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+Project Gutenberg's The Comedies of Terence, by Publius Terentius Afer
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Comedies of Terence
+
+Author: Publius Terentius Afer
+
+Translator: George Colman
+
+Release Date: September 21, 2007 [EBook #22695]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE COMEDIES OF TERENCE ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Louise Hope, David Starner and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+  [Transcriber's Note:
+
+  This translation of Terence was published by Harper & Brothers as
+  the second part of an omnibus volume also containing the 1853 Riley
+  translation (prose, with notes and commentary). The Riley portion
+  has been released as a separate e-text, #22188.
+
+  This e-text includes readings from the 1768 second edition of
+  Colman. In general, only differences in wording are included;
+  variations in spelling and punctuation were disregarded. It is not
+  known whether the Harper's text was based on the first edition of
+  Colman or some later edition. Where the Harper text was clearly in
+  error, the 1768 reading was substituted in the main text. In all
+  cases, the alternative readings are shown at the end of each Scene.
+
+  Stage directions in braces such as {_MICIO and DEMEA apart._} were
+  added by the transcriber where the original format was impractical.
+
+  Each play is a free-standing unit.]
+
+
+
+
+                      The
+                    COMEDIES
+                       of
+                    TERENCE.
+
+    Literally Translated into English Prose,
+                  with Notes.
+
+
+          By HENRY THOMAS RILEY, B.A.,
+     Late Scholar of Clare Hall, Cambridge.
+
+
+               To which is added
+        the blank verse translation of
+                 GEORGE COLMAN.
+
+
+                   New York:
+         Harper & Brothers, Publishers,
+                Franklin Square.
+                     1896.
+
+
+
+
+  Harper's
+  NEW CLASSICAL LIBRARY.
+
+  Comprising Literal Translations of
+
+  Cæsar.
+  Virgil.
+  Sallust.
+  Horace.
+  Terence.
+  Tacitus. 2 Vols.
+  Livy. 2 Vols.
+  Cicero's Orations.
+  Cicero's Offices, Lælius, Cato Major, Paradoxes,
+    Scipio's Dream, Letter to Quintus.
+  Cicero On Oratory and Orators.
+  Cicero's Tusculan Disputations, The Nature of the Gods,
+    and The Commonwealth.
+  Juvenal.
+  Xenophon.
+  Homer's Iliad.
+  Homer's Odyssey.
+  Herodotus.
+  Demosthenes. 2 Vols.
+  Thucydides.
+  Æschylus.
+  Sophocles.
+  Euripides. 2 Vols.
+  Plato (Select Dialogues).
+
+12mo, Cloth, $1.00 per Volume.
+
+
+Published by HARPER & BROTHERS, New York.
+
+_The above works are for sale by all booksellers, or they will be sent
+by HARPER & BROTHERS to any address on receipt of price as quoted. If
+ordered sent by mail, 10 per cent. should be added to the price to
+cover cost of postage._
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+COMEDIES OF TERENCE: IN VERSE.
+
+  The Andrian              367
+  The Eunuch               408
+  The Self-Tormentor       451
+  The Brothers             494
+  The Step-Mother          535
+  Phormio                  568
+
+
+
+
+  THE
+  COMEDIES
+  OF
+  TERENCE.
+
+  TRANSLATED INTO
+  FAMILIAR BLANK VERSE,
+  BY GEORGE COLMAN.
+
+  Primores populi arripuit populumque tributim:
+  Scilicet uni æquus virtuti atque ejus amicis.
+  Quin ubi se a vulgo et scena in secreta remorant
+  Virtus Scipiadæ et mitis sapientia Læli,
+  Nugari cum illo et discincti ludere, donec
+  Decoqueretur olus, soliti.
+
+  HORACE.
+
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+           *       *       *       *
+
+
+THE ANDRIAN.
+
+
+PERSONS REPRESENTED.
+
+  PROLOGUE.
+  SIMO.
+  PAMPHILUS.
+  CHREMES.
+  CHARINUS.
+  CRITO.
+  SOSIA.
+  DAVUS.
+  BYRRHIA.
+  DROMO.
+  SERVANTS, ETC.
+
+  GLYCERIUM.
+  MYSIS.
+  LESBIA.
+  ARCHYLLIS.
+
+SCENE, ATHENS.
+
+
+
+
+PROLOGUE.
+
+  The Bard, when first he gave his mind to write,
+Thought it his only business, that his Plays
+Should please the people: but it now falls out,
+He finds, much otherwise, and wastes, perforce,
+His time in writing Prologues; not to tell
+The argument, but to refute the slanders
+Broach'd by the malice of an older Bard.
+  And mark what vices he is charg'd withal!
+Menander wrote the Andrian and Perinthian:
+Know one, and you know both; in argument
+Less diff'rent than in sentiment and style.
+What suited with the Andrian he confesses
+From the Perinthian he transferr'd, and us'd
+For his: and this it is these sland'rers blame,
+Proving by deep and learned disputation,
+That Fables should not be contaminated.
+Troth! all the knowledge is they nothing know:
+Who, blaming; him, blame Nævius, Plautus, Ennius,
+Whose great example is his precedent;
+Whose negligence he'd wish to emulate
+Rather than _their_ dark diligence. Henceforth,
+Let them, I give them warning, be at peace,
+And cease to rail, lest they be made to know
+Their own misdeeds. Be favorable! sit
+With equal mind, and hear our play; that hence
+Ye may conclude, what hope to entertain,
+The comedies he may hereafter write
+Shall merit approbation or contempt.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    That Fables should not be contaminated.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    That Fables should not be confounded thus.]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FIRST.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _SIMO, SOSIA, and SERVANTS with Provisions._
+
+SIMO. Carry those things in: go! (_Ex. SERVANTS._
+  Sosia, come here;
+A word with you!
+
+SOSIA. I understand: that these
+Be ta'en due care of.
+
+SIMO. Quite another thing.
+
+SOSIA. What can my art do more for you?
+
+SIMO. This business
+Needs not that art; but those good qualities,
+Which I have ever known abide in you,
+Fidelity and secrecy.
+
+SOSIA. I wait
+Your pleasure.
+
+SIMO. Since I bought you, from a boy
+How just and mild a servitude you've pass'd
+With me, you're conscious: from a purchas'd slave
+I made you free, because you serv'd me freely:
+The greatest recompense I could bestow.
+
+SOSIA. I do remember.
+
+SIMO. Nor do I repent.
+
+SOSIA. If I have ever done, or now do aught
+That's pleasing to you, Simo, I am glad,
+And thankful that you hold my service good
+And yet this troubles me: for this detail,
+Forcing your kindness on my memory,
+Seems to reproach me of ingratitude.
+Oh tell me then at once, what would you? Sir!
+
+SIMO. I will; and this I must advise you first;
+The nuptial you suppose preparing now,
+Is all unreal.
+
+SOSIA. Why pretend it then?
+
+SIMO. You shall hear all from first to last: and thus
+The conduct of my son, my own intent,
+And what part you're to act, you'll know at once.
+For my son, Sosia, now to manhood grown,
+Had freer scope of living: for before
+How might you know, or how indeed divine
+His disposition, good or ill, while youth,
+Fear, and a master, all constrain'd him?
+
+SOSIA. True.
+
+SIMO. Though most, as is the bent of youth, apply
+Their mind to some one object, horses, hounds,
+Or to the study of philosophy;
+Yet none of these, beyond the rest, did he
+Pursue; and yet, in moderation, all.
+I was o'erjoy'd.
+
+SOSIA. And not without good cause.
+For this I hold to be the Golden Rule
+Of Life, too much of one thing's good for nothing.
+
+SIMO. So did he shape his life to bear himself
+With ease and frank good-humor unto all;
+Mix'd in what company soe'er, to them
+He wholly did resign himself; and join'd
+In their pursuits, opposing nobody,
+Nor e'er assuming to himself: and thus
+With ease, and free from envy, may you gain
+Praise, and conciliate friends.
+
+SOSIA. He rul'd his life
+By prudent maxims: for, as times go now,
+Compliance raises friends, and truth breeds hate.
+
+SIMO. Meanwhile, 'tis now about three years ago,
+A certain woman from the isle of Andros,
+Came o'er to settle in this neighborhood,
+By poverty and cruel kindred driv'n:
+Handsome and young.
+
+SOSIA. Ah! I begin to fear
+Some mischief from this Andrian.
+
+SIMO. At first
+Modest and thriftily, though poor, she liv'd,
+With her own hands a homely livelihood
+Scarce earning from the distaff and the loom.
+But when a lover came, with promis'd gold,
+Another, and another, as the mind
+Falls easily from labor to delight,
+She took their offers, and set up the trade.
+They, who were then her chief gallants, by chance
+Drew thither, as oft happen with young men
+My son to join their company. "So, so!"
+Said I within myself, "he's smit! he has it!"
+And in the morning as I saw their servants
+Run to and fro, I'd often call, "here, boy!
+Prithee now, who had Chrysis yesterday?"
+The name of this same Andrian.
+
+SOSIA. I take you.
+
+SIMO. Phædrus they said, Clinia, or Niceratus,
+For all these three then follow'd her.--"Well, well,
+But what of Pamphilus?"--"Of Pamphilus!
+He supp'd, and paid his reck'ning."--I was glad.
+Another day I made the like inquiry,
+But still found nothing touching Pamphilus.
+Thus I believ'd his virtue prov'd, and hence
+Thought him a miracle of continence:
+For he who struggles with such spirits, yet
+Holds in that commerce an unshaken mind,
+May well be trusted with the governance
+Of his own conduct. Nor was I alone
+Delighted with his life, but all the world
+With one accord said all good things, and prais'd
+My happy fortunes, who possess'd a son
+So good, so lib'rally disposed.--In short
+Chremes, seduc'd by this fine character,
+Came of his own accord, to offer me
+His only daughter with a handsome portion
+In marriage with my son. I lik'd the match;
+Betroth'd my son; and this was pitch'd upon,
+By joint agreement, for the wedding-day.
+
+SOSIA. And what prevents it's being so?
+
+SIMO. I'll tell you.
+In a few days, the treaty still on foot,
+This neighbor Chrysis dies.
+
+SOSIA. In happy hour:
+Happy for you! I was afraid of Chrysis.
+
+SIMO. My son, on this event, was often there
+With those who were the late gallants of Chrysis;
+Assisted to prepare the funeral,
+Ever condol'd, and sometimes wept with them.
+This pleas'd me then; for in myself I thought,
+"Since merely for a small acquaintance-sake
+He takes this woman's death so nearly, what
+If he himself had lov'd? What would he feel
+For me, his father?" All these things, I thought;
+Were but the tokens and the offices
+Of a humane and tender disposition.
+In short, on his account, e'en I myself
+Attend the funeral, suspecting yet
+No harm.
+
+SOSIA. And what----
+
+SIMO. You shall hear all. The Corpse
+Borne forth, we follow: when among the women
+Attending there, I chanc'd to cast my eyes,
+Upon one girl, in form----
+
+SOSIA. Not bad, perhaps----
+
+SIMO. And look; so modest, and so beauteous, Sosia!
+That nothing could exceed it. As she seem'd
+To grieve beyond the rest; and as her air
+Appear'd more liberal and ingenuous,
+I went and ask'd her women who she was.
+Sister, they said, to Chrysis: when at once
+It struck my mind; "So! so! the secret's out;
+Hence were those tears, and hence all that compassion!"
+
+SOSIA. Alas! I fear how this affair will end!
+
+SIMO. Meanwhile the funeral proceeds: we follow;
+Come to the sepulchre: the body's plac'd
+Upon the pile, lamented: whereupon
+This sister I was speaking of, all wild,
+Ran to the flames with peril of her life.
+Then! there! the frighted Pamphilus betrays
+His well-dissembled and long-hidden love:
+Runs up, and takes her round the waist, and cries,
+"Oh my Glycerium! what is it you do?
+Why, why endeavor to destroy yourself?"
+Then she, in such a manner, that you thence
+Might easily perceive their long, long, love,
+Threw herself back into his arms, and wept,
+Oh how familiarly!
+
+SOSIA. How say you!
+
+SIMO. I
+Return in anger thence, and hurt at heart,
+Yet had no cause sufficient for reproof.
+"What have I done? he'd say; or how deserv'd
+Reproach? or how offended, Father?--Her
+Who meant to cast herself into the flames,
+I stopped." A fair excuse!
+
+SOSIA. You're in the right;
+For him, who sav'd a life, if you reprove,
+What will you do to him that offers wrong?
+
+SIMO. Chremes next day came open-mouth'd to me:
+Oh monstrous! he had found that Pamphilus
+Was married to this stranger woman. I
+Deny the fact most steadily, and he
+As steadily insists. In short we part
+On such bad terms, as let me understand
+He would refuse his daughter.
+
+SOSIA. Did not you
+_Then_ take your son to task?
+
+SIMO. Not even this
+Appear'd sufficient for reproof.
+
+SOSIA. How so?
+
+SIMO. "Father, (he might have said) You have, you know,
+Prescrib'd a term to all these things yourself.
+The time is near at hand, when I must live
+According to the humor of another.
+Meanwhile, permit me now to please my own!"
+
+SOSIA. What cause remains to chide him then?
+
+SIMO. If he
+Refuses, on account of this amour,
+To take a wife, such obstinate denial
+Must be considered as his first offense.
+Wherefore I now, from this mock-nuptial,
+Endeavor to draw real cause to chide:
+And that same rascal Davus, if he's plotting,
+That he may let his counsel run to waste,
+Now, when his knaveries can do no harm:
+Who, I believe, with all his might and main
+Will strive to cross my purposes; and that
+More to plague me, than to oblige my son.
+
+SOSIA. Why so?
+
+SIMO. Why so! Bad mind, bad heart: But if
+I catch him at his tricks!--But what need words?
+--If, as I wish it may, it should appear
+That Pamphilus objects not to the match,
+Chremes remains to be prevail'd upon,
+And will, I hope, consent. 'Tis now your place
+To counterfeit these nuptials cunningly;
+To frighten Davus; and observe my son,
+What he's about, what plots they hatch together.
+
+SOSIA. Enough; I'll take due care. Let's now go in!
+
+SIMO. Go first: I'll follow you. (_Exit SOSIA._
+Beyond all doubt
+My son's averse to take a wife: I saw
+How frighten'd Davus was, but even now,
+When he was told a nuptial was preparing.
+But here he comes.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _In this Scene, all quotation marks were supplied from the
+  1768 edition._
+
+    SIMO. Carry those things in: go! (_Ex. SERVANTS._
+  _Harper text reads "Exit SERVANTS"; "Ex." (1768) can be taken as the
+  correct plural form "Exeunt"._
+
+  _Harper_
+    He wholly did resign himself; and join'd
+    In their pursuits, opposing nobody,
+  _Colman 1768_
+    He wholly did resign himself; complied
+    With all their humours, checking nobody,
+
+    ... Was married to this stranger woman. I
+    Deny the fact
+  _Line-final "I" missing in Harper text._]
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter DAVUS._
+
+DAVUS. (_to himself_). I thought 'twere wonderful
+If this affair went off so easily;
+And dreaded where my master's great good-humor
+Would end at last: who, after he perceiv'd
+The Lady was refus'd, ne'er said a word
+To any of us, nor e'er took it ill.
+
+SIMO. (_behind_). But now he will; to your cost too, I warrant you!
+
+DAVUS. This was his scheme; to lead us by the nose
+In a false dream of joy; then all agape
+With hope, even then that we were most secure,
+To have o'erwhelm'd us, nor have giv'n us time
+To cast about which way to break the match.
+Cunning old Gentleman!
+
+SIMO. What says the rogue?
+
+DAVUS. My master and I did not see him!
+
+SIMO. Davus!
+
+DAVUS. Well! what now? (_Pretending not to see him._)
+
+SIMO. Here! this way!
+
+DAVUS. What can he want? (_To himself._)
+
+SIMO. (_overhearing_). What say you?
+
+DAVUS. Upon what? Sir.
+
+SIMO. Upon what!
+The world reports that my son keeps a mistress.
+
+DAVUS. Oh, to be sure, the world cares much for that.
+
+SIMO. D'ye mind what I say? Sirrah!
+
+DAVUS. Nothing more, Sir.
+
+SIMO. But for me now to dive into these matters
+May seem perhaps like too severe a father:
+For all his youthful pranks concern not me.
+While 'twas in season, he had my free leave
+To take his swing of pleasure. But to-day
+Brings on another stage of life, and asks
+For other manners: wherefore I desire,
+Or, if you please, I do beseech you, Davus,
+To set him right again.
+
+DAVUS. What means all this?
+
+SIMO. All, who are fond of mistresses, dislike
+The thoughts of matrimony.
+
+DAVUS. So they say.
+
+SIMO. And then, if such a person entertains
+An evil counselor in those affairs,
+He tampers with the mind, and makes bad worse.
+
+DAVUS. Troth, I don't comprehend one word of this.
+
+SIMO. No?
+
+DAVUS. No. I'm Davus, and not Oedipus.
+
+SIMO. Then for the rest I have to say to you,
+You choose I should speak plainly.
+
+DAVUS. By all means.
+
+SIMO. If I discover then, that in this match
+You get to your dog's tricks to break it off,
+Or try to show how shrewd a rogue you are,
+I'll have you beat to mummy, and then thrown
+In prison, Sirrah! upon this condition,
+That when I take you out again, I swear
+To grind there in your stead. D'ye take me now?
+Or don't you understand this neither?
+
+DAVUS. Clearly.
+You have spoke out at last: the very thing!
+Quite plain and home; and nothing round about.
+
+SIMO. I could excuse your tricks in any thing,
+Rather than this.
+
+DAVUS. Good words! I beg of you.
+
+SIMO. You laugh at me: well, well!--I give you warning
+That you do nothing rashly, nor pretend
+You was not advertis'd of this--take heed! (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    To have o'erwhelm'd us, nor have giv'n us time
+  _Colman 1768_
+    To have o'erwhelm'd us, nor allow'd us time
+
+    Or, if you please, I do beseech you, Davus,
+  _anomalously printed as DAVUS in Harper text_]
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _DAVUS._
+
+Troth Davus, 'tis high time to look about you;
+No room for sloth, as far as I can sound
+The sentiments of our old gentleman
+About this marriage, which if not fought off,
+And cunningly, spoils me, or my poor master.
+I know not what to do; nor can resolve
+To help the son, or to obey the father.
+If I desert poor Pamphilus, alas!
+I tremble for his life; if I assist him,
+I dread his father's threats: a shrewd old Cuff,
+Not easily deceiv'd. For first of all,
+He knows of this amour; and watches me
+With jealous eyes, lest I devise some trick
+To break the match. If he discovers it,
+Woe to poor Davus! nay, if he's inclin'd
+To punish me, he'll seize on some pretense
+To throw me into prison, right or wrong.
+Another mischief is, this Andrian,
+Mistress or wife, 's with child by Pamphilus.
+And do but mark their confidence! 'tis sure
+The dotage of mad people, not of lovers.
+Whate'er she shall bring forth, they have resolv'd
+To educate: and have among themselves
+Devis'd the strangest story! that Glycerium
+Is an Athenian citizen. "There was
+Once on a time a certain merchant, shipwreck'd
+Upon the isle of Andros; there he died:
+And Chrysis' father took this orphan-wreck,
+Then but an infant, under his protection."
+Ridiculous! 'tis all romance to me:
+And yet the story pleases them. And see!
+Mysis comes forth. But I must to the Forum
+To look for Pamphilus, for fear his father
+Should find him first, and take him unawares.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    Another mischief is, this Andrian,
+    Mistress or wife, 's with child by Pamphilus.
+    And do but mark their confidence! 'tis sure
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Another mischief too, to make bad worse,
+    This Andrian, wife or mistress, is with child
+    By Pamphilus. And do but mark the height
+    Of their assurance! for 'tis certainly]
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Enter MYSIS._ (_Speaking to a servant within._)
+
+I hear, Archyllis; I hear what you say:
+You beg me to bring Lesbia. By my troth
+That Lesbia is a drunken wretch, hot-headed,
+Nor worthy to be trusted with a woman
+In her first labor. Well, well! she shall come.
+--Observe how earnest the old gossip is, (_Coming forward_)
+Because this Lesbia is her pot-companion.
+--Oh grant my mistress, Heav'n, a safe delivery,
+And let the midwife trespass any where
+Rather than here!--But what is it I see?
+Pamphilus all disorder'd: How I fear
+The cause! I'll wait a while, that I may know
+If this commotion means us any ill.
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _PAMPHILUS, MYSIS behind._
+
+PAM. Is this well done? or like a man?--Is this
+The action of a father?
+
+MYSIS. What's the matter?
+
+PAM. Oh all ye pow'rs of heav'n and earth, what's wrong
+If this is not so?--If he was determin'd
+That I to-day should marry, should I not
+Have had some previous notice?--ought not he
+To have inform'd me of it long ago?
+
+MYSIS. Alas! what's this I hear?
+
+PAM. And Chremes too,
+Who had refus'd to trust me with his daughter,
+Changes his mind, because I change not mine.
+Can he then be so obstinately bent
+To tear me from Glycerium? To lose her
+Is losing life.--Was ever man so cross'd,
+So curs'd as I?--Oh pow'rs of heav'n and earth!
+Can I by no means fly from this alliance
+With Chremes' family?--so oft contemn'd
+And held in scorn!--all done, concluded all!----
+Rejected, then recall'd:--and why?--unless,
+For so I must suspect, they breed some monster,
+Whom as they can obtrude on no one else,
+They bring to me.
+
+MYSIS. Alas, alas! this speech
+Has struck me almost dead with fear.
+
+PAM. And then
+My father!--what to say of him?--Oh shame!
+A thing of so much consequence to treat
+So negligently!--For but even now
+Passing me in the forum, "Pamphilus!
+To-day's your wedding-day, said he: prepare;
+Go, get you home!"--This sounded in my ears
+As if he said, "go, hang yourself!"--I stood
+Confounded. Think you I could speak one word?
+Or offer an excuse, how weak soe'er?
+No, I was dumb:--and had I been aware,
+Should any ask what I'd have done, I would,
+Rather than this, do any thing.--But now
+What to resolve upon?--So many cares
+Entangle me at once, and rend my mind,
+Pulling it diff'rent ways. My love, compassion,
+This urgent match, my rev'rence for my father,
+Who yet has ever been so gentle to me,
+And held so slack a rein upon my pleasures.
+--And I oppose him?--Racking thought!--Ah me!
+I know not what to do.
+
+MYSIS. Alas, I fear
+Where this uncertainty will end. 'Twere best
+He should confer with her; or I at least
+Speak touching her to him. For while the mind
+Hangs in suspense, a trifle turns the scale.
+
+PAM. Who's there? what, Mysis! Save you!
+
+MYSIS. Save you! Sir. (_Coming forward._)
+
+PAM. How does she?
+
+MYSIS. How! oppress'd with wretchedness.
+To-day supremely wretched, as to-day
+Was formerly appointed for your wedding.
+And then she fears lest you desert her.
+
+PAM. I!
+Desert her? Can I think on't? or deceive
+A wretched maid! who trusted to my care
+Her life and honor. Her whom I have held
+Near to my heart, and cherish'd as my wife?
+Or leave her modest and well nurtur'd mind
+Through want to be corrupted? Never, never.
+
+MYSIS. No doubt, did it depend on you alone;
+But if constrain'd----
+
+PAM. D'ye think me then so vile?
+Or so ungrateful, so inhuman, savage,
+Neither long intercourse, nor love, nor shame,
+Can make me keep my faith?
+
+MYSIS. I only know
+That she deserves you should remember her.
+
+PAM. I should remember her? Oh, Mysis, Mysis!
+The words of Chrysis touching my Glycerium
+Are written in my heart. On her death-bed
+She call'd me. I approach'd her. You retir'd.
+We were alone; and Chrysis thus began:
+"My Pamphilus, you see the youth and beauty
+Of this unhappy maid: and well you know,
+These are but feeble guardians to preserve
+Her fortune or her fame. By this right hand
+I do beseech you, by your better angel,
+By your tried faith, by her forlorn condition,
+I do conjure you, put her not away,
+Nor leave her to distress. If I have ever,
+As my own brother, lov'd you; or if she
+Has ever held you dear 'bove all the world,
+And ever shown obedience to your will----
+I do bequeath you to her as a husband,
+Friend, Guardian, Father: all our little wealth
+To you I leave, and trust it to your care."----
+She join'd our hands, and died.--I did receive her,
+And once receiv'd will keep her.
+
+MYSIS. So we trust.
+
+PAM. What make you from her?
+
+MYSIS. Going for a midwife.
+
+PAM. Haste then! and hark, be sure take special heed,
+You mention not a word about the marriage,
+Lest this too give her pain.
+
+MYSIS. I understand.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _All quotation marks in this Scene are supplied from the
+  1768 edition._
+
+  _Harper_
+    Can make me keep my faith?
+    MYSIS. I only know
+    That she deserves you should remember her.
+    PAM. I should remember her? Oh, Mysis, Mysis!
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Can move my soul, or make me keep my faith?
+    MYSIS. I only know, my mistress well deserves
+    You should remember her.
+    PAM. Remember her?
+    Oh Mysis, Mysis! even at this hour,]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE SECOND.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _CHARINUS, BYRRHIA._
+
+CHAR. How, Byrrhia? Is she to be married, say you,
+To Pamphilus to-day?
+
+BYR. 'Tis even so.
+
+CHAR. How do you know?
+
+BYR. I had it even now
+From Davus at the Forum.
+
+CHAR. Woe is me!
+Then I'm a wretch indeed: till now my mind
+Floated 'twixt hope and fear: now, hope remov'd,
+Stunn'd, and o'erwhelm'd, it sinks beneath its cares.
+
+BYR. Nay, prithee master, since the thing you wish
+Can not be had, e'en wish for that which may!
+
+CHAR. I wish for nothing but Philumena.
+
+BYR. Ah, how much wiser were it, that you strove
+To quench this passion, than, with words like these
+To fan the fire, and blow it to a flame?
+
+CHAR. How readily do men at ease prescribe
+To those who're sick at heart! distress'd like me,
+You would not talk thus.
+
+BYR. Well, well, as you please.
+
+CHAR. Ha! I see Pamphilus. I can resolve
+On any thing, e'er give up all for lost.
+
+BYR. What now?
+
+CHAR. I will entreat him, beg, beseech him,
+Tell him our course of love, and thus, perhaps,
+At least prevail upon him to defer
+His marriage some few days: meanwhile, I hope,
+Something may happen.
+
+BYR. Aye, that something's nothing.
+
+CHAR. Byrrhia, what think you? Shall I speak to him?
+
+BYR. Why not? for though you don't obtain your suit,
+He will at least imagine you're prepar'd
+To cuckold him, in case he marries her.
+
+CHAR. Away, you hang-dog, with your base suspicions!
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter PAMPHILUS._
+
+PAM. Charinus, save you!
+
+CHAR. Save you, Pamphilus!
+Imploring comfort, safety, help, and counsel,
+You see me now before you.
+
+PAM. I do lack
+Myself both help and counsel--But what mean you?
+
+CHAR. Is this your wedding-day?
+
+PAM. Aye, so they say.
+
+CHAR. Ah, Pamphilus, if so, this day
+You see the last of me.
+
+PAM. How so?
+
+CHAR. Ah me!
+I dare not speak it: prithee tell him, Byrrhia.
+
+BYR. Aye, that I will.
+
+PAM. What is't?
+
+BYR. He is in love
+With your bride, Sir.
+
+PAM. I' faith so am not I.
+Tell me, Charinus, has aught further passed
+'Twixt you and her?
+
+CHAR. Ah, no, no.
+
+PAM. Would there had!
+
+CHAR. Now by our friendship, by my love I beg
+You would not marry her.----
+
+PAM. I will endeavor.
+
+CHAR. If that's impossible, or if this match
+Be grateful to your heart----
+
+PAM. My heart!
+
+CHAR. At least
+Defer it some few days; while I depart,
+That I may not behold it.
+
+PAM. Hear, Charinus;
+It is, I think, scarce honesty in him
+To look for thanks, who means no favor. I
+Abhor this marriage, more than you desire it.
+
+CHAR. You have reviv'd me.
+
+PAM. Now if you, or he,
+Your Byrrhia here, can do or think of aught;
+Act, plot, devise, invent, strive all you can
+To make her yours; and I'll do all I can
+That she may not be mine.
+
+CHAR. Enough.
+
+PAM. I see
+Davus, and in good time: for he'll advise
+What's best to do.
+
+CHAR. But you, you sorry rogue, (_To BYRRHIA_)
+Can give me no advice, nor tell me aught,
+But what it is impertinent to know.
+Hence, Sirrah, get you gone!
+
+BYR. With all my heart. (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    PAM. I do lack
+    Myself both help and counsel--But what mean you?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PAM. Help, and counsel!
+    I can afford you neither.--But what mean you?]
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Enter DAVUS hastily._
+
+DAVUS. Good Heav'ns, what news I bring! what joyful news!
+But where shall I find Pamphilus, to drive
+His fears away, and make him full of joy?
+
+CHAR. There's something pleases him.
+
+PAM. No matter what.
+He has not heard of our ill fortune yet.
+
+DAVUS. And he, I warrant, if he has been told
+Of his intended wedding----
+
+CHAR. Do you hear?
+
+DAVUS. Poor soul, is running all about the town
+In quest of me. But whither shall I go?
+Or which way run?
+
+CHAR. Why don't you speak to him?
+
+DAVUS. I'll go.
+
+PAM. Ho! Davus! Stop, come here!
+
+DAVUS. Who calls?
+O, Pamphilus! the very man.--Heyday!
+Charinus too!--Both gentlemen, well met!
+I've news for both.
+
+PAM. I'm ruin'd, Davus.
+
+DAVUS. Hear me!
+
+PAM. Undone!
+
+DAVUS. I know your fears.
+
+CHAR. My life's at stake.
+
+DAVUS. Yours I know also.
+
+PAM. Matrimony mine.
+
+DAVUS. I know it.
+
+PAM. But to-day.
+
+DAVUS. You stun me; plague!
+I tell you I know ev'ry thing: you fear (_To CHARINUS._)
+You should _not_ marry her.--You fear you _should._ (_To PAM._)
+
+CHAR. The very thing.
+
+PAM. The same.
+
+DAVUS. And yet that _same_
+Is nothing. Mark!
+
+PAM. Nay, rid me of my fear.
+
+DAVUS. I will then. Chremes
+Won't give his daughter to you.
+
+PAM. How d'ye know?
+
+DAVUS. I'm sure of it. Your Father but just now
+Takes me aside, and tells me 'twas his will
+That you should wed to-day; with much beside,
+Which now I have not leisure to repeat.
+I, on the instant, hastening to find you,
+Run to the Forum to inform you of it:
+There, failing, climb an eminence, look round:
+No Pamphilus: I light by chance on Byrrhia;
+Inquire; he hadn't seen you. Vex'd at heart,
+_What's to be done?_ thought I. Returning thence
+A doubt arose within me. Ha! bad cheer,
+The old man melancholy, and a wedding
+Clapp'd up so suddenly! This don't agree.
+
+PAM. Well, what then?
+
+DAVUS. I betook me instantly
+To Chremes' house; but thither when I came,
+Before the door all hush. This tickled me.
+
+PAM. You're in the right. Proceed.
+
+DAVUS. I watch'd a while:
+Meantime no soul went in, no soul came out;
+No matron; in the house no ornament;
+No note of preparation. I approach'd,
+Look'd in----
+
+PAM. I understand: a potent sign!
+
+DAVUS. Does this seem like a nuptial?
+
+PAM. I think not,
+Davus.
+
+DAVUS. _Think not_, d'ye say? you don't conceive:
+The thing is evident. I met beside,
+As I departed thence, with Chremes' boy,
+Bearing some pot-herbs, and a pennyworth
+Of little fishes for the old man's dinner.
+
+CHAR. I am deliver'd, Davus, by your means,
+From all my apprehensions of to-day.
+
+DAVUS. And yet you are undone.
+
+CHAR. How so? Since Chremes
+Will not consent to give Philumena
+To Pamphilus.
+
+DAVUS. Ridiculous! As if,
+Because the daughter is denied to him,
+She must of course wed you. Look to it well;
+Court the old Gentleman through friends, apply,
+Or else----
+
+CHAR. You're right: I will about it straight,
+Although that hope has often fail'd. Farewell. (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    DAVUS. I will then. Chremes
+    Won't give his daughter to you.
+    PAM. How d'ye know?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    DAVUS. I will then. Chremes don't intend his daughter
+    Shall marry you to-day.
+    PAM. No! How d'ye know?]
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _PAMPHILUS. DAVUS._
+
+PAM. What means my father then? Why counterfeit?
+
+DAVUS. That I'll explain. If he were angry now,
+Merely that Chremes has refus'd his daughter,
+He'd think himself in fault; and justly too,
+Before the bias of your mind is known.
+But granting you refuse her for a wife,
+Then all the blame devolves on you, and then
+Comes all the storm.
+
+PAM. What course then shall I take?
+Shall I submit----
+
+DAVUS. He is your Father, Sir,
+Whom to oppose were difficult; and then
+Glycerium's a lone woman; and he'll find
+Some course, no matter what, to drive her hence.
+
+PAM. To drive her hence?
+
+DAVUS. Directly.
+
+PAM. Tell me then,
+Oh tell me, Davus, what were best to do?
+
+DAVUS. Say that you'll marry!
+
+PAM. How!
+
+DAVUS. And where's the harm?
+
+PAM. Say that I'll marry!
+
+DAVUS. Why not?
+
+PAM. Never, never.
+
+DAVUS. Do not refuse!
+
+PAM. Persuade not!
+
+DAVUS. Do but mark
+The consequence.
+
+PAM. Divorcement from Glycerium.
+And marriage with the other.
+
+DAVUS. No such thing.
+Your father, I suppose, accosts you thus.
+_I'd have you wed to-day_;--_I will_, quoth you:
+What reason has he to reproach you then?
+Thus shall you baffle all his settled schemes,
+And put him to confusion; all the while
+Secure yourself: for 'tis beyond a doubt
+That Chremes will refuse his daughter to you;
+So obstinately too, you need not pause,
+Or change these measures, lest he change his mind;
+Say to your father then, that you will wed,
+That, with the will, he may want cause to chide.
+But if, deluded by fond hopes, you cry,
+"No one will wed their daughter to a rake,
+A libertine."--Alas, you're much deceiv'd.
+For know, your father will redeem some wretch
+From rags and beggary to be your wife,
+Rather than see your ruin with Glycerium.
+But if he thinks you bear an easy mind,
+He too will grow indiff'rent, and seek out
+Another match at leisure; the mean while
+Affairs may take a lucky turn.
+
+PAM. D'ye think so?
+
+DAVUS. Beyond all doubt.
+
+PAM. See, what you lead me to.
+
+DAVUS. Nay, peace!
+
+PAM. I'll say so then. But have a care
+He knows not of the child, which I've agreed
+To educate.
+
+DAVUS. O confidence!
+
+PAM. She drew
+This promise from me, as a firm assurance
+That I would not forsake her.
+
+DAVUS. We'll take care.
+But here's your father: let him not perceive
+You're melancholy.
+
+ [Changes:
+
+  _The initial character names "PAMPHILUS. DAVUS." are supplied
+  from the 1768 edition._]
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _Enter SIMO at a distance._
+
+SIMO. I return to see
+What they're about, or what they meditate.
+
+DAVUS. Now is he sure that you'll refuse to wed.
+From some dark corner brooding o'er black thoughts
+He comes, and fancies he has fram'd a speech
+To disconcert you. See, you keep your ground.
+
+PAM. If I can, Davus.
+
+DAVUS. Trust me, Pamphilus,
+Your father will not change a single word
+In anger with you, do but say you'll wed.
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _Enter BYRRHIA behind._
+
+BYR. To-day my master bade me leave all else
+For Pamphilus, and watch how he proceeds,
+About his marriage; wherefore I have now
+Followed the old man hither: yonder too
+Stands Pamphilus himself, and with him Davus.
+To business then!
+
+SIMO. I see them both together.
+
+DAVUS. Now mind. (_Apart to PAM._)
+
+SIMO. Here, Pamphilus!
+
+DAVUS. Now turn about,
+As taken unawares. (_Apart._)
+
+PAM. Who calls? my father!
+
+DAVUS. Well said! (_Apart._)
+
+SIMO. It is my pleasure, that to-day,
+As I have told you once before, you marry.
+
+DAVUS. Now on our part, I fear what he'll reply. (_Aside._)
+
+PAM. In that, and all the rest of your commands,
+I shall be ready to obey you, Sir!
+
+BYR. How's that! (_Overhearing._)
+
+DAVUS. Struck dumb. (_Aside._)
+
+BYR. What said he? (_Listening._)
+
+SIMO. You perform
+Your duty, when you cheerfully comply
+With my desires.
+
+DAVUS. There! said I not the truth? (_Apart to PAM._)
+
+BYR. My master then, so far as I can find,
+May whistle for a wife.
+
+SIMO. Now then go in
+That when you're wanted you be found.
+
+PAM. I go. (_Exit._
+
+BYR. Is there no faith in the affairs of men?
+'Tis an old saying and a true one too;
+"Of all mankind each loves himself the best."
+I've seen the lady; know her beautiful;
+And therefore sooner pardon Pamphilus,
+If he had rather win her to his arms,
+Than yield her to th' embraces of my master.
+I will go bear these tidings, and receive
+Much evil treatment for my evil news. (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _lines taken from 1768 edition_
+    PAM. Who calls? my father!
+    DAVUS. Well said!
+    SIMO. It is my pleasure ...
+  _as printed in Harper edition_
+    PAM. Who calls? my father!
+    SIMO. It is my pleasure ...]
+
+
+SCENE VII.
+
+  _Manent SIMO and DAVUS._
+
+DAVUS. Now he supposes I've some trick in hand,
+And loiter here to practice it on him!
+
+SIMO. Well, what now, Davus?
+
+DAVUS. Nothing.
+
+SIMO. Nothing, say you?
+
+DAVUS. Nothing at all.
+
+SIMO. And yet I look'd for something.
+
+DAVUS. So, I perceive, you did:--This nettles him. (_Aside._)
+
+SIMO. Can you speak truth?
+
+DAVUS. Most easily.
+
+SIMO. Say then,
+Is not this wedding irksome to my son,
+From his adventure with the Andrian?
+
+DAVUS. No faith; or if at all, 'twill only be
+Two or three days' anxiety, you know;
+Then 'twill be over: for he sees the thing
+In its true light.
+
+SIMO. I praise him for't.
+
+DAVUS. While you
+Restrain'd him not; and while his youth allow'd
+'Tis true he lov'd; and even then by stealth,
+As wise men ought, and careful of his fame.
+Now his age calls for matrimony, now
+To matrimony he inclines his mind.
+
+SIMO. Yet, in my eyes, he seem'd a little sad.
+
+DAVUS. Not upon that account. He has he thinks
+Another reason to complain of you.
+
+SIMO. For what?
+
+DAVUS. A trifle.
+
+SIMO. Well, what is't?
+
+DAVUS. Nay, nothing.
+
+SIMO. Tell me, what is't?
+
+DAVUS. You are then, he complains,
+Somewhat too sparing of expense.
+
+SIMO. I?
+
+DAVUS. You.
+A feast of scarce ten Drachms? Does this, says he,
+Look like a wedding-supper for his son?
+What friends can I invite? especially
+At such a time as this?--and, truly, Sir,
+You have been very frugal; much too sparing.
+I can't commend you for it.
+
+SIMO. Hold your peace.
+
+DAVUS. I've ruffled him. (_Aside._)
+
+SIMO. I'll look to that. Away! (_Exit DAVUS._
+What now? What means the varlet? Precious rogue,
+For if there's any knavery on foot,
+He, I am sure, is the contriver on't. (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    'Tis true he lov'd; and even then by stealth
+  _Colman 1768_
+    'Tis true he lov'd; but even then by stealth]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE THIRD.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _SIMO, DAVUS, coming out of SIMO'S house.--MYSIS, LESBIA, going
+  toward the house of GLYCERIUM._
+
+MYSIS. Aye, marry, 'tis as you say, Lesbia:
+Women scarce ever find a constant man.
+
+SIMO. The Andrian's maid-servant! Is't not?
+
+DAVUS. Aye.
+
+MYSIS. But Pamphilus----
+
+SIMO. What says she? (_Overhearing._)
+
+MYSIS. Has been true.
+
+SIMO. How's that? (_Overhearing._)
+
+DAVUS. Would he were deaf, or she were dumb! (_Aside._)
+
+MYSIS. For the child, boy, or girl, he has resolv'd
+To educate.
+
+SIMO. O Jupiter! what's this
+I hear? If this be true, I'm lost indeed.
+
+LESBIA. A good young Gentleman!
+
+MYSIS. Oh, very good.
+But in, in, lest you make her wait.
+
+LESBIA. I follow. (_Exeunt MYSIS and LESBIA._
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Manent SIMO, DAVUS._
+
+DAVUS. Unfortunate! What remedy! (_Aside._)
+
+SIMO. How's this? (_To himself._)
+And can he be so mad? What! educate
+A harlot's child!--Ah, now I know their drift:
+Fool that I was, scarce smelt it out at last.
+
+DAVUS (_listening_). What's this he says he has smelt out?
+
+SIMO. Imprimis, (_To himself._)
+'Tis this rogue's trick upon me. All a sham:
+A counterfeit deliv'ry, and mock labor,
+Devis'd to frighten Chremes from the match.
+
+GLY. (_within_). Juno Lucina, save me! Help, I pray thee.
+
+SIMO. Heyday! Already! Oh ridiculous!
+Soon as she heard that I was at the door
+She hastens to cry out: your incidents
+Are ill-tim'd, Davus.
+
+DAVUS. Mine, Sir?
+
+SIMO. Are your players
+Unmindful of their cues, and want a prompter?
+
+DAVUS. I do not comprehend you.
+
+SIMO (_apart._) If this knave
+Had, in the real nuptial of my son,
+Come thus upon me unprepar'd, what sport,
+What scorn he'd have exposed me to? But now
+At his own peril be it. I'm secure.
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Re-enter LESBIA.--ARCHYLLIS appears at the door._
+
+LESBIA _to ARCHYLLIS (within)_. As yet, Archyllis, all the symptoms seem
+As good as might be wish'd in her condition:
+First, let her make ablution: after that,
+Drink what I've order'd her, and just so much:
+And presently I will be here again. (_Coming forward._)
+Now, by this good day, Master Pamphilus
+Has got a chopping boy: Heav'n grant it live!
+For he's a worthy Gentleman, and scorn'd
+To do a wrong to this young innocent. (_Exit._
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+SIMO. This too where's he that knows you would not swear
+Was your contrivance?
+
+DAVUS. My contrivance! what, Sir?
+
+SIMO. While in the house, forsooth, the midwife gave
+No orders for the Lady in the straw:
+But having issued forth into the street,
+Bawls out most lustily to those within.
+--Oh Davus, am I then so much your scorn?
+Seem I so proper to be play'd upon,
+With such a shallow, barefac'd, imposition?
+You might at least, in reverence, have us'd
+Some spice of art, wer't only to pretend
+You fear'd my anger, should I find you out.
+
+DAVUS. I' faith now he deceives himself, not I. (_Aside._)
+
+SIMO. Did not I give you warning? threaten too,
+In case you play'd me false? But all in vain:
+For what car'd you?--What! think you I believe
+This story of a child by Pamphilus?
+
+DAVUS. I see his error: Now I know my game. (_Aside._)
+
+SIMO. Why don't you answer?
+
+DAVUS. What! you don't believe it!
+As if you had not been informed of this? (_Archly._)
+
+SIMO. I been inform'd?
+
+DAVUS. What then you found it out? (_Archly._)
+
+SIMO. D'ye laugh at me?
+
+DAVUS. You must have been inform'd:
+Or whence this shrewd suspicion?
+
+SIMO. Whence! from you:
+Because I know you.
+
+DAVUS. Meaning, this was done
+By my advice?
+
+SIMO. Beyond all doubt; I know it:
+
+DAVUS. You do not know me, Simo.----
+
+SIMO. I not know you?
+
+DAVUS. For if I do but speak, immediately
+You think yourself impos'd on.----
+
+SIMO. Falsely, hey?
+
+DAVUS. So that I dare not ope my lips before you.
+
+SIMO. All that I know is this; that nobody
+Has been deliver'd here.
+
+DAVUS. You've found it out?
+Yet by-and-by they'll bring the bantling here,
+And lay it at our door. Remember, Sir,
+I give you warning that will be the case;
+That you may stand prepar'd, nor after say,
+'Twas done by Davus's advice, his tricks!
+I would fain cure your ill opinion of me.
+
+SIMO. But how d'ye know?
+
+DAVUS. I've heard so, and believe so.
+Besides a thousand things concur to lead
+To this conjecture. In the first place, she
+Profess'd herself with child by Pamphilus:
+That proves a falsehood. Now that she perceives
+A nuptial preparation at our house,
+A maid's dispatch'd immediately to bring
+A midwife to her, and withal a child;
+You too they will contrive shall see the child,
+Or else the wedding must proceed.
+
+SIMO. How's this?
+Having discover'd such a plot on foot,
+Why did you not directly tell my son?
+
+DAVUS. Who then has drawn him from her but myself?
+For we all know how much he doted on her:
+But now he wishes for a wife. In fine,
+Leave that affair to me; and you meanwhile
+Pursue, as you've begun, the nuptials; which
+The Gods, I hope, will prosper!
+
+SIMO. Get you in.
+Wait for me there, and see that you prepare
+What's requisite. (_Exit DAVUS._
+He has not wrought upon me
+To yield implicit credit to his tale,
+Nor do I know if all he said be true.
+But, true or false, it matters not: to me
+My Son's own promise is the main concern.
+Now to meet Chremes, and to beg his daughter
+In marriage with my son. If I succeed,
+What can I rather wish, than to behold
+Their marriage-rites to-day? For since my son
+Has given me his word, I've not a doubt,
+Should he refuse, but I may force him to it:
+And to my wishes see where Chremes comes.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _The initial direction "_Manent SIMO, DAVUS._" is supplied
+  from the 1768 edition._
+
+  _Harper_
+    SIMO. I been inform'd?
+    DAVUS. What then you found it out?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    SIMO. Inform'd?
+    DAVUS. What then you found it out yourself?
+
+  _Harper_
+    DAVUS. I've heard so, and believe so.
+    Besides a thousand things concur to lead
+    To this conjecture. In the first place, she
+    Profess'd herself with child by Pamphilus:
+    That proves a falsehood. Now that she perceives
+    A nuptial preparation at our house,
+    A maid's dispatch'd immediately to bring
+  _Colman 1768_
+    DAVUS. I've heard so, and believe so.
+    Besides a thousand different things concur
+    To lead to this conjecture. First, Glycerium
+    Profess'd herself with child by Pamphilus:
+    That proves a falsehood. Now as she perceives
+    A nuptial preparation at our house,
+    A maid's immediately dispatch'd to bring]
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _Enter CHREMES._
+
+SIMO. Chremes, good-day!
+
+CHREMES. The very man I look'd for.
+
+SIMO. And I for you.
+
+CHREMES. Well met.--Some persons came
+To tell me you inform'd them, that my daughter
+Was to be married to your son to-day:
+And therefore came I here, and fain would know
+Whether 'tis you or they have lost their wits.
+
+SIMO. A moment's hearing; you shall be inform'd,
+What I request, and what you wish to know.
+
+CHREMES. I hear: what would you? speak.
+
+SIMO. Now by the Gods;
+Now by our friendship, Chremes, which begun
+In infancy, has still increas'd with age;
+Now by your only daughter, and my son,
+Whose preservation wholly rests on you;
+Let me entreat this boon: and let the match
+Which should have been, still be.
+
+CHREMES. Why, why entreat?
+Knowing you ought not to beseech this of me.
+Think you that I am other than I was,
+When first I gave my promise? If the match
+Be good for both, e'en call them forth to wed.
+But if their union promises more harm
+Than good to both, you also, I beseech you,
+Consult our common interest, as if
+You were her father, Pamphilus my son.
+
+SIMO. E'en in that spirit, I desire it, Chremes,
+Entreat it may be done; nor would entreat,
+But that occasion urges.
+
+CHREMES. What occasion?
+
+SIMO. A diff'rence 'twixt Glycerium and my son.
+
+CHREMES. I hear. (_Ironically._)
+
+SIMO. A breach so wide as gives me hopes
+To sep'rate them forever.
+
+CHREMES. Idle tales!
+
+SIMO. Indeed 'tis thus.
+
+CHREMES. Aye marry, thus it is.
+Quarrels of lovers but renew their love.
+
+SIMO. Prevent we then, I pray, this mischief now;
+While time permits, while yet his passion's sore
+From contumelies; ere these women's wiles,
+Their wicked arts, and tears made up of fraud
+Shake his weak mind, and melt it to compassion.
+Give him a wife: by intercourse with her,
+Knit by the bonds of wedlock, soon I hope,
+He'll rise above the guilt that sinks him now.
+
+CHREMES. So you believe: for me, I can not think
+That he'll be constant, or that I can bear it.
+
+SIMO. How can you know, unless you make the trial?
+
+CHREMES. Aye, but to make that trial on a daughter
+Is hard indeed.
+
+SIMO. The mischief, should he fail,
+Is only this: divorce, which Heav'n forbid!
+But mark what benefits if he amend!
+First, to your friend you will restore a son;
+Gain to yourself a son-in-law, and match
+Your daughter to an honest husband.
+
+CHREMES. Well!
+Since you're so thoroughly convinc'd 'tis right,
+I can deny you naught that lies in me.
+
+SIMO. I see I ever lov'd you justly, Chremes.
+
+CHREMES. But then----
+
+SIMO. But what?
+
+CHREMES. Whence is't you know
+That there's a difference between them?
+
+SIMO. Davus,
+Davus, in all their secrets, told me so;
+Advis'd me too, to hasten on the match
+As fast as possible. Would he, d'ye think,
+Do that, unless he were full well assur'd
+My son desir'd it too?--Hear, what he says.
+Ho there! call Davus forth.--But here he comes.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    CHREMES. Whence is't you know
+  _Colman 1768_
+    CHREMES. From whence are you appriz'd]
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _Enter DAVUS._
+
+DAVUS. I was about to seek you.
+
+SIMO. What's the matter?
+
+DAVUS. Why is not the bride sent for? it grows late.
+
+SIMO. D'ye hear him?--Davus, I for some time past
+Was fearful of you; lest, like other slaves,
+As slaves go now, you should put tricks upon me,
+And baffle me, to favor my son's love.
+
+DAVUS. I, Sir?
+
+SIMO. I thought so: and in fear of that
+Conceal'd a secret which I'll now disclose.
+
+DAVUS. What secret, Sir?
+
+SIMO. I'll tell you: for I now
+Almost begin to think you may be trusted.
+
+DAVUS. You've found what sort of man I am at last.
+
+SIMO. No marriage was intended.
+
+DAVUS. How! none!
+
+SIMO. None.
+All counterfeit, to sound my son and you.
+
+DAVUS. How say you?
+
+SIMO. Even so.
+
+DAVUS. Alack, alack!
+I never could have thought it. Ah, what art! (_Archly._)
+
+SIMO. Hear me. No sooner had I sent you in.
+But opportunely I encountered Chremes.
+
+DAVUS. How! are we ruin'd then? (_Aside._)
+
+SIMO. I told him all.
+That you had just told me,----
+
+DAVUS. Confusion! how? (_Aside._)
+
+SIMO. Begged him to grant his daughter, and at length
+With much ado prevail'd.
+
+DAVUS. Undone! (_Aside._)
+
+SIMO. How's that? (_Overhearing._)
+
+DAVUS. Well done! I said.
+
+SIMO. My good friend Chremes then
+Is now no obstacle.
+
+CHREMES. I'll home a while,
+Order due preparations, and return. (_Exit._
+
+SIMO. Prithee, now, Davus, seeing you alone
+Have brought about this match----
+
+DAVUS. Yes, I alone.
+
+SIMO. Endeavor farther to amend my son.
+
+DAVUS. Most diligently.
+
+SIMO. It were easy now,
+While his mind's irritated.
+
+DAVUS. Be at peace.
+
+SIMO. Do then: where is he?
+
+DAVUS. Probably at home.
+
+SIMO. I'll in, and tell him, what I've now told you. (_Exit._
+
+
+SCENE VII.
+
+  _DAVUS alone._
+
+Lost and undone! To prison with me straight!
+No prayer, no plea: for I have ruin'd all!
+Deceiv'd the old man, hamper'd Pamphilus
+With marriage; marriage, brought about to-day
+By my sole means; beyond the hopes of one;
+Against the other's will.----Oh, cunning fool!
+Had I been quiet, all had yet been well.
+But see, he's coming. Would my neck were broken! (_Retires._)
+
+
+SCENE VIII.
+
+  _Enter PAMPHILUS; DAVUS behind._
+
+PAM. Where is this villain that has ruined me?
+
+DAVUS. I'm a lost man.
+
+PAM. And yet I must confess,
+That I deserv'd this, being such a dolt,
+A very idiot, to commit my fortunes
+To a vile slave. I suffer for my folly,
+But will at least take vengeance on him.
+
+DAVUS. If I can but escape this mischief now,
+I'll answer for hereafter.
+
+PAM. To my father
+What shall I say?--And can I then refuse,
+Who have but now consented? with what face?
+I know not what to do.
+
+DAVUS. I'faith, nor I;
+And yet it takes up all my thoughts. I'll tell him
+I've hit on something to delay the match.
+
+PAM. Oh! (_Seeing DAVUS._)
+
+DAVUS. I am seen.
+
+PAM. So, good Sir! What say you?
+See, how I'm hamper'd with your fine advice.
+
+DAVUS (_coming forward_). But I'll deliver you.
+
+PAM. Deliver me?
+
+DAVUS. Certainly, Sir.
+
+PAM. What, as you did just now?
+
+DAVUS. Better, I hope.
+
+PAM. And can you then believe
+That I would trust you, rascal? You amend
+My broken fortunes, or redeem them lost?
+You, who to-day, from the most happy state,
+Have thrown me upon marriage.--Did not I
+Foretell it would be thus?
+
+DAVUS. You did indeed.
+
+PAM. And what do you deserve for this?
+
+DAVUS. The gallows.
