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diff --git a/23390.txt b/23390.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d2c4384 --- /dev/null +++ b/23390.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1259 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, The True Life of Betty Ireland, by Anonymous + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: The True Life of Betty Ireland + With Her Birth, Education, and Adventures. Together with Some Account of Her Elder Sister Blanch of Britain. Containing Sundry Very Curious Particulars + + +Author: Anonymous + + + +Release Date: November 9, 2007 [eBook #23390] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE TRUE LIFE OF BETTY IRELAND*** + + +E-text prepared by Robert Cicconetti, Suzan Flanagan, and the Project +Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team (http://www.pgdp.net) + + + +Transcriber's note: + + The original spelling, hyphenation, and capitalization have been + retained. However, long s's have been transcribed as modern s's, + and minor punctuation corrections have been made. + + The oe ligature is represented as [oe]. + + + + + +THE TRUE + +LIFE + +OF + +_Betty IRELAND._ + +[Price a _British_ Sixpence.] + + + +THE TRUE + +LIFE + +OF + +_Betty IRELAND._ + +WITH + +Her BIRTH, EDUCATION, and +ADVENTURES. + +Together with + +Some Account of her elder Sister _BLANCH_ +of _BRITAIN_. + +Containing, + +Sundry very curious Particulars. + +[Illustration] + +_LONDON_, Printed: + +_DUBLIN_, Reprinted for PETER WILSON, in _Dame-street_. +MDCCLIII. + + + + +[Illustration] + +THE TRUE + +LIFE + +OF + +_Betty IRELAND_. + + +It is agreed on all Hands, that _Betty Ireland_ was a younger +Daughter by a _second Venter_; let, at first, to run wild in the +Woods, cloathed with Skins and fed with Acorns; till a _famous +Hunter_ took her in his Toils, and, liking her _Countenance_, gave +her to a Son of his, a _Lad_, to bring up. The _Girl_ was born to +a good Estate, but ill tenanted, and run to waste. Her _Farms_ +neither _meared_ or bounded, her Rents never paid, as she had no +_certain_ Tenants, and had little more to claim than a Pepper-corn +Acknowledgment. She had no Relation to manage her _Demesnes_, and +could hardly be said to be possessed of any thing. + +In this Condition the young _Sportsman_ found her, was fond of her +at first, and resolved to marry her; and _happy_ had it been both +for _him_ and _her_, if he had kept his Resolution, and performed +the _Contract_. But he hankered after his elder Brother's _Estate_, +and, on his Death, suddenly got the Tenants to _attorn_ to _him_, +and basely dispossessed his _Nephew_. But instead of an _Estate_, +he got nothing but a _Law-suit_, lived in _Broils_, and dyed a +_Beggar_. Whereas had he quitted all Pretensions at home, married +_Betty_ and minded her Concerns, he had soon been in a Condition +not to envy his Brother; and, perhaps, had left a _second Family_ +little inferior in _Greatness_ to the first. + +This was the only Chance ever _Betty_ had to make a _separate_ +Fortune, set up for herself, and be _independent_ of her _Sister_. +She was ever after _beholden_ to _her_ for maintaining her +_Rights_, settling her _Affairs_, and bringing her _Tenants_ to +Reason. + +Neither _Betty_ or her Sister were yet of Age, but the Younger far +from it, and continued under such _Guardians_, as the _Elder_ +recommended, and had chosen for herself. It was natural to think +they should chiefly be employed in ordering the Affairs of +_Blanch_, and be less attentive to benefit the other. Accordingly, +from time to time, they sent _Proxies_, to let Leases, keep her +_Courts_, and _force_ Possession, where the Tenants held over. +Little, however, was done for _Betty_, though they put her _Sister_ +to great Charges; nor did she thrive in the World to any Purpose, +'till she came under the Care of a good _orderly Gentlewoman_, who +was also _Guardian_ to _Blanch_, a notable _Manager_, and very +affectionate to her _Wards_, understood their Business to a hair, +and was never to be imposed on or _over-reached_. Every thing she +put her hand to prospered, and every thing against her miscarried. + +When she first looked into _Betty_'s Affairs, she found them in a +manner desperate; her small Revenues had