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diff --git a/23174-h/23174-h.htm b/23174-h/23174-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f38b2a1 --- /dev/null +++ b/23174-h/23174-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1758 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en"> + <head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=UTF-8" /> + <title> + A Good-for-nothing, by Hjalmar Hjorth Boyesen + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; background:#faebd0; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + div.middle { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; } + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} + .pagenum {display:inline; font-size: 70%; font-style:normal; + margin: 0; padding: 0; position: absolute; right: 1%; + text-align: right;} + pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Good-For-Nothing, by Hjalmar Hjorth Boyesen + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: A Good-For-Nothing + 1876 + +Author: Hjalmar Hjorth Boyesen + +Release Date: October 24, 2007 [EBook #23174] +Last Updated: October 18, 2016 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A GOOD-FOR-NOTHING *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + <div style="height: 8em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h1> + A GOOD-FOR-NOTHING + </h1> + <h2> + By Hjalmar Hjorth Boyesen <br /><br /> By permission of Charles Scribner’s + Sons. <br /><br /><br /> Copyright, 1876, by James R. Osgood & Co + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + Contents + </h2> + <table summary="" style="margin-right: auto; margin-left: auto"> + <tr> + <td> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> I </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0002"> II </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0003"> III </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0004"> IV </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0005"> V </a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + I + </h2> + <p> + Ralph Grimm was born a gentleman, He had the misfortune of coming into the + world some ten years later than might reasonably have been expected. + Colonel Grim and his lady had celebrated twelve anniversaries of their + wedding-day, and had given up all hopes of ever having a son and heir, + when this late comer startled them by his unexpected appearance. The only + previous addition to the family had been a daughter, and she was then ten + summers old. + </p> + <p> + Ralph was a very feeble child, and could only with great difficulty be + persuaded to retain his hold of the slender thread which bound him to + existence. He was rubbed with whiskey, and wrapped in cotton, and given + mare’s milk to drink, and God knows what not, and the Colonel swore a + round oath of paternal delight when at last the infant stopped gasping in + that distressing way and began to breathe like other human beings. The + mother, who, in spite of her anxiety for the child’s life, had found time + to plot for him a career of future magnificence, now suddenly set him + apart for literature, because that was the easiest road to fame, and + disposed of him in marriage to one of the most distinguished families of + the land. She cautiously suggested this to her husband when he came to + take his seat at her bedside; but to her utter astonishment she found that + he had been indulging a similar train of thought, and had already destined + the infant prodigy for the army. She, however, could not give up her + predilection for literature, and the Colonel, who could not bear to be + contradicted in his own house, as he used to say, was getting every minute + louder and more flushed, when, happily, the doctor’s arrival interrupted + the dispute. + </p> + <p> + As Ralph grew up from infancy to childhood, he began to give decided + promise of future distinction. He was fond of sitting down in a corner and + sucking his thumb, which his mother interpreted as the sign of that + brooding disposition peculiar to poets and men of lofty genius. At the age + of five, he had become sole master in the house. He slapped his sister + Hilda in the face, or pulled her hair, when she hesitated to obey him, + tyrannized over his nurse, and sternly refused to go to bed in spite of + his mother’s entreaties. On such occasions, the Colonel would hide his + face behind his newspaper, and chuckle with delight; it was evident that + nature had intended his son for a great military commander. + </p> + <p> + As soon as Ralph himself was old enough to have any thoughts about his + future destiny, he made up his mind that he would like to be a pirate. A + few months later, having contracted an immoderate taste for candy, he + contented himself with the comparatively humble position of a baker; but + when he had read “Robinson Crusoe” he manifested a strong desire to go to + sea in the hope of being wrecked on some desolate island. The parents + spent long evenings gravely discussing these indications of uncommon + genius, and each interpreted them in his or her own way. + </p> + <p> + “He is not like any other child I ever knew,” said the mother. + </p> + <p> + “To be sure,” responded the father, earnestly. “He is a most extraordinary + child. I was a very remarkable child too, even if I do say it myself; but, + as far as I remember, I never aspired to being wrecked on an uninhabited + island.” + </p> + <p> + The Colonel probably spoke the truth; but he forgot to take into account + that he had never read “Robinson Crusoe.” + </p> + <p> + Of Ralph’s school-days there is but little to report, for, to tell the + truth, he did not fancy going to school, as the discipline annoyed him. + The day after his having entered the gymnasium, which was to prepare him + for the Military Academy, the principal saw him waiting at the gate after + his class had been dismissed. He approached him, and asked why he did not + go home with the rest. + </p> + <p> + “I am waiting for the servant to carry my books,” was the boy’s answer. + </p> + <p> + “Give me your books,” said the teacher. + </p> + <p> + Ralph reluctantly obeyed. That day the Colonel was not a little surprised + to see his son marching up the street, and every now and then glancing + behind him with a look of discomfort at the principal, who was following + quietly in his train, carrying a parcel of school-books. Colonel Grim and + his wife, divining the teacher’s intention, agreed that it was a great + outrage, but they did not mention the matter to Ralph. Henceforth, + however, the boy refused to be accompanied by his servant. A week later he + was impudent to the teacher of gymnastics, who whipped him in return. The + Colonel’s rage knew no bounds; he rode in great haste to the gymnasium, + reviled the teacher for presuming to chastise <i>his</i> son, and + committed the boy to the care of a private tutor. + </p> + <p> + At the age of sixteen, Ralph went to the capital with the intention of + entering the Military Academy. He was a tall, handsome youth, slender of + stature, and carried himself as erect as a candle. He had a light, clear + complexion of almost feminine delicacy; blond, curly hair, which he always + kept carefully brushed; a low forehead, and a straight, finely modeled + nose. There was an expression of extreme sensitiveness about the nostrils, + and a look of indolence in the dark-blue eyes. But the <i>ensemble</i> of + his features was pleasing, his dress irreproachable, and his manners bore + no trace of the awkward self-consciousness peculiar to his age. + Immediately on his arrival in the capital he hired a suite of rooms in the + aristocratic part of the city, and furnished them rather expensively, but + in excellent taste. From a bosom