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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Depot Master, by Joseph C. Lincoln
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Depot Master
+
+Author: Joseph C. Lincoln
+
+Release Date: May 16, 2006 [EBook #2307]
+Last Updated: March 5, 2018
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: UTF-8
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE DEPOT MASTER ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Donald Lainson
+
+
+
+
+
+THE DEPOT MASTER
+
+By Joseph C. Lincoln
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+
+CHAPTER
+
+I.--   AT THE DEPOT
+
+II.--  SUPPLY AND DEMAND
+
+III.-- “STINGY GABE”
+
+IV.--  THE MAJOR
+
+V.--   A BABY AND A ROBBERY
+
+VI.--  AVIATION AND AVARICE
+
+VII.-- CAPTAIN SOL DECIDES TO MOVE
+
+VIII.--THE OBLIGATIONS OF A GENTLEMAN
+
+IX.--  THE WIDOW BASSETT
+
+X.--   CAPTAIN JONADAB GOES
+
+XI.--  THE GREAT METROPOLIS
+
+XII.-- A VISION SENT
+
+XIII.--DUSENBERRY'S BIRTHDAY
+
+XIV.-- EFFIE'S FATE
+
+XV.--  THE “HERO” AND THE COWBOY
+
+XVI.-- THE CRUISE OF THE RED CAR
+
+XVII.--ISSY'S REVENGE
+
+XVIII. THE MOUNTAIN AND MAHOMET
+
+
+
+
+THE DEPOT MASTER
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER I
+
+AT THE DEPOT
+
+
+Mr. Simeon Phinney emerged from the side door of his residence and
+paused a moment to light his pipe in the lee of the lilac bushes. Mr.
+Phinney was a man of various and sundry occupations, and his sign,
+nailed to the big silver-leaf in the front yard, enumerated a few of
+them. “Carpenter, Well Driver, Building Mover, Cranberry Bogs Seen to
+with Care and Dispatch, etc., etc.,” so read the sign. The house was
+situated in “Phinney's Lane,” the crooked little byway off “Cross
+Street,” between the “Shore Road” at the foot of the slope and the “Hill
+Boulevard”--formerly “Higgins's Roost”--at the top. From the Phinney
+gate the view was extensive and, for the most part, wet. The hill
+descended sharply, past the “Shore Road,” over the barren fields and
+knolls covered with bayberry bushes and “poverty grass,” to the yellow
+sand of the beach and the gray, weather-beaten fish-houses scattered
+along it. Beyond was the bay, a glimmer in the sunset light.
+
+Mrs. Phinney, in the kitchen, was busy with the supper dishes. Her
+husband, wheezing comfortably at his musical pipe, drew an ancient
+silver watch from his pocket and looked at its dial. Quarter past six.
+Time to be getting down to the depot and the post office. At least a
+dozen male citizens of East Harniss were thinking that very thing at
+that very moment. It was a community habit of long standing to see the
+train come in and go after the mail. The facts that the train bore no
+passengers in whom you were intimately interested, and that you expected
+no mail made little difference. If you were a man of thirty or older,
+you went to the depot or the “club,” just as your wife or sisters went
+to the sewing circle, for sociability and mild excitement. If you were
+a single young man you went to the post office for the same reason that
+you attended prayer meeting. If you were a single young lady you went
+to the post office and prayer meeting to furnish a reason for the young
+man.
+
+Mr. Phinney, replacing his watch in his pocket, meandered to the
+sidewalk and looked down the hill and along the length of the “Shore
+Road.” Beside the latter highway stood a little house, painted a
+spotless white, its window blinds a vivid green. In that house dwelt,
+and dwelt alone, Captain Solomon Berry, Sim Phinney's particular
+friend. Captain Sol was the East Harniss depot master and, from long
+acquaintance, Mr. Phinney knew that he should be through supper and
+ready to return to the depot, by this time. The pair usually walked
+thither together when the evening meal was over.
+
+But, except for the smoke curling lazily from the kitchen chimney,
+there was no sign of life about the Berry house. Either Captain Sol had
+already gone, or he was not yet ready to go. So Mr. Phinney decided that
+waiting was chancey, and set out alone.
+
+He climbed Cross Street to where the “Hill Boulevard,” abiding place of
+East Harniss's summer aristocracy, bisected it, and there, standing on
+the corner, and consciously patronizing the spot where he so stood, was
+Mr. Ogden Hapworth Williams, no less.
+
+Mr. Williams was the village millionaire, patron, and, in a gentlemanly
+way, “boomer.” His estate on the Boulevard was the finest in the county,
+and he, more than any one else, was responsible for the “buying up”
+ by wealthy people from the city of the town's best building sites, the
+spots commanding “fine marine sea views,” to quote from Abner Payne,
+local real estate and insurance agent. His own estate was fine enough to
+be talked about from one end of the Cape to the other and he had bought
+the empty lot opposite and made it into a miniature park, with flower
+beds and gravel walks, though no one but he or his might pick the
+flowers or tread the walks. He had brought on a wealthy friend from New
+York and a cousin from Chicago, and they, too, had bought acres on the
+Boulevard and erected palatial “cottages” where once were the houses of
+country people. Local cynics suggested that the sign on the East Harniss
+railroad station should be changed to read “Williamsburg.” “He owns the
+place, body and soul,” said they.
+
+As Sim Phinney climbed the hill the magnate, pompous, portly, and
+imposing, held up a signaling finger. “Just as if he was hailin' a horse
+car,” described Simeon afterward.
+
+“Phinney,” he said, “come here, I want to speak to you.”
+
+The man of many trades obediently approached.
+
+“Good evenin', Mr. Williams,” he ventured.
+
+“Phinney,” went on the great man briskly, “I want you to give me your
+figures on a house moving deal. I have bought a house on the Shore Road,
+the one that used to belong to the--er--Smalleys, I believe.”
+
+Simeon was surprised. “What, the old Smalley house?” he exclaimed. “You
+don't tell me!”
+
+“Yes, it's a fine specimen--so my wife says--of the pure Colonial,
+whatever that is, and I intend moving it to the Boulevard. I want your
+figures for the job.”
+
+The building mover looked puzzled. “To the Boulevard?” he said. “Why, I
+didn't know there was a vacant lot on the Boulevard, Mr. Williams.”
+
+“There isn't now, but there will be soon. I have got hold of the hundred
+feet left from the old Seabury estate.”
+
+Mr. Phinney drew a long breath. “Why!” he stammered, “that's where Olive
+Edwards--her that was Olive Seabury--lives, ain't it?”
+
+“Yes,” was the rather impatient answer. “She has been living there. But
+the place was mortgaged up to the handle and--ahem--the mortgage is mine
+now.”
+
+For an instant Simeon did not reply. He was gazing, not up the Boulevard
+in the direction of the “Seabury place” but across the slope of the
+hill toward the home of Captain Sol Berry, the depot master. There was a
+troubled look on his face.
+
+“Well?” inquired Williams briskly, “when can you give me the figures?
+They must be low, mind. No country skin games, you understand.”
+
+“Hey?” Phinney came out of his momentary trance. “Yes, yes, Mr.
+Williams. They'll be low enough. Times is kind of dull now and I'd
+like a movin' job first-rate. I'll give 'em to you to-morrer. But--but
+Olive'll have to move, won't she? And where's she goin'?”
+
+“She'll have to move, sure. And the eyesore on that lot now will come
+down.”
+
+The “eyesore” was the four room building, combined dwelling and shop of
+Mrs. Olive Edwards, widow of “Bill Edwards,” once a promising young man,
+later town drunkard and ne'er-do-well, dead these five years, luckily
+for himself and luckier--in a way--for the wife who had stuck by him
+while he wasted her inheritance in a losing battle with John Barleycorn.
+At his death the fine old Seabury place had dwindled to a lone hundred
+feet of land, the little house, and a mortgage on both. Olive had opened
+a “notion store” in her front parlor and had fought on, proudly refusing
+aid and trying to earn a living. She had failed. Again Phinney stared
+thoughtfully at the distant house of Captain Sol.
+
+“But Olive,” he said, slowly. “She ain't got no folks, has she? What'll
+become of her? Where'll she move to?”
+
+“That,” said Mr. Williams, with a wave of a fat hand, “is not my
+business. I am sorry for her, if she's hard up. But I can't be
+responsible if men will drink up their wives' money. Look out for number
+one; that's business. I sha'n't be unreasonable with her. She can stay
+where she is until the new house I've bought is moved to that lot. Then
+she must clear out. I've told her that. She knows all about it. Well,
+good-by, Phinney. I shall expect your bid to-morrow. And, mind, don't
+try to get the best of me, because you can't do it.”
+
+He turned and strutted back up the Boulevard. Sim Phinney, pondering
+deeply and very grave, continued on his way, down Cross Street
+to Main--naming the village roads was another of the Williams'
+“improvements”--and along that to the crossing, East Harniss's business
+and social center at train times.
+
+The station--everyone called it “deepo,” of course--was then a small red
+building, old and out of date, but scrupulously neat because of Captain
+Berry's rigid surveillance. Close beside it was the “Boston Grocery,
+Dry Goods and General Store,” Mr. Beriah Higgins, proprietor. Beriah
+was postmaster and the post office was in his store. The male citizen
+of middle age or over, seeking opportunity for companionship and chat,
+usually went first to the depot, sat about in the waiting room until the
+train came in, superintended that function, then sojourned to the post
+office until the mail was sorted, returning later, if he happened to be
+a particular friend of the depot master, to sit and smoke and yarn until
+Captain Sol announced that it was time to “turn in.”
+
+When Mr. Phinney entered the little waiting room he found it already
+tenanted. Captain Sol had not yet arrived, but official authority was
+represented by “Issy” McKay--his full name was Issachar Ulysses Grant
+McKay--a long-legged, freckled-faced, tow-headed youth of twenty, who,
+as usual, was sprawled along the settee by the wall, engrossed in
+a paper covered dime novel. “Issy” was a lover of certain kinds of
+literature and reveled in lurid fiction. As a youngster he had, at
+the age of thirteen, after a course of reading in the “Deadwood Dick
+Library,” started on a pedestrian journey to the Far West, where,
+being armed with home-made tomahawk and scalping knife, he contemplated
+extermination of the noble red man. A wrathful pursuing parent had
+collared the exterminator at the Bayport station, to the huge delight of
+East Harniss, young and old. Since this adventure Issy had been famous,
+in a way.
+
+He was Captain Sol Berry's assistant at the depot. Why an assistant
+was needed was a much discussed question. Why Captain Sol, a retired
+seafaring man with money in the bank, should care to be depot master
+at ten dollars a week was another. The Captain himself said he took the
+place because he wanted to do something that was “half way between a
+loaf and a job.” He employed an assistant at his own expense because
+he “might want to stretch the loafin' half.” And he hired Issy
+because--well, because “most folks in East Harniss are alike and you can
+always tell about what they'll say or do. Now Issy's different. The Lord
+only knows what HE'S likely to do, and that makes him interestin' as a
+conundrum, to guess at. He kind of keeps my sense of responsibility from
+gettin' mossy, Issy does.”
+
+“Issy,” hailed Mr. Phinney, “has the Cap'n got here yet?”
+
+Issy answered not. The villainous floorwalker had just proffered
+matrimony or summary discharge to “Flora, the Beautiful Shop Girl,” and
+pending her answer, the McKay mind had no room for trifles.
+
+“Issy!” shouted Simeon. “I say, Is', Wake up, you foolhead! Has Cap'n
+Sol--”
+
+“No, he ain't, Sim,” volunteered Ed Crocker. He and his chum, Cornelius
+Rowe, were seated in two of the waiting room chairs, their feet on two
+others. “He ain't got here yet. We was just talkin' about him. You've
+heard about Olive Edwards, I s'pose likely, ain't you?”
+
+Phinney nodded gloomily.
+
+“Yes,” he said, “I've heard.”
+
+“Well, it's too bad,” continued Crocker. “But, after all, it's Olive's
+own fault. She'd ought to have married Sol Berry when she had the
+chance. What she ever gave him the go-by for, after the years they was
+keepin' comp'ny, is more'n I can understand.”
+
+Cornelius Rowe shook his head, with an air of wisdom. Captain Sol,
+himself, remarked once: “I wonder sometimes the Almighty ain't jealous
+of Cornelius, he knows so much and is so responsible for the runnin' of
+all creation.”
+
+“Humph!” grunted Mr. Rowe. “There's more to that business than you folks
+think. Olive didn't notice Bill Edwards till Sol went off to sea and
+stayed two years and over. How do you know she shook Sol? You might just
+as well say he shook her. He always was stubborn as an off ox and cranky
+as a windlass. I wonder how he feels now, when she's lost her last red
+and is goin' to be drove out of house and home. And all on account of
+that fool 'mountain and Mahomet' business.”
+
+“WHICH?” asked Mr. Crocker.
+
+“Never mind that, Cornelius,” put in Phinney, sharply. “Why don't you
+let other folks' affairs alone? That was a secret that Olive told your
+sister and you've got no right to go blabbin'.”
+
+“Aw, hush up, Sim! I ain't tellin' no secrets to anybody but Ed here,
+and he ain't lived in East Harniss long or he'd know it already. The
+mountain and Mahomet? Why, them was the last words Sol and Olive had.
+'Twas Sol's stubbornness that was most to blame. That was his one bad
+fault. He would have his own way and he wouldn't change. Olive had set
+her heart on goin' to Washin'ton for their weddin' tower. Sol wanted
+to go to Niagara. They argued a long time, and finally Olive says, 'No,
+Solomon, I'm not goin' to give in this time. I have all the others, but
+it's not fair and it's not right, and no married life can be happy where
+one does all the sacrificin'. If you care for me you'll do as I want
+now.'
+
+“And he laughs and says, 'All right, I'll sacrifice after this, but you
+and me must see Niagara.' And she was sot and he was sotter, and at last
+they quarreled. He marches out of the door and says: 'Very good. When
+you're ready to be sensible and change your mind, you can come to me.
+And says Olive, pretty white but firm: 'No, Solomon, I'm right and
+you're not. I'm afraid this time the mountain must come to Mahomet.'
+That ended it. He went away and never come back, and after a long spell
+she give in to her dad and married Bill Edwards. Foolish? 'Well, now,
+WA'N'T it!”
+
+“Humph!” grunted Crocker. “She must have been a born gump to let a smart
+man like him get away just for that.”
+
+“There's a good many born gumps not so far from here as her house,”
+ interjected Phinney. “You remember that next time you look in the glass,
+Ed Crocker. And--and--well, there's no better friend of Sol Berry's on
+earth than I am, but, so fur as their quarrel was concerned, if you ask
+me I'd have to say Olive was pretty nigh right.”
+
+“Maybe--maybe,” declared the allwise Cornelius, “but just the same if I
+was Sol Berry, and knew my old girl was likely to go to the poorhouse,
+I'll bet my conscience--”
+
+“S-ssh!” hissed Crocker, frantically. Cornelius stopped in the middle
+of his sentence, whirled in his chair, and looked up. Behind him in the
+doorway of the station stood Captain Sol himself. The blue cap he always
+wore was set back on his head, a cigar tipped upward from the corner
+of his mouth, and there was a grim look in his eye and about the smooth
+shaven lips above the short, grayish-brown beard.
+
+“Issy” sprang from his settee and jammed the paper novel into his
+pocket. Ed Crocker's sunburned face turned redder yet. Sim Phinney
+grinned at Mr. Rowe, who was very much embarrassed.
+
+“Er--er--evenin', Cap'n Sol,” he stammered. “Nice, seasonable weather,
+ain't it? Been a nice day.”
+
+“Um,” grunted the depot master, knocking the ashes from his cigar.
+
+“Just right for workin' outdoor,” continued Cornelius.
+
+“I guess it must be. I saw your wife rakin' the yard this mornin'.”
+
+Phinney doubled up with a chuckle. Mr. Rowe swallowed hard. “I--I TOLD
+her I'd rake it myself soon's I got time,” he sputtered.
+
+“Um. Well, I s'pose she realized your time was precious. Evenin', Sim,
+glad to see you.”
+
+He held out his hand and Phinney grasped it.
+
+“Issy,” said Captain Sol, “you'd better get busy with the broom, hadn't
+you. It's standin' over in that corner and I wouldn't wonder if it
+needed exercise. Sim, the train ain't due for twenty minutes yet. That
+gives us at least three quarters of an hour afore it gets here. Come
+outside a spell. I want to talk to you.”
+
+He led the way to the platform, around the corner of the station, and
+seated himself on the baggage truck. That side of the building, being
+furthest from the street, was out of view from the post office and
+“general store.”
+
+“What was it you wanted to talk about, Sol?” asked Simeon, sitting down
+beside his friend on the truck.
+
+The Captain smoked in silence for a moment. Then he asked a question in
+return.
+
+“Sim,” he said, “have you heard anything about Williams buying the
+Smalley house? Is it true?”
+
+Phinney nodded. “Yup,” he answered, “it's true. Williams was just
+talkin' to me and I know all about his buyin' it and where it's goin'.”
+
+He repeated the conversation with the great man. Captain Sol did
+not interrupt. He smoked on, and a frown gathered and deepened as he
+listened.
+
+“Humph!” he said, when his friend had concluded. “Humph! Sim, do you
+have any idea what--what Olive Seabury will do when she has to go?”
+
+Phinney glanced at him. It was the first time in twenty years that he
+had heard Solomon Berry mention the name of his former sweetheart. And
+even now he did not call her by her married name, the name of her late
+husband.
+
+“No,” replied Simeon. “No, Sol, I ain't got the least idea. Poor thing!”
+
+Another interval. Then: “Well, Sim, find out if you can, and let me
+know. And,” turning his head and speaking quietly but firmly, “don't let
+anybody ELSE know I asked.”
+
+“Course I won't, Sol, you know that. But don't it seem awful mean
+turnin' her out so? I wouldn't think Mr. Williams would do such a
+thing.”
+
+His companion smiled grimly; “I would,” he said. “'Business is
+business,' that's his motto. That and 'Look out for number one.'”
+
+“Yes, he said somethin' to me about lookin' out for number one.”
+
+“Did he? Humph!” The Captain's smile lost a little of its bitterness
+and broadened. He seemed to be thinking and to find amusement in the
+process.
+
+“What you grinnin' at?” demanded Phinney.
+
+“Oh, I was just rememberin' how he looked out for number one the
+first--no, the second time I met him. I don't believe he's forgot it.
+Maybe that's why he ain't quite so high and mighty to me as he is to the
+rest of you fellers. Ha! ha! He tried to patronize me when I first came
+back here and took this depot and I just smiled and asked him what the
+market price of johnny-cake was these days. He got red clear up to the
+brim of his tall hat. Humph! 'TWAS funny.”
+
+“The market price of JOHNNY-CAKE! He must have thought you was loony.”
+
+“No. I'm the last man he'd think was loony. You see I met him a fore he
+came here to live at all.”
+
+“You did? Where?”
+
+“Oh, over to Wellmouth. 'Twas the year afore I come back to East
+Harniss, myself, after my long stretch away from it. I never intended to
+see the Cape again, but I couldn't stay away somehow. I've told you
+that much--how I went over to Wellmouth and boarded a spell, got sick
+of that, and, just to be doin' somethin' and not for the money, bought
+a catboat and took out sailin' parties from Wixon and Wingate's summer
+hotel.”
+
+“And you met Mr. Williams? Well, I snum! Was he at the hotel?”
+
+“No, not exactly. I met him sort of casual this second time.”
+
+“SECOND time? Had you met him afore that?”
+
+“Don't get ahead of the yarn, Sim. It happened this way: You see, I was
+comin' along the road between East Wellmouth and the Center when I run
+afoul of him. He was fat and shiny, and drivin' a skittish horse hitched
+to a fancy buggy. When he sighted me he hove to and hailed.
+
+“'Here you!' says he, in a voice as fat as the rest of him. 'Your name's
+Berry, ain't it.'
+
+“'Yup,' says I.
+
+“'Methusalum Berry or Jehoshaphat Berry or Sheba Berry, or somethin'
+like that? Hey?' he says.
+
+“'Well,' says I, 'the last shot you fired comes nighest the bull's eye.
+They christened me Solomon, but 'twa'n't my fault; I was young at the
+time and they took advantage.'
+
+“He grinned a kind of lopsided grin, like he had a lemon in his mouth,
+and commenced to cuss the horse for tryin' to climb a pine tree.
+
+“'I knew 'twas some Bible outrage or other,' he says. 'There's more
+Bible names in this forsaken sand heap than there is Christians, a good
+sight. When I meet a man with a Bible name and chin whiskers I hang on
+to my watch. The feller that sets out to do me has got to have a better
+make up than that, you bet your life. 'Well, see here, King Sol; can you
+run a gasoline launch?'
+
+“'Why, yes, I guess I can run 'most any of the everyday kinds,' says
+I, pullin' thoughtful at my own chin whiskers. This fat man had got me
+interested. He was so polite and folksy in his remarks. Didn't seem to
+stand on no ceremony, as you might say. Likewise there was a kind of
+familiar somethin' about his face. I knew mighty well I'd never met him
+afore, and yet I seemed to have a floatin' memory of him, same as a chap
+remembers the taste of the senna and salts his ma made him take when he
+was little.
+
+“'All right,' says he, sharp. 'Then you come around to my landin'
+to-morrer mornin' at eight o'clock prompt and take me out in my launch
+to the cod-fishin' grounds. I'll give you ten dollars to take me out
+there and back.'
+
+“'Well,' says I, 'ten dollars is a good price enough. Do I furnish--'
+
+“'You furnish nothin' except your grub,' he interrupts. 'The launch'll
+be ready and the lines and hooks and bait'll be ready. My own man was to
+do the job, but he and I had a heart-to-heart talk just now and I told
+him where he could go and go quick. No smart Alec gets the best of me,
+even if he has got a month's contract. You run that launch and put me on
+the fishin' grounds. I pay you for that and bringin' me back again. And
+I furnish my own extras and you can furnish yours. I don't want any of
+your Yankee bargainin'. See?'
+
+“I saw. There wa'n't no real reason why I couldn't take the job. 'Twas
+well along into September; the hotel was closed for the season; and
+about all I had on my hands just then was time.
+
+“'All right,' says I, 'it's a deal. If you'll guarantee to have your
+launch ready, I--'
+
+“'That's my business,' he says. 'It'll be ready. If it ain't you'll get
+your pay just the same. To-morrer mornin' at eight o'clock. And don't
+you forget and be late. Gid-dap, you blackguard!' says he to the horse.
+
+“'Hold on, just a minute,' I hollers, runnin' after him. 'I don't want
+to be curious nor nosey, you understand, but seems 's if it might help
+me to be on time if I knew where your launch was goin' to be and what
+your name was.'
+
+“He pulled up then. 'Humph!' he says, 'if you don't know my name and
+more about my private affairs than I do myself, you're the only one in
+this county that don't. My name's Williams, and I live in what you folks
+call the Lathrop place over here toward Trumet. The launch is at my
+landin' down in front of the house.'
+
+“He drove off then and I walked along thinkin'. I knew who he was
+now, of course. There was consider'ble talk when the Lathrop place was
+rented, and I gathered that the feller who hired it answered to the hail
+of Williams and was a retired banker, sufferin' from an enlarged income
+and the diseases that go along with it. He lived alone up there in the
+big house, except for a cranky housekeeper and two or three servants.
+This was afore he got married, Sim; his wife's tamed him a little. Then
+the yarns about his temper and language would have filled a log book.
+
+“But all this was way to one side of the mark-buoy, so fur as I was
+concerned. I'd cruised with cranks afore and I thought I could stand
+this one--ten dollars' worth of him, anyhow. Bluster and big talk may
+scare some folks, but to me they're like Aunt Hepsy Parker's false
+teeth, the further off you be from 'em the more real they look. So the
+next mornin' I was up bright and early and on my way over to the Lathrop
+landin'.
+
+“The launch was there, made fast alongside the little wharf. Nice,
+slick-lookin' craft she was, too, all varnish and gilt gorgeousness. I'd
+liked her better if she'd carried a sail, for it's my experience that
+canvas is a handy thing to have aboard in case of need; but she looked
+seaworthy enough and built for speed.
+
+“While I was standin' on the pier lookin' down at her I heard footsteps
+and brisk remarks from behind the bushes on the bank, and here comes
+Williams, puffin' and blowin', followed by a sulky-lookin' hired man
+totin' a deckload of sweaters and ileskins, with a lunch basket on top.
+Williams himself wan't carryin' anything but his temper, but he hadn't
+forgot none of that.
+
+“'Hello, Berry,' says he to me. 'You are on time, ain't you. Blessed if
+it ain't a comfort to find somebody who'll do what I tell 'em. Now you,'
+he says to the servant, 'put them things aboard and clear out as quick
+as you've a mind to. You and I are through; understand? Don't let me
+find you hangin' around the place when I get back. Cast off, Sol.'
+
+“The man dumped the dunnage into the launch, pretty average ugly, and me
+and the boss climbed aboard. I cast off.
+
+“'Mr. Williams,' says the man, kind of pleadin', 'ain't you goin' to pay
+me the rest of my month's wages?'
+
+“Williams told him he wa'n't, and added trimmin's to make it emphatic.
+
+“I started the engine and we moved out at a good clip. All at once that
+hired man runs to the end of the wharf and calls after us.
+
+“'All right for you, you fat-head!' he yells. 'You'll be sorry for what
+you done to me.'
+
+“I cal'late the boss would have liked to go back and lick him, but I
+was hired to go a-fishin', not to watch a one-sided prize fight, and I
+thought 'twas high time we started.
+
+“The name of that launch was the Shootin' Star, and she certainly
+lived up to it. 'Twas one of them slick, greasy days, with no sea worth
+mentionin' and we biled along fine. We had to, because the cod ledge is
+a good many mile away, 'round Sandy P'int out to sea, and, judgin' by
+what I'd seen of Fatty so fur, I wa'n't hankerin' to spend more time
+with him than was necessary. More'n that, there was fog signs showin'.
+
+“'When was you figgerin' on gettin' back, Mr. Williams?' I asked him.
+
+“'When I've caught as many fish as I want to,' he says. 'I told that
+housekeeper of mine that I'd be back when I got good and ready; it might
+be to-night and it might be ten days from now. “If I ain't back in a
+week you can hunt me up,” I told her; “but not before. And that goes.”
+ I've got HER trained all right. She knows me. It's a pity if a man can't
+be independent of females.'
+
+“I knew consider'ble many men that was subjects for pity, 'cordin' to
+that rule. But I wa'n't in for no week's cruise, and I told him so. He
+said of course not; we'd be home that evenin'.
+
+“The Shootin' Star kept slippin' along. 'Twas a beautiful mornin' and,
+after a spell, it had its effect, even on a crippled disposition like
+that banker man's. He lit up a cigar and begun to get more sociable, in
+his way. Commenced to ask me questions about myself.
+
+“By and by he says: 'Berry, I suppose you figger that it's a smart thing
+to get ten dollars out of me for a trip like this, hey?'
+
+“'Not if it's to last a week, I don't,' says I.
+
+“'It's your lookout if it does,' he says prompt. 'You get ten for takin'
+me out and back. If you ain't back on time 'tain't my fault.'
+
+“'Unless this craft breaks down,' I says.
+
+“''Twon't break down. I looked after that. My motto is to look out for
+number one every time, and it's a mighty good motto. At any rate, it's
+made my money for me.'
+
+“He went on, preachin' about business shrewdness and how it paid, and
+how mean and tricky in little deals we Rubes was, and yet we didn't
+appreciate how to manage big things, till I got kind of sick of it.
+
+“'Look here, Mr. Williams,' says I, 'you know how I make my money--what
+little I do make--or you say you do. Now, if it ain't a sassy question,
+how did you make yours?'
+
+“Well, he made his by bein' shrewd and careful and always lookin' out
+for number one. 'Number one' was his hobby. I gathered that the heft of
+his spare change had come from dickers in stocks and bonds.
+
+“'Humph!' says I. 'Well, speakin' of tricks and meanness, I've allers
+heard tell that there was some of them things hitched to the tail of
+the stock market. What makes the stock market price of--well, of wheat,
+we'll say?'
+
+“That was regulated, so he said, by the law of supply and demand. If a
+feller had all the wheat there was and another chap had to have some or
+starve, why, the first one had a right to gouge t'other chap's last cent
+away from him afore he let it go.
+
+“'That's legitimate,' he says. 'That's cornerin' the market. Law of
+supply and demand exemplified.'
+
+“''Cordin' to that law,' says I, 'when you was so set on fishin' to-day
+and hunted me up to run your boat here--'cause I was about the only chap
+who could run it and wa'n't otherwise busy--I'd ought to have charged
+you twenty dollars instead of ten.'
+
+“'Sure you had,' he says, grinnin'. 'But you weren't shrewd enough to
+grasp the situation and do it. Now the deal's closed and it's too late.'
+
+“He went on talkin' about 'pools' and deals' and such. How prices of
+this stock and that was shoved up a-purpose till a lot of folks had
+put their money in it and then was smashed flat so's all hands but the
+'poolers' would be what he called 'squeezed out,' and the gang would get
+their cash. That was legitimate, too--'high finance,' he said.
+
+“'But how about the poor folks that had their savin's in them stocks,'
+I asks, 'and don't know high financin'? Where's the law of supply and
+demand come in for them?'
+
+“He laughed. 'They supply the suckers and the demand for money,' says
+he.
+
+“By eleven we was well out toward the fishin' grounds. 'Twas the bad
+season now; the big fish had struck off still further and there wa'n't
+another boat in sight. The land was just a yeller and green smooch along
+the sky line and the waves was runnin' bigger. The Shootin' Star was
+seaworthy, though, and I wa'n't worried about her. The only thing that
+troubled me was the fog, and that was pilin' up to wind'ard. I'd called
+Fatty's attention to it when we fust started, but he said he didn't care
+a red for fog. Well, I didn't much care nuther, for we had a compass
+aboard and the engine was runnin' fine. What wind there was was blowin'
+offshore.
+
+“And then, all to once, the engine STOPPED runnin'. I give the wheel a
+whirl, but she only coughed, consumptive-like, and quit again. I went
+for'ard to inspect, and, if you'll believe it, there wa'n't a drop of
+gasoline left in the tank. The spare cans had ought to have been full,
+and they was--but 'twas water they was filled with.
+
+“'Is THIS the way you have your boat ready for me?' I remarks,
+sarcastic.
+
+“'That--that man of mine told me he had everything filled,' he stammers,
+lookin' scart.
+
+“'Yes,' says I, 'and I heard him hint likewise that he was goin' to make
+you sorry. I guess he's done it.'
+
+“Well, sir! the brimstone names that Fatty called that man was somethin'
+surprisin' to hear. When he'd used up all he had in stock he invented
+new ones. When the praise service was over he turns to me and says: 'But
+what are we goin' to do?'
+
+“'Do?' says I. 'That's easy. We're goin' to drift.'
+
+“And that's what we done. I tried to anchor, but we wa'n't over the
+ledge and the iron wouldn't reach bottom by a mile, more or less. I
+rigged up a sail out of the oar and the canvas spray shield, but there
+wa'n't wind enough to give us steerageway. So we drifted and drifted,
+out to sea. And by and by the fog come down and shut us in, and that
+fixed what little hope I had of bein' seen by the life patrol on shore.
+
+“The breeze died out flat about three o'clock. In one way this was a
+good thing. In another it wa'n't, because we was well out in deep water,
+and when the wind did come it was likely to come harder'n we needed.
+However, there wa'n't nothin' to do but wait and hope for the best, as
+the feller said when his wife's mother was sick.
+
+“It was gettin' pretty well along toward the edge of the evenin' when
+I smelt the wind a-comin'. It came in puffs at fust, and every puff was
+healthier than the one previous. Inside of ten minutes it was blowin'
+hard, and the seas were beginnin' to kick up. I got up my jury rig--the
+oar and the spray shield--and took the helm. There wa'n't nothin' to
+do but run afore it, and the land knows where we would fetch up. At any
+rate, if the compass was right, we was drivin' back into the bay again,
+for the wind had hauled clear around.
+
+“The Shootin' Star jumped and sloshed. Fatty had on all the ileskins and
+sweaters, but he was shakin' like a custard pie.
+
+“'Oh, oh, heavens!' he chatters. 'What will we do? Will we drown?'
+
+“'Don't know,' says I, tuggin' at the wheel and tryin' to sight the
+compass. 'You've got the best chance of the two of us, if it's true that
+fat floats.'
+
+“I thought that might cheer him up some, but it didn't. A big wave
+heeled us over then and a keg or two of salt water poured over the
+gunwale. He give a yell and jumped up.
+
+“'My Lord!' he screams. 'We're sinkin'. Help! help!'
+
+“'Set down!' I roared. 'Thought you knew how to act in a boat. Set down!
+d'you hear me? SET DOWN AND SET STILL!'
+
+“He set. Likewise he shivered and groaned. It got darker all the time
+and the wind freshened every minute. I expected to see that jury mast go
+by the board at any time. Lucky for us it held.
+
+“No use tellin' about the next couple of hours. 'Cordin' to my reckonin'
+they was years and we'd ought to have sailed plumb through the broadside
+of the Cape, and be makin' a quick run for Africy. But at last we got
+into smoother water, and then, right acrost our bows, showed up a white
+strip. The fog had pretty well blowed clear and I could see it.
+
+“'Land, ho!' I yells. 'Stand by! WE'RE goin' to bump.'”
+
+Captain Sol stopped short and listened. Mr. Phinney grasped his arm.
+
+“For the dear land sakes, Sol,” he exclaimed, “don't leave me hangin' in
+them breakers no longer'n you can help! Heave ahead! DID you bump?”
+
+The depot master chuckled.
+
+“DID we?” he repeated. “Well, I'll tell you that by and by. Here comes
+the train and I better take charge of the ship. Anything so responsible
+as seein' the cars come in without me to help would give Issy the
+jumpin' heart disease.”
+
+He sprang from the truck and hastened toward the door of the station.
+Phinney, rising to follow him, saw, over the dark green of the swamp
+cedars at the head of the track, an advancing column of smoke. A whistle
+sounded. The train was coming in.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II
+
+SUPPLY AND DEMAND
+
+
+And now life in East Harniss became temporarily fevered. Issy McKay
+dashed out of the station and rushed importantly up and down the
+platform. Ed Crocker and Cornelius Rowe emerged and draped themselves
+in statuesque attitudes against the side of the building. Obed Gott came
+hurrying from his paint and oil shop, which was next to the “general
+store.” Mr. Higgins, proprietor of the latter, sauntered easily across
+to receive, in his official capacity as postmaster, the mail bag. Ten or
+more citizens, of both sexes, and of various ages, gathered in groups to
+inspect and supervise.
+
+The locomotive pulled its string of cars, a “baggage,” a “smoker,”
+ and two “passengers,” alongside the platform. The sliding door of the
+baggage car was pushed back and the baggage master appeared in the
+opening. “Hi! Cap'n!” he shouted. “Hi, Cap'n Sol! Here's some express
+for you.”
+
+But unfortunately the Captain was in conversation with the conductor at
+the other end of the train. Issy, willing and officious, sprang forward.
+“I'll take it, Bill,” he volunteered. “Here, give it to me.”
+
+The baggage master handed down the package, a good sized one marked
+“Glass. With Care.” Issy received it, clutched it to his bosom, turned
+and saw Gertie Higgins, pretty daughter of Beriah Higgins, stepping from
+the first car to the platform. Gertie had been staying with an aunt in
+Trumet and was now returning home for a day or two.
+
+Issy stopped short and gazed at her. He saw her meet and kiss her
+father, and the sight roused turbulent emotions in his bosom. He saw her
+nod and smile at acquaintances whom she passed. She approached, noticed
+him, and--oh, rapture!--said laughingly, “Hello, Is.” Before he could
+recover his senses and remember to do more than grin she had disappeared
+around the corner of the station. Therefore he did not see the young man
+who stepped forward to shake her hand and whisper in her ear. This young
+man was Sam Bartlett, and, as a “city dude,” Issy loathed and hated him.
+
+No, Issy did not see the hurried and brief meeting between Bartlett and
+Gertie Higgins, but he had seen enough to cause forgetfulness of mundane
+things. For an instant he stared after the vanished vision. Then he
+stepped blindly forward, tripped over something--“his off hind leg,” so
+Captain Sol afterwards vowed--and fell sprawling, the express package
+beneath him.
+
+The crash of glass reached the ears of the depot master. He broke away
+from the conductor and ran toward his prostrate “assistant.” Pushing
+aside the delighted and uproarious bystanders, he forcibly helped the
+young man to rise.
+
+“What in time?” he demanded.
+
+Issy agonizingly held the package to his ear and shook it.
+
+“I--I'm afraid somethin's cracked,” he faltered.
+
+The crowd set up a whoop. Ed Crocker appeared to be in danger of
+strangling.
+
+“Cracked!” repeated Captain Sol. “Cracked!” he smiled, in spite of
+himself. “Yes, somethin's cracked. It's that head of yours, Issy. Here,
+let's see!”
+
+He snatched the package from the McKay hands and inspected it.
+
+“Smashed to thunder!” he declared. “Who's the lucky one it belongs to?
+Humph!” He read the inscription aloud, “Major Cuthbertson S. Hardee. The
+Major, hey! . . . Well, Is, you take the remains inside and you and I'll
+hold services over it later.”
+
+“I--I didn't go to do it,” protested the frightened Issy.
+
+“Course you didn't. If you had you wouldn't. You're like the feller
+in Scriptur', you leave undone the things you ought to do and do them
+that--All right, Jim! Let her go! Cast off!”
+
+The conductor waved his hand, the engine puffed, the bell rang, and
+the train moved onward. For another twelve hours East Harniss was left
+marooned by the outside world.
+
+Beriah Higgins and the mail bag were already in the post office. Thither
+went the crowd to await the sorting and ultimate distribution. A short,
+fat little man lingered and, walking up to the depot master, extended
+his hand.
+
+“Hello, Sol!” he said, smiling. “Thought I'd stop long enough to say
+'Howdy,' anyhow.”
+
+“Why, Bailey Stitt!” cried the Captain. “How are you? Glad to see you.
+Thought you was down to South Orham, takin' out seasick parties for the
+Ocean House, same kind of a job I used to have in Wellmouth.”
+
+“I am,” replied Captain Stitt. “That is, I was. Just now I've run over
+here to see about contractin' for a supply of clams and quahaugs for our
+boarders. You never see such a gang to eat as them summer folks, in your
+life. Barzilla Wingate, he says the same about his crowd. He's comin' on
+the mornin' train from Wellmouth.”
+
+“You don't tell me. I ain't seen Barzilla for a long spell. Where you
+stoppin'? Come up to the house, won't you?”
+
+“Can't. I'm goin' to put up over to Obed Gott's. His sister, Polena
+Ginn, is a relation of mine by marriage. So long! Obed's gone on ahead
+to tell Polena to put the kettle on. Maybe Obed and I'll be back again
+after I've had supper.”
+
+“Do. I'll be round here for two or three hours yet.”
+
+He entered the depot. Except the forlorn Issy, who sat in a corner,
+holding the express package in his lap, Simeon Phinney was the only
+person in the waiting room.
+
+“Come on now, Sol!” pleaded Sim. “I want to hear the rest of that about
+you and Williams. You left off in the most ticklish place possible,
+out of spite, I do believe. I'm hangin' on to that boat in the breakers
+until I declare I believe I'm catchin' cold just from imagination.”
+
+“Wait a minute, Sim,” said the depot master. Then he turned to his
+assistant.
+
+“Issy,” he said, “this is about the nineteenth time you've done just
+this sort of thing. You're no earthly use and I ought to give you your
+clearance papers. But I can't, you're too--well--ornamental. You've
+got to be punished somehow and I guess the best way will be to send you
+right up to Major Hardee's and let you give him the remnants. He'll
+want to know how it happened, and you tell him the truth. The TRUTH,
+understand? If you invent any fairy tales out of those novels of yours
+I'll know it by and by and--well, YOU'LL know I know. No remarks,
+please. Git!”
+
+Issy hesitated, seemed about to speak, thought better of it, took up
+package and cap, and “got.”
+
+“Let's see,” said the Captain, sitting down in one of the station chairs
+and lighting a fresh cigar; “where was Williams and I in that yarn of
+mine? Oh, yes, I could see land and cal'lated we was goin' to bump.
+Well, we did. Steerin' anyways but dead ahead was out of the question,
+and all I could do was set my teeth and trust in my bein' a member
+of the church. The Shootin' Star hit that beach like she was the real
+article. Overboard went oar and canvas and grub pails, and everything
+else that wa'n't nailed down, includin' Fatty and me. I grabbed him by
+the collar and wallowed ashore.
+
+“'Awk! hawk!' he gasps, chokin', 'I'm drownded.'
+
+“I let him BE drownded, for the minute. I had the launch to think of,
+and somehow or 'nother I got hold of her rodin' and hauled the anchor up
+above tide mark. Then I attended to my passenger.
+
+“'Where are we?' he asks.
+
+“I looked around. Close by was nothin' but beach-grass and seaweed and
+sand. A little ways off was a clump of scrub pines and bayberry bushes
+that looked sort of familiar. And back of them was a little board shanty
+that looked more familiar still. I rubbed the salt out of my eyes.
+
+“'WELL!' says I. 'I swan to man!'
+
+“'What is it?' he says. 'Do you know where we are? Whose house is that?'
+
+“I looked hard at the shanty.
+
+“'Humph!' I grunted. 'I do declare! Talk about a feller's comin' back to
+his own. Whose shanty is that? Well, it's mine, if you want to know.
+The power that looks out for the lame and the lazy has hove us ashore on
+Woodchuck Island, and that's a piece of real estate I own.'
+
+“It sounds crazy enough, that's a fact; but it was true. Woodchuck
+Island is a little mite of a sand heap off in the bay, two mile from
+shore and ten from the nighest town. I'd bought it and put up a shanty
+for a gunnin' shack; took city gunners down there, once in a while,
+the fall before. That summer I'd leased it to a friend of mine, name of
+Darius Baker, who used it while he was lobsterin'. The gale had driven
+us straight in from sea, 'way past Sandy P'int and on to the island.
+'Twas like hittin' a nail head in a board fence, but we'd done it. Shows
+what Providence can do when it sets out.
+
+“I explained some of this to Williams as we waded through the sand to
+the shanty.
+
+“'But is this Baker chap here now?' he asks.
+
+“'I'm afraid not,' says I. 'The lobster season's about over, and he was
+goin' South on a yacht this week. Still, he wa'n't to go till Saturday
+and perhaps--'
+
+“But the shanty was empty when we got there. I fumbled around in the tin
+matchbox and lit the kerosene lamp in the bracket on the wall. Then I
+turned to Williams.
+
+“'Well,' says I, 'we're lucky for once in--'
+
+“Then I stopped. When he went overboard the water had washed off
+his hat. Likewise it had washed off his long black hair--which was a
+wig--and his head was all round and shiny and bald, like a gull's egg
+out in a rain storm.”
+
+“I knew he wore a wig,” interrupted Phinney.
+
+“Of course you do. Everybody does now. But he wa'n't such a prophet in
+Israel then as he's come to be since, and folks wa'n't acquainted with
+his personal beauties.
+
+“'What are you starin' at?' he asks.
+
+“I fetched a long breath. 'Nothin',' says I. 'Nothin'.'
+
+“But for the rest of that next ha'f hour I went around in a kind of
+daze, as if MY wig had gone and part of my head with it. When a feller
+has been doin' a puzzle it kind of satisfies him to find out the answer.
+And I'd done my puzzle.
+
+“I knew where I'd met Mr. Williams afore.”
+
+“You did?” cried Simeon.
+
+“Um-hm. Wait a while. Well, Fatty went to bed, in one of the hay bunks,
+pretty soon after that. He stripped to his underclothes and turned in
+under the patchwork comforters. He was too beat out to want any supper,
+even if there'd been any in sight. I built a fire in the rusty cook
+stove and dried his duds and mine. Then I set down in the busted chair
+and begun to think. After a spell I got up and took account of stock, as
+you might say, of the eatables in the shanty. Darius had carted off his
+own grub and what there was on hand was mine, left over from the gunnin'
+season--a hunk of salt pork in the pickle tub, some corn meal in a tin
+pail, some musty white flour in another pail, a little coffee, a little
+sugar and salt, and a can of condensed milk. I took these things out of
+the locker they was in, looked 'em over, put 'em back again and sprung
+the padlock. Then I put the key into my pocket and went back to my chair
+to do some more thinkin'.
+
+“Next mornin' I was up early and when the banker turned out I was fryin'
+a couple of slices of the pork and had some coffee b'ilin'. Likewise
+there was a pan of johnnycake in the oven. The wind had gone down
+consider'ble, but 'twas foggy and thick again, which was a pleasin'
+state of things for yours truly.
+
+“Williams smelt the cookin' almost afore he got his eyes open.
+
+“'Hurry up with that breakfast,' he says to me. 'I'm hungry as a wolf.'
+
+“I didn't say nothin' then; just went ahead with my cookin'. He got into
+his clothes and went outdoor. Pretty soon he comes back, cussin' the
+weather.
+
+“'See here, Mr. Williams,' says I, 'how about them orders to your
+housekeeper? Are they straight? Won't she have you hunted up for a
+week?'
+
+“He colored pretty red, but from what he said I made out that she
+wouldn't. I gathered that him and the old lady wa'n't real chummy. She
+give him his grub and her services, and he give her the Old Harry and
+her wages. She wouldn't hunt for him, not until she was ordered to.
+She'd be only too glad to have him out of the way.
+
+“'Humph!' says I. 'Then I cal'late we'll enjoy the scenery on this
+garden spot of creation until the week's up.'
+
+“'What do you mean?' says he.
+
+“'Well,' I says, 'the launch is out of commission, unless it should
+rain gasoline, and at this time of year there ain't likely to be a boat
+within hailin' distance of this island; 'specially if the weather holds
+bad.'
+
+“He swore a blue streak, payin' partic'lar attention to the housekeeper
+for her general stupidness and to me because I'd got him, so he said,
+into this scrape. I didn't say nothin'; set the table, with one plate
+and one cup and sasser and knife and fork, hauled up a chair and set
+down to my breakfast. He hauled up a box and set down, too.
+
+“'Pass me that corn bread,' says he. 'And why didn't you fry more pork?'
+
+“He was reachin' out for the johnnycake, but I pulled it out of his way.
+
+“'Wait a minute, Mr. Williams,' says I. 'While you was snoozin' last
+night I made out a kind of manifest of the vittles aboard this shanty.
+'Cordin' to my figgerin' here's scursely enough to last one husky man
+a week, let along two husky ones. I paid consider'ble attention to your
+preachin' yesterday and the text seemed to be to look out for number
+one. Now in this case I'm the one and I've got to look out for myself.
+This is my shanty, my island, and my grub. So please keep your hands off
+that johnnycake.'
+
+“For a minute or so he set still and stared at me. Didn't seem to sense
+the situation, as you might say. Then the red biled up in his face and
+over his bald head like a Fundy tide.
+
+“'Why, you dummed villain!' he shouts. 'Do you mean to starve me?'
+
+“'You won't starve in a week,' says I, helpin' myself to pork. 'A feller
+named Tanner, that I read about years ago, lived for forty days on cold
+water and nothin' else. There's the pump right over in the corner. It's
+my pump, but I'll stretch a p'int and not charge for it this time.'
+
+“'You--you--' he stammers, shakin' all over, he was so mad. 'Didn't I
+hire you--'
+
+“'You hired me to take you out to the fishin' grounds and back, provided
+the launch was made ready by YOU. It wa'n't ready, so THAT contract's
+busted. And you was to furnish your extrys and I was to furnish mine.
+Here they be and I need 'em. It's as legitimate a deal as ever I see;
+perfect case of supply and demand--supply for one and demand for two. As
+I said afore, I'm the one.'
+
+“'By thunder!' he growls, standin' up, 'I'll show you--'
+
+“I stood up, too. He was fat and flabby and I was thin and wiry. We
+looked each other over.
+
+“'I wouldn't,' says I. 'You're under the doctor's care, you know.'
+
+“So he set down again, not havin' strength even to swear, and watched me
+eat my breakfast. And I ate it slow.
+
+“'Say,' he says, finally, 'you think you're mighty smart, don't you.
+Well, I'm It, I guess, for this time. I suppose you'll have no objection
+to SELLIN' me a breakfast?'
+
+“'No--o,' says I, 'not a mite of objection. I'll sell you a couple of
+slices of pork for five dollars a slice and--'
+
+“'FIVE DOLLARS a--!' His mouth dropped open like a main hatch.
+
+“'Sartin,' I says. 'And two slabs of johnnycake at five dollars a slab.
+And a cup of coffee at five dollars a cup. And--'
+
+“'You're crazy!' he sputters, jumpin' up.
+
+“'Not much, I ain't. I've been settin' at your feet larnin' high
+finance, that's all. You don't seem to be onto the real inwardness of
+this deal. I've got the grub market cornered, that's all. The market
+price of necessaries is five dollars each now; it's likely to rise at
+any time, but now it's five.'
+
+“He looked at me steady for at least two more minutes. Then he got up
+and banged out of that shanty. A little later I see him down at the end
+of the sand spit starin' out into the fog; lookin' for a sail, I presume
+likely.
+
+“I finished my breakfast and washed up the dishes. He come in by and by.
+He hadn't had no dinner nor supper, you see, and the salt air gives most
+folks an almighty appetite.
+
+“'Say,' he says, 'I've been thinkin'. It's usual in the stock and
+provision market to deal on a margin. Suppose I pay you a one per cent
+margin now and--'
+
+“'All right,' says I, cheerful. 'Then I'll give you a slip of paper
+sayin' that you've bought such and such slices of pork and hunks of
+johnnycake and I'm carryin' 'em for you on a margin. Of course there
+ain't no delivery of the goods now because--'
+
+“'Humph!' he interrupts, sour. 'You seem to know more'n I thought you
+did. Now are you goin' to be decent and make me a fair price or ain't
+you?'
+
+“'Can't sell under the latest quotations,' says I. 'That's five now; and
+spot cash.'
+
+“'But hang it all!' he says, 'I haven't got money enough with me. Think
+I carry a national bank around in my clothes?'
+
+“'You carry a Wellmouth Bank check book,' says I, 'because I see it in
+your jacket pocket last night when I was dryin' your duds. I'll take a
+check.'
+
+“He started to say somethin' and then stopped. After a spell he seemed
+to give in all to once.
+
+“'Very good,' he says. 'You get my breakfast ready and I'll make out the
+check.'
+
+“That breakfast cost him twenty-five dollars; thirty really, because he
+added another five for an extry cup of coffee. I told him to make the
+check payable to 'Bearer,' as 'twas quicker to write than 'Solomon.'
+
+“He had two more meals that day and at bedtime I had his checks
+amountin' to ninety-five dollars. The fog stayed with us all the time
+and nobody come to pick us up. And the next mornin's outlook was just as
+bad, bein' a drizzlin' rain and a high wind. The mainland beach was in
+sight but that's all except salt water and rain.
+
+“He was surprisin'ly cheerful all that day, eatin' like a horse
+and givin' up his meal checks without a whimper. If things had been
+different from what they was I'd have felt like a mean sneak thief.
+BEIN' as they was, I counted up the hundred and ten I'd made that day
+without a pinch of conscience.
+
+“This was a Wednesday. On Thursday, the third day of our Robinson
+Crusoe business, the weather was still thick, though there was signs of
+clearin'. Fatty come to me after breakfast--which cost him thirty-five,
+payable, as usual, to 'Bearer'--with almost a grin on his big face.
+
+“'Berry,' he says, 'I owe you an apology. I thought you was a green
+Rube, like the rest down here, but you're as sharp as they make 'em. I
+ain't the man to squeal when I get let in on a bad deal, and the chap
+who can work me for a sucker is entitled to all he can make. But this
+pay-as-you-go business is too slow and troublesome. What'll you take for
+the rest of the grub in the locker there, spot cash? Be white, and make
+a fair price.'
+
+“I'd been expectin' somethin' like this, and I was ready for him.
+
+“'Two hundred and sixty-five dollars,' says I, prompt.
+
+“He done a little figgerin'. 'Well, allowin' that I have to put up on
+this heap of desolation for the better part of four days more, that's
+cheap, accordin' to your former rates,' he says. 'I'll go you. But why
+not make it two fifty, even?'
+
+“'Two hundred and sixty-five's my price,' says I. So he handed over
+another 'Bearer' check, and his board bill was paid for a week.
+
+“Friday was a fine day, clear as a bell. Me and Williams had a real
+picnicky, sociable time. Livin' outdoor this way had made him forget his
+diseases and the doctor, and he showed signs of bein' ha'fway decent. We
+loafed around and talked and dug clams to help out the pork--that is, I
+dug 'em and Fatty superintended. We see no less'n three sailin' craft
+go by down the bay and tried our best to signal 'em, but they didn't pay
+attention--thought we was gunners or somethin', I presume likely.
+
+“At breakfast on Saturday, Williams begun to ask questions again.
+
+“'Sol,' says he, 'it surprised me to find that you knew what a “margin”
+ was. You didn't get that from anything I said. Where did you get it?'
+
+“I leaned back on my box seat.
+
+“'Mr. Williams,' says I, 'I cal'late I'll tell you a little story, if
+you want to hear it. 'Tain't much of a yarn, as yarns go, but maybe
+it'll interest you. The start of it goes back to consider'ble many year
+ago, when I was poorer'n I be now, and a mighty sight younger. At that
+time me and another feller, a partner of mine, had a fish weir out in
+the bay here. The mackerel struck in and we done well, unusual well.
+At the end of the season, not countin' what we'd spent for livin' and
+expenses, we had a balance owin' us at our fish dealer's up to Boston
+of five hundred dollars--two fifty apiece. My partner was goin' to
+be married in the spring and was cal'latin' to use his share to buy
+furniture for the new house with. So we decided we'd take a trip up
+to Boston and collect the money, stick it into some savin's bank where
+'twould draw interest until spring and then haul it out and use it.
+'Twas about every cent we had in the world.
+
+“'So to Boston we went, collected our money, got the address of a safe
+bank and started out to find it. But on the way my partner's hat blowed
+off and the bank address, which was on a slip of paper inside of it, got
+lost. So we see a sign on a buildin', along with a lot of others, that
+kind of suggested bankin', and so we stepped into the buildin' and went
+upstairs to ask the way again.
+
+“'The place wa'n't very big, but 'twas fixed up fancy and there was a
+kind of blackboard along the end of the room where a boy was markin' up
+figgers in chalk. A nice, smilin' lookin' man met us and, when we told
+him what we wanted, he asked us to set down. Then, afore we knowed it
+almost, we'd told him the whole story--about the five hundred and all.
+The feller said to hold on a spell and he'd go along with us and show us
+where the savin's bank was himself.
+
+“'So we waited and all the time the figgers kept goin' up on the board,
+under signs of “Pork” and “Wheat” and “Cotton” and such, and we'd hear
+how so and so's account was makin' a thousand a day, and the like of
+that. After a while the nice man, who it turned out was one of the
+bosses of the concern, told us what it meant. Seemed there was a big
+“rise” in the market and them that bought now was bound to get rich
+quick. Consequent we said we wished we could buy and get rich, too. And
+the smilin' chap says, “Let's go have some lunch.”'
+
+“Williams laughed. 'Ho, ho!' says he. 'Expensive lunch, was it?'
+
+“'Most extravagant meal of vittles ever I got away with,' I says. 'Cost
+me and my partner two hundred and fifty apiece, that lunch did. We
+stayed in Boston two days, and on the afternoon of the second day we
+was on our way back totin' a couple of neat but expensive slips of paper
+signifyin' that we'd bought December and May wheat on a one per cent
+margin. We was a hundred ahead already, 'cordin' to the blackboard, and
+was figgerin' what sort of palaces we'd build when we cashed in.'
+
+“'Ain't no use preachin' a long sermon over the remains. 'Twas a simple
+funeral and nobody sent flowers. Inside of a month we was cleaned
+out and the wheat place had gone out of business--failed, busted, you
+understand. Our fish dealer friend asked some questions, and found out
+the shebang wa'n't a real stock dealer's at all. 'Twas what they call
+a “bucket shop,” and we'd bought nothin' but air, and paid a commission
+for buyin' it. And the smilin', nice man that run the swindle had been
+hangin' on the edge of bust for a long while and knowed 'twas comin'.
+Our five hundred had helped pay his way to a healthier climate, that's
+all.'
+
+“'Hold on a minute,' says Fatty, lookin' more interested. 'What was the
+name of the firm that took you greenhorns in?'
+
+“''Twas the Empire Bond, Stock and Grain Exchange,' says I. 'And 'twas
+on Derbyshire Street.'
+
+“He give a little jump. Then he says, slow, Hu-u-m! I--see.'
+
+“'Yes,' says I. 'I thought you would. You had a mustache then and your
+name was diff'rent, but you seemed familiar just the same. When your
+false hair got washed off I knew you right away.'
+
+“He took out his pocket pen and his check book and done a little
+figgerin'.
+
+“'Humph!' he says, again. 'You lost five hundred and I've paid you five
+hundred and five. What's the five for?'
+
+“'That's my commission on the sales,' I says.
+
+“And just then comes a hail from outside the shanty. Out we bolted
+and there was Sam Davis, just steppin' ashore from his power boat.
+Williams's housekeeper had strained a p'int and had shaded her orders by
+a couple of days.
+
+“Williams and Sam started for home right off. I followed in the Shootin'
+Star, havin' borrered gasoline enough for the run. I reached the dock
+ha'f an hour after they did, and there was Fatty waitin' for me.
+
+“'Berry,' says he, 'I've got a word or two to say to you. I ain't
+kickin' at your givin' me tit for tat, or tryin' to. Turn about's fair
+play, if you can call the turn. But it's against my principles to allow
+anybody to beat me on a business deal. Do you suppose,' he says, 'that
+I'd have paid your robber's prices without a word if I hadn't had
+somethin' up my sleeve? Why, man,' says he, 'I gave you my CHECKS, not
+cash. And I've just telephoned to the Wellmouth Bank to stop payment
+on those checks. They're no earthly use to you; see? There's one or two
+things about high finance that you don't know even yet. Ho, ho!'
+
+“And he rocked back and forth on his heels and laughed.
+
+“I held up my hand. 'Wait a jiffy, Mr. Williams,' says I. 'I guess these
+checks are all right. When we fust landed on Woodchuck, I judged by the
+looks of the shanty that Baker hadn't left it for good. I cal'lated
+he'd be back. And sure enough he come back, in his catboat, on Thursday
+evenin', after you'd turned in. Them checks was payable to “Bearer,”
+ you remember, so I give 'em to him. He was to cash 'em in the fust thing
+Friday mornin', and I guess you'll find he's done it.'”
+
+“Well, I swan to MAN!” interrupted the astonished and delighted Phinney.
+“So you had him after all! And I was scart you'd lost every cent.”
+
+Captain Sol chuckled. “Yes,” he went on, “I had him, and his eyes and
+mouth opened together.
+
+“'WHAT?' he bellers. 'Do you mean to say that a boat stopped at that
+dummed island and DIDN'T TAKE US OFF?'
+
+“'Oh,' says I, 'Darius didn't feel called on to take you off, not after
+I told him who you was. You see, Mr. Williams,' I says, 'Darius Baker
+was my partner in that wheat speculation I was tellin' you about.'”
+
+The Captain drew a long breath and re-lit his cigar, which had gone out.
+His friend pounded the settee ecstatically.
+
+“There!” he cried. “I knew the name 'Darius Baker' wa'n't so strange to
+me. When was you and him in partners, Sol?”
+
+“Oh, 'way back in the old days, afore I went to sea at all, and afore
+mother died. You wouldn't remember much about it. Mother and I was
+livin' in Trumet then and our house here was shut up. I was only a kid,
+or not much more, and Williams was young, too.”
+
+“And that's the way he made his money! HIM! Why, he's the most respected
+man in this neighborhood, and goes to church, and--”
+
+“Yes. Well, if you make money ENOUGH you can always be respected--by
+some kinds of people--and find some church that'll take you in. Ain't
+that so, Bailey?”
+
+Captain Stitt and his cousin, Obed Gott, the paint dealer, were standing
+in the doorway of the station. They now entered.
+
+“I guess it's so,” replied Stitt, pulling up a chair, “though I don't
+know what you was talkin' about. However, it's a pretty average safe bet
+that what you say is so, Sol, 'most any time. What's the special 'so,'
+this time?”
+
+“We was talkin' about Mr. Williams,” began Phinney.
+
+“The Grand Panjandrum of East Harniss,” broke in the depot master. “East
+Harniss is blessed with a great man, Bailey, and, like consider'ble many
+blessin's he ain't entirely unmixed.”
+
+Obed and Simeon looked puzzled, but Captain Stitt bounced in his chair
+like a good-natured rubber ball. “Ho! ho!” he chuckled, “you don't
+surprise me, Sol. We had a great man over to South Orham three years ago
+and he begun by blessin's and ended with--with t'other thing. Ho! ho!”
+
+“What do you mean?” demanded Sim.
+
+“Why, I mean Stingy Gabe. You've heard of Stingy Gabe, ain't you?”
+
+“I guess we've all heard somethin' about him,” laughed Captain Sol; “but
+we're willin' to hear more. He was a reformer, wa'n't he?”
+
+“He sartin was! Ho! ho!”
+
+“For the land sakes, tell it, Bailey,” demanded Mr. Gott impatiently.
+“Don't sit there bouncin' and gurglin' and gettin' purple in the face.
+Tell it, or you'll bust tryin' to keep it in.”
+
+“Oh, it's a great, long--” began Captain Bailey protestingly.
+
+“Go on,” urged Phinney. “We've got more time than anything else, the
+most of us. Who was this Stingy Gabe?”
+
+“Yes,” urged Gott, “and what did he reform?”
+
+Captain Stitt held up a compelling hand. “It's all of a piece,” he
+interrupted. “It takes in everything, like an eatin'-house stew. And,
+as usual in them cases, the feller that ordered it didn't know what was
+comin' to him.
+
+“Stingy Gabe was that feller. His Sunday name was Gabriel Atkinson
+Holway, and his dad used to peddle fish from Orham to Denboro and back.
+The old man was christened Gabriel, likewise. He owed 'most everybody,
+and, besides, was so mean that he kept the scales and trimmin's of the
+fish he sold to make chowder for himself and family. All hands called
+him 'Stingy Gabe,' and the boy inherited the name along with the
+fifteen hundred dollars that the old man left when he died. He cleared
+out--young Gabe did--soon as the will was settled and afore the
+outstandin' debts was, and nobody in this latitude see hide nor hair of
+him till three years ago this comin' spring.
+
+“Then, lo and behold you! he drops off the parlor car at the Orham
+station and cruises down to South Orham, bald-headed and bay-windowed,
+sufferin' from pomp and prosperity. Seems he'd been spendin' his life
+cornerin' copper out West and then copperin' the corners in Wall Street.
+The folks in his State couldn't put him in jail, so they sent him to
+Congress. Now, as the Honorable Atkinson Holway, he'd come back to the
+Cape to rest his wrist, which had writer's cramp from signin' stock
+certificates, and to ease his eyes with a sight of the dear old home of
+his boyhood.
+
+“Bill Nickerson comes postin' down to me with the news.
+
+“'Bailey,' says he, 'what do you think's happened? Stingy Gabe's struck
+the town.'
+
+“'For how much?' I asks, anxious. 'Don't let him have it, whatever
+'tis.'
+
+“Then he went on to explain. Gabe was rich as all get out, and 'twas
+his intention to buy back his old man's house and fix it up for a summer
+home. He was delighted to find how little change there was in South
+Orham.
+
+“'No matter if 'tain't but fifteen cents he'll get it, if the s'lectmen
+don't watch him,' I says; and the bills, too. I know HIS tribe.'
+
+“'You don't understand,' says Nickerson. 'He ain't no thief. He's rich,
+I tell you, and he's cal'latin' to do the town good.'
+
+“'Course he is,' I says. 'It runs in the family. His dad done it good,
+too--good as 'twas ever done, I guess.'
+
+“But next day Gabe himself happens along, and I see right off that I'd
+made a mistake in my reckonin'. The Honorable Atkinson Holway wa'n't
+figgerin' to borrow nothin'. When a chap has been skinnin' halibut,
+minnows are too small for him to bother with. Gabe was full of fried
+clams and philanthropy.
+
+“'By Jove! Stitt,' he says, 'livin' here has been the dream of my life.'
+
+“'You'll be glad to wake up, won't you?' says I. 'I wish I could.'
+
+“'I tell you,' he says, 'this little old village is all right! All it
+needs is a public-spirited resident to help it along. I propose to be
+the P. S. R.'
+
+“And on that program he started right in. Fust off he bought his dad's
+old place, built it over into the eight-sided palace that's there now,
+fetched down a small army of servants skippered by an old housekeeper,
+and commenced to live simple but complicated. Then, havin' provided
+the needful charity for himself, he's ready to scatter manna for the
+starvin' native.
+
+“He had a dozen schemes laid out. One was to build a free but expensive
+library; another was to pave the main road with brick; third was to give
+stained-glass windows and velvet cushions to the meetin' house, so's
+the congregation could sleep comfortable in a subdued light. The
+stained-glass idee put him in close touch with the minister, Reverend
+Edwin Fisher, and the minister suggested the men's club. And he took to
+that men's club scheme like an old maid to strong tea; the rest of the
+improvements went into dry dock to refit while Admiral Gabe got his
+men's club off the ways.
+
+“'Twas the billiard room that made the minister hanker for a men's club.
+That billiard room was the worry of his life. Old man Jotham Gale run
+it and had run it sence the Concord fight, in a way of speakin'. You
+remember his sign, maybe: 'Jotham W. Gale. Billiard, Pool, and Sipio
+Saloon. Cigars and Tobacco. Tonics and Pipes. Minors under Ten Years of
+Age not Admitted.' Jotham's customers was called, by the outsiders, 'the
+billiard-room gang.'
+
+“The billiard room gang wa'n't the best folks in town, I'll own right up
+to that. Still, they wa'n't so turrible wicked. Jotham never sold rum,
+and he'd never allow no rows in his place. But, just the same, his
+saloon was reckoned a bad influence. Young men hadn't ought to go
+there--most of us said that. If there was a nicer place TO go, argues
+the minister, 'twould help the moral tone of the community consider'ble.
+'Why not,' says he to Stingy Gabe, 'start a free club for men that'll
+make the billiard room look like the tail boat in a race?' And says
+Gabe: 'Bully! I'll do it.'”
+
+Captain Stitt paused long enough to enjoy a chuckle all by himself.
+Before he had quite finished his laugh, slow and reluctant steps were
+heard on the back platform and Issy appeared on the threshold. He was
+without the package, but did not look happy.
+
+“Well, Is,” inquired the depot master, “did you give the remains to the
+Major?”
+
+“Yes, sir,” answered Issy.
+
+“Did you tell him how the shockin' fatality happened? How the thing got
+broken?”
+
+“Yes, sir, I told him.”
+
+“What did he say? Didn't let his angry passions rise, did he?”
+
+“No-o; no, sir, he didn't rise nothin'. He didn't get mad neither. But
+you could see he felt pretty bad. Talked about 'old family glass' and
+'priceless airloons' or some such. Said much as he regretted to, he
+should feel it no more'n justice to have somebody pay damages.”
+
+“Humph!” Captain Sol looked very grave. “Issy, I can see your finish.
+You'll have to pay for somethin' that's priceless, and how are you goin'
+to do that? 'Old family glass,' hey? Hum! And I thought I saw the label
+of a Boston store on that package.”
+
+Obed Gott leaned forward eagerly.
+
+“Is that Major Hardee you're talkin' about?” he asked.
+
+“Yes, sir. He's the only Major we've got. Cap'ns are plenty as June
+bugs, but Majors and Gen'rals are scarce. Why?”
+
+“Oh, nothin'. Only--” Mr. Gott muttered the remainder of the sentence
+under his breath. However, the depot master heard it and his eye
+twinkled.
+
+“You're glad of it!” he exclaimed. “Why, Obed! Major Cuthbertson Scott
+Hardee! I'm surprised. Better not let the women folks hear you say
+that.”
+
+“Look here!” cried Captain Stitt, rather tartly, “am I goin' to finish
+that yarn of mine or don't you want to hear it?”
+
+“BEG your pardon, Bailey. Go on. The last thing you said was what Stingy
+Gabe said, and that was--”
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER III
+
+“STINGY GABE”
+
+
+“And that,” said Captain Bailey, mollified by the renewed interest of
+his listeners, “was, 'Bully! I'll do it!'
+
+“So he calls a meetin' of everybody interested, at his new house. About
+every respectable man in town was there, includin' me. Most of the
+billiard-room gang was there, likewise. Jotham, of course, wa'n't
+invited.
+
+“Gabe calls the meetin' to order and the minister makes a speech tellin'
+about the scheme. 'Our generous and public-spirited citizen, Honorable
+Atkinson Holway,' had offered to build a suitable clubhouse, fix it up,
+and donate it to the club, them and their heirs forever, Amen. 'Twas to
+belong to the members to do what they pleased with--no strings tied to
+it at all. Dues would be merely nominal, a dollar a year or some such
+matter. Now, who favored such a club as that?
+
+“Well, 'most everybody did. Daniel Bassett, chronic politician, justice
+of the peace, and head of the 'Conservatives' at town meetin', he made
+a talk, and in comes him and his crew. Gaius Ellis, another chronic, who
+is postmaster and skipper of the 'Progressives,' had been fidgetin'
+in his seat, and now up he bobs and says he's for it; then every
+'Progressive' jines immediate. But the billiard-roomers; they didn't
+jine. They looked sort of sheepish, and set still. When Mr. Fisher begun
+to hint p'inted in their direction, they got up and slid outdoor. And
+right then I'd ought to have smelt trouble, but I didn't; had a cold in
+my head, I guess likely.
+
+“Next thing was to build the new clubhouse, and Gabe went at it hammer
+and tongs. He had a big passel of carpenters down from the city, and
+inside of three months the buildin' was up, and she was a daisy, now I
+tell you. There was a readin' room and a meetin' room and an 'amusement
+room.' The amusements was crokinole and parchesi and checkers and the
+like of that. Also there was a gymnasium and a place where you could
+play the pianner and sing--till the sufferin' got acute and somebody
+come along and abated you.
+
+“When I fust went inside that clubhouse I see 'twas bound to be
+'Good-by, Bill,' for Jotham. His customers would shake his ratty old
+shanty for sartin, soon's they see them elegant new rooms. I swan, if I
+didn't feel sorry for the old reprobate, and, thinks I, I'll drop around
+and sympathize a little. Sympathy don't cost nothin', and Jotham's
+pretty good company.
+
+“I found him settin' alongside the peanut roaster, watchin' a couple of
+patients cruelize the pool table.
+
+“'Hello, Bailey!' says he. 'You surprise me. Ain't you 'fraid of
+catchin' somethin' in this ha'nt of sin? Have a chair, anyhow. And a
+cigar, won't you?'
+
+“I took the chair, but I steered off from the cigar, havin' had
+experience. Told him I guessed I'd use my pipe. He chuckled.
+
+“'Fur be it from me to find fault with your judgment,' he says.
+'Terbacker does smoke better'n anything else, don't it.'
+
+“We set there and puffed for five minutes or so. Then he sort of jumped.
+
+“'What's up?' says I.
+
+“'Oh, nothin'!' he says. 'Bije Simmons got a ball in the pocket, that's
+all. Don't do that too often, Bije; I got a weak heart. Well, Bailey,'
+he adds, turnin' to me, 'Gabe's club's fixed up pretty fine, ain't it?'
+
+“'Why, yes,' I says; ''tis.'
+
+“'Finest ever I see,' says he. 'I told him so when I was in there.'
+
+“'What?' says I. 'You don't mean to say YOU'VE been in that clubroom?'
+
+“'Sartin. Why not? I want to take in all the shows there is--'specially
+the free ones. Make a good billiard room, that clubhouse would.'
+
+“I whistled. 'Whew!' says I. 'Didn't tell Gabe THAT, did you?'
+
+“He nodded. 'Yup,' says he. 'I told him.'
+
+“I whistled again. 'What answer did he make?' I asked.
+
+“'Oh, he wa'n't enthusiastic. Seemed to cal'late I'd better shut up my
+head and my shop along with it, afore he knocked off one and his club
+knocked out t'other.'
+
+“I pitied the old rascal; I couldn't help it.
+
+“'Jotham,' says I, 'I ain't the wust friend you've got in South Orham,
+even if I don't play pool much. If I was you I'd clear out of here and
+start somewheres else. You can't fight all the best folks in town.'
+
+“He didn't make no answer. Just kept on a-puffin'. I got up to go. Then
+he laid his hand on my sleeve.
+
+“'Bailey,' says he, 'when Betsy Mayo was ailin', her sister's tribe was
+all for the Faith Cure and her husband's relations was high for patent
+medicine. When the Faith Curists got to workin', in would come some of
+the patent mediciners and give 'em the bounce. And when THEY went home
+for the night, the Faithers would smash all the bottles. Finally they
+got so busy fightin' 'mong themselves that Betsy see she was gettin' no
+better fast, and sent for the reg'lar doctor. HE done the curin', and
+got the pay.'
+
+“'Well,' says I, 'what of it?'
+
+“'Nothin',' says he. 'Only I've been practisin' a considerable spell. So
+long. Come in again some time when it's dark and the respectable element
+can't see you.'
+
+“I went away thinkin' hard. And next mornin' I hunted up Gabe, and says
+I:
+
+“'Mr. Holway,' I says, 'what puzzles me is how you're goin' to elect the
+officers for the new club. Put up a Conservative and the Progressives
+resign. H'ist the Progressive ensign and the Conservatives'll mutiny. As
+for the billiard-roomers--providin' any jine--they've never been known
+to vote for anybody but themselves. I can't see no light yet--nothin'
+but fog.'
+
+“He winks, sly and profound. 'That's all right,' says he. 'Fisher and I
+have planned that. You watch!'
+
+“Sure enough, they had. The minister was mighty popular, so, when 'twas
+out that he was candidate to be fust president of the club, all hands
+was satisfied. Two vice presidents was named--one bein' Bassett and
+t'other Ellis. Secretary was a leadin' Conservative; treasurer a head
+Progressive. Officers and crew was happy and mutiny sunk ten fathoms.
+ONLY none of the billiard-room gang had jined, and they was the fish we
+was really tryin' for.
+
+“'Twas next March afore one of 'em did come into the net, though we'd
+have on all kinds of bait--suppers and free ice cream Saturday nights,
+and the like of that. And meantime things had been happenin'.
+
+“The fust thing of importance was Gabe's leavin' town. Our Cape winter
+weather was what fixed him. He stood the no'theasters and Scotch
+drizzles till January, and then he heads for Key West and comfort.
+Said his heart still beat warm for his native village, but his feet was
+froze--or words similar. He cal'lated to be back in the spring. Then
+the Reverend Fisher got a call to somewheres in York State, and felt
+he couldn't afford not to hear it. Nobody blamed him; the salary paid
+a minister in South Orham is enough to make any feller buy patent ear
+drums. But that left our men's club without either skipper or pilot, as
+you might say.
+
+“One week after the farewell sermon, Daniel Bassett drops in casual on
+me. He was passin' around smoking material lavish and regardless.
+
+“'Stitt,' says he, 'you've always voted for Conservatism in our local
+affairs, haven't you?'
+
+“'Well,' says I, 'I didn't vote to roof the town hall with a new
+mortgage, if that's what you mean.'
+
+“'Exactly,' he says. 'Now, our men's club, while not as yet the success
+we hoped for, has come to be a power for good in our community. It needs
+for its president a conservative, thoughtful man. Bailey,' he says, 'it
+has come to my ears that Gaius Ellis intends to run for that office. You
+know him. As a taxpayer, as a sober, thoughtful citizen, my gorge rises
+at such insolence. I protest, sir! I protest against--'
+
+“He was standin' up, makin' gestures with both arms, and he had his
+town-meetin' voice iled and runnin'. I was too busy to hanker for a
+stump speech, so I cut across his bows.
+
+“'All right, all right,' says I. 'I'll vote for you, Dan.'
+
+“He fetched a long breath. 'Thank you,' says he. 'Thank you. That makes
+ten. Ellis can count on no more than nine. My election is assured.'
+
+“Seein' that there wa'n't but nineteen reg'lar voters who come to the
+club meetin's, if Bassett had ten of 'em it sartin did look as if he'd
+get in. But on election night what does Gaius Ellis do but send a wagon
+after old man Solomon Peavey, who'd been dry docked with rheumatiz
+for three months, and Sol's vote evened her up. 'Twas ten to ten, a
+deadlock, and the election was postponed for another week.
+
+“This was of a Tuesday. On Wednesday I met Bije Simmons, the chap who
+was playin' pool at Jotham's.
+
+“'Hey, Bailey!' says he. 'Shake hands with a brother. I'm goin' to jine
+the men's club.'
+
+“'You BE?' says I, surprised enough, for Simmons was a billiard-roomer
+from 'way back.
+
+“'Yup,' he says. 'I'll be voted in at next meetin', sure. I'm studyin'
+up on parchesi now.'
+
+“'Hum!' I says, thinkin'. 'How you goin to vote?'
+
+“'Me?' says he. 'Me? Why, man, I wonder at you! Can't you see the
+fires of Conservatism blazin' in my eyes? I'm Conservative bred and
+Conservative born, and when I'm dead there'll be a Conservative gone.
+By, by. See you Tuesday night.'
+
+“He went off, stoppin' everybody he met to tell 'em the news. And on
+Thursday Ed Barnes dropped in to pay me the seventy-five cents he'd
+borrowed two years ago come Fourth of July. When I'd got over the
+fust shock and had counted the money three times, I commenced to ask
+questions.
+
+“'Somebody die and will you a million, Ed?' I wanted to know.
+
+“'No,' says he. 'It's the reward of virtue. I'm goin' to be a better
+man. I'm jinin' the men's club.'
+
+“'NO!' says I, for Ed was as strong a billiard-roomer as Bije.
+
+“'Sure!' he answers. 'I'm filled full of desires for crokinole and
+progressiveness. See you Tuesday night at the meetin'.'
+
+“And, would you b'lieve it, at that meetin' no less'n six confirmed
+members of the billiard-room gang was voted into the men's club. 'Twas
+a hallelujah gatherin'. I couldn't help thinkin' how glad and proud
+Gabe and Mr. Fisher would have been to see their dreams comin' true.
+But Bassett and Ellis looked more worried than glad, and when the votin'
+took place I understood the reason. Them new members had divided even,
+and the ballots stood Bassett thirteen and Ellis thirteen. The tie was
+still on and the election was put off for another week.
+
+“In that week, surprisin' as it may seem, two more billiard-roomers seen
+a light and jined with us. However, one was for Bassett and t'other for
+Ellis, so the deadlock wa'n't broken. Jotham had only a couple of his
+reg'lars left, and I swan to man if THEY didn't catch the disease inside
+of the follerin' fortni't and hand in their names. The 'Billiard, Pool,
+and Sipio Saloon,' from bein' the liveliest place in town, was now the
+deadest. Through the window you could see poor Jotham mopin' lonesome
+among his peanuts and cigars. The sayin' concernin' the hardness of
+the transgressor's sleddin' was workin' out for HIM, all right. But the
+conversions had come so sudden that I couldn't understand it, though I
+did have some suspicions.
+
+“'Look here, Dan,' says I to Bassett, 'are you goin' to keep this up
+till judgment? There ain't but thirty votin' names in this place--except
+the chaps off fishin', and they won't be back till fall. Fifteen is for
+you and fifteen for Gaius. Most astonishin' agreement of difference ever
+I see. We'll never have a president, at this rate.'
+
+“He winked. 'Won't, hey?' he says. 'Sure you've counted right? I make it
+thirty-one.'
+
+“'I don't see how,' says I, puzzled. 'Nobody's left outside the club but
+Jotham himself, and he--'
+
+“'That's all right,' he interrupts, winkin' again. 'You be on hand next
+Tuesday night. You can't always tell, maybe somethin'll happen.'
+
+“I was on hand, all right, and somethin' did happen, two somethin's, in
+fact. We hadn't much more'n got in our seats afore the door opened,
+and in walked Gaius Ellis, arm in arm with a man; and the man was the
+Honorable Stingy Gabe Atkinson Holway.
+
+“'Gentlemen,' sings out Gaius, bubblin' over with joy, 'I propose three
+cheers for our founder, who has returned to us after his long absence.'
+
+“We give the cheers--that is, some of the folks did. Bassett and our
+gang wa'n't cheerin' much; they looked as if somebody had passed 'em
+a counterfeit note. You see, Gabe Holway was one of the hide-boundest
+Progressives afloat, and a blind man could see who'd got him back again
+and which way he'd vote. It sartinly looked bad for Bassett now.
+
+“Gaius proposes that, out of compliment, as founder of the club, Mr.
+Holway be asked to preside. So he was asked, though the Conservatives
+wa'n't very enthusiastic. Gabe took the chair, preached a little sermon
+about bein' glad to see his native home once more, and raps for order.
+
+“'If there's no other business afore the meetin',' says he, 'we will
+proceed to ballot for president.'
+
+“But it turned out that there was other business. Dan Bassett riz to his
+feet and commenced one of the most feelin' addresses ever I listened to.
+
+“Fust he congratulated all hands upon the success of Mr. Holway's
+philanthropic scheme for the betterment of South Orham's male citizens.
+Jeered at at fust by the unregenerate, it had gone on, winnin' its way
+into the hearts of the people, until one by one the said unregenerate
+had regenerated, and now the club numbered thirty souls and the
+Honorable Atkinson.
+
+“'But,' says Dan, wavin' his arms, 'one man yet remains outside. One
+lone man! The chief sinner, you say? Yes, I admit it. But, gentlemen,
+a repentant sinner. Alone he sits amid the wreck of his business--a
+business wrecked by us, gentlemen--without a customer, without a friend.
+Shall it be said that the free and open-handed men's club of South Orham
+turned its back upon one man, merely because he HAS been what he was?
+Gentlemen, I have talked with Jotham Gale; he is old, he is friendless,
+he no longer has a means of livelihood--we have taken it from him. We
+have turned his followers' steps to better paths. Shall we not turn
+his, also? Gentlemen and friends, Jotham Gale is repentant, he feels
+his ostrichism'--whatever he meant by that--'he desires to become
+self-respecting, and he asks us to help him. He wishes to join this
+club. Gentlemen, I propose for membership in our association the name of
+Jotham W. Gale.'
+
+“He set down and mopped his face. And the powwow that broke loose was
+somethin' tremendous. Of course 'twas plain enough what Dan's game was.
+This was the 'somethin'' that was goin' to happen.
+
+“Ellis see the way the land lay, and he bounces up to protest. 'Twas
+an outrage; a scandal; ridiculous; and so forth, and so on. Poor Gabe
+didn't know what to do, and so he didn't do nothin'. A head Conservative
+seconds Jotham's nomination. 'Twas put to a vote and carried easy. Dan's
+speech had had its effect and a good many folks voted out of sympathy.
+How did I vote? I'LL never tell you.
+
+“And then Bassett gets up, smilin', goes to the outside door, opens it,
+and leads in the new member. He'd been waitin' on the steps, it turned
+out. Jotham looked mighty quiet and meek. I pitied the poor old codger
+more'n ever. Snaked in, he was, out of the wet, like a yeller dog, by
+the club that had kicked him out of his own shop.
+
+“Chairman Gabe pounds for order, and suggests that the votin' can go on.
+But Ellis jumps up, and says he:
+
+“'What's the sense of votin' now?' he asks sarcastic. 'Will the lost
+lamb we've just yanked into the fold have the face to stand up and bleat
+that he hasn't promised to vote Conservative? Dan Bassett, of all the
+contemptible tricks that ever--'
+
+“Bassett's face was redder'n a ripe tomatter. He shakes his fist in
+Gaius's face and yells opinions and comments.
+
+“'Don't you talk to me about tricks, you ward-heeler!' he hollers.
+'Why did you fetch Mr. Holway back home? Why did you, hey? That was the
+trickiest trick that I--'
+
+“Gabe pretty nigh broke his mallet thumpin'.
+
+“'Gentlemen! gentlemen!' says he. 'This is most unseemly. Sit down,
+if you PLEASE. Mr. Ellis, when the purpose of this association is
+considered, it seems to me very wrong to find fault because the chief of
+our former antagonists has seen the error of his ways and become one of
+us. Mr. Bassett, I do not understand your intimation concernin' myself.
+I shall adjourn this meetin' until next Friday evenin', gentlemen.
+Meanwhile, let us remember that we ARE gentlemen.'
+
+“He thumped the desk once, and parades out of the buildin', dignified
+as Julius Caesar. The rest of us toddled along after him, all talkin' at
+once. Bassett and Ellis glowered at each other and hove out hints about
+what would happen afore they got through. 'Twas half-past ten afore I
+got to bed that night, and Sarah J.--that's Mrs. Stitt--kept me awake
+another hour explainin' whys and wherefores.
+
+“For the next three days nobody done anything but knock off work and
+talk club politics. You'd see 'em on the corners and in the post office
+and camped on the meetin'-house steps, arguin' and jawin'. Dan and Gaius
+was hurryin' around, moppin' their foreheads and lookin' worried. On
+Thursday there was all sorts of rumors afloat. Finally they all simmered
+down to one, and that one was what made me stop Stingy Gabe on the
+street and ask for my bearin's.
+
+“'Mr. Holway,' says I, 'is it true that Dan and Gaius have resigned and
+agreed to vote for somebody else?'
+
+“He nodded, grand and complacent.
+
+“'Then who's the somebody?' says I. 'For the land sakes! tell me. It's
+as big a miracle as the prodigal son.'
+
+“I remember now that the prodigal son ain't a miracle, but I was excited
+then.
+
+“'Stitt,' says he, 'I am the “somebody,” as you call it. I have decided
+to let my own wishes and inclinations count for nothin' in this affair,
+and to accept the office of president myself. It will be announced at
+the meetin'.'
+
+“I whistled. 'By gum!' says I. 'You've got a great head, Mr. Holway, and
+I give you public credit for it. It's the only course that ain't full of
+breakers. Did you think of it yourself?'
+
+“He colored up a little. 'Why, no, not exactly,' he says. 'The fact is,
+the credit belongs to our new member, Mr. Gale.'
+
+“'To JOTHAM?' says I, astonished.
+
+“'Yes. He suggested my candidacy, as a compromise. Said that he, for
+one, would be proud to vote for me. Mr. Gale seems thoroughly repentant,
+a changed man. I am counting on him for great things in the future.'
+
+“So the fuss seemed settled, thanks to the last person on earth you'd
+expect would be peacemaker. But that afternoon I met Darius Tompkins,
+Bassett's right-hand man.
+
+“'Bailey,' says he, 'you're a Conservative, ain't you? You're for Dan
+through thick and thin?'
+
+“'Why!' says I, 'I understand Dan and Gaius are both out of it now, and
+it's settled on Holway. Dan's promised to vote for him.'
+
+“'HE has,' says Tompkins, with a wink, 'but the rest of us ain't. We
+pledged our votes to Dan Bassett, and we ain't the kind to go back on
+our word. Dan himself'll vote for Gabe; so'll Gaius and his reg'lar
+tribe. That'll make twelve, countin' Holway's own.'
+
+“'Make seventeen, you mean,' says I. 'Gaius and his crowd's fifteen and
+Dan's sixteen and Gabe's seven--'
+
+“He winked again, and interrupted me. 'You're countin' wrong, my boy,'
+says he. 'Five of Gaius's folks come from the old billiard-room gang.
+Just suppose somethin' happened to make that five vote, on the quiet,
+for Bassett. Then--'
+
+“A customer come in then, and Tompkins had to leave; but afore he went
+he got me to one side and whispers:
+
+“'Keep mum, old man, and vote straight for Dan. We'll show old Holway
+that we can't be led around by the nose.'
+
+“'Tompkins,' says I, 'I know your head well enough to be sartin that it
+didn't work this out by itself. And why are you so sure of the billiard
+roomers? Who put you up to this?'
+
+“He rapped the side of his nose. 'The smartest politician in this
+town,' says he, 'and the oldest--J. W. Gale, Esq.! S-s-sh-h! Don't say
+nothin'.'
+
+“I didn't say nothin'. I was past talk. And that evenin' as I went past
+the billiard room on my way home, who should come out of it but Gaius
+Ellis, and HE looked as happy as Tompkins had.
+
+“Friday night that clubroom was filled. Every member was there, and most
+of 'em had fetched their wives and families along to see the fun. There
+was whisperin' and secrecy everywheres. Honorable Gabe took the chair
+and makes announcements that the shebang is open for business.
+
+“Up gets Dave Bassett and all but sheds tears. He says that he made up
+his mind to vote, not for himself, but for the founder and patron of
+the club, the Honorable Atkinson Holway. He spread it over Gabe thick
+as sugar on a youngster's cake. And when he set down all hands applauded
+like fury. But I noticed that he hadn't spoke for nary Conservative but
+himself.
+
+“Then Gaius Ellis rises and sobs similar. He's stopped votin' for
+himself, too. His ballot is for that grand and good man, Gabriel
+Atkinson Holway, Esq. More applause and hurrahs.
+
+“And then who should get up but Jotham Gale. He talks humble, like a
+has-been that knows he's a back number, but he says it's his privilege
+to cast his fust vote in that club for Mr. Holway, South Orham's pride.
+Nobody was expectin' him to say anything, and the cheers pretty nigh
+broke the winders.
+
+“Gabe was turrible affected by the soft soap, you could see that. He
+fairly sobbed as he sprinkled gratitude and acceptances. When the agony
+was over, he says the votin' can begin.
+
+“I cal'lated he expected somebody'd move to make it unanimous, but they
+didn't. So the blank ballots was handed around, and the pencils got
+busy. Gabe app'ints three tellers, Bassett and Ellis, of course, for
+two--and the third, Jotham Gale.
+
+“'As a compliment to our newest member,' says the chairman, smilin'
+philanthropic.
+
+“When the votes was in the hat, the tellers retired to the amusement
+room to count up. It took a long time. I see the Conservatives and
+Progressives nudgin' each other and winkin' back and forth. Five
+minutes, then ten, then fifteen.
+
+“And all of a sudden the biggest row bu'st loose in that amusement room
+that ever you heard. Rattlety--bang! Biff! Smash! The door flew open,
+and in rolled Bassett and Ellis, all legs and arms. Gabe and some of the
+rest hauled 'em apart and held 'em so, but the language them two hove at
+each other was enough to bring down a judgment.
+
+“'Gentlemen! gentlemen!' hollers poor Gabe. 'What in the world? I am
+astounded! I--'
+
+“'You miserable traitor!' shrieks Gaius, wavin' a fist at Dan.
+
+“'You low-down hound!' whoops Dan back at him.
+
+“'Silence!' bellers Gabe, poundin' thunder storms on the desk. 'Will
+some one explain why these maniacs are--Ah, Mr. Gale--thank goodness,
+YOU at least are sane!'
+
+“Jotham walks to the front of the platform. He was holdin' the hat and a
+slip of paper with the result set down on it.
+
+“'Ladies and feller members,' says he, 'there's been some surprisin'
+votin' done in this election. Things ain't gone as we cal'lated they
+would, somehow. Mr. Holway, your election wa'n't unanimous, after all.'
+
+“The way he said it made most everybody think Gabe was elected, anyhow,
+and I guess Holway thought so himself, for he smiled forgivin' and says:
+
+“'Never mind, Mr. Gale,' says he. 'A unanimous vote was perhaps too much
+to expect. Go on.'
+
+“'Yes,' says Jotham. 'Well, here's the way it stands. I'll read it to
+you.'
+
+“He fixes his specs and reads like this:
+
+“'Number of votes cast, 32.'
+
+“'Honorable Atkinson Holway has 4.'
+
+“'WHAT?' gasps Stingy Gabe, fallin' into his chair.
+
+“'Yes, sir,' says Jotham. 'It's a shame, I know, but it looks as nobody
+voted for you, Mr. Holway, but yourself and me and Dan and Gaius. To
+proceed:
+
+“'Daniel Bassett has 9.'
+
+“The Conservatives and their women folks fairly groaned out loud.
+Tompkins jumped to his feet, but Jotham held up a hand.
+
+“'Just a moment, D'rius,' he says. 'I ain't through yet.'
+
+“'Gaius Ellis has 9.'
+
+“Then 'twas the Progressives' turn to groan. The racket and hubbub was
+gettin' louder all the time.
+
+“'There's ten votes left,' goes on Jotham, 'and they bear the name
+of Jotham W. Gale. I can't understand it, but it does appear that I'm
+elected president of this 'ere club. Gentlemen, I thank you for the
+honor, which is as great as 'tis unexpected.'
+
+“Gabe and the Progressives and the Conservatives set and looked at each
+other. And up jumps 'Bije Simmons, and calls for three cheers for the
+new president.
+
+“Nobody jined in them cheers but the old billiard room gang; they did,
+though, every one of 'em, and Jotham smiled fatherly down on his flock.
+
+“I s'pose there ain't no need of explainin'. Jotham had worked it all,
+from the very fust. When the tie business begun and Gaius and Dan was
+bribin' the billiard roomers to jine the club, 'twas him that fixed how
+they should vote so's to keep the deadlock goin'. 'Twas him that put
+Bassett up to proposin' him as a member. 'Twas him that suggested Gabe's
+comin' back to Gaius. 'Twas him that--But what's the use? 'Twas him all
+along. He was IT.
+
+“That night everybody but the billiard-room gang sent in their
+resignation to that club. We refused to be bossed by such people. Gabe
+resigned, too. He was disgusted with East Harniss and all hands in it.
+He'd have took back the clubhouse, but he couldn't, as the deed of gift
+was free and clear. But he swore he'd never give it another cent.
+
+“Folks thought that would end the thing, because it wouldn't be
+self-supportin', but Jotham had different idees. He simply moved his
+pool tables and truck up from the old shop, and now he's got the finest
+place of the kind on the Cape, rent free.
+
+“'I told you 'twould make a good billiard saloon, didn't I, Bailey?' he
+says, chucklin'.
+
+“'Jotham,' says I, 'of your kind you're a perfect wonder.'
+
+“'Well,' says he, 'I diagnosed that men's club as sufferin' from acute
+politics. I've been doctorin' that disease for a long time. The trouble
+with you reformers,' he adds, solemn, 'is that, when it comes to
+political doin's, you ain't practical.'
+
+“As for Stingy Gabe, he shut up his fine house and moved to New York.
+Said he was through with helpin' the moral tone.
+
+“'When I die,' he says to me, 'if I go to the bad place I may start in
+reformin' that. It don't need it no more'n South Orham does, but 'twill
+be enough sight easier job.'
+
+“And,” concluded Captain Stitt, as soon as he could be heard above the
+“Haw! haws!” caused by the Honorable Holway's final summing-up of his
+native town, “I ain't so sure that he was greatly mistook. What do you
+think, Sol?”
+
+The depot master shook his head. “Don't know, Bailey,” he answered,
+dryly. “I'll have to visit both places 'fore I give an opinion. I HAVE
+been to South Orham, but the neighborhood that your friend Gabe compared
+it to I ain't seen--yet. I put on that 'yet,'” he added, with a wink,
+“'cause I knew Sim Phinney would if I didn't.”
+
+Captain Bailey rose and covered a yawn with a plump hand.
+
+“I believe I'll go over to Obed's and turn in,” he said. “I'm sleepy as
+a minister's horse tonight. You don't mind, do you, Obed?”
+
+“No-o,” replied Mr. Gott, slowly. “No, I don't, 'special. I kind of
+thought I'd run into the club a few minutes and see some of the other
+fellers. But it ain't important--not very.”
+
+The “club” was one of the rooms over Mr. Higgins's store and post
+office. It had been recently fitted up with chairs and tables from
+its members' garrets and, when the depot and store were closed, was a
+favorite gathering place of those reckless ones who cared to “set up
+late”--that is, until eleven o'clock. Most of the men in town belonged,
+but many, Captain Berry among them, visited the room but seldom.
+
+“Checkers,” said the depot master, referring to the “club's” favorite
+game, “is too deliberately excitin' for me. To watch Beriah Higgins and
+Ezra Weeks fightin' out a game of checkers is like gettin' your feet
+froze in January and waitin' for spring to come and thaw 'em out. It's a
+numbin' kind of dissipation.”
+
+But Obed Gott was a regular attendant at the “club,” and to-night he
+had a particular reason for wishing to be there. His cousin noticed his
+hesitation and made haste to relieve his mind.
+
+“That's all right, Obed,” he said, “go to the club, by all means. I
+ain't such a stranger at your house that I can't find my way to bed
+without help. Good-night, Sim. Good-night, Issy. Cheer up; maybe the
+Major's glassware IS priceless. So long, Cap'n Sol. See you again some
+time tomorrer.”
+
+He and Mr. Gott departed. The depot master rose from his chair. “Issy,”
+ he commanded, “shut up shop.”
+
+Issy obeyed, closing the windows and locking the front door. Captain
+Sol himself locked the ticket case and put the cash till into the small
+safe.
+
+“That'll do, Is,” said the Captain. “Good-night. Don't worry too much
+over the Major's glass. I'll talk with him, myself. You dream about
+pleasanter things--your girl, if you've got one.”
+
+That was a chance shot, but it struck Issy in the heart. Even during
+his melancholy progress to and from Major Hardee's, the vision of Gertie
+Higgins had danced before his greenish-blue eyes. His freckles were
+engulfed in a surge of blushes as, with a stammered “Night, Cap'n
+Berry,” he hurried out into the moonlight.
+
+The depot master blew out the lamps. “Come on, Sim,” he said, briefly.
+“Goin' to walk up with me, or was YOU goin' to the club?”
+
+“Cal'late I'll trot along with you, if you don't mind. I'd just as soon
+get home early and wrastle with the figures on that Williams movin'
+job.”
+
+They left the depot, locked and dark, passed the “general store,” where
+Mr. Higgins was putting out his lights prior to adjournment to the
+“club” overhead, walked up Main Street to Cross Street, turned and began
+climbing the hill. Simeon spoke several times but his friend did not
+answer. A sudden change had come over him. The good spirits with which
+he told of his adventure with Williams and which had remained during
+Phinney's stay at the depot, were gone, apparently. His face, in the
+moonlight, was grave and he strode on, his hands in his pockets.
+
+At the crest of the hill he stopped.
+
+“Good-night, Sim,” he said, shortly, and, turning, walked off.
+
+The building mover gazed after him in surprise. The nearest way to the
+Berry home was straight down Cross Street, on the other side of the
+hill, to the Shore Road, and thence along that road for an eighth of
+a mile. The Captain's usual course was just that. But to-night he had
+taken the long route, the Hill Boulevard, which made a wide curve before
+it descended to the road below.
+
+Sim, who had had a shrewd suspicion concerning his friend's silence and
+evident mental disturbance, stood still, looking and wondering. Olive
+Edwards, Captain Berry's old sweetheart, lived on the Boulevard. She
+was in trouble and the Captain knew it. He had asked, that very evening,
+what she was going to do when forced to move. Phinney could not tell
+him. Had he gone to find out for himself? Was the mountain at last
+coming to Mohammed?
+
+For some minutes Simeon remained where he was, thinking and surmising.
+Then he, too, turned and walked cautiously up the Boulevard. He
+passed the Williams mansion, its library windows ablaze. He passed
+the twenty-five room “cottage” of the gentleman from Chicago. Then
+he halted. Opposite him was the little Edwards dwelling and shop. The
+curtains were up and there was a lamp burning on the small counter.
+Beside the lamp, in a rocking chair, sat Olive Edwards, the widow,
+sewing. As he gazed she dropped the sewing in her lap, and raised her
+head.
+
+Phinney saw how worn and sad she looked. And yet, how young, considering
+her forty years and all she had endured and must endure. She put her
+hand over her eyes, then removed it wearily. A lump came in Simeon's
+throat. If he might only help her; if SOME ONE might help her in her
+lonely misery.
+
+And then, from where he stood in the shadow of the Chicago gentleman's
+hedge, he saw a figure step from the shadows fifty feet farther on.
+It was Captain Solomon Berry. He walked to the middle of the road
+and halted, looking in at Olive. Phinney's heart gave a jump. Was the
+Captain going into that house, going to HER, after all these years? WAS
+the mountain--
+
+But no. For a full minute the depot master stood, looking in at the
+woman by the lamp. Then he jammed his hands into his pockets, wheeled,
+and tramped rapidly off toward his home. Simeon Phinney went home, also,
+but it was with a heavy heart that he sat down to figure the cost of
+moving the Williams “pure Colonial” to its destined location.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IV
+
+THE MAJOR
+
+
+The depot master and his friend, Mr. Phinney, were not the only ones
+whose souls were troubled that evening. Obed Gott, as he stood at the
+foot of the stairs leading to the meeting place of the “club,” was vexed
+and worried. His cousin, Captain Stitt, had gone into the house and up
+to his room, and Obed, after seeing him safely on his way, had returned
+to the club. But, instead of entering immediately, he stood in the
+Higgins doorway, thinking, and frowning as he thought. And the subject
+of his thought was the idol of feminine East Harniss, the “old-school
+gentleman,” Major Cuthbertson Scott Hardee.
+
+The Major first came to East Harniss one balmy morning in March--came,
+and created an immediate sensation. “Redny” Blount, who drives the
+“depot wagon,” was wrestling with a sample trunk belonging to the
+traveling representative of Messrs. Braid & Gimp, of Boston, when he
+heard a voice--and such a voice--saying:
+
+“Pardon me, my dear sir, but may I trouble you for one moment?”
+
+Now “Redny” was not used to being addressed as “my dear sir.” He turned
+wonderingly, and saw the Major, in all his glory, standing beside him.
+“Redny's” gaze took in the tall, slim figure in the frock coat tightly
+buttoned; took in the white hair, worn just long enough to touch
+the collar of the frock coat; the long, drooping white mustache and
+imperial; the old-fashioned stock and open collar; the black and white
+checked trousers; the gaiters; and, last of all, the flat brimmed,
+carefully brushed, old-fashioned silk hat. Mr. Blount gasped.
+
+“Huh?” he said.
+
+“Pardon me, my dear sir,” repeated the Major, blandly, smoothly, and
+with an air of--well, not condescension, but gracious familiarity. “Will
+you be so extremely kind as to inform me concerning the most direct
+route to the hotel or boarding house?”
+
+The word “hotel” was the only part of this speech that struck home to
+“Redny's” awed mind.
+
+“Hotel?” he repeated, slowly. “Why, yes, sir. I'm goin' right that way.
+If you'll git right into my barge I'll fetch you there in ten minutes.”
+
+There was enough in this reply, and the manner in which it was
+delivered, to have furnished the station idlers, in the ordinary course
+of events, with matter for gossip and discussion for a week. Mr. Blount
+had not addressed a person as “sir” since he went to school. But no
+one thought of this; all were too much overcome by the splendor of the
+Major's presence.
+
+“Thank you,” replied the Major. “Thank you. I am obliged to you, sir.
+Augustus, you may place the baggage in this gentleman's conveyance.”
+
+Augustus was an elderly negro, very black as to face and a trifle shabby
+as to clothes, but with a shadow of his master's gentility, like a
+reflected luster, pervading his person. He bowed low, departed, and
+returned dragging a large, old style trunk, and carrying a plump valise.
+
+“Augustus,” said the Major, “you may sit upon the seat with the driver.
+That is,” he added, courteously, “if Mr.--Mr.--”
+
+“Blount,” prompted the gratified “Redny.”
+
+“If Mr. Blount will be good enough to permit you to do so.”
+
+“Why, sartin. Jump right up. Giddap, you!”
+
+There was but one passenger, besides the Major and Augustus, in the
+“depot wagon” that morning. This passenger was Mrs. Polena Ginn, who had
+been to Brockton on a visit. To Mrs. Polena the Major, raising his hat
+in a manner that no native of East Harniss could acquire by a lifetime
+of teaching, observed that it was a beautiful morning. The flustered
+widow replied that it “was so.” This was the beginning of a conversation
+that lasted until the “Central House” was reached, a conversation that
+left Polena impressed with the idea that her new acquaintance was as
+near the pink of perfection as mortal could be.
+
+“It wa'n't his clothes, nuther,” she told her brother, Obed Gott, as
+they sat at the dinner table. “I don't know what 'twas, but you could
+jest see that he was a gentleman all over. I wouldn't wonder if he was
+one of them New York millionaires, like Mr. Williams--but SO different.
+'Redny' Blount says he see his name onto the hotel register and 'twas
+'Cuthbertson Scott Hardee.' Ain't that a tony name for you? And his
+darky man called him 'Major.' I never see sech manners on a livin' soul!
+Obed, I DO wish you'd stop eatin' pie with a knife.”
+
+Under these pleasing circumstances did Major Cuthbertson Scott Hardee
+make his first appearance in East Harniss, and the reputation spread
+abroad by Mr. Blount and Mrs. Ginn was confirmed as other prominent
+citizens met him, and fell under the spell. In two short weeks he
+was the most popular and respected man in the village. The Methodist
+minister said, at the Thursday evening sociable, that “Major Hardee is
+a true type of the old-school gentleman,” whereupon Beriah Higgins, who
+was running for selectman, and therefore felt obliged to be interested
+in all educational matters, asked whereabouts that school was located,
+and who was teaching it now.
+
+It was a treat to see the Major stroll down Main Street to the post
+office every pleasant spring morning. Coat buttoned tight, silk hat the
+veriest trifle on one side, one glove on and its mate carried with
+the cane in the other hand, and the buttonhole bouquet--always the
+bouquet--as fresh and bright and jaunty as its wearer himself.
+
+It seemed that every housekeeper whose dwelling happened to be situated
+along that portion of the main road had business in the front yard at
+the time of the Major's passing. There were steps to be swept, or rugs
+to be shaken, or doorknobs to be polished just at that particular time.
+Dialogues like the following interrupted the triumphal progress at three
+minute intervals:
+
+“Good-morning, Mrs. Sogberry. GOOD-morning. A delightful morning. Busy
+as the proverbial bee once more, I see. I can never cease to admire the
+industry and model neatness of the Massachusetts housekeeper. And how is
+your charming daughter this morning? Better, I trust?”
+
+“Well, now, Major Hardee, I don't know. Abbie ain't so well's I wish she
+was. She set up a spell yesterday, but the doctor says she ain't gittin'
+along the way she'd ought to. I says to him, s'I, 'Abbie ain't never
+what you'd call a reel hearty eater, but, my land! when she don't eat
+NOTHIN',' I says--”
+
+And so on and so on, with the Major always willing to listen, always
+sympathetic, and always so charmingly courteous.
+
+The Central House, East Harniss's sole hotel, and a very small one at
+that, closed its doors on April 10th. Mr. Godfrey, its proprietor,
+had come to the country for his health. He had been inveigled, by an
+advertisement in a Boston paper, into buying the Central House at East
+Harniss. It would afford him, so he reasoned, light employment and a
+living. The employment was light enough, but the living was lighter. He
+kept the Central House for a year. Then he gave it up as a bad job and
+returned to the city. “I might keep my health if I stayed,” he admitted,
+in explaining his position to Captain Berry, “but if I want to keep
+to what little money I have left, I'd better go. Might as well die of
+disease as starvation.”
+
+Everyone expected that the “gentleman of the old school” would go also,
+but one evening Abner Payne, whose business is “real estate, fire and
+life insurance, justice of the peace, and houses to let and for sale,”
+ rushed into the post office to announce that the Major had leased the
+“Gorham place,” furnished, and intended to make East Harniss his home.
+
+“He likes the village so well he's goin' to stay here always,” explained
+Abner. “Says he's been all 'round the world, but he never see a place he
+liked so well's he does East Harniss. How's that for high, hey? And you
+callin' it a one-horse town, Obed Gott!”
+
+The Major moved into the “Gorham place” the next morning. It--the
+“place”--was an old-fashioned house on the hill, though not on Mr.
+Williams' “Boulevard.” It had been one of the finest mansions in town
+once on a time, but had deteriorated rapidly since old Captain Elijah
+Gorham died. Augustus carried the Major's baggage from the hotel to
+the house. This was done very early and none of the natives saw the
+transfer. There was some speculation as to how the darky managed to
+carry the big trunk single-handed; one of two persons asked Augustus
+this very question, but they received no satisfactory answer. Augustus
+was habitually close-mouthed. Mr. Godfrey left town that same morning on
+the first train.
+
+The Major christened his new home “Silver-leaf Hall,” because of two
+great “silver-leaf” trees that stood by the front door. He had some
+repairing, paper hanging and painting done, ordered a big stock of
+groceries from the local dealer, and showed by his every action that
+his stay in East Harniss was to be a lengthy one. He hired a pew in the
+Methodist church, and joined the “club.” Augustus did the marketing for
+“Silver-leaf Hall,” and had evidently been promoted to the position of
+housekeeper.
+
+The Major moved in April. It was now the third week in June and
+his popularity was, if possible, more pronounced than ever. On this
+particular, the evening of Captain Bailey Stitt's unexpected arrival,
+Obed had been sitting by the tea table in his dining room after supper,
+going over the account books of his paint, paper, and oil store. His
+sister, Mrs. Polena Ginn, was washing dishes in the kitchen.
+
+“Wat's that letter you're readin', Obed?” she called from her post by
+the sink.
+
+“Nothin',” said her brother, gruffly, crumpling up the sheet of note
+paper and jamming it into his pocket.
+
+“My sakes! you're shorter'n pie crust to-night. What's the matter?
+Anything gone wrong at the store?”
+
+“No.”
+
+Silence again, only broken by the clatter of dishes. Then Polena said:
+
+“Obed, when are you goin' to take me up to the clubroom so's I can see
+that picture of Major Hardee that he presented the club with? Everybody
+says it's just lovely. Sarah T. says it's perfectly elegant, only not
+quite so handsome as the Major reelly is. She says it don't flatter him
+none.”
+
+“Humph! Anybody'd think Hardee was some kind of a wonder, the way you
+women folks go on 'bout him. How do you know but what he might be a
+reg'lar fraud? Looks ain't everything.”
+
+“Well, I never! Obed Gott, I should think you'd be 'shamed of yourself,
+talkin' that way. I shan't speak another word to you to-night. I never
+see you act so unlikely. An old fraud! The idea! That grand, noble man!”
+
+Obed tried to make some sort of half-hearted apology, but his sister
+wouldn't listen to it. Polena's dignity was touched. She was a woman of
+consequence in East Harniss, was Polena. Her husband had, at his death,
+left her ten thousand dollars in her own right, and she owned bonds
+and had money in the Wellmouth Bank. Nobody, not even her brother, was
+allowed to talk to her in that fashion.
+
+To tell the truth, Obed was sorry he had offended his sister. He had
+been throwing out hints of late as to the necessity of building an
+addition to the paint and oil store, and had cast a longing look upon
+a portion of Polena's ten thousand. The lady had not promised to extend
+the financial aid, but she had gone so far as to say she would think
+about it. So Obed regretted his insinuations against the Major's
+integrity.
+
+After a while he threw the account books upon the top of the chest of
+drawers, put on his hat and coat and announced that he was going over
+to the depot for a “spell.” Polena did not deign to reply, so, after
+repeating the observation, he went out and slammed the door.
+
+Now, two hours later, as he stood in the doorway of the club, he was
+debating what he should do in a certain matter. That matter concerned
+Major Hardee and was, therefore, an extremely delicate one. At length
+Mr. Gott climbed the narrow stairs and entered the clubroom. It was blue
+with tobacco smoke.
+
+The six or eight members present hailed him absently and went on with
+their games of checkers or “seven-up.” He attempted a game of checkers
+and lost, which did not tend to make his temper any sweeter. His ill
+nature was so apparent that Beriah Higgins, who suffered from dyspepsia
+and consequent ill temper, finally commented upon it.
+
+“What's the matter with you, Obed?” he asked tartly. “Too much of
+P'lena's mince pie?”
+
+“No,” grunted Mr. Gott shortly.
+
+“What is it, then? Ain't paint sellin' well?”
+
+“Sellin' well 'nough. I could sell a hundred ton of paint to-morrow,
+more'n likely, but when it come to gittin' the money for it, that would
+be another story. If folks would pay their bills there wouldn't be no
+trouble.”
+
+“Who's stuck you now?”
+
+“I don't s'pose anybody has, but it's just as bad when they don't
+pay up. I've got to have money to keep a-goin' with. It don't make
+no diff'rence if it's as good a customer as Major Hardee; he ought to
+remember that we ain't all rich like him and--”
+
+A general movement among all the club members interrupted him. The
+checker players left their boards and came over; the “seven-up” devotees
+dropped their cards and joined the circle.
+
+“What was that you said?” asked Higgins, uneasily. “The Major owin' you
+money, was it?”
+
+“Oh, course I know he's all right and a fine man and all that,”
+ protested Obed, feeling himself put on the defensive. “But that ain't
+it. What's a feller goin' to do when he needs the money and gets a
+letter like that?”
+
+He drew the crumpled sheet of note paper from his pocket, and threw it
+on the table. Higgins picked it up and read it aloud, as follows:
+
+
+SILVERLEAF HALL, June 20th.
+
+MY DEAR MR. GOTT: I am in receipt of your courteous communication of
+recent date. I make it an unvarying rule to keep little ready money here
+in East Harniss, preferring rather to let it remain at interest in the
+financial institutions of the cities. Another rule of mine, peculiar,
+I dare say--even eccentric, if you like--is never to pay by check. I am
+expecting remittances from my attorneys, however, and will then bear you
+in mind. Again thanking you for your courtesy, and begging you to extend
+to your sister my kindest regards, I remain, my dear sir,
+
+Yours very respectfully,
+
+CUTHBERTSON SCOTT HARDEE.
+
+P. S.--I shall be delighted to have the pleasure of entertaining your
+sister and yourself at dinner at the hall on any date agreeable to you.
+Kindly let me hear from you regarding this at your earliest convenience.
+I must insist upon this privilege, so do not disappoint me, I beg.
+
+
+The reception accorded this most gentlemanly epistle was peculiar. Mr.
+Higgins laid it upon the table and put his hand into his own pocket. So
+did Ezra Weeks, the butcher; Caleb Small, the dry goods dealer; “Hen”
+ Leadbetter, the livery stable keeper; “Bash” Taylor, the milkman, and
+three or four others. And, wonder of wonders, each produced a sheet of
+note paper exactly like Obed's.
+
+They spread them out on the table. The dates were, of course, different,
+and they differed in other minor particulars, but in the main they were
+exactly alike. And each one of them ended with an invitation to dinner.
+
+The members of the club looked at each other in amazement. Higgins was
+the first to speak.
+
+“Godfrey mighty!” he exclaimed. “Say, this is funny, ain't it? It's
+more'n funny; it's queer! By jimmy, it's more'n that--it's serious! Look
+here, fellers; is there anybody in this crowd that the Major's paid for
+anything any time?”
+
+They waited. No one spoke. Then, with one impulse, every face swung
+about and looked up to where, upon the wall, hung the life-size
+photograph of the Major, dignified, gracious, and gilt-framed. It
+had been presented to the club two months before by Cuthbertson Scott
+Hardee, himself.
+
+“Ike--Ike Peters,” said Higgins. “Say, Ike--has he ever paid you for
+havin' that took?”
+
+Mr. Peters, who was the town photographer, reddened, hesitated, and then
+stammered, “Why, no, he ain't, yet.”
+
+“Humph!” grunted Higgins. No one else said anything. One or two took
+out pocket memorandum books and went over some figures entered therein.
+Judging by their faces the results of these calculations were not
+pleasing. Obed was the first to break the painful silence:
+
+“Well!” he exclaimed, sarcastically; “ain't nobody got nothin' to say?
+If they ain't, I have. Or, at any rate, I've got somethin' to do.” And
+he rose and started to put on his coat.
+
+“Hi! hold on a minute, Obed, you loon!” cried Higgins. “Where are you
+goin'?”
+
+“I'm goin' to put my bill in Squire Baker's hands for c'lection, and I'm
+goin' to do it tonight, too.”
+
+He was on his way to the door, but two or three ran to stop him.
+
+“Don't be a fool, Obed,” said Higgins. “Don't go off ha'f cocked. Maybe
+we're gittin' scared about nothin'. We don't know but we'll get every
+cent that's owed us.”
+
+“Don't KNOW! Well, I ain't goin' to wait to find out. What makes me
+b'ilin' is to think how we've set still and let a man that we never saw
+afore last March, and don't know one blessed thing about, run up bills
+and RUN 'em up. How we come to be such everlastin' fools I don't see!
+What did we let him have the stuff for? Why didn't we make him pay? I--”
+
+“Now see here, Obed Gott,” broke in Weeks, the butcher, “you know why
+just as well as we do. Why, blast it!” he added earnestly, “if he was to
+come into my shop to-morrow and tip that old high hat of his, and smile
+and say 'twas a fine mornin and 'How's the good lady to-day?' and all
+that, he'd get ha'f the meat there was in the place, and I wouldn't say
+'Boo'! I jest couldn't, that's all.”
+
+This frank statement was received with approving nods and a chorus of
+muttered “That's so's.”
+
+“It looks to me this way,” declared Higgins. “If the Major's all right,
+he's a mighty good customer for all of us. If he ain't all right, we've
+got to find it out, but we're in too deep to run resks of gettin' him
+mad 'fore we know for sure. Let's think it over for a week. Inside of
+that time some of us'll hint to him, polite but firm, you understand,
+that we've got to have something on account. A week from to-night we'll
+meet in the back room of my store, talk it over and decide what to do.
+What do you say?”
+
+Everybody but Obed agreed. He declared that he had lost money enough
+and wasn't going to be a fool any longer. The others argued with him
+patiently for a while and then Leadbetter, the livery stable keeper,
+said sharply:
+
+“See here, Obe! You ain't the only one in this. How much does the Major
+owe you?”
+
+“Pretty nigh twenty dollars.”
+
+“Humph! You're lucky. He owes me over thirty, and I guess Higgins is
+worse off than any of us. Ain't that so, Beriah?”
+
+“About seventy, even money,” answered the grocer, shortly. “No use,
+Obed, we've got to hang together. Wait a week and then see. And,
+fellers,” he added, “don't tell a soul about this business, 'specially
+the women folks. There ain't a woman nor girl in this town that don't
+think Major Hardee's an A1, gold-plated saint, and twouldn't be safe to
+break the spell on a guess.”
+
+Obed reached home even more disgruntled than when he left it. He sat up
+until after twelve, thinking and smoking, and when he went to bed he had
+a brilliant idea. The next morning he wrote a letter and posted it.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V
+
+A BABY AND A ROBBERY
+
+
+The morning train for Boston, at that season of the year, reached East
+Harniss at five minutes to six, an “ungodly hour,” according to the
+irascible Mr. Ogden Williams, who, in company with some of his wealthy
+friends, the summer residents, was petitioning the railroad company for
+a change in the time-table. When Captain Sol Berry, the depot master,
+walked briskly down Main Street the morning following Mr. Gott's
+eventful evening at the club, the hands of the clock on the Methodist
+church tower indicated that the time was twenty minutes to six.
+
+Issy McKay was already at the depot, the doors of which were open.
+Captain Sol entered the waiting room and unlocked the ticket rack and
+the little safe. Issy, languidly toying with the broom on the front
+platform, paused in his pretense of sweeping and awaited permission to
+go home for breakfast. It came, in characteristic fashion.
+
+“How's the salt air affectin' your appetite, Is?” asked the Captain,
+casually.
+
+Issy, who, being intensely serious by nature, was uneasy when he
+suspected the presence of a joke, confusedly stammered that he cal'lated
+his appetite was all right.
+
+“Payin' for the Major's glass ain't kept you awake worryin', has it?”
+
+“No-o, sir. I--”
+
+“P'r'aps you thought he was the one to 'do the worryin', hey?”
+
+“I--I don't know.”
+
+“Well, what's your folks goin' to have to eat this mornin'?”
+
+Issy admitted his belief that fried clams were to be the breakfast.
+
+“So? Clams? Is, did you ever read the soap advertisement about not bein'
+a clam?”
+
+“I--I don't know's I ever did. No, sir.”
+
+“All right; I only called your attention to it as a warnin', that's all.
+When anybody eats as many clams as you do there's a fair chance of his
+turnin' into one. Now clear out, and don't stay so long at breakfast
+that you can't get back in time for dinner. Trot!”
+
+Issy trotted. The depot master seated himself by the door of the ticket
+office and fell into a reverie. It was interrupted by the entrance of
+Hiram Baker. Captain Hiram was an ex-fishing skipper, fifty-five years
+of age, who, with his wife, Sophronia, and their infant son, Hiram Joash
+Baker, lived in a small, old-fashioned house at the other end of the
+village, near the shore. Captain Hiram, having retired from the sea, got
+his living, such as it was, from his string of fish traps, or “weirs.”
+
+The depot master hailed the new arrival heartily.
+
+“Hello, there, Hiram!” he cried, rising from his chair. “Glad to see you
+once in a while. Ain't goin' to leave us, are you? Not goin' abroad for
+your health, or anything of that kind, hey?”
+
+Captain Baker laughed.
+
+“No,” he answered. “No further abroad than Hyannis. And I'll be back
+from there tonight, if the Lord's willin' and the cars don't get off the
+track. Give me a round trip ticket, will you, Sol?”
+
+The depot master retired to the office, returning with the desired
+ticket. Captain Hiram counted out the price from a confused mass of
+coppers and silver, emptied into his hand from a blackened leather
+purse, tied with a string.
+
+“How's Sophrony?” asked the depot master. “Pretty smart, I hope.”
+
+“Yup, she's smart. Has to be to keep up with the rest of the
+family--'specially the youngest.”
+
+He chuckled. His friend laughed in sympathy.
+
+“The youngest is the most important of all, I s'pose,” he observed. “How
+IS the junior partner of H. Baker and Son?”
+
+“He ain't a silent partner, I'll swear to that. Honest, Sol, I b'lieve
+my 'Dusenberry' is the cutest young one outside of a show. I said so
+only yesterday to Mr. Hilton, the minister. I did, and I meant it.”
+
+“Well, we're all gettin' ready to celebrate his birthday. Ho, ho!”
+
+This was a standard joke and was so recognized and honored. A baby born
+on the Fourth of July is sure of a national celebration of his birthday.
+And to Captain Baker and his wife, no celebration, however widespread,
+could do justice to the importance of the occasion. When, to answer the
+heart longings of the child-loving couple married many years, the baby
+came, he was accepted as a special dispensation of Providence and valued
+accordingly.
+
+“He's got a real nice voice, Hiram,” said Sophronia, gazing proudly
+at the prodigy, who, clutched gingerly in his father's big hands, was
+screaming his little red face black. “I shouldn't wonder if he grew up
+to sing in the choir.”
+
+“That's the kind of voice to make a fo'mast hand step lively!” declared
+Hiram. “You'll see this boy on the quarter deck of a clipper one of
+these days.”
+
+Naming him was a portentous proceeding and one not to be lightly gone
+about. Sophronia, who was a Methodist by descent and early confirmation,
+was of the opinion that the child should have a Bible name.
+
+The Captain respected his wife's wishes, but put in an ardent plea for
+his own name, Hiram.
+
+“There's been a Hiram Baker in our family ever since Noah h'isted
+the main-r'yal on the ark,” he declared. “I'd kinder like to keep the
+procession a-goin'.”
+
+They compromised by agreeing to make the baby's Christian name Hiram and
+to add a middle name selected at random from the Scriptures. The big,
+rickety family Bible was taken from the center table and opened with
+shaking fingers by Mrs. Baker. She read aloud the first sentence that
+met her eye: “The son of Joash.”
+
+“Joash!” sneered her husband. “You ain't goin' to cruelize him with that
+name, be you?”
+
+“Hiram Baker, do you dare to fly in the face of Scriptur'?”
+
+“All right! Have it your own way. Go to sleep now, Hiram Joash, while I
+sing 'Storm along, John,' to you.”
+
+Little Hiram Joash punched the minister's face with his fat fist when he
+was christened, to the great scandal of his mother and the ill-concealed
+delight of his father.
+
+“Can't blame the child none,” declared the Captain. “I'd punch anybody
+that christened a middle name like that onto me.”
+
+But, in spite of his name, the baby grew and prospered. He fell out of
+his crib, of course, the moment that he was able, and barked his shins
+over the big shells by the what-not in the parlor the first time that
+he essayed to creep. He teethed with more or less tribulation, and once
+upset the household by an attack of the croup.
+
+They gave up calling him by his first name, because of the Captain's
+invariably answering when the baby was wanted and not answering when he
+himself was wanted. Sophronia would have liked to call him Joash, but
+her husband wouldn't hear of it. At length the father took to calling
+him “Dusenberry,” and this nickname was adopted under protest.
+
+Captain Hiram sang the baby to sleep every night. There were three songs
+in the Captain's repertoire. The first was a chanty with a chorus of
+
+     John, storm along, storm along, John,
+     Ain't I glad my day's work's done.
+
+The second was the “Bowline Song.”
+
+     Haul on the bowline, the 'Phrony is a-rollin',
+     Haul on the bowline! the bowline HAUL!
+
+At the “haul!” the Captain's foot would come down with a thump. Almost
+the first word little Hiram Joash learned was “haul!” He used to shout
+it and kick his father vigorously in the vest.
+
+These were fair-weather songs. Captain Hiram sang them when everything
+was going smoothly. The “Bowline Song” indicated that he was feeling
+particularly jubilant. He had another that he sang when he was worried.
+It was a lugubrious ditty, with a refrain beginning:
+
+     Oh, sailor boy, sailor boy, 'neath the wild billow,
+     Thy grave is yawnin' and waitin' for thee.
+
+He sang this during the worst of the teething period, and, later, when
+the junior partner wrestled with the whooping cough. You could always
+tell the state of the baby's health by the Captain's choice of songs.
+
+Meanwhile Dusenberry grew and prospered. He learned to walk and to talk,
+after his own peculiar fashion, and, at the mature age of two years and
+six months, formally shipped as first mate aboard his father's dory. His
+duties in this responsible position were to sit in the stern, securely
+fastened by a strap, while the Captain and his two assistants rowed out
+over the bar to haul the nets of the deep water fish weir.
+
+The first mate gave the orders, “All hands on deck! 'Tand by to det ship
+under way!” There was no “sogerin'” aboard the Hiram Junior--that was
+the dory's name--while the first officer had command.
+
+Captain Hiram, always ready to talk of the wonderful baby, told the
+depot master of the youngster's latest achievement, which was to get the
+cover off the butter firkin in the pantry and cover himself with butter
+from head to heel.
+
+“Ho, ho, ho!” he roared, delightedly, “when Sophrony caught him at it,
+what do you s'pose he said? Said he was playin' he was a slice of bread
+and was spreadin' himself. Haw! haw!”
+
+Captain Sol laughed in sympathy.
+
+“But he didn't mean no harm by it,” explained the proud father. “He's
+got the tenderest little heart in the world. When he found his ma felt
+bad he bust out cryin' and said he'd scrape it all off again and when it
+come prayer time he'd tell God who did it, so He'd know 'twa'n't mother
+that wasted the nice butter. What do you think of that?”
+
+“No use talkin', Hiram,” said the depot master, “that's the kind of boy
+to have.”
+
+“You bet you! Hello! here's the train. On time, for a wonder. See you
+later, Sol. You take my advice, get married and have a boy of your own.
+Nothin' like one for solid comfort.”
+
+The train was coming and they went out to meet it. The only passenger
+to alight was Mr. Barzilla Wingate, whose arrival had been foretold
+by Bailey Stitt the previous evening. Barzilla was part owner of a
+good-sized summer hotel at Wellmouth Neck. He and the depot master were
+old friends.
+
+After the train had gone Wingate and Captain Sol entered the station
+together. The Captain had insisted that his friend come home with him to
+breakfast, instead of going to the hotel. After some persuasion Barzilla
+agreed. So they sat down to await Issy's arrival. The depot master could
+not leave the station until the “assistant” arrived.
+
+“Well, Barzilla,” asked Captain Sol, “what's the newest craze over to
+the hotel?”
+
+“The newest,” said Wingate, with a grin, “is automobiles.”
+
+“Automobiles? Why, I thought 'twas baseball.”
+
+“Baseball was last summer. We had a championship team then. Yes, sir, we
+won out, though for a spell it looked pretty dubious. But baseball's an
+old story. We've had football since, and now--”
+
+“Wait a minute! Football? Why, now I do remember. You had a football
+team there and--and wa'n't there somethin' queer, some sort of a--a
+robbery, or stealin', or swindlin' connected with it? Seems's if I'd
+heard somethin' like that.”
+
+Mr. Wingate looked his friend over, winked, and asked a question.
+
+“Sol,” he said, “you ain't forgot how to keep a secret?”
+
+The depot master smiled. “I guess not,” he said.
+
+“Well, then, I'm goin' to trust you with one. I'm goin' to tell you the
+whole business about that robbin'. It's all mixed up with football and
+millionaires and things--and it's a dead secret, the truth of it. So
+when I tell you it mustn't go no further.
+
+“You see,” he went on, “it was late into August when Peter T. was took
+down with the inspiration. Not that there was anything 'specially new
+in his bein' took. He was subject to them seizures, Peter was, and every
+time they broke out in a fresh place. The Old Home House itself was one
+of his inspirations, so was the hirin' of college waiters, the openin'
+of the two 'Annex' cottages, the South Shore Weather Bureau, and a whole
+lot more. Sometimes, as in the weather-bureau foolishness, the disease
+left him and t'other two patients--meanin' me and Cap'n Jonadab--pretty
+weak in the courage, and wasted in the pocketbook; but gen'rally they
+turned out good, and our systems and bank accounts was more healthy than
+normal. One of Peter T.'s inspirations was consider'ble like typhoid
+fever--if you did get over it, you felt better for havin' had it.
+
+“This time the attack was in the shape of a 'supplementary season.'
+'Twas Peter's idea that shuttin' up the Old Home the fust week in
+September was altogether too soon.
+
+“'What's the use of quittin',' says he, 'while there's bait left and the
+fish are bitin'? Why not keep her goin' through September and October?
+Two or three ads--MY ads--in the papers, hintin' that the ducks and wild
+geese are beginnin' to keep the boarders awake by roostin' in the
+back yard and hollerin' at night--two or three of them, and we'll have
+gunners here by the regiment. Other summer hotels do it, the Wapatomac
+House and the rest, so why not us? It hurts my conscience to see good
+money gettin' past the door 'count of the “Not at Home” sign hung on the
+knob. What d'you say, partners?' says he.
+
+“Well, we had consider'ble to say, partic'lar Cap'n Jonadab. 'Twas
+too risky and too expensive. Gunnin' was all right except for one
+thing--that is, that there wa'n't none wuth mentionin'.
+
+“'Ducks are scurser round here than Democrats in a Vermont
+town-meetin',' growled the Cap'n. 'And as for geese! How long has it
+been since you see a goose, Barzilla?'
+
+“'Land knows!' says I. 'I can remember as fur back as the fust time
+Washy Sparrow left off workin', but I can't--'
+
+“Brown told us to shut up. Did we cal'late he didn't know what he was
+talkin' about?
+
+“'I can see two geese right now,' he snaps; 'but they're so old and
+leather-headed you couldn't shoot an idea into their brains with a
+cannon. Gunnin' ain't the whole thing. My makin' a noise like a duck is
+only to get the would-be Teddy Roosevelts headed for this neck of the
+woods. After they get here, it's up to us to keep 'em. And I can think
+of as many ways to do that as the Cap'n can of savin' a quarter. Our
+baseball team's been a success, ain't it? Sure thing! Then why not a
+football team? Parker says he'll get it together, and coach and cap'n
+it, too. And Robinson and his daughter have agreed to stay till October
+fifteenth. So there's a start, anyhow.'
+
+“'Twas a start, and a pretty good one. The Robinsons had come to the Old
+Home about the fust of August, and they was our star boarders. 'G. W.
+Robinson' was the old man's name as entered on the hotel log, and his
+daughter answered to the hail of 'Grace'--that is, when she took
+a notion to answer at all. The Robinsons was what Peter T. called
+'exclusive.' They didn't mix much with the rest of the bunch, but
+kept to themselves in their rooms, partic'lar when a fresh net full of
+boarders was hauled aboard. Then they seemed to take an observation of
+every arrival afore they mingled; questioned the pedigree and statistics
+of all hands, and acted mighty suspicious.
+
+“The only thing that really stirred Papa Robinson up and got him excited
+and friendly was baseball and boat racin'. He was an old sport, that was
+plain, the only real plain thing about him; the rest was mystery. As
+for Grace, she wa'n't plain by a good sight, bein' what Brown called
+a 'peach.' She could have had every single male in tow if she'd wanted
+'em. Apparently she didn't want em, preferrin' to be lonesome and sad
+and interestin'. Yes, sir, there was a mystery about them Robinsons, and
+even Peter T. give in to that.
+
+“'If 'twas anybody else,' says he, 'I'd say the old man was a crook,
+down here hidin' from the police. But he's too rich for that, and always
+has been. He ain't any fly-by-night. I can tell the real article without
+lookin' for the “sterlin'” mark on the handle. But I'll bet all the
+cold-storage eggs in the hotel against the henyard--and that's big
+odds--that he wa'n't christened Robinson. And his face is familiar to
+me. I've seen it somewhere, either in print or in person. I wish I knew
+where.'
+
+“So if the Robinsons had agreed to stay--them and their two
+servants--that was a big help, as Brown said. And Parker would help,
+too, though we agreed there wa'n't no mystery about him. He was a big,
+broad-shouldered young feller just out of college somewheres, who had
+drifted our way the fortni't after the Robinsons came, with a reputation
+for athletics and a leanin' toward cigarettes and Miss Grace. She leaned
+a little, too, but hers wa'n't so much of a bend as his was. He was dead
+gone on her, and if she'd have decided to stay under water, he'd
+have ducked likewise. 'Twas easy enough to see why HE believed in a
+'supplementary season.'
+
+“Me and Jonadab argued it out with Peter, and finally we met halfway,
+so's to speak. We wouldn't keep the whole shebang open, but we'd shut
+up everything but one Annex cottage, and advertise that as a Gunner's
+Retreat. So we done it.
+
+“And it worked. Heavens to Betsy--yes! It worked so well that by the
+second week in September we had to open t'other Annex. The gunnin' was
+bad, but Peter's ads fetched the would-be's, and his 'excursions' and
+picnics and the football team held 'em. The football team especial.
+Parker cap'ned that, and, from the gunnin' crew and the waiters and some
+fishermen in the village, he dug up an eleven that showed symptoms of
+playin' the game. We played the Trumet High School, and beat it, thanks
+to Parker, and that tickled Pa Robinson so that he bought a two-handled
+silver soup tureen--'lovin' cup,' he called it--and agreed to give it to
+the team round about that won the most of the series. So the series was
+arranged, the Old Home House crowd and the Wapatomac House eleven and
+three high-school gangs bein' in it. And 'twas practice, practice,
+practice, from then on.
+
+“When we opened the second Annex, the question of help got serious. Most
+of our college waiters had gone back to school, and we was pretty shy
+of servants. So we put some extry advertisin' in the Cape weeklies, and
+trusted in Providence.
+
+“The evenin' followin' the ad in the weeklies, I was settin' smokin' on
+the back piazza of the shut-up main hotel, when I heard the gate click
+and somebody crunchin' along the clam-shell path. I sung out: 'Ahoy,
+there!' and the cruncher, whoever he was, come my way. Then I made out
+that he was a tall young chap, with his hands in his pockets.
+
+“'Good evenin',' says he. 'Is this Mr. Brown?'
+
+“'Thankin' you for the compliment, it ain't,' I says. 'My name's
+Wingate.'
+
+“'Oh!' says he. 'Is that so? I've heard father speak of you, Mr.
+Wingate. He is Solomon Bearse, of West Ostable. I think you know him
+slightly.'
+
+“Know him? Everybody on the Cape knows Sol Bearse; by reputation,
+anyhow. He's the richest, meanest old cranberry grower and
+coastin'-fleet owner in these parts.
+
+“'Is Sol Bearse your dad?' I asks, astonished. 'Why, then, you must be
+Gus?'
+
+“'No,' he says. 'I'm the other one--Fred.'
+
+“'Oh, the college one. The one who's goin' to be a lawyer.'
+
+“'Well, yes--and no,' says he. 'I WAS the college one, as you call it,
+but I'm not goin' to be a lawyer. Father and I have had some talk on
+that subject, and I think we've settled it. I--well, just at present,
+I'm not sure what I'm goin' to be. That's what I've come to you for. I
+saw your ad in the Item, and--I want a job.'
+
+“I was set all aback, and left with my canvas flappin', as you might
+say. Sol Bearse's boy huntin' a job in a hotel kitchen! Soon's I could
+fetch a whole breath, I wanted partic'lars. He give 'em to me.
+
+“Seems he'd been sent out to one of the colleges in the Middle West by
+his dad, who was dead set on havin' a lawyer in the family. But the more
+he studied, the less he hankered for law. What he wanted to be was a
+literature--a book-agent or a poet, or some such foolishness. Old Sol,
+havin' no more use for a poet than he had for a poor relation, was red
+hot in a minute. Was this what he'd been droppin' good money in the
+education collection box for? Was this--etcetery and so on. He'd
+be--what the church folks say he will be--if Fred don't go in for law.
+Fred, he comes back that he'll be the same if he does. So they disowned
+each other by mutual consent, as the Irishman said, and the boy marches
+out of the front door, bag and baggage. And, as the poetry market seemed
+to be sort of overly supplied at the present time, he decided he must
+do somethin' to earn a dollar, and, seein' our ad, he comes to Wellmouth
+Port and the Old Home.
+
+“'But look here,' says I, 'we ain't got no job for a literary. We need
+fellers to pass pie and wash dishes. And THAT ain't no poem.'
+
+“Well, he thought perhaps he could help make up advertisin'.
+
+“'You can't,' I told him. 'One time, when Peter T. Brown was away, me
+and Cap'n Jonadab cal'lated that a poetry advertisement would be a good
+idee and we managed to shake out ten lines or so. It begun:
+
+     “When you're feelin' tired and pale
+     To the Old Home House you ought to come without fail.”
+
+“'We thought 'twas pretty slick, but we never got but one answer, and
+that was a circular from one of them correspondence schools of authors,
+sayin' they'd let us in on a course at cut rates. And the next thing we
+knew we see that poem in the joke page of a Boston paper. I never--'
+
+“He laughed, quiet and sorrowful. He had the quietest way of speakin',
+anyhow, and his voice was a lovely tenor. To hear it purrin' out of his
+big, tall body was as unexpected as a hymn tune in a cent-in-the-slot
+talkin' machine.
+
+“'Too bad,' he says. 'As a waiter, I'm afraid--'
+
+“Just then the door of one of the Annex houses opened sudden, and there
+stood Grace Robinson. The light behind her showed her up plain as could
+be. I heard Fred Bearse make a kind of gaspin' noise in his throat.
+
+“'What a lovely night!' she says, half to herself. Then she calls:
+'Papa, dear, you really ought to see the stars.'
+
+“Old man Robinson, who I judged was in the settin' room, snarled out
+somethin' which wa'n't no compliment to the stars. Then he ordered
+her to come in afore she catched cold. She sighed and obeyed orders,
+shuttin' the door astern of her. Next thing I knew that literary tenor
+grabbed my arm--'twa'n't no canary-bird grip, neither.
+
+“'Who was that?' he whispers, eager.
+
+“I told him. 'That's the name they give,' says I, 'but we have doubts
+about its bein' the real one. You see, there's some mystery about them
+Robinsons, and--'
+
+“'I'll take that waiter's place,' he says, quick. 'Shall I go right in
+and begin now? Don't stop to argue, man; I say I'll take it.'
+
+“And he did take it by main strength, pretty nigh. Every time I'd open
+my mouth he'd shut it up, and at last I give in, and showed him where he
+could sleep.
+
+“'You turn out at five sharp,' I told him. 'And you needn't bother to
+write no poems while you're dressin', neither.'
+
+“'Good night,' he answers, brisk. 'Go, will you, please? I want to
+think.'
+
+“I went. 'Tain't until an hour later that I remembered he hadn't asked
+one word concernin' the wages. And next mornin' he comes to me and
+suggests that perhaps 'twould be as well if I didn't tell his real name.
+He was pretty sure he'd been away schoolin' so long that he wouldn't be
+recognized. 'And incognitos seem to be fashionable here,' he purrs, soft
+and gentle.
+
+“I wouldn't know an incognito if I stepped on one, but the tenor voice
+of him kind of made me sick.
+
+“'All right,' I snaps, sarcastic. 'Suppose I call you “Willie.” How'll
+that do?'
+
+“'Do as well as anything, I guess,' he says. Didn't make no odds to him.
+If I'd have called him 'Maud,' he'd have been satisfied.
+
+“He waited in Annex Number Two, which was skippered by Cap'n Jonadab.
+And, for a poet, he done pretty well, so the Cap'n said.
+
+“'But say, Barzilla,' asks Jonadab, 'does that Willie thing know the
+Robinsons?'
+
+“'Guess not,' I says. But, thinkin' of the way he'd acted when the girl
+come to the door: 'Why?'
+
+“'Oh, nothin' much. Only when he come in with the doughnuts the fust
+mornin' at breakfast, I thought Grace sort of jumped and looked funny.
+Anyhow, she didn't eat nothin' after that. P'r'aps that was on account
+of her bein' out sailin' the day afore, though.'
+
+“I said I cal'lated that was it, but all the same I was interested.
+And when, a day or so later, I see Grace and Willie talkin' together
+earnest, out back of the kitchen, I was more so. But I never said
+nothin'. I've been seafarin' long enough to know when to keep my main
+hatch closed.
+
+“The supplementary season dragged along, but it wa'n't quite the success
+it looked like at the start. The gunnin' that year was even worse than
+usual, and excursions and picnics in late September ain't all joy, by
+no manner of means. We shut up the second Annex at the end of the month,
+and transferred the help to Number One. Precious few new boarders come,
+and a good many of the old ones quit. Them that did stay, stayed on
+account of the football. We was edgin' up toward the end of the series,
+and our team and the Wapatomac crowd was neck and neck. It looked as if
+the final game between them and us, over on their grounds, would settle
+who'd have the soup tureen.
+
+“Pa Robinson and Parker had been quite interested in Willie when he
+fust come. They thought he might play with the eleven, you see. But he
+wouldn't. Set his foot right down.
+
+“'I don't care for athletics,' he says, mild but firm. 'They used to
+interest me somewhat, but not now.'
+
+“The old man was crazy. He'd heard about Willie's literature leanin's,
+and he give out that he'd never see a writer yet that wa'n't a 'sissy.'
+Wanted us to fire Bearse right off, but we kept him, thanks to me. If
+he'd seen the 'sissy' kick the ball once, same as I did, it might have
+changed his mind some. He was passin' along the end of the field when
+the gang was practicin', and the ball come his way. He caught it on the
+fly, and sent it back with his toe. It went a mile, seemed so, whirlin'
+and whizzin'. Willie never even looked to see where it went; just kept
+on his course for the kitchen.
+
+“The big sensation hit us on the fifth of October, right after supper.
+Me and Peter T. and Jonadab was in the office, when down comes Henry,
+old Robinson's man servant, white as a sheet and wringin' his hands
+distracted.
+
+“'Oh, I say, Mr. Brown!' says he, shakin' all over like a quicksand.
+'Oh, Mr. Brown, sir! Will you come right up to Mr. Sterz--I mean Mr.
+Robinson's room, please, sir! 'E wants to see you gentlemen special.
+'Urry, please! 'Urry!'
+
+“So we ''urried,' wonderin' what on earth was the matter. And when we
+got to the Robinson rooms, there was Grace, lookin' awful pale, and the
+old man himself ragin' up and down like a horse mack'rel in a fish weir.
+
+“Soon as papa sees us, he jumped up in the air, so's to speak, and when
+he lit 'twas right on our necks. His daughter, who seemed to be the
+sanest one in the lot, run and shut the door.
+
+“'Look here, you!' raved the old gent, shakin' both fists under Peter
+T.'s nose. 'Didn't you tell me this was a respectable hotel? And ain't
+we payin' for respectability?'
+
+“Peter admitted it, bein' too much set back to argue, I cal'late.
+
+“'Yes!' rages Robinson. 'We pay enough for all the respectability in
+this state. And yet, by the livin' Moses! I can't go out of my room
+to spoil my digestion with your cussed dried-apple pie, but what I'm
+robbed!'
+
+“'Robbed!' the three of us gurgles in chorus.
+
+“'Yes, sir! Robbed! Robbed! ROBBED! What do you think I came here for?
+And why do I stay here all this time? 'Cause I LIKE it? 'Cause I can't
+afford a better place? No, sir! By the great horn spoon! I come here
+because I thought in this forsaken hole I could get lost and be safe.
+And now--'
+
+“He tore around like a water spout, Grace trying to calm him, and
+Henry and Suzette, the maid, groanin' and sobbin' accompaniments in the
+corner. I looked at the dresser. There was silver-backed brushes and all
+sorts of expensive doodads spread out loose, and Miss Robinson's watch
+and a di'mond ring, and a few other knickknacks. I couldn't imagine a
+thief's leavin' all that truck, and I said so.
+
+“'Them?' sputters Pa, frantic. 'What the brimstone blazes do you think
+I care for them? I could buy that sort of stuff by the car-load, if I
+wanted to. But what's been stole is--Oh, get out and leave me alone!
+You're no good, the lot of you!'
+
+“'Father has had a valuable paper stolen from him,' explains Grace. 'A
+very valuable paper.'
+
+“'Valuable!' howls her dad. 'VALUABLE! Why, if Gordon and his gang get
+that paper, they've got ME, that's all. Their suit's as good as won, and
+I know it. And to think that I've kept it safe up to within a month
+of the trial, and now--Grace Sterzer, you stop pattin' my head. I'm no
+pussy-cat! By the--' And so on, indefinite.
+
+“When he called his daughter Sterzer, instead of Robinson, I cal'lated
+he was loony, sure enough. But Peter T. slapped his leg.
+
+“'Oh!' he says, as if he'd seen a light all to once. 'Ah, NOW I begin
+to get wise. I knew your face was--See here, Mr. Sterzer--Mr. Gabriel
+Sterzer--don't you think we'd better have a real, plain talk on this
+matter? Let's get down to tacks. Was the paper you lost something to do
+with the Sterzer-Gordon lawsuit? The Aluminum Trust case, you know?'
+
+“The old man stopped dancin', stared at him hard, and then set down and
+wiped his forehead.
+
+“'Something to DO with it?' he groans. 'Why, you idiot, it was IT!
+If Gordon's lawyers get that paper--and they've been after it for a
+year--then the fat's all in the fire. There's nothin' left for me to do
+but compromise.'
+
+“When Peter T. mentioned the name of Gabriel Sterzer, me and Jonadab
+begun to see a light, too. 'Course you remember the bust-up of the
+Aluminum Trust--everybody does. The papers was full of it. There'd
+been a row among the two leadin' stockholders, Gabe Sterzer and 'Major'
+Gordon. Them two double-back-action millionaires practically owned the
+trust, and the state 'twas in, and the politics of that state, and all
+the politicians. Each of 'em run three or four banks of their own, and
+a couple of newspapers, and other things, till you couldn't rest. Then
+they had the row, and Gabe had took his playthings and gone home, as
+you might say. Among the playthings was a majority of the stock, and the
+Major had sued for it. The suit, with pictures of the leadin'
+characters and the lawyers and all, had been spread-eagled in the papers
+everywheres. No wonder 'Robinson's' face was familiar.
+
+“But it seemed that Sterzer had held the trump card in the shape of the
+original agreement between him and Gordon. And he hung on to it like
+the Old Scratch to a fiddler. Gordon and his crowd had done everything,
+short of murder, to get it; hired folks to steal it, and so on, because,
+once they DID get it, Gabe hadn't a leg to stand on--he'd have to divide
+equal, which wa'n't his desires, by a good sight. The Sterzer lawyers
+had wanted him to leave it in their charge, but no--he knew too much for
+that. The pig-headed old fool had carted it with him wherever he went,
+and him and his daughter had come to the Old Home House because he
+figgered nobody would think of their bein' in such an out-of-the-way
+place as that. But they HAD thought of it. Anyhow, the paper was gone.
+
+“'But Mr. Robinzer--Sterson, I mean--' cut in Cap'n Jonadab, 'you could
+have 'em took up for stealin', couldn't you? They wouldn't dare--'
+
+“''Course they'd dare! S'pose they don't know I wouldn't have that
+agreement get in the papers? Dare! They'd dare anything. If they get
+away with it, by hook or crook, all I can do is haul in my horns and
+compromise. If they've got that paper, the suit never comes to trial.'
+
+“'Well, they ain't got it yet,' says Peter, decided. 'Whoever stole the
+thing is right here in this boardin'-house, and it's up to us to see
+that they stay here. Barzilla, you take care of the mail. No letters
+must go out to-night. Jonadab, you set up and watch all hands, help and
+all. Nobody must leave this place, if we have to tie em. And I'll keep a
+gen'ral overseein' of the whole thing, till we get a detective. And--if
+you'll stand the waybill, Mr. Sterzer--we'll have the best Pinkerton in
+Boston down here in three hours by special train. By the way, are you
+sure the thing IS lifted? Where was it?'
+
+“Old Gabe kind of colored up, and give in that 'twas under his pillow.
+He always kept it there after the beds was made.
+
+“'Humph!' grunts Brown. 'Why didn't you hang it on the door-knob? Under
+the pillow! If I was a sneak thief, the first place I'd look would be
+under the pillow; after that I'd tackle the jewelry box and the safe.'
+
+“There was consider'ble more talk. Seems the Sterzers had left Henry on
+guard, same as they always done, when they went to supper. They could
+trust him and Suzette absolute, they said. But Henry had gone down
+the hall after a drink of water, and when he had got back everything
+apparently was all right. 'Twa'n't till Gabe himself come up that he
+found the paper gone. I judged he'd made it interestin' for Henry; the
+poor critter looked that way.
+
+“All hands agreed to keep mum for the present and to watch. Peter
+hustled to the office and called up the Pinkertons over the long
+distance.”
+
+Mr. Wingate paused. Captain Sol was impatient.
+
+“Go on,” he said. “Don't stop now, I'm gettin' anxious.”
+
+Barzilla rose to his feet. “Here's your McKay man back again,” he said.
+“Let's go up to your house and have breakfast. We can talk while we're
+eatin'. I'm empty as a poorhouse boarder's pocketbook.”
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VI
+
+AVIATION AND AVARICE
+
+
+Breakfast at Capt. Sol Berry's was a bountiful meal. The depot master
+employed a middle-aged woman who came in each day, cooked his meals and
+did the housework, returning to her own home at night. After Mr. Wingate
+had mowed a clean swath through ham and eggs, cornbread and coffee,
+and had reached the cooky and doughnut stage, he condescended to speak
+further concerning the stolen paper.
+
+“Well,” he said, “Brown give me and Jonadab a serious talkin' to when he
+got us alone.”
+
+“'Now, fellers,' he says, 'we know what we've got to do. Nothin'll be
+too good for this shebang and us if we get that agreement back. Fust
+place, the thing was done a few minutes after the supper-bell rung.
+That is, unless that 'Enry is in on the deal, which ain't unlikely,
+considerin' the price he could get from the Gordon gang. Was anybody
+late at the tables?'
+
+“Why, yes; there were quite a few late. Two of the 'gunners,' who'd been
+on a forlorn-hope duck hunt; and a minister and his wife, out walkin'
+for their health; and Parker and two fellers from the football team,
+who'd been practicin'.
+
+“'Any of the waiters or the chambermaids?' asked Peter.
+
+“I'd been expectin' he'd ask that, and I hated to answer.
+
+“'One of the waiters was a little late,' says I. 'Willie wa'n't on hand
+immediate. Said he went to wash his hands.'
+
+“Now the help gen'rally washed in the fo'castle--the servants'
+quarters, I mean--but there was a wash room on the floor where the
+Sterzer-Robinsons roomed. Peter looked at Jonadab, and the two of 'em at
+me. And I had to own up that Willie had come downstairs from that wash
+room a few minutes after the bell rung.
+
+“'Hum!' says Peter T. 'Hum!' he says. 'Look here, Barzilla, didn't you
+tell me you knew that feller's real name, and that he had been studying
+law?'
+
+“'No,' says I, emphatic. 'I said 'twas law he was tryin' to get away
+from. His tastes run large to literation and poetry.'
+
+“'Hum!' says Peter again. 'All papers are more or less literary--even
+trust agreements. Hum!'
+
+“'All the same,' says I, 'I'll bet my Sunday beaver that HE never took
+it.'
+
+“They didn't answer, but looked solemn. Then the three of us went on
+watch.
+
+“Nobody made a move to go out that evenin'. I kept whatever mail was
+handed in, but there was nothin' that looked like any agreements,
+and nothin' addressed to Gordon or his lawyers. At twelve or so, the
+detective come. Peter drove up to the depot to meet the special. He told
+the whole yarn on the way down.
+
+“The detective was a nice enough chap, and we agreed he should be 'Mr.
+Snow,' of New York, gunnin' for health and ducks. He said the watch must
+be kept up all night, and in the mornin' he'd make his fust move. So
+said, so done.
+
+“And afore breakfast that next mornin' we called everybody into the
+dinin' room, boarders, help, stable hands, every last one. And Peter
+made a little speech. He said that a very valuable paper had been taken
+out of Mr. Robinson's room, and 'twas plain that it must be on the
+premises somewhere. 'Course, nobody was suspicioned, but, speakin'
+for himself, he'd feel better if his clothes and his room was searched
+through. How'd the rest feel about it?
+
+“Well, they felt diff'rent ways, but Parker spoke up like a brick, and
+said he wouldn't rest easy till HIS belongin's was pawed over, and then
+the rest fell in line. We went through everybody and every room on the
+place. Found nothin', of course. Snow--the detective--said he didn't
+expect to. But I tell you there was some talkin' goin' on, just the
+same. The minister, he hinted that he had some doubts about them
+dissipated gunners; and the gunners cal'lated they never see a parson
+yet wouldn't bear watchin'. As for me, I felt like a pickpocket, and,
+judgin' from Jonadab's face, he felt the same.
+
+“The detective man swooped around quiet, bobbin' up in unexpected
+places, like a porpoise, and askin' questions once in a while. He asked
+about most everybody, but about Willie, especial. I judged Peter T. had
+dropped a hint to him and to Gabe. Anyhow, the old critter give out
+that he wouldn't trust a poet with the silver handles on his grandmarm's
+coffin. As for Grace, she acted dreadful nervous and worried. Once I
+caught her swabbin' her eyes, as if she'd been cryin'; but I'd never
+seen her and Willie together but the one time I told you of.
+
+“Four days and nights crawled by. No symptoms yet. The Pinkertons was
+watchin' the Gordon lawyers' office in New York, and they reported
+that nothin' like that agreement had reached there. And our own
+man--Snow--said he'd go bail it hadn't been smuggled off the premises
+sense HE struck port. So 'twas safe so far; but where was it, and who
+had it?
+
+“The final football game, the one with Wapatomac, was to be played over
+on their grounds on the afternoon of the fifth day. Parker, cap'n of the
+eleven, give out that, considerin' everything, he didn't know but we'd
+better call it off. Old Robinson--Sterzer, of course--wouldn't hear of
+it.
+
+“'Not much,' says he. 'I wouldn't chance your losin' that game for forty
+papers. You sail in and lick 'em!' or words to that effect.
+
+“So the eleven was to cruise across the bay in the Greased Lightnin',
+Peter's little motor launch, and the rooters was to go by train later
+on. 'Twas Parker's idee, goin' in the launch. 'Twould be more quiet,
+less strain on the nerves of his men, and they could talk over plays and
+signals on the v'yage.
+
+“So at nine o'clock in the forenoon they was ready, the whole
+team--three waiters, two fishermen, one carpenter from up to Wellmouth
+Center, a stable hand, and Parker and three reg'lar boarders. These last
+three was friends of Parker's that he'd had come down some time afore.
+He knew they could play football, he said, and they'd come to oblige
+him.
+
+“The eleven gathered on the front porch, all in togs and sweaters,
+principally provided and paid for by Sterzer. Cap'n Parker had the ball
+under his arm, and the launch was waitin' ready at the landin'. All the
+boarders--except Grace, who was upstairs in her room--and most of the
+help was standin' round to say good luck and good-by.
+
+“Snow, the detective, was there, and I whispered in his ear.
+
+“'Say,' I says, 'do you realize that for the fust time since the robbery
+here's a lot of folks leavin' the house? How do you know but what--'
+
+“He winked and nodded brisk. 'I'll attend to that,' he says.
+
+“But he didn't have to. Parker spoke fust, and took the wind out of his
+sails.
+
+“'Gentlemen,' says he, 'I don't know how the rest of you feel, but, as
+for me, I don't start without clear skirts. I suggest that Mr. Brown and
+Mr. Wingate here search each one of us, thoroughly. Who knows,' says he,
+laughin', 'but what I've got that precious stolen paper tucked inside my
+sweater? Ha! ha! Come on, fellers! I'll be first.'
+
+“He tossed the ball into a chair and marched into the office, the
+rest of the players after him, takin' it as a big joke. And there the
+searchin' was done, and done thorough, 'cause Peter asked Mr. Snow to
+help, and he knew how. One thing was sure; Pa Gabe's agreement wa'n't
+hid about the persons of that football team. Everybody laughed--that is,
+all but the old man and the detective. Seemed to me that Snow was kind
+of disappointed, and I couldn't see why. 'Twa'n't likely any of THEM was
+thieves.
+
+“Cap'n Parker picked up his football and started off for the launch.
+He'd got about ha'fway to the shore when Willie--who'd been stand-in'
+with the rest of the help, lookin' on--stepped for'ard pretty brisk and
+whispered in the ear of the Pinkerton man. The detective jumped, sort
+of, and looked surprised and mighty interested.
+
+“'By George!' says he. 'I never thought of that.' Then he run to the
+edge of the piazza and called.
+
+“'Mr. Parker!' he sings out. 'Oh, Mr. Parker!'
+
+“Parker was at the top of the little rise that slopes away down to the
+landin'. The rest of the eleven was scattered from the shore to the
+hotel steps. He turns, without stoppin', and answers.
+
+“'What is it?' he sings out, kind of impatient.
+
+“'There's just one thing we forgot to look at,' shouts Snow. 'Merely a
+matter of form, but just bring that--Hey! Stop him! Stop him!'
+
+“For Parker, instead of comin' back, had turned and was leggin' it for
+the launch as fast as he could, and that was some.
+
+“'Stop!' roars the Pinkerton man, jumpin' down the steps. 'Stop, or--'
+
+“'Hold him, Jim!' screeched Parker, over his shoulder. One of the
+biggest men on the eleven--one of the three 'friends' who'd been so
+obligin' as to come down on purpose to play football--made a dive,
+caught the detective around the waist, and threw him flat.
+
+“'Go on, Ed!' he shouts. 'I've got him, all right.'
+
+“Ed--meanin' Parker--was goin' on, and goin' fast. All hands seemed
+to be frozen stiff, me and Jonadab and Peter T. included. As for me, I
+couldn't make head nor tail of the doin's; things was comin' too quick
+for MY understandin'.
+
+“But there was one on that piazza who wa'n't froze. Fur from it! Willie,
+the poet waiter, made a jump, swung his long legs over the porch-rail,
+hit the ground, and took after that Parker man like a cat after a field
+mouse.
+
+“Run! I never see such runnin'! He fairly flashed across that lawn and
+over the rise. Parker was almost to the landin'; two more jumps and he'd
+been aboard the launch. If he'd once got aboard, a turn of the switch
+and that electric craft would have had him out of danger in a shake. But
+them two jumps was two too many. Willie riz off the ground like a flyin'
+machine, turned his feet up and his head down, and lapped his arms
+around Parker's knees. Down the pair of 'em went 'Ker-wallop!' and the
+football flew out of Parker's arms.
+
+“In an eyewink that poet was up, grabs the ball, and comes tearin' back
+toward us.
+
+“'Stop him!' shrieks Parker from astern.
+
+“'Head him off! Tackle him!' bellers the big chap who was hangin' onto
+the detective.
+
+“They tell me that discipline and obeyin' orders is as much in football
+as 'tis aboard ship. If that's so, every one of the Old Home House
+eleven was onto their jobs. There was five men between Willie and the
+hotel, and they all bore down on him like bats on a June bug.
+
+“'Get him!' howls Parker, racin' to help.
+
+“'Down him!' chimes in big Jim, his knee in poor Snow's back.
+
+“'Run, Bearse! Run!' whoops the Pinkerton man, liftin' his mouth out of
+the sand.
+
+“He run--don't you worry about that! Likewise he dodged. One chap
+swooped at him, and he ducked under his arms. Another made a dive, and
+he jumped over him. The third one he pushed one side with his hand.
+'Pushed!' did I say? 'Knocked' would be better, for the feller--the
+carpenter 'twas--went over and over like a barrel rollin' down hill. But
+there was two more left, and one of 'em was bound to have him.
+
+“Then a window upstairs banged open.
+
+“'Oh, Mr. Bearse!' screamed a voice--Grace Sterzer's voice. 'Don't let
+them get you!'
+
+“We all heard her, in spite of the shoutin' and racket. Willie heard
+her, too. The two fellers, one at each side, was almost on him, when
+he stopped, looked up, jumped back, and, as cool as a rain barrel in
+January, he dropped that ball and kicked it.
+
+“I can see that picture now, like a tableau at a church sociable. The
+fellers that was runnin', the others on the ground, and that literary
+pie passer with his foot swung up to his chin.
+
+“And the ball! It sailed up and up in a long curve, began to drop,
+passed over the piazza roof, and out of sight.
+
+“'Lock your door, Miss Sterzer,' sung out Fred Bearse--'Willie' for
+short. 'Lock your door and keep that ball. I think your father's paper
+is inside it.'
+
+“As sure as my name is Barzilla Wingate, he had kicked that football
+straight through the open window into old Gabe's room.”
+
+The depot master whooped and slapped his knee. Mr. Wingate grinned
+delightedly and continued:
+
+“There!” he went on, “the cat's out of the bag, and there ain't much
+more to tell. Everybody made a bolt for the room, old Gabe and Peter
+T. in the lead. Grace let her dad in, and the ball was ripped open in a
+hurry. Sure enough! Inside, between the leather and the rubber, was
+the missin' agreement. Among the jubilations and praise services nobody
+thought of much else until Snow, the Pinkerton man, come upstairs, his
+clothes tore and his eyes and nose full of sand.
+
+“'Humph!' says he. 'You've got it, hey? Good! Well, you haven't got
+friend Parker. Look!'
+
+“Such of us as could looked out of the window. There was the launch,
+with Parker and his three 'friends' in it, headin' two-forty for blue
+water.
+
+“'Let 'em go,' says old Gabe, contented. 'I wouldn't arrest 'em if I
+could. This is no police-station job.'
+
+“It come out afterwards that Parker was a young chap just from law
+school, who had gone to work for the firm of shysters who was attendin'
+to the Gordon interests. They had tracked Sterzer to the Old Home House,
+and had put their new hand on the job of gettin' that agreement. Fust
+he'd tried to shine up to Grace, but the shine--her part of it--had wore
+off. Then he decided to steal it; and he done it, just how nobody knows.
+Snow, the detective, says he cal'lates Henry, the servant, is wiser'n
+most folks thinks, fur's that's concerned.
+
+“Snow had found out about Parker inside of two days. Soon's he got the
+report as to who he was, he was morally sartin that he was the thief.
+He'd looked up Willie's record, too, and that was clear. In fact, Willie
+helped him consider'ble. 'Twas him that recognized Parker, havin' seen
+him play on a law-school team. Also 'twas Willie who thought of the
+paper bein' in the football.
+
+“Land of love! What a hero they made of that waiter!
+
+“'By the livin' Moses!' bubbles old Gabe, shakin' both the boy's hands.
+'That was the finest run and tackle and the finest kick I ever saw
+anywhere. I've seen every big game for ten years, and I never saw
+anything half so good.'
+
+“The Pinkerton man laughed. 'There's only one chap on earth who can kick
+like that. Here he is,' layin' his hand on 'Willie's' shoulder. Bearse,
+the All-American half-back last year.'
+
+“Gabe's mouth fell open. 'Not “Bung” Bearse, of Yarvard!' he sings out.
+'Why! WHY!'
+
+“'Of course, father!' purrs his daughter, smilin' and happy. 'I knew
+him at once. He and I were--er--slightly acquainted when I was at
+Highcliffe.'
+
+“'But--but “Bung” Bearse!' gasps the old gent. 'Why, you rascal! I saw
+you kick the goal that beat Haleton. Your reputation is worldwide.'
+
+“Willie--Fred Bearse, that is--shook his head, sad and regretful.
+
+“'Thank you, Mr. Sterzer,' says he, in his gentle tenor. 'I have no
+desire to be famous in athletics. My aspirations now are entirely
+literary.'
+
+“Well, he's got his literary job at last, bein' engaged as sportin'
+editor on one of Gabe's papers. His dad, old Sol Bearse, seems to be
+pretty well satisfied, partic'lar as another engagement between the
+Bearse family and the Sterzers has just been given out.”
+
+Barzilla helped himself to another doughnut. His host leaned back in his
+chair and laughed uproariously.
+
+“Well, by the great and mighty!” he exclaimed, “that Willie chap
+certainly did fool you, didn't he. You can't always tell about these
+college critters. Sometimes they break out unexpected, like chickenpox
+in the 'Old Men's Home.' Ha! ha! Say, do you know Nate Scudder?”
+
+“Know him? Course I know him! The meanest man on the Cape, and livin'
+right in my own town, too! Well, if I didn't know him I might trust him,
+and that would be the beginnin' of the end--for me.”
+
+“It sartin would. But what made me think of him was what he told
+me about his nephew, who was a college chap, consider'ble like your
+'Willie,' I jedge. Nate and this nephew, Augustus Tolliver, was mixed up
+in that flyin'-machine business, you remember.”
+
+“I know they was. Mixed up with that Professor Dixland the papers are
+makin' such a fuss over. Wellmouth's been crazy over it all, but it
+happened a year ago and nobody that I know of has got the straight
+inside facts about it yet. Nate won't talk at all. Whenever you ask him
+he busts out swearin' and walks off. His wife's got such a temper that
+nobody dared ask her, except the minister. He tried it, and ain't been
+the same man since.”
+
+“Well,” the depot master smilingly scratched his chin, “I cal'late I've
+got those inside facts.”
+
+“You HAVE?”
+
+“Yes. Nate gave 'em to me, under protest. You see, I know Nate pretty
+well. I know some things about him that . . . but never mind that part.
+I asked him and, at last, he told me. I'll have to tell you in his
+words, 'cause half the fun was the way he told it and the way he looked
+at the whole business. So you can imagine I'm Nate, and--”
+
+“'Twill be a big strain on my imagination to b'lieve you're Nate
+Scudder, Sol Berry.”
+
+“Thanks. However, you'll have to do it for a spell. Well, Nate said that
+it really begun when the Professor and Olivia landed at the Wellmouth
+depot with the freight car full of junk. Of course, the actual
+beginnin' was further back than that, when that Harmon man come on from
+Philadelphy and hunted him up, makin' proclamation that a friend of
+his, a Mr. Van Brunt of New York, had said that Scudder had a nice quiet
+island to let and maybe he could hire it.
+
+“Course Nate had an island--that little sun-dried sandbank a mile or
+so off shore, abreast his house, which we used to call 'Horsefoot Bar.'
+That crazy Van Brunt and his chum, Hartley, who lived there along
+with Sol Pratt a year or so ago, re-christened it 'Ozone Island,' you
+remember. Nate was willin' to let it. He'd let Tophet, if he owned it,
+and a fool come along who wanted to hire it and could pay for the rent
+and heat.
+
+“So Nate and this Harmon feller rowed over to the Bar--to Ozone Island,
+I mean--and the desolation and loneliness of it seemed to suit him to
+perfection. So did the old house and big barn and all the tumbledown
+buildin's stuck there in the beach-grass and sand. Afore they'd left
+they made a dicker. He wa'n't the principal in it. He was the private
+secretary and fust mate of Mr. Professor Ansel Hobart Dixland, the
+scientist--perhaps Scudder'd heard of him?
+
+“Perhaps he had, but if so, Nate forgot it, though he didn't tell him
+that. Harmon ordered a fifteen-foot-high board fence built all around
+the house and barn, and made Nate swear not to tell a soul who was
+comin' nor anything. Dixland might want the island two months, he said,
+or he might want it two years. Nate didn't care. He was in for good
+pickin's, and begun to pick by slicin' a liberal commission off that
+fencebuildin' job. There was a whole passel of letters back and forth
+between Nate and Harmon, and finally Nate got word to meet the victims
+at the depot.
+
+“There was the professor himself, an old dried-up relic with whiskers
+and a temper; and there was Miss Olivia Dixland, his niece and
+housekeeper, a slim, plain lookin' girl, who wore eyeglasses and a
+straight up and down dress. And there was a freight car full of crates
+and boxes and land knows what all. But nary sign was there of a private
+secretary and assistant. The professor told Nate that Mr. Harmon's
+health had suddenly broke down and he'd had to be sent South.
+
+“'It's a calamity,' says he; 'a real calamity! Harmon has been with
+me in my work from the beginnin'; and now, just as it is approachin'
+completion, he is taken away. They say he may die. It is very annoyin'.'
+
+“'Humph!' says Nate. 'Well, maybe it annoys HIM some, too; you can't
+tell. What you goin' to do for a secretary?'
+
+“'I understand,' says the professor, 'that there is a person of
+consider'ble scientific attainment residin' with you, Mr. Scudder, at
+present. Harmon met him while he was here; they were in the same class
+at college. Harmon recommended him highly. Olivia,' he says to the
+niece, 'what was the name of the young man whom Harmon recommended?'
+
+“'Tolliver, Uncle Ansel,' answers the girl, lookin' kind of disdainful
+at Nate. Somehow he had the notion that she didn't take to him fust
+rate.
+
+“'Hey?' sings out Nate. 'Tolliver? Why, that's Augustus! AUGUSTUS! well,
+I'll be switched!'
+
+“Augustus Tolliver was Nate's nephew from up Boston way. Him and Nate
+was livin' together at that time. Huldy Ann, Mrs. Scudder, was out West,
+in Omaha, takin' care of a cousin of hers who was a chronic invalid and,
+what's more to the purpose, owned a lot of stock in copper mines.
+
+“Augustus was a freckle-faced, spindle-shanked little critter, with
+spectacles and a soft, polite way of speakin' that made you want to
+build a fire under him to see if he could swear like a Christian. He
+had a big head with consider'ble hair on the top of it and nothin'
+underneath but what he called 'science' and 'sociology.' His science
+wa'n't nothin' but tommy-rot to Nate, and the 'sociology' was some kind
+of drivel about everybody bein' equal to everybody else, or better.
+'Seemed to think 'twas wrong to get a good price for a thing when you
+found a feller soft enough to pay it. Did you ever hear the beat of that
+in your life?' says Nate.
+
+“However, Augustus had soaked so much science and sociology into that
+weak noddle of his that they kind of made him drunk, as you might say,
+and the doctor had sent him down to board with the Scudders and sleep it
+off. 'Nervous prostration' was the way he had his symptoms labeled, and
+the nerve part was all right, for if a hen flew at him he'd holler and
+run. Scart! you never see such a scart cat in your born days. Scart of a
+boat, scart of being seasick, scart of a gun, scart of everything! Most
+special he was scart of Uncle Nate. The said uncle kept him that way
+so's he wouldn't dast to kick at the grub him and Huldy Ann give him, I
+guess.
+
+“'Augustus Tolliver,' says old Dixland, noddin'. 'Yes, that is the name.
+Has he had a sound scientific trainin'?'
+
+“'Scientific trainin'!' says Nate. 'Scientific trainin'? Why, you bet
+he's had it! That's the only kind of trainin' he HAS had. He'll be just
+the feller for you, Mr. Dixland.'
+
+“So that was settled, all but notifyin' Augustus. But Scudder sighted
+another speculation in the offin', and hove alongside of it.
+
+“'Mr. Harmon, when he was here,' says he, 'he mentioned you needin'
+a nice, dependable man to live on the island and be sort of general
+roustabout. My wife bein' away just now, and all, it struck me that I
+might as well be that man. Maybe my terms'll seem a little high, at fust
+mention, but--'
+
+“'Very good,' says the professor, 'very good. I'm sure you'll be
+satisfactory. Now please see to the unloading of that car. And be
+careful, VERY careful.'
+
+“Nate broke the news to Augustus that afternoon. He had his nose stuck
+in a book, as usual, and never heard, so Nate yelled at him like a mate
+on a tramp steamer, just to keep in trainin'.
+
+“'Who? Who? Who? What? What?' squeals Augustus, jumpin' out of the
+chair as if there was pins in it. 'What is it? Who did it? Oh, my poor
+nerves!'
+
+“'Drat your poor nerves!' Nate says. 'I've got a good promisin' job for
+you. Listen to this.'
+
+“Then he told about the professor's wantin' Gus to be assistant and help
+do what the old man called 'experiments.'
+
+“'Dixland?' says Gus, 'Ansel Hobart Dixland, the great scientist! And
+I'm to be HIS assistant? Assistant to the man who discovered DIXIUM and
+invented--'
+
+“'Oh, belay there!' snorts Nate, impatient. Tell me this--he's awful
+rich, ain't he?'
+
+“'Why, I believe--yes, Harmon said he was. But to think of MY bein'--'
+
+“'Now, nephew,' Nate cut in, 'let me talk to you a minute. Me and your
+Aunt Huldy Ann have been mighty kind to you sence you've been here, and
+here's your chance to do us a good turn. You stick close to science and
+the professor and let me attend to the finances. If this family ain't
+well off pretty soon it won't be your Uncle Nate's fault. Only don't you
+put your oar in where 'tain't needed.'
+
+“Lord love you, Gus didn't care about finances. He was so full of joy at
+bein' made assistant to the great Ansel Whiskers Dixland that he forgot
+everything else, nerves and all.
+
+“So in another day the four of 'em was landed on Ozone Island and so was
+the freight-car load of crates and boxes. Grub and necessaries was to be
+provided by Scudder--for salary as stated and commission understood.
+
+“It took Nate less than a week to find out what old Dixland was up to.
+When he learned it, he set down in the sand and fairly snorted disgust.
+The old idiot was cal'latin' to FLY. Seems that for years he'd been
+experimentin' with what he called 'aeroplanes,' and now he'd reached the
+stage where he b'lieved he could flap his wings and soar. 'Thinks I,'
+says Nate, 'your life work's cut out for you, Nate Scudder. You'll spend
+the rest of your days as gen'ral provider for the Ozone private asylum.'
+Well, Scudder wa'n't complainin' none at the outlook. He couldn't make a
+good livin' no easier.
+
+“The aeroplane was in sections in them boxes and crates. Nate and
+Augustus and the professor got out the sections and fitted 'em together.
+The buildin's on Ozone was all joined together--first the house, then
+the ell, then the wash-rooms and big sheds, and, finally, the barn.
+There was doors connectin', and you could go from house to barn, both
+downstairs and up, without steppin' outside once.
+
+“'Twas in the barn that they built what Whiskers called the 'flyin'
+stage.' 'Twas a long chute arrangement on trestles, and the idea was
+that the aeroplane was to get her start by slidin' down the chute, out
+through the big doors and off by the atmosphere route to glory. I say
+that was the IDEA. In practice she worked different.
+
+“Twice the professor made proclamations that everything was ready, and
+twice they started that flyin' machine goin'. The fust time Dixland
+was at the helm, and him and the aeroplane dropped headfust into the
+sandbank just outside the barn. The machine was underneath, and the
+pieces of it acted as a fender, so all the professor fractured was his
+temper. But it took ten days to get the contraption ready for the next
+fizzle. Then poor, shaky, scart Augustus was pilot, and he went so deep
+into the bank that Nate says he wondered whether 'twas wuth while doin'
+anything but orderin' the gravestone. But they dug him out at last,
+whole, but frightened blue, and his nerves was worse than ever after
+that.
+
+“Then old Dixland announces that he has discovered somethin' wrong in
+the principle of the thing, and they had to wait while he ordered some
+new fittin's from Boston.
+
+“Meanwhile there was other complications settin' in. Scudder was kept
+busy providin' grub and such like and helpin' the niece, Olivia,
+with the housework. Likewise he had his hands full keepin' the
+folks alongshore from findin' out what was goin' on. All this flyin'
+foolishness had to be a dead secret.
+
+“But, busy as he was, he found time to notice the thick acquaintance
+that was developin' between Augustus and Olivia. Them two was what the
+minister calls 'kindred sperrits.' Seems she was sufferin' from science
+same as he was and, more'n that, she was loaded to the gunwale with
+'social reform.' To hear the pair of 'em go on about helpin' the poor
+and 'settlement work' and such was enough, accordin' to Nate, to make
+you leave the table. But there! He couldn't complain. Olivia was her
+uncle's only heir, and Nate could see a rainbow of promise ahead for the
+Scudder family.
+
+“The niece was a nice, quiet girl. The only thing Nate had against her,
+outside of the sociology craziness and her not seemin' to take a shine
+to him, was her confounded pets. Nate said he never had no use for
+pets--lazy critters, eatin' up the victuals and costin' money--but
+Olivia was dead gone on 'em. She adopted an old reprobate of a tom-cat,
+which she labeled 'Galileo,' after an Eyetalian who invented spyglasses
+or somethin' similar, and a great big ugly dog that answered to the hail
+of 'Phillips Brooks'; she named him that because she said the original
+Phillips was a distinguished parson and a great philanthropist.
+
+“That dog was a healthy philanthropist. When Nate kicked him the first
+time, he chased him the whole length of the barn. After that they had to
+keep him chained up. He was just pinin' for a chance to swaller Scudder
+whole, and he showed it.
+
+“Well, as time went on, Olivia and Augustus got chummier and chummier.
+Nate give 'em all the chance possible to be together, and as for old
+Professor Whiskers, all he thought of, anyway, was his blessed flyin'
+machine. So things was shapin' themselves well, 'cordin' to Scudder's
+notion.
+
+“One afternoon Nate come, unexpected, to the top of a sand hill at
+t'other end of the island, and there, below, set Olivia and Augustus.
+He had a clove hitch 'round her waist, and they was lookin' into each
+other's spectacles as if they was windows in the pearly gates. Thinks
+Nate: 'They've signed articles,' and he tiptoed away, feelin' that life
+wa'n't altogether an empty dream.
+
+“They was lively hours, them that followed. To begin with, when Nate got
+back to the barn he found the professor layin' on the floor, under the
+flyin' stage, groanin' soulful but dismal. He'd slipped off one of the
+braces of the trestles and sprained both wrists and bruised himself till
+he wa'n't much more than one big lump. He hadn't bruised his tongue
+none to speak of, though, and his language wa'n't sprained so that you'd
+notice it. What broke him up most of all was that he'd got his aeroplane
+ready to 'fly' again, and now he was knocked out so's he couldn't be
+aboard when she went off the ways.
+
+“'It is the irony of fate,' says he.
+
+“'I got it off the blacksmith over to Wellmouth Centre,' Nate told him;
+'but HE might have got it from Fate, or whoever you mean. 'Twas slippery
+iron, I know that, and I warned you against steppin' on it yesterday.'
+
+“The professor more'n hinted that Nate was a dunderhead idiot, and then
+he commenced to holler for Tolliver; he wanted to see Tolliver right
+off. Scudder thought he'd ought to see a doctor, but he wouldn't, so
+Nate plastered him up best he could, got him into the big chair in the
+front room, and went huntin' Augustus. Him and Olivia was still
+camped in the sand bank. Gus's right arm had got tired by this time, I
+cal'late, but he had a new hitch with his left. Likewise they was still
+starin' into each other's specs.
+
+“'Excuse me for interruptin' the mesmerism,' says Nate, 'but the
+professor wants to see you.'
+
+“They jumped and broke away. But it took more'n that to bring 'em down
+out of the clouds. They'd been flyin' a good sight higher than the old
+aeroplane had yet.
+
+“'Uncle Nathan,' says Augustus, gettin' up and shakin' hands, 'I have
+the most wonderful news for you. It's hardly believable. You'll never
+guess it.'
+
+“'Give me three guesses and I'll win on the fust,' says Nate. 'You two
+are engaged.'
+
+“They looked at him as if he'd done somethin' wonderful. 'But, Uncle,'
+says Gus, shakin' hands again, 'just think! she's actually consented to
+marry me.'
+
+“'Well, that's gen'rally understood to be a part of engagin', ain't
+it?' says Nate. 'I'm glad to hear it. Miss Dixland, I congratulate you.
+You've got a fine, promisin' young man.'
+
+“That, to Nate's notion, was about the biggest lie he ever told, but
+Olivia swallered it for gospel. She seemed to thaw toward Scudder a
+little mite, but 'twa'n't at a permanent melt, by no means.
+
+“'Thank you, Mr. Scudder,' says she, still pretty frosty. 'I am full
+aware of Mr. Tolliver's merits. I'm glad to learn that YOU recognize
+them. He has told some things concernin' his stay at your home which--'
+
+“'Yes, yes,' says Nate, kind of hurried. 'Well, I'm sorry to dump bad
+news into a puddle of happiness like this, but your Uncle Ansel, Miss
+Dixland, has been tryin' to fly without his machine, and he's sorry for
+it.'
+
+“Then he told what had happened to the professor, and Olivia started on
+the run for the house. Augustus was goin', too, but Nate held him back.
+
+“'Wait a minute, Gus,' says he. 'Walk along with me; I want to talk with
+you. Now, as an older man, your nighest relation, and one that's come to
+love you like a son--yes, sir, like a son--I think it's my duty just now
+to say a word of advice. You're goin' to marry a nice girl that's comin'
+in for a lot of money one of these days. The professor, he's kind of
+old, his roof leaks consider'ble, and this trouble is likely to hurry
+the end along.
+
+“'Now, then,' Nate goes on, 'Augustus, my boy, what are you and that
+simple, childlike girl goin' to do with all that money? How are you
+goin' to take care of it? You and 'Livia--you mustn't mind my callin'
+her that 'cause she's goin' to be one of the family so soon--you'll
+want to be fussin' with science and such, and you won't have no time
+to attend to the finances. You'll need a good, safe person to be your
+financial manager. Well, you know me and you know your Aunt Huldy Ann.
+WE know all about financin'; WE'VE had experience. You just let us
+handle the bonds and coupons and them trifles. We'll invest 'em for you.
+We'll be yours and 'Livia's financial managers. As for our wages, maybe
+they'll seem a little high, but that's easy arranged. And--'
+
+“Gus interrupted then. 'Oh, that's all settled,' he says. 'Olivia and I
+have planned all that. When we're married we shall devote our lives to
+social work--to settlement work. All the money we ever get we shall use
+to help the poor. WE don't want any of it. We shall live AMONG the poor,
+live just as frugally as they do. Our money we shall give--every cent of
+it--to charity and--'
+
+“'Lord sakes!' yells Nate, 'DON'T talk that way! Don't! Be you crazy,
+too? Why--'
+
+“But Gus went on, talkin' a steady streak about livin' in a little
+tenement in what he called the 'slums' and chuckin' the money to this
+tramp and that, till Nate's head was whirlin'. 'Twa'n't no joke. He
+meant it and so did she, and they was just the pair of loons to do it,
+too.
+
+“Afore Nate had a chance to think up anything sensible to say, Olivia
+comes hollerin' for Gus to hurry. Off he went, and Nate followed
+along, holdin' his head and staggerin' like a voter comin' home from a
+political candidate's picnic. All he could think of was: 'THIS the end
+of all my plannin'! What--WHAT'LL Huldy Ann say to THIS?'
+
+“Nate found the professor bolstered up in his chair, with the other
+two standin' alongside. He was layin' down the law about that blessed
+aeroplane.
+
+“'No! no! NO! I tell you!' he roars, 'I'll see no doctor. My invention
+is ready at last, and, if I'm goin' to die, I'll die successful.
+Tolliver, you've been a faithful worker with me, and yours shall be the
+privilege of makin' the first flight. Wheel me to the window, Olivia,
+and let me see my triumph.'
+
+“But Olivia didn't move. Instead, she looked at Augustus and he at her.
+'Wheel me to the window!' yells Dixland. 'Tolliver, what are you waitin'
+for? The doors are open, the aeroplane is ready. Go this instant and
+fly.'
+
+“Augustus was a bird all right, 'cordin' to Nate's opinion, but he
+didn't seem anxious to spread his wings. He was white, and them nerves
+of his was all in a twitter. If ever there was a scart critter, 'twas
+him then.
+
+“'Go out and fly,' says Nate to him, pretty average ugly. 'Don't you
+hear the boss's order? Here, professor, I'll push you to the window.'
+
+“'Thank you, Scudder,' says Dixland. And then turnin' to Gus: 'Well,
+sir, may I ask why you wait?'
+
+“'Twas Olivia that answered. 'Uncle Ansel,' says she, 'I must tell you
+somethin'. I should have preferred tellin' you privately,' she puts in,
+glarin' at Nate, 'but it seems I can't. Mr. Tolliver and I are engaged
+to be married.'
+
+“Old Whiskers didn't seem to care a continental. All he had in his
+addled head was that flyin' contraption.
+
+“'All right, all right,' he snaps, fretty, 'I'm satisfied. He appears to
+be a decent young man enough. But now I want him to start my aeroplane.'
+
+“'No, Uncle Ansel,' goes on Olivia, 'I cannot permit him to risk his
+life in that way. His nerves are not strong and neither is his heart.
+Besides, the aeroplane has failed twice. Luckily no one was killed in
+the other trials, but the chances are that the third time may prove
+fatal.'
+
+“'Fatal, you imbecile!' shrieks the professor. 'It's perfected, I tell
+you! I--'
+
+“'It makes no difference. No, uncle, Augustus and I have made up our
+minds. His life and health are too precious; he must be spared for the
+grand work that we are to do together. No, Uncle Ansel, he shall NOT
+fly.'
+
+“Did you ever see a cat in a fit? That was the professor just then, so
+Nate said. He tried to wave his sprained wrists and couldn't; tried to
+stamp his foot and found it too lame. But his eyeglasses flashed sparks
+and his tongue spit fire.
+
+“'Are you goin' to start that machine?' he screams at the blue-white,
+shaky Augustus.
+
+“'No, Professor Dixland,' stammers Gus. 'No, sir, I'm sorry, but--'
+
+“'Why don't you ask Mr. Scudder to make the experiment, uncle?' suggests
+that confounded niece, smilin' the spitefullest smile.
+
+“'Scudder,' says the professor, 'I'll give you five thousand dollars
+cash to start in that aeroplane this moment.'
+
+“For a jiffy Nate was staggered. Five thousand dollars CASH--whew! But
+then he thought of how deep Gus had been shoved into that sandbank.
+And there was a new and more powerful motor aboard the thing now. Five
+thousand dollars ain't much good to a telescoped corpse. He fetched a
+long breath.
+
+“'Well, now, Mr. Dixland,' he says, 'I'd like to, fust rate, but you see
+I don't know nothin' about mechanics.'
+
+“'Professor--' begins Augustus. 'Twas the final straw. Old Whiskers
+jumped out of the chair, lameness and all.
+
+“'Out of this house, you ingrate!' he bellers. 'Out this instant! I
+discharge you. Go! go!'
+
+“He was actually frothin' at the mouth. I cal'late Olivia thought he was
+goin' to die, for she run to him.
+
+“'You'd better go, I think,' says she to her shakin' beau. 'Go, dear,
+now. I must stay with him for the present, but we will see each other
+soon. Go now, and trust me.'
+
+“'I disown you, you ungrateful girl,' foams her uncle. 'Scudder, I order
+you to put that--that creature off this island.'
+
+“'Yes, sir,' says Nate, polite; 'in about two shakes of a heifer's
+tail.'
+
+“He started for Augustus, and Gus started for the door. I guess Olivia
+might have interfered, but just then the professor keels over in a kind
+of faint and she had to tend to him. Gus darts out of the door with Nate
+after him. Scudder reached the beach just as his nephew was shovin' off
+in the boat, bound for the mainland.
+
+“'Consarn your empty head!' Nate yelled after him. 'See what you get by
+not mindin' me, don't you? I'm runnin' things on this island after this.
+I'm boss here; understand? When you're ready to sign a paper deedin'
+over ha'f that money your wife's goin' to get to me and Huldy Ann, maybe
+I'll let you come back. And perhaps then I'll square things for you with
+Dixland. But if you dare to set foot on these premises until then I'll
+murder you; I'll drown you; I'll cut you up for bait; I'll feed you to
+the dog.'
+
+“He sculled off, his oars rattlin' 'Hark from the tomb' in the rowlocks.
+He b'lieved Nate meant it all. Oh, Scudder had HIM trained all right.”
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VII
+
+CAPTAIN SOL DECIDES TO MOVE
+
+
+“Trust Nate for that,” interrupted Wingate. “He's just as much a born
+bully as he is a cheat and a skinflint.”
+
+“Yup,” went on Captain Sol. “Well, when Nate got back to the house the
+professor was alone in the chair, lookin' sick and weak. Olivia was up
+in her room havin' a cryin' fit. Nate got the old man to bed, made him
+some clam soup and hot tea, and fetched and carried for him like he was
+a baby. The professor's talk was mainly about the ungrateful desertion,
+as he called it, of his assistant.
+
+“'Keep him away from this island,' he says. 'If he comes, I shall commit
+murder; I know it.'
+
+“Scudder promised that Augustus shouldn't come back. The professor
+wanted guard kept night and day. Nate said he didn't know's he could
+afford so much time, and Dixland doubled his wages on the spot. So Nate
+agreed to stand double watches, made him comfort'ble for the night, and
+left him.
+
+“Olivia didn't come downstairs again. She didn't seem to want any
+supper, but Nate did and had it, a good one. Galileo, the cat, came
+yowlin' around, and Nate kicked him under the sofy. Phillips Brooks
+was howlin' starvation in the woodshed, and Scudder let him howl. If
+he starved to death Nate wouldn't put no flowers on his grave. Take it
+altogether, he was havin' a fairly good time.
+
+“And when, later on, he set alone up in his room over the kitchen, he
+begun to have a better one. Prospects looked good. Maybe old Dixland
+WOULD disown his niece. If he did, Nate figgered he was as healthy a
+candidate for adoption as anybody. And Augustus would have to come to
+terms or stay single. That is, unless him and Olivia got married on
+nothin' a week, paid yearly. Nate guessed Huldy Ann would think he'd
+managed pretty well.
+
+“He set there for a long while, thinkin', and then he says he cal'lates
+he must have dozed off. At any rate, next thing he knew he was settin'
+up straight in his chair, listenin'. It seemed to him that he'd heard a
+sound in the kitchen underneath.
+
+“He looked out of the window, and right away he noticed somethin'. 'Twas
+a beautiful, clear moonlight night, and the high board fence around the
+buildin's showed black against the white sand. And in that white
+strip was a ten-foot white gape. Nate had shut that gate afore he went
+upstairs. Who'd opened it? Then he heard the noise in the kitchen again.
+Somebody was talkin' down there.
+
+“Nate got up and tiptoed acrost the room. He was in his stockin' feet,
+so he didn't make a sound. He reached into the corner and took out his
+old duck gun. It was loaded, both barrels. Nate cocked the gun and crept
+down the back stairs.
+
+“There was a lamp burnin' low on the kitchen table, and there, in a
+couple of chairs hauled as close together as they could be, set
+that Olivia niece and Augustus. They was in a clove hitch again and
+whisperin' soft and slushy.
+
+“My! but Scudder was b'ilin'! He give one jump and landed in the middle
+of that kitchen floor.
+
+“'You--you--you!' he yelled, wavin' the shotgun. 'You're back here, are
+you? You know what I told you I'd do to you? Well, now, I'll do it.'
+
+“The pair of 'em had jumped about as far as Nate had, only the opposite
+way. Augustus was a paralyzed statue, but Olivia had her senses with
+her.
+
+“'Run, Augustus!' she screamed. 'He'll shoot you. Run!'
+
+“And then, with a screech like a siren whistle, Augustus commenced to
+run. Nate was between him and the outside door, so he bolted headfirst
+into the dining room. And after him went Nate Scudder, so crazy mad he
+didn't know what he was doin'.
+
+“'Twas pitch dark in the dining room, but through it they went rattlety
+bang! dishes smashin', chairs upsettin' and 'hurrah, boys!' to pay
+gen'rally. Then through the best parlor and into the front hall.
+
+“I cal'late Nate would have had him at the foot of the front stairs if
+it hadn't been for Galileo. That cat had been asleep on the sofy, and
+the noise and hullabaloo had stirred him up till he was as crazy as the
+rest of 'em. He run right under Nate's feet and down went Nate sprawlin'
+and both barrels of the shotgun bust loose like a couple of cannon.
+
+“Galileo took for tall timber, whoopin' anthems. Up them front stairs
+went Augustus, screechin' shrill, like a woman; he was SURE Nate meant
+to murder him now. And after him his uncle went on all fours, swearin'
+tremendous.
+
+“Then 'twas through one bedroom after another, and each one more crowded
+with noisy, smashable things than that previous. Nate said he could
+remember the professor roarin' 'Fire!' and 'Help!' as the two of 'em
+bumped into his bed, but they didn't stop--they was too busy. The whole
+length of the house upstairs they traveled, then through the ell, then
+the woodshed loft, and finally out into the upper story of the barn. And
+there Nate knew he had him. The ladder was down.
+
+“'Now!' says Nate. 'Now, you long-legged villain, if I don't give you
+what's comin' to you, then--Oh, there ain't no use in your climbin' out
+there; you can't get down.'
+
+“The big barn doors was open, and, in the moonlight, Nate could see
+Gus scramblin' up and around on the flyin' stage where the professor's
+aeroplane was perched, lookin' like some kind of magnified June bug.
+
+“'Come back, you fool!' Scudder yelled at him. 'Come back and be
+butchered. You might as well; it's too high for you to drop. You won't?
+Then I'll come after you.'
+
+“Nate says he never shall forget Augustus's face in the blue light when
+he see his uncle climbin' out on that stage after him. He was simply
+desperate--that's it, desperate. And the next thing he did was jump into
+the saddle of the machine and pull the startin' lever.
+
+“There was the buzz of the electric motor, a slippery, slidin' sound,
+one awful hair-raisin' whoop from Augustus, and then--'F-s-s-s-t!'--down
+the flyin' stage whizzed that aeroplane and out through the doors.
+
+“Nate set down on the trestles and waited for the sound of the smash.
+I guess he actually felt conscience stricken. Of course, he'd only done
+his duty, and yet--
+
+“But no smash came. Instead, there was a long scream from the
+kitchen--Olivia's voice that was. And then another yell that for pure
+joy beat anything ever heard.
+
+“'It flies!' screamed Professor Ansel Hobart Whiskers Dixland, from his
+bedroom window. 'At last! At last! It FLIES!'
+
+“It took Nate some few minutes to paw his way back through the shed loft
+and the ell over the things him and Gus knocked down on the fust lap,
+until he got to his room where the trouble had started. Then he went
+down to the kitchen and outdoor.
+
+“Olivia, a heavenly sort of look on her face, was standin' in the
+moonlight, with her hands clasped, lookin' up at the sky.
+
+“'It flies!' says she, in a kind of whisper over and over again. 'Oh! it
+FLIES!'
+
+“Alongside of her was old Dixland, wrapped in a bedquilt, forgettin' all
+about sprains and lameness; and he likewise was staring at the sky and
+sayin' over and over:
+
+“'It flies! It really FLIES!'
+
+“And Nate looked up, and there, scootin' around in circles, now up high
+and now down low, tippin' this way and tippin' that, was that aeroplane.
+And in the stillness you could hear the buzz of the motor and the yells
+of Augustus.
+
+“Down flopped Scudder in the sand. 'Great land of love,' he says, 'it
+FLIES!'
+
+“Well, for five minutes or so they watched that thing swoop and duck and
+sail up there overhead. And then, slow and easy as a feather in a May
+breeze, down she flutters and lands soft on a hummock a little ways off.
+And that Augustus--a fool for luck--staggers out of it safe and sound,
+and sets down and begins to cry.
+
+“The fust thing to reach him was Olivia. She grabbed him around the
+neck, and you never heard such goin's on as them two had. Nate come
+hurryin' up.
+
+“'Here you!' he says, pullin' 'em apart. 'That's enough of this. And
+you,' he adds to Gus, 'clear right out off this island. I won't make
+shark bait of you this time, but--'
+
+“And then comes Dixland, hippity-hop over the hummocks. 'My noble boy!'
+he sings out, fallin' all of a heap onto Augustus's round shoulders. 'My
+noble boy! My hero!'
+
+“Nate looked on for a full minute with his mouth open. Olivia went away
+toward the house. The professor and Gus was sheddin' tears like a couple
+of waterin' pots.
+
+“'Come! come!' says Scudder finally; 'get up, Mr. Dixland; you'll catch
+cold. Now then, you Tolliver, toddle right along to your boat. Don't you
+worry, professor, I'll fix him so's he won't come here no more.'
+
+“But the professor turned on him like a flash.
+
+“'How dare you interfere?' says he. 'I forgive him everything. He is a
+hero. Why, man, he FLEW!'
+
+“Olivia came up behind and touched Nate on the shoulders. 'Don't
+you think you'd better go, Mr. Scudder?' she purred. 'I've unchained
+Phillips Brooks.'
+
+“Nate swears he never made better time than he done gettin' to the shore
+and the boat Augustus had come over in. But that philanthropist dog only
+missed the supper he'd been waitin' for by about a foot and a half, even
+as 'twas.
+
+“And that was the end of it, fur's Nate was concerned. Olivia was boss
+from then on, and Scudder wa'n't allowed to land on his own island. And
+pretty soon they all went away, flyin' machine and all, and now Gus and
+Olivia are married.”
+
+“Well, by gum!” cried Wingate. “Say, that must have broke Nate's heart
+completely. All that good money goin' to the poor. Ha! ha!”
+
+“Yes,” said Captain Sol, with a broad grin. “Nate told me that every
+time he realized that Gus's flyin' at all was due to his scarin' him
+into it, it fairly made him sick of life.”
+
+“What did Huldy Ann say? I'll bet the fur flew when SHE heard of it!”
+
+“I guess likely it did. Scudder says her jawin's was the worst of all.
+Her principal complaint was that he didn't take up with the professor's
+five-thousand offer and try to fly. 'What if 'twas risky?' she says.
+'If anything happened to you the five thousand would have come to your
+heirs, wouldn't it? But no! you never think of no one but yourself.'”
+
+Mr. Wingate glanced at his watch. “Good land!” he cried, “I didn't
+realize 'twas so late. I must trot along down and meet Stitt. He and I
+are goin' to corner the clam market.”
+
+“I must be goin', too,” said the depot master, rising and moving toward
+the door, picking up his cap on the way. He threw open the door and
+exclaimed, “Hello! here's Sim. What you got on your mind, Sim?”
+
+Mr. Phinney looked rather solemn. “I wanted to speak with you a minute,
+Sol,” he began. “Hello! Barzilla, I didn't know you was here.”
+
+“I shan't be here but one second longer,” replied Mr. Wingate, as he and
+Phinney shook hands. “I'm late already. Bailey'll think I ain't comin'.
+Good-by, boys. See you this afternoon, maybe.”
+
+“Yes, do,” cried Berry, as his guest hurried down to the gate. “I want
+to hear about those automobiles over your way. You ain't bought one,
+have you, Barzilla?”
+
+Wingate grinned over his shoulder. “No,” he called, “I ain't. But other
+folks you know have. It's the biggest joke on earth. You and Sim'll want
+to hear it.”
+
+He waved a big hand and walked briskly up the Shore Road. The depot
+master turned to his friend.
+
+“Well, Sim?” he asked.
+
+“Well, Sol,” answered the building mover gravely, “I've just met Mr.
+Hilton, the minister, and he told me somethin' about Olive Edwards,
+somethin' I thought you'd want to know. You said for me to find out what
+she was cal'latin' to do when she had to give up her home and--”
+
+“I know what I said,” interrupted the depot master rather sharply. “What
+did Hilton say?”
+
+“Mr. Hilton told me not to tell,” continued Phinney, “and I shan't tell
+nobody but you, Sol. I know you wont t mention it. The minister says
+that Olive's hard up as she can be. All she's got in the world is the
+little furniture and store stuff in her house. The store stuff don't
+amount to nothin', but the furniture belonged to her pa and ma, and she
+set a heap by it. Likewise, as everybody knows, she's awful proud and
+self-respectin'. Anything like charity would kill her. Now out West--in
+Omaha or somewheres--she's got a cousin who owed her dad money. Old
+Cap'n Seabury lent this Omaha man two or three thousand dollars and set
+him up in business. Course, the debt's outlawed, but Olive don't
+realize that, or, if she did, it wouldn't count with her. She couldn't
+understand how law would have any effect on payin' money you honestly
+owe. She's written to the Omaha cousin, tellin' him what a scrape she's
+in and askin' him to please, if convenient, let her have a thousand or
+so on account. She figgers if she gets that, she can go to Bayport or
+Orham or somewheres and open another notion store.”
+
+Captain Berry lit a cigar. “Hum!” he said, after a minute. “You say
+she's written to this chap. Has she got an answer yet?”
+
+“No, not any definite one. She heard from the man's wife sayin' that her
+husband--the cousin--had gone on a fishin' trip somewheres up in Canady
+and wouldn't be back afore the eighth of next month. Soon's he does come
+he'll write her. But Mr. Hilton thinks, and so do I--havin' heard a
+few things about this cousin--that it's mighty doubtful if he sends any
+money.”
+
+“Yes, I shouldn't wonder. Where's Olive goin' to stay while she's
+waitin' to hear?”
+
+“In her own house. Mr. Hilton went to Williams and pleaded with him, and
+he finally agreed to let her stay there until the 'Colonial' is moved
+onto the lot. Then the Edwardses house'll be tore down and Olive'll have
+to go, of course.”
+
+The depot master puffed thoughtfully at his cigar.
+
+“She won't hear before the tenth, at the earliest,” he said. “And if
+Williams begins to move his 'Colonial' at once, he'll get it to her lot
+by the seventh, sure. Have you given him your figures for the job?”
+
+“Handed 'em in this very mornin'. One of his high-and-mighty servants,
+all brass buttons and braid, like a feller playin' in the band, took my
+letter and condescended to say he'd pass it on to Williams. I'd liked
+to have kicked the critter, just to see if he COULD unbend; but I jedged
+'twouldn't be good business.”
+
+“Probably not. If the 'Colonial' gets to Olive's lot afore she hears
+from the Omaha man, what then?”
+
+“Well, that's the worst of it. The minister don't know what she'll do.
+There's plenty of places where she'd be more'n welcome to visit a spell,
+but she's too proud to accept. Mr. Hilton's afraid she'll start for
+Boston to hunt up a job, or somethin'. You know how much chance she
+stands of gettin' a job that's wuth anything.”
+
+Phinney paused, anxiously awaiting his companion's reply. When it came
+it was very unsatisfactory.
+
+“I'm goin' to the depot,” said the Captain, brusquely. “So long, Sim.”
+
+He slammed the door of the house behind him, strode to the gate, flung
+it open, and marched on. Simeon gazed in astonishment, then hurried
+to overtake him. Ranging alongside, he endeavored to reopen the
+conversation, but to no purpose. The depot master would not talk. They
+turned into Cross Street.
+
+“Well!” exclaimed Mr. Phinney, panting from his unaccustomed hurry,
+“what be we, runnin' a race? Why! . . . Oh, how d'ye do, Mr. Williams,
+sir? Want to see me, do you?”
+
+The magnate of East Harniss stepped forward.
+
+“Er--Phinney,” he said, “I want a moment of your time. Morning, Berry.”
+
+“Mornin', Williams,” observed Captain Sol brusquely. “All right, Sim.
+I'll wait for you farther on.”
+
+He continued his walk. The building mover stood still. Mr. Williams
+frowned with lofty indignation.
+
+“Phinney,” he said, “I've just looked over those figures of yours, your
+bid for moving my new house. The price is ridiculous.”
+
+Simeon attempted a pleasantry. “Yes,” he answered, “I thought 'twas
+ridic'lous myself; but I needed the money, so I thought I could afford
+to be funny.”
+
+The Williams frown deepened.
+
+“I didn't mean ridiculously low,” he snapped; “I meant ridiculously
+high. I'd rather help out you town fellows if I can, but you can't work
+me for a good thing. I've written to Colt and Adams, of Boston, and
+accepted their offer. You had your chance and didn't see fit to take it.
+That's all. I'm sorry.”
+
+Simeon was angry; also a trifle skeptical.
+
+“Mr. Williams,” he demanded, “do you mean to tell me that THEM people
+have agreed to move you cheaper'n I can?”
+
+“Their price--their actual price may be no lower; but considering their
+up-to-date outfit and--er--progressive methods, they're cheaper. Yes.
+Morning, Phinney.”
+
+He turned on his heel and walked off. Mr. Phinney, crestfallen and
+angrier than ever, moved on to where the depot master stood waiting for
+him. Captain Sol smiled grimly.
+
+“You don't look merry as a Christmas tree, Sim,” he observed. “What did
+his Majesty have to say to you?”
+
+Simeon related the talk with Williams. The depot master's grim smile
+grew broader.
+
+“Sim,” he asked, with quiet sarcasm, “don't you realize that progressive
+methods are necessary in movin' a house?”
+
+Phinney tried to smile in return, but the attempt was a failure.
+
+“Yes,” went on the Captain. “Well, if you can't take the Grand
+Panjandrum home, you can set on the fence and see him go by. That
+ought to be honor enough, hadn't it? However, I may need some of your
+ridiculous figgers on a movin' job of my own, pretty soon. Don't be TOO
+comical, will you?”
+
+“What do you mean by that, Sol Berry?”
+
+“I mean that I may decide to move my own house.”
+
+“Move your OWN house? Where to, for mercy sakes?”
+
+“To that lot on Main Street that belongs to Abner Payne. Abner has
+wanted to buy my lot here on the Shore Road for a long time. He knows
+it'll make a fine site for some rich bigbug's summer 'cottage.' He would
+have bought the house, too, but I think too much of that to sell it.
+Now Abner's come back with another offer. He'll swap my lot for the Main
+Street one, pay my movin' expenses and a fair 'boot' besides. He don't
+really care for my HOUSE, you understand; it's my LAND he's after.”
+
+“Are you goin' to take it up?”
+
+“I don't know. The Main Street lot's a good one, and my house'll look
+good on it. And I'll make money by the deal.”
+
+“Yes, but you've always swore by that saltwater view of yours. Told me
+yourself you never wanted to live anywheres else.”
+
+Captain Sol took the cigar from his lips, looked at it, then threw it
+violently into the gutter.
+
+“What difference does it make where I live?” he snarled. “Who in blazes
+cares where I live or whether I live at all?”
+
+“Sol Berry, what on airth--”
+
+“Shut up! Let me alone, Sim! I ain't fit company for anybody just now.
+Clear out, there's a good feller.”
+
+The next moment he was striding down the hill. Mr. Phinney drew a long
+breath, scratched his head and shook it solemnly. WHAT did it all mean?
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII
+
+THE OBLIGATIONS OF A GENTLEMAN
+
+
+The methods of Messrs. Colt and Adams, the Boston firm of building
+movers, were certainly progressive, if promptness in getting to work
+is any criterion. Two days after the acceptance of their terms by Mr.
+Williams, a freight car full of apparatus arrived at East Harniss. Then
+came a foreman and a gang of laborers. Horses were hired, and within a
+week the “pure Colonial” was off its foundations and on its way to the
+Edwards lot. The moving was no light task. The big house must be brought
+along the Shore Road to the junction with the Hill Boulevard, then swung
+into that aristocratic highway and carried up the long slope, around the
+wide curve, to its destination.
+
+Mr. Phinney, though he hated the whole operation, those having it in
+charge, and the mighty Williams especially, could not resist stealing
+down to see how his successful rivals were progressing with the work
+he had hoped to do. It caused him much chagrin to see that they were
+getting on so very well. One morning, after breakfast, as he stood at
+the corner of the Boulevard and the Shore Road, he found himself engaged
+in a mental calculation.
+
+Three days more and they would swing into the Boulevard; four or five
+days after that and they would be abreast the Edwards lot. Another day
+and . . . Poor Olive! She would be homeless. Where would she go? It
+was too early for a reply from the Omaha cousin, but Simeon, having
+questioned the minister, had little hope that that reply would be
+favorable. Still it was a chance, and if the money SHOULD come before
+the “pure Colonial” reached the Edwards lot, then the widow would at
+least not be driven penniless from her home. She would have to leave
+that home in any event, but she could carry out her project of opening
+another shop in one of the neighboring towns. Otherwise . . . Mr.
+Phinney swore aloud.
+
+“Humph!” said a voice behind him. “I agree with you, though I don't
+know what it's all about. I ain't heard anything better put for a long
+while.”
+
+Simeon spun around, as he said afterwards, “like a young one's
+pinwheel.” At his elbow stood Captain Berry, the depot master, hands
+in pockets, cigar in mouth, the personification of calmness and
+imperturbability. He had come out of his house, which stood close to the
+corner, and walked over to join his friend.
+
+“Land of love!” exclaimed Simeon. “Why don't you scare a fellow to
+death, tiptoein' around? I never see such a cat-foot critter!”
+
+Captain Sol smiled. “Jumpin' it, ain't they?” he said, nodding toward
+the “Colonial.” “Be there by the tenth, won't it?”
+
+“Tenth!” Mr. Phinney sniffed disgust. “It'll be there by the sixth, or I
+miss my guess.”
+
+“Yup. Say, Sim, how soon could you land that shanty of mine in the road
+if I give you the job to move it?”
+
+“I couldn't get it up to the Main Street lot inside of a fortnight,”
+ replied Sim, after a moment's reflection. “Fur's gettin' it in the road
+goes, I could have it here day after to-morrow if I had gang enough.”
+
+The depot master took the cigar out of his mouth and blew a ring of
+smoke. “All right,” he drawled, “get gang enough.”
+
+Phinney jumped. “You mean you've decided to take up with Payne's offer
+and swap your lot for his?” he gasped. “Why, only two or three days ago
+you said--”
+
+“Ya-as. That was two or three days ago, and I've been watchin' the
+'Colonial' since. I cal'late the movin' habit's catchin'. You have your
+gang here by noon to-day.”
+
+“Sol Berry, are you crazy? You ain't seen Abner Payne; he's out of
+town--”
+
+“Don't have to see him. He's made me an offer and I'll write and accept
+it.”
+
+“But you've got to have a selectmen's permit to move--”
+
+“Got it. I went up and saw the chairman an hour ago. He's a friend of
+mine. I nominated him town-meetin' day.”
+
+“But,” stammered Phinney, very much upset by the suddenness of it all,
+“you ain't got my price nor--”
+
+“Drat your price! Give it when I ask it. See here, Sim, are you goin' to
+have my house in the middle of the road by day after to-morrer? Or was
+that just talk?”
+
+“'Twa'n't talk. I can have it there, but--”
+
+“All right,” said Captain Sol coolly, “then have it.”
+
+Hands in pockets, he strolled away. Simeon sat down on a rock by the
+roadside and whistled.
+
+However, whistling was a luxurious and time-wasting method of expressing
+amazement, and Mr. Phinney could not afford luxuries just then. For the
+rest of that day he was a busy man. As Bailey Stitt expressed it, he
+“flew round like a sand flea in a mitten,” hiring laborers, engaging
+masons, and getting his materials ready. That very afternoon the masons
+began tearing down the chimneys of the little Berry house. Before the
+close of the following day it was on the rollers. By two of the day
+after that it was in the middle of the Shore Road, just when its mover
+had declared it should be. They were moving it, furniture and all,
+and Captain Sol was, as he said, going to “stay right aboard all the
+voyage.” No cooking could be done, of course, but the Captain arranged
+to eat at Mrs. Higgins's hospitable table during the transit. His sudden
+freak was furnishing material for gossip throughout the village, but he
+did not care. Gossip concerning his actions was the last thing in the
+world to trouble Captain Sol Berry.
+
+The Williams's “Colonial” was moving toward the corner at a rapid
+rate, and the foreman of the Boston moving firm walked over to see Mr.
+Phinney.
+
+“Say,” he observed to Simeon, who, the perspiration streaming down
+his face, was resting for a moment before recommencing his labor of
+arranging rollers; “say,” observed the foreman, “we'll be ready to turn
+into the Boulevard by tomorrer night and you're blockin' the way.”
+
+“That's all right,” said Simeon, “we'll be past the Boulevard corner by
+that time.”
+
+He thought he was speaking the truth, but next morning, before work
+began, Captain Berry appeared. He had had breakfast and strolled around
+to the scene of operations.
+
+“Well,” asked Phinney, “how'd it seem to sleep on wheels?”
+
+“Tiptop,” replied the depot master. “Like it fust rate. S'pose my next
+berth will be somewheres up there, won't it?”
+
+He was pointing around the corner instead of straight ahead. Simeon
+gaped, his mouth open.
+
+“Up THERE?” he cried. “Why, of course not. That's the Boulevard. We're
+goin' along the Shore Road.”
+
+“That so? I guess not. We're goin' by the Boulevard. Can go that way,
+can't we?”
+
+“Can?” repeated Simeon aghast. “Course we CAN! But it's like boxin' the
+whole compass backward to get ha'f a p'int east of no'th. It's way round
+Robin Hood's barn. It'll take twice as long and cost--”
+
+“That's good,” interrupted the Captain. “I like to travel, and I'm
+willin' to pay for it. Think of the view I'll get on the way.”
+
+“But your permit from the selectmen--” began Phinney. Berry held up his
+hand.
+
+“My permit never said nothin' about the course to take,” he answered,
+his eye twinkling just a little. “There, Sim, you're wastin' time. I
+move by the Hill Boulevard.”
+
+And into the Boulevard swung the Berry house. The Colt and Adams foreman
+was an angry man when he saw the beams laid in that direction. He rushed
+over and asked profane and pointed questions.
+
+“Thought you said you was goin' straight ahead?” he demanded.
+
+“Thought I was,” replied Simeon, “but, you see, I'm only navigator of
+this craft, not owner.”
+
+“Where is the blankety blank?” asked the foreman.
+
+“If you're referrin' to Cap'n Berry, I cal'late you'll find him at
+the depot,” answered Phinney. To the depot went the foreman. Receiving
+little satisfaction there, he hurried to the home of his employer, Mr.
+Williams. The magnate, red-faced and angry, returned with him to
+the station. Captain Sol received them blandly. Issy, who heard the
+interview which followed, declared that the depot master was so cool
+that “an iceberg was a bonfire 'longside of him.” Issy's description
+of this interview, given to a dozen townspeople within the next three
+hours, was as follows:
+
+“Mr. Williams,” said the wide-eyed Issy, “he comes postin' into the
+waitin' room, his foreman with him. Williams marches over to Cap'n Sol
+and he says, 'Berry,' he says, 'are you responsible for the way that
+house of yours is moved?'
+
+“Cap'n Sol bowed and smiled. 'Yes,' says he, sweet as a fresh scallop.
+
+“'You're movin' it to Main Street, aren't you? I so understood.'
+
+“'You understood correct. That's where she's bound.'
+
+“'Then what do you mean by turning out of your road and into mine?'
+
+“'Oh, I don't own any road. Have you bought the Boulevard? The selectmen
+ought to have told us that. I s'posed it was town thoroughfare.'
+
+“Mr. Williams colored up a little. 'I didn't mean my road in that
+sense,' he says. 'But the direct way to Main Street is along the
+shore, and everybody knows it. Now why do you turn from that into the
+Boulevard?'
+
+“Cap'n Sol took a cigar from his pocket. 'Have one?' says he, passin' it
+toward Mr. Williams. 'No? Too soon after breakfast, I s'pose. Why do
+I turn off?' he goes on. 'Well, I'll tell you. I'm goin' to stay right
+aboard my shack while it's movin', and it's so much pleasanter a ride up
+the hill that I thought I'd go that way. I always envied them who could
+afford a house on the Boulevard, and now I've got the chance to have one
+there--for a spell. I'm sartin I shall enjoy it.'
+
+“The foreman growled, disgusted. Mr. Williams got redder yet.
+
+“'Don't you understand?' he snorts. 'You're blockin' the way of the
+house I'M movin'. I have capable men with adequate apparatus to move
+it, and they would be able to go twice as fast as your one-horse country
+outfit. You're blockin' the road. Now they must follow you. It's an
+outrage!'
+
+“Cap'n Sol smiled once more. 'Too bad,' says he. 'It's a pity such
+a nice street ain't wider. If it was my street in my town--I b'lieve
+that's what you call East Harniss, ain't it?--seems to me I'd widen it.'
+
+“The boss of 'my town' ground his heel into the sand. 'Berry,' he snaps,
+'are you goin' to move that house over the Boulevard ahead of mine?'
+
+“The Cap'n looked him square in the eye. 'Williams,' says he, 'I am.'
+
+“The millionaire turned short and started to go.
+
+“'You'll pay for it,' he snarls, his temper gettin' free at last.
+
+“'I cal'late to,' purrs the Cap'n. 'I gen'rally do pay for what I want,
+and a fair price, at that. I never bought in cheap mortgages and held
+'em for clubs over poor folks, never in my life. Good mornin'.'
+
+“And right to Mr. Williams's own face, too,” concluded Issy. “WHAT do
+you think of that?”
+
+Here was defiance of authority and dignity, a sensation which should
+have racked East Harniss from end to end. But most of the men in the
+village, the tradespeople particularly, had another matter on their
+minds, namely, Major Cuthbertson Scott Hardee, of “Silverleaf Hall.” The
+Major and his debts were causing serious worriment.
+
+The creditors of the Major met, according to agreement, on the Monday
+evening following their previous gathering at the club. Obed Gott, one
+of the first to arrive, greeted his fellow members with an air of gloomy
+triumph and a sort of condescending pity.
+
+Higgins, the “general store” keeper, acting as self-appointed chairman,
+asked if anyone had anything to report. For himself, he had seen the
+Major and asked point-blank for payment of his bill. The Major had been
+very polite and was apparently much concerned that his fellow townsmen
+should have been inconvenienced by any neglect of his. He would write to
+his attorneys at once, so he said.
+
+“He said a whole lot more, too,” added Higgins. “Said he had never been
+better served than by the folks in this town, and that I kept a fine
+store, and so on and so forth. But I haven't got any money yet. Anybody
+else had any better luck?”
+
+No one had, although several had had similar interviews with the master
+of “Silverleaf Hall.”
+
+“Obed looks as if he knew somethin',” remarked Weeks. “What is it,
+Obed?”
+
+Mr. Gott scornfully waved his hand.
+
+“You fellers make me laugh,” he said. “You talk and talk, but you don't
+do nothin'. I b'lieve in doin', myself. When I went home t'other night,
+thinks I: 'There's one man that might know somethin' 'bout old Hardee,
+and that's Godfrey, the hotel man.' So I wrote to Godfrey up to Boston
+and I got a letter from him. Here 'tis.”
+
+He read the letter aloud. Mr. Godfrey wrote that he knew nothing about
+Major Hardee further than that he had been able to get nothing from him
+in payment for his board.
+
+“So I seized his trunk,” the letter concluded. “There was nothing in it
+worth mentioning, but I took it on principle. The Major told me a
+lot about writing to his attorneys for money, but I didn't pay much
+attention to that. I'm afraid he's an old fraud, but I can't help liking
+him, and if I had kept on running my hotel I guess he would have got
+away scot-free.”
+
+“There!” exclaimed the triumphant Obed, with a sneer, “I guess that
+settles it, don't it? Maybe you'd be willin' to turn your bills over to
+Squire Baker now.”
+
+But they were not willing. Higgins argued, and justly, that although the
+Major was in all probability a fraud, not even a lawyer could get water
+out of a stone, and that when a man had nothing, suing him was a waste
+of time and cash.
+
+“Besides,” he said, “there's just a chance that he may have attorneys
+and property somewheres else. Let's write him a letter and every one of
+us sign it, tellin' him that we'll call on him Tuesday night expectin'
+to be paid in full. If we call and don't get any satisfaction, why,
+we ain't any worse off, and then we can--well, run him out of town, if
+nothin' more.”
+
+So the letter was written and signed by every man there. It was a long
+list of signatures and an alarming total of indebtedness. The letter was
+posted that night.
+
+The days that followed seemed long to Obed. He was ill-natured at home
+and ugly at the shop, and Polena declared that he was “gettin' so a body
+couldn't live with him.” Her own spirits were remarkably high, and Obed
+noticed that, as the days went by, she seemed to be unusually excited.
+On Thursday she announced that she was going to Orham to visit her
+niece, one Sarah Emma Cahoon, and wouldn't be back right off. He knew
+better than to object, and so she went.
+
+That evening each of the signers of the letter to Major Hardee received
+a courteous note saying that the Major would be pleased to receive the
+gentlemen at the Hall. Nothing was said about payment.
+
+So, after some discussion, the creditors marched in procession across
+the fields and up to “Silverleaf Hall.”
+
+“Hardee's been to Orham to-day,” whispered the keeper of the livery
+stable, as they entered the yard. “He drove over this mornin' and come
+back to-night.”
+
+“DROVE over!” exclaimed Obed, halting in his tracks. “He did? Where'd he
+get the team? I'll bet five dollars you was soft enough to let him have
+it, and never said a word. Well, if you ain't--By jimmy! you wait till I
+get at him! I'll show you that he can't soft soap me.”
+
+Augustus met them at the door and ushered them into the old-fashioned
+parlor. The Major, calm, cool, and imperturbably polite, was waiting to
+receive them. He made some observation concerning the weather.
+
+“The day's fine enough,” interrupted Obed, pushing to the front, “but
+that ain't what we come here to talk about. Are you goin' to pay us what
+you owe? That's what we want to know.”
+
+The “gentleman of the old school” did not answer immediately. Instead he
+turned to the solemn servant at his elbow.
+
+“Augustus,” he said, “you may make ready.” Then, looking serenely at the
+irate Mr. Gott, whose clenched fist rested under the center table, which
+he had thumped to emphasize his demands, the Major asked:
+
+“I beg your pardon, my dear sir, but what is the total of my
+indebtedness to you?”
+
+“Nineteen dollars and twenty-eight cents, and I want you to understand
+that--”
+
+Major Hardee held up a slim, white hand.
+
+“One moment, if you please,” he said. “Now, Augustus.”
+
+Augustus opened the desk in the corner and produced an imposing stack of
+bank notes. Then he brought forth neat piles of halves, quarters, dimes,
+and pennies, and arranged the whole upon the table. Obed's mouth and
+those of his companions gaped in amazement.
+
+“Have you your bill with you, Mr. Gott?” inquired the Major.
+
+Dazedly Mr. Gott produced the required document.
+
+“Thank you. Augustus, nineteen twenty-eight to this gentleman. Kindly
+receipt the bill, Mr. Gott, if you please. A mere formality, of course,
+but it is well to be exact. Thank you, sir. And now, Mr. Higgins.”
+
+One by one the creditors shamefacedly stepped forward, received the
+amount due, receipted the bill, and stepped back again. Mr. Peters, the
+photographer, was the last to sign.
+
+“Gentlemen,” said the Major, “I am sorry that my carelessness in
+financial matters should have caused you this trouble, but now that you
+are here, a representative gathering of East Harniss's men of affairs,
+upon this night of all nights, it seems fitting that I should ask for
+your congratulations. Augustus.”
+
+The wooden-faced Augustus retired to the next room and reappeared
+carrying a tray upon which were a decanter and glasses.
+
+“Gentlemen,” continued the Major, “I have often testified to my
+admiration and regard for your--perhaps I may now say OUR--charming
+village. This admiration and regard has extended to the fair daughters
+of the township. It may be that some of you have conscientious scruples
+against the use of intoxicants. These scruples I respect, but I am sure
+that none of you will refuse to at least taste a glass of wine with me
+when I tell you that I have this day taken one of the fairest to love
+and cherish during life.”
+
+He stepped to the door of the dining room, opened it, and said quietly,
+“My dear, will you honor us with your presence?”
+
+There was a rustle of black silk and there came through the doorway the
+stately form of her who had been Mrs. Polena Ginn.
+
+“Gentlemen,” said the Major, “permit me to present to you my wife, the
+new mistress of 'Silverleaf Hall.'”
+
+The faces of the ex-creditors were pictures of astonishment. Mr. Gott's
+expressive countenance turned white, then red, and then settled to a
+mottled shade, almost as if he had the measles. Polena rushed to his
+side.
+
+“O Obed!” she exclaimed. “I know we'd ought to have told you, but 'twas
+only Tuesday the Major asked me, and we thought we'd keep it a secret
+so's to s'prise you. Mr. Langworthy over to Orham married us, and--”
+
+“My dear,” her husband blandly interrupted, “we will not intrude our
+private affairs upon the patience of these good friends. And now,
+gentlemen, let me propose a toast: To the health and happiness of the
+mistress of 'Silverleaf Hall'! Brother Obed, I--”
+
+The outside door closed with a slam; “Brother Obed” had fled.
+
+A little later, when the rest of the former creditors of the Major came
+out into the moonlight, they found their companion standing by the
+gate gazing stonily into vacancy. “Hen” Leadbetter, who, with Higgins,
+brought up the rear of the procession, said reflectively:
+
+“When he fust fetched out that stack of money I couldn't scarcely
+b'lieve my eyes. I begun to think that we fellers had put our foot in
+it for sartin, and had lost a mighty good customer; but, of course, it's
+all plain enough NOW.”
+
+“Yes,” remarked Weeks with a nod; “I allers heard that P'lena kept a
+mighty good balance in the bank.”
+
+“It looks to me,” said Higgins slyly, “as if we owed Obed here a vote of
+thanks. How 'bout that, Obed?”
+
+And then Major Hardee's new brother-in-law awoke with a jump.
+
+“Aw, you go to grass!” he snarled, and tramped savagely off down the
+hill.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IX
+
+THE WIDOW BASSETT
+
+
+These developments, Major Hardee's marriage and Mr. Gott's discomfiture,
+overshadowed, for the time, local interest in the depot master's house
+moving. This was, in its way, rather fortunate, for those who took the
+trouble to walk down to the lower end of the Boulevard were astonished
+to see how very slowly the moving was progressing.
+
+“Only one horse, Sim?” asked Captain Hiram Baker. “Only one! Why, it'll
+take you forever to get through, won't it?”
+
+“I'm afraid it'll take quite a spell,” admitted Mr. Phinney.
+
+“Where's your other one, the white one?”
+
+“The white horse,” said Simeon slowly, “ain't feelin' just right and
+I've had to lay him off.”
+
+“Humph! that's too bad. How does Sol act about it? He's such a hustler,
+I should think--”
+
+“Sol,” interrupted Sim, “ain't unreasonable. He understands.”
+
+He chuckled inwardly as he said it. Captain Sol did understand. Also Mr.
+Phinney himself was beginning to understand a little.
+
+The very day on which Williams and his foreman had called on the depot
+master and been dismissed so unceremoniously, that official paid a short
+visit to his mover.
+
+“Sim,” he said, the twinkle still in his eye, “his Majesty, Williams
+the Conqueror, was in to see me just now and acted real peevish. He was
+pretty disrespectful to you, too. Called your outfit 'one horse.' That's
+a mistake, because you've got two horses at work right now. It seems a
+shame to make a great man like that lie. Hadn't you better lay off one
+of them horses?”
+
+“Lay one OFF?” exclaimed Simeon. “What for? Why, we'll be slow enough,
+as 'tis. With only one horse we wouldn't get through for I don't know
+how long.”
+
+“That's so,” murmured the Captain. “I s'pose with one horse you'd hardly
+reach the middle of the Boulevard by--well, before the tenth of the
+month. Hey?”
+
+The tenth of the month! The TENTH! Why, it was on the tenth that that
+Omaha cousin of Olive Edwards was to--Mr. Phinney began to see--to see
+and to grin, slow but expansive.
+
+“Hm-m-m!” he mused.
+
+“Yes,” observed Captain Sol. “That white horse of yours looks sort of
+ailin' to me, Sim. I think he needs a rest.”
+
+And, sure enough, next day the white horse was pronounced unfit and
+taken back to the stable. The depot master's dwelling moved, but that is
+all one could say truthfully concerning its progress.
+
+At the depot the Captain was quieter than usual. He joked with his
+assistant less than had been his custom, and for the omission Issy
+was duly grateful. Sometimes Captain Sol would sit for minutes without
+speaking. He seemed to be thinking and to be pondering some grave
+problem. When his friends, Mr. Wingate, Captain Stitt, Hiram Baker, and
+the rest, dropped in on him he cheered up and was as conversational as
+ever. After they had gone he relapsed into his former quiet mood.
+
+“He acts sort of blue, to me,” declared Issy, speaking from the depths
+of sensational-novel knowledge. “If he was a younger man I'd say he was
+most likely in love. Ah, hum! I s'pose bein' in love does get a feller
+mournful, don't it?”
+
+Issy made this declaration to his mother only. He knew better than to
+mention sentiment to male acquaintances. The latter were altogether too
+likely to ask embarrassing questions.
+
+Mr. Wingate and Captain Stitt were still in town, although their stay
+was drawing to a close. One afternoon they entered the station together.
+Captain Sol seemed glad to see them.
+
+“Set down, fellers,” he ordered. “I swan I'm glad to see you. I ain't
+fit company for myself these days.”
+
+“Ain't Betsy Higgins feedin' you up to the mark?” asked Stitt. “Or is
+house movin' gettin' on your vitals?”
+
+“No,” growled the depot master, “grub's all right and so's movin',
+I cal'late. I'm glad you fellers come in. What's the news to Orham,
+Barzilla? How's the Old Home House boarders standin' it? Hear from
+Jonadab regular, do you?”
+
+Mr. Wingate laughed. “Nothin' much,” he said. “Jonadab's too busy
+to write these days. Bein' a sport interferes with letter writing
+consider'ble.”
+
+“Sport!” exclaimed Captain Bailey. “Land of Goshen! Cap'n Jonadab is the
+last one I'd call a sport.”
+
+“That's 'cause you ain't a good judge of human nature, Bailey,” chuckled
+Barzilla. “When ancient plants like Jonadab Wixon DO bloom, they're gay
+old blossoms, I tell you!”
+
+“What do you mean?” asked the depot master.
+
+“I mean that Jonadab's been givin' me heart disease, that's what; givin'
+it to me in a good many diff'rent ways, too. We opened the Old Home
+House the middle of April this year, because Peter T. Brown thought we
+might catch some spring trade. We did catch a little, though whether it
+paid to open up so early's a question. But 'twas June 'fore Jonadab got
+his disease so awful bad. However, most any time in the last part of May
+the reg'lar programme of the male boarders was stirrin' him up.
+
+“Take it of a dull day, for instance. Sky overcast and the wind aidgin'
+round to the sou'east, so's you couldn't tell whether 'twould rain or
+fair off; too cold to go off to the ledge cod fishin' and too hot for
+billiards or bowlin'; a bunch of the younger women folks at one end
+of the piazza playin' bridge; half a dozen men, includin' me and Cap'n
+Jonadab, smokin' and tryin' to keep awake at t'other end; amidships a
+gang of females--all 'fresh air fiends'--and mainly widows or discards
+in the matrimony deal, doin' fancywork and gossip. That would be about
+the usual layout.
+
+“Conversation got to you in homeopath doses, somethin' like this:
+
+“'Did you say “Spades”? WELL! if I'd known you were going to make us
+lose our deal like that, I'd never have bridged it--not with THIS hand.'
+
+“'Oh, Miss Gabble, have you heard what people are sayin' about--' The
+rest of it whispers.
+
+“'A--oo--OW! By George, Bill! this is dead enough, isn't it? Shall we
+match for the cigars or are you too lazy?'
+
+“Then, from away off in the stillness would come a drawn-out 'Honk!
+honk!' like a wild goose with the asthma, and pretty soon up the road
+would come sailin' a big red automobile, loaded to the guards with
+goggles and grandeur, and whiz past the hotel in a hurricane of dust and
+smell. Then all hands would set up and look interested, and Bill would
+wink acrost at his chum and drawl:
+
+“'That's the way to get over the country! Why, a horse isn't
+one--two--three with that! Cap'n Wixon, I'm surprised that a sportin'
+man like you hasn't bought one of those things long afore this.'
+
+“For the next twenty minutes there wouldn't be any dullness. Jonadab
+would take care of that. He'd have the floor and be givin' his opinions
+of autos and them that owned and run 'em. And between the drops of his
+language shower you'd see them boarders nudgin' each other and rockin'
+back and forth contented and joyful.
+
+“It always worked. No matter what time of day or night, all you had to
+say was 'auto' and Cap'n Jonadab would sail up out of his chair like one
+of them hot-air balloons the youngsters nowadays have on Fourth of July.
+And he wouldn't come down till he was empty of remarks, nuther. You
+never see a man get so red faced and eloquent.
+
+“It wa'n't because he couldn't afford one himself. I know that's the
+usual reason for them kind of ascensions, but 'twa'n't his. No, sir!
+the summer hotel business has put a considerable number of dollars in
+Jonadab's hands, and the said hands are like a patent rat trap, a
+mighty sight easier to get into than out of. He could have bought three
+automobiles if he'd wanted to, but he didn't want to. And the reason he
+didn't was named Tobias Loveland and lived over to Orham.”
+
+“I know Tobias,” interrupted Captain Bailey Stitt.
+
+“Course you do,” continued Barzilla. “So does Sol, I guess. Well,
+anyhow, Tobias and Cap'n Jonadab never did hitch. When they was boys
+together at school they was always rowin' and fightin', and when they
+grew up to be thirty and courted the same girl--ten years younger than
+either of 'em, she was--twa'n't much better. Neither of 'em got her,
+as a matter of fact; she married a tin peddler named Bassett over to
+Hyannis. But both cal'lated they would have won if t'other hadn't been
+in the race, and consequently they loved each other with a love that
+passed understandin'. Tobias had got well to do in the cranberry-raisin'
+line and drove a fast horse. Jonadab, durin' the last prosperous year
+or two, had bought what he thought was some horse, likewise. They met
+on the road one day last spring and trotted alongside one another for a
+mile. At the end of that mile Jonadab's craft's jib boom was just astern
+of Tobias's rudder. Inside of that week the Cap'n had swapped his horse
+for one with a two-thirty record, and the next time they met Tobias was
+left with a beautiful, but dusty, view of Jonadab's back hair. So HE
+bought a new horse. And that was the beginnin'.
+
+“It went along that way for twelve months. Fust one feller's nag would
+come home freighted with perspiration and glory, and then t'other's. One
+week Jonadab would be so bloated with horse pride that he couldn't find
+room for his vittles, and the next he'd be out in the stable growlin'
+'cause it cost so much for hay to stuff an old hide rack that wa'n't
+fit to put in a museum. At last it got so that neither one could find a
+better horse on the Cape, and the two they had was practically an even
+match. I begun to have hopes that the foolishness was over. And then the
+tin peddler's widow drifts in to upset the whole calabash.
+
+“She made port at Orham fust, this Henrietta Bassett did, and the style
+she slung killed every female Goliath in the Orham sewin' circle dead.
+Seems her husband that was had been an inventor, as a sort of side line
+to peddlin' tinware, and all to once he invented somethin' that worked.
+He made money--nobody knew how much, though all hands had a guess--and
+pretty soon afterwards he made a will and Henrietta a widow. She'd been
+livin' in New York, so she said, and had come back to revisit the scenes
+of her childhood. She was a mighty well-preserved woman--artificial
+preservatives, I cal'late, like some kinds of tomatter ketchup--and her
+comin' stirred Orham way down to the burnt places on the bottom of the
+kettle.”
+
+“I guess I remember HER, too,” put in Captain Bailey.
+
+“Say!” queried Mr. Wingate snappishly, “do you want to tell about her?
+If you do, why--”
+
+“Belay, both of you!” ordered the depot master. “Heave ahead, Barzilla.”
+
+“The news of her got over to Wellmouth, and me and Jonadab heard of it.
+He was some subject to widows--most widower men are, I guess--but he
+didn't develop no alarmin' symptoms in this case and never even hinted
+that he'd like to see his old girl. Fact is, his newest horse trade had
+showed that it was afraid of automobiles, and he was beginnin' to get
+rabid along that line. Then come that afternoon when him and me was out
+drivin' together, and we--Well, I'll have to tell you about that.
+
+“We was over on the long stretch of wood road between Trumet and
+Denboro, nice hard macadam, the mare--her name was Celia, but Jonadab
+had re-christened her Bay Queen after a boat he used to own--skimmin'
+along at a smooth, easy gait, when, lo and behold you! we rounds a turn
+and there ahead of us is a light, rubber-tired wagon with a man and
+woman on the seat of it. I heard Jonadab give a kind of snort.
+
+“'What's the matter?' says I.
+
+“'Nothin',' says he, between his teeth. 'Only, if I ain't some mistaken,
+that's Tobe Loveland's rig. Wonder if he's got his spunk with him? The
+Queen's feelin' her oats to-day, and I cal'late I can show him a few
+things.'
+
+“'Rubbish!' says I, disgusted. 'Don't be foolish, Jonadab. I don't know
+nothin' about his spunk, but I do know there's a woman with him. 'Tain't
+likely he'll want to race you when he's got a passenger aboard.'
+
+“'Oh, I don't know!' says he. 'I've got you, Barzilla; so 'twill be two
+and two. Let's heave alongside and see.'
+
+“So he clucked to the Queen, and in a jiffy we was astern of t'other
+rig. Loveland looked back over his shoulder.
+
+“'Ugh!' he grunts, 'bout as cordial as a plate of ice cream. ''Lo,
+Wixon, that you?'
+
+“'Um-hm,' begins Jonadab. 'How's that crowbait of yours to-day, Tobe?
+Got any go in him? 'Cause if he has, I--'
+
+“He stopped short. The woman in Loveland's carriage had turned her head
+and was starin' hard.
+
+“'Why!' she gasps. 'I do believe--Why, Jonadab!'
+
+“'HETTIE!' says the Cap'n.
+
+“Well, after that 'twas pull up, of course, and shake hands and talk.
+The widow, she done most of the talkin'. She was SO glad to see him. How
+had he been all these years? She knew him instantly. He hadn't changed
+a mite--that is, not so VERY much. She was plannin' to come over to the
+Old Home House and stay a spell later on; but now she was havin' SUCH a
+good time in Orham, Tobias--Mr. Loveland--was makin' it SO pleasant for
+her. She did enjoy drivin' so much, and Mr. Loveland had the fastest
+horse in the county--did we know that?
+
+“Tobias and Jonadab glowered back and forth while all this gush was
+bein' turned loose, and hardly spoke to one another. But when 'twas over
+and we was ready to start again, the Cap'n says, says he:
+
+“'I'll be mighty glad to see you over to the hotel, when you're ready to
+come, Hettie. I can take you ridin', too. Fur's horse goes, I've got a
+pretty good one myself.'
+
+“'Oh!' squeals the widow. 'Really? Is that him? It's awful pretty, and
+he looks fast.'
+
+“'She is,' says Jonadab. 'There's nothin' round here can beat her.'
+
+“'Humph!' says Loveland. 'Git dap!'
+
+“'Git dap!' says Jonadab, agreein' with him for once.
+
+“Tobias started, and we started. Tobias makes his horse go a little
+faster, and Jonadab speeded up some likewise. I see how 'twas goin' to
+be, and therefore I wa'n't surprised to death when the next ten minutes
+found us sizzlin' down that road, neck and neck with Loveland, dust
+flyin', hoofs poundin', and the two drivers leanin' way for'ard over
+the dash, reins gripped and teeth sot. For a little ways 'twas an even
+thing, and then we commenced to pull ahead a little.
+
+“'Loveland,' yells Jonadab, out of the port corner of his mouth, 'if
+I ain't showin' you my tailboard by the time we pass the fust house in
+Denboro, I'll eat my Sunday hat.'
+
+“I cal'late he would 'a' beat, too. We was drawin' ahead all the time
+and had a three-quarter length lead when we swung clear of the woods and
+sighted Denboro village, quarter of a mile away. And up the road comes
+flyin' a big auto, goin' to beat the cars.
+
+“Let's forget the next few minutes; they wa'n't pleasant ones for me.
+Soon's the Bay Queen sot eyes on that auto, she stopped trottin' and
+commenced to hop; from hoppin' she changed to waltzin' and high jumpin'.
+When the smoke had cleared, the auto was out of sight and we was in the
+bushes alongside the road, with the Queen just gettin' ready to climb
+a tree. As for Tobias and Henrietta, they was roundin' the turn by the
+fust house in Denboro, wavin' by-bys to us over the back of the seat.
+
+“We went home then; and every foot of the way Cap'n Jonadab called an
+automobile a new kind of name, and none complimentary. The boarders,
+they got wind of what had happened and begun to rag him, and the more
+they ragged, the madder he got and the more down on autos.
+
+“And, to put a head on the whole business, I'm blessed if Tobias
+Loveland didn't get in with an automobile agent who was stoppin' in
+Orham and buy a fifteen-hundred-dollar machine off him. And the very
+next time Jonadab was out with the Queen on the Denboro road, Tobias
+and the widow whizzed past him in that car so fast he might as well have
+been hove to. And, by way of rubbin' it in, they come along back pretty
+soon and rolled alongside of him easy, while Henrietta gushed about Mr.
+Loveland's beautiful car and how nice it was to be able to go just as
+swift as you wanted to. Jonadab couldn't answer back, nuther, bein' too
+busy keepin' the Queen from turnin' herself into a flyin' machine.
+
+“'Twas then that he got himself swore in special constable to arrest
+auto drivers for overspeedin'; and for days he wandered round layin' for
+a chance to haul up Tobias and get him fined. He'd have had plenty of
+game if he'd been satisfied with strangers, but he didn't want them
+anyhow, and, besides, most of 'em was on their way to spend money at the
+Old Home House. 'Twould have been poor business to let any of THAT cash
+go for fines, and he realized it.
+
+“'Twas in early June, only a few weeks ago, that the widow come to our
+hotel. I never thought she meant it when she said she was comin', and so
+I didn't expect her. Fact is, I was expectin' to hear that she and Tobe
+Loveland was married or engaged. But there was a slip up somewheres, for
+all to once the depot wagon brings her to the Old Home House, she hires
+a room, and settles down to stay till the season closed, which would be
+in about a fortn't.
+
+“From the very fust she played her cards for Jonadab. He meant to be
+middlin' average frosty to her, I imagine--her bein' so thick with
+Tobias prejudiced him, I presume likely. But land sakes! she thawed
+him out like hot toddy thaws out some folks' tongues. She never took no
+notice of his coldness, but smiled and gushed and flattered, and looked
+her prettiest--which was more'n average, considerin' her age--and by the
+end of the third day he was hangin' round her like a cat round a cook.
+
+“It commenced to look serious to me. Jonadab was a pretty old fish to
+be caught with soft soap and a set of false crimps; but you can't
+never tell. When them old kind do bite, they gen'rally swallow hook and
+sinker, and he sartinly did act hungry. I wished more'n once that Peter
+T. Brown, our business manager, was aboard to help me with advice, but
+Peter is off tourin' the Yosemite with his wife and her relations, so
+whatever pilotin' there was I had to do. And every day fetched Jonadab's
+bows nigher the matrimonial rocks.
+
+“I'd about made up my mind to sound the fog horn by askin' him straight
+out what he was cal'latin' to do; but somethin' I heard one evenin', as
+I set alone in the hotel office, made me think I'd better wait a spell.
+
+“The office window was open and the curtain drawed down tight. I was
+settin' inside, smokin' and goin' over the situation, when footsteps
+sounded on the piazza and a couple come to anchor on the settee right by
+that window. Cap'n Jonadab and Henrietta! I sensed that immediate.
+
+“She was laughin' and actin' kind of queer, and he was talkin' mighty
+earnest.
+
+“'Oh, no, Cap'n! Oh, no!' she giggles. 'You mustn't be so serious on
+such a beautiful night as this. Let's talk about the moon.'
+
+“'Drat the moon!' says Jonadab. 'Hettie, I--'
+
+“'Oh, just see how beautiful the water looks! All shiny and--”
+
+“'Drat the water, too! Hettie, what's the reason you don't want to talk
+serious with me? If that Tobe Loveland--'
+
+“'Really, I don't see why you bring Mr. Loveland's name into the
+conversation. He is a perfect gentleman, generous and kind; and as for
+the way in which he runs that lovely car of his--'
+
+“The Cap'n interrupted her. He ripped out somethin' emphatic.
+
+“'Generous!' he snarls. ''Bout as generous as a hog in the feed trough,
+he is. And as for runnin' that pesky auto, if I'd demean myself to own
+one of them things, I'll bet my other suit I could run it better'n he
+does. If I couldn't, I'd tie myself to the anchor and jump overboard.'
+
+“The way she answered showed pretty plain that she didn't believe him.
+'Really?' she says. 'Do you think so? Good night, Jonadab.'
+
+“I could hear her walkin' off acrost the piazza. He went after her.
+'Hettie,' he says, 'you answer me one thing. Are you engaged to Tobe
+Loveland?'
+
+“She laughed again, sort of teasin' and slow. 'Really,' says she, 'you
+are--Why, no, I'm not.'
+
+“That was all, but it set me to thinkin' hard. She wa'n't engaged to
+Loveland; she said so, herself. And yet, if she wanted Jonadab, she was
+actin' mighty funny. I ain't had no experience, but it seemed to me that
+then was the time to bag him and she'd put him off on purpose. She was
+ages too ancient to be a flirt for the fun of it. What was her game?”
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER X
+
+CAPTAIN JONADAB GOES
+
+
+Mr. Wingate stopped and roared a greeting to Captain Hiram Baker, who
+was passing the open door of the waiting room.
+
+“Hello, there, Hime!” he shouted. “Come up in here! What, are you too
+proud to speak to common folks?”
+
+Captain Hiram entered. “Hello!” he said. “You look like a busy gang, for
+sure. What you doin'--seatin' chairs?”
+
+“Just now we're automobilin',” observed Captain Sol. “Set down, Hiram.”
+
+“Automobilin'?” repeated the new arrival, evidently puzzled.
+
+“Sartin. Barzilla's takin' us out. Go on, Barzilla.”
+
+Mr. Wingate smiled broadly. “Well,” he began, “we HAVE just about
+reached the part where I went autoin'. The widow and me and Jonadab.”
+
+“Jonadab!” shouted Stitt. “I thought you said--”
+
+“I know what I said. But we went auto ridin' just the same.
+
+“'Twas Henry G. Bradbury that took us out, him and his bran-new big
+tourin' car. You see, he landed to board with us the next day after
+Henrietta come--this Henry G. did--and he was so quiet and easy spoken
+and run his car so slow that even a pizen auto hater like Jonadab
+couldn't take much offense at him. He wa'n't very well, he said, subject
+to some kind of heart attacks, and had come to the Old Home for rest.
+
+“Him and the Cap'n had great arguments about the sins of automobilin'.
+Jonadab was sot on the idee that nine folks out of ten hadn't machine
+sense enough to run a car. Bradbury, he declared that that was a fact
+with the majority of autos, but not with his. 'Why, a child could run
+it,' says he. 'Look here, Cap'n: To start it you just do this. To stop
+it you do so and so. To make her go slow you haul back on this lever. To
+make her go faster you shove down this one. And as for steerin'--well,
+a man that's handled the wheels of as many catboats as you have would
+simply have a picnic. I'm in entire sympathy with your feelin's against
+speeders and such--I'd be a constable if I was in your shoes--but this
+is a gentleman's car and runs like one.'
+
+“All Jonadab said was 'Bosh!' and 'Humph!' but he couldn't help actin'
+interested, particular as Mrs. Bassett kept him alongside of the machine
+and was so turrible interested herself. And when, this partic'lar
+afternoon, Henry G. invites us all to go out with him for a little 'roll
+around,' the widow was so tickled and insisted so that he just HAD to
+go; he didn't dast say no.
+
+“Somehow or 'nother--I ain't just sure yet how it happened--the seatin'
+arrangements was made like this: Jonadab and Bradbury on the front seat,
+and me and Henrietta in the stuffed cockpit astern. We rolled out and
+purred along the road, smooth as a cat trottin' to dinner. No speedin',
+no joltin', no nothin'. 'TWAS a 'gentleman's car'; there wa'n't no doubt
+about that.
+
+“We went 'way over to Bayport and Orham and beyond. And all the time
+Bradbury kept p'intin' out the diff'rent levers to Jonadab and tellin'
+him how to work 'em. Finally, after we'd headed back, he asked Jonadab
+to take the wheel and steer her a spell. Said his heart was feelin' sort
+of mean and 'twould do him good to rest.
+
+“Jonadab said no, emphatic and more'n average ugly, but Henry G. kept
+beggin' and pleadin', and pretty soon the widow put in her oar. He must
+do it, to please her. He had SAID he could do it--had told her so--and
+now he must make good. Why, when Mr. Loveland--
+
+“'All right,' snarls Jonadab. 'I'll try. But if ever--'
+
+“'Hold on!' says I. 'Here's where I get out.'
+
+“However, they wouldn't let me, and the Cap'n took the wheel. His jaw
+was set and his hands shakin', but he done it. Hettie had give her
+orders and she was skipper.
+
+“For a consider'ble spell we just crawled. Jonadab was steerin' less
+crooked every minute and it tickled him; you could see that.
+
+“'Answers her hellum tiptop, don't she?' he says.
+
+“'Bet your life!' says Bradbury. 'Better put on a little more speed,
+hadn't we?'”
+
+He put it on himself, afore the new pilot could stop him, and we
+commenced to move.
+
+“'When you want to make her jump,' he says, you press down on that with
+your foot, and you shove the spark back.'
+
+“'Shut up!' howls Jonadab. 'Belay! Don't you dast to touch that. I'm
+scart to death as 'tis. Here! you take this wheel.'
+
+“But he wouldn't, and we went on at a good clip. For a green hand the
+Cap'n was leavin' a pretty straight wake.
+
+“'Gosh!' he says, after a spell; 'I b'lieve I'm kind of gettin' the hang
+of the craft.'
+
+“'Course you are,' says Bradbury. 'I told--Oh!'
+
+“He straightens up, grabs at his vest, and slumps down against the back
+of the seat.
+
+“'What IS it?' screams the widow. 'Oh, what IS it, Mr. Bradbury?'
+
+“He answers, plucky, but toler'ble faintlike. My heart!' he gasps.
+'I--I'm afraid I'm goin' to have one of my attacks. I must get to a
+doctor quick.'
+
+“'Doctor!' I sings out. 'Great land of love! there ain't a doctor nigher
+than Denboro, and that's four mile astern.'
+
+“'Never mind,' cries the Bassett woman. 'We must go there, then. Turn
+around, Jonadab! Turn around at once! Mr. Bradbury--'
+
+“But poor Henry G. was curled up against the cushions and we couldn't
+get nothin' out of him but groans. And all the time we was sailin' along
+up the road.
+
+“'Turn around, Jonadab!' orders Henrietta. 'Turn around and go for the
+doctor!'
+
+“Jonadab's hands was clutched on that wheel, and his face was white as
+his rubber collar.
+
+“'Jerushy!' he groans desperate, 'I--I don't know HOW to turn around.'
+
+“'Then stop, you foolhead!' I bellers. 'Stop where you be!'
+
+“And he moans--almost cryin' he was: 'I--I've forgotten how to STOP.'
+
+“Talk about your situations! If we wa'n't in one then I miss my guess.
+Every minute we was sinkin' Denboro below the horizon.
+
+“'We MUST get to a doctor,' says the widow. 'Where is there another one,
+Mr. Wingate?'
+
+“'The next one's in Bayport,' says I, 'and that's ten mile ahead if it's
+a foot.'
+
+“However, there wa'n't nothin' else for it, so toward Bayport we put.
+Bradbury groaned once in a while, and Mrs. Bassett got nervous.
+
+“'We'll never get there at this rate,' says she. 'Go faster, Jonadab.
+Faster! Press down on--on that thing he told you to. Please! for MY
+sake.'
+
+“'Don't you--' I begun; but 'twas too late. He pressed, and away we
+went. We was eatin' up the road now, I tell you, and though I was
+expectin' every minute to be my next, I couldn't help admirin' the way
+the Cap'n steered. And, as for him, he was gettin' more and more set up
+and confident.
+
+“'She handles like a yacht, Barzilla,' he grunts, between his teeth.
+'See me put her around the next buoy ahead there. Hey! how's that?'
+
+“The next 'buoy' was a curve in the road, and we went around it
+beautiful. So with the next and the next and the next. Bayport wa'n't so
+very fur ahead. All to once another dreadful thought struck me.
+
+“'Look here!' I yells. 'How in time are we goin' to stop when we--OW!'
+
+“The Bassett woman had pinched my arm somethin' savage. I looked at her,
+and she was scowlin' and shakin' her head.
+
+“'S-sh-sh!' she whispers. 'Don't disturb him. He'll be frightened and--'
+
+“'Frightened! Good heavens to Betsy! I cal'late he won't be the only one
+that's fri--'
+
+“But she looked so ugly that I shut up prompt, though I done a heap of
+thinkin'. On we went and, as we turned the next 'buoy,' there, ahead of
+us, was another auto, somethin' like ours, with only one person in it, a
+man, and goin' in the same direction we was, though not quite so fast.
+
+“Then I WAS scart. 'Hi, Jonadab!' I sings out. 'Heave to! Come about!
+Shorten sail! Do you want to run him down? Look OUT!'
+
+“I might as well have saved my breath. Heavin' to and the rest of it
+wa'n't included in our pilot's education. On we went, same as ever. I
+don't know what might have happened if the widow hadn't kept her head.
+She leaned over the for'ard rail of the after cockpit and squeezed a
+rubber bag that was close to Jonadab's starboard arm. It was j'ined to
+the fog whistle, I cal'late, 'cause from under our bows sounded a beller
+like a bull afoul of a barb-wire fence.
+
+“The feller in t'other car turned his head and looked. Then he commenced
+to sheer off to wind'ard so's to let us pass. But all the time he kept
+lookin' back and starin' and, as we got nigher, and I could see him
+plainer through the dust, he looked more and more familiar. 'Twas
+somebody I knew.
+
+“Then I heard a little grunt, or gasp, from Cap'n Jonadab. He was
+leanin' for'ard over the wheel, starin' at the man in the other auto.
+The nigher we got, the harder he stared; and the man in front was
+actin' similar in regards to him. And, all to once, the head car stopped
+swingin' off to wind'ard, turned back toward the middle of the road, and
+begun to go like smoke. The next instant I felt our machine fairly jump
+beneath me. I looked at Jonadab's foot. 'Twas pressed hard down on the
+speed lever.
+
+“'You crazy loon!' I screeched. 'You--you--you--Stop it! Take your foot
+off that! Do you want to--!'
+
+“I was climbin' over the back of the front seat, my knee pretty nigh on
+Bradbury's head. But, would you believe it, that Jonadab man let go of
+the wheel with one hand--let GO of it, mind you--and give me a shove
+that sent me backward in Henrietta Bassett's lap.
+
+“'Barzilla!' he growled, between his teeth, 'you set where you be
+and keep off the quarterdeck. I'm runnin' this craft. I'll beat that
+Loveland this time or run him under, one or t'other!'
+
+“As sure as I'm alive this minute, the man in the front car was Tobias
+Loveland!
+
+“And from then on--Don't talk! I dream about it nights and wake up with
+my arms around the bedpost. I ain't real sure, but I kind of have an
+idee that the bedpost business comes from the fact that I was huggin'
+the widow some of the time. If I did, 'twa'n't knowin'ly, and she never
+mentioned it afterwards. All I can swear to is clouds of dust, and horns
+honkin', and telegraph poles lookin' like teeth in a comb, and Jonadab's
+face set as the Day of Judgment.
+
+“He kept his foot down on the speed place as if 'twas glued. He shoved
+the 'spark'--whatever that is--'way back. Every once in a while he
+yelled, yelled at the top of his lungs. What he yelled hadn't no sense
+to it. Sometimes you'd think that he was drivin' a horse and next that
+he was handlin' a schooner in a gale.
+
+“'Git dap!' he'd whoop. 'Go it, you cripples! Keep her nose right in the
+teeth of it! She's got the best of the water, so let her bile! Whe-E-E!'
+
+“We didn't stop at Bayport. Our skipper had made other arrangements.
+However, the way I figgered it, we was long past needin' a doctor, and
+you can get an undertaker 'most anywhere. We went through the village
+like a couple of shootin' stars, Tobias about a length ahead, his hat
+blowed off, his hair--what little he's got--streamin' out behind, and
+that blessed red buzz wagon of his fairly skimmin' the hummocks and
+jumpin' the smooth places. And right astern of him comes Jonadab,
+hangin' to the wheel, HIS hat gone, his mouth open, and fillin' the dust
+with yells and coughs.
+
+“You could see folks runnin' to doors and front gates; but you never saw
+'em reach where they was goin'--time they done that we was somewheres
+round the next bend. A pullet run over us once--yes, I mean just that.
+She clawed the top of the widow's bunnit as we slid underneath her, and
+by the time she lit we was so fur away she wa'n't visible to the
+naked eye. Bradbury--who'd got better remarkable sudden--was pawin' at
+Jonadab's arm, tryin' to make him ease up; but he might as well have
+pawed the wind. As for Henrietta Bassett, she was acrost the back of the
+front seat tootin' the horn for all she was wuth. And curled down in a
+heap on the cockpit floor was a fleshy, sea-farin' person by the name of
+Barzilla Wingate, sufferin' from chills and fever.
+
+“I think 'twas on the long stretch of the Trumet road that we beat
+Tobias. I know we passed somethin' then, though just what I ain't
+competent to testify. All I'm sure of is that, t'other side of Bayport
+village, the landscape got some less streaked and you could most
+gen'rally separate one house from the next.
+
+“Bradbury looked at Henrietta and smiled, a sort of sickly smile. She
+was pretty pale, but she managed to smile back. I got up off the floor
+and slumped on the cushions. As for Cap'n Jonadab Wixon, he'd stopped
+yellin', but his face was one broad, serene grin. His mouth, through
+the dust and the dirt caked around it, looked like a rain gully in a
+sand-bank. And, occasional, he crowed, hoarse but vainglorious.
+
+“'Did you see me?' he barked. 'Did you notice me lick him? He'll laugh
+at me, will he?--him and his one-horse tin cart! Ho! HO! Why, you'd
+think he was settin' down to rest! I've got him where I want him now!
+Ho, ho! Say, Henrietta, did you go swift as you--? Land sakes! Mr.
+Bradbury, I forgot all about you. And I--I guess we must have got a good
+ways past the doctor's place.'
+
+“Bradbury said never mind. He felt much better, and he cal'lated he'd do
+till we fetched the Old Home dock. He'd take the wheel, now, he guessed.
+
+“But, would you b'lieve it, that fool Jonadab wouldn't let him! He was
+used to the ship now, he said, and, if 'twas all the same to Henry G.
+and Hettie, he'd kind of like to run her into port.
+
+“'She answers her hellum fine,' he says. 'After a little practice I
+cal'late I could steer--'
+
+“'Steer!' sings out Bradbury. 'STEER! Great Caesar's ghost! I give you
+my word, Cap'n Wixon, I never saw such handlin' of a machine as you did
+goin' through Bayport, in my life. You're a wonder!'
+
+“'Um-hm,' says Jonadab contented. 'I've steered a good many vessels in
+my time, through traffic and amongst the shoals, and never run afoul
+of nothin' yet. I don't see much diff'rence on shore--'cept that it's a
+little easier.'
+
+“EASIER! Wouldn't that--Well, what's the use of talkin'?
+
+“We got to the Old Home House safe and sound; Jonadab, actin' under
+Bradbury's orders, run her into the yard, slowin' up and stoppin' at
+the front steps slick as grease. He got out, his chest swelled up like
+a puffin' pig, and went struttin' in to tell everybody what he'd done to
+Loveland. I don't know where Bradbury and the widow went. As for me, I
+went aloft and turned in. And 'twas two days and nights afore I got up
+again. I had a cold, anyway, and what I'd been through didn't help it
+none.
+
+“The afternoon of the second day, Bradbury come up to see me. He was
+dressed in his city clothes and looked as if he was goin' away. Sure
+enough, he was; goin' on the next train.
+
+“'Where's Jonadab?' says I.
+
+“'Oh, he's out in his car,' he says. 'Huntin' for Loveland again,
+maybe.'
+
+“'HIS car? You mean yours.'
+
+“'No, I mean his. I sold my car to him yesterday mornin' for twenty-five
+hundred dollars cash.'
+
+“I set up in bed. 'Go 'long!' I sings out. 'You didn't nuther!'
+
+“'Yes, I did. Sure thing. After that ride, you couldn't have separated
+him from that machine with blastin' powder. He paid over the money like
+a little man.'
+
+“I laid down again. Jonadab Wixon payin' twenty-five hundred dollars for
+a plaything! Not promisin', but actually PAYIN' it!
+
+“'Has--has the widow gone with him?' I asked, soon's I could get my
+breath.
+
+“He laughed sort of queer. 'No,' he says, 'she's gone out of town for
+a few days. Ha, ha! Well, between you and me, Wingate, I doubt if
+she comes back again. She and I have made all we're likely to in this
+neighborhood, and she's too good a business woman to waste her time.
+Good-by; glad to have met you.'
+
+“But I smelt rat strong and wouldn't let him go without seein' the
+critter.
+
+“'Hold on!' I says. 'There's somethin' underneath all this. Out with it.
+I won't let on to the Cap'n if you don't want me to.'
+
+“'Well,' says he, laughin' again, 'Mrs. Bassett WON'T come back and
+I know it. She and I have sold four cars on the Cape in the last five
+weeks, and the profits'll more'n pay vacation expenses. Two up in
+Wareham, one over in Orham, to Loveland--'
+
+“'Did YOU sell Tobias his?' I asks, settin' up again.
+
+“'Hettie and I did--yes. Soon's we landed him, we come over to bag old
+Wixon. I thought one time he'd kill us before we got him, but he didn't.
+How he did run that thing! He's a game sport.'
+
+“'See here!' says I. 'YOU and Hettie sold--What do you mean by that?'
+
+“'Mrs. Bassett is my backer in the auto business,' says he. 'She put in
+her money and I furnished the experience. We've got a big plant up in--'
+namin' a city in Connecticut.
+
+“I fetched a long breath. 'WELL!' says I. 'And all this makin' eyes at
+Tobe and Jonadab was just--just--'
+
+“'Just bait, that's all,' says he. 'I told you she was a good business
+woman.'
+
+“I let this sink in good. Then says I, 'Humph! I swan to man! And how's
+your heart actin' now?'
+
+“'Fine!' he says, winkin'. 'I had that attack so's the Cap'n would learn
+to run on his own hook. I didn't expect quite so much of a run, but
+I'm satisfied. Don't you worry about my heart disease. That twenty-five
+hundred cured it. 'Twas all in the way of business,' says Henry G.
+Bradbury.”
+
+“Whew!” whistled Captain Hiram as Barzilla reached into his pocket for
+pipe and tobacco. “Whew! I should say your partner had a narrer escape.
+Want to look out sharp for widders. They're dangerous, hey, Sol?”
+
+The depot master did not answer. Captain Hiram asked another question.
+“How'd Jonadab take Hettie's leavin'?” he inquired.
+
+“Oh,” said Barzilla, “I don't think he minded so much. He was too crazy
+about his new auto to care for anything else. Then, too, he was b'ilin'
+mad 'cause Loveland swore out a warrant against him for speedin'.
+
+“'Nice trick, ain't it?' he says. 'I knew Tobe was a poor loser, but
+I didn't think he'd be so low down as all that. Says I was goin' fifty
+mile an hour. He! he! Well, I WAS movin', that's a fact. I don't care.
+'Twas wuth the twenty-dollar fine.'
+
+“'Maybe so,' I says, 'but 'twon't look very pretty to have a special
+auto constable hauled up and fined for breakin' the law he's s'posed to
+protect.'
+
+“He hadn't thought of that. His face clouded over.
+
+“'No use, Barzilla,' says he; 'I'll have to give it up.'
+
+“'Guess you will,' says I. 'Automobilin' is--'
+
+“'I don't mean automobilin',' he snorts disgusted. 'Course not! I mean
+bein' constable.'
+
+“So there you are! From cussin' automobiles he's got so that he can't
+talk enough good about 'em. And every day sence then he's out on the
+road layin' for another chance at Tobias. I hope he gets that chance
+pretty soon, because--well, there's a rumor goin' round that Loveland is
+plannin' to swap his car for a bigger and faster one. If he does . . .”
+
+“If he does,” interrupted Captain Sol, “I hope you'll fix the next race
+for over here. I'd like to see you go by, Barzilla.”
+
+“Guess you'd have to look quick to see him,” laughed Stitt. “Speakin'
+about automobiles--”
+
+“By gum!” ejaculated Wingate, “you'd have to look somewheres else to
+find ME. I've got all the auto racin' I want!”
+
+“Speakin' of automobiles,” began Captain Bailey again. No one paid the
+slightest attention.
+
+“How's Dusenberry, your baby, Hiram?” asked the depot master, turning to
+Captain Baker. “His birthday's the Fourth, and that's only a couple of
+days off.”
+
+The proud parent grinned, then looked troubled.
+
+“Why, he ain't real fust-rate,” he said. “Seems to be some under
+the weather. Got a cold and kind of sore throat. Dr. Parker says he
+cal'lates it's a touch of tonsilitis. There's consider'ble fever, too.
+I was hopin' the doctor'd come again to-day, but he's gone away on
+a fishin' cruise. Won't be home till late to-morrer. I s'pose me and
+Sophrony hadn't ought to worry. Dr. Parker seems to know about the
+case.”
+
+“Humph!” grunted the depot master, “there's only two bein's in creation
+that know it all. One's the Almighty and t'other's young Parker. He's
+right out of medical school and is just as fresh as his diploma. He
+hadn't any business to go fishin' and leave his patients. We lost a
+good man when old Dr. Ryder died. He . . . Oh, well! you mustn't
+worry, Hiram. Dusenberry'll pull out in time for his birthday. Goin' to
+celebrate, was you?”
+
+Captain Baker nodded. “Um-hm,” he said. “Sophrony's goin' to bake a
+frosted cake and stick three candles on it--he's three year old, you
+know--and I've made him a 'twuly boat with sails,' that's what he's been
+beggin' for. Ho! ho! he's the cutest little shaver!”
+
+“Speakin' of automobiles,” began Bailey Stitt for the third time.
+
+“That youngster of yours, Hiram,” went on the depot master, “is the
+right kind. Compared with some of the summer young ones that strike this
+depot, he's a saint.”
+
+Captain Hiram grinned. “That's what I tell Sophrony,” he said.
+“Sometimes when Dusenberry gets to cuttin' up and she is sort of
+provoked, I say to her, 'Old lady,' I say, 'if you think THAT'S a
+naughty boy, you ought to have seen Archibald.'”
+
+“Who was Archibald?” asked Barzilla.
+
+“He was a young rip that Sim Phinney and I run across four years ago
+when we went on our New York cruise together. The weir business had been
+pretty good and Sim had been teasin' me to go on a vacation with him, so
+I went. Sim ain't stopped talkin' about our experiences yet. Ho! ho!”
+
+“You bet he ain't!” laughed the depot master. “One mix-up you had with
+a priest, and a love story, and land knows what. He talks about that to
+this day.”
+
+“What was it? He never told me,” said Wingate.
+
+“Why, it begun at the Golconda House, the hotel where Sim and I was
+stayin'. We--”
+
+“Did YOU put up at the Golconda?” interrupted Barzilla. “Why, Cap'n
+Jonadab and me stayed there when we went to New York.”
+
+“I know you did. Jonadab recommended it to Sim, and Sim took the
+recommendation. That Golconda House is the only grudge I've got against
+Jonadab Wixon. It sartin is a tough old tavern.”
+
+“I give in to that. Jonadab's so sot on it account of havin' stopped
+there on his honeymoon, years and years ago. He's too stubborn to
+own it's bad. It's a matter of principle with him, and he's sot on
+principle.”
+
+“Yes,” continued Baker. “Well, Sim and me had been at that Golconda
+three days and nights. Mornin' of the fourth day we walked out of the
+dinin' room after breakfast, feelin' pretty average chipper. Gettin'
+safe past another meal at that hotel was enough of itself to make a chap
+grateful.
+
+“We walked out of the dinin' room and into the office. And there, by the
+clerk's desk, was a big, tall man, dressed up in clothes that was loud
+enough to speak for themselves, and with a shiny new tall hat, set with
+a list to port, on his head. He was smooth-faced and pug-nosed, with an
+upper lip like a camel's.
+
+“He didn't pay much attention to us, nor to anybody else, for the matter
+of that. He was as mournful as a hearse, for all his joyful togs.
+
+“'Fine day, ain't it?' says Sim, social.
+
+“The tall chap looked up at him from under the deck of the beaver hat.
+
+“'Huh!' he growls out, and looks down again.
+
+“'I say it's a fine day,' said Phinney again.
+
+“'I was after hearin' yez say it,' says the man, and walks off, scowlin'
+like a meat ax. We looked after him.
+
+“'Who was that murderer?' asks Sim of the clerk. 'And when are they
+going to hang him?'
+
+“'S-sh-sh!' whispers the clerk, scart. ''Tis the boss. The bloke what
+runs the hotel. He's a fine man, but he has troubles. He's blue.'
+
+“'So that's the boss, hey?' says I. 'And he's blue. Well, he looks it.
+What's troublin' him? Ain't business good?'
+
+“'Never better. It ain't that. He has things on his mind. You see--'
+
+“I cal'late he'd have told us the yarn, only Sim wouldn't wait to hear
+it. We was goin' sight-seein' and we had 'aquarium' and 'Stock Exchange'
+on the list for that afternoon. The hotel clerk had made out a kind of
+schedule for us of things we'd ought to see while we was in New York,
+and so fur we'd took in the zoological menagerie and the picture museum,
+and Central Park and Brooklyn Bridge.
+
+“On the way downtown in the elevated railroad Sim done some preachin'.
+His text was took from the Golconda House sign, which had 'T. Dempsey,
+Proprietor,' painted on it.
+
+“'It's that Dempsey man's conscience that makes him so blue, Hiram,'
+says Sim. 'It's the way he makes his money. He sells liquor.'
+
+“'Oh!' says I. 'Is THAT it? I thought maybe he'd been sleepin' on one
+of his own hotel beds. THEY'RE enough to make any man blue--black and
+blue.'
+
+“The 'aquarium' wa'n't a success. Phinney was disgusted. He give one
+look around, grabbed me by the arm, and marched me out of that building
+same as Deacon Titcomb, of the Holiness Church at Denboro, marched his
+boy out of the Universalist sociable.
+
+“'It's nothin' but a whole passel of fish,' he snorts. 'The idea of
+sendin' two Cape Codders a couple of miles to look at FISH. I've looked
+at 'em and fished for 'em, and et 'em all the days of my life,' he says,
+'and when I'm on a vacation I want a change. I'd forgot that “aquarium”
+ meant fish, or you wouldn't have got me within smellin' distance of
+it. Necessity's one thing and pleasure's another, as the boy said about
+takin' his ma's spring bitters.'
+
+“So we headed for the Stock Exchange. We got our gallery tickets at the
+bank where the Golconda folks kept money, and in a little while we was
+leanin' over a kind of marble bulwarks and starin' down at a gang of men
+smokin' and foolin' and carryin' on. 'Twas a dull day, so we found out
+afterward, and I guess likely that was true. Anyway, I never see such
+grown-up men act so much like children. There was a lot of poles stuck
+up around with signs on 'em, and around every pole was a circle of
+bedlamites hollerin' like loons. Hollerin' was the nighest to work
+of anything I see them fellers do, unless 'twas tearin' up papers and
+shovin' the pieces down somebody's neck or throwin' 'em in the air like
+a play-actin' snowstorm.
+
+“'What's the matter with 'em?' says I. 'High finance taken away their
+brains?'
+
+“But Phinney was awful interested. He dumped some money in a mine once.
+The mine caved in on it, I guess, for not a red cent ever come to the
+top again, but he's been a kind of prophet concernin' finances ever
+sence.
+
+“'I want to see the big fellers,' says he. 'S'pose that fat one is
+Morgan?'
+
+“'I don't know,' says I. 'Me and Pierpont ain't met for ever so long.
+Don't lean over and point so; you're makin' a hit.'
+
+“He was, too. Some of the younger crew on the floor was lookin' up and
+grinnin', and more kept stoppin' and joinin' in all the time. I cal'late
+we looked kind of green and soft, hangin' over that marble rail, like
+posies on a tombstone; and green is the favorite color to a stockbroker,
+they tell me. Anyhow, we had a good-sized congregation under us in
+less than no time. Likewise, they got chatty, and commenced to unload
+remarks.
+
+“'Land sakes!' says one. 'How's punkins?'
+
+“'How's crops down your way?' says another.
+
+“Now there wa'n't nothin' real bright and funny about these
+questions--more fresh than new, they struck me--but you'd think they
+was gems from the comic almanac, jedgin' by the haw-haws. Next minute
+a little bald-headed smart Alec, with clothes that had a tailor's sign
+hull down and out of the race, steps to the front and commences to make
+a speech.
+
+“'Gosh t'mighty, gents,' says he. 'With your kind permission, I'll sing
+“When Reuben Comes to Town.”'
+
+“And he did sing it, too, in a voice that needed cultivatin' worse'n
+a sandy front yard. And with every verse the congregation whooped and
+laughed and cheered. When the anthem was concluded, all hands set up a
+yell and looked at us to see how we took it.
+
+“As for me, I was b'ilin' mad and mortified and redhot all over. But Sim
+Phinney was as cool as an October evenin'. Once in a while old Sim
+comes out right down brilliant, and he done it now. He smiled, kind
+of tolerant and easy, same as you might at the tricks of a hand-organ
+monkey. Then he claps his hands, applaudin' like, reaches into his
+pocket, brings up a couple of pennies, and tosses 'em down to little
+baldhead, who was standin' there blown up with pride.
+
+“For a minute the crowd was still. And THEN such a yell as went up! The
+whole floor went wild. Next thing I knew the gallery was filled with
+brokers, grabbin' us by the hands, poundin' us on the back, beggin' us
+to come have a drink, and generally goin' crazy. We was solid with the
+'system' for once in our lives. We could have had that whole buildin',
+from marble decks to gold maintruck, if we'd said the word. Fifty
+yellin' lunatics was on hand to give it to us; the other two hundred was
+joyfully mutilatin' the baldhead.
+
+“Well, I wanted to get away, and so did Sim, I guess; but the crowd
+wouldn't let us. We'd got to have a drink; hogsheads of drinks. That was
+the best joke on Eddie Lewisburg that ever was. Come on! We MUST come
+on! Whee! Wow!
+
+“I don't know how it would have ended if some one hadn't butted head
+first through the mob and grabbed me by the shoulder. I was ready to
+fight by this time, and maybe I'd have begun to fight if the chap who
+grabbed me hadn't been a few inches short of seven foot high. And,
+besides that, I knew him. 'Twas Sam Holden, a young feller I knew when
+he boarded here one summer. His wife boarded here, too, only she wa'n't
+his wife then. Her name was Grace Hargrave and she was a fine girl.
+Maybe you remember 'em, Sol?”
+
+The depot master nodded.
+
+“I remember 'em well,” he said. “Liked 'em both--everybody did.”
+
+“Yes. Well, he knew us and was glad to see us.
+
+“'It IS you!' he sings out. 'By George! I thought it was when I came on
+the floor just now. My! but I'm glad to see you. And Mr. Phinney, too!
+Bully! Clear out and let 'em alone, you Indians.'
+
+“The crowd didn't want to let us alone, but Sam got us clear somehow,
+and out of the Exchange Buildin' and into the back room of a kind of
+restaurant. Then he gets chairs for us, orders cigars, and shakes hands
+once more.
+
+“'To think of seein' you two in New York!' he says, wonderin'. 'What are
+you doin' here? When did you come? Tell us about it.'
+
+“So we told him about our pleasure cruise, and what had happened to us
+so fur. It seemed to tickle him 'most to death.
+
+“'Grace and I are keepin' house, in a modest way, uptown,' says Sam,
+'and she'll be as glad to see you as I am. You're comin' up to dinner
+with me to-night, and you're goin' to make us a visit, you know,' he
+says.
+
+“Well, if we didn't know it then, we learned it right away. Nothin'
+that me or Simeon could say would make him change the course a point. So
+Phinney went up to the Golconda House and got our bags, and at half-past
+four that afternoon the three of us was in a hired hack bound uptown.
+
+“On the way Sam was full of fun as ever. He laughed and joked, and asked
+questions about East Harniss till you couldn't rest. All of a sudden he
+slaps his knee and sings out:
+
+“'There! I knew I'd forgotten somethin'. Our butler left yesterday,
+and I was to call at the intelligence office on my way home and see if
+they'd scared up a new one.'
+
+“I looked at Simeon, and he at me.
+
+“'Hum!' says I, thinkin' about that 'modest' housekeepin'. 'Do you keep
+a butler?'
+
+“'Not long,' says he, dry as a salt codfish. And that's all we could get
+out of him.
+
+“I s'pose there's different kinds of modesty. We hadn't more'n got
+inside the gold-plated front door of that house when I decided that the
+Holden brand of housekeepin' wa'n't bashful enough to blush. If I'D been
+runnin' that kind of a place, the only time I'd felt shy and retirin'
+was when the landlord came for the rent.
+
+“One of the fo'mast hands--hired girls, I mean--went aloft to fetch Mrs.
+Holden, and when Grace came down she was just as nice and folksy and
+glad to see us as a body could be. But she looked sort of troubled, just
+the same.
+
+“'I'm ever so glad you're here,' says she to me and Simeon. 'But, oh,
+Sam! it's a shame the way things happen. Cousin Harriet and Archie came
+this afternoon to stay until to-morrow. They're on their way South.
+And I have promised that you and I shall take Harriet to see Marlowe
+to-night. Of course we won't do it now, under any consideration, but you
+know what she is.'
+
+“Sam seemed to know. He muttered somethin' that sounded like a Scripture
+text. Simeon spoke up prompt.
+
+“'Indeed you will,' says he, decided. 'Me and Hiram ain't that kind.
+We've got relations of our own, and we know what it means when they
+come a-visitin'. You and Mr. Holden'll take your comp'ny and go to
+see--whatever 'tis you want to see, and we'll make ourselves to home
+till you get back. Yes, you will, or we clear out this minute.'
+
+“They didn't want to, but we was sot, and so they give in finally. It
+seemed that this Cousin Harriet was a widow relation of the Holdens, who
+lived in a swell country house over in Connecticut somewhere, and was
+rich as the rest of the tribe. Archie was her son. 'Hers and the Evil
+One's,' Sam said.
+
+“We didn't realize how much truth there was in this last part until we
+run afoul of Archie and his ma at dinner time. Cousin Harriet was tall
+and middlin' slim, thirty-five years old, maybe, at a sale for
+taxes, but discounted to twenty at her own valuation. She was got up
+regardless, and had a kind of chronic, tired way of talkin', and a
+condescendin' look to her, as if she was on top of Bunker Hill monument,
+and all creation was on its knees down below. She didn't warm up to
+Simeon and me much; eyed us over through a pair of gilt spyglasses, and
+admitted that she was 'charmed, I'm sure.' Likewise, she was afflicted
+with 'nerves,' which must be a divil of a disease--for everybody but the
+patient, especial.
+
+“Archie--his ma hailed him as 'Archibald, dear'--showed up pretty
+soon in tow of his 'maid,' a sweet-faced, tired-out Irish girl named
+Margaret. 'Archibald, dear,' was five years old or so, sufferin' from
+curls and the lack of a lickin'. I never see a young one that needed a
+strap ile more.
+
+“'How d'ye do Archie?' says Simeon, holdin' out his hand.
+
+“Archie didn't take the hand. Instead of that he points at Phinney and
+commences to laugh.
+
+“'Ho, ho!' says he, dancin' and pointin'. 'Look at the funny whiskers.'
+
+“Sim wa'n't expectin' that, and it set him all aback, like he'd run into
+a head squall. He took hold of his beard and looked foolish. Sam and
+Grace looked ashamed and mad. Cousin Harriet laughed one of her lazy
+laughs.
+
+“'Archibald, de-ar,' she drawls, 'you mustn't speak that way. Now be
+nice, and play with Margaret durin' dinner, that's a good boy.'
+
+“'I won't,' remarks Archie, cheerful. 'I'm goin' to dine with you,
+mama.'
+
+“'Oh, no, you're not, dear. You'll have your own little table, and--'
+
+“Then 'twas' Hi, yi!' 'Bow, wow!' Archibald wa'n't hankerin' for little
+tables. He was goin' to eat with us, that's what. His ma, she argued
+with him and pleaded, and he yelled and stamped and hurrahed. When
+Margaret tried to soothe him he went at her like a wild-cat, and kicked
+and pounded her sinful. She tried to take him out of the room, and then
+Cousin Harriet come down on her like a scow load of brick.
+
+“'Haven't I told you,' says she, sharp and vinegary, 'not to oppose the
+child in that way? Archibald has such a sensitive nature,' she says to
+Grace, 'that opposition arouses him just as it did me at his age. Very
+well, dear; you MAY dine with us to-night, if you wish. Oh, my poor
+nerves! Margaret, why don't you place a chair for Master Archibald? The
+creature is absolutely stupid at times,' she says, talkin' about that
+poor maid afore her face with no more thought for her feelin's than
+if she was a wooden image. 'She has no tact whatever. I wouldn't have
+Archibald's spirit broken for anything.'
+
+“'Twas his neck that needed breakin' if you asked ME. That was a joyful
+meal, now I tell you.
+
+“There was more joy when 'twas over. Archie didn't want to go to bed,
+havin' desires to set up and torment Simeon with questions about his
+whiskers; askin' if they growed or was tied on, and things like that.
+Course he didn't know his ma was goin' to the show, or he wouldn't have
+let her. But finally he was coaxed upstairs by Margaret and a box of
+candy, and, word havin' been sent down that he was asleep, Sam got
+out his plug hat, and Grace and Cousin Harriet got on their fur-lined
+dolmans and knit clouds, and was ready for the hack.
+
+“'I feel mighty mean to go off and leave you this way,' says Sam to
+me and Simeon. 'But you make yourself at home, won't you? This is your
+house to-night, you know; servants and all.'
+
+“'How about that boy's wakin' up?' says I.
+
+“'Oh, his maid'll attend to him. If she needs any help you can give it
+to her,' he says, winkin' on the side.
+
+“But Cousin Harriet was right at his starboard beam, and she heard him.
+She flew up like a settin' hen.
+
+“'Indeed they will NOT!' she sings out. 'If anyone but Margaret was to
+attempt to control Archibald, I don't dare think what might happen.
+I shall not stir from this spot until these persons promise not to
+interfere in ANY way; Archibald, dear, is such a sensitive child.'
+
+“So we promised not to interfere, although Sim Phinney looked
+disappointed when he done it. I could see that he'd had hopes afore he
+give that promise.”
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XI
+
+IN THE GREAT METROPOLIS
+
+
+“So they left you and Sim Phinney to keep house, did they, Hiram?”
+ observed Wingate.
+
+“They did. And, for a spell, we figgered on bein' free from too much
+style.
+
+“After they'd gone we loafed into the settin' room or libr'ry, or
+whatever you call it, and come to anchor in a couple of big lazy chairs.
+
+“'Now,' says I, takin' off my coat, 'we can be comf'table.'
+
+“But we couldn't. In bobs a servant girl to know if we 'wanted
+anything.' We didn't, but she looked so shocked when she see me in my
+shirt sleeves that I put the coat on again, feelin' as if I'd ought
+to blush. And in a minute back she comes to find out if we was SURE we
+didn't want anything. Sim was hitchin' in his chair. Between 'nerves'
+and Archibald, his temper was raw on the edges.
+
+“'Say,' he bursts out, 'you look kind of pale to me. What you need is
+fresh air. Why don't you go take a walk?'
+
+“The girl looked at him with her mouth open.
+
+“'Oh,' says she, 'I couldn't do that, thank you, sir. That would leave
+no one but the cook and the kitchen girl. And the master said you was to
+be made perfectly comf'table, and--'
+
+“'Yes,' says Sim, dry, 'I heard him say it. And we can't be comf'table
+with you shut up in the house this nice evenin'. Go and take a walk, and
+take the cook and stewardess with you. Don't argue about it. I'm skipper
+here till the boss gets back. Go, the three of you, and go NOW. D'ye
+hear?'
+
+“There was a little more talk, but not much. In five minutes or so the
+downstairs front door banged, and there was gigglin' outside.
+
+“'There,' says Simeon, peelin' off HIS coat and throwin' himself back in
+one chair with his feet on another one. 'Now, by Judas, I'm goin' to be
+homey and happy like poor folks. I don't wonder that Harriet woman's got
+nerves. Darn style, anyhow! Pass over that cigar box, Hiram.'
+
+“'Twas half an hour later or so when Margaret, the nursemaid, came
+downstairs. I'd almost forgot her. We was tame and toler'ble contented
+by that time. Phinney called to her as she went by the door.
+
+“'Is that young one asleep?' he asked.
+
+“'Yes, sir,' says she, 'he is. Is there anything I can do? Did you want
+anything?'
+
+“Simeon looks at me. 'I swan to man, it's catchin'!' he says. 'They've
+all got it. No, we don't want anything, except--What's the matter? YOU
+don't need fresh air, do you?'
+
+“The girl looked as if she'd lost her last friend. Her pretty face was
+pale and her eyes was wet, as if she'd been cryin'.
+
+“'No, sir,' says she, puzzled. 'No, sir, thank you, sir.'
+
+“'She's tired out, that's all,' says I. I swan, I pitied the poor thing.
+'You go somewheres and take a nap,' I told her. 'Me and my friend won't
+tell.'
+
+“Oh, no, she couldn't do that. It wa'n't that she was tired--no more
+tired than usual--but she'd been that troubled in her mind lately,
+askin' our pardon, that she was near to crazy.
+
+“We was sorry for that, but it didn't seem to be none of our business,
+and she was turnin' away, when all at once she stops and turns back
+again.
+
+“'Might I ask you gintlemen a question?' she says, sort of pleadin'.
+'Sure I mane no harm by it. Do aither of you know a man be the name of
+Michael O'Shaughnessy?'
+
+“Me and Sim looked at each other. 'Which?' says I. 'Mike O' who?' says
+Simeon.
+
+“'Aw, don't you know him?' she begs. 'DON'T you know him? Sure I hoped
+you might. If you'd only tell me where he is I'd git on me knees and
+pray for you. O Mike, Mike! why did you leave me like this? What'll
+become of me?'
+
+“And she walks off down the hall, coverin' her face with her hands and
+cryin' as if her heart was broke.
+
+“'There! there!' says Simeon, runnin' after her, all shook up. He's a
+kind-hearted man--especially to nice-lookin' females. 'Don't act so,' he
+says. 'Be a good girl. Come right back into the settin' room and tell
+me all about it. Me and Cap'n Baker ain't got nerves, and we ain't rich,
+neither. You can talk to us. Come, come!'
+
+“She didn't know how to act, seemingly. She was like a dog that's been
+kicked so often he's suspicious of a pat on the head. And she was cryin'
+and sobbin' so, and askin' our pardon for doin' it, that it took a good
+while to get at the real yarn. But we did get it, after a spell.
+
+“It seems that the girl--her whole name was Margaret Sullivan--had
+been in this country but a month or so, havin' come from Ireland in a
+steamboat to meet the feller who'd kept comp'ny with her over there. His
+name was Michael O'Shaughnessy, and he'd been in America for four years
+or more, livin' with a cousin in Long Island City. And he'd got a good
+job at last, and he sent for her to come on and be married to him.
+And when she landed 'twas the cousin that met her. Mike had drawn a
+five-thousand-dollar prize in the Mexican lottery a week afore, and
+hadn't been seen sence.
+
+“So poor Margaret goes to the cousin's to stay. And she found them poor
+as Job's pet chicken, and havin' hardly grub enough aboard to feed the
+dozen or so little cousins, let alone free boarders like her. And so,
+havin' no money, she goes out one day to an intelligence office where
+they deal in help, and puts in a blank askin' for a job as servant girl.
+'Twas a swell place, where bigbugs done their tradin', and there she
+runs into Cousin Harriet, who was a chronic customer, always out of
+servants, owin' to the complications of Archibald and nerves. And
+Harriet hires her, because she was pretty and would work for a shavin'
+more'n nothin', and carts her right off to Connecticut. And when
+Margaret sets out to write for her trunk, and to tell where she is, she
+finds she's lost the cousin's address, and can't remember whether it's
+Umpty-eighth Street or Tin Can Avenue.
+
+“'And, oh,' says she, 'what SHALL I do? The mistress is that hard to
+please, and the child is that wicked till I want to die. And I have no
+money and no friends. O Mike! Mike!' she says. 'If you only knew you'd
+come to me. For it's a good heart he has, although the five thousand
+dollars carried away his head,' says she.
+
+“I don't believe I ever wanted to make a feller's acquaintance more than
+I done that O'Shaughnessy man's. The mean blackguard, to leave his girl
+that way. And 'twas easy to see what she'd been through with Cousin
+Harriet and that brat. We tried to comfort her all we could; promised to
+have a hunt through Long Island and the directory, and to help get her
+another place when she got back from the South, and so on. But 'twas
+kind of unsatisfactory. 'Twas her Mike she wanted.
+
+“'I told the Father about it at the church up there,' she says, 'and he
+wrote, but the letters was lost, I guess. And I thought if I might see
+a priest here in New York he might help me. But the mistress is to go at
+noon to-morrer, and I'll have no time. What SHALL I do?' says she, and
+commenced to cry again.
+
+“Then I had an idea. 'Priest?' says I. 'There's a fine big church, with
+a cross on the ridgepole of it, not five minutes' walk from this house.
+I see it as we was comin' up. Why don't you run down there this minute?'
+I says.
+
+“No, she didn't want to leave Archibald. Suppose he should wake up.
+
+“'All right,' says I. 'Then I'll go myself. And I'll fetch a priest up
+here if I have to tote him on my back, like the feller does the codfish
+in the advertisin' picture.'
+
+“I didn't have to tote him. He lived in a mighty fine house, hitched
+onto the church, and there was half a dozen assistant parsons to help
+him do his preachin'. But he was big and fat and gray-haired and as
+jolly and as kind-hearted a feller as you'd want to meet. He said he'd
+come right along; and he done it.
+
+“Phinney opened the door for us. 'What's the row?' says I, lookin' at
+his face.
+
+“'Row?' he snorts; 'there's row enough for six. That da--excuse me,
+mister--that cussed Archibald has woke up.'
+
+“He had; there wa'n't no doubt about it. And he was raisin' hob, too.
+The candy, mixed up with the dinner, had put his works in line with his
+disposition, and he was poundin' and yellin' upstairs enough to wake the
+dead. Margaret leaned over the balusters.
+
+“'Is it the Father?' she says. 'Oh, dear! what'll I do?'
+
+“'Send some of the other servants to the boy,' says the priest, 'and
+come down yourself.'
+
+“Simeon, lookin' kind of foolish, explained what had become of the other
+servants. Father McGrath--that was his name--laughed and shook all over.
+
+“'Very well,' says he. 'Then bring the young man down. Perhaps he'll be
+quiet here.'
+
+“So pretty soon down come Margaret with Archibald, full of the Old
+Scratch, as usual, dressed up gay in a kind of red blanket nighty, with
+a rope around the middle of it. The young one spotted Simeon, and set up
+a whoop.
+
+“'Oh! there's the funny whiskers,' he sings out.
+
+“'Good evenin', my son,' says the priest.
+
+“'Who's the fat man?' remarks Archibald, sociable. 'I never saw such a
+red fat man. What makes him so red and fat?'
+
+“These questions didn't make Father McGrath any paler. He laughed, of
+course, but not as if 'twas the funniest thing he ever heard.
+
+“'So you think I'm fat, do you, my boy?' says he.
+
+“'Yes, I do,' says Archibald. 'Fat and red and funny. Most as funny as
+the whisker man. I never saw such funny-lookin' people.'
+
+“He commenced to point and holler and laugh. Poor Margaret was so
+shocked and mortified she didn't know what to do.
+
+“'Stop your noise, sonny,' says I. 'This gentleman wants to talk to your
+nurse.'
+
+“The answer I got was some unexpected.
+
+“'What makes your feet so big?' says Archie, pointin' at my Sunday
+boots. 'Why do you wear shoes like that? Can't you help it? You're
+funny, too, aren't you? You're funnier than the rest of 'em.'
+
+“We all went into the library then, and Father McGrath tried to ask
+Margaret some questions. I'd told him the heft of the yarn on the way
+from the church, and he was interested. But the questionin' was mighty
+unsatisfyin'. Archibald was the whole team, and the rest of us was
+yeller dogs under the wagon.
+
+“'Can't you keep that child quiet?' asks the priest, at last, losin' his
+temper and speakin' pretty sharp.
+
+“'O Archie, dear! DO be a nice boy,' begs Margaret, for the eight
+hundredth time.
+
+“'Why don't you punish him as he deserves?'
+
+“'Father, dear, I can't. The mistress says he's so sensitive that he has
+to have his own way. I'd lose my place if I laid a hand on him.'
+
+“'Come on into the parlor and see the pictures, Archie,' says I.
+
+“'I won't,' says Archibald. 'I'm goin' to stay here and see the fat man
+make faces.'
+
+“'You see,' says Sim, apologizin' 'we can't touch him, 'cause we
+promised his ma not to interfere. And my right hand's got cramps in the
+palm of it this minute,' he adds, glarin' at the young one.
+
+“Father McGrath stood up and reached for his hat. Margaret began to cry.
+Archibald, dear, whooped and kicked the furniture. And just then the
+front-door bell rang.
+
+“For a minute I thought 'twas Cousin Harriet and the Holdens come back,
+but then I knew it was hours too early for that. Margaret was too much
+upset to be fit for company, so I answered the bell myself. And who in
+the world should be standin' on the steps but that big Dempsey man, the
+boss of the Golconda House, where me and Simeon had been stayin'; the
+feller we'd spoke to that very mornin'.
+
+“'Good evenin', sor,' says he, in a voice as deep as a well. 'I'm glad
+to find you to home, sor. There's a telegram come for you at my place,'
+he says, 'and as your friend lift the address when he come for the
+baggage this afternoon, I brought it along to yez. I was comin' this
+way, so 'twas no trouble.'
+
+“'That's real kind of you,' I says. 'Step inside a minute, won't you?'
+
+“So in he comes, and stands, holdin' his shiny beaver in his hand, while
+I tore open the telegram envelope. 'Twas a message from a feller I knew
+with the Clyde Line of steamboats. He had found out, somehow, that we
+was in New York, and the telegram was an order for us to come and make
+him a visit.