+--Yet suffer me to take a little breath,
+I'll devise something presently.
+
+PAM. Alas,
+I have not leisure for your punishment.
+The time demands attention to myself,
+Nor will be wasted in revenge on you.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    But will at least take vengeance on him.
+    DAVUS. If I can but escape this mischief now
+  _Colman 1768_
+    But will at least take vengeance upon him.
+    DAVUS. Let me but once escape the present danger]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FOURTH.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _CHARINUS alone._
+
+Is this to be believ'd, or to be told?
+Can then such inbred malice live in man,
+To joy in ill, and from another's woes
+To draw his own delight?--Ah, is't then so?
+--Yes, such there are, the meanest of mankind,
+Who, from a sneaking bashfulness, at first
+Dare not refuse; but when the time comes on
+To make their promise good, then force perforce
+Open themselves and fear: yet must deny.
+Then too, oh shameless impudence, they cry,
+"Who then are you? and what are you to me?
+Why should I render up my love to you?
+Faith, neighbor, charity begins at home."
+--Speak of their broken faith, they blush not, they,
+Now throwing off that shame they ought to wear,
+Which they before assum'd without a cause.
+--What shall I do? go to him? on my wrongs
+Expostulate, and throw reproaches on him?
+What will that profit, say you?----very much.
+I shall at least imbitter his delight,
+And gratify my anger.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+    To make their promise good, then force perforce
+  _Harper edition has "per force"_]
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _To him PAMPHILUS and DAVUS._
+
+PAM. Oh, Charinus,
+By my imprudence, unless Heav'n forefend,
+I've ruin'd both myself and you.
+
+CHAR. Imprudence!
+Paltry evasion! you have broke your faith.
+
+PAM. What now?
+
+CHAR. And do you think that words like these
+Can baffle me again?
+
+PAM. What means all this?
+
+CHAR. Soon as I told you of my passion for her,
+Then she had charms for you.----Ah, senseless fool,
+To judge your disposition by my own!
+
+PAM. You are mistaken.
+
+CHAR. Was your joy no joy,
+Without abusing a fond lover's mind,
+Fool'd on with idle hopes?--Well, take her.
+
+PAM. Take her?
+Alas, you know not what a wretch I am:
+How many cares this slave has brought upon me,
+My rascal here.
+
+CHAR. No wonder if he takes
+Example from his master.
+
+PAM. Ah, you know not
+Me, or my love, or else you would not talk thus.
+
+CHAR. Oh yes, I know it all. You had but now
+A dreadful altercation with your father:
+And therefore he's enrag'd, nor could prevail
+On you, forsooth, to wed. (_Ironically._)
+
+PAM. To show you then,
+How little you conceive of my distress,
+These nuptials were mere semblance, mock'ry all,
+Nor was a wife intended me.
+
+CHAR. I know it:
+You are constrain'd, poor man, by inclination.
+
+PAM. Nay, but have patience! you don't know----
+
+CHAR. I know
+That you're to marry her.
+
+PAM. Why rack me thus?
+Nay hear! he never ceas'd to importune
+That I would tell my father, I would wed;
+So press'd, and urg'd, that he at length prevail'd.
+
+CHAR. Who did this?
+
+PAM. Davus.
+
+CHAR. Davus!
+
+PAM. Davus all.
+
+CHAR. Wherefore?
+
+PAM. I know not: but I know the Gods
+Meant in their anger I should listen to him.
+
+CHAR. Is it so, Davus?
+
+DAVUS. Even so.
+
+CHAR. How, villain?
+The Gods confound you for it!--Tell me, wretch
+Had all his most inveterate foes desir'd
+To throw him on this marriage, what advice
+Could they have given else?
+
+DAVUS. I am deceiv'd,
+But not dishearten'd.
+
+CHAR. True. (_Ironically._)
+
+DAVUS. This way has fail'd;
+We'll try another way: unless you think
+Because the business has gone ill at first,
+We can not graft advantage on misfortune.
+
+PAM. Oh aye, I warrant you, if you look to 't,
+Out of one wedding you can work me two.
+
+DAVUS. Pamphilus, 'tis my duty, as your slave,
+To strive with might and main, by day and night
+With hazard of my life, to do you service:
+'Tis yours, if I am cross'd, to pardon me.
+My undertakings fail indeed, but then
+I spare no pains. Do better, if you can,
+And send me packing.
+
+PAM. Aye, with all my heart:
+Place me but where you found me first.
+
+DAVUS. I will.
+
+PAM. But do it instantly.
+
+DAVUS. Hist! hold a while:
+I hear the creaking of Glycerium's door.
+
+PAM. Nothing to you.
+
+DAVUS. I'm thinking.
+
+PAM. What, at last?
+
+DAVUS. Your business shall be done, and presently.
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Enter MYSIS._
+
+MYSIS _to GLYCERIUM (within)_. Be where he will, I'll find your
+    Pamphilus,
+And bring him with me. Meanwhile, you, my soul,
+Forbear to vex yourself.
+
+PAM. Mysis!
+
+MYSIS. Who's there?
+Oh Pamphilus, well met, Sir!
+
+PAM. What's the matter?
+
+MYSIS. My mistress, by the love you bear her, begs
+Your presence instantly. She longs to see you.
+
+PAM. Ah, I'm undone: This sore breaks out afresh.
+Unhappy that we are, through your curs'd means,
+To be tormented thus. (_To DAVUS._)--She has been told
+A nuptial is prepar'd and therefore sends.
+
+CHAR. From which how safe you were, had he been quiet! (_Pointing to
+    DAVUS._)
+
+DAVUS. Aye, if he raves not of himself enough,
+Do, irritate him. (_To CHARINUS._)
+
+MYSIS. Truly that's the cause;
+And therefore 'tis, poor soul, she sorrows thus.
+
+PAM. Mysis, I swear to thee by all the Gods,
+I never will desert her: though assur'd
+That I for her make all mankind my foes.
+I sought her, carried her: our hearts are one,
+And farewell they that wish us put asunder!
+Death, naught but death shall part us.
+
+MYSIS. I revive.
+
+PAM. Apollo's oracles are not more true.
+If that my father may be wrought upon,
+To think I hinder'd not the match, 'tis well:
+But if that can not be, come what come may,
+Why let him know, 'twas I--What think you now? (_To CHARINUS._)
+
+CHAR. That we are wretches both.
+
+DAVUS. My brain 's at work.
+
+CHAR. O brave!
+
+PAM. I know what you'd attempt.
+
+DAVUS. Well, well!
+I will effect it for you.
+
+PAM. Aye, but now.
+
+DAVUS. E'en now.
+
+CHAR. What is't?
+
+DAVUS. For him, Sir, not for you.
+Be not mistaken.
+
+CHAR. I am satisfied.
+
+PAM. Say, what do you propose?
+
+DAVUS. This day, I fear,
+Is scarce sufficient for the execution,
+So think not I have leisure to relate.
+Hence then! you hinder me: hence, hence I say.
+
+PAM. I'll to Glycerium. (_Exit._
+
+DAVUS. Well, and what mean you?
+Whither will you, Sir?
+
+CHAR. Shall I speak the truth?
+
+DAVUS. Oh to be sure: now for a tedious tale!
+
+CHAR. What will become of me?
+
+DAVUS. How! not content!
+Is it not then sufficient, if I give you
+The respite of a day, a little day,
+By putting off his wedding?
+
+CHAR. Aye, but Davus,----
+
+DAVUS. But what?
+
+CHAR. That I may wed----
+
+DAVUS. Ridiculous!
+
+CHAR. If you succeed, come to me.
+
+DAVUS. Wherefore come?
+I can't assist you.
+
+CHAR. Should it so fall out----
+
+DAVUS. Well, well, I'll come.
+
+CHAR. If aught, I am at home. (_Exit._
+
+  [Erratum:
+
+  _1768 edition prints "SEENE III."]
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Manent DAVUS, MYSIS._
+
+DAVUS. Mysis, wait here till I come forth.
+
+MYSIS. For what?
+
+DAVUS. It must be so.
+
+MYSIS. Make haste then.
+
+DAVUS. In a moment. (_Exit to GLYCERIUM'S._
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _MYSIS alone._
+
+Can we securely then count nothing ours?
+Oh all ye Gods! I thought this Pamphilus
+The greatest good my mistress could obtain,
+Friend, lover, husband, ev'ry way a blessing:
+And yet what woe, poor wretch, endures she not
+On his account? Alas, more ill than good.
+But here comes Davus.
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _Re-enter DAVUS with the child._
+
+MYSIS. Prithee, man, what now?
+Where are you carrying the child?
+
+DAVUS. Oh, Mysis,
+Now have I need of all your ready wit,
+And all your cunning.
+
+MYSIS. What are you about?
+
+DAVUS. Quick, take the boy, and lay him at our door.
+
+MYSIS. What, on the bare ground?
+
+DAVUS. From the altar then
+Take herbs and strew them underneath.
+
+MYSIS. And why
+Can't you do that yourself?
+
+DAVUS. Because, that if
+My master chance to put me to my oath
+That 'twas not I who laid it there, I may
+With a safe conscience swear. (_Gives her the child._)
+
+MYSIS. I understand.
+But pray how came this sudden qualm upon you?
+
+DAVUS. Nay, but be quick, that you may comprehend
+What I propose.-- (_MYSIS lays the child at SIMO'S door._)
+Oh Jupiter! (_Looking out._)
+
+MYSIS. What now?
+
+DAVUS. Here comes the father of the bride!--I change
+My first-intended purpose.
+
+MYSIS. What you mean
+I can't imagine.
+
+DAVUS. This way from the right,
+I'll counterfeit to come:--And be't your care
+To throw in aptly now and then a word,
+To help out the discourse as need requires.
+
+MYSIS. Still what you're at, I can not comprehend.
+But if I can assist, as you know best,
+Not to obstruct your purposes, I'll stay. (_DAVUS retires._)
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    DAVUS. Because, that if
+    My master chance to put me to my oath
+    That 'twas not I who laid it there, I may
+    With a safe conscience swear.
+    MYSIS. I understand.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    DAVUS. Because, supposing
+    There should be need to swear to my old master
+    I did not lay the bantling there myself
+    I may with a safe conscience.
+    MYSIS. I conceive.]
+
+
+SCENE VII.
+
+  _Enter CHREMES going toward SIMO'S._
+
+CHREMES. Having provided all things necessary.
+I now return to bid them call the bride.
+What's here? (_seeing the child_) by Hercules, a child! Ha, woman,
+Was't you that laid it here?
+
+MYSIS. Where is he gone? (_Looking after DAVUS._)
+
+CHREMES. What, won't you answer me?
+
+MYSIS. (_Looking about._) Not here: Ah me!
+The fellow's gone, and left me in the lurch.
+
+(_DAVUS coming forward and pretending not to see them._)
+
+DAVUS. Good Heavens, what confusion at the Forum!
+The people all disputing with each other!
+The market-price is so confounded high. (_Loud._)
+What to say else I know not. (_Aside._)
+
+MYSIS (_to DAVUS_). What d'ye mean, (_CHREMES retires and listens to
+    their conversation._)
+By leaving me alone?
+
+DAVUS. What farce is this?
+Ha, Mysis, whence this child? Who brought it here?
+
+MYSIS. Have you your wits, to ask me such a question?
+
+DAVUS. Whom should I ask, when no one else is here?
+
+CHREMES (_behind_). I wonder whence it comes. (_To himself._)
+
+DAVUS. Wilt answer me! (_Loud._)
+
+MYSIS. Ah! (_Confused._)
+
+DAVUS. This way to the right! (_Apart to MYSIS._)
+
+MYSIS. You're raving mad.
+Was 't not yourself!
+
+DAVUS. I charge you not a word,
+But what I ask you. (_Apart to MYSIS._)
+
+MYSIS. Do you threaten me?
+
+DAVUS. Whence comes this child? (_Loud._)
+
+MYSIS. From our house.
+
+DAVUS. Ha! ha! ha!
+No wonder that a harlot has assurance.
+
+CHREMES. This is the Andrian's servant-maid, I take it.
+
+DAVUS. Do we then seem to you such proper folks
+To play these tricks upon? (_Loud to MYSIS._)
+
+CHREMES. I came in time. (_To himself._)
+
+DAVUS. Make haste, and take your bantling from our door. (_Loud._)
+Hold! do not stir from where you are, be sure. (_Softly._)
+
+MYSIS. A plague upon you: you so terrify me!
+
+DAVUS. Wench, did I speak to you or no? (_Loud._)
+
+MYSIS. What would you?
+
+DAVUS. What would I? Say, whose child have you laid here?
+Tell me. (_Loud._)
+
+MYSIS. You don't know?
+
+DAVUS. Plague of what I know:
+Tell what I ask. (_Softly._)
+
+MYSIS. Yours.
+
+DAVUS. Ours? Whose? (_Loud._)
+
+MYSIS. Pamphilus's.
+
+DAVUS. How say you? Pamphilus's? (_Loud._)
+
+MYSIS. Why is 't not?
+
+CHREMES. I had good cause to be against this match. (_To himself._)
+
+DAVUS. O monstrous impudence! (_Bawling._)
+
+MYSIS. Why all this noise?
+
+DAVUS. Did not I see this child convey'd by stealth
+Into your house last night?
+
+MYSIS. Oh rogue!
+
+DAVUS. 'Tis true.
+I saw old Canthara stuff'd out?
+
+MYSIS. Thank Heav'n,
+Some free-women were present at her labor?
+
+DAVUS. Troth, she don't know the gentleman, for whom
+She plays this game. She thinks, should Chremes see
+The child laid here, he would not grant his daughter.
+Faith, he would grant her the more willingly.
+
+CHREMES. Not he indeed. (_To himself._)
+
+DAVUS. But now, one word for all,
+Take up the child; or I shall trundle him
+Into the middle of the street, and roll
+You, madam, in the mire.
+
+MYSIS. The fellow's drunk.
+
+DAVUS. One piece of knavery begets another:
+Now, I am told, 'tis whisper'd all about,
+That she's a citizen of Athens-- (_Loud._)
+
+CHREMES. How!
+
+DAVUS. And that by law he will be forc'd to wed her.
+
+MYSIS. Why prithee is she not a citizen?
+
+CHREMES. What a fine scrape was I within a hair
+Of being drawn into! (_To himself._)
+
+DAVUS. What voice is that? (_Turning about._)
+Oh Chremes! you are come in time. Attend!
+
+CHREMES. I have heard all already.
+
+DAVUS. You've heard all?
+
+CHREMES. Yes all, I say, from first to last.
+
+DAVUS. Indeed?
+Good lack, what knaveries! this lying jade
+Should be dragg'd hence to torture.--This is he! (_To MYSIS._)
+Think not 'twas Davus you impos'd upon.
+
+MYSIS. Ah me!--Good Sir, I spoke the truth indeed.
+
+CHREMES. I know the whole.--Is Simo in the house?
+
+DAVUS. Yes, Sir. (_Exit CHREMES._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  Hold! do not stir from where you are, be sure.
+  _Harper edition has "besure"_
+
+  _Harper_
+    DAVUS. How say you? Pamphilus's?
+    MYSIS. Why is 't not?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    DAVUS. How say you? Pamphilus's?
+    MYSIS. To be sure.]
+
+
+SCENE VIII.
+
+  _Manent DAVUS, MYSIS. DAVUS runs up to her._
+
+MYSIS. Don't offer to touch me, you villain!
+If I don't tell my mistress every word----
+
+DAVUS. Why you don't know, you fool, what good we've done.
+
+MYSIS. How should I?
+
+DAVUS. This is father to the bride:
+Nor could it otherwise have been contriv'd
+That he should know what we would have him.
+
+MYSIS. Well,
+You should have given me notice.
+
+DAVUS. Is there then
+No diff'rence, think you, whether all you say
+Falls natural from the heart, or comes
+From dull premeditation?
+
+
+SCENE IX.
+
+  _Enter CRITO._
+
+CRITO. In this street
+They say that Chrysis liv'd: who rather chose
+To heap up riches here by wanton ways,
+Than to live poor and honestly at home:
+She dead, her fortune comes by law to me.
+But I see persons to inquire of. (_Goes up._) Save you!
+
+MYSIS. Good now, who's that I see? is it not Crito,
+Chrysis's kinsman? Aye, the very same.
+
+CRITO. O Mysis, save you!
+
+MYSIS. Save you, Crito!
+
+CRITO. Chrysis
+Is then--ha?
+
+MYSIS. Aye, she has left us, poor souls!
+
+CRITO. And ye; how go ye on here?--pretty well?
+
+MYSIS. We?--as we _can_, as the old saying goes,
+When as we _would_ we can not.
+
+CRITO. And Glycerium,
+Has she found out her parents?
+
+MYSIS. Would she had!
+
+CRITO. Not yet! an ill wind blew me hither then.
+For truly, had I been appris'd of that,
+I'd ne'er have set foot here: for this Glycerium
+Was always call'd and thought to be her sister.
+What Chrysis left, she takes possession of:
+And now for me, a stranger, to commence
+A lawsuit here, how good and wise it were,
+Other examples teach me. She, I warrant,
+Has got her some gallant too, some defender:
+For she was growing up a jolly girl
+When first she journeyed hither. They will cry
+That I'm a pettifogger, fortune-hunter,
+A beggar.--And besides it were not well
+To leave her in distress.
+
+MYSIS. Good soul! troth Crito,
+You have the good old-fashion'd honesty.
+
+CRITO. Well, since I am arriv'd here, bring me to her,
+That I may see her.
+
+MYSIS. Aye, with all my heart.
+
+DAVUS. I will in with them: for I would not choose
+That our old gentleman should see me now. (_Exeunt._
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FIFTH.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _CHREMES, SIMO._
+
+CHREMES. Enough already, Simo, and enough
+I've shown my friendship for you; hazarded
+Enough of peril: urge me then no more!
+Wishing to please you, I had near destroy'd
+My daughter's peace and happiness forever.
+
+SIMO. Ah, Chremes, I must now entreat the more,
+More urge you to confirm the promis'd boon.
+
+CHREMES. Mark, how unjust you are through willfulness!
+So you obtain what you demand, you set
+No bounds to my compliance, nor consider
+What you request; for if you did consider,
+You'd cease to load me with these injuries.
+
+SIMO. What injuries?
+
+CHREMES. Is that a question now?
+Have you not driven me to plight my child
+To one possess'd with other love, averse
+To marriage; to expose her to divorce,
+And crazy nuptials; by her woe and bane
+To work a cure for your distemper'd son?
+You had prevail'd: I travel'd in the match,
+While circumstances would admit; but now
+The case is chang'd, content you:--It is said
+That she's a citizen; a child is born:
+Prithee excuse us!
+
+SIMO. Now, for Heav'n's sake.
+Believe not them, whose interest it is
+To make him vile and abject as themselves.
+These stories are all feign'd, concerted all,
+To break the match: when the occasion's past
+That urges them to this, they will desist.
+
+CHREMES. Oh, you mistake: e'en now I saw the maid
+Wrangling with Davus.
+
+SIMO. Artifice! mere trick.
+
+CHREMES. Aye, but in earnest; and when neither knew
+That I was there.
+
+SIMO. It may be so: and Davus
+Told me beforehand they'd attempt all this;
+Though I, I know not how, forgot to tell you.
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter DAVUS from GLYCERIUM'S._
+
+DAVUS (_to himself_). He may be easy now, I warrant him----
+
+CHREMES. See yonder's Davus.
+
+SIMO. Ha! whence comes the rogue?
+
+DAVUS. By my assistance, and this stranger's safe. (_To himself._)
+
+SIMO. What mischief's this? (_Listening._)
+
+DAVUS. A more commodious man,
+Arriving just in season, at a time
+So critical, I never knew. (_To himself._)
+
+SIMO. A knave!
+Who's that he praises? (_Listening._)
+
+DAVUS. All is now secure. (_To himself._)
+
+SIMO. Why don't I speak to him?
+
+DAVUS. My master here! (_Turning about._)
+What shall I do? (_To himself._)
+
+SIMO. Good Sir, your humble Servant! (_Sneering._)
+
+DAVUS. Oh, Simo! and our Chremes!--All is now
+Prepar'd within.
+
+SIMO. You've taken special care. (_Ironically._)
+
+DAVUS. E'en call them when you please.
+
+SIMO. Oh, mighty fine!
+That to be sure is all that's wanting now.
+--But tell me, Sir! what business had you there? (_Pointing to
+    GLYCERIUM'S._)
+
+DAVUS. I? (_Confused._)
+
+SIMO. You?
+
+DAVUS. I--? (_Stammering._)
+
+SIMO. You, Sir.
+
+DAVUS. I went in but now. (_Disordered._)
+
+SIMO. As if I ask'd, how long it was ago.
+
+DAVUS. With Pamphilus.
+
+SIMO. Is Pamphilus within?
+--Oh torture.--Did not you assure me, Sirrah,
+They were at variance?
+
+DAVUS. So they are.
+
+SIMO. Why then
+Is Pamphilus within?
+
+CHREMES. Oh, why d'ye think?
+He's gone to quarrel with her. (_Sneering._)
+
+DAVUS. Nay, but Chremes,
+There's more in this, and you shall hear strange news.
+There's an old countryman, I know not who,
+Is just arriv'd here; confident and shrewd;
+His look bespeaks him of some consequence.
+A grave severity is in his face,
+And credit in his words.
+
+SIMO. What story now?
+
+DAVUS. Nay, nothing, Sir, but what I heard him say.
+
+SIMO. And what says he, then?
+
+DAVUS. That he's well assur'd
+Glycerium's an Athenian citizen.
+
+SIMO. Ho, Dromo! Dromo!
+
+DAVUS. What now?
+
+SIMO. Dromo!
+
+DAVUS. Hear me.
+
+SIMO. Speak but a word more--Dromo!
+
+DAVUS. Pray, Sir, hear!
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Enter DROMO._
+
+DROMO. Your pleasure, Sir?
+
+SIMO. Here, drag him headlong in,
+And truss the rascal up immediately.
+
+DROMO. Whom?
+
+SIMO. Davus.
+
+DAVUS. Why!
+
+SIMO. Because I'll have it so.
+Take him, I say.
+
+DAVUS. For what offense?
+
+SIMO. Off with him!
+
+DAVUS. If it appear that I've said aught but truth,
+Put me to death.
+
+SIMO. I will not hear. I'll trounce you.
+
+DAVUS. But though it should prove true, Sir!
+
+SIMO. True or false.
+See that you keep him bound: and do you hear?
+Bind the slave hand and foot. Away! (_Exeunt DROMO and DAVUS._
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Manent SIMO, CHREMES._
+
+--By Heav'n,
+As I do live, I'll make you know this day
+What peril lies in trifling with a master,
+And make him know what 'tis to plague a father.
+
+CHREMES. Ah, be not in such rage.
+
+SIMO. Oh Chremes, Chremes,
+Filial unkindness!--Don't you pity me!
+To feel all this for such a thankless son!----
+Here, Pamphilus, come forth! ho, Pamphilus!
+Have you no shame? (_Calling at GLYCERIUM'S door._)
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _Enter PAMPHILUS._
+
+PAM. Who calls?--Undone! my father!
+
+SIMO. What say you? Most----
+
+CHREMES. Ah, rather speak at once
+Your purpose, Simo, and forbear reproach.
+
+SIMO. As if 'twere possible to utter aught
+Severer than he merits!--Tell me then; (_To PAM._)
+Glycerium is a citizen?
+
+PAM. They say so.
+
+SIMO. They say so!--Oh amazing impudence!----
+Does he consider what he says? does he
+Repent the deed? or does his color take
+The hue of shame?--To be so weak of soul,
+Against the custom of our citizens,
+Against the law, against his father's will,
+To wed himself to shame and this vile woman.
+
+PAM. Wretch that I am!
+
+SIMO. Ah, Pamphilus! d'ye feel
+Your wretchedness at last? Then, then, when first
+You wrought upon your mind at any rate
+To gratify your passion: from that hour
+Well might you feel your state of wretchedness.
+--But why give in to this? Why torture thus,
+Why vex my spirit? Why afflict my age
+For his distemp'rature? Why rue his sins?
+--No; let him have her, joy in her, live with her.
+
+PAM. My father!----
+
+SIMO. How, my father!--can I think
+You want this father? You that for yourself
+A home, a wife, and children have acquir'd
+Against your father's will? And witnesses
+Suborn'd, to prove that she's a citizen?
+--You've gain'd your point.
+
+PAM. My father, but one word!
+
+SIMO. What would you say?
+
+CHREMES. Nay, hear him, Simo.
+
+SIMO. Hear him?
+What must I hear then, Chremes!
+
+CHREMES. Let him speak.
+
+SIMO. Well, let him speak: I hear him.
+
+PAM. I confess,
+I love Glycerium: if it be a fault,
+That too I do confess. To you, my father,
+I yield myself: dispose me as you please!
+Command me! Say that I shall take a wife;
+Leave her; I will endure it, as I may----
+This only I beseech you, think not I
+Suborn'd this old man hither.--Suffer me
+To clear myself, and bring him here before you.
+
+SIMO. Bring him here!
+
+PAM. Let me, father!
+
+CHREMES. 'Tis but just:
+Permit him!
+
+PAM. Grant me this!
+
+SIMO. Well, be it so. (_Exit PAMPHILUS._
+I could bear all this bravely, Chremes; more,
+Much more, to know that he deceiv'd me not.
+
+CHREMES. For a great fault a little punishment
+Suffices to a father.
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _Re-enter PAMPHILUS with CRITO._
+
+CRITO. Say no more!
+Any of these inducements would prevail:
+Or your entreaty, or that it is truth,
+Or that I wish it for Glycerium's sake.
+
+CHREMES. Whom do I see? Crito, the Andrian?
+Nay certainly 'tis Crito.
+
+CRITO. Save you, Chremes!
+
+CHREMES. What has brought you to Athens?
+
+CRITO. Accident.
+But is this Simo?
+
+CHREMES. Aye.
+
+SIMO. Asks he for me?
+So, Sir, you say that this Glycerium
+Is an Athenian citizen?
+
+CRITO. Do you
+Deny it?
+
+SIMO. What then are you come prepar'd?
+
+CRITO. Prepar'd! for what?
+
+SIMO. And dare you ask for what?
+Shall you go on thus with impunity?
+Lay snares for inexperienc'd, lib'ral youth,
+With fraud, temptation, and fair promises
+Soothing their minds?----
+
+CRITO. Have you your wits?
+
+SIMO. --And then
+With marriage solder up their harlot loves?
+
+PAM. Alas, I fear the stranger will not bear this. (_Aside._)
+
+CHREMES. Knew you this person, Simo, you'd not think thus:
+He's a good man.
+
+SIMO. A good man he?--To come,
+Although at Athens never seen till now,
+So opportunely on the wedding-day!----
+Is such a fellow to be trusted, Chremes?
+
+PAM. But that I fear my father, I could make
+That matter clear to him. (_Aside._)
+
+SIMO. A Sharper!
+
+CRITO. How?
+
+CHREMES. It is his humor, Crito: do not heed him.
+
+CRITO. Let him look to 't. If he persists in saying
+Whate'er he pleases, I shall make him hear
+Something that may displease him.--Do I stir
+In these affairs, or make them my concern?
+Bear your misfortunes patiently! For me,
+If I speak true or false, shall now be known.
+--"A man of Athens once upon a time
+Was shipwreck'd on the coast of Andros: with him
+This very woman, then an infant. He
+In this distress applied, it so fell out,
+For help to Chrysis' father--"
+
+SIMO. All romance.
+
+CHREMES. Let him alone.
+
+CRITO. And will he interrupt me?
+
+CHREMES. Go on.
+
+CRITO. "Now Chrysis' father, who receiv'd him,
+Was my relation. There I've often heard
+The man himself declare, he was of Athens.
+There too he died."
+
+CHREMES. His name?
+
+CRITO. His name so quickly!-- Phania.
+
+CHREMES. Amazement!
+
+CRITO. By my troth, I think 'twas Phania;
+But this I'm sure, he said he was of Rhamnus.
+
+CHREMES. Oh Jupiter!
+
+CRITO. These circumstances, Chremes,
+Were known to many others, then in Andros.
+
+CHREMES. Heav'n grant it may be as I wish!--Inform me,
+Whose daughter, said he, was the child? his own?
+
+CRITO. No, not his own.
+
+CHREMES. Whose then?
+
+CRITO. His brother's daughter.
+
+CHREMES. Mine, mine undoubtedly!
+
+CRITO. What say you?
+
+SIMO. How!
+
+PAM. Hark, Pamphilus!
+
+SIMO. But why believe you this?
+
+CHREMES. That Phania was my brother.
+
+SIMO. True. I knew him.
+
+CHREMES. He, to avoid the war, departed hence:
+And fearing 'twere unsafe to leave the child,
+Embark'd with her in quest of me for Asia:
+Since when I've heard no news of him till now.
+
+PAM. I'm scarce myself, my mind is so enrapt
+With fear, hope, joy, and wonder of so great,
+So sudden happiness.
+
+SIMO. Indeed, my Chremes,
+I heartily rejoice she's found your daughter.
+
+PAM. I do believe you, father.
+
+CHREMES. But one doubt
+There still remains, which gives me pain.
+
+PAM. Away
+With all your doubts! you puzzle a plain cause. (_Aside._)
+
+CRITO. What is that doubt?
+
+CHREMES. The name does not agree.
+
+CRITO. She had another, when a child.
+
+CHREMES. What, Crito?
+Can you remember?
+
+CRITO. I am hunting for it.
+
+PAM. Shall then his memory oppose my bliss,
+When I can minister the cure myself?
+No, I will not permit it--Hark you, Chremes,
+The name is Pasibula.
+
+CRITO. True.
+
+CHREMES. The same.
+
+PAM. I've heard it from herself a thousand times.
+
+SIMO. Chremes, I trust you will believe, we all
+Rejoice at this.
+
+CHREMES. 'Fore Heaven I believe so.
+
+PAM. And now, my father----
+
+SIMO. Peace, son! the event
+Has reconcil'd me.
+
+PAM. O thou best of fathers!
+Does Chremes too confirm Glycerium mine?
+
+CHREMES. And with good cause if Simo hinder not.
+
+PAM. Sir! (_To SIMO._)
+
+SIMO. Be it so.
+
+CHREMES. My daughter's portion is
+Ten talents, Pamphilus.
+
+PAM. I am content.
+
+CHREMES. I'll to her instantly: and prithee, Crito,
+Along with me! for sure she knows me not. (_Exeunt CHREMES and CRITO._
+
+SIMO. Why do you not give orders instantly
+To bring her to our house?
+
+PAM. Th' advice is good.
+I'll give that charge to Davus.
+
+SIMO. It can't be.
+
+PAM. Why?
+
+SIMO. He has other business of his own,
+Of nearer import to himself.
+
+PAM. What business?
+
+SIMO. He's bound.
+
+PAM. Bound! how, Sir!
+
+SIMO. How, Sir?--neck and heels.
+
+PAM. Ah, let him be enlarg'd.
+
+SIMO. It shall be done.
+
+PAM. But instantly.
+
+SIMO. I'll in, and order it. (_Exit._
+
+PAM. Oh what a happy, happy day is this!
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    CHREMES. His name?
+    CRITO. His name so quickly!-- Phania.
+    CHREMES. Amazement!
+    CRITO. By my troth, I think 'twas Phania
+  _Colman 1768_
+    CHREMES. His name?
+    CRITO. His name so quickly!--
+    Phania.
+    CHREMES. Amazement!
+    CRITO. Troth, I think 'twas Phania]
+
+
+SCENE VII.
+
+  _Enter CHARINUS behind._
+
+CHAR. I come to see what Pamphilus is doing:
+And there he is!
+
+PAM. And is this true?--yes, yes,
+I know 'tis true, because I wish it so.
+Therefore I think the life of Gods eternal,
+For that their joys are permanent: and now,
+My soul hath her content so absolute,
+That I too am immortal, if no ill
+Step in betwixt me and this happiness.
+Oh, for a bosom-friend now to pour out
+My ecstasies before him!
+
+CHAR. What's this rapture? (_Listening._)
+
+PAM. Oh, yonder's Davus: nobody more welcome:
+For he, I know, will join in transport with me.
+
+
+SCENE VIII.
+
+  _Enter DAVUS._
+
+DAVUS (_entering_). Where's Pamphilus?
+
+PAM. Oh Davus!
+
+DAVUS. Who's there?
+
+PAM. I.
+
+DAVUS. Oh Pamphilus!
+
+PAM. You know not my good fortune.
+
+DAVUS. Do you know my ill fortune?
+
+PAM. To a tittle.
+
+DAVUS. 'Tis after the old fashion, that my ills
+Should reach your ears, before your joys reach mine.
+
+PAM. Glycerium has discover'd her relations.
+
+DAVUS. O excellent!
+
+CHAR. How's that? (_Listening._)
+
+PAM. Her father is
+Our most near friend.
+
+DAVUS. Who?
+
+PAM. Chremes.
+
+DAVUS. Charming news!
+
+PAM. And I'm to marry her immediately.
+
+CHAR. Is this man talking in his sleep, and dreams
+On what he wishes waking? (_Listening._)
+
+PAM. And moreover,
+For the child, Davus----
+
+DAVUS. Ah, Sir, say no more.
+You're th' only favorite of the Gods.
+
+CHAR. I'm made,
+If this be true. I'll speak to them. (_Comes forward._)
+
+PAM. Who's there?
+Charinus! oh, well met.
+
+CHAR. I give you joy.
+
+PAM. You've heard then----
+
+CHAR. Ev'ry word: and prithee now,
+In your good fortune, think upon your friend.
+Chremes is now your own; and will perform
+Whatever you shall ask.
+
+PAM. I shall remember.
+'Twere tedious to expect his coming forth:
+Along with me then to Glycerium!
+Davus, do you go home, and hasten them
+To fetch her hence. Away, away!
+
+DAVUS. I go. (_Exeunt PAMPHILUS and CHARINUS._
+(_DAVUS addressing the audience._)
+Wait not till they come forth: within
+She'll be betroth'd; within, if aught remains
+Undone, 'twill be concluded--Clap your hands!
+
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+           *       *       *       *
+
+
+THE EUNUCH.
+
+
+PERSONS REPRESENTED.
+
+  PROLOGUE.
+  LACHES.
+  PHÆDRIA.
+  CHÆREA.
+  ANTIPHO.
+  CHREMES.
+  THRASO.
+  GNATHO.
+  PARMENO.
+  DORUS.
+  SANGA.
+  SIMALIO, ETC.
+
+  THAIS.
+  PYTHIAS.
+  DORIAS.
+  SOPHRONA.
+  PAMPHILA.
+
+SCENE, ATHENS.
+
+
+
+
+PROLOGUE.
+
+To please the candid, give offense to none,
+This, says the Poet, ever was his care:
+Yet if there's one who thinks he's hardly censur'd,
+Let him remember he was the aggressor:
+_He_, who translating many, but not well,
+On good Greek fables fram'd poor Latin plays;
+_He_, who but lately to the public gave
+The Phantom of Menander; _He_, who made,
+In the Thesaurus, the Defendant plead
+And vouch the question'd treasure to be his,
+Before the Plaintiff his own title shows,
+Or whence it came into his father's tomb.
+
+  Henceforward, let him not deceive himself,
+Or cry, "I'm safe, he can say naught of me."
+I charge him that he err not, and forbear
+To urge me farther; for I've more, much more,
+Which now shall be o'erlook'd, but shall be known,
+If he pursue his slanders, as before.
+
+  Soon as this play, the Eunuch of Menander,
+Which we are now preparing to perform,
+Was purchas'd by the Ædiles, he obtain'd
+Leave to examine it: and afterward
+When 'twas rehears'd before the Magistrates,
+"A Thief," he cried, "no Poet gives this piece.
+Yet has he not deceived us: for we know,
+The Colax is an ancient comedy
+Of Nævius, and of Plautus; and from thence
+The Parasite and Soldier both are stolen."
+
+  If that's the Poet's crime, it is a crime
+Of ignorance, and not a studied theft.
+Judge for yourselves! the fact is even thus.
+The Colax is a fable of Menander's;
+Wherein is drawn the character of Colax
+The parasite, and the vain-glorious soldier;
+Which characters, he scruples not to own,
+He to his Eunuch from the Greek transferr'd:
+But that he knew those pieces were before
+Made Latin, that he steadfastly denies.
+
+  Yet if to other Poets 'tis not lawful
+To draw the characters our fathers drew,
+How can it then be lawful to exhibit
+Slaves running to and fro; to represent
+Good matrons, wanton harlots; or to show
+An eating parasite, vain-glorious soldier,
+Supposititious children, bubbled dotards,
+Or love, or hate, or jealousy?--In short,
+Nothing's said now but has been said before.
+Weigh then these things with candor, and forgive
+The Moderns, if what Ancients did, they do.
+
+  Attend, and list in silence to our play,
+That ye may know what 'tis the Eunuch means.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+    Or cry, "I'm safe, he can say naught of me."
+  _Quotation marks supplied from the 1768 edition._]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FIRST.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _Enter PHÆDRIA and PARMENO._
+
+PHÆD. And what then shall I do? not go? not now?
+When she herself invites me? or were't best
+Fashion my mind no longer to endure
+These harlots' impudence?--Shut out! recall'd!
+Shall I return? No, not if she implore me.
+
+PAR. Oh brave! oh excellent! if you maintain it!
+But if you try, and can't go through with spirit,
+And finding you can't bear it, uninvited,
+Your peace unmade, all of your own accord,
+You come and swear you love, and can't endure it,
+Good-night! all's over! ruin'd and undone
+She'll jilt you, when she sees you in her pow'r.
+
+PHÆD. You then, in time consider and advise!
+
+PAR. Master! the thing which hath not in itself
+Or measure or advice, advice can't rule.
+In love are all these ills: suspicions, quarrels,
+Wrongs, reconcilements, war, and peace again:
+Things thus uncertain, if by reason's rules
+You'd certain make, it were as wise a task
+To try with reason to run mad. And now
+What you in anger meditate--I her?
+That him?--that me? that would not--pardon me!
+I would die rather: No! she shall perceive
+How much I am a man.--Big words like these,
+She in good faith with one false tiny drop,
+Which, after grievous rubbing, from her eyes
+Can scarce perforce be squeez'd, shall overcome.
+Nay, she shall swear, 'twas you in fault, not she;
+You too shall own th' offense, and pray for pardon.
+
+PHÆD. Oh monstrous! monstrous! now indeed I see
+How false she is, and what a wretch I am!
+Spite of myself I love; and knowing, feeling,
+With open eyes run on to my destruction;
+And what to do I know not.
+
+PAR. What to do?
+What should you do, Sir, but redeem yourself
+As cheaply as you can?--at easy rates
+If possible--if not--at any rate----
+And never vex yourself.
+
+PHÆD. Is that your counsel?
+
+PAR. Aye, if you're wise; and do not add to love
+More troubles than it has, and those it has
+Bear bravely! But she comes, our ruin comes;
+For she, like storms of hail on fields of corn,
+Beats down our hopes, and carries all before her.
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter THAIS._
+
+THAIS. Ah me! I fear lest Phædria take offense
+And think I meant it other than I did,
+That he was not admitted yesterday. (_To herself, not seeing them._)
+
+PHÆD. I tremble, Parmeno, and freeze with horror.
+
+PAR. Be of good cheer! approach yon fire--she'll warm you.
+
+THAIS. Who's there? my Phædria? Why did you stand here?
+Why not directly enter?
+
+PAR. Not one word
+Of having shut him out!
+
+THAIS. Why don't you speak?
+
+PHÆD. Because, forsooth, these doors will always fly
+Open to me, or that because I stand
+The first in your good graces. (_Ironically._)
+
+THAIS. Nay, no more!
+
+PHÆD. No more?--O Thais, Thais, would to Heaven
+Our loves were parallel, that things like these
+Might torture you, as this has tortur'd me:
+Or that your actions were indifferent to me!
+
+THAIS. Grieve not, I beg, my love, my Phædria!
+Not that I lov'd another more, I did this.
+But I by circumstance was forc'd to do it.
+
+PAR. So then, it seems, for very love, poor soul,
+You shut the door in 's teeth.
+
+THAIS. Ah Parmeno!
+Is't thus you deal with me? Go to!--But hear
+Why I did call you hither?
+
+PHÆD. Be it so.
+
+THAIS. But tell me first, can yon slave hold his peace?
+
+PAM. I? oh most faithfully: But hark ye, madam!
+On this condition do I bind my faith:
+The truths I hear, I will conceal; whate'er
+Is false, or vain, or feign'd, I'll publish it.
+I'm full of chinks, and run through here and there:
+So if you claim my secrecy, speak truth.
+
+THAIS. My mother was a Samian, liv'd at Rhodes.
+
+PAR. This sleeps in silence. (_Archly._)
+
+THAIS. There a certain merchant
+Made her a present of a little girl,
+Stol'n hence from Attica.
+
+PHÆD. A citizen?
+
+THAIS. I think so, but we can not tell for certain.
+Her father's and her mother's name she told
+Herself; her country and the other marks
+Of her original, she neither knew,
+Nor, from her age, was 't possible she should.
+The merchant added further, that the pirates,
+Of whom he bought her, let him understand,
+She had been stol'n from Sunium. My mother
+Gave her an education, brought her up
+In all respects as she had been her own;
+And she in gen'ral was suppos'd my sister.
+I journeyed hither with the gentleman
+To whom alone I was connected then,
+The same who left me all I have.
+
+PAR. Both these
+Are false, and shall go forth at large.
+
+THAIS. Why so?
+
+PAR. Because nor you with one could be content,
+Nor he alone enrich'd you; for my master
+Made good and large addition.
+
+THAIS. I allow it,
+But let me hasten to the point I wish:
+Meantime the captain, who was then but young
+In his attachment to me, went to Caria.
+I, in his absence, was address'd by you;
+Since when, full well you know, how very dear
+I've held you, and have trusted you with all
+My nearest counsels.
+
+PHÆD. And yet Parmeno
+Will not be silent even here.
+
+PAR. Oh, Sir,
+Is that a doubt?
+
+THAIS. Nay, prithee now, attend!
+My mother's lately dead at Rhodes: her brother,
+Too much intent on wealth, no sooner saw
+This virgin, handsome, well-accomplish'd, skill'd
+In music, than, spurr'd on by hopes of gain,
+In public market he expos'd and sold her.
+It so fell out, my soldier-spark was there,
+And bought her, all unknowing these events,
+To give to me: but soon as he return'd,
+And found how much I was attach'd to you,
+He feign'd excuses to keep back the girl;
+Pretending, were he thoroughly convinc'd
+That I would still prefer him to yourself,
+Nor fear'd that when I had receiv'd the girl,
+I would abandon him, he'd give her to me;
+But that he doubted. For my part, I think
+He is grown fond of her himself.
+
+PHÆD. Is there
+Aught more between them?
+
+THAIS. No; for I've inquir'd,
+And now, my Phædria, there are sundry causes
+Wherefore I wish to win the virgin from him.
+First, for she's call'd my sister; and moreover,
+That I to her relations may restore her.
+I'm a lone woman, have nor friend, nor kin:
+Wherefore, my Phædria, I would raise up friends
+By some good turn:--And you, I prithee now,
+Help me to do it. Let him some few days
+Be my gallant in chief. What! no reply?
+
+PHÆD. Abandon'd woman! Can I aught reply
+To deeds like these?
+
+PAR. Oh excellent! well said!
+He feels at length; Now, master, you're a man.
+
+PHÆD. I saw your story's drift.--"A little girl
+Stol'n hence--My mother brought her up--was call'd
+My sister--I would fain obtain her from him,
+That I to her relations might restore her----"
+All this preamble comes at last to this.
+I am excluded, he's admitted. Why?
+But that you love him more than me, and fear
+Lest this young captive win your hero from you.
+
+THAIS. Do I fear that?
+
+PHÆD. Why, prithee now, what else?
+Does he bring gifts alone? didst e'er perceive
+My bounty shut against you? Did I not,
+Because you told me you'd be glad to have
+An Ethiopian servant-maid, all else
+Omitted, seek one out? You said besides,
+You wish'd to have an Eunuch, 'cause forsooth,
+They were for dames of quality; I found one:
+For both I yesterday paid twenty _minæ_,
+Yet you contemn me--I forgot not these,
+And for these I'm despis'd.
+
+THAIS. Why this, my Phædria?
+Though I would fain obtain the girl, and though
+I think by these means it might well be done;
+Yet, rather than make you my enemy,
+I'll do as you command.
+
+PHÆD. Oh, had you said
+Those words sincerely. "Rather than make you
+My enemy!"--Oh, could I think those words
+Came from your heart, what is 't I'd not endure!
+
+PAR. Gone! conquer'd with one word! alas, how soon!
+
+THAIS. Not speak sincerely? from my very soul?
+What did you ever ask, although in sport,
+But you obtain'd it of me? yet I can't
+Prevail on you to grant but two short days.
+
+PHÆD. Well--for two days--so those two be not twenty.
+
+THAIS. No in good faith but two, or----
+
+PHÆD. Or? no more.
+
+THAIS. It shall not be: but you will grant me those.
+
+PHÆD. Your will must be a law.
+
+THAIS. Thanks, my sweet Phædria!
+
+PHÆD. I'll to the country: there consume myself
+For these two days: it must be so: we must
+Give way to Thais. See you, Parmeno,
+The slaves brought hither.
+
+PAR. Sir, I will.
+
+PHÆD. My Thais,
+For these two days farewell!
+
+THAIS. Farewell, my Phædria!
+Would you aught else with me?
+
+PHÆD. Aught else, my Thais?
+Be with yon soldier present, as if absent:
+All night and day love me: still long for me:
+Dream, ponder still of me; wish, hope for me:
+Delight in me; be all in all with me;
+Give your whole heart, for mine's all yours, to me. (_Exeunt._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    The truths I hear, I will conceal; whate'er
+    Is false, or vain, or feign'd, I'll publish it.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    The truths I hear, I will conceal; but falsehood,
+    Fiction, or gross pretence, shall out at once.]
+
+  _Harper_
+    PAR. Both these
+    Are false, and shall go forth at large.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PAR. These articles
+    Are both rank falsehoods, and shall out.
+
+    PHÆD. I saw your story's drift.--"A little girl ...
+    ...
+    That I to her relations might restore her----"
+  _Quotation marks supplied from 1768 edition.]
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Manet THAIS._
+
+Ah me! I fear that he believes me not,
+And judges of my heart from those of others.
+I in my conscience know, that nothing false
+I have deliver'd, nor to my true heart
+Is any dearer than this Phædria:
+And whatsoe'er in this affair I've done,
+For the girl's sake I've done: for I'm in hopes
+I know her brother, a right noble youth.
+To-day I wait him, by his own appointment;
+Wherefore I'll in, and tarry for his coming.
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE SECOND.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _PHÆDRIA, PARMENO._
+
+PHÆDRIA. Carry the slaves according to my order.
+
+PAR. I will.
+
+PHÆD. But diligently.
+
+PAR. Sir, I will.
+
+PHÆD. But soon.
+
+PAR. I will, Sir!
+
+PHÆD. Say, is it sufficient?
+
+PAR. Ah! what a question's that? as if it were
+So difficult! I wish, Sir Phædria,
+You could gain aught so easy, as lose these.
+
+PHÆD. I lose, what's dearer yet, my comfort with them.
+Repine not at my gifts.
+
+PAR. Not I: moreover
+I will convey them straight. But have you any
+Other commands?
+
+PHÆD. Oh yes: set off our presents
+With words as handsome as you can: and drive,
+As much as possible, that rival from her!
+
+PAR. Ah, Sir, I should, of course, remember that.
+
+PHÆD. I'll to the country, and stay there.
+
+PAR. O, aye! (_Ironically._)
+
+PHÆD. But hark you!
+
+PAR. Sir, your pleasure?
+
+PHÆD. Do you think
+I can with constancy hold out, and not
+Return before my time?
+
+PAR. Hold out? Not you.
+Either you'll straight return, or soon at night
+Your dreams will drive you out o' doors.
+
+PHÆD. I'll toil;
+That, weary, I may sleep against my will.
+
+PAR. Weary you may be; but you'll never sleep.
+
+PHÆD. Ah, Parmeno, you wrong me. I'll cast out
+This treacherous softness from my soul, nor thus
+Indulge my passions. Yes, I could remain,
+If need, without her even three whole days.
+
+PAR. Hui! three whole livelong days! consider, Sir.
+
+PHÆD. I am resolved.
+
+_PARMENO alone._
+
+Heav'ns, what a strange disease is this! that love
+Should so change men, that one can hardly swear
+They are the same!--No mortal liv'd
+Less weak, more grave, more temperate than he.
+--But who comes yonder?--Gnatho, as I live;
+The Captain's parasite! and brings along
+The Virgin for a present: oh rare wench!
+How beautiful! I shall come off, I doubt,
+But scurvily with my decrepit Eunuch.
+This Girl surpasses ev'n Thais herself.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    Either you'll straight return, or soon at night
+    Your dreams will drive you out o' doors.
+    PHÆD. I'll toil
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Either you'll straight return, or want of sleep
+    Will drive you forth at midnight.
+    PHÆD. I will toil
+
+    _PARMENO alone._
+  _In 1768 edition this passage is labeled SCENE II._]
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter GNATHO leading PAMPHILA; PARMENO behind._
+
+GNAT. Good Heav'ns! how much one man excels another!
+What diff'rence 'twixt a wise man and a fool!
+What just now happen'd proves it: coming hither
+I met with an old countryman, a man
+Of my own place and order, like myself,
+No scurvy fellow, who, like me, had spent
+In mirth and jollity his whole estate.
+He was in a most wretched trim; his looks
+Lean, sick, and dirty; and his clothes all rags.
+"How now!" cried I, "what means this figure, friend?
+Alas! says he, my patrimony's gone.
+--Ah, how am I reduc'd! my old acquaintance
+And friends all shun me."--Hearing this, how cheap
+I held him in comparison with me!
+"Why, how now? wretch, said I, most idle wretch!
+Have you spent all, nor left ev'n hope behind?
+What! have you lost your sense with your estate?
+Me!--look on me--come from the same condition!
+How sleek! how neat! how clad! in what good case!
+I've ev'ry thing, though nothing; naught possess,
+Yet naught I ever want."--"Ah, Sir, but I
+Have an unhappy temper, and can't bear
+To be the butt of others, or to take
+A beating now and then."--"How then! d'ye think
+Those are the means of thriving? No, my friend!
+Such formerly indeed might drive a trade:
+But mine's a new profession; I the first
+That ever struck into this road. There are
+A kind of men, who wish to be the head
+Of ev'ry thing; but are not. These I follow;
+Not for their sport and laughter, but for gain
+To laugh with them, and wonder at their parts:
+Whate'er they say, I praise it; if again
+They contradict, I praise that too: does any
+Deny? I too deny: affirm? I too
+Affirm: and in a word, I've brought myself
+To say, unsay, swear, and forswear, at pleasure:
+And that is now the best of all professions."
+
+PAR. A special fellow this! who drives fools mad.
+
+GNAT. Deep in this conversation, we at length
+Come to the market, where the sev'ral tradesmen,
+Butchers, cooks, grocers, poult'rers, fishmongers,
+(Who once did profit and still profit by me,)
+All run with joy to me, salute, invite,
+And bid me welcome. He, poor half-starv'd wretch,
+Soon as he saw me thus caress'd, and found
+I got my bread so easily, desired
+He might have leave to learn that art of me.
+I bade him follow me, if possible:
+And, as the Schools of the Philosophers
+Have ta'en from the Philosophers their names,
+So, in like manner, let all Parasites
+Be call'd from me Gnathonics!
+
+PAR. Mark, what ease,
+And being kept at other's cost, produces!
+
+GNAT. But hold, I must convey this girl to Thais,
+And bid her forth to sup.--Ha, Parmeno!
+Our rival's slave, standing at Thais' door!
+--How melancholy he appears! All's safe:
+These poor rogues find but a cold welcome here.
+I'll play upon this knave. (_Aside._)
+
+PAR. These fellows think
+This present will make Thais all their own. (_Aside._)
+
+GNAT. To Parmeno, his lov'd and honor'd friend,
+Gnatho sends greeting. (_Ironically._)--What are you upon?
+
+PAR. My legs.
+
+GNAT. I see it.--Is there nothing here
+Displeasing to you?
+
+PAR. You.
+
+GNAT. I do believe it.
+But prithee, is there nothing else?
+
+PAR. Wherefore?
+
+GNAT. Because you're melancholy.
+
+PAR. Not at all.
+
+GNAT. Well, do not be so!--Pray, now, what d'ye think
+Of this young handmaid?
+
+PAR. Troth, she's not amiss.
+
+GNAT. I plague the rascal. (_Half aside._)
+
+PAR. How the knave's deceiv'd! (_Half aside._)
+
+GNAT. Will not this gift be very acceptable
+To Thais, think you?
+
+PAR. You'd insinuate
+That we're shut out.--There is, alas, a change
+In all things.
+
+GNAT. For these six months, Parmeno,
+For six whole months at least, I'll make you easy;
+You sha'n't run up and down, and watch till daylight;
+Come, don't I make you happy?
+
+PAR. Very happy.
+
+GNAT. 'Tis my way with my friends.
+
+PAR. You're very good.
+
+GNAT. But I detain you: you, perhaps, was going
+Somewhere else.
+
+PAR. Nowhere.
+
+GNAT. May I beg you then
+To use your int'rest here, and introduce me
+To Thais?
+
+PAR. Hence! away! these doors
+Fly open now, because you carry her.
+
+GNAT. Would you have any one call'd forth? (_Exit._
+
+PAR. Well, well!
+Pass but two days; and you, so welcome now,
+That the doors open with your little finger,
+Shall kick against them then, I warrant you,
+Till your heels ache again.
+
+_Re-enter GNATHO._
+
+GNAT. Ha! Parmeno!
+Are you here still? What! are you left a spy,
+Lest any go-between should run by stealth
+To Thais from the Captain? (_Exit._
+
+PAR. Very smart!
+No wonder such a wit delights the Captain!
+But hold! I see my master's younger son
+Coming this way. I wonder much he should
+Desert Piræus, where he's now on guard.
+'Tis not for nothing. All in haste he comes,
+And seems to look about.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+    SCENE II.
