of +Correction, and make her do Penance in the Church, under Pretence +of Carnal Conversation. He agreed to sell _Betty_ to a Cousin of +his, a great Lord in the Neighbourhood, who longed to have her for +a Waiting-woman to his Wife. So the _Tenants_ made short Work with +him, rose one and all, and sent him a-packing to his Cousin, where +he was fain to be a Serving-man, since he could not send _Betty_ to +be a Serving-maid. + +Both the _Sisters_ took an Oath never more to have a _Steward_ +again, and to abolish the very Name from among them, with a reserve +to his Daughters, who had married abroad, and were good sort of +Women, in their Way. + +Here it was that _both the Sisters_ had their Affairs put on a sure +and lasting Footing. The Rights of the _Tenants_ were narrowly +examined, and all pretended Powers of the Steward abolished by a +Rule on the _Court Manor_ Books. There was, indeed, some Difficulty +in bringing it about, and a power of Money laid out on the +Occasion. But it was well bestowed had it been twice as much. + +There was a _Stripling_ among the neighbouring _Fens_, who had +married a Daughter of the _Steward_'s, and had got the best Estate +there by the Diligence of his _Ancestors_, who were the principal +_Engineers_ in _draining_ and _banking_ the Country. They had often +borrowed Money from _Blanch_ to carry on the Work, to _stem_ the +Water when the _Fen-men_ were in despair, and prevailed on her to +send a strong _Posse_ of her Tenants to keep off some malicious +Neighbours, who would ever and anon be _boring_ Holes in the +_Dikes_, and endangered the Overflowing of all the Land they had +gained. If ever these _wretched People_ shewed any thing that +looked like _Gratitude_, it was to the Family of their _Engineers_; +and this young Man improved it to his own Advantage, and that of +_Blanch_, whom he acknowledged the Preserver of the _Fen-men_, who +deserved Preservation on no other Account than to make them +_Pack-horses_ and _Carriers_. They were, indeed, a middle Species +between Men and Brutes, and chiefly compounded of the latter. But +this young _Adventurer_ had got the Ascendant over them, and, as we +ordinarily say of vicious Horses, had made the D----l come out of +them. He _ringed_ them by the Nose, and _bled_ them with the +_Spur_, and so throughly _broke_ them (for he was a special +Horseman) that they never kicked or plunged when he was _in the +Saddle_; but, as the Nature of Beasts is, became the fonder of him +the rougher he handled them. + +When he understood that _Blanch_ and her _Sister_ were so hampered +and _Tyrannically_ treated by the _Steward_, he came to their +Assistance, supplied them with Money, which he raised from the +_Fen-men_, and fairly set them free from his Oppression and Rapine, +reversed his _Grants_, cancelled his sham Leases, restored +Possessions, _Leets_ and _Manor-Courts_, made up _Fences_ for the +Tenants, and so strongly secured their _Copyholds_, that there is +no likelihood they will ever be _ousted_ or much _disturbed_ again. +And, to crown all the Services he had done the two Sisters, +he _recommended_ them, before he parted, to the Care of a +_neighbouring Lord_, a Cousin of his own, and a _right honest Man_, +who proved a Father to _them_ and their People, defended their +_Rights_, and secured their _Properties_. + +And yet _Blanch_ could never rightly like the _Fen-man_, as she +called him, though he had done so much for her. She could not +comport herself with his Manners and his Humour, hated the Servants +he brought with him, complained they were too costly to her, though +she kept them sparingly, and even quarrelled (so exceptious are +Women) to the Cut of their Cloaths, and the Colour of their +_Liveries_. + +But _Betty Ireland_ had more Gratitude than her _Sister_, adored +him while he stayed with her, and to this Day _remembers_ him as +her _great Deliverer_, the Protector of her Life, and the Founder +of her Fortune. + +She, indeed, had double Obligations, as her Condition was more +helpless than her _Sister_'s, and she had more severely felt the +_Tyranny_ of the _Steward_, who, because she could not so readily +complain of him, had first _stripped_ her of all she had, and then +sold her to Bondage. But both _Sisters_ ought surely to reflect, +that all the Happiness, and all the Security they have