+
+“'I hope it's not bad news, sor,' says the big chap.
+
+“'No, no,' says I. 'Not a bit of it, Mr. Dempsey. Come on in and have a
+cigar, won't you?'
+
+“'Thank you, sor,' says he. 'I'm glad it's not the bad news. Sure, I ax
+you and your friend's pardon for bein' so short to yez this mornin', but
+I'm in that throuble lately that me timper is all but gone.'
+
+“'That so?' says I. 'Trouble's thick in this world, ain't it? Me and Mr.
+Phinney got a case of trouble on our hands now, Mr. Dempsey, and--'
+
+“'Excuse me, sor,' he says. 'My name's not Dempsey. I suppose you seen
+the sign with me partner's name on it. I only bought into the business
+a while ago, and the new sign's not ready yit. Me name is O'Shaughnessy,
+sor.'
+
+“'What?' says I. And then: 'WHAT?'
+
+“'O'Shaughnessy. Michael O'Shaughnessy. I--'
+
+“'Hold on!' I sung out. 'For the land sakes, hold on! WHAT'S your name?'
+
+“He bristled up like a cat.
+
+“'Michael O'Shaughnessy,' he roars, like the bull of Bashan. 'D'yez
+find any fault with it? 'Twas me father's before me--Michael Patrick
+O'Shaughnessy, of County Sligo. I'll have yez know--WHAT'S THAT?'
+
+“'Twas a scream from the libr'ry. Next thing I knew, Margaret, the nurse
+girl, was standin' in the hall, white as a Sunday shirt, and swingin'
+back and forth like a wild-carrot stalk in a gale.
+
+“'Mike!' says she, kind of low and faint. 'Mary be good to us! MIKE!'
+
+“And the big chap dropped his tall hat on the floor and turned as white
+as she was.
+
+“'MAGGIE!' he hollers. And then they closed in on one another.
+
+“Sim and the priest and Archie had followed the girl into the hall. Me
+and Phinney was too flabbergasted to do anything, but big Father McGrath
+was cool as an ice box. When Archibald, like the little imp he was, sets
+up a whoop and dives for them two, the priest grabs him by the rope of
+the blanket nighty and swings him into the libr'ry, and shuts the door
+on him.
+
+“'And now,' says he, takin' Sim and me by the arms and leadin' us to the
+parlor, 'we'll just step in here and wait a bit.'
+
+“We waited, maybe, ten minutes. Archibald, dear, shut up in the libr'ry,
+was howlin' blue murder, but nobody paid any attention to him. Then
+there was a knock on the door between us and the hall, and Father
+McGrath opened it. There they was, the two of 'em--Mike and
+Maggie--lookin' red and foolish--but happy, don't talk!
+
+“'You see, sor,' says the O'Shaughnessy man to me, ''twas the
+five-thousand-dollar prize that done it. I'd been workin' at me trade,
+sor--larnin' to tind bar it was--and I'd just got a new job where the
+pay was pretty good, and I'd sint over for Maggie, and was plannin' for
+the little flat we was to have, and the like of that, when I drew that
+prize. And the joy of it was like handin' me a jolt on the jaw. It put
+me out for two weeks, sor, and when I come to I was in Baltimore, where
+I'd gone to collect the money; and two thousand of the five was gone,
+and I knew me job in New York was gone, and I was that shamed and sick
+it took me three days more to make up me mind to come to me Cousin
+Tim's, where I knew Maggie'd be waitin' for me. And when I did come back
+she was gone, too.'
+
+“'And then,' says Father McGrath, sharp, 'I suppose you went on another
+spree, and spent the rest of the money.'
+
+“'I did not, sor--axin' your pardon for contradictin' your riverence.
+I signed the pledge, and I'll keep it, with Maggie to help me. I put
+me three thousand into a partnership with me friend Dempsey, who was
+runnin' the Golconda House--'tis over on the East Side, with a fine bar
+trade--and I'm doin' well, barrin' that I've been crazy for this poor
+girl, and advertisin' and--'
+
+“'And look at the clothes of him!' sings out Margaret, reverentlike.
+'And is that YOUR tall hat, Mike? To think of you with a tall hat! Sure
+it's a proud girl I am this day. Saints forgive me, I've forgot Archie!'
+
+“And afore we could stop her she'd run into the hall and unfastened
+the libr'ry door. It took her some time to smooth down the young one's
+sensitive feelin's, and while she was gone, me and Simeon told the
+O'Shaughnessy man a little of what his girl had had to put up with along
+of Cousin Harriet and Archibald. He was mad.
+
+“'Is that the little blackguard?' he asks, pointin' to Archibald, who
+had arrived by now.
+
+“'That's the one,' says I.
+
+“Archibald looked up at him and grinned, sassy as ever.
+
+“'Father McGrath,' asks O'Shaughnessy, determined like, 'can you marry
+us this night?'
+
+“'I can,' says the Father.
+
+“'And will yez?'
+
+“'I will, with pleasure.'
+
+“'Maggie,' says Mike, 'get your hat and jacket on and come with the
+Father and me this minute. These gintlemen here will explain to your
+lady when she comes back. But YOU'LL come back no more. We'll send for
+your trunk to-morrer.'
+
+“Even then the girl hesitated. She'd been so used to bein' a slave that
+I suppose she couldn't realize she was free at last.
+
+“'But, Mike, dear,' she says. 'I--oh, your lovely hat! Put it down,
+Archie, darlin'. Put it down!'
+
+“Archibald had been doin' a little cruisin' on his own hook, and he'd
+dug up Mike's shiny beaver where it had been dropped in the hall. Now he
+was dancin' round with it, bangin' it on the top as if it was a drum.
+
+“'Put it down, PLEASE!' pleads Margaret. 'Twas plain that that plug was
+a crown of glory to her.
+
+“'Drop it, you little thafe!' yells O'Shaughnessy, makin' a dive for the
+boy.
+
+“'I won't!' screams Archibald, and starts to run. He tripped over the
+corner of a mat, and fell flat. The plug hat was underneath him, and it
+fell flat, too.
+
+“'Oh! oh! oh!' wails Margaret, wringin' her hands. 'Your beautiful hat,
+Mike!'
+
+“Mike's face was like a sunset.
+
+“'Your reverence,' says he, 'tell me this; don't the wife promise to
+“obey” in the marriage service?'
+
+“'She does,' says Father McGrath.
+
+“'D'ye hear that, you that's to be Margaret O'Shaughnessy? You do? Well,
+then, as your husband that's to be in tin minutes, I order you to give
+that small divil what's comin' to him. D'ye hear me? Will yez obey me,
+or will yez not?'
+
+“She didn't know what to do. You could see she wanted to--her fingers
+was itchin' to do it, but--And then Archie held up the ruins of the hat
+and commenced to laugh.
+
+“That settled it. Next minute he was across her knee and gettin' what
+he'd been sufferin' for ever sence he was born; and gettin' all the back
+numbers along with it, too.
+
+“And in the midst of the performance Sim Phinney leans over to me with
+the most heavenly, resigned expression on his face, and says he:
+
+“'It ain't OUR fault, Hiram. We promised not to interfere.'”
+
+“What did Sam Holden and his wife say when they got home?” asked Captain
+Sol, when the triumphant whoops over Archibald's righteous chastisement
+had subsided.
+
+“We didn't give him much of a chance to say anything. I laid for him in
+the hall when he arrived and told him that Phinney had got a telegram
+and must leave immediate. He wanted to know why, and a whole lot more,
+but I told him we'd write it. Neither Sim nor me cared to face Cousin
+Harriet after her darlin' son had spun his yarn. Ha! ha! I'd like to
+have seen her face--from a safe distance.”
+
+Captain Bailey Stitt cleared his throat. “Referrin' to them
+automobiles,” he said, “I--”
+
+“Say, Sol,” interrupted Wingate, “did I ever tell you of Cap'n Jonadab's
+and my gettin' took up by the police when WE was in New York?”
+
+“No,” replied the astounded depot master. “Took up by the POLICE?”
+
+“Um--hm. Surprises you, don't it? Well, that whole trip was a surprise
+to me.
+
+“When Laban Thorp set out to thrash his son and the boy licked him
+instead, they found the old man settin' in the barnyard, holdin' on to
+his nose and grinnin' for pure joy.
+
+“'Hurt?' says he. 'Why, some. But think of it! Only think of it! I
+didn't believe Bill had it in him.'
+
+“Well, that's the way I felt when Cap'n Jonadab sprung the New York plan
+on to me. I was pretty nigh as much surprised as Labe. The idea of a man
+with a chronic case of lockjaw of the pocketbook, same as Jonadab had
+worried along under ever sence I knew him, suddenly breakin' loose with
+a notion to go to New York on a pleasure cruise! 'Twas too many for me.
+I set and looked at him.
+
+“'Oh, I mean it, Barzilla,' he says. 'I ain't been to New York sence I
+was mate on the Emma Snow, and that was 'way back in the eighties. That
+is, to stop I ain't. That time we went through on the way to Peter T.'s
+weddin' don't count, 'cause we only went in the front door and out the
+back, like Squealer Wixon went through high school. Let's you and me go
+and stay two or three days and have a real high old time,' says he.
+
+“I fetched a long breath. 'Jonadab,' I says, don't scare a feller this
+way; I've got a weak heart. If you're goin' to start in and be divilish
+in your old age, why, do it kind of gradual. Let's go over to the
+billiard room and have a bottle of sass'parilla and a five-cent cigar,
+just to break the ice.'
+
+“But that only made him mad.
+
+“'You talk like a fish,' he says. 'I mean it. Why can't we go? It's
+September, the Old Home House is shut up for the season, you and me's
+done well--fur's profits are concerned--and we ought to have a change,
+anyway. We've got to stay here in Orham all winter.'
+
+“'Have you figgered out how much it's goin' to cost?' I asked him.
+
+“Yes, he had. 'It won't be so awful expensive,' he says. 'I've got some
+stock in the railroad and that'll give me a pass fur's Fall River. And
+we can take a lunch to eat on the boat. And a stateroom's a dollar;
+that's fifty cents apiece. And my daughter's goin' to Denboro on a
+visit next week, so I'd have to pay board if I stayed to home. Come on,
+Barzilla! don't be so tight with your money.'
+
+“So I said I'd go, though I didn't have any pass, nor no daughter to
+feed me free gratis for nothin' when I got back. And when we started,
+on the followin' Monday, nothin' would do but we must be at the depot
+at two o'clock so's not to miss the train, which left at quarter past
+three.
+
+“I didn't sleep much that night on the boat. For one thing, our
+stateroom was a nice lively one, alongside of the paddle box and just
+under the fog whistle; and for another, the supper that Jonadab had
+brought, bein' mainly doughnuts and cheese, wa'n't the best cargo to
+take to bed with you. But it didn't make much diff'rence, 'cause we
+turned out at four, so's to see the scenery and git our money's worth.
+What was left of the doughnuts and cheese we had for breakfast.
+
+“We made the dock on time, and the next thing was to pick out a hotel.
+I was for cruisin' along some of the main streets until we hove in sight
+of a place that looked sociable and not too expensive. But no; Jonadab
+had it all settled for me. We was goin' to the 'Wayfarer's Inn,' a
+boardin' house where he'd put up once when he was mate of the Emma Snow.
+He said 'twas a fine place and you could git as good ham and eggs there
+as a body'd want to eat.
+
+“So we set sail for the 'Wayfarer's,' and of all the times gittin' to a
+place--don't talk! We asked no less than nine policemen and one hundred
+and two other folks, and it cost us thirty cents in car fares, which
+pretty nigh broke Jonadab's heart. However, we found it, finally, 'way
+off amongst a nest of brick houses and peddler carts and children, and
+it wa'n't the 'Wayfarer's Inn' no more, but was down in the shippin'
+list as the 'Golconda House.' Jonadab said the neighborhood had changed
+some sence he was there, but he guessed we'd better chance it, 'cause
+the board was cheap.
+
+“We had a nine-by-ten room up aloft somewheres, and there we set down on
+the edge of the bed and a chair to take account of stock, as you might
+say.
+
+“'Now, I tell you, Jonadab,' says I; 'we don't want to waste no time,
+and we've got the day afore us. What do you say if we cruise along
+the water front for a spell? There's ha'f a dozen Orham folks aboard
+diff'rent steamers that hail from this port, and 'twouldn't be no more'n
+neighborly to call on 'em. There's Silas Baker's boy, Asa--he's with the
+Savannah Line and he'd be mighty glad to see us. And there's--'
+
+“But Jonadab held up his hand. He'd been mysterious as a baker's mince
+pie ever sence we started, hintin' at somethin' he'd got to do when we'd
+got to New York. And now he out with it.
+
+“'Barzilla,' he says, 'I ain't sayin' but what I'd like to go to the
+wharves with you, first rate. And we will go, too. But afore we do
+anything else I've got an errand that must be attended to. 'Twas give
+to me by a dyin' man,' he says, 'and I promised him I'd do it. So that
+comes first of all.'
+
+“He got his wallet out of his inside vest pocket, where it had been
+pinned in tight to keep it safe from robbers, unwound a foot or so of
+leather strap, and dug up a yeller piece of paper that looked old enough
+to be Methusalem's will, pretty nigh.
+
+“'Do you remember Patrick Kelly in Orham?' he asks.
+
+“'Who?' says I. 'Pat Kelly, the Irishman, that lived in the little old
+shack back of your barn? Course I do. But he's been dead for I don't
+know how long.'
+
+“'I know he has. Do you remember his boy Jim that run away from home?'
+
+“'Let's see,' I says. 'Seems to me I do. Freckled, red-headed rooster,
+wa'n't he? And of all the imps of darkness that ever--'
+
+“'S-sh-sh!' he interrupted solemn. 'Don't say that now, Barzilla. Sounds
+kind of irreverent. Well, me and old Pat was pretty friendly, in a way,
+though he did owe me rent. When he was sick with the pleurisy he sends
+for me and he says, “Cap'n 'Wixon,” says he, “you're pretty close with
+the money,” he says--he was kind of out of his head at the time and
+liable to say foolish things--“you're pretty close,” he says, “but
+you're a man of your word. My boy Jimmie, that run away, was the apple
+of my eye.”'
+
+“'That's what he said about his girl Maggie that was took up for
+stealin' Mrs. Elkanah Higgins's spoons,' I says. 'He had a healthy crop
+of apples in HIS orchard.'
+
+“'S-sh-h! DON'T talk so! I feel as if the old man's spirit was with
+us this minute. “He's the apple of my eye,” he says, “and he run away,
+after me latherin' the life out of him with a wagon spoke. 'Twas all
+for his good, but he didn't understand, bein' but a child. And now I've
+heard,” he says, “that he's workin' at 116 East Blank Street in the city
+of New York. Cap'n Wixon, you're a man of money and a travelin' man,” he
+says (I was fishin' in them days). “When you go to New York,” he says,
+“I want you to promise me to go to the address on this paper and hunt
+up Jimmie. Tell him I forgive him for lickin' him,” he says, “and die
+happy. Will you promise me that, Cap'n, on your word as a gentleman?”
+ And I promised him. And he died in less than ten months afterwards, poor
+thing.'
+
+“'But that was sixteen--eighteen--nineteen years ago,' says I. 'And the
+boy run away three years afore that. You've been to New York in the past
+nineteen years, once anyhow.'
+
+“'I know it. But I forgot. I'm ashamed of it, but I forgot. And when
+I was goin' through the things up attic at my daughter's last Friday,
+seein' what I could find for the rummage sale at the church, I come
+across my old writin' desk, and in it was this very piece of paper with
+the address on it just as I wrote it down. And me startin' for New York
+in three days! Barzilla, I swan to man, I believe something SENT me to
+that attic.'
+
+“I knew what sent him there and so did the church folks, judgin' by
+their remarks when the contribution came in. But I was too much set back
+by the whole crazy business to say anything about that.
+
+“'Look here, Jonadab Wixon,' I sings out, 'do you mean to tell me that
+we've got to put in the whole forenoon ransackin' New York to find a boy
+that run off twenty-two years ago?'
+
+“'It won't take the forenoon,' he says. 'I've got the number, ain't I?'
+
+“'Yes, you've got the number where he WAS. If you want to know where I
+think he's likely to be now, I'd try the jail.'
+
+“But he said I was unfeelin' and disobligin' and lots more, so, to cut
+the argument short, I agreed to go. And off we put to hunt up 116
+East Blank Street. And when we located it, after a good hour of askin'
+questions, and payin' car fares and wearin' out shoe leather, 'twas a
+Chinese laundry.
+
+“'Well,' I says, sarcastic, 'here we be. Which one of the heathen do you
+think is Jimmie? If he had an inch or so more of upper lip, I'd gamble
+on that critter with the pink nighty and the baskets on his feet. He has
+a kind of familiar chicken-stealin' look in his eye. Oh, come down on
+the wharves, Jonadab, and be sensible.'
+
+“Would you believe it, he wa'n't satisfied. We must go into the wash
+shop and ask the Chinamen if they knew Jimmie Kelly. So we went in and
+the powwow begun.
+
+“'Twas a mighty unsatisfyin' interview. Jonadab's idea of talkin' to
+furriners is to yell at 'em as if they was stone deef. If they don't
+understand what you say, yell louder. So between his yells and the
+heathen's jabber and grunts the hullabaloo was worse than a cat in a hen
+yard. Folks begun to stop outside the door and listen and grin.
+
+“'What did he say?' asks the Cap'n, turnin' to me.
+
+“'I don't know,' says I, 'but I cal'late he's gettin' ready to send
+a note up to the crazy asylum. Come on out of here afore I go loony
+myself.'
+
+“So he done it, finally, cross as all get out, and swearin' that all
+Chinese was no good and oughtn't to be allowed in this country. But he
+wouldn't give up, not yet. He must scare up some of the neighbors and
+ask them. The fifth man that we asked was an old chap who remembered
+that there used to be a liquor saloon once where the laundry was now.
+But he didn't know who run it or what had become of him.
+
+“'Never mind,' I says. 'You're as warm as you're likely to be this trip.
+A rum shop is just about the place I'd expect that Kelly boy WOULD be
+in. And, if he's like the rest of his relations on his dad's side, he
+drank himself to death years ago. NOW will you head for the Savannah
+Line?'
+
+“Not much, he wouldn't. He had another notion. We'd look in the
+directory. That seemed to have a glimmer of sense somewheres in its
+neighborhood, so we found an apothecary store and the clerk handed us
+out a book once again as big as a church Bible.
+
+“'Kelly,' says Jonadab. 'Yes, here 'tis. Now, “James Kelly.” Land of
+Love! Barzilla, look here.'
+
+“I looked, and there wa'n't no less than a dozen pages of James Kellys
+beginning with fifty James A.'s and endin' with four James Z.'s. The Y
+in 'New York' ought to be a C, judgin' by that directory.
+
+“'Godfrey mighty!' I says. 'This ain't no forenoon's job, Jonadab. If
+you're goin' through that list you'll have to spend the rest of your
+life here. Only, unless you want to be lonesome, you'll have to change
+your name to Kelly.'
+
+“'If I'd only got his middle letter,' says he, mournful, ''twould have
+been easier. He had four middle names, if I remember right--the old man
+was great on names--and 'twas too much trouble to write 'em all down.
+Well, I've done my duty, anyhow. We'll go and call on Ase Baker.'
+
+“But 'twas after eleven o'clock then, and the doughnuts and cheese I
+had for breakfast was beginnin' to feel as if they wanted company. So we
+decided to go back to the Golconda and have some dinner first.
+
+“We had ham and eggs for dinner, some that was left over from the last
+time Jonadab stopped there, I cal'late. Lucky there was hot bread and
+coffee on the bill or we'd never got a square meal. Then we went up to
+our room and the Cap'n laid down on the bed. He was beat out, he said,
+and wanted to rest up a spell afore haulin' anchor for another cruise.”
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XII
+
+A VISION SENT
+
+
+“Where's the arrestin' come in?” demanded Stitt.
+
+“Comes quick now, Bailey. Plenty quick enough for me and Jonadab, I tell
+you that! After we got to our room the Cap'n went to sleep pretty soon
+and I set in the one chair, readin' the newspaper and wishin' I hadn't
+ate so many of the warm bricks that the Golconda folks hoped was
+biscuit. They made me feel like a schooner goin' home in ballast. I
+guess I was drowsin' off myself, but there comes a most unearthly yell
+from the bed and I jumped ha'f out of the chair. There was Jonadab
+settin' up and lookin' wild.
+
+“'What in the world?' says I.
+
+“'Oh! Ugh! My soul!' says he.
+
+“'Your soul, hey?' says I. 'Is that all? I thought mebbe you'd lost a
+quarter.'
+
+“'Barzilla,' he says, comin' to and starin' at me solemn, 'Barzilla,
+I've had a dream--a wonderful dream.'
+
+“'Well,' I says, 'I ain't surprised. A feller that h'isted in as much
+fried dough as you did ought to expect--'
+
+“'But I tell you 'twas a WONDERFUL dream,' he says. 'I dreamed I was on
+Blank Street, where we was this mornin', and Patrick Kelly comes to me
+and p'ints his finger right in my face. I see him as plain as I see
+you now. And he says to me--he said it over and over, two or three
+times--Seventeen,” says he, “Seventeen.” Now what do you think of that?'
+
+“'Humph!' I says. 'I ain't surprised. I think 'twas just seventeen
+of them biscuits that you got away with. Wonder to me you didn't see
+somebody worse'n old Pat.'
+
+“But he was past jokin'. You never see a man so shook up by the
+nightmare as he was by that one. He kept goin' over it and tellin' how
+natural old Kelly looked and how many times he said 'Seventeen' to him.
+
+“'Now what did he mean by it?' he says. 'Don't tell me that was a common
+dream, 'cause twa'n't. No, sir, 'twas a vision sent to me, and I know
+it. But what did he mean?'
+
+“'I think he meant you was seventeen kinds of an idiot,' I snorts,
+disgusted. 'Get up off that bed and stop wavin' your arms, will you?
+He didn't mean for you to turn yourself into a windmill, that's sartin
+sure.'
+
+“Then he hits his knee a slap that sounds like a window blind blowin'
+to. 'I've got it!' he sings out. 'He meant for me to go to number
+seventeen on that street. That's what he meant.'
+
+“I laughed and made fun of him, but I might as well have saved my
+breath. He was sure Pat Kelly's ghost had come hikin' back from the
+hereafter to tell him to go to 17 Blank Street and find his boy. 'Else
+why was he ON Blank Street?' he says. 'You tell me that.'
+
+“I couldn't tell him. It's enough for me to figger out what makes live
+folks act the way they do, let alone dead ones. And Cap'n Jonadab was a
+Spiritu'list on his mother's side. It ended by my agreein' to give the
+Jimmie chase one more try.
+
+“'But it's got to be the last,' I says. 'When you get to number
+seventeen don't you say you think the old man meant to say “seventy” and
+stuttered.'
+
+“Number 17 Blank Street was a little combination fruit and paper store
+run by an Eyetalian with curly hair and the complexion of a molasses
+cooky. His talk sounded as if it had been run through a meat chopper.
+All he could say was, 'Nica grape, genta'men? On'y fifteen cent a pound.
+Nica grape? Nica apple? Nica pear? Nica ploom?'
+
+“'Kelly?' says Jonadab, hollerin' as usual. 'Kelly! d'ye understand?
+K-E-L-Kel L-Y-ly, Kelly. YOU know, KELLY! We want to find him.'
+
+“And just then up steps a feller about six feet high and three foot
+through. He was dressed in checkerboard clothes, some gone to seed, and
+you could hardly see the blue tie he had on for the glass di'mond in
+it. Oh, he was a little wilted now--for the lack of water, I judge--but
+'twas plain that he'd been a sunflower in his time. He'd just come out
+of a liquor store next door to the fruit shop and was wipin' his mouth
+with the back of his hand.
+
+“'What's this I hear?' says he, fetchin' Jonadab a welt on the back like
+a mast goin' by the board. 'Is it me friend Kelly you're lookin' for?'
+
+“I was just goin' to tell him no, not likin' his looks, but Jonadab cut
+in ahead of me, out of breath from the earthquake the feller had landed
+him, but excited as could be.
+
+“'Yes, yes!' says he. 'It's Mr. Kelly we want. Do you know him?'
+
+“'Do I know him? Why, me bucko, 'tis me old college chum he is. Come on
+with me and we'll give him the glad hand.'
+
+“He grabs Jonadab by the arm and starts along the sidewalk, steerin' a
+toler'ble crooked course, but gainin' steady by jerks.
+
+“'I was on me way to Kelly's place now,' says he. 'And here it is. Sure
+didn't I bate the bookies blind on Rosebud but yesterday--or was it the
+day before? I don't know, but come on, me lads, and we'll do him again.'
+
+“He turned in at a little narrer entry-like, and went stumblin' up a
+flight of dirty stairs. I caught hold of Jonadab's coat tails and pulled
+him back.
+
+“'Where you goin', you crazy loon?' I whispered. 'Can't you see he's
+three sheets in the wind? And you haven't told him what Kelly you want,
+nor nothin'.'
+
+“But I might as well have hollered at a stone wall. 'I don't care if
+he's as fur gone in liquor as Belshazzer's goat,' sputters the Cap'n,
+all worked up. 'He's takin' us to a Kelly, ain't he? And is it likely
+there'd be another one within three doors of the number I dreamed
+about? Didn't I tell you that dream was a vision sent? Don't lay to NOW,
+Barzilla, for the land sakes! It's Providence a-workin'.'
+
+“'Cording to my notion the sunflower looked more like an agent from
+t'other end of the line than one from Providence, but just then he
+commenced to yell for us and upstairs we went, Jonadab first.
+
+“'Whisht!' says the checkerboard, holdin' on to Jonadab's collar and
+swingin' back and forth. 'Before we proceed to blow in on me friend
+Kelly, let us come to an understandin' concernin' and touchin'
+on--and--and--I don't know. But b'ys,' says he, solemn and confidential,
+'are you on the square? Are yez dead game sports, hey?'
+
+“'Yes, yes!' says Jonadab. 'Course we be. Mr. Kelly and us are old
+friends. We've come I don't know how fur on purpose to see him. Now
+where's--'
+
+“'Say no more,' hollers the feller. 'Say no more. Come on with yez.' And
+he marches down the dark hall to a door with a 'To let' sign on it and
+fetches it a bang with his fist. It opens a little ways and a face shows
+in the crack.
+
+“'Hello, Frank!' hails the sunflower, cheerful. 'Will you take that ugly
+mug of yours out of the gate and lave me friends in?'
+
+“'What's the matter wid you, Mike?' asks the chap at the door. 'Yer
+can't bring them two yaps in here and you know it. Gwan out of this.'
+
+“He tried to shut the door, but the checkerboard had his foot between it
+and the jamb. You might as well have tried to shove in the broadside of
+an ocean liner as to push against that foot.
+
+“'These gents are friends of mine,' says he. 'Frank, I'll do yez the
+honor of an introduction to Gin'ral Grant and Dan'l O'Connell. Open that
+door and compose your face before I'm obliged to break both of 'em.'
+
+“'But I tell you, Mike, I can't,' says the door man, lookin' scared.
+'The boss is out, and you know--'
+
+“'WILL you open that door?' roars the big chap. And with that he hove
+his shoulder against the panels and jammed the door open by main force,
+all but flattenin' the other feller behind it. 'Walk in, Gin'ral,' he
+says to Jonadab, and in we went, me wonderin' what was comin' next, and
+not darin' to guess.
+
+“There was a kind of partitioned off hallway inside, with another door
+in the partition. We opened that, and there was a good-sized room,
+filled with men, smokin' and standin' around. A high board fence was
+acrost one end of the room, and from behind it comes a jinglin' of
+telephone bells and the sounds of talk. The floor was covered with
+torn papers, the window blinds was shut, the gas was burnin' blue, and,
+between it and the smoke, the smells was as various as them in a fish
+glue factory. On the fence was a couple of blackboards with 'Belmont'
+and 'Brighton' and suchlike names in chalk wrote on 'em, and
+beneath that a whole mess in writin' and figures like, 'Red Tail
+4--Wt--108--Jock Smith--5--1,' 'Sourcrout 5--Wt--99--Jock Jones--20--5,'
+and similar rubbish. And the gang--a mighty mixed lot--was scribblin'
+in little books and watchin' each other as if they was afraid of havin'
+their pockets picked; though, to look at 'em, you'd have guessed the
+biggest part had nothin' in their pockets but holes.
+
+“The six-foot checkerboard--who, it turned out, answered to the hail of
+'Mike'--seemed to be right at home with the gang. He called most of 'em
+by their first names and went sasshayin' around, weltin' 'em on the back
+and tellin' 'em how he'd 'put crimps in the bookies rolls t'other day,'
+and a lot more stuff that they seemed to understand, but was hog Greek
+to me and Jonadab. He'd forgot us altogether which was a mercy the way I
+looked at it, and I steered the Cap'n over into a corner and we come to
+anchor on a couple of rickety chairs.
+
+“'What--why--what kind of a place IS this, Barzilla?' whispers Jonadab,
+scared.
+
+“'Sh-h-h!' says I. 'Land knows. Just set quiet and hang on to your
+watch.'
+
+“'But--but I want to find Kelly,' says he.
+
+“'I'd give somethin' to find a back door,' says I. 'Ain't this a
+collection of dock rats though! If this is a part of your dream,
+Jonadab, I wish you'd turn over and wake up. Oh land! here's one
+murderer headin' this way. Keep your change in your fist and keep the
+fist shut.'
+
+“A more'n average rusty peep, with a rubber collar on and no necktie,
+comes slinkin' over to us. He had a smile like a crack in a plate.
+
+“'Say, gents,' he says, 'have you made your bets yet? I've got a dead
+straight line on the handicap,' says he, 'and I'll put you next for a
+one spot. It's a sure t'ing at fifteen to three. What do you say?'
+
+“I didn't say nuthin'; but that fool dream was rattlin' round in
+Jonadab's skull like a bean in a blowgun, and he sees a chance for a
+shot.
+
+“'See here, mister,' he says. 'Can you tell me where to locate Mr.
+Kelly?'
+
+“'Who--Pete?' says the feller. 'Oh, he ain't in just now. But about that
+handicap. I like the looks of youse and I'll let youse in for a dollar.
+Or, seein' it's you, we'll say a half. Only fifty cents. I wouldn't do
+better for my own old man,' he says.
+
+“While the Cap'n was tryin' to unravel one end of this gibberish I spoke
+up prompt.
+
+“'Say,' says I, 'tell me this, will you? Is the Kelly who owns
+this--this palace, named Jimmie--James, I mean?'
+
+“'Naw,' says he. 'Sure he ain't. It's Pete Kelly, of course--Silver
+Pete. But what are you givin' us? Are you bettin' on the race, or ain't
+you?'
+
+“Well, Jonadab understood that. He bristled up like a brindled cat.
+If there's any one thing the Cap'n is down on, it's gamblin' and
+such--always exceptin' when he knows he's won already. You've seen that
+kind, maybe.
+
+“'Young feller,' he says, perkish, 'I want you to know that me and my
+friend ain't the bettin' kind. What sort of a hole IS this, anyway?'
+
+“The rubber collared critter backed off, lookin' worried. He goes acrost
+the room, and I see him talkin' to two or three other thieves as tough
+as himself. And they commenced to stare at us and scowl.
+
+“'Come on,' I whispered to Jonadab. 'Let's get out of this place while
+we can. There ain't no Jimmie Kelly here, or if there is you don't want
+to find him.'
+
+“He was as willin' to make tracks as I was, by this time, and we headed
+for the door in the partition. But Rubber Collar and some of the others
+got acrost our bows.
+
+“'Cut it out,' says one of 'em. 'You can't get away so easy. Hi, Frank!
+Frank! Who let these turnip pullers in here, anyhow? Who are they?'
+
+“The chap who was tendin' door comes out of his coop. 'You've got me,'
+he says. 'They come in with Big Mike, and he was loaded and scrappy and
+jammed 'em through. Said they was pals of his. Where is he?'
+
+“There was a hunt for Mike, and, when they got his bearin's, there
+he was keeled over on a bench, breathin' like an escape valve. And an
+admiral's salute wouldn't have woke him up. The whole crew was round us
+by this time, some ugly, and the rest laffin' and carryin' on.
+
+“'It's the Barkwurst gang,' says one.
+
+“'It's old Bark himself,' says another. 'Look at them lace curtains.'
+And he points to Jonadab's whiskers.
+
+“'This one's Jacobs in disguise,' sings out somebody else. 'You can tell
+him by the Rube get-up. Haw! haw!'
+
+“'Soak 'em! Do 'em up! Don't let 'em out!' hollers a ha'f dozen more.
+
+“Jonadab was game; I'll say that for him. And I hadn't been second mate
+in my time for nothin'.
+
+“'Take your hands off me!' yells the Cap'n. 'I come in here to find
+a man I'm lookin' for, James Kelly it was, and--You would, would you!
+Stand by, Barzilla!'
+
+“I stood by. Rubber Collar got one from me that made him remember home
+and mother, I'll bet. Anyhow, my knuckles ached for two days afterwards.
+And Jonadab was just as busy. But I cal'late we'd have been ready for
+the oven in another five minutes if the door hadn't bu'st open with a
+bang, and a loud dressed chap, with the sweat pourin' down his face,
+come tearin' in.
+
+“'Beat it, fellers!' he yells. 'The place is goin' to be pinched. I've
+just had the tip, and they're right on top of me.'
+
+“THEN there was times. Everybody was shoutin' and swearin' and fallin'
+over each other to get out. I was kind of lost in the shuffle, and
+the next thing I remember for sartin is settin' up on Rubber Collar's
+stomach and lookin' foggy at the door, where the loud dressed man was
+wrestlin' with a policeman. And there was police at the windows and all
+around.
+
+“Well, don't talk! I got up, resurrects Jonadab from under a heap of
+gamblers and furniture, and makes for harbor in our old corner. The
+police was mighty busy, especially a fat, round-faced, red-mustached
+man, with gold bands on his cap and arms, that the rest called 'Cap'n.'
+Him and the loud dressed chap who'd give the alarm was talkin' earnest
+close to us.
+
+“'I can't help it, Pete,' says the police cap'n. ''Twas me or the Vice
+Suppression crowd. They've been on to you for two weeks back. I only
+just got in ahead of 'em as it was. No, you'll have to go along with
+the rest and take your chances. Quiet now, everybody, or you'll get it
+harder,' he roars, givin' orders like the skipper of a passenger boat.
+'Stand in line and wait your turns for the wagon.'
+
+“Jonadab grabbed me by the wrist. He was pale and shakin' all over.
+
+“'Oh, Lordy!' says he, 'we're took up. Will we have to go to jail, do
+you think?'
+
+“'I don't know,' I says, disgusted. 'I presume likely we will. Did you
+dream anything like this? You'd better see if you can't dream yourself
+out now.' Twas rubbin' it in, but I was mad.
+
+“'Oh! oh!' says he, flappin' his hands. 'And me a deacon of the church!
+Will folks know it, do you think?'
+
+“'Will they know it! Sounds as if they knew it already. Just listen to
+that.'
+
+“The first wagon full of prizes was bein' loaded in down at the front
+door, and the crowd outside was cheerin' 'em. Judgin' by the whoops and
+hurrahs there wa'n't no less than a million folks at the show, and they
+was gettin' the wuth of admission.
+
+“'Oh, dear!' groans Jonadab. 'And it'll be in the papers and all! I
+can't stand this.'
+
+“And afore I could stop him he'd run over and tackled the head
+policeman.
+
+“'Mister--Mister Cap'n,' he says, pantin', 'there's been a mistake, an
+awful mis--take--'
+
+“'That's right,' says the police cap'n, 'there has. Six or eight of you
+tin horns got clear. But--' Then he noticed who was speakin' to him
+and his mouth dropped open like a hatch. 'Well, saints above!' he says.
+'Have the up-state delegates got to buckin' the ponies, too? Why ain't
+you back home killin' pertater bugs? You ought to be ashamed.'
+
+“'But we wa'n't gamblin'--me and my friend wa'n't. We was led in here
+by mistake. We was told that a feller named Kelly lived here and we're
+huntin' for a man of that name. I've got a message to him from his poor
+dead father back in Orham. We come all the way from Orham, Mass.--to
+find him and--'
+
+“The police cap'n turned around then and stared at him hard. 'Humph!'
+says he, after a spell. 'Go over there and set down till I want you. No,
+you'll go now and we'll waste no breath on it. Go on, do you hear!'
+
+“So we went, and there we set for ha'f an hour, while the rest of the
+gang and the blackboards and the paper slips and the telephones and Big
+Mike and his chair was bein' carted off to the wagon. Once, when one of
+the constables was beatin' acrost to get us, the police cap'n spoke to
+him.
+
+“'You can leave these two,' he says. 'I'll take care of them.'
+
+“So, finally, when there was nothin' left but the four walls and us and
+some of the police, he takes me and Jonadab by the elbows and heads for
+the door.
+
+“'Now,' says he, 'walk along quiet and peaceable and tell me all about
+it. Get out of this!' he shouts to the crowd of small boys and loafers
+on the sidewalk, 'or I'll take you, too.'
+
+“The outsiders fell astern, lookin' heartbroke and disapp'inted that we
+wa'n't hung on the spot, and the fat boss policeman and us two paraded
+along slow but grand. I felt like the feller that was caught robbin'
+the poorhouse, and I cal'late Jonadab felt the same, only he was so
+busy beggin' and pleadin' and explainin' that he couldn't stop to feel
+anything.
+
+“He told it all, the whole fool yarn from one end to t'other. How old
+Pat give him the message and how he went to the laundry, and about his
+ridiculous dream, every word. And the fat policeman shook all over, like
+a barrel of cod livers.
+
+“By and by we got to a corner of a street and hove to. I could see
+the station house loomin' up large ahead. Fatty took a card from his
+pocketbook, wrote on it with a pencil, and then hailed a hack, one of
+them stern-first kind where the driver sits up aloft 'way aft. He pushed
+back the cap with the gilt wreath on it, and I could see his red hair
+shinin' like a sunset.
+
+“'Here,' says he to the hack driver, 'take these--this pair of salads
+to the--what d'ye call it?--the Golconda House, wherever on top of the
+pavement that is. And mind you, deliver 'em safe and don't let the truck
+horses get a bite at 'em. And at half-past eight to-night you call for
+'em and bring 'em here,' handin' up the card he'd written on.
+
+“''Tis the address of my house, I'm givin',' he says, turnin' to
+Jonadab. 'I'll be off duty then and we'll have dinner and talk about old
+times. To think of you landin' in Silver Pete's pool room! Dear! dear!
+Why, Cap'n Wixon, barrin' that your whiskers are a bit longer and a
+taste grayer, I'd 'a' known you anywheres. Many's the time I've stole
+apples over your back fence. I'm Jimmie Kelly,' says he.”
+
+“Well, by mighty!” exclaimed the depot master, slapping his knee. “So HE
+was the Kelly man! Humph!”
+
+“Funny how it turned out, wa'n't it?” said Barzilla. “Course, Cap'n
+Jonadab was perfectly sat on spiritu'lism and signs and omens and such
+after that. He's had his fortune told no less'n eight times sence, and,
+nigh's I can find out, each time it's different. The amount of blondes
+and brunettes and widows and old maids that he's slated to marry,
+accordin' to them fortune tellers, is perfectly scandalous. If he lives
+up to the prophecies, Brigham Young wouldn't be a twospot 'longside of
+him.”
+
+“It's funny about dreams,” mused Captain Hiram. “Folks are always
+tellin' about their comin' true, but none of mine ever did. I used to
+dream I was goin' to be drowned, but I ain't been yet.”
+
+The depot master laughed. “Well,” he observed, “once, when I was a
+youngster, I dreamed two nights runnin' that I was bein' hung. I asked
+my Sunday school teacher if he believed dreams come true, and he said
+yes, sometimes. Then I told him my dream, and he said he believed in
+that one. I judged that any other finish for me would have surprised
+him. But, somehow or other, they haven't hung me yet.”
+
+“There was a hired girl over at the Old Home House who was sat on
+fortune tellin',” said Wingate. “Her name was Effie, and--”
+
+“Look here!” broke in Captain Bailey Stitt, righteous indignation in his
+tone, “I've started no less than nineteen different times to tell you
+about how I went sailin' in an automobile. Now do you want to hear it,
+or don't you?”
+
+“How you went SAILIN' in an auto?” repeated Barzilla. “Went ridin', you
+mean.”
+
+“I mean sailin'. I went ridin', too, but--”
+
+“You'll have to excuse me, Bailey,” interrupted Captain Hiram, rising
+and looking at his watch. “I've stayed here a good deal longer'n I
+ought to, already. I must be gettin' on home to see how poor little
+Dusenberry, my boy, is feelin'. I do hope he's better by now. I wish Dr.
+Parker hadn't gone out of town.”
+
+The depot master rose also. “And I'll have to be excused, too,” he
+declared. “It's most time for the up train. Good-by, Hiram. Give my
+regards to Sophrony, and if there's anything I can do to help, in case
+your baby should be sick, just sing out, won't you?”
+
+“But I want to tell about this automobilin' scrape,” protested Captain
+Bailey. “It was one of them things that don't happen every day.”
+
+“So was that fortune business of Effie's,” declared Wingate. “Honest,
+the way it worked out was queer enough.”
+
+But the train whistled just then and the group broke up. Captain Sol
+went out to the platform, where Cornelius Rowe, Ed Crocker, Beriah
+Higgins, Obed Gott, and other interested citizens had already assembled.
+Wingate and Stitt followed. As for Captain Hiram Baker, he hurried home,
+his conscience reproving him for remaining so long away from his wife
+and poor little Hiram Joash, more familiarly known as “Dusenberry.”
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIII
+
+DUSENBERRY'S BIRTHDAY
+
+
+Mrs. Baker met her husband at the door.
+
+“How is he?” was the Captain's first question. “Better, hey?”
+
+“No,” was the nervous answer. “No, I don't think he is. His throat's
+terrible sore and the fever's just as bad.”
+
+Again Captain Hiram's conscience smote him.
+
+“Dear! dear!” he exclaimed. “And I've been loafin' around the depot
+with Sol Berry and the rest of 'em instead of stayin' home with you,
+Sophrony. I KNEW I was doin' wrong, but I didn't realize--”
+
+“Course you didn't, Hiram. I'm glad you got a few minutes' rest, after
+bein' up with him half the night. I do wish the doctor was home, though.
+When will he be back?”
+
+“Not until late to-morrer, if then. Did you keep on givin' the
+medicine?”
+
+“Yes, but it don't seem to do much good. You go and set with him now,
+Hiram. I must be seein' about supper.”
+
+So into the sick room went Captain Hiram to sit beside the crib and
+sing “Sailor boy, sailor boy, 'neath the wild billow,” as a lugubrious
+lullaby.
+
+Little Hiram Joash tossed and tumbled. He was in a fitful slumber when
+Mrs. Baker called her husband to supper. The meal was anything but
+a cheerful one. They talked but little. Over the home, ordinarily so
+cheerful, had settled a gloom that weighed upon them.
+
+“My! my!” sighed Captain Hiram, “how lonesome it seems without him
+chatterin' and racketin' sound. Seems darker'n usual, as if there was a
+shadow on the place.”
+
+“Hush, Hiram! don't talk that way. A shadow! Oh, WHAT made you say that?
+Sounds like a warnin', almost.”
+
+“Warnin'?”
+
+“Yes, a forewarnin', you know. 'The valley of the shadow--'”
+
+“HUSH!” Captain Baker's face paled under its sunburn. “Don't say such
+things, Sophrony. If that happened, the Lord help you and me. But it
+won't--it won't. We're nervous, that's all. We're always so careful of
+Dusenberry, as if he was made out of thin china, that we get fidgety
+when there's no need of it. We mustn't be foolish.”
+
+After supper Mrs. Baker tiptoed into the bedroom. She emerged with a
+very white face.
+
+“Hiram,” she whispered, “he acts dreadful queer. Come in and see him.”
+
+The “first mate” was tossing back and forth in the crib, making odd
+little choky noises in his swollen throat. When his father entered he
+opened his eyes, stared unmeaningly, and said: “'Tand by to det der ship
+under way.”
+
+“Good Lord! he's out of his head,” gasped the Captain. Sophronia and he
+stepped back into the sitting room and looked at each other, the same
+thought expressed in the face of each. Neither spoke for a moment, then
+Captain Hiram said:
+
+“Now don't you worry, Sophrony. The Doctor ain't home, but I'm goin' out
+to--to telegraph him, or somethin'. Keep a stiff upper lip. It'll be all
+right. God couldn't go back on you and me that way. He just couldn't.
+I'll be back in a little while.”
+
+“But, oh, Hiram! if he should--if he SHOULD be taken away, what WOULD we
+do?”
+
+She began to cry. Her husband laid a trembling hand on her shoulder.
+
+“But he won't,” he declared stoutly. “I tell you God wouldn't do such a
+thing. Good-by, old lady. I'll hurry fast as I can.”
+
+As he took up his cap and turned to the door he heard the voice of the
+weary little first mate chokily calling his crew to quarters. “All hands
+on deck!”
+
+The telegraph office was in Beriah Higgins's store. Thither ran the
+Captain. Pat Sharkey, Mr. Higgins's Irish helper, who acted as telegraph
+operator during Gertie Higgins's absence, gave Captain Hiram little
+satisfaction.
+
+“How can I get Dr. Parker?” asked Pat. “He's off on a cruise and land
+knows where I can reach him to-night. I'll do what I can, Cap, but it's
+ten chances out of nine against a wire gettin' to him.”
+
+Captain Hiram left the store, dodging questioners who were anxious to
+know what his trouble might be, and dazedly crossed Main Street, to the
+railway station. He thought of asking advice of his friend, the depot
+master.
+
+The evening train from Boston pulled out as he passed through the
+waiting room. One or two passengers were standing on the platform. One
+of these was a short, square-shouldered man with gray side whiskers and
+eyeglasses. The initials on his suit case were J. S. M., Boston, and
+they stood for John Spencer Morgan. If the bearer of the suit case had
+followed the fashion of the native princes of India and had emblazoned
+his titles upon his baggage, the commonplace name just quoted might have
+been followed by “M.D., LL.D., at Harvard and Oxford; vice president
+American Medical Society; corresponding secretary Associated Society of
+Surgeons; lecturer at Harvard Medical College; author of 'Diseases of
+the Throat and Lungs,' etc., etc.”
+
+But Dr. Morgan was not given to advertising either his titles or
+himself, and he was hurrying across the platform to Redny Blount's depot
+wagon when Captain Hiram touched him on the arm.
+
+“Why, hello, Captain Baker,” exclaimed the Doctor, “how do you do?”
+
+“Dr. Morgan,” said the Captain, “I--I hope you'll excuse my presumin' on
+you this way, but I want to ask a favor of you, a great favor. I want to
+ask if you'll come down to the house and see the boy; he's on the sick
+list.”
+
+“What, Dusenberry?”
+
+“Yes, sir. He's pretty bad, I'm 'fraid, and the old lady's considerable
+upsot about him. If you just come down and kind of take an observation,
+so's we could sort of get our bearin's, as you might say, 'twould be a
+mighty help to all hands.”
+
+“But where's your town physician? Hasn't he been called?”
+
+The Captain explained. He had inquired, and he had telegraphed, but
+could get no word of Dr. Parker's whereabouts.
+
+The great Boston specialist listened to Captain Hiram's story in an
+absent-minded way. Holidays were few and far between with him, and when
+he accepted the long-standing invitation of Mr. Ogden Williams to run
+down for the week end he determined to forget the science of medicine
+and all that pertained to it for the four days of his outing. But an
+exacting patient had detained him long enough to prevent his taking the
+train that morning, and now, on the moment of his belated arrival, he
+was asked to pay a professional call. He liked the Captain, who had
+taken him out fishing several times on his previous excursions to East
+Harniss, and he remembered Dusenberry as a happy little sea urchin, but
+he simply couldn't interrupt his pleasure trip to visit a sick baby.
+Besides, the child was Dr. Parker's patient, and professional ethics
+forbade interference.
+
+“Captain Hiram,” he said, “I am sorry to disappoint you, but it will
+be impossible for me to do what you ask. Mr. Williams expected me this
+morning, and I am late already. Dr. Parker will, no doubt, return soon.
+The baby cannot be dangerously ill or he would not have left him.”
+
+The Captain slowly turned away.
+
+“Thank you, Doctor,” he said huskily. “I knew I hadn't no right to ask.”
+
+He walked across the platform, abstractedly striking his right hand into
+his left. When he reached the ticket window he put one hand against the
+frame as if to steady himself, and stood there listlessly.
+
+The enterprising Mr. Blount had been hanging about the Doctor like a cat
+about the cream pitcher; now he rushed up, grasped the suit case, and
+officiously led the way toward the depot wagon. Dr. Morgan followed more
+slowly. As he passed the Captain he glanced up into the latter's face,
+lighted, as it was, by the lamp inside the window.
+
+The Doctor stopped and looked again. Then he took another step forward,
+hesitated, turned on his heel, and said:
+
+“Wait a moment, Blount. Captain Hiram, do you live far from here?”
+
+The Captain started. “No, sir, only a little ways.”
+
+“All right. I'll go down and look at this boy of yours. Mind you, I'll
+not take the case, simply give my opinion on it, that's all. Blount,
+take my grip to Mr. Williams's. I'm going to walk down with the
+Captain.”
+
+
+“Haul on ee bowline, ee bowline, haul!” muttered the first mate, as they
+came into the room. The lamp that Sophronia was holding shook, and the
+Captain hurriedly brushed his eyes with the back of his hand.
+
+Dr. Morgan started perceptibly as he bent forward to look at the little
+fevered face of Dusenberry. Graver and graver he became as he felt the
+pulse and peered into the swollen throat. At length he rose and led the
+way back into the sitting room.
+
+“Captain Baker,” he said simply, “I must ask you and your wife to be
+brave. The child has diphtheria and--”
+
+“Diphthery!” gasped Sophronia, as white as her best tablecloth.
+
+“Good Lord above!” cried the Captain.
+
+“Diphtheria,” repeated the Doctor; “and, although I dislike extremely to
+criticize a member of my own profession, I must say that any physician
+should have recognized it.”
+
+Sophronia groaned and covered her face with her apron.
+
+“Ain't there--ain't there no chance, Doctor?” gasped the Captain.
+
+“Certainly, there's a chance. If I could administer antitoxin by
+to-morrow noon the patient might recover. What time does the morning
+train from Boston arrive here?”
+
+“Ha'f-past ten or thereabouts.”
+
+Dr. Morgan took his notebook from his pocket and wrote a few lines in
+pencil on one of the pages. Then he tore out the leaf and handed it to
+the Captain.
+
+“Send that telegram immediately to my assistant in Boston,” he said.
+“It directs him to send the antitoxin by the early train. If nothing
+interferes it should be here in time.”
+
+Captain Hiram took the slip of paper and ran out at the door bareheaded.
+
+Dr. Morgan stood in the middle of the floor absent-mindedly looking at
+his watch. Sophronia was gazing at him appealingly. At length he put his
+watch in his pocket and said quietly:
+
+“Mrs. Baker, I must ask you to give me a room. I will take the case.”
+ Then he added mentally: “And that settles my vacation.”
+
+
+Dr. Morgan's assistant was a young man whom nature had supplied with a
+prematurely bald head, a flourishing beard, and a way of appearing ten
+years older than he really was. To these gifts, priceless to a young
+medical man, might be added boundless ambition and considerable common
+sense.
+
+The yellow envelope which contained the few lines meaning life or death
+to little Hiram Joash Baker was delivered at Dr. Morgan's Back Bay
+office at ten minutes past ten. Dr. Payson--that was the assistant's
+name--was out, but Jackson, the colored butler, took the telegram
+into his employer's office, laid it on the desk among the papers, and
+returned to the hall to finish his nap in the armchair. When Dr. Payson
+came in, at 11:30, the sleepy Jackson forgot to mention the dispatch.
+
+The next morning as Jackson was cleaning the professional boots in the
+kitchen and chatting with the cook, the thought of the yellow envelope
+came back to his brain. He went up the stairs with such precipitation
+that the cook screamed, thinking he had a fit.
+
+“Doctah! Doctah!” he exclaimed, opening the door of the assistant's
+chamber, “did you git dat telegraft I lef' on your desk las' night?”
+
+“What telegraph?” asked the assistant sleepily. By way of answer Jackson
+hurried out and returned with the yellow envelope. The assistant opened
+it and read as follows:
+
+
+Send 1,500 units Diphtheritic Serum to me by morning train. Don't fail.
+Utmost importance.
+
+J. S. MORGAN.
+
+
+Dr. Payson sprang out of bed, and running to the table took up the
+Railway Guide, turned to the pages devoted to the O. C. and C. C.
+Railroad and ran his finger down the printed tables. The morning train
+for Cape Cod left at 7:10. It was 6:45 at that moment. As has been said,
+the assistant had considerable common sense. He proved this by wasting
+no time in telling the forgetful Jackson what he thought of him. He sent
+the latter after a cab and proceeded to dress in double-quick time. Ten
+minutes later he was on his way to the station with the little wooden
+case containing the precious antitoxin, wrapped and addressed, in his
+pocket.
+
+It was seven by the Arlington Street Church clock as the cab rattled
+down Boylston Street. A tangle of a trolley car and a market wagon
+delayed it momentarily at Harrison Avenue and Essex Street. Dr. Payson,
+leaning out as the carriage swung into Dewey Square, saw by the big
+clock on the Union Station that it was 7:13. He had lost the train.
+
+Now, the assistant had been assistant long enough to know that
+excuses--in the ordinary sense of the word--did not pass current with
+Dr. Morgan. That gentleman had telegraphed for antitoxin, and said it
+was important that he should have it; therefore, antitoxin must be sent
+in spite of time-tables and forgetful butlers. Dr. Payson went into the
+waiting room and sat down to think. After a moment's deliberation he
+went over to the ticket office and asked:
+
+“What is the first stop of the Cape Cod express?”
+
+“Brockboro,” answered the ticket seller.
+
+“Is the train usually on time?”
+
+“Well, I should smile. That's Charlie Mills's train, and the old man
+ain't been conductor on this road twenty-two years for nothin'.”
+
+“Mills? Does he live on Shawmut Avenue?”
+
+“Dunno. Billy, where does Charlie Mills live?”
+
+“Somewhere at the South End. Shawmut Avenue, I think.”
+
+“Thank you,” said the assistant, and, helping himself to a time-table,
+he went back rejoicing to his seat in the waiting room. He had stumbled
+upon an unexpected bit of luck.
+
+There might be another story written in connection with this one; the
+story of a veteran railroad man whose daughter had been very, very ill
+with a dreaded disease of the lungs, and who, when other physicians
+had given up hope, had been brought back to health by a celebrated
+specialist of our acquaintance. But this story cannot be told just now;
+suffice it to say that Conductor Charlie Mills had vowed that he would
+put his neck beneath the wheels of his own express train, if by so doing
+he could confer a favor on Dr. John Spencer Morgan.
+
+The assistant saw by his time-table that the Cape Cod express reached
+Brockboro at 8:05. He went over to the telegraph office and wrote two
+telegrams. The first read like this:
+
+
+CALVIN S. WISE, The People's Drug Store, 28 Broad Street, Brockboro,
+Mass.:
+
+Send package 1,500 units Diphtheritic Serum marked with my name to
+station. Hand to Conductor Mills, Cape Cod express. Train will wait.
+Matter life and death.
+
+
+The second telegram was to Conductor Mills. It read:
+
+
+Hold train Brockboro to await arrival C. A. Wise. Great personal favor.
+Very important.
+
+
+Both of these dispatches were signed with the magic name, “J. S. Morgan,
+M.D.”
+
+“Well,” said the assistant as he rode back to his office, “I don't know
+whether Wise will get the stuff to the train in time, or whether Mills
+will wait for him, but at any rate I've done my part. I hope breakfast
+is ready, I'm hungry.”
+
+Mr. Wise, of “The People's Drug Store,” had exactly two minutes in which
+to cover the three-quarters of a mile to the station. As a matter of
+course, he was late. Inquiring for Conductor Mills, he was met by a
+red-faced man in uniform, who, watch in hand, demanded what in the vale
+of eternal torment he meant by keeping him waiting eight minutes.
+
+“Do you realize,” demanded the red-faced man, “that I'm liable to lose
+my job? I'll have you to understand that if any other man than Doc.
+Morgan asked me to hold up the Cape Cod express, I'd tell him to go
+right plumb to--”
+
+Here Mr. Wise interrupted to hand over the package and explain that it
+was a matter of life and death. Conductor Mills only grunted as he swung
+aboard the train.
+
+“Hump her, Jim,” he said to the engineer; “she's got to make up those
+eight minutes.”
+
+And Jim did.
+
+
+And so it happened that on the morning of the Fourth of July,
+Dusenberry's birthday, Captain Hiram Baker and his wife sat together in
+the sitting room, with very happy faces. The Captain had in his hands
+the “truly boat with sails,” which the little first mate had so ardently
+wished for.
+
+She was a wonder, that boat. Red hull, real lead on the keel, brass
+rings on the masts, reef points on the main and fore sail, jib,
+flying jib and topsails, all complete. And on the stern was the name,
+“Dusenberry. East Harniss.”
+
+Captain Hiram set her down in front of him on the floor.
+
+“Gee!” he exclaimed, “won't his eyes stick out when he sees that
+rig, hey? Wisht he would be well enough to see it to-day, same as we
+planned.”
+
+“Well, Hiram,” said Sophrony, “we hadn't ought to complain. We'd ought
+to be thankful he's goin' to get well at all. Dr. Morgan says, thanks to
+that blessed toxing stuff, he'll be up and around in a couple of weeks.”
+
+“Sophrony,” said her husband, “we'll have a special birthday celebration
+for him when he gets all well. You can bake the frosted cake and we'll
+have some of the other children in. I TOLD you God wouldn't be cruel
+enough to take him away.”
+
+And this is how Fate and the medical profession and the O. C. and C.
+C. Railroad combined to give little Hiram Joash Baker his birthday, and
+explains why, as he strolled down Main Street that afternoon, Captain
+Hiram was heard to sing heartily:
+
+     Haul on the bowline, the 'Phrony is a-rollin',
+     Haul on the bowline, the bowline, HAUL!
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIV
+
+EFFIE'S FATE
+
+
+Surely, but very, very slowly, the little Berry house moved on its
+rollers up the Hill Boulevard. Right at its heels--if a house may be
+said to have heels--came the “pure Colonial,” under the guidance of the
+foreman with “progressive methods.” Groups of idlers, male and female,
+stood about and commented. Simeon Phinney smilingly replied to their
+questions. Captain Sol himself seemed little interested. He spent most
+of his daylight time at the depot, only going to the Higginses' house
+for his meals. At night, after the station was closed, he sought his own
+dwelling, climbed over the joist and rollers, entered, retired to his
+room, and went to bed.
+
+Each day also he grew more taciturn. Even with Simeon, his particular
+friend, he talked little.
+
+“What IS the matter with you, Sol?” asked Mr. Phinney. “You're as glum
+as a tongue-tied parrot. Ain't you satisfied with the way I'm doin' your
+movin'? The white horse can go back again if you say so.”
+
+“I'm satisfied,” grunted the depot master. “Let you know when I've
+got any fault to find. How soon will you get abreast the--abreast the
+Seabury lot?”
+
+“Let's see,” mused the building mover. “Today's the eighth. Well, I'll
+be there by the eleventh, SURE. Can't drag it out no longer, Sol,
+even if the other horse is took sick. 'Twon't do. Williams has been
+complainin' to the selectmen and they're beginnin' to pester me. As for
+that Colt and Adams foreman--whew!”
+
+He whistled. His companion smiled grimly.
+
+“Williams himself drops in to see me occasional,” he said. “Tells me
+what he thinks of me, with all the trimmin's added. I cal'late he gets
+as good as he sends. I'm always glad to see him; he keeps me cheered up,
+in his way.”
+
+“Ye-es, I shouldn't wonder. Was he in to-day?”
+
+“He was. And somethin' has pleased him, I guess. At any rate he was in
+better spirits. Asked me if I was goin' to move right onto that Main
+Street lot soon as my house got there.”
+
+“What did you say?”
+
+“I said I was cal'latin' to. Told him I hated to get out of the
+high-society circles I'd been livin' in lately, but that everyone had
+their comedowns in this world.”
+
+“Ho, ho! that was a good one. What answer did he make to that?”
+
+“Well, he said the 'high society' would miss me. Then he finished up
+with a piece of advice. 'Berry,' says he, 'don't move onto that lot TOO
+quick. I wouldn't if I was you.' Then he went away, chucklin'.”
+
+“Chucklin', hey? What made him so joyful?”
+
+“Don't know”--Captain Sol's face clouded once more--“and I care less,”
+ he added brusquely.
+
+Simeon pondered. “Have you heard from Abner Payne, Sol?” he asked. “Has
+Ab answered that letter you wrote sayin' you'd swap your lot for the
+Main Street one?”
+
+“No, he hasn't. I wrote him that day I told you to move me.”
+
+“Hum! that's kind of funny. You don't s'pose--”
+
+He stopped, noticing the expression on his friend's face. The depot
+master was looking out through the open door of the waiting room. On
+the opposite side of the road, just emerging from Mr. Higgins's “general
+store,” was Olive Edwards, the widow whose home was to be pulled down
+as soon as the “Colonial” reached its destination. She came out of
+the store and started up Main Street. Suddenly, and as if obeying an
+involuntary impulse, she turned her head. Her eyes met those of Captain
+Sol Berry, the depot master. For a brief instant their glance met, then
+Mrs. Edwards hurried on.
+
+Sim Phinney sighed pityingly. “Looks kind of tired and worried, don't
+she?” he ventured. His friend did not speak.
+
+“I say,” repeated Phinney, “that Olive looks sort of worn out and--”
+
+“Has she heard from the Omaha cousin yet?” interrupted the depot master.
+
+“No; Mr. Hilton says not. Sol, what DO you s'pose--”
+
+But Captain Sol had risen and gone into the ticket office. The door
+closed behind him. Mr. Phinney shook his head and walked out of the
+building. On his way back to the scene of the house moving he shook his
+head several times.
+
+On the afternoon of the ninth Captain Bailey Stitt and his friend
+Wingate came to say good-by. Stitt was going back to Orham on the “up”
+ train, due at 3:30. Barzilla would return to Wellmouth and the Old Home
+House on the evening (the “down”) train.
+
+“Hey, Sol!” shouted Wingate, as they entered the waiting room. “Sol!
+where be you?”
+
+The depot master came out of the ticket office. “Hello, boys!” he said
+shortly.
+
+“Hello, Sol!” hailed Stitt. “Barzilla and me have come to shed the
+farewell tear. As hirelin's of soulless corporations, meanin' the Old
+Home House at Wellmouth and the Ocean House at Orham, we've engaged all
+the shellfish along-shore and are goin' to clear out.”
+
+“Yes,” chimed in his fellow “hireling,” “and we thought the pleasantest
+place to put in our few remainin' hours--as the papers say when a
+feller's goin' to be hung--was with you.”
+
+“I thought so,” said Captain Bailey, with a wink. “We've been havin'
+more or less of an argument, Sol. Remember how Barzilla made fun of
+Jonadab Wixon for believin' in dreams? Yes, well that was only make
+believe. He believes in 'em himself.”
+
+“I don't either,” declared Wingate. “And I never said so. What I said
+was that sometimes it almost seemed as if there was somethin' IN fortune
+tellin' and such.”
+
+“There is,” chuckled Bailey with another wink at the depot master.
+“There's money in it--for the fortune tellers.”
+
+“I said--and I say again,” protested Barzilla, “that I knew a case at
+our hotel of a servant girl named Effie, and she--”
+
+“Oh, Heavens to Betsy! Here he goes again, I steered him in here on
+purpose, Sol, so's he'd get off that subject.”
+
+“You never neither. You said--”
+
+The depot master held up his hand. “Don't both talk at once,” he
+commanded. “Set down and be peaceful, can't you. That's right. What
+about this Effie, Barzilla?”
+
+“Now look here!” protested Stitt.
+
+“Shut up, Bailey! Who was Effie, Barzilla?”
+
+“She was third assistant roustabout and table girl at the Old Home
+House,” said Wingate triumphantly. “Got another cigar, Sol? Thanks. Yes,
+this Effie had never worked out afore and she was greener'n a mess of
+spinach; but she was kind of pretty to look at and--”
+
+“Ah, ha!” crowed Captain Bailey, “here comes the heart confessions. Want
+to look out for these old bachelors, Sol. Fire away, Barzilla; let us
+know the worst.”
+
+“I took a fancy to her, in a way. She got in the habit of tellin' me her
+troubles and secrets, me bein' old enough to be her dad--”
+
+“Aw, yes!” this from Stitt, the irrepressible. “That's an old gag. We
+know--”
+
+“WILL you shut up?” demanded Captain Sol. “Go on, Barzilla.”
+
+“Me bein' old enough to be her dad,” with a glare at Captain Bailey,
+“and not bein' too proud to talk with hired help. I never did have that
+high-toned notion. 'Twa'n't so long since I was a fo'mast hand.
+
+“So Effie told me a lot about herself. Seems she'd been over to the
+Cattle Show at Ostable one year, and she was loaded to the gunwale with
+some more or less facts that a fortune-tellin' specimen by the name of
+the 'Marvelous Oriental Seer' had handed her in exchange for a quarter.
+
+“'Yup,' says she, bobbin' her head so emphatic that the sky-blue ribbon
+pennants on her black hair flapped like a loose tops'l in a gale of
+wind. 'Yup,' says she, 'I b'lieve it just as much as I b'lieve anything.
+How could I help it when he told me so much that has come true already?
+He said I'd seen trouble, and the dear land knows that's so! and that I
+might see more, and I cal'late that's pretty average likely. And he said
+I hadn't been brought up in luxury--'
+
+“'Which wa'n't no exaggeration neither,' I put in, thinkin' of the shack
+over on the Neck Road where she and her folks used to live.
+
+“'No,' says she; 'and he told me I'd always had longin's for better and
+higher things and that my intellectuals was above my station. Well, ever
+sence I was knee high to a kitchen chair I'd ruther work upstairs than
+down, and as for intellectuals, ma always said I was the smartest
+young one she'd raised yet. So them statements give me consider'ble
+confidence. But he give out that I was to make a journey and get money,
+and when THAT come true I held up both hands and stood ready to swaller
+all the rest of it.'
+
+“'So it come true, did it?' says I.
+
+“'Um-hm,' says she, bouncin' her head again. 'Inside of four year I
+traveled 'way over to South Eastboro--'most twelve mile--to my Uncle
+Issy's fun'ral, and there I found that he'd left me nine hundred dollars
+for my very own. And down I flops on the parlor sofy and says I: “There!
+don't talk superstition to ME no more! A person that can foretell Uncle
+Issy's givin' anybody a cent, let alone nine hundred dollars, is a good
+enough prophet for ME to tie to. Now I KNOW that I'm going to marry the
+dark-complected man, and I'll be ready for him when he comes along.
+I never spent a quarter no better than when I handed it over to that
+Oriental Seer critter at the Cattle Show.” That's what I said then and I
+b'lieve it yet. Wouldn't you feel the same way?'
+
+“I said sure thing I would. I'd found out that the best way to keep
+Effie's talk shop runnin' was to agree with her. And I liked to hear her
+talk.
+
+“'Yup,' she went on, 'I give right in then. I'd traveled same as the
+fortune teller said, and I'd got more money'n I ever expected to see,
+let alone own. And ever sence I've been sartin as I'm alive that the
+feller I marry will be of a rank higher'n mine and dark complected and
+good-lookin' and distinguished, and that he'll be name of Butler.'
+
+“'Butler?' says I. 'What will he be named Butler for?'
+
+“''Cause the Seer critter said so. He said he could see the word Butler
+printed out over the top of my head in flamin' letters. Pa used to say
+'twas a wonder it never set fire to my crimps, but he was only foolin'.
+I know that it's all comin' out true. You ain't acquaintanced to any
+Butlers, are you?'
+
+“'No,' says I. 'I heard Ben Butler make a speech once when he was
+gov'nor, but he's dead now. There ain't no Butlers on the Old Home
+shippin' lists.'
+
+“'Oh, I know that!' she says. 'And everybody round here is homelier'n a
+moultin' pullet. There now! I didn't mean exactly EVERYbody, of course.
+But you ain't dark complected, you know, nor--'
+
+“'No,' says I, 'nor rank nor distinguished neither. Course the handsome
+part might fit me, but I'd have to pass on the rest of the hand. That's
+all right, Effie; my feelin's have got fire-proofed sence I've been
+in the summer hotel business. Now you'd better run along and report to
+Susannah. I hear her whoopin' for you, and she don't light like a canary
+bird on the party she's mad with.'
+
+“She didn't, that was a fact. Susannah Debs, who was housekeeper for us
+that year, was middlin' young and middlin' good-lookin', and couldn't
+forget it. Also and likewise, she had a suit for damages against the
+railroad, which she had hopes would fetch her money some day or other,
+and she couldn't forget that neither. She was skipper of all the hired
+hands and, bein' as Effie was prettier than she was, never lost a chance
+to lay the poor girl out. She put the other help up to pokin' fun at
+Effie's green ways and high-toned notions, and 'twas her that started
+'em callin' her 'Lady Evelyn' in the fo'castle--servants' quarters, I
+mean.
+
+“'I'm a-comin', 'screams Effie, startin' for the door. 'Susannah's in a
+tearin' hurry to get through early to-day,' she adds to me. 'She's got
+the afternoon off, and her beau's comin' to take her buggy ridin'.
+He's from over Harniss way somewheres and they say he's just lovely. My
+sakes! I wisht somebody'd take ME to ride. Ah hum! cal'late I'll have to
+wait for my Butler man. Say, Mr. Wingate, you won't mention my fortune
+to a soul, will you? I never told anybody but you.'
+
+“I promised to keep mum and she cleared out. After dinner, as I was
+smokin', along with Cap'n Jonadab, on the side piazza, a horse and
+buggy drove in at the back gate. A young chap with black curly hair was
+pilotin' the craft. He was a stranger to me, wore a checkerboard suit
+and a bonfire necktie, and had his hat twisted over one ear. Altogether
+he looked some like a sunflower goin' to seed.
+
+“'Who's that barber's sign when it's to home?' says I to Jonadab. He
+snorted contemptuous.
+
+“'That?' he says. 'Don't you know the cut of that critter's jib? He
+plays pool “for the house” in Web Saunders's place over to Orham. He's
+the housekeeper's steady comp'ny--steady by spells, if all I hear's
+true. Good-for-nothin' cub, I call him. Wisht I'd had him aboard a
+vessel of mine; I'd 'a' squared his yards for him. Look how he cants his
+hat to starboard so's to show them lovelocks. Bah!'
+
+“'What's his name?' I asks.
+
+“'Name? Name's Butler--Simeon Butler. Don't you remember . . . Hey? What
+in tunket . . .?'
+
+“Both of us had jumped as if somebody'd touched off a bombshell under
+our main hatches. The windows of the dining room was right astern of us.
+We whirled round, and there was Effie. She'd been clearin' off one of
+the tables and there she stood, with the smashed pieces of an ice-cream
+platter in front of her, the melted cream sloppin' over her shoes, and
+her face lookin' like the picture of Lot's wife just turnin' to salt.
+Only Effie looked as if she enjoyed the turnin'. She never spoke nor
+moved, just stared after that buggy with her black eyes sparklin' like
+burnt holes in a blanket.
+
+“I was too astonished to say anything, but Jonadab had his eye on that
+smashed platter and HE had things to say, plenty of 'em. I walked off
+and left Effie playin' congregation to a sermon on the text 'Crockery
+costs money.' You'd think that ice-cream dish was a genuine ugly, nicked
+'antique' wuth any city loon's ten dollars, instead of bein' only new
+and pretty fifty-cent china. I felt real sorry for the poor girl.
+
+“But I needn't have been. That evenin' I found her on the back steps,
+all Sunday duds and airs. Her hair had a wire friz on it, and her dress
+had Joseph's coat in Scriptur' lookin' like a mournin' rig. She'd have
+been real handsome--to a body that was color blind.
+
+“'My, Effie!' says I, 'you sartin do look fine to-night.'
+
+“'Yup,' she says, contented, 'I guess likely I do. Hope so, 'cause I'm
+wearin' all I've got. Say, Mr. Wingate,' says she, excited as a cat in a
+fit, 'did you see him?'
+
+“'Him?' says I. 'Who's him?'
+
+“'Why, HIM! The one the Seer said was comin'. The handsome,
+dark-complected feller I'm goin' to marry. The Butler one. That was him
+in the buggy this afternoon.'
+
+“I looked at her. I'd forgot all about the fool prophecy.
+
+“'Good land of love!' I says. 'You don't cal'late he's comin' to marry
+YOU, do you, just 'cause his name's Butler? There's ten thousand Butlers
+in the world. Besides, your particular one was slated to be high ranked
+and distinguished, and this specimen scrubs up the billiard-room floor
+and ain't no more distinguished than a poorhouse pig.'
+
+“'Ain't?' she sings out. 'Ain't distinguished? With all them beautiful
+curls, and rings on his fingers, and--'
+
+“'Bells on his toes? No!' says I, emphatic. 'Anyhow, he's signed for
+the v'yage already. He's Susannah Debs's steady, and they're off buggy
+ridin' together right now. And if she catches you makin' eyes at her
+best feller--Whew!'
+
+“Didn't make no difference. He was her Butler, sure. 'Twas Fate--that's
+what 'twas--Fate, just the same as in storybooks. She was sorry for poor
+Susannah and she wouldn't do nothin' mean nor underhanded; but couldn't
+I understand that 'twas all planned out for her by Providence and that
+everlastin' Seer? Just let me watch and see, that's all.
+
+“What can you do with an idiot like that? I walked off disgusted and
+left her. But I cal'lated to watch. I judged 'twould be more fun than
+any 'play-actin' show ever I took in.
+
+“And 'twas, in a way. Don't ask me how they got acquainted, 'cause I
+can't tell you for sartin. Nigh's I can learn, Susannah and Sim had some
+sort of lover's row durin' their buggy ride, and when they got back to
+the hotel they was scurcely on speakin' terms. And Sim, who always had a
+watch out for'ard for pretty girls, see Effie standin' on the servants'
+porch all togged up regardless and gay as a tea-store chromo, and
+nothin' to do but he must be introduced. One of the stable hands done
+the introducin', I b'lieve, and if he'd have been hung afterwards
+'twould have sarved him right.
+
+“Anyhow, inside of a week Butler come round again to take a lady friend
+drivin', but this time 'twas Effie, not the housekeeper, that was
+passenger. And Susannah glared after 'em like a cat after a sparrow,
+and the very next day she was for havin' Effie discharged for
+incompetentiveness. I give Jonadab the tip, though, so that didn't go
+through. But I cal'late there was a parrot and monkey time among the
+help from then on.
+
+“They all sided with Susannah, of course. She was their boss, for one
+thing, and 'Lady Evelyn's' high-minded notions wa'n't popular, for
+another. But Effie didn't care--bless you, no! She and that Butler sport
+was together more and more, and the next thing I heard was that they was
+engaged. I snum, if it didn't look as if the Oriental man knew his job
+after all.
+
+“I spoke to the stable hand about it.
+
+“'Look here,' says I, 'is this business betwixt that pool player and our
+Effie serious?'
+
+“He laughed. 'Serious enough, I guess,' he says. 'They're goin' to
+be married pretty soon, I hear. It's all 'cordin' to the law and the
+prophets. Ain't you heard about the fortune tellin' and how 'twas
+foretold she'd marry a Butler?'
+
+“I'd heard, but I didn't s'pose he had. However, it seemed that Effie
+hadn't been able to keep it to herself no longer. Soon as she'd hooked
+her man she'd blabbed the whole thing. The fo'mast hands wa'n't talkin'
+of nothin' else, so this feller said.
+
+“'Humph!' says I. 'Is it the prophecy that Butler's bankin' on?'
+
+“He laughed again. 'Not so much as on Lady Evelyn's nine hundred, I
+cal'late,' says he. Sim likes Susannah the best of the two, so we all
+reckon, but she ain't rich and Effie is. And yet, if the Debs woman
+should win that lawsuit of hers against the railroad she'd have pretty
+nigh twice as much. Butler's a fool not to wait, I think,' he says.
+
+“This was of a Monday. On Friday evenin' Effie comes around to see me. I
+was alone in the office.
+
+“'Mr. Wingate,' she says, 'I'm goin' to leave to-morrer night. I'm goin'
+to be married on Sunday.'
+
+“I'd been expecting it, but I couldn't help feelin' sorry for her.
+
+“'Don't do nothin' rash, Effie,' I told her. 'Are you sure that Butler
+critter cares anything about you and not your money?'
+
+“She flared up like a tar barrel. 'The idea!' she says, turnin' red. 'I
+just come in to give you warnin'. Good-by.'
+
+“'Hold on,' I sung out to her. 'Effie, I've thought consider'ble about
+you lately. I've been tryin' to help you a little on the sly. I realized
+that 'twa'n't pleasant for you workin' here under Susannah Debs, and
+I've been tryin' to find a nice place for you. I wrote about you to Bob
+Van Wedderburn; he's the rich banker chap who stopped here one summer.
+“Jonesy,” we used to call him. I know him and his wife fust rate, and
+he'd do 'most anything as a favor to me. I told him what a neat, handy
+girl you was, and he writes that he'll give you the job of second girl
+at his swell New York house, if you want it. Now you just hand that Sim
+Butler his clearance papers and go work for Bob's wife. The wages are
+double what you get here, and--'
+
+“She didn't wait to hear the rest. Just sailed out of the room with her
+nose in the air. In a minute, though, back she come and just put her
+head in the door.
+
+“'I'm much obliged to you, Mr. Wingate,' says she. 'I know you mean
+well. But you ain't had your fate foretold, same's I have. It's all
+been arranged for me, and I couldn't stop it no more'n Jonah could help
+swallerin' the whale. I--I kind of wish you'd be on hand at the back
+door on Sunday mornin' when Simeon comes to take me away. You--you're
+about the only real friend I've got,' she says.
+
+“And off she went, for good this time. I pitied her, in spite of her
+bein' such a dough head. I knew what sort of a husband that pool-room
+shark would make. However, there wa'n't nothin' to be done. And next day
+Cap'n Jonadab was round, madder'n a licked pup. Seems Susannah's lawyer
+at Orham had sent for her to come right off and see him. Somethin' about
+the suit, it was. And she was goin' in spite of everything. And with
+Effie's leavin' at the same time, what was we goin' to do over Sunday?
+and so forth and so on.
+
+“Well, we had to do the best we could, that's all. But that Saturday
+was busy, now I tell you. Sunday mornin' broke fine and clear and, after
+breakfast was over, I remembered Effie and that 'twas her weddin' day.
+On the back steps I found her, dressed in all her grandeur, with her
+packed trunk ready, waitin' for the bridegroom.
+
+“'Ain't come yet, hey, Effie?' says I.
+
+“'No,' says she, smilin' and radiant. 'It's a little early for him yet,
+I guess.'
+
+“I went off to 'tend to the boarders. At half past ten, when I made the
+back steps again, she was still there. T'other servants was peekin' out
+of the kitchen windows, grinnin' and passin' remarks.
+
+“'Hello!' I calls out. 'Not married yet? What's the matter?'
+
+“She'd stopped smilin', but she was as chipper as ever, to all
+appearances.
+
+“'I--I guess the horse has gone lame or somethin',' says she. 'He'll be
+here any time now.'
+
+“There was a cackle from the kitchen windows. I never said nothin'.
+She'd made her nest; now let her roost on it.
+
+“But at twelve Butler hadn't hove in sight. Every hand, male and female,
+on the place, that wa'n't busy, was hangin' around the back of the
+hotel, waitin' and watchin' and ridiculin' and havin' a high time. Them
+that had errands made it a p'int to cruise past that way. Lots of the
+boarders had got wind of the doin's, and they was there, too.
+
+“Effie was settin' on her trunk, tryin' hard to look brave. I went up
+and spoke to her.
+
+“'Come, my girl,' says I. 'Don't set here no longer. Come into the house
+and wait. Hadn't you better?'
+
+“'No!' says she, loud and defiant like. 'No, sir! It's all right. He's a
+little late, that's all. What do you s'pose I care for a lot of jealous
+folks like those up there?' wavin' her flipper scornful toward the
+kitchen.
+
+“And then, all to once, she kind of broke down, and says to me, with a
+pitiful sort of choke in her voice:
+
+“'Oh, Mr. Wingate! I can't stand this. Why DON'T he come?'
+
+“I tried hard to think of somethin' comfortin' to say, but afore I
+could h'ist a satisfyin' word out of my hatches I heard the noise of a
+carriage comin'. Effie heard it, too, and so did everybody else. We all
+looked toward the gate. 'Twas Sim Butler, sure enough, in his buggy and
+drivin' the same old horse; but settin' alongside of him on the seat was
+Susannah Debs, the housekeeper. And maybe she didn't look contented with
+things in gen'ral!
+
+“Butler pulled up his horse by the gate. Him and Susannah bowed to all
+hands. Nobody said anything for a minute. Then Effie bounced off the
+trunk and down them steps.
+
+“'Simmie' she sung out, breathless like, 'Simeon Butler, what does this
+mean?'
+
+“The Debs woman straightened up on the seat. 'Thank you, marm,' says
+she, chilly as the top section of an ice chest, 'I'll request you not to
+call my husband by his first name.'
+
+“It was so still you could have heard yourself grow. Effie turned white
+as a Sunday tablecloth.
+
+“'Your--husband?' she gasps. 'Your--your HUSBAND?'
+
+“'Yes, marm,' purrs the housekeeper. 'My husband was what I said. Mr.
+Butler and me have just been married.'
+
+“'Sorry, Effie, old girl,' puts in Butler, so sassy I'd love to have
+preached his fun'ral sermon. 'Too bad, but fust love's strongest, you
+know. Susie and me was engaged long afore you come to town.'
+
+“THEN such a haw-haw and whoop bust from the kitchen and fo'castle as
+you never heard. For a jiffy poor Effie wilted right down. Then she
+braced up and her black eyes snapped.
+
+“'I wish you joy of your bargain, marm,' says she to Susannah. 'You'd
+ought to be proud of it. And as for YOU,' she says, swingin' round
+toward the rest of the help, 'I--'
+
+“'How 'bout that prophet?' hollers somebody.
+
+“'Three cheers for the Oriental!' bellers somebody else.
+
+“'When you marry the right Butler fetch him along and let us see him!'
+whoops another.
+
+“She faced 'em all, and I gloried in her spunk.
+
+“'When I marry him I WILL come back,' says she. 'And when I do you'll
+have to get down on your knees and wait on me. You--and you--Yes, and
+YOU, too!'
+
+“The last two 'yous' was hove at Sim and Susannah. Then she turned and
+marched into the hotel. And the way them hired hands carried on was
+somethin' scandalous--till I stepped in and took charge of the deck.
+
+“That very afternoon I put Effie and her trunk aboard the train. I
+paid her fare to New York and give her directions how to locate the Van
+Wedderburns.
+
+“'So long, Effie,' says I to her. 'It's all right. You're enough sight
+better off. All you want to do now is to work hard and forget all that
+fortune-tellin' foolishness.'
+
+“She whirled on me like a top.
+
+“'Forget it!' she says. 'I GUESS I shan't forget it! It's comin' true,
+I tell you--same as all the rest come true. You said yourself there was
+ten thousand Butlers in the world. Some day the right one--the handsome,
+high-ranked, distinguished one--will come along, and I'll get him. You
+wait and see, Mr. Wingate--just you wait and see.'”
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XV
+
+THE “HERO” AND THE COWBOY
+
+
+“So that was the end of it, hey?” said Captain Bailey. “Well, it's what
+you might expect, but it wa'n't much to be so anxious to tell; and as
+for PROVIN' anything about fortune tellin'--why--”
+
+“It AIN'T the end,” shouted the exasperated Barzilla. “Not nigh the end.
+'Twas the beginnin'. The housekeeper left us that day, of course, and
+for the rest of that summer the servant question kept me and Jonadab
+from thinkin' of other things. Course, the reason for the Butler scamp's
+sudden switch was plain enough. Susannah's lawyer had settled the case
+with the railroad and, even after his fee was subtracted, there was
+fifteen hundred left. That was enough sight better'n nine hundred, so
+Sim figgered when he heard of it; and he hustled to make up with his old
+girl.
+
+“Fifteen hundred dollars doesn't last long with some folks. At the
+beginnin' of the next spring season both of 'em was round huntin' jobs.
+Susannah was a fust-rate waitress, so we hired her for that--no more
+housekeeper for hers, and served her right. As for her husband, we took
+him on in the stable. He wouldn't have been wuth his salt if it hadn't
+been for her. She said she'd keep him movin' and she did. She nagged and
+henpecked him till I'd have been sorry if 'twas anybody else; as 'twas,
+I got consider'ble satisfaction out of it.
+
+“I got one letter from Effie pretty soon after she left, sayin' she
+liked her new job and that the Van Wedderburns liked her. And that's all
+I did hear, though Bob himself wrote me in May, sayin' him and
+Mabel, his wife, had bought a summer cottage in Wapatomac, and me and
+Jonadab--especially me--must be sure and come to see it and them. He
+never mentioned his second girl, and I almost forgot her myself.
+
+“But one afternoon in early July a big six-cylinder automobile come
+sailin' down the road and into the Old Home House yard. A shofer--I
+b'lieve that's what they call the tribe--was at the helm of it, and on
+the back seat, lollin' luxurious against the upholstery, was a man and
+a woman, got up regardless in silk dusters and goggles and veils and
+prosperity. I never expect to see the Prince of Wales and his wife, but
+I know how they'd look--after seein' them two.
+
+“Jonadab was at the bottom step to welcome 'em, bowin' and scrapin' as
+if his middle j'int had just been iled. I wa'n't fur astern, and every
+boarder on deck was all eyes and envy.
+
+“The shofer opens the door of the after cockpit of the machine, and the
+man gets out fust, treadin' gingerly but grand, as if he was doin' the
+ground a condescension by steppin' on it. Then he turns to the woman and
+she slides out, her duds rustlin' like the wind in a scrub oak. The pair
+sails up the steps, Jonadab and me backin' and fillin' in front of 'em.
+All the help that could get to a window to peek had knocked off work to
+do it.
+
+“'Ahem!' says the man, pompous as Julius Caesar--he was big and
+straight and fine lookin' and had black side whiskers half mast on his
+cheeks--ahem!' says he. 'I say, good people, may we have dinner here?'
+
+“Well, they tell us time and tide waits for no man, but prob'ly that
+don't include the nobility. Anyhow, although 'twas long past our reg'lar
+dinner time, I heard Jonadab tellin' 'em sure and sartin they could. If
+they wouldn't mind settin' on the piazza or in the front parlor for a
+spell, he'd have somethin' prepared in a jiffy. So up to the piazza they
+paraded and come to anchor in a couple of chairs.
+
+“'You can have your automobile put right into the barn,' I says, 'if you
+want to.'
+
+“'I don't know as it will be necessary--' began the big feller, but the
+woman interrupted him. She was starin' through her thick veil at the
+barn door. Sim Butler, in his overalls and ragged shirt sleeves, was
+leanin' against that door, interested as the rest of us in what was
+goin' on.
+
+“'I would have it put there, I think,' says the woman, lofty and
+superior. 'It is rather dusty, and I think the wheels ought to be
+washed. Can that man be trusted to wash 'em?' she asks, pointin' kind of
+scornful at Simeon.
+
+“'Yes, marm, I cal'late so,' I says. 'Here, Sim!' I sung out, callin'
+Butler over to the steps. 'Can you wash the dust off them wheels?'
+
+“He said course he could, but he didn't act joyful over the job. The
+woman seemed some doubtful.
+
+“'He looks like a very ignorant, common person,' says she, loud and
+clear, so that everybody, includin' the 'ignorant person' himself, could
+hear her. 'However, James'll superintend. James,' she orders the shofer,
+'you see that it is well done, won't you? Make him be very careful.'
+
+“James looked Butler over from head to foot. 'Humph!' he sniffs,
+contemptuous, with a kind of half grin on his face. 'Yes, marm, I'll
+'tend to it.'
+
+“So he steered the auto into the barn, and Simeon got busy. Judgin' by
+the sharp language that drifted out through the door, 'twas plain that
+the shofer was superintendin' all right.
+
+“Jonadab heaves in sight, bowin', and makes proclamation that dinner
+is served. The pair riz up majestic and headed for the dinin' room. The
+woman was a little astern of her man, and in the hall she turns brisk to
+me.
+
+“'Mr. Wingate,' she whispers, 'Mr. Wingate.'
+
+“I stared at her. Her voice had sounded sort of familiar ever sence I
+heard it, but the veil kept a body from seein' what she looked like.
+
+“'Hey?' I sings out. 'Have I ever--'
+
+“'S-s-h-h!' she whispers. 'Say, Mr. Wingate, that--that Susannah thing
+is here, ain't she? Have her wait on us, will you, please?'
+
+“And she swept the veil off her face. I choked up and staggered bang!
+against the wall. I swan to man if it wa'n't Effie! EFFIE, in silks and
+automobiles and gorgeousness!
+
+“Afore I could come to myself the two of 'em marched into that dining
+room. I heard a grunt and a 'Land of love!' from just ahead of me. That
+was Jonadab. And from all around that dinin' room come a sort of gasp
+and then the sound of whisperin'. That was the help.
+
+“They took a table by the window, which had been made ready. Down they
+set like a king and a queen perchin' on thrones. One of the waiter girls
+went over to em.
+
+“But I'd come out of my trance a little mite. The situation was miles
+ahead of my brain, goodness knows, but the joke of it all was gettin' a
+grip on me. I remembered what Effie had asked and I spoke up prompt.
+
+“'Susannah,' says I, 'this is a particular job and we're anxious to
+please. You'd better do the waitin' yourself.'
+
+“I wish you could have seen the glare that ex-housekeeper give me. For
+a second I thought we'd have open mutiny. But her place wa'n't any too
+sartin and she didn't dare risk it. Over she walked to that table, and
+the fun began.
+
+“Jonadab had laid himself out to make that meal a success, but they ate
+it as if 'twas pretty poor stuff and not by no means what they fed on
+every day. They found fault with 'most everything, but most especial
+with Susannah's waitin'. My! how they did order her around--a mate on a
+cattle boat wa'n't nothin' to it. And when 'twas all over and they got
+up to go, Effie says, so's all hands can hear:
+
+“'The food here is not so bad, but the service--oh, horrors! However,
+Albert,' says she to the side-whiskered man, 'you had better give the
+girl our usual tip. She looks as if she needed it, poor thing!'
+
+“Then they paraded out of the room, and I see Susannah sling the half
+dollar the man had left on the table clear to Jericho, it seemed like.
+
+“The auto was waitin' by the piazza steps. The shofer and Butler was
+standin' by it. And when Sim see Effie with her veil throwed back he
+pretty nigh fell under the wheels he'd been washin' so hard. And he
+looked as if he wisht they'd run over him.
+
+“'Oh, dear!' sighs Effie, lookin' scornful at the wheels. 'Not half
+clean, just as I expected. I knew by the looks of that--that PERSON that
+he wouldn't do it well. Don't give him much, Albert; he ain't earned
+it.'
+
+“They climbed into the cockpit, the shofer took the helm, and they was
+ready to start. But I couldn't let 'em go that way. Out I run.
+
+“'Say--say, Effie!' I whispers, eager. 'For the goodness' sakes, what's
+all this mean? Is that your--your--'
+
+“'My husband? Yup,' she whispers back, her eyes shinin'. 'Didn't I tell
+you to look out for my prophecy? Ain't he handsome and distinguished,
+just as I said? Good-by, Mr. Wingate; maybe I'll see you again some
+day.'
+
+“The machinery barked and they got under way. I run along for two steps
+more.
+
+“'But, Effie,' says I, 'tell me--is his name--?'
+
+“She didn't answer. She was watchin' Sim Butler and his wife. Sim had
+stooped to pick up the quarter the Prince of Wales had hove at him. And
+that was too much for Susannah, who was watchin' from the window.
+
+“'Don't you touch that money!' she screams. 'Don't you lay a finger on
+it! Ain't you got any self-respect at all, you miser'ble, low-lived--'
+and so forth and so on. All the way to the front gate I see Effie
+leanin' out, lookin' and listenin' and smilin'.
+
+“Then the machine buzzed off in a typhoon of dust and I went back to
+Jonadab, who was a livin' catechism of questions which neither one of us
+could answer.”
+
+“So THAT'S the end!” exclaimed Captain Bailey. “Well--”
+
+“No, it ain't the end--not even yet. Maybe it ought to be, but it ain't.
+There's a little more of it.
+
+“A fortni't later I took a couple of days off and went up to Wapatomac
+to visit the Van Wedderburns, same as I'd promised. Their 'cottage' was
+pretty nigh big enough for a hotel, and was so grand that I, even if I
+did have on my Sunday frills, was 'most ashamed to ring the doorbell.
+
+“But I did ring it, and the feller that opened the door was big and
+solemn and fine lookin' and had side whiskers. Only this time he wore a
+tail coat with brass buttons on it.
+
+“How do you do, Mr. Wingate?' says he. Step right in, sir, if you
+please. Mr. and Mrs. Van Wedderburn are out in the auto, but they'll be
+back shortly, and very glad to see you, sir, I'm sure. Let me take
+your grip and hat. Step right into the reception room and wait, if you
+please, sir. Perhaps,' he says, and there was a twinkle in his port eye,
+though the rest of his face was sober as the front door of a church,
+'perhaps,' says he, 'you might wish to speak with my wife a moment. I'll
+take the liberty of sendin' her to you, sir.'
+
+“So, as I sat on the gunwale of a blue and gold chair, tryin' to settle
+whether I was really crazy or only just dreamin', in bounces Effie,
+rigged up in a servant's cap and apron. She looked polite and demure,
+but I could see she was just bubblin' with the joy of the whole
+bus'ness.
+
+“'Effie,' says I, 'Effie, what--what in the world--?'
+
+“She giggled. 'Yup,' she says, 'I'm chambermaid here and they treat me
+fine. Thank you very much for gettin' me the situation.'
+
+“'But--but them doin's the other day? That automobile--and them silks
+and satins--and--?'
+
+“'Mr. Van Wedderburn lent 'em to me,' she said, 'him an' his wife. And
+he lent us the auto and the shofer, too. I told him about my troubles
+at the Old Home House and he thought 'twould be a great joke for me
+to travel back there like a lady. He's awful fond of a joke--Mr. Van
+Wedderburn is.'
+
+“'But that man?' I gasps. 'Your husband? That's what you said he was.'
+
+“'Yes,' says she, 'he is. We've been married 'most six months now. My
+prophecy's all come true. And DIDN'T I rub it in on that Susannah Debs
+and her scamp of a Sim? Ho! ho!'
+
+“She clapped her hands and pretty nigh danced a jig, she was so tickled.
+
+“'But is he a Butler?' I asks.
+
+“'Yup,' she nods, with another giggle. 'He's A butler, though his name's
+Jenkins; and a butler's high rank--higher than chambermaid, anyhow. You
+see, Mr. Wingate,' she adds, ''twas all my fault. When that Oriental
+Seer man at the show said I was to marry a butler, I forgot to ask him
+whether you spelt it with a big B or a little one.'”
+
+The unexpected manner in which Effie's pet prophecy had been fulfilled
+amused Captain Sol immensely. He laughed so heartily that Issy McKay
+looked in at the door with an expression of alarm on his face. The
+depot master had laughed little during the past few days, and Issy was
+surprised.
+
+But Captain Stitt was ready with a denial. He claimed that the prophecy
+was NOT fulfilled and therefore all fortune telling was fraudulent.
+Barzilla retorted hotly, and the argument began again. The two were
+shouting at each other. Captain Sol stood it for a while and then
+commanded silence.
+
+“Stop your yellin'!” he ordered. “What ails you fellers? Think you can
+prove it better by screechin'? They can hear you half a mile. There's
+Cornelius Rowe standin' gawpin' on the other side of the street this
+minute. He thinks there's a fire or a riot, one or t'other. Let's change
+the subject. See here, Bailey, didn't you start to tell us somethin'
+last time you was in here about your ridin' in an automobile?”
+
+“I started to--yes. But nobody'd listen. I rode in one and I sailed in
+one. You see--”
+
+“I'm goin' outdoor,” declared Barzilla.
+
+“No, you're not. Bailey listened to you. Now you do as much for him. I
+heard a little somethin' about the affair at the time it happened and
+I'd like to hear the rest of it. How was it, Bailey?”
+
+Captain Stitt knocked the ashes from his pipe.
+
+“Well,” he began, “I didn't know the critter was weak in his top riggin'
+or I wouldn't have gone with him in the fust place. And he wa'n't
+real loony, nuther. 'Twas only when he got aboard that--that ungodly,
+kerosene-smellin', tootin', buzzin', Old Harry's gocart of his that the
+craziness begun to show. There's so many of them weak-minded city folks
+from the Ocean House comes perusin' 'round summers, nowadays, that
+I cal'lated he was just an average specimen, and never examined him
+close.”
+
+“Are all the Ocean House boarders weak-minded nowadays?” asked the depot
+master.
+
+Mr. Wingate answered the question.
+
+“My land!” he snapped; “would they board at the Ocean House if they
+WA'N'T weak-minded?”
+
+Captain Bailey did not deign to reply to this jibe. He continued calmly:
+
+“This feller wa'n't an Ocean Houser, though. He was young Stumpton's
+automobile skipper-shover, or shofer, or somethin' they called him. He
+answered to the hail of Billings, and his home port was the Stumpton
+ranch, 'way out in Montana. He'd been here in Orham only a couple of
+weeks, havin' come plumb across the United States to fetch his boss the
+new automobile. You see, 'twas early October. The Stumptons had left
+their summer place on the Cliff Road, and was on their way South for
+the winter. Young Stumpton was up to Boston, but he was comin' back in
+a couple of days, and then him and the shover was goin' automobilin' to
+Florida. To Florida, mind you! In that thing! If it was me I'd buy my
+ticket to Tophet direct and save time and money.
+
+“Well, anyhow, this critter Billings, he ain't never smelt salt water
+afore, and he don't like the smell. He makes proclamations that Orham is
+nothin' but sand, slush, and soft drinks. He won't sail, he can't
+swim, he won't fish; but he's hankerin' to shoot somethin', havin' been
+brought up in a place where if you don't shoot some of the neighbors
+every day or so folks think you're stuck up and dissociable. Then
+somebody tells him it's the duckin' season down to Setuckit P'int, and
+he says he'll spend his day off, while the boss is away, massycreein'
+the coots there. This same somebody whispers that I know so much about
+ducks that I quack when I talk, and he comes cruisin' over in the buzz
+cart to hire me for guide. And--would you b'lieve it?--it turns out that
+he's cal'latin' to make his duckin' v'yage in that very cart. I was for
+makin' the trip in a boat, like a sensible man, but he wouldn't hear of
+it.
+
+“'Land of love!' says I. 'Go to Setuckit in a automobile?'
+
+“'Why not?' he says. 'The biscuit shooter up at the hotel tells me
+there's a smart chance of folks goes there a-horseback. And where a hoss
+can travel I reckon the old gal here'--slappin' the thwart of the auto
+alongside of him--'can go, too!'
+
+“'But there's the Cut-through,' says I.
+
+“''Tain't nothin' but a creek when the freshet's over, they tell me,'
+says he. 'And me and the boss have forded four foot of river in this
+very machine.'
+
+“By the 'freshet' bein' over I judged he meant the tide bein' out. And
+the Cut-through ain't but a little trickle then, though it's a quarter
+mile wide and deep enough to float a schooner at high water. It's the
+strip of channel that makes Setuckit Beach an island, you know. The
+gov'ment has had engineers down dredgin' of it out, and pretty soon fish
+boats'll be able to save the twenty-mile sail around the P'int and into
+Orham Harbor at all hours.
+
+“Well, to make a long story short, I agreed to let him cart me to
+Setuckit P'int in that everlastin' gas carryall. We was to start at four
+o'clock in the afternoon, 'cause the tide at the Cut-through would be
+dead low at half-past four. We'd stay overnight at my shanty at the
+P'int, get up airly, shoot all day, and come back the next afternoon.
+
+“At four prompt he was on hand, ready for me. I loaded in the guns and
+grub and one thing or 'nother, and then 'twas time for me to get aboard
+myself.
+
+“'You'll set in the tonneau,' says he, indicatin' the upholstered after
+cockpit of the concern. I opened up the shiny hatch, under orders from
+him, and climbed in among the upholstery. 'Twas soft as a feather bed.
+
+“'Jerushy!' says I, lollin' back luxurious. This is fine, ain't it?'
+
+“'Cost seventy-five hundred to build,' he says casual. 'Made to order
+for the boss. Lightest car of her speed ever turned out.'
+
+“'Go 'way! How you talk! Seventy-five hundred what? Not dollars?'
+
+“'Sure,' he says. Then he turns round--he was in the bow, hangin' on to
+the steerin' wheel--and looks me over, kind of interested, but superior.
+'Say,' he says, 'I've been hearin' things about you. You're a hero,
+ain't you?'
+
+“Durn them Orham gabblers! Ever sence I hauled that crew of seasick
+summer boarders out of the drink a couple of years ago and the gov'ment
+gave me a medal, the minister and some more of his gang have painted out
+the name I was launched under and had me entered on the shippin' list
+as 'The Hero.' I've licked two or three for callin' me that, but I can't
+lick a parson, and he was the one that told Billings.
+
+“'Oh, I don't know!' I answers pretty sharp. 'Get her under way, why
+don't you?'
+
+“All he done was look me over some more and grin.
+
+“'A hero! A real live gov'ment-branded hero!' he says. 'Ain't scared of
+nothin', I reckon--hey?'
+
+“I never made no answer. There's some things that's too fresh to eat
+without salt, and I didn't have a pickle tub handy.
+
+“'Hum!' he says again, reverend-like. 'A sure hero; scared of nothin'!
+Never rode in an auto afore, did you?'
+
+“'No,' says I, peppery; 'and I don't see no present symptom of ridin' in
+one now. Cast off, won't you?'
+
+“He cast off. That is to say, he hauled a nickel-plated marlinespike
+thing toward him, shoved another one away from him, took a twist on the
+steerin' wheel, the gocart coughed like a horse with the heaves, started
+up some sort of buzz-planer underneath, and then we begun to move.
+
+“From the time we left my shanty at South Orham till we passed the pines
+at Herrin' Neck I laid back in that stuffed cockpit, feelin' as grand
+and tainted as old John D. himself. The automobile rolled along smooth
+but swift, and it seemed to me I had never known what easy trav'lin' was
+afore. As we rounded the bend by the pines and opened up the twelve-mile
+narrow white stretch of Setuckit Beach ahead of us, with the ocean on
+one side and the bay on t'other, I looked at my watch. We'd come that
+fur in thirteen minutes.
+
+“'Land sakes!' I says. 'This is what I call movin' right along!'
+
+“He turned round and sized me up again, like he was surprised.
+
+“'Movin'?' says he. 'Movin'? Why, pard, we've been settin' down to rest!
+Out our way, if a lynchin' party didn't move faster than we've done so
+fur, the center of attraction would die on the road of old age. Now, my
+heroic college chum,' he goes on, callin' me out of my name, as usual,
+'will you be so condescendin' as to indicate how we hit the trail?'
+
+“'Hit--hit which? Don't hit nothin', for goodness' sake! Goin' the way
+we be, it would--'
+
+“'Which way do we go?'
+
+“'Right straight ahead. Keep on the ocean side, 'cause there's more hard
+sand there, and--hold on! Don't do that! Stop it, I tell you!'
+
+“Them was the last rememberable words said by me durin' the next quarter
+of an hour. That shover man let out a hair-raisin' yell, hauled the
+nickel marlinespike over in its rack, and squeezed a rubber bag that was
+spliced to the steerin' wheel. There was a half dozen toots or howls or
+honks from under our bows somewheres, and then that automobile hopped
+off the ground and commenced to fly. The fust hop landed me on my knees
+in the cockpit, and there I stayed. 'Twas the most fittin' position
+fur my frame of mind and chimed in fust-rate with the general religious
+drift of my thoughts.
+
+“The Cut-through is two mile or more from Herrin' Neck. 'Cordin' to my
+count we hit terra cotta just three times in them two miles. The fust
+hit knocked my hat off. The second one chucked me up so high I looked
+back for the hat, and though we was a half mile away from it, it hadn't
+had time to git to the ground. And all the while the horn was a-honkin',
+and Billings was a-screechin, and the sand was a-flyin'. Sand! Why,
+say! Do you see that extra bald place on the back of my head? Yes? Well,
+there was a two-inch thatch of hair there afore that sand blast ground
+it off.
+
+“When I went up on the third jounce I noticed the Cut-through just
+ahead. Billings see it, too, and--would you b'lieve it?--the lunatic
+stood up, let go of the wheel with one hand, takes off his hat and waves
+it, and we charge down across them wet tide flats like death on the
+woolly horse, in Scriptur'.
+
+“'Hi, yah! Yip!' whoops Billings. 'Come on in, fellers! The water's
+fine! Yow! Y-e-e-e! Yip!'
+
+“For a second it left off rainin' sand, and there was a typhoon of
+mud and spray. I see a million of the prettiest rainbows--that is, I
+cal'lated there was a million; it's awful hard to count when you're
+bouncin' and prayin' and drowndin' all to once. Then we sizzed out of
+the channel, over the flats on t'other side, and on toward Setuckit.
+
+“Never mind the rest of the ride. 'Twas all a sort of constant changin'
+sameness. I remember passin' a blurred life-savin' station, with
+three--or maybe thirty--blurred men jumpin' and laughin' and hollerin'.
+I found out afterwards that they'd been on the lookout for the bombshell
+for half an hour. Billings had told around town what he was goin' to
+do to me, and some kind friend had telephoned it to the station. So the
+life-savers was full of anticipations. I hope they were satisfied. I
+hadn't rehearsed my part of the show none, but I feel what the parson
+calls a consciousness of havin' done my best.
+
+“'Whoa, gal!' says Billings, calm and easy, puttin' the helm hard down.
+The auto was standin' still at last. Part of me was hangin' over the lee
+rail. I could see out of the part, so I knew 'twas my head. And there
+alongside was my fish shanty at the P'int, goin' round and round in
+circles.
+
+“I undid the hatch of the cockpit and fell out on the sand. Then I
+scrambled up and caught hold of the shanty as it went past me. That fool
+shover watched me, seemin'ly interested.
+
+“'Why, pard,' says he, 'what's the matter? Do you feel pale? Are you
+nervous? It ain't possible that you're scared? Honest, now, pard, if it
+weren't that I knew you were a genuine gold-mounted hero I'd sure think
+you was a scared man.'
+
+“I never said nothin'. The scenery and me was just turnin' the mark buoy
+on our fourth lap.
+
+“'Dear me, pard!' continues Billings. 'I sure hope I ain't scared you
+none. We come down a little slow this evenin', but to-morrow night, when
+I take you back home, I'll let the old girl out a little.'
+
+“I sensed some of that. And as the shanty had about come to anchor, I
+answered and spoke my mind.
+
+“'When you take me back home!' I says. 'When you do! Why, you
+crack-brained, murderin' lunatic, I wouldn't cruise in that hell wagon
+of yours again for the skipper's wages on a Cunarder. No, nor the mate's
+hove in!'
+
+“And that shover he put his head back and laughed and laughed and
+laughed.”
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XVI
+
+THE CRUISE OF THE RED CAR
+
+
+“I don't wonder he laughed,” observed Wingate, who seemed to enjoy
+irritating his friend. “You must have been good as a circus.”
+
+“Humph!” grunted the depot master. “If I remember right you said YOU
+wa'n't any ten-cent side show under similar circumstances, Barzilla.
+Heave ahead, Bailey!”
+
+Captain Stitt, unruffled, resumed:
+
+“I tell you, I had to take it that evenin',” he said. “All the time I
+was cookin' and while he was eatin' supper, Billings was rubbin' it
+into me about my bein' scared. Called me all the saltwater-hero names
+he could think of--'Hobson' and 'Dewey' and the like of that, usin' em
+sarcastic, of course. Finally, he said he remembered readin' in school,
+when he was little, about a girl hero, name of Grace Darlin'. Said he
+cal'lated, if I didn't mind, he'd call me Grace, 'cause it was heroic
+and yet kind of fitted in with my partic'lar brand of bravery. I didn't
+answer much; he had me down, and I knew it. Likewise I judged he was
+more or less out of his head; no sane man would yell the way he done
+aboard that automobile.
+
+“Then he commenced to spin yarns about himself and his doin's, and
+pretty soon it come out that he'd been a cowboy afore young Stumpton
+give up ranchin' and took to automobilin'. That cleared the sky line
+some, of course; I'd read consider'ble about cowboys in the ten-cent
+books my nephew fetched home when he was away to school. I see right off
+that Billings was the livin' image of Deadwood Dick and Wild Bill and
+the rest in them books; they yelled and howled and hadn't no regard for
+life and property any more'n he had. No, sir! He wa'n't no crazier'n
+they was; it was in the breed, I judged.
+
+“'I sure wish I had you on the ranch, Grace,' says he. 'Why don't you
+come West some day? That's where a hero like you would show up strong.'
+
+“'Godfrey mighty!' I sings out. 'I wouldn't come nigh such a nest of
+crazy murderers as that fur no money! I'd sooner ride in that automobile
+of yours, and St. Peter himself couldn't coax me into THAT again, not if
+'twas fur a cruise plumb up the middle of the golden street!'
+
+“I meant it, too, and the next afternoon when it come time to start
+for home he found out that I meant it. We'd shot a lot of ducks, and
+Billings was havin' such a good time that I had to coax and tease him
+as if he was a young one afore he'd think of quittin'. It was quarter
+of six when he backed the gas cart out of the shed. I was uneasy, 'cause
+'twas past low-water time, and there was fog comin' on.
+
+“'Brace up, Dewey!' says he. 'Get in.'
+
+“'No, Mr. Billings,' says I. 'I ain't goin' to get in. You take that
+craft of yourn home, and I'll sail up alongside in my dory.'
+
+“'In your which?' says he.
+
+“'In my dory,' I says. 'That's her hauled up on the beach abreast the
+shanty.'
+
+“He looked at the dory and then at me.
+
+“'Go on!' says he. 'You ain't goin' to pack yourself twelve mile on THAT
+SHINGLE?'
+
+“'Sartin I am! says I. 'I ain't takin' no more chances.'
+
+“Do you know, he actually seemed to think I was crazy then. Seemed to
+figger that the dory wa'n't big enough; and she's carried five easy
+afore now. We had an argument that lasted twenty minutes more, and the
+fog driftin' in nigher all the time. At last he got sick of arguin',
+ripped out somethin' brisk and personal, and got his tin shop to movin'.
+
+“'You want to cross over to the ocean side,' I called after him. 'The
+Cut-through's been dredged at the bay end, remember.'
+
+“'Be hanged!' he yells, or more emphatic. And off he whizzed. I see him
+go, and fetched a long breath. Thanks to a merciful Providence, I'd come
+so fur without bein' buttered on the undercrust of that automobile or
+scalped with its crazy shover's bowie knife.
+
+“Ten minutes later I was beatin' out into the bay in my dory. All
+around was the fog, thin as poorhouse gruel so fur, but thickenin' every
+minute. I was worried; not for myself, you understand, but for that
+cowboy shover. I was afraid he wouldn't fetch t'other side of the
+Cut-through. There wa'n't much wind, and I had to make long tacks. I
+took the inshore channel, and kept listenin' all the time. And at last,
+when 'twas pretty dark and I was cal'latin' to be about abreast of the
+bay end of the Cut-through, I heard from somewheres ashore a dismal
+honkin' kind of noise, same as a wild goose might make if 'twas chokin'
+to death and not resigned to the worst.
+
+“'My land!' says I. 'It's happened!' And I come about and headed
+straight in for the beach. I struck it just alongside the gov'ment
+shanty. The engineers had knocked off work for the week, waitin' for
+supplies, but they hadn't took away their dunnage.
+
+“'Hi!' I yells, as I hauled up the dory. 'Hi-i-i! Billings, where be
+you?'
+
+“The honkin' stopped and back comes the answer; there was joy in it.
+
+“'What? Is that Cap'n Stitt?'
+
+“'Yes,' I sings out. 'Where be you?'
+
+“'I'm stuck out here in the middle of the crick. And there's a flood on.
+Help me, can't you?'
+
+“Next minute I was aboard the dory, rowin' her against the tide up the
+channel. Pretty quick I got where I could see him through the fog and
+dark. The auto was on the flat in the middle of the Cut-through, and
+the water was hub high already. Billings was standin' up on the for'ard
+thwart, makin' wet footmarks all over them expensive cushions.
+
+“'Lord,' says he, 'I sure am glad to see you, pard! Can we get to land,
+do you think?'
+
+“'Land?' says I, makin' the dory fast alongside and hoppin' out into the
+drink. ''Course we can land! What's the matter with your old derelict?
+Sprung a leak, has it?'
+
+“He went on to explain that the automobile had broke down when he struck
+the flat, and he couldn't get no farther. He'd been honkin' and howlin'
+for ten year at least, so he reckoned.
+
+“'Why in time,' says I, 'didn't you mind me and go up the ocean side?
+And why in nation didn't you go ashore and--But never mind that now. Let
+me think. Here! You set where you be.'
+
+“As I shoved off in the dory again he turned loose a distress signal.
+
+“'Where you goin'?' he yells. 'Say, pard, you ain't goin' to leave me
+here, are you?'
+
+“'I'll be back in a shake,' says I, layin' to my oars. 'Don't holler so!
+You'll have the life-savers down here, and then the joke'll be on us.
+Hush, can't you? I'll be right back!'
+
+“I rowed up channel a little ways, and then I sighted the place I
+was bound for. Them gov'ment folks had another shanty farther up the
+Cut-through. Moored out in front of it was a couple of big floats, for
+their stone sloops to tie up to at high water. The floats were made of
+empty kerosene barrels and planks, and they'd have held up a house easy.
+I run alongside the fust one, cut the anchor cable with my jackknife,
+and next minute I was navigatin' that float down channel, steerin' it
+with my oar and towin' the dory astern.
+
+“'Twas no slouch of a job, pilotin' that big float, but part by steerin'
+and part by polin' I managed to land her broadside on to the auto. I
+made her fast with the cable ends and went back after the other float.
+This one was a bigger job than the fust, but by and by that gas wagon,
+with planks under her and cable lashin's holdin' her firm, was restin'
+easy as a settin' hen between them two floats. I unshipped my mast,
+fetched it aboard the nighest float, and spread the sail over the
+biggest part of the brasswork and upholstery.
+
+“'There,' says I, 'if it rains durin' the night she'll keep pretty
+dry. Now I'll take the dory and row back to the shanty after some spare
+anchors there is there.'
+
+“'But what's it fur, pard?' asks Billings for the nine hundred and
+ninety-ninth time. 'Why don't we go where it's dry? The flood's risin'
+all the time.'
+
+“'Let it rise,' I says. 'I cal'late when it gets high enough them
+floats'll rise with it and lift the automobile up, too. If she's
+anchored bow and stern she'll hold, unless it comes on to blow a gale,
+and to-morrow mornin' at low tide maybe you can tinker her up so she'll
+go.'
+
+“'Go?' says he, like he was astonished. 'Do you mean to say you're
+reckonin' to save the CAR?'
+
+“'Good land!' I says, starin' at him. 'What else d'you s'pose? Think I'd
+let seventy-five hundred dollars' wuth of gilt-edged extravagance go to
+the bottom? What did you cal'late I was tryin' to save--the clam flat?
+Give me that dory rope; I'm goin' after them anchors. Sufferin' snakes!
+Where IS the dory? What have you done with it?'
+
+“He'd been holdin' the bight of the dory rodin'. I handed it to him so's
+he'd have somethin' to take up his mind. And, by time, he'd forgot all
+about it and let it drop! And the dory had gone adrift and was out of
+sight.
+
+“'Gosh!' says he, astonished-like. 'Pard, the son of a gun has slipped
+his halter!'
+
+“I was pretty mad--dories don't grow on every beach plum bush--but there
+wa'n't nothin' to say that fitted the case, so I didn't try.
+
+“'Humph!' says I. 'Well, I'll have to swim ashore, that's all, and go up
+to the station inlet after another boat. You stand by the ship. If she
+gets afloat afore I come back you honk and holler and I'll row after
+you. I'll fetch the anchors and we'll moor her wherever she happens to
+be. If she shouldn't float on an even keel, or goes to capsize, you jump
+overboard and swim ashore. I'll--'
+
+“'Swim?' says he, with a shake in his voice. 'Why, pard, I can't swim!'
+
+“I turned and looked at him. Shover of a two-mile-a-minute gold-plated
+butcher cart like that, a cowboy murderer that et his friends for
+breakfast--and couldn't swim! I fetched a kind of combination groan and
+sigh, turned back the sail, climbed aboard the automobile, and lit up my
+pipe.
+
+“'What are you settin' there for?' says he. 'What are you goin' to do?'
+
+“'Do?' says I. 'Wait, that's all--wait and smoke. We won't have to wait
+long.'
+
+“My prophesyin' was good. We didn't have to wait very long. It was pitch
+dark, foggy as ever, and the tide a-risin' fast. The floats got to be
+a-wash. I shinned out onto 'em, picked up the oar that had been left
+there, and took my seat again. Billings climbed in, too, only--and
+it kind of shows the change sence the previous evenin'--he was in the
+passenger cockpit astern, and I was for'ard in the pilot house. For a
+reckless daredevil he was actin' mighty fidgety.
+
+“And at last one of the floats swung off the sand. The automobile tipped
+scandalous. It looked as if we was goin' on our beam ends. Billings let
+out an awful yell. Then t'other float bobbed up and the whole shebang,
+car and all, drifted out and down the channel.
+
+“My lashin's held--I cal'lated they would. Soon's I was sure of that I
+grabbed up the oar and shoved it over the stern between the floats. I
+hoped I could round her to after we passed the mouth of the Cut-through,
+and make port on the inside beach. But not in that tide. Inside of five
+minutes I see 'twas no use; we was bound across the bay.
+
+“And now commenced a v'yage that beat any ever took sence Noah's time,
+I cal'late; and even Noah never went to sea in an automobile, though
+the one animal I had along was as much trouble as his whole menagerie.
+Billings was howlin' blue murder.
+
+“'Stop that bellerin'!' I ordered. 'Quit it, d'you hear! You'll have the
+station crew out after us, and they'll guy me till I can't rest. Shut
+up! If you don't, I'll--I'll swim ashore and leave you.'
+
+“I was takin' big chances, as I look at it now. He might have drawed a
+bowie knife or a lasso on me; 'cordin' to his yarns he'd butchered folks
+for a good sight less'n that. But he kept quiet this time, only gurglin'
+some when the ark tilted. I had time to think of another idee. You
+remember the dory sail, mast and all, was alongside that cart. I clewed
+up the canvas well as I could and managed to lash the mast up straight
+over the auto's bows. Then I shook out the sail.
+
+“'Here!' says I, turnin' to Billings. 'You hang on to that sheet. No,
+you needn't nuther. Make it fast to that cleat alongside.'
+
+“I couldn't see his face plain, but his voice had a funny tremble to it;
+reminded me of my own when I climbed out of that very cart after he'd
+jounced me down to Setuckit the day before.
+
+“'What?' he says. 'Wh-what? What sheet? I don't see any sheet. What do
+you want me to do?'
+
+“'Tie this line to that cleat. That cleat there! CLEAT, you lubber!
+CLEAT! That knob! MAKE IT FAST! Oh, my gosh t'mighty! Get out of my
+way!'
+
+“The critter had tied the sheet to the handle of the door instead of the
+one I meant, and the pull of the sail hauled the door open and pretty
+nigh ripped it off the hinges. I had to climb into the cockpit and
+straighten out the mess. I was losin' my temper; I do hate bunglin'
+seamanship aboard a craft of mine.
+
+“'But what'll become of us?' begs Billings. 'Will we drown?'
+
+“'What in tunket do we want to drown for? Ain't we got a good sailin'
+breeze and the whole bay to stay on top of--fifty foot of water and
+more?'
+
+“'Fifty foot!' he yells. 'Is there fifty foot of water underneath us
+now? Pard, you don't mean it!'
+
+“'Course I mean it. Good thing, too!'
+
+“'But fifty foot! It's enough to drown in ten times over!'
+
+“'Can't drown but once, can you? And I'd just as soon drown in fifty
+foot as four--ruther, 'cause 'twouldn't take so long.'
+
+“He didn't answer out loud; but I heard him talkin' to himself pretty
+constant.
+
+“We was well out in the bay by now, and the seas was a little mite more
+rugged--nothin' to hurt, you understand, but the floats was all foam,
+and once in a while we'd ship a little spray. And every time that
+happened Billings would jump and grab for somethin' solid--sometimes
+'twas the upholstery and sometimes 'twas me. He wa'n't on the thwart,
+but down in a heap on the cockpit floor.
+
+“'Let go of my leg!' I sings out, after we'd hit a high wave and that
+shover had made a more'n ordinary savage claw at my underpinnin'. 'You
+make me nervous. Drat this everlastin' fog! somethin'll bump into us if
+we don't look out. Here, you go for'ard and light them cruisin' lights.
+They ain't colored 'cordin' to regulations, but they'll have to do. Go
+for'ard! What you waitin' for?'
+
+“Well, it turned out that he didn't like to leave that cockpit. I was
+mad.
+
+“'Go for'ard there and light them lights!' I yelled, hangin' to the
+steerin' oar and keepin' the ark runnin' afore the wind.
+
+“'I won't!' he says, loud and emphatic. 'Think I'm a blame fool? I sure
+would be a jack rabbit to climb over them seats the way they're buckin'
+and light them lamps. You're talkin' through your hat!'
+
+“Well, I hadn't no business to do it, but, you see, I was on salt water,
+and skipper, as you might say, of the junk we was afloat in; and if
+there's one thing I never would stand it's mutiny. I hauled in the oar,
+jumped over the cockpit rail, and went for him. He see me comin', stood
+up, tried to get out of the way, and fell overboard backwards. Part of
+him lit on one of the floats, but the biggest part trailed in the water
+between the two. He clawed with his hands, but the planks was slippery,
+and he slid astern fast. Just as he reached the last plank and slid off
+and under I jumped after him and got him by the scruff of the neck. I
+had hold of the lashin' end with one hand, and we tailed out behind the
+ark, which was sloppin' along, graceful as an elephant on skates.
+
+“I was pretty well beat out when I yanked him into that cockpit
+again. Neither of us said anything for a spell, breath bein' scurce as
+di'monds. But when he'd collected some of his, he spoke.
+
+“'Pard,' he says, puffin', 'I'm much obleeged to you. I reckon I sure
+ain't treated you right. If it hadn't been for you that time I'd--'
+
+“But I was b'ilin' over. I whirled on him like a teetotum.
+
+“'Drat your hide!' I says. 'When you speak to your officer you say sir!
+And now you go for'ard and light them lights. Don't you answer back!
+If you do I'll fix you so's you'll never ship aboard another vessel!
+For'ard there! Lively, you lubber, lively!'
+
+“He went for'ard, takin' consider'ble time and hangin' on for dear life.
+But somehow or 'nuther he got the lights to goin'; and all the time
+I hazed him terrible. I was mate on an Australian packet afore I went
+fishin' to the Banks, and I can haze some. I blackguarded that shover
+awful.
+
+“'Ripperty-rip your everlastin' blankety-blanked dough head!' I roared
+at him. 'You ain't wuth the weight to sink you. For'ard there and get
+that fog horn to goin'! And keep it goin'! Lively, you sculpin! Don't
+you open your mouth to me!'
+
+“Well, all night we sloshed along, straight acrost the bay. We must
+have been a curious sight to look at. The floats was awash, so that the
+automobile looked like she was ridin' the waves all by her lonesome; the
+lamps was blazin' at either side of the bow; Billings was a-tootin'
+the rubber fog horn as if he was wound up; and I was standin' on the
+cushions amidships, keepin' the whole calabash afore the wind.
+
+“We never met another craft the whole night through. Yes, we did meet
+one. Old Ezra Cahoon, of Harniss, was out in his dory stealin' quahaugs
+from Seth Andrews's bed over nigh the Wapatomac shore. Ezra stayed long
+enough to get one good glimpse of us as we bust through the fog; then he
+cut his rodin' and laid to his oars, bound for home and mother. We could
+hear him screech for half an hour after he left us.
+
+“Ez told next day that the devil had come ridin' acrost the bay after
+him in a chariot of fire. Said he could smell the brimstone and hear
+the trumpet callin' him to judgment. Likewise he hove in a lot of
+particulars concernin' the personal appearance of the Old Boy himself,
+who, he said, was standin' up wavin' a red-hot pitchfork. Some folks
+might have been flattered at bein' took for such a famous character; but
+I wa'n't; I'm retirin' by nature, and besides, Ez's description
+wa'n't cal'lated to bust a body's vanity b'iler. I was prouder of the
+consequences, the same bein' that Ezra signed the Good Templars' pledge
+that afternoon, and kept it for three whole months, just sixty-nine days
+longer than any previous attack within the memory of man had lasted.
+
+“And finally, just as mornin' was breakin', the bows of the floats slid
+easy and slick up on a hard, sandy beach. Then the sun riz and the
+fog lifted, and there we was within sight of the South Ostable
+meetin'-house. We'd sailed eighteen miles in that ark and made a better
+landin' blindfold than we ever could have made on purpose.
+
+“I hauled down the sail, unshipped the mast, and jumped ashore to find
+a rock big enough to use for a makeshift anchor. It wa'n't more'n three
+minutes after we fust struck afore my boots hit dry ground, but Billings
+beat me one hundred and seventy seconds, at that. When I had time to
+look at that shover man he was a cable's length from high-tide mark,
+settin' down and grippin' a bunch of beach grass as if he was afeard the
+sand was goin' to slide from under him; and you never seen a yallerer,
+more upset critter in your born days.
+
+“Well, I got the ark anchored, after a fashion, and then we walked up to
+the South Ostable tavern. Peleg Small, who runs the place, he knows me,
+so he let me have a room and I turned in for a nap. I slept about three
+hours. When I woke up I started out to hunt the automobile and Billings.
+Both of 'em looked consider'ble better than they had when I see 'em
+last. The shover had got a gang of men and they'd got the gas cart
+ashore, and Billings and a blacksmith was workin' over--or rather
+under--the clockwork.
+
+“'Hello!' I hails, comin' alongside.
+
+“Billings sticks his head out from under the tinware.
+
+“'Hi, pard!' says he. I noticed he hadn't called me 'Grace' nor 'Dewey'
+for a long spell. Hi, pard,' he says, gettin' to his feet, 'the old gal
+ain't hurt a hair. She'll be good as ever in a couple of hours. Then you
+and me can start for Orham.'
+
+“'In HER?' says I.
+
+“'Sure,' he says.
+
+“'Not by a jugful!' says I, emphatic. 'I'll borrer a boat to get to
+Orham in, when I'm ready to go. You won't ketch me in that man killer
+again; and you can call me a coward all you want to!'
+
+“'A coward?' says he. 'You a coward? And--Why, you was in that car all
+night!'
+
+“'Oh!' I says. 'Last night was diff'rent. The thing was on water then,
+and when I've got enough water underneath me I know I'm safe.'
+
+“'Safe!' he sings out. 'SAFE! Well, by--gosh! Pard, I hate to say it,
+but it's the Lord's truth--you had me doin' my “Now I lay me's”!'
+
+“For a minute we looked at each other. Then says I, sort of thinkin' out
+loud, 'I cal'late,' I says, 'that whether a man's brave or not depends
+consider'ble on whether he's used to his latitude. It's all accordin'.
+It lays in the bringin' up, as the duck said when the hen tried to
+swim.'
+
+“He nodded solemn. 'Pard,' says he, 'I sure reckon you've called the
+turn. Let's shake hands on it.'
+
+“So we shook; and . . .”
+
+Captain Bailey stopped short and sprang from his chair. “There's my
+train comin',” he shouted. “Good-by, Sol! So long, Barzilla! Keep away
+from fortune tellers and pretty servant girls or YOU'LL be gettin'
+married pretty soon. Good-by.”
+
+He darted out of the waiting room and his companions followed. Mr.
+Wingate, having a few final calls to make, left the station soon
+afterwards and did not return until evening. And that evening he heard
+news which surprised him.
+
+As he and Captain Sol were exchanging a last handshake on the platform,
+Barzilla said:
+
+“Well, Sol, I've enjoyed loafin' around here and yarnin' with you, same
+as I always do. I'll be over again in a month or so and we'll have some
+more.”
+
+The Captain shook his head. “I may not be here then, Barzilla,” he
+observed.
+
+“May not be here? What do you mean by that?”
+
+“I mean that I don't know exactly where I shall be. I shan't be depot
+master, anyway.”
+
+“Shan't be depot master? YOU won't? Why, what on airth--”
+
+“I sent in my resignation four days ago. Nobody knows it, except you,
+not even Issy, but the new depot master for East Harniss will be here to
+take my place on the mornin' of the twelfth, that's two days off.”
+
+“Why! Why! SOL!”
+
+“Yes. Keep mum about it. I'll--I'll let you know what I decide to do. I
+ain't settled it myself yet. Good-by, Barzilla.”
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XVII
+
+ISSY'S REVENGE
+
+
+The following morning, at nine o'clock, Issy McKay sat upon the heap of
+rusty chain cable outside the blacksmith's shop at Denboro, reading,
+as usual, a love story. Issy was taking a “day off.” He had begged
+permission of Captain Sol Berry, the permission had been granted,
+and Issy had come over to Denboro, the village eight miles above East
+Harniss, in his “power dory,” or gasoline boat, the Lady May. The Lady
+May was a relic of the time before Issy was assistant depot master, when
+he gained a precarious living by quahauging, separating the reluctant
+bivalve from its muddy house on the bay bottom with an iron rake, the
+handle of which was forty feet long. Issy had been seized with a desire
+to try quahauging once more, hence his holiday. The rake was broken
+and he had put in at Denboro to have it fixed. While the blacksmith was
+busy, Issy laboriously spelled out the harrowing chapters of “Vivian,
+the Shop Girl; or Lord Lyndhurst's Lowly Love.”
+
+A grinning, freckled face peered cautiously around the corner of the
+blacksmith's front fence. Then an overripe potato whizzed through the
+air and burst against the shop wall a few inches from the reader's head.
+Issy jumped.
+
+“You--you everlastin' young ones, you!” he shouted fiercely. “If I
+git my hands onto you, you'll wish you'd--I see you hidin' behind that
+fence.”
+
+Two barefooted little figures danced provokingly in the roadway and two
+shrill voices chanted in derision:
+
+     “Is McKay--Is McKay--
+     Makes the Injuns run away!
+
+“Scalped anybody lately, Issy?”
+
+Alas for the indiscretions of youth! The tale of Issy's early expedition
+in search of scalps and glory was known from one end of Ostable County
+to the other. It had made him famous, in a way.
+
+“If I git a-holt of you kids, I'll bet there'll be some scalpin' done,”
+ retorted the persecuted one, rising from the heap of cable.
+
+A second potato burst like a bombshell on the shingles behind him.
+McKay was a good general, in that he knew when it was wisest to retreat.
+Shoving the paper novel into his overalls pocket, he entered the shop.
+
+“What's the matter, Is?” inquired the grinning blacksmith. Most people
+grinned when they spoke to Issy. “Gittin' too hot outside there, was it?
+Why don't you tomahawk 'em and have 'em for supper?”
+
+“Humph!” grunted the offended quahauger. “Don't git gay now, Jake
+Larkin. You hurry up with that rake.”
+
+“Oh, all right, Is. Don't sculp ME; I ain't done nothin'. What's the
+news over to East Harniss?”
+
+“Oh, I don't know. Not much. Sam Bartlett, he started for Boston this
+mornin'.”
+
+“Who? Sam Bartlett? I want to know! Thought he was down for six weeks.
+You sure about that, Is?”
+
+“Course I'm sure. I was up to the depot and see him buy his ticket and
+git on the cars.”
+
+“Did, hey? Humph! So Sam's gone. Gertie Higgins still over to her Aunt
+Hannah's at Trumet?”
+
+Issy looked at his questioner. “Why, yes,” he said suspiciously.
+“I s'pose she's there. Fact, I know she is. Pat Starkey's doin' the
+telegraphin' while she's away. What made you ask that?”
+
+The blacksmith chuckled. “Oh, nothin',” he said. “How's her dad's
+dyspepsy? Had any more of them sudden attacks of his? I cal'late they'll
+take the old man off some of these days, won't they? I hear the doctor
+thinks there's more heart than stomach in them attacks.”
+
+But the skipper of the Lady May was not to be put off thus. “What you
+drivin' at, Jake?” he demanded. “What's Sam Bartlett's goin' away got to
+do with Gertie Higgins?”
+
+In his eagerness he stepped to Mr. Larkin's side. The blacksmith caught
+sight of the novel in his customer's pocket. He snatched it forth.
+
+“What you readin' now, Is?” he demanded. “More blood and brimstone?
+'Vivy Ann, the Shop Girl!' Gee! Wow!”
+
+“You gimme that book, Jake Larkin! Gimme it now!”
+
+Fending the frantic quahauger off with one mighty arm, the blacksmith
+proceeded to read aloud:
+
+“'Darlin',' cried Lord Lyndhurst, strainin' the beautiful and blushin'
+maid to his manly bosom, 'you are mine at last. Mine! No--' Jerushy! a
+love story! Why, Issy! I didn't know you was in love. Who's the lucky
+girl? Send me an invite to your weddin', won't you?”
+
+Issy's face was a fiery red. He tore the precious volume from its
+desecrator's hand, losing the pictured cover in the struggle.
+
+“You--you pesky fool!” he shouted. “You mind your own business.”
+
+The blacksmith roared in glee. “Oh, ho!” he cried. “Issy's in love and
+I never guessed it. Aw, say, Is, don't be mean! Who is she? Have you
+strained her to your manly bosom yit? What's her name?”
+
+“Shut up!” shrieked Issy, and strode out of the shop. His tormentor
+begged him not to “go off mad,” and shouted sarcastic sympathy after
+him. But Mr. McKay heeded not. He stalked angrily along the sidewalk.
+Then espying just ahead of him the boys who had thrown the potatoes,
+he paused, turned, and walking down the carriageway at the side of the
+blacksmith's place of business, sat down upon a sawhorse under one of
+its rear windows. He could, at least, be alone here and think; and he
+wanted to think.
+
+For Issy--although he didn't look it--was deeply interested in another
+love story as well as that in his pocket. This one was printed upon
+his heart's pages, and in it he was the hero, while the heroine--the
+unsuspecting heroine--was Gertie Higgins, daughter of Beriah Higgins,
+once a fisherman, now the crotchety and dyspeptic proprietor of the
+“general store” and postmaster at East Harniss.
+
+This story began when Issy first acquired the Lady May. The Higgins home
+stood on the slope close to the boat landing, and when Issy came in from
+quahauging, Gertie was likely to be in the back yard, hanging out the
+clothes or watering the flower garden. Sometimes she spoke to him of her
+own accord, concerning the weather or other important topics. Once
+she even asked him if he were going to the Fourth of July ball at the
+town-hall. It took him until the next morning--like other warriors, Issy
+was cursed with shyness--to summon courage enough to ask her to go to
+the ball with him. Then he found it was too late; she was going with
+her cousin, Lennie Bloomer. But he felt that she had offered him the
+opportunity, and was happy and hopeful accordingly.
+
+This, however, was before she went to Boston to study telegraphy. When
+she returned, with a picture hat and a Boston accent, it was to preside
+at the telegraph instrument in the little room adjoining the post office
+at her father's store. When Issy bowed blushingly outside the window
+of the telegraph room, he received only the airiest of frigid nods. Was
+there what Lord Lyndhurst would have called “another”? It would seem
+not. Old Mr. Higgins, her father, encouraged no bows nor attentions from
+young men, and Gertie herself did not appear to desire them. So Issy
+gave up his tales of savage butchery for those of love and blisses,
+adored in silence, and hoped--always hoped.
+
+But why had the blacksmith seemed surprised at the departure of Sam
+Bartlett, the “dudey” vacationist from the city, whose father had, years
+ago, been Beriah Higgins's partner in the fish business? And why had he
+coupled the Bartlett name with that of Gertie, who had been visiting her
+father's maiden sister at Trumet, the village next below East Harniss,
+as Denboro is the next above it? Issy's suspicions were aroused, and he
+wondered.
+
+Suddenly he heard voices in the shop above him. The window was open and
+he heard them plainly.
+
+“Well! WELL!” It was the blacksmith who uttered the exclamation. “Why,
+Bartlett, how be you? What you doin' over here? Thought you'd gone back
+to Boston. I heard you had.”
+
+Slowly, cautiously, the astonished quahauger rose from the sawhorse and
+peered over the window sill. There were two visitors in the shop. One
+was Ed Burns, proprietor of the Denboro Hotel and livery stable. The
+other was Sam Bartlett, the very same who had left East Harniss that
+morning, bound, ostensibly, for Boston. Issy sank back again and
+listened.
+
+“Yes, yes!” he heard Sam say impatiently; “I know, but--see here, Jake,
+where can I hire a horse in this God-forsaken town?”
+
+“Well, well, Sam!” continued Larkin. “I was just figurin' that Beriah
+had got the best of you after all, and you'd had to give it up for this
+time. Thinks I, it's too bad! Just because your dad and Beriah Higgins
+had such a deuce of a row when they bust up in the fish trade, it's a
+shame that he won't hark to your keepin' comp'ny with Gertie. And you
+doin' so well; makin' twenty dollars a week up to the city--Ed told me
+that--and--”
+
+“Yes, yes! But never mind that. Where can I get a horse? I've got to be
+in Trumet by eight to-night sure.”
+
+“Trumet? Why, that's where Gertie is, ain't it?”
+
+“Look a-here, Jake,” broke in the livery-stable keeper. “I'll tell you
+how 'tis. Oh, it's all right, Sam! Jake knows the most of it; I told
+him. He can keep his mouth shut, and he don't like old crank Higgins any
+better'n you and me do. Jake, Sam here and Gertie had fixed it up to run
+off and git married to-night. He was to pretend to start for Boston this
+mornin'. Bought a ticket and all, so's to throw Beriah off the scent.
+He was to get off the train here at Denboro and I was to let him have a
+horse 'n' buggy. Then, this afternoon, he was goin' to drive through the
+wood roads around to Trumet and be at the Baptist Church there at eight
+to-night sharp. Gertie's Aunt Hannah, she's had her orders, and bein' as
+big a crank as her brother, she don't let the girl out of her sight. But
+there's a fair at the church and Auntie's tendin' a table. Gertie, she
+steps out to the cloak room to git a handkerchief which she's forgot;
+see? And she hops into Sam's buggy and away they go to the minister's.
+After they're once hitched Old Dyspepsy can go to pot and see the kittle
+bile.”
+
+“Bully! By gum, that's fine! Won't Beriah rip some, hey?”
+
+“Yes, but there's the dickens to pay. I've only got two horses in the
+stable to-day. The rest are let. And the two I've got--one's old Bill,
+and he couldn't go twenty mile to save his hide. And t'other's the gray
+mare, and blamed if she didn't git cast last night and use up her off
+hind leg so's she can't step. And Sam's GOT to have a horse. Where can I
+git one?”
+
+“Hum! Have you tried Haynes's?”
+
+“Yes, yes! And Lathrop's and Eldredge's. Can't git a team for love nor
+money.”
+
+“Sho! And he can't go by train?”
+
+“What? With Beriah postmaster at East Harniss and always nosin' through
+every train that stops there? You can't fetch Trumet by train without
+stoppin' at East Harniss and--What was that?”
+
+“I don't know. What was it?”
+
+“Sounded like somethin' outside that back winder.”
+
+The two ran to the window and looked out. All they saw was an overturned
+sawhorse and two or three hens scratching vigorously.
+
+“Guess 'twas the chickens, most likely,” observed the blacksmith. Then,
+striking his blackened palms together, he exclaimed:
+
+“By time! I've thought of somethin'! Is McKay is in town to-day. Come
+over in the Lady May. She's a gasoline boat. Is would take Sam to Trumet
+for two or three dollars, I'll bet. And he's such a fool head that he
+wouldn't ask questions nor suspicion nothin'. 'Twould be faster'n a
+horse and enough sight less risky.”
+
+And just then the “fool head,” his brain whirling under its carroty
+thatch, was hurrying blindly up the main street, bound somewhere, he
+wasn't certain where.
+
+A mushy apple exploded between his shoulders, but he did not even turn
+around. So THIS was what the blacksmith meant! This was why Mr. Higgins
+watched his daughter so closely. This was why Gertie had been sent off
+to Trumet. She had met the Bartlett miscreant in Boston; they had been
+together there; had fallen in love and--He gritted his teeth and shook
+his fists almost in the face of old Deacon Pratt, who, knowing the
+McKay penchant for slaughter, had serious thoughts of sending for the
+constable.
+
+Beriah Higgins must be warned, of course, but how? To telegraph was
+to put Pat Starkey in possession of the secret, and Pat was too good a
+friend of Gertie's to be trusted. There was no telephone at the store.
+Issy entered the combination grocery store and post office.
+
+“Has the down mail closed yet?” he panted.
+
+The postmaster looked out of his little window.
+
+“Yes,” he replied. “Why? Got a letter you want to go? Take it up to the
+depot. The train's due, but 'tain't here yit. If you run you can make
+it.”
+
+Issy took a card from his pocket. It was the business card of the firm
+to whom he sold his quahaugs. On the back of the card he wrote in pencil
+as follows:
+
+“Mr. Beriah Higgins, your daughter Gertrude is going to meet Sam'l
+Bartlett at the Baptist Church in Trumet at 8 P.M. to-night and get
+married to him. LOOK OUT!!!”
+
+After an instant's consideration he signed it “A True Friend,” this
+being in emulation of certain heroes of the Deadwood Dick variety. Then
+he put the card into an envelope and ran at top speed to the railway
+station. The train came in as he reached the platform. The baggage
+master was standing in the door of his car.
+
+“Here, mister!” panted Issy. “Jest hand this letter to Beriah Higgins
+when he takes the mail bag at East Harniss, won't you? It's mighty
+important. Don't forgit. Thanks.”
+
+The train moved off. Issy stared after it, grinning malevolently.
+Higgins would get that note in ample time to send word to the watchful
+Aunt Hannah. When the unsuspecting eloper reached the Trumet church, it
+would be the aunt, not the niece, who awaited him. Still grinning, Mr.
+McKay walked off the platform, and into the arms of Ed Burns, the stable
+keeper, and Sam Bartlett, his loathed and favored rival.
+
+“Here he is!” shouted Burns. “Now we've got him.”
+
+The foiler of the plot turned pale. Was his secret discovered? But no;
+his captors began talking eagerly, and gradually the sense of their
+pleadings became plain. They wanted him--HIM, of all people--to convey
+Bartlett to Trumet in the Lady May.
+
+“You see, it's a business meetin',” urged Burns. “Sam's got to be there
+by ha'f past seven or he'll--he won't win on the deal, will you, Sam?
+Say yes, Issy; that's a good feller. He'll give you--I don't know's he
+won't give you five dollars.”
+
+“Ten,” cried Bartlett. “And I'll never forget it, either. Will you, Is?”
+
+A mighty “No!” was trembling on Issy's tongue. But before it was uttered
+Burns spoke again.
+
+“McKay's got the best boat in these parts,” he urged. “She's got a
+tiptop engine in her, and--”
+
+The word “engine” dropped into the whirlpool of Issy's thoughts with a
+familiar sound. In the chapter of “Vivian” that he had just finished,
+the beautiful shopgirl was imprisoned on board the yacht of the
+millionaire kidnaper, while the hero, in his own yacht, was miles
+astern. But the hero's faithful friend, disguised as a stoker, was
+tampering with the villain's engine. A vague idea began to form in
+Issy's brain. Once get the would-be eloper aboard the Lady May, and,
+even though the warning note should remain undelivered, he--
+
+Issy smiled, and the ghastliness of that smile was unnoticed by his
+companions.
+
+“I--I'll do it,” he cried. “By mighty! I WILL do it. You be at the wharf
+here at four o'clock. I wouldn't do it for everybody, Sam Bartlett, but
+for you I'd do consider'ble, just now. And I don't want your ten dollars
+nuther.”
+
+
+Doctoring an engine may be easy enough--in stories. But to doctor a
+gasoline engine so that it will run for a certain length of time and
+THEN break down is not so easy. Three o'clock came and the problem was
+still unsolved. Issy, the perspiration running down his face, stood
+up in the Lady May's cockpit and looked out across the bay, smooth and
+glassy in the afternoon sun.
+
+The sky overhead was clear and blue, but along the eastern and southern
+horizon was a gray bank of cloud, heaped in tumbled masses.
+
+A sunburned lobsterman in rubber boots and a sou'wester was smoking on
+the wharf.
+
+“What time you goin' to start for home, Is?” he asked.
+
+“Oh, in an hour or so,” was the absent-minded reply.
+
+“Humph! You'd better cast off afore that or you'll be fog bound. It'll
+be thicker'n dock mud toward sundown, and you'll fetch up in Waptomac
+'stead of East Harniss, 'thout you've got a good compass.”
+
+“Oh, my compass is all right,” began Issy, and stopped short.
+The lobsterman made other attempts at conversation, but they were
+unproductive. McKay was gazing at the growing fog bank and thinking
+hard. To doctor an engine may be difficult, but to get lost in a fog--He
+took the compass from the glass-lidded binnacle by the wheel, and
+carrying it into the little cabin, placed it in the cuddy forward.
+
+It was nearer five than four when the Lady May, her engine barking
+aggressively, moved out of Denboro Harbor. Mr. Bartlett, the passenger,
+had been on time and had fumed and fretted at the delay. But Issy was
+deliberation itself. He had forgotten his quahaug rake, and the lapse
+of memory entailed a trip to the blacksmith's. Then the gasoline tank
+needed filling and the battery had to be overhauled.
+
+“Are you sure you can make it?” queried Sam anxiously. “It's important,
+I tell you. Mighty important.”
+
+The skipper snorted in disgust. “Make it?” he repeated. “If the Lady May
+can't make fourteen mile in two hours--let alone two'n a ha'f--then I
+don't know her. She's one of them boats you read about, she is.”
+
+The Cape makes a wide bend between Denboro and Trumet. The distance
+between these towns is twenty long, curved miles over the road; by water
+it is reduced to a straight fourteen. And midway between the two, at the
+center of the curve, is East Harniss.
+
+The Lady May coughed briskly on. There was no sea, and she sent long,
+widening ripples from each side of her bow. Bartlett, leaning over the
+rail, gazed impatiently ahead. Issy, sprawled on the bench by the wheel,
+was muttering to himself. Occasionally he glanced toward the east. The
+gray fog bank was now half way to the zenith and approaching rapidly.
+The eastern shore had disappeared.
+
+“Is! Hi, Is! What are you doing? Don't kill him before my eyes.”
+
+Issy came out of his trance with a start.
+
+“What--what's that?” he asked. His passenger was grinning broadly.
+
+“What? Kill who?”
+
+“Why, the big chief, or whoever you had under your knee just then.
+You've been rolling your eyes and punching air with your fist for the
+last five minutes. I was getting scared. You're an unmerciful sinner
+when you get started, ain't you, Is? Who was the victim that time? 'Man
+Afraid of Hot Water'? or who?”
+
+The skipper scowled. He shoved the fist into his pocket.
+
+“Naw,” he growled. “'Twa'n't.”
+
+“So? Not an Indian? Then it must have been a white man. Some fellow
+after your girl, perhaps. Hey?”
+
+The disconcerted Issy was speechless. His companion's chance shot had
+scored a bull's-eye. Sam whooped.
+
+“That's it!” he crowed. “Sure thing! Give it to him, Is! Don't spare
+him.”
+
+Mr. McKay chokingly admitted that he “wa'n't goin' to.”
+
+“Ho, ho! That's the stuff! But who's SHE, Is? When are you going to
+marry her?”
+
+Issy grunted spitefully. “You ain't married yourself--not yit,” he
+observed, with concealed sarcasm.
+
+The unsuspecting Bartlett laughed in triumph. “No,” he said. “I'm not,
+that's a fact; but maybe I'm going to be some of these days. It looked
+pretty dubious for a while, but now it's all right.”
+
+“'Tis, hey? You're sure about that, be you?”
+
+“Guess I am. Great Scott! what's that? Fog?”
+
+A damp breath blew across the boat. The clouds covered the sky overhead
+and the bay to port. The fog was pouring like smoke across the water.
+
+“Fog, by thunder!” exclaimed Bartlett.
+
+Issy smiled. “Hum! Yes, 'tis fog, ain't it?” he observed.
+
+“But what'll we do? It'll be here in a minute, won't it?”
+
+“Shouldn't be a mite surprised. Looks 's if twas here now.”
+
+The fog came on. It reached the Lady May, passed over her, and shut her
+within gray, wet walls. It was impossible to see a length from her side.
+Sam swore emphatically. The skipper was provokingly calm. He stepped to
+the engine, bent over it, and then returned to the wheel.
+
+“What are you doing?” demanded Bartlett.
+
+“Slowin' down, of course. Can't run more'n ha'f speed in a fog like
+this. 'Tain't safe.”
+
+“Safe! What do I care? I want to get to Trumet.”
+
+“Yes? Well, maybe we'll git there if we have luck.”
+
+“You idiot! We've GOT to get there. How can you tell which way to steer?
+Get your compass, man! get your compass!”
+
+“Ain't got no compass,” was the sulky answer. “Left it to home.”
+
+“Why, no, you didn't. I--”
+
+“I tell you I did. 'Twas careless of me, I know, but--”
+
+“But I say you didn't. When you went uptown after that quahaug rake I
+explored this craft of yours some. The compass is in that little closet
+at the end of the cabin. I'll get it.”
+
+He rose to his feet. Issy sprang forward and seized him by the arm.
+
+“Set down!” he yelled. “Who's runnin' this boat, you or me?”
+
+The astounded passenger stared at his companion.
+
+“Why, you are,” he replied. “But that's no reason--What's the matter
+with you, anyway? Have your dime novels driven you loony?”
+
+Issy hesitated. For a moment chagrin and rage at this sudden upset of
+his schemes had gotten the better of his prudence. But Bartlett was
+taller than he and broad in proportion. And valor--except of the
+imaginative brand--was not Issy's strong point.
+
+“There, there, Sam!” he explained, smiling crookedly. “You mustn't mind
+me. I'm sort of nervous, I guess. And you mustn't hop up and down in a
+boat that way. You set still and I'll fetch the compass.”
+
+He stumbled across the cockpit and disappeared in the dusk of the cabin.
+Finding that compass took a long time. Sam lost patience.
+
+“What's the matter?” he demanded. “Can't you find it? Shall I come?”
+
+“No, no!” screamed Issy vehemently. “Stay where you be. Catch a-holt of
+that wheel. We'll be spinnin' circles if you don't. I'm a-comin'.”
+
+But it was another five minutes before he emerged from the cabin,
+carrying the compass box very carefully with both hands. He placed it in
+the binnacle and closed the glass lid.
+
+“'Twas catched in a bluefish line,” he explained. “All snarled up,
+'twas.”
+
+Sam peered through the glass at the compass.
+
+“Thunder!” he exclaimed. “I should say we had spun around. Instead of
+north being off here where I thought it was, it's 'way out to the right.
+Queer how fog'll mix a fellow up. Trumet's about northeast, isn't it?”
+
+“No'theast by no'th's the course. Keep her just there.”
+
+The Lady May, still at half speed, kept on through the mist. Time
+passed. The twilight, made darker still by the fog, deepened. They lit
+the lantern in order to see the compass card. Issy had the wheel now.
+Sam was forward, keeping a lookout and fretting at the delay.
+
+“It's seven o'clock already,” he cried. “For Heaven's sake, how late
+will you be? I've got to be there by quarter of eight. D'you hear? I've
+GOT to.”
+
+“Well, we're gittin' there. Can't expect to travel so fast with part of
+the power off. You'll be where you're goin' full as soon as you want to
+be, I cal'late.”
+
+And he chuckled.
+
+Another half hour and, through the wet dimness, a light flashed,
+vanished, and flashed again. Issy saw it and smiled grimly. Bartlett saw
+it and shouted.
+
+“'What's that light?” he cried. “Did you see it? There it is, off
+there.”
+
+“I see it. There's a light at Trumet Neck, ain't there?”
+
+“Humph! It's been years since I was there, but I thought Trumet light
+was steady. However--”
+
+“Ain't that the wharf ahead?”
+
+Sure enough, out of the dark loomed the bulk of a small wharf, with
+catboats at anchor near it. Higher up, somewhere on the shore, were the
+lighted windows of a building.
+
+“By thunder, we're here!” exclaimed Sam, and drew a long breath.
+
+Issy shut off the power altogether, and the Lady May slid easily up to
+the wharf. Feverishly her skipper made her fast.
+
+“Yes, sir!” he cried exultantly. “We're here. And no Black Rover nor
+anybody else ever done a better piece of steerin' than that, nuther.”
+
+He clambered over the stringpiece, right at the heels of his impatient
+but grateful passenger. Sam's thanks were profuse and sincere.
+
+“I'll never forget it, Is,” he declared. “I'll never forget it. And
+you'll have to let me pay you the--What makes you shake so?”
+
+Issy pulled his arm away and stepped back.
+
+“I'll never forget it, Is,” continued Sam. “I--Why! What--?”
+
+He was standing at the shore end of the wharf, gazing up at the lighted
+windows. They were those of a dwelling house--an old-fashioned house
+with a back yard sloping down to the landing.
+
+And then Issy McKay leaned forward and spoke in his ear.
+
+“You bet you won't forgit it, Sam Bartlett!” he crowed, in trembling but
+delicious triumph. “You bet you won't! I've fixed you just the same as
+the Black Rover fixed the mutineers. Run off with my girl, will ye? And
+marry her, will ye? I--”
+
+Sam interrupted him. “Why! WHY!” he cried. “That's--that's Gertie's
+house! This isn't Trumet! IT'S EAST HARNISS!”
+
+The next moment he was seized from behind. The skipper's arms were
+around his waist and the skipper's thin legs twisted about his own. They
+fell together upon the sand and, as they rolled and struggled, Issy's
+yells rose loud and high.
+
+“Mr. Higgins!” he shrieked. “Mr. Higgins! Come on! I've got him! I've
+got the feller that's tryin' to steal your daughter! Come on! I've got
+him! I'm hangin' to him!”
+
+A door banged open. Some one rushed down the walk. And then a girl's
+voice cried in alarm:
+
+“What is it? Who is it? What IS the matter?”
+
+And from the bundle of legs and arms on the ground two voices exclaimed:
+“GERTIE!”
+
+“But where IS your father?” asked Sam. Issy asked nothing. He merely sat
+still and listened.
+
+“Why, he's at Trumet. At least I suppose he is. Mrs. Jones--she's gone
+to telephone to him now--says that he came home this morning with one
+of those dreadful 'attacks' of his. And after dinner he seemed so sick
+that, when she went for the doctor, she wired me at Auntie's to come
+home. I didn't want to come--you know why--but I COULDN'T let him die
+alone. And so I caught the three o'clock train and came. I knew you'd
+forgive me. But it seems that when Mrs. Jones came back with the doctor
+they found father up and dressed and storming like a crazy man. He had
+received some sort of a letter; he wouldn't say what. And, in spite of
+all they could do, he insisted on going out. And Cap'n Berry--the depot
+master--says he went to Trumet on the afternoon freight. We must have
+passed each other on the way. And I'm so--But why are you HERE? And what
+were you and Issy doing? And--”
+
+Her lover broke in eagerly. “Then you're alone now?” he asked.
+
+“Yes, but--”
+
+“Good! Your father can't get a train back from Trumet before to-morrow
+morning. I don't know what this letter was--but never mind. Perhaps
+friend McKay knows more about it. It may be that Mr. Higgins is waiting
+now outside the Baptist church. Gertie, now's our chance. You come with
+me right up to the minister's. He's a friend of mine. He understands.
+He'll marry us, I know. Come! We mustn't lose a minute. Your dad may
+take a notion to drive back.”
+
+He led her off up the lane, she protesting, he urging. At the corner of
+the house he turned.
+
+“I say, Is!” he called. “Don't you want to come to the wedding? Seems
+to me we owe you that, considering all you've done to help it along. Or
+perhaps you want to stay and fix that compass of yours.”
+
+Issy didn't answer. Some time after they had gone he arose from the
+ground and stumbled home. That night he put a paper novel into the
+stove. Next morning, before going to the depot, he removed an iron spike
+from the Lady May's compass box. The needle swung back to its proper
+position.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XVIII
+
+THE MOUNTAIN AND MAHOMET
+
+
+The eleventh of July. The little Berry house stood high on its joists
+and rollers, in the middle of the Hill Boulevard, directly opposite
+the Edwards lot. Close behind it loomed the big “Colonial.” Another
+twenty-four hours, and, even at its one-horse gait, the depot master's
+dwelling would be beyond the strip of Edwards fence. The “Colonial”
+ would be ready to move on the lot, and Olive Edwards, the widow, would
+be obliged to leave her home. In fact, Mr. Williams had notified
+her that she and her few belongings must be off the premises by the
+afternoon of the twelfth.
+
+The great Williams was in high good-humor. He chuckled as he talked with
+his foreman, and the foreman chuckled in return. Simeon Phinney did
+not chuckle. He was anxious and worried, and even the news of Gertie
+Higgins's runaway marriage, brought to him by Obed Gott, who--having
+been so recently the victim of another unexpected matrimonial
+alliance--was wickedly happy over the postmaster's discomfiture, did not
+interest him greatly.
+
+“Well, I wonder who'll be the next couple,” speculated Obed. “First
+Polena and old Hardee, then Gertie Higgins and Sam Bartlett! I declare,
+Sim, gettin' married unbeknownst to anybody must be catchin', like the
+measles. Nobody's safe unless they've got a wife or husband livin'. Me
+and Sol Berry are old baches--we'd better get vaccinated or WE may come
+down with the disease. Ho! ho!”
+
+After dinner Mr. Phinney went from his home to the depot. Captain Sol
+was sitting in the ticket office, with the door shut. On the platform,
+forlornly sprawled upon the baggage truck, was Issy McKay, the picture
+of desolation. He started nervously when he heard Simeon's step. As
+yet Issy's part in the Bartlett-Higgins episode was unknown to the
+townspeople. Sam and Gertie had considerately kept silence. Beriah had
+not learned who sent him the warning note, the unlucky missive which had
+brought his troubles to a climax. But he was bound to learn it, he would
+find out soon, and then--No wonder Issy groaned.
+
+“Come in here, Sim,” said the depot master. Phinney entered the ticket
+office.
+
+“Shut the door,” commanded the Captain. The order was obeyed. “Well,
+what is it?” asked Berry.
+
+“Why, I just run in to see you a minute, Sol, that's all. What are you
+shut up in here all alone for?”
+
+“'Cause I want to be alone. There's been more than a thousand folks in
+this depot so far to-day, seems so, and they all wanted to talk. I don't
+feel like talkin'.”
+
+“Heard about Gertie Higgins and--”
+
+“Yes.”
+
+“Who told you?”
+
+“Hiram Baker told me first. He's a fine feller and he's so tickled, now
+that his youngster's 'most well, that he cruises around spoutin' talk
+and joy same as a steamer's stack spouts cinders. He told me. Then Obed
+Gott and Cornelius Rowe and Redny Blount and Pat Starkey, and land knows
+how many more, came to tell me. I cut 'em short. Why, even the Major
+himself condescended to march in, grand and imposin' as a procession, to
+make proclamations about love laughin' at locksmiths, and so on. Since
+he got Polena and her bank account he's a bigger man than the President,
+in his own estimate.”
+
+“Humph! Well, he better make the best of it while it lasts. P'lena ain't
+Hetty Green, and her money won't hold out forever.”
+
+“That's a fact. Still Polena's got sense. She'll hold Hardee in check,
+I cal'late. I wouldn't wonder if it ended by her bossin' things and the
+Major actin' as a sort of pet poodle dog--nice and pretty to walk out
+with, but always kept at the end of a string.”
+
+“You didn't go to Higgins's for dinner to-day, did you?”
+
+“No. Nor I shan't go for supper. Beriah's bad enough when he's got
+nothin' the matter with him but dyspepsy. Now that his sufferin's are
+complicated with elopements, I don't want to eat with him.”
+
+“Come and have supper with us.”
+
+“I guess not, thank you, Sim. I'll get some crackers and cheese and such
+at the store. I--I ain't very hungry these days.”
+
+He turned his head and looked out of the window. Simeon fidgeted.
+
+“Sol,” he said, after a pause, “we'll be past Olive's by to-morrer
+night.”
+
+No answer. Sim repeated his remark.
+
+“I know it,” was the short reply.
+
+“Yes--yes, I s'posed you did, but--”
+
+“Sim, don't bother me now. This is my last day here at the depot, and
+I've got things to do.”
+
+“Your last day? Why, what--?”
+
+Captain Sol told briefly of his resignation and of the coming of the new
+depot master.
+
+“But you givin' up your job!” gasped Phinney. “YOU! Why, what for?”
+
+“For instance, I guess. I ain't dependent on the wages, and I'm sick of
+the whole thing.”
+
+“But what'll you do?”
+
+“Don't know.”
+
+“You--you won't leave town, will you? Lawsy mercy, I hope not!”
+
+“Don't know. Maybe I'll know better by and by. I've got to think things
+out. Run along now, like a good feller. Don't say nothin' about my
+quittin'. All hands'll know it to-morrow, and that's soon enough.”
+
+Simeon departed, his brain in a whirl. Captain Solomon Berry no longer
+depot master! The world must be coming to an end.
+
+He remained at his work until supper time. During the meal he ate and
+said so little that his wife wondered and asked questions. To avoid
+answering them he hurried out. When he returned, about ten o'clock, he
+was a changed man. His eyes shone and he fairly danced with excitement.
+
+“Emeline!” he shouted, as he burst into the sitting room. “What do you
+think? I've got the everlastin'est news to tell!”
+
+“Good or bad?” asked the practical Mrs. Phinney.
+
+“Good! So good that--There! let me tell you. When I left here I went
+down to the store and hung around till the mail was sorted. Pat Starkey
+was doin' the sortin', Beriah bein' too upsot by Gertie's gettin'
+married to attend to anything. Pat called me to the mail window and
+handed me a letter.
+
+“'It's for Olive Edwards,' he says. 'She's been expectin' one for a
+consider'ble spell, she told me, and maybe this is it. P'r'aps you'd
+just as soon go round by her shop and leave it.'
+
+“I took the letter and looked at it. Up in one corner was the printed
+name of an Omaha firm. I never said nothin', but I sartinly hustled on
+my way up the hill.
+
+“Olive was in her little settin' room back of the shop. She was pretty
+pale, and her eyes looked as if she hadn't been doin' much sleepin'
+lately. Likewise I noticed--and it give me a queer feelin' inside--that
+her trunk was standin', partly packed, in the corner.”
+
+“The poor woman!” exclaimed Mrs. Phinney.
+
+“Yes,” went on her husband. “Well, I handed over the letter and started
+to go, but she told me to set down and rest, 'cause I was so out of
+breath. To tell you the truth, I was crazy to find out what was in that
+envelope and, being as she'd give me the excuse, I set.
+
+“She took the letter over to the lamp and looked at it for much as
+a minute, as if she was afraid to open it. But at last, and with her
+fingers shakin' like the palsy, she fetched a long breath and tore off
+the end of the envelope. It was a pretty long letter, and she read it
+through. I see her face gettin' whiter and whiter and, when she reached
+the bottom of the last page, the letter fell onto the floor. Down went
+her head on her arms, and she cried as if her heart would break. I never
+felt so sorry for anybody in my life.
+
+“'Don't, Mrs. Edwards,' I says. 'Please don't. That cousin of yours is
+a darn ungrateful scamp, and I'd like to have my claws on his neck this
+minute.'
+
+“She never even asked me how I knew about the cousin. She was too much
+upset for that.
+
+“'Oh! oh!' she sobs. 'What SHALL I do? Where shall I go? I haven't got a
+friend in the world!'
+
+“I couldn't stand that. I went acrost and laid my hand on her shoulder.
+
+“'Mrs. Edwards,' says I, 'you mustn't say that. You've got lots of
+friends. I'm your friend. Mr. Hilton's your friend. Yes, and there's
+another, the best friend of all. If it weren't for him, you'd have been
+turned out into the street long before this.'”
+
+Mrs. Phinney nodded. “I'm glad you told her!” she exclaimed. “She'd
+ought to know.”
+
+“That's what I thought,” said Simeon.
+
+“Well, she raised her head then and looked at me.
+
+“'You mean Mr. Williams?' she asks.
+
+“That riled me up. 'Williams nothin'!' says I. 'Williams let you stay
+here 'cause he could just as well as not. If he'd known that this other
+friend was keepin' him from gettin' here, just on your account, he'd
+have chucked you to glory, promise or no promise. But this friend, this
+real friend, he don't count cost, nor trouble, nor inconvenience. Hikes
+his house--the house he lives in--right out into the road, moves it to a
+place where he don't want to go, and--'
+
+“'Mr. Phinney,' she sighs out, 'what do you mean?'
+
+“And then I told her. She listened without sayin' a word, but her eyes
+kept gettin' brighter and brighter and she breathed short.
+
+“'Oh!' she says, when I'd finished. 'Did he--did he--do that for ME?'
+
+“'You bet!' says I. 'He didn't tell me what he was doin' it for--that
+ain't Sol's style; but I'm arithmetiker enough to put two and two
+together and make four. He did it for you, you can bet your last red on
+that.'
+
+“She stood up. 'Oh!' she breathes. 'I--I must go and thank him. I--'
+
+“But, knowin' Sol, I was afraid. Fust place, there was no tellin' how
+he'd act, and, besides, he might not take it kindly that I'd told her.
+
+“'Wait a jiffy,' I says. 'I'll go out and see if he's home. You stay
+here. I'll be back right off.'
+
+“Out I put, and over to the Berry house, standin' on its rollers in the
+middle of the Boulevard. And, just as I got to it, somebody says:
+
+“'Ahoy, Sim! What's the hurry? Anybody on fire?'
+
+“'Twas the Cap'n himself, settin' on a pile of movin' joist and smokin'
+as usual. I didn't waste no time.
+
+“'Sol,' says I, 'I've just come from Olive's. She's got that letter from
+the Omaha man. Poor thing! all alone there--'
+
+“He interrupted me sharp. 'Well?' he snaps. 'What's it say? Will the
+cousin help her?'
+
+“'No,' I says, 'drat him, he won't!'
+
+“The answer I got surprised me more'n anything I ever heard or ever will
+hear.
+
+“'Thank God!' says Sol Berry. 'That settles it.'
+
+“And I swan to man if he didn't climb down off them timbers and march
+straight across the street, over to the door of Olive Edwards's home,
+open it, and go in! I leaned against the joist he'd left, and swabbed my
+forehead with my sleeve.”
+
+“He went to HER!” gasped Mrs. Phinney.
+
+“Wait,” continued her husband. “I must have stood there twenty minutes
+when I heard somebody hurryin' down the Boulevard. 'Twas Cornelius Rowe,
+all red-faced and het up, but bu'stin' with news.
+
+“''Lo, Sim!' says he to me. 'Is Cap'n Sol home? Does he know?'
+
+“'Know? Know what?” says I.
+
+“'Why, the trick Mr. Williams put up on him? Hey? You ain't heard? Well,
+Mr. Williams's fixed him nice, HE has! Seems Abner Payne hadn't answered
+Sol's letter tellin' him he'd accept the offer to swap lots, and
+Williams went up to Wareham where Payne's been stayin' and offered him a
+thumpin' price for the land on Main Street, and took it. The deed's all
+made out. Cap'n Sol can't move where he was goin' to, and he's left with
+his house on the town, as you might say. Ain't it a joke, though? Where
+is Sol? I want to be the fust to tell him and see how he acts. Is he to
+home?'
+
+“I was shook pretty nigh to pieces, but I had some sense left.
+
+“'No, he ain't,' says I. 'I see him go up street a spell ago.'”
+
+“Why, Simeon!” interrupted Mrs. Phinney once more. “Was that true? How
+COULD you see him when--”
+
+“Be still! S'pose I was goin' to tell him where Sol HAD gone? I'd have
+lied myself blue fust. However, Cornelius was satisfied.
+
+“'That so?' he grunts. 'By jings! I'm goin' to find him.'
+
+“Off he went, and the next thing I knew the Edwards door opened, and
+I heard somebody callin' my name. I went acrost, walkin' in a kind of
+daze, and there, in the doorway, with the lamp shinin' on 'em, was Cap'n
+Sol and Olive. The tears was wet on her cheeks, but she was smilin' in
+a kind of shy, half-believin' sort of way, and as for Sol, he was one
+broad, satisfied grin.
+
+“'Cap'n,' I begun, 'I just heard the everlastin'est news that--'
+
+“'Shut up, Sim!' he orders, cheerful. 'You've been a mighty good friend
+to both of us, and I want you to be the fust to shake hands.'
+
+“'Shake hands?' I stammers, lookin' at 'em. 'WHAT? You don't mean--'
+
+“'I mean shake hands. Don't you want to?'
+
+“Want to! I give 'em both one more look, and then we shook, up to the
+elbows; and my grin had the Cap'n's beat holler.
+
+“'Sim,' he says, after I'd cackled a few minutes, 'I cal'late maybe that
+white horse is well by this time. P'r'aps we might move a little faster.
+I'm kind of anxious to get to Main Street.'
+
+“Then I remembered. 'Great gosh all fish-hooks!' I sings out. 'Main
+Street? Why, there AIN'T no Main Street!'
+
+“And I gives 'em Cornelius's news. The widow's smile faded out.
+
+“'Oh!' says she. 'O Solomon! And I got you into all this trouble!'
+
+“Cap'n Sol didn't stop grinnin', but he scratched his head. 'Huh!' says
+he. 'Mark one up for King Williams the Great. Humph!'
+
+“He thought for a minute and then he laughed out loud. 'Olive,' he says,
+'if I remember right, you and I always figgered to live on the Shore
+Road. It's the best site in town. Sim, I guess if that white horse IS
+well, you can move that shanty of mine right to Cross Street, down that,
+and back along the Shore Road to the place where it come from. THAT
+land's mine yet,' says he.
+
+“If that wa'n't him all over! I couldn't think what to say, except that
+folks would laugh some, I cal'lated.
+
+“'Not at us, they won't,' says he. 'We'll clear out till the laughin' is
+over. Olive, to-morrer mornin' we'll call on Parson Hilton and then take
+the ten o'clock train. I feel's if a trip to Washin'ton would be about
+right just now.'
+
+“She started and blushed and then looked up into his face. 'Solomon,'
+she says, low, 'I really would like to go to Niagara.'
+
+“He shook his head. 'Old lady,' says he, 'I guess you don't quite
+understand this thing. See here'--p'intin' to his house loomin' big and
+black in the roadway--'see! the mountain has come to Mahomet.'”
+
+Mrs. Phinney had heard enough. She sprang from her chair and seized her
+husband's hands.
+
+“Splendid!” she cried, her face beaming. “Oh, AIN'T it lovely! Ain't you
+glad for 'em, Simeon?”
+
+“Glad! Say, Emeline; there's some of that wild-cherry bounce down
+cellar, ain't there? Let's break our teetotalism for once and drink a
+glass to Cap'n and Mrs. Solomon Berry. Jerushy! I got to do SOMETHIN' to
+celebrate.”
+
+
+On the Hill Boulevard the summer wind stirred the silverleaf poplars.
+The thick, black shadows along the sidewalks were heavy with the perfume
+of flowers. Captain Sol, ex-depot master of East Harniss, strolled on
+in the dark, under the stars, his hands in his pockets, and in his heart
+happiness complete and absolute.
+
+Behind him twinkled the lamp in the window of the Edwards house, so soon
+to be torn down. Before him, over the barberry hedge, blazed the windows
+of the mansion the owner of which was responsible for it all. The
+windows were open, and through them sounded the voices of the mighty
+Ogden Hapworth Williams and his wife, engaged in a lively altercation.
+It was an open secret that their married life was anything but peaceful.
+
+“What are you grumbling about now?” demanded 'Williams. “Don't I give
+you more money than--”
+
+“Nonsense!” sneered Mrs. Williams, in scornful derision. “Nonsense,
+I say! Money is all there is to you, Ogden. In other things, the real
+things of this world, those you can't buy with money, you're a perfect
+imbecile. You know nothing whatever about them.”
+
+Captain Sol, alone on the walk by the hedge, glanced in the direction
+of the shrill voice, then back at the lamp in Olive's window. And he
+laughed aloud.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Depot Master, by Joseph C. Lincoln
+
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+  <head>
+    <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=UTF-8" />
+    <title>
+      The Depot Master, by Joseph C. Lincoln
+    </title>
+    <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve">
+
+    body { margin:5%; background:#faebd0; text-align:justify}
+    P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; }
+    H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; }
+    hr  { width: 50%; text-align: center;}
+    .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; }
+    blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;}
+    .mynote    {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;}
+    .toc       { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;}
+    .toc2      { margin-left: 20%;}
+    div.fig    { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; }
+    div.middle { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; }
+    .figleft   {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;}
+    .figright  {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;}
+    .pagenum   {display:inline; font-size: 70%; font-style:normal;
+               margin: 0; padding: 0; position: absolute; right: 1%;
+               text-align: right;}
+    pre        { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;}
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+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+4The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Depot Master, by Joseph C. Lincoln
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Depot Master
+
+Author: Joseph C. Lincoln
+
+Release Date: May 16, 2006 [EBook #2307]
+Last Updated: March 5, 2019
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: UTF-8
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE DEPOT MASTER ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Donald Lainson; David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br />
+    </p>
+    <h1>
+      THE DEPOT MASTER
+    </h1>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <h2>
+      By Joseph C. Lincoln
+    </h2>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br />
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br />
+    </p>
+    <blockquote>
+      <p class="toc">
+        <big><b>CONTENTS</b></big>
+      </p>
+      <p>
+        <br /> <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> <big><b>THE DEPOT MASTER</b></big> </a> -- <br /><br /><br />
+        <a href="#link2HCH0001"> CHAPTER I </a> -- AT THE DEPOT<br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0002">
+        CHAPTER II </a> -- SUPPLY AND DEMAND<br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0003"> CHAPTER III </a> -- “STINGY GABE”<br /><br />
+        <a href="#link2HCH0004"> CHAPTER IV </a> -- THE MAJOR<br /><br /> <a
+        href="#link2HCH0005"> CHAPTER V </a> -- A BABY AND A ROBBERY<br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0006">
+        CHAPTER VI </a> -- AVIATION AND AVARICE<br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0007"> CHAPTER VII </a> -- CAPTAIN SOL DECIDES TO MOVE<br /><br />
+        <a href="#link2HCH0008"> CHAPTER VIII </a> -- THE OBLIGATIONS OF A GENTLEMAN<br /><br /> <a
+        href="#link2HCH0009"> CHAPTER IX </a> -- THE WIDOW BASSETT<br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0010">
+        CHAPTER X </a> -- CAPTAIN JONADAB GOES<br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0011"> CHAPTER XI </a> -- IN THE GREAT METROPOLIS<br /><br />
+        <a href="#link2HCH0012"> CHAPTER XII </a> -- A VISION SENT<br /><br /> <a
+        href="#link2HCH0013"> CHAPTER XIII </a> -- DUSENBERRY'S BIRTHDAY<br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0014">
+        CHAPTER XIV </a> -- EFFIE'S FATE<br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0015"> CHAPTER XV </a> -- THE “HERO” AND THE COWBOY<br /><br />
+        <a href="#link2HCH0016"> CHAPTER XVI </a> -- THE CRUISE OF THE RED CAR<br /><br /> <a
+        href="#link2HCH0017"> CHAPTER XVII </a> -- ISSY'S REVENGE<br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0018">
+        CHAPTER XVIII </a> -- THE MOUNTAIN AND MAHOMET&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
+      </p>
+    </blockquote>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br />
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br />
+    </p>
+    <h2>
+      THE DEPOT MASTER
+    </h2>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0001" id="link2HCH0001">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER I
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      AT THE DEPOT
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Simeon Phinney emerged from the side door of his residence and paused
+      a moment to light his pipe in the lee of the lilac bushes. Mr. Phinney was
+      a man of various and sundry occupations, and his sign, nailed to the big
+      silver-leaf in the front yard, enumerated a few of them. &ldquo;Carpenter, Well
+      Driver, Building Mover, Cranberry Bogs Seen to with Care and Dispatch,
+      etc., etc.,&rdquo; so read the sign. The house was situated in &ldquo;Phinney's Lane,&rdquo;
+       the crooked little byway off &ldquo;Cross Street,&rdquo; between the &ldquo;Shore Road&rdquo; at
+      the foot of the slope and the &ldquo;Hill Boulevard&rdquo;&mdash;formerly &ldquo;Higgins's
+      Roost&rdquo;&mdash;at the top. From the Phinney gate the view was extensive and,
+      for the most part, wet. The hill descended sharply, past the &ldquo;Shore Road,&rdquo;
+       over the barren fields and knolls covered with bayberry bushes and
+      &ldquo;poverty grass,&rdquo; to the yellow sand of the beach and the gray,
+      weather-beaten fish-houses scattered along it. Beyond was the bay, a
+      glimmer in the sunset light.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Mrs. Phinney, in the kitchen, was busy with the supper dishes. Her
+      husband, wheezing comfortably at his musical pipe, drew an ancient silver
+      watch from his pocket and looked at its dial. Quarter past six. Time to be
+      getting down to the depot and the post office. At least a dozen male
+      citizens of East Harniss were thinking that very thing at that very
+      moment. It was a community habit of long standing to see the train come in
+      and go after the mail. The facts that the train bore no passengers in whom
+      you were intimately interested, and that you expected no mail made little
+      difference. If you were a man of thirty or older, you went to the depot or
+      the &ldquo;club,&rdquo; just as your wife or sisters went to the sewing circle, for
+      sociability and mild excitement. If you were a single young man you went
+      to the post office for the same reason that you attended prayer meeting.
+      If you were a single young lady you went to the post office and prayer
+      meeting to furnish a reason for the young man.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Phinney, replacing his watch in his pocket, meandered to the sidewalk
+      and looked down the hill and along the length of the &ldquo;Shore Road.&rdquo; Beside
+      the latter highway stood a little house, painted a spotless white, its
+      window blinds a vivid green. In that house dwelt, and dwelt alone, Captain
+      Solomon Berry, Sim Phinney's particular friend. Captain Sol was the East
+      Harniss depot master and, from long acquaintance, Mr. Phinney knew that he
+      should be through supper and ready to return to the depot, by this time.
+      The pair usually walked thither together when the evening meal was over.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      But, except for the smoke curling lazily from the kitchen chimney, there
+      was no sign of life about the Berry house. Either Captain Sol had already
+      gone, or he was not yet ready to go. So Mr. Phinney decided that waiting
+      was chancey, and set out alone.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      He climbed Cross Street to where the &ldquo;Hill Boulevard,&rdquo; abiding place of
+      East Harniss's summer aristocracy, bisected it, and there, standing on the
+      corner, and consciously patronizing the spot where he so stood, was Mr.
+      Ogden Hapworth Williams, no less.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Williams was the village millionaire, patron, and, in a gentlemanly
+      way, &ldquo;boomer.&rdquo; His estate on the Boulevard was the finest in the county,
+      and he, more than any one else, was responsible for the &ldquo;buying up&rdquo; by
+      wealthy people from the city of the town's best building sites, the spots
+      commanding &ldquo;fine marine sea views,&rdquo; to quote from Abner Payne, local real
+      estate and insurance agent. His own estate was fine enough to be talked
+      about from one end of the Cape to the other and he had bought the empty
+      lot opposite and made it into a miniature park, with flower beds and
+      gravel walks, though no one but he or his might pick the flowers or tread
+      the walks. He had brought on a wealthy friend from New York and a cousin
+      from Chicago, and they, too, had bought acres on the Boulevard and erected
+      palatial &ldquo;cottages&rdquo; where once were the houses of country people. Local
+      cynics suggested that the sign on the East Harniss railroad station should
+      be changed to read &ldquo;Williamsburg.&rdquo; &ldquo;He owns the place, body and soul,&rdquo;
+       said they.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      As Sim Phinney climbed the hill the magnate, pompous, portly, and
+      imposing, held up a signaling finger. &ldquo;Just as if he was hailin' a horse
+      car,&rdquo; described Simeon afterward.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Phinney,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;come here, I want to speak to you.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The man of many trades obediently approached.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Good evenin', Mr. Williams,&rdquo; he ventured.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Phinney,&rdquo; went on the great man briskly, &ldquo;I want you to give me your
+      figures on a house moving deal. I have bought a house on the Shore Road,
+      the one that used to belong to the&mdash;er&mdash;Smalleys, I believe.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Simeon was surprised. &ldquo;What, the old Smalley house?&rdquo; he exclaimed. &ldquo;You
+      don't tell me!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, it's a fine specimen&mdash;so my wife says&mdash;of the pure
+      Colonial, whatever that is, and I intend moving it to the Boulevard. I
+      want your figures for the job.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The building mover looked puzzled. &ldquo;To the Boulevard?&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Why, I
+      didn't know there was a vacant lot on the Boulevard, Mr. Williams.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There isn't now, but there will be soon. I have got hold of the hundred
+      feet left from the old Seabury estate.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Phinney drew a long breath. &ldquo;Why!&rdquo; he stammered, &ldquo;that's where Olive
+      Edwards&mdash;her that was Olive Seabury&mdash;lives, ain't it?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; was the rather impatient answer. &ldquo;She has been living there. But
+      the place was mortgaged up to the handle and&mdash;ahem&mdash;the mortgage
+      is mine now.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      For an instant Simeon did not reply. He was gazing, not up the Boulevard
+      in the direction of the &ldquo;Seabury place&rdquo; but across the slope of the hill
+      toward the home of Captain Sol Berry, the depot master. There was a
+      troubled look on his face.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well?&rdquo; inquired Williams briskly, &ldquo;when can you give me the figures? They
+      must be low, mind. No country skin games, you understand.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hey?&rdquo; Phinney came out of his momentary trance. &ldquo;Yes, yes, Mr. Williams.
+      They'll be low enough. Times is kind of dull now and I'd like a movin' job
+      first-rate. I'll give 'em to you to-morrer. But&mdash;but Olive'll have to
+      move, won't she? And where's she goin'?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She'll have to move, sure. And the eyesore on that lot now will come
+      down.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The &ldquo;eyesore&rdquo; was the four room building, combined dwelling and shop of
+      Mrs. Olive Edwards, widow of &ldquo;Bill Edwards,&rdquo; once a promising young man,
+      later town drunkard and ne'er-do-well, dead these five years, luckily for
+      himself and luckier&mdash;in a way&mdash;for the wife who had stuck by him
+      while he wasted her inheritance in a losing battle with John Barleycorn.
+      At his death the fine old Seabury place had dwindled to a lone hundred
+      feet of land, the little house, and a mortgage on both. Olive had opened a
+      &ldquo;notion store&rdquo; in her front parlor and had fought on, proudly refusing aid
+      and trying to earn a living. She had failed. Again Phinney stared
+      thoughtfully at the distant house of Captain Sol.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But Olive,&rdquo; he said, slowly. &ldquo;She ain't got no folks, has she? What'll
+      become of her? Where'll she move to?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That,&rdquo; said Mr. Williams, with a wave of a fat hand, &ldquo;is not my business.
+      I am sorry for her, if she's hard up. But I can't be responsible if men
+      will drink up their wives' money. Look out for number one; that's
+      business. I sha'n't be unreasonable with her. She can stay where she is
+      until the new house I've bought is moved to that lot. Then she must clear
+      out. I've told her that. She knows all about it. Well, good-by, Phinney. I
+      shall expect your bid to-morrow. And, mind, don't try to get the best of
+      me, because you can't do it.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He turned and strutted back up the Boulevard. Sim Phinney, pondering
+      deeply and very grave, continued on his way, down Cross Street to Main&mdash;naming
+      the village roads was another of the Williams' &ldquo;improvements&rdquo;&mdash;and
+      along that to the crossing, East Harniss's business and social center at
+      train times.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The station&mdash;everyone called it &ldquo;deepo,&rdquo; of course&mdash;was then a
+      small red building, old and out of date, but scrupulously neat because of
+      Captain Berry's rigid surveillance. Close beside it was the &ldquo;Boston
+      Grocery, Dry Goods and General Store,&rdquo; Mr. Beriah Higgins, proprietor.
+      Beriah was postmaster and the post office was in his store. The male
+      citizen of middle age or over, seeking opportunity for companionship and
+      chat, usually went first to the depot, sat about in the waiting room until
+      the train came in, superintended that function, then sojourned to the post
+      office until the mail was sorted, returning later, if he happened to be a
+      particular friend of the depot master, to sit and smoke and yarn until
+      Captain Sol announced that it was time to &ldquo;turn in.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      When Mr. Phinney entered the little waiting room he found it already
+      tenanted. Captain Sol had not yet arrived, but official authority was
+      represented by &ldquo;Issy&rdquo; McKay&mdash;his full name was Issachar Ulysses Grant
+      McKay&mdash;a long-legged, freckled-faced, tow-headed youth of twenty,
+      who, as usual, was sprawled along the settee by the wall, engrossed in a
+      paper covered dime novel. &ldquo;Issy&rdquo; was a lover of certain kinds of
+      literature and reveled in lurid fiction. As a youngster he had, at the age
+      of thirteen, after a course of reading in the &ldquo;Deadwood Dick Library,&rdquo;
+       started on a pedestrian journey to the Far West, where, being armed with
+      home-made tomahawk and scalping knife, he contemplated extermination of
+      the noble red man. A wrathful pursuing parent had collared the
+      exterminator at the Bayport station, to the huge delight of East Harniss,
+      young and old. Since this adventure Issy had been famous, in a way.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      He was Captain Sol Berry's assistant at the depot. Why an assistant was
+      needed was a much discussed question. Why Captain Sol, a retired seafaring
+      man with money in the bank, should care to be depot master at ten dollars
+      a week was another. The Captain himself said he took the place because he
+      wanted to do something that was &ldquo;half way between a loaf and a job.&rdquo; He
+      employed an assistant at his own expense because he &ldquo;might want to stretch
+      the loafin' half.&rdquo; And he hired Issy because&mdash;well, because &ldquo;most
+      folks in East Harniss are alike and you can always tell about what they'll
+      say or do. Now Issy's different. The Lord only knows what HE'S likely to
+      do, and that makes him interestin' as a conundrum, to guess at. He kind of
+      keeps my sense of responsibility from gettin' mossy, Issy does.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Issy,&rdquo; hailed Mr. Phinney, &ldquo;has the Cap'n got here yet?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy answered not. The villainous floorwalker had just proffered matrimony
+      or summary discharge to &ldquo;Flora, the Beautiful Shop Girl,&rdquo; and pending her
+      answer, the McKay mind had no room for trifles.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Issy!&rdquo; shouted Simeon. &ldquo;I say, Is', Wake up, you foolhead! Has Cap'n Sol&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No, he ain't, Sim,&rdquo; volunteered Ed Crocker. He and his chum, Cornelius
+      Rowe, were seated in two of the waiting room chairs, their feet on two
+      others. &ldquo;He ain't got here yet. We was just talkin' about him. You've
+      heard about Olive Edwards, I s'pose likely, ain't you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Phinney nodded gloomily.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;I've heard.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, it's too bad,&rdquo; continued Crocker. &ldquo;But, after all, it's Olive's own
+      fault. She'd ought to have married Sol Berry when she had the chance. What
+      she ever gave him the go-by for, after the years they was keepin' comp'ny,
+      is more'n I can understand.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Cornelius Rowe shook his head, with an air of wisdom. Captain Sol,
+      himself, remarked once: &ldquo;I wonder sometimes the Almighty ain't jealous of
+      Cornelius, he knows so much and is so responsible for the runnin' of all
+      creation.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Humph!&rdquo; grunted Mr. Rowe. &ldquo;There's more to that business than you folks
+      think. Olive didn't notice Bill Edwards till Sol went off to sea and
+      stayed two years and over. How do you know she shook Sol? You might just
+      as well say he shook her. He always was stubborn as an off ox and cranky
+      as a windlass. I wonder how he feels now, when she's lost her last red and
+      is goin' to be drove out of house and home. And all on account of that
+      fool 'mountain and Mahomet' business.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;WHICH?&rdquo; asked Mr. Crocker.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Never mind that, Cornelius,&rdquo; put in Phinney, sharply. &ldquo;Why don't you let
+      other folks' affairs alone? That was a secret that Olive told your sister
+      and you've got no right to go blabbin'.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Aw, hush up, Sim! I ain't tellin' no secrets to anybody but Ed here, and
+      he ain't lived in East Harniss long or he'd know it already. The mountain
+      and Mahomet? Why, them was the last words Sol and Olive had. 'Twas Sol's
+      stubbornness that was most to blame. That was his one bad fault. He would
+      have his own way and he wouldn't change. Olive had set her heart on goin'
+      to Washin'ton for their weddin' tower. Sol wanted to go to Niagara. They
+      argued a long time, and finally Olive says, 'No, Solomon, I'm not goin' to
+      give in this time. I have all the others, but it's not fair and it's not
+      right, and no married life can be happy where one does all the
+      sacrificin'. If you care for me you'll do as I want now.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And he laughs and says, 'All right, I'll sacrifice after this, but you
+      and me must see Niagara.' And she was sot and he was sotter, and at last
+      they quarreled. He marches out of the door and says: 'Very good. When
+      you're ready to be sensible and change your mind, you can come to me. And
+      says Olive, pretty white but firm: 'No, Solomon, I'm right and you're not.
+      I'm afraid this time the mountain must come to Mahomet.' That ended it. He
+      went away and never come back, and after a long spell she give in to her
+      dad and married Bill Edwards. Foolish? 'Well, now, WA'N'T it!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Humph!&rdquo; grunted Crocker. &ldquo;She must have been a born gump to let a smart
+      man like him get away just for that.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There's a good many born gumps not so far from here as her house,&rdquo;
+       interjected Phinney. &ldquo;You remember that next time you look in the glass,
+      Ed Crocker. And&mdash;and&mdash;well, there's no better friend of Sol
+      Berry's on earth than I am, but, so fur as their quarrel was concerned, if
+      you ask me I'd have to say Olive was pretty nigh right.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Maybe&mdash;maybe,&rdquo; declared the allwise Cornelius, &ldquo;but just the same if
+      I was Sol Berry, and knew my old girl was likely to go to the poorhouse,
+      I'll bet my conscience&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;S-ssh!&rdquo; hissed Crocker, frantically. Cornelius stopped in the middle of
+      his sentence, whirled in his chair, and looked up. Behind him in the
+      doorway of the station stood Captain Sol himself. The blue cap he always
+      wore was set back on his head, a cigar tipped upward from the corner of
+      his mouth, and there was a grim look in his eye and about the smooth
+      shaven lips above the short, grayish-brown beard.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Issy&rdquo; sprang from his settee and jammed the paper novel into his pocket.
+      Ed Crocker's sunburned face turned redder yet. Sim Phinney grinned at Mr.
+      Rowe, who was very much embarrassed.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Er&mdash;er&mdash;evenin', Cap'n Sol,&rdquo; he stammered. &ldquo;Nice, seasonable
+      weather, ain't it? Been a nice day.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Um,&rdquo; grunted the depot master, knocking the ashes from his cigar.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Just right for workin' outdoor,&rdquo; continued Cornelius.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I guess it must be. I saw your wife rakin' the yard this mornin'.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Phinney doubled up with a chuckle. Mr. Rowe swallowed hard. &ldquo;I&mdash;I
+      TOLD her I'd rake it myself soon's I got time,&rdquo; he sputtered.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Um. Well, I s'pose she realized your time was precious. Evenin', Sim,
+      glad to see you.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He held out his hand and Phinney grasped it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Issy,&rdquo; said Captain Sol, &ldquo;you'd better get busy with the broom, hadn't
+      you. It's standin' over in that corner and I wouldn't wonder if it needed
+      exercise. Sim, the train ain't due for twenty minutes yet. That gives us
+      at least three quarters of an hour afore it gets here. Come outside a
+      spell. I want to talk to you.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He led the way to the platform, around the corner of the station, and
+      seated himself on the baggage truck. That side of the building, being
+      furthest from the street, was out of view from the post office and
+      &ldquo;general store.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What was it you wanted to talk about, Sol?&rdquo; asked Simeon, sitting down
+      beside his friend on the truck.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Captain smoked in silence for a moment. Then he asked a question in
+      return.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sim,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;have you heard anything about Williams buying the Smalley
+      house? Is it true?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Phinney nodded. &ldquo;Yup,&rdquo; he answered, &ldquo;it's true. Williams was just talkin'
+      to me and I know all about his buyin' it and where it's goin'.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He repeated the conversation with the great man. Captain Sol did not
+      interrupt. He smoked on, and a frown gathered and deepened as he listened.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Humph!&rdquo; he said, when his friend had concluded. &ldquo;Humph! Sim, do you have
+      any idea what&mdash;what Olive Seabury will do when she has to go?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Phinney glanced at him. It was the first time in twenty years that he had
+      heard Solomon Berry mention the name of his former sweetheart. And even
+      now he did not call her by her married name, the name of her late husband.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; replied Simeon. &ldquo;No, Sol, I ain't got the least idea. Poor thing!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Another interval. Then: &ldquo;Well, Sim, find out if you can, and let me know.
+      And,&rdquo; turning his head and speaking quietly but firmly, &ldquo;don't let anybody
+      ELSE know I asked.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Course I won't, Sol, you know that. But don't it seem awful mean turnin'
+      her out so? I wouldn't think Mr. Williams would do such a thing.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      His companion smiled grimly; &ldquo;I would,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;'Business is business,'
+      that's his motto. That and 'Look out for number one.'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, he said somethin' to me about lookin' out for number one.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Did he? Humph!&rdquo; The Captain's smile lost a little of its bitterness and
+      broadened. He seemed to be thinking and to find amusement in the process.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What you grinnin' at?&rdquo; demanded Phinney.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Oh, I was just rememberin' how he looked out for number one the first&mdash;no,
+      the second time I met him. I don't believe he's forgot it. Maybe that's
+      why he ain't quite so high and mighty to me as he is to the rest of you
+      fellers. Ha! ha! He tried to patronize me when I first came back here and
+      took this depot and I just smiled and asked him what the market price of
+      johnny-cake was these days. He got red clear up to the brim of his tall
+      hat. Humph! 'TWAS funny.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The market price of JOHNNY-CAKE! He must have thought you was loony.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No. I'm the last man he'd think was loony. You see I met him a fore he
+      came here to live at all.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You did? Where?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Oh, over to Wellmouth. 'Twas the year afore I come back to East Harniss,
+      myself, after my long stretch away from it. I never intended to see the
+      Cape again, but I couldn't stay away somehow. I've told you that much&mdash;how
+      I went over to Wellmouth and boarded a spell, got sick of that, and, just
+      to be doin' somethin' and not for the money, bought a catboat and took out
+      sailin' parties from Wixon and Wingate's summer hotel.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And you met Mr. Williams? Well, I snum! Was he at the hotel?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No, not exactly. I met him sort of casual this second time.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;SECOND time? Had you met him afore that?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Don't get ahead of the yarn, Sim. It happened this way: You see, I was
+      comin' along the road between East Wellmouth and the Center when I run
+      afoul of him. He was fat and shiny, and drivin' a skittish horse hitched
+      to a fancy buggy. When he sighted me he hove to and hailed.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Here you!' says he, in a voice as fat as the rest of him. 'Your name's
+      Berry, ain't it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yup,' says I.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Methusalum Berry or Jehoshaphat Berry or Sheba Berry, or somethin' like
+      that? Hey?' he says.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Well,' says I, 'the last shot you fired comes nighest the bull's eye.
+      They christened me Solomon, but 'twa'n't my fault; I was young at the time
+      and they took advantage.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He grinned a kind of lopsided grin, like he had a lemon in his mouth, and
+      commenced to cuss the horse for tryin' to climb a pine tree.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I knew 'twas some Bible outrage or other,' he says. 'There's more Bible
+      names in this forsaken sand heap than there is Christians, a good sight.
+      When I meet a man with a Bible name and chin whiskers I hang on to my
+      watch. The feller that sets out to do me has got to have a better make up
+      than that, you bet your life. 'Well, see here, King Sol; can you run a
+      gasoline launch?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Why, yes, I guess I can run 'most any of the everyday kinds,' says I,
+      pullin' thoughtful at my own chin whiskers. This fat man had got me
+      interested. He was so polite and folksy in his remarks. Didn't seem to
+      stand on no ceremony, as you might say. Likewise there was a kind of
+      familiar somethin' about his face. I knew mighty well I'd never met him
+      afore, and yet I seemed to have a floatin' memory of him, same as a chap
+      remembers the taste of the senna and salts his ma made him take when he
+      was little.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'All right,' says he, sharp. 'Then you come around to my landin'
+      to-morrer mornin' at eight o'clock prompt and take me out in my launch to
+      the cod-fishin' grounds. I'll give you ten dollars to take me out there
+      and back.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Well,' says I, 'ten dollars is a good price enough. Do I furnish&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You furnish nothin' except your grub,' he interrupts. 'The launch'll be
+      ready and the lines and hooks and bait'll be ready. My own man was to do
+      the job, but he and I had a heart-to-heart talk just now and I told him
+      where he could go and go quick. No smart Alec gets the best of me, even if
+      he has got a month's contract. You run that launch and put me on the
+      fishin' grounds. I pay you for that and bringin' me back again. And I
+      furnish my own extras and you can furnish yours. I don't want any of your
+      Yankee bargainin'. See?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I saw. There wa'n't no real reason why I couldn't take the job. 'Twas
+      well along into September; the hotel was closed for the season; and about
+      all I had on my hands just then was time.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'All right,' says I, 'it's a deal. If you'll guarantee to have your
+      launch ready, I&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'That's my business,' he says. 'It'll be ready. If it ain't you'll get
+      your pay just the same. To-morrer mornin' at eight o'clock. And don't you
+      forget and be late. Gid-dap, you blackguard!' says he to the horse.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hold on, just a minute,' I hollers, runnin' after him. 'I don't want to
+      be curious nor nosey, you understand, but seems 's if it might help me to
+      be on time if I knew where your launch was goin' to be and what your name
+      was.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He pulled up then. 'Humph!' he says, 'if you don't know my name and more
+      about my private affairs than I do myself, you're the only one in this
+      county that don't. My name's Williams, and I live in what you folks call
+      the Lathrop place over here toward Trumet. The launch is at my landin'
+      down in front of the house.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He drove off then and I walked along thinkin'. I knew who he was now, of
+      course. There was consider'ble talk when the Lathrop place was rented, and
+      I gathered that the feller who hired it answered to the hail of Williams
+      and was a retired banker, sufferin' from an enlarged income and the
+      diseases that go along with it. He lived alone up there in the big house,
+      except for a cranky housekeeper and two or three servants. This was afore
+      he got married, Sim; his wife's tamed him a little. Then the yarns about
+      his temper and language would have filled a log book.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But all this was way to one side of the mark-buoy, so fur as I was
+      concerned. I'd cruised with cranks afore and I thought I could stand this
+      one&mdash;ten dollars' worth of him, anyhow. Bluster and big talk may
+      scare some folks, but to me they're like Aunt Hepsy Parker's false teeth,
+      the further off you be from 'em the more real they look. So the next
+      mornin' I was up bright and early and on my way over to the Lathrop
+      landin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The launch was there, made fast alongside the little wharf. Nice,
+      slick-lookin' craft she was, too, all varnish and gilt gorgeousness. I'd
+      liked her better if she'd carried a sail, for it's my experience that
+      canvas is a handy thing to have aboard in case of need; but she looked
+      seaworthy enough and built for speed.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;While I was standin' on the pier lookin' down at her I heard footsteps
+      and brisk remarks from behind the bushes on the bank, and here comes
+      Williams, puffin' and blowin', followed by a sulky-lookin' hired man
+      totin' a deckload of sweaters and ileskins, with a lunch basket on top.
+      Williams himself wan't carryin' anything but his temper, but he hadn't
+      forgot none of that.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hello, Berry,' says he to me. 'You are on time, ain't you. Blessed if it
+      ain't a comfort to find somebody who'll do what I tell 'em. Now you,' he
+      says to the servant, 'put them things aboard and clear out as quick as
+      you've a mind to. You and I are through; understand? Don't let me find you
+      hangin' around the place when I get back. Cast off, Sol.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The man dumped the dunnage into the launch, pretty average ugly, and me
+      and the boss climbed aboard. I cast off.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Mr. Williams,' says the man, kind of pleadin', 'ain't you goin' to pay
+      me the rest of my month's wages?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Williams told him he wa'n't, and added trimmin's to make it emphatic.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I started the engine and we moved out at a good clip. All at once that
+      hired man runs to the end of the wharf and calls after us.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'All right for you, you fat-head!' he yells. 'You'll be sorry for what
+      you done to me.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I cal'late the boss would have liked to go back and lick him, but I was
+      hired to go a-fishin', not to watch a one-sided prize fight, and I thought
+      'twas high time we started.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The name of that launch was the Shootin' Star, and she certainly lived up
+      to it. 'Twas one of them slick, greasy days, with no sea worth mentionin'
+      and we biled along fine. We had to, because the cod ledge is a good many
+      mile away, 'round Sandy P'int out to sea, and, judgin' by what I'd seen of
+      Fatty so fur, I wa'n't hankerin' to spend more time with him than was
+      necessary. More'n that, there was fog signs showin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'When was you figgerin' on gettin' back, Mr. Williams?' I asked him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'When I've caught as many fish as I want to,' he says. 'I told that
+      housekeeper of mine that I'd be back when I got good and ready; it might
+      be to-night and it might be ten days from now. &ldquo;If I ain't back in a week
+      you can hunt me up,&rdquo; I told her; &ldquo;but not before. And that goes.&rdquo; I've got
+      HER trained all right. She knows me. It's a pity if a man can't be
+      independent of females.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I knew consider'ble many men that was subjects for pity, 'cordin' to that
+      rule. But I wa'n't in for no week's cruise, and I told him so. He said of
+      course not; we'd be home that evenin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The Shootin' Star kept slippin' along. 'Twas a beautiful mornin' and,
+      after a spell, it had its effect, even on a crippled disposition like that
+      banker man's. He lit up a cigar and begun to get more sociable, in his
+      way. Commenced to ask me questions about myself.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;By and by he says: 'Berry, I suppose you figger that it's a smart thing
+      to get ten dollars out of me for a trip like this, hey?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Not if it's to last a week, I don't,' says I.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'It's your lookout if it does,' he says prompt. 'You get ten for takin'
+      me out and back. If you ain't back on time 'tain't my fault.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Unless this craft breaks down,' I says.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;''Twon't break down. I looked after that. My motto is to look out for
+      number one every time, and it's a mighty good motto. At any rate, it's
+      made my money for me.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He went on, preachin' about business shrewdness and how it paid, and how
+      mean and tricky in little deals we Rubes was, and yet we didn't appreciate
+      how to manage big things, till I got kind of sick of it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Look here, Mr. Williams,' says I, 'you know how I make my money&mdash;what
+      little I do make&mdash;or you say you do. Now, if it ain't a sassy
+      question, how did you make yours?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, he made his by bein' shrewd and careful and always lookin' out for
+      number one. 'Number one' was his hobby. I gathered that the heft of his
+      spare change had come from dickers in stocks and bonds.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Humph!' says I. 'Well, speakin' of tricks and meanness, I've allers
+      heard tell that there was some of them things hitched to the tail of the
+      stock market. What makes the stock market price of&mdash;well, of wheat,
+      we'll say?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That was regulated, so he said, by the law of supply and demand. If a
+      feller had all the wheat there was and another chap had to have some or
+      starve, why, the first one had a right to gouge t'other chap's last cent
+      away from him afore he let it go.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'That's legitimate,' he says. 'That's cornerin' the market. Law of supply
+      and demand exemplified.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;''Cordin' to that law,' says I, 'when you was so set on fishin' to-day
+      and hunted me up to run your boat here&mdash;'cause I was about the only
+      chap who could run it and wa'n't otherwise busy&mdash;I'd ought to have
+      charged you twenty dollars instead of ten.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Sure you had,' he says, grinnin'. 'But you weren't shrewd enough to
+      grasp the situation and do it. Now the deal's closed and it's too late.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He went on talkin' about 'pools' and deals' and such. How prices of this
+      stock and that was shoved up a-purpose till a lot of folks had put their
+      money in it and then was smashed flat so's all hands but the 'poolers'
+      would be what he called 'squeezed out,' and the gang would get their cash.
+      That was legitimate, too&mdash;'high finance,' he said.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But how about the poor folks that had their savin's in them stocks,' I
+      asks, 'and don't know high financin'? Where's the law of supply and demand
+      come in for them?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He laughed. 'They supply the suckers and the demand for money,' says he.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;By eleven we was well out toward the fishin' grounds. 'Twas the bad
+      season now; the big fish had struck off still further and there wa'n't
+      another boat in sight. The land was just a yeller and green smooch along
+      the sky line and the waves was runnin' bigger. The Shootin' Star was
+      seaworthy, though, and I wa'n't worried about her. The only thing that
+      troubled me was the fog, and that was pilin' up to wind'ard. I'd called
+      Fatty's attention to it when we fust started, but he said he didn't care a
+      red for fog. Well, I didn't much care nuther, for we had a compass aboard
+      and the engine was runnin' fine. What wind there was was blowin' offshore.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And then, all to once, the engine STOPPED runnin'. I give the wheel a
+      whirl, but she only coughed, consumptive-like, and quit again. I went
+      for'ard to inspect, and, if you'll believe it, there wa'n't a drop of
+      gasoline left in the tank. The spare cans had ought to have been full, and
+      they was&mdash;but 'twas water they was filled with.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Is THIS the way you have your boat ready for me?' I remarks, sarcastic.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'That&mdash;that man of mine told me he had everything filled,' he
+      stammers, lookin' scart.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes,' says I, 'and I heard him hint likewise that he was goin' to make
+      you sorry. I guess he's done it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, sir! the brimstone names that Fatty called that man was somethin'
+      surprisin' to hear. When he'd used up all he had in stock he invented new
+      ones. When the praise service was over he turns to me and says: 'But what
+      are we goin' to do?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Do?' says I. 'That's easy. We're goin' to drift.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And that's what we done. I tried to anchor, but we wa'n't over the ledge
+      and the iron wouldn't reach bottom by a mile, more or less. I rigged up a
+      sail out of the oar and the canvas spray shield, but there wa'n't wind
+      enough to give us steerageway. So we drifted and drifted, out to sea. And
+      by and by the fog come down and shut us in, and that fixed what little
+      hope I had of bein' seen by the life patrol on shore.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The breeze died out flat about three o'clock. In one way this was a good
+      thing. In another it wa'n't, because we was well out in deep water, and
+      when the wind did come it was likely to come harder'n we needed. However,
+      there wa'n't nothin' to do but wait and hope for the best, as the feller
+      said when his wife's mother was sick.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It was gettin' pretty well along toward the edge of the evenin' when I
+      smelt the wind a-comin'. It came in puffs at fust, and every puff was
+      healthier than the one previous. Inside of ten minutes it was blowin'
+      hard, and the seas were beginnin' to kick up. I got up my jury rig&mdash;the
+      oar and the spray shield&mdash;and took the helm. There wa'n't nothin' to
+      do but run afore it, and the land knows where we would fetch up. At any
+      rate, if the compass was right, we was drivin' back into the bay again,
+      for the wind had hauled clear around.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The Shootin' Star jumped and sloshed. Fatty had on all the ileskins and
+      sweaters, but he was shakin' like a custard pie.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, oh, heavens!' he chatters. 'What will we do? Will we drown?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Don't know,' says I, tuggin' at the wheel and tryin' to sight the
+      compass. 'You've got the best chance of the two of us, if it's true that
+      fat floats.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I thought that might cheer him up some, but it didn't. A big wave heeled
+      us over then and a keg or two of salt water poured over the gunwale. He
+      give a yell and jumped up.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'My Lord!' he screams. 'We're sinkin'. Help! help!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Set down!' I roared. 'Thought you knew how to act in a boat. Set down!
+      d'you hear me? SET DOWN AND SET STILL!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He set. Likewise he shivered and groaned. It got darker all the time and
+      the wind freshened every minute. I expected to see that jury mast go by
+      the board at any time. Lucky for us it held.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No use tellin' about the next couple of hours. 'Cordin' to my reckonin'
+      they was years and we'd ought to have sailed plumb through the broadside
+      of the Cape, and be makin' a quick run for Africy. But at last we got into
+      smoother water, and then, right acrost our bows, showed up a white strip.
+      The fog had pretty well blowed clear and I could see it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Land, ho!' I yells. 'Stand by! WE'RE goin' to bump.'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Sol stopped short and listened. Mr. Phinney grasped his arm.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;For the dear land sakes, Sol,&rdquo; he exclaimed, &ldquo;don't leave me hangin' in
+      them breakers no longer'n you can help! Heave ahead! DID you bump?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The depot master chuckled.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;DID we?&rdquo; he repeated. &ldquo;Well, I'll tell you that by and by. Here comes the
+      train and I better take charge of the ship. Anything so responsible as
+      seein' the cars come in without me to help would give Issy the jumpin'
+      heart disease.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He sprang from the truck and hastened toward the door of the station.
+      Phinney, rising to follow him, saw, over the dark green of the swamp
+      cedars at the head of the track, an advancing column of smoke. A whistle
+      sounded. The train was coming in.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0002" id="link2HCH0002">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER II
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      SUPPLY AND DEMAND
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      And now life in East Harniss became temporarily fevered. Issy McKay dashed
+      out of the station and rushed importantly up and down the platform. Ed
+      Crocker and Cornelius Rowe emerged and draped themselves in statuesque
+      attitudes against the side of the building. Obed Gott came hurrying from
+      his paint and oil shop, which was next to the &ldquo;general store.&rdquo; Mr.
+      Higgins, proprietor of the latter, sauntered easily across to receive, in
+      his official capacity as postmaster, the mail bag. Ten or more citizens,
+      of both sexes, and of various ages, gathered in groups to inspect and
+      supervise.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The locomotive pulled its string of cars, a &ldquo;baggage,&rdquo; a &ldquo;smoker,&rdquo; and two
+      &ldquo;passengers,&rdquo; alongside the platform. The sliding door of the baggage car
+      was pushed back and the baggage master appeared in the opening. &ldquo;Hi!
+      Cap'n!&rdquo; he shouted. &ldquo;Hi, Cap'n Sol! Here's some express for you.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      But unfortunately the Captain was in conversation with the conductor at
+      the other end of the train. Issy, willing and officious, sprang forward.
+      &ldquo;I'll take it, Bill,&rdquo; he volunteered. &ldquo;Here, give it to me.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The baggage master handed down the package, a good sized one marked
+      &ldquo;Glass. With Care.&rdquo; Issy received it, clutched it to his bosom, turned and
+      saw Gertie Higgins, pretty daughter of Beriah Higgins, stepping from the
+      first car to the platform. Gertie had been staying with an aunt in Trumet
+      and was now returning home for a day or two.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy stopped short and gazed at her. He saw her meet and kiss her father,
+      and the sight roused turbulent emotions in his bosom. He saw her nod and
+      smile at acquaintances whom she passed. She approached, noticed him, and&mdash;oh,
+      rapture!&mdash;said laughingly, &ldquo;Hello, Is.&rdquo; Before he could recover his
+      senses and remember to do more than grin she had disappeared around the
+      corner of the station. Therefore he did not see the young man who stepped
+      forward to shake her hand and whisper in her ear. This young man was Sam
+      Bartlett, and, as a &ldquo;city dude,&rdquo; Issy loathed and hated him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      No, Issy did not see the hurried and brief meeting between Bartlett and
+      Gertie Higgins, but he had seen enough to cause forgetfulness of mundane
+      things. For an instant he stared after the vanished vision. Then he
+      stepped blindly forward, tripped over something&mdash;&ldquo;his off hind leg,&rdquo;
+       so Captain Sol afterwards vowed&mdash;and fell sprawling, the express
+      package beneath him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The crash of glass reached the ears of the depot master. He broke away
+      from the conductor and ran toward his prostrate &ldquo;assistant.&rdquo; Pushing aside
+      the delighted and uproarious bystanders, he forcibly helped the young man
+      to rise.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What in time?&rdquo; he demanded.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy agonizingly held the package to his ear and shook it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I&mdash;I'm afraid somethin's cracked,&rdquo; he faltered.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The crowd set up a whoop. Ed Crocker appeared to be in danger of
+      strangling.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Cracked!&rdquo; repeated Captain Sol. &ldquo;Cracked!&rdquo; he smiled, in spite of
+      himself. &ldquo;Yes, somethin's cracked. It's that head of yours, Issy. Here,
+      let's see!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He snatched the package from the McKay hands and inspected it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Smashed to thunder!&rdquo; he declared. &ldquo;Who's the lucky one it belongs to?
+      Humph!&rdquo; He read the inscription aloud, &ldquo;Major Cuthbertson S. Hardee. The
+      Major, hey! . . . Well, Is, you take the remains inside and you and I'll
+      hold services over it later.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I&mdash;I didn't go to do it,&rdquo; protested the frightened Issy.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Course you didn't. If you had you wouldn't. You're like the feller in
+      Scriptur', you leave undone the things you ought to do and do them that&mdash;All
+      right, Jim! Let her go! Cast off!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The conductor waved his hand, the engine puffed, the bell rang, and the
+      train moved onward. For another twelve hours East Harniss was left
+      marooned by the outside world.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Beriah Higgins and the mail bag were already in the post office. Thither
+      went the crowd to await the sorting and ultimate distribution. A short,
+      fat little man lingered and, walking up to the depot master, extended his
+      hand.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hello, Sol!&rdquo; he said, smiling. &ldquo;Thought I'd stop long enough to say
+      'Howdy,' anyhow.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Why, Bailey Stitt!&rdquo; cried the Captain. &ldquo;How are you? Glad to see you.
+      Thought you was down to South Orham, takin' out seasick parties for the
+      Ocean House, same kind of a job I used to have in Wellmouth.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I am,&rdquo; replied Captain Stitt. &ldquo;That is, I was. Just now I've run over
+      here to see about contractin' for a supply of clams and quahaugs for our
+      boarders. You never see such a gang to eat as them summer folks, in your
+      life. Barzilla Wingate, he says the same about his crowd. He's comin' on
+      the mornin' train from Wellmouth.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You don't tell me. I ain't seen Barzilla for a long spell. Where you
+      stoppin'? Come up to the house, won't you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Can't. I'm goin' to put up over to Obed Gott's. His sister, Polena Ginn,
+      is a relation of mine by marriage. So long! Obed's gone on ahead to tell
+      Polena to put the kettle on. Maybe Obed and I'll be back again after I've
+      had supper.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Do. I'll be round here for two or three hours yet.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He entered the depot. Except the forlorn Issy, who sat in a corner,
+      holding the express package in his lap, Simeon Phinney was the only person
+      in the waiting room.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Come on now, Sol!&rdquo; pleaded Sim. &ldquo;I want to hear the rest of that about
+      you and Williams. You left off in the most ticklish place possible, out of
+      spite, I do believe. I'm hangin' on to that boat in the breakers until I
+      declare I believe I'm catchin' cold just from imagination.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Wait a minute, Sim,&rdquo; said the depot master. Then he turned to his
+      assistant.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Issy,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;this is about the nineteenth time you've done just this
+      sort of thing. You're no earthly use and I ought to give you your
+      clearance papers. But I can't, you're too&mdash;well&mdash;ornamental.
+      You've got to be punished somehow and I guess the best way will be to send
+      you right up to Major Hardee's and let you give him the remnants. He'll
+      want to know how it happened, and you tell him the truth. The TRUTH,
+      understand? If you invent any fairy tales out of those novels of yours
+      I'll know it by and by and&mdash;well, YOU'LL know I know. No remarks,
+      please. Git!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy hesitated, seemed about to speak, thought better of it, took up
+      package and cap, and &ldquo;got.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Let's see,&rdquo; said the Captain, sitting down in one of the station chairs
+      and lighting a fresh cigar; &ldquo;where was Williams and I in that yarn of
+      mine? Oh, yes, I could see land and cal'lated we was goin' to bump. Well,
+      we did. Steerin' anyways but dead ahead was out of the question, and all I
+      could do was set my teeth and trust in my bein' a member of the church.
+      The Shootin' Star hit that beach like she was the real article. Overboard
+      went oar and canvas and grub pails, and everything else that wa'n't nailed
+      down, includin' Fatty and me. I grabbed him by the collar and wallowed
+      ashore.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Awk! hawk!' he gasps, chokin', 'I'm drownded.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I let him BE drownded, for the minute. I had the launch to think of, and
+      somehow or 'nother I got hold of her rodin' and hauled the anchor up above
+      tide mark. Then I attended to my passenger.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Where are we?' he asks.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I looked around. Close by was nothin' but beach-grass and seaweed and
+      sand. A little ways off was a clump of scrub pines and bayberry bushes
+      that looked sort of familiar. And back of them was a little board shanty
+      that looked more familiar still. I rubbed the salt out of my eyes.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'WELL!' says I. 'I swan to man!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What is it?' he says. 'Do you know where we are? Whose house is that?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I looked hard at the shanty.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Humph!' I grunted. 'I do declare! Talk about a feller's comin' back to
+      his own. Whose shanty is that? Well, it's mine, if you want to know. The
+      power that looks out for the lame and the lazy has hove us ashore on
+      Woodchuck Island, and that's a piece of real estate I own.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It sounds crazy enough, that's a fact; but it was true. Woodchuck Island
+      is a little mite of a sand heap off in the bay, two mile from shore and
+      ten from the nighest town. I'd bought it and put up a shanty for a gunnin'
+      shack; took city gunners down there, once in a while, the fall before.
+      That summer I'd leased it to a friend of mine, name of Darius Baker, who
+      used it while he was lobsterin'. The gale had driven us straight in from
+      sea, 'way past Sandy P'int and on to the island. 'Twas like hittin' a nail
+      head in a board fence, but we'd done it. Shows what Providence can do when
+      it sets out.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I explained some of this to Williams as we waded through the sand to the
+      shanty.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But is this Baker chap here now?' he asks.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I'm afraid not,' says I. 'The lobster season's about over, and he was
+      goin' South on a yacht this week. Still, he wa'n't to go till Saturday and
+      perhaps&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But the shanty was empty when we got there. I fumbled around in the tin
+      matchbox and lit the kerosene lamp in the bracket on the wall. Then I
+      turned to Williams.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Well,' says I, 'we're lucky for once in&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then I stopped. When he went overboard the water had washed off his hat.
+      Likewise it had washed off his long black hair&mdash;which was a wig&mdash;and
+      his head was all round and shiny and bald, like a gull's egg out in a rain
+      storm.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I knew he wore a wig,&rdquo; interrupted Phinney.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Of course you do. Everybody does now. But he wa'n't such a prophet in
+      Israel then as he's come to be since, and folks wa'n't acquainted with his
+      personal beauties.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What are you starin' at?' he asks.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I fetched a long breath. 'Nothin',' says I. 'Nothin'.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But for the rest of that next ha'f hour I went around in a kind of daze,
+      as if MY wig had gone and part of my head with it. When a feller has been
+      doin' a puzzle it kind of satisfies him to find out the answer. And I'd
+      done my puzzle.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I knew where I'd met Mr. Williams afore.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You did?&rdquo; cried Simeon.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Um-hm. Wait a while. Well, Fatty went to bed, in one of the hay bunks,
+      pretty soon after that. He stripped to his underclothes and turned in
+      under the patchwork comforters. He was too beat out to want any supper,
+      even if there'd been any in sight. I built a fire in the rusty cook stove
+      and dried his duds and mine. Then I set down in the busted chair and begun
+      to think. After a spell I got up and took account of stock, as you might
+      say, of the eatables in the shanty. Darius had carted off his own grub and
+      what there was on hand was mine, left over from the gunnin' season&mdash;a
+      hunk of salt pork in the pickle tub, some corn meal in a tin pail, some
+      musty white flour in another pail, a little coffee, a little sugar and
+      salt, and a can of condensed milk. I took these things out of the locker
+      they was in, looked 'em over, put 'em back again and sprung the padlock.
+      Then I put the key into my pocket and went back to my chair to do some
+      more thinkin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Next mornin' I was up early and when the banker turned out I was fryin' a
+      couple of slices of the pork and had some coffee b'ilin'. Likewise there
+      was a pan of johnnycake in the oven. The wind had gone down consider'ble,
+      but 'twas foggy and thick again, which was a pleasin' state of things for
+      yours truly.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Williams smelt the cookin' almost afore he got his eyes open.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hurry up with that breakfast,' he says to me. 'I'm hungry as a wolf.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I didn't say nothin' then; just went ahead with my cookin'. He got into
+      his clothes and went outdoor. Pretty soon he comes back, cussin' the
+      weather.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'See here, Mr. Williams,' says I, 'how about them orders to your
+      housekeeper? Are they straight? Won't she have you hunted up for a week?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He colored pretty red, but from what he said I made out that she
+      wouldn't. I gathered that him and the old lady wa'n't real chummy. She
+      give him his grub and her services, and he give her the Old Harry and her
+      wages. She wouldn't hunt for him, not until she was ordered to. She'd be
+      only too glad to have him out of the way.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Humph!' says I. 'Then I cal'late we'll enjoy the scenery on this garden
+      spot of creation until the week's up.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What do you mean?' says he.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Well,' I says, 'the launch is out of commission, unless it should rain
+      gasoline, and at this time of year there ain't likely to be a boat within
+      hailin' distance of this island; 'specially if the weather holds bad.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He swore a blue streak, payin' partic'lar attention to the housekeeper
+      for her general stupidness and to me because I'd got him, so he said, into
+      this scrape. I didn't say nothin'; set the table, with one plate and one
+      cup and sasser and knife and fork, hauled up a chair and set down to my
+      breakfast. He hauled up a box and set down, too.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Pass me that corn bread,' says he. 'And why didn't you fry more pork?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He was reachin' out for the johnnycake, but I pulled it out of his way.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Wait a minute, Mr. Williams,' says I. 'While you was snoozin' last night
+      I made out a kind of manifest of the vittles aboard this shanty. 'Cordin'
+      to my figgerin' here's scursely enough to last one husky man a week, let
+      along two husky ones. I paid consider'ble attention to your preachin'
+      yesterday and the text seemed to be to look out for number one. Now in
+      this case I'm the one and I've got to look out for myself. This is my
+      shanty, my island, and my grub. So please keep your hands off that
+      johnnycake.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;For a minute or so he set still and stared at me. Didn't seem to sense
+      the situation, as you might say. Then the red biled up in his face and
+      over his bald head like a Fundy tide.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Why, you dummed villain!' he shouts. 'Do you mean to starve me?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You won't starve in a week,' says I, helpin' myself to pork. 'A feller
+      named Tanner, that I read about years ago, lived for forty days on cold
+      water and nothin' else. There's the pump right over in the corner. It's my
+      pump, but I'll stretch a p'int and not charge for it this time.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You&mdash;you&mdash;' he stammers, shakin' all over, he was so mad.
+      'Didn't I hire you&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You hired me to take you out to the fishin' grounds and back, provided
+      the launch was made ready by YOU. It wa'n't ready, so THAT contract's
+      busted. And you was to furnish your extrys and I was to furnish mine. Here
+      they be and I need 'em. It's as legitimate a deal as ever I see; perfect
+      case of supply and demand&mdash;supply for one and demand for two. As I
+      said afore, I'm the one.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'By thunder!' he growls, standin' up, 'I'll show you&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I stood up, too. He was fat and flabby and I was thin and wiry. We looked
+      each other over.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I wouldn't,' says I. 'You're under the doctor's care, you know.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So he set down again, not havin' strength even to swear, and watched me
+      eat my breakfast. And I ate it slow.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Say,' he says, finally, 'you think you're mighty smart, don't you. Well,
+      I'm It, I guess, for this time. I suppose you'll have no objection to
+      SELLIN' me a breakfast?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No&mdash;o,' says I, 'not a mite of objection. I'll sell you a couple of
+      slices of pork for five dollars a slice and&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'FIVE DOLLARS a&mdash;!' His mouth dropped open like a main hatch.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Sartin,' I says. 'And two slabs of johnnycake at five dollars a slab.
+      And a cup of coffee at five dollars a cup. And&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You're crazy!' he sputters, jumpin' up.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Not much, I ain't. I've been settin' at your feet larnin' high finance,
+      that's all. You don't seem to be onto the real inwardness of this deal.
+      I've got the grub market cornered, that's all. The market price of
+      necessaries is five dollars each now; it's likely to rise at any time, but
+      now it's five.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He looked at me steady for at least two more minutes. Then he got up and
+      banged out of that shanty. A little later I see him down at the end of the
+      sand spit starin' out into the fog; lookin' for a sail, I presume likely.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I finished my breakfast and washed up the dishes. He come in by and by.
+      He hadn't had no dinner nor supper, you see, and the salt air gives most
+      folks an almighty appetite.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Say,' he says, 'I've been thinkin'. It's usual in the stock and
+      provision market to deal on a margin. Suppose I pay you a one per cent
+      margin now and&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'All right,' says I, cheerful. 'Then I'll give you a slip of paper sayin'
+      that you've bought such and such slices of pork and hunks of johnnycake
+      and I'm carryin' 'em for you on a margin. Of course there ain't no
+      delivery of the goods now because&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Humph!' he interrupts, sour. 'You seem to know more'n I thought you did.
+      Now are you goin' to be decent and make me a fair price or ain't you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Can't sell under the latest quotations,' says I. 'That's five now; and
+      spot cash.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But hang it all!' he says, 'I haven't got money enough with me. Think I
+      carry a national bank around in my clothes?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You carry a Wellmouth Bank check book,' says I, 'because I see it in
+      your jacket pocket last night when I was dryin' your duds. I'll take a
+      check.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He started to say somethin' and then stopped. After a spell he seemed to
+      give in all to once.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Very good,' he says. 'You get my breakfast ready and I'll make out the
+      check.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That breakfast cost him twenty-five dollars; thirty really, because he
+      added another five for an extry cup of coffee. I told him to make the
+      check payable to 'Bearer,' as 'twas quicker to write than 'Solomon.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He had two more meals that day and at bedtime I had his checks amountin'
+      to ninety-five dollars. The fog stayed with us all the time and nobody
+      come to pick us up. And the next mornin's outlook was just as bad, bein' a
+      drizzlin' rain and a high wind. The mainland beach was in sight but that's
+      all except salt water and rain.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He was surprisin'ly cheerful all that day, eatin' like a horse and givin'
+      up his meal checks without a whimper. If things had been different from
+      what they was I'd have felt like a mean sneak thief. BEIN' as they was, I
+      counted up the hundred and ten I'd made that day without a pinch of
+      conscience.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;This was a Wednesday. On Thursday, the third day of our Robinson Crusoe
+      business, the weather was still thick, though there was signs of clearin'.
+      Fatty come to me after breakfast&mdash;which cost him thirty-five,
+      payable, as usual, to 'Bearer'&mdash;with almost a grin on his big face.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Berry,' he says, 'I owe you an apology. I thought you was a green Rube,
+      like the rest down here, but you're as sharp as they make 'em. I ain't the
+      man to squeal when I get let in on a bad deal, and the chap who can work
+      me for a sucker is entitled to all he can make. But this pay-as-you-go
+      business is too slow and troublesome. What'll you take for the rest of the
+      grub in the locker there, spot cash? Be white, and make a fair price.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I'd been expectin' somethin' like this, and I was ready for him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Two hundred and sixty-five dollars,' says I, prompt.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He done a little figgerin'. 'Well, allowin' that I have to put up on this
+      heap of desolation for the better part of four days more, that's cheap,
+      accordin' to your former rates,' he says. 'I'll go you. But why not make
+      it two fifty, even?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Two hundred and sixty-five's my price,' says I. So he handed over
+      another 'Bearer' check, and his board bill was paid for a week.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Friday was a fine day, clear as a bell. Me and Williams had a real
+      picnicky, sociable time. Livin' outdoor this way had made him forget his
+      diseases and the doctor, and he showed signs of bein' ha'fway decent. We
+      loafed around and talked and dug clams to help out the pork&mdash;that is,
+      I dug 'em and Fatty superintended. We see no less'n three sailin' craft go
+      by down the bay and tried our best to signal 'em, but they didn't pay
+      attention&mdash;thought we was gunners or somethin', I presume likely.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;At breakfast on Saturday, Williams begun to ask questions again.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Sol,' says he, 'it surprised me to find that you knew what a &ldquo;margin&rdquo;
+       was. You didn't get that from anything I said. Where did you get it?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I leaned back on my box seat.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Mr. Williams,' says I, 'I cal'late I'll tell you a little story, if you
+      want to hear it. 'Tain't much of a yarn, as yarns go, but maybe it'll
+      interest you. The start of it goes back to consider'ble many year ago,
+      when I was poorer'n I be now, and a mighty sight younger. At that time me
+      and another feller, a partner of mine, had a fish weir out in the bay
+      here. The mackerel struck in and we done well, unusual well. At the end of
+      the season, not countin' what we'd spent for livin' and expenses, we had a
+      balance owin' us at our fish dealer's up to Boston of five hundred dollars&mdash;two
+      fifty apiece. My partner was goin' to be married in the spring and was
+      cal'latin' to use his share to buy furniture for the new house with. So we
+      decided we'd take a trip up to Boston and collect the money, stick it into
+      some savin's bank where 'twould draw interest until spring and then haul
+      it out and use it. 'Twas about every cent we had in the world.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'So to Boston we went, collected our money, got the address of a safe
+      bank and started out to find it. But on the way my partner's hat blowed
+      off and the bank address, which was on a slip of paper inside of it, got
+      lost. So we see a sign on a buildin', along with a lot of others, that
+      kind of suggested bankin', and so we stepped into the buildin' and went
+      upstairs to ask the way again.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'The place wa'n't very big, but 'twas fixed up fancy and there was a kind
+      of blackboard along the end of the room where a boy was markin' up figgers
+      in chalk. A nice, smilin' lookin' man met us and, when we told him what we
+      wanted, he asked us to set down. Then, afore we knowed it almost, we'd
+      told him the whole story&mdash;about the five hundred and all. The feller
+      said to hold on a spell and he'd go along with us and show us where the
+      savin's bank was himself.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'So we waited and all the time the figgers kept goin' up on the board,
+      under signs of &ldquo;Pork&rdquo; and &ldquo;Wheat&rdquo; and &ldquo;Cotton&rdquo; and such, and we'd hear how
+      so and so's account was makin' a thousand a day, and the like of that.
+      After a while the nice man, who it turned out was one of the bosses of the
+      concern, told us what it meant. Seemed there was a big &ldquo;rise&rdquo; in the
+      market and them that bought now was bound to get rich quick. Consequent we
+      said we wished we could buy and get rich, too. And the smilin' chap says,
+      &ldquo;Let's go have some lunch.&rdquo;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Williams laughed. 'Ho, ho!' says he. 'Expensive lunch, was it?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Most extravagant meal of vittles ever I got away with,' I says. 'Cost me
+      and my partner two hundred and fifty apiece, that lunch did. We stayed in
+      Boston two days, and on the afternoon of the second day we was on our way
+      back totin' a couple of neat but expensive slips of paper signifyin' that
+      we'd bought December and May wheat on a one per cent margin. We was a
+      hundred ahead already, 'cordin' to the blackboard, and was figgerin' what
+      sort of palaces we'd build when we cashed in.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Ain't no use preachin' a long sermon over the remains. 'Twas a simple
+      funeral and nobody sent flowers. Inside of a month we was cleaned out and
+      the wheat place had gone out of business&mdash;failed, busted, you
+      understand. Our fish dealer friend asked some questions, and found out the
+      shebang wa'n't a real stock dealer's at all. 'Twas what they call a
+      &ldquo;bucket shop,&rdquo; and we'd bought nothin' but air, and paid a commission for
+      buyin' it. And the smilin', nice man that run the swindle had been hangin'
+      on the edge of bust for a long while and knowed 'twas comin'. Our five
+      hundred had helped pay his way to a healthier climate, that's all.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hold on a minute,' says Fatty, lookin' more interested. 'What was the
+      name of the firm that took you greenhorns in?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;''Twas the Empire Bond, Stock and Grain Exchange,' says I. 'And 'twas on
+      Derbyshire Street.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He give a little jump. Then he says, slow, Hu-u-m! I&mdash;see.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes,' says I. 'I thought you would. You had a mustache then and your
+      name was diff'rent, but you seemed familiar just the same. When your false
+      hair got washed off I knew you right away.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He took out his pocket pen and his check book and done a little
+      figgerin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Humph!' he says, again. 'You lost five hundred and I've paid you five
+      hundred and five. What's the five for?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'That's my commission on the sales,' I says.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And just then comes a hail from outside the shanty. Out we bolted and
+      there was Sam Davis, just steppin' ashore from his power boat. Williams's
+      housekeeper had strained a p'int and had shaded her orders by a couple of
+      days.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Williams and Sam started for home right off. I followed in the Shootin'
+      Star, havin' borrered gasoline enough for the run. I reached the dock ha'f
+      an hour after they did, and there was Fatty waitin' for me.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Berry,' says he, 'I've got a word or two to say to you. I ain't kickin'
+      at your givin' me tit for tat, or tryin' to. Turn about's fair play, if
+      you can call the turn. But it's against my principles to allow anybody to
+      beat me on a business deal. Do you suppose,' he says, 'that I'd have paid
+      your robber's prices without a word if I hadn't had somethin' up my
+      sleeve? Why, man,' says he, 'I gave you my CHECKS, not cash. And I've just
+      telephoned to the Wellmouth Bank to stop payment on those checks. They're
+      no earthly use to you; see? There's one or two things about high finance
+      that you don't know even yet. Ho, ho!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And he rocked back and forth on his heels and laughed.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I held up my hand. 'Wait a jiffy, Mr. Williams,' says I. 'I guess these
+      checks are all right. When we fust landed on Woodchuck, I judged by the
+      looks of the shanty that Baker hadn't left it for good. I cal'lated he'd
+      be back. And sure enough he come back, in his catboat, on Thursday
+      evenin', after you'd turned in. Them checks was payable to &ldquo;Bearer,&rdquo; you
+      remember, so I give 'em to him. He was to cash 'em in the fust thing
+      Friday mornin', and I guess you'll find he's done it.'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, I swan to MAN!&rdquo; interrupted the astonished and delighted Phinney.
+      &ldquo;So you had him after all! And I was scart you'd lost every cent.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Sol chuckled. &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; he went on, &ldquo;I had him, and his eyes and
+      mouth opened together.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'WHAT?' he bellers. 'Do you mean to say that a boat stopped at that
+      dummed island and DIDN'T TAKE US OFF?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh,' says I, 'Darius didn't feel called on to take you off, not after I
+      told him who you was. You see, Mr. Williams,' I says, 'Darius Baker was my
+      partner in that wheat speculation I was tellin' you about.'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The Captain drew a long breath and re-lit his cigar, which had gone out.
+      His friend pounded the settee ecstatically.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There!&rdquo; he cried. &ldquo;I knew the name 'Darius Baker' wa'n't so strange to
+      me. When was you and him in partners, Sol?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Oh, 'way back in the old days, afore I went to sea at all, and afore
+      mother died. You wouldn't remember much about it. Mother and I was livin'
+      in Trumet then and our house here was shut up. I was only a kid, or not
+      much more, and Williams was young, too.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And that's the way he made his money! HIM! Why, he's the most respected
+      man in this neighborhood, and goes to church, and&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes. Well, if you make money ENOUGH you can always be respected&mdash;by
+      some kinds of people&mdash;and find some church that'll take you in. Ain't
+      that so, Bailey?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Stitt and his cousin, Obed Gott, the paint dealer, were standing
+      in the doorway of the station. They now entered.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I guess it's so,&rdquo; replied Stitt, pulling up a chair, &ldquo;though I don't know
+      what you was talkin' about. However, it's a pretty average safe bet that
+      what you say is so, Sol, 'most any time. What's the special 'so,' this
+      time?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We was talkin' about Mr. Williams,&rdquo; began Phinney.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The Grand Panjandrum of East Harniss,&rdquo; broke in the depot master. &ldquo;East
+      Harniss is blessed with a great man, Bailey, and, like consider'ble many
+      blessin's he ain't entirely unmixed.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Obed and Simeon looked puzzled, but Captain Stitt bounced in his chair
+      like a good-natured rubber ball. &ldquo;Ho! ho!&rdquo; he chuckled, &ldquo;you don't
+      surprise me, Sol. We had a great man over to South Orham three years ago
+      and he begun by blessin's and ended with&mdash;with t'other thing. Ho!
+      ho!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What do you mean?&rdquo; demanded Sim.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Why, I mean Stingy Gabe. You've heard of Stingy Gabe, ain't you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I guess we've all heard somethin' about him,&rdquo; laughed Captain Sol; &ldquo;but
+      we're willin' to hear more. He was a reformer, wa'n't he?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He sartin was! Ho! ho!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;For the land sakes, tell it, Bailey,&rdquo; demanded Mr. Gott impatiently.
+      &ldquo;Don't sit there bouncin' and gurglin' and gettin' purple in the face.
+      Tell it, or you'll bust tryin' to keep it in.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Oh, it's a great, long&mdash;&rdquo; began Captain Bailey protestingly.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Go on,&rdquo; urged Phinney. &ldquo;We've got more time than anything else, the most
+      of us. Who was this Stingy Gabe?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; urged Gott, &ldquo;and what did he reform?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Stitt held up a compelling hand. &ldquo;It's all of a piece,&rdquo; he
+      interrupted. &ldquo;It takes in everything, like an eatin'-house stew. And, as
+      usual in them cases, the feller that ordered it didn't know what was
+      comin' to him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Stingy Gabe was that feller. His Sunday name was Gabriel Atkinson Holway,
+      and his dad used to peddle fish from Orham to Denboro and back. The old
+      man was christened Gabriel, likewise. He owed 'most everybody, and,
+      besides, was so mean that he kept the scales and trimmin's of the fish he
+      sold to make chowder for himself and family. All hands called him 'Stingy
+      Gabe,' and the boy inherited the name along with the fifteen hundred
+      dollars that the old man left when he died. He cleared out&mdash;young
+      Gabe did&mdash;soon as the will was settled and afore the outstandin'
+      debts was, and nobody in this latitude see hide nor hair of him till three
+      years ago this comin' spring.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then, lo and behold you! he drops off the parlor car at the Orham station
+      and cruises down to South Orham, bald-headed and bay-windowed, sufferin'
+      from pomp and prosperity. Seems he'd been spendin' his life cornerin'
+      copper out West and then copperin' the corners in Wall Street. The folks
+      in his State couldn't put him in jail, so they sent him to Congress. Now,
+      as the Honorable Atkinson Holway, he'd come back to the Cape to rest his
+      wrist, which had writer's cramp from signin' stock certificates, and to
+      ease his eyes with a sight of the dear old home of his boyhood.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Bill Nickerson comes postin' down to me with the news.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Bailey,' says he, 'what do you think's happened? Stingy Gabe's struck
+      the town.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'For how much?' I asks, anxious. 'Don't let him have it, whatever 'tis.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then he went on to explain. Gabe was rich as all get out, and 'twas his
+      intention to buy back his old man's house and fix it up for a summer home.
+      He was delighted to find how little change there was in South Orham.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No matter if 'tain't but fifteen cents he'll get it, if the s'lectmen
+      don't watch him,' I says; and the bills, too. I know HIS tribe.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You don't understand,' says Nickerson. 'He ain't no thief. He's rich, I
+      tell you, and he's cal'latin' to do the town good.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Course he is,' I says. 'It runs in the family. His dad done it good, too&mdash;good
+      as 'twas ever done, I guess.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But next day Gabe himself happens along, and I see right off that I'd
+      made a mistake in my reckonin'. The Honorable Atkinson Holway wa'n't
+      figgerin' to borrow nothin'. When a chap has been skinnin' halibut,
+      minnows are too small for him to bother with. Gabe was full of fried clams
+      and philanthropy.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'By Jove! Stitt,' he says, 'livin' here has been the dream of my life.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You'll be glad to wake up, won't you?' says I. 'I wish I could.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I tell you,' he says, 'this little old village is all right! All it
+      needs is a public-spirited resident to help it along. I propose to be the
+      P. S. R.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And on that program he started right in. Fust off he bought his dad's old
+      place, built it over into the eight-sided palace that's there now, fetched
+      down a small army of servants skippered by an old housekeeper, and
+      commenced to live simple but complicated. Then, havin' provided the
+      needful charity for himself, he's ready to scatter manna for the starvin'
+      native.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He had a dozen schemes laid out. One was to build a free but expensive
+      library; another was to pave the main road with brick; third was to give
+      stained-glass windows and velvet cushions to the meetin' house, so's the
+      congregation could sleep comfortable in a subdued light. The stained-glass
+      idee put him in close touch with the minister, Reverend Edwin Fisher, and
+      the minister suggested the men's club. And he took to that men's club
+      scheme like an old maid to strong tea; the rest of the improvements went
+      into dry dock to refit while Admiral Gabe got his men's club off the ways.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas the billiard room that made the minister hanker for a men's club.
+      That billiard room was the worry of his life. Old man Jotham Gale run it
+      and had run it sence the Concord fight, in a way of speakin'. You remember
+      his sign, maybe: 'Jotham W. Gale. Billiard, Pool, and Sipio Saloon. Cigars
+      and Tobacco. Tonics and Pipes. Minors under Ten Years of Age not
+      Admitted.' Jotham's customers was called, by the outsiders, 'the
+      billiard-room gang.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The billiard room gang wa'n't the best folks in town, I'll own right up
+      to that. Still, they wa'n't so turrible wicked. Jotham never sold rum, and
+      he'd never allow no rows in his place. But, just the same, his saloon was
+      reckoned a bad influence. Young men hadn't ought to go there&mdash;most of
+      us said that. If there was a nicer place TO go, argues the minister,
+      'twould help the moral tone of the community consider'ble. 'Why not,' says
+      he to Stingy Gabe, 'start a free club for men that'll make the billiard
+      room look like the tail boat in a race?' And says Gabe: 'Bully! I'll do
+      it.'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Stitt paused long enough to enjoy a chuckle all by himself. Before
+      he had quite finished his laugh, slow and reluctant steps were heard on
+      the back platform and Issy appeared on the threshold. He was without the
+      package, but did not look happy.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, Is,&rdquo; inquired the depot master, &ldquo;did you give the remains to the
+      Major?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, sir,&rdquo; answered Issy.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Did you tell him how the shockin' fatality happened? How the thing got
+      broken?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, sir, I told him.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What did he say? Didn't let his angry passions rise, did he?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No-o; no, sir, he didn't rise nothin'. He didn't get mad neither. But you
+      could see he felt pretty bad. Talked about 'old family glass' and
+      'priceless airloons' or some such. Said much as he regretted to, he should
+      feel it no more'n justice to have somebody pay damages.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Humph!&rdquo; Captain Sol looked very grave. &ldquo;Issy, I can see your finish.
+      You'll have to pay for somethin' that's priceless, and how are you goin'
+      to do that? 'Old family glass,' hey? Hum! And I thought I saw the label of
+      a Boston store on that package.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Obed Gott leaned forward eagerly.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Is that Major Hardee you're talkin' about?&rdquo; he asked.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, sir. He's the only Major we've got. Cap'ns are plenty as June bugs,
+      but Majors and Gen'rals are scarce. Why?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Oh, nothin'. Only&mdash;&rdquo; Mr. Gott muttered the remainder of the sentence
+      under his breath. However, the depot master heard it and his eye twinkled.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You're glad of it!&rdquo; he exclaimed. &ldquo;Why, Obed! Major Cuthbertson Scott
+      Hardee! I'm surprised. Better not let the women folks hear you say that.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Look here!&rdquo; cried Captain Stitt, rather tartly, &ldquo;am I goin' to finish
+      that yarn of mine or don't you want to hear it?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;BEG your pardon, Bailey. Go on. The last thing you said was what Stingy
+      Gabe said, and that was&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0003" id="link2HCH0003">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER III
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      &ldquo;STINGY GABE&rdquo;
+     </h3>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And that,&rdquo; said Captain Bailey, mollified by the renewed interest of his
+      listeners, &ldquo;was, 'Bully! I'll do it!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So he calls a meetin' of everybody interested, at his new house. About
+      every respectable man in town was there, includin' me. Most of the
+      billiard-room gang was there, likewise. Jotham, of course, wa'n't invited.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Gabe calls the meetin' to order and the minister makes a speech tellin'
+      about the scheme. 'Our generous and public-spirited citizen, Honorable
+      Atkinson Holway,' had offered to build a suitable clubhouse, fix it up,
+      and donate it to the club, them and their heirs forever, Amen. 'Twas to
+      belong to the members to do what they pleased with&mdash;no strings tied
+      to it at all. Dues would be merely nominal, a dollar a year or some such
+      matter. Now, who favored such a club as that?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, 'most everybody did. Daniel Bassett, chronic politician, justice of
+      the peace, and head of the 'Conservatives' at town meetin', he made a
+      talk, and in comes him and his crew. Gaius Ellis, another chronic, who is
+      postmaster and skipper of the 'Progressives,' had been fidgetin' in his
+      seat, and now up he bobs and says he's for it; then every 'Progressive'
+      jines immediate. But the billiard-roomers; they didn't jine. They looked
+      sort of sheepish, and set still. When Mr. Fisher begun to hint p'inted in
+      their direction, they got up and slid outdoor. And right then I'd ought to
+      have smelt trouble, but I didn't; had a cold in my head, I guess likely.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Next thing was to build the new clubhouse, and Gabe went at it hammer and
+      tongs. He had a big passel of carpenters down from the city, and inside of
+      three months the buildin' was up, and she was a daisy, now I tell you.
+      There was a readin' room and a meetin' room and an 'amusement room.' The
+      amusements was crokinole and parchesi and checkers and the like of that.
+      Also there was a gymnasium and a place where you could play the pianner
+      and sing&mdash;till the sufferin' got acute and somebody come along and
+      abated you.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;When I fust went inside that clubhouse I see 'twas bound to be 'Good-by,
+      Bill,' for Jotham. His customers would shake his ratty old shanty for
+      sartin, soon's they see them elegant new rooms. I swan, if I didn't feel
+      sorry for the old reprobate, and, thinks I, I'll drop around and
+      sympathize a little. Sympathy don't cost nothin', and Jotham's pretty good
+      company.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I found him settin' alongside the peanut roaster, watchin' a couple of
+      patients cruelize the pool table.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hello, Bailey!' says he. 'You surprise me. Ain't you 'fraid of catchin'
+      somethin' in this ha'nt of sin? Have a chair, anyhow. And a cigar, won't
+      you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I took the chair, but I steered off from the cigar, havin' had
+      experience. Told him I guessed I'd use my pipe. He chuckled.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Fur be it from me to find fault with your judgment,' he says. 'Terbacker
+      does smoke better'n anything else, don't it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We set there and puffed for five minutes or so. Then he sort of jumped.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What's up?' says I.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, nothin'!' he says. 'Bije Simmons got a ball in the pocket, that's
+      all. Don't do that too often, Bije; I got a weak heart. Well, Bailey,' he
+      adds, turnin' to me, 'Gabe's club's fixed up pretty fine, ain't it?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Why, yes,' I says; ''tis.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Finest ever I see,' says he. 'I told him so when I was in there.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What?' says I. 'You don't mean to say YOU'VE been in that clubroom?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Sartin. Why not? I want to take in all the shows there is&mdash;'specially
+      the free ones. Make a good billiard room, that clubhouse would.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I whistled. 'Whew!' says I. 'Didn't tell Gabe THAT, did you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He nodded. 'Yup,' says he. 'I told him.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I whistled again. 'What answer did he make?' I asked.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, he wa'n't enthusiastic. Seemed to cal'late I'd better shut up my
+      head and my shop along with it, afore he knocked off one and his club
+      knocked out t'other.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I pitied the old rascal; I couldn't help it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Jotham,' says I, 'I ain't the wust friend you've got in South Orham,
+      even if I don't play pool much. If I was you I'd clear out of here and
+      start somewheres else. You can't fight all the best folks in town.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He didn't make no answer. Just kept on a-puffin'. I got up to go. Then he
+      laid his hand on my sleeve.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Bailey,' says he, 'when Betsy Mayo was ailin', her sister's tribe was
+      all for the Faith Cure and her husband's relations was high for patent
+      medicine. When the Faith Curists got to workin', in would come some of the
+      patent mediciners and give 'em the bounce. And when THEY went home for the
+      night, the Faithers would smash all the bottles. Finally they got so busy
+      fightin' 'mong themselves that Betsy see she was gettin' no better fast,
+      and sent for the reg'lar doctor. HE done the curin', and got the pay.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Well,' says I, 'what of it?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Nothin',' says he. 'Only I've been practisin' a considerable spell. So
+      long. Come in again some time when it's dark and the respectable element
+      can't see you.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I went away thinkin' hard. And next mornin' I hunted up Gabe, and says I:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Mr. Holway,' I says, 'what puzzles me is how you're goin' to elect the
+      officers for the new club. Put up a Conservative and the Progressives
+      resign. H'ist the Progressive ensign and the Conservatives'll mutiny. As
+      for the billiard-roomers&mdash;providin' any jine&mdash;they've never been
+      known to vote for anybody but themselves. I can't see no light yet&mdash;nothin'
+      but fog.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He winks, sly and profound. 'That's all right,' says he. 'Fisher and I
+      have planned that. You watch!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sure enough, they had. The minister was mighty popular, so, when 'twas
+      out that he was candidate to be fust president of the club, all hands was
+      satisfied. Two vice presidents was named&mdash;one bein' Bassett and
+      t'other Ellis. Secretary was a leadin' Conservative; treasurer a head
+      Progressive. Officers and crew was happy and mutiny sunk ten fathoms. ONLY
+      none of the billiard-room gang had jined, and they was the fish we was
+      really tryin' for.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas next March afore one of 'em did come into the net, though we'd have
+      on all kinds of bait&mdash;suppers and free ice cream Saturday nights, and
+      the like of that. And meantime things had been happenin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The fust thing of importance was Gabe's leavin' town. Our Cape winter
+      weather was what fixed him. He stood the no'theasters and Scotch drizzles
+      till January, and then he heads for Key West and comfort. Said his heart
+      still beat warm for his native village, but his feet was froze&mdash;or
+      words similar. He cal'lated to be back in the spring. Then the Reverend
+      Fisher got a call to somewheres in York State, and felt he couldn't afford
+      not to hear it. Nobody blamed him; the salary paid a minister in South
+      Orham is enough to make any feller buy patent ear drums. But that left our
+      men's club without either skipper or pilot, as you might say.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;One week after the farewell sermon, Daniel Bassett drops in casual on me.
+      He was passin' around smoking material lavish and regardless.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Stitt,' says he, 'you've always voted for Conservatism in our local
+      affairs, haven't you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Well,' says I, 'I didn't vote to roof the town hall with a new mortgage,
+      if that's what you mean.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Exactly,' he says. 'Now, our men's club, while not as yet the success we
+      hoped for, has come to be a power for good in our community. It needs for
+      its president a conservative, thoughtful man. Bailey,' he says, 'it has
+      come to my ears that Gaius Ellis intends to run for that office. You know
+      him. As a taxpayer, as a sober, thoughtful citizen, my gorge rises at such
+      insolence. I protest, sir! I protest against&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He was standin' up, makin' gestures with both arms, and he had his
+      town-meetin' voice iled and runnin'. I was too busy to hanker for a stump
+      speech, so I cut across his bows.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'All right, all right,' says I. 'I'll vote for you, Dan.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He fetched a long breath. 'Thank you,' says he. 'Thank you. That makes
+      ten. Ellis can count on no more than nine. My election is assured.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Seein' that there wa'n't but nineteen reg'lar voters who come to the club
+      meetin's, if Bassett had ten of 'em it sartin did look as if he'd get in.
+      But on election night what does Gaius Ellis do but send a wagon after old
+      man Solomon Peavey, who'd been dry docked with rheumatiz for three months,
+      and Sol's vote evened her up. 'Twas ten to ten, a deadlock, and the
+      election was postponed for another week.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;This was of a Tuesday. On Wednesday I met Bije Simmons, the chap who was
+      playin' pool at Jotham's.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hey, Bailey!' says he. 'Shake hands with a brother. I'm goin' to jine
+      the men's club.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You BE?' says I, surprised enough, for Simmons was a billiard-roomer
+      from 'way back.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yup,' he says. 'I'll be voted in at next meetin', sure. I'm studyin' up
+      on parchesi now.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hum!' I says, thinkin'. 'How you goin to vote?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Me?' says he. 'Me? Why, man, I wonder at you! Can't you see the fires of
+      Conservatism blazin' in my eyes? I'm Conservative bred and Conservative
+      born, and when I'm dead there'll be a Conservative gone. By, by. See you
+      Tuesday night.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He went off, stoppin' everybody he met to tell 'em the news. And on
+      Thursday Ed Barnes dropped in to pay me the seventy-five cents he'd
+      borrowed two years ago come Fourth of July. When I'd got over the fust
+      shock and had counted the money three times, I commenced to ask questions.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Somebody die and will you a million, Ed?' I wanted to know.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No,' says he. 'It's the reward of virtue. I'm goin' to be a better man.
+      I'm jinin' the men's club.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'NO!' says I, for Ed was as strong a billiard-roomer as Bije.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Sure!' he answers. 'I'm filled full of desires for crokinole and
+      progressiveness. See you Tuesday night at the meetin'.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And, would you b'lieve it, at that meetin' no less'n six confirmed
+      members of the billiard-room gang was voted into the men's club. 'Twas a
+      hallelujah gatherin'. I couldn't help thinkin' how glad and proud Gabe and
+      Mr. Fisher would have been to see their dreams comin' true. But Bassett
+      and Ellis looked more worried than glad, and when the votin' took place I
+      understood the reason. Them new members had divided even, and the ballots
+      stood Bassett thirteen and Ellis thirteen. The tie was still on and the
+      election was put off for another week.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;In that week, surprisin' as it may seem, two more billiard-roomers seen a
+      light and jined with us. However, one was for Bassett and t'other for
+      Ellis, so the deadlock wa'n't broken. Jotham had only a couple of his
+      reg'lars left, and I swan to man if THEY didn't catch the disease inside
+      of the follerin' fortni't and hand in their names. The 'Billiard, Pool,
+      and Sipio Saloon,' from bein' the liveliest place in town, was now the
+      deadest. Through the window you could see poor Jotham mopin' lonesome
+      among his peanuts and cigars. The sayin' concernin' the hardness of the
+      transgressor's sleddin' was workin' out for HIM, all right. But the
+      conversions had come so sudden that I couldn't understand it, though I did
+      have some suspicions.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Look here, Dan,' says I to Bassett, 'are you goin' to keep this up till
+      judgment? There ain't but thirty votin' names in this place&mdash;except
+      the chaps off fishin', and they won't be back till fall. Fifteen is for
+      you and fifteen for Gaius. Most astonishin' agreement of difference ever I
+      see. We'll never have a president, at this rate.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He winked. 'Won't, hey?' he says. 'Sure you've counted right? I make it
+      thirty-one.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I don't see how,' says I, puzzled. 'Nobody's left outside the club but
+      Jotham himself, and he&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'That's all right,' he interrupts, winkin' again. 'You be on hand next
+      Tuesday night. You can't always tell, maybe somethin'll happen.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I was on hand, all right, and somethin' did happen, two somethin's, in
+      fact. We hadn't much more'n got in our seats afore the door opened, and in
+      walked Gaius Ellis, arm in arm with a man; and the man was the Honorable
+      Stingy Gabe Atkinson Holway.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Gentlemen,' sings out Gaius, bubblin' over with joy, 'I propose three
+      cheers for our founder, who has returned to us after his long absence.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We give the cheers&mdash;that is, some of the folks did. Bassett and our
+      gang wa'n't cheerin' much; they looked as if somebody had passed 'em a
+      counterfeit note. You see, Gabe Holway was one of the hide-boundest
+      Progressives afloat, and a blind man could see who'd got him back again
+      and which way he'd vote. It sartinly looked bad for Bassett now.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Gaius proposes that, out of compliment, as founder of the club, Mr.
+      Holway be asked to preside. So he was asked, though the Conservatives
+      wa'n't very enthusiastic. Gabe took the chair, preached a little sermon
+      about bein' glad to see his native home once more, and raps for order.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'If there's no other business afore the meetin',' says he, 'we will
+      proceed to ballot for president.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But it turned out that there was other business. Dan Bassett riz to his
+      feet and commenced one of the most feelin' addresses ever I listened to.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Fust he congratulated all hands upon the success of Mr. Holway's
+      philanthropic scheme for the betterment of South Orham's male citizens.
+      Jeered at at fust by the unregenerate, it had gone on, winnin' its way
+      into the hearts of the people, until one by one the said unregenerate had
+      regenerated, and now the club numbered thirty souls and the Honorable
+      Atkinson.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But,' says Dan, wavin' his arms, 'one man yet remains outside. One lone
+      man! The chief sinner, you say? Yes, I admit it. But, gentlemen, a
+      repentant sinner. Alone he sits amid the wreck of his business&mdash;a
+      business wrecked by us, gentlemen&mdash;without a customer, without a
+      friend. Shall it be said that the free and open-handed men's club of South
+      Orham turned its back upon one man, merely because he HAS been what he
+      was? Gentlemen, I have talked with Jotham Gale; he is old, he is
+      friendless, he no longer has a means of livelihood&mdash;we have taken it
+      from him. We have turned his followers' steps to better paths. Shall we
+      not turn his, also? Gentlemen and friends, Jotham Gale is repentant, he
+      feels his ostrichism'&mdash;whatever he meant by that&mdash;'he desires to
+      become self-respecting, and he asks us to help him. He wishes to join this
+      club. Gentlemen, I propose for membership in our association the name of
+      Jotham W. Gale.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He set down and mopped his face. And the powwow that broke loose was
+      somethin' tremendous. Of course 'twas plain enough what Dan's game was.
+      This was the 'somethin'' that was goin' to happen.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ellis see the way the land lay, and he bounces up to protest. 'Twas an
+      outrage; a scandal; ridiculous; and so forth, and so on. Poor Gabe didn't
+      know what to do, and so he didn't do nothin'. A head Conservative seconds
+      Jotham's nomination. 'Twas put to a vote and carried easy. Dan's speech
+      had had its effect and a good many folks voted out of sympathy. How did I
+      vote? I'LL never tell you.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And then Bassett gets up, smilin', goes to the outside door, opens it,
+      and leads in the new member. He'd been waitin' on the steps, it turned
+      out. Jotham looked mighty quiet and meek. I pitied the poor old codger
+      more'n ever. Snaked in, he was, out of the wet, like a yeller dog, by the
+      club that had kicked him out of his own shop.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Chairman Gabe pounds for order, and suggests that the votin' can go on.
+      But Ellis jumps up, and says he:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What's the sense of votin' now?' he asks sarcastic. 'Will the lost lamb
+      we've just yanked into the fold have the face to stand up and bleat that
+      he hasn't promised to vote Conservative? Dan Bassett, of all the
+      contemptible tricks that ever&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Bassett's face was redder'n a ripe tomatter. He shakes his fist in
+      Gaius's face and yells opinions and comments.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Don't you talk to me about tricks, you ward-heeler!' he hollers. 'Why
+      did you fetch Mr. Holway back home? Why did you, hey? That was the
+      trickiest trick that I&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Gabe pretty nigh broke his mallet thumpin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Gentlemen! gentlemen!' says he. 'This is most unseemly. Sit down, if you
+      PLEASE. Mr. Ellis, when the purpose of this association is considered, it
+      seems to me very wrong to find fault because the chief of our former
+      antagonists has seen the error of his ways and become one of us. Mr.
+      Bassett, I do not understand your intimation concernin' myself. I shall
+      adjourn this meetin' until next Friday evenin', gentlemen. Meanwhile, let
+      us remember that we ARE gentlemen.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He thumped the desk once, and parades out of the buildin', dignified as
+      Julius Caesar. The rest of us toddled along after him, all talkin' at
+      once. Bassett and Ellis glowered at each other and hove out hints about
+      what would happen afore they got through. 'Twas half-past ten afore I got
+      to bed that night, and Sarah J.&mdash;that's Mrs. Stitt&mdash;kept me
+      awake another hour explainin' whys and wherefores.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;For the next three days nobody done anything but knock off work and talk
+      club politics. You'd see 'em on the corners and in the post office and
+      camped on the meetin'-house steps, arguin' and jawin'. Dan and Gaius was
+      hurryin' around, moppin' their foreheads and lookin' worried. On Thursday
+      there was all sorts of rumors afloat. Finally they all simmered down to
+      one, and that one was what made me stop Stingy Gabe on the street and ask
+      for my bearin's.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Mr. Holway,' says I, 'is it true that Dan and Gaius have resigned and
+      agreed to vote for somebody else?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He nodded, grand and complacent.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Then who's the somebody?' says I. 'For the land sakes! tell me. It's as
+      big a miracle as the prodigal son.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I remember now that the prodigal son ain't a miracle, but I was excited
+      then.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Stitt,' says he, 'I am the &ldquo;somebody,&rdquo; as you call it. I have decided to
+      let my own wishes and inclinations count for nothin' in this affair, and
+      to accept the office of president myself. It will be announced at the
+      meetin'.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I whistled. 'By gum!' says I. 'You've got a great head, Mr. Holway, and I
+      give you public credit for it. It's the only course that ain't full of
+      breakers. Did you think of it yourself?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He colored up a little. 'Why, no, not exactly,' he says. 'The fact is,
+      the credit belongs to our new member, Mr. Gale.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'To JOTHAM?' says I, astonished.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes. He suggested my candidacy, as a compromise. Said that he, for one,
+      would be proud to vote for me. Mr. Gale seems thoroughly repentant, a
+      changed man. I am counting on him for great things in the future.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So the fuss seemed settled, thanks to the last person on earth you'd
+      expect would be peacemaker. But that afternoon I met Darius Tompkins,
+      Bassett's right-hand man.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Bailey,' says he, 'you're a Conservative, ain't you? You're for Dan
+      through thick and thin?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Why!' says I, 'I understand Dan and Gaius are both out of it now, and
+      it's settled on Holway. Dan's promised to vote for him.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'HE has,' says Tompkins, with a wink, 'but the rest of us ain't. We
+      pledged our votes to Dan Bassett, and we ain't the kind to go back on our
+      word. Dan himself'll vote for Gabe; so'll Gaius and his reg'lar tribe.
+      That'll make twelve, countin' Holway's own.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Make seventeen, you mean,' says I. 'Gaius and his crowd's fifteen and
+      Dan's sixteen and Gabe's seven&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He winked again, and interrupted me. 'You're countin' wrong, my boy,'
+      says he. 'Five of Gaius's folks come from the old billiard-room gang. Just
+      suppose somethin' happened to make that five vote, on the quiet, for
+      Bassett. Then&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;A customer come in then, and Tompkins had to leave; but afore he went he
+      got me to one side and whispers:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Keep mum, old man, and vote straight for Dan. We'll show old Holway that
+      we can't be led around by the nose.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Tompkins,' says I, 'I know your head well enough to be sartin that it
+      didn't work this out by itself. And why are you so sure of the billiard
+      roomers? Who put you up to this?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He rapped the side of his nose. 'The smartest politician in this town,'
+      says he, 'and the oldest&mdash;J. W. Gale, Esq.! S-s-sh-h! Don't say
+      nothin'.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I didn't say nothin'. I was past talk. And that evenin' as I went past
+      the billiard room on my way home, who should come out of it but Gaius
+      Ellis, and HE looked as happy as Tompkins had.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Friday night that clubroom was filled. Every member was there, and most
+      of 'em had fetched their wives and families along to see the fun. There
+      was whisperin' and secrecy everywheres. Honorable Gabe took the chair and
+      makes announcements that the shebang is open for business.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Up gets Dave Bassett and all but sheds tears. He says that he made up his
+      mind to vote, not for himself, but for the founder and patron of the club,
+      the Honorable Atkinson Holway. He spread it over Gabe thick as sugar on a
+      youngster's cake. And when he set down all hands applauded like fury. But
+      I noticed that he hadn't spoke for nary Conservative but himself.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then Gaius Ellis rises and sobs similar. He's stopped votin' for himself,
+      too. His ballot is for that grand and good man, Gabriel Atkinson Holway,
+      Esq. More applause and hurrahs.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And then who should get up but Jotham Gale. He talks humble, like a
+      has-been that knows he's a back number, but he says it's his privilege to
+      cast his fust vote in that club for Mr. Holway, South Orham's pride.
+      Nobody was expectin' him to say anything, and the cheers pretty nigh broke
+      the winders.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Gabe was turrible affected by the soft soap, you could see that. He
+      fairly sobbed as he sprinkled gratitude and acceptances. When the agony
+      was over, he says the votin' can begin.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I cal'lated he expected somebody'd move to make it unanimous, but they
+      didn't. So the blank ballots was handed around, and the pencils got busy.
+      Gabe app'ints three tellers, Bassett and Ellis, of course, for two&mdash;and
+      the third, Jotham Gale.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'As a compliment to our newest member,' says the chairman, smilin'
+      philanthropic.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;When the votes was in the hat, the tellers retired to the amusement room
+      to count up. It took a long time. I see the Conservatives and Progressives
+      nudgin' each other and winkin' back and forth. Five minutes, then ten,
+      then fifteen.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And all of a sudden the biggest row bu'st loose in that amusement room
+      that ever you heard. Rattlety&mdash;bang! Biff! Smash! The door flew open,
+      and in rolled Bassett and Ellis, all legs and arms. Gabe and some of the
+      rest hauled 'em apart and held 'em so, but the language them two hove at
+      each other was enough to bring down a judgment.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Gentlemen! gentlemen!' hollers poor Gabe. 'What in the world? I am
+      astounded! I&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You miserable traitor!' shrieks Gaius, wavin' a fist at Dan.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You low-down hound!' whoops Dan back at him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Silence!' bellers Gabe, poundin' thunder storms on the desk. 'Will some
+      one explain why these maniacs are&mdash;Ah, Mr. Gale&mdash;thank goodness,
+      YOU at least are sane!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Jotham walks to the front of the platform. He was holdin' the hat and a
+      slip of paper with the result set down on it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Ladies and feller members,' says he, 'there's been some surprisin'
+      votin' done in this election. Things ain't gone as we cal'lated they
+      would, somehow. Mr. Holway, your election wa'n't unanimous, after all.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The way he said it made most everybody think Gabe was elected, anyhow,
+      and I guess Holway thought so himself, for he smiled forgivin' and says:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Never mind, Mr. Gale,' says he. 'A unanimous vote was perhaps too much
+      to expect. Go on.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes,' says Jotham. 'Well, here's the way it stands. I'll read it to
+      you.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He fixes his specs and reads like this:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Number of votes cast, 32.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Honorable Atkinson Holway has 4.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'WHAT?' gasps Stingy Gabe, fallin' into his chair.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes, sir,' says Jotham. 'It's a shame, I know, but it looks as nobody
+      voted for you, Mr. Holway, but yourself and me and Dan and Gaius. To
+      proceed:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Daniel Bassett has 9.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The Conservatives and their women folks fairly groaned out loud. Tompkins
+      jumped to his feet, but Jotham held up a hand.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Just a moment, D'rius,' he says. 'I ain't through yet.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Gaius Ellis has 9.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then 'twas the Progressives' turn to groan. The racket and hubbub was
+      gettin' louder all the time.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'There's ten votes left,' goes on Jotham, 'and they bear the name of
+      Jotham W. Gale. I can't understand it, but it does appear that I'm elected
+      president of this 'ere club. Gentlemen, I thank you for the honor, which
+      is as great as 'tis unexpected.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Gabe and the Progressives and the Conservatives set and looked at each
+      other. And up jumps 'Bije Simmons, and calls for three cheers for the new
+      president.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Nobody jined in them cheers but the old billiard room gang; they did,
+      though, every one of 'em, and Jotham smiled fatherly down on his flock.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I s'pose there ain't no need of explainin'. Jotham had worked it all,
+      from the very fust. When the tie business begun and Gaius and Dan was
+      bribin' the billiard roomers to jine the club, 'twas him that fixed how
+      they should vote so's to keep the deadlock goin'. 'Twas him that put
+      Bassett up to proposin' him as a member. 'Twas him that suggested Gabe's
+      comin' back to Gaius. 'Twas him that&mdash;But what's the use? 'Twas him
+      all along. He was IT.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That night everybody but the billiard-room gang sent in their resignation
+      to that club. We refused to be bossed by such people. Gabe resigned, too.
+      He was disgusted with East Harniss and all hands in it. He'd have took
+      back the clubhouse, but he couldn't, as the deed of gift was free and
+      clear. But he swore he'd never give it another cent.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Folks thought that would end the thing, because it wouldn't be
+      self-supportin', but Jotham had different idees. He simply moved his pool
+      tables and truck up from the old shop, and now he's got the finest place
+      of the kind on the Cape, rent free.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I told you 'twould make a good billiard saloon, didn't I, Bailey?' he
+      says, chucklin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Jotham,' says I, 'of your kind you're a perfect wonder.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Well,' says he, 'I diagnosed that men's club as sufferin' from acute
+      politics. I've been doctorin' that disease for a long time. The trouble
+      with you reformers,' he adds, solemn, 'is that, when it comes to political
+      doin's, you ain't practical.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;As for Stingy Gabe, he shut up his fine house and moved to New York. Said
+      he was through with helpin' the moral tone.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'When I die,' he says to me, 'if I go to the bad place I may start in
+      reformin' that. It don't need it no more'n South Orham does, but 'twill be
+      enough sight easier job.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And,&rdquo; concluded Captain Stitt, as soon as he could be heard above the
+      &ldquo;Haw! haws!&rdquo; caused by the Honorable Holway's final summing-up of his
+      native town, &ldquo;I ain't so sure that he was greatly mistook. What do you
+      think, Sol?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The depot master shook his head. &ldquo;Don't know, Bailey,&rdquo; he answered, dryly.
+      &ldquo;I'll have to visit both places 'fore I give an opinion. I HAVE been to
+      South Orham, but the neighborhood that your friend Gabe compared it to I
+      ain't seen&mdash;yet. I put on that 'yet,'&rdquo; he added, with a wink, &ldquo;'cause
+      I knew Sim Phinney would if I didn't.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Bailey rose and covered a yawn with a plump hand.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I believe I'll go over to Obed's and turn in,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;I'm sleepy as a
+      minister's horse tonight. You don't mind, do you, Obed?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No-o,&rdquo; replied Mr. Gott, slowly. &ldquo;No, I don't, 'special. I kind of
+      thought I'd run into the club a few minutes and see some of the other
+      fellers. But it ain't important&mdash;not very.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The &ldquo;club&rdquo; was one of the rooms over Mr. Higgins's store and post office.
+      It had been recently fitted up with chairs and tables from its members'
+      garrets and, when the depot and store were closed, was a favorite
+      gathering place of those reckless ones who cared to &ldquo;set up late&rdquo;&mdash;that
+      is, until eleven o'clock. Most of the men in town belonged, but many,
+      Captain Berry among them, visited the room but seldom.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Checkers,&rdquo; said the depot master, referring to the &ldquo;club's&rdquo; favorite
+      game, &ldquo;is too deliberately excitin' for me. To watch Beriah Higgins and
+      Ezra Weeks fightin' out a game of checkers is like gettin' your feet froze
+      in January and waitin' for spring to come and thaw 'em out. It's a numbin'
+      kind of dissipation.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      But Obed Gott was a regular attendant at the &ldquo;club,&rdquo; and to-night he had a
+      particular reason for wishing to be there. His cousin noticed his
+      hesitation and made haste to relieve his mind.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That's all right, Obed,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;go to the club, by all means. I ain't
+      such a stranger at your house that I can't find my way to bed without
+      help. Good-night, Sim. Good-night, Issy. Cheer up; maybe the Major's
+      glassware IS priceless. So long, Cap'n Sol. See you again some time
+      tomorrer.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He and Mr. Gott departed. The depot master rose from his chair. &ldquo;Issy,&rdquo; he
+      commanded, &ldquo;shut up shop.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy obeyed, closing the windows and locking the front door. Captain Sol
+      himself locked the ticket case and put the cash till into the small safe.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That'll do, Is,&rdquo; said the Captain. &ldquo;Good-night. Don't worry too much over
+      the Major's glass. I'll talk with him, myself. You dream about pleasanter
+      things&mdash;your girl, if you've got one.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      That was a chance shot, but it struck Issy in the heart. Even during his
+      melancholy progress to and from Major Hardee's, the vision of Gertie
+      Higgins had danced before his greenish-blue eyes. His freckles were
+      engulfed in a surge of blushes as, with a stammered &ldquo;Night, Cap'n Berry,&rdquo;
+       he hurried out into the moonlight.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The depot master blew out the lamps. &ldquo;Come on, Sim,&rdquo; he said, briefly.
+      &ldquo;Goin' to walk up with me, or was YOU goin' to the club?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Cal'late I'll trot along with you, if you don't mind. I'd just as soon
+      get home early and wrastle with the figures on that Williams movin' job.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      They left the depot, locked and dark, passed the &ldquo;general store,&rdquo; where
+      Mr. Higgins was putting out his lights prior to adjournment to the &ldquo;club&rdquo;
+       overhead, walked up Main Street to Cross Street, turned and began climbing
+      the hill. Simeon spoke several times but his friend did not answer. A
+      sudden change had come over him. The good spirits with which he told of
+      his adventure with Williams and which had remained during Phinney's stay
+      at the depot, were gone, apparently. His face, in the moonlight, was grave
+      and he strode on, his hands in his pockets.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      At the crest of the hill he stopped.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Good-night, Sim,&rdquo; he said, shortly, and, turning, walked off.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The building mover gazed after him in surprise. The nearest way to the
+      Berry home was straight down Cross Street, on the other side of the hill,
+      to the Shore Road, and thence along that road for an eighth of a mile. The
+      Captain's usual course was just that. But to-night he had taken the long
+      route, the Hill Boulevard, which made a wide curve before it descended to
+      the road below.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Sim, who had had a shrewd suspicion concerning his friend's silence and
+      evident mental disturbance, stood still, looking and wondering. Olive
+      Edwards, Captain Berry's old sweetheart, lived on the Boulevard. She was
+      in trouble and the Captain knew it. He had asked, that very evening, what
+      she was going to do when forced to move. Phinney could not tell him. Had
+      he gone to find out for himself? Was the mountain at last coming to
+      Mohammed?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      For some minutes Simeon remained where he was, thinking and surmising.
+      Then he, too, turned and walked cautiously up the Boulevard. He passed the
+      Williams mansion, its library windows ablaze. He passed the twenty-five
+      room &ldquo;cottage&rdquo; of the gentleman from Chicago. Then he halted. Opposite him
+      was the little Edwards dwelling and shop. The curtains were up and there
+      was a lamp burning on the small counter. Beside the lamp, in a rocking
+      chair, sat Olive Edwards, the widow, sewing. As he gazed she dropped the
+      sewing in her lap, and raised her head.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Phinney saw how worn and sad she looked. And yet, how young, considering
+      her forty years and all she had endured and must endure. She put her hand
+      over her eyes, then removed it wearily. A lump came in Simeon's throat. If
+      he might only help her; if SOME ONE might help her in her lonely misery.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And then, from where he stood in the shadow of the Chicago gentleman's
+      hedge, he saw a figure step from the shadows fifty feet farther on. It was
+      Captain Solomon Berry. He walked to the middle of the road and halted,
+      looking in at Olive. Phinney's heart gave a jump. Was the Captain going
+      into that house, going to HER, after all these years? WAS the mountain&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      But no. For a full minute the depot master stood, looking in at the woman
+      by the lamp. Then he jammed his hands into his pockets, wheeled, and
+      tramped rapidly off toward his home. Simeon Phinney went home, also, but
+      it was with a heavy heart that he sat down to figure the cost of moving
+      the Williams &ldquo;pure Colonial&rdquo; to its destined location.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0004" id="link2HCH0004">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER IV
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      THE MAJOR
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      The depot master and his friend, Mr. Phinney, were not the only ones whose
+      souls were troubled that evening. Obed Gott, as he stood at the foot of
+      the stairs leading to the meeting place of the &ldquo;club,&rdquo; was vexed and
+      worried. His cousin, Captain Stitt, had gone into the house and up to his
+      room, and Obed, after seeing him safely on his way, had returned to the
+      club. But, instead of entering immediately, he stood in the Higgins
+      doorway, thinking, and frowning as he thought. And the subject of his
+      thought was the idol of feminine East Harniss, the &ldquo;old-school gentleman,&rdquo;
+       Major Cuthbertson Scott Hardee.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Major first came to East Harniss one balmy morning in March&mdash;came,
+      and created an immediate sensation. &ldquo;Redny&rdquo; Blount, who drives the &ldquo;depot
+      wagon,&rdquo; was wrestling with a sample trunk belonging to the traveling
+      representative of Messrs. Braid &amp; Gimp, of Boston, when he heard a
+      voice&mdash;and such a voice&mdash;saying:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Pardon me, my dear sir, but may I trouble you for one moment?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Now &ldquo;Redny&rdquo; was not used to being addressed as &ldquo;my dear sir.&rdquo; He turned
+      wonderingly, and saw the Major, in all his glory, standing beside him.
+      &ldquo;Redny's&rdquo; gaze took in the tall, slim figure in the frock coat tightly
+      buttoned; took in the white hair, worn just long enough to touch the
+      collar of the frock coat; the long, drooping white mustache and imperial;
+      the old-fashioned stock and open collar; the black and white checked
+      trousers; the gaiters; and, last of all, the flat brimmed, carefully
+      brushed, old-fashioned silk hat. Mr. Blount gasped.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Huh?&rdquo; he said.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Pardon me, my dear sir,&rdquo; repeated the Major, blandly, smoothly, and with
+      an air of&mdash;well, not condescension, but gracious familiarity. &ldquo;Will
+      you be so extremely kind as to inform me concerning the most direct route
+      to the hotel or boarding house?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The word &ldquo;hotel&rdquo; was the only part of this speech that struck home to
+      &ldquo;Redny's&rdquo; awed mind.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hotel?&rdquo; he repeated, slowly. &ldquo;Why, yes, sir. I'm goin' right that way. If
+      you'll git right into my barge I'll fetch you there in ten minutes.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      There was enough in this reply, and the manner in which it was delivered,
+      to have furnished the station idlers, in the ordinary course of events,
+      with matter for gossip and discussion for a week. Mr. Blount had not
+      addressed a person as &ldquo;sir&rdquo; since he went to school. But no one thought of
+      this; all were too much overcome by the splendor of the Major's presence.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Thank you,&rdquo; replied the Major. &ldquo;Thank you. I am obliged to you, sir.
+      Augustus, you may place the baggage in this gentleman's conveyance.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Augustus was an elderly negro, very black as to face and a trifle shabby
+      as to clothes, but with a shadow of his master's gentility, like a
+      reflected luster, pervading his person. He bowed low, departed, and
+      returned dragging a large, old style trunk, and carrying a plump valise.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Augustus,&rdquo; said the Major, &ldquo;you may sit upon the seat with the driver.
+      That is,&rdquo; he added, courteously, &ldquo;if Mr.&mdash;Mr.&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Blount,&rdquo; prompted the gratified &ldquo;Redny.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;If Mr. Blount will be good enough to permit you to do so.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Why, sartin. Jump right up. Giddap, you!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      There was but one passenger, besides the Major and Augustus, in the &ldquo;depot
+      wagon&rdquo; that morning. This passenger was Mrs. Polena Ginn, who had been to
+      Brockton on a visit. To Mrs. Polena the Major, raising his hat in a manner
+      that no native of East Harniss could acquire by a lifetime of teaching,
+      observed that it was a beautiful morning. The flustered widow replied that
+      it &ldquo;was so.&rdquo; This was the beginning of a conversation that lasted until
+      the &ldquo;Central House&rdquo; was reached, a conversation that left Polena impressed
+      with the idea that her new acquaintance was as near the pink of perfection
+      as mortal could be.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It wa'n't his clothes, nuther,&rdquo; she told her brother, Obed Gott, as they
+      sat at the dinner table. &ldquo;I don't know what 'twas, but you could jest see
+      that he was a gentleman all over. I wouldn't wonder if he was one of them
+      New York millionaires, like Mr. Williams&mdash;but SO different. 'Redny'
+      Blount says he see his name onto the hotel register and 'twas 'Cuthbertson
+      Scott Hardee.' Ain't that a tony name for you? And his darky man called
+      him 'Major.' I never see sech manners on a livin' soul! Obed, I DO wish
+      you'd stop eatin' pie with a knife.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Under these pleasing circumstances did Major Cuthbertson Scott Hardee make
+      his first appearance in East Harniss, and the reputation spread abroad by
+      Mr. Blount and Mrs. Ginn was confirmed as other prominent citizens met
+      him, and fell under the spell. In two short weeks he was the most popular
+      and respected man in the village. The Methodist minister said, at the
+      Thursday evening sociable, that &ldquo;Major Hardee is a true type of the
+      old-school gentleman,&rdquo; whereupon Beriah Higgins, who was running for
+      selectman, and therefore felt obliged to be interested in all educational
+      matters, asked whereabouts that school was located, and who was teaching
+      it now.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      It was a treat to see the Major stroll down Main Street to the post office
+      every pleasant spring morning. Coat buttoned tight, silk hat the veriest
+      trifle on one side, one glove on and its mate carried with the cane in the
+      other hand, and the buttonhole bouquet&mdash;always the bouquet&mdash;as
+      fresh and bright and jaunty as its wearer himself.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      It seemed that every housekeeper whose dwelling happened to be situated
+      along that portion of the main road had business in the front yard at the
+      time of the Major's passing. There were steps to be swept, or rugs to be
+      shaken, or doorknobs to be polished just at that particular time.
+      Dialogues like the following interrupted the triumphal progress at three
+      minute intervals:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Good-morning, Mrs. Sogberry. GOOD-morning. A delightful morning. Busy as
+      the proverbial bee once more, I see. I can never cease to admire the
+      industry and model neatness of the Massachusetts housekeeper. And how is
+      your charming daughter this morning? Better, I trust?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, now, Major Hardee, I don't know. Abbie ain't so well's I wish she
+      was. She set up a spell yesterday, but the doctor says she ain't gittin'
+      along the way she'd ought to. I says to him, s'I, 'Abbie ain't never what
+      you'd call a reel hearty eater, but, my land! when she don't eat NOTHIN','
+      I says&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      And so on and so on, with the Major always willing to listen, always
+      sympathetic, and always so charmingly courteous.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Central House, East Harniss's sole hotel, and a very small one at
+      that, closed its doors on April 10th. Mr. Godfrey, its proprietor, had
+      come to the country for his health. He had been inveigled, by an
+      advertisement in a Boston paper, into buying the Central House at East
+      Harniss. It would afford him, so he reasoned, light employment and a
+      living. The employment was light enough, but the living was lighter. He
+      kept the Central House for a year. Then he gave it up as a bad job and
+      returned to the city. &ldquo;I might keep my health if I stayed,&rdquo; he admitted,
+      in explaining his position to Captain Berry, &ldquo;but if I want to keep to
+      what little money I have left, I'd better go. Might as well die of disease
+      as starvation.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Everyone expected that the &ldquo;gentleman of the old school&rdquo; would go also,
+      but one evening Abner Payne, whose business is &ldquo;real estate, fire and life
+      insurance, justice of the peace, and houses to let and for sale,&rdquo; rushed
+      into the post office to announce that the Major had leased the &ldquo;Gorham
+      place,&rdquo; furnished, and intended to make East Harniss his home.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He likes the village so well he's goin' to stay here always,&rdquo; explained
+      Abner. &ldquo;Says he's been all 'round the world, but he never see a place he
+      liked so well's he does East Harniss. How's that for high, hey? And you
+      callin' it a one-horse town, Obed Gott!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The Major moved into the &ldquo;Gorham place&rdquo; the next morning. It&mdash;the
+      &ldquo;place&rdquo;&mdash;was an old-fashioned house on the hill, though not on Mr.
+      Williams' &ldquo;Boulevard.&rdquo; It had been one of the finest mansions in town once
+      on a time, but had deteriorated rapidly since old Captain Elijah Gorham
+      died. Augustus carried the Major's baggage from the hotel to the house.
+      This was done very early and none of the natives saw the transfer. There
+      was some speculation as to how the darky managed to carry the big trunk
+      single-handed; one of two persons asked Augustus this very question, but
+      they received no satisfactory answer. Augustus was habitually
+      close-mouthed. Mr. Godfrey left town that same morning on the first train.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Major christened his new home &ldquo;Silver-leaf Hall,&rdquo; because of two great
+      &ldquo;silver-leaf&rdquo; trees that stood by the front door. He had some repairing,
+      paper hanging and painting done, ordered a big stock of groceries from the
+      local dealer, and showed by his every action that his stay in East Harniss
+      was to be a lengthy one. He hired a pew in the Methodist church, and
+      joined the &ldquo;club.&rdquo; Augustus did the marketing for &ldquo;Silver-leaf Hall,&rdquo; and
+      had evidently been promoted to the position of housekeeper.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Major moved in April. It was now the third week in June and his
+      popularity was, if possible, more pronounced than ever. On this
+      particular, the evening of Captain Bailey Stitt's unexpected arrival, Obed
+      had been sitting by the tea table in his dining room after supper, going
+      over the account books of his paint, paper, and oil store. His sister,
+      Mrs. Polena Ginn, was washing dishes in the kitchen.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Wat's that letter you're readin', Obed?&rdquo; she called from her post by the
+      sink.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Nothin',&rdquo; said her brother, gruffly, crumpling up the sheet of note paper
+      and jamming it into his pocket.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;My sakes! you're shorter'n pie crust to-night. What's the matter?
+      Anything gone wrong at the store?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Silence again, only broken by the clatter of dishes. Then Polena said:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Obed, when are you goin' to take me up to the clubroom so's I can see
+      that picture of Major Hardee that he presented the club with? Everybody
+      says it's just lovely. Sarah T. says it's perfectly elegant, only not
+      quite so handsome as the Major reelly is. She says it don't flatter him
+      none.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Humph! Anybody'd think Hardee was some kind of a wonder, the way you
+      women folks go on 'bout him. How do you know but what he might be a
+      reg'lar fraud? Looks ain't everything.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, I never! Obed Gott, I should think you'd be 'shamed of yourself,
+      talkin' that way. I shan't speak another word to you to-night. I never see
+      you act so unlikely. An old fraud! The idea! That grand, noble man!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Obed tried to make some sort of half-hearted apology, but his sister
+      wouldn't listen to it. Polena's dignity was touched. She was a woman of
+      consequence in East Harniss, was Polena. Her husband had, at his death,
+      left her ten thousand dollars in her own right, and she owned bonds and
+      had money in the Wellmouth Bank. Nobody, not even her brother, was allowed
+      to talk to her in that fashion.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      To tell the truth, Obed was sorry he had offended his sister. He had been
+      throwing out hints of late as to the necessity of building an addition to
+      the paint and oil store, and had cast a longing look upon a portion of
+      Polena's ten thousand. The lady had not promised to extend the financial
+      aid, but she had gone so far as to say she would think about it. So Obed
+      regretted his insinuations against the Major's integrity.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      After a while he threw the account books upon the top of the chest of
+      drawers, put on his hat and coat and announced that he was going over to
+      the depot for a &ldquo;spell.&rdquo; Polena did not deign to reply, so, after
+      repeating the observation, he went out and slammed the door.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Now, two hours later, as he stood in the doorway of the club, he was
+      debating what he should do in a certain matter. That matter concerned
+      Major Hardee and was, therefore, an extremely delicate one. At length Mr.
+      Gott climbed the narrow stairs and entered the clubroom. It was blue with
+      tobacco smoke.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The six or eight members present hailed him absently and went on with
+      their games of checkers or &ldquo;seven-up.&rdquo; He attempted a game of checkers and
+      lost, which did not tend to make his temper any sweeter. His ill nature
+      was so apparent that Beriah Higgins, who suffered from dyspepsia and
+      consequent ill temper, finally commented upon it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What's the matter with you, Obed?&rdquo; he asked tartly. &ldquo;Too much of P'lena's
+      mince pie?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; grunted Mr. Gott shortly.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What is it, then? Ain't paint sellin' well?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sellin' well 'nough. I could sell a hundred ton of paint to-morrow,
+      more'n likely, but when it come to gittin' the money for it, that would be
+      another story. If folks would pay their bills there wouldn't be no
+      trouble.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Who's stuck you now?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I don't s'pose anybody has, but it's just as bad when they don't pay up.
+      I've got to have money to keep a-goin' with. It don't make no diff'rence
+      if it's as good a customer as Major Hardee; he ought to remember that we
+      ain't all rich like him and&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      A general movement among all the club members interrupted him. The checker
+      players left their boards and came over; the &ldquo;seven-up&rdquo; devotees dropped
+      their cards and joined the circle.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What was that you said?&rdquo; asked Higgins, uneasily. &ldquo;The Major owin' you
+      money, was it?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Oh, course I know he's all right and a fine man and all that,&rdquo; protested
+      Obed, feeling himself put on the defensive. &ldquo;But that ain't it. What's a
+      feller goin' to do when he needs the money and gets a letter like that?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He drew the crumpled sheet of note paper from his pocket, and threw it on
+      the table. Higgins picked it up and read it aloud, as follows:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      SILVERLEAF HALL, June 20th.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      MY DEAR MR. GOTT: I am in receipt of your courteous communication of
+      recent date. I make it an unvarying rule to keep little ready money here
+      in East Harniss, preferring rather to let it remain at interest in the
+      financial institutions of the cities. Another rule of mine, peculiar, I
+      dare say&mdash;even eccentric, if you like&mdash;is never to pay by check.
+      I am expecting remittances from my attorneys, however, and will then bear
+      you in mind. Again thanking you for your courtesy, and begging you to
+      extend to your sister my kindest regards, I remain, my dear sir,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Yours very respectfully,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      CUTHBERTSON SCOTT HARDEE.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      P. S.&mdash;I shall be delighted to have the pleasure of entertaining your
+      sister and yourself at dinner at the hall on any date agreeable to you.
+      Kindly let me hear from you regarding this at your earliest convenience. I
+      must insist upon this privilege, so do not disappoint me, I beg.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The reception accorded this most gentlemanly epistle was peculiar. Mr.
+      Higgins laid it upon the table and put his hand into his own pocket. So
+      did Ezra Weeks, the butcher; Caleb Small, the dry goods dealer; &ldquo;Hen&rdquo;
+       Leadbetter, the livery stable keeper; &ldquo;Bash&rdquo; Taylor, the milkman, and
+      three or four others. And, wonder of wonders, each produced a sheet of
+      note paper exactly like Obed's.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      They spread them out on the table. The dates were, of course, different,
+      and they differed in other minor particulars, but in the main they were
+      exactly alike. And each one of them ended with an invitation to dinner.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The members of the club looked at each other in amazement. Higgins was the
+      first to speak.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Godfrey mighty!&rdquo; he exclaimed. &ldquo;Say, this is funny, ain't it? It's more'n
+      funny; it's queer! By jimmy, it's more'n that&mdash;it's serious! Look
+      here, fellers; is there anybody in this crowd that the Major's paid for
+      anything any time?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      They waited. No one spoke. Then, with one impulse, every face swung about
+      and looked up to where, upon the wall, hung the life-size photograph of
+      the Major, dignified, gracious, and gilt-framed. It had been presented to
+      the club two months before by Cuthbertson Scott Hardee, himself.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ike&mdash;Ike Peters,&rdquo; said Higgins. &ldquo;Say, Ike&mdash;has he ever paid you
+      for havin' that took?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Peters, who was the town photographer, reddened, hesitated, and then
+      stammered, &ldquo;Why, no, he ain't, yet.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Humph!&rdquo; grunted Higgins. No one else said anything. One or two took out
+      pocket memorandum books and went over some figures entered therein.
+      Judging by their faces the results of these calculations were not
+      pleasing. Obed was the first to break the painful silence:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well!&rdquo; he exclaimed, sarcastically; &ldquo;ain't nobody got nothin' to say? If
+      they ain't, I have. Or, at any rate, I've got somethin' to do.&rdquo; And he
+      rose and started to put on his coat.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hi! hold on a minute, Obed, you loon!&rdquo; cried Higgins. &ldquo;Where are you
+      goin'?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I'm goin' to put my bill in Squire Baker's hands for c'lection, and I'm
+      goin' to do it tonight, too.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He was on his way to the door, but two or three ran to stop him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Don't be a fool, Obed,&rdquo; said Higgins. &ldquo;Don't go off ha'f cocked. Maybe
+      we're gittin' scared about nothin'. We don't know but we'll get every cent
+      that's owed us.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Don't KNOW! Well, I ain't goin' to wait to find out. What makes me
+      b'ilin' is to think how we've set still and let a man that we never saw
+      afore last March, and don't know one blessed thing about, run up bills and
+      RUN 'em up. How we come to be such everlastin' fools I don't see! What did
+      we let him have the stuff for? Why didn't we make him pay? I&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Now see here, Obed Gott,&rdquo; broke in Weeks, the butcher, &ldquo;you know why just
+      as well as we do. Why, blast it!&rdquo; he added earnestly, &ldquo;if he was to come
+      into my shop to-morrow and tip that old high hat of his, and smile and say
+      'twas a fine mornin and 'How's the good lady to-day?' and all that, he'd
+      get ha'f the meat there was in the place, and I wouldn't say 'Boo'! I jest
+      couldn't, that's all.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      This frank statement was received with approving nods and a chorus of
+      muttered &ldquo;That's so's.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It looks to me this way,&rdquo; declared Higgins. &ldquo;If the Major's all right,
+      he's a mighty good customer for all of us. If he ain't all right, we've
+      got to find it out, but we're in too deep to run resks of gettin' him mad
+      'fore we know for sure. Let's think it over for a week. Inside of that
+      time some of us'll hint to him, polite but firm, you understand, that
+      we've got to have something on account. A week from to-night we'll meet in
+      the back room of my store, talk it over and decide what to do. What do you
+      say?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Everybody but Obed agreed. He declared that he had lost money enough and
+      wasn't going to be a fool any longer. The others argued with him patiently
+      for a while and then Leadbetter, the livery stable keeper, said sharply:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;See here, Obe! You ain't the only one in this. How much does the Major
+      owe you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Pretty nigh twenty dollars.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Humph! You're lucky. He owes me over thirty, and I guess Higgins is worse
+      off than any of us. Ain't that so, Beriah?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;About seventy, even money,&rdquo; answered the grocer, shortly. &ldquo;No use, Obed,
+      we've got to hang together. Wait a week and then see. And, fellers,&rdquo; he
+      added, &ldquo;don't tell a soul about this business, 'specially the women folks.