friend, whom he met by accident in the + restaurant’s pavilion in the park, he learned that a pair of antlers, a + stuffed eagle, or falcon, and a couple of swords, were indispensable to a + well-appointed apartment. He accordingly bought these articles at a + curiosity shop. During the first weeks of his residence in the city he + made some feeble efforts to perfect himself in mathematics, in which he + suspected he was somewhat deficient. But when the same officious friend + laughed at him, and called him “green,” he determined to trust to fortune, + and henceforth devoted himself the more assiduously to the French ballet, + where he had already made some interesting acquaintances. + </p> + <p> + The time for the examination came; the French ballet did not prove a good + preparation; Ralph failed. It quite shook him for the time, and he felt + humiliated. He had not the courage to tell his father; so he lingered on + from day to day, sat vacantly gazing out of his window, and tried vainly + to interest himself in the busy bustle down on the street. It provoked him + that everybody else should be so light-hearted, when he was, or at least + fancied himself, in trouble. The parlor grew intolerable; he sought refuge + in his bedroom. There he sat one evening (it was the third day after the + examination), and stared out upon the gray stone walls which on all sides + inclosed the narrow courtyard. The round stupid face of the moon stood + tranquilly dozing like a great Limburger cheese suspended under the sky. + </p> + <p> + Ralph, at least, could think of a no more fitting simile. But the + bright-eyed young girl in the window hard by sent a longing look up to the + same moon, and thought of her distant home on the fjords, where the + glaciers stood like hoary giants, and caught the yellow moonbeams on their + glittering shields of snow. She had been reading “Ivanhoe” all the + afternoon, until the twilight had overtaken her quite unaware, and now she + suddenly remembered that she had forgotten to write her German exercise. + She lifted her face and saw a pair of sad, vacant eyes gazing at her from + the next window in the angle of the court She was a little startled at + first, but in the next moment she thought of her German exercise and took + heart. + </p> + <p> + “Do you know German?” she said; then immediately repented that she had + said it. + </p> + <p> + “I do,” was the answer. + </p> + <p> + She took up her apron and began to twist it with an air of embarrassment. + </p> + <p> + “I didn’t mean anything,” she whispered, at last. “I only wanted to know.” + </p> + <p> + “You are very kind.” + </p> + <p> + That answer roused her; he was evidently making sport of her. + </p> + <p> + “Well, then, if you do, you may write my exercise for me. I have marked + the place in the book.” + </p> + <p> + And she flung her book over to the window, and he caught it on the edge of + the sill, just as it was falling. + </p> + <p> + “You are a very strange girl,” he remarked, turning over the leaves of the + book, although it was too dark to read. “How old are you?” + </p> + <p> + “I shall be fourteen six weeks before Christmas,” answered she, frankly. + </p> + <p> + “Then I excuse you.” + </p> + <p> + “No, indeed,” cried she, vehemently. “You needn’t excuse me at all. If you + don’t want to write my exercise, you may send the book back again. I am + very sorry I spoke to you, and I shall never do it again.” + </p> + <p> + “But you will not get the book back again without the exercise,” replied + he, quietly. “Good-night.” + </p> + <p> + The girl stood long looking after him, hoping that he would return. Then, + with a great burst of repentance, she hid her face in her lap, and began + to cry. + </p> + <p> + “Oh, dear, I didn’t mean to be rude,” she sobbed. “But it was Ivanhoe and + Rebecca who upset me.” + </p> + <p> + The next morning she was up before daylight, and waited for two long hours + in great suspense before the curtain of his window was raised. He greeted + her politely; threw a hasty glance around the court to see if he was + observed, and then tossed her book dexterously over into her hands. + </p> + <p> + “I have pinned the written exercise to the flyleaf,” he said. “You will + probably have time to copy it before breakfast.” + </p> + <p> + “I am ever so much obliged to you,” she managed to stammer. + </p> + <p> + He looked so tall and handsome, and grown-up, and her remorse stuck in her + throat, and threatened to choke her. She had taken him for a boy as he sat + there in his window the evening before. + </p> + <p> + “By the way, what is your name?” he asked, carelessly, as he turned to go. + </p> + <p> + “Bertha.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, my dear Bertha, I am happy to have made your acquaintance.” + </p> + <p> + And he again made her a polite bow, and entered his parlor. + </p> + <p> + “How provokingly familiar he is,” thought she; “but no one can deny that + he is handsome.” + </p> + <p> + The bright roguish face of the young girl haunted Ralph during the whole + next week. He had been in love at least ten times before, of course; but, + like most boys, with young ladies far older than himself. He found himself + frequently glancing over to her window in the hope of catching another + glimpse of her face; but the curtain was always drawn down, and Bertha + remained invisible. During the second week, however, she relented, and + they had many a pleasant chat together. He now volunteered to write all + her exercises, and she made no objections. He learned that she was the + daughter of a well-to-do peasant in the sea-districts of Norway (and it + gave him quite a shock to hear it), and that she was going to school in + the city, and boarded with an old lady who kept a <i>pension</i> in the + house adjoining the one in which he lived. + </p> + <p> + One day in the autumn Ralph was surprised by the sudden arrival of his + father, and the fact of his failure in the examination could no longer be + kept a secret. The old Colonel flared up at once when Ralph made his + confession; the large veins upon his forehead swelled; he grew coppery-red + in his face, and stormed up and down the floor, until his son became + seriously alarmed; but, to his great relief, he was soon made aware that + his father’s wrath was not turned against him personally, but against the + officials of the Military Academy who had rejected him. The Colonel took + it as insult to his own good name and irreproachable standing as an + officer; he promptly refused any other explanation, and vainly racked his + brain to remember if any youthful folly of his could possibly have made + him enemies among the teachers of the Academy. He at last felt satisfied + that it was envy of his own greatness and rapid advancement which had + induced the rascals to take vengeance on his son. Ralph reluctantly + followed his father back to the country town where the latter was + stationed, and the fair-haired Bertha vanished from his horizon. His + mother’s wish now prevailed, and he began, in his own easy way, to prepare + himself for the University. He had little taste for Cicero, and still less + for Virgil, but with the use of a “pony” he soon gained sufficient + knowledge of these authors to be able to talk in a sort of patronizing way + about them, to the great delight of his fond parents. He took quite a + fancy, however, to the ode in Horace ending with the lines: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Dolce ridentem, + Dulce loqucntem, + Lalagen amabo. +</pre> + <p> + And in his thought he substituted for Lalage the fair-haired Bertha, quite + regardless of the requirements of the metre. + </p> + <p> + To make a long story short, three years later Ralph returned to the + capital, and, after having worn out several tutors, actually succeeded in + entering the University. + </p> + <p> + The first year of college life is a happy time to every young man, and + Ralph enjoyed its processions, its parliamentary gatherings, and its + leisure, as well as the rest. He was certainly not the man to be + sentimental over the loss of a young girl whom, moreover, he had only + known for a few weeks. Nevertheless, he thought of her at odd times, but + not enough to disturb his pleasure. The standing of his family, his own + handsome appearance, and his immaculate linen opened to him the best + houses of the city, and he became a great favorite in society. At lectures + he was seldom seen, but more frequently in the theatres, where he used to + come in during the middle of the first act, take his station in front of + the orchestra box, and eye, through his lorgnette, by turns, the actresses + and the ladies of the parquet. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0002" id="link2H_4_0002"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + II + </h2> + <p> + Two months passed, and then came the great annual ball which the students + give at the opening of the second semester. Ralph was a man of importance + that evening; first, because he belonged to a great family; secondly, + because he was the handsomest man of his year. He wore a large golden star + on his breast (for his fellow-students had made him a Knight of the Golden + Boar) and a badge of colored ribbons in his buttonhole. + </p> + <p> + The ball was a brilliant affair, and everybody was in excellent spirits, + especially the ladies. Ralph danced incessantly, twirled his soft + mustache, and uttered amiable platitudes. It was toward midnight, just as + the company was moving out to supper, that he caught the glance of a pair + of dark-blue eyes, which suddenly drove the blood to his cheeks and + hastened the beating of his heart. But when he looked once more the + dark-blue eyes were gone, and his unruly heart went on hammering against + his side. He laid his hand on his breast and glanced furtively at his fair + neighbor, but she looked happy and unconcerned, for the flavor of the ice + cream was delicious. It seemed an endless meal, but, when it was done, + Ralph rose, led his partner back to the ballroom, and hastily excused + himself. His glance wandered round the wide hall, seeking the + well-remembered eyes once more, and, at length, finding them in a remote + corner, half hid behind a moving wall of promenaders. In another moment he + was at Bertha’s side. + </p> + <p> + “You must have been purposely hiding yourself, Miss Bertha,” said he, when + the usual greetings were exchanged. “I have not caught a glimpse of you + all this evening, until a few moments ago.” + </p> + <p> + “But I have seen you all the while,” answered the girl, frankly. “I knew + you at once as I entered the hall.” + </p> + <p> + “If I had but known that you were here,” resumed Ralph, as it were + invisibly expanding with an agreeable sense of dignity, “I assure you you + would have been the very first one I should have sought.” + </p> + <p> + She raised her large grave eyes to his, as if questioning his sincerity; + but she made no answer. + </p> + <p> + “Good gracious!” thought Ralph. “She takes things terribly in earnest.” + </p> + <p> + “You look so serious, Miss Bertha,” said he, after a moment’s pause. “I + remember you as a bright-eyed, flaxen-haired little girl, who threw her + German exercise-book to me across the yard, and whose merry laughter still + rings pleasantly in my memory, I confess I don’t find it quite easy to + identify this grave young lady with my merry friend of three years ago.” + </p> + <p> + “In other words, you are disappointed at not finding me the same as I used + to be.” + </p> + <p> + “No, not exactly that; but—” + </p> + <p> + Ralph paused and looked puzzled. There was something in the earnestness of + her manner which made a facetious compliment seem grossly inappropriate, + and in the moment no other escape suggested itself. + </p> + <p> + “But what?” demanded Bertha, mercilessly. + </p> + <p> + “Have you ever lost an old friend?” asked he, abruptly. + </p> + <p> + “Yes; how so?” + </p> + <p> + “Then,” answered he, while his features lighted up with a happy + inspiration—“then you will appreciate my situation. I fondly + cherished my old picture of you in my memory. Now I have lost it, and I + can not help regretting the loss. I do not mean, however, to imply that + this new acquaintance—this second edition of yourself, so to speak—will + prove less interesting.” + </p> + <p> + She again sent him a grave, questioning look, and began to gaze intently + upon the stone in her bracelet. + </p> + <p> + “I suppose you will laugh at me,” began she, while a sudden blush flitted + over her countenance. “But this is my first ball, and I feel as if I had + rushed into a whirlpool, from which I have, since the first rash plunge + was made, been vainly trying to escape. I feel so dreadfully forlorn. I + hardly know anybody here except my cousin, who invited me, and I hardly + think I know him either.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, since you are irredeemably committed,” replied Ralph, as the music, + after some prefatory flourishes, broke into the delicious rhythm of a + Strauss waltz, “then it is no use struggling against fate. Come, let us + make the plunge together. Misery loves company.” + </p> + <p> + He offered her his arm, and she rose, somewhat hesitatingly, and followed. + </p> + <p> + “I am afraid,” she whispered, as they fell into line with the procession + that was moving down the long hall, “that you have asked me to dance + merely because I said I felt forlorn. If that is the case, I should prefer + to be led back to my seat.” + </p> + <p> + “What a base imputation!” cried Ralph. + </p> + <p> + There was something so charmingly <i>naive</i> in this self-depreciation—something + so altogether novel in his experience, and, he could not help adding, just + a little bit countrified. His spirits rose; he began to relish keenly his + position as an experienced man of the world, and, in the agreeable glow of + patronage and conscious superiority, chatted with hearty <i>abandon</i> + with his little rustic beauty. + </p> + <p> + “If your dancing is as perfect as your German exercises were,” said she, + laughing, as they swung out upon the floor, “then I promise myself a good + deal of pleasure from our meeting.” + </p> + <p> + “Never fear,” answered he, quickly reversing his step, and whirling with + many a capricious turn away among the thronging couples. + </p> + <p> + When Ralph drove home in his carriage toward morning he briefly summed up + his impressions of Bertha in the following adjectives: intelligent, + delightfully unsophisticated, a little bit verdant, but devilish pretty. + </p> + <p> + Some weeks later Colonel Grim received an appointment at the fortress of + Aggershuus, and immediately took up his residence in the capital. He saw + that his son cut a fine figure in the highest circles of society, and + expressed his gratification in the most emphatic terms. If he had known, + however, that Ralph was in the habit of visiting, with alarming + regularity, at the house of a plebeian merchant in a somewhat obscure + street, he would, no doubt, have been more chary of his praise. But the + Colonel suspected nothing, and it was well for the peace of the family + that he did not. It may have been cowardice in Ralph that he never + mentioned Bertha’s name to his family or to his aristocratic + acquaintances; for, to be candid, he himself felt ashamed of the power she + exerted over him, and by turns pitied and ridiculed himself for pursuing + so inglorious a conquest. Nevertheless