since +enjoyed, has been owing to the _Friendships_ he procured them, when +he put them under the Protection of _his Cousins_; and that he has +effectually banished the _Stewards_ thereby, who would doubtless +otherwise be meddling with their Affairs, and use them worse than +ever they did before, as coming _in without Leave_, they would act +without Controul. + +But maugre all these Considerations, _Blanch_ was glad when he left +her, and ready to leap out of her Skin for joy. She thought of +nothing but Diversions, spent her _Time_ and _Money_ in _visiting_ +and _dressing_, ransacked the Globe to set off her Person, and, it +must be owned, she never looked handsomer in her Life. Wherever she +went, she was adored as an Angel, surrounded by admiring Throngs, +and Thousands hanging on her _Look_. + +But all this was empty Pageantry and too expensive Glory. She ran +herself in Debt to uphold this Appearance, mortgaged her _Estate_, +and bartered her _Stock_, for the vain Applause of flattering +Knaves, and scoundrel _Tradesmen_. It was Time to pull in, and keep +a Hank in the Hand. She saw her Folly, and doffed her _Gear_. It +was better _go plain_ than run in Debt for Finery; and enough she +had to do to pay the Debts she had contracted in her _Fit of_ +Vanity. + +_Betty_ all the while was minding Business at home, and her Affairs +prospered amain. Her _Tenants_ became industrious, and her _Estate_ +improved; yet she never thought herself sufficiently _secure_ till +she got under the new _Protection_ her _Deliverer_ had provided. +Her Situation is particular. She has a strange Mixture of People on +her Estate, who are always at Daggers drawing with one another, and +a mighty Hindrance to her Business. They are _Whites_, _Blacks_, +and _Black_ and _White_. The _Whites_ only are allowed to be +_Land-holders_; but the _last_, by hiding half the Face when they +converse with her, pass for _Whites_, and make good their _Titles_. +The first are dreadfully maligned by the _Blacks_, who are +unhappily the more numerous, _lay old Claims_ to her _Lands_, and +are ever watching for an Opportunity to make a _Riot_, and take +forcible Possession. 'Till now they were too much favoured by her +_Sister_, which checked the Industry of her Farmers. + +But when they found they had nothing to fear, either at home or +abroad, they began in earnest to improve _their Concerns_, as they +were sure they were working for themselves, and in no Danger of +being dispossessed, by Virtue of _chimerical_ Claims, and +_Antediluvian Proprietors_. + +The _Blacks_, indeed, immediately made a _Riot_ on this new +Settlement, but could not get Possession; and, lately, a _young +Jackanapes_ pretended a _Right_ to be _Steward_ to _both Sisters_, +by Virtue of a _Patent_ he had got from the last _Steward_, as if +he had a Right to dispose of a _Place_ he had been turned out of +himself. He came on the Lands, however, with a _bloody-minded_ Crew +of _skirtless_ Vagabonds, drove off the Cattle, robbed the +_Hen-roosts_, and _swaggered_ at so _unmerciful_ a Rate, that +_Blanch_ was frightened out of her Senses, and was fain to _send_ +for a Dram of _Gin_ to restore her Spirits. But if she was +frightened, her _Guardian_ was not, and had a _Month's Mind_ to +find out the _Varlet_ in Person, and tread him under his Feet. +But as he could not leave the _Hall-house_ where the _Court +was sitting_, he sent a _Lad_ of his own to take Account of him, +who did the _Business tightly_. He was a _well-mettled Blade_, +and _Steel_ to the _Back_. He came up with him at the Corner +of a Farmer's Yard, where he gave him and his _Desperados_ a +wofull Drubbing, kicked him i'the A----e, _soused_ him in the +_Horse-pond_, which he swam over to save his Bacon, and looked so +miserably scared in his Passage, that it's sure he'll never _try +the Ford_ again. + +For a good while before this Alarm happened (which proved nothing +but a _Bugbear_) both the _Sisters_ had a fair Opportunity of +minding their Concerns, and getting above the World. _Blanch_ might +have paid her Debts, and had Money to the fore; but it was ever her +Misfortune to be _ill-served_ by almost all she employed. Never, +sure, had Lady so _unhandy_ a Pack about her, and, indeed, it was +impossible it could well be otherwise; for she did not chuse her +_Servants_ because they were _fit_ for this, or that _Office_, but +because they asked, and would have it, or be horribly out of +Humour else, would make a Noise and _Uproar_ at every _Court-Leet_, +terrify the _Tenants_ at every _Ale-house_, with strange Stories of +Designs on their _Copy-holds_, and wicked _Plots_ just ready to +begin; 'till they turned their Heads, and set them madding. So that +the poor Lady was fain to _take them in_, to keep Peace at Home, +and to pay them Wages for not doing her Business. The Consequence +of which was, she had _Clerks_ could neither write or read; Book, +and Cash-keepers, that could not _count_ or cast up, or ever heard +of a _Ballance_ in their Lives. And so ridiculous was her +Compliance in this Point, that she had once a Lady to curry her +Horse, and a _Fishmonger_ for a _Grass Bailiff_. + +'Tis true, she would often change her Servants, but not a _Barrel +the better Herring_. If she got one, by chance, knew any thing of +his Business, the _rest_ never left boddering her 'till they had +him out. It should never be said they demeaned themselves so much +as to serve with one, who would spoil every thing by his +_Rashness_, and disgrace the Service by his _Ignorance_. Now, by +_Rashness_ they meant _resenting Insults_ and _Injuries_ done their +Lady; and by _Ignorance_, not knowing how to _buy_ and _sell_, and +live by the _Loss_. So that, all Things considered, it were a +Marvel her Affairs should be in better Plight than they are, or her +Debts be paid with more Ease and Expedition. + +_Betty_, in the mean time, is come to an opulent Fortune, has her +Rents well paid, and her Farms daily improving, and would improve +ten times more, if her _Sister_ could see her own Advantage so far, +as to give her that Encouragement she is daily giving to +_Strangers_, who give her nothing in Return but their Envy and +Ill-will. But as it is, _Betty_'s in a good Way, and makes the most +of a bad Market. And since she must not work for her _Sister_, she +works for herself. + +It had been a Custom of hers to buy every thing she wanted from her +_Sister's Tenants_ and _Tradesmen_, though they used her +abominably, and put off upon her the worst Goods they had. If the +Farmer had damaged Hops, he sold them to _Betty Ireland_; if his +Malt was blinked, away it went to her; and the _Pothecary_ thought +his decayed Drugs good enough for _Betty_, and instead of burning +them, laid them by for her, as tho' she were not a Christian, or +had the same Inside as her Sister. + +_Betty_ could not help this contemptuous Treatment, as she had +nothing she wanted at Home, by reason of her Laziness, though all +Materials in abundance were at hand. 'Tis incredible to relate, +but, at the Time I am speaking of, certain Fact, on her whole +Estate there was not one to be found could make a Buckle for her +Shoe, or a Pin to her Sleeve; a Pot, a Spit, or any Utensil to cook +her Victuals, might as well be found among the _Tartars_ as with +her. She took every thing from her _Sister_ at what Price she +pleased, unsight unseen, and bought the _Pig in the Poke_. +Necessity roused her from Stupidity and Sloth, she encouraged her +Tenants to apply to Trades, assured them of a ready Market, and +rewarded those that did their Work the best; and, at present, has +every thing within herself. And tho' it must be owned a very +unreasonable, and _not to be endured_ Instance of her Impudence, +she proposes to dress in her own Manufactures, and does not mean +to trouble her _Sister_ any longer for _cast Cloaths_ and +_unmerchantable_ commodities. But in every other Respect, she +desires to keep up a good Correspondence with her, and is daily +doing every thing in her Power, to gain her Favour, and procure her +Regards. Whatever she can spare from her ordinary Expences, she, in +some Shape or other, makes a Present of to her _Sister_, in +Acknowledgement for Services done, and Kindnesses receiv'd in her +_Minority_. Has _Blanch_ a Favourite whom she cannot readily +provide for, a poor Relation on hand, or Retainer to the Family, a +broken Projector, or cast Serving-man; she has no more to do but +acquaint _Betty_ with it, who quickly puts him on a _creditable +Pension_, and never refuses, though she run herself in Debt by it. +Is _Blanch_ engaged in a Brangle with her _Tenants_, (who, by the +way, are cursedly litigious) and