+      There ain't a woman nor girl in this town that don't think Major Hardee's
+      an A1, gold-plated saint, and twouldn't be safe to break the spell on a
+      guess.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Obed reached home even more disgruntled than when he left it. He sat up
+      until after twelve, thinking and smoking, and when he went to bed he had a
+      brilliant idea. The next morning he wrote a letter and posted it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0005" id="link2HCH0005">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER V
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      A BABY AND A ROBBERY
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      The morning train for Boston, at that season of the year, reached East
+      Harniss at five minutes to six, an &ldquo;ungodly hour,&rdquo; according to the
+      irascible Mr. Ogden Williams, who, in company with some of his wealthy
+      friends, the summer residents, was petitioning the railroad company for a
+      change in the time-table. When Captain Sol Berry, the depot master, walked
+      briskly down Main Street the morning following Mr. Gott's eventful evening
+      at the club, the hands of the clock on the Methodist church tower
+      indicated that the time was twenty minutes to six.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy McKay was already at the depot, the doors of which were open. Captain
+      Sol entered the waiting room and unlocked the ticket rack and the little
+      safe. Issy, languidly toying with the broom on the front platform, paused
+      in his pretense of sweeping and awaited permission to go home for
+      breakfast. It came, in characteristic fashion.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;How's the salt air affectin' your appetite, Is?&rdquo; asked the Captain,
+      casually.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy, who, being intensely serious by nature, was uneasy when he suspected
+      the presence of a joke, confusedly stammered that he cal'lated his
+      appetite was all right.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Payin' for the Major's glass ain't kept you awake worryin', has it?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No-o, sir. I&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;P'r'aps you thought he was the one to 'do the worryin', hey?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I&mdash;I don't know.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, what's your folks goin' to have to eat this mornin'?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy admitted his belief that fried clams were to be the breakfast.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So? Clams? Is, did you ever read the soap advertisement about not bein' a
+      clam?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I&mdash;I don't know's I ever did. No, sir.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;All right; I only called your attention to it as a warnin', that's all.
+      When anybody eats as many clams as you do there's a fair chance of his
+      turnin' into one. Now clear out, and don't stay so long at breakfast that
+      you can't get back in time for dinner. Trot!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy trotted. The depot master seated himself by the door of the ticket
+      office and fell into a reverie. It was interrupted by the entrance of
+      Hiram Baker. Captain Hiram was an ex-fishing skipper, fifty-five years of
+      age, who, with his wife, Sophronia, and their infant son, Hiram Joash
+      Baker, lived in a small, old-fashioned house at the other end of the
+      village, near the shore. Captain Hiram, having retired from the sea, got
+      his living, such as it was, from his string of fish traps, or &ldquo;weirs.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The depot master hailed the new arrival heartily.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hello, there, Hiram!&rdquo; he cried, rising from his chair. &ldquo;Glad to see you
+      once in a while. Ain't goin' to leave us, are you? Not goin' abroad for
+      your health, or anything of that kind, hey?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Baker laughed.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; he answered. &ldquo;No further abroad than Hyannis. And I'll be back from
+      there tonight, if the Lord's willin' and the cars don't get off the track.
+      Give me a round trip ticket, will you, Sol?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The depot master retired to the office, returning with the desired ticket.
+      Captain Hiram counted out the price from a confused mass of coppers and
+      silver, emptied into his hand from a blackened leather purse, tied with a
+      string.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;How's Sophrony?&rdquo; asked the depot master. &ldquo;Pretty smart, I hope.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yup, she's smart. Has to be to keep up with the rest of the family&mdash;'specially
+      the youngest.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He chuckled. His friend laughed in sympathy.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The youngest is the most important of all, I s'pose,&rdquo; he observed. &ldquo;How
+      IS the junior partner of H. Baker and Son?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He ain't a silent partner, I'll swear to that. Honest, Sol, I b'lieve my
+      'Dusenberry' is the cutest young one outside of a show. I said so only
+      yesterday to Mr. Hilton, the minister. I did, and I meant it.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, we're all gettin' ready to celebrate his birthday. Ho, ho!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      This was a standard joke and was so recognized and honored. A baby born on
+      the Fourth of July is sure of a national celebration of his birthday. And
+      to Captain Baker and his wife, no celebration, however widespread, could
+      do justice to the importance of the occasion. When, to answer the heart
+      longings of the child-loving couple married many years, the baby came, he
+      was accepted as a special dispensation of Providence and valued
+      accordingly.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He's got a real nice voice, Hiram,&rdquo; said Sophronia, gazing proudly at the
+      prodigy, who, clutched gingerly in his father's big hands, was screaming
+      his little red face black. &ldquo;I shouldn't wonder if he grew up to sing in
+      the choir.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That's the kind of voice to make a fo'mast hand step lively!&rdquo; declared
+      Hiram. &ldquo;You'll see this boy on the quarter deck of a clipper one of these
+      days.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Naming him was a portentous proceeding and one not to be lightly gone
+      about. Sophronia, who was a Methodist by descent and early confirmation,
+      was of the opinion that the child should have a Bible name.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Captain respected his wife's wishes, but put in an ardent plea for his
+      own name, Hiram.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There's been a Hiram Baker in our family ever since Noah h'isted the
+      main-r'yal on the ark,&rdquo; he declared. &ldquo;I'd kinder like to keep the
+      procession a-goin'.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      They compromised by agreeing to make the baby's Christian name Hiram and
+      to add a middle name selected at random from the Scriptures. The big,
+      rickety family Bible was taken from the center table and opened with
+      shaking fingers by Mrs. Baker. She read aloud the first sentence that met
+      her eye: &ldquo;The son of Joash.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Joash!&rdquo; sneered her husband. &ldquo;You ain't goin' to cruelize him with that
+      name, be you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hiram Baker, do you dare to fly in the face of Scriptur'?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;All right! Have it your own way. Go to sleep now, Hiram Joash, while I
+      sing 'Storm along, John,' to you.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Little Hiram Joash punched the minister's face with his fat fist when he
+      was christened, to the great scandal of his mother and the ill-concealed
+      delight of his father.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Can't blame the child none,&rdquo; declared the Captain. &ldquo;I'd punch anybody
+      that christened a middle name like that onto me.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      But, in spite of his name, the baby grew and prospered. He fell out of his
+      crib, of course, the moment that he was able, and barked his shins over
+      the big shells by the what-not in the parlor the first time that he
+      essayed to creep. He teethed with more or less tribulation, and once upset
+      the household by an attack of the croup.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      They gave up calling him by his first name, because of the Captain's
+      invariably answering when the baby was wanted and not answering when he
+      himself was wanted. Sophronia would have liked to call him Joash, but her
+      husband wouldn't hear of it. At length the father took to calling him
+      &ldquo;Dusenberry,&rdquo; and this nickname was adopted under protest.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Hiram sang the baby to sleep every night. There were three songs
+      in the Captain's repertoire. The first was a chanty with a chorus of
+    </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+     John, storm along, storm along, John,
+     Ain't I glad my day's work's done.
+</pre>
+    <p>
+      The second was the &ldquo;Bowline Song.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+     Haul on the bowline, the 'Phrony is a-rollin',
+     Haul on the bowline! the bowline HAUL!
+</pre>
+    <p>
+      At the &ldquo;haul!&rdquo; the Captain's foot would come down with a thump. Almost the
+      first word little Hiram Joash learned was &ldquo;haul!&rdquo; He used to shout it and
+      kick his father vigorously in the vest.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      These were fair-weather songs. Captain Hiram sang them when everything was
+      going smoothly. The &ldquo;Bowline Song&rdquo; indicated that he was feeling
+      particularly jubilant. He had another that he sang when he was worried. It
+      was a lugubrious ditty, with a refrain beginning:
+    </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+     Oh, sailor boy, sailor boy, 'neath the wild billow,
+     Thy grave is yawnin' and waitin' for thee.
+</pre>
+    <p>
+      He sang this during the worst of the teething period, and, later, when the
+      junior partner wrestled with the whooping cough. You could always tell the
+      state of the baby's health by the Captain's choice of songs.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Meanwhile Dusenberry grew and prospered. He learned to walk and to talk,
+      after his own peculiar fashion, and, at the mature age of two years and
+      six months, formally shipped as first mate aboard his father's dory. His
+      duties in this responsible position were to sit in the stern, securely
+      fastened by a strap, while the Captain and his two assistants rowed out
+      over the bar to haul the nets of the deep water fish weir.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The first mate gave the orders, &ldquo;All hands on deck! 'Tand by to det ship
+      under way!&rdquo; There was no &ldquo;sogerin'&rdquo; aboard the Hiram Junior&mdash;that was
+      the dory's name&mdash;while the first officer had command.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Hiram, always ready to talk of the wonderful baby, told the depot
+      master of the youngster's latest achievement, which was to get the cover
+      off the butter firkin in the pantry and cover himself with butter from
+      head to heel.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ho, ho, ho!&rdquo; he roared, delightedly, &ldquo;when Sophrony caught him at it,
+      what do you s'pose he said? Said he was playin' he was a slice of bread
+      and was spreadin' himself. Haw! haw!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Sol laughed in sympathy.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But he didn't mean no harm by it,&rdquo; explained the proud father. &ldquo;He's got
+      the tenderest little heart in the world. When he found his ma felt bad he
+      bust out cryin' and said he'd scrape it all off again and when it come
+      prayer time he'd tell God who did it, so He'd know 'twa'n't mother that
+      wasted the nice butter. What do you think of that?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No use talkin', Hiram,&rdquo; said the depot master, &ldquo;that's the kind of boy to
+      have.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You bet you! Hello! here's the train. On time, for a wonder. See you
+      later, Sol. You take my advice, get married and have a boy of your own.
+      Nothin' like one for solid comfort.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The train was coming and they went out to meet it. The only passenger to
+      alight was Mr. Barzilla Wingate, whose arrival had been foretold by Bailey
+      Stitt the previous evening. Barzilla was part owner of a good-sized summer
+      hotel at Wellmouth Neck. He and the depot master were old friends.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      After the train had gone Wingate and Captain Sol entered the station
+      together. The Captain had insisted that his friend come home with him to
+      breakfast, instead of going to the hotel. After some persuasion Barzilla
+      agreed. So they sat down to await Issy's arrival. The depot master could
+      not leave the station until the &ldquo;assistant&rdquo; arrived.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, Barzilla,&rdquo; asked Captain Sol, &ldquo;what's the newest craze over to the
+      hotel?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The newest,&rdquo; said Wingate, with a grin, &ldquo;is automobiles.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Automobiles? Why, I thought 'twas baseball.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Baseball was last summer. We had a championship team then. Yes, sir, we
+      won out, though for a spell it looked pretty dubious. But baseball's an
+      old story. We've had football since, and now&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Wait a minute! Football? Why, now I do remember. You had a football team
+      there and&mdash;and wa'n't there somethin' queer, some sort of a&mdash;a
+      robbery, or stealin', or swindlin' connected with it? Seems's if I'd heard
+      somethin' like that.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Wingate looked his friend over, winked, and asked a question.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sol,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;you ain't forgot how to keep a secret?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The depot master smiled. &ldquo;I guess not,&rdquo; he said.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, then, I'm goin' to trust you with one. I'm goin' to tell you the
+      whole business about that robbin'. It's all mixed up with football and
+      millionaires and things&mdash;and it's a dead secret, the truth of it. So
+      when I tell you it mustn't go no further.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You see,&rdquo; he went on, &ldquo;it was late into August when Peter T. was took
+      down with the inspiration. Not that there was anything 'specially new in
+      his bein' took. He was subject to them seizures, Peter was, and every time
+      they broke out in a fresh place. The Old Home House itself was one of his
+      inspirations, so was the hirin' of college waiters, the openin' of the two
+      'Annex' cottages, the South Shore Weather Bureau, and a whole lot more.
+      Sometimes, as in the weather-bureau foolishness, the disease left him and
+      t'other two patients&mdash;meanin' me and Cap'n Jonadab&mdash;pretty weak
+      in the courage, and wasted in the pocketbook; but gen'rally they turned
+      out good, and our systems and bank accounts was more healthy than normal.
+      One of Peter T.'s inspirations was consider'ble like typhoid fever&mdash;if
+      you did get over it, you felt better for havin' had it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;This time the attack was in the shape of a 'supplementary season.' 'Twas
+      Peter's idea that shuttin' up the Old Home the fust week in September was
+      altogether too soon.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What's the use of quittin',' says he, 'while there's bait left and the
+      fish are bitin'? Why not keep her goin' through September and October? Two
+      or three ads&mdash;MY ads&mdash;in the papers, hintin' that the ducks and
+      wild geese are beginnin' to keep the boarders awake by roostin' in the
+      back yard and hollerin' at night&mdash;two or three of them, and we'll
+      have gunners here by the regiment. Other summer hotels do it, the
+      Wapatomac House and the rest, so why not us? It hurts my conscience to see
+      good money gettin' past the door 'count of the &ldquo;Not at Home&rdquo; sign hung on
+      the knob. What d'you say, partners?' says he.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, we had consider'ble to say, partic'lar Cap'n Jonadab. 'Twas too
+      risky and too expensive. Gunnin' was all right except for one thing&mdash;that
+      is, that there wa'n't none wuth mentionin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Ducks are scurser round here than Democrats in a Vermont town-meetin','
+      growled the Cap'n. 'And as for geese! How long has it been since you see a
+      goose, Barzilla?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Land knows!' says I. 'I can remember as fur back as the fust time Washy
+      Sparrow left off workin', but I can't&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Brown told us to shut up. Did we cal'late he didn't know what he was
+      talkin' about?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I can see two geese right now,' he snaps; 'but they're so old and
+      leather-headed you couldn't shoot an idea into their brains with a cannon.
+      Gunnin' ain't the whole thing. My makin' a noise like a duck is only to
+      get the would-be Teddy Roosevelts headed for this neck of the woods. After
+      they get here, it's up to us to keep 'em. And I can think of as many ways
+      to do that as the Cap'n can of savin' a quarter. Our baseball team's been
+      a success, ain't it? Sure thing! Then why not a football team? Parker says
+      he'll get it together, and coach and cap'n it, too. And Robinson and his
+      daughter have agreed to stay till October fifteenth. So there's a start,
+      anyhow.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas a start, and a pretty good one. The Robinsons had come to the Old
+      Home about the fust of August, and they was our star boarders. 'G. W.
+      Robinson' was the old man's name as entered on the hotel log, and his
+      daughter answered to the hail of 'Grace'&mdash;that is, when she took a
+      notion to answer at all. The Robinsons was what Peter T. called
+      'exclusive.' They didn't mix much with the rest of the bunch, but kept to
+      themselves in their rooms, partic'lar when a fresh net full of boarders
+      was hauled aboard. Then they seemed to take an observation of every
+      arrival afore they mingled; questioned the pedigree and statistics of all
+      hands, and acted mighty suspicious.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The only thing that really stirred Papa Robinson up and got him excited
+      and friendly was baseball and boat racin'. He was an old sport, that was
+      plain, the only real plain thing about him; the rest was mystery. As for
+      Grace, she wa'n't plain by a good sight, bein' what Brown called a
+      'peach.' She could have had every single male in tow if she'd wanted 'em.
+      Apparently she didn't want em, preferrin' to be lonesome and sad and
+      interestin'. Yes, sir, there was a mystery about them Robinsons, and even
+      Peter T. give in to that.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'If 'twas anybody else,' says he, 'I'd say the old man was a crook, down
+      here hidin' from the police. But he's too rich for that, and always has
+      been. He ain't any fly-by-night. I can tell the real article without
+      lookin' for the &ldquo;sterlin'&rdquo; mark on the handle. But I'll bet all the
+      cold-storage eggs in the hotel against the henyard&mdash;and that's big
+      odds&mdash;that he wa'n't christened Robinson. And his face is familiar to
+      me. I've seen it somewhere, either in print or in person. I wish I knew
+      where.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So if the Robinsons had agreed to stay&mdash;them and their two servants&mdash;that
+      was a big help, as Brown said. And Parker would help, too, though we
+      agreed there wa'n't no mystery about him. He was a big, broad-shouldered
+      young feller just out of college somewheres, who had drifted our way the
+      fortni't after the Robinsons came, with a reputation for athletics and a
+      leanin' toward cigarettes and Miss Grace. She leaned a little, too, but
+      hers wa'n't so much of a bend as his was. He was dead gone on her, and if
+      she'd have decided to stay under water, he'd have ducked likewise. 'Twas
+      easy enough to see why HE believed in a 'supplementary season.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Me and Jonadab argued it out with Peter, and finally we met halfway, so's
+      to speak. We wouldn't keep the whole shebang open, but we'd shut up
+      everything but one Annex cottage, and advertise that as a Gunner's
+      Retreat. So we done it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And it worked. Heavens to Betsy&mdash;yes! It worked so well that by the
+      second week in September we had to open t'other Annex. The gunnin' was
+      bad, but Peter's ads fetched the would-be's, and his 'excursions' and
+      picnics and the football team held 'em. The football team especial. Parker
+      cap'ned that, and, from the gunnin' crew and the waiters and some
+      fishermen in the village, he dug up an eleven that showed symptoms of
+      playin' the game. We played the Trumet High School, and beat it, thanks to
+      Parker, and that tickled Pa Robinson so that he bought a two-handled
+      silver soup tureen&mdash;'lovin' cup,' he called it&mdash;and agreed to
+      give it to the team round about that won the most of the series. So the
+      series was arranged, the Old Home House crowd and the Wapatomac House
+      eleven and three high-school gangs bein' in it. And 'twas practice,
+      practice, practice, from then on.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;When we opened the second Annex, the question of help got serious. Most
+      of our college waiters had gone back to school, and we was pretty shy of
+      servants. So we put some extry advertisin' in the Cape weeklies, and
+      trusted in Providence.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The evenin' followin' the ad in the weeklies, I was settin' smokin' on
+      the back piazza of the shut-up main hotel, when I heard the gate click and
+      somebody crunchin' along the clam-shell path. I sung out: 'Ahoy, there!'
+      and the cruncher, whoever he was, come my way. Then I made out that he was
+      a tall young chap, with his hands in his pockets.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Good evenin',' says he. 'Is this Mr. Brown?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Thankin' you for the compliment, it ain't,' I says. 'My name's Wingate.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh!' says he. 'Is that so? I've heard father speak of you, Mr. Wingate.
+      He is Solomon Bearse, of West Ostable. I think you know him slightly.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Know him? Everybody on the Cape knows Sol Bearse; by reputation, anyhow.
+      He's the richest, meanest old cranberry grower and coastin'-fleet owner in
+      these parts.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Is Sol Bearse your dad?' I asks, astonished. 'Why, then, you must be
+      Gus?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No,' he says. 'I'm the other one&mdash;Fred.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, the college one. The one who's goin' to be a lawyer.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Well, yes&mdash;and no,' says he. 'I WAS the college one, as you call
+      it, but I'm not goin' to be a lawyer. Father and I have had some talk on
+      that subject, and I think we've settled it. I&mdash;well, just at present,
+      I'm not sure what I'm goin' to be. That's what I've come to you for. I saw
+      your ad in the Item, and&mdash;I want a job.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I was set all aback, and left with my canvas flappin', as you might say.
+      Sol Bearse's boy huntin' a job in a hotel kitchen! Soon's I could fetch a
+      whole breath, I wanted partic'lars. He give 'em to me.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Seems he'd been sent out to one of the colleges in the Middle West by his
+      dad, who was dead set on havin' a lawyer in the family. But the more he
+      studied, the less he hankered for law. What he wanted to be was a
+      literature&mdash;a book-agent or a poet, or some such foolishness. Old
+      Sol, havin' no more use for a poet than he had for a poor relation, was
+      red hot in a minute. Was this what he'd been droppin' good money in the
+      education collection box for? Was this&mdash;etcetery and so on. He'd be&mdash;what
+      the church folks say he will be&mdash;if Fred don't go in for law. Fred,
+      he comes back that he'll be the same if he does. So they disowned each
+      other by mutual consent, as the Irishman said, and the boy marches out of
+      the front door, bag and baggage. And, as the poetry market seemed to be
+      sort of overly supplied at the present time, he decided he must do
+      somethin' to earn a dollar, and, seein' our ad, he comes to Wellmouth Port
+      and the Old Home.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But look here,' says I, 'we ain't got no job for a literary. We need
+      fellers to pass pie and wash dishes. And THAT ain't no poem.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, he thought perhaps he could help make up advertisin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You can't,' I told him. 'One time, when Peter T. Brown was away, me and
+      Cap'n Jonadab cal'lated that a poetry advertisement would be a good idee
+      and we managed to shake out ten lines or so. It begun:
+    </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+     &ldquo;When you're feelin' tired and pale
+     To the Old Home House you ought to come without fail.&rdquo;
+ </pre>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'We thought 'twas pretty slick, but we never got but one answer, and that
+      was a circular from one of them correspondence schools of authors, sayin'
+      they'd let us in on a course at cut rates. And the next thing we knew we
+      see that poem in the joke page of a Boston paper. I never&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He laughed, quiet and sorrowful. He had the quietest way of speakin',
+      anyhow, and his voice was a lovely tenor. To hear it purrin' out of his
+      big, tall body was as unexpected as a hymn tune in a cent-in-the-slot
+      talkin' machine.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Too bad,' he says. 'As a waiter, I'm afraid&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Just then the door of one of the Annex houses opened sudden, and there
+      stood Grace Robinson. The light behind her showed her up plain as could
+      be. I heard Fred Bearse make a kind of gaspin' noise in his throat.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What a lovely night!' she says, half to herself. Then she calls: 'Papa,
+      dear, you really ought to see the stars.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Old man Robinson, who I judged was in the settin' room, snarled out
+      somethin' which wa'n't no compliment to the stars. Then he ordered her to
+      come in afore she catched cold. She sighed and obeyed orders, shuttin' the
+      door astern of her. Next thing I knew that literary tenor grabbed my arm&mdash;'twa'n't
+      no canary-bird grip, neither.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Who was that?' he whispers, eager.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I told him. 'That's the name they give,' says I, 'but we have doubts
+      about its bein' the real one. You see, there's some mystery about them
+      Robinsons, and&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I'll take that waiter's place,' he says, quick. 'Shall I go right in and
+      begin now? Don't stop to argue, man; I say I'll take it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And he did take it by main strength, pretty nigh. Every time I'd open my
+      mouth he'd shut it up, and at last I give in, and showed him where he
+      could sleep.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You turn out at five sharp,' I told him. 'And you needn't bother to
+      write no poems while you're dressin', neither.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Good night,' he answers, brisk. 'Go, will you, please? I want to think.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I went. 'Tain't until an hour later that I remembered he hadn't asked one
+      word concernin' the wages. And next mornin' he comes to me and suggests
+      that perhaps 'twould be as well if I didn't tell his real name. He was
+      pretty sure he'd been away schoolin' so long that he wouldn't be
+      recognized. 'And incognitos seem to be fashionable here,' he purrs, soft
+      and gentle.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I wouldn't know an incognito if I stepped on one, but the tenor voice of
+      him kind of made me sick.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'All right,' I snaps, sarcastic. 'Suppose I call you &ldquo;Willie.&rdquo; How'll
+      that do?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Do as well as anything, I guess,' he says. Didn't make no odds to him.
+      If I'd have called him 'Maud,' he'd have been satisfied.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He waited in Annex Number Two, which was skippered by Cap'n Jonadab. And,
+      for a poet, he done pretty well, so the Cap'n said.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But say, Barzilla,' asks Jonadab, 'does that Willie thing know the
+      Robinsons?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Guess not,' I says. But, thinkin' of the way he'd acted when the girl
+      come to the door: 'Why?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, nothin' much. Only when he come in with the doughnuts the fust
+      mornin' at breakfast, I thought Grace sort of jumped and looked funny.
+      Anyhow, she didn't eat nothin' after that. P'r'aps that was on account of
+      her bein' out sailin' the day afore, though.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I said I cal'lated that was it, but all the same I was interested. And
+      when, a day or so later, I see Grace and Willie talkin' together earnest,
+      out back of the kitchen, I was more so. But I never said nothin'. I've
+      been seafarin' long enough to know when to keep my main hatch closed.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The supplementary season dragged along, but it wa'n't quite the success
+      it looked like at the start. The gunnin' that year was even worse than
+      usual, and excursions and picnics in late September ain't all joy, by no
+      manner of means. We shut up the second Annex at the end of the month, and
+      transferred the help to Number One. Precious few new boarders come, and a
+      good many of the old ones quit. Them that did stay, stayed on account of
+      the football. We was edgin' up toward the end of the series, and our team
+      and the Wapatomac crowd was neck and neck. It looked as if the final game
+      between them and us, over on their grounds, would settle who'd have the
+      soup tureen.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Pa Robinson and Parker had been quite interested in Willie when he fust
+      come. They thought he might play with the eleven, you see. But he
+      wouldn't. Set his foot right down.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I don't care for athletics,' he says, mild but firm. 'They used to
+      interest me somewhat, but not now.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The old man was crazy. He'd heard about Willie's literature leanin's, and
+      he give out that he'd never see a writer yet that wa'n't a 'sissy.' Wanted
+      us to fire Bearse right off, but we kept him, thanks to me. If he'd seen
+      the 'sissy' kick the ball once, same as I did, it might have changed his
+      mind some. He was passin' along the end of the field when the gang was
+      practicin', and the ball come his way. He caught it on the fly, and sent
+      it back with his toe. It went a mile, seemed so, whirlin' and whizzin'.
+      Willie never even looked to see where it went; just kept on his course for
+      the kitchen.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The big sensation hit us on the fifth of October, right after supper. Me
+      and Peter T. and Jonadab was in the office, when down comes Henry, old
+      Robinson's man servant, white as a sheet and wringin' his hands
+      distracted.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, I say, Mr. Brown!' says he, shakin' all over like a quicksand. 'Oh,
+      Mr. Brown, sir! Will you come right up to Mr. Sterz&mdash;I mean Mr.
+      Robinson's room, please, sir! 'E wants to see you gentlemen special.
+      'Urry, please! 'Urry!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So we ''urried,' wonderin' what on earth was the matter. And when we got
+      to the Robinson rooms, there was Grace, lookin' awful pale, and the old
+      man himself ragin' up and down like a horse mack'rel in a fish weir.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Soon as papa sees us, he jumped up in the air, so's to speak, and when he
+      lit 'twas right on our necks. His daughter, who seemed to be the sanest
+      one in the lot, run and shut the door.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Look here, you!' raved the old gent, shakin' both fists under Peter T.'s
+      nose. 'Didn't you tell me this was a respectable hotel? And ain't we
+      payin' for respectability?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Peter admitted it, bein' too much set back to argue, I cal'late.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes!' rages Robinson. 'We pay enough for all the respectability in this
+      state. And yet, by the livin' Moses! I can't go out of my room to spoil my
+      digestion with your cussed dried-apple pie, but what I'm robbed!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Robbed!' the three of us gurgles in chorus.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes, sir! Robbed! Robbed! ROBBED! What do you think I came here for? And
+      why do I stay here all this time? 'Cause I LIKE it? 'Cause I can't afford
+      a better place? No, sir! By the great horn spoon! I come here because I
+      thought in this forsaken hole I could get lost and be safe. And now&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He tore around like a water spout, Grace trying to calm him, and Henry
+      and Suzette, the maid, groanin' and sobbin' accompaniments in the corner.
+      I looked at the dresser. There was silver-backed brushes and all sorts of
+      expensive doodads spread out loose, and Miss Robinson's watch and a
+      di'mond ring, and a few other knickknacks. I couldn't imagine a thief's
+      leavin' all that truck, and I said so.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Them?' sputters Pa, frantic. 'What the brimstone blazes do you think I
+      care for them? I could buy that sort of stuff by the car-load, if I wanted
+      to. But what's been stole is&mdash;Oh, get out and leave me alone! You're
+      no good, the lot of you!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Father has had a valuable paper stolen from him,' explains Grace. 'A
+      very valuable paper.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Valuable!' howls her dad. 'VALUABLE! Why, if Gordon and his gang get
+      that paper, they've got ME, that's all. Their suit's as good as won, and I
+      know it. And to think that I've kept it safe up to within a month of the
+      trial, and now&mdash;Grace Sterzer, you stop pattin' my head. I'm no
+      pussy-cat! By the&mdash;' And so on, indefinite.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;When he called his daughter Sterzer, instead of Robinson, I cal'lated he
+      was loony, sure enough. But Peter T. slapped his leg.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh!' he says, as if he'd seen a light all to once. 'Ah, NOW I begin to
+      get wise. I knew your face was&mdash;See here, Mr. Sterzer&mdash;Mr.
+      Gabriel Sterzer&mdash;don't you think we'd better have a real, plain talk
+      on this matter? Let's get down to tacks. Was the paper you lost something
+      to do with the Sterzer-Gordon lawsuit? The Aluminum Trust case, you know?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The old man stopped dancin', stared at him hard, and then set down and
+      wiped his forehead.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Something to DO with it?' he groans. 'Why, you idiot, it was IT! If
+      Gordon's lawyers get that paper&mdash;and they've been after it for a year&mdash;then
+      the fat's all in the fire. There's nothin' left for me to do but
+      compromise.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;When Peter T. mentioned the name of Gabriel Sterzer, me and Jonadab begun
+      to see a light, too. 'Course you remember the bust-up of the Aluminum
+      Trust&mdash;everybody does. The papers was full of it. There'd been a row
+      among the two leadin' stockholders, Gabe Sterzer and 'Major' Gordon. Them
+      two double-back-action millionaires practically owned the trust, and the
+      state 'twas in, and the politics of that state, and all the politicians.
+      Each of 'em run three or four banks of their own, and a couple of
+      newspapers, and other things, till you couldn't rest. Then they had the
+      row, and Gabe had took his playthings and gone home, as you might say.
+      Among the playthings was a majority of the stock, and the Major had sued
+      for it. The suit, with pictures of the leadin' characters and the lawyers
+      and all, had been spread-eagled in the papers everywheres. No wonder
+      'Robinson's' face was familiar.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But it seemed that Sterzer had held the trump card in the shape of the
+      original agreement between him and Gordon. And he hung on to it like the
+      Old Scratch to a fiddler. Gordon and his crowd had done everything, short
+      of murder, to get it; hired folks to steal it, and so on, because, once
+      they DID get it, Gabe hadn't a leg to stand on&mdash;he'd have to divide
+      equal, which wa'n't his desires, by a good sight. The Sterzer lawyers had
+      wanted him to leave it in their charge, but no&mdash;he knew too much for
+      that. The pig-headed old fool had carted it with him wherever he went, and
+      him and his daughter had come to the Old Home House because he figgered
+      nobody would think of their bein' in such an out-of-the-way place as that.
+      But they HAD thought of it. Anyhow, the paper was gone.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But Mr. Robinzer&mdash;Sterson, I mean&mdash;' cut in Cap'n Jonadab,
+      'you could have 'em took up for stealin', couldn't you? They wouldn't dare&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;''Course they'd dare! S'pose they don't know I wouldn't have that
+      agreement get in the papers? Dare! They'd dare anything. If they get away
+      with it, by hook or crook, all I can do is haul in my horns and
+      compromise. If they've got that paper, the suit never comes to trial.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Well, they ain't got it yet,' says Peter, decided. 'Whoever stole the
+      thing is right here in this boardin'-house, and it's up to us to see that
+      they stay here. Barzilla, you take care of the mail. No letters must go
+      out to-night. Jonadab, you set up and watch all hands, help and all.
+      Nobody must leave this place, if we have to tie em. And I'll keep a
+      gen'ral overseein' of the whole thing, till we get a detective. And&mdash;if
+      you'll stand the waybill, Mr. Sterzer&mdash;we'll have the best Pinkerton
+      in Boston down here in three hours by special train. By the way, are you
+      sure the thing IS lifted? Where was it?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Old Gabe kind of colored up, and give in that 'twas under his pillow. He
+      always kept it there after the beds was made.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Humph!' grunts Brown. 'Why didn't you hang it on the door-knob? Under
+      the pillow! If I was a sneak thief, the first place I'd look would be
+      under the pillow; after that I'd tackle the jewelry box and the safe.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There was consider'ble more talk. Seems the Sterzers had left Henry on
+      guard, same as they always done, when they went to supper. They could
+      trust him and Suzette absolute, they said. But Henry had gone down the
+      hall after a drink of water, and when he had got back everything
+      apparently was all right. 'Twa'n't till Gabe himself come up that he found
+      the paper gone. I judged he'd made it interestin' for Henry; the poor
+      critter looked that way.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;All hands agreed to keep mum for the present and to watch. Peter hustled
+      to the office and called up the Pinkertons over the long distance.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Wingate paused. Captain Sol was impatient.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Go on,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Don't stop now, I'm gettin' anxious.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Barzilla rose to his feet. &ldquo;Here's your McKay man back again,&rdquo; he said.
+      &ldquo;Let's go up to your house and have breakfast. We can talk while we're
+      eatin'. I'm empty as a poorhouse boarder's pocketbook.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0006" id="link2HCH0006">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER VI
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      AVIATION AND AVARICE
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Breakfast at Capt. Sol Berry's was a bountiful meal. The depot master
+      employed a middle-aged woman who came in each day, cooked his meals and
+      did the housework, returning to her own home at night. After Mr. Wingate
+      had mowed a clean swath through ham and eggs, cornbread and coffee, and
+      had reached the cooky and doughnut stage, he condescended to speak further
+      concerning the stolen paper.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;Brown give me and Jonadab a serious talkin' to when he
+      got us alone.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Now, fellers,' he says, 'we know what we've got to do. Nothin'll be too
+      good for this shebang and us if we get that agreement back. Fust place,
+      the thing was done a few minutes after the supper-bell rung. That is,
+      unless that 'Enry is in on the deal, which ain't unlikely, considerin' the
+      price he could get from the Gordon gang. Was anybody late at the tables?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Why, yes; there were quite a few late. Two of the 'gunners,' who'd been
+      on a forlorn-hope duck hunt; and a minister and his wife, out walkin' for
+      their health; and Parker and two fellers from the football team, who'd
+      been practicin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Any of the waiters or the chambermaids?' asked Peter.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I'd been expectin' he'd ask that, and I hated to answer.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'One of the waiters was a little late,' says I. 'Willie wa'n't on hand
+      immediate. Said he went to wash his hands.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Now the help gen'rally washed in the fo'castle&mdash;the servants'
+      quarters, I mean&mdash;but there was a wash room on the floor where the
+      Sterzer-Robinsons roomed. Peter looked at Jonadab, and the two of 'em at
+      me. And I had to own up that Willie had come downstairs from that wash
+      room a few minutes after the bell rung.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hum!' says Peter T. 'Hum!' he says. 'Look here, Barzilla, didn't you
+      tell me you knew that feller's real name, and that he had been studying
+      law?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No,' says I, emphatic. 'I said 'twas law he was tryin' to get away from.
+      His tastes run large to literation and poetry.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hum!' says Peter again. 'All papers are more or less literary&mdash;even
+      trust agreements. Hum!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'All the same,' says I, 'I'll bet my Sunday beaver that HE never took
+      it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;They didn't answer, but looked solemn. Then the three of us went on
+      watch.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Nobody made a move to go out that evenin'. I kept whatever mail was
+      handed in, but there was nothin' that looked like any agreements, and
+      nothin' addressed to Gordon or his lawyers. At twelve or so, the detective
+      come. Peter drove up to the depot to meet the special. He told the whole
+      yarn on the way down.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The detective was a nice enough chap, and we agreed he should be 'Mr.
+      Snow,' of New York, gunnin' for health and ducks. He said the watch must
+      be kept up all night, and in the mornin' he'd make his fust move. So said,
+      so done.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And afore breakfast that next mornin' we called everybody into the dinin'
+      room, boarders, help, stable hands, every last one. And Peter made a
+      little speech. He said that a very valuable paper had been taken out of
+      Mr. Robinson's room, and 'twas plain that it must be on the premises
+      somewhere. 'Course, nobody was suspicioned, but, speakin' for himself,
+      he'd feel better if his clothes and his room was searched through. How'd
+      the rest feel about it?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, they felt diff'rent ways, but Parker spoke up like a brick, and
+      said he wouldn't rest easy till HIS belongin's was pawed over, and then
+      the rest fell in line. We went through everybody and every room on the
+      place. Found nothin', of course. Snow&mdash;the detective&mdash;said he
+      didn't expect to. But I tell you there was some talkin' goin' on, just the
+      same. The minister, he hinted that he had some doubts about them
+      dissipated gunners; and the gunners cal'lated they never see a parson yet
+      wouldn't bear watchin'. As for me, I felt like a pickpocket, and, judgin'
+      from Jonadab's face, he felt the same.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The detective man swooped around quiet, bobbin' up in unexpected places,
+      like a porpoise, and askin' questions once in a while. He asked about most
+      everybody, but about Willie, especial. I judged Peter T. had dropped a
+      hint to him and to Gabe. Anyhow, the old critter give out that he wouldn't
+      trust a poet with the silver handles on his grandmarm's coffin. As for
+      Grace, she acted dreadful nervous and worried. Once I caught her swabbin'
+      her eyes, as if she'd been cryin'; but I'd never seen her and Willie
+      together but the one time I told you of.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Four days and nights crawled by. No symptoms yet. The Pinkertons was
+      watchin' the Gordon lawyers' office in New York, and they reported that
+      nothin' like that agreement had reached there. And our own man&mdash;Snow&mdash;said
+      he'd go bail it hadn't been smuggled off the premises sense HE struck
+      port. So 'twas safe so far; but where was it, and who had it?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The final football game, the one with Wapatomac, was to be played over on
+      their grounds on the afternoon of the fifth day. Parker, cap'n of the
+      eleven, give out that, considerin' everything, he didn't know but we'd
+      better call it off. Old Robinson&mdash;Sterzer, of course&mdash;wouldn't
+      hear of it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Not much,' says he. 'I wouldn't chance your losin' that game for forty
+      papers. You sail in and lick 'em!' or words to that effect.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So the eleven was to cruise across the bay in the Greased Lightnin',
+      Peter's little motor launch, and the rooters was to go by train later on.
+      'Twas Parker's idee, goin' in the launch. 'Twould be more quiet, less
+      strain on the nerves of his men, and they could talk over plays and
+      signals on the v'yage.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So at nine o'clock in the forenoon they was ready, the whole team&mdash;three
+      waiters, two fishermen, one carpenter from up to Wellmouth Center, a
+      stable hand, and Parker and three reg'lar boarders. These last three was
+      friends of Parker's that he'd had come down some time afore. He knew they
+      could play football, he said, and they'd come to oblige him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The eleven gathered on the front porch, all in togs and sweaters,
+      principally provided and paid for by Sterzer. Cap'n Parker had the ball
+      under his arm, and the launch was waitin' ready at the landin'. All the
+      boarders&mdash;except Grace, who was upstairs in her room&mdash;and most
+      of the help was standin' round to say good luck and good-by.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Snow, the detective, was there, and I whispered in his ear.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Say,' I says, 'do you realize that for the fust time since the robbery
+      here's a lot of folks leavin' the house? How do you know but what&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He winked and nodded brisk. 'I'll attend to that,' he says.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But he didn't have to. Parker spoke fust, and took the wind out of his
+      sails.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Gentlemen,' says he, 'I don't know how the rest of you feel, but, as for
+      me, I don't start without clear skirts. I suggest that Mr. Brown and Mr.
+      Wingate here search each one of us, thoroughly. Who knows,' says he,
+      laughin', 'but what I've got that precious stolen paper tucked inside my
+      sweater? Ha! ha! Come on, fellers! I'll be first.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He tossed the ball into a chair and marched into the office, the rest of
+      the players after him, takin' it as a big joke. And there the searchin'
+      was done, and done thorough, 'cause Peter asked Mr. Snow to help, and he
+      knew how. One thing was sure; Pa Gabe's agreement wa'n't hid about the
+      persons of that football team. Everybody laughed&mdash;that is, all but
+      the old man and the detective. Seemed to me that Snow was kind of
+      disappointed, and I couldn't see why. 'Twa'n't likely any of THEM was
+      thieves.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Cap'n Parker picked up his football and started off for the launch. He'd
+      got about ha'fway to the shore when Willie&mdash;who'd been stand-in' with
+      the rest of the help, lookin' on&mdash;stepped for'ard pretty brisk and
+      whispered in the ear of the Pinkerton man. The detective jumped, sort of,
+      and looked surprised and mighty interested.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'By George!' says he. 'I never thought of that.' Then he run to the edge
+      of the piazza and called.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Mr. Parker!' he sings out. 'Oh, Mr. Parker!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Parker was at the top of the little rise that slopes away down to the
+      landin'. The rest of the eleven was scattered from the shore to the hotel
+      steps. He turns, without stoppin', and answers.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What is it?' he sings out, kind of impatient.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'There's just one thing we forgot to look at,' shouts Snow. 'Merely a
+      matter of form, but just bring that&mdash;Hey! Stop him! Stop him!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;For Parker, instead of comin' back, had turned and was leggin' it for the
+      launch as fast as he could, and that was some.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Stop!' roars the Pinkerton man, jumpin' down the steps. 'Stop, or&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hold him, Jim!' screeched Parker, over his shoulder. One of the biggest
+      men on the eleven&mdash;one of the three 'friends' who'd been so obligin'
+      as to come down on purpose to play football&mdash;made a dive, caught the
+      detective around the waist, and threw him flat.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Go on, Ed!' he shouts. 'I've got him, all right.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ed&mdash;meanin' Parker&mdash;was goin' on, and goin' fast. All hands
+      seemed to be frozen stiff, me and Jonadab and Peter T. included. As for
+      me, I couldn't make head nor tail of the doin's; things was comin' too
+      quick for MY understandin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But there was one on that piazza who wa'n't froze. Fur from it! Willie,
+      the poet waiter, made a jump, swung his long legs over the porch-rail, hit
+      the ground, and took after that Parker man like a cat after a field mouse.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Run! I never see such runnin'! He fairly flashed across that lawn and
+      over the rise. Parker was almost to the landin'; two more jumps and he'd
+      been aboard the launch. If he'd once got aboard, a turn of the switch and
+      that electric craft would have had him out of danger in a shake. But them
+      two jumps was two too many. Willie riz off the ground like a flyin'
+      machine, turned his feet up and his head down, and lapped his arms around
+      Parker's knees. Down the pair of 'em went 'Ker-wallop!' and the football
+      flew out of Parker's arms.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;In an eyewink that poet was up, grabs the ball, and comes tearin' back
+      toward us.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Stop him!' shrieks Parker from astern.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Head him off! Tackle him!' bellers the big chap who was hangin' onto the
+      detective.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;They tell me that discipline and obeyin' orders is as much in football as
+      'tis aboard ship. If that's so, every one of the Old Home House eleven was
+      onto their jobs. There was five men between Willie and the hotel, and they
+      all bore down on him like bats on a June bug.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Get him!' howls Parker, racin' to help.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Down him!' chimes in big Jim, his knee in poor Snow's back.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Run, Bearse! Run!' whoops the Pinkerton man, liftin' his mouth out of
+      the sand.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He run&mdash;don't you worry about that! Likewise he dodged. One chap
+      swooped at him, and he ducked under his arms. Another made a dive, and he
+      jumped over him. The third one he pushed one side with his hand. 'Pushed!'
+      did I say? 'Knocked' would be better, for the feller&mdash;the carpenter
+      'twas&mdash;went over and over like a barrel rollin' down hill. But there
+      was two more left, and one of 'em was bound to have him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then a window upstairs banged open.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, Mr. Bearse!' screamed a voice&mdash;Grace Sterzer's voice. 'Don't
+      let them get you!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We all heard her, in spite of the shoutin' and racket. Willie heard her,
+      too. The two fellers, one at each side, was almost on him, when he
+      stopped, looked up, jumped back, and, as cool as a rain barrel in January,
+      he dropped that ball and kicked it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I can see that picture now, like a tableau at a church sociable. The
+      fellers that was runnin', the others on the ground, and that literary pie
+      passer with his foot swung up to his chin.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And the ball! It sailed up and up in a long curve, began to drop, passed
+      over the piazza roof, and out of sight.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Lock your door, Miss Sterzer,' sung out Fred Bearse&mdash;'Willie' for
+      short. 'Lock your door and keep that ball. I think your father's paper is
+      inside it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;As sure as my name is Barzilla Wingate, he had kicked that football
+      straight through the open window into old Gabe's room.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The depot master whooped and slapped his knee. Mr. Wingate grinned
+      delightedly and continued:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There!&rdquo; he went on, &ldquo;the cat's out of the bag, and there ain't much more
+      to tell. Everybody made a bolt for the room, old Gabe and Peter T. in the
+      lead. Grace let her dad in, and the ball was ripped open in a hurry. Sure
+      enough! Inside, between the leather and the rubber, was the missin'
+      agreement. Among the jubilations and praise services nobody thought of
+      much else until Snow, the Pinkerton man, come upstairs, his clothes tore
+      and his eyes and nose full of sand.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Humph!' says he. 'You've got it, hey? Good! Well, you haven't got friend
+      Parker. Look!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Such of us as could looked out of the window. There was the launch, with
+      Parker and his three 'friends' in it, headin' two-forty for blue water.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Let 'em go,' says old Gabe, contented. 'I wouldn't arrest 'em if I
+      could. This is no police-station job.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It come out afterwards that Parker was a young chap just from law school,
+      who had gone to work for the firm of shysters who was attendin' to the
+      Gordon interests. They had tracked Sterzer to the Old Home House, and had
+      put their new hand on the job of gettin' that agreement. Fust he'd tried
+      to shine up to Grace, but the shine&mdash;her part of it&mdash;had wore
+      off. Then he decided to steal it; and he done it, just how nobody knows.
+      Snow, the detective, says he cal'lates Henry, the servant, is wiser'n most
+      folks thinks, fur's that's concerned.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Snow had found out about Parker inside of two days. Soon's he got the
+      report as to who he was, he was morally sartin that he was the thief. He'd
+      looked up Willie's record, too, and that was clear. In fact, Willie helped
+      him consider'ble. 'Twas him that recognized Parker, havin' seen him play
+      on a law-school team. Also 'twas Willie who thought of the paper bein' in
+      the football.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Land of love! What a hero they made of that waiter!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'By the livin' Moses!' bubbles old Gabe, shakin' both the boy's hands.
+      'That was the finest run and tackle and the finest kick I ever saw
+      anywhere. I've seen every big game for ten years, and I never saw anything
+      half so good.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The Pinkerton man laughed. 'There's only one chap on earth who can kick
+      like that. Here he is,' layin' his hand on 'Willie's' shoulder. Bearse,
+      the All-American half-back last year.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Gabe's mouth fell open. 'Not &ldquo;Bung&rdquo; Bearse, of Yarvard!' he sings out.
+      'Why! WHY!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Of course, father!' purrs his daughter, smilin' and happy. 'I knew him
+      at once. He and I were&mdash;er&mdash;slightly acquainted when I was at
+      Highcliffe.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But&mdash;but &ldquo;Bung&rdquo; Bearse!' gasps the old gent. 'Why, you rascal! I
+      saw you kick the goal that beat Haleton. Your reputation is worldwide.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Willie&mdash;Fred Bearse, that is&mdash;shook his head, sad and
+      regretful.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Thank you, Mr. Sterzer,' says he, in his gentle tenor. 'I have no desire
+      to be famous in athletics. My aspirations now are entirely literary.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, he's got his literary job at last, bein' engaged as sportin' editor
+      on one of Gabe's papers. His dad, old Sol Bearse, seems to be pretty well
+      satisfied, partic'lar as another engagement between the Bearse family and
+      the Sterzers has just been given out.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Barzilla helped himself to another doughnut. His host leaned back in his
+      chair and laughed uproariously.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, by the great and mighty!&rdquo; he exclaimed, &ldquo;that Willie chap certainly
+      did fool you, didn't he. You can't always tell about these college
+      critters. Sometimes they break out unexpected, like chickenpox in the 'Old
+      Men's Home.' Ha! ha! Say, do you know Nate Scudder?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Know him? Course I know him! The meanest man on the Cape, and livin'
+      right in my own town, too! Well, if I didn't know him I might trust him,
+      and that would be the beginnin' of the end&mdash;for me.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It sartin would. But what made me think of him was what he told me about
+      his nephew, who was a college chap, consider'ble like your 'Willie,' I
+      jedge. Nate and this nephew, Augustus Tolliver, was mixed up in that
+      flyin'-machine business, you remember.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I know they was. Mixed up with that Professor Dixland the papers are
+      makin' such a fuss over. Wellmouth's been crazy over it all, but it
+      happened a year ago and nobody that I know of has got the straight inside
+      facts about it yet. Nate won't talk at all. Whenever you ask him he busts
+      out swearin' and walks off. His wife's got such a temper that nobody dared
+      ask her, except the minister. He tried it, and ain't been the same man
+      since.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; the depot master smilingly scratched his chin, &ldquo;I cal'late I've
+      got those inside facts.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You HAVE?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes. Nate gave 'em to me, under protest. You see, I know Nate pretty
+      well. I know some things about him that . . . but never mind that part. I
+      asked him and, at last, he told me. I'll have to tell you in his words,
+      'cause half the fun was the way he told it and the way he looked at the
+      whole business. So you can imagine I'm Nate, and&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twill be a big strain on my imagination to b'lieve you're Nate Scudder,
+      Sol Berry.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Thanks. However, you'll have to do it for a spell. Well, Nate said that
+      it really begun when the Professor and Olivia landed at the Wellmouth
+      depot with the freight car full of junk. Of course, the actual beginnin'
+      was further back than that, when that Harmon man come on from Philadelphy
+      and hunted him up, makin' proclamation that a friend of his, a Mr. Van
+      Brunt of New York, had said that Scudder had a nice quiet island to let
+      and maybe he could hire it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Course Nate had an island&mdash;that little sun-dried sandbank a mile or
+      so off shore, abreast his house, which we used to call 'Horsefoot Bar.'
+      That crazy Van Brunt and his chum, Hartley, who lived there along with Sol
+      Pratt a year or so ago, re-christened it 'Ozone Island,' you remember.
+      Nate was willin' to let it. He'd let Tophet, if he owned it, and a fool
+      come along who wanted to hire it and could pay for the rent and heat.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So Nate and this Harmon feller rowed over to the Bar&mdash;to Ozone
+      Island, I mean&mdash;and the desolation and loneliness of it seemed to
+      suit him to perfection. So did the old house and big barn and all the
+      tumbledown buildin's stuck there in the beach-grass and sand. Afore they'd
+      left they made a dicker. He wa'n't the principal in it. He was the private
+      secretary and fust mate of Mr. Professor Ansel Hobart Dixland, the
+      scientist&mdash;perhaps Scudder'd heard of him?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Perhaps he had, but if so, Nate forgot it, though he didn't tell him
+      that. Harmon ordered a fifteen-foot-high board fence built all around the
+      house and barn, and made Nate swear not to tell a soul who was comin' nor
+      anything. Dixland might want the island two months, he said, or he might
+      want it two years. Nate didn't care. He was in for good pickin's, and
+      begun to pick by slicin' a liberal commission off that fencebuildin' job.
+      There was a whole passel of letters back and forth between Nate and
+      Harmon, and finally Nate got word to meet the victims at the depot.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There was the professor himself, an old dried-up relic with whiskers and
+      a temper; and there was Miss Olivia Dixland, his niece and housekeeper, a
+      slim, plain lookin' girl, who wore eyeglasses and a straight up and down
+      dress. And there was a freight car full of crates and boxes and land knows
+      what all. But nary sign was there of a private secretary and assistant.
+      The professor told Nate that Mr. Harmon's health had suddenly broke down
+      and he'd had to be sent South.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'It's a calamity,' says he; 'a real calamity! Harmon has been with me in
+      my work from the beginnin'; and now, just as it is approachin' completion,
+      he is taken away. They say he may die. It is very annoyin'.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Humph!' says Nate. 'Well, maybe it annoys HIM some, too; you can't tell.
+      What you goin' to do for a secretary?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I understand,' says the professor, 'that there is a person of
+      consider'ble scientific attainment residin' with you, Mr. Scudder, at
+      present. Harmon met him while he was here; they were in the same class at
+      college. Harmon recommended him highly. Olivia,' he says to the niece,
+      'what was the name of the young man whom Harmon recommended?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Tolliver, Uncle Ansel,' answers the girl, lookin' kind of disdainful at
+      Nate. Somehow he had the notion that she didn't take to him fust rate.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hey?' sings out Nate. 'Tolliver? Why, that's Augustus! AUGUSTUS! well,
+      I'll be switched!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Augustus Tolliver was Nate's nephew from up Boston way. Him and Nate was
+      livin' together at that time. Huldy Ann, Mrs. Scudder, was out West, in
+      Omaha, takin' care of a cousin of hers who was a chronic invalid and,
+      what's more to the purpose, owned a lot of stock in copper mines.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Augustus was a freckle-faced, spindle-shanked little critter, with
+      spectacles and a soft, polite way of speakin' that made you want to build
+      a fire under him to see if he could swear like a Christian. He had a big
+      head with consider'ble hair on the top of it and nothin' underneath but
+      what he called 'science' and 'sociology.' His science wa'n't nothin' but
+      tommy-rot to Nate, and the 'sociology' was some kind of drivel about
+      everybody bein' equal to everybody else, or better. 'Seemed to think 'twas
+      wrong to get a good price for a thing when you found a feller soft enough
+      to pay it. Did you ever hear the beat of that in your life?' says Nate.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;However, Augustus had soaked so much science and sociology into that weak
+      noddle of his that they kind of made him drunk, as you might say, and the
+      doctor had sent him down to board with the Scudders and sleep it off.
+      'Nervous prostration' was the way he had his symptoms labeled, and the
+      nerve part was all right, for if a hen flew at him he'd holler and run.
+      Scart! you never see such a scart cat in your born days. Scart of a boat,
+      scart of being seasick, scart of a gun, scart of everything! Most special
+      he was scart of Uncle Nate. The said uncle kept him that way so's he
+      wouldn't dast to kick at the grub him and Huldy Ann give him, I guess.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Augustus Tolliver,' says old Dixland, noddin'. 'Yes, that is the name.
+      Has he had a sound scientific trainin'?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Scientific trainin'!' says Nate. 'Scientific trainin'? Why, you bet he's
+      had it! That's the only kind of trainin' he HAS had. He'll be just the
+      feller for you, Mr. Dixland.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So that was settled, all but notifyin' Augustus. But Scudder sighted
+      another speculation in the offin', and hove alongside of it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Mr. Harmon, when he was here,' says he, 'he mentioned you needin' a
+      nice, dependable man to live on the island and be sort of general
+      roustabout. My wife bein' away just now, and all, it struck me that I
+      might as well be that man. Maybe my terms'll seem a little high, at fust
+      mention, but&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Very good,' says the professor, 'very good. I'm sure you'll be
+      satisfactory. Now please see to the unloading of that car. And be careful,
+      VERY careful.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Nate broke the news to Augustus that afternoon. He had his nose stuck in
+      a book, as usual, and never heard, so Nate yelled at him like a mate on a
+      tramp steamer, just to keep in trainin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Who? Who? Who? What? What?' squeals Augustus, jumpin' out of the chair
+      as if there was pins in it. 'What is it? Who did it? Oh, my poor nerves!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Drat your poor nerves!' Nate says. 'I've got a good promisin' job for
+      you. Listen to this.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then he told about the professor's wantin' Gus to be assistant and help
+      do what the old man called 'experiments.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Dixland?' says Gus, 'Ansel Hobart Dixland, the great scientist! And I'm
+      to be HIS assistant? Assistant to the man who discovered DIXIUM and
+      invented&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, belay there!' snorts Nate, impatient. Tell me this&mdash;he's awful
+      rich, ain't he?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Why, I believe&mdash;yes, Harmon said he was. But to think of MY bein'&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Now, nephew,' Nate cut in, 'let me talk to you a minute. Me and your
+      Aunt Huldy Ann have been mighty kind to you sence you've been here, and
+      here's your chance to do us a good turn. You stick close to science and
+      the professor and let me attend to the finances. If this family ain't well
+      off pretty soon it won't be your Uncle Nate's fault. Only don't you put
+      your oar in where 'tain't needed.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Lord love you, Gus didn't care about finances. He was so full of joy at
+      bein' made assistant to the great Ansel Whiskers Dixland that he forgot
+      everything else, nerves and all.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So in another day the four of 'em was landed on Ozone Island and so was
+      the freight-car load of crates and boxes. Grub and necessaries was to be
+      provided by Scudder&mdash;for salary as stated and commission understood.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It took Nate less than a week to find out what old Dixland was up to.
+      When he learned it, he set down in the sand and fairly snorted disgust.
+      The old idiot was cal'latin' to FLY. Seems that for years he'd been
+      experimentin' with what he called 'aeroplanes,' and now he'd reached the
+      stage where he b'lieved he could flap his wings and soar. 'Thinks I,' says
+      Nate, 'your life work's cut out for you, Nate Scudder. You'll spend the
+      rest of your days as gen'ral provider for the Ozone private asylum.' Well,
+      Scudder wa'n't complainin' none at the outlook. He couldn't make a good
+      livin' no easier.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The aeroplane was in sections in them boxes and crates. Nate and Augustus
+      and the professor got out the sections and fitted 'em together. The
+      buildin's on Ozone was all joined together&mdash;first the house, then the
+      ell, then the wash-rooms and big sheds, and, finally, the barn. There was
+      doors connectin', and you could go from house to barn, both downstairs and
+      up, without steppin' outside once.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas in the barn that they built what Whiskers called the 'flyin'
+      stage.' 'Twas a long chute arrangement on trestles, and the idea was that
+      the aeroplane was to get her start by slidin' down the chute, out through
+      the big doors and off by the atmosphere route to glory. I say that was the
+      IDEA. In practice she worked different.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Twice the professor made proclamations that everything was ready, and
+      twice they started that flyin' machine goin'. The fust time Dixland was at
+      the helm, and him and the aeroplane dropped headfust into the sandbank
+      just outside the barn. The machine was underneath, and the pieces of it
+      acted as a fender, so all the professor fractured was his temper. But it
+      took ten days to get the contraption ready for the next fizzle. Then poor,
+      shaky, scart Augustus was pilot, and he went so deep into the bank that
+      Nate says he wondered whether 'twas wuth while doin' anything but orderin'
+      the gravestone. But they dug him out at last, whole, but frightened blue,
+      and his nerves was worse than ever after that.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then old Dixland announces that he has discovered somethin' wrong in the
+      principle of the thing, and they had to wait while he ordered some new
+      fittin's from Boston.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Meanwhile there was other complications settin' in. Scudder was kept busy
+      providin' grub and such like and helpin' the niece, Olivia, with the
+      housework. Likewise he had his hands full keepin' the folks alongshore
+      from findin' out what was goin' on. All this flyin' foolishness had to be
+      a dead secret.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But, busy as he was, he found time to notice the thick acquaintance that
+      was developin' between Augustus and Olivia. Them two was what the minister
+      calls 'kindred sperrits.' Seems she was sufferin' from science same as he
+      was and, more'n that, she was loaded to the gunwale with 'social reform.'
+      To hear the pair of 'em go on about helpin' the poor and 'settlement work'
+      and such was enough, accordin' to Nate, to make you leave the table. But
+      there! He couldn't complain. Olivia was her uncle's only heir, and Nate
+      could see a rainbow of promise ahead for the Scudder family.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The niece was a nice, quiet girl. The only thing Nate had against her,
+      outside of the sociology craziness and her not seemin' to take a shine to
+      him, was her confounded pets. Nate said he never had no use for pets&mdash;lazy
+      critters, eatin' up the victuals and costin' money&mdash;but Olivia was
+      dead gone on 'em. She adopted an old reprobate of a tom-cat, which she
+      labeled 'Galileo,' after an Eyetalian who invented spyglasses or somethin'
+      similar, and a great big ugly dog that answered to the hail of 'Phillips
+      Brooks'; she named him that because she said the original Phillips was a
+      distinguished parson and a great philanthropist.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That dog was a healthy philanthropist. When Nate kicked him the first
+      time, he chased him the whole length of the barn. After that they had to
+      keep him chained up. He was just pinin' for a chance to swaller Scudder
+      whole, and he showed it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, as time went on, Olivia and Augustus got chummier and chummier.
+      Nate give 'em all the chance possible to be together, and as for old
+      Professor Whiskers, all he thought of, anyway, was his blessed flyin'
+      machine. So things was shapin' themselves well, 'cordin' to Scudder's
+      notion.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;One afternoon Nate come, unexpected, to the top of a sand hill at t'other
+      end of the island, and there, below, set Olivia and Augustus. He had a
+      clove hitch 'round her waist, and they was lookin' into each other's
+      spectacles as if they was windows in the pearly gates. Thinks Nate:
+      'They've signed articles,' and he tiptoed away, feelin' that life wa'n't
+      altogether an empty dream.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;They was lively hours, them that followed. To begin with, when Nate got
+      back to the barn he found the professor layin' on the floor, under the
+      flyin' stage, groanin' soulful but dismal. He'd slipped off one of the
+      braces of the trestles and sprained both wrists and bruised himself till
+      he wa'n't much more than one big lump. He hadn't bruised his tongue none
+      to speak of, though, and his language wa'n't sprained so that you'd notice
+      it. What broke him up most of all was that he'd got his aeroplane ready to
+      'fly' again, and now he was knocked out so's he couldn't be aboard when
+      she went off the ways.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'It is the irony of fate,' says he.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I got it off the blacksmith over to Wellmouth Centre,' Nate told him;
+      'but HE might have got it from Fate, or whoever you mean. 'Twas slippery
+      iron, I know that, and I warned you against steppin' on it yesterday.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The professor more'n hinted that Nate was a dunderhead idiot, and then he
+      commenced to holler for Tolliver; he wanted to see Tolliver right off.
+      Scudder thought he'd ought to see a doctor, but he wouldn't, so Nate
+      plastered him up best he could, got him into the big chair in the front
+      room, and went huntin' Augustus. Him and Olivia was still camped in the
+      sand bank. Gus's right arm had got tired by this time, I cal'late, but he
+      had a new hitch with his left. Likewise they was still starin' into each
+      other's specs.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Excuse me for interruptin' the mesmerism,' says Nate, 'but the professor
+      wants to see you.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;They jumped and broke away. But it took more'n that to bring 'em down out
+      of the clouds. They'd been flyin' a good sight higher than the old
+      aeroplane had yet.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Uncle Nathan,' says Augustus, gettin' up and shakin' hands, 'I have the
+      most wonderful news for you. It's hardly believable. You'll never guess
+      it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Give me three guesses and I'll win on the fust,' says Nate. 'You two are
+      engaged.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;They looked at him as if he'd done somethin' wonderful. 'But, Uncle,'
+      says Gus, shakin' hands again, 'just think! she's actually consented to
+      marry me.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Well, that's gen'rally understood to be a part of engagin', ain't it?'
+      says Nate. 'I'm glad to hear it. Miss Dixland, I congratulate you. You've
+      got a fine, promisin' young man.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That, to Nate's notion, was about the biggest lie he ever told, but
+      Olivia swallered it for gospel. She seemed to thaw toward Scudder a little
+      mite, but 'twa'n't at a permanent melt, by no means.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Thank you, Mr. Scudder,' says she, still pretty frosty. 'I am full aware
+      of Mr. Tolliver's merits. I'm glad to learn that YOU recognize them. He
+      has told some things concernin' his stay at your home which&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes, yes,' says Nate, kind of hurried. 'Well, I'm sorry to dump bad news
+      into a puddle of happiness like this, but your Uncle Ansel, Miss Dixland,
+      has been tryin' to fly without his machine, and he's sorry for it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then he told what had happened to the professor, and Olivia started on
+      the run for the house. Augustus was goin', too, but Nate held him back.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Wait a minute, Gus,' says he. 'Walk along with me; I want to talk with
+      you. Now, as an older man, your nighest relation, and one that's come to
+      love you like a son&mdash;yes, sir, like a son&mdash;I think it's my duty
+      just now to say a word of advice. You're goin' to marry a nice girl that's
+      comin' in for a lot of money one of these days. The professor, he's kind
+      of old, his roof leaks consider'ble, and this trouble is likely to hurry
+      the end along.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Now, then,' Nate goes on, 'Augustus, my boy, what are you and that
+      simple, childlike girl goin' to do with all that money? How are you goin'
+      to take care of it? You and 'Livia&mdash;you mustn't mind my callin' her
+      that 'cause she's goin' to be one of the family so soon&mdash;you'll want
+      to be fussin' with science and such, and you won't have no time to attend
+      to the finances. You'll need a good, safe person to be your financial
+      manager. Well, you know me and you know your Aunt Huldy Ann. WE know all
+      about financin'; WE'VE had experience. You just let us handle the bonds
+      and coupons and them trifles. We'll invest 'em for you. We'll be yours and
+      'Livia's financial managers. As for our wages, maybe they'll seem a little
+      high, but that's easy arranged. And&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Gus interrupted then. 'Oh, that's all settled,' he says. 'Olivia and I
+      have planned all that. When we're married we shall devote our lives to
+      social work&mdash;to settlement work. All the money we ever get we shall
+      use to help the poor. WE don't want any of it. We shall live AMONG the
+      poor, live just as frugally as they do. Our money we shall give&mdash;every
+      cent of it&mdash;to charity and&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Lord sakes!' yells Nate, 'DON'T talk that way! Don't! Be you crazy, too?
+      Why&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But Gus went on, talkin' a steady streak about livin' in a little
+      tenement in what he called the 'slums' and chuckin' the money to this
+      tramp and that, till Nate's head was whirlin'. 'Twa'n't no joke. He meant
+      it and so did she, and they was just the pair of loons to do it, too.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Afore Nate had a chance to think up anything sensible to say, Olivia
+      comes hollerin' for Gus to hurry. Off he went, and Nate followed along,
+      holdin' his head and staggerin' like a voter comin' home from a political
+      candidate's picnic. All he could think of was: 'THIS the end of all my
+      plannin'! What&mdash;WHAT'LL Huldy Ann say to THIS?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Nate found the professor bolstered up in his chair, with the other two
+      standin' alongside. He was layin' down the law about that blessed
+      aeroplane.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No! no! NO! I tell you!' he roars, 'I'll see no doctor. My invention is
+      ready at last, and, if I'm goin' to die, I'll die successful. Tolliver,
+      you've been a faithful worker with me, and yours shall be the privilege of
+      makin' the first flight. Wheel me to the window, Olivia, and let me see my
+      triumph.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But Olivia didn't move. Instead, she looked at Augustus and he at her.
+      'Wheel me to the window!' yells Dixland. 'Tolliver, what are you waitin' for?
+      The doors are open, the aeroplane is ready. Go this instant and fly.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Augustus was a bird all right, 'cordin' to Nate's opinion, but he didn't
+      seem anxious to spread his wings. He was white, and them nerves of his was
+      all in a twitter. If ever there was a scart critter, 'twas him then.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Go out and fly,' says Nate to him, pretty average ugly. 'Don't you hear
+      the boss's order? Here, professor, I'll push you to the window.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Thank you, Scudder,' says Dixland. And then turnin' to Gus: 'Well, sir,
+      may I ask why you wait?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas Olivia that answered. 'Uncle Ansel,' says she, 'I must tell you
+      somethin'. I should have preferred tellin' you privately,' she puts in,
+      glarin' at Nate, 'but it seems I can't. Mr. Tolliver and I are engaged to
+      be married.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Old Whiskers didn't seem to care a continental. All he had in his addled
+      head was that flyin' contraption.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'All right, all right,' he snaps, fretty, 'I'm satisfied. He appears to
+      be a decent young man enough. But now I want him to start my aeroplane.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No, Uncle Ansel,' goes on Olivia, 'I cannot permit him to risk his life
+      in that way. His nerves are not strong and neither is his heart. Besides,
+      the aeroplane has failed twice. Luckily no one was killed in the other
+      trials, but the chances are that the third time may prove fatal.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Fatal, you imbecile!' shrieks the professor. 'It's perfected, I tell
+      you! I&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'It makes no difference. No, uncle, Augustus and I have made up our
+      minds. His life and health are too precious; he must be spared for the
+      grand work that we are to do together. No, Uncle Ansel, he shall NOT fly.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Did you ever see a cat in a fit? That was the professor just then, so
+      Nate said. He tried to wave his sprained wrists and couldn't; tried to
+      stamp his foot and found it too lame. But his eyeglasses flashed sparks
+      and his tongue spit fire.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Are you goin' to start that machine?' he screams at the blue-white,
+      shaky Augustus.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No, Professor Dixland,' stammers Gus. 'No, sir, I'm sorry, but&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Why don't you ask Mr. Scudder to make the experiment, uncle?' suggests
+      that confounded niece, smilin' the spitefullest smile.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Scudder,' says the professor, 'I'll give you five thousand dollars cash
+      to start in that aeroplane this moment.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;For a jiffy Nate was staggered. Five thousand dollars CASH&mdash;whew!
+      But then he thought of how deep Gus had been shoved into that sandbank.
+      And there was a new and more powerful motor aboard the thing now. Five
+      thousand dollars ain't much good to a telescoped corpse. He fetched a long
+      breath.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Well, now, Mr. Dixland,' he says, 'I'd like to, fust rate, but you see I
+      don't know nothin' about mechanics.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Professor&mdash;' begins Augustus. 'Twas the final straw. Old Whiskers
+      jumped out of the chair, lameness and all.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Out of this house, you ingrate!' he bellers. 'Out this instant! I
+      discharge you. Go! go!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He was actually frothin' at the mouth. I cal'late Olivia thought he was
+      goin' to die, for she run to him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You'd better go, I think,' says she to her shakin' beau. 'Go, dear, now.
+      I must stay with him for the present, but we will see each other soon. Go
+      now, and trust me.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I disown you, you ungrateful girl,' foams her uncle. 'Scudder, I order
+      you to put that&mdash;that creature off this island.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes, sir,' says Nate, polite; 'in about two shakes of a heifer's tail.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He started for Augustus, and Gus started for the door. I guess Olivia
+      might have interfered, but just then the professor keels over in a kind of
+      faint and she had to tend to him. Gus darts out of the door with Nate
+      after him. Scudder reached the beach just as his nephew was shovin' off in
+      the boat, bound for the mainland.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Consarn your empty head!' Nate yelled after him. 'See what you get by
+      not mindin' me, don't you? I'm runnin' things on this island after this.
+      I'm boss here; understand? When you're ready to sign a paper deedin' over
+      ha'f that money your wife's goin' to get to me and Huldy Ann, maybe I'll
+      let you come back. And perhaps then I'll square things for you with
+      Dixland. But if you dare to set foot on these premises until then I'll
+      murder you; I'll drown you; I'll cut you up for bait; I'll feed you to the
+      dog.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He sculled off, his oars rattlin' 'Hark from the tomb' in the rowlocks.
+      He b'lieved Nate meant it all. Oh, Scudder had HIM trained all right.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0007" id="link2HCH0007">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER VII
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      CAPTAIN SOL DECIDES TO MOVE
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Trust Nate for that,&rdquo; interrupted Wingate. &ldquo;He's just as much a born
+      bully as he is a cheat and a skinflint.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yup,&rdquo; went on Captain Sol. &ldquo;Well, when Nate got back to the house the
+      professor was alone in the chair, lookin' sick and weak. Olivia was up in
+      her room havin' a cryin' fit. Nate got the old man to bed, made him some
+      clam soup and hot tea, and fetched and carried for him like he was a baby.
+      The professor's talk was mainly about the ungrateful desertion, as he
+      called it, of his assistant.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Keep him away from this island,' he says. 'If he comes, I shall commit
+      murder; I know it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Scudder promised that Augustus shouldn't come back. The professor wanted
+      guard kept night and day. Nate said he didn't know's he could afford so
+      much time, and Dixland doubled his wages on the spot. So Nate agreed to
+      stand double watches, made him comfort'ble for the night, and left him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Olivia didn't come downstairs again. She didn't seem to want any supper,
+      but Nate did and had it, a good one. Galileo, the cat, came yowlin'
+      around, and Nate kicked him under the sofy. Phillips Brooks was howlin'
+      starvation in the woodshed, and Scudder let him howl. If he starved to
+      death Nate wouldn't put no flowers on his grave. Take it altogether, he
+      was havin' a fairly good time.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And when, later on, he set alone up in his room over the kitchen, he
+      begun to have a better one. Prospects looked good. Maybe old Dixland WOULD
+      disown his niece. If he did, Nate figgered he was as healthy a candidate
+      for adoption as anybody. And Augustus would have to come to terms or stay
+      single. That is, unless him and Olivia got married on nothin' a week, paid
+      yearly. Nate guessed Huldy Ann would think he'd managed pretty well.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He set there for a long while, thinkin', and then he says he cal'lates he
+      must have dozed off. At any rate, next thing he knew he was settin' up
+      straight in his chair, listenin'. It seemed to him that he'd heard a sound
+      in the kitchen underneath.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He looked out of the window, and right away he noticed somethin'. 'Twas a
+      beautiful, clear moonlight night, and the high board fence around the
+      buildin's showed black against the white sand. And in that white strip was
+      a ten-foot white gape. Nate had shut that gate afore he went upstairs.
+      Who'd opened it? Then he heard the noise in the kitchen again. Somebody
+      was talkin' down there.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Nate got up and tiptoed acrost the room. He was in his stockin' feet, so
+      he didn't make a sound. He reached into the corner and took out his old
+      duck gun. It was loaded, both barrels. Nate cocked the gun and crept down
+      the back stairs.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There was a lamp burnin' low on the kitchen table, and there, in a couple
+      of chairs hauled as close together as they could be, set that Olivia niece
+      and Augustus. They was in a clove hitch again and whisperin' soft and
+      slushy.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;My! but Scudder was b'ilin'! He give one jump and landed in the middle of
+      that kitchen floor.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You&mdash;you&mdash;you!' he yelled, wavin' the shotgun. 'You're back
+      here, are you? You know what I told you I'd do to you? Well, now, I'll do
+      it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The pair of 'em had jumped about as far as Nate had, only the opposite
+      way. Augustus was a paralyzed statue, but Olivia had her senses with her.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Run, Augustus!' she screamed. 'He'll shoot you. Run!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And then, with a screech like a siren whistle, Augustus commenced to run.
+      Nate was between him and the outside door, so he bolted headfirst into the
+      dining room. And after him went Nate Scudder, so crazy mad he didn't know
+      what he was doin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas pitch dark in the dining room, but through it they went rattlety
+      bang! dishes smashin', chairs upsettin' and 'hurrah, boys!' to pay
+      gen'rally. Then through the best parlor and into the front hall.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I cal'late Nate would have had him at the foot of the front stairs if it
+      hadn't been for Galileo. That cat had been asleep on the sofy, and the
+      noise and hullabaloo had stirred him up till he was as crazy as the rest
+      of 'em. He run right under Nate's feet and down went Nate sprawlin' and
+      both barrels of the shotgun bust loose like a couple of cannon.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Galileo took for tall timber, whoopin' anthems. Up them front stairs went
+      Augustus, screechin' shrill, like a woman; he was SURE Nate meant to
+      murder him now. And after him his uncle went on all fours, swearin'
+      tremendous.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then 'twas through one bedroom after another, and each one more crowded
+      with noisy, smashable things than that previous. Nate said he could
+      remember the professor roarin' 'Fire!' and 'Help!' as the two of 'em
+      bumped into his bed, but they didn't stop&mdash;they was too busy. The
+      whole length of the house upstairs they traveled, then through the ell,
+      then the woodshed loft, and finally out into the upper story of the barn.
+      And there Nate knew he had him. The ladder was down.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Now!' says Nate. 'Now, you long-legged villain, if I don't give you
+      what's comin' to you, then&mdash;Oh, there ain't no use in your climbin'
+      out there; you can't get down.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The big barn doors was open, and, in the moonlight, Nate could see Gus
+      scramblin' up and around on the flyin' stage where the professor's
+      aeroplane was perched, lookin' like some kind of magnified June bug.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Come back, you fool!' Scudder yelled at him. 'Come back and be
+      butchered. You might as well; it's too high for you to drop. You won't?
+      Then I'll come after you.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Nate says he never shall forget Augustus's face in the blue light when he
+      see his uncle climbin' out on that stage after him. He was simply
+      desperate&mdash;that's it, desperate. And the next thing he did was jump
+      into the saddle of the machine and pull the startin' lever.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There was the buzz of the electric motor, a slippery, slidin' sound, one
+      awful hair-raisin' whoop from Augustus, and then&mdash;'F-s-s-s-t!'&mdash;down
+      the flyin' stage whizzed that aeroplane and out through the doors.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Nate set down on the trestles and waited for the sound of the smash. I
+      guess he actually felt conscience stricken. Of course, he'd only done his
+      duty, and yet&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But no smash came. Instead, there was a long scream from the kitchen&mdash;Olivia's
+      voice that was. And then another yell that for pure joy beat anything ever
+      heard.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'It flies!' screamed Professor Ansel Hobart Whiskers Dixland, from his
+      bedroom window. 'At last! At last! It FLIES!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It took Nate some few minutes to paw his way back through the shed loft
+      and the ell over the things him and Gus knocked down on the fust lap,
+      until he got to his room where the trouble had started. Then he went down
+      to the kitchen and outdoor.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Olivia, a heavenly sort of look on her face, was standin' in the
+      moonlight, with her hands clasped, lookin' up at the sky.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'It flies!' says she, in a kind of whisper over and over again. 'Oh! it
+      FLIES!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Alongside of her was old Dixland, wrapped in a bedquilt, forgettin' all
+      about sprains and lameness; and he likewise was staring at the sky and
+      sayin' over and over:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'It flies! It really FLIES!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And Nate looked up, and there, scootin' around in circles, now up high
+      and now down low, tippin' this way and tippin' that, was that aeroplane.
+      And in the stillness you could hear the buzz of the motor and the yells of
+      Augustus.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Down flopped Scudder in the sand. 'Great land of love,' he says, 'it
+      FLIES!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, for five minutes or so they watched that thing swoop and duck and
+      sail up there overhead. And then, slow and easy as a feather in a May
+      breeze, down she flutters and lands soft on a hummock a little ways off.
+      And that Augustus&mdash;a fool for luck&mdash;staggers out of it safe and
+      sound, and sets down and begins to cry.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The fust thing to reach him was Olivia. She grabbed him around the neck,
+      and you never heard such goin's on as them two had. Nate come hurryin' up.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Here you!' he says, pullin' 'em apart. 'That's enough of this. And you,'
+      he adds to Gus, 'clear right out off this island. I won't make shark bait
+      of you this time, but&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And then comes Dixland, hippity-hop over the hummocks. 'My noble boy!' he
+      sings out, fallin' all of a heap onto Augustus's round shoulders. 'My
+      noble boy! My hero!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Nate looked on for a full minute with his mouth open. Olivia went away
+      toward the house. The professor and Gus was sheddin' tears like a couple
+      of waterin' pots.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Come! come!' says Scudder finally; 'get up, Mr. Dixland; you'll catch
+      cold. Now then, you Tolliver, toddle right along to your boat. Don't you
+      worry, professor, I'll fix him so's he won't come here no more.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But the professor turned on him like a flash.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'How dare you interfere?' says he. 'I forgive him everything. He is a
+      hero. Why, man, he FLEW!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Olivia came up behind and touched Nate on the shoulders. 'Don't you think
+      you'd better go, Mr. Scudder?' she purred. 'I've unchained Phillips
+      Brooks.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Nate swears he never made better time than he done gettin' to the shore
+      and the boat Augustus had come over in. But that philanthropist dog only
+      missed the supper he'd been waitin' for by about a foot and a half, even
+      as 'twas.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And that was the end of it, fur's Nate was concerned. Olivia was boss
+      from then on, and Scudder wa'n't allowed to land on his own island. And
+      pretty soon they all went away, flyin' machine and all, and now Gus and
+      Olivia are married.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, by gum!&rdquo; cried Wingate. &ldquo;Say, that must have broke Nate's heart
+      completely. All that good money goin' to the poor. Ha! ha!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; said Captain Sol, with a broad grin. &ldquo;Nate told me that every time
+      he realized that Gus's flyin' at all was due to his scarin' him into it,
+      it fairly made him sick of life.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What did Huldy Ann say? I'll bet the fur flew when SHE heard of it!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I guess likely it did. Scudder says her jawin's was the worst of all. Her
+      principal complaint was that he didn't take up with the professor's
+      five-thousand offer and try to fly. 'What if 'twas risky?' she says. 'If
+      anything happened to you the five thousand would have come to your heirs,
+      wouldn't it? But no! you never think of no one but yourself.'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Wingate glanced at his watch. &ldquo;Good land!&rdquo; he cried, &ldquo;I didn't realize
+      'twas so late. I must trot along down and meet Stitt. He and I are goin'
+      to corner the clam market.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I must be goin', too,&rdquo; said the depot master, rising and moving toward
+      the door, picking up his cap on the way. He threw open the door and
+      exclaimed, &ldquo;Hello! here's Sim. What you got on your mind, Sim?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Phinney looked rather solemn. &ldquo;I wanted to speak with you a minute,
+      Sol,&rdquo; he began. &ldquo;Hello! Barzilla, I didn't know you was here.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I shan't be here but one second longer,&rdquo; replied Mr. Wingate, as he and
+      Phinney shook hands. &ldquo;I'm late already. Bailey'll think I ain't comin'.
+      Good-by, boys. See you this afternoon, maybe.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, do,&rdquo; cried Berry, as his guest hurried down to the gate. &ldquo;I want to
+      hear about those automobiles over your way. You ain't bought one, have
+      you, Barzilla?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Wingate grinned over his shoulder. &ldquo;No,&rdquo; he called, &ldquo;I ain't. But other
+      folks you know have. It's the biggest joke on earth. You and Sim'll want
+      to hear it.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He waved a big hand and walked briskly up the Shore Road. The depot master
+      turned to his friend.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, Sim?&rdquo; he asked.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, Sol,&rdquo; answered the building mover gravely, &ldquo;I've just met Mr.
+      Hilton, the minister, and he told me somethin' about Olive Edwards,
+      somethin' I thought you'd want to know. You said for me to find out what
+      she was cal'latin' to do when she had to give up her home and&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I know what I said,&rdquo; interrupted the depot master rather sharply. &ldquo;What
+      did Hilton say?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Mr. Hilton told me not to tell,&rdquo; continued Phinney, &ldquo;and I shan't tell
+      nobody but you, Sol. I know you wont t mention it. The minister says that
+      Olive's hard up as she can be. All she's got in the world is the little
+      furniture and store stuff in her house. The store stuff don't amount to
+      nothin', but the furniture belonged to her pa and ma, and she set a heap
+      by it. Likewise, as everybody knows, she's awful proud and
+      self-respectin'. Anything like charity would kill her. Now out West&mdash;in
+      Omaha or somewheres&mdash;she's got a cousin who owed her dad money. Old
+      Cap'n Seabury lent this Omaha man two or three thousand dollars and set
+      him up in business. Course, the debt's outlawed, but Olive don't realize
+      that, or, if she did, it wouldn't count with her. She couldn't understand
+      how law would have any effect on payin' money you honestly owe. She's
+      written to the Omaha cousin, tellin' him what a scrape she's in and askin'
+      him to please, if convenient, let her have a thousand or so on account.
+      She figgers if she gets that, she can go to Bayport or Orham or somewheres
+      and open another notion store.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Berry lit a cigar. &ldquo;Hum!&rdquo; he said, after a minute. &ldquo;You say she's
+      written to this chap. Has she got an answer yet?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No, not any definite one. She heard from the man's wife sayin' that her
+      husband&mdash;the cousin&mdash;had gone on a fishin' trip somewheres up in
+      Canady and wouldn't be back afore the eighth of next month. Soon's he does
+      come he'll write her. But Mr. Hilton thinks, and so do I&mdash;havin'
+      heard a few things about this cousin&mdash;that it's mighty doubtful if he
+      sends any money.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, I shouldn't wonder. Where's Olive goin' to stay while she's waitin'
+      to hear?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;In her own house. Mr. Hilton went to Williams and pleaded with him, and
+      he finally agreed to let her stay there until the 'Colonial' is moved onto
+      the lot. Then the Edwardses house'll be tore down and Olive'll have to go,
+      of course.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The depot master puffed thoughtfully at his cigar.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She won't hear before the tenth, at the earliest,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;And if
+      Williams begins to move his 'Colonial' at once, he'll get it to her lot by
+      the seventh, sure. Have you given him your figures for the job?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Handed 'em in this very mornin'. One of his high-and-mighty servants, all
+      brass buttons and braid, like a feller playin' in the band, took my letter
+      and condescended to say he'd pass it on to Williams. I'd liked to have
+      kicked the critter, just to see if he COULD unbend; but I jedged
+      'twouldn't be good business.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Probably not. If the 'Colonial' gets to Olive's lot afore she hears from
+      the Omaha man, what then?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, that's the worst of it. The minister don't know what she'll do.
+      There's plenty of places where she'd be more'n welcome to visit a spell,
+      but she's too proud to accept. Mr. Hilton's afraid she'll start for Boston
+      to hunt up a job, or somethin'. You know how much chance she stands of
+      gettin' a job that's wuth anything.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Phinney paused, anxiously awaiting his companion's reply. When it came it
+      was very unsatisfactory.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I'm goin' to the depot,&rdquo; said the Captain, brusquely. &ldquo;So long, Sim.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He slammed the door of the house behind him, strode to the gate, flung it
+      open, and marched on. Simeon gazed in astonishment, then hurried to
+      overtake him. Ranging alongside, he endeavored to reopen the conversation,
+      but to no purpose. The depot master would not talk. They turned into Cross
+      Street.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well!&rdquo; exclaimed Mr. Phinney, panting from his unaccustomed hurry, &ldquo;what
+      be we, runnin' a race? Why! . . . Oh, how d'ye do, Mr. Williams, sir? Want
+      to see me, do you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The magnate of East Harniss stepped forward.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Er&mdash;Phinney,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;I want a moment of your time. Morning,
+      Berry.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Mornin', Williams,&rdquo; observed Captain Sol brusquely. &ldquo;All right, Sim. I'll
+      wait for you farther on.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He continued his walk. The building mover stood still. Mr. Williams
+      frowned with lofty indignation.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Phinney,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;I've just looked over those figures of yours, your
+      bid for moving my new house. The price is ridiculous.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Simeon attempted a pleasantry. &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; he answered, &ldquo;I thought 'twas
+      ridic'lous myself; but I needed the money, so I thought I could afford to
+      be funny.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The Williams frown deepened.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I didn't mean ridiculously low,&rdquo; he snapped; &ldquo;I meant ridiculously high.
+      I'd rather help out you town fellows if I can, but you can't work me for a
+      good thing. I've written to Colt and Adams, of Boston, and accepted their
+      offer. You had your chance and didn't see fit to take it. That's all. I'm
+      sorry.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Simeon was angry; also a trifle skeptical.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Mr. Williams,&rdquo; he demanded, &ldquo;do you mean to tell me that THEM people have
+      agreed to move you cheaper'n I can?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Their price&mdash;their actual price may be no lower; but considering
+      their up-to-date outfit and&mdash;er&mdash;progressive methods, they're
+      cheaper. Yes. Morning, Phinney.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He turned on his heel and walked off. Mr. Phinney, crestfallen and angrier
+      than ever, moved on to where the depot master stood waiting for him.
+      Captain Sol smiled grimly.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You don't look merry as a Christmas tree, Sim,&rdquo; he observed. &ldquo;What did
+      his Majesty have to say to you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Simeon related the talk with Williams. The depot master's grim smile grew
+      broader.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sim,&rdquo; he asked, with quiet sarcasm, &ldquo;don't you realize that progressive
+      methods are necessary in movin' a house?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Phinney tried to smile in return, but the attempt was a failure.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; went on the Captain. &ldquo;Well, if you can't take the Grand Panjandrum
+      home, you can set on the fence and see him go by. That ought to be honor
+      enough, hadn't it? However, I may need some of your ridiculous figgers on
+      a movin' job of my own, pretty soon. Don't be TOO comical, will you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What do you mean by that, Sol Berry?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I mean that I may decide to move my own house.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Move your OWN house? Where to, for mercy sakes?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;To that lot on Main Street that belongs to Abner Payne. Abner has wanted
+      to buy my lot here on the Shore Road for a long time. He knows it'll make
+      a fine site for some rich bigbug's summer 'cottage.' He would have bought
+      the house, too, but I think too much of that to sell it. Now Abner's come
+      back with another offer. He'll swap my lot for the Main Street one, pay my
+      movin' expenses and a fair 'boot' besides. He don't really care for my
+      HOUSE, you understand; it's my LAND he's after.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Are you goin' to take it up?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I don't know. The Main Street lot's a good one, and my house'll look good
+      on it. And I'll make money by the deal.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, but you've always swore by that saltwater view of yours. Told me
+      yourself you never wanted to live anywheres else.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Sol took the cigar from his lips, looked at it, then threw it
+      violently into the gutter.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What difference does it make where I live?&rdquo; he snarled. &ldquo;Who in blazes
+      cares where I live or whether I live at all?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sol Berry, what on airth&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Shut up! Let me alone, Sim! I ain't fit company for anybody just now.
+      Clear out, there's a good feller.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The next moment he was striding down the hill. Mr. Phinney drew a long
+      breath, scratched his head and shook it solemnly. WHAT did it all mean?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0008" id="link2HCH0008">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER VIII
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      THE OBLIGATIONS OF A GENTLEMAN
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      The methods of Messrs. Colt and Adams, the Boston firm of building movers,
+      were certainly progressive, if promptness in getting to work is any
+      criterion. Two days after the acceptance of their terms by Mr. Williams, a
+      freight car full of apparatus arrived at East Harniss. Then came a foreman
+      and a gang of laborers. Horses were hired, and within a week the &ldquo;pure
+      Colonial&rdquo; was off its foundations and on its way to the Edwards lot. The
+      moving was no light task. The big house must be brought along the Shore
+      Road to the junction with the Hill Boulevard, then swung into that
+      aristocratic highway and carried up the long slope, around the wide curve,
+      to its destination.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Phinney, though he hated the whole operation, those having it in
+      charge, and the mighty Williams especially, could not resist stealing down
+      to see how his successful rivals were progressing with the work he had
+      hoped to do. It caused him much chagrin to see that they were getting on
+      so very well. One morning, after breakfast, as he stood at the corner of
+      the Boulevard and the Shore Road, he found himself engaged in a mental
+      calculation.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Three days more and they would swing into the Boulevard; four or five days
+      after that and they would be abreast the Edwards lot. Another day and . .
+      . Poor Olive! She would be homeless. Where would she go? It was too early
+      for a reply from the Omaha cousin, but Simeon, having questioned the
+      minister, had little hope that that reply would be favorable. Still it was
+      a chance, and if the money SHOULD come before the &ldquo;pure Colonial&rdquo; reached
+      the Edwards lot, then the widow would at least not be driven penniless
+      from her home. She would have to leave that home in any event, but she
+      could carry out her project of opening another shop in one of the
+      neighboring towns. Otherwise . . . Mr. Phinney swore aloud.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Humph!&rdquo; said a voice behind him. &ldquo;I agree with you, though I don't know
+      what it's all about. I ain't heard anything better put for a long while.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Simeon spun around, as he said afterwards, &ldquo;like a young one's pinwheel.&rdquo;
+       At his elbow stood Captain Berry, the depot master, hands in pockets,
+      cigar in mouth, the personification of calmness and imperturbability. He
+      had come out of his house, which stood close to the corner, and walked
+      over to join his friend.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Land of love!&rdquo; exclaimed Simeon. &ldquo;Why don't you scare a fellow to death,
+      tiptoein' around? I never see such a cat-foot critter!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Sol smiled. &ldquo;Jumpin' it, ain't they?&rdquo; he said, nodding toward the
+      &ldquo;Colonial.&rdquo; &ldquo;Be there by the tenth, won't it?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Tenth!&rdquo; Mr. Phinney sniffed disgust. &ldquo;It'll be there by the sixth, or I
+      miss my guess.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yup. Say, Sim, how soon could you land that shanty of mine in the road if
+      I give you the job to move it?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I couldn't get it up to the Main Street lot inside of a fortnight,&rdquo;
+       replied Sim, after a moment's reflection. &ldquo;Fur's gettin' it in the road
+      goes, I could have it here day after to-morrow if I had gang enough.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The depot master took the cigar out of his mouth and blew a ring of smoke.
+      &ldquo;All right,&rdquo; he drawled, &ldquo;get gang enough.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Phinney jumped. &ldquo;You mean you've decided to take up with Payne's offer and
+      swap your lot for his?&rdquo; he gasped. &ldquo;Why, only two or three days ago you
+      said&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ya-as. That was two or three days ago, and I've been watchin' the
+      'Colonial' since. I cal'late the movin' habit's catchin'. You have your
+      gang here by noon to-day.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sol Berry, are you crazy? You ain't seen Abner Payne; he's out of town&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Don't have to see him. He's made me an offer and I'll write and accept
+      it.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But you've got to have a selectmen's permit to move&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Got it. I went up and saw the chairman an hour ago. He's a friend of
+      mine. I nominated him town-meetin' day.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But,&rdquo; stammered Phinney, very much upset by the suddenness of it all,
+      &ldquo;you ain't got my price nor&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Drat your price! Give it when I ask it. See here, Sim, are you goin' to
+      have my house in the middle of the road by day after to-morrer? Or was
+      that just talk?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twa'n't talk. I can have it there, but&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;All right,&rdquo; said Captain Sol coolly, &ldquo;then have it.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Hands in pockets, he strolled away. Simeon sat down on a rock by the
+      roadside and whistled.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      However, whistling was a luxurious and time-wasting method of expressing
+      amazement, and Mr. Phinney could not afford luxuries just then. For the
+      rest of that day he was a busy man. As Bailey Stitt expressed it, he &ldquo;flew
+      round like a sand flea in a mitten,&rdquo; hiring laborers, engaging masons, and
+      getting his materials ready. That very afternoon the masons began tearing
+      down the chimneys of the little Berry house. Before the close of the
+      following day it was on the rollers. By two of the day after that it was
+      in the middle of the Shore Road, just when its mover had declared it
+      should be. They were moving it, furniture and all, and Captain Sol was, as
+      he said, going to &ldquo;stay right aboard all the voyage.&rdquo; No cooking could be
+      done, of course, but the Captain arranged to eat at Mrs. Higgins's
+      hospitable table during the transit. His sudden freak was furnishing
+      material for gossip throughout the village, but he did not care. Gossip
+      concerning his actions was the last thing in the world to trouble Captain
+      Sol Berry.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Williams's &ldquo;Colonial&rdquo; was moving toward the corner at a rapid rate,
+      and the foreman of the Boston moving firm walked over to see Mr. Phinney.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Say,&rdquo; he observed to Simeon, who, the perspiration streaming down his
+      face, was resting for a moment before recommencing his labor of arranging
+      rollers; &ldquo;say,&rdquo; observed the foreman, &ldquo;we'll be ready to turn into the
+      Boulevard by tomorrer night and you're blockin' the way.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That's all right,&rdquo; said Simeon, &ldquo;we'll be past the Boulevard corner by
+      that time.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He thought he was speaking the truth, but next morning, before work began,
+      Captain Berry appeared. He had had breakfast and strolled around to the
+      scene of operations.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; asked Phinney, &ldquo;how'd it seem to sleep on wheels?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Tiptop,&rdquo; replied the depot master. &ldquo;Like it fust rate. S'pose my next
+      berth will be somewheres up there, won't it?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He was pointing around the corner instead of straight ahead. Simeon gaped,
+      his mouth open.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Up THERE?&rdquo; he cried. &ldquo;Why, of course not. That's the Boulevard. We're
+      goin' along the Shore Road.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That so? I guess not. We're goin' by the Boulevard. Can go that way,
+      can't we?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Can?&rdquo; repeated Simeon aghast. &ldquo;Course we CAN! But it's like boxin' the
+      whole compass backward to get ha'f a p'int east of no'th. It's way round
+      Robin Hood's barn. It'll take twice as long and cost&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That's good,&rdquo; interrupted the Captain. &ldquo;I like to travel, and I'm willin'
+      to pay for it. Think of the view I'll get on the way.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But your permit from the selectmen&mdash;&rdquo; began Phinney. Berry held up
+      his hand.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;My permit never said nothin' about the course to take,&rdquo; he answered, his
+      eye twinkling just a little. &ldquo;There, Sim, you're wastin' time. I move by
+      the Hill Boulevard.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      And into the Boulevard swung the Berry house. The Colt and Adams foreman
+      was an angry man when he saw the beams laid in that direction. He rushed
+      over and asked profane and pointed questions.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Thought you said you was goin' straight ahead?&rdquo; he demanded.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Thought I was,&rdquo; replied Simeon, &ldquo;but, you see, I'm only navigator of this
+      craft, not owner.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Where is the blankety blank?&rdquo; asked the foreman.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;If you're referrin' to Cap'n Berry, I cal'late you'll find him at the
+      depot,&rdquo; answered Phinney. To the depot went the foreman. Receiving little
+      satisfaction there, he hurried to the home of his employer, Mr. Williams.
+      The magnate, red-faced and angry, returned with him to the station.
+      Captain Sol received them blandly. Issy, who heard the interview which
+      followed, declared that the depot master was so cool that &ldquo;an iceberg was
+      a bonfire 'longside of him.&rdquo; Issy's description of this interview, given
+      to a dozen townspeople within the next three hours, was as follows:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Mr. Williams,&rdquo; said the wide-eyed Issy, &ldquo;he comes postin' into the
+      waitin' room, his foreman with him. Williams marches over to Cap'n Sol and
+      he says, 'Berry,' he says, 'are you responsible for the way that house of
+      yours is moved?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Cap'n Sol bowed and smiled. 'Yes,' says he, sweet as a fresh scallop.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You're movin' it to Main Street, aren't you? I so understood.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You understood correct. That's where she's bound.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Then what do you mean by turning out of your road and into mine?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, I don't own any road. Have you bought the Boulevard? The selectmen
+      ought to have told us that. I s'posed it was town thoroughfare.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Mr. Williams colored up a little. 'I didn't mean my road in that sense,'
+      he says. 'But the direct way to Main Street is along the shore, and
+      everybody knows it. Now why do you turn from that into the Boulevard?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Cap'n Sol took a cigar from his pocket. 'Have one?' says he, passin' it
+      toward Mr. Williams. 'No? Too soon after breakfast, I s'pose. Why do I
+      turn off?' he goes on. 'Well, I'll tell you. I'm goin' to stay right
+      aboard my shack while it's movin', and it's so much pleasanter a ride up
+      the hill that I thought I'd go that way. I always envied them who could
+      afford a house on the Boulevard, and now I've got the chance to have one
+      there&mdash;for a spell. I'm sartin I shall enjoy it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The foreman growled, disgusted. Mr. Williams got redder yet.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Don't you understand?' he snorts. 'You're blockin' the way of the house
+      I'M movin'. I have capable men with adequate apparatus to move it, and
+      they would be able to go twice as fast as your one-horse country outfit.
+      You're blockin' the road. Now they must follow you. It's an outrage!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Cap'n Sol smiled once more. 'Too bad,' says he. 'It's a pity such a nice
+      street ain't wider. If it was my street in my town&mdash;I b'lieve that's
+      what you call East Harniss, ain't it?&mdash;seems to me I'd widen it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The boss of 'my town' ground his heel into the sand. 'Berry,' he snaps,
+      'are you goin' to move that house over the Boulevard ahead of mine?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The Cap'n looked him square in the eye. 'Williams,' says he, 'I am.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The millionaire turned short and started to go.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You'll pay for it,' he snarls, his temper gettin' free at last.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I cal'late to,' purrs the Cap'n. 'I gen'rally do pay for what I want,
+      and a fair price, at that. I never bought in cheap mortgages and held 'em
+      for clubs over poor folks, never in my life. Good mornin'.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And right to Mr. Williams's own face, too,&rdquo; concluded Issy. &ldquo;WHAT do you
+      think of that?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Here was defiance of authority and dignity, a sensation which should have
+      racked East Harniss from end to end. But most of the men in the village,
+      the tradespeople particularly, had another matter on their minds, namely,
+      Major Cuthbertson Scott Hardee, of &ldquo;Silverleaf Hall.&rdquo; The Major and his
+      debts were causing serious worriment.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The creditors of the Major met, according to agreement, on the Monday
+      evening following their previous gathering at the club. Obed Gott, one of
+      the first to arrive, greeted his fellow members with an air of gloomy
+      triumph and a sort of condescending pity.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Higgins, the &ldquo;general store&rdquo; keeper, acting as self-appointed chairman,
+      asked if anyone had anything to report. For himself, he had seen the Major
+      and asked point-blank for payment of his bill. The Major had been very
+      polite and was apparently much concerned that his fellow townsmen should
+      have been inconvenienced by any neglect of his. He would write to his
+      attorneys at once, so he said.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He said a whole lot more, too,&rdquo; added Higgins. &ldquo;Said he had never been
+      better served than by the folks in this town, and that I kept a fine
+      store, and so on and so forth. But I haven't got any money yet. Anybody
+      else had any better luck?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      No one had, although several had had similar interviews with the master of
+      &ldquo;Silverleaf Hall.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Obed looks as if he knew somethin',&rdquo; remarked Weeks. &ldquo;What is it, Obed?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Gott scornfully waved his hand.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You fellers make me laugh,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;You talk and talk, but you don't do
+      nothin'. I b'lieve in doin', myself. When I went home t'other night,
+      thinks I: 'There's one man that might know somethin' 'bout old Hardee, and
+      that's Godfrey, the hotel man.' So I wrote to Godfrey up to Boston and I
+      got a letter from him. Here 'tis.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He read the letter aloud. Mr. Godfrey wrote that he knew nothing about
+      Major Hardee further than that he had been able to get nothing from him in
+      payment for his board.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So I seized his trunk,&rdquo; the letter concluded. &ldquo;There was nothing in it
+      worth mentioning, but I took it on principle. The Major told me a lot
+      about writing to his attorneys for money, but I didn't pay much attention
+      to that. I'm afraid he's an old fraud, but I can't help liking him, and if
+      I had kept on running my hotel I guess he would have got away scot-free.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There!&rdquo; exclaimed the triumphant Obed, with a sneer, &ldquo;I guess that
+      settles it, don't it? Maybe you'd be willin' to turn your bills over to
+      Squire Baker now.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      But they were not willing. Higgins argued, and justly, that although the
+      Major was in all probability a fraud, not even a lawyer could get water
+      out of a stone, and that when a man had nothing, suing him was a waste of
+      time and cash.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Besides,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;there's just a chance that he may have attorneys and
+      property somewheres else. Let's write him a letter and every one of us
+      sign it, tellin' him that we'll call on him Tuesday night expectin' to be
+      paid in full. If we call and don't get any satisfaction, why, we ain't any
+      worse off, and then we can&mdash;well, run him out of town, if nothin'
+      more.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      So the letter was written and signed by every man there. It was a long
+      list of signatures and an alarming total of indebtedness. The letter was
+      posted that night.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The days that followed seemed long to Obed. He was ill-natured at home and
+      ugly at the shop, and Polena declared that he was &ldquo;gettin' so a body
+      couldn't live with him.&rdquo; Her own spirits were remarkably high, and Obed
+      noticed that, as the days went by, she seemed to be unusually excited. On
+      Thursday she announced that she was going to Orham to visit her niece, one
+      Sarah Emma Cahoon, and wouldn't be back right off. He knew better than to
+      object, and so she went.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      That evening each of the signers of the letter to Major Hardee received a
+      courteous note saying that the Major would be pleased to receive the
+      gentlemen at the Hall. Nothing was said about payment.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      So, after some discussion, the creditors marched in procession across the
+      fields and up to &ldquo;Silverleaf Hall.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hardee's been to Orham to-day,&rdquo; whispered the keeper of the livery
+      stable, as they entered the yard. &ldquo;He drove over this mornin' and come
+      back to-night.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;DROVE over!&rdquo; exclaimed Obed, halting in his tracks. &ldquo;He did? Where'd he
+      get the team? I'll bet five dollars you was soft enough to let him have
+      it, and never said a word. Well, if you ain't&mdash;By jimmy! you wait
+      till I get at him! I'll show you that he can't soft soap me.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Augustus met them at the door and ushered them into the old-fashioned
+      parlor. The Major, calm, cool, and imperturbably polite, was waiting to
+      receive them. He made some observation concerning the weather.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The day's fine enough,&rdquo; interrupted Obed, pushing to the front, &ldquo;but that
+      ain't what we come here to talk about. Are you goin' to pay us what you
+      owe? That's what we want to know.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The &ldquo;gentleman of the old school&rdquo; did not answer immediately. Instead he
+      turned to the solemn servant at his elbow.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Augustus,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;you may make ready.&rdquo; Then, looking serenely at the
+      irate Mr. Gott, whose clenched fist rested under the center table, which
+      he had thumped to emphasize his demands, the Major asked:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I beg your pardon, my dear sir, but what is the total of my indebtedness
+      to you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Nineteen dollars and twenty-eight cents, and I want you to understand
+      that&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Major Hardee held up a slim, white hand.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;One moment, if you please,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Now, Augustus.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Augustus opened the desk in the corner and produced an imposing stack of
+      bank notes. Then he brought forth neat piles of halves, quarters, dimes,
+      and pennies, and arranged the whole upon the table. Obed's mouth and those
+      of his companions gaped in amazement.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Have you your bill with you, Mr. Gott?&rdquo; inquired the Major.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Dazedly Mr. Gott produced the required document.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Thank you. Augustus, nineteen twenty-eight to this gentleman. Kindly
+      receipt the bill, Mr. Gott, if you please. A mere formality, of course,
+      but it is well to be exact. Thank you, sir. And now, Mr. Higgins.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      One by one the creditors shamefacedly stepped forward, received the amount
+      due, receipted the bill, and stepped back again. Mr. Peters, the
+      photographer, was the last to sign.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Gentlemen,&rdquo; said the Major, &ldquo;I am sorry that my carelessness in financial
+      matters should have caused you this trouble, but now that you are here, a
+      representative gathering of East Harniss's men of affairs, upon this night
+      of all nights, it seems fitting that I should ask for your
+      congratulations. Augustus.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The wooden-faced Augustus retired to the next room and reappeared carrying
+      a tray upon which were a decanter and glasses.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Gentlemen,&rdquo; continued the Major, &ldquo;I have often testified to my admiration
+      and regard for your&mdash;perhaps I may now say OUR&mdash;charming
+      village. This admiration and regard has extended to the fair daughters of
+      the township. It may be that some of you have conscientious scruples
+      against the use of intoxicants. These scruples I respect, but I am sure
+      that none of you will refuse to at least taste a glass of wine with me
+      when I tell you that I have this day taken one of the fairest to love and
+      cherish during life.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He stepped to the door of the dining room, opened it, and said quietly,
+      &ldquo;My dear, will you honor us with your presence?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      There was a rustle of black silk and there came through the doorway the
+      stately form of her who had been Mrs. Polena Ginn.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Gentlemen,&rdquo; said the Major, &ldquo;permit me to present to you my wife, the new
+      mistress of 'Silverleaf Hall.'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The faces of the ex-creditors were pictures of astonishment. Mr. Gott's
+      expressive countenance turned white, then red, and then settled to a
+      mottled shade, almost as if he had the measles. Polena rushed to his side.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;O Obed!&rdquo; she exclaimed. &ldquo;I know we'd ought to have told you, but 'twas
+      only Tuesday the Major asked me, and we thought we'd keep it a secret so's
+      to s'prise you. Mr. Langworthy over to Orham married us, and&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;My dear,&rdquo; her husband blandly interrupted, &ldquo;we will not intrude our
+      private affairs upon the patience of these good friends. And now,
+      gentlemen, let me propose a toast: To the health and happiness of the
+      mistress of 'Silverleaf Hall'! Brother Obed, I&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The outside door closed with a slam; &ldquo;Brother Obed&rdquo; had fled.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      A little later, when the rest of the former creditors of the Major came
+      out into the moonlight, they found their companion standing by the gate
+      gazing stonily into vacancy. &ldquo;Hen&rdquo; Leadbetter, who, with Higgins, brought
+      up the rear of the procession, said reflectively:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;When he fust fetched out that stack of money I couldn't scarcely b'lieve
+      my eyes. I begun to think that we fellers had put our foot in it for
+      sartin, and had lost a mighty good customer; but, of course, it's all
+      plain enough NOW.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; remarked Weeks with a nod; &ldquo;I allers heard that P'lena kept a
+      mighty good balance in the bank.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It looks to me,&rdquo; said Higgins slyly, &ldquo;as if we owed Obed here a vote of
+      thanks. How 'bout that, Obed?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      And then Major Hardee's new brother-in-law awoke with a jump.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Aw, you go to grass!&rdquo; he snarled, and tramped savagely off down the hill.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0009" id="link2HCH0009">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER IX
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      THE WIDOW BASSETT
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      These developments, Major Hardee's marriage and Mr. Gott's discomfiture,
+      overshadowed, for the time, local interest in the depot master's house
+      moving. This was, in its way, rather fortunate, for those who took the
+      trouble to walk down to the lower end of the Boulevard were astonished to
+      see how very slowly the moving was progressing.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Only one horse, Sim?&rdquo; asked Captain Hiram Baker. &ldquo;Only one! Why, it'll
+      take you forever to get through, won't it?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I'm afraid it'll take quite a spell,&rdquo; admitted Mr. Phinney.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Where's your other one, the white one?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The white horse,&rdquo; said Simeon slowly, &ldquo;ain't feelin' just right and I've
+      had to lay him off.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Humph! that's too bad. How does Sol act about it? He's such a hustler, I
+      should think&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sol,&rdquo; interrupted Sim, &ldquo;ain't unreasonable. He understands.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He chuckled inwardly as he said it. Captain Sol did understand. Also Mr.
+      Phinney himself was beginning to understand a little.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The very day on which Williams and his foreman had called on the depot
+      master and been dismissed so unceremoniously, that official paid a short
+      visit to his mover.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sim,&rdquo; he said, the twinkle still in his eye, &ldquo;his Majesty, Williams the
+      Conqueror, was in to see me just now and acted real peevish. He was pretty
+      disrespectful to you, too. Called your outfit 'one horse.' That's a
+      mistake, because you've got two horses at work right now. It seems a shame
+      to make a great man like that lie. Hadn't you better lay off one of them
+      horses?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Lay one OFF?&rdquo; exclaimed Simeon. &ldquo;What for? Why, we'll be slow enough, as
+      'tis. With only one horse we wouldn't get through for I don't know how
+      long.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That's so,&rdquo; murmured the Captain. &ldquo;I s'pose with one horse you'd hardly
+      reach the middle of the Boulevard by&mdash;well, before the tenth of the
+      month. Hey?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The tenth of the month! The TENTH! Why, it was on the tenth that that
+      Omaha cousin of Olive Edwards was to&mdash;Mr. Phinney began to see&mdash;to
+      see and to grin, slow but expansive.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hm-m-m!&rdquo; he mused.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; observed Captain Sol. &ldquo;That white horse of yours looks sort of
+      ailin' to me, Sim. I think he needs a rest.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      And, sure enough, next day the white horse was pronounced unfit and taken
+      back to the stable. The depot master's dwelling moved, but that is all one
+      could say truthfully concerning its progress.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      At the depot the Captain was quieter than usual. He joked with his
+      assistant less than had been his custom, and for the omission Issy was
+      duly grateful. Sometimes Captain Sol would sit for minutes without
+      speaking. He seemed to be thinking and to be pondering some grave problem.
+      When his friends, Mr. Wingate, Captain Stitt, Hiram Baker, and the rest,
+      dropped in on him he cheered up and was as conversational as ever. After
+      they had gone he relapsed into his former quiet mood.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He acts sort of blue, to me,&rdquo; declared Issy, speaking from the depths of
+      sensational-novel knowledge. &ldquo;If he was a younger man I'd say he was most
+      likely in love. Ah, hum! I s'pose bein' in love does get a feller
+      mournful, don't it?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy made this declaration to his mother only. He knew better than to
+      mention sentiment to male acquaintances. The latter were altogether too
+      likely to ask embarrassing questions.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Wingate and Captain Stitt were still in town, although their stay was
+      drawing to a close. One afternoon they entered the station together.
+      Captain Sol seemed glad to see them.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Set down, fellers,&rdquo; he ordered. &ldquo;I swan I'm glad to see you. I ain't fit
+      company for myself these days.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ain't Betsy Higgins feedin' you up to the mark?&rdquo; asked Stitt. &ldquo;Or is
+      house movin' gettin' on your vitals?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; growled the depot master, &ldquo;grub's all right and so's movin', I
+      cal'late. I'm glad you fellers come in. What's the news to Orham,
+      Barzilla? How's the Old Home House boarders standin' it? Hear from Jonadab
+      regular, do you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Wingate laughed. &ldquo;Nothin' much,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Jonadab's too busy to write
+      these days. Bein' a sport interferes with letter writing consider'ble.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sport!&rdquo; exclaimed Captain Bailey. &ldquo;Land of Goshen! Cap'n Jonadab is the
+      last one I'd call a sport.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That's 'cause you ain't a good judge of human nature, Bailey,&rdquo; chuckled
+      Barzilla. &ldquo;When ancient plants like Jonadab Wixon DO bloom, they're gay
+      old blossoms, I tell you!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What do you mean?&rdquo; asked the depot master.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I mean that Jonadab's been givin' me heart disease, that's what; givin'
+      it to me in a good many diff'rent ways, too. We opened the Old Home House
+      the middle of April this year, because Peter T. Brown thought we might
+      catch some spring trade. We did catch a little, though whether it paid to
+      open up so early's a question. But 'twas June 'fore Jonadab got his
+      disease so awful bad. However, most any time in the last part of May the
+      reg'lar programme of the male boarders was stirrin' him up.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Take it of a dull day, for instance. Sky overcast and the wind aidgin'
+      round to the sou'east, so's you couldn't tell whether 'twould rain or fair
+      off; too cold to go off to the ledge cod fishin' and too hot for billiards
+      or bowlin'; a bunch of the younger women folks at one end of the piazza
+      playin' bridge; half a dozen men, includin' me and Cap'n Jonadab, smokin'
+      and tryin' to keep awake at t'other end; amidships a gang of females&mdash;all
+      'fresh air fiends'&mdash;and mainly widows or discards in the matrimony
+      deal, doin' fancywork and gossip. That would be about the usual layout.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Conversation got to you in homeopath doses, somethin' like this:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Did you say &ldquo;Spades&rdquo;? WELL! if I'd known you were going to make us lose
+      our deal like that, I'd never have bridged it&mdash;not with THIS hand.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, Miss Gabble, have you heard what people are sayin' about&mdash;' The
+      rest of it whispers.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'A&mdash;oo&mdash;OW! By George, Bill! this is dead enough, isn't it?
+      Shall we match for the cigars or are you too lazy?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then, from away off in the stillness would come a drawn-out 'Honk! honk!'
+      like a wild goose with the asthma, and pretty soon up the road would come
+      sailin' a big red automobile, loaded to the guards with goggles and
+      grandeur, and whiz past the hotel in a hurricane of dust and smell. Then
+      all hands would set up and look interested, and Bill would wink acrost at
+      his chum and drawl:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'That's the way to get over the country! Why, a horse isn't one&mdash;two&mdash;three
+      with that! Cap'n Wixon, I'm surprised that a sportin' man like you hasn't
+      bought one of those things long afore this.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;For the next twenty minutes there wouldn't be any dullness. Jonadab would
+      take care of that. He'd have the floor and be givin' his opinions of autos
+      and them that owned and run 'em. And between the drops of his language
+      shower you'd see them boarders nudgin' each other and rockin' back and
+      forth contented and joyful.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It always worked. No matter what time of day or night, all you had to say
+      was 'auto' and Cap'n Jonadab would sail up out of his chair like one of
+      them hot-air balloons the youngsters nowadays have on Fourth of July. And
+      he wouldn't come down till he was empty of remarks, nuther. You never see
+      a man get so red faced and eloquent.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It wa'n't because he couldn't afford one himself. I know that's the usual
+      reason for them kind of ascensions, but 'twa'n't his. No, sir! the summer
+      hotel business has put a considerable number of dollars in Jonadab's
+      hands, and the said hands are like a patent rat trap, a mighty sight
+      easier to get into than out of. He could have bought three automobiles if
+      he'd wanted to, but he didn't want to. And the reason he didn't was named
+      Tobias Loveland and lived over to Orham.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I know Tobias,&rdquo; interrupted Captain Bailey Stitt.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Course you do,&rdquo; continued Barzilla. &ldquo;So does Sol, I guess. Well, anyhow,
+      Tobias and Cap'n Jonadab never did hitch. When they was boys together at
+      school they was always rowin' and fightin', and when they grew up to be
+      thirty and courted the same girl&mdash;ten years younger than either of
+      'em, she was&mdash;twa'n't much better. Neither of 'em got her, as a
+      matter of fact; she married a tin peddler named Bassett over to Hyannis.
+      But both cal'lated they would have won if t'other hadn't been in the race,
+      and consequently they loved each other with a love that passed
+      understandin'. Tobias had got well to do in the cranberry-raisin' line and
+      drove a fast horse. Jonadab, durin' the last prosperous year or two, had
+      bought what he thought was some horse, likewise. They met on the road one
+      day last spring and trotted alongside one another for a mile. At the end
+      of that mile Jonadab's craft's jib boom was just astern of Tobias's
+      rudder. Inside of that week the Cap'n had swapped his horse for one with a
+      two-thirty record, and the next time they met Tobias was left with a
+      beautiful, but dusty, view of Jonadab's back hair. So HE bought a new
+      horse. And that was the beginnin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It went along that way for twelve months. Fust one feller's nag would
+      come home freighted with perspiration and glory, and then t'other's. One
+      week Jonadab would be so bloated with horse pride that he couldn't find
+      room for his vittles, and the next he'd be out in the stable growlin'
+      'cause it cost so much for hay to stuff an old hide rack that wa'n't fit
+      to put in a museum. At last it got so that neither one could find a better
+      horse on the Cape, and the two they had was practically an even match. I
+      begun to have hopes that the foolishness was over. And then the tin
+      peddler's widow drifts in to upset the whole calabash.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She made port at Orham fust, this Henrietta Bassett did, and the style
+      she slung killed every female Goliath in the Orham sewin' circle dead.
+      Seems her husband that was had been an inventor, as a sort of side line to
+      peddlin' tinware, and all to once he invented somethin' that worked. He
+      made money&mdash;nobody knew how much, though all hands had a guess&mdash;and
+      pretty soon afterwards he made a will and Henrietta a widow. She'd been
+      livin' in New York, so she said, and had come back to revisit the scenes
+      of her childhood. She was a mighty well-preserved woman&mdash;artificial
+      preservatives, I cal'late, like some kinds of tomatter ketchup&mdash;and
+      her comin' stirred Orham way down to the burnt places on the bottom of the
+      kettle.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I guess I remember HER, too,&rdquo; put in Captain Bailey.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Say!&rdquo; queried Mr. Wingate snappishly, &ldquo;do you want to tell about her? If
+      you do, why&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Belay, both of you!&rdquo; ordered the depot master. &ldquo;Heave ahead, Barzilla.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The news of her got over to Wellmouth, and me and Jonadab heard of it. He
+      was some subject to widows&mdash;most widower men are, I guess&mdash;but
+      he didn't develop no alarmin' symptoms in this case and never even hinted
+      that he'd like to see his old girl. Fact is, his newest horse trade had
+      showed that it was afraid of automobiles, and he was beginnin' to get
+      rabid along that line. Then come that afternoon when him and me was out
+      drivin' together, and we&mdash;Well, I'll have to tell you about that.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We was over on the long stretch of wood road between Trumet and Denboro,
+      nice hard macadam, the mare&mdash;her name was Celia, but Jonadab had
+      re-christened her Bay Queen after a boat he used to own&mdash;skimmin'
+      along at a smooth, easy gait, when, lo and behold you! we rounds a turn
+      and there ahead of us is a light, rubber-tired wagon with a man and woman
+      on the seat of it. I heard Jonadab give a kind of snort.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What's the matter?' says I.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Nothin',' says he, between his teeth. 'Only, if I ain't some mistaken,
+      that's Tobe Loveland's rig. Wonder if he's got his spunk with him? The
+      Queen's feelin' her oats to-day, and I cal'late I can show him a few
+      things.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Rubbish!' says I, disgusted. 'Don't be foolish, Jonadab. I don't know
+      nothin' about his spunk, but I do know there's a woman with him. 'Tain't
+      likely he'll want to race you when he's got a passenger aboard.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, I don't know!' says he. 'I've got you, Barzilla; so 'twill be two
+      and two. Let's heave alongside and see.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So he clucked to the Queen, and in a jiffy we was astern of t'other rig.
+      Loveland looked back over his shoulder.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Ugh!' he grunts, 'bout as cordial as a plate of ice cream. ''Lo, Wixon,
+      that you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Um-hm,' begins Jonadab. 'How's that crowbait of yours to-day, Tobe? Got
+      any go in him? 'Cause if he has, I&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He stopped short. The woman in Loveland's carriage had turned her head
+      and was starin' hard.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Why!' she gasps. 'I do believe&mdash;Why, Jonadab!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'HETTIE!' says the Cap'n.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, after that 'twas pull up, of course, and shake hands and talk. The
+      widow, she done most of the talkin'. She was SO glad to see him. How had
+      he been all these years? She knew him instantly. He hadn't changed a mite&mdash;that
+      is, not so VERY much. She was plannin' to come over to the Old Home House
+      and stay a spell later on; but now she was havin' SUCH a good time in
+      Orham, Tobias&mdash;Mr. Loveland&mdash;was makin' it SO pleasant for her.
+      She did enjoy drivin' so much, and Mr. Loveland had the fastest horse in
+      the county&mdash;did we know that?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Tobias and Jonadab glowered back and forth while all this gush was bein'
+      turned loose, and hardly spoke to one another. But when 'twas over and we
+      was ready to start again, the Cap'n says, says he:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I'll be mighty glad to see you over to the hotel, when you're ready to
+      come, Hettie. I can take you ridin', too. Fur's horse goes, I've got a
+      pretty good one myself.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh!' squeals the widow. 'Really? Is that him? It's awful pretty, and he
+      looks fast.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'She is,' says Jonadab. 'There's nothin' round here can beat her.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Humph!' says Loveland. 'Git dap!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Git dap!' says Jonadab, agreein' with him for once.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Tobias started, and we started. Tobias makes his horse go a little
+      faster, and Jonadab speeded up some likewise. I see how 'twas goin' to be,
+      and therefore I wa'n't surprised to death when the next ten minutes found
+      us sizzlin' down that road, neck and neck with Loveland, dust flyin',
+      hoofs poundin', and the two drivers leanin' way for'ard over the dash,
+      reins gripped and teeth sot. For a little ways 'twas an even thing, and
+      then we commenced to pull ahead a little.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Loveland,' yells Jonadab, out of the port corner of his mouth, 'if I
+      ain't showin' you my tailboard by the time we pass the fust house in
+      Denboro, I'll eat my Sunday hat.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I cal'late he would 'a' beat, too. We was drawin' ahead all the time and
+      had a three-quarter length lead when we swung clear of the woods and
+      sighted Denboro village, quarter of a mile away. And up the road comes
+      flyin' a big auto, goin' to beat the cars.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Let's forget the next few minutes; they wa'n't pleasant ones for me.
+      Soon's the Bay Queen sot eyes on that auto, she stopped trottin' and
+      commenced to hop; from hoppin' she changed to waltzin' and high jumpin'.
+      When the smoke had cleared, the auto was out of sight and we was in the
+      bushes alongside the road, with the Queen just gettin' ready to climb a
+      tree. As for Tobias and Henrietta, they was roundin' the turn by the fust
+      house in Denboro, wavin' by-bys to us over the back of the seat.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We went home then; and every foot of the way Cap'n Jonadab called an
+      automobile a new kind of name, and none complimentary. The boarders, they
+      got wind of what had happened and begun to rag him, and the more they
+      ragged, the madder he got and the more down on autos.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And, to put a head on the whole business, I'm blessed if Tobias Loveland
+      didn't get in with an automobile agent who was stoppin' in Orham and buy a
+      fifteen-hundred-dollar machine off him. And the very next time Jonadab was
+      out with the Queen on the Denboro road, Tobias and the widow whizzed past
+      him in that car so fast he might as well have been hove to. And, by way of
+      rubbin' it in, they come along back pretty soon and rolled alongside of
+      him easy, while Henrietta gushed about Mr. Loveland's beautiful car and
+      how nice it was to be able to go just as swift as you wanted to. Jonadab
+      couldn't answer back, nuther, bein' too busy keepin' the Queen from
+      turnin' herself into a flyin' machine.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas then that he got himself swore in special constable to arrest auto
+      drivers for overspeedin'; and for days he wandered round layin' for a
+      chance to haul up Tobias and get him fined. He'd have had plenty of game
+      if he'd been satisfied with strangers, but he didn't want them anyhow,
+      and, besides, most of 'em was on their way to spend money at the Old Home
+      House. 'Twould have been poor business to let any of THAT cash go for
+      fines, and he realized it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas in early June, only a few weeks ago, that the widow come to our
+      hotel. I never thought she meant it when she said she was comin', and so I
+      didn't expect her. Fact is, I was expectin' to hear that she and Tobe
+      Loveland was married or engaged. But there was a slip up somewheres, for
+      all to once the depot wagon brings her to the Old Home House, she hires a
+      room, and settles down to stay till the season closed, which would be in
+      about a fortn't.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;From the very fust she played her cards for Jonadab. He meant to be
+      middlin' average frosty to her, I imagine&mdash;her bein' so thick with
+      Tobias prejudiced him, I presume likely. But land sakes! she thawed him
+      out like hot toddy thaws out some folks' tongues. She never took no notice
+      of his coldness, but smiled and gushed and flattered, and looked her
+      prettiest&mdash;which was more'n average, considerin' her age&mdash;and by
+      the end of the third day he was hangin' round her like a cat round a cook.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It commenced to look serious to me. Jonadab was a pretty old fish to be
+      caught with soft soap and a set of false crimps; but you can't never tell.
+      When them old kind do bite, they gen'rally swallow hook and sinker, and he
+      sartinly did act hungry. I wished more'n once that Peter T. Brown, our
+      business manager, was aboard to help me with advice, but Peter is off
+      tourin' the Yosemite with his wife and her relations, so whatever pilotin'
+      there was I had to do. And every day fetched Jonadab's bows nigher the
+      matrimonial rocks.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I'd about made up my mind to sound the fog horn by askin' him straight
+      out what he was cal'latin' to do; but somethin' I heard one evenin', as I
+      set alone in the hotel office, made me think I'd better wait a spell.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The office window was open and the curtain drawed down tight. I was
+      settin' inside, smokin' and goin' over the situation, when footsteps
+      sounded on the piazza and a couple come to anchor on the settee right by
+      that window. Cap'n Jonadab and Henrietta! I sensed that immediate.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She was laughin' and actin' kind of queer, and he was talkin' mighty
+      earnest.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, no, Cap'n! Oh, no!' she giggles. 'You mustn't be so serious on such
+      a beautiful night as this. Let's talk about the moon.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Drat the moon!' says Jonadab. 'Hettie, I&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, just see how beautiful the water looks! All shiny and&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Drat the water, too! Hettie, what's the reason you don't want to talk
+      serious with me? If that Tobe Loveland&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Really, I don't see why you bring Mr. Loveland's name into the
+      conversation. He is a perfect gentleman, generous and kind; and as for the
+      way in which he runs that lovely car of his&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The Cap'n interrupted her. He ripped out somethin' emphatic.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Generous!' he snarls. ''Bout as generous as a hog in the feed trough, he
+      is. And as for runnin' that pesky auto, if I'd demean myself to own one of
+      them things, I'll bet my other suit I could run it better'n he does. If I
+      couldn't, I'd tie myself to the anchor and jump overboard.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The way she answered showed pretty plain that she didn't believe him.
+      'Really?' she says. 'Do you think so? Good night, Jonadab.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I could hear her walkin' off acrost the piazza. He went after her.
+      'Hettie,' he says, 'you answer me one thing. Are you engaged to Tobe
+      Loveland?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She laughed again, sort of teasin' and slow. 'Really,' says she, 'you are&mdash;Why,
+      no, I'm not.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That was all, but it set me to thinkin' hard. She wa'n't engaged to
+      Loveland; she said so, herself. And yet, if she wanted Jonadab, she was
+      actin' mighty funny. I ain't had no experience, but it seemed to me that
+      then was the time to bag him and she'd put him off on purpose. She was
+      ages too ancient to be a flirt for the fun of it. What was her game?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0010" id="link2HCH0010">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER X
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      CAPTAIN JONADAB GOES
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Wingate stopped and roared a greeting to Captain Hiram Baker, who was
+      passing the open door of the waiting room.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hello, there, Hime!&rdquo; he shouted. &ldquo;Come up in here! What, are you too
+      proud to speak to common folks?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Hiram entered. &ldquo;Hello!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;You look like a busy gang, for
+      sure. What you doin'&mdash;seatin' chairs?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Just now we're automobilin',&rdquo; observed Captain Sol. &ldquo;Set down, Hiram.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Automobilin'?&rdquo; repeated the new arrival, evidently puzzled.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sartin. Barzilla's takin' us out. Go on, Barzilla.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Wingate smiled broadly. &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; he began, &ldquo;we HAVE just about reached
+      the part where I went autoin'. The widow and me and Jonadab.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Jonadab!&rdquo; shouted Stitt. &ldquo;I thought you said&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I know what I said. But we went auto ridin' just the same.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas Henry G. Bradbury that took us out, him and his bran-new big
+      tourin' car. You see, he landed to board with us the next day after
+      Henrietta come&mdash;this Henry G. did&mdash;and he was so quiet and easy
+      spoken and run his car so slow that even a pizen auto hater like Jonadab
+      couldn't take much offense at him. He wa'n't very well, he said, subject
+      to some kind of heart attacks, and had come to the Old Home for rest.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Him and the Cap'n had great arguments about the sins of automobilin'.
+      Jonadab was sot on the idee that nine folks out of ten hadn't machine
+      sense enough to run a car. Bradbury, he declared that that was a fact with
+      the majority of autos, but not with his. 'Why, a child could run it,' says
+      he. 'Look here, Cap'n: To start it you just do this. To stop it you do so
+      and so. To make her go slow you haul back on this lever. To make her go
+      faster you shove down this one. And as for steerin'&mdash;well, a man
+      that's handled the wheels of as many catboats as you have would simply
+      have a picnic. I'm in entire sympathy with your feelin's against speeders
+      and such&mdash;I'd be a constable if I was in your shoes&mdash;but this is
+      a gentleman's car and runs like one.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;All Jonadab said was 'Bosh!' and 'Humph!' but he couldn't help actin'
+      interested, particular as Mrs. Bassett kept him alongside of the machine
+      and was so turrible interested herself. And when, this partic'lar
+      afternoon, Henry G. invites us all to go out with him for a little 'roll
+      around,' the widow was so tickled and insisted so that he just HAD to go;
+      he didn't dast say no.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Somehow or 'nother&mdash;I ain't just sure yet how it happened&mdash;the
+      seatin' arrangements was made like this: Jonadab and Bradbury on the front
+      seat, and me and Henrietta in the stuffed cockpit astern. We rolled out
+      and purred along the road, smooth as a cat trottin' to dinner. No
+      speedin', no joltin', no nothin'. 'TWAS a 'gentleman's car'; there wa'n't
+      no doubt about that.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We went 'way over to Bayport and Orham and beyond. And all the time
+      Bradbury kept p'intin' out the diff'rent levers to Jonadab and tellin' him
+      how to work 'em. Finally, after we'd headed back, he asked Jonadab to take
+      the wheel and steer her a spell. Said his heart was feelin' sort of mean
+      and 'twould do him good to rest.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Jonadab said no, emphatic and more'n average ugly, but Henry G. kept
+      beggin' and pleadin', and pretty soon the widow put in her oar. He must do
+      it, to please her. He had SAID he could do it&mdash;had told her so&mdash;and
+      now he must make good. Why, when Mr. Loveland&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'All right,' snarls Jonadab. 'I'll try. But if ever&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hold on!' says I. 'Here's where I get out.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;However, they wouldn't let me, and the Cap'n took the wheel. His jaw was
+      set and his hands shakin', but he done it. Hettie had give her orders and
+      she was skipper.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;For a consider'ble spell we just crawled. Jonadab was steerin' less
+      crooked every minute and it tickled him; you could see that.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Answers her hellum tiptop, don't she?' he says.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Bet your life!' says Bradbury. 'Better put on a little more speed,
+      hadn't we?'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He put it on himself, afore the new pilot could stop him, and we commenced
+      to move.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'When you want to make her jump,' he says, you press down on that with
+      your foot, and you shove the spark back.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Shut up!' howls Jonadab. 'Belay! Don't you dast to touch that. I'm scart
+      to death as 'tis. Here! you take this wheel.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But he wouldn't, and we went on at a good clip. For a green hand the
+      Cap'n was leavin' a pretty straight wake.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Gosh!' he says, after a spell; 'I b'lieve I'm kind of gettin' the hang
+      of the craft.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Course you are,' says Bradbury. 'I told&mdash;Oh!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He straightens up, grabs at his vest, and slumps down against the back of
+      the seat.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What IS it?' screams the widow. 'Oh, what IS it, Mr. Bradbury?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He answers, plucky, but toler'ble faintlike. My heart!' he gasps. 'I&mdash;I'm
+      afraid I'm goin' to have one of my attacks. I must get to a doctor quick.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Doctor!' I sings out. 'Great land of love! there ain't a doctor nigher
+      than Denboro, and that's four mile astern.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Never mind,' cries the Bassett woman. 'We must go there, then. Turn
+      around, Jonadab! Turn around at once! Mr. Bradbury&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But poor Henry G. was curled up against the cushions and we couldn't get
+      nothin' out of him but groans. And all the time we was sailin' along up
+      the road.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Turn around, Jonadab!' orders Henrietta. 'Turn around and go for the
+      doctor!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Jonadab's hands was clutched on that wheel, and his face was white as his
+      rubber collar.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Jerushy!' he groans desperate, 'I&mdash;I don't know HOW to turn
+      around.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Then stop, you foolhead!' I bellers. 'Stop where you be!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And he moans&mdash;almost cryin' he was: 'I&mdash;I've forgotten how to
+      STOP.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Talk about your situations! If we wa'n't in one then I miss my guess.
+      Every minute we was sinkin' Denboro below the horizon.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'We MUST get to a doctor,' says the widow. 'Where is there another one,
+      Mr. Wingate?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'The next one's in Bayport,' says I, 'and that's ten mile ahead if it's a
+      foot.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;However, there wa'n't nothin' else for it, so toward Bayport we put.
+      Bradbury groaned once in a while, and Mrs. Bassett got nervous.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'We'll never get there at this rate,' says she. 'Go faster, Jonadab.
+      Faster! Press down on&mdash;on that thing he told you to. Please! for MY
+      sake.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Don't you&mdash;' I begun; but 'twas too late. He pressed, and away we
+      went. We was eatin' up the road now, I tell you, and though I was
+      expectin' every minute to be my next, I couldn't help admirin' the way the
+      Cap'n steered. And, as for him, he was gettin' more and more set up and
+      confident.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'She handles like a yacht, Barzilla,' he grunts, between his teeth. 'See
+      me put her around the next buoy ahead there. Hey! how's that?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The next 'buoy' was a curve in the road, and we went around it beautiful.
+      So with the next and the next and the next. Bayport wa'n't so very fur
+      ahead. All to once another dreadful thought struck me.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Look here!' I yells. 'How in time are we goin' to stop when we&mdash;OW!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The Bassett woman had pinched my arm somethin' savage. I looked at her,
+      and she was scowlin' and shakin' her head.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'S-sh-sh!' she whispers. 'Don't disturb him. He'll be frightened and&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Frightened! Good heavens to Betsy! I cal'late he won't be the only one
+      that's fri&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But she looked so ugly that I shut up prompt, though I done a heap of
+      thinkin'. On we went and, as we turned the next 'buoy,' there, ahead of
+      us, was another auto, somethin' like ours, with only one person in it, a
+      man, and goin' in the same direction we was, though not quite so fast.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then I WAS scart. 'Hi, Jonadab!' I sings out. 'Heave to! Come about!
+      Shorten sail! Do you want to run him down? Look OUT!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I might as well have saved my breath. Heavin' to and the rest of it
+      wa'n't included in our pilot's education. On we went, same as ever. I
+      don't know what might have happened if the widow hadn't kept her head. She
+      leaned over the for'ard rail of the after cockpit and squeezed a rubber
+      bag that was close to Jonadab's starboard arm. It was j'ined to the fog
+      whistle, I cal'late, 'cause from under our bows sounded a beller like a
+      bull afoul of a barb-wire fence.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The feller in t'other car turned his head and looked. Then he commenced
+      to sheer off to wind'ard so's to let us pass. But all the time he kept
+      lookin' back and starin' and, as we got nigher, and I could see him
+      plainer through the dust, he looked more and more familiar. 'Twas somebody
+      I knew.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then I heard a little grunt, or gasp, from Cap'n Jonadab. He was leanin'
+      for'ard over the wheel, starin' at the man in the other auto. The nigher
+      we got, the harder he stared; and the man in front was actin' similar in
+      regards to him. And, all to once, the head car stopped swingin' off to
+      wind'ard, turned back toward the middle of the road, and begun to go like
+      smoke. The next instant I felt our machine fairly jump beneath me. I
+      looked at Jonadab's foot. 'Twas pressed hard down on the speed lever.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You crazy loon!' I screeched. 'You&mdash;you&mdash;you&mdash;Stop it!
+      Take your foot off that! Do you want to&mdash;!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I was climbin' over the back of the front seat, my knee pretty nigh on
+      Bradbury's head. But, would you believe it, that Jonadab man let go of the
+      wheel with one hand&mdash;let GO of it, mind you&mdash;and give me a shove
+      that sent me backward in Henrietta Bassett's lap.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Barzilla!' he growled, between his teeth, 'you set where you be and keep
+      off the quarterdeck. I'm runnin' this craft. I'll beat that Loveland this
+      time or run him under, one or t'other!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;As sure as I'm alive this minute, the man in the front car was Tobias
+      Loveland!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And from then on&mdash;Don't talk! I dream about it nights and wake up
+      with my arms around the bedpost. I ain't real sure, but I kind of have an
+      idee that the bedpost business comes from the fact that I was huggin' the
+      widow some of the time. If I did, 'twa'n't knowin'ly, and she never
+      mentioned it afterwards. All I can swear to is clouds of dust, and horns
+      honkin', and telegraph poles lookin' like teeth in a comb, and Jonadab's
+      face set as the Day of Judgment.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He kept his foot down on the speed place as if 'twas glued. He shoved the
+      'spark'&mdash;whatever that is&mdash;'way back. Every once in a while he
+      yelled, yelled at the top of his lungs. What he yelled hadn't no sense to
+      it. Sometimes you'd think that he was drivin' a horse and next that he was
+      handlin' a schooner in a gale.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Git dap!' he'd whoop. 'Go it, you cripples! Keep her nose right in the
+      teeth of it! She's got the best of the water, so let her bile! Whe-E-E!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We didn't stop at Bayport. Our skipper had made other arrangements.
+      However, the way I figgered it, we was long past needin' a doctor, and you
+      can get an undertaker 'most anywhere. We went through the village like a
+      couple of shootin' stars, Tobias about a length ahead, his hat blowed off,
+      his hair&mdash;what little he's got&mdash;streamin' out behind, and that
+      blessed red buzz wagon of his fairly skimmin' the hummocks and jumpin' the
+      smooth places. And right astern of him comes Jonadab, hangin' to the
+      wheel, HIS hat gone, his mouth open, and fillin' the dust with yells and
+      coughs.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You could see folks runnin' to doors and front gates; but you never saw
+      'em reach where they was goin'&mdash;time they done that we was somewheres
+      round the next bend. A pullet run over us once&mdash;yes, I mean just
+      that. She clawed the top of the widow's bunnit as we slid underneath her,
+      and by the time she lit we was so fur away she wa'n't visible to the naked
+      eye. Bradbury&mdash;who'd got better remarkable sudden&mdash;was pawin' at
+      Jonadab's arm, tryin' to make him ease up; but he might as well have pawed
+      the wind. As for Henrietta Bassett, she was acrost the back of the front
+      seat tootin' the horn for all she was wuth. And curled down in a heap on
+      the cockpit floor was a fleshy, sea-farin' person by the name of Barzilla
+      Wingate, sufferin' from chills and fever.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I think 'twas on the long stretch of the Trumet road that we beat Tobias.
+      I know we passed somethin' then, though just what I ain't competent to
+      testify. All I'm sure of is that, t'other side of Bayport village, the
+      landscape got some less streaked and you could most gen'rally separate one
+      house from the next.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Bradbury looked at Henrietta and smiled, a sort of sickly smile. She was
+      pretty pale, but she managed to smile back. I got up off the floor and
+      slumped on the cushions. As for Cap'n Jonadab Wixon, he'd stopped yellin',
+      but his face was one broad, serene grin. His mouth, through the dust and
+      the dirt caked around it, looked like a rain gully in a sand-bank. And,
+      occasional, he crowed, hoarse but vainglorious.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Did you see me?' he barked. 'Did you notice me lick him? He'll laugh at
+      me, will he?&mdash;him and his one-horse tin cart! Ho! HO! Why, you'd
+      think he was settin' down to rest! I've got him where I want him now! Ho,
+      ho! Say, Henrietta, did you go swift as you&mdash;? Land sakes! Mr.
+      Bradbury, I forgot all about you. And I&mdash;I guess we must have got a
+      good ways past the doctor's place.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Bradbury said never mind. He felt much better, and he cal'lated he'd do
+      till we fetched the Old Home dock. He'd take the wheel, now, he guessed.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But, would you b'lieve it, that fool Jonadab wouldn't let him! He was
+      used to the ship now, he said, and, if 'twas all the same to Henry G. and
+      Hettie, he'd kind of like to run her into port.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'She answers her hellum fine,' he says. 'After a little practice I
+      cal'late I could steer&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Steer!' sings out Bradbury. 'STEER! Great Caesar's ghost! I give you my
+      word, Cap'n Wixon, I never saw such handlin' of a machine as you did goin'
+      through Bayport, in my life. You're a wonder!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Um-hm,' says Jonadab contented. 'I've steered a good many vessels in my
+      time, through traffic and amongst the shoals, and never run afoul of
+      nothin' yet. I don't see much diff'rence on shore&mdash;'cept that it's a
+      little easier.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;EASIER! Wouldn't that&mdash;Well, what's the use of talkin'?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We got to the Old Home House safe and sound; Jonadab, actin' under
+      Bradbury's orders, run her into the yard, slowin' up and stoppin' at the
+      front steps slick as grease. He got out, his chest swelled up like a
+      puffin' pig, and went struttin' in to tell everybody what he'd done to
+      Loveland. I don't know where Bradbury and the widow went. As for me, I
+      went aloft and turned in. And 'twas two days and nights afore I got up
+      again. I had a cold, anyway, and what I'd been through didn't help it
+      none.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The afternoon of the second day, Bradbury come up to see me. He was
+      dressed in his city clothes and looked as if he was goin' away. Sure
+      enough, he was; goin' on the next train.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Where's Jonadab?' says I.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, he's out in his car,' he says. 'Huntin' for Loveland again, maybe.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'HIS car? You mean yours.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No, I mean his. I sold my car to him yesterday mornin' for twenty-five
+      hundred dollars cash.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I set up in bed. 'Go 'long!' I sings out. 'You didn't nuther!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes, I did. Sure thing. After that ride, you couldn't have separated him
+      from that machine with blastin' powder. He paid over the money like a
+      little man.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I laid down again. Jonadab Wixon payin' twenty-five hundred dollars for a
+      plaything! Not promisin', but actually PAYIN' it!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Has&mdash;has the widow gone with him?' I asked, soon's I could get my
+      breath.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He laughed sort of queer. 'No,' he says, 'she's gone out of town for a
+      few days. Ha, ha! Well, between you and me, Wingate, I doubt if she comes
+      back again. She and I have made all we're likely to in this neighborhood,
+      and she's too good a business woman to waste her time. Good-by; glad to
+      have met you.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But I smelt rat strong and wouldn't let him go without seein' the
+      critter.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hold on!' I says. 'There's somethin' underneath all this. Out with it. I
+      won't let on to the Cap'n if you don't want me to.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Well,' says he, laughin' again, 'Mrs. Bassett WON'T come back and I know
+      it. She and I have sold four cars on the Cape in the last five weeks, and
+      the profits'll more'n pay vacation expenses. Two up in Wareham, one over
+      in Orham, to Loveland&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Did YOU sell Tobias his?' I asks, settin' up again.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hettie and I did&mdash;yes. Soon's we landed him, we come over to bag
+      old Wixon. I thought one time he'd kill us before we got him, but he
+      didn't. How he did run that thing! He's a game sport.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'See here!' says I. 'YOU and Hettie sold&mdash;What do you mean by that?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Mrs. Bassett is my backer in the auto business,' says he. 'She put in
+      her money and I furnished the experience. We've got a big plant up in&mdash;'
+      namin' a city in Connecticut.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I fetched a long breath. 'WELL!' says I. 'And all this makin' eyes at
+      Tobe and Jonadab was just&mdash;just&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Just bait, that's all,' says he. 'I told you she was a good business
+      woman.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I let this sink in good. Then says I, 'Humph! I swan to man! And how's
+      your heart actin' now?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Fine!' he says, winkin'. 'I had that attack so's the Cap'n would learn
+      to run on his own hook. I didn't expect quite so much of a run, but I'm
+      satisfied. Don't you worry about my heart disease. That twenty-five
+      hundred cured it. 'Twas all in the way of business,' says Henry G.
+      Bradbury.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Whew!&rdquo; whistled Captain Hiram as Barzilla reached into his pocket for
+      pipe and tobacco. &ldquo;Whew! I should say your partner had a narrer escape.
+      Want to look out sharp for widders. They're dangerous, hey, Sol?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The depot master did not answer. Captain Hiram asked another question.
+      &ldquo;How'd Jonadab take Hettie's leavin'?&rdquo; he inquired.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Oh,&rdquo; said Barzilla, &ldquo;I don't think he minded so much. He was too crazy
+      about his new auto to care for anything else. Then, too, he was b'ilin'
+      mad 'cause Loveland swore out a warrant against him for speedin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Nice trick, ain't it?' he says. 'I knew Tobe was a poor loser, but I
+      didn't think he'd be so low down as all that. Says I was goin' fifty mile
+      an hour. He! he! Well, I WAS movin', that's a fact. I don't care. 'Twas
+      wuth the twenty-dollar fine.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Maybe so,' I says, 'but 'twon't look very pretty to have a special auto
+      constable hauled up and fined for breakin' the law he's s'posed to
+      protect.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He hadn't thought of that. His face clouded over.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No use, Barzilla,' says he; 'I'll have to give it up.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Guess you will,' says I. 'Automobilin' is&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I don't mean automobilin',' he snorts disgusted. 'Course not! I mean
+      bein' constable.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So there you are! From cussin' automobiles he's got so that he can't talk
+      enough good about 'em. And every day sence then he's out on the road
+      layin' for another chance at Tobias. I hope he gets that chance pretty
+      soon, because&mdash;well, there's a rumor goin' round that Loveland is
+      plannin' to swap his car for a bigger and faster one. If he does . . .&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;If he does,&rdquo; interrupted Captain Sol, &ldquo;I hope you'll fix the next race
+      for over here. I'd like to see you go by, Barzilla.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Guess you'd have to look quick to see him,&rdquo; laughed Stitt. &ldquo;Speakin'
+      about automobiles&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;By gum!&rdquo; ejaculated Wingate, &ldquo;you'd have to look somewheres else to find
+      ME. I've got all the auto racin' I want!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Speakin' of automobiles,&rdquo; began Captain Bailey again. No one paid the
+      slightest attention.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;How's Dusenberry, your baby, Hiram?&rdquo; asked the depot master, turning to
+      Captain Baker. &ldquo;His birthday's the Fourth, and that's only a couple of
+      days off.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The proud parent grinned, then looked troubled.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Why, he ain't real fust-rate,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Seems to be some under the
+      weather. Got a cold and kind of sore throat. Dr. Parker says he cal'lates
+      it's a touch of tonsilitis. There's consider'ble fever, too. I was hopin'
+      the doctor'd come again to-day, but he's gone away on a fishin' cruise.
+      Won't be home till late to-morrer. I s'pose me and Sophrony hadn't ought
+      to worry. Dr. Parker seems to know about the case.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Humph!&rdquo; grunted the depot master, &ldquo;there's only two bein's in creation
+      that know it all. One's the Almighty and t'other's young Parker. He's
+      right out of medical school and is just as fresh as his diploma. He hadn't
+      any business to go fishin' and leave his patients. We lost a good man when
+      old Dr. Ryder died. He . . . Oh, well! you mustn't worry, Hiram.
+      Dusenberry'll pull out in time for his birthday. Goin' to celebrate, was
+      you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Baker nodded. &ldquo;Um-hm,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Sophrony's goin' to bake a
+      frosted cake and stick three candles on it&mdash;he's three year old, you
+      know&mdash;and I've made him a 'twuly boat with sails,' that's what he's
+      been beggin' for. Ho! ho! he's the cutest little shaver!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Speakin' of automobiles,&rdquo; began Bailey Stitt for the third time.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That youngster of yours, Hiram,&rdquo; went on the depot master, &ldquo;is the right
+      kind. Compared with some of the summer young ones that strike this depot,
+      he's a saint.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Hiram grinned. &ldquo;That's what I tell Sophrony,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Sometimes
+      when Dusenberry gets to cuttin' up and she is sort of provoked, I say to
+      her, 'Old lady,' I say, 'if you think THAT'S a naughty boy, you ought to
+      have seen Archibald.'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Who was Archibald?&rdquo; asked Barzilla.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He was a young rip that Sim Phinney and I run across four years ago when
+      we went on our New York cruise together. The weir business had been pretty
+      good and Sim had been teasin' me to go on a vacation with him, so I went.
+      Sim ain't stopped talkin' about our experiences yet. Ho! ho!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You bet he ain't!&rdquo; laughed the depot master. &ldquo;One mix-up you had with a
+      priest, and a love story, and land knows what. He talks about that to this
+      day.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What was it? He never told me,&rdquo; said Wingate.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Why, it begun at the Golconda House, the hotel where Sim and I was
+      stayin'. We&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Did YOU put up at the Golconda?&rdquo; interrupted Barzilla. &ldquo;Why, Cap'n
+      Jonadab and me stayed there when we went to New York.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I know you did. Jonadab recommended it to Sim, and Sim took the
+      recommendation. That Golconda House is the only grudge I've got against
+      Jonadab Wixon. It sartin is a tough old tavern.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I give in to that. Jonadab's so sot on it account of havin' stopped there
+      on his honeymoon, years and years ago. He's too stubborn to own it's bad.
+      It's a matter of principle with him, and he's sot on principle.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; continued Baker. &ldquo;Well, Sim and me had been at that Golconda three
+      days and nights. Mornin' of the fourth day we walked out of the dinin'
+      room after breakfast, feelin' pretty average chipper. Gettin' safe past
+      another meal at that hotel was enough of itself to make a chap grateful.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We walked out of the dinin' room and into the office. And there, by the
+      clerk's desk, was a big, tall man, dressed up in clothes that was loud
+      enough to speak for themselves, and with a shiny new tall hat, set with a
+      list to port, on his head. He was smooth-faced and pug-nosed, with an
+      upper lip like a camel's.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He didn't pay much attention to us, nor to anybody else, for the matter
+      of that. He was as mournful as a hearse, for all his joyful togs.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Fine day, ain't it?' says Sim, social.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The tall chap looked up at him from under the deck of the beaver hat.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Huh!' he growls out, and looks down again.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I say it's a fine day,' said Phinney again.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I was after hearin' yez say it,' says the man, and walks off, scowlin'
+      like a meat ax. We looked after him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Who was that murderer?' asks Sim of the clerk. 'And when are they going
+      to hang him?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'S-sh-sh!' whispers the clerk, scart. ''Tis the boss. The bloke what runs
+      the hotel. He's a fine man, but he has troubles. He's blue.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'So that's the boss, hey?' says I. 'And he's blue. Well, he looks it.
+      What's troublin' him? Ain't business good?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Never better. It ain't that. He has things on his mind. You see&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I cal'late he'd have told us the yarn, only Sim wouldn't wait to hear it.
+      We was goin' sight-seein' and we had 'aquarium' and 'Stock Exchange' on
+      the list for that afternoon. The hotel clerk had made out a kind of
+      schedule for us of things we'd ought to see while we was in New York, and
+      so fur we'd took in the zoological menagerie and the picture museum, and
+      Central Park and Brooklyn Bridge.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;On the way downtown in the elevated railroad Sim done some preachin'. His
+      text was took from the Golconda House sign, which had 'T. Dempsey,
+      Proprietor,' painted on it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'It's that Dempsey man's conscience that makes him so blue, Hiram,' says
+      Sim. 'It's the way he makes his money. He sells liquor.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh!' says I. 'Is THAT it? I thought maybe he'd been sleepin' on one of
+      his own hotel beds. THEY'RE enough to make any man blue&mdash;black and
+      blue.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The 'aquarium' wa'n't a success. Phinney was disgusted. He give one look
+      around, grabbed me by the arm, and marched me out of that building same as
+      Deacon Titcomb, of the Holiness Church at Denboro, marched his boy out of
+      the Universalist sociable.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'It's nothin' but a whole passel of fish,' he snorts. 'The idea of
+      sendin' two Cape Codders a couple of miles to look at FISH. I've looked at
+      'em and fished for 'em, and et 'em all the days of my life,' he says, 'and
+      when I'm on a vacation I want a change. I'd forgot that &ldquo;aquarium&rdquo; meant
+      fish, or you wouldn't have got me within smellin' distance of it.
+      Necessity's one thing and pleasure's another, as the boy said about takin'
+      his ma's spring bitters.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So we headed for the Stock Exchange. We got our gallery tickets at the
+      bank where the Golconda folks kept money, and in a little while we was
+      leanin' over a kind of marble bulwarks and starin' down at a gang of men
+      smokin' and foolin' and carryin' on. 'Twas a dull day, so we found out
+      afterward, and I guess likely that was true. Anyway, I never see such
+      grown-up men act so much like children. There was a lot of poles stuck up
+      around with signs on 'em, and around every pole was a circle of bedlamites
+      hollerin' like loons. Hollerin' was the nighest to work of anything I see
+      them fellers do, unless 'twas tearin' up papers and shovin' the pieces
+      down somebody's neck or throwin' 'em in the air like a play-actin'
+      snowstorm.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What's the matter with 'em?' says I. 'High finance taken away their
+      brains?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But Phinney was awful interested. He dumped some money in a mine once.
+      The mine caved in on it, I guess, for not a red cent ever come to the top
+      again, but he's been a kind of prophet concernin' finances ever sence.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I want to see the big fellers,' says he. 'S'pose that fat one is
+      Morgan?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I don't know,' says I. 'Me and Pierpont ain't met for ever so long.
+      Don't lean over and point so; you're makin' a hit.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He was, too. Some of the younger crew on the floor was lookin' up and
+      grinnin', and more kept stoppin' and joinin' in all the time. I cal'late
+      we looked kind of green and soft, hangin' over that marble rail, like
+      posies on a tombstone; and green is the favorite color to a stockbroker,
+      they tell me. Anyhow, we had a good-sized congregation under us in less
+      than no time. Likewise, they got chatty, and commenced to unload remarks.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Land sakes!' says one. 'How's punkins?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'How's crops down your way?' says another.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Now there wa'n't nothin' real bright and funny about these questions&mdash;more
+      fresh than new, they struck me&mdash;but you'd think they was gems from
+      the comic almanac, jedgin' by the haw-haws. Next minute a little
+      bald-headed smart Alec, with clothes that had a tailor's sign hull down
+      and out of the race, steps to the front and commences to make a speech.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Gosh t'mighty, gents,' says he. 'With your kind permission, I'll sing
+      &ldquo;When Reuben Comes to Town.&rdquo;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And he did sing it, too, in a voice that needed cultivatin' worse'n a
+      sandy front yard. And with every verse the congregation whooped and
+      laughed and cheered. When the anthem was concluded, all hands set up a
+      yell and looked at us to see how we took it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;As for me, I was b'ilin' mad and mortified and redhot all over. But Sim
+      Phinney was as cool as an October evenin'. Once in a while old Sim comes
+      out right down brilliant, and he done it now. He smiled, kind of tolerant
+      and easy, same as you might at the tricks of a hand-organ monkey. Then he
+      claps his hands, applaudin' like, reaches into his pocket, brings up a
+      couple of pennies, and tosses 'em down to little baldhead, who was
+      standin' there blown up with pride.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;For a minute the crowd was still. And THEN such a yell as went up! The
+      whole floor went wild. Next thing I knew the gallery was filled with
+      brokers, grabbin' us by the hands, poundin' us on the back, beggin' us to
+      come have a drink, and generally goin' crazy. We was solid with the
+      'system' for once in our lives. We could have had that whole buildin',
+      from marble decks to gold maintruck, if we'd said the word. Fifty yellin'
+      lunatics was on hand to give it to us; the other two hundred was joyfully
+      mutilatin' the baldhead.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, I wanted to get away, and so did Sim, I guess; but the crowd
+      wouldn't let us. We'd got to have a drink; hogsheads of drinks. That was
+      the best joke on Eddie Lewisburg that ever was. Come on! We MUST come on!
+      Whee! Wow!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I don't know how it would have ended if some one hadn't butted head first
+      through the mob and grabbed me by the shoulder. I was ready to fight by
+      this time, and maybe I'd have begun to fight if the chap who grabbed me
+      hadn't been a few inches short of seven foot high. And, besides that, I
+      knew him. 'Twas Sam Holden, a young feller I knew when he boarded here one
+      summer. His wife boarded here, too, only she wa'n't his wife then. Her
+      name was Grace Hargrave and she was a fine girl. Maybe you remember 'em,
+      Sol?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The depot master nodded.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I remember 'em well,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Liked 'em both&mdash;everybody did.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes. Well, he knew us and was glad to see us.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'It IS you!' he sings out. 'By George! I thought it was when I came on
+      the floor just now. My! but I'm glad to see you. And Mr. Phinney, too!
+      Bully! Clear out and let 'em alone, you Indians.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The crowd didn't want to let us alone, but Sam got us clear somehow, and
+      out of the Exchange Buildin' and into the back room of a kind of
+      restaurant. Then he gets chairs for us, orders cigars, and shakes hands
+      once more.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'To think of seein' you two in New York!' he says, wonderin'. 'What are
+      you doin' here? When did you come? Tell us about it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So we told him about our pleasure cruise, and what had happened to us so
+      fur. It seemed to tickle him 'most to death.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Grace and I are keepin' house, in a modest way, uptown,' says Sam, 'and
+      she'll be as glad to see you as I am. You're comin' up to dinner with me
+      to-night, and you're goin' to make us a visit, you know,' he says.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, if we didn't know it then, we learned it right away. Nothin' that
+      me or Simeon could say would make him change the course a point. So
+      Phinney went up to the Golconda House and got our bags, and at half-past
+      four that afternoon the three of us was in a hired hack bound uptown.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;On the way Sam was full of fun as ever. He laughed and joked, and asked
+      questions about East Harniss till you couldn't rest. All of a sudden he
+      slaps his knee and sings out:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'There! I knew I'd forgotten somethin'. Our butler left yesterday, and I
+      was to call at the intelligence office on my way home and see if they'd
+      scared up a new one.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I looked at Simeon, and he at me.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hum!' says I, thinkin' about that 'modest' housekeepin'. 'Do you keep a
+      butler?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Not long,' says he, dry as a salt codfish. And that's all we could get
+      out of him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I s'pose there's different kinds of modesty. We hadn't more'n got inside
+      the gold-plated front door of that house when I decided that the Holden
+      brand of housekeepin' wa'n't bashful enough to blush. If I'D been runnin'
+      that kind of a place, the only time I'd felt shy and retirin' was when the
+      landlord came for the rent.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;One of the fo'mast hands&mdash;hired girls, I mean&mdash;went aloft to
+      fetch Mrs. Holden, and when Grace came down she was just as nice and
+      folksy and glad to see us as a body could be. But she looked sort of
+      troubled, just the same.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I'm ever so glad you're here,' says she to me and Simeon. 'But, oh, Sam!
+      it's a shame the way things happen. Cousin Harriet and Archie came this
+      afternoon to stay until to-morrow. They're on their way South. And I have
+      promised that you and I shall take Harriet to see Marlowe to-night. Of
+      course we won't do it now, under any consideration, but you know what she
+      is.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sam seemed to know. He muttered somethin' that sounded like a Scripture
+      text. Simeon spoke up prompt.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Indeed you will,' says he, decided. 'Me and Hiram ain't that kind. We've
+      got relations of our own, and we know what it means when they come
+      a-visitin'. You and Mr. Holden'll take your comp'ny and go to see&mdash;whatever
+      'tis you want to see, and we'll make ourselves to home till you get back.
+      Yes, you will, or we clear out this minute.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;They didn't want to, but we was sot, and so they give in finally. It
+      seemed that this Cousin Harriet was a widow relation of the Holdens, who
+      lived in a swell country house over in Connecticut somewhere, and was rich
+      as the rest of the tribe. Archie was her son. 'Hers and the Evil One's,'
+      Sam said.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We didn't realize how much truth there was in this last part until we run
+      afoul of Archie and his ma at dinner time. Cousin Harriet was tall and
+      middlin' slim, thirty-five years old, maybe, at a sale for taxes, but
+      discounted to twenty at her own valuation. She was got up regardless, and
+      had a kind of chronic, tired way of talkin', and a condescendin' look to
+      her, as if she was on top of Bunker Hill monument, and all creation was on
+      its knees down below. She didn't warm up to Simeon and me much; eyed us
+      over through a pair of gilt spyglasses, and admitted that she was
+      'charmed, I'm sure.' Likewise, she was afflicted with 'nerves,' which must
+      be a divil of a disease&mdash;for everybody but the patient, especial.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Archie&mdash;his ma hailed him as 'Archibald, dear'&mdash;showed up
+      pretty soon in tow of his 'maid,' a sweet-faced, tired-out Irish girl
+      named Margaret. 'Archibald, dear,' was five years old or so, sufferin'
+      from curls and the lack of a lickin'. I never see a young one that needed
+      a strap ile more.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'How d'ye do Archie?' says Simeon, holdin' out his hand.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Archie didn't take the hand. Instead of that he points at Phinney and
+      commences to laugh.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Ho, ho!' says he, dancin' and pointin'. 'Look at the funny whiskers.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sim wa'n't expectin' that, and it set him all aback, like he'd run into a
+      head squall. He took hold of his beard and looked foolish. Sam and Grace
+      looked ashamed and mad. Cousin Harriet laughed one of her lazy laughs.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Archibald, de-ar,' she drawls, 'you mustn't speak that way. Now be nice,
+      and play with Margaret durin' dinner, that's a good boy.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I won't,' remarks Archie, cheerful. 'I'm goin' to dine with you, mama.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, no, you're not, dear. You'll have your own little table, and&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then 'twas' Hi, yi!' 'Bow, wow!' Archibald wa'n't hankerin' for little
+      tables. He was goin' to eat with us, that's what. His ma, she argued with
+      him and pleaded, and he yelled and stamped and hurrahed. When Margaret
+      tried to soothe him he went at her like a wild-cat, and kicked and pounded
+      her sinful. She tried to take him out of the room, and then Cousin Harriet
+      come down on her like a scow load of brick.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Haven't I told you,' says she, sharp and vinegary, 'not to oppose the
+      child in that way? Archibald has such a sensitive nature,' she says to
+      Grace, 'that opposition arouses him just as it did me at his age. Very
+      well, dear; you MAY dine with us to-night, if you wish. Oh, my poor
+      nerves! Margaret, why don't you place a chair for Master Archibald? The
+      creature is absolutely stupid at times,' she says, talkin' about that poor
+      maid afore her face with no more thought for her feelin's than if she was
+      a wooden image. 'She has no tact whatever. I wouldn't have Archibald's
+      spirit broken for anything.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas his neck that needed breakin' if you asked ME. That was a joyful
+      meal, now I tell you.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There was more joy when 'twas over. Archie didn't want to go to bed,
+      havin' desires to set up and torment Simeon with questions about his
+      whiskers; askin' if they growed or was tied on, and things like that.
+      Course he didn't know his ma was goin' to the show, or he wouldn't have
+      let her. But finally he was coaxed upstairs by Margaret and a box of
+      candy, and, word havin' been sent down that he was asleep, Sam got out his
+      plug hat, and Grace and Cousin Harriet got on their fur-lined dolmans and
+      knit clouds, and was ready for the hack.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I feel mighty mean to go off and leave you this way,' says Sam to me and
+      Simeon. 'But you make yourself at home, won't you? This is your house
+      to-night, you know; servants and all.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'How about that boy's wakin' up?' says I.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, his maid'll attend to him. If she needs any help you can give it to
+      her,' he says, winkin' on the side.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But Cousin Harriet was right at his starboard beam, and she heard him.
+      She flew up like a settin' hen.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Indeed they will NOT!' she sings out. 'If anyone but Margaret was to
+      attempt to control Archibald, I don't dare think what might happen. I
+      shall not stir from this spot until these persons promise not to interfere
+      in ANY way; Archibald, dear, is such a sensitive child.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So we promised not to interfere, although Sim Phinney looked disappointed
+      when he done it. I could see that he'd had hopes afore he give that
+      promise.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0011" id="link2HCH0011">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER XI
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      IN THE GREAT METROPOLIS
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So they left you and Sim Phinney to keep house, did they, Hiram?&rdquo;
+       observed Wingate.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;They did. And, for a spell, we figgered on bein' free from too much
+      style.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;After they'd gone we loafed into the settin' room or libr'ry, or whatever
+      you call it, and come to anchor in a couple of big lazy chairs.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Now,' says I, takin' off my coat, 'we can be comf'table.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But we couldn't. In bobs a servant girl to know if we 'wanted anything.'
+      We didn't, but she looked so shocked when she see me in my shirt sleeves
+      that I put the coat on again, feelin' as if I'd ought to blush. And in a
+      minute back she comes to find out if we was SURE we didn't want anything.
+      Sim was hitchin' in his chair. Between 'nerves' and Archibald, his temper
+      was raw on the edges.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Say,' he bursts out, 'you look kind of pale to me. What you need is
+      fresh air. Why don't you go take a walk?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The girl looked at him with her mouth open.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh,' says she, 'I couldn't do that, thank you, sir. That would leave no
+      one but the cook and the kitchen girl. And the master said you was to be
+      made perfectly comf'table, and&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes,' says Sim, dry, 'I heard him say it. And we can't be comf'table
+      with you shut up in the house this nice evenin'. Go and take a walk, and
+      take the cook and stewardess with you. Don't argue about it. I'm skipper
+      here till the boss gets back. Go, the three of you, and go NOW. D'ye
+      hear?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There was a little more talk, but not much. In five minutes or so the
+      downstairs front door banged, and there was gigglin' outside.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'There,' says Simeon, peelin' off HIS coat and throwin' himself back in
+      one chair with his feet on another one. 'Now, by Judas, I'm goin' to be
+      homey and happy like poor folks. I don't wonder that Harriet woman's got
+      nerves. Darn style, anyhow! Pass over that cigar box, Hiram.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas half an hour later or so when Margaret, the nursemaid, came
+      downstairs. I'd almost forgot her. We was tame and toler'ble contented by
+      that time. Phinney called to her as she went by the door.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Is that young one asleep?' he asked.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes, sir,' says she, 'he is. Is there anything I can do? Did you want
+      anything?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Simeon looks at me. 'I swan to man, it's catchin'!' he says. 'They've all
+      got it. No, we don't want anything, except&mdash;What's the matter? YOU
+      don't need fresh air, do you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The girl looked as if she'd lost her last friend. Her pretty face was
+      pale and her eyes was wet, as if she'd been cryin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No, sir,' says she, puzzled. 'No, sir, thank you, sir.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'She's tired out, that's all,' says I. I swan, I pitied the poor thing.
+      'You go somewheres and take a nap,' I told her. 'Me and my friend won't
+      tell.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Oh, no, she couldn't do that. It wa'n't that she was tired&mdash;no more
+      tired than usual&mdash;but she'd been that troubled in her mind lately,
+      askin' our pardon, that she was near to crazy.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We was sorry for that, but it didn't seem to be none of our business, and
+      she was turnin' away, when all at once she stops and turns back again.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Might I ask you gintlemen a question?' she says, sort of pleadin'. 'Sure
+      I mane no harm by it. Do aither of you know a man be the name of Michael
+      O'Shaughnessy?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Me and Sim looked at each other. 'Which?' says I. 'Mike O' who?' says
+      Simeon.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Aw, don't you know him?' she begs. 'DON'T you know him? Sure I hoped you
+      might. If you'd only tell me where he is I'd git on me knees and pray for
+      you. O Mike, Mike! why did you leave me like this? What'll become of me?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And she walks off down the hall, coverin' her face with her hands and
+      cryin' as if her heart was broke.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'There! there!' says Simeon, runnin' after her, all shook up. He's a
+      kind-hearted man&mdash;especially to nice-lookin' females. 'Don't act so,'
+      he says. 'Be a good girl. Come right back into the settin' room and tell
+      me all about it. Me and Cap'n Baker ain't got nerves, and we ain't rich,
+      neither. You can talk to us. Come, come!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She didn't know how to act, seemingly. She was like a dog that's been
+      kicked so often he's suspicious of a pat on the head. And she was cryin'
+      and sobbin' so, and askin' our pardon for doin' it, that it took a good
+      while to get at the real yarn. But we did get it, after a spell.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It seems that the girl&mdash;her whole name was Margaret Sullivan&mdash;had
+      been in this country but a month or so, havin' come from Ireland in a
+      steamboat to meet the feller who'd kept comp'ny with her over there. His
+      name was Michael O'Shaughnessy, and he'd been in America for four years or
+      more, livin' with a cousin in Long Island City. And he'd got a good job at
+      last, and he sent for her to come on and be married to him. And when she
+      landed 'twas the cousin that met her. Mike had drawn a
+      five-thousand-dollar prize in the Mexican lottery a week afore, and hadn't
+      been seen sence.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So poor Margaret goes to the cousin's to stay. And she found them poor as
+      Job's pet chicken, and havin' hardly grub enough aboard to feed the dozen
+      or so little cousins, let alone free boarders like her. And so, havin' no
+      money, she goes out one day to an intelligence office where they deal in
+      help, and puts in a blank askin' for a job as servant girl. 'Twas a swell
+      place, where bigbugs done their tradin', and there she runs into Cousin
+      Harriet, who was a chronic customer, always out of servants, owin' to the
+      complications of Archibald and nerves. And Harriet hires her, because she
+      was pretty and would work for a shavin' more'n nothin', and carts her
+      right off to Connecticut. And when Margaret sets out to write for her
+      trunk, and to tell where she is, she finds she's lost the cousin's
+      address, and can't remember whether it's Umpty-eighth Street or Tin Can
+      Avenue.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'And, oh,' says she, 'what SHALL I do? The mistress is that hard to
+      please, and the child is that wicked till I want to die. And I have no
+      money and no friends. O Mike! Mike!' she says. 'If you only knew you'd
+      come to me. For it's a good heart he has, although the five thousand
+      dollars carried away his head,' says she.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I don't believe I ever wanted to make a feller's acquaintance more than I
+      done that O'Shaughnessy man's. The mean blackguard, to leave his girl that
+      way. And 'twas easy to see what she'd been through with Cousin Harriet and
+      that brat. We tried to comfort her all we could; promised to have a hunt
+      through Long Island and the directory, and to help get her another place
+      when she got back from the South, and so on. But 'twas kind of
+      unsatisfactory. 'Twas her Mike she wanted.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I told the Father about it at the church up there,' she says, 'and he
+      wrote, but the letters was lost, I guess. And I thought if I might see a
+      priest here in New York he might help me. But the mistress is to go at
+      noon to-morrer, and I'll have no time. What SHALL I do?' says she, and
+      commenced to cry again.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then I had an idea. 'Priest?' says I. 'There's a fine big church, with a
+      cross on the ridgepole of it, not five minutes' walk from this house. I
+      see it as we was comin' up. Why don't you run down there this minute?' I
+      says.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No, she didn't want to leave Archibald. Suppose he should wake up.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'All right,' says I. 'Then I'll go myself. And I'll fetch a priest up
+      here if I have to tote him on my back, like the feller does the codfish in
+      the advertisin' picture.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I didn't have to tote him. He lived in a mighty fine house, hitched onto
+      the church, and there was half a dozen assistant parsons to help him do
+      his preachin'. But he was big and fat and gray-haired and as jolly and as
+      kind-hearted a feller as you'd want to meet. He said he'd come right
+      along; and he done it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Phinney opened the door for us. 'What's the row?' says I, lookin' at his
+      face.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Row?' he snorts; 'there's row enough for six. That da&mdash;excuse me,
+      mister&mdash;that cussed Archibald has woke up.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He had; there wa'n't no doubt about it. And he was raisin' hob, too. The
+      candy, mixed up with the dinner, had put his works in line with his
+      disposition, and he was poundin' and yellin' upstairs enough to wake the
+      dead. Margaret leaned over the balusters.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Is it the Father?' she says. 'Oh, dear! what'll I do?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Send some of the other servants to the boy,' says the priest, 'and come
+      down yourself.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Simeon, lookin' kind of foolish, explained what had become of the other
+      servants. Father McGrath&mdash;that was his name&mdash;laughed and shook
+      all over.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Very well,' says he. 'Then bring the young man down. Perhaps he'll be
+      quiet here.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So pretty soon down come Margaret with Archibald, full of the Old
+      Scratch, as usual, dressed up gay in a kind of red blanket nighty, with a
+      rope around the middle of it. The young one spotted Simeon, and set up a
+      whoop.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh! there's the funny whiskers,' he sings out.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Good evenin', my son,' says the priest.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Who's the fat man?' remarks Archibald, sociable. 'I never saw such a red
+      fat man. What makes him so red and fat?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;These questions didn't make Father McGrath any paler. He laughed, of
+      course, but not as if 'twas the funniest thing he ever heard.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'So you think I'm fat, do you, my boy?' says he.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes, I do,' says Archibald. 'Fat and red and funny. Most as funny as the
+      whisker man. I never saw such funny-lookin' people.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He commenced to point and holler and laugh. Poor Margaret was so shocked
+      and mortified she didn't know what to do.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Stop your noise, sonny,' says I. 'This gentleman wants to talk to your
+      nurse.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The answer I got was some unexpected.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What makes your feet so big?' says Archie, pointin' at my Sunday boots.
+      'Why do you wear shoes like that? Can't you help it? You're funny, too,
+      aren't you? You're funnier than the rest of 'em.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We all went into the library then, and Father McGrath tried to ask
+      Margaret some questions. I'd told him the heft of the yarn on the way from
+      the church, and he was interested. But the questionin' was mighty
+      unsatisfyin'. Archibald was the whole team, and the rest of us was yeller
+      dogs under the wagon.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Can't you keep that child quiet?' asks the priest, at last, losin' his
+      temper and speakin' pretty sharp.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'O Archie, dear! DO be a nice boy,' begs Margaret, for the eight
+      hundredth time.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Why don't you punish him as he deserves?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Father, dear, I can't. The mistress says he's so sensitive that he has
+      to have his own way. I'd lose my place if I laid a hand on him.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Come on into the parlor and see the pictures, Archie,' says I.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I won't,' says Archibald. 'I'm goin' to stay here and see the fat man
+      make faces.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You see,' says Sim, apologizin' 'we can't touch him, 'cause we promised
+      his ma not to interfere. And my right hand's got cramps in the palm of it
+      this minute,' he adds, glarin' at the young one.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Father McGrath stood up and reached for his hat. Margaret began to cry.
+      Archibald, dear, whooped and kicked the furniture. And just then the
+      front-door bell rang.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;For a minute I thought 'twas Cousin Harriet and the Holdens come back,
+      but then I knew it was hours too early for that. Margaret was too much
+      upset to be fit for company, so I answered the bell myself. And who in the
+      world should be standin' on the steps but that big Dempsey man, the boss
+      of the Golconda House, where me and Simeon had been stayin'; the feller
+      we'd spoke to that very mornin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Good evenin', sor,' says he, in a voice as deep as a well. 'I'm glad to
+      find you to home, sor. There's a telegram come for you at my place,' he
+      says, 'and as your friend lift the address when he come for the baggage
+      this afternoon, I brought it along to yez. I was comin' this way, so 'twas
+      no trouble.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'That's real kind of you,' I says. 'Step inside a minute, won't you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So in he comes, and stands, holdin' his shiny beaver in his hand, while I
+      tore open the telegram envelope. 'Twas a message from a feller I knew with
+      the Clyde Line of steamboats. He had found out, somehow, that we was in
+      New York, and the telegram was an order for us to come and make him a
+      visit.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I hope it's not bad news, sor,' says the big chap.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No, no,' says I. 'Not a bit of it, Mr. Dempsey. Come on in and have a
+      cigar, won't you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Thank you, sor,' says he. 'I'm glad it's not the bad news. Sure, I ax
+      you and your friend's pardon for bein' so short to yez this mornin', but
+      I'm in that throuble lately that me timper is all but gone.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'That so?' says I. 'Trouble's thick in this world, ain't it? Me and Mr.
+      Phinney got a case of trouble on our hands now, Mr. Dempsey, and&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Excuse me, sor,' he says. 'My name's not Dempsey. I suppose you seen the
+      sign with me partner's name on it. I only bought into the business a while
+      ago, and the new sign's not ready yit. Me name is O'Shaughnessy, sor.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What?' says I. And then: 'WHAT?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'O'Shaughnessy. Michael O'Shaughnessy. I&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hold on!' I sung out. 'For the land sakes, hold on! WHAT'S your name?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He bristled up like a cat.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Michael O'Shaughnessy,' he roars, like the bull of Bashan. 'D'yez find
+      any fault with it? 'Twas me father's before me&mdash;Michael Patrick
+      O'Shaughnessy, of County Sligo. I'll have yez know&mdash;WHAT'S THAT?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas a scream from the libr'ry. Next thing I knew, Margaret, the nurse
+      girl, was standin' in the hall, white as a Sunday shirt, and swingin' back
+      and forth like a wild-carrot stalk in a gale.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Mike!' says she, kind of low and faint. 'Mary be good to us! MIKE!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And the big chap dropped his tall hat on the floor and turned as white as
+      she was.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'MAGGIE!' he hollers. And then they closed in on one another.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sim and the priest and Archie had followed the girl into the hall. Me and
+      Phinney was too flabbergasted to do anything, but big Father McGrath was
+      cool as an ice box. When Archibald, like the little imp he was, sets up a
+      whoop and dives for them two, the priest grabs him by the rope of the
+      blanket nighty and swings him into the libr'ry, and shuts the door on him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'And now,' says he, takin' Sim and me by the arms and leadin' us to the
+      parlor, 'we'll just step in here and wait a bit.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We waited, maybe, ten minutes. Archibald, dear, shut up in the libr'ry,
+      was howlin' blue murder, but nobody paid any attention to him. Then there
+      was a knock on the door between us and the hall, and Father McGrath opened
+      it. There they was, the two of 'em&mdash;Mike and Maggie&mdash;lookin' red
+      and foolish&mdash;but happy, don't talk!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You see, sor,' says the O'Shaughnessy man to me, ''twas the
+      five-thousand-dollar prize that done it. I'd been workin' at me trade, sor&mdash;larnin'
+      to tind bar it was&mdash;and I'd just got a new job where the pay was
+      pretty good, and I'd sint over for Maggie, and was plannin' for the little
+      flat we was to have, and the like of that, when I drew that prize. And the
+      joy of it was like handin' me a jolt on the jaw. It put me out for two
+      weeks, sor, and when I come to I was in Baltimore, where I'd gone to
+      collect the money; and two thousand of the five was gone, and I knew me
+      job in New York was gone, and I was that shamed and sick it took me three
+      days more to make up me mind to come to me Cousin Tim's, where I knew
+      Maggie'd be waitin' for me. And when I did come back she was gone, too.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'And then,' says Father McGrath, sharp, 'I suppose you went on another
+      spree, and spent the rest of the money.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I did not, sor&mdash;axin' your pardon for contradictin' your riverence.
+      I signed the pledge, and I'll keep it, with Maggie to help me. I put me
+      three thousand into a partnership with me friend Dempsey, who was runnin'
+      the Golconda House&mdash;'tis over on the East Side, with a fine bar trade&mdash;and
+      I'm doin' well, barrin' that I've been crazy for this poor girl, and
+      advertisin' and&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'And look at the clothes of him!' sings out Margaret, reverentlike. 'And
+      is that YOUR tall hat, Mike? To think of you with a tall hat! Sure it's a
+      proud girl I am this day. Saints forgive me, I've forgot Archie!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And afore we could stop her she'd run into the hall and unfastened the
+      libr'ry door. It took her some time to smooth down the young one's
+      sensitive feelin's, and while she was gone, me and Simeon told the
+      O'Shaughnessy man a little of what his girl had had to put up with along
+      of Cousin Harriet and Archibald. He was mad.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Is that the little blackguard?' he asks, pointin' to Archibald, who had
+      arrived by now.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'That's the one,' says I.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Archibald looked up at him and grinned, sassy as ever.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Father McGrath,' asks O'Shaughnessy, determined like, 'can you marry us
+      this night?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I can,' says the Father.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'And will yez?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I will, with pleasure.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Maggie,' says Mike, 'get your hat and jacket on and come with the Father
+      and me this minute. These gintlemen here will explain to your lady when
+      she comes back. But YOU'LL come back no more. We'll send for your trunk
+      to-morrer.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Even then the girl hesitated. She'd been so used to bein' a slave that I
+      suppose she couldn't realize she was free at last.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But, Mike, dear,' she says. 'I&mdash;oh, your lovely hat! Put it down,
+      Archie, darlin'. Put it down!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Archibald had been doin' a little cruisin' on his own hook, and he'd dug
+      up Mike's shiny beaver where it had been dropped in the hall. Now he was
+      dancin' round with it, bangin' it on the top as if it was a drum.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Put it down, PLEASE!' pleads Margaret. 'Twas plain that that plug was a
+      crown of glory to her.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Drop it, you little thafe!' yells O'Shaughnessy, makin' a dive for the
+      boy.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I won't!' screams Archibald, and starts to run. He tripped over the
+      corner of a mat, and fell flat. The plug hat was underneath him, and it
+      fell flat, too.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh! oh! oh!' wails Margaret, wringin' her hands. 'Your beautiful hat,
+      Mike!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Mike's face was like a sunset.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Your reverence,' says he, 'tell me this; don't the wife promise to
+      &ldquo;obey&rdquo; in the marriage service?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'She does,' says Father McGrath.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'D'ye hear that, you that's to be Margaret O'Shaughnessy? You do? Well,
+      then, as your husband that's to be in tin minutes, I order you to give
+      that small divil what's comin' to him. D'ye hear me? Will yez obey me, or
+      will yez not?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She didn't know what to do. You could see she wanted to&mdash;her fingers
+      was itchin' to do it, but&mdash;And then Archie held up the ruins of the
+      hat and commenced to laugh.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That settled it. Next minute he was across her knee and gettin' what he'd
+      been sufferin' for ever sence he was born; and gettin' all the back
+      numbers along with it, too.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And in the midst of the performance Sim Phinney leans over to me with the
+      most heavenly, resigned expression on his face, and says he:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'It ain't OUR fault, Hiram. We promised not to interfere.'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What did Sam Holden and his wife say when they got home?&rdquo; asked Captain
+      Sol, when the triumphant whoops over Archibald's righteous chastisement
+      had subsided.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We didn't give him much of a chance to say anything. I laid for him in
+      the hall when he arrived and told him that Phinney had got a telegram and
+      must leave immediate. He wanted to know why, and a whole lot more, but I
+      told him we'd write it. Neither Sim nor me cared to face Cousin Harriet
+      after her darlin' son had spun his yarn. Ha! ha! I'd like to have seen her
+      face&mdash;from a safe distance.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Bailey Stitt cleared his throat. &ldquo;Referrin' to them automobiles,&rdquo;
+       he said, &ldquo;I&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Say, Sol,&rdquo; interrupted Wingate, &ldquo;did I ever tell you of Cap'n Jonadab's
+      and my gettin' took up by the police when WE was in New York?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; replied the astounded depot master. &ldquo;Took up by the POLICE?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Um&mdash;hm. Surprises you, don't it? Well, that whole trip was a
+      surprise to me.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;When Laban Thorp set out to thrash his son and the boy licked him
+      instead, they found the old man settin' in the barnyard, holdin' on to his
+      nose and grinnin' for pure joy.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hurt?' says he. 'Why, some. But think of it! Only think of it! I didn't
+      believe Bill had it in him.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, that's the way I felt when Cap'n Jonadab sprung the New York plan
+      on to me. I was pretty nigh as much surprised as Labe. The idea of a man
+      with a chronic case of lockjaw of the pocketbook, same as Jonadab had
+      worried along under ever sence I knew him, suddenly breakin' loose with a
+      notion to go to New York on a pleasure cruise! 'Twas too many for me. I
+      set and looked at him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, I mean it, Barzilla,' he says. 'I ain't been to New York sence I was
+      mate on the Emma Snow, and that was 'way back in the eighties. That is, to
+      stop I ain't. That time we went through on the way to Peter T.'s weddin'
+      don't count, 'cause we only went in the front door and out the back, like
+      Squealer Wixon went through high school. Let's you and me go and stay two
+      or three days and have a real high old time,' says he.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I fetched a long breath. 'Jonadab,' I says, don't scare a feller this
+      way; I've got a weak heart. If you're goin' to start in and be divilish in
+      your old age, why, do it kind of gradual. Let's go over to the billiard
+      room and have a bottle of sass'parilla and a five-cent cigar, just to
+      break the ice.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But that only made him mad.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You talk like a fish,' he says. 'I mean it. Why can't we go? It's
+      September, the Old Home House is shut up for the season, you and me's done
+      well&mdash;fur's profits are concerned&mdash;and we ought to have a
+      change, anyway. We've got to stay here in Orham all winter.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Have you figgered out how much it's goin' to cost?' I asked him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, he had. 'It won't be so awful expensive,' he says. 'I've got some
+      stock in the railroad and that'll give me a pass fur's Fall River. And we
+      can take a lunch to eat on the boat. And a stateroom's a dollar; that's
+      fifty cents apiece. And my daughter's goin' to Denboro on a visit next
+      week, so I'd have to pay board if I stayed to home. Come on, Barzilla!
+      don't be so tight with your money.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So I said I'd go, though I didn't have any pass, nor no daughter to feed
+      me free gratis for nothin' when I got back. And when we started, on the
+      followin' Monday, nothin' would do but we must be at the depot at two
+      o'clock so's not to miss the train, which left at quarter past three.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I didn't sleep much that night on the boat. For one thing, our stateroom
+      was a nice lively one, alongside of the paddle box and just under the fog
+      whistle; and for another, the supper that Jonadab had brought, bein'
+      mainly doughnuts and cheese, wa'n't the best cargo to take to bed with
+      you. But it didn't make much diff'rence, 'cause we turned out at four,
+      so's to see the scenery and git our money's worth. What was left of the
+      doughnuts and cheese we had for breakfast.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We made the dock on time, and the next thing was to pick out a hotel. I
+      was for cruisin' along some of the main streets until we hove in sight of
+      a place that looked sociable and not too expensive. But no; Jonadab had it
+      all settled for me. We was goin' to the 'Wayfarer's Inn,' a boardin' house
+      where he'd put up once when he was mate of the Emma Snow. He said 'twas a
+      fine place and you could git as good ham and eggs there as a body'd want
+      to eat.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So we set sail for the 'Wayfarer's,' and of all the times gittin' to a
+      place&mdash;don't talk! We asked no less than nine policemen and one
+      hundred and two other folks, and it cost us thirty cents in car fares,
+      which pretty nigh broke Jonadab's heart. However, we found it, finally,
+      'way off amongst a nest of brick houses and peddler carts and children,
+      and it wa'n't the 'Wayfarer's Inn' no more, but was down in the shippin'
+      list as the 'Golconda House.' Jonadab said the neighborhood had changed
+      some sence he was there, but he guessed we'd better chance it, 'cause the
+      board was cheap.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We had a nine-by-ten room up aloft somewheres, and there we set down on
+      the edge of the bed and a chair to take account of stock, as you might
+      say.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Now, I tell you, Jonadab,' says I; 'we don't want to waste no time, and
+      we've got the day afore us. What do you say if we cruise along the water
+      front for a spell? There's ha'f a dozen Orham folks aboard diff'rent
+      steamers that hail from this port, and 'twouldn't be no more'n neighborly
+      to call on 'em. There's Silas Baker's boy, Asa&mdash;he's with the
+      Savannah Line and he'd be mighty glad to see us. And there's&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But Jonadab held up his hand. He'd been mysterious as a baker's mince pie
+      ever sence we started, hintin' at somethin' he'd got to do when we'd got
+      to New York. And now he out with it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Barzilla,' he says, 'I ain't sayin' but what I'd like to go to the
+      wharves with you, first rate. And we will go, too. But afore we do
+      anything else I've got an errand that must be attended to. 'Twas give to
+      me by a dyin' man,' he says, 'and I promised him I'd do it. So that comes
+      first of all.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He got his wallet out of his inside vest pocket, where it had been pinned
+      in tight to keep it safe from robbers, unwound a foot or so of leather
+      strap, and dug up a yeller piece of paper that looked old enough to be
+      Methusalem's will, pretty nigh.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Do you remember Patrick Kelly in Orham?' he asks.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Who?' says I. 'Pat Kelly, the Irishman, that lived in the little old
+      shack back of your barn? Course I do. But he's been dead for I don't know
+      how long.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I know he has. Do you remember his boy Jim that run away from home?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Let's see,' I says. 'Seems to me I do. Freckled, red-headed rooster,
+      wa'n't he? And of all the imps of darkness that ever&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'S-sh-sh!' he interrupted solemn. 'Don't say that now, Barzilla. Sounds
+      kind of irreverent. Well, me and old Pat was pretty friendly, in a way,
+      though he did owe me rent. When he was sick with the pleurisy he sends for
+      me and he says, &ldquo;Cap'n 'Wixon,&rdquo; says he, &ldquo;you're pretty close with the
+      money,&rdquo; he says&mdash;he was kind of out of his head at the time and
+      liable to say foolish things&mdash;&ldquo;you're pretty close,&rdquo; he says, &ldquo;but
+      you're a man of your word. My boy Jimmie, that run away, was the apple of
+      my eye.&rdquo;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'That's what he said about his girl Maggie that was took up for stealin'
+      Mrs. Elkanah Higgins's spoons,' I says. 'He had a healthy crop of apples
+      in HIS orchard.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'S-sh-h! DON'T talk so! I feel as if the old man's spirit was with us
+      this minute. &ldquo;He's the apple of my eye,&rdquo; he says, &ldquo;and he run away, after
+      me latherin' the life out of him with a wagon spoke. 'Twas all for his
+      good, but he didn't understand, bein' but a child. And now I've heard,&rdquo; he
+      says, &ldquo;that he's workin' at 116 East Blank Street in the city of New York.
+      Cap'n Wixon, you're a man of money and a travelin' man,&rdquo; he says (I was
+      fishin' in them days). &ldquo;When you go to New York,&rdquo; he says, &ldquo;I want you to
+      promise me to go to the address on this paper and hunt up Jimmie. Tell him
+      I forgive him for lickin' him,&rdquo; he says, &ldquo;and die happy. Will you promise
+      me that, Cap'n, on your word as a gentleman?&rdquo; And I promised him. And he
+      died in less than ten months afterwards, poor thing.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But that was sixteen&mdash;eighteen&mdash;nineteen years ago,' says I.
+      'And the boy run away three years afore that. You've been to New York in
+      the past nineteen years, once anyhow.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I know it. But I forgot. I'm ashamed of it, but I forgot. And when I was
+      goin' through the things up attic at my daughter's last Friday, seein'
+      what I could find for the rummage sale at the church, I come across my old
+      writin' desk, and in it was this very piece of paper with the address on
+      it just as I wrote it down. And me startin' for New York in three days!
+      Barzilla, I swan to man, I believe something SENT me to that attic.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I knew what sent him there and so did the church folks, judgin' by their
+      remarks when the contribution came in. But I was too much set back by the
+      whole crazy business to say anything about that.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Look here, Jonadab Wixon,' I sings out, 'do you mean to tell me that
+      we've got to put in the whole forenoon ransackin' New York to find a boy
+      that run off twenty-two years ago?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'It won't take the forenoon,' he says. 'I've got the number, ain't I?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes, you've got the number where he WAS. If you want to know where I
+      think he's likely to be now, I'd try the jail.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But he said I was unfeelin' and disobligin' and lots more, so, to cut the
+      argument short, I agreed to go. And off we put to hunt up 116 East Blank
+      Street. And when we located it, after a good hour of askin' questions, and
+      payin' car fares and wearin' out shoe leather, 'twas a Chinese laundry.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Well,' I says, sarcastic, 'here we be. Which one of the heathen do you
+      think is Jimmie? If he had an inch or so more of upper lip, I'd gamble on
+      that critter with the pink nighty and the baskets on his feet. He has a
+      kind of familiar chicken-stealin' look in his eye. Oh, come down on the
+      wharves, Jonadab, and be sensible.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Would you believe it, he wa'n't satisfied. We must go into the wash shop
+      and ask the Chinamen if they knew Jimmie Kelly. So we went in and the
+      powwow begun.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas a mighty unsatisfyin' interview. Jonadab's idea of talkin' to
+      furriners is to yell at 'em as if they was stone deef. If they don't
+      understand what you say, yell louder. So between his yells and the
+      heathen's jabber and grunts the hullabaloo was worse than a cat in a hen
+      yard. Folks begun to stop outside the door and listen and grin.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What did he say?' asks the Cap'n, turnin' to me.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I don't know,' says I, 'but I cal'late he's gettin' ready to send a note
+      up to the crazy asylum. Come on out of here afore I go loony myself.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So he done it, finally, cross as all get out, and swearin' that all
+      Chinese was no good and oughtn't to be allowed in this country. But he
+      wouldn't give up, not yet. He must scare up some of the neighbors and ask
+      them. The fifth man that we asked was an old chap who remembered that
+      there used to be a liquor saloon once where the laundry was now. But he
+      didn't know who run it or what had become of him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Never mind,' I says. 'You're as warm as you're likely to be this trip. A
+      rum shop is just about the place I'd expect that Kelly boy WOULD be in.
+      And, if he's like the rest of his relations on his dad's side, he drank
+      himself to death years ago. NOW will you head for the Savannah Line?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Not much, he wouldn't. He had another notion. We'd look in the directory.
+      That seemed to have a glimmer of sense somewheres in its neighborhood, so
+      we found an apothecary store and the clerk handed us out a book once again
+      as big as a church Bible.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Kelly,' says Jonadab. 'Yes, here 'tis. Now, &ldquo;James Kelly.&rdquo; Land of Love!
+      Barzilla, look here.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I looked, and there wa'n't no less than a dozen pages of James Kellys
+      beginning with fifty James A.'s and endin' with four James Z.'s. The Y in
+      'New York' ought to be a C, judgin' by that directory.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Godfrey mighty!' I says. 'This ain't no forenoon's job, Jonadab. If
+      you're goin' through that list you'll have to spend the rest of your life
+      here. Only, unless you want to be lonesome, you'll have to change your
+      name to Kelly.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'If I'd only got his middle letter,' says he, mournful, ''twould have
+      been easier. He had four middle names, if I remember right&mdash;the old
+      man was great on names&mdash;and 'twas too much trouble to write 'em all
+      down. Well, I've done my duty, anyhow. We'll go and call on Ase Baker.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But 'twas after eleven o'clock then, and the doughnuts and cheese I had
+      for breakfast was beginnin' to feel as if they wanted company. So we
+      decided to go back to the Golconda and have some dinner first.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We had ham and eggs for dinner, some that was left over from the last
+      time Jonadab stopped there, I cal'late. Lucky there was hot bread and
+      coffee on the bill or we'd never got a square meal. Then we went up to our
+      room and the Cap'n laid down on the bed. He was beat out, he said, and
+      wanted to rest up a spell afore haulin' anchor for another cruise.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0012" id="link2HCH0012">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER XII
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      A VISION SENT
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Where's the arrestin' come in?&rdquo; demanded Stitt.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Comes quick now, Bailey. Plenty quick enough for me and Jonadab, I tell
+      you that! After we got to our room the Cap'n went to sleep pretty soon and
+      I set in the one chair, readin' the newspaper and wishin' I hadn't ate so
+      many of the warm bricks that the Golconda folks hoped was biscuit. They
+      made me feel like a schooner goin' home in ballast. I guess I was drowsin'
+      off myself, but there comes a most unearthly yell from the bed and I
+      jumped ha'f out of the chair. There was Jonadab settin' up and lookin'
+      wild.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What in the world?' says I.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh! Ugh! My soul!' says he.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Your soul, hey?' says I. 'Is that all? I thought mebbe you'd lost a
+      quarter.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Barzilla,' he says, comin' to and starin' at me solemn, 'Barzilla, I've
+      had a dream&mdash;a wonderful dream.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Well,' I says, 'I ain't surprised. A feller that h'isted in as much
+      fried dough as you did ought to expect&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But I tell you 'twas a WONDERFUL dream,' he says. 'I dreamed I was on
+      Blank Street, where we was this mornin', and Patrick Kelly comes to me and
+      p'ints his finger right in my face. I see him as plain as I see you now.
+      And he says to me&mdash;he said it over and over, two or three times&mdash;Seventeen,&rdquo;
+       says he, &ldquo;Seventeen.&rdquo; Now what do you think of that?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Humph!' I says. 'I ain't surprised. I think 'twas just seventeen of them
+      biscuits that you got away with. Wonder to me you didn't see somebody
+      worse'n old Pat.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But he was past jokin'. You never see a man so shook up by the nightmare
+      as he was by that one. He kept goin' over it and tellin' how natural old
+      Kelly looked and how many times he said 'Seventeen' to him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Now what did he mean by it?' he says. 'Don't tell me that was a common
+      dream, 'cause twa'n't. No, sir, 'twas a vision sent to me, and I know it.
+      But what did he mean?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I think he meant you was seventeen kinds of an idiot,' I snorts,
+      disgusted. 'Get up off that bed and stop wavin' your arms, will you? He
+      didn't mean for you to turn yourself into a windmill, that's sartin sure.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then he hits his knee a slap that sounds like a window blind blowin' to.
+      'I've got it!' he sings out. 'He meant for me to go to number seventeen on
+      that street. That's what he meant.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I laughed and made fun of him, but I might as well have saved my breath.
+      He was sure Pat Kelly's ghost had come hikin' back from the hereafter to
+      tell him to go to 17 Blank Street and find his boy. 'Else why was he ON
+      Blank Street?' he says. 'You tell me that.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I couldn't tell him. It's enough for me to figger out what makes live
+      folks act the way they do, let alone dead ones. And Cap'n Jonadab was a
+      Spiritu'list on his mother's side. It ended by my agreein' to give the
+      Jimmie chase one more try.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But it's got to be the last,' I says. 'When you get to number seventeen
+      don't you say you think the old man meant to say &ldquo;seventy&rdquo; and stuttered.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Number 17 Blank Street was a little combination fruit and paper store run
+      by an Eyetalian with curly hair and the complexion of a molasses cooky.
+      His talk sounded as if it had been run through a meat chopper. All he
+      could say was, 'Nica grape, genta'men? On'y fifteen cent a pound. Nica
+      grape? Nica apple? Nica pear? Nica ploom?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Kelly?' says Jonadab, hollerin' as usual. 'Kelly! d'ye understand?
+      K-E-L-Kel L-Y-ly, Kelly. YOU know, KELLY! We want to find him.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And just then up steps a feller about six feet high and three foot
+      through. He was dressed in checkerboard clothes, some gone to seed, and
+      you could hardly see the blue tie he had on for the glass di'mond in it.
+      Oh, he was a little wilted now&mdash;for the lack of water, I judge&mdash;but
+      'twas plain that he'd been a sunflower in his time. He'd just come out of
+      a liquor store next door to the fruit shop and was wipin' his mouth with
+      the back of his hand.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What's this I hear?' says he, fetchin' Jonadab a welt on the back like a
+      mast goin' by the board. 'Is it me friend Kelly you're lookin' for?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I was just goin' to tell him no, not likin' his looks, but Jonadab cut in
+      ahead of me, out of breath from the earthquake the feller had landed him,
+      but excited as could be.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes, yes!' says he. 'It's Mr. Kelly we want. Do you know him?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Do I know him? Why, me bucko, 'tis me old college chum he is. Come on
+      with me and we'll give him the glad hand.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He grabs Jonadab by the arm and starts along the sidewalk, steerin' a
+      toler'ble crooked course, but gainin' steady by jerks.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I was on me way to Kelly's place now,' says he. 'And here it is. Sure
+      didn't I bate the bookies blind on Rosebud but yesterday&mdash;or was it
+      the day before? I don't know, but come on, me lads, and we'll do him
+      again.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He turned in at a little narrer entry-like, and went stumblin' up a
+      flight of dirty stairs. I caught hold of Jonadab's coat tails and pulled
+      him back.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Where you goin', you crazy loon?' I whispered. 'Can't you see he's three
+      sheets in the wind? And you haven't told him what Kelly you want, nor
+      nothin'.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But I might as well have hollered at a stone wall. 'I don't care if he's
+      as fur gone in liquor as Belshazzer's goat,' sputters the Cap'n, all
+      worked up. 'He's takin' us to a Kelly, ain't he? And is it likely there'd
+      be another one within three doors of the number I dreamed about? Didn't I
+      tell you that dream was a vision sent? Don't lay to NOW, Barzilla, for the
+      land sakes! It's Providence a-workin'.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Cording to my notion the sunflower looked more like an agent from
+      t'other end of the line than one from Providence, but just then he
+      commenced to yell for us and upstairs we went, Jonadab first.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Whisht!' says the checkerboard, holdin' on to Jonadab's collar and
+      swingin' back and forth. 'Before we proceed to blow in on me friend Kelly,
+      let us come to an understandin' concernin' and touchin' on&mdash;and&mdash;and&mdash;I
+      don't know. But b'ys,' says he, solemn and confidential, 'are you on the
+      square? Are yez dead game sports, hey?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes, yes!' says Jonadab. 'Course we be. Mr. Kelly and us are old
+      friends. We've come I don't know how fur on purpose to see him. Now
+      where's&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Say no more,' hollers the feller. 'Say no more. Come on with yez.' And
+      he marches down the dark hall to a door with a 'To let' sign on it and
+      fetches it a bang with his fist. It opens a little ways and a face shows
+      in the crack.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hello, Frank!' hails the sunflower, cheerful. 'Will you take that ugly
+      mug of yours out of the gate and lave me friends in?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What's the matter wid you, Mike?' asks the chap at the door. 'Yer can't
+      bring them two yaps in here and you know it. Gwan out of this.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He tried to shut the door, but the checkerboard had his foot between it
+      and the jamb. You might as well have tried to shove in the broadside of an
+      ocean liner as to push against that foot.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'These gents are friends of mine,' says he. 'Frank, I'll do yez the honor
+      of an introduction to Gin'ral Grant and Dan'l O'Connell. Open that door
+      and compose your face before I'm obliged to break both of 'em.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But I tell you, Mike, I can't,' says the door man, lookin' scared. 'The
+      boss is out, and you know&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'WILL you open that door?' roars the big chap. And with that he hove his
+      shoulder against the panels and jammed the door open by main force, all
+      but flattenin' the other feller behind it. 'Walk in, Gin'ral,' he says to
+      Jonadab, and in we went, me wonderin' what was comin' next, and not darin'
+      to guess.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There was a kind of partitioned off hallway inside, with another door in
+      the partition. We opened that, and there was a good-sized room, filled
+      with men, smokin' and standin' around. A high board fence was acrost one
+      end of the room, and from behind it comes a jinglin' of telephone bells
+      and the sounds of talk. The floor was covered with torn papers, the window
+      blinds was shut, the gas was burnin' blue, and, between it and the smoke,
+      the smells was as various as them in a fish glue factory. On the fence was
+      a couple of blackboards with 'Belmont' and 'Brighton' and suchlike names
+      in chalk wrote on 'em, and beneath that a whole mess in writin' and
+      figures like, 'Red Tail 4&mdash;Wt&mdash;108&mdash;Jock Smith&mdash;5&mdash;1,'
+      'Sourcrout 5&mdash;Wt&mdash;99&mdash;Jock Jones&mdash;20&mdash;5,' and
+      similar rubbish. And the gang&mdash;a mighty mixed lot&mdash;was
+      scribblin' in little books and watchin' each other as if they was afraid
+      of havin' their pockets picked; though, to look at 'em, you'd have guessed
+      the biggest part had nothin' in their pockets but holes.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The six-foot checkerboard&mdash;who, it turned out, answered to the hail
+      of 'Mike'&mdash;seemed to be right at home with the gang. He called most
+      of 'em by their first names and went sasshayin' around, weltin' 'em on the
+      back and tellin' 'em how he'd 'put crimps in the bookies rolls t'other
+      day,' and a lot more stuff that they seemed to understand, but was hog
+      Greek to me and Jonadab. He'd forgot us altogether which was a mercy the
+      way I looked at it, and I steered the Cap'n over into a corner and we come
+      to anchor on a couple of rickety chairs.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What&mdash;why&mdash;what kind of a place IS this, Barzilla?' whispers
+      Jonadab, scared.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Sh-h-h!' says I. 'Land knows. Just set quiet and hang on to your watch.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But&mdash;but I want to find Kelly,' says he.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I'd give somethin' to find a back door,' says I. 'Ain't this a
+      collection of dock rats though! If this is a part of your dream, Jonadab,
+      I wish you'd turn over and wake up. Oh land! here's one murderer headin'
+      this way. Keep your change in your fist and keep the fist shut.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;A more'n average rusty peep, with a rubber collar on and no necktie,
+      comes slinkin' over to us. He had a smile like a crack in a plate.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Say, gents,' he says, 'have you made your bets yet? I've got a dead
+      straight line on the handicap,' says he, 'and I'll put you next for a one
+      spot. It's a sure t'ing at fifteen to three. What do you say?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I didn't say nuthin'; but that fool dream was rattlin' round in Jonadab's
+      skull like a bean in a blowgun, and he sees a chance for a shot.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'See here, mister,' he says. 'Can you tell me where to locate Mr. Kelly?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Who&mdash;Pete?' says the feller. 'Oh, he ain't in just now. But about
+      that handicap. I like the looks of youse and I'll let youse in for a
+      dollar. Or, seein' it's you, we'll say a half. Only fifty cents. I
+      wouldn't do better for my own old man,' he says.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;While the Cap'n was tryin' to unravel one end of this gibberish I spoke
+      up prompt.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Say,' says I, 'tell me this, will you? Is the Kelly who owns this&mdash;this
+      palace, named Jimmie&mdash;James, I mean?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Naw,' says he. 'Sure he ain't. It's Pete Kelly, of course&mdash;Silver
+      Pete. But what are you givin' us? Are you bettin' on the race, or ain't
+      you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, Jonadab understood that. He bristled up like a brindled cat. If
+      there's any one thing the Cap'n is down on, it's gamblin' and such&mdash;always
+      exceptin' when he knows he's won already. You've seen that kind, maybe.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Young feller,' he says, perkish, 'I want you to know that me and my
+      friend ain't the bettin' kind. What sort of a hole IS this, anyway?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The rubber collared critter backed off, lookin' worried. He goes acrost
+      the room, and I see him talkin' to two or three other thieves as tough as
+      himself. And they commenced to stare at us and scowl.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Come on,' I whispered to Jonadab. 'Let's get out of this place while we
+      can. There ain't no Jimmie Kelly here, or if there is you don't want to
+      find him.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He was as willin' to make tracks as I was, by this time, and we headed
+      for the door in the partition. But Rubber Collar and some of the others
+      got acrost our bows.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Cut it out,' says one of 'em. 'You can't get away so easy. Hi, Frank!
+      Frank! Who let these turnip pullers in here, anyhow? Who are they?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The chap who was tendin' door comes out of his coop. 'You've got me,' he
+      says. 'They come in with Big Mike, and he was loaded and scrappy and
+      jammed 'em through. Said they was pals of his. Where is he?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There was a hunt for Mike, and, when they got his bearin's, there he was
+      keeled over on a bench, breathin' like an escape valve. And an admiral's
+      salute wouldn't have woke him up. The whole crew was round us by this
+      time, some ugly, and the rest laffin' and carryin' on.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'It's the Barkwurst gang,' says one.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'It's old Bark himself,' says another. 'Look at them lace curtains.' And
+      he points to Jonadab's whiskers.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'This one's Jacobs in disguise,' sings out somebody else. 'You can tell
+      him by the Rube get-up. Haw! haw!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Soak 'em! Do 'em up! Don't let 'em out!' hollers a ha'f dozen more.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Jonadab was game; I'll say that for him. And I hadn't been second mate in
+      my time for nothin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Take your hands off me!' yells the Cap'n. 'I come in here to find a man
+      I'm lookin' for, James Kelly it was, and&mdash;You would, would you! Stand
+      by, Barzilla!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I stood by. Rubber Collar got one from me that made him remember home and
+      mother, I'll bet. Anyhow, my knuckles ached for two days afterwards. And
+      Jonadab was just as busy. But I cal'late we'd have been ready for the oven
+      in another five minutes if the door hadn't bu'st open with a bang, and a
+      loud dressed chap, with the sweat pourin' down his face, come tearin' in.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Beat it, fellers!' he yells. 'The place is goin' to be pinched. I've
+      just had the tip, and they're right on top of me.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;THEN there was times. Everybody was shoutin' and swearin' and fallin'
+      over each other to get out. I was kind of lost in the shuffle, and the
+      next thing I remember for sartin is settin' up on Rubber Collar's stomach
+      and lookin' foggy at the door, where the loud dressed man was wrestlin'
+      with a policeman. And there was police at the windows and all around.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, don't talk! I got up, resurrects Jonadab from under a heap of
+      gamblers and furniture, and makes for harbor in our old corner. The police
+      was mighty busy, especially a fat, round-faced, red-mustached man, with
+      gold bands on his cap and arms, that the rest called 'Cap'n.' Him and the
+      loud dressed chap who'd give the alarm was talkin' earnest close to us.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I can't help it, Pete,' says the police cap'n. ''Twas me or the Vice
+      Suppression crowd. They've been on to you for two weeks back. I only just
+      got in ahead of 'em as it was. No, you'll have to go along with the rest
+      and take your chances. Quiet now, everybody, or you'll get it harder,' he
+      roars, givin' orders like the skipper of a passenger boat. 'Stand in line
+      and wait your turns for the wagon.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Jonadab grabbed me by the wrist. He was pale and shakin' all over.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, Lordy!' says he, 'we're took up. Will we have to go to jail, do you
+      think?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I don't know,' I says, disgusted. 'I presume likely we will. Did you
+      dream anything like this? You'd better see if you can't dream yourself out
+      now.' Twas rubbin' it in, but I was mad.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh! oh!' says he, flappin' his hands. 'And me a deacon of the church!
+      Will folks know it, do you think?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Will they know it! Sounds as if they knew it already. Just listen to
+      that.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The first wagon full of prizes was bein' loaded in down at the front
+      door, and the crowd outside was cheerin' 'em. Judgin' by the whoops and
+      hurrahs there wa'n't no less than a million folks at the show, and they
+      was gettin' the wuth of admission.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, dear!' groans Jonadab. 'And it'll be in the papers and all! I can't
+      stand this.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And afore I could stop him he'd run over and tackled the head policeman.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Mister&mdash;Mister Cap'n,' he says, pantin', 'there's been a mistake,
+      an awful mis&mdash;take&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'That's right,' says the police cap'n, 'there has. Six or eight of you
+      tin horns got clear. But&mdash;' Then he noticed who was speakin' to him
+      and his mouth dropped open like a hatch. 'Well, saints above!' he says.
+      'Have the up-state delegates got to buckin' the ponies, too? Why ain't you
+      back home killin' pertater bugs? You ought to be ashamed.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But we wa'n't gamblin'&mdash;me and my friend wa'n't. We was led in here
+      by mistake. We was told that a feller named Kelly lived here and we're
+      huntin' for a man of that name. I've got a message to him from his poor
+      dead father back in Orham. We come all the way from Orham, Mass.&mdash;to
+      find him and&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The police cap'n turned around then and stared at him hard. 'Humph!' says
+      he, after a spell. 'Go over there and set down till I want you. No, you'll
+      go now and we'll waste no breath on it. Go on, do you hear!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So we went, and there we set for ha'f an hour, while the rest of the gang
+      and the blackboards and the paper slips and the telephones and Big Mike
+      and his chair was bein' carted off to the wagon. Once, when one of the
+      constables was beatin' acrost to get us, the police cap'n spoke to him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You can leave these two,' he says. 'I'll take care of them.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So, finally, when there was nothin' left but the four walls and us and
+      some of the police, he takes me and Jonadab by the elbows and heads for
+      the door.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Now,' says he, 'walk along quiet and peaceable and tell me all about it.
+      Get out of this!' he shouts to the crowd of small boys and loafers on the
+      sidewalk, 'or I'll take you, too.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The outsiders fell astern, lookin' heartbroke and disapp'inted that we
+      wa'n't hung on the spot, and the fat boss policeman and us two paraded
+      along slow but grand. I felt like the feller that was caught robbin' the
+      poorhouse, and I cal'late Jonadab felt the same, only he was so busy
+      beggin' and pleadin' and explainin' that he couldn't stop to feel
+      anything.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He told it all, the whole fool yarn from one end to t'other. How old Pat
+      give him the message and how he went to the laundry, and about his
+      ridiculous dream, every word. And the fat policeman shook all over, like a
+      barrel of cod livers.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;By and by we got to a corner of a street and hove to. I could see the
+      station house loomin' up large ahead. Fatty took a card from his
+      pocketbook, wrote on it with a pencil, and then hailed a hack, one of them
+      stern-first kind where the driver sits up aloft 'way aft. He pushed back
+      the cap with the gilt wreath on it, and I could see his red hair shinin'
+      like a sunset.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Here,' says he to the hack driver, 'take these&mdash;this pair of salads
+      to the&mdash;what d'ye call it?&mdash;the Golconda House, wherever on top
+      of the pavement that is. And mind you, deliver 'em safe and don't let the
+      truck horses get a bite at 'em. And at half-past eight to-night you call
+      for 'em and bring 'em here,' handin' up the card he'd written on.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;''Tis the address of my house, I'm givin',' he says, turnin' to Jonadab.
+      'I'll be off duty then and we'll have dinner and talk about old times. To
+      think of you landin' in Silver Pete's pool room! Dear! dear! Why, Cap'n
+      Wixon, barrin' that your whiskers are a bit longer and a taste grayer, I'd
+      'a' known you anywheres. Many's the time I've stole apples over your back
+      fence. I'm Jimmie Kelly,' says he.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, by mighty!&rdquo; exclaimed the depot master, slapping his knee. &ldquo;So HE
+      was the Kelly man! Humph!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Funny how it turned out, wa'n't it?&rdquo; said Barzilla. &ldquo;Course, Cap'n
+      Jonadab was perfectly sat on spiritu'lism and signs and omens and such
+      after that. He's had his fortune told no less'n eight times sence, and,
+      nigh's I can find out, each time it's different. The amount of blondes and
+      brunettes and widows and old maids that he's slated to marry, accordin' to
+      them fortune tellers, is perfectly scandalous. If he lives up to the
+      prophecies, Brigham Young wouldn't be a twospot 'longside of him.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It's funny about dreams,&rdquo; mused Captain Hiram. &ldquo;Folks are always tellin'
+      about their comin' true, but none of mine ever did. I used to dream I was
+      goin' to be drowned, but I ain't been yet.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The depot master laughed. &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; he observed, &ldquo;once, when I was a
+      youngster, I dreamed two nights runnin' that I was bein' hung. I asked my
+      Sunday school teacher if he believed dreams come true, and he said yes,
+      sometimes. Then I told him my dream, and he said he believed in that one.
+      I judged that any other finish for me would have surprised him. But,
+      somehow or other, they haven't hung me yet.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There was a hired girl over at the Old Home House who was sat on fortune
+      tellin',&rdquo; said Wingate. &ldquo;Her name was Effie, and&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Look here!&rdquo; broke in Captain Bailey Stitt, righteous indignation in his
+      tone, &ldquo;I've started no less than nineteen different times to tell you
+      about how I went sailin' in an automobile. Now do you want to hear it, or
+      don't you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;How you went SAILIN' in an auto?&rdquo; repeated Barzilla. &ldquo;Went ridin', you
+      mean.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I mean sailin'. I went ridin', too, but&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You'll have to excuse me, Bailey,&rdquo; interrupted Captain Hiram, rising and
+      looking at his watch. &ldquo;I've stayed here a good deal longer'n I ought to,
+      already. I must be gettin' on home to see how poor little Dusenberry, my
+      boy, is feelin'. I do hope he's better by now. I wish Dr. Parker hadn't
+      gone out of town.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The depot master rose also. &ldquo;And I'll have to be excused, too,&rdquo; he
+      declared. &ldquo;It's most time for the up train. Good-by, Hiram. Give my
+      regards to Sophrony, and if there's anything I can do to help, in case
+      your baby should be sick, just sing out, won't you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But I want to tell about this automobilin' scrape,&rdquo; protested Captain
+      Bailey. &ldquo;It was one of them things that don't happen every day.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So was that fortune business of Effie's,&rdquo; declared Wingate. &ldquo;Honest, the
+      way it worked out was queer enough.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      But the train whistled just then and the group broke up. Captain Sol went
+      out to the platform, where Cornelius Rowe, Ed Crocker, Beriah Higgins,
+      Obed Gott, and other interested citizens had already assembled. Wingate
+      and Stitt followed. As for Captain Hiram Baker, he hurried home, his
+      conscience reproving him for remaining so long away from his wife and poor
+      little Hiram Joash, more familiarly known as &ldquo;Dusenberry.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0013" id="link2HCH0013">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER XIII
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      DUSENBERRY'S BIRTHDAY
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Mrs. Baker met her husband at the door.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;How is he?&rdquo; was the Captain's first question. &ldquo;Better, hey?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; was the nervous answer. &ldquo;No, I don't think he is. His throat's
+      terrible sore and the fever's just as bad.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Again Captain Hiram's conscience smote him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Dear! dear!&rdquo; he exclaimed. &ldquo;And I've been loafin' around the depot with
+      Sol Berry and the rest of 'em instead of stayin' home with you, Sophrony.
+      I KNEW I was doin' wrong, but I didn't realize&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Course you didn't, Hiram. I'm glad you got a few minutes' rest, after
+      bein' up with him half the night. I do wish the doctor was home, though.
+      When will he be back?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Not until late to-morrer, if then. Did you keep on givin' the medicine?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, but it don't seem to do much good. You go and set with him now,
+      Hiram. I must be seein' about supper.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      So into the sick room went Captain Hiram to sit beside the crib and sing
+      &ldquo;Sailor boy, sailor boy, 'neath the wild billow,&rdquo; as a lugubrious lullaby.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Little Hiram Joash tossed and tumbled. He was in a fitful slumber when
+      Mrs. Baker called her husband to supper. The meal was anything but a
+      cheerful one. They talked but little. Over the home, ordinarily so
+      cheerful, had settled a gloom that weighed upon them.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;My! my!&rdquo; sighed Captain Hiram, &ldquo;how lonesome it seems without him
+      chatterin' and racketin' sound. Seems darker'n usual, as if there was a
+      shadow on the place.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hush, Hiram! don't talk that way. A shadow! Oh, WHAT made you say that?
+      Sounds like a warnin', almost.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Warnin'?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, a forewarnin', you know. 'The valley of the shadow&mdash;'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;HUSH!&rdquo; Captain Baker's face paled under its sunburn. &ldquo;Don't say such
+      things, Sophrony. If that happened, the Lord help you and me. But it won't&mdash;it
+      won't. We're nervous, that's all. We're always so careful of Dusenberry,
+      as if he was made out of thin china, that we get fidgety when there's no
+      need of it. We mustn't be foolish.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      After supper Mrs. Baker tiptoed into the bedroom. She emerged with a very
+      white face.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hiram,&rdquo; she whispered, &ldquo;he acts dreadful queer. Come in and see him.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The &ldquo;first mate&rdquo; was tossing back and forth in the crib, making odd little
+      choky noises in his swollen throat. When his father entered he opened his
+      eyes, stared unmeaningly, and said: &ldquo;'Tand by to det der ship under way.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Good Lord! he's out of his head,&rdquo; gasped the Captain. Sophronia and he
+      stepped back into the sitting room and looked at each other, the same
+      thought expressed in the face of each. Neither spoke for a moment, then
+      Captain Hiram said:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Now don't you worry, Sophrony. The Doctor ain't home, but I'm goin' out
+      to&mdash;to telegraph him, or somethin'. Keep a stiff upper lip. It'll be
+      all right. God couldn't go back on you and me that way. He just couldn't.
+      I'll be back in a little while.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But, oh, Hiram! if he should&mdash;if he SHOULD be taken away, what WOULD
+      we do?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      She began to cry. Her husband laid a trembling hand on her shoulder.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But he won't,&rdquo; he declared stoutly. &ldquo;I tell you God wouldn't do such a
+      thing. Good-by, old lady. I'll hurry fast as I can.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      As he took up his cap and turned to the door he heard the voice of the
+      weary little first mate chokily calling his crew to quarters. &ldquo;All hands
+      on deck!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The telegraph office was in Beriah Higgins's store. Thither ran the
+      Captain. Pat Sharkey, Mr. Higgins's Irish helper, who acted as telegraph
+      operator during Gertie Higgins's absence, gave Captain Hiram little
+      satisfaction.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;How can I get Dr. Parker?&rdquo; asked Pat. &ldquo;He's off on a cruise and land
+      knows where I can reach him to-night. I'll do what I can, Cap, but it's
+      ten chances out of nine against a wire gettin' to him.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Hiram left the store, dodging questioners who were anxious to know
+      what his trouble might be, and dazedly crossed Main Street, to the railway
+      station. He thought of asking advice of his friend, the depot master.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The evening train from Boston pulled out as he passed through the waiting
+      room. One or two passengers were standing on the platform. One of these
+      was a short, square-shouldered man with gray side whiskers and eyeglasses.
+      The initials on his suit case were J. S. M., Boston, and they stood for
+      John Spencer Morgan. If the bearer of the suit case had followed the
+      fashion of the native princes of India and had emblazoned his titles upon
+      his baggage, the commonplace name just quoted might have been followed by
+      &ldquo;M.D., LL.D., at Harvard and Oxford; vice president American Medical
+      Society; corresponding secretary Associated Society of Surgeons; lecturer
+      at Harvard Medical College; author of 'Diseases of the Throat and Lungs,'
+      etc., etc.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      But Dr. Morgan was not given to advertising either his titles or himself,
+      and he was hurrying across the platform to Redny Blount's depot wagon when
+      Captain Hiram touched him on the arm.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Why, hello, Captain Baker,&rdquo; exclaimed the Doctor, &ldquo;how do you do?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Dr. Morgan,&rdquo; said the Captain, &ldquo;I&mdash;I hope you'll excuse my presumin'
+      on you this way, but I want to ask a favor of you, a great favor. I want
+      to ask if you'll come down to the house and see the boy; he's on the sick
+      list.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What, Dusenberry?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, sir. He's pretty bad, I'm 'fraid, and the old lady's considerable
+      upsot about him. If you just come down and kind of take an observation,
+      so's we could sort of get our bearin's, as you might say, 'twould be a
+      mighty help to all hands.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But where's your town physician? Hasn't he been called?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The Captain explained. He had inquired, and he had telegraphed, but could
+      get no word of Dr. Parker's whereabouts.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The great Boston specialist listened to Captain Hiram's story in an
+      absent-minded way. Holidays were few and far between with him, and when he
+      accepted the long-standing invitation of Mr. Ogden Williams to run down
+      for the week end he determined to forget the science of medicine and all
+      that pertained to it for the four days of his outing. But an exacting
+      patient had detained him long enough to prevent his taking the train that
+      morning, and now, on the moment of his belated arrival, he was asked to
+      pay a professional call. He liked the Captain, who had taken him out
+      fishing several times on his previous excursions to East Harniss, and he
+      remembered Dusenberry as a happy little sea urchin, but he simply couldn't
+      interrupt his pleasure trip to visit a sick baby. Besides, the child was
+      Dr. Parker's patient, and professional ethics forbade interference.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Captain Hiram,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;I am sorry to disappoint you, but it will be
+      impossible for me to do what you ask. Mr. Williams expected me this
+      morning, and I am late already. Dr. Parker will, no doubt, return soon.
+      The baby cannot be dangerously ill or he would not have left him.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The Captain slowly turned away.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Thank you, Doctor,&rdquo; he said huskily. &ldquo;I knew I hadn't no right to ask.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He walked across the platform, abstractedly striking his right hand into
+      his left. When he reached the ticket window he put one hand against the
+      frame as if to steady himself, and stood there listlessly.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The enterprising Mr. Blount had been hanging about the Doctor like a cat
+      about the cream pitcher; now he rushed up, grasped the suit case, and
+      officiously led the way toward the depot wagon. Dr. Morgan followed more
+      slowly. As he passed the Captain he glanced up into the latter's face,
+      lighted, as it was, by the lamp inside the window.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Doctor stopped and looked again. Then he took another step forward,
+      hesitated, turned on his heel, and said:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Wait a moment, Blount. Captain Hiram, do you live far from here?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The Captain started. &ldquo;No, sir, only a little ways.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;All right. I'll go down and look at this boy of yours. Mind you, I'll not
+      take the case, simply give my opinion on it, that's all. Blount, take my
+      grip to Mr. Williams's. I'm going to walk down with the Captain.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Haul on ee bowline, ee bowline, haul!&rdquo; muttered the first mate, as they
+      came into the room. The lamp that Sophronia was holding shook, and the
+      Captain hurriedly brushed his eyes with the back of his hand.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Dr. Morgan started perceptibly as he bent forward to look at the little
+      fevered face of Dusenberry. Graver and graver he became as he felt the
+      pulse and peered into the swollen throat. At length he rose and led the
+      way back into the sitting room.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Captain Baker,&rdquo; he said simply, &ldquo;I must ask you and your wife to be
+      brave. The child has diphtheria and&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Diphthery!&rdquo; gasped Sophronia, as white as her best tablecloth.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Good Lord above!&rdquo; cried the Captain.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Diphtheria,&rdquo; repeated the Doctor; &ldquo;and, although I dislike extremely to
+      criticize a member of my own profession, I must say that any physician
+      should have recognized it.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Sophronia groaned and covered her face with her apron.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ain't there&mdash;ain't there no chance, Doctor?&rdquo; gasped the Captain.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Certainly, there's a chance. If I could administer antitoxin by to-morrow
+      noon the patient might recover. What time does the morning train from
+      Boston arrive here?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ha'f-past ten or thereabouts.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Dr. Morgan took his notebook from his pocket and wrote a few lines in
+      pencil on one of the pages. Then he tore out the leaf and handed it to the
+      Captain.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Send that telegram immediately to my assistant in Boston,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;It
+      directs him to send the antitoxin by the early train. If nothing
+      interferes it should be here in time.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Hiram took the slip of paper and ran out at the door bareheaded.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Dr. Morgan stood in the middle of the floor absent-mindedly looking at his
+      watch. Sophronia was gazing at him appealingly. At length he put his watch
+      in his pocket and said quietly:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Mrs. Baker, I must ask you to give me a room. I will take the case.&rdquo; Then
+      he added mentally: &ldquo;And that settles my vacation.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Dr. Morgan's assistant was a young man whom nature had supplied with a
+      prematurely bald head, a flourishing beard, and a way of appearing ten
+      years older than he really was. To these gifts, priceless to a young
+      medical man, might be added boundless ambition and considerable common
+      sense.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The yellow envelope which contained the few lines meaning life or death to
+      little Hiram Joash Baker was delivered at Dr. Morgan's Back Bay office at
+      ten minutes past ten. Dr. Payson&mdash;that was the assistant's name&mdash;was
+      out, but Jackson, the colored butler, took the telegram into his
+      employer's office, laid it on the desk among the papers, and returned to
+      the hall to finish his nap in the armchair. When Dr. Payson came in, at
+      11:30, the sleepy Jackson forgot to mention the dispatch.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The next morning as Jackson was cleaning the professional boots in the
+      kitchen and chatting with the cook, the thought of the yellow envelope
+      came back to his brain. He went up the stairs with such precipitation that
+      the cook screamed, thinking he had a fit.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Doctah! Doctah!&rdquo; he exclaimed, opening the door of the assistant's
+      chamber, &ldquo;did you git dat telegraft I lef' on your desk las' night?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What telegraph?&rdquo; asked the assistant sleepily. By way of answer Jackson
+      hurried out and returned with the yellow envelope. The assistant opened it
+      and read as follows:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Send 1,500 units Diphtheritic Serum to me by morning train. Don't fail.
+      Utmost importance.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      J. S. MORGAN.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Dr. Payson sprang out of bed, and running to the table took up the Railway
+      Guide, turned to the pages devoted to the O. C. and C. C. Railroad and ran
+      his finger down the printed tables. The morning train for Cape Cod left at
+      7:10. It was 6:45 at that moment. As has been said, the assistant had
+      considerable common sense. He proved this by wasting no time in telling
+      the forgetful Jackson what he thought of him. He sent the latter after a
+      cab and proceeded to dress in double-quick time. Ten minutes later he was
+      on his way to the station with the little wooden case containing the
+      precious antitoxin, wrapped and addressed, in his pocket.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      It was seven by the Arlington Street Church clock as the cab rattled down
+      Boylston Street. A tangle of a trolley car and a market wagon delayed it
+      momentarily at Harrison Avenue and Essex Street. Dr. Payson, leaning out
+      as the carriage swung into Dewey Square, saw by the big clock on the Union
+      Station that it was 7:13. He had lost the train.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Now, the assistant had been assistant long enough to know that excuses&mdash;in
+      the ordinary sense of the word&mdash;did not pass current with Dr. Morgan.
+      That gentleman had telegraphed for antitoxin, and said it was important
+      that he should have it; therefore, antitoxin must be sent in spite of
+      time-tables and forgetful butlers. Dr. Payson went into the waiting room
+      and sat down to think. After a moment's deliberation he went over to the
+      ticket office and asked:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What is the first stop of the Cape Cod express?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Brockboro,&rdquo; answered the ticket seller.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Is the train usually on time?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, I should smile. That's Charlie Mills's train, and the old man ain't
+      been conductor on this road twenty-two years for nothin'.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Mills? Does he live on Shawmut Avenue?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Dunno. Billy, where does Charlie Mills live?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Somewhere at the South End. Shawmut Avenue, I think.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Thank you,&rdquo; said the assistant, and, helping himself to a time-table, he
+      went back rejoicing to his seat in the waiting room. He had stumbled upon
+      an unexpected bit of luck.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      There might be another story written in connection with this one; the
+      story of a veteran railroad man whose daughter had been very, very ill
+      with a dreaded disease of the lungs, and who, when other physicians had
+      given up hope, had been brought back to health by a celebrated specialist
+      of our acquaintance. But this story cannot be told just now; suffice it to
+      say that Conductor Charlie Mills had vowed that he would put his neck
+      beneath the wheels of his own express train, if by so doing he could
+      confer a favor on Dr. John Spencer Morgan.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The assistant saw by his time-table that the Cape Cod express reached
+      Brockboro at 8:05. He went over to the telegraph office and wrote two
+      telegrams. The first read like this:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      CALVIN S. WISE, The People's Drug Store, 28 Broad Street, Brockboro,
+      Mass.:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Send package 1,500 units Diphtheritic Serum marked with my name to
+      station. Hand to Conductor Mills, Cape Cod express. Train will wait.
+      Matter life and death.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The second telegram was to Conductor Mills. It read:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Hold train Brockboro to await arrival C. A. Wise. Great personal favor.
+      Very important.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Both of these dispatches were signed with the magic name, &ldquo;J. S. Morgan,
+      M.D.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said the assistant as he rode back to his office, &ldquo;I don't know
+      whether Wise will get the stuff to the train in time, or whether Mills
+      will wait for him, but at any rate I've done my part. I hope breakfast is
+      ready, I'm hungry.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Wise, of &ldquo;The People's Drug Store,&rdquo; had exactly two minutes in which
+      to cover the three-quarters of a mile to the station. As a matter of
+      course, he was late. Inquiring for Conductor Mills, he was met by a
+      red-faced man in uniform, who, watch in hand, demanded what in the vale of
+      eternal torment he meant by keeping him waiting eight minutes.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Do you realize,&rdquo; demanded the red-faced man, &ldquo;that I'm liable to lose my
+      job? I'll have you to understand that if any other man than Doc. Morgan
+      asked me to hold up the Cape Cod express, I'd tell him to go right plumb
+      to&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Here Mr. Wise interrupted to hand over the package and explain that it was
+      a matter of life and death. Conductor Mills only grunted as he swung
+      aboard the train.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hump her, Jim,&rdquo; he said to the engineer; &ldquo;she's got to make up those
+      eight minutes.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      And Jim did.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And so it happened that on the morning of the Fourth of July, Dusenberry's
+      birthday, Captain Hiram Baker and his wife sat together in the sitting
+      room, with very happy faces. The Captain had in his hands the &ldquo;truly boat
+      with sails,&rdquo; which the little first mate had so ardently wished for.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      She was a wonder, that boat. Red hull, real lead on the keel, brass rings
+      on the masts, reef points on the main and fore sail, jib, flying jib and
+      topsails, all complete. And on the stern was the name, &ldquo;Dusenberry. East
+      Harniss.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Hiram set her down in front of him on the floor.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Gee!&rdquo; he exclaimed, &ldquo;won't his eyes stick out when he sees that rig, hey?
+      Wisht he would be well enough to see it to-day, same as we planned.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, Hiram,&rdquo; said Sophrony, &ldquo;we hadn't ought to complain. We'd ought to
+      be thankful he's goin' to get well at all. Dr. Morgan says, thanks to that
+      blessed toxing stuff, he'll be up and around in a couple of weeks.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sophrony,&rdquo; said her husband, &ldquo;we'll have a special birthday celebration
+      for him when he gets all well. You can bake the frosted cake and we'll
+      have some of the other children in. I TOLD you God wouldn't be cruel
+      enough to take him away.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      And this is how Fate and the medical profession and the O. C. and C. C.
+      Railroad combined to give little Hiram Joash Baker his birthday, and
+      explains why, as he strolled down Main Street that afternoon, Captain
+      Hiram was heard to sing heartily:
+    </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+     Haul on the bowline, the 'Phrony is a-rollin',
+     Haul on the bowline, the bowline, HAUL!
+</pre>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0014" id="link2HCH0014">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER XIV
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      EFFIE'S FATE
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Surely, but very, very slowly, the little Berry house moved on its rollers
+      up the Hill Boulevard. Right at its heels&mdash;if a house may be said to
+      have heels&mdash;came the &ldquo;pure Colonial,&rdquo; under the guidance of the
+      foreman with &ldquo;progressive methods.&rdquo; Groups of idlers, male and female,
+      stood about and commented. Simeon Phinney smilingly replied to their
+      questions. Captain Sol himself seemed little interested. He spent most of
+      his daylight time at the depot, only going to the Higginses' house for his
+      meals. At night, after the station was closed, he sought his own dwelling,
+      climbed over the joist and rollers, entered, retired to his room, and went
+      to bed.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Each day also he grew more taciturn. Even with Simeon, his particular
+      friend, he talked little.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What IS the matter with you, Sol?&rdquo; asked Mr. Phinney. &ldquo;You're as glum as
+      a tongue-tied parrot. Ain't you satisfied with the way I'm doin' your
+      movin'? The white horse can go back again if you say so.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I'm satisfied,&rdquo; grunted the depot master. &ldquo;Let you know when I've got any
+      fault to find. How soon will you get abreast the&mdash;abreast the Seabury
+      lot?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Let's see,&rdquo; mused the building mover. &ldquo;Today's the eighth. Well, I'll be
+      there by the eleventh, SURE. Can't drag it out no longer, Sol, even if the
+      other horse is took sick. 'Twon't do. Williams has been complainin' to the
+      selectmen and they're beginnin' to pester me. As for that Colt and Adams
+      foreman&mdash;whew!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He whistled. His companion smiled grimly.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Williams himself drops in to see me occasional,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Tells me what
+      he thinks of me, with all the trimmin's added. I cal'late he gets as good
+      as he sends. I'm always glad to see him; he keeps me cheered up, in his
+      way.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ye-es, I shouldn't wonder. Was he in to-day?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He was. And somethin' has pleased him, I guess. At any rate he was in
+      better spirits. Asked me if I was goin' to move right onto that Main
+      Street lot soon as my house got there.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What did you say?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I said I was cal'latin' to. Told him I hated to get out of the
+      high-society circles I'd been livin' in lately, but that everyone had
+      their comedowns in this world.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ho, ho! that was a good one. What answer did he make to that?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, he said the 'high society' would miss me. Then he finished up with
+      a piece of advice. 'Berry,' says he, 'don't move onto that lot TOO quick.
+      I wouldn't if I was you.' Then he went away, chucklin'.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Chucklin', hey? What made him so joyful?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Don't know&rdquo;&mdash;Captain Sol's face clouded once more&mdash;&ldquo;and I care
+      less,&rdquo; he added brusquely.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Simeon pondered. &ldquo;Have you heard from Abner Payne, Sol?&rdquo; he asked. &ldquo;Has Ab
+      answered that letter you wrote sayin' you'd swap your lot for the Main
+      Street one?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No, he hasn't. I wrote him that day I told you to move me.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hum! that's kind of funny. You don't s'pose&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He stopped, noticing the expression on his friend's face. The depot master
+      was looking out through the open door of the waiting room. On the opposite
+      side of the road, just emerging from Mr. Higgins's &ldquo;general store,&rdquo; was
+      Olive Edwards, the widow whose home was to be pulled down as soon as the
+      &ldquo;Colonial&rdquo; reached its destination. She came out of the store and started
+      up Main Street. Suddenly, and as if obeying an involuntary impulse, she
+      turned her head. Her eyes met those of Captain Sol Berry, the depot
+      master. For a brief instant their glance met, then Mrs. Edwards hurried
+      on.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Sim Phinney sighed pityingly. &ldquo;Looks kind of tired and worried, don't
+      she?&rdquo; he ventured. His friend did not speak.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I say,&rdquo; repeated Phinney, &ldquo;that Olive looks sort of worn out and&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Has she heard from the Omaha cousin yet?&rdquo; interrupted the depot master.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No; Mr. Hilton says not. Sol, what DO you s'pose&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      But Captain Sol had risen and gone into the ticket office. The door closed
+      behind him. Mr. Phinney shook his head and walked out of the building. On
+      his way back to the scene of the house moving he shook his head several
+      times.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      On the afternoon of the ninth Captain Bailey Stitt and his friend Wingate
+      came to say good-by. Stitt was going back to Orham on the &ldquo;up&rdquo; train, due
+      at 3:30. Barzilla would return to Wellmouth and the Old Home House on the
+      evening (the &ldquo;down&rdquo;) train.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hey, Sol!&rdquo; shouted Wingate, as they entered the waiting room. &ldquo;Sol! where
+      be you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The depot master came out of the ticket office. &ldquo;Hello, boys!&rdquo; he said
+      shortly.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hello, Sol!&rdquo; hailed Stitt. &ldquo;Barzilla and me have come to shed the
+      farewell tear. As hirelin's of soulless corporations, meanin' the Old Home
+      House at Wellmouth and the Ocean House at Orham, we've engaged all the
+      shellfish along-shore and are goin' to clear out.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; chimed in his fellow &ldquo;hireling,&rdquo; &ldquo;and we thought the pleasantest
+      place to put in our few remainin' hours&mdash;as the papers say when a
+      feller's goin' to be hung&mdash;was with you.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I thought so,&rdquo; said Captain Bailey, with a wink. &ldquo;We've been havin' more
+      or less of an argument, Sol. Remember how Barzilla made fun of Jonadab
+      Wixon for believin' in dreams? Yes, well that was only make believe. He
+      believes in 'em himself.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I don't either,&rdquo; declared Wingate. &ldquo;And I never said so. What I said was
+      that sometimes it almost seemed as if there was somethin' IN fortune
+      tellin' and such.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There is,&rdquo; chuckled Bailey with another wink at the depot master.
+      &ldquo;There's money in it&mdash;for the fortune tellers.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I said&mdash;and I say again,&rdquo; protested Barzilla, &ldquo;that I knew a case at
+      our hotel of a servant girl named Effie, and she&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Oh, Heavens to Betsy! Here he goes again, I steered him in here on
+      purpose, Sol, so's he'd get off that subject.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You never neither. You said&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The depot master held up his hand. &ldquo;Don't both talk at once,&rdquo; he
+      commanded. &ldquo;Set down and be peaceful, can't you. That's right. What about
+      this Effie, Barzilla?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Now look here!&rdquo; protested Stitt.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Shut up, Bailey! Who was Effie, Barzilla?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She was third assistant roustabout and table girl at the Old Home House,&rdquo;
+       said Wingate triumphantly. &ldquo;Got another cigar, Sol? Thanks. Yes, this
+      Effie had never worked out afore and she was greener'n a mess of spinach;
+      but she was kind of pretty to look at and&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ah, ha!&rdquo; crowed Captain Bailey, &ldquo;here comes the heart confessions. Want
+      to look out for these old bachelors, Sol. Fire away, Barzilla; let us know
+      the worst.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I took a fancy to her, in a way. She got in the habit of tellin' me her
+      troubles and secrets, me bein' old enough to be her dad&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Aw, yes!&rdquo; this from Stitt, the irrepressible. &ldquo;That's an old gag. We know&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;WILL you shut up?&rdquo; demanded Captain Sol. &ldquo;Go on, Barzilla.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Me bein' old enough to be her dad,&rdquo; with a glare at Captain Bailey, &ldquo;and
+      not bein' too proud to talk with hired help. I never did have that
+      high-toned notion. 'Twa'n't so long since I was a fo'mast hand.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So Effie told me a lot about herself. Seems she'd been over to the Cattle
+      Show at Ostable one year, and she was loaded to the gunwale with some more
+      or less facts that a fortune-tellin' specimen by the name of the
+      'Marvelous Oriental Seer' had handed her in exchange for a quarter.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yup,' says she, bobbin' her head so emphatic that the sky-blue ribbon
+      pennants on her black hair flapped like a loose tops'l in a gale of wind.
+      'Yup,' says she, 'I b'lieve it just as much as I b'lieve anything. How
+      could I help it when he told me so much that has come true already? He
+      said I'd seen trouble, and the dear land knows that's so! and that I might
+      see more, and I cal'late that's pretty average likely. And he said I
+      hadn't been brought up in luxury&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Which wa'n't no exaggeration neither,' I put in, thinkin' of the shack
+      over on the Neck Road where she and her folks used to live.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No,' says she; 'and he told me I'd always had longin's for better and
+      higher things and that my intellectuals was above my station. Well, ever
+      sence I was knee high to a kitchen chair I'd ruther work upstairs than
+      down, and as for intellectuals, ma always said I was the smartest young
+      one she'd raised yet. So them statements give me consider'ble confidence.
+      But he give out that I was to make a journey and get money, and when THAT
+      come true I held up both hands and stood ready to swaller all the rest of
+      it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'So it come true, did it?' says I.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Um-hm,' says she, bouncin' her head again. 'Inside of four year I
+      traveled 'way over to South Eastboro&mdash;'most twelve mile&mdash;to my
+      Uncle Issy's fun'ral, and there I found that he'd left me nine hundred
+      dollars for my very own. And down I flops on the parlor sofy and says I:
+      &ldquo;There! don't talk superstition to ME no more! A person that can foretell
+      Uncle Issy's givin' anybody a cent, let alone nine hundred dollars, is a
+      good enough prophet for ME to tie to. Now I KNOW that I'm going to marry
+      the dark-complected man, and I'll be ready for him when he comes along. I
+      never spent a quarter no better than when I handed it over to that
+      Oriental Seer critter at the Cattle Show.&rdquo; That's what I said then and I
+      b'lieve it yet. Wouldn't you feel the same way?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I said sure thing I would. I'd found out that the best way to keep
+      Effie's talk shop runnin' was to agree with her. And I liked to hear her
+      talk.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yup,' she went on, 'I give right in then. I'd traveled same as the
+      fortune teller said, and I'd got more money'n I ever expected to see, let
+      alone own. And ever sence I've been sartin as I'm alive that the feller I
+      marry will be of a rank higher'n mine and dark complected and good-lookin'
+      and distinguished, and that he'll be name of Butler.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Butler?' says I. 'What will he be named Butler for?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;''Cause the Seer critter said so. He said he could see the word Butler
+      printed out over the top of my head in flamin' letters. Pa used to say
+      'twas a wonder it never set fire to my crimps, but he was only foolin'. I
+      know that it's all comin' out true. You ain't acquaintanced to any
+      Butlers, are you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No,' says I. 'I heard Ben Butler make a speech once when he was gov'nor,
+      but he's dead now. There ain't no Butlers on the Old Home shippin' lists.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, I know that!' she says. 'And everybody round here is homelier'n a
+      moultin' pullet. There now! I didn't mean exactly EVERYbody, of course.
+      But you ain't dark complected, you know, nor&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No,' says I, 'nor rank nor distinguished neither. Course the handsome
+      part might fit me, but I'd have to pass on the rest of the hand. That's
+      all right, Effie; my feelin's have got fire-proofed sence I've been in the
+      summer hotel business. Now you'd better run along and report to Susannah.
+      I hear her whoopin' for you, and she don't light like a canary bird on the
+      party she's mad with.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She didn't, that was a fact. Susannah Debs, who was housekeeper for us
+      that year, was middlin' young and middlin' good-lookin', and couldn't
+      forget it. Also and likewise, she had a suit for damages against the
+      railroad, which she had hopes would fetch her money some day or other, and
+      she couldn't forget that neither. She was skipper of all the hired hands
+      and, bein' as Effie was prettier than she was, never lost a chance to lay
+      the poor girl out. She put the other help up to pokin' fun at Effie's
+      green ways and high-toned notions, and 'twas her that started 'em callin'
+      her 'Lady Evelyn' in the fo'castle&mdash;servants' quarters, I mean.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I'm a-comin', 'screams Effie, startin' for the door. 'Susannah's in a
+      tearin' hurry to get through early to-day,' she adds to me. 'She's got the
+      afternoon off, and her beau's comin' to take her buggy ridin'. He's from
+      over Harniss way somewheres and they say he's just lovely. My sakes! I
+      wisht somebody'd take ME to ride. Ah hum! cal'late I'll have to wait for
+      my Butler man. Say, Mr. Wingate, you won't mention my fortune to a soul,
+      will you? I never told anybody but you.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I promised to keep mum and she cleared out. After dinner, as I was
+      smokin', along with Cap'n Jonadab, on the side piazza, a horse and buggy
+      drove in at the back gate. A young chap with black curly hair was pilotin'
+      the craft. He was a stranger to me, wore a checkerboard suit and a bonfire
+      necktie, and had his hat twisted over one ear. Altogether he looked some
+      like a sunflower goin' to seed.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Who's that barber's sign when it's to home?' says I to Jonadab. He
+      snorted contemptuous.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'That?' he says. 'Don't you know the cut of that critter's jib? He plays
+      pool &ldquo;for the house&rdquo; in Web Saunders's place over to Orham. He's the
+      housekeeper's steady comp'ny&mdash;steady by spells, if all I hear's true.
+      Good-for-nothin' cub, I call him. Wisht I'd had him aboard a vessel of
+      mine; I'd 'a' squared his yards for him. Look how he cants his hat to
+      starboard so's to show them lovelocks. Bah!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What's his name?' I asks.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Name? Name's Butler&mdash;Simeon Butler. Don't you remember . . . Hey?
+      What in tunket . . .?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Both of us had jumped as if somebody'd touched off a bombshell under our
+      main hatches. The windows of the dining room was right astern of us. We
+      whirled round, and there was Effie. She'd been clearin' off one of the
+      tables and there she stood, with the smashed pieces of an ice-cream
+      platter in front of her, the melted cream sloppin' over her shoes, and her
+      face lookin' like the picture of Lot's wife just turnin' to salt. Only
+      Effie looked as if she enjoyed the turnin'. She never spoke nor moved,
+      just stared after that buggy with her black eyes sparklin' like burnt
+      holes in a blanket.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I was too astonished to say anything, but Jonadab had his eye on that
+      smashed platter and HE had things to say, plenty of 'em. I walked off and
+      left Effie playin' congregation to a sermon on the text 'Crockery costs
+      money.' You'd think that ice-cream dish was a genuine ugly, nicked
+      'antique' wuth any city loon's ten dollars, instead of bein' only new and
+      pretty fifty-cent china. I felt real sorry for the poor girl.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But I needn't have been. That evenin' I found her on the back steps, all
+      Sunday duds and airs. Her hair had a wire friz on it, and her dress had
+      Joseph's coat in Scriptur' lookin' like a mournin' rig. She'd have been
+      real handsome&mdash;to a body that was color blind.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'My, Effie!' says I, 'you sartin do look fine to-night.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yup,' she says, contented, 'I guess likely I do. Hope so, 'cause I'm
+      wearin' all I've got. Say, Mr. Wingate,' says she, excited as a cat in a
+      fit, 'did you see him?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Him?' says I. 'Who's him?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Why, HIM! The one the Seer said was comin'. The handsome,
+      dark-complected feller I'm goin' to marry. The Butler one. That was him in
+      the buggy this afternoon.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I looked at her. I'd forgot all about the fool prophecy.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Good land of love!' I says. 'You don't cal'late he's comin' to marry
+      YOU, do you, just 'cause his name's Butler? There's ten thousand Butlers
+      in the world. Besides, your particular one was slated to be high ranked
+      and distinguished, and this specimen scrubs up the billiard-room floor and
+      ain't no more distinguished than a poorhouse pig.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Ain't?' she sings out. 'Ain't distinguished? With all them beautiful
+      curls, and rings on his fingers, and&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Bells on his toes? No!' says I, emphatic. 'Anyhow, he's signed for the
+      v'yage already. He's Susannah Debs's steady, and they're off buggy ridin'
+      together right now. And if she catches you makin' eyes at her best feller&mdash;Whew!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Didn't make no difference. He was her Butler, sure. 'Twas Fate&mdash;that's
+      what 'twas&mdash;Fate, just the same as in storybooks. She was sorry for
+      poor Susannah and she wouldn't do nothin' mean nor underhanded; but
+      couldn't I understand that 'twas all planned out for her by Providence and
+      that everlastin' Seer? Just let me watch and see, that's all.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What can you do with an idiot like that? I walked off disgusted and left
+      her. But I cal'lated to watch. I judged 'twould be more fun than any
+      'play-actin' show ever I took in.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And 'twas, in a way. Don't ask me how they got acquainted, 'cause I can't
+      tell you for sartin. Nigh's I can learn, Susannah and Sim had some sort of
+      lover's row durin' their buggy ride, and when they got back to the hotel
+      they was scurcely on speakin' terms. And Sim, who always had a watch out
+      for'ard for pretty girls, see Effie standin' on the servants' porch all
+      togged up regardless and gay as a tea-store chromo, and nothin' to do but
+      he must be introduced. One of the stable hands done the introducin', I
+      b'lieve, and if he'd have been hung afterwards 'twould have sarved him
+      right.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Anyhow, inside of a week Butler come round again to take a lady friend
+      drivin', but this time 'twas Effie, not the housekeeper, that was
+      passenger. And Susannah glared after 'em like a cat after a sparrow, and
+      the very next day she was for havin' Effie discharged for
+      incompetentiveness. I give Jonadab the tip, though, so that didn't go
+      through. But I cal'late there was a parrot and monkey time among the help
+      from then on.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;They all sided with Susannah, of course. She was their boss, for one
+      thing, and 'Lady Evelyn's' high-minded notions wa'n't popular, for
+      another. But Effie didn't care&mdash;bless you, no! She and that Butler
+      sport was together more and more, and the next thing I heard was that they
+      was engaged. I snum, if it didn't look as if the Oriental man knew his job
+      after all.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I spoke to the stable hand about it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Look here,' says I, 'is this business betwixt that pool player and our
+      Effie serious?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He laughed. 'Serious enough, I guess,' he says. 'They're goin' to be
+      married pretty soon, I hear. It's all 'cordin' to the law and the
+      prophets. Ain't you heard about the fortune tellin' and how 'twas foretold
+      she'd marry a Butler?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I'd heard, but I didn't s'pose he had. However, it seemed that Effie
+      hadn't been able to keep it to herself no longer. Soon as she'd hooked her
+      man she'd blabbed the whole thing. The fo'mast hands wa'n't talkin' of
+      nothin' else, so this feller said.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Humph!' says I. 'Is it the prophecy that Butler's bankin' on?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He laughed again. 'Not so much as on Lady Evelyn's nine hundred, I
+      cal'late,' says he. Sim likes Susannah the best of the two, so we all
+      reckon, but she ain't rich and Effie is. And yet, if the Debs woman should
+      win that lawsuit of hers against the railroad she'd have pretty nigh twice
+      as much. Butler's a fool not to wait, I think,' he says.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;This was of a Monday. On Friday evenin' Effie comes around to see me. I
+      was alone in the office.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Mr. Wingate,' she says, 'I'm goin' to leave to-morrer night. I'm goin'
+      to be married on Sunday.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I'd been expecting it, but I couldn't help feelin' sorry for her.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Don't do nothin' rash, Effie,' I told her. 'Are you sure that Butler
+      critter cares anything about you and not your money?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She flared up like a tar barrel. 'The idea!' she says, turnin' red. 'I
+      just come in to give you warnin'. Good-by.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hold on,' I sung out to her. 'Effie, I've thought consider'ble about you
+      lately. I've been tryin' to help you a little on the sly. I realized that
+      'twa'n't pleasant for you workin' here under Susannah Debs, and I've been
+      tryin' to find a nice place for you. I wrote about you to Bob Van
+      Wedderburn; he's the rich banker chap who stopped here one summer.
+      &ldquo;Jonesy,&rdquo; we used to call him. I know him and his wife fust rate, and he'd
+      do 'most anything as a favor to me. I told him what a neat, handy girl you
+      was, and he writes that he'll give you the job of second girl at his swell
+      New York house, if you want it. Now you just hand that Sim Butler his
+      clearance papers and go work for Bob's wife. The wages are double what you
+      get here, and&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She didn't wait to hear the rest. Just sailed out of the room with her
+      nose in the air. In a minute, though, back she come and just put her head
+      in the door.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I'm much obliged to you, Mr. Wingate,' says she. 'I know you mean well.
+      But you ain't had your fate foretold, same's I have. It's all been
+      arranged for me, and I couldn't stop it no more'n Jonah could help
+      swallerin' the whale. I&mdash;I kind of wish you'd be on hand at the back
+      door on Sunday mornin' when Simeon comes to take me away. You&mdash;you're
+      about the only real friend I've got,' she says.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And off she went, for good this time. I pitied her, in spite of her bein'
+      such a dough head. I knew what sort of a husband that pool-room shark
+      would make. However, there wa'n't nothin' to be done. And next day Cap'n
+      Jonadab was round, madder'n a licked pup. Seems Susannah's lawyer at Orham
+      had sent for her to come right off and see him. Somethin' about the suit,
+      it was. And she was goin' in spite of everything. And with Effie's leavin'
+      at the same time, what was we goin' to do over Sunday? and so forth and so
+      on.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, we had to do the best we could, that's all. But that Saturday was
+      busy, now I tell you. Sunday mornin' broke fine and clear and, after
+      breakfast was over, I remembered Effie and that 'twas her weddin' day. On
+      the back steps I found her, dressed in all her grandeur, with her packed
+      trunk ready, waitin' for the bridegroom.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Ain't come yet, hey, Effie?' says I.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No,' says she, smilin' and radiant. 'It's a little early for him yet, I
+      guess.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I went off to 'tend to the boarders. At half past ten, when I made the
+      back steps again, she was still there. T'other servants was peekin' out of
+      the kitchen windows, grinnin' and passin' remarks.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hello!' I calls out. 'Not married yet? What's the matter?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She'd stopped smilin', but she was as chipper as ever, to all
+      appearances.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I&mdash;I guess the horse has gone lame or somethin',' says she. 'He'll
+      be here any time now.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There was a cackle from the kitchen windows. I never said nothin'. She'd
+      made her nest; now let her roost on it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But at twelve Butler hadn't hove in sight. Every hand, male and female,
+      on the place, that wa'n't busy, was hangin' around the back of the hotel,
+      waitin' and watchin' and ridiculin' and havin' a high time. Them that had
+      errands made it a p'int to cruise past that way. Lots of the boarders had
+      got wind of the doin's, and they was there, too.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Effie was settin' on her trunk, tryin' hard to look brave. I went up and
+      spoke to her.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Come, my girl,' says I. 'Don't set here no longer. Come into the house
+      and wait. Hadn't you better?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No!' says she, loud and defiant like. 'No, sir! It's all right. He's a
+      little late, that's all. What do you s'pose I care for a lot of jealous
+      folks like those up there?' wavin' her flipper scornful toward the
+      kitchen.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And then, all to once, she kind of broke down, and says to me, with a
+      pitiful sort of choke in her voice:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, Mr. Wingate! I can't stand this. Why DON'T he come?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I tried hard to think of somethin' comfortin' to say, but afore I could
+      h'ist a satisfyin' word out of my hatches I heard the noise of a carriage
+      comin'. Effie heard it, too, and so did everybody else. We all looked
+      toward the gate. 'Twas Sim Butler, sure enough, in his buggy and drivin'
+      the same old horse; but settin' alongside of him on the seat was Susannah
+      Debs, the housekeeper. And maybe she didn't look contented with things in
+      gen'ral!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Butler pulled up his horse by the gate. Him and Susannah bowed to all
+      hands. Nobody said anything for a minute. Then Effie bounced off the trunk
+      and down them steps.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Simmie' she sung out, breathless like, 'Simeon Butler, what does this
+      mean?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The Debs woman straightened up on the seat. 'Thank you, marm,' says she,
+      chilly as the top section of an ice chest, 'I'll request you not to call
+      my husband by his first name.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It was so still you could have heard yourself grow. Effie turned white as
+      a Sunday tablecloth.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Your&mdash;husband?' she gasps. 'Your&mdash;your HUSBAND?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes, marm,' purrs the housekeeper. 'My husband was what I said. Mr.
+      Butler and me have just been married.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Sorry, Effie, old girl,' puts in Butler, so sassy I'd love to have
+      preached his fun'ral sermon. 'Too bad, but fust love's strongest, you
+      know. Susie and me was engaged long afore you come to town.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;THEN such a haw-haw and whoop bust from the kitchen and fo'castle as you
+      never heard. For a jiffy poor Effie wilted right down. Then she braced up
+      and her black eyes snapped.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I wish you joy of your bargain, marm,' says she to Susannah. 'You'd
+      ought to be proud of it. And as for YOU,' she says, swingin' round toward
+      the rest of the help, 'I&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'How 'bout that prophet?' hollers somebody.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Three cheers for the Oriental!' bellers somebody else.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'When you marry the right Butler fetch him along and let us see him!'
+      whoops another.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She faced 'em all, and I gloried in her spunk.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'When I marry him I WILL come back,' says she. 'And when I do you'll have
+      to get down on your knees and wait on me. You&mdash;and you&mdash;Yes, and
+      YOU, too!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The last two 'yous' was hove at Sim and Susannah. Then she turned and
+      marched into the hotel. And the way them hired hands carried on was
+      somethin' scandalous&mdash;till I stepped in and took charge of the deck.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That very afternoon I put Effie and her trunk aboard the train. I paid
+      her fare to New York and give her directions how to locate the Van
+      Wedderburns.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'So long, Effie,' says I to her. 'It's all right. You're enough sight
+      better off. All you want to do now is to work hard and forget all that
+      fortune-tellin' foolishness.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She whirled on me like a top.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Forget it!' she says. 'I GUESS I shan't forget it! It's comin' true, I
+      tell you&mdash;same as all the rest come true. You said yourself there was
+      ten thousand Butlers in the world. Some day the right one&mdash;the
+      handsome, high-ranked, distinguished one&mdash;will come along, and I'll
+      get him. You wait and see, Mr. Wingate&mdash;just you wait and see.'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0015" id="link2HCH0015">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER XV
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      THE &ldquo;HERO&rdquo; AND THE COWBOY
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So that was the end of it, hey?&rdquo; said Captain Bailey. &ldquo;Well, it's what
+      you might expect, but it wa'n't much to be so anxious to tell; and as for
+      PROVIN' anything about fortune tellin'&mdash;why&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It AIN'T the end,&rdquo; shouted the exasperated Barzilla. &ldquo;Not nigh the end.
+      'Twas the beginnin'. The housekeeper left us that day, of course, and for
+      the rest of that summer the servant question kept me and Jonadab from
+      thinkin' of other things. Course, the reason for the Butler scamp's sudden
+      switch was plain enough. Susannah's lawyer had settled the case with the
+      railroad and, even after his fee was subtracted, there was fifteen hundred
+      left. That was enough sight better'n nine hundred, so Sim figgered when he
+      heard of it; and he hustled to make up with his old girl.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Fifteen hundred dollars doesn't last long with some folks. At the
+      beginnin' of the next spring season both of 'em was round huntin' jobs.
+      Susannah was a fust-rate waitress, so we hired her for that&mdash;no more
+      housekeeper for hers, and served her right. As for her husband, we took
+      him on in the stable. He wouldn't have been wuth his salt if it hadn't
+      been for her. She said she'd keep him movin' and she did. She nagged and
+      henpecked him till I'd have been sorry if 'twas anybody else; as 'twas, I
+      got consider'ble satisfaction out of it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I got one letter from Effie pretty soon after she left, sayin' she liked
+      her new job and that the Van Wedderburns liked her. And that's all I did
+      hear, though Bob himself wrote me in May, sayin' him and Mabel, his wife,
+      had bought a summer cottage in Wapatomac, and me and Jonadab&mdash;especially
+      me&mdash;must be sure and come to see it and them. He never mentioned his
+      second girl, and I almost forgot her myself.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But one afternoon in early July a big six-cylinder automobile come
+      sailin' down the road and into the Old Home House yard. A shofer&mdash;I
+      b'lieve that's what they call the tribe&mdash;was at the helm of it, and
+      on the back seat, lollin' luxurious against the upholstery, was a man and
+      a woman, got up regardless in silk dusters and goggles and veils and
+      prosperity. I never expect to see the Prince of Wales and his wife, but I
+      know how they'd look&mdash;after seein' them two.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Jonadab was at the bottom step to welcome 'em, bowin' and scrapin' as if
+      his middle j'int had just been iled. I wa'n't fur astern, and every
+      boarder on deck was all eyes and envy.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The shofer opens the door of the after cockpit of the machine, and the
+      man gets out fust, treadin' gingerly but grand, as if he was doin' the
+      ground a condescension by steppin' on it. Then he turns to the woman and
+      she slides out, her duds rustlin' like the wind in a scrub oak. The pair
+      sails up the steps, Jonadab and me backin' and fillin' in front of 'em.
+      All the help that could get to a window to peek had knocked off work to do
+      it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Ahem!' says the man, pompous as Julius Caesar&mdash;he was big and
+      straight and fine lookin' and had black side whiskers half mast on his
+      cheeks&mdash;ahem!' says he. 'I say, good people, may we have dinner
+      here?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, they tell us time and tide waits for no man, but prob'ly that don't
+      include the nobility. Anyhow, although 'twas long past our reg'lar dinner
+      time, I heard Jonadab tellin' 'em sure and sartin they could. If they
+      wouldn't mind settin' on the piazza or in the front parlor for a spell,
+      he'd have somethin' prepared in a jiffy. So up to the piazza they paraded
+      and come to anchor in a couple of chairs.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You can have your automobile put right into the barn,' I says, 'if you
+      want to.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I don't know as it will be necessary&mdash;' began the big feller, but
+      the woman interrupted him. She was starin' through her thick veil at the
+      barn door. Sim Butler, in his overalls and ragged shirt sleeves, was
+      leanin' against that door, interested as the rest of us in what was goin'
+      on.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I would have it put there, I think,' says the woman, lofty and superior.
+      'It is rather dusty, and I think the wheels ought to be washed. Can that
+      man be trusted to wash 'em?' she asks, pointin' kind of scornful at
+      Simeon.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes, marm, I cal'late so,' I says. 'Here, Sim!' I sung out, callin'
+      Butler over to the steps. 'Can you wash the dust off them wheels?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He said course he could, but he didn't act joyful over the job. The woman
+      seemed some doubtful.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'He looks like a very ignorant, common person,' says she, loud and clear,
+      so that everybody, includin' the 'ignorant person' himself, could hear
+      her. 'However, James'll superintend. James,' she orders the shofer, 'you
+      see that it is well done, won't you? Make him be very careful.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;James looked Butler over from head to foot. 'Humph!' he sniffs,
+      contemptuous, with a kind of half grin on his face. 'Yes, marm, I'll 'tend
+      to it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So he steered the auto into the barn, and Simeon got busy. Judgin' by the
+      sharp language that drifted out through the door, 'twas plain that the
+      shofer was superintendin' all right.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Jonadab heaves in sight, bowin', and makes proclamation that dinner is
+      served. The pair riz up majestic and headed for the dinin' room. The woman
+      was a little astern of her man, and in the hall she turns brisk to me.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Mr. Wingate,' she whispers, 'Mr. Wingate.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I stared at her. Her voice had sounded sort of familiar ever sence I
+      heard it, but the veil kept a body from seein' what she looked like.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hey?' I sings out. 'Have I ever&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'S-s-h-h!' she whispers. 'Say, Mr. Wingate, that&mdash;that Susannah
+      thing is here, ain't she? Have her wait on us, will you, please?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And she swept the veil off her face. I choked up and staggered bang!
+      against the wall. I swan to man if it wa'n't Effie! EFFIE, in silks and
+      automobiles and gorgeousness!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Afore I could come to myself the two of 'em marched into that dining
+      room. I heard a grunt and a 'Land of love!' from just ahead of me. That
+      was Jonadab. And from all around that dinin' room come a sort of gasp and
+      then the sound of whisperin'. That was the help.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;They took a table by the window, which had been made ready. Down they set
+      like a king and a queen perchin' on thrones. One of the waiter girls went
+      over to em.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But I'd come out of my trance a little mite. The situation was miles
+      ahead of my brain, goodness knows, but the joke of it all was gettin' a
+      grip on me. I remembered what Effie had asked and I spoke up prompt.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Susannah,' says I, 'this is a particular job and we're anxious to
+      please. You'd better do the waitin' yourself.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I wish you could have seen the glare that ex-housekeeper give me. For a
+      second I thought we'd have open mutiny. But her place wa'n't any too
+      sartin and she didn't dare risk it. Over she walked to that table, and the
+      fun began.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Jonadab had laid himself out to make that meal a success, but they ate it
+      as if 'twas pretty poor stuff and not by no means what they fed on every
+      day. They found fault with 'most everything, but most especial with
+      Susannah's waitin'. My! how they did order her around&mdash;a mate on a
+      cattle boat wa'n't nothin' to it. And when 'twas all over and they got up
+      to go, Effie says, so's all hands can hear:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'The food here is not so bad, but the service&mdash;oh, horrors! However,
+      Albert,' says she to the side-whiskered man, 'you had better give the girl
+      our usual tip. She looks as if she needed it, poor thing!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then they paraded out of the room, and I see Susannah sling the half
+      dollar the man had left on the table clear to Jericho, it seemed like.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The auto was waitin' by the piazza steps. The shofer and Butler was
+      standin' by it. And when Sim see Effie with her veil throwed back he
+      pretty nigh fell under the wheels he'd been washin' so hard. And he looked
+      as if he wisht they'd run over him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, dear!' sighs Effie, lookin' scornful at the wheels. 'Not half clean,
+      just as I expected. I knew by the looks of that&mdash;that PERSON that he
+      wouldn't do it well. Don't give him much, Albert; he ain't earned it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;They climbed into the cockpit, the shofer took the helm, and they was
+      ready to start. But I couldn't let 'em go that way. Out I run.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Say&mdash;say, Effie!' I whispers, eager. 'For the goodness' sakes,
+      what's all this mean? Is that your&mdash;your&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'My husband? Yup,' she whispers back, her eyes shinin'. 'Didn't I tell
+      you to look out for my prophecy? Ain't he handsome and distinguished, just
+      as I said? Good-by, Mr. Wingate; maybe I'll see you again some day.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The machinery barked and they got under way. I run along for two steps
+      more.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But, Effie,' says I, 'tell me&mdash;is his name&mdash;?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She didn't answer. She was watchin' Sim Butler and his wife. Sim had
+      stooped to pick up the quarter the Prince of Wales had hove at him. And
+      that was too much for Susannah, who was watchin' from the window.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Don't you touch that money!' she screams. 'Don't you lay a finger on it!
+      Ain't you got any self-respect at all, you miser'ble, low-lived&mdash;'
+      and so forth and so on. All the way to the front gate I see Effie leanin'
+      out, lookin' and listenin' and smilin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then the machine buzzed off in a typhoon of dust and I went back to
+      Jonadab, who was a livin' catechism of questions which neither one of us
+      could answer.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So THAT'S the end!&rdquo; exclaimed Captain Bailey. &ldquo;Well&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No, it ain't the end&mdash;not even yet. Maybe it ought to be, but it
+      ain't. There's a little more of it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;A fortni't later I took a couple of days off and went up to Wapatomac to
+      visit the Van Wedderburns, same as I'd promised. Their 'cottage' was
+      pretty nigh big enough for a hotel, and was so grand that I, even if I did
+      have on my Sunday frills, was 'most ashamed to ring the doorbell.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But I did ring it, and the feller that opened the door was big and solemn
+      and fine lookin' and had side whiskers. Only this time he wore a tail coat
+      with brass buttons on it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;How do you do, Mr. Wingate?' says he. Step right in, sir, if you please.
+      Mr. and Mrs. Van Wedderburn are out in the auto, but they'll be back
+      shortly, and very glad to see you, sir, I'm sure. Let me take your grip
+      and hat. Step right into the reception room and wait, if you please, sir.
+      Perhaps,' he says, and there was a twinkle in his port eye, though the
+      rest of his face was sober as the front door of a church, 'perhaps,' says
+      he, 'you might wish to speak with my wife a moment. I'll take the liberty
+      of sendin' her to you, sir.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So, as I sat on the gunwale of a blue and gold chair, tryin' to settle
+      whether I was really crazy or only just dreamin', in bounces Effie, rigged
+      up in a servant's cap and apron. She looked polite and demure, but I could
+      see she was just bubblin' with the joy of the whole bus'ness.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Effie,' says I, 'Effie, what&mdash;what in the world&mdash;?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She giggled. 'Yup,' she says, 'I'm chambermaid here and they treat me
+      fine. Thank you very much for gettin' me the situation.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But&mdash;but them doin's the other day? That automobile&mdash;and them
+      silks and satins&mdash;and&mdash;?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Mr. Van Wedderburn lent 'em to me,' she said, 'him an' his wife. And he
+      lent us the auto and the shofer, too. I told him about my troubles at the
+      Old Home House and he thought 'twould be a great joke for me to travel
+      back there like a lady. He's awful fond of a joke&mdash;Mr. Van Wedderburn
+      is.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But that man?' I gasps. 'Your husband? That's what you said he was.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes,' says she, 'he is. We've been married 'most six months now. My
+      prophecy's all come true. And DIDN'T I rub it in on that Susannah Debs and
+      her scamp of a Sim? Ho! ho!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She clapped her hands and pretty nigh danced a jig, she was so tickled.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But is he a Butler?' I asks.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yup,' she nods, with another giggle. 'He's A butler, though his name's
+      Jenkins; and a butler's high rank&mdash;higher than chambermaid, anyhow.
+      You see, Mr. Wingate,' she adds, ''twas all my fault. When that Oriental
+      Seer man at the show said I was to marry a butler, I forgot to ask him
+      whether you spelt it with a big B or a little one.'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The unexpected manner in which Effie's pet prophecy had been fulfilled
+      amused Captain Sol immensely. He laughed so heartily that Issy McKay
+      looked in at the door with an expression of alarm on his face. The depot
+      master had laughed little during the past few days, and Issy was
+      surprised.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      But Captain Stitt was ready with a denial. He claimed that the prophecy
+      was NOT fulfilled and therefore all fortune telling was fraudulent.
+      Barzilla retorted hotly, and the argument began again. The two were
+      shouting at each other. Captain Sol stood it for a while and then
+      commanded silence.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Stop your yellin'!&rdquo; he ordered. &ldquo;What ails you fellers? Think you can
+      prove it better by screechin'? They can hear you half a mile. There's
+      Cornelius Rowe standin' gawpin' on the other side of the street this
+      minute. He thinks there's a fire or a riot, one or t'other. Let's change
+      the subject. See here, Bailey, didn't you start to tell us somethin' last
+      time you was in here about your ridin' in an automobile?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I started to&mdash;yes. But nobody'd listen. I rode in one and I sailed
+      in one. You see&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I'm goin' outdoor,&rdquo; declared Barzilla.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No, you're not. Bailey listened to you. Now you do as much for him. I
+      heard a little somethin' about the affair at the time it happened and I'd
+      like to hear the rest of it. How was it, Bailey?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Stitt knocked the ashes from his pipe.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; he began, &ldquo;I didn't know the critter was weak in his top riggin'
+      or I wouldn't have gone with him in the fust place. And he wa'n't real
+      loony, nuther. 'Twas only when he got aboard that&mdash;that ungodly,
+      kerosene-smellin', tootin', buzzin', Old Harry's gocart of his that the
+      craziness begun to show. There's so many of them weak-minded city folks
+      from the Ocean House comes perusin' 'round summers, nowadays, that I
+      cal'lated he was just an average specimen, and never examined him close.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Are all the Ocean House boarders weak-minded nowadays?&rdquo; asked the depot
+      master.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Wingate answered the question.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;My land!&rdquo; he snapped; &ldquo;would they board at the Ocean House if they WA'N'T
+      weak-minded?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Bailey did not deign to reply to this jibe. He continued calmly:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;This feller wa'n't an Ocean Houser, though. He was young Stumpton's
+      automobile skipper-shover, or shofer, or somethin' they called him. He
+      answered to the hail of Billings, and his home port was the Stumpton
+      ranch, 'way out in Montana. He'd been here in Orham only a couple of
+      weeks, havin' come plumb across the United States to fetch his boss the
+      new automobile. You see, 'twas early October. The Stumptons had left their
+      summer place on the Cliff Road, and was on their way South for the winter.
+      Young Stumpton was up to Boston, but he was comin' back in a couple of
+      days, and then him and the shover was goin' automobilin' to Florida. To
+      Florida, mind you! In that thing! If it was me I'd buy my ticket to Tophet
+      direct and save time and money.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, anyhow, this critter Billings, he ain't never smelt salt water
+      afore, and he don't like the smell. He makes proclamations that Orham is
+      nothin' but sand, slush, and soft drinks. He won't sail, he can't swim, he
+      won't fish; but he's hankerin' to shoot somethin', havin' been brought up
+      in a place where if you don't shoot some of the neighbors every day or so
+      folks think you're stuck up and dissociable. Then somebody tells him it's
+      the duckin' season down to Setuckit P'int, and he says he'll spend his day
+      off, while the boss is away, massycreein' the coots there. This same
+      somebody whispers that I know so much about ducks that I quack when I
+      talk, and he comes cruisin' over in the buzz cart to hire me for guide.
+      And&mdash;would you b'lieve it?&mdash;it turns out that he's cal'latin' to
+      make his duckin' v'yage in that very cart. I was for makin' the trip in a
+      boat, like a sensible man, but he wouldn't hear of it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Land of love!' says I. 'Go to Setuckit in a automobile?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Why not?' he says. 'The biscuit shooter up at the hotel tells me there's
+      a smart chance of folks goes there a-horseback. And where a hoss can
+      travel I reckon the old gal here'&mdash;slappin' the thwart of the auto
+      alongside of him&mdash;'can go, too!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But there's the Cut-through,' says I.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;''Tain't nothin' but a creek when the freshet's over, they tell me,' says
+      he. 'And me and the boss have forded four foot of river in this very
+      machine.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;By the 'freshet' bein' over I judged he meant the tide bein' out. And the
+      Cut-through ain't but a little trickle then, though it's a quarter mile
+      wide and deep enough to float a schooner at high water. It's the strip of
+      channel that makes Setuckit Beach an island, you know. The gov'ment has
+      had engineers down dredgin' of it out, and pretty soon fish boats'll be
+      able to save the twenty-mile sail around the P'int and into Orham Harbor
+      at all hours.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, to make a long story short, I agreed to let him cart me to Setuckit
+      P'int in that everlastin' gas carryall. We was to start at four o'clock in
+      the afternoon, 'cause the tide at the Cut-through would be dead low at
+      half-past four. We'd stay overnight at my shanty at the P'int, get up
+      airly, shoot all day, and come back the next afternoon.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;At four prompt he was on hand, ready for me. I loaded in the guns and
+      grub and one thing or 'nother, and then 'twas time for me to get aboard
+      myself.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You'll set in the tonneau,' says he, indicatin' the upholstered after
+      cockpit of the concern. I opened up the shiny hatch, under orders from
+      him, and climbed in among the upholstery. 'Twas soft as a feather bed.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Jerushy!' says I, lollin' back luxurious. This is fine, ain't it?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Cost seventy-five hundred to build,' he says casual. 'Made to order for
+      the boss. Lightest car of her speed ever turned out.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Go 'way! How you talk! Seventy-five hundred what? Not dollars?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Sure,' he says. Then he turns round&mdash;he was in the bow, hangin' on
+      to the steerin' wheel&mdash;and looks me over, kind of interested, but
+      superior. 'Say,' he says, 'I've been hearin' things about you. You're a
+      hero, ain't you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Durn them Orham gabblers! Ever sence I hauled that crew of seasick summer
+      boarders out of the drink a couple of years ago and the gov'ment gave me a
+      medal, the minister and some more of his gang have painted out the name I
+      was launched under and had me entered on the shippin' list as 'The Hero.'
+      I've licked two or three for callin' me that, but I can't lick a parson,
+      and he was the one that told Billings.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, I don't know!' I answers pretty sharp. 'Get her under way, why don't
+      you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;All he done was look me over some more and grin.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'A hero! A real live gov'ment-branded hero!' he says. 'Ain't scared of
+      nothin', I reckon&mdash;hey?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I never made no answer. There's some things that's too fresh to eat
+      without salt, and I didn't have a pickle tub handy.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hum!' he says again, reverend-like. 'A sure hero; scared of nothin'!
+      Never rode in an auto afore, did you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No,' says I, peppery; 'and I don't see no present symptom of ridin' in
+      one now. Cast off, won't you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He cast off. That is to say, he hauled a nickel-plated marlinespike thing
+      toward him, shoved another one away from him, took a twist on the steerin'
+      wheel, the gocart coughed like a horse with the heaves, started up some
+      sort of buzz-planer underneath, and then we begun to move.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;From the time we left my shanty at South Orham till we passed the pines
+      at Herrin' Neck I laid back in that stuffed cockpit, feelin' as grand and
+      tainted as old John D. himself. The automobile rolled along smooth but
+      swift, and it seemed to me I had never known what easy trav'lin' was
+      afore. As we rounded the bend by the pines and opened up the twelve-mile
+      narrow white stretch of Setuckit Beach ahead of us, with the ocean on one
+      side and the bay on t'other, I looked at my watch. We'd come that fur in
+      thirteen minutes.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Land sakes!' I says. 'This is what I call movin' right along!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He turned round and sized me up again, like he was surprised.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Movin'?' says he. 'Movin'? Why, pard, we've been settin' down to rest!
+      Out our way, if a lynchin' party didn't move faster than we've done so
+      fur, the center of attraction would die on the road of old age. Now, my
+      heroic college chum,' he goes on, callin' me out of my name, as usual,
+      'will you be so condescendin' as to indicate how we hit the trail?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hit&mdash;hit which? Don't hit nothin', for goodness' sake! Goin' the
+      way we be, it would&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Which way do we go?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Right straight ahead. Keep on the ocean side, 'cause there's more hard
+      sand there, and&mdash;hold on! Don't do that! Stop it, I tell you!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Them was the last rememberable words said by me durin' the next quarter
+      of an hour. That shover man let out a hair-raisin' yell, hauled the nickel
+      marlinespike over in its rack, and squeezed a rubber bag that was spliced
+      to the steerin' wheel. There was a half dozen toots or howls or honks from
+      under our bows somewheres, and then that automobile hopped off the ground
+      and commenced to fly. The fust hop landed me on my knees in the cockpit,
+      and there I stayed. 'Twas the most fittin' position fur my frame of mind
+      and chimed in fust-rate with the general religious drift of my thoughts.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The Cut-through is two mile or more from Herrin' Neck. 'Cordin' to my
+      count we hit terra cotta just three times in them two miles. The fust hit
+      knocked my hat off. The second one chucked me up so high I looked back for
+      the hat, and though we was a half mile away from it, it hadn't had time to
+      git to the ground. And all the while the horn was a-honkin', and Billings
+      was a-screechin, and the sand was a-flyin'. Sand! Why, say! Do you see
+      that extra bald place on the back of my head? Yes? Well, there was a
+      two-inch thatch of hair there afore that sand blast ground it off.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;When I went up on the third jounce I noticed the Cut-through just ahead.
+      Billings see it, too, and&mdash;would you b'lieve it?&mdash;the lunatic
+      stood up, let go of the wheel with one hand, takes off his hat and waves
+      it, and we charge down across them wet tide flats like death on the woolly
+      horse, in Scriptur'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hi, yah! Yip!' whoops Billings. 'Come on in, fellers! The water's fine!
+      Yow! Y-e-e-e! Yip!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;For a second it left off rainin' sand, and there was a typhoon of mud and
+      spray. I see a million of the prettiest rainbows&mdash;that is, I
+      cal'lated there was a million; it's awful hard to count when you're
+      bouncin' and prayin' and drowndin' all to once. Then we sizzed out of the
+      channel, over the flats on t'other side, and on toward Setuckit.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Never mind the rest of the ride. 'Twas all a sort of constant changin'
+      sameness. I remember passin' a blurred life-savin' station, with three&mdash;or
+      maybe thirty&mdash;blurred men jumpin' and laughin' and hollerin'. I found
+      out afterwards that they'd been on the lookout for the bombshell for half
+      an hour. Billings had told around town what he was goin' to do to me, and
+      some kind friend had telephoned it to the station. So the life-savers was
+      full of anticipations. I hope they were satisfied. I hadn't rehearsed my
+      part of the show none, but I feel what the parson calls a consciousness of
+      havin' done my best.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Whoa, gal!' says Billings, calm and easy, puttin' the helm hard down.
+      The auto was standin' still at last. Part of me was hangin' over the lee
+      rail. I could see out of the part, so I knew 'twas my head. And there
+      alongside was my fish shanty at the P'int, goin' round and round in
+      circles.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I undid the hatch of the cockpit and fell out on the sand. Then I
+      scrambled up and caught hold of the shanty as it went past me. That fool
+      shover watched me, seemin'ly interested.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Why, pard,' says he, 'what's the matter? Do you feel pale? Are you
+      nervous? It ain't possible that you're scared? Honest, now, pard, if it
+      weren't that I knew you were a genuine gold-mounted hero I'd sure think
+      you was a scared man.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I never said nothin'. The scenery and me was just turnin' the mark buoy
+      on our fourth lap.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Dear me, pard!' continues Billings. 'I sure hope I ain't scared you
+      none. We come down a little slow this evenin', but to-morrow night, when I
+      take you back home, I'll let the old girl out a little.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I sensed some of that. And as the shanty had about come to anchor, I
+      answered and spoke my mind.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'When you take me back home!' I says. 'When you do! Why, you
+      crack-brained, murderin' lunatic, I wouldn't cruise in that hell wagon of
+      yours again for the skipper's wages on a Cunarder. No, nor the mate's hove
+      in!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And that shover he put his head back and laughed and laughed and
+      laughed.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0016" id="link2HCH0016">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER XVI
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      THE CRUISE OF THE RED CAR
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I don't wonder he laughed,&rdquo; observed Wingate, who seemed to enjoy
+      irritating his friend. &ldquo;You must have been good as a circus.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Humph!&rdquo; grunted the depot master. &ldquo;If I remember right you said YOU
+      wa'n't any ten-cent side show under similar circumstances, Barzilla. Heave
+      ahead, Bailey!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Stitt, unruffled, resumed:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I tell you, I had to take it that evenin',&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;All the time I was
+      cookin' and while he was eatin' supper, Billings was rubbin' it into me
+      about my bein' scared. Called me all the saltwater-hero names he could
+      think of&mdash;'Hobson' and 'Dewey' and the like of that, usin' em
+      sarcastic, of course. Finally, he said he remembered readin' in school,
+      when he was little, about a girl hero, name of Grace Darlin'. Said he
+      cal'lated, if I didn't mind, he'd call me Grace, 'cause it was heroic and
+      yet kind of fitted in with my partic'lar brand of bravery. I didn't answer
+      much; he had me down, and I knew it. Likewise I judged he was more or less
+      out of his head; no sane man would yell the way he done aboard that
+      automobile.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then he commenced to spin yarns about himself and his doin's, and pretty
+      soon it come out that he'd been a cowboy afore young Stumpton give up
+      ranchin' and took to automobilin'. That cleared the sky line some, of
+      course; I'd read consider'ble about cowboys in the ten-cent books my
+      nephew fetched home when he was away to school. I see right off that
+      Billings was the livin' image of Deadwood Dick and Wild Bill and the rest
+      in them books; they yelled and howled and hadn't no regard for life and
+      property any more'n he had. No, sir! He wa'n't no crazier'n they was; it
+      was in the breed, I judged.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I sure wish I had you on the ranch, Grace,' says he. 'Why don't you come
+      West some day? That's where a hero like you would show up strong.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Godfrey mighty!' I sings out. 'I wouldn't come nigh such a nest of crazy
+      murderers as that fur no money! I'd sooner ride in that automobile of
+      yours, and St. Peter himself couldn't coax me into THAT again, not if
+      'twas fur a cruise plumb up the middle of the golden street!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I meant it, too, and the next afternoon when it come time to start for
+      home he found out that I meant it. We'd shot a lot of ducks, and Billings
+      was havin' such a good time that I had to coax and tease him as if he was
+      a young one afore he'd think of quittin'. It was quarter of six when he
+      backed the gas cart out of the shed. I was uneasy, 'cause 'twas past
+      low-water time, and there was fog comin' on.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Brace up, Dewey!' says he. 'Get in.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No, Mr. Billings,' says I. 'I ain't goin' to get in. You take that craft
+      of yourn home, and I'll sail up alongside in my dory.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'In your which?' says he.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'In my dory,' I says. 'That's her hauled up on the beach abreast the
+      shanty.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He looked at the dory and then at me.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Go on!' says he. 'You ain't goin' to pack yourself twelve mile on THAT
+      SHINGLE?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Sartin I am! says I. 'I ain't takin' no more chances.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Do you know, he actually seemed to think I was crazy then. Seemed to
+      figger that the dory wa'n't big enough; and she's carried five easy afore
+      now. We had an argument that lasted twenty minutes more, and the fog
+      driftin' in nigher all the time. At last he got sick of arguin', ripped
+      out somethin' brisk and personal, and got his tin shop to movin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You want to cross over to the ocean side,' I called after him. 'The
+      Cut-through's been dredged at the bay end, remember.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Be hanged!' he yells, or more emphatic. And off he whizzed. I see him
+      go, and fetched a long breath. Thanks to a merciful Providence, I'd come
+      so fur without bein' buttered on the undercrust of that automobile or
+      scalped with its crazy shover's bowie knife.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ten minutes later I was beatin' out into the bay in my dory. All around
+      was the fog, thin as poorhouse gruel so fur, but thickenin' every minute.
+      I was worried; not for myself, you understand, but for that cowboy shover.
+      I was afraid he wouldn't fetch t'other side of the Cut-through. There
+      wa'n't much wind, and I had to make long tacks. I took the inshore
+      channel, and kept listenin' all the time. And at last, when 'twas pretty
+      dark and I was cal'latin' to be about abreast of the bay end of the
+      Cut-through, I heard from somewheres ashore a dismal honkin' kind of
+      noise, same as a wild goose might make if 'twas chokin' to death and not
+      resigned to the worst.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'My land!' says I. 'It's happened!' And I come about and headed straight
+      in for the beach. I struck it just alongside the gov'ment shanty. The
+      engineers had knocked off work for the week, waitin' for supplies, but
+      they hadn't took away their dunnage.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hi!' I yells, as I hauled up the dory. 'Hi-i-i! Billings, where be you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The honkin' stopped and back comes the answer; there was joy in it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What? Is that Cap'n Stitt?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes,' I sings out. 'Where be you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I'm stuck out here in the middle of the crick. And there's a flood on.
+      Help me, can't you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Next minute I was aboard the dory, rowin' her against the tide up the
+      channel. Pretty quick I got where I could see him through the fog and
+      dark. The auto was on the flat in the middle of the Cut-through, and the
+      water was hub high already. Billings was standin' up on the for'ard
+      thwart, makin' wet footmarks all over them expensive cushions.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Lord,' says he, 'I sure am glad to see you, pard! Can we get to land, do
+      you think?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Land?' says I, makin' the dory fast alongside and hoppin' out into the
+      drink. ''Course we can land! What's the matter with your old derelict?
+      Sprung a leak, has it?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He went on to explain that the automobile had broke down when he struck
+      the flat, and he couldn't get no farther. He'd been honkin' and howlin'
+      for ten year at least, so he reckoned.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Why in time,' says I, 'didn't you mind me and go up the ocean side? And
+      why in nation didn't you go ashore and&mdash;But never mind that now. Let
+      me think. Here! You set where you be.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;As I shoved off in the dory again he turned loose a distress signal.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Where you goin'?' he yells. 'Say, pard, you ain't goin' to leave me
+      here, are you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I'll be back in a shake,' says I, layin' to my oars. 'Don't holler so!
+      You'll have the life-savers down here, and then the joke'll be on us.
+      Hush, can't you? I'll be right back!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I rowed up channel a little ways, and then I sighted the place I was
+      bound for. Them gov'ment folks had another shanty farther up the
+      Cut-through. Moored out in front of it was a couple of big floats, for
+      their stone sloops to tie up to at high water. The floats were made of
+      empty kerosene barrels and planks, and they'd have held up a house easy. I
+      run alongside the fust one, cut the anchor cable with my jackknife, and
+      next minute I was navigatin' that float down channel, steerin' it with my
+      oar and towin' the dory astern.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas no slouch of a job, pilotin' that big float, but part by steerin'
+      and part by polin' I managed to land her broadside on to the auto. I made
+      her fast with the cable ends and went back after the other float. This one
+      was a bigger job than the fust, but by and by that gas wagon, with planks
+      under her and cable lashin's holdin' her firm, was restin' easy as a
+      settin' hen between them two floats. I unshipped my mast, fetched it
+      aboard the nighest float, and spread the sail over the biggest part of the
+      brasswork and upholstery.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'There,' says I, 'if it rains durin' the night she'll keep pretty dry.
+      Now I'll take the dory and row back to the shanty after some spare anchors
+      there is there.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But what's it fur, pard?' asks Billings for the nine hundred and
+      ninety-ninth time. 'Why don't we go where it's dry? The flood's risin' all
+      the time.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Let it rise,' I says. 'I cal'late when it gets high enough them
+      floats'll rise with it and lift the automobile up, too. If she's anchored
+      bow and stern she'll hold, unless it comes on to blow a gale, and
+      to-morrow mornin' at low tide maybe you can tinker her up so she'll go.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Go?' says he, like he was astonished. 'Do you mean to say you're
+      reckonin' to save the CAR?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Good land!' I says, starin' at him. 'What else d'you s'pose? Think I'd
+      let seventy-five hundred dollars' wuth of gilt-edged extravagance go to
+      the bottom? What did you cal'late I was tryin' to save&mdash;the clam
+      flat? Give me that dory rope; I'm goin' after them anchors. Sufferin'
+      snakes! Where IS the dory? What have you done with it?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He'd been holdin' the bight of the dory rodin'. I handed it to him so's
+      he'd have somethin' to take up his mind. And, by time, he'd forgot all
+      about it and let it drop! And the dory had gone adrift and was out of
+      sight.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Gosh!' says he, astonished-like. 'Pard, the son of a gun has slipped his
+      halter!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I was pretty mad&mdash;dories don't grow on every beach plum bush&mdash;but
+      there wa'n't nothin' to say that fitted the case, so I didn't try.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Humph!' says I. 'Well, I'll have to swim ashore, that's all, and go up
+      to the station inlet after another boat. You stand by the ship. If she
+      gets afloat afore I come back you honk and holler and I'll row after you.