it wounded his egotism that she + never showed any surprise at seeing him, that she received him with with a + certain frank unceremoniousness, which, however, was very becoming to her; + that she invariably went on with her work heedless of his presence, and in + everything treated him as if she had been his equal. She persisted in + talking with him in a half sisterly fashion about his studies and his + future career, warned him with great solicitude against some of his + reprobate friends, of whose merry adventures he had told her; and if he + ventured to compliment her on her beauty or her accomplishments, she would + look up gravely from her sewing, or answer him in a way which seemed to + banish the idea of love-making into the land of the impossible. He was + constantly tormented by the suspicion that she secretly disapproved of + him, and that from a mere moral interest in his welfare she was + conscientiously laboring to make him a better man. Day after day he parted + from her feeling humiliated, faint-hearted, and secretly indignant both at + himself and her, and day after day he returned only to renew the same + experience. At last it became too intolerable, he could endure it no + longer. Let it make or break, certainty, at all risks, was at least + preferable to this sickening suspense. That he loved her, he could no + longer doubt; let his parents foam and fret as much as they pleased; for + once he was going to stand on his own legs. And in the end, he thought, + they would have to yield, for they had no son but him. + </p> + <p> + Bertha was going to return to her home on the sea-coast in a week. Ralph + stood in the little low-ceiled parlor, as she imagined, to bid her + good-by. They had been speaking of her father, her brothers, and the farm, + and she had expressed the wish that if he ever should come to that part of + the country he might pay them a visit. Her words had kindled a vague hope + in his breast, but in their very frankness and friendly regard there was + something which slew the hope they had begotten. He held her hand in his, + and her large confiding eyes shone with an emotion which was beautiful, + but was yet not love. + </p> + <p> + “If you were but a peasant born like myself,” said she, in a voice which + sounded almost tender, “then I should like to talk to you as I would to my + own brother; but—” + </p> + <p> + “No, not brother, Bertha,” cried he, with sudden vehemence; “I love you + better than I ever loved any earthly being, and if you knew how firmly + this love has clutched at the roots of my heart, you would perhaps—you + would at least not look so reproachfully at me.” + </p> + <p> + She dropped his hand, and stood for a moment silent. + </p> + <p> + “I am sorry that it should have come to this, Mr. Grim,” said she, visibly + struggling for calmness. “And I am perhaps more to blame than you.” + </p> + <p> + “Blame,” muttered he, “why are you to blame?” + </p> + <p> + “Because I do not love you; although I sometimes feared that this might + come. But then again I persuaded myself that it could not be so.” + </p> + <p> + He took a step toward the door, laid his hand on the knob, and gazed down + before him. + </p> + <p> + “Bertha,” began he, slowly, raising his head, “you have always disapproved + of me, you have despised me in your heart, but you thought you would be + doing a good work if you succeeded in making a man of me.” + </p> + <p> + “You use strong language,” answered she, hesitatingly; “but there is truth + in what you say.” + </p> + <p> + Again there was a long pause, in which the ticking of the old parlor clock + grew louder and louder. + </p> + <p> + “Then,” he broke out at last, “tell me before we part if I can do nothing + to gain—I will not say your love—but only your regard? What + would you do if you were in my place?” + </p> + <p> + “My advice you will hardly heed, and I do not even know that it would be + well if you did. But if I were a man in your position, I should break with + my whole past, start out into the world where nobody knew me, and where I + should be dependent only upon my own strength, and there I would conquer a + place for myself, if it were only for the satisfaction of knowing that I + was really a man. Here cushions are sewed under your arms, a hundred + invisible threads bind you to a life of idleness and vanity, everybody is + ready to carry you on his hands, the road is smoothed for you, every stone + carefully moved out of your path, and you will probably go to your grave + without having ever harbored one earnest thought, without having done one + manly deed.” + </p> + <p> + Ralph stood transfixed, gazing at her with open mouth; he felt a kind of + stupid fright, as if some one had suddenly seized him by the shoulders and + shaken him violently. He tried vainly to remove his eyes from Bertha. She + held him as by a powerful spell. He saw that her face was lighted with an + altogether new beauty; he noticed the deep glow upon her cheek, the + brilliancy of her eye, the slight quiver of her lip. But he saw all this + as one sees things in a half-trance, without attempting to account for + them; the door between his soul and his senses was closed. + </p> + <p> + “I know that I have been bold in speaking to you in this way,” she said at + last, seating herself in a chair at the window. “But it was yourself who + asked me. And I have felt all the time that I should have to tell you this + before we parted.” + </p> + <p> + “And,” answered he, making a strong effort to appear calm, “if I follow + your advice, will you allow me to see you once more before you go?” + </p> + <p> + “I shall remain here another week, and shall, during that time, always be + ready to receive you.” + </p> + <p> + “Thank you. Good-by.” + </p> + <p> + “Good-by.” + </p> + <p> + Ralph carefully avoided all the fashionable thoroughfares; he felt + degraded before himself, and he had an idea that every man could read his + humiliation in his countenance. Now he walked on quickly, striking the + sidewalk with his heels; now, again, he fell into an uneasy, reckless + saunter, according as the changing moods in’ spired defiance of his + sentence, or a qualified surrender. And, as he walked on, the bitterness + grew within him, and he piteously reviled himself for having allowed + himself to be made a fool of by “that little country goose,” when he was + well aware that there were hundreds of women of the best families of the + land who would feel honored at receiving his attentions. But this sort of + reasoning he knew to be both weak and contemptible, and his better self + soon rose in loud rebellion. + </p> + <p> + “After all,” he muttered, “in the main thing she was right. I am a + miserable good-for-nothing, a hothouse plant, a poor stick, and if I were + a woman myself, I don’t think I should waste my affections on a man of + that calibre.” + </p> + <p> + Then he unconsciously fell to analyzing Bertha’s character, wondering + vaguely that a person who moved so timidly in social life, appearing so + diffident, from an ever-present fear of blundering against the established + forms of etiquette, could judge so quickly, and with such a merciless + certainty, whenever a moral question, a question of right and wrong, was + at issue. And, pursuing the same train of thought, he contrasted her with + himself, who moved in the highest spheres of society as in his native + element, heedless of moral scruples, and conscious of no loftier motive + for his actions than the immediate pleasure of the moment. + </p> + <p> + As Ralph turned the corner of a street, he heard himself hailed from the + other sidewalk by a chorus of merry voices. + </p> + <p> + “Ah, my dear Baroness,” cried a young man, springing across the street and + grasping Ralph’s hand (all his student friends called him the Baroness), + “in the name of this illustrious company, allow me to salute you. But why + the deuce—what is the matter with you? If you have the <i>Katzenjammer</i>* + soda-water is the thing. Come along—it’s my treat!” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * <i>Katzenjammer</i> is the sensation a man has the morning + after a carousal. +</pre> + <p> + The students instantly thronged around Ralph, who stood distractedly + swinging his cane and smiling idiotically. + </p> + <p> + “I am not quite well,” said he; “leave me alone.” + </p> + <p> + “No, to be sure, you don’t look well,” cried a jolly youth, against whom + Bertha had frequently warned him; “but a glass of sherry will soon restore + you. It would be highly immoral to leave you in this condition without + taking care of you.” + </p> + <p> + Ralph again vainly tried to remonstrate; but the end was, that he + reluctantly followed. + </p> + <p> + He had always been a conspicuous figure in the student world; but that + night he astonished his friends by his eloquence, his reckless humor, and + his capacity for drinking. He made a speech for “Woman,” which bristled + with wit, cynicism, and sarcastic epigrams. One young man, named Vinter, + who was engaged, undertook to protest against his sweeping condemnation, + and declared that Ralph, who was a universal favorite among the ladies, + ought to be the last to revile them. + </p> + <p> + “If,” he went on, “the Baroness should propose to six well-known ladies + here in this city whom I could mention, I would wager six Johannisbergers, + and an equal amount of champagne, that every one of them would accept + him.” + </p> + <p> + The others loudly applauded this proposal, and Ralph accepted the wager. + The letters were written on the spot, and immediately despatched. Toward + morning, the merry carousal broke up, and Ralph was conducted in triumph + to his home. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0003" id="link2H_4_0003"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + III + </h2> + <p> + Two days later, Ralph again knocked on Bertha’s door. He looked paler than + usual, almost haggard; his immaculate linen was a little crumpled, and he + carried no cane; his lips were tightly compressed, and his face wore an + air of desperate resolution. + </p> + <p> + “It is done,” he said, as he seated himself opposite her. “I am going.” + </p> + <p> + “Going!” cried she, startled at his unusual appearance. “How, where?” + </p> + <p> + “To America. I sail to-night. I have followed your advice, you see. I have + cut off the last bridge behind me.” + </p> + <p> + “But, Ralph,” she exclaimed, in a voice of alarm. “Something dreadful must + have happened. Tell me quick; I must know it.” + </p> + <p> + “No; nothing dreadful,” muttered he, smiling bitterly. “I have made a + little scandal, that is all. My father told me to-day to go to the devil, + if I chose, and my mother gave me five hundred dollars to help me along on + the way. If you wish to know, here is the explanation.” + </p> + <p> + And he pulled from his pocket six perfumed and carefully folded notes, and + threw them into her lap. + </p> + <p> + “Do you wish me to read them?” she asked, with growing surprise. + </p> + <p> + “Certainly. Why not?” + </p> + <p> + She hastily opened one note after the other, and read. + </p> + <p> + “But, Ralph,” she cried, springing up from her seat, while her eyes flamed + with indignation, “what does this mean? What have you done?” + </p> + <p> + “I didn’t think it needed any explanation,” replied he, with feigned + indifference. “I proposed to them all, and, you see, they all accepted me. + I received all these letters to-day. I only wished to know whether the + whole world regarded me as such a worthless scamp as you told me I was.” + </p> + <p> + She did not answer, but sat mutely staring at him, fiercely crumpling a + rose-colored note in her hand. He began to feel uncomfortable under her + gaze, and threw himself about uneasily in his chair. + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said he, at length, rising, “I suppose there is nothing more. + Good-by.” + </p> + <p> + “One moment, Mr. Grim,” demanded she, sternly. “Since I have already said + so much, and you have obligingly revealed to me a new side of your + character, I claim the right to correct the opinion I expressed of you at + our last meeting.” + </p> + <p> + “I am all attention.” + </p> + <p> + “I did think, Mr. Grim,” began she, breathing hard, and steadying herself + against the table at which she stood, “that you were a very selfish man—an + embodiment of selfishness, absolute and supreme, but I did not believe + that you were wicked.” + </p> + <p> + “And what convinced you that I was selfish, if I may ask?” + </p> + <p> + “What convinced me?” repeated she, in a tone of inexpressible contempt. + “When did you ever act from any generous regard for others? What good did + you ever do to anybody?” + </p> + <p> + “You might ask, with equal justice, what good I ever did to myself.” + </p> + <p> + “In a certain sense, yes; because to gratify a mere momentary wish is + hardly doing one’s self good.” + </p> + <p> + “Then I have, at all events, followed the Biblical precept, and treated my + neighbor very much as I treat myself.” + </p> + <p> + “I did think,” continued Bertha, without heeding the remark, “that you + were at bottom kind-hearted, but too hopelessly well-bred ever to commit + an act of any decided complexion, either good or bad. Now I see that I + have misjudged you, and that you are capable of outraging the most sacred + feelings of a woman’s heart in mere wantonness, or for the sake of + satisfying a base curiosity, which never could have entered the mind of an + upright and generous man.” + </p> + <p> + The hard, benumbed look in Ralph’s face thawed in the warmth of her + presence, and her words, though stern, touched a secret spring in his + heart. He made two or three vain attempts to speak, then suddenly broke + down, and cried: + </p> + <p> + “Bertha, Bertha, even if you scorn me, have patience with me, and listen.” + </p> + <p> + And he told her, in rapid, broken sentences, how his love for her had + grown from day to day, until he could no longer master it; and how, in an + unguarded moment, when his pride rose in fierce conflict against his love, + he had done this reckless deed of which he was now heartily ashamed. The + fervor of his words touched her, for she felt that they were sincere. + Large mute tears trembled in her eyelashes as she sat gazing tenderly at + him, and in the depth of her soul the wish awoke that she might have been + able to return this great and strong love of his; for she felt that in + this love lay the germ of a new, of a stronger and better man. She + noticed, with a half-regretful pleasure, his handsome figure, his + delicately shaped hands, and the noble cast of his features; an + overwhelming pity for him rose within her, and she began to reproach + herself for having spoken so harshly, and, as she now thought, so + unjustly. Perhaps he read in her eyes the unspoken wish. He seized her + hand, and his words fell with a warm and alluring cadence upon her ear. + </p> + <p> + “I shall not see you for a long time to come, Bertha,” said he, “but if at + the end of five or six years your hand is still free, and I return another + man—a man to whom you could safely intrust your happiness—would + you then listen to what I may have to say to you? For I promise, by all + that we both hold sacred—” + </p> + <p> + “No, no,” interrupted she, hastily. “Promise nothing. It would be unjust + to yourself, and perhaps also to me; for a sacred promise is a terrible + thing, Ralph. Let us both remain free; and, if you return and still love + me, then come, and I shall receive you and listen to you. And even if you + have outgrown your love, which is, indeed, more probable, come still to + visit me wherever I may be, and we shall meet as friends and rejoice in + the meeting.” + </p> + <p> + “You know best,” he murmured. “Let it be as you have said.” + </p> + <p> + He arose, took her face between his hands, gazed long and tenderly into + her eyes, pressed a kiss upon her forehead, and hastened away. + </p> + <p> + That night Ralph boarded the steamer for Hull, and three weeks later + landed in New York. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0004" id="link2H_4_0004"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + IV + </h2> + <p> + The first three months of Ralph’s sojourn in America were spent in vain + attempts to obtain a situation. Day after day he walked down Broadway, + calling at various places of business, and night after night he returned + to his cheerless room with a faint heart and declining spirits. It was, + after all, a more serious thing than he had imagined, to cut the cable + which binds one to the land of one’s birth. There a hundred subtile + influences, the existence of which no one suspects until the moment they + are withdrawn, unite to keep one in the straight path of rectitude, or at + least of external respectability; and Ralph’s life had been all in + society; the opinion of his fellow-men had been the one force to which he + implicitly deferred, and the conscience by which he had been wont to test + his actions had been nothing but the aggregate judgment of his friends. To + such a man the isolation and the utter irresponsibility of a life among + strangers was tenfold more dangerous; and Ralph found, to his horror, that + his character contained innumerable latent possibilities which the + easy-going life in his home probably never would have revealed to him. It + often cut him to the quick, when, on entering an office in his daily + search for employment, he was met by hostile or suspicious glances, or + when, as it occasionally happened, the door was slammed in his face, as if + he were a vagabond or an impostor. Then the wolf was often roused within + him, and he felt a momentary wild desire to become what the people here + evidently believed him to be. Many a night he sauntered irresolutely about + the gambling places in obscure streets, and the glare of light, the rude + shouts and clamors in the same moment repelled and attracted him. If he + went to the devil, who would care? His father had himself pointed out the + way to him; and nobody could blame him if he followed the advice. But then + again a memory emerged from that chamber of his soul which still he held + sacred; and Bertha’s deep-blue eyes gazed upon him with their earnest look + of tender warning and regret. + </p> + <p> + When the summer was half gone, Ralph had gained many a hard victory over + himself, and learned many a useful lesson; and at length he swallowed his + pride, divested himself of his fine clothes, and accepted a position as + assistant gardener at a villa on the Hudson. And as he stood perspiring + with a spade in his hand, and a cheap broad-brimmed straw hat on his head, + he often took a grim pleasure in picturing to himself how his aristocratic + friends at home would receive him if he should introduce himself to them + in this new costume. + </p> + <p> + “After all, it was only my position they cared for,” he reflected, + bitterly; “without my father’s name what would I be to them?” + </p> + <p> + Then, again, there was a certain satisfaction in knowing that, for his + present situation, humble as it was, he was indebted to nobody but + himself; and the thought that Bertha’s eyes, if they could have seen him + now, would have dwelt upon him with pleasure and approbation, went far to + console him for his aching back, his sunburned face, and his swollen and + blistered hands. + </p> + <p> + One day, as Ralph was raking the gravel-walks in the garden, his + employer’s daughter, a young lady of seventeen, came out and spoke to him. + His culture and refinement of manner struck her with wonder, and she asked + him to tell her his history; but then he suddenly grew very grave, and she + forbore pressing him. From that time she attached a kind of romantic + interest to him, and finally induced her father to obtain him a situation + that would be more to his taste. And, before winter came, Ralph saw the + dawn of a new future glimmering before him. He had wrestled bravely with + fate, and had once more gained a victory. He began the career in which + success and distinction awaited him as proofreader on a newspaper in the + city. He had fortunately been familiar with the English language before he + left home, and by the strength of his will he conquered all difficulties. + At the end of two years he became attached to the editorial staff; new + ambitious hopes, hitherto foreign to his mind, awoke within him; and with + joyous tumult of heart he saw life opening its wide vistas before him, and + he labored on manfully to repair the losses of the past, and to prepare + himself for greater usefulness in times to come. He felt in himself a + stronger and fuller manhood, as if the great arteries of the vast + universal world-life pulsed in his own being. The drowsy, indolent + existence at home appeared like a dull remote dream from which he had + awaked, and he blessed the destiny which, by its very sternness, had + mercifully saved him; he blessed her, too, who, from the very want of love + for him, had, perhaps, made him worthier of love. + </p> + <p> + The years flew rapidly. Society had flung its doors open to him, and what + was more, he had found some warm friends, in whose houses he could come + and go at pleasure. He enjoyed keenly the privilege of daily association + with high-minded and refined women; their eager activity of intellect + stimulated him, their exquisite ethereal grace and their delicately + chiseled beauty satisfied his æsthetic cravings, and the responsive + vivacity of their nature prepared him ever new surprises. He felt a + strange fascination in the presence of these women, and the conviction + grew upon him that their type of womanhood was superior to any he had + hitherto known. And by way of refuting his own argument, he would draw + from his pocketbook the photograph of Bertha, which had a secret + compartment there all to itself, and, gazing tenderly at it, would eagerly + defend her against the disparaging reflections which the involuntary + comparison had provoked. And still, how could he help seeing that her + features, though well molded, lacked animation; that her eye, with its + deep, trustful glance, was not brilliant, and that the calm earnestness of + her face, when compared with the bright, intellectual beauty of his + present friends, appeared pale and simple, like a violet in a bouquet of + vividly colored roses? It gave him a quick pang, when, at times, he was + forced to admit this; nevertheless, it was the truth. + </p> + <p> + After six years of residence in America, Ralph had gained a very high + reputation as a journalist of rare culture and ability, and in 1867 he was + sent to the World’s Exhibition in Paris, as correspondent of the paper on + which he had during all these years been employed. What wonder, then, that + he started for Europe a few weeks before his presence was needed in the + imperial city, and that he steered his course directly toward the fjord + valley where Bertha had her home? It was she who had bidden him Godspeed + when he fled from the land of his birth, and she, too, should receive his + first greeting on his return. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0005" id="link2H_4_0005"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + V + </h2> + <p> + The sun had fortified itself behind a citadel of flaming clouds, and the + upper forest region shone with a strange ethereal glow, while the lower + plains were wrapped in shadow; but the shadow itself had a strong + suffusion of color. The mountain peaks rose cold and blue in the distance. + </p> + <p> + Ralph, having inquired his way of the boatman who had landed him at the + pier, walked rapidly along the beach, with a small valise in his hand, and + a light summer overcoat flung over his shoulder. Many half-thoughts grazed + his mind, and ere the first had taken shape, the second and the third came + and chased it away. And still they all in some fashion had reference to + Bertha; for in a misty, abstract way, she filled his whole mind; but for + some indefinable reason, he was afraid to give free rein to the sentiment + which lurked in the remoter corners of his soul. + </p> + <p> + Onward he hastened, while his heart throbbed with the quickening tempo of + mingled expectation and fear. Now and then one of those chill gusts of + air, which seem to be careering about aimlessly in the atmosphere during + early summer, would strike into his face, and recal! him to a keener + self-consciousness. + </p> + <p> + Ralph concluded, from his increasing agitation, that he must be very near + Bertha’s home. He stopped and looked around him. He saw a large maple at + the roadside, some thirty steps from where he was standing, and the girl + who was sitting under it, resting her head in her hand and gazing out over + the sea, he recognized in an instant to be Bertha. He sprang up on the + road, not crossing, however, her line of vision, and approached her + noiselessly from behind. + </p> + <p> + “Bertha,” he whispered. + </p> + <p> + She gave a little joyous cry, sprang up, and made a gesture as if to throw + herself in his arms; then suddenly checked herself, blushed crimson, and + moved a step backward. + </p> + <p> + “You came so suddenly,” she murmured. + </p> + <p> + “But, Bertha,” cried he (and the full bass of his voice rang through her + very soul), “have I gone into exile and waited these many years for so + cold a welcome?” + </p> + <p> + “You have changed so much, Ralph,” she answered, with that old grave smile + which he knew so well, and stretched out both her hands toward him. “And I + have thought of you so much since you went away, and blamed myself because + I had judged you so harshly, and wondered that you could listen to me so + patiently, and never bear me any malice for what I said.” + </p> + <p> + “If you had said a word less,” declared Ralph, seating himself at her side + on the greensward, “or if you had varnished it over with politeness, then + you would probably have failed to produce any effect and I should not have + been burdened with that heavy debt of gratitude which I now owe you. I was + a pretty thick-skinned animal in those days, Bertha. You said the right + word at the right moment; you gave me a bold and a good piece of advice, + which my own ingenuity would never have suggested to me. I will not thank + you, because, in so grave a case as this, spoken thanks sound like a mere + mockery. Whatever I am, Bertha, and whatever I may hope to be, I owe it + all to that hour.” + </p> + <p> + She listened with rapture to the manly assurance of his voice; her eyes + dwelt with unspeakable joy upon his strong, bronzed features, his full + thick blond beard, and the vigorous proportions of his frame. Many and + many a time during his absence had she wondered how he would look if he + ever came back, and with that minute conscientiousness which, as it were, + pervaded her whole character, she had held herself responsible before God + for his fate, prayed for him, and trembled lest evil powers should gain + the ascendency over his soul. + </p> + <p> + On their way to the house they talked together of many things, but in a + guarded, cautious fashion, and without the cheerful abandonment of former + years. They both, as it were, groped their way carefully in each other’s + minds, and each vaguely felt that there was something in the other’s + thought which it was not well to touch unbidden. Bertha saw that all her + fears for him had been groundless, and his very appearance lifted the + whole weight of responsibility from her breast; and still, did she rejoice + at her deliverance from her burden? Ah, no; in this moment she knew that + that which she had foolishly cherished as the best and noblest part of + herself had been but a selfish need of her own heart. She feared that she + had only taken that interest in him which one feels in a thing of one’s + own making, and now, when she saw that he had risen quite above her; that + he was free and strong, and could have no more need of her, she had, + instead of generous pleasure at his success, but a painful sense of + emptiness, as if something very dear had been taken from her. + </p> + <p> + Ralph, too, was loth to analyze the impression his old love made upon him. + His feelings were of so complex a nature, he was anxious to keep his more + magnanimous impulses active, and he strove hard to convince himself that + she was still the same to him as she had been before they had ever parted. + But, alas! though the heart be warm and generous, the eye is a merciless + critic. And the man who had moved on the wide arena of the world, whose + mind had housed the large thoughts of this century, and expanded with its + invigorating breath—was he to blame because he had unconsciously + outgrown his old provincial self, and could no more judge by its + standards? + </p> + <p> + Bertha’s father was a peasant, but he had, by his lumber trade, acquired + what in Norway was called a very handsome fortune. He received his guest + with dignified reserve, and Ralph thought he detected in his eyes a + lurking look of distrust. “I know your errand,” that look seemed to say, + “but you had better give it up at once. It will be of no use for you to + try.” + </p> + <p> + And after supper, as Ralph and Bertha sat talking confidingly with each + other at the window, he sent his daughter a quick, sharp glance, and then, + without ceremony, commanded her to go to bed. Ralph’s heart gave a great + thump within him; not because he feared the old man, but because his + words, as well as his glances, revealed to him the sad history of these + long, patient years. He doubted no longer that the love which he had once + so ardently desired was his at last; and he made a silent vow that, come + what might, he would remain faithful. + </p> + <p> + As he came down to breakfast the next morning, he found Bertha sitting at + the window, engaged in hemming what appeared to be a rough kitchen towel. + She bent eagerly over her work, and only a vivid flush upon her cheek told + him that she had noticed his coming. He took a chair, seated himself + opposite her, and bade her “good-morning.” She raised her head, and showed + him a sweet, troubled countenance, which the early sunlight illumined with + a high spiritual beauty. It reminded him forcibly of those pale, + sweet-faced saints of Fra Angelico, with whom the frail flesh seems ever + on the point of yielding to the ardent aspirations of the spirit. And + still even in this moment he could not prevent his eyes from observing + that one side of her forefinger was rough from sewing, and that the + whiteness of her arm, which the loose sleeves displayed, contrasted + strongly with the browned and sunburned complexion of her hands. + </p> + <p> + After breakfast they again walked together on the beach, and Ralph, having + once formed his resolution, now talked freely of the New World—of + his sphere of activity there; of his