+  _Labeled SCENE III in 1768 edition (see end of Scene I)._
+
+  _All quotation marks in this scene are supplied from the
+  1768 edition._
+
+  _Harper_
+    He was in a most wretched trim; his looks
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Seeing him in a wretched trim; his looks
+
+    But mine's a new profession; I the first
+  _Harper edition prints "But mine 's" with anomalous spacing_
+
+  _Harper_
+    (Who once did profit and still profit by me,)
+  _Colman 1768_
+    (Who, while my means were ample, profited,
+    And, tho' now wasted, profit by me still,)]
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Enter CHÆREA; PARMENO behind._
+
+CHÆR. Undone! undone!
+The Girl is lost; I know not where she is,
+Nor where I am: ah, whither shall I trace?
+Where seek? of whom inquire? or which way turn?
+I'm all uncertain; but have one hope still:
+Where'er she is, she can not long lie hid.
+Oh charming face! all others from my memory
+Hence I blot out. Away with common beauties!
+
+PAR. So, here's the other! and he mutters too
+I know not what of love. Oh what a poor
+Unfortunate old man their father is!
+As for this stripling, if he once begin,
+His brother's is but jest and children's play
+To his mad fury.
+
+CHÆR. Twice ten thousand curses
+Seize the old wretch, who kept me back to-day;
+And me for staying! with a fellow too
+I did not care a farthing for!--But see!
+Yonder stands Parmeno.--Good-day!
+
+PAR. How now?
+Wherefore so sad? and why this hurry, Chærea?
+Whence come you?
+
+CHÆR. I? I can not tell, i'faith,
+Whence I am come, or whither I am going,
+I've so entirely lost myself.
+
+PAR. And why?
+
+CHÆR. I am in love.
+
+PAR. Oh brave!
+
+CHÆR. Now, Parmeno,
+Now you may show what kind of man you are.
+You know you've often told me; "Chærea,
+Find something out to set your heart upon,
+And mark how I will serve you!" yes, you know
+You've often said so, when I scrap'd together
+All the provisions for you at my father's.
+
+PAR. Away, you trifler!
+
+CHÆR. Nay, in faith, it's true:
+Now make your promise good! and in a cause
+Worthy the utmost reachings of your soul:
+A girl! my Parmeno, not like our misses;
+Whose mothers try to keep their shoulders down,
+And bind their bosoms, that their shapes may seem
+Genteel and slim. Is a girl rather plump?
+They call her nurse, and stint her in her food:
+Thus art, in spits of nature, makes them all
+Mere bulrushes: and therefore they're belov'd.
+
+PAR. And what's this girl of yours?
+
+CHÆR. A miracle.
+
+PAR. Oh, to be sure!
+
+CHÆR. True, natural red and white;
+Her body firm, and full of precious stuff!
+
+PAR. Her age?
+
+CHÆR. About sixteen.
+
+PAR. The very prime!
+
+CHÆR. This girl, by force, by stealth, or by entreaty,
+Procure me! how I care not, so I have her.
+
+PAR. Well, whom does she belong to?
+
+CHÆR. I don't know.
+
+PAR. Whence comes she?
+
+CHÆR. I can't tell.
+
+PAR. Where does she live?
+
+CHÆR. I can't tell neither.
+
+PAR. Where was it you saw her?
+
+CHÆR. Here in the street.
+
+PAR. And how was it you lost her?
+
+CHÆR. Why it was that, which I so fumed about,
+As I came hither! nor was ever man
+So jilted by good fortune as myself.
+
+PAR. What mischief now?
+
+CHÆR. Confounded luck.
+
+PAR. How so?
+
+CHÆR. How so! d'ye know one Archidemides,
+My father's kinsman, and about his age?
+
+PAR. Full well.
+
+CHÆR. As I was in pursuit of her
+He met me.
+
+PAR. Rather inconveniently.
+
+CHÆR. Oh most unhappily! for other ills
+May be told, Parmeno!--I could swear too,
+For six, nay seven months, I had not seen him,
+Till now, when least I wish'd and most would shun it.
+Is not this monstrous? Eh!
+
+PAR. Oh! very monstrous.
+
+CHÆR. Soon as from far he saw me, instantly,
+Bent, trembling, drop-jaw'd, gasping, out of breath,
+He hobbled up to me.--"Holo! ho! Chærea!"----
+I stopp'd.--"D'ye know what I want with you?"--"What?"
+--"I have a cause to-morrow."--"Well! what then?"----
+--"Fail not to tell your father, he remember
+To go up with me, as an advocate."----
+His prating took some time. "Aught else?" said I.
+"Nothing," said he:--Away flew I, and saw
+The girl that instant turn into this street.
+
+PAR. Sure he must mean the virgin, just now brought
+To Thais for a present.
+
+CHÆR. Soon as I
+Came hither, she was out of sight.
+
+PAR. Had she
+Any attendants?
+
+CHÆR. Yes; a parasite,
+With a maid-servant.
+
+PAR. 'Tis the very same;
+Away! have done! all's over.
+
+CHÆR. What d'ye mean?
+
+PAR. The girl I mean.
+
+CHÆR. D'ye know then who she is?
+Tell me!--or have you seen her?
+
+PAR. Yes, I've seen her;
+I know her; and can tell you where she is.
+
+CHÆR. How! my dear Parmeno, d'ye know her?
+
+PAR. Yes.
+
+CHÆR. And where she is, d'ye know?
+
+PAR. Yes,--there she is; (_Pointing._)
+Carried to Madam Thais for a present.
+
+CHÆR. What monarch could bestow a gift so precious?
+
+PAR. The mighty Captain Thraso, Phædria's rival.
+
+CHÆR. Alas, poor brother!
+
+PAR. Aye, and if you knew
+The gift he sends to be compar'd with this,
+You'd cry alas, indeed!
+
+CHÆR. What is his gift?
+
+PAR. An Eunuch.
+
+CHÆR. What! that old and ugly slave
+That he bought yesterday?
+
+PAR. The very same.
+
+CHÆR. Why, surely, he'll be trundled out o' doors
+He and his gift together--I ne'er knew
+Till now that Thais was our neighbor.
+
+PAR. She
+Has not been long so.
+
+CHÆR. Ev'ry way unlucky:
+Ne'er to have seen her neither:--Prithee, tell me,
+Is she so handsome, as she's said to be?
+
+PAR. Yes, faith!
+
+CHÆR. But nothing to compare to mine.
+
+PAR. Oh, quite another thing.
+
+CHÆR. But Parmeno!
+Contrive that I may have her.
+
+PAR. Well, I will.
+Depend on my assistance:--have you any
+Further commands? (_As if going._)
+
+CHÆR. Where are you going?
+
+PAR. Home;
+To bring according to your brother's order,
+The slaves to Thais.
+
+CHÆR. Oh, that happy Eunuch!
+To be convey'd into that house!
+
+PAR. Why so?
+
+CHÆR. Why so? why, he shall have that charming girl
+His fellow-servant, see her, speak with her,
+Be with her in the same house all day long,
+And sometimes eat, and sometimes sleep by her.
+
+PAR. And what if you should be so happy?
+
+CHÆR. How?
+Tell me, dear Parmeno!
+
+PAR. Assume his dress.
+
+CHÆR. His dress! what then?
+
+PAR. I'll carry you for him.
+
+CHÆR. I hear you.
+
+PAR. I will say that you are he.
+
+CHÆR. I understand you.
+
+PAR. So shall you enjoy
+Those blessings which but now you envied him:
+Eat with her, be with her, touch, toy with her,
+And sleep by her: since none of Thais' maids
+Know you, or dream of what you are. Besides,
+Your figure, and your age are such, that you
+May well pass for an Eunuch.
+
+CHÆR. Oh, well said!
+I ne'er heard better counsel. Come, let's in?
+Dress me, and carry me! Away, make haste!
+
+PAR. What are you at? I did but jest.
+
+CHÆR. You trifle.
+
+PAR. I'm ruin'd: fool, what have I done? Nay, whither
+D'ye push me thus? You'll throw me down. Nay, stay!
+
+CHÆR. Away.
+
+PAR. Nay, prithee!
+
+CHÆR. I'm resolv'd.
+
+PAR. Consider;
+You carry this too far.
+
+CHÆR. No, not at all.
+Give way!
+
+PAR. And Parmeno must pay for all.
+Ah, we do wrong!
+
+CHÆR. Is it then wrong for me
+To be convey'd into a house of harlots,
+And turn those very arts on them, with which
+They hamper us, and turn our youth to scorn?
+Can it be wrong for me too, in my turn,
+To deceive them, by whom we're all deceiv'd?
+No, rather let it be! 'tis just to play
+This trick upon them: which, if gray-beards know,
+They'll blame indeed, but all will think well done.
+
+PAR. Well, if you must, you must; but do not then,
+After all's over, throw the blame on me.
+
+CHÆR. No, no!
+
+PAR. But do you order me?
+
+CHÆR. I do:
+Order, command, force.
+
+PAR. Oh, I'll not dispute
+Your pow'r. So, follow me.
+
+CHÆR. Heav'n speed the plow.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+    SCENE III.
+  _Labeled SCENE IV in 1768 edition._
+
+    You know you've often told me; "Chærea,
+    ...
+    And mark how I will serve you!" ...
+  _Quotation marks supplied from 1768 edition_
+
+  _Harper_
+    CHÆR. Oh most unhappily! for other ills
+    May be told, Parmeno!--I could swear too
+  _Colman 1768_
+    CHÆR. Oh most unhappily! for lighter ills
+    May pass for inconvenient, Parmeno.
+    Nay, I could swear, with a safe conscience too
+
+    He hobbled up to me.--"Holo! ho! Chærea!"----
+  _All quotation marks in this speech supplied from 1768 edition_
+
+  _Harper_
+    CHÆR. Soon as I
+    Came hither, she was out of sight.
+    PAR. Had she
+    Any attendants?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    CHÆR. When I reach'd
+    This place, the girl was vanish'd.
+    PAR. Had your lady
+    Any attendants?
+
+  _Harper_
+    He and his gift together--I ne'er knew
+    Till now that Thais was our neighbor.
+    PAR. She
+    Has not been long so.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    He and his gift together--But till now
+    I never knew this Thais was our neighbour.
+    PAR. She came but lately.
+
+    PAR. Yes, faith.
+  _Harper edition has question mark_
+
+  _Harper_
+    His fellow-servant, see her, speak with her,
+    Be with her in the same house all day long,
+    And sometimes eat, and sometimes sleep by her.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    His fellow-servant, see her all day long,
+    Converse with her, dwell under the same roof,
+    And sometimes eat, and sometimes sleep by her.
+
+  _Harper_
+    Order, command, force.
+    PAR. Oh, I'll not dispute
+    Your pow'r. So, follow me.
+    CHÆR. Heav'n speed the plow.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Order, command, compel you; nor will e'er
+    Deny, or disavow my putting-on.
+    PAR. Come on then: follow me!
+    CHÆR. Heav'n grant success!]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE THIRD.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _Enter THRASO and GNATHO._
+
+THRASO. And Thais then returns me many thanks?
+
+GNAT. Ten thousand.
+
+THRA. Say, is she delighted with it?
+
+GNAT. Not so much with the gift itself, as that
+By you 'twas given: but therein she triumphs.
+
+_Enter PARMENO behind._
+
+PAR. I'm come to look about me, and observe
+A proper opportunity to bring
+My presents. But behold the Captain!
+
+THRA. 'Tis
+Something, I know not how, peculiar to me,
+That all I do 's agreeable.
+
+GNAT. In truth
+I have observ'd it.
+
+THRA. E'en the King always
+Held himself much obliged, whate'er I did:
+Not so to others.
+
+GNAT. Men of wit, like you,
+The glory, got by others' care and toil,
+Often transfer unto themselves.
+
+THRA. You've hit it.
+
+GNAT. The king then held you----
+
+THRA. Certainly.
+
+GNAT. Most dear.
+
+THRA. Most near. He trusted his whole army to me,
+His counsels.----
+
+GNAT. Wonderful!
+
+THRA. And then whene'er
+Satiety of company, or hate
+Of business seiz'd him--when he would repose----
+As if----you understand me.
+
+GNAT. Perfectly.
+When he would--in a manner--clear his stomach
+Of all uneasiness.
+
+THRA. The very thing.
+On such occasions he chose none but me.
+
+GNAT. Hui! there's a king indeed! a king of taste!
+
+THRA. One of a thousand.
+
+GNAT. Of a million sure!
+--If he could live with you. (_Aside._)
+
+THRA. The courtiers all
+Began to envy me, and rail'd in secret:
+I car'd not; whence their spleen increas'd the more.
+One in particular, who had the charge
+Of th' Indian elephants; who grew at last
+So very troublesome, "I prithee, Strato,
+Are you so savage, and so fierce, (says I,)
+Because you're governor of the wild beasts?"
+
+GNAT. Oh, finely said! and shrewdly! excellent!
+Too hard upon him!--what said he to't?
+
+THRA. Nothing.
+
+GNAT. And how the devil should he?
+
+PAR. Gracious Heav'n!
+The stupid coxcomb!--and that rascal too! (_Aside._)
+
+THRA. Aye! but the story of the Rhodian, Gnatho!
+How smart I was upon him at a feast----
+Did I ne'er tell you?
+
+GNAT. Never: but pray do!
+--I've heard it o'er and o'er a thousand times. (_Aside._)
+
+THRA. We were by chance together at a feast----
+This Rhodian, that I told you of and I.----
+I, as it happen'd, had a wench: the spark
+Began to toy with her, and laugh at me.
+"Why how now, Impudence! (said I,) are you
+A _hare_ yourself, and yet would hunt for _game_?"
+
+GNAT. Ha! ha! ha!
+
+THRA. What's the matter?
+
+GNAT. Ha! ha! ha!
+Witty! smart! excellent! incomparable!
+Is it your own? I swear I thought 'twas old.
+
+THRA. Why, did you ever hear it?
+
+GNAT. Very often;
+And reckon'd admirable.
+
+THRA. 'Tis my own.
+
+GNAT. And yet 'twas pity to be so severe
+On a young fellow, and a gentleman.
+
+PAR. Ah! devil take you! (_Aside._)
+
+GNAT. What became of him?
+
+THRA. It did for him. The company were all
+Ready to die with laughing:--in a word,
+They dreaded me.
+
+GNAT. No wonder.
+
+THRA. Harkye, Gnatho!
+Thais, you know, suspects I love this girl.
+Shall I acquit myself?
+
+GNAT. On no account.
+Rather increase her jealousy.
+
+THRA. And why?
+
+GNAT. Why?--do you ask?--as if you didn't know!----
+Whene'er she mentions Phædria, or whene'er
+She praises him, to vex you----
+
+THRA. I perceive.
+
+GNAT. To hinder that, you've only this resource.
+When she names Phædria, name you Pamphila.
+If she should say, "come! let's have Phædria
+To dinner with us!"--"aye, and Pamphila
+To sing to us!"--if she praise Phædria's person,
+Praise you the girl's! so give her tit for tat,
+And gall her in her turn.
+
+THRA. Suppose she lov'd me,
+This might avail me, Gnatho!
+
+GNAT. While she loves
+The presents which you give, expecting more,
+So long she loves you; and so long you may
+Have pow'r to vex her. She will always fear
+To make you angry, lest some other reap
+The harvest, which she now enjoys alone.
+
+THRA. You're right: and yet I never thought of it.
+
+GNAT. Ridiculous! because you did not turn
+Your thoughts that way; or with how much more ease
+Would you have hit on this device yourself!
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    GNAT. Not so much with the gift itself, as that
+    By you 'twas given: but therein she triumphs.
+    _Enter PARMENO behind._
+    PAR. I'm come to look about me, and observe
+    A proper opportunity to bring
+    My presents. But behold the Captain!
+    THRA. 'Tis
+    Something, I know not how, peculiar to me,
+    That all I do 's agreeable.
+    GNAT. In truth
+    I have observ'd it.
+    THRA. E'en the King always
+  _Colman 1768_
+    GNAT. Not for the present's sake so much, as that
+    From you it was presented: But therein
+    She truly triumphs.
+    _Enter PARMENO behind._
+    PAR. I'm upon the watch,
+    To mark a proper opportunity
+    To bring my presents. But behold the Captain? [with question mark]
+    THRA. It is, indeed, something, I know not how,
+    Peculiar to me, do whate'er I please,
+    It will appear agreeable.
+    GNAT. In truth
+    I always have observ'd it.
+    THRA. Ev'n the King
+
+  _Harper_
+    THRA. One of a thousand.
+    GNAT. Of a million sure!
+    --If he could live with you.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    THRA. No general man, I promise you.
+    GNAT. Oh no!
+    He must have been particular indeed,
+    If he convers'd with You.
+
+    If she should say, "come! let's have Phædria
+    ...
+  _quotation marks in this speech supplied from 1768 edition_]
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter THAIS and PYTHIAS._
+
+THAIS. I thought I heard the Captain's voice: and see!
+Good-day, my Thraso!
+
+THRA. Oh my Thais, welcome!
+How does my sweeting?--are you fond of me
+For sending you that music-girl?
+
+PAR. Oh brave!
+He sets out nobly!
+
+THAIS. For your worth I love you.
+
+GNAT. Come, let's to supper? why do you delay?
+
+PAR. Mark t'other! he's a chip of the old block.
+
+THAIS. I'm ready when you please.
+
+PAR. I'll up to her,
+And seem as if but now come forth.--Ha! Thais,
+Where are you gadding?
+
+THAIS. Well met, Parmeno!
+I was just going----
+
+PAR. Whither?
+
+THAIS. Don't you see
+The Captain?
+
+PAR. Yes, I see him--to my sorrow.
+The presents from my master wait your pleasure.
+
+THRA. Why do we stop thus? wherefore go not hence?
+(_Angrily._)
+
+PAR. Beseech you, Captain, let us, with your leave,
+Produce our presents, treat, and parley with her!
+
+THRA. Fine gifts, I warrant you, compar'd with mine!
+
+PAR. They'll answer for themselves--Holo, there! order
+The slaves, I told you, to come forth.--Here, this way!
+
+_Enter a BLACK GIRL._
+
+Do you stand forward!--This girl, ma'am, comes quite
+From Ethiopia.
+
+THRA. Worth about three Minæ.
+
+GNAT. Scarce.
+
+PAR. Ho! where are you, Dorus?--Oh, come hither!
+
+_Enter CHÆREA in the Eunuch's habit._
+
+An Eunuch, Madam! of a lib'ral air,
+And in his prime!
+
+THAIS. Now as I live, he's handsome!
+
+PAR. What say you, Gnatho? Is he despicable?
+Or, Captain, what say you?--Dumb?--Praise sufficient;
+Try him in letters, exercises, music:
+In all the arts, a gentleman should know,
+I'll warrant him accomplish'd.
+
+THRA. Troth, that Eunuch
+Is well enough.
+
+PAR. And he, who sends these presents,
+Requires you not to live for him alone,
+And for his sake to shut out all mankind:
+Nor does he tell his battles, show his wounds,
+Or shackle your free will, as some folks do.
+
+(_Looking at THRASO._)
+
+But when 'twill not be troublesome, or when
+You've leisure, in due season, he's content
+If then he is admitted.
+
+THRA. This poor fellow
+Seems to belong to a poor wretched master.
+
+GNAT. Beyond all doubt; for who that could obtain
+Another, would endure a slave like this?
+
+PAR. Peace, wretch, that art below the meanest slave!
+You that could bring your mind so very low,
+As to cry aye and no at yon fool's bidding,
+I'm sure, might get your bread out o'the fire.
+
+THRA. Why don't we go? (_Impatiently._)
+
+THAIS. Let me but carry in
+These first, and give some orders in the house,
+And I'll attend you. (_Exit with CHÆREA, and the Ethiopian._
+
+THRA. I'll depart from hence.
+Gnatho, wait you for her!
+
+PAR. It ill beseems
+The dignity of a renown'd commander,
+T' escort his mistress in the street.
+
+THRA. Away,
+Slave! you're beneath my notice--like your master.
+(_Exit PARMENO._
+
+GNAT. Ha! ha! ha! ha!
+
+THRA. What moves your laughter?
+
+GNAT. That
+You said just now: and then the Rhodian came
+Across my mind.----But Thais comes.
+
+THRA. Go run,
+And see that ev'ry thing's prepar'd at home!
+
+GNAT. It shall be done. (_Exit._
+
+THAIS (_entering with PYTHIAS_). Take care now, Pythias,
+Great care, if Chremes come, to press him stay;
+Or, if that's inconvenient, to return:
+If that's impossible, then bring him to me!
+
+PYTH. I'll do so.
+
+THAIS. Hold! what else had I to say?
+Take care, be sure, of yonder virgin! see,
+You keep at home.
+
+THRA. Let's go.
+
+THAIS. Girls, follow me!
+
+(_Exit, attended by Servants and THRASO._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    PAR. They'll answer for themselves--Holo, there! order
+    The slaves, I told you, to come forth.--Here, this way!
+    _Enter a BLACK GIRL._
+    Do you stand forward!--This girl, ma'am, comes quite
+    From Ethiopia.
+    THRA. Worth about three Minæ.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PAR. They'll answer for themselves--Ho, there! within!
+    Order the slaves, I told you, to come forth.
+    _Enter a BLACK GIRL._
+    This way! do you stand forward!--This girl, ma'am,
+    Comes quite from Æthiopia.
+    THRA. Worth three Minæ.
+
+  _Harper_
+    THAIS. Let me but carry in
+  _Colman 1768_
+    THAIS. Let me but introduce
+
+  _Harper_
+    THRA. What moves your laughter?
+    GNAT. That
+    You said just now: and then the Rhodian came
+  _Colman 1768_
+    THRA. What moves your laughter, Gnatho?
+    GNAT. Your speech but now: and then the Rhodian came]
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _CHREMES alone._
+
+In truth the more and more I think, the more
+I am convinc'd that Thais means me ill:
+So plain I see her arts to draw me in.
+Ev'n when she first invited me, (and when
+Had any ask'd, _What business have you there?_
+The question would have stagger'd me,) she fram'd
+Sev'ral excuses to detain me there.
+Said she had made a sacrifice, and had
+Affairs of consequence to settle with me.
+--Oho! thought I immediately, I smell
+A trick upon me!--down she sat, behav'd
+Familiarly, and tried to beat about
+For conversation. Being at a loss,
+She ask'd, how long my parents had been dead?
+--I told her, long time since:--on which she ask'd,
+Whether I had a country-house at Sunium?
+--And how far from the sea?--I half believe
+She likes my villa, and would wheedle me
+To give it her.--Her final questions were,
+If I ne'er lost a little sister thence?
+--Who was miss'd with her?--what she had when lost?
+If any one could know her? Why should Thais
+Demand all this, unless,--a saucy baggage!----
+She means to play the counterfeit, and feign
+Herself that sister?--but if she's alive,
+She is about sixteen, not more; Thais
+Is elder than myself.--She sent beside
+To beg I'd come again.--Or, let her say
+What she would have; or, not be troublesome!
+I'll not return a third time.--Ho! who's there?
+Here am I! Chremes!
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    If any one could know her? Why should Thais
+    Demand all this, unless,--a saucy baggage!----
+    She means to play the counterfeit, and feign
+    Herself that sister?--but if she's alive,
+    She is about sixteen, not more; Thais
+    Is elder than myself.--She sent beside
+    To beg I'd come again.--Or, let her say
+    What she would have; or, not be troublesome!
+  _Colman 1768_
+    --If there was any body capable
+    Of recollecting her?--Why all these questions?
+    Unless perhaps she means,--a saucy baggage!--
+    To play the counterfeit, and feign herself
+    That sister, who was lost so long ago?
+    But she, if living, is about sixteen;
+    Not more: and Thais older than myself.
+    She sent beside to press me earnestly
+    To visit her again.--Or, let her say
+    What she would have; or, trouble me no more!]
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Enter PYTHIAS._
+
+PYTH. Oh, sweet, charming, Sir!
+
+CHRE. A coaxing hussy!
+
+PYTH. Thais begs and prays
+You'd come again to-morrow.
+
+CHRE. I am going
+Into the country.
+
+PYTH. Nay, now prithee come?
+
+CHRE. I can't, I tell you.
+
+PYTH. Walk in, then, and stay
+Till she returns herself.
+
+CHRE. Not I.
+
+PYTH. And why,
+Dear Chremes?
+
+CHRE. Go, and hang yourself!
+
+PYTH. Well, Sir,
+Since you're so positive, shall I entreat you
+To go to her?
+
+CHRE. I will.
+
+PYTH. Here, Dorias! (_A maid-servant enters._)
+Conduct this gentleman to Captain Thraso's.
+
+(_PYTHIAS re-enters.--CHREMES goes out another way with DORIAS._)
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    CHRE. Go, and hang yourself!
+  _Colman 1768_
+    CHRE. Off, you saucy slut!]
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _ANTIPHO alone._
+
+But yesterday a knot of us young fellows
+Assembled at Piræus, and agreed
+To club together for a feast to-day.
+Chærea had charge of all; the rings were given,
+And time and place appointed.--The time's past;
+No entertainment's at the place; and Chærea
+Is nowhere to be found.--I can't tell what
+To think on't.--Yet the rest of my companions
+Have all commission'd me to seek him out.
+I'll see if he's at home;--but who comes here
+From Thais?--Is it he, or no?--'Tis he.----
+--What manner of man's here?--what habit's that?
+--What mischief has the rogue been at? I'm all
+Astonishment, and can not guess.--But I'll
+Withdraw a while, and try to find it out. (_Retires._)
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    Is nowhere to be found.--I can't tell what
+    To think on't.--Yet the rest of my companions
+    Have all commission'd me to seek him out.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Is no where to be met with.--For my part,
+    I'm quite to seek in this; and what to say,
+    Or guess, I know not.--Yet the company
+    Have all commission'd me to find him out.
+
+  _Harper_
+    --What mischief has the rogue been at? I'm all
+    Astonishment, and can not guess.--But I'll
+    Withdraw a while, and try to find it out.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    --What mischief is the meaning of all this?
+    I'm all astonishment, and can not guess.
+    But I'll withdraw a while, and try to learn.]
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _Enter CHÆREA, in the Eunuch's habit._
+
+CHÆR. (_looking about_). Is any body here?--No, nobody.
+Does any follow me?--No, nobody.
+May I then let my ecstasy break forth!
+O Jupiter! 'tis now the very time,
+When I could suffer to be put to death,
+Lest not another transport like to this,
+Remain in life to come.--But is there not
+Some curious impertinent to come
+Across me now, and murder me with questions?
+--To ask, why I'm so flutter'd? why so joyful?
+Whither I'm going? whence I came? and where
+I got this habit? what I'm looking after?
+Whether I'm in my senses? or stark mad?
+
+ANTI. I'll go myself, and do that kindness to him.
+Chærea, (_advancing_,) what's all this flutter? what's this dress?
+What is't transports you? what d'ye want? art mad?
+Why do ye start at me? and why not speak?
+
+CHÆR. O happy, happy day!--Save you, dear friend!
+There's not a man on earth I'd rather see
+This moment than yourself.
+
+ANTI. Come, tell me all!
+
+CHÆR. Tell you! I will beseech you give me hearing.
+D'ye know my brother's mistress here?
+
+ANTI. Yes: Thais,
+Or I'm deceiv'd.
+
+CHÆR. The same.
+
+ANTI. I do remember.
+
+CHÆR. To-day a girl was sent a present to her.
+Why need I speak or praise her beauty now
+To you, that know me, and my taste so well?
+She set me all on fire.
+
+ANTI. Is she so handsome?
+
+CHÆR. Most exquisite: Oh, had you but once seen her,
+You would pronounce her, I am confident,
+The first of womankind.--But to be brief,
+I fell in love with her.--By great good luck
+There was at home an Eunuch, which my brother
+Had bought for Thais, but not yet sent thither.
+--I had a gentle hint from Parmeno,
+Which I seiz'd greedily.
+
+ANTI. And what was that?
+
+CHÆR. Peace, and I'll tell you.--To change dresses with him,
+And order Parmeno to carry me
+Instead of him.
+
+ANTI. How? for an Eunuch, you?
+
+CHÆR. E'en so.
+
+ANTI. What good could you derive from that?
+
+CHÆR. What good!--why, see, and hear, and be with her
+I languish'd for, my Antipho!--was that
+An idle reason, or a trivial good?
+--To Thais I'm deliver'd; she receives me,
+And carries me with joy into her house;
+Commits the charming girl----
+
+ANTI. To whom?----to you?
+
+CHÆR. To me.
+
+ANTI. In special hands, I must confess.
+
+CHÆR. --Enjoins me to permit no man come near her;
+Nor to depart, myself, one instant from her;
+But in an inner chamber to remain
+Alone with her alone. I nod, and look
+Bashfully on the ground.
+
+ANTI. Poor simple soul!
+
+CHÆR. I am bid forth, says she; and carries off
+All her maid-servants with her, save some few
+Raw novices, who straight prepar'd the bath.
+I bade them haste; and while it was preparing,
+In a retiring-room the Virgin sat;
+Viewing a picture, where the tale was drawn
+Of Jove's descending in a golden show'r
+To Danae's bosom.----I beheld it too,
+And because he of old the like game play'd,
+I felt my mind exult the more within me,
+That Jove should change himself into a man,
+And steal in secret through a stranger-roof,
+With a mere woman to intrigue.--Great Jove,
+Who shakes the highest heav'ns with his thunder!
+And I, poor mortal man, not do the same!----
+I did it, and with all my heart I did it.
+--While thoughts, like these, possess'd my soul, they call'd
+The girl to bathe. She goes, bathes, then returns:
+Which done, the servants put her into bed.
+I stand to wait their orders. Up comes one,
+"Here, harkye, Dorus! take this fan and mark
+You cool her gently thus, while we go bathe.
+When we have bath'd, you, if you please, bathe too,"
+I, with a sober air, receive the fan.
+
+ANTI. Then would I fain have seen your simple face!
+I should have been delighted to behold
+How like an ass you look'd, and held the fan.
+
+CHÆR. Scarce had she spoke, when all rush'd out o' doors;
+Away they go to bathe; grow full of noise,
+As servants use, when masters are abroad.
+Meanwhile sleep seiz'd the virgin: I, by stealth,
+Peep'd through the fan-sticks thus; then looking round,
+And seeing all was safe, made fast the door.
+
+ANTI. What then?
+
+CHÆR. What then, fool!
+
+ANTI. I confess.
+
+CHÆR. D'ye think,
+Bless'd with an opportunity like this,
+So short, so wish'd for, yet so unexpected,
+I'd let it slip? No. Then I'd been, indeed,
+The thing I counterfeited.
+
+ANTI. Very true.
+But what's become of our club-supper?
+
+CHÆR. Ready.
+
+ANTI. An honest fellow! where? at your own house?
+
+CHÆR. At Freeman Discus's.
+
+ANTI. A great way off.
+
+CHÆR. Then we must make more haste.
+
+ANTI. But change your dress.
+
+CHÆR. Where can I change it? I'm distress'd. From home
+I must play truant, lest I meet my brother.
+My father too, perhaps, is come to town.
+
+ANTI. Come then to my house! that's the nearest place
+Where you may shift.
+
+CHÆR. With all my heart! let's go!
+And at the same time, I'll consult with you
+How to enjoy this dear girl.
+
+ANTI. Be it so.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    Whither I'm going? whence I came? and where
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Whither I'm going? from whence I came? and where
+
+  _Harper_
+    ANTI. Yes: Thais,
+    Or I'm deceiv'd.
+    CHÆR. The same.
+    ANTI. I do remember.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    ANTI. I do:
+    Thais, I think.
+    CHÆR. The same.
+    ANTI. I recollect.
+
+  _Harper_
+    The first of womankind.--But to be brief
+  _Colman 1768_
+    The first of womankind.--But in a word
+
+    To Danae's bosom.
+  _Harper edition misprints "Danæ's"_
+
+    "Here, harkye, Dorus! take this fan ...
+  _quotation marks in this speech supplied from 1768 edition_
+
+  _Harper_
+    ANTI. Come then to my house! that's the nearest place
+  _Colman 1768_
+    ANTI. Come to my house then! that's the nearest place]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FOURTH.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _Enter DORIAS, with a Casket._
+
+DORIAS.
+
+Now, as I hope for mercy, I'm afraid,
+From what I've seen, lest yonder swaggerer
+Make some disturbance, or do violence
+To Thais. For as soon as Chremes came,
+(The youth that's brother to the virgin,) she
+Beseech'd of Thraso he might be admitted.
+This piqu'd him; yet he durst not well refuse.
+She, fearing Chremes should not be detain'd,
+Till she had time and opportunity
+To tell him all she wish'd about his sister,
+Urg'd Thraso more and more to ask him in.
+The Captain coldly asks him; down he sat;
+And Thais enter'd into chat with him.
+The Captain, fancying a rival brought
+Before his face, resolv'd to vex her too:
+"Here, boy," said he, "let Pamphila be call'd
+To entertain us!"--"Pamphila!" cries Thais;
+"She at a banquet?--No it must not be."----
+Thraso insisting on't, a broil ensued:
+On which my mistress slyly slipping off
+Her jewels, gave them me to bear away;
+Which is, I know, a certain sign, she will,
+As soon as possible, sneak off herself. _Exit._)
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _all quotation marks isupplied from 1768 edition_
+
+  _Harper_
+    (The youth that's brother to the virgin,) she
+    Beseech'd of Thraso he might be admitted.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    (Chremes, the youth that's brother to the virgin,)
+    She beg'd of Thraso, he might be admitted.]
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter PHÆDRIA._
+
+PHÆD. Going into the country, I began
+(As happens when the mind is ill at ease)
+To ponder with myself upon the road,
+Tossing from thought to thought, and viewing all
+In the worst light. While thus I ruminate,
+I pass unconsciously my country-house,
+And had got far beyond, ere I perceiv'd it.
+I turn'd about, but with a heavy heart;
+And soon as to the very spot I came
+Where the roads part, I stop. Then paus'd a while:
+"Alas! thought I, and must I here remain]
+Two days? alone: without her?--Well! what then?
+That's nothing.--What, is't nothing?--If I've not
+The privilege to touch her, shall I not
+Behold her neither?--If _one_ may not be,
+At least the _other_ shall.--And certainly
+Love, in its last degree, is something still."
+--Then I, on purpose, pass'd the house.--But see!
+Pythias breaks forth affrighted.--What means this?
+
+  [Changes:
+
+    "Alas! thought I ...
+  _quotation marks in this speech supplied from 1768 edition_
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Enter PYTHIAS and DORIAS; PHÆDRIA at a distance._
+
+PYTH. Where shall I find, unhappy that I am,
+Where seek this rascal-slave?--this slave, that durst
+To do a deed like this?--Undone! undone!
+
+PHÆD. What this may be, I dread.
+
+PYTH. And then the villain,
+After he had abused the virgin, tore
+The poor girl's clothes, and dragg'd her by the hair.
+
+PHÆD. How's this!
+
+PYTH. Who, were he now within my reach,
+How could I fly upon the vagabond,
+And tear the villain's eyes out with my nails?
+
+PHÆD. What tumult's this, arisen in my absence?
+I'll go and ask her.-- (_Going up._) What's the matter, Pythias?
+Why thus disturb'd? and whom is it you seek?
+
+PYTH. Whom do I seek? Away, Sir Phædria!
+You and your gifts together!
+
+PHÆD. What's the matter?
+
+PYTH. The matter, Sir! the Eunuch, that you sent us,
+Has made fine work here! the young virgin, whom
+The Captain gave my mistress, he has ravish'd.
+
+PHÆD. Ravish'd? How say you?
+
+PYTH. Ruin'd, and undone!
+
+PHÆD. You're drunk.
+
+PYTH. Would those who wish me ill were so!
+
+DORI. Ah Pythias! what strange prodigy is this?
+
+PHÆD. You're mad: how could an Eunuch----
+
+PYTH. I don't know
+Or who, or what he was.--What he has done,
+The thing itself declares.----The virgin weeps,
+Nor, when you ask what ails her, dare she tell.
+But he, good man, is nowhere to be found:
+And I fear too, that when he stole away,
+He carried something off.
+
+PHÆD. I can't conceive
+Whither the rascal can have flown, unless
+He to our house, perhaps, slunk back again.
+
+PYTH. See now, I pray you, if he has.
+
+PHÆD. I will. (_Exit._
+
+DORI. Good lack! so strange a thing I never heard.
+
+PYTH. I've heard, that they lov'd women mightily
+But could do nothing; yet I never thought on't:
+For if I had, I'd have confin'd him close
+In some by-place, nor trusted the girl to him.
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Re-enter PHÆDRIA, with DORUS the Eunuch, in CHÆREA'S clothes._
+
+PHÆD. Out, rascal, out!--What are you resty, Sirrah?
+Out, thou vile bargain!
+
+DOR. Dear Sir! (_Crying._)
+
+PHÆD. See the wretch!
+What a wry mouth he makes!--Come, what's the meaning
+Of your returning? and your change of dress?
+What answer, Sirrah!--If I had delay'd
+A minute longer, Pythias, I had miss'd him,
+He was equipp'd so bravely for his flight.
+
+PYTH. What, have you got the rogue?
+
+PHÆD. I warrant you.
+
+PYTH. Well done! well done!
+
+DORI. Aye, marry, very well.
+
+PYTH. Where is he?
+
+PHÆD. Don't you see him?
+
+PYTH. See him? whom?
+
+PHÆD. This fellow, to be sure.
+
+PYTH. This man! who is he?
+
+PHÆD. He that was carried to your house to-day.
+
+PYTH. None of our people ever laid their eyes
+Upon this fellow, Phædria!
+
+PHÆD. Never saw him?
+
+PYTH. Why, did you think this fellow had been brought
+To us?
+
+PHÆD. Yes, surely; for I had no other.
+
+PYTH. Oh dear! this fellow's not to be compar'd
+To t'other.--He was elegant, and handsome.
+
+PHÆD. Aye, so he might appear a while ago,
+Because he had gay clothes on: now he seems
+Ugly, because he's stripped.
+
+PYTH. Nay, prithee, peace!
+As if the diff'rence was so very small!----
+The youth conducted to our house to-day,
+'Twould do you good to cast your eyes on, Phædria:
+This is a drowsy, wither'd, weasel-fac'd,
+Old fellow.
+
+PHÆD. How?----you drive me to that pass,
+That I scarce know what I have done myself.
+--Did not I buy you, rascal? (_To DORUS._)
+
+DOR. Yes, Sir.
+
+PYTH. Order him
+To answer me.
+
+PHÆD. Well, question him.
+
+PYTH. (_to DORUS_). Was you
+Brought here to-day? (_Shakes his head._) See there! Not he. It was
+Another, a young lad, about sixteen,
+Whom Parmeno brought with him.
+
+PHÆD. (_to DORUS_). Speak to me!
+First tell me, whence had you that coat? What, dumb?
+I'll make you speak, you villain? (_Beating him._)
+
+DOR. Chærea came---- (_Crying._)
+
+PHÆD. My brother?
+
+DOR. Yes, Sir!
+
+PHÆD. When?
+
+DOR. To-day.
+
+PHÆD. How long since?
+
+DOR. Just now.
+
+PHÆD. With whom?
+
+DOR. With Parmeno.
+
+PHÆD. Did you
+Know him before?
+
+DOR. No, Sir; nor e'er heard of him.
+
+PHÆD. How did you know then that he was my brother?
+
+DOR. Parmeno told me so; and Chærea
+Gave me these clothes----
+
+PHÆD. Confusion! (_Aside._)
+
+DOR. Put on mine;
+And then they both went out o' doors together.
+
+PYTH. Now, Sir, do you believe that I am sober?
+Now do you think, I've told no lie? And now
+Are you convinc'd the girl has been abus'd!
+
+PHÆD. Away, fool! d'ye believe what this wretch says?
+
+PYTH. What signifies belief?--It speaks itself.
+
+PHÆD. (_apart to DORUS_). Come this way--hark ye! ----further still.
+    ----Enough.
+Tell me once more. ----Did Chærea strip you?
+
+DOR. Yes.
+
+PHÆD. And put your clothes on?
+
+DOR. Yes, Sir!
+
+PHÆD. And was brought
+In your stead hither?
+
+DOR. Yes.
+
+PHÆD. Great Jupiter! (_Pretending to be in a passion with him._)
+What a most wicked scoundrel's this?
+
+PYTH. Alas!
+Don't you believe, then, we've been vilely us'd?
+
+PHÆD. No wonder if you credit what he says.
+I don't know what to do. (_Aside._)--Here, harkye, Sirrah!
+Deny it all again. (_Apart to DORUS._)--What! can't I beat
+The truth out of you, rascal?--have you seen
+My brother Chærea? (_Aloud, and beating him._)
+
+DOR. No, Sir! (_Crying._)
+
+PHÆD. So! I see
+He won't confess without a beating.--This way! (_Apart._) Now
+He owns it; now denies it.--Ask my pardon! (_Apart._)
+
+DOR. Beseech you, Sir, forgive me!
+
+PHÆD. Get you gone. (_Kicking him._)
+Oh me! oh dear! (_Exit, howling._
+
+PHÆD. (_aside_). I had no other way
+To come off handsomely.--We're all undone.
+--D'ye think to play your tricks on me, you rascal?
+  (_Aloud, and Exit after DORUS._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    PHÆD. How did you know then that he was my brother?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PHÆD. How did you know he was my brother then?]
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _Manent PYTHIAS and DORIAS._
+
+PYTH. As sure as I'm alive, this is a trick
+Of Parmeno's.
+
+DORI. No doubt on't.
+
+PYTH. I'll devise
+Some means to-day to fit him for't.--But now
+What would you have me do?
+
+DORI. About the girl!
+
+PYTH. Aye; shall I tell; or keep the matter secret?
+
+DORI. Troth, if you're wise you know not what you know,
+Nor of the Eunuch, nor the ravishment:
+So shall you clear yourself of all this trouble,
+And do a kindness to our mistress too.
+Say nothing, but that Dorus is gone off.
+
+PYTH. I'll do so.
+
+DORI. Prithee is not Chremes yonder?
+Thais will soon be here.
+
+PYTH. How so?
+
+DORI. Because
+When I came thence, a quarrel was abroach
+Among them.
+
+PYTH. Carry in the jewels, Dorias.
+Meanwhile I'll learn of Chremes what has happen'd.
+  (_Exit DORIAS._
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _Enter CHREMES tipsy._
+
+CHREM. So! so!--I'm in for't--and the wine I've drank
+Has made me reel again.--Yet while I sat,
+How sober I suppos'd myself!--But I
+No sooner rose, than neither foot, nor head,
+Knew their own business!
+
+PYTH. Chremes!
+
+CHREM. Who's that?--Ha!
+Pythias!--How much more handsome you seem now,
+Than you appear'd a little while ago!
+
+PYTH. I'm sure you seem a good deal merrier.
+
+CHREM. I'faith it's an old saying, and a true one,
+"Ceres and Bacchus are warm friends of Venus."
+--But, pray, has Thais been here long before me?
+
+PYTH. Has she yet left the Captain's?
+
+CHREM. Long time since:
+An age ago. They've had a bloody quarrel.
+
+PYTH. Did not she bid you follow her?
+
+CHREM. Not she:
+Only she made a sign to me at parting.
+
+PYTH. Well, wasn't that enough?
+
+CHREM. No, faith! I did not
+At all conceive her meaning, till the Captain
+Gave me the hint, and kick'd me out o' doors!
+--But here she is! I wonder how it was,
+I overtook her!
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    CHREM. No, faith! I did not
+    At all conceive her meaning, till the Captain
+  _Colman 1768_
+    CHREM. No, faith! I never
+    At all conceiv'd her meaning, till the Captain]
+
+
+SCENE VII.
+
+  _Enter THAIS._
+
+THAIS. I am apt to think,
+The Captain will soon follow me, to take
+The virgin from me: Well then, let him come!
+But if he does but lay a finger on her,
+We'll tear his eyes out.--His impertinence.
+And big words, while mere words, I can endure;
+But if he comes to action, woe be to him!
+
+CHREM. Thais, I have been here some time.
+
+THAIS. My Chremes!
+The very man I wanted!--Do you know
+That you have been th' occasion of this quarrel?
+And that this whole affair relates to you?
+
+CHREM. To me! how so?
+
+THAIS. Because, while I endeavor,
+And study to restore your sister to you,
+This and much more I've suffer'd.
+
+CHREM. Where's my sister?
+
+THAIS. Within, at my house.
+
+CHREM. Ha! (_With concern._)
+
+THAIS. Be not alarm'd:
+She has been well brought up, and in a manner
+Worthy herself and you.
+
+CHREM. Indeed?
+
+THAIS. 'Tis true:
+And now most freely I restore her to you,
+Demanding nothing of you in return.
+
+CHREM. I feel your goodness, Thais, and shall ever
+Remain much bounden to you.
+
+THAIS. Aye, but now
+Take heed, my Chremes, lest ere you receive
+The maid from me, you lose her! for 'tis she,
+Whom now the Captain comes to take by storm.
+--Pythias, go, fetch the casket with the proofs!
+
+CHREM. D'ye see him, Thais? (_Looking out._)
+
+PYTH. Where's the casket plac'd?
+
+THAIS. Plac'd in the cabinet.--D'ye loiter, hussy?
+(_Exit PYTHIAS._
+
+CHREM. What force the Captain brings with him against you!
+Good Heav'n!
+
+THAIS. Are you afraid, young gentleman?
+
+CHREM. Away!--who? I? afraid?--There is no man
+Alive less so.
+
+THAIS. You'd need be stout at present.
+
+CHREM. What kind of man d'ye take me for?
+
+THAIS. Consider,
+He, whom you've now to cope with, is a stranger
+Less powerful than you, less known, and less
+Befriended here than you!
+
+CHREM. I know all that:
+But why, like fools, admit what we may shun?
+Better prevent a wrong, than afterward
+Revenge it, when receiv'd----Do you step in,
+And bolt the door, while I run to the Forum,
+And call some officers to our assistance. (_Going._)
+
+THAIS. Stay! (_Holding him._)
+
+CHREM. 'Twill be better.
+
+THAIS. Hold!
+
+CHREM. Nay, let me go!
+I'll soon be back.
+
+THAIS. We do not want them, Chremes.
+Say, only, that this maiden is your sister,
+And that you lost her when a child, and now
+Know her again for yours.
+
+_Enter PYTHIAS._
+
+THAIS (_to PYTH._) Produce the proofs!
+
+PYTH. Here they are.
+
+THAIS. Take them, Chremes!--If the Captain
+Attempts to do you any violence,
+Lead him before a magistrate. D'ye mark me?
+
+CHREM. I do.
+
+THAIS. Be sure now speak with a good courage!
+
+CHREM. I will.
+
+THAIS. Come, gather up your cloak.----Undone!
+I've got a champion, who wants help himself.
+
+(_Exeunt._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+    THAIS. 'Tis true:
+  _opening apostrophe missing in Harper edition_
+
+  _Harper_
+    PYTH. Where's the casket plac'd?
+    THAIS. Plac'd in the cabinet.--D'ye loiter, hussy?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PYTH. Where does the casket stand?
+    THAIS. Upon the cabinet.--D'ye loiter, hussy?
+
+  _Harper_
+    CHREM. Away!--who? I? afraid?--There is no man
+    Alive less so.
+    THAIS. You'd need be stout at present.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    CHREM. Away!--who? I? afraid?--No mortal less.
+    THAIS. Nay, you had need be stout at present, Chremes.]
+
+  _Harper_
+    I've got a champion, who wants help himself.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    My champion wants a champion for himself.]
+
+
+SCENE VIII.
+
+  _Enter THRASO, GNATHO, SANGA, etc._
+
+THRASO. Shall I put up with an affront so gross,
+So monstrous, Gnatho?--No, I'd rather die.
+Simalio, Donax, Syrus, follow me!
+First, I will storm their castle.
+
+GNAT. Excellent!
+
+THRA. Next carry off the Virgin.
+
+GNAT. Admirable!
+
+THRA. Then punish Thais herself.
+
+GNAT. Incomparable!
+
+THRA. Here, in the centre, Donax, with your club!
+Do you, Simalio, charge on the left wing!
+You, Syrus, on the right!--Bring up the rest!
+Where's the Centurion Sanga, and his band
+Of rascal runaways?
+
+SAN. Here, Sir!
+
+THRA. How now?
+Think'st thou to combat with a dish-clout, slave!
+That thus thou bring'st it here?
+
+SAN. Ah, Sir! I knew
+The valor of the gen'ral and his troops;
+And seeing this affair must end in blood,
+I brought a clout, to wipe the wounds withal.
+
+THRA. Where are the rest?
+
+SAN. Rest! Plague, whom d'ye mean?
+There's nobody, but Sannio, left at home.
+
+THRA. Lead you the van (_to GNATHO_); and I'll bring up the rear:
+Thence give the word to all.
+
+GNAT. What wisdom is!
+Now he has drawn up these in rank and file,
+His post behind secures him a retreat.
+
+THRA. Just so his line of battle Pyrrhus form'd.
+
+(_CHREMES and THAIS appear above at a window._)
+
+CHREM. D'ye see, my Thais, what he is about?
+To bar and bolt the doors was good advice.
+
+THAIS. Tut, man! you fool, that seems so mighty brave,
+Is a mere coward. Do not be afraid!
+
+THRA. What were best? (_To GNATHO._)
+
+GNAT. Troth, I wish you had a sling:
+That you from far in ambush might attack them!
+They'd soon fly then, I warrant you.
+
+THRA. But see!
+Thais appears.
+
+GNAT. Let's charge them then! Come on!
+
+THRA. Halt!--'Tis the part of a wise general
+To try all methods, ere he come to arms.
+How do you know, but Thais may obey
+My orders without force?
+
+GNAT. Oh, gracious Heavens!
+Of what advantage is it to be wise!
+I ne'er approach but I go wiser from you.
+
+THRA. Thais, first answer this! Did you, or no,
+When I presented you the Virgin, promise,
+To give yourself some days to me alone?
+
+THAIS. What then?
+
+THRA. Is that a question, when you durst
+To bring a rival to my face?
+
+THAIS. And what
+Business have you with him?
+
+THRA. ----And then stole off
+In company with him?
+
+THAIS. It was my pleasure.
+
+THRA. Therefore, restore my Pamphila; unless
+You choose to see her carried off by force.
+
+CHREM. She restore Pamphila to you? Or you
+Attempt to touch her, rascal?
+
+GNAT. Ah, beware!
+Peace, peace, young gentleman!
+
+THRA. (_to CHREM._) What is't you mean?
+Shall I not touch my own?
+
+CHREM. Your own, you scoundrel?
+
+GNAT. Take heed! you know not whom you rail at thus.
+
+CHREM. Won't you be gone?--here, hark ye, Sir! d'ye know
+How matters stand with you?--if you attempt
+To raise a riot in this place to-day,
+I'll answer for it, that you shall remember
+This place, to-day, and me, your whole life-long.
+
+GNAT. I pity you: to make so great a man
+Your enemy!
+
+CHREM. Hence! or I'll break your head.
+
+GNAT. How's that, you hang-dog? Are you for that sport?
+
+THRA. Who are you, fellow?--what d'ye mean?--and what
+Have you to do with Pamphila?
+
+CHREM. I'll tell you,
+First, I declare, that she's a free-born woman!
+
+THRA. How?
+
+CHREM. And a citizen of Athens.
+
+THRA. Hui!
+
+CHREM. My sister.
+
+THRA. Impudence!
+
+CHREM. So, Captain, now
+I give you warning, offer her no force!
+--Thais, I'll now to Sophrona, the Nurse,
+And bring her here with me to see the proofs.
+
+THRA. And you prohibit me to touch my own?
+
+CHREM. Yes, I prohibit you.
+
+GNAT. D'ye hear? he owns
+The robbery himself. Isn't that sufficient?
+
+THRA. And, Thais, you maintain the same?
+
+THAIS. Ask those
+Who care to answer. (_Shuts down the window._)
+
+_Manent THRASO and GNATHO, etc._
+
+THRA. What shall we do now?
+
+GNAT. Why--e'en go back again!--This harlot here
+Will soon be with you to request forgiveness.
+
+THRA. D'ye think so?
+
+GNAT. Aye, most certainly. I know
+The ways of women.--When you will, they won't;
+And when you won't, they're dying for you.
+
+THRA. True.
+
+GNAT. Shall I disband the army?
+
+THRA. When you will.
+
+GNAT. Sanga, as well becomes a brave militia,
+Take to your houses and firesides again.
+
+SAN. My mind was like a sop i' th' pan, long since.
+
+GNAT. Good fellow!
+
+SAN. To the right about there! march!
+(_Exit, with GNATHO and THRASO at the head of the troops._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    THRA. Is that a question, when you durst
+    To bring a rival to my face?
+    THAIS. And what
+    Business have you with him?
+    THRA. ----And then stole off
+    In company with him?
+    THAIS. It was my pleasure.
+    THRA. Therefore, restore my Pamphila ...
+  _Colman 1768_
+    THRA. Is that a question, when you brought
+    Your lover to affront me to my face?--
+    THAIS. What business have you with him?
+    THRA. ----And stole off
+    In company with him?
+    THAIS. It was my pleasure.
+    THRA. Therefore, restore me Pamphila ...]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FIFTH.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _THAIS and PYTHIAS._
+
+THAIS. Still, still, you, baggage, will you shuffle with me?
+--"I know--I don't know--he's gone off--I've heard----
+I was not present"--Be it what it may,
+Can't you inform me openly?--The Virgin,
+Her clothes all torn, in sullen silence weeps.
+The Eunuch's fled.--What means all this? and what
+Has happen'd?--Won't you answer me?
+
+PYTH. Alas!
+What can I answer you?--He was, they say,
+No Eunuch.
+
+THAIS. What then?
+
+PYTH. Chærea.
+
+THAIS. Chærea!
+What Chærea?
+
+PYTH. Phædria's younger brother.
+
+THAIS. How!
+What's that, hag?
+
+PYTH. I've discover'd it: I'm sure on't.
+
+THAIS. Why, what had he to do with us? or why
+Was he brought hither?
+
+PYTH. That I can not tell;
+Unless, as I suppose, for love of Pamphila.
+
+THAIS. Alas! I am undone; undone, indeed,
+If that, which you have told me now, be true.
+Is't that the girl bemoans thus?
+
+PYTH. I believe so.