been embezzled by +_Agents_, Farms set to _insolvent_ Tenants, _double_ Leases made +out, huge _Fines_ taken in Hand and sunk in their own Pockets. She +was preyed upon by Vagabonds and _Outlaws_; and, to compleat her +Misfortunes, a _Foreign Count_ fell in love with her, an odious +Monster and _braggadocio_ Huffer. He swore bitterly no one else +should have her, and to support his Claim, brought in his Pocket, a +_pretended Licence_ from the _Spiritual Court_, and a Pack of +_outlandish Goths_ along with him, to take Possession of her +Freehold, and break down her Gates. But her _Sister_ generously +came in to her Assistance, repelled Force by Force, and rescued her +from a Tyrant Ravisher, built Houses for herself, and Fences for +the Tenants, and left some of her own People with her to instruct +them in Trades and Husbandry. + +She was then, it might be thought, in a Way of making herself +respected, both by her own and her _Sister_'s Tenants, and not +stand in need of any more Supplies from them; and if the _good +Woman_, her guardian, had lived to bring Matters to any Kind of +Establishment, Things had been better. But she unfortunately died, +more, however, to her _Sister_'s Disadvantage than _hers_; for the +_Guardian_ had chalked out a Track of Proceeding for _Betty_, which +she could hardly miss to follow. The _Elder_, however, was +inconsolable for the Loss of her _Guardian_, and resolved, for the +future, to manage her Concerns by the Assistance of a _Steward_, a +Sort of a Cousin to her _Guardian_ deceased, but no way allied to +her, in Worth or Understanding. He minded nothing but Hunting and +_Puppet-shews_, Feasts and Revels; and though the uncomeliest of an +_ill-favoured Race_, spent his Lady's Money in adorning his own +Person, instead of _fencing_ her Grounds. He was laughed at by one +half of the Neighbours, and despised and gulled by the other. In a +Word, he was every Way unfit for the Charge. + +His Son succeeded to the Place; he was a grave-looking, orderly +young Man, main religious, and skilled in the _Customs of the +Manor_. Both the Sisters had great Hopes their Affairs would thrive +under his Management. _Betty_'s, indeed, went on well for a while; +but, in the End, both of them had Cause to complain, and curse the +Day they had bethought them of employing a _Steward_ in their +Concerns. He was not so great a Fool as his Father; yet nothing he +put his Hand to succeeded. He was _bubbled_ by every _Neighbour_ he +dealt with, and choused by every _Tenant_ he trusted. His Word +could never be relied on, as he had always some quibble to evade +it. His Wife made him hated by the Tenants; and for a finishing +Stroke to his undoing, and compleat the Ruin of his _Wards_, he +pretended the _Steward_ had a Right to hold Courts without +_Juries_, and by his own Authority levy Money for _Repairs_. The +Tenants would not endure this Invasion on their Rights, but stoutly +opposed it; and, after a hard Struggle, got the better, turned him +out of the _Stewardship_, and some of them finding him one Day at a +_why-not_, tied him to a Rope, and hanged him in a Frolick. + +The Office of a _Steward_ was now abolished for a Time, and the +elder _Sister_ resolved to take her Affairs entirely into her _own +Hands_, and have neither _Steward_ or _Guardian_ for the future. +The Condition, indeed, of _both_ was deplorable. There had been +nothing during the _late Quarrel_, but Riot and Plunder, Rents +unpaid, and Soldiers quartered at Discretion; so that, in order to +retrieve their Affairs, it seemed necessary to put things on a _new +Footing_, and trust none but themselves to manage them. But +whatever they intended mattered but little. + +Among the Soldiers quartered on them was a bustling Knave, who from +a Corporal had come to be a Captain. He was bold as a Lion, and +_crafty_ as a Fox. He had cajoled his Soldiers to stand by him; and +pretending _Compassion_ for the Sisters, offered, or rather forced +himself, to be their _Guardian_. They only complied because they +could not help it; and he took more _rule_ over them, than ever +_Steward_ or _Guardian_ had done before him. + +He seemed, indeed, to mend Matters in the Beginning, but, in +reality, did _unrepairable_ Damage to _Blanch_, though considerable +Services to _Betty_. The Neighbours all around thought they were +thriving apace, and began to envy their Greatness. The Reason of +which was, that he always took care to have the _Girls_ well +dressed, especially when they went a _visiting_, and sent Word +before-hand (for he was d----d proud) that all the World should +_Cap_ to them as they passed along. He stinted them in every thing +else, but _spent_ all he could _rap_ and _run_ to make them _fine_. +_Betty_ was _bashful_, and kept pretty much at home; but when +_Blanch_ went _abroad_, she made a _flaming_ Appearance, _held_ up +her Head among the _Highest_, and _insulted_ the _Proudest_ with +her _Braveries_. + +But all the while Things were but _uncomfortable_ at home, though +she made such a _tearing Figure_ when abroad. Nothing to be had for +Farms, by reason the Soldiers put _in_ and _out_ as they pleased. +No _Leets_ or _Manor Courts_ were minded. No _taxing_ for _Repairs_ +and _Bounds_, but the Soldiers _taxed_ for _Contingencies_ as much +Money as they could hear any one had. So that the _Tenants_ found +themselves in a worse _Pickle_ than ever they had been under the +Management of a _Steward_. They longed for Courts and _Inquests_, +and to have every thing set on the old Bottom again. + +They heard of a _poor Boy_, a Son of the late _Steward_'s, who had +run away from the _Lands_ the Time his Father was hanged, and was +now grown up to Years of Discretion. As he had _bit_ a good while +on the Bridle, they thought he might be tamed, more careful than +his _Father_, and do them more Justice and Kindness. They brought +him home in a _Hurry_; and, as it's natural to run from one Extreme +to another, were sure they were all _made_ when they got him into +the _Stewardship_. + +It must be owned, he was a pleasant, good-humoured Fellow as ever +broke Bread, civilly behaved, and by no means wanted Capacity for +the Business. But he was _idle_ to a Degree, followed W----ng and +Horse-racing; and provided he could borrow Money enough from the +_Tenants_, or get _Presents_ from the _Neighbours_, to treat his +Wenches and buy them _Top-knots_, never heeded how _Accounts_ were +settled, how he held the _Courts_, or how he paid the Servants. +Farm-houses went to decay, and Strangers forestalled the Markets. +Few People, however, could find in their Heart to hate him. They +had a Love for him, though he was daily undoing them: For it was +always _their Humour_ to like a _boon Companion_; and instead of +crossing his Prodigality, they followed his Example, wh----ed it +away from the highest to the lowest, revelled and caroused for +_dear Blood_, and were never better pleased than when the last +Penny was a going. It became a _Fashion_ to be Bankrupt; to be +Rich, was to lose all Credit; and to be Just, was the Mark of a +Scoundrel. + +But though the _elder Sister_ was well-nigh undone by him, he did a +good Turn by _Betty_, and sent one of his _Cousins_ to take care of +her Concerns, who had a good Farm of his own under her, and +was well-beloved over the whole Estate. He kept _Leet_ and +_Court-Baron_, presented Vagabonds at the Sessions, and gave +Rewards for apprehending _Out-laws_. He set the Tenants to Work, +_lived constantly among them_, and looked himself into every thing. +_Betty_ began to thrive, and was less expensive to her _Sister_, +who had wasted huge Sums to keep her Head above Water. She stuck to +Business, and prospered mainly, 'till the _Steward_'s Brother got +himself into the Place, who played H----ll with every thing, and +brought the two Sisters to the Brink of Ruin. + +He was rash, senseless, obstinate, and ill-minded; none of the +Neighbours would _deal_ with him, or the _Tenants_ trust him, as +there was no believing one Word he said, or promise that he made; +for he had taken an Oath when he was young never to speak Truth. He +began his Vagaries by putting the _Curate_ in the _Stocks_, for +refusing to teach a new _Catechism_ of his _own Invention_. He +entered into a Plot to secure the _Elder Sister_ in the House of +Correction, and make her do Penance in the Church, under Pretence +of Carnal Conversation. He agreed to sell _Betty_ to a Cousin of +his, a great Lord in the Neighbourhood, who longed to have her for +a Waiting-woman to his Wife. So the _Tenants_ made short Work