hard put to it for Hands to do +her Business, _Betty_ makes an Offer of sending her People to help +her, and maintaining them abroad at her own Charges. Does a Tenant +of _Blanch_ come to favour her with a Visit, she receives him with +Hospitality and Respect, and would sacrifice her Fortune to make +his Entertainment agreeable. + +If all this Complaisance should fail of its Effect, and not so +succeed as to keep _Blanch_ in good Humour, 'tis easy to say where +the Fault must lie, and from what Causes her Discontents arise. + +In the first Place, it has ever been the Fate of her _Domesticks_ +to be invincibly hated by her _Tenants_ without Difference +or Distinction, (for, to say Truth, they have no Head for +_Distingo_'s:) There is but one Thing in the World they hate more, +and that is _Betty Ireland_. Now, the _Servants_ bear hard on +_Betty_, to curry Favour with her Sister's _Tenants_, who would go +half Way to the D----l to have _Betty_ d----d, are for ever cursing +her, and laying all their Misfortunes at her Door. If the +_Clothier_ loses his Business, or has his Goods on Hand, 'tis _all +'long_ of _Betty_: Wheat bears no Price, for _Betty_ has glutted +the Market. Whereas, in Fact, they never keep the same Markets. But +they forget, they are all so idle and debauched, such gobling and +drinking Rascals, and so expensive in _blew Beer_, that they are +forced to put a double Price on every thing goes to Market; so that +no Body will deal with them. Indeed, if it incenses them, that +_Betty_ won't buy, burn her _own Goods_ and take off _theirs_, they +must e'en turn the Buckle behind. _Blanch_ will be wiser, for her +own sake, than lay Stresses on her _Sister_, from whom she gets +more than _by all the World beside_, only to humour a Set of +grumbling Churls, who don't know what they would be at; and so +extremely senseless, that it's Matter of Wonder, their Oxen +don't ride them to the Market, and sell them. 'Tis true, a +_Linen-weaver_, one of _Blanch_'s Tenants, prevailed on her lately +to withdraw some Encouragement she had given _Betty_, and transfer +it to a _Stranger_. But that was owing to bad Advice given her, by +a _Clerk_ she has since turned off, and sent a stroling among +_Brandy-shops_ and _Ale-houses_, to _backbite_ his _Lady_ for want +of other Employment. + +Another Cause of _Blanch_'s Dislike to her _Sister_ was, a Fright +she took, when she was just _delivered_, at some ill-looking +People, who came from _Betty_'s Lands, and appeared under her +Window. There's no doubt but _Blanch_ has as much Courage as any +genteel Lady ought to have, and must have been in a Fit of low +Spirits when she, and all her Tenants from her, took so senseless +an alarm, as to run distracted thro' Fear of half a Dozen Fellows +cutting all their Throats in one Night, who were ready to run +through Fire and Water for Fear of being hang'd themselves; yet +certain it is, from this ridiculous Incident, and from nothing +else, can be derived, that universal Hatred shewn her by _Blanch's +Tenants_, though they have never seen, spoken with, or had any +Dealings whatever, either with _Betty_ or her _Tenants_. People +must be _generous_, as well as _brave_, to forgive those that +frighten them. + +There's another Cause of Dislike among such as have Dealings with +_Betty_'s Tenants who come on Business, or to visit her _Sister_, +that they run in debt with them, and don't pay. So do all their +Neighbours, for that matter; but they complain of none but _Betty_, +though it is very well known they make ample Reprisals on her; and +_one Bite_ of theirs, is worth a hundred of _Betty_'s, who are none +but such as are despised at home, and can get neither Credit or +Company there; for _Betty_ is not yet arrived to that Degree of +Politeness, as to court and caress _Highway-men_ and _Sharpers_, +only because _they keep good Company_, and are Gentlemen of _nice +Honour_, but sincerely wishes her _Sister_ to hang them all. + +The last I shall mention (and, to be sure, a wise Cause of Dislike +it is) _Betty_ goes once, at least, every Year to pay her Sister a +Visit, carries all her Money, puts on her best Cloaths, lives high +as long as she has a Penny left. This vexes her _Sister_, and many +a _Slut_ and _Flirt_ she calls _Betty_, at the very time she is +throwing away her Money with both Hands for the