+
+THAIS. How, careless wretch! was that the charge I gave you
+At my departure?
+
+PYTH. What could I do? She
+Was trusted, as you bade, to him alone.
+
+THAIS. Oh, jade, you set the wolf to keep the sheep
+--I'm quite asham'd to 've been so poorly bubbled.
+
+PYTH. Who comes here?--Hist! peace, madam, I beseech you!
+We're safe: we have the very man.
+    (_Seeing CHÆREA at a distance._)
+
+THAIS. Where is he?
+
+PYTH. Here, on the left; d'ye see him, ma'am?
+
+THAIS. I see him.
+
+PYTH. Let him be seiz'd immediately!
+
+THAIS. And what
+Can we do to him, fool?
+
+PYTH. Do to him, say you?
+--See, what a saucy face the rogue has got!
+Ha'nt he?--and then how settled an assurance?
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter CHÆREA._
+
+CHÆR. At Antipho's, as if for spite, there were
+His father and his mother both at home,
+So that I could by no means enter, but
+They must have seen me. Meanwhile, as I stood
+Before the door, came by an old acquaintance,
+At sight of whom I flew, with all my speed,
+Into a narrow, unfrequented alley;
+And thence into another, and another,
+Frighten'd and flurried as I scampered on,
+Lest any one should know me.--But is that
+Thais? 'Tis she herself. I'm all aground.
+What shall I do?--Pshaw! what have I to care?
+What can she do to me?
+
+THAIS. Let's up to him.
+Oh, Dorus! good Sir, welcome!--And so, Sirrah,
+You ran away.
+
+CHÆR. Yes, madam!
+
+THAIS. And you think
+It was a clever trick?
+
+CHÆR. No, madam!
+
+THAIS. Can you
+Believe that you shall go unpunish'd for it?
+
+CHÆR. Forgive me this one fault! If I commit
+Another, kill me!
+
+THAIS. Do you dread my cruelty?
+
+CHÆR. No, ma'am!
+
+THAIS. What then?
+
+CHÆR. I was afraid, lest She
+Accuse me to you. (_Pointing to PYTHIAS._)
+
+THAIS. Upon what account?
+
+CHÆR. A little matter.
+
+PYTH. Rogue! a little matter?
+Is it so little, think you, to abuse
+A virgin, and a citizen!
+
+CHÆR. I thought
+She was my fellow-servant.
+
+PYTH. Fellow-servant!
+I can scarce hold from flying at his hair.
+Monstrous! he's come to make his sport of us.
+
+THAIS. Away! you rave.
+
+PYTH. Why so? if I had done 't,
+I should have still been in the monster's debt;
+Particularly, as he owns himself
+Your servant.
+
+THAIS. Well--no more of this.--Oh, Chærea,
+You've done a deed unworthy of yourself:
+For granting I, perhaps, might well deserve
+This injury, it was not honorable
+In you to do it.--As I live, I know not
+What counsel to pursue about this girl;
+You've so destroy'd my measures, that I can't
+Restore her, without blushing to her friends,
+Nor so deliver her, as I propos'd,
+To make them thank me for my kindness, Chærea!
+
+CHÆR. Henceforth, I hope, eternal peace shall be
+Betwixt us, Thais! Oft from things like these,
+And bad beginnings, warmest friendships rise.
+What if some God hath order'd this?
+
+THAIS. Indeed,
+I'll so interpret it, and wish it so.
+
+CHÆR. I prithee do!--and be assured of this,
+That naught I did in scorn, but all in love.
+
+THAIS. I do believe it; and, on that account,
+More readily forgive you: for oh! Chærea,
+I am not form'd of an ungentle nature,
+Nor am I now to learn the pow'r of love.
+
+CHÆR. Now, Thais, by my life, I love thee too.
+
+PYTH. Then, by my troth, you must take care of him.
+
+CHÆR. I durst not----
+
+PYTH. I don't mind a word you say.
+
+THAIS. Have done!
+
+CHÆR. But now, in this one circumstance,
+Let me beseech you to assist me! I
+Commit myself entirely to your care:
+Invoke you, as my patroness; implore you.
+Perdition seize me, but I'll marry her!
+
+THAIS. But if your father----
+
+CHÆR. What of him? I know
+He'll soon consent, provided it appears
+That she's a citizen.
+
+THAIS. If you will wait
+A little while, her brother will be here:
+He's gone to fetch the nurse that brought her up;
+And you shall witness the discovery.
+
+CHÆR. I will remain then.
+
+THAIS. But, in the mean time,
+Had you not rather wait within, than here
+Before the door?
+
+CHÆR. Much rather.
+
+PYTH. What the plague
+Are you about?
+
+THAIS. What now?
+
+PYTH. What now, indeed?
+Will you let him within your doors again?
+
+THAIS. Why not?
+
+PYTH. Remember that I prophesy,
+He'll make some fresh disturbance.
+
+THAIS. Prithee, peace!
+
+PYTH. It seems, you have not had sufficient proof
+Of his assurance.
+
+CHÆR. I'll do no harm, Pythias!
+
+PYTH. I'll not believe it, Chærea, till I see it.
+
+CHÆR. But you shall keep me, Pythias!
+
+PYTH. No, not I.
+For, by my troth, I would trust nothing with you,
+Neither to keep, nor be kept by you.--Hence!
+Away!
+
+THAIS. Oh brave! the brother's here! (_Looking out._)
+
+CHÆR. Confusion!
+Let's in, dear Thais! I'd not have him see me
+Here in this dress.
+
+THAIS. Why so? Are you asham'd?
+
+CHÆR. I am indeed.
+
+PYTH. Indeed! asham'd! oh dear!
+Think of the girl!
+
+THAIS. Go in! I'll follow you.
+Pythias, do you stay here to bring in Chremes.
+    (_Exeunt THAIS and CHÆREA._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    Lest any one should know me.--But is that
+    Thais? 'Tis she herself. I'm all aground.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Lest any one should know me in this habit.
+    But is that Thais? She. I'm all aground.
+
+  _Harper_
+    It was a clever trick?
+    CHÆR. No, madam!
+    THAIS. Can you
+    Believe that you shall go unpunish'd for it?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    It was a clever trick, I warrant you?
+    CHÆR. No, madam!
+    THAIS. Can you believe that you shall go unpunish'd?
+
+  _Harper_
+    THAIS. Upon what account?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    THAIS. Of what crime?
+
+  _Harper_
+    PYTH. Why so? if I had done 't
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PYTH. Not I. if I had done 't
+
+  _Harper_
+    Let me beseech you to assist me! I
+    Commit myself entirely to your care:
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Let me beseech you to assist me, Thais!
+    I trust myself entirely to your care:
+
+  _Harper_
+    PYTH. I'll not believe it, Chærea, till I see it.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PYTH. I'll not believe it, till I see it, Chærea.]
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _PYTHIAS, CHREMES, SOPHRONA._
+
+PYTH. What can I think of? what can I devise?
+Some trick now to be even with that rogue
+Who palm'd this young spark on us.
+
+CHREM. (_leading the nurse_). Nay, but stir
+Your stumps a little faster, nurse!
+
+SOPH. I come.
+
+CHREM. Aye, marry; but you don't come on a jot.
+
+PYTH. Well! have you shown the tokens to the nurse?
+
+CHREM. I have.
+
+PYTH. And pray what says she? Did she know them?
+
+CHREM. At first sight.
+
+PYTH. Oh brave news! I'm glad to hear it;
+For I've a kindness for the girl. Go in;
+My mistress is impatient for your coming.
+(_Exeunt CHREMES and SOPHRONA._
+See, yonder's my good master Parmeno,
+Marching this way: How unconcern'd, forsooth,
+He stalks along!--But I've devis'd, I hope,
+The means to vex him sorely.--First I'll in,
+To know the truth of this discovery,
+And then return to terrify this rascal. (_Exit._
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Enter PARMENO._
+
+PAR. I'm come to see what Chærea has been doing:
+Who, if he has but manag'd matters well,
+Good Heav'ns, how much, and what sincere applause
+Shall Parmeno acquire!--For not to mention,
+In an intrigue so difficult as this,
+Of so much probable expense at least,
+Since with a griping harlot he'd have bargain'd,
+That I've procur'd for him the girl he lov'd,
+Without cost, charge, or trouble; t'other point,
+That, that I hold my master-piece, there think
+I've gain'd the prize, in showing a young spark
+The dispositions and the ways of harlots:
+Which having early learn'd, he'll ever shun.
+(_Enter PYTHIAS behind._)
+When they're abroad, forsooth, there's none so clean,
+Nothing so trim, so elegant, as they;
+Nor, when they sup with a gallant, so nice!
+To see these very creatures' gluttony,
+Filth, poverty, and meanness, when at home;
+So eager after food, that they devour
+From yesterday's stale broth the coarse black bread:--
+All this to know is safety to young men.
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _PYTHIAS, PARMENO._
+
+PYTH. (_behind_). 'Faith, Sirrah, I'll be handsomely revenged
+For all you've done and said. You shall not boast
+Your tricks on us without due punishment.
+  (_Aloud, coming forward._)
+Oh Heav'ns! oh dreadful deed! oh hapless youth!
+Oh wicked Parmeno, that brought him here!
+
+PAR. What now?
+
+PYTH. It mov'd me so. I could not bear
+To see it: therefore I flew out o' doors.
+What an example will they make of him!
+
+PAR. Oh Jupiter! What tumult can this be?
+Am I undone, or no?--I'll e'en inquire.
+Pythias! (_going up._) What now? what is't you rave about?
+Who's to be made this terrible example?
+
+PYTH. Who? most audacious monster! while you meant
+To play your tricks on us, you have destroyed
+The youth whom you brought hither for the Eunuch.
+
+PAR. How so? and what has happen'd? Prithee tell me!
+
+PYTH. Tell you? D'ye know the virgin, that was sent
+To-day to Thais, is a citizen?
+Her brother too a man of the first rank?
+
+PAR. I did not know it.
+
+PYTH. Aye, but so it seems.
+The poor young spark abus'd the girl; a thing
+No sooner known, than he, the furious brother----
+
+PAR. Did what?
+
+PYTH. First bound him hand and foot----
+
+PAR. How! bound him!
+
+PYTH. And now, though Thais begged him not to do it----
+
+PAR. How! what!
+
+PYTH. Moreover threatens, he will serve him
+After the manner of adulterers;
+A thing I ne'er saw done, and ne'er desire.
+
+PAR. How durst he offer at an act so monstrous?
+
+PYTH. And why so monstrous?
+
+PAR. Is it not most monstrous?
+Who ever saw a young man seiz'd and bound
+For rapes and lewdness in a house of harlots?
+
+PYTH. I don't know.
+
+PAR. Aye; but you must all know this.
+I tell you, and foretell you, that young spark
+Is my old master's son.
+
+PYTH. Indeed, is he?
+
+PAR. And let not Thais suffer any one
+To do him violence!--But why don't I
+Rush in myself?
+
+PYTH. Ah! take care, Parmeno,
+What you're about; lest you do him no good,
+And hurt yourself: for they imagine you,
+Whatever has been done, the cause of all.
+
+PAR. What shall I do then, wretch? what undertake?
+--Oh! yonder's my old master, just return'd
+To town. Shall I tell him, or no?--I' faith
+I'll tell him, though I am well convinc'd it will
+Bring me into a scrape; a heavy one: And yet
+It must be done to help poor Chærea.
+
+PYTH. Right.
+I'll in again; and you, in the mean while,
+Tell the old gentleman the whole affair. (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    Who ever saw a young man seiz'd and bound
+    For rapes and lewdness in a house of harlots?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Who ever saw a young man seiz'd by force,
+    And punish'd for adultery in a brothel?
+
+  _Harper_
+    To do him violence!--But why don't I
+    Rush in myself?
+    PYTH. Ah! take care, Parmeno
+  _Colman 1768_
+    To do him any violence!--But why
+    Don't I rush in myself?
+    PYTH. Ah! have a care
+
+  _Harper_
+    PAR. What shall I do then, wretch? what undertake?
+    --Oh! yonder's my old master, just return'd
+    To town. Shall I tell him, or no?--I' faith
+    I'll tell him, though I am well convinc'd it will
+    Bring me into a scrape; a heavy one: And yet
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PAR. What shall I do then? what resolve? Confusion!
+    --Oh! yonder's my old master, just return'd
+    To town. Shall I tell _him_ of it, or no?
+    I'll tell him, tho' I am well convinc'd, the blame
+    Will light on me, and heavily: And yet]
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _Enter LACHES._
+
+LACHES. I've this convenience from my neighb'ring villa;
+I'm never tir'd of country or of town.
+For as disgust comes on, I change my place.
+--But is not that our Parmeno? 'Tis he
+For certain.--Whom d'ye wait for, Parmeno,
+Before that door?
+
+PAR. Who's that? Oh, Sir! you're welcome:
+I'm glad to see you safe return'd to town.
+
+LACHES. Whom do you wait for?
+
+PAR. I'm undone: my tongue
+Cleaves to my mouth through fear.
+
+LACHES. Ha! what's the matter?
+Why do you tremble so? Is all right? Speak!
+
+PAR. First, Sir, I'd have you think, for so it is,
+Whatever has befall'n has not befall'n
+Through any fault of mine.
+
+LACHES. What is't?
+
+PAR. That's true.
+Your pardon, Sir, I should have told that first.
+--Phædria, Sir, bought a certain Eunuch, as
+A present to send her.
+
+LACHES. Her!--Her! whom?
+
+PAR. Thais.
+
+LACHES. Bought? I'm undone! at what price?
+
+PAR. Twenty Minæ.
+
+LACHES. I'm ruin'd.
+
+PAR. And then Chærea's fall'n in love
+With a young music-girl.
+
+LACHES. How! what! in love!
+Knows he already what a harlot is?
+Has he stol'n into town? More plagues on plagues.
+
+PAR. Nay, Sir! don't look on me! it was not done
+By my advice.
+
+LACHES. Leave prating of yourself.
+As for you, rascal, if I live--But first
+Whatever has befallen, tell me, quick!
+
+PAR. Chærea was carried thither for the Eunuch.
+
+LACHES. He for the Eunuch!
+
+PAR. Yes: since when, within
+They've seiz'd and bound him for a ravisher.
+
+LACHES. Confusion!
+
+PAR. See the impudence of harlots!
+
+LACHES. Is there aught else of evil or misfortune
+You have not told me yet?
+
+PAR. You know the whole.
+
+LACHES. Then why do I delay to rush in on them?
+                                              (_Exit._
+
+PAR. There is no doubt but I shall smart for this.
+But since I was oblig'd to 't, I rejoice
+That I shall make these strumpets suffer too:
+For our old gentleman has long desir'd
+Some cause to punish them; and now he has it.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    --But is not that our Parmeno? 'Tis he
+    For certain.--Whom d'ye wait for, Parmeno
+  _Colman 1768_
+    --But is not that our Parmeno? 'Tis he.
+    Parmeno, who is it you're waiting for
+
+  _Harper_
+    PAR. First, Sir, I'd have you think, for so it is
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PAR. First be persuaded, Sir,--for that's the case
+
+  _Harper_
+    --Phædria, Sir, bought a certain Eunuch, as
+    A present to send her.
+    LACHES. Her!--Her! whom?
+    PAR. Thais.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    --Phædria lately bought a certain Eunuch
+    By way of present to this gentlewoman.
+    LACHES. What gentlewoman, sirrah?
+    PAR. Madam Thais.
+
+  _Harper_
+    Has he stol'n into town? More plagues on plagues.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Is he in town? misfortune on misfortune!
+
+    LACHES. Confusion!
+  _1768 edition has question mark_]
+
+
+SCENE VII.
+
+  _Enter PYTHIAS; PARMENO at a distance._
+
+PYTH. Well! I was ne'er more pleas'd in all my life
+Than when I saw th' old man come blund'ring in.
+I had the jest alone; for I alone
+Knew what he was afraid of.
+
+PAR. Hey! what now?
+
+PYTH. I'm now come forth t' encounter Parmeno.
+Where is he?
+
+PAR. She seeks me.
+
+PYTH. Oh, there he is.
+I'll go up to him.
+
+PAR. Well, fool, what's the matter? (_PYTHIAS laughs._)
+What would you? what d'ye laugh at? Hey! what still?
+
+PYTH. Oh, I shall die: I'm horribly fatigu'd
+With laughing at you. (_Laughing heartily._)
+
+PAR. Why so? pray!
+
+PYTH. Why so? (_Laughing._)
+I ne'er saw, ne'er shall see, a greater fool.
+Oh, it's impossible to tell what sport
+You've made within.--I swear, I always thought
+That you had been a shrewd, sharp, cunning fellow.
+What! to believe directly what I told you!
+Or was you prick'd in conscience for the sin
+The young man had committed through your means,
+That you must after tell his father of him?
+How d'ye suppose he felt when old gray-beard
+Surpris'd him in that habit?--What! you find
+That you're undone. (_Laughing heartily._)
+
+PAR. What's this, impertinence?
+Was it a lie you told me? D'ye laugh still?
+Is't such a jest to make fools of us, hag?
+
+PYTH. Delightful! (_Laughing._)
+
+PAR. If you don't pay dearly for it!----
+
+PYTH. Perhaps so. (_Laughing._)
+
+PAR. I'll return it.
+
+PYTH. Oh, no doubt on't. (_Laughing._)
+But what you threaten, Parmeno, is distant:
+You'll be truss'd up to-day; who first draw in
+A raw young man to sin, and then betray him.
+They'll both conspire to make you an example. (_Laughing._)
+
+PAR. I'm done for.
+
+PYTH. Take this, slave, as a reward
+For the fine gift you sent us; so, farewell! (_Exit PYTHIAS._
+
+PAR. I've been a fool indeed; and like a rat,
+Betray'd myself to-day by my own squeaking.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    PAR. Why so? pray!
+    PYTH. Why so?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PAR. For what cause?
+    PYTH. What cause?
+
+  _Harper_
+    Or was you prick'd in conscience for the sin
+    The young man had committed through your means,
+    That you must after tell his father of him?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Or was not you contented with the crime
+    You urg'd the youth to perpetrate, unless
+    You afterwards betray'd him to his father?]
+
+
+SCENE VIII.
+
+  _Enter THRASO, GNATHO; PARMENO behind._
+
+GNAT. What now? in what hope, or with what design
+Advance we hither? what adventure, Thraso?
+
+THRASO. What do I mean?--To Thais to surrender
+On her own terms?
+
+GNAT. Indeed?
+
+THRASO. Indeed! why not,
+As well as Hercules to Omphale?
+
+GNAT. A fit example.--Would I might behold
+Your head broke with her slipper. (_Aside._) But her doors
+Creak, and fly open.
+
+THRASO. 'Sdeath! what mischief now?
+I ne'er so much as saw this face before.
+Why bursts he forth with such alacrity?
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _1768 version of entire scene:_
+    GNAT. What now? with what hope, or design, advance we?
+    What's your intention, Thraso?
+    THRASO. My intention?
+    To Thais to surrender at discretion.
+    GNAT. How say you?
+    THRASO. Even so. Why should not I,
+    As well as Hercules to Omphale?
+    GNAT. A fit example.--Oh, that I could see her
+    Combing your empty noddle with her slipper!
+    But her door opens.
+    THRASO. 'Sdeath! what mischief now?
+    I ne'er so much as saw this face before.
+    Why bursts he forth with such alacrity?]
+
+
+SCENE IX.
+
+  _Enter CHÆREA at another part of the stage._
+
+CHÆR. Lives there, my countrymen, a happier man
+To-day than I?--Not one.--For on my head
+The gods have plainly emptied all their store,
+On whom they've pour'd a flood of bliss at once.
+
+PAR. What's he so pleas'd at?
+
+CHÆR. (_seeing him._) Oh my Parmeno
+Inventor, undertaker, perfecter
+Of all my pleasures, know'st thou my good fortunes?
+Know'st thou my Pamphila's a citizen?
+
+PAR. I've heard so.
+
+CHÆR. Know'st thou she's betroth'd my wife?
+
+PAR. Oh brave, by Heav'n!
+
+GNAT. Hear you what he says? (_To THRASO._)
+
+CHÆR. Then I rejoice, my brother Phædria's love
+Is quietly secur'd to him forever:
+We're now one family: and Thais has
+Found favor with my father, and resign'd
+Herself to us for patronage and care.
+
+PAR. She's then entirely Phædria's!
+
+CHÆR. Aye, entirely.
+
+PAR. Another cause of joy: the Captain routed!
+
+CHÆR. See, Parmeno, my brother (wheresoe'er
+He be) know this, as soon as possible!
+
+PAR. I'll see if he's at home. (_Exit._
+
+THRASO. Hast any doubt,
+Gnatho, but I'm entirely ruin'd?
+
+GNAT. None at all.
+
+CHÆR. What shall I mention first? whom praise the most!
+Him that advis'd this action? or myself
+That durst to undertake it?--or extol
+Fortune, the governess of all, who deign'd,
+Events so many, of such moment too,
+So happily to close within one day?
+Or shall I praise my father's frank good-humor,
+And gay festivity?----Oh, Jupiter,
+Make but these blessings sure!
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    PAR. Oh brave, by Heav'n!
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PAR. Good news, by heaven!
+
+  _Harper_
+    Make but these blessings sure!
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Make but these blessings permanent!]
+
+
+SCENE X.
+
+  _Enter PHÆDRIA._
+
+PHÆD. O heavenly powers!
+What wondrous things has Parmeno just told me!
+But where's my brother?
+
+CHÆR. Here he is.
+
+PHÆD. I'm happy.
+
+CHÆR. I dare believe you are; and trust me, brother,
+Naught can be worthier of your love than Thais:
+Our family are all much bounden to her.
+
+PHÆD. So! you'd need sing her praise to me!
+
+THRASO. Confusion!
+As my hope dies, my love increases. Gnatho
+Your help! my expectation's all in you.
+
+GNAT. What would you have me do?
+
+THRASO. Accomplish this;
+By pray'r, by purchase, that I still may have
+Some little share in Thais.
+
+GNAT. A hard task!
+
+THRASO. Do but incline to do't, you can, I know.
+Effect it, and demand whatever gift,
+Whate'er reward you please, it shall be yours.
+
+GNAT. Indeed?
+
+THRASO. Indeed!
+
+GNAT. If I accomplish this,
+I claim, that you agree to throw your doors,
+Present or absent, always open to me;
+A welcome, uninvited guest forever.
+
+THRASO. I pawn my honor as the pledge.
+
+GNAT. I'll try.
+
+PHÆD. What voice is that? Oh, Thraso!
+
+THRASO. Gentlemen,
+Good-day!
+
+PHÆD. Perhaps you're not acquainted yet
+With what has happen'd here?
+
+THRASO. I am.
+
+PHÆD. Why then
+Do I behold you in these territories?
+
+THRASO. Depending on----
+
+PHÆD. Depend on naught but this!
+Captain, I give you warning, if, henceforth,
+I ever find you in this street, although
+You tell me, "_I was looking for another,
+I was but passing through_," expect no quarter.
+
+GNAT. Oh fie! that is not handsome.
+
+PHÆD. I have said it.
+
+GNAT. You can not be so rude.
+
+PHÆD. It shall be so.
+
+GNAT. First grant me a short hearing: if you like
+What I propose, agree to't.
+
+PHÆD. Let us hear!
+
+GNAT. Do you retire a moment, Thraso! (_THRASO retires._) First,
+I must beseech you both, most firmly think,
+That I, whate'er I do in this affair,
+For my own sake I do it: but if that
+Likewise advantage you, not to agree
+In you were folly.
+
+PHÆD. What is't you propose?
+
+GNAT. I think you should admit the Captain, as
+Your rival.
+
+PHÆD. How? admit him?
+
+GNAT. Nay consider!
+Phædria, you live at a high rate with her,
+Revel, and feast, and stick at no expense.
+Yet what you give's but little, and you know
+'Tis needful Thais should receive much more
+Now to supply your love without your cost,
+A fitter person, one more form'd, can't be
+Than Thraso is: first, he has wherewithal
+To give, and gives most largely: a fool too,
+A dolt, a block, that snores out night and day;
+Nor can you fear she'll e'er grow fond of him;
+And you may drive him hence whene'er you please.
+
+PHÆD. What shall we do? (_To CHÆREA._)
+
+GNAT. Moreover this; the which
+I hold no trifle, no man entertains
+More nobly or more freely.
+
+PHÆD. I begin
+To think we've need of such a fool.
+
+CHÆR. And I.
+
+GNAT. Well judg'd! and let me beg one favor more;
+Admit me of your family!--I have
+Roll'd this stone long enough.
+
+PHÆD. We do admit you.
+
+CHÆR. With all our hearts.
+
+GNAT. And you, Sirs, in return,
+Shall pledge me in the Captain; eat him; drink him:
+And laugh at him.
+
+CHÆR. A bargain!
+
+PHÆD. 'Tis his due.
+
+GNAT. Thraso, whene'er you please, approach!
+
+THRASO. Pray now,
+How stands the case?
+
+GNAT. Alas! they knew you not!
+But when I drew your character, and prais'd
+Your worth, according to your deeds and virtues,
+I gain'd my point.
+
+THRASO. 'Tis well: I'm much oblig'd;
+I ne'er was any where, in all my life,
+But all folks lov'd me dearly.
+
+GNAT. Did not I
+Say he had all the Attic elegance?
+
+PHÆD. He is the very character you drew.
+
+GNAT. Retire then. --Ye, (_to the audience_,) farewell, and clap your
+    hands!
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    PHÆD. O heavenly powers!
+    What wondrous things has Parmeno just told me!
+    But where's my brother?
+    CHÆR. Here he is.
+    PHÆD. I'm happy.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PHÆD. Good heavens!
+    What wondrous things has Parmeno just told me!
+    But where's my brother?
+    CHÆR. Here.
+    PHÆD. I'm quite transported.
+
+  _Harper_
+    As my hope dies, my love increases. Gnatho
+    Your help! my expectation's all in you.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    As my hope dies, my passion gathers strength.
+    Gnatho, your help! my only hope's in you.
+
+  _Harper_
+    PHÆD. What is't you propose?
+    GNAT. I think you should admit the Captain, as
+    Your rival.
+    PHÆD. How? admit him?
+    GNAT. Nay consider!
+    Phædria, you live at a high rate with her
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PHÆD. What are your proposals?
+    GNAT. I think, 'twere not imprudent to admit
+    The Captain, as your rival.
+    PHÆD. How!
+    Admit him, say you?
+    GNAT. Nay reflect a little.
+    Phædria, you live at a high rate with Thais
+
+  _Harper_
+    Admit me of your family!--I have
+    Roll'd this stone long enough.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Admit me into your fraternity!
+    I've roll'd this stone too long.
+
+  _Harper_
+    GNAT. Thraso, whene'er you please, approach!
+    THRASO. Pray now,
+  _Colman 1768_
+    GNAT. Thraso, whene'er you please, come forward!
+    THRASO. Well!
+
+  _Harper_
+    But all folks lov'd me dearly.
+    GNAT. Did not I
+    Say he had all the Attic elegance?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    But all folks lov'd me most exceedingly.
+    GNAT. There, did I not assure you, gentlemen,
+    That he had all the Attick Elegance?]
+
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+           *       *       *       *
+
+
+THE SELF-TORMENTOR.
+
+
+PERSONS REPRESENTED.
+
+  PROLOGUE.
+  MENEDEMUS.
+  CHREMES.
+  CLINIA.
+  CLITIPHO.
+  SYRUS.
+  DROMO.
+
+  SOSTRATA.
+  ANTIPHILA.
+  BACCHIS.
+  NURSE.
+  PHRYGIA, _and other servants of BACCHIS._
+
+SCENE, _a Village near ATHENS._
+
+
+
+
+PROLOGUE.
+
+  Lest any of you wonder, why the Bard
+To an old actor hath assign'd the part
+Sustain'd of old by young performers; that
+I'll first explain: then say what brings
+To-day, a whole play, wholly from the Greek,
+We mean to represent:--The Self-Tormentor:
+Wrought from a single to a double plot.
+  Now therefore that our comedy is new,
+And what it is, I've shown: who wrote it too,
+And whose in Greek it is, were I not sure
+Most of you knew already, would I tell.
+But, wherefore I have ta'en this part upon me,
+In brief I will deliver: for the Bard
+Has sent me here as pleader, not as Prologue;
+You he declares his judges, me his counsel:
+And yet as counsel nothing can I speak
+More than the Author teaches me to say,
+Who wrote th' oration which I now recite.
+  As to reports, which envious men have spread,
+That he has ransack'd many Grecian plays,
+While he composes some few Latin ones,
+That he denies not, he has done; nor does
+Repent he did it; means to do it still;
+Safe in the warrant and authority
+Of greater bards, who did long since the same.
+Then for the charge, that his arch-enemy
+Maliciously reproaches him withal,
+That he but lately hath applied himself
+To music, with the genius of his friends,
+Rather than natural talents, fraught; how true,
+Your judgment, your opinion, must decide.
+I would entreat you, therefore, not to lean
+To tales of slander, rather than of candor.
+Be favorable; nurse with growing hopes
+The bards, who give you pleasing novelties;
+_Pleasing_ I say, not such as _His_ I mean,
+Who lately introduc'd a breathless slave,
+Making the crowd give way--But wherefore trace
+A dunce's faults? which shall be shown at large,
+When more he writes, unless he cease to rail.
+  Attend impartially! and let me once
+Without annoyance act an easy part;
+Lest your old servant be o'er-labor'd still
+With toilsome characters, the running slave,
+The eating parasite, enrag'd old man,
+The bold-fac'd sharper, covetous procurer;
+Parts, that ask pow'rs of voice, and iron sides.
+Deign then, for my sake, to accept this plea,
+And grant me some remission from my labor.
+For they, who now produce new comedies,
+Spare not my age! If there is aught laborious,
+They run to me; but if of little weight,
+Away to others. In our piece to-day
+The style is pure: now try my talents then
+In either character. If I for gain,
+Never o'er-rated my abilities;
+If I have held it still my chief reward
+To be subservient to your pleasure; fix
+In me a fair example, that our youth
+May seek to please you, rather than themselves.
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FIRST.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _CHREMES, MENEDEMUS._
+
+CHREM. Though our acquaintance is as yet but young,
+Since you have bought this farm that neighbors mine,
+And little other commerce is betwixt us;
+Yet or your virtue, or good neighborhood,
+(Which is in my opinion kin to friendship,)
+Urge me to tell you, fairly, openly,
+That you appear to me to labor more
+Than your age warrants, or affairs require.
+Now, in the name of heav'n and earth, what is't
+You want? what seek you? Threescore years of age,
+Or older, as I guess; with an estate,
+Better than which, more profitable, none
+In these parts hold; master of many slaves;
+As if you had not one at your command,
+You labor in their offices yourself.
+I ne'er go out so soon at morn, return
+So late at eve, but in your grounds I see you
+Dig, plow, or fetch and carry: in a word,
+You ne'er remit your toil, nor spare yourself.
+This, I am certain, is not done for pleasure.
+--You'll say, perhaps, it vexes you to see
+Your work go on so slowly;--do but give
+The time you spend in laboring yourself
+To set your slaves to work, 'twill profit more.
+
+MENE. Have you such leisure from your own affairs
+To think of those, that don't concern you, Chremes?
+
+CHREM. I am a man, and feel for all mankind.
+Think, I advise, or ask for information:
+If right, that I may do the same; if wrong,
+To turn you from it.
+
+MENE. I have need to do thus.
+Do you as you think fit.
+
+CHREM. Need any man
+Torment himself?
+
+MENE. I need.
+
+CHREM. If there's a cause,
+I'd not oppose it. But what evil's this?
+What is th' offense so grievous to your nature,
+That asks such cruel vengeance on yourself?
+
+MENE. Alas! alas! (_In tears._)
+
+CHREM. Nay, weep not; but inform me.
+Be not reserv'd; fear nothing: prithee, trust me:
+By consolation, counsel, or assistance,
+I possibly may serve you.
+
+MENE. Would you know it?
+
+CHREM. Aye, for the very reason I have mention'd.
+
+MENE. I will inform you.
+
+CHREM. But meanwhile lay down
+Those rakes: don't tire yourself.
+
+MENE. It must not be.
+
+CHREM. What mean you?
+
+MENE. Give me leave: that I may take
+No respite from my toil.
+
+CHREM. I'll not allow it. (_Taking away the rakes._)
+
+MENE. Ah, you do wrong.
+
+CHREM. What, and so heavy too! (_Weighing them in his hand._)
+
+MENE. Such my desert.
+
+CHREM. Now speak. (_Laying down the rakes._)
+
+MENE. One only son
+I have.--_Have_, did I say?--_Had_ I mean, Chremes.
+Have I or no, is now uncertain.
+
+CHREM. Wherefore?
+
+MENE. That you shall know. An old Corinthian woman
+Now sojourns here, a stranger in these parts,
+And very poor. It happen'd, of her daughter
+My son became distractedly enamor'd;----
+E'en to the brink of marriage; and all this
+Unknown to me: which I no sooner learn'd
+Than I began to deal severely with him,
+Not as a young and love-sick mind requir'd,
+But in the rough and usual way of fathers.
+Daily I chid him; crying, "How now, Sir!
+Think you that you shall hold these courses long,
+And I your father living?--Keep a mistress,
+As if she were your wife!--You are deceiv'd,
+If you think that, and do not know me, Clinia.
+While you act worthily, you're mine; if not,
+I shall act toward you worthy of myself.
+All this arises from mere idleness.
+I, at your age, ne'er thought of love; but went
+To seek my fortune in the wars in Asia,
+And there acquir'd in arms both wealth and glory."
+--In short, things came to such a pass, the youth,
+O'ercome with hearing still the self-same thing,
+And wearied out with my reproaches; thinking,
+Age and experience had enabled me
+To judge his interest better than himself,
+Went off to serve the king in Asia, Chremes.
+
+CHREM. How say you?
+
+MENE. Stole away three months ago,
+Without my knowledge.
+
+CHREM. Both have been to blame:
+And yet this enterprise bespeaks a mind,
+Modest and manly.
+
+MENE. Having heard of this
+From some of his familiars, home I came
+Mournful, half-mad, and almost wild with grief.
+I sit me down; my servants run to me;
+Some draw my sandals off; while others haste
+To spread the couches, and prepare the supper:
+Each in his way, I mark, does all he can
+To mitigate my sorrow. Noting this,
+"How," said I to myself, "so many then
+Anxious for me alone? to pleasure me?
+So many slaves to dress me? All this cost
+For me alone?--Meanwhile, my only son,
+For whom all these were fit, as well as me,
+Nay rather more, since he is of an age
+More proper for their use; him, him, poor boy,
+Has my unkindness driven forth to sorrow.
+Oh I were worthy of the heaviest curse,
+Could I brook that!--No; long as he shall lead
+A life of penury abroad, an exile
+Through my unjust severity, so long
+Will I revenge his wrongs upon myself,
+Laboring, scraping, sparing, slaving for him."
+--In short, I did so; in the house I left
+Nor clothes, nor movables: I scrap'd up all.
+My slaves, both male and female, except those
+Who more than earn'd their bread in country-work,
+I sold: Then set my house to sale: In all
+I got together about fifteen talents;
+Purchas'd this farm; and here fatigue myself;
+Thinking I do my son less injury,
+While I'm in misery too; nor is it just
+For me, I think, to taste of pleasure here,
+Till he return in safety to partake on't.
+
+CHREM. You I believe a tender parent, him
+A duteous son, if govern'd prudently.
+But you was unacquainted with his nature,
+And he with yours: sad life, where things are so!
+You ne'er betray'd your tenderness to him;
+Nor durst he place that confidence in you,
+Which well becomes the bosom of a father.
+Had that been done, this had not happen'd to you.
+
+MENE. True, I confess; but I was most in fault.
+
+CHREM. All, Menedemus, will, I hope, be well,
+And trust, your son will soon return in safety.
+
+MENE. Grant it, good Gods!
+
+CHREM. They will. Now, therefore, since
+The Dionysia are held here to-day,
+If 'tis convenient, come, and feast with me.
+
+MENE. Impossible.
+
+CHREM. Why so?--Nay, prithee now,
+Indulge yourself a while: your absent son,
+I'm sure, would have it so.
+
+MENE. It is not meet,
+That I, who drove him forth to misery,
+Should fly it now myself.
+
+CHREM. You are resolv'd?
+
+MENE. Most constantly.
+
+CHREM. Farewell then!
+
+MENE. Fare you well! (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    Now, in the name of heav'n and earth, what is't
+    You want? what seek you? Threescore years of age
+  _Colman 1768_
+    For in the name of heav'n and earth, what would you?
+    What do you drive at? Threescore years of age
+
+  _Harper_
+    I ne'er go out so soon at morn, return
+    So late at eve, but in your grounds I see you
+    Dig, plow, or fetch and carry: in a word,
+  _Colman 1768_
+    I ne'er go out so soon, return so late,
+    Morning or evening, but I see you still
+    At labour on your acres, digging, plowing,
+    Or carrying some burden: in a word,
+
+  _Harper_
+    CHREM. If there's a cause,
+    I'd not oppose it. But what evil's this?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    CHREM. If you're unhappy,
+    I'm sorry for it. But what evil's this?
+
+    I possibly may serve you.
+    _"I" invisible in Harper edition_
+
+    "How," said I to myself, "so many then]
+    _inner quotes supplied from 1768 edition_
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _CHREMES alone._
+
+He draws tears from me.--How I pity him!
+--But 'tis high time, as the day goes, to warn
+My neighbor Phania to come forth to supper.
+I'll go, and see if he's at home.
+    (_Goes to PHANIA'S door, and returns._)
+     There was,
+It seems, no need of warning: for, they tell me,
+He has been gone to my house some time since;
+I keep my guests in waiting; so I'll in.
+But my doors creak. (_CLITIPHO appears._) Who's this? I'll step aside.
+    (_Retires._)
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    He has been gone to my house some time since;
+    I keep my guests in waiting; so I'll in.
+    But my doors creak. Who's this? I'll step aside.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    He went to his appointment some time since.
+    'Tis I myself that keep my guests in waiting.
+    I'll in immediately.--But what's the meaning
+    That my door opens?--Who's this?--I'll retire.]
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Enter CLITIPHO, speaking to CLINIA within._
+
+As yet, my Clinia, you've no cause to fear:
+They are not long: and she, I'm confident,
+Will be here shortly with the messenger.
+Prithee, away then with these idle cares,
+Which thus torment you!
+
+CHREM. (_behind._) Whom does my son speak to?
+
+CLIT. My father as I wish'd--Good Sir, well met.
+
+CHREM. What now?
+
+CLIT. D'ye know our neighbor Menedemus?
+
+CHREM. Aye, very well.
+
+CLIT. D'ye know he has a son?
+
+CHREM. I've heard he is in Asia.
+
+CLIT. No such thing.
+He's at our house, Sir.
+
+CHREM. How!
+
+CLIT. But just arriv'd:
+Ev'n at his landing I fell in with him,
+And brought him here to supper: for, from boys,
+We have been friends and intimates.
+
+CHREM. Good news:
+Now do I wish the more that Menedemus,
+Whom I invited, were my guest to-day,
+That I, and under my own roof, had been
+The first to have surpris'd him with this joy!
+And I may yet. (_Going._)
+
+CLIT. Take heed! it were not good.
+
+CHREM. How so?
+
+CLIT. Because the youth is yet in doubt:
+Newly arriv'd; in fear of ev'ry thing;
+He dreads his father's anger, and suspects
+The disposition of his mistress tow'rds him;
+Her, whom he dotes upon; on whose account,
+This diff'rence and departure came about.
+
+CHREM. I know it.
+
+CLIT. He has just dispatch'd his boy
+Into the city to her, and our Syrus
+I sent along with him.
+
+CHREM. What says the son?
+
+CLIT. Says? that he's miserable.
+
+CHREM. Miserable!
+Who needs be less so? for what earthly good
+Can man possess which he may not enjoy?
+Parents, a prosp'rous country, friends, birth, riches.
+Yet these all take their value from the mind
+Of the possessor: he that knows their use,
+To him they're blessings; he that knows it not,
+To him misuse converts them into curses.
+
+CLIT. Nay, but he ever was a cross old man:
+And now there's nothing that I dread so much,
+As lest he be transported in his rage
+To some gross outrages against his son.
+
+CHREM. He!--He!--But I'll contain myself. 'Tis good
+For Menedemus that his son should fear. (_Aside._)
+
+CLIT. What say you, Sir, within yourself! (_Overhearing._)
+
+CHREM. I say,
+Be't as it might, the son should have remain'd.
+Grant that the father bore too strict a hand
+Upon his loose desires; he should have borne it.
+Whom would he bear withal, if not a parent?
+Was't fitting that the father should conform
+To the son's humor, or the son to his?
+And for the rigor that he murmurs at,
+'Tis nothing: the severities of fathers,
+Unless perchance a hard one here and there,
+Are much the same: they reprimand their sons
+For riotous excesses, wenching, drinking;
+And starve their pleasures by a scant allowance.
+Yet this all tends to good: but when the mind
+Is once enslav'd to vicious appetites,
+It needs must follow vicious measures too.
+Remember then this maxim, Clitipho,
+A wise one 'tis to draw from others' faults
+A profitable lesson for yourself.
+
+CLIT. I do believe it.
+
+CHREM. Well, I'll in, and see
+What is provided for our supper: you,
+As the day wears, see that you're not far hence. (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    That I, and under my own roof, had been
+  _Colman 1768_
+    That I, and under my own roof, might be]
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _CLITIPHO alone._
+
+What partial judges of all sons are fathers!
+Who ask gray wisdom from our greener years,
+And think our minds should bear no touch of youth;
+Governing by their passions, now kill'd in them,
+And not by those that formerly rebell'd.
+If ever I've a son, I promise him
+He shall find me an easy father; fit
+To know, and apt to pardon his offenses!
+Not such as mine, who, speaking of another,
+Shows how he'd act in such a case himself:
+Yet when he takes a cup or two too much,
+Oh, what mad pranks he tells me of his own:
+But warns me now "to draw from others' faults
+A profitable lesson for myself."
+Cunning old gentleman! he little knows,
+He pours his proverbs in a deaf man's ear.
+The words of Bacchis, _Give me, Bring me_, now
+Have greater weight with me: to whose commands,
+Alas! I've nothing to reply withal;
+Nor is there man more wretched than myself.
+For Clinia here (though he, I must confess,
+Has cares enough) has got a mistress, modest,
+Well-bred, and stranger to all harlot arts:
+Mine is a self-will'd, wanton, haughty madam,
+Gay, and extravagant; and let her ask
+Whate'er she will, she must not be denied;
+Since poverty I durst not make my plea.
+This is a plague I have but newly found,
+Nor is my father yet appris'd of it.
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE SECOND.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _Enter CLINIA._
+
+CLIN. Had my affairs in love been prosperous,
+They had, I know, been here long since: but, ah,
+I fear she's fall'n from virtue in my absence:
+So many things concur to prove it so,
+My mind misgives me; opportunity,
+The place, her age, an infamous old mother,
+Under whose governance she lives, to whom
+'Naught but gain's precious.
+
+_To him CLITIPHO._
+
+CLIT. Clinia!
+
+CLIN. Woe is me! (_To himself._)
+
+CLIT. Take heed, lest some one issue from your father's,
+And chance to see you here.
+
+CLIN. I will: but yet
+My mind forebodes I know not what of ill.
+
+CLIT. What, still foreboding, ere you know the truth?
+
+CLIN. Had there been no untoward circumstance,
+They had return'd already
+
+CLIT. Patience, Clinia!
+They'll be here presently.
+
+CLIN. Presently! but when?
+
+CLIT. Consider, 'tis a long way off: and then
+You know the ways of women; to set off,
+And trick their persons out, requires an age.
+
+CLIN. Oh Clitipho, I fear----
+
+CLIT. Take courage; see,
+Dromo and Syrus!
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter SYRUS and DROMO, conversing at a distance._
+
+SYRUS. Say you?
+
+DROMO. Even so.
+
+SYRUS. But while we chat, the girls are left behind.
+
+CLIT. (_listening._) Girls, Clinia! do you hear?
+
+CLIN. I hear, I see,
+And now, at last, I'm happy, Clitipho.
+
+DROMO (_to SYRUS_). Left behind! troth, no wonder: so encumber'd;
+A troop of waiting-women at her heels!
+
+CLIN. (_listening_). Confusion! Whence should she have waiting-women?
+
+CLIT. How can I tell?
+
+SYRUS (_to DROMO_). We ought not to have dropp'd them.
+They bring a world of baggage!
+
+CLIN. (_listening_). Death!
+
+SYRUS. Gold, clothes!
+It grows late too, and they may miss their way.
+We've been to blame: Dromo, run back, and meet them.
+Away! quick! don't loiter.
+  (_Exit DROMO._
+
+CLIN. What a wretch!
+All my fair hopes quite blasted!
+
+CLIT. What's the matter?
+What is it troubles you?
+
+CLIN. What troubles me?
+D'ye hear? She waiting-women, gold, and clothes!
+She, whom I left with one poor servant-girl!
+Whence come they, think you?
+
+CLIT. Oh, I take you now.
+
+SYRUS (_to himself_). Gods, what a crowd! our house will hardly hold
+    them.
+What eating, and what drinking will there be!
+How miserable our old gentleman!
+But here are those I wish'd to see!
+  (_Seeing CLIT. and CLIN._)
+
+CLIN. Oh Jove!
+Where then are truth, and faith, and honor fled?
+While I a fugitive, for love of you,
+Quit my dear country, you, Antiphila,
+For sordid gain desert me in distress!
+You, for whose sake I courted infamy,
+And cast off my obedience to my father.
+He, I remember now with grief and shame,
+Oft warn'd me of these women's ways; oft tried
+In vain by sage advice to wean me from her.
+But now I bid farewell to her forever;
+Though, when 'twere good and wholesome, I was froward.
+No wretch more curs'd than I!
+
+SYRUS. He has misconstrued
+All our discourse, I find--You fancy, Clinia,
+Your mistress other than she is. Her life,
+As far as we from circumstance could learn,
+Her disposition tow'rd you, are the same.
+
+CLIN. How! tell me all: for there is naught on earth
+I'd rather know than that my fears are false.
+
+SYRUS. First then, that you may be appris'd of all,
+Th' old woman, thought her mother, was not so:
+That beldam also is deceas'd; for this
+I overheard her, as we came along,
+Telling the other.
+
+CLIT. Other! who? what other?
+
+SYRUS. Let me but finish what I have begun,
+And I shall come to that.
+
+CLIT. Dispatch then.
+
+SYRUS. First,
+Having arriv'd, Dromo knocks at the door:
+Which an old woman had no sooner open'd,
+But in goes Dromo, and I after him.
+Th' old woman bolts the door, and spins again,
+And now, or never, Clinia, might be known,
+Coming thus unexpectedly upon her,
+Antiphila's employments in your absence:
+For such, as then we saw, we might presume
+Her daily practice, which of all things else,
+Betrays the mind and disposition most.
+Busily plying of the web we found her,
+Decently clad in mourning,--I suppose,
+For the deceas'd old woman.--She had on
+No gold or trinkets, but was plain and neat,
+And dress'd like those who dress but for themselves.
+No female varnish to set off her beauty:
+Her hair dishevel'd, long, and flowing loose
+About her shoulders.--Peace! (_To CLINIA._)
+
+CLIN. Nay, prithee, Syrus,
+Do not transport me thus without a cause.
+
+SYRUS. Th' old woman spun the woof; one servant-girl,
+A tatter'd dirty dowdy, weaving by her.
+
+CLIT. Clinia, if this be true, as sure it is,
+Who is more fortunate than you? D'ye mark
+The ragged dirty girl that he describ'd?
+A sign the mistress leads a blameless life,
+When she maintains no flaunting go-between:
+For 'tis a rule with those gallants, who wish
+To win the mistress, first to bribe the maid.
+
+CLIN. Go on, I beg you, Syrus; and take heed
+You fill me not with idle joy.--What said she
+When you nam'd me?
+
+SYRUS. As soon as we inform'd her
+You was return'd, and begg'd her to come to you,
+She left her work immediately, and burst
+Into a flood of tears, which one might see
+Were shed for love of you.
+
+CLIN. By all the Gods,
+I know not where I am for very joy.
+Oh, how I trembled!
+
+CLIT. Without cause, I knew.
+But come; now, Syrus, tell us, who's that other?
+
+SYRUS. Your mistress, Bacchis.
+
+CLIT. How! what! Bacchis? Tell me,
+Where d'ye bring her, rogue?
+
+SYRUS. Where do I bring her?
+To our house certainly.
+
+CLIT. My father's?
+
+SYRUS. Aye.
+
+CLIT. Oh monstrous impudence!
+
+SYRUS. Consider, Sir;
+More danger, the more honor.
+
+CLIT. Look ye, Sirrah,
+You mean to purchase praise at my expense,
+Where the least slip of yours would ruin me.
+What is't you drive at?
+
+SYRUS. But----
+
+CLIT. But what?
+
+SYRUS. I'll tell you,
+Give me but leave!
+
+CLIN. Permit him.
+
+CLIT. Well, I do.
+
+SYRUS. This business--now--is just as if-- (_Drawling._)
+
+CLIT. Confusion!
+What a long roundabout beginning!
+
+CLIN. True.
+To the point, Syrus!
+
+SYRUS. I've no patience with you.
+You use me ill, Sir, and I can't endure it.
+
+CLIN. Hear him: peace, Clitipho! (_To CLITIPHO._)
+
+SYRUS. You'd be in love;
+Possess your mistress; and have wherewithal
+To make her presents: but to gain all this
+You'd risk no danger. By my troth, you're wise,
+If it be wise to wish for what can't be.
+Take good and bad together; both, or none;
+Choose which you will; no mistress, or no danger.
+And yet, the scheme I've laid is fair and safe;
+Your mistress may be with you at your father's
+Without detection; by the self-same means
+I shall procure the sum you've promis'd her,
+Which you have rung so often in my ears,
+You've almost deafen'd them.--What would you more?
+
+CLIT. If it may be so----
+
+SYRUS. If! the proof shall show.
+
+CLIT. Well, well then, what's this scheme?
+
+SYRUS. We will pretend
+That Bacchis is his mistress.
+
+CLIT. Mighty fine!
+What shall become then of his own? Shall she
+Pass for his too, because one's not enough
+To answer for?
+
+SYRUS. No. She shall to your mother.
+
+CLIT. How so?
+
+SYRUS. 'Twere tedious, Clitipho, to tell:
+Let it suffice, I've reason for it.
+
+CLIT. Nonsense!
+I see no ground to make me hazard this.
+
+SYRUS. Well; if you dread this, I've another way,
+Which you shall both own has no danger in't.
+
+CLIT. Aye, prithee, find that out.
+
+SYRUS. With all my heart.
+I'll run and meet the woman on the road,
+And order them to go straight home again.
+
+CLIT. How! what!
+
+SYRUS. I mean to ease you of your fear,
+That you may sleep in peace on either side. (_Going._)
+
+CLIT. What shall I do?
+
+CLIN. E'en profit of his scheme.
+
+CLIT. But, Syrus, tell me then----
+
+SYRUS. Away, away!
+This day too late you'll wish for her in vain. (_Going._)
+
+CLIN. This is your time: enjoy it, while you may:
+Who knows if you may have the like again?
+
+CLIT. Syrus, I say.
+
+SYRUS. Call as you please, I'll on.
+
+CLIT. Clinia, you're right.--Ho, Syrus! Syrus, ho!
+Syrus, I say.
+
+SYRUS. So, he grows hot at last. (_To himself._)
+What would you, Sir? (_Turning about._)
+
+CLIT. Come back, come back!
+
+SYRUS. I'm here. (_Returns._)
+You're pleasure, Sir!--What, will not this content you?
+
+CLIT. Yes, Syrus; me, my passion, and my fame
+I render up to you: dispose of all;
+But see you're not to blame.
+
+SYRUS. Ridiculous!
+Spare your advice, good Clitipho! you know
+Success is my concern still more than yours:
+For if perchance we fail in our attempt,
+You shall have words; but I, alas! dry blows.
+Be sure then of my diligence; and beg
+Your friend to join, and countenance our scheme.
+
+CLIN. Depend on me: I see it must be so.
+
+CLIT. Thanks, my best Clinia!
+
+CLIN. But take heed she trip not.
+
+SYRUS. Oh, she's well instructed.
+
+CLIT. Still I wonder
+How you prevail'd so easily upon her:
+Her, who's so scornful.
+
+SYRUS. I came just in time,
+Time, that in most affairs is all in all:
+For there I found a certain wretched captain,
+Begging her favors. She, an artful baggage,
+Denied him, to inflame his mind the more,
+And make her court to you.--But hark ye, Sir,
+Be cautious of your conduct! no imprudence!
+You know how shrewd and keen your father is;
+And I know your intemperance too well.
+No double-meanings, glances, leers, sighs, hems,
+Coughing, or titt'ring, I beseech you, Sir!
+
+CLIT. I'll play my part----
+
+SYRUS. Look to't!
+
+CLIT. To your content.
+
+SYRUS. But see, the women! they're soon after us. (_Looking out._)
+
+CLIT. Where are they?-- (_SYRUS stops him._) Why d'ye hold me?
+
+SYRUS. She is not
+Your mistress now.
+
+CLIT. True: not before my father.
+But now, meanwhile----
+
+SYRUS. Nor now, meanwhile,
+
+CLIT. Allow me!
+
+SYRUS. No.
+
+CLIT. But a moment!
+
+SYRUS. No.
+
+CLIT. A single kiss!
+
+SYRUS. Away, if you are wise!
+
+CLIT. Well, well, I'm gone.
+--What's he to do?
+
+SYRUS. Stay here.
+
+CLIT. O happy----
+
+SYRUS. March! (_Pushes off CLITIPHO._)
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    Away! quick! don't loiter.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Away! quick, quick! don't loiter.
+
+  _Harper_
+    CLIT. How! what! Bacchis? Tell me,
+    Where d'ye bring her, rogue?
+    SYRUS. Where do I bring her?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    CLIT. How! what! Bacchis?
+    Where d'ye propose to carry her, rogue?
+    SYRUS. Where?
+
+  _Harper_
+    SYRUS. Oh, she's well instructed.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    SYRUS. Oh, she is well instructed.]