with +him, rose one and all, and sent him a-packing to his Cousin, where +he was fain to be a Serving-man, since he could not send _Betty_ to +be a Serving-maid. + +Both the _Sisters_ took an Oath never more to have a _Steward_ +again, and to abolish the very Name from among them, with a reserve +to his Daughters, who had married abroad, and were good sort of +Women, in their Way. + +Here it was that _both the Sisters_ had their Affairs put on a sure +and lasting Footing. The Rights of the _Tenants_ were narrowly +examined, and all pretended Powers of the Steward abolished by a +Rule on the _Court Manor_ Books. There was, indeed, some Difficulty +in bringing it about, and a power of Money laid out on the +Occasion. But it was well bestowed had it been twice as much. + +There was a _Stripling_ among the neighbouring _Fens_, who had +married a Daughter of the _Steward_'s, and had got the best Estate +there by the Diligence of his _Ancestors_, who were the principal +_Engineers_ in _draining_ and _banking_ the Country. They had often +borrowed Money from _Blanch_ to carry on the Work, to _stem_ the +Water when the _Fen-men_ were in despair, and prevailed on her to +send a strong _Posse_ of her Tenants to keep off some malicious +Neighbours, who would ever and anon be _boring_ Holes in the +_Dikes_, and endangered the Overflowing of all the Land they had +gained. If ever these _wretched People_ shewed any thing that +looked like _Gratitude_, it was to the Family of their _Engineers_; +and this young Man improved it to his own Advantage, and that of +_Blanch_, whom he acknowledged the Preserver of the _Fen-men_, who +deserved Preservation on no other Account than to make them +_Pack-horses_ and _Carriers_. They were, indeed, a middle Species +between Men and Brutes, and chiefly compounded of the latter. But +this young _Adventurer_ had got the Ascendant over them, and, as we +ordinarily say of vicious Horses, had made the D----l come out of +them. He _ringed_ them by the Nose, and _bled_ them with the +_Spur_, and so throughly _broke_ them (for he was a special +Horseman) that they never kicked or plunged when he was _in the +Saddle_; but, as the Nature of Beasts is, became the fonder of him +the rougher he handled them. + +When he understood that _Blanch_ and her _Sister_ were so hampered +and _Tyrannically_ treated by the _Steward_, he came to their +Assistance, supplied them with Money, which he raised from the +_Fen-men_, and fairly set them free from his Oppression and Rapine, +reversed his _Grants_, cancelled his sham Leases, restored +Possessions, _Leets_ and _Manor-Courts_, made up _Fences_ for the +Tenants, and so strongly secured their _Copyholds_, that there is +no likelihood they will ever be _ousted_ or much _disturbed_ again. +And, to crown all the Services he had done the two Sisters, +he _recommended_ them, before he parted, to the Care of a +_neighbouring Lord_, a Cousin of his own, and a _right honest Man_, +who proved a Father to _them_ and their People, defended their +_Rights_, and secured their _Properties_. + +And yet _Blanch_ could never rightly like the _Fen-man_, as she +called him, though he had done so much for her. She could not +comport herself with his Manners and his Humour, hated the Servants +he brought with him, complained they were too costly to her, though +she kept them sparingly, and even quarrelled (so exceptious are +Women) to the Cut of their Cloaths, and the Colour of their +_Liveries_. + +But _Betty Ireland_ had more Gratitude than her _Sister_, adored +him while he stayed with her, and to this Day _remembers_ him as +her _great Deliverer_, the Protector of her Life, and the Founder +of her Fortune. + +She, indeed, had double Obligations, as her Condition was more +helpless than her _Sister_'s, and she had more severely felt the +_Tyranny_ of the _Steward_, who, because she could not so readily +complain of him, had first _stripped_ her of all she had, and then +sold her to Bondage. But both _Sisters_ ought surely to reflect, +that all the Happiness, and all the Security they have since +enjoyed, has been owing to the _Friendships_ he procured them, when +he put them under the Protection of _his Cousins_; and that he has +effectually banished the _Stewards_ thereby, who would doubtless +otherwise