+      I'll fetch the anchors and we'll moor her wherever she happens to be. If
+      she shouldn't float on an even keel, or goes to capsize, you jump
+      overboard and swim ashore. I'll&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Swim?' says he, with a shake in his voice. 'Why, pard, I can't swim!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I turned and looked at him. Shover of a two-mile-a-minute gold-plated
+      butcher cart like that, a cowboy murderer that et his friends for
+      breakfast&mdash;and couldn't swim! I fetched a kind of combination groan
+      and sigh, turned back the sail, climbed aboard the automobile, and lit up
+      my pipe.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What are you settin' there for?' says he. 'What are you goin' to do?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Do?' says I. 'Wait, that's all&mdash;wait and smoke. We won't have to
+      wait long.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;My prophesyin' was good. We didn't have to wait very long. It was pitch
+      dark, foggy as ever, and the tide a-risin' fast. The floats got to be
+      a-wash. I shinned out onto 'em, picked up the oar that had been left
+      there, and took my seat again. Billings climbed in, too, only&mdash;and it
+      kind of shows the change sence the previous evenin'&mdash;he was in the
+      passenger cockpit astern, and I was for'ard in the pilot house. For a
+      reckless daredevil he was actin' mighty fidgety.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And at last one of the floats swung off the sand. The automobile tipped
+      scandalous. It looked as if we was goin' on our beam ends. Billings let
+      out an awful yell. Then t'other float bobbed up and the whole shebang, car
+      and all, drifted out and down the channel.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;My lashin's held&mdash;I cal'lated they would. Soon's I was sure of that
+      I grabbed up the oar and shoved it over the stern between the floats. I
+      hoped I could round her to after we passed the mouth of the Cut-through,
+      and make port on the inside beach. But not in that tide. Inside of five
+      minutes I see 'twas no use; we was bound across the bay.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And now commenced a v'yage that beat any ever took sence Noah's time, I
+      cal'late; and even Noah never went to sea in an automobile, though the one
+      animal I had along was as much trouble as his whole menagerie. Billings
+      was howlin' blue murder.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Stop that bellerin'!' I ordered. 'Quit it, d'you hear! You'll have the
+      station crew out after us, and they'll guy me till I can't rest. Shut up!
+      If you don't, I'll&mdash;I'll swim ashore and leave you.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I was takin' big chances, as I look at it now. He might have drawed a
+      bowie knife or a lasso on me; 'cordin' to his yarns he'd butchered folks
+      for a good sight less'n that. But he kept quiet this time, only gurglin'
+      some when the ark tilted. I had time to think of another idee. You
+      remember the dory sail, mast and all, was alongside that cart. I clewed up
+      the canvas well as I could and managed to lash the mast up straight over
+      the auto's bows. Then I shook out the sail.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Here!' says I, turnin' to Billings. 'You hang on to that sheet. No, you
+      needn't nuther. Make it fast to that cleat alongside.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I couldn't see his face plain, but his voice had a funny tremble to it;
+      reminded me of my own when I climbed out of that very cart after he'd
+      jounced me down to Setuckit the day before.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What?' he says. 'Wh-what? What sheet? I don't see any sheet. What do you
+      want me to do?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Tie this line to that cleat. That cleat there! CLEAT, you lubber! CLEAT!
+      That knob! MAKE IT FAST! Oh, my gosh t'mighty! Get out of my way!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The critter had tied the sheet to the handle of the door instead of the
+      one I meant, and the pull of the sail hauled the door open and pretty nigh
+      ripped it off the hinges. I had to climb into the cockpit and straighten
+      out the mess. I was losin' my temper; I do hate bunglin' seamanship aboard
+      a craft of mine.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But what'll become of us?' begs Billings. 'Will we drown?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What in tunket do we want to drown for? Ain't we got a good sailin'
+      breeze and the whole bay to stay on top of&mdash;fifty foot of water and
+      more?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Fifty foot!' he yells. 'Is there fifty foot of water underneath us now?
+      Pard, you don't mean it!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Course I mean it. Good thing, too!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But fifty foot! It's enough to drown in ten times over!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Can't drown but once, can you? And I'd just as soon drown in fifty foot
+      as four&mdash;ruther, 'cause 'twouldn't take so long.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He didn't answer out loud; but I heard him talkin' to himself pretty
+      constant.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We was well out in the bay by now, and the seas was a little mite more
+      rugged&mdash;nothin' to hurt, you understand, but the floats was all foam,
+      and once in a while we'd ship a little spray. And every time that happened
+      Billings would jump and grab for somethin' solid&mdash;sometimes 'twas the
+      upholstery and sometimes 'twas me. He wa'n't on the thwart, but down in a
+      heap on the cockpit floor.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Let go of my leg!' I sings out, after we'd hit a high wave and that
+      shover had made a more'n ordinary savage claw at my underpinnin'. 'You
+      make me nervous. Drat this everlastin' fog! somethin'll bump into us if we
+      don't look out. Here, you go for'ard and light them cruisin' lights. They
+      ain't colored 'cordin' to regulations, but they'll have to do. Go for'ard!
+      What you waitin' for?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, it turned out that he didn't like to leave that cockpit. I was mad.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Go for'ard there and light them lights!' I yelled, hangin' to the
+      steerin' oar and keepin' the ark runnin' afore the wind.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I won't!' he says, loud and emphatic. 'Think I'm a blame fool? I sure
+      would be a jack rabbit to climb over them seats the way they're buckin'
+      and light them lamps. You're talkin' through your hat!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, I hadn't no business to do it, but, you see, I was on salt water,
+      and skipper, as you might say, of the junk we was afloat in; and if
+      there's one thing I never would stand it's mutiny. I hauled in the oar,
+      jumped over the cockpit rail, and went for him. He see me comin', stood
+      up, tried to get out of the way, and fell overboard backwards. Part of him
+      lit on one of the floats, but the biggest part trailed in the water
+      between the two. He clawed with his hands, but the planks was slippery,
+      and he slid astern fast. Just as he reached the last plank and slid off
+      and under I jumped after him and got him by the scruff of the neck. I had
+      hold of the lashin' end with one hand, and we tailed out behind the ark,
+      which was sloppin' along, graceful as an elephant on skates.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I was pretty well beat out when I yanked him into that cockpit again.
+      Neither of us said anything for a spell, breath bein' scurce as di'monds.
+      But when he'd collected some of his, he spoke.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Pard,' he says, puffin', 'I'm much obleeged to you. I reckon I sure
+      ain't treated you right. If it hadn't been for you that time I'd&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But I was b'ilin' over. I whirled on him like a teetotum.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Drat your hide!' I says. 'When you speak to your officer you say sir!
+      And now you go for'ard and light them lights. Don't you answer back! If
+      you do I'll fix you so's you'll never ship aboard another vessel! For'ard
+      there! Lively, you lubber, lively!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He went for'ard, takin' consider'ble time and hangin' on for dear life.
+      But somehow or 'nuther he got the lights to goin'; and all the time I
+      hazed him terrible. I was mate on an Australian packet afore I went
+      fishin' to the Banks, and I can haze some. I blackguarded that shover
+      awful.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Ripperty-rip your everlastin' blankety-blanked dough head!' I roared at
+      him. 'You ain't wuth the weight to sink you. For'ard there and get that
+      fog horn to goin'! And keep it goin'! Lively, you sculpin! Don't you open
+      your mouth to me!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, all night we sloshed along, straight acrost the bay. We must have
+      been a curious sight to look at. The floats was awash, so that the
+      automobile looked like she was ridin' the waves all by her lonesome; the
+      lamps was blazin' at either side of the bow; Billings was a-tootin' the
+      rubber fog horn as if he was wound up; and I was standin' on the cushions
+      amidships, keepin' the whole calabash afore the wind.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We never met another craft the whole night through. Yes, we did meet one.
+      Old Ezra Cahoon, of Harniss, was out in his dory stealin' quahaugs from
+      Seth Andrews's bed over nigh the Wapatomac shore. Ezra stayed long enough
+      to get one good glimpse of us as we bust through the fog; then he cut his
+      rodin' and laid to his oars, bound for home and mother. We could hear him
+      screech for half an hour after he left us.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ez told next day that the devil had come ridin' acrost the bay after him
+      in a chariot of fire. Said he could smell the brimstone and hear the
+      trumpet callin' him to judgment. Likewise he hove in a lot of particulars
+      concernin' the personal appearance of the Old Boy himself, who, he said,
+      was standin' up wavin' a red-hot pitchfork. Some folks might have been
+      flattered at bein' took for such a famous character; but I wa'n't; I'm
+      retirin' by nature, and besides, Ez's description wa'n't cal'lated to bust
+      a body's vanity b'iler. I was prouder of the consequences, the same bein'
+      that Ezra signed the Good Templars' pledge that afternoon, and kept it for
+      three whole months, just sixty-nine days longer than any previous attack
+      within the memory of man had lasted.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And finally, just as mornin' was breakin', the bows of the floats slid
+      easy and slick up on a hard, sandy beach. Then the sun riz and the fog
+      lifted, and there we was within sight of the South Ostable meetin'-house.
+      We'd sailed eighteen miles in that ark and made a better landin' blindfold
+      than we ever could have made on purpose.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I hauled down the sail, unshipped the mast, and jumped ashore to find a
+      rock big enough to use for a makeshift anchor. It wa'n't more'n three
+      minutes after we fust struck afore my boots hit dry ground, but Billings
+      beat me one hundred and seventy seconds, at that. When I had time to look
+      at that shover man he was a cable's length from high-tide mark, settin'
+      down and grippin' a bunch of beach grass as if he was afeard the sand was
+      goin' to slide from under him; and you never seen a yallerer, more upset
+      critter in your born days.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, I got the ark anchored, after a fashion, and then we walked up to
+      the South Ostable tavern. Peleg Small, who runs the place, he knows me, so
+      he let me have a room and I turned in for a nap. I slept about three
+      hours. When I woke up I started out to hunt the automobile and Billings.
+      Both of 'em looked consider'ble better than they had when I see 'em last.
+      The shover had got a gang of men and they'd got the gas cart ashore, and
+      Billings and a blacksmith was workin' over&mdash;or rather under&mdash;the
+      clockwork.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hello!' I hails, comin' alongside.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Billings sticks his head out from under the tinware.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hi, pard!' says he. I noticed he hadn't called me 'Grace' nor 'Dewey'
+      for a long spell. Hi, pard,' he says, gettin' to his feet, 'the old gal
+      ain't hurt a hair. She'll be good as ever in a couple of hours. Then you
+      and me can start for Orham.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'In HER?' says I.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Sure,' he says.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Not by a jugful!' says I, emphatic. 'I'll borrer a boat to get to Orham
+      in, when I'm ready to go. You won't ketch me in that man killer again; and
+      you can call me a coward all you want to!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'A coward?' says he. 'You a coward? And&mdash;Why, you was in that car
+      all night!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh!' I says. 'Last night was diff'rent. The thing was on water then, and
+      when I've got enough water underneath me I know I'm safe.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Safe!' he sings out. 'SAFE! Well, by&mdash;gosh! Pard, I hate to say it,
+      but it's the Lord's truth&mdash;you had me doin' my &ldquo;Now I lay me's&rdquo;!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;For a minute we looked at each other. Then says I, sort of thinkin' out
+      loud, 'I cal'late,' I says, 'that whether a man's brave or not depends
+      consider'ble on whether he's used to his latitude. It's all accordin'. It
+      lays in the bringin' up, as the duck said when the hen tried to swim.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He nodded solemn. 'Pard,' says he, 'I sure reckon you've called the turn.
+      Let's shake hands on it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So we shook; and . . .&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Bailey stopped short and sprang from his chair. &ldquo;There's my train
+      comin',&rdquo; he shouted. &ldquo;Good-by, Sol! So long, Barzilla! Keep away from
+      fortune tellers and pretty servant girls or YOU'LL be gettin' married
+      pretty soon. Good-by.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He darted out of the waiting room and his companions followed. Mr.
+      Wingate, having a few final calls to make, left the station soon
+      afterwards and did not return until evening. And that evening he heard
+      news which surprised him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      As he and Captain Sol were exchanging a last handshake on the platform,
+      Barzilla said:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, Sol, I've enjoyed loafin' around here and yarnin' with you, same as
+      I always do. I'll be over again in a month or so and we'll have some
+      more.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The Captain shook his head. &ldquo;I may not be here then, Barzilla,&rdquo; he
+      observed.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;May not be here? What do you mean by that?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I mean that I don't know exactly where I shall be. I shan't be depot
+      master, anyway.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Shan't be depot master? YOU won't? Why, what on airth&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I sent in my resignation four days ago. Nobody knows it, except you, not
+      even Issy, but the new depot master for East Harniss will be here to take
+      my place on the mornin' of the twelfth, that's two days off.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Why! Why! SOL!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes. Keep mum about it. I'll&mdash;I'll let you know what I decide to do.
+      I ain't settled it myself yet. Good-by, Barzilla.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0017" id="link2HCH0017">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER XVII
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      ISSY'S REVENGE
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      The following morning, at nine o'clock, Issy McKay sat upon the heap of
+      rusty chain cable outside the blacksmith's shop at Denboro, reading, as
+      usual, a love story. Issy was taking a &ldquo;day off.&rdquo; He had begged permission
+      of Captain Sol Berry, the permission had been granted, and Issy had come
+      over to Denboro, the village eight miles above East Harniss, in his &ldquo;power
+      dory,&rdquo; or gasoline boat, the Lady May. The Lady May was a relic of the
+      time before Issy was assistant depot master, when he gained a precarious
+      living by quahauging, separating the reluctant bivalve from its muddy
+      house on the bay bottom with an iron rake, the handle of which was forty
+      feet long. Issy had been seized with a desire to try quahauging once more,
+      hence his holiday. The rake was broken and he had put in at Denboro to
+      have it fixed. While the blacksmith was busy, Issy laboriously spelled out
+      the harrowing chapters of &ldquo;Vivian, the Shop Girl; or Lord Lyndhurst's
+      Lowly Love.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      A grinning, freckled face peered cautiously around the corner of the
+      blacksmith's front fence. Then an overripe potato whizzed through the air
+      and burst against the shop wall a few inches from the reader's head. Issy
+      jumped.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You&mdash;you everlastin' young ones, you!&rdquo; he shouted fiercely. &ldquo;If I
+      git my hands onto you, you'll wish you'd&mdash;I see you hidin' behind
+      that fence.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Two barefooted little figures danced provokingly in the roadway and two
+      shrill voices chanted in derision:
+    </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+     &ldquo;Is McKay&mdash;Is McKay&mdash;
+     Makes the Injuns run away!
+</pre>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Scalped anybody lately, Issy?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Alas for the indiscretions of youth! The tale of Issy's early expedition
+      in search of scalps and glory was known from one end of Ostable County to
+      the other. It had made him famous, in a way.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;If I git a-holt of you kids, I'll bet there'll be some scalpin' done,&rdquo;
+       retorted the persecuted one, rising from the heap of cable.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      A second potato burst like a bombshell on the shingles behind him. McKay
+      was a good general, in that he knew when it was wisest to retreat. Shoving
+      the paper novel into his overalls pocket, he entered the shop.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What's the matter, Is?&rdquo; inquired the grinning blacksmith. Most people
+      grinned when they spoke to Issy. &ldquo;Gittin' too hot outside there, was it?
+      Why don't you tomahawk 'em and have 'em for supper?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Humph!&rdquo; grunted the offended quahauger. &ldquo;Don't git gay now, Jake Larkin.
+      You hurry up with that rake.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Oh, all right, Is. Don't sculp ME; I ain't done nothin'. What's the news
+      over to East Harniss?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Oh, I don't know. Not much. Sam Bartlett, he started for Boston this
+      mornin'.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Who? Sam Bartlett? I want to know! Thought he was down for six weeks. You
+      sure about that, Is?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Course I'm sure. I was up to the depot and see him buy his ticket and git
+      on the cars.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Did, hey? Humph! So Sam's gone. Gertie Higgins still over to her Aunt
+      Hannah's at Trumet?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy looked at his questioner. &ldquo;Why, yes,&rdquo; he said suspiciously. &ldquo;I s'pose
+      she's there. Fact, I know she is. Pat Starkey's doin' the telegraphin'
+      while she's away. What made you ask that?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The blacksmith chuckled. &ldquo;Oh, nothin',&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;How's her dad's
+      dyspepsy? Had any more of them sudden attacks of his? I cal'late they'll
+      take the old man off some of these days, won't they? I hear the doctor
+      thinks there's more heart than stomach in them attacks.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      But the skipper of the Lady May was not to be put off thus. &ldquo;What you
+      drivin' at, Jake?&rdquo; he demanded. &ldquo;What's Sam Bartlett's goin' away got to
+      do with Gertie Higgins?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      In his eagerness he stepped to Mr. Larkin's side. The blacksmith caught
+      sight of the novel in his customer's pocket. He snatched it forth.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What you readin' now, Is?&rdquo; he demanded. &ldquo;More blood and brimstone? 'Vivy
+      Ann, the Shop Girl!' Gee! Wow!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You gimme that book, Jake Larkin! Gimme it now!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Fending the frantic quahauger off with one mighty arm, the blacksmith
+      proceeded to read aloud:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Darlin',' cried Lord Lyndhurst, strainin' the beautiful and blushin'
+      maid to his manly bosom, 'you are mine at last. Mine! No&mdash;' Jerushy!
+      a love story! Why, Issy! I didn't know you was in love. Who's the lucky
+      girl? Send me an invite to your weddin', won't you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy's face was a fiery red. He tore the precious volume from its
+      desecrator's hand, losing the pictured cover in the struggle.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You&mdash;you pesky fool!&rdquo; he shouted. &ldquo;You mind your own business.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The blacksmith roared in glee. &ldquo;Oh, ho!&rdquo; he cried. &ldquo;Issy's in love and I
+      never guessed it. Aw, say, Is, don't be mean! Who is she? Have you
+      strained her to your manly bosom yit? What's her name?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Shut up!&rdquo; shrieked Issy, and strode out of the shop. His tormentor begged
+      him not to &ldquo;go off mad,&rdquo; and shouted sarcastic sympathy after him. But Mr.
+      McKay heeded not. He stalked angrily along the sidewalk. Then espying just
+      ahead of him the boys who had thrown the potatoes, he paused, turned, and
+      walking down the carriageway at the side of the blacksmith's place of
+      business, sat down upon a sawhorse under one of its rear windows. He
+      could, at least, be alone here and think; and he wanted to think.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      For Issy&mdash;although he didn't look it&mdash;was deeply interested in
+      another love story as well as that in his pocket. This one was printed
+      upon his heart's pages, and in it he was the hero, while the heroine&mdash;the
+      unsuspecting heroine&mdash;was Gertie Higgins, daughter of Beriah Higgins,
+      once a fisherman, now the crotchety and dyspeptic proprietor of the
+      &ldquo;general store&rdquo; and postmaster at East Harniss.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      This story began when Issy first acquired the Lady May. The Higgins home
+      stood on the slope close to the boat landing, and when Issy came in from
+      quahauging, Gertie was likely to be in the back yard, hanging out the
+      clothes or watering the flower garden. Sometimes she spoke to him of her
+      own accord, concerning the weather or other important topics. Once she
+      even asked him if he were going to the Fourth of July ball at the
+      town-hall. It took him until the next morning&mdash;like other warriors,
+      Issy was cursed with shyness&mdash;to summon courage enough to ask her to
+      go to the ball with him. Then he found it was too late; she was going with
+      her cousin, Lennie Bloomer. But he felt that she had offered him the
+      opportunity, and was happy and hopeful accordingly.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      This, however, was before she went to Boston to study telegraphy. When she
+      returned, with a picture hat and a Boston accent, it was to preside at the
+      telegraph instrument in the little room adjoining the post office at her
+      father's store. When Issy bowed blushingly outside the window of the
+      telegraph room, he received only the airiest of frigid nods. Was there
+      what Lord Lyndhurst would have called &ldquo;another&rdquo;? It would seem not. Old
+      Mr. Higgins, her father, encouraged no bows nor attentions from young men,
+      and Gertie herself did not appear to desire them. So Issy gave up his
+      tales of savage butchery for those of love and blisses, adored in silence,
+      and hoped&mdash;always hoped.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      But why had the blacksmith seemed surprised at the departure of Sam
+      Bartlett, the &ldquo;dudey&rdquo; vacationist from the city, whose father had, years
+      ago, been Beriah Higgins's partner in the fish business? And why had he
+      coupled the Bartlett name with that of Gertie, who had been visiting her
+      father's maiden sister at Trumet, the village next below East Harniss, as
+      Denboro is the next above it? Issy's suspicions were aroused, and he
+      wondered.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Suddenly he heard voices in the shop above him. The window was open and he
+      heard them plainly.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well! WELL!&rdquo; It was the blacksmith who uttered the exclamation. &ldquo;Why,
+      Bartlett, how be you? What you doin' over here? Thought you'd gone back to
+      Boston. I heard you had.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Slowly, cautiously, the astonished quahauger rose from the sawhorse and
+      peered over the window sill. There were two visitors in the shop. One was
+      Ed Burns, proprietor of the Denboro Hotel and livery stable. The other was
+      Sam Bartlett, the very same who had left East Harniss that morning, bound,
+      ostensibly, for Boston. Issy sank back again and listened.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, yes!&rdquo; he heard Sam say impatiently; &ldquo;I know, but&mdash;see here,
+      Jake, where can I hire a horse in this God-forsaken town?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, well, Sam!&rdquo; continued Larkin. &ldquo;I was just figurin' that Beriah had
+      got the best of you after all, and you'd had to give it up for this time.
+      Thinks I, it's too bad! Just because your dad and Beriah Higgins had such
+      a deuce of a row when they bust up in the fish trade, it's a shame that he
+      won't hark to your keepin' comp'ny with Gertie. And you doin' so well;
+      makin' twenty dollars a week up to the city&mdash;Ed told me that&mdash;and&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, yes! But never mind that. Where can I get a horse? I've got to be in
+      Trumet by eight to-night sure.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Trumet? Why, that's where Gertie is, ain't it?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Look a-here, Jake,&rdquo; broke in the livery-stable keeper. &ldquo;I'll tell you how
+      'tis. Oh, it's all right, Sam! Jake knows the most of it; I told him. He
+      can keep his mouth shut, and he don't like old crank Higgins any better'n
+      you and me do. Jake, Sam here and Gertie had fixed it up to run off and
+      git married to-night. He was to pretend to start for Boston this mornin'.
+      Bought a ticket and all, so's to throw Beriah off the scent. He was to get
+      off the train here at Denboro and I was to let him have a horse 'n' buggy.
+      Then, this afternoon, he was goin' to drive through the wood roads around
+      to Trumet and be at the Baptist Church there at eight to-night sharp.
+      Gertie's Aunt Hannah, she's had her orders, and bein' as big a crank as
+      her brother, she don't let the girl out of her sight. But there's a fair
+      at the church and Auntie's tendin' a table. Gertie, she steps out to the
+      cloak room to git a handkerchief which she's forgot; see? And she hops
+      into Sam's buggy and away they go to the minister's. After they're once
+      hitched Old Dyspepsy can go to pot and see the kittle bile.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Bully! By gum, that's fine! Won't Beriah rip some, hey?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, but there's the dickens to pay. I've only got two horses in the
+      stable to-day. The rest are let. And the two I've got&mdash;one's old
+      Bill, and he couldn't go twenty mile to save his hide. And t'other's the
+      gray mare, and blamed if she didn't git cast last night and use up her off
+      hind leg so's she can't step. And Sam's GOT to have a horse. Where can I
+      git one?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hum! Have you tried Haynes's?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, yes! And Lathrop's and Eldredge's. Can't git a team for love nor
+      money.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sho! And he can't go by train?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What? With Beriah postmaster at East Harniss and always nosin' through
+      every train that stops there? You can't fetch Trumet by train without
+      stoppin' at East Harniss and&mdash;What was that?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I don't know. What was it?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sounded like somethin' outside that back winder.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The two ran to the window and looked out. All they saw was an overturned
+      sawhorse and two or three hens scratching vigorously.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Guess 'twas the chickens, most likely,&rdquo; observed the blacksmith. Then,
+      striking his blackened palms together, he exclaimed:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;By time! I've thought of somethin'! Is McKay is in town to-day. Come over
+      in the Lady May. She's a gasoline boat. Is would take Sam to Trumet for
+      two or three dollars, I'll bet. And he's such a fool head that he wouldn't
+      ask questions nor suspicion nothin'. 'Twould be faster'n a horse and
+      enough sight less risky.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      And just then the &ldquo;fool head,&rdquo; his brain whirling under its carroty
+      thatch, was hurrying blindly up the main street, bound somewhere, he
+      wasn't certain where.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      A mushy apple exploded between his shoulders, but he did not even turn
+      around. So THIS was what the blacksmith meant! This was why Mr. Higgins
+      watched his daughter so closely. This was why Gertie had been sent off to
+      Trumet. She had met the Bartlett miscreant in Boston; they had been
+      together there; had fallen in love and&mdash;He gritted his teeth and
+      shook his fists almost in the face of old Deacon Pratt, who, knowing the
+      McKay penchant for slaughter, had serious thoughts of sending for the
+      constable.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Beriah Higgins must be warned, of course, but how? To telegraph was to put
+      Pat Starkey in possession of the secret, and Pat was too good a friend of
+      Gertie's to be trusted. There was no telephone at the store. Issy entered
+      the combination grocery store and post office.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Has the down mail closed yet?&rdquo; he panted.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The postmaster looked out of his little window.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; he replied. &ldquo;Why? Got a letter you want to go? Take it up to the
+      depot. The train's due, but 'tain't here yit. If you run you can make it.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy took a card from his pocket. It was the business card of the firm to
+      whom he sold his quahaugs. On the back of the card he wrote in pencil as
+      follows:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Mr. Beriah Higgins, your daughter Gertrude is going to meet Sam'l
+      Bartlett at the Baptist Church in Trumet at 8 P.M. to-night and get
+      married to him. LOOK OUT!!!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      After an instant's consideration he signed it &ldquo;A True Friend,&rdquo; this being
+      in emulation of certain heroes of the Deadwood Dick variety. Then he put
+      the card into an envelope and ran at top speed to the railway station. The
+      train came in as he reached the platform. The baggage master was standing
+      in the door of his car.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Here, mister!&rdquo; panted Issy. &ldquo;Jest hand this letter to Beriah Higgins when
+      he takes the mail bag at East Harniss, won't you? It's mighty important.
+      Don't forgit. Thanks.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The train moved off. Issy stared after it, grinning malevolently. Higgins
+      would get that note in ample time to send word to the watchful Aunt
+      Hannah. When the unsuspecting eloper reached the Trumet church, it would
+      be the aunt, not the niece, who awaited him. Still grinning, Mr. McKay
+      walked off the platform, and into the arms of Ed Burns, the stable keeper,
+      and Sam Bartlett, his loathed and favored rival.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Here he is!&rdquo; shouted Burns. &ldquo;Now we've got him.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The foiler of the plot turned pale. Was his secret discovered? But no; his
+      captors began talking eagerly, and gradually the sense of their pleadings
+      became plain. They wanted him&mdash;HIM, of all people&mdash;to convey
+      Bartlett to Trumet in the Lady May.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You see, it's a business meetin',&rdquo; urged Burns. &ldquo;Sam's got to be there by
+      ha'f past seven or he'll&mdash;he won't win on the deal, will you, Sam?
+      Say yes, Issy; that's a good feller. He'll give you&mdash;I don't know's
+      he won't give you five dollars.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ten,&rdquo; cried Bartlett. &ldquo;And I'll never forget it, either. Will you, Is?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      A mighty &ldquo;No!&rdquo; was trembling on Issy's tongue. But before it was uttered
+      Burns spoke again.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;McKay's got the best boat in these parts,&rdquo; he urged. &ldquo;She's got a tiptop
+      engine in her, and&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The word &ldquo;engine&rdquo; dropped into the whirlpool of Issy's thoughts with a
+      familiar sound. In the chapter of &ldquo;Vivian&rdquo; that he had just finished, the
+      beautiful shopgirl was imprisoned on board the yacht of the millionaire
+      kidnaper, while the hero, in his own yacht, was miles astern. But the
+      hero's faithful friend, disguised as a stoker, was tampering with the
+      villain's engine. A vague idea began to form in Issy's brain. Once get the
+      would-be eloper aboard the Lady May, and, even though the warning note
+      should remain undelivered, he&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy smiled, and the ghastliness of that smile was unnoticed by his
+      companions.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I&mdash;I'll do it,&rdquo; he cried. &ldquo;By mighty! I WILL do it. You be at the
+      wharf here at four o'clock. I wouldn't do it for everybody, Sam Bartlett,
+      but for you I'd do consider'ble, just now. And I don't want your ten
+      dollars nuther.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Doctoring an engine may be easy enough&mdash;in stories. But to doctor a
+      gasoline engine so that it will run for a certain length of time and THEN
+      break down is not so easy. Three o'clock came and the problem was still
+      unsolved. Issy, the perspiration running down his face, stood up in the
+      Lady May's cockpit and looked out across the bay, smooth and glassy in the
+      afternoon sun.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The sky overhead was clear and blue, but along the eastern and southern
+      horizon was a gray bank of cloud, heaped in tumbled masses.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      A sunburned lobsterman in rubber boots and a sou'wester was smoking on the
+      wharf.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What time you goin' to start for home, Is?&rdquo; he asked.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Oh, in an hour or so,&rdquo; was the absent-minded reply.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Humph! You'd better cast off afore that or you'll be fog bound. It'll be
+      thicker'n dock mud toward sundown, and you'll fetch up in Waptomac 'stead
+      of East Harniss, 'thout you've got a good compass.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Oh, my compass is all right,&rdquo; began Issy, and stopped short. The
+      lobsterman made other attempts at conversation, but they were
+      unproductive. McKay was gazing at the growing fog bank and thinking hard.
+      To doctor an engine may be difficult, but to get lost in a fog&mdash;He
+      took the compass from the glass-lidded binnacle by the wheel, and carrying
+      it into the little cabin, placed it in the cuddy forward.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      It was nearer five than four when the Lady May, her engine barking
+      aggressively, moved out of Denboro Harbor. Mr. Bartlett, the passenger,
+      had been on time and had fumed and fretted at the delay. But Issy was
+      deliberation itself. He had forgotten his quahaug rake, and the lapse of
+      memory entailed a trip to the blacksmith's. Then the gasoline tank needed
+      filling and the battery had to be overhauled.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Are you sure you can make it?&rdquo; queried Sam anxiously. &ldquo;It's important, I
+      tell you. Mighty important.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The skipper snorted in disgust. &ldquo;Make it?&rdquo; he repeated. &ldquo;If the Lady May
+      can't make fourteen mile in two hours&mdash;let alone two'n a ha'f&mdash;then
+      I don't know her. She's one of them boats you read about, she is.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The Cape makes a wide bend between Denboro and Trumet. The distance
+      between these towns is twenty long, curved miles over the road; by water
+      it is reduced to a straight fourteen. And midway between the two, at the
+      center of the curve, is East Harniss.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Lady May coughed briskly on. There was no sea, and she sent long,
+      widening ripples from each side of her bow. Bartlett, leaning over the
+      rail, gazed impatiently ahead. Issy, sprawled on the bench by the wheel,
+      was muttering to himself. Occasionally he glanced toward the east. The
+      gray fog bank was now half way to the zenith and approaching rapidly. The
+      eastern shore had disappeared.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Is! Hi, Is! What are you doing? Don't kill him before my eyes.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy came out of his trance with a start.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What&mdash;what's that?&rdquo; he asked. His passenger was grinning broadly.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What? Kill who?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Why, the big chief, or whoever you had under your knee just then. You've
+      been rolling your eyes and punching air with your fist for the last five
+      minutes. I was getting scared. You're an unmerciful sinner when you get
+      started, ain't you, Is? Who was the victim that time? 'Man Afraid of Hot
+      Water'? or who?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The skipper scowled. He shoved the fist into his pocket.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Naw,&rdquo; he growled. &ldquo;'Twa'n't.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So? Not an Indian? Then it must have been a white man. Some fellow after
+      your girl, perhaps. Hey?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The disconcerted Issy was speechless. His companion's chance shot had
+      scored a bull's-eye. Sam whooped.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That's it!&rdquo; he crowed. &ldquo;Sure thing! Give it to him, Is! Don't spare him.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. McKay chokingly admitted that he &ldquo;wa'n't goin' to.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ho, ho! That's the stuff! But who's SHE, Is? When are you going to marry
+      her?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy grunted spitefully. &ldquo;You ain't married yourself&mdash;not yit,&rdquo; he
+      observed, with concealed sarcasm.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The unsuspecting Bartlett laughed in triumph. &ldquo;No,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;I'm not,
+      that's a fact; but maybe I'm going to be some of these days. It looked
+      pretty dubious for a while, but now it's all right.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Tis, hey? You're sure about that, be you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Guess I am. Great Scott! what's that? Fog?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      A damp breath blew across the boat. The clouds covered the sky overhead
+      and the bay to port. The fog was pouring like smoke across the water.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Fog, by thunder!&rdquo; exclaimed Bartlett.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy smiled. &ldquo;Hum! Yes, 'tis fog, ain't it?&rdquo; he observed.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But what'll we do? It'll be here in a minute, won't it?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Shouldn't be a mite surprised. Looks 's if twas here now.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The fog came on. It reached the Lady May, passed over her, and shut her
+      within gray, wet walls. It was impossible to see a length from her side.
+      Sam swore emphatically. The skipper was provokingly calm. He stepped to
+      the engine, bent over it, and then returned to the wheel.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What are you doing?&rdquo; demanded Bartlett.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Slowin' down, of course. Can't run more'n ha'f speed in a fog like this.
+      'Tain't safe.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Safe! What do I care? I want to get to Trumet.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes? Well, maybe we'll git there if we have luck.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You idiot! We've GOT to get there. How can you tell which way to steer?
+      Get your compass, man! get your compass!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ain't got no compass,&rdquo; was the sulky answer. &ldquo;Left it to home.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Why, no, you didn't. I&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I tell you I did. 'Twas careless of me, I know, but&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But I say you didn't. When you went uptown after that quahaug rake I
+      explored this craft of yours some. The compass is in that little closet at
+      the end of the cabin. I'll get it.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He rose to his feet. Issy sprang forward and seized him by the arm.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Set down!&rdquo; he yelled. &ldquo;Who's runnin' this boat, you or me?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The astounded passenger stared at his companion.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Why, you are,&rdquo; he replied. &ldquo;But that's no reason&mdash;What's the matter
+      with you, anyway? Have your dime novels driven you loony?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy hesitated. For a moment chagrin and rage at this sudden upset of his
+      schemes had gotten the better of his prudence. But Bartlett was taller
+      than he and broad in proportion. And valor&mdash;except of the imaginative
+      brand&mdash;was not Issy's strong point.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There, there, Sam!&rdquo; he explained, smiling crookedly. &ldquo;You mustn't mind
+      me. I'm sort of nervous, I guess. And you mustn't hop up and down in a
+      boat that way. You set still and I'll fetch the compass.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He stumbled across the cockpit and disappeared in the dusk of the cabin.
+      Finding that compass took a long time. Sam lost patience.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What's the matter?&rdquo; he demanded. &ldquo;Can't you find it? Shall I come?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No, no!&rdquo; screamed Issy vehemently. &ldquo;Stay where you be. Catch a-holt of
+      that wheel. We'll be spinnin' circles if you don't. I'm a-comin'.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      But it was another five minutes before he emerged from the cabin, carrying
+      the compass box very carefully with both hands. He placed it in the
+      binnacle and closed the glass lid.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas catched in a bluefish line,&rdquo; he explained. &ldquo;All snarled up, 'twas.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Sam peered through the glass at the compass.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Thunder!&rdquo; he exclaimed. &ldquo;I should say we had spun around. Instead of
+      north being off here where I thought it was, it's 'way out to the right.
+      Queer how fog'll mix a fellow up. Trumet's about northeast, isn't it?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No'theast by no'th's the course. Keep her just there.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The Lady May, still at half speed, kept on through the mist. Time passed.
+      The twilight, made darker still by the fog, deepened. They lit the lantern
+      in order to see the compass card. Issy had the wheel now. Sam was forward,
+      keeping a lookout and fretting at the delay.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It's seven o'clock already,&rdquo; he cried. &ldquo;For Heaven's sake, how late will
+      you be? I've got to be there by quarter of eight. D'you hear? I've GOT
+      to.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, we're gittin' there. Can't expect to travel so fast with part of
+      the power off. You'll be where you're goin' full as soon as you want to
+      be, I cal'late.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      And he chuckled.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Another half hour and, through the wet dimness, a light flashed, vanished,
+      and flashed again. Issy saw it and smiled grimly. Bartlett saw it and
+      shouted.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What's that light?&rdquo; he cried. &ldquo;Did you see it? There it is, off there.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I see it. There's a light at Trumet Neck, ain't there?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Humph! It's been years since I was there, but I thought Trumet light was
+      steady. However&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ain't that the wharf ahead?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Sure enough, out of the dark loomed the bulk of a small wharf, with
+      catboats at anchor near it. Higher up, somewhere on the shore, were the
+      lighted windows of a building.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;By thunder, we're here!&rdquo; exclaimed Sam, and drew a long breath.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy shut off the power altogether, and the Lady May slid easily up to the
+      wharf. Feverishly her skipper made her fast.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, sir!&rdquo; he cried exultantly. &ldquo;We're here. And no Black Rover nor
+      anybody else ever done a better piece of steerin' than that, nuther.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He clambered over the stringpiece, right at the heels of his impatient but
+      grateful passenger. Sam's thanks were profuse and sincere.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I'll never forget it, Is,&rdquo; he declared. &ldquo;I'll never forget it. And you'll
+      have to let me pay you the&mdash;What makes you shake so?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy pulled his arm away and stepped back.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I'll never forget it, Is,&rdquo; continued Sam. &ldquo;I&mdash;Why! What&mdash;?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He was standing at the shore end of the wharf, gazing up at the lighted
+      windows. They were those of a dwelling house&mdash;an old-fashioned house
+      with a back yard sloping down to the landing.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And then Issy McKay leaned forward and spoke in his ear.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You bet you won't forgit it, Sam Bartlett!&rdquo; he crowed, in trembling but
+      delicious triumph. &ldquo;You bet you won't! I've fixed you just the same as the
+      Black Rover fixed the mutineers. Run off with my girl, will ye? And marry
+      her, will ye? I&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Sam interrupted him. &ldquo;Why! WHY!&rdquo; he cried. &ldquo;That's&mdash;that's Gertie's
+      house! This isn't Trumet! IT'S EAST HARNISS!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The next moment he was seized from behind. The skipper's arms were around
+      his waist and the skipper's thin legs twisted about his own. They fell
+      together upon the sand and, as they rolled and struggled, Issy's yells
+      rose loud and high.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Mr. Higgins!&rdquo; he shrieked. &ldquo;Mr. Higgins! Come on! I've got him! I've got
+      the feller that's tryin' to steal your daughter! Come on! I've got him!
+      I'm hangin' to him!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      A door banged open. Some one rushed down the walk. And then a girl's voice
+      cried in alarm:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What is it? Who is it? What IS the matter?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      And from the bundle of legs and arms on the ground two voices exclaimed:
+      &ldquo;GERTIE!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But where IS your father?&rdquo; asked Sam. Issy asked nothing. He merely sat
+      still and listened.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Why, he's at Trumet. At least I suppose he is. Mrs. Jones&mdash;she's
+      gone to telephone to him now&mdash;says that he came home this morning
+      with one of those dreadful 'attacks' of his. And after dinner he seemed so
+      sick that, when she went for the doctor, she wired me at Auntie's to come
+      home. I didn't want to come&mdash;you know why&mdash;but I COULDN'T let
+      him die alone. And so I caught the three o'clock train and came. I knew
+      you'd forgive me. But it seems that when Mrs. Jones came back with the
+      doctor they found father up and dressed and storming like a crazy man. He
+      had received some sort of a letter; he wouldn't say what. And, in spite of
+      all they could do, he insisted on going out. And Cap'n Berry&mdash;the
+      depot master&mdash;says he went to Trumet on the afternoon freight. We
+      must have passed each other on the way. And I'm so&mdash;But why are you
+      HERE? And what were you and Issy doing? And&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Her lover broke in eagerly. &ldquo;Then you're alone now?&rdquo; he asked.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, but&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Good! Your father can't get a train back from Trumet before to-morrow
+      morning. I don't know what this letter was&mdash;but never mind. Perhaps
+      friend McKay knows more about it. It may be that Mr. Higgins is waiting
+      now outside the Baptist church. Gertie, now's our chance. You come with me
+      right up to the minister's. He's a friend of mine. He understands. He'll
+      marry us, I know. Come! We mustn't lose a minute. Your dad may take a
+      notion to drive back.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He led her off up the lane, she protesting, he urging. At the corner of
+      the house he turned.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I say, Is!&rdquo; he called. &ldquo;Don't you want to come to the wedding? Seems to
+      me we owe you that, considering all you've done to help it along. Or
+      perhaps you want to stay and fix that compass of yours.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy didn't answer. Some time after they had gone he arose from the ground
+      and stumbled home. That night he put a paper novel into the stove. Next
+      morning, before going to the depot, he removed an iron spike from the Lady
+      May's compass box. The needle swung back to its proper position.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0018" id="link2HCH0018">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER XVIII
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      THE MOUNTAIN AND MAHOMET
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      The eleventh of July. The little Berry house stood high on its joists and
+      rollers, in the middle of the Hill Boulevard, directly opposite the
+      Edwards lot. Close behind it loomed the big &ldquo;Colonial.&rdquo; Another
+      twenty-four hours, and, even at its one-horse gait, the depot master's
+      dwelling would be beyond the strip of Edwards fence. The &ldquo;Colonial&rdquo; would
+      be ready to move on the lot, and Olive Edwards, the widow, would be
+      obliged to leave her home. In fact, Mr. Williams had notified her that she
+      and her few belongings must be off the premises by the afternoon of the
+      twelfth.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The great Williams was in high good-humor. He chuckled as he talked with
+      his foreman, and the foreman chuckled in return. Simeon Phinney did not
+      chuckle. He was anxious and worried, and even the news of Gertie Higgins's
+      runaway marriage, brought to him by Obed Gott, who&mdash;having been so
+      recently the victim of another unexpected matrimonial alliance&mdash;was
+      wickedly happy over the postmaster's discomfiture, did not interest him
+      greatly.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, I wonder who'll be the next couple,&rdquo; speculated Obed. &ldquo;First Polena
+      and old Hardee, then Gertie Higgins and Sam Bartlett! I declare, Sim,
+      gettin' married unbeknownst to anybody must be catchin', like the measles.
+      Nobody's safe unless they've got a wife or husband livin'. Me and Sol
+      Berry are old baches&mdash;we'd better get vaccinated or WE may come down
+      with the disease. Ho! ho!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      After dinner Mr. Phinney went from his home to the depot. Captain Sol was
+      sitting in the ticket office, with the door shut. On the platform,
+      forlornly sprawled upon the baggage truck, was Issy McKay, the picture of
+      desolation. He started nervously when he heard Simeon's step. As yet
+      Issy's part in the Bartlett-Higgins episode was unknown to the
+      townspeople. Sam and Gertie had considerately kept silence. Beriah had not
+      learned who sent him the warning note, the unlucky missive which had
+      brought his troubles to a climax. But he was bound to learn it, he would
+      find out soon, and then&mdash;No wonder Issy groaned.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Come in here, Sim,&rdquo; said the depot master. Phinney entered the ticket
+      office.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Shut the door,&rdquo; commanded the Captain. The order was obeyed. &ldquo;Well, what
+      is it?&rdquo; asked Berry.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Why, I just run in to see you a minute, Sol, that's all. What are you
+      shut up in here all alone for?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Cause I want to be alone. There's been more than a thousand folks in
+      this depot so far to-day, seems so, and they all wanted to talk. I don't
+      feel like talkin'.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Heard about Gertie Higgins and&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Who told you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hiram Baker told me first. He's a fine feller and he's so tickled, now
+      that his youngster's 'most well, that he cruises around spoutin' talk and
+      joy same as a steamer's stack spouts cinders. He told me. Then Obed Gott
+      and Cornelius Rowe and Redny Blount and Pat Starkey, and land knows how
+      many more, came to tell me. I cut 'em short. Why, even the Major himself
+      condescended to march in, grand and imposin' as a procession, to make
+      proclamations about love laughin' at locksmiths, and so on. Since he got
+      Polena and her bank account he's a bigger man than the President, in his
+      own estimate.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Humph! Well, he better make the best of it while it lasts. P'lena ain't
+      Hetty Green, and her money won't hold out forever.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That's a fact. Still Polena's got sense. She'll hold Hardee in check, I
+      cal'late. I wouldn't wonder if it ended by her bossin' things and the
+      Major actin' as a sort of pet poodle dog&mdash;nice and pretty to walk out
+      with, but always kept at the end of a string.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You didn't go to Higgins's for dinner to-day, did you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No. Nor I shan't go for supper. Beriah's bad enough when he's got nothin'
+      the matter with him but dyspepsy. Now that his sufferin's are complicated
+      with elopements, I don't want to eat with him.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Come and have supper with us.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I guess not, thank you, Sim. I'll get some crackers and cheese and such
+      at the store. I&mdash;I ain't very hungry these days.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He turned his head and looked out of the window. Simeon fidgeted.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sol,&rdquo; he said, after a pause, &ldquo;we'll be past Olive's by to-morrer night.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      No answer. Sim repeated his remark.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I know it,&rdquo; was the short reply.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes&mdash;yes, I s'posed you did, but&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sim, don't bother me now. This is my last day here at the depot, and I've
+      got things to do.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Your last day? Why, what&mdash;?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Sol told briefly of his resignation and of the coming of the new
+      depot master.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But you givin' up your job!&rdquo; gasped Phinney. &ldquo;YOU! Why, what for?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;For instance, I guess. I ain't dependent on the wages, and I'm sick of
+      the whole thing.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But what'll you do?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Don't know.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You&mdash;you won't leave town, will you? Lawsy mercy, I hope not!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Don't know. Maybe I'll know better by and by. I've got to think things
+      out. Run along now, like a good feller. Don't say nothin' about my
+      quittin'. All hands'll know it to-morrow, and that's soon enough.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Simeon departed, his brain in a whirl. Captain Solomon Berry no longer
+      depot master! The world must be coming to an end.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      He remained at his work until supper time. During the meal he ate and said
+      so little that his wife wondered and asked questions. To avoid answering
+      them he hurried out. When he returned, about ten o'clock, he was a changed
+      man. His eyes shone and he fairly danced with excitement.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Emeline!&rdquo; he shouted, as he burst into the sitting room. &ldquo;What do you
+      think? I've got the everlastin'est news to tell!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Good or bad?&rdquo; asked the practical Mrs. Phinney.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Good! So good that&mdash;There! let me tell you. When I left here I went
+      down to the store and hung around till the mail was sorted. Pat Starkey
+      was doin' the sortin', Beriah bein' too upsot by Gertie's gettin' married
+      to attend to anything. Pat called me to the mail window and handed me a
+      letter.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'It's for Olive Edwards,' he says. 'She's been expectin' one for a
+      consider'ble spell, she told me, and maybe this is it. P'r'aps you'd just
+      as soon go round by her shop and leave it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I took the letter and looked at it. Up in one corner was the printed name
+      of an Omaha firm. I never said nothin', but I sartinly hustled on my way
+      up the hill.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Olive was in her little settin' room back of the shop. She was pretty
+      pale, and her eyes looked as if she hadn't been doin' much sleepin'
+      lately. Likewise I noticed&mdash;and it give me a queer feelin' inside&mdash;that
+      her trunk was standin', partly packed, in the corner.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The poor woman!&rdquo; exclaimed Mrs. Phinney.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; went on her husband. &ldquo;Well, I handed over the letter and started to
+      go, but she told me to set down and rest, 'cause I was so out of breath.
+      To tell you the truth, I was crazy to find out what was in that envelope
+      and, being as she'd give me the excuse, I set.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She took the letter over to the lamp and looked at it for much as a
+      minute, as if she was afraid to open it. But at last, and with her fingers
+      shakin' like the palsy, she fetched a long breath and tore off the end of
+      the envelope. It was a pretty long letter, and she read it through. I see
+      her face gettin' whiter and whiter and, when she reached the bottom of the
+      last page, the letter fell onto the floor. Down went her head on her arms,
+      and she cried as if her heart would break. I never felt so sorry for
+      anybody in my life.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Don't, Mrs. Edwards,' I says. 'Please don't. That cousin of yours is a
+      darn ungrateful scamp, and I'd like to have my claws on his neck this
+      minute.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She never even asked me how I knew about the cousin. She was too much
+      upset for that.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh! oh!' she sobs. 'What SHALL I do? Where shall I go? I haven't got a
+      friend in the world!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I couldn't stand that. I went acrost and laid my hand on her shoulder.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Mrs. Edwards,' says I, 'you mustn't say that. You've got lots of
+      friends. I'm your friend. Mr. Hilton's your friend. Yes, and there's
+      another, the best friend of all. If it weren't for him, you'd have been
+      turned out into the street long before this.'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Mrs. Phinney nodded. &ldquo;I'm glad you told her!&rdquo; she exclaimed. &ldquo;She'd ought
+      to know.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That's what I thought,&rdquo; said Simeon.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, she raised her head then and looked at me.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You mean Mr. Williams?' she asks.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That riled me up. 'Williams nothin'!' says I. 'Williams let you stay here
+      'cause he could just as well as not. If he'd known that this other friend
+      was keepin' him from gettin' here, just on your account, he'd have chucked
+      you to glory, promise or no promise. But this friend, this real friend, he
+      don't count cost, nor trouble, nor inconvenience. Hikes his house&mdash;the
+      house he lives in&mdash;right out into the road, moves it to a place where
+      he don't want to go, and&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Mr. Phinney,' she sighs out, 'what do you mean?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And then I told her. She listened without sayin' a word, but her eyes
+      kept gettin' brighter and brighter and she breathed short.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh!' she says, when I'd finished. 'Did he&mdash;did he&mdash;do that for
+      ME?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You bet!' says I. 'He didn't tell me what he was doin' it for&mdash;that
+      ain't Sol's style; but I'm arithmetiker enough to put two and two together
+      and make four. He did it for you, you can bet your last red on that.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She stood up. 'Oh!' she breathes. 'I&mdash;I must go and thank him. I&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But, knowin' Sol, I was afraid. Fust place, there was no tellin' how he'd
+      act, and, besides, he might not take it kindly that I'd told her.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Wait a jiffy,' I says. 'I'll go out and see if he's home. You stay here.
+      I'll be back right off.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Out I put, and over to the Berry house, standin' on its rollers in the
+      middle of the Boulevard. And, just as I got to it, somebody says:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Ahoy, Sim! What's the hurry? Anybody on fire?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas the Cap'n himself, settin' on a pile of movin' joist and smokin' as
+      usual. I didn't waste no time.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Sol,' says I, 'I've just come from Olive's. She's got that letter from
+      the Omaha man. Poor thing! all alone there&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He interrupted me sharp. 'Well?' he snaps. 'What's it say? Will the
+      cousin help her?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No,' I says, 'drat him, he won't!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The answer I got surprised me more'n anything I ever heard or ever will
+      hear.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Thank God!' says Sol Berry. 'That settles it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And I swan to man if he didn't climb down off them timbers and march
+      straight across the street, over to the door of Olive Edwards's home, open
+      it, and go in! I leaned against the joist he'd left, and swabbed my
+      forehead with my sleeve.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He went to HER!&rdquo; gasped Mrs. Phinney.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Wait,&rdquo; continued her husband. &ldquo;I must have stood there twenty minutes
+      when I heard somebody hurryin' down the Boulevard. 'Twas Cornelius Rowe,
+      all red-faced and het up, but bu'stin' with news.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;''Lo, Sim!' says he to me. 'Is Cap'n Sol home? Does he know?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Know? Know what?&rdquo; says I.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Why, the trick Mr. Williams put up on him? Hey? You ain't heard? Well,
+      Mr. Williams's fixed him nice, HE has! Seems Abner Payne hadn't answered
+      Sol's letter tellin' him he'd accept the offer to swap lots, and Williams
+      went up to Wareham where Payne's been stayin' and offered him a thumpin'
+      price for the land on Main Street, and took it. The deed's all made out.
+      Cap'n Sol can't move where he was goin' to, and he's left with his house
+      on the town, as you might say. Ain't it a joke, though? Where is Sol? I
+      want to be the fust to tell him and see how he acts. Is he to home?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I was shook pretty nigh to pieces, but I had some sense left.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No, he ain't,' says I. 'I see him go up street a spell ago.'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Why, Simeon!&rdquo; interrupted Mrs. Phinney once more. &ldquo;Was that true? How
+      COULD you see him when&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Be still! S'pose I was goin' to tell him where Sol HAD gone? I'd have
+      lied myself blue fust. However, Cornelius was satisfied.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'That so?' he grunts. 'By jings! I'm goin' to find him.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Off he went, and the next thing I knew the Edwards door opened, and I
+      heard somebody callin' my name. I went acrost, walkin' in a kind of daze,
+      and there, in the doorway, with the lamp shinin' on 'em, was Cap'n Sol and
+      Olive. The tears was wet on her cheeks, but she was smilin' in a kind of
+      shy, half-believin' sort of way, and as for Sol, he was one broad,
+      satisfied grin.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Cap'n,' I begun, 'I just heard the everlastin'est news that&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Shut up, Sim!' he orders, cheerful. 'You've been a mighty good friend to
+      both of us, and I want you to be the fust to shake hands.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Shake hands?' I stammers, lookin' at 'em. 'WHAT? You don't mean&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I mean shake hands. Don't you want to?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Want to! I give 'em both one more look, and then we shook, up to the
+      elbows; and my grin had the Cap'n's beat holler.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Sim,' he says, after I'd cackled a few minutes, 'I cal'late maybe that
+      white horse is well by this time. P'r'aps we might move a little faster.
+      I'm kind of anxious to get to Main Street.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then I remembered. 'Great gosh all fish-hooks!' I sings out. 'Main
+      Street? Why, there AIN'T no Main Street!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And I gives 'em Cornelius's news. The widow's smile faded out.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh!' says she. 'O Solomon! And I got you into all this trouble!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Cap'n Sol didn't stop grinnin', but he scratched his head. 'Huh!' says
+      he. 'Mark one up for King Williams the Great. Humph!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He thought for a minute and then he laughed out loud. 'Olive,' he says,
+      'if I remember right, you and I always figgered to live on the Shore Road.
+      It's the best site in town. Sim, I guess if that white horse IS well, you
+      can move that shanty of mine right to Cross Street, down that, and back
+      along the Shore Road to the place where it come from. THAT land's mine
+      yet,' says he.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;If that wa'n't him all over! I couldn't think what to say, except that
+      folks would laugh some, I cal'lated.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Not at us, they won't,' says he. 'We'll clear out till the laughin' is
+      over. Olive, to-morrer mornin' we'll call on Parson Hilton and then take
+      the ten o'clock train. I feel's if a trip to Washin'ton would be about
+      right just now.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She started and blushed and then looked up into his face. 'Solomon,' she
+      says, low, 'I really would like to go to Niagara.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He shook his head. 'Old lady,' says he, 'I guess you don't quite
+      understand this thing. See here'&mdash;p'intin' to his house loomin' big
+      and black in the roadway&mdash;'see! the mountain has come to Mahomet.'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Mrs. Phinney had heard enough. She sprang from her chair and seized her
+      husband's hands.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Splendid!&rdquo; she cried, her face beaming. &ldquo;Oh, AIN'T it lovely! Ain't you
+      glad for 'em, Simeon?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Glad! Say, Emeline; there's some of that wild-cherry bounce down cellar,
+      ain't there? Let's break our teetotalism for once and drink a glass to
+      Cap'n and Mrs. Solomon Berry. Jerushy! I got to do SOMETHIN' to
+      celebrate.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      On the Hill Boulevard the summer wind stirred the silverleaf poplars. The
+      thick, black shadows along the sidewalks were heavy with the perfume of
+      flowers. Captain Sol, ex-depot master of East Harniss, strolled on in the
+      dark, under the stars, his hands in his pockets, and in his heart
+      happiness complete and absolute.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Behind him twinkled the lamp in the window of the Edwards house, so soon
+      to be torn down. Before him, over the barberry hedge, blazed the windows
+      of the mansion the owner of which was responsible for it all. The windows
+      were open, and through them sounded the voices of the mighty Ogden
+      Hapworth Williams and his wife, engaged in a lively altercation. It was an
+      open secret that their married life was anything but peaceful.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What are you grumbling about now?&rdquo; demanded 'Williams. &ldquo;Don't I give you
+      more money than&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Nonsense!&rdquo; sneered Mrs. Williams, in scornful derision. &ldquo;Nonsense, I say!
+      Money is all there is to you, Ogden. In other things, the real things of
+      this world, those you can't buy with money, you're a perfect imbecile. You
+      know nothing whatever about them.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Sol, alone on the walk by the hedge, glanced in the direction of
+      the shrill voice, then back at the lamp in Olive's window. And he laughed
+      aloud.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br />
+    </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+
+
+
+
+
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+</pre>
+  </body>
+</html>
diff --git a/2307.txt b/2307.txt
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Depot Master, by Joseph C. Lincoln
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Depot Master
+
+Author: Joseph C. Lincoln
+
+Release Date: May 16, 2006 [EBook #2307]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE DEPOT MASTER ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Donald Lainson
+
+
+
+
+
+THE DEPOT MASTER
+
+By Joseph C. Lincoln
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+
+CHAPTER
+
+I.--   AT THE DEPOT
+
+II.--  SUPPLY AND DEMAND
+
+III.-- "STINGY GABE"
+
+IV.--  THE MAJOR
+
+V.--   A BABY AND A ROBBERY
+
+VI.--  AVIATION AND AVARICE
+
+VII.-- CAPTAIN SOL DECIDES TO MOVE
+
+VIII.--THE OBLIGATIONS OF A GENTLEMAN
+
+IX.--  THE WIDOW BASSETT
+
+X.--   CAPTAIN JONADAB GOES
+
+XI.--  THE GREAT METROPOLIS
+
+XII.-- A VISION SENT
+
+XIII.--DUSENBERRY'S BIRTHDAY
+
+XIV.-- EFFIE'S FATE
+
+XV.--  THE "HERO" AND THE COWBOY
+
+XVI.-- THE CRUISE OF THE RED CAR
+
+XVII.--ISSY'S REVENGE
+
+XVIII. THE MOUNTAIN AND MAHOMET
+
+
+
+
+THE DEPOT MASTER
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER I
+
+AT THE DEPOT
+
+
+Mr. Simeon Phinney emerged from the side door of his residence and
+paused a moment to light his pipe in the lee of the lilac bushes. Mr.
+Phinney was a man of various and sundry occupations, and his sign,
+nailed to the big silver-leaf in the front yard, enumerated a few of
+them. "Carpenter, Well Driver, Building Mover, Cranberry Bogs Seen to
+with Care and Dispatch, etc., etc.," so read the sign. The house was
+situated in "Phinney's Lane," the crooked little byway off "Cross
+Street," between the "Shore Road" at the foot of the slope and the "Hill
+Boulevard"--formerly "Higgins's Roost"--at the top. From the Phinney
+gate the view was extensive and, for the most part, wet. The hill
+descended sharply, past the "Shore Road," over the barren fields and
+knolls covered with bayberry bushes and "poverty grass," to the yellow
+sand of the beach and the gray, weather-beaten fish-houses scattered
+along it. Beyond was the bay, a glimmer in the sunset light.
+
+Mrs. Phinney, in the kitchen, was busy with the supper dishes. Her
+husband, wheezing comfortably at his musical pipe, drew an ancient
+silver watch from his pocket and looked at its dial. Quarter past six.
+Time to be getting down to the depot and the post office. At least a
+dozen male citizens of East Harniss were thinking that very thing at
+that very moment. It was a community habit of long standing to see the
+train come in and go after the mail. The facts that the train bore no
+passengers in whom you were intimately interested, and that you expected
+no mail made little difference. If you were a man of thirty or older,
+you went to the depot or the "club," just as your wife or sisters went
+to the sewing circle, for sociability and mild excitement. If you were
+a single young man you went to the post office for the same reason that
+you attended prayer meeting. If you were a single young lady you went
+to the post office and prayer meeting to furnish a reason for the young
+man.
+
+Mr. Phinney, replacing his watch in his pocket, meandered to the
+sidewalk and looked down the hill and along the length of the "Shore
+Road." Beside the latter highway stood a little house, painted a
+spotless white, its window blinds a vivid green. In that house dwelt,
+and dwelt alone, Captain Solomon Berry, Sim Phinney's particular
+friend. Captain Sol was the East Harniss depot master and, from long
+acquaintance, Mr. Phinney knew that he should be through supper and
+ready to return to the depot, by this time. The pair usually walked
+thither together when the evening meal was over.
+
+But, except for the smoke curling lazily from the kitchen chimney,
+there was no sign of life about the Berry house. Either Captain Sol had
+already gone, or he was not yet ready to go. So Mr. Phinney decided that
+waiting was chancey, and set out alone.
+
+He climbed Cross Street to where the "Hill Boulevard," abiding place of
+East Harniss's summer aristocracy, bisected it, and there, standing on
+the corner, and consciously patronizing the spot where he so stood, was
+Mr. Ogden Hapworth Williams, no less.
+
+Mr. Williams was the village millionaire, patron, and, in a gentlemanly
+way, "boomer." His estate on the Boulevard was the finest in the county,
+and he, more than any one else, was responsible for the "buying up"
+by wealthy people from the city of the town's best building sites, the
+spots commanding "fine marine sea views," to quote from Abner Payne,
+local real estate and insurance agent. His own estate was fine enough to
+be talked about from one end of the Cape to the other and he had bought
+the empty lot opposite and made it into a miniature park, with flower
+beds and gravel walks, though no one but he or his might pick the
+flowers or tread the walks. He had brought on a wealthy friend from New
+York and a cousin from Chicago, and they, too, had bought acres on the
+Boulevard and erected palatial "cottages" where once were the houses of
+country people. Local cynics suggested that the sign on the East Harniss
+railroad station should be changed to read "Williamsburg." "He owns the
+place, body and soul," said they.
+
+As Sim Phinney climbed the hill the magnate, pompous, portly, and
+imposing, held up a signaling finger. "Just as if he was hailin' a horse
+car," described Simeon afterward.
+
+"Phinney," he said, "come here, I want to speak to you."
+
+The man of many trades obediently approached.
+
+"Good evenin', Mr. Williams," he ventured.
+
+"Phinney," went on the great man briskly, "I want you to give me your
+figures on a house moving deal. I have bought a house on the Shore Road,
+the one that used to belong to the--er--Smalleys, I believe."
+
+Simeon was surprised. "What, the old Smalley house?" he exclaimed. "You
+don't tell me!"
+
+"Yes, it's a fine specimen--so my wife says--of the pure Colonial,
+whatever that is, and I intend moving it to the Boulevard. I want your
+figures for the job."
+
+The building mover looked puzzled. "To the Boulevard?" he said. "Why, I
+didn't know there was a vacant lot on the Boulevard, Mr. Williams."
+
+"There isn't now, but there will be soon. I have got hold of the hundred
+feet left from the old Seabury estate."
+
+Mr. Phinney drew a long breath. "Why!" he stammered, "that's where Olive
+Edwards--her that was Olive Seabury--lives, ain't it?"
+
+"Yes," was the rather impatient answer. "She has been living there. But
+the place was mortgaged up to the handle and--ahem--the mortgage is mine
+now."
+
+For an instant Simeon did not reply. He was gazing, not up the Boulevard
+in the direction of the "Seabury place" but across the slope of the
+hill toward the home of Captain Sol Berry, the depot master. There was a
+troubled look on his face.
+
+"Well?" inquired Williams briskly, "when can you give me the figures?
+They must be low, mind. No country skin games, you understand."
+
+"Hey?" Phinney came out of his momentary trance. "Yes, yes, Mr.
+Williams. They'll be low enough. Times is kind of dull now and I'd
+like a movin' job first-rate. I'll give 'em to you to-morrer. But--but
+Olive'll have to move, won't she? And where's she goin'?"
+
+"She'll have to move, sure. And the eyesore on that lot now will come
+down."
+
+The "eyesore" was the four room building, combined dwelling and shop of
+Mrs. Olive Edwards, widow of "Bill Edwards," once a promising young man,
+later town drunkard and ne'er-do-well, dead these five years, luckily
+for himself and luckier--in a way--for the wife who had stuck by him
+while he wasted her inheritance in a losing battle with John Barleycorn.
+At his death the fine old Seabury place had dwindled to a lone hundred
+feet of land, the little house, and a mortgage on both. Olive had opened
+a "notion store" in her front parlor and had fought on, proudly refusing
+aid and trying to earn a living. She had failed. Again Phinney stared
+thoughtfully at the distant house of Captain Sol.
+
+"But Olive," he said, slowly. "She ain't got no folks, has she? What'll
+become of her? Where'll she move to?"
+
+"That," said Mr. Williams, with a wave of a fat hand, "is not my
+business. I am sorry for her, if she's hard up. But I can't be
+responsible if men will drink up their wives' money. Look out for number
+one; that's business. I sha'n't be unreasonable with her. She can stay
+where she is until the new house I've bought is moved to that lot. Then
+she must clear out. I've told her that. She knows all about it. Well,
+good-by, Phinney. I shall expect your bid to-morrow. And, mind, don't
+try to get the best of me, because you can't do it."
+
+He turned and strutted back up the Boulevard. Sim Phinney, pondering
+deeply and very grave, continued on his way, down Cross Street
+to Main--naming the village roads was another of the Williams'
+"improvements"--and along that to the crossing, East Harniss's business
+and social center at train times.
+
+The station--everyone called it "deepo," of course--was then a small red
+building, old and out of date, but scrupulously neat because of Captain
+Berry's rigid surveillance. Close beside it was the "Boston Grocery,
+Dry Goods and General Store," Mr. Beriah Higgins, proprietor. Beriah
+was postmaster and the post office was in his store. The male citizen
+of middle age or over, seeking opportunity for companionship and chat,
+usually went first to the depot, sat about in the waiting room until the
+train came in, superintended that function, then sojourned to the post
+office until the mail was sorted, returning later, if he happened to be
+a particular friend of the depot master, to sit and smoke and yarn until
+Captain Sol announced that it was time to "turn in."
+
+When Mr. Phinney entered the little waiting room he found it already
+tenanted. Captain Sol had not yet arrived, but official authority was
+represented by "Issy" McKay--his full name was Issachar Ulysses Grant
+McKay--a long-legged, freckled-faced, tow-headed youth of twenty, who,
+as usual, was sprawled along the settee by the wall, engrossed in
+a paper covered dime novel. "Issy" was a lover of certain kinds of
+literature and reveled in lurid fiction. As a youngster he had, at
+the age of thirteen, after a course of reading in the "Deadwood Dick
+Library," started on a pedestrian journey to the Far West, where,
+being armed with home-made tomahawk and scalping knife, he contemplated
+extermination of the noble red man. A wrathful pursuing parent had
+collared the exterminator at the Bayport station, to the huge delight of
+East Harniss, young and old. Since this adventure Issy had been famous,
+in a way.
+
+He was Captain Sol Berry's assistant at the depot. Why an assistant
+was needed was a much discussed question. Why Captain Sol, a retired
+seafaring man with money in the bank, should care to be depot master
+at ten dollars a week was another. The Captain himself said he took the
+place because he wanted to do something that was "half way between a
+loaf and a job." He employed an assistant at his own expense because
+he "might want to stretch the loafin' half." And he hired Issy
+because--well, because "most folks in East Harniss are alike and you can
+always tell about what they'll say or do. Now Issy's different. The Lord
+only knows what HE'S likely to do, and that makes him interestin' as a
+conundrum, to guess at. He kind of keeps my sense of responsibility from
+gettin' mossy, Issy does."
+
+"Issy," hailed Mr. Phinney, "has the Cap'n got here yet?"
+
+Issy answered not. The villainous floorwalker had just proffered
+matrimony or summary discharge to "Flora, the Beautiful Shop Girl," and
+pending her answer, the McKay mind had no room for trifles.
+
+"Issy!" shouted Simeon. "I say, Is', Wake up, you foolhead! Has Cap'n
+Sol--"
+
+"No, he ain't, Sim," volunteered Ed Crocker. He and his chum, Cornelius
+Rowe, were seated in two of the waiting room chairs, their feet on two
+others. "He ain't got here yet. We was just talkin' about him. You've
+heard about Olive Edwards, I s'pose likely, ain't you?"
+
+Phinney nodded gloomily.
+
+"Yes," he said, "I've heard."
+
+"Well, it's too bad," continued Crocker. "But, after all, it's Olive's
+own fault. She'd ought to have married Sol Berry when she had the
+chance. What she ever gave him the go-by for, after the years they was
+keepin' comp'ny, is more'n I can understand."
+
+Cornelius Rowe shook his head, with an air of wisdom. Captain Sol,
+himself, remarked once: "I wonder sometimes the Almighty ain't jealous
+of Cornelius, he knows so much and is so responsible for the runnin' of
+all creation."
+
+"Humph!" grunted Mr. Rowe. "There's more to that business than you folks
+think. Olive didn't notice Bill Edwards till Sol went off to sea and
+stayed two years and over. How do you know she shook Sol? You might just
+as well say he shook her. He always was stubborn as an off ox and cranky
+as a windlass. I wonder how he feels now, when she's lost her last red
+and is goin' to be drove out of house and home. And all on account of
+that fool 'mountain and Mahomet' business."
+
+"WHICH?" asked Mr. Crocker.
+
+"Never mind that, Cornelius," put in Phinney, sharply. "Why don't you
+let other folks' affairs alone? That was a secret that Olive told your
+sister and you've got no right to go blabbin'."
+
+"Aw, hush up, Sim! I ain't tellin' no secrets to anybody but Ed here,
+and he ain't lived in East Harniss long or he'd know it already. The
+mountain and Mahomet? Why, them was the last words Sol and Olive had.
+'Twas Sol's stubbornness that was most to blame. That was his one bad
+fault. He would have his own way and he wouldn't change. Olive had set
+her heart on goin' to Washin'ton for their weddin' tower. Sol wanted
+to go to Niagara. They argued a long time, and finally Olive says, 'No,
+Solomon, I'm not goin' to give in this time. I have all the others, but
+it's not fair and it's not right, and no married life can be happy where
+one does all the sacrificin'. If you care for me you'll do as I want
+now.'
+
+"And he laughs and says, 'All right, I'll sacrifice after this, but you
+and me must see Niagara.' And she was sot and he was sotter, and at last
+they quarreled. He marches out of the door and says: 'Very good. When
+you're ready to be sensible and change your mind, you can come to me.
+And says Olive, pretty white but firm: 'No, Solomon, I'm right and
+you're not. I'm afraid this time the mountain must come to Mahomet.'
+That ended it. He went away and never come back, and after a long spell
+she give in to her dad and married Bill Edwards. Foolish? 'Well, now,
+WA'N'T it!"
+
+"Humph!" grunted Crocker. "She must have been a born gump to let a smart
+man like him get away just for that."
+
+"There's a good many born gumps not so far from here as her house,"
+interjected Phinney. "You remember that next time you look in the glass,
+Ed Crocker. And--and--well, there's no better friend of Sol Berry's on
+earth than I am, but, so fur as their quarrel was concerned, if you ask
+me I'd have to say Olive was pretty nigh right."
+
+"Maybe--maybe," declared the allwise Cornelius, "but just the same if I
+was Sol Berry, and knew my old girl was likely to go to the poorhouse,
+I'll bet my conscience--"
+
+"S-ssh!" hissed Crocker, frantically. Cornelius stopped in the middle
+of his sentence, whirled in his chair, and looked up. Behind him in the
+doorway of the station stood Captain Sol himself. The blue cap he always
+wore was set back on his head, a cigar tipped upward from the corner
+of his mouth, and there was a grim look in his eye and about the smooth
+shaven lips above the short, grayish-brown beard.
+
+"Issy" sprang from his settee and jammed the paper novel into his
+pocket. Ed Crocker's sunburned face turned redder yet. Sim Phinney
+grinned at Mr. Rowe, who was very much embarrassed.
+
+"Er--er--evenin', Cap'n Sol," he stammered. "Nice, seasonable weather,
+ain't it? Been a nice day."
+
+"Um," grunted the depot master, knocking the ashes from his cigar.
+
+"Just right for workin' outdoor," continued Cornelius.
+
+"I guess it must be. I saw your wife rakin' the yard this mornin'."
+
+Phinney doubled up with a chuckle. Mr. Rowe swallowed hard. "I--I TOLD
+her I'd rake it myself soon's I got time," he sputtered.
+
+"Um. Well, I s'pose she realized your time was precious. Evenin', Sim,
+glad to see you."
+
+He held out his hand and Phinney grasped it.
+
+"Issy," said Captain Sol, "you'd better get busy with the broom, hadn't
+you. It's standin' over in that corner and I wouldn't wonder if it
+needed exercise. Sim, the train ain't due for twenty minutes yet. That
+gives us at least three quarters of an hour afore it gets here. Come
+outside a spell. I want to talk to you."
+
+He led the way to the platform, around the corner of the station, and
+seated himself on the baggage truck. That side of the building, being
+furthest from the street, was out of view from the post office and
+"general store."
+
+"What was it you wanted to talk about, Sol?" asked Simeon, sitting down
+beside his friend on the truck.
+
+The Captain smoked in silence for a moment. Then he asked a question in
+return.
+
+"Sim," he said, "have you heard anything about Williams buying the
+Smalley house? Is it true?"
+
+Phinney nodded. "Yup," he answered, "it's true. Williams was just
+talkin' to me and I know all about his buyin' it and where it's goin'."
+
+He repeated the conversation with the great man. Captain Sol did
+not interrupt. He smoked on, and a frown gathered and deepened as he
+listened.
+
+"Humph!" he said, when his friend had concluded. "Humph! Sim, do you
+have any idea what--what Olive Seabury will do when she has to go?"
+
+Phinney glanced at him. It was the first time in twenty years that he
+had heard Solomon Berry mention the name of his former sweetheart. And
+even now he did not call her by her married name, the name of her late
+husband.
+
+"No," replied Simeon. "No, Sol, I ain't got the least idea. Poor thing!"
+
+Another interval. Then: "Well, Sim, find out if you can, and let me
+know. And," turning his head and speaking quietly but firmly, "don't let
+anybody ELSE know I asked."
+
+"Course I won't, Sol, you know that. But don't it seem awful mean
+turnin' her out so? I wouldn't think Mr. Williams would do such a
+thing."
+
+His companion smiled grimly; "I would," he said. "'Business is
+business,' that's his motto. That and 'Look out for number one.'"
+
+"Yes, he said somethin' to me about lookin' out for number one."
+
+"Did he? Humph!" The Captain's smile lost a little of its bitterness
+and broadened. He seemed to be thinking and to find amusement in the
+process.
+
+"What you grinnin' at?" demanded Phinney.
+
+"Oh, I was just rememberin' how he looked out for number one the
+first--no, the second time I met him. I don't believe he's forgot it.
+Maybe that's why he ain't quite so high and mighty to me as he is to the
+rest of you fellers. Ha! ha! He tried to patronize me when I first came
+back here and took this depot and I just smiled and asked him what the
+market price of johnny-cake was these days. He got red clear up to the
+brim of his tall hat. Humph! 'TWAS funny."
+
+"The market price of JOHNNY-CAKE! He must have thought you was loony."
+
+"No. I'm the last man he'd think was loony. You see I met him a fore he
+came here to live at all."
+
+"You did? Where?"
+
+"Oh, over to Wellmouth. 'Twas the year afore I come back to East
+Harniss, myself, after my long stretch away from it. I never intended to
+see the Cape again, but I couldn't stay away somehow. I've told you
+that much--how I went over to Wellmouth and boarded a spell, got sick
+of that, and, just to be doin' somethin' and not for the money, bought
+a catboat and took out sailin' parties from Wixon and Wingate's summer
+hotel."
+
+"And you met Mr. Williams? Well, I snum! Was he at the hotel?"
+
+"No, not exactly. I met him sort of casual this second time."
+
+"SECOND time? Had you met him afore that?"
+
+"Don't get ahead of the yarn, Sim. It happened this way: You see, I was
+comin' along the road between East Wellmouth and the Center when I run
+afoul of him. He was fat and shiny, and drivin' a skittish horse hitched
+to a fancy buggy. When he sighted me he hove to and hailed.
+
+"'Here you!' says he, in a voice as fat as the rest of him. 'Your name's
+Berry, ain't it.'
+
+"'Yup,' says I.
+
+"'Methusalum Berry or Jehoshaphat Berry or Sheba Berry, or somethin'
+like that? Hey?' he says.
+
+"'Well,' says I, 'the last shot you fired comes nighest the bull's eye.
+They christened me Solomon, but 'twa'n't my fault; I was young at the
+time and they took advantage.'
+
+"He grinned a kind of lopsided grin, like he had a lemon in his mouth,
+and commenced to cuss the horse for tryin' to climb a pine tree.
+
+"'I knew 'twas some Bible outrage or other,' he says. 'There's more
+Bible names in this forsaken sand heap than there is Christians, a good
+sight. When I meet a man with a Bible name and chin whiskers I hang on
+to my watch. The feller that sets out to do me has got to have a better
+make up than that, you bet your life. 'Well, see here, King Sol; can you
+run a gasoline launch?'
+
+"'Why, yes, I guess I can run 'most any of the everyday kinds,' says
+I, pullin' thoughtful at my own chin whiskers. This fat man had got me
+interested. He was so polite and folksy in his remarks. Didn't seem to
+stand on no ceremony, as you might say. Likewise there was a kind of
+familiar somethin' about his face. I knew mighty well I'd never met him
+afore, and yet I seemed to have a floatin' memory of him, same as a chap
+remembers the taste of the senna and salts his ma made him take when he
+was little.
+
+"'All right,' says he, sharp. 'Then you come around to my landin'
+to-morrer mornin' at eight o'clock prompt and take me out in my launch
+to the cod-fishin' grounds. I'll give you ten dollars to take me out
+there and back.'
+
+"'Well,' says I, 'ten dollars is a good price enough. Do I furnish--'
+
+"'You furnish nothin' except your grub,' he interrupts. 'The launch'll
+be ready and the lines and hooks and bait'll be ready. My own man was to
+do the job, but he and I had a heart-to-heart talk just now and I told
+him where he could go and go quick. No smart Alec gets the best of me,
+even if he has got a month's contract. You run that launch and put me on
+the fishin' grounds. I pay you for that and bringin' me back again. And
+I furnish my own extras and you can furnish yours. I don't want any of
+your Yankee bargainin'. See?'
+
+"I saw. There wa'n't no real reason why I couldn't take the job. 'Twas
+well along into September; the hotel was closed for the season; and
+about all I had on my hands just then was time.
+
+"'All right,' says I, 'it's a deal. If you'll guarantee to have your
+launch ready, I--'
+
+"'That's my business,' he says. 'It'll be ready. If it ain't you'll get
+your pay just the same. To-morrer mornin' at eight o'clock. And don't
+you forget and be late. Gid-dap, you blackguard!' says he to the horse.
+
+"'Hold on, just a minute,' I hollers, runnin' after him. 'I don't want
+to be curious nor nosey, you understand, but seems 's if it might help
+me to be on time if I knew where your launch was goin' to be and what
+your name was.'
+
+"He pulled up then. 'Humph!' he says, 'if you don't know my name and
+more about my private affairs than I do myself, you're the only one in
+this county that don't. My name's Williams, and I live in what you folks
+call the Lathrop place over here toward Trumet. The launch is at my
+landin' down in front of the house.'
+
+"He drove off then and I walked along thinkin'. I knew who he was
+now, of course. There was consider'ble talk when the Lathrop place was
+rented, and I gathered that the feller who hired it answered to the hail
+of Williams and was a retired banker, sufferin' from an enlarged income
+and the diseases that go along with it. He lived alone up there in the
+big house, except for a cranky housekeeper and two or three servants.
+This was afore he got married, Sim; his wife's tamed him a little. Then
+the yarns about his temper and language would have filled a log book.
+
+"But all this was way to one side of the mark-buoy, so fur as I was
+concerned. I'd cruised with cranks afore and I thought I could stand
+this one--ten dollars' worth of him, anyhow. Bluster and big talk may
+scare some folks, but to me they're like Aunt Hepsy Parker's false
+teeth, the further off you be from 'em the more real they look. So the
+next mornin' I was up bright and early and on my way over to the Lathrop
+landin'.
+
+"The launch was there, made fast alongside the little wharf. Nice,
+slick-lookin' craft she was, too, all varnish and gilt gorgeousness. I'd
+liked her better if she'd carried a sail, for it's my experience that
+canvas is a handy thing to have aboard in case of need; but she looked
+seaworthy enough and built for speed.
+
+"While I was standin' on the pier lookin' down at her I heard footsteps
+and brisk remarks from behind the bushes on the bank, and here comes
+Williams, puffin' and blowin', followed by a sulky-lookin' hired man
+totin' a deckload of sweaters and ileskins, with a lunch basket on top.
+Williams himself wan't carryin' anything but his temper, but he hadn't
+forgot none of that.
+
+"'Hello, Berry,' says he to me. 'You are on time, ain't you. Blessed if
+it ain't a comfort to find somebody who'll do what I tell 'em. Now you,'
+he says to the servant, 'put them things aboard and clear out as quick
+as you've a mind to. You and I are through; understand? Don't let me
+find you hangin' around the place when I get back. Cast off, Sol.'
+
+"The man dumped the dunnage into the launch, pretty average ugly, and me
+and the boss climbed aboard. I cast off.
+
+"'Mr. Williams,' says the man, kind of pleadin', 'ain't you goin' to pay
+me the rest of my month's wages?'
+
+"Williams told him he wa'n't, and added trimmin's to make it emphatic.
+
+"I started the engine and we moved out at a good clip. All at once that
+hired man runs to the end of the wharf and calls after us.
+
+"'All right for you, you fat-head!' he yells. 'You'll be sorry for what
+you done to me.'
+
+"I cal'late the boss would have liked to go back and lick him, but I
+was hired to go a-fishin', not to watch a one-sided prize fight, and I
+thought 'twas high time we started.
+
+"The name of that launch was the Shootin' Star, and she certainly
+lived up to it. 'Twas one of them slick, greasy days, with no sea worth
+mentionin' and we biled along fine. We had to, because the cod ledge is
+a good many mile away, 'round Sandy P'int out to sea, and, judgin' by
+what I'd seen of Fatty so fur, I wa'n't hankerin' to spend more time
+with him than was necessary. More'n that, there was fog signs showin'.
+
+"'When was you figgerin' on gettin' back, Mr. Williams?' I asked him.
+
+"'When I've caught as many fish as I want to,' he says. 'I told that
+housekeeper of mine that I'd be back when I got good and ready; it might
+be to-night and it might be ten days from now. "If I ain't back in a
+week you can hunt me up," I told her; "but not before. And that goes."
+I've got HER trained all right. She knows me. It's a pity if a man can't
+be independent of females.'
+
+"I knew consider'ble many men that was subjects for pity, 'cordin' to
+that rule. But I wa'n't in for no week's cruise, and I told him so. He
+said of course not; we'd be home that evenin'.
+
+"The Shootin' Star kept slippin' along. 'Twas a beautiful mornin' and,
+after a spell, it had its effect, even on a crippled disposition like
+that banker man's. He lit up a cigar and begun to get more sociable, in
+his way. Commenced to ask me questions about myself.
+
+"By and by he says: 'Berry, I suppose you figger that it's a smart thing
+to get ten dollars out of me for a trip like this, hey?'
+
+"'Not if it's to last a week, I don't,' says I.
+
+"'It's your lookout if it does,' he says prompt. 'You get ten for takin'
+me out and back. If you ain't back on time 'tain't my fault.'
+
+"'Unless this craft breaks down,' I says.
+
+"''Twon't break down. I looked after that. My motto is to look out for
+number one every time, and it's a mighty good motto. At any rate, it's
+made my money for me.'
+
+"He went on, preachin' about business shrewdness and how it paid, and
+how mean and tricky in little deals we Rubes was, and yet we didn't
+appreciate how to manage big things, till I got kind of sick of it.
+
+"'Look here, Mr. Williams,' says I, 'you know how I make my money--what
+little I do make--or you say you do. Now, if it ain't a sassy question,
+how did you make yours?'
+
+"Well, he made his by bein' shrewd and careful and always lookin' out
+for number one. 'Number one' was his hobby. I gathered that the heft of
+his spare change had come from dickers in stocks and bonds.
+
+"'Humph!' says I. 'Well, speakin' of tricks and meanness, I've allers
+heard tell that there was some of them things hitched to the tail of
+the stock market. What makes the stock market price of--well, of wheat,
+we'll say?'
+
+"That was regulated, so he said, by the law of supply and demand. If a
+feller had all the wheat there was and another chap had to have some or
+starve, why, the first one had a right to gouge t'other chap's last cent
+away from him afore he let it go.
+
+"'That's legitimate,' he says. 'That's cornerin' the market. Law of
+supply and demand exemplified.'
+
+"''Cordin' to that law,' says I, 'when you was so set on fishin' to-day
+and hunted me up to run your boat here--'cause I was about the only chap
+who could run it and wa'n't otherwise busy--I'd ought to have charged
+you twenty dollars instead of ten.'
+
+"'Sure you had,' he says, grinnin'. 'But you weren't shrewd enough to
+grasp the situation and do it. Now the deal's closed and it's too late.'
+
+"He went on talkin' about 'pools' and deals' and such. How prices of
+this stock and that was shoved up a-purpose till a lot of folks had
+put their money in it and then was smashed flat so's all hands but the
+'poolers' would be what he called 'squeezed out,' and the gang would get
+their cash. That was legitimate, too--'high finance,' he said.
+
+"'But how about the poor folks that had their savin's in them stocks,'
+I asks, 'and don't know high financin'? Where's the law of supply and
+demand come in for them?'
+
+"He laughed. 'They supply the suckers and the demand for money,' says
+he.
+
+"By eleven we was well out toward the fishin' grounds. 'Twas the bad
+season now; the big fish had struck off still further and there wa'n't
+another boat in sight. The land was just a yeller and green smooch along
+the sky line and the waves was runnin' bigger. The Shootin' Star was
+seaworthy, though, and I wa'n't worried about her. The only thing that
+troubled me was the fog, and that was pilin' up to wind'ard. I'd called
+Fatty's attention to it when we fust started, but he said he didn't care
+a red for fog. Well, I didn't much care nuther, for we had a compass
+aboard and the engine was runnin' fine. What wind there was was blowin'
+offshore.
+
+"And then, all to once, the engine STOPPED runnin'. I give the wheel a
+whirl, but she only coughed, consumptive-like, and quit again. I went
+for'ard to inspect, and, if you'll believe it, there wa'n't a drop of
+gasoline left in the tank. The spare cans had ought to have been full,
+and they was--but 'twas water they was filled with.
+
+"'Is THIS the way you have your boat ready for me?' I remarks,
+sarcastic.
+
+"'That--that man of mine told me he had everything filled,' he stammers,
+lookin' scart.
+
+"'Yes,' says I, 'and I heard him hint likewise that he was goin' to make
+you sorry. I guess he's done it.'
+
+"Well, sir! the brimstone names that Fatty called that man was somethin'
+surprisin' to hear. When he'd used up all he had in stock he invented
+new ones. When the praise service was over he turns to me and says: 'But
+what are we goin' to do?'
+
+"'Do?' says I. 'That's easy. We're goin' to drift.'
+
+"And that's what we done. I tried to anchor, but we wa'n't over the
+ledge and the iron wouldn't reach bottom by a mile, more or less. I
+rigged up a sail out of the oar and the canvas spray shield, but there
+wa'n't wind enough to give us steerageway. So we drifted and drifted,
+out to sea. And by and by the fog come down and shut us in, and that
+fixed what little hope I had of bein' seen by the life patrol on shore.
+
+"The breeze died out flat about three o'clock. In one way this was a
+good thing. In another it wa'n't, because we was well out in deep water,
+and when the wind did come it was likely to come harder'n we needed.
+However, there wa'n't nothin' to do but wait and hope for the best, as
+the feller said when his wife's mother was sick.
+
+"It was gettin' pretty well along toward the edge of the evenin' when
+I smelt the wind a-comin'. It came in puffs at fust, and every puff was
+healthier than the one previous. Inside of ten minutes it was blowin'
+hard, and the seas were beginnin' to kick up. I got up my jury rig--the
+oar and the spray shield--and took the helm. There wa'n't nothin' to
+do but run afore it, and the land knows where we would fetch up. At any
+rate, if the compass was right, we was drivin' back into the bay again,
+for the wind had hauled clear around.
+
+"The Shootin' Star jumped and sloshed. Fatty had on all the ileskins and
+sweaters, but he was shakin' like a custard pie.
+
+"'Oh, oh, heavens!' he chatters. 'What will we do? Will we drown?'
+
+"'Don't know,' says I, tuggin' at the wheel and tryin' to sight the
+compass. 'You've got the best chance of the two of us, if it's true that
+fat floats.'
+
+"I thought that might cheer him up some, but it didn't. A big wave
+heeled us over then and a keg or two of salt water poured over the
+gunwale. He give a yell and jumped up.
+
+"'My Lord!' he screams. 'We're sinkin'. Help! help!'
+
+"'Set down!' I roared. 'Thought you knew how to act in a boat. Set down!
+d'you hear me? SET DOWN AND SET STILL!'
+
+"He set. Likewise he shivered and groaned. It got darker all the time
+and the wind freshened every minute. I expected to see that jury mast go
+by the board at any time. Lucky for us it held.
+
+"No use tellin' about the next couple of hours. 'Cordin' to my reckonin'
+they was years and we'd ought to have sailed plumb through the broadside
+of the Cape, and be makin' a quick run for Africy. But at last we got
+into smoother water, and then, right acrost our bows, showed up a white
+strip. The fog had pretty well blowed clear and I could see it.
+
+"'Land, ho!' I yells. 'Stand by! WE'RE goin' to bump.'"
+
+Captain Sol stopped short and listened. Mr. Phinney grasped his arm.
+
+"For the dear land sakes, Sol," he exclaimed, "don't leave me hangin' in
+them breakers no longer'n you can help! Heave ahead! DID you bump?"
+
+The depot master chuckled.
+
+"DID we?" he repeated. "Well, I'll tell you that by and by. Here comes
+the train and I better take charge of the ship. Anything so responsible
+as seein' the cars come in without me to help would give Issy the
+jumpin' heart disease."
+
+He sprang from the truck and hastened toward the door of the station.
+Phinney, rising to follow him, saw, over the dark green of the swamp
+cedars at the head of the track, an advancing column of smoke. A whistle
+sounded. The train was coming in.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II
+
+SUPPLY AND DEMAND
+
+
+And now life in East Harniss became temporarily fevered. Issy McKay
+dashed out of the station and rushed importantly up and down the
+platform. Ed Crocker and Cornelius Rowe emerged and draped themselves
+in statuesque attitudes against the side of the building. Obed Gott came
+hurrying from his paint and oil shop, which was next to the "general
+store." Mr. Higgins, proprietor of the latter, sauntered easily across
+to receive, in his official capacity as postmaster, the mail bag. Ten or
+more citizens, of both sexes, and of various ages, gathered in groups to
+inspect and supervise.
+
+The locomotive pulled its string of cars, a "baggage," a "smoker,"
+and two "passengers," alongside the platform. The sliding door of the
+baggage car was pushed back and the baggage master appeared in the
+opening. "Hi! Cap'n!" he shouted. "Hi, Cap'n Sol! Here's some express
+for you."
+
+But unfortunately the Captain was in conversation with the conductor at
+the other end of the train. Issy, willing and officious, sprang forward.
+"I'll take it, Bill," he volunteered. "Here, give it to me."
+
+The baggage master handed down the package, a good sized one marked
+"Glass. With Care." Issy received it, clutched it to his bosom, turned
+and saw Gertie Higgins, pretty daughter of Beriah Higgins, stepping from
+the first car to the platform. Gertie had been staying with an aunt in
+Trumet and was now returning home for a day or two.
+
+Issy stopped short and gazed at her. He saw her meet and kiss her
+father, and the sight roused turbulent emotions in his bosom. He saw her
+nod and smile at acquaintances whom she passed. She approached, noticed
+him, and--oh, rapture!--said laughingly, "Hello, Is." Before he could
+recover his senses and remember to do more than grin she had disappeared
+around the corner of the station. Therefore he did not see the young man
+who stepped forward to shake her hand and whisper in her ear. This young
+man was Sam Bartlett, and, as a "city dude," Issy loathed and hated him.
+
+No, Issy did not see the hurried and brief meeting between Bartlett and
+Gertie Higgins, but he had seen enough to cause forgetfulness of mundane
+things. For an instant he stared after the vanished vision. Then he
+stepped blindly forward, tripped over something--"his off hind leg," so
+Captain Sol afterwards vowed--and fell sprawling, the express package
+beneath him.
+
+The crash of glass reached the ears of the depot master. He broke away
+from the conductor and ran toward his prostrate "assistant." Pushing
+aside the delighted and uproarious bystanders, he forcibly helped the
+young man to rise.
+
+"What in time?" he demanded.
+
+Issy agonizingly held the package to his ear and shook it.
+
+"I--I'm afraid somethin's cracked," he faltered.
+
+The crowd set up a whoop. Ed Crocker appeared to be in danger of
+strangling.
+
+"Cracked!" repeated Captain Sol. "Cracked!" he smiled, in spite of
+himself. "Yes, somethin's cracked. It's that head of yours, Issy. Here,
+let's see!"
+
+He snatched the package from the McKay hands and inspected it.
+
+"Smashed to thunder!" he declared. "Who's the lucky one it belongs to?
+Humph!" He read the inscription aloud, "Major Cuthbertson S. Hardee. The
+Major, hey! . . . Well, Is, you take the remains inside and you and I'll
+hold services over it later."
+
+"I--I didn't go to do it," protested the frightened Issy.
+
+"Course you didn't. If you had you wouldn't. You're like the feller
+in Scriptur', you leave undone the things you ought to do and do them
+that--All right, Jim! Let her go! Cast off!"
+
+The conductor waved his hand, the engine puffed, the bell rang, and
+the train moved onward. For another twelve hours East Harniss was left
+marooned by the outside world.
+
+Beriah Higgins and the mail bag were already in the post office. Thither
+went the crowd to await the sorting and ultimate distribution. A short,
+fat little man lingered and, walking up to the depot master, extended
+his hand.
+
+"Hello, Sol!" he said, smiling. "Thought I'd stop long enough to say
+'Howdy,' anyhow."
+
+"Why, Bailey Stitt!" cried the Captain. "How are you? Glad to see you.
+Thought you was down to South Orham, takin' out seasick parties for the
+Ocean House, same kind of a job I used to have in Wellmouth."
+
+"I am," replied Captain Stitt. "That is, I was. Just now I've run over
+here to see about contractin' for a supply of clams and quahaugs for our
+boarders. You never see such a gang to eat as them summer folks, in your
+life. Barzilla Wingate, he says the same about his crowd. He's comin' on
+the mornin' train from Wellmouth."
+
+"You don't tell me. I ain't seen Barzilla for a long spell. Where you
+stoppin'? Come up to the house, won't you?"
+
+"Can't. I'm goin' to put up over to Obed Gott's. His sister, Polena
+Ginn, is a relation of mine by marriage. So long! Obed's gone on ahead
+to tell Polena to put the kettle on. Maybe Obed and I'll be back again
+after I've had supper."
+
+"Do. I'll be round here for two or three hours yet."
+
+He entered the depot. Except the forlorn Issy, who sat in a corner,
+holding the express package in his lap, Simeon Phinney was the only
+person in the waiting room.
+
+"Come on now, Sol!" pleaded Sim. "I want to hear the rest of that about
+you and Williams. You left off in the most ticklish place possible,
+out of spite, I do believe. I'm hangin' on to that boat in the breakers
+until I declare I believe I'm catchin' cold just from imagination."
+
+"Wait a minute, Sim," said the depot master. Then he turned to his
+assistant.
+
+"Issy," he said, "this is about the nineteenth time you've done just
+this sort of thing. You're no earthly use and I ought to give you your
+clearance papers. But I can't, you're too--well--ornamental. You've
+got to be punished somehow and I guess the best way will be to send you
+right up to Major Hardee's and let you give him the remnants. He'll
+want to know how it happened, and you tell him the truth. The TRUTH,
+understand? If you invent any fairy tales out of those novels of yours
+I'll know it by and by and--well, YOU'LL know I know. No remarks,
+please. Git!"
+
+Issy hesitated, seemed about to speak, thought better of it, took up
+package and cap, and "got."
+
+"Let's see," said the Captain, sitting down in one of the station chairs
+and lighting a fresh cigar; "where was Williams and I in that yarn of
+mine? Oh, yes, I could see land and cal'lated we was goin' to bump.
+Well, we did. Steerin' anyways but dead ahead was out of the question,
+and all I could do was set my teeth and trust in my bein' a member
+of the church. The Shootin' Star hit that beach like she was the real
+article. Overboard went oar and canvas and grub pails, and everything
+else that wa'n't nailed down, includin' Fatty and me. I grabbed him by
+the collar and wallowed ashore.
+
+"'Awk! hawk!' he gasps, chokin', 'I'm drownded.'
+
+"I let him BE drownded, for the minute. I had the launch to think of,
+and somehow or 'nother I got hold of her rodin' and hauled the anchor up
+above tide mark. Then I attended to my passenger.
+
+"'Where are we?' he asks.
+
+"I looked around. Close by was nothin' but beach-grass and seaweed and
+sand. A little ways off was a clump of scrub pines and bayberry bushes
+that looked sort of familiar. And back of them was a little board shanty
+that looked more familiar still. I rubbed the salt out of my eyes.
+
+"'WELL!' says I. 'I swan to man!'
+
+"'What is it?' he says. 'Do you know where we are? Whose house is that?'
+
+"I looked hard at the shanty.
+
+"'Humph!' I grunted. 'I do declare! Talk about a feller's comin' back to
+his own. Whose shanty is that? Well, it's mine, if you want to know.
+The power that looks out for the lame and the lazy has hove us ashore on
+Woodchuck Island, and that's a piece of real estate I own.'
+
+"It sounds crazy enough, that's a fact; but it was true. Woodchuck
+Island is a little mite of a sand heap off in the bay, two mile from
+shore and ten from the nighest town. I'd bought it and put up a shanty
+for a gunnin' shack; took city gunners down there, once in a while,
+the fall before. That summer I'd leased it to a friend of mine, name of
+Darius Baker, who used it while he was lobsterin'. The gale had driven
+us straight in from sea, 'way past Sandy P'int and on to the island.
+'Twas like hittin' a nail head in a board fence, but we'd done it. Shows
+what Providence can do when it sets out.
+
+"I explained some of this to Williams as we waded through the sand to
+the shanty.
+
+"'But is this Baker chap here now?' he asks.
+
+"'I'm afraid not,' says I. 'The lobster season's about over, and he was
+goin' South on a yacht this week. Still, he wa'n't to go till Saturday
+and perhaps--'
+
+"But the shanty was empty when we got there. I fumbled around in the tin
+matchbox and lit the kerosene lamp in the bracket on the wall. Then I
+turned to Williams.
+
+"'Well,' says I, 'we're lucky for once in--'
+
+"Then I stopped. When he went overboard the water had washed off
+his hat. Likewise it had washed off his long black hair--which was a
+wig--and his head was all round and shiny and bald, like a gull's egg
+out in a rain storm."
+
+"I knew he wore a wig," interrupted Phinney.
+
+"Of course you do. Everybody does now. But he wa'n't such a prophet in
+Israel then as he's come to be since, and folks wa'n't acquainted with
+his personal beauties.
+
+"'What are you starin' at?' he asks.
+
+"I fetched a long breath. 'Nothin',' says I. 'Nothin'.'
+
+"But for the rest of that next ha'f hour I went around in a kind of
+daze, as if MY wig had gone and part of my head with it. When a feller
+has been doin' a puzzle it kind of satisfies him to find out the answer.
+And I'd done my puzzle.
+
+"I knew where I'd met Mr. Williams afore."
+
+"You did?" cried Simeon.
+
+"Um-hm. Wait a while. Well, Fatty went to bed, in one of the hay bunks,
+pretty soon after that. He stripped to his underclothes and turned in
+under the patchwork comforters. He was too beat out to want any supper,
+even if there'd been any in sight. I built a fire in the rusty cook
+stove and dried his duds and mine. Then I set down in the busted chair
+and begun to think. After a spell I got up and took account of stock, as
+you might say, of the eatables in the shanty. Darius had carted off his
+own grub and what there was on hand was mine, left over from the gunnin'
+season--a hunk of salt pork in the pickle tub, some corn meal in a tin
+pail, some musty white flour in another pail, a little coffee, a little
+sugar and salt, and a can of condensed milk. I took these things out of
+the locker they was in, looked 'em over, put 'em back again and sprung
+the padlock. Then I put the key into my pocket and went back to my chair
+to do some more thinkin'.
+
+"Next mornin' I was up early and when the banker turned out I was fryin'
+a couple of slices of the pork and had some coffee b'ilin'. Likewise
+there was a pan of johnnycake in the oven. The wind had gone down
+consider'ble, but 'twas foggy and thick again, which was a pleasin'
+state of things for yours truly.
+
+"Williams smelt the cookin' almost afore he got his eyes open.
+
+"'Hurry up with that breakfast,' he says to me. 'I'm hungry as a wolf.'
+
+"I didn't say nothin' then; just went ahead with my cookin'. He got into
+his clothes and went outdoor. Pretty soon he comes back, cussin' the
+weather.
+
+"'See here, Mr. Williams,' says I, 'how about them orders to your
+housekeeper? Are they straight? Won't she have you hunted up for a
+week?'
+
+"He colored pretty red, but from what he said I made out that she
+wouldn't. I gathered that him and the old lady wa'n't real chummy. She
+give him his grub and her services, and he give her the Old Harry and
+her wages. She wouldn't hunt for him, not until she was ordered to.
+She'd be only too glad to have him out of the way.
+
+"'Humph!' says I. 'Then I cal'late we'll enjoy the scenery on this
+garden spot of creation until the week's up.'
+
+"'What do you mean?' says he.
+
+"'Well,' I says, 'the launch is out of commission, unless it should
+rain gasoline, and at this time of year there ain't likely to be a boat
+within hailin' distance of this island; 'specially if the weather holds
+bad.'
+
+"He swore a blue streak, payin' partic'lar attention to the housekeeper
+for her general stupidness and to me because I'd got him, so he said,
+into this scrape. I didn't say nothin'; set the table, with one plate
+and one cup and sasser and knife and fork, hauled up a chair and set
+down to my breakfast. He hauled up a box and set down, too.
+
+"'Pass me that corn bread,' says he. 'And why didn't you fry more pork?'
+
+"He was reachin' out for the johnnycake, but I pulled it out of his way.
+
+"'Wait a minute, Mr. Williams,' says I. 'While you was snoozin' last
+night I made out a kind of manifest of the vittles aboard this shanty.
+'Cordin' to my figgerin' here's scursely enough to last one husky man
+a week, let along two husky ones. I paid consider'ble attention to your
+preachin' yesterday and the text seemed to be to look out for number
+one. Now in this case I'm the one and I've got to look out for myself.
+This is my shanty, my island, and my grub. So please keep your hands off
+that johnnycake.'
+
+"For a minute or so he set still and stared at me. Didn't seem to sense
+the situation, as you might say. Then the red biled up in his face and
+over his bald head like a Fundy tide.
+
+"'Why, you dummed villain!' he shouts. 'Do you mean to starve me?'
+
+"'You won't starve in a week,' says I, helpin' myself to pork. 'A feller
+named Tanner, that I read about years ago, lived for forty days on cold
+water and nothin' else. There's the pump right over in the corner. It's
+my pump, but I'll stretch a p'int and not charge for it this time.'
+
+"'You--you--' he stammers, shakin' all over, he was so mad. 'Didn't I
+hire you--'
+
+"'You hired me to take you out to the fishin' grounds and back, provided
+the launch was made ready by YOU. It wa'n't ready, so THAT contract's
+busted. And you was to furnish your extrys and I was to furnish mine.
+Here they be and I need 'em. It's as legitimate a deal as ever I see;
+perfect case of supply and demand--supply for one and demand for two. As
+I said afore, I'm the one.'
+
+"'By thunder!' he growls, standin' up, 'I'll show you--'
+
+"I stood up, too. He was fat and flabby and I was thin and wiry. We
+looked each other over.
+
+"'I wouldn't,' says I. 'You're under the doctor's care, you know.'
+
+"So he set down again, not havin' strength even to swear, and watched me
+eat my breakfast. And I ate it slow.
+
+"'Say,' he says, finally, 'you think you're mighty smart, don't you.
+Well, I'm It, I guess, for this time. I suppose you'll have no objection
+to SELLIN' me a breakfast?'
+
+"'No--o,' says I, 'not a mite of objection. I'll sell you a couple of
+slices of pork for five dollars a slice and--'
+
+"'FIVE DOLLARS a--!' His mouth dropped open like a main hatch.
+
+"'Sartin,' I says. 'And two slabs of johnnycake at five dollars a slab.
+And a cup of coffee at five dollars a cup. And--'
+
+"'You're crazy!' he sputters, jumpin' up.
+
+"'Not much, I ain't. I've been settin' at your feet larnin' high
+finance, that's all. You don't seem to be onto the real inwardness of
+this deal. I've got the grub market cornered, that's all. The market
+price of necessaries is five dollars each now; it's likely to rise at
+any time, but now it's five.'
+
+"He looked at me steady for at least two more minutes. Then he got up
+and banged out of that shanty. A little later I see him down at the end
+of the sand spit starin' out into the fog; lookin' for a sail, I presume
+likely.
+
+"I finished my breakfast and washed up the dishes. He come in by and by.
+He hadn't had no dinner nor supper, you see, and the salt air gives most
+folks an almighty appetite.
+
+"'Say,' he says, 'I've been thinkin'. It's usual in the stock and
+provision market to deal on a margin. Suppose I pay you a one per cent
+margin now and--'
+
+"'All right,' says I, cheerful. 'Then I'll give you a slip of paper
+sayin' that you've bought such and such slices of pork and hunks of
+johnnycake and I'm carryin' 'em for you on a margin. Of course there
+ain't no delivery of the goods now because--'
+
+"'Humph!' he interrupts, sour. 'You seem to know more'n I thought you
+did. Now are you goin' to be decent and make me a fair price or ain't
+you?'
+
+"'Can't sell under the latest quotations,' says I. 'That's five now; and
+spot cash.'
+
+"'But hang it all!' he says, 'I haven't got money enough with me. Think
+I carry a national bank around in my clothes?'
+
+"'You carry a Wellmouth Bank check book,' says I, 'because I see it in
+your jacket pocket last night when I was dryin' your duds. I'll take a
+check.'
+
+"He started to say somethin' and then stopped. After a spell he seemed
+to give in all to once.
+
+"'Very good,' he says. 'You get my breakfast ready and I'll make out the
+check.'
+
+"That breakfast cost him twenty-five dollars; thirty really, because he
+added another five for an extry cup of coffee. I told him to make the
+check payable to 'Bearer,' as 'twas quicker to write than 'Solomon.'
+
+"He had two more meals that day and at bedtime I had his checks
+amountin' to ninety-five dollars. The fog stayed with us all the time
+and nobody come to pick us up. And the next mornin's outlook was just as
+bad, bein' a drizzlin' rain and a high wind. The mainland beach was in
+sight but that's all except salt water and rain.
+
+"He was surprisin'ly cheerful all that day, eatin' like a horse
+and givin' up his meal checks without a whimper. If things had been
+different from what they was I'd have felt like a mean sneak thief.
+BEIN' as they was, I counted up the hundred and ten I'd made that day
+without a pinch of conscience.
+
+"This was a Wednesday. On Thursday, the third day of our Robinson
+Crusoe business, the weather was still thick, though there was signs of
+clearin'. Fatty come to me after breakfast--which cost him thirty-five,
+payable, as usual, to 'Bearer'--with almost a grin on his big face.
+
+"'Berry,' he says, 'I owe you an apology. I thought you was a green
+Rube, like the rest down here, but you're as sharp as they make 'em. I
+ain't the man to squeal when I get let in on a bad deal, and the chap
+who can work me for a sucker is entitled to all he can make. But this
+pay-as-you-go business is too slow and troublesome. What'll you take for
+the rest of the grub in the locker there, spot cash? Be white, and make
+a fair price.'
+
+"I'd been expectin' somethin' like this, and I was ready for him.
+
+"'Two hundred and sixty-five dollars,' says I, prompt.
+
+"He done a little figgerin'. 'Well, allowin' that I have to put up on
+this heap of desolation for the better part of four days more, that's
+cheap, accordin' to your former rates,' he says. 'I'll go you. But why
+not make it two fifty, even?'
+
+"'Two hundred and sixty-five's my price,' says I. So he handed over
+another 'Bearer' check, and his board bill was paid for a week.
+
+"Friday was a fine day, clear as a bell. Me and Williams had a real
+picnicky, sociable time. Livin' outdoor this way had made him forget his
+diseases and the doctor, and he showed signs of bein' ha'fway decent. We
+loafed around and talked and dug clams to help out the pork--that is, I
+dug 'em and Fatty superintended. We see no less'n three sailin' craft
+go by down the bay and tried our best to signal 'em, but they didn't pay
+attention--thought we was gunners or somethin', I presume likely.
+
+"At breakfast on Saturday, Williams begun to ask questions again.
+
+"'Sol,' says he, 'it surprised me to find that you knew what a "margin"
+was. You didn't get that from anything I said. Where did you get it?'
+
+"I leaned back on my box seat.
+
+"'Mr. Williams,' says I, 'I cal'late I'll tell you a little story, if
+you want to hear it. 'Tain't much of a yarn, as yarns go, but maybe
+it'll interest you. The start of it goes back to consider'ble many year
+ago, when I was poorer'n I be now, and a mighty sight younger. At that
+time me and another feller, a partner of mine, had a fish weir out in
+the bay here. The mackerel struck in and we done well, unusual well.
+At the end of the season, not countin' what we'd spent for livin' and
+expenses, we had a balance owin' us at our fish dealer's up to Boston
+of five hundred dollars--two fifty apiece. My partner was goin' to
+be married in the spring and was cal'latin' to use his share to buy
+furniture for the new house with. So we decided we'd take a trip up
+to Boston and collect the money, stick it into some savin's bank where
+'twould draw interest until spring and then haul it out and use it.
+'Twas about every cent we had in the world.
+
+"'So to Boston we went, collected our money, got the address of a safe
+bank and started out to find it. But on the way my partner's hat blowed
+off and the bank address, which was on a slip of paper inside of it, got
+lost. So we see a sign on a buildin', along with a lot of others, that
+kind of suggested bankin', and so we stepped into the buildin' and went
+upstairs to ask the way again.
+
+"'The place wa'n't very big, but 'twas fixed up fancy and there was a
+kind of blackboard along the end of the room where a boy was markin' up
+figgers in chalk. A nice, smilin' lookin' man met us and, when we told
+him what we wanted, he asked us to set down. Then, afore we knowed it
+almost, we'd told him the whole story--about the five hundred and all.
+The feller said to hold on a spell and he'd go along with us and show us
+where the savin's bank was himself.
+
+"'So we waited and all the time the figgers kept goin' up on the board,
+under signs of "Pork" and "Wheat" and "Cotton" and such, and we'd hear
+how so and so's account was makin' a thousand a day, and the like of
+that. After a while the nice man, who it turned out was one of the
+bosses of the concern, told us what it meant. Seemed there was a big
+"rise" in the market and them that bought now was bound to get rich
+quick. Consequent we said we wished we could buy and get rich, too. And
+the smilin' chap says, "Let's go have some lunch."'
+
+"Williams laughed. 'Ho, ho!' says he. 'Expensive lunch, was it?'
+
+"'Most extravagant meal of vittles ever I got away with,' I says. 'Cost
+me and my partner two hundred and fifty apiece, that lunch did. We
+stayed in Boston two days, and on the afternoon of the second day we
+was on our way back totin' a couple of neat but expensive slips of paper
+signifyin' that we'd bought December and May wheat on a one per cent
+margin. We was a hundred ahead already, 'cordin' to the blackboard, and
+was figgerin' what sort of palaces we'd build when we cashed in.'
+
+"'Ain't no use preachin' a long sermon over the remains. 'Twas a simple
+funeral and nobody sent flowers. Inside of a month we was cleaned
+out and the wheat place had gone out of business--failed, busted, you
+understand. Our fish dealer friend asked some questions, and found out
+the shebang wa'n't a real stock dealer's at all. 'Twas what they call
+a "bucket shop," and we'd bought nothin' but air, and paid a commission
+for buyin' it. And the smilin', nice man that run the swindle had been
+hangin' on the edge of bust for a long while and knowed 'twas comin'.
+Our five hundred had helped pay his way to a healthier climate, that's
+all.'
+
+"'Hold on a minute,' says Fatty, lookin' more interested. 'What was the
+name of the firm that took you greenhorns in?'
+
+"''Twas the Empire Bond, Stock and Grain Exchange,' says I. 'And 'twas
+on Derbyshire Street.'
+
+"He give a little jump. Then he says, slow, Hu-u-m! I--see.'
+
+"'Yes,' says I. 'I thought you would. You had a mustache then and your
+name was diff'rent, but you seemed familiar just the same. When your
+false hair got washed off I knew you right away.'
+
+"He took out his pocket pen and his check book and done a little
+figgerin'.
+
+"'Humph!' he says, again. 'You lost five hundred and I've paid you five
+hundred and five. What's the five for?'
+
+"'That's my commission on the sales,' I says.
+
+"And just then comes a hail from outside the shanty. Out we bolted
+and there was Sam Davis, just steppin' ashore from his power boat.
+Williams's housekeeper had strained a p'int and had shaded her orders by
+a couple of days.
+
+"Williams and Sam started for home right off. I followed in the Shootin'
+Star, havin' borrered gasoline enough for the run. I reached the dock
+ha'f an hour after they did, and there was Fatty waitin' for me.
+
+"'Berry,' says he, 'I've got a word or two to say to you. I ain't
+kickin' at your givin' me tit for tat, or tryin' to. Turn about's fair
+play, if you can call the turn. But it's against my principles to allow
+anybody to beat me on a business deal. Do you suppose,' he says, 'that
+I'd have paid your robber's prices without a word if I hadn't had
+somethin' up my sleeve? Why, man,' says he, 'I gave you my CHECKS, not
+cash. And I've just telephoned to the Wellmouth Bank to stop payment
+on those checks. They're no earthly use to you; see? There's one or two
+things about high finance that you don't know even yet. Ho, ho!'
+
+"And he rocked back and forth on his heels and laughed.
+
+"I held up my hand. 'Wait a jiffy, Mr. Williams,' says I. 'I guess these
+checks are all right. When we fust landed on Woodchuck, I judged by the
+looks of the shanty that Baker hadn't left it for good. I cal'lated
+he'd be back. And sure enough he come back, in his catboat, on Thursday
+evenin', after you'd turned in. Them checks was payable to "Bearer,"
+you remember, so I give 'em to him. He was to cash 'em in the fust thing
+Friday mornin', and I guess you'll find he's done it.'"
+
+"Well, I swan to MAN!" interrupted the astonished and delighted Phinney.
+"So you had him after all! And I was scart you'd lost every cent."
+
+Captain Sol chuckled. "Yes," he went on, "I had him, and his eyes and
+mouth opened together.
+
+"'WHAT?' he bellers. 'Do you mean to say that a boat stopped at that
+dummed island and DIDN'T TAKE US OFF?'
+
+"'Oh,' says I, 'Darius didn't feel called on to take you off, not after
+I told him who you was. You see, Mr. Williams,' I says, 'Darius Baker
+was my partner in that wheat speculation I was tellin' you about.'"
+
+The Captain drew a long breath and re-lit his cigar, which had gone out.
+His friend pounded the settee ecstatically.
+
+"There!" he cried. "I knew the name 'Darius Baker' wa'n't so strange to
+me. When was you and him in partners, Sol?"
+
+"Oh, 'way back in the old days, afore I went to sea at all, and afore
+mother died. You wouldn't remember much about it. Mother and I was
+livin' in Trumet then and our house here was shut up. I was only a kid,
+or not much more, and Williams was young, too."
+
+"And that's the way he made his money! HIM! Why, he's the most respected
+man in this neighborhood, and goes to church, and--"
+
+"Yes. Well, if you make money ENOUGH you can always be respected--by
+some kinds of people--and find some church that'll take you in. Ain't
+that so, Bailey?"
+
+Captain Stitt and his cousin, Obed Gott, the paint dealer, were standing
+in the doorway of the station. They now entered.
+
+"I guess it's so," replied Stitt, pulling up a chair, "though I don't
+know what you was talkin' about. However, it's a pretty average safe bet
+that what you say is so, Sol, 'most any time. What's the special 'so,'
+this time?"
+
+"We was talkin' about Mr. Williams," began Phinney.
+
+"The Grand Panjandrum of East Harniss," broke in the depot master. "East
+Harniss is blessed with a great man, Bailey, and, like consider'ble many
+blessin's he ain't entirely unmixed."
+
+Obed and Simeon looked puzzled, but Captain Stitt bounced in his chair
+like a good-natured rubber ball. "Ho! ho!" he chuckled, "you don't
+surprise me, Sol. We had a great man over to South Orham three years ago
+and he begun by blessin's and ended with--with t'other thing. Ho! ho!"
+
+"What do you mean?" demanded Sim.
+
+"Why, I mean Stingy Gabe. You've heard of Stingy Gabe, ain't you?"
+
+"I guess we've all heard somethin' about him," laughed Captain Sol; "but
+we're willin' to hear more. He was a reformer, wa'n't he?"
+
+"He sartin was! Ho! ho!"
+
+"For the land sakes, tell it, Bailey," demanded Mr. Gott impatiently.
+"Don't sit there bouncin' and gurglin' and gettin' purple in the face.
+Tell it, or you'll bust tryin' to keep it in."
+
+"Oh, it's a great, long--" began Captain Bailey protestingly.
+
+"Go on," urged Phinney. "We've got more time than anything else, the
+most of us. Who was this Stingy Gabe?"
+
+"Yes," urged Gott, "and what did he reform?"
+
+Captain Stitt held up a compelling hand. "It's all of a piece," he
+interrupted. "It takes in everything, like an eatin'-house stew. And,
+as usual in them cases, the feller that ordered it didn't know what was
+comin' to him.
+
+"Stingy Gabe was that feller. His Sunday name was Gabriel Atkinson
+Holway, and his dad used to peddle fish from Orham to Denboro and back.
+The old man was christened Gabriel, likewise. He owed 'most everybody,
+and, besides, was so mean that he kept the scales and trimmin's of the
+fish he sold to make chowder for himself and family. All hands called
+him 'Stingy Gabe,' and the boy inherited the name along with the
+fifteen hundred dollars that the old man left when he died. He cleared
+out--young Gabe did--soon as the will was settled and afore the
+outstandin' debts was, and nobody in this latitude see hide nor hair of
+him till three years ago this comin' spring.
+
+"Then, lo and behold you! he drops off the parlor car at the Orham
+station and cruises down to South Orham, bald-headed and bay-windowed,
+sufferin' from pomp and prosperity. Seems he'd been spendin' his life
+cornerin' copper out West and then copperin' the corners in Wall Street.
+The folks in his State couldn't put him in jail, so they sent him to
+Congress. Now, as the Honorable Atkinson Holway, he'd come back to the
+Cape to rest his wrist, which had writer's cramp from signin' stock
+certificates, and to ease his eyes with a sight of the dear old home of
+his boyhood.
+
+"Bill Nickerson comes postin' down to me with the news.
+
+"'Bailey,' says he, 'what do you think's happened? Stingy Gabe's struck
+the town.'
+
+"'For how much?' I asks, anxious. 'Don't let him have it, whatever
+'tis.'
+
+"Then he went on to explain. Gabe was rich as all get out, and 'twas
+his intention to buy back his old man's house and fix it up for a summer
+home. He was delighted to find how little change there was in South
+Orham.
+
+"'No matter if 'tain't but fifteen cents he'll get it, if the s'lectmen
+don't watch him,' I says; and the bills, too. I know HIS tribe.'
+
+"'You don't understand,' says Nickerson. 'He ain't no thief. He's rich,
+I tell you, and he's cal'latin' to do the town good.'
+
+"'Course he is,' I says. 'It runs in the family. His dad done it good,
+too--good as 'twas ever done, I guess.'
+
+"But next day Gabe himself happens along, and I see right off that I'd
+made a mistake in my reckonin'. The Honorable Atkinson Holway wa'n't
+figgerin' to borrow nothin'. When a chap has been skinnin' halibut,
+minnows are too small for him to bother with. Gabe was full of fried
+clams and philanthropy.
+
+"'By Jove! Stitt,' he says, 'livin' here has been the dream of my life.'
+
+"'You'll be glad to wake up, won't you?' says I. 'I wish I could.'
+
+"'I tell you,' he says, 'this little old village is all right! All it
+needs is a public-spirited resident to help it along. I propose to be
+the P. S. R.'
+
+"And on that program he started right in. Fust off he bought his dad's
+old place, built it over into the eight-sided palace that's there now,
+fetched down a small army of servants skippered by an old housekeeper,
+and commenced to live simple but complicated. Then, havin' provided
+the needful charity for himself, he's ready to scatter manna for the
+starvin' native.
+
+"He had a dozen schemes laid out. One was to build a free but expensive
+library; another was to pave the main road with brick; third was to give
+stained-glass windows and velvet cushions to the meetin' house, so's
+the congregation could sleep comfortable in a subdued light. The
+stained-glass idee put him in close touch with the minister, Reverend
+Edwin Fisher, and the minister suggested the men's club. And he took to
+that men's club scheme like an old maid to strong tea; the rest of the
+improvements went into dry dock to refit while Admiral Gabe got his
+men's club off the ways.
+
+"'Twas the billiard room that made the minister hanker for a men's club.
+That billiard room was the worry of his life. Old man Jotham Gale run
+it and had run it sence the Concord fight, in a way of speakin'. You
+remember his sign, maybe: 'Jotham W. Gale. Billiard, Pool, and Sipio
+Saloon. Cigars and Tobacco. Tonics and Pipes. Minors under Ten Years of
+Age not Admitted.' Jotham's customers was called, by the outsiders, 'the
+billiard-room gang.'
+
+"The billiard room gang wa'n't the best folks in town, I'll own right up
+to that. Still, they wa'n't so turrible wicked. Jotham never sold rum,
+and he'd never allow no rows in his place. But, just the same, his
+saloon was reckoned a bad influence. Young men hadn't ought to go
+there--most of us said that. If there was a nicer place TO go, argues
+the minister, 'twould help the moral tone of the community consider'ble.
+'Why not,' says he to Stingy Gabe, 'start a free club for men that'll
+make the billiard room look like the tail boat in a race?' And says
+Gabe: 'Bully! I'll do it.'"
+
+Captain Stitt paused long enough to enjoy a chuckle all by himself.
+Before he had quite finished his laugh, slow and reluctant steps were
+heard on the back platform and Issy appeared on the threshold. He was
+without the package, but did not look happy.
+
+"Well, Is," inquired the depot master, "did you give the remains to the
+Major?"
+
+"Yes, sir," answered Issy.
+
+"Did you tell him how the shockin' fatality happened? How the thing got
+broken?"
+
+"Yes, sir, I told him."
+
+"What did he say? Didn't let his angry passions rise, did he?"
+
+"No-o; no, sir, he didn't rise nothin'. He didn't get mad neither. But
+you could see he felt pretty bad. Talked about 'old family glass' and
+'priceless airloons' or some such. Said much as he regretted to, he
+should feel it no more'n justice to have somebody pay damages."
+
+"Humph!" Captain Sol looked very grave. "Issy, I can see your finish.
+You'll have to pay for somethin' that's priceless, and how are you goin'
+to do that? 'Old family glass,' hey? Hum! And I thought I saw the label
+of a Boston store on that package."
+
+Obed Gott leaned forward eagerly.
+
+"Is that Major Hardee you're talkin' about?" he asked.
+
+"Yes, sir. He's the only Major we've got. Cap'ns are plenty as June
+bugs, but Majors and Gen'rals are scarce. Why?"
+
+"Oh, nothin'. Only--" Mr. Gott muttered the remainder of the sentence
+under his breath. However, the depot master heard it and his eye
+twinkled.
+
+"You're glad of it!" he exclaimed. "Why, Obed! Major Cuthbertson Scott
+Hardee! I'm surprised. Better not let the women folks hear you say
+that."
+
+"Look here!" cried Captain Stitt, rather tartly, "am I goin' to finish
+that yarn of mine or don't you want to hear it?"
+
+"BEG your pardon, Bailey. Go on. The last thing you said was what Stingy
+Gabe said, and that was--"
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER III
+
+"STINGY GABE"
+
+
+"And that," said Captain Bailey, mollified by the renewed interest of
+his listeners, "was, 'Bully! I'll do it!'
+
+"So he calls a meetin' of everybody interested, at his new house. About
+every respectable man in town was there, includin' me. Most of the
+billiard-room gang was there, likewise. Jotham, of course, wa'n't
+invited.
+
+"Gabe calls the meetin' to order and the minister makes a speech tellin'
+about the scheme. 'Our generous and public-spirited citizen, Honorable
+Atkinson Holway,' had offered to build a suitable clubhouse, fix it up,
+and donate it to the club, them and their heirs forever, Amen. 'Twas to
+belong to the members to do what they pleased with--no strings tied to
+it at all. Dues would be merely nominal, a dollar a year or some such
+matter. Now, who favored such a club as that?
+
+"Well, 'most everybody did. Daniel Bassett, chronic politician, justice
+of the peace, and head of the 'Conservatives' at town meetin', he made
+a talk, and in comes him and his crew. Gaius Ellis, another chronic, who
+is postmaster and skipper of the 'Progressives,' had been fidgetin'
+in his seat, and now up he bobs and says he's for it; then every
+'Progressive' jines immediate. But the billiard-roomers; they didn't
+jine. They looked sort of sheepish, and set still. When Mr. Fisher begun
+to hint p'inted in their direction, they got up and slid outdoor. And
+right then I'd ought to have smelt trouble, but I didn't; had a cold in
+my head, I guess likely.
+
+"Next thing was to build the new clubhouse, and Gabe went at it hammer
+and tongs. He had a big passel of carpenters down from the city, and
+inside of three months the buildin' was up, and she was a daisy, now I
+tell you. There was a readin' room and a meetin' room and an 'amusement
+room.' The amusements was crokinole and parchesi and checkers and the
+like of that. Also there was a gymnasium and a place where you could
+play the pianner and sing--till the sufferin' got acute and somebody
+come along and abated you.
+
+"When I fust went inside that clubhouse I see 'twas bound to be
+'Good-by, Bill,' for Jotham. His customers would shake his ratty old
+shanty for sartin, soon's they see them elegant new rooms. I swan, if I
+didn't feel sorry for the old reprobate, and, thinks I, I'll drop around
+and sympathize a little. Sympathy don't cost nothin', and Jotham's
+pretty good company.
+
+"I found him settin' alongside the peanut roaster, watchin' a couple of
+patients cruelize the pool table.
+
+"'Hello, Bailey!' says he. 'You surprise me. Ain't you 'fraid of
+catchin' somethin' in this ha'nt of sin? Have a chair, anyhow. And a
+cigar, won't you?'
+
+"I took the chair, but I steered off from the cigar, havin' had
+experience. Told him I guessed I'd use my pipe. He chuckled.
+
+"'Fur be it from me to find fault with your judgment,' he says.
+'Terbacker does smoke better'n anything else, don't it.'
+
+"We set there and puffed for five minutes or so. Then he sort of jumped.
+
+"'What's up?' says I.
+
+"'Oh, nothin'!' he says. 'Bije Simmons got a ball in the pocket, that's
+all. Don't do that too often, Bije; I got a weak heart. Well, Bailey,'
+he adds, turnin' to me, 'Gabe's club's fixed up pretty fine, ain't it?'
+
+"'Why, yes,' I says; ''tis.'
+
+"'Finest ever I see,' says he. 'I told him so when I was in there.'
+
+"'What?' says I. 'You don't mean to say YOU'VE been in that clubroom?'
+
+"'Sartin. Why not? I want to take in all the shows there is--'specially
+the free ones. Make a good billiard room, that clubhouse would.'
+
+"I whistled. 'Whew!' says I. 'Didn't tell Gabe THAT, did you?'
+
+"He nodded. 'Yup,' says he. 'I told him.'
+
+"I whistled again. 'What answer did he make?' I asked.
+
+"'Oh, he wa'n't enthusiastic. Seemed to cal'late I'd better shut up my
+head and my shop along with it, afore he knocked off one and his club
+knocked out t'other.'
+
+"I pitied the old rascal; I couldn't help it.
+
+"'Jotham,' says I, 'I ain't the wust friend you've got in South Orham,
+even if I don't play pool much. If I was you I'd clear out of here and
+start somewheres else. You can't fight all the best folks in town.'
+
+"He didn't make no answer. Just kept on a-puffin'. I got up to go. Then
+he laid his hand on my sleeve.
+
+"'Bailey,' says he, 'when Betsy Mayo was ailin', her sister's tribe was
+all for the Faith Cure and her husband's relations was high for patent
+medicine. When the Faith Curists got to workin', in would come some of
+the patent mediciners and give 'em the bounce. And when THEY went home
+for the night, the Faithers would smash all the bottles. Finally they
+got so busy fightin' 'mong themselves that Betsy see she was gettin' no
+better fast, and sent for the reg'lar doctor. HE done the curin', and
+got the pay.'
+
+"'Well,' says I, 'what of it?'
+
+"'Nothin',' says he. 'Only I've been practisin' a considerable spell. So
+long. Come in again some time when it's dark and the respectable element
+can't see you.'
+
+"I went away thinkin' hard. And next mornin' I hunted up Gabe, and says
+I:
+
+"'Mr. Holway,' I says, 'what puzzles me is how you're goin' to elect the
+officers for the new club. Put up a Conservative and the Progressives
+resign. H'ist the Progressive ensign and the Conservatives'll mutiny. As
+for the billiard-roomers--providin' any jine--they've never been known
+to vote for anybody but themselves. I can't see no light yet--nothin'
+but fog.'
+
+"He winks, sly and profound. 'That's all right,' says he. 'Fisher and I
+have planned that. You watch!'
+
+"Sure enough, they had. The minister was mighty popular, so, when 'twas
+out that he was candidate to be fust president of the club, all hands
+was satisfied. Two vice presidents was named--one bein' Bassett and
+t'other Ellis. Secretary was a leadin' Conservative; treasurer a head
+Progressive. Officers and crew was happy and mutiny sunk ten fathoms.
+ONLY none of the billiard-room gang had jined, and they was the fish we
+was really tryin' for.
+
+"'Twas next March afore one of 'em did come into the net, though we'd
+have on all kinds of bait--suppers and free ice cream Saturday nights,
+and the like of that. And meantime things had been happenin'.
+
+"The fust thing of importance was Gabe's leavin' town. Our Cape winter
+weather was what fixed him. He stood the no'theasters and Scotch
+drizzles till January, and then he heads for Key West and comfort.
+Said his heart still beat warm for his native village, but his feet was
+froze--or words similar. He cal'lated to be back in the spring. Then
+the Reverend Fisher got a call to somewheres in York State, and felt
+he couldn't afford not to hear it. Nobody blamed him; the salary paid
+a minister in South Orham is enough to make any feller buy patent ear
+drums. But that left our men's club without either skipper or pilot, as
+you might say.
+
+"One week after the farewell sermon, Daniel Bassett drops in casual on
+me. He was passin' around smoking material lavish and regardless.
+
+"'Stitt,' says he, 'you've always voted for Conservatism in our local
+affairs, haven't you?'
+
+"'Well,' says I, 'I didn't vote to roof the town hall with a new
+mortgage, if that's what you mean.'
+
+"'Exactly,' he says. 'Now, our men's club, while not as yet the success
+we hoped for, has come to be a power for good in our community. It needs
+for its president a conservative, thoughtful man. Bailey,' he says, 'it
+has come to my ears that Gaius Ellis intends to run for that office. You
+know him. As a taxpayer, as a sober, thoughtful citizen, my gorge rises
+at such insolence. I protest, sir! I protest against--'
+
+"He was standin' up, makin' gestures with both arms, and he had his
+town-meetin' voice iled and runnin'. I was too busy to hanker for a
+stump speech, so I cut across his bows.
+
+"'All right, all right,' says I. 'I'll vote for you, Dan.'
+
+"He fetched a long breath. 'Thank you,' says he. 'Thank you. That makes
+ten. Ellis can count on no more than nine. My election is assured.'
+
+"Seein' that there wa'n't but nineteen reg'lar voters who come to the
+club meetin's, if Bassett had ten of 'em it sartin did look as if he'd
+get in. But on election night what does Gaius Ellis do but send a wagon
+after old man Solomon Peavey, who'd been dry docked with rheumatiz
+for three months, and Sol's vote evened her up. 'Twas ten to ten, a
+deadlock, and the election was postponed for another week.
+
+"This was of a Tuesday. On Wednesday I met Bije Simmons, the chap who
+was playin' pool at Jotham's.
+
+"'Hey, Bailey!' says he. 'Shake hands with a brother. I'm goin' to jine
+the men's club.'
+
+"'You BE?' says I, surprised enough, for Simmons was a billiard-roomer
+from 'way back.
+
+"'Yup,' he says. 'I'll be voted in at next meetin', sure. I'm studyin'
+up on parchesi now.'
+
+"'Hum!' I says, thinkin'. 'How you goin to vote?'
+
+"'Me?' says he. 'Me? Why, man, I wonder at you! Can't you see the
+fires of Conservatism blazin' in my eyes? I'm Conservative bred and
+Conservative born, and when I'm dead there'll be a Conservative gone.
+By, by. See you Tuesday night.'
+
+"He went off, stoppin' everybody he met to tell 'em the news. And on
+Thursday Ed Barnes dropped in to pay me the seventy-five cents he'd
+borrowed two years ago come Fourth of July. When I'd got over the
+fust shock and had counted the money three times, I commenced to ask
+questions.
+
+"'Somebody die and will you a million, Ed?' I wanted to know.
+
+"'No,' says he. 'It's the reward of virtue. I'm goin' to be a better
+man. I'm jinin' the men's club.'
+
+"'NO!' says I, for Ed was as strong a billiard-roomer as Bije.
+
+"'Sure!' he answers. 'I'm filled full of desires for crokinole and
+progressiveness. See you Tuesday night at the meetin'.'
+
+"And, would you b'lieve it, at that meetin' no less'n six confirmed
+members of the billiard-room gang was voted into the men's club. 'Twas
+a hallelujah gatherin'. I couldn't help thinkin' how glad and proud
+Gabe and Mr. Fisher would have been to see their dreams comin' true.
+But Bassett and Ellis looked more worried than glad, and when the votin'
+took place I understood the reason. Them new members had divided even,
+and the ballots stood Bassett thirteen and Ellis thirteen. The tie was
+still on and the election was put off for another week.
+
+"In that week, surprisin' as it may seem, two more billiard-roomers seen
+a light and jined with us. However, one was for Bassett and t'other for
+Ellis, so the deadlock wa'n't broken. Jotham had only a couple of his
+reg'lars left, and I swan to man if THEY didn't catch the disease inside
+of the follerin' fortni't and hand in their names. The 'Billiard, Pool,
+and Sipio Saloon,' from bein' the liveliest place in town, was now the
+deadest. Through the window you could see poor Jotham mopin' lonesome
+among his peanuts and cigars. The sayin' concernin' the hardness of
+the transgressor's sleddin' was workin' out for HIM, all right. But the
+conversions had come so sudden that I couldn't understand it, though I
+did have some suspicions.
+
+"'Look here, Dan,' says I to Bassett, 'are you goin' to keep this up
+till judgment? There ain't but thirty votin' names in this place--except
+the chaps off fishin', and they won't be back till fall. Fifteen is for
+you and fifteen for Gaius. Most astonishin' agreement of difference ever
+I see. We'll never have a president, at this rate.'
+
+"He winked. 'Won't, hey?' he says. 'Sure you've counted right? I make it
+thirty-one.'
+
+"'I don't see how,' says I, puzzled. 'Nobody's left outside the club but
+Jotham himself, and he--'
+
+"'That's all right,' he interrupts, winkin' again. 'You be on hand next
+Tuesday night. You can't always tell, maybe somethin'll happen.'
+
+"I was on hand, all right, and somethin' did happen, two somethin's, in
+fact. We hadn't much more'n got in our seats afore the door opened,
+and in walked Gaius Ellis, arm in arm with a man; and the man was the
+Honorable Stingy Gabe Atkinson Holway.
+
+"'Gentlemen,' sings out Gaius, bubblin' over with joy, 'I propose three
+cheers for our founder, who has returned to us after his long absence.'
+
+"We give the cheers--that is, some of the folks did. Bassett and our
+gang wa'n't cheerin' much; they looked as if somebody had passed 'em
+a counterfeit note. You see, Gabe Holway was one of the hide-boundest
+Progressives afloat, and a blind man could see who'd got him back again
+and which way he'd vote. It sartinly looked bad for Bassett now.
+
+"Gaius proposes that, out of compliment, as founder of the club, Mr.
+Holway be asked to preside. So he was asked, though the Conservatives
+wa'n't very enthusiastic. Gabe took the chair, preached a little sermon
+about bein' glad to see his native home once more, and raps for order.
+
+"'If there's no other business afore the meetin',' says he, 'we will
+proceed to ballot for president.'
+
+"But it turned out that there was other business. Dan Bassett riz to his
+feet and commenced one of the most feelin' addresses ever I listened to.
+
+"Fust he congratulated all hands upon the success of Mr. Holway's
+philanthropic scheme for the betterment of South Orham's male citizens.
+Jeered at at fust by the unregenerate, it had gone on, winnin' its way
+into the hearts of the people, until one by one the said unregenerate
+had regenerated, and now the club numbered thirty souls and the
+Honorable Atkinson.
+
+"'But,' says Dan, wavin' his arms, 'one man yet remains outside. One
+lone man! The chief sinner, you say? Yes, I admit it. But, gentlemen,
+a repentant sinner. Alone he sits amid the wreck of his business--a
+business wrecked by us, gentlemen--without a customer, without a friend.
+Shall it be said that the free and open-handed men's club of South Orham
+turned its back upon one man, merely because he HAS been what he was?
+Gentlemen, I have talked with Jotham Gale; he is old, he is friendless,
+he no longer has a means of livelihood--we have taken it from him. We
+have turned his followers' steps to better paths. Shall we not turn
+his, also? Gentlemen and friends, Jotham Gale is repentant, he feels
+his ostrichism'--whatever he meant by that--'he desires to become
+self-respecting, and he asks us to help him. He wishes to join this
+club. Gentlemen, I propose for membership in our association the name of
+Jotham W. Gale.'
+
+"He set down and mopped his face. And the powwow that broke loose was
+somethin' tremendous. Of course 'twas plain enough what Dan's game was.
+This was the 'somethin'' that was goin' to happen.
+
+"Ellis see the way the land lay, and he bounces up to protest. 'Twas
+an outrage; a scandal; ridiculous; and so forth, and so on. Poor Gabe
+didn't know what to do, and so he didn't do nothin'. A head Conservative
+seconds Jotham's nomination. 'Twas put to a vote and carried easy. Dan's
+speech had had its effect and a good many folks voted out of sympathy.
+How did I vote? I'LL never tell you.
+
+"And then Bassett gets up, smilin', goes to the outside door, opens it,
+and leads in the new member. He'd been waitin' on the steps, it turned
+out. Jotham looked mighty quiet and meek. I pitied the poor old codger
+more'n ever. Snaked in, he was, out of the wet, like a yeller dog, by
+the club that had kicked him out of his own shop.
+
+"Chairman Gabe pounds for order, and suggests that the votin' can go on.
+But Ellis jumps up, and says he:
+
+"'What's the sense of votin' now?' he asks sarcastic. 'Will the lost
+lamb we've just yanked into the fold have the face to stand up and bleat
+that he hasn't promised to vote Conservative? Dan Bassett, of all the
+contemptible tricks that ever--'
+
+"Bassett's face was redder'n a ripe tomatter. He shakes his fist in
+Gaius's face and yells opinions and comments.
+
+"'Don't you talk to me about tricks, you ward-heeler!' he hollers.
+'Why did you fetch Mr. Holway back home? Why did you, hey? That was the
+trickiest trick that I--'
+
+"Gabe pretty nigh broke his mallet thumpin'.
+
+"'Gentlemen! gentlemen!' says he. 'This is most unseemly. Sit down,
+if you PLEASE. Mr. Ellis, when the purpose of this association is
+considered, it seems to me very wrong to find fault because the chief of
+our former antagonists has seen the error of his ways and become one of
+us. Mr. Bassett, I do not understand your intimation concernin' myself.
+I shall adjourn this meetin' until next Friday evenin', gentlemen.
+Meanwhile, let us remember that we ARE gentlemen.'
+
+"He thumped the desk once, and parades out of the buildin', dignified
+as Julius Caesar. The rest of us toddled along after him, all talkin' at
+once. Bassett and Ellis glowered at each other and hove out hints about
+what would happen afore they got through. 'Twas half-past ten afore I
+got to bed that night, and Sarah J.--that's Mrs. Stitt--kept me awake
+another hour explainin' whys and wherefores.
+
+"For the next three days nobody done anything but knock off work and
+talk club politics. You'd see 'em on the corners and in the post office
+and camped on the meetin'-house steps, arguin' and jawin'. Dan and Gaius
+was hurryin' around, moppin' their foreheads and lookin' worried. On
+Thursday there was all sorts of rumors afloat. Finally they all simmered
+down to one, and that one was what made me stop Stingy Gabe on the
+street and ask for my bearin's.
+
+"'Mr. Holway,' says I, 'is it true that Dan and Gaius have resigned and
+agreed to vote for somebody else?'
+
+"He nodded, grand and complacent.
+
+"'Then who's the somebody?' says I. 'For the land sakes! tell me. It's
+as big a miracle as the prodigal son.'
+
+"I remember now that the prodigal son ain't a miracle, but I was excited
+then.
+
+"'Stitt,' says he, 'I am the "somebody," as you call it. I have decided
+to let my own wishes and inclinations count for nothin' in this affair,
+and to accept the office of president myself. It will be announced at
+the meetin'.'
+
+"I whistled. 'By gum!' says I. 'You've got a great head, Mr. Holway, and
+I give you public credit for it. It's the only course that ain't full of
+breakers. Did you think of it yourself?'
+
+"He colored up a little. 'Why, no, not exactly,' he says. 'The fact is,
+the credit belongs to our new member, Mr. Gale.'
+
+"'To JOTHAM?' says I, astonished.
+
+"'Yes. He suggested my candidacy, as a compromise. Said that he, for
+one, would be proud to vote for me. Mr. Gale seems thoroughly repentant,
+a changed man. I am counting on him for great things in the future.'
+
+"So the fuss seemed settled, thanks to the last person on earth you'd
+expect would be peacemaker. But that afternoon I met Darius Tompkins,
+Bassett's right-hand man.
+
+"'Bailey,' says he, 'you're a Conservative, ain't you? You're for Dan
+through thick and thin?'
+
+"'Why!' says I, 'I understand Dan and Gaius are both out of it now, and
+it's settled on Holway. Dan's promised to vote for him.'
+
+"'HE has,' says Tompkins, with a wink, 'but the rest of us ain't. We
+pledged our votes to Dan Bassett, and we ain't the kind to go back on
+our word. Dan himself'll vote for Gabe; so'll Gaius and his reg'lar
+tribe. That'll make twelve, countin' Holway's own.'
+
+"'Make seventeen, you mean,' says I. 'Gaius and his crowd's fifteen and
+Dan's sixteen and Gabe's seven--'
+
+"He winked again, and interrupted me. 'You're countin' wrong, my boy,'
+says he. 'Five of Gaius's folks come from the old billiard-room gang.
+Just suppose somethin' happened to make that five vote, on the quiet,
+for Bassett. Then--'
+
+"A customer come in then, and Tompkins had to leave; but afore he went
+he got me to one side and whispers:
+
+"'Keep mum, old man, and vote straight for Dan. We'll show old Holway
+that we can't be led around by the nose.'
+
+"'Tompkins,' says I, 'I know your head well enough to be sartin that it
+didn't work this out by itself. And why are you so sure of the billiard
+roomers? Who put you up to this?'
+
+"He rapped the side of his nose. 'The smartest politician in this
+town,' says he, 'and the oldest--J. W. Gale, Esq.! S-s-sh-h! Don't say
+nothin'.'
+
+"I didn't say nothin'. I was past talk. And that evenin' as I went past
+the billiard room on my way home, who should come out of it but Gaius
+Ellis, and HE looked as happy as Tompkins had.
+
+"Friday night that clubroom was filled. Every member was there, and most
+of 'em had fetched their wives and families along to see the fun. There
+was whisperin' and secrecy everywheres. Honorable Gabe took the chair
+and makes announcements that the shebang is open for business.
+
+"Up gets Dave Bassett and all but sheds tears. He says that he made up
+his mind to vote, not for himself, but for the founder and patron of
+the club, the Honorable Atkinson Holway. He spread it over Gabe thick
+as sugar on a youngster's cake. And when he set down all hands applauded
+like fury. But I noticed that he hadn't spoke for nary Conservative but
+himself.
+
+"Then Gaius Ellis rises and sobs similar. He's stopped votin' for
+himself, too. His ballot is for that grand and good man, Gabriel
+Atkinson Holway, Esq. More applause and hurrahs.
+
+"And then who should get up but Jotham Gale. He talks humble, like a
+has-been that knows he's a back number, but he says it's his privilege
+to cast his fust vote in that club for Mr. Holway, South Orham's pride.
+Nobody was expectin' him to say anything, and the cheers pretty nigh
+broke the winders.
+
+"Gabe was turrible affected by the soft soap, you could see that. He
+fairly sobbed as he sprinkled gratitude and acceptances. When the agony
+was over, he says the votin' can begin.
+
+"I cal'lated he expected somebody'd move to make it unanimous, but they
+didn't. So the blank ballots was handed around, and the pencils got
+busy. Gabe app'ints three tellers, Bassett and Ellis, of course, for
+two--and the third, Jotham Gale.
+
+"'As a compliment to our newest member,' says the chairman, smilin'
+philanthropic.
+
+"When the votes was in the hat, the tellers retired to the amusement
+room to count up. It took a long time. I see the Conservatives and
+Progressives nudgin' each other and winkin' back and forth. Five
+minutes, then ten, then fifteen.
+
+"And all of a sudden the biggest row bu'st loose in that amusement room
+that ever you heard. Rattlety--bang! Biff! Smash! The door flew open,
+and in rolled Bassett and Ellis, all legs and arms. Gabe and some of the
+rest hauled 'em apart and held 'em so, but the language them two hove at
+each other was enough to bring down a judgment.
+
+"'Gentlemen! gentlemen!' hollers poor Gabe. 'What in the world? I am
+astounded! I--'
+
+"'You miserable traitor!' shrieks Gaius, wavin' a fist at Dan.
+
+"'You low-down hound!' whoops Dan back at him.
+
+"'Silence!' bellers Gabe, poundin' thunder storms on the desk. 'Will
+some one explain why these maniacs are--Ah, Mr. Gale--thank goodness,
+YOU at least are sane!'
+
+"Jotham walks to the front of the platform. He was holdin' the hat and a
+slip of paper with the result set down on it.
+
+"'Ladies and feller members,' says he, 'there's been some surprisin'
+votin' done in this election. Things ain't gone as we cal'lated they
+would, somehow. Mr. Holway, your election wa'n't unanimous, after all.'
+
+"The way he said it made most everybody think Gabe was elected, anyhow,
+and I guess Holway thought so himself, for he smiled forgivin' and says:
+
+"'Never mind, Mr. Gale,' says he. 'A unanimous vote was perhaps too much
+to expect. Go on.'
+
+"'Yes,' says Jotham. 'Well, here's the way it stands. I'll read it to
+you.'
+
+"He fixes his specs and reads like this:
+
+"'Number of votes cast, 32.'
+
+"'Honorable Atkinson Holway has 4.'
+
+"'WHAT?' gasps Stingy Gabe, fallin' into his chair.
+
+"'Yes, sir,' says Jotham. 'It's a shame, I know, but it looks as nobody
+voted for you, Mr. Holway, but yourself and me and Dan and Gaius. To
+proceed:
+
+"'Daniel Bassett has 9.'
+
+"The Conservatives and their women folks fairly groaned out loud.
+Tompkins jumped to his feet, but Jotham held up a hand.
+
+"'Just a moment, D'rius,' he says. 'I ain't through yet.'
+
+"'Gaius Ellis has 9.'
+
+"Then 'twas the Progressives' turn to groan. The racket and hubbub was
+gettin' louder all the time.
+
+"'There's ten votes left,' goes on Jotham, 'and they bear the name
+of Jotham W. Gale. I can't understand it, but it does appear that I'm
+elected president of this 'ere club. Gentlemen, I thank you for the
+honor, which is as great as 'tis unexpected.'
+
+"Gabe and the Progressives and the Conservatives set and looked at each
+other. And up jumps 'Bije Simmons, and calls for three cheers for the
+new president.
+
+"Nobody jined in them cheers but the old billiard room gang; they did,
+though, every one of 'em, and Jotham smiled fatherly down on his flock.
+
+"I s'pose there ain't no need of explainin'. Jotham had worked it all,
+from the very fust. When the tie business begun and Gaius and Dan was
+bribin' the billiard roomers to jine the club, 'twas him that fixed how
+they should vote so's to keep the deadlock goin'. 'Twas him that put
+Bassett up to proposin' him as a member. 'Twas him that suggested Gabe's
+comin' back to Gaius. 'Twas him that--But what's the use? 'Twas him all
+along. He was IT.
+
+"That night everybody but the billiard-room gang sent in their
+resignation to that club. We refused to be bossed by such people. Gabe
+resigned, too. He was disgusted with East Harniss and all hands in it.
+He'd have took back the clubhouse, but he couldn't, as the deed of gift
+was free and clear. But he swore he'd never give it another cent.
+
+"Folks thought that would end the thing, because it wouldn't be
+self-supportin', but Jotham had different idees. He simply moved his
+pool tables and truck up from the old shop, and now he's got the finest
+place of the kind on the Cape, rent free.
+
+"'I told you 'twould make a good billiard saloon, didn't I, Bailey?' he
+says, chucklin'.
+
+"'Jotham,' says I, 'of your kind you're a perfect wonder.'
+
+"'Well,' says he, 'I diagnosed that men's club as sufferin' from acute
+politics. I've been doctorin' that disease for a long time. The trouble
+with you reformers,' he adds, solemn, 'is that, when it comes to
+political doin's, you ain't practical.'
+
+"As for Stingy Gabe, he shut up his fine house and moved to New York.
+Said he was through with helpin' the moral tone.
+
+"'When I die,' he says to me, 'if I go to the bad place I may start in
+reformin' that. It don't need it no more'n South Orham does, but 'twill
+be enough sight easier job.'
+
+"And," concluded Captain Stitt, as soon as he could be heard above the
+"Haw! haws!" caused by the Honorable Holway's final summing-up of his
+native town, "I ain't so sure that he was greatly mistook. What do you
+think, Sol?"
+
+The depot master shook his head. "Don't know, Bailey," he answered,
+dryly. "I'll have to visit both places 'fore I give an opinion. I HAVE
+been to South Orham, but the neighborhood that your friend Gabe compared
+it to I ain't seen--yet. I put on that 'yet,'" he added, with a wink,
+"'cause I knew Sim Phinney would if I didn't."
+
+Captain Bailey rose and covered a yawn with a plump hand.
+
+"I believe I'll go over to Obed's and turn in," he said. "I'm sleepy as
+a minister's horse tonight. You don't mind, do you, Obed?"
+
+"No-o," replied Mr. Gott, slowly. "No, I don't, 'special. I kind of
+thought I'd run into the club a few minutes and see some of the other
+fellers. But it ain't important--not very."
+
+The "club" was one of the rooms over Mr. Higgins's store and post
+office. It had been recently fitted up with chairs and tables from
+its members' garrets and, when the depot and store were closed, was a
+favorite gathering place of those reckless ones who cared to "set up
+late"--that is, until eleven o'clock. Most of the men in town belonged,
+but many, Captain Berry among them, visited the room but seldom.
+
+"Checkers," said the depot master, referring to the "club's" favorite
+game, "is too deliberately excitin' for me. To watch Beriah Higgins and
+Ezra Weeks fightin' out a game of checkers is like gettin' your feet
+froze in January and waitin' for spring to come and thaw 'em out. It's a
+numbin' kind of dissipation."
+
+But Obed Gott was a regular attendant at the "club," and to-night he
+had a particular reason for wishing to be there. His cousin noticed his
+hesitation and made haste to relieve his mind.
+
+"That's all right, Obed," he said, "go to the club, by all means. I
+ain't such a stranger at your house that I can't find my way to bed
+without help. Good-night, Sim. Good-night, Issy. Cheer up; maybe the
+Major's glassware IS priceless. So long, Cap'n Sol. See you again some
+time tomorrer."
+
+He and Mr. Gott departed. The depot master rose from his chair. "Issy,"
+he commanded, "shut up shop."
+
+Issy obeyed, closing the windows and locking the front door. Captain
+Sol himself locked the ticket case and put the cash till into the small
+safe.
+
+"That'll do, Is," said the Captain. "Good-night. Don't worry too much
+over the Major's glass. I'll talk with him, myself. You dream about
+pleasanter things--your girl, if you've got one."
+
+That was a chance shot, but it struck Issy in the heart. Even during
+his melancholy progress to and from Major Hardee's, the vision of Gertie
+Higgins had danced before his greenish-blue eyes. His freckles were
+engulfed in a surge of blushes as, with a stammered "Night, Cap'n
+Berry," he hurried out into the moonlight.
+
+The depot master blew out the lamps. "Come on, Sim," he said, briefly.
+"Goin' to walk up with me, or was YOU goin' to the club?"
+
+"Cal'late I'll trot along with you, if you don't mind. I'd just as soon
+get home early and wrastle with the figures on that Williams movin'
+job."
+
+They left the depot, locked and dark, passed the "general store," where
+Mr. Higgins was putting out his lights prior to adjournment to the
+"club" overhead, walked up Main Street to Cross Street, turned and began
+climbing the hill. Simeon spoke several times but his friend did not
+answer. A sudden change had come over him. The good spirits with which
+he told of his adventure with Williams and which had remained during
+Phinney's stay at the depot, were gone, apparently. His face, in the
+moonlight, was grave and he strode on, his hands in his pockets.
+
+At the crest of the hill he stopped.
+
+"Good-night, Sim," he said, shortly, and, turning, walked off.
+
+The building mover gazed after him in surprise. The nearest way to the
+Berry home was straight down Cross Street, on the other side of the
+hill, to the Shore Road, and thence along that road for an eighth of
+a mile. The Captain's usual course was just that. But to-night he had
+taken the long route, the Hill Boulevard, which made a wide curve before
+it descended to the road below.
+
+Sim, who had had a shrewd suspicion concerning his friend's silence and
+evident mental disturbance, stood still, looking and wondering. Olive
+Edwards, Captain Berry's old sweetheart, lived on the Boulevard. She
+was in trouble and the Captain knew it. He had asked, that very evening,
+what she was going to do when forced to move. Phinney could not tell
+him. Had he gone to find out for himself? Was the mountain at last
+coming to Mohammed?
+
+For some minutes Simeon remained where he was, thinking and surmising.
+Then he, too, turned and walked cautiously up the Boulevard. He
+passed the Williams mansion, its library windows ablaze. He passed
+the twenty-five room "cottage" of the gentleman from Chicago. Then
+he halted. Opposite him was the little Edwards dwelling and shop. The
+curtains were up and there was a lamp burning on the small counter.
+Beside the lamp, in a rocking chair, sat Olive Edwards, the widow,
+sewing. As he gazed she dropped the sewing in her lap, and raised her
+head.
+
+Phinney saw how worn and sad she looked. And yet, how young, considering
+her forty years and all she had endured and must endure. She put her
+hand over her eyes, then removed it wearily. A lump came in Simeon's
+throat. If he might only help her; if SOME ONE might help her in her
+lonely misery.
+
+And then, from where he stood in the shadow of the Chicago gentleman's
+hedge, he saw a figure step from the shadows fifty feet farther on.
+It was Captain Solomon Berry. He walked to the middle of the road
+and halted, looking in at Olive. Phinney's heart gave a jump. Was the
+Captain going into that house, going to HER, after all these years? WAS
+the mountain--
+
+But no. For a full minute the depot master stood, looking in at the
+woman by the lamp. Then he jammed his hands into his pockets, wheeled,
+and tramped rapidly off toward his home. Simeon Phinney went home, also,
+but it was with a heavy heart that he sat down to figure the cost of
+moving the Williams "pure Colonial" to its destined location.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IV
+
+THE MAJOR
+
+
+The depot master and his friend, Mr. Phinney, were not the only ones
+whose souls were troubled that evening. Obed Gott, as he stood at the
+foot of the stairs leading to the meeting place of the "club," was vexed
+and worried. His cousin, Captain Stitt, had gone into the house and up
+to his room, and Obed, after seeing him safely on his way, had returned
+to the club. But, instead of entering immediately, he stood in the
+Higgins doorway, thinking, and frowning as he thought. And the subject
+of his thought was the idol of feminine East Harniss, the "old-school
+gentleman," Major Cuthbertson Scott Hardee.
+
+The Major first came to East Harniss one balmy morning in March--came,
+and created an immediate sensation. "Redny" Blount, who drives the
+"depot wagon," was wrestling with a sample trunk belonging to the
+traveling representative of Messrs. Braid & Gimp, of Boston, when he
+heard a voice--and such a voice--saying:
+
+"Pardon me, my dear sir, but may I trouble you for one moment?"
+
+Now "Redny" was not used to being addressed as "my dear sir." He turned
+wonderingly, and saw the Major, in all his glory, standing beside him.
+"Redny's" gaze took in the tall, slim figure in the frock coat tightly
+buttoned; took in the white hair, worn just long enough to touch
+the collar of the frock coat; the long, drooping white mustache and
+imperial; the old-fashioned stock and open collar; the black and white
+checked trousers; the gaiters; and, last of all, the flat brimmed,
+carefully brushed, old-fashioned silk hat. Mr. Blount gasped.
+
+"Huh?" he said.
+
+"Pardon me, my dear sir," repeated the Major, blandly, smoothly, and
+with an air of--well, not condescension, but gracious familiarity. "Will
+you be so extremely kind as to inform me concerning the most direct
+route to the hotel or boarding house?"
+
+The word "hotel" was the only part of this speech that struck home to
+"Redny's" awed mind.
+
+"Hotel?" he repeated, slowly. "Why, yes, sir. I'm goin' right that way.
+If you'll git right into my barge I'll fetch you there in ten minutes."
+
+There was enough in this reply, and the manner in which it was
+delivered, to have furnished the station idlers, in the ordinary course
+of events, with matter for gossip and discussion for a week. Mr. Blount
+had not addressed a person as "sir" since he went to school. But no
+one thought of this; all were too much overcome by the splendor of the
+Major's presence.
+
+"Thank you," replied the Major. "Thank you. I am obliged to you, sir.
+Augustus, you may place the baggage in this gentleman's conveyance."
+
+Augustus was an elderly negro, very black as to face and a trifle shabby
+as to clothes, but with a shadow of his master's gentility, like a
+reflected luster, pervading his person. He bowed low, departed, and
+returned dragging a large, old style trunk, and carrying a plump valise.
+
+"Augustus," said the Major, "you may sit upon the seat with the driver.
+That is," he added, courteously, "if Mr.--Mr.--"
+
+"Blount," prompted the gratified "Redny."
+
+"If Mr. Blount will be good enough to permit you to do so."
+
+"Why, sartin. Jump right up. Giddap, you!"
+
+There was but one passenger, besides the Major and Augustus, in the
+"depot wagon" that morning. This passenger was Mrs. Polena Ginn, who had
+been to Brockton on a visit. To Mrs. Polena the Major, raising his hat
+in a manner that no native of East Harniss could acquire by a lifetime
+of teaching, observed that it was a beautiful morning. The flustered
+widow replied that it "was so." This was the beginning of a conversation
+that lasted until the "Central House" was reached, a conversation that
+left Polena impressed with the idea that her new acquaintance was as
+near the pink of perfection as mortal could be.
+
+"It wa'n't his clothes, nuther," she told her brother, Obed Gott, as
+they sat at the dinner table. "I don't know what 'twas, but you could
+jest see that he was a gentleman all over. I wouldn't wonder if he was
+one of them New York millionaires, like Mr. Williams--but SO different.
+'Redny' Blount says he see his name onto the hotel register and 'twas
+'Cuthbertson Scott Hardee.' Ain't that a tony name for you? And his
+darky man called him 'Major.' I never see sech manners on a livin' soul!
+Obed, I DO wish you'd stop eatin' pie with a knife."
+
+Under these pleasing circumstances did Major Cuthbertson Scott Hardee
+make his first appearance in East Harniss, and the reputation spread
+abroad by Mr. Blount and Mrs. Ginn was confirmed as other prominent
+citizens met him, and fell under the spell. In two short weeks he
+was the most popular and respected man in the village. The Methodist
+minister said, at the Thursday evening sociable, that "Major Hardee is
+a true type of the old-school gentleman," whereupon Beriah Higgins, who
+was running for selectman, and therefore felt obliged to be interested
+in all educational matters, asked whereabouts that school was located,
+and who was teaching it now.
+
+It was a treat to see the Major stroll down Main Street to the post
+office every pleasant spring morning. Coat buttoned tight, silk hat the
+veriest trifle on one side, one glove on and its mate carried with
+the cane in the other hand, and the buttonhole bouquet--always the
+bouquet--as fresh and bright and jaunty as its wearer himself.
+
+It seemed that every housekeeper whose dwelling happened to be situated
+along that portion of the main road had business in the front yard at
+the time of the Major's passing. There were steps to be swept, or rugs
+to be shaken, or doorknobs to be polished just at that particular time.
+Dialogues like the following interrupted the triumphal progress at three
+minute intervals:
+
+"Good-morning, Mrs. Sogberry. GOOD-morning. A delightful morning. Busy
+as the proverbial bee once more, I see. I can never cease to admire the
+industry and model neatness of the Massachusetts housekeeper. And how is
+your charming daughter this morning? Better, I trust?"
+
+"Well, now, Major Hardee, I don't know. Abbie ain't so well's I wish she
+was. She set up a spell yesterday, but the doctor says she ain't gittin'
+along the way she'd ought to. I says to him, s'I, 'Abbie ain't never
+what you'd call a reel hearty eater, but, my land! when she don't eat
+NOTHIN',' I says--"
+
+And so on and so on, with the Major always willing to listen, always
+sympathetic, and always so charmingly courteous.
+
+The Central House, East Harniss's sole hotel, and a very small one at
+that, closed its doors on April 10th. Mr. Godfrey, its proprietor,
+had come to the country for his health. He had been inveigled, by an
+advertisement in a Boston paper, into buying the Central House at East
+Harniss. It would afford him, so he reasoned, light employment and a
+living. The employment was light enough, but the living was lighter. He
+kept the Central House for a year. Then he gave it up as a bad job and
+returned to the city. "I might keep my health if I stayed," he admitted,
+in explaining his position to Captain Berry, "but if I want to keep
+to what little money I have left, I'd better go. Might as well die of
+disease as starvation."
+
+Everyone expected that the "gentleman of the old school" would go also,
+but one evening Abner Payne, whose business is "real estate, fire and
+life insurance, justice of the peace, and houses to let and for sale,"
+rushed into the post office to announce that the Major had leased the
+"Gorham place," furnished, and intended to make East Harniss his home.
+
+"He likes the village so well he's goin' to stay here always," explained
+Abner. "Says he's been all 'round the world, but he never see a place he
+liked so well's he does East Harniss. How's that for high, hey? And you
+callin' it a one-horse town, Obed Gott!"
+
+The Major moved into the "Gorham place" the next morning. It--the
+"place"--was an old-fashioned house on the hill, though not on Mr.
+Williams' "Boulevard." It had been one of the finest mansions in town
+once on a time, but had deteriorated rapidly since old Captain Elijah
+Gorham died. Augustus carried the Major's baggage from the hotel to
+the house. This was done very early and none of the natives saw the
+transfer. There was some speculation as to how the darky managed to
+carry the big trunk single-handed; one of two persons asked Augustus
+this very question, but they received no satisfactory answer. Augustus
+was habitually close-mouthed. Mr. Godfrey left town that same morning on
+the first train.
+
+The Major christened his new home "Silver-leaf Hall," because of two
+great "silver-leaf" trees that stood by the front door. He had some
+repairing, paper hanging and painting done, ordered a big stock of
+groceries from the local dealer, and showed by his every action that
+his stay in East Harniss was to be a lengthy one. He hired a pew in the
+Methodist church, and joined the "club." Augustus did the marketing for
+"Silver-leaf Hall," and had evidently been promoted to the position of
+housekeeper.
+
+The Major moved in April. It was now the third week in June and
+his popularity was, if possible, more pronounced than ever. On this
+particular, the evening of Captain Bailey Stitt's unexpected arrival,
+Obed had been sitting by the tea table in his dining room after supper,
+going over the account books of his paint, paper, and oil store. His
+sister, Mrs. Polena Ginn, was washing dishes in the kitchen.
+
+"Wat's that letter you're readin', Obed?" she called from her post by
+the sink.
+
+"Nothin'," said her brother, gruffly, crumpling up the sheet of note
+paper and jamming it into his pocket.
+
+"My sakes! you're shorter'n pie crust to-night. What's the matter?
+Anything gone wrong at the store?"
+
+"No."
+
+Silence again, only broken by the clatter of dishes. Then Polena said:
+
+"Obed, when are you goin' to take me up to the clubroom so's I can see
+that picture of Major Hardee that he presented the club with? Everybody
+says it's just lovely. Sarah T. says it's perfectly elegant, only not
+quite so handsome as the Major reelly is. She says it don't flatter him
+none."
+
+"Humph! Anybody'd think Hardee was some kind of a wonder, the way you
+women folks go on 'bout him. How do you know but what he might be a
+reg'lar fraud? Looks ain't everything."
+
+"Well, I never! Obed Gott, I should think you'd be 'shamed of yourself,
+talkin' that way. I shan't speak another word to you to-night. I never
+see you act so unlikely. An old fraud! The idea! That grand, noble man!"
+
+Obed tried to make some sort of half-hearted apology, but his sister
+wouldn't listen to it. Polena's dignity was touched. She was a woman of
+consequence in East Harniss, was Polena. Her husband had, at his death,
+left her ten thousand dollars in her own right, and she owned bonds
+and had money in the Wellmouth Bank. Nobody, not even her brother, was
+allowed to talk to her in that fashion.
+
+To tell the truth, Obed was sorry he had offended his sister. He had
+been throwing out hints of late as to the necessity of building an
+addition to the paint and oil store, and had cast a longing look upon
+a portion of Polena's ten thousand. The lady had not promised to extend
+the financial aid, but she had gone so far as to say she would think
+about it. So Obed regretted his insinuations against the Major's
+integrity.
+
+After a while he threw the account books upon the top of the chest of
+drawers, put on his hat and coat and announced that he was going over
+to the depot for a "spell." Polena did not deign to reply, so, after
+repeating the observation, he went out and slammed the door.
+
+Now, two hours later, as he stood in the doorway of the club, he was
+debating what he should do in a certain matter. That matter concerned
+Major Hardee and was, therefore, an extremely delicate one. At length
+Mr. Gott climbed the narrow stairs and entered the clubroom. It was blue
+with tobacco smoke.
+
+The six or eight members present hailed him absently and went on with
+their games of checkers or "seven-up." He attempted a game of checkers
+and lost, which did not tend to make his temper any sweeter. His ill
+nature was so apparent that Beriah Higgins, who suffered from dyspepsia
+and consequent ill temper, finally commented upon it.
+
+"What's the matter with you, Obed?" he asked tartly. "Too much of
+P'lena's mince pie?"
+
+"No," grunted Mr. Gott shortly.
+
+"What is it, then? Ain't paint sellin' well?"
+
+"Sellin' well 'nough. I could sell a hundred ton of paint to-morrow,
+more'n likely, but when it come to gittin' the money for it, that would
+be another story. If folks would pay their bills there wouldn't be no
+trouble."
+
+"Who's stuck you now?"
+
+"I don't s'pose anybody has, but it's just as bad when they don't
+pay up. I've got to have money to keep a-goin' with. It don't make
+no diff'rence if it's as good a customer as Major Hardee; he ought to
+remember that we ain't all rich like him and--"
+
+A general movement among all the club members interrupted him. The
+checker players left their boards and came over; the "seven-up" devotees
+dropped their cards and joined the circle.
+
+"What was that you said?" asked Higgins, uneasily. "The Major owin' you
+money, was it?"
+
+"Oh, course I know he's all right and a fine man and all that,"
+protested Obed, feeling himself put on the defensive. "But that ain't
+it. What's a feller goin' to do when he needs the money and gets a
+letter like that?"
+
+He drew the crumpled sheet of note paper from his pocket, and threw it
+on the table. Higgins picked it up and read it aloud, as follows:
+
+
+SILVERLEAF HALL, June 20th.
+
+MY DEAR MR. GOTT: I am in receipt of your courteous communication of
+recent date. I make it an unvarying rule to keep little ready money here
+in East Harniss, preferring rather to let it remain at interest in the
+financial institutions of the cities. Another rule of mine, peculiar,
+I dare say--even eccentric, if you like--is never to pay by check. I am
+expecting remittances from my attorneys, however, and will then bear you
+in mind. Again thanking you for your courtesy, and begging you to extend
+to your sister my kindest regards, I remain, my dear sir,
+
+Yours very respectfully,
+
+CUTHBERTSON SCOTT HARDEE.
+
+P. S.--I shall be delighted to have the pleasure of entertaining your
+sister and yourself at dinner at the hall on any date agreeable to you.
+Kindly let me hear from you regarding this at your earliest convenience.
+I must insist upon this privilege, so do not disappoint me, I beg.
+
+
+The reception accorded this most gentlemanly epistle was peculiar. Mr.
+Higgins laid it upon the table and put his hand into his own pocket. So
+did Ezra Weeks, the butcher; Caleb Small, the dry goods dealer; "Hen"
+Leadbetter, the livery stable keeper; "Bash" Taylor, the milkman, and
+three or four others. And, wonder of wonders, each produced a sheet of
+note paper exactly like Obed's.
+
+They spread them out on the table. The dates were, of course, different,
+and they differed in other minor particulars, but in the main they were
+exactly alike. And each one of them ended with an invitation to dinner.
+
+The members of the club looked at each other in amazement. Higgins was
+the first to speak.
+
+"Godfrey mighty!" he exclaimed. "Say, this is funny, ain't it? It's
+more'n funny; it's queer! By jimmy, it's more'n that--it's serious! Look
+here, fellers; is there anybody in this crowd that the Major's paid for
+anything any time?"
+
+They waited. No one spoke. Then, with one impulse, every face swung
+about and looked up to where, upon the wall, hung the life-size
+photograph of the Major, dignified, gracious, and gilt-framed. It
+had been presented to the club two months before by Cuthbertson Scott
+Hardee, himself.
+
+"Ike--Ike Peters," said Higgins. "Say, Ike--has he ever paid you for
+havin' that took?"
+
+Mr. Peters, who was the town photographer, reddened, hesitated, and then
+stammered, "Why, no, he ain't, yet."
+
+"Humph!" grunted Higgins. No one else said anything. One or two took
+out pocket memorandum books and went over some figures entered therein.
+Judging by their faces the results of these calculations were not
+pleasing. Obed was the first to break the painful silence:
+
+"Well!" he exclaimed, sarcastically; "ain't nobody got nothin' to say?
+If they ain't, I have. Or, at any rate, I've got somethin' to do." And
+he rose and started to put on his coat.
+
+"Hi! hold on a minute, Obed, you loon!" cried Higgins. "Where are you
+goin'?"
+
+"I'm goin' to put my bill in Squire Baker's hands for c'lection, and I'm
+goin' to do it tonight, too."
+
+He was on his way to the door, but two or three ran to stop him.
+
+"Don't be a fool, Obed," said Higgins. "Don't go off ha'f cocked. Maybe
+we're gittin' scared about nothin'. We don't know but we'll get every
+cent that's owed us."
+
+"Don't KNOW! Well, I ain't goin' to wait to find out. What makes me
+b'ilin' is to think how we've set still and let a man that we never saw
+afore last March, and don't know one blessed thing about, run up bills
+and RUN 'em up. How we come to be such everlastin' fools I don't see!
+What did we let him have the stuff for? Why didn't we make him pay? I--"
+
+"Now see here, Obed Gott," broke in Weeks, the butcher, "you know why
+just as well as we do. Why, blast it!" he added earnestly, "if he was to
+come into my shop to-morrow and tip that old high hat of his, and smile
+and say 'twas a fine mornin and 'How's the good lady to-day?' and all
+that, he'd get ha'f the meat there was in the place, and I wouldn't say
+'Boo'! I jest couldn't, that's all."
+
+This frank statement was received with approving nods and a chorus of
+muttered "That's so's."
+
+"It looks to me this way," declared Higgins. "If the Major's all right,
+he's a mighty good customer for all of us. If he ain't all right, we've
+got to find it out, but we're in too deep to run resks of gettin' him
+mad 'fore we know for sure. Let's think it over for a week. Inside of
+that time some of us'll hint to him, polite but firm, you understand,
+that we've got to have something on account. A week from to-night we'll
+meet in the back room of my store, talk it over and decide what to do.
+What do you say?"
+
+Everybody but Obed agreed. He declared that he had lost money enough
+and wasn't going to be a fool any longer. The others argued with him
+patiently for a while and then Leadbetter, the livery stable keeper,
+said sharply:
+
+"See here, Obe! You ain't the only one in this. How much does the Major
+owe you?"
+
+"Pretty nigh twenty dollars."
+
+"Humph! You're lucky. He owes me over thirty, and I guess Higgins is
+worse off than any of us. Ain't that so, Beriah?"
+
+"About seventy, even money," answered the grocer, shortly. "No use,
+Obed, we've got to hang together. Wait a week and then see. And,
+fellers," he added, "don't tell a soul about this business, 'specially
+the women folks. There ain't a woman nor girl in this town that don't
+think Major Hardee's an A1, gold-plated saint, and twouldn't be safe to
+break the spell on a guess."
+
+Obed reached home even more disgruntled than when he left it. He sat up
+until after twelve, thinking and smoking, and when he went to bed he had
+a brilliant idea. The next morning he wrote a letter and posted it.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V
+
+A BABY AND A ROBBERY
+
+
+The morning train for Boston, at that season of the year, reached East
+Harniss at five minutes to six, an "ungodly hour," according to the
+irascible Mr. Ogden Williams, who, in company with some of his wealthy
+friends, the summer residents, was petitioning the railroad company for
+a change in the time-table. When Captain Sol Berry, the depot master,
+walked briskly down Main Street the morning following Mr. Gott's
+eventful evening at the club, the hands of the clock on the Methodist
+church tower indicated that the time was twenty minutes to six.
+
+Issy McKay was already at the depot, the doors of which were open.
+Captain Sol entered the waiting room and unlocked the ticket rack and
+the little safe. Issy, languidly toying with the broom on the front
+platform, paused in his pretense of sweeping and awaited permission to
+go home for breakfast. It came, in characteristic fashion.
+
+"How's the salt air affectin' your appetite, Is?" asked the Captain,
+casually.
+
+Issy, who, being intensely serious by nature, was uneasy when he
+suspected the presence of a joke, confusedly stammered that he cal'lated
+his appetite was all right.
+
+"Payin' for the Major's glass ain't kept you awake worryin', has it?"
+
+"No-o, sir. I--"
+
+"P'r'aps you thought he was the one to 'do the worryin', hey?"
+
+"I--I don't know."
+
+"Well, what's your folks goin' to have to eat this mornin'?"
+
+Issy admitted his belief that fried clams were to be the breakfast.
+
+"So? Clams? Is, did you ever read the soap advertisement about not bein'
+a clam?"
+
+"I--I don't know's I ever did. No, sir."
+
+"All right; I only called your attention to it as a warnin', that's all.
+When anybody eats as many clams as you do there's a fair chance of his
+turnin' into one. Now clear out, and don't stay so long at breakfast
+that you can't get back in time for dinner. Trot!"
+
+Issy trotted. The depot master seated himself by the door of the ticket
+office and fell into a reverie. It was interrupted by the entrance of
+Hiram Baker. Captain Hiram was an ex-fishing skipper, fifty-five years
+of age, who, with his wife, Sophronia, and their infant son, Hiram Joash
+Baker, lived in a small, old-fashioned house at the other end of the
+village, near the shore. Captain Hiram, having retired from the sea, got
+his living, such as it was, from his string of fish traps, or "weirs."
+
+The depot master hailed the new arrival heartily.
+
+"Hello, there, Hiram!" he cried, rising from his chair. "Glad to see you
+once in a while. Ain't goin' to leave us, are you? Not goin' abroad for
+your health, or anything of that kind, hey?"
+
+Captain Baker laughed.
+
+"No," he answered. "No further abroad than Hyannis. And I'll be back
+from there tonight, if the Lord's willin' and the cars don't get off the
+track. Give me a round trip ticket, will you, Sol?"
+
+The depot master retired to the office, returning with the desired
+ticket. Captain Hiram counted out the price from a confused mass of
+coppers and silver, emptied into his hand from a blackened leather
+purse, tied with a string.
+
+"How's Sophrony?" asked the depot master. "Pretty smart, I hope."
+
+"Yup, she's smart. Has to be to keep up with the rest of the
+family--'specially the youngest."
+
+He chuckled. His friend laughed in sympathy.
+
+"The youngest is the most important of all, I s'pose," he observed. "How
+IS the junior partner of H. Baker and Son?"
+
+"He ain't a silent partner, I'll swear to that. Honest, Sol, I b'lieve
+my 'Dusenberry' is the cutest young one outside of a show. I said so
+only yesterday to Mr. Hilton, the minister. I did, and I meant it."
+
+"Well, we're all gettin' ready to celebrate his birthday. Ho, ho!"
+
+This was a standard joke and was so recognized and honored. A baby born
+on the Fourth of July is sure of a national celebration of his birthday.
+And to Captain Baker and his wife, no celebration, however widespread,
+could do justice to the importance of the occasion. When, to answer the
+heart longings of the child-loving couple married many years, the baby
+came, he was accepted as a special dispensation of Providence and valued
+accordingly.
+
+"He's got a real nice voice, Hiram," said Sophronia, gazing proudly
+at the prodigy, who, clutched gingerly in his father's big hands, was
+screaming his little red face black. "I shouldn't wonder if he grew up
+to sing in the choir."
+
+"That's the kind of voice to make a fo'mast hand step lively!" declared
+Hiram. "You'll see this boy on the quarter deck of a clipper one of
+these days."
+
+Naming him was a portentous proceeding and one not to be lightly gone
+about. Sophronia, who was a Methodist by descent and early confirmation,
+was of the opinion that the child should have a Bible name.
+
+The Captain respected his wife's wishes, but put in an ardent plea for
+his own name, Hiram.
+
+"There's been a Hiram Baker in our family ever since Noah h'isted
+the main-r'yal on the ark," he declared. "I'd kinder like to keep the
+procession a-goin'."
+
+They compromised by agreeing to make the baby's Christian name Hiram and
+to add a middle name selected at random from the Scriptures. The big,
+rickety family Bible was taken from the center table and opened with
+shaking fingers by Mrs. Baker. She read aloud the first sentence that
+met her eye: "The son of Joash."
+
+"Joash!" sneered her husband. "You ain't goin' to cruelize him with that
+name, be you?"
+
+"Hiram Baker, do you dare to fly in the face of Scriptur'?"
+
+"All right! Have it your own way. Go to sleep now, Hiram Joash, while I
+sing 'Storm along, John,' to you."
+
+Little Hiram Joash punched the minister's face with his fat fist when he
+was christened, to the great scandal of his mother and the ill-concealed
+delight of his father.
+
+"Can't blame the child none," declared the Captain. "I'd punch anybody
+that christened a middle name like that onto me."
+
+But, in spite of his name, the baby grew and prospered. He fell out of
+his crib, of course, the moment that he was able, and barked his shins
+over the big shells by the what-not in the parlor the first time that
+he essayed to creep. He teethed with more or less tribulation, and once
+upset the household by an attack of the croup.
+
+They gave up calling him by his first name, because of the Captain's
+invariably answering when the baby was wanted and not answering when he
+himself was wanted. Sophronia would have liked to call him Joash, but
+her husband wouldn't hear of it. At length the father took to calling
+him "Dusenberry," and this nickname was adopted under protest.
+
+Captain Hiram sang the baby to sleep every night. There were three songs
+in the Captain's repertoire. The first was a chanty with a chorus of
+
+     John, storm along, storm along, John,
+     Ain't I glad my day's work's done.
+
+The second was the "Bowline Song."
+
+     Haul on the bowline, the 'Phrony is a-rollin',
+     Haul on the bowline! the bowline HAUL!
+
+At the "haul!" the Captain's foot would come down with a thump. Almost
+the first word little Hiram Joash learned was "haul!" He used to shout
+it and kick his father vigorously in the vest.
+
+These were fair-weather songs. Captain Hiram sang them when everything
+was going smoothly. The "Bowline Song" indicated that he was feeling
+particularly jubilant. He had another that he sang when he was worried.
+It was a lugubrious ditty, with a refrain beginning:
+
+     Oh, sailor boy, sailor boy, 'neath the wild billow,
+     Thy grave is yawnin' and waitin' for thee.
+
+He sang this during the worst of the teething period, and, later, when
+the junior partner wrestled with the whooping cough. You could always
+tell the state of the baby's health by the Captain's choice of songs.
+
+Meanwhile Dusenberry grew and prospered. He learned to walk and to talk,
+after his own peculiar fashion, and, at the mature age of two years and
+six months, formally shipped as first mate aboard his father's dory. His
+duties in this responsible position were to sit in the stern, securely
+fastened by a strap, while the Captain and his two assistants rowed out
+over the bar to haul the nets of the deep water fish weir.
+
+The first mate gave the orders, "All hands on deck! 'Tand by to det ship
+under way!" There was no "sogerin'" aboard the Hiram Junior--that was
+the dory's name--while the first officer had command.
+
+Captain Hiram, always ready to talk of the wonderful baby, told the
+depot master of the youngster's latest achievement, which was to get the
+cover off the butter firkin in the pantry and cover himself with butter
+from head to heel.
+
+"Ho, ho, ho!" he roared, delightedly, "when Sophrony caught him at it,
+what do you s'pose he said? Said he was playin' he was a slice of bread
+and was spreadin' himself. Haw! haw!"
+
+Captain Sol laughed in sympathy.
+
+"But he didn't mean no harm by it," explained the proud father. "He's
+got the tenderest little heart in the world. When he found his ma felt
+bad he bust out cryin' and said he'd scrape it all off again and when it
+come prayer time he'd tell God who did it, so He'd know 'twa'n't mother
+that wasted the nice butter. What do you think of that?"
+
+"No use talkin', Hiram," said the depot master, "that's the kind of boy
+to have."
+
+"You bet you! Hello! here's the train. On time, for a wonder. See you
+later, Sol. You take my advice, get married and have a boy of your own.
+Nothin' like one for solid comfort."
+
+The train was coming and they went out to meet it. The only passenger
+to alight was Mr. Barzilla Wingate, whose arrival had been foretold
+by Bailey Stitt the previous evening. Barzilla was part owner of a
+good-sized summer hotel at Wellmouth Neck. He and the depot master were
+old friends.
+
+After the train had gone Wingate and Captain Sol entered the station
+together. The Captain had insisted that his friend come home with him to
+breakfast, instead of going to the hotel. After some persuasion Barzilla
+agreed. So they sat down to await Issy's arrival. The depot master could
+not leave the station until the "assistant" arrived.
+
+"Well, Barzilla," asked Captain Sol, "what's the newest craze over to
+the hotel?"
+
+"The newest," said Wingate, with a grin, "is automobiles."
+
+"Automobiles? Why, I thought 'twas baseball."
+
+"Baseball was last summer. We had a championship team then. Yes, sir, we
+won out, though for a spell it looked pretty dubious. But baseball's an
+old story. We've had football since, and now--"
+
+"Wait a minute! Football? Why, now I do remember. You had a football
+team there and--and wa'n't there somethin' queer, some sort of a--a
+robbery, or stealin', or swindlin' connected with it? Seems's if I'd
+heard somethin' like that."
+
+Mr. Wingate looked his friend over, winked, and asked a question.
+
+"Sol," he said, "you ain't forgot how to keep a secret?"
+
+The depot master smiled. "I guess not," he said.
+
+"Well, then, I'm goin' to trust you with one. I'm goin' to tell you the
+whole business about that robbin'. It's all mixed up with football and
+millionaires and things--and it's a dead secret, the truth of it. So
+when I tell you it mustn't go no further.
+
+"You see," he went on, "it was late into August when Peter T. was took
+down with the inspiration. Not that there was anything 'specially new
+in his bein' took. He was subject to them seizures, Peter was, and every
+time they broke out in a fresh place. The Old Home House itself was one
+of his inspirations, so was the hirin' of college waiters, the openin'
+of the two 'Annex' cottages, the South Shore Weather Bureau, and a whole
+lot more. Sometimes, as in the weather-bureau foolishness, the disease
+left him and t'other two patients--meanin' me and Cap'n Jonadab--pretty
+weak in the courage, and wasted in the pocketbook; but gen'rally they
+turned out good, and our systems and bank accounts was more healthy than
+normal. One of Peter T.'s inspirations was consider'ble like typhoid
+fever--if you did get over it, you felt better for havin' had it.
+
+"This time the attack was in the shape of a 'supplementary season.'
+'Twas Peter's idea that shuttin' up the Old Home the fust week in
+September was altogether too soon.
+
+"'What's the use of quittin',' says he, 'while there's bait left and the
+fish are bitin'? Why not keep her goin' through September and October?
+Two or three ads--MY ads--in the papers, hintin' that the ducks and wild
+geese are beginnin' to keep the boarders awake by roostin' in the
+back yard and hollerin' at night--two or three of them, and we'll have
+gunners here by the regiment. Other summer hotels do it, the Wapatomac
+House and the rest, so why not us? It hurts my conscience to see good
+money gettin' past the door 'count of the "Not at Home" sign hung on the
+knob. What d'you say, partners?' says he.
+
+"Well, we had consider'ble to say, partic'lar Cap'n Jonadab. 'Twas
+too risky and too expensive. Gunnin' was all right except for one
+thing--that is, that there wa'n't none wuth mentionin'.
+
+"'Ducks are scurser round here than Democrats in a Vermont
+town-meetin',' growled the Cap'n. 'And as for geese! How long has it
+been since you see a goose, Barzilla?'
+
+"'Land knows!' says I. 'I can remember as fur back as the fust time
+Washy Sparrow left off workin', but I can't--'
+
+"Brown told us to shut up. Did we cal'late he didn't know what he was
+talkin' about?
+
+"'I can see two geese right now,' he snaps; 'but they're so old and
+leather-headed you couldn't shoot an idea into their brains with a
+cannon. Gunnin' ain't the whole thing. My makin' a noise like a duck is
+only to get the would-be Teddy Roosevelts headed for this neck of the
+woods. After they get here, it's up to us to keep 'em. And I can think
+of as many ways to do that as the Cap'n can of savin' a quarter. Our
+baseball team's been a success, ain't it? Sure thing! Then why not a
+football team? Parker says he'll get it together, and coach and cap'n
+it, too. And Robinson and his daughter have agreed to stay till October
+fifteenth. So there's a start, anyhow.'
+
+"'Twas a start, and a pretty good one. The Robinsons had come to the Old
+Home about the fust of August, and they was our star boarders. 'G. W.
+Robinson' was the old man's name as entered on the hotel log, and his
+daughter answered to the hail of 'Grace'--that is, when she took
+a notion to answer at all. The Robinsons was what Peter T. called
+'exclusive.' They didn't mix much with the rest of the bunch, but
+kept to themselves in their rooms, partic'lar when a fresh net full of
+boarders was hauled aboard. Then they seemed to take an observation of
+every arrival afore they mingled; questioned the pedigree and statistics
+of all hands, and acted mighty suspicious.
+
+"The only thing that really stirred Papa Robinson up and got him excited
+and friendly was baseball and boat racin'. He was an old sport, that was
+plain, the only real plain thing about him; the rest was mystery. As
+for Grace, she wa'n't plain by a good sight, bein' what Brown called
+a 'peach.' She could have had every single male in tow if she'd wanted
+'em. Apparently she didn't want em, preferrin' to be lonesome and sad
+and interestin'. Yes, sir, there was a mystery about them Robinsons, and
+even Peter T. give in to that.
+
+"'If 'twas anybody else,' says he, 'I'd say the old man was a crook,
+down here hidin' from the police. But he's too rich for that, and always
+has been. He ain't any fly-by-night. I can tell the real article without
+lookin' for the "sterlin'" mark on the handle. But I'll bet all the
+cold-storage eggs in the hotel against the henyard--and that's big
+odds--that he wa'n't christened Robinson. And his face is familiar to
+me. I've seen it somewhere, either in print or in person. I wish I knew
+where.'
+
+"So if the Robinsons had agreed to stay--them and their two
+servants--that was a big help, as Brown said. And Parker would help,
+too, though we agreed there wa'n't no mystery about him. He was a big,
+broad-shouldered young feller just out of college somewheres, who had
+drifted our way the fortni't after the Robinsons came, with a reputation
+for athletics and a leanin' toward cigarettes and Miss Grace. She leaned
+a little, too, but hers wa'n't so much of a bend as his was. He was dead
+gone on her, and if she'd have decided to stay under water, he'd
+have ducked likewise. 'Twas easy enough to see why HE believed in a
+'supplementary season.'
+
+"Me and Jonadab argued it out with Peter, and finally we met halfway,
+so's to speak. We wouldn't keep the whole shebang open, but we'd shut
+up everything but one Annex cottage, and advertise that as a Gunner's
+Retreat. So we done it.
+
+"And it worked. Heavens to Betsy--yes! It worked so well that by the
+second week in September we had to open t'other Annex. The gunnin' was
+bad, but Peter's ads fetched the would-be's, and his 'excursions' and
+picnics and the football team held 'em. The football team especial.
+Parker cap'ned that, and, from the gunnin' crew and the waiters and some
+fishermen in the village, he dug up an eleven that showed symptoms of
+playin' the game. We played the Trumet High School, and beat it, thanks
+to Parker, and that tickled Pa Robinson so that he bought a two-handled
+silver soup tureen--'lovin' cup,' he called it--and agreed to give it to
+the team round about that won the most of the series. So the series was
+arranged, the Old Home House crowd and the Wapatomac House eleven and
+three high-school gangs bein' in it. And 'twas practice, practice,
+practice, from then on.
+
+"When we opened the second Annex, the question of help got serious. Most
+of our college waiters had gone back to school, and we was pretty shy
+of servants. So we put some extry advertisin' in the Cape weeklies, and
+trusted in Providence.
+
+"The evenin' followin' the ad in the weeklies, I was settin' smokin' on
+the back piazza of the shut-up main hotel, when I heard the gate click
+and somebody crunchin' along the clam-shell path. I sung out: 'Ahoy,
+there!' and the cruncher, whoever he was, come my way. Then I made out
+that he was a tall young chap, with his hands in his pockets.
+
+"'Good evenin',' says he. 'Is this Mr. Brown?'
+
+"'Thankin' you for the compliment, it ain't,' I says. 'My name's
+Wingate.'
+
+"'Oh!' says he. 'Is that so? I've heard father speak of you, Mr.
+Wingate. He is Solomon Bearse, of West Ostable. I think you know him
+slightly.'
+
+"Know him? Everybody on the Cape knows Sol Bearse; by reputation,
+anyhow. He's the richest, meanest old cranberry grower and
+coastin'-fleet owner in these parts.
+
+"'Is Sol Bearse your dad?' I asks, astonished. 'Why, then, you must be
+Gus?'
+
+"'No,' he says. 'I'm the other one--Fred.'
+
+"'Oh, the college one. The one who's goin' to be a lawyer.'
+
+"'Well, yes--and no,' says he. 'I WAS the college one, as you call it,
+but I'm not goin' to be a lawyer. Father and I have had some talk on
+that subject, and I think we've settled it. I--well, just at present,
+I'm not sure what I'm goin' to be. That's what I've come to you for. I
+saw your ad in the Item, and--I want a job.'
+
+"I was set all aback, and left with my canvas flappin', as you might
+say. Sol Bearse's boy huntin' a job in a hotel kitchen! Soon's I could
+fetch a whole breath, I wanted partic'lars. He give 'em to me.
+
+"Seems he'd been sent out to one of the colleges in the Middle West by
+his dad, who was dead set on havin' a lawyer in the family. But the more
+he studied, the less he hankered for law. What he wanted to be was a
+literature--a book-agent or a poet, or some such foolishness. Old Sol,
+havin' no more use for a poet than he had for a poor relation, was red
+hot in a minute. Was this what he'd been droppin' good money in the
+education collection box for? Was this--etcetery and so on. He'd
+be--what the church folks say he will be--if Fred don't go in for law.
+Fred, he comes back that he'll be the same if he does. So they disowned
+each other by mutual consent, as the Irishman said, and the boy marches
+out of the front door, bag and baggage. And, as the poetry market seemed
+to be sort of overly supplied at the present time, he decided he must
+do somethin' to earn a dollar, and, seein' our ad, he comes to Wellmouth
+Port and the Old Home.
+
+"'But look here,' says I, 'we ain't got no job for a literary. We need
+fellers to pass pie and wash dishes. And THAT ain't no poem.'
+
+"Well, he thought perhaps he could help make up advertisin'.
+
+"'You can't,' I told him. 'One time, when Peter T. Brown was away, me
+and Cap'n Jonadab cal'lated that a poetry advertisement would be a good
+idee and we managed to shake out ten lines or so. It begun:
+
+     "When you're feelin' tired and pale
+     To the Old Home House you ought to come without fail."
+
+"'We thought 'twas pretty slick, but we never got but one answer, and
+that was a circular from one of them correspondence schools of authors,
+sayin' they'd let us in on a course at cut rates. And the next thing we
+knew we see that poem in the joke page of a Boston paper. I never--'
+
+"He laughed, quiet and sorrowful. He had the quietest way of speakin',
+anyhow, and his voice was a lovely tenor. To hear it purrin' out of his
+big, tall body was as unexpected as a hymn tune in a cent-in-the-slot
+talkin' machine.
+
+"'Too bad,' he says. 'As a waiter, I'm afraid--'
+
+"Just then the door of one of the Annex houses opened sudden, and there
+stood Grace Robinson. The light behind her showed her up plain as could
+be. I heard Fred Bearse make a kind of gaspin' noise in his throat.
+
+"'What a lovely night!' she says, half to herself. Then she calls:
+'Papa, dear, you really ought to see the stars.'
+
+"Old man Robinson, who I judged was in the settin' room, snarled out
+somethin' which wa'n't no compliment to the stars. Then he ordered
+her to come in afore she catched cold. She sighed and obeyed orders,
+shuttin' the door astern of her. Next thing I knew that literary tenor
+grabbed my arm--'twa'n't no canary-bird grip, neither.
+
+"'Who was that?' he whispers, eager.
+
+"I told him. 'That's the name they give,' says I, 'but we have doubts
+about its bein' the real one. You see, there's some mystery about them
+Robinsons, and--'
+
+"'I'll take that waiter's place,' he says, quick. 'Shall I go right in
+and begin now? Don't stop to argue, man; I say I'll take it.'
+
+"And he did take it by main strength, pretty nigh. Every time I'd open
+my mouth he'd shut it up, and at last I give in, and showed him where he
+could sleep.
+
+"'You turn out at five sharp,' I told him. 'And you needn't bother to
+write no poems while you're dressin', neither.'
+
+"'Good night,' he answers, brisk. 'Go, will you, please? I want to
+think.'
+
+"I went. 'Tain't until an hour later that I remembered he hadn't asked
+one word concernin' the wages. And next mornin' he comes to me and
+suggests that perhaps 'twould be as well if I didn't tell his real name.
+He was pretty sure he'd been away schoolin' so long that he wouldn't be
+recognized. 'And incognitos seem to be fashionable here,' he purrs, soft
+and gentle.
+
+"I wouldn't know an incognito if I stepped on one, but the tenor voice
+of him kind of made me sick.
+
+"'All right,' I snaps, sarcastic. 'Suppose I call you "Willie." How'll
+that do?'
+
+"'Do as well as anything, I guess,' he says. Didn't make no odds to him.
+If I'd have called him 'Maud,' he'd have been satisfied.
+
+"He waited in Annex Number Two, which was skippered by Cap'n Jonadab.
+And, for a poet, he done pretty well, so the Cap'n said.
+
+"'But say, Barzilla,' asks Jonadab, 'does that Willie thing know the
+Robinsons?'
+
+"'Guess not,' I says. But, thinkin' of the way he'd acted when the girl
+come to the door: 'Why?'
+
+"'Oh, nothin' much. Only when he come in with the doughnuts the fust
+mornin' at breakfast, I thought Grace sort of jumped and looked funny.
+Anyhow, she didn't eat nothin' after that. P'r'aps that was on account
+of her bein' out sailin' the day afore, though.'
+
+"I said I cal'lated that was it, but all the same I was interested.
+And when, a day or so later, I see Grace and Willie talkin' together
+earnest, out back of the kitchen, I was more so. But I never said
+nothin'. I've been seafarin' long enough to know when to keep my main
+hatch closed.
+
+"The supplementary season dragged along, but it wa'n't quite the success
+it looked like at the start. The gunnin' that year was even worse than
+usual, and excursions and picnics in late September ain't all joy, by
+no manner of means. We shut up the second Annex at the end of the month,
+and transferred the help to Number One. Precious few new boarders come,
+and a good many of the old ones quit. Them that did stay, stayed on
+account of the football. We was edgin' up toward the end of the series,
+and our team and the Wapatomac crowd was neck and neck. It looked as if
+the final game between them and us, over on their grounds, would settle
+who'd have the soup tureen.
+
+"Pa Robinson and Parker had been quite interested in Willie when he
+fust come. They thought he might play with the eleven, you see. But he
+wouldn't. Set his foot right down.
+
+"'I don't care for athletics,' he says, mild but firm. 'They used to
+interest me somewhat, but not now.'
+
+"The old man was crazy. He'd heard about Willie's literature leanin's,
+and he give out that he'd never see a writer yet that wa'n't a 'sissy.'
+Wanted us to fire Bearse right off, but we kept him, thanks to me. If
+he'd seen the 'sissy' kick the ball once, same as I did, it might have
+changed his mind some. He was passin' along the end of the field when
+the gang was practicin', and the ball come his way. He caught it on the
+fly, and sent it back with his toe. It went a mile, seemed so, whirlin'
+and whizzin'. Willie never even looked to see where it went; just kept
+on his course for the kitchen.
+
+"The big sensation hit us on the fifth of October, right after supper.
+Me and Peter T. and Jonadab was in the office, when down comes Henry,
+old Robinson's man servant, white as a sheet and wringin' his hands
+distracted.
+
+"'Oh, I say, Mr. Brown!' says he, shakin' all over like a quicksand.
+'Oh, Mr. Brown, sir! Will you come right up to Mr. Sterz--I mean Mr.
+Robinson's room, please, sir! 'E wants to see you gentlemen special.
+'Urry, please! 'Urry!'
+
+"So we ''urried,' wonderin' what on earth was the matter. And when we
+got to the Robinson rooms, there was Grace, lookin' awful pale, and the
+old man himself ragin' up and down like a horse mack'rel in a fish weir.
+
+"Soon as papa sees us, he jumped up in the air, so's to speak, and when
+he lit 'twas right on our necks. His daughter, who seemed to be the
+sanest one in the lot, run and shut the door.
+
+"'Look here, you!' raved the old gent, shakin' both fists under Peter
+T.'s nose. 'Didn't you tell me this was a respectable hotel? And ain't
+we payin' for respectability?'
+
+"Peter admitted it, bein' too much set back to argue, I cal'late.
+
+"'Yes!' rages Robinson. 'We pay enough for all the respectability in
+this state. And yet, by the livin' Moses! I can't go out of my room
+to spoil my digestion with your cussed dried-apple pie, but what I'm
+robbed!'
+
+"'Robbed!' the three of us gurgles in chorus.
+
+"'Yes, sir! Robbed! Robbed! ROBBED! What do you think I came here for?
+And why do I stay here all this time? 'Cause I LIKE it? 'Cause I can't
+afford a better place? No, sir! By the great horn spoon! I come here
+because I thought in this forsaken hole I could get lost and be safe.
+And now--'
+
+"He tore around like a water spout, Grace trying to calm him, and
+Henry and Suzette, the maid, groanin' and sobbin' accompaniments in the
+corner. I looked at the dresser. There was silver-backed brushes and all
+sorts of expensive doodads spread out loose, and Miss Robinson's watch
+and a di'mond ring, and a few other knickknacks. I couldn't imagine a
+thief's leavin' all that truck, and I said so.
+
+"'Them?' sputters Pa, frantic. 'What the brimstone blazes do you think
+I care for them? I could buy that sort of stuff by the car-load, if I
+wanted to. But what's been stole is--Oh, get out and leave me alone!
+You're no good, the lot of you!'
+
+"'Father has had a valuable paper stolen from him,' explains Grace. 'A
+very valuable paper.'
+
+"'Valuable!' howls her dad. 'VALUABLE! Why, if Gordon and his gang get
+that paper, they've got ME, that's all. Their suit's as good as won, and
+I know it. And to think that I've kept it safe up to within a month
+of the trial, and now--Grace Sterzer, you stop pattin' my head. I'm no
+pussy-cat! By the--' And so on, indefinite.
+
+"When he called his daughter Sterzer, instead of Robinson, I cal'lated
+he was loony, sure enough. But Peter T. slapped his leg.
+
+"'Oh!' he says, as if he'd seen a light all to once. 'Ah, NOW I begin
+to get wise. I knew your face was--See here, Mr. Sterzer--Mr. Gabriel
+Sterzer--don't you think we'd better have a real, plain talk on this
+matter? Let's get down to tacks. Was the paper you lost something to do
+with the Sterzer-Gordon lawsuit? The Aluminum Trust case, you know?'
+
+"The old man stopped dancin', stared at him hard, and then set down and
+wiped his forehead.
+
+"'Something to DO with it?' he groans. 'Why, you idiot, it was IT!
+If Gordon's lawyers get that paper--and they've been after it for a
+year--then the fat's all in the fire. There's nothin' left for me to do
+but compromise.'
+
+"When Peter T. mentioned the name of Gabriel Sterzer, me and Jonadab
+begun to see a light, too. 'Course you remember the bust-up of the
+Aluminum Trust--everybody does. The papers was full of it. There'd
+been a row among the two leadin' stockholders, Gabe Sterzer and 'Major'
+Gordon. Them two double-back-action millionaires practically owned the
+trust, and the state 'twas in, and the politics of that state, and all
+the politicians. Each of 'em run three or four banks of their own, and
+a couple of newspapers, and other things, till you couldn't rest. Then
+they had the row, and Gabe had took his playthings and gone home, as
+you might say. Among the playthings was a majority of the stock, and the
+Major had sued for it. The suit, with pictures of the leadin'
+characters and the lawyers and all, had been spread-eagled in the papers
+everywheres. No wonder 'Robinson's' face was familiar.
+
+"But it seemed that Sterzer had held the trump card in the shape of the
+original agreement between him and Gordon. And he hung on to it like
+the Old Scratch to a fiddler. Gordon and his crowd had done everything,
+short of murder, to get it; hired folks to steal it, and so on, because,
+once they DID get it, Gabe hadn't a leg to stand on--he'd have to divide
+equal, which wa'n't his desires, by a good sight. The Sterzer lawyers
+had wanted him to leave it in their charge, but no--he knew too much for
+that. The pig-headed old fool had carted it with him wherever he went,
+and him and his daughter had come to the Old Home House because he
+figgered nobody would think of their bein' in such an out-of-the-way
+place as that. But they HAD thought of it. Anyhow, the paper was gone.
+
+"'But Mr. Robinzer--Sterson, I mean--' cut in Cap'n Jonadab, 'you could
+have 'em took up for stealin', couldn't you? They wouldn't dare--'
+
+"''Course they'd dare! S'pose they don't know I wouldn't have that
+agreement get in the papers? Dare! They'd dare anything. If they get
+away with it, by hook or crook, all I can do is haul in my horns and
+compromise. If they've got that paper, the suit never comes to trial.'
+
+"'Well, they ain't got it yet,' says Peter, decided. 'Whoever stole the
+thing is right here in this boardin'-house, and it's up to us to see
+that they stay here. Barzilla, you take care of the mail. No letters
+must go out to-night. Jonadab, you set up and watch all hands, help and
+all. Nobody must leave this place, if we have to tie em. And I'll keep a
+gen'ral overseein' of the whole thing, till we get a detective. And--if
+you'll stand the waybill, Mr. Sterzer--we'll have the best Pinkerton in
+Boston down here in three hours by special train. By the way, are you
+sure the thing IS lifted? Where was it?'
+
+"Old Gabe kind of colored up, and give in that 'twas under his pillow.
+He always kept it there after the beds was made.
+
+"'Humph!' grunts Brown. 'Why didn't you hang it on the door-knob? Under
+the pillow! If I was a sneak thief, the first place I'd look would be
+under the pillow; after that I'd tackle the jewelry box and the safe.'
+
+"There was consider'ble more talk. Seems the Sterzers had left Henry on
+guard, same as they always done, when they went to supper. They could
+trust him and Suzette absolute, they said. But Henry had gone down
+the hall after a drink of water, and when he had got back everything
+apparently was all right. 'Twa'n't till Gabe himself come up that he
+found the paper gone. I judged he'd made it interestin' for Henry; the
+poor critter looked that way.
+
+"All hands agreed to keep mum for the present and to watch. Peter
+hustled to the office and called up the Pinkertons over the long
+distance."
+
+Mr. Wingate paused. Captain Sol was impatient.
+
+"Go on," he said. "Don't stop now, I'm gettin' anxious."
+
+Barzilla rose to his feet. "Here's your McKay man back again," he said.
+"Let's go up to your house and have breakfast. We can talk while we're
+eatin'. I'm empty as a poorhouse boarder's pocketbook."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VI
+
+AVIATION AND AVARICE
+
+
+Breakfast at Capt. Sol Berry's was a bountiful meal. The depot master
+employed a middle-aged woman who came in each day, cooked his meals and
+did the housework, returning to her own home at night. After Mr. Wingate
+had mowed a clean swath through ham and eggs, cornbread and coffee,
+and had reached the cooky and doughnut stage, he condescended to speak
+further concerning the stolen paper.
+
+"Well," he said, "Brown give me and Jonadab a serious talkin' to when he
+got us alone."
+
+"'Now, fellers,' he says, 'we know what we've got to do. Nothin'll be
+too good for this shebang and us if we get that agreement back. Fust
+place, the thing was done a few minutes after the supper-bell rung.
+That is, unless that 'Enry is in on the deal, which ain't unlikely,
+considerin' the price he could get from the Gordon gang. Was anybody
+late at the tables?'
+
+"Why, yes; there were quite a few late. Two of the 'gunners,' who'd been
+on a forlorn-hope duck hunt; and a minister and his wife, out walkin'
+for their health; and Parker and two fellers from the football team,
+who'd been practicin'.
+
+"'Any of the waiters or the chambermaids?' asked Peter.
+
+"I'd been expectin' he'd ask that, and I hated to answer.
+
+"'One of the waiters was a little late,' says I. 'Willie wa'n't on hand
+immediate. Said he went to wash his hands.'
+
+"Now the help gen'rally washed in the fo'castle--the servants'
+quarters, I mean--but there was a wash room on the floor where the
+Sterzer-Robinsons roomed. Peter looked at Jonadab, and the two of 'em at
+me. And I had to own up that Willie had come downstairs from that wash
+room a few minutes after the bell rung.
+
+"'Hum!' says Peter T. 'Hum!' he says. 'Look here, Barzilla, didn't you
+tell me you knew that feller's real name, and that he had been studying
+law?'
+
+"'No,' says I, emphatic. 'I said 'twas law he was tryin' to get away
+from. His tastes run large to literation and poetry.'
+
+"'Hum!' says Peter again. 'All papers are more or less literary--even
+trust agreements. Hum!'
+
+"'All the same,' says I, 'I'll bet my Sunday beaver that HE never took
+it.'
+
+"They didn't answer, but looked solemn. Then the three of us went on
+watch.
+
+"Nobody made a move to go out that evenin'. I kept whatever mail was
+handed in, but there was nothin' that looked like any agreements,
+and nothin' addressed to Gordon or his lawyers. At twelve or so, the
+detective come. Peter drove up to the depot to meet the special. He told
+the whole yarn on the way down.
+
+"The detective was a nice enough chap, and we agreed he should be 'Mr.
+Snow,' of New York, gunnin' for health and ducks. He said the watch must
+be kept up all night, and in the mornin' he'd make his fust move. So
+said, so done.
+
+"And afore breakfast that next mornin' we called everybody into the
+dinin' room, boarders, help, stable hands, every last one. And Peter
+made a little speech. He said that a very valuable paper had been taken
+out of Mr. Robinson's room, and 'twas plain that it must be on the
+premises somewhere. 'Course, nobody was suspicioned, but, speakin'
+for himself, he'd feel better if his clothes and his room was searched
+through. How'd the rest feel about it?
+
+"Well, they felt diff'rent ways, but Parker spoke up like a brick, and
+said he wouldn't rest easy till HIS belongin's was pawed over, and then
+the rest fell in line. We went through everybody and every room on the
+place. Found nothin', of course. Snow--the detective--said he didn't
+expect to. But I tell you there was some talkin' goin' on, just the
+same. The minister, he hinted that he had some doubts about them
+dissipated gunners; and the gunners cal'lated they never see a parson
+yet wouldn't bear watchin'. As for me, I felt like a pickpocket, and,
+judgin' from Jonadab's face, he felt the same.
+
+"The detective man swooped around quiet, bobbin' up in unexpected
+places, like a porpoise, and askin' questions once in a while. He asked
+about most everybody, but about Willie, especial. I judged Peter T. had
+dropped a hint to him and to Gabe. Anyhow, the old critter give out
+that he wouldn't trust a poet with the silver handles on his grandmarm's
+coffin. As for Grace, she acted dreadful nervous and worried. Once I
+caught her swabbin' her eyes, as if she'd been cryin'; but I'd never
+seen her and Willie together but the one time I told you of.
+
+"Four days and nights crawled by. No symptoms yet. The Pinkertons was
+watchin' the Gordon lawyers' office in New York, and they reported
+that nothin' like that agreement had reached there. And our own
+man--Snow--said he'd go bail it hadn't been smuggled off the premises
+sense HE struck port. So 'twas safe so far; but where was it, and who
+had it?
+
+"The final football game, the one with Wapatomac, was to be played over
+on their grounds on the afternoon of the fifth day. Parker, cap'n of the
+eleven, give out that, considerin' everything, he didn't know but we'd
+better call it off. Old Robinson--Sterzer, of course--wouldn't hear of
+it.
+
+"'Not much,' says he. 'I wouldn't chance your losin' that game for forty
+papers. You sail in and lick 'em!' or words to that effect.
+
+"So the eleven was to cruise across the bay in the Greased Lightnin',
+Peter's little motor launch, and the rooters was to go by train later
+on. 'Twas Parker's idee, goin' in the launch. 'Twould be more quiet,
+less strain on the nerves of his men, and they could talk over plays and
+signals on the v'yage.
+
+"So at nine o'clock in the forenoon they was ready, the whole
+team--three waiters, two fishermen, one carpenter from up to Wellmouth
+Center, a stable hand, and Parker and three reg'lar boarders. These last
+three was friends of Parker's that he'd had come down some time afore.
+He knew they could play football, he said, and they'd come to oblige
+him.
+
+"The eleven gathered on the front porch, all in togs and sweaters,
+principally provided and paid for by Sterzer. Cap'n Parker had the ball
+under his arm, and the launch was waitin' ready at the landin'. All the
+boarders--except Grace, who was upstairs in her room--and most of the
+help was standin' round to say good luck and good-by.
+
+"Snow, the detective, was there, and I whispered in his ear.
+
+"'Say,' I says, 'do you realize that for the fust time since the robbery
+here's a lot of folks leavin' the house? How do you know but what--'
+
+"He winked and nodded brisk. 'I'll attend to that,' he says.
+
+"But he didn't have to. Parker spoke fust, and took the wind out of his
+sails.
+
+"'Gentlemen,' says he, 'I don't know how the rest of you feel, but, as
+for me, I don't start without clear skirts. I suggest that Mr. Brown and
+Mr. Wingate here search each one of us, thoroughly. Who knows,' says he,
+laughin', 'but what I've got that precious stolen paper tucked inside my
+sweater? Ha! ha! Come on, fellers! I'll be first.'
+
+"He tossed the ball into a chair and marched into the office, the
+rest of the players after him, takin' it as a big joke. And there the
+searchin' was done, and done thorough, 'cause Peter asked Mr. Snow to
+help, and he knew how. One thing was sure; Pa Gabe's agreement wa'n't
+hid about the persons of that football team. Everybody laughed--that is,
+all but the old man and the detective. Seemed to me that Snow was kind
+of disappointed, and I couldn't see why. 'Twa'n't likely any of THEM was
+thieves.
+
+"Cap'n Parker picked up his football and started off for the launch.
+He'd got about ha'fway to the shore when Willie--who'd been stand-in'
+with the rest of the help, lookin' on--stepped for'ard pretty brisk and
+whispered in the ear of the Pinkerton man. The detective jumped, sort
+of, and looked surprised and mighty interested.
+
+"'By George!' says he. 'I never thought of that.' Then he run to the
+edge of the piazza and called.
+
+"'Mr. Parker!' he sings out. 'Oh, Mr. Parker!'
+
+"Parker was at the top of the little rise that slopes away down to the
+landin'. The rest of the eleven was scattered from the shore to the
+hotel steps. He turns, without stoppin', and answers.
+
+"'What is it?' he sings out, kind of impatient.
+
+"'There's just one thing we forgot to look at,' shouts Snow. 'Merely a
+matter of form, but just bring that--Hey! Stop him! Stop him!'
+
+"For Parker, instead of comin' back, had turned and was leggin' it for
+the launch as fast as he could, and that was some.
+
+"'Stop!' roars the Pinkerton man, jumpin' down the steps. 'Stop, or--'
+
+"'Hold him, Jim!' screeched Parker, over his shoulder. One of the
+biggest men on the eleven--one of the three 'friends' who'd been so
+obligin' as to come down on purpose to play football--made a dive,
+caught the detective around the waist, and threw him flat.
+
+"'Go on, Ed!' he shouts. 'I've got him, all right.'
+
+"Ed--meanin' Parker--was goin' on, and goin' fast. All hands seemed
+to be frozen stiff, me and Jonadab and Peter T. included. As for me, I
+couldn't make head nor tail of the doin's; things was comin' too quick
+for MY understandin'.
+
+"But there was one on that piazza who wa'n't froze. Fur from it! Willie,
+the poet waiter, made a jump, swung his long legs over the porch-rail,
+hit the ground, and took after that Parker man like a cat after a field
+mouse.
+
+"Run! I never see such runnin'! He fairly flashed across that lawn and
+over the rise. Parker was almost to the landin'; two more jumps and he'd
+been aboard the launch. If he'd once got aboard, a turn of the switch
+and that electric craft would have had him out of danger in a shake. But
+them two jumps was two too many. Willie riz off the ground like a flyin'
+machine, turned his feet up and his head down, and lapped his arms
+around Parker's knees. Down the pair of 'em went 'Ker-wallop!' and the
+football flew out of Parker's arms.
+
+"In an eyewink that poet was up, grabs the ball, and comes tearin' back
+toward us.
+
+"'Stop him!' shrieks Parker from astern.
+
+"'Head him off! Tackle him!' bellers the big chap who was hangin' onto
+the detective.
+
+"They tell me that discipline and obeyin' orders is as much in football
+as 'tis aboard ship. If that's so, every one of the Old Home House
+eleven was onto their jobs. There was five men between Willie and the
+hotel, and they all bore down on him like bats on a June bug.
+
+"'Get him!' howls Parker, racin' to help.
+
+"'Down him!' chimes in big Jim, his knee in poor Snow's back.
+
+"'Run, Bearse! Run!' whoops the Pinkerton man, liftin' his mouth out of
+the sand.
+
+"He run--don't you worry about that! Likewise he dodged. One chap
+swooped at him, and he ducked under his arms. Another made a dive, and
+he jumped over him. The third one he pushed one side with his hand.
+'Pushed!' did I say? 'Knocked' would be better, for the feller--the
+carpenter 'twas--went over and over like a barrel rollin' down hill. But
+there was two more left, and one of 'em was bound to have him.
+
+"Then a window upstairs banged open.
+
+"'Oh, Mr. Bearse!' screamed a voice--Grace Sterzer's voice. 'Don't let
+them get you!'
+
+"We all heard her, in spite of the shoutin' and racket. Willie heard
+her, too. The two fellers, one at each side, was almost on him, when
+he stopped, looked up, jumped back, and, as cool as a rain barrel in
+January, he dropped that ball and kicked it.
+
+"I can see that picture now, like a tableau at a church sociable. The
+fellers that was runnin', the others on the ground, and that literary
+pie passer with his foot swung up to his chin.
+
+"And the ball! It sailed up and up in a long curve, began to drop,
+passed over the piazza roof, and out of sight.
+
+"'Lock your door, Miss Sterzer,' sung out Fred Bearse--'Willie' for
+short. 'Lock your door and keep that ball. I think your father's paper
+is inside it.'
+
+"As sure as my name is Barzilla Wingate, he had kicked that football
+straight through the open window into old Gabe's room."
+
+The depot master whooped and slapped his knee. Mr. Wingate grinned
+delightedly and continued:
+
+"There!" he went on, "the cat's out of the bag, and there ain't much
+more to tell. Everybody made a bolt for the room, old Gabe and Peter
+T. in the lead. Grace let her dad in, and the ball was ripped open in a
+hurry. Sure enough! Inside, between the leather and the rubber, was
+the missin' agreement. Among the jubilations and praise services nobody
+thought of much else until Snow, the Pinkerton man, come upstairs, his
+clothes tore and his eyes and nose full of sand.
+
+"'Humph!' says he. 'You've got it, hey? Good! Well, you haven't got
+friend Parker. Look!'
+
+"Such of us as could looked out of the window. There was the launch,
+with Parker and his three 'friends' in it, headin' two-forty for blue
+water.
+
+"'Let 'em go,' says old Gabe, contented. 'I wouldn't arrest 'em if I
+could. This is no police-station job.'
+
+"It come out afterwards that Parker was a young chap just from law
+school, who had gone to work for the firm of shysters who was attendin'
+to the Gordon interests. They had tracked Sterzer to the Old Home House,
+and had put their new hand on the job of gettin' that agreement. Fust
+he'd tried to shine up to Grace, but the shine--her part of it--had wore
+off. Then he decided to steal it; and he done it, just how nobody knows.
+Snow, the detective, says he cal'lates Henry, the servant, is wiser'n
+most folks thinks, fur's that's concerned.
+
+"Snow had found out about Parker inside of two days. Soon's he got the
+report as to who he was, he was morally sartin that he was the thief.
+He'd looked up Willie's record, too, and that was clear. In fact, Willie
+helped him consider'ble. 'Twas him that recognized Parker, havin' seen
+him play on a law-school team. Also 'twas Willie who thought of the
+paper bein' in the football.
+
+"Land of love! What a hero they made of that waiter!
+
+"'By the livin' Moses!' bubbles old Gabe, shakin' both the boy's hands.
+'That was the finest run and tackle and the finest kick I ever saw
+anywhere. I've seen every big game for ten years, and I never saw
+anything half so good.'
+
+"The Pinkerton man laughed. 'There's only one chap on earth who can kick
+like that. Here he is,' layin' his hand on 'Willie's' shoulder. Bearse,
+the All-American half-back last year.'
+
+"Gabe's mouth fell open. 'Not "Bung" Bearse, of Yarvard!' he sings out.
+'Why! WHY!'
+
+"'Of course, father!' purrs his daughter, smilin' and happy. 'I knew
+him at once. He and I were--er--slightly acquainted when I was at
+Highcliffe.'
+
+"'But--but "Bung" Bearse!' gasps the old gent. 'Why, you rascal! I saw
+you kick the goal that beat Haleton. Your reputation is worldwide.'
+
+"Willie--Fred Bearse, that is--shook his head, sad and regretful.
+
+"'Thank you, Mr. Sterzer,' says he, in his gentle tenor. 'I have no
+desire to be famous in athletics. My aspirations now are entirely
+literary.'
+
+"Well, he's got his literary job at last, bein' engaged as sportin'
+editor on one of Gabe's papers. His dad, old Sol Bearse, seems to be
+pretty well satisfied, partic'lar as another engagement between the
+Bearse family and the Sterzers has just been given out."
+
+Barzilla helped himself to another doughnut. His host leaned back in his
+chair and laughed uproariously.
+
+"Well, by the great and mighty!" he exclaimed, "that Willie chap
+certainly did fool you, didn't he. You can't always tell about these
+college critters. Sometimes they break out unexpected, like chickenpox
+in the 'Old Men's Home.' Ha! ha! Say, do you know Nate Scudder?"
+
+"Know him? Course I know him! The meanest man on the Cape, and livin'
+right in my own town, too! Well, if I didn't know him I might trust him,
+and that would be the beginnin' of the end--for me."
+
+"It sartin would. But what made me think of him was what he told
+me about his nephew, who was a college chap, consider'ble like your
+'Willie,' I jedge. Nate and this nephew, Augustus Tolliver, was mixed up
+in that flyin'-machine business, you remember."
+
+"I know they was. Mixed up with that Professor Dixland the papers are
+makin' such a fuss over. Wellmouth's been crazy over it all, but it
+happened a year ago and nobody that I know of has got the straight
+inside facts about it yet. Nate won't talk at all. Whenever you ask him
+he busts out swearin' and walks off. His wife's got such a temper that
+nobody dared ask her, except the minister. He tried it, and ain't been
+the same man since."
+
+"Well," the depot master smilingly scratched his chin, "I cal'late I've
+got those inside facts."
+
+"You HAVE?"
+
+"Yes. Nate gave 'em to me, under protest. You see, I know Nate pretty
+well. I know some things about him that . . . but never mind that part.
+I asked him and, at last, he told me. I'll have to tell you in his
+words, 'cause half the fun was the way he told it and the way he looked
+at the whole business. So you can imagine I'm Nate, and--"
+
+"'Twill be a big strain on my imagination to b'lieve you're Nate
+Scudder, Sol Berry."
+
+"Thanks. However, you'll have to do it for a spell. Well, Nate said that
+it really begun when the Professor and Olivia landed at the Wellmouth
+depot with the freight car full of junk. Of course, the actual
+beginnin' was further back than that, when that Harmon man come on from
+Philadelphy and hunted him up, makin' proclamation that a friend of
+his, a Mr. Van Brunt of New York, had said that Scudder had a nice quiet
+island to let and maybe he could hire it.
+
+"Course Nate had an island--that little sun-dried sandbank a mile or
+so off shore, abreast his house, which we used to call 'Horsefoot Bar.'
+That crazy Van Brunt and his chum, Hartley, who lived there along
+with Sol Pratt a year or so ago, re-christened it 'Ozone Island,' you
+remember. Nate was willin' to let it. He'd let Tophet, if he owned it,
+and a fool come along who wanted to hire it and could pay for the rent
+and heat.
+
+"So Nate and this Harmon feller rowed over to the Bar--to Ozone Island,
+I mean--and the desolation and loneliness of it seemed to suit him to
+perfection. So did the old house and big barn and all the tumbledown
+buildin's stuck there in the beach-grass and sand. Afore they'd left
+they made a dicker. He wa'n't the principal in it. He was the private
+secretary and fust mate of Mr. Professor Ansel Hobart Dixland, the
+scientist--perhaps Scudder'd heard of him?
+
+"Perhaps he had, but if so, Nate forgot it, though he didn't tell him
+that. Harmon ordered a fifteen-foot-high board fence built all around
+the house and barn, and made Nate swear not to tell a soul who was
+comin' nor anything. Dixland might want the island two months, he said,
+or he might want it two years. Nate didn't care. He was in for good
+pickin's, and begun to pick by slicin' a liberal commission off that
+fencebuildin' job. There was a whole passel of letters back and forth
+between Nate and Harmon, and finally Nate got word to meet the victims
+at the depot.
+
+"There was the professor himself, an old dried-up relic with whiskers
+and a temper; and there was Miss Olivia Dixland, his niece and
+housekeeper, a slim, plain lookin' girl, who wore eyeglasses and a
+straight up and down dress. And there was a freight car full of crates
+and boxes and land knows what all. But nary sign was there of a private
+secretary and assistant. The professor told Nate that Mr. Harmon's
+health had suddenly broke down and he'd had to be sent South.
+
+"'It's a calamity,' says he; 'a real calamity! Harmon has been with
+me in my work from the beginnin'; and now, just as it is approachin'
+completion, he is taken away. They say he may die. It is very annoyin'.'
+
+"'Humph!' says Nate. 'Well, maybe it annoys HIM some, too; you can't
+tell. What you goin' to do for a secretary?'
+
+"'I understand,' says the professor, 'that there is a person of
+consider'ble scientific attainment residin' with you, Mr. Scudder, at
+present. Harmon met him while he was here; they were in the same class
+at college. Harmon recommended him highly. Olivia,' he says to the
+niece, 'what was the name of the young man whom Harmon recommended?'
+
+"'Tolliver, Uncle Ansel,' answers the girl, lookin' kind of disdainful
+at Nate. Somehow he had the notion that she didn't take to him fust
+rate.
+
+"'Hey?' sings out Nate. 'Tolliver? Why, that's Augustus! AUGUSTUS! well,
+I'll be switched!'
+
+"Augustus Tolliver was Nate's nephew from up Boston way. Him and Nate
+was livin' together at that time. Huldy Ann, Mrs. Scudder, was out West,
+in Omaha, takin' care of a cousin of hers who was a chronic invalid and,
+what's more to the purpose, owned a lot of stock in copper mines.
+
+"Augustus was a freckle-faced, spindle-shanked little critter, with
+spectacles and a soft, polite way of speakin' that made you want to
+build a fire under him to see if he could swear like a Christian. He
+had a big head with consider'ble hair on the top of it and nothin'
+underneath but what he called 'science' and 'sociology.' His science
+wa'n't nothin' but tommy-rot to Nate, and the 'sociology' was some kind
+of drivel about everybody bein' equal to everybody else, or better.
+'Seemed to think 'twas wrong to get a good price for a thing when you
+found a feller soft enough to pay it. Did you ever hear the beat of that
+in your life?' says Nate.
+
+"However, Augustus had soaked so much science and sociology into that
+weak noddle of his that they kind of made him drunk, as you might say,
+and the doctor had sent him down to board with the Scudders and sleep it
+off. 'Nervous prostration' was the way he had his symptoms labeled, and
+the nerve part was all right, for if a hen flew at him he'd holler and
+run. Scart! you never see such a scart cat in your born days. Scart of a
+boat, scart of being seasick, scart of a gun, scart of everything! Most
+special he was scart of Uncle Nate. The said uncle kept him that way
+so's he wouldn't dast to kick at the grub him and Huldy Ann give him, I
+guess.
+
+"'Augustus Tolliver,' says old Dixland, noddin'. 'Yes, that is the name.
+Has he had a sound scientific trainin'?'
+
+"'Scientific trainin'!' says Nate. 'Scientific trainin'? Why, you bet
+he's had it! That's the only kind of trainin' he HAS had. He'll be just
+the feller for you, Mr. Dixland.'
+
+"So that was settled, all but notifyin' Augustus. But Scudder sighted
+another speculation in the offin', and hove alongside of it.
+
+"'Mr. Harmon, when he was here,' says he, 'he mentioned you needin'
+a nice, dependable man to live on the island and be sort of general
+roustabout. My wife bein' away just now, and all, it struck me that I
+might as well be that man. Maybe my terms'll seem a little high, at fust
+mention, but--'
+
+"'Very good,' says the professor, 'very good. I'm sure you'll be
+satisfactory. Now please see to the unloading of that car. And be
+careful, VERY careful.'
+
+"Nate broke the news to Augustus that afternoon. He had his nose stuck
+in a book, as usual, and never heard, so Nate yelled at him like a mate
+on a tramp steamer, just to keep in trainin'.
+
+"'Who? Who? Who? What? What?' squeals Augustus, jumpin' out of the
+chair as if there was pins in it. 'What is it? Who did it? Oh, my poor
+nerves!'
+
+"'Drat your poor nerves!' Nate says. 'I've got a good promisin' job for
+you. Listen to this.'
+
+"Then he told about the professor's wantin' Gus to be assistant and help
+do what the old man called 'experiments.'
+
+"'Dixland?' says Gus, 'Ansel Hobart Dixland, the great scientist! And
+I'm to be HIS assistant? Assistant to the man who discovered DIXIUM and
+invented--'
+
+"'Oh, belay there!' snorts Nate, impatient. Tell me this--he's awful
+rich, ain't he?'
+
+"'Why, I believe--yes, Harmon said he was. But to think of MY bein'--'
+
+"'Now, nephew,' Nate cut in, 'let me talk to you a minute. Me and your
+Aunt Huldy Ann have been mighty kind to you sence you've been here, and
+here's your chance to do us a good turn. You stick close to science and
+the professor and let me attend to the finances. If this family ain't
+well off pretty soon it won't be your Uncle Nate's fault. Only don't you
+put your oar in where 'tain't needed.'
+
+"Lord love you, Gus didn't care about finances. He was so full of joy at
+bein' made assistant to the great Ansel Whiskers Dixland that he forgot
+everything else, nerves and all.
+
+"So in another day the four of 'em was landed on Ozone Island and so was
+the freight-car load of crates and boxes. Grub and necessaries was to be
+provided by Scudder--for salary as stated and commission understood.
+
+"It took Nate less than a week to find out what old Dixland was up to.
+When he learned it, he set down in the sand and fairly snorted disgust.
+The old idiot was cal'latin' to FLY. Seems that for years he'd been
+experimentin' with what he called 'aeroplanes,' and now he'd reached the
+stage where he b'lieved he could flap his wings and soar. 'Thinks I,'
+says Nate, 'your life work's cut out for you, Nate Scudder. You'll spend
+the rest of your days as gen'ral provider for the Ozone private asylum.'
+Well, Scudder wa'n't complainin' none at the outlook. He couldn't make a
+good livin' no easier.
+
+"The aeroplane was in sections in them boxes and crates. Nate and
+Augustus and the professor got out the sections and fitted 'em together.
+The buildin's on Ozone was all joined together--first the house, then
+the ell, then the wash-rooms and big sheds, and, finally, the barn.
+There was doors connectin', and you could go from house to barn, both
+downstairs and up, without steppin' outside once.
+
+"'Twas in the barn that they built what Whiskers called the 'flyin'
+stage.' 'Twas a long chute arrangement on trestles, and the idea was
+that the aeroplane was to get her start by slidin' down the chute, out
+through the big doors and off by the atmosphere route to glory. I say
+that was the IDEA. In practice she worked different.
+
+"Twice the professor made proclamations that everything was ready, and
+twice they started that flyin' machine goin'. The fust time Dixland
+was at the helm, and him and the aeroplane dropped headfust into the
+sandbank just outside the barn. The machine was underneath, and the
+pieces of it acted as a fender, so all the professor fractured was his
+temper. But it took ten days to get the contraption ready for the next
+fizzle. Then poor, shaky, scart Augustus was pilot, and he went so deep
+into the bank that Nate says he wondered whether 'twas wuth while doin'
+anything but orderin' the gravestone. But they dug him out at last,
+whole, but frightened blue, and his nerves was worse than ever after
+that.
+
+"Then old Dixland announces that he has discovered somethin' wrong in
+the principle of the thing, and they had to wait while he ordered some
+new fittin's from Boston.
+
+"Meanwhile there was other complications settin' in. Scudder was kept
+busy providin' grub and such like and helpin' the niece, Olivia,
+with the housework. Likewise he had his hands full keepin' the
+folks alongshore from findin' out what was goin' on. All this flyin'
+foolishness had to be a dead secret.
+
+"But, busy as he was, he found time to notice the thick acquaintance
+that was developin' between Augustus and Olivia. Them two was what the
+minister calls 'kindred sperrits.' Seems she was sufferin' from science
+same as he was and, more'n that, she was loaded to the gunwale with
+'social reform.' To hear the pair of 'em go on about helpin' the poor
+and 'settlement work' and such was enough, accordin' to Nate, to make
+you leave the table. But there! He couldn't complain. Olivia was her
+uncle's only heir, and Nate could see a rainbow of promise ahead for the
+Scudder family.
+
+"The niece was a nice, quiet girl. The only thing Nate had against her,
+outside of the sociology craziness and her not seemin' to take a shine
+to him, was her confounded pets. Nate said he never had no use for
+pets--lazy critters, eatin' up the victuals and costin' money--but
+Olivia was dead gone on 'em. She adopted an old reprobate of a tom-cat,
+which she labeled 'Galileo,' after an Eyetalian who invented spyglasses
+or somethin' similar, and a great big ugly dog that answered to the hail
+of 'Phillips Brooks'; she named him that because she said the original
+Phillips was a distinguished parson and a great philanthropist.
+
+"That dog was a healthy philanthropist. When Nate kicked him the first
+time, he chased him the whole length of the barn. After that they had to
+keep him chained up. He was just pinin' for a chance to swaller Scudder
+whole, and he showed it.
+
+"Well, as time went on, Olivia and Augustus got chummier and chummier.
+Nate give 'em all the chance possible to be together, and as for old
+Professor Whiskers, all he thought of, anyway, was his blessed flyin'
+machine. So things was shapin' themselves well, 'cordin' to Scudder's
+notion.
+
+"One afternoon Nate come, unexpected, to the top of a sand hill at
+t'other end of the island, and there, below, set Olivia and Augustus.
+He had a clove hitch 'round her waist, and they was lookin' into each
+other's spectacles as if they was windows in the pearly gates. Thinks
+Nate: 'They've signed articles,' and he tiptoed away, feelin' that life
+wa'n't altogether an empty dream.
+
+"They was lively hours, them that followed. To begin with, when Nate got
+back to the barn he found the professor layin' on the floor, under the
+flyin' stage, groanin' soulful but dismal. He'd slipped off one of the
+braces of the trestles and sprained both wrists and bruised himself till
+he wa'n't much more than one big lump. He hadn't bruised his tongue
+none to speak of, though, and his language wa'n't sprained so that you'd
+notice it. What broke him up most of all was that he'd got his aeroplane
+ready to 'fly' again, and now he was knocked out so's he couldn't be
+aboard when she went off the ways.
+
+"'It is the irony of fate,' says he.
+
+"'I got it off the blacksmith over to Wellmouth Centre,' Nate told him;
+'but HE might have got it from Fate, or whoever you mean. 'Twas slippery
+iron, I know that, and I warned you against steppin' on it yesterday.'
+
+"The professor more'n hinted that Nate was a dunderhead idiot, and then
+he commenced to holler for Tolliver; he wanted to see Tolliver right
+off. Scudder thought he'd ought to see a doctor, but he wouldn't, so
+Nate plastered him up best he could, got him into the big chair in the
+front room, and went huntin' Augustus. Him and Olivia was still
+camped in the sand bank. Gus's right arm had got tired by this time, I
+cal'late, but he had a new hitch with his left. Likewise they was still
+starin' into each other's specs.
+
+"'Excuse me for interruptin' the mesmerism,' says Nate, 'but the
+professor wants to see you.'
+
+"They jumped and broke away. But it took more'n that to bring 'em down
+out of the clouds. They'd been flyin' a good sight higher than the old
+aeroplane had yet.
+
+"'Uncle Nathan,' says Augustus, gettin' up and shakin' hands, 'I have
+the most wonderful news for you. It's hardly believable. You'll never
+guess it.'
+
+"'Give me three guesses and I'll win on the fust,' says Nate. 'You two
+are engaged.'
+
+"They looked at him as if he'd done somethin' wonderful. 'But, Uncle,'
+says Gus, shakin' hands again, 'just think! she's actually consented to
+marry me.'
+
+"'Well, that's gen'rally understood to be a part of engagin', ain't
+it?' says Nate. 'I'm glad to hear it. Miss Dixland, I congratulate you.
+You've got a fine, promisin' young man.'
+
+"That, to Nate's notion, was about the biggest lie he ever told, but
+Olivia swallered it for gospel. She seemed to thaw toward Scudder a
+little mite, but 'twa'n't at a permanent melt, by no means.
+
+"'Thank you, Mr. Scudder,' says she, still pretty frosty. 'I am full
+aware of Mr. Tolliver's merits. I'm glad to learn that YOU recognize
+them. He has told some things concernin' his stay at your home which--'
+
+"'Yes, yes,' says Nate, kind of hurried. 'Well, I'm sorry to dump bad
+news into a puddle of happiness like this, but your Uncle Ansel, Miss
+Dixland, has been tryin' to fly without his machine, and he's sorry for
+it.'
+
+"Then he told what had happened to the professor, and Olivia started on
+the run for the house. Augustus was goin', too, but Nate held him back.
+
+"'Wait a minute, Gus,' says he. 'Walk along with me; I want to talk with
+you. Now, as an older man, your nighest relation, and one that's come to
+love you like a son--yes, sir, like a son--I think it's my duty just now
+to say a word of advice. You're goin' to marry a nice girl that's comin'
+in for a lot of money one of these days. The professor, he's kind of
+old, his roof leaks consider'ble, and this trouble is likely to hurry
+the end along.
+
+"'Now, then,' Nate goes on, 'Augustus, my boy, what are you and that
+simple, childlike girl goin' to do with all that money? How are you
+goin' to take care of it? You and 'Livia--you mustn't mind my callin'
+her that 'cause she's goin' to be one of the family so soon--you'll
+want to be fussin' with science and such, and you won't have no time
+to attend to the finances. You'll need a good, safe person to be your
+financial manager. Well, you know me and you know your Aunt Huldy Ann.
+WE know all about financin'; WE'VE had experience. You just let us
+handle the bonds and coupons and them trifles. We'll invest 'em for you.
+We'll be yours and 'Livia's financial managers. As for our wages, maybe
+they'll seem a little high, but that's easy arranged. And--'
+
+"Gus interrupted then. 'Oh, that's all settled,' he says. 'Olivia and I
+have planned all that. When we're married we shall devote our lives to
+social work--to settlement work. All the money we ever get we shall use
+to help the poor. WE don't want any of it. We shall live AMONG the poor,
+live just as frugally as they do. Our money we shall give--every cent of
+it--to charity and--'
+
+"'Lord sakes!' yells Nate, 'DON'T talk that way! Don't! Be you crazy,
+too? Why--'
+
+"But Gus went on, talkin' a steady streak about livin' in a little
+tenement in what he called the 'slums' and chuckin' the money to this
+tramp and that, till Nate's head was whirlin'. 'Twa'n't no joke. He
+meant it and so did she, and they was just the pair of loons to do it,
+too.
+
+"Afore Nate had a chance to think up anything sensible to say, Olivia
+comes hollerin' for Gus to hurry. Off he went, and Nate followed
+along, holdin' his head and staggerin' like a voter comin' home from a
+political candidate's picnic. All he could think of was: 'THIS the end
+of all my plannin'! What--WHAT'LL Huldy Ann say to THIS?'
+
+"Nate found the professor bolstered up in his chair, with the other
+two standin' alongside. He was layin' down the law about that blessed
+aeroplane.
+
+"'No! no! NO! I tell you!' he roars, 'I'll see no doctor. My invention
+is ready at last, and, if I'm goin' to die, I'll die successful.
+Tolliver, you've been a faithful worker with me, and yours shall be the
+privilege of makin' the first flight. Wheel me to the window, Olivia,
+and let me see my triumph.'
+
+"But Olivia didn't move. Instead, she looked at Augustus and he at her.
+'Wheel me to the window!' yells Dixland. 'Tolliver, what are you waitin'
+for? The doors are open, the aeroplane is ready. Go this instant and
+fly.'
+
+"Augustus was a bird all right, 'cordin' to Nate's opinion, but he
+didn't seem anxious to spread his wings. He was white, and them nerves
+of his was all in a twitter. If ever there was a scart critter, 'twas
+him then.
+
+"'Go out and fly,' says Nate to him, pretty average ugly. 'Don't you
+hear the boss's order? Here, professor, I'll push you to the window.'
+
+"'Thank you, Scudder,' says Dixland. And then turnin' to Gus: 'Well,
+sir, may I ask why you wait?'
+
+"'Twas Olivia that answered. 'Uncle Ansel,' says she, 'I must tell you
+somethin'. I should have preferred tellin' you privately,' she puts in,
+glarin' at Nate, 'but it seems I can't. Mr. Tolliver and I are engaged
+to be married.'
+
+"Old Whiskers didn't seem to care a continental. All he had in his
+addled head was that flyin' contraption.
+
+"'All right, all right,' he snaps, fretty, 'I'm satisfied. He appears to
+be a decent young man enough. But now I want him to start my aeroplane.'
+
+"'No, Uncle Ansel,' goes on Olivia, 'I cannot permit him to risk his
+life in that way. His nerves are not strong and neither is his heart.
+Besides, the aeroplane has failed twice. Luckily no one was killed in
+the other trials, but the chances are that the third time may prove
+fatal.'
+
+"'Fatal, you imbecile!' shrieks the professor. 'It's perfected, I tell
+you! I--'
+
+"'It makes no difference. No, uncle, Augustus and I have made up our
+minds. His life and health are too precious; he must be spared for the
+grand work that we are to do together. No, Uncle Ansel, he shall NOT
+fly.'
+
+"Did you ever see a cat in a fit? That was the professor just then, so
+Nate said. He tried to wave his sprained wrists and couldn't; tried to
+stamp his foot and found it too lame. But his eyeglasses flashed sparks
+and his tongue spit fire.
+
+"'Are you goin' to start that machine?' he screams at the blue-white,
+shaky Augustus.
+
+"'No, Professor Dixland,' stammers Gus. 'No, sir, I'm sorry, but--'
+
+"'Why don't you ask Mr. Scudder to make the experiment, uncle?' suggests
+that confounded niece, smilin' the spitefullest smile.
+
+"'Scudder,' says the professor, 'I'll give you five thousand dollars
+cash to start in that aeroplane this moment.'
+
+"For a jiffy Nate was staggered. Five thousand dollars CASH--whew! But
+then he thought of how deep Gus had been shoved into that sandbank.
+And there was a new and more powerful motor aboard the thing now. Five
+thousand dollars ain't much good to a telescoped corpse. He fetched a
+long breath.
+
+"'Well, now, Mr. Dixland,' he says, 'I'd like to, fust rate, but you see
+I don't know nothin' about mechanics.'
+
+"'Professor--' begins Augustus. 'Twas the final straw. Old Whiskers
+jumped out of the chair, lameness and all.
+
+"'Out of this house, you ingrate!' he bellers. 'Out this instant! I
+discharge you. Go! go!'
+
+"He was actually frothin' at the mouth. I cal'late Olivia thought he was
+goin' to die, for she run to him.
+
+"'You'd better go, I think,' says she to her shakin' beau. 'Go, dear,
+now. I must stay with him for the present, but we will see each other
+soon. Go now, and trust me.'
+
+"'I disown you, you ungrateful girl,' foams her uncle. 'Scudder, I order
+you to put that--that creature off this island.'
+
+"'Yes, sir,' says Nate, polite; 'in about two shakes of a heifer's
+tail.'
+
+"He started for Augustus, and Gus started for the door. I guess Olivia
+might have interfered, but just then the professor keels over in a kind
+of faint and she had to tend to him. Gus darts out of the door with Nate
+after him. Scudder reached the beach just as his nephew was shovin' off
+in the boat, bound for the mainland.
+
+"'Consarn your empty head!' Nate yelled after him. 'See what you get by
+not mindin' me, don't you? I'm runnin' things on this island after this.
+I'm boss here; understand? When you're ready to sign a paper deedin'
+over ha'f that money your wife's goin' to get to me and Huldy Ann, maybe
+I'll let you come back. And perhaps then I'll square things for you with
+Dixland. But if you dare to set foot on these premises until then I'll
+murder you; I'll drown you; I'll cut you up for bait; I'll feed you to
+the dog.'
+
+"He sculled off, his oars rattlin' 'Hark from the tomb' in the rowlocks.
+He b'lieved Nate meant it all. Oh, Scudder had HIM trained all right."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VII
+
+CAPTAIN SOL DECIDES TO MOVE
+
+
+"Trust Nate for that," interrupted Wingate. "He's just as much a born
+bully as he is a cheat and a skinflint."
+
+"Yup," went on Captain Sol. "Well, when Nate got back to the house the
+professor was alone in the chair, lookin' sick and weak. Olivia was up
+in her room havin' a cryin' fit. Nate got the old man to bed, made him
+some clam soup and hot tea, and fetched and carried for him like he was
+a baby. The professor's talk was mainly about the ungrateful desertion,
+as he called it, of his assistant.
+
+"'Keep him away from this island,' he says. 'If he comes, I shall commit
+murder; I know it.'
+
+"Scudder promised that Augustus shouldn't come back. The professor
+wanted guard kept night and day. Nate said he didn't know's he could
+afford so much time, and Dixland doubled his wages on the spot. So Nate
+agreed to stand double watches, made him comfort'ble for the night, and
+left him.
+
+"Olivia didn't come downstairs again. She didn't seem to want any
+supper, but Nate did and had it, a good one. Galileo, the cat, came
+yowlin' around, and Nate kicked him under the sofy. Phillips Brooks
+was howlin' starvation in the woodshed, and Scudder let him howl. If
+he starved to death Nate wouldn't put no flowers on his grave. Take it
+altogether, he was havin' a fairly good time.
+
+"And when, later on, he set alone up in his room over the kitchen, he
+begun to have a better one. Prospects looked good. Maybe old Dixland
+WOULD disown his niece. If he did, Nate figgered he was as healthy a
+candidate for adoption as anybody. And Augustus would have to come to
+terms or stay single. That is, unless him and Olivia got married on
+nothin' a week, paid yearly. Nate guessed Huldy Ann would think he'd
+managed pretty well.
+
+"He set there for a long while, thinkin', and then he says he cal'lates
+he must have dozed off. At any rate, next thing he knew he was settin'
+up straight in his chair, listenin'. It seemed to him that he'd heard a
+sound in the kitchen underneath.
+
+"He looked out of the window, and right away he noticed somethin'. 'Twas
+a beautiful, clear moonlight night, and the high board fence around the
+buildin's showed black against the white sand. And in that white
+strip was a ten-foot white gape. Nate had shut that gate afore he went
+upstairs. Who'd opened it? Then he heard the noise in the kitchen again.
+Somebody was talkin' down there.
+
+"Nate got up and tiptoed acrost the room. He was in his stockin' feet,
+so he didn't make a sound. He reached into the corner and took out his
+old duck gun. It was loaded, both barrels. Nate cocked the gun and crept
+down the back stairs.
+
+"There was a lamp burnin' low on the kitchen table, and there, in a
+couple of chairs hauled as close together as they could be, set
+that Olivia niece and Augustus. They was in a clove hitch again and
+whisperin' soft and slushy.
+
+"My! but Scudder was b'ilin'! He give one jump and landed in the middle
+of that kitchen floor.
+
+"'You--you--you!' he yelled, wavin' the shotgun. 'You're back here, are
+you? You know what I told you I'd do to you? Well, now, I'll do it.'
+
+"The pair of 'em had jumped about as far as Nate had, only the opposite
+way. Augustus was a paralyzed statue, but Olivia had her senses with
+her.
+
+"'Run, Augustus!' she screamed. 'He'll shoot you. Run!'
+
+"And then, with a screech like a siren whistle, Augustus commenced to
+run. Nate was between him and the outside door, so he bolted headfirst
+into the dining room. And after him went Nate Scudder, so crazy mad he
+didn't know what he was doin'.
+
+"'Twas pitch dark in the dining room, but through it they went rattlety
+bang! dishes smashin', chairs upsettin' and 'hurrah, boys!' to pay
+gen'rally. Then through the best parlor and into the front hall.
+
+"I cal'late Nate would have had him at the foot of the front stairs if
+it hadn't been for Galileo. That cat had been asleep on the sofy, and
+the noise and hullabaloo had stirred him up till he was as crazy as the
+rest of 'em. He run right under Nate's feet and down went Nate sprawlin'
+and both barrels of the shotgun bust loose like a couple of cannon.
+
+"Galileo took for tall timber, whoopin' anthems. Up them front stairs
+went Augustus, screechin' shrill, like a woman; he was SURE Nate meant
+to murder him now. And after him his uncle went on all fours, swearin'
+tremendous.
+
+"Then 'twas through one bedroom after another, and each one more crowded
+with noisy, smashable things than that previous. Nate said he could
+remember the professor roarin' 'Fire!' and 'Help!' as the two of 'em
+bumped into his bed, but they didn't stop--they was too busy. The whole
+length of the house upstairs they traveled, then through the ell, then
+the woodshed loft, and finally out into the upper story of the barn. And
+there Nate knew he had him. The ladder was down.
+
+"'Now!' says Nate. 'Now, you long-legged villain, if I don't give you
+what's comin' to you, then--Oh, there ain't no use in your climbin' out
+there; you can't get down.'
+
+"The big barn doors was open, and, in the moonlight, Nate could see
+Gus scramblin' up and around on the flyin' stage where the professor's
+aeroplane was perched, lookin' like some kind of magnified June bug.
+
+"'Come back, you fool!' Scudder yelled at him. 'Come back and be
+butchered. You might as well; it's too high for you to drop. You won't?
+Then I'll come after you.'
+
+"Nate says he never shall forget Augustus's face in the blue light when
+he see his uncle climbin' out on that stage after him. He was simply
+desperate--that's it, desperate. And the next thing he did was jump into
+the saddle of the machine and pull the startin' lever.
+
+"There was the buzz of the electric motor, a slippery, slidin' sound,
+one awful hair-raisin' whoop from Augustus, and then--'F-s-s-s-t!'--down
+the flyin' stage whizzed that aeroplane and out through the doors.
+
+"Nate set down on the trestles and waited for the sound of the smash.
+I guess he actually felt conscience stricken. Of course, he'd only done
+his duty, and yet--
+
+"But no smash came. Instead, there was a long scream from the
+kitchen--Olivia's voice that was. And then another yell that for pure
+joy beat anything ever heard.
+
+"'It flies!' screamed Professor Ansel Hobart Whiskers Dixland, from his
+bedroom window. 'At last! At last! It FLIES!'
+
+"It took Nate some few minutes to paw his way back through the shed loft
+and the ell over the things him and Gus knocked down on the fust lap,
+until he got to his room where the trouble had started. Then he went
+down to the kitchen and outdoor.
+
+"Olivia, a heavenly sort of look on her face, was standin' in the
+moonlight, with her hands clasped, lookin' up at the sky.
+
+"'It flies!' says she, in a kind of whisper over and over again. 'Oh! it
+FLIES!'
+
+"Alongside of her was old Dixland, wrapped in a bedquilt, forgettin' all
+about sprains and lameness; and he likewise was staring at the sky and
+sayin' over and over:
+
+"'It flies! It really FLIES!'
+
+"And Nate looked up, and there, scootin' around in circles, now up high
+and now down low, tippin' this way and tippin' that, was that aeroplane.
+And in the stillness you could hear the buzz of the motor and the yells
+of Augustus.
+
+"Down flopped Scudder in the sand. 'Great land of love,' he says, 'it
+FLIES!'
+
+"Well, for five minutes or so they watched that thing swoop and duck and
+sail up there overhead. And then, slow and easy as a feather in a May
+breeze, down she flutters and lands soft on a hummock a little ways off.
+And that Augustus--a fool for luck--staggers out of it safe and sound,
+and sets down and begins to cry.
+
+"The fust thing to reach him was Olivia. She grabbed him around the
+neck, and you never heard such goin's on as them two had. Nate come
+hurryin' up.
+
+"'Here you!' he says, pullin' 'em apart. 'That's enough of this. And
+you,' he adds to Gus, 'clear right out off this island. I won't make
+shark bait of you this time, but--'
+
+"And then comes Dixland, hippity-hop over the hummocks. 'My noble boy!'
+he sings out, fallin' all of a heap onto Augustus's round shoulders. 'My
+noble boy! My hero!'
+
+"Nate looked on for a full minute with his mouth open. Olivia went away
+toward the house. The professor and Gus was sheddin' tears like a couple
+of waterin' pots.
+
+"'Come! come!' says Scudder finally; 'get up, Mr. Dixland; you'll catch
+cold. Now then, you Tolliver, toddle right along to your boat. Don't you
+worry, professor, I'll fix him so's he won't come here no more.'
+
+"But the professor turned on him like a flash.
+
+"'How dare you interfere?' says he. 'I forgive him everything. He is a
+hero. Why, man, he FLEW!'
+
+"Olivia came up behind and touched Nate on the shoulders. 'Don't
+you think you'd better go, Mr. Scudder?' she purred. 'I've unchained
+Phillips Brooks.'
+
+"Nate swears he never made better time than he done gettin' to the shore
+and the boat Augustus had come over in. But that philanthropist dog only
+missed the supper he'd been waitin' for by about a foot and a half, even
+as 'twas.
+
+"And that was the end of it, fur's Nate was concerned. Olivia was boss
+from then on, and Scudder wa'n't allowed to land on his own island. And
+pretty soon they all went away, flyin' machine and all, and now Gus and
+Olivia are married."
+
+"Well, by gum!" cried Wingate. "Say, that must have broke Nate's heart
+completely. All that good money goin' to the poor. Ha! ha!"
+
+"Yes," said Captain Sol, with a broad grin. "Nate told me that every
+time he realized that Gus's flyin' at all was due to his scarin' him
+into it, it fairly made him sick of life."
+
+"What did Huldy Ann say? I'll bet the fur flew when SHE heard of it!"
+
+"I guess likely it did. Scudder says her jawin's was the worst of all.
+Her principal complaint was that he didn't take up with the professor's
+five-thousand offer and try to fly. 'What if 'twas risky?' she says.
+'If anything happened to you the five thousand would have come to your
+heirs, wouldn't it? But no! you never think of no one but yourself.'"
+
+Mr. Wingate glanced at his watch. "Good land!" he cried, "I didn't
+realize 'twas so late. I must trot along down and meet Stitt. He and I
+are goin' to corner the clam market."
+
+"I must be goin', too," said the depot master, rising and moving toward
+the door, picking up his cap on the way. He threw open the door and
+exclaimed, "Hello! here's Sim. What you got on your mind, Sim?"
+
+Mr. Phinney looked rather solemn. "I wanted to speak with you a minute,
+Sol," he began. "Hello! Barzilla, I didn't know you was here."
+
+"I shan't be here but one second longer," replied Mr. Wingate, as he and
+Phinney shook hands. "I'm late already. Bailey'll think I ain't comin'.
+Good-by, boys. See you this afternoon, maybe."
+
+"Yes, do," cried Berry, as his guest hurried down to the gate. "I want
+to hear about those automobiles over your way. You ain't bought one,
+have you, Barzilla?"
+
+Wingate grinned over his shoulder. "No," he called, "I ain't. But other
+folks you know have. It's the biggest joke on earth. You and Sim'll want
+to hear it."
+
+He waved a big hand and walked briskly up the Shore Road. The depot
+master turned to his friend.
+
+"Well, Sim?" he asked.
+
+"Well, Sol," answered the building mover gravely, "I've just met Mr.
+Hilton, the minister, and he told me somethin' about Olive Edwards,
+somethin' I thought you'd want to know. You said for me to find out what
+she was cal'latin' to do when she had to give up her home and--"
+
+"I know what I said," interrupted the depot master rather sharply. "What
+did Hilton say?"
+
+"Mr. Hilton told me not to tell," continued Phinney, "and I shan't tell
+nobody but you, Sol. I know you wont t mention it. The minister says
+that Olive's hard up as she can be. All she's got in the world is the
+little furniture and store stuff in her house. The store stuff don't
+amount to nothin', but the furniture belonged to her pa and ma, and she
+set a heap by it. Likewise, as everybody knows, she's awful proud and
+self-respectin'. Anything like charity would kill her. Now out West--in
+Omaha or somewheres--she's got a cousin who owed her dad money. Old
+Cap'n Seabury lent this Omaha man two or three thousand dollars and set
+him up in business. Course, the debt's outlawed, but Olive don't
+realize that, or, if she did, it wouldn't count with her. She couldn't
+understand how law would have any effect on payin' money you honestly
+owe. She's written to the Omaha cousin, tellin' him what a scrape she's
+in and askin' him to please, if convenient, let her have a thousand or
+so on account. She figgers if she gets that, she can go to Bayport or
+Orham or somewheres and open another notion store."
+
+Captain Berry lit a cigar. "Hum!" he said, after a minute. "You say
+she's written to this chap. Has she got an answer yet?"
+
+"No, not any definite one. She heard from the man's wife sayin' that her
+husband--the cousin--had gone on a fishin' trip somewheres up in Canady
+and wouldn't be back afore the eighth of next month. Soon's he does come
+he'll write her. But Mr. Hilton thinks, and so do I--havin' heard a
+few things about this cousin--that it's mighty doubtful if he sends any
+money."
+
+"Yes, I shouldn't wonder. Where's Olive goin' to stay while she's
+waitin' to hear?"
+
+"In her own house. Mr. Hilton went to Williams and pleaded with him, and
+he finally agreed to let her stay there until the 'Colonial' is moved
+onto the lot. Then the Edwardses house'll be tore down and Olive'll have
+to go, of course."
+
+The depot master puffed thoughtfully at his cigar.
+
+"She won't hear before the tenth, at the earliest," he said. "And if
+Williams begins to move his 'Colonial' at once, he'll get it to her lot
+by the seventh, sure. Have you given him your figures for the job?"
+
+"Handed 'em in this very mornin'. One of his high-and-mighty servants,
+all brass buttons and braid, like a feller playin' in the band, took my
+letter and condescended to say he'd pass it on to Williams. I'd liked
+to have kicked the critter, just to see if he COULD unbend; but I jedged
+'twouldn't be good business."
+
+"Probably not. If the 'Colonial' gets to Olive's lot afore she hears
+from the Omaha man, what then?"
+
+"Well, that's the worst of it. The minister don't know what she'll do.
+There's plenty of places where she'd be more'n welcome to visit a spell,
+but she's too proud to accept. Mr. Hilton's afraid she'll start for
+Boston to hunt up a job, or somethin'. You know how much chance she
+stands of gettin' a job that's wuth anything."
+
+Phinney paused, anxiously awaiting his companion's reply. When it came
+it was very unsatisfactory.
+
+"I'm goin' to the depot," said the Captain, brusquely. "So long, Sim."
+
+He slammed the door of the house behind him, strode to the gate, flung
+it open, and marched on. Simeon gazed in astonishment, then hurried
+to overtake him. Ranging alongside, he endeavored to reopen the
+conversation, but to no purpose. The depot master would not talk. They
+turned into Cross Street.
+
+"Well!" exclaimed Mr. Phinney, panting from his unaccustomed hurry,
+"what be we, runnin' a race? Why! . . . Oh, how d'ye do, Mr. Williams,
+sir? Want to see me, do you?"
+
+The magnate of East Harniss stepped forward.
+
+"Er--Phinney," he said, "I want a moment of your time. Morning, Berry."
+
+"Mornin', Williams," observed Captain Sol brusquely. "All right, Sim.
+I'll wait for you farther on."
+
+He continued his walk. The building mover stood still. Mr. Williams
+frowned with lofty indignation.
+
+"Phinney," he said, "I've just looked over those figures of yours, your
+bid for moving my new house. The price is ridiculous."
+
+Simeon attempted a pleasantry. "Yes," he answered, "I thought 'twas
+ridic'lous myself; but I needed the money, so I thought I could afford
+to be funny."
+
+The Williams frown deepened.
+
+"I didn't mean ridiculously low," he snapped; "I meant ridiculously
+high. I'd rather help out you town fellows if I can, but you can't work
+me for a good thing. I've written to Colt and Adams, of Boston, and
+accepted their offer. You had your chance and didn't see fit to take it.
+That's all. I'm sorry."
+
+Simeon was angry; also a trifle skeptical.
+
+"Mr. Williams," he demanded, "do you mean to tell me that THEM people
+have agreed to move you cheaper'n I can?"
+
+"Their price--their actual price may be no lower; but considering their
+up-to-date outfit and--er--progressive methods, they're cheaper. Yes.
+Morning, Phinney."
+
+He turned on his heel and walked off. Mr. Phinney, crestfallen and
+angrier than ever, moved on to where the depot master stood waiting for
+him. Captain Sol smiled grimly.
+
+"You don't look merry as a Christmas tree, Sim," he observed. "What did
+his Majesty have to say to you?"
+
+Simeon related the talk with Williams. The depot master's grim smile
+grew broader.
+
+"Sim," he asked, with quiet sarcasm, "don't you realize that progressive
+methods are necessary in movin' a house?"
+
+Phinney tried to smile in return, but the attempt was a failure.
+
+"Yes," went on the Captain. "Well, if you can't take the Grand
+Panjandrum home, you can set on the fence and see him go by. That
+ought to be honor enough, hadn't it? However, I may need some of your
+ridiculous figgers on a movin' job of my own, pretty soon. Don't be TOO
+comical, will you?"
+
+"What do you mean by that, Sol Berry?"
+
+"I mean that I may decide to move my own house."
+
+"Move your OWN house? Where to, for mercy sakes?"
+
+"To that lot on Main Street that belongs to Abner Payne. Abner has
+wanted to buy my lot here on the Shore Road for a long time. He knows
+it'll make a fine site for some rich bigbug's summer 'cottage.' He would
+have bought the house, too, but I think too much of that to sell it.
+Now Abner's come back with another offer. He'll swap my lot for the Main
+Street one, pay my movin' expenses and a fair 'boot' besides. He don't
+really care for my HOUSE, you understand; it's my LAND he's after."
+
+"Are you goin' to take it up?"
+
+"I don't know. The Main Street lot's a good one, and my house'll look
+good on it. And I'll make money by the deal."
+
+"Yes, but you've always swore by that saltwater view of yours. Told me
+yourself you never wanted to live anywheres else."
+
+Captain Sol took the cigar from his lips, looked at it, then threw it
+violently into the gutter.
+
+"What difference does it make where I live?" he snarled. "Who in blazes
+cares where I live or whether I live at all?"
+
+"Sol Berry, what on airth--"
+
+"Shut up! Let me alone, Sim! I ain't fit company for anybody just now.
+Clear out, there's a good feller."
+
+The next moment he was striding down the hill. Mr. Phinney drew a long
+breath, scratched his head and shook it solemnly. WHAT did it all mean?
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII
+
+THE OBLIGATIONS OF A GENTLEMAN
+
+
+The methods of Messrs. Colt and Adams, the Boston firm of building
+movers, were certainly progressive, if promptness in getting to work
+is any criterion. Two days after the acceptance of their terms by Mr.
+Williams, a freight car full of apparatus arrived at East Harniss. Then
+came a foreman and a gang of laborers. Horses were hired, and within a
+week the "pure Colonial" was off its foundations and on its way to the
+Edwards lot. The moving was no light task. The big house must be brought
+along the Shore Road to the junction with the Hill Boulevard, then swung
+into that aristocratic highway and carried up the long slope, around the
+wide curve, to its destination.
+
+Mr. Phinney, though he hated the whole operation, those having it in
+charge, and the mighty Williams especially, could not resist stealing
+down to see how his successful rivals were progressing with the work
+he had hoped to do. It caused him much chagrin to see that they were
+getting on so very well. One morning, after breakfast, as he stood at
+the corner of the Boulevard and the Shore Road, he found himself engaged
+in a mental calculation.
+
+Three days more and they would swing into the Boulevard; four or five
+days after that and they would be abreast the Edwards lot. Another day
+and . . . Poor Olive! She would be homeless. Where would she go? It
+was too early for a reply from the Omaha cousin, but Simeon, having
+questioned the minister, had little hope that that reply would be
+favorable. Still it was a chance, and if the money SHOULD come before
+the "pure Colonial" reached the Edwards lot, then the widow would at
+least not be driven penniless from her home. She would have to leave
+that home in any event, but she could carry out her project of opening
+another shop in one of the neighboring towns. Otherwise . . . Mr.
+Phinney swore aloud.
+
+"Humph!" said a voice behind him. "I agree with you, though I don't
+know what it's all about. I ain't heard anything better put for a long
+while."
+
+Simeon spun around, as he said afterwards, "like a young one's
+pinwheel." At his elbow stood Captain Berry, the depot master, hands
+in pockets, cigar in mouth, the personification of calmness and
+imperturbability. He had come out of his house, which stood close to the
+corner, and walked over to join his friend.
+
+"Land of love!" exclaimed Simeon. "Why don't you scare a fellow to
+death, tiptoein' around? I never see such a cat-foot critter!"
+
+Captain Sol smiled. "Jumpin' it, ain't they?" he said, nodding toward
+the "Colonial." "Be there by the tenth, won't it?"
+
+"Tenth!" Mr. Phinney sniffed disgust. "It'll be there by the sixth, or I
+miss my guess."
+
+"Yup. Say, Sim, how soon could you land that shanty of mine in the road
+if I give you the job to move it?"
+
+"I couldn't get it up to the Main Street lot inside of a fortnight,"
+replied Sim, after a moment's reflection. "Fur's gettin' it in the road
+goes, I could have it here day after to-morrow if I had gang enough."
+
+The depot master took the cigar out of his mouth and blew a ring of
+smoke. "All right," he drawled, "get gang enough."
+
+Phinney jumped. "You mean you've decided to take up with Payne's offer
+and swap your lot for his?" he gasped. "Why, only two or three days ago
+you said--"
+
+"Ya-as. That was two or three days ago, and I've been watchin' the
+'Colonial' since. I cal'late the movin' habit's catchin'. You have your
+gang here by noon to-day."
+
+"Sol Berry, are you crazy? You ain't seen Abner Payne; he's out of
+town--"
+
+"Don't have to see him. He's made me an offer and I'll write and accept
+it."
+
+"But you've got to have a selectmen's permit to move--"
+
+"Got it. I went up and saw the chairman an hour ago. He's a friend of
+mine. I nominated him town-meetin' day."
+
+"But," stammered Phinney, very much upset by the suddenness of it all,
+"you ain't got my price nor--"
+
+"Drat your price! Give it when I ask it. See here, Sim, are you goin' to
+have my house in the middle of the road by day after to-morrer? Or was
+that just talk?"
+
+"'Twa'n't talk. I can have it there, but--"
+
+"All right," said Captain Sol coolly, "then have it."
+
+Hands in pockets, he strolled away. Simeon sat down on a rock by the
+roadside and whistled.
+
+However, whistling was a luxurious and time-wasting method of expressing
+amazement, and Mr. Phinney could not afford luxuries just then. For the
+rest of that day he was a busy man. As Bailey Stitt expressed it, he
+"flew round like a sand flea in a mitten," hiring laborers, engaging
+masons, and getting his materials ready. That very afternoon the masons
+began tearing down the chimneys of the little Berry house. Before the
+close of the following day it was on the rollers. By two of the day
+after that it was in the middle of the Shore Road, just when its mover
+had declared it should be. They were moving it, furniture and all,
+and Captain Sol was, as he said, going to "stay right aboard all the
+voyage." No cooking could be done, of course, but the Captain arranged
+to eat at Mrs. Higgins's hospitable table during the transit. His sudden
+freak was furnishing material for gossip throughout the village, but he
+did not care. Gossip concerning his actions was the last thing in the
+world to trouble Captain Sol Berry.
+
+The Williams's "Colonial" was moving toward the corner at a rapid
+rate, and the foreman of the Boston moving firm walked over to see Mr.
+Phinney.
+
+"Say," he observed to Simeon, who, the perspiration streaming down
+his face, was resting for a moment before recommencing his labor of
+arranging rollers; "say," observed the foreman, "we'll be ready to turn
+into the Boulevard by tomorrer night and you're blockin' the way."
+
+"That's all right," said Simeon, "we'll be past the Boulevard corner by
+that time."
+
+He thought he was speaking the truth, but next morning, before work
+began, Captain Berry appeared. He had had breakfast and strolled around
+to the scene of operations.
+
+"Well," asked Phinney, "how'd it seem to sleep on wheels?"
+
+"Tiptop," replied the depot master. "Like it fust rate. S'pose my next
+berth will be somewheres up there, won't it?"
+
+He was pointing around the corner instead of straight ahead. Simeon
+gaped, his mouth open.
+
+"Up THERE?" he cried. "Why, of course not. That's the Boulevard. We're
+goin' along the Shore Road."
+
+"That so? I guess not. We're goin' by the Boulevard. Can go that way,
+can't we?"
+
+"Can?" repeated Simeon aghast. "Course we CAN! But it's like boxin' the
+whole compass backward to get ha'f a p'int east of no'th. It's way round
+Robin Hood's barn. It'll take twice as long and cost--"
+
+"That's good," interrupted the Captain. "I like to travel, and I'm
+willin' to pay for it. Think of the view I'll get on the way."
+
+"But your permit from the selectmen--" began Phinney. Berry held up his
+hand.
+
+"My permit never said nothin' about the course to take," he answered,
+his eye twinkling just a little. "There, Sim, you're wastin' time. I
+move by the Hill Boulevard."
+
+And into the Boulevard swung the Berry house. The Colt and Adams foreman
+was an angry man when he saw the beams laid in that direction. He rushed
+over and asked profane and pointed questions.
+
+"Thought you said you was goin' straight ahead?" he demanded.
+
+"Thought I was," replied Simeon, "but, you see, I'm only navigator of
+this craft, not owner."
+
+"Where is the blankety blank?" asked the foreman.
+
+"If you're referrin' to Cap'n Berry, I cal'late you'll find him at
+the depot," answered Phinney. To the depot went the foreman. Receiving
+little satisfaction there, he hurried to the home of his employer, Mr.
+Williams. The magnate, red-faced and angry, returned with him to
+the station. Captain Sol received them blandly. Issy, who heard the
+interview which followed, declared that the depot master was so cool
+that "an iceberg was a bonfire 'longside of him." Issy's description
+of this interview, given to a dozen townspeople within the next three
+hours, was as follows:
+
+"Mr. Williams," said the wide-eyed Issy, "he comes postin' into the
+waitin' room, his foreman with him. Williams marches over to Cap'n Sol
+and he says, 'Berry,' he says, 'are you responsible for the way that
+house of yours is moved?'
+
+"Cap'n Sol bowed and smiled. 'Yes,' says he, sweet as a fresh scallop.
+
+"'You're movin' it to Main Street, aren't you? I so understood.'
+
+"'You understood correct. That's where she's bound.'
+
+"'Then what do you mean by turning out of your road and into mine?'
+
+"'Oh, I don't own any road. Have you bought the Boulevard? The selectmen
+ought to have told us that. I s'posed it was town thoroughfare.'
+
+"Mr. Williams colored up a little. 'I didn't mean my road in that
+sense,' he says. 'But the direct way to Main Street is along the
+shore, and everybody knows it. Now why do you turn from that into the
+Boulevard?'
+
+"Cap'n Sol took a cigar from his pocket. 'Have one?' says he, passin' it
+toward Mr. Williams. 'No? Too soon after breakfast, I s'pose. Why do
+I turn off?' he goes on. 'Well, I'll tell you. I'm goin' to stay right
+aboard my shack while it's movin', and it's so much pleasanter a ride up
+the hill that I thought I'd go that way. I always envied them who could
+afford a house on the Boulevard, and now I've got the chance to have one
+there--for a spell. I'm sartin I shall enjoy it.'
+
+"The foreman growled, disgusted. Mr. Williams got redder yet.
+
+"'Don't you understand?' he snorts. 'You're blockin' the way of the
+house I'M movin'. I have capable men with adequate apparatus to move
+it, and they would be able to go twice as fast as your one-horse country
+outfit. You're blockin' the road. Now they must follow you. It's an
+outrage!'
+
+"Cap'n Sol smiled once more. 'Too bad,' says he. 'It's a pity such
+a nice street ain't wider. If it was my street in my town--I b'lieve
+that's what you call East Harniss, ain't it?--seems to me I'd widen it.'
+
+"The boss of 'my town' ground his heel into the sand. 'Berry,' he snaps,
+'are you goin' to move that house over the Boulevard ahead of mine?'
+
+"The Cap'n looked him square in the eye. 'Williams,' says he, 'I am.'
+
+"The millionaire turned short and started to go.
+
+"'You'll pay for it,' he snarls, his temper gettin' free at last.
+
+"'I cal'late to,' purrs the Cap'n. 'I gen'rally do pay for what I want,
+and a fair price, at that. I never bought in cheap mortgages and held
+'em for clubs over poor folks, never in my life. Good mornin'.'
+
+"And right to Mr. Williams's own face, too," concluded Issy. "WHAT do
+you think of that?"
+
+Here was defiance of authority and dignity, a sensation which should
+have racked East Harniss from end to end. But most of the men in the
+village, the tradespeople particularly, had another matter on their
+minds, namely, Major Cuthbertson Scott Hardee, of "Silverleaf Hall." The
+Major and his debts were causing serious worriment.
+
+The creditors of the Major met, according to agreement, on the Monday
+evening following their previous gathering at the club. Obed Gott, one
+of the first to arrive, greeted his fellow members with an air of gloomy
+triumph and a sort of condescending pity.
+
+Higgins, the "general store" keeper, acting as self-appointed chairman,
+asked if anyone had anything to report. For himself, he had seen the
+Major and asked point-blank for payment of his bill. The Major had been
+very polite and was apparently much concerned that his fellow townsmen
+should have been inconvenienced by any neglect of his. He would write to
+his attorneys at once, so he said.
+
+"He said a whole lot more, too," added Higgins. "Said he had never been
+better served than by the folks in this town, and that I kept a fine
+store, and so on and so forth. But I haven't got any money yet. Anybody
+else had any better luck?"
+
+No one had, although several had had similar interviews with the master
+of "Silverleaf Hall."
+
+"Obed looks as if he knew somethin'," remarked Weeks. "What is it,
+Obed?"
+
+Mr. Gott scornfully waved his hand.
+
+"You fellers make me laugh," he said. "You talk and talk, but you don't
+do nothin'. I b'lieve in doin', myself. When I went home t'other night,
+thinks I: 'There's one man that might know somethin' 'bout old Hardee,
+and that's Godfrey, the hotel man.' So I wrote to Godfrey up to Boston
+and I got a letter from him. Here 'tis."
+
+He read the letter aloud. Mr. Godfrey wrote that he knew nothing about
+Major Hardee further than that he had been able to get nothing from him
+in payment for his board.
+
+"So I seized his trunk," the letter concluded. "There was nothing in it
+worth mentioning, but I took it on principle. The Major told me a
+lot about writing to his attorneys for money, but I didn't pay much
+attention to that. I'm afraid he's an old fraud, but I can't help liking
+him, and if I had kept on running my hotel I guess he would have got
+away scot-free."
+
+"There!" exclaimed the triumphant Obed, with a sneer, "I guess that
+settles it, don't it? Maybe you'd be willin' to turn your bills over to
+Squire Baker now."
+
+But they were not willing. Higgins argued, and justly, that although the
+Major was in all probability a fraud, not even a lawyer could get water
+out of a stone, and that when a man had nothing, suing him was a waste
+of time and cash.
+
+"Besides," he said, "there's just a chance that he may have attorneys
+and property somewheres else. Let's write him a letter and every one of
+us sign it, tellin' him that we'll call on him Tuesday night expectin'
+to be paid in full. If we call and don't get any satisfaction, why,
+we ain't any worse off, and then we can--well, run him out of town, if
+nothin' more."
+
+So the letter was written and signed by every man there. It was a long
+list of signatures and an alarming total of indebtedness. The letter was
+posted that night.
+
+The days that followed seemed long to Obed. He was ill-natured at home
+and ugly at the shop, and Polena declared that he was "gettin' so a body
+couldn't live with him." Her own spirits were remarkably high, and Obed
+noticed that, as the days went by, she seemed to be unusually excited.
+On Thursday she announced that she was going to Orham to visit her
+niece, one Sarah Emma Cahoon, and wouldn't be back right off. He knew
+better than to object, and so she went.
+
+That evening each of the signers of the letter to Major Hardee received
+a courteous note saying that the Major would be pleased to receive the
+gentlemen at the Hall. Nothing was said about payment.
+
+So, after some discussion, the creditors marched in procession across
+the fields and up to "Silverleaf Hall."
+
+"Hardee's been to Orham to-day," whispered the keeper of the livery
+stable, as they entered the yard. "He drove over this mornin' and come
+back to-night."
+
+"DROVE over!" exclaimed Obed, halting in his tracks. "He did? Where'd he
+get the team? I'll bet five dollars you was soft enough to let him have
+it, and never said a word. Well, if you ain't--By jimmy! you wait till I
+get at him! I'll show you that he can't soft soap me."
+
+Augustus met them at the door and ushered them into the old-fashioned
+parlor. The Major, calm, cool, and imperturbably polite, was waiting to
+receive them. He made some observation concerning the weather.
+
+"The day's fine enough," interrupted Obed, pushing to the front, "but
+that ain't what we come here to talk about. Are you goin' to pay us what
+you owe? That's what we want to know."
+
+The "gentleman of the old school" did not answer immediately. Instead he
+turned to the solemn servant at his elbow.
+
+"Augustus," he said, "you may make ready." Then, looking serenely at the
+irate Mr. Gott, whose clenched fist rested under the center table, which
+he had thumped to emphasize his demands, the Major asked:
+
+"I beg your pardon, my dear sir, but what is the total of my
+indebtedness to you?"
+
+"Nineteen dollars and twenty-eight cents, and I want you to understand
+that--"
+
+Major Hardee held up a slim, white hand.
+
+"One moment, if you please," he said. "Now, Augustus."
+
+Augustus opened the desk in the corner and produced an imposing stack of
+bank notes. Then he brought forth neat piles of halves, quarters, dimes,
+and pennies, and arranged the whole upon the table. Obed's mouth and
+those of his companions gaped in amazement.
+
+"Have you your bill with you, Mr. Gott?" inquired the Major.
+
+Dazedly Mr. Gott produced the required document.
+
+"Thank you. Augustus, nineteen twenty-eight to this gentleman. Kindly
+receipt the bill, Mr. Gott, if you please. A mere formality, of course,
+but it is well to be exact. Thank you, sir. And now, Mr. Higgins."
+
+One by one the creditors shamefacedly stepped forward, received the
+amount due, receipted the bill, and stepped back again. Mr. Peters, the
+photographer, was the last to sign.
+
+"Gentlemen," said the Major, "I am sorry that my carelessness in
+financial matters should have caused you this trouble, but now that you
+are here, a representative gathering of East Harniss's men of affairs,
+upon this night of all nights, it seems fitting that I should ask for
+your congratulations. Augustus."
+
+The wooden-faced Augustus retired to the next room and reappeared
+carrying a tray upon which were a decanter and glasses.
+
+"Gentlemen," continued the Major, "I have often testified to my
+admiration and regard for your--perhaps I may now say OUR--charming
+village. This admiration and regard has extended to the fair daughters
+of the township. It may be that some of you have conscientious scruples
+against the use of intoxicants. These scruples I respect, but I am sure
+that none of you will refuse to at least taste a glass of wine with me
+when I tell you that I have this day taken one of the fairest to love
+and cherish during life."
+
+He stepped to the door of the dining room, opened it, and said quietly,
+"My dear, will you honor us with your presence?"
+
+There was a rustle of black silk and there came through the doorway the
+stately form of her who had been Mrs. Polena Ginn.
+
+"Gentlemen," said the Major, "permit me to present to you my wife, the
+new mistress of 'Silverleaf Hall.'"
+
+The faces of the ex-creditors were pictures of astonishment. Mr. Gott's
+expressive countenance turned white, then red, and then settled to a
+mottled shade, almost as if he had the measles. Polena rushed to his
+side.
+
+"O Obed!" she exclaimed. "I know we'd ought to have told you, but 'twas
+only Tuesday the Major asked me, and we thought we'd keep it a secret
+so's to s'prise you. Mr. Langworthy over to Orham married us, and--"
+
+"My dear," her husband blandly interrupted, "we will not intrude our
+private affairs upon the patience of these good friends. And now,
+gentlemen, let me propose a toast: To the health and happiness of the
+mistress of 'Silverleaf Hall'! Brother Obed, I--"
+
+The outside door closed with a slam; "Brother Obed" had fled.
+
+A little later, when the rest of the former creditors of the Major came
+out into the moonlight, they found their companion standing by the
+gate gazing stonily into vacancy. "Hen" Leadbetter, who, with Higgins,
+brought up the rear of the procession, said reflectively:
+
+"When he fust fetched out that stack of money I couldn't scarcely
+b'lieve my eyes. I begun to think that we fellers had put our foot in
+it for sartin, and had lost a mighty good customer; but, of course, it's
+all plain enough NOW."
+
+"Yes," remarked Weeks with a nod; "I allers heard that P'lena kept a
+mighty good balance in the bank."
+
+"It looks to me," said Higgins slyly, "as if we owed Obed here a vote of
+thanks. How 'bout that, Obed?"
+
+And then Major Hardee's new brother-in-law awoke with a jump.
+
+"Aw, you go to grass!" he snarled, and tramped savagely off down the
+hill.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IX
+
+THE WIDOW BASSETT
+
+
+These developments, Major Hardee's marriage and Mr. Gott's discomfiture,
+overshadowed, for the time, local interest in the depot master's house
+moving. This was, in its way, rather fortunate, for those who took the
+trouble to walk down to the lower end of the Boulevard were astonished
+to see how very slowly the moving was progressing.
+
+"Only one horse, Sim?" asked Captain Hiram Baker. "Only one! Why, it'll
+take you forever to get through, won't it?"
+
+"I'm afraid it'll take quite a spell," admitted Mr. Phinney.
+
+"Where's your other one, the white one?"
+
+"The white horse," said Simeon slowly, "ain't feelin' just right and
+I've had to lay him off."
+
+"Humph! that's too bad. How does Sol act about it? He's such a hustler,
+I should think--"
+
+"Sol," interrupted Sim, "ain't unreasonable. He understands."
+
+He chuckled inwardly as he said it. Captain Sol did understand. Also Mr.
+Phinney himself was beginning to understand a little.
+
+The very day on which Williams and his foreman had called on the depot
+master and been dismissed so unceremoniously, that official paid a short
+visit to his mover.
+
+"Sim," he said, the twinkle still in his eye, "his Majesty, Williams
+the Conqueror, was in to see me just now and acted real peevish. He was
+pretty disrespectful to you, too. Called your outfit 'one horse.' That's
+a mistake, because you've got two horses at work right now. It seems a
+shame to make a great man like that lie. Hadn't you better lay off one
+of them horses?"
+
+"Lay one OFF?" exclaimed Simeon. "What for? Why, we'll be slow enough,
+as 'tis. With only one horse we wouldn't get through for I don't know
+how long."
+
+"That's so," murmured the Captain. "I s'pose with one horse you'd hardly
+reach the middle of the Boulevard by--well, before the tenth of the
+month. Hey?"
+
+The tenth of the month! The TENTH! Why, it was on the tenth that that
+Omaha cousin of Olive Edwards was to--Mr. Phinney began to see--to see
+and to grin, slow but expansive.
+
+"Hm-m-m!" he mused.
+
+"Yes," observed Captain Sol. "That white horse of yours looks sort of
+ailin' to me, Sim. I think he needs a rest."
+
+And, sure enough, next day the white horse was pronounced unfit and
+taken back to the stable. The depot master's dwelling moved, but that is
+all one could say truthfully concerning its progress.
+
+At the depot the Captain was quieter than usual. He joked with his
+assistant less than had been his custom, and for the omission Issy
+was duly grateful. Sometimes Captain Sol would sit for minutes without
+speaking. He seemed to be thinking and to be pondering some grave
+problem. When his friends, Mr. Wingate, Captain Stitt, Hiram Baker, and
+the rest, dropped in on him he cheered up and was as conversational as
+ever. After they had gone he relapsed into his former quiet mood.
+
+"He acts sort of blue, to me," declared Issy, speaking from the depths
+of sensational-novel knowledge. "If he was a younger man I'd say he was
+most likely in love. Ah, hum! I s'pose bein' in love does get a feller
+mournful, don't it?"
+
+Issy made this declaration to his mother only. He knew better than to
+mention sentiment to male acquaintances. The latter were altogether too
+likely to ask embarrassing questions.
+
+Mr. Wingate and Captain Stitt were still in town, although their stay
+was drawing to a close. One afternoon they entered the station together.
+Captain Sol seemed glad to see them.
+
+"Set down, fellers," he ordered. "I swan I'm glad to see you. I ain't
+fit company for myself these days."
+
+"Ain't Betsy Higgins feedin' you up to the mark?" asked Stitt. "Or is
+house movin' gettin' on your vitals?"
+
+"No," growled the depot master, "grub's all right and so's movin',
+I cal'late. I'm glad you fellers come in. What's the news to Orham,
+Barzilla? How's the Old Home House boarders standin' it? Hear from
+Jonadab regular, do you?"
+
+Mr. Wingate laughed. "Nothin' much," he said. "Jonadab's too busy
+to write these days. Bein' a sport interferes with letter writing
+consider'ble."
+
+"Sport!" exclaimed Captain Bailey. "Land of Goshen! Cap'n Jonadab is the
+last one I'd call a sport."
+
+"That's 'cause you ain't a good judge of human nature, Bailey," chuckled
+Barzilla. "When ancient plants like Jonadab Wixon DO bloom, they're gay
+old blossoms, I tell you!"
+
+"What do you mean?" asked the depot master.
+
+"I mean that Jonadab's been givin' me heart disease, that's what; givin'
+it to me in a good many diff'rent ways, too. We opened the Old Home
+House the middle of April this year, because Peter T. Brown thought we
+might catch some spring trade. We did catch a little, though whether it
+paid to open up so early's a question. But 'twas June 'fore Jonadab got
+his disease so awful bad. However, most any time in the last part of May
+the reg'lar programme of the male boarders was stirrin' him up.
+
+"Take it of a dull day, for instance. Sky overcast and the wind aidgin'
+round to the sou'east, so's you couldn't tell whether 'twould rain or
+fair off; too cold to go off to the ledge cod fishin' and too hot for
+billiards or bowlin'; a bunch of the younger women folks at one end
+of the piazza playin' bridge; half a dozen men, includin' me and Cap'n
+Jonadab, smokin' and tryin' to keep awake at t'other end; amidships a
+gang of females--all 'fresh air fiends'--and mainly widows or discards
+in the matrimony deal, doin' fancywork and gossip. That would be about
+the usual layout.
+
+"Conversation got to you in homeopath doses, somethin' like this:
+
+"'Did you say "Spades"? WELL! if I'd known you were going to make us
+lose our deal like that, I'd never have bridged it--not with THIS hand.'
+
+"'Oh, Miss Gabble, have you heard what people are sayin' about--' The
+rest of it whispers.
+
+"'A--oo--OW! By George, Bill! this is dead enough, isn't it? Shall we
+match for the cigars or are you too lazy?'
+
+"Then, from away off in the stillness would come a drawn-out 'Honk!
+honk!' like a wild goose with the asthma, and pretty soon up the road
+would come sailin' a big red automobile, loaded to the guards with
+goggles and grandeur, and whiz past the hotel in a hurricane of dust and
+smell. Then all hands would set up and look interested, and Bill would
+wink acrost at his chum and drawl:
+
+"'That's the way to get over the country! Why, a horse isn't
+one--two--three with that! Cap'n Wixon, I'm surprised that a sportin'
+man like you hasn't bought one of those things long afore this.'
+
+"For the next twenty minutes there wouldn't be any dullness. Jonadab
+would take care of that. He'd have the floor and be givin' his opinions
+of autos and them that owned and run 'em. And between the drops of his
+language shower you'd see them boarders nudgin' each other and rockin'
+back and forth contented and joyful.
+
+"It always worked. No matter what time of day or night, all you had to
+say was 'auto' and Cap'n Jonadab would sail up out of his chair like one
+of them hot-air balloons the youngsters nowadays have on Fourth of July.
+And he wouldn't come down till he was empty of remarks, nuther. You
+never see a man get so red faced and eloquent.
+
+"It wa'n't because he couldn't afford one himself. I know that's the
+usual reason for them kind of ascensions, but 'twa'n't his. No, sir!
+the summer hotel business has put a considerable number of dollars in
+Jonadab's hands, and the said hands are like a patent rat trap, a
+mighty sight easier to get into than out of. He could have bought three
+automobiles if he'd wanted to, but he didn't want to. And the reason he
+didn't was named Tobias Loveland and lived over to Orham."
+
+"I know Tobias," interrupted Captain Bailey Stitt.
+
+"Course you do," continued Barzilla. "So does Sol, I guess. Well,
+anyhow, Tobias and Cap'n Jonadab never did hitch. When they was boys
+together at school they was always rowin' and fightin', and when they
+grew up to be thirty and courted the same girl--ten years younger than
+either of 'em, she was--twa'n't much better. Neither of 'em got her,
+as a matter of fact; she married a tin peddler named Bassett over to
+Hyannis. But both cal'lated they would have won if t'other hadn't been
+in the race, and consequently they loved each other with a love that
+passed understandin'. Tobias had got well to do in the cranberry-raisin'
+line and drove a fast horse. Jonadab, durin' the last prosperous year
+or two, had bought what he thought was some horse, likewise. They met
+on the road one day last spring and trotted alongside one another for a
+mile. At the end of that mile Jonadab's craft's jib boom was just astern
+of Tobias's rudder. Inside of that week the Cap'n had swapped his horse
+for one with a two-thirty record, and the next time they met Tobias was
+left with a beautiful, but dusty, view of Jonadab's back hair. So HE
+bought a new horse. And that was the beginnin'.
+
+"It went along that way for twelve months. Fust one feller's nag would
+come home freighted with perspiration and glory, and then t'other's. One
+week Jonadab would be so bloated with horse pride that he couldn't find
+room for his vittles, and the next he'd be out in the stable growlin'
+'cause it cost so much for hay to stuff an old hide rack that wa'n't
+fit to put in a museum. At last it got so that neither one could find a
+better horse on the Cape, and the two they had was practically an even
+match. I begun to have hopes that the foolishness was over. And then the
+tin peddler's widow drifts in to upset the whole calabash.
+
+"She made port at Orham fust, this Henrietta Bassett did, and the style
+she slung killed every female Goliath in the Orham sewin' circle dead.
+Seems her husband that was had been an inventor, as a sort of side line
+to peddlin' tinware, and all to once he invented somethin' that worked.
+He made money--nobody knew how much, though all hands had a guess--and
+pretty soon afterwards he made a will and Henrietta a widow. She'd been
+livin' in New York, so she said, and had come back to revisit the scenes
+of her childhood. She was a mighty well-preserved woman--artificial
+preservatives, I cal'late, like some kinds of tomatter ketchup--and her
+comin' stirred Orham way down to the burnt places on the bottom of the
+kettle."
+
+"I guess I remember HER, too," put in Captain Bailey.
+
+"Say!" queried Mr. Wingate snappishly, "do you want to tell about her?
+If you do, why--"
+
+"Belay, both of you!" ordered the depot master. "Heave ahead, Barzilla."
+
+"The news of her got over to Wellmouth, and me and Jonadab heard of it.
+He was some subject to widows--most widower men are, I guess--but he
+didn't develop no alarmin' symptoms in this case and never even hinted
+that he'd like to see his old girl. Fact is, his newest horse trade had
+showed that it was afraid of automobiles, and he was beginnin' to get
+rabid along that line. Then come that afternoon when him and me was out
+drivin' together, and we--Well, I'll have to tell you about that.
+
+"We was over on the long stretch of wood road between Trumet and
+Denboro, nice hard macadam, the mare--her name was Celia, but Jonadab
+had re-christened her Bay Queen after a boat he used to own--skimmin'
+along at a smooth, easy gait, when, lo and behold you! we rounds a turn
+and there ahead of us is a light, rubber-tired wagon with a man and
+woman on the seat of it. I heard Jonadab give a kind of snort.
+
+"'What's the matter?' says I.
+
+"'Nothin',' says he, between his teeth. 'Only, if I ain't some mistaken,
+that's Tobe Loveland's rig. Wonder if he's got his spunk with him? The
+Queen's feelin' her oats to-day, and I cal'late I can show him a few
+things.'
+
+"'Rubbish!' says I, disgusted. 'Don't be foolish, Jonadab. I don't know
+nothin' about his spunk, but I do know there's a woman with him. 'Tain't
+likely he'll want to race you when he's got a passenger aboard.'
+
+"'Oh, I don't know!' says he. 'I've got you, Barzilla; so 'twill be two
+and two. Let's heave alongside and see.'
+
+"So he clucked to the Queen, and in a jiffy we was astern of t'other
+rig. Loveland looked back over his shoulder.
+
+"'Ugh!' he grunts, 'bout as cordial as a plate of ice cream. ''Lo,
+Wixon, that you?'
+
+"'Um-hm,' begins Jonadab. 'How's that crowbait of yours to-day, Tobe?
+Got any go in him? 'Cause if he has, I--'
+
+"He stopped short. The woman in Loveland's carriage had turned her head
+and was starin' hard.
+
+"'Why!' she gasps. 'I do believe--Why, Jonadab!'
+
+"'HETTIE!' says the Cap'n.
+
+"Well, after that 'twas pull up, of course, and shake hands and talk.
+The widow, she done most of the talkin'. She was SO glad to see him. How
+had he been all these years? She knew him instantly. He hadn't changed
+a mite--that is, not so VERY much. She was plannin' to come over to the
+Old Home House and stay a spell later on; but now she was havin' SUCH a
+good time in Orham, Tobias--Mr. Loveland--was makin' it SO pleasant for
+her. She did enjoy drivin' so much, and Mr. Loveland had the fastest
+horse in the county--did we know that?
+
+"Tobias and Jonadab glowered back and forth while all this gush was
+bein' turned loose, and hardly spoke to one another. But when 'twas over
+and we was ready to start again, the Cap'n says, says he:
+
+"'I'll be mighty glad to see you over to the hotel, when you're ready to
+come, Hettie. I can take you ridin', too. Fur's horse goes, I've got a
+pretty good one myself.'
+
+"'Oh!' squeals the widow. 'Really? Is that him? It's awful pretty, and
+he looks fast.'
+
+"'She is,' says Jonadab. 'There's nothin' round here can beat her.'
+
+"'Humph!' says Loveland. 'Git dap!'
+
+"'Git dap!' says Jonadab, agreein' with him for once.
+
+"Tobias started, and we started. Tobias makes his horse go a little
+faster, and Jonadab speeded up some likewise. I see how 'twas goin' to
+be, and therefore I wa'n't surprised to death when the next ten minutes
+found us sizzlin' down that road, neck and neck with Loveland, dust
+flyin', hoofs poundin', and the two drivers leanin' way for'ard over
+the dash, reins gripped and teeth sot. For a little ways 'twas an even
+thing, and then we commenced to pull ahead a little.