friends and of his plans for the + future; and she listened to him with a mild, perplexed look in her eyes, + as if trying vainly to follow the flight of his thoughts. And he wondered, + with secret dismay, whether she was still the same strong, brave-hearted + girl whom he had once accounted almost bold; whether the life in this + narrow valley, amid a hundred petty and depressing cares, had not cramped + her spiritual growth, and narrowed the sphere of her thought. Or was she + still the same, and was it only he who had changed? At last he gave + utterance to his wonder, and she answered him in those grave, earnest + tones which seemed in themselves to be half a refutation of his doubts. + </p> + <p> + “It was easy for me to give you daring advice then, Ralph,” she said. + “Like most school-girls, I thought that life was a great and glorious + thing, and that happiness was a fruit which hung within reach of every + hand. Now I have lived for six years trying single-handed to relieve the + want and suffering of the needy people with whom I come in contact, and + their squalor and wretchedness have sickened me, and, what is still worse, + I feel that all I can do is as a drop in the ocean, and, after all, + amounts to nothing. I know I am no longer the same reckless girl who, with + the very best intention, sent you wandering through the wide world; and I + thank God that it proved to be for your good, although the whole now + appears quite incredible to me. My thoughts have moved so long within the + narrow circle of these mountains that they have lost their youthful + elasticity, and can no more rise above them.” + </p> + <p> + Ralph detected, in the midst of her despondency, a spark of her former + fire, and grew eloquent in his endeavors to persuade her that she was + unjust to herself, and that there was but a wider sphere of life needed to + develop all the latent powers of her rich nature. + </p> + <p> + At the dinner-table, her father again sat eying his guest with that same + cold look of distrust and suspicion. And when the meal was at an end, he + rose abruptly and called his daughter into another room. Presently Ralph + heard his angry voice resounding through the house, interrupted now and + then by a woman’s sobs, and a subdued, passionate pleading. When Bertha + again entered the room, her eyes were very red, and he saw that she had + been weeping. She threw a shawl over her shoulders, beckoned to him with + her hand, and he arose and followed her. She led the way silently until + they reached a thick copse of birch and alder near the strand. She dropped + down upon a bench between two trees, and he took his seat at her side. + </p> + <p> + “Ralph,” began she, with a visible effort, “I hardly know what to say to + you; but there is something which I must tell you—my father wishes + you to leave us at once.” + </p> + <p> + “And <i>you</i>, Bertha?” + </p> + <p> + “Well—yes—I wish it too.” + </p> + <p> + She saw the painful shock which her words gave him, and she strove hard to + speak. Her lips trembled, her eyes became suffused with tears, which grew + and grew, but never fell; she could not utter a word. + </p> + <p> + “Well, Bertha,” answered he, with a little quiver in his voice, “if you, + too, wish me to go, I shall not tarry. Good-by.” + </p> + <p> + He rose quickly, and, with averted face, held out his hand to her; but as + she made no motion to grasp the hand, he began distractedly to button his + coat, and moved slowly away. + </p> + <p> + “Ralph.” + </p> + <p> + He turned sharply, and, before he knew it, she lay sobbing upon his + breast. + </p> + <p> + “Ralph,” she murmured, while the tears almost choked her words, “I could + not have you leave me thus. It is hard enough—it is hard enough—” + </p> + <p> + “What is hard, beloved?” + </p> + <p> + She raised her head abruptly, and turned upon him a gaze full of hope and + doubt, and sweet perplexity. + </p> + <p> + “Ah, no, you do not love me,” she whispered, sadly. + </p> + <p> + “Why should I come to seek you, after these many years, dearest, if I did + not wish to make you my wife before God and men? Why should I—I.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, yes, I know,” she interrupted him with a fresh fit of weeping, “you + are too good and honest to wish to throw me away, now when you have seen + how my soul has hungered for the sight of you these many years, how even + now I cling to you with a despairing clutch. But you can not disguise + yourself, Ralph, and I saw from the first moment that you loved me no + more.” + </p> + <p> + “Do not be such an unreasonable child,” he remonstrated, feebly. “I do not + love you with the wild, irrational passion of former years; but I have the + tenderest regard for you, and my heart warms at the sight of your sweet + face, and I shall do all in my power to make you as happy as any man can + make you who—” + </p> + <p> + “Who does not love me,” she finished. + </p> + <p> + A sudden shudder seemed to shake her whole frame, and she drew herself + more tightly up to him. + </p> + <p> + “Ah, no,” she continued, after a while, sinking back upon her seat. “It is + a hopeless thing to compel a reluctant heart. I will accept no sacrifice + from you. You owe me nothing, for you have acted toward me honestly and + uprightly, and I shall be a stronger or—at least—a better + woman for what you gave me—and—for what you could not give me, + even though you would.” + </p> + <p> + “But, Bertha,” exclaimed he, looking mournfully at her, “it is not true + when you say that I owe you nothing. Six years ago, when first I wooed + you, you could not return my love, and you sent me out into the world, and + even refused to accept any pledge or promise for the future.” + </p> + <p> + “And you returned,” she responded, “a man, such as my hope had pictured + you; but, while I had almost been standing still, you had outgrown me and + outgrown your old self, and, with your old self, outgrown its love for me, + for your love was not of your new self, but of the old. Alas! it is a sad + tale, but it is true.” + </p> + <p> + She spoke gravely now, and with a steadier voice, but her eyes hung upon + his face with an eager look of expectation, as if yearning to detect there + some gleam of hope, some contradiction of the dismal truth. He read that + look aright and it pierced him like a sharp sword. He made a brave effort + to respond to its appeal, but his features seemed hard as stone, and he + could only cry out against his destiny, and bewail his misfortune and + hers. + </p> + <p> + Toward evening, Ralph was sitting in an open boat, listening to the + measured oar-strokes of the boatmen who were rowing him out to the nearest + stopping-place of the steamer. The mountains lifted their great placid + heads up among the sun-bathed clouds, and the fjord opened its cool depths + as if to make room for their vast reflections. Ralph felt as if he were + floating in the midst of the blue infinite space, and, with the strength + which this feeling inspired, he tried to face boldly the thought from + which he had but a moment ago shrunk as from something hopelessly sad and + perplexing. + </p> + <p> + And in that hour he looked fearlessly into the gulf which separates the + New World from the Old. He had hoped to bridge it; but, alas! it can not + be bridged. + </p> + <div style="height: 6em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg’s A Good-For-Nothing, by Hjalmar Hjorth Boyesen + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A GOOD-FOR-NOTHING *** + +***** This file should be named 23174-h.htm or 23174-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/3/1/7/23174/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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