Tradesmen and +Shoeboys to scramble up. They are both Fools; _One_ for shewing +this Contempt, and the other for putting herself in the Way of it. + +It is wished, but probably in vain, that the two _Sisters_ would +come to a better Understanding. They that have considered the true +Interest of both, see plainly that the _elder_, and consequently +the _younger_, must be shortly undone, if these Bickerings and ill +Offices continue. So _unnatural_ a Quarrel between near Relations +must make them despised by all the _Neighbours_ around, who are +hourly taking the Advantage of it, and _profiting_ themselves by +the Hindrance the _Sisters_ give to each other. But their Manners +and Disposition are so different, that it's next to impossible they +should ever love one another; tho', for mutual Interest, and to +make that Figure in the Eye of the World which two _Ladies_ of +their Distinction and Fortune ought to assume, their Friends may +agree to promote _jointly_ their Interests, and never heed how +peevish and untoward _either_ of them may be, or pay any Regard to +the _fanciful Aversions_, and ungrounded Jealousies, which are +always inseparable from a female Breast. + +Tho' in this History I have rather copied the _chaste Brevity_ of +_Cornelius Nepos_, than the diffused and _chatty_ Eloquence of +_Plutarch_; I shall conclude, in Imitation of the latter, with a +Description of the two _Ladies_, their Persons, Manners, and +Inclinations; and, in drawing the _Parallel_, with Freedom +represent, their Vices as well as _Vertues_, their Faults as well +as their Perfections. + +_Blanch_ is by much the taller, neat, timbersome, and well made, a +lively Look and a sprightly Air. _Betty_'s Face is full out as +_handsome_ as her _Sister_'s, tho' not so regular, has more +_variety_ and striking Beauties, and, with equal _Dressing_, would +appear more lovely than the other; but she's a _Slattern_ in her +_Dress_. + +As to their _Tempers_, _Pride_ is the prevailing Passion of the +_first_, and _Vanity_ of the _second_; from which naturally, and +unavoidably arises, every observable Character of their Mind and +Manners. _Blanch_'s Pride makes her selfish and reserved, +contemptuous, if not rough, in her Behaviour. _Betty_'s Vanity +makes her _open_ and communicative, fond of _shewing herself_ on +all Occasions, complaisant, and caressing, to a Degree of Flattery. +As _Blanch_ does not know what it is to have Love or Affection for +any one but herself, so she expects it from no one, but claims a +great deal of Respect. _Betty_ doesn't know what Respect for her +means, but to gain her Love and Liking would part with all she had. +_Blanch_ is frugal in the main, not very hospitable, and seldom +lavish but in private Pleasures. _Betty_ is hospitable to +Prodigality, lavish to Folly, and thinks nothing a Pleasure that +others don't share in. Hence it comes, that the first loves her +Money above all things, the _second_ less than any thing she has +any value for at all; that one is anxious to _get_, the _other_ in +haste to _spend_. _Blanch_ has a good Understanding, but does not +_know the World_, and is commonly _choused_ by her Neighbours. +_Betty_ has no Opportunity of _knowing the World_, as her _Sister_ +won't let her go much abroad or converse with the _Neighbours_; she +has but little Experience, and, to be sure, is not very _wise_, but +is the quickest in the World at finding out _a Fool_. The _elder_ +is _cautious_, and hides carefully every Fault she is conscious of; +the _younger_ is not conscious of any Fault of Folly whatever; so +they all come out in her _communicative Fits_, which seize her as +often as she gets a Stranger to talk to. _Blanch_ is the more +censorious, and _Betty_ the greater Liar. + +If either of the _Ladies_ think the Picture not like, let them call +to mind the Story of a famous Painter, who had drawn the Portrait +of a young Man, whostood very well with himself, but didn't please +him. "You have drawn me," said he, "exactly the _Reverse_ of every +thing I am." _If it be so_, replied the Painter, _that must be your +Likeness_, and set the Picture on the Head. + +_FINIS._ + + + + +BOOKS Printed for, and Sold by, PETER WILSON, in _Dame-street_. + + +The Spectator. In 8 Volumes. Price 16s. 6d. + +---- The same. Volume 9th. 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