be meddling with their Affairs, and use them worse than +ever they did before, as coming _in without Leave_, they would act +without Controul. + +But maugre all these Considerations, _Blanch_ was glad when he left +her, and ready to leap out of her Skin for joy. She thought of +nothing but Diversions, spent her _Time_ and _Money_ in _visiting_ +and _dressing_, ransacked the Globe to set off her Person, and, it +must be owned, she never looked handsomer in her Life. Wherever she +went, she was adored as an Angel, surrounded by admiring Throngs, +and Thousands hanging on her _Look_. + +But all this was empty Pageantry and too expensive Glory. She ran +herself in Debt to uphold this Appearance, mortgaged her _Estate_, +and bartered her _Stock_, for the vain Applause of flattering +Knaves, and scoundrel _Tradesmen_. It was Time to pull in, and keep +a Hank in the Hand. She saw her Folly, and doffed her _Gear_. It +was better _go plain_ than run in Debt for Finery; and enough she +had to do to pay the Debts she had contracted in her _Fit of_ +Vanity. + +_Betty_ all the while was minding Business at home, and her Affairs +prospered amain. Her _Tenants_ became industrious, and her _Estate_ +improved; yet she never thought herself sufficiently _secure_ till +she got under the new _Protection_ her _Deliverer_ had provided. +Her Situation is particular. She has a strange Mixture of People on +her Estate, who are always at Daggers drawing with one another, and +a mighty Hindrance to her Business. They are _Whites_, _Blacks_, +and _Black_ and _White_. The _Whites_ only are allowed to be +_Land-holders_; but the _last_, by hiding half the Face when they +converse with her, pass for _Whites_, and make good their _Titles_. +The first are dreadfully maligned by the _Blacks_, who are +unhappily the more numerous, _lay old Claims_ to her _Lands_, and +are ever watching for an Opportunity to make a _Riot_, and take +forcible Possession. 'Till now they were too much favoured by her +_Sister_, which checked the Industry of her Farmers. + +But when they found they had nothing to fear, either at home or +abroad, they began in earnest to improve _their Concerns_, as they +were sure they were working for themselves, and in no Danger of +being dispossessed, by Virtue of _chimerical_ Claims, and +_Antediluvian Proprietors_. + +The _Blacks_, indeed, immediately made a _Riot_ on this new +Settlement, but could not get Possession; and, lately, a _young +Jackanapes_ pretended a _Right_ to be _Steward_ to _both Sisters_, +by Virtue of a _Patent_ he had got from the last _Steward_, as if +he had a Right to dispose of a _Place_ he had been turned out of +himself. He came on the Lands, however, with a _bloody-minded_ Crew +of _skirtless_ Vagabonds, drove off the Cattle, robbed the +_Hen-roosts_, and _swaggered_ at so _unmerciful_ a Rate, that +_Blanch_ was frightened out of her Senses, and was fain to _send_ +for a Dram of _Gin_ to restore her Spirits. But if she was +frightened, her _Guardian_ was not, and had a _Month's Mind_ to +find out the _Varlet_ in Person, and tread him under his Feet. +But as he could not leave the _Hall-house_ where the _Court +was sitting_, he sent a _Lad_ of his own to take Account of him, +who did the _Business tightly_. He was a _well-mettled Blade_, +and _Steel_ to the _Back_. He came up with him at the Corner +of a Farmer's Yard, where he gave him and his _Desperados_ a +wofull Drubbing, kicked him i'the A----e, _soused_ him in the +_Horse-pond_, which he swam over to save his Bacon, and looked so +miserably scared in his Passage, that it's sure he'll never _try +the Ford_ again. + +For a good while before this Alarm happened (which proved nothing +but a _Bugbear_) both the _Sisters_ had a fair Opportunity of +minding their Concerns, and getting above the World. _Blanch_ might +have paid her Debts, and had Money to the fore; but it was ever her +Misfortune to be _ill-served_ by almost all she employed. Never, +sure, had Lady so _unhandy_ a Pack about her, and, indeed, it was +impossible it could well be otherwise; for she did not chuse her +_Servants_ because they were _fit_ for this, or that _Office_, but +because they asked, and would have it, or be horribly out of +Humour else, would make a Noise and _Uproar_ at every _Court-Leet_, +terrify the _Tenants_ at every _Ale-house_, with strange Stories of +Designs on their _Copy-holds_, and wicked _Plots_ just ready to +begin; 'till they turned their Heads, and set them madding. So that +the poor Lady was fain to _take them in_, to keep Peace at Home, +and to pay them Wages for not doing her Business. The Consequence +of which was, she had _Clerks_ could neither write or read; Book, +and Cash-keepers, that could not _count_ or cast up, or ever heard +of a _Ballance_ in their Lives. And so ridiculous was her +Compliance in this Point, that she had once a Lady to curry her +Horse, and a _Fishmonger_ for a _Grass Bailiff_. + +'Tis true, she would often change her Servants, but not a _Barrel +the better Herring_. If she got one, by chance, knew any thing of +his Business, the _rest_ never left boddering her 'till they had +him out. It should never be said they demeaned themselves so much +as to serve with one, who would spoil every thing by his +_Rashness_, and disgrace the Service by his _Ignorance_. Now, by +_Rashness_ they meant _resenting Insults_ and _Injuries_ done their +Lady; and by _Ignorance_, not knowing how to _buy_ and _sell_, and +live by the _Loss_. So that, all Things considered, it were a +Marvel her Affairs should be in better Plight than they are, or her +Debts be paid with more Ease and Expedition. + +_Betty_, in the mean time, is come to an opulent Fortune, has her +Rents well paid, and her Farms daily improving, and would improve +ten times more, if her _Sister_ could see her own Advantage so far, +as to give her that Encouragement she is daily giving to +_Strangers_, who give her nothing in Return but their Envy and +Ill-will. But as it is, _Betty_'s in a good Way, and makes the most +of a bad Market. And since she must not work for her _Sister_, she +works for herself. + +It had been a Custom of hers to buy every thing she wanted from her +_Sister's Tenants_ and _Tradesmen_, though they used her +abominably, and put off upon her the worst Goods they had. If the +Farmer had damaged Hops, he sold them to _Betty Ireland_; if his +Malt was blinked, away it went to her; and the _Pothecary_ thought +his decayed Drugs good enough for _Betty_, and instead of burning +them, laid them by for her, as tho' she were not a Christian, or +had the same Inside as her Sister. + +_Betty_ could not help this contemptuous Treatment, as she had +nothing she wanted at Home, by reason of her Laziness, though all +Materials in abundance were at hand. 'Tis incredible to relate, +but, at the Time I am speaking of, certain Fact, on her whole +Estate there was not one to be found could make a Buckle for her +Shoe, or a Pin to her Sleeve; a Pot, a Spit, or any Utensil to cook +her Victuals, might as well be found among the _Tartars_ as with +her. She took every thing from her _Sister_ at what Price she +pleased, unsight unseen, and bought the _Pig in the Poke_. +Necessity roused her from Stupidity and Sloth, she encouraged her +Tenants to apply to Trades, assured them of a ready Market, and +rewarded those that did their Work the best; and, at present, has +every thing within herself. And tho' it must be owned a very +unreasonable, and _not to be endured_ Instance of her Impudence, +she proposes to dress in her own Manufactures, and does not mean +to trouble her _Sister_ any longer for _cast Cloaths_ and +_unmerchantable_ commodities. But in every other Respect, she +desires to keep up a good Correspondence with her, and is daily +doing every thing in her Power, to gain her Favour, and procure her +Regards. Whatever she can spare from her ordinary Expences, she, in +some Shape or other, makes a Present of to her _Sister_, in +Acknowledgement for Services done, and Kindnesses receiv'd in her +_Minority_. Has _Blanch_ a Favourite whom she cannot readily +provide for, a poor Relation on hand, or Retainer to the Family, a +broken Projector, or cast Serving-man; she has no more to do but +acquaint _Betty_ with it, who quickly puts him on a _creditable +Pension_, and never refuses, though she run herself in Debt by it. +Is _Blanch_ engaged in a Brangle with her _Tenants_, (who, by the +way, are cursedly litigious) and hard put to it for Hands to do +her Business, _Betty_ makes an Offer of sending her People to help +her, and