+
+
+SCENE III
+
+  _Enter BACCHIS, and ANTIPHILA at a distance._
+
+BACCH. Well, I commend you, my Antiphila:
+Happy, that you have made it still your care,
+That virtue should seem fair as beauty in you!
+Nor Gracious Heav'n so help me, do I wonder
+If ev'ry man should wish you for his own;
+For your discourse bespeaks a worthy mind.
+And when I ponder with myself, and weigh
+Your course of life, and all the rest of those
+Who live not on the common, 'tis not strange,
+Your morals should be different from ours.
+Virtue's your int'rest; those, with whom we deal,
+Forbid it to be ours: For our gallants,
+Charm'd by our beauty, court us but for that;
+Which fading, they transfer their love to others.
+If then meanwhile we look not to ourselves,
+We live forlorn, deserted, and distress'd.
+You, when you've once agreed to pass your life
+Bound to one man, whose temper suits with yours,
+He too attaches his whole heart to you:
+Thus mutual friendship draws you each to each;
+Nothing can part you, nothing shake your love.
+
+ANTI. I know not others'; for myself I know,
+From his content I ever drew my own.
+
+  {_CLINIA and SYRUS apart._}
+
+CLIN. (_overhearing_). Excellent maid! my best Antiphila!
+Thou too, thy love alone is now the cause
+That brings me to my native land again.
+For when away, all evils else were light
+Compar'd to wanting thee.
+
+SYRUS. I do believe it.
+
+CLIN. O Syrus, 'tis too much: I can not bear it.
+Wretch that I am!--and must I be debarr'd
+To give a loose to love, a love like this?
+
+SYRUS. And yet if I may judge your father's mind,
+He has more troubles yet in store for you.
+
+BACCH. Who is that youth that eyes us? (_Seeing CLINIA._)
+
+ANTI. Ha! (_seeing him._)--Support me!
+
+BACCH. Bless me, what now?
+
+ANTI. I faint.
+
+BACCH. Alas, poor soul!
+What is't surprises you, Antiphila?
+
+ANTI. Is't Clinia that I see, or no?
+
+BACCH. Whom do you see?
+
+CLIN. Welcome my soul! (_Running up to her._)
+
+ANTI. My wish'd-for Clinia, welcome!
+
+CLIN. How fares my love?
+
+ANTI. O'erjoyed at your return.
+
+CLIN. And do I hold thee, my Antiphila,
+Thou only wish and comfort of my soul!
+
+SYRUS. In, in, for you have made our good man wait. (_Exeunt._
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE THIRD.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+CHREM. 'Tis now just daybreak.--Why delay I then
+To call my neighbor forth, and be the first
+To tell him of his son's return?--The youth,
+I understand, would fain not have it so.
+But shall I, when I see this poor old man
+Afflict himself so grievously, by silence
+Rob him of such an unexpected joy,
+When the discov'ry can not hurt the son?
+No, I'll not do't; but far as in my pow'r
+Assist the father. As my son, I see,
+Ministers to th' occasions of his friend,
+Associated in counsels, rank, and age,
+So we old men should serve each other too.
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter MENEDEMUS._
+
+MENE. (_to himself_). Sure I'm by nature form'd for misery
+Beyond the rest of humankind, or else
+'Tis a false saying, though a common one,
+"That time assuages grief." For ev'ry day
+My sorrow for the absence of my son
+Grows on my mind: the longer he's away,
+The more impatiently I wish to see him,
+The more pine after him.
+
+CHREM. But he's come forth. (_Seeing MENEDEMUS._)
+Yonder he stands. I'll go and speak with him.
+Good-morrow, neighbor! I have news for you;
+Such news as you'll be overjoy'd to hear.
+
+MENE. Of my son, Chremes?
+
+CHREM. He's alive and well.
+
+MENE. Where?
+
+CHREM. At my house.
+
+MENE. My son?
+
+CHREM. Your son.
+
+MENE. Come home?
+
+CHREM. Come home.
+
+MENE. My dear boy come? my Clinia?
+
+CHREM. He.
+
+MENE. Away then! prithee, bring me to him.
+
+CHREM. Hold!
+He cares not you should know of his return,
+And dreads your sight because of his late trespass.
+He fears, besides, your old severity
+Is now augmented.
+
+MENE. Did not you inform him
+The bent of my affections?
+
+CHREM. Not I.
+
+MENE. Wherefore, Chremes?
+
+CHREM. Because 'twould injure both yourself and him
+To seem of such a poor and broken spirit.
+
+MENE. I can not help it. Too long, much too long,
+I've been a cruel father.
+
+CHREM. Ah, my friend,
+You run into extremes; too niggardly,
+Or, too profuse; imprudent either way.
+First, rather than permit him entertain
+A mistress, who was then content with little,
+And glad of any thing, you drove him hence:
+Whereon the girl was forc'd against her will,
+To grow a common gamester for her bread:
+And now she can't be kept without much cost,
+You'd squander thousands. For to let you know
+How admirably madam's train'd to mischief,
+How finely form'd to ruin her admirers,
+She came to my house yesternight with more
+Than half a score of women at her tail,
+Laden with clothes and jewels.--If she had
+A Prince to her gallant, he could not bear
+Such wild extravagance: much less can you.
+
+MENE. Is she within too?
+
+CHREM. She within! Aye, truly.
+I've found it to my cost: for I have given
+To her and her companions but one supper;
+And to give such another would undo me.
+For, not to dwell on other circumstances,
+Merely to taste, and smack, and spirt about.
+What quantities of wine has she consum'd!
+_This is too rough_, she cries; _some softer, pray!_
+I have pierc'd every vessel, ev'ry cask;
+Kept ev'ry servant running to and fro:
+All this ado, and all in one short night!
+What, Menedemus, must become of you,
+Whom they will prey upon continually?
+Now, afore Heaven, thinking upon this,
+I pitied you.
+
+MENE. Why let him have his will;
+Waste, consume, squander; I'll endure it all,
+So I but have him with me.
+
+CHREM. If resolv'd
+To take that course, I hold it of great moment
+That he perceive not you allow of this.
+
+MENE. What shall I do then?
+
+CHREM. Any thing much rather
+Than what you mean to do: at second-hand
+Supply him; or permit his slave to trick you;
+Though I perceive they're on that scent already,
+And privately contriving how to do't.
+There's Syrus, and that little slave of yours
+In an eternal whisper: the young men
+Consulting too together: and it were
+Better to lose a talent by these means,
+Than on your plan a mina: for at present
+Money is not the question, but the means
+To gratify the youth the safest way.
+For if he once perceives your turn of mind,
+And that you'd rather hazard life, and wealth,
+Than part from him; ah, Menedemus, what
+A window to debauchery you'll open!
+Nay, life itself will grow a burden to you;
+For too much liberty corrupts us all.
+Whatever comes into his head, he'll have;
+Nor think if his demand be right or wrong.
+You, on your part, to see your wealth and son
+Both wreck'd, will not be able to endure.
+You'll not comply with his demands; whereon
+He falls to his old fence immediately,
+And knowing where your weak part lies, will threaten
+To leave you instantly.
+
+MENE. 'Tis very like.
+
+CHREM. Now on my life I have not clos'd my eyes,
+Nor had a single wink of sleep this night,
+For thinking how I might restore your son.
+
+MENE. Give me your hand: and let me beg you, Chremes,
+Continue to assist me!
+
+CHREM. Willingly.
+
+MENE. D'ye know what I would have you do at present?
+
+CHREM. What?
+
+MENE. Since you have found out they meditate
+Some practice on me, prithee, urge them on
+To execute it quickly: for I long
+To grant his wishes, long to see him straight.
+
+CHREM. Let me alone. I must lay hold of Syrus,
+And give him some encouragement.--But see!
+Some one, I know not who, comes forth: In, in,
+Lest they perceive that we consult together!
+I have a little business too in hand.
+Simus and Crito, our two neighbors here,
+Have a dispute about their boundaries;
+And they've referr'd it to my arbitration,
+I'll go and tell them, 'tis not in my power
+To wait on them, as I propos'd to-day.
+I will be with you presently.
+
+MENE. Pray do. (_Exit CHREMES._
+Gods! that the nature of mankind is such,
+To see and judge of the affairs of others
+Much better than their own! Is't therefore so,
+Because that, in our own concerns, we feel
+Too much the influence of joy or sorrow?
+How much more wisely does my neighbor here,
+Consult for me, than I do for myself!
+
+CHREM. (_returning._) I've disengag'd myself! that I might be
+At leisure to attend on your affairs. (_Exit MENEDEMUS._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    So I but have him with me.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    So I but keep him with me.
+
+  _Harper_
+    And that you'd rather hazard life, and wealth,
+    Than part from him; ah, Menedemus, what
+    A window to debauchery you'll open!
+    Nay, life itself will grow a burden to you;
+  _Colman 1768_
+    That you had rather throw away your life,
+    And waste your whole estate, than part with him,
+    Ah, what a window to debauchery
+    You'll open, Menedemus! Such a one,
+    As will embitter even life itself;
+
+  _Harper_
+    Too much the influence of joy or sorrow?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    The influence of joy or grief too nearly?]
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Enter SYRUS at another part of the stage._
+
+SYRUS (_to himself._) This way, or that way, or some way or other!
+For money must be had, and th' old man trick'd.
+
+CHREM. (_overbearing._) Was I deceiv'd in thinking they were at it?
+That slave of Clinia's, it should seem, is dull,
+And so our Syrus has the part assign'd him.
+
+SYRUS. Who's there (_seeing CHREMES_). Undone if he has overheard me.
+    (_Aside._)
+
+CHREM. Syrus.
+
+SYRUS. Sir!
+
+CHREM. What now?
+
+SYRUS. Nothing.--But I wonder
+To see you up so early in the morning,
+Who drank so freely yesterday.
+
+CHREM. Not much.
+
+SYRUS. Not much? You have, Sir, as the proverb goes,
+The old age of an eagle.
+
+CHREM. Ah!
+
+SYRUS. A pleasant,
+Good sort of girl, this wench of Clinia's.
+
+CHREM. Aye, so she seems.
+
+SYRUS. And handsome.
+
+CHREM. Well enough.
+
+SYRUS. Not like the maids of old, but passable,
+As girls go now: nor am I much amaz'd
+That Clinia dotes upon her. But he has,
+Alas, poor lad! a miserable, close,
+Dry, covetous, curmudgeon to his father:
+Our neighbor here; d'ye know him?--Yet, as if
+He did not roll in riches, his poor son
+Was forc'd to run away for very want.
+D'ye know this story?
+
+CHREM. Do I know it? Aye.
+A scoundrel! should be horse-whipp'd.
+
+SYRUS. Who?
+
+CHREM. That slave
+Of Clinia's----
+
+SYRUS. Troth, I trembled for you, Syrus! (_Aside._)
+
+CHREM. Who suffer'd this.
+
+SYRUS. Why what should he have done?
+
+CHREM. What?--have devis'd expedients, contriv'd schemes,
+To raise the cash for the young gentleman
+To make his mistress presents; and have done
+A kindness to th' old hunks against his will.
+
+SYRUS. You jest.
+
+CHREM. Not I: it was his duty, Syrus.
+
+SYRUS. How's this? why prithee then, d'ye praise those slaves,
+Who trick their masters?
+
+CHREM. Yes upon occasion.
+
+SYRUS. Mighty fine, truly!
+
+CHREM. Why, it oft prevents
+A great deal of uneasiness: for instance,
+This Clinia, Menedemus' only son,
+Would never have elop'd.
+
+SYRUS. I can not tell
+Whether he says all this in jest or earnest;
+But it gives fresh encouragement to me. (_Aside._)
+
+CHREM. And now what is't the blockhead waits for, Syrus?
+Is't till his master runs away again,
+When he perceives himself no longer able
+To bear with the expenses of his mistress?
+Has he no plot upon th' old gentleman?
+
+SYRUS. He's a poor creature.
+
+CHREM. But it is your part,
+For Clinia's sake, to lend a helping hand.
+
+SYRUS. Why, that indeed I easily can do,
+If you command me; for I know which way.
+
+CHREM. I take you at your word.
+
+SYRUS. I'll make it good.
+
+CHREM. Do so.
+
+SYRUS. But hark ye, Sir! remember this,
+If ever it hereafter comes to pass,
+--As who can answer for th' affairs of men!
+That your own son----
+
+CHREM. I hope 'twill never be.
+
+SYRUS. I hope so too; nor do I mention this
+From any knowledge or suspicion of him:
+But that in case--his time of life, you know;
+And should there be occasion, trust me, Chremes,
+But I could handle you most handsomely.
+
+CHREM. Well, well, we'll think of it, when that time comes.
+Now to your present task! (_Exit CHREMES._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    SYRUS. This way, or that way, or some way or other!
+    For money must be had, and th' old man trick'd.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    SYRUS. One way, or other, money must be had,
+    And the old gentleman impos'd upon.
+
+  _Harper_
+    CHREM. What?--have devis'd expedients, contriv'd schemes,
+  _Colman 1768_
+    CHREM. What?--have devis'd some scheme, some ways and means
+
+  _Harper_
+    This Clinia, Menedemus' only son,
+    Would never have elop'd.
+    SYRUS. I can not tell
+    Whether he says all this in jest or earnest;
+    But it gives fresh encouragement to me.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    My neighbour Menedemus, well deceiv'd,
+    Would ne'er have seen his son abandon him.
+    SYRUS. I don't know whether he's in jest or earnest,
+    But it gives me encouragement to trick him.
+
+    Now to your present task!
+  _initial "N" invisible in Harper edition_]
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _SYRUS alone._
+
+I never heard
+My master argue more commodiously;
+Nor ever had a mind to mischief, when
+It might be done with more impunity.
+But who's this coming from our house?
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    Nor ever had a mind to mischief, when
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Nor ever was inclin'd to mischief, when]
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _Enter CLITIPHO, and CHREMES following._
+
+CHREM. How now?
+What manners are these, Clitipho? does this
+Become you?
+
+CLIT. What's the matter?
+
+CHREM. Did not I
+This very instant see you put your hand
+Into yon wench's bosom?
+
+SYRUS. So! all's over:
+I am undone. (_Aside._)
+
+CLIT. Me, Sir?
+
+CHREM. These very eyes
+Beheld you: don't deny it.--'Tis base in you
+To be so flippant with your hands. For what
+Affront's more gross than to receive a friend
+Under your roof, and tamper with his mistress?
+And, last night in your cups too, how indecent
+And rudely you behav'd!
+
+SYRUS. 'Tis very true.
+
+CHREM. So very troublesome, so help me Heav'n,
+I fear'd the consequence. I know the ways
+Of lovers: they oft take offense at things
+You dream not of.
+
+CLIT. But my companion, Sir,
+Is confident I would not wrong him.
+
+CHREM. Granted.
+Yet you should cease to hang forever on them.
+Withdraw, and leave them sometimes to themselves.
+Love has a thousand sallies; you restrain them.
+I can conjecture from myself. There's none,
+How near soever, Clitipho, to whom
+I dare lay open all my weaknesses.
+With one my pride forbids it, with another
+The very action shames me: and believe me,
+It is the same with him; and 'tis our place
+To mark on what occasions to indulge him.
+
+SYRUS. What says he now? (_Aside._)
+
+CLIT. Confusion!
+
+SYRUS. Clitipho,
+These are the very precepts that I gave you:
+And how discreet and temperate you've been!
+
+CLIT. Prithee, peace!
+
+SYRUS. Aye, I warrant you.
+
+CHREM. Oh, Syrus,
+I'm quite asham'd of him.
+
+SYRUS. I do not doubt it.
+Nor without reason; for it troubles me.
+
+CLIT. Still, rascal!
+
+SYRUS. Nay, I do but speak the truth.
+
+CLIT. May I not then go near them?
+
+CHREM. Prithee, then,
+Is there _one_ way alone of going near them?
+
+SYRUS. Confusion! he'll betray himself before
+I get the money. (_Aside._)--Chremes, will you once
+Hear a fool's counsel?
+
+CHREM. What do you advise?
+
+SYRUS. Order your son about his business.
+
+CLIT. Whither?
+
+SYRUS. Whither! where'er you please. Give place to them.
+Go take a walk.
+
+CLIT. Walk! where?
+
+SYRUS. A pretty question!
+This, that, or any way.
+
+CHREM. He says right. Go!
+
+CLIT. Now, plague upon you, Syrus! (_Going._)
+
+SYRUS (_to CLITIPHO, going_). Henceforth, learn
+To keep those hands of yours at rest. (_Exit CLITIPHO._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+    CLIT. Still, rascal!
+  _1768 edition has question mark_]
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _CHREMES, SYRUS._
+
+D'ye mind?
+What think you, Chremes, will become of him,
+Unless you do your utmost to preserve,
+Correct, and counsel him?
+
+CHREM. I'll take due care.
+
+SYRUS. But now's your time, Sir, to look after him.
+
+CHREM. It shall be done.
+
+SYRUS. It must be, if you're wise:
+For ev'ry day he minds me less and less.
+
+CHREM. But, Syrus, say, what progress have you made
+In that affair I just now mention'd to you?
+Have you struck out a scheme that pleases you?
+Or are you still to seek?
+
+SYRUS. The plot, you mean,
+On Menedemus. I've just hit on one.
+
+CHREM. Good fellow! prithee now, what is't?
+
+SYRUS. I'll tell you.
+But as one thing brings in another----
+
+CHREM. Well?
+
+SYRUS. This Bacchis is a sad jade.
+
+CHREM. So it seems.
+
+SYRUS. Aye, Sir, if you knew all; nay, even now
+She's hatching mischief.--Dwelling hereabouts,
+There was of late an old Corinthian woman,
+To whom this Bacchis lent a thousand pieces.
+
+CHREM. What then?
+
+SYRUS. The woman's dead; and left behind
+A daughter, very young, whom she bequeath'd,
+By way of pledge, to Bacchis for the money.
+
+CHREM. I understand.
+
+SYRUS. This girl came here with Bacchis,
+And now is with your wife.
+
+CHREM. What then?
+
+SYRUS. She begs
+Of Clinia to advance the cash; for which
+She'll give the girl as an equivalent.
+She wants the thousand pieces.
+
+CHREM. Does she so?
+
+SYRUS. No doubt on't.
+
+CHREM. So I thought.--And what do you
+Intend to do?
+
+SYRUS. Who? I, Sir? I'll away
+To Menedemus presently; and tell him
+This maiden is a rich and noble captive,
+Stolen from Caria; and to ransom her
+Will greatly profit him.
+
+CHREM. 'Twill never do.
+
+SYRUS. How so?
+
+CHREM. I answer now for Menedemus.
+_I will not purchase her._ What say you now?
+
+SYRUS. Give a more favorable answer!
+
+CHREM. No,
+There's no occasion.
+
+SYRUS. No occasion?
+
+CHREM. No.
+
+SYRUS. I can not comprehend you.
+
+CHREM. I'll explain.
+--But hold! what now? whence comes it that our door
+Opens so hastily?
+
+  [Changes:
+
+    _CHREMES, SYRUS._
+  _character names supplied from 1768 edition_]
+
+
+SCENE VII.
+
+  _Enter at a distance SOSTRATA with a ring, and the NURSE._
+
+SOSTRA. Or I'm deceiv'd,
+Or this is certainly the very ring;
+The ring with which my daughter was expos'd.
+
+CHREM. (_to SYRUS, behind_). What can those words mean, Syrus?
+
+SOSTRA. Tell me, Nurse!
+Does it appear to you to be the same?
+
+NURSE. Aye, marry: and the very moment that
+You show'd it me, I said it was the same.
+
+SOSTRA. But have you thoroughly examin'd, Nurse?
+
+NURSE. Aye, thoroughly.
+
+SOSTRA. In then, and let me know
+If she has yet done bathing; and meanwhile
+I'll wait my husband here. (_Exit NURSE._
+
+SYRUS. She wants you, Sir! inquire
+What she would have. She's grave, I know not why.
+'Tis not for nothing; and I fear the cause.
+
+CHREM. The cause? pshaw! nothing. She'll take mighty pains
+To be deliver'd of some mighty trifle.
+
+SOSTRA. (_seeing them_). Oh husband!
+
+CHREM. Oh wife!
+
+SOSTRA. I was looking for you,
+
+CHREM. Your pleasure?
+
+SOSTRA. First, I must entreat you then,
+Believe, I would not dare do any thing
+Against your order.
+
+CHREM. What! must I believe
+A thing past all belief?--I do believe it.
+
+SYRUS. This exculpation bodes some fault, I'm sure. (_Aside._)
+
+SOSTRA. Do you remember, I was pregnant once,
+When you assur'd me with much earnestness,
+That if I were deliver'd of a girl,
+You would not have the child brought up?
+
+CHREM. I know
+What you have done. You have brought up the child.
+
+SYRUS. Madam, if so, my master gains a loss.
+
+SOSTRA. No, I have not: but there was at that time
+An old Corinthian woman dwelling here,
+To whom I gave the child to be expos'd.
+
+CHREM. O Jupiter! was ever such a fool!
+
+SOSTRA. Ah, what have I committed?
+
+CHREM. What committed!
+
+SOSTRA. If I've offended, Chremes, 'tis a crime
+Of ignorance, and nothing of my purpose.
+
+CHREM. Own it or not, I know it well enough,
+That ignorantly, and imprudently,
+You do and say all things; how many faults
+In this one action are you guilty of!
+For first, had you complied with my commands,
+The girl had been dispatch'd; and not her death
+Pretended, and hopes given of her life.
+But that I do not dwell upon: You'll cry,
+"--Pity,--a mother's fondness."--I allow it.
+But then how rarely you provided for her!
+What could you mean? consider!--for 'tis plain,
+You have betray'd your child to that old beldam,
+Either for prostitution, or for sale.
+So she but liv'd, it was enough, you thought:
+No matter how, or what vile life she led.
+--What can one do, or how proceed, with those,
+Who know of neither reason, right, nor justice?
+Better or worse, for or against, they see
+Nothing but what they list.
+
+SOSTRA. My dearest Chremes,
+I own I have offended: I'm convinc'd.
+But since you're more experienc'd than myself,
+I pray you be the more indulgent too,
+And let my weakness shelter in your justice.
+
+CHREM. Well, well, I pardon you: but, Sostrata,
+Forgiving you thus easily, I do
+But teach you to offend again. But come,
+Say, wherefore you began this?
+
+SOSTRA. As we women
+Are generally weak and superstitious,
+When first to this Corinthian old woman
+I gave the little infant, from my finger
+I drew a ring, and charg'd her to expose
+That with my daughter: that if chance she died,
+She might have part of our possessions with her.
+
+CHREM. 'Twas right: you thus preserv'd yourself and her.
+
+SOSTRA. This is that ring.
+
+CHREM. Where had it you?
+
+SOSTRA. The girl
+That Bacchis brought with her----
+
+SYRUS. Ha! (_Aside._)
+
+CHREM. What says she?
+
+SOSTRA. Desir'd I'd keep it while she went to bathe.
+I took no notice on't, at first; but I
+No sooner look'd on't than I knew't again,
+And straight ran out to you.
+
+CHREM. And what d'ye think,
+Or know concerning her?
+
+SOSTRA. I can not tell,
+Till you inquire it of herself, and find,
+If possible, from whence she had the ring.
+
+SYRUS. Undone! I see more hope than I desire.
+She's ours, if this be so. (_Aside._)
+
+CHREM. Is she alive
+To whom you gave the child?
+
+SOSTRA. I do not know.
+
+CHREM. What did she tell you formerly?
+
+SOSTRA. That she
+Had done what I commanded her.
+
+CHREM. Her name;
+That we may make inquiry.
+
+SOSTRA. Philtere.
+
+SYRUS. The very same! she's found, and I am lost. (_Aside._)
+
+CHREM. In with me, Sostrata!
+
+SOSTRA. Beyond my hopes.
+How much I fear'd you should continue still
+So rigidly inclin'd, as formerly,
+When you refus'd to educate her, Chremes!
+
+CHREM. Men can not always be as they desire,
+But must be govern'd by their fortunes still.
+The times are alter'd with me, and I wish
+To have a daughter now; then, nothing less.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    SYRUS. She wants you, Sir! inquire
+    What she would have. She's grave, I know not why.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    SYRUS. She wants you, Sir!
+    Enquire, what she would have. She's very grave.]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FOURTH.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _SYRUS, alone._
+
+My mind misgives me, my defeat is nigh,
+This unexpected incident has driven
+My forces into such a narrow pass,
+I can not even handsomely retreat
+Without some feint, to hinder our old man
+From seeing that this wench is Clitipho's.
+As for the money, and the trick I dream'd of,
+Those hopes are flown, and I shall hold it triumph,
+So I but 'scape a scouring--Cursed fortune,
+To have so delicate a morsel snatch'd
+Out of my very jaws!--What shall I do?
+What new device? for I must change my plan.
+--Nothing so difficult, but may be won
+By industry.--Suppose, I try it thus. (_Thinking._)
+--'Twill never do.--Or thus?--No better still.
+But thus I think.--No, no.--Yes, excellent!
+Courage! I have it.--Good!--Good!--best of all!----
+--'Faith, I begin to hope to lay fast hold
+Of that same slipp'ry money after all.
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter CLINIA at another part of the stage._
+
+CLIN. Henceforward, fate, do with me what thou wilt!
+Such is my joy, so full and absolute,
+I can not know vexation. From this hour
+To you, my father, I resign myself,
+Content to be more frugal than you wish!
+
+SYRUS (_overhearing_). 'Tis just as I suppos'd. The girl's acknowledged;
+His raptures speak it so.-- (_Going up._) I'm overjoyed
+That things have happen'd to your wish.
+
+CLIN. O Syrus!
+Have you then heard it too?
+
+SYRUS. I heard it? Aye:
+I, who was present at the very time!
+
+CLIN. Was ever any thing so lucky?
+
+SYRUS. Nothing.
+
+CLIN. Now, Heav'n so help me, I rejoice at this
+On her account much rather than my own,
+Her, whom I know worthy the highest honors.
+
+SYRUS. No doubt on't.--But now, Clinia, hold a while!
+Give me a moment's hearing in my turn.
+For your friend's business must be thought of now,
+And well secur'd, lest our old gentleman
+Suspect about the wench.
+
+CLIN. O Jupiter! (_In raptures._)
+
+SYRUS. Peace! (_Impatiently._)
+
+CLIN. My Antiphila shall be my wife.
+
+SYRUS. And will you interrupt me?
+
+CLIN. Oh, my Syrus,
+What can I do! I'm overjoy'd. Bear with me.
+
+SYRUS. Troth so I do.
+
+CLIN. We're happy, as the Gods.
+
+SYRUS. I lose my labor on you.
+
+CLIN. Speak; I hear.
+
+SYRUS. Aye, but you don't attend.
+
+CLIN. I'm all attention.
+
+SYRUS. I say then, Clinia, that your friend's affairs
+Must be attended to, and well secur'd:
+For if you now depart abruptly from us,
+And leave the wench upon our hands, my master
+Will instantly discover she belongs
+To Clitipho. But if you take her off,
+It will remain, as still it is, a secret.
+
+CLIN. But, Syrus, this is flatly opposite
+To what I most devoutly wish, my marriage,
+For with what face shall I accost my father?
+D'ye understand me?
+
+SYRUS. Aye.
+
+CLIN. What can I say?
+What reason can I give him?
+
+SYRUS. Tell no lie.
+Speak the plain truth.
+
+CLIN. How?
+
+SYRUS. Every syllable.
+Tell him your passion for Antiphila;
+Tell him you wish to marry her, and tell him,
+Bacchis belongs to Clitipho.
+
+CLIN. 'Tis well,
+In reason, and may easily be done:
+And then besides you'd have me win my father,
+To keep it hid from your old gentleman.
+
+SYRUS. No; rather to prevail on him, to go
+And tell him the whole truth immediately.
+
+CLIN. How? are you mad? or drunk? You'll be the ruin
+Of Clitipho: for how can he be safe?
+Eh, Sirrah!
+
+SYRUS. That's my master-piece: this plot
+Is my chief glory, and I'm proud to think
+I have such force, such power of cunning in me,
+As to be able to deceive them both,
+By speaking the plain truth: that when your father
+Tells Chremes, Bacchis is his own son's mistress,
+He sha'n't believe it.
+
+CLIN. But that way again
+You blast my hopes of marriage: for while Chremes
+Supposes her my mistress, he'll not grant
+His daughter to me. You, perhaps, don't care,
+So you provide for him, what comes of me.
+
+SYRUS. Why, plague! d'ye think I'd have you counterfeit
+Forever? but a day, to give me time
+To bubble Chremes of the money.--Peace!
+Not an hour more.
+
+CLIN. Is that sufficient for you?
+But then, suppose his father find it out!
+
+SYRUS. Suppose, as some folks say, the sky should fall!
+
+CLIN. Still I'm afraid.
+
+SYRUS. Afraid indeed, as if
+It was not in your pow'r, whene'er you pleas'd,
+To clear yourself, and tell the whole affair.
+
+CLIN. Well, well, let Bacchis be brought over then!
+
+SYRUS. Well said; and here she comes.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    SYRUS. I heard it? Aye:
+  _Colman 1768_
+    SYRUS. Undoubtedly.]
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Enter BACCHIS, PHRYGIA, etc., at another part of the stage._
+
+BACCH. Upon my life,
+This Syrus with his golden promises
+Has fool'd me hither charmingly! Ten minæ
+He gave me full assurance of: but if
+He now deceives me, come whene'er he will,
+Canting and fawning to allure me hither,
+It shall be all in vain; I will not stir.
+Or when I have agreed, and fix'd a time,
+Of which he shall have giv'n his master notice,
+And Clitipho is all agog with hope,
+I'll fairly jilt them both, and not come near them;
+And master Syrus' back shall smart for it.
+
+CLIN. She promises you very fair.
+
+SYRUS. D'ye think
+She jests? She'll do it, if I don't take heed.
+
+BACCH. They sleep: i' faith, I'll rouse them. Hark ye, Phrygia,
+Didst note the villa of Charinus, which
+That fellow just now show'd us? (_Aloud._)
+
+PHRY. I did, Madam.
+
+BACCH. The next house on the right hand. (_Aloud._)
+
+PHRY. I remember.
+
+BACCH. Run thither quickly: for the Captain spends
+The Dionysia there. (_Aloud._)
+
+SYRUS (_behind_). What means she now?
+
+BACCH. Tell him I'm here; and sore against my will,
+Detain'd by force; but that I'll find some means
+To slip away and come to him. (_Aloud._)
+
+SYRUS. Confusion!-- (_Comes forward._)
+Stay, Bacchis, Bacchis! where d'ye send that girl?
+Bid her stop!
+
+BACCH. Go! (_To PHRYGIA._)
+
+SYRUS. The money's ready.
+
+BACCH. Then
+I stay. (_PHRYGIA returns._)
+
+SYRUS. This instant you shall have it, Bacchis.
+
+BACCH. When you please; I don't press you.
+
+SYRUS. But d'ye know
+What you're to do?
+
+BACCH. Why, what?
+
+SYRUS. You must go over,
+You and your equipage, to Menedemus.
+
+BACCH. What are you at now, sauce-box?
+
+SYRUS. Coining money
+For your use, Bacchis.
+
+BACCH. Do you think to play
+Your jests on me?
+
+SYRUS. No; this is downright earnest.
+
+BACCH. Are you the person I'm to deal with?
+
+SYRUS. No.
+But there I'll pay the money.
+
+BACCH. Let us go then!
+
+SYRUS. Follow her there.----Ho, Dromo!
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    Didst note the villa of Charinus, which
+    That fellow just now show'd us?
+    PHRY. I did, Madam.
+    BACCH. The next house on the right hand.
+    PHRY. I remember.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Did you observe the villa of Charinus,
+    Which yonder fellow shew'd us?
+    PHRY. I did, Madam.
+    BACCH. The next upon the right.
+    PHRY. I recollect.
+
+  _Harper_
+    Detain'd by force; but that I'll find some means
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Detain'd by force; but I'll devise some means
+
+  _Harper_
+    SYRUS. The money's ready.
+    BACCH. Then
+    I stay.
+    SYRUS. This instant you shall have it, Bacchis.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    SYRUS. The money's ready for you
+    BACCH. Oh! then I stay.
+    SYRUS. You shall be paid directly.
+
+  _Harper_
+    But there I'll pay the money.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    But 'twill secure your money.]
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Enter DROMO._
+
+DROMO. Who calls?
+
+SYRUS. Syrus.
+
+DROMO. Your pleasure! What's the matter now?
+
+SYRUS. Conduct
+All Bacchis' maids to your house instantly.
+
+DROMO. Why so?
+
+SYRUS. No questions: let them carry over
+All they brought hither. Our old gentleman
+Will think himself reliev'd from much expense
+By their departure. Troth, he little knows
+With how much loss this small gain threatens him.
+If you're wise, Dromo, know not what you know.
+
+DROMO. I'm dumb.
+
+  (_Exit DROMO, with BACCHIS' servants and baggage, into the house of
+  MENEDEMUS._
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _After which, enter CHREMES._
+
+CHREM. (_to himself_). 'Fore Heav'n, I pity Menedemus.
+His case is lamentable: to maintain
+That jade and all her harlot family!
+Although I know for some few days to come
+He will not feel it; so exceedingly
+He long'd to have his son: but when he sees
+Such monstrous household riot and expense
+Continue daily, without end or measure,
+He'll wish his son away from him again.
+But yonder's Syrus in good time. (_Seeing SYRUS._)
+
+SYRUS. I'll to him. (_Aside._)
+
+CHREM. Syrus!
+
+SYRUS. Who's there? (_Turning about._)
+
+CHREM. What now?
+
+SYRUS. The very man!
+I have been wishing for you this long time.
+
+CHREM. You seem to've been at work with the old man.
+
+SYRUS. What! at our plot? No sooner said than done.
+
+CHREM. Indeed!
+
+SYRUS. Indeed.
+
+CHREM. I can't forbear to stroke
+Your head for it. Good lad! come nearer, Syrus!
+I'll do thee some good turn for this. I will,
+I promise you. (_Patting his head._)
+
+SYRUS. Ah, if you did but know
+How luckily it came into my head!
+
+CHREM. Pshaw, are you vain of your good luck?
+
+SYRUS. Not I.
+I speak the plain truth.
+
+CHREM. Let me know it then.
+
+SYRUS. Clinia has told his father that the wench
+Is mistress to your Clitipho; and that
+He brought her with him hither, to prevent
+Your smoking it.
+
+CHREM. Incomparable!
+
+SYRUS. Really?
+
+CHREM. O, admirable!
+
+SYRUS. Aye, if you knew all.
+But only hear the rest of our advice.
+He'll tell his father he has seen your daughter,
+Whose beauty has so charm'd him at first sight,
+He longs to marry her.
+
+CHREM. Antiphila?
+
+SYRUS. The same: and he'll request him to demand her
+Of you in marriage.
+
+CHREM. To what purpose, Syrus?
+I don't conceive the drift on't.
+
+SYRUS. No! you're slow.
+
+CHREM. Perhaps so.
+
+SYRUS. Menedemus instantly
+Will furnish him with money for the wedding,
+To buy----d'ye take me?
+
+CHREM. Clothes and jewels.
+
+SYRUS. Aye.
+
+CHREM. But I will neither marry, nor betroth
+My daughter to him.
+
+SYRUS. No? Why?
+
+CHREM. Why!--is that
+A question? to a wretch!----
+
+SYRUS. Well, as you please.
+I never meant that he should marry her,
+But only to pretend----
+
+CHREM. I hate pretense.
+Plot as you please, but do not render me
+An engine in your rogueries. Shall I
+Contract my daughter, where I never can
+Consent to marry her?
+
+SYRUS. I fancied so.
+
+CHREM. Not I.
+
+SYRUS. It might be done most dextrously:
+And, in obedience to your strict commands,
+I undertook this business.
+
+CHREM. I believe it.
+
+SYRUS. However, Sir, I meant it well.
+
+CHREM. Nay, nay,
+Do't by all means, and spare no trouble in't;
+But bring your scheme to bear some other way.
+
+SYRUS. It shall be done: I'll think upon some other.
+--But then the money which I mention'd to you,
+Owing to Bacchis by Antiphila,
+Must be repaid her: and you will not now
+Attempt to shift the matter off; or say,
+"--What is't to me? was I the borrower?
+Did I command it? Could she pledge my daughter
+Against my will?"----You can say none of this;
+For 'tis a common saying, and a true,
+That strictest law is oft the highest wrong.
+
+CHREM. I mean not to evade it.
+
+SYRUS. No, I'll warrant.
+Nay you, though others did, could never think on't;
+For all the world imagines you've acquir'd
+A fair and handsome fortune.
+
+CHREM. I will carry
+The money to her instantly myself.
+
+SYRUS. No; rather send it by your son.
+
+CHREM. Why so!
+
+SYRUS. Because he acts the part of her gallant.
+
+CHREM. What then?
+
+SYRUS. Why then 'twill seem more probable,
+If he presents it: I too shall effect
+My scheme more easily.--And here he is.----
+In, Sir, and fetch the money out.
+
+CHREM. I will. (_Exit CHREMES._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    _After which, enter CHREMES._
+  _Colman 1768_
+    _Enter CHREMES._
+
+  _Harper_
+    CHREM. You seem to've been at work with the old man.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    CHREM. You seem to've been at work with Menedemus.
+
+  _Harper_
+    He brought her with him hither, to prevent
+    Your smoking it.
+    CHREM. Incomparable!
+    SYRUS. Really?
+    CHREM. O, admirable!
+    SYRUS. Aye, if you knew all.
+    But only hear the rest of our advice.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    He brought her over with him to their house,
+    To hinder your detecting it.
+    CHREM. Good! good!
+    SYRUS. D'ye think so?
+    CHREM. Charming!
+    SYRUS. Aye, if you knew all.
+    But only hear the rest of our device.
+
+  _Harper_
+    Against my will?"----You can say none of this;
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Against my will?"----These pleas you cannot urge;]
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _Enter CLITIPHO._
+
+CLIT. (_to himself_). Nothing so easy in itself, but when
+Perform'd against one's will, grows difficult.
+This little walk how easy! yet how faint
+And weary it has made me!--and I fear
+Lest I be still excluded, and forbid
+To come near Bacchis. (_Seeing SYRUS._)--Now all powers above.
+Confound you, Syrus, for the trick you play'd me!
+That brain of yours is evermore contriving
+Some villainy to torture me withal.
+
+SYRUS. Away, you malapert! Your frowardness
+Had well-nigh ruin'd me.
+
+CLIT. I would it had,
+As you deserv'd!
+
+SYRUS. As I deserv'd!--How's that?----
+Before you touch'd the cash, that I was just
+About to give you.
+
+CLIT. Why, what can I say?
+You went away; came back, beyond my hopes,
+And brought my mistress with you; then again
+Forbade my touching her.
+
+SYRUS. Well, well, I can't
+Be peevish with you now--But do you know
+Where Bacchis is?
+
+CLIT. At our house.
+
+SYRUS. No.
+
+CLIT. Where then?
+
+SYRUS. At Clinia's.
+
+CLIT. Then I'm ruin'd.
+
+SYRUS. Courage, man!
+You shall go to her instantly, and carry
+The money that you promis'd her.
+
+CLIT. Fine talk!
+Where should I get it?
+
+SYRUS. From your father.
+
+CLIT. Pshaw!
+You play upon me.
+
+SYRUS. The event shall show.
+
+CLIT. Then I am bless'd indeed. Thanks, thanks, dear Syrus!
+
+SYRUS. Hist! here's your father.--Have a care! don't seem
+Surpris'd at any thing: give way in all:
+Do as he bids, and say but little. Mum!
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    SYRUS. Away, you malapert! Your frowardness
+    Had well-nigh ruin'd me.
+    CLIT. I would it had,
+    As you deserv'd!
+    SYRUS. As I deserv'd!--How's that?----
+  _Colman 1768_
+    SYRUS. Away, you malapert! Your frowardness
+    Had well-nigh been my ruin.
+    CLIT. Would it had!
+    For you deserv'd it richly.
+    SYRUS. How! deserv'd it?
+    I'faith I'm glad I heard you say so much]
+
+
+SCENE VII.
+
+  _Enter CHREMES._
+
+CHREM. Where's Clitipho?
+
+SYRUS (_to CLITIPHO_). Here, say.
+
+CLIT. Here, Sir!
+
+CHREM. Have you
+Inform'd him of the business? (_To SYRUS._)
+
+SYRUS. In good part.
+
+CHREM. Here, take the money then, and carry it. (_To CLITIPHO._)
+
+SYRUS. Plague, how you stand, log!--take it.
+
+CLIT. Give it me. (_Awkwardly._)
+
+SYRUS. Now in with me immediately!--You, Sir, (_To CHREMES._)
+Be pleas'd meanwhile to wait our coming here;
+There's nothing to detain us very long.
+                (_Exit CLITIPHO and SYRUS._
+
+
+SCENE VIII.
+
+  _CHREMES alone._
+
+My daughter now has had ten minæ of me,
+Which I account laid out upon her board:
+Ten more her clothes will come to: and moreover
+Two talents for her portion.----How unjust
+And absolute is custom! I must now
+Leave every thing, and find a stranger out,
+On whom I may bestow the sum of wealth
+Which I have so much labor'd to acquire.
+
+
+SCENE IX.
+
+  _Enter MENEDEMUS._
+
+MENE. (_to himself_). Oh son, how happy hast thou made thy father,
+Convinc'd of thy repentance!
+
+CHREM. (_overhearing_). How mistaken!
+
+MENE. Chremes! I wish'd for you.--'Tis in your power,
+And I beseech you do it, to preserve
+My son, myself, and family.
+
+CHREM. I'll do't.
+Wherein can I oblige you?
+
+MENE. You to-day
+Have found a daughter.
+
+CHREM. True. What then?
+
+MENE. My Clinia
+Begs your consent to marry her.
+
+CHREM. Good Heaven!
+What kind of man are you?
+
+MENE. What mean you, Chremes?
+
+CHREM. Has it then slipp'd your memory so soon,
+The conversation that we had together,
+Touching the rogueries they should devise,
+To trick you of your money?
+
+MENE. I remember.
+
+CHREM. This is the trick.
+
+MENE. How, Chremes? I'm deceiv'd.
+'Tis as you say. From what a pleasing hope
+Have I then fall'n!
+
+CHREM. And she, I warrant you,
+Now at your house, is my son's mistress? Eh!
+
+MENE. So they say.
+
+CHREM. What! and you believ'd it?
+
+MENE. All.
+
+CHREM. --And they say too he wants to marry her;
+That soon as I've consented, you may give him
+Money to furnish her with jewels, clothes,
+And other necessaries.
+
+MENE. Aye, 'tis so:
+The money's for his mistress.
+
+CHREM. To be sure.
+
+MENE. Alas, my transports are all groundless then.
+--Yet I would rather bear with any thing,
+Than lose my son again.--What answer, Chremes,
+Shall I return with, that he mayn't perceive
+I've found him out, and take offense?
+
+CHREM. Offense!
+You're too indulgent to him, Menedemus!
+
+MENE. Allow me. I've begun, and must go through.
+Do but continue to assist me.
+
+CHREM. Say,
+That we have met, and treated of the match.
+
+MENE. Well; and what else?
+
+CHREM. That I give full consent;
+That I approve my son-in-law;--In short,
+You may assure him also, if you please,
+That I've betroth'd my daughter to him.
+
+MENE. Good!
+The thing I wanted.
+
+CHREM. So shall he the sooner
+Demand the money; you, as you desire,
+The sooner give.
+
+MENE. 'Tis my desire indeed.
+
+CHREM. 'Troth, friend, as far as I can judge of this,
+You'll soon be weary of your son again.
+But as the case now stands, give cautiously,
+A little at a time, if you are wise.
+
+MENE. I will.
+
+CHREM. Go in, and see what he demands.
+If you should want me, I'm at home.
+
+MENE. 'Tis well.
+For I shall let you know, do what I will. (_Exeunt severally._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    Do but continue to assist me.
+    CHREM. Say,
+    That we have met, and treated of the match.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Do but continue to assist me, Chremes.
+    CHREM. Say we have met, and treated of the match.
+
+  _Harper_
+    MENE. Good!
+    The thing I wanted.
+    CHREM. So shall he the sooner
+    Demand the money; you, as you desire,
+    The sooner give.
+    MENE. 'Tis my desire indeed.
+    CHREM. 'Troth, friend, as far as I can judge of this,
+    You'll soon be weary of your son again.
+    But as the case now stands, give cautiously,
+    A little at a time, if you are wise.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    MENE. Good!
+    The very thing I wanted.
+    CHREM. So your son
+    The sooner shall demand the money of you;
+    And so shall you, according to your wish
+    The sooner give.
+    MENE. It is my wish indeed.
+    CHREM. 'Fore heaven, friend, as far as I can judge,
+    You'll soon be weary of your son again.
+    But be it as it may, give cautiously,
+    A little at a time, if you are wise.]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FIFTH.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _MENEDEMUS alone._
+
+That I'm not overwise, no conjurer,
+I know full well: but my assistant here,
+And counselor, and grand controller Chremes,
+Outgoes me far: dolt, blockhead, ninny, ass;
+Or these, or any other common terms
+By which men speak of fools, befit me well:
+But him they suit not: his stupidity
+Is so transcendent, it exceeds them all.
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter CHREMES._
+
+CHREM. (_to SOSTRATA, within_). Nay prithee, good wife, cease to stun
+    the Gods
+With thanking them that you have found your daughter;
+Unless you fancy they are like yourself,
+And think they can not understand a thing
+Unless said o'er and o'er a hundred times.
+--But meanwhile (_coming forward_) wherefore do my son and Syrus
+Loiter so long?
+
+MENE. Who are those loiterers, Chremes?
+
+CHREM. Ha, Menedemus, are you there?--Inform me,
+Have you told Clinia what I said?
+
+MENE. The whole.
+
+CHREM. And what said he?
+
+MENE. Grew quite transported at it,
+Like those who wish for marriage.
+
+CHREM. Ha! ha! ha!
+
+MENE. What do you laugh at?
+
+CHREM. I was thinking of
+The cunning rogueries of that slave, Syrus. (_Laughing._)
+
+MENE. Oh, was that it?
+
+CHREM. Why, he can form and mould
+The very visages of men, a rogue! (_Laughing._)
+
+MENE. Meaning my son's well-acted transport?
+
+CHREM. Aye. (_Laughing._)
+
+MENE. The very same thing I was thinking of.
+
+CHREM. A subtle villain! (_Laughing._)
+
+MENE. Nay, if you knew more,
+You'd be still more convinc'd on't.
+
+CHREM. Say you so?
+
+MENE. Aye; do but hear.
+
+CHREM. (_laughing_). Hold! hold! inform me first
+How much you're out of pocket. For as soon
+As you inform'd your son of my consent,
+Dromo, I warrant, gave you a broad hint
+That the bride wanted jewels, clothes, attendants;
+That you might pay the money.
+
+MENE. No.
+
+CHREM. How? No?
+
+MENE. No, I say.
+
+CHREM. What! nor Clinia?
+
+MENE. Not a word;
+But only press'd the marriage for to-day.
+
+CHREM. Amazing!--But our Syrus? Did not he
+Throw in a word or two?
+
+MENE. Not he.
+
+CHREM. How so?
+
+MENE. Faith I can't tell: but I'm amaz'd that you,
+Who see so clearly into all the rest,
+Should stick at this.--But that arch villain Syrus
+Has form'd and moulded your son too so rarely.
+That nobody can have the least suspicion
+That this is Clinia's mistress.
+
+CHREM. How?
+
+MENE. I pass
+Their kisses and embraces. All that's nothing.
+
+CHREM. What is there more than he can counterfeit?
+
+MENE. Ah! (_Smiling._)
+
+CHREM. What d'ye mean?
+
+MENE. Nay, do but hear. I have
+A private snug apartment, a back room,
+Whither a bed was brought and made.
+
+CHREM. What then?
+
+MENE. No sooner done, than in went Clitipho.
+
+CHREM. Alone?
+
+MENE. Alone.
+
+CHREM. I tremble.
+
+MENE. Bacchis follow'd.
+
+CHREM. Alone?
+
+MENE. Alone.
+
+CHREM. Undone!
+
+MENE. No sooner in,
+But they made fast the door.
+
+CHREM. Ha! And was Clinia
+Witness to this?
+
+MENE. He was.--Both he and I.
+
+CHREM. Bacchis is my son's mistress, Menedemus.
+I'm ruin'd.
+
+MENE. Why d'ye think so?
+
+CHREM. Mine is scarce
+A ten-days' family.
+
+MENE. What are you dismay'd
+Because he sticks so closely to his friend?
+
+CHREM. Friend! His she-friend.
+
+MENE. If so----
+
+CHREM. Is that a doubt?
+Is any man so courteous, and so patient,
+As tamely to stand by and see his mistress----
+
+MENE. Ha, ha, ha! Why not?--That I, you know,
+Might be more easily impos'd upon. (_Ironically._)
+
+CHREM. D'ye laugh at me? I'm angry with myself:
+And well I may. How many circumstances
+Conspir'd to make it gross and palpable,
+Had I not been a stone!--What things I saw!
+Fool, fool! But by my life I'll be reveng'd:
+For now----
+
+MENE. And can't you then contain yourself?
+Have you no self-respect? And am not I
+A full example for you?
+
+CHREM. Menedemus,
+My anger throws me quite beside myself.
+
+MENE. That you should talk thus! is it not a shame
+To be so lib'ral of advice to others,
+So wise abroad, and poor in sense at home?
+
+CHREM. What shall I do?
+
+MENE. That which but even now
+You counsel'd me to do: Give him to know
+That you're indeed a father: let him dare
+Trust his whole soul to you, seek, ask of you;
+Lest he to others have recourse, and leave you.
+
+CHREM. And let him go; go where he will; much rather
+Than here by his extravagance reduce
+His father to distress and beggary.
+For if I should continue to supply
+The course of his expenses, Menedemus,
+Your desp'rate rakes would be my lot indeed.
+
+MENE. Ah, to what evils you'll expose yourself,
+Unless you're cautious! You will seem severe,
+And yet forgive him afterward, and then
+With an ill grace too.
+
+CHREM. Ah, you do not know
+How much this grieves me.
+
+MENE. Well, well, take your way.
+But tell me, do you grant me my request
+That this your new-found daughter wed my son?
+Or is there aught more welcome to you?
+
+CHREM. Nothing.
+The son-in-law and the alliance please me.
+
+MENE. What portion shall I tell my son you've settled!
+Why are you silent?
+
+CHREM. Portion!
+
+MENE. Aye, what portion?
+
+CHREM. Ah!
+
+MENE. Fear not, Chremes, though it be but small:
+The portion nothing moves us.
+
+CHREM. I propos'd,
+According to my fortune, that two talents
+Were full sufficient: But you now must say,
+If you'd save me, my fortune, and my son,
+That I have settled all I have upon her.
+
+MENE. What mean you?
+
+CHREM. Counterfeit amazement too,
+And question Clitipho my reason for it.
+
+MENE. Nay, but I really do not know your reason.
+
+CHREM. My reason for it?--That his wanton mind,
+Now flush'd with lux'ry and lasciviousness,
+I may o'erwhelm: and bring him down so low,
+He may not know which way to turn himself.
+
+MENE. What are you at?
+
+CHREM. Allow me! let me have
+My own way in this business.
+
+MENE. I allow you.
+Is it your pleasure?
+
+CHREM. It is.
+
+MENE. Be it so.
+
+CHREM. Come then, let Clinia haste to call the bride.
+And for this son of mine, he shall be school'd,
+As children ought.--But Syrus!
+
+MENE. What of him?
+
+CHREM. What! I'll so handle him, so curry him,
+That while he lives he shall remember me. (_Exit MENEDEMUS._
+What, make a jest of me? a laughing-stock?
+Now, afore Heav'n, he would not dare to treat
+A poor lone widow as he treated me.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    MENE. The very same thing I was thinking of.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    MENE. The very thing that I was thinking of.
+
+    CHREM. What is there more that he can counterfeit?
+  _Harper edition reads "more than he"_
+
+    Fool, fool! But by my life I'll be reveng'd:
+  _the 1896 Harper printing has "I'll he". Everywhere else,
+  the 1859 and 1896 printings appear to be made from the same
+  plates_]
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Re-enter MENEDEMUS, with CLITIPHO and SYRUS._
+
+CLIT. And can it, Menedemus, can it be,
+My father has so suddenly cast off
+All natural affection? for what act?
+What crime, alas! so heinous have I done?
+It is a common failing.
+
+MENE. This I know,
+Should be more heavy and severe to you
+On whom it falls: and yet am I no less
+Affected by it, though I know not why,
+And have no other reason for my grief,
+But that I wish you well.
+
+CLIT. Did not you say
+My father waited here?
+
+MENE. Aye; there he is. (_Exit MENEDEMUS._
+
+CHREM. Why d'ye accuse your father, Clitipho?
+Whate'er I've done, was providently done
+Tow'rd you and your imprudence. When I saw
+Your negligence of soul, and that you held
+The pleasures of to-day your only care,
+Regardless of the morrow; I found means
+That you should neither want, nor waste my substance.
+When you, whom fair succession first made heir,
+Stood self-degraded by unworthiness,
+I went to those the next in blood to you,
+Committing and consigning all to them.
+There shall your weakness, Clitipho, be sure
+Ever to find a refuge; food, and raiment,
+And roof to fly to.
+
+CLIT. Ah me!
+
+CHREM. Better thus,
+Than, you being heir, for Bacchis to have all.
+
+SYRUS. Distraction! what disturbances have I,
+Wretch that I am, all unawares created!
+
+CLIT. Would I were dead!
+
+CHREM. Learn first what 'tis to live.
+When you know that, if life displeases you,
+Then talk of dying.
+
+SYRUS. Master, may I speak?
+
+CHREM. Speak.
+
+SYRUS. But with safety?
+
+CHREM. Speak.
+
+SYRUS. How wrong is this,
+Or rather what extravagance and madness,
+To punish him for my offense!
+
+CHREM. Away!
+Do not you meddle. No one blames you, Syrus!
+Nor need you to provide a sanctuary,
+Or intercessor.
+
+SYRUS. What is it you do?
+
+CHREM. I am not angry, nor with you, nor him:
+Nor should you take offense at what I do.