+
+"'Loveland,' yells Jonadab, out of the port corner of his mouth, 'if
+I ain't showin' you my tailboard by the time we pass the fust house in
+Denboro, I'll eat my Sunday hat.'
+
+"I cal'late he would 'a' beat, too. We was drawin' ahead all the time
+and had a three-quarter length lead when we swung clear of the woods and
+sighted Denboro village, quarter of a mile away. And up the road comes
+flyin' a big auto, goin' to beat the cars.
+
+"Let's forget the next few minutes; they wa'n't pleasant ones for me.
+Soon's the Bay Queen sot eyes on that auto, she stopped trottin' and
+commenced to hop; from hoppin' she changed to waltzin' and high jumpin'.
+When the smoke had cleared, the auto was out of sight and we was in the
+bushes alongside the road, with the Queen just gettin' ready to climb
+a tree. As for Tobias and Henrietta, they was roundin' the turn by the
+fust house in Denboro, wavin' by-bys to us over the back of the seat.
+
+"We went home then; and every foot of the way Cap'n Jonadab called an
+automobile a new kind of name, and none complimentary. The boarders,
+they got wind of what had happened and begun to rag him, and the more
+they ragged, the madder he got and the more down on autos.
+
+"And, to put a head on the whole business, I'm blessed if Tobias
+Loveland didn't get in with an automobile agent who was stoppin' in
+Orham and buy a fifteen-hundred-dollar machine off him. And the very
+next time Jonadab was out with the Queen on the Denboro road, Tobias
+and the widow whizzed past him in that car so fast he might as well have
+been hove to. And, by way of rubbin' it in, they come along back pretty
+soon and rolled alongside of him easy, while Henrietta gushed about Mr.
+Loveland's beautiful car and how nice it was to be able to go just as
+swift as you wanted to. Jonadab couldn't answer back, nuther, bein' too
+busy keepin' the Queen from turnin' herself into a flyin' machine.
+
+"'Twas then that he got himself swore in special constable to arrest
+auto drivers for overspeedin'; and for days he wandered round layin' for
+a chance to haul up Tobias and get him fined. He'd have had plenty of
+game if he'd been satisfied with strangers, but he didn't want them
+anyhow, and, besides, most of 'em was on their way to spend money at the
+Old Home House. 'Twould have been poor business to let any of THAT cash
+go for fines, and he realized it.
+
+"'Twas in early June, only a few weeks ago, that the widow come to our
+hotel. I never thought she meant it when she said she was comin', and so
+I didn't expect her. Fact is, I was expectin' to hear that she and Tobe
+Loveland was married or engaged. But there was a slip up somewheres, for
+all to once the depot wagon brings her to the Old Home House, she hires
+a room, and settles down to stay till the season closed, which would be
+in about a fortn't.
+
+"From the very fust she played her cards for Jonadab. He meant to be
+middlin' average frosty to her, I imagine--her bein' so thick with
+Tobias prejudiced him, I presume likely. But land sakes! she thawed
+him out like hot toddy thaws out some folks' tongues. She never took no
+notice of his coldness, but smiled and gushed and flattered, and looked
+her prettiest--which was more'n average, considerin' her age--and by the
+end of the third day he was hangin' round her like a cat round a cook.
+
+"It commenced to look serious to me. Jonadab was a pretty old fish to
+be caught with soft soap and a set of false crimps; but you can't
+never tell. When them old kind do bite, they gen'rally swallow hook and
+sinker, and he sartinly did act hungry. I wished more'n once that Peter
+T. Brown, our business manager, was aboard to help me with advice, but
+Peter is off tourin' the Yosemite with his wife and her relations, so
+whatever pilotin' there was I had to do. And every day fetched Jonadab's
+bows nigher the matrimonial rocks.
+
+"I'd about made up my mind to sound the fog horn by askin' him straight
+out what he was cal'latin' to do; but somethin' I heard one evenin', as
+I set alone in the hotel office, made me think I'd better wait a spell.
+
+"The office window was open and the curtain drawed down tight. I was
+settin' inside, smokin' and goin' over the situation, when footsteps
+sounded on the piazza and a couple come to anchor on the settee right by
+that window. Cap'n Jonadab and Henrietta! I sensed that immediate.
+
+"She was laughin' and actin' kind of queer, and he was talkin' mighty
+earnest.
+
+"'Oh, no, Cap'n! Oh, no!' she giggles. 'You mustn't be so serious on
+such a beautiful night as this. Let's talk about the moon.'
+
+"'Drat the moon!' says Jonadab. 'Hettie, I--'
+
+"'Oh, just see how beautiful the water looks! All shiny and--"
+
+"'Drat the water, too! Hettie, what's the reason you don't want to talk
+serious with me? If that Tobe Loveland--'
+
+"'Really, I don't see why you bring Mr. Loveland's name into the
+conversation. He is a perfect gentleman, generous and kind; and as for
+the way in which he runs that lovely car of his--'
+
+"The Cap'n interrupted her. He ripped out somethin' emphatic.
+
+"'Generous!' he snarls. ''Bout as generous as a hog in the feed trough,
+he is. And as for runnin' that pesky auto, if I'd demean myself to own
+one of them things, I'll bet my other suit I could run it better'n he
+does. If I couldn't, I'd tie myself to the anchor and jump overboard.'
+
+"The way she answered showed pretty plain that she didn't believe him.
+'Really?' she says. 'Do you think so? Good night, Jonadab.'
+
+"I could hear her walkin' off acrost the piazza. He went after her.
+'Hettie,' he says, 'you answer me one thing. Are you engaged to Tobe
+Loveland?'
+
+"She laughed again, sort of teasin' and slow. 'Really,' says she, 'you
+are--Why, no, I'm not.'
+
+"That was all, but it set me to thinkin' hard. She wa'n't engaged to
+Loveland; she said so, herself. And yet, if she wanted Jonadab, she was
+actin' mighty funny. I ain't had no experience, but it seemed to me that
+then was the time to bag him and she'd put him off on purpose. She was
+ages too ancient to be a flirt for the fun of it. What was her game?"
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER X
+
+CAPTAIN JONADAB GOES
+
+
+Mr. Wingate stopped and roared a greeting to Captain Hiram Baker, who
+was passing the open door of the waiting room.
+
+"Hello, there, Hime!" he shouted. "Come up in here! What, are you too
+proud to speak to common folks?"
+
+Captain Hiram entered. "Hello!" he said. "You look like a busy gang, for
+sure. What you doin'--seatin' chairs?"
+
+"Just now we're automobilin'," observed Captain Sol. "Set down, Hiram."
+
+"Automobilin'?" repeated the new arrival, evidently puzzled.
+
+"Sartin. Barzilla's takin' us out. Go on, Barzilla."
+
+Mr. Wingate smiled broadly. "Well," he began, "we HAVE just about
+reached the part where I went autoin'. The widow and me and Jonadab."
+
+"Jonadab!" shouted Stitt. "I thought you said--"
+
+"I know what I said. But we went auto ridin' just the same.
+
+"'Twas Henry G. Bradbury that took us out, him and his bran-new big
+tourin' car. You see, he landed to board with us the next day after
+Henrietta come--this Henry G. did--and he was so quiet and easy spoken
+and run his car so slow that even a pizen auto hater like Jonadab
+couldn't take much offense at him. He wa'n't very well, he said, subject
+to some kind of heart attacks, and had come to the Old Home for rest.
+
+"Him and the Cap'n had great arguments about the sins of automobilin'.
+Jonadab was sot on the idee that nine folks out of ten hadn't machine
+sense enough to run a car. Bradbury, he declared that that was a fact
+with the majority of autos, but not with his. 'Why, a child could run
+it,' says he. 'Look here, Cap'n: To start it you just do this. To stop
+it you do so and so. To make her go slow you haul back on this lever. To
+make her go faster you shove down this one. And as for steerin'--well,
+a man that's handled the wheels of as many catboats as you have would
+simply have a picnic. I'm in entire sympathy with your feelin's against
+speeders and such--I'd be a constable if I was in your shoes--but this
+is a gentleman's car and runs like one.'
+
+"All Jonadab said was 'Bosh!' and 'Humph!' but he couldn't help actin'
+interested, particular as Mrs. Bassett kept him alongside of the machine
+and was so turrible interested herself. And when, this partic'lar
+afternoon, Henry G. invites us all to go out with him for a little 'roll
+around,' the widow was so tickled and insisted so that he just HAD to
+go; he didn't dast say no.
+
+"Somehow or 'nother--I ain't just sure yet how it happened--the seatin'
+arrangements was made like this: Jonadab and Bradbury on the front seat,
+and me and Henrietta in the stuffed cockpit astern. We rolled out and
+purred along the road, smooth as a cat trottin' to dinner. No speedin',
+no joltin', no nothin'. 'TWAS a 'gentleman's car'; there wa'n't no doubt
+about that.
+
+"We went 'way over to Bayport and Orham and beyond. And all the time
+Bradbury kept p'intin' out the diff'rent levers to Jonadab and tellin'
+him how to work 'em. Finally, after we'd headed back, he asked Jonadab
+to take the wheel and steer her a spell. Said his heart was feelin' sort
+of mean and 'twould do him good to rest.
+
+"Jonadab said no, emphatic and more'n average ugly, but Henry G. kept
+beggin' and pleadin', and pretty soon the widow put in her oar. He must
+do it, to please her. He had SAID he could do it--had told her so--and
+now he must make good. Why, when Mr. Loveland--
+
+"'All right,' snarls Jonadab. 'I'll try. But if ever--'
+
+"'Hold on!' says I. 'Here's where I get out.'
+
+"However, they wouldn't let me, and the Cap'n took the wheel. His jaw
+was set and his hands shakin', but he done it. Hettie had give her
+orders and she was skipper.
+
+"For a consider'ble spell we just crawled. Jonadab was steerin' less
+crooked every minute and it tickled him; you could see that.
+
+"'Answers her hellum tiptop, don't she?' he says.
+
+"'Bet your life!' says Bradbury. 'Better put on a little more speed,
+hadn't we?'"
+
+He put it on himself, afore the new pilot could stop him, and we
+commenced to move.
+
+"'When you want to make her jump,' he says, you press down on that with
+your foot, and you shove the spark back.'
+
+"'Shut up!' howls Jonadab. 'Belay! Don't you dast to touch that. I'm
+scart to death as 'tis. Here! you take this wheel.'
+
+"But he wouldn't, and we went on at a good clip. For a green hand the
+Cap'n was leavin' a pretty straight wake.
+
+"'Gosh!' he says, after a spell; 'I b'lieve I'm kind of gettin' the hang
+of the craft.'
+
+"'Course you are,' says Bradbury. 'I told--Oh!'
+
+"He straightens up, grabs at his vest, and slumps down against the back
+of the seat.
+
+"'What IS it?' screams the widow. 'Oh, what IS it, Mr. Bradbury?'
+
+"He answers, plucky, but toler'ble faintlike. My heart!' he gasps.
+'I--I'm afraid I'm goin' to have one of my attacks. I must get to a
+doctor quick.'
+
+"'Doctor!' I sings out. 'Great land of love! there ain't a doctor nigher
+than Denboro, and that's four mile astern.'
+
+"'Never mind,' cries the Bassett woman. 'We must go there, then. Turn
+around, Jonadab! Turn around at once! Mr. Bradbury--'
+
+"But poor Henry G. was curled up against the cushions and we couldn't
+get nothin' out of him but groans. And all the time we was sailin' along
+up the road.
+
+"'Turn around, Jonadab!' orders Henrietta. 'Turn around and go for the
+doctor!'
+
+"Jonadab's hands was clutched on that wheel, and his face was white as
+his rubber collar.
+
+"'Jerushy!' he groans desperate, 'I--I don't know HOW to turn around.'
+
+"'Then stop, you foolhead!' I bellers. 'Stop where you be!'
+
+"And he moans--almost cryin' he was: 'I--I've forgotten how to STOP.'
+
+"Talk about your situations! If we wa'n't in one then I miss my guess.
+Every minute we was sinkin' Denboro below the horizon.
+
+"'We MUST get to a doctor,' says the widow. 'Where is there another one,
+Mr. Wingate?'
+
+"'The next one's in Bayport,' says I, 'and that's ten mile ahead if it's
+a foot.'
+
+"However, there wa'n't nothin' else for it, so toward Bayport we put.
+Bradbury groaned once in a while, and Mrs. Bassett got nervous.
+
+"'We'll never get there at this rate,' says she. 'Go faster, Jonadab.
+Faster! Press down on--on that thing he told you to. Please! for MY
+sake.'
+
+"'Don't you--' I begun; but 'twas too late. He pressed, and away we
+went. We was eatin' up the road now, I tell you, and though I was
+expectin' every minute to be my next, I couldn't help admirin' the way
+the Cap'n steered. And, as for him, he was gettin' more and more set up
+and confident.
+
+"'She handles like a yacht, Barzilla,' he grunts, between his teeth.
+'See me put her around the next buoy ahead there. Hey! how's that?'
+
+"The next 'buoy' was a curve in the road, and we went around it
+beautiful. So with the next and the next and the next. Bayport wa'n't so
+very fur ahead. All to once another dreadful thought struck me.
+
+"'Look here!' I yells. 'How in time are we goin' to stop when we--OW!'
+
+"The Bassett woman had pinched my arm somethin' savage. I looked at her,
+and she was scowlin' and shakin' her head.
+
+"'S-sh-sh!' she whispers. 'Don't disturb him. He'll be frightened and--'
+
+"'Frightened! Good heavens to Betsy! I cal'late he won't be the only one
+that's fri--'
+
+"But she looked so ugly that I shut up prompt, though I done a heap of
+thinkin'. On we went and, as we turned the next 'buoy,' there, ahead of
+us, was another auto, somethin' like ours, with only one person in it, a
+man, and goin' in the same direction we was, though not quite so fast.
+
+"Then I WAS scart. 'Hi, Jonadab!' I sings out. 'Heave to! Come about!
+Shorten sail! Do you want to run him down? Look OUT!'
+
+"I might as well have saved my breath. Heavin' to and the rest of it
+wa'n't included in our pilot's education. On we went, same as ever. I
+don't know what might have happened if the widow hadn't kept her head.
+She leaned over the for'ard rail of the after cockpit and squeezed a
+rubber bag that was close to Jonadab's starboard arm. It was j'ined to
+the fog whistle, I cal'late, 'cause from under our bows sounded a beller
+like a bull afoul of a barb-wire fence.
+
+"The feller in t'other car turned his head and looked. Then he commenced
+to sheer off to wind'ard so's to let us pass. But all the time he kept
+lookin' back and starin' and, as we got nigher, and I could see him
+plainer through the dust, he looked more and more familiar. 'Twas
+somebody I knew.
+
+"Then I heard a little grunt, or gasp, from Cap'n Jonadab. He was
+leanin' for'ard over the wheel, starin' at the man in the other auto.
+The nigher we got, the harder he stared; and the man in front was
+actin' similar in regards to him. And, all to once, the head car stopped
+swingin' off to wind'ard, turned back toward the middle of the road, and
+begun to go like smoke. The next instant I felt our machine fairly jump
+beneath me. I looked at Jonadab's foot. 'Twas pressed hard down on the
+speed lever.
+
+"'You crazy loon!' I screeched. 'You--you--you--Stop it! Take your foot
+off that! Do you want to--!'
+
+"I was climbin' over the back of the front seat, my knee pretty nigh on
+Bradbury's head. But, would you believe it, that Jonadab man let go of
+the wheel with one hand--let GO of it, mind you--and give me a shove
+that sent me backward in Henrietta Bassett's lap.
+
+"'Barzilla!' he growled, between his teeth, 'you set where you be
+and keep off the quarterdeck. I'm runnin' this craft. I'll beat that
+Loveland this time or run him under, one or t'other!'
+
+"As sure as I'm alive this minute, the man in the front car was Tobias
+Loveland!
+
+"And from then on--Don't talk! I dream about it nights and wake up with
+my arms around the bedpost. I ain't real sure, but I kind of have an
+idee that the bedpost business comes from the fact that I was huggin'
+the widow some of the time. If I did, 'twa'n't knowin'ly, and she never
+mentioned it afterwards. All I can swear to is clouds of dust, and horns
+honkin', and telegraph poles lookin' like teeth in a comb, and Jonadab's
+face set as the Day of Judgment.
+
+"He kept his foot down on the speed place as if 'twas glued. He shoved
+the 'spark'--whatever that is--'way back. Every once in a while he
+yelled, yelled at the top of his lungs. What he yelled hadn't no sense
+to it. Sometimes you'd think that he was drivin' a horse and next that
+he was handlin' a schooner in a gale.
+
+"'Git dap!' he'd whoop. 'Go it, you cripples! Keep her nose right in the
+teeth of it! She's got the best of the water, so let her bile! Whe-E-E!'
+
+"We didn't stop at Bayport. Our skipper had made other arrangements.
+However, the way I figgered it, we was long past needin' a doctor, and
+you can get an undertaker 'most anywhere. We went through the village
+like a couple of shootin' stars, Tobias about a length ahead, his hat
+blowed off, his hair--what little he's got--streamin' out behind, and
+that blessed red buzz wagon of his fairly skimmin' the hummocks and
+jumpin' the smooth places. And right astern of him comes Jonadab,
+hangin' to the wheel, HIS hat gone, his mouth open, and fillin' the dust
+with yells and coughs.
+
+"You could see folks runnin' to doors and front gates; but you never saw
+'em reach where they was goin'--time they done that we was somewheres
+round the next bend. A pullet run over us once--yes, I mean just that.
+She clawed the top of the widow's bunnit as we slid underneath her, and
+by the time she lit we was so fur away she wa'n't visible to the
+naked eye. Bradbury--who'd got better remarkable sudden--was pawin' at
+Jonadab's arm, tryin' to make him ease up; but he might as well have
+pawed the wind. As for Henrietta Bassett, she was acrost the back of the
+front seat tootin' the horn for all she was wuth. And curled down in a
+heap on the cockpit floor was a fleshy, sea-farin' person by the name of
+Barzilla Wingate, sufferin' from chills and fever.
+
+"I think 'twas on the long stretch of the Trumet road that we beat
+Tobias. I know we passed somethin' then, though just what I ain't
+competent to testify. All I'm sure of is that, t'other side of Bayport
+village, the landscape got some less streaked and you could most
+gen'rally separate one house from the next.
+
+"Bradbury looked at Henrietta and smiled, a sort of sickly smile. She
+was pretty pale, but she managed to smile back. I got up off the floor
+and slumped on the cushions. As for Cap'n Jonadab Wixon, he'd stopped
+yellin', but his face was one broad, serene grin. His mouth, through
+the dust and the dirt caked around it, looked like a rain gully in a
+sand-bank. And, occasional, he crowed, hoarse but vainglorious.
+
+"'Did you see me?' he barked. 'Did you notice me lick him? He'll laugh
+at me, will he?--him and his one-horse tin cart! Ho! HO! Why, you'd
+think he was settin' down to rest! I've got him where I want him now!
+Ho, ho! Say, Henrietta, did you go swift as you--? Land sakes! Mr.
+Bradbury, I forgot all about you. And I--I guess we must have got a good
+ways past the doctor's place.'
+
+"Bradbury said never mind. He felt much better, and he cal'lated he'd do
+till we fetched the Old Home dock. He'd take the wheel, now, he guessed.
+
+"But, would you b'lieve it, that fool Jonadab wouldn't let him! He was
+used to the ship now, he said, and, if 'twas all the same to Henry G.
+and Hettie, he'd kind of like to run her into port.
+
+"'She answers her hellum fine,' he says. 'After a little practice I
+cal'late I could steer--'
+
+"'Steer!' sings out Bradbury. 'STEER! Great Caesar's ghost! I give you
+my word, Cap'n Wixon, I never saw such handlin' of a machine as you did
+goin' through Bayport, in my life. You're a wonder!'
+
+"'Um-hm,' says Jonadab contented. 'I've steered a good many vessels in
+my time, through traffic and amongst the shoals, and never run afoul
+of nothin' yet. I don't see much diff'rence on shore--'cept that it's a
+little easier.'
+
+"EASIER! Wouldn't that--Well, what's the use of talkin'?
+
+"We got to the Old Home House safe and sound; Jonadab, actin' under
+Bradbury's orders, run her into the yard, slowin' up and stoppin' at
+the front steps slick as grease. He got out, his chest swelled up like
+a puffin' pig, and went struttin' in to tell everybody what he'd done to
+Loveland. I don't know where Bradbury and the widow went. As for me, I
+went aloft and turned in. And 'twas two days and nights afore I got up
+again. I had a cold, anyway, and what I'd been through didn't help it
+none.
+
+"The afternoon of the second day, Bradbury come up to see me. He was
+dressed in his city clothes and looked as if he was goin' away. Sure
+enough, he was; goin' on the next train.
+
+"'Where's Jonadab?' says I.
+
+"'Oh, he's out in his car,' he says. 'Huntin' for Loveland again,
+maybe.'
+
+"'HIS car? You mean yours.'
+
+"'No, I mean his. I sold my car to him yesterday mornin' for twenty-five
+hundred dollars cash.'
+
+"I set up in bed. 'Go 'long!' I sings out. 'You didn't nuther!'
+
+"'Yes, I did. Sure thing. After that ride, you couldn't have separated
+him from that machine with blastin' powder. He paid over the money like
+a little man.'
+
+"I laid down again. Jonadab Wixon payin' twenty-five hundred dollars for
+a plaything! Not promisin', but actually PAYIN' it!
+
+"'Has--has the widow gone with him?' I asked, soon's I could get my
+breath.
+
+"He laughed sort of queer. 'No,' he says, 'she's gone out of town for
+a few days. Ha, ha! Well, between you and me, Wingate, I doubt if
+she comes back again. She and I have made all we're likely to in this
+neighborhood, and she's too good a business woman to waste her time.
+Good-by; glad to have met you.'
+
+"But I smelt rat strong and wouldn't let him go without seein' the
+critter.
+
+"'Hold on!' I says. 'There's somethin' underneath all this. Out with it.
+I won't let on to the Cap'n if you don't want me to.'
+
+"'Well,' says he, laughin' again, 'Mrs. Bassett WON'T come back and
+I know it. She and I have sold four cars on the Cape in the last five
+weeks, and the profits'll more'n pay vacation expenses. Two up in
+Wareham, one over in Orham, to Loveland--'
+
+"'Did YOU sell Tobias his?' I asks, settin' up again.
+
+"'Hettie and I did--yes. Soon's we landed him, we come over to bag old
+Wixon. I thought one time he'd kill us before we got him, but he didn't.
+How he did run that thing! He's a game sport.'
+
+"'See here!' says I. 'YOU and Hettie sold--What do you mean by that?'
+
+"'Mrs. Bassett is my backer in the auto business,' says he. 'She put in
+her money and I furnished the experience. We've got a big plant up in--'
+namin' a city in Connecticut.
+
+"I fetched a long breath. 'WELL!' says I. 'And all this makin' eyes at
+Tobe and Jonadab was just--just--'
+
+"'Just bait, that's all,' says he. 'I told you she was a good business
+woman.'
+
+"I let this sink in good. Then says I, 'Humph! I swan to man! And how's
+your heart actin' now?'
+
+"'Fine!' he says, winkin'. 'I had that attack so's the Cap'n would learn
+to run on his own hook. I didn't expect quite so much of a run, but
+I'm satisfied. Don't you worry about my heart disease. That twenty-five
+hundred cured it. 'Twas all in the way of business,' says Henry G.
+Bradbury."
+
+"Whew!" whistled Captain Hiram as Barzilla reached into his pocket for
+pipe and tobacco. "Whew! I should say your partner had a narrer escape.
+Want to look out sharp for widders. They're dangerous, hey, Sol?"
+
+The depot master did not answer. Captain Hiram asked another question.
+"How'd Jonadab take Hettie's leavin'?" he inquired.
+
+"Oh," said Barzilla, "I don't think he minded so much. He was too crazy
+about his new auto to care for anything else. Then, too, he was b'ilin'
+mad 'cause Loveland swore out a warrant against him for speedin'.
+
+"'Nice trick, ain't it?' he says. 'I knew Tobe was a poor loser, but
+I didn't think he'd be so low down as all that. Says I was goin' fifty
+mile an hour. He! he! Well, I WAS movin', that's a fact. I don't care.
+'Twas wuth the twenty-dollar fine.'
+
+"'Maybe so,' I says, 'but 'twon't look very pretty to have a special
+auto constable hauled up and fined for breakin' the law he's s'posed to
+protect.'
+
+"He hadn't thought of that. His face clouded over.
+
+"'No use, Barzilla,' says he; 'I'll have to give it up.'
+
+"'Guess you will,' says I. 'Automobilin' is--'
+
+"'I don't mean automobilin',' he snorts disgusted. 'Course not! I mean
+bein' constable.'
+
+"So there you are! From cussin' automobiles he's got so that he can't
+talk enough good about 'em. And every day sence then he's out on the
+road layin' for another chance at Tobias. I hope he gets that chance
+pretty soon, because--well, there's a rumor goin' round that Loveland is
+plannin' to swap his car for a bigger and faster one. If he does . . ."
+
+"If he does," interrupted Captain Sol, "I hope you'll fix the next race
+for over here. I'd like to see you go by, Barzilla."
+
+"Guess you'd have to look quick to see him," laughed Stitt. "Speakin'
+about automobiles--"
+
+"By gum!" ejaculated Wingate, "you'd have to look somewheres else to
+find ME. I've got all the auto racin' I want!"
+
+"Speakin' of automobiles," began Captain Bailey again. No one paid the
+slightest attention.
+
+"How's Dusenberry, your baby, Hiram?" asked the depot master, turning to
+Captain Baker. "His birthday's the Fourth, and that's only a couple of
+days off."
+
+The proud parent grinned, then looked troubled.
+
+"Why, he ain't real fust-rate," he said. "Seems to be some under
+the weather. Got a cold and kind of sore throat. Dr. Parker says he
+cal'lates it's a touch of tonsilitis. There's consider'ble fever, too.
+I was hopin' the doctor'd come again to-day, but he's gone away on
+a fishin' cruise. Won't be home till late to-morrer. I s'pose me and
+Sophrony hadn't ought to worry. Dr. Parker seems to know about the
+case."
+
+"Humph!" grunted the depot master, "there's only two bein's in creation
+that know it all. One's the Almighty and t'other's young Parker. He's
+right out of medical school and is just as fresh as his diploma. He
+hadn't any business to go fishin' and leave his patients. We lost a
+good man when old Dr. Ryder died. He . . . Oh, well! you mustn't
+worry, Hiram. Dusenberry'll pull out in time for his birthday. Goin' to
+celebrate, was you?"
+
+Captain Baker nodded. "Um-hm," he said. "Sophrony's goin' to bake a
+frosted cake and stick three candles on it--he's three year old, you
+know--and I've made him a 'twuly boat with sails,' that's what he's been
+beggin' for. Ho! ho! he's the cutest little shaver!"
+
+"Speakin' of automobiles," began Bailey Stitt for the third time.
+
+"That youngster of yours, Hiram," went on the depot master, "is the
+right kind. Compared with some of the summer young ones that strike this
+depot, he's a saint."
+
+Captain Hiram grinned. "That's what I tell Sophrony," he said.
+"Sometimes when Dusenberry gets to cuttin' up and she is sort of
+provoked, I say to her, 'Old lady,' I say, 'if you think THAT'S a
+naughty boy, you ought to have seen Archibald.'"
+
+"Who was Archibald?" asked Barzilla.
+
+"He was a young rip that Sim Phinney and I run across four years ago
+when we went on our New York cruise together. The weir business had been
+pretty good and Sim had been teasin' me to go on a vacation with him, so
+I went. Sim ain't stopped talkin' about our experiences yet. Ho! ho!"
+
+"You bet he ain't!" laughed the depot master. "One mix-up you had with
+a priest, and a love story, and land knows what. He talks about that to
+this day."
+
+"What was it? He never told me," said Wingate.
+
+"Why, it begun at the Golconda House, the hotel where Sim and I was
+stayin'. We--"
+
+"Did YOU put up at the Golconda?" interrupted Barzilla. "Why, Cap'n
+Jonadab and me stayed there when we went to New York."
+
+"I know you did. Jonadab recommended it to Sim, and Sim took the
+recommendation. That Golconda House is the only grudge I've got against
+Jonadab Wixon. It sartin is a tough old tavern."
+
+"I give in to that. Jonadab's so sot on it account of havin' stopped
+there on his honeymoon, years and years ago. He's too stubborn to
+own it's bad. It's a matter of principle with him, and he's sot on
+principle."
+
+"Yes," continued Baker. "Well, Sim and me had been at that Golconda
+three days and nights. Mornin' of the fourth day we walked out of the
+dinin' room after breakfast, feelin' pretty average chipper. Gettin'
+safe past another meal at that hotel was enough of itself to make a chap
+grateful.
+
+"We walked out of the dinin' room and into the office. And there, by the
+clerk's desk, was a big, tall man, dressed up in clothes that was loud
+enough to speak for themselves, and with a shiny new tall hat, set with
+a list to port, on his head. He was smooth-faced and pug-nosed, with an
+upper lip like a camel's.
+
+"He didn't pay much attention to us, nor to anybody else, for the matter
+of that. He was as mournful as a hearse, for all his joyful togs.
+
+"'Fine day, ain't it?' says Sim, social.
+
+"The tall chap looked up at him from under the deck of the beaver hat.
+
+"'Huh!' he growls out, and looks down again.
+
+"'I say it's a fine day,' said Phinney again.
+
+"'I was after hearin' yez say it,' says the man, and walks off, scowlin'
+like a meat ax. We looked after him.
+
+"'Who was that murderer?' asks Sim of the clerk. 'And when are they
+going to hang him?'
+
+"'S-sh-sh!' whispers the clerk, scart. ''Tis the boss. The bloke what
+runs the hotel. He's a fine man, but he has troubles. He's blue.'
+
+"'So that's the boss, hey?' says I. 'And he's blue. Well, he looks it.
+What's troublin' him? Ain't business good?'
+
+"'Never better. It ain't that. He has things on his mind. You see--'
+
+"I cal'late he'd have told us the yarn, only Sim wouldn't wait to hear
+it. We was goin' sight-seein' and we had 'aquarium' and 'Stock Exchange'
+on the list for that afternoon. The hotel clerk had made out a kind of
+schedule for us of things we'd ought to see while we was in New York,
+and so fur we'd took in the zoological menagerie and the picture museum,
+and Central Park and Brooklyn Bridge.
+
+"On the way downtown in the elevated railroad Sim done some preachin'.
+His text was took from the Golconda House sign, which had 'T. Dempsey,
+Proprietor,' painted on it.
+
+"'It's that Dempsey man's conscience that makes him so blue, Hiram,'
+says Sim. 'It's the way he makes his money. He sells liquor.'
+
+"'Oh!' says I. 'Is THAT it? I thought maybe he'd been sleepin' on one
+of his own hotel beds. THEY'RE enough to make any man blue--black and
+blue.'
+
+"The 'aquarium' wa'n't a success. Phinney was disgusted. He give one
+look around, grabbed me by the arm, and marched me out of that building
+same as Deacon Titcomb, of the Holiness Church at Denboro, marched his
+boy out of the Universalist sociable.
+
+"'It's nothin' but a whole passel of fish,' he snorts. 'The idea of
+sendin' two Cape Codders a couple of miles to look at FISH. I've looked
+at 'em and fished for 'em, and et 'em all the days of my life,' he says,
+'and when I'm on a vacation I want a change. I'd forgot that "aquarium"
+meant fish, or you wouldn't have got me within smellin' distance of
+it. Necessity's one thing and pleasure's another, as the boy said about
+takin' his ma's spring bitters.'
+
+"So we headed for the Stock Exchange. We got our gallery tickets at the
+bank where the Golconda folks kept money, and in a little while we was
+leanin' over a kind of marble bulwarks and starin' down at a gang of men
+smokin' and foolin' and carryin' on. 'Twas a dull day, so we found out
+afterward, and I guess likely that was true. Anyway, I never see such
+grown-up men act so much like children. There was a lot of poles stuck
+up around with signs on 'em, and around every pole was a circle of
+bedlamites hollerin' like loons. Hollerin' was the nighest to work
+of anything I see them fellers do, unless 'twas tearin' up papers and
+shovin' the pieces down somebody's neck or throwin' 'em in the air like
+a play-actin' snowstorm.
+
+"'What's the matter with 'em?' says I. 'High finance taken away their
+brains?'
+
+"But Phinney was awful interested. He dumped some money in a mine once.
+The mine caved in on it, I guess, for not a red cent ever come to the
+top again, but he's been a kind of prophet concernin' finances ever
+sence.
+
+"'I want to see the big fellers,' says he. 'S'pose that fat one is
+Morgan?'
+
+"'I don't know,' says I. 'Me and Pierpont ain't met for ever so long.
+Don't lean over and point so; you're makin' a hit.'
+
+"He was, too. Some of the younger crew on the floor was lookin' up and
+grinnin', and more kept stoppin' and joinin' in all the time. I cal'late
+we looked kind of green and soft, hangin' over that marble rail, like
+posies on a tombstone; and green is the favorite color to a stockbroker,
+they tell me. Anyhow, we had a good-sized congregation under us in
+less than no time. Likewise, they got chatty, and commenced to unload
+remarks.
+
+"'Land sakes!' says one. 'How's punkins?'
+
+"'How's crops down your way?' says another.
+
+"Now there wa'n't nothin' real bright and funny about these
+questions--more fresh than new, they struck me--but you'd think they
+was gems from the comic almanac, jedgin' by the haw-haws. Next minute
+a little bald-headed smart Alec, with clothes that had a tailor's sign
+hull down and out of the race, steps to the front and commences to make
+a speech.
+
+"'Gosh t'mighty, gents,' says he. 'With your kind permission, I'll sing
+"When Reuben Comes to Town."'
+
+"And he did sing it, too, in a voice that needed cultivatin' worse'n
+a sandy front yard. And with every verse the congregation whooped and
+laughed and cheered. When the anthem was concluded, all hands set up a
+yell and looked at us to see how we took it.
+
+"As for me, I was b'ilin' mad and mortified and redhot all over. But Sim
+Phinney was as cool as an October evenin'. Once in a while old Sim
+comes out right down brilliant, and he done it now. He smiled, kind
+of tolerant and easy, same as you might at the tricks of a hand-organ
+monkey. Then he claps his hands, applaudin' like, reaches into his
+pocket, brings up a couple of pennies, and tosses 'em down to little
+baldhead, who was standin' there blown up with pride.
+
+"For a minute the crowd was still. And THEN such a yell as went up! The
+whole floor went wild. Next thing I knew the gallery was filled with
+brokers, grabbin' us by the hands, poundin' us on the back, beggin' us
+to come have a drink, and generally goin' crazy. We was solid with the
+'system' for once in our lives. We could have had that whole buildin',
+from marble decks to gold maintruck, if we'd said the word. Fifty
+yellin' lunatics was on hand to give it to us; the other two hundred was
+joyfully mutilatin' the baldhead.
+
+"Well, I wanted to get away, and so did Sim, I guess; but the crowd
+wouldn't let us. We'd got to have a drink; hogsheads of drinks. That was
+the best joke on Eddie Lewisburg that ever was. Come on! We MUST come
+on! Whee! Wow!
+
+"I don't know how it would have ended if some one hadn't butted head
+first through the mob and grabbed me by the shoulder. I was ready to
+fight by this time, and maybe I'd have begun to fight if the chap who
+grabbed me hadn't been a few inches short of seven foot high. And,
+besides that, I knew him. 'Twas Sam Holden, a young feller I knew when
+he boarded here one summer. His wife boarded here, too, only she wa'n't
+his wife then. Her name was Grace Hargrave and she was a fine girl.
+Maybe you remember 'em, Sol?"
+
+The depot master nodded.
+
+"I remember 'em well," he said. "Liked 'em both--everybody did."
+
+"Yes. Well, he knew us and was glad to see us.
+
+"'It IS you!' he sings out. 'By George! I thought it was when I came on
+the floor just now. My! but I'm glad to see you. And Mr. Phinney, too!
+Bully! Clear out and let 'em alone, you Indians.'
+
+"The crowd didn't want to let us alone, but Sam got us clear somehow,
+and out of the Exchange Buildin' and into the back room of a kind of
+restaurant. Then he gets chairs for us, orders cigars, and shakes hands
+once more.
+
+"'To think of seein' you two in New York!' he says, wonderin'. 'What are
+you doin' here? When did you come? Tell us about it.'
+
+"So we told him about our pleasure cruise, and what had happened to us
+so fur. It seemed to tickle him 'most to death.
+
+"'Grace and I are keepin' house, in a modest way, uptown,' says Sam,
+'and she'll be as glad to see you as I am. You're comin' up to dinner
+with me to-night, and you're goin' to make us a visit, you know,' he
+says.
+
+"Well, if we didn't know it then, we learned it right away. Nothin'
+that me or Simeon could say would make him change the course a point. So
+Phinney went up to the Golconda House and got our bags, and at half-past
+four that afternoon the three of us was in a hired hack bound uptown.
+
+"On the way Sam was full of fun as ever. He laughed and joked, and asked
+questions about East Harniss till you couldn't rest. All of a sudden he
+slaps his knee and sings out:
+
+"'There! I knew I'd forgotten somethin'. Our butler left yesterday,
+and I was to call at the intelligence office on my way home and see if
+they'd scared up a new one.'
+
+"I looked at Simeon, and he at me.
+
+"'Hum!' says I, thinkin' about that 'modest' housekeepin'. 'Do you keep
+a butler?'
+
+"'Not long,' says he, dry as a salt codfish. And that's all we could get
+out of him.
+
+"I s'pose there's different kinds of modesty. We hadn't more'n got
+inside the gold-plated front door of that house when I decided that the
+Holden brand of housekeepin' wa'n't bashful enough to blush. If I'D been
+runnin' that kind of a place, the only time I'd felt shy and retirin'
+was when the landlord came for the rent.
+
+"One of the fo'mast hands--hired girls, I mean--went aloft to fetch Mrs.
+Holden, and when Grace came down she was just as nice and folksy and
+glad to see us as a body could be. But she looked sort of troubled, just
+the same.
+
+"'I'm ever so glad you're here,' says she to me and Simeon. 'But, oh,
+Sam! it's a shame the way things happen. Cousin Harriet and Archie came
+this afternoon to stay until to-morrow. They're on their way South.
+And I have promised that you and I shall take Harriet to see Marlowe
+to-night. Of course we won't do it now, under any consideration, but you
+know what she is.'
+
+"Sam seemed to know. He muttered somethin' that sounded like a Scripture
+text. Simeon spoke up prompt.
+
+"'Indeed you will,' says he, decided. 'Me and Hiram ain't that kind.
+We've got relations of our own, and we know what it means when they
+come a-visitin'. You and Mr. Holden'll take your comp'ny and go to
+see--whatever 'tis you want to see, and we'll make ourselves to home
+till you get back. Yes, you will, or we clear out this minute.'
+
+"They didn't want to, but we was sot, and so they give in finally. It
+seemed that this Cousin Harriet was a widow relation of the Holdens, who
+lived in a swell country house over in Connecticut somewhere, and was
+rich as the rest of the tribe. Archie was her son. 'Hers and the Evil
+One's,' Sam said.
+
+"We didn't realize how much truth there was in this last part until we
+run afoul of Archie and his ma at dinner time. Cousin Harriet was tall
+and middlin' slim, thirty-five years old, maybe, at a sale for
+taxes, but discounted to twenty at her own valuation. She was got up
+regardless, and had a kind of chronic, tired way of talkin', and a
+condescendin' look to her, as if she was on top of Bunker Hill monument,
+and all creation was on its knees down below. She didn't warm up to
+Simeon and me much; eyed us over through a pair of gilt spyglasses, and
+admitted that she was 'charmed, I'm sure.' Likewise, she was afflicted
+with 'nerves,' which must be a divil of a disease--for everybody but the
+patient, especial.
+
+"Archie--his ma hailed him as 'Archibald, dear'--showed up pretty
+soon in tow of his 'maid,' a sweet-faced, tired-out Irish girl named
+Margaret. 'Archibald, dear,' was five years old or so, sufferin' from
+curls and the lack of a lickin'. I never see a young one that needed a
+strap ile more.
+
+"'How d'ye do Archie?' says Simeon, holdin' out his hand.
+
+"Archie didn't take the hand. Instead of that he points at Phinney and
+commences to laugh.
+
+"'Ho, ho!' says he, dancin' and pointin'. 'Look at the funny whiskers.'
+
+"Sim wa'n't expectin' that, and it set him all aback, like he'd run into
+a head squall. He took hold of his beard and looked foolish. Sam and
+Grace looked ashamed and mad. Cousin Harriet laughed one of her lazy
+laughs.
+
+"'Archibald, de-ar,' she drawls, 'you mustn't speak that way. Now be
+nice, and play with Margaret durin' dinner, that's a good boy.'
+
+"'I won't,' remarks Archie, cheerful. 'I'm goin' to dine with you,
+mama.'
+
+"'Oh, no, you're not, dear. You'll have your own little table, and--'
+
+"Then 'twas' Hi, yi!' 'Bow, wow!' Archibald wa'n't hankerin' for little
+tables. He was goin' to eat with us, that's what. His ma, she argued
+with him and pleaded, and he yelled and stamped and hurrahed. When
+Margaret tried to soothe him he went at her like a wild-cat, and kicked
+and pounded her sinful. She tried to take him out of the room, and then
+Cousin Harriet come down on her like a scow load of brick.
+
+"'Haven't I told you,' says she, sharp and vinegary, 'not to oppose the
+child in that way? Archibald has such a sensitive nature,' she says to
+Grace, 'that opposition arouses him just as it did me at his age. Very
+well, dear; you MAY dine with us to-night, if you wish. Oh, my poor
+nerves! Margaret, why don't you place a chair for Master Archibald? The
+creature is absolutely stupid at times,' she says, talkin' about that
+poor maid afore her face with no more thought for her feelin's than
+if she was a wooden image. 'She has no tact whatever. I wouldn't have
+Archibald's spirit broken for anything.'
+
+"'Twas his neck that needed breakin' if you asked ME. That was a joyful
+meal, now I tell you.
+
+"There was more joy when 'twas over. Archie didn't want to go to bed,
+havin' desires to set up and torment Simeon with questions about his
+whiskers; askin' if they growed or was tied on, and things like that.
+Course he didn't know his ma was goin' to the show, or he wouldn't have
+let her. But finally he was coaxed upstairs by Margaret and a box of
+candy, and, word havin' been sent down that he was asleep, Sam got
+out his plug hat, and Grace and Cousin Harriet got on their fur-lined
+dolmans and knit clouds, and was ready for the hack.
+
+"'I feel mighty mean to go off and leave you this way,' says Sam to
+me and Simeon. 'But you make yourself at home, won't you? This is your
+house to-night, you know; servants and all.'
+
+"'How about that boy's wakin' up?' says I.
+
+"'Oh, his maid'll attend to him. If she needs any help you can give it
+to her,' he says, winkin' on the side.
+
+"But Cousin Harriet was right at his starboard beam, and she heard him.
+She flew up like a settin' hen.
+
+"'Indeed they will NOT!' she sings out. 'If anyone but Margaret was to
+attempt to control Archibald, I don't dare think what might happen.
+I shall not stir from this spot until these persons promise not to
+interfere in ANY way; Archibald, dear, is such a sensitive child.'
+
+"So we promised not to interfere, although Sim Phinney looked
+disappointed when he done it. I could see that he'd had hopes afore he
+give that promise."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XI
+
+IN THE GREAT METROPOLIS
+
+
+"So they left you and Sim Phinney to keep house, did they, Hiram?"
+observed Wingate.
+
+"They did. And, for a spell, we figgered on bein' free from too much
+style.
+
+"After they'd gone we loafed into the settin' room or libr'ry, or
+whatever you call it, and come to anchor in a couple of big lazy chairs.
+
+"'Now,' says I, takin' off my coat, 'we can be comf'table.'
+
+"But we couldn't. In bobs a servant girl to know if we 'wanted
+anything.' We didn't, but she looked so shocked when she see me in my
+shirt sleeves that I put the coat on again, feelin' as if I'd ought
+to blush. And in a minute back she comes to find out if we was SURE we
+didn't want anything. Sim was hitchin' in his chair. Between 'nerves'
+and Archibald, his temper was raw on the edges.
+
+"'Say,' he bursts out, 'you look kind of pale to me. What you need is
+fresh air. Why don't you go take a walk?'
+
+"The girl looked at him with her mouth open.
+
+"'Oh,' says she, 'I couldn't do that, thank you, sir. That would leave
+no one but the cook and the kitchen girl. And the master said you was to
+be made perfectly comf'table, and--'
+
+"'Yes,' says Sim, dry, 'I heard him say it. And we can't be comf'table
+with you shut up in the house this nice evenin'. Go and take a walk, and
+take the cook and stewardess with you. Don't argue about it. I'm skipper
+here till the boss gets back. Go, the three of you, and go NOW. D'ye
+hear?'
+
+"There was a little more talk, but not much. In five minutes or so the
+downstairs front door banged, and there was gigglin' outside.
+
+"'There,' says Simeon, peelin' off HIS coat and throwin' himself back in
+one chair with his feet on another one. 'Now, by Judas, I'm goin' to be
+homey and happy like poor folks. I don't wonder that Harriet woman's got
+nerves. Darn style, anyhow! Pass over that cigar box, Hiram.'
+
+"'Twas half an hour later or so when Margaret, the nursemaid, came
+downstairs. I'd almost forgot her. We was tame and toler'ble contented
+by that time. Phinney called to her as she went by the door.
+
+"'Is that young one asleep?' he asked.
+
+"'Yes, sir,' says she, 'he is. Is there anything I can do? Did you want
+anything?'
+
+"Simeon looks at me. 'I swan to man, it's catchin'!' he says. 'They've
+all got it. No, we don't want anything, except--What's the matter? YOU
+don't need fresh air, do you?'
+
+"The girl looked as if she'd lost her last friend. Her pretty face was
+pale and her eyes was wet, as if she'd been cryin'.
+
+"'No, sir,' says she, puzzled. 'No, sir, thank you, sir.'
+
+"'She's tired out, that's all,' says I. I swan, I pitied the poor thing.
+'You go somewheres and take a nap,' I told her. 'Me and my friend won't
+tell.'
+
+"Oh, no, she couldn't do that. It wa'n't that she was tired--no more
+tired than usual--but she'd been that troubled in her mind lately,
+askin' our pardon, that she was near to crazy.
+
+"We was sorry for that, but it didn't seem to be none of our business,
+and she was turnin' away, when all at once she stops and turns back
+again.
+
+"'Might I ask you gintlemen a question?' she says, sort of pleadin'.
+'Sure I mane no harm by it. Do aither of you know a man be the name of
+Michael O'Shaughnessy?'
+
+"Me and Sim looked at each other. 'Which?' says I. 'Mike O' who?' says
+Simeon.
+
+"'Aw, don't you know him?' she begs. 'DON'T you know him? Sure I hoped
+you might. If you'd only tell me where he is I'd git on me knees and
+pray for you. O Mike, Mike! why did you leave me like this? What'll
+become of me?'
+
+"And she walks off down the hall, coverin' her face with her hands and
+cryin' as if her heart was broke.
+
+"'There! there!' says Simeon, runnin' after her, all shook up. He's a
+kind-hearted man--especially to nice-lookin' females. 'Don't act so,' he
+says. 'Be a good girl. Come right back into the settin' room and tell
+me all about it. Me and Cap'n Baker ain't got nerves, and we ain't rich,
+neither. You can talk to us. Come, come!'
+
+"She didn't know how to act, seemingly. She was like a dog that's been
+kicked so often he's suspicious of a pat on the head. And she was cryin'
+and sobbin' so, and askin' our pardon for doin' it, that it took a good
+while to get at the real yarn. But we did get it, after a spell.
+
+"It seems that the girl--her whole name was Margaret Sullivan--had
+been in this country but a month or so, havin' come from Ireland in a
+steamboat to meet the feller who'd kept comp'ny with her over there. His
+name was Michael O'Shaughnessy, and he'd been in America for four years
+or more, livin' with a cousin in Long Island City. And he'd got a good
+job at last, and he sent for her to come on and be married to him.
+And when she landed 'twas the cousin that met her. Mike had drawn a
+five-thousand-dollar prize in the Mexican lottery a week afore, and
+hadn't been seen sence.
+
+"So poor Margaret goes to the cousin's to stay. And she found them poor
+as Job's pet chicken, and havin' hardly grub enough aboard to feed the
+dozen or so little cousins, let alone free boarders like her. And so,
+havin' no money, she goes out one day to an intelligence office where
+they deal in help, and puts in a blank askin' for a job as servant girl.
+'Twas a swell place, where bigbugs done their tradin', and there she
+runs into Cousin Harriet, who was a chronic customer, always out of
+servants, owin' to the complications of Archibald and nerves. And
+Harriet hires her, because she was pretty and would work for a shavin'
+more'n nothin', and carts her right off to Connecticut. And when
+Margaret sets out to write for her trunk, and to tell where she is, she
+finds she's lost the cousin's address, and can't remember whether it's
+Umpty-eighth Street or Tin Can Avenue.
+
+"'And, oh,' says she, 'what SHALL I do? The mistress is that hard to
+please, and the child is that wicked till I want to die. And I have no
+money and no friends. O Mike! Mike!' she says. 'If you only knew you'd
+come to me. For it's a good heart he has, although the five thousand
+dollars carried away his head,' says she.
+
+"I don't believe I ever wanted to make a feller's acquaintance more than
+I done that O'Shaughnessy man's. The mean blackguard, to leave his girl
+that way. And 'twas easy to see what she'd been through with Cousin
+Harriet and that brat. We tried to comfort her all we could; promised to
+have a hunt through Long Island and the directory, and to help get her
+another place when she got back from the South, and so on. But 'twas
+kind of unsatisfactory. 'Twas her Mike she wanted.
+
+"'I told the Father about it at the church up there,' she says, 'and he
+wrote, but the letters was lost, I guess. And I thought if I might see
+a priest here in New York he might help me. But the mistress is to go at
+noon to-morrer, and I'll have no time. What SHALL I do?' says she, and
+commenced to cry again.
+
+"Then I had an idea. 'Priest?' says I. 'There's a fine big church, with
+a cross on the ridgepole of it, not five minutes' walk from this house.
+I see it as we was comin' up. Why don't you run down there this minute?'
+I says.
+
+"No, she didn't want to leave Archibald. Suppose he should wake up.
+
+"'All right,' says I. 'Then I'll go myself. And I'll fetch a priest up
+here if I have to tote him on my back, like the feller does the codfish
+in the advertisin' picture.'
+
+"I didn't have to tote him. He lived in a mighty fine house, hitched
+onto the church, and there was half a dozen assistant parsons to help
+him do his preachin'. But he was big and fat and gray-haired and as
+jolly and as kind-hearted a feller as you'd want to meet. He said he'd
+come right along; and he done it.
+
+"Phinney opened the door for us. 'What's the row?' says I, lookin' at
+his face.
+
+"'Row?' he snorts; 'there's row enough for six. That da--excuse me,
+mister--that cussed Archibald has woke up.'
+
+"He had; there wa'n't no doubt about it. And he was raisin' hob, too.
+The candy, mixed up with the dinner, had put his works in line with his
+disposition, and he was poundin' and yellin' upstairs enough to wake the
+dead. Margaret leaned over the balusters.
+
+"'Is it the Father?' she says. 'Oh, dear! what'll I do?'
+
+"'Send some of the other servants to the boy,' says the priest, 'and
+come down yourself.'
+
+"Simeon, lookin' kind of foolish, explained what had become of the other
+servants. Father McGrath--that was his name--laughed and shook all over.
+
+"'Very well,' says he. 'Then bring the young man down. Perhaps he'll be
+quiet here.'
+
+"So pretty soon down come Margaret with Archibald, full of the Old
+Scratch, as usual, dressed up gay in a kind of red blanket nighty, with
+a rope around the middle of it. The young one spotted Simeon, and set up
+a whoop.
+
+"'Oh! there's the funny whiskers,' he sings out.
+
+"'Good evenin', my son,' says the priest.
+
+"'Who's the fat man?' remarks Archibald, sociable. 'I never saw such a
+red fat man. What makes him so red and fat?'
+
+"These questions didn't make Father McGrath any paler. He laughed, of
+course, but not as if 'twas the funniest thing he ever heard.
+
+"'So you think I'm fat, do you, my boy?' says he.
+
+"'Yes, I do,' says Archibald. 'Fat and red and funny. Most as funny as
+the whisker man. I never saw such funny-lookin' people.'
+
+"He commenced to point and holler and laugh. Poor Margaret was so
+shocked and mortified she didn't know what to do.
+
+"'Stop your noise, sonny,' says I. 'This gentleman wants to talk to your
+nurse.'
+
+"The answer I got was some unexpected.
+
+"'What makes your feet so big?' says Archie, pointin' at my Sunday
+boots. 'Why do you wear shoes like that? Can't you help it? You're
+funny, too, aren't you? You're funnier than the rest of 'em.'
+
+"We all went into the library then, and Father McGrath tried to ask
+Margaret some questions. I'd told him the heft of the yarn on the way
+from the church, and he was interested. But the questionin' was mighty
+unsatisfyin'. Archibald was the whole team, and the rest of us was
+yeller dogs under the wagon.
+
+"'Can't you keep that child quiet?' asks the priest, at last, losin' his
+temper and speakin' pretty sharp.
+
+"'O Archie, dear! DO be a nice boy,' begs Margaret, for the eight
+hundredth time.
+
+"'Why don't you punish him as he deserves?'
+
+"'Father, dear, I can't. The mistress says he's so sensitive that he has
+to have his own way. I'd lose my place if I laid a hand on him.'
+
+"'Come on into the parlor and see the pictures, Archie,' says I.
+
+"'I won't,' says Archibald. 'I'm goin' to stay here and see the fat man
+make faces.'
+
+"'You see,' says Sim, apologizin' 'we can't touch him, 'cause we
+promised his ma not to interfere. And my right hand's got cramps in the
+palm of it this minute,' he adds, glarin' at the young one.
+
+"Father McGrath stood up and reached for his hat. Margaret began to cry.
+Archibald, dear, whooped and kicked the furniture. And just then the
+front-door bell rang.
+
+"For a minute I thought 'twas Cousin Harriet and the Holdens come back,
+but then I knew it was hours too early for that. Margaret was too much
+upset to be fit for company, so I answered the bell myself. And who in
+the world should be standin' on the steps but that big Dempsey man, the
+boss of the Golconda House, where me and Simeon had been stayin'; the
+feller we'd spoke to that very mornin'.
+
+"'Good evenin', sor,' says he, in a voice as deep as a well. 'I'm glad
+to find you to home, sor. There's a telegram come for you at my place,'
+he says, 'and as your friend lift the address when he come for the
+baggage this afternoon, I brought it along to yez. I was comin' this
+way, so 'twas no trouble.'
+
+"'That's real kind of you,' I says. 'Step inside a minute, won't you?'
+
+"So in he comes, and stands, holdin' his shiny beaver in his hand, while
+I tore open the telegram envelope. 'Twas a message from a feller I knew
+with the Clyde Line of steamboats. He had found out, somehow, that we
+was in New York, and the telegram was an order for us to come and make
+him a visit.
+
+"'I hope it's not bad news, sor,' says the big chap.
+
+"'No, no,' says I. 'Not a bit of it, Mr. Dempsey. Come on in and have a
+cigar, won't you?'
+
+"'Thank you, sor,' says he. 'I'm glad it's not the bad news. Sure, I ax
+you and your friend's pardon for bein' so short to yez this mornin', but
+I'm in that throuble lately that me timper is all but gone.'
+
+"'That so?' says I. 'Trouble's thick in this world, ain't it? Me and Mr.
+Phinney got a case of trouble on our hands now, Mr. Dempsey, and--'
+
+"'Excuse me, sor,' he says. 'My name's not Dempsey. I suppose you seen
+the sign with me partner's name on it. I only bought into the business
+a while ago, and the new sign's not ready yit. Me name is O'Shaughnessy,
+sor.'
+
+"'What?' says I. And then: 'WHAT?'
+
+"'O'Shaughnessy. Michael O'Shaughnessy. I--'
+
+"'Hold on!' I sung out. 'For the land sakes, hold on! WHAT'S your name?'
+
+"He bristled up like a cat.
+
+"'Michael O'Shaughnessy,' he roars, like the bull of Bashan. 'D'yez
+find any fault with it? 'Twas me father's before me--Michael Patrick
+O'Shaughnessy, of County Sligo. I'll have yez know--WHAT'S THAT?'
+
+"'Twas a scream from the libr'ry. Next thing I knew, Margaret, the nurse
+girl, was standin' in the hall, white as a Sunday shirt, and swingin'
+back and forth like a wild-carrot stalk in a gale.
+
+"'Mike!' says she, kind of low and faint. 'Mary be good to us! MIKE!'
+
+"And the big chap dropped his tall hat on the floor and turned as white
+as she was.
+
+"'MAGGIE!' he hollers. And then they closed in on one another.
+
+"Sim and the priest and Archie had followed the girl into the hall. Me
+and Phinney was too flabbergasted to do anything, but big Father McGrath
+was cool as an ice box. When Archibald, like the little imp he was, sets
+up a whoop and dives for them two, the priest grabs him by the rope of
+the blanket nighty and swings him into the libr'ry, and shuts the door
+on him.
+
+"'And now,' says he, takin' Sim and me by the arms and leadin' us to the
+parlor, 'we'll just step in here and wait a bit.'
+
+"We waited, maybe, ten minutes. Archibald, dear, shut up in the libr'ry,
+was howlin' blue murder, but nobody paid any attention to him. Then
+there was a knock on the door between us and the hall, and Father
+McGrath opened it. There they was, the two of 'em--Mike and
+Maggie--lookin' red and foolish--but happy, don't talk!
+
+"'You see, sor,' says the O'Shaughnessy man to me, ''twas the
+five-thousand-dollar prize that done it. I'd been workin' at me trade,
+sor--larnin' to tind bar it was--and I'd just got a new job where the
+pay was pretty good, and I'd sint over for Maggie, and was plannin' for
+the little flat we was to have, and the like of that, when I drew that
+prize. And the joy of it was like handin' me a jolt on the jaw. It put
+me out for two weeks, sor, and when I come to I was in Baltimore, where
+I'd gone to collect the money; and two thousand of the five was gone,
+and I knew me job in New York was gone, and I was that shamed and sick
+it took me three days more to make up me mind to come to me Cousin
+Tim's, where I knew Maggie'd be waitin' for me. And when I did come back
+she was gone, too.'
+
+"'And then,' says Father McGrath, sharp, 'I suppose you went on another
+spree, and spent the rest of the money.'
+
+"'I did not, sor--axin' your pardon for contradictin' your riverence.
+I signed the pledge, and I'll keep it, with Maggie to help me. I put
+me three thousand into a partnership with me friend Dempsey, who was
+runnin' the Golconda House--'tis over on the East Side, with a fine bar
+trade--and I'm doin' well, barrin' that I've been crazy for this poor
+girl, and advertisin' and--'
+
+"'And look at the clothes of him!' sings out Margaret, reverentlike.
+'And is that YOUR tall hat, Mike? To think of you with a tall hat! Sure
+it's a proud girl I am this day. Saints forgive me, I've forgot Archie!'
+
+"And afore we could stop her she'd run into the hall and unfastened
+the libr'ry door. It took her some time to smooth down the young one's
+sensitive feelin's, and while she was gone, me and Simeon told the
+O'Shaughnessy man a little of what his girl had had to put up with along
+of Cousin Harriet and Archibald. He was mad.
+
+"'Is that the little blackguard?' he asks, pointin' to Archibald, who
+had arrived by now.
+
+"'That's the one,' says I.
+
+"Archibald looked up at him and grinned, sassy as ever.
+
+"'Father McGrath,' asks O'Shaughnessy, determined like, 'can you marry
+us this night?'
+
+"'I can,' says the Father.
+
+"'And will yez?'
+
+"'I will, with pleasure.'
+
+"'Maggie,' says Mike, 'get your hat and jacket on and come with the
+Father and me this minute. These gintlemen here will explain to your
+lady when she comes back. But YOU'LL come back no more. We'll send for
+your trunk to-morrer.'
+
+"Even then the girl hesitated. She'd been so used to bein' a slave that
+I suppose she couldn't realize she was free at last.
+
+"'But, Mike, dear,' she says. 'I--oh, your lovely hat! Put it down,
+Archie, darlin'. Put it down!'
+
+"Archibald had been doin' a little cruisin' on his own hook, and he'd
+dug up Mike's shiny beaver where it had been dropped in the hall. Now he
+was dancin' round with it, bangin' it on the top as if it was a drum.
+
+"'Put it down, PLEASE!' pleads Margaret. 'Twas plain that that plug was
+a crown of glory to her.
+
+"'Drop it, you little thafe!' yells O'Shaughnessy, makin' a dive for the
+boy.
+
+"'I won't!' screams Archibald, and starts to run. He tripped over the
+corner of a mat, and fell flat. The plug hat was underneath him, and it
+fell flat, too.
+
+"'Oh! oh! oh!' wails Margaret, wringin' her hands. 'Your beautiful hat,
+Mike!'
+
+"Mike's face was like a sunset.
+
+"'Your reverence,' says he, 'tell me this; don't the wife promise to
+"obey" in the marriage service?'
+
+"'She does,' says Father McGrath.
+
+"'D'ye hear that, you that's to be Margaret O'Shaughnessy? You do? Well,
+then, as your husband that's to be in tin minutes, I order you to give
+that small divil what's comin' to him. D'ye hear me? Will yez obey me,
+or will yez not?'
+
+"She didn't know what to do. You could see she wanted to--her fingers
+was itchin' to do it, but--And then Archie held up the ruins of the hat
+and commenced to laugh.
+
+"That settled it. Next minute he was across her knee and gettin' what
+he'd been sufferin' for ever sence he was born; and gettin' all the back
+numbers along with it, too.
+
+"And in the midst of the performance Sim Phinney leans over to me with
+the most heavenly, resigned expression on his face, and says he:
+
+"'It ain't OUR fault, Hiram. We promised not to interfere.'"
+
+"What did Sam Holden and his wife say when they got home?" asked Captain
+Sol, when the triumphant whoops over Archibald's righteous chastisement
+had subsided.
+
+"We didn't give him much of a chance to say anything. I laid for him in
+the hall when he arrived and told him that Phinney had got a telegram
+and must leave immediate. He wanted to know why, and a whole lot more,
+but I told him we'd write it. Neither Sim nor me cared to face Cousin
+Harriet after her darlin' son had spun his yarn. Ha! ha! I'd like to
+have seen her face--from a safe distance."
+
+Captain Bailey Stitt cleared his throat. "Referrin' to them
+automobiles," he said, "I--"
+
+"Say, Sol," interrupted Wingate, "did I ever tell you of Cap'n Jonadab's
+and my gettin' took up by the police when WE was in New York?"
+
+"No," replied the astounded depot master. "Took up by the POLICE?"
+
+"Um--hm. Surprises you, don't it? Well, that whole trip was a surprise
+to me.
+
+"When Laban Thorp set out to thrash his son and the boy licked him
+instead, they found the old man settin' in the barnyard, holdin' on to
+his nose and grinnin' for pure joy.
+
+"'Hurt?' says he. 'Why, some. But think of it! Only think of it! I
+didn't believe Bill had it in him.'
+
+"Well, that's the way I felt when Cap'n Jonadab sprung the New York plan
+on to me. I was pretty nigh as much surprised as Labe. The idea of a man
+with a chronic case of lockjaw of the pocketbook, same as Jonadab had
+worried along under ever sence I knew him, suddenly breakin' loose with
+a notion to go to New York on a pleasure cruise! 'Twas too many for me.
+I set and looked at him.
+
+"'Oh, I mean it, Barzilla,' he says. 'I ain't been to New York sence I
+was mate on the Emma Snow, and that was 'way back in the eighties. That
+is, to stop I ain't. That time we went through on the way to Peter T.'s
+weddin' don't count, 'cause we only went in the front door and out the
+back, like Squealer Wixon went through high school. Let's you and me go
+and stay two or three days and have a real high old time,' says he.
+
+"I fetched a long breath. 'Jonadab,' I says, don't scare a feller this
+way; I've got a weak heart. If you're goin' to start in and be divilish
+in your old age, why, do it kind of gradual. Let's go over to the
+billiard room and have a bottle of sass'parilla and a five-cent cigar,
+just to break the ice.'
+
+"But that only made him mad.
+
+"'You talk like a fish,' he says. 'I mean it. Why can't we go? It's
+September, the Old Home House is shut up for the season, you and me's
+done well--fur's profits are concerned--and we ought to have a change,
+anyway. We've got to stay here in Orham all winter.'
+
+"'Have you figgered out how much it's goin' to cost?' I asked him.
+
+"Yes, he had. 'It won't be so awful expensive,' he says. 'I've got some
+stock in the railroad and that'll give me a pass fur's Fall River. And
+we can take a lunch to eat on the boat. And a stateroom's a dollar;
+that's fifty cents apiece. And my daughter's goin' to Denboro on a
+visit next week, so I'd have to pay board if I stayed to home. Come on,
+Barzilla! don't be so tight with your money.'
+
+"So I said I'd go, though I didn't have any pass, nor no daughter to
+feed me free gratis for nothin' when I got back. And when we started,
+on the followin' Monday, nothin' would do but we must be at the depot
+at two o'clock so's not to miss the train, which left at quarter past
+three.
+
+"I didn't sleep much that night on the boat. For one thing, our
+stateroom was a nice lively one, alongside of the paddle box and just
+under the fog whistle; and for another, the supper that Jonadab had
+brought, bein' mainly doughnuts and cheese, wa'n't the best cargo to
+take to bed with you. But it didn't make much diff'rence, 'cause we
+turned out at four, so's to see the scenery and git our money's worth.
+What was left of the doughnuts and cheese we had for breakfast.
+
+"We made the dock on time, and the next thing was to pick out a hotel.
+I was for cruisin' along some of the main streets until we hove in sight
+of a place that looked sociable and not too expensive. But no; Jonadab
+had it all settled for me. We was goin' to the 'Wayfarer's Inn,' a
+boardin' house where he'd put up once when he was mate of the Emma Snow.
+He said 'twas a fine place and you could git as good ham and eggs there
+as a body'd want to eat.
+
+"So we set sail for the 'Wayfarer's,' and of all the times gittin' to a
+place--don't talk! We asked no less than nine policemen and one hundred
+and two other folks, and it cost us thirty cents in car fares, which
+pretty nigh broke Jonadab's heart. However, we found it, finally, 'way
+off amongst a nest of brick houses and peddler carts and children, and
+it wa'n't the 'Wayfarer's Inn' no more, but was down in the shippin'
+list as the 'Golconda House.' Jonadab said the neighborhood had changed
+some sence he was there, but he guessed we'd better chance it, 'cause
+the board was cheap.
+
+"We had a nine-by-ten room up aloft somewheres, and there we set down on
+the edge of the bed and a chair to take account of stock, as you might
+say.
+
+"'Now, I tell you, Jonadab,' says I; 'we don't want to waste no time,
+and we've got the day afore us. What do you say if we cruise along
+the water front for a spell? There's ha'f a dozen Orham folks aboard
+diff'rent steamers that hail from this port, and 'twouldn't be no more'n
+neighborly to call on 'em. There's Silas Baker's boy, Asa--he's with the
+Savannah Line and he'd be mighty glad to see us. And there's--'
+
+"But Jonadab held up his hand. He'd been mysterious as a baker's mince
+pie ever sence we started, hintin' at somethin' he'd got to do when we'd
+got to New York. And now he out with it.
+
+"'Barzilla,' he says, 'I ain't sayin' but what I'd like to go to the
+wharves with you, first rate. And we will go, too. But afore we do
+anything else I've got an errand that must be attended to. 'Twas give
+to me by a dyin' man,' he says, 'and I promised him I'd do it. So that
+comes first of all.'
+
+"He got his wallet out of his inside vest pocket, where it had been
+pinned in tight to keep it safe from robbers, unwound a foot or so of
+leather strap, and dug up a yeller piece of paper that looked old enough
+to be Methusalem's will, pretty nigh.
+
+"'Do you remember Patrick Kelly in Orham?' he asks.
+
+"'Who?' says I. 'Pat Kelly, the Irishman, that lived in the little old
+shack back of your barn? Course I do. But he's been dead for I don't
+know how long.'
+
+"'I know he has. Do you remember his boy Jim that run away from home?'
+
+"'Let's see,' I says. 'Seems to me I do. Freckled, red-headed rooster,
+wa'n't he? And of all the imps of darkness that ever--'
+
+"'S-sh-sh!' he interrupted solemn. 'Don't say that now, Barzilla. Sounds
+kind of irreverent. Well, me and old Pat was pretty friendly, in a way,
+though he did owe me rent. When he was sick with the pleurisy he sends
+for me and he says, "Cap'n 'Wixon," says he, "you're pretty close with
+the money," he says--he was kind of out of his head at the time and
+liable to say foolish things--"you're pretty close," he says, "but
+you're a man of your word. My boy Jimmie, that run away, was the apple
+of my eye."'
+
+"'That's what he said about his girl Maggie that was took up for
+stealin' Mrs. Elkanah Higgins's spoons,' I says. 'He had a healthy crop
+of apples in HIS orchard.'
+
+"'S-sh-h! DON'T talk so! I feel as if the old man's spirit was with
+us this minute. "He's the apple of my eye," he says, "and he run away,
+after me latherin' the life out of him with a wagon spoke. 'Twas all
+for his good, but he didn't understand, bein' but a child. And now I've
+heard," he says, "that he's workin' at 116 East Blank Street in the city
+of New York. Cap'n Wixon, you're a man of money and a travelin' man," he
+says (I was fishin' in them days). "When you go to New York," he says,
+"I want you to promise me to go to the address on this paper and hunt
+up Jimmie. Tell him I forgive him for lickin' him," he says, "and die
+happy. Will you promise me that, Cap'n, on your word as a gentleman?"
+And I promised him. And he died in less than ten months afterwards, poor
+thing.'
+
+"'But that was sixteen--eighteen--nineteen years ago,' says I. 'And the
+boy run away three years afore that. You've been to New York in the past
+nineteen years, once anyhow.'
+
+"'I know it. But I forgot. I'm ashamed of it, but I forgot. And when
+I was goin' through the things up attic at my daughter's last Friday,
+seein' what I could find for the rummage sale at the church, I come
+across my old writin' desk, and in it was this very piece of paper with
+the address on it just as I wrote it down. And me startin' for New York
+in three days! Barzilla, I swan to man, I believe something SENT me to
+that attic.'
+
+"I knew what sent him there and so did the church folks, judgin' by
+their remarks when the contribution came in. But I was too much set back
+by the whole crazy business to say anything about that.
+
+"'Look here, Jonadab Wixon,' I sings out, 'do you mean to tell me that
+we've got to put in the whole forenoon ransackin' New York to find a boy
+that run off twenty-two years ago?'
+
+"'It won't take the forenoon,' he says. 'I've got the number, ain't I?'
+
+"'Yes, you've got the number where he WAS. If you want to know where I
+think he's likely to be now, I'd try the jail.'
+
+"But he said I was unfeelin' and disobligin' and lots more, so, to cut
+the argument short, I agreed to go. And off we put to hunt up 116
+East Blank Street. And when we located it, after a good hour of askin'
+questions, and payin' car fares and wearin' out shoe leather, 'twas a
+Chinese laundry.
+
+"'Well,' I says, sarcastic, 'here we be. Which one of the heathen do you
+think is Jimmie? If he had an inch or so more of upper lip, I'd gamble
+on that critter with the pink nighty and the baskets on his feet. He has
+a kind of familiar chicken-stealin' look in his eye. Oh, come down on
+the wharves, Jonadab, and be sensible.'
+
+"Would you believe it, he wa'n't satisfied. We must go into the wash
+shop and ask the Chinamen if they knew Jimmie Kelly. So we went in and
+the powwow begun.
+
+"'Twas a mighty unsatisfyin' interview. Jonadab's idea of talkin' to
+furriners is to yell at 'em as if they was stone deef. If they don't
+understand what you say, yell louder. So between his yells and the
+heathen's jabber and grunts the hullabaloo was worse than a cat in a hen
+yard. Folks begun to stop outside the door and listen and grin.
+
+"'What did he say?' asks the Cap'n, turnin' to me.
+
+"'I don't know,' says I, 'but I cal'late he's gettin' ready to send
+a note up to the crazy asylum. Come on out of here afore I go loony
+myself.'
+
+"So he done it, finally, cross as all get out, and swearin' that all
+Chinese was no good and oughtn't to be allowed in this country. But he
+wouldn't give up, not yet. He must scare up some of the neighbors and
+ask them. The fifth man that we asked was an old chap who remembered
+that there used to be a liquor saloon once where the laundry was now.
+But he didn't know who run it or what had become of him.
+
+"'Never mind,' I says. 'You're as warm as you're likely to be this trip.
+A rum shop is just about the place I'd expect that Kelly boy WOULD be
+in. And, if he's like the rest of his relations on his dad's side, he
+drank himself to death years ago. NOW will you head for the Savannah
+Line?'
+
+"Not much, he wouldn't. He had another notion. We'd look in the
+directory. That seemed to have a glimmer of sense somewheres in its
+neighborhood, so we found an apothecary store and the clerk handed us
+out a book once again as big as a church Bible.
+
+"'Kelly,' says Jonadab. 'Yes, here 'tis. Now, "James Kelly." Land of
+Love! Barzilla, look here.'
+
+"I looked, and there wa'n't no less than a dozen pages of James Kellys
+beginning with fifty James A.'s and endin' with four James Z.'s. The Y
+in 'New York' ought to be a C, judgin' by that directory.
+
+"'Godfrey mighty!' I says. 'This ain't no forenoon's job, Jonadab. If
+you're goin' through that list you'll have to spend the rest of your
+life here. Only, unless you want to be lonesome, you'll have to change
+your name to Kelly.'
+
+"'If I'd only got his middle letter,' says he, mournful, ''twould have
+been easier. He had four middle names, if I remember right--the old man
+was great on names--and 'twas too much trouble to write 'em all down.
+Well, I've done my duty, anyhow. We'll go and call on Ase Baker.'
+
+"But 'twas after eleven o'clock then, and the doughnuts and cheese I
+had for breakfast was beginnin' to feel as if they wanted company. So we
+decided to go back to the Golconda and have some dinner first.
+
+"We had ham and eggs for dinner, some that was left over from the last
+time Jonadab stopped there, I cal'late. Lucky there was hot bread and
+coffee on the bill or we'd never got a square meal. Then we went up to
+our room and the Cap'n laid down on the bed. He was beat out, he said,
+and wanted to rest up a spell afore haulin' anchor for another cruise."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XII
+
+A VISION SENT
+
+
+"Where's the arrestin' come in?" demanded Stitt.
+
+"Comes quick now, Bailey. Plenty quick enough for me and Jonadab, I tell
+you that! After we got to our room the Cap'n went to sleep pretty soon
+and I set in the one chair, readin' the newspaper and wishin' I hadn't
+ate so many of the warm bricks that the Golconda folks hoped was
+biscuit. They made me feel like a schooner goin' home in ballast. I
+guess I was drowsin' off myself, but there comes a most unearthly yell
+from the bed and I jumped ha'f out of the chair. There was Jonadab
+settin' up and lookin' wild.
+
+"'What in the world?' says I.
+
+"'Oh! Ugh! My soul!' says he.
+
+"'Your soul, hey?' says I. 'Is that all? I thought mebbe you'd lost a
+quarter.'
+
+"'Barzilla,' he says, comin' to and starin' at me solemn, 'Barzilla,
+I've had a dream--a wonderful dream.'
+
+"'Well,' I says, 'I ain't surprised. A feller that h'isted in as much
+fried dough as you did ought to expect--'
+
+"'But I tell you 'twas a WONDERFUL dream,' he says. 'I dreamed I was on
+Blank Street, where we was this mornin', and Patrick Kelly comes to me
+and p'ints his finger right in my face. I see him as plain as I see
+you now. And he says to me--he said it over and over, two or three
+times--Seventeen," says he, "Seventeen." Now what do you think of that?'
+
+"'Humph!' I says. 'I ain't surprised. I think 'twas just seventeen
+of them biscuits that you got away with. Wonder to me you didn't see
+somebody worse'n old Pat.'
+
+"But he was past jokin'. You never see a man so shook up by the
+nightmare as he was by that one. He kept goin' over it and tellin' how
+natural old Kelly looked and how many times he said 'Seventeen' to him.
+
+"'Now what did he mean by it?' he says. 'Don't tell me that was a common
+dream, 'cause twa'n't. No, sir, 'twas a vision sent to me, and I know
+it. But what did he mean?'
+
+"'I think he meant you was seventeen kinds of an idiot,' I snorts,
+disgusted. 'Get up off that bed and stop wavin' your arms, will you?
+He didn't mean for you to turn yourself into a windmill, that's sartin
+sure.'
+
+"Then he hits his knee a slap that sounds like a window blind blowin'
+to. 'I've got it!' he sings out. 'He meant for me to go to number
+seventeen on that street. That's what he meant.'
+
+"I laughed and made fun of him, but I might as well have saved my
+breath. He was sure Pat Kelly's ghost had come hikin' back from the
+hereafter to tell him to go to 17 Blank Street and find his boy. 'Else
+why was he ON Blank Street?' he says. 'You tell me that.'
+
+"I couldn't tell him. It's enough for me to figger out what makes live
+folks act the way they do, let alone dead ones. And Cap'n Jonadab was a
+Spiritu'list on his mother's side. It ended by my agreein' to give the
+Jimmie chase one more try.
+
+"'But it's got to be the last,' I says. 'When you get to number
+seventeen don't you say you think the old man meant to say "seventy" and
+stuttered.'
+
+"Number 17 Blank Street was a little combination fruit and paper store
+run by an Eyetalian with curly hair and the complexion of a molasses
+cooky. His talk sounded as if it had been run through a meat chopper.
+All he could say was, 'Nica grape, genta'men? On'y fifteen cent a pound.
+Nica grape? Nica apple? Nica pear? Nica ploom?'
+
+"'Kelly?' says Jonadab, hollerin' as usual. 'Kelly! d'ye understand?
+K-E-L-Kel L-Y-ly, Kelly. YOU know, KELLY! We want to find him.'
+
+"And just then up steps a feller about six feet high and three foot
+through. He was dressed in checkerboard clothes, some gone to seed, and
+you could hardly see the blue tie he had on for the glass di'mond in
+it. Oh, he was a little wilted now--for the lack of water, I judge--but
+'twas plain that he'd been a sunflower in his time. He'd just come out
+of a liquor store next door to the fruit shop and was wipin' his mouth
+with the back of his hand.
+
+"'What's this I hear?' says he, fetchin' Jonadab a welt on the back like
+a mast goin' by the board. 'Is it me friend Kelly you're lookin' for?'
+
+"I was just goin' to tell him no, not likin' his looks, but Jonadab cut
+in ahead of me, out of breath from the earthquake the feller had landed
+him, but excited as could be.
+
+"'Yes, yes!' says he. 'It's Mr. Kelly we want. Do you know him?'
+
+"'Do I know him? Why, me bucko, 'tis me old college chum he is. Come on
+with me and we'll give him the glad hand.'
+
+"He grabs Jonadab by the arm and starts along the sidewalk, steerin' a
+toler'ble crooked course, but gainin' steady by jerks.
+
+"'I was on me way to Kelly's place now,' says he. 'And here it is. Sure
+didn't I bate the bookies blind on Rosebud but yesterday--or was it the
+day before? I don't know, but come on, me lads, and we'll do him again.'
+
+"He turned in at a little narrer entry-like, and went stumblin' up a
+flight of dirty stairs. I caught hold of Jonadab's coat tails and pulled
+him back.
+
+"'Where you goin', you crazy loon?' I whispered. 'Can't you see he's
+three sheets in the wind? And you haven't told him what Kelly you want,
+nor nothin'.'
+
+"But I might as well have hollered at a stone wall. 'I don't care if
+he's as fur gone in liquor as Belshazzer's goat,' sputters the Cap'n,
+all worked up. 'He's takin' us to a Kelly, ain't he? And is it likely
+there'd be another one within three doors of the number I dreamed
+about? Didn't I tell you that dream was a vision sent? Don't lay to NOW,
+Barzilla, for the land sakes! It's Providence a-workin'.'
+
+"'Cording to my notion the sunflower looked more like an agent from
+t'other end of the line than one from Providence, but just then he
+commenced to yell for us and upstairs we went, Jonadab first.
+
+"'Whisht!' says the checkerboard, holdin' on to Jonadab's collar and
+swingin' back and forth. 'Before we proceed to blow in on me friend
+Kelly, let us come to an understandin' concernin' and touchin'
+on--and--and--I don't know. But b'ys,' says he, solemn and confidential,
+'are you on the square? Are yez dead game sports, hey?'
+
+"'Yes, yes!' says Jonadab. 'Course we be. Mr. Kelly and us are old
+friends. We've come I don't know how fur on purpose to see him. Now
+where's--'
+
+"'Say no more,' hollers the feller. 'Say no more. Come on with yez.' And
+he marches down the dark hall to a door with a 'To let' sign on it and
+fetches it a bang with his fist. It opens a little ways and a face shows
+in the crack.
+
+"'Hello, Frank!' hails the sunflower, cheerful. 'Will you take that ugly
+mug of yours out of the gate and lave me friends in?'
+
+"'What's the matter wid you, Mike?' asks the chap at the door. 'Yer
+can't bring them two yaps in here and you know it. Gwan out of this.'
+
+"He tried to shut the door, but the checkerboard had his foot between it
+and the jamb. You might as well have tried to shove in the broadside of
+an ocean liner as to push against that foot.
+
+"'These gents are friends of mine,' says he. 'Frank, I'll do yez the
+honor of an introduction to Gin'ral Grant and Dan'l O'Connell. Open that
+door and compose your face before I'm obliged to break both of 'em.'
+
+"'But I tell you, Mike, I can't,' says the door man, lookin' scared.
+'The boss is out, and you know--'
+
+"'WILL you open that door?' roars the big chap. And with that he hove
+his shoulder against the panels and jammed the door open by main force,
+all but flattenin' the other feller behind it. 'Walk in, Gin'ral,' he
+says to Jonadab, and in we went, me wonderin' what was comin' next, and
+not darin' to guess.
+
+"There was a kind of partitioned off hallway inside, with another door
+in the partition. We opened that, and there was a good-sized room,
+filled with men, smokin' and standin' around. A high board fence was
+acrost one end of the room, and from behind it comes a jinglin' of
+telephone bells and the sounds of talk. The floor was covered with
+torn papers, the window blinds was shut, the gas was burnin' blue, and,
+between it and the smoke, the smells was as various as them in a fish
+glue factory. On the fence was a couple of blackboards with 'Belmont'
+and 'Brighton' and suchlike names in chalk wrote on 'em, and
+beneath that a whole mess in writin' and figures like, 'Red Tail
+4--Wt--108--Jock Smith--5--1,' 'Sourcrout 5--Wt--99--Jock Jones--20--5,'
+and similar rubbish. And the gang--a mighty mixed lot--was scribblin'
+in little books and watchin' each other as if they was afraid of havin'
+their pockets picked; though, to look at 'em, you'd have guessed the
+biggest part had nothin' in their pockets but holes.
+
+"The six-foot checkerboard--who, it turned out, answered to the hail of
+'Mike'--seemed to be right at home with the gang. He called most of 'em
+by their first names and went sasshayin' around, weltin' 'em on the back
+and tellin' 'em how he'd 'put crimps in the bookies rolls t'other day,'
+and a lot more stuff that they seemed to understand, but was hog Greek
+to me and Jonadab. He'd forgot us altogether which was a mercy the way I
+looked at it, and I steered the Cap'n over into a corner and we come to
+anchor on a couple of rickety chairs.
+
+"'What--why--what kind of a place IS this, Barzilla?' whispers Jonadab,
+scared.
+
+"'Sh-h-h!' says I. 'Land knows. Just set quiet and hang on to your
+watch.'
+
+"'But--but I want to find Kelly,' says he.
+
+"'I'd give somethin' to find a back door,' says I. 'Ain't this a
+collection of dock rats though! If this is a part of your dream,
+Jonadab, I wish you'd turn over and wake up. Oh land! here's one
+murderer headin' this way. Keep your change in your fist and keep the
+fist shut.'
+
+"A more'n average rusty peep, with a rubber collar on and no necktie,
+comes slinkin' over to us. He had a smile like a crack in a plate.
+
+"'Say, gents,' he says, 'have you made your bets yet? I've got a dead
+straight line on the handicap,' says he, 'and I'll put you next for a
+one spot. It's a sure t'ing at fifteen to three. What do you say?'
+
+"I didn't say nuthin'; but that fool dream was rattlin' round in
+Jonadab's skull like a bean in a blowgun, and he sees a chance for a
+shot.
+
+"'See here, mister,' he says. 'Can you tell me where to locate Mr.
+Kelly?'
+
+"'Who--Pete?' says the feller. 'Oh, he ain't in just now. But about that
+handicap. I like the looks of youse and I'll let youse in for a dollar.
+Or, seein' it's you, we'll say a half. Only fifty cents. I wouldn't do
+better for my own old man,' he says.
+
+"While the Cap'n was tryin' to unravel one end of this gibberish I spoke
+up prompt.
+
+"'Say,' says I, 'tell me this, will you? Is the Kelly who owns
+this--this palace, named Jimmie--James, I mean?'
+
+"'Naw,' says he. 'Sure he ain't. It's Pete Kelly, of course--Silver
+Pete. But what are you givin' us? Are you bettin' on the race, or ain't
+you?'
+
+"Well, Jonadab understood that. He bristled up like a brindled cat.
+If there's any one thing the Cap'n is down on, it's gamblin' and
+such--always exceptin' when he knows he's won already. You've seen that
+kind, maybe.
+
+"'Young feller,' he says, perkish, 'I want you to know that me and my
+friend ain't the bettin' kind. What sort of a hole IS this, anyway?'
+
+"The rubber collared critter backed off, lookin' worried. He goes acrost
+the room, and I see him talkin' to two or three other thieves as tough
+as himself. And they commenced to stare at us and scowl.
+
+"'Come on,' I whispered to Jonadab. 'Let's get out of this place while
+we can. There ain't no Jimmie Kelly here, or if there is you don't want
+to find him.'
+
+"He was as willin' to make tracks as I was, by this time, and we headed
+for the door in the partition. But Rubber Collar and some of the others
+got acrost our bows.
+
+"'Cut it out,' says one of 'em. 'You can't get away so easy. Hi, Frank!
+Frank! Who let these turnip pullers in here, anyhow? Who are they?'
+
+"The chap who was tendin' door comes out of his coop. 'You've got me,'
+he says. 'They come in with Big Mike, and he was loaded and scrappy and
+jammed 'em through. Said they was pals of his. Where is he?'
+
+"There was a hunt for Mike, and, when they got his bearin's, there
+he was keeled over on a bench, breathin' like an escape valve. And an
+admiral's salute wouldn't have woke him up. The whole crew was round us
+by this time, some ugly, and the rest laffin' and carryin' on.
+
+"'It's the Barkwurst gang,' says one.
+
+"'It's old Bark himself,' says another. 'Look at them lace curtains.'
+And he points to Jonadab's whiskers.
+
+"'This one's Jacobs in disguise,' sings out somebody else. 'You can tell
+him by the Rube get-up. Haw! haw!'
+
+"'Soak 'em! Do 'em up! Don't let 'em out!' hollers a ha'f dozen more.
+
+"Jonadab was game; I'll say that for him. And I hadn't been second mate
+in my time for nothin'.
+
+"'Take your hands off me!' yells the Cap'n. 'I come in here to find
+a man I'm lookin' for, James Kelly it was, and--You would, would you!
+Stand by, Barzilla!'
+
+"I stood by. Rubber Collar got one from me that made him remember home
+and mother, I'll bet. Anyhow, my knuckles ached for two days afterwards.
+And Jonadab was just as busy. But I cal'late we'd have been ready for
+the oven in another five minutes if the door hadn't bu'st open with a
+bang, and a loud dressed chap, with the sweat pourin' down his face,
+come tearin' in.
+
+"'Beat it, fellers!' he yells. 'The place is goin' to be pinched. I've
+just had the tip, and they're right on top of me.'
+
+"THEN there was times. Everybody was shoutin' and swearin' and fallin'
+over each other to get out. I was kind of lost in the shuffle, and
+the next thing I remember for sartin is settin' up on Rubber Collar's
+stomach and lookin' foggy at the door, where the loud dressed man was
+wrestlin' with a policeman. And there was police at the windows and all
+around.
+
+"Well, don't talk! I got up, resurrects Jonadab from under a heap of
+gamblers and furniture, and makes for harbor in our old corner. The
+police was mighty busy, especially a fat, round-faced, red-mustached
+man, with gold bands on his cap and arms, that the rest called 'Cap'n.'
+Him and the loud dressed chap who'd give the alarm was talkin' earnest
+close to us.
+
+"'I can't help it, Pete,' says the police cap'n. ''Twas me or the Vice
+Suppression crowd. They've been on to you for two weeks back. I only
+just got in ahead of 'em as it was. No, you'll have to go along with
+the rest and take your chances. Quiet now, everybody, or you'll get it
+harder,' he roars, givin' orders like the skipper of a passenger boat.
+'Stand in line and wait your turns for the wagon.'
+
+"Jonadab grabbed me by the wrist. He was pale and shakin' all over.
+
+"'Oh, Lordy!' says he, 'we're took up. Will we have to go to jail, do
+you think?'
+
+"'I don't know,' I says, disgusted. 'I presume likely we will. Did you
+dream anything like this? You'd better see if you can't dream yourself
+out now.' Twas rubbin' it in, but I was mad.
+
+"'Oh! oh!' says he, flappin' his hands. 'And me a deacon of the church!
+Will folks know it, do you think?'
+
+"'Will they know it! Sounds as if they knew it already. Just listen to
+that.'
+
+"The first wagon full of prizes was bein' loaded in down at the front
+door, and the crowd outside was cheerin' 'em. Judgin' by the whoops and
+hurrahs there wa'n't no less than a million folks at the show, and they
+was gettin' the wuth of admission.
+
+"'Oh, dear!' groans Jonadab. 'And it'll be in the papers and all! I
+can't stand this.'
+
+"And afore I could stop him he'd run over and tackled the head
+policeman.
+
+"'Mister--Mister Cap'n,' he says, pantin', 'there's been a mistake, an
+awful mis--take--'
+
+"'That's right,' says the police cap'n, 'there has. Six or eight of you
+tin horns got clear. But--' Then he noticed who was speakin' to him
+and his mouth dropped open like a hatch. 'Well, saints above!' he says.
+'Have the up-state delegates got to buckin' the ponies, too? Why ain't
+you back home killin' pertater bugs? You ought to be ashamed.'
+
+"'But we wa'n't gamblin'--me and my friend wa'n't. We was led in here
+by mistake. We was told that a feller named Kelly lived here and we're
+huntin' for a man of that name. I've got a message to him from his poor
+dead father back in Orham. We come all the way from Orham, Mass.--to
+find him and--'
+
+"The police cap'n turned around then and stared at him hard. 'Humph!'
+says he, after a spell. 'Go over there and set down till I want you. No,
+you'll go now and we'll waste no breath on it. Go on, do you hear!'
+
+"So we went, and there we set for ha'f an hour, while the rest of the
+gang and the blackboards and the paper slips and the telephones and Big
+Mike and his chair was bein' carted off to the wagon. Once, when one of
+the constables was beatin' acrost to get us, the police cap'n spoke to
+him.
+
+"'You can leave these two,' he says. 'I'll take care of them.'
+
+"So, finally, when there was nothin' left but the four walls and us and
+some of the police, he takes me and Jonadab by the elbows and heads for
+the door.
+
+"'Now,' says he, 'walk along quiet and peaceable and tell me all about
+it. Get out of this!' he shouts to the crowd of small boys and loafers
+on the sidewalk, 'or I'll take you, too.'
+
+"The outsiders fell astern, lookin' heartbroke and disapp'inted that we
+wa'n't hung on the spot, and the fat boss policeman and us two paraded
+along slow but grand. I felt like the feller that was caught robbin'
+the poorhouse, and I cal'late Jonadab felt the same, only he was so
+busy beggin' and pleadin' and explainin' that he couldn't stop to feel
+anything.
+
+"He told it all, the whole fool yarn from one end to t'other. How old
+Pat give him the message and how he went to the laundry, and about his
+ridiculous dream, every word. And the fat policeman shook all over, like
+a barrel of cod livers.
+
+"By and by we got to a corner of a street and hove to. I could see
+the station house loomin' up large ahead. Fatty took a card from his
+pocketbook, wrote on it with a pencil, and then hailed a hack, one of
+them stern-first kind where the driver sits up aloft 'way aft. He pushed
+back the cap with the gilt wreath on it, and I could see his red hair
+shinin' like a sunset.
+
+"'Here,' says he to the hack driver, 'take these--this pair of salads
+to the--what d'ye call it?--the Golconda House, wherever on top of the
+pavement that is. And mind you, deliver 'em safe and don't let the truck
+horses get a bite at 'em. And at half-past eight to-night you call for
+'em and bring 'em here,' handin' up the card he'd written on.
+
+"''Tis the address of my house, I'm givin',' he says, turnin' to
+Jonadab. 'I'll be off duty then and we'll have dinner and talk about old
+times. To think of you landin' in Silver Pete's pool room! Dear! dear!
+Why, Cap'n Wixon, barrin' that your whiskers are a bit longer and a
+taste grayer, I'd 'a' known you anywheres. Many's the time I've stole
+apples over your back fence. I'm Jimmie Kelly,' says he."
+
+"Well, by mighty!" exclaimed the depot master, slapping his knee. "So HE
+was the Kelly man! Humph!"
+
+"Funny how it turned out, wa'n't it?" said Barzilla. "Course, Cap'n
+Jonadab was perfectly sat on spiritu'lism and signs and omens and such
+after that. He's had his fortune told no less'n eight times sence, and,
+nigh's I can find out, each time it's different. The amount of blondes
+and brunettes and widows and old maids that he's slated to marry,
+accordin' to them fortune tellers, is perfectly scandalous. If he lives
+up to the prophecies, Brigham Young wouldn't be a twospot 'longside of
+him."
+
+"It's funny about dreams," mused Captain Hiram. "Folks are always
+tellin' about their comin' true, but none of mine ever did. I used to
+dream I was goin' to be drowned, but I ain't been yet."
+
+The depot master laughed. "Well," he observed, "once, when I was a
+youngster, I dreamed two nights runnin' that I was bein' hung. I asked
+my Sunday school teacher if he believed dreams come true, and he said
+yes, sometimes. Then I told him my dream, and he said he believed in
+that one. I judged that any other finish for me would have surprised
+him. But, somehow or other, they haven't hung me yet."
+
+"There was a hired girl over at the Old Home House who was sat on
+fortune tellin'," said Wingate. "Her name was Effie, and--"
+
+"Look here!" broke in Captain Bailey Stitt, righteous indignation in his
+tone, "I've started no less than nineteen different times to tell you
+about how I went sailin' in an automobile. Now do you want to hear it,
+or don't you?"
+
+"How you went SAILIN' in an auto?" repeated Barzilla. "Went ridin', you
+mean."
+
+"I mean sailin'. I went ridin', too, but--"
+
+"You'll have to excuse me, Bailey," interrupted Captain Hiram, rising
+and looking at his watch. "I've stayed here a good deal longer'n I
+ought to, already. I must be gettin' on home to see how poor little
+Dusenberry, my boy, is feelin'. I do hope he's better by now. I wish Dr.
+Parker hadn't gone out of town."
+
+The depot master rose also. "And I'll have to be excused, too," he
+declared. "It's most time for the up train. Good-by, Hiram. Give my
+regards to Sophrony, and if there's anything I can do to help, in case
+your baby should be sick, just sing out, won't you?"
+
+"But I want to tell about this automobilin' scrape," protested Captain
+Bailey. "It was one of them things that don't happen every day."
+
+"So was that fortune business of Effie's," declared Wingate. "Honest,
+the way it worked out was queer enough."
+
+But the train whistled just then and the group broke up. Captain Sol
+went out to the platform, where Cornelius Rowe, Ed Crocker, Beriah
+Higgins, Obed Gott, and other interested citizens had already assembled.
+Wingate and Stitt followed. As for Captain Hiram Baker, he hurried home,
+his conscience reproving him for remaining so long away from his wife
+and poor little Hiram Joash, more familiarly known as "Dusenberry."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIII
+
+DUSENBERRY'S BIRTHDAY
+
+
+Mrs. Baker met her husband at the door.
+
+"How is he?" was the Captain's first question. "Better, hey?"
+
+"No," was the nervous answer. "No, I don't think he is. His throat's
+terrible sore and the fever's just as bad."
+
+Again Captain Hiram's conscience smote him.
+
+"Dear! dear!" he exclaimed. "And I've been loafin' around the depot
+with Sol Berry and the rest of 'em instead of stayin' home with you,
+Sophrony. I KNEW I was doin' wrong, but I didn't realize--"
+
+"Course you didn't, Hiram. I'm glad you got a few minutes' rest, after
+bein' up with him half the night. I do wish the doctor was home, though.
+When will he be back?"
+
+"Not until late to-morrer, if then. Did you keep on givin' the
+medicine?"
+
+"Yes, but it don't seem to do much good. You go and set with him now,
+Hiram. I must be seein' about supper."
+
+So into the sick room went Captain Hiram to sit beside the crib and
+sing "Sailor boy, sailor boy, 'neath the wild billow," as a lugubrious
+lullaby.
+
+Little Hiram Joash tossed and tumbled. He was in a fitful slumber when
+Mrs. Baker called her husband to supper. The meal was anything but
+a cheerful one. They talked but little. Over the home, ordinarily so
+cheerful, had settled a gloom that weighed upon them.
+
+"My! my!" sighed Captain Hiram, "how lonesome it seems without him
+chatterin' and racketin' sound. Seems darker'n usual, as if there was a
+shadow on the place."
+
+"Hush, Hiram! don't talk that way. A shadow! Oh, WHAT made you say that?
+Sounds like a warnin', almost."
+
+"Warnin'?"
+
+"Yes, a forewarnin', you know. 'The valley of the shadow--'"
+
+"HUSH!" Captain Baker's face paled under its sunburn. "Don't say such
+things, Sophrony. If that happened, the Lord help you and me. But it
+won't--it won't. We're nervous, that's all. We're always so careful of
+Dusenberry, as if he was made out of thin china, that we get fidgety
+when there's no need of it. We mustn't be foolish."
+
+After supper Mrs. Baker tiptoed into the bedroom. She emerged with a
+very white face.
+
+"Hiram," she whispered, "he acts dreadful queer. Come in and see him."
+
+The "first mate" was tossing back and forth in the crib, making odd
+little choky noises in his swollen throat. When his father entered he
+opened his eyes, stared unmeaningly, and said: "'Tand by to det der ship
+under way."
+
+"Good Lord! he's out of his head," gasped the Captain. Sophronia and he
+stepped back into the sitting room and looked at each other, the same
+thought expressed in the face of each. Neither spoke for a moment, then
+Captain Hiram said:
+
+"Now don't you worry, Sophrony. The Doctor ain't home, but I'm goin' out
+to--to telegraph him, or somethin'. Keep a stiff upper lip. It'll be all
+right. God couldn't go back on you and me that way. He just couldn't.
+I'll be back in a little while."
+
+"But, oh, Hiram! if he should--if he SHOULD be taken away, what WOULD we
+do?"
+
+She began to cry. Her husband laid a trembling hand on her shoulder.
+
+"But he won't," he declared stoutly. "I tell you God wouldn't do such a
+thing. Good-by, old lady. I'll hurry fast as I can."
+
+As he took up his cap and turned to the door he heard the voice of the
+weary little first mate chokily calling his crew to quarters. "All hands
+on deck!"
+
+The telegraph office was in Beriah Higgins's store. Thither ran the
+Captain. Pat Sharkey, Mr. Higgins's Irish helper, who acted as telegraph
+operator during Gertie Higgins's absence, gave Captain Hiram little
+satisfaction.
+
+"How can I get Dr. Parker?" asked Pat. "He's off on a cruise and land
+knows where I can reach him to-night. I'll do what I can, Cap, but it's
+ten chances out of nine against a wire gettin' to him."
+
+Captain Hiram left the store, dodging questioners who were anxious to
+know what his trouble might be, and dazedly crossed Main Street, to the
+railway station. He thought of asking advice of his friend, the depot
+master.
+
+The evening train from Boston pulled out as he passed through the
+waiting room. One or two passengers were standing on the platform. One
+of these was a short, square-shouldered man with gray side whiskers and
+eyeglasses. The initials on his suit case were J. S. M., Boston, and
+they stood for John Spencer Morgan. If the bearer of the suit case had
+followed the fashion of the native princes of India and had emblazoned
+his titles upon his baggage, the commonplace name just quoted might have
+been followed by "M.D., LL.D., at Harvard and Oxford; vice president
+American Medical Society; corresponding secretary Associated Society of
+Surgeons; lecturer at Harvard Medical College; author of 'Diseases of
+the Throat and Lungs,' etc., etc."
+
+But Dr. Morgan was not given to advertising either his titles or
+himself, and he was hurrying across the platform to Redny Blount's depot
+wagon when Captain Hiram touched him on the arm.
+
+"Why, hello, Captain Baker," exclaimed the Doctor, "how do you do?"
+
+"Dr. Morgan," said the Captain, "I--I hope you'll excuse my presumin' on
+you this way, but I want to ask a favor of you, a great favor. I want to
+ask if you'll come down to the house and see the boy; he's on the sick
+list."
+
+"What, Dusenberry?"
+
+"Yes, sir. He's pretty bad, I'm 'fraid, and the old lady's considerable
+upsot about him. If you just come down and kind of take an observation,
+so's we could sort of get our bearin's, as you might say, 'twould be a
+mighty help to all hands."
+
+"But where's your town physician? Hasn't he been called?"
+
+The Captain explained. He had inquired, and he had telegraphed, but
+could get no word of Dr. Parker's whereabouts.
+
+The great Boston specialist listened to Captain Hiram's story in an
+absent-minded way. Holidays were few and far between with him, and when
+he accepted the long-standing invitation of Mr. Ogden Williams to run
+down for the week end he determined to forget the science of medicine
+and all that pertained to it for the four days of his outing. But an
+exacting patient had detained him long enough to prevent his taking the
+train that morning, and now, on the moment of his belated arrival, he
+was asked to pay a professional call. He liked the Captain, who had
+taken him out fishing several times on his previous excursions to East
+Harniss, and he remembered Dusenberry as a happy little sea urchin, but
+he simply couldn't interrupt his pleasure trip to visit a sick baby.
+Besides, the child was Dr. Parker's patient, and professional ethics
+forbade interference.
+
+"Captain Hiram," he said, "I am sorry to disappoint you, but it will
+be impossible for me to do what you ask. Mr. Williams expected me this
+morning, and I am late already. Dr. Parker will, no doubt, return soon.
+The baby cannot be dangerously ill or he would not have left him."
+
+The Captain slowly turned away.
+
+"Thank you, Doctor," he said huskily. "I knew I hadn't no right to ask."
+
+He walked across the platform, abstractedly striking his right hand into
+his left. When he reached the ticket window he put one hand against the
+frame as if to steady himself, and stood there listlessly.
+
+The enterprising Mr. Blount had been hanging about the Doctor like a cat
+about the cream pitcher; now he rushed up, grasped the suit case, and
+officiously led the way toward the depot wagon. Dr. Morgan followed more
+slowly. As he passed the Captain he glanced up into the latter's face,
+lighted, as it was, by the lamp inside the window.
+
+The Doctor stopped and looked again. Then he took another step forward,
+hesitated, turned on his heel, and said:
+
+"Wait a moment, Blount. Captain Hiram, do you live far from here?"
+
+The Captain started. "No, sir, only a little ways."
+
+"All right. I'll go down and look at this boy of yours. Mind you, I'll
+not take the case, simply give my opinion on it, that's all. Blount,
+take my grip to Mr. Williams's. I'm going to walk down with the
+Captain."
+
+
+"Haul on ee bowline, ee bowline, haul!" muttered the first mate, as they
+came into the room. The lamp that Sophronia was holding shook, and the
+Captain hurriedly brushed his eyes with the back of his hand.
+
+Dr. Morgan started perceptibly as he bent forward to look at the little
+fevered face of Dusenberry. Graver and graver he became as he felt the
+pulse and peered into the swollen throat. At length he rose and led the
+way back into the sitting room.
+
+"Captain Baker," he said simply, "I must ask you and your wife to be
+brave. The child has diphtheria and--"
+
+"Diphthery!" gasped Sophronia, as white as her best tablecloth.
+
+"Good Lord above!" cried the Captain.
+
+"Diphtheria," repeated the Doctor; "and, although I dislike extremely to
+criticize a member of my own profession, I must say that any physician
+should have recognized it."
+
+Sophronia groaned and covered her face with her apron.
+
+"Ain't there--ain't there no chance, Doctor?" gasped the Captain.
+
+"Certainly, there's a chance. If I could administer antitoxin by
+to-morrow noon the patient might recover. What time does the morning
+train from Boston arrive here?"
+
+"Ha'f-past ten or thereabouts."
+
+Dr. Morgan took his notebook from his pocket and wrote a few lines in
+pencil on one of the pages. Then he tore out the leaf and handed it to
+the Captain.
+
+"Send that telegram immediately to my assistant in Boston," he said.
+"It directs him to send the antitoxin by the early train. If nothing
+interferes it should be here in time."
+
+Captain Hiram took the slip of paper and ran out at the door bareheaded.
+
+Dr. Morgan stood in the middle of the floor absent-mindedly looking at
+his watch. Sophronia was gazing at him appealingly. At length he put his
+watch in his pocket and said quietly:
+
+"Mrs. Baker, I must ask you to give me a room. I will take the case."
+Then he added mentally: "And that settles my vacation."
+
+
+Dr. Morgan's assistant was a young man whom nature had supplied with a
+prematurely bald head, a flourishing beard, and a way of appearing ten
+years older than he really was. To these gifts, priceless to a young
+medical man, might be added boundless ambition and considerable common
+sense.
+
+The yellow envelope which contained the few lines meaning life or death
+to little Hiram Joash Baker was delivered at Dr. Morgan's Back Bay
+office at ten minutes past ten. Dr. Payson--that was the assistant's
+name--was out, but Jackson, the colored butler, took the telegram
+into his employer's office, laid it on the desk among the papers, and
+returned to the hall to finish his nap in the armchair. When Dr. Payson
+came in, at 11:30, the sleepy Jackson forgot to mention the dispatch.
+
+The next morning as Jackson was cleaning the professional boots in the
+kitchen and chatting with the cook, the thought of the yellow envelope
+came back to his brain. He went up the stairs with such precipitation
+that the cook screamed, thinking he had a fit.
+
+"Doctah! Doctah!" he exclaimed, opening the door of the assistant's
+chamber, "did you git dat telegraft I lef' on your desk las' night?"
+
+"What telegraph?" asked the assistant sleepily. By way of answer Jackson
+hurried out and returned with the yellow envelope. The assistant opened
+it and read as follows:
+
+
+Send 1,500 units Diphtheritic Serum to me by morning train. Don't fail.
+Utmost importance.
+
+J. S. MORGAN.
+
+
+Dr. Payson sprang out of bed, and running to the table took up the
+Railway Guide, turned to the pages devoted to the O. C. and C. C.
+Railroad and ran his finger down the printed tables. The morning train
+for Cape Cod left at 7:10. It was 6:45 at that moment. As has been said,
+the assistant had considerable common sense. He proved this by wasting
+no time in telling the forgetful Jackson what he thought of him. He sent
+the latter after a cab and proceeded to dress in double-quick time. Ten
+minutes later he was on his way to the station with the little wooden
+case containing the precious antitoxin, wrapped and addressed, in his
+pocket.
+
+It was seven by the Arlington Street Church clock as the cab rattled
+down Boylston Street. A tangle of a trolley car and a market wagon
+delayed it momentarily at Harrison Avenue and Essex Street. Dr. Payson,
+leaning out as the carriage swung into Dewey Square, saw by the big
+clock on the Union Station that it was 7:13. He had lost the train.
+
+Now, the assistant had been assistant long enough to know that
+excuses--in the ordinary sense of the word--did not pass current with
+Dr. Morgan. That gentleman had telegraphed for antitoxin, and said it
+was important that he should have it; therefore, antitoxin must be sent
+in spite of time-tables and forgetful butlers. Dr. Payson went into the
+waiting room and sat down to think. After a moment's deliberation he
+went over to the ticket office and asked:
+
+"What is the first stop of the Cape Cod express?"
+
+"Brockboro," answered the ticket seller.
+
+"Is the train usually on time?"
+
+"Well, I should smile. That's Charlie Mills's train, and the old man
+ain't been conductor on this road twenty-two years for nothin'."
+
+"Mills? Does he live on Shawmut Avenue?"
+
+"Dunno. Billy, where does Charlie Mills live?"
+
+"Somewhere at the South End. Shawmut Avenue, I think."
+
+"Thank you," said the assistant, and, helping himself to a time-table,
+he went back rejoicing to his seat in the waiting room. He had stumbled
+upon an unexpected bit of luck.
+
+There might be another story written in connection with this one; the
+story of a veteran railroad man whose daughter had been very, very ill
+with a dreaded disease of the lungs, and who, when other physicians
+had given up hope, had been brought back to health by a celebrated
+specialist of our acquaintance. But this story cannot be told just now;
+suffice it to say that Conductor Charlie Mills had vowed that he would
+put his neck beneath the wheels of his own express train, if by so doing
+he could confer a favor on Dr. John Spencer Morgan.
+
+The assistant saw by his time-table that the Cape Cod express reached
+Brockboro at 8:05. He went over to the telegraph office and wrote two
+telegrams. The first read like this:
+
+
+CALVIN S. WISE, The People's Drug Store, 28 Broad Street, Brockboro,
+Mass.:
+
+Send package 1,500 units Diphtheritic Serum marked with my name to
+station. Hand to Conductor Mills, Cape Cod express. Train will wait.
+Matter life and death.
+
+
+The second telegram was to Conductor Mills. It read:
+
+
+Hold train Brockboro to await arrival C. A. Wise. Great personal favor.
+Very important.
+
+
+Both of these dispatches were signed with the magic name, "J. S. Morgan,
+M.D."
+
+"Well," said the assistant as he rode back to his office, "I don't know
+whether Wise will get the stuff to the train in time, or whether Mills
+will wait for him, but at any rate I've done my part. I hope breakfast
+is ready, I'm hungry."
+
+Mr. Wise, of "The People's Drug Store," had exactly two minutes in which
+to cover the three-quarters of a mile to the station. As a matter of
+course, he was late. Inquiring for Conductor Mills, he was met by a
+red-faced man in uniform, who, watch in hand, demanded what in the vale
+of eternal torment he meant by keeping him waiting eight minutes.
+
+"Do you realize," demanded the red-faced man, "that I'm liable to lose
+my job? I'll have you to understand that if any other man than Doc.
+Morgan asked me to hold up the Cape Cod express, I'd tell him to go
+right plumb to--"
+
+Here Mr. Wise interrupted to hand over the package and explain that it
+was a matter of life and death. Conductor Mills only grunted as he swung
+aboard the train.
+
+"Hump her, Jim," he said to the engineer; "she's got to make up those
+eight minutes."
+
+And Jim did.
+
+
+And so it happened that on the morning of the Fourth of July,
+Dusenberry's birthday, Captain Hiram Baker and his wife sat together in
+the sitting room, with very happy faces. The Captain had in his hands
+the "truly boat with sails," which the little first mate had so ardently
+wished for.
+
+She was a wonder, that boat. Red hull, real lead on the keel, brass
+rings on the masts, reef points on the main and fore sail, jib,
+flying jib and topsails, all complete. And on the stern was the name,
+"Dusenberry. East Harniss."
+
+Captain Hiram set her down in front of him on the floor.
+
+"Gee!" he exclaimed, "won't his eyes stick out when he sees that
+rig, hey? Wisht he would be well enough to see it to-day, same as we
+planned."
+
+"Well, Hiram," said Sophrony, "we hadn't ought to complain. We'd ought
+to be thankful he's goin' to get well at all. Dr. Morgan says, thanks to
+that blessed toxing stuff, he'll be up and around in a couple of weeks."
+
+"Sophrony," said her husband, "we'll have a special birthday celebration
+for him when he gets all well. You can bake the frosted cake and we'll
+have some of the other children in. I TOLD you God wouldn't be cruel
+enough to take him away."
+
+And this is how Fate and the medical profession and the O. C. and C.
+C. Railroad combined to give little Hiram Joash Baker his birthday, and
+explains why, as he strolled down Main Street that afternoon, Captain
+Hiram was heard to sing heartily:
+
+     Haul on the bowline, the 'Phrony is a-rollin',
+     Haul on the bowline, the bowline, HAUL!
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIV
+
+EFFIE'S FATE
+
+
+Surely, but very, very slowly, the little Berry house moved on its
+rollers up the Hill Boulevard. Right at its heels--if a house may be
+said to have heels--came the "pure Colonial," under the guidance of the
+foreman with "progressive methods." Groups of idlers, male and female,
+stood about and commented. Simeon Phinney smilingly replied to their
+questions. Captain Sol himself seemed little interested. He spent most
+of his daylight time at the depot, only going to the Higginses' house
+for his meals. At night, after the station was closed, he sought his own
+dwelling, climbed over the joist and rollers, entered, retired to his
+room, and went to bed.
+
+Each day also he grew more taciturn. Even with Simeon, his particular
+friend, he talked little.
+
+"What IS the matter with you, Sol?" asked Mr. Phinney. "You're as glum
+as a tongue-tied parrot. Ain't you satisfied with the way I'm doin' your
+movin'? The white horse can go back again if you say so."
+
+"I'm satisfied," grunted the depot master. "Let you know when I've
+got any fault to find. How soon will you get abreast the--abreast the
+Seabury lot?"
+
+"Let's see," mused the building mover. "Today's the eighth. Well, I'll
+be there by the eleventh, SURE. Can't drag it out no longer, Sol,
+even if the other horse is took sick. 'Twon't do. Williams has been
+complainin' to the selectmen and they're beginnin' to pester me. As for
+that Colt and Adams foreman--whew!"
+
+He whistled. His companion smiled grimly.
+
+"Williams himself drops in to see me occasional," he said. "Tells me
+what he thinks of me, with all the trimmin's added. I cal'late he gets
+as good as he sends. I'm always glad to see him; he keeps me cheered up,
+in his way."
+
+"Ye-es, I shouldn't wonder. Was he in to-day?"
+
+"He was. And somethin' has pleased him, I guess. At any rate he was in
+better spirits. Asked me if I was goin' to move right onto that Main
+Street lot soon as my house got there."
+
+"What did you say?"
+
+"I said I was cal'latin' to. Told him I hated to get out of the
+high-society circles I'd been livin' in lately, but that everyone had
+their comedowns in this world."
+
+"Ho, ho! that was a good one. What answer did he make to that?"
+
+"Well, he said the 'high society' would miss me. Then he finished up
+with a piece of advice. 'Berry,' says he, 'don't move onto that lot TOO
+quick. I wouldn't if I was you.' Then he went away, chucklin'."
+
+"Chucklin', hey? What made him so joyful?"
+
+"Don't know"--Captain Sol's face clouded once more--"and I care less,"
+he added brusquely.
+
+Simeon pondered. "Have you heard from Abner Payne, Sol?" he asked. "Has
+Ab answered that letter you wrote sayin' you'd swap your lot for the
+Main Street one?"
+
+"No, he hasn't. I wrote him that day I told you to move me."
+
+"Hum! that's kind of funny. You don't s'pose--"
+
+He stopped, noticing the expression on his friend's face. The depot
+master was looking out through the open door of the waiting room. On
+the opposite side of the road, just emerging from Mr. Higgins's "general
+store," was Olive Edwards, the widow whose home was to be pulled down
+as soon as the "Colonial" reached its destination. She came out of
+the store and started up Main Street. Suddenly, and as if obeying an
+involuntary impulse, she turned her head. Her eyes met those of Captain
+Sol Berry, the depot master. For a brief instant their glance met, then
+Mrs. Edwards hurried on.
+
+Sim Phinney sighed pityingly. "Looks kind of tired and worried, don't
+she?" he ventured. His friend did not speak.
+
+"I say," repeated Phinney, "that Olive looks sort of worn out and--"
+
+"Has she heard from the Omaha cousin yet?" interrupted the depot master.
+
+"No; Mr. Hilton says not. Sol, what DO you s'pose--"
+
+But Captain Sol had risen and gone into the ticket office. The door
+closed behind him. Mr. Phinney shook his head and walked out of the
+building. On his way back to the scene of the house moving he shook his
+head several times.
+
+On the afternoon of the ninth Captain Bailey Stitt and his friend
+Wingate came to say good-by. Stitt was going back to Orham on the "up"
+train, due at 3:30. Barzilla would return to Wellmouth and the Old Home
+House on the evening (the "down") train.
+
+"Hey, Sol!" shouted Wingate, as they entered the waiting room. "Sol!
+where be you?"
+
+The depot master came out of the ticket office. "Hello, boys!" he said
+shortly.
+
+"Hello, Sol!" hailed Stitt. "Barzilla and me have come to shed the
+farewell tear. As hirelin's of soulless corporations, meanin' the Old
+Home House at Wellmouth and the Ocean House at Orham, we've engaged all
+the shellfish along-shore and are goin' to clear out."
+
+"Yes," chimed in his fellow "hireling," "and we thought the pleasantest
+place to put in our few remainin' hours--as the papers say when a
+feller's goin' to be hung--was with you."
+
+"I thought so," said Captain Bailey, with a wink. "We've been havin'
+more or less of an argument, Sol. Remember how Barzilla made fun of
+Jonadab Wixon for believin' in dreams? Yes, well that was only make
+believe. He believes in 'em himself."
+
+"I don't either," declared Wingate. "And I never said so. What I said
+was that sometimes it almost seemed as if there was somethin' IN fortune
+tellin' and such."
+
+"There is," chuckled Bailey with another wink at the depot master.
+"There's money in it--for the fortune tellers."
+
+"I said--and I say again," protested Barzilla, "that I knew a case at
+our hotel of a servant girl named Effie, and she--"
+
+"Oh, Heavens to Betsy! Here he goes again, I steered him in here on
+purpose, Sol, so's he'd get off that subject."
+
+"You never neither. You said--"
+
+The depot master held up his hand. "Don't both talk at once," he
+commanded. "Set down and be peaceful, can't you. That's right. What
+about this Effie, Barzilla?"
+
+"Now look here!" protested Stitt.
+
+"Shut up, Bailey! Who was Effie, Barzilla?"
+
+"She was third assistant roustabout and table girl at the Old Home
+House," said Wingate triumphantly. "Got another cigar, Sol? Thanks. Yes,
+this Effie had never worked out afore and she was greener'n a mess of
+spinach; but she was kind of pretty to look at and--"
+
+"Ah, ha!" crowed Captain Bailey, "here comes the heart confessions. Want
+to look out for these old bachelors, Sol. Fire away, Barzilla; let us
+know the worst."
+
+"I took a fancy to her, in a way. She got in the habit of tellin' me her
+troubles and secrets, me bein' old enough to be her dad--"
+
+"Aw, yes!" this from Stitt, the irrepressible. "That's an old gag. We
+know--"
+
+"WILL you shut up?" demanded Captain Sol. "Go on, Barzilla."
+
+"Me bein' old enough to be her dad," with a glare at Captain Bailey,
+"and not bein' too proud to talk with hired help. I never did have that
+high-toned notion. 'Twa'n't so long since I was a fo'mast hand.
+
+"So Effie told me a lot about herself. Seems she'd been over to the
+Cattle Show at Ostable one year, and she was loaded to the gunwale with
+some more or less facts that a fortune-tellin' specimen by the name of
+the 'Marvelous Oriental Seer' had handed her in exchange for a quarter.
+
+"'Yup,' says she, bobbin' her head so emphatic that the sky-blue ribbon
+pennants on her black hair flapped like a loose tops'l in a gale of
+wind. 'Yup,' says she, 'I b'lieve it just as much as I b'lieve anything.
+How could I help it when he told me so much that has come true already?
+He said I'd seen trouble, and the dear land knows that's so! and that I
+might see more, and I cal'late that's pretty average likely. And he said
+I hadn't been brought up in luxury--'
+
+"'Which wa'n't no exaggeration neither,' I put in, thinkin' of the shack
+over on the Neck Road where she and her folks used to live.
+
+"'No,' says she; 'and he told me I'd always had longin's for better and
+higher things and that my intellectuals was above my station. Well, ever
+sence I was knee high to a kitchen chair I'd ruther work upstairs than
+down, and as for intellectuals, ma always said I was the smartest
+young one she'd raised yet. So them statements give me consider'ble
+confidence. But he give out that I was to make a journey and get money,
+and when THAT come true I held up both hands and stood ready to swaller
+all the rest of it.'
+
+"'So it come true, did it?' says I.
+
+"'Um-hm,' says she, bouncin' her head again. 'Inside of four year I
+traveled 'way over to South Eastboro--'most twelve mile--to my Uncle
+Issy's fun'ral, and there I found that he'd left me nine hundred dollars
+for my very own. And down I flops on the parlor sofy and says I: "There!
+don't talk superstition to ME no more! A person that can foretell Uncle
+Issy's givin' anybody a cent, let alone nine hundred dollars, is a good
+enough prophet for ME to tie to. Now I KNOW that I'm going to marry the
+dark-complected man, and I'll be ready for him when he comes along.
+I never spent a quarter no better than when I handed it over to that
+Oriental Seer critter at the Cattle Show." That's what I said then and I
+b'lieve it yet. Wouldn't you feel the same way?'
+
+"I said sure thing I would. I'd found out that the best way to keep
+Effie's talk shop runnin' was to agree with her. And I liked to hear her
+talk.
+
+"'Yup,' she went on, 'I give right in then. I'd traveled same as the
+fortune teller said, and I'd got more money'n I ever expected to see,
+let alone own. And ever sence I've been sartin as I'm alive that the
+feller I marry will be of a rank higher'n mine and dark complected and
+good-lookin' and distinguished, and that he'll be name of Butler.'
+
+"'Butler?' says I. 'What will he be named Butler for?'
+
+"''Cause the Seer critter said so. He said he could see the word Butler
+printed out over the top of my head in flamin' letters. Pa used to say
+'twas a wonder it never set fire to my crimps, but he was only foolin'.
+I know that it's all comin' out true. You ain't acquaintanced to any
+Butlers, are you?'
+
+"'No,' says I. 'I heard Ben Butler make a speech once when he was
+gov'nor, but he's dead now. There ain't no Butlers on the Old Home
+shippin' lists.'
+
+"'Oh, I know that!' she says. 'And everybody round here is homelier'n a
+moultin' pullet. There now! I didn't mean exactly EVERYbody, of course.
+But you ain't dark complected, you know, nor--'
+
+"'No,' says I, 'nor rank nor distinguished neither. Course the handsome
+part might fit me, but I'd have to pass on the rest of the hand. That's
+all right, Effie; my feelin's have got fire-proofed sence I've been
+in the summer hotel business. Now you'd better run along and report to
+Susannah. I hear her whoopin' for you, and she don't light like a canary
+bird on the party she's mad with.'
+
+"She didn't, that was a fact. Susannah Debs, who was housekeeper for us
+that year, was middlin' young and middlin' good-lookin', and couldn't
+forget it. Also and likewise, she had a suit for damages against the
+railroad, which she had hopes would fetch her money some day or other,
+and she couldn't forget that neither. She was skipper of all the hired
+hands and, bein' as Effie was prettier than she was, never lost a chance
+to lay the poor girl out. She put the other help up to pokin' fun at
+Effie's green ways and high-toned notions, and 'twas her that started
+'em callin' her 'Lady Evelyn' in the fo'castle--servants' quarters, I
+mean.
+
+"'I'm a-comin', 'screams Effie, startin' for the door. 'Susannah's in a
+tearin' hurry to get through early to-day,' she adds to me. 'She's got
+the afternoon off, and her beau's comin' to take her buggy ridin'.
+He's from over Harniss way somewheres and they say he's just lovely. My
+sakes! I wisht somebody'd take ME to ride. Ah hum! cal'late I'll have to
+wait for my Butler man. Say, Mr. Wingate, you won't mention my fortune
+to a soul, will you? I never told anybody but you.'
+
+"I promised to keep mum and she cleared out. After dinner, as I was
+smokin', along with Cap'n Jonadab, on the side piazza, a horse and
+buggy drove in at the back gate. A young chap with black curly hair was
+pilotin' the craft. He was a stranger to me, wore a checkerboard suit
+and a bonfire necktie, and had his hat twisted over one ear. Altogether
+he looked some like a sunflower goin' to seed.
+
+"'Who's that barber's sign when it's to home?' says I to Jonadab. He
+snorted contemptuous.
+
+"'That?' he says. 'Don't you know the cut of that critter's jib? He
+plays pool "for the house" in Web Saunders's place over to Orham. He's
+the housekeeper's steady comp'ny--steady by spells, if all I hear's
+true. Good-for-nothin' cub, I call him. Wisht I'd had him aboard a
+vessel of mine; I'd 'a' squared his yards for him. Look how he cants his
+hat to starboard so's to show them lovelocks. Bah!'
+
+"'What's his name?' I asks.
+
+"'Name? Name's Butler--Simeon Butler. Don't you remember . . . Hey? What
+in tunket . . .?'
+
+"Both of us had jumped as if somebody'd touched off a bombshell under
+our main hatches. The windows of the dining room was right astern of us.
+We whirled round, and there was Effie. She'd been clearin' off one of
+the tables and there she stood, with the smashed pieces of an ice-cream
+platter in front of her, the melted cream sloppin' over her shoes, and
+her face lookin' like the picture of Lot's wife just turnin' to salt.
+Only Effie looked as if she enjoyed the turnin'. She never spoke nor
+moved, just stared after that buggy with her black eyes sparklin' like
+burnt holes in a blanket.
+
+"I was too astonished to say anything, but Jonadab had his eye on that
+smashed platter and HE had things to say, plenty of 'em. I walked off
+and left Effie playin' congregation to a sermon on the text 'Crockery
+costs money.' You'd think that ice-cream dish was a genuine ugly, nicked
+'antique' wuth any city loon's ten dollars, instead of bein' only new
+and pretty fifty-cent china. I felt real sorry for the poor girl.
+
+"But I needn't have been. That evenin' I found her on the back steps,
+all Sunday duds and airs. Her hair had a wire friz on it, and her dress
+had Joseph's coat in Scriptur' lookin' like a mournin' rig. She'd have
+been real handsome--to a body that was color blind.
+
+"'My, Effie!' says I, 'you sartin do look fine to-night.'
+
+"'Yup,' she says, contented, 'I guess likely I do. Hope so, 'cause I'm
+wearin' all I've got. Say, Mr. Wingate,' says she, excited as a cat in a
+fit, 'did you see him?'
+
+"'Him?' says I. 'Who's him?'
+
+"'Why, HIM! The one the Seer said was comin'. The handsome,
+dark-complected feller I'm goin' to marry. The Butler one. That was him
+in the buggy this afternoon.'
+
+"I looked at her. I'd forgot all about the fool prophecy.
+
+"'Good land of love!' I says. 'You don't cal'late he's comin' to marry
+YOU, do you, just 'cause his name's Butler? There's ten thousand Butlers
+in the world. Besides, your particular one was slated to be high ranked
+and distinguished, and this specimen scrubs up the billiard-room floor
+and ain't no more distinguished than a poorhouse pig.'
+
+"'Ain't?' she sings out. 'Ain't distinguished? With all them beautiful
+curls, and rings on his fingers, and--'
+
+"'Bells on his toes? No!' says I, emphatic. 'Anyhow, he's signed for
+the v'yage already. He's Susannah Debs's steady, and they're off buggy
+ridin' together right now. And if she catches you makin' eyes at her
+best feller--Whew!'
+
+"Didn't make no difference. He was her Butler, sure. 'Twas Fate--that's
+what 'twas--Fate, just the same as in storybooks. She was sorry for poor
+Susannah and she wouldn't do nothin' mean nor underhanded; but couldn't
+I understand that 'twas all planned out for her by Providence and that
+everlastin' Seer? Just let me watch and see, that's all.
+
+"What can you do with an idiot like that? I walked off disgusted and
+left her. But I cal'lated to watch. I judged 'twould be more fun than
+any 'play-actin' show ever I took in.
+
+"And 'twas, in a way. Don't ask me how they got acquainted, 'cause I
+can't tell you for sartin. Nigh's I can learn, Susannah and Sim had some
+sort of lover's row durin' their buggy ride, and when they got back to
+the hotel they was scurcely on speakin' terms. And Sim, who always had a
+watch out for'ard for pretty girls, see Effie standin' on the servants'
+porch all togged up regardless and gay as a tea-store chromo, and
+nothin' to do but he must be introduced. One of the stable hands done
+the introducin', I b'lieve, and if he'd have been hung afterwards
+'twould have sarved him right.
+
+"Anyhow, inside of a week Butler come round again to take a lady friend
+drivin', but this time 'twas Effie, not the housekeeper, that was
+passenger. And Susannah glared after 'em like a cat after a sparrow,
+and the very next day she was for havin' Effie discharged for
+incompetentiveness. I give Jonadab the tip, though, so that didn't go
+through. But I cal'late there was a parrot and monkey time among the
+help from then on.
+
+"They all sided with Susannah, of course. She was their boss, for one
+thing, and 'Lady Evelyn's' high-minded notions wa'n't popular, for
+another. But Effie didn't care--bless you, no! She and that Butler sport
+was together more and more, and the next thing I heard was that they was
+engaged. I snum, if it didn't look as if the Oriental man knew his job
+after all.
+
+"I spoke to the stable hand about it.
+
+"'Look here,' says I, 'is this business betwixt that pool player and our
+Effie serious?'
+
+"He laughed. 'Serious enough, I guess,' he says. 'They're goin' to
+be married pretty soon, I hear. It's all 'cordin' to the law and the
+prophets. Ain't you heard about the fortune tellin' and how 'twas
+foretold she'd marry a Butler?'
+
+"I'd heard, but I didn't s'pose he had. However, it seemed that Effie
+hadn't been able to keep it to herself no longer. Soon as she'd hooked
+her man she'd blabbed the whole thing. The fo'mast hands wa'n't talkin'
+of nothin' else, so this feller said.
+
+"'Humph!' says I. 'Is it the prophecy that Butler's bankin' on?'
+
+"He laughed again. 'Not so much as on Lady Evelyn's nine hundred, I
+cal'late,' says he. Sim likes Susannah the best of the two, so we all
+reckon, but she ain't rich and Effie is. And yet, if the Debs woman
+should win that lawsuit of hers against the railroad she'd have pretty
+nigh twice as much. Butler's a fool not to wait, I think,' he says.
+
+"This was of a Monday. On Friday evenin' Effie comes around to see me. I
+was alone in the office.
+
+"'Mr. Wingate,' she says, 'I'm goin' to leave to-morrer night. I'm goin'
+to be married on Sunday.'
+
+"I'd been expecting it, but I couldn't help feelin' sorry for her.
+
+"'Don't do nothin' rash, Effie,' I told her. 'Are you sure that Butler
+critter cares anything about you and not your money?'
+
+"She flared up like a tar barrel. 'The idea!' she says, turnin' red. 'I
+just come in to give you warnin'. Good-by.'
+
+"'Hold on,' I sung out to her. 'Effie, I've thought consider'ble about
+you lately. I've been tryin' to help you a little on the sly. I realized
+that 'twa'n't pleasant for you workin' here under Susannah Debs, and
+I've been tryin' to find a nice place for you. I wrote about you to Bob
+Van Wedderburn; he's the rich banker chap who stopped here one summer.
+"Jonesy," we used to call him. I know him and his wife fust rate, and
+he'd do 'most anything as a favor to me. I told him what a neat, handy
+girl you was, and he writes that he'll give you the job of second girl
+at his swell New York house, if you want it. Now you just hand that Sim
+Butler his clearance papers and go work for Bob's wife. The wages are
+double what you get here, and--'
+
+"She didn't wait to hear the rest. Just sailed out of the room with her
+nose in the air. In a minute, though, back she come and just put her
+head in the door.
+
+"'I'm much obliged to you, Mr. Wingate,' says she. 'I know you mean
+well. But you ain't had your fate foretold, same's I have. It's all
+been arranged for me, and I couldn't stop it no more'n Jonah could help
+swallerin' the whale. I--I kind of wish you'd be on hand at the back
+door on Sunday mornin' when Simeon comes to take me away. You--you're
+about the only real friend I've got,' she says.
+
+"And off she went, for good this time. I pitied her, in spite of her
+bein' such a dough head. I knew what sort of a husband that pool-room
+shark would make. However, there wa'n't nothin' to be done. And next day
+Cap'n Jonadab was round, madder'n a licked pup. Seems Susannah's lawyer
+at Orham had sent for her to come right off and see him. Somethin' about
+the suit, it was. And she was goin' in spite of everything. And with
+Effie's leavin' at the same time, what was we goin' to do over Sunday?
+and so forth and so on.
+
+"Well, we had to do the best we could, that's all. But that Saturday
+was busy, now I tell you. Sunday mornin' broke fine and clear and, after
+breakfast was over, I remembered Effie and that 'twas her weddin' day.
+On the back steps I found her, dressed in all her grandeur, with her
+packed trunk ready, waitin' for the bridegroom.
+
+"'Ain't come yet, hey, Effie?' says I.
+
+"'No,' says she, smilin' and radiant. 'It's a little early for him yet,
+I guess.'
+
+"I went off to 'tend to the boarders. At half past ten, when I made the
+back steps again, she was still there. T'other servants was peekin' out
+of the kitchen windows, grinnin' and passin' remarks.
+
+"'Hello!' I calls out. 'Not married yet? What's the matter?'
+
+"She'd stopped smilin', but she was as chipper as ever, to all
+appearances.
+
+"'I--I guess the horse has gone lame or somethin',' says she. 'He'll be
+here any time now.'
+
+"There was a cackle from the kitchen windows. I never said nothin'.
+She'd made her nest; now let her roost on it.
+
+"But at twelve Butler hadn't hove in sight. Every hand, male and female,
+on the place, that wa'n't busy, was hangin' around the back of the
+hotel, waitin' and watchin' and ridiculin' and havin' a high time. Them
+that had errands made it a p'int to cruise past that way. Lots of the
+boarders had got wind of the doin's, and they was there, too.
+
+"Effie was settin' on her trunk, tryin' hard to look brave. I went up
+and spoke to her.
+
+"'Come, my girl,' says I. 'Don't set here no longer. Come into the house
+and wait. Hadn't you better?'
+
+"'No!' says she, loud and defiant like. 'No, sir! It's all right. He's a
+little late, that's all. What do you s'pose I care for a lot of jealous
+folks like those up there?' wavin' her flipper scornful toward the
+kitchen.
+
+"And then, all to once, she kind of broke down, and says to me, with a
+pitiful sort of choke in her voice:
+
+"'Oh, Mr. Wingate! I can't stand this. Why DON'T he come?'
+
+"I tried hard to think of somethin' comfortin' to say, but afore I
+could h'ist a satisfyin' word out of my hatches I heard the noise of a
+carriage comin'. Effie heard it, too, and so did everybody else. We all
+looked toward the gate. 'Twas Sim Butler, sure enough, in his buggy and
+drivin' the same old horse; but settin' alongside of him on the seat was
+Susannah Debs, the housekeeper. And maybe she didn't look contented with
+things in gen'ral!
+
+"Butler pulled up his horse by the gate. Him and Susannah bowed to all
+hands. Nobody said anything for a minute. Then Effie bounced off the
+trunk and down them steps.
+
+"'Simmie' she sung out, breathless like, 'Simeon Butler, what does this
+mean?'
+
+"The Debs woman straightened up on the seat. 'Thank you, marm,' says
+she, chilly as the top section of an ice chest, 'I'll request you not to
+call my husband by his first name.'
+
+"It was so still you could have heard yourself grow. Effie turned white
+as a Sunday tablecloth.
+
+"'Your--husband?' she gasps. 'Your--your HUSBAND?'
+
+"'Yes, marm,' purrs the housekeeper. 'My husband was what I said. Mr.
+Butler and me have just been married.'
+
+"'Sorry, Effie, old girl,' puts in Butler, so sassy I'd love to have
+preached his fun'ral sermon. 'Too bad, but fust love's strongest, you
+know. Susie and me was engaged long afore you come to town.'
+
+"THEN such a haw-haw and whoop bust from the kitchen and fo'castle as
+you never heard. For a jiffy poor Effie wilted right down. Then she
+braced up and her black eyes snapped.
+
+"'I wish you joy of your bargain, marm,' says she to Susannah. 'You'd
+ought to be proud of it. And as for YOU,' she says, swingin' round
+toward the rest of the help, 'I--'
+
+"'How 'bout that prophet?' hollers somebody.
+
+"'Three cheers for the Oriental!' bellers somebody else.
+
+"'When you marry the right Butler fetch him along and let us see him!'
+whoops another.
+
+"She faced 'em all, and I gloried in her spunk.
+
+"'When I marry him I WILL come back,' says she. 'And when I do you'll
+have to get down on your knees and wait on me. You--and you--Yes, and
+YOU, too!'
+
+"The last two 'yous' was hove at Sim and Susannah. Then she turned and
+marched into the hotel. And the way them hired hands carried on was
+somethin' scandalous--till I stepped in and took charge of the deck.
+
+"That very afternoon I put Effie and her trunk aboard the train. I
+paid her fare to New York and give her directions how to locate the Van
+Wedderburns.
+
+"'So long, Effie,' says I to her. 'It's all right. You're enough sight
+better off. All you want to do now is to work hard and forget all that
+fortune-tellin' foolishness.'
+
+"She whirled on me like a top.
+
+"'Forget it!' she says. 'I GUESS I shan't forget it! It's comin' true,
+I tell you--same as all the rest come true. You said yourself there was
+ten thousand Butlers in the world. Some day the right one--the handsome,
+high-ranked, distinguished one--will come along, and I'll get him. You
+wait and see, Mr. Wingate--just you wait and see.'"
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XV
+
+THE "HERO" AND THE COWBOY
+
+
+"So that was the end of it, hey?" said Captain Bailey. "Well, it's what
+you might expect, but it wa'n't much to be so anxious to tell; and as
+for PROVIN' anything about fortune tellin'--why--"
+
+"It AIN'T the end," shouted the exasperated Barzilla. "Not nigh the end.
+'Twas the beginnin'. The housekeeper left us that day, of course, and
+for the rest of that summer the servant question kept me and Jonadab
+from thinkin' of other things. Course, the reason for the Butler scamp's
+sudden switch was plain enough. Susannah's lawyer had settled the case
+with the railroad and, even after his fee was subtracted, there was
+fifteen hundred left. That was enough sight better'n nine hundred, so
+Sim figgered when he heard of it; and he hustled to make up with his old
+girl.
+
+"Fifteen hundred dollars doesn't last long with some folks. At the
+beginnin' of the next spring season both of 'em was round huntin' jobs.
+Susannah was a fust-rate waitress, so we hired her for that--no more
+housekeeper for hers, and served her right. As for her husband, we took
+him on in the stable. He wouldn't have been wuth his salt if it hadn't
+been for her. She said she'd keep him movin' and she did. She nagged and
+henpecked him till I'd have been sorry if 'twas anybody else; as 'twas,
+I got consider'ble satisfaction out of it.
+
+"I got one letter from Effie pretty soon after she left, sayin' she
+liked her new job and that the Van Wedderburns liked her. And that's all
+I did hear, though Bob himself wrote me in May, sayin' him and
+Mabel, his wife, had bought a summer cottage in Wapatomac, and me and
+Jonadab--especially me--must be sure and come to see it and them. He
+never mentioned his second girl, and I almost forgot her myself.
+
+"But one afternoon in early July a big six-cylinder automobile come
+sailin' down the road and into the Old Home House yard. A shofer--I
+b'lieve that's what they call the tribe--was at the helm of it, and on
+the back seat, lollin' luxurious against the upholstery, was a man and
+a woman, got up regardless in silk dusters and goggles and veils and
+prosperity. I never expect to see the Prince of Wales and his wife, but
+I know how they'd look--after seein' them two.
+
+"Jonadab was at the bottom step to welcome 'em, bowin' and scrapin' as
+if his middle j'int had just been iled. I wa'n't fur astern, and every
+boarder on deck was all eyes and envy.
+
+"The shofer opens the door of the after cockpit of the machine, and the
+man gets out fust, treadin' gingerly but grand, as if he was doin' the
+ground a condescension by steppin' on it. Then he turns to the woman and
+she slides out, her duds rustlin' like the wind in a scrub oak. The pair
+sails up the steps, Jonadab and me backin' and fillin' in front of 'em.
+All the help that could get to a window to peek had knocked off work to
+do it.
+
+"'Ahem!' says the man, pompous as Julius Caesar--he was big and
+straight and fine lookin' and had black side whiskers half mast on his
+cheeks--ahem!' says he. 'I say, good people, may we have dinner here?'
+
+"Well, they tell us time and tide waits for no man, but prob'ly that
+don't include the nobility. Anyhow, although 'twas long past our reg'lar
+dinner time, I heard Jonadab tellin' 'em sure and sartin they could. If
+they wouldn't mind settin' on the piazza or in the front parlor for a
+spell, he'd have somethin' prepared in a jiffy. So up to the piazza they
+paraded and come to anchor in a couple of chairs.
+
+"'You can have your automobile put right into the barn,' I says, 'if you
+want to.'
+
+"'I don't know as it will be necessary--' began the big feller, but the
+woman interrupted him. She was starin' through her thick veil at the
+barn door. Sim Butler, in his overalls and ragged shirt sleeves, was
+leanin' against that door, interested as the rest of us in what was
+goin' on.
+
+"'I would have it put there, I think,' says the woman, lofty and
+superior. 'It is rather dusty, and I think the wheels ought to be
+washed. Can that man be trusted to wash 'em?' she asks, pointin' kind of
+scornful at Simeon.
+
+"'Yes, marm, I cal'late so,' I says. 'Here, Sim!' I sung out, callin'
+Butler over to the steps. 'Can you wash the dust off them wheels?'
+
+"He said course he could, but he didn't act joyful over the job. The
+woman seemed some doubtful.
+
+"'He looks like a very ignorant, common person,' says she, loud and
+clear, so that everybody, includin' the 'ignorant person' himself, could
+hear her. 'However, James'll superintend. James,' she orders the shofer,
+'you see that it is well done, won't you? Make him be very careful.'
+
+"James looked Butler over from head to foot. 'Humph!' he sniffs,
+contemptuous, with a kind of half grin on his face. 'Yes, marm, I'll
+'tend to it.'
+
+"So he steered the auto into the barn, and Simeon got busy. Judgin' by
+the sharp language that drifted out through the door, 'twas plain that
+the shofer was superintendin' all right.
+
+"Jonadab heaves in sight, bowin', and makes proclamation that dinner
+is served. The pair riz up majestic and headed for the dinin' room. The
+woman was a little astern of her man, and in the hall she turns brisk to
+me.
+
+"'Mr. Wingate,' she whispers, 'Mr. Wingate.'
+
+"I stared at her. Her voice had sounded sort of familiar ever sence I
+heard it, but the veil kept a body from seein' what she looked like.
+
+"'Hey?' I sings out. 'Have I ever--'
+
+"'S-s-h-h!' she whispers. 'Say, Mr. Wingate, that--that Susannah thing
+is here, ain't she? Have her wait on us, will you, please?'
+
+"And she swept the veil off her face. I choked up and staggered bang!
+against the wall. I swan to man if it wa'n't Effie! EFFIE, in silks and
+automobiles and gorgeousness!
+
+"Afore I could come to myself the two of 'em marched into that dining
+room. I heard a grunt and a 'Land of love!' from just ahead of me. That
+was Jonadab. And from all around that dinin' room come a sort of gasp
+and then the sound of whisperin'. That was the help.
+
+"They took a table by the window, which had been made ready. Down they
+set like a king and a queen perchin' on thrones. One of the waiter girls
+went over to em.
+
+"But I'd come out of my trance a little mite. The situation was miles
+ahead of my brain, goodness knows, but the joke of it all was gettin' a
+grip on me. I remembered what Effie had asked and I spoke up prompt.
+
+"'Susannah,' says I, 'this is a particular job and we're anxious to
+please. You'd better do the waitin' yourself.'
+
+"I wish you could have seen the glare that ex-housekeeper give me. For
+a second I thought we'd have open mutiny. But her place wa'n't any too
+sartin and she didn't dare risk it. Over she walked to that table, and
+the fun began.
+
+"Jonadab had laid himself out to make that meal a success, but they ate
+it as if 'twas pretty poor stuff and not by no means what they fed on
+every day. They found fault with 'most everything, but most especial
+with Susannah's waitin'. My! how they did order her around--a mate on a
+cattle boat wa'n't nothin' to it. And when 'twas all over and they got
+up to go, Effie says, so's all hands can hear:
+
+"'The food here is not so bad, but the service--oh, horrors! However,
+Albert,' says she to the side-whiskered man, 'you had better give the
+girl our usual tip. She looks as if she needed it, poor thing!'
+
+"Then they paraded out of the room, and I see Susannah sling the half
+dollar the man had left on the table clear to Jericho, it seemed like.
+
+"The auto was waitin' by the piazza steps. The shofer and Butler was
+standin' by it. And when Sim see Effie with her veil throwed back he
+pretty nigh fell under the wheels he'd been washin' so hard. And he
+looked as if he wisht they'd run over him.
+
+"'Oh, dear!' sighs Effie, lookin' scornful at the wheels. 'Not half
+clean, just as I expected. I knew by the looks of that--that PERSON that
+he wouldn't do it well. Don't give him much, Albert; he ain't earned
+it.'
+
+"They climbed into the cockpit, the shofer took the helm, and they was
+ready to start. But I couldn't let 'em go that way. Out I run.
+
+"'Say--say, Effie!' I whispers, eager. 'For the goodness' sakes, what's
+all this mean? Is that your--your--'
+
+"'My husband? Yup,' she whispers back, her eyes shinin'. 'Didn't I tell
+you to look out for my prophecy? Ain't he handsome and distinguished,
+just as I said? Good-by, Mr. Wingate; maybe I'll see you again some
+day.'
+
+"The machinery barked and they got under way. I run along for two steps
+more.
+
+"'But, Effie,' says I, 'tell me--is his name--?'
+
+"She didn't answer. She was watchin' Sim Butler and his wife. Sim had
+stooped to pick up the quarter the Prince of Wales had hove at him. And
+that was too much for Susannah, who was watchin' from the window.
+
+"'Don't you touch that money!' she screams. 'Don't you lay a finger on
+it! Ain't you got any self-respect at all, you miser'ble, low-lived--'
+and so forth and so on. All the way to the front gate I see Effie
+leanin' out, lookin' and listenin' and smilin'.
+
+"Then the machine buzzed off in a typhoon of dust and I went back to
+Jonadab, who was a livin' catechism of questions which neither one of us
+could answer."
+
+"So THAT'S the end!" exclaimed Captain Bailey. "Well--"
+
+"No, it ain't the end--not even yet. Maybe it ought to be, but it ain't.
+There's a little more of it.
+
+"A fortni't later I took a couple of days off and went up to Wapatomac
+to visit the Van Wedderburns, same as I'd promised. Their 'cottage' was
+pretty nigh big enough for a hotel, and was so grand that I, even if I
+did have on my Sunday frills, was 'most ashamed to ring the doorbell.
+
+"But I did ring it, and the feller that opened the door was big and
+solemn and fine lookin' and had side whiskers. Only this time he wore a
+tail coat with brass buttons on it.
+
+"How do you do, Mr. Wingate?' says he. Step right in, sir, if you
+please. Mr. and Mrs. Van Wedderburn are out in the auto, but they'll be
+back shortly, and very glad to see you, sir, I'm sure. Let me take
+your grip and hat. Step right into the reception room and wait, if you
+please, sir. Perhaps,' he says, and there was a twinkle in his port eye,
+though the rest of his face was sober as the front door of a church,
+'perhaps,' says he, 'you might wish to speak with my wife a moment. I'll
+take the liberty of sendin' her to you, sir.'
+
+"So, as I sat on the gunwale of a blue and gold chair, tryin' to settle
+whether I was really crazy or only just dreamin', in bounces Effie,
+rigged up in a servant's cap and apron. She looked polite and demure,
+but I could see she was just bubblin' with the joy of the whole
+bus'ness.
+
+"'Effie,' says I, 'Effie, what--what in the world--?'
+
+"She giggled. 'Yup,' she says, 'I'm chambermaid here and they treat me
+fine. Thank you very much for gettin' me the situation.'
+
+"'But--but them doin's the other day? That automobile--and them silks
+and satins--and--?'
+
+"'Mr. Van Wedderburn lent 'em to me,' she said, 'him an' his wife. And
+he lent us the auto and the shofer, too. I told him about my troubles
+at the Old Home House and he thought 'twould be a great joke for me
+to travel back there like a lady. He's awful fond of a joke--Mr. Van
+Wedderburn is.'
+
+"'But that man?' I gasps. 'Your husband? That's what you said he was.'
+
+"'Yes,' says she, 'he is. We've been married 'most six months now. My
+prophecy's all come true. And DIDN'T I rub it in on that Susannah Debs
+and her scamp of a Sim? Ho! ho!'
+
+"She clapped her hands and pretty nigh danced a jig, she was so tickled.
+
+"'But is he a Butler?' I asks.
+
+"'Yup,' she nods, with another giggle. 'He's A butler, though his name's
+Jenkins; and a butler's high rank--higher than chambermaid, anyhow. You
+see, Mr. Wingate,' she adds, ''twas all my fault. When that Oriental
+Seer man at the show said I was to marry a butler, I forgot to ask him
+whether you spelt it with a big B or a little one.'"
+
+The unexpected manner in which Effie's pet prophecy had been fulfilled
+amused Captain Sol immensely. He laughed so heartily that Issy McKay
+looked in at the door with an expression of alarm on his face. The
+depot master had laughed little during the past few days, and Issy was
+surprised.
+
+But Captain Stitt was ready with a denial. He claimed that the prophecy
+was NOT fulfilled and therefore all fortune telling was fraudulent.
+Barzilla retorted hotly, and the argument began again. The two were
+shouting at each other. Captain Sol stood it for a while and then
+commanded silence.
+
+"Stop your yellin'!" he ordered. "What ails you fellers? Think you can
+prove it better by screechin'? They can hear you half a mile. There's
+Cornelius Rowe standin' gawpin' on the other side of the street this
+minute. He thinks there's a fire or a riot, one or t'other. Let's change
+the subject. See here, Bailey, didn't you start to tell us somethin'
+last time you was in here about your ridin' in an automobile?"
+
+"I started to--yes. But nobody'd listen. I rode in one and I sailed in
+one. You see--"
+
+"I'm goin' outdoor," declared Barzilla.
+
+"No, you're not. Bailey listened to you. Now you do as much for him. I
+heard a little somethin' about the affair at the time it happened and
+I'd like to hear the rest of it. How was it, Bailey?"
+
+Captain Stitt knocked the ashes from his pipe.
+
+"Well," he began, "I didn't know the critter was weak in his top riggin'
+or I wouldn't have gone with him in the fust place. And he wa'n't
+real loony, nuther. 'Twas only when he got aboard that--that ungodly,
+kerosene-smellin', tootin', buzzin', Old Harry's gocart of his that the
+craziness begun to show. There's so many of them weak-minded city folks
+from the Ocean House comes perusin' 'round summers, nowadays, that
+I cal'lated he was just an average specimen, and never examined him
+close."
+
+"Are all the Ocean House boarders weak-minded nowadays?" asked the depot
+master.
+
+Mr. Wingate answered the question.
+
+"My land!" he snapped; "would they board at the Ocean House if they
+WA'N'T weak-minded?"
+
+Captain Bailey did not deign to reply to this jibe. He continued calmly:
+
+"This feller wa'n't an Ocean Houser, though. He was young Stumpton's
+automobile skipper-shover, or shofer, or somethin' they called him. He
+answered to the hail of Billings, and his home port was the Stumpton
+ranch, 'way out in Montana. He'd been here in Orham only a couple of
+weeks, havin' come plumb across the United States to fetch his boss the
+new automobile. You see, 'twas early October. The Stumptons had left
+their summer place on the Cliff Road, and was on their way South for
+the winter. Young Stumpton was up to Boston, but he was comin' back in
+a couple of days, and then him and the shover was goin' automobilin' to
+Florida. To Florida, mind you! In that thing! If it was me I'd buy my
+ticket to Tophet direct and save time and money.
+
+"Well, anyhow, this critter Billings, he ain't never smelt salt water
+afore, and he don't like the smell. He makes proclamations that Orham is
+nothin' but sand, slush, and soft drinks. He won't sail, he can't
+swim, he won't fish; but he's hankerin' to shoot somethin', havin' been
+brought up in a place where if you don't shoot some of the neighbors
+every day or so folks think you're stuck up and dissociable. Then
+somebody tells him it's the duckin' season down to Setuckit P'int, and
+he says he'll spend his day off, while the boss is away, massycreein'
+the coots there. This same somebody whispers that I know so much about
+ducks that I quack when I talk, and he comes cruisin' over in the buzz
+cart to hire me for guide. And--would you b'lieve it?--it turns out that
+he's cal'latin' to make his duckin' v'yage in that very cart. I was for
+makin' the trip in a boat, like a sensible man, but he wouldn't hear of
+it.
+
+"'Land of love!' says I. 'Go to Setuckit in a automobile?'
+
+"'Why not?' he says. 'The biscuit shooter up at the hotel tells me
+there's a smart chance of folks goes there a-horseback. And where a hoss
+can travel I reckon the old gal here'--slappin' the thwart of the auto
+alongside of him--'can go, too!'
+
+"'But there's the Cut-through,' says I.
+
+"''Tain't nothin' but a creek when the freshet's over, they tell me,'
+says he. 'And me and the boss have forded four foot of river in this
+very machine.'
+
+"By the 'freshet' bein' over I judged he meant the tide bein' out. And
+the Cut-through ain't but a little trickle then, though it's a quarter
+mile wide and deep enough to float a schooner at high water. It's the
+strip of channel that makes Setuckit Beach an island, you know. The
+gov'ment has had engineers down dredgin' of it out, and pretty soon fish
+boats'll be able to save the twenty-mile sail around the P'int and into
+Orham Harbor at all hours.
+
+"Well, to make a long story short, I agreed to let him cart me to
+Setuckit P'int in that everlastin' gas carryall. We was to start at four
+o'clock in the afternoon, 'cause the tide at the Cut-through would be
+dead low at half-past four. We'd stay overnight at my shanty at the
+P'int, get up airly, shoot all day, and come back the next afternoon.
+
+"At four prompt he was on hand, ready for me. I loaded in the guns and
+grub and one thing or 'nother, and then 'twas time for me to get aboard
+myself.
+
+"'You'll set in the tonneau,' says he, indicatin' the upholstered after
+cockpit of the concern. I opened up the shiny hatch, under orders from
+him, and climbed in among the upholstery. 'Twas soft as a feather bed.
+
+"'Jerushy!' says I, lollin' back luxurious. This is fine, ain't it?'
+
+"'Cost seventy-five hundred to build,' he says casual. 'Made to order
+for the boss. Lightest car of her speed ever turned out.'
+
+"'Go 'way! How you talk! Seventy-five hundred what? Not dollars?'
+
+"'Sure,' he says. Then he turns round--he was in the bow, hangin' on to
+the steerin' wheel--and looks me over, kind of interested, but superior.
+'Say,' he says, 'I've been hearin' things about you. You're a hero,
+ain't you?'
+
+"Durn them Orham gabblers! Ever sence I hauled that crew of seasick
+summer boarders out of the drink a couple of years ago and the gov'ment
+gave me a medal, the minister and some more of his gang have painted out
+the name I was launched under and had me entered on the shippin' list
+as 'The Hero.' I've licked two or three for callin' me that, but I can't
+lick a parson, and he was the one that told Billings.
+
+"'Oh, I don't know!' I answers pretty sharp. 'Get her under way, why
+don't you?'
+
+"All he done was look me over some more and grin.
+
+"'A hero! A real live gov'ment-branded hero!' he says. 'Ain't scared of
+nothin', I reckon--hey?'
+
+"I never made no answer. There's some things that's too fresh to eat
+without salt, and I didn't have a pickle tub handy.
+
+"'Hum!' he says again, reverend-like. 'A sure hero; scared of nothin'!
+Never rode in an auto afore, did you?'
+
+"'No,' says I, peppery; 'and I don't see no present symptom of ridin' in
+one now. Cast off, won't you?'
+
+"He cast off. That is to say, he hauled a nickel-plated marlinespike
+thing toward him, shoved another one away from him, took a twist on the
+steerin' wheel, the gocart coughed like a horse with the heaves, started
+up some sort of buzz-planer underneath, and then we begun to move.
+
+"From the time we left my shanty at South Orham till we passed the pines
+at Herrin' Neck I laid back in that stuffed cockpit, feelin' as grand
+and tainted as old John D. himself. The automobile rolled along smooth
+but swift, and it seemed to me I had never known what easy trav'lin' was
+afore. As we rounded the bend by the pines and opened up the twelve-mile
+narrow white stretch of Setuckit Beach ahead of us, with the ocean on
+one side and the bay on t'other, I looked at my watch. We'd come that
+fur in thirteen minutes.
+
+"'Land sakes!' I says. 'This is what I call movin' right along!'
+
+"He turned round and sized me up again, like he was surprised.
+
+"'Movin'?' says he. 'Movin'? Why, pard, we've been settin' down to rest!
+Out our way, if a lynchin' party didn't move faster than we've done so
+fur, the center of attraction would die on the road of old age. Now, my
+heroic college chum,' he goes on, callin' me out of my name, as usual,
+'will you be so condescendin' as to indicate how we hit the trail?'
+
+"'Hit--hit which? Don't hit nothin', for goodness' sake! Goin' the way
+we be, it would--'
+
+"'Which way do we go?'
+
+"'Right straight ahead. Keep on the ocean side, 'cause there's more hard
+sand there, and--hold on! Don't do that! Stop it, I tell you!'
+
+"Them was the last rememberable words said by me durin' the next quarter
+of an hour. That shover man let out a hair-raisin' yell, hauled the
+nickel marlinespike over in its rack, and squeezed a rubber bag that was
+spliced to the steerin' wheel. There was a half dozen toots or howls or
+honks from under our bows somewheres, and then that automobile hopped
+off the ground and commenced to fly. The fust hop landed me on my knees
+in the cockpit, and there I stayed. 'Twas the most fittin' position
+fur my frame of mind and chimed in fust-rate with the general religious
+drift of my thoughts.
+
+"The Cut-through is two mile or more from Herrin' Neck. 'Cordin' to my
+count we hit terra cotta just three times in them two miles. The fust
+hit knocked my hat off. The second one chucked me up so high I looked
+back for the hat, and though we was a half mile away from it, it hadn't
+had time to git to the ground. And all the while the horn was a-honkin',
+and Billings was a-screechin, and the sand was a-flyin'. Sand! Why,
+say! Do you see that extra bald place on the back of my head? Yes? Well,
+there was a two-inch thatch of hair there afore that sand blast ground
+it off.
+
+"When I went up on the third jounce I noticed the Cut-through just
+ahead. Billings see it, too, and--would you b'lieve it?--the lunatic
+stood up, let go of the wheel with one hand, takes off his hat and waves
+it, and we charge down across them wet tide flats like death on the
+woolly horse, in Scriptur'.
+
+"'Hi, yah! Yip!' whoops Billings. 'Come on in, fellers! The water's
+fine! Yow! Y-e-e-e! Yip!'
+
+"For a second it left off rainin' sand, and there was a typhoon of
+mud and spray. I see a million of the prettiest rainbows--that is, I
+cal'lated there was a million; it's awful hard to count when you're
+bouncin' and prayin' and drowndin' all to once. Then we sizzed out of
+the channel, over the flats on t'other side, and on toward Setuckit.
+
+"Never mind the rest of the ride. 'Twas all a sort of constant changin'
+sameness. I remember passin' a blurred life-savin' station, with
+three--or maybe thirty--blurred men jumpin' and laughin' and hollerin'.
+I found out afterwards that they'd been on the lookout for the bombshell
+for half an hour. Billings had told around town what he was goin' to
+do to me, and some kind friend had telephoned it to the station. So the
+life-savers was full of anticipations. I hope they were satisfied. I
+hadn't rehearsed my part of the show none, but I feel what the parson
+calls a consciousness of havin' done my best.
+
+"'Whoa, gal!' says Billings, calm and easy, puttin' the helm hard down.
+The auto was standin' still at last. Part of me was hangin' over the lee
+rail. I could see out of the part, so I knew 'twas my head. And there
+alongside was my fish shanty at the P'int, goin' round and round in
+circles.
+
+"I undid the hatch of the cockpit and fell out on the sand. Then I
+scrambled up and caught hold of the shanty as it went past me. That fool
+shover watched me, seemin'ly interested.
+
+"'Why, pard,' says he, 'what's the matter? Do you feel pale? Are you
+nervous? It ain't possible that you're scared? Honest, now, pard, if it
+weren't that I knew you were a genuine gold-mounted hero I'd sure think
+you was a scared man.'
+
+"I never said nothin'. The scenery and me was just turnin' the mark buoy
+on our fourth lap.
+
+"'Dear me, pard!' continues Billings. 'I sure hope I ain't scared you
+none. We come down a little slow this evenin', but to-morrow night, when
+I take you back home, I'll let the old girl out a little.'
+
+"I sensed some of that. And as the shanty had about come to anchor, I
+answered and spoke my mind.
+
+"'When you take me back home!' I says. 'When you do! Why, you
+crack-brained, murderin' lunatic, I wouldn't cruise in that hell wagon
+of yours again for the skipper's wages on a Cunarder. No, nor the mate's
+hove in!'
+
+"And that shover he put his head back and laughed and laughed and
+laughed."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XVI
+
+THE CRUISE OF THE RED CAR
+
+
+"I don't wonder he laughed," observed Wingate, who seemed to enjoy
+irritating his friend. "You must have been good as a circus."
+
+"Humph!" grunted the depot master. "If I remember right you said YOU
+wa'n't any ten-cent side show under similar circumstances, Barzilla.
+Heave ahead, Bailey!"
+
+Captain Stitt, unruffled, resumed:
+
+"I tell you, I had to take it that evenin'," he said. "All the time I
+was cookin' and while he was eatin' supper, Billings was rubbin' it
+into me about my bein' scared. Called me all the saltwater-hero names
+he could think of--'Hobson' and 'Dewey' and the like of that, usin' em
+sarcastic, of course. Finally, he said he remembered readin' in school,
+when he was little, about a girl hero, name of Grace Darlin'. Said he
+cal'lated, if I didn't mind, he'd call me Grace, 'cause it was heroic
+and yet kind of fitted in with my partic'lar brand of bravery. I didn't
+answer much; he had me down, and I knew it. Likewise I judged he was
+more or less out of his head; no sane man would yell the way he done
+aboard that automobile.
+
+"Then he commenced to spin yarns about himself and his doin's, and
+pretty soon it come out that he'd been a cowboy afore young Stumpton
+give up ranchin' and took to automobilin'. That cleared the sky line
+some, of course; I'd read consider'ble about cowboys in the ten-cent
+books my nephew fetched home when he was away to school. I see right off
+that Billings was the livin' image of Deadwood Dick and Wild Bill and
+the rest in them books; they yelled and howled and hadn't no regard for
+life and property any more'n he had. No, sir! He wa'n't no crazier'n
+they was; it was in the breed, I judged.
+
+"'I sure wish I had you on the ranch, Grace,' says he. 'Why don't you
+come West some day? That's where a hero like you would show up strong.'
+
+"'Godfrey mighty!' I sings out. 'I wouldn't come nigh such a nest of
+crazy murderers as that fur no money! I'd sooner ride in that automobile
+of yours, and St. Peter himself couldn't coax me into THAT again, not if
+'twas fur a cruise plumb up the middle of the golden street!'
+
+"I meant it, too, and the next afternoon when it come time to start
+for home he found out that I meant it. We'd shot a lot of ducks, and
+Billings was havin' such a good time that I had to coax and tease him
+as if he was a young one afore he'd think of quittin'. It was quarter
+of six when he backed the gas cart out of the shed. I was uneasy, 'cause
+'twas past low-water time, and there was fog comin' on.
+
+"'Brace up, Dewey!' says he. 'Get in.'
+
+"'No, Mr. Billings,' says I. 'I ain't goin' to get in. You take that
+craft of yourn home, and I'll sail up alongside in my dory.'
+
+"'In your which?' says he.
+
+"'In my dory,' I says. 'That's her hauled up on the beach abreast the
+shanty.'
+
+"He looked at the dory and then at me.
+
+"'Go on!' says he. 'You ain't goin' to pack yourself twelve mile on THAT
+SHINGLE?'
+
+"'Sartin I am! says I. 'I ain't takin' no more chances.'
+
+"Do you know, he actually seemed to think I was crazy then. Seemed to
+figger that the dory wa'n't big enough; and she's carried five easy
+afore now. We had an argument that lasted twenty minutes more, and the
+fog driftin' in nigher all the time. At last he got sick of arguin',
+ripped out somethin' brisk and personal, and got his tin shop to movin'.
+
+"'You want to cross over to the ocean side,' I called after him. 'The
+Cut-through's been dredged at the bay end, remember.'
+
+"'Be hanged!' he yells, or more emphatic. And off he whizzed. I see him
+go, and fetched a long breath. Thanks to a merciful Providence, I'd come
+so fur without bein' buttered on the undercrust of that automobile or
+scalped with its crazy shover's bowie knife.
+
+"Ten minutes later I was beatin' out into the bay in my dory. All
+around was the fog, thin as poorhouse gruel so fur, but thickenin' every
+minute. I was worried; not for myself, you understand, but for that
+cowboy shover. I was afraid he wouldn't fetch t'other side of the
+Cut-through. There wa'n't much wind, and I had to make long tacks. I
+took the inshore channel, and kept listenin' all the time. And at last,
+when 'twas pretty dark and I was cal'latin' to be about abreast of the
+bay end of the Cut-through, I heard from somewheres ashore a dismal
+honkin' kind of noise, same as a wild goose might make if 'twas chokin'
+to death and not resigned to the worst.
+
+"'My land!' says I. 'It's happened!' And I come about and headed
+straight in for the beach. I struck it just alongside the gov'ment
+shanty. The engineers had knocked off work for the week, waitin' for
+supplies, but they hadn't took away their dunnage.
+
+"'Hi!' I yells, as I hauled up the dory. 'Hi-i-i! Billings, where be
+you?'
+
+"The honkin' stopped and back comes the answer; there was joy in it.
+
+"'What? Is that Cap'n Stitt?'
+
+"'Yes,' I sings out. 'Where be you?'
+
+"'I'm stuck out here in the middle of the crick. And there's a flood on.
+Help me, can't you?'
+
+"Next minute I was aboard the dory, rowin' her against the tide up the
+channel. Pretty quick I got where I could see him through the fog and
+dark. The auto was on the flat in the middle of the Cut-through, and
+the water was hub high already. Billings was standin' up on the for'ard
+thwart, makin' wet footmarks all over them expensive cushions.
+
+"'Lord,' says he, 'I sure am glad to see you, pard! Can we get to land,
+do you think?'
+
+"'Land?' says I, makin' the dory fast alongside and hoppin' out into the
+drink. ''Course we can land! What's the matter with your old derelict?
+Sprung a leak, has it?'
+
+"He went on to explain that the automobile had broke down when he struck
+the flat, and he couldn't get no farther. He'd been honkin' and howlin'
+for ten year at least, so he reckoned.
+
+"'Why in time,' says I, 'didn't you mind me and go up the ocean side?
+And why in nation didn't you go ashore and--But never mind that now. Let
+me think. Here! You set where you be.'
+
+"As I shoved off in the dory again he turned loose a distress signal.
+
+"'Where you goin'?' he yells. 'Say, pard, you ain't goin' to leave me
+here, are you?'
+
+"'I'll be back in a shake,' says I, layin' to my oars. 'Don't holler so!
+You'll have the life-savers down here, and then the joke'll be on us.
+Hush, can't you? I'll be right back!'
+
+"I rowed up channel a little ways, and then I sighted the place I
+was bound for. Them gov'ment folks had another shanty farther up the
+Cut-through. Moored out in front of it was a couple of big floats, for
+their stone sloops to tie up to at high water. The floats were made of
+empty kerosene barrels and planks, and they'd have held up a house easy.
+I run alongside the fust one, cut the anchor cable with my jackknife,
+and next minute I was navigatin' that float down channel, steerin' it
+with my oar and towin' the dory astern.
+
+"'Twas no slouch of a job, pilotin' that big float, but part by steerin'
+and part by polin' I managed to land her broadside on to the auto. I
+made her fast with the cable ends and went back after the other float.
+This one was a bigger job than the fust, but by and by that gas wagon,
+with planks under her and cable lashin's holdin' her firm, was restin'
+easy as a settin' hen between them two floats. I unshipped my mast,
+fetched it aboard the nighest float, and spread the sail over the
+biggest part of the brasswork and upholstery.
+
+"'There,' says I, 'if it rains durin' the night she'll keep pretty
+dry. Now I'll take the dory and row back to the shanty after some spare
+anchors there is there.'
+
+"'But what's it fur, pard?' asks Billings for the nine hundred and
+ninety-ninth time. 'Why don't we go where it's dry? The flood's risin'
+all the time.'
+
+"'Let it rise,' I says. 'I cal'late when it gets high enough them
+floats'll rise with it and lift the automobile up, too. If she's
+anchored bow and stern she'll hold, unless it comes on to blow a gale,
+and to-morrow mornin' at low tide maybe you can tinker her up so she'll
+go.'
+
+"'Go?' says he, like he was astonished. 'Do you mean to say you're
+reckonin' to save the CAR?'
+
+"'Good land!' I says, starin' at him. 'What else d'you s'pose? Think I'd
+let seventy-five hundred dollars' wuth of gilt-edged extravagance go to
+the bottom? What did you cal'late I was tryin' to save--the clam flat?
+Give me that dory rope; I'm goin' after them anchors. Sufferin' snakes!
+Where IS the dory? What have you done with it?'
+
+"He'd been holdin' the bight of the dory rodin'. I handed it to him so's
+he'd have somethin' to take up his mind. And, by time, he'd forgot all
+about it and let it drop! And the dory had gone adrift and was out of
+sight.
+
+"'Gosh!' says he, astonished-like. 'Pard, the son of a gun has slipped
+his halter!'
+
+"I was pretty mad--dories don't grow on every beach plum bush--but there
+wa'n't nothin' to say that fitted the case, so I didn't try.
+
+"'Humph!' says I. 'Well, I'll have to swim ashore, that's all, and go up
+to the station inlet after another boat. You stand by the ship. If she
+gets afloat afore I come back you honk and holler and I'll row after
+you. I'll fetch the anchors and we'll moor her wherever she happens to
+be. If she shouldn't float on an even keel, or goes to capsize, you jump
+overboard and swim ashore. I'll--'
+
+"'Swim?' says he, with a shake in his voice. 'Why, pard, I can't swim!'
+
+"I turned and looked at him. Shover of a two-mile-a-minute gold-plated
+butcher cart like that, a cowboy murderer that et his friends for
+breakfast--and couldn't swim! I fetched a kind of combination groan and
+sigh, turned back the sail, climbed aboard the automobile, and lit up my
+pipe.
+
+"'What are you settin' there for?' says he. 'What are you goin' to do?'
+
+"'Do?' says I. 'Wait, that's all--wait and smoke. We won't have to wait
+long.'
+
+"My prophesyin' was good. We didn't have to wait very long. It was pitch
+dark, foggy as ever, and the tide a-risin' fast. The floats got to be
+a-wash. I shinned out onto 'em, picked up the oar that had been left
+there, and took my seat again. Billings climbed in, too, only--and
+it kind of shows the change sence the previous evenin'--he was in the
+passenger cockpit astern, and I was for'ard in the pilot house. For a
+reckless daredevil he was actin' mighty fidgety.
+
+"And at last one of the floats swung off the sand. The automobile tipped
+scandalous. It looked as if we was goin' on our beam ends. Billings let
+out an awful yell. Then t'other float bobbed up and the whole shebang,
+car and all, drifted out and down the channel.
+
+"My lashin's held--I cal'lated they would. Soon's I was sure of that I
+grabbed up the oar and shoved it over the stern between the floats. I
+hoped I could round her to after we passed the mouth of the Cut-through,
+and make port on the inside beach. But not in that tide. Inside of five
+minutes I see 'twas no use; we was bound across the bay.
+
+"And now commenced a v'yage that beat any ever took sence Noah's time,
+I cal'late; and even Noah never went to sea in an automobile, though
+the one animal I had along was as much trouble as his whole menagerie.
+Billings was howlin' blue murder.
+
+"'Stop that bellerin'!' I ordered. 'Quit it, d'you hear! You'll have the
+station crew out after us, and they'll guy me till I can't rest. Shut
+up! If you don't, I'll--I'll swim ashore and leave you.'
+
+"I was takin' big chances, as I look at it now. He might have drawed a
+bowie knife or a lasso on me; 'cordin' to his yarns he'd butchered folks
+for a good sight less'n that. But he kept quiet this time, only gurglin'
+some when the ark tilted. I had time to think of another idee. You
+remember the dory sail, mast and all, was alongside that cart. I clewed
+up the canvas well as I could and managed to lash the mast up straight
+over the auto's bows. Then I shook out the sail.
+
+"'Here!' says I, turnin' to Billings. 'You hang on to that sheet. No,
+you needn't nuther. Make it fast to that cleat alongside.'
+
+"I couldn't see his face plain, but his voice had a funny tremble to it;
+reminded me of my own when I climbed out of that very cart after he'd
+jounced me down to Setuckit the day before.
+
+"'What?' he says. 'Wh-what? What sheet? I don't see any sheet. What do
+you want me to do?'
+
+"'Tie this line to that cleat. That cleat there! CLEAT, you lubber!
+CLEAT! That knob! MAKE IT FAST! Oh, my gosh t'mighty! Get out of my
+way!'
+
+"The critter had tied the sheet to the handle of the door instead of the
+one I meant, and the pull of the sail hauled the door open and pretty
+nigh ripped it off the hinges. I had to climb into the cockpit and
+straighten out the mess. I was losin' my temper; I do hate bunglin'
+seamanship aboard a craft of mine.
+
+"'But what'll become of us?' begs Billings. 'Will we drown?'
+
+"'What in tunket do we want to drown for? Ain't we got a good sailin'
+breeze and the whole bay to stay on top of--fifty foot of water and
+more?'
+
+"'Fifty foot!' he yells. 'Is there fifty foot of water underneath us
+now? Pard, you don't mean it!'
+
+"'Course I mean it. Good thing, too!'
+
+"'But fifty foot! It's enough to drown in ten times over!'
+
+"'Can't drown but once, can you? And I'd just as soon drown in fifty
+foot as four--ruther, 'cause 'twouldn't take so long.'
+
+"He didn't answer out loud; but I heard him talkin' to himself pretty
+constant.
+
+"We was well out in the bay by now, and the seas was a little mite more
+rugged--nothin' to hurt, you understand, but the floats was all foam,
+and once in a while we'd ship a little spray. And every time that
+happened Billings would jump and grab for somethin' solid--sometimes
+'twas the upholstery and sometimes 'twas me. He wa'n't on the thwart,
+but down in a heap on the cockpit floor.
+
+"'Let go of my leg!' I sings out, after we'd hit a high wave and that
+shover had made a more'n ordinary savage claw at my underpinnin'. 'You
+make me nervous. Drat this everlastin' fog! somethin'll bump into us if
+we don't look out. Here, you go for'ard and light them cruisin' lights.
+They ain't colored 'cordin' to regulations, but they'll have to do. Go
+for'ard! What you waitin' for?'
+
+"Well, it turned out that he didn't like to leave that cockpit. I was
+mad.
+
+"'Go for'ard there and light them lights!' I yelled, hangin' to the
+steerin' oar and keepin' the ark runnin' afore the wind.
+
+"'I won't!' he says, loud and emphatic. 'Think I'm a blame fool? I sure
+would be a jack rabbit to climb over them seats the way they're buckin'
+and light them lamps. You're talkin' through your hat!'
+
+"Well, I hadn't no business to do it, but, you see, I was on salt water,
+and skipper, as you might say, of the junk we was afloat in; and if
+there's one thing I never would stand it's mutiny. I hauled in the oar,
+jumped over the cockpit rail, and went for him. He see me comin', stood
+up, tried to get out of the way, and fell overboard backwards. Part of
+him lit on one of the floats, but the biggest part trailed in the water
+between the two. He clawed with his hands, but the planks was slippery,
+and he slid astern fast. Just as he reached the last plank and slid off
+and under I jumped after him and got him by the scruff of the neck. I
+had hold of the lashin' end with one hand, and we tailed out behind the
+ark, which was sloppin' along, graceful as an elephant on skates.
+
+"I was pretty well beat out when I yanked him into that cockpit
+again. Neither of us said anything for a spell, breath bein' scurce as
+di'monds. But when he'd collected some of his, he spoke.
+
+"'Pard,' he says, puffin', 'I'm much obleeged to you. I reckon I sure
+ain't treated you right. If it hadn't been for you that time I'd--'
+
+"But I was b'ilin' over. I whirled on him like a teetotum.
+
+"'Drat your hide!' I says. 'When you speak to your officer you say sir!
+And now you go for'ard and light them lights. Don't you answer back!
+If you do I'll fix you so's you'll never ship aboard another vessel!
+For'ard there! Lively, you lubber, lively!'
+
+"He went for'ard, takin' consider'ble time and hangin' on for dear life.
+But somehow or 'nuther he got the lights to goin'; and all the time
+I hazed him terrible. I was mate on an Australian packet afore I went
+fishin' to the Banks, and I can haze some. I blackguarded that shover
+awful.
+
+"'Ripperty-rip your everlastin' blankety-blanked dough head!' I roared
+at him. 'You ain't wuth the weight to sink you. For'ard there and get
+that fog horn to goin'! And keep it goin'! Lively, you sculpin! Don't
+you open your mouth to me!'
+
+"Well, all night we sloshed along, straight acrost the bay. We must
+have been a curious sight to look at. The floats was awash, so that the
+automobile looked like she was ridin' the waves all by her lonesome; the
+lamps was blazin' at either side of the bow; Billings was a-tootin'
+the rubber fog horn as if he was wound up; and I was standin' on the
+cushions amidships, keepin' the whole calabash afore the wind.
+
+"We never met another craft the whole night through. Yes, we did meet
+one. Old Ezra Cahoon, of Harniss, was out in his dory stealin' quahaugs
+from Seth Andrews's bed over nigh the Wapatomac shore. Ezra stayed long
+enough to get one good glimpse of us as we bust through the fog; then he
+cut his rodin' and laid to his oars, bound for home and mother. We could
+hear him screech for half an hour after he left us.
+
+"Ez told next day that the devil had come ridin' acrost the bay after
+him in a chariot of fire. Said he could smell the brimstone and hear
+the trumpet callin' him to judgment. Likewise he hove in a lot of
+particulars concernin' the personal appearance of the Old Boy himself,
+who, he said, was standin' up wavin' a red-hot pitchfork. Some folks
+might have been flattered at bein' took for such a famous character; but
+I wa'n't; I'm retirin' by nature, and besides, Ez's description
+wa'n't cal'lated to bust a body's vanity b'iler. I was prouder of the
+consequences, the same bein' that Ezra signed the Good Templars' pledge
+that afternoon, and kept it for three whole months, just sixty-nine days
+longer than any previous attack within the memory of man had lasted.
+
+"And finally, just as mornin' was breakin', the bows of the floats slid
+easy and slick up on a hard, sandy beach. Then the sun riz and the
+fog lifted, and there we was within sight of the South Ostable
+meetin'-house. We'd sailed eighteen miles in that ark and made a better
+landin' blindfold than we ever could have made on purpose.
+
+"I hauled down the sail, unshipped the mast, and jumped ashore to find
+a rock big enough to use for a makeshift anchor. It wa'n't more'n three
+minutes after we fust struck afore my boots hit dry ground, but Billings
+beat me one hundred and seventy seconds, at that. When I had time to
+look at that shover man he was a cable's length from high-tide mark,
+settin' down and grippin' a bunch of beach grass as if he was afeard the
+sand was goin' to slide from under him; and you never seen a yallerer,
+more upset critter in your born days.
+
+"Well, I got the ark anchored, after a fashion, and then we walked up to
+the South Ostable tavern. Peleg Small, who runs the place, he knows me,
+so he let me have a room and I turned in for a nap. I slept about three
+hours. When I woke up I started out to hunt the automobile and Billings.
+Both of 'em looked consider'ble better than they had when I see 'em
+last. The shover had got a gang of men and they'd got the gas cart
+ashore, and Billings and a blacksmith was workin' over--or rather
+under--the clockwork.
+
+"'Hello!' I hails, comin' alongside.
+
+"Billings sticks his head out from under the tinware.
+
+"'Hi, pard!' says he. I noticed he hadn't called me 'Grace' nor 'Dewey'
+for a long spell. Hi, pard,' he says, gettin' to his feet, 'the old gal
+ain't hurt a hair. She'll be good as ever in a couple of hours. Then you
+and me can start for Orham.'
+
+"'In HER?' says I.
+
+"'Sure,' he says.
+
+"'Not by a jugful!' says I, emphatic. 'I'll borrer a boat to get to
+Orham in, when I'm ready to go. You won't ketch me in that man killer
+again; and you can call me a coward all you want to!'
+
+"'A coward?' says he. 'You a coward? And--Why, you was in that car all
+night!'
+
+"'Oh!' I says. 'Last night was diff'rent. The thing was on water then,
+and when I've got enough water underneath me I know I'm safe.'
+
+"'Safe!' he sings out. 'SAFE! Well, by--gosh! Pard, I hate to say it,
+but it's the Lord's truth--you had me doin' my "Now I lay me's"!'
+
+"For a minute we looked at each other. Then says I, sort of thinkin' out
+loud, 'I cal'late,' I says, 'that whether a man's brave or not depends
+consider'ble on whether he's used to his latitude. It's all accordin'.
+It lays in the bringin' up, as the duck said when the hen tried to
+swim.'
+
+"He nodded solemn. 'Pard,' says he, 'I sure reckon you've called the
+turn. Let's shake hands on it.'
+
+"So we shook; and . . ."
+
+Captain Bailey stopped short and sprang from his chair. "There's my
+train comin'," he shouted. "Good-by, Sol! So long, Barzilla! Keep away
+from fortune tellers and pretty servant girls or YOU'LL be gettin'
+married pretty soon. Good-by."
+
+He darted out of the waiting room and his companions followed. Mr.
+Wingate, having a few final calls to make, left the station soon
+afterwards and did not return until evening. And that evening he heard
+news which surprised him.
+
+As he and Captain Sol were exchanging a last handshake on the platform,
+Barzilla said:
+
+"Well, Sol, I've enjoyed loafin' around here and yarnin' with you, same
+as I always do. I'll be over again in a month or so and we'll have some
+more."
+
+The Captain shook his head. "I may not be here then, Barzilla," he
+observed.
+
+"May not be here? What do you mean by that?"
+
+"I mean that I don't know exactly where I shall be. I shan't be depot
+master, anyway."
+
+"Shan't be depot master? YOU won't? Why, what on airth--"
+
+"I sent in my resignation four days ago. Nobody knows it, except you,
+not even Issy, but the new depot master for East Harniss will be here to
+take my place on the mornin' of the twelfth, that's two days off."
+
+"Why! Why! SOL!"
+
+"Yes. Keep mum about it. I'll--I'll let you know what I decide to do. I
+ain't settled it myself yet. Good-by, Barzilla."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XVII
+
+ISSY'S REVENGE
+
+
+The following morning, at nine o'clock, Issy McKay sat upon the heap of
+rusty chain cable outside the blacksmith's shop at Denboro, reading,
+as usual, a love story. Issy was taking a "day off." He had begged
+permission of Captain Sol Berry, the permission had been granted,
+and Issy had come over to Denboro, the village eight miles above East
+Harniss, in his "power dory," or gasoline boat, the Lady May. The Lady
+May was a relic of the time before Issy was assistant depot master, when
+he gained a precarious living by quahauging, separating the reluctant
+bivalve from its muddy house on the bay bottom with an iron rake, the
+handle of which was forty feet long. Issy had been seized with a desire
+to try quahauging once more, hence his holiday. The rake was broken
+and he had put in at Denboro to have it fixed. While the blacksmith was
+busy, Issy laboriously spelled out the harrowing chapters of "Vivian,
+the Shop Girl; or Lord Lyndhurst's Lowly Love."
+
+A grinning, freckled face peered cautiously around the corner of the
+blacksmith's front fence. Then an overripe potato whizzed through the
+air and burst against the shop wall a few inches from the reader's head.
+Issy jumped.
+
+"You--you everlastin' young ones, you!" he shouted fiercely. "If I
+git my hands onto you, you'll wish you'd--I see you hidin' behind that
+fence."
+
+Two barefooted little figures danced provokingly in the roadway and two
+shrill voices chanted in derision:
+
+     "Is McKay--Is McKay--
+     Makes the Injuns run away!
+
+"Scalped anybody lately, Issy?"
+
+Alas for the indiscretions of youth! The tale of Issy's early expedition
+in search of scalps and glory was known from one end of Ostable County
+to the other. It had made him famous, in a way.
+
+"If I git a-holt of you kids, I'll bet there'll be some scalpin' done,"
+retorted the persecuted one, rising from the heap of cable.
+
+A second potato burst like a bombshell on the shingles behind him.
+McKay was a good general, in that he knew when it was wisest to retreat.
+Shoving the paper novel into his overalls pocket, he entered the shop.
+
+"What's the matter, Is?" inquired the grinning blacksmith. Most people
+grinned when they spoke to Issy. "Gittin' too hot outside there, was it?
+Why don't you tomahawk 'em and have 'em for supper?"
+
+"Humph!" grunted the offended quahauger. "Don't git gay now, Jake
+Larkin. You hurry up with that rake."
+
+"Oh, all right, Is. Don't sculp ME; I ain't done nothin'. What's the
+news over to East Harniss?"
+
+"Oh, I don't know. Not much. Sam Bartlett, he started for Boston this
+mornin'."
+
+"Who? Sam Bartlett? I want to know! Thought he was down for six weeks.
+You sure about that, Is?"
+
+"Course I'm sure. I was up to the depot and see him buy his ticket and
+git on the cars."
+
+"Did, hey? Humph! So Sam's gone. Gertie Higgins still over to her Aunt
+Hannah's at Trumet?"
+
+Issy looked at his questioner. "Why, yes," he said suspiciously.
+"I s'pose she's there. Fact, I know she is. Pat Starkey's doin' the
+telegraphin' while she's away. What made you ask that?"
+
+The blacksmith chuckled. "Oh, nothin'," he said. "How's her dad's
+dyspepsy? Had any more of them sudden attacks of his? I cal'late they'll
+take the old man off some of these days, won't they? I hear the doctor
+thinks there's more heart than stomach in them attacks."
+
+But the skipper of the Lady May was not to be put off thus. "What you
+drivin' at, Jake?" he demanded. "What's Sam Bartlett's goin' away got to
+do with Gertie Higgins?"
+
+In his eagerness he stepped to Mr. Larkin's side. The blacksmith caught
+sight of the novel in his customer's pocket. He snatched it forth.
+
+"What you readin' now, Is?" he demanded. "More blood and brimstone?
+'Vivy Ann, the Shop Girl!' Gee! Wow!"
+
+"You gimme that book, Jake Larkin! Gimme it now!"
+
+Fending the frantic quahauger off with one mighty arm, the blacksmith
+proceeded to read aloud:
+
+"'Darlin',' cried Lord Lyndhurst, strainin' the beautiful and blushin'
+maid to his manly bosom, 'you are mine at last. Mine! No--' Jerushy! a
+love story! Why, Issy! I didn't know you was in love. Who's the lucky
+girl? Send me an invite to your weddin', won't you?"
+
+Issy's face was a fiery red. He tore the precious volume from its
+desecrator's hand, losing the pictured cover in the struggle.
+
+"You--you pesky fool!" he shouted. "You mind your own business."
+
+The blacksmith roared in glee. "Oh, ho!" he cried. "Issy's in love and
+I never guessed it. Aw, say, Is, don't be mean! Who is she? Have you
+strained her to your manly bosom yit? What's her name?"
+
+"Shut up!" shrieked Issy, and strode out of the shop. His tormentor
+begged him not to "go off mad," and shouted sarcastic sympathy after
+him. But Mr. McKay heeded not. He stalked angrily along the sidewalk.
+Then espying just ahead of him the boys who had thrown the potatoes,
+he paused, turned, and walking down the carriageway at the side of the
+blacksmith's place of business, sat down upon a sawhorse under one of
+its rear windows. He could, at least, be alone here and think; and he
+wanted to think.
+
+For Issy--although he didn't look it--was deeply interested in another
+love story as well as that in his pocket. This one was printed upon
+his heart's pages, and in it he was the hero, while the heroine--the
+unsuspecting heroine--was Gertie Higgins, daughter of Beriah Higgins,
+once a fisherman, now the crotchety and dyspeptic proprietor of the
+"general store" and postmaster at East Harniss.
+
+This story began when Issy first acquired the Lady May. The Higgins home
+stood on the slope close to the boat landing, and when Issy came in from
+quahauging, Gertie was likely to be in the back yard, hanging out the
+clothes or watering the flower garden. Sometimes she spoke to him of her
+own accord, concerning the weather or other important topics. Once
+she even asked him if he were going to the Fourth of July ball at the
+town-hall. It took him until the next morning--like other warriors, Issy
+was cursed with shyness--to summon courage enough to ask her to go to
+the ball with him. Then he found it was too late; she was going with
+her cousin, Lennie Bloomer. But he felt that she had offered him the
+opportunity, and was happy and hopeful accordingly.
+
+This, however, was before she went to Boston to study telegraphy. When
+she returned, with a picture hat and a Boston accent, it was to preside
+at the telegraph instrument in the little room adjoining the post office
+at her father's store. When Issy bowed blushingly outside the window
+of the telegraph room, he received only the airiest of frigid nods. Was
+there what Lord Lyndhurst would have called "another"? It would seem
+not. Old Mr. Higgins, her father, encouraged no bows nor attentions from
+young men, and Gertie herself did not appear to desire them. So Issy
+gave up his tales of savage butchery for those of love and blisses,
+adored in silence, and hoped--always hoped.
+
+But why had the blacksmith seemed surprised at the departure of Sam
+Bartlett, the "dudey" vacationist from the city, whose father had, years
+ago, been Beriah Higgins's partner in the fish business? And why had he
+coupled the Bartlett name with that of Gertie, who had been visiting her
+father's maiden sister at Trumet, the village next below East Harniss,
+as Denboro is the next above it? Issy's suspicions were aroused, and he
+wondered.
+
+Suddenly he heard voices in the shop above him. The window was open and
+he heard them plainly.
+
+"Well! WELL!" It was the blacksmith who uttered the exclamation. "Why,
+Bartlett, how be you? What you doin' over here? Thought you'd gone back
+to Boston. I heard you had."
+
+Slowly, cautiously, the astonished quahauger rose from the sawhorse and
+peered over the window sill. There were two visitors in the shop. One
+was Ed Burns, proprietor of the Denboro Hotel and livery stable. The
+other was Sam Bartlett, the very same who had left East Harniss that
+morning, bound, ostensibly, for Boston. Issy sank back again and
+listened.
+
+"Yes, yes!" he heard Sam say impatiently; "I know, but--see here, Jake,
+where can I hire a horse in this God-forsaken town?"
+
+"Well, well, Sam!" continued Larkin. "I was just figurin' that Beriah
+had got the best of you after all, and you'd had to give it up for this
+time. Thinks I, it's too bad! Just because your dad and Beriah Higgins
+had such a deuce of a row when they bust up in the fish trade, it's a
+shame that he won't hark to your keepin' comp'ny with Gertie. And you
+doin' so well; makin' twenty dollars a week up to the city--Ed told me
+that--and--"
+
+"Yes, yes! But never mind that. Where can I get a horse? I've got to be
+in Trumet by eight to-night sure."
+
+"Trumet? Why, that's where Gertie is, ain't it?"
+
+"Look a-here, Jake," broke in the livery-stable keeper. "I'll tell you
+how 'tis. Oh, it's all right, Sam! Jake knows the most of it; I told
+him. He can keep his mouth shut, and he don't like old crank Higgins any
+better'n you and me do. Jake, Sam here and Gertie had fixed it up to run
+off and git married to-night. He was to pretend to start for Boston this
+mornin'. Bought a ticket and all, so's to throw Beriah off the scent.
+He was to get off the train here at Denboro and I was to let him have a
+horse 'n' buggy. Then, this afternoon, he was goin' to drive through the
+wood roads around to Trumet and be at the Baptist Church there at eight
+to-night sharp. Gertie's Aunt Hannah, she's had her orders, and bein' as
+big a crank as her brother, she don't let the girl out of her sight. But
+there's a fair at the church and Auntie's tendin' a table. Gertie, she
+steps out to the cloak room to git a handkerchief which she's forgot;
+see? And she hops into Sam's buggy and away they go to the minister's.
+After they're once hitched Old Dyspepsy can go to pot and see the kittle
+bile."
+
+"Bully! By gum, that's fine! Won't Beriah rip some, hey?"
+
+"Yes, but there's the dickens to pay. I've only got two horses in the
+stable to-day. The rest are let. And the two I've got--one's old Bill,
+and he couldn't go twenty mile to save his hide. And t'other's the gray
+mare, and blamed if she didn't git cast last night and use up her off
+hind leg so's she can't step. And Sam's GOT to have a horse. Where can I
+git one?"
+
+"Hum! Have you tried Haynes's?"
+
+"Yes, yes! And Lathrop's and Eldredge's. Can't git a team for love nor
+money."
+
+"Sho! And he can't go by train?"
+
+"What? With Beriah postmaster at East Harniss and always nosin' through
+every train that stops there? You can't fetch Trumet by train without
+stoppin' at East Harniss and--What was that?"
+
+"I don't know. What was it?"
+
+"Sounded like somethin' outside that back winder."
+
+The two ran to the window and looked out. All they saw was an overturned
+sawhorse and two or three hens scratching vigorously.
+
+"Guess 'twas the chickens, most likely," observed the blacksmith. Then,
+striking his blackened palms together, he exclaimed:
+
+"By time! I've thought of somethin'! Is McKay is in town to-day. Come
+over in the Lady May. She's a gasoline boat. Is would take Sam to Trumet
+for two or three dollars, I'll bet. And he's such a fool head that he
+wouldn't ask questions nor suspicion nothin'. 'Twould be faster'n a
+horse and enough sight less risky."
+
+And just then the "fool head," his brain whirling under its carroty
+thatch, was hurrying blindly up the main street, bound somewhere, he
+wasn't certain where.
+
+A mushy apple exploded between his shoulders, but he did not even turn
+around. So THIS was what the blacksmith meant! This was why Mr. Higgins
+watched his daughter so closely. This was why Gertie had been sent off
+to Trumet. She had met the Bartlett miscreant in Boston; they had been
+together there; had fallen in love and--He gritted his teeth and shook
+his fists almost in the face of old Deacon Pratt, who, knowing the
+McKay penchant for slaughter, had serious thoughts of sending for the
+constable.
+
+Beriah Higgins must be warned, of course, but how? To telegraph was
+to put Pat Starkey in possession of the secret, and Pat was too good a
+friend of Gertie's to be trusted. There was no telephone at the store.
+Issy entered the combination grocery store and post office.
+
+"Has the down mail closed yet?" he panted.
+
+The postmaster looked out of his little window.
+
+"Yes," he replied. "Why? Got a letter you want to go? Take it up to the
+depot. The train's due, but 'tain't here yit. If you run you can make
+it."
+
+Issy took a card from his pocket. It was the business card of the firm
+to whom he sold his quahaugs. On the back of the card he wrote in pencil
+as follows:
+
+"Mr. Beriah Higgins, your daughter Gertrude is going to meet Sam'l
+Bartlett at the Baptist Church in Trumet at 8 P.M. to-night and get
+married to him. LOOK OUT!!!"
+
+After an instant's consideration he signed it "A True Friend," this
+being in emulation of certain heroes of the Deadwood Dick variety. Then
+he put the card into an envelope and ran at top speed to the railway
+station. The train came in as he reached the platform. The baggage
+master was standing in the door of his car.
+
+"Here, mister!" panted Issy. "Jest hand this letter to Beriah Higgins
+when he takes the mail bag at East Harniss, won't you? It's mighty
+important. Don't forgit. Thanks."
+
+The train moved off. Issy stared after it, grinning malevolently.
+Higgins would get that note in ample time to send word to the watchful
+Aunt Hannah. When the unsuspecting eloper reached the Trumet church, it
+would be the aunt, not the niece, who awaited him. Still grinning, Mr.
+McKay walked off the platform, and into the arms of Ed Burns, the stable
+keeper, and Sam Bartlett, his loathed and favored rival.
+
+"Here he is!" shouted Burns. "Now we've got him."
+
+The foiler of the plot turned pale. Was his secret discovered? But no;
+his captors began talking eagerly, and gradually the sense of their
+pleadings became plain. They wanted him--HIM, of all people--to convey
+Bartlett to Trumet in the Lady May.
+
+"You see, it's a business meetin'," urged Burns. "Sam's got to be there
+by ha'f past seven or he'll--he won't win on the deal, will you, Sam?
+Say yes, Issy; that's a good feller. He'll give you--I don't know's he
+won't give you five dollars."
+
+"Ten," cried Bartlett. "And I'll never forget it, either. Will you, Is?"
+
+A mighty "No!" was trembling on Issy's tongue. But before it was uttered
+Burns spoke again.
+
+"McKay's got the best boat in these parts," he urged. "She's got a
+tiptop engine in her, and--"
+
+The word "engine" dropped into the whirlpool of Issy's thoughts with a
+familiar sound. In the chapter of "Vivian" that he had just finished,
+the beautiful shopgirl was imprisoned on board the yacht of the
+millionaire kidnaper, while the hero, in his own yacht, was miles
+astern. But the hero's faithful friend, disguised as a stoker, was
+tampering with the villain's engine. A vague idea began to form in
+Issy's brain. Once get the would-be eloper aboard the Lady May, and,
+even though the warning note should remain undelivered, he--
+
+Issy smiled, and the ghastliness of that smile was unnoticed by his
+companions.
+
+"I--I'll do it," he cried. "By mighty! I WILL do it. You be at the wharf
+here at four o'clock. I wouldn't do it for everybody, Sam Bartlett, but
+for you I'd do consider'ble, just now. And I don't want your ten dollars
+nuther."
+
+
+Doctoring an engine may be easy enough--in stories. But to doctor a
+gasoline engine so that it will run for a certain length of time and
+THEN break down is not so easy. Three o'clock came and the problem was
+still unsolved. Issy, the perspiration running down his face, stood
+up in the Lady May's cockpit and looked out across the bay, smooth and
+glassy in the afternoon sun.
+
+The sky overhead was clear and blue, but along the eastern and southern
+horizon was a gray bank of cloud, heaped in tumbled masses.
+
+A sunburned lobsterman in rubber boots and a sou'wester was smoking on
+the wharf.
+
+"What time you goin' to start for home, Is?" he asked.
+
+"Oh, in an hour or so," was the absent-minded reply.
+
+"Humph! You'd better cast off afore that or you'll be fog bound. It'll
+be thicker'n dock mud toward sundown, and you'll fetch up in Waptomac
+'stead of East Harniss, 'thout you've got a good compass."
+
+"Oh, my compass is all right," began Issy, and stopped short.
+The lobsterman made other attempts at conversation, but they were
+unproductive. McKay was gazing at the growing fog bank and thinking
+hard. To doctor an engine may be difficult, but to get lost in a fog--He
+took the compass from the glass-lidded binnacle by the wheel, and
+carrying it into the little cabin, placed it in the cuddy forward.
+
+It was nearer five than four when the Lady May, her engine barking
+aggressively, moved out of Denboro Harbor. Mr. Bartlett, the passenger,
+had been on time and had fumed and fretted at the delay. But Issy was
+deliberation itself. He had forgotten his quahaug rake, and the lapse
+of memory entailed a trip to the blacksmith's. Then the gasoline tank
+needed filling and the battery had to be overhauled.
+
+"Are you sure you can make it?" queried Sam anxiously. "It's important,
+I tell you. Mighty important."
+
+The skipper snorted in disgust. "Make it?" he repeated. "If the Lady May
+can't make fourteen mile in two hours--let alone two'n a ha'f--then I
+don't know her. She's one of them boats you read about, she is."
+
+The Cape makes a wide bend between Denboro and Trumet. The distance
+between these towns is twenty long, curved miles over the road; by water
+it is reduced to a straight fourteen. And midway between the two, at the
+center of the curve, is East Harniss.
+
+The Lady May coughed briskly on. There was no sea, and she sent long,
+widening ripples from each side of her bow. Bartlett, leaning over the
+rail, gazed impatiently ahead. Issy, sprawled on the bench by the wheel,
+was muttering to himself. Occasionally he glanced toward the east. The
+gray fog bank was now half way to the zenith and approaching rapidly.
+The eastern shore had disappeared.
+
+"Is! Hi, Is! What are you doing? Don't kill him before my eyes."
+
+Issy came out of his trance with a start.
+
+"What--what's that?" he asked. His passenger was grinning broadly.
+
+"What? Kill who?"
+
+"Why, the big chief, or whoever you had under your knee just then.
+You've been rolling your eyes and punching air with your fist for the
+last five minutes. I was getting scared. You're an unmerciful sinner
+when you get started, ain't you, Is? Who was the victim that time? 'Man
+Afraid of Hot Water'? or who?"
+
+The skipper scowled. He shoved the fist into his pocket.
+
+"Naw," he growled. "'Twa'n't."
+
+"So? Not an Indian? Then it must have been a white man. Some fellow
+after your girl, perhaps. Hey?"
+
+The disconcerted Issy was speechless. His companion's chance shot had
+scored a bull's-eye. Sam whooped.
+
+"That's it!" he crowed. "Sure thing! Give it to him, Is! Don't spare
+him."
+
+Mr. McKay chokingly admitted that he "wa'n't goin' to."
+
+"Ho, ho! That's the stuff! But who's SHE, Is? When are you going to
+marry her?"
+
+Issy grunted spitefully. "You ain't married yourself--not yit," he
+observed, with concealed sarcasm.
+
+The unsuspecting Bartlett laughed in triumph. "No," he said. "I'm not,
+that's a fact; but maybe I'm going to be some of these days. It looked
+pretty dubious for a while, but now it's all right."
+
+"'Tis, hey? You're sure about that, be you?"
+
+"Guess I am. Great Scott! what's that? Fog?"
+
+A damp breath blew across the boat. The clouds covered the sky overhead
+and the bay to port. The fog was pouring like smoke across the water.
+
+"Fog, by thunder!" exclaimed Bartlett.
+
+Issy smiled. "Hum! Yes, 'tis fog, ain't it?" he observed.
+
+"But what'll we do? It'll be here in a minute, won't it?"
+
+"Shouldn't be a mite surprised. Looks 's if twas here now."
+
+The fog came on. It reached the Lady May, passed over her, and shut her
+within gray, wet walls. It was impossible to see a length from her side.
+Sam swore emphatically. The skipper was provokingly calm. He stepped to
+the engine, bent over it, and then returned to the wheel.
+
+"What are you doing?" demanded Bartlett.
+
+"Slowin' down, of course. Can't run more'n ha'f speed in a fog like
+this. 'Tain't safe."
+
+"Safe! What do I care? I want to get to Trumet."
+
+"Yes? Well, maybe we'll git there if we have luck."
+
+"You idiot! We've GOT to get there. How can you tell which way to steer?
+Get your compass, man! get your compass!"
+
+"Ain't got no compass," was the sulky answer. "Left it to home."
+
+"Why, no, you didn't. I--"
+
+"I tell you I did. 'Twas careless of me, I know, but--"
+
+"But I say you didn't. When you went uptown after that quahaug rake I
+explored this craft of yours some. The compass is in that little closet
+at the end of the cabin. I'll get it."
+
+He rose to his feet. Issy sprang forward and seized him by the arm.
+
+"Set down!" he yelled. "Who's runnin' this boat, you or me?"
+
+The astounded passenger stared at his companion.
+
+"Why, you are," he replied. "But that's no reason--What's the matter
+with you, anyway? Have your dime novels driven you loony?"
+
+Issy hesitated. For a moment chagrin and rage at this sudden upset of
+his schemes had gotten the better of his prudence. But Bartlett was
+taller than he and broad in proportion. And valor--except of the
+imaginative brand--was not Issy's strong point.
+
+"There, there, Sam!" he explained, smiling crookedly. "You mustn't mind
+me. I'm sort of nervous, I guess. And you mustn't hop up and down in a
+boat that way. You set still and I'll fetch the compass."
+
+He stumbled across the cockpit and disappeared in the dusk of the cabin.
+Finding that compass took a long time. Sam lost patience.
+
+"What's the matter?" he demanded. "Can't you find it? Shall I come?"
+
+"No, no!" screamed Issy vehemently. "Stay where you be. Catch a-holt of
+that wheel. We'll be spinnin' circles if you don't. I'm a-comin'."
+
+But it was another five minutes before he emerged from the cabin,
+carrying the compass box very carefully with both hands. He placed it in
+the binnacle and closed the glass lid.
+
+"'Twas catched in a bluefish line," he explained. "All snarled up,
+'twas."
+
+Sam peered through the glass at the compass.
+
+"Thunder!" he exclaimed. "I should say we had spun around. Instead of
+north being off here where I thought it was, it's 'way out to the right.
+Queer how fog'll mix a fellow up. Trumet's about northeast, isn't it?"
+
+"No'theast by no'th's the course. Keep her just there."
+
+The Lady May, still at half speed, kept on through the mist. Time
+passed. The twilight, made darker still by the fog, deepened. They lit
+the lantern in order to see the compass card. Issy had the wheel now.
+Sam was forward, keeping a lookout and fretting at the delay.
+
+"It's seven o'clock already," he cried. "For Heaven's sake, how late
+will you be? I've got to be there by quarter of eight. D'you hear? I've
+GOT to."
+
+"Well, we're gittin' there. Can't expect to travel so fast with part of
+the power off. You'll be where you're goin' full as soon as you want to
+be, I cal'late."
+
+And he chuckled.
+
+Another half hour and, through the wet dimness, a light flashed,
+vanished, and flashed again. Issy saw it and smiled grimly. Bartlett saw
+it and shouted.
+
+"'What's that light?" he cried. "Did you see it? There it is, off
+there."
+
+"I see it. There's a light at Trumet Neck, ain't there?"
+
+"Humph! It's been years since I was there, but I thought Trumet light
+was steady. However--"
+
+"Ain't that the wharf ahead?"
+
+Sure enough, out of the dark loomed the bulk of a small wharf, with
+catboats at anchor near it. Higher up, somewhere on the shore, were the
+lighted windows of a building.
+
+"By thunder, we're here!" exclaimed Sam, and drew a long breath.
+
+Issy shut off the power altogether, and the Lady May slid easily up to
+the wharf. Feverishly her skipper made her fast.
+
+"Yes, sir!" he cried exultantly. "We're here. And no Black Rover nor
+anybody else ever done a better piece of steerin' than that, nuther."
+
+He clambered over the stringpiece, right at the heels of his impatient
+but grateful passenger. Sam's thanks were profuse and sincere.
+
+"I'll never forget it, Is," he declared. "I'll never forget it. And
+you'll have to let me pay you the--What makes you shake so?"
+
+Issy pulled his arm away and stepped back.
+
+"I'll never forget it, Is," continued Sam. "I--Why! What--?"
+
+He was standing at the shore end of the wharf, gazing up at the lighted
+windows. They were those of a dwelling house--an old-fashioned house
+with a back yard sloping down to the landing.
+
+And then Issy McKay leaned forward and spoke in his ear.
+
+"You bet you won't forgit it, Sam Bartlett!" he crowed, in trembling but
+delicious triumph. "You bet you won't! I've fixed you just the same as
+the Black Rover fixed the mutineers. Run off with my girl, will ye? And
+marry her, will ye? I--"
+
+Sam interrupted him. "Why! WHY!" he cried. "That's--that's Gertie's
+house! This isn't Trumet! IT'S EAST HARNISS!"
+
+The next moment he was seized from behind. The skipper's arms were
+around his waist and the skipper's thin legs twisted about his own. They
+fell together upon the sand and, as they rolled and struggled, Issy's
+yells rose loud and high.
+
+"Mr. Higgins!" he shrieked. "Mr. Higgins! Come on! I've got him! I've
+got the feller that's tryin' to steal your daughter! Come on! I've got
+him! I'm hangin' to him!"
+
+A door banged open. Some one rushed down the walk. And then a girl's
+voice cried in alarm:
+
+"What is it? Who is it? What IS the matter?"
+
+And from the bundle of legs and arms on the ground two voices exclaimed:
+"GERTIE!"
+
+"But where IS your father?" asked Sam. Issy asked nothing. He merely sat
+still and listened.
+
+"Why, he's at Trumet. At least I suppose he is. Mrs. Jones--she's gone
+to telephone to him now--says that he came home this morning with one
+of those dreadful 'attacks' of his. And after dinner he seemed so sick
+that, when she went for the doctor, she wired me at Auntie's to come
+home. I didn't want to come--you know why--but I COULDN'T let him die
+alone. And so I caught the three o'clock train and came. I knew you'd
+forgive me. But it seems that when Mrs. Jones came back with the doctor
+they found father up and dressed and storming like a crazy man. He had
+received some sort of a letter; he wouldn't say what. And, in spite of
+all they could do, he insisted on going out. And Cap'n Berry--the depot
+master--says he went to Trumet on the afternoon freight. We must have
+passed each other on the way. And I'm so--But why are you HERE? And what
+were you and Issy doing? And--"
+
+Her lover broke in eagerly. "Then you're alone now?" he asked.
+
+"Yes, but--"
+
+"Good! Your father can't get a train back from Trumet before to-morrow
+morning. I don't know what this letter was--but never mind. Perhaps
+friend McKay knows more about it. It may be that Mr. Higgins is waiting
+now outside the Baptist church. Gertie, now's our chance. You come with
+me right up to the minister's. He's a friend of mine. He understands.
+He'll marry us, I know. Come! We mustn't lose a minute. Your dad may
+take a notion to drive back."
+
+He led her off up the lane, she protesting, he urging. At the corner of
+the house he turned.
+
+"I say, Is!" he called. "Don't you want to come to the wedding? Seems
+to me we owe you that, considering all you've done to help it along. Or
+perhaps you want to stay and fix that compass of yours."
+
+Issy didn't answer. Some time after they had gone he arose from the
+ground and stumbled home. That night he put a paper novel into the
+stove. Next morning, before going to the depot, he removed an iron spike
+from the Lady May's compass box. The needle swung back to its proper
+position.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XVIII
+
+THE MOUNTAIN AND MAHOMET
+
+
+The eleventh of July. The little Berry house stood high on its joists
+and rollers, in the middle of the Hill Boulevard, directly opposite
+the Edwards lot. Close behind it loomed the big "Colonial." Another
+twenty-four hours, and, even at its one-horse gait, the depot master's
+dwelling would be beyond the strip of Edwards fence. The "Colonial"
+would be ready to move on the lot, and Olive Edwards, the widow, would
+be obliged to leave her home. In fact, Mr. Williams had notified
+her that she and her few belongings must be off the premises by the
+afternoon of the twelfth.
+
+The great Williams was in high good-humor. He chuckled as he talked with
+his foreman, and the foreman chuckled in return. Simeon Phinney did
+not chuckle. He was anxious and worried, and even the news of Gertie
+Higgins's runaway marriage, brought to him by Obed Gott, who--having
+been so recently the victim of another unexpected matrimonial
+alliance--was wickedly happy over the postmaster's discomfiture, did not
+interest him greatly.
+
+"Well, I wonder who'll be the next couple," speculated Obed. "First
+Polena and old Hardee, then Gertie Higgins and Sam Bartlett! I declare,
+Sim, gettin' married unbeknownst to anybody must be catchin', like the
+measles. Nobody's safe unless they've got a wife or husband livin'. Me
+and Sol Berry are old baches--we'd better get vaccinated or WE may come
+down with the disease. Ho! ho!"
+
+After dinner Mr. Phinney went from his home to the depot. Captain Sol
+was sitting in the ticket office, with the door shut. On the platform,
+forlornly sprawled upon the baggage truck, was Issy McKay, the picture
+of desolation. He started nervously when he heard Simeon's step. As
+yet Issy's part in the Bartlett-Higgins episode was unknown to the
+townspeople. Sam and Gertie had considerately kept silence. Beriah had
+not learned who sent him the warning note, the unlucky missive which had
+brought his troubles to a climax. But he was bound to learn it, he would
+find out soon, and then--No wonder Issy groaned.
+
+"Come in here, Sim," said the depot master. Phinney entered the ticket
+office.
+
+"Shut the door," commanded the Captain. The order was obeyed. "Well,
+what is it?" asked Berry.
+
+"Why, I just run in to see you a minute, Sol, that's all. What are you
+shut up in here all alone for?"
+
+"'Cause I want to be alone. There's been more than a thousand folks in
+this depot so far to-day, seems so, and they all wanted to talk. I don't
+feel like talkin'."
+
+"Heard about Gertie Higgins and--"
+
+"Yes."
+
+"Who told you?"
+
+"Hiram Baker told me first. He's a fine feller and he's so tickled, now
+that his youngster's 'most well, that he cruises around spoutin' talk
+and joy same as a steamer's stack spouts cinders. He told me. Then Obed
+Gott and Cornelius Rowe and Redny Blount and Pat Starkey, and land knows
+how many more, came to tell me. I cut 'em short. Why, even the Major
+himself condescended to march in, grand and imposin' as a procession, to
+make proclamations about love laughin' at locksmiths, and so on. Since
+he got Polena and her bank account he's a bigger man than the President,
+in his own estimate."
+
+"Humph! Well, he better make the best of it while it lasts. P'lena ain't
+Hetty Green, and her money won't hold out forever."
+
+"That's a fact. Still Polena's got sense. She'll hold Hardee in check,
+I cal'late. I wouldn't wonder if it ended by her bossin' things and the
+Major actin' as a sort of pet poodle dog--nice and pretty to walk out
+with, but always kept at the end of a string."
+
+"You didn't go to Higgins's for dinner to-day, did you?"
+
+"No. Nor I shan't go for supper. Beriah's bad enough when he's got
+nothin' the matter with him but dyspepsy. Now that his sufferin's are
+complicated with elopements, I don't want to eat with him."
+
+"Come and have supper with us."
+
+"I guess not, thank you, Sim. I'll get some crackers and cheese and such
+at the store. I--I ain't very hungry these days."
+
+He turned his head and looked out of the window. Simeon fidgeted.
+
+"Sol," he said, after a pause, "we'll be past Olive's by to-morrer
+night."
+
+No answer. Sim repeated his remark.
+
+"I know it," was the short reply.
+
+"Yes--yes, I s'posed you did, but--"
+
+"Sim, don't bother me now. This is my last day here at the depot, and
+I've got things to do."
+
+"Your last day? Why, what--?"
+
+Captain Sol told briefly of his resignation and of the coming of the new
+depot master.
+
+"But you givin' up your job!" gasped Phinney. "YOU! Why, what for?"
+
+"For instance, I guess. I ain't dependent on the wages, and I'm sick of
+the whole thing."
+
+"But what'll you do?"
+
+"Don't know."
+
+"You--you won't leave town, will you? Lawsy mercy, I hope not!"
+
+"Don't know. Maybe I'll know better by and by. I've got to think things
+out. Run along now, like a good feller. Don't say nothin' about my
+quittin'. All hands'll know it to-morrow, and that's soon enough."
+
+Simeon departed, his brain in a whirl. Captain Solomon Berry no longer
+depot master! The world must be coming to an end.
+
+He remained at his work until supper time. During the meal he ate and
+said so little that his wife wondered and asked questions. To avoid
+answering them he hurried out. When he returned, about ten o'clock, he
+was a changed man. His eyes shone and he fairly danced with excitement.
+
+"Emeline!" he shouted, as he burst into the sitting room. "What do you
+think? I've got the everlastin'est news to tell!"
+
+"Good or bad?" asked the practical Mrs. Phinney.
+
+"Good! So good that--There! let me tell you. When I left here I went
+down to the store and hung around till the mail was sorted. Pat Starkey
+was doin' the sortin', Beriah bein' too upsot by Gertie's gettin'
+married to attend to anything. Pat called me to the mail window and
+handed me a letter.
+
+"'It's for Olive Edwards,' he says. 'She's been expectin' one for a
+consider'ble spell, she told me, and maybe this is it. P'r'aps you'd
+just as soon go round by her shop and leave it.'
+
+"I took the letter and looked at it. Up in one corner was the printed
+name of an Omaha firm. I never said nothin', but I sartinly hustled on
+my way up the hill.
+
+"Olive was in her little settin' room back of the shop. She was pretty
+pale, and her eyes looked as if she hadn't been doin' much sleepin'
+lately. Likewise I noticed--and it give me a queer feelin' inside--that
+her trunk was standin', partly packed, in the corner."
+
+"The poor woman!" exclaimed Mrs. Phinney.
+
+"Yes," went on her husband. "Well, I handed over the letter and started
+to go, but she told me to set down and rest, 'cause I was so out of
+breath. To tell you the truth, I was crazy to find out what was in that
+envelope and, being as she'd give me the excuse, I set.
+
+"She took the letter over to the lamp and looked at it for much as
+a minute, as if she was afraid to open it. But at last, and with her
+fingers shakin' like the palsy, she fetched a long breath and tore off
+the end of the envelope. It was a pretty long letter, and she read it
+through. I see her face gettin' whiter and whiter and, when she reached
+the bottom of the last page, the letter fell onto the floor. Down went
+her head on her arms, and she cried as if her heart would break. I never
+felt so sorry for anybody in my life.
+
+"'Don't, Mrs. Edwards,' I says. 'Please don't. That cousin of yours is
+a darn ungrateful scamp, and I'd like to have my claws on his neck this
+minute.'
+
+"She never even asked me how I knew about the cousin. She was too much
+upset for that.
+
+"'Oh! oh!' she sobs. 'What SHALL I do? Where shall I go? I haven't got a
+friend in the world!'
+
+"I couldn't stand that. I went acrost and laid my hand on her shoulder.
+
+"'Mrs. Edwards,' says I, 'you mustn't say that. You've got lots of
+friends. I'm your friend. Mr. Hilton's your friend. Yes, and there's
+another, the best friend of all. If it weren't for him, you'd have been
+turned out into the street long before this.'"
+
+Mrs. Phinney nodded. "I'm glad you told her!" she exclaimed. "She'd
+ought to know."
+
+"That's what I thought," said Simeon.
+
+"Well, she raised her head then and looked at me.
+
+"'You mean Mr. Williams?' she asks.
+
+"That riled me up. 'Williams nothin'!' says I. 'Williams let you stay
+here 'cause he could just as well as not. If he'd known that this other
+friend was keepin' him from gettin' here, just on your account, he'd
+have chucked you to glory, promise or no promise. But this friend, this
+real friend, he don't count cost, nor trouble, nor inconvenience. Hikes
+his house--the house he lives in--right out into the road, moves it to a
+place where he don't want to go, and--'
+
+"'Mr. Phinney,' she sighs out, 'what do you mean?'
+
+"And then I told her. She listened without sayin' a word, but her eyes
+kept gettin' brighter and brighter and she breathed short.
+
+"'Oh!' she says, when I'd finished. 'Did he--did he--do that for ME?'
+
+"'You bet!' says I. 'He didn't tell me what he was doin' it for--that
+ain't Sol's style; but I'm arithmetiker enough to put two and two
+together and make four. He did it for you, you can bet your last red on
+that.'
+
+"She stood up. 'Oh!' she breathes. 'I--I must go and thank him. I--'
+
+"But, knowin' Sol, I was afraid. Fust place, there was no tellin' how
+he'd act, and, besides, he might not take it kindly that I'd told her.
+
+"'Wait a jiffy,' I says. 'I'll go out and see if he's home. You stay
+here. I'll be back right off.'
+
+"Out I put, and over to the Berry house, standin' on its rollers in the
+middle of the Boulevard. And, just as I got to it, somebody says:
+
+"'Ahoy, Sim! What's the hurry? Anybody on fire?'
+
+"'Twas the Cap'n himself, settin' on a pile of movin' joist and smokin'
+as usual. I didn't waste no time.
+
+"'Sol,' says I, 'I've just come from Olive's. She's got that letter from
+the Omaha man. Poor thing! all alone there--'
+
+"He interrupted me sharp. 'Well?' he snaps. 'What's it say? Will the
+cousin help her?'
+
+"'No,' I says, 'drat him, he won't!'
+
+"The answer I got surprised me more'n anything I ever heard or ever will
+hear.
+
+"'Thank God!' says Sol Berry. 'That settles it.'
+
+"And I swan to man if he didn't climb down off them timbers and march
+straight across the street, over to the door of Olive Edwards's home,
+open it, and go in! I leaned against the joist he'd left, and swabbed my
+forehead with my sleeve."
+
+"He went to HER!" gasped Mrs. Phinney.
+
+"Wait," continued her husband. "I must have stood there twenty minutes
+when I heard somebody hurryin' down the Boulevard. 'Twas Cornelius Rowe,
+all red-faced and het up, but bu'stin' with news.
+
+"''Lo, Sim!' says he to me. 'Is Cap'n Sol home? Does he know?'
+
+"'Know? Know what?" says I.
+
+"'Why, the trick Mr. Williams put up on him? Hey? You ain't heard? Well,
+Mr. Williams's fixed him nice, HE has! Seems Abner Payne hadn't answered
+Sol's letter tellin' him he'd accept the offer to swap lots, and
+Williams went up to Wareham where Payne's been stayin' and offered him a
+thumpin' price for the land on Main Street, and took it. The deed's all
+made out. Cap'n Sol can't move where he was goin' to, and he's left with
+his house on the town, as you might say. Ain't it a joke, though? Where
+is Sol? I want to be the fust to tell him and see how he acts. Is he to
+home?'
+
+"I was shook pretty nigh to pieces, but I had some sense left.
+
+"'No, he ain't,' says I. 'I see him go up street a spell ago.'"
+
+"Why, Simeon!" interrupted Mrs. Phinney once more. "Was that true? How
+COULD you see him when--"
+
+"Be still! S'pose I was goin' to tell him where Sol HAD gone? I'd have
+lied myself blue fust. However, Cornelius was satisfied.
+
+"'That so?' he grunts. 'By jings! I'm goin' to find him.'
+
+"Off he went, and the next thing I knew the Edwards door opened, and
+I heard somebody callin' my name. I went acrost, walkin' in a kind of
+daze, and there, in the doorway, with the lamp shinin' on 'em, was Cap'n
+Sol and Olive. The tears was wet on her cheeks, but she was smilin' in
+a kind of shy, half-believin' sort of way, and as for Sol, he was one
+broad, satisfied grin.
+
+"'Cap'n,' I begun, 'I just heard the everlastin'est news that--'
+
+"'Shut up, Sim!' he orders, cheerful. 'You've been a mighty good friend
+to both of us, and I want you to be the fust to shake hands.'
+
+"'Shake hands?' I stammers, lookin' at 'em. 'WHAT? You don't mean--'
+
+"'I mean shake hands. Don't you want to?'
+
+"Want to! I give 'em both one more look, and then we shook, up to the
+elbows; and my grin had the Cap'n's beat holler.
+
+"'Sim,' he says, after I'd cackled a few minutes, 'I cal'late maybe that
+white horse is well by this time. P'r'aps we might move a little faster.
+I'm kind of anxious to get to Main Street.'
+
+"Then I remembered. 'Great gosh all fish-hooks!' I sings out. 'Main
+Street? Why, there AIN'T no Main Street!'
+
+"And I gives 'em Cornelius's news. The widow's smile faded out.
+
+"'Oh!' says she. 'O Solomon! And I got you into all this trouble!'
+
+"Cap'n Sol didn't stop grinnin', but he scratched his head. 'Huh!' says
+he. 'Mark one up for King Williams the Great. Humph!'
+
+"He thought for a minute and then he laughed out loud. 'Olive,' he says,
+'if I remember right, you and I always figgered to live on the Shore
+Road. It's the best site in town. Sim, I guess if that white horse IS
+well, you can move that shanty of mine right to Cross Street, down that,
+and back along the Shore Road to the place where it come from. THAT
+land's mine yet,' says he.
+
+"If that wa'n't him all over! I couldn't think what to say, except that
+folks would laugh some, I cal'lated.
+
+"'Not at us, they won't,' says he. 'We'll clear out till the laughin' is
+over. Olive, to-morrer mornin' we'll call on Parson Hilton and then take
+the ten o'clock train. I feel's if a trip to Washin'ton would be about
+right just now.'
+
+"She started and blushed and then looked up into his face. 'Solomon,'
+she says, low, 'I really would like to go to Niagara.'
+
+"He shook his head. 'Old lady,' says he, 'I guess you don't quite
+understand this thing. See here'--p'intin' to his house loomin' big and
+black in the roadway--'see! the mountain has come to Mahomet.'"
+
+Mrs. Phinney had heard enough. She sprang from her chair and seized her
+husband's hands.
+
+"Splendid!" she cried, her face beaming. "Oh, AIN'T it lovely! Ain't you
+glad for 'em, Simeon?"
+
+"Glad! Say, Emeline; there's some of that wild-cherry bounce down
+cellar, ain't there? Let's break our teetotalism for once and drink a
+glass to Cap'n and Mrs. Solomon Berry. Jerushy! I got to do SOMETHIN' to
+celebrate."
+
+
+On the Hill Boulevard the summer wind stirred the silverleaf poplars.
+The thick, black shadows along the sidewalks were heavy with the perfume
+of flowers. Captain Sol, ex-depot master of East Harniss, strolled on
+in the dark, under the stars, his hands in his pockets, and in his heart
+happiness complete and absolute.
+
+Behind him twinkled the lamp in the window of the Edwards house, so soon
+to be torn down. Before him, over the barberry hedge, blazed the windows
+of the mansion the owner of which was responsible for it all. The
+windows were open, and through them sounded the voices of the mighty
+Ogden Hapworth Williams and his wife, engaged in a lively altercation.
+It was an open secret that their married life was anything but peaceful.
+
+"What are you grumbling about now?" demanded 'Williams. "Don't I give
+you more money than--"
+
+"Nonsense!" sneered Mrs. Williams, in scornful derision. "Nonsense,
+I say! Money is all there is to you, Ogden. In other things, the real
+things of this world, those you can't buy with money, you're a perfect
+imbecile. You know nothing whatever about them."
+
+Captain Sol, alone on the walk by the hedge, glanced in the direction
+of the shrill voice, then back at the lamp in Olive's window. And he
+laughed aloud.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Depot Master, by Joseph C. Lincoln
+
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #2307 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/2307)
diff --git a/old/2307-h.htm.2021-01-27 b/old/2307-h.htm.2021-01-27
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+  <head>
+    <title>
+      The Depot Master, by Joseph C. Lincoln
+    </title>
+    <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve">
+
+    body { margin:5%; background:#faebd0; text-align:justify}
+    P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; }
+    H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; }
+    hr  { width: 50%; text-align: center;}
+    .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; }
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+    .mynote    {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;}
+    .toc       { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;}
+    .toc2      { margin-left: 20%;}
+    div.fig    { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; }
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+    .pagenum   {display:inline; font-size: 70%; font-style:normal;
+               margin: 0; padding: 0; position: absolute; right: 1%;
+               text-align: right;}
+    pre        { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;}
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+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+4The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Depot Master, by Joseph C. Lincoln
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Depot Master
+
+Author: Joseph C. Lincoln
+
+Release Date: May 16, 2006 [EBook #2307]
+Last Updated: March 5, 2019
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: UTF-8
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE DEPOT MASTER ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Donald Lainson; David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br />
+    </p>
+    <h1>
+      THE DEPOT MASTER
+    </h1>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <h2>
+      By Joseph C. Lincoln
+    </h2>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br />
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br />
+    </p>
+    <blockquote>
+      <p class="toc">
+        <big><b>CONTENTS</b></big>
+      </p>
+      <p>
+        <br /> <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> <big><b>THE DEPOT MASTER</b></big> </a> -- <br /><br /><br />
+        <a href="#link2HCH0001"> CHAPTER I </a> -- AT THE DEPOT<br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0002">
+        CHAPTER II </a> -- SUPPLY AND DEMAND<br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0003"> CHAPTER III </a> -- “STINGY GABE”<br /><br />
+        <a href="#link2HCH0004"> CHAPTER IV </a> -- THE MAJOR<br /><br /> <a
+        href="#link2HCH0005"> CHAPTER V </a> -- A BABY AND A ROBBERY<br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0006">
+        CHAPTER VI </a> -- AVIATION AND AVARICE<br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0007"> CHAPTER VII </a> -- CAPTAIN SOL DECIDES TO MOVE<br /><br />
+        <a href="#link2HCH0008"> CHAPTER VIII </a> -- THE OBLIGATIONS OF A GENTLEMAN<br /><br /> <a
+        href="#link2HCH0009"> CHAPTER IX </a> -- THE WIDOW BASSETT<br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0010">
+        CHAPTER X </a> -- CAPTAIN JONADAB GOES<br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0011"> CHAPTER XI </a> -- IN THE GREAT METROPOLIS<br /><br />
+        <a href="#link2HCH0012"> CHAPTER XII </a> -- A VISION SENT<br /><br /> <a
+        href="#link2HCH0013"> CHAPTER XIII </a> -- DUSENBERRY'S BIRTHDAY<br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0014">
+        CHAPTER XIV </a> -- EFFIE'S FATE<br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0015"> CHAPTER XV </a> -- THE “HERO” AND THE COWBOY<br /><br />
+        <a href="#link2HCH0016"> CHAPTER XVI </a> -- THE CRUISE OF THE RED CAR<br /><br /> <a
+        href="#link2HCH0017"> CHAPTER XVII </a> -- ISSY'S REVENGE<br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0018">
+        CHAPTER XVIII </a> -- THE MOUNTAIN AND MAHOMET&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
+      </p>
+    </blockquote>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br />
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br />
+    </p>
+    <h2>
+      THE DEPOT MASTER
+    </h2>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0001" id="link2HCH0001">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER I
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      AT THE DEPOT
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Simeon Phinney emerged from the side door of his residence and paused
+      a moment to light his pipe in the lee of the lilac bushes. Mr. Phinney was
+      a man of various and sundry occupations, and his sign, nailed to the big
+      silver-leaf in the front yard, enumerated a few of them. &ldquo;Carpenter, Well
+      Driver, Building Mover, Cranberry Bogs Seen to with Care and Dispatch,
+      etc., etc.,&rdquo; so read the sign. The house was situated in &ldquo;Phinney's Lane,&rdquo;
+       the crooked little byway off &ldquo;Cross Street,&rdquo; between the &ldquo;Shore Road&rdquo; at
+      the foot of the slope and the &ldquo;Hill Boulevard&rdquo;&mdash;formerly &ldquo;Higgins's
+      Roost&rdquo;&mdash;at the top. From the Phinney gate the view was extensive and,
+      for the most part, wet. The hill descended sharply, past the &ldquo;Shore Road,&rdquo;
+       over the barren fields and knolls covered with bayberry bushes and
+      &ldquo;poverty grass,&rdquo; to the yellow sand of the beach and the gray,
+      weather-beaten fish-houses scattered along it. Beyond was the bay, a
+      glimmer in the sunset light.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Mrs. Phinney, in the kitchen, was busy with the supper dishes. Her
+      husband, wheezing comfortably at his musical pipe, drew an ancient silver
+      watch from his pocket and looked at its dial. Quarter past six. Time to be
+      getting down to the depot and the post office. At least a dozen male
+      citizens of East Harniss were thinking that very thing at that very
+      moment. It was a community habit of long standing to see the train come in
+      and go after the mail. The facts that the train bore no passengers in whom
+      you were intimately interested, and that you expected no mail made little
+      difference. If you were a man of thirty or older, you went to the depot or
+      the &ldquo;club,&rdquo; just as your wife or sisters went to the sewing circle, for
+      sociability and mild excitement. If you were a single young man you went
+      to the post office for the same reason that you attended prayer meeting.
+      If you were a single young lady you went to the post office and prayer
+      meeting to furnish a reason for the young man.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Phinney, replacing his watch in his pocket, meandered to the sidewalk
+      and looked down the hill and along the length of the &ldquo;Shore Road.&rdquo; Beside
+      the latter highway stood a little house, painted a spotless white, its
+      window blinds a vivid green. In that house dwelt, and dwelt alone, Captain
+      Solomon Berry, Sim Phinney's particular friend. Captain Sol was the East
+      Harniss depot master and, from long acquaintance, Mr. Phinney knew that he
+      should be through supper and ready to return to the depot, by this time.
+      The pair usually walked thither together when the evening meal was over.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      But, except for the smoke curling lazily from the kitchen chimney, there
+      was no sign of life about the Berry house. Either Captain Sol had already
+      gone, or he was not yet ready to go. So Mr. Phinney decided that waiting
+      was chancey, and set out alone.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      He climbed Cross Street to where the &ldquo;Hill Boulevard,&rdquo; abiding place of
+      East Harniss's summer aristocracy, bisected it, and there, standing on the
+      corner, and consciously patronizing the spot where he so stood, was Mr.
+      Ogden Hapworth Williams, no less.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Williams was the village millionaire, patron, and, in a gentlemanly
+      way, &ldquo;boomer.&rdquo; His estate on the Boulevard was the finest in the county,
+      and he, more than any one else, was responsible for the &ldquo;buying up&rdquo; by
+      wealthy people from the city of the town's best building sites, the spots
+      commanding &ldquo;fine marine sea views,&rdquo; to quote from Abner Payne, local real
+      estate and insurance agent. His own estate was fine enough to be talked
+      about from one end of the Cape to the other and he had bought the empty
+      lot opposite and made it into a miniature park, with flower beds and
+      gravel walks, though no one but he or his might pick the flowers or tread
+      the walks. He had brought on a wealthy friend from New York and a cousin
+      from Chicago, and they, too, had bought acres on the Boulevard and erected
+      palatial &ldquo;cottages&rdquo; where once were the houses of country people. Local
+      cynics suggested that the sign on the East Harniss railroad station should
+      be changed to read &ldquo;Williamsburg.&rdquo; &ldquo;He owns the place, body and soul,&rdquo;
+       said they.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      As Sim Phinney climbed the hill the magnate, pompous, portly, and
+      imposing, held up a signaling finger. &ldquo;Just as if he was hailin' a horse
+      car,&rdquo; described Simeon afterward.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Phinney,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;come here, I want to speak to you.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The man of many trades obediently approached.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Good evenin', Mr. Williams,&rdquo; he ventured.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Phinney,&rdquo; went on the great man briskly, &ldquo;I want you to give me your
+      figures on a house moving deal. I have bought a house on the Shore Road,
+      the one that used to belong to the&mdash;er&mdash;Smalleys, I believe.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Simeon was surprised. &ldquo;What, the old Smalley house?&rdquo; he exclaimed. &ldquo;You
+      don't tell me!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, it's a fine specimen&mdash;so my wife says&mdash;of the pure
+      Colonial, whatever that is, and I intend moving it to the Boulevard. I
+      want your figures for the job.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The building mover looked puzzled. &ldquo;To the Boulevard?&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Why, I
+      didn't know there was a vacant lot on the Boulevard, Mr. Williams.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There isn't now, but there will be soon. I have got hold of the hundred
+      feet left from the old Seabury estate.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Phinney drew a long breath. &ldquo;Why!&rdquo; he stammered, &ldquo;that's where Olive
+      Edwards&mdash;her that was Olive Seabury&mdash;lives, ain't it?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; was the rather impatient answer. &ldquo;She has been living there. But
+      the place was mortgaged up to the handle and&mdash;ahem&mdash;the mortgage
+      is mine now.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      For an instant Simeon did not reply. He was gazing, not up the Boulevard
+      in the direction of the &ldquo;Seabury place&rdquo; but across the slope of the hill
+      toward the home of Captain Sol Berry, the depot master. There was a
+      troubled look on his face.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well?&rdquo; inquired Williams briskly, &ldquo;when can you give me the figures? They
+      must be low, mind. No country skin games, you understand.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hey?&rdquo; Phinney came out of his momentary trance. &ldquo;Yes, yes, Mr. Williams.
+      They'll be low enough. Times is kind of dull now and I'd like a movin' job
+      first-rate. I'll give 'em to you to-morrer. But&mdash;but Olive'll have to
+      move, won't she? And where's she goin'?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She'll have to move, sure. And the eyesore on that lot now will come
+      down.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The &ldquo;eyesore&rdquo; was the four room building, combined dwelling and shop of
+      Mrs. Olive Edwards, widow of &ldquo;Bill Edwards,&rdquo; once a promising young man,
+      later town drunkard and ne'er-do-well, dead these five years, luckily for
+      himself and luckier&mdash;in a way&mdash;for the wife who had stuck by him
+      while he wasted her inheritance in a losing battle with John Barleycorn.
+      At his death the fine old Seabury place had dwindled to a lone hundred
+      feet of land, the little house, and a mortgage on both. Olive had opened a
+      &ldquo;notion store&rdquo; in her front parlor and had fought on, proudly refusing aid
+      and trying to earn a living. She had failed. Again Phinney stared
+      thoughtfully at the distant house of Captain Sol.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But Olive,&rdquo; he said, slowly. &ldquo;She ain't got no folks, has she? What'll
+      become of her? Where'll she move to?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That,&rdquo; said Mr. Williams, with a wave of a fat hand, &ldquo;is not my business.
+      I am sorry for her, if she's hard up. But I can't be responsible if men
+      will drink up their wives' money. Look out for number one; that's
+      business. I sha'n't be unreasonable with her. She can stay where she is
+      until the new house I've bought is moved to that lot. Then she must clear
+      out. I've told her that. She knows all about it. Well, good-by, Phinney. I
+      shall expect your bid to-morrow. And, mind, don't try to get the best of
+      me, because you can't do it.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He turned and strutted back up the Boulevard. Sim Phinney, pondering
+      deeply and very grave, continued on his way, down Cross Street to Main&mdash;naming
+      the village roads was another of the Williams' &ldquo;improvements&rdquo;&mdash;and
+      along that to the crossing, East Harniss's business and social center at
+      train times.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The station&mdash;everyone called it &ldquo;deepo,&rdquo; of course&mdash;was then a
+      small red building, old and out of date, but scrupulously neat because of
+      Captain Berry's rigid surveillance. Close beside it was the &ldquo;Boston
+      Grocery, Dry Goods and General Store,&rdquo; Mr. Beriah Higgins, proprietor.
+      Beriah was postmaster and the post office was in his store. The male
+      citizen of middle age or over, seeking opportunity for companionship and
+      chat, usually went first to the depot, sat about in the waiting room until
+      the train came in, superintended that function, then sojourned to the post
+      office until the mail was sorted, returning later, if he happened to be a
+      particular friend of the depot master, to sit and smoke and yarn until
+      Captain Sol announced that it was time to &ldquo;turn in.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      When Mr. Phinney entered the little waiting room he found it already
+      tenanted. Captain Sol had not yet arrived, but official authority was
+      represented by &ldquo;Issy&rdquo; McKay&mdash;his full name was Issachar Ulysses Grant
+      McKay&mdash;a long-legged, freckled-faced, tow-headed youth of twenty,
+      who, as usual, was sprawled along the settee by the wall, engrossed in a
+      paper covered dime novel. &ldquo;Issy&rdquo; was a lover of certain kinds of
+      literature and reveled in lurid fiction. As a youngster he had, at the age
+      of thirteen, after a course of reading in the &ldquo;Deadwood Dick Library,&rdquo;
+       started on a pedestrian journey to the Far West, where, being armed with
+      home-made tomahawk and scalping knife, he contemplated extermination of
+      the noble red man. A wrathful pursuing parent had collared the
+      exterminator at the Bayport station, to the huge delight of East Harniss,
+      young and old. Since this adventure Issy had been famous, in a way.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      He was Captain Sol Berry's assistant at the depot. Why an assistant was
+      needed was a much discussed question. Why Captain Sol, a retired seafaring
+      man with money in the bank, should care to be depot master at ten dollars
+      a week was another. The Captain himself said he took the place because he
+      wanted to do something that was &ldquo;half way between a loaf and a job.&rdquo; He
+      employed an assistant at his own expense because he &ldquo;might want to stretch
+      the loafin' half.&rdquo; And he hired Issy because&mdash;well, because &ldquo;most
+      folks in East Harniss are alike and you can always tell about what they'll
+      say or do. Now Issy's different. The Lord only knows what HE'S likely to
+      do, and that makes him interestin' as a conundrum, to guess at. He kind of
+      keeps my sense of responsibility from gettin' mossy, Issy does.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Issy,&rdquo; hailed Mr. Phinney, &ldquo;has the Cap'n got here yet?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy answered not. The villainous floorwalker had just proffered matrimony
+      or summary discharge to &ldquo;Flora, the Beautiful Shop Girl,&rdquo; and pending her
+      answer, the McKay mind had no room for trifles.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Issy!&rdquo; shouted Simeon. &ldquo;I say, Is', Wake up, you foolhead! Has Cap'n Sol&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No, he ain't, Sim,&rdquo; volunteered Ed Crocker. He and his chum, Cornelius
+      Rowe, were seated in two of the waiting room chairs, their feet on two
+      others. &ldquo;He ain't got here yet. We was just talkin' about him. You've
+      heard about Olive Edwards, I s'pose likely, ain't you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Phinney nodded gloomily.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;I've heard.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, it's too bad,&rdquo; continued Crocker. &ldquo;But, after all, it's Olive's own
+      fault. She'd ought to have married Sol Berry when she had the chance. What
+      she ever gave him the go-by for, after the years they was keepin' comp'ny,
+      is more'n I can understand.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Cornelius Rowe shook his head, with an air of wisdom. Captain Sol,
+      himself, remarked once: &ldquo;I wonder sometimes the Almighty ain't jealous of
+      Cornelius, he knows so much and is so responsible for the runnin' of all
+      creation.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Humph!&rdquo; grunted Mr. Rowe. &ldquo;There's more to that business than you folks
+      think. Olive didn't notice Bill Edwards till Sol went off to sea and
+      stayed two years and over. How do you know she shook Sol? You might just
+      as well say he shook her. He always was stubborn as an off ox and cranky
+      as a windlass. I wonder how he feels now, when she's lost her last red and
+      is goin' to be drove out of house and home. And all on account of that
+      fool 'mountain and Mahomet' business.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;WHICH?&rdquo; asked Mr. Crocker.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Never mind that, Cornelius,&rdquo; put in Phinney, sharply. &ldquo;Why don't you let
+      other folks' affairs alone? That was a secret that Olive told your sister
+      and you've got no right to go blabbin'.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Aw, hush up, Sim! I ain't tellin' no secrets to anybody but Ed here, and
+      he ain't lived in East Harniss long or he'd know it already. The mountain
+      and Mahomet? Why, them was the last words Sol and Olive had. 'Twas Sol's
+      stubbornness that was most to blame. That was his one bad fault. He would
+      have his own way and he wouldn't change. Olive had set her heart on goin'
+      to Washin'ton for their weddin' tower. Sol wanted to go to Niagara. They
+      argued a long time, and finally Olive says, 'No, Solomon, I'm not goin' to
+      give in this time. I have all the others, but it's not fair and it's not
+      right, and no married life can be happy where one does all the
+      sacrificin'. If you care for me you'll do as I want now.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And he laughs and says, 'All right, I'll sacrifice after this, but you
+      and me must see Niagara.' And she was sot and he was sotter, and at last
+      they quarreled. He marches out of the door and says: 'Very good. When
+      you're ready to be sensible and change your mind, you can come to me. And
+      says Olive, pretty white but firm: 'No, Solomon, I'm right and you're not.
+      I'm afraid this time the mountain must come to Mahomet.' That ended it. He
+      went away and never come back, and after a long spell she give in to her
+      dad and married Bill Edwards. Foolish? 'Well, now, WA'N'T it!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Humph!&rdquo; grunted Crocker. &ldquo;She must have been a born gump to let a smart
+      man like him get away just for that.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There's a good many born gumps not so far from here as her house,&rdquo;
+       interjected Phinney. &ldquo;You remember that next time you look in the glass,
+      Ed Crocker. And&mdash;and&mdash;well, there's no better friend of Sol
+      Berry's on earth than I am, but, so fur as their quarrel was concerned, if
+      you ask me I'd have to say Olive was pretty nigh right.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Maybe&mdash;maybe,&rdquo; declared the allwise Cornelius, &ldquo;but just the same if
+      I was Sol Berry, and knew my old girl was likely to go to the poorhouse,
+      I'll bet my conscience&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;S-ssh!&rdquo; hissed Crocker, frantically. Cornelius stopped in the middle of
+      his sentence, whirled in his chair, and looked up. Behind him in the
+      doorway of the station stood Captain Sol himself. The blue cap he always
+      wore was set back on his head, a cigar tipped upward from the corner of
+      his mouth, and there was a grim look in his eye and about the smooth
+      shaven lips above the short, grayish-brown beard.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Issy&rdquo; sprang from his settee and jammed the paper novel into his pocket.
+      Ed Crocker's sunburned face turned redder yet. Sim Phinney grinned at Mr.
+      Rowe, who was very much embarrassed.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Er&mdash;er&mdash;evenin', Cap'n Sol,&rdquo; he stammered. &ldquo;Nice, seasonable
+      weather, ain't it? Been a nice day.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Um,&rdquo; grunted the depot master, knocking the ashes from his cigar.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Just right for workin' outdoor,&rdquo; continued Cornelius.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I guess it must be. I saw your wife rakin' the yard this mornin'.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Phinney doubled up with a chuckle. Mr. Rowe swallowed hard. &ldquo;I&mdash;I
+      TOLD her I'd rake it myself soon's I got time,&rdquo; he sputtered.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Um. Well, I s'pose she realized your time was precious. Evenin', Sim,
+      glad to see you.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He held out his hand and Phinney grasped it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Issy,&rdquo; said Captain Sol, &ldquo;you'd better get busy with the broom, hadn't
+      you. It's standin' over in that corner and I wouldn't wonder if it needed
+      exercise. Sim, the train ain't due for twenty minutes yet. That gives us
+      at least three quarters of an hour afore it gets here. Come outside a
+      spell. I want to talk to you.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He led the way to the platform, around the corner of the station, and
+      seated himself on the baggage truck. That side of the building, being
+      furthest from the street, was out of view from the post office and
+      &ldquo;general store.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What was it you wanted to talk about, Sol?&rdquo; asked Simeon, sitting down
+      beside his friend on the truck.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Captain smoked in silence for a moment. Then he asked a question in
+      return.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sim,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;have you heard anything about Williams buying the Smalley
+      house? Is it true?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Phinney nodded. &ldquo;Yup,&rdquo; he answered, &ldquo;it's true. Williams was just talkin'
+      to me and I know all about his buyin' it and where it's goin'.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He repeated the conversation with the great man. Captain Sol did not
+      interrupt. He smoked on, and a frown gathered and deepened as he listened.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Humph!&rdquo; he said, when his friend had concluded. &ldquo;Humph! Sim, do you have
+      any idea what&mdash;what Olive Seabury will do when she has to go?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Phinney glanced at him. It was the first time in twenty years that he had
+      heard Solomon Berry mention the name of his former sweetheart. And even
+      now he did not call her by her married name, the name of her late husband.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; replied Simeon. &ldquo;No, Sol, I ain't got the least idea. Poor thing!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Another interval. Then: &ldquo;Well, Sim, find out if you can, and let me know.
+      And,&rdquo; turning his head and speaking quietly but firmly, &ldquo;don't let anybody
+      ELSE know I asked.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Course I won't, Sol, you know that. But don't it seem awful mean turnin'
+      her out so? I wouldn't think Mr. Williams would do such a thing.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      His companion smiled grimly; &ldquo;I would,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;'Business is business,'
+      that's his motto. That and 'Look out for number one.'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, he said somethin' to me about lookin' out for number one.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Did he? Humph!&rdquo; The Captain's smile lost a little of its bitterness and
+      broadened. He seemed to be thinking and to find amusement in the process.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What you grinnin' at?&rdquo; demanded Phinney.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Oh, I was just rememberin' how he looked out for number one the first&mdash;no,
+      the second time I met him. I don't believe he's forgot it. Maybe that's
+      why he ain't quite so high and mighty to me as he is to the rest of you
+      fellers. Ha! ha! He tried to patronize me when I first came back here and
+      took this depot and I just smiled and asked him what the market price of
+      johnny-cake was these days. He got red clear up to the brim of his tall
+      hat. Humph! 'TWAS funny.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The market price of JOHNNY-CAKE! He must have thought you was loony.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No. I'm the last man he'd think was loony. You see I met him a fore he
+      came here to live at all.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You did? Where?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Oh, over to Wellmouth. 'Twas the year afore I come back to East Harniss,
+      myself, after my long stretch away from it. I never intended to see the
+      Cape again, but I couldn't stay away somehow. I've told you that much&mdash;how
+      I went over to Wellmouth and boarded a spell, got sick of that, and, just
+      to be doin' somethin' and not for the money, bought a catboat and took out
+      sailin' parties from Wixon and Wingate's summer hotel.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And you met Mr. Williams? Well, I snum! Was he at the hotel?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No, not exactly. I met him sort of casual this second time.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;SECOND time? Had you met him afore that?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Don't get ahead of the yarn, Sim. It happened this way: You see, I was
+      comin' along the road between East Wellmouth and the Center when I run
+      afoul of him. He was fat and shiny, and drivin' a skittish horse hitched
+      to a fancy buggy. When he sighted me he hove to and hailed.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Here you!' says he, in a voice as fat as the rest of him. 'Your name's
+      Berry, ain't it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yup,' says I.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Methusalum Berry or Jehoshaphat Berry or Sheba Berry, or somethin' like
+      that? Hey?' he says.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Well,' says I, 'the last shot you fired comes nighest the bull's eye.
+      They christened me Solomon, but 'twa'n't my fault; I was young at the time
+      and they took advantage.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He grinned a kind of lopsided grin, like he had a lemon in his mouth, and
+      commenced to cuss the horse for tryin' to climb a pine tree.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I knew 'twas some Bible outrage or other,' he says. 'There's more Bible
+      names in this forsaken sand heap than there is Christians, a good sight.
+      When I meet a man with a Bible name and chin whiskers I hang on to my
+      watch. The feller that sets out to do me has got to have a better make up
+      than that, you bet your life. 'Well, see here, King Sol; can you run a
+      gasoline launch?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Why, yes, I guess I can run 'most any of the everyday kinds,' says I,
+      pullin' thoughtful at my own chin whiskers. This fat man had got me
+      interested. He was so polite and folksy in his remarks. Didn't seem to
+      stand on no ceremony, as you might say. Likewise there was a kind of
+      familiar somethin' about his face. I knew mighty well I'd never met him
+      afore, and yet I seemed to have a floatin' memory of him, same as a chap
+      remembers the taste of the senna and salts his ma made him take when he
+      was little.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'All right,' says he, sharp. 'Then you come around to my landin'
+      to-morrer mornin' at eight o'clock prompt and take me out in my launch to
+      the cod-fishin' grounds. I'll give you ten dollars to take me out there
+      and back.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Well,' says I, 'ten dollars is a good price enough. Do I furnish&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You furnish nothin' except your grub,' he interrupts. 'The launch'll be
+      ready and the lines and hooks and bait'll be ready. My own man was to do
+      the job, but he and I had a heart-to-heart talk just now and I told him
+      where he could go and go quick. No smart Alec gets the best of me, even if
+      he has got a month's contract. You run that launch and put me on the
+      fishin' grounds. I pay you for that and bringin' me back again. And I
+      furnish my own extras and you can furnish yours. I don't want any of your
+      Yankee bargainin'. See?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I saw. There wa'n't no real reason why I couldn't take the job. 'Twas
+      well along into September; the hotel was closed for the season; and about
+      all I had on my hands just then was time.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'All right,' says I, 'it's a deal. If you'll guarantee to have your
+      launch ready, I&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'That's my business,' he says. 'It'll be ready. If it ain't you'll get
+      your pay just the same. To-morrer mornin' at eight o'clock. And don't you
+      forget and be late. Gid-dap, you blackguard!' says he to the horse.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hold on, just a minute,' I hollers, runnin' after him. 'I don't want to
+      be curious nor nosey, you understand, but seems 's if it might help me to
+      be on time if I knew where your launch was goin' to be and what your name
+      was.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He pulled up then. 'Humph!' he says, 'if you don't know my name and more
+      about my private affairs than I do myself, you're the only one in this
+      county that don't. My name's Williams, and I live in what you folks call
+      the Lathrop place over here toward Trumet. The launch is at my landin'
+      down in front of the house.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He drove off then and I walked along thinkin'. I knew who he was now, of
+      course. There was consider'ble talk when the Lathrop place was rented, and
+      I gathered that the feller who hired it answered to the hail of Williams
+      and was a retired banker, sufferin' from an enlarged income and the
+      diseases that go along with it. He lived alone up there in the big house,
+      except for a cranky housekeeper and two or three servants. This was afore
+      he got married, Sim; his wife's tamed him a little. Then the yarns about
+      his temper and language would have filled a log book.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But all this was way to one side of the mark-buoy, so fur as I was
+      concerned. I'd cruised with cranks afore and I thought I could stand this
+      one&mdash;ten dollars' worth of him, anyhow. Bluster and big talk may
+      scare some folks, but to me they're like Aunt Hepsy Parker's false teeth,
+      the further off you be from 'em the more real they look. So the next
+      mornin' I was up bright and early and on my way over to the Lathrop
+      landin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The launch was there, made fast alongside the little wharf. Nice,
+      slick-lookin' craft she was, too, all varnish and gilt gorgeousness. I'd
+      liked her better if she'd carried a sail, for it's my experience that
+      canvas is a handy thing to have aboard in case of need; but she looked
+      seaworthy enough and built for speed.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;While I was standin' on the pier lookin' down at her I heard footsteps
+      and brisk remarks from behind the bushes on the bank, and here comes
+      Williams, puffin' and blowin', followed by a sulky-lookin' hired man
+      totin' a deckload of sweaters and ileskins, with a lunch basket on top.
+      Williams himself wan't carryin' anything but his temper, but he hadn't
+      forgot none of that.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hello, Berry,' says he to me. 'You are on time, ain't you. Blessed if it
+      ain't a comfort to find somebody who'll do what I tell 'em. Now you,' he
+      says to the servant, 'put them things aboard and clear out as quick as
+      you've a mind to. You and I are through; understand? Don't let me find you
+      hangin' around the place when I get back. Cast off, Sol.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The man dumped the dunnage into the launch, pretty average ugly, and me
+      and the boss climbed aboard. I cast off.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Mr. Williams,' says the man, kind of pleadin', 'ain't you goin' to pay
+      me the rest of my month's wages?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Williams told him he wa'n't, and added trimmin's to make it emphatic.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I started the engine and we moved out at a good clip. All at once that
+      hired man runs to the end of the wharf and calls after us.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'All right for you, you fat-head!' he yells. 'You'll be sorry for what
+      you done to me.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I cal'late the boss would have liked to go back and lick him, but I was
+      hired to go a-fishin', not to watch a one-sided prize fight, and I thought
+      'twas high time we started.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The name of that launch was the Shootin' Star, and she certainly lived up
+      to it. 'Twas one of them slick, greasy days, with no sea worth mentionin'
+      and we biled along fine. We had to, because the cod ledge is a good many
+      mile away, 'round Sandy P'int out to sea, and, judgin' by what I'd seen of
+      Fatty so fur, I wa'n't hankerin' to spend more time with him than was
+      necessary. More'n that, there was fog signs showin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'When was you figgerin' on gettin' back, Mr. Williams?' I asked him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'When I've caught as many fish as I want to,' he says. 'I told that
+      housekeeper of mine that I'd be back when I got good and ready; it might
+      be to-night and it might be ten days from now. &ldquo;If I ain't back in a week
+      you can hunt me up,&rdquo; I told her; &ldquo;but not before. And that goes.&rdquo; I've got
+      HER trained all right. She knows me. It's a pity if a man can't be
+      independent of females.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I knew consider'ble many men that was subjects for pity, 'cordin' to that
+      rule. But I wa'n't in for no week's cruise, and I told him so. He said of
+      course not; we'd be home that evenin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The Shootin' Star kept slippin' along. 'Twas a beautiful mornin' and,
+      after a spell, it had its effect, even on a crippled disposition like that
+      banker man's. He lit up a cigar and begun to get more sociable, in his
+      way. Commenced to ask me questions about myself.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;By and by he says: 'Berry, I suppose you figger that it's a smart thing
+      to get ten dollars out of me for a trip like this, hey?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Not if it's to last a week, I don't,' says I.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'It's your lookout if it does,' he says prompt. 'You get ten for takin'
+      me out and back. If you ain't back on time 'tain't my fault.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Unless this craft breaks down,' I says.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;''Twon't break down. I looked after that. My motto is to look out for
+      number one every time, and it's a mighty good motto. At any rate, it's
+      made my money for me.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He went on, preachin' about business shrewdness and how it paid, and how
+      mean and tricky in little deals we Rubes was, and yet we didn't appreciate
+      how to manage big things, till I got kind of sick of it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Look here, Mr. Williams,' says I, 'you know how I make my money&mdash;what
+      little I do make&mdash;or you say you do. Now, if it ain't a sassy
+      question, how did you make yours?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, he made his by bein' shrewd and careful and always lookin' out for
+      number one. 'Number one' was his hobby. I gathered that the heft of his
+      spare change had come from dickers in stocks and bonds.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Humph!' says I. 'Well, speakin' of tricks and meanness, I've allers
+      heard tell that there was some of them things hitched to the tail of the
+      stock market. What makes the stock market price of&mdash;well, of wheat,
+      we'll say?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That was regulated, so he said, by the law of supply and demand. If a
+      feller had all the wheat there was and another chap had to have some or
+      starve, why, the first one had a right to gouge t'other chap's last cent
+      away from him afore he let it go.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'That's legitimate,' he says. 'That's cornerin' the market. Law of supply
+      and demand exemplified.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;''Cordin' to that law,' says I, 'when you was so set on fishin' to-day
+      and hunted me up to run your boat here&mdash;'cause I was about the only
+      chap who could run it and wa'n't otherwise busy&mdash;I'd ought to have
+      charged you twenty dollars instead of ten.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Sure you had,' he says, grinnin'. 'But you weren't shrewd enough to
+      grasp the situation and do it. Now the deal's closed and it's too late.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He went on talkin' about 'pools' and deals' and such. How prices of this
+      stock and that was shoved up a-purpose till a lot of folks had put their
+      money in it and then was smashed flat so's all hands but the 'poolers'
+      would be what he called 'squeezed out,' and the gang would get their cash.
+      That was legitimate, too&mdash;'high finance,' he said.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But how about the poor folks that had their savin's in them stocks,' I
+      asks, 'and don't know high financin'? Where's the law of supply and demand
+      come in for them?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He laughed. 'They supply the suckers and the demand for money,' says he.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;By eleven we was well out toward the fishin' grounds. 'Twas the bad
+      season now; the big fish had struck off still further and there wa'n't
+      another boat in sight. The land was just a yeller and green smooch along
+      the sky line and the waves was runnin' bigger. The Shootin' Star was
+      seaworthy, though, and I wa'n't worried about her. The only thing that
+      troubled me was the fog, and that was pilin' up to wind'ard. I'd called
+      Fatty's attention to it when we fust started, but he said he didn't care a
+      red for fog. Well, I didn't much care nuther, for we had a compass aboard
+      and the engine was runnin' fine. What wind there was was blowin' offshore.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And then, all to once, the engine STOPPED runnin'. I give the wheel a
+      whirl, but she only coughed, consumptive-like, and quit again. I went
+      for'ard to inspect, and, if you'll believe it, there wa'n't a drop of
+      gasoline left in the tank. The spare cans had ought to have been full, and
+      they was&mdash;but 'twas water they was filled with.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Is THIS the way you have your boat ready for me?' I remarks, sarcastic.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'That&mdash;that man of mine told me he had everything filled,' he
+      stammers, lookin' scart.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes,' says I, 'and I heard him hint likewise that he was goin' to make
+      you sorry. I guess he's done it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, sir! the brimstone names that Fatty called that man was somethin'
+      surprisin' to hear. When he'd used up all he had in stock he invented new
+      ones. When the praise service was over he turns to me and says: 'But what
+      are we goin' to do?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Do?' says I. 'That's easy. We're goin' to drift.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And that's what we done. I tried to anchor, but we wa'n't over the ledge
+      and the iron wouldn't reach bottom by a mile, more or less. I rigged up a
+      sail out of the oar and the canvas spray shield, but there wa'n't wind
+      enough to give us steerageway. So we drifted and drifted, out to sea. And
+      by and by the fog come down and shut us in, and that fixed what little
+      hope I had of bein' seen by the life patrol on shore.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The breeze died out flat about three o'clock. In one way this was a good
+      thing. In another it wa'n't, because we was well out in deep water, and
+      when the wind did come it was likely to come harder'n we needed. However,
+      there wa'n't nothin' to do but wait and hope for the best, as the feller
+      said when his wife's mother was sick.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It was gettin' pretty well along toward the edge of the evenin' when I
+      smelt the wind a-comin'. It came in puffs at fust, and every puff was
+      healthier than the one previous. Inside of ten minutes it was blowin'
+      hard, and the seas were beginnin' to kick up. I got up my jury rig&mdash;the
+      oar and the spray shield&mdash;and took the helm. There wa'n't nothin' to
+      do but run afore it, and the land knows where we would fetch up. At any
+      rate, if the compass was right, we was drivin' back into the bay again,
+      for the wind had hauled clear around.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The Shootin' Star jumped and sloshed. Fatty had on all the ileskins and
+      sweaters, but he was shakin' like a custard pie.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, oh, heavens!' he chatters. 'What will we do? Will we drown?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Don't know,' says I, tuggin' at the wheel and tryin' to sight the
+      compass. 'You've got the best chance of the two of us, if it's true that
+      fat floats.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I thought that might cheer him up some, but it didn't. A big wave heeled
+      us over then and a keg or two of salt water poured over the gunwale. He
+      give a yell and jumped up.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'My Lord!' he screams. 'We're sinkin'. Help! help!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Set down!' I roared. 'Thought you knew how to act in a boat. Set down!
+      d'you hear me? SET DOWN AND SET STILL!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He set. Likewise he shivered and groaned. It got darker all the time and
+      the wind freshened every minute. I expected to see that jury mast go by
+      the board at any time. Lucky for us it held.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No use tellin' about the next couple of hours. 'Cordin' to my reckonin'
+      they was years and we'd ought to have sailed plumb through the broadside
+      of the Cape, and be makin' a quick run for Africy. But at last we got into
+      smoother water, and then, right acrost our bows, showed up a white strip.
+      The fog had pretty well blowed clear and I could see it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Land, ho!' I yells. 'Stand by! WE'RE goin' to bump.'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Sol stopped short and listened. Mr. Phinney grasped his arm.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;For the dear land sakes, Sol,&rdquo; he exclaimed, &ldquo;don't leave me hangin' in
+      them breakers no longer'n you can help! Heave ahead! DID you bump?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The depot master chuckled.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;DID we?&rdquo; he repeated. &ldquo;Well, I'll tell you that by and by. Here comes the
+      train and I better take charge of the ship. Anything so responsible as
+      seein' the cars come in without me to help would give Issy the jumpin'
+      heart disease.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He sprang from the truck and hastened toward the door of the station.
+      Phinney, rising to follow him, saw, over the dark green of the swamp
+      cedars at the head of the track, an advancing column of smoke. A whistle
+      sounded. The train was coming in.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0002" id="link2HCH0002">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER II
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      SUPPLY AND DEMAND
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      And now life in East Harniss became temporarily fevered. Issy McKay dashed
+      out of the station and rushed importantly up and down the platform. Ed
+      Crocker and Cornelius Rowe emerged and draped themselves in statuesque
+      attitudes against the side of the building. Obed Gott came hurrying from
+      his paint and oil shop, which was next to the &ldquo;general store.&rdquo; Mr.
+      Higgins, proprietor of the latter, sauntered easily across to receive, in
+      his official capacity as postmaster, the mail bag. Ten or more citizens,
+      of both sexes, and of various ages, gathered in groups to inspect and
+      supervise.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The locomotive pulled its string of cars, a &ldquo;baggage,&rdquo; a &ldquo;smoker,&rdquo; and two
+      &ldquo;passengers,&rdquo; alongside the platform. The sliding door of the baggage car
+      was pushed back and the baggage master appeared in the opening. &ldquo;Hi!
+      Cap'n!&rdquo; he shouted. &ldquo;Hi, Cap'n Sol! Here's some express for you.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      But unfortunately the Captain was in conversation with the conductor at
+      the other end of the train. Issy, willing and officious, sprang forward.
+      &ldquo;I'll take it, Bill,&rdquo; he volunteered. &ldquo;Here, give it to me.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The baggage master handed down the package, a good sized one marked
+      &ldquo;Glass. With Care.&rdquo; Issy received it, clutched it to his bosom, turned and
+      saw Gertie Higgins, pretty daughter of Beriah Higgins, stepping from the
+      first car to the platform. Gertie had been staying with an aunt in Trumet
+      and was now returning home for a day or two.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy stopped short and gazed at her. He saw her meet and kiss her father,
+      and the sight roused turbulent emotions in his bosom. He saw her nod and
+      smile at acquaintances whom she passed. She approached, noticed him, and&mdash;oh,
+      rapture!&mdash;said laughingly, &ldquo;Hello, Is.&rdquo; Before he could recover his
+      senses and remember to do more than grin she had disappeared around the
+      corner of the station. Therefore he did not see the young man who stepped
+      forward to shake her hand and whisper in her ear. This young man was Sam
+      Bartlett, and, as a &ldquo;city dude,&rdquo; Issy loathed and hated him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      No, Issy did not see the hurried and brief meeting between Bartlett and
+      Gertie Higgins, but he had seen enough to cause forgetfulness of mundane
+      things. For an instant he stared after the vanished vision. Then he
+      stepped blindly forward, tripped over something&mdash;&ldquo;his off hind leg,&rdquo;
+       so Captain Sol afterwards vowed&mdash;and fell sprawling, the express
+      package beneath him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The crash of glass reached the ears of the depot master. He broke away
+      from the conductor and ran toward his prostrate &ldquo;assistant.&rdquo; Pushing aside
+      the delighted and uproarious bystanders, he forcibly helped the young man
+      to rise.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What in time?&rdquo; he demanded.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy agonizingly held the package to his ear and shook it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I&mdash;I'm afraid somethin's cracked,&rdquo; he faltered.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The crowd set up a whoop. Ed Crocker appeared to be in danger of
+      strangling.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Cracked!&rdquo; repeated Captain Sol. &ldquo;Cracked!&rdquo; he smiled, in spite of
+      himself. &ldquo;Yes, somethin's cracked. It's that head of yours, Issy. Here,
+      let's see!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He snatched the package from the McKay hands and inspected it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Smashed to thunder!&rdquo; he declared. &ldquo;Who's the lucky one it belongs to?
+      Humph!&rdquo; He read the inscription aloud, &ldquo;Major Cuthbertson S. Hardee. The
+      Major, hey! . . . Well, Is, you take the remains inside and you and I'll
+      hold services over it later.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I&mdash;I didn't go to do it,&rdquo; protested the frightened Issy.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Course you didn't. If you had you wouldn't. You're like the feller in
+      Scriptur', you leave undone the things you ought to do and do them that&mdash;All
+      right, Jim! Let her go! Cast off!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The conductor waved his hand, the engine puffed, the bell rang, and the
+      train moved onward. For another twelve hours East Harniss was left
+      marooned by the outside world.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Beriah Higgins and the mail bag were already in the post office. Thither
+      went the crowd to await the sorting and ultimate distribution. A short,
+      fat little man lingered and, walking up to the depot master, extended his
+      hand.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hello, Sol!&rdquo; he said, smiling. &ldquo;Thought I'd stop long enough to say
+      'Howdy,' anyhow.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Why, Bailey Stitt!&rdquo; cried the Captain. &ldquo;How are you? Glad to see you.
+      Thought you was down to South Orham, takin' out seasick parties for the
+      Ocean House, same kind of a job I used to have in Wellmouth.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I am,&rdquo; replied Captain Stitt. &ldquo;That is, I was. Just now I've run over
+      here to see about contractin' for a supply of clams and quahaugs for our
+      boarders. You never see such a gang to eat as them summer folks, in your
+      life. Barzilla Wingate, he says the same about his crowd. He's comin' on
+      the mornin' train from Wellmouth.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You don't tell me. I ain't seen Barzilla for a long spell. Where you
+      stoppin'? Come up to the house, won't you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Can't. I'm goin' to put up over to Obed Gott's. His sister, Polena Ginn,
+      is a relation of mine by marriage. So long! Obed's gone on ahead to tell
+      Polena to put the kettle on. Maybe Obed and I'll be back again after I've
+      had supper.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Do. I'll be round here for two or three hours yet.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He entered the depot. Except the forlorn Issy, who sat in a corner,
+      holding the express package in his lap, Simeon Phinney was the only person
+      in the waiting room.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Come on now, Sol!&rdquo; pleaded Sim. &ldquo;I want to hear the rest of that about
+      you and Williams. You left off in the most ticklish place possible, out of
+      spite, I do believe. I'm hangin' on to that boat in the breakers until I
+      declare I believe I'm catchin' cold just from imagination.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Wait a minute, Sim,&rdquo; said the depot master. Then he turned to his
+      assistant.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Issy,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;this is about the nineteenth time you've done just this
+      sort of thing. You're no earthly use and I ought to give you your
+      clearance papers. But I can't, you're too&mdash;well&mdash;ornamental.
+      You've got to be punished somehow and I guess the best way will be to send
+      you right up to Major Hardee's and let you give him the remnants. He'll
+      want to know how it happened, and you tell him the truth. The TRUTH,
+      understand? If you invent any fairy tales out of those novels of yours
+      I'll know it by and by and&mdash;well, YOU'LL know I know. No remarks,
+      please. Git!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy hesitated, seemed about to speak, thought better of it, took up
+      package and cap, and &ldquo;got.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Let's see,&rdquo; said the Captain, sitting down in one of the station chairs
+      and lighting a fresh cigar; &ldquo;where was Williams and I in that yarn of
+      mine? Oh, yes, I could see land and cal'lated we was goin' to bump. Well,
+      we did. Steerin' anyways but dead ahead was out of the question, and all I
+      could do was set my teeth and trust in my bein' a member of the church.
+      The Shootin' Star hit that beach like she was the real article. Overboard
+      went oar and canvas and grub pails, and everything else that wa'n't nailed
+      down, includin' Fatty and me. I grabbed him by the collar and wallowed
+      ashore.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Awk! hawk!' he gasps, chokin', 'I'm drownded.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I let him BE drownded, for the minute. I had the launch to think of, and
+      somehow or 'nother I got hold of her rodin' and hauled the anchor up above
+      tide mark. Then I attended to my passenger.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Where are we?' he asks.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I looked around. Close by was nothin' but beach-grass and seaweed and
+      sand. A little ways off was a clump of scrub pines and bayberry bushes
+      that looked sort of familiar. And back of them was a little board shanty
+      that looked more familiar still. I rubbed the salt out of my eyes.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'WELL!' says I. 'I swan to man!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What is it?' he says. 'Do you know where we are? Whose house is that?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I looked hard at the shanty.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Humph!' I grunted. 'I do declare! Talk about a feller's comin' back to
+      his own. Whose shanty is that? Well, it's mine, if you want to know. The
+      power that looks out for the lame and the lazy has hove us ashore on
+      Woodchuck Island, and that's a piece of real estate I own.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It sounds crazy enough, that's a fact; but it was true. Woodchuck Island
+      is a little mite of a sand heap off in the bay, two mile from shore and
+      ten from the nighest town. I'd bought it and put up a shanty for a gunnin'
+      shack; took city gunners down there, once in a while, the fall before.
+      That summer I'd leased it to a friend of mine, name of Darius Baker, who
+      used it while he was lobsterin'. The gale had driven us straight in from
+      sea, 'way past Sandy P'int and on to the island. 'Twas like hittin' a nail
+      head in a board fence, but we'd done it. Shows what Providence can do when
+      it sets out.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I explained some of this to Williams as we waded through the sand to the
+      shanty.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But is this Baker chap here now?' he asks.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I'm afraid not,' says I. 'The lobster season's about over, and he was
+      goin' South on a yacht this week. Still, he wa'n't to go till Saturday and
+      perhaps&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But the shanty was empty when we got there. I fumbled around in the tin
+      matchbox and lit the kerosene lamp in the bracket on the wall. Then I
+      turned to Williams.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Well,' says I, 'we're lucky for once in&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then I stopped. When he went overboard the water had washed off his hat.
+      Likewise it had washed off his long black hair&mdash;which was a wig&mdash;and
+      his head was all round and shiny and bald, like a gull's egg out in a rain
+      storm.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I knew he wore a wig,&rdquo; interrupted Phinney.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Of course you do. Everybody does now. But he wa'n't such a prophet in
+      Israel then as he's come to be since, and folks wa'n't acquainted with his
+      personal beauties.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What are you starin' at?' he asks.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I fetched a long breath. 'Nothin',' says I. 'Nothin'.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But for the rest of that next ha'f hour I went around in a kind of daze,
+      as if MY wig had gone and part of my head with it. When a feller has been
+      doin' a puzzle it kind of satisfies him to find out the answer. And I'd
+      done my puzzle.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I knew where I'd met Mr. Williams afore.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You did?&rdquo; cried Simeon.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Um-hm. Wait a while. Well, Fatty went to bed, in one of the hay bunks,
+      pretty soon after that. He stripped to his underclothes and turned in
+      under the patchwork comforters. He was too beat out to want any supper,
+      even if there'd been any in sight. I built a fire in the rusty cook stove
+      and dried his duds and mine. Then I set down in the busted chair and begun
+      to think. After a spell I got up and took account of stock, as you might
+      say, of the eatables in the shanty. Darius had carted off his own grub and
+      what there was on hand was mine, left over from the gunnin' season&mdash;a
+      hunk of salt pork in the pickle tub, some corn meal in a tin pail, some
+      musty white flour in another pail, a little coffee, a little sugar and
+      salt, and a can of condensed milk. I took these things out of the locker
+      they was in, looked 'em over, put 'em back again and sprung the padlock.
+      Then I put the key into my pocket and went back to my chair to do some
+      more thinkin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Next mornin' I was up early and when the banker turned out I was fryin' a
+      couple of slices of the pork and had some coffee b'ilin'. Likewise there
+      was a pan of johnnycake in the oven. The wind had gone down consider'ble,
+      but 'twas foggy and thick again, which was a pleasin' state of things for
+      yours truly.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Williams smelt the cookin' almost afore he got his eyes open.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hurry up with that breakfast,' he says to me. 'I'm hungry as a wolf.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I didn't say nothin' then; just went ahead with my cookin'. He got into
+      his clothes and went outdoor. Pretty soon he comes back, cussin' the
+      weather.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'See here, Mr. Williams,' says I, 'how about them orders to your
+      housekeeper? Are they straight? Won't she have you hunted up for a week?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He colored pretty red, but from what he said I made out that she
+      wouldn't. I gathered that him and the old lady wa'n't real chummy. She
+      give him his grub and her services, and he give her the Old Harry and her
+      wages. She wouldn't hunt for him, not until she was ordered to. She'd be
+      only too glad to have him out of the way.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Humph!' says I. 'Then I cal'late we'll enjoy the scenery on this garden
+      spot of creation until the week's up.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What do you mean?' says he.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Well,' I says, 'the launch is out of commission, unless it should rain
+      gasoline, and at this time of year there ain't likely to be a boat within
+      hailin' distance of this island; 'specially if the weather holds bad.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He swore a blue streak, payin' partic'lar attention to the housekeeper
+      for her general stupidness and to me because I'd got him, so he said, into
+      this scrape. I didn't say nothin'; set the table, with one plate and one
+      cup and sasser and knife and fork, hauled up a chair and set down to my
+      breakfast. He hauled up a box and set down, too.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Pass me that corn bread,' says he. 'And why didn't you fry more pork?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He was reachin' out for the johnnycake, but I pulled it out of his way.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Wait a minute, Mr. Williams,' says I. 'While you was snoozin' last night
+      I made out a kind of manifest of the vittles aboard this shanty. 'Cordin'
+      to my figgerin' here's scursely enough to last one husky man a week, let
+      along two husky ones. I paid consider'ble attention to your preachin'
+      yesterday and the text seemed to be to look out for number one. Now in
+      this case I'm the one and I've got to look out for myself. This is my
+      shanty, my island, and my grub. So please keep your hands off that
+      johnnycake.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;For a minute or so he set still and stared at me. Didn't seem to sense
+      the situation, as you might say. Then the red biled up in his face and
+      over his bald head like a Fundy tide.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Why, you dummed villain!' he shouts. 'Do you mean to starve me?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You won't starve in a week,' says I, helpin' myself to pork. 'A feller
+      named Tanner, that I read about years ago, lived for forty days on cold
+      water and nothin' else. There's the pump right over in the corner. It's my
+      pump, but I'll stretch a p'int and not charge for it this time.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You&mdash;you&mdash;' he stammers, shakin' all over, he was so mad.
+      'Didn't I hire you&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You hired me to take you out to the fishin' grounds and back, provided
+      the launch was made ready by YOU. It wa'n't ready, so THAT contract's
+      busted. And you was to furnish your extrys and I was to furnish mine. Here
+      they be and I need 'em. It's as legitimate a deal as ever I see; perfect
+      case of supply and demand&mdash;supply for one and demand for two. As I
+      said afore, I'm the one.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'By thunder!' he growls, standin' up, 'I'll show you&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I stood up, too. He was fat and flabby and I was thin and wiry. We looked
+      each other over.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I wouldn't,' says I. 'You're under the doctor's care, you know.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So he set down again, not havin' strength even to swear, and watched me
+      eat my breakfast. And I ate it slow.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Say,' he says, finally, 'you think you're mighty smart, don't you. Well,
+      I'm It, I guess, for this time. I suppose you'll have no objection to
+      SELLIN' me a breakfast?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No&mdash;o,' says I, 'not a mite of objection. I'll sell you a couple of
+      slices of pork for five dollars a slice and&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'FIVE DOLLARS a&mdash;!' His mouth dropped open like a main hatch.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Sartin,' I says. 'And two slabs of johnnycake at five dollars a slab.
+      And a cup of coffee at five dollars a cup. And&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You're crazy!' he sputters, jumpin' up.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Not much, I ain't. I've been settin' at your feet larnin' high finance,
+      that's all. You don't seem to be onto the real inwardness of this deal.
+      I've got the grub market cornered, that's all. The market price of
+      necessaries is five dollars each now; it's likely to rise at any time, but
+      now it's five.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He looked at me steady for at least two more minutes. Then he got up and
+      banged out of that shanty. A little later I see him down at the end of the
+      sand spit starin' out into the fog; lookin' for a sail, I presume likely.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I finished my breakfast and washed up the dishes. He come in by and by.
+      He hadn't had no dinner nor supper, you see, and the salt air gives most
+      folks an almighty appetite.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Say,' he says, 'I've been thinkin'. It's usual in the stock and
+      provision market to deal on a margin. Suppose I pay you a one per cent
+      margin now and&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'All right,' says I, cheerful. 'Then I'll give you a slip of paper sayin'
+      that you've bought such and such slices of pork and hunks of johnnycake
+      and I'm carryin' 'em for you on a margin. Of course there ain't no
+      delivery of the goods now because&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Humph!' he interrupts, sour. 'You seem to know more'n I thought you did.
+      Now are you goin' to be decent and make me a fair price or ain't you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Can't sell under the latest quotations,' says I. 'That's five now; and
+      spot cash.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But hang it all!' he says, 'I haven't got money enough with me. Think I
+      carry a national bank around in my clothes?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You carry a Wellmouth Bank check book,' says I, 'because I see it in
+      your jacket pocket last night when I was dryin' your duds. I'll take a
+      check.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He started to say somethin' and then stopped. After a spell he seemed to
+      give in all to once.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Very good,' he says. 'You get my breakfast ready and I'll make out the
+      check.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That breakfast cost him twenty-five dollars; thirty really, because he
+      added another five for an extry cup of coffee. I told him to make the
+      check payable to 'Bearer,' as 'twas quicker to write than 'Solomon.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He had two more meals that day and at bedtime I had his checks amountin'
+      to ninety-five dollars. The fog stayed with us all the time and nobody
+      come to pick us up. And the next mornin's outlook was just as bad, bein' a
+      drizzlin' rain and a high wind. The mainland beach was in sight but that's
+      all except salt water and rain.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He was surprisin'ly cheerful all that day, eatin' like a horse and givin'
+      up his meal checks without a whimper. If things had been different from
+      what they was I'd have felt like a mean sneak thief. BEIN' as they was, I
+      counted up the hundred and ten I'd made that day without a pinch of
+      conscience.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;This was a Wednesday. On Thursday, the third day of our Robinson Crusoe
+      business, the weather was still thick, though there was signs of clearin'.
+      Fatty come to me after breakfast&mdash;which cost him thirty-five,
+      payable, as usual, to 'Bearer'&mdash;with almost a grin on his big face.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Berry,' he says, 'I owe you an apology. I thought you was a green Rube,
+      like the rest down here, but you're as sharp as they make 'em. I ain't the
+      man to squeal when I get let in on a bad deal, and the chap who can work
+      me for a sucker is entitled to all he can make. But this pay-as-you-go
+      business is too slow and troublesome. What'll you take for the rest of the
+      grub in the locker there, spot cash? Be white, and make a fair price.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I'd been expectin' somethin' like this, and I was ready for him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Two hundred and sixty-five dollars,' says I, prompt.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He done a little figgerin'. 'Well, allowin' that I have to put up on this
+      heap of desolation for the better part of four days more, that's cheap,
+      accordin' to your former rates,' he says. 'I'll go you. But why not make
+      it two fifty, even?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Two hundred and sixty-five's my price,' says I. So he handed over
+      another 'Bearer' check, and his board bill was paid for a week.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Friday was a fine day, clear as a bell. Me and Williams had a real
+      picnicky, sociable time. Livin' outdoor this way had made him forget his
+      diseases and the doctor, and he showed signs of bein' ha'fway decent. We
+      loafed around and talked and dug clams to help out the pork&mdash;that is,
+      I dug 'em and Fatty superintended. We see no less'n three sailin' craft go
+      by down the bay and tried our best to signal 'em, but they didn't pay
+      attention&mdash;thought we was gunners or somethin', I presume likely.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;At breakfast on Saturday, Williams begun to ask questions again.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Sol,' says he, 'it surprised me to find that you knew what a &ldquo;margin&rdquo;
+       was. You didn't get that from anything I said. Where did you get it?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I leaned back on my box seat.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Mr. Williams,' says I, 'I cal'late I'll tell you a little story, if you
+      want to hear it. 'Tain't much of a yarn, as yarns go, but maybe it'll
+      interest you. The start of it goes back to consider'ble many year ago,
+      when I was poorer'n I be now, and a mighty sight younger. At that time me
+      and another feller, a partner of mine, had a fish weir out in the bay
+      here. The mackerel struck in and we done well, unusual well. At the end of
+      the season, not countin' what we'd spent for livin' and expenses, we had a
+      balance owin' us at our fish dealer's up to Boston of five hundred dollars&mdash;two
+      fifty apiece. My partner was goin' to be married in the spring and was
+      cal'latin' to use his share to buy furniture for the new house with. So we
+      decided we'd take a trip up to Boston and collect the money, stick it into
+      some savin's bank where 'twould draw interest until spring and then haul
+      it out and use it. 'Twas about every cent we had in the world.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'So to Boston we went, collected our money, got the address of a safe
+      bank and started out to find it. But on the way my partner's hat blowed
+      off and the bank address, which was on a slip of paper inside of it, got
+      lost. So we see a sign on a buildin', along with a lot of others, that
+      kind of suggested bankin', and so we stepped into the buildin' and went
+      upstairs to ask the way again.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'The place wa'n't very big, but 'twas fixed up fancy and there was a kind
+      of blackboard along the end of the room where a boy was markin' up figgers
+      in chalk. A nice, smilin' lookin' man met us and, when we told him what we
+      wanted, he asked us to set down. Then, afore we knowed it almost, we'd
+      told him the whole story&mdash;about the five hundred and all. The feller
+      said to hold on a spell and he'd go along with us and show us where the
+      savin's bank was himself.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'So we waited and all the time the figgers kept goin' up on the board,
+      under signs of &ldquo;Pork&rdquo; and &ldquo;Wheat&rdquo; and &ldquo;Cotton&rdquo; and such, and we'd hear how
+      so and so's account was makin' a thousand a day, and the like of that.
+      After a while the nice man, who it turned out was one of the bosses of the
+      concern, told us what it meant. Seemed there was a big &ldquo;rise&rdquo; in the
+      market and them that bought now was bound to get rich quick. Consequent we
+      said we wished we could buy and get rich, too. And the smilin' chap says,
+      &ldquo;Let's go have some lunch.&rdquo;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Williams laughed. 'Ho, ho!' says he. 'Expensive lunch, was it?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Most extravagant meal of vittles ever I got away with,' I says. 'Cost me
+      and my partner two hundred and fifty apiece, that lunch did. We stayed in
+      Boston two days, and on the afternoon of the second day we was on our way
+      back totin' a couple of neat but expensive slips of paper signifyin' that
+      we'd bought December and May wheat on a one per cent margin. We was a
+      hundred ahead already, 'cordin' to the blackboard, and was figgerin' what
+      sort of palaces we'd build when we cashed in.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Ain't no use preachin' a long sermon over the remains. 'Twas a simple
+      funeral and nobody sent flowers. Inside of a month we was cleaned out and
+      the wheat place had gone out of business&mdash;failed, busted, you
+      understand. Our fish dealer friend asked some questions, and found out the
+      shebang wa'n't a real stock dealer's at all. 'Twas what they call a
+      &ldquo;bucket shop,&rdquo; and we'd bought nothin' but air, and paid a commission for
+      buyin' it. And the smilin', nice man that run the swindle had been hangin'
+      on the edge of bust for a long while and knowed 'twas comin'. Our five
+      hundred had helped pay his way to a healthier climate, that's all.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hold on a minute,' says Fatty, lookin' more interested. 'What was the
+      name of the firm that took you greenhorns in?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;''Twas the Empire Bond, Stock and Grain Exchange,' says I. 'And 'twas on
+      Derbyshire Street.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He give a little jump. Then he says, slow, Hu-u-m! I&mdash;see.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes,' says I. 'I thought you would. You had a mustache then and your
+      name was diff'rent, but you seemed familiar just the same. When your false
+      hair got washed off I knew you right away.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He took out his pocket pen and his check book and done a little
+      figgerin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Humph!' he says, again. 'You lost five hundred and I've paid you five
+      hundred and five. What's the five for?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'That's my commission on the sales,' I says.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And just then comes a hail from outside the shanty. Out we bolted and
+      there was Sam Davis, just steppin' ashore from his power boat. Williams's
+      housekeeper had strained a p'int and had shaded her orders by a couple of
+      days.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Williams and Sam started for home right off. I followed in the Shootin'
+      Star, havin' borrered gasoline enough for the run. I reached the dock ha'f
+      an hour after they did, and there was Fatty waitin' for me.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Berry,' says he, 'I've got a word or two to say to you. I ain't kickin'
+      at your givin' me tit for tat, or tryin' to. Turn about's fair play, if
+      you can call the turn. But it's against my principles to allow anybody to
+      beat me on a business deal. Do you suppose,' he says, 'that I'd have paid
+      your robber's prices without a word if I hadn't had somethin' up my
+      sleeve? Why, man,' says he, 'I gave you my CHECKS, not cash. And I've just
+      telephoned to the Wellmouth Bank to stop payment on those checks. They're
+      no earthly use to you; see? There's one or two things about high finance
+      that you don't know even yet. Ho, ho!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And he rocked back and forth on his heels and laughed.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I held up my hand. 'Wait a jiffy, Mr. Williams,' says I. 'I guess these
+      checks are all right. When we fust landed on Woodchuck, I judged by the
+      looks of the shanty that Baker hadn't left it for good. I cal'lated he'd
+      be back. And sure enough he come back, in his catboat, on Thursday
+      evenin', after you'd turned in. Them checks was payable to &ldquo;Bearer,&rdquo; you
+      remember, so I give 'em to him. He was to cash 'em in the fust thing
+      Friday mornin', and I guess you'll find he's done it.'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, I swan to MAN!&rdquo; interrupted the astonished and delighted Phinney.
+      &ldquo;So you had him after all! And I was scart you'd lost every cent.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Sol chuckled. &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; he went on, &ldquo;I had him, and his eyes and
+      mouth opened together.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'WHAT?' he bellers. 'Do you mean to say that a boat stopped at that
+      dummed island and DIDN'T TAKE US OFF?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh,' says I, 'Darius didn't feel called on to take you off, not after I
+      told him who you was. You see, Mr. Williams,' I says, 'Darius Baker was my
+      partner in that wheat speculation I was tellin' you about.'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The Captain drew a long breath and re-lit his cigar, which had gone out.
+      His friend pounded the settee ecstatically.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There!&rdquo; he cried. &ldquo;I knew the name 'Darius Baker' wa'n't so strange to
+      me. When was you and him in partners, Sol?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Oh, 'way back in the old days, afore I went to sea at all, and afore
+      mother died. You wouldn't remember much about it. Mother and I was livin'
+      in Trumet then and our house here was shut up. I was only a kid, or not
+      much more, and Williams was young, too.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And that's the way he made his money! HIM! Why, he's the most respected
+      man in this neighborhood, and goes to church, and&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes. Well, if you make money ENOUGH you can always be respected&mdash;by
+      some kinds of people&mdash;and find some church that'll take you in. Ain't
+      that so, Bailey?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Stitt and his cousin, Obed Gott, the paint dealer, were standing
+      in the doorway of the station. They now entered.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I guess it's so,&rdquo; replied Stitt, pulling up a chair, &ldquo;though I don't know
+      what you was talkin' about. However, it's a pretty average safe bet that
+      what you say is so, Sol, 'most any time. What's the special 'so,' this
+      time?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We was talkin' about Mr. Williams,&rdquo; began Phinney.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The Grand Panjandrum of East Harniss,&rdquo; broke in the depot master. &ldquo;East
+      Harniss is blessed with a great man, Bailey, and, like consider'ble many
+      blessin's he ain't entirely unmixed.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Obed and Simeon looked puzzled, but Captain Stitt bounced in his chair
+      like a good-natured rubber ball. &ldquo;Ho! ho!&rdquo; he chuckled, &ldquo;you don't
+      surprise me, Sol. We had a great man over to South Orham three years ago
+      and he begun by blessin's and ended with&mdash;with t'other thing. Ho!
+      ho!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What do you mean?&rdquo; demanded Sim.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Why, I mean Stingy Gabe. You've heard of Stingy Gabe, ain't you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I guess we've all heard somethin' about him,&rdquo; laughed Captain Sol; &ldquo;but
+      we're willin' to hear more. He was a reformer, wa'n't he?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He sartin was! Ho! ho!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;For the land sakes, tell it, Bailey,&rdquo; demanded Mr. Gott impatiently.
+      &ldquo;Don't sit there bouncin' and gurglin' and gettin' purple in the face.
+      Tell it, or you'll bust tryin' to keep it in.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Oh, it's a great, long&mdash;&rdquo; began Captain Bailey protestingly.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Go on,&rdquo; urged Phinney. &ldquo;We've got more time than anything else, the most
+      of us. Who was this Stingy Gabe?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; urged Gott, &ldquo;and what did he reform?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Stitt held up a compelling hand. &ldquo;It's all of a piece,&rdquo; he
+      interrupted. &ldquo;It takes in everything, like an eatin'-house stew. And, as
+      usual in them cases, the feller that ordered it didn't know what was
+      comin' to him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Stingy Gabe was that feller. His Sunday name was Gabriel Atkinson Holway,
+      and his dad used to peddle fish from Orham to Denboro and back. The old
+      man was christened Gabriel, likewise. He owed 'most everybody, and,
+      besides, was so mean that he kept the scales and trimmin's of the fish he
+      sold to make chowder for himself and family. All hands called him 'Stingy
+      Gabe,' and the boy inherited the name along with the fifteen hundred
+      dollars that the old man left when he died. He cleared out&mdash;young
+      Gabe did&mdash;soon as the will was settled and afore the outstandin'
+      debts was, and nobody in this latitude see hide nor hair of him till three
+      years ago this comin' spring.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then, lo and behold you! he drops off the parlor car at the Orham station
+      and cruises down to South Orham, bald-headed and bay-windowed, sufferin'
+      from pomp and prosperity. Seems he'd been spendin' his life cornerin'
+      copper out West and then copperin' the corners in Wall Street. The folks
+      in his State couldn't put him in jail, so they sent him to Congress. Now,
+      as the Honorable Atkinson Holway, he'd come back to the Cape to rest his
+      wrist, which had writer's cramp from signin' stock certificates, and to
+      ease his eyes with a sight of the dear old home of his boyhood.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Bill Nickerson comes postin' down to me with the news.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Bailey,' says he, 'what do you think's happened? Stingy Gabe's struck
+      the town.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'For how much?' I asks, anxious. 'Don't let him have it, whatever 'tis.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then he went on to explain. Gabe was rich as all get out, and 'twas his
+      intention to buy back his old man's house and fix it up for a summer home.