maintaining them abroad at her own Charges. Does a Tenant +of _Blanch_ come to favour her with a Visit, she receives him with +Hospitality and Respect, and would sacrifice her Fortune to make +his Entertainment agreeable. + +If all this Complaisance should fail of its Effect, and not so +succeed as to keep _Blanch_ in good Humour, 'tis easy to say where +the Fault must lie, and from what Causes her Discontents arise. + +In the first Place, it has ever been the Fate of her _Domesticks_ +to be invincibly hated by her _Tenants_ without Difference +or Distinction, (for, to say Truth, they have no Head for +_Distingo_'s:) There is but one Thing in the World they hate more, +and that is _Betty Ireland_. Now, the _Servants_ bear hard on +_Betty_, to curry Favour with her Sister's _Tenants_, who would go +half Way to the D----l to have _Betty_ d----d, are for ever cursing +her, and laying all their Misfortunes at her Door. If the +_Clothier_ loses his Business, or has his Goods on Hand, 'tis _all +'long_ of _Betty_: Wheat bears no Price, for _Betty_ has glutted +the Market. Whereas, in Fact, they never keep the same Markets. But +they forget, they are all so idle and debauched, such gobling and +drinking Rascals, and so expensive in _blew Beer_, that they are +forced to put a double Price on every thing goes to Market; so that +no Body will deal with them. Indeed, if it incenses them, that +_Betty_ won't buy, burn her _own Goods_ and take off _theirs_, they +must e'en turn the Buckle behind. _Blanch_ will be wiser, for her +own sake, than lay Stresses on her _Sister_, from whom she gets +more than _by all the World beside_, only to humour a Set of +grumbling Churls, who don't know what they would be at; and so +extremely senseless, that it's Matter of Wonder, their Oxen +don't ride them to the Market, and sell them. 'Tis true, a +_Linen-weaver_, one of _Blanch_'s Tenants, prevailed on her lately +to withdraw some Encouragement she had given _Betty_, and transfer +it to a _Stranger_. But that was owing to bad Advice given her, by +a _Clerk_ she has since turned off, and sent a stroling among +_Brandy-shops_ and _Ale-houses_, to _backbite_ his _Lady_ for want +of other Employment. + +Another Cause of _Blanch_'s Dislike to her _Sister_ was, a Fright +she took, when she was just _delivered_, at some ill-looking +People, who came from _Betty_'s Lands, and appeared under her +Window. There's no doubt but _Blanch_ has as much Courage as any +genteel Lady ought to have, and must have been in a Fit of low +Spirits when she, and all her Tenants from her, took so senseless +an alarm, as to run distracted thro' Fear of half a Dozen Fellows +cutting all their Throats in one Night, who were ready to run +through Fire and Water for Fear of being hang'd themselves; yet +certain it is, from this ridiculous Incident, and from nothing +else, can be derived, that universal Hatred shewn her by _Blanch's +Tenants_, though they have never seen, spoken with, or had any +Dealings whatever, either with _Betty_ or her _Tenants_. People +must be _generous_, as well as _brave_, to forgive those that +frighten them. + +There's another Cause of Dislike among such as have Dealings with +_Betty_'s Tenants who come on Business, or to visit her _Sister_, +that they run in debt with them, and don't pay. So do all their +Neighbours, for that matter; but they complain of none but _Betty_, +though it is very well known they make ample Reprisals on her; and +_one Bite_ of theirs, is worth a hundred of _Betty_'s, who are none +but such as are despised at home, and can get neither Credit or +Company there; for _Betty_ is not yet arrived to that Degree of +Politeness, as to court and caress _Highway-men_ and _Sharpers_, +only because _they keep good Company_, and are Gentlemen of _nice +Honour_, but sincerely wishes her _Sister_ to hang them all. + +The last I shall mention (and, to be sure, a wise Cause of Dislike +it is) _Betty_ goes once, at least, every Year to pay her Sister a +Visit, carries all her Money, puts on her best Cloaths, lives high +as long as she has a Penny left. This vexes her _Sister_, and many +a _Slut_ and _Flirt_ she calls _Betty_, at the very time she is +throwing away her Money with both Hands for the Tradesmen and +Shoeboys to scramble up. They are both