+  (_Exit CHREMES._
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Manent CLITIPHO, SYRUS._
+
+SYRUS. He's gone. Ah, would I'd ask'd him----
+
+CLIT. Ask'd what, Syrus?
+
+SYRUS. Where I should eat, since he has cast us off.
+You, I perceive, are quarter'd on your sister.
+
+CLIT. Is't come to this, that I should be in fear
+Of starving, Syrus?
+
+SYRUS. So we do but live,
+There's hope----
+
+CLIT. Of what?
+
+SYRUS. That we shall have rare stomachs.
+
+CLIT. D'ye jest at such a time as this;
+And lend me no assistance by your counsel?
+
+SYRUS. Nay, I was studying for you even now.
+And was so all the while your father spoke.
+And far as I can understand this----
+
+CLIT. What?
+
+SYRUS. Stay, you shall have it presently. (_Thinking._)
+
+CLIT. Well, what?
+
+SYRUS. Thus then: I don't believe that you're their son.
+
+CLIT. How Syrus! are you mad?
+
+SYRUS. I'll speak my thoughts.
+Be you the judge. While they had you alone,
+While yet there was no other nearer joy,
+You they indulg'd, and gave with open hand:
+But now a daughter's found, their real child,
+A cause is found to drive you forth.
+
+CLIT. 'Tis like.
+
+SYRUS. Think you this fault so angers him?
+
+CLIT. I think not.
+
+SYRUS. Consider too; 'tis ever found that mothers
+Plead for their sons, and in the father's wrath
+Defend them. 'Tis not so at present.
+
+CLIT. True.
+What shall I do then, Syrus?
+
+SYRUS. Ask of them
+The truth of this suspicion. Speak your thoughts.
+If 'tis not so, you'll speedily incline them
+Both to compassion; or, if so, be told
+Whose son you are.
+
+CLIT. Your counsel's good. I'll do't.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+    _Manent CLITIPHO, SYRUS._
+  _names supplied from 1768 edition_]
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _SYRUS alone._
+
+A lucky thought of mine! for Clitipho:
+The less he hopes, so much more easily
+Will he reduce his father to good terms.
+Besides, who knows but he may take a wife?
+No thanks to Syrus neither.--But who's here?
+Chremes!--I'm off: for seeing what has pass'd,
+I wonder that he did not order me
+To be truss'd up immediately. I'll hence
+To Menedemus, and prevail on him
+To intercede for me: as matters stand,
+I dare not trust to our old gentleman. (_Exit SYRUS._
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _Enter CHREMES, SOSTRATA._
+
+SOSTRA. Nay indeed, husband, if you don't take care,
+You'll bring some kind of mischief on your son:
+I can't imagine how a thought so idle
+Could come into your head.
+
+CHREM. Still, woman, still
+D'ye contradict me? Did I ever wish
+For any thing in all my life, but you
+In that same thing oppos'd me, Sostrata?
+Yet now if I should ask wherein I'm wrong,
+Or wherefore I act thus, you do not know.
+Why then d'ye contradict me, simpleton?
+
+SOSTRA. Not know?
+
+CHREM. Well, well, you know: I grant it, rather
+Than hear your idle story o'er again.
+
+SOSTRA. Ah, 'tis unjust in you to ask my silence
+In such a thing as this.
+
+CHREM. I do not ask it.
+Speak if you will: I'll do it ne'ertheless.
+
+SOSTRA. Will you?
+
+CHREM. I will.
+
+SOSTRA. You don't perceive what harm
+May come of this. He thinks himself a foundling.
+
+CHREM. A foundling, say you?
+
+SOSTRA. Yes indeed, he does.
+
+CHREM. Confess it to be true.
+
+SOSTRA. Ah, Heav'n forbid!
+Let our most bitter enemies do that!
+Shall I disown my son, my own dear child!
+
+CHREM. What! do you fear you can not at your pleasure
+Produce convincing proofs that he's your own?
+
+SOSTRA. Is it because my daughter's found you say this?
+
+CHREM. No: but because, a stronger reason far,
+His manners so resemble yours, you may
+Easily prove him thence to be your son.
+He is quite like you: not a vice, whereof
+He is inheritor, but dwells in you:
+And such a son no mother but yourself
+Could have engender'd.--But he comes.--How grave!
+Look in his face, and you may guess his plight.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    His manners so resemble yours, you may
+    Easily prove him thence to be your son.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    His manners are so very like your own,
+    They are convincing proofs that he's your son]
+
+
+SCENE VII.
+
+  _Enter CLITIPHO._
+
+CLIT. Oh mother, if there ever was a time
+When you took pleasure in me, or delight
+To call me son, beseech you, think of that;
+Pity my present misery, and tell me
+Who are my real parents!
+
+SOSTRA. My dear son,
+Take not, I beg, that notion to your mind,
+That you're an alien to our blood.
+
+CLIT. I am.
+
+SOSTRA. Ah me! and can you then demand me that?
+So may you prosper after both, as you're
+Of both the child! and if you love your mother,
+Take heed henceforward that I never hear
+Such words from you.
+
+CHREM. And if you fear your father,
+See that I never find such vices in you.
+
+CLIT. What vices?
+
+CHREM. What? I'll tell you. Trifler, idler,
+Cheat, drunkard, whoremaster, and prodigal.
+--Think this, and think that you are ours.
+
+SOSTRA. These words
+Suit not a father.
+
+CHREM. No, no, Clitipho,
+Though from my brain you had been born, as Pallas
+Sprang, it is said, from Jupiter, I would not
+Bear the disgrace of your enormities.
+
+SOSTRA. The Gods forbid----
+
+CHREM. I know not for the Gods:
+I will do all that lies in me. You seek
+For parents, which you have: but what is wanting,
+Obedience to your father, and the means
+To keep what he by labor hath acquir'd,
+For that you seek not.--Did you not by tricks
+Ev'n to my presence introduce----I blush
+To speak immodestly before your mother:
+But you by no means blush'd to do't.
+
+CLIT. Alas!
+How hateful am I to myself! how much
+Am I asham'd! so lost, I can not tell
+How to attempt to pacify my father.
+
+
+SCENE VIII.
+
+  _Enter MENEDEMUS._
+
+MENE. Now in good faith our Chremes plagues his son
+Too long and too severely. I come forth
+To reconcile him, and make peace between them.
+And there they are!
+
+CHREM. Ha, Menedemus! wherefore
+Is not my daughter summon'd? and the portion,
+I settled on her; ratified by you?
+
+SOSTRA. Dear husband, I beseech you not to do it!
+
+CLIT. My father, I entreat you pardon me!
+
+MENE. Forgive him, Chremes! let his pray'rs prevail!
+
+CHREM. What! shall I then with open eyes bestow
+My whole estate on Bacchis? I'll not do't.
+
+MENE. We will prevent that. It shall not be so.
+
+CLIT. If you regard my life, forgive me, father!
+
+SOSTRA. Do, my dear Chremes!
+
+MENE. Do, I prithee now!
+Be not obdurate, Chremes!
+
+CHREM. Why is this?
+I see I can't proceed as I've begun.
+
+MENE. 'Tis as it should be now.
+
+CHREM. On this condition,
+That he agrees to do what I think fit.
+
+CLIT. I will do ev'ry thing. Command me, father!
+
+CHREM. Take a wife.
+
+CLIT. Father!
+
+CHREM. Nay, Sir, no denial!
+
+MENE. I take that charge upon me. He shall do't.
+
+CHREM. But I don't hear a word of it from him.
+
+CLIT. Confusion!
+
+SOSTRA. Do you doubt then, Clitipho?
+
+CHREM. Nay, which he pleases.
+
+MENE. He'll obey in all;
+Whate'er you'd have him.
+
+SOSTRA. This at first is grievous,
+While you don't know it; when you know it, easy.
+
+CLIT. I'm all obedience, father!
+
+SOSTRA. Oh my son,
+I'll give you a sweet wife, that you'll adore,
+Phanocrata's, our neighbor's daughter.
+
+CLIT. Her!
+That red-hair'd, blear-eyed, wide-mouth'd, hook-nos'd wench?
+I can not, father.
+
+CHREM. Oh, how nice he is!
+Would any one imagine it?
+
+SOSTRA. I'll get you
+Another then.
+
+CLIT. Well, well; since I must marry,
+I know one pretty near my mind.
+
+SOSTRA. Good boy!
+
+CLIT. The daughter of Archonides, our neighbor.
+
+SOSTRA. Well chosen!
+
+CLIT. One thing, father, still remains.
+
+CHREM. What?
+
+CLIT. That you'd grant poor Syrus a full pardon
+For all that he hath done on my account.
+
+CHREM. Be it so.-- (_To the Audience._) Farewell Sirs, and clap your
+    hands!
+
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+           *       *       *       *
+
+
+THE BROTHERS.
+
+
+PERSONS REPRESENTED.
+
+  PROLOGUE.
+  DEMEA.
+  MICIO.
+  ÆSCHINUS.
+  CTESIPHO.
+  HEGIO.
+  SANNIO.
+  GETA.
+  SYRUS.
+  GETA.
+  DROMO.
+  PARMENO, _other Servants, etc._
+
+  SOSTRATA.
+  CANTHARA.
+  MUSIC-GIRL, _and other Mutes._
+
+SCENE, ATHENS.
+
+
+
+
+PROLOGUE.
+
+  The Bard perceiving his piece cavil'd at
+By partial critics, and his adversaries
+Misrepresenting what we're now to play,
+Pleads his own cause: and you shall be the judges,
+Whether he merits praise or condemnation.
+  The _Synapothnescontes_ is a piece
+By Diphilus, a comedy which Plautus,
+Having translated, call'd COMMORIENTES.
+In the beginning of the Grecian play
+There is a youth, who rends a girl perforce
+From a procurer: and this incident,
+Untouch'd by Plautus, render'd word for word,
+Has our bard interwoven with his _Brothers_;
+The new piece which we represent to-day.
+Say then if this be theft, or honest use
+Of what remain'd unoccupied.--For that
+Which malice tells, that certain noble persons
+Assist the Bard, and write in concert with him;
+That which they deem a heavy slander, He
+Esteems his greatest praise: that he can please
+Those who please you, who all the people please;
+Those who in war, in peace, in counsel, ever
+Have render'd you the dearest services,
+And ever borne their faculties so meekly.
+  Expect not now the story of the play:
+Part the old men, who first appear, will open;
+Part will in act be shown.--Be favorable;
+And let your candor to the poet now
+Increase his future earnestness to write!
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FIRST.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _Enter MICIO._
+
+  Ho, Storax!--Æschinus did not return
+Last night from supper; no, nor any one
+Of all the slaves who went to see for him.
+--'Tis commonly--and oh how truly!--said,
+If you are absent, or delay, 'twere best
+That should befall you, which your wife denounces,
+Or which in anger she calls down upon you,
+Than that which kindest parents fear.--Your wife,
+If you delay, or thinks that you're in love,
+Or lov'd, or drink, or entertain yourself,
+Taking your pleasure, while she pines at home.
+--And what a world of fears possess me now!
+How anxious that my son is not return'd;
+Lest he take cold, or fall, or break a limb!
+--Gods, that a man should suffer any one
+To wind himself so close about his heart,
+As to grow dearer to him than himself!
+And yet he is not my son, but my brother's,
+Whose bent of mind is wholly different.
+I, from youth upward even to this day,
+Have led a quiet and serene town-life;
+And, as some reckon fortunate, ne'er married.
+He, in all points the opposite of this,
+Has pass'd his days entirely in the country
+With thrift and labor; married; had two sons;
+The elder boy is by adoption mine;
+I've brought him up; kept; lov'd him as my own;
+Made him my joy, and all my soul holds dear,
+Striving to make myself as dear to him.
+I give, o'erlook, nor think it requisite
+That all his deeds should be controll'd by me,
+Giving him scope to act as of himself;
+So that the pranks of youth, which other children
+Hide from their fathers, I have us'd my son
+Not to conceal from me. For whosoe'er
+Hath won upon himself to play the false one,
+And practice impositions on a father,
+Will do the same with less remorse to others;
+And 'tis, in my opinion, better far
+To bind your children to you by the ties
+Of gentleness and modesty, than fear.
+And yet my brother don't accord in this,
+Nor do these notions nor this conduct please him.
+Oft he comes open-mouth'd--"Why how now, Micio?
+Why do you ruin this young lad of ours?
+Why does he wench? why drink? and why do you
+Allow him money to afford all this?
+You let him dress too fine. 'Tis idle in you."
+--'Tis hard in him, unjust and out of reason.
+And he, I think, deceives himself indeed,
+Who fancies that authority more firm
+Founded on force, than what is built on friendship;
+For thus I reason, thus persuade myself:
+He who performs his duty driven to't
+By fear of punishment, while he believes
+His actions are observ'd, so long he's wary;
+But if he hopes for secrecy, returns
+To his own ways again: But he whom kindness,
+Him also inclination makes your own:
+He burns to make a due return, and acts,
+Present or absent, evermore the same.
+'Tis this then is the duty of a father,
+To make a son embrace a life of virtue,
+Rather from choice than terror or constraint.
+Here lies the mighty difference between
+A father and a master. He who knows not
+How to do this, let him confess he knows not
+How to rule children.--But is this the man
+Whom I was speaking of? Yes, yes, 'tis he.
+He seems uneasy too, I know not why,
+And I suppose, as usual, comes to wrangle.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _quotation marks at mid-speech supplied from 1768 edition_
+
+  _Harper_
+    [beginning of speech, through line
+    --Gods, that a man ...]
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Ho, Storax!--No reply?--Then Aeschinus
+    Never return'd, it seems, last night from supper;
+    Nor any of the slaves, who went to meet him.
+    --'Tis commonly--and oh how truly!--said,
+    If you are absent, or delay, 'twere best
+    That should befall you, which your wife declares
+    Or which in anger she supposes of you
+    Than that which kindest parents fear.--Your wife,
+    If you delay, suspects that you're engag'd
+    In some intrigue, debauch, or entertainment;
+    Consulting your own happiness abroad,
+    While she, poor soul! is left to pine at home.
+    But what a world of fears possess me now!
+    How many ills I figure to myself,
+    As causes that my son is not return'd!
+    Lest he have taken cold, or had a fall,
+    Or broke a limb!--Good heavens! that a man
+    Shou'd doat so much, or suffer any one]
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter DEMEA._
+
+MICIO. Demea, I'm glad to see you well.
+
+DEMEA. Oho!
+Well met: the very man I came to seek.
+
+MICIO. But you appear uneasy: What's the matter?
+
+DEMEA. Is it a question, when there's Æschinus
+To trouble us, what makes me so uneasy?
+
+MICIO. I said it would be so.--What has he done?
+
+DEMEA. What has he done? a wretch, whom neither ties
+Of shame, nor fear, nor any law can bind!
+For not to speak of all his former pranks,
+What has he been about but even now!
+
+MICIO. What has he done?
+
+DEMEA. Burst open doors, and forc'd
+His way into another's house, and beat
+The master and his family half dead;
+And carried off a wench whom he was fond of.
+The whole town cries out shame upon him, Micio.
+I have been told of it a hundred times
+Since my arrival. 'Tis the common talk.----
+And if we needs must draw comparisons,
+Does not he see his brother thrifty, sober,
+Attentive to his business in the country?
+Not given to these practices; and when
+I say all this to him, to you I say it.
+You are his ruin, Micio.
+
+MICIO. How unjust
+Is he who wants experience! who believes
+Nothing is right but what he does himself!
+
+DEMEA. Why d'ye say that?
+
+MICIO. Because you, Demea,
+Judge wrongly of these matters. 'Tis no crime
+For a young man to wench or drink.--'Tis not,
+Believe me!--nor to force doors open.--This,
+If neither you nor I have done, it was
+That poverty allow'd us not. And now
+You claim a merit to yourself, from that
+Which want constrain'd you to. It is not fair.
+For had there been but wherewithal to do't,
+We likewise should have done thus. Wherefore you,
+Were you a man, would let your younger son,
+Now, while it suits his age, pursue his pleasures;
+Rather than, when it less becomes his years,
+When, after wishing long, he shall at last
+Be rid of you, he should run riot then.
+
+DEMEA. Oh Jupiter! the man will drive me mad.
+Is it no crime, d'ye say, for a young man
+To take these courses?
+
+MICIO. Nay, nay; do but hear me,
+Nor stun me with the self-same thing forever!
+Your elder son you gave me for adoption:
+He's mine, then, Demea; and if he offends,
+'Tis an offense to me, and I must bear
+The burden. Does he treat? or drink? or dress?
+'Tis at my cost.--Or wench? I will supply him,
+While 'tis convenient to me; when 'tis not,
+His mistresses perhaps will shut him out.
+--Has he broke open doors? we'll make them good.
+Or torn a coat? it shall be mended. I,
+Thank Heaven, have enough to do all this,
+And 'tis as yet not irksome.--In a word,
+Or cease, or choose some arbiter between us:
+I'll prove that you are more in fault than I.
+
+DEMEA. Ah, learn to be a father; learn from those
+Who know what 'tis to be indeed a parent!
+
+MICIO. By nature you're his father, I by counsel.
+
+DEMEA. You! do you counsel any thing?
+
+MICIO. Nay, nay;
+If you persist, I'm gone.
+
+DEMEA. Is't thus you treat me?
+
+MICIO. Must I still hear the same thing o'er and o'er?
+
+DEMEA. It touches me.
+
+MICIO. And me it touches too.
+But, Demea, let us each look to our own;
+Let me take care of one, and mind you t'other.
+For to concern yourself with both, appears
+As if you'd redemand the boy you gave.
+
+DEMEA. Ah, Micio!
+
+MICIO. So it seems to me.
+
+DEMEA. Well, well;
+Let him, if 'tis your pleasure, waste, destroy.
+And squander; it is no concern of mine.
+If henceforth I e'er say one word----
+
+MICIO. Again?
+Angry again, good Demea?
+
+DEMEA. You may trust me.
+Do I demand him back again I gave you?
+--It hurts me. I am not a stranger to him.
+--But if I once oppose--Well, well, I've done.
+You wish I should take care of one. I do
+Take special care of him; and he, thank Heav'n,
+Is as I wish he _should_ be: which your ward,
+I warrant, shall find out one time or other.
+I will not say aught worse of him at present. (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    DEMEA. Is it a question, when there's Æschinus
+    To trouble us, what makes me so uneasy?
+    MICIO. I said it would be so.--What has he done?
+    DEMEA. What has he done? a wretch, whom neither ties
+    Of shame, nor fear, nor any law can bind!
+    For not to speak of all his former pranks,
+    What has he been about but even now!
+    MICIO. What has he done?
+    DEMEA. Burst open doors, and forc'd
+    His way into another's house, and beat
+    The master and his family half dead;
+    And carried off a wench whom he was fond of.
+    The whole town cries out shame upon him, Micio.
+    I have been told of it a hundred times
+    Since my arrival. 'Tis the common talk.----
+  _Colman 1768_
+    DEMEA. Uneasy? well I may.--The matter, say you?
+    What can the matter be but Æschinus?
+    MICIO. I said it would be so.--What has he done?
+    DEMEA. What has he done! a wretch whom neither fear,
+    Nor modesty, nor any law can bind!
+    For not to speak of all his former pranks,
+    What has he been about but even now!
+    MICIO. What has he done?
+    DEMEA. Burst open doors, and made
+    His way by force into another's house;
+    Half-kill'd the master and his family,
+    And carried off a wench whom he was fond of.
+    All Athens cries out shame upon him for it.
+    I have been told of it a hundred times
+    Since my arrival. 'Tis the town-talk, Micio.
+
+  _Harper_
+    Judge wrongly of these matters. 'Tis no crime
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Misjudge these matters. 'Tis no heinous crime
+
+  _Harper_
+    Or cease, or choose some arbiter between us
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Have done, or chuse some arbiter between us
+
+  _Harper_
+    MICIO. Must I still hear the same thing o'er and o'er?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    MICIO. Must I be plagued with the same thing so often?]
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _MICIO alone._
+
+Though what he says be not entirely true,
+There's something in it, and it touches me.
+But I dissembled my concern with him,
+Because the nature of the man is such,
+To pacify, I must oppose and thwart him;
+And even thus I scarce can teach him patience.
+But were I to inflame, or aid his anger,
+I were as great a madman as himself.
+Yet Æschinus, 'tis true, has been to blame.
+What wench is there he has not lov'd? to whom
+He has not made some present--And but lately
+(Tir'd, I suppose, and sick of wantonness)
+He told me he propos'd to take a wife.
+I hop'd the heyday of the blood was over,
+And was rejoic'd: but his intemperance
+Breaks out afresh.--Well, be it what it may,
+I'll find him out; and know it instantly,
+If he is to be met with at the Forum. (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    What wench is there he has not lov'd? to whom
+    He has not made some present--And but lately
+  _Colman 1768_
+    What wench is there but he is her gallant?
+    Or tempts her with some gift?--But lately too]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE SECOND.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _Enter ÆSCHINUS, SANNIO, PARMENO, the _Music-Girl_, and a crowd of
+  People._
+
+SAN. Help, help, dear countrymen, for Heaven's sake!
+Assist a miserable, harmless man!
+Help the distress'd!
+
+ÆSCH. (_to the Girl_). Fear nothing: stand just there!
+Why d'ye look back? you're in no danger. Never,
+While I am by, shall he lay hands upon you.
+
+SAN. Aye, but I will, in spite of all the world.
+
+ÆSCH. Rogue as he is, he'll scarce do any thing
+To make me cudgel him again to-day.
+
+SAN. One word, Sir Æschinus! that you may not
+Pretend to ignorance of my profession;
+I'm a procurer.
+
+ÆSCH. True.
+
+SAN. And in my way
+Of as good faith as any man alive.
+Hereafter, to absolve yourself, you'll cry,
+That you repent of having wrong'd me thus.
+I sha'n't care _that_ for your excuse. (_Snapping his fingers._) Be sure
+I'll prosecute my right; nor shall fine words
+Atone for evil deeds. I know your way,
+--"I'm sorry that I did it: and I'll swear
+You are unworthy of this injury"----
+Though all the while I'm us'd most scurvily.
+
+ÆSCH. (_to PAR._) Do you go forward, Parmeno, and throw
+The door wide open.
+
+SAN. That sha'n't signify.
+
+ÆSCH. (_to PARMENO_). Now in with her!
+
+SAN. (_stepping between_). I'll not allow it.
+
+ÆSCH. (_to PARMENO_). Here!
+Come hither, Parmeno!--you're too far off.----
+Stand close to that pimp's side--There--there--just there!
+And now be sure you always keep your eyes
+Steadfastly fix'd on mine; and when I wink,
+To drive your fist directly in his face.
+
+SAN. Aye, if he dare.
+
+ÆSCH. (_to PARMENO_). Now mind!-- (_To SANNIO_). Let go the girl
+    (_SANNIO still struggling with the Girl, ÆSCHINUS winks, and
+    PARMENO strikes SANNIO_).
+
+SAN. Oh monstrous!
+
+ÆSCH. He shall double it, unless
+You mend your manners.
+(_PARMENO strikes SANNIO again._)
+
+SAN. Help, help: murder, murder!
+
+ÆSCH. (_to PARMENO_). I did not wink: but you had better err
+That way than t'other.--Now go in with her.
+    (_PARMENO leads the Girl into MICIO'S house._)
+
+SAN. How's this?--Do you reign king here, Æschinus?
+
+ÆSCH. Did I reign king, you should be recompens'd
+According to your virtues, I assure you.
+
+SAN. What business have you with me?
+
+ÆSCH. None.
+
+SAN. D'ye know
+Who I am, Æschinus?
+
+ÆSCH. Nor want to know.
+
+SAN. Have I touch'd aught of yours, Sir?
+
+ÆSCH. If you had,
+You should have suffer'd for't.
+
+SAN. What greater right
+Have you to take away my slave, for whom
+I paid my money? answer me!
+
+ÆSCH. 'Twere best
+You'd leave off bellowing before our door:
+If you continue to be troublesome,
+I'll have you dragg'd into the house, and there
+Lash'd without mercy.
+
+SAN. How, a freeman lash'd!
+
+ÆSCH. Ev'n so.
+
+SAN. O monstrous tyranny! Is this,
+Is this the liberty they boast of here,
+Common to all?
+
+ÆSCH. If you have brawl'd enough,
+Please to indulge me with one word, you pimp.
+
+SAN. Who has brawl'd most, yourself or I?
+
+ÆSCH. Well, well!
+No more of that, but to the point!
+
+SAN. What point?
+What would you have?
+
+ÆSCH. Will you allow me then
+To speak of what concerns you?
+
+SAN. Willingly:
+Speak, but in justice.
+
+ÆSCH. Very fine! a pimp,
+And talks of justice!
+
+SAN. Well, I am a pimp;
+The common bane of youth, a perjurer,
+A public nuisance, I confess it: yet
+I never did you wrong.
+
+ÆSCH. No, that's to come.
+
+SAN. Prithee return to whence you first set out, Sir!
+
+ÆSCH. You, plague upon you for it! bought the girl
+For twenty minæ; which sum we will give you.
+
+SAN. What if I do not choose to sell the girl?
+Will you oblige me?
+
+ÆSCH. No.
+
+SAN. I fear'd you would.
+
+ÆSCH. She's a free-woman, and should _not_ be sold,
+And, as such, by due course of law I claim her.
+Now then consider which you like the best,
+To take the money, or maintain your action.
+Think on this, Pimp, till I come back again. (_Exit._
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _SANNIO alone._
+
+Oh Jupiter! I do not wonder now
+That men run mad with injuries. He drags me
+Out of my own house; cudgels me most soundly;
+And carries off my slave against my will:
+And after this ill-treatment, he demands
+The Music-Girl to be made over to him
+At the same price I bought her.--He has pour'd
+His blows upon me, thick as hail; for which,
+Since he deserves so nobly at my hands,
+He should no doubt be gratified.--Nay, nay,
+Let me but touch the cash, I'm still content.
+But this I guess will be the case: as soon
+As I shall have agreed to take his price,
+He'll produce witnesses immediately,
+To prove that I have sold her--And the money
+Will be mere moonshine.--"By-and-by."--"To-morrow."
+--Yet I could bear that too, although much wrong,
+Might I but get the money after all:
+For thus it is, friend Sannio; when a man
+Has taken up this trade, he must receive,
+And pocket the affronts of young gallants.
+--But nobody will pay me, and I draw
+Conclusions to no purpose.
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Enter SYRUS._
+
+SYRUS (_to ÆSCH. within_). Say no more!
+Let me alone to talk with him! I warrant
+I'll make him take the money; aye, and own
+That he's well treated too. (_Coming forward._)
+                        Why how now, Sannio?
+What's the dispute I overheard just now
+'Twixt you and my young master?
+
+SAN. Never was
+Any dispute conducted more unfairly,
+Than that between us two to-day! Poor I
+With being drubb'd, and he with drubbing me,
+'Till we were both quite weary.
+
+SYRUS. All your fault.
+
+SAN. What could I do?
+
+SYRUS. Give a young man his way.
+
+SAN. What could I give him more, who gave my face?
+
+SYRUS. Nay, but d'ye know my meaning, Sannio?
+To seem upon occasion to slight money,
+Proves in the end, sometimes, the greatest gain.
+Why prithee, blockhead, could you be afraid,
+Had you abated somewhat of your right,
+And humor'd the young gentleman, he would not
+Have paid you back again with interest?
+
+SAN. I never purchase hope with ready money.
+
+SYRUS. Away! you'll never thrive. You do not know
+How to ensnare men, Sannio.
+
+SAN. Well, perhaps,
+Your way were best: yet I was ne'er so crafty
+But I had rather, when 'twas in my power,
+Receive prompt payment.
+
+SYRUS. Pshaw! I know your spirit:
+As if you valued twenty minæ now,
+So you might do a kindness to my master!
+--Besides, they say you're setting out for Cyprus. (_Carelessly._)
+
+SAN. Ha! (_Alarmed._)
+
+SYRUS. --And have bought up a large stock of goods
+To carry over thither.--Hir'd a vessel.
+That 'tis, I know, which keeps you in suspense:
+When you return, I hope, you'll settle this.
+
+SAN. I shall not budge a foot.--Undone by Heav'n!
+Urg'd by these hopes they've undertaken this. (_Aside._)
+
+SYRUS. He fears. I've thrown a small rub in his way. (_Aside._)
+
+SAN. (_to himself._) Confusion! they have nick'd me to a hair!
+I've bought up sev'ral slaves, and other wares,
+For exportation; and to miss my time
+At Cyprus-fair would be a heavy loss.
+Then if I leave this business broken thus,
+All's over with me; and at my return
+'Twill come to nothing, grown quite cold and stale.
+"--What! come at last?--Why did you stay so long?
+Where have you been?"--that it were better lose it,
+Than wait for it so long, or sue for't then.
+
+SYRUS (_coming up to him._) Well, have you calculated what's your due?
+
+SAN. Monstrous oppression! Is this honorable,
+Or just in Æschinus, to take away
+My property by force?
+
+SYRUS. So, so! he comes. (_Aside._)
+--I have but one word more to say to you.
+See how you like it.--Rather, Sannio,
+Than run the risk to get or lose the whole,
+E'en halve the matter: and he shall contrive
+To scrape together by some means ten minæ.
+
+SAN. Alas, alas! am I in danger then
+Of losing ev'n my very principal?
+Shame on him! he has loosen'd all my teeth:
+My head is swell'd all over like a mushroom:
+And will he cheat me too?--I'm going nowhere.
+
+SYRUS. Just as you please.--Have you aught else to say
+Before I go?
+
+SAN. Yes, one word, prithee Syrus!
+However things have happen'd, rather than
+I should be driven to commence a suit,
+Let him return me my bare due at least;
+The sum she cost me, Syrus.--I'm convinc'd
+You've had no tokens of my friendship yet;
+But you shall find I will not be ungrateful.
+
+SYRUS. I'll do my best. But I see Ctesipho.
+He is rejoic'd about his mistress.
+
+SAN. Say,
+Will you remember me?
+
+SYRUS. Hold, hold a little! (_SYRUS and SANNIO retire._)
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    SYRUS. He fears. I've thrown a small rub in his way.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    SYRUS. He fears. I hinted Cyprus. There's the rub.]
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Enter CTESIPHO at another part of the stage._
+
+CTES. Favors are welcome in the hour of need
+From any hand; but doubly welcome when
+Conferr'd by those from whom we most expect them.
+O brother, brother, how shall I applaud thee?
+Ne'er can I rise to such a height of praise
+But your deservings will outtop me still:
+For in this point I am supremely bless'd,
+That none can boast so excellent a brother,
+So rich in all good qualities, as I.
+
+SYRUS (_coming forward_). O Ctesipho!
+
+CTES. (_turning round_). O Syrus! where's my brother?
+
+SYRUS. At home, where he expects you.
+
+CTES. Ha! (_Joyfully._)
+
+SYRUS. What now!
+
+CTES. What now?--By his assistance I live, Syrus.
+Ah, he's a friend indeed! who disregarding
+All his own interests for my advantage,
+The scandal, infamy, intrigue, and blame,
+All due to me, has drawn upon himself!
+What could exceed it?--But who's there?--The door
+Creaks on the hinges. (_Offering to go off._)
+
+SYRUS. Hold! 'tis Æschinus.
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _Enter ÆSCHINUS._
+
+ÆSCH. Where is that rascal?
+
+SAN. (_behind._) He inquires for me.
+Has he brought out the cash with him?--Confusion!
+I see none.
+
+ÆSCH. (_to CTESIPHO_). Ha! well met: I long'd to see you
+How is it, Ctesipho? All's safe. Away
+With melancholy!
+
+CTES. Melancholy! I
+Be melancholy, who have such a brother?
+Oh my dear Æschinus! thou best of brothers,
+--Ah, I'm asham'd to praise you to your face,
+Lest it appear to come from flattery,
+Rather than gratitude.
+
+ÆSCH. Away, you fool!
+As if we did not know each other, Ctesipho.
+It only grieves me, we so lately knew this,
+When things were almost come to such a pass,
+That all the world, had they desir'd to do it,
+Could not assist you.
+
+CTES. 'Twas my modesty.
+
+ÆSCH. Pshaw! it was folly, and not modesty.
+For such a trifle, almost fly your country?
+Heaven forbid it!--fie, fie, Ctesipho!
+
+CTES. I've been to blame.
+
+ÆSCH. Well, what says Sannio?
+
+SYRUS. He's pacified at last.
+
+ÆSCH. I'll to the Forum,
+And pay him off.--You, Ctesipho, go in
+To the poor girl.
+
+SAN. Now urge the matter, Syrus! (_Apart to SYRUS._)
+
+SYRUS. Let's go; for Sannio wants to be at Cyprus.
+
+SAN. Not in such haste: though truly I have no cause
+To loiter here.
+
+SYRUS. You shall be paid: ne'er fear!
+
+SAN. But all?
+
+SYRUS. Yes, all: so hold your tongue, and follow!
+
+SAN. I will. (_Exit after ÆSCHINUS--SYRUS going._
+
+CTES. Hist! hark ye, Syrus!
+
+SYRUS (_turning back._) Well, what now?
+
+CTES. For Heaven's sake discharge that scurvy fellow
+Immediately; for fear, if further urg'd,
+This tale should reach my father's ears: and then
+I am undone forever.
+
+SYRUS. It sha'n't be.
+Be of good courage! meanwhile, get you in,
+And entertain yourself with her; and order
+The couches to be spread, and all prepar'd.
+For, these preliminaries once dispatch'd,
+I shall march homeward with provisions.
+
+CTES. Do!
+And since this business has turn'd out so well,
+Let's spend the day in mirth and jollity!
+(_Exeunt severally._
+
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    SAN. Not in such haste: though truly I have no cause
+    To loiter here.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    SAN. Not in such haste: though truly I've no cause
+    To loiter here.]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE THIRD.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _SOSTRATA, CANTHARA._
+
+SOS. Prithee, good nurse, how will it go with her?
+
+CAN. How go with her? Why well, I warrant you.
+
+SOS. Her pains begin to come upon her, nurse.
+
+CAN. You're as much frighten'd at your time of day,
+As if you ne'er was present at a labor,
+Or never had been brought to bed yourself.
+
+SOS. Alas, I've no soul here: we're all alone.
+Geta is absent; nor is there a creature
+To fetch a midwife, or call Æschinus.
+
+CAN. He'll be here presently, I promise you:
+For he, good man, ne'er lets a single day
+Go by, but he is sure to visit us.
+
+SOS. He is my only comfort in my sorrows.
+
+CAN. Troth, as the case stands, madam, circumstances
+Could not have happen'd better than they have:
+And since your daughter suffer'd violence,
+'Twas well she met with such a man as this;
+A man of honor, rank, and family.
+
+SOS. He is, indeed, a worthy gentleman:
+The gods preserve him to us!
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter GETA hastily at another part of the stage._
+
+GETA. We are now
+So absolutely lost, that all the world
+Joining in consultation to apply
+Relief to the misfortune that has fallen
+On me, my mistress, and her daughter, all
+Would not avail.--Ah me! so many troubles
+Environ us at once, we sink beneath them.
+Rape, poverty, oppression, solitude,
+And infamy! oh, what an age is this!
+O wicked, oh vile race!--oh impious man!
+
+SOS. (_to CANTHARA_). Ah, why should Geta seem thus terrified
+And agitated?
+
+GETA (_to himself._) Wretch! whom neither honor,
+Nor oaths, nor pity could control or move!
+Nor her approaching labor; her, on whom
+He shamefully committed violation!
+
+SOS. I don't well understand him.
+
+CAN. Prithee then
+Let us draw nearer, Sostrata!
+
+GETA (_to himself._) Alas,
+I'm scarcely in my perfect mind, I burn
+With such fierce anger.--Oh, that I had all
+That villain-family before me now,
+That I might vent my indignation on them,
+While yet it boils within me.--There is nothing
+I'd not endure to be reveng'd on them.
+First I'd tread out the stinking snuff his father,
+Who gave the monster being.--And then, Syrus,
+Who urg'd him to it,--how I'd tear him!--First
+I'd seize him round the waist, and lift him high,
+Then dash his head against the ground, and strew
+The pavement with his brains.--For Æschinus,
+I'd tear his eyes out, and then tumble him,
+Head foremost down some precipice.--The rest
+I'd rush on, drag, crush, trample under foot.
+But why do I delay to tell my mistress
+This heavy news as soon as possible! (_Going._)
+
+SOS. Let's call him back.--Ho, Geta!
+
+GETA. Whosoe'er
+You are, excuse me.
+
+SOS. I am Sostrata.
+
+GETA. Where, where is Sostrata? (_Turns about._) I sought you, Madam;
+Impatiently I sought you: and am glad
+To have encounter'd you thus readily.
+
+SOS. What is the matter? why d'ye tremble thus?
+
+GETA. Alas!
+
+SOS. Take breath!--But why thus mov'd, good Geta?
+
+GETA. We're quite----
+
+SOS. Quite what?
+
+GETA. Undone: We're ruin'd, Madam.
+
+SOS. Explain, for Heaven's sake!
+
+GETA. Ev'n now----
+
+SOS. What now?
+
+GETA. Æschinus----
+
+SOS. What of Æschinus?
+
+GETA. Has quite
+Estrang'd himself from all our family.
+
+SOS. How's that? confusion! why?
+
+GETA. He loves another.
+
+SOS. Wretch that I am!
+
+GETA. Nor that clandestinely;
+But snatch'd her in the face of all the world
+From a procurer.
+
+SOS. Are you sure of this?
+
+GETA. Sure? With these very eyes I saw it, Madam.
+
+SOS. Alas, alas! What then can we believe?
+To whom give credit?--What? our Æschinus!
+Our very life, our sole support and hope!
+Who swore he could not live one day without her,
+And promis'd he would place the new-born babe
+Upon his father's lap, and in that way
+Wring from him his consent to marry her!
+
+GETA. Nay, weep not, mistress; but consider rather
+What course were best to follow: to conceal
+This wrong, or to disclose it to some friend?
+
+CAN. Disclose it! Are you mad? Is this a thing
+To be disclos'd, d'ye think?
+
+GETA. I'd not advise it.
+For first, that he has quite abandon'd us,
+The thing itself declares. If we then make
+The story known, no doubt but he'll deny it.
+Your reputation, and your daughter's life
+Will be endanger'd: or if he confess,
+Since he affects another, 'twere not good
+That he should wed your daughter.--For which reasons,
+Silence is requisite.
+
+SOS. Ah, no: not I.
+
+GETA. What mean you?
+
+SOS. To disclose the whole.
+
+GETA. How, Madam!
+Think what you are about.
+
+SOS. Whatever happens,
+The thing can't be in a worse state than now.
+In the first place my daughter has no portion,
+And that which should have been her second dowry
+Is also lost; and she can ne'er be giv'n
+In marriage as a virgin. For the rest,
+If he denies his former commerce with her,
+I have the ring he lost to vouch the fact.
+In short, since I am conscious to myself.
+That I am not to blame in this proceeding,
+And that no sordid love of gain, nor aught
+Unworthy of my daughter or myself,
+Has mix'd in this affair, I'll try it, Geta.
+
+GETA. Well, I agree, 'twere better to disclose it.
+
+SOS. You then away, as fast as possible,
+And run to Hegio our good friend and kinsman,
+To let him know the whole affair: for he
+Was the chief friend of my dear Simulus,
+And ever show'd a great regard for us.
+
+GETA. And well he does, for no one else cares for us.
+
+SOS. And you, good Canthara, away with haste,
+And call a midwife; that we may be sure
+Of her assistance in the time of need. (_Exeunt severally._
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Enter DEMEA._
+
+DEM. Confusion! I have heard that Ctesipho
+Was present with his brother at this riot.
+This is the sum of all my miseries,
+If he, even he, a sober, hopeful lad,
+May be seduc'd into debaucheries.
+--But where shall I inquire for him? I warrant
+They have decoy'd him into some vile brothel.
+That profligate persuaded him, I'm sure.
+--But here comes Syrus; he can tell me all.
+And yet this slave is of the gang; and if
+He once perceives that I'm inquiring for him,
+He'll never tell me any thing; a rogue!
+I'll not discover my design.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    [end of speech, from line
+    --But here comes Syrus ...]
+  _Colman 1768_
+    --But here comes Syrus.--I shall know from him
+    What is become of Ctesipho.--And yet
+    This rascal's of the gang; and if he once
+    Perceives that I'm enquiring after him,
+    He'll never tell, a villain!--I'll take care
+    To cover my design.]
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Enter SYRUS at another part of the stage._
+
+SYRUS (_to himself_). We've just
+Disclos'd the whole of this affair to Micio,
+Exactly as it happen'd. I ne'er saw
+The good old gentleman more pleas'd.
+
+DEM. Oh Heav'n,
+The folly of the man! (_Listening._)
+
+SYRUS (_to himself_). He prais'd his son;
+Me, who concerted the whole scheme, he thank'd.
+
+DEM. I burst with rage. (_Listening._)
+
+SYRUS (_to himself_). He told the money down
+Immediately, and threw us in beside,
+To make an entertainment, a half-mina:
+Which I've laid out according to my liking.
+
+DEM. So! if you'd have your business well ta'en care of,
+Commit it to this fellow!
+
+SYRUS (_overhearing_). Who's there? Demea!
+I did not see you, Sir. How goes it?
+
+DEM. How?
+I can't sufficiently admire your conduct.
+
+SYRUS (_negligently_). Silly enough, to say the truth, and idle.
+(_To servants within_). Cleanse you the rest of those fish, Dromo: let
+That large eel play a little in the water.
+When I return it shall be bon'd; till then
+It must not be.
+
+DEM. Are crimes like these----
+
+SYRUS (_to DEMEA_). Indeed
+I like them not, and oft cry shame upon them.
+--(_To servants within._) See that those salt fish are well soak'd,
+    Stephanio.
+
+DEM. Gods! is this done on purpose? Does he think
+'Tis laudable to spoil his son? Alas!
+I think I see the day when Æschinus
+Shall fly for want, and list himself a soldier.
+
+SYRUS. O Demea! that is to be wise: to see,
+Not that alone which lies before your feet,
+But ev'n to pry into futurity.
+
+DEM. What! is the Music-Girl at your house?
+
+SYRUS. Aye,
+Madam's within.
+
+DEM. What! and is Æschinus
+To keep her at home with him?
+
+SYRUS. I believe so;
+Such is their madness.
+
+DEM. Is it possible?
+
+SYRUS. A fond and foolish father!
+
+DEM. I'm asham'd
+To own my brother; I'm griev'd for him.
+
+SYRUS. Ah!
+There is a deal of diff'rence, Demea,
+--Nor is't because you're present that I say this----
+There is a mighty difference between you!
+You are, from top to toe, all over wisdom:
+He a mere dotard.--Would you e'er permit
+Your boy to do such things?
+
+DEM. Permit him? I?
+Or should I not much rather smell him out
+Six months before he did but dream of it?
+
+SYRUS. Pshaw! do you boast your vigilance to me?
+
+DEM. Heav'n keep him ever as he is at present!
+
+SYRUS. As fathers form their children, so they prove.
+
+DEM. But now we're speaking of him, have you seen
+The lad to-day? (_With an affected carelessness._)
+
+SYRUS. Your son d'ye mean?--I'll drive him
+Into the country. (_Aside._)--He is hard at work
+Upon your grounds by this time. (_To DEMEA._)
+
+DEM. Are you sure on't?
+
+SYRUS. Sure? I set out with him myself.
+
+DEM. Good! good!
+I was afraid he loiter'd here. (_Aside._)
+
+SYRUS. And much
+Enrag'd, I promise you.
+
+DEM. On what account?
+
+SYRUS. A quarrel with his brother at the Forum,
+About the Music-Girl.
+
+DEM. Indeed?
+
+SYRUS. Aye, faith:
+He did not mince the matter: he spoke out;
+For as the cash was telling down, in pops,
+All unexpected, Master Ctesipho:
+Cries out--"Oh Æschinus, are these your courses?
+Do you commit these crimes? and do you bring
+Such a disgrace upon our family?"
+
+DEM. Oh, oh, I weep for joy.
+
+SYRUS. ----"You squander not
+The money only, but your life, your honor."
+
+DEM. Heav'n bless him; he is like his ancestors. (_Weeping._)
+
+SYRUS. Father's own son, I warrant him.
+
+DEM. Oh, Syrus!
+He's full of all those precepts, he!
+
+SYRUS. No doubt on't:
+He need not go from home for good instruction.
+
+DEM. I spare no pains; neglect no means; I train him.
+--In short, I bid him look into the lives
+Of all, as in a mirror, and thence draw
+From others an example for himself.
+--"Do this."----
+
+SYRUS. Good!
+
+DEM. "Fly that."
+
+SYRUS. Very good!
+
+DEM. "This deed
+Is commendable."
+
+SYRUS. That's the thing!
+
+DEM. "That's reprehensible."
+
+SYRUS. Most excellent!
+
+DEM. "And then moreover----"
+
+SYRUS. Faith, I have not time
+To give you further audience just at present,
+I've got an admirable dish of fish;
+And I must take good care they are not spoil'd.
+For that were an offense as grievous, Demea,
+In us, as 'twere in you to leave undone
+The things you just now mentioned: and I try,
+According to my weak abilities,
+To teach my fellow-slaves the self-same way.
+--"This is too salt.--This is burnt up too much.
+That is not nice and cleanly.--That's well done.
+Mind, and do so again."--I spare no pains,
+And give them the best precepts that I can.
+In short, I bid them look into the dishes,
+As in a mirror, Demea, and thence learn
+The duty of a cook.--This school of ours,
+I own, is idle: but what can you do?
+According to the man must be the lesson.
+--Would you aught else with us?
+
+DEM. Your reformation.
+
+SYRUS. Do you go hence into the country?
+
+DEM. Straight.
+
+SYRUS. For what should you do here, where nobody,
+However good your precepts, cares to mind them? (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    SYRUS. We've just
+    Disclos'd the whole of this affair to Micio,
+  _Colman 1768_
+    SYRUS. We've just disclos'd
+    The whole of this affair to Micio,
+
+  _Harper_
+    DEM. So! if you'd have your business well ta'en care of,
+  _Colman 1768_
+    DEM. So! if you'd have your business well discharg'd
+
+  _Harper_
+    Cleanse you the rest of those fish, Dromo: let
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Here! Hark ye, Dromo! see you gut and scale
+    The other fish immediately: But let
+
+    SYRUS. As fathers form their children, so they prove.
+  _Harper text reads "as fathers from"
+
+  _Harper_
+    DEM. But now we're speaking of him, have you seen
+    The lad to-day?
+    SYRUS. Your son d'ye mean?--I'll drive him
+    Into the country. --He is hard at work
+    Upon your grounds by this time.
+    DEM. Are you sure on't?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    DEM. But, prithee, have you seen the lad to-day?
+    SYRUS. Your son, d'ye mean?--I'll drive him out of town.
+    He's hard at work upon your grounds by this time.
+    DEM. Ay? Are you sure he's gone into the country?]
+
+  _Harper_
+    Do you commit these crimes? and do you bring
+    Such a disgrace upon our family?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    These your persuits? enormities like these?
+    Oh shame! oh scandal to our family!
+
+  _Harper_
+    Is commendable.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Is highly commendable.]
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _DEMEA alone._
+
+I then will hence, since he, on whose account
+I hither came, is gone into the country.
+_He_ is my only care, _He's_ my concern.
+My brother, since he needs will have it so,
+May look to Æschinus himself.----But who
+Is coming yonder? Hegio, of our tribe?
+If I see plainly, beyond doubt 'tis he.
+Ah, we've been old acquaintance quite from boys;
+And such men nowadays are wondrous scarce.
+A citizen of ancient faith and virtue!
+The commonwealth will ne'er reap harm from him.
+How I rejoice to see but the remains
+Of this old stock! Ah, life's a pleasure now.
+I'll wait, that I may ask about his health,
+And have a little conversation with him.
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _Enter HEGIO, GETA conversing at a distance._
+
+HEGIO. Good Heaven! a most unworthy action, Geta!
+
+GETA. Ev'n so.
+
+HEGIO. A deed so base
+Sprung from that family?--Oh Æschinus,
+I'm sure this was not acting like your father.
+
+DEM. (_behind._) So! he has heard about this Music-Girl,
+And is affected at it, though a stranger,
+While his good father truly thinks it nothing.
+Oh monstrous! would that he were somewhere nigh,
+And heard all this!
+
+HEGIO. Unless they do what's just,
+They shall not carry off the matter thus.
+
+GETA. Our only hope is in you, Hegio.
+You're our sole friend, our guardian, and our father,
+The good old Simulus, on his death-bed
+Bequeath'd us to your care. If you desert us,
+We are undone indeed.
+
+HEGIO. Ah, name it not!
+I will not, and with honesty, I can not.
+
+DEM. I'll go up to him.--Save you, Hegio!
+
+HEGIO. The man I look'd for.--Save you, Demea!
+
+DEM. Your pleasure!
+
+HEGIO. Æschinus, your elder son,
+Adopted by your brother, has committed
+A deed unworthy of an honest man,
+And of a gentleman.
+
+DEM. How so?
+
+HEGIO. You knew
+Our friend and good acquaintance, Simulus?
+
+DEM. Aye, sure.
+
+HEGIO. He has debauch'd his daughter.
+
+DEM. How!
+
+HEGIO. Hold, Demea, for the worst is still to come.
+
+DEM. Is there aught worse?
+
+HEGIO. Much worse: for this perhaps
+Might be excus'd. The night, love, wine, and youth,
+Might prompt him. 'Tis the frailty of our nature.
+--Soon as his sense returning made him conscious
+Of his rash outrage, of his own accord
+He came to the girl's mother, weeping, praying.
+Entreating, vowing constancy, and swearing
+That he would take her home.--He was forgiven;
+The thing conceal'd; and his vows credited.
+The girl from that encounter prov'd with child:
+This is the tenth month.--He, good gentleman,
+Has got a music-girl, Heav'n bless the mark!
+With whom he means to live, and quit the other.
+
+DEM. And are you well assur'd of this?
+
+HEGIO. The mother,
+The girl, the fact itself, are all before you,
+Joining to vouch the truth on't. And besides,
+This Geta here--as servants go, no bad one,
+Nor given up to idleness--maintains them;
+The sole support of all the family.
+Here take him, bind him, force the truth from him.
+
+GETA. Aye, torture me, if 'tis not so, good Demea!
+Nay, Æschinus, I'm sure, will not deny it.
+Bring me before him.
+
+DEM. (_aside_). I'm asham'd: and what
+To do, or what to say to him, I know not.
+
+PAMPHILA (_within_). Ah me! I'm torn in pieces!--Racking pains!
+Juno Lucina, help me! save, I pray thee!
+
+HEGIO. Ha! Is she then in labor, Geta?
+
+GETA. Yes, Sir.
+
+HEGIO. Hark! she now calls upon your justice, Demea!
+Grant her then freely, what law else will claim.
+And Heaven send, that you may rather do
+What honor bids! but if you mean it not,
+Be sure of this; that with my utmost force
+I'll vindicate the girl, and her dead father;
+He was my kinsman; we were bred together
+From children; and our fortunes twin'd together
+In war, and peace, and bitter poverty.
+Wherefore I'll try, endeavor, strive, nay lose
+My life itself, before I will forsake them.
+--What is your answer?
+
+DEM. I'll find out my brother:
+What he advises, I will follow, Hegio.
+
+HEGIO. But still remember, Demea, that the more
+You live at ease; the more your pow'r, your wealth,
+Your riches, and nobility; the more
+It is your duty to act honorably,
+If you regard the name of honest men.
+
+DEM. Go to: we'll do you justice.
+
+HEGIO. 'Twill become you.
+Geta, conduct me in to Sostrata. (_Exit with GETA._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    HEGIO. Good Heaven! a most unworthy action, Geta!
+    GETA. Ev'n so.
+    HEGIO. A deed so base
+    Sprung from that family?--Oh Æschinus,
+    I'm sure this was not acting like your father.
+    DEM. So! he has heard about this Music-Girl,
+  _Colman 1768_
+    HEGIO. Can it be true?
+    GETA. Ev'n so.
+    HEGIO. A deed so base
+    Sprung from that family?--Oh Æschinus,
+    This was not acting like your father.
+    DEM. So!
+    He has just heard about this Musick-Girl,
+
+  _Harper_
+    HEGIO. Unless they do what's just
+  _Colman 1768_
+    HEGIO. Unless they do you justice
+
+  _Harper_
+    The good old Simulus, on his death-bed
+  _Colman 1768_
+    On his death-bed, the good old Simulus
+
+  _Harper_
+    HEGIO. Æschinus, your elder son,
+    Adopted by your brother, has committed
+  _Colman 1768_
+    HEGIO. Æschinus, your elder son,
+    Your brother's by adoption, has committed
+
+    HEGIO. Ha! Is she then in labor, _Geta_?
+  _"Geta" italicized in Harper edition_]
+
+
+SCENE VII.
+
+  _DEMEA alone._
+
+This is no more than I foretold: and well
+If his intemp'rance would stop _here!_--But this
+Immoderate indulgence must produce
+Some terrible misfortune in the end.
+--I'll hence, find out my brother, tell my news,
+And empty all my indignation on him. (_Exit._
+
+
+SCENE VIII.
+
+  _Re-enter HEGIO, speaking to SOSTRATA at the door._
+
+Be of good cheer, my Sostrata; and comfort,
+As much as in your pow'r, poor Pamphila!
+I'll find out Micio, if he's at the Forum,
+And tell him the whole story: if he'll act
+With honor in it, why 'tis well; if not,
+Let him but speak his mind to me, and then
+I shall know how to act accordingly. (_Exit._
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FOURTH.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _CTESIPHO, SYRUS._
+
+CTES. My father gone into the country, say you?
+
+SYRUS. Long since.
+
+CTES. Nay; speak the truth!
+
+SYRUS. He's at his farm,
+And hard at work, I warrant you.
+
+CTES. I wish,
+So that his health were not the worse for it,
+He might so heartily fatigue himself,
+As to be forc'd to keep his bed these three days!
+
+SYRUS. I wish so too; and more, if possible.
+
+CTES. With all my heart: for I would fain consume,
+As I've begun, the livelong day in pleasure.
+Nor do I hate that farm of ours so much
+For any thing, as that it is so near.