+      He was delighted to find how little change there was in South Orham.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No matter if 'tain't but fifteen cents he'll get it, if the s'lectmen
+      don't watch him,' I says; and the bills, too. I know HIS tribe.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You don't understand,' says Nickerson. 'He ain't no thief. He's rich, I
+      tell you, and he's cal'latin' to do the town good.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Course he is,' I says. 'It runs in the family. His dad done it good, too&mdash;good
+      as 'twas ever done, I guess.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But next day Gabe himself happens along, and I see right off that I'd
+      made a mistake in my reckonin'. The Honorable Atkinson Holway wa'n't
+      figgerin' to borrow nothin'. When a chap has been skinnin' halibut,
+      minnows are too small for him to bother with. Gabe was full of fried clams
+      and philanthropy.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'By Jove! Stitt,' he says, 'livin' here has been the dream of my life.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You'll be glad to wake up, won't you?' says I. 'I wish I could.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I tell you,' he says, 'this little old village is all right! All it
+      needs is a public-spirited resident to help it along. I propose to be the
+      P. S. R.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And on that program he started right in. Fust off he bought his dad's old
+      place, built it over into the eight-sided palace that's there now, fetched
+      down a small army of servants skippered by an old housekeeper, and
+      commenced to live simple but complicated. Then, havin' provided the
+      needful charity for himself, he's ready to scatter manna for the starvin'
+      native.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He had a dozen schemes laid out. One was to build a free but expensive
+      library; another was to pave the main road with brick; third was to give
+      stained-glass windows and velvet cushions to the meetin' house, so's the
+      congregation could sleep comfortable in a subdued light. The stained-glass
+      idee put him in close touch with the minister, Reverend Edwin Fisher, and
+      the minister suggested the men's club. And he took to that men's club
+      scheme like an old maid to strong tea; the rest of the improvements went
+      into dry dock to refit while Admiral Gabe got his men's club off the ways.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas the billiard room that made the minister hanker for a men's club.
+      That billiard room was the worry of his life. Old man Jotham Gale run it
+      and had run it sence the Concord fight, in a way of speakin'. You remember
+      his sign, maybe: 'Jotham W. Gale. Billiard, Pool, and Sipio Saloon. Cigars
+      and Tobacco. Tonics and Pipes. Minors under Ten Years of Age not
+      Admitted.' Jotham's customers was called, by the outsiders, 'the
+      billiard-room gang.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The billiard room gang wa'n't the best folks in town, I'll own right up
+      to that. Still, they wa'n't so turrible wicked. Jotham never sold rum, and
+      he'd never allow no rows in his place. But, just the same, his saloon was
+      reckoned a bad influence. Young men hadn't ought to go there&mdash;most of
+      us said that. If there was a nicer place TO go, argues the minister,
+      'twould help the moral tone of the community consider'ble. 'Why not,' says
+      he to Stingy Gabe, 'start a free club for men that'll make the billiard
+      room look like the tail boat in a race?' And says Gabe: 'Bully! I'll do
+      it.'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Stitt paused long enough to enjoy a chuckle all by himself. Before
+      he had quite finished his laugh, slow and reluctant steps were heard on
+      the back platform and Issy appeared on the threshold. He was without the
+      package, but did not look happy.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, Is,&rdquo; inquired the depot master, &ldquo;did you give the remains to the
+      Major?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, sir,&rdquo; answered Issy.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Did you tell him how the shockin' fatality happened? How the thing got
+      broken?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, sir, I told him.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What did he say? Didn't let his angry passions rise, did he?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No-o; no, sir, he didn't rise nothin'. He didn't get mad neither. But you
+      could see he felt pretty bad. Talked about 'old family glass' and
+      'priceless airloons' or some such. Said much as he regretted to, he should
+      feel it no more'n justice to have somebody pay damages.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Humph!&rdquo; Captain Sol looked very grave. &ldquo;Issy, I can see your finish.
+      You'll have to pay for somethin' that's priceless, and how are you goin'
+      to do that? 'Old family glass,' hey? Hum! And I thought I saw the label of
+      a Boston store on that package.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Obed Gott leaned forward eagerly.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Is that Major Hardee you're talkin' about?&rdquo; he asked.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, sir. He's the only Major we've got. Cap'ns are plenty as June bugs,
+      but Majors and Gen'rals are scarce. Why?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Oh, nothin'. Only&mdash;&rdquo; Mr. Gott muttered the remainder of the sentence
+      under his breath. However, the depot master heard it and his eye twinkled.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You're glad of it!&rdquo; he exclaimed. &ldquo;Why, Obed! Major Cuthbertson Scott
+      Hardee! I'm surprised. Better not let the women folks hear you say that.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Look here!&rdquo; cried Captain Stitt, rather tartly, &ldquo;am I goin' to finish
+      that yarn of mine or don't you want to hear it?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;BEG your pardon, Bailey. Go on. The last thing you said was what Stingy
+      Gabe said, and that was&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0003" id="link2HCH0003">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER III
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      &ldquo;STINGY GABE&rdquo;
+     </h3>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And that,&rdquo; said Captain Bailey, mollified by the renewed interest of his
+      listeners, &ldquo;was, 'Bully! I'll do it!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So he calls a meetin' of everybody interested, at his new house. About
+      every respectable man in town was there, includin' me. Most of the
+      billiard-room gang was there, likewise. Jotham, of course, wa'n't invited.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Gabe calls the meetin' to order and the minister makes a speech tellin'
+      about the scheme. 'Our generous and public-spirited citizen, Honorable
+      Atkinson Holway,' had offered to build a suitable clubhouse, fix it up,
+      and donate it to the club, them and their heirs forever, Amen. 'Twas to
+      belong to the members to do what they pleased with&mdash;no strings tied
+      to it at all. Dues would be merely nominal, a dollar a year or some such
+      matter. Now, who favored such a club as that?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, 'most everybody did. Daniel Bassett, chronic politician, justice of
+      the peace, and head of the 'Conservatives' at town meetin', he made a
+      talk, and in comes him and his crew. Gaius Ellis, another chronic, who is
+      postmaster and skipper of the 'Progressives,' had been fidgetin' in his
+      seat, and now up he bobs and says he's for it; then every 'Progressive'
+      jines immediate. But the billiard-roomers; they didn't jine. They looked
+      sort of sheepish, and set still. When Mr. Fisher begun to hint p'inted in
+      their direction, they got up and slid outdoor. And right then I'd ought to
+      have smelt trouble, but I didn't; had a cold in my head, I guess likely.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Next thing was to build the new clubhouse, and Gabe went at it hammer and
+      tongs. He had a big passel of carpenters down from the city, and inside of
+      three months the buildin' was up, and she was a daisy, now I tell you.
+      There was a readin' room and a meetin' room and an 'amusement room.' The
+      amusements was crokinole and parchesi and checkers and the like of that.
+      Also there was a gymnasium and a place where you could play the pianner
+      and sing&mdash;till the sufferin' got acute and somebody come along and
+      abated you.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;When I fust went inside that clubhouse I see 'twas bound to be 'Good-by,
+      Bill,' for Jotham. His customers would shake his ratty old shanty for
+      sartin, soon's they see them elegant new rooms. I swan, if I didn't feel
+      sorry for the old reprobate, and, thinks I, I'll drop around and
+      sympathize a little. Sympathy don't cost nothin', and Jotham's pretty good
+      company.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I found him settin' alongside the peanut roaster, watchin' a couple of
+      patients cruelize the pool table.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hello, Bailey!' says he. 'You surprise me. Ain't you 'fraid of catchin'
+      somethin' in this ha'nt of sin? Have a chair, anyhow. And a cigar, won't
+      you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I took the chair, but I steered off from the cigar, havin' had
+      experience. Told him I guessed I'd use my pipe. He chuckled.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Fur be it from me to find fault with your judgment,' he says. 'Terbacker
+      does smoke better'n anything else, don't it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We set there and puffed for five minutes or so. Then he sort of jumped.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What's up?' says I.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, nothin'!' he says. 'Bije Simmons got a ball in the pocket, that's
+      all. Don't do that too often, Bije; I got a weak heart. Well, Bailey,' he
+      adds, turnin' to me, 'Gabe's club's fixed up pretty fine, ain't it?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Why, yes,' I says; ''tis.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Finest ever I see,' says he. 'I told him so when I was in there.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What?' says I. 'You don't mean to say YOU'VE been in that clubroom?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Sartin. Why not? I want to take in all the shows there is&mdash;'specially
+      the free ones. Make a good billiard room, that clubhouse would.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I whistled. 'Whew!' says I. 'Didn't tell Gabe THAT, did you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He nodded. 'Yup,' says he. 'I told him.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I whistled again. 'What answer did he make?' I asked.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, he wa'n't enthusiastic. Seemed to cal'late I'd better shut up my
+      head and my shop along with it, afore he knocked off one and his club
+      knocked out t'other.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I pitied the old rascal; I couldn't help it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Jotham,' says I, 'I ain't the wust friend you've got in South Orham,
+      even if I don't play pool much. If I was you I'd clear out of here and
+      start somewheres else. You can't fight all the best folks in town.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He didn't make no answer. Just kept on a-puffin'. I got up to go. Then he
+      laid his hand on my sleeve.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Bailey,' says he, 'when Betsy Mayo was ailin', her sister's tribe was
+      all for the Faith Cure and her husband's relations was high for patent
+      medicine. When the Faith Curists got to workin', in would come some of the
+      patent mediciners and give 'em the bounce. And when THEY went home for the
+      night, the Faithers would smash all the bottles. Finally they got so busy
+      fightin' 'mong themselves that Betsy see she was gettin' no better fast,
+      and sent for the reg'lar doctor. HE done the curin', and got the pay.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Well,' says I, 'what of it?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Nothin',' says he. 'Only I've been practisin' a considerable spell. So
+      long. Come in again some time when it's dark and the respectable element
+      can't see you.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I went away thinkin' hard. And next mornin' I hunted up Gabe, and says I:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Mr. Holway,' I says, 'what puzzles me is how you're goin' to elect the
+      officers for the new club. Put up a Conservative and the Progressives
+      resign. H'ist the Progressive ensign and the Conservatives'll mutiny. As
+      for the billiard-roomers&mdash;providin' any jine&mdash;they've never been
+      known to vote for anybody but themselves. I can't see no light yet&mdash;nothin'
+      but fog.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He winks, sly and profound. 'That's all right,' says he. 'Fisher and I
+      have planned that. You watch!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sure enough, they had. The minister was mighty popular, so, when 'twas
+      out that he was candidate to be fust president of the club, all hands was
+      satisfied. Two vice presidents was named&mdash;one bein' Bassett and
+      t'other Ellis. Secretary was a leadin' Conservative; treasurer a head
+      Progressive. Officers and crew was happy and mutiny sunk ten fathoms. ONLY
+      none of the billiard-room gang had jined, and they was the fish we was
+      really tryin' for.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas next March afore one of 'em did come into the net, though we'd have
+      on all kinds of bait&mdash;suppers and free ice cream Saturday nights, and
+      the like of that. And meantime things had been happenin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The fust thing of importance was Gabe's leavin' town. Our Cape winter
+      weather was what fixed him. He stood the no'theasters and Scotch drizzles
+      till January, and then he heads for Key West and comfort. Said his heart
+      still beat warm for his native village, but his feet was froze&mdash;or
+      words similar. He cal'lated to be back in the spring. Then the Reverend
+      Fisher got a call to somewheres in York State, and felt he couldn't afford
+      not to hear it. Nobody blamed him; the salary paid a minister in South
+      Orham is enough to make any feller buy patent ear drums. But that left our
+      men's club without either skipper or pilot, as you might say.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;One week after the farewell sermon, Daniel Bassett drops in casual on me.
+      He was passin' around smoking material lavish and regardless.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Stitt,' says he, 'you've always voted for Conservatism in our local
+      affairs, haven't you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Well,' says I, 'I didn't vote to roof the town hall with a new mortgage,
+      if that's what you mean.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Exactly,' he says. 'Now, our men's club, while not as yet the success we
+      hoped for, has come to be a power for good in our community. It needs for
+      its president a conservative, thoughtful man. Bailey,' he says, 'it has
+      come to my ears that Gaius Ellis intends to run for that office. You know
+      him. As a taxpayer, as a sober, thoughtful citizen, my gorge rises at such
+      insolence. I protest, sir! I protest against&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He was standin' up, makin' gestures with both arms, and he had his
+      town-meetin' voice iled and runnin'. I was too busy to hanker for a stump
+      speech, so I cut across his bows.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'All right, all right,' says I. 'I'll vote for you, Dan.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He fetched a long breath. 'Thank you,' says he. 'Thank you. That makes
+      ten. Ellis can count on no more than nine. My election is assured.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Seein' that there wa'n't but nineteen reg'lar voters who come to the club
+      meetin's, if Bassett had ten of 'em it sartin did look as if he'd get in.
+      But on election night what does Gaius Ellis do but send a wagon after old
+      man Solomon Peavey, who'd been dry docked with rheumatiz for three months,
+      and Sol's vote evened her up. 'Twas ten to ten, a deadlock, and the
+      election was postponed for another week.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;This was of a Tuesday. On Wednesday I met Bije Simmons, the chap who was
+      playin' pool at Jotham's.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hey, Bailey!' says he. 'Shake hands with a brother. I'm goin' to jine
+      the men's club.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You BE?' says I, surprised enough, for Simmons was a billiard-roomer
+      from 'way back.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yup,' he says. 'I'll be voted in at next meetin', sure. I'm studyin' up
+      on parchesi now.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hum!' I says, thinkin'. 'How you goin to vote?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Me?' says he. 'Me? Why, man, I wonder at you! Can't you see the fires of
+      Conservatism blazin' in my eyes? I'm Conservative bred and Conservative
+      born, and when I'm dead there'll be a Conservative gone. By, by. See you
+      Tuesday night.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He went off, stoppin' everybody he met to tell 'em the news. And on
+      Thursday Ed Barnes dropped in to pay me the seventy-five cents he'd
+      borrowed two years ago come Fourth of July. When I'd got over the fust
+      shock and had counted the money three times, I commenced to ask questions.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Somebody die and will you a million, Ed?' I wanted to know.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No,' says he. 'It's the reward of virtue. I'm goin' to be a better man.
+      I'm jinin' the men's club.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'NO!' says I, for Ed was as strong a billiard-roomer as Bije.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Sure!' he answers. 'I'm filled full of desires for crokinole and
+      progressiveness. See you Tuesday night at the meetin'.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And, would you b'lieve it, at that meetin' no less'n six confirmed
+      members of the billiard-room gang was voted into the men's club. 'Twas a
+      hallelujah gatherin'. I couldn't help thinkin' how glad and proud Gabe and
+      Mr. Fisher would have been to see their dreams comin' true. But Bassett
+      and Ellis looked more worried than glad, and when the votin' took place I
+      understood the reason. Them new members had divided even, and the ballots
+      stood Bassett thirteen and Ellis thirteen. The tie was still on and the
+      election was put off for another week.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;In that week, surprisin' as it may seem, two more billiard-roomers seen a
+      light and jined with us. However, one was for Bassett and t'other for
+      Ellis, so the deadlock wa'n't broken. Jotham had only a couple of his
+      reg'lars left, and I swan to man if THEY didn't catch the disease inside
+      of the follerin' fortni't and hand in their names. The 'Billiard, Pool,
+      and Sipio Saloon,' from bein' the liveliest place in town, was now the
+      deadest. Through the window you could see poor Jotham mopin' lonesome
+      among his peanuts and cigars. The sayin' concernin' the hardness of the
+      transgressor's sleddin' was workin' out for HIM, all right. But the
+      conversions had come so sudden that I couldn't understand it, though I did
+      have some suspicions.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Look here, Dan,' says I to Bassett, 'are you goin' to keep this up till
+      judgment? There ain't but thirty votin' names in this place&mdash;except
+      the chaps off fishin', and they won't be back till fall. Fifteen is for
+      you and fifteen for Gaius. Most astonishin' agreement of difference ever I
+      see. We'll never have a president, at this rate.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He winked. 'Won't, hey?' he says. 'Sure you've counted right? I make it
+      thirty-one.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I don't see how,' says I, puzzled. 'Nobody's left outside the club but
+      Jotham himself, and he&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'That's all right,' he interrupts, winkin' again. 'You be on hand next
+      Tuesday night. You can't always tell, maybe somethin'll happen.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I was on hand, all right, and somethin' did happen, two somethin's, in
+      fact. We hadn't much more'n got in our seats afore the door opened, and in
+      walked Gaius Ellis, arm in arm with a man; and the man was the Honorable
+      Stingy Gabe Atkinson Holway.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Gentlemen,' sings out Gaius, bubblin' over with joy, 'I propose three
+      cheers for our founder, who has returned to us after his long absence.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We give the cheers&mdash;that is, some of the folks did. Bassett and our
+      gang wa'n't cheerin' much; they looked as if somebody had passed 'em a
+      counterfeit note. You see, Gabe Holway was one of the hide-boundest
+      Progressives afloat, and a blind man could see who'd got him back again
+      and which way he'd vote. It sartinly looked bad for Bassett now.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Gaius proposes that, out of compliment, as founder of the club, Mr.
+      Holway be asked to preside. So he was asked, though the Conservatives
+      wa'n't very enthusiastic. Gabe took the chair, preached a little sermon
+      about bein' glad to see his native home once more, and raps for order.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'If there's no other business afore the meetin',' says he, 'we will
+      proceed to ballot for president.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But it turned out that there was other business. Dan Bassett riz to his
+      feet and commenced one of the most feelin' addresses ever I listened to.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Fust he congratulated all hands upon the success of Mr. Holway's
+      philanthropic scheme for the betterment of South Orham's male citizens.
+      Jeered at at fust by the unregenerate, it had gone on, winnin' its way
+      into the hearts of the people, until one by one the said unregenerate had
+      regenerated, and now the club numbered thirty souls and the Honorable
+      Atkinson.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But,' says Dan, wavin' his arms, 'one man yet remains outside. One lone
+      man! The chief sinner, you say? Yes, I admit it. But, gentlemen, a
+      repentant sinner. Alone he sits amid the wreck of his business&mdash;a
+      business wrecked by us, gentlemen&mdash;without a customer, without a
+      friend. Shall it be said that the free and open-handed men's club of South
+      Orham turned its back upon one man, merely because he HAS been what he
+      was? Gentlemen, I have talked with Jotham Gale; he is old, he is
+      friendless, he no longer has a means of livelihood&mdash;we have taken it
+      from him. We have turned his followers' steps to better paths. Shall we
+      not turn his, also? Gentlemen and friends, Jotham Gale is repentant, he
+      feels his ostrichism'&mdash;whatever he meant by that&mdash;'he desires to
+      become self-respecting, and he asks us to help him. He wishes to join this
+      club. Gentlemen, I propose for membership in our association the name of
+      Jotham W. Gale.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He set down and mopped his face. And the powwow that broke loose was
+      somethin' tremendous. Of course 'twas plain enough what Dan's game was.
+      This was the 'somethin'' that was goin' to happen.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ellis see the way the land lay, and he bounces up to protest. 'Twas an
+      outrage; a scandal; ridiculous; and so forth, and so on. Poor Gabe didn't
+      know what to do, and so he didn't do nothin'. A head Conservative seconds
+      Jotham's nomination. 'Twas put to a vote and carried easy. Dan's speech
+      had had its effect and a good many folks voted out of sympathy. How did I
+      vote? I'LL never tell you.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And then Bassett gets up, smilin', goes to the outside door, opens it,
+      and leads in the new member. He'd been waitin' on the steps, it turned
+      out. Jotham looked mighty quiet and meek. I pitied the poor old codger
+      more'n ever. Snaked in, he was, out of the wet, like a yeller dog, by the
+      club that had kicked him out of his own shop.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Chairman Gabe pounds for order, and suggests that the votin' can go on.
+      But Ellis jumps up, and says he:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What's the sense of votin' now?' he asks sarcastic. 'Will the lost lamb
+      we've just yanked into the fold have the face to stand up and bleat that
+      he hasn't promised to vote Conservative? Dan Bassett, of all the
+      contemptible tricks that ever&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Bassett's face was redder'n a ripe tomatter. He shakes his fist in
+      Gaius's face and yells opinions and comments.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Don't you talk to me about tricks, you ward-heeler!' he hollers. 'Why
+      did you fetch Mr. Holway back home? Why did you, hey? That was the
+      trickiest trick that I&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Gabe pretty nigh broke his mallet thumpin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Gentlemen! gentlemen!' says he. 'This is most unseemly. Sit down, if you
+      PLEASE. Mr. Ellis, when the purpose of this association is considered, it
+      seems to me very wrong to find fault because the chief of our former
+      antagonists has seen the error of his ways and become one of us. Mr.
+      Bassett, I do not understand your intimation concernin' myself. I shall
+      adjourn this meetin' until next Friday evenin', gentlemen. Meanwhile, let
+      us remember that we ARE gentlemen.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He thumped the desk once, and parades out of the buildin', dignified as
+      Julius Caesar. The rest of us toddled along after him, all talkin' at
+      once. Bassett and Ellis glowered at each other and hove out hints about
+      what would happen afore they got through. 'Twas half-past ten afore I got
+      to bed that night, and Sarah J.&mdash;that's Mrs. Stitt&mdash;kept me
+      awake another hour explainin' whys and wherefores.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;For the next three days nobody done anything but knock off work and talk
+      club politics. You'd see 'em on the corners and in the post office and
+      camped on the meetin'-house steps, arguin' and jawin'. Dan and Gaius was
+      hurryin' around, moppin' their foreheads and lookin' worried. On Thursday
+      there was all sorts of rumors afloat. Finally they all simmered down to
+      one, and that one was what made me stop Stingy Gabe on the street and ask
+      for my bearin's.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Mr. Holway,' says I, 'is it true that Dan and Gaius have resigned and
+      agreed to vote for somebody else?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He nodded, grand and complacent.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Then who's the somebody?' says I. 'For the land sakes! tell me. It's as
+      big a miracle as the prodigal son.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I remember now that the prodigal son ain't a miracle, but I was excited
+      then.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Stitt,' says he, 'I am the &ldquo;somebody,&rdquo; as you call it. I have decided to
+      let my own wishes and inclinations count for nothin' in this affair, and
+      to accept the office of president myself. It will be announced at the
+      meetin'.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I whistled. 'By gum!' says I. 'You've got a great head, Mr. Holway, and I
+      give you public credit for it. It's the only course that ain't full of
+      breakers. Did you think of it yourself?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He colored up a little. 'Why, no, not exactly,' he says. 'The fact is,
+      the credit belongs to our new member, Mr. Gale.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'To JOTHAM?' says I, astonished.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes. He suggested my candidacy, as a compromise. Said that he, for one,
+      would be proud to vote for me. Mr. Gale seems thoroughly repentant, a
+      changed man. I am counting on him for great things in the future.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So the fuss seemed settled, thanks to the last person on earth you'd
+      expect would be peacemaker. But that afternoon I met Darius Tompkins,
+      Bassett's right-hand man.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Bailey,' says he, 'you're a Conservative, ain't you? You're for Dan
+      through thick and thin?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Why!' says I, 'I understand Dan and Gaius are both out of it now, and
+      it's settled on Holway. Dan's promised to vote for him.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'HE has,' says Tompkins, with a wink, 'but the rest of us ain't. We
+      pledged our votes to Dan Bassett, and we ain't the kind to go back on our
+      word. Dan himself'll vote for Gabe; so'll Gaius and his reg'lar tribe.
+      That'll make twelve, countin' Holway's own.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Make seventeen, you mean,' says I. 'Gaius and his crowd's fifteen and
+      Dan's sixteen and Gabe's seven&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He winked again, and interrupted me. 'You're countin' wrong, my boy,'
+      says he. 'Five of Gaius's folks come from the old billiard-room gang. Just
+      suppose somethin' happened to make that five vote, on the quiet, for
+      Bassett. Then&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;A customer come in then, and Tompkins had to leave; but afore he went he
+      got me to one side and whispers:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Keep mum, old man, and vote straight for Dan. We'll show old Holway that
+      we can't be led around by the nose.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Tompkins,' says I, 'I know your head well enough to be sartin that it
+      didn't work this out by itself. And why are you so sure of the billiard
+      roomers? Who put you up to this?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He rapped the side of his nose. 'The smartest politician in this town,'
+      says he, 'and the oldest&mdash;J. W. Gale, Esq.! S-s-sh-h! Don't say
+      nothin'.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I didn't say nothin'. I was past talk. And that evenin' as I went past
+      the billiard room on my way home, who should come out of it but Gaius
+      Ellis, and HE looked as happy as Tompkins had.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Friday night that clubroom was filled. Every member was there, and most
+      of 'em had fetched their wives and families along to see the fun. There
+      was whisperin' and secrecy everywheres. Honorable Gabe took the chair and
+      makes announcements that the shebang is open for business.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Up gets Dave Bassett and all but sheds tears. He says that he made up his
+      mind to vote, not for himself, but for the founder and patron of the club,
+      the Honorable Atkinson Holway. He spread it over Gabe thick as sugar on a
+      youngster's cake. And when he set down all hands applauded like fury. But
+      I noticed that he hadn't spoke for nary Conservative but himself.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then Gaius Ellis rises and sobs similar. He's stopped votin' for himself,
+      too. His ballot is for that grand and good man, Gabriel Atkinson Holway,
+      Esq. More applause and hurrahs.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And then who should get up but Jotham Gale. He talks humble, like a
+      has-been that knows he's a back number, but he says it's his privilege to
+      cast his fust vote in that club for Mr. Holway, South Orham's pride.
+      Nobody was expectin' him to say anything, and the cheers pretty nigh broke
+      the winders.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Gabe was turrible affected by the soft soap, you could see that. He
+      fairly sobbed as he sprinkled gratitude and acceptances. When the agony
+      was over, he says the votin' can begin.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I cal'lated he expected somebody'd move to make it unanimous, but they
+      didn't. So the blank ballots was handed around, and the pencils got busy.
+      Gabe app'ints three tellers, Bassett and Ellis, of course, for two&mdash;and
+      the third, Jotham Gale.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'As a compliment to our newest member,' says the chairman, smilin'
+      philanthropic.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;When the votes was in the hat, the tellers retired to the amusement room
+      to count up. It took a long time. I see the Conservatives and Progressives
+      nudgin' each other and winkin' back and forth. Five minutes, then ten,
+      then fifteen.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And all of a sudden the biggest row bu'st loose in that amusement room
+      that ever you heard. Rattlety&mdash;bang! Biff! Smash! The door flew open,
+      and in rolled Bassett and Ellis, all legs and arms. Gabe and some of the
+      rest hauled 'em apart and held 'em so, but the language them two hove at
+      each other was enough to bring down a judgment.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Gentlemen! gentlemen!' hollers poor Gabe. 'What in the world? I am
+      astounded! I&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You miserable traitor!' shrieks Gaius, wavin' a fist at Dan.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You low-down hound!' whoops Dan back at him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Silence!' bellers Gabe, poundin' thunder storms on the desk. 'Will some
+      one explain why these maniacs are&mdash;Ah, Mr. Gale&mdash;thank goodness,
+      YOU at least are sane!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Jotham walks to the front of the platform. He was holdin' the hat and a
+      slip of paper with the result set down on it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Ladies and feller members,' says he, 'there's been some surprisin'
+      votin' done in this election. Things ain't gone as we cal'lated they
+      would, somehow. Mr. Holway, your election wa'n't unanimous, after all.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The way he said it made most everybody think Gabe was elected, anyhow,
+      and I guess Holway thought so himself, for he smiled forgivin' and says:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Never mind, Mr. Gale,' says he. 'A unanimous vote was perhaps too much
+      to expect. Go on.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes,' says Jotham. 'Well, here's the way it stands. I'll read it to
+      you.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He fixes his specs and reads like this:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Number of votes cast, 32.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Honorable Atkinson Holway has 4.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'WHAT?' gasps Stingy Gabe, fallin' into his chair.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes, sir,' says Jotham. 'It's a shame, I know, but it looks as nobody
+      voted for you, Mr. Holway, but yourself and me and Dan and Gaius. To
+      proceed:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Daniel Bassett has 9.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The Conservatives and their women folks fairly groaned out loud. Tompkins
+      jumped to his feet, but Jotham held up a hand.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Just a moment, D'rius,' he says. 'I ain't through yet.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Gaius Ellis has 9.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then 'twas the Progressives' turn to groan. The racket and hubbub was
+      gettin' louder all the time.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'There's ten votes left,' goes on Jotham, 'and they bear the name of
+      Jotham W. Gale. I can't understand it, but it does appear that I'm elected
+      president of this 'ere club. Gentlemen, I thank you for the honor, which
+      is as great as 'tis unexpected.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Gabe and the Progressives and the Conservatives set and looked at each
+      other. And up jumps 'Bije Simmons, and calls for three cheers for the new
+      president.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Nobody jined in them cheers but the old billiard room gang; they did,
+      though, every one of 'em, and Jotham smiled fatherly down on his flock.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I s'pose there ain't no need of explainin'. Jotham had worked it all,
+      from the very fust. When the tie business begun and Gaius and Dan was
+      bribin' the billiard roomers to jine the club, 'twas him that fixed how
+      they should vote so's to keep the deadlock goin'. 'Twas him that put
+      Bassett up to proposin' him as a member. 'Twas him that suggested Gabe's
+      comin' back to Gaius. 'Twas him that&mdash;But what's the use? 'Twas him
+      all along. He was IT.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That night everybody but the billiard-room gang sent in their resignation
+      to that club. We refused to be bossed by such people. Gabe resigned, too.
+      He was disgusted with East Harniss and all hands in it. He'd have took
+      back the clubhouse, but he couldn't, as the deed of gift was free and
+      clear. But he swore he'd never give it another cent.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Folks thought that would end the thing, because it wouldn't be
+      self-supportin', but Jotham had different idees. He simply moved his pool
+      tables and truck up from the old shop, and now he's got the finest place
+      of the kind on the Cape, rent free.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I told you 'twould make a good billiard saloon, didn't I, Bailey?' he
+      says, chucklin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Jotham,' says I, 'of your kind you're a perfect wonder.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Well,' says he, 'I diagnosed that men's club as sufferin' from acute
+      politics. I've been doctorin' that disease for a long time. The trouble
+      with you reformers,' he adds, solemn, 'is that, when it comes to political
+      doin's, you ain't practical.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;As for Stingy Gabe, he shut up his fine house and moved to New York. Said
+      he was through with helpin' the moral tone.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'When I die,' he says to me, 'if I go to the bad place I may start in
+      reformin' that. It don't need it no more'n South Orham does, but 'twill be
+      enough sight easier job.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And,&rdquo; concluded Captain Stitt, as soon as he could be heard above the
+      &ldquo;Haw! haws!&rdquo; caused by the Honorable Holway's final summing-up of his
+      native town, &ldquo;I ain't so sure that he was greatly mistook. What do you
+      think, Sol?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The depot master shook his head. &ldquo;Don't know, Bailey,&rdquo; he answered, dryly.
+      &ldquo;I'll have to visit both places 'fore I give an opinion. I HAVE been to
+      South Orham, but the neighborhood that your friend Gabe compared it to I
+      ain't seen&mdash;yet. I put on that 'yet,'&rdquo; he added, with a wink, &ldquo;'cause
+      I knew Sim Phinney would if I didn't.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Bailey rose and covered a yawn with a plump hand.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I believe I'll go over to Obed's and turn in,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;I'm sleepy as a
+      minister's horse tonight. You don't mind, do you, Obed?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No-o,&rdquo; replied Mr. Gott, slowly. &ldquo;No, I don't, 'special. I kind of
+      thought I'd run into the club a few minutes and see some of the other
+      fellers. But it ain't important&mdash;not very.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The &ldquo;club&rdquo; was one of the rooms over Mr. Higgins's store and post office.
+      It had been recently fitted up with chairs and tables from its members'
+      garrets and, when the depot and store were closed, was a favorite
+      gathering place of those reckless ones who cared to &ldquo;set up late&rdquo;&mdash;that
+      is, until eleven o'clock. Most of the men in town belonged, but many,
+      Captain Berry among them, visited the room but seldom.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Checkers,&rdquo; said the depot master, referring to the &ldquo;club's&rdquo; favorite
+      game, &ldquo;is too deliberately excitin' for me. To watch Beriah Higgins and
+      Ezra Weeks fightin' out a game of checkers is like gettin' your feet froze
+      in January and waitin' for spring to come and thaw 'em out. It's a numbin'
+      kind of dissipation.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      But Obed Gott was a regular attendant at the &ldquo;club,&rdquo; and to-night he had a
+      particular reason for wishing to be there. His cousin noticed his
+      hesitation and made haste to relieve his mind.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That's all right, Obed,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;go to the club, by all means. I ain't
+      such a stranger at your house that I can't find my way to bed without
+      help. Good-night, Sim. Good-night, Issy. Cheer up; maybe the Major's
+      glassware IS priceless. So long, Cap'n Sol. See you again some time
+      tomorrer.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He and Mr. Gott departed. The depot master rose from his chair. &ldquo;Issy,&rdquo; he
+      commanded, &ldquo;shut up shop.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy obeyed, closing the windows and locking the front door. Captain Sol
+      himself locked the ticket case and put the cash till into the small safe.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That'll do, Is,&rdquo; said the Captain. &ldquo;Good-night. Don't worry too much over
+      the Major's glass. I'll talk with him, myself. You dream about pleasanter
+      things&mdash;your girl, if you've got one.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      That was a chance shot, but it struck Issy in the heart. Even during his
+      melancholy progress to and from Major Hardee's, the vision of Gertie
+      Higgins had danced before his greenish-blue eyes. His freckles were
+      engulfed in a surge of blushes as, with a stammered &ldquo;Night, Cap'n Berry,&rdquo;
+       he hurried out into the moonlight.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The depot master blew out the lamps. &ldquo;Come on, Sim,&rdquo; he said, briefly.
+      &ldquo;Goin' to walk up with me, or was YOU goin' to the club?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Cal'late I'll trot along with you, if you don't mind. I'd just as soon
+      get home early and wrastle with the figures on that Williams movin' job.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      They left the depot, locked and dark, passed the &ldquo;general store,&rdquo; where
+      Mr. Higgins was putting out his lights prior to adjournment to the &ldquo;club&rdquo;
+       overhead, walked up Main Street to Cross Street, turned and began climbing
+      the hill. Simeon spoke several times but his friend did not answer. A
+      sudden change had come over him. The good spirits with which he told of
+      his adventure with Williams and which had remained during Phinney's stay
+      at the depot, were gone, apparently. His face, in the moonlight, was grave
+      and he strode on, his hands in his pockets.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      At the crest of the hill he stopped.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Good-night, Sim,&rdquo; he said, shortly, and, turning, walked off.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The building mover gazed after him in surprise. The nearest way to the
+      Berry home was straight down Cross Street, on the other side of the hill,
+      to the Shore Road, and thence along that road for an eighth of a mile. The
+      Captain's usual course was just that. But to-night he had taken the long
+      route, the Hill Boulevard, which made a wide curve before it descended to
+      the road below.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Sim, who had had a shrewd suspicion concerning his friend's silence and
+      evident mental disturbance, stood still, looking and wondering. Olive
+      Edwards, Captain Berry's old sweetheart, lived on the Boulevard. She was
+      in trouble and the Captain knew it. He had asked, that very evening, what
+      she was going to do when forced to move. Phinney could not tell him. Had
+      he gone to find out for himself? Was the mountain at last coming to
+      Mohammed?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      For some minutes Simeon remained where he was, thinking and surmising.
+      Then he, too, turned and walked cautiously up the Boulevard. He passed the
+      Williams mansion, its library windows ablaze. He passed the twenty-five
+      room &ldquo;cottage&rdquo; of the gentleman from Chicago. Then he halted. Opposite him
+      was the little Edwards dwelling and shop. The curtains were up and there
+      was a lamp burning on the small counter. Beside the lamp, in a rocking
+      chair, sat Olive Edwards, the widow, sewing. As he gazed she dropped the
+      sewing in her lap, and raised her head.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Phinney saw how worn and sad she looked. And yet, how young, considering
+      her forty years and all she had endured and must endure. She put her hand
+      over her eyes, then removed it wearily. A lump came in Simeon's throat. If
+      he might only help her; if SOME ONE might help her in her lonely misery.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And then, from where he stood in the shadow of the Chicago gentleman's
+      hedge, he saw a figure step from the shadows fifty feet farther on. It was
+      Captain Solomon Berry. He walked to the middle of the road and halted,
+      looking in at Olive. Phinney's heart gave a jump. Was the Captain going
+      into that house, going to HER, after all these years? WAS the mountain&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      But no. For a full minute the depot master stood, looking in at the woman
+      by the lamp. Then he jammed his hands into his pockets, wheeled, and
+      tramped rapidly off toward his home. Simeon Phinney went home, also, but
+      it was with a heavy heart that he sat down to figure the cost of moving
+      the Williams &ldquo;pure Colonial&rdquo; to its destined location.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0004" id="link2HCH0004">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER IV
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      THE MAJOR
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      The depot master and his friend, Mr. Phinney, were not the only ones whose
+      souls were troubled that evening. Obed Gott, as he stood at the foot of
+      the stairs leading to the meeting place of the &ldquo;club,&rdquo; was vexed and
+      worried. His cousin, Captain Stitt, had gone into the house and up to his
+      room, and Obed, after seeing him safely on his way, had returned to the
+      club. But, instead of entering immediately, he stood in the Higgins
+      doorway, thinking, and frowning as he thought. And the subject of his
+      thought was the idol of feminine East Harniss, the &ldquo;old-school gentleman,&rdquo;
+       Major Cuthbertson Scott Hardee.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Major first came to East Harniss one balmy morning in March&mdash;came,
+      and created an immediate sensation. &ldquo;Redny&rdquo; Blount, who drives the &ldquo;depot
+      wagon,&rdquo; was wrestling with a sample trunk belonging to the traveling
+      representative of Messrs. Braid &amp; Gimp, of Boston, when he heard a
+      voice&mdash;and such a voice&mdash;saying:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Pardon me, my dear sir, but may I trouble you for one moment?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Now &ldquo;Redny&rdquo; was not used to being addressed as &ldquo;my dear sir.&rdquo; He turned
+      wonderingly, and saw the Major, in all his glory, standing beside him.
+      &ldquo;Redny's&rdquo; gaze took in the tall, slim figure in the frock coat tightly
+      buttoned; took in the white hair, worn just long enough to touch the
+      collar of the frock coat; the long, drooping white mustache and imperial;
+      the old-fashioned stock and open collar; the black and white checked
+      trousers; the gaiters; and, last of all, the flat brimmed, carefully
+      brushed, old-fashioned silk hat. Mr. Blount gasped.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Huh?&rdquo; he said.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Pardon me, my dear sir,&rdquo; repeated the Major, blandly, smoothly, and with
+      an air of&mdash;well, not condescension, but gracious familiarity. &ldquo;Will
+      you be so extremely kind as to inform me concerning the most direct route
+      to the hotel or boarding house?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The word &ldquo;hotel&rdquo; was the only part of this speech that struck home to
+      &ldquo;Redny's&rdquo; awed mind.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hotel?&rdquo; he repeated, slowly. &ldquo;Why, yes, sir. I'm goin' right that way. If
+      you'll git right into my barge I'll fetch you there in ten minutes.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      There was enough in this reply, and the manner in which it was delivered,
+      to have furnished the station idlers, in the ordinary course of events,
+      with matter for gossip and discussion for a week. Mr. Blount had not
+      addressed a person as &ldquo;sir&rdquo; since he went to school. But no one thought of
+      this; all were too much overcome by the splendor of the Major's presence.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Thank you,&rdquo; replied the Major. &ldquo;Thank you. I am obliged to you, sir.
+      Augustus, you may place the baggage in this gentleman's conveyance.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Augustus was an elderly negro, very black as to face and a trifle shabby
+      as to clothes, but with a shadow of his master's gentility, like a
+      reflected luster, pervading his person. He bowed low, departed, and
+      returned dragging a large, old style trunk, and carrying a plump valise.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Augustus,&rdquo; said the Major, &ldquo;you may sit upon the seat with the driver.
+      That is,&rdquo; he added, courteously, &ldquo;if Mr.&mdash;Mr.&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Blount,&rdquo; prompted the gratified &ldquo;Redny.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;If Mr. Blount will be good enough to permit you to do so.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Why, sartin. Jump right up. Giddap, you!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      There was but one passenger, besides the Major and Augustus, in the &ldquo;depot
+      wagon&rdquo; that morning. This passenger was Mrs. Polena Ginn, who had been to
+      Brockton on a visit. To Mrs. Polena the Major, raising his hat in a manner
+      that no native of East Harniss could acquire by a lifetime of teaching,
+      observed that it was a beautiful morning. The flustered widow replied that
+      it &ldquo;was so.&rdquo; This was the beginning of a conversation that lasted until
+      the &ldquo;Central House&rdquo; was reached, a conversation that left Polena impressed
+      with the idea that her new acquaintance was as near the pink of perfection
+      as mortal could be.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It wa'n't his clothes, nuther,&rdquo; she told her brother, Obed Gott, as they
+      sat at the dinner table. &ldquo;I don't know what 'twas, but you could jest see
+      that he was a gentleman all over. I wouldn't wonder if he was one of them
+      New York millionaires, like Mr. Williams&mdash;but SO different. 'Redny'
+      Blount says he see his name onto the hotel register and 'twas 'Cuthbertson
+      Scott Hardee.' Ain't that a tony name for you? And his darky man called
+      him 'Major.' I never see sech manners on a livin' soul! Obed, I DO wish
+      you'd stop eatin' pie with a knife.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Under these pleasing circumstances did Major Cuthbertson Scott Hardee make
+      his first appearance in East Harniss, and the reputation spread abroad by
+      Mr. Blount and Mrs. Ginn was confirmed as other prominent citizens met
+      him, and fell under the spell. In two short weeks he was the most popular
+      and respected man in the village. The Methodist minister said, at the
+      Thursday evening sociable, that &ldquo;Major Hardee is a true type of the
+      old-school gentleman,&rdquo; whereupon Beriah Higgins, who was running for
+      selectman, and therefore felt obliged to be interested in all educational
+      matters, asked whereabouts that school was located, and who was teaching
+      it now.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      It was a treat to see the Major stroll down Main Street to the post office
+      every pleasant spring morning. Coat buttoned tight, silk hat the veriest
+      trifle on one side, one glove on and its mate carried with the cane in the
+      other hand, and the buttonhole bouquet&mdash;always the bouquet&mdash;as
+      fresh and bright and jaunty as its wearer himself.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      It seemed that every housekeeper whose dwelling happened to be situated
+      along that portion of the main road had business in the front yard at the
+      time of the Major's passing. There were steps to be swept, or rugs to be
+      shaken, or doorknobs to be polished just at that particular time.
+      Dialogues like the following interrupted the triumphal progress at three
+      minute intervals:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Good-morning, Mrs. Sogberry. GOOD-morning. A delightful morning. Busy as
+      the proverbial bee once more, I see. I can never cease to admire the
+      industry and model neatness of the Massachusetts housekeeper. And how is
+      your charming daughter this morning? Better, I trust?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, now, Major Hardee, I don't know. Abbie ain't so well's I wish she
+      was. She set up a spell yesterday, but the doctor says she ain't gittin'
+      along the way she'd ought to. I says to him, s'I, 'Abbie ain't never what
+      you'd call a reel hearty eater, but, my land! when she don't eat NOTHIN','
+      I says&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      And so on and so on, with the Major always willing to listen, always
+      sympathetic, and always so charmingly courteous.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Central House, East Harniss's sole hotel, and a very small one at
+      that, closed its doors on April 10th. Mr. Godfrey, its proprietor, had
+      come to the country for his health. He had been inveigled, by an
+      advertisement in a Boston paper, into buying the Central House at East
+      Harniss. It would afford him, so he reasoned, light employment and a
+      living. The employment was light enough, but the living was lighter. He
+      kept the Central House for a year. Then he gave it up as a bad job and
+      returned to the city. &ldquo;I might keep my health if I stayed,&rdquo; he admitted,
+      in explaining his position to Captain Berry, &ldquo;but if I want to keep to
+      what little money I have left, I'd better go. Might as well die of disease
+      as starvation.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Everyone expected that the &ldquo;gentleman of the old school&rdquo; would go also,
+      but one evening Abner Payne, whose business is &ldquo;real estate, fire and life
+      insurance, justice of the peace, and houses to let and for sale,&rdquo; rushed
+      into the post office to announce that the Major had leased the &ldquo;Gorham
+      place,&rdquo; furnished, and intended to make East Harniss his home.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He likes the village so well he's goin' to stay here always,&rdquo; explained
+      Abner. &ldquo;Says he's been all 'round the world, but he never see a place he
+      liked so well's he does East Harniss. How's that for high, hey? And you
+      callin' it a one-horse town, Obed Gott!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The Major moved into the &ldquo;Gorham place&rdquo; the next morning. It&mdash;the
+      &ldquo;place&rdquo;&mdash;was an old-fashioned house on the hill, though not on Mr.
+      Williams' &ldquo;Boulevard.&rdquo; It had been one of the finest mansions in town once
+      on a time, but had deteriorated rapidly since old Captain Elijah Gorham
+      died. Augustus carried the Major's baggage from the hotel to the house.
+      This was done very early and none of the natives saw the transfer. There
+      was some speculation as to how the darky managed to carry the big trunk
+      single-handed; one of two persons asked Augustus this very question, but
+      they received no satisfactory answer. Augustus was habitually
+      close-mouthed. Mr. Godfrey left town that same morning on the first train.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Major christened his new home &ldquo;Silver-leaf Hall,&rdquo; because of two great
+      &ldquo;silver-leaf&rdquo; trees that stood by the front door. He had some repairing,
+      paper hanging and painting done, ordered a big stock of groceries from the
+      local dealer, and showed by his every action that his stay in East Harniss
+      was to be a lengthy one. He hired a pew in the Methodist church, and
+      joined the &ldquo;club.&rdquo; Augustus did the marketing for &ldquo;Silver-leaf Hall,&rdquo; and
+      had evidently been promoted to the position of housekeeper.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Major moved in April. It was now the third week in June and his
+      popularity was, if possible, more pronounced than ever. On this
+      particular, the evening of Captain Bailey Stitt's unexpected arrival, Obed
+      had been sitting by the tea table in his dining room after supper, going
+      over the account books of his paint, paper, and oil store. His sister,
+      Mrs. Polena Ginn, was washing dishes in the kitchen.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Wat's that letter you're readin', Obed?&rdquo; she called from her post by the
+      sink.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Nothin',&rdquo; said her brother, gruffly, crumpling up the sheet of note paper
+      and jamming it into his pocket.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;My sakes! you're shorter'n pie crust to-night. What's the matter?
+      Anything gone wrong at the store?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Silence again, only broken by the clatter of dishes. Then Polena said:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Obed, when are you goin' to take me up to the clubroom so's I can see
+      that picture of Major Hardee that he presented the club with? Everybody
+      says it's just lovely. Sarah T. says it's perfectly elegant, only not
+      quite so handsome as the Major reelly is. She says it don't flatter him
+      none.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Humph! Anybody'd think Hardee was some kind of a wonder, the way you
+      women folks go on 'bout him. How do you know but what he might be a
+      reg'lar fraud? Looks ain't everything.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, I never! Obed Gott, I should think you'd be 'shamed of yourself,
+      talkin' that way. I shan't speak another word to you to-night. I never see
+      you act so unlikely. An old fraud! The idea! That grand, noble man!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Obed tried to make some sort of half-hearted apology, but his sister
+      wouldn't listen to it. Polena's dignity was touched. She was a woman of
+      consequence in East Harniss, was Polena. Her husband had, at his death,
+      left her ten thousand dollars in her own right, and she owned bonds and
+      had money in the Wellmouth Bank. Nobody, not even her brother, was allowed
+      to talk to her in that fashion.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      To tell the truth, Obed was sorry he had offended his sister. He had been
+      throwing out hints of late as to the necessity of building an addition to
+      the paint and oil store, and had cast a longing look upon a portion of
+      Polena's ten thousand. The lady had not promised to extend the financial
+      aid, but she had gone so far as to say she would think about it. So Obed
+      regretted his insinuations against the Major's integrity.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      After a while he threw the account books upon the top of the chest of
+      drawers, put on his hat and coat and announced that he was going over to
+      the depot for a &ldquo;spell.&rdquo; Polena did not deign to reply, so, after
+      repeating the observation, he went out and slammed the door.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Now, two hours later, as he stood in the doorway of the club, he was
+      debating what he should do in a certain matter. That matter concerned
+      Major Hardee and was, therefore, an extremely delicate one. At length Mr.
+      Gott climbed the narrow stairs and entered the clubroom. It was blue with
+      tobacco smoke.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The six or eight members present hailed him absently and went on with
+      their games of checkers or &ldquo;seven-up.&rdquo; He attempted a game of checkers and
+      lost, which did not tend to make his temper any sweeter. His ill nature
+      was so apparent that Beriah Higgins, who suffered from dyspepsia and
+      consequent ill temper, finally commented upon it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What's the matter with you, Obed?&rdquo; he asked tartly. &ldquo;Too much of P'lena's
+      mince pie?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; grunted Mr. Gott shortly.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What is it, then? Ain't paint sellin' well?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sellin' well 'nough. I could sell a hundred ton of paint to-morrow,
+      more'n likely, but when it come to gittin' the money for it, that would be
+      another story. If folks would pay their bills there wouldn't be no
+      trouble.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Who's stuck you now?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I don't s'pose anybody has, but it's just as bad when they don't pay up.
+      I've got to have money to keep a-goin' with. It don't make no diff'rence
+      if it's as good a customer as Major Hardee; he ought to remember that we
+      ain't all rich like him and&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      A general movement among all the club members interrupted him. The checker
+      players left their boards and came over; the &ldquo;seven-up&rdquo; devotees dropped
+      their cards and joined the circle.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What was that you said?&rdquo; asked Higgins, uneasily. &ldquo;The Major owin' you
+      money, was it?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Oh, course I know he's all right and a fine man and all that,&rdquo; protested
+      Obed, feeling himself put on the defensive. &ldquo;But that ain't it. What's a
+      feller goin' to do when he needs the money and gets a letter like that?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He drew the crumpled sheet of note paper from his pocket, and threw it on
+      the table. Higgins picked it up and read it aloud, as follows:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      SILVERLEAF HALL, June 20th.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      MY DEAR MR. GOTT: I am in receipt of your courteous communication of
+      recent date. I make it an unvarying rule to keep little ready money here
+      in East Harniss, preferring rather to let it remain at interest in the
+      financial institutions of the cities. Another rule of mine, peculiar, I
+      dare say&mdash;even eccentric, if you like&mdash;is never to pay by check.
+      I am expecting remittances from my attorneys, however, and will then bear
+      you in mind. Again thanking you for your courtesy, and begging you to
+      extend to your sister my kindest regards, I remain, my dear sir,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Yours very respectfully,
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      CUTHBERTSON SCOTT HARDEE.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      P. S.&mdash;I shall be delighted to have the pleasure of entertaining your
+      sister and yourself at dinner at the hall on any date agreeable to you.
+      Kindly let me hear from you regarding this at your earliest convenience. I
+      must insist upon this privilege, so do not disappoint me, I beg.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The reception accorded this most gentlemanly epistle was peculiar. Mr.
+      Higgins laid it upon the table and put his hand into his own pocket. So
+      did Ezra Weeks, the butcher; Caleb Small, the dry goods dealer; &ldquo;Hen&rdquo;
+       Leadbetter, the livery stable keeper; &ldquo;Bash&rdquo; Taylor, the milkman, and
+      three or four others. And, wonder of wonders, each produced a sheet of
+      note paper exactly like Obed's.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      They spread them out on the table. The dates were, of course, different,
+      and they differed in other minor particulars, but in the main they were
+      exactly alike. And each one of them ended with an invitation to dinner.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The members of the club looked at each other in amazement. Higgins was the
+      first to speak.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Godfrey mighty!&rdquo; he exclaimed. &ldquo;Say, this is funny, ain't it? It's more'n
+      funny; it's queer! By jimmy, it's more'n that&mdash;it's serious! Look
+      here, fellers; is there anybody in this crowd that the Major's paid for
+      anything any time?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      They waited. No one spoke. Then, with one impulse, every face swung about
+      and looked up to where, upon the wall, hung the life-size photograph of
+      the Major, dignified, gracious, and gilt-framed. It had been presented to
+      the club two months before by Cuthbertson Scott Hardee, himself.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ike&mdash;Ike Peters,&rdquo; said Higgins. &ldquo;Say, Ike&mdash;has he ever paid you
+      for havin' that took?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Peters, who was the town photographer, reddened, hesitated, and then
+      stammered, &ldquo;Why, no, he ain't, yet.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Humph!&rdquo; grunted Higgins. No one else said anything. One or two took out
+      pocket memorandum books and went over some figures entered therein.
+      Judging by their faces the results of these calculations were not
+      pleasing. Obed was the first to break the painful silence:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well!&rdquo; he exclaimed, sarcastically; &ldquo;ain't nobody got nothin' to say? If
+      they ain't, I have. Or, at any rate, I've got somethin' to do.&rdquo; And he
+      rose and started to put on his coat.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hi! hold on a minute, Obed, you loon!&rdquo; cried Higgins. &ldquo;Where are you
+      goin'?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I'm goin' to put my bill in Squire Baker's hands for c'lection, and I'm
+      goin' to do it tonight, too.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He was on his way to the door, but two or three ran to stop him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Don't be a fool, Obed,&rdquo; said Higgins. &ldquo;Don't go off ha'f cocked. Maybe
+      we're gittin' scared about nothin'. We don't know but we'll get every cent
+      that's owed us.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Don't KNOW! Well, I ain't goin' to wait to find out. What makes me
+      b'ilin' is to think how we've set still and let a man that we never saw
+      afore last March, and don't know one blessed thing about, run up bills and
+      RUN 'em up. How we come to be such everlastin' fools I don't see! What did
+      we let him have the stuff for? Why didn't we make him pay? I&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Now see here, Obed Gott,&rdquo; broke in Weeks, the butcher, &ldquo;you know why just
+      as well as we do. Why, blast it!&rdquo; he added earnestly, &ldquo;if he was to come
+      into my shop to-morrow and tip that old high hat of his, and smile and say
+      'twas a fine mornin and 'How's the good lady to-day?' and all that, he'd
+      get ha'f the meat there was in the place, and I wouldn't say 'Boo'! I jest
+      couldn't, that's all.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      This frank statement was received with approving nods and a chorus of
+      muttered &ldquo;That's so's.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It looks to me this way,&rdquo; declared Higgins. &ldquo;If the Major's all right,
+      he's a mighty good customer for all of us. If he ain't all right, we've
+      got to find it out, but we're in too deep to run resks of gettin' him mad
+      'fore we know for sure. Let's think it over for a week. Inside of that
+      time some of us'll hint to him, polite but firm, you understand, that
+      we've got to have something on account. A week from to-night we'll meet in
+      the back room of my store, talk it over and decide what to do. What do you
+      say?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Everybody but Obed agreed. He declared that he had lost money enough and
+      wasn't going to be a fool any longer. The others argued with him patiently
+      for a while and then Leadbetter, the livery stable keeper, said sharply:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;See here, Obe! You ain't the only one in this. How much does the Major
+      owe you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Pretty nigh twenty dollars.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Humph! You're lucky. He owes me over thirty, and I guess Higgins is worse
+      off than any of us. Ain't that so, Beriah?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;About seventy, even money,&rdquo; answered the grocer, shortly. &ldquo;No use, Obed,
+      we've got to hang together. Wait a week and then see. And, fellers,&rdquo; he
+      added, &ldquo;don't tell a soul about this business, 'specially the women folks.
+      There ain't a woman nor girl in this town that don't think Major Hardee's
+      an A1, gold-plated saint, and twouldn't be safe to break the spell on a
+      guess.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Obed reached home even more disgruntled than when he left it. He sat up
+      until after twelve, thinking and smoking, and when he went to bed he had a
+      brilliant idea. The next morning he wrote a letter and posted it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0005" id="link2HCH0005">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER V
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      A BABY AND A ROBBERY
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      The morning train for Boston, at that season of the year, reached East
+      Harniss at five minutes to six, an &ldquo;ungodly hour,&rdquo; according to the
+      irascible Mr. Ogden Williams, who, in company with some of his wealthy
+      friends, the summer residents, was petitioning the railroad company for a
+      change in the time-table. When Captain Sol Berry, the depot master, walked
+      briskly down Main Street the morning following Mr. Gott's eventful evening
+      at the club, the hands of the clock on the Methodist church tower
+      indicated that the time was twenty minutes to six.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy McKay was already at the depot, the doors of which were open. Captain
+      Sol entered the waiting room and unlocked the ticket rack and the little
+      safe. Issy, languidly toying with the broom on the front platform, paused
+      in his pretense of sweeping and awaited permission to go home for
+      breakfast. It came, in characteristic fashion.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;How's the salt air affectin' your appetite, Is?&rdquo; asked the Captain,
+      casually.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy, who, being intensely serious by nature, was uneasy when he suspected
+      the presence of a joke, confusedly stammered that he cal'lated his
+      appetite was all right.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Payin' for the Major's glass ain't kept you awake worryin', has it?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No-o, sir. I&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;P'r'aps you thought he was the one to 'do the worryin', hey?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I&mdash;I don't know.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, what's your folks goin' to have to eat this mornin'?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy admitted his belief that fried clams were to be the breakfast.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So? Clams? Is, did you ever read the soap advertisement about not bein' a
+      clam?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I&mdash;I don't know's I ever did. No, sir.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;All right; I only called your attention to it as a warnin', that's all.
+      When anybody eats as many clams as you do there's a fair chance of his
+      turnin' into one. Now clear out, and don't stay so long at breakfast that
+      you can't get back in time for dinner. Trot!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy trotted. The depot master seated himself by the door of the ticket
+      office and fell into a reverie. It was interrupted by the entrance of
+      Hiram Baker. Captain Hiram was an ex-fishing skipper, fifty-five years of
+      age, who, with his wife, Sophronia, and their infant son, Hiram Joash
+      Baker, lived in a small, old-fashioned house at the other end of the
+      village, near the shore. Captain Hiram, having retired from the sea, got
+      his living, such as it was, from his string of fish traps, or &ldquo;weirs.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The depot master hailed the new arrival heartily.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hello, there, Hiram!&rdquo; he cried, rising from his chair. &ldquo;Glad to see you
+      once in a while. Ain't goin' to leave us, are you? Not goin' abroad for
+      your health, or anything of that kind, hey?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Baker laughed.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; he answered. &ldquo;No further abroad than Hyannis. And I'll be back from
+      there tonight, if the Lord's willin' and the cars don't get off the track.
+      Give me a round trip ticket, will you, Sol?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The depot master retired to the office, returning with the desired ticket.
+      Captain Hiram counted out the price from a confused mass of coppers and
+      silver, emptied into his hand from a blackened leather purse, tied with a
+      string.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;How's Sophrony?&rdquo; asked the depot master. &ldquo;Pretty smart, I hope.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yup, she's smart. Has to be to keep up with the rest of the family&mdash;'specially
+      the youngest.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He chuckled. His friend laughed in sympathy.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The youngest is the most important of all, I s'pose,&rdquo; he observed. &ldquo;How
+      IS the junior partner of H. Baker and Son?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He ain't a silent partner, I'll swear to that. Honest, Sol, I b'lieve my
+      'Dusenberry' is the cutest young one outside of a show. I said so only
+      yesterday to Mr. Hilton, the minister. I did, and I meant it.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, we're all gettin' ready to celebrate his birthday. Ho, ho!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      This was a standard joke and was so recognized and honored. A baby born on
+      the Fourth of July is sure of a national celebration of his birthday. And
+      to Captain Baker and his wife, no celebration, however widespread, could
+      do justice to the importance of the occasion. When, to answer the heart
+      longings of the child-loving couple married many years, the baby came, he
+      was accepted as a special dispensation of Providence and valued
+      accordingly.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He's got a real nice voice, Hiram,&rdquo; said Sophronia, gazing proudly at the
+      prodigy, who, clutched gingerly in his father's big hands, was screaming
+      his little red face black. &ldquo;I shouldn't wonder if he grew up to sing in
+      the choir.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That's the kind of voice to make a fo'mast hand step lively!&rdquo; declared
+      Hiram. &ldquo;You'll see this boy on the quarter deck of a clipper one of these
+      days.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Naming him was a portentous proceeding and one not to be lightly gone
+      about. Sophronia, who was a Methodist by descent and early confirmation,
+      was of the opinion that the child should have a Bible name.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Captain respected his wife's wishes, but put in an ardent plea for his
+      own name, Hiram.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There's been a Hiram Baker in our family ever since Noah h'isted the
+      main-r'yal on the ark,&rdquo; he declared. &ldquo;I'd kinder like to keep the
+      procession a-goin'.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      They compromised by agreeing to make the baby's Christian name Hiram and
+      to add a middle name selected at random from the Scriptures. The big,
+      rickety family Bible was taken from the center table and opened with
+      shaking fingers by Mrs. Baker. She read aloud the first sentence that met
+      her eye: &ldquo;The son of Joash.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Joash!&rdquo; sneered her husband. &ldquo;You ain't goin' to cruelize him with that
+      name, be you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hiram Baker, do you dare to fly in the face of Scriptur'?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;All right! Have it your own way. Go to sleep now, Hiram Joash, while I
+      sing 'Storm along, John,' to you.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Little Hiram Joash punched the minister's face with his fat fist when he
+      was christened, to the great scandal of his mother and the ill-concealed
+      delight of his father.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Can't blame the child none,&rdquo; declared the Captain. &ldquo;I'd punch anybody
+      that christened a middle name like that onto me.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      But, in spite of his name, the baby grew and prospered. He fell out of his
+      crib, of course, the moment that he was able, and barked his shins over
+      the big shells by the what-not in the parlor the first time that he
+      essayed to creep. He teethed with more or less tribulation, and once upset
+      the household by an attack of the croup.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      They gave up calling him by his first name, because of the Captain's
+      invariably answering when the baby was wanted and not answering when he
+      himself was wanted. Sophronia would have liked to call him Joash, but her
+      husband wouldn't hear of it. At length the father took to calling him
+      &ldquo;Dusenberry,&rdquo; and this nickname was adopted under protest.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Hiram sang the baby to sleep every night. There were three songs
+      in the Captain's repertoire. The first was a chanty with a chorus of
+    </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+     John, storm along, storm along, John,
+     Ain't I glad my day's work's done.
+</pre>
+    <p>
+      The second was the &ldquo;Bowline Song.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+     Haul on the bowline, the 'Phrony is a-rollin',
+     Haul on the bowline! the bowline HAUL!
+</pre>
+    <p>
+      At the &ldquo;haul!&rdquo; the Captain's foot would come down with a thump. Almost the
+      first word little Hiram Joash learned was &ldquo;haul!&rdquo; He used to shout it and
+      kick his father vigorously in the vest.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      These were fair-weather songs. Captain Hiram sang them when everything was
+      going smoothly. The &ldquo;Bowline Song&rdquo; indicated that he was feeling
+      particularly jubilant. He had another that he sang when he was worried. It
+      was a lugubrious ditty, with a refrain beginning:
+    </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+     Oh, sailor boy, sailor boy, 'neath the wild billow,
+     Thy grave is yawnin' and waitin' for thee.
+</pre>
+    <p>
+      He sang this during the worst of the teething period, and, later, when the
+      junior partner wrestled with the whooping cough. You could always tell the
+      state of the baby's health by the Captain's choice of songs.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Meanwhile Dusenberry grew and prospered. He learned to walk and to talk,
+      after his own peculiar fashion, and, at the mature age of two years and
+      six months, formally shipped as first mate aboard his father's dory. His
+      duties in this responsible position were to sit in the stern, securely
+      fastened by a strap, while the Captain and his two assistants rowed out
+      over the bar to haul the nets of the deep water fish weir.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The first mate gave the orders, &ldquo;All hands on deck! 'Tand by to det ship
+      under way!&rdquo; There was no &ldquo;sogerin'&rdquo; aboard the Hiram Junior&mdash;that was
+      the dory's name&mdash;while the first officer had command.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Hiram, always ready to talk of the wonderful baby, told the depot
+      master of the youngster's latest achievement, which was to get the cover
+      off the butter firkin in the pantry and cover himself with butter from
+      head to heel.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ho, ho, ho!&rdquo; he roared, delightedly, &ldquo;when Sophrony caught him at it,
+      what do you s'pose he said? Said he was playin' he was a slice of bread
+      and was spreadin' himself. Haw! haw!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Sol laughed in sympathy.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But he didn't mean no harm by it,&rdquo; explained the proud father. &ldquo;He's got
+      the tenderest little heart in the world. When he found his ma felt bad he
+      bust out cryin' and said he'd scrape it all off again and when it come
+      prayer time he'd tell God who did it, so He'd know 'twa'n't mother that
+      wasted the nice butter. What do you think of that?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No use talkin', Hiram,&rdquo; said the depot master, &ldquo;that's the kind of boy to
+      have.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You bet you! Hello! here's the train. On time, for a wonder. See you
+      later, Sol. You take my advice, get married and have a boy of your own.
+      Nothin' like one for solid comfort.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The train was coming and they went out to meet it. The only passenger to
+      alight was Mr. Barzilla Wingate, whose arrival had been foretold by Bailey
+      Stitt the previous evening. Barzilla was part owner of a good-sized summer
+      hotel at Wellmouth Neck. He and the depot master were old friends.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      After the train had gone Wingate and Captain Sol entered the station
+      together. The Captain had insisted that his friend come home with him to
+      breakfast, instead of going to the hotel. After some persuasion Barzilla
+      agreed. So they sat down to await Issy's arrival. The depot master could
+      not leave the station until the &ldquo;assistant&rdquo; arrived.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, Barzilla,&rdquo; asked Captain Sol, &ldquo;what's the newest craze over to the
+      hotel?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The newest,&rdquo; said Wingate, with a grin, &ldquo;is automobiles.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Automobiles? Why, I thought 'twas baseball.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Baseball was last summer. We had a championship team then. Yes, sir, we
+      won out, though for a spell it looked pretty dubious. But baseball's an
+      old story. We've had football since, and now&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Wait a minute! Football? Why, now I do remember. You had a football team
+      there and&mdash;and wa'n't there somethin' queer, some sort of a&mdash;a
+      robbery, or stealin', or swindlin' connected with it? Seems's if I'd heard
+      somethin' like that.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Wingate looked his friend over, winked, and asked a question.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sol,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;you ain't forgot how to keep a secret?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The depot master smiled. &ldquo;I guess not,&rdquo; he said.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, then, I'm goin' to trust you with one. I'm goin' to tell you the
+      whole business about that robbin'. It's all mixed up with football and
+      millionaires and things&mdash;and it's a dead secret, the truth of it. So
+      when I tell you it mustn't go no further.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You see,&rdquo; he went on, &ldquo;it was late into August when Peter T. was took
+      down with the inspiration. Not that there was anything 'specially new in
+      his bein' took. He was subject to them seizures, Peter was, and every time
+      they broke out in a fresh place. The Old Home House itself was one of his
+      inspirations, so was the hirin' of college waiters, the openin' of the two
+      'Annex' cottages, the South Shore Weather Bureau, and a whole lot more.
+      Sometimes, as in the weather-bureau foolishness, the disease left him and
+      t'other two patients&mdash;meanin' me and Cap'n Jonadab&mdash;pretty weak
+      in the courage, and wasted in the pocketbook; but gen'rally they turned
+      out good, and our systems and bank accounts was more healthy than normal.
+      One of Peter T.'s inspirations was consider'ble like typhoid fever&mdash;if
+      you did get over it, you felt better for havin' had it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;This time the attack was in the shape of a 'supplementary season.' 'Twas
+      Peter's idea that shuttin' up the Old Home the fust week in September was
+      altogether too soon.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What's the use of quittin',' says he, 'while there's bait left and the
+      fish are bitin'? Why not keep her goin' through September and October? Two
+      or three ads&mdash;MY ads&mdash;in the papers, hintin' that the ducks and
+      wild geese are beginnin' to keep the boarders awake by roostin' in the
+      back yard and hollerin' at night&mdash;two or three of them, and we'll
+      have gunners here by the regiment. Other summer hotels do it, the
+      Wapatomac House and the rest, so why not us? It hurts my conscience to see
+      good money gettin' past the door 'count of the &ldquo;Not at Home&rdquo; sign hung on
+      the knob. What d'you say, partners?' says he.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, we had consider'ble to say, partic'lar Cap'n Jonadab. 'Twas too
+      risky and too expensive. Gunnin' was all right except for one thing&mdash;that
+      is, that there wa'n't none wuth mentionin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Ducks are scurser round here than Democrats in a Vermont town-meetin','
+      growled the Cap'n. 'And as for geese! How long has it been since you see a
+      goose, Barzilla?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Land knows!' says I. 'I can remember as fur back as the fust time Washy
+      Sparrow left off workin', but I can't&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Brown told us to shut up. Did we cal'late he didn't know what he was
+      talkin' about?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I can see two geese right now,' he snaps; 'but they're so old and
+      leather-headed you couldn't shoot an idea into their brains with a cannon.
+      Gunnin' ain't the whole thing. My makin' a noise like a duck is only to
+      get the would-be Teddy Roosevelts headed for this neck of the woods. After
+      they get here, it's up to us to keep 'em. And I can think of as many ways
+      to do that as the Cap'n can of savin' a quarter. Our baseball team's been
+      a success, ain't it? Sure thing! Then why not a football team? Parker says
+      he'll get it together, and coach and cap'n it, too. And Robinson and his
+      daughter have agreed to stay till October fifteenth. So there's a start,
+      anyhow.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas a start, and a pretty good one. The Robinsons had come to the Old
+      Home about the fust of August, and they was our star boarders. 'G. W.
+      Robinson' was the old man's name as entered on the hotel log, and his
+      daughter answered to the hail of 'Grace'&mdash;that is, when she took a
+      notion to answer at all. The Robinsons was what Peter T. called
+      'exclusive.' They didn't mix much with the rest of the bunch, but kept to
+      themselves in their rooms, partic'lar when a fresh net full of boarders
+      was hauled aboard. Then they seemed to take an observation of every
+      arrival afore they mingled; questioned the pedigree and statistics of all
+      hands, and acted mighty suspicious.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The only thing that really stirred Papa Robinson up and got him excited
+      and friendly was baseball and boat racin'. He was an old sport, that was
+      plain, the only real plain thing about him; the rest was mystery. As for
+      Grace, she wa'n't plain by a good sight, bein' what Brown called a
+      'peach.' She could have had every single male in tow if she'd wanted 'em.
+      Apparently she didn't want em, preferrin' to be lonesome and sad and
+      interestin'. Yes, sir, there was a mystery about them Robinsons, and even
+      Peter T. give in to that.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'If 'twas anybody else,' says he, 'I'd say the old man was a crook, down
+      here hidin' from the police. But he's too rich for that, and always has
+      been. He ain't any fly-by-night. I can tell the real article without
+      lookin' for the &ldquo;sterlin'&rdquo; mark on the handle. But I'll bet all the
+      cold-storage eggs in the hotel against the henyard&mdash;and that's big
+      odds&mdash;that he wa'n't christened Robinson. And his face is familiar to
+      me. I've seen it somewhere, either in print or in person. I wish I knew
+      where.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So if the Robinsons had agreed to stay&mdash;them and their two servants&mdash;that
+      was a big help, as Brown said. And Parker would help, too, though we
+      agreed there wa'n't no mystery about him. He was a big, broad-shouldered
+      young feller just out of college somewheres, who had drifted our way the
+      fortni't after the Robinsons came, with a reputation for athletics and a
+      leanin' toward cigarettes and Miss Grace. She leaned a little, too, but
+      hers wa'n't so much of a bend as his was. He was dead gone on her, and if
+      she'd have decided to stay under water, he'd have ducked likewise. 'Twas
+      easy enough to see why HE believed in a 'supplementary season.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Me and Jonadab argued it out with Peter, and finally we met halfway, so's
+      to speak. We wouldn't keep the whole shebang open, but we'd shut up
+      everything but one Annex cottage, and advertise that as a Gunner's
+      Retreat. So we done it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And it worked. Heavens to Betsy&mdash;yes! It worked so well that by the
+      second week in September we had to open t'other Annex. The gunnin' was
+      bad, but Peter's ads fetched the would-be's, and his 'excursions' and
+      picnics and the football team held 'em. The football team especial. Parker
+      cap'ned that, and, from the gunnin' crew and the waiters and some
+      fishermen in the village, he dug up an eleven that showed symptoms of
+      playin' the game. We played the Trumet High School, and beat it, thanks to
+      Parker, and that tickled Pa Robinson so that he bought a two-handled
+      silver soup tureen&mdash;'lovin' cup,' he called it&mdash;and agreed to
+      give it to the team round about that won the most of the series. So the
+      series was arranged, the Old Home House crowd and the Wapatomac House
+      eleven and three high-school gangs bein' in it. And 'twas practice,
+      practice, practice, from then on.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;When we opened the second Annex, the question of help got serious. Most
+      of our college waiters had gone back to school, and we was pretty shy of
+      servants. So we put some extry advertisin' in the Cape weeklies, and
+      trusted in Providence.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The evenin' followin' the ad in the weeklies, I was settin' smokin' on
+      the back piazza of the shut-up main hotel, when I heard the gate click and
+      somebody crunchin' along the clam-shell path. I sung out: 'Ahoy, there!'
+      and the cruncher, whoever he was, come my way. Then I made out that he was
+      a tall young chap, with his hands in his pockets.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Good evenin',' says he. 'Is this Mr. Brown?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Thankin' you for the compliment, it ain't,' I says. 'My name's Wingate.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh!' says he. 'Is that so? I've heard father speak of you, Mr. Wingate.
+      He is Solomon Bearse, of West Ostable. I think you know him slightly.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Know him? Everybody on the Cape knows Sol Bearse; by reputation, anyhow.
+      He's the richest, meanest old cranberry grower and coastin'-fleet owner in
+      these parts.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Is Sol Bearse your dad?' I asks, astonished. 'Why, then, you must be
+      Gus?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No,' he says. 'I'm the other one&mdash;Fred.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, the college one. The one who's goin' to be a lawyer.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Well, yes&mdash;and no,' says he. 'I WAS the college one, as you call
+      it, but I'm not goin' to be a lawyer. Father and I have had some talk on
+      that subject, and I think we've settled it. I&mdash;well, just at present,
+      I'm not sure what I'm goin' to be. That's what I've come to you for. I saw
+      your ad in the Item, and&mdash;I want a job.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I was set all aback, and left with my canvas flappin', as you might say.
+      Sol Bearse's boy huntin' a job in a hotel kitchen! Soon's I could fetch a
+      whole breath, I wanted partic'lars. He give 'em to me.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Seems he'd been sent out to one of the colleges in the Middle West by his
+      dad, who was dead set on havin' a lawyer in the family. But the more he
+      studied, the less he hankered for law. What he wanted to be was a
+      literature&mdash;a book-agent or a poet, or some such foolishness. Old
+      Sol, havin' no more use for a poet than he had for a poor relation, was
+      red hot in a minute. Was this what he'd been droppin' good money in the
+      education collection box for? Was this&mdash;etcetery and so on. He'd be&mdash;what
+      the church folks say he will be&mdash;if Fred don't go in for law. Fred,
+      he comes back that he'll be the same if he does. So they disowned each
+      other by mutual consent, as the Irishman said, and the boy marches out of
+      the front door, bag and baggage. And, as the poetry market seemed to be
+      sort of overly supplied at the present time, he decided he must do
+      somethin' to earn a dollar, and, seein' our ad, he comes to Wellmouth Port
+      and the Old Home.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But look here,' says I, 'we ain't got no job for a literary. We need
+      fellers to pass pie and wash dishes. And THAT ain't no poem.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, he thought perhaps he could help make up advertisin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You can't,' I told him. 'One time, when Peter T. Brown was away, me and
+      Cap'n Jonadab cal'lated that a poetry advertisement would be a good idee
+      and we managed to shake out ten lines or so. It begun:
+    </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+     &ldquo;When you're feelin' tired and pale
+     To the Old Home House you ought to come without fail.&rdquo;
+ </pre>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'We thought 'twas pretty slick, but we never got but one answer, and that
+      was a circular from one of them correspondence schools of authors, sayin'
+      they'd let us in on a course at cut rates. And the next thing we knew we
+      see that poem in the joke page of a Boston paper. I never&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He laughed, quiet and sorrowful. He had the quietest way of speakin',
+      anyhow, and his voice was a lovely tenor. To hear it purrin' out of his
+      big, tall body was as unexpected as a hymn tune in a cent-in-the-slot
+      talkin' machine.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Too bad,' he says. 'As a waiter, I'm afraid&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Just then the door of one of the Annex houses opened sudden, and there
+      stood Grace Robinson. The light behind her showed her up plain as could
+      be. I heard Fred Bearse make a kind of gaspin' noise in his throat.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What a lovely night!' she says, half to herself. Then she calls: 'Papa,
+      dear, you really ought to see the stars.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Old man Robinson, who I judged was in the settin' room, snarled out
+      somethin' which wa'n't no compliment to the stars. Then he ordered her to
+      come in afore she catched cold. She sighed and obeyed orders, shuttin' the
+      door astern of her. Next thing I knew that literary tenor grabbed my arm&mdash;'twa'n't
+      no canary-bird grip, neither.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Who was that?' he whispers, eager.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I told him. 'That's the name they give,' says I, 'but we have doubts
+      about its bein' the real one. You see, there's some mystery about them
+      Robinsons, and&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I'll take that waiter's place,' he says, quick. 'Shall I go right in and
+      begin now? Don't stop to argue, man; I say I'll take it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And he did take it by main strength, pretty nigh. Every time I'd open my
+      mouth he'd shut it up, and at last I give in, and showed him where he
+      could sleep.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You turn out at five sharp,' I told him. 'And you needn't bother to
+      write no poems while you're dressin', neither.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Good night,' he answers, brisk. 'Go, will you, please? I want to think.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I went. 'Tain't until an hour later that I remembered he hadn't asked one
+      word concernin' the wages. And next mornin' he comes to me and suggests
+      that perhaps 'twould be as well if I didn't tell his real name. He was
+      pretty sure he'd been away schoolin' so long that he wouldn't be
+      recognized. 'And incognitos seem to be fashionable here,' he purrs, soft
+      and gentle.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I wouldn't know an incognito if I stepped on one, but the tenor voice of
+      him kind of made me sick.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'All right,' I snaps, sarcastic. 'Suppose I call you &ldquo;Willie.&rdquo; How'll
+      that do?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Do as well as anything, I guess,' he says. Didn't make no odds to him.
+      If I'd have called him 'Maud,' he'd have been satisfied.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He waited in Annex Number Two, which was skippered by Cap'n Jonadab. And,
+      for a poet, he done pretty well, so the Cap'n said.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But say, Barzilla,' asks Jonadab, 'does that Willie thing know the
+      Robinsons?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Guess not,' I says. But, thinkin' of the way he'd acted when the girl
+      come to the door: 'Why?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, nothin' much. Only when he come in with the doughnuts the fust
+      mornin' at breakfast, I thought Grace sort of jumped and looked funny.
+      Anyhow, she didn't eat nothin' after that. P'r'aps that was on account of
+      her bein' out sailin' the day afore, though.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I said I cal'lated that was it, but all the same I was interested. And
+      when, a day or so later, I see Grace and Willie talkin' together earnest,
+      out back of the kitchen, I was more so. But I never said nothin'. I've
+      been seafarin' long enough to know when to keep my main hatch closed.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The supplementary season dragged along, but it wa'n't quite the success
+      it looked like at the start. The gunnin' that year was even worse than
+      usual, and excursions and picnics in late September ain't all joy, by no
+      manner of means. We shut up the second Annex at the end of the month, and
+      transferred the help to Number One. Precious few new boarders come, and a
+      good many of the old ones quit. Them that did stay, stayed on account of
+      the football. We was edgin' up toward the end of the series, and our team
+      and the Wapatomac crowd was neck and neck. It looked as if the final game
+      between them and us, over on their grounds, would settle who'd have the
+      soup tureen.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Pa Robinson and Parker had been quite interested in Willie when he fust
+      come. They thought he might play with the eleven, you see. But he
+      wouldn't. Set his foot right down.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I don't care for athletics,' he says, mild but firm. 'They used to
+      interest me somewhat, but not now.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The old man was crazy. He'd heard about Willie's literature leanin's, and
+      he give out that he'd never see a writer yet that wa'n't a 'sissy.' Wanted
+      us to fire Bearse right off, but we kept him, thanks to me. If he'd seen
+      the 'sissy' kick the ball once, same as I did, it might have changed his
+      mind some. He was passin' along the end of the field when the gang was
+      practicin', and the ball come his way. He caught it on the fly, and sent
+      it back with his toe. It went a mile, seemed so, whirlin' and whizzin'.
+      Willie never even looked to see where it went; just kept on his course for
+      the kitchen.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The big sensation hit us on the fifth of October, right after supper. Me
+      and Peter T. and Jonadab was in the office, when down comes Henry, old
+      Robinson's man servant, white as a sheet and wringin' his hands
+      distracted.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, I say, Mr. Brown!' says he, shakin' all over like a quicksand. 'Oh,
+      Mr. Brown, sir! Will you come right up to Mr. Sterz&mdash;I mean Mr.
+      Robinson's room, please, sir! 'E wants to see you gentlemen special.
+      'Urry, please! 'Urry!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So we ''urried,' wonderin' what on earth was the matter. And when we got
+      to the Robinson rooms, there was Grace, lookin' awful pale, and the old
+      man himself ragin' up and down like a horse mack'rel in a fish weir.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Soon as papa sees us, he jumped up in the air, so's to speak, and when he
+      lit 'twas right on our necks. His daughter, who seemed to be the sanest
+      one in the lot, run and shut the door.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Look here, you!' raved the old gent, shakin' both fists under Peter T.'s
+      nose. 'Didn't you tell me this was a respectable hotel? And ain't we
+      payin' for respectability?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Peter admitted it, bein' too much set back to argue, I cal'late.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes!' rages Robinson. 'We pay enough for all the respectability in this
+      state. And yet, by the livin' Moses! I can't go out of my room to spoil my
+      digestion with your cussed dried-apple pie, but what I'm robbed!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Robbed!' the three of us gurgles in chorus.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes, sir! Robbed! Robbed! ROBBED! What do you think I came here for? And
+      why do I stay here all this time? 'Cause I LIKE it? 'Cause I can't afford
+      a better place? No, sir! By the great horn spoon! I come here because I
+      thought in this forsaken hole I could get lost and be safe. And now&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He tore around like a water spout, Grace trying to calm him, and Henry
+      and Suzette, the maid, groanin' and sobbin' accompaniments in the corner.
+      I looked at the dresser. There was silver-backed brushes and all sorts of
+      expensive doodads spread out loose, and Miss Robinson's watch and a
+      di'mond ring, and a few other knickknacks. I couldn't imagine a thief's
+      leavin' all that truck, and I said so.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Them?' sputters Pa, frantic. 'What the brimstone blazes do you think I
+      care for them? I could buy that sort of stuff by the car-load, if I wanted
+      to. But what's been stole is&mdash;Oh, get out and leave me alone! You're
+      no good, the lot of you!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Father has had a valuable paper stolen from him,' explains Grace. 'A
+      very valuable paper.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Valuable!' howls her dad. 'VALUABLE! Why, if Gordon and his gang get
+      that paper, they've got ME, that's all. Their suit's as good as won, and I
+      know it. And to think that I've kept it safe up to within a month of the
+      trial, and now&mdash;Grace Sterzer, you stop pattin' my head. I'm no
+      pussy-cat! By the&mdash;' And so on, indefinite.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;When he called his daughter Sterzer, instead of Robinson, I cal'lated he
+      was loony, sure enough. But Peter T. slapped his leg.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh!' he says, as if he'd seen a light all to once. 'Ah, NOW I begin to
+      get wise. I knew your face was&mdash;See here, Mr. Sterzer&mdash;Mr.
+      Gabriel Sterzer&mdash;don't you think we'd better have a real, plain talk
+      on this matter? Let's get down to tacks. Was the paper you lost something
+      to do with the Sterzer-Gordon lawsuit? The Aluminum Trust case, you know?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The old man stopped dancin', stared at him hard, and then set down and
+      wiped his forehead.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Something to DO with it?' he groans. 'Why, you idiot, it was IT! If
+      Gordon's lawyers get that paper&mdash;and they've been after it for a year&mdash;then
+      the fat's all in the fire. There's nothin' left for me to do but
+      compromise.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;When Peter T. mentioned the name of Gabriel Sterzer, me and Jonadab begun
+      to see a light, too. 'Course you remember the bust-up of the Aluminum
+      Trust&mdash;everybody does. The papers was full of it. There'd been a row
+      among the two leadin' stockholders, Gabe Sterzer and 'Major' Gordon. Them
+      two double-back-action millionaires practically owned the trust, and the
+      state 'twas in, and the politics of that state, and all the politicians.
+      Each of 'em run three or four banks of their own, and a couple of
+      newspapers, and other things, till you couldn't rest. Then they had the
+      row, and Gabe had took his playthings and gone home, as you might say.
+      Among the playthings was a majority of the stock, and the Major had sued
+      for it. The suit, with pictures of the leadin' characters and the lawyers
+      and all, had been spread-eagled in the papers everywheres. No wonder
+      'Robinson's' face was familiar.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But it seemed that Sterzer had held the trump card in the shape of the
+      original agreement between him and Gordon. And he hung on to it like the
+      Old Scratch to a fiddler. Gordon and his crowd had done everything, short
+      of murder, to get it; hired folks to steal it, and so on, because, once
+      they DID get it, Gabe hadn't a leg to stand on&mdash;he'd have to divide
+      equal, which wa'n't his desires, by a good sight. The Sterzer lawyers had
+      wanted him to leave it in their charge, but no&mdash;he knew too much for
+      that. The pig-headed old fool had carted it with him wherever he went, and
+      him and his daughter had come to the Old Home House because he figgered
+      nobody would think of their bein' in such an out-of-the-way place as that.
+      But they HAD thought of it. Anyhow, the paper was gone.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But Mr. Robinzer&mdash;Sterson, I mean&mdash;' cut in Cap'n Jonadab,
+      'you could have 'em took up for stealin', couldn't you? They wouldn't dare&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;''Course they'd dare! S'pose they don't know I wouldn't have that
+      agreement get in the papers? Dare! They'd dare anything. If they get away
+      with it, by hook or crook, all I can do is haul in my horns and
+      compromise. If they've got that paper, the suit never comes to trial.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Well, they ain't got it yet,' says Peter, decided. 'Whoever stole the
+      thing is right here in this boardin'-house, and it's up to us to see that
+      they stay here. Barzilla, you take care of the mail. No letters must go
+      out to-night. Jonadab, you set up and watch all hands, help and all.
+      Nobody must leave this place, if we have to tie em. And I'll keep a
+      gen'ral overseein' of the whole thing, till we get a detective. And&mdash;if
+      you'll stand the waybill, Mr. Sterzer&mdash;we'll have the best Pinkerton
+      in Boston down here in three hours by special train. By the way, are you
+      sure the thing IS lifted? Where was it?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Old Gabe kind of colored up, and give in that 'twas under his pillow. He
+      always kept it there after the beds was made.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Humph!' grunts Brown. 'Why didn't you hang it on the door-knob? Under
+      the pillow! If I was a sneak thief, the first place I'd look would be
+      under the pillow; after that I'd tackle the jewelry box and the safe.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There was consider'ble more talk. Seems the Sterzers had left Henry on
+      guard, same as they always done, when they went to supper. They could
+      trust him and Suzette absolute, they said. But Henry had gone down the
+      hall after a drink of water, and when he had got back everything
+      apparently was all right. 'Twa'n't till Gabe himself come up that he found
+      the paper gone. I judged he'd made it interestin' for Henry; the poor
+      critter looked that way.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;All hands agreed to keep mum for the present and to watch. Peter hustled
+      to the office and called up the Pinkertons over the long distance.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Wingate paused. Captain Sol was impatient.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Go on,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Don't stop now, I'm gettin' anxious.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Barzilla rose to his feet. &ldquo;Here's your McKay man back again,&rdquo; he said.
+      &ldquo;Let's go up to your house and have breakfast. We can talk while we're
+      eatin'. I'm empty as a poorhouse boarder's pocketbook.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0006" id="link2HCH0006">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER VI
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      AVIATION AND AVARICE
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Breakfast at Capt. Sol Berry's was a bountiful meal. The depot master
+      employed a middle-aged woman who came in each day, cooked his meals and
+      did the housework, returning to her own home at night. After Mr. Wingate
+      had mowed a clean swath through ham and eggs, cornbread and coffee, and
+      had reached the cooky and doughnut stage, he condescended to speak further
+      concerning the stolen paper.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;Brown give me and Jonadab a serious talkin' to when he
+      got us alone.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Now, fellers,' he says, 'we know what we've got to do. Nothin'll be too
+      good for this shebang and us if we get that agreement back. Fust place,
+      the thing was done a few minutes after the supper-bell rung. That is,
+      unless that 'Enry is in on the deal, which ain't unlikely, considerin' the
+      price he could get from the Gordon gang. Was anybody late at the tables?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Why, yes; there were quite a few late. Two of the 'gunners,' who'd been
+      on a forlorn-hope duck hunt; and a minister and his wife, out walkin' for
+      their health; and Parker and two fellers from the football team, who'd
+      been practicin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Any of the waiters or the chambermaids?' asked Peter.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I'd been expectin' he'd ask that, and I hated to answer.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'One of the waiters was a little late,' says I. 'Willie wa'n't on hand
+      immediate. Said he went to wash his hands.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Now the help gen'rally washed in the fo'castle&mdash;the servants'
+      quarters, I mean&mdash;but there was a wash room on the floor where the
+      Sterzer-Robinsons roomed. Peter looked at Jonadab, and the two of 'em at
+      me. And I had to own up that Willie had come downstairs from that wash
+      room a few minutes after the bell rung.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hum!' says Peter T. 'Hum!' he says. 'Look here, Barzilla, didn't you
+      tell me you knew that feller's real name, and that he had been studying
+      law?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No,' says I, emphatic. 'I said 'twas law he was tryin' to get away from.
+      His tastes run large to literation and poetry.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hum!' says Peter again. 'All papers are more or less literary&mdash;even
+      trust agreements. Hum!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'All the same,' says I, 'I'll bet my Sunday beaver that HE never took
+      it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;They didn't answer, but looked solemn. Then the three of us went on
+      watch.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Nobody made a move to go out that evenin'. I kept whatever mail was
+      handed in, but there was nothin' that looked like any agreements, and
+      nothin' addressed to Gordon or his lawyers. At twelve or so, the detective
+      come. Peter drove up to the depot to meet the special. He told the whole
+      yarn on the way down.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The detective was a nice enough chap, and we agreed he should be 'Mr.
+      Snow,' of New York, gunnin' for health and ducks. He said the watch must
+      be kept up all night, and in the mornin' he'd make his fust move. So said,
+      so done.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And afore breakfast that next mornin' we called everybody into the dinin'
+      room, boarders, help, stable hands, every last one. And Peter made a
+      little speech. He said that a very valuable paper had been taken out of
+      Mr. Robinson's room, and 'twas plain that it must be on the premises
+      somewhere. 'Course, nobody was suspicioned, but, speakin' for himself,
+      he'd feel better if his clothes and his room was searched through. How'd
+      the rest feel about it?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, they felt diff'rent ways, but Parker spoke up like a brick, and
+      said he wouldn't rest easy till HIS belongin's was pawed over, and then
+      the rest fell in line. We went through everybody and every room on the
+      place. Found nothin', of course. Snow&mdash;the detective&mdash;said he
+      didn't expect to. But I tell you there was some talkin' goin' on, just the
+      same. The minister, he hinted that he had some doubts about them
+      dissipated gunners; and the gunners cal'lated they never see a parson yet
+      wouldn't bear watchin'. As for me, I felt like a pickpocket, and, judgin'
+      from Jonadab's face, he felt the same.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The detective man swooped around quiet, bobbin' up in unexpected places,
+      like a porpoise, and askin' questions once in a while. He asked about most
+      everybody, but about Willie, especial. I judged Peter T. had dropped a
+      hint to him and to Gabe. Anyhow, the old critter give out that he wouldn't
+      trust a poet with the silver handles on his grandmarm's coffin. As for
+      Grace, she acted dreadful nervous and worried. Once I caught her swabbin'
+      her eyes, as if she'd been cryin'; but I'd never seen her and Willie
+      together but the one time I told you of.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Four days and nights crawled by. No symptoms yet. The Pinkertons was
+      watchin' the Gordon lawyers' office in New York, and they reported that
+      nothin' like that agreement had reached there. And our own man&mdash;Snow&mdash;said
+      he'd go bail it hadn't been smuggled off the premises sense HE struck
+      port. So 'twas safe so far; but where was it, and who had it?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The final football game, the one with Wapatomac, was to be played over on
+      their grounds on the afternoon of the fifth day. Parker, cap'n of the
+      eleven, give out that, considerin' everything, he didn't know but we'd
+      better call it off. Old Robinson&mdash;Sterzer, of course&mdash;wouldn't
+      hear of it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Not much,' says he. 'I wouldn't chance your losin' that game for forty
+      papers. You sail in and lick 'em!' or words to that effect.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So the eleven was to cruise across the bay in the Greased Lightnin',
+      Peter's little motor launch, and the rooters was to go by train later on.
+      'Twas Parker's idee, goin' in the launch. 'Twould be more quiet, less
+      strain on the nerves of his men, and they could talk over plays and
+      signals on the v'yage.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So at nine o'clock in the forenoon they was ready, the whole team&mdash;three
+      waiters, two fishermen, one carpenter from up to Wellmouth Center, a
+      stable hand, and Parker and three reg'lar boarders. These last three was
+      friends of Parker's that he'd had come down some time afore. He knew they
+      could play football, he said, and they'd come to oblige him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The eleven gathered on the front porch, all in togs and sweaters,
+      principally provided and paid for by Sterzer. Cap'n Parker had the ball
+      under his arm, and the launch was waitin' ready at the landin'. All the
+      boarders&mdash;except Grace, who was upstairs in her room&mdash;and most
+      of the help was standin' round to say good luck and good-by.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Snow, the detective, was there, and I whispered in his ear.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Say,' I says, 'do you realize that for the fust time since the robbery
+      here's a lot of folks leavin' the house? How do you know but what&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He winked and nodded brisk. 'I'll attend to that,' he says.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But he didn't have to. Parker spoke fust, and took the wind out of his
+      sails.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Gentlemen,' says he, 'I don't know how the rest of you feel, but, as for
+      me, I don't start without clear skirts. I suggest that Mr. Brown and Mr.
+      Wingate here search each one of us, thoroughly. Who knows,' says he,
+      laughin', 'but what I've got that precious stolen paper tucked inside my
+      sweater? Ha! ha! Come on, fellers! I'll be first.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He tossed the ball into a chair and marched into the office, the rest of
+      the players after him, takin' it as a big joke. And there the searchin'
+      was done, and done thorough, 'cause Peter asked Mr. Snow to help, and he
+      knew how. One thing was sure; Pa Gabe's agreement wa'n't hid about the
+      persons of that football team. Everybody laughed&mdash;that is, all but
+      the old man and the detective. Seemed to me that Snow was kind of
+      disappointed, and I couldn't see why. 'Twa'n't likely any of THEM was
+      thieves.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Cap'n Parker picked up his football and started off for the launch. He'd
+      got about ha'fway to the shore when Willie&mdash;who'd been stand-in' with
+      the rest of the help, lookin' on&mdash;stepped for'ard pretty brisk and
+      whispered in the ear of the Pinkerton man. The detective jumped, sort of,
+      and looked surprised and mighty interested.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'By George!' says he. 'I never thought of that.' Then he run to the edge
+      of the piazza and called.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Mr. Parker!' he sings out. 'Oh, Mr. Parker!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Parker was at the top of the little rise that slopes away down to the
+      landin'. The rest of the eleven was scattered from the shore to the hotel
+      steps. He turns, without stoppin', and answers.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What is it?' he sings out, kind of impatient.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'There's just one thing we forgot to look at,' shouts Snow. 'Merely a
+      matter of form, but just bring that&mdash;Hey! Stop him! Stop him!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;For Parker, instead of comin' back, had turned and was leggin' it for the
+      launch as fast as he could, and that was some.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Stop!' roars the Pinkerton man, jumpin' down the steps. 'Stop, or&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hold him, Jim!' screeched Parker, over his shoulder. One of the biggest
+      men on the eleven&mdash;one of the three 'friends' who'd been so obligin'
+      as to come down on purpose to play football&mdash;made a dive, caught the
+      detective around the waist, and threw him flat.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Go on, Ed!' he shouts. 'I've got him, all right.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ed&mdash;meanin' Parker&mdash;was goin' on, and goin' fast. All hands
+      seemed to be frozen stiff, me and Jonadab and Peter T. included. As for
+      me, I couldn't make head nor tail of the doin's; things was comin' too
+      quick for MY understandin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But there was one on that piazza who wa'n't froze. Fur from it! Willie,
+      the poet waiter, made a jump, swung his long legs over the porch-rail, hit
+      the ground, and took after that Parker man like a cat after a field mouse.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Run! I never see such runnin'! He fairly flashed across that lawn and
+      over the rise. Parker was almost to the landin'; two more jumps and he'd
+      been aboard the launch. If he'd once got aboard, a turn of the switch and
+      that electric craft would have had him out of danger in a shake. But them
+      two jumps was two too many. Willie riz off the ground like a flyin'
+      machine, turned his feet up and his head down, and lapped his arms around
+      Parker's knees. Down the pair of 'em went 'Ker-wallop!' and the football
+      flew out of Parker's arms.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;In an eyewink that poet was up, grabs the ball, and comes tearin' back
+      toward us.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Stop him!' shrieks Parker from astern.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Head him off! Tackle him!' bellers the big chap who was hangin' onto the
+      detective.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;They tell me that discipline and obeyin' orders is as much in football as
+      'tis aboard ship. If that's so, every one of the Old Home House eleven was
+      onto their jobs. There was five men between Willie and the hotel, and they
+      all bore down on him like bats on a June bug.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Get him!' howls Parker, racin' to help.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Down him!' chimes in big Jim, his knee in poor Snow's back.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Run, Bearse! Run!' whoops the Pinkerton man, liftin' his mouth out of
+      the sand.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He run&mdash;don't you worry about that! Likewise he dodged. One chap
+      swooped at him, and he ducked under his arms. Another made a dive, and he
+      jumped over him. The third one he pushed one side with his hand. 'Pushed!'
+      did I say? 'Knocked' would be better, for the feller&mdash;the carpenter
+      'twas&mdash;went over and over like a barrel rollin' down hill. But there
+      was two more left, and one of 'em was bound to have him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then a window upstairs banged open.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, Mr. Bearse!' screamed a voice&mdash;Grace Sterzer's voice. 'Don't
+      let them get you!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We all heard her, in spite of the shoutin' and racket. Willie heard her,
+      too. The two fellers, one at each side, was almost on him, when he
+      stopped, looked up, jumped back, and, as cool as a rain barrel in January,
+      he dropped that ball and kicked it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I can see that picture now, like a tableau at a church sociable. The
+      fellers that was runnin', the others on the ground, and that literary pie
+      passer with his foot swung up to his chin.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And the ball! It sailed up and up in a long curve, began to drop, passed
+      over the piazza roof, and out of sight.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Lock your door, Miss Sterzer,' sung out Fred Bearse&mdash;'Willie' for
+      short. 'Lock your door and keep that ball. I think your father's paper is
+      inside it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;As sure as my name is Barzilla Wingate, he had kicked that football
+      straight through the open window into old Gabe's room.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The depot master whooped and slapped his knee. Mr. Wingate grinned
+      delightedly and continued:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There!&rdquo; he went on, &ldquo;the cat's out of the bag, and there ain't much more
+      to tell. Everybody made a bolt for the room, old Gabe and Peter T. in the
+      lead. Grace let her dad in, and the ball was ripped open in a hurry. Sure
+      enough! Inside, between the leather and the rubber, was the missin'
+      agreement. Among the jubilations and praise services nobody thought of
+      much else until Snow, the Pinkerton man, come upstairs, his clothes tore
+      and his eyes and nose full of sand.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Humph!' says he. 'You've got it, hey? Good! Well, you haven't got friend
+      Parker. Look!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Such of us as could looked out of the window. There was the launch, with
+      Parker and his three 'friends' in it, headin' two-forty for blue water.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Let 'em go,' says old Gabe, contented. 'I wouldn't arrest 'em if I
+      could. This is no police-station job.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It come out afterwards that Parker was a young chap just from law school,
+      who had gone to work for the firm of shysters who was attendin' to the
+      Gordon interests. They had tracked Sterzer to the Old Home House, and had
+      put their new hand on the job of gettin' that agreement. Fust he'd tried
+      to shine up to Grace, but the shine&mdash;her part of it&mdash;had wore
+      off. Then he decided to steal it; and he done it, just how nobody knows.
+      Snow, the detective, says he cal'lates Henry, the servant, is wiser'n most
+      folks thinks, fur's that's concerned.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Snow had found out about Parker inside of two days. Soon's he got the
+      report as to who he was, he was morally sartin that he was the thief. He'd
+      looked up Willie's record, too, and that was clear. In fact, Willie helped
+      him consider'ble. 'Twas him that recognized Parker, havin' seen him play
+      on a law-school team. Also 'twas Willie who thought of the paper bein' in
+      the football.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Land of love! What a hero they made of that waiter!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'By the livin' Moses!' bubbles old Gabe, shakin' both the boy's hands.
+      'That was the finest run and tackle and the finest kick I ever saw
+      anywhere. I've seen every big game for ten years, and I never saw anything
+      half so good.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The Pinkerton man laughed. 'There's only one chap on earth who can kick
+      like that. Here he is,' layin' his hand on 'Willie's' shoulder. Bearse,
+      the All-American half-back last year.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Gabe's mouth fell open. 'Not &ldquo;Bung&rdquo; Bearse, of Yarvard!' he sings out.
+      'Why! WHY!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Of course, father!' purrs his daughter, smilin' and happy. 'I knew him
+      at once. He and I were&mdash;er&mdash;slightly acquainted when I was at
+      Highcliffe.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But&mdash;but &ldquo;Bung&rdquo; Bearse!' gasps the old gent. 'Why, you rascal! I
+      saw you kick the goal that beat Haleton. Your reputation is worldwide.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Willie&mdash;Fred Bearse, that is&mdash;shook his head, sad and
+      regretful.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Thank you, Mr. Sterzer,' says he, in his gentle tenor. 'I have no desire
+      to be famous in athletics. My aspirations now are entirely literary.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, he's got his literary job at last, bein' engaged as sportin' editor
+      on one of Gabe's papers. His dad, old Sol Bearse, seems to be pretty well
+      satisfied, partic'lar as another engagement between the Bearse family and
+      the Sterzers has just been given out.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Barzilla helped himself to another doughnut. His host leaned back in his
+      chair and laughed uproariously.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, by the great and mighty!&rdquo; he exclaimed, &ldquo;that Willie chap certainly
+      did fool you, didn't he. You can't always tell about these college
+      critters. Sometimes they break out unexpected, like chickenpox in the 'Old
+      Men's Home.' Ha! ha! Say, do you know Nate Scudder?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Know him? Course I know him! The meanest man on the Cape, and livin'
+      right in my own town, too! Well, if I didn't know him I might trust him,
+      and that would be the beginnin' of the end&mdash;for me.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It sartin would. But what made me think of him was what he told me about
+      his nephew, who was a college chap, consider'ble like your 'Willie,' I
+      jedge. Nate and this nephew, Augustus Tolliver, was mixed up in that
+      flyin'-machine business, you remember.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I know they was. Mixed up with that Professor Dixland the papers are
+      makin' such a fuss over. Wellmouth's been crazy over it all, but it
+      happened a year ago and nobody that I know of has got the straight inside
+      facts about it yet. Nate won't talk at all. Whenever you ask him he busts
+      out swearin' and walks off. His wife's got such a temper that nobody dared
+      ask her, except the minister. He tried it, and ain't been the same man
+      since.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; the depot master smilingly scratched his chin, &ldquo;I cal'late I've
+      got those inside facts.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You HAVE?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes. Nate gave 'em to me, under protest. You see, I know Nate pretty
+      well. I know some things about him that . . . but never mind that part. I
+      asked him and, at last, he told me. I'll have to tell you in his words,
+      'cause half the fun was the way he told it and the way he looked at the
+      whole business. So you can imagine I'm Nate, and&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twill be a big strain on my imagination to b'lieve you're Nate Scudder,
+      Sol Berry.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Thanks. However, you'll have to do it for a spell. Well, Nate said that
+      it really begun when the Professor and Olivia landed at the Wellmouth
+      depot with the freight car full of junk. Of course, the actual beginnin'
+      was further back than that, when that Harmon man come on from Philadelphy
+      and hunted him up, makin' proclamation that a friend of his, a Mr. Van
+      Brunt of New York, had said that Scudder had a nice quiet island to let
+      and maybe he could hire it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Course Nate had an island&mdash;that little sun-dried sandbank a mile or
+      so off shore, abreast his house, which we used to call 'Horsefoot Bar.'
+      That crazy Van Brunt and his chum, Hartley, who lived there along with Sol
+      Pratt a year or so ago, re-christened it 'Ozone Island,' you remember.
+      Nate was willin' to let it. He'd let Tophet, if he owned it, and a fool
+      come along who wanted to hire it and could pay for the rent and heat.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So Nate and this Harmon feller rowed over to the Bar&mdash;to Ozone
+      Island, I mean&mdash;and the desolation and loneliness of it seemed to
+      suit him to perfection. So did the old house and big barn and all the
+      tumbledown buildin's stuck there in the beach-grass and sand. Afore they'd
+      left they made a dicker. He wa'n't the principal in it. He was the private
+      secretary and fust mate of Mr. Professor Ansel Hobart Dixland, the
+      scientist&mdash;perhaps Scudder'd heard of him?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Perhaps he had, but if so, Nate forgot it, though he didn't tell him
+      that. Harmon ordered a fifteen-foot-high board fence built all around the
+      house and barn, and made Nate swear not to tell a soul who was comin' nor
+      anything. Dixland might want the island two months, he said, or he might
+      want it two years. Nate didn't care. He was in for good pickin's, and
+      begun to pick by slicin' a liberal commission off that fencebuildin' job.
+      There was a whole passel of letters back and forth between Nate and
+      Harmon, and finally Nate got word to meet the victims at the depot.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There was the professor himself, an old dried-up relic with whiskers and
+      a temper; and there was Miss Olivia Dixland, his niece and housekeeper, a
+      slim, plain lookin' girl, who wore eyeglasses and a straight up and down
+      dress. And there was a freight car full of crates and boxes and land knows
+      what all. But nary sign was there of a private secretary and assistant.
+      The professor told Nate that Mr. Harmon's health had suddenly broke down
+      and he'd had to be sent South.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'It's a calamity,' says he; 'a real calamity! Harmon has been with me in
+      my work from the beginnin'; and now, just as it is approachin' completion,
+      he is taken away. They say he may die. It is very annoyin'.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Humph!' says Nate. 'Well, maybe it annoys HIM some, too; you can't tell.
+      What you goin' to do for a secretary?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I understand,' says the professor, 'that there is a person of
+      consider'ble scientific attainment residin' with you, Mr. Scudder, at
+      present. Harmon met him while he was here; they were in the same class at
+      college. Harmon recommended him highly. Olivia,' he says to the niece,
+      'what was the name of the young man whom Harmon recommended?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Tolliver, Uncle Ansel,' answers the girl, lookin' kind of disdainful at
+      Nate. Somehow he had the notion that she didn't take to him fust rate.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hey?' sings out Nate. 'Tolliver? Why, that's Augustus! AUGUSTUS! well,
+      I'll be switched!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Augustus Tolliver was Nate's nephew from up Boston way. Him and Nate was
+      livin' together at that time. Huldy Ann, Mrs. Scudder, was out West, in
+      Omaha, takin' care of a cousin of hers who was a chronic invalid and,
+      what's more to the purpose, owned a lot of stock in copper mines.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Augustus was a freckle-faced, spindle-shanked little critter, with
+      spectacles and a soft, polite way of speakin' that made you want to build
+      a fire under him to see if he could swear like a Christian. He had a big
+      head with consider'ble hair on the top of it and nothin' underneath but
+      what he called 'science' and 'sociology.' His science wa'n't nothin' but
+      tommy-rot to Nate, and the 'sociology' was some kind of drivel about
+      everybody bein' equal to everybody else, or better. 'Seemed to think 'twas
+      wrong to get a good price for a thing when you found a feller soft enough
+      to pay it. Did you ever hear the beat of that in your life?' says Nate.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;However, Augustus had soaked so much science and sociology into that weak
+      noddle of his that they kind of made him drunk, as you might say, and the
+      doctor had sent him down to board with the Scudders and sleep it off.
+      'Nervous prostration' was the way he had his symptoms labeled, and the
+      nerve part was all right, for if a hen flew at him he'd holler and run.
+      Scart! you never see such a scart cat in your born days. Scart of a boat,
+      scart of being seasick, scart of a gun, scart of everything! Most special
+      he was scart of Uncle Nate. The said uncle kept him that way so's he
+      wouldn't dast to kick at the grub him and Huldy Ann give him, I guess.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Augustus Tolliver,' says old Dixland, noddin'. 'Yes, that is the name.
+      Has he had a sound scientific trainin'?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Scientific trainin'!' says Nate. 'Scientific trainin'? Why, you bet he's
+      had it! That's the only kind of trainin' he HAS had. He'll be just the
+      feller for you, Mr. Dixland.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So that was settled, all but notifyin' Augustus. But Scudder sighted
+      another speculation in the offin', and hove alongside of it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Mr. Harmon, when he was here,' says he, 'he mentioned you needin' a
+      nice, dependable man to live on the island and be sort of general
+      roustabout. My wife bein' away just now, and all, it struck me that I
+      might as well be that man. Maybe my terms'll seem a little high, at fust
+      mention, but&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Very good,' says the professor, 'very good. I'm sure you'll be
+      satisfactory. Now please see to the unloading of that car. And be careful,
+      VERY careful.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Nate broke the news to Augustus that afternoon. He had his nose stuck in
+      a book, as usual, and never heard, so Nate yelled at him like a mate on a
+      tramp steamer, just to keep in trainin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Who? Who? Who? What? What?' squeals Augustus, jumpin' out of the chair
+      as if there was pins in it. 'What is it? Who did it? Oh, my poor nerves!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Drat your poor nerves!' Nate says. 'I've got a good promisin' job for
+      you. Listen to this.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then he told about the professor's wantin' Gus to be assistant and help
+      do what the old man called 'experiments.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Dixland?' says Gus, 'Ansel Hobart Dixland, the great scientist! And I'm
+      to be HIS assistant? Assistant to the man who discovered DIXIUM and
+      invented&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, belay there!' snorts Nate, impatient. Tell me this&mdash;he's awful
+      rich, ain't he?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Why, I believe&mdash;yes, Harmon said he was. But to think of MY bein'&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Now, nephew,' Nate cut in, 'let me talk to you a minute. Me and your
+      Aunt Huldy Ann have been mighty kind to you sence you've been here, and
+      here's your chance to do us a good turn. You stick close to science and
+      the professor and let me attend to the finances. If this family ain't well
+      off pretty soon it won't be your Uncle Nate's fault. Only don't you put
+      your oar in where 'tain't needed.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Lord love you, Gus didn't care about finances. He was so full of joy at
+      bein' made assistant to the great Ansel Whiskers Dixland that he forgot
+      everything else, nerves and all.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So in another day the four of 'em was landed on Ozone Island and so was
+      the freight-car load of crates and boxes. Grub and necessaries was to be
+      provided by Scudder&mdash;for salary as stated and commission understood.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It took Nate less than a week to find out what old Dixland was up to.
+      When he learned it, he set down in the sand and fairly snorted disgust.
+      The old idiot was cal'latin' to FLY. Seems that for years he'd been
+      experimentin' with what he called 'aeroplanes,' and now he'd reached the
+      stage where he b'lieved he could flap his wings and soar. 'Thinks I,' says
+      Nate, 'your life work's cut out for you, Nate Scudder. You'll spend the
+      rest of your days as gen'ral provider for the Ozone private asylum.' Well,
+      Scudder wa'n't complainin' none at the outlook. He couldn't make a good
+      livin' no easier.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The aeroplane was in sections in them boxes and crates. Nate and Augustus
+      and the professor got out the sections and fitted 'em together. The
+      buildin's on Ozone was all joined together&mdash;first the house, then the
+      ell, then the wash-rooms and big sheds, and, finally, the barn. There was
+      doors connectin', and you could go from house to barn, both downstairs and
+      up, without steppin' outside once.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas in the barn that they built what Whiskers called the 'flyin'
+      stage.' 'Twas a long chute arrangement on trestles, and the idea was that
+      the aeroplane was to get her start by slidin' down the chute, out through
+      the big doors and off by the atmosphere route to glory. I say that was the
+      IDEA. In practice she worked different.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Twice the professor made proclamations that everything was ready, and
+      twice they started that flyin' machine goin'. The fust time Dixland was at
+      the helm, and him and the aeroplane dropped headfust into the sandbank
+      just outside the barn. The machine was underneath, and the pieces of it
+      acted as a fender, so all the professor fractured was his temper. But it
+      took ten days to get the contraption ready for the next fizzle. Then poor,
+      shaky, scart Augustus was pilot, and he went so deep into the bank that
+      Nate says he wondered whether 'twas wuth while doin' anything but orderin'
+      the gravestone. But they dug him out at last, whole, but frightened blue,
+      and his nerves was worse than ever after that.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then old Dixland announces that he has discovered somethin' wrong in the
+      principle of the thing, and they had to wait while he ordered some new
+      fittin's from Boston.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Meanwhile there was other complications settin' in. Scudder was kept busy
+      providin' grub and such like and helpin' the niece, Olivia, with the
+      housework. Likewise he had his hands full keepin' the folks alongshore
+      from findin' out what was goin' on. All this flyin' foolishness had to be
+      a dead secret.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But, busy as he was, he found time to notice the thick acquaintance that
+      was developin' between Augustus and Olivia. Them two was what the minister
+      calls 'kindred sperrits.' Seems she was sufferin' from science same as he
+      was and, more'n that, she was loaded to the gunwale with 'social reform.'
+      To hear the pair of 'em go on about helpin' the poor and 'settlement work'
+      and such was enough, accordin' to Nate, to make you leave the table. But
+      there! He couldn't complain. Olivia was her uncle's only heir, and Nate
+      could see a rainbow of promise ahead for the Scudder family.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The niece was a nice, quiet girl. The only thing Nate had against her,
+      outside of the sociology craziness and her not seemin' to take a shine to
+      him, was her confounded pets. Nate said he never had no use for pets&mdash;lazy
+      critters, eatin' up the victuals and costin' money&mdash;but Olivia was
+      dead gone on 'em. She adopted an old reprobate of a tom-cat, which she
+      labeled 'Galileo,' after an Eyetalian who invented spyglasses or somethin'
+      similar, and a great big ugly dog that answered to the hail of 'Phillips
+      Brooks'; she named him that because she said the original Phillips was a
+      distinguished parson and a great philanthropist.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That dog was a healthy philanthropist. When Nate kicked him the first
+      time, he chased him the whole length of the barn. After that they had to
+      keep him chained up. He was just pinin' for a chance to swaller Scudder
+      whole, and he showed it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, as time went on, Olivia and Augustus got chummier and chummier.
+      Nate give 'em all the chance possible to be together, and as for old
+      Professor Whiskers, all he thought of, anyway, was his blessed flyin'
+      machine. So things was shapin' themselves well, 'cordin' to Scudder's
+      notion.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;One afternoon Nate come, unexpected, to the top of a sand hill at t'other
+      end of the island, and there, below, set Olivia and Augustus. He had a
+      clove hitch 'round her waist, and they was lookin' into each other's
+      spectacles as if they was windows in the pearly gates. Thinks Nate:
+      'They've signed articles,' and he tiptoed away, feelin' that life wa'n't
+      altogether an empty dream.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;They was lively hours, them that followed. To begin with, when Nate got
+      back to the barn he found the professor layin' on the floor, under the
+      flyin' stage, groanin' soulful but dismal. He'd slipped off one of the
+      braces of the trestles and sprained both wrists and bruised himself till
+      he wa'n't much more than one big lump. He hadn't bruised his tongue none
+      to speak of, though, and his language wa'n't sprained so that you'd notice
+      it. What broke him up most of all was that he'd got his aeroplane ready to
+      'fly' again, and now he was knocked out so's he couldn't be aboard when
+      she went off the ways.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'It is the irony of fate,' says he.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I got it off the blacksmith over to Wellmouth Centre,' Nate told him;
+      'but HE might have got it from Fate, or whoever you mean. 'Twas slippery
+      iron, I know that, and I warned you against steppin' on it yesterday.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The professor more'n hinted that Nate was a dunderhead idiot, and then he
+      commenced to holler for Tolliver; he wanted to see Tolliver right off.
+      Scudder thought he'd ought to see a doctor, but he wouldn't, so Nate
+      plastered him up best he could, got him into the big chair in the front
+      room, and went huntin' Augustus. Him and Olivia was still camped in the
+      sand bank. Gus's right arm had got tired by this time, I cal'late, but he
+      had a new hitch with his left. Likewise they was still starin' into each
+      other's specs.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Excuse me for interruptin' the mesmerism,' says Nate, 'but the professor
+      wants to see you.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;They jumped and broke away. But it took more'n that to bring 'em down out
+      of the clouds. They'd been flyin' a good sight higher than the old
+      aeroplane had yet.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Uncle Nathan,' says Augustus, gettin' up and shakin' hands, 'I have the
+      most wonderful news for you. It's hardly believable. You'll never guess
+      it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Give me three guesses and I'll win on the fust,' says Nate. 'You two are
+      engaged.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;They looked at him as if he'd done somethin' wonderful. 'But, Uncle,'
+      says Gus, shakin' hands again, 'just think! she's actually consented to
+      marry me.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Well, that's gen'rally understood to be a part of engagin', ain't it?'
+      says Nate. 'I'm glad to hear it. Miss Dixland, I congratulate you. You've
+      got a fine, promisin' young man.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That, to Nate's notion, was about the biggest lie he ever told, but
+      Olivia swallered it for gospel. She seemed to thaw toward Scudder a little
+      mite, but 'twa'n't at a permanent melt, by no means.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Thank you, Mr. Scudder,' says she, still pretty frosty. 'I am full aware
+      of Mr. Tolliver's merits. I'm glad to learn that YOU recognize them. He
+      has told some things concernin' his stay at your home which&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes, yes,' says Nate, kind of hurried. 'Well, I'm sorry to dump bad news
+      into a puddle of happiness like this, but your Uncle Ansel, Miss Dixland,
+      has been tryin' to fly without his machine, and he's sorry for it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then he told what had happened to the professor, and Olivia started on
+      the run for the house. Augustus was goin', too, but Nate held him back.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Wait a minute, Gus,' says he. 'Walk along with me; I want to talk with
+      you. Now, as an older man, your nighest relation, and one that's come to
+      love you like a son&mdash;yes, sir, like a son&mdash;I think it's my duty
+      just now to say a word of advice. You're goin' to marry a nice girl that's
+      comin' in for a lot of money one of these days. The professor, he's kind
+      of old, his roof leaks consider'ble, and this trouble is likely to hurry
+      the end along.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Now, then,' Nate goes on, 'Augustus, my boy, what are you and that
+      simple, childlike girl goin' to do with all that money? How are you goin'
+      to take care of it? You and 'Livia&mdash;you mustn't mind my callin' her
+      that 'cause she's goin' to be one of the family so soon&mdash;you'll want
+      to be fussin' with science and such, and you won't have no time to attend
+      to the finances. You'll need a good, safe person to be your financial
+      manager. Well, you know me and you know your Aunt Huldy Ann. WE know all
+      about financin'; WE'VE had experience. You just let us handle the bonds
+      and coupons and them trifles. We'll invest 'em for you. We'll be yours and
+      'Livia's financial managers. As for our wages, maybe they'll seem a little
+      high, but that's easy arranged. And&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Gus interrupted then. 'Oh, that's all settled,' he says. 'Olivia and I
+      have planned all that. When we're married we shall devote our lives to
+      social work&mdash;to settlement work. All the money we ever get we shall
+      use to help the poor. WE don't want any of it. We shall live AMONG the
+      poor, live just as frugally as they do. Our money we shall give&mdash;every
+      cent of it&mdash;to charity and&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Lord sakes!' yells Nate, 'DON'T talk that way! Don't! Be you crazy, too?
+      Why&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But Gus went on, talkin' a steady streak about livin' in a little
+      tenement in what he called the 'slums' and chuckin' the money to this
+      tramp and that, till Nate's head was whirlin'. 'Twa'n't no joke. He meant
+      it and so did she, and they was just the pair of loons to do it, too.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Afore Nate had a chance to think up anything sensible to say, Olivia
+      comes hollerin' for Gus to hurry. Off he went, and Nate followed along,
+      holdin' his head and staggerin' like a voter comin' home from a political
+      candidate's picnic. All he could think of was: 'THIS the end of all my
+      plannin'! What&mdash;WHAT'LL Huldy Ann say to THIS?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Nate found the professor bolstered up in his chair, with the other two
+      standin' alongside. He was layin' down the law about that blessed
+      aeroplane.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No! no! NO! I tell you!' he roars, 'I'll see no doctor. My invention is
+      ready at last, and, if I'm goin' to die, I'll die successful. Tolliver,
+      you've been a faithful worker with me, and yours shall be the privilege of
+      makin' the first flight. Wheel me to the window, Olivia, and let me see my
+      triumph.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But Olivia didn't move. Instead, she looked at Augustus and he at her.
+      'Wheel me to the window!' yells Dixland. 'Tolliver, what are you waitin' for?
+      The doors are open, the aeroplane is ready. Go this instant and fly.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Augustus was a bird all right, 'cordin' to Nate's opinion, but he didn't
+      seem anxious to spread his wings. He was white, and them nerves of his was
+      all in a twitter. If ever there was a scart critter, 'twas him then.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Go out and fly,' says Nate to him, pretty average ugly. 'Don't you hear
+      the boss's order? Here, professor, I'll push you to the window.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Thank you, Scudder,' says Dixland. And then turnin' to Gus: 'Well, sir,
+      may I ask why you wait?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas Olivia that answered. 'Uncle Ansel,' says she, 'I must tell you
+      somethin'. I should have preferred tellin' you privately,' she puts in,
+      glarin' at Nate, 'but it seems I can't. Mr. Tolliver and I are engaged to
+      be married.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Old Whiskers didn't seem to care a continental. All he had in his addled
+      head was that flyin' contraption.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'All right, all right,' he snaps, fretty, 'I'm satisfied. He appears to
+      be a decent young man enough. But now I want him to start my aeroplane.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No, Uncle Ansel,' goes on Olivia, 'I cannot permit him to risk his life
+      in that way. His nerves are not strong and neither is his heart. Besides,
+      the aeroplane has failed twice. Luckily no one was killed in the other
+      trials, but the chances are that the third time may prove fatal.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Fatal, you imbecile!' shrieks the professor. 'It's perfected, I tell
+      you! I&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'It makes no difference. No, uncle, Augustus and I have made up our
+      minds. His life and health are too precious; he must be spared for the
+      grand work that we are to do together. No, Uncle Ansel, he shall NOT fly.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Did you ever see a cat in a fit? That was the professor just then, so
+      Nate said. He tried to wave his sprained wrists and couldn't; tried to
+      stamp his foot and found it too lame. But his eyeglasses flashed sparks
+      and his tongue spit fire.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Are you goin' to start that machine?' he screams at the blue-white,
+      shaky Augustus.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No, Professor Dixland,' stammers Gus. 'No, sir, I'm sorry, but&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Why don't you ask Mr. Scudder to make the experiment, uncle?' suggests
+      that confounded niece, smilin' the spitefullest smile.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Scudder,' says the professor, 'I'll give you five thousand dollars cash
+      to start in that aeroplane this moment.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;For a jiffy Nate was staggered. Five thousand dollars CASH&mdash;whew!
+      But then he thought of how deep Gus had been shoved into that sandbank.
+      And there was a new and more powerful motor aboard the thing now. Five
+      thousand dollars ain't much good to a telescoped corpse. He fetched a long
+      breath.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Well, now, Mr. Dixland,' he says, 'I'd like to, fust rate, but you see I
+      don't know nothin' about mechanics.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Professor&mdash;' begins Augustus. 'Twas the final straw. Old Whiskers
+      jumped out of the chair, lameness and all.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Out of this house, you ingrate!' he bellers. 'Out this instant! I
+      discharge you. Go! go!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He was actually frothin' at the mouth. I cal'late Olivia thought he was
+      goin' to die, for she run to him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You'd better go, I think,' says she to her shakin' beau. 'Go, dear, now.
+      I must stay with him for the present, but we will see each other soon. Go
+      now, and trust me.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I disown you, you ungrateful girl,' foams her uncle. 'Scudder, I order
+      you to put that&mdash;that creature off this island.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes, sir,' says Nate, polite; 'in about two shakes of a heifer's tail.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He started for Augustus, and Gus started for the door. I guess Olivia
+      might have interfered, but just then the professor keels over in a kind of
+      faint and she had to tend to him. Gus darts out of the door with Nate
+      after him. Scudder reached the beach just as his nephew was shovin' off in
+      the boat, bound for the mainland.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Consarn your empty head!' Nate yelled after him. 'See what you get by
+      not mindin' me, don't you? I'm runnin' things on this island after this.
+      I'm boss here; understand? When you're ready to sign a paper deedin' over
+      ha'f that money your wife's goin' to get to me and Huldy Ann, maybe I'll
+      let you come back. And perhaps then I'll square things for you with
+      Dixland. But if you dare to set foot on these premises until then I'll
+      murder you; I'll drown you; I'll cut you up for bait; I'll feed you to the
+      dog.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He sculled off, his oars rattlin' 'Hark from the tomb' in the rowlocks.
+      He b'lieved Nate meant it all. Oh, Scudder had HIM trained all right.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0007" id="link2HCH0007">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER VII
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      CAPTAIN SOL DECIDES TO MOVE
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Trust Nate for that,&rdquo; interrupted Wingate. &ldquo;He's just as much a born
+      bully as he is a cheat and a skinflint.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yup,&rdquo; went on Captain Sol. &ldquo;Well, when Nate got back to the house the
+      professor was alone in the chair, lookin' sick and weak. Olivia was up in
+      her room havin' a cryin' fit. Nate got the old man to bed, made him some
+      clam soup and hot tea, and fetched and carried for him like he was a baby.
+      The professor's talk was mainly about the ungrateful desertion, as he
+      called it, of his assistant.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Keep him away from this island,' he says. 'If he comes, I shall commit
+      murder; I know it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Scudder promised that Augustus shouldn't come back. The professor wanted
+      guard kept night and day. Nate said he didn't know's he could afford so
+      much time, and Dixland doubled his wages on the spot. So Nate agreed to
+      stand double watches, made him comfort'ble for the night, and left him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Olivia didn't come downstairs again. She didn't seem to want any supper,
+      but Nate did and had it, a good one. Galileo, the cat, came yowlin'
+      around, and Nate kicked him under the sofy. Phillips Brooks was howlin'
+      starvation in the woodshed, and Scudder let him howl. If he starved to
+      death Nate wouldn't put no flowers on his grave. Take it altogether, he
+      was havin' a fairly good time.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And when, later on, he set alone up in his room over the kitchen, he
+      begun to have a better one. Prospects looked good. Maybe old Dixland WOULD
+      disown his niece. If he did, Nate figgered he was as healthy a candidate
+      for adoption as anybody. And Augustus would have to come to terms or stay
+      single. That is, unless him and Olivia got married on nothin' a week, paid
+      yearly. Nate guessed Huldy Ann would think he'd managed pretty well.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He set there for a long while, thinkin', and then he says he cal'lates he
+      must have dozed off. At any rate, next thing he knew he was settin' up
+      straight in his chair, listenin'. It seemed to him that he'd heard a sound
+      in the kitchen underneath.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He looked out of the window, and right away he noticed somethin'. 'Twas a
+      beautiful, clear moonlight night, and the high board fence around the
+      buildin's showed black against the white sand. And in that white strip was
+      a ten-foot white gape. Nate had shut that gate afore he went upstairs.
+      Who'd opened it? Then he heard the noise in the kitchen again. Somebody
+      was talkin' down there.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Nate got up and tiptoed acrost the room. He was in his stockin' feet, so
+      he didn't make a sound. He reached into the corner and took out his old
+      duck gun. It was loaded, both barrels. Nate cocked the gun and crept down
+      the back stairs.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There was a lamp burnin' low on the kitchen table, and there, in a couple
+      of chairs hauled as close together as they could be, set that Olivia niece
+      and Augustus. They was in a clove hitch again and whisperin' soft and
+      slushy.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;My! but Scudder was b'ilin'! He give one jump and landed in the middle of
+      that kitchen floor.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You&mdash;you&mdash;you!' he yelled, wavin' the shotgun. 'You're back
+      here, are you? You know what I told you I'd do to you? Well, now, I'll do
+      it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The pair of 'em had jumped about as far as Nate had, only the opposite
+      way. Augustus was a paralyzed statue, but Olivia had her senses with her.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Run, Augustus!' she screamed. 'He'll shoot you. Run!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And then, with a screech like a siren whistle, Augustus commenced to run.
+      Nate was between him and the outside door, so he bolted headfirst into the
+      dining room. And after him went Nate Scudder, so crazy mad he didn't know
+      what he was doin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas pitch dark in the dining room, but through it they went rattlety
+      bang! dishes smashin', chairs upsettin' and 'hurrah, boys!' to pay
+      gen'rally. Then through the best parlor and into the front hall.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I cal'late Nate would have had him at the foot of the front stairs if it
+      hadn't been for Galileo. That cat had been asleep on the sofy, and the
+      noise and hullabaloo had stirred him up till he was as crazy as the rest
+      of 'em. He run right under Nate's feet and down went Nate sprawlin' and
+      both barrels of the shotgun bust loose like a couple of cannon.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Galileo took for tall timber, whoopin' anthems. Up them front stairs went
+      Augustus, screechin' shrill, like a woman; he was SURE Nate meant to
+      murder him now. And after him his uncle went on all fours, swearin'
+      tremendous.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then 'twas through one bedroom after another, and each one more crowded
+      with noisy, smashable things than that previous. Nate said he could
+      remember the professor roarin' 'Fire!' and 'Help!' as the two of 'em
+      bumped into his bed, but they didn't stop&mdash;they was too busy. The
+      whole length of the house upstairs they traveled, then through the ell,
+      then the woodshed loft, and finally out into the upper story of the barn.
+      And there Nate knew he had him. The ladder was down.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Now!' says Nate. 'Now, you long-legged villain, if I don't give you
+      what's comin' to you, then&mdash;Oh, there ain't no use in your climbin'
+      out there; you can't get down.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The big barn doors was open, and, in the moonlight, Nate could see Gus
+      scramblin' up and around on the flyin' stage where the professor's
+      aeroplane was perched, lookin' like some kind of magnified June bug.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Come back, you fool!' Scudder yelled at him. 'Come back and be
+      butchered. You might as well; it's too high for you to drop. You won't?
+      Then I'll come after you.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Nate says he never shall forget Augustus's face in the blue light when he
+      see his uncle climbin' out on that stage after him. He was simply
+      desperate&mdash;that's it, desperate. And the next thing he did was jump
+      into the saddle of the machine and pull the startin' lever.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There was the buzz of the electric motor, a slippery, slidin' sound, one
+      awful hair-raisin' whoop from Augustus, and then&mdash;'F-s-s-s-t!'&mdash;down
+      the flyin' stage whizzed that aeroplane and out through the doors.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Nate set down on the trestles and waited for the sound of the smash. I
+      guess he actually felt conscience stricken. Of course, he'd only done his
+      duty, and yet&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But no smash came. Instead, there was a long scream from the kitchen&mdash;Olivia's
+      voice that was. And then another yell that for pure joy beat anything ever
+      heard.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'It flies!' screamed Professor Ansel Hobart Whiskers Dixland, from his
+      bedroom window. 'At last! At last! It FLIES!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It took Nate some few minutes to paw his way back through the shed loft
+      and the ell over the things him and Gus knocked down on the fust lap,
+      until he got to his room where the trouble had started. Then he went down
+      to the kitchen and outdoor.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Olivia, a heavenly sort of look on her face, was standin' in the
+      moonlight, with her hands clasped, lookin' up at the sky.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'It flies!' says she, in a kind of whisper over and over again. 'Oh! it
+      FLIES!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Alongside of her was old Dixland, wrapped in a bedquilt, forgettin' all
+      about sprains and lameness; and he likewise was staring at the sky and
+      sayin' over and over:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'It flies! It really FLIES!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And Nate looked up, and there, scootin' around in circles, now up high
+      and now down low, tippin' this way and tippin' that, was that aeroplane.
+      And in the stillness you could hear the buzz of the motor and the yells of
+      Augustus.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Down flopped Scudder in the sand. 'Great land of love,' he says, 'it
+      FLIES!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, for five minutes or so they watched that thing swoop and duck and
+      sail up there overhead. And then, slow and easy as a feather in a May
+      breeze, down she flutters and lands soft on a hummock a little ways off.
+      And that Augustus&mdash;a fool for luck&mdash;staggers out of it safe and
+      sound, and sets down and begins to cry.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The fust thing to reach him was Olivia. She grabbed him around the neck,
+      and you never heard such goin's on as them two had. Nate come hurryin' up.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Here you!' he says, pullin' 'em apart. 'That's enough of this. And you,'
+      he adds to Gus, 'clear right out off this island. I won't make shark bait
+      of you this time, but&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And then comes Dixland, hippity-hop over the hummocks. 'My noble boy!' he
+      sings out, fallin' all of a heap onto Augustus's round shoulders. 'My
+      noble boy! My hero!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Nate looked on for a full minute with his mouth open. Olivia went away
+      toward the house. The professor and Gus was sheddin' tears like a couple
+      of waterin' pots.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Come! come!' says Scudder finally; 'get up, Mr. Dixland; you'll catch
+      cold. Now then, you Tolliver, toddle right along to your boat. Don't you
+      worry, professor, I'll fix him so's he won't come here no more.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But the professor turned on him like a flash.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'How dare you interfere?' says he. 'I forgive him everything. He is a
+      hero. Why, man, he FLEW!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Olivia came up behind and touched Nate on the shoulders. 'Don't you think
+      you'd better go, Mr. Scudder?' she purred. 'I've unchained Phillips
+      Brooks.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Nate swears he never made better time than he done gettin' to the shore
+      and the boat Augustus had come over in. But that philanthropist dog only
+      missed the supper he'd been waitin' for by about a foot and a half, even
+      as 'twas.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And that was the end of it, fur's Nate was concerned. Olivia was boss
+      from then on, and Scudder wa'n't allowed to land on his own island. And
+      pretty soon they all went away, flyin' machine and all, and now Gus and
+      Olivia are married.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, by gum!&rdquo; cried Wingate. &ldquo;Say, that must have broke Nate's heart
+      completely. All that good money goin' to the poor. Ha! ha!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; said Captain Sol, with a broad grin. &ldquo;Nate told me that every time
+      he realized that Gus's flyin' at all was due to his scarin' him into it,
+      it fairly made him sick of life.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What did Huldy Ann say? I'll bet the fur flew when SHE heard of it!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I guess likely it did. Scudder says her jawin's was the worst of all. Her
+      principal complaint was that he didn't take up with the professor's
+      five-thousand offer and try to fly. 'What if 'twas risky?' she says. 'If
+      anything happened to you the five thousand would have come to your heirs,
+      wouldn't it? But no! you never think of no one but yourself.'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Wingate glanced at his watch. &ldquo;Good land!&rdquo; he cried, &ldquo;I didn't realize
+      'twas so late. I must trot along down and meet Stitt. He and I are goin'
+      to corner the clam market.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I must be goin', too,&rdquo; said the depot master, rising and moving toward
+      the door, picking up his cap on the way. He threw open the door and
+      exclaimed, &ldquo;Hello! here's Sim. What you got on your mind, Sim?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Phinney looked rather solemn. &ldquo;I wanted to speak with you a minute,
+      Sol,&rdquo; he began. &ldquo;Hello! Barzilla, I didn't know you was here.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I shan't be here but one second longer,&rdquo; replied Mr. Wingate, as he and
+      Phinney shook hands. &ldquo;I'm late already. Bailey'll think I ain't comin'.
+      Good-by, boys. See you this afternoon, maybe.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, do,&rdquo; cried Berry, as his guest hurried down to the gate. &ldquo;I want to
+      hear about those automobiles over your way. You ain't bought one, have
+      you, Barzilla?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Wingate grinned over his shoulder. &ldquo;No,&rdquo; he called, &ldquo;I ain't. But other
+      folks you know have. It's the biggest joke on earth. You and Sim'll want
+      to hear it.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He waved a big hand and walked briskly up the Shore Road. The depot master
+      turned to his friend.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, Sim?&rdquo; he asked.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, Sol,&rdquo; answered the building mover gravely, &ldquo;I've just met Mr.
+      Hilton, the minister, and he told me somethin' about Olive Edwards,
+      somethin' I thought you'd want to know. You said for me to find out what
+      she was cal'latin' to do when she had to give up her home and&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I know what I said,&rdquo; interrupted the depot master rather sharply. &ldquo;What
+      did Hilton say?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Mr. Hilton told me not to tell,&rdquo; continued Phinney, &ldquo;and I shan't tell
+      nobody but you, Sol. I know you wont t mention it. The minister says that
+      Olive's hard up as she can be. All she's got in the world is the little
+      furniture and store stuff in her house. The store stuff don't amount to
+      nothin', but the furniture belonged to her pa and ma, and she set a heap
+      by it. Likewise, as everybody knows, she's awful proud and
+      self-respectin'. Anything like charity would kill her. Now out West&mdash;in
+      Omaha or somewheres&mdash;she's got a cousin who owed her dad money. Old
+      Cap'n Seabury lent this Omaha man two or three thousand dollars and set
+      him up in business. Course, the debt's outlawed, but Olive don't realize
+      that, or, if she did, it wouldn't count with her. She couldn't understand
+      how law would have any effect on payin' money you honestly owe. She's
+      written to the Omaha cousin, tellin' him what a scrape she's in and askin'
+      him to please, if convenient, let her have a thousand or so on account.
+      She figgers if she gets that, she can go to Bayport or Orham or somewheres
+      and open another notion store.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Berry lit a cigar. &ldquo;Hum!&rdquo; he said, after a minute. &ldquo;You say she's
+      written to this chap. Has she got an answer yet?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No, not any definite one. She heard from the man's wife sayin' that her
+      husband&mdash;the cousin&mdash;had gone on a fishin' trip somewheres up in
+      Canady and wouldn't be back afore the eighth of next month. Soon's he does
+      come he'll write her. But Mr. Hilton thinks, and so do I&mdash;havin'
+      heard a few things about this cousin&mdash;that it's mighty doubtful if he
+      sends any money.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, I shouldn't wonder. Where's Olive goin' to stay while she's waitin'
+      to hear?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;In her own house. Mr. Hilton went to Williams and pleaded with him, and
+      he finally agreed to let her stay there until the 'Colonial' is moved onto
+      the lot. Then the Edwardses house'll be tore down and Olive'll have to go,
+      of course.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The depot master puffed thoughtfully at his cigar.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She won't hear before the tenth, at the earliest,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;And if
+      Williams begins to move his 'Colonial' at once, he'll get it to her lot by
+      the seventh, sure. Have you given him your figures for the job?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Handed 'em in this very mornin'. One of his high-and-mighty servants, all
+      brass buttons and braid, like a feller playin' in the band, took my letter
+      and condescended to say he'd pass it on to Williams. I'd liked to have
+      kicked the critter, just to see if he COULD unbend; but I jedged
+      'twouldn't be good business.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Probably not. If the 'Colonial' gets to Olive's lot afore she hears from
+      the Omaha man, what then?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, that's the worst of it. The minister don't know what she'll do.
+      There's plenty of places where she'd be more'n welcome to visit a spell,
+      but she's too proud to accept. Mr. Hilton's afraid she'll start for Boston
+      to hunt up a job, or somethin'. You know how much chance she stands of
+      gettin' a job that's wuth anything.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Phinney paused, anxiously awaiting his companion's reply. When it came it
+      was very unsatisfactory.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I'm goin' to the depot,&rdquo; said the Captain, brusquely. &ldquo;So long, Sim.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He slammed the door of the house behind him, strode to the gate, flung it
+      open, and marched on. Simeon gazed in astonishment, then hurried to
+      overtake him. Ranging alongside, he endeavored to reopen the conversation,
+      but to no purpose. The depot master would not talk. They turned into Cross
+      Street.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well!&rdquo; exclaimed Mr. Phinney, panting from his unaccustomed hurry, &ldquo;what
+      be we, runnin' a race? Why! . . . Oh, how d'ye do, Mr. Williams, sir? Want
+      to see me, do you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The magnate of East Harniss stepped forward.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Er&mdash;Phinney,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;I want a moment of your time. Morning,
+      Berry.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Mornin', Williams,&rdquo; observed Captain Sol brusquely. &ldquo;All right, Sim. I'll
+      wait for you farther on.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He continued his walk. The building mover stood still. Mr. Williams
+      frowned with lofty indignation.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Phinney,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;I've just looked over those figures of yours, your
+      bid for moving my new house. The price is ridiculous.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Simeon attempted a pleasantry. &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; he answered, &ldquo;I thought 'twas
+      ridic'lous myself; but I needed the money, so I thought I could afford to
+      be funny.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The Williams frown deepened.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I didn't mean ridiculously low,&rdquo; he snapped; &ldquo;I meant ridiculously high.
+      I'd rather help out you town fellows if I can, but you can't work me for a
+      good thing. I've written to Colt and Adams, of Boston, and accepted their
+      offer. You had your chance and didn't see fit to take it. That's all. I'm
+      sorry.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Simeon was angry; also a trifle skeptical.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Mr. Williams,&rdquo; he demanded, &ldquo;do you mean to tell me that THEM people have
+      agreed to move you cheaper'n I can?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Their price&mdash;their actual price may be no lower; but considering
+      their up-to-date outfit and&mdash;er&mdash;progressive methods, they're
+      cheaper. Yes. Morning, Phinney.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He turned on his heel and walked off. Mr. Phinney, crestfallen and angrier
+      than ever, moved on to where the depot master stood waiting for him.
+      Captain Sol smiled grimly.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You don't look merry as a Christmas tree, Sim,&rdquo; he observed. &ldquo;What did
+      his Majesty have to say to you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Simeon related the talk with Williams. The depot master's grim smile grew
+      broader.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sim,&rdquo; he asked, with quiet sarcasm, &ldquo;don't you realize that progressive
+      methods are necessary in movin' a house?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Phinney tried to smile in return, but the attempt was a failure.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; went on the Captain. &ldquo;Well, if you can't take the Grand Panjandrum
+      home, you can set on the fence and see him go by. That ought to be honor
+      enough, hadn't it? However, I may need some of your ridiculous figgers on
+      a movin' job of my own, pretty soon. Don't be TOO comical, will you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What do you mean by that, Sol Berry?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I mean that I may decide to move my own house.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Move your OWN house? Where to, for mercy sakes?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;To that lot on Main Street that belongs to Abner Payne. Abner has wanted
+      to buy my lot here on the Shore Road for a long time. He knows it'll make
+      a fine site for some rich bigbug's summer 'cottage.' He would have bought
+      the house, too, but I think too much of that to sell it. Now Abner's come
+      back with another offer. He'll swap my lot for the Main Street one, pay my
+      movin' expenses and a fair 'boot' besides. He don't really care for my
+      HOUSE, you understand; it's my LAND he's after.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Are you goin' to take it up?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I don't know. The Main Street lot's a good one, and my house'll look good
+      on it. And I'll make money by the deal.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, but you've always swore by that saltwater view of yours. Told me
+      yourself you never wanted to live anywheres else.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Sol took the cigar from his lips, looked at it, then threw it
+      violently into the gutter.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What difference does it make where I live?&rdquo; he snarled. &ldquo;Who in blazes
+      cares where I live or whether I live at all?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sol Berry, what on airth&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Shut up! Let me alone, Sim! I ain't fit company for anybody just now.
+      Clear out, there's a good feller.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The next moment he was striding down the hill. Mr. Phinney drew a long
+      breath, scratched his head and shook it solemnly. WHAT did it all mean?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0008" id="link2HCH0008">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER VIII
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      THE OBLIGATIONS OF A GENTLEMAN
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      The methods of Messrs. Colt and Adams, the Boston firm of building movers,
+      were certainly progressive, if promptness in getting to work is any
+      criterion. Two days after the acceptance of their terms by Mr. Williams, a
+      freight car full of apparatus arrived at East Harniss. Then came a foreman
+      and a gang of laborers. Horses were hired, and within a week the &ldquo;pure
+      Colonial&rdquo; was off its foundations and on its way to the Edwards lot. The
+      moving was no light task. The big house must be brought along the Shore
+      Road to the junction with the Hill Boulevard, then swung into that
+      aristocratic highway and carried up the long slope, around the wide curve,
+      to its destination.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Phinney, though he hated the whole operation, those having it in
+      charge, and the mighty Williams especially, could not resist stealing down
+      to see how his successful rivals were progressing with the work he had
+      hoped to do. It caused him much chagrin to see that they were getting on
+      so very well. One morning, after breakfast, as he stood at the corner of
+      the Boulevard and the Shore Road, he found himself engaged in a mental
+      calculation.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Three days more and they would swing into the Boulevard; four or five days
+      after that and they would be abreast the Edwards lot. Another day and . .
+      . Poor Olive! She would be homeless. Where would she go? It was too early
+      for a reply from the Omaha cousin, but Simeon, having questioned the
+      minister, had little hope that that reply would be favorable. Still it was
+      a chance, and if the money SHOULD come before the &ldquo;pure Colonial&rdquo; reached
+      the Edwards lot, then the widow would at least not be driven penniless
+      from her home. She would have to leave that home in any event, but she
+      could carry out her project of opening another shop in one of the
+      neighboring towns. Otherwise . . . Mr. Phinney swore aloud.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Humph!&rdquo; said a voice behind him. &ldquo;I agree with you, though I don't know
+      what it's all about. I ain't heard anything better put for a long while.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Simeon spun around, as he said afterwards, &ldquo;like a young one's pinwheel.&rdquo;
+       At his elbow stood Captain Berry, the depot master, hands in pockets,
+      cigar in mouth, the personification of calmness and imperturbability. He
+      had come out of his house, which stood close to the corner, and walked
+      over to join his friend.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Land of love!&rdquo; exclaimed Simeon. &ldquo;Why don't you scare a fellow to death,
+      tiptoein' around? I never see such a cat-foot critter!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Sol smiled. &ldquo;Jumpin' it, ain't they?&rdquo; he said, nodding toward the
+      &ldquo;Colonial.&rdquo; &ldquo;Be there by the tenth, won't it?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Tenth!&rdquo; Mr. Phinney sniffed disgust. &ldquo;It'll be there by the sixth, or I
+      miss my guess.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yup. Say, Sim, how soon could you land that shanty of mine in the road if
+      I give you the job to move it?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I couldn't get it up to the Main Street lot inside of a fortnight,&rdquo;
+       replied Sim, after a moment's reflection. &ldquo;Fur's gettin' it in the road
+      goes, I could have it here day after to-morrow if I had gang enough.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The depot master took the cigar out of his mouth and blew a ring of smoke.
+      &ldquo;All right,&rdquo; he drawled, &ldquo;get gang enough.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Phinney jumped. &ldquo;You mean you've decided to take up with Payne's offer and
+      swap your lot for his?&rdquo; he gasped. &ldquo;Why, only two or three days ago you
+      said&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ya-as. That was two or three days ago, and I've been watchin' the
+      'Colonial' since. I cal'late the movin' habit's catchin'. You have your
+      gang here by noon to-day.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sol Berry, are you crazy? You ain't seen Abner Payne; he's out of town&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Don't have to see him. He's made me an offer and I'll write and accept
+      it.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But you've got to have a selectmen's permit to move&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Got it. I went up and saw the chairman an hour ago. He's a friend of
+      mine. I nominated him town-meetin' day.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But,&rdquo; stammered Phinney, very much upset by the suddenness of it all,
+      &ldquo;you ain't got my price nor&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Drat your price! Give it when I ask it. See here, Sim, are you goin' to
+      have my house in the middle of the road by day after to-morrer? Or was
+      that just talk?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twa'n't talk. I can have it there, but&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;All right,&rdquo; said Captain Sol coolly, &ldquo;then have it.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Hands in pockets, he strolled away. Simeon sat down on a rock by the
+      roadside and whistled.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      However, whistling was a luxurious and time-wasting method of expressing
+      amazement, and Mr. Phinney could not afford luxuries just then. For the
+      rest of that day he was a busy man. As Bailey Stitt expressed it, he &ldquo;flew
+      round like a sand flea in a mitten,&rdquo; hiring laborers, engaging masons, and
+      getting his materials ready. That very afternoon the masons began tearing
+      down the chimneys of the little Berry house. Before the close of the
+      following day it was on the rollers. By two of the day after that it was
+      in the middle of the Shore Road, just when its mover had declared it
+      should be. They were moving it, furniture and all, and Captain Sol was, as
+      he said, going to &ldquo;stay right aboard all the voyage.&rdquo; No cooking could be
+      done, of course, but the Captain arranged to eat at Mrs. Higgins's
+      hospitable table during the transit. His sudden freak was furnishing
+      material for gossip throughout the village, but he did not care. Gossip
+      concerning his actions was the last thing in the world to trouble Captain
+      Sol Berry.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Williams's &ldquo;Colonial&rdquo; was moving toward the corner at a rapid rate,
+      and the foreman of the Boston moving firm walked over to see Mr. Phinney.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Say,&rdquo; he observed to Simeon, who, the perspiration streaming down his
+      face, was resting for a moment before recommencing his labor of arranging
+      rollers; &ldquo;say,&rdquo; observed the foreman, &ldquo;we'll be ready to turn into the
+      Boulevard by tomorrer night and you're blockin' the way.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That's all right,&rdquo; said Simeon, &ldquo;we'll be past the Boulevard corner by
+      that time.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He thought he was speaking the truth, but next morning, before work began,
+      Captain Berry appeared. He had had breakfast and strolled around to the
+      scene of operations.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; asked Phinney, &ldquo;how'd it seem to sleep on wheels?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Tiptop,&rdquo; replied the depot master. &ldquo;Like it fust rate. S'pose my next
+      berth will be somewheres up there, won't it?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He was pointing around the corner instead of straight ahead. Simeon gaped,
+      his mouth open.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Up THERE?&rdquo; he cried. &ldquo;Why, of course not. That's the Boulevard. We're
+      goin' along the Shore Road.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That so? I guess not. We're goin' by the Boulevard. Can go that way,
+      can't we?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Can?&rdquo; repeated Simeon aghast. &ldquo;Course we CAN! But it's like boxin' the
+      whole compass backward to get ha'f a p'int east of no'th. It's way round
+      Robin Hood's barn. It'll take twice as long and cost&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That's good,&rdquo; interrupted the Captain. &ldquo;I like to travel, and I'm willin'
+      to pay for it. Think of the view I'll get on the way.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But your permit from the selectmen&mdash;&rdquo; began Phinney. Berry held up
+      his hand.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;My permit never said nothin' about the course to take,&rdquo; he answered, his
+      eye twinkling just a little. &ldquo;There, Sim, you're wastin' time. I move by
+      the Hill Boulevard.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      And into the Boulevard swung the Berry house. The Colt and Adams foreman
+      was an angry man when he saw the beams laid in that direction. He rushed
+      over and asked profane and pointed questions.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Thought you said you was goin' straight ahead?&rdquo; he demanded.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Thought I was,&rdquo; replied Simeon, &ldquo;but, you see, I'm only navigator of this
+      craft, not owner.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Where is the blankety blank?&rdquo; asked the foreman.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;If you're referrin' to Cap'n Berry, I cal'late you'll find him at the
+      depot,&rdquo; answered Phinney. To the depot went the foreman. Receiving little
+      satisfaction there, he hurried to the home of his employer, Mr. Williams.
+      The magnate, red-faced and angry, returned with him to the station.
+      Captain Sol received them blandly. Issy, who heard the interview which
+      followed, declared that the depot master was so cool that &ldquo;an iceberg was
+      a bonfire 'longside of him.&rdquo; Issy's description of this interview, given
+      to a dozen townspeople within the next three hours, was as follows:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Mr. Williams,&rdquo; said the wide-eyed Issy, &ldquo;he comes postin' into the
+      waitin' room, his foreman with him. Williams marches over to Cap'n Sol and
+      he says, 'Berry,' he says, 'are you responsible for the way that house of
+      yours is moved?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Cap'n Sol bowed and smiled. 'Yes,' says he, sweet as a fresh scallop.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You're movin' it to Main Street, aren't you? I so understood.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You understood correct. That's where she's bound.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Then what do you mean by turning out of your road and into mine?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, I don't own any road. Have you bought the Boulevard? The selectmen
+      ought to have told us that. I s'posed it was town thoroughfare.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Mr. Williams colored up a little. 'I didn't mean my road in that sense,'
+      he says. 'But the direct way to Main Street is along the shore, and
+      everybody knows it. Now why do you turn from that into the Boulevard?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Cap'n Sol took a cigar from his pocket. 'Have one?' says he, passin' it
+      toward Mr. Williams. 'No? Too soon after breakfast, I s'pose. Why do I
+      turn off?' he goes on. 'Well, I'll tell you. I'm goin' to stay right
+      aboard my shack while it's movin', and it's so much pleasanter a ride up
+      the hill that I thought I'd go that way. I always envied them who could
+      afford a house on the Boulevard, and now I've got the chance to have one
+      there&mdash;for a spell. I'm sartin I shall enjoy it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The foreman growled, disgusted. Mr. Williams got redder yet.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Don't you understand?' he snorts. 'You're blockin' the way of the house
+      I'M movin'. I have capable men with adequate apparatus to move it, and
+      they would be able to go twice as fast as your one-horse country outfit.
+      You're blockin' the road. Now they must follow you. It's an outrage!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Cap'n Sol smiled once more. 'Too bad,' says he. 'It's a pity such a nice
+      street ain't wider. If it was my street in my town&mdash;I b'lieve that's
+      what you call East Harniss, ain't it?&mdash;seems to me I'd widen it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The boss of 'my town' ground his heel into the sand. 'Berry,' he snaps,
+      'are you goin' to move that house over the Boulevard ahead of mine?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The Cap'n looked him square in the eye. 'Williams,' says he, 'I am.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The millionaire turned short and started to go.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You'll pay for it,' he snarls, his temper gettin' free at last.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I cal'late to,' purrs the Cap'n. 'I gen'rally do pay for what I want,
+      and a fair price, at that. I never bought in cheap mortgages and held 'em
+      for clubs over poor folks, never in my life. Good mornin'.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And right to Mr. Williams's own face, too,&rdquo; concluded Issy. &ldquo;WHAT do you
+      think of that?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Here was defiance of authority and dignity, a sensation which should have
+      racked East Harniss from end to end. But most of the men in the village,
+      the tradespeople particularly, had another matter on their minds, namely,
+      Major Cuthbertson Scott Hardee, of &ldquo;Silverleaf Hall.&rdquo; The Major and his
+      debts were causing serious worriment.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The creditors of the Major met, according to agreement, on the Monday
+      evening following their previous gathering at the club. Obed Gott, one of
+      the first to arrive, greeted his fellow members with an air of gloomy
+      triumph and a sort of condescending pity.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Higgins, the &ldquo;general store&rdquo; keeper, acting as self-appointed chairman,
+      asked if anyone had anything to report. For himself, he had seen the Major
+      and asked point-blank for payment of his bill. The Major had been very
+      polite and was apparently much concerned that his fellow townsmen should
+      have been inconvenienced by any neglect of his. He would write to his
+      attorneys at once, so he said.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He said a whole lot more, too,&rdquo; added Higgins. &ldquo;Said he had never been
+      better served than by the folks in this town, and that I kept a fine
+      store, and so on and so forth. But I haven't got any money yet. Anybody
+      else had any better luck?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      No one had, although several had had similar interviews with the master of
+      &ldquo;Silverleaf Hall.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Obed looks as if he knew somethin',&rdquo; remarked Weeks. &ldquo;What is it, Obed?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Gott scornfully waved his hand.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You fellers make me laugh,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;You talk and talk, but you don't do
+      nothin'. I b'lieve in doin', myself. When I went home t'other night,
+      thinks I: 'There's one man that might know somethin' 'bout old Hardee, and
+      that's Godfrey, the hotel man.' So I wrote to Godfrey up to Boston and I
+      got a letter from him. Here 'tis.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He read the letter aloud. Mr. Godfrey wrote that he knew nothing about
+      Major Hardee further than that he had been able to get nothing from him in
+      payment for his board.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So I seized his trunk,&rdquo; the letter concluded. &ldquo;There was nothing in it
+      worth mentioning, but I took it on principle. The Major told me a lot
+      about writing to his attorneys for money, but I didn't pay much attention
+      to that. I'm afraid he's an old fraud, but I can't help liking him, and if
+      I had kept on running my hotel I guess he would have got away scot-free.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There!&rdquo; exclaimed the triumphant Obed, with a sneer, &ldquo;I guess that
+      settles it, don't it? Maybe you'd be willin' to turn your bills over to
+      Squire Baker now.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      But they were not willing. Higgins argued, and justly, that although the
+      Major was in all probability a fraud, not even a lawyer could get water
+      out of a stone, and that when a man had nothing, suing him was a waste of
+      time and cash.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Besides,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;there's just a chance that he may have attorneys and
+      property somewheres else. Let's write him a letter and every one of us
+      sign it, tellin' him that we'll call on him Tuesday night expectin' to be
+      paid in full. If we call and don't get any satisfaction, why, we ain't any
+      worse off, and then we can&mdash;well, run him out of town, if nothin'
+      more.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      So the letter was written and signed by every man there. It was a long
+      list of signatures and an alarming total of indebtedness. The letter was
+      posted that night.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The days that followed seemed long to Obed. He was ill-natured at home and
+      ugly at the shop, and Polena declared that he was &ldquo;gettin' so a body
+      couldn't live with him.&rdquo; Her own spirits were remarkably high, and Obed
+      noticed that, as the days went by, she seemed to be unusually excited. On
+      Thursday she announced that she was going to Orham to visit her niece, one
+      Sarah Emma Cahoon, and wouldn't be back right off. He knew better than to
+      object, and so she went.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      That evening each of the signers of the letter to Major Hardee received a
+      courteous note saying that the Major would be pleased to receive the
+      gentlemen at the Hall. Nothing was said about payment.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      So, after some discussion, the creditors marched in procession across the
+      fields and up to &ldquo;Silverleaf Hall.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hardee's been to Orham to-day,&rdquo; whispered the keeper of the livery
+      stable, as they entered the yard. &ldquo;He drove over this mornin' and come
+      back to-night.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;DROVE over!&rdquo; exclaimed Obed, halting in his tracks. &ldquo;He did? Where'd he
+      get the team? I'll bet five dollars you was soft enough to let him have
+      it, and never said a word. Well, if you ain't&mdash;By jimmy! you wait
+      till I get at him! I'll show you that he can't soft soap me.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Augustus met them at the door and ushered them into the old-fashioned
+      parlor. The Major, calm, cool, and imperturbably polite, was waiting to
+      receive them. He made some observation concerning the weather.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The day's fine enough,&rdquo; interrupted Obed, pushing to the front, &ldquo;but that
+      ain't what we come here to talk about. Are you goin' to pay us what you
+      owe? That's what we want to know.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The &ldquo;gentleman of the old school&rdquo; did not answer immediately. Instead he
+      turned to the solemn servant at his elbow.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Augustus,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;you may make ready.&rdquo; Then, looking serenely at the
+      irate Mr. Gott, whose clenched fist rested under the center table, which
+      he had thumped to emphasize his demands, the Major asked:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I beg your pardon, my dear sir, but what is the total of my indebtedness
+      to you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Nineteen dollars and twenty-eight cents, and I want you to understand
+      that&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Major Hardee held up a slim, white hand.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;One moment, if you please,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Now, Augustus.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Augustus opened the desk in the corner and produced an imposing stack of
+      bank notes. Then he brought forth neat piles of halves, quarters, dimes,
+      and pennies, and arranged the whole upon the table. Obed's mouth and those
+      of his companions gaped in amazement.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Have you your bill with you, Mr. Gott?&rdquo; inquired the Major.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Dazedly Mr. Gott produced the required document.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Thank you. Augustus, nineteen twenty-eight to this gentleman. Kindly
+      receipt the bill, Mr. Gott, if you please. A mere formality, of course,
+      but it is well to be exact. Thank you, sir. And now, Mr. Higgins.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      One by one the creditors shamefacedly stepped forward, received the amount
+      due, receipted the bill, and stepped back again. Mr. Peters, the
+      photographer, was the last to sign.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Gentlemen,&rdquo; said the Major, &ldquo;I am sorry that my carelessness in financial
+      matters should have caused you this trouble, but now that you are here, a
+      representative gathering of East Harniss's men of affairs, upon this night
+      of all nights, it seems fitting that I should ask for your
+      congratulations. Augustus.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The wooden-faced Augustus retired to the next room and reappeared carrying
+      a tray upon which were a decanter and glasses.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Gentlemen,&rdquo; continued the Major, &ldquo;I have often testified to my admiration
+      and regard for your&mdash;perhaps I may now say OUR&mdash;charming
+      village. This admiration and regard has extended to the fair daughters of
+      the township. It may be that some of you have conscientious scruples
+      against the use of intoxicants. These scruples I respect, but I am sure
+      that none of you will refuse to at least taste a glass of wine with me
+      when I tell you that I have this day taken one of the fairest to love and
+      cherish during life.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He stepped to the door of the dining room, opened it, and said quietly,
+      &ldquo;My dear, will you honor us with your presence?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      There was a rustle of black silk and there came through the doorway the
+      stately form of her who had been Mrs. Polena Ginn.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Gentlemen,&rdquo; said the Major, &ldquo;permit me to present to you my wife, the new
+      mistress of 'Silverleaf Hall.'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The faces of the ex-creditors were pictures of astonishment. Mr. Gott's
+      expressive countenance turned white, then red, and then settled to a
+      mottled shade, almost as if he had the measles. Polena rushed to his side.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;O Obed!&rdquo; she exclaimed. &ldquo;I know we'd ought to have told you, but 'twas
+      only Tuesday the Major asked me, and we thought we'd keep it a secret so's
+      to s'prise you. Mr. Langworthy over to Orham married us, and&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;My dear,&rdquo; her husband blandly interrupted, &ldquo;we will not intrude our
+      private affairs upon the patience of these good friends. And now,
+      gentlemen, let me propose a toast: To the health and happiness of the
+      mistress of 'Silverleaf Hall'! Brother Obed, I&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The outside door closed with a slam; &ldquo;Brother Obed&rdquo; had fled.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      A little later, when the rest of the former creditors of the Major came
+      out into the moonlight, they found their companion standing by the gate
+      gazing stonily into vacancy. &ldquo;Hen&rdquo; Leadbetter, who, with Higgins, brought
+      up the rear of the procession, said reflectively:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;When he fust fetched out that stack of money I couldn't scarcely b'lieve
+      my eyes. I begun to think that we fellers had put our foot in it for
+      sartin, and had lost a mighty good customer; but, of course, it's all
+      plain enough NOW.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; remarked Weeks with a nod; &ldquo;I allers heard that P'lena kept a
+      mighty good balance in the bank.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It looks to me,&rdquo; said Higgins slyly, &ldquo;as if we owed Obed here a vote of
+      thanks. How 'bout that, Obed?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      And then Major Hardee's new brother-in-law awoke with a jump.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Aw, you go to grass!&rdquo; he snarled, and tramped savagely off down the hill.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0009" id="link2HCH0009">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER IX
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      THE WIDOW BASSETT
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      These developments, Major Hardee's marriage and Mr. Gott's discomfiture,
+      overshadowed, for the time, local interest in the depot master's house
+      moving. This was, in its way, rather fortunate, for those who took the
+      trouble to walk down to the lower end of the Boulevard were astonished to
+      see how very slowly the moving was progressing.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Only one horse, Sim?&rdquo; asked Captain Hiram Baker. &ldquo;Only one! Why, it'll
+      take you forever to get through, won't it?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I'm afraid it'll take quite a spell,&rdquo; admitted Mr. Phinney.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Where's your other one, the white one?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The white horse,&rdquo; said Simeon slowly, &ldquo;ain't feelin' just right and I've
+      had to lay him off.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Humph! that's too bad. How does Sol act about it? He's such a hustler, I
+      should think&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sol,&rdquo; interrupted Sim, &ldquo;ain't unreasonable. He understands.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He chuckled inwardly as he said it. Captain Sol did understand. Also Mr.
+      Phinney himself was beginning to understand a little.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The very day on which Williams and his foreman had called on the depot
+      master and been dismissed so unceremoniously, that official paid a short
+      visit to his mover.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sim,&rdquo; he said, the twinkle still in his eye, &ldquo;his Majesty, Williams the
+      Conqueror, was in to see me just now and acted real peevish. He was pretty
+      disrespectful to you, too. Called your outfit 'one horse.' That's a
+      mistake, because you've got two horses at work right now. It seems a shame
+      to make a great man like that lie. Hadn't you better lay off one of them
+      horses?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Lay one OFF?&rdquo; exclaimed Simeon. &ldquo;What for? Why, we'll be slow enough, as
+      'tis. With only one horse we wouldn't get through for I don't know how
+      long.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That's so,&rdquo; murmured the Captain. &ldquo;I s'pose with one horse you'd hardly
+      reach the middle of the Boulevard by&mdash;well, before the tenth of the
+      month. Hey?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The tenth of the month! The TENTH! Why, it was on the tenth that that
+      Omaha cousin of Olive Edwards was to&mdash;Mr. Phinney began to see&mdash;to
+      see and to grin, slow but expansive.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hm-m-m!&rdquo; he mused.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; observed Captain Sol. &ldquo;That white horse of yours looks sort of
+      ailin' to me, Sim. I think he needs a rest.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      And, sure enough, next day the white horse was pronounced unfit and taken
+      back to the stable. The depot master's dwelling moved, but that is all one
+      could say truthfully concerning its progress.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      At the depot the Captain was quieter than usual. He joked with his
+      assistant less than had been his custom, and for the omission Issy was
+      duly grateful. Sometimes Captain Sol would sit for minutes without
+      speaking. He seemed to be thinking and to be pondering some grave problem.
+      When his friends, Mr. Wingate, Captain Stitt, Hiram Baker, and the rest,
+      dropped in on him he cheered up and was as conversational as ever. After
+      they had gone he relapsed into his former quiet mood.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He acts sort of blue, to me,&rdquo; declared Issy, speaking from the depths of
+      sensational-novel knowledge. &ldquo;If he was a younger man I'd say he was most
+      likely in love. Ah, hum! I s'pose bein' in love does get a feller
+      mournful, don't it?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy made this declaration to his mother only. He knew better than to
+      mention sentiment to male acquaintances. The latter were altogether too
+      likely to ask embarrassing questions.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Wingate and Captain Stitt were still in town, although their stay was
+      drawing to a close. One afternoon they entered the station together.
+      Captain Sol seemed glad to see them.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Set down, fellers,&rdquo; he ordered. &ldquo;I swan I'm glad to see you. I ain't fit
+      company for myself these days.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ain't Betsy Higgins feedin' you up to the mark?&rdquo; asked Stitt. &ldquo;Or is
+      house movin' gettin' on your vitals?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; growled the depot master, &ldquo;grub's all right and so's movin', I
+      cal'late. I'm glad you fellers come in. What's the news to Orham,
+      Barzilla? How's the Old Home House boarders standin' it? Hear from Jonadab
+      regular, do you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Wingate laughed. &ldquo;Nothin' much,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Jonadab's too busy to write
+      these days. Bein' a sport interferes with letter writing consider'ble.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sport!&rdquo; exclaimed Captain Bailey. &ldquo;Land of Goshen! Cap'n Jonadab is the
+      last one I'd call a sport.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That's 'cause you ain't a good judge of human nature, Bailey,&rdquo; chuckled
+      Barzilla. &ldquo;When ancient plants like Jonadab Wixon DO bloom, they're gay
+      old blossoms, I tell you!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What do you mean?&rdquo; asked the depot master.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I mean that Jonadab's been givin' me heart disease, that's what; givin'
+      it to me in a good many diff'rent ways, too. We opened the Old Home House
+      the middle of April this year, because Peter T. Brown thought we might
+      catch some spring trade. We did catch a little, though whether it paid to
+      open up so early's a question. But 'twas June 'fore Jonadab got his
+      disease so awful bad. However, most any time in the last part of May the
+      reg'lar programme of the male boarders was stirrin' him up.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Take it of a dull day, for instance. Sky overcast and the wind aidgin'
+      round to the sou'east, so's you couldn't tell whether 'twould rain or fair
+      off; too cold to go off to the ledge cod fishin' and too hot for billiards
+      or bowlin'; a bunch of the younger women folks at one end of the piazza
+      playin' bridge; half a dozen men, includin' me and Cap'n Jonadab, smokin'
+      and tryin' to keep awake at t'other end; amidships a gang of females&mdash;all
+      'fresh air fiends'&mdash;and mainly widows or discards in the matrimony
+      deal, doin' fancywork and gossip. That would be about the usual layout.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Conversation got to you in homeopath doses, somethin' like this:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Did you say &ldquo;Spades&rdquo;? WELL! if I'd known you were going to make us lose
+      our deal like that, I'd never have bridged it&mdash;not with THIS hand.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, Miss Gabble, have you heard what people are sayin' about&mdash;' The
+      rest of it whispers.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'A&mdash;oo&mdash;OW! By George, Bill! this is dead enough, isn't it?
+      Shall we match for the cigars or are you too lazy?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then, from away off in the stillness would come a drawn-out 'Honk! honk!'
+      like a wild goose with the asthma, and pretty soon up the road would come
+      sailin' a big red automobile, loaded to the guards with goggles and
+      grandeur, and whiz past the hotel in a hurricane of dust and smell. Then
+      all hands would set up and look interested, and Bill would wink acrost at
+      his chum and drawl:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'That's the way to get over the country! Why, a horse isn't one&mdash;two&mdash;three
+      with that! Cap'n Wixon, I'm surprised that a sportin' man like you hasn't
+      bought one of those things long afore this.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;For the next twenty minutes there wouldn't be any dullness. Jonadab would
+      take care of that. He'd have the floor and be givin' his opinions of autos
+      and them that owned and run 'em. And between the drops of his language
+      shower you'd see them boarders nudgin' each other and rockin' back and
+      forth contented and joyful.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It always worked. No matter what time of day or night, all you had to say
+      was 'auto' and Cap'n Jonadab would sail up out of his chair like one of
+      them hot-air balloons the youngsters nowadays have on Fourth of July. And
+      he wouldn't come down till he was empty of remarks, nuther. You never see
+      a man get so red faced and eloquent.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It wa'n't because he couldn't afford one himself. I know that's the usual
+      reason for them kind of ascensions, but 'twa'n't his. No, sir! the summer
+      hotel business has put a considerable number of dollars in Jonadab's
+      hands, and the said hands are like a patent rat trap, a mighty sight
+      easier to get into than out of. He could have bought three automobiles if
+      he'd wanted to, but he didn't want to. And the reason he didn't was named
+      Tobias Loveland and lived over to Orham.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I know Tobias,&rdquo; interrupted Captain Bailey Stitt.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Course you do,&rdquo; continued Barzilla. &ldquo;So does Sol, I guess. Well, anyhow,
+      Tobias and Cap'n Jonadab never did hitch. When they was boys together at
+      school they was always rowin' and fightin', and when they grew up to be
+      thirty and courted the same girl&mdash;ten years younger than either of
+      'em, she was&mdash;twa'n't much better. Neither of 'em got her, as a
+      matter of fact; she married a tin peddler named Bassett over to Hyannis.
+      But both cal'lated they would have won if t'other hadn't been in the race,
+      and consequently they loved each other with a love that passed
+      understandin'. Tobias had got well to do in the cranberry-raisin' line and
+      drove a fast horse. Jonadab, durin' the last prosperous year or two, had
+      bought what he thought was some horse, likewise. They met on the road one
+      day last spring and trotted alongside one another for a mile. At the end
+      of that mile Jonadab's craft's jib boom was just astern of Tobias's
+      rudder. Inside of that week the Cap'n had swapped his horse for one with a
+      two-thirty record, and the next time they met Tobias was left with a
+      beautiful, but dusty, view of Jonadab's back hair. So HE bought a new
+      horse. And that was the beginnin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It went along that way for twelve months. Fust one feller's nag would
+      come home freighted with perspiration and glory, and then t'other's. One
+      week Jonadab would be so bloated with horse pride that he couldn't find
+      room for his vittles, and the next he'd be out in the stable growlin'
+      'cause it cost so much for hay to stuff an old hide rack that wa'n't fit
+      to put in a museum. At last it got so that neither one could find a better
+      horse on the Cape, and the two they had was practically an even match. I
+      begun to have hopes that the foolishness was over. And then the tin
+      peddler's widow drifts in to upset the whole calabash.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She made port at Orham fust, this Henrietta Bassett did, and the style
+      she slung killed every female Goliath in the Orham sewin' circle dead.
+      Seems her husband that was had been an inventor, as a sort of side line to
+      peddlin' tinware, and all to once he invented somethin' that worked. He
+      made money&mdash;nobody knew how much, though all hands had a guess&mdash;and
+      pretty soon afterwards he made a will and Henrietta a widow. She'd been
+      livin' in New York, so she said, and had come back to revisit the scenes
+      of her childhood. She was a mighty well-preserved woman&mdash;artificial
+      preservatives, I cal'late, like some kinds of tomatter ketchup&mdash;and
+      her comin' stirred Orham way down to the burnt places on the bottom of the
+      kettle.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I guess I remember HER, too,&rdquo; put in Captain Bailey.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Say!&rdquo; queried Mr. Wingate snappishly, &ldquo;do you want to tell about her? If
+      you do, why&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Belay, both of you!&rdquo; ordered the depot master. &ldquo;Heave ahead, Barzilla.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The news of her got over to Wellmouth, and me and Jonadab heard of it. He
+      was some subject to widows&mdash;most widower men are, I guess&mdash;but
+      he didn't develop no alarmin' symptoms in this case and never even hinted
+      that he'd like to see his old girl. Fact is, his newest horse trade had
+      showed that it was afraid of automobiles, and he was beginnin' to get
+      rabid along that line. Then come that afternoon when him and me was out
+      drivin' together, and we&mdash;Well, I'll have to tell you about that.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We was over on the long stretch of wood road between Trumet and Denboro,
+      nice hard macadam, the mare&mdash;her name was Celia, but Jonadab had
+      re-christened her Bay Queen after a boat he used to own&mdash;skimmin'
+      along at a smooth, easy gait, when, lo and behold you! we rounds a turn
+      and there ahead of us is a light, rubber-tired wagon with a man and woman
+      on the seat of it. I heard Jonadab give a kind of snort.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What's the matter?' says I.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Nothin',' says he, between his teeth. 'Only, if I ain't some mistaken,
+      that's Tobe Loveland's rig. Wonder if he's got his spunk with him? The
+      Queen's feelin' her oats to-day, and I cal'late I can show him a few
+      things.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Rubbish!' says I, disgusted. 'Don't be foolish, Jonadab. I don't know
+      nothin' about his spunk, but I do know there's a woman with him. 'Tain't
+      likely he'll want to race you when he's got a passenger aboard.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, I don't know!' says he. 'I've got you, Barzilla; so 'twill be two
+      and two. Let's heave alongside and see.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So he clucked to the Queen, and in a jiffy we was astern of t'other rig.
+      Loveland looked back over his shoulder.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Ugh!' he grunts, 'bout as cordial as a plate of ice cream. ''Lo, Wixon,
+      that you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Um-hm,' begins Jonadab. 'How's that crowbait of yours to-day, Tobe? Got
+      any go in him? 'Cause if he has, I&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He stopped short. The woman in Loveland's carriage had turned her head
+      and was starin' hard.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Why!' she gasps. 'I do believe&mdash;Why, Jonadab!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'HETTIE!' says the Cap'n.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, after that 'twas pull up, of course, and shake hands and talk. The
+      widow, she done most of the talkin'. She was SO glad to see him. How had
+      he been all these years? She knew him instantly. He hadn't changed a mite&mdash;that
+      is, not so VERY much. She was plannin' to come over to the Old Home House
+      and stay a spell later on; but now she was havin' SUCH a good time in
+      Orham, Tobias&mdash;Mr. Loveland&mdash;was makin' it SO pleasant for her.
+      She did enjoy drivin' so much, and Mr. Loveland had the fastest horse in
+      the county&mdash;did we know that?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Tobias and Jonadab glowered back and forth while all this gush was bein'
+      turned loose, and hardly spoke to one another. But when 'twas over and we
+      was ready to start again, the Cap'n says, says he:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I'll be mighty glad to see you over to the hotel, when you're ready to
+      come, Hettie. I can take you ridin', too. Fur's horse goes, I've got a
+      pretty good one myself.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh!' squeals the widow. 'Really? Is that him? It's awful pretty, and he
+      looks fast.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'She is,' says Jonadab. 'There's nothin' round here can beat her.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Humph!' says Loveland. 'Git dap!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Git dap!' says Jonadab, agreein' with him for once.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Tobias started, and we started. Tobias makes his horse go a little
+      faster, and Jonadab speeded up some likewise. I see how 'twas goin' to be,
+      and therefore I wa'n't surprised to death when the next ten minutes found
+      us sizzlin' down that road, neck and neck with Loveland, dust flyin',
+      hoofs poundin', and the two drivers leanin' way for'ard over the dash,
+      reins gripped and teeth sot. For a little ways 'twas an even thing, and
+      then we commenced to pull ahead a little.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Loveland,' yells Jonadab, out of the port corner of his mouth, 'if I
+      ain't showin' you my tailboard by the time we pass the fust house in
+      Denboro, I'll eat my Sunday hat.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I cal'late he would 'a' beat, too. We was drawin' ahead all the time and
+      had a three-quarter length lead when we swung clear of the woods and
+      sighted Denboro village, quarter of a mile away. And up the road comes
+      flyin' a big auto, goin' to beat the cars.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Let's forget the next few minutes; they wa'n't pleasant ones for me.
+      Soon's the Bay Queen sot eyes on that auto, she stopped trottin' and
+      commenced to hop; from hoppin' she changed to waltzin' and high jumpin'.
+      When the smoke had cleared, the auto was out of sight and we was in the
+      bushes alongside the road, with the Queen just gettin' ready to climb a
+      tree. As for Tobias and Henrietta, they was roundin' the turn by the fust
+      house in Denboro, wavin' by-bys to us over the back of the seat.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We went home then; and every foot of the way Cap'n Jonadab called an
+      automobile a new kind of name, and none complimentary. The boarders, they
+      got wind of what had happened and begun to rag him, and the more they
+      ragged, the madder he got and the more down on autos.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And, to put a head on the whole business, I'm blessed if Tobias Loveland
+      didn't get in with an automobile agent who was stoppin' in Orham and buy a
+      fifteen-hundred-dollar machine off him. And the very next time Jonadab was
+      out with the Queen on the Denboro road, Tobias and the widow whizzed past
+      him in that car so fast he might as well have been hove to. And, by way of
+      rubbin' it in, they come along back pretty soon and rolled alongside of
+      him easy, while Henrietta gushed about Mr. Loveland's beautiful car and
+      how nice it was to be able to go just as swift as you wanted to. Jonadab
+      couldn't answer back, nuther, bein' too busy keepin' the Queen from
+      turnin' herself into a flyin' machine.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas then that he got himself swore in special constable to arrest auto
+      drivers for overspeedin'; and for days he wandered round layin' for a
+      chance to haul up Tobias and get him fined. He'd have had plenty of game
+      if he'd been satisfied with strangers, but he didn't want them anyhow,
+      and, besides, most of 'em was on their way to spend money at the Old Home
+      House. 'Twould have been poor business to let any of THAT cash go for
+      fines, and he realized it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas in early June, only a few weeks ago, that the widow come to our
+      hotel. I never thought she meant it when she said she was comin', and so I
+      didn't expect her. Fact is, I was expectin' to hear that she and Tobe
+      Loveland was married or engaged. But there was a slip up somewheres, for
+      all to once the depot wagon brings her to the Old Home House, she hires a
+      room, and settles down to stay till the season closed, which would be in
+      about a fortn't.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;From the very fust she played her cards for Jonadab. He meant to be
+      middlin' average frosty to her, I imagine&mdash;her bein' so thick with
+      Tobias prejudiced him, I presume likely. But land sakes! she thawed him
+      out like hot toddy thaws out some folks' tongues. She never took no notice
+      of his coldness, but smiled and gushed and flattered, and looked her
+      prettiest&mdash;which was more'n average, considerin' her age&mdash;and by
+      the end of the third day he was hangin' round her like a cat round a cook.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It commenced to look serious to me. Jonadab was a pretty old fish to be
+      caught with soft soap and a set of false crimps; but you can't never tell.
+      When them old kind do bite, they gen'rally swallow hook and sinker, and he
+      sartinly did act hungry. I wished more'n once that Peter T. Brown, our
+      business manager, was aboard to help me with advice, but Peter is off
+      tourin' the Yosemite with his wife and her relations, so whatever pilotin'
+      there was I had to do. And every day fetched Jonadab's bows nigher the
+      matrimonial rocks.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I'd about made up my mind to sound the fog horn by askin' him straight
+      out what he was cal'latin' to do; but somethin' I heard one evenin', as I
+      set alone in the hotel office, made me think I'd better wait a spell.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The office window was open and the curtain drawed down tight. I was
+      settin' inside, smokin' and goin' over the situation, when footsteps
+      sounded on the piazza and a couple come to anchor on the settee right by
+      that window. Cap'n Jonadab and Henrietta! I sensed that immediate.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She was laughin' and actin' kind of queer, and he was talkin' mighty
+      earnest.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, no, Cap'n! Oh, no!' she giggles. 'You mustn't be so serious on such
+      a beautiful night as this. Let's talk about the moon.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Drat the moon!' says Jonadab. 'Hettie, I&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, just see how beautiful the water looks! All shiny and&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Drat the water, too! Hettie, what's the reason you don't want to talk
+      serious with me? If that Tobe Loveland&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Really, I don't see why you bring Mr. Loveland's name into the
+      conversation. He is a perfect gentleman, generous and kind; and as for the
+      way in which he runs that lovely car of his&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The Cap'n interrupted her. He ripped out somethin' emphatic.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Generous!' he snarls. ''Bout as generous as a hog in the feed trough, he
+      is. And as for runnin' that pesky auto, if I'd demean myself to own one of
+      them things, I'll bet my other suit I could run it better'n he does. If I
+      couldn't, I'd tie myself to the anchor and jump overboard.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The way she answered showed pretty plain that she didn't believe him.
+      'Really?' she says. 'Do you think so? Good night, Jonadab.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I could hear her walkin' off acrost the piazza. He went after her.
+      'Hettie,' he says, 'you answer me one thing. Are you engaged to Tobe
+      Loveland?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She laughed again, sort of teasin' and slow. 'Really,' says she, 'you are&mdash;Why,
+      no, I'm not.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That was all, but it set me to thinkin' hard. She wa'n't engaged to
+      Loveland; she said so, herself. And yet, if she wanted Jonadab, she was
+      actin' mighty funny. I ain't had no experience, but it seemed to me that
+      then was the time to bag him and she'd put him off on purpose. She was
+      ages too ancient to be a flirt for the fun of it. What was her game?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0010" id="link2HCH0010">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER X
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      CAPTAIN JONADAB GOES
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Wingate stopped and roared a greeting to Captain Hiram Baker, who was
+      passing the open door of the waiting room.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hello, there, Hime!&rdquo; he shouted. &ldquo;Come up in here! What, are you too
+      proud to speak to common folks?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Hiram entered. &ldquo;Hello!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;You look like a busy gang, for
+      sure. What you doin'&mdash;seatin' chairs?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Just now we're automobilin',&rdquo; observed Captain Sol. &ldquo;Set down, Hiram.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Automobilin'?&rdquo; repeated the new arrival, evidently puzzled.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sartin. Barzilla's takin' us out. Go on, Barzilla.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Wingate smiled broadly. &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; he began, &ldquo;we HAVE just about reached
+      the part where I went autoin'. The widow and me and Jonadab.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Jonadab!&rdquo; shouted Stitt. &ldquo;I thought you said&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I know what I said. But we went auto ridin' just the same.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas Henry G. Bradbury that took us out, him and his bran-new big
+      tourin' car. You see, he landed to board with us the next day after
+      Henrietta come&mdash;this Henry G. did&mdash;and he was so quiet and easy
+      spoken and run his car so slow that even a pizen auto hater like Jonadab
+      couldn't take much offense at him. He wa'n't very well, he said, subject
+      to some kind of heart attacks, and had come to the Old Home for rest.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Him and the Cap'n had great arguments about the sins of automobilin'.
+      Jonadab was sot on the idee that nine folks out of ten hadn't machine
+      sense enough to run a car. Bradbury, he declared that that was a fact with
+      the majority of autos, but not with his. 'Why, a child could run it,' says
+      he. 'Look here, Cap'n: To start it you just do this. To stop it you do so
+      and so. To make her go slow you haul back on this lever. To make her go
+      faster you shove down this one. And as for steerin'&mdash;well, a man
+      that's handled the wheels of as many catboats as you have would simply
+      have a picnic. I'm in entire sympathy with your feelin's against speeders
+      and such&mdash;I'd be a constable if I was in your shoes&mdash;but this is
+      a gentleman's car and runs like one.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;All Jonadab said was 'Bosh!' and 'Humph!' but he couldn't help actin'
+      interested, particular as Mrs. Bassett kept him alongside of the machine
+      and was so turrible interested herself. And when, this partic'lar
+      afternoon, Henry G. invites us all to go out with him for a little 'roll
+      around,' the widow was so tickled and insisted so that he just HAD to go;
+      he didn't dast say no.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Somehow or 'nother&mdash;I ain't just sure yet how it happened&mdash;the
+      seatin' arrangements was made like this: Jonadab and Bradbury on the front
+      seat, and me and Henrietta in the stuffed cockpit astern. We rolled out
+      and purred along the road, smooth as a cat trottin' to dinner. No
+      speedin', no joltin', no nothin'. 'TWAS a 'gentleman's car'; there wa'n't
+      no doubt about that.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We went 'way over to Bayport and Orham and beyond. And all the time
+      Bradbury kept p'intin' out the diff'rent levers to Jonadab and tellin' him
+      how to work 'em. Finally, after we'd headed back, he asked Jonadab to take
+      the wheel and steer her a spell. Said his heart was feelin' sort of mean
+      and 'twould do him good to rest.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Jonadab said no, emphatic and more'n average ugly, but Henry G. kept
+      beggin' and pleadin', and pretty soon the widow put in her oar. He must do
+      it, to please her. He had SAID he could do it&mdash;had told her so&mdash;and
+      now he must make good. Why, when Mr. Loveland&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'All right,' snarls Jonadab. 'I'll try. But if ever&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hold on!' says I. 'Here's where I get out.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;However, they wouldn't let me, and the Cap'n took the wheel. His jaw was
+      set and his hands shakin', but he done it. Hettie had give her orders and
+      she was skipper.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;For a consider'ble spell we just crawled. Jonadab was steerin' less
+      crooked every minute and it tickled him; you could see that.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Answers her hellum tiptop, don't she?' he says.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Bet your life!' says Bradbury. 'Better put on a little more speed,
+      hadn't we?'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He put it on himself, afore the new pilot could stop him, and we commenced
+      to move.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'When you want to make her jump,' he says, you press down on that with
+      your foot, and you shove the spark back.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Shut up!' howls Jonadab. 'Belay! Don't you dast to touch that. I'm scart
+      to death as 'tis. Here! you take this wheel.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But he wouldn't, and we went on at a good clip. For a green hand the
+      Cap'n was leavin' a pretty straight wake.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Gosh!' he says, after a spell; 'I b'lieve I'm kind of gettin' the hang
+      of the craft.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Course you are,' says Bradbury. 'I told&mdash;Oh!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He straightens up, grabs at his vest, and slumps down against the back of
+      the seat.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What IS it?' screams the widow. 'Oh, what IS it, Mr. Bradbury?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He answers, plucky, but toler'ble faintlike. My heart!' he gasps. 'I&mdash;I'm
+      afraid I'm goin' to have one of my attacks. I must get to a doctor quick.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Doctor!' I sings out. 'Great land of love! there ain't a doctor nigher
+      than Denboro, and that's four mile astern.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Never mind,' cries the Bassett woman. 'We must go there, then. Turn
+      around, Jonadab! Turn around at once! Mr. Bradbury&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But poor Henry G. was curled up against the cushions and we couldn't get
+      nothin' out of him but groans. And all the time we was sailin' along up
+      the road.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Turn around, Jonadab!' orders Henrietta. 'Turn around and go for the
+      doctor!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Jonadab's hands was clutched on that wheel, and his face was white as his
+      rubber collar.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Jerushy!' he groans desperate, 'I&mdash;I don't know HOW to turn
+      around.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Then stop, you foolhead!' I bellers. 'Stop where you be!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And he moans&mdash;almost cryin' he was: 'I&mdash;I've forgotten how to
+      STOP.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Talk about your situations! If we wa'n't in one then I miss my guess.
+      Every minute we was sinkin' Denboro below the horizon.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'We MUST get to a doctor,' says the widow. 'Where is there another one,
+      Mr. Wingate?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'The next one's in Bayport,' says I, 'and that's ten mile ahead if it's a
+      foot.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;However, there wa'n't nothin' else for it, so toward Bayport we put.
+      Bradbury groaned once in a while, and Mrs. Bassett got nervous.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'We'll never get there at this rate,' says she. 'Go faster, Jonadab.
+      Faster! Press down on&mdash;on that thing he told you to. Please! for MY
+      sake.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Don't you&mdash;' I begun; but 'twas too late. He pressed, and away we
+      went. We was eatin' up the road now, I tell you, and though I was
+      expectin' every minute to be my next, I couldn't help admirin' the way the
+      Cap'n steered. And, as for him, he was gettin' more and more set up and
+      confident.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'She handles like a yacht, Barzilla,' he grunts, between his teeth. 'See
+      me put her around the next buoy ahead there. Hey! how's that?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The next 'buoy' was a curve in the road, and we went around it beautiful.
+      So with the next and the next and the next. Bayport wa'n't so very fur
+      ahead. All to once another dreadful thought struck me.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Look here!' I yells. 'How in time are we goin' to stop when we&mdash;OW!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The Bassett woman had pinched my arm somethin' savage. I looked at her,
+      and she was scowlin' and shakin' her head.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'S-sh-sh!' she whispers. 'Don't disturb him. He'll be frightened and&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Frightened! Good heavens to Betsy! I cal'late he won't be the only one
+      that's fri&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But she looked so ugly that I shut up prompt, though I done a heap of
+      thinkin'. On we went and, as we turned the next 'buoy,' there, ahead of
+      us, was another auto, somethin' like ours, with only one person in it, a
+      man, and goin' in the same direction we was, though not quite so fast.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then I WAS scart. 'Hi, Jonadab!' I sings out. 'Heave to! Come about!
+      Shorten sail! Do you want to run him down? Look OUT!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I might as well have saved my breath. Heavin' to and the rest of it
+      wa'n't included in our pilot's education. On we went, same as ever. I
+      don't know what might have happened if the widow hadn't kept her head. She
+      leaned over the for'ard rail of the after cockpit and squeezed a rubber
+      bag that was close to Jonadab's starboard arm. It was j'ined to the fog
+      whistle, I cal'late, 'cause from under our bows sounded a beller like a
+      bull afoul of a barb-wire fence.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The feller in t'other car turned his head and looked. Then he commenced
+      to sheer off to wind'ard so's to let us pass. But all the time he kept
+      lookin' back and starin' and, as we got nigher, and I could see him
+      plainer through the dust, he looked more and more familiar. 'Twas somebody
+      I knew.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then I heard a little grunt, or gasp, from Cap'n Jonadab. He was leanin'
+      for'ard over the wheel, starin' at the man in the other auto. The nigher
+      we got, the harder he stared; and the man in front was actin' similar in
+      regards to him. And, all to once, the head car stopped swingin' off to
+      wind'ard, turned back toward the middle of the road, and begun to go like
+      smoke. The next instant I felt our machine fairly jump beneath me. I
+      looked at Jonadab's foot. 'Twas pressed hard down on the speed lever.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You crazy loon!' I screeched. 'You&mdash;you&mdash;you&mdash;Stop it!
+      Take your foot off that! Do you want to&mdash;!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I was climbin' over the back of the front seat, my knee pretty nigh on
+      Bradbury's head. But, would you believe it, that Jonadab man let go of the
+      wheel with one hand&mdash;let GO of it, mind you&mdash;and give me a shove
+      that sent me backward in Henrietta Bassett's lap.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Barzilla!' he growled, between his teeth, 'you set where you be and keep
+      off the quarterdeck. I'm runnin' this craft. I'll beat that Loveland this
+      time or run him under, one or t'other!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;As sure as I'm alive this minute, the man in the front car was Tobias
+      Loveland!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And from then on&mdash;Don't talk! I dream about it nights and wake up
+      with my arms around the bedpost. I ain't real sure, but I kind of have an
+      idee that the bedpost business comes from the fact that I was huggin' the
+      widow some of the time. If I did, 'twa'n't knowin'ly, and she never
+      mentioned it afterwards. All I can swear to is clouds of dust, and horns
+      honkin', and telegraph poles lookin' like teeth in a comb, and Jonadab's
+      face set as the Day of Judgment.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He kept his foot down on the speed place as if 'twas glued. He shoved the
+      'spark'&mdash;whatever that is&mdash;'way back. Every once in a while he
+      yelled, yelled at the top of his lungs. What he yelled hadn't no sense to
+      it. Sometimes you'd think that he was drivin' a horse and next that he was
+      handlin' a schooner in a gale.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Git dap!' he'd whoop. 'Go it, you cripples! Keep her nose right in the
+      teeth of it! She's got the best of the water, so let her bile! Whe-E-E!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We didn't stop at Bayport. Our skipper had made other arrangements.
+      However, the way I figgered it, we was long past needin' a doctor, and you
+      can get an undertaker 'most anywhere. We went through the village like a
+      couple of shootin' stars, Tobias about a length ahead, his hat blowed off,
+      his hair&mdash;what little he's got&mdash;streamin' out behind, and that
+      blessed red buzz wagon of his fairly skimmin' the hummocks and jumpin' the
+      smooth places. And right astern of him comes Jonadab, hangin' to the
+      wheel, HIS hat gone, his mouth open, and fillin' the dust with yells and
+      coughs.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You could see folks runnin' to doors and front gates; but you never saw
+      'em reach where they was goin'&mdash;time they done that we was somewheres
+      round the next bend. A pullet run over us once&mdash;yes, I mean just
+      that. She clawed the top of the widow's bunnit as we slid underneath her,
+      and by the time she lit we was so fur away she wa'n't visible to the naked
+      eye. Bradbury&mdash;who'd got better remarkable sudden&mdash;was pawin' at
+      Jonadab's arm, tryin' to make him ease up; but he might as well have pawed
+      the wind. As for Henrietta Bassett, she was acrost the back of the front
+      seat tootin' the horn for all she was wuth. And curled down in a heap on
+      the cockpit floor was a fleshy, sea-farin' person by the name of Barzilla
+      Wingate, sufferin' from chills and fever.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I think 'twas on the long stretch of the Trumet road that we beat Tobias.
+      I know we passed somethin' then, though just what I ain't competent to
+      testify. All I'm sure of is that, t'other side of Bayport village, the
+      landscape got some less streaked and you could most gen'rally separate one
+      house from the next.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Bradbury looked at Henrietta and smiled, a sort of sickly smile. She was
+      pretty pale, but she managed to smile back. I got up off the floor and
+      slumped on the cushions. As for Cap'n Jonadab Wixon, he'd stopped yellin',
+      but his face was one broad, serene grin. His mouth, through the dust and
+      the dirt caked around it, looked like a rain gully in a sand-bank. And,
+      occasional, he crowed, hoarse but vainglorious.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Did you see me?' he barked. 'Did you notice me lick him? He'll laugh at
+      me, will he?&mdash;him and his one-horse tin cart! Ho! HO! Why, you'd
+      think he was settin' down to rest! I've got him where I want him now! Ho,
+      ho! Say, Henrietta, did you go swift as you&mdash;? Land sakes! Mr.
+      Bradbury, I forgot all about you. And I&mdash;I guess we must have got a
+      good ways past the doctor's place.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Bradbury said never mind. He felt much better, and he cal'lated he'd do
+      till we fetched the Old Home dock. He'd take the wheel, now, he guessed.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But, would you b'lieve it, that fool Jonadab wouldn't let him! He was
+      used to the ship now, he said, and, if 'twas all the same to Henry G. and
+      Hettie, he'd kind of like to run her into port.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'She answers her hellum fine,' he says. 'After a little practice I
+      cal'late I could steer&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Steer!' sings out Bradbury. 'STEER! Great Caesar's ghost! I give you my
+      word, Cap'n Wixon, I never saw such handlin' of a machine as you did goin'
+      through Bayport, in my life. You're a wonder!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Um-hm,' says Jonadab contented. 'I've steered a good many vessels in my
+      time, through traffic and amongst the shoals, and never run afoul of
+      nothin' yet. I don't see much diff'rence on shore&mdash;'cept that it's a
+      little easier.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;EASIER! Wouldn't that&mdash;Well, what's the use of talkin'?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We got to the Old Home House safe and sound; Jonadab, actin' under
+      Bradbury's orders, run her into the yard, slowin' up and stoppin' at the
+      front steps slick as grease. He got out, his chest swelled up like a
+      puffin' pig, and went struttin' in to tell everybody what he'd done to
+      Loveland. I don't know where Bradbury and the widow went. As for me, I
+      went aloft and turned in. And 'twas two days and nights afore I got up
+      again. I had a cold, anyway, and what I'd been through didn't help it
+      none.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The afternoon of the second day, Bradbury come up to see me. He was
+      dressed in his city clothes and looked as if he was goin' away. Sure
+      enough, he was; goin' on the next train.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Where's Jonadab?' says I.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, he's out in his car,' he says. 'Huntin' for Loveland again, maybe.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'HIS car? You mean yours.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No, I mean his. I sold my car to him yesterday mornin' for twenty-five
+      hundred dollars cash.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I set up in bed. 'Go 'long!' I sings out. 'You didn't nuther!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes, I did. Sure thing. After that ride, you couldn't have separated him
+      from that machine with blastin' powder. He paid over the money like a
+      little man.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I laid down again. Jonadab Wixon payin' twenty-five hundred dollars for a
+      plaything! Not promisin', but actually PAYIN' it!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Has&mdash;has the widow gone with him?' I asked, soon's I could get my
+      breath.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He laughed sort of queer. 'No,' he says, 'she's gone out of town for a
+      few days. Ha, ha! Well, between you and me, Wingate, I doubt if she comes
+      back again. She and I have made all we're likely to in this neighborhood,
+      and she's too good a business woman to waste her time. Good-by; glad to
+      have met you.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But I smelt rat strong and wouldn't let him go without seein' the
+      critter.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hold on!' I says. 'There's somethin' underneath all this. Out with it. I
+      won't let on to the Cap'n if you don't want me to.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Well,' says he, laughin' again, 'Mrs. Bassett WON'T come back and I know
+      it. She and I have sold four cars on the Cape in the last five weeks, and
+      the profits'll more'n pay vacation expenses. Two up in Wareham, one over
+      in Orham, to Loveland&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Did YOU sell Tobias his?' I asks, settin' up again.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hettie and I did&mdash;yes. Soon's we landed him, we come over to bag
+      old Wixon. I thought one time he'd kill us before we got him, but he
+      didn't. How he did run that thing! He's a game sport.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'See here!' says I. 'YOU and Hettie sold&mdash;What do you mean by that?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Mrs. Bassett is my backer in the auto business,' says he. 'She put in
+      her money and I furnished the experience. We've got a big plant up in&mdash;'
+      namin' a city in Connecticut.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I fetched a long breath. 'WELL!' says I. 'And all this makin' eyes at
+      Tobe and Jonadab was just&mdash;just&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Just bait, that's all,' says he. 'I told you she was a good business
+      woman.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I let this sink in good. Then says I, 'Humph! I swan to man! And how's
+      your heart actin' now?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Fine!' he says, winkin'. 'I had that attack so's the Cap'n would learn
+      to run on his own hook. I didn't expect quite so much of a run, but I'm
+      satisfied. Don't you worry about my heart disease. That twenty-five
+      hundred cured it. 'Twas all in the way of business,' says Henry G.
+      Bradbury.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Whew!&rdquo; whistled Captain Hiram as Barzilla reached into his pocket for
+      pipe and tobacco. &ldquo;Whew! I should say your partner had a narrer escape.
+      Want to look out sharp for widders. They're dangerous, hey, Sol?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The depot master did not answer. Captain Hiram asked another question.
+      &ldquo;How'd Jonadab take Hettie's leavin'?&rdquo; he inquired.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Oh,&rdquo; said Barzilla, &ldquo;I don't think he minded so much. He was too crazy
+      about his new auto to care for anything else. Then, too, he was b'ilin'
+      mad 'cause Loveland swore out a warrant against him for speedin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Nice trick, ain't it?' he says. 'I knew Tobe was a poor loser, but I
+      didn't think he'd be so low down as all that. Says I was goin' fifty mile
+      an hour. He! he! Well, I WAS movin', that's a fact. I don't care. 'Twas
+      wuth the twenty-dollar fine.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Maybe so,' I says, 'but 'twon't look very pretty to have a special auto
+      constable hauled up and fined for breakin' the law he's s'posed to
+      protect.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He hadn't thought of that. His face clouded over.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No use, Barzilla,' says he; 'I'll have to give it up.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Guess you will,' says I. 'Automobilin' is&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I don't mean automobilin',' he snorts disgusted. 'Course not! I mean
+      bein' constable.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So there you are! From cussin' automobiles he's got so that he can't talk
+      enough good about 'em. And every day sence then he's out on the road
+      layin' for another chance at Tobias. I hope he gets that chance pretty
+      soon, because&mdash;well, there's a rumor goin' round that Loveland is
+      plannin' to swap his car for a bigger and faster one. If he does . . .&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;If he does,&rdquo; interrupted Captain Sol, &ldquo;I hope you'll fix the next race
+      for over here. I'd like to see you go by, Barzilla.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Guess you'd have to look quick to see him,&rdquo; laughed Stitt. &ldquo;Speakin'
+      about automobiles&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;By gum!&rdquo; ejaculated Wingate, &ldquo;you'd have to look somewheres else to find
+      ME. I've got all the auto racin' I want!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Speakin' of automobiles,&rdquo; began Captain Bailey again. No one paid the
+      slightest attention.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;How's Dusenberry, your baby, Hiram?&rdquo; asked the depot master, turning to
+      Captain Baker. &ldquo;His birthday's the Fourth, and that's only a couple of
+      days off.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The proud parent grinned, then looked troubled.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Why, he ain't real fust-rate,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Seems to be some under the
+      weather. Got a cold and kind of sore throat. Dr. Parker says he cal'lates
+      it's a touch of tonsilitis. There's consider'ble fever, too. I was hopin'
+      the doctor'd come again to-day, but he's gone away on a fishin' cruise.
+      Won't be home till late to-morrer. I s'pose me and Sophrony hadn't ought
+      to worry. Dr. Parker seems to know about the case.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Humph!&rdquo; grunted the depot master, &ldquo;there's only two bein's in creation
+      that know it all. One's the Almighty and t'other's young Parker. He's
+      right out of medical school and is just as fresh as his diploma. He hadn't
+      any business to go fishin' and leave his patients. We lost a good man when
+      old Dr. Ryder died. He . . . Oh, well! you mustn't worry, Hiram.
+      Dusenberry'll pull out in time for his birthday. Goin' to celebrate, was
+      you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Baker nodded. &ldquo;Um-hm,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Sophrony's goin' to bake a
+      frosted cake and stick three candles on it&mdash;he's three year old, you
+      know&mdash;and I've made him a 'twuly boat with sails,' that's what he's
+      been beggin' for. Ho! ho! he's the cutest little shaver!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Speakin' of automobiles,&rdquo; began Bailey Stitt for the third time.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That youngster of yours, Hiram,&rdquo; went on the depot master, &ldquo;is the right
+      kind. Compared with some of the summer young ones that strike this depot,
+      he's a saint.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Hiram grinned. &ldquo;That's what I tell Sophrony,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Sometimes
+      when Dusenberry gets to cuttin' up and she is sort of provoked, I say to
+      her, 'Old lady,' I say, 'if you think THAT'S a naughty boy, you ought to
+      have seen Archibald.'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Who was Archibald?&rdquo; asked Barzilla.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He was a young rip that Sim Phinney and I run across four years ago when
+      we went on our New York cruise together. The weir business had been pretty
+      good and Sim had been teasin' me to go on a vacation with him, so I went.
+      Sim ain't stopped talkin' about our experiences yet. Ho! ho!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You bet he ain't!&rdquo; laughed the depot master. &ldquo;One mix-up you had with a
+      priest, and a love story, and land knows what. He talks about that to this
+      day.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What was it? He never told me,&rdquo; said Wingate.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Why, it begun at the Golconda House, the hotel where Sim and I was
+      stayin'. We&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Did YOU put up at the Golconda?&rdquo; interrupted Barzilla. &ldquo;Why, Cap'n
+      Jonadab and me stayed there when we went to New York.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I know you did. Jonadab recommended it to Sim, and Sim took the
+      recommendation. That Golconda House is the only grudge I've got against
+      Jonadab Wixon. It sartin is a tough old tavern.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I give in to that. Jonadab's so sot on it account of havin' stopped there
+      on his honeymoon, years and years ago. He's too stubborn to own it's bad.
+      It's a matter of principle with him, and he's sot on principle.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; continued Baker. &ldquo;Well, Sim and me had been at that Golconda three
+      days and nights. Mornin' of the fourth day we walked out of the dinin'
+      room after breakfast, feelin' pretty average chipper. Gettin' safe past
+      another meal at that hotel was enough of itself to make a chap grateful.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We walked out of the dinin' room and into the office. And there, by the
+      clerk's desk, was a big, tall man, dressed up in clothes that was loud
+      enough to speak for themselves, and with a shiny new tall hat, set with a
+      list to port, on his head. He was smooth-faced and pug-nosed, with an
+      upper lip like a camel's.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He didn't pay much attention to us, nor to anybody else, for the matter
+      of that. He was as mournful as a hearse, for all his joyful togs.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Fine day, ain't it?' says Sim, social.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The tall chap looked up at him from under the deck of the beaver hat.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Huh!' he growls out, and looks down again.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I say it's a fine day,' said Phinney again.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I was after hearin' yez say it,' says the man, and walks off, scowlin'
+      like a meat ax. We looked after him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Who was that murderer?' asks Sim of the clerk. 'And when are they going
+      to hang him?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'S-sh-sh!' whispers the clerk, scart. ''Tis the boss. The bloke what runs
+      the hotel. He's a fine man, but he has troubles. He's blue.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'So that's the boss, hey?' says I. 'And he's blue. Well, he looks it.
+      What's troublin' him? Ain't business good?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Never better. It ain't that. He has things on his mind. You see&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I cal'late he'd have told us the yarn, only Sim wouldn't wait to hear it.
+      We was goin' sight-seein' and we had 'aquarium' and 'Stock Exchange' on
+      the list for that afternoon. The hotel clerk had made out a kind of
+      schedule for us of things we'd ought to see while we was in New York, and
+      so fur we'd took in the zoological menagerie and the picture museum, and
+      Central Park and Brooklyn Bridge.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;On the way downtown in the elevated railroad Sim done some preachin'. His
+      text was took from the Golconda House sign, which had 'T. Dempsey,
+      Proprietor,' painted on it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'It's that Dempsey man's conscience that makes him so blue, Hiram,' says
+      Sim. 'It's the way he makes his money. He sells liquor.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh!' says I. 'Is THAT it? I thought maybe he'd been sleepin' on one of
+      his own hotel beds. THEY'RE enough to make any man blue&mdash;black and
+      blue.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The 'aquarium' wa'n't a success. Phinney was disgusted. He give one look
+      around, grabbed me by the arm, and marched me out of that building same as
+      Deacon Titcomb, of the Holiness Church at Denboro, marched his boy out of
+      the Universalist sociable.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'It's nothin' but a whole passel of fish,' he snorts. 'The idea of
+      sendin' two Cape Codders a couple of miles to look at FISH. I've looked at
+      'em and fished for 'em, and et 'em all the days of my life,' he says, 'and
+      when I'm on a vacation I want a change. I'd forgot that &ldquo;aquarium&rdquo; meant
+      fish, or you wouldn't have got me within smellin' distance of it.
+      Necessity's one thing and pleasure's another, as the boy said about takin'
+      his ma's spring bitters.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So we headed for the Stock Exchange. We got our gallery tickets at the
+      bank where the Golconda folks kept money, and in a little while we was
+      leanin' over a kind of marble bulwarks and starin' down at a gang of men
+      smokin' and foolin' and carryin' on. 'Twas a dull day, so we found out
+      afterward, and I guess likely that was true. Anyway, I never see such
+      grown-up men act so much like children. There was a lot of poles stuck up
+      around with signs on 'em, and around every pole was a circle of bedlamites
+      hollerin' like loons. Hollerin' was the nighest to work of anything I see
+      them fellers do, unless 'twas tearin' up papers and shovin' the pieces
+      down somebody's neck or throwin' 'em in the air like a play-actin'
+      snowstorm.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What's the matter with 'em?' says I. 'High finance taken away their
+      brains?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But Phinney was awful interested. He dumped some money in a mine once.
+      The mine caved in on it, I guess, for not a red cent ever come to the top
+      again, but he's been a kind of prophet concernin' finances ever sence.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I want to see the big fellers,' says he. 'S'pose that fat one is
+      Morgan?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I don't know,' says I. 'Me and Pierpont ain't met for ever so long.
+      Don't lean over and point so; you're makin' a hit.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He was, too. Some of the younger crew on the floor was lookin' up and
+      grinnin', and more kept stoppin' and joinin' in all the time. I cal'late
+      we looked kind of green and soft, hangin' over that marble rail, like
+      posies on a tombstone; and green is the favorite color to a stockbroker,
+      they tell me. Anyhow, we had a good-sized congregation under us in less
+      than no time. Likewise, they got chatty, and commenced to unload remarks.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Land sakes!' says one. 'How's punkins?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'How's crops down your way?' says another.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Now there wa'n't nothin' real bright and funny about these questions&mdash;more
+      fresh than new, they struck me&mdash;but you'd think they was gems from
+      the comic almanac, jedgin' by the haw-haws. Next minute a little
+      bald-headed smart Alec, with clothes that had a tailor's sign hull down
+      and out of the race, steps to the front and commences to make a speech.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Gosh t'mighty, gents,' says he. 'With your kind permission, I'll sing
+      &ldquo;When Reuben Comes to Town.&rdquo;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And he did sing it, too, in a voice that needed cultivatin' worse'n a
+      sandy front yard. And with every verse the congregation whooped and
+      laughed and cheered. When the anthem was concluded, all hands set up a
+      yell and looked at us to see how we took it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;As for me, I was b'ilin' mad and mortified and redhot all over. But Sim
+      Phinney was as cool as an October evenin'. Once in a while old Sim comes
+      out right down brilliant, and he done it now. He smiled, kind of tolerant
+      and easy, same as you might at the tricks of a hand-organ monkey. Then he
+      claps his hands, applaudin' like, reaches into his pocket, brings up a
+      couple of pennies, and tosses 'em down to little baldhead, who was
+      standin' there blown up with pride.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;For a minute the crowd was still. And THEN such a yell as went up! The
+      whole floor went wild. Next thing I knew the gallery was filled with
+      brokers, grabbin' us by the hands, poundin' us on the back, beggin' us to
+      come have a drink, and generally goin' crazy. We was solid with the
+      'system' for once in our lives. We could have had that whole buildin',
+      from marble decks to gold maintruck, if we'd said the word. Fifty yellin'
+      lunatics was on hand to give it to us; the other two hundred was joyfully
+      mutilatin' the baldhead.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, I wanted to get away, and so did Sim, I guess; but the crowd
+      wouldn't let us. We'd got to have a drink; hogsheads of drinks. That was
+      the best joke on Eddie Lewisburg that ever was. Come on! We MUST come on!
+      Whee! Wow!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I don't know how it would have ended if some one hadn't butted head first
+      through the mob and grabbed me by the shoulder. I was ready to fight by
+      this time, and maybe I'd have begun to fight if the chap who grabbed me
+      hadn't been a few inches short of seven foot high. And, besides that, I
+      knew him. 'Twas Sam Holden, a young feller I knew when he boarded here one
+      summer. His wife boarded here, too, only she wa'n't his wife then. Her
+      name was Grace Hargrave and she was a fine girl. Maybe you remember 'em,
+      Sol?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The depot master nodded.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I remember 'em well,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Liked 'em both&mdash;everybody did.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes. Well, he knew us and was glad to see us.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'It IS you!' he sings out. 'By George! I thought it was when I came on
+      the floor just now. My! but I'm glad to see you. And Mr. Phinney, too!
+      Bully! Clear out and let 'em alone, you Indians.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The crowd didn't want to let us alone, but Sam got us clear somehow, and
+      out of the Exchange Buildin' and into the back room of a kind of
+      restaurant. Then he gets chairs for us, orders cigars, and shakes hands
+      once more.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'To think of seein' you two in New York!' he says, wonderin'. 'What are
+      you doin' here? When did you come? Tell us about it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So we told him about our pleasure cruise, and what had happened to us so
+      fur. It seemed to tickle him 'most to death.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Grace and I are keepin' house, in a modest way, uptown,' says Sam, 'and
+      she'll be as glad to see you as I am. You're comin' up to dinner with me
+      to-night, and you're goin' to make us a visit, you know,' he says.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, if we didn't know it then, we learned it right away. Nothin' that
+      me or Simeon could say would make him change the course a point. So
+      Phinney went up to the Golconda House and got our bags, and at half-past
+      four that afternoon the three of us was in a hired hack bound uptown.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;On the way Sam was full of fun as ever. He laughed and joked, and asked
+      questions about East Harniss till you couldn't rest. All of a sudden he
+      slaps his knee and sings out:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'There! I knew I'd forgotten somethin'. Our butler left yesterday, and I
+      was to call at the intelligence office on my way home and see if they'd
+      scared up a new one.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I looked at Simeon, and he at me.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hum!' says I, thinkin' about that 'modest' housekeepin'. 'Do you keep a
+      butler?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Not long,' says he, dry as a salt codfish. And that's all we could get
+      out of him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I s'pose there's different kinds of modesty. We hadn't more'n got inside
+      the gold-plated front door of that house when I decided that the Holden
+      brand of housekeepin' wa'n't bashful enough to blush. If I'D been runnin'
+      that kind of a place, the only time I'd felt shy and retirin' was when the
+      landlord came for the rent.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;One of the fo'mast hands&mdash;hired girls, I mean&mdash;went aloft to
+      fetch Mrs. Holden, and when Grace came down she was just as nice and
+      folksy and glad to see us as a body could be. But she looked sort of
+      troubled, just the same.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I'm ever so glad you're here,' says she to me and Simeon. 'But, oh, Sam!
+      it's a shame the way things happen. Cousin Harriet and Archie came this
+      afternoon to stay until to-morrow. They're on their way South. And I have
+      promised that you and I shall take Harriet to see Marlowe to-night. Of
+      course we won't do it now, under any consideration, but you know what she
+      is.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sam seemed to know. He muttered somethin' that sounded like a Scripture
+      text. Simeon spoke up prompt.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Indeed you will,' says he, decided. 'Me and Hiram ain't that kind. We've
+      got relations of our own, and we know what it means when they come
+      a-visitin'. You and Mr. Holden'll take your comp'ny and go to see&mdash;whatever
+      'tis you want to see, and we'll make ourselves to home till you get back.
+      Yes, you will, or we clear out this minute.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;They didn't want to, but we was sot, and so they give in finally. It
+      seemed that this Cousin Harriet was a widow relation of the Holdens, who
+      lived in a swell country house over in Connecticut somewhere, and was rich
+      as the rest of the tribe. Archie was her son. 'Hers and the Evil One's,'
+      Sam said.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We didn't realize how much truth there was in this last part until we run
+      afoul of Archie and his ma at dinner time. Cousin Harriet was tall and
+      middlin' slim, thirty-five years old, maybe, at a sale for taxes, but
+      discounted to twenty at her own valuation. She was got up regardless, and
+      had a kind of chronic, tired way of talkin', and a condescendin' look to
+      her, as if she was on top of Bunker Hill monument, and all creation was on
+      its knees down below. She didn't warm up to Simeon and me much; eyed us
+      over through a pair of gilt spyglasses, and admitted that she was
+      'charmed, I'm sure.' Likewise, she was afflicted with 'nerves,' which must
+      be a divil of a disease&mdash;for everybody but the patient, especial.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Archie&mdash;his ma hailed him as 'Archibald, dear'&mdash;showed up
+      pretty soon in tow of his 'maid,' a sweet-faced, tired-out Irish girl
+      named Margaret. 'Archibald, dear,' was five years old or so, sufferin'
+      from curls and the lack of a lickin'. I never see a young one that needed
+      a strap ile more.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'How d'ye do Archie?' says Simeon, holdin' out his hand.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Archie didn't take the hand. Instead of that he points at Phinney and
+      commences to laugh.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Ho, ho!' says he, dancin' and pointin'. 'Look at the funny whiskers.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sim wa'n't expectin' that, and it set him all aback, like he'd run into a
+      head squall. He took hold of his beard and looked foolish. Sam and Grace
+      looked ashamed and mad. Cousin Harriet laughed one of her lazy laughs.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Archibald, de-ar,' she drawls, 'you mustn't speak that way. Now be nice,
+      and play with Margaret durin' dinner, that's a good boy.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I won't,' remarks Archie, cheerful. 'I'm goin' to dine with you, mama.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, no, you're not, dear. You'll have your own little table, and&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then 'twas' Hi, yi!' 'Bow, wow!' Archibald wa'n't hankerin' for little
+      tables. He was goin' to eat with us, that's what. His ma, she argued with
+      him and pleaded, and he yelled and stamped and hurrahed. When Margaret
+      tried to soothe him he went at her like a wild-cat, and kicked and pounded
+      her sinful. She tried to take him out of the room, and then Cousin Harriet
+      come down on her like a scow load of brick.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Haven't I told you,' says she, sharp and vinegary, 'not to oppose the
+      child in that way? Archibald has such a sensitive nature,' she says to
+      Grace, 'that opposition arouses him just as it did me at his age. Very
+      well, dear; you MAY dine with us to-night, if you wish. Oh, my poor
+      nerves! Margaret, why don't you place a chair for Master Archibald? The
+      creature is absolutely stupid at times,' she says, talkin' about that poor
+      maid afore her face with no more thought for her feelin's than if she was
+      a wooden image. 'She has no tact whatever. I wouldn't have Archibald's
+      spirit broken for anything.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas his neck that needed breakin' if you asked ME. That was a joyful
+      meal, now I tell you.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There was more joy when 'twas over. Archie didn't want to go to bed,
+      havin' desires to set up and torment Simeon with questions about his
+      whiskers; askin' if they growed or was tied on, and things like that.
+      Course he didn't know his ma was goin' to the show, or he wouldn't have
+      let her. But finally he was coaxed upstairs by Margaret and a box of
+      candy, and, word havin' been sent down that he was asleep, Sam got out his
+      plug hat, and Grace and Cousin Harriet got on their fur-lined dolmans and
+      knit clouds, and was ready for the hack.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I feel mighty mean to go off and leave you this way,' says Sam to me and
+      Simeon. 'But you make yourself at home, won't you? This is your house
+      to-night, you know; servants and all.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'How about that boy's wakin' up?' says I.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, his maid'll attend to him. If she needs any help you can give it to
+      her,' he says, winkin' on the side.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But Cousin Harriet was right at his starboard beam, and she heard him.
+      She flew up like a settin' hen.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Indeed they will NOT!' she sings out. 'If anyone but Margaret was to
+      attempt to control Archibald, I don't dare think what might happen. I
+      shall not stir from this spot until these persons promise not to interfere
+      in ANY way; Archibald, dear, is such a sensitive child.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So we promised not to interfere, although Sim Phinney looked disappointed
+      when he done it. I could see that he'd had hopes afore he give that
+      promise.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0011" id="link2HCH0011">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER XI
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      IN THE GREAT METROPOLIS
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So they left you and Sim Phinney to keep house, did they, Hiram?&rdquo;
+       observed Wingate.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;They did. And, for a spell, we figgered on bein' free from too much
+      style.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;After they'd gone we loafed into the settin' room or libr'ry, or whatever
+      you call it, and come to anchor in a couple of big lazy chairs.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Now,' says I, takin' off my coat, 'we can be comf'table.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But we couldn't. In bobs a servant girl to know if we 'wanted anything.'
+      We didn't, but she looked so shocked when she see me in my shirt sleeves
+      that I put the coat on again, feelin' as if I'd ought to blush. And in a
+      minute back she comes to find out if we was SURE we didn't want anything.
+      Sim was hitchin' in his chair. Between 'nerves' and Archibald, his temper
+      was raw on the edges.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Say,' he bursts out, 'you look kind of pale to me. What you need is
+      fresh air. Why don't you go take a walk?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The girl looked at him with her mouth open.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh,' says she, 'I couldn't do that, thank you, sir. That would leave no
+      one but the cook and the kitchen girl. And the master said you was to be
+      made perfectly comf'table, and&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes,' says Sim, dry, 'I heard him say it. And we can't be comf'table
+      with you shut up in the house this nice evenin'. Go and take a walk, and
+      take the cook and stewardess with you. Don't argue about it. I'm skipper
+      here till the boss gets back. Go, the three of you, and go NOW. D'ye
+      hear?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There was a little more talk, but not much. In five minutes or so the
+      downstairs front door banged, and there was gigglin' outside.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'There,' says Simeon, peelin' off HIS coat and throwin' himself back in
+      one chair with his feet on another one. 'Now, by Judas, I'm goin' to be
+      homey and happy like poor folks. I don't wonder that Harriet woman's got
+      nerves. Darn style, anyhow! Pass over that cigar box, Hiram.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas half an hour later or so when Margaret, the nursemaid, came
+      downstairs. I'd almost forgot her. We was tame and toler'ble contented by
+      that time. Phinney called to her as she went by the door.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Is that young one asleep?' he asked.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes, sir,' says she, 'he is. Is there anything I can do? Did you want
+      anything?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Simeon looks at me. 'I swan to man, it's catchin'!' he says. 'They've all
+      got it. No, we don't want anything, except&mdash;What's the matter? YOU
+      don't need fresh air, do you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The girl looked as if she'd lost her last friend. Her pretty face was
+      pale and her eyes was wet, as if she'd been cryin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No, sir,' says she, puzzled. 'No, sir, thank you, sir.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'She's tired out, that's all,' says I. I swan, I pitied the poor thing.
+      'You go somewheres and take a nap,' I told her. 'Me and my friend won't
+      tell.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Oh, no, she couldn't do that. It wa'n't that she was tired&mdash;no more
+      tired than usual&mdash;but she'd been that troubled in her mind lately,
+      askin' our pardon, that she was near to crazy.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We was sorry for that, but it didn't seem to be none of our business, and
+      she was turnin' away, when all at once she stops and turns back again.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Might I ask you gintlemen a question?' she says, sort of pleadin'. 'Sure
+      I mane no harm by it. Do aither of you know a man be the name of Michael
+      O'Shaughnessy?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Me and Sim looked at each other. 'Which?' says I. 'Mike O' who?' says
+      Simeon.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Aw, don't you know him?' she begs. 'DON'T you know him? Sure I hoped you
+      might. If you'd only tell me where he is I'd git on me knees and pray for
+      you. O Mike, Mike! why did you leave me like this? What'll become of me?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And she walks off down the hall, coverin' her face with her hands and
+      cryin' as if her heart was broke.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'There! there!' says Simeon, runnin' after her, all shook up. He's a
+      kind-hearted man&mdash;especially to nice-lookin' females. 'Don't act so,'
+      he says. 'Be a good girl. Come right back into the settin' room and tell
+      me all about it. Me and Cap'n Baker ain't got nerves, and we ain't rich,
+      neither. You can talk to us. Come, come!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She didn't know how to act, seemingly. She was like a dog that's been
+      kicked so often he's suspicious of a pat on the head. And she was cryin'
+      and sobbin' so, and askin' our pardon for doin' it, that it took a good
+      while to get at the real yarn. But we did get it, after a spell.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It seems that the girl&mdash;her whole name was Margaret Sullivan&mdash;had
+      been in this country but a month or so, havin' come from Ireland in a
+      steamboat to meet the feller who'd kept comp'ny with her over there. His
+      name was Michael O'Shaughnessy, and he'd been in America for four years or
+      more, livin' with a cousin in Long Island City. And he'd got a good job at
+      last, and he sent for her to come on and be married to him. And when she
+      landed 'twas the cousin that met her. Mike had drawn a
+      five-thousand-dollar prize in the Mexican lottery a week afore, and hadn't
+      been seen sence.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So poor Margaret goes to the cousin's to stay. And she found them poor as
+      Job's pet chicken, and havin' hardly grub enough aboard to feed the dozen
+      or so little cousins, let alone free boarders like her. And so, havin' no
+      money, she goes out one day to an intelligence office where they deal in
+      help, and puts in a blank askin' for a job as servant girl. 'Twas a swell
+      place, where bigbugs done their tradin', and there she runs into Cousin
+      Harriet, who was a chronic customer, always out of servants, owin' to the
+      complications of Archibald and nerves. And Harriet hires her, because she
+      was pretty and would work for a shavin' more'n nothin', and carts her
+      right off to Connecticut. And when Margaret sets out to write for her
+      trunk, and to tell where she is, she finds she's lost the cousin's
+      address, and can't remember whether it's Umpty-eighth Street or Tin Can
+      Avenue.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'And, oh,' says she, 'what SHALL I do? The mistress is that hard to
+      please, and the child is that wicked till I want to die. And I have no
+      money and no friends. O Mike! Mike!' she says. 'If you only knew you'd
+      come to me. For it's a good heart he has, although the five thousand
+      dollars carried away his head,' says she.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I don't believe I ever wanted to make a feller's acquaintance more than I
+      done that O'Shaughnessy man's. The mean blackguard, to leave his girl that
+      way. And 'twas easy to see what she'd been through with Cousin Harriet and
+      that brat. We tried to comfort her all we could; promised to have a hunt
+      through Long Island and the directory, and to help get her another place
+      when she got back from the South, and so on. But 'twas kind of
+      unsatisfactory. 'Twas her Mike she wanted.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I told the Father about it at the church up there,' she says, 'and he
+      wrote, but the letters was lost, I guess. And I thought if I might see a
+      priest here in New York he might help me. But the mistress is to go at
+      noon to-morrer, and I'll have no time. What SHALL I do?' says she, and
+      commenced to cry again.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then I had an idea. 'Priest?' says I. 'There's a fine big church, with a
+      cross on the ridgepole of it, not five minutes' walk from this house. I
+      see it as we was comin' up. Why don't you run down there this minute?' I
+      says.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No, she didn't want to leave Archibald. Suppose he should wake up.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'All right,' says I. 'Then I'll go myself. And I'll fetch a priest up
+      here if I have to tote him on my back, like the feller does the codfish in
+      the advertisin' picture.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I didn't have to tote him. He lived in a mighty fine house, hitched onto
+      the church, and there was half a dozen assistant parsons to help him do
+      his preachin'. But he was big and fat and gray-haired and as jolly and as
+      kind-hearted a feller as you'd want to meet. He said he'd come right
+      along; and he done it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Phinney opened the door for us. 'What's the row?' says I, lookin' at his
+      face.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Row?' he snorts; 'there's row enough for six. That da&mdash;excuse me,
+      mister&mdash;that cussed Archibald has woke up.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He had; there wa'n't no doubt about it. And he was raisin' hob, too. The
+      candy, mixed up with the dinner, had put his works in line with his
+      disposition, and he was poundin' and yellin' upstairs enough to wake the
+      dead. Margaret leaned over the balusters.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Is it the Father?' she says. 'Oh, dear! what'll I do?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Send some of the other servants to the boy,' says the priest, 'and come
+      down yourself.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Simeon, lookin' kind of foolish, explained what had become of the other
+      servants. Father McGrath&mdash;that was his name&mdash;laughed and shook
+      all over.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Very well,' says he. 'Then bring the young man down. Perhaps he'll be
+      quiet here.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So pretty soon down come Margaret with Archibald, full of the Old
+      Scratch, as usual, dressed up gay in a kind of red blanket nighty, with a
+      rope around the middle of it. The young one spotted Simeon, and set up a
+      whoop.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh! there's the funny whiskers,' he sings out.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Good evenin', my son,' says the priest.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Who's the fat man?' remarks Archibald, sociable. 'I never saw such a red
+      fat man. What makes him so red and fat?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;These questions didn't make Father McGrath any paler. He laughed, of
+      course, but not as if 'twas the funniest thing he ever heard.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'So you think I'm fat, do you, my boy?' says he.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes, I do,' says Archibald. 'Fat and red and funny. Most as funny as the
+      whisker man. I never saw such funny-lookin' people.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He commenced to point and holler and laugh. Poor Margaret was so shocked
+      and mortified she didn't know what to do.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Stop your noise, sonny,' says I. 'This gentleman wants to talk to your
+      nurse.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The answer I got was some unexpected.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What makes your feet so big?' says Archie, pointin' at my Sunday boots.
+      'Why do you wear shoes like that? Can't you help it? You're funny, too,
+      aren't you? You're funnier than the rest of 'em.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We all went into the library then, and Father McGrath tried to ask
+      Margaret some questions. I'd told him the heft of the yarn on the way from
+      the church, and he was interested. But the questionin' was mighty
+      unsatisfyin'. Archibald was the whole team, and the rest of us was yeller
+      dogs under the wagon.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Can't you keep that child quiet?' asks the priest, at last, losin' his
+      temper and speakin' pretty sharp.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'O Archie, dear! DO be a nice boy,' begs Margaret, for the eight
+      hundredth time.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Why don't you punish him as he deserves?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Father, dear, I can't. The mistress says he's so sensitive that he has
+      to have his own way. I'd lose my place if I laid a hand on him.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Come on into the parlor and see the pictures, Archie,' says I.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I won't,' says Archibald. 'I'm goin' to stay here and see the fat man
+      make faces.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You see,' says Sim, apologizin' 'we can't touch him, 'cause we promised
+      his ma not to interfere. And my right hand's got cramps in the palm of it
+      this minute,' he adds, glarin' at the young one.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Father McGrath stood up and reached for his hat. Margaret began to cry.
+      Archibald, dear, whooped and kicked the furniture. And just then the
+      front-door bell rang.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;For a minute I thought 'twas Cousin Harriet and the Holdens come back,
+      but then I knew it was hours too early for that. Margaret was too much
+      upset to be fit for company, so I answered the bell myself. And who in the
+      world should be standin' on the steps but that big Dempsey man, the boss
+      of the Golconda House, where me and Simeon had been stayin'; the feller
+      we'd spoke to that very mornin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Good evenin', sor,' says he, in a voice as deep as a well. 'I'm glad to
+      find you to home, sor. There's a telegram come for you at my place,' he
+      says, 'and as your friend lift the address when he come for the baggage
+      this afternoon, I brought it along to yez. I was comin' this way, so 'twas
+      no trouble.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'That's real kind of you,' I says. 'Step inside a minute, won't you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So in he comes, and stands, holdin' his shiny beaver in his hand, while I
+      tore open the telegram envelope. 'Twas a message from a feller I knew with
+      the Clyde Line of steamboats. He had found out, somehow, that we was in
+      New York, and the telegram was an order for us to come and make him a
+      visit.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I hope it's not bad news, sor,' says the big chap.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No, no,' says I. 'Not a bit of it, Mr. Dempsey. Come on in and have a
+      cigar, won't you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Thank you, sor,' says he. 'I'm glad it's not the bad news. Sure, I ax
+      you and your friend's pardon for bein' so short to yez this mornin', but
+      I'm in that throuble lately that me timper is all but gone.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'That so?' says I. 'Trouble's thick in this world, ain't it? Me and Mr.
+      Phinney got a case of trouble on our hands now, Mr. Dempsey, and&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Excuse me, sor,' he says. 'My name's not Dempsey. I suppose you seen the
+      sign with me partner's name on it. I only bought into the business a while
+      ago, and the new sign's not ready yit. Me name is O'Shaughnessy, sor.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What?' says I. And then: 'WHAT?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'O'Shaughnessy. Michael O'Shaughnessy. I&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hold on!' I sung out. 'For the land sakes, hold on! WHAT'S your name?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He bristled up like a cat.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Michael O'Shaughnessy,' he roars, like the bull of Bashan. 'D'yez find
+      any fault with it? 'Twas me father's before me&mdash;Michael Patrick
+      O'Shaughnessy, of County Sligo. I'll have yez know&mdash;WHAT'S THAT?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas a scream from the libr'ry. Next thing I knew, Margaret, the nurse
+      girl, was standin' in the hall, white as a Sunday shirt, and swingin' back
+      and forth like a wild-carrot stalk in a gale.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Mike!' says she, kind of low and faint. 'Mary be good to us! MIKE!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And the big chap dropped his tall hat on the floor and turned as white as
+      she was.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'MAGGIE!' he hollers. And then they closed in on one another.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sim and the priest and Archie had followed the girl into the hall. Me and
+      Phinney was too flabbergasted to do anything, but big Father McGrath was
+      cool as an ice box. When Archibald, like the little imp he was, sets up a
+      whoop and dives for them two, the priest grabs him by the rope of the
+      blanket nighty and swings him into the libr'ry, and shuts the door on him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'And now,' says he, takin' Sim and me by the arms and leadin' us to the
+      parlor, 'we'll just step in here and wait a bit.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We waited, maybe, ten minutes. Archibald, dear, shut up in the libr'ry,
+      was howlin' blue murder, but nobody paid any attention to him. Then there
+      was a knock on the door between us and the hall, and Father McGrath opened
+      it. There they was, the two of 'em&mdash;Mike and Maggie&mdash;lookin' red
+      and foolish&mdash;but happy, don't talk!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You see, sor,' says the O'Shaughnessy man to me, ''twas the
+      five-thousand-dollar prize that done it. I'd been workin' at me trade, sor&mdash;larnin'
+      to tind bar it was&mdash;and I'd just got a new job where the pay was
+      pretty good, and I'd sint over for Maggie, and was plannin' for the little
+      flat we was to have, and the like of that, when I drew that prize. And the
+      joy of it was like handin' me a jolt on the jaw. It put me out for two
+      weeks, sor, and when I come to I was in Baltimore, where I'd gone to
+      collect the money; and two thousand of the five was gone, and I knew me
+      job in New York was gone, and I was that shamed and sick it took me three
+      days more to make up me mind to come to me Cousin Tim's, where I knew
+      Maggie'd be waitin' for me. And when I did come back she was gone, too.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'And then,' says Father McGrath, sharp, 'I suppose you went on another
+      spree, and spent the rest of the money.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I did not, sor&mdash;axin' your pardon for contradictin' your riverence.
+      I signed the pledge, and I'll keep it, with Maggie to help me. I put me
+      three thousand into a partnership with me friend Dempsey, who was runnin'
+      the Golconda House&mdash;'tis over on the East Side, with a fine bar trade&mdash;and
+      I'm doin' well, barrin' that I've been crazy for this poor girl, and
+      advertisin' and&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'And look at the clothes of him!' sings out Margaret, reverentlike. 'And
+      is that YOUR tall hat, Mike? To think of you with a tall hat! Sure it's a
+      proud girl I am this day. Saints forgive me, I've forgot Archie!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And afore we could stop her she'd run into the hall and unfastened the
+      libr'ry door. It took her some time to smooth down the young one's
+      sensitive feelin's, and while she was gone, me and Simeon told the
+      O'Shaughnessy man a little of what his girl had had to put up with along
+      of Cousin Harriet and Archibald. He was mad.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Is that the little blackguard?' he asks, pointin' to Archibald, who had
+      arrived by now.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'That's the one,' says I.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Archibald looked up at him and grinned, sassy as ever.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Father McGrath,' asks O'Shaughnessy, determined like, 'can you marry us
+      this night?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I can,' says the Father.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'And will yez?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I will, with pleasure.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Maggie,' says Mike, 'get your hat and jacket on and come with the Father
+      and me this minute. These gintlemen here will explain to your lady when
+      she comes back. But YOU'LL come back no more. We'll send for your trunk
+      to-morrer.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Even then the girl hesitated. She'd been so used to bein' a slave that I
+      suppose she couldn't realize she was free at last.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But, Mike, dear,' she says. 'I&mdash;oh, your lovely hat! Put it down,
+      Archie, darlin'. Put it down!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Archibald had been doin' a little cruisin' on his own hook, and he'd dug
+      up Mike's shiny beaver where it had been dropped in the hall. Now he was
+      dancin' round with it, bangin' it on the top as if it was a drum.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Put it down, PLEASE!' pleads Margaret. 'Twas plain that that plug was a
+      crown of glory to her.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Drop it, you little thafe!' yells O'Shaughnessy, makin' a dive for the
+      boy.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I won't!' screams Archibald, and starts to run. He tripped over the
+      corner of a mat, and fell flat. The plug hat was underneath him, and it
+      fell flat, too.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh! oh! oh!' wails Margaret, wringin' her hands. 'Your beautiful hat,
+      Mike!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Mike's face was like a sunset.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Your reverence,' says he, 'tell me this; don't the wife promise to
+      &ldquo;obey&rdquo; in the marriage service?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'She does,' says Father McGrath.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'D'ye hear that, you that's to be Margaret O'Shaughnessy? You do? Well,
+      then, as your husband that's to be in tin minutes, I order you to give
+      that small divil what's comin' to him. D'ye hear me? Will yez obey me, or
+      will yez not?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She didn't know what to do. You could see she wanted to&mdash;her fingers
+      was itchin' to do it, but&mdash;And then Archie held up the ruins of the
+      hat and commenced to laugh.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That settled it. Next minute he was across her knee and gettin' what he'd
+      been sufferin' for ever sence he was born; and gettin' all the back
+      numbers along with it, too.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And in the midst of the performance Sim Phinney leans over to me with the
+      most heavenly, resigned expression on his face, and says he:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'It ain't OUR fault, Hiram. We promised not to interfere.'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What did Sam Holden and his wife say when they got home?&rdquo; asked Captain
+      Sol, when the triumphant whoops over Archibald's righteous chastisement
+      had subsided.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We didn't give him much of a chance to say anything. I laid for him in
+      the hall when he arrived and told him that Phinney had got a telegram and
+      must leave immediate. He wanted to know why, and a whole lot more, but I
+      told him we'd write it. Neither Sim nor me cared to face Cousin Harriet
+      after her darlin' son had spun his yarn. Ha! ha! I'd like to have seen her
+      face&mdash;from a safe distance.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Bailey Stitt cleared his throat. &ldquo;Referrin' to them automobiles,&rdquo;
+       he said, &ldquo;I&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Say, Sol,&rdquo; interrupted Wingate, &ldquo;did I ever tell you of Cap'n Jonadab's
+      and my gettin' took up by the police when WE was in New York?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; replied the astounded depot master. &ldquo;Took up by the POLICE?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Um&mdash;hm. Surprises you, don't it? Well, that whole trip was a
+      surprise to me.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;When Laban Thorp set out to thrash his son and the boy licked him
+      instead, they found the old man settin' in the barnyard, holdin' on to his
+      nose and grinnin' for pure joy.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hurt?' says he. 'Why, some. But think of it! Only think of it! I didn't
+      believe Bill had it in him.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, that's the way I felt when Cap'n Jonadab sprung the New York plan
+      on to me. I was pretty nigh as much surprised as Labe. The idea of a man
+      with a chronic case of lockjaw of the pocketbook, same as Jonadab had
+      worried along under ever sence I knew him, suddenly breakin' loose with a
+      notion to go to New York on a pleasure cruise! 'Twas too many for me. I
+      set and looked at him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, I mean it, Barzilla,' he says. 'I ain't been to New York sence I was
+      mate on the Emma Snow, and that was 'way back in the eighties. That is, to
+      stop I ain't. That time we went through on the way to Peter T.'s weddin'
+      don't count, 'cause we only went in the front door and out the back, like
+      Squealer Wixon went through high school. Let's you and me go and stay two
+      or three days and have a real high old time,' says he.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I fetched a long breath. 'Jonadab,' I says, don't scare a feller this
+      way; I've got a weak heart. If you're goin' to start in and be divilish in
+      your old age, why, do it kind of gradual. Let's go over to the billiard
+      room and have a bottle of sass'parilla and a five-cent cigar, just to
+      break the ice.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But that only made him mad.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You talk like a fish,' he says. 'I mean it. Why can't we go? It's
+      September, the Old Home House is shut up for the season, you and me's done
+      well&mdash;fur's profits are concerned&mdash;and we ought to have a
+      change, anyway. We've got to stay here in Orham all winter.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Have you figgered out how much it's goin' to cost?' I asked him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, he had. 'It won't be so awful expensive,' he says. 'I've got some
+      stock in the railroad and that'll give me a pass fur's Fall River. And we
+      can take a lunch to eat on the boat. And a stateroom's a dollar; that's
+      fifty cents apiece. And my daughter's goin' to Denboro on a visit next
+      week, so I'd have to pay board if I stayed to home. Come on, Barzilla!
+      don't be so tight with your money.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So I said I'd go, though I didn't have any pass, nor no daughter to feed
+      me free gratis for nothin' when I got back. And when we started, on the
+      followin' Monday, nothin' would do but we must be at the depot at two
+      o'clock so's not to miss the train, which left at quarter past three.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I didn't sleep much that night on the boat. For one thing, our stateroom
+      was a nice lively one, alongside of the paddle box and just under the fog
+      whistle; and for another, the supper that Jonadab had brought, bein'
+      mainly doughnuts and cheese, wa'n't the best cargo to take to bed with
+      you. But it didn't make much diff'rence, 'cause we turned out at four,
+      so's to see the scenery and git our money's worth. What was left of the
+      doughnuts and cheese we had for breakfast.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We made the dock on time, and the next thing was to pick out a hotel. I
+      was for cruisin' along some of the main streets until we hove in sight of
+      a place that looked sociable and not too expensive. But no; Jonadab had it
+      all settled for me. We was goin' to the 'Wayfarer's Inn,' a boardin' house
+      where he'd put up once when he was mate of the Emma Snow. He said 'twas a
+      fine place and you could git as good ham and eggs there as a body'd want
+      to eat.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So we set sail for the 'Wayfarer's,' and of all the times gittin' to a
+      place&mdash;don't talk! We asked no less than nine policemen and one
+      hundred and two other folks, and it cost us thirty cents in car fares,
+      which pretty nigh broke Jonadab's heart. However, we found it, finally,
+      'way off amongst a nest of brick houses and peddler carts and children,
+      and it wa'n't the 'Wayfarer's Inn' no more, but was down in the shippin'
+      list as the 'Golconda House.' Jonadab said the neighborhood had changed
+      some sence he was there, but he guessed we'd better chance it, 'cause the
+      board was cheap.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We had a nine-by-ten room up aloft somewheres, and there we set down on
+      the edge of the bed and a chair to take account of stock, as you might
+      say.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Now, I tell you, Jonadab,' says I; 'we don't want to waste no time, and
+      we've got the day afore us. What do you say if we cruise along the water
+      front for a spell? There's ha'f a dozen Orham folks aboard diff'rent
+      steamers that hail from this port, and 'twouldn't be no more'n neighborly
+      to call on 'em. There's Silas Baker's boy, Asa&mdash;he's with the
+      Savannah Line and he'd be mighty glad to see us. And there's&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But Jonadab held up his hand. He'd been mysterious as a baker's mince pie
+      ever sence we started, hintin' at somethin' he'd got to do when we'd got
+      to New York. And now he out with it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Barzilla,' he says, 'I ain't sayin' but what I'd like to go to the
+      wharves with you, first rate. And we will go, too. But afore we do
+      anything else I've got an errand that must be attended to. 'Twas give to
+      me by a dyin' man,' he says, 'and I promised him I'd do it. So that comes
+      first of all.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He got his wallet out of his inside vest pocket, where it had been pinned
+      in tight to keep it safe from robbers, unwound a foot or so of leather
+      strap, and dug up a yeller piece of paper that looked old enough to be
+      Methusalem's will, pretty nigh.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Do you remember Patrick Kelly in Orham?' he asks.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Who?' says I. 'Pat Kelly, the Irishman, that lived in the little old
+      shack back of your barn? Course I do. But he's been dead for I don't know
+      how long.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I know he has. Do you remember his boy Jim that run away from home?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Let's see,' I says. 'Seems to me I do. Freckled, red-headed rooster,
+      wa'n't he? And of all the imps of darkness that ever&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'S-sh-sh!' he interrupted solemn. 'Don't say that now, Barzilla. Sounds
+      kind of irreverent. Well, me and old Pat was pretty friendly, in a way,
+      though he did owe me rent. When he was sick with the pleurisy he sends for
+      me and he says, &ldquo;Cap'n 'Wixon,&rdquo; says he, &ldquo;you're pretty close with the
+      money,&rdquo; he says&mdash;he was kind of out of his head at the time and
+      liable to say foolish things&mdash;&ldquo;you're pretty close,&rdquo; he says, &ldquo;but
+      you're a man of your word. My boy Jimmie, that run away, was the apple of
+      my eye.&rdquo;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'That's what he said about his girl Maggie that was took up for stealin'
+      Mrs. Elkanah Higgins's spoons,' I says. 'He had a healthy crop of apples
+      in HIS orchard.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'S-sh-h! DON'T talk so! I feel as if the old man's spirit was with us
+      this minute. &ldquo;He's the apple of my eye,&rdquo; he says, &ldquo;and he run away, after
+      me latherin' the life out of him with a wagon spoke. 'Twas all for his
+      good, but he didn't understand, bein' but a child. And now I've heard,&rdquo; he
+      says, &ldquo;that he's workin' at 116 East Blank Street in the city of New York.
+      Cap'n Wixon, you're a man of money and a travelin' man,&rdquo; he says (I was
+      fishin' in them days). &ldquo;When you go to New York,&rdquo; he says, &ldquo;I want you to
+      promise me to go to the address on this paper and hunt up Jimmie. Tell him
+      I forgive him for lickin' him,&rdquo; he says, &ldquo;and die happy. Will you promise
+      me that, Cap'n, on your word as a gentleman?&rdquo; And I promised him. And he
+      died in less than ten months afterwards, poor thing.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But that was sixteen&mdash;eighteen&mdash;nineteen years ago,' says I.
+      'And the boy run away three years afore that. You've been to New York in
+      the past nineteen years, once anyhow.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I know it. But I forgot. I'm ashamed of it, but I forgot. And when I was
+      goin' through the things up attic at my daughter's last Friday, seein'
+      what I could find for the rummage sale at the church, I come across my old
+      writin' desk, and in it was this very piece of paper with the address on
+      it just as I wrote it down. And me startin' for New York in three days!
+      Barzilla, I swan to man, I believe something SENT me to that attic.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I knew what sent him there and so did the church folks, judgin' by their
+      remarks when the contribution came in. But I was too much set back by the
+      whole crazy business to say anything about that.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Look here, Jonadab Wixon,' I sings out, 'do you mean to tell me that
+      we've got to put in the whole forenoon ransackin' New York to find a boy
+      that run off twenty-two years ago?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'It won't take the forenoon,' he says. 'I've got the number, ain't I?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes, you've got the number where he WAS. If you want to know where I
+      think he's likely to be now, I'd try the jail.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But he said I was unfeelin' and disobligin' and lots more, so, to cut the
+      argument short, I agreed to go. And off we put to hunt up 116 East Blank
+      Street. And when we located it, after a good hour of askin' questions, and
+      payin' car fares and wearin' out shoe leather, 'twas a Chinese laundry.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Well,' I says, sarcastic, 'here we be. Which one of the heathen do you
+      think is Jimmie? If he had an inch or so more of upper lip, I'd gamble on
+      that critter with the pink nighty and the baskets on his feet. He has a
+      kind of familiar chicken-stealin' look in his eye. Oh, come down on the
+      wharves, Jonadab, and be sensible.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Would you believe it, he wa'n't satisfied. We must go into the wash shop
+      and ask the Chinamen if they knew Jimmie Kelly. So we went in and the
+      powwow begun.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas a mighty unsatisfyin' interview. Jonadab's idea of talkin' to
+      furriners is to yell at 'em as if they was stone deef. If they don't
+      understand what you say, yell louder. So between his yells and the
+      heathen's jabber and grunts the hullabaloo was worse than a cat in a hen
+      yard. Folks begun to stop outside the door and listen and grin.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What did he say?' asks the Cap'n, turnin' to me.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I don't know,' says I, 'but I cal'late he's gettin' ready to send a note
+      up to the crazy asylum. Come on out of here afore I go loony myself.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So he done it, finally, cross as all get out, and swearin' that all
+      Chinese was no good and oughtn't to be allowed in this country. But he
+      wouldn't give up, not yet. He must scare up some of the neighbors and ask
+      them. The fifth man that we asked was an old chap who remembered that
+      there used to be a liquor saloon once where the laundry was now. But he
+      didn't know who run it or what had become of him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Never mind,' I says. 'You're as warm as you're likely to be this trip. A
+      rum shop is just about the place I'd expect that Kelly boy WOULD be in.
+      And, if he's like the rest of his relations on his dad's side, he drank
+      himself to death years ago. NOW will you head for the Savannah Line?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Not much, he wouldn't. He had another notion. We'd look in the directory.
+      That seemed to have a glimmer of sense somewheres in its neighborhood, so
+      we found an apothecary store and the clerk handed us out a book once again
+      as big as a church Bible.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Kelly,' says Jonadab. 'Yes, here 'tis. Now, &ldquo;James Kelly.&rdquo; Land of Love!
+      Barzilla, look here.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I looked, and there wa'n't no less than a dozen pages of James Kellys
+      beginning with fifty James A.'s and endin' with four James Z.'s. The Y in
+      'New York' ought to be a C, judgin' by that directory.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Godfrey mighty!' I says. 'This ain't no forenoon's job, Jonadab. If
+      you're goin' through that list you'll have to spend the rest of your life
+      here. Only, unless you want to be lonesome, you'll have to change your
+      name to Kelly.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'If I'd only got his middle letter,' says he, mournful, ''twould have
+      been easier. He had four middle names, if I remember right&mdash;the old
+      man was great on names&mdash;and 'twas too much trouble to write 'em all
+      down. Well, I've done my duty, anyhow. We'll go and call on Ase Baker.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But 'twas after eleven o'clock then, and the doughnuts and cheese I had
+      for breakfast was beginnin' to feel as if they wanted company. So we
+      decided to go back to the Golconda and have some dinner first.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We had ham and eggs for dinner, some that was left over from the last
+      time Jonadab stopped there, I cal'late. Lucky there was hot bread and
+      coffee on the bill or we'd never got a square meal. Then we went up to our
+      room and the Cap'n laid down on the bed. He was beat out, he said, and
+      wanted to rest up a spell afore haulin' anchor for another cruise.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0012" id="link2HCH0012">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER XII
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      A VISION SENT
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Where's the arrestin' come in?&rdquo; demanded Stitt.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Comes quick now, Bailey. Plenty quick enough for me and Jonadab, I tell
+      you that! After we got to our room the Cap'n went to sleep pretty soon and
+      I set in the one chair, readin' the newspaper and wishin' I hadn't ate so
+      many of the warm bricks that the Golconda folks hoped was biscuit. They
+      made me feel like a schooner goin' home in ballast. I guess I was drowsin'
+      off myself, but there comes a most unearthly yell from the bed and I
+      jumped ha'f out of the chair. There was Jonadab settin' up and lookin'
+      wild.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What in the world?' says I.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh! Ugh! My soul!' says he.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Your soul, hey?' says I. 'Is that all? I thought mebbe you'd lost a
+      quarter.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Barzilla,' he says, comin' to and starin' at me solemn, 'Barzilla, I've
+      had a dream&mdash;a wonderful dream.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Well,' I says, 'I ain't surprised. A feller that h'isted in as much
+      fried dough as you did ought to expect&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But I tell you 'twas a WONDERFUL dream,' he says. 'I dreamed I was on
+      Blank Street, where we was this mornin', and Patrick Kelly comes to me and
+      p'ints his finger right in my face. I see him as plain as I see you now.
+      And he says to me&mdash;he said it over and over, two or three times&mdash;Seventeen,&rdquo;
+       says he, &ldquo;Seventeen.&rdquo; Now what do you think of that?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Humph!' I says. 'I ain't surprised. I think 'twas just seventeen of them
+      biscuits that you got away with. Wonder to me you didn't see somebody
+      worse'n old Pat.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But he was past jokin'. You never see a man so shook up by the nightmare
+      as he was by that one. He kept goin' over it and tellin' how natural old
+      Kelly looked and how many times he said 'Seventeen' to him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Now what did he mean by it?' he says. 'Don't tell me that was a common
+      dream, 'cause twa'n't. No, sir, 'twas a vision sent to me, and I know it.
+      But what did he mean?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I think he meant you was seventeen kinds of an idiot,' I snorts,
+      disgusted. 'Get up off that bed and stop wavin' your arms, will you? He
+      didn't mean for you to turn yourself into a windmill, that's sartin sure.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then he hits his knee a slap that sounds like a window blind blowin' to.
+      'I've got it!' he sings out. 'He meant for me to go to number seventeen on
+      that street. That's what he meant.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I laughed and made fun of him, but I might as well have saved my breath.
+      He was sure Pat Kelly's ghost had come hikin' back from the hereafter to
+      tell him to go to 17 Blank Street and find his boy. 'Else why was he ON
+      Blank Street?' he says. 'You tell me that.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I couldn't tell him. It's enough for me to figger out what makes live
+      folks act the way they do, let alone dead ones. And Cap'n Jonadab was a
+      Spiritu'list on his mother's side. It ended by my agreein' to give the
+      Jimmie chase one more try.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But it's got to be the last,' I says. 'When you get to number seventeen
+      don't you say you think the old man meant to say &ldquo;seventy&rdquo; and stuttered.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Number 17 Blank Street was a little combination fruit and paper store run
+      by an Eyetalian with curly hair and the complexion of a molasses cooky.
+      His talk sounded as if it had been run through a meat chopper. All he
+      could say was, 'Nica grape, genta'men? On'y fifteen cent a pound. Nica
+      grape? Nica apple? Nica pear? Nica ploom?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Kelly?' says Jonadab, hollerin' as usual. 'Kelly! d'ye understand?
+      K-E-L-Kel L-Y-ly, Kelly. YOU know, KELLY! We want to find him.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And just then up steps a feller about six feet high and three foot
+      through. He was dressed in checkerboard clothes, some gone to seed, and
+      you could hardly see the blue tie he had on for the glass di'mond in it.
+      Oh, he was a little wilted now&mdash;for the lack of water, I judge&mdash;but
+      'twas plain that he'd been a sunflower in his time. He'd just come out of
+      a liquor store next door to the fruit shop and was wipin' his mouth with
+      the back of his hand.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What's this I hear?' says he, fetchin' Jonadab a welt on the back like a
+      mast goin' by the board. 'Is it me friend Kelly you're lookin' for?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I was just goin' to tell him no, not likin' his looks, but Jonadab cut in
+      ahead of me, out of breath from the earthquake the feller had landed him,
+      but excited as could be.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes, yes!' says he. 'It's Mr. Kelly we want. Do you know him?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Do I know him? Why, me bucko, 'tis me old college chum he is. Come on
+      with me and we'll give him the glad hand.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He grabs Jonadab by the arm and starts along the sidewalk, steerin' a
+      toler'ble crooked course, but gainin' steady by jerks.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I was on me way to Kelly's place now,' says he. 'And here it is. Sure
+      didn't I bate the bookies blind on Rosebud but yesterday&mdash;or was it
+      the day before? I don't know, but come on, me lads, and we'll do him
+      again.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He turned in at a little narrer entry-like, and went stumblin' up a
+      flight of dirty stairs. I caught hold of Jonadab's coat tails and pulled
+      him back.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Where you goin', you crazy loon?' I whispered. 'Can't you see he's three
+      sheets in the wind? And you haven't told him what Kelly you want, nor
+      nothin'.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But I might as well have hollered at a stone wall. 'I don't care if he's
+      as fur gone in liquor as Belshazzer's goat,' sputters the Cap'n, all
+      worked up. 'He's takin' us to a Kelly, ain't he? And is it likely there'd
+      be another one within three doors of the number I dreamed about? Didn't I
+      tell you that dream was a vision sent? Don't lay to NOW, Barzilla, for the
+      land sakes! It's Providence a-workin'.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Cording to my notion the sunflower looked more like an agent from
+      t'other end of the line than one from Providence, but just then he
+      commenced to yell for us and upstairs we went, Jonadab first.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Whisht!' says the checkerboard, holdin' on to Jonadab's collar and
+      swingin' back and forth. 'Before we proceed to blow in on me friend Kelly,
+      let us come to an understandin' concernin' and touchin' on&mdash;and&mdash;and&mdash;I
+      don't know. But b'ys,' says he, solemn and confidential, 'are you on the
+      square? Are yez dead game sports, hey?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes, yes!' says Jonadab. 'Course we be. Mr. Kelly and us are old
+      friends. We've come I don't know how fur on purpose to see him. Now
+      where's&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Say no more,' hollers the feller. 'Say no more. Come on with yez.' And
+      he marches down the dark hall to a door with a 'To let' sign on it and
+      fetches it a bang with his fist. It opens a little ways and a face shows
+      in the crack.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hello, Frank!' hails the sunflower, cheerful. 'Will you take that ugly
+      mug of yours out of the gate and lave me friends in?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What's the matter wid you, Mike?' asks the chap at the door. 'Yer can't
+      bring them two yaps in here and you know it. Gwan out of this.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He tried to shut the door, but the checkerboard had his foot between it
+      and the jamb. You might as well have tried to shove in the broadside of an
+      ocean liner as to push against that foot.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'These gents are friends of mine,' says he. 'Frank, I'll do yez the honor
+      of an introduction to Gin'ral Grant and Dan'l O'Connell. Open that door
+      and compose your face before I'm obliged to break both of 'em.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But I tell you, Mike, I can't,' says the door man, lookin' scared. 'The
+      boss is out, and you know&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'WILL you open that door?' roars the big chap. And with that he hove his
+      shoulder against the panels and jammed the door open by main force, all
+      but flattenin' the other feller behind it. 'Walk in, Gin'ral,' he says to
+      Jonadab, and in we went, me wonderin' what was comin' next, and not darin'
+      to guess.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There was a kind of partitioned off hallway inside, with another door in
+      the partition. We opened that, and there was a good-sized room, filled
+      with men, smokin' and standin' around. A high board fence was acrost one
+      end of the room, and from behind it comes a jinglin' of telephone bells
+      and the sounds of talk. The floor was covered with torn papers, the window
+      blinds was shut, the gas was burnin' blue, and, between it and the smoke,
+      the smells was as various as them in a fish glue factory. On the fence was
+      a couple of blackboards with 'Belmont' and 'Brighton' and suchlike names
+      in chalk wrote on 'em, and beneath that a whole mess in writin' and
+      figures like, 'Red Tail 4&mdash;Wt&mdash;108&mdash;Jock Smith&mdash;5&mdash;1,'
+      'Sourcrout 5&mdash;Wt&mdash;99&mdash;Jock Jones&mdash;20&mdash;5,' and
+      similar rubbish. And the gang&mdash;a mighty mixed lot&mdash;was
+      scribblin' in little books and watchin' each other as if they was afraid
+      of havin' their pockets picked; though, to look at 'em, you'd have guessed
+      the biggest part had nothin' in their pockets but holes.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The six-foot checkerboard&mdash;who, it turned out, answered to the hail
+      of 'Mike'&mdash;seemed to be right at home with the gang. He called most
+      of 'em by their first names and went sasshayin' around, weltin' 'em on the
+      back and tellin' 'em how he'd 'put crimps in the bookies rolls t'other
+      day,' and a lot more stuff that they seemed to understand, but was hog
+      Greek to me and Jonadab. He'd forgot us altogether which was a mercy the
+      way I looked at it, and I steered the Cap'n over into a corner and we come
+      to anchor on a couple of rickety chairs.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What&mdash;why&mdash;what kind of a place IS this, Barzilla?' whispers
+      Jonadab, scared.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Sh-h-h!' says I. 'Land knows. Just set quiet and hang on to your watch.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But&mdash;but I want to find Kelly,' says he.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I'd give somethin' to find a back door,' says I. 'Ain't this a
+      collection of dock rats though! If this is a part of your dream, Jonadab,
+      I wish you'd turn over and wake up. Oh land! here's one murderer headin'
+      this way. Keep your change in your fist and keep the fist shut.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;A more'n average rusty peep, with a rubber collar on and no necktie,
+      comes slinkin' over to us. He had a smile like a crack in a plate.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Say, gents,' he says, 'have you made your bets yet? I've got a dead
+      straight line on the handicap,' says he, 'and I'll put you next for a one
+      spot. It's a sure t'ing at fifteen to three. What do you say?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I didn't say nuthin'; but that fool dream was rattlin' round in Jonadab's
+      skull like a bean in a blowgun, and he sees a chance for a shot.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'See here, mister,' he says. 'Can you tell me where to locate Mr. Kelly?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Who&mdash;Pete?' says the feller. 'Oh, he ain't in just now. But about
+      that handicap. I like the looks of youse and I'll let youse in for a
+      dollar. Or, seein' it's you, we'll say a half. Only fifty cents. I
+      wouldn't do better for my own old man,' he says.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;While the Cap'n was tryin' to unravel one end of this gibberish I spoke
+      up prompt.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Say,' says I, 'tell me this, will you? Is the Kelly who owns this&mdash;this
+      palace, named Jimmie&mdash;James, I mean?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Naw,' says he. 'Sure he ain't. It's Pete Kelly, of course&mdash;Silver
+      Pete. But what are you givin' us? Are you bettin' on the race, or ain't
+      you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, Jonadab understood that. He bristled up like a brindled cat. If
+      there's any one thing the Cap'n is down on, it's gamblin' and such&mdash;always
+      exceptin' when he knows he's won already. You've seen that kind, maybe.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Young feller,' he says, perkish, 'I want you to know that me and my
+      friend ain't the bettin' kind. What sort of a hole IS this, anyway?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The rubber collared critter backed off, lookin' worried. He goes acrost
+      the room, and I see him talkin' to two or three other thieves as tough as
+      himself. And they commenced to stare at us and scowl.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Come on,' I whispered to Jonadab. 'Let's get out of this place while we
+      can. There ain't no Jimmie Kelly here, or if there is you don't want to
+      find him.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He was as willin' to make tracks as I was, by this time, and we headed
+      for the door in the partition. But Rubber Collar and some of the others
+      got acrost our bows.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Cut it out,' says one of 'em. 'You can't get away so easy. Hi, Frank!
+      Frank! Who let these turnip pullers in here, anyhow? Who are they?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The chap who was tendin' door comes out of his coop. 'You've got me,' he
+      says. 'They come in with Big Mike, and he was loaded and scrappy and
+      jammed 'em through. Said they was pals of his. Where is he?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There was a hunt for Mike, and, when they got his bearin's, there he was
+      keeled over on a bench, breathin' like an escape valve. And an admiral's
+      salute wouldn't have woke him up. The whole crew was round us by this
+      time, some ugly, and the rest laffin' and carryin' on.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'It's the Barkwurst gang,' says one.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'It's old Bark himself,' says another. 'Look at them lace curtains.' And
+      he points to Jonadab's whiskers.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'This one's Jacobs in disguise,' sings out somebody else. 'You can tell
+      him by the Rube get-up. Haw! haw!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Soak 'em! Do 'em up! Don't let 'em out!' hollers a ha'f dozen more.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Jonadab was game; I'll say that for him. And I hadn't been second mate in
+      my time for nothin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Take your hands off me!' yells the Cap'n. 'I come in here to find a man
+      I'm lookin' for, James Kelly it was, and&mdash;You would, would you! Stand
+      by, Barzilla!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I stood by. Rubber Collar got one from me that made him remember home and
+      mother, I'll bet. Anyhow, my knuckles ached for two days afterwards. And
+      Jonadab was just as busy. But I cal'late we'd have been ready for the oven
+      in another five minutes if the door hadn't bu'st open with a bang, and a
+      loud dressed chap, with the sweat pourin' down his face, come tearin' in.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Beat it, fellers!' he yells. 'The place is goin' to be pinched. I've
+      just had the tip, and they're right on top of me.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;THEN there was times. Everybody was shoutin' and swearin' and fallin'
+      over each other to get out. I was kind of lost in the shuffle, and the
+      next thing I remember for sartin is settin' up on Rubber Collar's stomach
+      and lookin' foggy at the door, where the loud dressed man was wrestlin'
+      with a policeman. And there was police at the windows and all around.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, don't talk! I got up, resurrects Jonadab from under a heap of
+      gamblers and furniture, and makes for harbor in our old corner. The police
+      was mighty busy, especially a fat, round-faced, red-mustached man, with
+      gold bands on his cap and arms, that the rest called 'Cap'n.' Him and the
+      loud dressed chap who'd give the alarm was talkin' earnest close to us.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I can't help it, Pete,' says the police cap'n. ''Twas me or the Vice
+      Suppression crowd. They've been on to you for two weeks back. I only just
+      got in ahead of 'em as it was. No, you'll have to go along with the rest
+      and take your chances. Quiet now, everybody, or you'll get it harder,' he
+      roars, givin' orders like the skipper of a passenger boat. 'Stand in line
+      and wait your turns for the wagon.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Jonadab grabbed me by the wrist. He was pale and shakin' all over.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, Lordy!' says he, 'we're took up. Will we have to go to jail, do you
+      think?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I don't know,' I says, disgusted. 'I presume likely we will. Did you
+      dream anything like this? You'd better see if you can't dream yourself out
+      now.' Twas rubbin' it in, but I was mad.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh! oh!' says he, flappin' his hands. 'And me a deacon of the church!
+      Will folks know it, do you think?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Will they know it! Sounds as if they knew it already. Just listen to
+      that.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The first wagon full of prizes was bein' loaded in down at the front
+      door, and the crowd outside was cheerin' 'em. Judgin' by the whoops and
+      hurrahs there wa'n't no less than a million folks at the show, and they
+      was gettin' the wuth of admission.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, dear!' groans Jonadab. 'And it'll be in the papers and all! I can't
+      stand this.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And afore I could stop him he'd run over and tackled the head policeman.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Mister&mdash;Mister Cap'n,' he says, pantin', 'there's been a mistake,
+      an awful mis&mdash;take&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'That's right,' says the police cap'n, 'there has. Six or eight of you
+      tin horns got clear. But&mdash;' Then he noticed who was speakin' to him
+      and his mouth dropped open like a hatch. 'Well, saints above!' he says.
+      'Have the up-state delegates got to buckin' the ponies, too? Why ain't you
+      back home killin' pertater bugs? You ought to be ashamed.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But we wa'n't gamblin'&mdash;me and my friend wa'n't. We was led in here
+      by mistake. We was told that a feller named Kelly lived here and we're
+      huntin' for a man of that name. I've got a message to him from his poor
+      dead father back in Orham. We come all the way from Orham, Mass.&mdash;to
+      find him and&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The police cap'n turned around then and stared at him hard. 'Humph!' says
+      he, after a spell. 'Go over there and set down till I want you. No, you'll
+      go now and we'll waste no breath on it. Go on, do you hear!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So we went, and there we set for ha'f an hour, while the rest of the gang
+      and the blackboards and the paper slips and the telephones and Big Mike
+      and his chair was bein' carted off to the wagon. Once, when one of the
+      constables was beatin' acrost to get us, the police cap'n spoke to him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You can leave these two,' he says. 'I'll take care of them.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So, finally, when there was nothin' left but the four walls and us and
+      some of the police, he takes me and Jonadab by the elbows and heads for
+      the door.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Now,' says he, 'walk along quiet and peaceable and tell me all about it.
+      Get out of this!' he shouts to the crowd of small boys and loafers on the
+      sidewalk, 'or I'll take you, too.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The outsiders fell astern, lookin' heartbroke and disapp'inted that we
+      wa'n't hung on the spot, and the fat boss policeman and us two paraded
+      along slow but grand. I felt like the feller that was caught robbin' the
+      poorhouse, and I cal'late Jonadab felt the same, only he was so busy
+      beggin' and pleadin' and explainin' that he couldn't stop to feel
+      anything.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He told it all, the whole fool yarn from one end to t'other. How old Pat
+      give him the message and how he went to the laundry, and about his
+      ridiculous dream, every word. And the fat policeman shook all over, like a
+      barrel of cod livers.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;By and by we got to a corner of a street and hove to. I could see the
+      station house loomin' up large ahead. Fatty took a card from his
+      pocketbook, wrote on it with a pencil, and then hailed a hack, one of them
+      stern-first kind where the driver sits up aloft 'way aft. He pushed back
+      the cap with the gilt wreath on it, and I could see his red hair shinin'
+      like a sunset.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Here,' says he to the hack driver, 'take these&mdash;this pair of salads
+      to the&mdash;what d'ye call it?&mdash;the Golconda House, wherever on top
+      of the pavement that is. And mind you, deliver 'em safe and don't let the
+      truck horses get a bite at 'em. And at half-past eight to-night you call
+      for 'em and bring 'em here,' handin' up the card he'd written on.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;''Tis the address of my house, I'm givin',' he says, turnin' to Jonadab.
+      'I'll be off duty then and we'll have dinner and talk about old times. To
+      think of you landin' in Silver Pete's pool room! Dear! dear! Why, Cap'n
+      Wixon, barrin' that your whiskers are a bit longer and a taste grayer, I'd
+      'a' known you anywheres. Many's the time I've stole apples over your back
+      fence. I'm Jimmie Kelly,' says he.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, by mighty!&rdquo; exclaimed the depot master, slapping his knee. &ldquo;So HE
+      was the Kelly man! Humph!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Funny how it turned out, wa'n't it?&rdquo; said Barzilla. &ldquo;Course, Cap'n
+      Jonadab was perfectly sat on spiritu'lism and signs and omens and such
+      after that. He's had his fortune told no less'n eight times sence, and,
+      nigh's I can find out, each time it's different. The amount of blondes and
+      brunettes and widows and old maids that he's slated to marry, accordin' to
+      them fortune tellers, is perfectly scandalous. If he lives up to the
+      prophecies, Brigham Young wouldn't be a twospot 'longside of him.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It's funny about dreams,&rdquo; mused Captain Hiram. &ldquo;Folks are always tellin'
+      about their comin' true, but none of mine ever did. I used to dream I was
+      goin' to be drowned, but I ain't been yet.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The depot master laughed. &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; he observed, &ldquo;once, when I was a
+      youngster, I dreamed two nights runnin' that I was bein' hung. I asked my
+      Sunday school teacher if he believed dreams come true, and he said yes,
+      sometimes. Then I told him my dream, and he said he believed in that one.
+      I judged that any other finish for me would have surprised him. But,
+      somehow or other, they haven't hung me yet.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There was a hired girl over at the Old Home House who was sat on fortune
+      tellin',&rdquo; said Wingate. &ldquo;Her name was Effie, and&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Look here!&rdquo; broke in Captain Bailey Stitt, righteous indignation in his
+      tone, &ldquo;I've started no less than nineteen different times to tell you
+      about how I went sailin' in an automobile. Now do you want to hear it, or
+      don't you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;How you went SAILIN' in an auto?&rdquo; repeated Barzilla. &ldquo;Went ridin', you
+      mean.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I mean sailin'. I went ridin', too, but&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You'll have to excuse me, Bailey,&rdquo; interrupted Captain Hiram, rising and
+      looking at his watch. &ldquo;I've stayed here a good deal longer'n I ought to,
+      already. I must be gettin' on home to see how poor little Dusenberry, my
+      boy, is feelin'. I do hope he's better by now. I wish Dr. Parker hadn't
+      gone out of town.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The depot master rose also. &ldquo;And I'll have to be excused, too,&rdquo; he
+      declared. &ldquo;It's most time for the up train. Good-by, Hiram. Give my
+      regards to Sophrony, and if there's anything I can do to help, in case
+      your baby should be sick, just sing out, won't you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But I want to tell about this automobilin' scrape,&rdquo; protested Captain
+      Bailey. &ldquo;It was one of them things that don't happen every day.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So was that fortune business of Effie's,&rdquo; declared Wingate. &ldquo;Honest, the
+      way it worked out was queer enough.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      But the train whistled just then and the group broke up. Captain Sol went
+      out to the platform, where Cornelius Rowe, Ed Crocker, Beriah Higgins,
+      Obed Gott, and other interested citizens had already assembled. Wingate
+      and Stitt followed. As for Captain Hiram Baker, he hurried home, his
+      conscience reproving him for remaining so long away from his wife and poor
+      little Hiram Joash, more familiarly known as &ldquo;Dusenberry.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0013" id="link2HCH0013">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER XIII
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      DUSENBERRY'S BIRTHDAY
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Mrs. Baker met her husband at the door.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;How is he?&rdquo; was the Captain's first question. &ldquo;Better, hey?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; was the nervous answer. &ldquo;No, I don't think he is. His throat's
+      terrible sore and the fever's just as bad.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Again Captain Hiram's conscience smote him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Dear! dear!&rdquo; he exclaimed. &ldquo;And I've been loafin' around the depot with
+      Sol Berry and the rest of 'em instead of stayin' home with you, Sophrony.
+      I KNEW I was doin' wrong, but I didn't realize&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Course you didn't, Hiram. I'm glad you got a few minutes' rest, after
+      bein' up with him half the night. I do wish the doctor was home, though.
+      When will he be back?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Not until late to-morrer, if then. Did you keep on givin' the medicine?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, but it don't seem to do much good. You go and set with him now,
+      Hiram. I must be seein' about supper.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      So into the sick room went Captain Hiram to sit beside the crib and sing
+      &ldquo;Sailor boy, sailor boy, 'neath the wild billow,&rdquo; as a lugubrious lullaby.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Little Hiram Joash tossed and tumbled. He was in a fitful slumber when
+      Mrs. Baker called her husband to supper. The meal was anything but a
+      cheerful one. They talked but little. Over the home, ordinarily so
+      cheerful, had settled a gloom that weighed upon them.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;My! my!&rdquo; sighed Captain Hiram, &ldquo;how lonesome it seems without him
+      chatterin' and racketin' sound. Seems darker'n usual, as if there was a
+      shadow on the place.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hush, Hiram! don't talk that way. A shadow! Oh, WHAT made you say that?
+      Sounds like a warnin', almost.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Warnin'?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, a forewarnin', you know. 'The valley of the shadow&mdash;'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;HUSH!&rdquo; Captain Baker's face paled under its sunburn. &ldquo;Don't say such
+      things, Sophrony. If that happened, the Lord help you and me. But it won't&mdash;it
+      won't. We're nervous, that's all. We're always so careful of Dusenberry,
+      as if he was made out of thin china, that we get fidgety when there's no
+      need of it. We mustn't be foolish.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      After supper Mrs. Baker tiptoed into the bedroom. She emerged with a very
+      white face.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hiram,&rdquo; she whispered, &ldquo;he acts dreadful queer. Come in and see him.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The &ldquo;first mate&rdquo; was tossing back and forth in the crib, making odd little
+      choky noises in his swollen throat. When his father entered he opened his
+      eyes, stared unmeaningly, and said: &ldquo;'Tand by to det der ship under way.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Good Lord! he's out of his head,&rdquo; gasped the Captain. Sophronia and he
+      stepped back into the sitting room and looked at each other, the same
+      thought expressed in the face of each. Neither spoke for a moment, then
+      Captain Hiram said:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Now don't you worry, Sophrony. The Doctor ain't home, but I'm goin' out
+      to&mdash;to telegraph him, or somethin'. Keep a stiff upper lip. It'll be
+      all right. God couldn't go back on you and me that way. He just couldn't.
+      I'll be back in a little while.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But, oh, Hiram! if he should&mdash;if he SHOULD be taken away, what WOULD
+      we do?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      She began to cry. Her husband laid a trembling hand on her shoulder.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But he won't,&rdquo; he declared stoutly. &ldquo;I tell you God wouldn't do such a
+      thing. Good-by, old lady. I'll hurry fast as I can.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      As he took up his cap and turned to the door he heard the voice of the
+      weary little first mate chokily calling his crew to quarters. &ldquo;All hands
+      on deck!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The telegraph office was in Beriah Higgins's store. Thither ran the
+      Captain. Pat Sharkey, Mr. Higgins's Irish helper, who acted as telegraph
+      operator during Gertie Higgins's absence, gave Captain Hiram little
+      satisfaction.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;How can I get Dr. Parker?&rdquo; asked Pat. &ldquo;He's off on a cruise and land
+      knows where I can reach him to-night. I'll do what I can, Cap, but it's
+      ten chances out of nine against a wire gettin' to him.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Hiram left the store, dodging questioners who were anxious to know
+      what his trouble might be, and dazedly crossed Main Street, to the railway
+      station. He thought of asking advice of his friend, the depot master.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The evening train from Boston pulled out as he passed through the waiting
+      room. One or two passengers were standing on the platform. One of these
+      was a short, square-shouldered man with gray side whiskers and eyeglasses.
+      The initials on his suit case were J. S. M., Boston, and they stood for
+      John Spencer Morgan. If the bearer of the suit case had followed the
+      fashion of the native princes of India and had emblazoned his titles upon
+      his baggage, the commonplace name just quoted might have been followed by
+      &ldquo;M.D., LL.D., at Harvard and Oxford; vice president American Medical
+      Society; corresponding secretary Associated Society of Surgeons; lecturer
+      at Harvard Medical College; author of 'Diseases of the Throat and Lungs,'
+      etc., etc.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      But Dr. Morgan was not given to advertising either his titles or himself,
+      and he was hurrying across the platform to Redny Blount's depot wagon when
+      Captain Hiram touched him on the arm.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Why, hello, Captain Baker,&rdquo; exclaimed the Doctor, &ldquo;how do you do?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Dr. Morgan,&rdquo; said the Captain, &ldquo;I&mdash;I hope you'll excuse my presumin'
+      on you this way, but I want to ask a favor of you, a great favor. I want
+      to ask if you'll come down to the house and see the boy; he's on the sick
+      list.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What, Dusenberry?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, sir. He's pretty bad, I'm 'fraid, and the old lady's considerable
+      upsot about him. If you just come down and kind of take an observation,
+      so's we could sort of get our bearin's, as you might say, 'twould be a
+      mighty help to all hands.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But where's your town physician? Hasn't he been called?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The Captain explained. He had inquired, and he had telegraphed, but could
+      get no word of Dr. Parker's whereabouts.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The great Boston specialist listened to Captain Hiram's story in an
+      absent-minded way. Holidays were few and far between with him, and when he
+      accepted the long-standing invitation of Mr. Ogden Williams to run down
+      for the week end he determined to forget the science of medicine and all
+      that pertained to it for the four days of his outing. But an exacting
+      patient had detained him long enough to prevent his taking the train that
+      morning, and now, on the moment of his belated arrival, he was asked to
+      pay a professional call. He liked the Captain, who had taken him out
+      fishing several times on his previous excursions to East Harniss, and he
+      remembered Dusenberry as a happy little sea urchin, but he simply couldn't
+      interrupt his pleasure trip to visit a sick baby. Besides, the child was
+      Dr. Parker's patient, and professional ethics forbade interference.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Captain Hiram,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;I am sorry to disappoint you, but it will be
+      impossible for me to do what you ask. Mr. Williams expected me this
+      morning, and I am late already. Dr. Parker will, no doubt, return soon.
+      The baby cannot be dangerously ill or he would not have left him.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The Captain slowly turned away.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Thank you, Doctor,&rdquo; he said huskily. &ldquo;I knew I hadn't no right to ask.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He walked across the platform, abstractedly striking his right hand into
+      his left. When he reached the ticket window he put one hand against the
+      frame as if to steady himself, and stood there listlessly.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The enterprising Mr. Blount had been hanging about the Doctor like a cat
+      about the cream pitcher; now he rushed up, grasped the suit case, and
+      officiously led the way toward the depot wagon. Dr. Morgan followed more
+      slowly. As he passed the Captain he glanced up into the latter's face,
+      lighted, as it was, by the lamp inside the window.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Doctor stopped and looked again. Then he took another step forward,
+      hesitated, turned on his heel, and said:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Wait a moment, Blount. Captain Hiram, do you live far from here?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The Captain started. &ldquo;No, sir, only a little ways.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;All right. I'll go down and look at this boy of yours. Mind you, I'll not
+      take the case, simply give my opinion on it, that's all. Blount, take my
+      grip to Mr. Williams's. I'm going to walk down with the Captain.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Haul on ee bowline, ee bowline, haul!&rdquo; muttered the first mate, as they
+      came into the room. The lamp that Sophronia was holding shook, and the
+      Captain hurriedly brushed his eyes with the back of his hand.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Dr. Morgan started perceptibly as he bent forward to look at the little
+      fevered face of Dusenberry. Graver and graver he became as he felt the
+      pulse and peered into the swollen throat. At length he rose and led the
+      way back into the sitting room.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Captain Baker,&rdquo; he said simply, &ldquo;I must ask you and your wife to be
+      brave. The child has diphtheria and&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Diphthery!&rdquo; gasped Sophronia, as white as her best tablecloth.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Good Lord above!&rdquo; cried the Captain.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Diphtheria,&rdquo; repeated the Doctor; &ldquo;and, although I dislike extremely to
+      criticize a member of my own profession, I must say that any physician
+      should have recognized it.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Sophronia groaned and covered her face with her apron.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ain't there&mdash;ain't there no chance, Doctor?&rdquo; gasped the Captain.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Certainly, there's a chance. If I could administer antitoxin by to-morrow
+      noon the patient might recover. What time does the morning train from
+      Boston arrive here?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ha'f-past ten or thereabouts.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Dr. Morgan took his notebook from his pocket and wrote a few lines in
+      pencil on one of the pages. Then he tore out the leaf and handed it to the
+      Captain.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Send that telegram immediately to my assistant in Boston,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;It
+      directs him to send the antitoxin by the early train. If nothing
+      interferes it should be here in time.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Hiram took the slip of paper and ran out at the door bareheaded.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Dr. Morgan stood in the middle of the floor absent-mindedly looking at his
+      watch. Sophronia was gazing at him appealingly. At length he put his watch
+      in his pocket and said quietly:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Mrs. Baker, I must ask you to give me a room. I will take the case.&rdquo; Then
+      he added mentally: &ldquo;And that settles my vacation.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Dr. Morgan's assistant was a young man whom nature had supplied with a
+      prematurely bald head, a flourishing beard, and a way of appearing ten
+      years older than he really was. To these gifts, priceless to a young
+      medical man, might be added boundless ambition and considerable common
+      sense.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The yellow envelope which contained the few lines meaning life or death to
+      little Hiram Joash Baker was delivered at Dr. Morgan's Back Bay office at
+      ten minutes past ten. Dr. Payson&mdash;that was the assistant's name&mdash;was
+      out, but Jackson, the colored butler, took the telegram into his
+      employer's office, laid it on the desk among the papers, and returned to
+      the hall to finish his nap in the armchair. When Dr. Payson came in, at
+      11:30, the sleepy Jackson forgot to mention the dispatch.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The next morning as Jackson was cleaning the professional boots in the
+      kitchen and chatting with the cook, the thought of the yellow envelope
+      came back to his brain. He went up the stairs with such precipitation that
+      the cook screamed, thinking he had a fit.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Doctah! Doctah!&rdquo; he exclaimed, opening the door of the assistant's
+      chamber, &ldquo;did you git dat telegraft I lef' on your desk las' night?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What telegraph?&rdquo; asked the assistant sleepily. By way of answer Jackson
+      hurried out and returned with the yellow envelope. The assistant opened it
+      and read as follows:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Send 1,500 units Diphtheritic Serum to me by morning train. Don't fail.
+      Utmost importance.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      J. S. MORGAN.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Dr. Payson sprang out of bed, and running to the table took up the Railway
+      Guide, turned to the pages devoted to the O. C. and C. C. Railroad and ran
+      his finger down the printed tables. The morning train for Cape Cod left at
+      7:10. It was 6:45 at that moment. As has been said, the assistant had
+      considerable common sense. He proved this by wasting no time in telling
+      the forgetful Jackson what he thought of him. He sent the latter after a
+      cab and proceeded to dress in double-quick time. Ten minutes later he was
+      on his way to the station with the little wooden case containing the
+      precious antitoxin, wrapped and addressed, in his pocket.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      It was seven by the Arlington Street Church clock as the cab rattled down
+      Boylston Street. A tangle of a trolley car and a market wagon delayed it
+      momentarily at Harrison Avenue and Essex Street. Dr. Payson, leaning out
+      as the carriage swung into Dewey Square, saw by the big clock on the Union
+      Station that it was 7:13. He had lost the train.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Now, the assistant had been assistant long enough to know that excuses&mdash;in
+      the ordinary sense of the word&mdash;did not pass current with Dr. Morgan.
+      That gentleman had telegraphed for antitoxin, and said it was important
+      that he should have it; therefore, antitoxin must be sent in spite of
+      time-tables and forgetful butlers. Dr. Payson went into the waiting room
+      and sat down to think. After a moment's deliberation he went over to the
+      ticket office and asked:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What is the first stop of the Cape Cod express?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Brockboro,&rdquo; answered the ticket seller.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Is the train usually on time?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, I should smile. That's Charlie Mills's train, and the old man ain't
+      been conductor on this road twenty-two years for nothin'.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Mills? Does he live on Shawmut Avenue?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Dunno. Billy, where does Charlie Mills live?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Somewhere at the South End. Shawmut Avenue, I think.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Thank you,&rdquo; said the assistant, and, helping himself to a time-table, he
+      went back rejoicing to his seat in the waiting room. He had stumbled upon
+      an unexpected bit of luck.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      There might be another story written in connection with this one; the
+      story of a veteran railroad man whose daughter had been very, very ill
+      with a dreaded disease of the lungs, and who, when other physicians had
+      given up hope, had been brought back to health by a celebrated specialist
+      of our acquaintance. But this story cannot be told just now; suffice it to
+      say that Conductor Charlie Mills had vowed that he would put his neck
+      beneath the wheels of his own express train, if by so doing he could
+      confer a favor on Dr. John Spencer Morgan.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The assistant saw by his time-table that the Cape Cod express reached
+      Brockboro at 8:05. He went over to the telegraph office and wrote two
+      telegrams. The first read like this:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      CALVIN S. WISE, The People's Drug Store, 28 Broad Street, Brockboro,
+      Mass.:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Send package 1,500 units Diphtheritic Serum marked with my name to
+      station. Hand to Conductor Mills, Cape Cod express. Train will wait.
+      Matter life and death.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The second telegram was to Conductor Mills. It read:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Hold train Brockboro to await arrival C. A. Wise. Great personal favor.
+      Very important.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Both of these dispatches were signed with the magic name, &ldquo;J. S. Morgan,
+      M.D.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said the assistant as he rode back to his office, &ldquo;I don't know
+      whether Wise will get the stuff to the train in time, or whether Mills
+      will wait for him, but at any rate I've done my part. I hope breakfast is
+      ready, I'm hungry.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Wise, of &ldquo;The People's Drug Store,&rdquo; had exactly two minutes in which
+      to cover the three-quarters of a mile to the station. As a matter of
+      course, he was late. Inquiring for Conductor Mills, he was met by a
+      red-faced man in uniform, who, watch in hand, demanded what in the vale of
+      eternal torment he meant by keeping him waiting eight minutes.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Do you realize,&rdquo; demanded the red-faced man, &ldquo;that I'm liable to lose my
+      job? I'll have you to understand that if any other man than Doc. Morgan
+      asked me to hold up the Cape Cod express, I'd tell him to go right plumb
+      to&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Here Mr. Wise interrupted to hand over the package and explain that it was
+      a matter of life and death. Conductor Mills only grunted as he swung
+      aboard the train.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hump her, Jim,&rdquo; he said to the engineer; &ldquo;she's got to make up those
+      eight minutes.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      And Jim did.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And so it happened that on the morning of the Fourth of July, Dusenberry's
+      birthday, Captain Hiram Baker and his wife sat together in the sitting
+      room, with very happy faces. The Captain had in his hands the &ldquo;truly boat
+      with sails,&rdquo; which the little first mate had so ardently wished for.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      She was a wonder, that boat. Red hull, real lead on the keel, brass rings
+      on the masts, reef points on the main and fore sail, jib, flying jib and
+      topsails, all complete. And on the stern was the name, &ldquo;Dusenberry. East
+      Harniss.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Hiram set her down in front of him on the floor.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Gee!&rdquo; he exclaimed, &ldquo;won't his eyes stick out when he sees that rig, hey?
+      Wisht he would be well enough to see it to-day, same as we planned.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, Hiram,&rdquo; said Sophrony, &ldquo;we hadn't ought to complain. We'd ought to
+      be thankful he's goin' to get well at all. Dr. Morgan says, thanks to that
+      blessed toxing stuff, he'll be up and around in a couple of weeks.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sophrony,&rdquo; said her husband, &ldquo;we'll have a special birthday celebration
+      for him when he gets all well. You can bake the frosted cake and we'll
+      have some of the other children in. I TOLD you God wouldn't be cruel
+      enough to take him away.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      And this is how Fate and the medical profession and the O. C. and C. C.
+      Railroad combined to give little Hiram Joash Baker his birthday, and
+      explains why, as he strolled down Main Street that afternoon, Captain
+      Hiram was heard to sing heartily:
+    </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+     Haul on the bowline, the 'Phrony is a-rollin',
+     Haul on the bowline, the bowline, HAUL!
+</pre>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0014" id="link2HCH0014">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER XIV
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      EFFIE'S FATE
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Surely, but very, very slowly, the little Berry house moved on its rollers
+      up the Hill Boulevard. Right at its heels&mdash;if a house may be said to
+      have heels&mdash;came the &ldquo;pure Colonial,&rdquo; under the guidance of the
+      foreman with &ldquo;progressive methods.&rdquo; Groups of idlers, male and female,
+      stood about and commented. Simeon Phinney smilingly replied to their
+      questions. Captain Sol himself seemed little interested. He spent most of
+      his daylight time at the depot, only going to the Higginses' house for his
+      meals. At night, after the station was closed, he sought his own dwelling,
+      climbed over the joist and rollers, entered, retired to his room, and went
+      to bed.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Each day also he grew more taciturn. Even with Simeon, his particular
+      friend, he talked little.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What IS the matter with you, Sol?&rdquo; asked Mr. Phinney. &ldquo;You're as glum as
+      a tongue-tied parrot. Ain't you satisfied with the way I'm doin' your
+      movin'? The white horse can go back again if you say so.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I'm satisfied,&rdquo; grunted the depot master. &ldquo;Let you know when I've got any
+      fault to find. How soon will you get abreast the&mdash;abreast the Seabury
+      lot?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Let's see,&rdquo; mused the building mover. &ldquo;Today's the eighth. Well, I'll be
+      there by the eleventh, SURE. Can't drag it out no longer, Sol, even if the
+      other horse is took sick. 'Twon't do. Williams has been complainin' to the
+      selectmen and they're beginnin' to pester me. As for that Colt and Adams
+      foreman&mdash;whew!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He whistled. His companion smiled grimly.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Williams himself drops in to see me occasional,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Tells me what
+      he thinks of me, with all the trimmin's added. I cal'late he gets as good
+      as he sends. I'm always glad to see him; he keeps me cheered up, in his
+      way.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ye-es, I shouldn't wonder. Was he in to-day?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He was. And somethin' has pleased him, I guess. At any rate he was in
+      better spirits. Asked me if I was goin' to move right onto that Main
+      Street lot soon as my house got there.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What did you say?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I said I was cal'latin' to. Told him I hated to get out of the
+      high-society circles I'd been livin' in lately, but that everyone had
+      their comedowns in this world.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ho, ho! that was a good one. What answer did he make to that?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, he said the 'high society' would miss me. Then he finished up with
+      a piece of advice. 'Berry,' says he, 'don't move onto that lot TOO quick.
+      I wouldn't if I was you.' Then he went away, chucklin'.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Chucklin', hey? What made him so joyful?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Don't know&rdquo;&mdash;Captain Sol's face clouded once more&mdash;&ldquo;and I care
+      less,&rdquo; he added brusquely.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Simeon pondered. &ldquo;Have you heard from Abner Payne, Sol?&rdquo; he asked. &ldquo;Has Ab
+      answered that letter you wrote sayin' you'd swap your lot for the Main
+      Street one?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No, he hasn't. I wrote him that day I told you to move me.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hum! that's kind of funny. You don't s'pose&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He stopped, noticing the expression on his friend's face. The depot master
+      was looking out through the open door of the waiting room. On the opposite
+      side of the road, just emerging from Mr. Higgins's &ldquo;general store,&rdquo; was
+      Olive Edwards, the widow whose home was to be pulled down as soon as the
+      &ldquo;Colonial&rdquo; reached its destination. She came out of the store and started
+      up Main Street. Suddenly, and as if obeying an involuntary impulse, she
+      turned her head. Her eyes met those of Captain Sol Berry, the depot
+      master. For a brief instant their glance met, then Mrs. Edwards hurried
+      on.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Sim Phinney sighed pityingly. &ldquo;Looks kind of tired and worried, don't
+      she?&rdquo; he ventured. His friend did not speak.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I say,&rdquo; repeated Phinney, &ldquo;that Olive looks sort of worn out and&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Has she heard from the Omaha cousin yet?&rdquo; interrupted the depot master.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No; Mr. Hilton says not. Sol, what DO you s'pose&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      But Captain Sol had risen and gone into the ticket office. The door closed
+      behind him. Mr. Phinney shook his head and walked out of the building. On
+      his way back to the scene of the house moving he shook his head several
+      times.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      On the afternoon of the ninth Captain Bailey Stitt and his friend Wingate
+      came to say good-by. Stitt was going back to Orham on the &ldquo;up&rdquo; train, due
+      at 3:30. Barzilla would return to Wellmouth and the Old Home House on the
+      evening (the &ldquo;down&rdquo;) train.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hey, Sol!&rdquo; shouted Wingate, as they entered the waiting room. &ldquo;Sol! where
+      be you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The depot master came out of the ticket office. &ldquo;Hello, boys!&rdquo; he said
+      shortly.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hello, Sol!&rdquo; hailed Stitt. &ldquo;Barzilla and me have come to shed the
+      farewell tear. As hirelin's of soulless corporations, meanin' the Old Home
+      House at Wellmouth and the Ocean House at Orham, we've engaged all the
+      shellfish along-shore and are goin' to clear out.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; chimed in his fellow &ldquo;hireling,&rdquo; &ldquo;and we thought the pleasantest
+      place to put in our few remainin' hours&mdash;as the papers say when a
+      feller's goin' to be hung&mdash;was with you.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I thought so,&rdquo; said Captain Bailey, with a wink. &ldquo;We've been havin' more
+      or less of an argument, Sol. Remember how Barzilla made fun of Jonadab
+      Wixon for believin' in dreams? Yes, well that was only make believe. He
+      believes in 'em himself.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I don't either,&rdquo; declared Wingate. &ldquo;And I never said so. What I said was
+      that sometimes it almost seemed as if there was somethin' IN fortune
+      tellin' and such.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There is,&rdquo; chuckled Bailey with another wink at the depot master.