Fools; _One_ for shewing +this Contempt, and the other for putting herself in the Way of it. + +It is wished, but probably in vain, that the two _Sisters_ would +come to a better Understanding. They that have considered the true +Interest of both, see plainly that the _elder_, and consequently +the _younger_, must be shortly undone, if these Bickerings and ill +Offices continue. So _unnatural_ a Quarrel between near Relations +must make them despised by all the _Neighbours_ around, who are +hourly taking the Advantage of it, and _profiting_ themselves by +the Hindrance the _Sisters_ give to each other. But their Manners +and Disposition are so different, that it's next to impossible they +should ever love one another; tho', for mutual Interest, and to +make that Figure in the Eye of the World which two _Ladies_ of +their Distinction and Fortune ought to assume, their Friends may +agree to promote _jointly_ their Interests, and never heed how +peevish and untoward _either_ of them may be, or pay any Regard to +the _fanciful Aversions_, and ungrounded Jealousies, which are +always inseparable from a female Breast. + +Tho' in this History I have rather copied the _chaste Brevity_ of +_Cornelius Nepos_, than the diffused and _chatty_ Eloquence of +_Plutarch_; I shall conclude, in Imitation of the latter, with a +Description of the two _Ladies_, their Persons, Manners, and +Inclinations; and, in drawing the _Parallel_, with Freedom +represent, their Vices as well as _Vertues_, their Faults as well +as their Perfections. + +_Blanch_ is by much the taller, neat, timbersome, and well made, a +lively Look and a sprightly Air. _Betty_'s Face is full out as +_handsome_ as her _Sister_'s, tho' not so regular, has more +_variety_ and striking Beauties, and, with equal _Dressing_, would +appear more lovely than the other; but she's a _Slattern_ in her +_Dress_. + +As to their _Tempers_, _Pride_ is the prevailing Passion of the +_first_, and _Vanity_ of the _second_; from which naturally, and +unavoidably arises, every observable Character of their Mind and +Manners. _Blanch_'s Pride makes her selfish and reserved, +contemptuous, if not rough, in her Behaviour. _Betty_'s Vanity +makes her _open_ and communicative, fond of _shewing herself_ on +all Occasions, complaisant, and caressing, to a Degree of Flattery. +As _Blanch_ does not know what it is to have Love or Affection for +any one but herself, so she expects it from no one, but claims a +great deal of Respect. _Betty_ doesn't know what Respect for her +means, but to gain her Love and Liking would part with all she had. +_Blanch_ is frugal in the main, not very hospitable, and seldom +lavish but in private Pleasures. _Betty_ is hospitable to +Prodigality, lavish to Folly, and thinks nothing a Pleasure that +others don't share in. Hence it comes, that the first loves her +Money above all things, the _second_ less than any thing she has +any value for at all; that one is anxious to _get_, the _other_ in +haste to _spend_. _Blanch_ has a good Understanding, but does not +_know the World_, and is commonly _choused_ by her Neighbours. +_Betty_ has no Opportunity of _knowing the World_, as her _Sister_ +won't let her go much abroad or converse with the _Neighbours_; she +has but little Experience, and, to be sure, is not very _wise_, but +is the quickest in the World at finding out _a Fool_. The _elder_ +is _cautious_, and hides carefully every Fault she is conscious of; +the _younger_ is not conscious of any Fault of Folly whatever; so +they all come out in her _communicative Fits_, which seize her as +often as she gets a Stranger to talk to. _Blanch_ is the more +censorious, and _Betty_ the greater Liar. + +If either of the _Ladies_ think the Picture not like, let them call +to mind the Story of a famous Painter, who had drawn the Portrait +of a young Man, whostood very well with himself, but didn't please +him. "You have drawn me," said he, "exactly the _Reverse_ of every +thing I am." _If it be so_, replied the Painter, _that must be your +Likeness_, and set the Picture on the Head. + +_FINIS._ + + + + +BOOKS Printed for, and Sold by, PETER WILSON, in _Dame-street_. + + +The Spectator. In 8 Volumes. Price 16s. 6d. + +---- The same. Volume 9th. 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