+For if 'twas at a greater distance, night
+Would come upon him ere he could return.
+But now, not finding me, I'm very sure
+He'll hobble back again immediately;
+Question me where I've been, that I've not seen him
+All the day long; and what shall I reply?
+
+SYRUS. What? can you think of nothing?
+
+CTES. No, not I.
+
+SYRUS. So much the worse.--Have you no client, friend,
+Or guest?
+
+CTES. I have. What then?
+
+SYRUS. You've been engag'd
+With them.
+
+CTES. When not engag'd? It can not be.
+
+SYRUS. It may.
+
+CTES. Aye, marry, for the day I grant you.
+But if I pass the night here, what excuse
+Then, Syrus?
+
+SYRUS. Ah! I would it were the custom
+To be engag'd at night too with one's friends!
+--But be at ease! I know his mind so well,
+That when he raves the loudest, I can make him
+As gentle as a lamb.
+
+CTES. How so?
+
+SYRUS. He loves
+To hear you prais'd. I sing your praises to him,
+And make you out a little God.
+
+CTES. Me!
+
+SYRUS. You.
+And then the old man blubbers like a child,
+For very joy.--But have a care! (_Looking out._)
+
+CTES. What now?
+
+SYRUS. The wolf i' th' fable!
+
+CTES. What, my father?
+
+SYRUS. He.
+
+CTES. What's the best, Syrus?
+
+SYRUS. In! fly! I'll take care.
+
+CTES. You have not seen me, if he asks: d'ye hear?
+
+SYRUS. Can't you be quiet? (_Pushes out CTESIPHO._)
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter DEMEA at another part of the stage._
+
+DEM. Verily I am
+A most unhappy man! for first of all,
+I can not find my brother any where:
+And then besides, in looking after him,
+I chanc'd on one of my day laborers,
+Who had but newly left my farm, and told me
+Ctesipho was not there. What shall I do?
+
+  {_CTESIPHO and SYRUS apart._}
+
+CTES. (_peeping out._) Syrus?
+
+SYRUS. What?
+
+CTES. Does he seek me?
+
+SYRUS. Yes.
+
+CTES. Undone!
+
+SYRUS. Courage!
+
+DEM. (_to himself_). Plague on it, what ill luck is this?
+I can't account for it: but I believe
+That I was born for nothing but misfortunes.
+I am the first who feels our woes; the first
+Who knows of them; the first who tells the news:
+And come what may, I bear the weight alone.
+
+SYRUS (_behind_). Ridiculous! he says he knows all first;
+And he alone is ignorant of all.
+
+DEM. I'm now return'd to see if Micio
+Be yet come home again.
+
+  {_CTESIPHO and SYRUS apart._}
+
+CTES. (_peeping out_). Take care, good Syrus,
+He don't rush in upon us unawares!
+
+SYRUS. Peace! I'll take care.
+
+CTES. 'Faith, I'll not trust to you,
+But shut myself and her in some by-place
+Together: that's the safest.
+
+SYRUS. Well, away! (_CTESIPHO disappears._)
+I'll drive the old man hence, I warrant you.
+
+DEM. (_seeing SYRUS_). But see that rascal Syrus coming hither!
+
+SYRUS (_advancing hastily, and pretending not to see DEMEA_).
+By Hercules, there is no living here,
+For any one, at this rate.--I'd fain know
+How many masters I'm to have.--Oh monstrous!
+
+DEM. What does he howl for? what's the meaning on't?
+Hark ye, my good Sir! prithee tell me if
+My brother be at home.
+
+SYRUS. _My good Sir!_ Plague!
+Why do you come with your _good Sirs_ to me?
+I'm half-kill'd.
+
+DEM. What's the matter?
+
+SYRUS. What's the matter!
+Ctesipho, vengeance on him, fell upon me,
+And cudgel'd me and the poor Music-Girl
+Almost to death.
+
+DEM. Indeed?
+
+SYRUS. Indeed. Nay see
+How he has cut my lip. (_Pretending to show it._)
+
+DEM. On what account?
+
+SYRUS. The girl, he says, was bought by my advice.
+
+DEM. Did not you say you saw him out of town
+A little while ago?
+
+SYRUS. And so I did.
+But he came back soon after, like a madman.
+He had no mercy.--Was not he asham'd
+To beat a poor old fellow? to beat me;
+Who bore him in my arms but t'other day,
+An urchin thus high? (_Showing._)
+
+DEM. Oh rare, Ctesipho!
+Father's own son! a man, I warrant him.
+
+SYRUS. Oh rare, d'ye cry? I' faith, if he is wise,
+He'll hold his hands another time.
+
+DEM. Oh brave!
+
+SYRUS. Oh mighty brave, indeed!--Because he beat
+A helpless girl, and me a wretched slave,
+Who durst not strike again;--oh, to be sure,
+Mighty brave, truly!
+
+DEM. Oh, most exquisite!
+My Ctesipho perceived, as well as I,
+That you was the contriver of this business.
+--But is my brother here?
+
+SYRUS. Not he. (_Sulkily._)
+
+DEM. I'm thinking
+Where I shall seek him.
+
+SYRUS. I know where he is:
+But I'll not tell.
+
+DEM. How, Sirrah?
+
+SYRUS. Even so.
+
+DEM. I'll break your head.
+
+SYRUS. I can not tell the name
+Of him he's gone to, but I know the place.
+
+DEM. Well, where's the place?
+
+SYRUS. D'ye know the Portico
+Just by the market, down this way? (_Pointing._)
+
+DEM. I do.
+
+SYRUS. Go up that street; keep straight along: and then
+You'll see a hill; go straight down that: and then
+On this hand, there's a chapel; and just by
+A narrow lane. (_Pointing._)
+
+DEM. Where? (_Looking._)
+
+SYRUS. There; by the great wild fig-tree.
+D'ye know it, Sir?
+
+DEM. I do.
+
+SYRUS. Go through that lane.
+
+DEM. That lane's no thoroughfare.
+
+SYRUS. Aye, very true:
+No more it is, Sir.--What a fool I am!
+I was mistaken--You must go quite back
+Into the portico; and after all,
+This is the nearest and the safest way.
+--D'ye know Cratinus' house? the rich man?
+
+DEM. Aye.
+
+SYRUS. When you've pass'd that, turn short upon the left.
+Keep straight along that street, and when you reach
+Diana's Temple, turn upon the right.
+And then, on this side of the city gate,
+Just by the pond, there is a baker's shop,
+And opposite a joiner's.--There he is.
+
+DEM. What business has he there?
+
+SYRUS. He has bespoke
+Some tables to be made with oaken legs
+To stand the sun.
+
+DEM. For you to drink upon.
+Oh brave! But I lose time. I'll after him.
+                        (_Exit hastily._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    SYRUS. Go up that street; keep straight along: and then
+  _Colman 1768_
+    SYRUS. Go straight along that street: and at the end]
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _SYRUS alone._
+
+Aye, go your ways! I'll work your old shrunk shanks
+As you deserve, old Drybones!--Æschinus
+Loiters intolerably. Dinner's spoil'd.
+Ctesipho thinks of nothing but his girl.
+'Tis time for me to look to myself too.
+Faith, then I'll in immediately; pick out
+All the tid-bits, and tossing off my cups,
+In lazy leisure lengthen out the day. (_Exit._
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Enter MICIO and HEGIO._
+
+MICIO. I can see nothing in this matter, Hegio,
+Wherein I merit so much commendation.
+'Tis but my duty, to redress the wrongs
+That we have caus'd: unless perhaps you took me
+For one of those who, having injur'd you,
+Term fair expostulation an affront;
+And having first offended, are the first
+To turn accusers.--I've not acted thus:
+And is't for this that I am thank'd?
+
+HEGIO. Ah, no;
+I never thought you other than you are.
+But let me beg you, Micio, go with me
+To the young woman's mother, and repeat
+Yourself to her what you have just told me:
+--That the suspicion, fall'n on Æschinus,
+Sprung from his brother and the Music-Girl.
+
+MICIO. If you believe I ought, or think it needful,
+Let's go!
+
+HEGIO. 'Tis very kind in you: for thus
+You'll raise her spirit drooping with the load
+Of grief and misery, and have perform'd
+Ev'ry good office of benevolence.
+But if you like it not, I'll go myself,
+And tell her the whole story.
+
+MICIO. No, I'll go.
+
+HEGIO. 'Tis good and tender in your nature, Micio.
+For they, whose fortunes are less prosperous,
+Are all I know not how, the more suspicious;
+And think themselves neglected and contemn'd,
+Because of their distress and poverty.
+Wherefore I think 'twould satisfy them more
+If you would clear up this affair yourself.
+
+MICIO. What you have said is just, and very true.
+
+HEGIO. Let me conduct you in!
+
+MICIO. With all my heart. (_Exeunt._
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _ÆSCHINUS alone._
+
+Oh torture to my mind! that this misfortune
+Should come thus unexpectedly upon me!
+I know not what to do, which way to turn.
+Fear shakes my limbs, amazement fills my soul,
+And in my breast despair shuts out all counsel.
+Ah, by what means can I acquit myself?
+Such a suspicion is now fallen on me;
+And that too grounded on appearances.
+Sostrata thinks that on my own account
+I bought the Music-Girl. That's plain enough
+From the old nurse. For meeting her by chance,
+As she was sent from hence to call a midwife,
+I ran, and ask'd her of my Pamphila.
+--"Is she in labor? are you going now
+To call a midwife?"--"Go, go, Æschinus!
+Away, you have deceiv'd us long enough,
+Fool'd us enough with your fine promises,"
+Cried she.--"What now?" says I.--"Farewell, enjoy
+The girl that you're so taken with!"--I saw
+Immediately their cause of jealousy:
+Yet I contain'd myself, nor would disclose
+My brother's business to a tattling gossip,
+By whom the knowledge on't might be betray'd.
+--But what shall I do now? shall I confess
+The girl to be my brother's; an affair
+Which should by no means be reveal'd?--But not
+To dwell on that.--Perhaps they'd not disclose it.
+Nay, I much doubt if they would credit it:
+So many proofs concur against myself.----
+I bore her off: I paid the money down;
+She was brought home to me.--All this, I own,
+Is my own fault. For should I not have told
+My father, be it as it might, the whole?
+I should, I doubt not, have obtain'd his leave
+To marry Pamphila.--What indolence,
+Ev'n, till this hour! now, Æschinus, awake!
+--But first I'll go and clear myself to them.
+I'll to the door. (_Goes up._) Confusion! how I tremble!
+How guilty like I seem when I approach
+This house! (_Knocks._) Holloa! within! 'Tis I;
+'Tis Æschinus. Come, open somebody
+The door immediately!--Who's here? A stranger!
+I'll step aside. (_Retires._)
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _Enter MICIO._
+
+MICIO (_to SOSTRATA, within_). Do as I have told you, Sostrata.
+I'll find out Æschinus, and tell him all.
+--But who knock'd at the door? (_Coming forward._)
+
+ÆSCH. (_behind_). By Heav'n, my father!
+Confusion!
+
+MICIO (_seeing him_). Æschinus!
+
+ÆSCH. What does he here? (_Aside._)
+
+MICIO. Was't you that knock'd? What, not a word! Suppose
+I banter him a little. He deserves it,
+For never trusting this affair to me. (_Aside._)
+--Why don't you speak?
+
+ÆSCH. Not I, as I remember. (_Disordered._)
+
+MICIO. No, I dare say, not you: for I was wond'ring
+What business could have brought you here.--He blushes.
+All's safe, I find. (_Aside._)
+
+ÆSCH. (_recovering._) But prithee, tell me, Sir,
+What brought you here?
+
+MICIO. No business of my own.
+But a friend drew me hither from the Forum,
+To be his advocate.
+
+ÆSCH. In what?
+
+MICIO. I'll tell you.
+This house is tenanted by some poor women,
+Whom, I believe, you know not;--Nay, I'm sure on't,
+For 'twas but lately they came over hither.
+
+ÆSCH. Well?
+
+MICIO. A young woman and her mother.
+
+ÆSCH. Well?
+
+MICIO. The father's dead.--This friend of mine, it seems,
+Being her next relation, by the law
+Is forc'd to marry her.
+
+ÆSCH. Confusion! (_Aside._)
+
+MICIO. How?
+
+ÆSCH. Nothing.--Well?--pray go on, Sir!----
+
+MICIO. He's now come
+To take her home, for he is of Miletus.
+
+ÆSCH. How! take her home with him?
+
+MICIO. Yes, take her home.
+
+ÆSCH. What, to Miletus?
+
+MICIO. Aye.
+
+ÆSCH. Oh torture! (_Aside._)-- Well?
+What say the women?
+
+MICIO. Why, what should they? Nothing.
+Indeed the mother has devis'd a tale
+About her daughter's having had a child
+By some one else, but never mentions whom:
+His claim, she says, is prior; and my friend
+Ought not to have her.
+
+ÆSCH. Well? and did not this
+Seem a sufficient reason?
+
+MICIO. No.
+
+ÆSCH. No, Sir?
+And shall this next relation take her off?
+
+MICIO. Aye, to be sure: why not?
+
+ÆSCH. Oh barbarous, cruel!
+And to speak plainly, Sir--ungenerous!
+
+MICIO. Why so?
+
+ÆSCH. Why so, Sir?--What d'ye think
+Will come of him, the poor unhappy youth
+Who was connected with her first--who still
+Loves her, perhaps, as dearly as his life;----
+When he shall see her torn out of his arms,
+And borne away forever?--Oh shame, shame!
+
+MICIO. Where is the shame on't?--Who betroth'd, who gave her?
+When was she married? and to whom? Where is he,
+And wherefore did he wed another's right?
+
+ÆSCH. Was it for her, a girl of such an age,
+To sit at home, expecting till a kinsman
+Came, nobody knows whence, to marry her?
+--This, Sir, it was your business to have said,
+And to have dwelt on it.
+
+MICIO. Ridiculous!
+Should I have pleaded against him to whom
+I came an advocate?--But after all,
+What's this affair to us? or, what have we
+To do with them? let's go!--Ha! why those tears?
+
+ÆSCH. Father, beseech you, hear me!
+
+MICIO. Æschinus,
+I have heard all, and I know all, already:
+For I do love you; wherefore all your actions
+Touch me the more.
+
+ÆSCH. So may you ever love me,
+And so may I deserve your love, my father,
+As I am sorry to have done this fault,
+And am asham'd to see you!
+
+MICIO. I believe it;
+For well I know you have a liberal mind:
+But I'm afraid you are too negligent,
+For in what city do you think you live?
+You have abus'd a virgin, whom the law
+Forbade your touching.--'Twas a fault, a great one;
+But yet a natural failing. Many others,
+Some not bad men, have often done the same.
+--But after this event, can you pretend
+You took the least precaution? or consider'd
+What should be done, or how?--If shame forbade
+Your telling me yourself, you should have found
+Some other means to let me know of it.
+Lost in these doubts, ten months have slipp'd away.
+You have betray'd, as far as in you lay,
+Yourself, the poor young woman, and your child.
+What! did you think the Gods would bring about
+This business in your sleep; and that your wife,
+Without your stir, would be convey'd to you
+Into your bed-chamber?--I would not have you
+Thus negligent in other matters.--Come,
+Cheer up, son! you shall wed her.
+
+ÆSCH. How!
+
+MICIO. Cheer up,
+I say!
+
+ÆSCH. Nay, prithee, do not mock me, father!
+
+MICIO. Mock you? I? wherefore?
+
+ÆSCH. I don't know; unless
+That I so much desire it may be true,
+I therefore fear it more.
+
+MICIO. --Away; go home;
+And pray the Gods, that you may call your wife
+Away!
+
+ÆSCH. How's that? my wife? what! now?
+
+MICIO. Now.
+
+ÆSCH. Now?
+
+MICIO. Ev'n now, as soon as possible.
+
+ÆSCH. May all
+The Gods desert me, Sir, but I do love you,
+More than my eyes!
+
+MICIO. Than her?
+
+ÆSCH. As well.
+
+MICIO. That's much.
+
+ÆSCH. But where is that Milesian?
+
+MICIO. Gone:
+Vanish'd: on board the ship.--But why d'ye loiter?
+
+ÆSCH. Ah, Sir, you rather go, and pray the Gods;
+For, being a much better man than I,
+They will the sooner hear your pray'rs.
+
+MICIO. I'll in,
+To see the needful preparations made.
+You, if you're wise, do as I said. (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+    More than my eyes!
+  _Harper edition has question mark_
+
+
+SCENE VII.
+
+  _ÆSCHINUS alone._
+
+How's this?
+Is this to be a father? Or is this
+To be a son?--Were he my friend or brother,
+Could he be more complacent to my wish?
+Should I not love him? bear him in my bosom!
+Ah! his great kindness has so wrought upon me,
+That it shall be the study of my life
+To shun all follies, lest they give him pain.
+--But I'll in straight, that I may not retard
+My marriage by my own delay. (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    --But I'll in straight, that I may not retard
+    My marriage by my own delay.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    But wherefore do I loiter here, and thus
+    Retard my marriage by my own delay?
+
+
+SCENE VIII.
+
+  _DEMEA alone._
+
+I'm tir'd
+With walking.--Now great Jove confound you, Syrus;
+You and your blind directions! I have crawl'd
+All the town over: to the gate; the pond;
+Where not? No sign of any shop was there,
+Nor any person who had seen my brother.
+--Now I'll in, therefore, and set up my rest
+In his own house, till he comes home again. (_Going._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    I'm tir'd
+    With walking.--Now great Jove confound you, Syrus;
+  _Colman 1768_
+    I've walk'd, and walk'd, till I'm quite tir'd with walking.
+    --Almighty Jove confound you, Syrus, I say;]
+
+
+SCENE IX.
+
+  _Enter MICIO._
+
+MICIO. I'll go and let the women know we're ready.
+
+DEM. But here he is.--I have long sought you, Micio.
+
+MICIO. What now?
+
+DEM. I bring you more offenses: great ones;
+Of that sweet youth----
+
+MICIO. See there!
+
+DEM. New; capital!
+
+MICIO. Nay, nay, no more!
+
+DEM. Ah, you don't know----
+
+MICIO. I do.
+
+DEM. O fool, you think I mean the Music-Girl.
+This is a rape upon a citizen.
+
+MICIO. I know it.
+
+DEM. How? d'ye know it, and endure it?
+
+MICIO. Why not endure it?
+
+DEM. Tell me, don't you rave?
+Don't you go mad?
+
+MICIO. No: to be sure I'd rather----
+
+DEM. There's a child born.
+
+MICIO. Heav'n bless it!
+
+DEM. And the girl
+Has nothing.
+
+MICIO. I have heard so.
+
+DEM. And is he
+To marry her without a fortune?
+
+MICIO. Aye.
+
+DEM. What's to be done then?
+
+MICIO. What the case requires.
+The girl shall be brought over here.
+
+DEM. Oh Jove!
+Can that be proper?
+
+MICIO. What can I do else?
+
+DEM. What can you do!--If you're not really griev'd,
+It were at least your duty to appear so.
+
+MICIO. I have contracted the young woman to him:
+The thing is settled: 'tis their wedding-day:
+And all their apprehensions I've remov'd.
+This is still more my duty.
+
+DEM. Are you pleas'd then
+With this adventure, Micio?
+
+MICIO. Not at all,
+If I could help it: now 'tis past all cure,
+I bear it patiently. The life of man
+Is like a game at tables. If the cast
+Which is most necessary be not thrown,
+That which chance sends you must correct by art.
+
+DEM. Oh rare _Corrector!_--By your _art_ no less
+Than twenty minæ have been thrown away
+On yonder Music-wench; who out of hand,
+Must be sent packing; if no buyer, gratis.
+
+MICIO. Not in the least; nor do I mean to sell her.
+
+DEM. What will you do, then?
+
+MICIO. Keep her in my house.
+
+DEM. Oh Heav'n and earth! a harlot and a wife
+In the same house!
+
+MICIO. Why not?
+
+DEM. Have you your wits?
+
+MICIO. Truly I think so.
+
+DEM. Now, so help me Heav'n,
+Seeing your folly, I believe you keep her
+To sing with you.
+
+MICIO. Why not?
+
+DEM. And the young bride
+Shall be her pupil?
+
+MICIO. To be sure.
+
+DEM. And you
+Dance hand in hand with them?
+
+MICIO. Aye.
+
+DEM. Aye?
+
+MICIO. And you
+Make one among us too upon occasion.
+
+DEM. Ah! are you not asham'd on't?
+
+MICIO. Patience, Demea!
+Lay by your wrath, and seem, as it becomes you,
+Cheerful and free of heart at your son's wedding.
+--I'll but speak with the bride and Sostrata,
+And then return to you immediately. (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    --I'll but speak with the bride and Sostrata
+  _Colman 1768_
+    --I'll go and warn the bride and Sostrata]
+
+
+SCENE X.
+
+  _DEMEA alone._
+
+Jove, what a life! what manners! what distraction!
+A bride just coming home without a portion;
+A Music-Girl already there in keeping:
+A house of waste; the youth a libertine;
+Th' old man a dotard!--'Tis not in the pow'r
+Of Providence herself, howe'er desirous,
+To save from ruin such a family.
+
+
+SCENE XI.
+
+  _Enter at a distance SYRUS, drunk._
+
+SYRUS. (_to himself_). Faith, little Syrus, you've ta'en special care
+Of your sweet self, and play'd your part most rarely.
+--Well, go your ways:--but having had my fill
+Of ev'ry thing within, I've now march'd forth
+To take a turn or two abroad.
+
+DEM. (_behind_). Look there!
+A pattern of instruction!
+
+SYRUS. (_seeing him_). But see there:
+Yonder's old Demea. (_Going up to him._) What's the matter now?
+And why so melancholy?
+
+DEM. Oh thou villain!
+
+SYRUS. What! are you spouting sentences, old wisdom?
+
+DEM. Were you my servant----
+
+SYRUS. You'd be plaguy rich,
+And settle your affairs most wonderfully.
+
+DEM. I'd make you an example.
+
+SYRUS. Why? for what?
+
+DEM. Why, Sirrah?--In the midst of the disturbance,
+And in the heat of a most heavy crime,
+While all is yet confusion, you've got drunk,
+As if for joy, you rascal!
+
+SYRUS. Why the plague
+Did not I keep within? (_Aside._)
+
+
+SCENE XII.
+
+  _Enter DROMO, hastily._
+
+DROMO. Here! hark ye, Syrus!
+Ctesipho begs that you'd come back.
+
+SYRUS. Away! (_Pushes him off._)
+
+DEM. What's this he says of Ctesipho?
+
+SYRUS. Pshaw! nothing.
+
+DEM. How! dog, is Ctesipho within?
+
+SYRUS. Not he.
+
+DEM. Why does he name him then?
+
+SYRUS. It is another.
+Of the same name--a little parasite----
+D'ye know him?
+
+DEM. But I will immediately. (_Going._)
+
+SYRUS. (_stopping him_). What now? where now?
+
+  {_DEMEA and SYRUS struggling._}
+
+DEM. Let me alone.
+
+SYRUS. Don't go!
+
+DEM. Hands off! what won't you? must I brain you, rascal?
+    (_Disengages himself from SYRUS, and Exit._
+
+
+SCENE XIII.
+
+  _SYRUS alone._
+
+He's gone--gone in--and faith no welcome roarer----
+--Especially to Ctesipho.--But what
+Can I do now; unless, till this blows over,
+I sneak into some corner, and sleep off
+This wine that lies upon my head?--I'll do't.
+                                  (_Exit reeling._
+
+
+SCENE XIV.
+
+  _Enter MICIO from SOSTRATA._
+
+MICIO. (_to SOSTRATA within_).
+All is prepar'd: and we are ready, Sostrata,
+As I have already told you, when you please. (_Comes forward._)
+But who's this forces open our street door
+With so much violence?
+
+_Enter DEMEA on t'other side._
+
+DEM. Confusion! death!
+What shall I do? or how resolve? where vent
+My cries and exclamations? Heav'n! Earth! Sea!
+
+MICIO (_behind._) So! all's discover'd: that's the thing he raves at.
+--Now for a quarrel!--I must help the boy.
+
+DEM. (_seeing him._) Oh, there's the grand corrupter of our children!
+
+MICIO. Appease your wrath, and be yourself again!
+
+DEM. Well, I've appeas'd it; I'm myself again;
+I spare reproaches; let us to the point!
+It was agreed between us, and it was
+Your own proposal too, that you should never
+Concern yourself with Ctesipho, nor I
+With Æschinus. Say, was't not so?
+
+MICIO. It was.
+I don't deny it.
+
+DEM. Why does Ctesipho
+Revel with you then? Why do you receive him?
+Buy him a mistress, Micio?--Is not justice
+My due from you, as well as yours from me?
+Since I do not concern myself with yours,
+Meddle not you with mine!
+
+MICIO. This is not fair;
+Indeed it is not. Think on the old saying,
+"All things are common among friends."
+
+DEM. How smart!
+Put off with quips and sentences at last!
+
+MICIO. Nay, hear me, if you can have patience, Demea.
+--First, if you're griev'd at their extravagance,
+Let this reflection calm you! Formerly,
+You bred them both according to your fortune,
+Supposing it sufficient for them both:
+Then too you thought that I should take a wife.
+Still follow the old rule you then laid down:
+Hoard, scrape, and save; do ev'ry thing you can
+To leave them nobly! Be that glory yours.
+My fortune, fall'n beyond their hopes upon them,
+Let them use freely! As your capital
+Will not be wasted, what addition comes
+From mine, consider as clear gain: and thus,
+Weighing all this impartially, you'll spare
+Yourself, and me, and them, a world of trouble.
+
+DEM. Money is not the thing: their morals----
+
+MICIO. Hold!
+I understand; and meant to speak of that.
+There are in nature sundry marks, good Demea,
+By which you may conjecture easily,
+That when two persons do the self-same thing,
+It oftentimes falls out that in the one
+'Tis criminal, in t'other 'tis not so:
+Not that the thing itself is different,
+But he who does it.--In these youths I see
+The marks of virtue; and, I trust, they'll prove
+Such as we wish them. They have sense, I know;
+Attention; in its season, liberal shame;
+And fondness for each other; all sure signs
+Of an ingenuous mind and noble nature:
+And though they stray, you may at any time
+Reclaim them.--But perhaps you fear they'll prove
+Too inattentive to their interest.
+Oh my dear Demea, in all matters else
+Increase of years increases wisdom in us:
+This only vice age brings along with it;
+"We're all more worldly-minded than there's need:"
+Which passion age, that kills all passions else,
+Will ripen in your sons too.
+
+DEM. Have a care
+That these fine arguments and this great mildness
+Don't prove the ruin of us, Micio.
+
+MICIO. Peace!
+It shall not be: away with all your fears!
+This day be rul'd by me: come, smooth your brow.
+
+DEM. Well, since at present things are so, I must,
+But then I'll to the country with my son
+To-morrow, at first peep of day.
+
+MICIO. At midnight,
+So you'll but smile to-day.
+
+DEM. And that wench too
+I'll drag away with me.
+
+MICIO. Aye; there you've hit it.
+For by that means you'll keep your son at home;
+Do but secure her.
+
+DEM. I'll see that: for there
+I'll put her in the kitchen and the mill,
+And make her full of ashes, smoke, and meal:
+Nay at high noon too she shall gather stubble.
+I'll burn her up, and make her black as coal.
+
+MICIO. Right! now you're wise.--And then I'd make my son
+Go to bed to her, though against his will.
+
+DEM. D'ye laugh at me? how happy in your temper!
+I feel----
+
+MICIO. Ah! that again?
+
+DEM. I've done.
+
+MICIO. In then!
+And let us suit our humor to the time. (_Exeunt._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    By which you may conjecture easily,
+    That when two persons do the self-same thing,
+    It oftentimes falls out that in the one
+    'Tis criminal, in t'other 'tis not so:
+  _Colman 1768_
+    By which you may conjecture of men's minds;
+    And when two persons do the self-same thing,
+    May oftentimes pronounce, that in the one
+    'Tis dangerous, in t'other 'tis not so]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FIFTH.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _DEMEA alone._
+
+Never did man lay down so fair a plan,
+So wise a rule of life, but fortune, age,
+Or long experience made some change in it;
+And taught him that those things he thought he knew
+He did not know, and what he held as best,
+In practice he threw by. The very thing
+That happens to myself. For that hard life
+Which I have ever led, my race near run,
+Now in the last stage, I renounce: and why?
+But that by dear experience I've been told,
+There's nothing so advantages a man
+As mildness and complacency. Of this
+My brother and myself are living proofs:
+He always led an easy, cheerful life;
+Good-humor'd, mild, offending nobody,
+Smiling on all; a jovial bachelor,
+His whole expenses centred in himself.
+I, on the contrary, rough, rigid, cross,
+Saving, morose, and thrifty, took a wife:
+--What miseries did marriage bring!--had children;
+--A new uneasiness!--and then besides,
+Striving all ways to make a fortune for them,
+I have worn out my prime of life and health:
+And now, my course near finish'd, what return
+Do I receive for all my toil? Their hate.
+Meanwhile my brother, without any care,
+Reaps all a father's comforts. Him they love,
+Me they avoid: to him they open all
+Their secret counsels; doat on him; and both
+Repair to him; while I am quite forsaken.
+His life they pray for, but expect my death.
+Thus those, brought up by my exceeding labor,
+He, at a small expense, has made his own:
+The care all mine, and all the pleasure his.
+--Well then, let me endeavor in my turn
+To teach my tongue civility, to give
+With open-handed generosity,
+Since I am challeng'd to't!--and let me too
+Obtain the love and reverence of my children!
+And if 'tis bought by bounty and indulgence,
+I will not be behind-hand.--Cash will fail:
+What's that to me, who am the eldest born?
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter SYRUS._
+
+SYRUS. Oh Sir! your brother has dispatch'd me to you
+To beg you'd not go further off.
+
+DEM. Who's there?----
+What, honest Syrus! save you: how is't with you?
+How goes it?
+
+SYRUS. Very well, Sir.
+
+DEM. (_aside._) Excellent!
+Now for the first time, I, against my nature,
+Have added these three phrases, "Honest Syrus!----
+How is't?--How goes it?"-- (_To SYRUS._) You have prov'd yourself
+A worthy servant. I'll reward you for it.
+
+SYRUS. I thank you, Sir.
+
+DEM. I will, I promise you;
+And you shall be convinc'd on't very soon.
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Enter GETA._
+
+GETA (_to SOSTRATA within_). Madam, I'm going to look after them,
+That they may call the bride immediately.
+--But here is Demea. Save you!
+
+DEM. Oh! your name?
+
+GETA. Geta, Sir.
+
+DEM. Geta, I this day have found you
+To be a fellow of uncommon worth:
+For sure that servant's faith is well approv'd
+Who holds his master's interest at heart,
+As I perceiv'd that you did, Geta! wherefore,
+Soon as occasion offers, I'll reward you.
+--I am endeavoring to be affable,
+And not without success. (_Aside._)
+
+GETA. 'Tis kind in you
+To think of your poor slave, Sir.
+
+DEM. (_aside._) First of all
+I court the mob, and win them by degrees.
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Enter ÆSCHINUS._
+
+ÆSCH. They murder me with their delays; and while
+They lavish all this pomp upon the nuptials,
+They waste the livelong day in preparation.
+
+DEM. How does my son?
+
+ÆSCH. My father! are you here?
+
+DEM. Aye, by affection, and by blood your father,
+Who love you better than my eyes.--But why
+Do you not call the bride?
+
+ÆSCH. 'Tis what I long for:
+But wait the music and the singers.
+
+DEM. Pshaw!
+Will you for once be rul'd by an old fellow?
+
+ÆSCH. Well?
+
+DEM. Ne'er mind singers, company, lights, music;
+But tell them to throw down the garden-wall,
+As soon as possible. Convey the bride
+That way, and lay both houses into one.
+Bring too the mother, and whole family,
+Over to us.
+
+ÆSCH. I will. O charming father!
+
+DEM. (_aside_). _Charming!_ See there! he calls me _charming_ now.
+--My brother's house will be a thoroughfare;
+Throng'd with whole crowds of people; much expense
+Will follow; very much: what's that to me?
+I am call'd _charming_, and get into favor.
+--Ho! order Babylo immediately
+To pay him twenty minæ.--Prithee, Syrus,
+Why don't you execute your orders?
+
+SYRUS. What?
+
+DEM. Down with the wall!-- (_Exit SYRUS._) You, Geta, go and bring
+The ladies over.
+
+GETA. Heaven bless you, Demea,
+For all your friendship to our family! (_Exit GETA._
+
+DEM. They're worthy of it.--What say you to this?
+(_To ÆSCHINUS._)
+
+ÆSCH. I think it admirable.
+
+DEM. 'Tis much better
+Than for a poor soul, sick, and lying-in,
+To be conducted through the street.
+
+ÆSCH. I never
+Saw any thing concerted better, Sir.
+
+DEM. 'Tis just my way.--But here comes Micio.
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _Enter MICIO._
+
+MICIO (_at entering._) My brother order it, d'ye say? where is he?
+--Was this your order, Demea?
+
+DEM. 'Twas my order:
+And by this means, and every other way,
+I would unite, serve, cherish, and oblige,
+And join the family to ours!
+
+ÆSCH. Pray do, Sir! (_To MICIO._)
+
+MICIO. I don't oppose it.
+
+DEM. Nay, but 'tis our duty.
+First, there's the mother of the bride----
+
+MICIO. What then?
+
+DEM. Worthy and modest.
+
+MICIO. So they say.
+
+DEM. In years.
+
+MICIO. True.
+
+DEM. And so far advanc'd, that she is long
+Past child-bearing, a poor lone woman too,
+With none to comfort her.
+
+MICIO. What means all this?
+
+DEM. This woman 'tis your place to marry, brother;
+--And yours (_to ÆSCHINUS_) to bring him to't.
+
+MICIO. I marry her?
+
+DEM. You.
+
+MICIO. I?
+
+DEM. Yes, you I say.
+
+MICIO. Ridiculous!
+
+DEM. (_to ÆSCHINUS_). If you're a man, he'll do't.
+
+ÆSCH. (_to MICIO_). Dear father!
+
+MICIO. How!
+Do you then join him, fool?
+
+DEM. Nay, don't deny.
+It can't be otherwise.
+
+MICIO. You've lost your senses!
+
+ÆSCH. Let me prevail upon you, Sir!
+
+MICIO. You're mad.
+Away!
+
+DEM. Oblige your son.
+
+MICIO. Have you your wits?
+I a new married man at sixty-five!
+And marry a decrepit poor old woman!
+Is that what you advise me!
+
+ÆSCH. Do it, Sir!
+I've promis'd them.
+
+MICIO. You've promis'd them, indeed!
+Prithee, boy, promise for yourself.
+
+DEM. Come, come!
+What if he ask'd still more of you?
+
+MICIO. As if
+This was not ev'n the utmost.
+
+DEM. Nay, comply!
+
+ÆSCH. Be not obdurate!
+
+DEM. Come, come, promise him.
+
+MICIO. Won't you desist?
+
+ÆSCH. No, not till I prevail.
+
+MICIO. This is mere force.
+
+DEM. Nay, nay, comply, good Micio!
+
+MICIO. Though this appears to me absurd, wrong, foolish,
+And quite repugnant to my scheme of life,
+Yet, if you're so much bent on't, let it be!
+
+ÆSCH. Obliging father, worthy my best love!
+
+DEM. (_aside_). What now?--This answers to my wish.--What more?
+--Hegio's their kinsman (_to MICIO_), our relation too,
+And very poor. We should do him some service.
+
+MICIO. Do what?
+
+DEM. There is a little piece of ground,
+Which you let out near town. Let's give it him
+To live upon.
+
+MICIO. So little, do you call it?
+
+DEM. Well, if 'tis large, let's give it. He has been
+Father to her; a good man; our relation.
+It will be given worthily. In short,
+That saying, Micio, I now make my own,
+Which you so lately and so wisely quoted;
+"It is the common failing of old men
+To be too much intent on worldly matters."
+Let us wipe off that stain. The saying's true,
+And should be practic'd.
+
+MICIO. Well, well; be it so,
+If he requires it. (_Pointing to ÆSCHINUS._)
+
+ÆSCH. I beseech it, father.
+
+DEM. Now you're indeed my brother, soul and body.
+
+MICIO. I'm glad to find you think me so.
+
+DEM. I foil him
+At his own weapons. (_Aside._)
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    [Demea's entire speech, beginning
+    Well, if 'tis large ...]
+  _Colman 1768_
+    DEM. Well, if 'tis large, let's give it. He has been
+    A father to the bride; a worthy man;
+    Our kinsman too. It will be well bestow'd.
+    In short, that saying I now make my own,
+    Which you but now so wisely quoted, Micio;
+    "It is the common failing of old men
+    To be too much intent on worldly matters."
+    Let us wipe off that stain. The saying's true,
+    And worthy notice.]
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _To them SYRUS._
+
+SYRUS. I have executed
+Your orders, Demea.
+
+DEM. A good fellow!----Truly
+Syrus, I think, should be made free to-day.
+
+MICIO. Made free! He!----Wherefore?
+
+DEM. Oh, for many reasons.
+
+SYRUS. Oh Demea, you're a noble gentleman.
+I've taken care of both your sons from boys;
+Taught them, instructed them, and given them
+The wholesomest advice that I was able.
+
+DEM. The thing's apparent: and these offices,
+To cater;--bring a wench in, safe and snug;
+--Or in mid-day prepare an entertainment;----
+All these are talents of no common man.
+
+SYRUS. Oh most delightful gentleman!
+
+DEM. Besides,
+He has been instrumental too this day
+In purchasing the Music-Girl. He manag'd
+The whole affair. We should reward him for it.
+It will encourage others.--In a word,
+Your Æschinus would have it so.
+
+MICIO. Do you
+Desire it?
+
+ÆSCH. Yes, Sir.
+
+MICIO. Well, if you desire it----
+Come hither, Syrus!--Be thou free! (_SYRUS kneels; MICIO strikes him,
+    being the ceremony of manumission, or giving a slave his freedom._)
+
+SYRUS. I thank you:
+Thanks to you all; but most of all, to Demea!
+
+DEM. I'm glad of your good fortune.
+
+ÆSCH. So am I.
+
+SYRUS. I do believe it; and I wish this joy
+Were quite complete, and I might see my wife,
+My Phrygia too, made free, as well as I.
+
+DEM. The very best of women!
+
+SYRUS. And the first
+That suckled my young master's son, your grandson.
+
+DEM. Indeed! the first who suckled him!--Nay then,
+Beyond all doubt, she should be free.
+
+MICIO. For what?
+
+DEM. For that. Nay, take the sum, whate'er it be,
+Of me.
+
+SYRUS. Now all the powers above grant all
+Your wishes, Demea!
+
+MICIO. You have thriv'd to-day
+Most rarely, Syrus.
+
+DEM. And besides this, Micio,
+It would be handsome to advance him something
+To try his fortune with. He'll soon return it.
+
+MICIO. Not that. (_Snapping his fingers._)
+
+ÆSCH. He's honest.
+
+SYRUS. Faith I will return it.
+Do but advance it.
+
+ÆSCH. Do, Sir!
+
+MICIO. Well, I'll think on't.
+
+DEM. I'll see that he shall do't. (_To SYRUS._)
+
+SYRUS. Thou best of men!
+
+ÆSCH. My most indulgent father!
+
+MICIO. What means this?
+Whence comes this hasty change of manners, brother?
+Whence flows all this extravagance? and whence
+This sudden prodigality?
+
+DEM. I'll tell you:
+To show you, that the reason why our sons
+Think you so pleasant and agreeable,
+Is not from your deserts, or truth, or justice,
+But your compliance, bounty, and indulgence.
+--Now, therefore, if I'm odious to you, son,
+Because I'm not subservient to your humor
+In all things, right or wrong; away with care!
+Spend, squander, and do what you will!--but if,
+In those affairs where youth has made you blind,
+Eager, and thoughtless, you will suffer me
+To counsel and correct--and in due season
+Indulge you--I am at your service.
+
+ÆSCH. Father,
+In all things we submit ourselves to you.
+What's fit and proper, you know best.--But what
+Shall come of my poor brother?
+
+DEM. I consent
+That he shall have her: let him finish there.
+
+ÆSCH. All now is as it should be.-- (_To the audience._) Clap your
+    hands!
+
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+           *       *       *       *
+
+
+THE STEP-MOTHER.
+
+
+PERSONS REPRESENTED.
+
+  PROLOGUE.
+  LACHES.
+  PHIDIPPUS.
+  PAMPHILUS.
+  PARMENO.
+  SOSIA.
+  BOY, _and other Servants._
+
+  SOSTRATA.
+  MYRRHINA.
+  BACCHIS.
+  PHILOTIS.
+  SYRA.
+  NURSE, _Servants to Bacchis, etc._
+
+SCENE, ATHENS.
+
+
+
+
+PROLOGUE.
+
+This play is call'd the STEP-MOTHER. When first
+It was presented, such a hurricane,
+A tumult so uncommon interven'd,
+It neither could be seen nor understood:
+So taken were the people, so engag'd
+By a rope-dancer!--It is now brought on
+As a new piece: and he who wrote the play
+Suffer'd it not to be repeated then,
+That he might profit by a second sale.
+Others, his plays, you have already known;
+Now then, let me beseech you, know this too.
+
+
+ANOTHER PROLOGUE.
+
+I come a pleader, in the shape of prologue:
+Let me then gain my cause, and now grown old.
+Experience the same favor as when young;
+Who then recover'd many a lost play,
+Breath'd a new life into the scenes, and sav'd
+The author and his writings from oblivion.
+Of those which first I studied of Cæcilius,
+In some I was excluded; and in some
+Hardly maintain'd my ground. But knowing well
+The variable fortunes of the scene,
+I was content to hazard certain toil
+For an uncertain gain. I undertook
+To rescue those same plays from condemnation,
+And labor'd to reverse your sentence on them;
+That the same Poet might afford me more,
+And no ill fortune damp young Genius in him.
+My cares prevail'd; the plays were heard; and thus
+Did I restore an Author, nearly lost
+Through the malevolence of adversaries,
+To study, labor, and the Poet's art.
+But had I at that time despis'd his plays,
+Or labor'd to deter him from the task,
+It had been easy to have kept him idle,
+And to have scar'd him from attempting more:
+For my sake, therefore, deign to hear with candor
+The suit I mean to offer to you now.
+
+Once more I bring the STEP-MOTHER before you,
+Which yet in silence I might never play;
+So did confusion crush it: which confusion
+Your prudence may allay, if it will deign
+To second our endeavors.--When I first
+Began to play this piece, the sturdy Boxers,
+(The dancers on the rope expected too,)
+Th' increasing crowds, the noise and women's clamor,
+Oblig'd me to retire before my time.
+I, upon this occasion, had recourse
+To my old way. I brought it on again.
+In the first act I please: meanwhile there spreads
+A rumor of the Gladiators: then
+The people flock together, riot, roar,
+And fight for places. I meanwhile _my_ place
+Could not maintain--To-day there's no disturbance;
+All's silence and attention; a clear stage:
+'Tis yours to give these games their proper grace.
+Let not, oh let not the Dramatic Art
+Fall to a few! let your authority
+Assist and second mine! if I for gain
+Ne'er overrated my abilities,
+If I have made it still my only care
+To be obedient to your will, oh grant
+That he who hath committed his performance
+To my defense, and who hath thrown himself
+On your protection, be not giv'n to scorn,
+And foul derision of his envious foes!
+
+Admit this plea for my sake, and be silent;
+That other Poets may not fear to write,
+That I too may hereafter find it meet
+To play new pieces bought at my expense.
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FIRST.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _PHILOTIS, SYRA._
+
+PHI. Now, by my troth, a woman of the town
+Scarce ever finds a faithful lover, Syra.
+This very Pamphilus, how many times
+He swore to Bacchis, swore so solemnly
+One could not but believe him, that he never
+Would, in her lifetime, marry. See! he's married.
+
+SYRA. I warn you, therefore, and most earnestly
+Conjure you, to have pity upon none.
+But plunder, fleece, and beggar ev'ry man
+That falls into your pow'r.
+
+PHI. What! spare none?
+
+SYRA. None.
+For know, there is not one of all your sparks
+But studies to cajole you with fine speeches,
+And have his will as cheaply as he can.
+Should not you, then, endeavor to fool them?
+
+PHI. But to treat all alike is wrong.
+
+SYRA. What! wrong?
+To be reveng'd upon your enemies?
+Or to snare those who spread their snares for you?
+--Alas! why have not I your youth and beauty,
+Or you my sentiments?
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter PARMENO._
+
+PAR. (_to SCRITUS within_). If our old gentleman
+Asks for me, tell him I'm this very moment
+Gone to the Port to seek for Pamphilus.
+D'ye understand my meaning, Scritus? If he asks,
+Tell him that; if he should not ask, say nothing;
+That this excuse may serve another time. (_Comes forward._
+--But is not that Philotis? Whence comes she?
+Philotis, save you!
+
+PHI. Save you, Parmeno!
+
+SYRA. Save you, good Parmeno!
+
+PAR. And save you, Syra!
+--Tell me, Philotis, where have you been gadding?
+Taking your pleasure this long time?
+
+PHI. I've taken
+No pleasure, Parmeno, indeed. I went
+With a most brutal Captain hence to Corinth,
+There have I led a wretched life with him
+For two whole years.
+
+PAR. Aye, aye, I warrant you
+That you have often wish'd to be in Athens;
+Often repented of your journey.
+
+PHI. Oh,
+'Tis quite impossible to tell how much
+I long'd to be at home, how much I long'd
+To leave the Captain, see you, revel with you,
+After the good old fashion, free and easy.
+For there I durst not speak a single word,
+But what, and when the mighty Captain pleas'd.
+
+PAR. 'Twas cruel in him thus to tie your tongue:
+At least, I'll warrant, that you thought it so.
+
+PHI. But what's this business, Parmeno? this story
+That Bacchis has been telling me within?
+I could not have believ'd that Pamphilus
+Would in her lifetime marry.
+
+PAR. Marry truly!
+
+PHI. Why he is married: is not he?
+
+PAR. He is.
+But I'm afraid 'twill prove a crazy match,
+And will not hold together long.
+
+PHI. Heav'n grant it.
+So it turn out to Bacchis's advantage!
+But how can I believe this, Parmeno?
+Tell me.
+
+PAR. It is not fit it should be told.
+Inquire no more.
+
+PHI. For fear I should divulge it?
+Now Heav'n so prosper me, as I inquire,
+Not for the sake of telling it again,
+But to rejoice within myself.
+
+PAR. All these
+Fair words, Philotis, sha'n't prevail on me
+To trust my back to your discretion.
+
+PHI. Well;
+Don't tell me, Parmeno.--As if you had not
+Much rather tell this secret than I hear it.
+
+PAR. She's in the right: I am a blab, 'tis true,
+It is my greatest failing.--Give your word
+You'll not reveal it, and I'll tell you.
+
+PHI. Now
+You're like yourself again. I give my word.
+Speak.
+
+PAR. Listen then.
+
+PHI. I'm all ear.
+
+PAR. Pamphilus
+Doted on Bacchis still as much as ever,
+When the old gentleman began to tease him
+To marry, in the common cant of fathers;
+--"That he was now grown old; and Pamphilus
+His only child; and that he long'd for heirs,
+As props of his old age." At first my master
+Withstood his instances, but as his father
+Became more hot and urgent, Pamphilus
+Began to waver in his mind, and felt
+A conflict betwixt love and duty in him.
+At length, by hammering on marriage still,
+And daily instances, th' old man prevail'd,
+And made a match with our next neighbor's daughter.
+Pamphilus did not take it much to heart,
+Till just upon the very brink of wedlock:
+But when he saw the nuptial rites prepar'd,
+And, without respite, he must many; then
+It came so home to him, that even Bacchis,
+Had she been present, must have pitied him.
+Whenever he could steal from company,
+And talk to me alone,--"Oh Parmeno,
+What have I done?" he'd cry.--"I'm lost forever.
+Into what ruin have I plung'd myself!
+I can not bear it, Parmeno. Ah wretch!
+I am undone."
+
+PHI. Now all the powers of heav'n
+Confound you, Laches, for thus teasing him?
+
+PAR. In short, he marries, and brings home his wife.
+The first night he ne'er touch'd her! nor the next.
+
+PHI. How! he a youth, and she a maidenhead!
+Tipsy, and never touch her! 'Tis not likely;
+Nor do I think it can be true.
+
+PAR. No wonder.
+For they that come to you come all desire:
+But he was bound to her against his will.
+
+PHI. What followed upon this?
+
+PAR. A few days after,
+Pamphilus, taking me aside, informs me,
+"That the maid still remain'd a maid for him;
+That he had hop'd, before he brought her home,
+He might have borne the marriage:--but resolving
+Within myself not to retain her long,
+I held it neither honesty in me,
+Nor of advantage to the maid herself,
+That I should throw her off to scorn:--but rather
+Return her to her friends, as I receiv'd her,
+Chaste and inviolate."
+
+PHI. A worthy youth,
+And of great modesty!
+
+PAR. "To make this public
+Would not, I think, do well: and to return her
+Upon her father's hands, no crime alleg'd,
+As arrogant: but she, I hope, as soon
+As she perceives she can not live with me,
+Will of her own accord depart."
+
+PHI. But tell me;
+Went he meanwhile to Bacchis?
+
+PAR. Every day.
+But she, as is the way you know, perceiving
+He was another's property, became
+More cross and mercenary.
+
+PHI. Troth, no wonder.
+
+PAR. Aye, but 'twas that detach'd him chiefly from her.
+For when he had examined well himself,
+Bacchis, and her at home; and had compar'd
+Their different manners; seeing that his bride,
+After the fashion of a lib'ral mind,
+Was decent, modest, patient of affronts,
+And anxious to conceal the wrongs he did her;
+Touch'd partly with compassion for his wife,
+And partly tir'd with t'other's insolence,
+He by degrees withdrew his heart from Bacchis,
+Transferring it to her, whose disposition
+Was so congenial to his own. Meanwhile
+An old relation of the family
+Dies in the isle of Imbrus. His estate
+Comes by the law to them; and our old man
+Dispatching thither, much against his will,
+The now-fond Pamphilus, he leaves his wife
+Here with his mother. The old gentleman
+Retir'd into the country, and but seldom
+Comes up to town.
+
+PHI. But what is there in this
+That can affect the marriage?
+
+PAR. You shall hear
+Immediately. At first, for some few days,
+The women seem'd to live on friendly terms:
+Till all at once the bride, forsooth, conceiv'd
+A wonderful disgust to Sostrata:
+And yet there was no open breach between them,
+And no complaints on either side.
+
+PHI. What then?
+
+PAR. If Sostrata, for conversation' sake,
+Went to the bride, she instantly withdrew,
+Shunning her company. At length, not able
+To bear it any longer, she pretends
+Her mother had sent for her to assist
+At some home-sacrifice. Away she went.
+After a few days' absence, Sostrata
+Sent for her back. They made some lame excuse,
+I know not what. She sends again. No lady.
+Then after several messages, at last
+They say the gentlewoman's sick. My mistress
+Goes on a visit to her: not let in.
+Th' old gentleman, inform'd of all this, came
+On this occasion yesterday to town;
+And waited on the father of the bride.
+What pass'd between them, I as yet can't tell;
+And yet I long to know the end of this.
+--There's the whole business. Now I'll on my way.
+
+PHI. And I: for there's a stranger here, with whom
+I have an assignation.
+
+PAR. Speed the plow!
+
+PHI. Parmeno, fare you well!
+
+PAR. Farewell, Philotis! (_Exeunt severally._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    PAR. (_to SCRITUS within_).
+    ...
+    D'ye understand my meaning, Scritus?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PAR. (_to SCIRTUS within_).
+    ...
+    D'ye understand my meaning, Scirtus?
+
+  _Harper_
+    PAR. All these
+    Fair words, Philotis, sha'n't prevail on me
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PAR. No, no:
+    Fair words, Philotis, sha'n't prevail on me
+
+  _Harper_
+    As arrogant: but she, I hope, as soon
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Is arrogant: but she, I hope, as soon
+
+    The women seem'd to live on friendly terms:
+  _Harper edition reads "The woman"_
+
+  _Harper_
+    Shunning her company. At length, not able
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Shunning her company. At length, unable]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE SECOND.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _LACHES, SOSTRATA._
+
+LACH. Oh heav'n and earth, what animals are women!
+What a conspiracy between them all,
+To do or not do, love or hate alike!
+Not one but has the sex so strong in her,
+She differs nothing from the rest. Step-mothers
+All hate their Step-daughters: and every wife
+Studies alike to contradict her husband,
+The same perverseness running through them all.
+Each seems train'd up in the same school of mischief:
+And of that school, if any such there be,
+My wife, I think, is schoolmistress.
+
+SOSTRA. Ah me!
+Who know not why I am accus'd.
+
+LACH. Not know?
+
+SOSTRA. No, as I hope for mercy! as I hope
+We may live long together!
+
+LACH. Heav'n forbid!
+
+SOSTRA. Hereafter, Laches, you'll be sensible
+How wrongfully you have accus'd me.
+
+LACH. I?
+Accuse you wrongfully?----Is't possible
+To speak too hardly of your late behavior?
+Disgracing me, yourself, and family;
+Laying up sorrow for your absent son;
+Converting into foes his new-made friends,
+Who thought him worthy of their child in marriage.
+You've been our bane, and by your shrewishness
+Brew'd this disturbance.
+
+SOSTRA. I?
+
+LACH. You, woman, you!
+Who take me for a stone, and not a man.
+Think ye, because I'm mostly in the country,
+I'm ignorant of your proceedings here?
+No, no; I know much better what's done here,
+Than where I'm chiefly resident. Because
+Upon my family at home depends
+My character abroad. I knew long since
+Philumena's disgust to you;----no wonder!
+Nay, 'twere a wonder, had it not been so.
+Yet I imagin'd not her hate so strong,
+'Twould vent itself upon the family:
+Which had I dream'd of, she should have remain'd,
+And you pack'd off.--Consider, Sostrata,
+How little cause you had to vex me thus.
+In complaisance to you, and husbanding
+My fortune, I retir'd into the country:
+Scraping, and laboring beyond the bounds
+Of reason, or my age, that my estate
+Might furnish means for your expense and pleasure.