+      &ldquo;There's money in it&mdash;for the fortune tellers.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I said&mdash;and I say again,&rdquo; protested Barzilla, &ldquo;that I knew a case at
+      our hotel of a servant girl named Effie, and she&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Oh, Heavens to Betsy! Here he goes again, I steered him in here on
+      purpose, Sol, so's he'd get off that subject.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You never neither. You said&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The depot master held up his hand. &ldquo;Don't both talk at once,&rdquo; he
+      commanded. &ldquo;Set down and be peaceful, can't you. That's right. What about
+      this Effie, Barzilla?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Now look here!&rdquo; protested Stitt.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Shut up, Bailey! Who was Effie, Barzilla?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She was third assistant roustabout and table girl at the Old Home House,&rdquo;
+       said Wingate triumphantly. &ldquo;Got another cigar, Sol? Thanks. Yes, this
+      Effie had never worked out afore and she was greener'n a mess of spinach;
+      but she was kind of pretty to look at and&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ah, ha!&rdquo; crowed Captain Bailey, &ldquo;here comes the heart confessions. Want
+      to look out for these old bachelors, Sol. Fire away, Barzilla; let us know
+      the worst.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I took a fancy to her, in a way. She got in the habit of tellin' me her
+      troubles and secrets, me bein' old enough to be her dad&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Aw, yes!&rdquo; this from Stitt, the irrepressible. &ldquo;That's an old gag. We know&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;WILL you shut up?&rdquo; demanded Captain Sol. &ldquo;Go on, Barzilla.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Me bein' old enough to be her dad,&rdquo; with a glare at Captain Bailey, &ldquo;and
+      not bein' too proud to talk with hired help. I never did have that
+      high-toned notion. 'Twa'n't so long since I was a fo'mast hand.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So Effie told me a lot about herself. Seems she'd been over to the Cattle
+      Show at Ostable one year, and she was loaded to the gunwale with some more
+      or less facts that a fortune-tellin' specimen by the name of the
+      'Marvelous Oriental Seer' had handed her in exchange for a quarter.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yup,' says she, bobbin' her head so emphatic that the sky-blue ribbon
+      pennants on her black hair flapped like a loose tops'l in a gale of wind.
+      'Yup,' says she, 'I b'lieve it just as much as I b'lieve anything. How
+      could I help it when he told me so much that has come true already? He
+      said I'd seen trouble, and the dear land knows that's so! and that I might
+      see more, and I cal'late that's pretty average likely. And he said I
+      hadn't been brought up in luxury&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Which wa'n't no exaggeration neither,' I put in, thinkin' of the shack
+      over on the Neck Road where she and her folks used to live.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No,' says she; 'and he told me I'd always had longin's for better and
+      higher things and that my intellectuals was above my station. Well, ever
+      sence I was knee high to a kitchen chair I'd ruther work upstairs than
+      down, and as for intellectuals, ma always said I was the smartest young
+      one she'd raised yet. So them statements give me consider'ble confidence.
+      But he give out that I was to make a journey and get money, and when THAT
+      come true I held up both hands and stood ready to swaller all the rest of
+      it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'So it come true, did it?' says I.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Um-hm,' says she, bouncin' her head again. 'Inside of four year I
+      traveled 'way over to South Eastboro&mdash;'most twelve mile&mdash;to my
+      Uncle Issy's fun'ral, and there I found that he'd left me nine hundred
+      dollars for my very own. And down I flops on the parlor sofy and says I:
+      &ldquo;There! don't talk superstition to ME no more! A person that can foretell
+      Uncle Issy's givin' anybody a cent, let alone nine hundred dollars, is a
+      good enough prophet for ME to tie to. Now I KNOW that I'm going to marry
+      the dark-complected man, and I'll be ready for him when he comes along. I
+      never spent a quarter no better than when I handed it over to that
+      Oriental Seer critter at the Cattle Show.&rdquo; That's what I said then and I
+      b'lieve it yet. Wouldn't you feel the same way?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I said sure thing I would. I'd found out that the best way to keep
+      Effie's talk shop runnin' was to agree with her. And I liked to hear her
+      talk.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yup,' she went on, 'I give right in then. I'd traveled same as the
+      fortune teller said, and I'd got more money'n I ever expected to see, let
+      alone own. And ever sence I've been sartin as I'm alive that the feller I
+      marry will be of a rank higher'n mine and dark complected and good-lookin'
+      and distinguished, and that he'll be name of Butler.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Butler?' says I. 'What will he be named Butler for?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;''Cause the Seer critter said so. He said he could see the word Butler
+      printed out over the top of my head in flamin' letters. Pa used to say
+      'twas a wonder it never set fire to my crimps, but he was only foolin'. I
+      know that it's all comin' out true. You ain't acquaintanced to any
+      Butlers, are you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No,' says I. 'I heard Ben Butler make a speech once when he was gov'nor,
+      but he's dead now. There ain't no Butlers on the Old Home shippin' lists.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, I know that!' she says. 'And everybody round here is homelier'n a
+      moultin' pullet. There now! I didn't mean exactly EVERYbody, of course.
+      But you ain't dark complected, you know, nor&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No,' says I, 'nor rank nor distinguished neither. Course the handsome
+      part might fit me, but I'd have to pass on the rest of the hand. That's
+      all right, Effie; my feelin's have got fire-proofed sence I've been in the
+      summer hotel business. Now you'd better run along and report to Susannah.
+      I hear her whoopin' for you, and she don't light like a canary bird on the
+      party she's mad with.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She didn't, that was a fact. Susannah Debs, who was housekeeper for us
+      that year, was middlin' young and middlin' good-lookin', and couldn't
+      forget it. Also and likewise, she had a suit for damages against the
+      railroad, which she had hopes would fetch her money some day or other, and
+      she couldn't forget that neither. She was skipper of all the hired hands
+      and, bein' as Effie was prettier than she was, never lost a chance to lay
+      the poor girl out. She put the other help up to pokin' fun at Effie's
+      green ways and high-toned notions, and 'twas her that started 'em callin'
+      her 'Lady Evelyn' in the fo'castle&mdash;servants' quarters, I mean.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I'm a-comin', 'screams Effie, startin' for the door. 'Susannah's in a
+      tearin' hurry to get through early to-day,' she adds to me. 'She's got the
+      afternoon off, and her beau's comin' to take her buggy ridin'. He's from
+      over Harniss way somewheres and they say he's just lovely. My sakes! I
+      wisht somebody'd take ME to ride. Ah hum! cal'late I'll have to wait for
+      my Butler man. Say, Mr. Wingate, you won't mention my fortune to a soul,
+      will you? I never told anybody but you.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I promised to keep mum and she cleared out. After dinner, as I was
+      smokin', along with Cap'n Jonadab, on the side piazza, a horse and buggy
+      drove in at the back gate. A young chap with black curly hair was pilotin'
+      the craft. He was a stranger to me, wore a checkerboard suit and a bonfire
+      necktie, and had his hat twisted over one ear. Altogether he looked some
+      like a sunflower goin' to seed.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Who's that barber's sign when it's to home?' says I to Jonadab. He
+      snorted contemptuous.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'That?' he says. 'Don't you know the cut of that critter's jib? He plays
+      pool &ldquo;for the house&rdquo; in Web Saunders's place over to Orham. He's the
+      housekeeper's steady comp'ny&mdash;steady by spells, if all I hear's true.
+      Good-for-nothin' cub, I call him. Wisht I'd had him aboard a vessel of
+      mine; I'd 'a' squared his yards for him. Look how he cants his hat to
+      starboard so's to show them lovelocks. Bah!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What's his name?' I asks.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Name? Name's Butler&mdash;Simeon Butler. Don't you remember . . . Hey?
+      What in tunket . . .?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Both of us had jumped as if somebody'd touched off a bombshell under our
+      main hatches. The windows of the dining room was right astern of us. We
+      whirled round, and there was Effie. She'd been clearin' off one of the
+      tables and there she stood, with the smashed pieces of an ice-cream
+      platter in front of her, the melted cream sloppin' over her shoes, and her
+      face lookin' like the picture of Lot's wife just turnin' to salt. Only
+      Effie looked as if she enjoyed the turnin'. She never spoke nor moved,
+      just stared after that buggy with her black eyes sparklin' like burnt
+      holes in a blanket.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I was too astonished to say anything, but Jonadab had his eye on that
+      smashed platter and HE had things to say, plenty of 'em. I walked off and
+      left Effie playin' congregation to a sermon on the text 'Crockery costs
+      money.' You'd think that ice-cream dish was a genuine ugly, nicked
+      'antique' wuth any city loon's ten dollars, instead of bein' only new and
+      pretty fifty-cent china. I felt real sorry for the poor girl.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But I needn't have been. That evenin' I found her on the back steps, all
+      Sunday duds and airs. Her hair had a wire friz on it, and her dress had
+      Joseph's coat in Scriptur' lookin' like a mournin' rig. She'd have been
+      real handsome&mdash;to a body that was color blind.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'My, Effie!' says I, 'you sartin do look fine to-night.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yup,' she says, contented, 'I guess likely I do. Hope so, 'cause I'm
+      wearin' all I've got. Say, Mr. Wingate,' says she, excited as a cat in a
+      fit, 'did you see him?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Him?' says I. 'Who's him?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Why, HIM! The one the Seer said was comin'. The handsome,
+      dark-complected feller I'm goin' to marry. The Butler one. That was him in
+      the buggy this afternoon.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I looked at her. I'd forgot all about the fool prophecy.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Good land of love!' I says. 'You don't cal'late he's comin' to marry
+      YOU, do you, just 'cause his name's Butler? There's ten thousand Butlers
+      in the world. Besides, your particular one was slated to be high ranked
+      and distinguished, and this specimen scrubs up the billiard-room floor and
+      ain't no more distinguished than a poorhouse pig.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Ain't?' she sings out. 'Ain't distinguished? With all them beautiful
+      curls, and rings on his fingers, and&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Bells on his toes? No!' says I, emphatic. 'Anyhow, he's signed for the
+      v'yage already. He's Susannah Debs's steady, and they're off buggy ridin'
+      together right now. And if she catches you makin' eyes at her best feller&mdash;Whew!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Didn't make no difference. He was her Butler, sure. 'Twas Fate&mdash;that's
+      what 'twas&mdash;Fate, just the same as in storybooks. She was sorry for
+      poor Susannah and she wouldn't do nothin' mean nor underhanded; but
+      couldn't I understand that 'twas all planned out for her by Providence and
+      that everlastin' Seer? Just let me watch and see, that's all.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What can you do with an idiot like that? I walked off disgusted and left
+      her. But I cal'lated to watch. I judged 'twould be more fun than any
+      'play-actin' show ever I took in.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And 'twas, in a way. Don't ask me how they got acquainted, 'cause I can't
+      tell you for sartin. Nigh's I can learn, Susannah and Sim had some sort of
+      lover's row durin' their buggy ride, and when they got back to the hotel
+      they was scurcely on speakin' terms. And Sim, who always had a watch out
+      for'ard for pretty girls, see Effie standin' on the servants' porch all
+      togged up regardless and gay as a tea-store chromo, and nothin' to do but
+      he must be introduced. One of the stable hands done the introducin', I
+      b'lieve, and if he'd have been hung afterwards 'twould have sarved him
+      right.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Anyhow, inside of a week Butler come round again to take a lady friend
+      drivin', but this time 'twas Effie, not the housekeeper, that was
+      passenger. And Susannah glared after 'em like a cat after a sparrow, and
+      the very next day she was for havin' Effie discharged for
+      incompetentiveness. I give Jonadab the tip, though, so that didn't go
+      through. But I cal'late there was a parrot and monkey time among the help
+      from then on.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;They all sided with Susannah, of course. She was their boss, for one
+      thing, and 'Lady Evelyn's' high-minded notions wa'n't popular, for
+      another. But Effie didn't care&mdash;bless you, no! She and that Butler
+      sport was together more and more, and the next thing I heard was that they
+      was engaged. I snum, if it didn't look as if the Oriental man knew his job
+      after all.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I spoke to the stable hand about it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Look here,' says I, 'is this business betwixt that pool player and our
+      Effie serious?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He laughed. 'Serious enough, I guess,' he says. 'They're goin' to be
+      married pretty soon, I hear. It's all 'cordin' to the law and the
+      prophets. Ain't you heard about the fortune tellin' and how 'twas foretold
+      she'd marry a Butler?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I'd heard, but I didn't s'pose he had. However, it seemed that Effie
+      hadn't been able to keep it to herself no longer. Soon as she'd hooked her
+      man she'd blabbed the whole thing. The fo'mast hands wa'n't talkin' of
+      nothin' else, so this feller said.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Humph!' says I. 'Is it the prophecy that Butler's bankin' on?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He laughed again. 'Not so much as on Lady Evelyn's nine hundred, I
+      cal'late,' says he. Sim likes Susannah the best of the two, so we all
+      reckon, but she ain't rich and Effie is. And yet, if the Debs woman should
+      win that lawsuit of hers against the railroad she'd have pretty nigh twice
+      as much. Butler's a fool not to wait, I think,' he says.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;This was of a Monday. On Friday evenin' Effie comes around to see me. I
+      was alone in the office.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Mr. Wingate,' she says, 'I'm goin' to leave to-morrer night. I'm goin'
+      to be married on Sunday.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I'd been expecting it, but I couldn't help feelin' sorry for her.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Don't do nothin' rash, Effie,' I told her. 'Are you sure that Butler
+      critter cares anything about you and not your money?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She flared up like a tar barrel. 'The idea!' she says, turnin' red. 'I
+      just come in to give you warnin'. Good-by.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hold on,' I sung out to her. 'Effie, I've thought consider'ble about you
+      lately. I've been tryin' to help you a little on the sly. I realized that
+      'twa'n't pleasant for you workin' here under Susannah Debs, and I've been
+      tryin' to find a nice place for you. I wrote about you to Bob Van
+      Wedderburn; he's the rich banker chap who stopped here one summer.
+      &ldquo;Jonesy,&rdquo; we used to call him. I know him and his wife fust rate, and he'd
+      do 'most anything as a favor to me. I told him what a neat, handy girl you
+      was, and he writes that he'll give you the job of second girl at his swell
+      New York house, if you want it. Now you just hand that Sim Butler his
+      clearance papers and go work for Bob's wife. The wages are double what you
+      get here, and&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She didn't wait to hear the rest. Just sailed out of the room with her
+      nose in the air. In a minute, though, back she come and just put her head
+      in the door.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I'm much obliged to you, Mr. Wingate,' says she. 'I know you mean well.
+      But you ain't had your fate foretold, same's I have. It's all been
+      arranged for me, and I couldn't stop it no more'n Jonah could help
+      swallerin' the whale. I&mdash;I kind of wish you'd be on hand at the back
+      door on Sunday mornin' when Simeon comes to take me away. You&mdash;you're
+      about the only real friend I've got,' she says.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And off she went, for good this time. I pitied her, in spite of her bein'
+      such a dough head. I knew what sort of a husband that pool-room shark
+      would make. However, there wa'n't nothin' to be done. And next day Cap'n
+      Jonadab was round, madder'n a licked pup. Seems Susannah's lawyer at Orham
+      had sent for her to come right off and see him. Somethin' about the suit,
+      it was. And she was goin' in spite of everything. And with Effie's leavin'
+      at the same time, what was we goin' to do over Sunday? and so forth and so
+      on.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, we had to do the best we could, that's all. But that Saturday was
+      busy, now I tell you. Sunday mornin' broke fine and clear and, after
+      breakfast was over, I remembered Effie and that 'twas her weddin' day. On
+      the back steps I found her, dressed in all her grandeur, with her packed
+      trunk ready, waitin' for the bridegroom.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Ain't come yet, hey, Effie?' says I.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No,' says she, smilin' and radiant. 'It's a little early for him yet, I
+      guess.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I went off to 'tend to the boarders. At half past ten, when I made the
+      back steps again, she was still there. T'other servants was peekin' out of
+      the kitchen windows, grinnin' and passin' remarks.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hello!' I calls out. 'Not married yet? What's the matter?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She'd stopped smilin', but she was as chipper as ever, to all
+      appearances.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I&mdash;I guess the horse has gone lame or somethin',' says she. 'He'll
+      be here any time now.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There was a cackle from the kitchen windows. I never said nothin'. She'd
+      made her nest; now let her roost on it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But at twelve Butler hadn't hove in sight. Every hand, male and female,
+      on the place, that wa'n't busy, was hangin' around the back of the hotel,
+      waitin' and watchin' and ridiculin' and havin' a high time. Them that had
+      errands made it a p'int to cruise past that way. Lots of the boarders had
+      got wind of the doin's, and they was there, too.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Effie was settin' on her trunk, tryin' hard to look brave. I went up and
+      spoke to her.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Come, my girl,' says I. 'Don't set here no longer. Come into the house
+      and wait. Hadn't you better?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No!' says she, loud and defiant like. 'No, sir! It's all right. He's a
+      little late, that's all. What do you s'pose I care for a lot of jealous
+      folks like those up there?' wavin' her flipper scornful toward the
+      kitchen.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And then, all to once, she kind of broke down, and says to me, with a
+      pitiful sort of choke in her voice:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, Mr. Wingate! I can't stand this. Why DON'T he come?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I tried hard to think of somethin' comfortin' to say, but afore I could
+      h'ist a satisfyin' word out of my hatches I heard the noise of a carriage
+      comin'. Effie heard it, too, and so did everybody else. We all looked
+      toward the gate. 'Twas Sim Butler, sure enough, in his buggy and drivin'
+      the same old horse; but settin' alongside of him on the seat was Susannah
+      Debs, the housekeeper. And maybe she didn't look contented with things in
+      gen'ral!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Butler pulled up his horse by the gate. Him and Susannah bowed to all
+      hands. Nobody said anything for a minute. Then Effie bounced off the trunk
+      and down them steps.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Simmie' she sung out, breathless like, 'Simeon Butler, what does this
+      mean?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The Debs woman straightened up on the seat. 'Thank you, marm,' says she,
+      chilly as the top section of an ice chest, 'I'll request you not to call
+      my husband by his first name.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It was so still you could have heard yourself grow. Effie turned white as
+      a Sunday tablecloth.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Your&mdash;husband?' she gasps. 'Your&mdash;your HUSBAND?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes, marm,' purrs the housekeeper. 'My husband was what I said. Mr.
+      Butler and me have just been married.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Sorry, Effie, old girl,' puts in Butler, so sassy I'd love to have
+      preached his fun'ral sermon. 'Too bad, but fust love's strongest, you
+      know. Susie and me was engaged long afore you come to town.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;THEN such a haw-haw and whoop bust from the kitchen and fo'castle as you
+      never heard. For a jiffy poor Effie wilted right down. Then she braced up
+      and her black eyes snapped.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I wish you joy of your bargain, marm,' says she to Susannah. 'You'd
+      ought to be proud of it. And as for YOU,' she says, swingin' round toward
+      the rest of the help, 'I&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'How 'bout that prophet?' hollers somebody.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Three cheers for the Oriental!' bellers somebody else.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'When you marry the right Butler fetch him along and let us see him!'
+      whoops another.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She faced 'em all, and I gloried in her spunk.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'When I marry him I WILL come back,' says she. 'And when I do you'll have
+      to get down on your knees and wait on me. You&mdash;and you&mdash;Yes, and
+      YOU, too!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The last two 'yous' was hove at Sim and Susannah. Then she turned and
+      marched into the hotel. And the way them hired hands carried on was
+      somethin' scandalous&mdash;till I stepped in and took charge of the deck.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That very afternoon I put Effie and her trunk aboard the train. I paid
+      her fare to New York and give her directions how to locate the Van
+      Wedderburns.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'So long, Effie,' says I to her. 'It's all right. You're enough sight
+      better off. All you want to do now is to work hard and forget all that
+      fortune-tellin' foolishness.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She whirled on me like a top.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Forget it!' she says. 'I GUESS I shan't forget it! It's comin' true, I
+      tell you&mdash;same as all the rest come true. You said yourself there was
+      ten thousand Butlers in the world. Some day the right one&mdash;the
+      handsome, high-ranked, distinguished one&mdash;will come along, and I'll
+      get him. You wait and see, Mr. Wingate&mdash;just you wait and see.'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0015" id="link2HCH0015">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER XV
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      THE &ldquo;HERO&rdquo; AND THE COWBOY
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So that was the end of it, hey?&rdquo; said Captain Bailey. &ldquo;Well, it's what
+      you might expect, but it wa'n't much to be so anxious to tell; and as for
+      PROVIN' anything about fortune tellin'&mdash;why&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It AIN'T the end,&rdquo; shouted the exasperated Barzilla. &ldquo;Not nigh the end.
+      'Twas the beginnin'. The housekeeper left us that day, of course, and for
+      the rest of that summer the servant question kept me and Jonadab from
+      thinkin' of other things. Course, the reason for the Butler scamp's sudden
+      switch was plain enough. Susannah's lawyer had settled the case with the
+      railroad and, even after his fee was subtracted, there was fifteen hundred
+      left. That was enough sight better'n nine hundred, so Sim figgered when he
+      heard of it; and he hustled to make up with his old girl.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Fifteen hundred dollars doesn't last long with some folks. At the
+      beginnin' of the next spring season both of 'em was round huntin' jobs.
+      Susannah was a fust-rate waitress, so we hired her for that&mdash;no more
+      housekeeper for hers, and served her right. As for her husband, we took
+      him on in the stable. He wouldn't have been wuth his salt if it hadn't
+      been for her. She said she'd keep him movin' and she did. She nagged and
+      henpecked him till I'd have been sorry if 'twas anybody else; as 'twas, I
+      got consider'ble satisfaction out of it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I got one letter from Effie pretty soon after she left, sayin' she liked
+      her new job and that the Van Wedderburns liked her. And that's all I did
+      hear, though Bob himself wrote me in May, sayin' him and Mabel, his wife,
+      had bought a summer cottage in Wapatomac, and me and Jonadab&mdash;especially
+      me&mdash;must be sure and come to see it and them. He never mentioned his
+      second girl, and I almost forgot her myself.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But one afternoon in early July a big six-cylinder automobile come
+      sailin' down the road and into the Old Home House yard. A shofer&mdash;I
+      b'lieve that's what they call the tribe&mdash;was at the helm of it, and
+      on the back seat, lollin' luxurious against the upholstery, was a man and
+      a woman, got up regardless in silk dusters and goggles and veils and
+      prosperity. I never expect to see the Prince of Wales and his wife, but I
+      know how they'd look&mdash;after seein' them two.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Jonadab was at the bottom step to welcome 'em, bowin' and scrapin' as if
+      his middle j'int had just been iled. I wa'n't fur astern, and every
+      boarder on deck was all eyes and envy.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The shofer opens the door of the after cockpit of the machine, and the
+      man gets out fust, treadin' gingerly but grand, as if he was doin' the
+      ground a condescension by steppin' on it. Then he turns to the woman and
+      she slides out, her duds rustlin' like the wind in a scrub oak. The pair
+      sails up the steps, Jonadab and me backin' and fillin' in front of 'em.
+      All the help that could get to a window to peek had knocked off work to do
+      it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Ahem!' says the man, pompous as Julius Caesar&mdash;he was big and
+      straight and fine lookin' and had black side whiskers half mast on his
+      cheeks&mdash;ahem!' says he. 'I say, good people, may we have dinner
+      here?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, they tell us time and tide waits for no man, but prob'ly that don't
+      include the nobility. Anyhow, although 'twas long past our reg'lar dinner
+      time, I heard Jonadab tellin' 'em sure and sartin they could. If they
+      wouldn't mind settin' on the piazza or in the front parlor for a spell,
+      he'd have somethin' prepared in a jiffy. So up to the piazza they paraded
+      and come to anchor in a couple of chairs.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You can have your automobile put right into the barn,' I says, 'if you
+      want to.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I don't know as it will be necessary&mdash;' began the big feller, but
+      the woman interrupted him. She was starin' through her thick veil at the
+      barn door. Sim Butler, in his overalls and ragged shirt sleeves, was
+      leanin' against that door, interested as the rest of us in what was goin'
+      on.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I would have it put there, I think,' says the woman, lofty and superior.
+      'It is rather dusty, and I think the wheels ought to be washed. Can that
+      man be trusted to wash 'em?' she asks, pointin' kind of scornful at
+      Simeon.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes, marm, I cal'late so,' I says. 'Here, Sim!' I sung out, callin'
+      Butler over to the steps. 'Can you wash the dust off them wheels?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He said course he could, but he didn't act joyful over the job. The woman
+      seemed some doubtful.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'He looks like a very ignorant, common person,' says she, loud and clear,
+      so that everybody, includin' the 'ignorant person' himself, could hear
+      her. 'However, James'll superintend. James,' she orders the shofer, 'you
+      see that it is well done, won't you? Make him be very careful.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;James looked Butler over from head to foot. 'Humph!' he sniffs,
+      contemptuous, with a kind of half grin on his face. 'Yes, marm, I'll 'tend
+      to it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So he steered the auto into the barn, and Simeon got busy. Judgin' by the
+      sharp language that drifted out through the door, 'twas plain that the
+      shofer was superintendin' all right.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Jonadab heaves in sight, bowin', and makes proclamation that dinner is
+      served. The pair riz up majestic and headed for the dinin' room. The woman
+      was a little astern of her man, and in the hall she turns brisk to me.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Mr. Wingate,' she whispers, 'Mr. Wingate.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I stared at her. Her voice had sounded sort of familiar ever sence I
+      heard it, but the veil kept a body from seein' what she looked like.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hey?' I sings out. 'Have I ever&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'S-s-h-h!' she whispers. 'Say, Mr. Wingate, that&mdash;that Susannah
+      thing is here, ain't she? Have her wait on us, will you, please?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And she swept the veil off her face. I choked up and staggered bang!
+      against the wall. I swan to man if it wa'n't Effie! EFFIE, in silks and
+      automobiles and gorgeousness!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Afore I could come to myself the two of 'em marched into that dining
+      room. I heard a grunt and a 'Land of love!' from just ahead of me. That
+      was Jonadab. And from all around that dinin' room come a sort of gasp and
+      then the sound of whisperin'. That was the help.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;They took a table by the window, which had been made ready. Down they set
+      like a king and a queen perchin' on thrones. One of the waiter girls went
+      over to em.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But I'd come out of my trance a little mite. The situation was miles
+      ahead of my brain, goodness knows, but the joke of it all was gettin' a
+      grip on me. I remembered what Effie had asked and I spoke up prompt.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Susannah,' says I, 'this is a particular job and we're anxious to
+      please. You'd better do the waitin' yourself.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I wish you could have seen the glare that ex-housekeeper give me. For a
+      second I thought we'd have open mutiny. But her place wa'n't any too
+      sartin and she didn't dare risk it. Over she walked to that table, and the
+      fun began.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Jonadab had laid himself out to make that meal a success, but they ate it
+      as if 'twas pretty poor stuff and not by no means what they fed on every
+      day. They found fault with 'most everything, but most especial with
+      Susannah's waitin'. My! how they did order her around&mdash;a mate on a
+      cattle boat wa'n't nothin' to it. And when 'twas all over and they got up
+      to go, Effie says, so's all hands can hear:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'The food here is not so bad, but the service&mdash;oh, horrors! However,
+      Albert,' says she to the side-whiskered man, 'you had better give the girl
+      our usual tip. She looks as if she needed it, poor thing!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then they paraded out of the room, and I see Susannah sling the half
+      dollar the man had left on the table clear to Jericho, it seemed like.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The auto was waitin' by the piazza steps. The shofer and Butler was
+      standin' by it. And when Sim see Effie with her veil throwed back he
+      pretty nigh fell under the wheels he'd been washin' so hard. And he looked
+      as if he wisht they'd run over him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, dear!' sighs Effie, lookin' scornful at the wheels. 'Not half clean,
+      just as I expected. I knew by the looks of that&mdash;that PERSON that he
+      wouldn't do it well. Don't give him much, Albert; he ain't earned it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;They climbed into the cockpit, the shofer took the helm, and they was
+      ready to start. But I couldn't let 'em go that way. Out I run.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Say&mdash;say, Effie!' I whispers, eager. 'For the goodness' sakes,
+      what's all this mean? Is that your&mdash;your&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'My husband? Yup,' she whispers back, her eyes shinin'. 'Didn't I tell
+      you to look out for my prophecy? Ain't he handsome and distinguished, just
+      as I said? Good-by, Mr. Wingate; maybe I'll see you again some day.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The machinery barked and they got under way. I run along for two steps
+      more.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But, Effie,' says I, 'tell me&mdash;is his name&mdash;?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She didn't answer. She was watchin' Sim Butler and his wife. Sim had
+      stooped to pick up the quarter the Prince of Wales had hove at him. And
+      that was too much for Susannah, who was watchin' from the window.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Don't you touch that money!' she screams. 'Don't you lay a finger on it!
+      Ain't you got any self-respect at all, you miser'ble, low-lived&mdash;'
+      and so forth and so on. All the way to the front gate I see Effie leanin'
+      out, lookin' and listenin' and smilin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then the machine buzzed off in a typhoon of dust and I went back to
+      Jonadab, who was a livin' catechism of questions which neither one of us
+      could answer.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So THAT'S the end!&rdquo; exclaimed Captain Bailey. &ldquo;Well&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No, it ain't the end&mdash;not even yet. Maybe it ought to be, but it
+      ain't. There's a little more of it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;A fortni't later I took a couple of days off and went up to Wapatomac to
+      visit the Van Wedderburns, same as I'd promised. Their 'cottage' was
+      pretty nigh big enough for a hotel, and was so grand that I, even if I did
+      have on my Sunday frills, was 'most ashamed to ring the doorbell.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But I did ring it, and the feller that opened the door was big and solemn
+      and fine lookin' and had side whiskers. Only this time he wore a tail coat
+      with brass buttons on it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;How do you do, Mr. Wingate?' says he. Step right in, sir, if you please.
+      Mr. and Mrs. Van Wedderburn are out in the auto, but they'll be back
+      shortly, and very glad to see you, sir, I'm sure. Let me take your grip
+      and hat. Step right into the reception room and wait, if you please, sir.
+      Perhaps,' he says, and there was a twinkle in his port eye, though the
+      rest of his face was sober as the front door of a church, 'perhaps,' says
+      he, 'you might wish to speak with my wife a moment. I'll take the liberty
+      of sendin' her to you, sir.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So, as I sat on the gunwale of a blue and gold chair, tryin' to settle
+      whether I was really crazy or only just dreamin', in bounces Effie, rigged
+      up in a servant's cap and apron. She looked polite and demure, but I could
+      see she was just bubblin' with the joy of the whole bus'ness.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Effie,' says I, 'Effie, what&mdash;what in the world&mdash;?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She giggled. 'Yup,' she says, 'I'm chambermaid here and they treat me
+      fine. Thank you very much for gettin' me the situation.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But&mdash;but them doin's the other day? That automobile&mdash;and them
+      silks and satins&mdash;and&mdash;?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Mr. Van Wedderburn lent 'em to me,' she said, 'him an' his wife. And he
+      lent us the auto and the shofer, too. I told him about my troubles at the
+      Old Home House and he thought 'twould be a great joke for me to travel
+      back there like a lady. He's awful fond of a joke&mdash;Mr. Van Wedderburn
+      is.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But that man?' I gasps. 'Your husband? That's what you said he was.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes,' says she, 'he is. We've been married 'most six months now. My
+      prophecy's all come true. And DIDN'T I rub it in on that Susannah Debs and
+      her scamp of a Sim? Ho! ho!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She clapped her hands and pretty nigh danced a jig, she was so tickled.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But is he a Butler?' I asks.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yup,' she nods, with another giggle. 'He's A butler, though his name's
+      Jenkins; and a butler's high rank&mdash;higher than chambermaid, anyhow.
+      You see, Mr. Wingate,' she adds, ''twas all my fault. When that Oriental
+      Seer man at the show said I was to marry a butler, I forgot to ask him
+      whether you spelt it with a big B or a little one.'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The unexpected manner in which Effie's pet prophecy had been fulfilled
+      amused Captain Sol immensely. He laughed so heartily that Issy McKay
+      looked in at the door with an expression of alarm on his face. The depot
+      master had laughed little during the past few days, and Issy was
+      surprised.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      But Captain Stitt was ready with a denial. He claimed that the prophecy
+      was NOT fulfilled and therefore all fortune telling was fraudulent.
+      Barzilla retorted hotly, and the argument began again. The two were
+      shouting at each other. Captain Sol stood it for a while and then
+      commanded silence.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Stop your yellin'!&rdquo; he ordered. &ldquo;What ails you fellers? Think you can
+      prove it better by screechin'? They can hear you half a mile. There's
+      Cornelius Rowe standin' gawpin' on the other side of the street this
+      minute. He thinks there's a fire or a riot, one or t'other. Let's change
+      the subject. See here, Bailey, didn't you start to tell us somethin' last
+      time you was in here about your ridin' in an automobile?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I started to&mdash;yes. But nobody'd listen. I rode in one and I sailed
+      in one. You see&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I'm goin' outdoor,&rdquo; declared Barzilla.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No, you're not. Bailey listened to you. Now you do as much for him. I
+      heard a little somethin' about the affair at the time it happened and I'd
+      like to hear the rest of it. How was it, Bailey?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Stitt knocked the ashes from his pipe.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; he began, &ldquo;I didn't know the critter was weak in his top riggin'
+      or I wouldn't have gone with him in the fust place. And he wa'n't real
+      loony, nuther. 'Twas only when he got aboard that&mdash;that ungodly,
+      kerosene-smellin', tootin', buzzin', Old Harry's gocart of his that the
+      craziness begun to show. There's so many of them weak-minded city folks
+      from the Ocean House comes perusin' 'round summers, nowadays, that I
+      cal'lated he was just an average specimen, and never examined him close.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Are all the Ocean House boarders weak-minded nowadays?&rdquo; asked the depot
+      master.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Wingate answered the question.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;My land!&rdquo; he snapped; &ldquo;would they board at the Ocean House if they WA'N'T
+      weak-minded?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Bailey did not deign to reply to this jibe. He continued calmly:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;This feller wa'n't an Ocean Houser, though. He was young Stumpton's
+      automobile skipper-shover, or shofer, or somethin' they called him. He
+      answered to the hail of Billings, and his home port was the Stumpton
+      ranch, 'way out in Montana. He'd been here in Orham only a couple of
+      weeks, havin' come plumb across the United States to fetch his boss the
+      new automobile. You see, 'twas early October. The Stumptons had left their
+      summer place on the Cliff Road, and was on their way South for the winter.
+      Young Stumpton was up to Boston, but he was comin' back in a couple of
+      days, and then him and the shover was goin' automobilin' to Florida. To
+      Florida, mind you! In that thing! If it was me I'd buy my ticket to Tophet
+      direct and save time and money.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, anyhow, this critter Billings, he ain't never smelt salt water
+      afore, and he don't like the smell. He makes proclamations that Orham is
+      nothin' but sand, slush, and soft drinks. He won't sail, he can't swim, he
+      won't fish; but he's hankerin' to shoot somethin', havin' been brought up
+      in a place where if you don't shoot some of the neighbors every day or so
+      folks think you're stuck up and dissociable. Then somebody tells him it's
+      the duckin' season down to Setuckit P'int, and he says he'll spend his day
+      off, while the boss is away, massycreein' the coots there. This same
+      somebody whispers that I know so much about ducks that I quack when I
+      talk, and he comes cruisin' over in the buzz cart to hire me for guide.
+      And&mdash;would you b'lieve it?&mdash;it turns out that he's cal'latin' to
+      make his duckin' v'yage in that very cart. I was for makin' the trip in a
+      boat, like a sensible man, but he wouldn't hear of it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Land of love!' says I. 'Go to Setuckit in a automobile?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Why not?' he says. 'The biscuit shooter up at the hotel tells me there's
+      a smart chance of folks goes there a-horseback. And where a hoss can
+      travel I reckon the old gal here'&mdash;slappin' the thwart of the auto
+      alongside of him&mdash;'can go, too!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But there's the Cut-through,' says I.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;''Tain't nothin' but a creek when the freshet's over, they tell me,' says
+      he. 'And me and the boss have forded four foot of river in this very
+      machine.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;By the 'freshet' bein' over I judged he meant the tide bein' out. And the
+      Cut-through ain't but a little trickle then, though it's a quarter mile
+      wide and deep enough to float a schooner at high water. It's the strip of
+      channel that makes Setuckit Beach an island, you know. The gov'ment has
+      had engineers down dredgin' of it out, and pretty soon fish boats'll be
+      able to save the twenty-mile sail around the P'int and into Orham Harbor
+      at all hours.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, to make a long story short, I agreed to let him cart me to Setuckit
+      P'int in that everlastin' gas carryall. We was to start at four o'clock in
+      the afternoon, 'cause the tide at the Cut-through would be dead low at
+      half-past four. We'd stay overnight at my shanty at the P'int, get up
+      airly, shoot all day, and come back the next afternoon.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;At four prompt he was on hand, ready for me. I loaded in the guns and
+      grub and one thing or 'nother, and then 'twas time for me to get aboard
+      myself.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You'll set in the tonneau,' says he, indicatin' the upholstered after
+      cockpit of the concern. I opened up the shiny hatch, under orders from
+      him, and climbed in among the upholstery. 'Twas soft as a feather bed.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Jerushy!' says I, lollin' back luxurious. This is fine, ain't it?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Cost seventy-five hundred to build,' he says casual. 'Made to order for
+      the boss. Lightest car of her speed ever turned out.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Go 'way! How you talk! Seventy-five hundred what? Not dollars?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Sure,' he says. Then he turns round&mdash;he was in the bow, hangin' on
+      to the steerin' wheel&mdash;and looks me over, kind of interested, but
+      superior. 'Say,' he says, 'I've been hearin' things about you. You're a
+      hero, ain't you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Durn them Orham gabblers! Ever sence I hauled that crew of seasick summer
+      boarders out of the drink a couple of years ago and the gov'ment gave me a
+      medal, the minister and some more of his gang have painted out the name I
+      was launched under and had me entered on the shippin' list as 'The Hero.'
+      I've licked two or three for callin' me that, but I can't lick a parson,
+      and he was the one that told Billings.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh, I don't know!' I answers pretty sharp. 'Get her under way, why don't
+      you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;All he done was look me over some more and grin.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'A hero! A real live gov'ment-branded hero!' he says. 'Ain't scared of
+      nothin', I reckon&mdash;hey?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I never made no answer. There's some things that's too fresh to eat
+      without salt, and I didn't have a pickle tub handy.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hum!' he says again, reverend-like. 'A sure hero; scared of nothin'!
+      Never rode in an auto afore, did you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No,' says I, peppery; 'and I don't see no present symptom of ridin' in
+      one now. Cast off, won't you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He cast off. That is to say, he hauled a nickel-plated marlinespike thing
+      toward him, shoved another one away from him, took a twist on the steerin'
+      wheel, the gocart coughed like a horse with the heaves, started up some
+      sort of buzz-planer underneath, and then we begun to move.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;From the time we left my shanty at South Orham till we passed the pines
+      at Herrin' Neck I laid back in that stuffed cockpit, feelin' as grand and
+      tainted as old John D. himself. The automobile rolled along smooth but
+      swift, and it seemed to me I had never known what easy trav'lin' was
+      afore. As we rounded the bend by the pines and opened up the twelve-mile
+      narrow white stretch of Setuckit Beach ahead of us, with the ocean on one
+      side and the bay on t'other, I looked at my watch. We'd come that fur in
+      thirteen minutes.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Land sakes!' I says. 'This is what I call movin' right along!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He turned round and sized me up again, like he was surprised.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Movin'?' says he. 'Movin'? Why, pard, we've been settin' down to rest!
+      Out our way, if a lynchin' party didn't move faster than we've done so
+      fur, the center of attraction would die on the road of old age. Now, my
+      heroic college chum,' he goes on, callin' me out of my name, as usual,
+      'will you be so condescendin' as to indicate how we hit the trail?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hit&mdash;hit which? Don't hit nothin', for goodness' sake! Goin' the
+      way we be, it would&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Which way do we go?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Right straight ahead. Keep on the ocean side, 'cause there's more hard
+      sand there, and&mdash;hold on! Don't do that! Stop it, I tell you!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Them was the last rememberable words said by me durin' the next quarter
+      of an hour. That shover man let out a hair-raisin' yell, hauled the nickel
+      marlinespike over in its rack, and squeezed a rubber bag that was spliced
+      to the steerin' wheel. There was a half dozen toots or howls or honks from
+      under our bows somewheres, and then that automobile hopped off the ground
+      and commenced to fly. The fust hop landed me on my knees in the cockpit,
+      and there I stayed. 'Twas the most fittin' position fur my frame of mind
+      and chimed in fust-rate with the general religious drift of my thoughts.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The Cut-through is two mile or more from Herrin' Neck. 'Cordin' to my
+      count we hit terra cotta just three times in them two miles. The fust hit
+      knocked my hat off. The second one chucked me up so high I looked back for
+      the hat, and though we was a half mile away from it, it hadn't had time to
+      git to the ground. And all the while the horn was a-honkin', and Billings
+      was a-screechin, and the sand was a-flyin'. Sand! Why, say! Do you see
+      that extra bald place on the back of my head? Yes? Well, there was a
+      two-inch thatch of hair there afore that sand blast ground it off.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;When I went up on the third jounce I noticed the Cut-through just ahead.
+      Billings see it, too, and&mdash;would you b'lieve it?&mdash;the lunatic
+      stood up, let go of the wheel with one hand, takes off his hat and waves
+      it, and we charge down across them wet tide flats like death on the woolly
+      horse, in Scriptur'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hi, yah! Yip!' whoops Billings. 'Come on in, fellers! The water's fine!
+      Yow! Y-e-e-e! Yip!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;For a second it left off rainin' sand, and there was a typhoon of mud and
+      spray. I see a million of the prettiest rainbows&mdash;that is, I
+      cal'lated there was a million; it's awful hard to count when you're
+      bouncin' and prayin' and drowndin' all to once. Then we sizzed out of the
+      channel, over the flats on t'other side, and on toward Setuckit.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Never mind the rest of the ride. 'Twas all a sort of constant changin'
+      sameness. I remember passin' a blurred life-savin' station, with three&mdash;or
+      maybe thirty&mdash;blurred men jumpin' and laughin' and hollerin'. I found
+      out afterwards that they'd been on the lookout for the bombshell for half
+      an hour. Billings had told around town what he was goin' to do to me, and
+      some kind friend had telephoned it to the station. So the life-savers was
+      full of anticipations. I hope they were satisfied. I hadn't rehearsed my
+      part of the show none, but I feel what the parson calls a consciousness of
+      havin' done my best.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Whoa, gal!' says Billings, calm and easy, puttin' the helm hard down.
+      The auto was standin' still at last. Part of me was hangin' over the lee
+      rail. I could see out of the part, so I knew 'twas my head. And there
+      alongside was my fish shanty at the P'int, goin' round and round in
+      circles.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I undid the hatch of the cockpit and fell out on the sand. Then I
+      scrambled up and caught hold of the shanty as it went past me. That fool
+      shover watched me, seemin'ly interested.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Why, pard,' says he, 'what's the matter? Do you feel pale? Are you
+      nervous? It ain't possible that you're scared? Honest, now, pard, if it
+      weren't that I knew you were a genuine gold-mounted hero I'd sure think
+      you was a scared man.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I never said nothin'. The scenery and me was just turnin' the mark buoy
+      on our fourth lap.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Dear me, pard!' continues Billings. 'I sure hope I ain't scared you
+      none. We come down a little slow this evenin', but to-morrow night, when I
+      take you back home, I'll let the old girl out a little.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I sensed some of that. And as the shanty had about come to anchor, I
+      answered and spoke my mind.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'When you take me back home!' I says. 'When you do! Why, you
+      crack-brained, murderin' lunatic, I wouldn't cruise in that hell wagon of
+      yours again for the skipper's wages on a Cunarder. No, nor the mate's hove
+      in!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And that shover he put his head back and laughed and laughed and
+      laughed.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0016" id="link2HCH0016">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER XVI
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      THE CRUISE OF THE RED CAR
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I don't wonder he laughed,&rdquo; observed Wingate, who seemed to enjoy
+      irritating his friend. &ldquo;You must have been good as a circus.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Humph!&rdquo; grunted the depot master. &ldquo;If I remember right you said YOU
+      wa'n't any ten-cent side show under similar circumstances, Barzilla. Heave
+      ahead, Bailey!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Stitt, unruffled, resumed:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I tell you, I had to take it that evenin',&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;All the time I was
+      cookin' and while he was eatin' supper, Billings was rubbin' it into me
+      about my bein' scared. Called me all the saltwater-hero names he could
+      think of&mdash;'Hobson' and 'Dewey' and the like of that, usin' em
+      sarcastic, of course. Finally, he said he remembered readin' in school,
+      when he was little, about a girl hero, name of Grace Darlin'. Said he
+      cal'lated, if I didn't mind, he'd call me Grace, 'cause it was heroic and
+      yet kind of fitted in with my partic'lar brand of bravery. I didn't answer
+      much; he had me down, and I knew it. Likewise I judged he was more or less
+      out of his head; no sane man would yell the way he done aboard that
+      automobile.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then he commenced to spin yarns about himself and his doin's, and pretty
+      soon it come out that he'd been a cowboy afore young Stumpton give up
+      ranchin' and took to automobilin'. That cleared the sky line some, of
+      course; I'd read consider'ble about cowboys in the ten-cent books my
+      nephew fetched home when he was away to school. I see right off that
+      Billings was the livin' image of Deadwood Dick and Wild Bill and the rest
+      in them books; they yelled and howled and hadn't no regard for life and
+      property any more'n he had. No, sir! He wa'n't no crazier'n they was; it
+      was in the breed, I judged.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I sure wish I had you on the ranch, Grace,' says he. 'Why don't you come
+      West some day? That's where a hero like you would show up strong.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Godfrey mighty!' I sings out. 'I wouldn't come nigh such a nest of crazy
+      murderers as that fur no money! I'd sooner ride in that automobile of
+      yours, and St. Peter himself couldn't coax me into THAT again, not if
+      'twas fur a cruise plumb up the middle of the golden street!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I meant it, too, and the next afternoon when it come time to start for
+      home he found out that I meant it. We'd shot a lot of ducks, and Billings
+      was havin' such a good time that I had to coax and tease him as if he was
+      a young one afore he'd think of quittin'. It was quarter of six when he
+      backed the gas cart out of the shed. I was uneasy, 'cause 'twas past
+      low-water time, and there was fog comin' on.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Brace up, Dewey!' says he. 'Get in.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No, Mr. Billings,' says I. 'I ain't goin' to get in. You take that craft
+      of yourn home, and I'll sail up alongside in my dory.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'In your which?' says he.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'In my dory,' I says. 'That's her hauled up on the beach abreast the
+      shanty.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He looked at the dory and then at me.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Go on!' says he. 'You ain't goin' to pack yourself twelve mile on THAT
+      SHINGLE?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Sartin I am! says I. 'I ain't takin' no more chances.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Do you know, he actually seemed to think I was crazy then. Seemed to
+      figger that the dory wa'n't big enough; and she's carried five easy afore
+      now. We had an argument that lasted twenty minutes more, and the fog
+      driftin' in nigher all the time. At last he got sick of arguin', ripped
+      out somethin' brisk and personal, and got his tin shop to movin'.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You want to cross over to the ocean side,' I called after him. 'The
+      Cut-through's been dredged at the bay end, remember.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Be hanged!' he yells, or more emphatic. And off he whizzed. I see him
+      go, and fetched a long breath. Thanks to a merciful Providence, I'd come
+      so fur without bein' buttered on the undercrust of that automobile or
+      scalped with its crazy shover's bowie knife.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ten minutes later I was beatin' out into the bay in my dory. All around
+      was the fog, thin as poorhouse gruel so fur, but thickenin' every minute.
+      I was worried; not for myself, you understand, but for that cowboy shover.
+      I was afraid he wouldn't fetch t'other side of the Cut-through. There
+      wa'n't much wind, and I had to make long tacks. I took the inshore
+      channel, and kept listenin' all the time. And at last, when 'twas pretty
+      dark and I was cal'latin' to be about abreast of the bay end of the
+      Cut-through, I heard from somewheres ashore a dismal honkin' kind of
+      noise, same as a wild goose might make if 'twas chokin' to death and not
+      resigned to the worst.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'My land!' says I. 'It's happened!' And I come about and headed straight
+      in for the beach. I struck it just alongside the gov'ment shanty. The
+      engineers had knocked off work for the week, waitin' for supplies, but
+      they hadn't took away their dunnage.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hi!' I yells, as I hauled up the dory. 'Hi-i-i! Billings, where be you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The honkin' stopped and back comes the answer; there was joy in it.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What? Is that Cap'n Stitt?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Yes,' I sings out. 'Where be you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I'm stuck out here in the middle of the crick. And there's a flood on.
+      Help me, can't you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Next minute I was aboard the dory, rowin' her against the tide up the
+      channel. Pretty quick I got where I could see him through the fog and
+      dark. The auto was on the flat in the middle of the Cut-through, and the
+      water was hub high already. Billings was standin' up on the for'ard
+      thwart, makin' wet footmarks all over them expensive cushions.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Lord,' says he, 'I sure am glad to see you, pard! Can we get to land, do
+      you think?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Land?' says I, makin' the dory fast alongside and hoppin' out into the
+      drink. ''Course we can land! What's the matter with your old derelict?
+      Sprung a leak, has it?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He went on to explain that the automobile had broke down when he struck
+      the flat, and he couldn't get no farther. He'd been honkin' and howlin'
+      for ten year at least, so he reckoned.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Why in time,' says I, 'didn't you mind me and go up the ocean side? And
+      why in nation didn't you go ashore and&mdash;But never mind that now. Let
+      me think. Here! You set where you be.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;As I shoved off in the dory again he turned loose a distress signal.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Where you goin'?' he yells. 'Say, pard, you ain't goin' to leave me
+      here, are you?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I'll be back in a shake,' says I, layin' to my oars. 'Don't holler so!
+      You'll have the life-savers down here, and then the joke'll be on us.
+      Hush, can't you? I'll be right back!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I rowed up channel a little ways, and then I sighted the place I was
+      bound for. Them gov'ment folks had another shanty farther up the
+      Cut-through. Moored out in front of it was a couple of big floats, for
+      their stone sloops to tie up to at high water. The floats were made of
+      empty kerosene barrels and planks, and they'd have held up a house easy. I
+      run alongside the fust one, cut the anchor cable with my jackknife, and
+      next minute I was navigatin' that float down channel, steerin' it with my
+      oar and towin' the dory astern.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas no slouch of a job, pilotin' that big float, but part by steerin'
+      and part by polin' I managed to land her broadside on to the auto. I made
+      her fast with the cable ends and went back after the other float. This one
+      was a bigger job than the fust, but by and by that gas wagon, with planks
+      under her and cable lashin's holdin' her firm, was restin' easy as a
+      settin' hen between them two floats. I unshipped my mast, fetched it
+      aboard the nighest float, and spread the sail over the biggest part of the
+      brasswork and upholstery.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'There,' says I, 'if it rains durin' the night she'll keep pretty dry.
+      Now I'll take the dory and row back to the shanty after some spare anchors
+      there is there.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But what's it fur, pard?' asks Billings for the nine hundred and
+      ninety-ninth time. 'Why don't we go where it's dry? The flood's risin' all
+      the time.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Let it rise,' I says. 'I cal'late when it gets high enough them
+      floats'll rise with it and lift the automobile up, too. If she's anchored
+      bow and stern she'll hold, unless it comes on to blow a gale, and
+      to-morrow mornin' at low tide maybe you can tinker her up so she'll go.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Go?' says he, like he was astonished. 'Do you mean to say you're
+      reckonin' to save the CAR?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Good land!' I says, starin' at him. 'What else d'you s'pose? Think I'd
+      let seventy-five hundred dollars' wuth of gilt-edged extravagance go to
+      the bottom? What did you cal'late I was tryin' to save&mdash;the clam
+      flat? Give me that dory rope; I'm goin' after them anchors. Sufferin'
+      snakes! Where IS the dory? What have you done with it?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He'd been holdin' the bight of the dory rodin'. I handed it to him so's
+      he'd have somethin' to take up his mind. And, by time, he'd forgot all
+      about it and let it drop! And the dory had gone adrift and was out of
+      sight.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Gosh!' says he, astonished-like. 'Pard, the son of a gun has slipped his
+      halter!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I was pretty mad&mdash;dories don't grow on every beach plum bush&mdash;but
+      there wa'n't nothin' to say that fitted the case, so I didn't try.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Humph!' says I. 'Well, I'll have to swim ashore, that's all, and go up
+      to the station inlet after another boat. You stand by the ship. If she
+      gets afloat afore I come back you honk and holler and I'll row after you.
+      I'll fetch the anchors and we'll moor her wherever she happens to be. If
+      she shouldn't float on an even keel, or goes to capsize, you jump
+      overboard and swim ashore. I'll&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Swim?' says he, with a shake in his voice. 'Why, pard, I can't swim!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I turned and looked at him. Shover of a two-mile-a-minute gold-plated
+      butcher cart like that, a cowboy murderer that et his friends for
+      breakfast&mdash;and couldn't swim! I fetched a kind of combination groan
+      and sigh, turned back the sail, climbed aboard the automobile, and lit up
+      my pipe.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What are you settin' there for?' says he. 'What are you goin' to do?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Do?' says I. 'Wait, that's all&mdash;wait and smoke. We won't have to
+      wait long.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;My prophesyin' was good. We didn't have to wait very long. It was pitch
+      dark, foggy as ever, and the tide a-risin' fast. The floats got to be
+      a-wash. I shinned out onto 'em, picked up the oar that had been left
+      there, and took my seat again. Billings climbed in, too, only&mdash;and it
+      kind of shows the change sence the previous evenin'&mdash;he was in the
+      passenger cockpit astern, and I was for'ard in the pilot house. For a
+      reckless daredevil he was actin' mighty fidgety.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And at last one of the floats swung off the sand. The automobile tipped
+      scandalous. It looked as if we was goin' on our beam ends. Billings let
+      out an awful yell. Then t'other float bobbed up and the whole shebang, car
+      and all, drifted out and down the channel.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;My lashin's held&mdash;I cal'lated they would. Soon's I was sure of that
+      I grabbed up the oar and shoved it over the stern between the floats. I
+      hoped I could round her to after we passed the mouth of the Cut-through,
+      and make port on the inside beach. But not in that tide. Inside of five
+      minutes I see 'twas no use; we was bound across the bay.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And now commenced a v'yage that beat any ever took sence Noah's time, I
+      cal'late; and even Noah never went to sea in an automobile, though the one
+      animal I had along was as much trouble as his whole menagerie. Billings
+      was howlin' blue murder.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Stop that bellerin'!' I ordered. 'Quit it, d'you hear! You'll have the
+      station crew out after us, and they'll guy me till I can't rest. Shut up!
+      If you don't, I'll&mdash;I'll swim ashore and leave you.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I was takin' big chances, as I look at it now. He might have drawed a
+      bowie knife or a lasso on me; 'cordin' to his yarns he'd butchered folks
+      for a good sight less'n that. But he kept quiet this time, only gurglin'
+      some when the ark tilted. I had time to think of another idee. You
+      remember the dory sail, mast and all, was alongside that cart. I clewed up
+      the canvas well as I could and managed to lash the mast up straight over
+      the auto's bows. Then I shook out the sail.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Here!' says I, turnin' to Billings. 'You hang on to that sheet. No, you
+      needn't nuther. Make it fast to that cleat alongside.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I couldn't see his face plain, but his voice had a funny tremble to it;
+      reminded me of my own when I climbed out of that very cart after he'd
+      jounced me down to Setuckit the day before.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What?' he says. 'Wh-what? What sheet? I don't see any sheet. What do you
+      want me to do?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Tie this line to that cleat. That cleat there! CLEAT, you lubber! CLEAT!
+      That knob! MAKE IT FAST! Oh, my gosh t'mighty! Get out of my way!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The critter had tied the sheet to the handle of the door instead of the
+      one I meant, and the pull of the sail hauled the door open and pretty nigh
+      ripped it off the hinges. I had to climb into the cockpit and straighten
+      out the mess. I was losin' my temper; I do hate bunglin' seamanship aboard
+      a craft of mine.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But what'll become of us?' begs Billings. 'Will we drown?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What in tunket do we want to drown for? Ain't we got a good sailin'
+      breeze and the whole bay to stay on top of&mdash;fifty foot of water and
+      more?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Fifty foot!' he yells. 'Is there fifty foot of water underneath us now?
+      Pard, you don't mean it!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Course I mean it. Good thing, too!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'But fifty foot! It's enough to drown in ten times over!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Can't drown but once, can you? And I'd just as soon drown in fifty foot
+      as four&mdash;ruther, 'cause 'twouldn't take so long.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He didn't answer out loud; but I heard him talkin' to himself pretty
+      constant.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We was well out in the bay by now, and the seas was a little mite more
+      rugged&mdash;nothin' to hurt, you understand, but the floats was all foam,
+      and once in a while we'd ship a little spray. And every time that happened
+      Billings would jump and grab for somethin' solid&mdash;sometimes 'twas the
+      upholstery and sometimes 'twas me. He wa'n't on the thwart, but down in a
+      heap on the cockpit floor.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Let go of my leg!' I sings out, after we'd hit a high wave and that
+      shover had made a more'n ordinary savage claw at my underpinnin'. 'You
+      make me nervous. Drat this everlastin' fog! somethin'll bump into us if we
+      don't look out. Here, you go for'ard and light them cruisin' lights. They
+      ain't colored 'cordin' to regulations, but they'll have to do. Go for'ard!
+      What you waitin' for?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, it turned out that he didn't like to leave that cockpit. I was mad.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Go for'ard there and light them lights!' I yelled, hangin' to the
+      steerin' oar and keepin' the ark runnin' afore the wind.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I won't!' he says, loud and emphatic. 'Think I'm a blame fool? I sure
+      would be a jack rabbit to climb over them seats the way they're buckin'
+      and light them lamps. You're talkin' through your hat!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, I hadn't no business to do it, but, you see, I was on salt water,
+      and skipper, as you might say, of the junk we was afloat in; and if
+      there's one thing I never would stand it's mutiny. I hauled in the oar,
+      jumped over the cockpit rail, and went for him. He see me comin', stood
+      up, tried to get out of the way, and fell overboard backwards. Part of him
+      lit on one of the floats, but the biggest part trailed in the water
+      between the two. He clawed with his hands, but the planks was slippery,
+      and he slid astern fast. Just as he reached the last plank and slid off
+      and under I jumped after him and got him by the scruff of the neck. I had
+      hold of the lashin' end with one hand, and we tailed out behind the ark,
+      which was sloppin' along, graceful as an elephant on skates.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I was pretty well beat out when I yanked him into that cockpit again.
+      Neither of us said anything for a spell, breath bein' scurce as di'monds.
+      But when he'd collected some of his, he spoke.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Pard,' he says, puffin', 'I'm much obleeged to you. I reckon I sure
+      ain't treated you right. If it hadn't been for you that time I'd&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But I was b'ilin' over. I whirled on him like a teetotum.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Drat your hide!' I says. 'When you speak to your officer you say sir!
+      And now you go for'ard and light them lights. Don't you answer back! If
+      you do I'll fix you so's you'll never ship aboard another vessel! For'ard
+      there! Lively, you lubber, lively!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He went for'ard, takin' consider'ble time and hangin' on for dear life.
+      But somehow or 'nuther he got the lights to goin'; and all the time I
+      hazed him terrible. I was mate on an Australian packet afore I went
+      fishin' to the Banks, and I can haze some. I blackguarded that shover
+      awful.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Ripperty-rip your everlastin' blankety-blanked dough head!' I roared at
+      him. 'You ain't wuth the weight to sink you. For'ard there and get that
+      fog horn to goin'! And keep it goin'! Lively, you sculpin! Don't you open
+      your mouth to me!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, all night we sloshed along, straight acrost the bay. We must have
+      been a curious sight to look at. The floats was awash, so that the
+      automobile looked like she was ridin' the waves all by her lonesome; the
+      lamps was blazin' at either side of the bow; Billings was a-tootin' the
+      rubber fog horn as if he was wound up; and I was standin' on the cushions
+      amidships, keepin' the whole calabash afore the wind.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;We never met another craft the whole night through. Yes, we did meet one.
+      Old Ezra Cahoon, of Harniss, was out in his dory stealin' quahaugs from
+      Seth Andrews's bed over nigh the Wapatomac shore. Ezra stayed long enough
+      to get one good glimpse of us as we bust through the fog; then he cut his
+      rodin' and laid to his oars, bound for home and mother. We could hear him
+      screech for half an hour after he left us.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ez told next day that the devil had come ridin' acrost the bay after him
+      in a chariot of fire. Said he could smell the brimstone and hear the
+      trumpet callin' him to judgment. Likewise he hove in a lot of particulars
+      concernin' the personal appearance of the Old Boy himself, who, he said,
+      was standin' up wavin' a red-hot pitchfork. Some folks might have been
+      flattered at bein' took for such a famous character; but I wa'n't; I'm
+      retirin' by nature, and besides, Ez's description wa'n't cal'lated to bust
+      a body's vanity b'iler. I was prouder of the consequences, the same bein'
+      that Ezra signed the Good Templars' pledge that afternoon, and kept it for
+      three whole months, just sixty-nine days longer than any previous attack
+      within the memory of man had lasted.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And finally, just as mornin' was breakin', the bows of the floats slid
+      easy and slick up on a hard, sandy beach. Then the sun riz and the fog
+      lifted, and there we was within sight of the South Ostable meetin'-house.
+      We'd sailed eighteen miles in that ark and made a better landin' blindfold
+      than we ever could have made on purpose.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I hauled down the sail, unshipped the mast, and jumped ashore to find a
+      rock big enough to use for a makeshift anchor. It wa'n't more'n three
+      minutes after we fust struck afore my boots hit dry ground, but Billings
+      beat me one hundred and seventy seconds, at that. When I had time to look
+      at that shover man he was a cable's length from high-tide mark, settin'
+      down and grippin' a bunch of beach grass as if he was afeard the sand was
+      goin' to slide from under him; and you never seen a yallerer, more upset
+      critter in your born days.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, I got the ark anchored, after a fashion, and then we walked up to
+      the South Ostable tavern. Peleg Small, who runs the place, he knows me, so
+      he let me have a room and I turned in for a nap. I slept about three
+      hours. When I woke up I started out to hunt the automobile and Billings.
+      Both of 'em looked consider'ble better than they had when I see 'em last.
+      The shover had got a gang of men and they'd got the gas cart ashore, and
+      Billings and a blacksmith was workin' over&mdash;or rather under&mdash;the
+      clockwork.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hello!' I hails, comin' alongside.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Billings sticks his head out from under the tinware.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Hi, pard!' says he. I noticed he hadn't called me 'Grace' nor 'Dewey'
+      for a long spell. Hi, pard,' he says, gettin' to his feet, 'the old gal
+      ain't hurt a hair. She'll be good as ever in a couple of hours. Then you
+      and me can start for Orham.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'In HER?' says I.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Sure,' he says.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Not by a jugful!' says I, emphatic. 'I'll borrer a boat to get to Orham
+      in, when I'm ready to go. You won't ketch me in that man killer again; and
+      you can call me a coward all you want to!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'A coward?' says he. 'You a coward? And&mdash;Why, you was in that car
+      all night!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh!' I says. 'Last night was diff'rent. The thing was on water then, and
+      when I've got enough water underneath me I know I'm safe.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Safe!' he sings out. 'SAFE! Well, by&mdash;gosh! Pard, I hate to say it,
+      but it's the Lord's truth&mdash;you had me doin' my &ldquo;Now I lay me's&rdquo;!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;For a minute we looked at each other. Then says I, sort of thinkin' out
+      loud, 'I cal'late,' I says, 'that whether a man's brave or not depends
+      consider'ble on whether he's used to his latitude. It's all accordin'. It
+      lays in the bringin' up, as the duck said when the hen tried to swim.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He nodded solemn. 'Pard,' says he, 'I sure reckon you've called the turn.
+      Let's shake hands on it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So we shook; and . . .&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Bailey stopped short and sprang from his chair. &ldquo;There's my train
+      comin',&rdquo; he shouted. &ldquo;Good-by, Sol! So long, Barzilla! Keep away from
+      fortune tellers and pretty servant girls or YOU'LL be gettin' married
+      pretty soon. Good-by.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He darted out of the waiting room and his companions followed. Mr.
+      Wingate, having a few final calls to make, left the station soon
+      afterwards and did not return until evening. And that evening he heard
+      news which surprised him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      As he and Captain Sol were exchanging a last handshake on the platform,
+      Barzilla said:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, Sol, I've enjoyed loafin' around here and yarnin' with you, same as
+      I always do. I'll be over again in a month or so and we'll have some
+      more.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The Captain shook his head. &ldquo;I may not be here then, Barzilla,&rdquo; he
+      observed.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;May not be here? What do you mean by that?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I mean that I don't know exactly where I shall be. I shan't be depot
+      master, anyway.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Shan't be depot master? YOU won't? Why, what on airth&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I sent in my resignation four days ago. Nobody knows it, except you, not
+      even Issy, but the new depot master for East Harniss will be here to take
+      my place on the mornin' of the twelfth, that's two days off.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Why! Why! SOL!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes. Keep mum about it. I'll&mdash;I'll let you know what I decide to do.
+      I ain't settled it myself yet. Good-by, Barzilla.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0017" id="link2HCH0017">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER XVII
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      ISSY'S REVENGE
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      The following morning, at nine o'clock, Issy McKay sat upon the heap of
+      rusty chain cable outside the blacksmith's shop at Denboro, reading, as
+      usual, a love story. Issy was taking a &ldquo;day off.&rdquo; He had begged permission
+      of Captain Sol Berry, the permission had been granted, and Issy had come
+      over to Denboro, the village eight miles above East Harniss, in his &ldquo;power
+      dory,&rdquo; or gasoline boat, the Lady May. The Lady May was a relic of the
+      time before Issy was assistant depot master, when he gained a precarious
+      living by quahauging, separating the reluctant bivalve from its muddy
+      house on the bay bottom with an iron rake, the handle of which was forty
+      feet long. Issy had been seized with a desire to try quahauging once more,
+      hence his holiday. The rake was broken and he had put in at Denboro to
+      have it fixed. While the blacksmith was busy, Issy laboriously spelled out
+      the harrowing chapters of &ldquo;Vivian, the Shop Girl; or Lord Lyndhurst's
+      Lowly Love.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      A grinning, freckled face peered cautiously around the corner of the
+      blacksmith's front fence. Then an overripe potato whizzed through the air
+      and burst against the shop wall a few inches from the reader's head. Issy
+      jumped.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You&mdash;you everlastin' young ones, you!&rdquo; he shouted fiercely. &ldquo;If I
+      git my hands onto you, you'll wish you'd&mdash;I see you hidin' behind
+      that fence.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Two barefooted little figures danced provokingly in the roadway and two
+      shrill voices chanted in derision:
+    </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+     &ldquo;Is McKay&mdash;Is McKay&mdash;
+     Makes the Injuns run away!
+</pre>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Scalped anybody lately, Issy?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Alas for the indiscretions of youth! The tale of Issy's early expedition
+      in search of scalps and glory was known from one end of Ostable County to
+      the other. It had made him famous, in a way.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;If I git a-holt of you kids, I'll bet there'll be some scalpin' done,&rdquo;
+       retorted the persecuted one, rising from the heap of cable.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      A second potato burst like a bombshell on the shingles behind him. McKay
+      was a good general, in that he knew when it was wisest to retreat. Shoving
+      the paper novel into his overalls pocket, he entered the shop.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What's the matter, Is?&rdquo; inquired the grinning blacksmith. Most people
+      grinned when they spoke to Issy. &ldquo;Gittin' too hot outside there, was it?
+      Why don't you tomahawk 'em and have 'em for supper?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Humph!&rdquo; grunted the offended quahauger. &ldquo;Don't git gay now, Jake Larkin.
+      You hurry up with that rake.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Oh, all right, Is. Don't sculp ME; I ain't done nothin'. What's the news
+      over to East Harniss?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Oh, I don't know. Not much. Sam Bartlett, he started for Boston this
+      mornin'.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Who? Sam Bartlett? I want to know! Thought he was down for six weeks. You
+      sure about that, Is?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Course I'm sure. I was up to the depot and see him buy his ticket and git
+      on the cars.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Did, hey? Humph! So Sam's gone. Gertie Higgins still over to her Aunt
+      Hannah's at Trumet?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy looked at his questioner. &ldquo;Why, yes,&rdquo; he said suspiciously. &ldquo;I s'pose
+      she's there. Fact, I know she is. Pat Starkey's doin' the telegraphin'
+      while she's away. What made you ask that?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The blacksmith chuckled. &ldquo;Oh, nothin',&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;How's her dad's
+      dyspepsy? Had any more of them sudden attacks of his? I cal'late they'll
+      take the old man off some of these days, won't they? I hear the doctor
+      thinks there's more heart than stomach in them attacks.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      But the skipper of the Lady May was not to be put off thus. &ldquo;What you
+      drivin' at, Jake?&rdquo; he demanded. &ldquo;What's Sam Bartlett's goin' away got to
+      do with Gertie Higgins?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      In his eagerness he stepped to Mr. Larkin's side. The blacksmith caught
+      sight of the novel in his customer's pocket. He snatched it forth.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What you readin' now, Is?&rdquo; he demanded. &ldquo;More blood and brimstone? 'Vivy
+      Ann, the Shop Girl!' Gee! Wow!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You gimme that book, Jake Larkin! Gimme it now!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Fending the frantic quahauger off with one mighty arm, the blacksmith
+      proceeded to read aloud:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Darlin',' cried Lord Lyndhurst, strainin' the beautiful and blushin'
+      maid to his manly bosom, 'you are mine at last. Mine! No&mdash;' Jerushy!
+      a love story! Why, Issy! I didn't know you was in love. Who's the lucky
+      girl? Send me an invite to your weddin', won't you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy's face was a fiery red. He tore the precious volume from its
+      desecrator's hand, losing the pictured cover in the struggle.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You&mdash;you pesky fool!&rdquo; he shouted. &ldquo;You mind your own business.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The blacksmith roared in glee. &ldquo;Oh, ho!&rdquo; he cried. &ldquo;Issy's in love and I
+      never guessed it. Aw, say, Is, don't be mean! Who is she? Have you
+      strained her to your manly bosom yit? What's her name?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Shut up!&rdquo; shrieked Issy, and strode out of the shop. His tormentor begged
+      him not to &ldquo;go off mad,&rdquo; and shouted sarcastic sympathy after him. But Mr.
+      McKay heeded not. He stalked angrily along the sidewalk. Then espying just
+      ahead of him the boys who had thrown the potatoes, he paused, turned, and
+      walking down the carriageway at the side of the blacksmith's place of
+      business, sat down upon a sawhorse under one of its rear windows. He
+      could, at least, be alone here and think; and he wanted to think.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      For Issy&mdash;although he didn't look it&mdash;was deeply interested in
+      another love story as well as that in his pocket. This one was printed
+      upon his heart's pages, and in it he was the hero, while the heroine&mdash;the
+      unsuspecting heroine&mdash;was Gertie Higgins, daughter of Beriah Higgins,
+      once a fisherman, now the crotchety and dyspeptic proprietor of the
+      &ldquo;general store&rdquo; and postmaster at East Harniss.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      This story began when Issy first acquired the Lady May. The Higgins home
+      stood on the slope close to the boat landing, and when Issy came in from
+      quahauging, Gertie was likely to be in the back yard, hanging out the
+      clothes or watering the flower garden. Sometimes she spoke to him of her
+      own accord, concerning the weather or other important topics. Once she
+      even asked him if he were going to the Fourth of July ball at the
+      town-hall. It took him until the next morning&mdash;like other warriors,
+      Issy was cursed with shyness&mdash;to summon courage enough to ask her to
+      go to the ball with him. Then he found it was too late; she was going with
+      her cousin, Lennie Bloomer. But he felt that she had offered him the
+      opportunity, and was happy and hopeful accordingly.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      This, however, was before she went to Boston to study telegraphy. When she
+      returned, with a picture hat and a Boston accent, it was to preside at the
+      telegraph instrument in the little room adjoining the post office at her
+      father's store. When Issy bowed blushingly outside the window of the
+      telegraph room, he received only the airiest of frigid nods. Was there
+      what Lord Lyndhurst would have called &ldquo;another&rdquo;? It would seem not. Old
+      Mr. Higgins, her father, encouraged no bows nor attentions from young men,
+      and Gertie herself did not appear to desire them. So Issy gave up his
+      tales of savage butchery for those of love and blisses, adored in silence,
+      and hoped&mdash;always hoped.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      But why had the blacksmith seemed surprised at the departure of Sam
+      Bartlett, the &ldquo;dudey&rdquo; vacationist from the city, whose father had, years
+      ago, been Beriah Higgins's partner in the fish business? And why had he
+      coupled the Bartlett name with that of Gertie, who had been visiting her
+      father's maiden sister at Trumet, the village next below East Harniss, as
+      Denboro is the next above it? Issy's suspicions were aroused, and he
+      wondered.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Suddenly he heard voices in the shop above him. The window was open and he
+      heard them plainly.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well! WELL!&rdquo; It was the blacksmith who uttered the exclamation. &ldquo;Why,
+      Bartlett, how be you? What you doin' over here? Thought you'd gone back to
+      Boston. I heard you had.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Slowly, cautiously, the astonished quahauger rose from the sawhorse and
+      peered over the window sill. There were two visitors in the shop. One was
+      Ed Burns, proprietor of the Denboro Hotel and livery stable. The other was
+      Sam Bartlett, the very same who had left East Harniss that morning, bound,
+      ostensibly, for Boston. Issy sank back again and listened.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, yes!&rdquo; he heard Sam say impatiently; &ldquo;I know, but&mdash;see here,
+      Jake, where can I hire a horse in this God-forsaken town?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, well, Sam!&rdquo; continued Larkin. &ldquo;I was just figurin' that Beriah had
+      got the best of you after all, and you'd had to give it up for this time.
+      Thinks I, it's too bad! Just because your dad and Beriah Higgins had such
+      a deuce of a row when they bust up in the fish trade, it's a shame that he
+      won't hark to your keepin' comp'ny with Gertie. And you doin' so well;
+      makin' twenty dollars a week up to the city&mdash;Ed told me that&mdash;and&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, yes! But never mind that. Where can I get a horse? I've got to be in
+      Trumet by eight to-night sure.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Trumet? Why, that's where Gertie is, ain't it?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Look a-here, Jake,&rdquo; broke in the livery-stable keeper. &ldquo;I'll tell you how
+      'tis. Oh, it's all right, Sam! Jake knows the most of it; I told him. He
+      can keep his mouth shut, and he don't like old crank Higgins any better'n
+      you and me do. Jake, Sam here and Gertie had fixed it up to run off and
+      git married to-night. He was to pretend to start for Boston this mornin'.
+      Bought a ticket and all, so's to throw Beriah off the scent. He was to get
+      off the train here at Denboro and I was to let him have a horse 'n' buggy.
+      Then, this afternoon, he was goin' to drive through the wood roads around
+      to Trumet and be at the Baptist Church there at eight to-night sharp.
+      Gertie's Aunt Hannah, she's had her orders, and bein' as big a crank as
+      her brother, she don't let the girl out of her sight. But there's a fair
+      at the church and Auntie's tendin' a table. Gertie, she steps out to the
+      cloak room to git a handkerchief which she's forgot; see? And she hops
+      into Sam's buggy and away they go to the minister's. After they're once
+      hitched Old Dyspepsy can go to pot and see the kittle bile.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Bully! By gum, that's fine! Won't Beriah rip some, hey?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, but there's the dickens to pay. I've only got two horses in the
+      stable to-day. The rest are let. And the two I've got&mdash;one's old
+      Bill, and he couldn't go twenty mile to save his hide. And t'other's the
+      gray mare, and blamed if she didn't git cast last night and use up her off
+      hind leg so's she can't step. And Sam's GOT to have a horse. Where can I
+      git one?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hum! Have you tried Haynes's?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, yes! And Lathrop's and Eldredge's. Can't git a team for love nor
+      money.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sho! And he can't go by train?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What? With Beriah postmaster at East Harniss and always nosin' through
+      every train that stops there? You can't fetch Trumet by train without
+      stoppin' at East Harniss and&mdash;What was that?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I don't know. What was it?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sounded like somethin' outside that back winder.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The two ran to the window and looked out. All they saw was an overturned
+      sawhorse and two or three hens scratching vigorously.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Guess 'twas the chickens, most likely,&rdquo; observed the blacksmith. Then,
+      striking his blackened palms together, he exclaimed:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;By time! I've thought of somethin'! Is McKay is in town to-day. Come over
+      in the Lady May. She's a gasoline boat. Is would take Sam to Trumet for
+      two or three dollars, I'll bet. And he's such a fool head that he wouldn't
+      ask questions nor suspicion nothin'. 'Twould be faster'n a horse and
+      enough sight less risky.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      And just then the &ldquo;fool head,&rdquo; his brain whirling under its carroty
+      thatch, was hurrying blindly up the main street, bound somewhere, he
+      wasn't certain where.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      A mushy apple exploded between his shoulders, but he did not even turn
+      around. So THIS was what the blacksmith meant! This was why Mr. Higgins
+      watched his daughter so closely. This was why Gertie had been sent off to
+      Trumet. She had met the Bartlett miscreant in Boston; they had been
+      together there; had fallen in love and&mdash;He gritted his teeth and
+      shook his fists almost in the face of old Deacon Pratt, who, knowing the
+      McKay penchant for slaughter, had serious thoughts of sending for the
+      constable.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Beriah Higgins must be warned, of course, but how? To telegraph was to put
+      Pat Starkey in possession of the secret, and Pat was too good a friend of
+      Gertie's to be trusted. There was no telephone at the store. Issy entered
+      the combination grocery store and post office.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Has the down mail closed yet?&rdquo; he panted.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The postmaster looked out of his little window.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; he replied. &ldquo;Why? Got a letter you want to go? Take it up to the
+      depot. The train's due, but 'tain't here yit. If you run you can make it.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy took a card from his pocket. It was the business card of the firm to
+      whom he sold his quahaugs. On the back of the card he wrote in pencil as
+      follows:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Mr. Beriah Higgins, your daughter Gertrude is going to meet Sam'l
+      Bartlett at the Baptist Church in Trumet at 8 P.M. to-night and get
+      married to him. LOOK OUT!!!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      After an instant's consideration he signed it &ldquo;A True Friend,&rdquo; this being
+      in emulation of certain heroes of the Deadwood Dick variety. Then he put
+      the card into an envelope and ran at top speed to the railway station. The
+      train came in as he reached the platform. The baggage master was standing
+      in the door of his car.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Here, mister!&rdquo; panted Issy. &ldquo;Jest hand this letter to Beriah Higgins when
+      he takes the mail bag at East Harniss, won't you? It's mighty important.
+      Don't forgit. Thanks.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The train moved off. Issy stared after it, grinning malevolently. Higgins
+      would get that note in ample time to send word to the watchful Aunt
+      Hannah. When the unsuspecting eloper reached the Trumet church, it would
+      be the aunt, not the niece, who awaited him. Still grinning, Mr. McKay
+      walked off the platform, and into the arms of Ed Burns, the stable keeper,
+      and Sam Bartlett, his loathed and favored rival.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Here he is!&rdquo; shouted Burns. &ldquo;Now we've got him.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The foiler of the plot turned pale. Was his secret discovered? But no; his
+      captors began talking eagerly, and gradually the sense of their pleadings
+      became plain. They wanted him&mdash;HIM, of all people&mdash;to convey
+      Bartlett to Trumet in the Lady May.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You see, it's a business meetin',&rdquo; urged Burns. &ldquo;Sam's got to be there by
+      ha'f past seven or he'll&mdash;he won't win on the deal, will you, Sam?
+      Say yes, Issy; that's a good feller. He'll give you&mdash;I don't know's
+      he won't give you five dollars.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ten,&rdquo; cried Bartlett. &ldquo;And I'll never forget it, either. Will you, Is?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      A mighty &ldquo;No!&rdquo; was trembling on Issy's tongue. But before it was uttered
+      Burns spoke again.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;McKay's got the best boat in these parts,&rdquo; he urged. &ldquo;She's got a tiptop
+      engine in her, and&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The word &ldquo;engine&rdquo; dropped into the whirlpool of Issy's thoughts with a
+      familiar sound. In the chapter of &ldquo;Vivian&rdquo; that he had just finished, the
+      beautiful shopgirl was imprisoned on board the yacht of the millionaire
+      kidnaper, while the hero, in his own yacht, was miles astern. But the
+      hero's faithful friend, disguised as a stoker, was tampering with the
+      villain's engine. A vague idea began to form in Issy's brain. Once get the
+      would-be eloper aboard the Lady May, and, even though the warning note
+      should remain undelivered, he&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy smiled, and the ghastliness of that smile was unnoticed by his
+      companions.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I&mdash;I'll do it,&rdquo; he cried. &ldquo;By mighty! I WILL do it. You be at the
+      wharf here at four o'clock. I wouldn't do it for everybody, Sam Bartlett,
+      but for you I'd do consider'ble, just now. And I don't want your ten
+      dollars nuther.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Doctoring an engine may be easy enough&mdash;in stories. But to doctor a
+      gasoline engine so that it will run for a certain length of time and THEN
+      break down is not so easy. Three o'clock came and the problem was still
+      unsolved. Issy, the perspiration running down his face, stood up in the
+      Lady May's cockpit and looked out across the bay, smooth and glassy in the
+      afternoon sun.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The sky overhead was clear and blue, but along the eastern and southern
+      horizon was a gray bank of cloud, heaped in tumbled masses.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      A sunburned lobsterman in rubber boots and a sou'wester was smoking on the
+      wharf.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What time you goin' to start for home, Is?&rdquo; he asked.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Oh, in an hour or so,&rdquo; was the absent-minded reply.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Humph! You'd better cast off afore that or you'll be fog bound. It'll be
+      thicker'n dock mud toward sundown, and you'll fetch up in Waptomac 'stead
+      of East Harniss, 'thout you've got a good compass.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Oh, my compass is all right,&rdquo; began Issy, and stopped short. The
+      lobsterman made other attempts at conversation, but they were
+      unproductive. McKay was gazing at the growing fog bank and thinking hard.
+      To doctor an engine may be difficult, but to get lost in a fog&mdash;He
+      took the compass from the glass-lidded binnacle by the wheel, and carrying
+      it into the little cabin, placed it in the cuddy forward.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      It was nearer five than four when the Lady May, her engine barking
+      aggressively, moved out of Denboro Harbor. Mr. Bartlett, the passenger,
+      had been on time and had fumed and fretted at the delay. But Issy was
+      deliberation itself. He had forgotten his quahaug rake, and the lapse of
+      memory entailed a trip to the blacksmith's. Then the gasoline tank needed
+      filling and the battery had to be overhauled.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Are you sure you can make it?&rdquo; queried Sam anxiously. &ldquo;It's important, I
+      tell you. Mighty important.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The skipper snorted in disgust. &ldquo;Make it?&rdquo; he repeated. &ldquo;If the Lady May
+      can't make fourteen mile in two hours&mdash;let alone two'n a ha'f&mdash;then
+      I don't know her. She's one of them boats you read about, she is.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The Cape makes a wide bend between Denboro and Trumet. The distance
+      between these towns is twenty long, curved miles over the road; by water
+      it is reduced to a straight fourteen. And midway between the two, at the
+      center of the curve, is East Harniss.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Lady May coughed briskly on. There was no sea, and she sent long,
+      widening ripples from each side of her bow. Bartlett, leaning over the
+      rail, gazed impatiently ahead. Issy, sprawled on the bench by the wheel,
+      was muttering to himself. Occasionally he glanced toward the east. The
+      gray fog bank was now half way to the zenith and approaching rapidly. The
+      eastern shore had disappeared.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Is! Hi, Is! What are you doing? Don't kill him before my eyes.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy came out of his trance with a start.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What&mdash;what's that?&rdquo; he asked. His passenger was grinning broadly.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What? Kill who?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Why, the big chief, or whoever you had under your knee just then. You've
+      been rolling your eyes and punching air with your fist for the last five
+      minutes. I was getting scared. You're an unmerciful sinner when you get
+      started, ain't you, Is? Who was the victim that time? 'Man Afraid of Hot
+      Water'? or who?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The skipper scowled. He shoved the fist into his pocket.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Naw,&rdquo; he growled. &ldquo;'Twa'n't.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;So? Not an Indian? Then it must have been a white man. Some fellow after
+      your girl, perhaps. Hey?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The disconcerted Issy was speechless. His companion's chance shot had
+      scored a bull's-eye. Sam whooped.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That's it!&rdquo; he crowed. &ldquo;Sure thing! Give it to him, Is! Don't spare him.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. McKay chokingly admitted that he &ldquo;wa'n't goin' to.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ho, ho! That's the stuff! But who's SHE, Is? When are you going to marry
+      her?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy grunted spitefully. &ldquo;You ain't married yourself&mdash;not yit,&rdquo; he
+      observed, with concealed sarcasm.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The unsuspecting Bartlett laughed in triumph. &ldquo;No,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;I'm not,
+      that's a fact; but maybe I'm going to be some of these days. It looked
+      pretty dubious for a while, but now it's all right.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Tis, hey? You're sure about that, be you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Guess I am. Great Scott! what's that? Fog?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      A damp breath blew across the boat. The clouds covered the sky overhead
+      and the bay to port. The fog was pouring like smoke across the water.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Fog, by thunder!&rdquo; exclaimed Bartlett.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy smiled. &ldquo;Hum! Yes, 'tis fog, ain't it?&rdquo; he observed.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But what'll we do? It'll be here in a minute, won't it?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Shouldn't be a mite surprised. Looks 's if twas here now.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The fog came on. It reached the Lady May, passed over her, and shut her
+      within gray, wet walls. It was impossible to see a length from her side.
+      Sam swore emphatically. The skipper was provokingly calm. He stepped to
+      the engine, bent over it, and then returned to the wheel.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What are you doing?&rdquo; demanded Bartlett.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Slowin' down, of course. Can't run more'n ha'f speed in a fog like this.
+      'Tain't safe.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Safe! What do I care? I want to get to Trumet.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes? Well, maybe we'll git there if we have luck.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You idiot! We've GOT to get there. How can you tell which way to steer?
+      Get your compass, man! get your compass!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ain't got no compass,&rdquo; was the sulky answer. &ldquo;Left it to home.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Why, no, you didn't. I&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I tell you I did. 'Twas careless of me, I know, but&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But I say you didn't. When you went uptown after that quahaug rake I
+      explored this craft of yours some. The compass is in that little closet at
+      the end of the cabin. I'll get it.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He rose to his feet. Issy sprang forward and seized him by the arm.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Set down!&rdquo; he yelled. &ldquo;Who's runnin' this boat, you or me?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The astounded passenger stared at his companion.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Why, you are,&rdquo; he replied. &ldquo;But that's no reason&mdash;What's the matter
+      with you, anyway? Have your dime novels driven you loony?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy hesitated. For a moment chagrin and rage at this sudden upset of his
+      schemes had gotten the better of his prudence. But Bartlett was taller
+      than he and broad in proportion. And valor&mdash;except of the imaginative
+      brand&mdash;was not Issy's strong point.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;There, there, Sam!&rdquo; he explained, smiling crookedly. &ldquo;You mustn't mind
+      me. I'm sort of nervous, I guess. And you mustn't hop up and down in a
+      boat that way. You set still and I'll fetch the compass.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He stumbled across the cockpit and disappeared in the dusk of the cabin.
+      Finding that compass took a long time. Sam lost patience.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What's the matter?&rdquo; he demanded. &ldquo;Can't you find it? Shall I come?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No, no!&rdquo; screamed Issy vehemently. &ldquo;Stay where you be. Catch a-holt of
+      that wheel. We'll be spinnin' circles if you don't. I'm a-comin'.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      But it was another five minutes before he emerged from the cabin, carrying
+      the compass box very carefully with both hands. He placed it in the
+      binnacle and closed the glass lid.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas catched in a bluefish line,&rdquo; he explained. &ldquo;All snarled up, 'twas.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Sam peered through the glass at the compass.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Thunder!&rdquo; he exclaimed. &ldquo;I should say we had spun around. Instead of
+      north being off here where I thought it was, it's 'way out to the right.
+      Queer how fog'll mix a fellow up. Trumet's about northeast, isn't it?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No'theast by no'th's the course. Keep her just there.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The Lady May, still at half speed, kept on through the mist. Time passed.
+      The twilight, made darker still by the fog, deepened. They lit the lantern
+      in order to see the compass card. Issy had the wheel now. Sam was forward,
+      keeping a lookout and fretting at the delay.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;It's seven o'clock already,&rdquo; he cried. &ldquo;For Heaven's sake, how late will
+      you be? I've got to be there by quarter of eight. D'you hear? I've GOT
+      to.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, we're gittin' there. Can't expect to travel so fast with part of
+      the power off. You'll be where you're goin' full as soon as you want to
+      be, I cal'late.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      And he chuckled.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Another half hour and, through the wet dimness, a light flashed, vanished,
+      and flashed again. Issy saw it and smiled grimly. Bartlett saw it and
+      shouted.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'What's that light?&rdquo; he cried. &ldquo;Did you see it? There it is, off there.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I see it. There's a light at Trumet Neck, ain't there?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Humph! It's been years since I was there, but I thought Trumet light was
+      steady. However&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Ain't that the wharf ahead?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Sure enough, out of the dark loomed the bulk of a small wharf, with
+      catboats at anchor near it. Higher up, somewhere on the shore, were the
+      lighted windows of a building.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;By thunder, we're here!&rdquo; exclaimed Sam, and drew a long breath.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy shut off the power altogether, and the Lady May slid easily up to the
+      wharf. Feverishly her skipper made her fast.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, sir!&rdquo; he cried exultantly. &ldquo;We're here. And no Black Rover nor
+      anybody else ever done a better piece of steerin' than that, nuther.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He clambered over the stringpiece, right at the heels of his impatient but
+      grateful passenger. Sam's thanks were profuse and sincere.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I'll never forget it, Is,&rdquo; he declared. &ldquo;I'll never forget it. And you'll
+      have to let me pay you the&mdash;What makes you shake so?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy pulled his arm away and stepped back.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I'll never forget it, Is,&rdquo; continued Sam. &ldquo;I&mdash;Why! What&mdash;?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He was standing at the shore end of the wharf, gazing up at the lighted
+      windows. They were those of a dwelling house&mdash;an old-fashioned house
+      with a back yard sloping down to the landing.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And then Issy McKay leaned forward and spoke in his ear.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You bet you won't forgit it, Sam Bartlett!&rdquo; he crowed, in trembling but
+      delicious triumph. &ldquo;You bet you won't! I've fixed you just the same as the
+      Black Rover fixed the mutineers. Run off with my girl, will ye? And marry
+      her, will ye? I&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Sam interrupted him. &ldquo;Why! WHY!&rdquo; he cried. &ldquo;That's&mdash;that's Gertie's
+      house! This isn't Trumet! IT'S EAST HARNISS!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      The next moment he was seized from behind. The skipper's arms were around
+      his waist and the skipper's thin legs twisted about his own. They fell
+      together upon the sand and, as they rolled and struggled, Issy's yells
+      rose loud and high.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Mr. Higgins!&rdquo; he shrieked. &ldquo;Mr. Higgins! Come on! I've got him! I've got
+      the feller that's tryin' to steal your daughter! Come on! I've got him!
+      I'm hangin' to him!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      A door banged open. Some one rushed down the walk. And then a girl's voice
+      cried in alarm:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What is it? Who is it? What IS the matter?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      And from the bundle of legs and arms on the ground two voices exclaimed:
+      &ldquo;GERTIE!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But where IS your father?&rdquo; asked Sam. Issy asked nothing. He merely sat
+      still and listened.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Why, he's at Trumet. At least I suppose he is. Mrs. Jones&mdash;she's
+      gone to telephone to him now&mdash;says that he came home this morning
+      with one of those dreadful 'attacks' of his. And after dinner he seemed so
+      sick that, when she went for the doctor, she wired me at Auntie's to come
+      home. I didn't want to come&mdash;you know why&mdash;but I COULDN'T let
+      him die alone. And so I caught the three o'clock train and came. I knew
+      you'd forgive me. But it seems that when Mrs. Jones came back with the
+      doctor they found father up and dressed and storming like a crazy man. He
+      had received some sort of a letter; he wouldn't say what. And, in spite of
+      all they could do, he insisted on going out. And Cap'n Berry&mdash;the
+      depot master&mdash;says he went to Trumet on the afternoon freight. We
+      must have passed each other on the way. And I'm so&mdash;But why are you
+      HERE? And what were you and Issy doing? And&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Her lover broke in eagerly. &ldquo;Then you're alone now?&rdquo; he asked.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes, but&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Good! Your father can't get a train back from Trumet before to-morrow
+      morning. I don't know what this letter was&mdash;but never mind. Perhaps
+      friend McKay knows more about it. It may be that Mr. Higgins is waiting
+      now outside the Baptist church. Gertie, now's our chance. You come with me
+      right up to the minister's. He's a friend of mine. He understands. He'll
+      marry us, I know. Come! We mustn't lose a minute. Your dad may take a
+      notion to drive back.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He led her off up the lane, she protesting, he urging. At the corner of
+      the house he turned.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I say, Is!&rdquo; he called. &ldquo;Don't you want to come to the wedding? Seems to
+      me we owe you that, considering all you've done to help it along. Or
+      perhaps you want to stay and fix that compass of yours.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Issy didn't answer. Some time after they had gone he arose from the ground
+      and stumbled home. That night he put a paper novel into the stove. Next
+      morning, before going to the depot, he removed an iron spike from the Lady
+      May's compass box. The needle swung back to its proper position.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2HCH0018" id="link2HCH0018">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      CHAPTER XVIII
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      THE MOUNTAIN AND MAHOMET
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      The eleventh of July. The little Berry house stood high on its joists and
+      rollers, in the middle of the Hill Boulevard, directly opposite the
+      Edwards lot. Close behind it loomed the big &ldquo;Colonial.&rdquo; Another
+      twenty-four hours, and, even at its one-horse gait, the depot master's
+      dwelling would be beyond the strip of Edwards fence. The &ldquo;Colonial&rdquo; would
+      be ready to move on the lot, and Olive Edwards, the widow, would be
+      obliged to leave her home. In fact, Mr. Williams had notified her that she
+      and her few belongings must be off the premises by the afternoon of the
+      twelfth.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The great Williams was in high good-humor. He chuckled as he talked with
+      his foreman, and the foreman chuckled in return. Simeon Phinney did not
+      chuckle. He was anxious and worried, and even the news of Gertie Higgins's
+      runaway marriage, brought to him by Obed Gott, who&mdash;having been so
+      recently the victim of another unexpected matrimonial alliance&mdash;was
+      wickedly happy over the postmaster's discomfiture, did not interest him
+      greatly.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, I wonder who'll be the next couple,&rdquo; speculated Obed. &ldquo;First Polena
+      and old Hardee, then Gertie Higgins and Sam Bartlett! I declare, Sim,
+      gettin' married unbeknownst to anybody must be catchin', like the measles.
+      Nobody's safe unless they've got a wife or husband livin'. Me and Sol
+      Berry are old baches&mdash;we'd better get vaccinated or WE may come down
+      with the disease. Ho! ho!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      After dinner Mr. Phinney went from his home to the depot. Captain Sol was
+      sitting in the ticket office, with the door shut. On the platform,
+      forlornly sprawled upon the baggage truck, was Issy McKay, the picture of
+      desolation. He started nervously when he heard Simeon's step. As yet
+      Issy's part in the Bartlett-Higgins episode was unknown to the
+      townspeople. Sam and Gertie had considerately kept silence. Beriah had not
+      learned who sent him the warning note, the unlucky missive which had
+      brought his troubles to a climax. But he was bound to learn it, he would
+      find out soon, and then&mdash;No wonder Issy groaned.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Come in here, Sim,&rdquo; said the depot master. Phinney entered the ticket
+      office.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Shut the door,&rdquo; commanded the Captain. The order was obeyed. &ldquo;Well, what
+      is it?&rdquo; asked Berry.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Why, I just run in to see you a minute, Sol, that's all. What are you
+      shut up in here all alone for?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Cause I want to be alone. There's been more than a thousand folks in
+      this depot so far to-day, seems so, and they all wanted to talk. I don't
+      feel like talkin'.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Heard about Gertie Higgins and&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Who told you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Hiram Baker told me first. He's a fine feller and he's so tickled, now
+      that his youngster's 'most well, that he cruises around spoutin' talk and
+      joy same as a steamer's stack spouts cinders. He told me. Then Obed Gott
+      and Cornelius Rowe and Redny Blount and Pat Starkey, and land knows how
+      many more, came to tell me. I cut 'em short. Why, even the Major himself
+      condescended to march in, grand and imposin' as a procession, to make
+      proclamations about love laughin' at locksmiths, and so on. Since he got
+      Polena and her bank account he's a bigger man than the President, in his
+      own estimate.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Humph! Well, he better make the best of it while it lasts. P'lena ain't
+      Hetty Green, and her money won't hold out forever.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That's a fact. Still Polena's got sense. She'll hold Hardee in check, I
+      cal'late. I wouldn't wonder if it ended by her bossin' things and the
+      Major actin' as a sort of pet poodle dog&mdash;nice and pretty to walk out
+      with, but always kept at the end of a string.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You didn't go to Higgins's for dinner to-day, did you?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;No. Nor I shan't go for supper. Beriah's bad enough when he's got nothin'
+      the matter with him but dyspepsy. Now that his sufferin's are complicated
+      with elopements, I don't want to eat with him.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Come and have supper with us.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I guess not, thank you, Sim. I'll get some crackers and cheese and such
+      at the store. I&mdash;I ain't very hungry these days.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      He turned his head and looked out of the window. Simeon fidgeted.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sol,&rdquo; he said, after a pause, &ldquo;we'll be past Olive's by to-morrer night.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      No answer. Sim repeated his remark.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I know it,&rdquo; was the short reply.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes&mdash;yes, I s'posed you did, but&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Sim, don't bother me now. This is my last day here at the depot, and I've
+      got things to do.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Your last day? Why, what&mdash;?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Sol told briefly of his resignation and of the coming of the new
+      depot master.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But you givin' up your job!&rdquo; gasped Phinney. &ldquo;YOU! Why, what for?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;For instance, I guess. I ain't dependent on the wages, and I'm sick of
+      the whole thing.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But what'll you do?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Don't know.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;You&mdash;you won't leave town, will you? Lawsy mercy, I hope not!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Don't know. Maybe I'll know better by and by. I've got to think things
+      out. Run along now, like a good feller. Don't say nothin' about my
+      quittin'. All hands'll know it to-morrow, and that's soon enough.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Simeon departed, his brain in a whirl. Captain Solomon Berry no longer
+      depot master! The world must be coming to an end.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      He remained at his work until supper time. During the meal he ate and said
+      so little that his wife wondered and asked questions. To avoid answering
+      them he hurried out. When he returned, about ten o'clock, he was a changed
+      man. His eyes shone and he fairly danced with excitement.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Emeline!&rdquo; he shouted, as he burst into the sitting room. &ldquo;What do you
+      think? I've got the everlastin'est news to tell!&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Good or bad?&rdquo; asked the practical Mrs. Phinney.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Good! So good that&mdash;There! let me tell you. When I left here I went
+      down to the store and hung around till the mail was sorted. Pat Starkey
+      was doin' the sortin', Beriah bein' too upsot by Gertie's gettin' married
+      to attend to anything. Pat called me to the mail window and handed me a
+      letter.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'It's for Olive Edwards,' he says. 'She's been expectin' one for a
+      consider'ble spell, she told me, and maybe this is it. P'r'aps you'd just
+      as soon go round by her shop and leave it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I took the letter and looked at it. Up in one corner was the printed name
+      of an Omaha firm. I never said nothin', but I sartinly hustled on my way
+      up the hill.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Olive was in her little settin' room back of the shop. She was pretty
+      pale, and her eyes looked as if she hadn't been doin' much sleepin'
+      lately. Likewise I noticed&mdash;and it give me a queer feelin' inside&mdash;that
+      her trunk was standin', partly packed, in the corner.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The poor woman!&rdquo; exclaimed Mrs. Phinney.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; went on her husband. &ldquo;Well, I handed over the letter and started to
+      go, but she told me to set down and rest, 'cause I was so out of breath.
+      To tell you the truth, I was crazy to find out what was in that envelope
+      and, being as she'd give me the excuse, I set.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She took the letter over to the lamp and looked at it for much as a
+      minute, as if she was afraid to open it. But at last, and with her fingers
+      shakin' like the palsy, she fetched a long breath and tore off the end of
+      the envelope. It was a pretty long letter, and she read it through. I see
+      her face gettin' whiter and whiter and, when she reached the bottom of the
+      last page, the letter fell onto the floor. Down went her head on her arms,
+      and she cried as if her heart would break. I never felt so sorry for
+      anybody in my life.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Don't, Mrs. Edwards,' I says. 'Please don't. That cousin of yours is a
+      darn ungrateful scamp, and I'd like to have my claws on his neck this
+      minute.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She never even asked me how I knew about the cousin. She was too much
+      upset for that.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh! oh!' she sobs. 'What SHALL I do? Where shall I go? I haven't got a
+      friend in the world!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I couldn't stand that. I went acrost and laid my hand on her shoulder.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Mrs. Edwards,' says I, 'you mustn't say that. You've got lots of
+      friends. I'm your friend. Mr. Hilton's your friend. Yes, and there's
+      another, the best friend of all. If it weren't for him, you'd have been
+      turned out into the street long before this.'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Mrs. Phinney nodded. &ldquo;I'm glad you told her!&rdquo; she exclaimed. &ldquo;She'd ought
+      to know.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That's what I thought,&rdquo; said Simeon.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Well, she raised her head then and looked at me.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You mean Mr. Williams?' she asks.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;That riled me up. 'Williams nothin'!' says I. 'Williams let you stay here
+      'cause he could just as well as not. If he'd known that this other friend
+      was keepin' him from gettin' here, just on your account, he'd have chucked
+      you to glory, promise or no promise. But this friend, this real friend, he
+      don't count cost, nor trouble, nor inconvenience. Hikes his house&mdash;the
+      house he lives in&mdash;right out into the road, moves it to a place where
+      he don't want to go, and&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Mr. Phinney,' she sighs out, 'what do you mean?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And then I told her. She listened without sayin' a word, but her eyes
+      kept gettin' brighter and brighter and she breathed short.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh!' she says, when I'd finished. 'Did he&mdash;did he&mdash;do that for
+      ME?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'You bet!' says I. 'He didn't tell me what he was doin' it for&mdash;that
+      ain't Sol's style; but I'm arithmetiker enough to put two and two together
+      and make four. He did it for you, you can bet your last red on that.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She stood up. 'Oh!' she breathes. 'I&mdash;I must go and thank him. I&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;But, knowin' Sol, I was afraid. Fust place, there was no tellin' how he'd
+      act, and, besides, he might not take it kindly that I'd told her.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Wait a jiffy,' I says. 'I'll go out and see if he's home. You stay here.
+      I'll be back right off.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Out I put, and over to the Berry house, standin' on its rollers in the
+      middle of the Boulevard. And, just as I got to it, somebody says:
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Ahoy, Sim! What's the hurry? Anybody on fire?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Twas the Cap'n himself, settin' on a pile of movin' joist and smokin' as
+      usual. I didn't waste no time.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Sol,' says I, 'I've just come from Olive's. She's got that letter from
+      the Omaha man. Poor thing! all alone there&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He interrupted me sharp. 'Well?' he snaps. 'What's it say? Will the
+      cousin help her?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No,' I says, 'drat him, he won't!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;The answer I got surprised me more'n anything I ever heard or ever will
+      hear.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Thank God!' says Sol Berry. 'That settles it.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And I swan to man if he didn't climb down off them timbers and march
+      straight across the street, over to the door of Olive Edwards's home, open
+      it, and go in! I leaned against the joist he'd left, and swabbed my
+      forehead with my sleeve.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He went to HER!&rdquo; gasped Mrs. Phinney.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Wait,&rdquo; continued her husband. &ldquo;I must have stood there twenty minutes
+      when I heard somebody hurryin' down the Boulevard. 'Twas Cornelius Rowe,
+      all red-faced and het up, but bu'stin' with news.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;''Lo, Sim!' says he to me. 'Is Cap'n Sol home? Does he know?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Know? Know what?&rdquo; says I.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Why, the trick Mr. Williams put up on him? Hey? You ain't heard? Well,
+      Mr. Williams's fixed him nice, HE has! Seems Abner Payne hadn't answered
+      Sol's letter tellin' him he'd accept the offer to swap lots, and Williams
+      went up to Wareham where Payne's been stayin' and offered him a thumpin'
+      price for the land on Main Street, and took it. The deed's all made out.
+      Cap'n Sol can't move where he was goin' to, and he's left with his house
+      on the town, as you might say. Ain't it a joke, though? Where is Sol? I
+      want to be the fust to tell him and see how he acts. Is he to home?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;I was shook pretty nigh to pieces, but I had some sense left.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'No, he ain't,' says I. 'I see him go up street a spell ago.'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Why, Simeon!&rdquo; interrupted Mrs. Phinney once more. &ldquo;Was that true? How
+      COULD you see him when&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Be still! S'pose I was goin' to tell him where Sol HAD gone? I'd have
+      lied myself blue fust. However, Cornelius was satisfied.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'That so?' he grunts. 'By jings! I'm goin' to find him.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Off he went, and the next thing I knew the Edwards door opened, and I
+      heard somebody callin' my name. I went acrost, walkin' in a kind of daze,
+      and there, in the doorway, with the lamp shinin' on 'em, was Cap'n Sol and
+      Olive. The tears was wet on her cheeks, but she was smilin' in a kind of
+      shy, half-believin' sort of way, and as for Sol, he was one broad,
+      satisfied grin.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Cap'n,' I begun, 'I just heard the everlastin'est news that&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Shut up, Sim!' he orders, cheerful. 'You've been a mighty good friend to
+      both of us, and I want you to be the fust to shake hands.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Shake hands?' I stammers, lookin' at 'em. 'WHAT? You don't mean&mdash;'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'I mean shake hands. Don't you want to?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Want to! I give 'em both one more look, and then we shook, up to the
+      elbows; and my grin had the Cap'n's beat holler.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Sim,' he says, after I'd cackled a few minutes, 'I cal'late maybe that
+      white horse is well by this time. P'r'aps we might move a little faster.
+      I'm kind of anxious to get to Main Street.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Then I remembered. 'Great gosh all fish-hooks!' I sings out. 'Main
+      Street? Why, there AIN'T no Main Street!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;And I gives 'em Cornelius's news. The widow's smile faded out.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Oh!' says she. 'O Solomon! And I got you into all this trouble!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Cap'n Sol didn't stop grinnin', but he scratched his head. 'Huh!' says
+      he. 'Mark one up for King Williams the Great. Humph!'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He thought for a minute and then he laughed out loud. 'Olive,' he says,
+      'if I remember right, you and I always figgered to live on the Shore Road.
+      It's the best site in town. Sim, I guess if that white horse IS well, you
+      can move that shanty of mine right to Cross Street, down that, and back
+      along the Shore Road to the place where it come from. THAT land's mine
+      yet,' says he.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;If that wa'n't him all over! I couldn't think what to say, except that
+      folks would laugh some, I cal'lated.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;'Not at us, they won't,' says he. 'We'll clear out till the laughin' is
+      over. Olive, to-morrer mornin' we'll call on Parson Hilton and then take
+      the ten o'clock train. I feel's if a trip to Washin'ton would be about
+      right just now.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;She started and blushed and then looked up into his face. 'Solomon,' she
+      says, low, 'I really would like to go to Niagara.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;He shook his head. 'Old lady,' says he, 'I guess you don't quite
+      understand this thing. See here'&mdash;p'intin' to his house loomin' big
+      and black in the roadway&mdash;'see! the mountain has come to Mahomet.'&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Mrs. Phinney had heard enough. She sprang from her chair and seized her
+      husband's hands.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Splendid!&rdquo; she cried, her face beaming. &ldquo;Oh, AIN'T it lovely! Ain't you
+      glad for 'em, Simeon?&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Glad! Say, Emeline; there's some of that wild-cherry bounce down cellar,
+      ain't there? Let's break our teetotalism for once and drink a glass to
+      Cap'n and Mrs. Solomon Berry. Jerushy! I got to do SOMETHIN' to
+      celebrate.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      On the Hill Boulevard the summer wind stirred the silverleaf poplars. The
+      thick, black shadows along the sidewalks were heavy with the perfume of
+      flowers. Captain Sol, ex-depot master of East Harniss, strolled on in the
+      dark, under the stars, his hands in his pockets, and in his heart
+      happiness complete and absolute.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Behind him twinkled the lamp in the window of the Edwards house, so soon
+      to be torn down. Before him, over the barberry hedge, blazed the windows
+      of the mansion the owner of which was responsible for it all. The windows
+      were open, and through them sounded the voices of the mighty Ogden
+      Hapworth Williams and his wife, engaged in a lively altercation. It was an
+      open secret that their married life was anything but peaceful.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;What are you grumbling about now?&rdquo; demanded 'Williams. &ldquo;Don't I give you
+      more money than&mdash;&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      &ldquo;Nonsense!&rdquo; sneered Mrs. Williams, in scornful derision. &ldquo;Nonsense, I say!
+      Money is all there is to you, Ogden. In other things, the real things of
+      this world, those you can't buy with money, you're a perfect imbecile. You
+      know nothing whatever about them.&rdquo;
+     </p>
+    <p>
+      Captain Sol, alone on the walk by the hedge, glanced in the direction of
+      the shrill voice, then back at the lamp in Olive's window. And he laughed
+      aloud.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br />
+    </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+
+
+
+
+
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+*Project Gutenberg Etext The Depot Master, by Joseph C. Lincoln*
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+
+
+THE DEPOT MASTER
+
+by Joseph C. Lincoln
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+
+CHAPTER
+
+I.--AT THE DEPOT
+
+II.--SUPPLY AND DEMAND
+
+III.--"STINGY GABE"
+
+IV.--THE MAJOR
+
+V.--A BABY AND A ROBBERY
+
+VI.--AVIATION AND AVARICE
+
+VII.--CAPTAIN SOL DECIDES TO MOVE
+
+VIII.--THE OBLIGATIONS OF A GENTLEMAN
+
+IX.--THE WIDOW BASSETT
+
+X.--CAPTAIN JONADAB GOES
+
+XI.  THE GREAT METROPOLIS
+
+XII.--A VISION SENT
+
+XIII.--DUSENBERRY'S BIRTHDAY
+
+XIV.--EFFIE'S FATE
+
+XV.--THE "HERO" AND THE COWBOY
+
+XVI.--THE CRUISE OF THE RED CAR
+
+XVII.--ISSY'S REVENGE
+
+XVIII.--THE MOUNTAIN AND MAHOMET
+
+
+
+
+THE DEPOT MASTER
+
+
+CHAPTER I
+
+AT THE DEPOT
+
+
+Mr. Simeon Phinney emerged from the side door of his residence and
+paused a moment to light his pipe in the lee of the lilac bushes.
+Mr. Phinney was a man of various and sundry occupations, and his
+sign, nailed to the big silver-leaf in the front yard, enumerated a
+few of them.  "Carpenter, Well Driver, Building Mover, Cranberry
+Bogs Seen to with Care and Dispatch, etc., etc.," so read the sign.
+The house was situated in "Phinney's Lane," the crooked little
+byway off "Cross Street," between the "Shore Road" at the foot of
+the slope and the "Hill Boulevard"--formerly "Higgins's Roost"--at
+the top.  From the Phinney gate the view was extensive and, for the
+most part, wet.  The hill descended sharply, past the "Shore Road,"
+over the barren fields and knolls covered with bayberry bushes and
+"poverty grass," to the yellow sand of the beach and the gray,
+weather-beaten fish-houses scattered along it.  Beyond was the bay,
+a glimmer in the sunset light.
+
+Mrs. Phinney, in the kitchen, was busy with the supper dishes.  Her
+husband, wheezing comfortably at his musical pipe, drew an ancient
+silver watch from his pocket and looked at its dial.  Quarter past
+six.  Time to be getting down to the depot and the post office.  At
+least a dozen male citizens of East Harniss were thinking that very
+thing at that very moment.  It was a community habit of long
+standing to see the train come in and go after the mail.  The facts
+that the train bore no passengers in whom you were intimately
+interested, and that you expected no mail made little difference.
+If you were a man of thirty or older, you went to the depot or the
+"club," just as your wife or sisters went to the sewing circle, for
+sociability and mild excitement.  If you were a single young man
+you went to the post office for the same reason that you attended
+prayer meeting.  If you were a single young lady you went to the
+post office and prayer meeting to furnish a reason for the young man.
+
+Mr. Phinney, replacing his watch in his pocket, meandered to the
+sidewalk and looked down the hill and along the length of the
+"Shore Road."  Beside the latter highway stood a little house,
+painted a spotless white, its window blinds a vivid green.  In that
+house dwelt, and dwelt alone, Captain Solomon Berry, Sim Phinney's
+particular friend.  Captain Sol was the East Harniss depot master
+and, from long acquaintance, Mr. Phinney knew that he should be
+through supper and ready to return to the depot, by this time.  The
+pair usually walked thither together when the evening meal was
+over.
+
+But, except for the smoke curling lazily from the kitchen chimney,
+there was no sign of life about the Berry house.  Either Captain
+Sol had already gone, or he was not yet ready to go.  So Mr.
+Phinney decided that waiting was chancey, and set out alone.
+
+He climbed Cross Street to where the "Hill Boulevard," abiding
+place of East Harniss's summer aristocracy, bisected it, and there,
+standing on the corner, and consciously patronizing the spot where
+he so stood, was Mr. Ogden Hapworth Williams, no less.
+
+Mr. Williams was the village millionaire, patron, and, in a
+gentlemanly way, "boomer."  His estate on the Boulevard was the
+finest in the county, and he, more than any one else, was
+responsible for the "buying up" by wealthy people from the city of
+the town's best building sites, the spots commanding "fine marine
+sea views," to quote from Abner Payne, local real estate and
+insurance agent.  His own estate was fine enough to be talked about
+from one end of the Cape to the other and he had bought the empty
+lot opposite and made it into a miniature park, with flower beds
+and gravel walks, though no one but he or his might pick the
+flowers or tread the walks.  He had brought on a wealthy friend
+from New York and a cousin from Chicago, and they, too, had bought
+acres on the Boulevard and erected palatial "cottages" where once
+were the houses of country people.  Local cynics suggested that the
+sign on the East Harniss railroad station should be changed to read
+"Williamsburg."  "He owns the place, body and soul," said they.
+
+As Sim Phinney climbed the hill the magnate, pompous, portly, and
+imposing, held up a signaling finger.  "Just as if he was hailin' a
+horse car," described Simeon afterward.
+
+"Phinney," he said, "come here, I want to speak to you."
+
+The man of many trades obediently approached.
+
+"Good evenin', Mr. Williams," he ventured.
+
+"Phinney," went on the great man briskly, "I want you to give me
+your figures on a house moving deal.  I have bought a house on the
+Shore Road, the one that used to belong to the--er--Smalleys, I
+believe."
+
+Simeon was surprised.  "What, the old Smalley house?" he exclaimed.
+"You don't tell me!"
+
+"Yes, it's a fine specimen--so my wife says--of the pure Colonial,
+whatever that is, and I intend moving it to the Boulevard.  I want
+your figures for the job."
+
+The building mover looked puzzled.  "To the Boulevard?" he said.
+"Why, I didn't know there was a vacant lot on the Boulevard, Mr.
+Williams."
+
+"There isn't now, but there will be soon.  I have got hold of the
+hundred feet left from the old Seabury estate."
+
+Mr. Phinney drew a long breath.  "Why!" he stammered, "that's where
+Olive Edwards--her that was Olive Seabury--lives, ain't it?"
+
+"Yes," was the rather impatient answer.  "She has been living
+there.  But the place was mortgaged up to the handle and--ahem--the
+mortgage is mine now."
+
+For an instant Simeon did not reply.  He was gazing, not up the
+Boulevard in the direction of the "Seabury place" but across the
+slope of the hill toward the home of Captain Sol Berry, the depot
+master.  There was a troubled look on his face.
+
+"Well?" inquired Williams briskly, "when can you give me the
+figures?  They must be low, mind.  No country skin games, you
+understand."
+
+"Hey?"  Phinney came out of his momentary trance.  "Yes, yes, Mr.
+Williams.  They'll be low enough.  Times is kind of dull now and
+I'd like a movin' job first-rate.  I'll give 'em to you to-morrer.
+But--but Olive'll have to move, won't she?  And where's she goin'?"
+
+"She'll have to move, sure.  And the eyesore on that lot now will
+come down."
+
+The "eyesore" was the four room building, combined dwelling and
+shop of Mrs. Olive Edwards, widow of "Bill Edwards," once a
+promising young man, later town drunkard and ne'er-do-well, dead
+these five years, luckily for himself and luckier--in a way--for
+the wife who had stuck by him while he wasted her inheritance in a
+losing battle with John Barleycorn.  At his death the fine old
+Seabury place had dwindled to a lone hundred feet of land, the
+little house, and a mortgage on both.  Olive had opened a "notion
+store" in her front parlor and had fought on, proudly refusing aid
+and trying to earn a living.  She had failed.  Again Phinney stared
+thoughtfully at the distant house of Captain Sol.
+
+"But Olive," he said, slowly.  "She ain't got no folks, has she?
+What'll become of her?  Where'll she move to?"
+
+"That," said Mr. Williams, with a wave of a fat hand, "is not my
+business.  I am sorry for her, if she's hard up.  But I can't be
+responsible if men will drink up their wives' money.  Look out for
+number one; that's business.  I sha'n't be unreasonable with her.
+She can stay where she is until the new house I've bought is moved
+to that lot.  Then she must clear out.  I've told her that.  She
+knows all about it.  Well, good-by, Phinney.  I shall expect your
+bid to-morrow.  And, mind, don't try to get the best of me, because
+you can't do it."
+
+He turned and strutted back up the Boulevard.  Sim Phinney,
+pondering deeply and very grave, continued on his way, down Cross
+Street to Main--naming the village roads was another of the
+Williams' "improvements"--and along that to the crossing, East
+Harniss's business and social center at train times.
+
+The station--everyone called it "deepo," of course--was then a
+small red building, old and out of date, but scrupulously neat
+because of Captain Berry's rigid surveillance.  Close beside it was
+the "Boston Grocery, Dry Goods and General Store," Mr. Beriah
+Higgins, proprietor.  Beriah was postmaster and the post office was
+in his store.  The male citizen of middle age or over, seeking
+opportunity for companionship and chat, usually went first to the
+depot, sat about in the waiting room until the train came in,
+superintended that function, then sojourned to the post office
+until the mail was sorted, returning later, if he happened to be a
+particular friend of the depot master, to sit and smoke and yarn
+until Captain Sol announced that it was time to "turn in."
+
+When Mr. Phinney entered the little waiting room he found it
+already tenanted.  Captain Sol had not yet arrived, but official
+authority was represented by "Issy" McKay--his full name was
+Issachar Ulysses Grant McKay--a long-legged, freckled-faced, tow-
+headed youth of twenty, who, as usual, was sprawled along the
+settee by the wall, engrossed in a paper covered dime novel.
+"Issy" was a lover of certain kinds of literature and reveled in
+lurid fiction.  As a youngster he had, at the age of thirteen,
+after a course of reading in the "Deadwood Dick Library," started
+on a pedestrian journey to the Far West, where, being armed with
+home-made tomahawk and scalping knife, he contemplated
+extermination of the noble red man.  A wrathful pursuing parent had
+collared the exterminator at the Bayport station, to the huge
+delight of East Harniss, young and old.  Since this adventure Issy
+had been famous, in a way.
+
+He was Captain Sol Berry's assistant at the depot.  Why an
+assistant was needed was a much discussed question.  Why Captain
+Sol, a retired seafaring man with money in the bank, should care to
+be depot master at ten dollars a week was another.  The Captain
+himself said he took the place because he wanted to do something
+that was "half way between a loaf and a job."  He employed an
+assistant at his own expense because he "might want to stretch the
+loafin' half."  And he hired Issy because--well, because "most
+folks in East Harniss are alike and you can always tell about what
+they'll say or do.  Now Issy's different.  The Lord only knows what
+HE'S likely to do, and that makes him interestin' as a conundrum,
+to guess at.  He kind of keeps my sense of responsibility from
+gettin' mossy, Issy does."
+
+"Issy," hailed Mr. Phinney, "has the Cap'n got here yet?"
+
+Issy answered not.  The villainous floorwalker had just proffered
+matrimony or summary discharge to "Flora, the Beautiful Shop Girl,"
+and pending her answer, the McKay mind had no room for trifles.
+
+"Issy!" shouted Simeon.  "I say, Is', Wake up, you foolhead!  Has
+Cap'n Sol--"
+
+"No, he ain't, Sim," volunteered Ed Crocker.  He and his chum,
+Cornelius Rowe, were seated in two of the waiting room chairs,
+their feet on two others.  "He ain't got here yet.  We was just
+talkin' about him.  You've heard about Olive Edwards, I s'pose
+likely, ain't you?"
+
+Phinney nodded gloomily.
+
+"Yes," he said, "I've heard."
+
+"Well, it's too bad," continued Crocker.  "But, after all, it's
+Olive's own fault.  She'd ought to have married Sol Berry when she
+had the chance.  What she ever gave him the go-by for, after the
+years they was keepin' comp'ny, is more'n I can understand."
+
+Cornelius Rowe shook his head, with an air of wisdom.  Captain Sol,
+himself, remarked once: "I wonder sometimes the Almighty ain't
+jealous of Cornelius, he knows so much and is so responsible for
+the runnin' of all creation."
+
+"Humph!" grunted Mr. Rowe.  "There's more to that business than you
+folks think.  Olive didn't notice Bill Edwards till Sol went off to
+sea and stayed two years and over.  How do you know she shook Sol?
+You might just as well say he shook her.  He always was stubborn as
+an off ox and cranky as a windlass.  I wonder how he feels now,
+when she's lost her last red and is goin' to be drove out of house
+and home.  And all on account of that fool 'mountain and Mahomet'
+business."
+
+"WHICH?" asked Mr. Crocker.
+
+"Never mind that, Cornelius," put in Phinney, sharply.  "Why don't
+you let other folks' affairs alone?  That was a secret that Olive
+told your sister and you've got no right to go blabbin'."
+
+"Aw, hush up, Sim!  I ain't tellin' no secrets to anybody but Ed
+here, and he ain't lived in East Harniss long or he'd know it
+already.  The mountain and Mahomet?  Why, them was the last words
+Sol and Olive had.  'Twas Sol's stubbornness that was most to
+blame.  That was his one bad fault.  He would have his own way and
+he wouldn't change.  Olive had set her heart on goin' to Washin'ton
+for their weddin' tower.  Sol wanted to go to Niagara.  They argued
+a long time, and finally Olive says, 'No, Solomon, I'm not goin' to
+give in this time.  I have all the others, but it's not fair and
+it's not right, and no married life can be happy where one does all
+the sacrificin'.  If you care for me you'll do as I want now.'
+
+"And he laughs and says, 'All right, I'll sacrifice after this, but
+you and me must see Niagara.'  And she was sot and he was sotter,
+and at last they quarreled.  He marches out of the door and says:
+'Very good.  When you're ready to be sensible and change your mind,
+you can come to me.  And says Olive, pretty white but firm: 'No,
+Solomon, I'm right and you're not.  I'm afraid this time the
+mountain must come to Mahomet.'  That ended it.  He went away and
+never come back, and after a long spell she give in to her dad and
+married Bill Edwards.  Foolish?  'Well, now, WA'N'T it!"
+
+"Humph!" grunted Crocker.  "She must have been a born gump to let a
+smart man like him get away just for that."
+
+"There's a good many born gumps not so far from here as her house,"
+interjected Phinney.  "You remember that next time you look in the
+glass, Ed Crocker.  And--and--well, there's no better friend of Sol
+Berry's on earth than I am, but, so fur as their quarrel was
+concerned, if you ask me I'd have to say Olive was pretty nigh
+right."
+
+"Maybe--maybe," declared the allwise Cornelius, "but just the same
+if I was Sol Berry, and knew my old girl was likely to go to the
+poorhouse, I'll bet my conscience--"
+
+"S-ssh!" hissed Crocker, frantically.  Cornelius stopped in the
+middle of his sentence, whirled in his chair, and looked up.
+Behind him in the doorway of the station stood Captain Sol himself.
+The blue cap he always wore was set back on his head, a cigar
+tipped upward from the corner of his mouth, and there was a grim
+look in his eye and about the smooth shaven lips above the short,
+grayish-brown beard.
+
+"Issy" sprang from his settee and jammed the paper novel into his
+pocket.  Ed Crocker's sunburned face turned redder yet.  Sim
+Phinney grinned at Mr. Rowe, who was very much embarrassed.
+
+"Er--er--evenin', Cap'n Sol," he stammered.  "Nice, seasonable
+weather, ain't it?  Been a nice day."
+
+"Um," grunted the depot master, knocking the ashes from his cigar.
+
+"Just right for workin' outdoor," continued Cornelius.
+
+"I guess it must be.  I saw your wife rakin' the yard this
+mornin'."
+
+Phinney doubled up with a chuckle.  Mr. Rowe swallowed hard.  "I--I
+TOLD her I'd rake it myself soon's I got time," he sputtered.
+
+"Um.  Well, I s'pose she realized your time was precious.  Evenin',
+Sim, glad to see you."
+
+He held out his hand and Phinney grasped it.
+
+"Issy," said Captain Sol, "you'd better get busy with the broom,
+hadn't you.  It's standin' over in that corner and I wouldn't
+wonder if it needed exercise.  Sim, the train ain't due for twenty
+minutes yet.  That gives us at least three quarters of an hour
+afore it gets here.  Come outside a spell.  I want to talk to you."
+
+He led the way to the platform, around the corner of the station,
+and seated himself on the baggage truck.  That side of the
+building, being furthest from the street, was out of view from the
+post office and "general store."
+
+"What was it you wanted to talk about, Sol?" asked Simeon, sitting
+down beside his friend on the truck.
+
+The Captain smoked in silence for a moment.  Then he asked a
+question in return.
+
+"Sim," he said, "have you heard anything about Williams buying the
+Smalley house?  Is it true?"
+
+Phinney nodded.  "Yup," he answered, "it's true.  Williams was just
+talkin' to me and I know all about his buyin' it and where it's
+goin'."
+
+He repeated the conversation with the great man.  Captain Sol did
+not interrupt.  He smoked on, and a frown gathered and deepened as
+he listened.
+
+"Humph!" he said, when his friend had concluded.  "Humph!  Sim, do
+you have any idea what--what Olive Seabury will do when she has to
+go?"
+
+Phinney glanced at him.  It was the first time in twenty years that
+he had heard Solomon Berry mention the name of his former
+sweetheart.  And even now he did not call her by her married name,
+the name of her late husband.
+
+"No," replied Simeon.  "No, Sol, I ain't got the least idea.  Poor
+thing!"
+
+Another interval.  Then: "Well, Sim, find out if you can, and let
+me know.  And," turning his head and speaking quietly but firmly,
+"don't let anybody ELSE know I asked."
+
+"Course I won't, Sol, you know that.  But don't it seem awful mean
+turnin' her out so?  I wouldn't think Mr. Williams would do such a
+thing."
+
+His companion smiled grimly; "I would," he said.  "'Business is
+business,' that's his motto.  That and 'Look out for number one.'"
+
+"Yes, he said somethin' to me about lookin' out for number one."
+
+"Did he?  Humph!"  The Captain's smile lost a little of its
+bitterness and broadened.  He seemed to be thinking and to find
+amusement in the process.
+
+"What you grinnin' at?" demanded Phinney.
+
+"Oh, I was just rememberin' how he looked out for number one the
+first--no, the second time I met him.  I don't believe he's forgot
+it.  Maybe that's why he ain't quite so high and mighty to me as he
+is to the rest of you fellers.  Ha! ha!  He tried to patronize me
+when I first came back here and took this depot and I just smiled
+and asked him what the market price of johnny-cake was these days.
+He got red clear up to the brim of his tall hat.  Humph! 'TWAS
+funny."
+
+"The market price of JOHNNY-CAKE!  He must have thought you was
+loony."
+
+"No.  I'm the last man he'd think was loony.  You see I met him a
+fore he came here to live at all."
+
+"You did?  Where?"
+
+"Oh, over to Wellmouth.  'Twas the year afore I come back to East
+Harniss, myself, after my long stretch away from it.  I never
+intended to see the Cape again, but I couldn't stay away somehow.
+I've told you that much--how I went over to Wellmouth and boarded a
+spell, got sick of that, and, just to be doin' somethin' and not
+for the money, bought a catboat and took out sailin' parties from
+Wixon and Wingate's summer hotel."
+
+"And you met Mr. Williams?  Well, I snum!  Was he at the hotel?"
+
+"No, not exactly.  I met him sort of casual this second time."
+
+"SECOND time?  Had you met him afore that?"
+
+"Don't get ahead of the yarn, Sim.  It happened this way: You see,
+I was comin' along the road between East Wellmouth and the Center
+when I run afoul of him.  He was fat and shiny, and drivin' a
+skittish horse hitched to a fancy buggy.  When he sighted me he
+hove to and hailed.
+
+"'Here you!' says he, in a voice as fat as the rest of him.  'Your
+name's Berry, ain't it.'
+
+"'Yup,' says I.
+
+"'Methusalum Berry or Jehoshaphat Berry or Sheba Berry, or
+somethin' like that?  Hey?' he says.
+
+"'Well,' says I, 'the last shot you fired comes nighest the bull's
+eye.  They christened me Solomon, but 'twa'n't my fault; I was
+young at the time and they took advantage.'
+
+"He grinned a kind of lopsided grin, like he had a lemon in his
+mouth, and commenced to cuss the horse for tryin' to climb a pine
+tree.
+
+"'I knew 'twas some Bible outrage or other,' he says.  'There's
+more Bible names in this forsaken sand heap than there is
+Christians, a good sight.  When I meet a man with a Bible name and
+chin whiskers I hang on to my watch.  The feller that sets out to
+do me has got to have a better make up than that, you bet your
+life.  'Well, see here, King Sol; can you run a gasoline launch?'
+
+"'Why, yes, I guess I can run 'most any of the everyday kinds,'
+says I, pullin' thoughtful at my own chin whiskers.  This fat man
+had got me interested.  He was so polite and folksy in his remarks.
+Didn't seem to stand on no ceremony, as you might say.  Likewise
+there was a kind of familiar somethin' about his face.  I knew
+mighty well I'd never met him afore, and yet I seemed to have a
+floatin' memory of him, same as a chap remembers the taste of the
+senna and salts his ma made him take when he was little.
+
+"'All right,' says he, sharp.  'Then you come around to my landin'
+to-morrer mornin' at eight o'clock prompt and take me out in my
+launch to the cod-fishin' grounds.  I'll give you ten dollars to
+take me out there and back.'
+
+"'Well,' says I, 'ten dollars is a good price enough.  Do I
+furnish--'
+
+"'You furnish nothin' except your grub,' he interrupts.  'The
+launch'll be ready and the lines and hooks and bait'll be ready.
+My own man was to do the job, but he and I had a heart-to-heart
+talk just now and I told him where he could go and go quick.  No
+smart Alec gets the best of me, even if he has got a month's
+contract.  You run that launch and put me on the fishin' grounds.
+I pay you for that and bringin' me back again.  And I furnish my
+own extras and you can furnish yours.  I don't want any of your
+Yankee bargainin'.  See?'
+
+"I saw.  There wa'n't no real reason why I couldn't take the job.
+'Twas well along into September; the hotel was closed for the
+season; and about all I had on my hands just then was time.
+
+"'All right,' says I, 'it's a deal.  If you'll guarantee to have
+your launch ready, I--'
+
+"'That's my business,' he says.  'It'll be ready.  If it ain't
+you'll get your pay just the same.  To-morrer mornin' at eight
+o'clock.  And don't you forget and be late.  Gid-dap, you
+blackguard!' says he to the horse.
+
+"'Hold on, just a minute,' I hollers, runnin' after him.  'I don't
+want to be curious nor nosey, you understand, but seems 's if it
+might help me to be on time if I knew where your launch was goin'
+to be and what your name was.'
+
+"He pulled up then.  'Humph!' he says, 'if you don't know my name
+and more about my private affairs than I do myself, you're the only
+one in this county that don't.  My name's Williams, and I live in
+what you folks call the Lathrop place over here toward Trumet.  The
+launch is at my landin' down in front of the house.'
+
+"He drove off then and I walked along thinkin'.  I knew who he was
+now, of course.  There was consider'ble talk when the Lathrop place
+was rented, and I gathered that the feller who hired it answered to
+the hail of Williams and was a retired banker, sufferin' from an
+enlarged income and the diseases that go along with it.  He lived
+alone up there in the big house, except for a cranky housekeeper
+and two or three servants.  This was afore he got married, Sim; his
+wife's tamed him a little.  Then the yarns about his temper and
+language would have filled a log book.
+
+"But all this was way to one side of the mark-buoy, so fur as I was
+concerned.  I'd cruised with cranks afore and I thought I could
+stand this one--ten dollars' worth of him, anyhow.  Bluster and big
+talk may scare some folks, but to me they're like Aunt Hepsy
+Parker's false teeth, the further off you be from 'em the more real
+they look.  So the next mornin' I was up bright and early and on my
+way over to the Lathrop landin'.
+
+"The launch was there, made fast alongside the little wharf.  Nice,
+slick-lookin' craft she was, too, all varnish and gilt
+gorgeousness.  I'd liked her better if she'd carried a sail, for
+it's my experience that canvas is a handy thing to have aboard in
+case of need; but she looked seaworthy enough and built for speed.
+
+"While I was standin' on the pier lookin' down at her I heard
+footsteps and brisk remarks from behind the bushes on the bank, and
+here comes Williams, puffin' and blowin', followed by a sulky-
+lookin' hired man totin' a deckload of sweaters and ileskins, with
+a lunch basket on top.  Williams himself wan't carryin' anything
+but his temper, but he hadn't forgot none of that.
+
+"'Hello, Berry,' says he to me.  'You are on time, ain't you.
+Blessed if it ain't a comfort to find somebody who'll do what I
+tell 'em.  Now you,' he says to the servant, 'put them things
+aboard and clear out as quick as you've a mind to.  You and I are
+through; understand?  Don't let me find you hangin' around the
+place when I get back.  Cast off, Sol.'
+
+"The man dumped the dunnage into the launch, pretty average ugly,
+and me and the boss climbed aboard.  I cast off.
+
+"'Mr. Williams,' says the man, kind of pleadin', 'ain't you goin'
+to pay me the rest of my month's wages?'
+
+"Williams told him he wa'n't, and added trimmin's to make it
+emphatic.
+
+"I started the engine and we moved out at a good clip.  All at once
+that hired man runs to the end of the wharf and calls after us.
+
+"'All right for you, you fat-head!' he yells.  'You'll be sorry for
+what you done to me.'
+
+"I cal'late the boss would have liked to go back and lick him, but
+I was hired to go a-fishin', not to watch a one-sided prize fight,
+and I thought 'twas high time we started.
+
+"The name of that launch was the Shootin' Star, and she certainly
+lived up to it.  'Twas one of them slick, greasy days, with no sea
+worth mentionin' and we biled along fine.  We had to, because the
+cod ledge is a good many mile away, 'round Sandy P'int out to sea,
+and, judgin' by what I'd seen of Fatty so fur, I wa'n't hankerin'
+to spend more time with him than was necessary.  More'n that, there
+was fog signs showin'.
+
+"'When was you figgerin' on gettin' back, Mr. Williams?' I asked
+him.
+
+"'When I've caught as many fish as I want to,' he says.  'I told
+that housekeeper of mine that I'd be back when I got good and
+ready; it might be to-night and it might be ten days from now.  "If
+I ain't back in a week you can hunt me up," I told her; "but not
+before.  And that goes."  I've got HER trained all right.  She
+knows me.  It's a pity if a man can't be independent of females.'
+
+"I knew consider'ble many men that was subjects for pity, 'cordin'
+to that rule.  But I wa'n't in for no week's cruise, and I told him
+so.  He said of course not; we'd be home that evenin'.
+
+"The Shootin' Star kept slippin' along.  'Twas a beautiful mornin'
+and, after a spell, it had its effect, even on a crippled
+disposition like that banker man's.  He lit up a cigar and begun to
+get more sociable, in his way.  Commenced to ask me questions about
+myself.
+
+"By and by he says: 'Berry, I suppose you figger that it's a smart
+thing to get ten dollars out of me for a trip like this, hey?'
+
+"'Not if it's to last a week, I don't,' says I.
+
+"'It's your lookout if it does,' he says prompt.  'You get ten for
+takin' me out and back.  If you ain't back on time 'tain't my
+fault.'
+
+"'Unless this craft breaks down,' I says.
+
+"''Twon't break down.  I looked after that.  My motto is to look
+out for number one every time, and it's a mighty good motto.  At
+any rate, it's made my money for me.'
+
+"He went on, preachin' about business shrewdness and how it paid,
+and how mean and tricky in little deals we Rubes was, and yet we
+didn't appreciate how to manage big things, till I got kind of sick
+of it.
+
+"'Look here, Mr. Williams,' says I, 'you know how I make my money--
+what little I do make--or you say you do.  Now, if it ain't a sassy
+question, how did you make yours?'
+
+"Well, he made his by bein' shrewd and careful and always lookin'
+out for number one.  'Number one' was his hobby.  I gathered that
+the heft of his spare change had come from dickers in stocks and
+bonds.
+
+"'Humph!' says I.  'Well, speakin' of tricks and meanness, I've
+allers heard tell that there was some of them things hitched to the
+tail of the stock market.  What makes the stock market price of--
+well, of wheat, we'll say?'
+
+"That was regulated, so he said, by the law of supply and demand.
+If a feller had all the wheat there was and another chap had to
+have some or starve, why, the first one had a right to gouge
+t'other chap's last cent away from him afore he let it go.
+
+"'That's legitimate,' he says.  'That's cornerin' the market.  Law
+of supply and demand exemplified.'
+
+"''Cordin' to that law,' says I, 'when you was so set on fishin'
+to-day and hunted me up to run your boat here--'cause I was about
+the only chap who could run it and wa'n't otherwise busy--I'd ought
+to have charged you twenty dollars instead of ten.'
+
+"'Sure you had,' he says, grinnin'.  'But you weren't shrewd enough
+to grasp the situation and do it.  Now the deal's closed and it's
+too late.'
+
+"He went on talkin' about 'pools' and deals' and such.  How prices
+of this stock and that was shoved up a-purpose till a lot of folks
+had put their money in it and then was smashed flat so's all hands
+but the 'poolers' would be what he called 'squeezed out,' and the
+gang would get their cash.  That was legitimate, too--'high
+finance,' he said.
+
+"'But how about the poor folks that had their savin's in them
+stocks,' I asks, 'and don't know high financin'?  Where's the law
+of supply and demand come in for them?'
+
+"He laughed.  'They supply the suckers and the demand for money,'
+says he.
+
+"By eleven we was well out toward the fishin' grounds.  'Twas the
+bad season now; the big fish had struck off still further and there
+wa'n't another boat in sight.  The land was just a yeller and green
+smooch along the sky line and the waves was runnin' bigger.  The
+Shootin' Star was seaworthy, though, and I wa'n't worried about
+her.  The only thing that troubled me was the fog, and that was
+pilin' up to wind'ard.  I'd called Fatty's attention to it when we
+fust started, but he said he didn't care a red for fog.  Well, I
+didn't much care nuther, for we had a compass aboard and the engine
+was runnin' fine.  What wind there was was blowin' offshore.
+
+"And then, all to once, the engine STOPPED runnin'.  I give the
+wheel a whirl, but she only coughed, consumptive-like, and quit
+again.  I went for'ard to inspect, and, if you'll believe it, there
+wa'n't a drop of gasoline left in the tank.  The spare cans had
+ought to have been full, and they was--but 'twas water they was
+filled with.
+
+"'Is THIS the way you have your boat ready for me?' I remarks,
+sarcastic.
+
+"'That--that man of mine told me he had everything filled,' he
+stammers, lookin' scart.
+
+"'Yes,' says I, 'and I heard him hint likewise that he was goin' to
+make you sorry.  I guess he's done it.'
+
+"Well, sir! the brimstone names that Fatty called that man was
+somethin' surprisin' to hear.  When he'd used up all he had in
+stock he invented new ones.  When the praise service was over he
+turns to me and says: 'But what are we goin' to do?'
+
+"'Do?' says I.  'That's easy.  We're goin' to drift.'
+
+"And that's what we done.  I tried to anchor, but we wa'n't over
+the ledge and the iron wouldn't reach bottom by a mile, more or
+less.  I rigged up a sail out of the oar and the canvas spray
+shield, but there wa'n't wind enough to give us steerageway.  So we
+drifted and drifted, out to sea.  And by and by the fog come down
+and shut us in, and that fixed what little hope I had of bein' seen
+by the life patrol on shore.
+
+"The breeze died out flat about three o'clock.  In one way this was
+a good thing.  In another it wa'n't, because we was well out in
+deep water, and when the wind did come it was likely to come
+harder'n we needed.  However, there wa'n't nothin' to do but wait
+and hope for the best, as the feller said when his wife's mother
+was sick.
+
+"It was gettin' pretty well along toward the edge of the evenin'
+when I smelt the wind a-comin'.  It came in puffs at fust, and
+every puff was healthier than the one previous.  Inside of ten
+minutes it was blowin' hard, and the seas were beginnin' to kick
+up.  I got up my jury rig--the oar and the spray shield--and took
+the helm.  There wa'n't nothin' to do but run afore it, and the
+land knows where we would fetch up.  At any rate, if the compass
+was right, we was drivin' back into the bay again, for the wind had
+hauled clear around.
+
+"The Shootin' Star jumped and sloshed.  Fatty had on all the
+ileskins and sweaters, but he was shakin' like a custard pie.
+
+"'Oh, oh, heavens!' he chatters.  'What will we do?  Will we
+drown?'
+
+"'Don't know,' says I, tuggin' at the wheel and tryin' to sight the
+compass.  'You've got the best chance of the two of us, if it's
+true that fat floats.'
+
+"I thought that might cheer him up some, but it didn't.  A big wave
+heeled us over then and a keg or two of salt water poured over the
+gunwale.  He give a yell and jumped up.
+
+"'My Lord!' he screams.  'We're sinkin'.  Help! help!'
+
+"'Set down!' I roared.  'Thought you knew how to act in a boat.
+Set down! d'you hear me?  SET DOWN AND SET STILL!'
+
+"He set.  Likewise he shivered and groaned.  It got darker all the
+time and the wind freshened every minute.  I expected to see that
+jury mast go by the board at any time.  Lucky for us it held.
+
+"No use tellin' about the next couple of hours.  'Cordin' to my
+reckonin' they was years and we'd ought to have sailed plumb
+through the broadside of the Cape, and be makin' a quick run for
+Africy.  But at last we got into smoother water, and then, right
+acrost our bows, showed up a white strip.  The fog had pretty well
+blowed clear and I could see it.
+
+"'Land, ho!' I yells.  'Stand by!  WE'RE goin' to bump.'"
+
+Captain Sol stopped short and listened.  Mr. Phinney grasped his
+arm.
+
+"For the dear land sakes, Sol," he exclaimed, "don't leave me
+hangin' in them breakers no longer'n you can help!  Heave ahead!
+DID you bump?"
+
+The depot master chuckled.
+
+"DID we?" he repeated.  "Well, I'll tell you that by and by.  Here
+comes the train and I better take charge of the ship.  Anything so
+responsible as seein' the cars come in without me to help would
+give Issy the jumpin' heart disease."
+
+He sprang from the truck and hastened toward the door of the
+station.  Phinney, rising to follow him, saw, over the dark green
+of the swamp cedars at the head of the track, an advancing column
+of smoke.  A whistle sounded.  The train was coming in.
+
+
+CHAPTER II
+
+SUPPLY AND DEMAND
+
+
+And now life in East Harniss became temporarily fevered.  Issy
+McKay dashed out of the station and rushed importantly up and down
+the platform.  Ed Crocker and Cornelius Rowe emerged and draped
+themselves in statuesque attitudes against the side of the
+building.  Obed Gott came hurrying from his paint and oil shop,
+which was next to the "general store."  Mr. Higgins, proprietor of
+the latter, sauntered easily across to receive, in his official
+capacity as postmaster, the mail bag.  Ten or more citizens, of
+both sexes, and of various ages, gathered in groups to inspect and
+supervise.
+
+The locomotive pulled its string of cars, a "baggage," a "smoker,"
+and two "passengers," alongside the platform.  The sliding door of
+the baggage car was pushed back and the baggage master appeared in
+the opening.  "Hi! Cap�n!" he shouted.  "Hi, Cap�n Sol!  Here�s
+some express for you."
+
+But unfortunately the Captain was in conversation with the
+conductor at the other end of the train.  Issy, willing and
+officious, sprang forward.  "I�ll take it, Bill," he volunteered.
+"Here, give it to me."
+
+The baggage master handed down the package, a good sized one marked
+"Glass.  With Care."  Issy received it, clutched it to his bosom,
+turned and saw Gertie Higgins, pretty daughter of Beriah Higgins,
+stepping from the first car to the platform.  Gertie had been
+staying with an aunt in Trumet and was now returning home for a day
+or two.
+
+Issy stopped short and gazed at her.  He saw her meet and kiss her
+father, and the sight roused turbulent emotions in his bosom.  He
+saw her nod and smile at acquaintances whom she passed.  She
+approached, noticed him, and--oh, rapture!--said laughingly,
+"Hello, Is."  Before he could recover his senses and remember to do
+more than grin she had disappeared around the corner of the
+station.  Therefore he did not see the young man who stepped
+forward to shake her hand and whisper in her ear.  This young man
+was Sam Bartlett, and, as a "city dude," Issy loathed and hated him.
+
+No, Issy did not see the hurried and brief meeting between Bartlett
+and Gertie Higgins, but he had seen enough to cause forgetfulness
+of mundane things.  For an instant he stared after the vanished
+vision.  Then he stepped blindly forward, tripped over something--
+"his off hind leg," so Captain Sol afterwards vowed--and fell
+sprawling, the express package beneath him.
+
+The crash of glass reached the ears of the depot master.  He broke
+away from the conductor and ran toward his prostrate "assistant."
+Pushing aside the delighted and uproarious bystanders, he forcibly
+helped the young man to rise.
+
+"What in time?" he demanded.
+
+Issy agonizingly held the package to his ear and shook it.
+
+"I--I'm afraid somethin's cracked," he faltered.
+
+The crowd set up a whoop.  Ed Crocker appeared to be in danger of
+strangling.
+
+"Cracked!" repeated Captain Sol.  "Cracked!" he smiled, in spite of
+himself.  "Yes, somethin's cracked.  It's that head of yours, Issy.
+Here, let's see!"
+
+He snatched the package from the McKay hands and inspected it.
+
+"Smashed to thunder!" he declared.  "Who's the lucky one it belongs
+to?  Humph!"  He read the inscription aloud, "Major Cuthbertson S.
+Hardee.  The Major, hey! . . .  Well, Is, you take the remains
+inside and you and I'll hold services over it later."
+
+"I--I didn't go to do it," protested the frightened Issy.
+
+"Course you didn't.  If you had you wouldn't.  You're like the
+feller in Scriptur', you leave undone the things you ought to do
+and do them that--All right, Jim!  Let her go!  Cast off!"
+
+The conductor waved his hand, the engine puffed, the bell rang, and
+the train moved onward.  For another twelve hours East Harniss was
+left marooned by the outside world.
+
+Beriah Higgins and the mail bag were already in the post office.
+Thither went the crowd to await the sorting and ultimate
+distribution.  A short, fat little man lingered and, walking up to
+the depot master, extended his hand.
+
+"Hello, Sol!" he said, smiling.  "Thought I'd stop long enough to
+say 'Howdy,' anyhow."
+
+"Why, Bailey Stitt!" cried the Captain.  "How are you?  Glad to see
+you.  Thought you was down to South Orham, takin' out seasick
+parties for the Ocean House, same kind of a job I used to have in
+Wellmouth."
+
+"I am," replied Captain Stitt.  "That is, I was.  Just now I've run
+over here to see about contractin' for a supply of clams and
+quahaugs for our boarders.  You never see such a gang to eat as
+them summer folks, in your life.  Barzilla Wingate, he says the
+same about his crowd.  He's comin' on the mornin' train from
+Wellmouth."
+
+"You don't tell me.  I ain't seen Barzilla for a long spell.  Where
+you stoppin'?  Come up to the house, won't you?"
+
+"Can't.  I'm goin' to put up over to Obed Gott's.  His sister,
+Polena Ginn, is a relation of mine by marriage.  So long!  Obed's
+gone on ahead to tell Polena to put the kettle on.  Maybe Obed and
+I'll be back again after I've had supper."
+
+"Do.  I'll be round here for two or three hours yet."
+
+He entered the depot.  Except the forlorn Issy, who sat in a
+corner, holding the express package in his lap, Simeon Phinney was
+the only person in the waiting room.
+
+"Come on now, Sol!" pleaded Sim.  "I want to hear the rest of that
+about you and Williams.  You left off in the most ticklish place
+possible, out of spite, I do believe.  I'm hangin' on to that boat
+in the breakers until I declare I believe I'm catchin' cold just
+from imagination."
+
+"Wait a minute, Sim," said the depot master.  Then he turned to his
+assistant.
+
+"Issy," he said, "this is about the nineteenth time you've done
+just this sort of thing.  You're no earthly use and I ought to give
+you your clearance papers.  But I can't, you're too--well--
+ornamental.  You've got to be punished somehow and I guess the best
+way will be to send you right up to Major Hardee's and let you give
+him the remnants.  He'll want to know how it happened, and you tell
+him the truth.  The TRUTH, understand?  If you invent any fairy
+tales out of those novels of yours I'll know it by and by and--
+well, YOU'LL know I know.  No remarks, please.  Git!"
+
+Issy hesitated, seemed about to speak, thought better of it, took
+up package and cap, and "got."
+
+"Let's see," said the Captain, sitting down in one of the station
+chairs and lighting a fresh cigar; "where was Williams and I in
+that yarn of mine?  Oh, yes, I could see land and cal'lated we was
+goin' to bump.  Well, we did.  Steerin' anyways but dead ahead was
+out of the question, and all I could do was set my teeth and trust
+in my bein' a member of the church.  The Shootin' Star hit that
+beach like she was the real article.  Overboard went oar and canvas
+and grub pails, and everything else that wa'n't nailed down,
+includin' Fatty and me.  I grabbed him by the collar and wallowed
+ashore.
+
+"'Awk! hawk!' he gasps, chokin', 'I'm drownded.'
+
+"I let him BE drownded, for the minute.  I had the launch to think
+of, and somehow or 'nother I got hold of her rodin' and hauled the
+anchor up above tide mark.  Then I attended to my passenger.
+
+"'Where are we?' he asks.
+
+"I looked around.  Close by was nothin' but beach-grass and seaweed
+and sand.  A little ways off was a clump of scrub pines and
+bayberry bushes that looked sort of familiar.  And back of them was
+a little board shanty that looked more familiar still.  I rubbed
+the salt out of my eyes.
+
+"'WELL!' says I.  'I swan to man!'
+
+"'What is it?' he says.  'Do you know where we are?  Whose house is
+that?'
+
+I looked hard at the shanty.
+
+"'Humph!' I grunted.  'I do declare!  Talk about a feller's comin'
+back to his own.  Whose shanty is that?  Well, it's mine, if you
+want to know.  The power that looks out for the lame and the lazy
+has hove us ashore on Woodchuck Island, and that's a piece of real
+estate I own.'
+
+"It sounds crazy enough, that's a fact; but it was true.  Woodchuck
+Island is a little mite of a sand heap off in the bay, two mile
+from shore and ten from the nighest town.  I'd bought it and put up
+a shanty for a gunnin' shack; took city gunners down there, once in
+a while, the fall before.  That summer I'd leased it to a friend of
+mine, name of Darius Baker, who used it while he was lobsterin'.
+The gale had driven us straight in from sea, 'way past Sandy P'int
+and on to the island.  'Twas like hittin' a nail head in a board
+fence, but we'd done it.  Shows what Providence can do when it sets
+out.
+
+"I explained some of this to Williams as we waded through the sand
+to the shanty.
+
+"'But is this Baker chap here now?' he asks.
+
+"'I'm afraid not,' says I.  'The lobster season's about over, and
+he was goin' South on a yacht this week.  Still, he wa'n't to go
+till Saturday and perhaps--'
+
+"But the shanty was empty when we got there.  I fumbled around in
+the tin matchbox and lit the kerosene lamp in the bracket on the
+wall.  Then I turned to Williams.
+
+"'Well,' says I, 'we're lucky for once in--'
+
+"Then I stopped.  When he went overboard the water had washed off
+his hat.  Likewise it had washed off his long black hair--which was
+a wig--and his head was all round and shiny and bald, like a gull's
+egg out in a rain storm."
+
+"I knew he wore a wig," interrupted Phinney.
+
+"Of course you do.  Everybody does now.  But he wa'n't such a
+prophet in Israel then as he's come to be since, and folks wa'n't
+acquainted with his personal beauties.
+
+"'What are you starin' at?' he asks.
+
+"I fetched a long breath.  'Nothin',' says I.  'Nothin'.'
+
+"But for the rest of that next ha'f hour I went around in a kind of
+daze, as if MY wig had gone and part of my head with it.  When a
+feller has been doin' a puzzle it kind of satisfies him to find out
+the answer.  And I'd done my puzzle.
+
+"I knew where I'd met Mr. Williams afore."
+
+"You did?" cried Simeon.
+
+"Um-hm.  Wait a while.  Well, Fatty went to bed, in one of the hay
+bunks, pretty soon after that.  He stripped to his underclothes and
+turned in under the patchwork comforters.  He was too beat out to
+want any supper, even if there'd been any in sight.  I built a fire
+in the rusty cook stove and dried his duds and mine.  Then I set
+down in the busted chair and begun to think.  After a spell I got
+up and took account of stock, as you might say, of the eatables in
+the shanty.  Darius had carted off his own grub and what there was
+on hand was mine, left over from the gunnin' season--a hunk of salt
+pork in the pickle tub, some corn meal in a tin pail, some musty
+white flour in another pail, a little coffee, a little sugar and
+salt, and a can of condensed milk.  I took these things out of the
+locker they was in, looked 'em over, put 'em back again and sprung
+the padlock.  Then I put the key into my pocket and went back to my
+chair to do some more thinkin'.
+
+"Next mornin' I was up early and when the banker turned out I was
+fryin' a couple of slices of the pork and had some coffee b'ilin'.
+Likewise there was a pan of johnnycake in the oven.  The wind had
+gone down consider'ble, but 'twas foggy and thick again, which was
+a pleasin' state of things for yours truly.
+
+"Williams smelt the cookin' almost afore he got his eyes open.
+
+"'Hurry up with that breakfast,' he says to me.  'I'm hungry as a
+wolf.'
+
+"I didn't say nothin' then; just went ahead with my cookin'.  He
+got into his clothes and went outdoor.  Pretty soon he comes back,
+cussin' the weather.
+
+"'See here, Mr. Williams,' says I, 'how about them orders to your
+housekeeper?  Are they straight?  Won't she have you hunted up for
+a week?'
+
+"He colored pretty red, but from what he said I made out that she
+wouldn't.  I gathered that him and the old lady wa'n't real chummy.
+She give him his grub and her services, and he give her the Old
+Harry and her wages.  She wouldn't hunt for him, not until she was
+ordered to.  She'd be only too glad to have him out of the way.
+
+"'Humph!' says I.  'Then I cal'late we'll enjoy the scenery on this
+garden spot of creation until the week's up.'
+
+"'What do you mean?' says he.
+
+"'Well,' I says, 'the launch is out of commission, unless it should
+rain gasoline, and at this time of year there ain't likely to be a
+boat within hailin' distance of this island; 'specially if the
+weather holds bad.'
+
+"He swore a blue streak, payin' partic'lar attention to the
+housekeeper for her general stupidness and to me because I'd got
+him, so he said, into this scrape.  I didn't say nothin'; set the
+table, with one plate and one cup and sasser and knife and fork,
+hauled up a chair and set down to my breakfast.  He hauled up a box
+and set down, too.
+
+"'Pass me that corn bread,' says he.  'And why didn't you fry more
+pork?'
+
+"He was reachin' out for the johnnycake, but I pulled it out of his
+way.
+
+"'Wait a minute, Mr. Williams,' says I.  'While you was snoozin'
+last night I made out a kind of manifest of the vittles aboard this
+shanty.  'Cordin' to my figgerin' here's scursely enough to last
+one husky man a week, let along two husky ones.  I paid
+consider'ble attention to your preachin' yesterday and the text
+seemed to be to look out for number one.  Now in this case I'm the
+one and I've got to look out for myself.  This is my shanty, my
+island, and my grub.  So please keep your hands off that
+johnnycake.'
+
+"For a minute or so he set still and stared at me.  Didn't seem to
+sense the situation, as you might say.  Then the red biled up in
+his face and over his bald head like a Fundy tide.
+
+"'Why, you dummed villain!' he shouts.  'Do you mean to starve me?'
+
+"'You won't starve in a week,' says I, helpin' myself to pork.  'A
+feller named Tanner, that I read about years ago, lived for forty
+days on cold water and nothin' else.  There's the pump right over
+in the corner.  It's my pump, but I'll stretch a p'int and not
+charge for it this time.'
+
+"'You--you--' he stammers, shakin' all over, he was so mad.
+'Didn't I hire you--'
+
+"'You hired me to take you out to the fishin' grounds and back,
+provided the launch was made ready by YOU.  It wa'n't ready, so
+THAT contract's busted.  And you was to furnish your extrys and I
+was to furnish mine.  Here they be and I need 'em.  It's as
+legitimate a deal as ever I see; perfect case of supply and demand--
+supply for one and demand for two.  As I said afore, I'm the one.'
+
+"'By thunder!' he growls, standin' up, 'I'll show you--'
+
+"I stood up, too.  He was fat and flabby and I was thin and wiry.
+We looked each other over.
+
+"'I wouldn't,' says I.  'You're under the doctor's care, you know.'
+
+"So he set down again, not havin' strength even to swear, and
+watched me eat my breakfast.  And I ate it slow.
+
+"'Say,' he says, finally, 'you think you're mighty smart, don't
+you.  Well, I'm It, I guess, for this time.  I suppose you'll have
+no objection to SELLIN' me a breakfast?'
+
+"'No--o,' says I, 'not a mite of objection.  I'll sell you a couple
+of slices of pork for five dollars a slice and--'
+
+"'FIVE DOLLARS a--!'  His mouth dropped open like a main hatch.
+
+"'Sartin,' I says.  'And two slabs of johnnycake at five dollars a
+slab.  And a cup of coffee at five dollars a cup.  And--'
+
+"'You're crazy!' he sputters, jumpin' up.
+
+"'Not much, I ain't.  I've been settin' at your feet larnin' high
+finance, that's all.  You don't seem to be onto the real inwardness
+of this deal.  I've got the grub market cornered, that's all.  The
+market price of necessaries is five dollars each now; it's likely
+to rise at any time, but now it's five.'
+
+"He looked at me steady for at least two more minutes.  Then he got
+up and banged out of that shanty.  A little later I see him down at
+the end of the sand spit starin' out into the fog; lookin' for a
+sail, I presume likely.
+
+"I finished my breakfast and washed up the dishes.  He come in by
+and by.  He hadn't had no dinner nor supper, you see, and the salt
+air gives most folks an almighty appetite.
+
+"'Say,' he says, 'I've been thinkin'.  It's usual in the stock and
+provision market to deal on a margin.  Suppose I pay you a one per
+cent margin now and--'
+
+"'All right,' says I, cheerful.  'Then I'll give you a slip of
+paper sayin' that you've bought such and such slices of pork and
+hunks of johnnycake and I'm carryin' 'em for you on a margin.  Of
+course there ain't no delivery of the goods now because--'
+
+"'Humph!' he interrupts, sour.  'You seem to know more'n I thought
+you did.  Now are you goin' to be decent and make me a fair price
+or ain't you?'
+
+"'Can't sell under the latest quotations,' says I.  'That's five
+now; and spot cash.'
+
+"'But hang it all!' he says, 'I haven't got money enough with me.
+Think I carry a national bank around in my clothes?'
+
+"'You carry a Wellmouth Bank check book,' says I, 'because I see it
+in your jacket pocket last night when I was dryin' your duds.  I'll
+take a check.'
+
+"He started to say somethin' and then stopped.  After a spell he
+seemed to give in all to once.
+
+"'Very good,' he says.  'You get my breakfast ready and I'll make
+out the check.'
+
+"That breakfast cost him twenty-five dollars; thirty really,
+because he added another five for an extry cup of coffee.  I told
+him to make the check payable to 'Bearer,' as 'twas quicker to
+write than 'Solomon.'
+
+"He had two more meals that day and at bedtime I had his checks
+amountin' to ninety-five dollars.  The fog stayed with us all the
+time and nobody come to pick us up.  And the next mornin's outlook
+was just as bad, bein' a drizzlin' rain and a high wind.  The
+mainland beach was in sight but that's all except salt water and
+rain.
+
+"He was surprisin'ly cheerful all that day, eatin' like a horse and
+givin' up his meal checks without a whimper.  If things had been
+different from what they was I'd have felt like a mean sneak thief.
+BEIN' as they was, I counted up the hundred and ten I'd made that
+day without a pinch of conscience.
+
+"This was a Wednesday.  On Thursday, the third day of our Robinson
+Crusoe business, the weather was still thick, though there was
+signs of clearin'.  Fatty come to me after breakfast--which cost
+him thirty-five, payable, as usual, to 'Bearer'--with almost a grin
+on his big face.
+
+"'Berry,' he says, 'I owe you an apology.  I thought you was a
+green Rube, like the rest down here, but you're as sharp as they
+make 'em.  I ain't the man to squeal when I get let in on a bad
+deal, and the chap who can work me for a sucker is entitled to all
+he can make.  But this pay-as-you-go business is too slow and
+troublesome.  What'll you take for the rest of the grub in the
+locker there, spot cash?  Be white, and make a fair price.'
+
+"I'd been expectin' somethin' like this, and I was ready for him.
+
+"'Two hundred and sixty-five dollars,' says I, prompt.
+
+"He done a little figgerin'.  'Well, allowin' that I have to put up
+on this heap of desolation for the better part of four days more,
+that's cheap, accordin' to your former rates,' he says.  'I'll go
+you.  But why not make it two fifty, even?'
+
+"'Two hundred and sixty-five's my price,' says I.  So he handed
+over another 'Bearer' check, and his board bill was paid for a
+week.
+
+"Friday was a fine day, clear as a bell.  Me and Williams had a
+real picnicky, sociable time.  Livin' outdoor this way had made him
+forget his diseases and the doctor, and he showed signs of bein'
+ha'fway decent.  We loafed around and talked and dug clams to help
+out the pork--that is, I dug 'em and Fatty superintended.  We see
+no less'n three sailin' craft go by down the bay and tried our best
+to signal 'em, but they didn't pay attention--thought we was
+gunners or somethin', I presume likely.
+
+"At breakfast on Saturday, Williams begun to ask questions again.
+
+"'Sol,' says he, 'it surprised me to find that you knew what a
+"margin" was.  You didn't get that from anything I said.  Where did
+you get it?'
+
+"I leaned back on my box seat.
+
+"'Mr. Williams,' says I, 'I cal'late I'll tell you a little story,
+if you want to hear it.  'Tain't much of a yarn, as yarns go, but
+maybe it'll interest you.  The start of it goes back to
+consider'ble many year ago, when I was poorer'n I be now, and a
+mighty sight younger.  At that time me and another feller, a
+partner of mine, had a fish weir out in the bay here.  The mackerel
+struck in and we done well, unusual well.  At the end of the
+season, not countin' what we'd spent for livin' and expenses, we
+had a balance owin' us at our fish dealer's up to Boston of five
+hundred dollars--two fifty apiece.  My partner was goin' to be
+married in the spring and was cal'latin' to use his share to buy
+furniture for the new house with.  So we decided we'd take a trip
+up to Boston and collect the money, stick it into some savin's bank
+where 'twould draw interest until spring and then haul it out and
+use it.  'Twas about every cent we had in the world.
+
+"'So to Boston we went, collected our money, got the address of a
+safe bank and started out to find it.  But on the way my partner's
+hat blowed off and the bank address, which was on a slip of paper
+inside of it, got lost.  So we see a sign on a buildin', along with
+a lot of others, that kind of suggested bankin', and so we stepped
+into the buildin' and went upstairs to ask the way again.
+
+"'The place wa'n't very big, but 'twas fixed up fancy and there was
+a kind of blackboard along the end of the room where a boy was
+markin' up figgers in chalk.  A nice, smilin' lookin' man met us
+and, when we told him what we wanted, he asked us to set down.
+Then, afore we knowed it almost, we'd told him the whole story--
+about the five hundred and all.  The feller said to hold on a spell
+and he'd go along with us and show us where the savin's bank was
+himself.
+
+"'So we waited and all the time the figgers kept goin' up on the
+board, under signs of "Pork" and "Wheat" and "Cotton" and such, and
+we'd hear how so and so's account was makin' a thousand a day, and
+the like of that.  After a while the nice man, who it turned out
+was one of the bosses of the concern, told us what it meant.
+Seemed there was a big "rise" in the market and them that bought
+now was bound to get rich quick.  Consequent we said we wished we
+could buy and get rich, too.  And the smilin' chap says, "Let's go
+have some lunch."'
+
+"Williams laughed.  'Ho, ho!' says he.  'Expensive lunch, was it?'
+
+"'Most extravagant meal of vittles ever I got away with,' I says.
+'Cost me and my partner two hundred and fifty apiece, that lunch
+did.  We stayed in Boston two days, and on the afternoon of the
+second day we was on our way back totin' a couple of neat but
+expensive slips of paper signifyin' that we'd bought December and
+May wheat on a one per cent margin.  We was a hundred ahead
+already, 'cordin' to the blackboard, and was figgerin' what sort of
+palaces we'd build when we cashed in.'
+
+"'Ain't no use preachin' a long sermon over the remains.  'Twas a
+simple funeral and nobody sent flowers.  Inside of a month we was
+cleaned out and the wheat place had gone out of business--failed,
+busted, you understand.  Our fish dealer friend asked some
+questions, and found out the shebang wa'n't a real stock dealer's
+at all.  'Twas what they call a "bucket shop," and we'd bought
+nothin' but air, and paid a commission for buyin' it.  And the
+smilin', nice man that run the swindle had been hangin' on the edge
+of bust for a long while and knowed 'twas comin'.  Our five hundred
+had helped pay his way to a healthier climate, that's all.'
+
+"'Hold on a minute,' says Fatty, lookin' more interested.  'What
+was the name of the firm that took you greenhorns in?'
+
+"''Twas the Empire Bond, Stock and Grain Exchange,' says I.  'And
+'twas on Derbyshire Street.'
+
+"He give a little jump.  Then he says, slow, Hu-u-m!  I--see.'
+
+"'Yes,' says I.  'I thought you would.  You had a mustache then and
+your name was diff'rent, but you seemed familiar just the same.
+When your false hair got washed off I knew you right away.'
+
+"He took out his pocket pen and his check book and done a little
+figgerin'.
+
+"'Humph!' he says, again.  'You lost five hundred and I've paid you
+five hundred and five.  What's the five for?'
+
+"'That's my commission on the sales,' I says.
+
+"And just then comes a hail from outside the shanty.  Out we bolted
+and there was Sam Davis, just steppin' ashore from his power boat.
+Williams's housekeeper had strained a p'int and had shaded her
+orders by a couple of days.
+
+"Williams and Sam started for home right off.  I followed in the
+Shootin' Star, havin' borrered gasoline enough for the run.  I
+reached the dock ha'f an hour after they did, and there was Fatty
+waitin' for me.
+
+"'Berry,' says he, 'I've got a word or two to say to you.  I ain't
+kickin' at your givin' me tit for tat, or tryin' to.  Turn about's
+fair play, if you can call the turn.  But it's against my
+principles to allow anybody to beat me on a business deal.  Do you
+suppose,' he says, 'that I'd have paid your robber's prices without
+a word if I hadn't had somethin' up my sleeve?  Why, man,' says he,
+'I gave you my CHECKS, not cash.  And I've just telephoned to the
+Wellmouth Bank to stop payment on those checks.  They're no earthly
+use to you; see?  There's one or two things about high finance that
+you don't know even yet.  Ho, ho!'
+
+"And he rocked back and forth on his heels and laughed.
+
+"I held up my hand.  'Wait a jiffy, Mr. Williams,' says I.  'I
+guess these checks are all right.  When we fust landed on
+Woodchuck, I judged by the looks of the shanty that Baker hadn't
+left it for good.  I cal'lated he'd be back.  And sure enough he
+come back, in his catboat, on Thursday evenin', after you'd turned
+in.  Them checks was payable to "Bearer," you remember, so I give
+'em to him.  He was to cash 'em in the fust thing Friday mornin',
+and I guess you'll find he's done it.'"
+
+"Well, I swan to MAN!" interrupted the astonished and delighted
+Phinney.  "So you had him after all!  And I was scart you'd lost
+every cent."
+
+Captain Sol chuckled.  "Yes," he went on, "I had him, and his eyes
+and mouth opened together.
+
+"'WHAT?' he bellers.  'Do you mean to say that a boat stopped at
+that dummed island and DIDN'T TAKE US OFF?'
+
+"'Oh,' says I, 'Darius didn't feel called on to take you off, not
+after I told him who you was.  You see, Mr. Williams,' I says,
+'Darius Baker was my partner in that wheat speculation I was
+tellin' you about.'
+
+The Captain drew a long breath and re-lit his cigar, which had gone
+out.  His friend pounded the settee ecstatically.
+
+"There!" he cried.  "I knew the name 'Darius Baker' wa'n't so
+strange to me.  When was you and him in partners, Sol?"
+
+"Oh, 'way back in the old days, afore I went to sea at all, and
+afore mother died.  You wouldn't remember much about it.  Mother
+and I was livin' in Trumet then and our house here was shut up.  I
+was only a kid, or not much more, and Williams was young, too."
+
+"And that's the way he made his money!  HIM!  Why, he's the most
+respected man in this neighborhood, and goes to church, and--"
+
+"Yes.  Well, if you make money ENOUGH you can always be respected--
+by some kinds of people--and find some church that'll take you in.
+Ain't that so, Bailey?"
+
+Captain Stitt and his cousin, Obed Gott, the paint dealer, were
+standing in the doorway of the station.  They now entered.
+
+"I guess it's so," replied Stitt, pulling up a chair, "though I
+don't know what you was talkin' about.  However, it's a pretty
+average safe bet that what you say is so, Sol, 'most any time.
+What's the special 'so,' this time?"
+
+"We was talkin' about Mr. Williams," began Phinney.
+
+"The Grand Panjandrum of East Harniss," broke in the depot master.
+"East Harniss is blessed with a great man, Bailey, and, like
+consider'ble many blessin's he ain't entirely unmixed."
+
+Obed and Simeon looked puzzled, but Captain Stitt bounced in his
+chair like a good-natured rubber ball.  "Ho! ho!" he chuckled, "you
+don't surprise me, Sol.  We had a great man over to South Orham
+three years ago and he begun by blessin's and ended with--with
+t'other thing.  Ho! ho!"
+
+"What do you mean?" demanded Sim.
+
+"Why, I mean Stingy Gabe.  You've heard of Stingy Gabe, ain't you?"
+
+"I guess we've all heard somethin' about him," laughed Captain Sol;
+"but we're willin' to hear more.  He was a reformer, wa'n't he?"
+
+"He sartin was!  Ho! ho!"
+
+"For the land sakes, tell it, Bailey," demanded Mr. Gott
+impatiently.  "Don't sit there bouncin' and gurglin' and gettin'
+purple in the face.  Tell it, or you'll bust tryin' to keep it in."
+
+"Oh, it's a great, long--" began Captain Bailey protestingly.
+
+"Go on," urged Phinney.  "We've got more time than anything else,
+the most of us.  Who was this Stingy Gabe?"
+
+"Yes," urged Gott, "and what did he reform?"
+
+Captain Stitt held up a compelling hand.  "It's all of a piece," he
+interrupted.  "It takes in everything, like an eatin'-house stew.
+And, as usual in them cases, the feller that ordered it didn't know
+what was comin' to him.
+
+"Stingy Gabe was that feller.  His Sunday name was Gabriel Atkinson
+Holway, and his dad used to peddle fish from Orham to Denboro and
+back.  The old man was christened Gabriel, likewise.  He owed 'most
+everybody, and, besides, was so mean that he kept the scales and
+trimmin's of the fish he sold to make chowder for himself and
+family.  All hands called him 'Stingy Gabe,' and the boy inherited
+the name along with the fifteen hundred dollars that the old man
+left when he died.  He cleared out--young Gabe did--soon as the
+will was settled and afore the outstandin' debts was, and nobody in
+this latitude see hide nor hair of him till three years ago this
+comin' spring.
+
+"Then, lo and behold you! he drops off the parlor car at the Orham
+station and cruises down to South Orham, bald-headed and bay-
+windowed, sufferin' from pomp and prosperity.  Seems he'd been
+spendin' his life cornerin' copper out West and then copperin' the
+corners in Wall Street.  The folks in his State couldn't put him in
+jail, so they sent him to Congress.  Now, as the Honorable Atkinson
+Holway, he'd come back to the Cape to rest his wrist, which had
+writer's cramp from signin' stock certificates, and to ease his
+eyes with a sight of the dear old home of his boyhood.
+
+"Bill Nickerson comes postin' down to me with the news.
+
+"'Bailey,' says he, 'what do you think's happened?  Stingy Gabe's
+struck the town.'
+
+"'For how much?' I asks, anxious.  'Don't let him have it, whatever
+'tis.'
+
+"Then he went on to explain.  Gabe was rich as all get out, and
+'twas his intention to buy back his old man's house and fix it up
+for a summer home.  He was delighted to find how little change
+there was in South Orham.
+
+"'No matter if 'tain't but fifteen cents he'll get it, if the
+s'lectmen don't watch him,' I says; and the bills, too.  I know HIS
+tribe.'
+
+"'You don't understand,' says Nickerson.  'He ain't no thief.  He's
+rich, I tell you, and he's cal'latin' to do the town good.'
+
+"'Course he is,' I says.  'It runs in the family.  His dad done it
+good, too--good as 'twas ever done, I guess.'
+
+"But next day Gabe himself happens along, and I see right off that
+I'd made a mistake in my reckonin'.  The Honorable Atkinson Holway
+wa'n't figgerin' to borrow nothin'.  When a chap has been skinnin'
+halibut, minnows are too small for him to bother with.  Gabe was
+full of fried clams and philanthropy.
+
+"'By Jove! Stitt,' he says, 'livin' here has been the dream of my
+life.'
+
+"'You'll be glad to wake up, won't you?' says I.  'I wish I could.'
+
+"'I tell you,' he says, 'this little old village is all right!  All
+it needs is a public-spirited resident to help it along.  I propose
+to be the P. S. R.'
+
+"And on that program he started right in.  Fust off he bought his
+dad's old place, built it over into the eight-sided palace that's
+there now, fetched down a small army of servants skippered by an
+old housekeeper, and commenced to live simple but complicated.
+Then, havin' provided the needful charity for himself, he's ready
+to scatter manna for the starvin' native.
+
+"He had a dozen schemes laid out.  One was to build a free but
+expensive library; another was to pave the main road with brick;
+third was to give stained-glass windows and velvet cushions to the
+meetin' house, so's the congregation could sleep comfortable in a
+subdued light.  The stained-glass idee put him in close touch with
+the minister, Reverend Edwin Fisher, and the minister suggested the
+men's club.  And he took to that men's club scheme like an old maid
+to strong tea; the rest of the improvements went into dry dock to
+refit while Admiral Gabe got his men's club off the ways.
+
+"'Twas the billiard room that made the minister hanker for a men's
+club.  That billiard room was the worry of his life.  Old man
+Jotham Gale run it and had run it sence the Concord fight, in a way
+of speakin'.  You remember his sign, maybe: 'Jotham W. Gale.
+Billiard, Pool, and Sipio Saloon.  Cigars and Tobacco.  Tonics and
+Pipes.  Minors under Ten Years of Age not Admitted.'  Jotham's
+customers was called, by the outsiders, 'the billiard-room gang.'
+
+"The billiard room gang wa'n't the best folks in town, I'll own
+right up to that.  Still, they wa'n't so turrible wicked.  Jotham
+never sold rum, and he'd never allow no rows in his place.  But,
+just the same, his saloon was reckoned a bad influence.  Young men
+hadn't ought to go there--most of us said that.  If there was a
+nicer place TO go, argues the minister, 'twould help the moral tone
+of the community consider'ble.  'Why not,' says he to Stingy Gabe,
+'start a free club for men that'll make the billiard room look like
+the tail boat in a race?'  And says Gabe: 'Bully!  I'll do it.'"
+
+Captain Stitt paused long enough to enjoy a chuckle all by himself.
+Before he had quite finished his laugh, slow and reluctant steps
+were heard on the back platform and Issy appeared on the threshold.
+He was without the package, but did not look happy.
+
+"Well, Is," inquired the depot master, "did you give the remains to
+the Major?"
+
+"Yes, sir," answered Issy.
+
+"Did you tell him how the shockin' fatality happened?  How the
+thing got broken?"
+
+"Yes, sir, I told him."
+
+"What did he say?  Didn't let his angry passions rise, did he?"
+
+"No-o; no, sir, he didn't rise nothin'.  He didn't get mad neither.
+But you could see he felt pretty bad.  Talked about 'old family
+glass' and 'priceless airloons' or some such.  Said much as he
+regretted to, he should feel it no more'n justice to have somebody
+pay damages."
+
+"Humph!" Captain Sol looked very grave.  "Issy, I can see your
+finish.  You'll have to pay for somethin' that's priceless, and how
+are you goin' to do that?  'Old family glass,' hey?  Hum!  And I
+thought I saw the label of a Boston store on that package."
+
+Obed Gott leaned forward eagerly.
+
+"Is that Major Hardee you're talkin' about?" he asked.
+
+"Yes, sir.  He's the only Major we've got.  Cap'ns are plenty as
+June bugs, but Majors and Gen'rals are scarce.  Why?"
+
+"Oh, nothin'.  Only--"  Mr. Gott muttered the remainder of the
+sentence under his breath.  However, the depot master heard it and
+his eye twinkled.
+
+"You're glad of it!" he exclaimed.  "Why, Obed!  Major Cuthbertson
+Scott Hardee!  I'm surprised.  Better not let the women folks hear
+you say that."
+
+"Look here!" cried Captain Stitt, rather tartly, "am I goin' to
+finish that yarn of mine or don't you want to hear it?"
+
+"BEG your pardon, Bailey.  Go on.  The last thing you said was what
+Stingy Gabe said, and that was--"
+
+
+CHAPTER III
+
+"STINGY GABE"
+
+
+"And that," said Captain Bailey, mollified by the renewed interest
+of his listeners, "was, 'Bully!  I'll do it!'
+
+"So he calls a meetin' of everybody interested, at his new house.
+About every respectable man in town was there, includin' me.  Most
+of the billiard-room gang was there, likewise.  Jotham, of course,
+wa'n't invited.
+
+"Gabe calls the meetin' to order and the minister makes a speech
+tellin' about the scheme.  'Our generous and public-spirited
+citizen, Honorable Atkinson Holway,' had offered to build a
+suitable clubhouse, fix it up, and donate it to the club, them and
+their heirs forever, Amen.  'Twas to belong to the members to do
+what they pleased with--no strings tied to it at all.  Dues would
+be merely nominal, a dollar a year or some such matter.  Now, who
+favored such a club as that?
+
+"Well, 'most everybody did.  Daniel Bassett, chronic politician,
+justice of the peace, and head of the 'Conservatives' at town
+meetin', he made a talk, and in comes him and his crew.  Gaius
+Ellis, another chronic, who is postmaster and skipper of the
+'Progressives,' had been fidgetin' in his seat, and now up he bobs
+and says he's for it; then every 'Progressive' jines immediate.
+But the billiard-roomers; they didn't jine.  They looked sort of
+sheepish, and set still.  When Mr. Fisher begun to hint p'inted in
+their direction, they got up and slid outdoor.  And right then I'd
+ought to have smelt trouble, but I didn't; had a cold in my head, I
+guess likely.
+
+"Next thing was to build the new clubhouse, and Gabe went at it
+hammer and tongs.  He had a big passel of carpenters down from the
+city, and inside of three months the buildin' was up, and she was a
+daisy, now I tell you.  There was a readin' room and a meetin' room
+and an 'amusement room.'  The amusements was crokinole and parchesi
+and checkers and the like of that.  Also there was a gymnasium and
+a place where you could play the pianner and sing--till the
+sufferin' got acute and somebody come along and abated you.
+
+"When I fust went inside that clubhouse I see 'twas bound to be
+'Good-by, Bill,' for Jotham.  His customers would shake his ratty
+old shanty for sartin, soon's they see them elegant new rooms.  I
+swan, if I didn't feel sorry for the old reprobate, and, thinks I,
+I'll drop around and sympathize a little.  Sympathy don't cost
+nothin', and Jotham's pretty good company.
+
+"I found him settin' alongside the peanut roaster, watchin' a
+couple of patients cruelize the pool table.
+
+"'Hello, Bailey!' says he.  'You surprise me.  Ain't you 'fraid of
+catchin' somethin' in this ha'nt of sin?  Have a chair, anyhow.
+And a cigar, won't you?'
+
+"I took the chair, but I steered off from the cigar, havin' had
+experience.  Told him I guessed I'd use my pipe.  He chuckled.
+
+"'Fur be it from me to find fault with your judgment,' he says.
+'Terbacker does smoke better'n anything else, don't it.'
+
+"We set there and puffed for five minutes or so.  Then he sort of
+jumped.
+
+"'What's up?' says I.
+
+"'Oh, nothin'!' he says.  'Bije Simmons got a ball in the pocket,
+that's all.  Don't do that too often, Bije; I got a weak heart.
+Well, Bailey,' he adds, turnin' to me, 'Gabe's club's fixed up
+pretty fine, ain't it?'
+
+"'Why, yes,' I says; ''tis.'
+
+"'Finest ever I see,' says he.  'I told him so when I was in
+there.'
+
+"'What?' says I.  'You don't mean to say YOU'VE been in that
+clubroom?'
+
+"'Sartin.  Why not?  I want to take in all the shows there is--
+'specially the free ones.  Make a good billiard room, that
+clubhouse would.'
+
+"I whistled.  'Whew!' says I.  'Didn't tell Gabe THAT, did you?'
+
+"He nodded.  'Yup,' says he.  'I told him.'
+
+"I whistled again.  'What answer did he make?' I asked.
+
+"'Oh, he wa'n't enthusiastic.  Seemed to cal'late I'd better shut
+up my head and my shop along with it, afore he knocked off one and
+his club knocked out t'other.'
+
+"I pitied the old rascal; I couldn't help it.
+
+"'Jotham,' says I, 'I ain't the wust friend you've got in South
+Orham, even if I don't play pool much.  If I was you I'd clear out
+of here and start somewheres else.  You can't fight all the best
+folks in town.'
+
+"He didn't make no answer.  Just kept on a-puffin'.  I got up to
+go.  Then he laid his hand on my sleeve.
+
+"'Bailey,' says he, 'when Betsy Mayo was ailin', her sister's tribe
+was all for the Faith Cure and her husband's relations was high for
+patent medicine.  When the Faith Curists got to workin', in would
+come some of the patent mediciners and give 'em the bounce.  And
+when THEY went home for the night, the Faithers would smash all the
+bottles.  Finally they got so busy fightin' 'mong themselves that
+Betsy see she was gettin' no better fast, and sent for the reg'lar
+doctor.  HE done the curin', and got the pay.'
+
+"'Well,' says I, 'what of it?'
+
+"'Nothin',' says he.  'Only I've been practisin' a considerable
+spell.  So long.  Come in again some time when it's dark and the
+respectable element can't see you.'
+
+"I went away thinkin' hard.  And next mornin' I hunted up Gabe, and
+says I:
+
+"'Mr. Holway,' I says, 'what puzzles me is how you're goin' to
+elect the officers for the new club.  Put up a Conservative and the
+Progressives resign.  H'ist the Progressive ensign and the
+Conservatives'll mutiny.  As for the billiard-roomers--providin'
+any jine--they've never been known to vote for anybody but
+themselves.  I can't see no light yet--nothin' but fog.'
+
+"He winks, sly and profound.  'That's all right,' says he.  'Fisher
+and I have planned that.  You watch!'
+
+"Sure enough, they had.  The minister was mighty popular, so, when
+'twas out that he was candidate to be fust president of the club,
+all hands was satisfied.  Two vice presidents was named--one bein'
+Bassett and t'other Ellis.  Secretary was a leadin' Conservative;
+treasurer a head Progressive.  Officers and crew was happy and
+mutiny sunk ten fathoms.  ONLY none of the billiard-room gang had
+jined, and they was the fish we was really tryin' for.
+
+"'Twas next March afore one of 'em did come into the net, though
+we'd have on all kinds of bait--suppers and free ice cream Saturday
+nights, and the like of that.  And meantime things had been
+happenin'.
+
+"The fust thing of importance was Gabe's leavin' town.  Our Cape
+winter weather was what fixed him.  He stood the no'theasters and
+Scotch drizzles till January, and then he heads for Key West and
+comfort.  Said his heart still beat warm for his native village,
+but his feet was froze--or words similar.  He cal'lated to be back
+in the spring.  Then the Reverend Fisher got a call to somewheres
+in York State, and felt he couldn't afford not to hear it.  Nobody
+blamed him; the salary paid a minister in South Orham is enough to
+make any feller buy patent ear drums.  But that left our men's club
+without either skipper or pilot, as you might say.
+
+"One week after the farewell sermon, Daniel Bassett drops in casual
+on me.  He was passin' around smoking material lavish and
+regardless.
+
+"'Stitt,' says he, 'you've always voted for Conservatism in our
+local affairs, haven't you?'
+
+"'Well,' says I, 'I didn't vote to roof the town hall with a new
+mortgage, if that's what you mean.'
+
+"'Exactly,' he says.  'Now, our men's club, while not as yet the
+success we hoped for, has come to be a power for good in our
+community.  It needs for its president a conservative, thoughtful
+man.  Bailey,' he says, 'it has come to my ears that Gaius Ellis
+intends to run for that office.  You know him.  As a taxpayer, as a
+sober, thoughtful citizen, my gorge rises at such insolence.  I
+protest, sir!  I protest against--'
+
+"He was standin' up, makin' gestures with both arms, and he had his
+town-meetin' voice iled and runnin'.  I was too busy to hanker for
+a stump speech, so I cut across his bows.
+
+"'All right, all right,' says I.  'I'll vote for you, Dan.'
+
+"He fetched a long breath.  'Thank you,' says he.  'Thank you.
+That makes ten.  Ellis can count on no more than nine.  My election
+is assured.'
+
+"Seein' that there wa'n't but nineteen reg'lar voters who come to
+the club meetin's, if Bassett had ten of 'em it sartin did look as
+if he'd get in.  But on election night what does Gaius Ellis do but
+send a wagon after old man Solomon Peavey, who'd been dry docked
+with rheumatiz for three months, and Sol's vote evened her up.
+'Twas ten to ten, a deadlock, and the election was postponed for
+another week.
+
+"This was of a Tuesday.  On Wednesday I met Bije Simmons, the chap
+who was playin' pool at Jotham's.
+
+"'Hey, Bailey!' says he.  'Shake hands with a brother.  I'm goin'
+to jine the men's club.'
+
+"'You BE?' says I, surprised enough, for Simmons was a billiard-
+roomer from 'way back.
+
+"'Yup,' he says.  'I'll be voted in at next meetin', sure.  I'm
+studyin' up on parchesi now.'
+
+"'Hum!' I says, thinkin'.  'How you goin to vote?'
+
+"'Me?' says he.  'Me?  Why, man, I wonder at you!  Can't you see
+the fires of Conservatism blazin' in my eyes?  I'm Conservative
+bred and Conservative born, and when I'm dead there'll be a
+Conservative gone.  By, by.  See you Tuesday night.'
+
+"He went off, stoppin' everybody he met to tell 'em the news.  And
+on Thursday Ed Barnes dropped in to pay me the seventy-five cents
+he'd borrowed two years ago come Fourth of July.  When I'd got over
+the fust shock and had counted the money three times, I commenced
+to ask questions.
+
+"'Somebody die and will you a million, Ed?' I wanted to know.
+
+"'No,' says he.  'It's the reward of virtue.  I'm goin' to be a
+better man.  I'm jinin' the men's club.'
+
+"'NO!' says I, for Ed was as strong a billiard-roomer as Bije.
+
+"'Sure!' he answers.  'I'm filled full of desires for crokinole and
+progressiveness.  See you Tuesday night at the meetin'.'
+
+"And, would you b'lieve it, at that meetin' no less'n six confirmed
+members of the billiard-room gang was voted into the men's club.
+'Twas a hallelujah gatherin'.  I couldn't help thinkin' how glad
+and proud Gabe and Mr. Fisher would have been to see their dreams
+comin' true.  But Bassett and Ellis looked more worried than glad,
+and when the votin' took place I understood the reason.  Them new
+members had divided even, and the ballots stood Bassett thirteen
+and Ellis thirteen.  The tie was still on and the election was put
+off for another week.
+
+"In that week, surprisin' as it may seem, two more billiard-roomers
+seen a light and jined with us.  However, one was for Bassett and
+t'other for Ellis, so the deadlock wa'n't broken.  Jotham had only
+a couple of his reg'lars left, and I swan to man if THEY didn't
+catch the disease inside of the follerin' fortni't and hand in
+their names.  The 'Billiard, Pool, and Sipio Saloon,' from bein'
+the liveliest place in town, was now the deadest.  Through the
+window you could see poor Jotham mopin' lonesome among his peanuts
+and cigars.  The sayin' concernin' the hardness of the
+transgressor's sleddin' was workin' out for HIM, all right.  But
+the conversions had come so sudden that I couldn't understand it,
+though I did have some suspicions.
+
+"'Look here, Dan,' says I to Bassett, 'are you goin' to keep this
+up till judgment?  There ain't but thirty votin' names in this
+place--except the chaps off fishin', and they won't be back till
+fall.  Fifteen is for you and fifteen for Gaius.  Most astonishin'
+agreement of difference ever I see.  We'll never have a president,
+at this rate.'
+
+"He winked.  'Won't, hey?' he says.  'Sure you've counted right?  I
+make it thirty-one.'
+
+"'I don't see how,' says I, puzzled.  'Nobody's left outside the
+club but Jotham himself, and he--'
+
+"'That's all right,' he interrupts, winkin' again.  'You be on hand
+next Tuesday night.  You can't always tell, maybe somethin'll
+happen.'
+
+"I was on hand, all right, and somethin' did happen, two
+somethin's, in fact.  We hadn't much more'n got in our seats afore
+the door opened, and in walked Gaius Ellis, arm in arm with a man;
+and the man was the Honorable Stingy Gabe Atkinson Holway.
+
+"'Gentlemen,' sings out Gaius, bubblin' over with joy, 'I propose
+three cheers for our founder, who has returned to us after his long
+absence.'
+
+"We give the cheers--that is, some of the folks did.  Bassett and
+our gang wa'n't cheerin' much; they looked as if somebody had
+passed 'em a counterfeit note.  You see, Gabe Holway was one of the
+hide-boundest Progressives afloat, and a blind man could see who'd
+got him back again and which way he'd vote.  It sartinly looked bad
+for Bassett now.
+
+"Gaius proposes that, out of compliment, as founder of the club,
+Mr. Holway be asked to preside.  So he was asked, though the
+Conservatives wa'n't very enthusiastic.  Gabe took the chair,
+preached a little sermon about bein' glad to see his native home
+once more, and raps for order.
+
+"'If there's no other business afore the meetin',' says he, 'we
+will proceed to ballot for president.'
+
+"But it turned out that there was other business.  Dan Bassett riz
+to his feet and commenced one of the most feelin' addresses ever I
+listened to.
+
+"Fust he congratulated all hands upon the success of Mr. Holway's
+philanthropic scheme for the betterment of South Orham's male
+citizens.  Jeered at at fust by the unregenerate, it had gone on,
+winnin' its way into the hearts of the people, until one by one the
+said unregenerate had regenerated, and now the club numbered thirty
+souls and the Honorable Atkinson.
+
+"'But,' says Dan, wavin' his arms, 'one man yet remains outside.
+One lone man!  The chief sinner, you say?  Yes, I admit it.  But,
+gentlemen, a repentant sinner.  Alone he sits amid the wreck of his
+business--a business wrecked by us, gentlemen--without a customer,
+without a friend.  Shall it be said that the free and open-handed
+men's club of South Orham turned its back upon one man, merely
+because he HAS been what he was?  Gentlemen, I have talked with
+Jotham Gale; he is old, he is friendless, he no longer has a means
+of livelihood--we have taken it from him.  We have turned his
+followers' steps to better paths.  Shall we not turn his, also?
+Gentlemen and friends, Jotham Gale is repentant, he feels his
+ostrichism'--whatever he meant by that--'he desires to become self-
+respecting, and he asks us to help him.  He wishes to join this
+club.  Gentlemen, I propose for membership in our association the
+name of Jotham W. Gale.'
+
+"He set down and mopped his face.  And the powwow that broke loose
+was somethin' tremendous.  Of course 'twas plain enough what Dan's
+game was.  This was the 'somethin'' that was goin' to happen.
+
+"Ellis see the way the land lay, and he bounces up to protest.
+'Twas an outrage; a scandal; ridiculous; and so forth, and so on.
+Poor Gabe didn't know what to do, and so he didn't do nothin'.  A
+head Conservative seconds Jotham's nomination.  'Twas put to a vote
+and carried easy.  Dan's speech had had its effect and a good many
+folks voted out of sympathy.  How did I vote?  I'LL never tell you.
+
+"And then Bassett gets up, smilin', goes to the outside door, opens
+it, and leads in the new member.  He'd been waitin' on the steps,
+it turned out.  Jotham looked mighty quiet and meek.  I pitied the
+poor old codger more'n ever.  Snaked in, he was, out of the wet,
+like a yeller dog, by the club that had kicked him out of his own
+shop.
+
+"Chairman Gabe pounds for order, and suggests that the votin' can
+go on.  But Ellis jumps up, and says he:
+
+"'What's the sense of votin' now?' he asks sarcastic.  'Will the
+lost lamb we've just yanked into the fold have the face to stand up
+and bleat that he hasn't promised to vote Conservative?  Dan
+Bassett, of all the contemptible tricks that ever--'
+
+"Bassett's face was redder'n a ripe tomatter.  He shakes his fist
+in Gaius's face and yells opinions and comments.
+
+"'Don't you talk to me about tricks, you ward-heeler!' he hollers.
+'Why did you fetch Mr. Holway back home?  Why did you, hey?  That
+was the trickiest trick that I--'
+
+"Gabe pretty nigh broke his mallet thumpin'.
+
+"'Gentlemen! gentlemen!' says he.  'This is most unseemly.  Sit
+down, if you PLEASE.  Mr. Ellis, when the purpose of this
+association is considered, it seems to me very wrong to find fault
+because the chief of our former antagonists has seen the error of
+his ways and become one of us.  Mr. Bassett, I do not understand
+your intimation concernin' myself.  I shall adjourn this meetin'
+until next Friday evenin', gentlemen.  Meanwhile, let us remember
+that we ARE gentlemen.'
+
+"He thumped the desk once, and parades out of the buildin',
+dignified as Julius Caesar.  The rest of us toddled along after
+him, all talkin' at once.  Bassett and Ellis glowered at each other
+and hove out hints about what would happen afore they got through.
+'Twas half-past ten afore I got to bed that night, and Sarah J.--
+that's Mrs. Stitt--kept me awake another hour explainin' whys and
+wherefores.
+
+"For the next three days nobody done anything but knock off work
+and talk club politics.  You'd see 'em on the corners and in the
+post office and camped on the meetin'-house steps, arguin' and
+jawin'.  Dan and Gaius was hurryin' around, moppin' their foreheads
+and lookin' worried.  On Thursday there was all sorts of rumors
+afloat.  Finally they all simmered down to one, and that one was
+what made me stop Stingy Gabe on the street and ask for my
+bearin's.
+
+"'Mr. Holway,' says I, 'is it true that Dan and Gaius have resigned
+and agreed to vote for somebody else?'
+
+"He nodded, grand and complacent.
+
+"'Then who's the somebody?' says I.  'For the land sakes! tell me.
+It's as big a miracle as the prodigal son.'
+
+"I remember now that the prodigal son ain't a miracle, but I was
+excited then.
+
+"'Stitt,' says he, 'I am the "somebody," as you call it.  I have
+decided to let my own wishes and inclinations count for nothin' in
+this affair, and to accept the office of president myself.  It will
+be announced at the meetin'.'
+
+"I whistled.  'By gum!' says I.  'You've got a great head, Mr.
+Holway, and I give you public credit for it.  It's the only course
+that ain't full of breakers.  Did you think of it yourself?'
+
+"He colored up a little.  'Why, no, not exactly,' he says.  'The
+fact is, the credit belongs to our new member, Mr. Gale.'
+
+"'To JOTHAM?' says I, astonished.
+
+"'Yes.  He suggested my candidacy, as a compromise.  Said that he,
+for one, would be proud to vote for me.  Mr. Gale seems thoroughly
+repentant, a changed man.  I am counting on him for great things in
+the future.'
+
+"So the fuss seemed settled, thanks to the last person on earth
+you'd expect would be peacemaker.  But that afternoon I met Darius
+Tompkins, Bassett's right-hand man.
+
+"'Bailey,' says he, 'you're a Conservative, ain't you?  You're for
+Dan through thick and thin?'
+
+"'Why!' says I, 'I understand Dan and Gaius are both out of it now,
+and it's settled on Holway.  Dan's promised to vote for him.'
+
+"'HE has,' says Tompkins, with a wink, 'but the rest of us ain't.
+We pledged our votes to Dan Bassett, and we ain't the kind to go
+back on our word.  Dan himself'll vote for Gabe; so'll Gaius and
+his reg'lar tribe.  That'll make twelve, countin' Holway's own.'
+
+"'Make seventeen, you mean,' says I.  'Gaius and his crowd's
+fifteen and Dan's sixteen and Gabe's seven--'
+
+"He winked again, and interrupted me.  'You're countin' wrong, my
+boy,' says he.  'Five of Gaius's folks come from the old billiard-
+room gang.  Just suppose somethin' happened to make that five vote,
+on the quiet, for Bassett.  Then--'
+
+"A customer come in then, and Tompkins had to leave; but afore he
+went he got me to one side and whispers:
+
+"'Keep mum, old man, and vote straight for Dan.  We'll show old
+Holway that we can't be led around by the nose.'
+
+"'Tompkins,' says I, 'I know your head well enough to be sartin
+that it didn't work this out by itself.  And why are you so sure of
+the billiard roomers?  Who put you up to this?'
+
+"He rapped the side of his nose.  'The smartest politician in this
+town,' says he, 'and the oldest--J. W. Gale, Esq.!  S-s-sh-h!
+Don't say nothin'.'
+
+"I didn't say nothin'.  I was past talk.  And that evenin' as I
+went past the billiard room on my way home, who should come out of
+it but Gaius Ellis, and HE looked as happy as Tompkins had.
+
+"Friday night that clubroom was filled.  Every member was there,
+and most of 'em had fetched their wives and families along to see
+the fun.  There was whisperin' and secrecy everywheres.  Honorable
+Gabe took the chair and makes announcements that the shebang is
+open for business.
+
+"Up gets Dave Bassett and all but sheds tears.  He says that he
+made up his mind to vote, not for himself, but for the founder and
+patron of the club, the Honorable Atkinson Holway.  He spread it
+over Gabe thick as sugar on a youngster's cake.  And when he set
+down all hands applauded like fury.  But I noticed that he hadn't
+spoke for nary Conservative but himself.
+
+"Then Gaius Ellis rises and sobs similar.  He's stopped votin' for
+himself, too.  His ballot is for that grand and good man, Gabriel
+Atkinson Holway, Esq.  More applause and hurrahs.
+
+"And then who should get up but Jotham Gale.  He talks humble, like
+a has-been that knows he's a back number, but he says it's his
+privilege to cast his fust vote in that club for Mr. Holway, South
+Orham's pride.  Nobody was expectin' him to say anything, and the
+cheers pretty nigh broke the winders.
+
+"Gabe was turrible affected by the soft soap, you could see that.
+He fairly sobbed as he sprinkled gratitude and acceptances.  When
+the agony was over, he says the votin' can begin.
+
+"I cal'lated he expected somebody'd move to make it unanimous, but
+they didn't.  So the blank ballots was handed around, and the
+pencils got busy.  Gabe app'ints three tellers, Bassett and Ellis,
+of course, for two--and the third, Jotham Gale.
+
+"'As a compliment to our newest member,' says the chairman, smilin'
+philanthropic.
+
+"When the votes was in the hat, the tellers retired to the
+amusement room to count up.  It took a long time.  I see the
+Conservatives and Progressives nudgin' each other and winkin' back
+and forth.  Five minutes, then ten, then fifteen.
+
+"And all of a sudden the biggest row bu'st loose in that amusement
+room that ever you heard.  Rattlety--bang!  Biff!  Smash!  The door
+flew open, and in rolled Bassett and Ellis, all legs and arms.
+Gabe and some of the rest hauled 'em apart and held 'em so, but the
+language them two hove at each other was enough to bring down a
+judgment.
+
+"'Gentlemen! gentlemen!' hollers poor Gabe.  'What in the world?  I
+am astounded! I--'
+
+"'You miserable traitor!' shrieks Gaius, wavin' a fist at Dan.
+
+"'You low-down hound!' whoops Dan back at him.
+
+"'Silence!' bellers Gabe, poundin' thunder storms on the desk.
+'Will some one explain why these maniacs are--  Ah, Mr. Gale--thank
+goodness, YOU at least are sane!'
+
+"Jotham walks to the front of the platform.  He was holdin' the hat
+and a slip of paper with the result set down on it.
+
+"'Ladies and feller members,' says he, 'there's been some
+surprisin' votin' done in this election.  Things ain't gone as we
+cal'lated they would, somehow.  Mr. Holway, your election wa'n't
+unanimous, after all.'
+
+"The way he said it made most everybody think Gabe was elected,
+anyhow, and I guess Holway thought so himself, for he smiled
+forgivin' and says:
+
+"'Never mind, Mr. Gale,' says he.  'A unanimous vote was perhaps
+too much to expect.  Go on.'
+
+"'Yes,' says Jotham.  'Well, here's the way it stands.  I'll read
+it to you.'
+
+"He fixes his specs and reads like this:
+
+"'Number of votes cast, 32.'
+
+"'Honorable Atkinson Holway has 4.'
+
+"'WHAT?' gasps Stingy Gabe, fallin' into his chair.
+
+"'Yes, sir,' says Jotham.  'It's a shame, I know, but it looks as
+nobody voted for you, Mr. Holway, but yourself and me and Dan and
+Gaius.  To proceed:
+
+"'Daniel Bassett has 9.'
+
+"The Conservatives and their women folks fairly groaned out loud.
+Tompkins jumped to his feet, but Jotham held up a hand.
+
+"'Just a moment, D'rius,' he says.  'I ain't through yet.'
+
+"'Gaius Ellis has 9.'
+
+"Then 'twas the Progressives' turn to groan.  The racket and hubbub
+was gettin' louder all the time.
+
+"'There's ten votes left,' goes on Jotham, 'and they bear the name
+of Jotham W. Gale.  I can't understand it, but it does appear that
+I'm elected president of this 'ere club.  Gentlemen, I thank you
+for the honor, which is as great as 'tis unexpected.'
+
+"Gabe and the Progressives and the Conservatives set and looked at
+each other.  And up jumps 'Bije Simmons, and calls for three cheers
+for the new president.
+
+"Nobody jined in them cheers but the old billiard room gang; they
+did, though, every one of 'em, and Jotham smiled fatherly down on
+his flock.
+
+"I s'pose there ain't no need of explainin'.  Jotham had worked it
+all, from the very fust.  When the tie business begun and Gaius and
+Dan was bribin' the billiard roomers to jine the club, 'twas him
+that fixed how they should vote so's to keep the deadlock goin'.
+'Twas him that put Bassett up to proposin' him as a member.  'Twas
+him that suggested Gabe's comin' back to Gaius.  'Twas him that--
+But what's the use?  'Twas him all along.  He was IT.
+
+"That night everybody but the billiard-room gang sent in their
+resignation to that club.  We refused to be bossed by such people.
+Gabe resigned, too.  He was disgusted with East Harniss and all
+hands in it.  He'd have took back the clubhouse, but he couldn't,
+as the deed of gift was free and clear.  But he swore he'd never
+give it another cent.
+
+"Folks thought that would end the thing, because it wouldn't be
+self-supportin', but Jotham had different idees.  He simply moved
+his pool tables and truck up from the old shop, and now he's got
+the finest place of the kind on the Cape, rent free.
+
+"'I told you 'twould make a good billiard saloon, didn't I,
+Bailey?' he says, chucklin'.
+
+"'Jotham,' says I, 'of your kind you're a perfect wonder.'
+
+"'Well,' says he, 'I diagnosed that men's club as sufferin' from
+acute politics.  I've been doctorin' that disease for a long time.
+The trouble with you reformers,' he adds, solemn, 'is that, when it
+comes to political doin's, you ain't practical.'
+
+"As for Stingy Gabe, he shut up his fine house and moved to New
+York.  Said he was through with helpin' the moral tone.
+
+"'When I die,' he says to me, 'if I go to the bad place I may start
+in reformin' that.  It don't need it no more'n South Orham does,
+but 'twill be enough sight easier job.'
+
+"And," concluded Captain Stitt, as soon as he could be heard above
+the "Haw! haws!" caused by the Honorable Holway's final summing-up
+of his native town, "I ain't so sure that he was greatly mistook.
+What do you think, Sol?"
+
+The depot master shook his head.  "Don't know, Bailey," he
+answered, dryly.  "I'll have to visit both places 'fore I give an
+opinion.  I HAVE been to South Orham, but the neighborhood that
+your friend Gabe compared it to I ain't seen--yet.  I put on that
+'yet,'" he added, with a wink, "'cause I knew Sim Phinney would if
+I didn't."
+
+Captain Bailey rose and covered a yawn with a plump hand.
+
+"I believe I'll go over to Obed's and turn in," he said.  "I'm
+sleepy as a minister's horse tonight.  You don't mind, do you,
+Obed?"
+
+"No-o," replied Mr. Gott, slowly.  "No, I don't, 'special.  I kind
+of thought I'd run into the club a few minutes and see some of the
+other fellers.  But it ain't important--not very."
+
+The "club" was one of the rooms over Mr. Higgins's store and post
+office.  It had been recently fitted up with chairs and tables from
+its members' garrets and, when the depot and store were closed, was
+a favorite gathering place of those reckless ones who cared to "set
+up late"--that is, until eleven o'clock.  Most of the men in town
+belonged, but many, Captain Berry among them, visited the room but
+seldom.
+
+"Checkers," said the depot master, referring to the "club's"
+favorite game, "is too deliberately excitin' for me.  To watch
+Beriah Higgins and Ezra Weeks fightin' out a game of checkers is
+like gettin' your feet froze in January and waitin' for spring to
+come and thaw 'em out.  It's a numbin' kind of dissipation."
+
+But Obed Gott was a regular attendant at the "club," and to-night
+he had a particular reason for wishing to be there.  His cousin
+noticed his hesitation and made haste to relieve his mind.
+
+"That's all right, Obed," he said, "go to the club, by all means.
+I ain't such a stranger at your house that I can't find my way to
+bed without help.  Good-night, Sim.  Good-night, Issy.  Cheer up;
+maybe the Major's glassware IS priceless.  So long, Cap'n Sol.  See
+you again some time tomorrer."
+
+He and Mr. Gott departed.  The depot master rose from his chair.
+"Issy," he commanded, "shut up shop."
+
+Issy obeyed, closing the windows and locking the front door.
+Captain Sol himself locked the ticket case and put the cash till
+into the small safe.
+
+"That'll do, Is," said the Captain.  "Good-night.  Don't worry too
+much over the Major's glass.  I'll talk with him, myself.  You
+dream about pleasanter things--your girl, if you've got one."
+
+That was a chance shot, but it struck Issy in the heart.  Even
+during his melancholy progress to and from Major Hardee's, the
+vision of Gertie Higgins had danced before his greenish-blue eyes.
+His freckles were engulfed in a surge of blushes as, with a
+stammered "Night, Cap'n Berry," he hurried out into the moonlight.
+
+The depot master blew out the lamps.  "Come on, Sim," he said,
+briefly.  "Goin' to walk up with me, or was YOU goin' to the club?"
+
+"Cal'late I'll trot along with you, if you don't mind.  I'd just as
+soon get home early and wrastle with the figures on that Williams
+movin' job."
+
+They left the depot, locked and dark, passed the "general store,"
+where Mr. Higgins was putting out his lights prior to adjournment
+to the "club" overhead, walked up Main Street to Cross Street,
+turned and began climbing the hill.  Simeon spoke several times but
+his friend did not answer.  A sudden change had come over him.  The
+good spirits with which he told of his adventure with Williams and
+which had remained during Phinney's stay at the depot, were gone,
+apparently.  His face, in the moonlight, was grave and he strode
+on, his hands in his pockets.
+
+At the crest of the hill he stopped.
+
+"Good-night, Sim," he said, shortly, and, turning, walked off.
+
+The building mover gazed after him in surprise.  The nearest way to
+the Berry home was straight down Cross Street, on the other side of
+the hill, to the Shore Road, and thence along that road for an
+eighth of a mile.  The Captain's usual course was just that.  But
+to-night he had taken the long route, the Hill Boulevard, which
+made a wide curve before it descended to the road below.
+
+Sim, who had had a shrewd suspicion concerning his friend's silence
+and evident mental disturbance, stood still, looking and wondering.
+Olive Edwards, Captain Berry's old sweetheart, lived on the
+Boulevard.  She was in trouble and the Captain knew it.  He had
+asked, that very evening, what she was going to do when forced to
+move.  Phinney could not tell him.  Had he gone to find out for
+himself?  Was the mountain at last coming to Mohammed?
+
+For some minutes Simeon remained where he was, thinking and
+surmising.  Then he, too, turned and walked cautiously up the
+Boulevard.  He passed the Williams mansion, its library windows
+ablaze.  He passed the twenty-five room "cottage" of the gentleman
+from Chicago.  Then he halted.  Opposite him was the little Edwards
+dwelling and shop.  The curtains were up and there was a lamp
+burning on the small counter.  Beside the lamp, in a rocking chair,
+sat Olive Edwards, the widow, sewing.  As he gazed she dropped the
+sewing in her lap, and raised her head.
+
+Phinney saw how worn and sad she looked.  And yet, how young,
+considering her forty years and all she had endured and must
+endure.  She put her hand over her eyes, then removed it wearily.
+A lump came in Simeon's throat.  If he might only help her; if SOME
+ONE might help her in her lonely misery.
+
+And then, from where he stood in the shadow of the Chicago
+gentleman's hedge, he saw a figure step from the shadows fifty feet
+farther on.  It was Captain Solomon Berry.  He walked to the middle
+of the road and halted, looking in at Olive.  Phinney's heart gave
+a jump.  Was the Captain going into that house, going to HER, after
+all these years?  WAS the mountain--
+
+But no.  For a full minute the depot master stood, looking in at
+the woman by the lamp.  Then he jammed his hands into his pockets,
+wheeled, and tramped rapidly off toward his home.  Simeon Phinney
+went home, also, but it was with a heavy heart that he sat down to
+figure the cost of moving the Williams "pure Colonial" to its
+destined location.
+
+
+CHAPTER IV
+
+THE MAJOR
+
+
+The depot master and his friend, Mr. Phinney, were not the only
+ones whose souls were troubled that evening.  Obed Gott, as he
+stood at the foot of the stairs leading to the meeting place of the
+"club," was vexed and worried.  His cousin, Captain Stitt, had gone
+into the house and up to his room, and Obed, after seeing him
+safely on his way, had returned to the club.  But, instead of
+entering immediately, he stood in the Higgins doorway, thinking,
+and frowning as he thought.  And the subject of his thought was the
+idol of feminine East Harniss, the "old-school gentleman," Major
+Cuthbertson Scott Hardee.
+
+The Major first came to East Harniss one balmy morning in March--
+came, and created an immediate sensation.  "Redny" Blount, who
+drives the "depot wagon," was wrestling with a sample trunk
+belonging to the traveling representative of Messrs. Braid & Gimp,
+of Boston, when he heard a voice--and such a voice--saying:
+
+"Pardon me, my dear sir, but may I trouble you for one moment?"
+
+Now "Redny" was not used to being addressed as "my dear sir."  He
+turned wonderingly, and saw the Major, in all his glory, standing
+beside him.  "Redny's" gaze took in the tall, slim figure in the
+frock coat tightly buttoned; took in the white hair, worn just long
+enough to touch the collar of the frock coat; the long, drooping
+white mustache and imperial; the old-fashioned stock and open
+collar; the black and white checked trousers; the gaiters; and,
+last of all, the flat brimmed, carefully brushed, old-fashioned
+silk hat.  Mr. Blount gasped.
+
+"Huh?" he said.
+
+"Pardon me, my dear sir," repeated the Major, blandly, smoothly,
+and with an air of--well, not condescension, but gracious
+familiarity.  "Will you be so extremely kind as to inform me
+concerning the most direct route to the hotel or boarding house?"
+
+The word "hotel" was the only part of this speech that struck home
+to "Redny's" awed mind.
+
+"Hotel?" he repeated, slowly.  "Why, yes, sir.  I'm goin' right
+that way.  If you'll git right into my barge I'll fetch you there
+in ten minutes."
+
+There was enough in this reply, and the manner in which it was
+delivered, to have furnished the station idlers, in the ordinary
+course of events, with matter for gossip and discussion for a week.
+Mr. Blount had not addressed a person as "sir" since he went to
+school.  But no one thought of this; all were too much overcome by
+the splendor of the Major's presence.
+
+"Thank you," replied the Major.  "Thank you.  I am obliged to you,
+sir.  Augustus, you may place the baggage in this gentleman's
+conveyance."
+
+Augustus was an elderly negro, very black as to face and a trifle
+shabby as to clothes, but with a shadow of his master's gentility,
+like a reflected luster, pervading his person.  He bowed low,
+departed, and returned dragging a large, old style trunk, and
+carrying a plump valise.
+
+"Augustus," said the Major, "you may sit upon the seat with the
+driver.  That is," he added, courteously, "if Mr.--Mr.--"
+
+"Blount," prompted the gratified "Redny."
+
+"If Mr. Blount will be good enough to permit you to do so."
+
+"Why, sartin.  Jump right up.  Giddap, you!"
+
+There was but one passenger, besides the Major and Augustus, in the
+"depot wagon" that morning.  This passenger was Mrs. Polena Ginn,
+who had been to Brockton on a visit.  To Mrs. Polena the Major,
+raising his hat in a manner that no native of East Harniss could
+acquire by a lifetime of teaching, observed that it was a beautiful
+morning.  The flustered widow replied that it "was so."  This was
+the beginning of a conversation that lasted until the "Central
+House" was reached, a conversation that left Polena impressed with
+the idea that her new acquaintance was as near the pink of
+perfection as mortal could be.
+
+"It wa'n't his clothes, nuther," she told her brother, Obed Gott,
+as they sat at the dinner table.  "I don't know what 'twas, but you
+could jest see that he was a gentleman all over.  I wouldn't wonder
+if he was one of them New York millionaires, like Mr. Williams--but
+SO different.  'Redny' Blount says he see his name onto the hotel
+register and 'twas 'Cuthbertson Scott Hardee.'  Ain't that a tony
+name for you?  And his darky man called him 'Major.'  I never see
+sech manners on a livin' soul!  Obed, I DO wish you'd stop eatin'
+pie with a knife."
+
+Under these pleasing circumstances did Major Cuthbertson Scott
+Hardee make his first appearance in East Harniss, and the
+reputation spread abroad by Mr. Blount and Mrs. Ginn was confirmed
+as other prominent citizens met him, and fell under the spell.  In
+two short weeks he was the most popular and respected man in the
+village.  The Methodist minister said, at the Thursday evening
+sociable, that "Major Hardee is a true type of the old-school
+gentleman," whereupon Beriah Higgins, who was running for
+selectman, and therefore felt obliged to be interested in all
+educational matters, asked whereabouts that school was located, and
+who was teaching it now.
+
+It was a treat to see the Major stroll down Main Street to the post
+office every pleasant spring morning.  Coat buttoned tight, silk
+hat the veriest trifle on one side, one glove on and its mate
+carried with the cane in the other hand, and the buttonhole
+bouquet--always the bouquet--as fresh and bright and jaunty as its
+wearer himself.
+
+It seemed that every housekeeper whose dwelling happened to be
+situated along that portion of the main road had business in the
+front yard at the time of the Major's passing.  There were steps to
+be swept, or rugs to be shaken, or doorknobs to be polished just at
+that particular time.  Dialogues like the following interrupted the
+triumphal progress at three minute intervals:
+
+"Good-morning, Mrs. Sogberry.  GOOD-morning.  A delightful morning.
+Busy as the proverbial bee once more, I see.  I can never cease to
+admire the industry and model neatness of the Massachusetts
+housekeeper.  And how is your charming daughter this morning?
+Better, I trust?"
+
+"Well, now, Major Hardee, I don't know.  Abbie ain't so well's I
+wish she was.  She set up a spell yesterday, but the doctor says
+she ain't gittin' along the way she'd ought to.  I says to him,
+s'I, 'Abbie ain't never what you'd call a reel hearty eater, but,
+my land! when she don't eat NOTHIN',' I says--"
+
+And so on and so on, with the Major always willing to listen,
+always sympathetic, and always so charmingly courteous.
+
+The Central House, East Harniss's sole hotel, and a very small one
+at that, closed its doors on April 10th.  Mr. Godfrey, its
+proprietor, had come to the country for his health.  He had been
+inveigled, by an advertisement in a Boston paper, into buying the
+Central House at East Harniss.  It would afford him, so he
+reasoned, light employment and a living.  The employment was light
+enough, but the living was lighter.  He kept the Central House for
+a year.  Then he gave it up as a bad job and returned to the city.
+"I might keep my health if I stayed," he admitted, in explaining
+his position to Captain Berry, "but if I want to keep to what
+little money I have left, I'd better go.  Might as well die of
+disease as starvation."
+
+Everyone expected that the "gentleman of the old school" would go
+also, but one evening Abner Payne, whose business is "real estate,
+fire and life insurance, justice of the peace, and houses to let
+and for sale," rushed into the post office to announce that the
+Major had leased the "Gorham place," furnished, and intended to
+make East Harniss his home.
+
+"He likes the village so well he's goin' to stay here always,"
+explained Abner.  "Says he's been all 'round the world, but he
+never see a place he liked so well's he does East Harniss.  How's
+that for high, hey?  And you callin' it a one-horse town, Obed
+Gott!"
+
+The Major moved into the "Gorham place" the next morning.  It--the
+"place"--was an old-fashioned house on the hill, though not on Mr.
+Williams' "Boulevard."  It had been one of the finest mansions in
+town once on a time, but had deteriorated rapidly since old Captain
+Elijah Gorham died.  Augustus carried the Major's baggage from the
+hotel to the house.  This was done very early and none of the
+natives saw the transfer.  There was some speculation as to how the
+darky managed to carry the big trunk single-handed; one of two
+persons asked Augustus this very question, but they received no
+satisfactory answer.  Augustus was habitually close-mouthed.  Mr.
+Godfrey left town that same morning on the first train.
+
+The Major christened his new home "Silver-leaf Hall," because of
+two great "silver-leaf" trees that stood by the front door.  He had
+some repairing, paper hanging and painting done, ordered a big
+stock of groceries from the local dealer, and showed by his every
+action that his stay in East Harniss was to be a lengthy one.  He
+hired a pew in the Methodist church, and joined the "club."
+Augustus did the marketing for "Silver-leaf Hall," and had
+evidently been promoted to the position of housekeeper.
+
+The Major moved in April.  It was now the third week in June and
+his popularity was, if possible, more pronounced than ever.  On
+this particular, the evening of Captain Bailey Stitt's unexpected
+arrival, Obed had been sitting by the tea table in his dining room
+after supper, going over the account books of his paint, paper, and
+oil store.  His sister, Mrs. Polena Ginn, was washing dishes in the
+kitchen.
+
+"Wat's that letter you're readin', Obed?" she called from her post
+by the sink.
+
+"Nothin'," said her brother, gruffly, crumpling up the sheet of
+note paper and jamming it into his pocket.
+
+"My sakes! you're shorter'n pie crust to-night.  What's the matter?
+Anything gone wrong at the store?"
+
+"No."
+
+Silence again, only broken by the clatter of dishes.  Then Polena
+said:
+
+"Obed, when are you goin' to take me up to the clubroom so's I can
+see that picture of Major Hardee that he presented the club with?
+Everybody says it's just lovely.  Sarah T. says it's perfectly
+elegant, only not quite so handsome as the Major reelly is.  She
+says it don't flatter him none."
+
+"Humph!  Anybody'd think Hardee was some kind of a wonder, the way
+you women folks go on 'bout him.  How do you know but what he might
+be a reg'lar fraud?  Looks ain't everything."
+
+"Well, I never!  Obed Gott, I should think you'd be 'shamed of
+yourself, talkin' that way.  I shan't speak another word to you to-
+night.  I never see you act so unlikely.  An old fraud!  The idea!
+That grand, noble man!"
+
+Obed tried to make some sort of half-hearted apology, but his
+sister wouldn't listen to it.  Polena's dignity was touched.  She
+was a woman of consequence in East Harniss, was Polena.  Her
+husband had, at his death, left her ten thousand dollars in her own
+right, and she owned bonds and had money in the Wellmouth Bank.
+Nobody, not even her brother, was allowed to talk to her in that
+fashion.
+
+To tell the truth, Obed was sorry he had offended his sister.  He
+had been throwing out hints of late as to the necessity of building
+an addition to the paint and oil store, and had cast a longing look
+upon a portion of Polena's ten thousand.  The lady had not promised
+to extend the financial aid, but she had gone so far as to say she
+would think about it.  So Obed regretted his insinuations against
+the Major's integrity.
+
+After a while he threw the account books upon the top of the chest
+of drawers, put on his hat and coat and announced that he was going
+over to the depot for a "spell."  Polena did not deign to reply,
+so, after repeating the observation, he went out and slammed the
+door.
+
+Now, two hours later, as he stood in the doorway of the club, he
+was debating what he should do in a certain matter.  That matter
+concerned Major Hardee and was, therefore, an extremely delicate
+one.  At length Mr. Gott climbed the narrow stairs and entered the
+clubroom.  It was blue with tobacco smoke.
+
+The six or eight members present hailed him absently and went on
+with their games of checkers or "seven-up."  He attempted a game of
+checkers and lost, which did not tend to make his temper any
+sweeter.  His ill nature was so apparent that Beriah Higgins, who
+suffered from dyspepsia and consequent ill temper, finally
+commented upon it.
+
+"What's the matter with you, Obed?" he asked tartly.  "Too much of
+P'lena's mince pie?"
+
+"No," grunted Mr. Gott shortly.
+
+"What is it, then?  Ain't paint sellin' well?"
+
+"Sellin' well 'nough.  I could sell a hundred ton of paint to-
+morrow, more'n likely, but when it come to gittin' the money for
+it, that would be another story.  If folks would pay their bills
+there wouldn't be no trouble."
+
+"Who's stuck you now?"
+
+"I don't s'pose anybody has, but it's just as bad when they don't
+pay up.  I've got to have money to keep a-goin' with.  It don't
+make no diff'rence if it's as good a customer as Major Hardee; he
+ought to remember that we ain't all rich like him and--"
+
+A general movement among all the club members interrupted him.  The
+checker players left their boards and came over; the "seven-up"
+devotees dropped their cards and joined the circle.
+
+"What was that you said?" asked Higgins, uneasily.  "The Major
+owin' you money, was it?"
+
+"Oh, course I know he's all right and a fine man and all that,"
+protested Obed, feeling himself put on the defensive.  "But that
+ain't it.  What's a feller goin' to do when he needs the money and
+gets a letter like that?"
+
+He drew the crumpled sheet of note paper from his pocket, and threw
+it on the table.  Higgins picked it up and read it aloud, as
+follows:
+
+
+SILVERLEAF HALL, June 20th.
+
+MY DEAR MR. GOTT: I am in receipt of your courteous communication
+of recent date.  I make it an unvarying rule to keep little ready
+money here in East Harniss, preferring rather to let it remain at
+interest in the financial institutions of the cities.  Another rule
+of mine, peculiar, I dare say--even eccentric, if you like--is
+never to pay by check.  I am expecting remittances from my
+attorneys, however, and will then bear you in mind.  Again thanking
+you for your courtesy, and begging you to extend to your sister my
+kindest regards, I remain, my dear sir,
+
+Yours very respectfully,
+
+CUTHBERTSON SCOTT HARDEE.
+
+P. S.--I shall be delighted to have the pleasure of entertaining
+your sister and yourself at dinner at the hall on any date
+agreeable to you.  Kindly let me hear from you regarding this at
+your earliest convenience.  I must insist upon this privilege, so
+do not disappoint me, I beg.
+
+
+The reception accorded this most gentlemanly epistle was peculiar.
+Mr. Higgins laid it upon the table and put his hand into his own
+pocket.  So did Ezra Weeks, the butcher; Caleb Small, the dry goods
+dealer; "Hen" Leadbetter, the livery stable keeper; "Bash" Taylor,
+the milkman, and three or four others.  And, wonder of wonders,
+each produced a sheet of note paper exactly like Obed's.
+
+They spread them out on the table.  The dates were, of course,
+different, and they differed in other minor particulars, but in the
+main they were exactly alike.  And each one of them ended with an
+invitation to dinner.
+
+The members of the club looked at each other in amazement.  Higgins
+was the first to speak.
+
+"Godfrey mighty!" he exclaimed.  "Say, this is funny, ain't it?
+It's more'n funny; it's queer!  By jimmy, it's more'n that--it's
+serious!  Look here, fellers; is there anybody in this crowd that
+the Major's paid for anything any time?"
+
+They waited.  No one spoke.  Then, with one impulse, every face
+swung about and looked up to where, upon the wall, hung the life-
+size photograph of the Major, dignified, gracious, and gilt-framed.
+It had been presented to the club two months before by Cuthbertson
+Scott Hardee, himself.
+
+"Ike--Ike Peters," said Higgins.  "Say, Ike--has he ever paid you
+for havin' that took?"
+
+Mr. Peters, who was the town photographer, reddened, hesitated, and
+then stammered, "Why, no, he ain't, yet."
+
+"Humph!" grunted Higgins.  No one else said anything.  One or two
+took out pocket memorandum books and went over some figures entered
+therein.  Judging by their faces the results of these calculations
+were not pleasing.  Obed was the first to break the painful
+silence:
+
+"Well!" he exclaimed, sarcastically; "ain't nobody got nothin' to
+say?  If they ain't, I have.  Or, at any rate, I've got somethin'
+to do."  And he rose and started to put on his coat.
+
+"Hi! hold on a minute, Obed, you loon!" cried Higgins.  "Where are
+you goin'?"
+
+"I'm goin' to put my bill in Squire Baker's hands for c'lection,
+and I'm goin' to do it tonight, too."
+
+He was on his way to the door, but two or three ran to stop him.
+
+"Don't be a fool, Obed," said Higgins.  "Don't go off ha'f cocked.
+Maybe we're gittin' scared about nothin'.  We don't know but we'll
+get every cent that's owed us."
+
+"Don't KNOW!  Well, I ain't goin' to wait to find out.  What makes
+me b'ilin' is to think how we've set still and let a man that we
+never saw afore last March, and don't know one blessed thing about,
+run up bills and RUN 'em up.  How we come to be such everlastin'
+fools I don't see!  What did we let him have the stuff for?  Why
+didn't we make him pay?  I--"
+
+"Now see here, Obed Gott," broke in Weeks, the butcher, "you know
+why just as well as we do.  Why, blast it!" he added earnestly, "if
+he was to come into my shop to-morrow and tip that old high hat of
+his, and smile and say 'twas a fine mornin and 'How's the good lady
+to-day?' and all that, he'd get ha'f the meat there was in the
+place, and I wouldn't say 'Boo'!  I jest couldn't, that's all."
+
+This frank statement was received with approving nods and a chorus
+of muttered "That's so's."
+
+"It looks to me this way," declared Higgins.  "If the Major's all
+right, he's a mighty good customer for all of us.  If he ain't all
+right, we've got to find it out, but we're in too deep to run resks
+of gettin' him mad 'fore we know for sure.  Let's think it over for
+a week.  Inside of that time some of us'll hint to him, polite but
+firm, you understand, that we've got to have something on account.
+A week from to-night we'll meet in the back room of my store, talk
+it over and decide what to do.  What do you say?"
+
+Everybody but Obed agreed.  He declared that he had lost money
+enough and wasn't going to be a fool any longer.  The others argued
+with him patiently for a while and then Leadbetter, the livery
+stable keeper, said sharply:
+
+"See here, Obe!  You ain't the only one in this.  How much does the
+Major owe you?"
+
+"Pretty nigh twenty dollars."
+
+"Humph!  You're lucky.  He owes me over thirty, and I guess Higgins
+is worse off than any of us.  Ain't that so, Beriah?"
+
+"About seventy, even money," answered the grocer, shortly.  "No
+use, Obed, we've got to hang together.  Wait a week and then see.
+And, fellers," he added, "don't tell a soul about this business,
+'specially the women folks.  There ain't a woman nor girl in this
+town that don't think Major Hardee's an A1, gold-plated saint, and
+twouldn't be safe to break the spell on a guess."
+
+Obed reached home even more disgruntled than when he left it.  He
+sat up until after twelve, thinking and smoking, and when he went
+to bed he had a brilliant idea.  The next morning he wrote a letter
+and posted it.
+
+
+CHAPTER V
+
+A BABY AND A ROBBERY
+
+
+The morning train for Boston, at that season of the year, reached
+East Harniss at five minutes to six, an "ungodly hour," according
+to the irascible Mr. Ogden Williams, who, in company with some of
+his wealthy friends, the summer residents, was petitioning the
+railroad company for a change in the time-table.  When Captain Sol
+Berry, the depot master, walked briskly down Main Street the
+morning following Mr. Gott's eventful evening at the club, the
+hands of the clock on the Methodist church tower indicated that the
+time was twenty minutes to six.
+
+Issy McKay was already at the depot, the doors of which were open.
+Captain Sol entered the waiting room and unlocked the ticket rack
+and the little safe.  Issy, languidly toying with the broom on the
+front platform, paused in his pretense of sweeping and awaited
+permission to go home for breakfast.  It came, in characteristic
+fashion.
+
+"How's the salt air affectin' your appetite, Is?" asked the
+Captain, casually.
+
+Issy, who, being intensely serious by nature, was uneasy when he
+suspected the presence of a joke, confusedly stammered that he
+cal'lated his appetite was all right.
+
+"Payin' for the Major's glass ain't kept you awake worryin', has
+it?"
+
+"No-o, sir.  I--"
+
+"P'r'aps you thought he was the one to 'do the worryin', hey?"
+
+"I--I don't know."
+
+"Well, what's your folks goin' to have to eat this mornin'?"
+
+Issy admitted his belief that fried clams were to be the breakfast.
+
+"So?  Clams?  Is, did you ever read the soap advertisement about
+not bein' a clam?"
+
+"I--I don't know's I ever did.  No, sir."
+
+"All right; I only called your attention to it as a warnin', that's
+all.  When anybody eats as many clams as you do there's a fair
+chance of his turnin' into one.  Now clear out, and don't stay so
+long at breakfast that you can't get back in time for dinner.
+Trot!"
+
+Issy trotted.  The depot master seated himself by the door of the
+ticket office and fell into a reverie.  It was interrupted by the
+entrance of Hiram Baker.  Captain Hiram was an ex-fishing skipper,
+fifty-five years of age, who, with his wife, Sophronia, and their
+infant son, Hiram Joash Baker, lived in a small, old-fashioned
+house at the other end of the village, near the shore.  Captain
+Hiram, having retired from the sea, got his living, such as it was,
+from his string of fish traps, or "weirs."
+
+The depot master hailed the new arrival heartily.
+
+"Hello, there, Hiram!" he cried, rising from his chair.  "Glad to
+see you once in a while.  Ain't goin' to leave us, are you?  Not
+goin' abroad for your health, or anything of that kind, hey?"
+
+Captain Baker laughed.
+
+"No," he answered.  "No further abroad than Hyannis.  And I'll be
+back from there tonight, if the Lord's willin' and the cars don't
+get off the track.  Give me a round trip ticket, will you, Sol?"
+
+The depot master retired to the office, returning with the desired
+ticket.  Captain Hiram counted out the price from a confused mass
+of coppers and silver, emptied into his hand from a blackened
+leather purse, tied with a string.
+
+"How's Sophrony?" asked the depot master.  "Pretty smart, I hope."
+
+"Yup, she's smart.  Has to be to keep up with the rest of the
+family--'specially the youngest."
+
+He chuckled.  His friend laughed in sympathy.
+
+"The youngest is the most important of all, I s'pose," he observed.
+"How IS the junior partner of H. Baker and Son?"
+
+"He ain't a silent partner, I'll swear to that.  Honest, Sol, I
+b'lieve my 'Dusenberry' is the cutest young one outside of a show.
+I said so only yesterday to Mr. Hilton, the minister.  I did, and I
+meant it."
+
+"Well, we're all gettin' ready to celebrate his birthday.  Ho, ho!"
+
+This was a standard joke and was so recognized and honored.  A baby
+born on the Fourth of July is sure of a national celebration of his
+birthday.  And to Captain Baker and his wife, no celebration,
+however widespread, could do justice to the importance of the
+occasion.  When, to answer the heart longings of the child-loving
+couple married many years, the baby came, he was accepted as a
+special dispensation of Providence and valued accordingly.
+
+"He's got a real nice voice, Hiram," said Sophronia, gazing proudly
+at the prodigy, who, clutched gingerly in his father's big hands,
+was screaming his little red face black.  "I shouldn't wonder if he
+grew up to sing in the choir."
+
+"That's the kind of voice to make a fo'mast hand step lively!"
+declared Hiram.  "You'll see this boy on the quarter deck of a
+clipper one of these days."
+
+Naming him was a portentous proceeding and one not to be lightly
+gone about.  Sophronia, who was a Methodist by descent and early
+confirmation, was of the opinion that the child should have a Bible
+name.
+
+The Captain respected his wife's wishes, but put in an ardent plea
+for his own name, Hiram.
+
+"There's been a Hiram Baker in our family ever since Noah h'isted
+the main-r'yal on the ark," he declared.  "I'd kinder like to keep
+the procession a-goin'."
+
+They compromised by agreeing to make the baby's Christian name
+Hiram and to add a middle name selected at random from the
+Scriptures.  The big, rickety family Bible was taken from the
+center table and opened with shaking fingers by Mrs. Baker.  She
+read aloud the first sentence that met her eye: "The son of Joash."
+
+"Joash!" sneered her husband.  "You ain't goin' to cruelize him
+with that name, be you?"
+
+"Hiram Baker, do you dare to fly in the face of Scriptur'?"
+
+"All right!  Have it your own way.  Go to sleep now, Hiram Joash,
+while I sing 'Storm along, John,' to you."
+
+Little Hiram Joash punched the minister's face with his fat fist
+when he was christened, to the great scandal of his mother and the
+ill-concealed delight of his father.
+
+"Can't blame the child none," declared the Captain.  "I'd punch
+anybody that christened a middle name like that onto me."
+
+But, in spite of his name, the baby grew and prospered.  He fell
+out of his crib, of course, the moment that he was able, and barked
+his shins over the big shells by the what-not in the parlor the
+first time that he essayed to creep.  He teethed with more or less
+tribulation, and once upset the household by an attack of the croup.
+
+They gave up calling him by his first name, because of the
+Captain's invariably answering when the baby was wanted and not
+answering when he himself was wanted.  Sophronia would have liked
+to call him Joash, but her husband wouldn't hear of it.  At length
+the father took to calling him "Dusenberry," and this nickname was
+adopted under protest.
+
+Captain Hiram sang the baby to sleep every night.  There were three
+songs in the Captain's repertoire.  The first was a chanty with a
+chorus of
+
+
+     John, storm along, storm along, John,
+     Ain't I glad my day's work's done.
+
+
+The second was the "Bowline Song."
+
+
+     Haul on the bowline, the 'Phrony is a-rollin',
+     Haul on the bowline! the bowline HAUL!
+
+
+At the "haul!" the Captain's foot would come down with a thump.
+Almost the first word little Hiram Joash learned was "haul!"  He
+used to shout it and kick his father vigorously in the vest.
+
+These were fair-weather songs.  Captain Hiram sang them when
+everything was going smoothly.  The "Bowline Song" indicated that
+he was feeling particularly jubilant.  He had another that he sang
+when he was worried.  It was a lugubrious ditty, with a refrain
+beginning:
+
+
+     Oh, sailor boy, sailor boy, 'neath the wild billow,
+     Thy grave is yawnin' and waitin' for thee.
+
+
+He sang this during the worst of the teething period, and, later,
+when the junior partner wrestled with the whooping cough.  You
+could always tell the state of the baby's health by the Captain's
+choice of songs.
+
+Meanwhile Dusenberry grew and prospered.  He learned to walk and to
+talk, after his own peculiar fashion, and, at the mature age of two
+years and six months, formally shipped as first mate aboard his
+father's dory.  His duties in this responsible position were to sit
+in the stern, securely fastened by a strap, while the Captain and
+his two assistants rowed out over the bar to haul the nets of the
+deep water fish weir.
+
+The first mate gave the orders, "All hands on deck!  'Tand by to
+det ship under way!"  There was no "sogerin'" aboard the Hiram
+Junior--that was the dory's name--while the first officer had
+command.
+
+Captain Hiram, always ready to talk of the wonderful baby, told the
+depot master of the youngster's latest achievement, which was to
+get the cover off the butter firkin in the pantry and cover himself
+with butter from head to heel.
+
+"Ho, ho, ho!" he roared, delightedly, "when Sophrony caught him at
+it, what do you s'pose he said?  Said he was playin' he was a slice
+of bread and was spreadin' himself.  Haw! haw!"
+
+Captain Sol laughed in sympathy.
+
+"But he didn't mean no harm by it," explained the proud father.
+"He's got the tenderest little heart in the world.  When he found
+his ma felt bad he bust out cryin' and said he'd scrape it all off
+again and when it come prayer time he'd tell God who did it, so
+He'd know 'twa'n't mother that wasted the nice butter.  What do you
+think of that?"
+
+"No use talkin', Hiram," said the depot master, "that's the kind of
+boy to have."
+
+"You bet you!  Hello! here's the train.  On time, for a wonder.
+See you later, Sol.  You take my advice, get married and have a boy
+of your own.  Nothin' like one for solid comfort."
+
+The train was coming and they went out to meet it.  The only
+passenger to alight was Mr. Barzilla Wingate, whose arrival had
+been foretold by Bailey Stitt the previous evening.  Barzilla was
+part owner of a good-sized summer hotel at Wellmouth Neck.  He and
+the depot master were old friends.
+
+After the train had gone Wingate and Captain Sol entered the
+station together.  The Captain had insisted that his friend come
+home with him to breakfast, instead of going to the hotel.  After
+some persuasion Barzilla agreed.  So they sat down to await Issy's
+arrival.  The depot master could not leave the station until the
+"assistant" arrived.
+
+"Well, Barzilla," asked Captain Sol, "what's the newest craze over
+to the hotel?"
+
+"The newest," said Wingate, with a grin, "is automobiles."
+
+"Automobiles?  Why, I thought 'twas baseball."
+
+"Baseball was last summer.  We had a championship team then.  Yes,
+sir, we won out, though for a spell it looked pretty dubious.  But
+baseball's an old story.  We've had football since, and now--"
+
+"Wait a minute!  Football?  Why, now I do remember.  You had a
+football team there and--and wa'n't there somethin' queer, some
+sort of a--a robbery, or stealin', or swindlin' connected with it?
+Seems's if I'd heard somethin' like that."
+
+Mr. Wingate looked his friend over, winked, and asked a question.
+
+"Sol," he said, "you ain't forgot how to keep a secret?"
+
+The depot master smiled.  "I guess not," he said.
+
+"Well, then, I'm goin' to trust you with one.  I'm goin' to tell
+you the whole business about that robbin'.  It's all mixed up with
+football and millionaires and things--and it's a dead secret, the
+truth of it.  So when I tell you it mustn't go no further.
+
+"You see," he went on, "it was late into August when Peter T. was
+took down with the inspiration.  Not that there was anything
+'specially new in his bein' took.  He was subject to them seizures,
+Peter was, and every time they broke out in a fresh place.  The Old
+Home House itself was one of his inspirations, so was the hirin' of
+college waiters, the openin' of the two 'Annex' cottages, the South
+Shore Weather Bureau, and a whole lot more.  Sometimes, as in the
+weather-bureau foolishness, the disease left him and t'other two
+patients--meanin' me and Cap'n Jonadab--pretty weak in the courage,
+and wasted in the pocketbook; but gen'rally they turned out good,
+and our systems and bank accounts was more healthy than normal.
+One of Peter T.'s inspirations was consider'ble like typhoid fever--
+if you did get over it, you felt better for havin' had it.
+
+"This time the attack was in the shape of a 'supplementary season.'
+'Twas Peter's idea that shuttin' up the Old Home the fust week in
+September was altogether too soon.
+
+"'What's the use of quittin',' says he, 'while there's bait left
+and the fish are bitin'?  Why not keep her goin' through September
+and October?  Two or three ads--MY ads--in the papers, hintin' that
+the ducks and wild geese are beginnin' to keep the boarders awake
+by roostin' in the back yard and hollerin' at night--two or three
+of them, and we'll have gunners here by the regiment.  Other summer
+hotels do it, the Wapatomac House and the rest, so why not us?  It
+hurts my conscience to see good money gettin' past the door 'count
+of the "Not at Home" sign hung on the knob.  What d'you say,
+partners?' says he.
+
+"Well, we had consider'ble to say, partic'lar Cap'n Jonadab.  'Twas
+too risky and too expensive.  Gunnin' was all right except for one
+thing--that is, that there wa'n't none wuth mentionin'.
+
+"'Ducks are scurser round here than Democrats in a Vermont town-
+meetin',' growled the Cap'n.  'And as for geese!  How long has it
+been since you see a goose, Barzilla?'
+
+"'Land knows!' says I.  'I can remember as fur back as the fust
+time Washy Sparrow left off workin', but I can't--'
+
+"Brown told us to shut up.  Did we cal'late he didn't know what he
+was talkin' about?
+
+"'I can see two geese right now,' he snaps; 'but they're so old and
+leather-headed you couldn't shoot an idea into their brains with a
+cannon.  Gunnin' ain't the whole thing.  My makin' a noise like a
+duck is only to get the would-be Teddy Roosevelts headed for this
+neck of the woods.  After they get here, it's up to us to keep 'em.
+And I can think of as many ways to do that as the Cap'n can of
+savin' a quarter.  Our baseball team's been a success, ain't it?
+Sure thing!  Then why not a football team?  Parker says he'll get
+it together, and coach and cap'n it, too.  And Robinson and his
+daughter have agreed to stay till October fifteenth.  So there's a
+start, anyhow.'
+
+"'Twas a start, and a pretty good one.  The Robinsons had come to
+the Old Home about the fust of August, and they was our star
+boarders.  'G. W. Robinson' was the old man's name as entered on
+the hotel log, and his daughter answered to the hail of 'Grace'--
+that is, when she took a notion to answer at all.  The Robinsons
+was what Peter T. called 'exclusive.'  They didn't mix much with
+the rest of the bunch, but kept to themselves in their rooms,
+partic'lar when a fresh net full of boarders was hauled aboard.
+Then they seemed to take an observation of every arrival afore they
+mingled; questioned the pedigree and statistics of all hands, and
+acted mighty suspicious.
+
+"The only thing that really stirred Papa Robinson up and got him
+excited and friendly was baseball and boat racin'.  He was an old
+sport, that was plain, the only real plain thing about him; the
+rest was mystery.  As for Grace, she wa'n't plain by a good sight,
+bein' what Brown called a 'peach.'  She could have had every single
+male in tow if she'd wanted 'em.  Apparently she didn't want em,
+preferrin' to be lonesome and sad and interestin'.  Yes, sir, there
+was a mystery about them Robinsons, and even Peter T. give in to
+that.
+
+"'If 'twas anybody else,' says he, 'I'd say the old man was a
+crook, down here hidin' from the police.  But he's too rich for
+that, and always has been.  He ain't any fly-by-night.  I can tell
+the real article without lookin' for the "sterlin'" mark on the
+handle.  But I'll bet all the cold-storage eggs in the hotel
+against the henyard--and that's big odds--that he wa'n't christened
+Robinson.  And his face is familiar to me.  I've seen it somewhere,
+either in print or in person.  I wish I knew where.'
+
+"So if the Robinsons had agreed to stay--them and their two
+servants--that was a big help, as Brown said.  And Parker would
+help, too, though we agreed there wa'n't no mystery about him.  He
+was a big, broad-shouldered young feller just out of college
+somewheres, who had drifted our way the fortni't after the
+Robinsons came, with a reputation for athletics and a leanin'
+toward cigarettes and Miss Grace.  She leaned a little, too, but
+hers wa'n't so much of a bend as his was.  He was dead gone on her,
+and if she'd have decided to stay under water, he'd have ducked
+likewise.  'Twas easy enough to see why HE believed in a
+'supplementary season.'
+
+"Me and Jonadab argued it out with Peter, and finally we met
+halfway, so's to speak.  We wouldn't keep the whole shebang open,
+but we'd shut up everything but one Annex cottage, and advertise
+that as a Gunner's Retreat.  So we done it.
+
+"And it worked.  Heavens to Betsy--yes!  It worked so well that by
+the second week in September we had to open t'other Annex.  The
+gunnin' was bad, but Peter's ads fetched the would-be's, and his
+'excursions' and picnics and the football team held 'em.  The
+football team especial.  Parker cap'ned that, and, from the gunnin'
+crew and the waiters and some fishermen in the village, he dug up
+an eleven that showed symptoms of playin' the game.  We played the
+Trumet High School, and beat it, thanks to Parker, and that tickled
+Pa Robinson so that he bought a two-handled silver soup tureen--
+'lovin' cup,' he called it--and agreed to give it to the team round
+about that won the most of the series.  So the series was arranged,
+the Old Home House crowd and the Wapatomac House eleven and three
+high-school gangs bein' in it.  And 'twas practice, practice,
+practice, from then on.
+
+"When we opened the second Annex, the question of help got serious.
+Most of our college waiters had gone back to school, and we was
+pretty shy of servants.  So we put some extry advertisin' in the
+Cape weeklies, and trusted in Providence.
+
+"The evenin' followin' the ad in the weeklies, I was settin' smokin'
+on the back piazza of the shut-up main hotel, when I heard the gate
+click and somebody crunchin' along the clam-shell path.  I sung
+out: 'Ahoy, there!' and the cruncher, whoever he was, come my way.
+Then I made out that he was a tall young chap, with his hands in
+his pockets.
+
+"'Good evenin',' says he.  'Is this Mr. Brown?'
+
+"'Thankin' you for the compliment, it ain't,' I says.  'My name's
+Wingate.'
+
+"'Oh!' says he.  'Is that so?  I've heard father speak of you, Mr.
+Wingate.  He is Solomon Bearse, of West Ostable.  I think you know
+him slightly.'
+
+"Know him?  Everybody on the Cape knows Sol Bearse; by reputation,
+anyhow.  He's the richest, meanest old cranberry grower and
+coastin'-fleet owner in these parts.
+
+"'Is Sol Bearse your dad?' I asks, astonished.  'Why, then, you
+must be Gus?'
+
+"'No,' he says.  'I'm the other one--Fred.'
+
+"'Oh, the college one.  The one who's goin' to be a lawyer.'
+
+"'Well, yes--and no,' says he.  'I WAS the college one, as you call
+it, but I'm not goin' to be a lawyer.  Father and I have had some
+talk on that subject, and I think we've settled it.  I--well, just
+at present, I'm not sure what I'm goin' to be.  That's what I've
+come to you for.  I saw your ad in the Item, and--I want a job.'
+
+"I was set all aback, and left with my canvas flappin', as you
+might say.  Sol Bearse's boy huntin' a job in a hotel kitchen!
+Soon's I could fetch a whole breath, I wanted partic'lars.  He give
+'em to me.
+
+"Seems he'd been sent out to one of the colleges in the Middle West
+by his dad, who was dead set on havin' a lawyer in the family.  But
+the more he studied, the less he hankered for law.  What he wanted
+to be was a literature--a book-agent or a poet, or some such
+foolishness.  Old Sol, havin' no more use for a poet than he had
+for a poor relation, was red hot in a minute.  Was this what he'd
+been droppin' good money in the education collection box for?  Was
+this--etcetery and so on.  He'd be--what the church folks say he
+will be--if Fred don't go in for law.  Fred, he comes back that
+he'll be the same if he does.  So they disowned each other by
+mutual consent, as the Irishman said, and the boy marches out of
+the front door, bag and baggage.  And, as the poetry market seemed
+to be sort of overly supplied at the present time, he decided he
+must do somethin' to earn a dollar, and, seein' our ad, he comes to
+Wellmouth Port and the Old Home.
+
+"'But look here,' says I, 'we ain't got no job for a literary.  We
+need fellers to pass pie and wash dishes.  And THAT ain't no poem.'
+
+"Well, he thought perhaps he could help make up advertisin'.
+
+"'You can't,' I told him.  'One time, when Peter T. Brown was away,
+me and Cap'n Jonadab cal'lated that a poetry advertisement would be
+a good idee and we managed to shake out ten lines or so.  It begun:
+
+
+     "When you're feelin' tired and pale
+      To the Old Home House you ought to come without fail."
+
+
+"'We thought 'twas pretty slick, but we never got but one answer,
+and that was a circular from one of them correspondence schools of
+authors, sayin' they'd let us in on a course at cut rates.  And the
+next thing we knew we see that poem in the joke page of a Boston
+paper.  I never--'
+
+"He laughed, quiet and sorrowful.  He had the quietest way of
+speakin', anyhow, and his voice was a lovely tenor.  To hear it
+purrin' out of his big, tall body was as unexpected as a hymn tune
+in a cent-in-the-slot talkin' machine.
+
+"'Too bad,' he says.  'As a waiter, I'm afraid--'
+
+"Just then the door of one of the Annex houses opened sudden, and
+there stood Grace Robinson.  The light behind her showed her up
+plain as could be.  I heard Fred Bearse make a kind of gaspin'
+noise in his throat.
+
+"'What a lovely night!' she says, half to herself.  Then she calls:
+'Papa, dear, you really ought to see the stars.'
+
+"Old man Robinson, who I judged was in the settin' room, snarled
+out somethin' which wa'n't no compliment to the stars.  Then he
+ordered her to come in afore she catched cold.  She sighed and
+obeyed orders, shuttin' the door astern of her.  Next thing I knew
+that literary tenor grabbed my arm--'twa'n't no canary-bird grip,
+neither.
+
+"'Who was that?' he whispers, eager.
+
+"I told him.  'That's the name they give,' says I, 'but we have
+doubts about its bein' the real one.  You see, there's some mystery
+about them Robinsons, and--'
+
+"'I'll take that waiter's place,' he says, quick.  'Shall I go
+right in and begin now?  Don't stop to argue, man; I say I'll take
+it.'
+
+"And he did take it by main strength, pretty nigh.  Every time I'd
+open my mouth he'd shut it up, and at last I give in, and showed
+him where he could sleep.
+
+"'You turn out at five sharp,' I told him.  'And you needn't bother
+to write no poems while you're dressin', neither.'
+
+"'Good night,' he answers, brisk.  'Go, will you, please?  I want
+to think.'
+
+"I went.  'Tain't until an hour later that I remembered he hadn't
+asked one word concernin' the wages.  And next mornin' he comes to
+me and suggests that perhaps 'twould be as well if I didn't tell
+his real name.  He was pretty sure he'd been away schoolin' so long
+that he wouldn't be recognized.  'And incognitos seem to be
+fashionable here,' he purrs, soft and gentle.
+
+"I wouldn't know an incognito if I stepped on one, but the tenor
+voice of him kind of made me sick.
+
+"'All right,' I snaps, sarcastic.  'Suppose I call you "Willie."
+How'll that do?'
+
+"'Do as well as anything, I guess,' he says.  Didn't make no odds
+to him.  If I'd have called him 'Maud,' he'd have been satisfied.
+
+"He waited in Annex Number Two, which was skippered by Cap'n
+Jonadab.  And, for a poet, he done pretty well, so the Cap'n said.
+
+"'But say, Barzilla,' asks Jonadab, 'does that Willie thing know
+the Robinsons?'
+
+"'Guess not,' I says.  But, thinkin' of the way he'd acted when the
+girl come to the door: 'Why?'
+
+"'Oh, nothin' much.  Only when he come in with the doughnuts the
+fust mornin' at breakfast, I thought Grace sort of jumped and
+looked funny.  Anyhow, she didn't eat nothin' after that.  P'r'aps
+that was on account of her bein' out sailin' the day afore,
+though.'
+
+"I said I cal'lated that was it, but all the same I was interested.
+And when, a day or so later, I see Grace and Willie talkin'
+together earnest, out back of the kitchen, I was more so.  But I
+never said nothin'.  I've been seafarin' long enough to know when
+to keep my main hatch closed.
+
+"The supplementary season dragged along, but it wa'n't quite the
+success it looked like at the start.  The gunnin' that year was
+even worse than usual, and excursions and picnics in late September
+ain't all joy, by no manner of means.  We shut up the second Annex
+at the end of the month, and transferred the help to Number One.
+Precious few new boarders come, and a good many of the old ones
+quit.  Them that did stay, stayed on account of the football.  We
+was edgin' up toward the end of the series, and our team and the
+Wapatomac crowd was neck and neck.  It looked as if the final game
+between them and us, over on their grounds, would settle who'd have
+the soup tureen.
+
+"Pa Robinson and Parker had been quite interested in Willie when he
+fust come.  They thought he might play with the eleven, you see.
+But he wouldn't.  Set his foot right down.
+
+"'I don't care for athletics,' he says, mild but firm.  'They used
+to interest me somewhat, but not now.'
+
+"The old man was crazy.  He'd heard about Willie's literature
+leanin's, and he give out that he'd never see a writer yet that
+wa'n't a 'sissy.'  Wanted us to fire Bearse right off, but we kept
+him, thanks to me.  If he'd seen the 'sissy' kick the ball once,
+same as I did, it might have changed his mind some.  He was passin'
+along the end of the field when the gang was practicin', and the
+ball come his way.  He caught it on the fly, and sent it back with
+his toe.  It went a mile, seemed so, whirlin' and whizzin'.  Willie
+never even looked to see where it went; just kept on his course for
+the kitchen.
+
+"The big sensation hit us on the fifth of October, right after
+supper.  Me and Peter T. and Jonadab was in the office, when down
+comes Henry, old Robinson's man servant, white as a sheet and
+wringin' his hands distracted.
+
+"'Oh, I say, Mr. Brown!' says he, shakin' all over like a
+quicksand.  'Oh, Mr. Brown, sir!  Will you come right up to Mr.
+Sterz--I mean Mr. Robinson's room, please, sir!  'E wants to see
+you gentlemen special.  'Urry, please!  'Urry!'
+
+"So we ''urried,' wonderin' what on earth was the matter.  And when
+we got to the Robinson rooms, there was Grace, lookin' awful pale,
+and the old man himself ragin' up and down like a horse mack'rel in
+a fish weir.
+
+"Soon as papa sees us, he jumped up in the air, so's to speak, and
+when he lit 'twas right on our necks.  His daughter, who seemed to
+be the sanest one in the lot, run and shut the door.
+
+"'Look here, you!' raved the old gent, shakin' both fists under
+Peter T.'s nose.  'Didn't you tell me this was a respectable hotel?
+And ain't we payin' for respectability?'
+
+"Peter admitted it, bein' too much set back to argue, I cal'late.
+
+"'Yes!' rages Robinson.  'We pay enough for all the respectability
+in this state.  And yet, by the livin' Moses! I can't go out of my
+room to spoil my digestion with your cussed dried-apple pie, but
+what I'm robbed!'
+
+"'Robbed!' the three of us gurgles in chorus.
+
+"'Yes, sir!  Robbed!  Robbed!  ROBBED!  What do you think I came
+here for?  And why do I stay here all this time?  'Cause I LIKE it?
+'Cause I can't afford a better place?  No, sir!  By the great horn
+spoon! I come here because I thought in this forsaken hole I could
+get lost and be safe.  And now--'
+
+"He tore around like a water spout, Grace trying to calm him, and
+Henry and Suzette, the maid, groanin' and sobbin' accompaniments in
+the corner.  I looked at the dresser.  There was silver-backed
+brushes and all sorts of expensive doodads spread out loose, and
+Miss Robinson's watch and a di'mond ring, and a few other
+knickknacks.  I couldn't imagine a thief's leavin' all that truck,
+and I said so.
+
+"'Them?' sputters Pa, frantic.  'What the brimstone blazes do you
+think I care for them?  I could buy that sort of stuff by the car-
+load, if I wanted to.  But what's been stole is--  Oh, get out and
+leave me alone!  You're no good, the lot of you!'
+
+"'Father has had a valuable paper stolen from him,' explains Grace.
+'A very valuable paper.'
+
+"'Valuable!' howls her dad.  'VALUABLE!  Why, if Gordon and his
+gang get that paper, they've got ME, that's all.  Their suit's as
+good as won, and I know it.  And to think that I've kept it safe up
+to within a month of the trial, and now--Grace Sterzer, you stop
+pattin' my head.  I'm no pussy-cat!  By the--'  And so on,
+indefinite.
+
+"When he called his daughter Sterzer, instead of Robinson, I
+cal'lated he was loony, sure enough.  But Peter T. slapped his leg.
+
+"'Oh!' he says, as if he'd seen a light all to once.  'Ah, NOW I
+begin to get wise.  I knew your face was--  See here, Mr. Sterzer--
+Mr. Gabriel Sterzer--don't you think we'd better have a real, plain
+talk on this matter?  Let's get down to tacks.  Was the paper you
+lost something to do with the Sterzer-Gordon lawsuit?  The Aluminum
+Trust case, you know?'
+
+"The old man stopped dancin', stared at him hard, and then set down
+and wiped his forehead.
+
+"'Something to DO with it?' he groans.  'Why, you idiot, it was IT!
+If Gordon's lawyers get that paper--and they've been after it for a
+year--then the fat's all in the fire.  There's nothin' left for me
+to do but compromise.'
+
+"When Peter T. mentioned the name of Gabriel Sterzer, me and
+Jonadab begun to see a light, too.  'Course you remember the bust-
+up of the Aluminum Trust--everybody does.  The papers was full of
+it.  There'd been a row among the two leadin' stockholders, Gabe
+Sterzer and 'Major' Gordon.  Them two double-back-action
+millionaires practically owned the trust, and the state 'twas in,
+and the politics of that state, and all the politicians.  Each of
+'em run three or four banks of their own, and a couple of
+newspapers, and other things, till you couldn't rest.  Then they
+had the row, and Gabe had took his playthings and gone home, as you
+might say.  Among the playthings was a majority of the stock, and
+the Major had sued for it.  The suit, with pictures of the leadin'
+characters and the lawyers and all, had been spread-eagled in the
+papers everywheres.  No wonder 'Robinson's' face was familiar.
+
+"But it seemed that Sterzer had held the trump card in the shape of
+the original agreement between him and Gordon.  And he hung on to
+it like the Old Scratch to a fiddler.  Gordon and his crowd had
+done everything, short of murder, to get it; hired folks to steal
+it, and so on, because, once they DID get it, Gabe hadn't a leg to
+stand on--he'd have to divide equal, which wa'n't his desires, by a
+good sight.  The Sterzer lawyers had wanted him to leave it in
+their charge, but no--he knew too much for that.  The pig-headed
+old fool had carted it with him wherever he went, and him and his
+daughter had come to the Old Home House because he figgered nobody
+would think of their bein' in such an out-of-the-way place as that.
+But they HAD thought of it.  Anyhow, the paper was gone.
+
+"'But Mr. Robinzer--Sterson, I mean--' cut in Cap'n Jonadab, 'you
+could have 'em took up for stealin', couldn't you?  They wouldn't
+dare--'
+
+"''Course they'd dare!  S'pose they don't know I wouldn't have that
+agreement get in the papers?  Dare!  They'd dare anything.  If they
+get away with it, by hook or crook, all I can do is haul in my
+horns and compromise.  If they've got that paper, the suit never
+comes to trial.'
+
+"'Well, they ain't got it yet,' says Peter, decided.  'Whoever
+stole the thing is right here in this boardin'-house, and it's up
+to us to see that they stay here.  Barzilla, you take care of the
+mail.  No letters must go out to-night.  Jonadab, you set up and
+watch all hands, help and all.  Nobody must leave this place, if we
+have to tie em.  And I'll keep a gen'ral overseein' of the whole
+thing, till we get a detective.  And--if you'll stand the waybill,
+Mr. Sterzer--we'll have the best Pinkerton in Boston down here in
+three hours by special train.  By the way, are you sure the thing
+IS lifted?  Where was it?'
+
+"Old Gabe kind of colored up, and give in that 'twas under his
+pillow.  He always kept it there after the beds was made.
+
+"'Humph!' grunts Brown.  'Why didn't you hang it on the door-knob?
+Under the pillow!  If I was a sneak thief, the first place I'd look
+would be under the pillow; after that I'd tackle the jewelry box
+and the safe.'
+
+"There was consider'ble more talk.  Seems the Sterzers had left
+Henry on guard, same as they always done, when they went to supper.
+They could trust him and Suzette absolute, they said.  But Henry
+had gone down the hall after a drink of water, and when he had got
+back everything apparently was all right.  'Twa'n't till Gabe
+himself come up that he found the paper gone.  I judged he'd made
+it interestin' for Henry; the poor critter looked that way.
+
+"All hands agreed to keep mum for the present and to watch.  Peter
+hustled to the office and called up the Pinkertons over the long
+distance."
+
+Mr. Wingate paused.  Captain Sol was impatient.
+
+"Go on," he said.  "Don't stop now, I'm gettin' anxious."
+
+Barzilla rose to his feet.  "Here's your McKay man back again," he
+said.  "Let's go up to your house and have breakfast.  We can talk
+while we're eatin'.  I'm empty as a poorhouse boarder's
+pocketbook."
+
+
+CHAPTER VI
+
+AVIATION AND AVARICE
+
+
+Breakfast at Capt. Sol Berry's was a bountiful meal.  The depot
+master employed a middle-aged woman who came in each day, cooked
+his meals and did the housework, returning to her own home at
+night.  After Mr. Wingate had mowed a clean swath through ham and
+eggs, cornbread and coffee, and had reached the cooky and doughnut
+stage, he condescended to speak further concerning the stolen
+paper.
+
+"Well," he said, "Brown give me and Jonadab a serious talkin' to
+when he got us alone."
+
+"'Now, fellers,' he says, 'we know what we've got to do.  Nothin'll
+be too good for this shebang and us if we get that agreement back.
+Fust place, the thing was done a few minutes after the supper-bell
+rung.  That is, unless that 'Enry is in on the deal, which ain't
+unlikely, considerin' the price he could get from the Gordon gang.
+Was anybody late at the tables?'
+
+"Why, yes; there were quite a few late.  Two of the 'gunners,'
+who'd been on a forlorn-hope duck hunt; and a minister and his
+wife, out walkin' for their health; and Parker and two fellers from
+the football team, who'd been practicin'.
+
+"'Any of the waiters or the chambermaids?' asked Peter.
+
+"I'd been expectin' he'd ask that, and I hated to answer.
+
+"'One of the waiters was a little late,' says I.  'Willie wa'n't on
+hand immediate.  Said he went to wash his hands.'
+
+"Now the help gen'rally washed in the fo'castle--the servants'
+quarters, I mean--but there was a wash room on the floor where the
+Sterzer-Robinsons roomed.  Peter looked at Jonadab, and the two of
+'em at me.  And I had to own up that Willie had come downstairs
+from that wash room a few minutes after the bell rung.
+
+"'Hum!' says Peter T.  'Hum!' he says.  'Look here, Barzilla,
+didn't you tell me you knew that feller's real name, and that he
+had been studying law?'
+
+"'No,' says I, emphatic.  'I said 'twas law he was tryin' to get
+away from.  His tastes run large to literation and poetry.'
+
+"'Hum!' says Peter again.  'All papers are more or less literary--
+even trust agreements.  Hum!'
+
+"'All the same,' says I, 'I'll bet my Sunday beaver that HE never
+took it.'
+
+"They didn't answer, but looked solemn.  Then the three of us went
+on watch.
+
+"Nobody made a move to go out that evenin'.  I kept whatever mail
+was handed in, but there was nothin' that looked like any
+agreements, and nothin' addressed to Gordon or his lawyers.  At
+twelve or so, the detective come.  Peter drove up to the depot to
+meet the special.  He told the whole yarn on the way down.
+
+"The detective was a nice enough chap, and we agreed he should be
+'Mr. Snow,' of New York, gunnin' for health and ducks.  He said the
+watch must be kept up all night, and in the mornin' he'd make his
+fust move.  So said, so done.
+
+"And afore breakfast that next mornin' we called everybody into the
+dinin' room, boarders, help, stable hands, every last one.  And
+Peter made a little speech.  He said that a very valuable paper had
+been taken out of Mr. Robinson's room, and 'twas plain that it must
+be on the premises somewhere.  'Course, nobody was suspicioned,
+but, speakin' for himself, he'd feel better if his clothes and his
+room was searched through.  How'd the rest feel about it?
+
+"Well, they felt diff'rent ways, but Parker spoke up like a brick,
+and said he wouldn't rest easy till HIS belongin's was pawed over,
+and then the rest fell in line.  We went through everybody and
+every room on the place.  Found nothin', of course.  Snow--the
+detective--said he didn't expect to.  But I tell you there was some
+talkin' goin' on, just the same.  The minister, he hinted that he
+had some doubts about them dissipated gunners; and the gunners
+cal'lated they never see a parson yet wouldn't bear watchin'.  As
+for me, I felt like a pickpocket, and, judgin' from Jonadab's face,
+he felt the same.
+
+"The detective man swooped around quiet, bobbin' up in unexpected
+places, like a porpoise, and askin' questions once in a while.  He
+asked about most everybody, but about Willie, especial.  I judged
+Peter T. had dropped a hint to him and to Gabe.  Anyhow, the old
+critter give out that he wouldn't trust a poet with the silver
+handles on his grandmarm's coffin.  As for Grace, she acted
+dreadful nervous and worried.  Once I caught her swabbin' her eyes,
+as if she'd been cryin'; but I'd never seen her and Willie together
+but the one time I told you of.
+
+"Four days and nights crawled by.  No symptoms yet.  The Pinkertons
+was watchin' the Gordon lawyers' office in New York, and they
+reported that nothin' like that agreement had reached there.  And
+our own man--Snow--said he'd go bail it hadn't been smuggled off
+the premises sense HE struck port.  So 'twas safe so far; but where
+was it, and who had it?
+
+"The final football game, the one with Wapatomac, was to be played
+over on their grounds on the afternoon of the fifth day.  Parker,
+cap'n of the eleven, give out that, considerin' everything, he
+didn't know but we'd better call it off.  Old Robinson--Sterzer, of
+course--wouldn't hear of it.
+
+"'Not much,' says he.  'I wouldn't chance your losin' that game for
+forty papers.  You sail in and lick 'em!' or words to that effect.
+
+"So the eleven was to cruise across the bay in the Greased
+Lightnin', Peter's little motor launch, and the rooters was to go
+by train later on.  'Twas Parker's idee, goin' in the launch.
+'Twould be more quiet, less strain on the nerves of his men, and
+they could talk over plays and signals on the v'yage.
+
+"So at nine o'clock in the forenoon they was ready, the whole team--
+three waiters, two fishermen, one carpenter from up to Wellmouth
+Center, a stable hand, and Parker and three reg'lar boarders.
+These last three was friends of Parker's that he'd had come down
+some time afore.  He knew they could play football, he said, and
+they'd come to oblige him.
+
+"The eleven gathered on the front porch, all in togs and sweaters,
+principally provided and paid for by Sterzer.  Cap'n Parker had the
+ball under his arm, and the launch was waitin' ready at the
+landin'.  All the boarders--except Grace, who was upstairs in her
+room--and most of the help was standin' round to say good luck and
+good-by.
+
+"Snow, the detective, was there, and I whispered in his ear.
+
+"'Say,' I says, 'do you realize that for the fust time since the
+robbery here's a lot of folks leavin' the house?  How do you know
+but what--'
+
+"He winked and nodded brisk.  'I'll attend to that,' he says.
+
+"But he didn't have to.  Parker spoke fust, and took the wind out
+of his sails.
+
+"'Gentlemen,' says he, 'I don't know how the rest of you feel, but,
+as for me, I don't start without clear skirts.  I suggest that Mr.
+Brown and Mr. Wingate here search each one of us, thoroughly.  Who
+knows,' says he, laughin', 'but what I've got that precious stolen
+paper tucked inside my sweater?  Ha! ha!  Come on, fellers!  I'll
+be first.'
+
+"He tossed the ball into a chair and marched into the office, the
+rest of the players after him, takin' it as a big joke.  And there
+the searchin' was done, and done thorough, 'cause Peter asked Mr.
+Snow to help, and he knew how.  One thing was sure; Pa Gabe's
+agreement wa'n't hid about the persons of that football team.
+Everybody laughed--that is, all but the old man and the detective.
+Seemed to me that Snow was kind of disappointed, and I couldn't see
+why.  'Twa'n't likely any of THEM was thieves.
+
+"Cap'n Parker picked up his football and started off for the
+launch.  He'd got about ha'fway to the shore when Willie--who'd
+been stand-in' with the rest of the help, lookin' on--stepped
+for'ard pretty brisk and whispered in the ear of the Pinkerton man.
+The detective jumped, sort of, and looked surprised and mighty
+interested.
+
+"'By George!' says he.  'I never thought of that.'  Then he run to
+the edge of the piazza and called.
+
+"'Mr. Parker!' he sings out.  'Oh, Mr. Parker!'
+
+"Parker was at the top of the little rise that slopes away down to
+the landin'.  The rest of the eleven was scattered from the shore
+to the hotel steps.  He turns, without stoppin', and answers.
+
+"'What is it?' he sings out, kind of impatient.
+
+"'There's just one thing we forgot to look at,' shouts Snow.
+'Merely a matter of form, but just bring that--  Hey!  Stop him!
+Stop him!'
+
+"For Parker, instead of comin' back, had turned and was leggin' it
+for the launch as fast as he could, and that was some.
+
+"'Stop!' roars the Pinkerton man, jumpin' down the steps.  'Stop,
+or--'
+
+"'Hold him, Jim!' screeched Parker, over his shoulder.  One of the
+biggest men on the eleven--one of the three 'friends' who'd been so
+obligin' as to come down on purpose to play football--made a dive,
+caught the detective around the waist, and threw him flat.
+
+"'Go on, Ed!' he shouts.  'I've got him, all right.'
+
+"Ed--meanin' Parker--was goin' on, and goin' fast.  All hands
+seemed to be frozen stiff, me and Jonadab and Peter T. included.
+As for me, I couldn't make head nor tail of the doin's; things was
+comin' too quick for MY understandin'.
+
+"But there was one on that piazza who wa'n't froze.  Fur from it!
+Willie, the poet waiter, made a jump, swung his long legs over the
+porch-rail, hit the ground, and took after that Parker man like a
+cat after a field mouse.
+
+"Run!  I never see such runnin'!  He fairly flashed across that
+lawn and over the rise.  Parker was almost to the landin'; two more
+jumps and he'd been aboard the launch.  If he'd once got aboard, a
+turn of the switch and that electric craft would have had him out
+of danger in a shake.  But them two jumps was two too many.  Willie
+riz off the ground like a flyin' machine, turned his feet up and
+his head down, and lapped his arms around Parker's knees.  Down the
+pair of 'em went 'Ker-wallop!' and the football flew out of
+Parker's arms.
+
+"In an eyewink that poet was up, grabs the ball, and comes tearin'
+back toward us.
+
+"'Stop him!' shrieks Parker from astern.
+
+"'Head him off!  Tackle him!' bellers the big chap who was hangin'
+onto the detective.
+
+"They tell me that discipline and obeyin' orders is as much in
+football as 'tis aboard ship.  If that's so, every one of the Old
+Home House eleven was onto their jobs.  There was five men between
+Willie and the hotel, and they all bore down on him like bats on a
+June bug.
+
+"'Get him!' howls Parker, racin' to help.
+
+"'Down him!' chimes in big Jim, his knee in poor Snow's back.
+
+"'Run, Bearse!  Run!' whoops the Pinkerton man, liftin' his mouth
+out of the sand.
+
+"He run--don't you worry about that!  Likewise he dodged.  One chap
+swooped at him, and he ducked under his arms.  Another made a dive,
+and he jumped over him.  The third one he pushed one side with his
+hand.  'Pushed!' did I say?  'Knocked' would be better, for the
+feller--the carpenter 'twas--went over and over like a barrel
+rollin' down hill.  But there was two more left, and one of 'em was
+bound to have him.
+
+"Then a window upstairs banged open.
+
+"'Oh, Mr. Bearse!' screamed a voice--Grace Sterzer's voice.  'Don't
+let them get you!'
+
+"We all heard her, in spite of the shoutin' and racket.  Willie
+heard her, too.  The two fellers, one at each side, was almost on
+him, when he stopped, looked up, jumped back, and, as cool as a
+rain barrel in January, he dropped that ball and kicked it.
+
+"I can see that picture now, like a tableau at a church sociable.
+The fellers that was runnin', the others on the ground, and that
+literary pie passer with his foot swung up to his chin.
+
+"And the ball!  It sailed up and up in a long curve, began to drop,
+passed over the piazza roof, and out of sight.
+
+"'Lock your door, Miss Sterzer,' sung out Fred Bearse--'Willie' for
+short.  'Lock your door and keep that ball.  I think your father's
+paper is inside it.'
+
+"As sure as my name is Barzilla Wingate, he had kicked that
+football straight through the open window into old Gabe's room."
+
+The depot master whooped and slapped his knee.  Mr. Wingate grinned
+delightedly and continued:
+
+"There!" he went on, "the cat's out of the bag, and there ain't
+much more to tell.  Everybody made a bolt for the room, old Gabe
+and Peter T. in the lead.  Grace let her dad in, and the ball was
+ripped open in a hurry.  Sure enough!  Inside, between the leather
+and the rubber, was the missin' agreement.  Among the jubilations
+and praise services nobody thought of much else until Snow, the
+Pinkerton man, come upstairs, his clothes tore and his eyes and
+nose full of sand.
+
+"'Humph!' says he.  'You've got it, hey?  Good!  Well, you haven't
+got friend Parker.  Look!'
+
+"Such of us as could looked out of the window.  There was the
+launch, with Parker and his three 'friends' in it, headin' two-
+forty for blue water.
+
+"'Let 'em go,' says old Gabe, contented.  'I wouldn't arrest 'em if
+I could.  This is no police-station job.'
+
+"It come out afterwards that Parker was a young chap just from law
+school, who had gone to work for the firm of shysters who was
+attendin' to the Gordon interests.  They had tracked Sterzer to the
+Old Home House, and had put their new hand on the job of gettin'
+that agreement.  Fust he'd tried to shine up to Grace, but the
+shine--her part of it--had wore off.  Then he decided to steal it;
+and he done it, just how nobody knows.  Snow, the detective, says
+he cal'lates Henry, the servant, is wiser'n most folks thinks,
+fur's that's concerned.
+
+"Snow had found out about Parker inside of two days.  Soon's he got
+the report as to who he was, he was morally sartin that he was the
+thief.  He'd looked up Willie's record, too, and that was clear.
+In fact, Willie helped him consider'ble.  'Twas him that recognized
+Parker, havin' seen him play on a law-school team.  Also 'twas
+Willie who thought of the paper bein' in the football.
+
+"Land of love!  What a hero they made of that waiter!
+
+"'By the livin' Moses!' bubbles old Gabe, shakin' both the boy's
+hands.  'That was the finest run and tackle and the finest kick I
+ever saw anywhere.  I've seen every big game for ten years, and I
+never saw anything half so good.'
+
+"The Pinkerton man laughed.  'There's only one chap on earth who
+can kick like that.  Here he is,' layin' his hand on 'Willie's'
+shoulder.  Bearse, the All-American half-back last year.'
+
+"Gabe's mouth fell open.  'Not "Bung" Bearse, of Yarvard!' he sings
+out.  'Why! WHY!'
+
+"'Of course, father!' purrs his daughter, smilin' and happy.  'I
+knew him at once.  He and I were--er--slightly acquainted when I
+was at Highcliffe.'
+
+"'But--but "Bung" Bearse!' gasps the old gent.  'Why, you rascal!
+I saw you kick the goal that beat Haleton.  Your reputation is
+worldwide.'
+
+"Willie--Fred Bearse, that is--shook his head, sad and regretful.
+
+"'Thank you, Mr. Sterzer,' says he, in his gentle tenor.  'I have
+no desire to be famous in athletics.  My aspirations now are
+entirely literary.'
+
+"Well, he's got his literary job at last, bein' engaged as sportin'
+editor on one of Gabe's papers.  His dad, old Sol Bearse, seems to
+be pretty well satisfied, partic'lar as another engagement between
+the Bearse family and the Sterzers has just been given out."
+
+Barzilla helped himself to another doughnut.  His host leaned back
+in his chair and laughed uproariously.
+
+"Well, by the great and mighty!" he exclaimed, "that Willie chap
+certainly did fool you, didn't he.  You can't always tell about
+these college critters.  Sometimes they break out unexpected, like
+chickenpox in the 'Old Men's Home.'  Ha! ha!  Say, do you know Nate
+Scudder?"
+
+"Know him?  Course I know him!  The meanest man on the Cape, and
+livin' right in my own town, too!  Well, if I didn't know him I
+might trust him, and that would be the beginnin' of the end--for
+me."
+
+"It sartin would.  But what made me think of him was what he told
+me about his nephew, who was a college chap, consider'ble like your
+'Willie,' I jedge.  Nate and this nephew, Augustus Tolliver, was
+mixed up in that flyin'-machine business, you remember."
+
+"I know they was.  Mixed up with that Professor Dixland the papers
+are makin' such a fuss over.  Wellmouth's been crazy over it all,
+but it happened a year ago and nobody that I know of has got the
+straight inside facts about it yet.  Nate won't talk at all.
+Whenever you ask him he busts out swearin' and walks off.  His
+wife's got such a temper that nobody dared ask her, except the
+minister.  He tried it, and ain't been the same man since."
+
+"Well," the depot master smilingly scratched his chin, "I cal'late
+I've got those inside facts."
+
+"You HAVE?"
+
+"Yes.  Nate gave 'em to me, under protest.  You see, I know Nate
+pretty well.  I know some things about him that . . . but never
+mind that part.  I asked him and, at last, he told me.  I'll have
+to tell you in his words, 'cause half the fun was the way he told
+it and the way he looked at the whole business.  So you can imagine
+I'm Nate, and--"
+
+"'Twill be a big strain on my imagination to b'lieve you're Nate
+Scudder, Sol Berry."
+
+"Thanks.  However, you'll have to do it for a spell.  Well, Nate
+said that it really begun when the Professor and Olivia landed at
+the Wellmouth depot with the freight car full of junk.  Of course,
+the actual beginnin' was further back than that, when that Harmon
+man come on from Philadelphy and hunted him up, makin' proclamation
+that a friend of his, a Mr. Van Brunt of New York, had said that
+Scudder had a nice quiet island to let and maybe he could hire it.
+
+"Course Nate had an island--that little sun-dried sandbank a mile
+or so off shore, abreast his house, which we used to call
+'Horsefoot Bar.'  That crazy Van Brunt and his chum, Hartley, who
+lived there along with Sol Pratt a year or so ago, re-christened it
+'Ozone Island,' you remember.  Nate was willin' to let it.  He'd
+let Tophet, if he owned it, and a fool come along who wanted to
+hire it and could pay for the rent and heat.
+
+"So Nate and this Harmon feller rowed over to the Bar--to Ozone
+Island, I mean--and the desolation and loneliness of it seemed to
+suit him to perfection.  So did the old house and big barn and all
+the tumbledown buildin's stuck there in the beach-grass and sand.
+Afore they'd left they made a dicker.  He wa'n't the principal in
+it.  He was the private secretary and fust mate of Mr. Professor
+Ansel Hobart Dixland, the scientist--perhaps Scudder'd heard of
+him?
+
+"Perhaps he had, but if so, Nate forgot it, though he didn't tell
+him that.  Harmon ordered a fifteen-foot-high board fence built all
+around the house and barn, and made Nate swear not to tell a soul
+who was comin' nor anything.  Dixland might want the island two
+months, he said, or he might want it two years.  Nate didn't care.
+He was in for good pickin's, and begun to pick by slicin' a liberal
+commission off that fencebuildin' job.  There was a whole passel of
+letters back and forth between Nate and Harmon, and finally Nate
+got word to meet the victims at the depot.
+
+"There was the professor himself, an old dried-up relic with
+whiskers and a temper; and there was Miss Olivia Dixland, his niece
+and housekeeper, a slim, plain lookin' girl, who wore eyeglasses
+and a straight up and down dress.  And there was a freight car full
+of crates and boxes and land knows what all.  But nary sign was
+there of a private secretary and assistant.  The professor told
+Nate that Mr. Harmon's health had suddenly broke down and he'd had
+to be sent South.
+
+"'It's a calamity,' says he; 'a real calamity!  Harmon has been
+with me in my work from the beginnin'; and now, just as it is
+approachin' completion, he is taken away.  They say he may die.  It
+is very annoyin'.'
+
+"'Humph!' says Nate.  'Well, maybe it annoys HIM some, too; you
+can't tell.  What you goin' to do for a secretary?'
+
+"'I understand,' says the professor, 'that there is a person of
+consider'ble scientific attainment residin' with you, Mr. Scudder,
+at present.  Harmon met him while he was here; they were in the
+same class at college.  Harmon recommended him highly.  Olivia,' he
+says to the niece, 'what was the name of the young man whom Harmon
+recommended?'
+
+"'Tolliver, Uncle Ansel,' answers the girl, lookin' kind of
+disdainful at Nate.  Somehow he had the notion that she didn't take
+to him fust rate.
+
+"'Hey?' sings out Nate.  'Tolliver?  Why, that's Augustus!
+AUGUSTUS! well, I'll be switched!'
+
+"Augustus Tolliver was Nate's nephew from up Boston way.  Him and
+Nate was livin' together at that time.  Huldy Ann, Mrs. Scudder,
+was out West, in Omaha, takin' care of a cousin of hers who was a
+chronic invalid and, what's more to the purpose, owned a lot of
+stock in copper mines.
+
+"Augustus was a freckle-faced, spindle-shanked little critter, with
+spectacles and a soft, polite way of speakin' that made you want to
+build a fire under him to see if he could swear like a Christian.
+He had a big head with consider'ble hair on the top of it and
+nothin' underneath but what he called 'science' and 'sociology.'
+His science wa'n't nothin' but tommy-rot to Nate, and the
+'sociology' was some kind of drivel about everybody bein' equal to
+everybody else, or better.  'Seemed to think 'twas wrong to get a
+good price for a thing when you found a feller soft enough to pay
+it.  Did you ever hear the beat of that in your life?' says Nate.
+
+"However, Augustus had soaked so much science and sociology into
+that weak noddle of his that they kind of made him drunk, as you
+might say, and the doctor had sent him down to board with the
+Scudders and sleep it off.  'Nervous prostration' was the way he
+had his symptoms labeled, and the nerve part was all right, for if
+a hen flew at him he'd holler and run.  Scart! you never see such a
+scart cat in your born days.  Scart of a boat, scart of being
+seasick, scart of a gun, scart of everything!  Most special he was
+scart of Uncle Nate.  The said uncle kept him that way so's he
+wouldn't dast to kick at the grub him and Huldy Ann give him, I
+guess.
+
+"'Augustus Tolliver,' says old Dixland, noddin'.  'Yes, that is the
+name.  Has he had a sound scientific trainin'?'
+
+"'Scientific trainin'!' says Nate.  'Scientific trainin'?  Why, you
+bet he's had it!  That's the only kind of trainin' he HAS had.
+He'll be just the feller for you, Mr. Dixland.'
+
+"So that was settled, all but notifyin' Augustus.  But Scudder
+sighted another speculation in the offin', and hove alongside of
+it.
+
+"'Mr. Harmon, when he was here,' says he, 'he mentioned you needin'
+a nice, dependable man to live on the island and be sort of general
+roustabout.  My wife bein' away just now, and all, it struck me
+that I might as well be that man.  Maybe my terms'll seem a little
+high, at fust mention, but--'
+
+"'Very good,' says the professor, 'very good.  I'm sure you'll be
+satisfactory.  Now please see to the unloading of that car.  And be
+careful, VERY careful.'
+
+"Nate broke the news to Augustus that afternoon.  He had his nose
+stuck in a book, as usual, and never heard, so Nate yelled at him
+like a mate on a tramp steamer, just to keep in trainin'.
+
+"'Who?  Who?  Who?  What?  What?' squeals Augustus, jumpin' out of
+the chair as if there was pins in it.  'What is it?  Who did it?
+Oh, my poor nerves!'
+
+"'Drat your poor nerves!' Nate says.  'I've got a good promisin'
+job for you.  Listen to this.'
+
+"Then he told about the professor's wantin' Gus to be assistant and
+help do what the old man called 'experiments.'
+
+"'Dixland?' says Gus, 'Ansel Hobart Dixland, the great scientist!
+And I'm to be HIS assistant?  Assistant to the man who discovered
+DIXIUM and invented--'
+
+"'Oh, belay there!' snorts Nate, impatient.  Tell me this--he's
+awful rich, ain't he?'
+
+"'Why, I believe--yes, Harmon said he was.  But to think of MY
+bein'--'
+
+"'Now, nephew,' Nate cut in, 'let me talk to you a minute.  Me and
+your Aunt Huldy Ann have been mighty kind to you sence you've been
+here, and here's your chance to do us a good turn.  You stick close
+to science and the professor and let me attend to the finances.  If
+this family ain't well off pretty soon it won't be your Uncle
+Nate's fault.  Only don't you put your oar in where 'tain't
+needed.'
+
+"Lord love you, Gus didn't care about finances.  He was so full of
+joy at bein' made assistant to the great Ansel Whiskers Dixland
+that he forgot everything else, nerves and all.
+
+"So in another day the four of 'em was landed on Ozone Island and
+so was the freight-car load of crates and boxes.  Grub and
+necessaries was to be provided by Scudder--for salary as stated and
+commission understood.
+
+"It took Nate less than a week to find out what old Dixland was up
+to.  When he learned it, he set down in the sand and fairly snorted
+disgust.  The old idiot was cal'latin' to FLY.  Seems that for
+years he'd been experimentin' with what he called 'aeroplanes,' and
+now he'd reached the stage where he b'lieved he could flap his
+wings and soar.  'Thinks I,' says Nate, 'your life work's cut out
+for you, Nate Scudder.  You'll spend the rest of your days as
+gen'ral provider for the Ozone private asylum.'  Well, Scudder
+wa'n't complainin' none at the outlook.  He couldn't make a good
+livin' no easier.
+
+"The aeroplane was in sections in them boxes and crates.  Nate and
+Augustus and the professor got out the sections and fitted 'em
+together.  The buildin's on Ozone was all joined together--first
+the house, then the ell, then the wash-rooms and big sheds, and,
+finally, the barn.  There was doors connectin', and you could go
+from house to barn, both downstairs and up, without steppin'
+outside once.
+
+"'Twas in the barn that they built what Whiskers called the 'flyin'
+stage.'  'Twas a long chute arrangement on trestles, and the idea
+was that the aeroplane was to get her start by slidin' down the
+chute, out through the big doors and off by the atmosphere route to
+glory.  I say that was the IDEA.  In practice she worked different.
+
+"Twice the professor made proclamations that everything was ready,
+and twice they started that flyin' machine goin'.  The fust time
+Dixland was at the helm, and him and the aeroplane dropped headfust
+into the sandbank just outside the barn.  The machine was
+underneath, and the pieces of it acted as a fender, so all the
+professor fractured was his temper.  But it took ten days to get
+the contraption ready for the next fizzle.  Then poor, shaky, scart
+Augustus was pilot, and he went so deep into the bank that Nate
+says he wondered whether 'twas wuth while doin' anything but
+orderin' the gravestone.  But they dug him out at last, whole, but
+frightened blue, and his nerves was worse than ever after that.
+
+"Then old Dixland announces that he has discovered somethin' wrong
+in the principle of the thing, and they had to wait while he
+ordered some new fittin's from Boston.
+
+"Meanwhile there was other complications settin' in.  Scudder was
+kept busy providin' grub and such like and helpin' the niece,
+Olivia, with the housework.  Likewise he had his hands full keepin'
+the folks alongshore from findin' out what was goin' on.  All this
+flyin' foolishness had to be a dead secret.
+
+"But, busy as he was, he found time to notice the thick
+acquaintance that was developin' between Augustus and Olivia.  Them
+two was what the minister calls 'kindred sperrits.'  Seems she was
+sufferin' from science same as he was and, more'n that, she was
+loaded to the gunwale with 'social reform.'  To hear the pair of
+'em go on about helpin' the poor and 'settlement work' and such was
+enough, accordin' to Nate, to make you leave the table.  But there!
+He couldn't complain.  Olivia was her uncle's only heir, and Nate
+could see a rainbow of promise ahead for the Scudder family.
+
+"The niece was a nice, quiet girl.  The only thing Nate had against
+her, outside of the sociology craziness and her not seemin' to take
+a shine to him, was her confounded pets.  Nate said he never had no
+use for pets--lazy critters, eatin' up the victuals and costin'
+money--but Olivia was dead gone on 'em.  She adopted an old
+reprobate of a tom-cat, which she labeled 'Galileo,' after an
+Eyetalian who invented spyglasses or somethin' similar, and a great
+big ugly dog that answered to the hail of 'Phillips Brooks'; she
+named him that because she said the original Phillips was a
+distinguished parson and a great philanthropist.
+
+"That dog was a healthy philanthropist.  When Nate kicked him the
+first time, he chased him the whole length of the barn.  After that
+they had to keep him chained up.  He was just pinin' for a chance
+to swaller Scudder whole, and he showed it.
+
+"Well, as time went on, Olivia and Augustus got chummier and
+chummier.  Nate give 'em all the chance possible to be together,
+and as for old Professor Whiskers, all he thought of, anyway, was
+his blessed flyin' machine.  So things was shapin' themselves well,
+'cordin' to Scudder's notion.
+
+"One afternoon Nate come, unexpected, to the top of a sand hill at
+t'other end of the island, and there, below, set Olivia and
+Augustus.  He had a clove hitch 'round her waist, and they was
+lookin' into each other's spectacles as if they was windows in the
+pearly gates.  Thinks Nate: 'They've signed articles,' and he
+tiptoed away, feelin' that life wa'n't altogether an empty dream.
+
+"They was lively hours, them that followed.  To begin with, when
+Nate got back to the barn he found the professor layin' on the
+floor, under the flyin' stage, groanin' soulful but dismal.  He'd
+slipped off one of the braces of the trestles and sprained both
+wrists and bruised himself till he wa'n't much more than one big
+lump.  He hadn't bruised his tongue none to speak of, though, and
+his language wa'n't sprained so that you'd notice it.  What broke
+him up most of all was that he'd got his aeroplane ready to 'fly'
+again, and now he was knocked out so's he couldn't be aboard when
+she went off the ways.
+
+"'It is the irony of fate,' says he.
+
+"'I got it off the blacksmith over to Wellmouth Centre,' Nate told
+him; 'but HE might have got it from Fate, or whoever you mean.
+'Twas slippery iron, I know that, and I warned you against steppin'
+on it yesterday.'
+
+"The professor more'n hinted that Nate was a dunderhead idiot, and
+then he commenced to holler for Tolliver; he wanted to see Tolliver
+right off.  Scudder thought he'd ought to see a doctor, but he
+wouldn't, so Nate plastered him up best he could, got him into the
+big chair in the front room, and went huntin' Augustus.  Him and
+Olivia was still camped in the sand bank.  Gus's right arm had got
+tired by this time, I cal'late, but he had a new hitch with his
+left.  Likewise they was still starin' into each other's specs.
+
+"'Excuse me for interruptin' the mesmerism,' says Nate, 'but the
+professor wants to see you.'
+
+"They jumped and broke away.  But it took more'n that to bring 'em
+down out of the clouds.  They'd been flyin' a good sight higher
+than the old aeroplane had yet.
+
+"'Uncle Nathan,' says Augustus, gettin' up and shakin' hands, 'I
+have the most wonderful news for you.  It's hardly believable.
+You'll never guess it.'
+
+"'Give me three guesses and I'll win on the fust,' says Nate.  'You
+two are engaged.'
+
+"They looked at him as if he'd done somethin' wonderful.  'But,
+Uncle,' says Gus, shakin' hands again, 'just think! she's actually
+consented to marry me.'
+
+"'Well, that's gen'rally understood to be a part of engagin', ain't
+it?'  says Nate.  'I'm glad to hear it.  Miss Dixiand, I
+congratulate you.  You've got a fine, promisin' young man.'
+
+"That, to Nate's notion, was about the biggest lie he ever told,
+but Olivia swallered it for gospel.  She seemed to thaw toward
+Scudder a little mite, but 'twa'n't at a permanent melt, by no
+means.
+
+"'Thank you, Mr. Scudder,' says she, still pretty frosty.  'I am
+full aware of Mr. Tolliver's merits.  I'm glad to learn that YOU
+recognize them.  He has told some things concernin' his stay at
+your home which--'
+
+"'Yes, yes,' says Nate, kind of hurried.  'Well, I'm sorry to dump
+bad news into a puddle of happiness like this, but your Uncle
+Ansel, Miss Dixland, has been tryin' to fly without his machine,
+and he's sorry for it.'
+
+"Then he told what had happened to the professor, and Olivia
+started on the run for the house.  Augustus was goin', too, but
+Nate held him back.
+
+"'Wait a minute, Gus,' says he.  'Walk along with me; I want to
+talk with you.  Now, as an older man, your nighest relation, and
+one that's come to love you like a son--yes, sir, like a son--I
+think it's my duty just now to say a word of advice.  You're goin'
+to marry a nice girl that's comin' in for a lot of money one of
+these days.  The professor, he's kind of old, his roof leaks
+consider'ble, and this trouble is likely to hurry the end along.
+
+"'Now, then,' Nate goes on, 'Augustus, my boy, what are you and
+that simple, childlike girl goin' to do with all that money?  How
+are you goin' to take care of it?  You and 'Livia--you mustn't mind
+my callin' her that 'cause she's goin' to be one of the family so
+soon--you'll want to be fussin' with science and such, and you
+won't have no time to attend to the finances.  You'll need a good,
+safe person to be your financial manager.  Well, you know me and
+you know your Aunt Huldy Ann.  WE know all about financin'; WE'VE
+had experience.  You just let us handle the bonds and coupons and
+them trifles.  We'll invest 'em for you.  We'll be yours and
+'Livia's financial managers.  As for our wages, maybe they'll seem
+a little high, but that's easy arranged.  And--'
+
+"Gus interrupted then.  'Oh, that's all settled,' he says.  'Olivia
+and I have planned all that.  When we're married we shall devote
+our lives to social work--to settlement work.  All the money we
+ever get we shall use to help the poor.  WE don't want any of it.
+We shall live AMONG the poor, live just as frugally as they do.
+Our money we shall give--every cent of it--to charity and--'
+
+"'Lord sakes!' yells Nate, 'DON'T talk that way!  Don't!  Be you
+crazy, too?  Why--'
+
+"But Gus went on, talkin' a steady streak about livin' in a little
+tenement in what he called the 'slums' and chuckin' the money to
+this tramp and that, till Nate's head was whirlin'.  'Twa'n't no
+joke.  He meant it and so did she, and they was just the pair of
+loons to do it, too.
+
+"Afore Nate had a chance to think up anything sensible to say,
+Olivia comes hollerin' for Gus to hurry.  Off he went, and Nate
+followed along, holdin' his head and staggerin' like a voter comin'
+home from a political candidate's picnic.  All he could think of
+was: 'THIS the end of all my plannin'!  What--WHAT'LL Huldy Ann say
+to THIS?'
+
+"Nate found the professor bolstered up in his chair, with the other
+two standin' alongside.  He was layin' down the law about that
+blessed aeroplane.
+
+"'No! no! NO! I tell you!' he roars, 'I'll see no doctor.  My
+invention is ready at last, and, if I'm goin' to die, I'll die
+successful.  Tolliver, you've been a faithful worker with me, and
+yours shall be the privilege of makin' the first flight.  Wheel me
+to the window, Olivia, and let me see my triumph.'
+
+"But Olivia didn't move.  Instead, she looked at Augustus and he at
+her.  'Wheel me to the window!' yells Dixland.  'Tolliver, what are
+you waitin' for?  The doors are open, the aeroplane is ready.  Go
+this instant and fly.'
+
+"Augustus was a bird all right, 'cordin' to Nate's opinion, but he
+didn't seem anxious to spread his wings.  He was white, and them
+nerves of his was all in a twitter.  If ever there was a scart
+critter, 'twas him then.
+
+"'Go out and fly,' says Nate to him, pretty average ugly.  'Don't
+you hear the boss's order?  Here, professor, I'll push you to the
+window.'
+
+"'Thank you, Scudder,' says Dixland.  And then turnin' to Gus:
+'Well, sir, may I ask why you wait?'
+
+"'Twas Olivia that answered.  'Uncle Ansel,' says she, 'I must tell
+you somethin'.  I should have preferred tellin' you privately,' she
+puts in, glarin' at Nate, 'but it seems I can't.  Mr. Tolliver and
+I are engaged to be married.'
+
+"Old Whiskers didn't seem to care a continental.  All he had in his
+addled head was that flyin' contraption.
+
+"'All right, all right,' he snaps, fretty, 'I'm satisfied.  He
+appears to be a decent young man enough.  But now I want him to
+start my aeroplane.'
+
+"'No, Uncle Ansel,' goes on Olivia, 'I cannot permit him to risk
+his life in that way.  His nerves are not strong and neither is his
+heart.  Besides, the aeroplane has failed twice.  Luckily no one
+was killed in the other trials, but the chances are that the third
+time may prove fatal.'
+
+"'Fatal, you imbecile!' shrieks the professor.  'It's perfected, I
+tell you!  I--'
+
+"'It makes no difference.  No, uncle, Augustus and I have made up
+our minds.  His life and health are too precious; he must be spared
+for the grand work that we are to do together.  No, Uncle Ansel, he
+shall NOT fly.'
+
+"Did you ever see a cat in a fit?  That was the professor just
+then, so Nate said.  He tried to wave his sprained wrists and
+couldn't; tried to stamp his foot and found it too lame.  But his
+eyeglasses flashed sparks and his tongue spit fire.
+
+"'Are you goin' to start that machine?' he screams at the blue-
+white, shaky Augustus.
+
+"'No, Professor Dixland,' stammers Gus.  'No, sir, I'm sorry, but--'
+
+"'Why don't you ask Mr. Scudder to make the experiment, uncle?'
+suggests that confounded niece, smilin' the spitefullest smile.
+
+"'Scudder,' says the professor, 'I'll give you five thousand
+dollars cash to start in that aeroplane this moment.'
+
+"For a jiffy Nate was staggered.  Five thousand dollars CASH--whew!
+But then he thought of how deep Gus had been shoved into that
+sandbank.  And there was a new and more powerful motor aboard the
+thing now.  Five thousand dollars ain't much good to a telescoped
+corpse.  He fetched a long breath.
+
+"'Well, now, Mr. Dixland,' he says, 'I'd like to, fust rate, but
+you see I don't know nothin' about mechanics.'
+
+"'Professor--' begins Augustus.  'Twas the final straw.  Old
+Whiskers jumped out of the chair, lameness and all.
+
+"'Out of this house, you ingrate!' he bellers.  'Out this instant!
+I discharge you.  Go! go!'
+
+"He was actually frothin' at the mouth.  I cal'late Olivia thought
+he was goin' to die, for she run to him.
+
+"'You'd better go, I think,' says she to her shakin' beau.  'Go,
+dear, now.  I must stay with him for the present, but we will see
+each other soon.  Go now, and trust me.'
+
+"'I disown you, you ungrateful girl,' foams her uncle.  'Scudder, I
+order you to put that--that creature off this island.'
+
+"'Yes, sir,' says Nate, polite; 'in about two shakes of a heifer's
+tail.'
+
+"He started for Augustus, and Gus started for the door.  I guess
+Olivia might have interfered, but just then the professor keels
+over in a kind of faint and she had to tend to him.  Gus darts out
+of the door with Nate after him.  Scudder reached the beach just as
+his nephew was shovin' off in the boat, bound for the mainland.
+
+"'Consarn your empty head!' Nate yelled after him.  'See what you
+get by not mindin' me, don't you?  I'm runnin' things on this
+island after this.  I'm boss here; understand?  When you're ready
+to sign a paper deedin' over ha'f that money your wife's goin' to
+get to me and Huldy Ann, maybe I'll let you come back.  And perhaps
+then I'll square things for you with Dixland.  But if you dare to
+set foot on these premises until then I'll murder you; I'll drown
+you; I'll cut you up for bait; I'll feed you to the dog.'
+
+"He sculled off, his oars rattlin' 'Hark from the tomb' in the
+rowlocks.  He b'lieved Nate meant it all.  Oh, Scudder had HIM
+trained all right."
+
+
+CHAPTER VII
+
+CAPTAIN SOL DECIDES TO MOVE
+
+
+"Trust Nate for that," interrupted Wingate.  "He's just as much a
+born bully as he is a cheat and a skinflint."
+
+"Yup," went on Captain Sol.  "Well, when Nate got back to the house
+the professor was alone in the chair, lookin' sick and weak.
+Olivia was up in her room havin' a cryin' fit.  Nate got the old
+man to bed, made him some clam soup and hot tea, and fetched and
+carried for him like he was a baby.  The professor's talk was
+mainly about the ungrateful desertion, as he called it, of his
+assistant.
+
+"'Keep him away from this island,' he says.  'If he comes, I shall
+commit murder; I know it.'
+
+"Scudder promised that Augustus shouldn't come back.  The professor
+wanted guard kept night and day.  Nate said he didn't know's he
+could afford so much time, and Dixland doubled his wages on the
+spot.  So Nate agreed to stand double watches, made him comfort'ble
+for the night, and left him.
+
+"Olivia didn't come downstairs again.  She didn't seem to want any
+supper, but Nate did and had it, a good one.  Galileo, the cat,
+came yowlin' around, and Nate kicked him under the sofy.  Phillips
+Brooks was howlin' starvation in the woodshed, and Scudder let him
+howl.  If he starved to death Nate wouldn't put no flowers on his
+grave.  Take it altogether, he was havin' a fairly good time.
+
+"And when, later on, he set alone up in his room over the kitchen,
+he begun to have a better one.  Prospects looked good.  Maybe old
+Dixland WOULD disown his niece.  If he did, Nate figgered he was as
+healthy a candidate for adoption as anybody.  And Augustus would
+have to come to terms or stay single.  That is, unless him and
+Olivia got married on nothin' a week, paid yearly.  Nate guessed
+Huldy Ann would think he'd managed pretty well.
+
+"He set there for a long while, thinkin', and then he says he
+cal'lates he must have dozed off.  At any rate, next thing he knew
+he was settin' up straight in his chair, listenin'.  It seemed to
+him that he'd heard a sound in the kitchen underneath.
+
+"He looked out of the window, and right away he noticed somethin'.
+'Twas a beautiful, clear moonlight night, and the high board fence
+around the buildin's showed black against the white sand.  And in
+that white strip was a ten-foot white gape.  Nate had shut that
+gate afore he went upstairs.  Who'd opened it?  Then he heard the
+noise in the kitchen again.  Somebody was talkin' down there.
+
+"Nate got up and tiptoed acrost the room.  He was in his stockin'
+feet, so he didn't make a sound.  He reached into the corner and
+took out his old duck gun.  It was loaded, both barrels.  Nate
+cocked the gun and crept down the back stairs.
+
+"There was a lamp burnin' low on the kitchen table, and there, in a
+couple of chairs hauled as close together as they could be, set
+that Olivia niece and Augustus.  They was in a clove hitch again
+and whisperin' soft and slushy.
+
+"My! but Scudder was b'ilin'!  He give one jump and landed in the
+middle of that kitchen floor.
+
+"'You--you--you!' he yelled, wavin' the shotgun.  'You're back
+here, are you?  You know what I told you I'd do to you?  Well, now,
+I'll do it.'
+
+"The pair of 'em had jumped about as far as Nate had, only the
+opposite way.  Augustus was a paralyzed statue, but Olivia had her
+senses with her.
+
+"'Run, Augustus!' she screamed.  'He'll shoot you.  Run!'
+
+"And then, with a screech like a siren whistle, Augustus commenced
+to run.  Nate was between him and the outside door, so he bolted
+headfirst into the dining room.  And after him went Nate Scudder,
+so crazy mad he didn't know what he was doin'.
+
+"'Twas pitch dark in the dining room, but through it they went
+rattlety bang! dishes smashin', chairs upsettin' and 'hurrah,
+boys!' to pay gen'rally.  Then through the best parlor and into the
+front hall.
+
+"I cal'late Nate would have had him at the foot of the front stairs
+if it hadn't been for Galileo.  That cat had been asleep on the
+sofy, and the noise and hullabaloo had stirred him up till he was
+as crazy as the rest of 'em.  He run right under Nate's feet and
+down went Nate sprawlin' and both barrels of the shotgun bust loose
+like a couple of cannon.
+
+"Galileo took for tall timber, whoopin' anthems.  Up them front
+stairs went Augustus, screechin' shrill, like a woman; he was SURE
+Nate meant to murder him now.  And after him his uncle went on all
+fours, swearin' tremendous.
+
+"Then 'twas through one bedroom after another, and each one more
+crowded with noisy, smashable things than that previous.  Nate said
+he could remember the professor roarin' 'Fire!' and 'Help!' as the
+two of 'em bumped into his bed, but they didn't stop--they was too
+busy.  The whole length of the house upstairs they traveled, then
+through the ell, then the woodshed loft, and finally out into the
+upper story of the barn.  And there Nate knew he had him.  The
+ladder was down.
+
+"'Now!' says Nate.  'Now, you long-legged villain, if I don't give
+you what's comin' to you, then--  Oh, there ain't no use in your
+climbin' out there; you can't get down.'
+
+"The big barn doors was open, and, in the moonlight, Nate could see
+Gus scramblin' up and around on the flyin' stage where the
+professor's aeroplane was perched, lookin' like some kind of
+magnified June bug.
+
+"'Come back, you fool!' Scudder yelled at him.  'Come back and be
+butchered.  You might as well; it's too high for you to drop.  You
+won't?  Then I'll come after you.'
+
+"Nate says he never shall forget Augustus's face in the blue light
+when he see his uncle climbin' out on that stage after him.  He was
+simply desperate--that's it, desperate.  And the next thing he did
+was jump into the saddle of the machine and pull the startin'
+lever.
+
+"There was the buzz of the electric motor, a slippery, slidin'
+sound, one awful hair-raisin' whoop from Augustus, and then--
+'F-s-s-s-t!'--down the flyin' stage whizzed that aeroplane and out
+through the doors.
+
+"Nate set down on the trestles and waited for the sound of the
+smash.  I guess he actually felt conscience stricken.  Of course,
+he'd only done his duty, and yet--
+
+"But no smash came.  Instead, there was a long scream from the
+kitchen--Olivia's voice that was.  And then another yell that for
+pure joy beat anything ever heard.
+
+"'It flies!' screamed Professor Ansel Hobart Whiskers Dixland, from
+his bedroom window.  'At last!  At last!  It FLIES!'
+
+"It took Nate some few minutes to paw his way back through the shed
+loft and the ell over the things him and Gus knocked down on the
+fust lap, until he got to his room where the trouble had started.
+Then he went down to the kitchen and outdoor.
+
+"Olivia, a heavenly sort of look on her face, was standin' in the
+moonlight, with her hands clasped, lookin' up at the sky.
+
+"'It flies!' says she, in a kind of whisper over and over again.
+'Oh! it FLIES!'
+
+"Alongside of her was old Dixland, wrapped in a bedquilt,
+forgettin' all about sprains and lameness; and he likewise was
+staring at the sky and sayin' over and over:
+
+"'It flies!  It really FLIES!'
+
+"And Nate looked up, and there, scootin' around in circles, now up
+high and now down low, tippin' this way and tippin' that, was that
+aeroplane.  And in the stillness you could hear the buzz of the
+motor and the yells of Augustus.
+
+"Down flopped Scudder in the sand.  'Great land of love,' he says,
+'it FLIES!'
+
+"Well, for five minutes or so they watched that thing swoop and
+duck and sail up there overhead.  And then, slow and easy as a
+feather in a May breeze, down she flutters and lands soft on a
+hummock a little ways off.  And that Augustus--a fool for luck--
+staggers out of it safe and sound, and sets down and begins to cry.
+
+"The fust thing to reach him was Olivia.  She grabbed him around
+the neck, and you never heard such goin's on as them two had.  Nate
+come hurryin' up.
+
+"'Here you!' he says, pullin' 'em apart.  'That's enough of this.
+And you,' he adds to Gus, 'clear right out off this island.  I
+won't make shark bait of you this time, but--'
+
+"And then comes Dixland, hippity-hop over the hummocks.  'My noble
+boy!' he sings out, fallin' all of a heap onto Augustus's round
+shoulders.  'My noble boy!  My hero!'
+
+"Nate looked on for a full minute with his mouth open.  Olivia went
+away toward the house.  The professor and Gus was sheddin' tears
+like a couple of waterin' pots.
+
+"'Come! come!' says Scudder finally; 'get up, Mr. Dixland; you'll
+catch cold.  Now then, you Tolliver, toddle right along to your
+boat.  Don't you worry, professor, I'll fix him so's he won't come
+here no more.'
+
+"But the professor turned on him like a flash.
+
+"'How dare you interfere?' says he.  'I forgive him everything.  He
+is a hero.  Why, man, he FLEW!'
+
+"Olivia came up behind and touched Nate on the shoulders.  'Don't
+you think you'd better go, Mr. Scudder?' she purred.  'I've
+unchained Phillips Brooks.'
+
+"Nate swears he never made better time than he done gettin' to the
+shore and the boat Augustus had come over in.  But that
+philanthropist dog only missed the supper he'd been waitin' for by
+about a foot and a half, even as 'twas.
+
+"And that was the end of it, fur's Nate was concerned.  Olivia was
+boss from then on, and Scudder wa'n't allowed to land on his own
+island.  And pretty soon they all went away, flyin' machine and
+all, and now Gus and Olivia are married."
+
+"Well, by gum!" cried Wingate.  "Say, that must have broke Nate's
+heart completely.  All that good money goin' to the poor.  Ha! ha!"
+
+"Yes," said Captain Sol, with a broad grin.  "Nate told me that
+every time he realized that Gus's flyin' at all was due to his
+scarin' him into it, it fairly made him sick of life."
+
+"What did Huldy Ann say?  I'll bet the fur flew when SHE heard of
+it!"
+
+"I guess likely it did.  Scudder says her jawin's was the worst of
+all.  Her principal complaint was that he didn't take up with the
+professor's five-thousand offer and try to fly.  'What if 'twas
+risky?' she says.  'If anything happened to you the five thousand
+would have come to your heirs, wouldn't it?  But no! you never
+think of no one but yourself.'"
+
+Mr. Wingate glanced at his watch.  "Good land!" he cried, "I didn't
+realize 'twas so late.  I must trot along down and meet Stitt.  He
+and I are goin' to corner the clam market."
+
+"I must be goin', too," said the depot master, rising and moving
+toward the door, picking up his cap on the way.  He threw open the
+door and exclaimed, "Hello! here's Sim.  What you got on your mind,
+Sim?"
+
+Mr. Phinney looked rather solemn.  "I wanted to speak with you a
+minute, Sol," he began.  "Hello! Barzilla, I didn't know you was
+here."
+
+"I shan't be here but one second longer," replied Mr. Wingate, as
+he and Phinney shook hands.  "I'm late already.  Bailey'll think I
+ain't comin'.  Good-by, boys.  See you this afternoon, maybe."
+
+"Yes, do," cried Berry, as his guest hurried down to the gate.  "I
+want to hear about those automobiles over your way.  You ain't
+bought one, have you, Barzilla?"
+
+Wingate grinned over his shoulder.  "No," he called, "I ain't.  But
+other folks you know have.  It's the biggest joke on earth.  You
+and Sim'll want to hear it."
+
+He waved a big hand and walked briskly up the Shore Road.  The
+depot master turned to his friend.
+
+"Well, Sim?" he asked.
+
+"Well, Sol," answered the building mover gravely, "I've just met
+Mr. Hilton, the minister, and he told me somethin' about Olive
+Edwards, somethin' I thought you'd want to know.  You said for me
+to find out what she was cal'latin' to do when she had to give up
+her home and--"
+
+"I know what I said," interrupted the depot master rather sharply.
+"What did Hilton say?"
+
+"Mr. Hilton told me not to tell," continued Phinney, "and I shan't
+tell nobody but you, Sol.  I know you wont t mention it.  The
+minister says that Olive's hard up as she can be.  All she's got in
+the world is the little furniture and store stuff in her house.
+The store stuff don't amount to nothin', but the furniture belonged
+to her pa and ma, and she set a heap by it.  Likewise, as everybody
+knows, she's awful proud and self-respectin'.  Anything like
+charity would kill her.  Now out West--in Omaha or somewheres--
+she's got a cousin who owed her dad money.  Old Cap'n Seabury lent
+this Omaha man two or three thousand dollars and set him up in
+business.  Course, the debt's outlawed, but Olive don't realize
+that, or, if she did, it wouldn't count with her.  She couldn't
+understand how law would have any effect on payin' money you
+honestly owe.  She's written to the Omaha cousin, tellin' him what
+a scrape she's in and askin' him to please, if convenient, let her
+have a thousand or so on account.  She figgers if she gets that,
+she can go to Bayport or Orham or somewheres and open another
+notion store."
+
+Captain Berry lit a cigar.  "Hum!" he said, after a minute.  "You
+say she's written to this chap.  Has she got an answer yet?"
+
+"No, not any definite one.  She heard from the man's wife sayin'
+that her husband--the cousin--had gone on a fishin' trip somewheres
+up in Canady and wouldn't be back afore the eighth of next month.
+Soon's he does come he'll write her.  But Mr. Hilton thinks, and so
+do I--havin' heard a few things about this cousin--that it's mighty
+doubtful if he sends any money."
+
+"Yes, I shouldn't wonder.  Where's Olive goin' to stay while she's
+waitin' to hear?"
+
+"In her own house.  Mr. Hilton went to Williams and pleaded with
+him, and he finally agreed to let her stay there until the
+'Colonial' is moved onto the lot.  Then the Edwardses house'll be
+tore down and Olive'll have to go, of course."
+
+The depot master puffed thoughtfully at his cigar.
+
+"She won't hear before the tenth, at the earliest," he said.  "And
+if Williams begins to move his 'Colonial' at once, he'll get it to
+her lot by the seventh, sure.  Have you given him your figures for
+the job?"
+
+"Handed 'em in this very mornin'.  One of his high-and-mighty
+servants, all brass buttons and braid, like a feller playin' in the
+band, took my letter and condescended to say he'd pass it on to
+Williams.  I'd liked to have kicked the critter, just to see if he
+COULD unbend; but I jedged 'twouldn't be good business."
+
+"Probably not.  If the 'Colonial' gets to Olive's lot afore she
+hears from the Omaha man, what then?"
+
+"Well, that's the worst of it.  The minister don't know what she'll
+do.  There's plenty of places where she'd be more'n welcome to
+visit a spell, but she's too proud to accept.  Mr. Hilton's afraid
+she'll start for Boston to hunt up a job, or somethin'.  You know
+how much chance she stands of gettin' a job that's wuth anything."
+
+Phinney paused, anxiously awaiting his companion's reply.  When it
+came it was very unsatisfactory.
+
+"I'm goin' to the depot," said the Captain, brusquely.  "So long,
+Sim."
+
+He slammed the door of the house behind him, strode to the gate,
+flung it open, and marched on.  Simeon gazed in astonishment, then
+hurried to overtake him.  Ranging alongside, he endeavored to
+reopen the conversation, but to no purpose.  The depot master would
+not talk.  They turned into Cross Street.
+
+"Well!" exclaimed Mr. Phinney, panting from his unaccustomed hurry,
+"what be we, runnin' a race?  Why! . . .  Oh, how d'ye do, Mr.
+Williams, sir?  Want to see me, do you?"
+
+The magnate of East Harniss stepped forward.
+
+"Er--Phinney," he said, " I want a moment of your time.  Morning,
+Berry."
+
+"Mornin', Williams," observed Captain Sol brusquely.  "All right,
+Sim.  I'll wait for you farther on."
+
+He continued his walk.  The building mover stood still.  Mr.
+Williams frowned with lofty indignation.
+
+"Phinney," he said, "I've just looked over those figures of yours,
+your bid for moving my new house.  The price is ridiculous."
+
+Simeon attempted a pleasantry.  "Yes," he answered, "I thought
+'twas ridic'lous myself; but I needed the money, so I thought I
+could afford to be funny."
+
+The Williams frown deepened.
+
+"I didn't mean ridiculously low," he snapped; "I meant ridiculously
+high.  I'd rather help out you town fellows if I can, but you can't
+work me for a good thing.  I've written to Colt and Adams, of
+Boston, and accepted their offer.  You had your chance and didn't
+see fit to take it.  That's all.  I'm sorry."
+
+Simeon was angry; also a trifle skeptical.
+
+"Mr. Williams," he demanded, "do you mean to tell me that THEM
+people have agreed to move you cheaper'n I can?"
+
+"Their price--their actual price may be no lower; but considering
+their up-to-date outfit and--er--progressive methods, they're
+cheaper.  Yes.  Morning, Phinney."
+
+He turned on his heel and walked off.  Mr. Phinney, crestfallen and
+angrier than ever, moved on to where the depot master stood waiting
+for him.  Captain Sol smiled grimly.
+
+"You don't look merry as a Christmas tree, Sim," he observed.
+"What did his Majesty have to say to you?"
+
+Simeon related the talk with Williams.  The depot master's grim
+smile grew broader.
+
+"Sim," he asked, with quiet sarcasm, "don't you realize that
+progressive methods are necessary in movin' a house?"
+
+Phinney tried to smile in return, but the attempt was a failure.
+
+"Yes," went on the Captain.  "Well, if you can't take the Grand
+Panjandrum home, you can set on the fence and see him go by.  That
+ought to be honor enough, hadn't it?  However, I may need some of
+your ridiculous figgers on a movin' job of my own, pretty soon.
+Don't be TOO comical, will you?"
+
+"What do you mean by that, Sol Berry?"
+
+"I mean that I may decide to move my own house."
+
+"Move your OWN house?  Where to, for mercy sakes?"
+
+"To that lot on Main Street that belongs to Abner Payne.  Abner has
+wanted to buy my lot here on the Shore Road for a long time.  He
+knows it'll make a fine site for some rich bigbug's summer
+'cottage.'  He would have bought the house, too, but I think too
+much of that to sell it.  Now Abner's come back with another offer.
+He'll swap my lot for the Main Street one, pay my movin' expenses
+and a fair 'boot' besides.  He don't really care for my HOUSE, you
+understand; it's my LAND he's after."
+
+"Are you goin' to take it up?"
+
+"I don't know.  The Main Street lot's a good one, and my house'll
+look good on it.  And I'll make money by the deal."
+
+"Yes, but you've always swore by that saltwater view of yours.
+Told me yourself you never wanted to live anywheres else."
+
+Captain Sol took the cigar from his lips, looked at it, then threw
+it violently into the gutter.
+
+"What difference does it make where I live?" he snarled.  "Who in
+blazes cares where I live or whether I live at all?"
+
+"Sol Berry, what on airth--"
+
+"Shut up!  Let me alone, Sim!  I ain't fit company for anybody just
+now.  Clear out, there's a good feller."
+
+The next moment he was striding down the hill.  Mr. Phinney drew a
+long breath, scratched his head and shook it solemnly.  WHAT did it
+all mean?
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII
+
+THE OBLIGATIONS OF A GENTLEMAN
+
+
+The methods of Messrs. Colt and Adams, the Boston firm of building
+movers, were certainly progressive, if promptness in getting to
+work is any criterion.  Two days after the acceptance of their
+terms by Mr. Williams, a freight car full of apparatus arrived at
+East Harniss.  Then came a foreman and a gang of laborers.  Horses
+were hired, and within a week the "pure Colonial" was off its
+foundations and on its way to the Edwards lot.  The moving was no
+light task.  The big house must be brought along the Shore Road to
+the junction with the Hill Boulevard, then swung into that
+aristocratic highway and carried up the long slope, around the wide
+curve, to its destination.
+
+Mr. Phinney, though he hated the whole operation, those having it
+in charge, and the mighty Williams especially, could not resist
+stealing down to see how his successful rivals were progressing
+with the work he had hoped to do.  It caused him much chagrin to
+see that they were getting on so very well.  One morning, after
+breakfast, as he stood at the corner of the Boulevard and the Shore
+Road, he found himself engaged in a mental calculation.
+
+Three days more and they would swing into the Boulevard; four or
+five days after that and they would be abreast the Edwards lot.
+Another day and . . . Poor Olive!  She would be homeless.  Where
+would she go?  It was too early for a reply from the Omaha cousin,
+but Simeon, having questioned the minister, had little hope that
+that reply would be favorable.  Still it was a chance, and if the
+money SHOULD come before the "pure Colonial" reached the Edwards
+lot, then the widow would at least not be driven penniless from her
+home.  She would have to leave that home in any event, but she
+could carry out her project of opening another shop in one of the
+neighboring towns.  Otherwise . . . Mr. Phinney swore aloud.
+
+"Humph!" said a voice behind him.  "I agree with you, though I
+don't know what it's all about.  I ain't heard anything better put
+for a long while."
+
+Simeon spun around, as he said afterwards, "like a young one's
+pinwheel."  At his elbow stood Captain Berry, the depot master,
+hands in pockets, cigar in mouth, the personification of calmness
+and imperturbability.  He had come out of his house, which stood
+close to the corner, and walked over to join his friend.
+
+"Land of love!" exclaimed Simeon.  "Why don't you scare a fellow to
+death, tiptoein' around?  I never see such a cat-foot critter!"
+
+Captain Sol smiled.  "Jumpin' it, ain't they?" he said, nodding
+toward the "Colonial."  "Be there by the tenth, won't it?"
+
+"Tenth!" Mr. Phinney sniffed disgust.  "It'll be there by the
+sixth, or I miss my guess."
+
+"Yup.  Say, Sim, how soon could you land that shanty of mine in the
+road if I give you the job to move it?"
+
+"I couldn't get it up to the Main Street lot inside of a
+fortnight," replied Sim, after a moment's reflection.  "Fur's
+gettin' it in the road goes, I could have it here day after to-
+morrow if I had gang enough."
+
+The depot master took the cigar out of his mouth and blew a ring of
+smoke.  "All right," he drawled, "get gang enough."
+
+Phinney jumped.  "You mean you've decided to take up with Payne's
+offer and swap your lot for his?" he gasped.  "Why, only two or
+three days ago you said--"
+
+"Ya-as.  That was two or three days ago, and I've been watchin' the
+'Colonial' since.  I cal'late the movin' habit's catchin'.  You
+have your gang here by noon to-day."
+
+"Sol Berry, are you crazy?  You ain't seen Abner Payne; he's out of
+town--"
+
+"Don't have to see him.  He's made me an offer and I'll write and
+accept it."
+
+"But you've got to have a selectmen's permit to move--"
+
+"Got it.  I went up and saw the chairman an hour ago.  He's a
+friend of mine.  I nominated him town-meetin' day."
+
+"But," stammered Phinney, very much upset by the suddenness of it
+all, "you ain't got my price nor--"
+
+"Drat your price!  Give it when I ask it.  See here, Sim, are you
+goin' to have my house in the middle of the road by day after to-
+morrer?  Or was that just talk?"
+
+"'Twa'n't talk.  I can have it there, but--"
+
+"All right," said Captain Sol coolly, "then have it."
+
+Hands in pockets, he strolled away.  Simeon sat down on a rock by
+the roadside and whistled.
+
+However, whistling was a luxurious and time-wasting method of
+expressing amazement, and Mr. Phinney could not afford luxuries
+just then.  For the rest of that day he was a busy man.  As Bailey
+Stitt expressed it, he "flew round like a sand flea in a mitten,"
+hiring laborers, engaging masons, and getting his materials ready.
+That very afternoon the masons began tearing down the chimneys of
+the little Berry house.  Before the close of the following day it
+was on the rollers.  By two of the day after that it was in the
+middle of the Shore Road, just when its mover had declared it
+should be.  They were moving it, furniture and all, and Captain Sol
+was, as he said, going to "stay right aboard all the voyage."  No
+cooking could be done, of course, but the Captain arranged to eat
+at Mrs. Higgins's hospitable table during the transit.  His sudden
+freak was furnishing material for gossip throughout the village,
+but he did not care.  Gossip concerning his actions was the last
+thing in the world to trouble Captain Sol Berry.
+
+The Williams's "Colonial" was moving toward the corner at a rapid
+rate, and the foreman of the Boston moving firm walked over to see
+Mr. Phinney.
+
+"Say," he observed to Simeon, who, the perspiration streaming down
+his face, was resting for a moment before recommencing his labor of
+arranging rollers; "say," observed the foreman, "we'll be ready to
+turn into the Boulevard by tomorrer night and you're blockin' the
+way."
+
+"That's all right," said Simeon, "we'll be past the Boulevard
+corner by that time."
+
+He thought he was speaking the truth, but next morning, before work
+began, Captain Berry appeared.  He had had breakfast and strolled
+around to the scene of operations.
+
+"Well," asked Phinney, "how'd it seem to sleep on wheels?"
+
+"Tiptop," replied the depot master.  "Like it fust rate.  S'pose my
+next berth will be somewheres up there, won't it?"
+
+He was pointing around the corner instead of straight ahead.
+Simeon gaped, his mouth open.
+
+"Up THERE?" he cried.  "Why, of course not.  That's the Boulevard.
+We're goin' along the Shore Road."
+
+"That so?  I guess not.  We're goin' by the Boulevard.  Can go that
+way, can't we?"
+
+"Can?" repeated Simeon aghast.  "Course we CAN!  But it's like
+boxin' the whole compass backward to get ha'f a p'int east of
+no'th.  It's way round Robin Hood's barn.  It'll take twice as long
+and cost--"
+
+"That's good," interrupted the Captain.  "I like to travel, and I'm
+willin' to pay for it.  Think of the view I'll get on the way."
+
+"But your permit from the selectmen--" began Phinney.  Berry held
+up his hand.
+
+"My permit never said nothin' about the course to take," he
+answered, his eye twinkling just a little.  "There, Sim, you're
+wastin' time.  I move by the Hill Boulevard."
+
+And into the Boulevard swung the Berry house.  The Colt and Adams
+foreman was an angry man when he saw the beams laid in that
+direction.  He rushed over and asked profane and pointed questions.
+
+"Thought you said you was goin' straight ahead?" he demanded.
+
+"Thought I was," replied Simeon, "but, you see, I'm only navigator
+of this craft, not owner."
+
+"Where is the blankety blank?" asked the foreman.
+
+"If you're referrin' to Cap'n Berry, I cal'late you'll find him at
+the depot," answered Phinney.  To the depot went the foreman.
+Receiving little satisfaction there, he hurried to the home of his
+employer, Mr. Williams.  The magnate, red-faced and angry, returned
+with him to the station.  Captain Sol received them blandly.  Issy,
+who heard the interview which followed, declared that the depot
+master was so cool that "an iceberg was a bonfire 'longside of
+him."  Issy's description of this interview, given to a dozen
+townspeople within the next three hours, was as follows:
+
+"Mr. Williams," said the wide-eyed Issy, "he comes postin' into the
+waitin' room, his foreman with him.  Williams marches over to Cap'n
+Sol and he says, 'Berry,' he says, 'are you responsible for the way
+that house of yours is moved?'
+
+"Cap'n Sol bowed and smiled.  'Yes,' says he, sweet as a fresh
+scallop.
+
+"'You're movin' it to Main Street, aren't you?  I so understood.'
+
+"'You understood correct.  That's where she's bound.'
+
+"'Then what do you mean by turning out of your road and into mine?'
+
+"'Oh, I don't own any road.  Have you bought the Boulevard?  The
+selectmen ought to have told us that.  I s'posed it was town
+thoroughfare.'
+
+"Mr. Williams colored up a little.  'I didn't mean my road in that
+sense,' he says.  'But the direct way to Main Street is along the
+shore, and everybody knows it.  Now why do you turn from that into
+the Boulevard?'
+
+"Cap'n Sol took a cigar from his pocket.  'Have one?' says he,
+passin' it toward Mr. Williams.  'No?  Too soon after breakfast, I
+s'pose.  Why do I turn off?' he goes on.  'Well, I'll tell you.
+I'm goin' to stay right aboard my shack while it's movin', and it's
+so much pleasanter a ride up the hill that I thought I'd go that
+way.  I always envied them who could afford a house on the
+Boulevard, and now I've got the chance to have one there--for a
+spell.  I'm sartin I shall enjoy it.'
+
+"The foreman growled, disgusted.  Mr. Williams got redder yet.
+
+"'Don't you understand?' he snorts.  'You're blockin' the way of
+the house I'M movin'.  I have capable men with adequate apparatus
+to move it, and they would be able to go twice as fast as your one-
+horse country outfit.  You're blockin' the road.  Now they must
+follow you.  It's an outrage!'
+
+"Cap'n Sol smiled once more.  'Too bad,' says he.  'It's a pity
+such a nice street ain't wider.  If it was my street in my town--I
+b'lieve that's what you call East Harniss, ain't it?--seems to me
+I'd widen it.'
+
+"The boss of 'my town' ground his heel into the sand.  'Berry,' he
+snaps, 'are you goin' to move that house over the Boulevard ahead
+of mine?'
+
+"The Cap'n looked him square in the eye.  'Williams,' says he, 'I
+am.'
+
+"The millionaire turned short and started to go.
+
+"'You'll pay for it,' he snarls, his temper gettin' free at last.
+
+"'I cal'late to,' purrs the Cap'n.  'I gen'rally do pay for what I
+want, and a fair price, at that.  I never bought in cheap mortgages
+and held 'em for clubs over poor folks, never in my life.  Good
+mornin'.'
+
+"And right to Mr. Williams's own face, too," concluded Issy.  "WHAT
+do you think of that?"
+
+Here was defiance of authority and dignity, a sensation which
+should have racked East Harniss from end to end.  But most of the
+men in the village, the tradespeople particularly, had another
+matter on their minds, namely, Major Cuthbertson Scott Hardee, of
+"Silverleaf Hall."  The Major and his debts were causing serious
+worriment.
+
+The creditors of the Major met, according to agreement, on the
+Monday evening following their previous gathering at the club.
+Obed Gott, one of the first to arrive, greeted his fellow members
+with an air of gloomy triumph and a sort of condescending pity.
+
+Higgins, the "general store" keeper, acting as self-appointed
+chairman, asked if anyone had anything to report.  For himself, he
+had seen the Major and asked point-blank for payment of his bill.
+The Major had been very polite and was apparently much concerned
+that his fellow townsmen should have been inconvenienced by any
+neglect of his.  He would write to his attorneys at once, so he
+said.
+
+"He said a whole lot more, too," added Higgins.  "Said he had never
+been better served than by the folks in this town, and that I kept
+a fine store, and so on and so forth.  But I haven't got any money
+yet.  Anybody else had any better luck?"
+
+No one had, although several had had similar interviews with the
+master of "Silverleaf Hall."
+
+"Obed looks as if he knew somethin'," remarked Weeks.  "What is it,
+Obed?"
+
+Mr. Gott scornfully waved his hand.
+
+"You fellers make me laugh," he said.  "You talk and talk, but you
+don't do nothin'.  I b'lieve in doin', myself.  When I went home
+t'other night, thinks I: 'There's one man that might know somethin'
+'bout old Hardee, and that's Godfrey, the hotel man.'  So I wrote
+to Godfrey up to Boston and I got a letter from him.  Here 'tis."
+
+He read the letter aloud.  Mr. Godfrey wrote that he knew nothing
+about Major Hardee further than that he had been able to get
+nothing from him in payment for his board.
+
+"So I seized his trunk," the letter concluded.  "There was nothing
+in it worth mentioning, but I took it on principle.  The Major told
+me a lot about writing to his attorneys for money, but I didn't pay
+much attention to that.  I'm afraid he's an old fraud, but I can't
+help liking him, and if I had kept on running my hotel I guess he
+would have got away scot-free."
+
+"There!" exclaimed the triumphant Obed, with a sneer, "I guess that
+settles it, don't it?  Maybe you'd be willin' to turn your bills
+over to Squire Baker now."
+
+But they were not willing.  Higgins argued, and justly, that
+although the Major was in all probability a fraud, not even a
+lawyer could get water out of a stone, and that when a man had
+nothing, suing him was a waste of time and cash.
+
+"Besides," he said, "there's just a chance that he may have
+attorneys and property somewheres else.  Let's write him a letter
+and every one of us sign it, tellin' him that we'll call on him
+Tuesday night expectin' to be paid in full.  If we call and don't
+get any satisfaction, why, we ain't any worse off, and then we can--
+well, run him out of town, if nothin' more."
+
+So the letter was written and signed by every man there.  It was a
+long list of signatures and an alarming total of indebtedness.  The
+letter was posted that night.
+
+The days that followed seemed long to Obed.  He was ill-natured at
+home and ugly at the shop, and Polena declared that he was "gettin'
+so a body couldn't live with him."  Her own spirits were remarkably
+high, and Obed noticed that, as the days went by, she seemed to be
+unusually excited.  On Thursday she announced that she was going to
+Orham to visit her niece, one Sarah Emma Cahoon, and wouldn't be
+back right off.  He knew better than to object, and so she went.
+
+That evening each of the signers of the letter to Major Hardee
+received a courteous note saying that the Major would be pleased to
+receive the gentlemen at the Hall.  Nothing was said about payment.
+
+So, after some discussion, the creditors marched in procession
+across the fields and up to "Silverleaf Hall."
+
+"Hardee's been to Orham to-day," whispered the keeper of the livery
+stable, as they entered the yard.  "He drove over this mornin' and
+come back to-night."
+
+"DROVE over!" exclaimed Obed, halting in his tracks.  "He did?
+Where'd he get the team?  I'll bet five dollars you was soft enough
+to let him have it, and never said a word.  Well, if you ain't--
+By jimmy! you wait till I get at him!  I'll show you that he can't
+soft soap me."
+
+Augustus met them at the door and ushered them into the old-
+fashioned parlor.  The Major, calm, cool, and imperturbably polite,
+was waiting to receive them.  He made some observation concerning
+the weather.
+
+"The day's fine enough," interrupted Obed, pushing to the front,
+"but that ain't what we come here to talk about.  Are you goin' to
+pay us what you owe?  That's what we want to know."
+
+The "gentleman of the old school" did not answer immediately.
+Instead he turned to the solemn servant at his elbow.
+
+"Augustus," he said, "you may make ready."  Then, looking serenely
+at the irate Mr. Gott, whose clenched fist rested under the center
+table, which he had thumped to emphasize his demands, the Major
+asked:
+
+"I beg your pardon, my dear sir, but what is the total of my
+indebtedness to you?"
+
+"Nineteen dollars and twenty-eight cents, and I want you to
+understand that--"
+
+Major Hardee held up a slim, white hand.
+
+"One moment, if you please," he said.  "Now, Augustus."
+
+Augustus opened the desk in the corner and produced an imposing
+stack of bank notes.  Then he brought forth neat piles of halves,
+quarters, dimes, and pennies, and arranged the whole upon the
+table.  Obed's mouth and those of his companions gaped in
+amazement.
+
+"Have you your bill with you, Mr. Gott?" inquired the Major.
+
+Dazedly Mr. Gott produced the required document.
+
+"Thank you.  Augustus, nineteen twenty-eight to this gentleman.
+Kindly receipt the bill, Mr. Gott, if you please.  A mere
+formality, of course, but it is well to be exact.  Thank you, sir.
+And now, Mr. Higgins."
+
+One by one the creditors shamefacedly stepped forward, received the
+amount due, receipted the bill, and stepped back again.  Mr.
+Peters, the photographer, was the last to sign.
+
+"Gentlemen," said the Major, "I am sorry that my carelessness in
+financial matters should have caused you this trouble, but now that
+you are here, a representative gathering of East Harniss's men of
+affairs, upon this night of all nights, it seems fitting that I
+should ask for your congratulations.  Augustus."
+
+The wooden-faced Augustus retired to the next room and reappeared
+carrying a tray upon which were a decanter and glasses.
+
+"Gentlemen," continued the Major, "I have often testified to my
+admiration and regard for your--perhaps I may now say OUR--charming
+village.  This admiration and regard has extended to the fair
+daughters of the township.  It may be that some of you have
+conscientious scruples against the use of intoxicants.  These
+scruples I respect, but I am sure that none of you will refuse to
+at least taste a glass of wine with me when I tell you that I have
+this day taken one of the fairest to love and cherish during life."
+
+He stepped to the door of the dining room, opened it, and said
+quietly, "My dear, will you honor us with your presence?"
+
+There was a rustle of black silk and there came through the doorway
+the stately form of her who had been Mrs. Polena Ginn.
+
+"Gentlemen," said the Major, "permit me to present to you my wife,
+the new mistress of 'Silverleaf Hall.'"
+
+The faces of the ex-creditors were pictures of astonishment.  Mr.
+Gott's expressive countenance turned white, then red, and then
+settled to a mottled shade, almost as if he had the measles.
+Polena rushed to his side.
+
+"O Obed!" she exclaimed.  "I know we'd ought to have told you, but
+'twas only Tuesday the Major asked me, and we thought we'd keep it
+a secret so's to s'prise you.  Mr. Langworthy over to Orham married
+us, and--"
+
+"My dear," her husband blandly interrupted, "we will not intrude
+our private affairs upon the patience of these good friends.  And
+now, gentlemen, let me propose a toast: To the health and happiness
+of the mistress of 'Silverleaf Hall'!  Brother Obed, I--"
+
+The outside door closed with a slam; "Brother Obed" had fled.
+
+A little later, when the rest of the former creditors of the Major
+came out into the moonlight, they found their companion standing by
+the gate gazing stonily into vacancy.  "Hen" Leadbetter, who, with
+Higgins, brought up the rear of the procession, said reflectively:
+
+"When he fust fetched out that stack of money I couldn't scarcely
+b'lieve my eyes.  I begun to think that we fellers had put our foot
+in it for sartin, and had lost a mighty good customer; but, of
+course, it's all plain enough NOW."
+
+"Yes," remarked Weeks with a nod; "I allers heard that P'lena kept
+a mighty good balance in the bank."
+
+"It looks to me," said Higgins slyly, "as if we owed Obed here a
+vote of thanks.  How 'bout that, Obed?"
+
+And then Major Hardee's new brother-in-law awoke with a jump.
+
+"Aw, you go to grass!" he snarled, and tramped savagely off down
+the hill.
+
+
+CHAPTER IX
+
+THE WIDOW BASSETT
+
+
+These developments, Major Hardee's marriage and Mr. Gott's
+discomfiture, overshadowed, for the time, local interest in the
+depot master's house moving.  This was, in its way, rather
+fortunate, for those who took the trouble to walk down to the lower
+end of the Boulevard were astonished to see how very slowly the
+moving was progressing.
+
+"Only one horse, Sim?" asked Captain Hiram Baker.  "Only one!  Why,
+it'll take you forever to get through, won't it?"
+
+"I'm afraid it'll take quite a spell," admitted Mr. Phinney.
+
+"Where's your other one, the white one?"
+
+"The white horse," said Simeon slowly, "ain't feelin' just right
+and I've had to lay him off."
+
+"Humph! that's too bad.  How does Sol act about it?  He's such a
+hustler, I should think--"
+
+"Sol," interrupted Sim, "ain't unreasonable.  He understands."
+
+He chuckled inwardly as he said it.  Captain Sol did understand.
+Also Mr. Phinney himself was beginning to understand a little.
+
+The very day on which Williams and his foreman had called on the
+depot master and been dismissed so unceremoniously, that official
+paid a short visit to his mover.
+
+"Sim," he said, the twinkle still in his eye, "his Majesty,
+Williams the Conqueror, was in to see me just now and acted real
+peevish.  He was pretty disrespectful to you, too.  Called your
+outfit 'one horse.'  That's a mistake, because you've got two
+horses at work right now.  It seems a shame to make a great man
+like that lie.  Hadn't you better lay off one of them horses?"
+
+"Lay one OFF?" exclaimed Simeon.  "What for?  Why, we'll be slow
+enough, as 'tis.  With only one horse we wouldn't get through for I
+don't know how long."
+
+"That's so," murmured the Captain.  "I s'pose with one horse you'd
+hardly reach the middle of the Boulevard by--well, before the tenth
+of the month.  Hey?"
+
+The tenth of the month!  The TENTH!  Why, it was on the tenth that
+that Omaha cousin of Olive Edwards was to--Mr. Phinney began to
+see--to see and to grin, slow but expansive.
+
+"Hm-m-m!" he mused.
+
+"Yes," observed Captain Sol.  "That white horse of yours looks sort
+of ailin' to me, Sim.  I think he needs a rest."
+
+And, sure enough, next day the white horse was pronounced unfit and
+taken back to the stable.  The depot master's dwelling moved, but
+that is all one could say truthfully concerning its progress.
+
+At the depot the Captain was quieter than usual.  He joked with his
+assistant less than had been his custom, and for the omission Issy
+was duly grateful.  Sometimes Captain Sol would sit for minutes
+without speaking.  He seemed to be thinking and to be pondering
+some grave problem.  When his friends, Mr. Wingate, Captain Stitt,
+Hiram Baker, and the rest, dropped in on him he cheered up and was
+as conversational as ever.  After they had gone he relapsed into
+his former quiet mood.
+
+"He acts sort of blue, to me," declared Issy, speaking from the
+depths of sensational-novel knowledge.  "If he was a younger man
+I'd say he was most likely in love.  Ah, hum!  I s'pose bein' in
+love does get a feller mournful, don't it?"
+
+Issy made this declaration to his mother only.  He knew better than
+to mention sentiment to male acquaintances.  The latter were
+altogether too likely to ask embarrassing questions.
+
+Mr. Wingate and Captain Stitt were still in town, although their
+stay was drawing to a close.  One afternoon they entered the
+station together.  Captain Sol seemed glad to see them.
+
+"Set down, fellers," he ordered.  "I swan I'm glad to see you.  I
+ain't fit company for myself these days."
+
+"Ain't Betsy Higgins feedin' you up to the mark?" asked Stitt.  "Or
+is house movin' gettin' on your vitals?"
+
+"No," growled the depot master, "grub's all right and so's movin',
+I cal'late.  I'm glad you fellers come in.  What's the news to
+Orham, Barzilla?  How's the Old Home House boarders standin' it?
+Hear from Jonadab regular, do you?"
+
+Mr. Wingate laughed.  "Nothin' much," he said.  "Jonadab's too busy
+to write these days.  Bein' a sport interferes with letter writing
+consider'ble."
+
+"Sport!" exclaimed Captain Bailey.  "Land of Goshen!  Cap'n Jonadab
+is the last one I'd call a sport."
+
+"That's 'cause you ain't a good judge of human nature, Bailey,"
+chuckled Barzilla.  "When ancient plants like Jonadab Wixon DO
+bloom, they're gay old blossoms, I tell you!"
+
+"What do you mean?" asked the depot master.
+
+"I mean that Jonadab's been givin' me heart disease, that's what;
+givin' it to me in a good many diff'rent ways, too.  We opened the
+Old Home House the middle of April this year, because Peter T.
+Brown thought we might catch some spring trade.  We did catch a
+little, though whether it paid to open up so early's a question.
+But 'twas June 'fore Jonadab got his disease so awful bad.
+However, most any time in the last part of May the reg'lar
+programme of the male boarders was stirrin' him up.
+
+"Take it of a dull day, for instance.  Sky overcast and the wind
+aidgin' round to the sou'east, so's you couldn't tell whether
+'twould rain or fair off; too cold to go off to the ledge cod
+fishin' and too hot for billiards or bowlin'; a bunch of the
+younger women folks at one end of the piazza playin' bridge; half a
+dozen men, includin' me and Cap'n Jonadab, smokin' and tryin' to
+keep awake at t'other end; amidships a gang of females--all 'fresh
+air fiends'--and mainly widows or discards in the matrimony deal,
+doin' fancywork and gossip.  That would be about the usual layout.
+
+"Conversation got to you in homeopath doses, somethin' like this:
+
+"'Did you say "Spades"?  WELL! if I'd known you were going to make
+us lose our deal like that, I'd never have bridged it--not with
+THIS hand.'
+
+"'Oh, Miss Gabble, have you heard what people are sayin' about--'
+The rest of it whispers.
+
+"'A--oo--OW!  By George, Bill! this is dead enough, isn't it?
+Shall we match for the cigars or are you too lazy?'
+
+"Then, from away off in the stillness would come a drawn-out 'Honk!
+honk!' like a wild goose with the asthma, and pretty soon up the
+road would come sailin' a big red automobile, loaded to the guards
+with goggles and grandeur, and whiz past the hotel in a hurricane
+of dust and smell.  Then all hands would set up and look
+interested, and Bill would wink acrost at his chum and drawl:
+
+"'That's the way to get over the country!  Why, a horse isn't one--
+two--three with that!  Cap'n Wixon, I'm surprised that a sportin'
+man like you hasn't bought one of those things long afore this.'
+
+"For the next twenty minutes there wouldn't be any dullness.
+Jonadab would take care of that.  He'd have the floor and be givin'
+his opinions of autos and them that owned and run 'em.  And between
+the drops of his language shower you'd see them boarders nudgin'
+each other and rockin' back and forth contented and joyful.
+
+"It always worked.  No matter what time of day or night, all you
+had to say was 'auto' and Cap'n Jonadab would sail up out of his
+chair like one of them hot-air balloons the youngsters nowadays
+have on Fourth of July.  And he wouldn't come down till he was
+empty of remarks, nuther.  You never see a man get so red faced and
+eloquent.
+
+"It wa'n't because he couldn't afford one himself.  I know that's
+the usual reason for them kind of ascensions, but 'twa'n't his.
+No, sir! the summer hotel business has put a considerable number of
+dollars in Jonadab's hands, and the said hands are like a patent
+rat trap, a mighty sight easier to get into than out of.  He could
+have bought three automobiles if he'd wanted to, but he didn't want
+to.  And the reason he didn't was named Tobias Loveland and lived
+over to Orham."
+
+"I know Tobias," interrupted Captain Bailey Stitt.
+
+"Course you do," continued Barzilla.  "So does Sol, I guess.  Well,
+anyhow, Tobias and Cap'n Jonadab never did hitch.  When they was
+boys together at school they was always rowin' and fightin', and
+when they grew up to be thirty and courted the same girl--ten years
+younger than either of 'em, she was--twa'n't much better.  Neither
+of 'em got her, as a matter of fact; she married a tin peddler
+named Bassett over to Hyannis.  But both cal'lated they would have
+won if t'other hadn't been in the race, and consequently they loved
+each other with a love that passed understandin'.  Tobias had got
+well to do in the cranberry-raisin' line and drove a fast horse.
+Jonadab, durin' the last prosperous year or two, had bought what he
+thought was some horse, likewise.  They met on the road one day
+last spring and trotted alongside one another for a mile.  At the
+end of that mile Jonadab's craft's jib boom was just astern of
+Tobias's rudder.  Inside of that week the Cap'n had swapped his
+horse for one with a two-thirty record, and the next time they met
+Tobias was left with a beautiful, but dusty, view of Jonadab's back
+hair.  So HE bought a new horse.  And that was the beginnin'.
+
+"It went along that way for twelve months.  Fust one feller's nag
+would come home freighted with perspiration and glory, and then
+t'other's.  One week Jonadab would be so bloated with horse pride
+that he couldn't find room for his vittles, and the next he'd be
+out in the stable growlin' 'cause it cost so much for hay to stuff
+an old hide rack that wa'n't fit to put in a museum.  At last it
+got so that neither one could find a better horse on the Cape, and
+the two they had was practically an even match.  I begun to have
+hopes that the foolishness was over.  And then the tin peddler's
+widow drifts in to upset the whole calabash.
+
+"She made port at Orham fust, this Henrietta Bassett did, and the
+style she slung killed every female Goliath in the Orham sewin'
+circle dead.  Seems her husband that was had been an inventor, as a
+sort of side line to peddlin' tinware, and all to once he invented
+somethin' that worked.  He made money--nobody knew how much, though
+all hands had a guess--and pretty soon afterwards he made a will
+and Henrietta a widow.  She'd been livin' in New York, so she said,
+and had come back to revisit the scenes of her childhood.  She was
+a mighty well-preserved woman--artificial preservatives, I
+cal'late, like some kinds of tomatter ketchup--and her comin'
+stirred Orham way down to the burnt places on the bottom of the
+kettle."
+
+"I guess I remember HER, too," put in Captain Bailey.
+
+"Say!" queried Mr. Wingate snappishly, "do you want to tell about
+her?  If you do, why--"
+
+"Belay, both of you!" ordered the depot master.  "Heave ahead,
+Barzilla."
+
+"The news of her got over to Wellmouth, and me and Jonadab heard of
+it.  He was some subject to widows--most widower men are, I guess--
+but he didn't develop no alarmin' symptoms in this case and never
+even hinted that he'd like to see his old girl.  Fact is, his
+newest horse trade had showed that it was afraid of automobiles,
+and he was beginnin' to get rabid along that line.  Then come that
+afternoon when him and me was out drivin' together, and we--  Well,
+I'll have to tell you about that.
+
+"We was over on the long stretch of wood road between Trumet and
+Denboro, nice hard macadam, the mare--her name was Celia, but
+Jonadab had re-christened her Bay Queen after a boat he used to
+own--skimmin' along at a smooth, easy gait, when, lo and behold
+you! we rounds a turn and there ahead of us is a light, rubber-
+tired wagon with a man and woman on the seat of it.  I heard
+Jonadab give a kind of snort.
+
+"'What's the matter?' says I.
+
+"'Nothin',' says he, between his teeth.  'Only, if I ain't some
+mistaken, that's Tobe Loveland's rig.  Wonder if he's got his spunk
+with him?  The Queen's feelin' her oats to-day, and I cal'late I
+can show him a few things.'
+
+"'Rubbish!' says I, disgusted.  'Don't be foolish, Jonadab.  I
+don't know nothin' about his spunk, but I do know there's a woman
+with him.  'Tain't likely he'll want to race you when he's got a
+passenger aboard.'
+
+"'Oh, I don't know!' says he.  'I've got you, Barzilla; so 'twill
+be two and two.  Let's heave alongside and see.'
+
+"So he clucked to the Queen, and in a jiffy we was astern of
+t'other rig.  Loveland looked back over his shoulder.
+
+"'Ugh!' he grunts, 'bout as cordial as a plate of ice cream.  ''Lo,
+Wixon, that you?'
+
+"'Um-hm,' begins Jonadab.  'How's that crowbait of yours to-day,
+Tobe?  Got any go in him?  'Cause if he has, I--'
+
+"He stopped short.  The woman in Loveland's carriage had turned her
+head and was starin' hard.
+
+"'Why!' she gasps.  'I do believe--  Why, Jonadab!'
+
+"'HETTIE!' says the Cap'n.
+
+"Well, after that 'twas pull up, of course, and shake hands and
+talk.  The widow, she done most of the talkin'.  She was SO glad to
+see him.  How had he been all these years?  She knew him instantly.
+He hadn't changed a mite--that is, not so VERY much.  She was
+plannin' to come over to the Old Home House and stay a spell later
+on; but now she was havin' SUCH a good time in Orham, Tobias--Mr.
+Loveland--was makin' it SO pleasant for her.  She did enjoy drivin'
+so much, and Mr. Loveland had the fastest horse in the county--did
+we know that?
+
+"Tobias and Jonadab glowered back and forth while all this gush was
+bein' turned loose, and hardly spoke to one another.  But when
+'twas over and we was ready to start again, the Cap'n says, says
+he:
+
+"'I'll be mighty glad to see you over to the hotel, when you're
+ready to come, Hettie.  I can take you ridin', too.  Fur's horse
+goes, I've got a pretty good one myself.'
+
+"'Oh!' squeals the widow.  'Really?  Is that him?  It's awful
+pretty, and he looks fast.'
+
+"'She is,' says Jonadab.  'There's nothin' round here can beat
+her.'
+
+"'Humph!' says Loveland.  'Git dap!'
+
+"'Git dap!' says Jonadab, agreein' with him for once.
+
+"Tobias started, and we started.  Tobias makes his horse go a
+little faster, and Jonadab speeded up some likewise.  I see how
+'twas goin' to be, and therefore I wa'n't surprised to death when
+the next ten minutes found us sizzlin' down that road, neck and
+neck with Loveland, dust flyin', hoofs poundin', and the two
+drivers leanin' way for'ard over the dash, reins gripped and teeth
+sot.  For a little ways 'twas an even thing, and then we commenced
+to pull ahead a little.
+
+"'Loveland,' yells Jonadab, out of the port corner of his mouth,
+'if I ain't showin' you my tailboard by the time we pass the fust
+house in Denboro, I'll eat my Sunday hat.'
+
+"I cal'late he would 'a' beat, too.  We was drawin' ahead all the
+time and had a three-quarter length lead when we swung clear of the
+woods and sighted Denboro village, quarter of a mile away.  And up
+the road comes flyin' a big auto, goin' to beat the cars.
+
+"Let's forget the next few minutes; they wa'n't pleasant ones for
+me.  Soon's the Bay Queen sot eyes on that auto, she stopped
+trottin' and commenced to hop; from hoppin' she changed to waltzin'
+and high jumpin'.  When the smoke had cleared, the auto was out of
+sight and we was in the bushes alongside the road, with the Queen
+just gettin' ready to climb a tree.  As for Tobias and Henrietta,
+they was roundin' the turn by the fust house in Denboro, wavin' by-
+bys to us over the back of the seat.
+
+"We went home then; and every foot of the way Cap'n Jonadab called
+an automobile a new kind of name, and none complimentary.  The
+boarders, they got wind of what had happened and begun to rag him,
+and the more they ragged, the madder he got and the more down on
+autos.
+
+"And, to put a head on the whole business, I'm blessed if Tobias
+Loveland didn't get in with an automobile agent who was stoppin' in
+Orham and buy a fifteen-hundred-dollar machine off him.  And the
+very next time Jonadab was out with the Queen on the Denboro road,
+Tobias and the widow whizzed past him in that car so fast he might
+as well have been hove to.  And, by way of rubbin' it in, they come
+along back pretty soon and rolled alongside of him easy, while
+Henrietta gushed about Mr. Loveland's beautiful car and how nice it
+was to be able to go just as swift as you wanted to.  Jonadab
+couldn't answer back, nuther, bein' too busy keepin' the Queen from
+turnin' herself into a flyin' machine.
+
+"'Twas then that he got himself swore in special constable to
+arrest auto drivers for overspeedin'; and for days he wandered
+round layin' for a chance to haul up Tobias and get him fined.
+He'd have had plenty of game if he'd been satisfied with strangers,
+but he didn't want them anyhow, and, besides, most of 'em was on
+their way to spend money at the Old Home House.  'Twould have been
+poor business to let any of THAT cash go for fines, and he realized
+it.
+
+"'Twas in early June, only a few weeks ago, that the widow come to
+our hotel.  I never thought she meant it when she said she was
+comin', and so I didn't expect her.  Fact is, I was expectin' to
+hear that she and Tobe Loveland was married or engaged.  But there
+was a slip up somewheres, for all to once the depot wagon brings
+her to the Old Home House, she hires a room, and settles down to
+stay till the season closed, which would be in about a fortn't.
+
+"From the very fust she played her cards for Jonadab.  He meant to
+be middlin' average frosty to her, I imagine--her bein' so thick
+with Tobias prejudiced him, I presume likely.  But land sakes! she
+thawed him out like hot toddy thaws out some folks' tongues.  She
+never took no notice of his coldness, but smiled and gushed and
+flattered, and looked her prettiest--which was more'n average,
+considerin' her age--and by the end of the third day he was hangin'
+round her like a cat round a cook.
+
+"It commenced to look serious to me.  Jonadab was a pretty old fish
+to be caught with soft soap and a set of false crimps; but you
+can't never tell.  When them old kind do bite, they gen'rally
+swallow hook and sinker, and he sartinly did act hungry.  I wished
+more'n once that Peter T. Brown, our business manager, was aboard
+to help me with advice, but Peter is off tourin' the Yosemite with
+his wife and her relations, so whatever pilotin' there was I had to
+do.  And every day fetched Jonadab's bows nigher the matrimonial
+rocks.
+
+"I'd about made up my mind to sound the fog horn by askin' him
+straight out what he was cal'latin' to do; but somethin' I heard
+one evenin', as I set alone in the hotel office, made me think I'd
+better wait a spell.
+
+"The office window was open and the curtain drawed down tight.  I
+was settin' inside, smokin' and goin' over the situation, when
+footsteps sounded on the piazza and a couple come to anchor on the
+settee right by that window.  Cap'n Jonadab and Henrietta!  I
+sensed that immediate.
+
+"She was laughin' and actin' kind of queer, and he was talkin'
+mighty earnest.
+
+"'Oh, no, Cap'n!  Oh, no!' she giggles.  'You mustn't be so serious
+on such a beautiful night as this.  Let's talk about the moon.'
+
+"'Drat the moon!' says Jonadab.  'Hettie, I--'
+
+"'Oh, just see how beautiful the water looks!  All shiny and--"
+
+"'Drat the water, too!  Hettie, what's the reason you don't want to
+talk serious with me?  If that Tobe Loveland--'
+
+"'Really, I don't see why you bring Mr. Loveland's name into the
+conversation.  He is a perfect gentleman, generous and kind; and as
+for the way in which he runs that lovely car of his--'
+
+"The Cap'n interrupted her.  He ripped out somethin' emphatic.
+
+"'Generous!' he snarls.  ''Bout as generous as a hog in the feed
+trough, he is.  And as for runnin' that pesky auto, if I'd demean
+myself to own one of them things, I'll bet my other suit I could
+run it better'n he does.  If I couldn't, I'd tie myself to the
+anchor and jump overboard.'
+
+"The way she answered showed pretty plain that she didn't believe
+him.  'Really?' she says.  'Do you think so?  Good night, Jonadab.'
+
+"I could hear her walkin' off acrost the piazza.  He went after
+her.  'Hettie,' he says, 'you answer me one thing.  Are you engaged
+to Tobe Loveland?'
+
+"She laughed again, sort of teasin' and slow.  'Really,' says she,
+'you are--  Why, no, I'm not.'
+
+"That was all, but it set me to thinkin' hard.  She wa'n't engaged
+to Loveland; she said so, herself.  And yet, if she wanted Jonadab,
+she was actin' mighty funny.  I ain't had no experience, but it
+seemed to me that then was the time to bag him and she'd put him
+off on purpose.  She was ages too ancient to be a flirt for the fun
+of it.  What was her game?"
+
+
+CHAPTER X
+
+CAPTAIN JONADAB GOES
+
+
+Mr. Wingate stopped and roared a greeting to Captain Hiram Baker,
+who was passing the open door of the waiting room.
+
+"Hello, there, Hime!" he shouted.  "Come up in here!  What, are you
+too proud to speak to common folks?"
+
+Captain Hiram entered.  "Hello!" he said.  "You look like a busy
+gang, for sure.  What you doin'--seatin' chairs?"
+
+"Just now we're automobilin'," observed Captain Sol.  "Set down,
+Hiram."
+
+"Automobilin'?" repeated the new arrival, evidently puzzled.
+
+"Sartin.  Barzilla's takin' us out.  Go on, Barzilla."
+
+Mr. Wingate smiled broadly.  "Well," he began, "we HAVE just about
+reached the part where I went autoin'.  The widow and me and
+Jonadab."
+
+"Jonadab!" shouted Stitt.  "I thought you said--"
+
+"I know what I said.  But we went auto ridin' just the same.
+
+"'Twas Henry G. Bradbury that took us out, him and his bran-new big
+tourin' car.  You see, he landed to board with us the next day
+after Henrietta come--this Henry G. did--and he was so quiet and
+easy spoken and run his car so slow that even a pizen auto hater
+like Jonadab couldn't take much offense at him.  He wa'n't very
+well, he said, subject to some kind of heart attacks, and had come
+to the Old Home for rest.
+
+"Him and the Cap'n had great arguments about the sins of
+automobilin'.  Jonadab was sot on the idee that nine folks out of
+ten hadn't machine sense enough to run a car.  Bradbury, he
+declared that that was a fact with the majority of autos, but not
+with his.  'Why, a child could run it,' says he.  'Look here,
+Cap'n: To start it you just do this.  To stop it you do so and so.
+To make her go slow you haul back on this lever.  To make her go
+faster you shove down this one.  And as for steerin'--well, a man
+that's handled the wheels of as many catboats as you have would
+simply have a picnic.  I'm in entire sympathy with your feelin's
+against speeders and such--I'd be a constable if I was in your
+shoes--but this is a gentleman's car and runs like one.'
+
+"All Jonadab said was 'Bosh!' and 'Humph!' but he couldn't help
+actin' interested, particular as Mrs. Bassett kept him alongside of
+the machine and was so turrible interested herself.  And when, this
+partic'lar afternoon, Henry G. invites us all to go out with him
+for a little 'roll around,' the widow was so tickled and insisted
+so that he just HAD to go; he didn't dast say no.
+
+"Somehow or 'nother--I ain't just sure yet how it happened--the
+seatin' arrangements was made like this: Jonadab and Bradbury on
+the front seat, and me and Henrietta in the stuffed cockpit astern.
+We rolled out and purred along the road, smooth as a cat trottin'
+to dinner.  No speedin', no joltin', no nothin'.  'TWAS a
+'gentleman's car'; there wa'n't no doubt about that.
+
+"We went 'way over to Bayport and Orham and beyond.  And all the
+time Bradbury kept p'intin' out the diff'rent levers to Jonadab and
+tellin' him how to work 'em.  Finally, after we'd headed back, he
+asked Jonadab to take the wheel and steer her a spell.  Said his
+heart was feelin' sort of mean and 'twould do him good to rest.
+
+"Jonadab said no, emphatic and more'n average ugly, but Henry G.
+kept beggin' and pleadin', and pretty soon the widow put in her
+oar.  He must do it, to please her.  He had SAID he could do it--
+had told her so--and now he must make good.  Why, when Mr.
+Loveland--
+
+"'All right,' snarls Jonadab.  'I'll try.  But if ever--'
+
+"'Hold on!' says I.  'Here's where I get out.'
+
+"However, they wouldn't let me, and the Cap'n took the wheel.  His
+jaw was set and his hands shakin', but he done it.  Hettie had give
+her orders and she was skipper.
+
+"For a consider'ble spell we just crawled.  Jonadab was steerin'
+less crooked every minute and it tickled him; you could see that.
+
+"'Answers her hellum tiptop, don't she?' he says.
+
+"'Bet your life!' says Bradbury.  'Better put on a little more
+speed, hadn't we?'
+
+He put it on himself, afore the new pilot could stop him, and we
+commenced to move.
+
+"'When you want to make her jump,' he says, you press down on that
+with your foot, and you shove the spark back.'
+
+"'Shut up!' howls Jonadab.  'Belay!  Don't you dast to touch that.
+I'm scart to death as 'tis.  Here! you take this wheel.'
+
+"But he wouldn't, and we went on at a good clip.  For a green hand
+the Cap'n was leavin' a pretty straight wake.
+
+"'Gosh!' he says, after a spell; 'I b'lieve I'm kind of gettin' the
+hang of the craft.'
+
+"'Course you are,' says Bradbury.  'I told--  Oh!'
+
+"He straightens up, grabs at his vest, and slumps down against the
+back of the seat.
+
+"'What IS it?' screams the widow.  'Oh, what IS it, Mr. Bradbury?'
+
+"He answers, plucky, but toler'ble faintlike.  My heart!' he gasps.
+'I--I'm afraid I'm goin' to have one of my attacks.  I must get to
+a doctor quick.'
+
+"'Doctor!' I sings out.  'Great land of love! there ain't a doctor
+nigher than Denboro, and that's four mile astern.'
+
+"'Never mind,' cries the Bassett woman.  'We must go there, then.
+Turn around, Jonadab!  Turn around at once!  Mr. Bradbury--'
+
+"But poor Henry G. was curled up against the cushions and we
+couldn't get nothin' out of him but groans.  And all the time we
+was sailin' along up the road.
+
+"'Turn around, Jonadab!' orders Henrietta.  'Turn around and go for
+the doctor!'
+
+"Jonadab's hands was clutched on that wheel, and his face was white
+as his rubber collar.
+
+"'Jerushy!' he groans desperate, 'I--I don't know HOW to turn
+around.'
+
+"'Then stop, you foolhead!' I bellers.  'Stop where you be!'
+
+"And he moans--almost cryin' he was: 'I--I've forgotten how to
+STOP.'
+
+"Talk about your situations!  If we wa'n't in one then I miss my
+guess.  Every minute we was sinkin' Denboro below the horizon.
+
+"'We MUST get to a doctor,' says the widow.  'Where is there
+another one, Mr. Wingate?'
+
+"'The next one's in Bayport,' says I, 'and that's ten mile ahead if
+it's a foot.'
+
+"However, there wa'n't nothin' else for it, so toward Bayport we
+put.  Bradbury groaned once in a while, and Mrs. Bassett got
+nervous.
+
+"'We'll never get there at this rate,' says she.  'Go faster,
+Jonadab.  Faster!  Press down on--on that thing he told you to.
+Please! for MY sake.'
+
+"'Don't you--' I begun; but 'twas too late.  He pressed, and away
+we went.  We was eatin' up the road now, I tell you, and though I
+was expectin' every minute to be my next, I couldn't help admirin'
+the way the Cap'n steered.  And, as for him, he was gettin' more
+and more set up and confident.
+
+"'She handles like a yacht, Barzilla,' he grunts, between his
+teeth.  'See me put her around the next buoy ahead there.  Hey!
+how's that?'
+
+"The next 'buoy' was a curve in the road, and we went around it
+beautiful.  So with the next and the next and the next.  Bayport
+wa'n't so very fur ahead.  All to once another dreadful thought
+struck me.
+
+"'Look here!' I yells.  'How in time are we goin' to stop when we--
+OW!'
+
+"The Bassett woman had pinched my arm somethin' savage.  I looked
+at her, and she was scowlin' and shakin' her head.
+
+"'S-sh-sh!' she whispers.  'Don't disturb him.  He'll be frightened
+and--'
+
+"'Frightened!  Good heavens to Betsy!  I cal'late he won't be the
+only one that's fri--'
+
+"But she looked so ugly that I shut up prompt, though I done a heap
+of thinkin'.  On we went and, as we turned the next 'buoy,' there,
+ahead of us, was another auto, somethin' like ours, with only one
+person in it, a man, and goin' in the same direction we was, though
+not quite so fast.
+
+"Then I WAS scart.  'Hi, Jonadab!' I sings out.  'Heave to!  Come
+about!  Shorten sail!  Do you want to run him down?  Look OUT!'
+
+"I might as well have saved my breath.  Heavin' to and the rest of
+it wa'n't included in our pilot's education.  On we went, same as
+ever.  I don't know what might have happened if the widow hadn't
+kept her head.  She leaned over the for'ard rail of the after
+cockpit and squeezed a rubber bag that was close to Jonadab's
+starboard arm.  It was j'ined to the fog whistle, I cal'late,
+'cause from under our bows sounded a beller like a bull afoul of a
+barb-wire fence.
+
+"The feller in t'other car turned his head and looked.  Then he
+commenced to sheer off to wind'ard so's to let us pass.  But all
+the time he kept lookin' back and starin' and, as we got nigher,
+and I could see him plainer through the dust, he looked more and
+more familiar.  'Twas somebody I knew.
+
+"Then I heard a little grunt, or gasp, from Cap'n Jonadab.  He was
+leanin' for'ard over the wheel, starin' at the man in the other
+auto.  The nigher we got, the harder he stared; and the man in
+front was actin' similar in regards to him.  And, all to once, the
+head car stopped swingin' off to wind'ard, turned back toward the
+middle of the road, and begun to go like smoke.  The next instant I
+felt our machine fairly jump beneath me.  I looked at Jonadab's
+foot.  'Twas pressed hard down on the speed lever.
+
+"'You crazy loon!' I screeched.  'You--you--you--  Stop it!  Take
+your foot off that!  Do you want to--!'
+
+"I was climbin' over the back of the front seat, my knee pretty
+nigh on Bradbury's head.  But, would you believe it, that Jonadab
+man let go of the wheel with one hand--let GO of it, mind you--and
+give me a shove that sent me backward in Henrietta Bassett's lap.
+
+"'Barzilla!' he growled, between his teeth, 'you set where you be
+and keep off the quarterdeck.  I'm runnin' this craft.  I'll beat
+that Loveland this time or run him under, one or t'other!'
+
+"As sure as I'm alive this minute, the man in the front car was
+Tobias Loveland!
+
+"And from then on--  Don't talk!  I dream about it nights and wake
+up with my arms around the bedpost.  I ain't real sure, but I kind
+of have an idee that the bedpost business comes from the fact that
+I was huggin' the widow some of the time.  If I did, 'twa'n't
+knowin'ly, and she never mentioned it afterwards.  All I can swear
+to is clouds of dust, and horns honkin', and telegraph poles
+lookin' like teeth in a comb, and Jonadab's face set as the Day of
+Judgment.
+
+"He kept his foot down on the speed place as if 'twas glued.  He
+shoved the 'spark'--whatever that is--'way back.  Every once in a
+while he yelled, yelled at the top of his lungs.  What he yelled
+hadn't no sense to it.  Sometimes you'd think that he was drivin' a
+horse and next that he was handlin' a schooner in a gale.
+
+"'Git dap!' he'd whoop.  'Go it, you cripples!  Keep her nose right
+in the teeth of it!  She's got the best of the water, so let her
+bile!  Whe-E-E!'
+
+"We didn't stop at Bayport.  Our skipper had made other
+arrangements.  However, the way I figgered it, we was long past
+needin' a doctor, and you can get an undertaker 'most anywhere.  We
+went through the village like a couple of shootin' stars, Tobias
+about a length ahead, his hat blowed off, his hair--what little
+he's got--streamin' out behind, and that blessed red buzz wagon of
+his fairly skimmin' the hummocks and jumpin' the smooth places.
+And right astern of him comes Jonadab, hangin' to the wheel, HIS
+hat gone, his mouth open, and fillin' the dust with yells and
+coughs.
+
+"You could see folks runnin' to doors and front gates; but you
+never saw 'em reach where they was goin'--time they done that we
+was somewheres round the next bend.  A pullet run over us once--
+yes, I mean just that.  She clawed the top of the widow's bunnit as
+we slid underneath her, and by the time she lit we was so fur away
+she wa'n't visible to the naked eye.  Bradbury--who'd got better
+remarkable sudden--was pawin' at Jonadab's arm, tryin' to make him
+ease up; but he might as well have pawed the wind.  As for
+Henrietta Bassett, she was acrost the back of the front seat
+tootin' the horn for all she was wuth.  And curled down in a heap
+on the cockpit floor was a fleshy, sea-farin' person by the name of
+Barzilla Wingate, sufferin' from chills and fever.
+
+"I think 'twas on the long stretch of the Trumet road that we beat
+Tobias.  I know we passed somethin' then, though just what I ain't
+competent to testify.  All I'm sure of is that, t'other side of
+Bayport village, the landscape got some less streaked and you could
+most gen'rally separate one house from the next.
+
+"Bradbury looked at Henrietta and smiled, a sort of sickly smile.
+She was pretty pale, but she managed to smile back.  I got up off
+the floor and slumped on the cushions.  As for Cap'n Jonadab Wixon,
+he'd stopped yellin', but his face was one broad, serene grin.  His
+mouth, through the dust and the dirt caked around it, looked like a
+rain gully in a sand-bank.  And, occasional, he crowed, hoarse but
+vainglorious.
+
+"'Did you see me?' he barked.  'Did you notice me lick him?  He'll
+laugh at me, will he?--him and his one-horse tin cart!  Ho! HO!
+Why, you'd think he was settin' down to rest!  I've got him where I
+want him now!  Ho, ho!  Say, Henrietta, did you go swift as you--?
+Land sakes!  Mr. Bradbury, I forgot all about you.  And I--I guess
+we must have got a good ways past the doctor's place.'
+
+"Bradbury said never mind.  He felt much better, and he cal'lated
+he'd do till we fetched the Old Home dock.  He'd take the wheel,
+now, he guessed.
+
+"But, would you b'lieve it, that fool Jonadab wouldn't let him!  He
+was used to the ship now, he said, and, if 'twas all the same to
+Henry G. and Hettie, he'd kind of like to run her into port.
+
+"'She answers her hellum fine,' he says.  'After a little practice
+I cal'late I could steer--'
+
+"'Steer!' sings out Bradbury.  'STEER!  Great Caesar's ghost!  I
+give you my word, Cap'n Wixon, I never saw such handlin' of a
+machine as you did goin' through Bayport, in my life.  You're a
+wonder!'
+
+"'Um-hm,' says Jonadab contented.  'I've steered a good many
+vessels in my time, through traffic and amongst the shoals, and
+never run afoul of nothin' yet.  I don't see much diff'rence on
+shore--'cept that it's a little easier.'
+
+"EASIER!  Wouldn't that--  Well, what's the use of talkin'?
+
+"We got to the Old Home House safe and sound; Jonadab, actin' under
+Bradbury's orders, run her into the yard, slowin' up and stoppin'
+at the front steps slick as grease.  He got out, his chest swelled
+up like a puffin' pig, and went struttin' in to tell everybody what
+he'd done to Loveland.  I don't know where Bradbury and the widow
+went.  As for me, I went aloft and turned in.  And 'twas two days
+and nights afore I got up again.  I had a cold, anyway, and what
+I'd been through didn't help it none.
+
+"The afternoon of the second day, Bradbury come up to see me.  He
+was dressed in his city clothes and looked as if he was goin' away.
+Sure enough, he was; goin' on the next train.
+
+"'Where's Jonadab?' says I.
+
+"'Oh, he's out in his car,' he says.  'Huntin' for Loveland again,
+maybe.'
+
+"'HIS car?  You mean yours.'
+
+"'No, I mean his.  I sold my car to him yesterday mornin' for
+twenty-five hundred dollars cash.'
+
+"I set up in bed.  'Go 'long!' I sings out.  'You didn't nuther!'
+
+"'Yes, I did.  Sure thing.  After that ride, you couldn't have
+separated him from that machine with blastin' powder.  He paid over
+the money like a little man.'
+
+"I laid down again.  Jonadab Wixon payin' twenty-five hundred
+dollars for a plaything!  Not promisin', but actually PAYIN' it!
+
+"'Has--has the widow gone with him?' I asked, soon's I could get my
+breath.
+
+"He laughed sort of queer.  'No,' he says, 'she's gone out of town
+for a few days.  Ha, ha!  Well, between you and me, Wingate, I
+doubt if she comes back again.  She and I have made all we're
+likely to in this neighborhood, and she's too good a business woman
+to waste her time.  Good-by; glad to have met you.'
+
+"But I smelt rat strong and wouldn't let him go without seein' the
+critter.
+
+"'Hold on!' I says.  'There's somethin' underneath all this.  Out
+with it.  I won't let on to the Cap'n if you don't want me to.'
+
+"'Well,' says he, laughin' again, 'Mrs. Bassett WON'T come back and
+I know it.  She and I have sold four cars on the Cape in the last
+five weeks, and the profits'll more'n pay vacation expenses.  Two
+up in Wareham, one over in Orham, to Loveland--'
+
+"'Did YOU sell Tobias his?' I asks, settin' up again.
+
+"'Hettie and I did--yes.  Soon's we landed him, we come over to bag
+old Wixon.  I thought one time he'd kill us before we got him, but
+he didn't.  How he did run that thing!  He's a game sport.'
+
+"'See here!' says I.  'YOU and Hettie sold--  What do you mean by
+that?'
+
+"'Mrs. Bassett is my backer in the auto business,' says he.  'She
+put in her money and I furnished the experience.  We've got a big
+plant up in--' namin' a city in Connecticut.
+
+"I fetched a long breath.  'WELL!' says I.  'And all this makin'
+eyes at Tobe and Jonadab was just--just--'
+
+"'Just bait, that's all,' says he.  'I told you she was a good
+business woman.'
+
+"I let this sink in good.  Then says I, 'Humph! I swan to man!  And
+how's your heart actin' now?'
+
+"'Fine!' he says, winkin'.  'I had that attack so's the Cap'n would
+learn to run on his own hook.  I didn't expect quite so much of a
+run, but I'm satisfied.  Don't you worry about my heart disease.
+That twenty-five hundred cured it.  'Twas all in the way of
+business,' says Henry G. Bradbury."
+
+"Whew!" whistled Captain Hiram as Barzilla reached into his pocket
+for pipe and tobacco.  "Whew!  I should say your partner had a
+narrer escape.  Want to look out sharp for widders.  They're
+dangerous, hey, Sol?"
+
+The depot master did not answer.  Captain Hiram asked another
+question.  "How'd Jonadab take Hettie's leavin'?" he inquired.
+
+"Oh," said Barzilla, "I don't think he minded so much.  He was too
+crazy about his new auto to care for anything else.  Then, too, he
+was b'ilin' mad 'cause Loveland swore out a warrant against him for
+speedin'.
+
+"'Nice trick, ain't it?' he says.  'I knew Tobe was a poor loser,
+but I didn't think he'd be so low down as all that.  Says I was
+goin' fifty mile an hour.  He! he!  Well, I WAS movin', that's a
+fact.  I don't care.  'Twas wuth the twenty-dollar fine.'
+
+"'Maybe so,' I says, 'but 'twon't look very pretty to have a
+special auto constable hauled up and fined for breakin' the law
+he's s'posed to protect.'
+
+"He hadn't thought of that.  His face clouded over.
+
+"'No use, Barzilla,' says he; 'I'll have to give it up.'
+
+"'Guess you will,' says I.  'Automobilin' is--'
+
+"'I don't mean automobilin',' he snorts disgusted.  'Course not!  I
+mean bein' constable.'
+
+"So there you are!  From cussin' automobiles he's got so that he
+can't talk enough good about 'em.  And every day sence then he's
+out on the road layin' for another chance at Tobias.  I hope he
+gets that chance pretty soon, because--well, there's a rumor goin'
+round that Loveland is plannin' to swap his car for a bigger and
+faster one.  If he does . . ."
+
+"If he does," interrupted Captain Sol, "I hope you'll fix the next
+race for over here.  I'd like to see you go by, Barzilla."
+
+"Guess you'd have to look quick to see him," laughed Stitt.
+"Speakin' about automobiles--"
+
+"By gum!" ejaculated Wingate, "you'd have to look somewheres else
+to find ME.  I've got all the auto racin' I want!"
+
+"Speakin' of automobiles," began Captain Bailey again.  No one paid
+the slightest attention.
+
+"How's Dusenberry, your baby, Hiram?" asked the depot master,
+turning to Captain Baker.  "His birthday's the Fourth, and that's
+only a couple of days off."
+
+The proud parent grinned, then looked troubled.
+
+"Why, he ain't real fust-rate," he said.  "Seems to be some under
+the weather.  Got a cold and kind of sore throat.  Dr. Parker says
+he cal'lates it's a touch of tonsilitis.  There's consider'ble
+fever, too.  I was hopin' the doctor'd come again to-day, but he's
+gone away on a fishin' cruise.  Won't be home till late to-morrer.
+I s'pose me and Sophrony hadn't ought to worry.  Dr. Parker seems
+to know about the case."
+
+"Humph!" grunted the depot master, "there's only two bein's in
+creation that know it all.  One's the Almighty and t'other's young
+Parker.  He's right out of medical school and is just as fresh as
+his diploma.  He hadn't any business to go fishin' and leave his
+patients.  We lost a good man when old Dr. Ryder died.  He . . .
+Oh, well! you mustn't worry, Hiram.  Dusenberry'll pull out in time
+for his birthday.  Goin' to celebrate, was you?"
+
+Captain Baker nodded.  "Um-hm," he said.  "Sophrony's goin' to bake
+a frosted cake and stick three candles on it--he's three year old,
+you know--and I've made him a 'twuly boat with sails,' that's what
+he's been beggin' for.  Ho! ho! he's the cutest little shaver!"
+
+"Speakin' of automobiles," began Bailey Stitt for the third time.
+
+"That youngster of yours, Hiram," went on the depot master, "is the
+right kind.  Compared with some of the summer young ones that
+strike this depot, he's a saint."
+
+Captain Hiram grinned.  "That's what I tell Sophrony," he said.
+"Sometimes when Dusenberry gets to cuttin' up and she is sort of
+provoked, I say to her, 'Old lady,' I say, 'if you think THAT'S a
+naughty boy, you ought to have seen Archibald.'"
+
+"Who was Archibald?" asked Barzilla.
+
+"He was a young rip that Sim Phinney and I run across four years
+ago when we went on our New York cruise together.  The weir
+business had been pretty good and Sim had been teasin' me to go on
+a vacation with him, so I went.  Sim ain't stopped talkin' about
+our experiences yet.  Ho! ho!"
+
+"You bet he ain't!" laughed the depot master.  "One mix-up you had
+with a priest, and a love story, and land knows what.  He talks
+about that to this day."
+
+"What was it?  He never told me," said Wingate.
+
+"Why, it begun at the Golconda House, the hotel where Sim and I was
+stayin'.  We--"
+
+"Did YOU put up at the Golconda?" interrupted Barzilla.  "Why,
+Cap'n Jonadab and me stayed there when we went to New York."
+
+"I know you did.  Jonadab recommended it to Sim, and Sim took the
+recommendation.  That Golconda House is the only grudge I've got
+against Jonadab Wixon.  It sartin is a tough old tavern."
+
+"I give in to that.  Jonadab's so sot on it account of havin'
+stopped there on his honeymoon, years and years ago.  He's too
+stubborn to own it's bad.  It's a matter of principle with him, and
+he's sot on principle."
+
+"Yes," continued Baker.  "Well, Sim and me had been at that
+Golconda three days and nights.  Mornin' of the fourth day we
+walked out of the dinin' room after breakfast, feelin' pretty
+average chipper.  Gettin' safe past another meal at that hotel was
+enough of itself to make a chap grateful.
+
+"We walked out of the dinin' room and into the office.  And there,
+by the clerk's desk, was a big, tall man, dressed up in clothes
+that was loud enough to speak for themselves, and with a shiny new
+tall hat, set with a list to port, on his head.  He was smooth-
+faced and pug-nosed, with an upper lip like a camel's.
+
+"He didn't pay much attention to us, nor to anybody else, for the
+matter of that.  He was as mournful as a hearse, for all his joyful
+togs.
+
+"'Fine day, ain't it?' says Sim, social.
+
+"The tall chap looked up at him from under the deck of the beaver
+hat.
+
+"'Huh!' he growls out, and looks down again.
+
+"'I say it's a fine day,' said Phinney again.
+
+"'I was after hearin' yez say it,' says the man, and walks off,
+scowlin' like a meat ax.  We looked after him.
+
+"'Who was that murderer?' asks Sim of the clerk.  'And when are
+they going to hang him?'
+
+"'S-sh-sh!' whispers the clerk, scart.  ''Tis the boss.  The bloke
+what runs the hotel.  He's a fine man, but he has troubles.  He's
+blue.'
+
+"'So that's the boss, hey?' says I.  'And he's blue.  Well, he
+looks it.  What's troublin' him?  Ain't business good?'
+
+"'Never better.  It ain't that.  He has things on his mind.  You
+see--'
+
+"I cal'late he'd have told us the yarn, only Sim wouldn't wait to
+hear it.  We was goin' sight-seein' and we had 'aquarium' and
+'Stock Exchange' on the list for that afternoon.  The hotel clerk
+had made out a kind of schedule for us of things we'd ought to see
+while we was in New York, and so fur we'd took in the zoological
+menagerie and the picture museum, and Central Park and Brooklyn
+Bridge.
+
+"On the way downtown in the elevated railroad Sim done some
+preachin'.  His text was took from the Golconda House sign, which
+had 'T. Dempsey, Proprietor,' painted on it.
+
+"'It's that Dempsey man's conscience that makes him so blue,
+Hiram,' says Sim.  'It's the way he makes his money.  He sells
+liquor.'
+
+"'Oh!' says I.  'Is THAT it?  I thought maybe he'd been sleepin' on
+one of his own hotel beds.  THEY'RE enough to make any man blue--
+black and blue.'
+
+"The 'aquarium' wa'n't a success.  Phinney was disgusted.  He give
+one look around, grabbed me by the arm, and marched me out of that
+building same as Deacon Titcomb, of the Holiness Church at Denboro,
+marched his boy out of the Universalist sociable.
+
+"'It's nothin' but a whole passel of fish,' he snorts.  'The idea
+of sendin' two Cape Codders a couple of miles to look at FISH.
+I've looked at 'em and fished for 'em, and et 'em all the days of
+my life,' he says, 'and when I'm on a vacation I want a change.
+I'd forgot that "aquarium" meant fish, or you wouldn't have got me
+within smellin' distance of it.  Necessity's one thing and
+pleasure's another, as the boy said about takin' his ma's spring
+bitters.'
+
+"So we headed for the Stock Exchange.  We got our gallery tickets
+at the bank where the Golconda folks kept money, and in a little
+while we was leanin' over a kind of marble bulwarks and starin'
+down at a gang of men smokin' and foolin' and carryin' on.  'Twas a
+dull day, so we found out afterward, and I guess likely that was
+true.  Anyway, I never see such grown-up men act so much like
+children.  There was a lot of poles stuck up around with signs on
+'em, and around every pole was a circle of bedlamites hollerin'
+like loons.  Hollerin' was the nighest to work of anything I see
+them fellers do, unless 'twas tearin' up papers and shovin' the
+pieces down somebody's neck or throwin' 'em in the air like a play-
+actin' snowstorm.
+
+"'What's the matter with 'em?' says I.  'High finance taken away
+their brains?'
+
+"But Phinney was awful interested.  He dumped some money in a mine
+once.  The mine caved in on it, I guess, for not a red cent ever
+come to the top again, but he's been a kind of prophet concernin'
+finances ever sence.
+
+"'I want to see the big fellers,' says he.  'S'pose that fat one is
+Morgan?'
+
+"'I don't know,' says I.  'Me and Pierpont ain't met for ever so
+long.  Don't lean over and point so; you're makin' a hit.'
+
+"He was, too.  Some of the younger crew on the floor was lookin' up
+and grinnin', and more kept stoppin' and joinin' in all the time.
+I cal'late we looked kind of green and soft, hangin' over that
+marble rail, like posies on a tombstone; and green is the favorite
+color to a stockbroker, they tell me.  Anyhow, we had a good-sized
+congregation under us in less than no time.  Likewise, they got
+chatty, and commenced to unload remarks.
+
+"'Land sakes!' says one.  'How's punkins?'
+
+"'How's crops down your way?' says another.
+
+"Now there wa'n't nothin' real bright and funny about these
+questions--more fresh than new, they struck me--but you'd think
+they was gems from the comic almanac, jedgin' by the haw-haws.
+Next minute a little bald-headed smart Alec, with clothes that had
+a tailor's sign hull down and out of the race, steps to the front
+and commences to make a speech.
+
+"'Gosh t'mighty, gents,' says he.  'With your kind permission, I'll
+sing "When Reuben Comes to Town."
+
+"And he did sing it, too, in a voice that needed cultivatin'
+worse'n a sandy front yard.  And with every verse the congregation
+whooped and laughed and cheered.  When the anthem was concluded,
+all hands set up a yell and looked at us to see how we took it.
+
+"As for me, I was b'ilin' mad and mortified and redhot all over.
+But Sim Phinney was as cool as an October evenin'.  Once in a while
+old Sim comes out right down brilliant, and he done it now.  He
+smiled, kind of tolerant and easy, same as you might at the tricks
+of a hand-organ monkey.  Then he claps his hands, applaudin' like,
+reaches into his pocket, brings up a couple of pennies, and tosses
+'em down to little baldhead, who was standin' there blown up with
+pride.
+
+"For a minute the crowd was still.  And THEN such a yell as went
+up!  The whole floor went wild.  Next thing I knew the gallery was
+filled with brokers, grabbin' us by the hands, poundin' us on the
+back, beggin' us to come have a drink, and generally goin' crazy.
+We was solid with the 'system' for once in our lives.  We could
+have had that whole buildin', from marble decks to gold maintruck,
+if we'd said the word.  Fifty yellin' lunatics was on hand to give
+it to us; the other two hundred was joyfully mutilatin' the
+baldhead.
+
+"Well, I wanted to get away, and so did Sim, I guess; but the crowd
+wouldn't let us.  We'd got to have a drink; hogsheads of drinks.
+That was the best joke on Eddie Lewisburg that ever was.  Come on!
+We MUST come on!  Whee!  Wow!
+
+"I don't know how it would have ended if some one hadn't butted
+head first through the mob and grabbed me by the shoulder.  I was
+ready to fight by this time, and maybe I'd have begun to fight if
+the chap who grabbed me hadn't been a few inches short of seven
+foot high.  And, besides that, I knew him.  'Twas Sam Holden, a
+young feller I knew when he boarded here one summer.  His wife
+boarded here, too, only she wa'n't his wife then.  Her name was
+Grace Hargrave and she was a fine girl.  Maybe you remember 'em,
+Sol?"
+
+The depot master nodded.
+
+"I remember 'em well," he said.  "Liked 'em both--everybody did."
+
+"Yes.  Well, he knew us and was glad to see us.
+
+"'It IS you!' he sings out.  'By George!  I thought it was when I
+came on the floor just now.  My! but I'm glad to see you.  And Mr.
+Phinney, too!  Bully!  Clear out and let 'em alone, you Indians.'
+
+"The crowd didn't want to let us alone, but Sam got us clear
+somehow, and out of the Exchange Buildin' and into the back room of
+a kind of restaurant.  Then he gets chairs for us, orders cigars,
+and shakes hands once more.
+
+"'To think of seein' you two in New York!' he says, wonderin'.
+'What are you doin' here?  When did you come?  Tell us about it.'
+
+"So we told him about our pleasure cruise, and what had happened to
+us so fur.  It seemed to tickle him 'most to death.
+
+"'Grace and I are keepin' house, in a modest way, uptown,' says
+Sam, 'and she'll be as glad to see you as I am.  You're comin' up
+to dinner with me to-night, and you're goin' to make us a visit,
+you know,' he says.
+
+"Well, if we didn't know it then, we learned it right away.
+Nothin' that me or Simeon could say would make him change the
+course a point.  So Phinney went up to the Golconda House and got
+our bags, and at half-past four that afternoon the three of us was
+in a hired hack bound uptown.
+
+"On the way Sam was full of fun as ever.  He laughed and joked, and
+asked questions about East Harniss till you couldn't rest.  All of
+a sudden he slaps his knee and sings out:
+
+"'There!  I knew I'd forgotten somethin'.  Our butler left
+yesterday, and I was to call at the intelligence office on my way
+home and see if they'd scared up a new one.'
+
+"I looked at Simeon, and he at me.
+
+"'Hum!' says I, thinkin' about that 'modest' housekeepin'.  'Do you
+keep a butler?'
+
+"'Not long,' says he, dry as a salt codfish.  And that's all we
+could get out of him.
+
+"I s'pose there's different kinds of modesty.  We hadn't more'n got
+inside the gold-plated front door of that house when I decided that
+the Holden brand of housekeepin' wa'n't bashful enough to blush.
+If I'D been runnin' that kind of a place, the only time I'd felt
+shy and retirin' was when the landlord came for the rent.
+
+"One of the fo'mast hands--hired girls, I mean--went aloft to fetch
+Mrs. Holden, and when Grace came down she was just as nice and
+folksy and glad to see us as a body could be.  But she looked sort
+of troubled, just the same.
+
+"'I'm ever so glad you're here,' says she to me and Simeon.  'But,
+oh, Sam! it's a shame the way things happen.  Cousin Harriet and
+Archie came this afternoon to stay until to-morrow.  They're on
+their way South.  And I have promised that you and I shall take
+Harriet to see Marlowe to-night.  Of course we won't do it now,
+under any consideration, but you know what she is.'
+
+"Sam seemed to know.  He muttered somethin' that sounded like a
+Scripture text.  Simeon spoke up prompt.
+
+"'Indeed you will,' says he, decided.  'Me and Hiram ain't that
+kind.  We've got relations of our own, and we know what it means
+when they come a-visitin'.  You and Mr. Holden'll take your comp'ny
+and go to see--whatever 'tis you want to see, and we'll make
+ourselves to home till you get back.  Yes, you will, or we clear
+out this minute.'
+
+"They didn't want to, but we was sot, and so they give in finally.
+It seemed that this Cousin Harriet was a widow relation of the
+Holdens, who lived in a swell country house over in Connecticut
+somewhere, and was rich as the rest of the tribe.  Archie was her
+son.  'Hers and the Evil One's,' Sam said.
+
+"We didn't realize how much truth there was in this last part until
+we run afoul of Archie and his ma at dinner time.  Cousin Harriet
+was tall and middlin' slim, thirty-five years old, maybe, at a sale
+for taxes, but discounted to twenty at her own valuation.  She was
+got up regardless, and had a kind of chronic, tired way of talkin',
+and a condescendin' look to her, as if she was on top of Bunker
+Hill monument, and all creation was on its knees down below.  She
+didn't warm up to Simeon and me much; eyed us over through a pair
+of gilt spyglasses, and admitted that she was 'charmed, I'm sure.'
+Likewise, she was afflicted with 'nerves,' which must be a divil of
+a disease--for everybody but the patient, especial.
+
+"Archie--his ma hailed him as 'Archibald, dear'--showed up pretty
+soon in tow of his 'maid,' a sweet-faced, tired-out Irish girl
+named Margaret.  'Archibald, dear,' was five years old or so,
+sufferin' from curls and the lack of a lickin'.  I never see a
+young one that needed a strap ile more.
+
+"'How d'ye do Archie?' says Simeon, holdin' out his hand.
+
+"Archie didn't take the hand.  Instead of that he points at Phinney
+and commences to laugh.
+
+"'Ho, ho!' says he, dancin' and pointin'.  'Look at the funny
+whiskers.'
+
+"Sim wa'n't expectin' that, and it set him all aback, like he'd run
+into a head squall.  He took hold of his beard and looked foolish.
+Sam and Grace looked ashamed and mad.  Cousin Harriet laughed one
+of her lazy laughs.
+
+"'Archibald, de-ar,' she drawls, 'you mustn't speak that way.  Now
+be nice, and play with Margaret durin' dinner, that's a good boy.'
+
+"'I won't,' remarks Archie, cheerful.  'I'm goin' to dine with you,
+mama.'
+
+"'Oh, no, you're not, dear.  You'll have your own little table,
+and--'
+
+"Then 'twas' Hi, yi!'  'Bow, wow!'  Archibald wa'n't hankerin' for
+little tables.  He was goin' to eat with us, that's what.  His ma,
+she argued with him and pleaded, and he yelled and stamped and
+hurrahed.  When Margaret tried to soothe him he went at her like a
+wild-cat, and kicked and pounded her sinful.  She tried to take him
+out of the room, and then Cousin Harriet come down on her like a
+scow load of brick.
+
+"'Haven't I told you,' says she, sharp and vinegary, 'not to oppose
+the child in that way?  Archibald has such a sensitive nature,' she
+says to Grace, 'that opposition arouses him just as it did me at
+his age.  Very well, dear; you MAY dine with us to-night, if you
+wish.  Oh, my poor nerves!  Margaret, why don't you place a chair
+for Master Archibald?  The creature is absolutely stupid at times,'
+she says, talkin' about that poor maid afore her face with no more
+thought for her feelin's than if she was a wooden image.  'She has
+no tact whatever.  I wouldn't have Archibald's spirit broken for
+anything.'
+
+"'Twas his neck that needed breakin' if you asked ME.  That was a
+joyful meal, now I tell you.
+
+"There was more joy when 'twas over.  Archie didn't want to go to
+bed, havin' desires to set up and torment Simeon with questions
+about his whiskers; askin' if they growed or was tied on, and
+things like that.  Course he didn't know his ma was goin' to the
+show, or he wouldn't have let her.  But finally he was coaxed
+upstairs by Margaret and a box of candy, and, word havin' been sent
+down that he was asleep, Sam got out his plug hat, and Grace and
+Cousin Harriet got on their fur-lined dolmans and knit clouds, and
+was ready for the hack.
+
+"'I feel mighty mean to go off and leave you this way,' says Sam to
+me and Simeon.  'But you make yourself at home, won't you?  This is
+your house to-night, you know; servants and all.'
+
+"'How about that boy's wakin' up?' says I.
+
+"'Oh, his maid'll attend to him.  If she needs any help you can
+give it to her,' he says, winkin' on the side.
+
+"But Cousin Harriet was right at his starboard beam, and she heard
+him.  She flew up like a settin' hen.
+
+"'Indeed they will NOT!' she sings out.  'If anyone but Margaret
+was to attempt to control Archibald, I don't dare think what might
+happen.  I shall not stir from this spot until these persons
+promise not to interfere in ANY way; Archibald, dear, is such a
+sensitive child.'
+
+"So we promised not to interfere, although Sim Phinney looked
+disappointed when he done it.  I could see that he'd had hopes
+afore he give that promise."
+
+
+CHAPTER XI
+
+IN THE GREAT METROPOLIS
+
+
+"So they left you and Sim Phinney to keep house, did they, Hiram?"
+observed Wingate.
+
+"They did.  And, for a spell, we figgered on bein' free from too
+much style.
+
+"After they'd gone we loafed into the settin' room or libr'ry, or
+whatever you call it, and come to anchor in a couple of big lazy
+chairs.
+
+"'Now,' says I, takin' off my coat, 'we can be comf'table.'
+
+"But we couldn't.  In bobs a servant girl to know if we 'wanted
+anything.'  We didn't, but she looked so shocked when she see me in
+my shirt sleeves that I put the coat on again, feelin' as if I'd
+ought to blush.  And in a minute back she comes to find out if we
+was SURE we didn't want anything.  Sim was hitchin' in his chair.
+Between 'nerves' and Archibald, his temper was raw on the edges.
+
+"'Say,' he bursts out, 'you look kind of pale to me.  What you need
+is fresh air.  Why don't you go take a walk?'
+
+"The girl looked at him with her mouth open.
+
+"'Oh,' says she, 'I couldn't do that, thank you, sir.  That would
+leave no one but the cook and the kitchen girl.  And the master
+said you was to be made perfectly comf'table, and--'
+
+"'Yes,' says Sim, dry, 'I heard him say it.  And we can't be
+comf'table with you shut up in the house this nice evenin'.  Go and
+take a walk, and take the cook and stewardess with you.  Don't
+argue about it.  I'm skipper here till the boss gets back.  Go, the
+three of you, and go NOW.  D'ye hear?'
+
+"There was a little more talk, but not much.  In five minutes or so
+the downstairs front door banged, and there was gigglin' outside.
+
+"'There,' says Simeon, peelin' off HIS coat and throwin' himself
+back in one chair with his feet on another one.  'Now, by Judas,
+I'm goin' to be homey and happy like poor folks.  I don't wonder
+that Harriet woman's got nerves.  Darn style, anyhow!  Pass over
+that cigar box, Hiram.'
+
+
+"'Twas half an hour later or so when Margaret, the nursemaid, came
+downstairs.  I'd almost forgot her.  We was tame and toler'ble
+contented by that time.  Phinney called to her as she went by the
+door.
+
+"'Is that young one asleep?' he asked.
+
+"'Yes, sir,' says she, 'he is.  Is there anything I can do?  Did
+you want anything?'
+
+"Simeon looks at me.  'I swan to man, it's catchin'!' he says.
+'They've all got it.  No, we don't want anything, except--  What's
+the matter?  YOU don't need fresh air, do you?'
+
+"The girl looked as if she'd lost her last friend.  Her pretty face
+was pale and her eyes was wet, as if she'd been cryin'.
+
+"'No, sir,' says she, puzzled.  'No, sir, thank you, sir.'
+
+"'She's tired out, that's all,' says I.  I swan, I pitied the poor
+thing.  'You go somewheres and take a nap,' I told her.  'Me and my
+friend won't tell.'
+
+"Oh, no, she couldn't do that.  It wa'n't that she was tired--no
+more tired than usual--but she'd been that troubled in her mind
+lately, askin' our pardon, that she was near to crazy.
+
+"We was sorry for that, but it didn't seem to be none of our
+business, and she was turnin' away, when all at once she stops and
+turns back again.
+
+"'Might I ask you gintlemen a question?' she says, sort of
+pleadin'.  'Sure I mane no harm by it.  Do aither of you know a man
+be the name of Michael O'Shaughnessy?'
+
+"Me and Sim looked at each other.  'Which?' says I.  'Mike O' who?'
+says Simeon.
+
+"'Aw, don't you know him?' she begs.  'DON'T you know him?  Sure I
+hoped you might.  If you'd only tell me where he is I'd git on me
+knees and pray for you.  O Mike, Mike! why did you leave me like
+this?  What'll become of me?'
+
+"And she walks off down the hall, coverin' her face with her hands
+and cryin' as if her heart was broke.
+
+"'There! there!' says Simeon, runnin' after her, all shook up.
+He's a kind-hearted man--especially to nice-lookin' females.
+'Don't act so,' he says.  'Be a good girl.  Come right back into
+the settin' room and tell me all about it.  Me and Cap'n Baker
+ain't got nerves, and we ain't rich, neither.  You can talk to us.
+Come, come!'
+
+"She didn't know how to act, seemingly.  She was like a dog that's
+been kicked so often he's suspicious of a pat on the head.  And she
+was cryin' and sobbin' so, and askin' our pardon for doin' it, that
+it took a good while to get at the real yarn.  But we did get it,
+after a spell.
+
+"It seems that the girl--her whole name was Margaret Sullivan--had
+been in this country but a month or so, havin' come from Ireland in
+a steamboat to meet the feller who'd kept comp'ny with her over
+there.  His name was Michael O'Shaughnessy, and he'd been in
+America for four years or more, livin' with a cousin in Long Island
+City.  And he'd got a good job at last, and he sent for her to come
+on and be married to him.  And when she landed 'twas the cousin
+that met her.  Mike had drawn a five-thousand-dollar prize in the
+Mexican lottery a week afore, and hadn't been seen sence.
+
+"So poor Margaret goes to the cousin's to stay.  And she found them
+poor as Job's pet chicken, and havin' hardly grub enough aboard to
+feed the dozen or so little cousins, let alone free boarders like
+her.  And so, havin' no money, she goes out one day to an
+intelligence office where they deal in help, and puts in a blank
+askin' for a job as servant girl.  'Twas a swell place, where
+bigbugs done their tradin', and there she runs into Cousin Harriet,
+who was a chronic customer, always out of servants, owin' to the
+complications of Archibald and nerves.  And Harriet hires her,
+because she was pretty and would work for a shavin' more'n nothin',
+and carts her right off to Connecticut.  And when Margaret sets out
+to write for her trunk, and to tell where she is, she finds she's
+lost the cousin's address, and can't remember whether it's Umpty-
+eighth Street or Tin Can Avenue.
+
+"'And, oh,' says she, 'what SHALL I do?  The mistress is that hard
+to please, and the child is that wicked till I want to die.  And I
+have no money and no friends.  O Mike! Mike!' she says.  'If you
+only knew you'd come to me.  For it's a good heart he has, although
+the five thousand dollars carried away his head,' says she.
+
+"I don't believe I ever wanted to make a feller's acquaintance more
+than I done that O'Shaughnessy man's.  The mean blackguard, to
+leave his girl that way.  And 'twas easy to see what she'd been
+through with Cousin Harriet and that brat.  We tried to comfort her
+all we could; promised to have a hunt through Long Island and the
+directory, and to help get her another place when she got back from
+the South, and so on.  But 'twas kind of unsatisfactory.  'Twas her
+Mike she wanted.
+
+"'I told the Father about it at the church up there,' she says,
+'and he wrote, but the letters was lost, I guess.  And I thought if
+I might see a priest here in New York he might help me.  But the
+mistress is to go at noon to-morrer, and I'll have no time.  What
+SHALL I do?' says she, and commenced to cry again.
+
+"Then I had an idea.  'Priest?' says I.  'There's a fine big
+church, with a cross on the ridgepole of it, not five minutes' walk
+from this house.  I see it as we was comin' up.  Why don't you run
+down there this minute?' I says.
+
+"No, she didn't want to leave Archibald.  Suppose he should wake
+up.
+
+"'All right,' says I.  'Then I'll go myself.  And I'll fetch a
+priest up here if I have to tote him on my back, like the feller
+does the codfish in the advertisin' picture.'
+
+"I didn't have to tote him.  He lived in a mighty fine house,
+hitched onto the church, and there was half a dozen assistant
+parsons to help him do his preachin'.  But he was big and fat and
+gray-haired and as jolly and as kind-hearted a feller as you'd want
+to meet.  He said he'd come right along; and he done it.
+
+"Phinney opened the door for us.  'What's the row?' says I, lookin'
+at his face.
+
+"'Row?' he snorts; 'there's row enough for six.  That da--excuse
+me, mister--that cussed Archibald has woke up.'
+
+"He had; there wa'n't no doubt about it.  And he was raisin' hob,
+too.  The candy, mixed up with the dinner, had put his works in
+line with his disposition, and he was poundin' and yellin' upstairs
+enough to wake the dead.  Margaret leaned over the balusters.
+
+"'Is it the Father?' she says.  'Oh, dear! what'll I do?'
+
+"'Send some of the other servants to the boy,' says the priest,
+'and come down yourself.'
+
+"Simeon, lookin' kind of foolish, explained what had become of the
+other servants.  Father McGrath--that was his name--laughed and
+shook all over.
+
+"'Very well,' says he.  'Then bring the young man down.  Perhaps
+he'll be quiet here.'
+
+"So pretty soon down come Margaret with Archibald, full of the Old
+Scratch, as usual, dressed up gay in a kind of red blanket nighty,
+with a rope around the middle of it.  The young one spotted Simeon,
+and set up a whoop.
+
+"'Oh! there's the funny whiskers,' he sings out.
+
+"'Good evenin', my son,' says the priest.
+
+"'Who's the fat man?' remarks Archibald, sociable.  'I never saw
+such a red fat man.  What makes him so red and fat?'
+
+"These questions didn't make Father McGrath any paler.  He laughed,
+of course, but not as if 'twas the funniest thing he ever heard.
+
+"'So you think I'm fat, do you, my boy?' says he.
+
+"'Yes, I do,' says Archibald.  'Fat and red and funny.  Most as
+funny as the whisker man.  I never saw such funny-lookin' people.'
+
+"He commenced to point and holler and laugh.  Poor Margaret was so
+shocked and mortified she didn't know what to do.
+
+"'Stop your noise, sonny,' says I.  'This gentleman wants to talk
+to your nurse.'
+
+"The answer I got was some unexpected.
+
+"'What makes your feet so big?' says Archie, pointin' at my Sunday
+boots.  'Why do you wear shoes like that?  Can't you help it?
+You're funny, too, aren't you?  You're funnier than the rest of
+'em.'
+
+"We all went into the library then, and Father McGrath tried to ask
+Margaret some questions.  I'd told him the heft of the yarn on the
+way from the church, and he was interested.  But the questionin'
+was mighty unsatisfyin'.  Archibald was the whole team, and the
+rest of us was yeller dogs under the wagon.
+
+"'Can't you keep that child quiet?' asks the priest, at last,
+losin' his temper and speakin' pretty sharp.
+
+"'O Archie, dear!  DO be a nice boy,' begs Margaret, for the eight
+hundredth time.
+
+"'Why don't you punish him as he deserves?'
+
+"'Father, dear, I can't.  The mistress says he's so sensitive that
+he has to have his own way.  I'd lose my place if I laid a hand on
+him.'
+
+"'Come on into the parlor and see the pictures, Archie,' says I.
+
+"'I won't,' says Archibald.  'I'm goin' to stay here and see the
+fat man make faces.'
+
+"'You see,' says Sim, apologizin' 'we can't touch him, 'cause we
+promised his ma not to interfere.  And my right hand's got cramps
+in the palm of it this minute,' he adds, glarin' at the young one.
+
+"Father McGrath stood up and reached for his hat.  Margaret began
+to cry.  Archibald, dear, whooped and kicked the furniture.  And
+just then the front-door bell rang.
+
+"For a minute I thought 'twas Cousin Harriet and the Holdens come
+back, but then I knew it was hours too early for that.  Margaret
+was too much upset to be fit for company, so I answered the bell
+myself.  And who in the world should be standin' on the steps but
+that big Dempsey man, the boss of the Golconda House, where me and
+Simeon had been stayin'; the feller we'd spoke to that very
+mornin'.
+
+"'Good evenin', sor,' says he, in a voice as deep as a well.  'I'm
+glad to find you to home, sor.  There's a telegram come for you at
+my place,' he says, 'and as your friend lift the address when he
+come for the baggage this afternoon, I brought it along to yez.  I
+was comin' this way, so 'twas no trouble.'
+
+"'That's real kind of you,' I says.  'Step inside a minute, won't
+you?'
+
+"So in he comes, and stands, holdin' his shiny beaver in his hand,
+while I tore open the telegram envelope.  'Twas a message from a
+feller I knew with the Clyde Line of steamboats.  He had found out,
+somehow, that we was in New York, and the telegram was an order for
+us to come and make him a visit.
+
+"'I hope it's not bad news, sor,' says the big chap.
+
+"'No, no,' says I.  'Not a bit of it, Mr. Dempsey.  Come on in and
+have a cigar, won't you?'
+
+"'Thank you, sor,' says he.  'I'm glad it's not the bad news.
+Sure, I ax you and your friend's pardon for bein' so short to yez
+this mornin', but I'm in that throuble lately that me timper is all
+but gone.'
+
+"'That so?' says I.  'Trouble's thick in this world, ain't it?  Me
+and Mr. Phinney got a case of trouble on our hands now, Mr.
+Dempsey, and--'
+
+"'Excuse me, sor,' he says.  'My name's not Dempsey.  I suppose you
+seen the sign with me partner's name on it.  I only bought into the
+business a while ago, and the new sign's not ready yit.  Me name is
+O'Shaughnessy, sor.'
+
+"'What?' says I.  And then: 'WHAT?'
+
+"'O'Shaughnessy.  Michael O'Shaughnessy.  I--'
+
+"'Hold on!' I sung out.  'For the land sakes, hold on!  WHAT'S your
+name?'
+
+"He bristled up like a cat.
+
+"'Michael O'Shaughnessy,' he roars, like the bull of Bashan.
+'D'yez find any fault with it?  'Twas me father's before me--
+Michael Patrick O'Shaughnessy, of County Sligo.  I'll have yez
+know--  WHAT'S THAT?'
+
+"'Twas a scream from the libr'ry.  Next thing I knew, Margaret, the
+nurse girl, was standin' in the hall, white as a Sunday shirt, and
+swingin' back and forth like a wild-carrot stalk in a gale.
+
+"'Mike!' says she, kind of low and faint.  'Mary be good to us!
+MIKE!'
+
+"And the big chap dropped his tall hat on the floor and turned as
+white as she was.
+
+"'MAGGIE!' he hollers.  And then they closed in on one another.
+
+"Sim and the priest and Archie had followed the girl into the hall.
+Me and Phinney was too flabbergasted to do anything, but big Father
+McGrath was cool as an ice box.  When Archibald, like the little
+imp he was, sets up a whoop and dives for them two, the priest
+grabs him by the rope of the blanket nighty and swings him into the
+libr'ry, and shuts the door on him.
+
+"'And now,' says he, takin' Sim and me by the arms and leadin' us
+to the parlor, 'we'll just step in here and wait a bit.'
+
+"We waited, maybe, ten minutes.  Archibald, dear, shut up in the
+libr'ry, was howlin' blue murder, but nobody paid any attention to
+him.  Then there was a knock on the door between us and the hall,
+and Father McGrath opened it.  There they was, the two of 'em--Mike
+and Maggie--lookin' red and foolish--but happy, don't talk!
+
+"'You see, sor,' says the O'Shaughnessy man to me, ''twas the five-
+thousand-dollar prize that done it.  I'd been workin' at me trade,
+sor--larnin' to tind bar it was--and I'd just got a new job where
+the pay was pretty good, and I'd sint over for Maggie, and was
+plannin' for the little flat we was to have, and the like of that,
+when I drew that prize.  And the joy of it was like handin' me a
+jolt on the jaw.  It put me out for two weeks, sor, and when I come
+to I was in Baltimore, where I'd gone to collect the money; and two
+thousand of the five was gone, and I knew me job in New York was
+gone, and I was that shamed and sick it took me three days more to
+make up me mind to come to me Cousin Tim's, where I knew Maggie'd
+be waitin' for me.  And when I did come back she was gone, too.'
+
+"'And then,' says Father McGrath, sharp, 'I suppose you went on
+another spree, and spent the rest of the money.'
+
+"'I did not, sor--axin' your pardon for contradictin' your
+riverence.  I signed the pledge, and I'll keep it, with Maggie to
+help me.  I put me three thousand into a partnership with me friend
+Dempsey, who was runnin' the Golconda House--'tis over on the East
+Side, with a fine bar trade--and I'm doin' well, barrin' that I've
+been crazy for this poor girl, and advertisin' and--'
+
+"'And look at the clothes of him!' sings out Margaret, reverentlike.
+'And is that YOUR tall hat, Mike?  To think of you with a tall hat!
+Sure it's a proud girl I am this day.  Saints forgive me, I've
+forgot Archie!'
+
+"And afore we could stop her she'd run into the hall and unfastened
+the libr'ry door.  It took her some time to smooth down the young
+one's sensitive feelin's, and while she was gone, me and Simeon
+told the O'Shaughnessy man a little of what his girl had had to put
+up with along of Cousin Harriet and Archibald.  He was mad.
+
+"'Is that the little blackguard?' he asks, pointin' to Archibald,
+who had arrived by now.
+
+"'That's the one,' says I.
+
+"Archibald looked up at him and grinned, sassy as ever.
+
+"'Father McGrath,' asks O'Shaughnessy, determined like, 'can you
+marry us this night?'
+
+"'I can,' says the Father.
+
+"'And will yez?'
+
+"'I will, with pleasure.'
+
+"'Maggie,' says Mike, 'get your hat and jacket on and come with the
+Father and me this minute.  These gintlemen here will explain to
+your lady when she comes back.  But YOU'LL come back no more.
+We'll send for your trunk to-morrer.'
+
+"Even then the girl hesitated.  She'd been so used to bein' a slave
+that I suppose she couldn't realize she was free at last.
+
+"'But, Mike, dear,' she says.  'I--oh, your lovely hat!  Put it
+down, Archie, darlin'.  Put it down!'
+
+"Archibald had been doin' a little cruisin' on his own hook, and
+he'd dug up Mike's shiny beaver where it had been dropped in the
+hall.  Now he was dancin' round with it, bangin' it on the top as
+if it was a drum.
+
+"'Put it down, PLEASE!' pleads Margaret.  'Twas plain that that
+plug was a crown of glory to her.
+
+"'Drop it, you little thafe!' yells O'Shaughnessy, makin' a dive
+for the boy.
+
+"'I won't!' screams Archibald, and starts to run.  He tripped over
+the corner of a mat, and fell flat.  The plug hat was underneath
+him, and it fell flat, too.
+
+"'Oh! oh! oh!' wails Margaret, wringin' her hands.  'Your beautiful
+hat, Mike!'
+
+"Mike's face was like a sunset.
+
+"'Your reverence,' says he, 'tell me this; don't the wife promise
+to "obey" in the marriage service?'
+
+"'She does,' says Father McGrath.
+
+"'D'ye hear that, you that's to be Margaret O'Shaughnessy?  You do?
+Well, then, as your husband that's to be in tin minutes, I order
+you to give that small divil what's comin' to him.  D'ye hear me?
+Will yez obey me, or will yez not?'
+
+"She didn't know what to do.  You could see she wanted to--her
+fingers was itchin' to do it, but--  And then Archie held up the
+ruins of the hat and commenced to laugh.
+
+"That settled it.  Next minute he was across her knee and gettin'
+what he'd been sufferin' for ever sence he was born; and gettin'
+all the back numbers along with it, too.
+
+"And in the midst of the performance Sim Phinney leans over to me
+with the most heavenly, resigned expression on his face, and says
+he:
+
+"'It ain't OUR fault, Hiram.  We promised not to interfere.'"
+
+"What did Sam Holden and his wife say when they got home?" asked
+Captain Sol, when the triumphant whoops over Archibald's righteous
+chastisement had subsided.
+
+"We didn't give him much of a chance to say anything.  I laid for
+him in the hall when he arrived and told him that Phinney had got a
+telegram and must leave immediate.  He wanted to know why, and a
+whole lot more, but I told him we'd write it.  Neither Sim nor me
+cared to face Cousin Harriet after her darlin' son had spun his
+yarn.  Ha! ha!  I'd like to have seen her face--from a safe
+distance."
+
+Captain Bailey Stitt cleared his throat.  "Referrin' to them
+automobiles," he said, "I--"
+
+"Say, Sol," interrupted Wingate, "did I ever tell you of Cap'n
+Jonadab's and my gettin' took up by the police when WE was in New
+York?"
+
+"No," replied the astounded depot master.  "Took up by the POLICE?"
+
+"Um--hm.  Surprises you, don't it?  Well, that whole trip was a
+surprise to me.
+
+"When Laban Thorp set out to thrash his son and the boy licked him
+instead, they found the old man settin' in the barnyard, holdin' on
+to his nose and grinnin' for pure joy.
+
+"'Hurt?' says he.  'Why, some.  But think of it!  Only think of it!
+I didn't believe Bill had it in him.'
+
+"Well, that's the way I felt when Cap'n Jonadab sprung the New York
+plan on to me.  I was pretty nigh as much surprised as Labe.  The
+idea of a man with a chronic case of lockjaw of the pocketbook,
+same as Jonadab had worried along under ever sence I knew him,
+suddenly breakin' loose with a notion to go to New York on a
+pleasure cruise!  'Twas too many for me.  I set and looked at him.
+
+"'Oh, I mean it, Barzilla,' he says.  'I ain't been to New York
+sence I was mate on the Emma Snow, and that was 'way back in the
+eighties.  That is, to stop I ain't.  That time we went through on
+the way to Peter T.'s weddin' don't count, 'cause we only went in
+the front door and out the back, like Squealer Wixon went through
+high school.  Let's you and me go and stay two or three days and
+have a real high old time,' says he.
+
+"I fetched a long breath.  'Jonadab,' I says, don't scare a feller
+this way; I've got a weak heart.  If you're goin' to start in and
+be divilish in your old age, why, do it kind of gradual.  Let's go
+over to the billiard room and have a bottle of sass'parilla and a
+five-cent cigar, just to break the ice.'
+
+"But that only made him mad.
+
+"'You talk like a fish,' he says.  'I mean it.  Why can't we go?
+It's September, the Old Home House is shut up for the season, you
+and me's done well--fur's profits are concerned--and we ought to
+have a change, anyway.  We've got to stay here in Orham all
+winter.'
+
+"'Have you figgered out how much it's goin' to cost?' I asked him.
+
+"Yes, he had.  'It won't be so awful expensive,' he says.  'I've
+got some stock in the railroad and that'll give me a pass fur's
+Fall River.  And we can take a lunch to eat on the boat.  And a
+stateroom's a dollar; that's fifty cents apiece.  And my daughter's
+goin' to Denboro on a visit next week, so I'd have to pay board if
+I stayed to home.  Come on, Barzilla! don't be so tight with your
+money.'
+
+"So I said I'd go, though I didn't have any pass, nor no daughter
+to feed me free gratis for nothin' when I got back.  And when we
+started, on the followin' Monday, nothin' would do but we must be
+at the depot at two o'clock so's not to miss the train, which left
+at quarter past three.
+
+"I didn't sleep much that night on the boat.  For one thing, our
+stateroom was a nice lively one, alongside of the paddle box and
+just under the fog whistle; and for another, the supper that
+Jonadab had brought, bein' mainly doughnuts and cheese, wa'n't the
+best cargo to take to bed with you.  But it didn't make much
+diff'rence, 'cause we turned out at four, so's to see the scenery
+and git our money's worth.  What was left of the doughnuts and
+cheese we had for breakfast.
+
+"We made the dock on time, and the next thing was to pick out a
+hotel.  I was for cruisin' along some of the main streets until we
+hove in sight of a place that looked sociable and not too
+expensive.  But no; Jonadab had it all settled for me.  We was
+goin' to the 'Wayfarer's Inn,' a boardin' house where he'd put up
+once when he was mate of the Emma Snow.  He said 'twas a fine place
+and you could git as good ham and eggs there as a body'd want to
+eat.
+
+"So we set sail for the 'Wayfarer's,' and of all the times gittin'
+to a place--don't talk!  We asked no less than nine policemen and
+one hundred and two other folks, and it cost us thirty cents in car
+fares, which pretty nigh broke Jonadab's heart.  However, we found
+it, finally, 'way off amongst a nest of brick houses and peddler
+carts and children, and it wa'n't the 'Wayfarer's Inn' no more, but
+was down in the shippin' list as the 'Golconda House.'  Jonadab
+said the neighborhood had changed some sence he was there, but he
+guessed we'd better chance it, 'cause the board was cheap.
+
+"We had a nine-by-ten room up aloft somewheres, and there we set
+down on the edge of the bed and a chair to take account of stock,
+as you might say.
+
+"'Now, I tell you, Jonadab,' says I; 'we don't want to waste no
+time, and we've got the day afore us.  What do you say if we cruise
+along the water front for a spell?  There's ha'f a dozen Orham
+folks aboard diff'rent steamers that hail from this port, and
+'twouldn't be no more'n neighborly to call on 'em.  There's Silas
+Baker's boy, Asa--he's with the Savannah Line and he'd be mighty
+glad to see us.  And there's--'
+
+"But Jonadab held up his hand.  He'd been mysterious as a baker's
+mince pie ever sence we started, hintin' at somethin' he'd got to
+do when we'd got to New York.  And now he out with it.
+
+"'Barzilla,' he says, 'I ain't sayin' but what I'd like to go to
+the wharves with you, first rate.  And we will go, too.  But afore
+we do anything else I've got an errand that must be attended to.
+'Twas give to me by a dyin' man,' he says, 'and I promised him I'd
+do it.  So that comes first of all.'
+
+"He got his wallet out of his inside vest pocket, where it had been
+pinned in tight to keep it safe from robbers, unwound a foot or so
+of leather strap, and dug up a yeller piece of paper that looked
+old enough to be Methusalem's will, pretty nigh.
+
+"'Do you remember Patrick Kelly in Orham?' he asks.
+
+"'Who?' says I.  'Pat Kelly, the Irishman, that lived in the little
+old shack back of your barn?  Course I do.  But he's been dead for
+I don't know how long.'
+
+"'I know he has.  Do you remember his boy Jim that run away from
+home?'
+
+"'Let's see,' I says.  'Seems to me I do.  Freckled, red-headed
+rooster, wa'n't he?  And of all the imps of darkness that ever--'
+
+"'S-sh-sh!' he interrupted solemn.  'Don't say that now, Barzilla.
+Sounds kind of irreverent.  Well, me and old Pat was pretty
+friendly, in a way, though he did owe me rent.  When he was sick
+with the pleurisy he sends for me and he says, "Cap'n 'Wixon," says
+he, "you're pretty close with the money," he says--he was kind of
+out of his head at the time and liable to say foolish things--
+"you're pretty close," he says, "but you're a man of your word.  My
+boy Jimmie, that run away, was the apple of my eye."'
+
+"'That's what he said about his girl Maggie that was took up for
+stealin' Mrs. Elkanah Higgins's spoons,' I says.  'He had a healthy
+crop of apples in HIS orchard.'
+
+"'S-sh-h!  DON'T talk so!  I feel as if the old man's spirit was
+with us this minute.  "He's the apple of my eye," he says, "and he
+run away, after me latherin' the life out of him with a wagon
+spoke.  'Twas all for his good, but he didn't understand, bein' but
+a child.  And now I've heard," he says, "that he's workin' at 116
+East Blank Street in the city of New York.  Cap'n Wixon, you're a
+man of money and a travelin' man," he says (I was fishin' in them
+days).  "When you go to New York," he says, "I want you to promise
+me to go to the address on this paper and hunt up Jimmie.  Tell him
+I forgive him for lickin' him," he says, "and die happy.  Will you
+promise me that, Cap'n, on your word as a gentleman?"  And I
+promised him.  And he died in less than ten months afterwards, poor
+thing.'
+
+"'But that was sixteen--eighteen--nineteen years ago,' says I.
+'And the boy run away three years afore that.  You've been to New
+York in the past nineteen years, once anyhow.'
+
+"'I know it.  But I forgot.  I'm ashamed of it, but I forgot.  And
+when I was goin' through the things up attic at my daughter's last
+Friday, seein' what I could find for the rummage sale at the
+church, I come across my old writin' desk, and in it was this very
+piece of paper with the address on it just as I wrote it down.  And
+me startin' for New York in three days!  Barzilla, I swan to man, I
+believe something SENT me to that attic.'
+
+"I knew what sent him there and so did the church folks, judgin' by
+their remarks when the contribution came in.  But I was too much
+set back by the whole crazy business to say anything about that.
+
+"'Look here, Jonadab Wixon,' I sings out, 'do you mean to tell me
+that we've got to put in the whole forenoon ransackin' New York to
+find a boy that run off twenty-two years ago?'
+
+"'It won't take the forenoon,' he says.  'I've got the number,
+ain't I?'
+
+"'Yes, you've got the number where he WAS.  If you want to know
+where I think he's likely to be now, I'd try the jail.'
+
+"But he said I was unfeelin' and disobligin' and lots more, so, to
+cut the argument short, I agreed to go.  And off we put to hunt up
+116 East Blank Street.  And when we located it, after a good hour
+of askin' questions, and payin' car fares and wearin' out shoe
+leather, 'twas a Chinese laundry.
+
+"'Well,' I says, sarcastic, 'here we be.  Which one of the heathen
+do you think is Jimmie?  If he had an inch or so more of upper lip,
+I'd gamble on that critter with the pink nighty and the baskets on
+his feet.  He has a kind of familiar chicken-stealin' look in his
+eye.  Oh, come down on the wharves, Jonadab, and be sensible.'
+
+"Would you believe it, he wa'n't satisfied.  We must go into the
+wash shop and ask the Chinamen if they knew Jimmie Kelly.  So we
+went in and the powwow begun.
+
+"'Twas a mighty unsatisfyin' interview.  Jonadab's idea of talkin'
+to furriners is to yell at 'em as if they was stone deef.  If they
+don't understand what you say, yell louder.  So between his yells
+and the heathen's jabber and grunts the hullabaloo was worse than a
+cat in a hen yard.  Folks begun to stop outside the door and listen
+and grin.
+
+"'What did he say?' asks the Cap'n, turnin' to me.
+
+"'I don't know,' says I, 'but I cal'late he's gettin' ready to send
+a note up to the crazy asylum.  Come on out of here afore I go
+loony myself.'
+
+"So he done it, finally, cross as all get out, and swearin' that
+all Chinese was no good and oughtn't to be allowed in this country.
+But he wouldn't give up, not yet.  He must scare up some of the
+neighbors and ask them.  The fifth man that we asked was an old
+chap who remembered that there used to be a liquor saloon once
+where the laundry was now.  But he didn't know who run it or what
+had become of him.
+
+"'Never mind,' I says.  'You're as warm as you're likely to be this
+trip.  A rum shop is just about the place I'd expect that Kelly boy
+WOULD be in.  And, if he's like the rest of his relations on his
+dad's side, he drank himself to death years ago.  NOW will you head
+for the Savannah Line?'
+
+"Not much, he wouldn't.  He had another notion.  We'd look in the
+directory.  That seemed to have a glimmer of sense somewheres in
+its neighborhood, so we found an apothecary store and the clerk
+handed us out a book once again as big as a church Bible.
+
+"'Kelly,' says Jonadab.  'Yes, here 'tis.  Now, "James Kelly."
+Land of Love!  Barzilla, look here.'
+
+"I looked, and there wa'n't no less than a dozen pages of James
+Kellys beginning with fifty James A.'s and endin' with four James
+Z.'s.  The Y in 'New York' ought to be a C, judgin' by that
+directory.
+
+"'Godfrey mighty!' I says.  'This ain't no forenoon's job, Jonadab.
+If you're goin' through that list you'll have to spend the rest of
+your life here.  Only, unless you want to be lonesome, you'll have
+to change your name to Kelly.'
+
+"'If I'd only got his middle letter,' says he, mournful, ''twould
+have been easier.  He had four middle names, if I remember right--
+the old man was great on names--and 'twas too much trouble to write
+'em all down.  Well, I've done my duty, anyhow.  We'll go and call
+on Ase Baker.'
+
+"But 'twas after eleven o'clock then, and the doughnuts and cheese
+I had for breakfast was beginnin' to feel as if they wanted
+company.  So we decided to go back to the Golconda and have some
+dinner first.
+
+"We had ham and eggs for dinner, some that was left over from the
+last time Jonadab stopped there, I cal'late.  Lucky there was hot
+bread and coffee on the bill or we'd never got a square meal.  Then
+we went up to our room and the Cap'n laid down on the bed.  He was
+beat out, he said, and wanted to rest up a spell afore haulin'
+anchor for another cruise."
+
+
+CHAPTER XII
+
+A VISION SENT
+
+
+"Where's the arrestin' come in?" demanded Stitt.
+
+"Comes quick now, Bailey.  Plenty quick enough for me and Jonadab,
+I tell you that!  After we got to our room the Cap'n went to sleep
+pretty soon and I set in the one chair, readin' the newspaper and
+wishin' I hadn't ate so many of the warm bricks that the Golconda
+folks hoped was biscuit.  They made me feel like a schooner goin'
+home in ballast.  I guess I was drowsin' off myself, but there
+comes a most unearthly yell from the bed and I jumped ha'f out of
+the chair.  There was Jonadab settin' up and lookin' wild.
+
+"'What in the world?' says I.
+
+"'Oh!  Ugh!  My soul!' says he.
+
+"'Your soul, hey?' says I.  'Is that all?  I thought mebbe you'd
+lost a quarter.'
+
+"'Barzilla,' he says, comin' to and starin' at me solemn,
+'Barzilla, I've had a dream--a wonderful dream.'
+
+"'Well,' I says, 'I ain't surprised.  A feller that h'isted in as
+much fried dough as you did ought to expect--'
+
+"'But I tell you 'twas a WONDERFUL dream,' he says.  'I dreamed I
+was on Blank Street, where we was this mornin', and Patrick Kelly
+comes to me and p'ints his finger right in my face.  I see him as
+plain as I see you now.  And he says to me--he said it over and
+over, two or three times--Seventeen," says he, "Seventeen."  Now
+what do you think of that?'
+
+"'Humph!' I says.  'I ain't surprised.  I think 'twas just
+seventeen of them biscuits that you got away with.  Wonder to me
+you didn't see somebody worse'n old Pat.'
+
+"But he was past jokin'.  You never see a man so shook up by the
+nightmare as he was by that one.  He kept goin' over it and tellin'
+how natural old Kelly looked and how many times he said 'Seventeen'
+to him.
+
+"'Now what did he mean by it?' he says.  'Don't tell me that was a
+common dream, 'cause twa'n't.  No, sir, 'twas a vision sent to me,
+and I know it.  But what did he mean?'
+
+"'I think he meant you was seventeen kinds of an idiot,' I snorts,
+disgusted.  'Get up off that bed and stop wavin' your arms, will
+you?  He didn't mean for you to turn yourself into a windmill,
+that's sartin sure.'
+
+"Then he hits his knee a slap that sounds like a window blind
+blowin' to.  'I've got it!' he sings out.  'He meant for me to go
+to number seventeen on that street.  That's what he meant.'
+
+"I laughed and made fun of him, but I might as well have saved my
+breath.  He was sure Pat Kelly's ghost had come hikin' back from
+the hereafter to tell him to go to 17 Blank Street and find his
+boy.  'Else why was he ON Blank Street?' he says.  'You tell me
+that.'
+
+"I couldn't tell him.  It's enough for me to figger out what makes
+live folks act the way they do, let alone dead ones.  And Cap'n
+Jonadab was a Spiritu'list on his mother's side.  It ended by my
+agreein' to give the Jimmie chase one more try.
+
+"'But it's got to be the last,' I says.  'When you get to number
+seventeen don't you say you think the old man meant to say
+"seventy" and stuttered.'
+
+"Number 17 Blank Street was a little combination fruit and paper
+store run by an Eyetalian with curly hair and the complexion of a
+molasses cooky.  His talk sounded as if it had been run through a
+meat chopper.  All he could say was, 'Nica grape, genta'men?  On'y
+fifteen cent a pound.  Nica grape?  Nica apple?  Nica pear?  Nica
+ploom?'
+
+"'Kelly?' says Jonadab, hollerin' as usual.  'Kelly! d'ye
+understand?  K-E-L-Kel L-Y-ly, Kelly.  YOU know, KELLY!  We want to
+find him.'
+
+"And just then up steps a feller about six feet high and three foot
+through.  He was dressed in checkerboard clothes, some gone to
+seed, and you could hardly see the blue tie he had on for the glass
+di'mond in it.  Oh, he was a little wilted now--for the lack of
+water, I judge--but 'twas plain that he'd been a sunflower in his
+time.  He'd just come out of a liquor store next door to the fruit
+shop and was wipin' his mouth with the back of his hand.
+
+"'What's this I hear?' says he, fetchin' Jonadab a welt on the back
+like a mast goin' by the board.  'Is it me friend Kelly you're
+lookin' for?'
+
+"I was just goin' to tell him no, not likin' his looks, but Jonadab
+cut in ahead of me, out of breath from the earthquake the feller
+had landed him, but excited as could be.
+
+"'Yes, yes!' says he.  'It's Mr. Kelly we want.  Do you know him?'
+
+"'Do I know him?  Why, me bucko, 'tis me old college chum he is.
+Come on with me and we'll give him the glad hand.'
+
+"He grabs Jonadab by the arm and starts along the sidewalk,
+steerin' a toler'ble crooked course, but gainin' steady by jerks.
+
+"'I was on me way to Kelly's place now,' says he.  'And here it is.
+Sure didn't I bate the bookies blind on Rosebud but yesterday--or
+was it the day before?  I don't know, but come on, me lads, and
+we'll do him again.'
+
+"He turned in at a little narrer entry-like, and went stumblin' up
+a flight of dirty stairs.  I caught hold of Jonadab's coat tails
+and pulled him back.
+
+"'Where you goin', you crazy loon?' I whispered.  'Can't you see
+he's three sheets in the wind?  And you haven't told him what Kelly
+you want, nor nothin'.'
+
+"But I might as well have hollered at a stone wall.  'I don't care
+if he's as fur gone in liquor as Belshazzer's goat,' sputters the
+Cap'n, all worked up.  'He's takin' us to a Kelly, ain't he?  And
+is it likely there'd be another one within three doors of the
+number I dreamed about?  Didn't I tell you that dream was a vision
+sent?  Don't lay to NOW, Barzilla, for the land sakes!  It's
+Providence a-workin'.'
+
+"'Cording to my notion the sunflower looked more like an agent from
+t'other end of the line than one from Providence, but just then he
+commenced to yell for us and upstairs we went, Jonadab first.
+
+"'Whisht!' says the checkerboard, holdin' on to Jonadab's collar
+and swingin' back and forth.  'Before we proceed to blow in on me
+friend Kelly, let us come to an understandin' concernin' and
+touchin' on--and--and--I don't know.  But b'ys,' says he, solemn
+and confidential, 'are you on the square?  Are yez dead game
+sports, hey?'
+
+"'Yes, yes!' says Jonadab.  'Course we be.  Mr. Kelly and us are
+old friends.  We've come I don't know how fur on purpose to see
+him.  Now where's--'
+
+"'Say no more,' hollers the feller.  'Say no more.  Come on with
+yez.'  And he marches down the dark hall to a door with a 'To let'
+sign on it and fetches it a bang with his fist.  It opens a little
+ways and a face shows in the crack.
+
+"'Hello, Frank!' hails the sunflower, cheerful.  'Will you take
+that ugly mug of yours out of the gate and lave me friends in?'
+
+"'What's the matter wid you, Mike?' asks the chap at the door.
+'Yer can't bring them two yaps in here and you know it.  Gwan out
+of this.'
+
+"He tried to shut the door, but the checkerboard had his foot
+between it and the jamb.  You might as well have tried to shove in
+the broadside of an ocean liner as to push against that foot.
+
+"'These gents are friends of mine,' says he.  'Frank, I'll do yez
+the honor of an introduction to Gin'ral Grant and Dan'l O'Connell.
+Open that door and compose your face before I'm obliged to break
+both of 'em.'
+
+"'But I tell you, Mike, I can't,' says the door man, lookin'
+scared.  'The boss is out, and you know--'
+
+"'WILL you open that door?' roars the big chap.  And with that he
+hove his shoulder against the panels and jammed the door open by
+main force, all but flattenin' the other feller behind it.  'Walk
+in, Gin'ral,' he says to Jonadab, and in we went, me wonderin' what
+was comin' next, and not darin' to guess.
+
+"There was a kind of partitioned off hallway inside, with another
+door in the partition.  We opened that, and there was a good-sized
+room, filled with men, smokin' and standin' around.  A high board
+fence was acrost one end of the room, and from behind it comes a
+jinglin' of telephone bells and the sounds of talk.  The floor was
+covered with torn papers, the window blinds was shut, the gas was
+burnin' blue, and, between it and the smoke, the smells was as
+various as them in a fish glue factory.  On the fence was a couple
+of blackboards with 'Belmont' and 'Brighton' and suchlike names in
+chalk wrote on 'em, and beneath that a whole mess in writin' and
+figures like, 'Red Tail 4--Wt--108--Jock Smith--5--1,' 'Sourcrout
+5--Wt--99--Jock Jones--20--5,' and similar rubbish.  And the gang--
+a mighty mixed lot--was scribblin' in little books and watchin'
+each other as if they was afraid of havin' their pockets picked;
+though, to look at 'em, you'd have guessed the biggest part had
+nothin' in their pockets but holes.
+
+"The six-foot checkerboard--who, it turned out, answered to the
+hail of 'Mike'--seemed to be right at home with the gang.  He
+called most of 'em by their first names and went sasshayin' around,
+weltin' 'em on the back and tellin' 'em how he'd 'put crimps in the
+bookies rolls t'other day,' and a lot more stuff that they seemed
+to understand, but was hog Greek to me and Jonadab.  He'd forgot us
+altogether which was a mercy the way I looked at it, and I steered
+the Cap'n over into a corner and we come to anchor on a couple of
+rickety chairs.
+
+"'What--why--what kind of a place IS this, Barzilla?' whispers
+Jonadab, scared.
+
+"'Sh-h-h!' says I.  'Land knows.  Just set quiet and hang on to
+your watch.'
+
+"'But--but I want to find Kelly,' says he.
+
+"'I'd give somethin' to find a back door,' says I.  'Ain't this a
+collection of dock rats though!  If this is a part of your dream,
+Jonadab, I wish you'd turn over and wake up.  Oh land! here's one
+murderer headin' this way.  Keep your change in your fist and keep
+the fist shut.'
+
+"A more'n average rusty peep, with a rubber collar on and no
+necktie, comes slinkin' over to us.  He had a smile like a crack in
+a plate.
+
+"'Say, gents,' he says, 'have you made your bets yet?  I've got a
+dead straight line on the handicap,' says he, 'and I'll put you
+next for a one spot.  It's a sure t'ing at fifteen to three.  What
+do you say?'
+
+"I didn't say nuthin'; but that fool dream was rattlin' round in
+Jonadab's skull like a bean in a blowgun, and he sees a chance for
+a shot.
+
+"'See here, mister,' he says.  'Can you tell me where to locate Mr.
+Kelly?'
+
+"'Who--Pete?' says the feller.  'Oh, he ain't in just now.  But
+about that handicap.  I like the looks of youse and I'll let youse
+in for a dollar.  Or, seein' it's you, we'll say a half.  Only
+fifty cents.  I wouldn't do better for my own old man,' he says.
+
+"While the Cap'n was tryin' to unravel one end of this gibberish I
+spoke up prompt.
+
+"'Say,' says I, 'tell me this, will you?  Is the Kelly who owns
+this--this palace, named Jimmie--James, I mean?'
+
+"'Naw,' says he.  'Sure he ain't.  It's Pete Kelly, of course--
+Silver Pete.  But what are you givin' us?  Are you bettin' on the
+race, or ain't you?'
+
+"Well, Jonadab understood that.  He bristled up like a brindled
+cat.  If there's any one thing the Cap'n is down on, it's gamblin'
+and such--always exceptin' when he knows he's won already.  You've
+seen that kind, maybe.
+
+"'Young feller,' he says, perkish, 'I want you to know that me and
+my friend ain't the bettin' kind.  What sort of a hole IS this,
+anyway?'
+
+"The rubber collared critter backed off, lookin' worried.  He goes
+acrost the room, and I see him talkin' to two or three other
+thieves as tough as himself.  And they commenced to stare at us and
+scowl.
+
+"'Come on,' I whispered to Jonadab.  'Let's get out of this place
+while we can.  There ain't no Jimmie Kelly here, or if there is you
+don't want to find him.'
+
+"He was as willin' to make tracks as I was, by this time, and we
+headed for the door in the partition.  But Rubber Collar and some
+of the others got acrost our bows.
+
+"'Cut it out,' says one of 'em.  'You can't get away so easy.  Hi,
+Frank! Frank!  Who let these turnip pullers in here, anyhow?  Who
+are they?'
+
+"The chap who was tendin' door comes out of his coop.  'You've got
+me,' he says.  'They come in with Big Mike, and he was loaded and
+scrappy and jammed 'em through.  Said they was pals of his.  Where
+is he?'
+
+"There was a hunt for Mike, and, when they got his bearin's, there
+he was keeled over on a bench, breathin' like an escape valve.  And
+an admiral's salute wouldn't have woke him up.  The whole crew was
+round us by this time, some ugly, and the rest laffin' and carryin'
+on.
+
+"'It's the Barkwurst gang,' says one.
+
+"'It's old Bark himself,' says another.  'Look at them lace
+curtains.'  And he points to Jonadab's whiskers.
+
+"'This one's Jacobs in disguise,' sings out somebody else.  'You
+can tell him by the Rube get-up.  Haw! haw!'
+
+"'Soak 'em!  Do 'em up!  Don't let 'em out!' hollers a ha'f dozen
+more.
+
+"Jonadab was game; I'll say that for him.  And I hadn't been second
+mate in my time for nothin'.
+
+"'Take your hands off me!' yells the Cap'n.  'I come in here to
+find a man I'm lookin' for, James Kelly it was, and--  You would,
+would you!  Stand by, Barzilla!'
+
+"I stood by.  Rubber Collar got one from me that made him remember
+home and mother, I'll bet.  Anyhow, my knuckles ached for two days
+afterwards.  And Jonadab was just as busy.  But I cal'late we'd
+have been ready for the oven in another five minutes if the door
+hadn't bu'st open with a bang, and a loud dressed chap, with the
+sweat pourin' down his face, come tearin' in.
+
+"'Beat it, fellers!' he yells.  'The place is goin' to be pinched.
+I've just had the tip, and they're right on top of me.'
+
+"THEN there was times.  Everybody was shoutin' and swearin' and
+fallin' over each other to get out.  I was kind of lost in the
+shuffle, and the next thing I remember for sartin is settin' up on
+Rubber Collar's stomach and lookin' foggy at the door, where the
+loud dressed man was wrestlin' with a policeman.  And there was
+police at the windows and all around.
+
+"Well, don't talk!  I got up, resurrects Jonadab from under a heap
+of gamblers and furniture, and makes for harbor in our old corner.
+The police was mighty busy, especially a fat, round-faced, red-
+mustached man, with gold bands on his cap and arms, that the rest
+called ' Cap'n.'  Him and the loud dressed chap who'd give the
+alarm was talkin' earnest close to us.
+
+"'I can't help it, Pete,' says the police cap'n.  "Twas me or the
+Vice Suppression crowd.  They've been on to you for two weeks back.
+I only just got in ahead of 'em as it was.  No, you'll have to go
+along with the rest and take your chances.  Quiet now, everybody,
+or you'll get it harder,' he roars, givin' orders like the skipper
+of a passenger boat.  'Stand in line and wait your turns for the
+wagon.'
+
+"Jonadab grabbed me by the wrist.  He was pale and shakin' all
+over.
+
+"'Oh, Lordy!' says he, 'we're took up.  Will we have to go to jail,
+do you think?'
+
+"'I don't know,' I says, disgusted.  'I presume likely we will.
+Did you dream anything like this?  You'd better see if you can't
+dream yourself out now.'  Twas rubbin' it in, but I was mad.
+
+"'Oh! oh!' says he, flappin' his hands.  'And me a deacon of the
+church!  Will folks know it, do you think?'
+
+"'Will they know it!  Sounds as if they knew it already.  Just
+listen to that.'
+
+"The first wagon full of prizes was bein' loaded in down at the
+front door, and the crowd outside was cheerin' 'em.  Judgin' by the
+whoops and hurrahs there wa'n't no less than a million folks at the
+show, and they was gettin' the wuth of admission.
+
+"'Oh, dear!' groans Jonadab.  'And it'll be in the papers and all!
+I can't stand this.'
+
+"And afore I could stop him he'd run over and tackled the head
+policeman.
+
+"'Mister--Mister Cap'n,' he says, pantin', 'there's been a mistake,
+an awful mis--take--'
+
+"'That's right,' says the police cap'n, 'there has.  Six or eight
+of you tin horns got clear.  But--'  Then he noticed who was
+speakin' to him and his mouth dropped open like a hatch.  'Well,
+saints above!' he says.  'Have the up-state delegates got to
+buckin' the ponies, too?  Why ain't you back home killin' pertater
+bugs?  You ought to be ashamed.'
+
+"'But we wa'n't gamblin'--me and my friend wa'n't.  We was led in
+here by mistake.  We was told that a feller named Kelly lived here
+and we're huntin' for a man of that name.  I've got a message to
+him from his poor dead father back in Orham.  We come all the way
+from Orham, Mass.--to find him and--'
+
+"The police cap'n turned around then and stared at him hard.
+'Humph!' says he, after a spell.  'Go over there and set down till
+I want you.  No, you'll go now and we'll waste no breath on it.  Go
+on, do you hear!'
+
+"So we went, and there we set for ha'f an hour, while the rest of
+the gang and the blackboards and the paper slips and the telephones
+and Big Mike and his chair was bein' carted off to the wagon.
+Once, when one of the constables was beatin' acrost to get us, the
+police cap'n spoke to him.
+
+"'You can leave these two,' he says.  'I'll take care of them.'
+
+"So, finally, when there was nothin' left but the four walls and us
+and some of the police, he takes me and Jonadab by the elbows and
+heads for the door.
+
+"'Now,' says he, 'walk along quiet and peaceable and tell me all
+about it.  Get out of this!' he shouts to the crowd of small boys
+and loafers on the sidewalk, 'or I'll take you, too.'
+
+"The outsiders fell astern, lookin' heartbroke and disapp'inted
+that we wa'n't hung on the spot, and the fat boss policeman and us
+two paraded along slow but grand.  I felt like the feller that was
+caught robbin' the poorhouse, and I cal'late Jonadab felt the same,
+only he was so busy beggin' and pleadin' and explainin' that he
+couldn't stop to feel anything.
+
+"He told it all, the whole fool yarn from one end to t'other.  How
+old Pat give him the message and how he went to the laundry, and
+about his ridiculous dream, every word.  And the fat policeman
+shook all over, like a barrel of cod livers.
+
+"By and by we got to a corner of a street and hove to.  I could see
+the station house loomin' up large ahead.  Fatty took a card from
+his pocketbook, wrote on it with a pencil, and then hailed a hack,
+one of them stern-first kind where the driver sits up aloft 'way
+aft.  He pushed back the cap with the gilt wreath on it, and I
+could see his red hair shinin' like a sunset.
+
+"'Here,' says he to the hack driver, 'take these--this pair of
+salads to the--what d'ye call it?--the Golconda House, wherever on
+top of the pavement that is.  And mind you, deliver 'em safe and
+don't let the truck horses get a bite at 'em.  And at half-past
+eight to-night you call for 'em and bring 'em here,' handin' up the
+card he'd written on.
+
+"''Tis the address of my house, I'm givin',' he says, turnin' to
+Jonadab.  'I'll be off duty then and we'll have dinner and talk
+about old times.  To think of you landin' in Silver Pete's pool
+room!  Dear! dear!  Why, Cap'n Wixon, barrin' that your whiskers
+are a bit longer and a taste grayer, I'd 'a' known you anywheres.
+Many's the time I've stole apples over your back fence.  I'm Jimmie
+Kelly,' says he."
+
+"Well, by mighty!" exclaimed the depot master, slapping his knee.
+"So HE was the Kelly man!  Humph!"
+
+"Funny how it turned out, wa'n't it?" said Barzilla.  "Course,
+Cap'n Jonadab was perfectly sat on spiritu'lism and signs and omens
+and such after that.  He's had his fortune told no less'n eight
+times sence, and, nigh's I can find out, each time it's different.
+The amount of blondes and brunettes and widows and old maids that
+he's slated to marry, accordin' to them fortune tellers, is
+perfectly scandalous.  If he lives up to the prophecies, Brigham
+Young wouldn't be a twospot 'longside of him."
+
+"It's funny about dreams," mused Captain Hiram.  "Folks are always
+tellin' about their comin' true, but none of mine ever did.  I used
+to dream I was goin' to be drowned, but I ain't been yet."
+
+The depot master laughed.  "Well," he observed, "once, when I was a
+youngster, I dreamed two nights runnin' that I was bein' hung.  I
+asked my Sunday school teacher if he believed dreams come true, and
+he said yes, sometimes.  Then I told him my dream, and he said he
+believed in that one.  I judged that any other finish for me would
+have surprised him.  But, somehow or other, they haven't hung me
+yet."
+
+"There was a hired girl over at the Old Home House who was sat on
+fortune tellin'," said Wingate.  "Her name was Effie, and--"
+
+"Look here!" broke in Captain Bailey Stitt, righteous indignation
+in his tone, "I've started no less than nineteen different times to
+tell you about how I went sailin' in an automobile.  Now do you
+want to hear it, or don't you?"
+
+"How you went SAILIN' in an auto?" repeated Barzilla.  "Went
+ridin', you mean."
+
+"I mean sailin'.  I went ridin', too, but--"
+
+"You'll have to excuse me, Bailey," interrupted Captain Hiram,
+rising and looking at his watch.  "I've stayed here a good deal
+longer'n I ought to, already.  I must be gettin' on home to see how
+poor little Dusenberry, my boy, is feelin'.  I do hope he's better
+by now.  I wish Dr. Parker hadn't gone out of town."
+
+The depot master rose also.  "And I'll have to be excused, too," he
+declared.  "It's most time for the up train.  Good-by, Hiram.  Give
+my regards to Sophrony, and if there's anything I can do to help,
+in case your baby should be sick, just sing out, won't you?"
+
+"But I want to tell about this automobilin' scrape," protested
+Captain Bailey.  "It was one of them things that don't happen every
+day."
+
+"So was that fortune business of Effie's," declared Wingate.
+"Honest, the way it worked out was queer enough."
+
+But the train whistled just then and the group broke up.  Captain
+Sol went out to the platform, where Cornelius Rowe, Ed Crocker,
+Beriah Higgins, Obed Gott, and other interested citizens had
+already assembled.  Wingate and Stitt followed.  As for Captain
+Hiram Baker, he hurried home, his conscience reproving him for
+remaining so long away from his wife and poor little Hiram Joash,
+more familiarly known as "Dusenberry."
+
+
+CHAPTER XIII
+
+DUSENBERRY'S BIRTHDAY
+
+
+Mrs. Baker met her husband at the door.
+
+"How is he?" was the Captain's first question.  "Better, hey?"
+
+"No," was the nervous answer.  "No, I don't think he is.  His
+throat's terrible sore and the fever's just as bad."
+
+Again Captain Hiram's conscience smote him.
+
+"Dear! dear!" he exclaimed.  "And I've been loafin' around the
+depot with Sol Berry and the rest of 'em instead of stayin' home
+with you, Sophrony.  I KNEW I was doin' wrong, but I didn't
+realize--"
+
+"Course you didn't, Hiram.  I'm glad you got a few minutes' rest,
+after bein' up with him half the night.  I do wish the doctor was
+home, though.  When will he be back?"
+
+"Not until late to-morrer, if then.  Did you keep on givin' the
+medicine?"
+
+"Yes, but it don't seem to do much good.  You go and set with him
+now, Hiram.  I must be seein' about supper."
+
+So into the sick room went Captain Hiram to sit beside the crib and
+sing "Sailor boy, sailor boy, 'neath the wild billow," as a
+lugubrious lullaby.
+
+Little Hiram Joash tossed and tumbled.  He was in a fitful slumber
+when Mrs. Baker called her husband to supper.  The meal was
+anything but a cheerful one.  They talked but little.  Over the
+home, ordinarily so cheerful, had settled a gloom that weighed upon
+them.
+
+"My! my!" sighed Captain Hiram, "how lonesome it seems without him
+chatterin' and racketin' sound.  Seems darker'n usual, as if there
+was a shadow on the place."
+
+"Hush, Hiram! don't talk that way.  A shadow!  Oh, WHAT made you
+say that?  Sounds like a warnin', almost."
+
+"Warnin'?"
+
+"Yes, a forewarnin', you know.  'The valley of the shadow--'"
+
+"HUSH!"  Captain Baker's face paled under its sunburn.  "Don't say
+such things, Sophrony.  If that happened, the Lord help you and me.
+But it won't--it won't.  We're nervous, that's all.  We're always
+so careful of Dusenberry, as if he was made out of thin china, that
+we get fidgety when there's no need of it.  We mustn't be foolish."
+
+After supper Mrs. Baker tiptoed into the bedroom.  She emerged with
+a very white face.
+
+"Hiram," she whispered, "he acts dreadful queer.  Come in and see
+him."
+
+The "first mate" was tossing back and forth in the crib, making odd
+little choky noises in his swollen throat.  When his father entered
+he opened his eyes, stared unmeaningly, and said: "'Tand by to det
+der ship under way."
+
+"Good Lord! he's out of his head," gasped the Captain.  Sophronia
+and he stepped back into the sitting room and looked at each other,
+the same thought expressed in the face of each.  Neither spoke for
+a moment, then Captain Hiram said:
+
+"Now don't you worry, Sophrony.  The Doctor ain't home, but I'm
+goin' out to--to telegraph him, or somethin'.  Keep a stiff upper
+lip.  It'll be all right.  God couldn't go back on you and me that
+way.  He just couldn't.  I'll be back in a little while."
+
+"But, oh, Hiram! if he should--if he SHOULD be taken away, what
+WOULD we do?"
+
+She began to cry.  Her husband laid a trembling hand on her
+shoulder.
+
+"But he won't," he declared stoutly.  "I tell you God wouldn't do
+such a thing.  Good-by, old lady.  I'll hurry fast as I can."
+
+As he took up his cap and turned to the door he heard the voice of
+the weary little first mate chokily calling his crew to quarters.
+"All hands on deck!"
+
+The telegraph office was in Beriah Higgins's store.  Thither ran
+the Captain.  Pat Sharkey, Mr. Higgins's Irish helper, who acted as
+telegraph operator during Gertie Higgins's absence, gave Captain
+Hiram little satisfaction.
+
+"How can I get Dr. Parker?" asked Pat.  "He's off on a cruise and
+land knows where I can reach him to-night.  I'll do what I can,
+Cap, but it's ten chances out of nine against a wire gettin' to
+him."
+
+Captain Hiram left the store, dodging questioners who were anxious
+to know what his trouble might be, and dazedly crossed Main Street,
+to the railway station.  He thought of asking advice of his friend,
+the depot master.
+
+The evening train from Boston pulled out as he passed through the
+waiting room.  One or two passengers were standing on the platform.
+One of these was a short, square-shouldered man with gray side
+whiskers and eyeglasses.  The initials on his suit case were J. S.
+M., Boston, and they stood for John Spencer Morgan.  If the bearer
+of the suit case had followed the fashion of the native princes of
+India and had emblazoned his titles upon his baggage, the
+commonplace name just quoted might have been followed by "M.D.,
+LL.D., at Harvard and Oxford; vice president American Medical
+Society; corresponding secretary Associated Society of Surgeons;
+lecturer at Harvard Medical College; author of 'Diseases of the
+Throat and Lungs,' etc., etc."
+
+But Dr. Morgan was not given to advertising either his titles or
+himself, and he was hurrying across the platform to Redny Blount's
+depot wagon when Captain Hiram touched him on the arm.
+
+"Why, hello, Captain Baker," exclaimed the Doctor, "how do you do?"
+
+"Dr. Morgan," said the Captain, "I--I hope you'll excuse my
+presumin' on you this way, but I want to ask a favor of you, a
+great favor.  I want to ask if you'll come down to the house and
+see the boy; he's on the sick list."
+
+"What, Dusenberry?"
+
+"Yes, sir.  He's pretty bad, I'm 'fraid, and the old lady's
+considerable upsot about him.  If you just come down and kind of
+take an observation, so's we could sort of get our bearin's, as you
+might say, 'twould be a mighty help to all hands."
+
+"But where's your town physician?  Hasn't he been called?"
+
+The Captain explained.  He had inquired, and he had telegraphed,
+but could get no word of Dr. Parker's whereabouts.
+
+The great Boston specialist listened to Captain Hiram's story in an
+absent-minded way.  Holidays were few and far between with him, and
+when he accepted the long-standing invitation of Mr. Ogden Williams
+to run down for the week end he determined to forget the science of
+medicine and all that pertained to it for the four days of his
+outing.  But an exacting patient had detained him long enough to
+prevent his taking the train that morning, and now, on the moment
+of his belated arrival, he was asked to pay a professional call.
+He liked the Captain, who had taken him out fishing several times
+on his previous excursions to East Harniss, and he remembered
+Dusenberry as a happy little sea urchin, but he simply couldn't
+interrupt his pleasure trip to visit a sick baby.  Besides, the
+child was Dr. Parker's patient, and professional ethics forbade
+interference.
+
+"Captain Hiram," he said, "I am sorry to disappoint you, but it
+will be impossible for me to do what you ask.  Mr. Williams
+expected me this morning, and I am late already.  Dr. Parker will,
+no doubt, return soon.  The baby cannot be dangerously ill or he
+would not have left him."
+
+The Captain slowly turned away.
+
+"Thank you, Doctor," he said huskily.  "I knew I hadn't no right to
+ask."
+
+He walked across the platform, abstractedly striking his right hand
+into his left.  When he reached the ticket window he put one hand
+against the frame as if to steady himself, and stood there
+listlessly.
+
+The enterprising Mr. Blount had been hanging about the Doctor like
+a cat about the cream pitcher; now he rushed up, grasped the suit
+case, and officiously led the way toward the depot wagon.  Dr.
+Morgan followed more slowly.  As he passed the Captain he glanced
+up into the latter's face, lighted, as it was, by the lamp inside
+the window.
+
+The Doctor stopped and looked again.  Then he took another step
+forward, hesitated, turned on his heel, and said:
+
+"Wait a moment, Blount.  Captain Hiram, do you live far from here?"
+
+The Captain started.  "No, sir, only a little ways."
+
+"All right.  I'll go down and look at this boy of yours.  Mind you,
+I'll not take the case, simply give my opinion on it, that's all.
+Blount, take my grip to Mr. Williams's.  I'm going to walk down
+with the Captain."
+
+
+"Haul on ee bowline, ee bowline, haul!" muttered the first mate, as
+they came into the room.  The lamp that Sophronia was holding
+shook, and the Captain hurriedly brushed his eyes with the back of
+his hand.
+
+Dr. Morgan started perceptibly as he bent forward to look at the
+little fevered face of Dusenberry.  Graver and graver he became as
+he felt the pulse and peered into the swollen throat.  At length he
+rose and led the way back into the sitting room.
+
+"Captain Baker," he said simply, "I must ask you and your wife to
+be brave.  The child has diphtheria and--"
+
+"Diphthery!" gasped Sophronia, as white as her best tablecloth.
+
+"Good Lord above!" cried the Captain.
+
+"Diphtheria," repeated the Doctor; "and, although I dislike
+extremely to criticize a member of my own profession, I must say
+that any physician should have recognized it."
+
+Sophronia groaned and covered her face with her apron.
+
+"Ain't there--ain't there no chance, Doctor?" gasped the Captain.
+
+"Certainly, there's a chance.  If I could administer antitoxin by
+to-morrow noon the patient might recover.  What time does the
+morning train from Boston arrive here?"
+
+"Ha'f-past ten or thereabouts."
+
+Dr. Morgan took his notebook from his pocket and wrote a few lines
+in pencil on one of the pages.  Then he tore out the leaf and
+handed it to the Captain.
+
+"Send that telegram immediately to my assistant in Boston," he
+said.  "It directs him to send the antitoxin by the early train.
+If nothing interferes it should be here in time."
+
+Captain Hiram took the slip of paper and ran out at the door
+bareheaded.
+
+Dr. Morgan stood in the middle of the floor absent-mindedly looking
+at his watch.  Sophronia was gazing at him appealingly.  At length
+he put his watch in his pocket and said quietly:
+
+"Mrs. Baker, I must ask you to give me a room.  I will take the
+case."  Then he added mentally: "And that settles my vacation."
+
+
+Dr. Morgan's assistant was a young man whom nature had supplied
+with a prematurely bald head, a flourishing beard, and a way of
+appearing ten years older than he really was.  To these gifts,
+priceless to a young medical man, might be added boundless ambition
+and considerable common sense.
+
+The yellow envelope which contained the few lines meaning life or
+death to little Hiram Joash Baker was delivered at Dr. Morgan's
+Back Bay office at ten minutes past ten.  Dr. Payson--that was the
+assistant's name--was out, but Jackson, the colored butler, took
+the telegram into his employer's office, laid it on the desk among
+the papers, and returned to the hall to finish his nap in the
+armchair.  When Dr. Payson came in, at 11:30, the sleepy Jackson
+forgot to mention the dispatch.
+
+The next morning as Jackson was cleaning the professional boots in
+the kitchen and chatting with the cook, the thought of the yellow
+envelope came back to his brain.  He went up the stairs with such
+precipitation that the cook screamed, thinking he had a fit.
+
+"Doctah! Doctah!" he exclaimed, opening the door of the assistant's
+chamber, "did you git dat telegraft I lef' on your desk las'
+night?"
+
+"What telegraph?" asked the assistant sleepily.  By way of answer
+Jackson hurried out and returned with the yellow envelope.  The
+assistant opened it and read as follows:
+
+
+Send 1,500 units Diphtheritic Serum to me by morning train.  Don't
+fail.  Utmost importance.
+
+J. S. MORGAN.
+
+
+Dr. Payson sprang out of bed, and running to the table took up the
+Railway Guide, turned to the pages devoted to the O. C. and C. C.
+Railroad and ran his finger down the printed tables.  The morning
+train for Cape Cod left at 7:10.  It was 6:45 at that moment.  As
+has been said, the assistant had considerable common sense.  He
+proved this by wasting no time in telling the forgetful Jackson
+what he thought of him.  He sent the latter after a cab and
+proceeded to dress in double-quick time.  Ten minutes later he was
+on his way to the station with the little wooden case containing
+the precious antitoxin, wrapped and addressed, in his pocket.
+
+It was seven by the Arlington Street Church clock as the cab
+rattled down Boylston Street.  A tangle of a trolley car and a
+market wagon delayed it momentarily at Harrison Avenue and Essex
+Street.  Dr. Payson, leaning out as the carriage swung into Dewey
+Square, saw by the big clock on the Union Station that it was 7:13.
+He had lost the train.
+
+Now, the assistant had been assistant long enough to know that
+excuses--in the ordinary sense of the word--did not pass current
+with Dr. Morgan.  That gentleman had telegraphed for antitoxin, and
+said it was important that he should have it; therefore, antitoxin
+must be sent in spite of time-tables and forgetful butlers.  Dr.
+Payson went into the waiting room and sat down to think.  After a
+moment's deliberation he went over to the ticket office and asked:
+
+"What is the first stop of the Cape Cod express?"
+
+"Brockboro," answered the ticket seller.
+
+"Is the train usually on time?"
+
+"Well, I should smile.  That's Charlie Mills's train, and the old
+man ain't been conductor on this road twenty-two years for
+nothin'."
+
+"Mills?  Does he live on Shawmut Avenue?"
+
+"Dunno.  Billy, where does Charlie Mills live?"
+
+"Somewhere at the South End.  Shawmut Avenue, I think."
+
+"Thank you," said the assistant, and, helping himself to a time-
+table, he went back rejoicing to his seat in the waiting room.  He
+had stumbled upon an unexpected bit of luck.
+
+There might be another story written in connection with this one;
+the story of a veteran railroad man whose daughter had been very,
+very ill with a dreaded disease of the lungs, and who, when other
+physicians had given up hope, had been brought back to health by a
+celebrated specialist of our acquaintance.  But this story cannot
+be told just now; suffice it to say that Conductor Charlie Mills
+had vowed that he would put his neck beneath the wheels of his own
+express train, if by so doing he could confer a favor on Dr. John
+Spencer Morgan.
+
+The assistant saw by his time-table that the Cape Cod express
+reached Brockboro at 8:05.  He went over to the telegraph office
+and wrote two telegrams.  The first read like this:
+
+
+CALVIN S. WISE, The People's Drug Store, 28 Broad Street,
+Brockboro, Mass.:
+
+Send package 1,500 units Diphtheritic Serum marked with my name to
+station.  Hand to Conductor Mills, Cape Cod express.  Train will
+wait.  Matter life and death.
+
+
+The second telegram was to Conductor Mills.  It read:
+
+
+Hold train Brockboro to await arrival C. A. Wise.  Great personal
+favor.  Very important.
+
+
+Both of these dispatches were signed with the magic name, "J. S.
+Morgan, M.D."
+
+"Well," said the assistant as he rode back to his office, "I don't
+know whether Wise will get the stuff to the train in time, or
+whether Mills will wait for him, but at any rate I've done my part.
+I hope breakfast is ready, I'm hungry."
+
+Mr. Wise, of "The People's Drug Store," had exactly two minutes in
+which to cover the three-quarters of a mile to the station.  As a
+matter of course, he was late.  Inquiring for Conductor Mills, he
+was met by a red-faced man in uniform, who, watch in hand, demanded
+what in the vale of eternal torment he meant by keeping him waiting
+eight minutes.
+
+"Do you realize," demanded the red-faced man, "that I'm liable to
+lose my job?  I'll have you to understand that if any other man
+than Doc. Morgan asked me to hold up the Cape Cod express, I'd tell
+him to go right plumb to--"
+
+Here Mr. Wise interrupted to hand over the package and explain that
+it was a matter of life and death.  Conductor Mills only grunted as
+he swung aboard the train.
+
+"Hump her, Jim," he said to the engineer; "she's got to make up
+those eight minutes."
+
+And Jim did.
+
+
+And so it happened that on the morning of the Fourth of July,
+Dusenberry's birthday, Captain Hiram Baker and his wife sat
+together in the sitting room, with very happy faces.  The Captain
+had in his hands the "truly boat with sails," which the little
+first mate had so ardently wished for.
+
+She was a wonder, that boat.  Red hull, real lead on the keel,
+brass rings on the masts, reef points on the main and fore sail,
+jib, flying jib and topsails, all complete.  And on the stern was
+the name, "Dusenberry.  East Harniss."
+
+Captain Hiram set her down in front of him on the floor.
+
+"Gee!" he exclaimed, "won't his eyes stick out when he sees that
+rig, hey?  Wisht he would be well enough to see it to-day, same as
+we planned."
+
+"Well, Hiram," said Sophrony, "we hadn't ought to complain.  We'd
+ought to be thankful he's goin' to get well at all.  Dr. Morgan
+says, thanks to that blessed toxing stuff, he'll be up and around
+in a couple of weeks."
+
+"Sophrony," said her husband, "we'll have a special birthday
+celebration for him when he gets all well.  You can bake the
+frosted cake and we'll have some of the other children in.  I TOLD
+you God wouldn't be cruel enough to take him away."
+
+And this is how Fate and the medical profession and the O. C. and
+C. C. Railroad combined to give little Hiram Joash Baker his
+birthday, and explains why, as he strolled down Main Street that
+afternoon, Captain Hiram was heard to sing heartily:
+
+
+     Haul on the bowline, the 'Phrony is a-rollin',
+     Haul on the bowline, the bowline, HAUL!
+
+
+CHAPTER XIV
+
+EFFIE'S FATE
+
+
+Surely, but very, very slowly, the little Berry house moved on its
+rollers up the Hill Boulevard.  Right at its heels--if a house may
+be said to have heels--came the "pure Colonial," under the guidance
+of the foreman with "progressive methods."  Groups of idlers, male
+and female, stood about and commented.  Simeon Phinney smilingly
+replied to their questions.  Captain Sol himself seemed little
+interested.  He spent most of his daylight time at the depot, only
+going to the Higginses' house for his meals.  At night, after the
+station was closed, he sought his own dwelling, climbed over the
+joist and rollers, entered, retired to his room, and went to bed.
+
+Each day also he grew more taciturn.  Even with Simeon, his
+particular friend, he talked little.
+
+"What IS the matter with you, Sol?" asked Mr. Phinney.  "You're as
+glum as a tongue-tied parrot.  Ain't you satisfied with the way I'm
+doin' your movin'?  The white horse can go back again if you say
+so."
+
+"I'm satisfied," grunted the depot master.  "Let you know when I've
+got any fault to find.  How soon will you get abreast the--abreast
+the Seabury lot?"
+
+"Let's see," mused the building mover.  "Today's the eighth.  Well,
+I'll be there by the eleventh, SURE.  Can't drag it out no longer,
+Sol, even if the other horse is took sick.  'Twon't do.  Williams
+has been complainin' to the selectmen and they're beginnin' to
+pester me.  As for that Colt and Adams foreman--whew!"
+
+He whistled.  His companion smiled grimly.
+
+"Williams himself drops in to see me occasional," he said.  "Tells
+me what he thinks of me, with all the trimmin's added.  I cal'late
+he gets as good as he sends.  I'm always glad to see him; he keeps
+me cheered up, in his way."
+
+"Ye-es, I shouldn't wonder.  Was he in to-day?"
+
+"He was.  And somethin' has pleased him, I guess.  At any rate he
+was in better spirits.  Asked me if I was goin' to move right onto
+that Main Street lot soon as my house got there."
+
+"What did you say?"
+
+"I said I was cal'latin' to.  Told him I hated to get out of the
+high-society circles I'd been livin' in lately, but that everyone
+had their comedowns in this world."
+
+"Ho, ho! that was a good one.  What answer did he make to that?"
+
+"Well, he said the 'high society' would miss me.  Then he finished
+up with a piece of advice.  'Berry,' says he, 'don't move onto that
+lot TOO quick.  I wouldn't if I was you.'  Then he went away,
+chucklin'."
+
+"Chucklin', hey?  What made him so joyful?"
+
+"Don't know"--Captain Sol's face clouded once more--"and I care
+less," he added brusquely.
+
+Simeon pondered.  "Have you heard from Abner Payne, Sol?" he asked.
+"Has Ab answered that letter you wrote sayin' you'd swap your lot
+for the Main Street one?"
+
+"No, he hasn't.  I wrote him that day I told you to move me."
+
+"Hum! that's kind of funny.  You don't s'pose--"
+
+He stopped, noticing the expression on his friend's face.  The
+depot master was looking out through the open door of the waiting
+room.  On the opposite side of the road, just emerging from Mr.
+Higgins's "general store," was Olive Edwards, the widow whose home
+was to be pulled down as soon as the "Colonial" reached its
+destination.  She came out of the store and started up Main Street.
+Suddenly, and as if obeying an involuntary impulse, she turned her
+head.  Her eyes met those of Captain Sol Berry, the depot master.
+For a brief instant their glance met, then Mrs. Edwards hurried on.
+
+Sim Phinney sighed pityingly.  "Looks kind of tired and worried,
+don't she?" he ventured.  His friend did not speak.
+
+"I say," repeated Phinney, "that Olive looks sort of worn out and--"
+
+"Has she heard from the Omaha cousin yet?" interrupted the depot
+master.
+
+"No; Mr. Hilton says not.  Sol, what DO you s'pose--"
+
+But Captain Sol had risen and gone into the ticket office.  The
+door closed behind him.  Mr. Phinney shook his head and walked out
+of the building.  On his way back to the scene of the house moving
+he shook his head several times.
+
+On the afternoon of the ninth Captain Bailey Stitt and his friend
+Wingate came to say good-by.  Stitt was going back to Orham on the
+"up" train, due at 3:3O.  Barzilla would return to Wellmouth and
+the Old Home House on the evening (the "down") train.
+
+"Hey, Sol!" shouted Wingate, as they entered the waiting room.
+"Sol! where be you?"
+
+The depot master came out of the ticket office.  "Hello, boys!" he
+said shortly.
+
+"Hello, Sol!" hailed Stitt.  "Barzilla and me have come to shed the
+farewell tear.  As hirelin's of soulless corporations, meanin' the
+Old Home House at Wellmouth and the Ocean House at Orham, we've
+engaged all the shellfish along-shore and are goin' to clear out."
+
+"Yes," chimed in his fellow "hireling," "and we thought the
+pleasantest place to put in our few remainin' hours--as the papers
+say when a feller's goin' to be hung--was with you."
+
+"I thought so," said Captain Bailey, with a wink.  "We've been
+havin' more or less of an argument, Sol.  Remember how Barzilla
+made fun of Jonadab Wixon for believin' in dreams?  Yes, well that
+was only make believe.  He believes in 'em himself."
+
+"I don't either," declared Wingate.  "And I never said so.  What I
+said was that sometimes it almost seemed as if there was somethin'
+IN fortune tellin' and such."
+
+"There is," chuckled Bailey with another wink at the depot master.
+"There's money in it--for the fortune tellers."
+
+"I said--and I say again," protested Barzilla, "that I knew a case
+at our hotel of a servant girl named Effie, and she--"
+
+"Oh, Heavens to Betsy!  Here he goes again, I steered him in here
+on purpose, Sol, so's he'd get off that subject."
+
+"You never neither.  You said--"
+
+The depot master held up his hand.  "Don't both talk at once," he
+commanded.  "Set down and be peaceful, can't you.  That's right.
+What about this Effie, Barzilla?"
+
+"Now look here!" protested Stitt.
+
+"Shut up, Bailey!  Who was Effie, Barzilla?"
+
+"She was third assistant roustabout and table girl at the Old Home
+House," said Wingate triumphantly.  "Got another cigar, Sol?
+Thanks.  Yes, this Effie had never worked out afore and she was
+greener'n a mess of spinach; but she was kind of pretty to look at
+and--"
+
+"Ah, ha!" crowed Captain Bailey, "here comes the heart confessions.
+Want to look out for these old bachelors, Sol.  Fire away,
+Barzilla; let us know the worst."
+
+"I took a fancy to her, in a way.  She got in the habit of tellin'
+me her troubles and secrets, me bein' old enough to be her dad--"
+
+"Aw, yes!" this from Stitt, the irrepressible.  "That's an old gag.
+We know--"
+
+"WILL you shut up?" demanded Captain Sol.  "Go on, Barzilla."
+
+"Me bein' old enough to be her dad," with a glare at Captain
+Bailey, "and not bein' too proud to talk with hired help.  I never
+did have that high-toned notion.  'Twa'n't so long since I was a
+fo'mast hand.
+
+"So Effie told me a lot about herself.  Seems she'd been over to
+the Cattle Show at Ostable one year, and she was loaded to the
+gunwale with some more or less facts that a fortune-tellin'
+specimen by the name of the 'Marvelous Oriental Seer' had handed
+her in exchange for a quarter.
+
+"'Yup,' says she, bobbin' her head so emphatic that the sky-blue
+ribbon pennants on her black hair flapped like a loose tops'l in a
+gale of wind.  'Yup,' says she, 'I b'lieve it just as much as I
+b'lieve anything.  How could I help it when he told me so much that
+has come true already?  He said I'd seen trouble, and the dear land
+knows that's so! and that I might see more, and I cal'late that's
+pretty average likely.  And he said I hadn't been brought up in
+luxury--'
+
+"'Which wa'n't no exaggeration neither,' I put in, thinkin' of the
+shack over on the Neck Road where she and her folks used to live.
+
+"'No,' says she; 'and he told me I'd always had longin's for better
+and higher things and that my intellectuals was above my station.
+Well, ever sence I was knee high to a kitchen chair I'd ruther work
+upstairs than down, and as for intellectuals, ma always said I was
+the smartest young one she'd raised yet.  So them statements give
+me consider'ble confidence.  But he give out that I was to make a
+journey and get money, and when THAT come true I held up both hands
+and stood ready to swaller all the rest of it.'
+
+"'So it come true, did it?' says I.
+
+"'Um-hm,' says she, bouncin' her head again.  'Inside of four year
+I traveled 'way over to South Eastboro--'most twelve mile--to my
+Uncle Issy's fun'ral, and there I found that he'd left me nine
+hundred dollars for my very own.  And down I flops on the parlor
+sofy and says I: "There! don't talk superstition to ME no more!  A
+person that can foretell Uncle Issy's givin' anybody a cent, let
+alone nine hundred dollars, is a good enough prophet for ME to tie
+to.  Now I KNOW that I'm going to marry the dark-complected man,
+and I'll be ready for him when he comes along.  I never spent a
+quarter no better than when I handed it over to that Oriental Seer
+critter at the Cattle Show."  That's what I said then and I b'lieve
+it yet.  Wouldn't you feel the same way?'
+
+"I said sure thing I would.  I'd found out that the best way to
+keep Effie's talk shop runnin' was to agree with her.  And I liked
+to hear her talk.
+
+"'Yup,' she went on, 'I give right in then.  I'd traveled same as
+the fortune teller said, and I'd got more money'n I ever expected
+to see, let alone own.  And ever sence I've been sartin as I'm
+alive that the feller I marry will be of a rank higher'n mine and
+dark complected and good-lookin' and distinguished, and that he'll
+be name of Butler.'
+
+"'Butler?' says I.  'What will he be named Butler for?'
+
+"''Cause the Seer critter said so.  He said he could see the word
+Butler printed out over the top of my head in flamin' letters.  Pa
+used to say 'twas a wonder it never set fire to my crimps, but he
+was only foolin'.  I know that it's all comin' out true.  You ain't
+acquaintanced to any Butlers, are you?'
+
+"'No,' says I.  'I heard Ben Butler make a speech once when he was
+gov'nor, but he's dead now.  There ain't no Butlers on the Old Home
+shippin' lists.'
+
+"'Oh, I know that!' she says.  'And everybody round here is
+homelier'n a moultin' pullet.  There now!  I didn't mean exactly
+EVERYbody, of course.  But you ain't dark complected, you know,
+nor--'
+
+"'No,' says I, 'nor rank nor distinguished neither.  Course the
+handsome part might fit me, but I'd have to pass on the rest of the
+hand.  That's all right, Effie; my feelin's have got fire-proofed
+sence I've been in the summer hotel business.  Now you'd better run
+along and report to Susannah.  I hear her whoopin' for you, and she
+don't light like a canary bird on the party she's mad with.'
+
+"She didn't, that was a fact.  Susannah Debs, who was housekeeper
+for us that year, was middlin' young and middlin' good-lookin', and
+couldn't forget it.  Also and likewise, she had a suit for damages
+against the railroad, which she had hopes would fetch her money
+some day or other, and she couldn't forget that neither.  She was
+skipper of all the hired hands and, bein' as Effie was prettier
+than she was, never lost a chance to lay the poor girl out.  She
+put the other help up to pokin' fun at Effie's green ways and high-
+toned notions, and 'twas her that started 'em callin' her 'Lady
+Evelyn' in the fo'castle--servants' quarters, I mean.
+
+"'I'm a-comin', 'screams Effie, startin' for the door.  'Susannah's
+in a tearin' hurry to get through early to-day,' she adds to me.
+'She's got the afternoon off, and her beau's comin' to take her
+buggy ridin'.  He's from over Harniss way somewheres and they say
+he's just lovely.  My sakes! I wisht somebody'd take ME to ride.
+Ah hum! cal'late I'll have to wait for my Butler man.  Say, Mr.
+Wingate, you won't mention my fortune to a soul, will you?  I never
+told anybody but you.'
+
+"I promised to keep mum and she cleared out.  After dinner, as I
+was smokin', along with Cap'n Jonadab, on the side piazza, a horse
+and buggy drove in at the back gate.  A young chap with black curly
+hair was pilotin' the craft.  He was a stranger to me, wore a
+checkerboard suit and a bonfire necktie, and had his hat twisted
+over one ear.  Altogether he looked some like a sunflower goin' to
+seed.
+
+"'Who's that barber's sign when it's to home?' says I to Jonadab.
+He snorted contemptuous.
+
+"'That?' he says.  'Don't you know the cut of that critter's jib?
+He plays pool "for the house" in Web Saunders's place over to
+Orham.  He's the housekeeper's steady comp'ny--steady by spells, if
+all I hear's true.  Good-for-nothin' cub, I call him.  Wisht I'd
+had him aboard a vessel of mine; I'd 'a' squared his yards for him.
+Look how he cants his hat to starboard so's to show them lovelocks.
+Bah!'
+
+"'What's his name?' I asks.
+
+"'Name?  Name's Butler--Simeon Butler.  Don't you remember . . .
+Hey?  What in tunket. . .?'
+
+"Both of us had jumped as if somebody'd touched off a bombshell
+under our main hatches.  The windows of the dining room was right
+astern of us.  We whirled round, and there was Effie.  She'd been
+clearin' off one of the tables and there she stood, with the
+smashed pieces of an ice-cream platter in front of her, the melted
+cream sloppin' over her shoes, and her face lookin' like the
+picture of Lot's wife just turnin' to salt.  Only Effie looked as
+if she enjoyed the turnin'.  She never spoke nor moved, just stared
+after that buggy with her black eyes sparklin' like burnt holes in
+a blanket.
+
+"I was too astonished to say anything, but Jonadab had his eye on
+that smashed platter and HE had things to say, plenty of 'em.  I
+walked off and left Effie playin' congregation to a sermon on the
+text 'Crockery costs money.'  You'd think that ice-cream dish was a
+genuine ugly, nicked 'antique' wuth any city loon's ten dollars,
+instead of bein' only new and pretty fifty-cent china.  I felt real
+sorry for the poor girl.
+
+"But I needn't have been.  That evenin' I found her on the back
+steps, all Sunday duds and airs.  Her hair had a wire friz on it,
+and her dress had Joseph's coat in Scriptur' lookin' like a
+mournin' rig.  She'd have been real handsome--to a body that was
+color blind.
+
+"'My, Effie!' says I, 'you sartin do look fine to-night.'
+
+"'Yup,' she says, contented, 'I guess likely I do.  Hope so, 'cause
+I'm wearin' all I've got.  Say, Mr. Wingate,' says she, excited as
+a cat in a fit, 'did you see him?'
+
+"'Him?' says I.  'Who's him?'
+
+"'Why, HIM!  The one the Seer said was comin'.  The handsome, dark-
+complected feller I'm goin' to marry.  The Butler one.  That was
+him in the buggy this afternoon.'
+
+"I looked at her.  I'd forgot all about the fool prophecy.
+
+"'Good land of love!' I says.  'You don't cal'late he's comin' to
+marry YOU, do you, just 'cause his name's Butler?  There's ten
+thousand Butlers in the world.  Besides, your particular one was
+slated to be high ranked and distinguished, and this specimen
+scrubs up the billiard-room floor and ain't no more distinguished
+than a poorhouse pig.'
+
+"'Ain't?' she sings out.  'Ain't distinguished?  With all them
+beautiful curls, and rings on his fingers, and--'
+
+"'Bells on his toes?  No!' says I, emphatic.  'Anyhow, he's signed
+for the v'yage already.  He's Susannah Debs's steady, and they're
+off buggy ridin' together right now.  And if she catches you makin'
+eyes at her best feller--Whew!'
+
+"Didn't make no difference.  He was her Butler, sure.  'Twas Fate--
+that's what 'twas--Fate, just the same as in storybooks.  She was
+sorry for poor Susannah and she wouldn't do nothin' mean nor
+underhanded; but couldn't I understand that 'twas all planned out
+for her by Providence and that everlastin' Seer?  Just let me watch
+and see, that's all.
+
+"What can you do with an idiot like that?  I walked off disgusted
+and left her.  But I cal'lated to watch.  I judged 'twould be more
+fun than any 'play-actin' show ever I took in.
+
+"And 'twas, in a way.  Don't ask me how they got acquainted, 'cause
+I can't tell you for sartin.  Nigh's I can learn, Susannah and Sim
+had some sort of lover's row durin' their buggy ride, and when they
+got back to the hotel they was scurcely on speakin' terms.  And
+Sim, who always had a watch out for'ard for pretty girls, see Effie
+standin' on the servants' porch all togged up regardless and gay as
+a tea-store chromo, and nothin' to do but he must be introduced.
+One of the stable hands done the introducin', I b'lieve, and if
+he'd have been hung afterwards 'twould have sarved him right.
+
+"Anyhow, inside of a week Butler come round again to take a lady
+friend drivin', but this time 'twas Effie, not the housekeeper,
+that was passenger.  And Susannah glared after 'em like a cat after
+a sparrow, and the very next day she was for havin' Effie
+discharged for incompetentiveness.  I give Jonadab the tip, though,
+so that didn't go through.  But I cal'late there was a parrot and
+monkey time among the help from then on.
+
+"They all sided with Susannah, of course.  She was their boss, for
+one thing, and 'Lady Evelyn's' high-minded notions wa'n't popular,
+for another.  But Effie didn't care--bless you, no!  She and that
+Butler sport was together more and more, and the next thing I heard
+was that they was engaged.  I snum, if it didn't look as if the
+Oriental man knew his job after all.
+
+"I spoke to the stable hand about it.
+
+"'Look here,' says I, 'is this business betwixt that pool player
+and our Effie serious?'
+
+"He laughed.  'Serious enough, I guess,' he says.  'They're goin'
+to be married pretty soon, I hear.  It's all 'cordin' to the law
+and the prophets.  Ain't you heard about the fortune tellin' and
+how 'twas foretold she'd marry a Butler?'
+
+"I'd heard, but I didn't s'pose he had.  However, it seemed that
+Effie hadn't been able to keep it to herself no longer.  Soon as
+she'd hooked her man she'd blabbed the whole thing.  The fo'mast
+hands wa'n't talkin' of nothin' else, so this feller said.
+
+"'Humph!' says I.  'Is it the prophecy that Butler's bankin' on?'
+
+"He laughed again.  'Not so much as on Lady Evelyn's nine hundred,
+I cal'late,' says he.  Sim likes Susannah the best of the two, so
+we all reckon, but she ain't rich and Effie is.  And yet, if the
+Debs woman should win that lawsuit of hers against the railroad
+she'd have pretty nigh twice as much.  Butler's a fool not to wait,
+I think,' he says.
+
+"This was of a Monday.  On Friday evenin' Effie comes around to see
+me.  I was alone in the office.
+
+"'Mr. Wingate,' she says, 'I'm goin' to leave to-morrer night.  I'm
+goin' to be married on Sunday.'
+
+"I'd been expecting it, but I couldn't help feelin' sorry for her.
+
+"'Don't do nothin' rash, Effie,' I told her.  'Are you sure that
+Butler critter cares anything about you and not your money?'
+
+"She flared up like a tar barrel.  'The idea!' she says, turnin'
+red.  'I just come in to give you warnin'.  Good-by.'
+
+"'Hold on,' I sung out to her.  'Effie, I've thought consider'ble
+about you lately.  I've been tryin' to help you a little on the
+sly.  I realized that 'twa'n't pleasant for you workin' here under
+Susannah Debs, and I've been tryin' to find a nice place for you.
+I wrote about you to Bob Van Wedderburn; he's the rich banker chap
+who stopped here one summer.  "Jonesy," we used to call him.  I
+know him and his wife fust rate, and he'd do 'most anything as a
+favor to me.  I told him what a neat, handy girl you was, and he
+writes that he'll give you the job of second girl at his swell New
+York house, if you want it.  Now you just hand that Sim Butler his
+clearance papers and go work for Bob's wife.  The wages are double
+what you get here, and--'
+
+"She didn't wait to hear the rest.  Just sailed out of the room
+with her nose in the air.  In a minute, though, back she come and
+just put her head in the door.
+
+"'I'm much obliged to you, Mr. Wingate,' says she.  'I know you
+mean well.  But you ain't had your fate foretold, same's I have.
+It's all been arranged for me, and I couldn't stop it no more'n
+Jonah could help swallerin' the whale.  I--I kind of wish you'd be
+on hand at the back door on Sunday mornin' when Simeon comes to
+take me away.  You--you're about the only real friend I've got,'
+she says.
+
+"And off she went, for good this time.  I pitied her, in spite of
+her bein' such a dough head.  I knew what sort of a husband that
+pool-room shark would make.  However, there wa'n't nothin' to be
+done.  And next day Cap'n Jonadab was round, madder'n a licked pup.
+Seems Susannah's lawyer at Orham had sent for her to come right off
+and see him.  Somethin' about the suit, it was.  And she was goin'
+in spite of everything.  And with Effie's leavin' at the same time,
+what was we goin' to do over Sunday? and so forth and so on.
+
+"Well, we had to do the best we could, that's all.  But that
+Saturday was busy, now I tell you.  Sunday mornin' broke fine and
+clear and, after breakfast was over, I remembered Effie and that
+'twas her weddin' day.  On the back steps I found her, dressed in
+all her grandeur, with her packed trunk ready, waitin' for the
+bridegroom.
+
+"'Ain't come yet, hey, Effie?' says I.
+
+"'No,' says she, smilin' and radiant.  'It's a little early for him
+yet, I guess.'
+
+"I went off to 'tend to the boarders.  At half past ten, when I
+made the back steps again, she was still there.  T'other servants
+was peekin' out of the kitchen windows, grinnin' and passin'
+remarks.
+
+"'Hello!' I calls out.  'Not married yet?  What's the matter?'
+
+"She'd stopped smilin', but she was as chipper as ever, to all
+appearances.
+
+"'I--I guess the horse has gone lame or somethin',' says she.
+'He'll be here any time now.'
+
+"There was a cackle from the kitchen windows.  I never said
+nothin'.  She'd made her nest; now let her roost on it.
+
+"But at twelve Butler hadn't hove in sight.  Every hand, male and
+female, on the place, that wa'n't busy, was hangin' around the back
+of the hotel, waitin' and watchin' and ridiculin' and havin' a high
+time.  Them that had errands made it a p'int to cruise past that
+way.  Lots of the boarders had got wind of the doin's, and they was
+there, too.
+
+"Effie was settin' on her trunk, tryin' hard to look brave.  I went
+up and spoke to her.
+
+"'Come, my girl,' says I.  'Don't set here no longer.  Come into
+the house and wait.  Hadn't you better?'
+
+"'No!' says she, loud and defiant like.  'No, sir!  It's all right.
+He's a little late, that's all.  What do you s'pose I care for a
+lot of jealous folks like those up there?' wavin' her flipper
+scornful toward the kitchen.
+
+"And then, all to once, she kind of broke down, and says to me,
+with a pitiful sort of choke in her voice:
+
+"'Oh, Mr. Wingate!  I can't stand this.  Why DON'T he come?'
+
+"I tried hard to think of somethin' comfortin' to say, but afore I
+could h'ist a satisfyin' word out of my hatches I heard the noise
+of a carriage comin'.  Effie heard it, too, and so did everybody
+else.  We all looked toward the gate.  'Twas Sim Butler, sure
+enough, in his buggy and drivin' the same old horse; but settin'
+alongside of him on the seat was Susannah Debs, the housekeeper.
+And maybe she didn't look contented with things in gen'ral!
+
+"Butler pulled up his horse by the gate.  Him and Susannah bowed to
+all hands.  Nobody said anything for a minute.  Then Effie bounced
+off the trunk and down them steps.
+
+"'Simmie ' she sung out, breathless like, 'Simeon Butler, what does
+this mean?'
+
+"The Debs woman straightened up on the seat.  'Thank you, marm,'
+says she, chilly as the top section of an ice chest, 'I'll request
+you not to call my husband by his first name.'
+
+"It was so still you could have heard yourself grow.  Effie turned
+white as a Sunday tablecloth.
+
+"'Your--husband?' she gasps.  'Your--your HUSBAND?'
+
+"'Yes, marm,' purrs the housekeeper.  'My husband was what I said.
+Mr. Butler and me have just been married.'
+
+"'Sorry, Effie, old girl,' puts in Butler, so sassy I'd love to
+have preached his fun'ral sermon.  'Too bad, but fust love's
+strongest, you know.  Susie and me was engaged long afore you come
+to town.'
+
+"THEN such a haw-haw and whoop bust from the kitchen and fo'castle
+as you never heard.  For a jiffy poor Effie wilted right down.
+Then she braced up and her black eyes snapped.
+
+"'I wish you joy of your bargain, marm,' says she to Susannah.
+'You'd ought to be proud of it.  And as for YOU,' she says,
+swingin' round toward the rest of the help, 'I--'
+
+"'How 'bout that prophet?' hollers somebody.
+
+"'Three cheers for the Oriental!' bellers somebody else.
+
+"'When you marry the right Butler fetch him along and let us see
+him!' whoops another.
+
+"She faced 'em all, and I gloried in her spunk.
+
+"'When I marry him I WILL come back,' says she.  'And when I do
+you'll have to get down on your knees and wait on me.  You--and
+you--  Yes, and YOU, too!'
+
+"The last two 'yous' was hove at Sim and Susannah.  Then she turned
+and marched into the hotel.  And the way them hired hands carried
+on was somethin' scandalous--till I stepped in and took charge of
+the deck.
+
+"That very afternoon I put Effie and her trunk aboard the train.  I
+paid her fare to New York and give her directions how to locate the
+Van Wedderburns.
+
+"'So long, Effie,' says I to her.  'It's all right.  You're enough
+sight better off.  All you want to do now is to work hard and
+forget all that fortune-tellin' foolishness.'
+
+"She whirled on me like a top.
+
+"'Forget it!' she says.  'I GUESS I shan't forget it!  It's comin'
+true, I tell you--same as all the rest come true.  You said
+yourself there was ten thousand Butlers in the world.  Some day the
+right one--the handsome, high-ranked, distinguished one--will come
+along, and I'll get him.  You wait and see, Mr. Wingate--just you
+wait and see.'"
+
+
+CHAPTER XV
+
+THE "HERO" AND THE COWBOY
+
+
+"So that was the end of it, hey?" said Captain Bailey.  "Well, it's
+what you might expect, but it wa'n't much to be so anxious to tell;
+and as for PROVIN' anything about fortune tellin'--why--"
+
+"It AIN'T the end," shouted the exasperated Barzilla.  "Not nigh
+the end.  'Twas the beginnin'.  The housekeeper left us that day,
+of course, and for the rest of that summer the servant question
+kept me and Jonadab from thinkin' of other things.  Course, the
+reason for the Butler scamp's sudden switch was plain enough.
+Susannah's lawyer had settled the case with the railroad and, even
+after his fee was subtracted, there was fifteen hundred left.  That
+was enough sight better'n nine hundred, so Sim figgered when he
+heard of it; and he hustled to make up with his old girl.
+
+"Fifteen hundred dollars doesn't last long with some folks.  At the
+beginnin' of the next spring season both of 'em was round huntin'
+jobs.  Susannah was a fust-rate waitress, so we hired her for that--
+no more housekeeper for hers, and served her right.  As for her
+husband, we took him on in the stable.  He wouldn't have been wuth
+his salt if it hadn't been for her.  She said she'd keep him movin'
+and she did.  She nagged and henpecked him till I'd have been sorry
+if 'twas anybody else; as 'twas, I got consider'ble satisfaction
+out of it.
+
+"I got one letter from Effie pretty soon after she left, sayin' she
+liked her new job and that the Van Wedderburns liked her.  And
+that's all I did hear, though Bob himself wrote me in May, sayin'
+him and Mabel, his wife, had bought a summer cottage in Wapatomac,
+and me and Jonadab--especially me--must be sure and come to see it
+and them.  He never mentioned his second girl, and I almost forgot
+her myself.
+
+"But one afternoon in early July a big six-cylinder automobile come
+sailin' down the road and into the Old Home House yard.  A shofer--
+I b'lieve that's what they call the tribe--was at the helm of it,
+and on the back seat, lollin' luxurious against the upholstery, was
+a man and a woman, got up regardless in silk dusters and goggles
+and veils and prosperity.  I never expect to see the Prince of
+Wales and his wife, but I know how they'd look--after seein' them
+two.
+
+"Jonadab was at the bottom step to welcome 'em, bowin' and scrapin'
+as if his middle j'int had just been iled.  I wa'n't fur astern,
+and every boarder on deck was all eyes and envy.
+
+"The shofer opens the door of the after cockpit of the machine, and
+the man gets out fust, treadin' gingerly but grand, as if he was
+doin' the ground a condescension by steppin' on it.  Then he turns
+to the woman and she slides out, her duds rustlin' like the wind in
+a scrub oak.  The pair sails up the steps, Jonadab and me backin'
+and fillin' in front of 'em.  All the help that could get to a
+window to peek had knocked off work to do it.
+
+"'Ahem!' says the man, pompous as Julius Caesar--he was big and
+straight and fine lookin' and had black side whiskers half mast on
+his cheeks--ahem!' says he.  'I say, good people, may we have
+dinner here?'
+
+"Well, they tell us time and tide waits for no man, but prob'ly
+that don't include the nobility.  Anyhow, although 'twas long past
+our reg'lar dinner time, I heard Jonadab tellin' 'em sure and
+sartin they could.  If they wouldn't mind settin' on the piazza or
+in the front parlor for a spell, he'd have somethin' prepared in a
+jiffy.  So up to the piazza they paraded and come to anchor in a
+couple of chairs.
+
+"'You can have your automobile put right into the barn,' I says,
+'if you want to.'
+
+"'I don't know as it will be necessary--' began the big feller, but
+the woman interrupted him.  She was starin' through her thick veil
+at the barn door.  Sim Butler, in his overalls and ragged shirt
+sleeves, was leanin' against that door, interested as the rest of
+us in what was goin' on.
+
+"'I would have it put there, I think,' says the woman, lofty and
+superior.  'It is rather dusty, and I think the wheels ought to be
+washed.  Can that man be trusted to wash 'em?' she asks, pointin'
+kind of scornful at Simeon.
+
+"'Yes, marm, I cal'late so,' I says.  'Here, Sim!' I sung out,
+callin' Butler over to the steps.  'Can you wash the dust off them
+wheels?'
+
+"He said course he could, but he didn't act joyful over the job.
+The woman seemed some doubtful.
+
+"'He looks like a very ignorant, common person,' says she, loud and
+clear, so that everybody, includin' the 'ignorant person' himself,
+could hear her.  'However, James'll superintend.  James,' she
+orders the shofer, 'you see that it is well done, won't you?  Make
+him be very careful.'
+
+"James looked Butler over from head to foot.  'Humph!' he sniffs,
+contemptuous, with a kind of half grin on his face.  'Yes, marm,
+I'll 'tend to it.'
+
+"So he steered the auto into the barn, and Simeon got busy.
+Judgin' by the sharp language that drifted out through the door,
+'twas plain that the shofer was superintendin' all right.
+
+"Jonadab heaves in sight, bowin', and makes proclamation that
+dinner is served.  The pair riz up majestic and headed for the
+dinin' room.  The woman was a little astern of her man, and in the
+hall she turns brisk to me.
+
+"'Mr. Wingate,' she whispers, 'Mr. Wingate.'
+
+"I stared at her.  Her voice had sounded sort of familiar ever
+sence I heard it, but the veil kept a body from seein' what she
+looked like.
+
+"'Hey?' I sings out.  'Have I ever--'
+
+"'S-s-h-h!' she whispers.  'Say, Mr. Wingate, that--that Susannah
+thing is here, ain't she?  Have her wait on us, will you, please?'
+
+"And she swept the veil off her face.  I choked up and staggered
+bang! against the wall.  I swan to man if it wa'n't Effie!  EFFIE,
+in silks and automobiles and gorgeousness!
+
+"Afore I could come to myself the two of 'em marched into that
+dining room.  I heard a grunt and a 'Land of love!' from just ahead
+of me.  That was Jonadab.  And from all around that dinin' room
+come a sort of gasp and then the sound of whisperin'.  That was the
+help.
+
+"They took a table by the window, which had been made ready.  Down
+they set like a king and a queen perchin' on thrones.  One of the
+waiter girls went over to em.
+
+"But I'd come out of my trance a little mite.  The situation was
+miles ahead of my brain, goodness knows, but the joke of it all was
+gettin' a grip on me.  I remembered what Effie had asked and I
+spoke up prompt.
+
+"'Susannah,' says I, 'this is a particular job and we're anxious to
+please.  You'd better do the waitin' yourself.'
+
+"I wish you could have seen the glare that ex-housekeeper give me.
+For a second I thought we'd have open mutiny.  But her place wa'n't
+any too sartin and she didn't dare risk it.  Over she walked to
+that table, and the fun began.
+
+"Jonadab had laid himself out to make that meal a success, but they
+ate it as if 'twas pretty poor stuff and not by no means what they
+fed on every day.  They found fault with 'most everything, but most
+especial with Susannah's waitin'.  My! how they did order her
+around--a mate on a cattle boat wa'n't nothin' to it.  And when
+'twas all over and they got up to go, Effie says, so's all hands
+can hear:
+
+"'The food here is not so bad, but the service--oh, horrors!
+However, Albert,' says she to the side-whiskered man, 'you had
+better give the girl our usual tip.  She looks as if she needed it,
+poor thing!'
+
+"Then they paraded out of the room, and I see Susannah sling the
+half dollar the man had left on the table clear to Jericho, it
+seemed like.
+
+"The auto was waitin' by the piazza steps.  The shofer and Butler
+was standin' by it.  And when Sim see Effie with her veil throwed
+back he pretty nigh fell under the wheels he'd been washin' so
+hard.  And he looked as if he wisht they'd run over him.
+
+"'Oh, dear!' sighs Effie, lookin' scornful at the wheels.  'Not
+half clean, just as I expected.  I knew by the looks of that--that
+PERSON that he wouldn't do it well.  Don't give him much, Albert;
+he ain't earned it.'
+
+"They climbed into the cockpit, the shofer took the helm, and they
+was ready to start.  But I couldn't let 'em go that way.  Out I
+run.
+
+"'Say--say, Effie!' I whispers, eager.  'For the goodness' sakes,
+what's all this mean?  Is that your--your--'
+
+"'My husband?  Yup,' she whispers back, her eyes shinin'.  'Didn't
+I tell you to look out for my prophecy?  Ain't he handsome and
+distinguished, just as I said?  Good-by, Mr. Wingate; maybe I'll
+see you again some day.'
+
+"The machinery barked and they got under way.  I run along for two
+steps more.
+
+"'But, Effie,' says I, 'tell me--is his name--?'
+
+"She didn't answer.  She was watchin' Sim Butler and his wife.  Sim
+had stooped to pick up the quarter the Prince of Wales had hove at
+him.  And that was too much for Susannah, who was watchin' from the
+window.
+
+"'Don't you touch that money!' she screams.  'Don't you lay a
+finger on it!  Ain't you got any self-respect at all, you
+miser'ble, low-lived--' and so forth and so on.  All the way to the
+front gate I see Effie leanin' out, lookin' and listenin' and
+smilin'.
+
+"Then the machine buzzed off in a typhoon of dust and I went back
+to Jonadab, who was a livin' catechism of questions which neither
+one of us could answer."
+
+"So THAT'S the end!" exclaimed Captain Bailey.  "Well--"
+
+"No, it ain't the end--not even yet.  Maybe it ought to be, but it
+ain't.  There's a little more of it.
+
+"A fortni't later I took a couple of days off and went up to
+Wapatomac to visit the Van Wedderburns, same as I'd promised.
+Their 'cottage' was pretty nigh big enough for a hotel, and was so
+grand that I, even if I did have on my Sunday frills, was 'most
+ashamed to ring the doorbell.
+
+"But I did ring it, and the feller that opened the door was big and
+solemn and fine lookin' and had side whiskers.  Only this time he
+wore a tail coat with brass buttons on it.
+
+"How do you do, Mr. Wingate?' says he.  Step right in, sir, if you
+please.  Mr. and Mrs. Van Wedderburn are out in the auto, but
+they'll be back shortly, and very glad to see you, sir, I'm sure.
+Let me take your grip and hat.  Step right into the reception room
+and wait, if you please, sir.  Perhaps,' he says, and there was a
+twinkle in his port eye, though the rest of his face was sober as
+the front door of a church, 'perhaps,' says he, 'you might wish to
+speak with my wife a moment.  I'll take the liberty of sendin' her
+to you, sir.'
+
+"So, as I sat on the gunwale of a blue and gold chair, tryin' to
+settle whether I was really crazy or only just dreamin', in bounces
+Effie, rigged up in a servant's cap and apron.  She looked polite
+and demure, but I could see she was just bubblin' with the joy of
+the whole bus'ness.
+
+"'Effie,' says I, 'Effie, what--what in the world--?'
+
+"She giggled.  'Yup,' she says, 'I'm chambermaid here and they
+treat me fine.  Thank you very much for gettin' me the situation.'
+
+"'But--but them doin's the other day?  That automobile--and them
+silks and satins--and--?'
+
+"'Mr. Van Wedderburn lent 'em to me,' she said, 'him an' his wife.
+And he lent us the auto and the shofer, too.  I told him about my
+troubles at the Old Home House and he thought 'twould be a great
+joke for me to travel back there like a lady.  He's awful fond of a
+joke--Mr. Van Wedderburn is.'
+
+"'But that man?' I gasps.  'Your husband?  That's what you said he
+was.'
+
+"'Yes,' says she, 'he is.  We've been married 'most six months now.
+My prophecy's all come true.  And DIDN'T I rub it in on that
+Susannah Debs and her scamp of a Sim?  Ho! ho!'
+
+"She clapped her hands and pretty nigh danced a jig, she was so
+tickled.
+
+"'But is he a Butler?' I asks.
+
+"'Yup,' she nods, with another giggle.  'He's A butler, though his
+name's Jenkins; and a butler's high rank--higher than chambermaid,
+anyhow.  You see, Mr. Wingate,' she adds, ''twas all my fault.
+When that Oriental Seer man at the show said I was to marry a
+butler, I forgot to ask him whether you spelt it with a big B or a
+little one.'"
+
+The unexpected manner in which Effie's pet prophecy had been
+fulfilled amused Captain Sol immensely.  He laughed so heartily
+that Issy McKay looked in at the door with an expression of alarm
+on his face.  The depot master had laughed little during the past
+few days, and Issy was surprised.
+
+But Captain Stitt was ready with a denial.  He claimed that the
+prophecy was NOT fulfilled and therefore all fortune telling was
+fraudulent.  Barzilla retorted hotly, and the argument began again.
+The two were shouting at each other.  Captain Sol stood it for a
+while and then commanded silence.
+
+"Stop your yellin'!" he ordered.  "What ails you fellers?  Think
+you can prove it better by screechin'?  They can hear you half a
+mile.  There's Cornelius Rowe standin' gawpin' on the other side of
+the street this minute.  He thinks there's a fire or a riot, one or
+t'other.  Let's change the subject.  See here, Bailey, didn't you
+start to tell us somethin' last time you was in here about your
+ridin' in an automobile?"
+
+"I started to--yes.  But nobody'd listen.  I rode in one and I
+sailed in one.  You see--"
+
+"I'm goin' outdoor," declared Barzilla.
+
+"No, you're not.  Bailey listened to you.  Now you do as much for
+him.  I heard a little somethin' about the affair at the time it
+happened and I'd like to hear the rest of it.  How was it, Bailey?"
+
+Captain Stitt knocked the ashes from his pipe.
+
+"Well," he began, "I didn't know the critter was weak in his top
+riggin' or I wouldn't have gone with him in the fust place.  And he
+wa'n't real loony, nuther.  'Twas only when he got aboard that--
+that ungodly, kerosene-smellin', tootin', buzzin', Old Harry's
+gocart of his that the craziness begun to show.  There's so many of
+them weak-minded city folks from the Ocean House comes perusin'
+'round summers, nowadays, that I cal'lated he was just an average
+specimen, and never examined him close."
+
+"Are all the Ocean House boarders weak-minded nowadays?" asked the
+depot master.
+
+Mr. Wingate answered the question.
+
+"My land!" he snapped; "would they board at the Ocean House if they
+WA'N'T weak-minded?"
+
+Captain Bailey did not deign to reply to this jibe.  He continued
+calmly:
+
+"This feller wa'n't an Ocean Houser, though.  He was young
+Stumpton's automobile skipper-shover, or shofer, or somethin' they
+called him.  He answered to the hail of Billings, and his home port
+was the Stumpton ranch, 'way out in Montana.  He'd been here in
+Orham only a couple of weeks, havin' come plumb across the United
+States to fetch his boss the new automobile.  You see, 'twas early
+October.  The Stumptons had left their summer place on the Cliff
+Road, and was on their way South for the winter.  Young Stumpton
+was up to Boston, but he was comin' back in a couple of days, and
+then him and the shover was goin' automobilin' to Florida.  To
+Florida, mind you!  In that thing!  If it was me I'd buy my ticket
+to Tophet direct and save time and money.
+
+"Well, anyhow, this critter Billings, he ain't never smelt salt
+water afore, and he don't like the smell.  He makes proclamations
+that Orham is nothin' but sand, slush, and soft drinks.  He won't
+sail, he can't swim, he won't fish; but he's hankerin' to shoot
+somethin', havin' been brought up in a place where if you don't
+shoot some of the neighbors every day or so folks think you're
+stuck up and dissociable.  Then somebody tells him it's the duckin'
+season down to Setuckit P'int, and he says he'll spend his day off,
+while the boss is away, massycreein' the coots there.  This same
+somebody whispers that I know so much about ducks that I quack when
+I talk, and he comes cruisin' over in the buzz cart to hire me for
+guide.  And--would you b'lieve it?--it turns out that he's
+cal'latin' to make his duckin' v'yage in that very cart.  I was for
+makin' the trip in a boat, like a sensible man, but he wouldn't
+hear of it.
+
+"'Land of love!' says I.  'Go to Setuckit in a automobile?'
+
+"'Why not?' he says.  'The biscuit shooter up at the hotel tells me
+there's a smart chance of folks goes there a-horseback.  And where
+a hoss can travel I reckon the old gal here'--slappin' the thwart
+of the auto alongside of him--'can go, too!'
+
+"'But there's the Cut-through,' says I.
+
+"''Tain't nothin' but a creek when the freshet's over, they tell
+me,' says he.  'And me and the boss have forded four foot of river
+in this very machine.'
+
+"By the 'freshet' bein' over I judged he meant the tide bein' out.
+And the Cut-through ain't but a little trickle then, though it's a
+quarter mile wide and deep enough to float a schooner at high
+water.  It's the strip of channel that makes Setuckit Beach an
+island, you know.  The gov'ment has had engineers down dredgin' of
+it out, and pretty soon fish boats'll be able to save the twenty-
+mile sail around the P'int and into Orham Harbor at all hours.
+
+"Well, to make a long story short, I agreed to let him cart me to
+Setuckit P'int in that everlastin' gas carryall.  We was to start
+at four o'clock in the afternoon, 'cause the tide at the Cut-
+through would be dead low at half-past four.  We'd stay overnight
+at my shanty at the P'int, get up airly, shoot all day, and come
+back the next afternoon.
+
+"At four prompt he was on hand, ready for me.  I loaded in the guns
+and grub and one thing or 'nother, and then 'twas time for me to
+get aboard myself.
+
+"'You'll set in the tonneau,' says he, indicatin' the upholstered
+after cockpit of the concern.  I opened up the shiny hatch, under
+orders from him, and climbed in among the upholstery.  'Twas soft
+as a feather bed.
+
+"'Jerushy!' says I, lollin' back luxurious.  This is fine, ain't
+it?'
+
+"'Cost seventy-five hundred to build,' he says casual.  'Made to
+order for the boss.  Lightest car of her speed ever turned out.'
+
+"'Go 'way!  How you talk!  Seventy-five hundred what?  Not
+dollars?'
+
+"'Sure,' he says.  Then he turns round--he was in the bow, hangin'
+on to the steerin' wheel--and looks me over, kind of interested,
+but superior.  'Say,' he says, 'I've been hearin' things about you.
+You're a hero, ain't you?'
+
+"Durn them Orham gabblers!  Ever sence I hauled that crew of
+seasick summer boarders out of the drink a couple of years ago and
+the gov'ment gave me a medal, the minister and some more of his
+gang have painted out the name I was launched under and had me
+entered on the shippin' list as 'The Hero.'  I've licked two or
+three for callin' me that, but I can't lick a parson, and he was
+the one that told Billings.
+
+"'Oh, I don't know!' I answers pretty sharp.  'Get her under way,
+why don't you?'
+
+"All he done was look me over some more and grin.
+
+"'A hero!  A real live gov'ment-branded hero!' he says.  'Ain't
+scared of nothin', I reckon--hey?'
+
+"I never made no answer.  There's some things that's too fresh to
+eat without salt, and I didn't have a pickle tub handy.
+
+"'Hum!' he says again, reverend-like.  'A sure hero; scared of
+nothin'!  Never rode in an auto afore, did you?'
+
+"'No,' says I, peppery; 'and I don't see no present symptom of
+ridin' in one now.  Cast off, won't you?'
+
+"He cast off.  That is to say, he hauled a nickel-plated
+marlinespike thing toward him, shoved another one away from him,
+took a twist on the steerin' wheel, the gocart coughed like a horse
+with the heaves, started up some sort of buzz-planer underneath,
+and then we begun to move.
+
+"From the time we left my shanty at South Orham till we passed the
+pines at Herrin' Neck I laid back in that stuffed cockpit, feelin'
+as grand and tainted as old John D. himself.  The automobile rolled
+along smooth but swift, and it seemed to me I had never known what
+easy trav'lin' was afore.  As we rounded the bend by the pines and
+opened up the twelve-mile narrow white stretch of Setuckit Beach
+ahead of us, with the ocean on one side and the bay on t'other, I
+looked at my watch.  We'd come that fur in thirteen minutes.
+
+"'Land sakes!' I says.  'This is what I call movin' right along!'
+
+"He turned round and sized me up again, like he was surprised.
+
+"'Movin'?' says he.  'Movin'?  Why, pard, we've been settin' down
+to rest!  Out our way, if a lynchin' party didn't move faster than
+we've done so fur, the center of attraction would die on the road
+of old age.  Now, my heroic college chum,' he goes on, callin' me
+out of my name, as usual, 'will you be so condescendin' as to
+indicate how we hit the trail?'
+
+"'Hit--hit which?  Don't hit nothin', for goodness' sake!  Goin'
+the way we be, it would--'
+
+"'Which way do we go?'
+
+"'Right straight ahead.  Keep on the ocean side, 'cause there's
+more hard sand there, and--hold on!  Don't do that!  Stop it, I
+tell you!'
+
+"Them was the last rememberable words said by me durin' the next
+quarter of an hour.  That shover man let out a hair-raisin' yell,
+hauled the nickel marlinespike over in its rack, and squeezed a
+rubber bag that was spliced to the steerin' wheel.  There was a
+half dozen toots or howls or honks from under our bows somewheres,
+and then that automobile hopped off the ground and commenced to
+fly.  The fust hop landed me on my knees in the cockpit, and there
+I stayed.  'Twas the most fittin' position fur my frame of mind and
+chimed in fust-rate with the general religious drift of my
+thoughts.
+
+"The Cut-through is two mile or more from Herrin' Neck.  'Cordin'
+to my count we hit terra cotta just three times in them two miles.
+The fust hit knocked my hat off.  The second one chucked me up so
+high I looked back for the hat, and though we was a half mile away
+from it, it hadn't had time to git to the ground.  And all the
+while the horn was a-honkin', and Billings was a-screechin, and the
+sand was a-flyin'.  Sand!  Why, say!  Do you see that extra bald
+place on the back of my head?  Yes?  Well, there was a two-inch
+thatch of hair there afore that sand blast ground it off.
+
+"When I went up on the third jounce I noticed the Cut-through just
+ahead.  Billings see it, too, and--would you b'lieve it?--the
+lunatic stood up, let go of the wheel with one hand, takes off his
+hat and waves it, and we charge down across them wet tide flats
+like death on the woolly horse, in Scriptur'.
+
+"'Hi, yah!  Yip!' whoops Billings.  'Come on in, fellers!  The
+water's fine!  Yow!  Y-e-e-e!  Yip!'
+
+"For a second it left off rainin' sand, and there was a typhoon of
+mud and spray.  I see a million of the prettiest rainbows--that is,
+I cal'lated there was a million; it's awful hard to count when
+you're bouncin' and prayin' and drowndin' all to once.  Then we
+sizzed out of the channel, over the flats on t'other side, and on
+toward Setuckit.
+
+"Never mind the rest of the ride.  'Twas all a sort of constant
+changin' sameness.  I remember passin' a blurred life-savin'
+station, with three--or maybe thirty--blurred men jumpin' and
+laughin' and hollerin'.  I found out afterwards that they'd been on
+the lookout for the bombshell for half an hour.  Billings had told
+around town what he was goin' to do to me, and some kind friend had
+telephoned it to the station.  So the life-savers was full of
+anticipations.  I hope they were satisfied.  I hadn't rehearsed my
+part of the show none, but I feel what the parson calls a
+consciousness of havin' done my best.
+
+"'Whoa, gal!' says Billings, calm and easy, puttin' the helm hard
+down.  The auto was standin' still at last.  Part of me was hangin'
+over the lee rail.  I could see out of the part, so I knew 'twas my
+head.  And there alongside was my fish shanty at the P'int, goin'
+round and round in circles.
+
+"I undid the hatch of the cockpit and fell out on the sand.  Then I
+scrambled up and caught hold of the shanty as it went past me.
+That fool shover watched me, seemin'ly interested.
+
+"'Why, pard,' says he, 'what's the matter?  Do you feel pale?  Are
+you nervous?  It ain't possible that you're scared?  Honest, now,
+pard, if it weren't that I knew you were a genuine gold-mounted
+hero I'd sure think you was a scared man.'
+
+"I never said nothin'.  The scenery and me was just turnin' the
+mark buoy on our fourth lap.
+
+"'Dear me, pard!' continues Billings.  'I sure hope I ain't scared
+you none.  We come down a little slow this evenin', but to-morrow
+night, when I take you back home, I'll let the old girl out a
+little.'
+
+"I sensed some of that.  And as the shanty had about come to
+anchor, I answered and spoke my mind.
+
+"'When you take me back home!' I says.  'When you do!  Why, you
+crack-brained, murderin' lunatic, I wouldn't cruise in that hell
+wagon of yours again for the skipper's wages on a Cunarder.  No,
+nor the mate's hove in!'
+
+"And that shover he put his head back and laughed and laughed and
+laughed."
+
+
+CHAPTER XVI
+
+THE CRUISE OF THE RED CAR
+
+
+"I don't wonder he laughed," observed Wingate, who seemed to enjoy
+irritating his friend.  "You must have been good as a circus."
+
+"Humph!" grunted the depot master.  "If I remember right you said
+YOU wa'n't any ten-cent side show under similar circumstances,
+Barzilla.  Heave ahead, Bailey!"
+
+Captain Stitt, unruffled, resumed:
+
+"I tell you, I had to take it that evenin'," he said.  "All the
+time I was cookin' and while he was eatin' supper, Billings was
+rubbin' it into me about my bein' scared.  Called me all the
+saltwater-hero names he could think of--'Hobson' and 'Dewey' and
+the like of that, usin' em sarcastic, of course.  Finally, he said
+he remembered readin' in school, when he was little, about a girl
+hero, name of Grace Darlin'.  Said he cal'lated, if I didn't mind,
+he'd call me Grace, 'cause it was heroic and yet kind of fitted in
+with my partic'lar brand of bravery.  I didn't answer much; he had
+me down, and I knew it.  Likewise I judged he was more or less out
+of his head; no sane man would yell the way he done aboard that
+automobile.
+
+"Then he commenced to spin yarns about himself and his doin's, and
+pretty soon it come out that he'd been a cowboy afore young
+Stumpton give up ranchin' and took to automobilin'.  That cleared
+the sky line some, of course; I'd read consider'ble about cowboys
+in the ten-cent books my nephew fetched home when he was away to
+school.  I see right off that Billings was the livin' image of
+Deadwood Dick and Wild Bill and the rest in them books; they yelled
+and howled and hadn't no regard for life and property any more'n he
+had.  No, sir!  He wa'n't no crazier'n they was; it was in the
+breed, I judged.
+
+"'I sure wish I had you on the ranch, Grace,' says he.  'Why don't
+you come West some day?  That's where a hero like you would show up
+strong.'
+
+"'Godfrey mighty!' I sings out.  'I wouldn't come nigh such a nest
+of crazy murderers as that fur no money!  I'd sooner ride in that
+automobile of yours, and St. Peter himself couldn't coax me into
+THAT again, not if 'twas fur a cruise plumb up the middle of the
+golden street!'
+
+"I meant it, too, and the next afternoon when it come time to start
+for home he found out that I meant it.  We'd shot a lot of ducks,
+and Billings was havin' such a good time that I had to coax and
+tease him as if he was a young one afore he'd think of quittin'.
+It was quarter of six when he backed the gas cart out of the shed.
+I was uneasy, 'cause 'twas past low-water time, and there was fog
+comin' on.
+
+"'Brace up, Dewey!' says he.  'Get in.'
+
+"'No, Mr. Billings,' says I.  'I ain't goin' to get in.  You take
+that craft of yourn home, and I'll sail up alongside in my dory.'
+
+"'In your which?' says he.
+
+"'In my dory,' I says.  'That's her hauled up on the beach abreast
+the shanty.'
+
+"He looked at the dory and then at me.
+
+"'Go on!' says he.  'You ain't goin' to pack yourself twelve mile
+on THAT SHINGLE?'
+
+"'Sartin I am! says I.  'I ain't takin' no more chances.'
+
+"Do you know, he actually seemed to think I was crazy then.  Seemed
+to figger that the dory wa'n't big enough; and she's carried five
+easy afore now.  We had an argument that lasted twenty minutes
+more, and the fog driftin' in nigher all the time.  At last he got
+sick of arguin', ripped out somethin' brisk and personal, and got
+his tin shop to movin'.
+
+"'You want to cross over to the ocean side,' I called after him.
+'The Cut-through's been dredged at the bay end, remember.'
+
+"'Be hanged!' he yells, or more emphatic.  And off he whizzed.  I
+see him go, and fetched a long breath.  Thanks to a merciful
+Providence, I'd come so fur without bein' buttered on the
+undercrust of that automobile or scalped with its crazy shover's
+bowie knife.
+
+"Ten minutes later I was beatin' out into the bay in my dory.  All
+around was the fog, thin as poorhouse gruel so fur, but thickenin'
+every minute.  I was worried; not for myself, you understand, but
+for that cowboy shover.  I was afraid he wouldn't fetch t'other
+side of the Cut-through.  There wa'n't much wind, and I had to make
+long tacks.  I took the inshore channel, and kept listenin' all the
+time.  And at last, when 'twas pretty dark and I was cal'latin' to
+be about abreast of the bay end of the Cut-through, I heard from
+somewheres ashore a dismal honkin' kind of noise, same as a wild
+goose might make if 'twas chokin' to death and not resigned to the
+worst.
+
+"'My land!' says I.  'It's happened!'  And I come about and headed
+straight in for the beach.  I struck it just alongside the gov'ment
+shanty.  The engineers had knocked off work for the week, waitin'
+for supplies, but they hadn't took away their dunnage.
+
+"'Hi!' I yells, as I hauled up the dory.  'Hi-i-i!  Billings, where
+be you?'
+
+"The honkin' stopped and back comes the answer; there was joy in
+it.
+
+"'What?  Is that Cap'n Stitt?'
+
+"'Yes,' I sings out.  'Where be you?'
+
+"'I'm stuck out here in the middle of the crick.  And there's a
+flood on.  Help me, can't you?'
+
+"Next minute I was aboard the dory, rowin' her against the tide up
+the channel.  Pretty quick I got where I could see him through the
+fog and dark.  The auto was on the flat in the middle of the Cut-
+through, and the water was hub high already.  Billings was standin'
+up on the for'ard thwart, makin' wet footmarks all over them
+expensive cushions.
+
+"'Lord,' says he, 'I sure am glad to see you, pard!  Can we get to
+land, do you think?'
+
+"'Land?' says I, makin' the dory fast alongside and hoppin' out
+into the drink.  ''Course we can land!  What's the matter with your
+old derelict?  Sprung a leak, has it?'
+
+"He went on to explain that the automobile had broke down when he
+struck the flat, and he couldn't get no farther.  He'd been honkin'
+and howlin' for ten year at least, so he reckoned.
+
+"'Why in time,' says I, 'didn't you mind me and go up the ocean
+side?  And why in nation didn't you go ashore and--  But never mind
+that now.  Let me think.  Here!  You set where you be.'
+
+"As I shoved off in the dory again he turned loose a distress
+signal.
+
+"'Where you goin'?' he yells.  'Say, pard, you ain't goin' to leave
+me here, are you?'
+
+"'I'll be back in a shake,' says I, layin' to my oars.  'Don't
+holler so!  You'll have the life-savers down here, and then the
+joke'll be on us.  Hush, can't you?  I'll be right back!'
+
+"I rowed up channel a little ways, and then I sighted the place I
+was bound for.  Them gov'ment folks had another shanty farther up
+the Cut-through.  Moored out in front of it was a couple of big
+floats, for their stone sloops to tie up to at high water.  The
+floats were made of empty kerosene barrels and planks, and they'd
+have held up a house easy.  I run alongside the fust one, cut the
+anchor cable with my jackknife, and next minute I was navigatin'
+that float down channel, steerin' it with my oar and towin' the
+dory astern.
+
+"'Twas no slouch of a job, pilotin' that big float, but part by
+steerin' and part by polin' I managed to land her broadside on to
+the auto.  I made her fast with the cable ends and went back after
+the other float.  This one was a bigger job than the fust, but by
+and by that gas wagon, with planks under her and cable lashin's
+holdin' her firm, was restin' easy as a settin' hen between them
+two floats.  I unshipped my mast, fetched it aboard the nighest
+float, and spread the sail over the biggest part of the brasswork
+and upholstery.
+
+"'There,' says I, 'if it rains durin' the night she'll keep pretty
+dry.  Now I'll take the dory and row back to the shanty after some
+spare anchors there is there.'
+
+"'But what's it fur, pard?' asks Billings for the nine hundred and
+ninety-ninth time.  'Why don't we go where it's dry?  The flood's
+risin' all the time.'
+
+"'Let it rise,' I says.  'I cal'late when it gets high enough them
+floats'll rise with it and lift the automobile up, too.  If she's
+anchored bow and stern she'll hold, unless it comes on to blow a
+gale, and to-morrow mornin' at low tide maybe you can tinker her up
+so she'll go.'
+
+"'Go?' says he, like he was astonished.  'Do you mean to say you're
+reckonin' to save the CAR?'
+
+"'Good land!' I says, starin' at him.  'What else d'you s'pose?
+Think I'd let seventy-five hundred dollars' wuth of gilt-edged
+extravagance go to the bottom?  What did you cal'late I was tryin'
+to save--the clam flat?  Give me that dory rope; I'm goin' after
+them anchors.  Sufferin' snakes!  Where IS the dory?  What have you
+done with it?'
+
+"He'd been holdin' the bight of the dory rodin'.  I handed it to
+him so's he'd have somethin' to take up his mind.  And, by time,
+he'd forgot all about it and let it drop!  And the dory had gone
+adrift and was out of sight.
+
+"'Gosh!' says he, astonished-like.  'Pard, the son of a gun has
+slipped his halter!'
+
+"I was pretty mad--dories don't grow on every beach plum bush--but
+there wa'n't nothin' to say that fitted the case, so I didn't try.
+
+"'Humph!' says I.  'Well, I'll have to swim ashore, that's all, and
+go up to the station inlet after another boat.  You stand by the
+ship.  If she gets afloat afore I come back you honk and holler and
+I'll row after you.  I'll fetch the anchors and we'll moor her
+wherever she happens to be.  If she shouldn't float on an even
+keel, or goes to capsize, you jump overboard and swim ashore.
+I'll--'
+
+"'Swim?' says he, with a shake in his voice.  'Why, pard, I can't
+swim!'
+
+"I turned and looked at him.  Shover of a two-mile-a-minute gold-
+plated butcher cart like that, a cowboy murderer that et his
+friends for breakfast--and couldn't swim!  I fetched a kind of
+combination groan and sigh, turned back the sail, climbed aboard
+the automobile, and lit up my pipe.
+
+"'What are you settin' there for?' says he.  'What are you goin' to
+do?'
+
+"'Do?' says I.  'Wait, that's all--wait and smoke.  We won't have
+to wait long.'
+
+"My prophesyin' was good.  We didn't have to wait very long.  It
+was pitch dark, foggy as ever, and the tide a-risin' fast.  The
+floats got to be a-wash.  I shinned out onto 'em, picked up the oar
+that had been left there, and took my seat again.  Billings climbed
+in, too, only--and it kind of shows the change sence the previous
+evenin'--he was in the passenger cockpit astern, and I was for'ard
+in the pilot house.  For a reckless daredevil he was actin' mighty
+fidgety.
+
+"And at last one of the floats swung off the sand.  The automobile
+tipped scandalous.  It looked as if we was goin' on our beam ends.
+Billings let out an awful yell.  Then t'other float bobbed up and
+the whole shebang, car and all, drifted out and down the channel.
+
+"My lashin's held--I cal'lated they would.  Soon's I was sure of
+that I grabbed up the oar and shoved it over the stern between the
+floats.  I hoped I could round her to after we passed the mouth of
+the Cut-through, and make port on the inside beach.  But not in
+that tide.  Inside of five minutes I see 'twas no use; we was bound
+across the bay.
+
+"And now commenced a v'yage that beat any ever took sence Noah's
+time, I cal'late; and even Noah never went to sea in an automobile,
+though the one animal I had along was as much trouble as his whole
+menagerie.  Billings was howlin' blue murder.
+
+"'Stop that bellerin'!' I ordered.  'Quit it, d'you hear!  You'll
+have the station crew out after us, and they'll guy me till I can't
+rest.  Shut up!  If you don't, I'll--I'll swim ashore and leave
+you.'
+
+"I was takin' big chances, as I look at it now.  He might have
+drawed a bowie knife or a lasso on me; 'cordin' to his yarns he'd
+butchered folks for a good sight less'n that.  But he kept quiet
+this time, only gurglin' some when the ark tilted.  I had time to
+think of another idee.  You remember the dory sail, mast and all,
+was alongside that cart.  I clewed up the canvas well as I could
+and managed to lash the mast up straight over the auto's bows.
+Then I shook out the sail.
+
+"'Here!' says I, turnin' to Billings.  'You hang on to that sheet.
+No, you needn't nuther.  Make it fast to that cleat alongside.'
+
+"I couldn't see his face plain, but his voice had a funny tremble
+to it; reminded me of my own when I climbed out of that very cart
+after he'd jounced me down to Setuckit the day before.
+
+"'What?' he says.  'Wh-what?  What sheet?  I don't see any sheet.
+What do you want me to do?'
+
+"'Tie this line to that cleat.  That cleat there!  CLEAT, you
+lubber!  CLEAT!  That knob!  MAKE IT FAST!  Oh, my gosh t'mighty!
+Get out of my way!'
+
+"The critter had tied the sheet to the handle of the door instead
+of the one I meant, and the pull of the sail hauled the door open
+and pretty nigh ripped it off the hinges.  I had to climb into the
+cockpit and straighten out the mess.  I was losin' my temper; I do
+hate bunglin' seamanship aboard a craft of mine.
+
+"'But what'll become of us?' begs Billings.  'Will we drown?'
+
+"'What in tunket do we want to drown for?  Ain't we got a good
+sailin' breeze and the whole bay to stay on top of--fifty foot of
+water and more?'
+
+"'Fifty foot!' he yells.  'Is there fifty foot of water underneath
+us now?  Pard, you don't mean it!'
+
+"'Course I mean it.  Good thing, too!'
+
+"'But fifty foot!  It's enough to drown in ten times over!'
+
+"'Can't drown but once, can you?  And I'd just as soon drown in
+fifty foot as four--ruther, 'cause 'twouldn't take so long.'
+
+"He didn't answer out loud; but I heard him talkin' to himself
+pretty constant.
+
+"We was well out in the bay by now, and the seas was a little mite
+more rugged--nothin' to hurt, you understand, but the floats was
+all foam, and once in a while we'd ship a little spray.  And every
+time that happened Billings would jump and grab for somethin'
+solid--sometimes 'twas the upholstery and sometimes 'twas me.  He
+wa'n't on the thwart, but down in a heap on the cockpit floor.
+
+"'Let go of my leg!' I sings out, after we'd hit a high wave and
+that shover had made a more'n ordinary savage claw at my
+underpinnin'.  'You make me nervous.  Drat this everlastin' fog!
+somethin'll bump into us if we don't look out.  Here, you go
+for'ard and light them cruisin' lights.  They ain't colored
+'cordin' to regulations, but they'll have to do.  Go for'ard!  What
+you waitin' for?'
+
+"Well, it turned out that he didn't like to leave that cockpit.  I
+was mad.
+
+"'Go for'ard there and light them lights!' I yelled, hangin' to the
+steerin' oar and keepin' the ark runnin' afore the wind.
+
+"'I won't!' he says, loud and emphatic.  'Think I'm a blame fool?
+I sure would be a jack rabbit to climb over them seats the way
+they're buckin' and light them lamps.  You're talkin' through your
+hat!'
+
+"Well, I hadn't no business to do it, but, you see, I was on salt
+water, and skipper, as you might say, of the junk we was afloat in;
+and if there's one thing I never would stand it's mutiny.  I hauled
+in the oar, jumped over the cockpit rail, and went for him.  He see
+me comin', stood up, tried to get out of the way, and fell
+overboard backwards.  Part of him lit on one of the floats, but the
+biggest part trailed in the water between the two.  He clawed with
+his hands, but the planks was slippery, and he slid astern fast.
+Just as he reached the last plank and slid off and under I jumped
+after him and got him by the scruff of the neck.  I had hold of the
+lashin' end with one hand, and we tailed out behind the ark, which
+was sloppin' along, graceful as an elephant on skates.
+
+"I was pretty well beat out when I yanked him into that cockpit
+again.  Neither of us said anything for a spell, breath bein'
+scurce as di'monds.  But when he'd collected some of his, he spoke.
+
+"'Pard,' he says, puffin', 'I'm much obleeged to you.  I reckon I
+sure ain't treated you right.  If it hadn't been for you that time
+I'd--'
+
+"But I was b'ilin' over.  I whirled on him like a teetotum.
+
+"'Drat your hide!' I says.  'When you speak to your officer you say
+sir!  And now you go for'ard and light them lights.  Don't you
+answer back!  If you do I'll fix you so's you'll never ship aboard
+another vessel!  For'ard there!  Lively, you lubber, lively!'
+
+"He went for'ard, takin' consider'ble time and hangin' on for dear
+life.  But somehow or 'nuther he got the lights to goin'; and all
+the time I hazed him terrible.  I was mate on an Australian packet
+afore I went fishin' to the Banks, and I can haze some.  I
+blackguarded that shover awful.
+
+"'Ripperty-rip your everlastin' blankety-blanked dough head!' I
+roared at him.  'You ain't wuth the weight to sink you.  For'ard
+there and get that fog horn to goin'!  And keep it goin'!  Lively,
+you sculpin!  Don't you open your mouth to me!'
+
+"Well, all night we sloshed along, straight acrost the bay.  We
+must have been a curious sight to look at.  The floats was awash,
+so that the automobile looked like she was ridin' the waves all by
+her lonesome; the lamps was blazin' at either side of the bow;
+Billings was a-tootin' the rubber fog horn as if he was wound up;
+and I was standin' on the cushions amidships, keepin' the whole
+calabash afore the wind.
+
+"We never met another craft the whole night through.  Yes, we did
+meet one.  Old Ezra Cahoon, of Harniss, was out in his dory
+stealin' quahaugs from Seth Andrews's bed over nigh the Wapatomac
+shore.  Ezra stayed long enough to get one good glimpse of us as we
+bust through the fog; then he cut his rodin' and laid to his oars,
+bound for home and mother.  We could hear him screech for half an
+hour after he left us.
+
+"Ez told next day that the devil had come ridin' acrost the bay
+after him in a chariot of fire.  Said he could smell the brimstone
+and hear the trumpet callin' him to judgment.  Likewise he hove in
+a lot of particulars concernin' the personal appearance of the Old
+Boy himself, who, he said, was standin' up wavin' a red-hot
+pitchfork.  Some folks might have been flattered at bein' took for
+such a famous character; but I wa'n't; I'm retirin' by nature, and
+besides, Ez's description wa'n't cal'lated to bust a body's vanity
+b'iler.  I was prouder of the consequences, the same bein' that
+Ezra signed the Good Templars' pledge that afternoon, and kept it
+for three whole months, just sixty-nine days longer than any
+previous attack within the memory of man had lasted.
+
+"And finally, just as mornin' was breakin', the bows of the floats
+slid easy and slick up on a hard, sandy beach.  Then the sun riz
+and the fog lifted, and there we was within sight of the South
+Ostable meetin'-house.  We'd sailed eighteen miles in that ark and
+made a better landin' blindfold than we ever could have made on
+purpose.
+
+"I hauled down the sail, unshipped the mast, and jumped ashore to
+find a rock big enough to use for a makeshift anchor.  It wa'n't
+more'n three minutes after we fust struck afore my boots hit dry
+ground, but Billings beat me one hundred and seventy seconds, at
+that.  When I had time to look at that shover man he was a cable's
+length from high-tide mark, settin' down and grippin' a bunch of
+beach grass as if he was afeard the sand was goin' to slide from
+under him; and you never seen a yallerer, more upset critter in
+your born days.
+
+"Well, I got the ark anchored, after a fashion, and then we walked
+up to the South Ostable tavern.  Peleg Small, who runs the place,
+he knows me, so he let me have a room and I turned in for a nap.  I
+slept about three hours.  When I woke up I started out to hunt the
+automobile and Billings.  Both of 'em looked consider'ble better
+than they had when I see 'em last.  The shover had got a gang of
+men and they'd got the gas cart ashore, and Billings and a
+blacksmith was workin' over--or rather under--the clockwork.
+
+"'Hello!' I hails, comin' alongside.
+
+"Billings sticks his head out from under the tinware.
+
+"'Hi, pard!' says he.  I noticed he hadn't called me 'Grace' nor
+'Dewey' for a long spell.  Hi, pard,' he says, gettin' to his feet,
+'the old gal ain't hurt a hair.  She'll be good as ever in a couple
+of hours.  Then you and me can start for Orham.'
+
+"'In HER?' says I.
+
+"'Sure,' he says.
+
+"'Not by a jugful!' says I, emphatic.  'I'll borrer a boat to get
+to Orham in, when I'm ready to go.  You won't ketch me in that man
+killer again; and you can call me a coward all you want to!'
+
+"'A coward?' says he.  'You a coward?  And--  Why, you was in that
+car all night!'
+
+"'Oh!' I says.  'Last night was diff'rent.  The thing was on water
+then, and when I've got enough water underneath me I know I'm
+safe.'
+
+"'Safe!' he sings out.  'SAFE!  Well, by--gosh!  Pard, I hate to
+say it, but it's the Lord's truth--you had me doin' my "Now I lay
+me's"!'
+
+"For a minute we looked at each other.  Then says I, sort of
+thinkin' out loud, 'I cal'late,' I says, 'that whether a man's
+brave or not depends consider'ble on whether he's used to his
+latitude.  It's all accordin'.  It lays in the bringin' up, as the
+duck said when the hen tried to swim.'
+
+"He nodded solemn.  'Pard,' says he, 'I sure reckon you've called
+the turn.  Let's shake hands on it.'
+
+"So we shook; and . . ."
+
+Captain Bailey stopped short and sprang from his chair.  "There's
+my train comin'," he shouted.  "Good-by, Sol!  So long, Barzilla!
+Keep away from fortune tellers and pretty servant girls or YOU'LL
+be gettin' married pretty soon.  Good-by."
+
+He darted out of the waiting room and his companions followed.  Mr.
+Wingate, having a few final calls to make, left the station soon
+afterwards and did not return until evening.  And that evening he
+heard news which surprised him.
+
+As he and Captain Sol were exchanging a last handshake on the
+platform, Barzilla said:
+
+"Well, Sol, I've enjoyed loafin' around here and yarnin' with you,
+same as I always do.  I'll be over again in a month or so and we'll
+have some more."
+
+The Captain shook his head.  "I may not be here then, Barzilla," he
+observed.
+
+"May not be here?  What do you mean by that?"
+
+"I mean that I don't know exactly where I shall be.  I shan't be
+depot master, anyway."
+
+"Shan't be depot master?  YOU won't?  Why, what on airth--"
+
+"I sent in my resignation four days ago.  Nobody knows it, except
+you, not even Issy, but the new depot master for East Harniss will
+be here to take my place on the mornin' of the twelfth, that's two
+days off."
+
+"Why!  Why!  SOL!"
+
+"Yes.  Keep mum about it.  I'll--I'll let you know what I decide to
+do.  I ain't settled it myself yet.  Good-by, Barzilla."
+
+
+CHAPTER XVII
+
+ISSY'S REVENGE
+
+
+The following morning, at nine o'clock, Issy McKay sat upon the
+heap of rusty chain cable outside the blacksmith's shop at Denboro,
+reading, as usual, a love story.  Issy was taking a "day off."  He
+had begged permission of Captain Sol Berry, the permission had been
+granted, and Issy had come over to Denboro, the village eight miles
+above East Harniss, in his "power dory," or gasoline boat, the Lady
+May.  The Lady May was a relic of the time before Issy was
+assistant depot master, when he gained a precarious living by
+quahauging, separating the reluctant bivalve from its muddy house
+on the bay bottom with an iron rake, the handle of which was forty
+feet long.  Issy had been seized with a desire to try quahauging
+once more, hence his holiday.  The rake was broken and he had put
+in at Denboro to have it fixed.  While the blacksmith was busy,
+Issy laboriously spelled out the harrowing chapters of "Vivian, the
+Shop Girl; or Lord Lyndhurst's Lowly Love."
+
+A grinning, freckled face peered cautiously around the corner of
+the blacksmith's front fence.  Then an overripe potato whizzed
+through the air and burst against the shop wall a few inches from
+the reader's head.  Issy jumped.
+
+"You--you everlastin' young ones, you!" he shouted fiercely.  "If I
+git my hands onto you, you'll wish you'd--I see you hidin' behind
+that fence."
+
+Two barefooted little figures danced provokingly in the roadway and
+two shrill voices chanted in derision:
+
+
+     "Is McKay--Is McKay--
+      Makes the Injuns run away!
+
+
+Scalped anybody lately, Issy?
+
+Alas for the indiscretions of youth!  The tale of Issy's early
+expedition in search of scalps and glory was known from one end of
+Ostable County to the other.  It had made him famous, in a way.
+
+"If I git a-holt of you kids, I'll bet there'll be some scalpin'
+done," retorted the persecuted one, rising from the heap of cable.
+
+A second potato burst like a bombshell on the shingles behind him.
+McKay was a good general, in that he knew when it was wisest to
+retreat.  Shoving the paper novel into his overalls pocket, he
+entered the shop.
+
+"What's the matter, Is?" inquired the grinning blacksmith.  Most
+people grinned when they spoke to Issy.  "Gittin' too hot outside
+there, was it?  Why don't you tomahawk 'em and have 'em for
+supper?"
+
+"Humph!" grunted the offended quahauger.  "Don't git gay now, Jake
+Larkin.  You hurry up with that rake."
+
+"Oh, all right, Is.  Don't sculp ME; I ain't done nothin'.  What's
+the news over to East Harniss?"
+
+"Oh, I don't know.  Not much.  Sam Bartlett, he started for Boston
+this mornin'."
+
+"Who?  Sam Bartlett?  I want to know!  Thought he was down for six
+weeks.  You sure about that, Is?"
+
+"Course I'm sure.  I was up to the depot and see him buy his ticket
+and git on the cars."
+
+"Did, hey?  Humph!  So Sam's gone.  Gertie Higgins still over to
+her Aunt Hannah's at Trumet?"
+
+Issy looked at his questioner.  "Why, yes," he said suspiciously.
+"I s'pose she's there.  Fact, I know she is.  Pat Starkey's doin'
+the telegraphin' while she's away.  What made you ask that?"
+
+The blacksmith chuckled.  "Oh, nothin'," he said.  "How's her dad's
+dyspepsy?  Had any more of them sudden attacks of his?  I cal'late
+they'll take the old man off some of these days, won't they?  I
+hear the doctor thinks there's more heart than stomach in them
+attacks."
+
+But the skipper of the Lady May was not to be put off thus.  "What
+you drivin' at, Jake?" he demanded.  "What's Sam Bartlett's goin'
+away got to do with Gertie Higgins?"
+
+In his eagerness he stepped to Mr. Larkin's side.  The blacksmith
+caught sight of the novel in his customer's pocket.  He snatched it
+forth.
+
+"What you readin' now, Is?" he demanded.  "More blood and
+brimstone?  'Vivy Ann, the Shop Girl!'  Gee!  Wow!"
+
+"You gimme that book, Jake Larkin!  Gimme it now!"
+
+Fending the frantic quahauger off with one mighty arm, the
+blacksmith proceeded to read aloud:
+
+"'Darlin',' cried Lord Lyndhurst, strainin' the beautiful and
+blushin' maid to his manly bosom, 'you are mine at last.  Mine!
+No--'  Jerushy! a love story!  Why, Issy!  I didn't know you was in
+love.  Who's the lucky girl?  Send me an invite to your weddin',
+won't you?"
+
+Issy's face was a fiery red.  He tore the precious volume from its
+desecrator's hand, losing the pictured cover in the struggle.
+
+"You--you pesky fool!" he shouted.  "You mind your own business."
+
+The blacksmith roared in glee.  "Oh, ho!" he cried.  "Issy's in
+love and I never guessed it.  Aw, say, Is, don't be mean!  Who is
+she?  Have you strained her to your manly bosom yit?  What's her
+name?"
+
+"Shut up!" shrieked Issy, and strode out of the shop.  His
+tormentor begged him not to "go off mad," and shouted sarcastic
+sympathy after him.  But Mr. McKay heeded not.  He stalked angrily
+along the sidewalk.  Then espying just ahead of him the boys who
+had thrown the potatoes, he paused, turned, and walking down the
+carriageway at the side of the blacksmith's place of business, sat
+down upon a sawhorse under one of its rear windows.  He could, at
+least, be alone here and think; and he wanted to think.
+
+For Issy--although he didn't look it--was deeply interested in
+another love story as well as that in his pocket.  This one was
+printed upon his heart's pages, and in it he was the hero, while
+the heroine--the unsuspecting heroine--was Gertie Higgins, daughter
+of Beriah Higgins, once a fisherman, now the crotchety and
+dyspeptic proprietor of the "general store" and postmaster at East
+Harniss.
+
+This story began when Issy first acquired the Lady May.  The
+Higgins home stood on the slope close to the boat landing, and when
+Issy came in from quahauging, Gertie was likely to be in the back
+yard, hanging out the clothes or watering the flower garden.
+Sometimes she spoke to him of her own accord, concerning the
+weather or other important topics.  Once she even asked him if he
+were going to the Fourth of July ball at the town-hall.  It took
+him until the next morning--like other warriors, Issy was cursed
+with shyness--to summon courage enough to ask her to go to the ball
+with him.  Then he found it was too late; she was going with her
+cousin, Lennie Bloomer.  But he felt that she had offered him the
+opportunity, and was happy and hopeful accordingly.
+
+This, however, was before she went to Boston to study telegraphy.
+When she returned, with a picture hat and a Boston accent, it was
+to preside at the telegraph instrument in the little room adjoining
+the post office at her father's store.  When Issy bowed blushingly
+outside the window of the telegraph room, he received only the
+airiest of frigid nods.  Was there what Lord Lyndhurst would have
+called "another"?  It would seem not.  Old Mr. Higgins, her father,
+encouraged no bows nor attentions from young men, and Gertie
+herself did not appear to desire them.  So Issy gave up his tales
+of savage butchery for those of love and blisses, adored in
+silence, and hoped--always hoped.
+
+But why had the blacksmith seemed surprised at the departure of Sam
+Bartlett, the "dudey" vacationist from the city, whose father had,
+years ago, been Beriah Higgins's partner in the fish business?  And
+why had he coupled the Bartlett name with that of Gertie, who had
+been visiting her father's maiden sister at Trumet, the village
+next below East Harniss, as Denboro is the next above it?  Issy's
+suspicions were aroused, and he wondered.
+
+Suddenly he heard voices in the shop above him.  The window was
+open and he heard them plainly.
+
+"Well! WELL!"  It was the blacksmith who uttered the exclamation.
+"Why, Bartlett, how be you?  What you doin' over here?  Thought
+you'd gone back to Boston.  I heard you had."
+
+Slowly, cautiously, the astonished quahauger rose from the sawhorse
+and peered over the window sill.  There were two visitors in the
+shop.  One was Ed Burns, proprietor of the Denboro Hotel and livery
+stable.  The other was Sam Bartlett, the very same who had left
+East Harniss that morning, bound, ostensibly, for Boston.  Issy
+sank back again and listened.
+
+"Yes, yes!" he heard Sam say impatiently; "I know, but--see here,
+Jake, where can I hire a horse in this God-forsaken town?"
+
+"Well, well, Sam!" continued Larkin.  "I was just figurin' that
+Beriah had got the best of you after all, and you'd had to give it
+up for this time.  Thinks I, it's too bad!  Just because your dad
+and Beriah Higgins had such a deuce of a row when they bust up in
+the fish trade, it's a shame that he won't hark to your keepin'
+comp'ny with Gertie.  And you doin' so well; makin' twenty dollars
+a week up to the city--Ed told me that--and--"
+
+"Yes, yes!  But never mind that.  Where can I get a horse?  I've
+got to be in Trumet by eight to-night sure."
+
+"Trumet?  Why, that's where Gertie is, ain't it?"
+
+"Look a-here, Jake," broke in the livery-stable keeper.  "I'll tell
+you how 'tis.  Oh, it's all right, Sam!  Jake knows the most of it;
+I told him.  He can keep his mouth shut, and he don't like old
+crank Higgins any better'n you and me do.  Jake, Sam here and
+Gertie had fixed it up to run off and git married to-night.  He was
+to pretend to start for Boston this mornin'.  Bought a ticket and
+all, so's to throw Beriah off the scent.  He was to get off the
+train here at Denboro and I was to let him have a horse 'n' buggy.
+Then, this afternoon, he was goin' to drive through the wood roads
+around to Trumet and be at the Baptist Church there at eight to-
+night sharp.  Gertie's Aunt Hannah, she's had her orders, and bein'
+as big a crank as her brother, she don't let the girl out of her
+sight.  But there's a fair at the church and Auntie's tendin' a
+table.  Gertie, she steps out to the cloak room to git a
+handkerchief which she's forgot; see?  And she hops into Sam's
+buggy and away they go to the minister's.  After they're once
+hitched Old Dyspepsy can go to pot and see the kittle bile."
+
+"Bully!  By gum, that's fine!  Won't Beriah rip some, hey?"
+
+"Yes, but there's the dickens to pay.  I've only got two horses in
+the stable to-day.  The rest are let.  And the two I've got--one's
+old Bill, and he couldn't go twenty mile to save his hide.  And
+t'other's the gray mare, and blamed if she didn't git cast last
+night and use up her off hind leg so's she can't step.  And Sam's
+GOT to have a horse.  Where can I git one?"
+
+"Hum!  Have you tried Haynes's?"
+
+"Yes, yes!  And Lathrop's and Eldredge's.  Can't git a team for
+love nor money."
+
+"Sho!  And he can't go by train?"
+
+"What?  With Beriah postmaster at East Harniss and always nosin'
+through every train that stops there?  You can't fetch Trumet by
+train without stoppin' at East Harniss and--  What was that?"
+
+"I don't know.  What was it?"
+
+"Sounded like somethin' outside that back winder."
+
+The two ran to the window and looked out.  All they saw was an
+overturned sawhorse and two or three hens scratching vigorously.
+
+"Guess 'twas the chickens, most likely," observed the blacksmith.
+Then, striking his blackened palms together, he exclaimed:
+
+"By time!  I've thought of somethin'!  Is McKay is in town to-day.
+Come over in the Lady May.  She's a gasoline boat.  Is would take
+Sam to Trumet for two or three dollars, I'll bet.  And he's such a
+fool head that he wouldn't ask questions nor suspicion nothin'.
+'Twould be faster'n a horse and enough sight less risky."
+
+And just then the "fool head," his brain whirling under its carroty
+thatch, was hurrying blindly up the main street, bound somewhere,
+he wasn't certain where.
+
+A mushy apple exploded between his shoulders, but he did not even
+turn around.  So THIS was what the blacksmith meant!  This was why
+Mr. Higgins watched his daughter so closely.  This was why Gertie
+had been sent off to Trumet.  She had met the Bartlett miscreant in
+Boston; they had been together there; had fallen in love and--  He
+gritted his teeth and shook his fists almost in the face of old
+Deacon Pratt, who, knowing the McKay penchant for slaughter, had
+serious thoughts of sending for the constable.
+
+Beriah Higgins must be warned, of course, but how?  To telegraph
+was to put Pat Starkey in possession of the secret, and Pat was too
+good a friend of Gertie's to be trusted.  There was no telephone at
+the store.  Issy entered the combination grocery store and post
+office.
+
+"Has the down mail closed yet?" he panted.
+
+The postmaster looked out of his little window.
+
+"Yes," he replied.  "Why?  Got a letter you want to go?  Take it up
+to the depot.  The train's due, but 'tain't here yit.  If you run
+you can make it."
+
+Issy took a card from his pocket.  It was the business card of the
+firm to whom he sold his quahaugs.  On the back of the card he
+wrote in pencil as follows:
+
+"Mr. Beriah Higgins, your daughter Gertrude is going to meet Sam'l
+Bartlett at the Baptist Church in Trumet at 8 P.M. to-night and get
+married to him.  LOOK OUT!!!"
+
+After an instant's consideration he signed it "A True Friend," this
+being in emulation of certain heroes of the Deadwood Dick variety.
+Then he put the card into an envelope and ran at top speed to the
+railway station.  The train came in as he reached the platform.
+The baggage master was standing in the door of his car.
+
+"Here, mister!" panted Issy.  "Jest hand this letter to Beriah
+Higgins when he takes the mail bag at East Harniss, won't you?
+It's mighty important.  Don't forgit.  Thanks."
+
+The train moved off.  Issy stared after it, grinning malevolently.
+Higgins would get that note in ample time to send word to the
+watchful Aunt Hannah.  When the unsuspecting eloper reached the
+Trumet church, it would be the aunt, not the niece, who awaited
+him.  Still grinning, Mr. McKay walked off the platform, and into
+the arms of Ed Burns, the stable keeper, and Sam Bartlett, his
+loathed and favored rival.
+
+"Here he is!" shouted Burns.  "Now we've got him."
+
+The foiler of the plot turned pale.  Was his secret discovered?
+But no; his captors began talking eagerly, and gradually the sense
+of their pleadings became plain.  They wanted him--HIM, of all
+people--to convey Bartlett to Trumet in the Lady May.
+
+"You see, it's a business meetin'," urged Burns.  "Sam's got to be
+there by ha'f past seven or he'll--he won't win on the deal, will
+you, Sam?  Say yes, Issy; that's a good feller.  He'll give you--I
+don't know's he won't give you five dollars."
+
+"Ten," cried Bartlett.  "And I'll never forget it, either.  Will
+you, Is?"
+
+A mighty "No!" was trembling on Issy's tongue.  But before it was
+uttered Burns spoke again.
+
+"McKay's got the best boat in these parts," he urged.  "She's got a
+tiptop engine in her, and--"
+
+The word "engine" dropped into the whirlpool of Issy's thoughts
+with a familiar sound.  In the chapter of "Vivian" that he had just
+finished, the beautiful shopgirl was imprisoned on board the yacht
+of the millionaire kidnaper, while the hero, in his own yacht, was
+miles astern.  But the hero's faithful friend, disguised as a
+stoker, was tampering with the villain's engine.  A vague idea
+began to form in Issy's brain.  Once get the would-be eloper aboard
+the Lady May, and, even though the warning note should remain
+undelivered, he--
+
+Issy smiled, and the ghastliness of that smile was unnoticed by his
+companions.
+
+"I--I'll do it," he cried.  "By mighty!  I WILL do it.  You be at
+the wharf here at four o'clock.  I wouldn't do it for everybody,
+Sam Bartlett, but for you I'd do consider'ble, just now.  And I
+don't want your ten dollars nuther."
+
+
+Doctoring an engine may be easy enough--in stories.  But to doctor
+a gasoline engine so that it will run for a certain length of time
+and THEN break down is not so easy.  Three o'clock came and the
+problem was still unsolved.  Issy, the perspiration running down
+his face, stood up in the Lady May's cockpit and looked out across
+the bay, smooth and glassy in the afternoon sun.
+
+The sky overhead was clear and blue, but along the eastern and
+southern horizon was a gray bank of cloud, heaped in tumbled
+masses.
+
+A sunburned lobsterman in rubber boots and a sou'wester was smoking
+on the wharf.
+
+"What time you goin' to start for home, Is?" he asked.
+
+"Oh, in an hour or so," was the absent-minded reply.
+
+"Humph!  You'd better cast off afore that or you'll be fog bound.
+It'll be thicker'n dock mud toward sundown, and you'll fetch up in
+Waptomac 'stead of East Harniss, 'thout you've got a good compass."
+
+"Oh, my compass is all right," began Issy, and stopped short.  The
+lobsterman made other attempts at conversation, but they were
+unproductive.  McKay was gazing at the growing fog bank and
+thinking hard.  To doctor an engine may be difficult, but to get
+lost in a fog--  He took the compass from the glass-lidded binnacle
+by the wheel, and carrying it into the little cabin, placed it in
+the cuddy forward.
+
+It was nearer five than four when the Lady May, her engine barking
+aggressively, moved out of Denboro Harbor.  Mr. Bartlett, the
+passenger, had been on time and had fumed and fretted at the delay.
+But Issy was deliberation itself.  He had forgotten his quahaug
+rake, and the lapse of memory entailed a trip to the blacksmith's.
+Then the gasoline tank needed filling and the battery had to be
+overhauled.
+
+"Are you sure you can make it?" queried Sam anxiously.  "It's
+important, I tell you.  Mighty important."
+
+The skipper snorted in disgust.  "Make it?" he repeated.  "If the
+Lady May can't make fourteen mile in two hours--let alone two'n a
+ha'f--then I don't know her.  She's one of them boats you read
+about, she is."
+
+The Cape makes a wide bend between Denboro and Trumet.  The
+distance between these towns is twenty long, curved miles over the
+road; by water it is reduced to a straight fourteen.  And midway
+between the two, at the center of the curve, is East Harniss.
+
+The Lady May coughed briskly on.  There was no sea, and she sent
+long, widening ripples from each side of her bow.  Bartlett,
+leaning over the rail, gazed impatiently ahead.  Issy, sprawled on
+the bench by the wheel, was muttering to himself.  Occasionally he
+glanced toward the east.  The gray fog bank was now half way to the
+zenith and approaching rapidly.  The eastern shore had disappeared.
+
+"Is!  Hi, Is!  What are you doing?  Don't kill him before my eyes."
+
+Issy came out of his trance with a start.
+
+"What--what's that?" he asked.  His passenger was grinning broadly.
+
+"What?  Kill who?"
+
+"Why, the big chief, or whoever you had under your knee just then.
+You've been rolling your eyes and punching air with your fist for
+the last five minutes.  I was getting scared.  You're an unmerciful
+sinner when you get started, ain't you, Is?  Who was the victim
+that time?  'Man Afraid of Hot Water'? or who?"
+
+The skipper scowled.  He shoved the fist into his pocket.
+
+"Naw," he growled.  "'Twa'n't."
+
+"So?  Not an Indian?  Then it must have been a white man.  Some
+fellow after your girl, perhaps.  Hey?"
+
+The disconcerted Issy was speechless.  His companion's chance shot
+had scored a bull's-eye.  Sam whooped.
+
+"That's it!" he crowed.  "Sure thing!  Give it to him, Is!  Don't
+spare him."
+
+Mr. McKay chokingly admitted that he "wa'n't goin' to."
+
+"Ho, ho!  That's the stuff!  But who's SHE, Is?  When are you going
+to marry her?"
+
+Issy grunted spitefully.  "You ain't married yourself--not yit," he
+observed, with concealed sarcasm.
+
+The unsuspecting Bartlett laughed in triumph.  "No," he said.  "I'm
+not, that's a fact; but maybe I'm going to be some of these days.
+It looked pretty dubious for a while, but now it's all right."
+
+"'Tis, hey?  You're sure about that, be you?"
+
+"Guess I am.  Great Scott! what's that?  Fog?"
+
+A damp breath blew across the boat.  The clouds covered the sky
+overhead and the bay to port.  The fog was pouring like smoke
+across the water.
+
+"Fog, by thunder!" exclaimed Bartlett.
+
+Issy smiled.  "Hum!  Yes, 'tis fog, ain't it?" he observed.
+
+"But what'll we do?  It'll be here in a minute, won't it?"
+
+"Shouldn't be a mite surprised.  Looks 's if twas here now."
+
+The fog came on.  It reached the Lady May, passed over her, and
+shut her within gray, wet walls.  It was impossible to see a length
+from her side.  Sam swore emphatically.  The skipper was
+provokingly calm.  He stepped to the engine, bent over it, and then
+returned to the wheel.
+
+"What are you doing?" demanded Bartlett.
+
+"Slowin' down, of course.  Can't run more'n ha'f speed in a fog
+like this.  'Tain't safe."
+
+"Safe!  What do I care?  I want to get to Trumet."
+
+"Yes?  Well, maybe we'll git there if we have luck."
+
+"You idiot!  We've GOT to get there.  How can you tell which way to
+steer?  Get your compass, man! get your compass!"
+
+"Ain't got no compass," was the sulky answer.  Left it to home."
+
+"Why, no, you didn't.  I--"
+
+"I tell you I did.  'Twas careless of me, I know, but--"
+
+"But I say you didn't.  When you went uptown after that quahaug
+rake I explored this craft of yours some.  The compass is in that
+little closet at the end of the cabin.  I'll get it."
+
+He rose to his feet.  Issy sprang forward and seized him by the
+arm.
+
+"Set down!" he yelled.  "Who's runnin' this boat, you or me?"
+
+The astounded passenger stared at his companion.
+
+"Why, you are," he replied.  "But that's no reason--  What's the
+matter with you, anyway?  Have your dime novels driven you loony?"
+
+Issy hesitated.  For a moment chagrin and rage at this sudden upset
+of his schemes had gotten the better of his prudence.  But Bartlett
+was taller than he and broad in proportion.  And valor--except of
+the imaginative brand--was not Issy's strong point.
+
+"There, there, Sam!" he explained, smiling crookedly.  "You mustn't
+mind me.  I'm sort of nervous, I guess.  And you mustn't hop up and
+down in a boat that way.  You set still and I'll fetch the
+compass."
+
+He stumbled across the cockpit and disappeared in the dusk of the
+cabin.  Finding that compass took a long time.  Sam lost patience.
+
+"What's the matter?" he demanded.  "Can't you find it?  Shall I
+come?"
+
+"No, no!" screamed Issy vehemently.  "Stay where you be.  Catch a-
+holt of that wheel.  We'll be spinnin' circles if you don't.  I'm
+a-comin'."
+
+But it was another five minutes before he emerged from the cabin,
+carrying the compass box very carefully with both hands.  He placed
+it in the binnacle and closed the glass lid.
+
+"'Twas catched in a bluefish line," he explained.  "All snarled up,
+'twas."
+
+Sam peered through the glass at the compass.
+
+"Thunder!" he exclaimed.  "I should say we had spun around.
+Instead of north being off here where I thought it was, it's 'way
+out to the right.  Queer how fog'll mix a fellow up.  Trumet's
+about northeast, isn't it?"
+
+"No'theast by no'th's the course.  Keep her just there."
+
+The Lady May, still at half speed, kept on through the mist.  Time
+passed.  The twilight, made darker still by the fog, deepened.
+They lit the lantern in order to see the compass card.  Issy had
+the wheel now.  Sam was forward, keeping a lookout and fretting at
+the delay.
+
+"It's seven o'clock already," he cried.  "For Heaven's sake, how
+late will you be?  I've got to be there by quarter of eight.  D'you
+hear?  I've GOT to."
+
+"Well, we're gittin' there.  Can't expect to travel so fast with
+part of the power off.  You'll be where you're goin' full as soon
+as you want to be, I cal'late."
+
+And he chuckled.
+
+Another half hour and, through the wet dimness, a light flashed,
+vanished, and flashed again.  Issy saw it and smiled grimly.
+Bartlett saw it and shouted.
+
+"'What's that light?" he cried.  "Did you see it?  There it is, off
+there."
+
+"I see it.  There's a light at Trumet Neck, ain't there?"
+
+"Humph!  It's been years since I was there, but I thought Trumet
+light was steady.  However--"
+
+"Ain't that the wharf ahead?"
+
+Sure enough, out of the dark loomed the bulk of a small wharf, with
+catboats at anchor near it.  Higher up, somewhere on the shore,
+were the lighted windows of a building.
+
+"By thunder, we're here!" exclaimed Sam, and drew a long breath.
+
+Issy shut off the power altogether, and the Lady May slid easily up
+to the wharf.  Feverishly her skipper made her fast.
+
+"Yes, sir!" he cried exultantly.  "We're here.  And no Black Rover
+nor anybody else ever done a better piece of steerin' than that,
+nuther."
+
+He clambered over the stringpiece, right at the heels of his
+impatient but grateful passenger.  Sam's thanks were profuse and
+sincere.
+
+"I'll never forget it, Is," he declared.  "I'll never forget it.
+And you'll have to let me pay you the--  What makes you shake so?"
+
+Issy pulled his arm away and stepped back.
+
+"I'll never forget it, Is," continued Sam.  "I--  Why!  What--?"
+
+He was standing at the shore end of the wharf, gazing up at the
+lighted windows.  They were those of a dwelling house--an old-
+fashioned house with a back yard sloping down to the landing.
+
+And then Issy McKay leaned forward and spoke in his ear.
+
+"You bet you won't forgit it, Sam Bartlett!" he crowed, in
+trembling but delicious triumph.  "You bet you won't!  I've fixed
+you just the same as the Black Rover fixed the mutineers.  Run off
+with my girl, will ye?  And marry her, will ye?  I--"
+
+Sam interrupted him.  "Why!  WHY!" he cried.  "That's--that's
+Gertie's house!  This isn't Trumet!  IT'S EAST HARNISS!
+
+The next moment he was seized from behind.  The skipper's arms were
+around his waist and the skipper's thin legs twisted about his own.
+They fell together upon the sand and, as they rolled and struggled,
+Issy's yells rose loud and high.
+
+"Mr. Higgins!" he shrieked.  "Mr. Higgins!  Come on!  I've got him!
+I've got the feller that's tryin' to steal your daughter!  Come on!
+I've got him!  I'm hangin' to him!"
+
+A door banged open.  Some one rushed down the walk.  And then a
+girl's voice cried in alarm:
+
+"What is it?  Who is it?  What IS the matter?"
+
+And from the bundle of legs and arms on the ground two voices
+exclaimed: "GERTIE!"
+
+"But where IS your father?" asked Sam.  Issy asked nothing.  He
+merely sat still and listened.
+
+"Why, he's at Trumet.  At least I suppose he is.  Mrs. Jones--she's
+gone to telephone to him now--says that he came home this morning
+with one of those dreadful 'attacks' of his.  And after dinner he
+seemed so sick that, when she went for the doctor, she wired me at
+Auntie's to come home.  I didn't want to come--you know why--but I
+COULDN'T let him die alone.  And so I caught the three o'clock
+train and came.  I knew you'd forgive me.  But it seems that when
+Mrs. Jones came back with the doctor they found father up and
+dressed and storming like a crazy man.  He had received some sort
+of a letter; he wouldn't say what.  And, in spite of all they could
+do, he insisted on going out.  And Cap'n Berry--the depot master--
+says he went to Trumet on the afternoon freight.  We must have
+passed each other on the way.  And I'm so--  But why are you HERE?
+And what were you and Issy doing?  And--"
+
+Her lover broke in eagerly.  "Then you're alone now?" he asked.
+
+"Yes, but--"
+
+"Good!  Your father can't get a train back from Trumet before to-
+morrow morning.  I don't know what this letter was--but never mind.
+Perhaps friend McKay knows more about it.  It may be that Mr.
+Higgins is waiting now outside the Baptist church.  Gertie, now's
+our chance.  You come with me right up to the minister's.  He's a
+friend of mine.  He understands.  He'll marry us, I know.  Come!
+We mustn't lose a minute.  Your dad may take a notion to drive
+back."
+
+He led her off up the lane, she protesting, he urging.  At the
+corner of the house he turned.
+
+"I say, Is!" he called.  "Don't you want to come to the wedding?
+Seems to me we owe you that, considering all you've done to help it
+along.  Or perhaps you want to stay and fix that compass of yours."
+
+Issy didn't answer.  Some time after they had gone he arose from
+the ground and stumbled home.  That night he put a paper novel into
+the stove.  Next morning, before going to the depot, he removed an
+iron spike from the Lady May's compass box.  The needle swung back
+to its proper position.
+
+
+CHAPTER XVIII
+
+THE MOUNTAIN AND MAHOMET
+
+
+The eleventh of July.  The little Berry house stood high on its
+joists and rollers, in the middle of the Hill Boulevard, directly
+opposite the Edwards lot.  Close behind it loomed the big
+"Colonial."  Another twenty-four hours, and, even at its one-horse
+gait, the depot master's dwelling would be beyond the strip of
+Edwards fence.  The "Colonial" would be ready to move on the lot,
+and Olive Edwards, the widow, would be obliged to leave her home.
+In fact, Mr. Williams had notified her that she and her few
+belongings must be off the premises by the afternoon of the
+twelfth.
+
+The great Williams was in high good-humor.  He chuckled as he
+talked with his foreman, and the foreman chuckled in return.
+Simeon Phinney did not chuckle.  He was anxious and worried, and
+even the news of Gertie Higgins's runaway marriage, brought to him
+by Obed Gott, who--having been so recently the victim of another
+unexpected matrimonial alliance--was wickedly happy over the
+postmaster's discomfiture, did not interest him greatly.
+
+"Well, I wonder who'll be the next couple," speculated Obed.
+"First Polena and old Hardee, then Gertie Higgins and Sam Bartlett!
+I declare, Sim, gettin' married unbeknownst to anybody must be
+catchin', like the measles.  Nobody's safe unless they've got a
+wife or husband livin'.  Me and Sol Berry are old baches--we'd
+better get vaccinated or WE may come down with the disease.  Ho!
+ho!"
+
+After dinner Mr. Phinney went from his home to the depot.  Captain
+Sol was sitting in the ticket office, with the door shut.  On the
+platform, forlornly sprawled upon the baggage truck, was Issy
+McKay, the picture of desolation.  He started nervously when he
+heard Simeon's step.  As yet Issy's part in the Bartlett-Higgins
+episode was unknown to the townspeople.  Sam and Gertie had
+considerately kept silence.  Beriah had not learned who sent him
+the warning note, the unlucky missive which had brought his
+troubles to a climax.  But he was bound to learn it, he would find
+out soon, and then--  No wonder Issy groaned.
+
+"Come in here, Sim," said the depot master.  Phinney entered the
+ticket office.
+
+"Shut the door," commanded the Captain.  The order was obeyed.
+"Well, what is it?" asked Berry.
+
+"Why, I just run in to see you a minute, Sol, that's all.  What are
+you shut up in here all alone for?"
+
+"'Cause I want to be alone.  There's been more than a thousand
+folks in this depot so far to-day, seems so, and they all wanted to
+talk.  I don't feel like talkin'."
+
+"Heard about Gertie Higgins and--"
+
+"Yes."
+
+"Who told you?"
+
+"Hiram Baker told me first.  He's a fine feller and he's so
+tickled, now that his youngster's 'most well, that he cruises
+around spoutin' talk and joy same as a steamer's stack spouts
+cinders.  He told me.  Then Obed Gott and Cornelius Rowe and Redny
+Blount and Pat Starkey, and land knows how many more, came to tell
+me.  I cut 'em short.  Why, even the Major himself condescended to
+march in, grand and imposin' as a procession, to make proclamations
+about love laughin' at locksmiths, and so on.  Since he got Polena
+and her bank account he's a bigger man than the President, in his
+own estimate."
+
+"Humph!  Well, he better make the best of it while it lasts.
+P'lena ain't Hetty Green, and her money won't hold out forever."
+
+"That's a fact.  Still Polena's got sense.  She'll hold Hardee in
+check, I cal'late.  I wouldn't wonder if it ended by her bossin'
+things and the Major actin' as a sort of pet poodle dog--nice and
+pretty to walk out with, but always kept at the end of a string."
+
+"You didn't go to Higgins's for dinner to-day, did you?"
+
+"No.  Nor I shan't go for supper.  Beriah's bad enough when he's
+got nothin' the matter with him but dyspepsy.  Now that his
+sufferin's are complicated with elopements, I don't want to eat
+with him."
+
+"Come and have supper with us."
+
+"I guess not, thank you, Sim.  I'll get some crackers and cheese
+and such at the store.  I--I ain't very hungry these days."
+
+He turned his head and looked out of the window.  Simeon fidgeted.
+
+"Sol," he said, after a pause, "we'll be past Olive's by to-morrer
+night."
+
+No answer.  Sim repeated his remark.
+
+"I know it," was the short reply.
+
+"Yes--yes, I s'posed you did, but--"
+
+"Sim, don't bother me now.  This is my last day here at the depot,
+and I've got things to do."
+
+"Your last day?  Why, what--?"
+
+Captain Sol told briefly of his resignation and of the coming of
+the new depot master.
+
+"But you givin' up your job!" gasped Phinney.  "YOU!  Why, what
+for?"
+
+"For instance, I guess.  I ain't dependent on the wages, and I'm
+sick of the whole thing."
+
+"But what'll you do?"
+
+"Don't know."
+
+"You--you won't leave town, will you?  Lawsy mercy, I hope not!"
+
+"Don't know.  Maybe I'll know better by and by.  I've got to think
+things out.  Run along now, like a good feller.  Don't say nothin'
+about my quittin'.  All hands'll know it to-morrow, and that's soon
+enough."
+
+Simeon departed, his brain in a whirl.  Captain Solomon Berry no
+longer depot master!  The world must be coming to an end.
+
+He remained at his work until supper time.  During the meal he ate
+and said so little that his wife wondered and asked questions.  To
+avoid answering them he hurried out.  When he returned, about ten
+o'clock, he was a changed man.  His eyes shone and he fairly danced
+with excitement.
+
+"Emeline!" he shouted, as he burst into the sitting room.  "What do
+you think?  I've got the everlastin'est news to tell!"
+
+"Good or bad?" asked the practical Mrs. Phinney.
+
+"Good!  So good that--  There! let me tell you.  When I left here I
+went down to the store and hung around till the mail was sorted.
+Pat Starkey was doin' the sortin', Beriah bein' too upsot by
+Gertie's gettin' married to attend to anything.  Pat called me to
+the mail window and handed me a letter.
+
+"'It's for Olive Edwards,' he says.  'She's been expectin' one for
+a consider'ble spell, she told me, and maybe this is it.  P'r'aps
+you'd just as soon go round by her shop and leave it.'
+
+"I took the letter and looked at it.  Up in one corner was the
+printed name of an Omaha firm.  I never said nothin', but I
+sartinly hustled on my way up the hill.
+
+"Olive was in her little settin' room back of the shop.  She was
+pretty pale, and her eyes looked as if she hadn't been doin' much
+sleepin' lately.  Likewise I noticed--and it give me a queer
+feelin' inside--that her trunk was standin', partly packed, in the
+corner."
+
+"The poor woman!" exclaimed Mrs. Phinney.
+
+"Yes," went on her husband.  "Well, I handed over the letter and
+started to go, but she told me to set down and rest, 'cause I was
+so out of breath.  To tell you the truth, I was crazy to find out
+what was in that envelope and, being as she'd give me the excuse, I
+set.
+
+"She took the letter over to the lamp and looked at it for much as
+a minute, as if she was afraid to open it.  But at last, and with
+her fingers shakin' like the palsy, she fetched a long breath and
+tore off the end of the envelope.  It was a pretty long letter, and
+she read it through.  I see her face gettin' whiter and whiter and,
+when she reached the bottom of the last page, the letter fell onto
+the floor.  Down went her head on her arms, and she cried as if her
+heart would break.  I never felt so sorry for anybody in my life.
+
+"'Don't, Mrs. Edwards,' I says.  'Please don't.  That cousin of
+yours is a darn ungrateful scamp, and I'd like to have my claws on
+his neck this minute.'
+
+"She never even asked me how I knew about the cousin.  She was too
+much upset for that.
+
+"'Oh! oh!' she sobs.  'What SHALL I do?  Where shall I go?  I
+haven't got a friend in the world!'
+
+"I couldn't stand that.  I went acrost and laid my hand on her
+shoulder.
+
+"'Mrs. Edwards,' says I, 'you mustn't say that.  You've got lots of
+friends.  I'm your friend.  Mr. Hilton's your friend.  Yes, and
+there's another, the best friend of all.  If it weren't for him,
+you'd have been turned out into the street long before this.'"
+
+Mrs. Phinney nodded.  "I'm glad you told her!" she exclaimed.
+"She'd ought to know."
+
+"That's what I thought," said Simeon.
+
+"Well, she raised her head then and looked at me.
+
+"'You mean Mr. Williams?' she asks.
+
+"That riled me up.  'Williams nothin'!' says I.  'Williams let you
+stay here 'cause he could just as well as not.  If he'd known that
+this other friend was keepin' him from gettin' here, just on your
+account, he'd have chucked you to glory, promise or no promise.
+But this friend, this real friend, he don't count cost, nor
+trouble, nor inconvenience.  Hikes his house--the house he lives
+in--right out into the road, moves it to a place where he don't
+want to go, and--'
+
+"'Mr. Phinney,' she sighs out, 'what do you mean?'
+
+"And then I told her.  She listened without sayin' a word, but her
+eyes kept gettin' brighter and brighter and she breathed short.
+
+"'Oh!' she says, when I'd finished.  'Did he--did he--do that for
+ME?'
+
+"'You bet!' says I.  'He didn't tell me what he was doin' it for--
+that ain't Sol's style; but I'm arithmetiker enough to put two and
+two together and make four.  He did it for you, you can bet your
+last red on that.'
+
+"She stood up.  'Oh!' she breathes.  'I--I must go and thank him.
+I--'
+
+"But, knowin' Sol, I was afraid.  Fust place, there was no tellin'
+how he'd act, and, besides, he might not take it kindly that I'd
+told her.
+
+"'Wait a jiffy,' I says.  'I'll go out and see if he's home.  You
+stay here.  I'll be back right off.'
+
+"Out I put, and over to the Berry house, standin' on its rollers in
+the middle of the Boulevard.  And, just as I got to it, somebody
+says:
+
+"'Ahoy, Sim!  What's the hurry?  Anybody on fire?'
+
+"'Twas the Cap'n himself, settin' on a pile of movin' joist and
+smokin' as usual.  I didn't waste no time.
+
+"'Sol,' says I, 'I've just come from Olive's.  She's got that
+letter from the Omaha man.  Poor thing! all alone there--'
+
+"He interrupted me sharp.  'Well?' he snaps.  'What's it say?  Will
+the cousin help her?'
+
+"'No,' I says, 'drat him, he won't!'
+
+"The answer I got surprised me more'n anything I ever heard or ever
+will hear.
+
+"'Thank God!' says Sol Berry.  'That settles it.'
+
+"And I swan to man if he didn't climb down off them timbers and
+march straight across the street, over to the door of Olive
+Edwards's home, open it, and go in!  I leaned against the joist
+he'd left, and swabbed my forehead with my sleeve."
+
+"He went to HER!" gasped Mrs. Phinney.
+
+"Wait," continued her husband.  "I must have stood there twenty
+minutes when I heard somebody hurryin' down the Boulevard.  'Twas
+Cornelius Rowe, all red-faced and het up, but bu'stin' with news.
+
+"''Lo, Sim!' says he to me.  'Is Cap'n Sol home?  Does he know?'
+
+"'Know?  Know what?" says I.
+
+"'Why, the trick Mr. Williams put up on him?  Hey?  You ain't
+heard?  Well, Mr. Williams's fixed him nice, HE has!  Seems Abner
+Payne hadn't answered Sol's letter tellin' him he'd accept the
+offer to swap lots, and Williams went up to Wareham where Payne's
+been stayin' and offered him a thumpin' price for the land on Main
+Street, and took it.  The deed's all made out.  Cap'n Sol can't
+move where he was goin' to, and he's left with his house on the
+town, as you might say.  Ain't it a joke, though?  Where is Sol?  I
+want to be the fust to tell him and see how he acts.  Is he to
+home?'
+
+"I was shook pretty nigh to pieces, but I had some sense left.
+
+"'No, he ain't,' says I.  'I see him go up street a spell ago.'"
+
+"Why, Simeon!" interrupted Mrs. Phinney once more.  "Was that true?
+How COULD you see him when--"
+
+"Be still!  S'pose I was goin' to tell him where Sol HAD gone?  I'd
+have lied myself blue fust.  However, Cornelius was satisfied.
+
+"'That so?' he grunts.  'By jings!  I'm goin' to find him.'
+
+"Off he went, and the next thing I knew the Edwards door opened,
+and I heard somebody callin' my name.  I went acrost, walkin' in a
+kind of daze, and there, in the doorway, with the lamp shinin' on
+'em, was Cap'n Sol and Olive.  The tears was wet on her cheeks, but
+she was smilin' in a kind of shy, half-believin' sort of way, and
+as for Sol, he was one broad, satisfied grin.
+
+"'Cap'n,' I begun, 'I just heard the everlastin'est news that--'
+
+"'Shut up, Sim!' he orders, cheerful.  'You've been a mighty good
+friend to both of us, and I want you to be the fust to shake
+hands.'
+
+"'Shake hands?' I stammers, lookin' at 'em.  'WHAT?  You don't
+mean--'
+
+"'I mean shake hands.  Don't you want to?'
+
+"Want to!  I give 'em both one more look, and then we shook, up to
+the elbows; and my grin had the Cap'n's beat holler.
+
+"'Sim,' he says, after I'd cackled a few minutes, 'I cal'late maybe
+that white horse is well by this time.  P'r'aps we might move a
+little faster.  I'm kind of anxious to get to Main Street.'
+
+"Then I remembered.  'Great gosh all fish-hooks!' I sings out.
+'Main Street?  Why, there AIN'T no Main Street!'
+
+"And I gives 'em Cornelius's news.  The widow's smile faded out.
+
+"'Oh!' says she.  'O Solomon!  And I got you into all this
+trouble!'
+
+"Cap'n Sol didn't stop grinnin', but he scratched his head.  'Huh!'
+says he.  'Mark one up for King Williams the Great.  Humph!'
+
+"He thought for a minute and then he laughed out loud.  'Olive,' he
+says, 'if I remember right, you and I always figgered to live on
+the Shore Road.  It's the best site in town.  Sim, I guess if that
+white horse IS well, you can move that shanty of mine right to
+Cross Street, down that, and back along the Shore Road to the place
+where it come from.  THAT land's mine yet,' says he.
+
+"If that wa'n't him all over!  I couldn't think what to say, except
+that folks would laugh some, I cal'lated.
+
+"'Not at us, they won't,' says he.  'We'll clear out till the
+laughin' is over.  Olive, to-morrer mornin' we'll call on Parson
+Hilton and then take the ten o'clock train.  I feel's if a trip to
+Washin'ton would be about right just now.'
+
+"She started and blushed and then looked up into his face.
+'Solomon,' she says, low, 'I really would like to go to Niagara.'
+
+"He shook his head.  'Old lady,' says he, 'I guess you don't quite
+understand this thing.  See here'--p'intin' to his house loomin'
+big and black in the roadway--'see! the mountain has come to
+Mahomet.'"
+
+Mrs. Phinney had heard enough.  She sprang from her chair and
+seized her husband's hands.
+
+"Splendid!" she cried, her face beaming.  "Oh, AIN'T it lovely!
+Ain't you glad for 'em, Simeon?"
+
+"Glad!  Say, Emeline; there's some of that wild-cherry bounce down
+cellar, ain't there?  Let's break our teetotalism for once and
+drink a glass to Cap'n and Mrs. Solomon Berry.  Jerushy!  I got to
+do SOMETHIN' to celebrate."
+
+
+On the Hill Boulevard the summer wind stirred the silverleaf
+poplars.  The thick, black shadows along the sidewalks were heavy
+with the perfume of flowers.  Captain Sol, ex-depot master of East
+Harniss, strolled on in the dark, under the stars, his hands in his
+pockets, and in his heart happiness complete and absolute.
+
+Behind him twinkled the lamp in the window of the Edwards house, so
+soon to be torn down.  Before him, over the barberry hedge, blazed
+the windows of the mansion the owner of which was responsible for
+it all.  The windows were open, and through them sounded the voices
+of the mighty Ogden Hapworth Williams and his wife, engaged in a
+lively altercation.  It was an open secret that their married life
+was anything but peaceful.
+
+"What are you grumbling about now?" demanded 'Williams.  "Don't I
+give you more money than--"
+
+"Nonsense!" sneered Mrs. Williams, in scornful derision.
+"Nonsense, I say!  Money is all there is to you, Ogden.  In other
+things, the real things of this world, those you can't buy with
+money, you're a perfect imbecile.  You know nothing whatever about
+them."
+
+Captain Sol, alone on the walk by the hedge, glanced in the
+direction of the shrill voice, then back at the lamp in Olive's
+window.  And he laughed aloud.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg Etext of The Depot Master, by Joseph C. Lincoln
+
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