+--Was it not then your duty, in return,
+To see that nothing happen'd here to vex me?
+
+SOSTRA. 'Twas not my doing, nor my fault indeed.
+
+LACH. 'Twas your fault, Sostrata; your fault alone.
+You was sole mistress here; and in your care
+The house, though I had freed you of all other cares.
+A woman, an old woman too, and quarrel
+With a green girl! oh shame upon't!--You'll say
+That 'twas her fault.
+
+SOSTRA. Not I indeed, my Laches.
+
+LACH. 'Fore Heav'n, I'm glad on't! on my son's account.
+For as for you, I'm well enough assur'd,
+No fault can make you worse.
+
+SOSTRA. But prithee, husband,
+How can you tell that her aversion to me
+Is not a mere pretense, that she may stay
+The longer with her mother?
+
+LACH. No such thing.
+Was not your visit yesterday a proof,
+From their denial to admit you to her?
+
+SOSTRA. They said she was so sick she could not see me.
+
+LACH. Sick of your humors; nothing else, I fancy.
+And well she might: for there's not one of you
+But want your sons to take a wife: and that's
+No sooner over, but the very woman
+Which, by your instigation, they have married,
+They, by your instigation, put away.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    You was sole mistress here; and in your care
+  _Colman 1768_
+    You were sole mistress here; and in your care]
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter PHIDIPPUS._
+
+PHID. (_to PHILUMENA within_). Although, Philumena, I know
+my pow'r
+To force you to comply with my commands;
+Yet yielding to paternal tenderness,
+I e'en give way, nor cross your humor.
+
+LACH. See,
+Phidippus in good time! I'll learn from him
+The cause of this.-- (_Going up to him._) Phidippus, though I own
+Myself indulgent to my family,
+Yet my complacency and easiness
+Runs not to that extreme, that my good-nature
+Corrupts their morals. Would you act like me,
+'Twould be of service to both families.
+But you, I see, are wholly in their power.
+
+PHID. See there!
+
+LACH. I waited on you yesterday
+About your daughter: but I went away
+No wiser than I came. It is not right,
+If you would have the alliance last between us,
+To smother your resentment. If we seem
+In fault, declare it; that we may refute,
+Or make amends for our offense: and you
+Shall carve the satisfaction out yourself.
+But if her sickness only is the cause
+Of her remaining in your family,
+Trust me, Phidippus, but you do me wrong,
+To doubt her due attendance at my house.
+For, by the pow'rs of heav'n, I'll not allow
+That you, although her father, wish her better
+Than I. I love her on my son's account;
+To whom, I'm well convinc'd, she is as dear
+As he is to himself: and I can tell
+How deeply 'twill affect him, if he knows this.
+Wherefore I wish she should come home again,
+Before my son's return.
+
+PHID. My good friend Laches,
+I know your care, and your benevolence;
+Nor doubt that all is as you say; and hope
+That you'll believe I wish for her return,
+So I could but effect it.
+
+LACH. What prevents it?
+Tell me, Phidippus! does she blame her husband?
+
+PHID. Not in the least. For when I urg'd it home,
+And threaten'd to oblige her to return,
+She vow'd most solemnly she could not bear
+Your house, so long as Pamphilus was absent.
+--All have their failings: I am of so soft
+A nature, I can't thwart my family.
+
+LACH. Ha, Sostrata! (_To SOSTRATA, apart._)
+
+SOSTRA. Wretch that I am! Ah me! (_Aside._)
+
+LACH. And her return's impossible? (_To PHIDIPPUS._)
+
+PHID. At present.
+--Would you aught else with me? for I have business
+That calls me to the Forum.
+
+LACH. I'll go with you. (_Exeunt._
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Manet SOSTRATA._
+
+SOSTRA. How unjustly
+Do husbands stretch their censures to all wives
+For the offenses of a few, whose vices
+Reflect dishonor on the rest!--For, Heaven
+So help me, as I'm wholly innocent
+Of what my husband now accuses me!
+But 'tis no easy task to clear myself;
+So fix'd and rooted is the notion in them,
+That Step-Mothers are all severe.--Not I;
+For I have ever lov'd Philumena
+As my own daughter; nor can I conceive
+What accident has drawn her hatred on me.
+My son's return, I hope, will settle all;
+And, ah, I've too much cause to wish his coming. (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    For the offenses of a few, whose vices
+    Reflect dishonor on the rest!--For, Heaven
+    So help me, as I'm wholly innocent
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Because of the offences of a few,
+    Whose faults reflect dishonour on the rest!
+    --For, heav'n so help me, as I'm innocent]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE THIRD.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _Enter PAMPHILUS and PARMENO._
+
+PAM. Never did man experience greater ills,
+More miseries in love than I.--Distraction!
+Was it for this I held my life so dear?
+For this was I so anxious to return?
+Better, much better were it to have liv'd
+In any place, than come to this again!
+To feel and know myself a wretch!--For when
+Mischance befalls us, all the interval
+Between its happening, and our knowledge of it,
+May be esteem'd clear gain.
+
+PAR. But as it is,
+You'll sooner be deliver'd from your troubles:
+For had you not return'd, the breach between them
+Had been made wider. But now, Pamphilus,
+Both will, I doubt not, reverence your presence.
+You'll know the whole, make up their difference,
+And reconcile them to each other.--These
+Are all mere trifles, which you think so grievous.
+
+PAM. Ah, why will you attempt to comfort me?
+Was ever such a wretch?--Before I married,
+My heart, you know, was wedded to another.
+--But I'll not dwell upon that misery,
+Which may he easily conceiv'd: and yet
+I had not courage to refuse the match
+My father forc'd upon me.--Scarcely wean'd
+From my old love, my lim'd soul scarcely freed
+From Bacchis, and devoted to my wife,
+Than, lo, a new calamity arises,
+Threatening to tear me from Philumena.
+For either I shall find my mother faulty,
+Or else my wife: In either case unhappy.
+For duty, Parmeno, obliges me
+To bear with all the failings of a mother:
+And then I am so bounden to my wife,
+Who, calm as patience, bore the wrongs I did her,
+Nor ever murmur'd a complaint.--But sure
+'Twas somewhat very serious, Parmeno,
+That could occasion such a lasting quarrel.
+
+PAR. Rather some trifle, if you knew the truth.
+The greatest quarrels do not always rise
+From deepest injuries. We often see
+That what would never move another's spleen
+Renders the choleric your worst of foes.
+Observe how lightly children squabble.--Why?
+Because they're govern'd by a feeble mind.
+Women, like children, too, are impotent,
+And weak of soul. A single word, perhaps,
+Has kindled all this enmity between them.
+
+PAM. Go, Parmeno, and let them know I'm come.
+
+(_Noise within._)
+
+PAR. Ha! what's all this?
+
+PAM. Hush!
+
+PAR. I perceive a bustle,
+And running to and fro.--Come this way, Sir!
+--To the door!--nearer still!--There, there, d'ye hear?
+
+(_Noise continues._)
+
+PAM. Peace; hush! (_Shriek within._) Oh Jupiter, I heard
+a shriek!
+
+PAR. You talk yourself, and bid me hold my tongue.
+
+MYRRHINA (_within_). Hush, my dear child, for Heaven's sake!
+
+PAM. It seem'd
+The voice of my wife's mother. I am ruin'd!
+
+PAR. How so?
+
+PAM. Undone!
+
+PAR. And why?
+
+PAM. Ah, Parmeno,
+They hide some terrible misfortune from me!
+
+PAR. They said your wife Philumena was ill:
+Whether 'tis that, I can not tell.
+
+PAM. Death, Sirrah!
+Why did you not inform me that before?
+
+PAR. Because I could not tell you all at once.
+
+PAM. What's her disorder?
+
+PAR. I don't know.
+
+PAM. But tell me,
+Has she had no physician?
+
+PAR. I don't know.
+
+PAM. But why do I delay to enter straight,
+That I may learn the truth, be what it will?
+--Oh my Philumena, in what condition
+Shall I now find thee?--If there's danger of thee,
+My life's in danger too. (_Exit._
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _PARMENO alone._
+
+It were not good
+That I should follow him into the house:
+For all our family are odious to them.
+That's plain from their denying Sostrata
+Admittance yesterday.--And if by chance
+Her illness should increase (which Heav'n forbid,
+For my poor master's sake!), they'll cry directly,
+"Sostrata's servant came into the house:"
+Swear,--"that I brought the plague along with me,
+Put all their lives in danger, and increas'd
+Philumena's distemper."--By which means
+My mistress will be blam'd, and I be beaten.
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Enter SOSTRATA._
+
+SOSTRA. Alas, I hear a dreadful noise within.
+Philumena, I fear, grows worse and worse:
+Which Æsculapius, and thou, Health, forbid!
+But now I'll visit her. (_Goes toward the house._)
+
+PAR. Ho, Sostrata!
+
+SOSTRA. Who's there?
+
+PAR. You'll be shut out a second time.
+
+SOSTRA. Ha, Parmeno, are you there?--Wretched woman!
+What shall I do?--Not visit my son's wife,
+When she lies sick at next door!
+
+PAR. Do not go;
+No, nor send any body else; for they
+That love the folks, to whom themselves are odious,
+I think are guilty of a double folly:
+Their labor proves but idle to themselves,
+And troublesome to those for whom 'tis meant.
+Besides, your son, the moment he arriv'd,
+Went in to visit her.
+
+SOSTRA. How, Parmeno!
+Is Pamphilus arriv'd?
+
+PAR. He is.
+
+SOSTRA. Thank Heav'n!
+Oh, how my comfort is reviv'd by that!
+
+PAR. And therefore I ne'er went into the house.
+For if Philumena's complaints abate,
+She'll tell him, face to face, the whole affair,
+And what has pass'd between you to create
+This difference.--But here he comes--how sad!
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Enter PAMPHILUS._
+
+SOSTRA. My dear boy, Pamphilus!
+
+PAM. My mother, save you! (_Disordered._)
+
+SOSTRA. I'm glad to see you safe return'd--How does
+Your wife!
+
+PAM. A little better.
+
+SOSTRA. Grant it, Heav'n!
+--But why d'ye weep, and why are you so sad?
+
+PAM. Nothing, good mother.
+
+SOSTRA. What was all that bustle?
+Tell me, did pain attack her suddenly?
+
+PAM. It did.
+
+SOSTRA. And what is her complaint?
+
+PAM. A fever.
+
+SOSTRA. What! a quotidian?
+
+PAR. So they say.--But in,
+Good mother, and I'll follow.
+
+SOSTRA. Be it so. (_Exit._
+
+PAM. Do you run, Parmeno, to meet the servants,
+And give your help in bringing home the baggage.
+
+PAR. As if they did not know the road!
+
+PAM. Away! (_Exit PARMENO._
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _PAMPHILUS alone._
+
+Which way shall I begin the wretched tale
+Of my misfortunes, which have fall'n upon me
+Thus unexpectedly? which even now
+These very eyes have seen, these ears have heard?
+And which, discover'd, drove me out o'doors.
+Cover'd with deep confusion?--For but now
+As I rush'd in, all anxious for my wife,
+And thinking to have found her visited,
+Alas! with a far different complaint;
+Soon as her women saw me, at first sight
+Struck and o'erjoy'd, they all exclaim'd, "He's come!"
+And then as soon each countenance was chang'd,
+That chance had brought me so unseasonably.
+Meanwhile one of them ran before, to speak
+Of my arrival. I, who long'd to see her,
+Directly follow'd; and no sooner enter'd,
+Than her disorder was, alas! too plain:
+For neither had they leisure to disguise it,
+Nor could she silence the loud cries of travail.
+Soon as I saw it, "Oh shame, shame!" I cried,
+And rush'd away in tears and agony,
+O'erwhelm'd with horror at a stroke so grievous.
+The mother follows me, and at the threshold
+Falls on her knees before me all in tears.
+This touch'd me to the soul. And certainly
+'Tis in the very nature of our minds,
+To rise and fall according to our fortunes.
+Thus she address'd me.-- "Oh, my Pamphilus,
+The cause of her removal from your house
+You've now discover'd. To my virgin-daughter
+Some unknown villain offer'd violence;
+And she fled hither to conceal her labor
+From you and from your family."--Alas!
+When I but call her earnest prayers to mind,
+I can not choose but weep.--"Whatever chance,"
+Continued she, "whatever accident,
+Brought you to-day thus suddenly upon us,
+By that we both conjure you--if in justice
+And equity we may--to keep in silence,
+And cover her distress.--Oh, Pamphilus,
+If e'er you witness'd her affection for you,
+By that affection she implores you now
+Not to refuse us!--for recalling her,
+Do as your own discretion shall direct.
+That she's in labor now, or has conceiv'd
+By any other person, is a secret
+Known but to you alone. For I've been told,
+The two first months you had no commerce with her,
+And it is now the seventh since your union.
+Your sentiments on this are evident.
+But now, my Pamphilus, if possible,
+I'll call it a miscarriage: no one else
+But will believe, as probable, 'tis yours.
+The child shall be immediately expos'd.
+No inconvenience will arise to you;
+While thus you shall conceal the injury
+That my poor girl unworthily sustain'd."
+--I promis'd her; and I will keep my word.
+But to recall her would be poor indeed:
+Nor will I do it, though I love her still.
+And former commerce binds me strongly to her.
+--I can't but weep, to think how sad and lonely
+My future life will be.--Oh fickle fortune!
+How transient are thy smiles!--But I've been school'd
+To patience by my former hapless passion,
+Which I subdued by reason: and I'll try
+By reason to subdue this too.--But yonder
+Comes Parmeno, I see, with th' other slaves!
+He must by no means now be present, since
+To him alone I formerly reveal'd
+That I abstain'd from her when first we married:
+And if he hears her frequent cries, I fear
+That he'll discover her to be in labor.
+I must dispatch him on some idle errand,
+Until Philumena's deliver'd.
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _Enter at a distance PARMENO, SOSIA, and other slaves with baggage._
+
+PAR. (_to SOSIA_). Aye?
+And had you such a wretched voyage, say you?
+
+SOSIA. Oh Parmeno, words can't express how wretched
+A sea-life is.
+
+PAR. Indeed?
+
+SOSIA. Oh happy Parmeno!
+You little know the dangers you've escap'd,
+Who've never been at sea.--For not to dwell
+On other hardships, only think of this!
+I was on shipboard thirty days or more,
+In constant fear of sinking all the while,
+The winds so contrary, such stormy weather!
+
+PAR. Dreadful!
+
+SOSIA. I found it so, I promise you.
+In short, were I assur'd I must return,
+'Fore Heaven, Parmeno, I'd run away,
+Rather than go on board a ship again.
+
+PAR. You have been apt enough to think of that
+On slighter reasons, Sosia, before now.
+--But yonder's my young master Pamphilus
+Standing before that door.--Go in! I'll to him,
+And see if he has any business for me.
+
+(_Exeunt SOSIA, and the rest of the slaves with the baggage._
+
+Master, are you here still? (_To PAMPHILUS._)
+
+PAM. Oh Parmeno!
+I waited for you.
+
+PAR. What's your pleasure, Sir?
+
+PAM. Run to the Citadel.
+
+PAR. Who?
+
+PAM. You.
+
+PAR. The Citadel!
+For what?
+
+PAM. Find out one Callidemides,
+My landlord of Mycone, who came over
+In the same ship with me.
+
+PAR. A plague upon it!
+Would not one swear that he had made a vow
+To break my wind, if he came home in safety,
+With running on his errands?
+
+PAM. Away, Sirrah!
+
+PAR. What message? must I only find him out?
+
+PAM. Yes; tell him that it is not in my power
+To meet him there to-day, as I appointed;
+That he mayn't wait for me in vain.--Hence; fly!
+
+PAR. But I don't know him, if I see him, Sir.
+
+PAM. (_impatiently_). Well; I'll describe him, so you can not miss him.
+--A large, red, frizzle-pated, gross, blear-eyed,
+Ill-looking fellow.
+
+PAR. Plague on him, say I!
+--What if he should not come, Sir, must I wait
+Till evening for him?
+
+PAM. Wait.--Be quick!
+
+PAR. Be quick?
+I can't be quick,--I'm so much tir'd. (_Exit._
+
+
+SCENE VII.
+
+  _PAMPHILOS alone._
+
+He's gone.
+What shall I do? Alas! I scarcely know
+How to conceal, as Myrrhina desir'd,
+Her daughter's labor. Yet I pity her;
+And what I can, I am resolv'd to do,
+Consistent with my duty: for my parents
+Must be obey'd before my love.--But see!
+My father and Phidippus come this way.
+How I shall act, Heav'n knows.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    And what I can, I am resolv'd to do,
+    Consistent with my duty: for my parents
+  _Colman 1768_
+    And what I can, consistent with my duty,
+    I am resolv'd to do: and yet my parents
+
+
+SCENE VIII.
+
+  _Enter at a distance LACHES and PHIDIPPUS._
+
+LACH. Did not you say
+She only waited my son's coming?
+
+PHID. Aye.
+
+LACH. They say that he's arriv'd. Let us return then!
+
+PAM. (_behind_). What reason I shall frame to give my father,
+For not recalling her, I can not tell.
+
+LACH. (_overhearing_). Whose voice was that?
+
+PAM. (_to himself_). And yet I am resolv'd
+To stand to my first purpose.
+
+LACH. (_seeing PAMPHILUS_). He himself,
+Whom I was speaking of!
+
+PAM. (_going up_). My father, save you!
+
+LACH. Save you, my son!
+
+PHID. Pamphilus, welcome home!
+I'm glad to see you safe, and in good health.
+
+PAM. I do believe it.
+
+LACH. Are you just now come?
+
+PAM. Just now, Sir.
+
+LACH. Well; and tell me, Pamphilus,
+What has our kinsman Phania left us?
+
+PAM. Ah, Sir,
+He, his whole lifetime, was a man of pleasure,
+And such men seldom much enrich their heirs.
+Yet he has left at least this praise behind him,
+"While he liv'd, he liv'd well."
+
+LACH. And have you brought
+Nothing home with you but this single sentence?
+
+PAM. What he has left, though small, is of advantage.
+
+LACH. Advantage? No, it is a disadvantage:
+For I could wish he was alive and well.
+
+PHID. That you may safely; for your wishing for't
+Will never bring the man to life again:
+Yet I know well enough which you'd like best. (_Aside._)
+
+LACH. (_to PAMPHILUS_). Phidippus order'd that Philumena
+Should be sent over to him yesterday.
+--Say that you order'd it. (_Aside to PHIDIPPUS, thrusting him._)
+
+PHID. (_aside to LACHES_). Don't thrust me so.----
+I did. (_Aloud._)
+
+LACH. But now he'll send her home again.
+
+PHID. I will.
+
+PAM. Nay, nay, I know the whole affair.
+Since my arrival, I have heard it all.
+
+LACH. Now plague upon these envious tale-bearers,
+Who are so glad to fetch and carry news!
+
+PAM. (_to PHIDIPPUS_). That I've endeavor'd to deserve no blame
+From any of the family, I'm conscious.
+Were it my inclination to relate
+How true I've been, how kind and gentle tow'rd her,
+I well might do it: but I rather choose
+You should collect it from herself. For when
+She, although now there's enmity between us,
+Bespeaks me fair, you will the sooner credit
+My disposition tow'rd her. And I call
+The Gods to witness that this separation
+Has not arisen from my fault. But since
+She thinks it is beneath her to comply
+With Sostrata, and bear my mother's temper;
+And since no other means are to be found
+Of reconciliation, I, Phidippus,
+Must leave my mother or Philumena.
+Duty then calls me to regard my mother.
+
+LACH. My Pamphilus, I can not be displeas'd
+That you prefer to all the world a parent.
+But take heed your resentment don't transport you
+Beyond the bounds of reason, Pamphilus.
+
+PAM. Ah, what resentment can I bear to her,
+Who ne'er did any thing I'd wish undone,
+But has so often deserv'd well of me?
+I love her, own her worth, and languish for her;
+For I have known her tenderness of soul:
+And Heaven grant that with some other husband
+She find that happiness she miss'd in me;
+From whom the strong hand of necessity
+Divorces her forever!
+
+PHID. That event
+'Tis in your pow'r to hinder.
+
+LACH. If you're wise,
+Take your wife home again!
+
+PAM. I can not, father.
+I must not slack my duty to my mother. (_Going._)
+
+LACH. Where are you going? (_Exit PAMPHILUS._
+
+
+SCENE IX.
+
+  _Manent LACHES and PHIDIPPUS._
+
+PHID. How perverse is this! (_Angrily._)
+
+LACH. Did not I say he'd take it ill, Phidippus,
+And therefore begg'd you to send back your daughter?
+
+PHID. 'Fore Heaven I did not think him such a churl.
+What! does he fancy I'll go cringing to him?
+No;--if he'll take his wife he may:--if not,
+Let him refund her portion;--there's an end!
+
+LACH. See there now! you're as fractious as himself.
+
+PHID. You're come back obstinate and proud enough
+In conscience, Pamphilus! (_Angrily._)
+
+LACH. This anger will subside,
+Though he has had some cause to be disturb'd.
+
+PHID. Because you've had a little money left you,
+Your minds are so exalted!
+
+LACH. What, d'ye quarrel
+With me too?
+
+PHID. Let him take to-day to think on't,
+And send me word if he shall have her home
+Or not: that if she don't remain his wife,
+She may be given to another. (_Exit hastily._
+
+
+SCENE X.
+
+  _LACHES alone._
+
+Stay!
+Hear me! one word, Phidippus! Stay!--He's gone.
+--What is't to me? (_Angrily._) E'en let them settle it
+Among themselves; since nor my son, nor he
+Take my advice, nor mind one word I say.
+--This quarrel shall go round, I promise them:
+I'll to my wife, the author of this mischief,
+And vent my spleen and anger upon her. (_Exit._
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FOURTH.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _Enter MYRRHINA hastily._
+
+MYRR. What shall I do?--Confusion!--which way turn?
+Alas! what answer shall I make my husband?
+For I dare say he heard the infant's cries,
+He ran so hastily, without a word,
+Into my daughter's chamber. If he finds
+That she has been deliver'd, what excuse
+To make, for having thus conceal'd her labor,
+I can't devise.--But our door creaks!--'tis he.
+I am undone.
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter PHIDIPPUS._
+
+PHID. Soon as my wife perceiv'd
+That I was going to my daughter's chamber,
+She stole directly out o'doors.--But there
+She stands.--Why, how now, Myrrhina?
+Holo, I say! (_She affects not to see him._)
+
+MYRR. D'ye call me, husband?
+
+PHID. Husband!
+Am I your husband? am I ev'n a man?
+For had you thought me to be either, woman,
+You would not dare to play upon me thus.
+
+MYRR. How!
+
+PHID. How?--My daughter has been brought to bed.
+--Ha! are you dumb?--By whom?
+
+MYRR. Is that a question
+For you, who are her father, to demand?
+Alas! by whom d'ye think, unless her husband?
+
+PHID. So I believe: nor is it for a father
+To suppose otherwise. But yet I wonder
+That you have thus conceal'd her labor from us,
+Especially as she has been deliver'd
+At her full time, and all is as it should be.
+What! Is there such perverseness in your nature,
+As rather to desire the infant's death,
+Than that his birth should knit the bond of friendship
+Closer betwixt us; rather than my daughter,
+Against your liking, should remain the wife
+Of Pamphilus?--I thought all this
+Had been their fault, while you're alone to blame.
+
+MYRR. How wretched am I!
+
+PHID. Would to Heav'n you were!
+--But now I recollect your conversation
+When first we made this match, you then declar'd
+You'd not endure she should remain the wife
+Of Pamphilus, who follow'd mistresses,
+And pass'd the nights abroad.
+
+MYRR. I had much rather
+He should think any reason than the true one. (_Aside._)
+
+PHID. I knew he kept a mistress; knew it long
+Ere you did, Myrrhina; but I could never
+Think that offense so grievous in a youth,
+Seeing 'tis natural to them all: and soon
+The time shall come when he'll stand self-reprov'd.
+But you, perverse and willful as at first,
+Could take no rest till you had brought away
+Your daughter, and annull'd the match I made:
+There's not a circumstance but loudly speaks
+Your evil disposition to the marriage.
+
+MYRR. D'ye think me then so obstinate, that I,
+Who am her mother, should betray this spirit,
+Granting the match were of advantage to us?
+
+PHID. Is it for you then to foresee, or judge
+What's of advantage to us? You perhaps
+Have heard from some officious busy-body,
+That they have seen him going to his mistress,
+Or coming from her house: and what of that,
+So it were done discreetly, and but seldom?
+Were it not better that we should dissemble
+Our knowledge of it, than pry into things
+Which to appear to know would make him hate us?
+For could he tear her from his heart at once,
+To whom he'd been so many years attach'd,
+I should not think he were a man, or likely
+To prove a constant husband to my daughter.
+
+MYRR. No more of Pamphilus or my offense;
+Since you will have it so!--Go, find him out;
+Confer with him alone, and fairly ask him,
+Will he, or no, take back Philumena?
+If he avows his inclination to't,
+Restore her; but if he refuses it,
+Allow, I've ta'en good counsel for my child.
+
+PHID. Grant, he should prove repugnant to the match,
+Grant, you perceiv'd this in him, Myrrhina;
+Was not I present! had not I a right
+To be consulted in't?--It makes me mad.
+That you should dare to act without my order:
+And I forbid you to remove the child
+Out of this house.--But what a fool am I,
+Enjoining her obedience to my orders!
+I'll in, and charge the servants not to suffer
+The infant to be carried forth. (_Exit._
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _MYRRHINA alone._
+
+No woman more unhappy than myself:
+For how he'd bear it, did he know the whole,
+When he has taken such offense at this,
+Which is of much less consequence, is plain.
+Nor by what means to reconcile him to it,
+Can I devise. After so many ills,
+This only misery there yet remain'd,
+To be oblig'd to educate the child,
+Ignorant of the father's quality.
+For he, the cruel spoiler of her honor,
+Taking advantage of the night and darkness,
+My daughter was not able to discern
+His person; nor to force a token from him,
+Whereby he might be afterward discover'd:
+But he, at his departure, pluck'd by force
+A ring from off her finger.--I fear too,
+That Pamphilus will not contain himself,
+Nor longer keep our secret, when he finds
+Another's child acknowledg'd for his own. (_Exit._
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _SOSTRATA, PAMPHILUS._
+
+SOSTRA. Dear son, I'm not to learn that you suppose,
+Though you dissemble your suspicions to me,
+That my ill-humor caus'd your wife's departure.
+But by my trust in Heav'n, and hopes in you,
+I never knowingly did any thing
+To draw her hatred and disgust upon me.
+I always thought you lov'd me, and to-day
+You have confirm'd my faith: for even now
+Your father has been telling me within,
+How much you held me dearer than your love.
+Now therefore, on my part, I am resolv'd
+To equal you in all good offices;
+That you may know your mother ne'er withholds
+The just rewards of filial piety;
+Finding it then both meet for your repose,
+My Pamphilus, as well as my good name,
+I have determin'd to retire directly
+From hence into the country with your father;
+So shall my presence be no obstacle,
+Nor any cause remain, but that your wife
+Return immediately.
+
+PAM. What thoughts are these?
+Shall her perverseness drive you out of town?
+It shall not be: Nor will I draw, good mother,
+That censure on me, that my obstinacy,
+Not your good-nature, was the cause.--Besides,
+That you should quit relations, friends, diversions,
+On my account, I can't allow.
+
+SOSTRA. Alas!
+Those things have no allurements for me now.
+While I was young, and 'twas the season for them,
+I had my share, and I am satisfied.
+'Tis now my chief concern to make my age
+Easy to all, that no one may regret
+My lengthen'd life, nor languish for my death.
+Here, although undeservedly, I see
+My presence odious: I had best retire:
+So shall I best cut off all discontent,
+Absolve myself from this unjust suspicion,
+And humor them. Permit me then to shun
+The common scandal thrown upon the sex.
+
+PAM. How fortunate in every thing but one,
+Having so good a mother,--such a wife!
+
+SOSTRA. Patience, my Pamphilus! Is't possible
+You can't endure one inconvenience in her?
+If in all else, as I believe, you like her,
+Dear son, be rul'd by me, and take her home!
+
+PAM. Wretch that I am!
+
+SOSTRA. And I am wretched too:
+For this grieves me, my son, no less than you.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    Finding it then both meet for your repose,
+    My Pamphilus, as well as my good name
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Finding it then both meet, my Pamphilus,
+    For your repose, as well as my good name]
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _Enter LACHES._
+
+LACH. I have been standing at a distance, wife,
+And overheard your conversation with him.
+You have done wisely to subdue your temper,
+And freely to comply with what, perhaps,
+Hereafter must be done.
+
+SOSTRA. And let it be!
+
+LACH. Now then retire with me into the country:
+There I shall bear with you, and you with me.
+
+SOSTRA. I hope we shall.
+
+LACH. Go in then, and pack up
+The necessaries you would carry with you.
+Away!
+
+SOSTRA. I shall obey your orders. (_Exit._
+
+PAM. Father!
+
+LACH. Well, Pamphilus?
+
+PAM. My mother leave the town?
+By no means.
+
+LACH. Why?
+
+PAM. Because I'm yet uncertain
+What I shall do about my wife.
+
+LACH. How's that?
+What _would_ you do but take her home again?
+
+PAM. 'Tis what I wish for, and can scarce forbear it.
+But I'll not alter what I first design'd.
+What's best I'll follow: and I'm well convinc'd
+That there's no other way to make them friends,
+But that I should not take her home again.
+
+LACH. You don't know that: but 'tis of no importance
+Whether they're friends or not, when Sostrata
+Is gone into the country. We old folks
+Are odious to the young. We'd best retire.
+In short, we're grown a by-word, Pamphilus,
+"The old man and old woman."--But I see
+Phidippus coming in good time. Let's meet him!
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    PAM. 'Tis what I wish for, and can scarce forbear it.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PAM. 'Tis what I wish for, and can scarce forbear.
+
+  _Harper_
+    That there's no other way to make them friends
+  _Colman 1768_
+    No other means remain to make them friends]
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _Enter PHIDIPPUS._
+
+PHID. (_to PHILUMENA within_). I'm angry with you--'fore Heaven, very
+    angry,
+Philumena!--You've acted shamefully.
+Though you indeed have some excuse for't, seeing
+Your mother urg'd you to't; but she has none.
+
+LACH. You're come upon us in good time, Phidippus;
+Just in the time we wanted you.
+
+PHID. What now?
+
+PAM. What answer shall I give them! how explain? (_Aside._)
+
+LACH. Inform your daughter, Sostrata will hence
+Into the country; so Philumena
+Need not dread coming home again.
+
+PHID. Ah, friend!
+Your wife has never been in fault at all:
+All this has sprung from my wife Myrrhina.
+The case is alter'd. She confounds us, Laches.
+
+PAM. So that I may not take her home again,
+Confound affairs who will! (_Aside._)
+
+PHID. I, Pamphilus,
+Would fain, if possible, make this alliance
+Perpetual between our families.
+But if you can not like it, take the child.
+
+PAM. He knows of her delivery. Confusion! (_Aside._)
+
+LACH. The child! what child?
+
+PHID. We've got a grandson, Laches.
+For when my daughter left your house, she was
+With child, it seems, although I never knew it
+Before this very day.
+
+LACH. 'Fore Heav'n, good news!
+And I rejoice to hear a child is born,
+And that your daughter had a safe delivery.
+But what a woman is your wife, Phidippus?
+Of what a disposition? to conceal
+Such an event as this? I can't express
+How much I think she was to blame.
+
+PHID. This pleases me no more than you, good Laches.
+
+PAM. Although my mind was in suspense before,
+My doubts all vanish now. I'll ne'er recall her,
+Since she brings home with her another's child. (_Aside._)
+
+LACH. There is no room for choice now, Pamphilus.
+
+PAM. Confusion! (_Aside._)
+
+LACH. We've oft wish'd to see the day
+When you should have a child to call you father.
+That day's now come. The Gods be thank'd!
+
+PAM. Undone! (_Aside._)
+
+LACH. Recall your wife, and don't oppose my will.
+
+PAM. If she had wish'd for children by me, father,
+Or to remain my wife, I'm very sure
+She never would have hid this matter from me:
+But now I see her heart divorc'd from me,
+And think we never can agree hereafter,
+Wherefore should I recall her?
+
+LACH. A young woman
+Did as her mother had persuaded her.
+Is that so wonderful? and do you think
+To find a woman without any fault?
+--Or is't because the _men_ are ne'er to blame? (_Ironically._)
+
+PHID. Consider with yourselves then, gentlemen,
+Whether you'll part with her, or call her home.
+What my wife does, I can not help, you know.
+Settle it as you please, you've my consent,
+But for the child, what shall be done with him?
+
+LACH. A pretty question truly! come what may,
+Send his own bantling home to him of course,
+That we may educate him.
+
+PAM. When his own
+Father abandons him, I educate him?
+
+LACH. What said you? how! not educate him, say you?
+Shall we expose him rather, Pamphilus?
+What madness is all this?--My breath and blood!
+I can contain no longer. You oblige me
+To speak, against my will, before Phidippus:
+Think you I'm ignorant whence flow those tears?
+Or why you're thus disorder'd and distress'd?
+First, when you gave as a pretense, _you could not
+Recall your wife from reverence to your mother_,
+She promis'd to retire into the country.
+But now, since that excuse is taken from you,
+You've made _her private lying-in_ another.
+You are mistaken if you think me blind
+To your intentions--That you might at last
+Bring home your stray affections to your wife,
+How long a time to wean you from your mistress
+Did I allow? your wild expense upon her
+How patiently I bore? I press'd, entreated,
+That you would take a wife. 'Twas time, I said.
+At my repeated instances, you married,
+And, as in duty bound to do, complied:
+But now your heart is gone abroad again
+After your mistress, whom to gratify,
+You throw this wanton insult on your wife.
+For I can plainly see you are relaps'd
+Into your former life again.
+
+PAM. Me?
+
+LACH. You.
+And 'tis base in you to invent false causes
+Of quarrel with your wife, that you may live
+In quiet with your mistress, having put
+This witness from you. This your wife perceiv'd.
+For was there any other living reason
+Wherefore she should depart from you?
+
+PHID. He's right,
+That was the very thing.
+
+PAM. I'll take my oath
+'Twas none of those that you have mention'd.
+
+LACH. Ah!
+Recall your wife: or tell me why you will not.
+
+PAM. 'Tis not convenient now.
+
+LACH. Take home the child then;
+For _he_ at least is not in fault. I'll see
+About the mother afterward.
+
+PAM. (_to himself_). Ev'ry way
+I am a wretch, nor know I what to do:
+My father has me in the toils, and I,
+By struggling to get loose, am more entangled.
+I'll hence, since present I shall profit little.
+For I believe they'll hardly educate
+The child against my will; especially
+Seeing my step-mother will second me. (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    How much I think she was to blame.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    How very much I think she was to blame.]
+
+
+SCENE VII.
+
+  _Manent PHIDIPPUS, LACHES._
+
+LACH. Going? how's that? and give me no plain answer!
+--D'ye think he's in his senses?--Well--send home
+The child to me, Phidippus. I'll take care on't.
+
+PHID. I will.--I can not wonder that my wife
+Took this so ill. Women are passionate,
+And can't away with such affronts as these.
+This was their quarrel: nay she told me so,
+Though before him I did not care to speak on't:
+Nor did I credit it at first; but now
+'Tis evident, and I can plainly see
+He has no stomach to a wife.
+
+LACH. Phidippus,
+How shall I act? What's your advice?
+
+PHID. How act?
+I think 'twere best to seek this wench, his mistress.
+Let us expostulate the matter with her,
+Speak to her roundly, nay, e'en threaten her,
+If she has aught to do with him hereafter.
+
+LACH. I'll follow your advice.--Ho, boy! (_Enter a boy_) run over
+To Bacchis. Tell her to come forth to me. (_Exit boy._
+--I must beseech you also to continue
+Your kind assistance to me in this business.
+
+PHID. Ah, Laches! I have told you all along.
+And I repeat it now, that 'tis my wish
+To render our alliance firm and lasting,
+If possible, as I have hopes it will be.
+--But would you have me present at your conference
+With Bacchis?
+
+LACH. No; go, seek the child a nurse. (_Exit PHIDIPPUS._
+
+
+SCENE VIII.
+
+  _Enter BACCHIS attended by her Women._
+
+BACCH. (_to herself_). 'Tis not for nothing Laches wants to see me;
+And, or I'm much deceiv'd, I guess the cause.
+
+LACH. (_to himself_). I must take care my anger don't transport me
+Beyond the bounds of prudence, which may hinder
+My gaining my design on her, and urge me
+To do what I may afterward repent.
+I'll to her.-- (_Going up._) Save you, Bacchis!
+
+BACCH. Save you, Laches!
+
+LACH. Bacchis, I do not doubt but you're surpris'd
+That I should send the boy to call you forth.
+
+BACCH. Aye, and I'm fearful too, when I reflect
+Both who and what I am: lest my vocation
+Should prejudice me in your good opinion.
+My conduct I can fully justify.
+
+LACH. If you speak truth, you're in no danger, woman.
+For I'm arriv'd at that age when a trespass
+Would not be easily forgiven in me.
+Wherefore I study to proceed with caution,
+And to do nothing rashly. If you act,
+And will continue to act honestly,
+It were ungenerous to do you wrong,
+And seeing you deserve it not, unjust.
+
+BACCH. Truly, this conduct asks my highest thanks;
+For he who does the wrong, and then asks pardon,
+Makes but a sorry reparation for it.
+But what's your pleasure?
+
+LACH. You receive the visits
+Of my son Pamphilus----
+
+BACCH. Ah!----
+
+LACH. Let me speak.
+Before he married I endur'd your love.
+--Stay! I've not finish'd all I have to say.----
+He is now married. You then, while 'tis time,
+Seek out another and more constant friend.
+For he will not be fond of you forever,
+Nor you, good faith, forever in your bloom.
+
+BACCH. Who tells you that I still receive the visits
+Of Pamphilus?
+
+LACH. His step-mother.
+
+BACCH. I?
+
+LACH. You.
+And therefore has withdrawn her daughter: therefore
+Meant secretly to kill the new-born child.
+
+BACCH. Did I know any thing, to gain your credit,
+More sacred than an oath, I'd use it, Laches,
+In solemn protestation to assure you
+That I have had no commerce with your son
+Since he was married.
+
+LACH. Good girl! but dy'e know
+What I would farther have you do?
+
+BACCH. Inform me.
+
+LACH. Go to the women here, and offer them
+The same oath. Satisfy their minds, and clear
+Yourself from all reproach in this.
+
+BACCH. I'll do't;
+Although I'm sure no other of my calling
+Would show herself before a married woman
+Upon the same occasion.--But it hurts me
+To see your son suspected on false grounds;
+And that, to those who owe him better thoughts,
+His conduct should seem light. For he deserves
+All my best offices.
+
+LACH. Your conversation has much wrought upon me,
+Gain'd my good-will, and alter'd my opinion.
+For not the women only thought thus of you,
+But I believ'd it too. Now therefore, since
+I've found you better than my expectation,
+Prove still the same, and make my friendship sure.
+If otherwise--But I'll contain myself. I'll not
+Say any thing severe.--But I advise you,
+Rather experience what a friend I am,
+Than what an enemy.
+
+BACCH. I'll do my best.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    LACH. If you speak truth, you're in no danger, woman.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    LACH. Speak but the truth, you're in no danger, woman.]
+
+
+SCENE IX.
+
+  _Enter PHIDIPPUS and a Nurse._
+
+PHID. (_to the Nurse_). Nay, you shall want for nothing at my house;
+I'll give you all that's needful in abundance;
+But when you've eat and drank your fill yourself,
+Take care to satisfy the infant too.
+
+LACH. I see the father of Philumena
+Coming this way. He brings the child a nurse.
+--Phidippus, Bacchis swears most solemnly----
+
+PHID. Is this she?
+
+LACH. Aye.
+
+PHID. They never mind the Gods,
+Nor do I think the Gods mind them.
+
+BACCH. Here are
+My waiting-women: take them, and extort
+By any kind of torment the truth from them.
+--Our present business is, I take it, this:
+That I should win the wife of Pamphilus
+To return home; which so I but effect,
+I sha'n't regret the same of having done
+What others of my calling would avoid.
+
+LACH. Phidippus, we've discover'd that in fact
+We both suspected our wives wrongfully.
+Let's now try her: for if your wife perceives
+Her own suspicions also are unjust,
+She'll drop her anger. If my son's offended
+Because his wife conceal'd her labor from him,
+That's but a trifle; he'll be soon appeas'd.
+--And truly I see nothing in this matter
+That need occasion a divorce.
+
+PHID. 'Fore Heaven,
+I wish that all may end well.
+
+LACH. Here she is:
+Examine her; she'll give you satisfaction.
+
+PHID. What needs all this to Me! You know my mind
+Already, Laches: do but make them easy.
+
+LACH. Bacchis, be sure you keep your promise with me.
+
+BACCH. Shall I go in then for that purpose?
+
+LACH. Aye.
+Go in; remove their doubts, and satisfy them.
+
+BACCH. I will; although I'm very sure my presence
+Will be unwelcome to them; for a wife,
+When parted from her husband, to a mistress
+Is a sure enemy.
+
+LACH. They'll be your friends,
+When once they know the reason of your coming.
+
+PHID. Aye, aye, they'll be your friends, I promise you,
+When they once learn your errand; for you'll free
+Them from mistake, yourself from all suspicion.
+
+BACCH. I'm cover'd with confusion. I'm asham'd
+To see Philumena.-- (_To her women._) You two in after me.
+                            (_Exeunt PHIDIPPUS, BACCHIS, etc._
+
+_LACHES alone._
+
+What is there that could please me more than this,
+That Bacchis, without any loss, should gain
+Favor from them, and do me service too?
+For if she really has withdrawn herself
+From Pamphilus, it will increase, she knows,
+Her reputation, interest, and honor:
+Since by this generous act she will at once
+Oblige my son, and make us all her friends. (_Exit._
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FIFTH.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _PARMENO alone._
+
+I' faith my master holds my labor cheap,
+To send me to the Citadel for nothing,
+Where I have waited the whole day in vain
+For his Myconian, Callidemides.
+There was I sitting, gaping like a fool,
+And running up, if any one appear'd,
+--"Are you, Sir, a Myconian?"--"No, not I."----
+--"But your name's Callidemides?"--"Not it."----
+"And have not you a guest here of the name
+Of Pamphilus?"--All answer'd, No.
+In short, I don't believe there's such a man.
+At last I grew asham'd, and so sneak'd off.
+--But is't not Bacchis that I see come forth
+From our new kinsman? What can she do there?
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    Of Pamphilus?"--All answer'd, No.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Of Pamphilus?"--No--no--All No.]
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter BACCHIS._
+
+BACCH. Oh Parmeno, I'm glad I've met with you.
+Run quick to Pamphilus.
+
+PAR. On what account?
+
+BACCH. Tell him that I desire he'd come.
+
+PAR. To you?
+
+BACCH. No; to Philumena.
+
+PAR. Why? what's the matter?
+
+BACCH. Nothing to you; so ask no questions.
+
+PAR. Must I
+Say nothing else?
+
+BACCH. Yes; tell him too,
+That Myrrhina acknowledges the ring,
+Which formerly he gave me, as her daughter's.
+
+PAR. I understand you. But is that all?
+
+BACCH. All.
+He'll come the moment that you tell him that.
+What! do you loiter?
+
+PAR. No, i' faith, not I.
+I have not had it in my pow'r, I've been
+So bandied to and fro, sent here and there,
+Trotting, and running up and down all day. (_Exit._
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _BACCHIS alone._
+
+What joy have I procur'd to Pamphilus
+By coming here to-day! what blessings brought him!
+And from how many sorrows rescued him!
+His son, by his and their means nearly lost,
+I've sav'd; a wife he meant to put away,
+I have restor'd; and from the strong suspicions
+Of Laches and Phidippus set him free.
+--Of all these things the ring has been the cause.
+For I remember, near ten months ago,
+That he came running home to me one evening,
+Breathless, alone, and much inflam'd with wine,
+Bringing this ring. I was alarm'd at it.
+"Prithee, my dearest Pamphilus, said I,
+Whence comes all this confusion? whence this ring?
+Tell me, my love."--He put me off at first:
+Perceiving this, it made me apprehend
+Something of serious import, and I urg'd him
+More earnestly to tell me.--He confess'd
+That, as he came along, he had committed
+A rape upon a virgin--whom he knew not----
+And as she struggled, forc'd from her that ring:
+Which Myrrhina now seeing on my finger,
+Immediately acknowledg'd, and inquir'd
+How I came by it. I told all this story:
+Whence 'twas discover'd that Philumena
+Was she who had been ravish'd, and the child
+Conceiv'd from that encounter.--That I've been
+The instrument of all these joys I'm glad,
+Though other courtesans would not be so;
+Nor is it for our profit and advantage
+That lovers should be happy in their marriage.
+But never will I, for my calling's sake,
+Suffer ingratitude to taint my mind.
+I found him, while occasion gave him leave,
+Kind, pleasant, and good-humor'd: and this marriage
+Happen'd unluckily, I must confess.
+Yet I did nothing to estrange his love;
+And since I have receiv'd much kindness from him,
+'Tis fit I should endure this one affliction.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    I've sav'd; a wife he meant to put away
+  _Colman 1768_
+    I sav'd; a wife he meant to put away]
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Enter at a distance PAMPHILUS and PARMENO._
+
+PAM. Be sure you prove this to me, Parmeno;
+Prithee, be sure on't. Do not bubble me
+With false and short-liv'd joy.
+
+PAR. 'Tis even so.
+
+PAM. For certain?
+
+PAR. Aye, for certain.
+
+PAM. I'm in heaven,
+If this be so.
+
+PAR. You'll find it very true.
+
+PAM. Hold, I beseech you.--I'm afraid I think
+One thing, while you relate another.
+
+PAR. Well?
+
+PAM. You said, I think, "that Myrrhina discover'd
+The ring on Bacchis' finger was her own."
+
+PAR. She did.
+
+PAM. "The same I gave her formerly.
+--And Bacchis bade you run and tell me this."
+Is it not so?
+
+PAR. I tell you, Sir, it is.
+
+PAM. Who is more fortunate, more bless'd than I?
+--What shall I give you for this news? what? what?
+I don't know.
+
+PAR. But I know.
+
+PAM. What?
+
+PAR. Just nothing.
+For I see nothing of advantage to you,
+Or in the message, or myself.
+
+PAM. Shall I
+Permit you to go unrewarded; you,
+Who have restor'd me ev'n from death to life?
+Ah, Parmeno, d'ye think me so ungrateful?
+--But yonder's Bacchis standing at the door.
+She waits for me, I fancy. I'll go to her.
+
+BACCH. (_seeing him_). Pamphilus, save you.
+
+PAM. Bacchis! my dear Bacchis!
+My guardian! my protectress!
+
+BACCH. All is well:
+And I'm o'erjoy'd at it.
+
+PAM. Your actions speak it.
+You're still the charming girl I ever found you.
+Your presence, company, and conversation,
+Come where you will, bring joy and pleasure with them.
+
+BACCH. And you, in faith, are still the same as ever,
+The sweetest, most engaging man on earth.
+
+PAM. Ha! ha! ha! that speech from you, dear Bacchis?
+
+BACCH. You lov'd your wife with reason, Pamphilus:
+Never that I remember, did I see her
+Before to-day; and she's a charming woman.
+
+PAM. Speak truth.
+
+BACCH. So Heaven help me, Pamphilus!
+
+PAM. Say, have you told my father any part
+Of this tale?
+
+BACCH. Not a word.
+
+PAM. Nor is there need.
+Let all be hush! I would not have it here,
+As in a comedy, where every thing
+Is known to every body. Here those persons
+Whom it concerns already know it; they,
+Who 'twere not meet should know it, never shall.
+
+BACCH. I promise you it may with ease be hid.
+Myrrhina told Phidippus that my oath
+Convinc'd her, and she held you clear.
+
+PAM. Good! good!
+All will be well, and all, I hope, end well.
+
+PAR. May I know, Sir, what good I've done to-day?
+And what's the meaning of your conversation?
+
+PAM. No.
+
+PAR. I suspect, however.--"I restore him
+From death to life"--which way?----
+
+PAM. Oh, Parmeno,
+You can't conceive the good you've done to-day;
+From what distress you have deliver'd me.
+
+PAR. Ah, but I know, and did it with design.
+
+PAM. Oh, I'm convinced of that. (_Ironically._)
+
+PAR. Did Parmeno
+Ever let slip an opportunity
+Of doing what he ought, Sir?
+
+PAM. Parmeno,
+In after me!
+
+PAR. I follow.--By my troth,
+I've done more good to-day, without design,
+Than ever with design in all my life.----
+Clap your hands!
+
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+           *       *       *       *
+
+
+PHORMIO.
+
+
+PERSONS REPRESENTED.
+
+  PROLOGUE.
+  DEMIPHO.
+  CHREMES.
+  ANTIPHO.
+  PHÆDRIA.
+  CRATINUS.
+  CRITO.
+  HEGIO.
+  PHORMIO.
+  DORIO.
+  GETA.
+  DAVUS, _and other Servants._
+
+  NAUSISTRATA.
+  SOPHRONA.
+
+SCENE, ATHENS.
+
+
+
+
+PROLOGUE.
+
+The Old Bard finding it impossible
+To draw our Poet from the love of verse,
+And bury him in indolence, attempts
+By calumny to scare him from the stage;
+Pretending that in all his former plays
+The characters are low, and mean the style;
+Because he ne'er describ'd a mad-brain'd youth,
+Who in his fits of frenzy thought he saw
+A hind, the dogs in full cry after her;
+Her too imploring and beseeching him
+To give her aid.--But did he understand
+That, when the piece was first produc'd, it ow'd
+More to the actor than himself its safety,
+He would not be thus bold to give offense.
+--But if there's any one who says, or thinks,
+"That had not the Old Bard assail'd him first,
+Our Poet could not have devis'd a Prologue,
+Having no matter for abuse;"--let such
+Receive for answer, "that although the prize
+To all advent'rers is held out in common,
+The Veteran Poet meant to drive our Bard
+From study into want: _He_ therefore chose
+To answer, though he would not first offend.
+And had his adversary but have prov'd
+A generous rival, he had had due praise;
+Let him then bear these censures, and reflect
+Of his own slanders 'tis the due return.
+But henceforth I shall cease to speak of him,
+Although he ceases not himself to rail."
+But now what I'd request of you, attend:
+To-day I bring a new play, which the Greeks
+Call Epidicazomenos; the Latins,
+From the chief character, name Phormio:
+Phormio, whom you will find a parasite,
+And the chief engine of the plot.--And now,
+If to our Poet you are well inclin'd,
+Give ear; be favorable; and be silent!
+Let us not meet the same ill fortune now
+That we before encounter'd, when our troop
+Was by a tumult driven from their place;
+To which the actor's merit, seconded
+By your good-will and candor, has restor'd us.
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FIRST.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _DAVUS alone._
+
+Geta, my worthy friend and countryman,
+Came to me yesterday: for some time past
+I've ow'd him some small balance of account:
+This he desir'd I would make up: I have;
+And brought it with me: for his master's son,
+I am inform'd, has lately got a wife:
+So I suppose this sum is scrap'd together
+For a bride-gift. Alack, how hard it is
+That he, who is already poor, should still
+Throw in his mite to swell the rich man's heap!
+What he scarce, ounce by ounce, from short allowance,
+Sorely defrauding his own appetite,
+Has spar'd, poor wretch! shall she sweep all at once,
+Unheeding with what labor it was got?
+Geta, moreover, shall be struck for more;
+Another gift, when madam's brought to bed;
+Another too, when master's birthday's kept,
+And they initiate him.----All this mamma
+Shall carry off, the bantling her excuse.
+But is that Geta?
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter GETA._
+
+GETA (_at entering._) If a red-hair'd man
+Inquire for me----
+
+DAVUS. No more! he's here.
+
+GETA. Oh, Davus!
+The very man that I was going after.
+
+DAVUS. Here, take this! (_Gives a purse._) 'Tis all told: you'll find
+    it right;
+The sum I ow'd you.
+
+GETA. Honest, worthy Davus!
+I thank you for your punctuality.
+
+DAVUS. And well you may, as men and times go now,
+Things, by my troth, are come to such a pass,
+If a man pays you what he owes, you're much
+Beholden to him.--But, pray, why so sad?
+
+GETA. I?--You can scarce imagine in what dread.
+What danger I am in.
+
+DAVUS. How so?
+
+GETA. I'll tell you,
+So you will keep it secret.
+
+DAVUS. Away, fool!
+The man whose faith in money you have tried,
+D'ye fear to trust with words?--And to what end
+Should I deceive you?
+
+GETA. List, then!
+
+DAVUS. I'm all ear.
+
+GETA. D'ye know our old man's elder brother, Chremes?
+
+DAVUS. Know him? aye, sure.
+
+GETA. You do?--And his son Phædria?
+
+DAVUS. As well as I know you.
+
+GETA. It so fell out,
+Both the old men were forc'd to journey forth
+At the same season. He to Lemnos, ours
+Into Cilicia, to an old acquaintance
+Who had decoy'd the old curmudgeon thither
+By wheedling letters, almost promising
+Mountains of gold.
+
+DAVUS. To one that had so much
+More than enough already?
+
+GETA. Prithee, peace!
+Money's his passion.
+
+DAVUS. Oh, would I had been
+A man of fortune, I!
+
+GETA. At their departure,
+The two old gentlemen appointed me
+A kind of governor to both their sons.
+
+DAVUS. A hard task, Geta!
+
+GETA. Troth, I found it so.
+My angry Genius for my sins ordain'd it.
+At first I took upon me to oppose:
+In short, while I was trusty to th' old man,
+The young one made my shoulders answer for it.
+
+DAVUS. So I suppose: for what a foolish task
+To kick against the pricks!
+
+GETA. I then resolv'd
+To give them their own way in every thing.
+
+DAVUS. Aye, then you made your market.
+
+GETA. Our young spark
+Play'd no mad pranks at first: but Phædria
+Got him immediately a music-girl:
+Fond of her to distraction! she belong'd
+To a most avaricious, sordid pimp;
+Nor had we aught to give;--th' old gentleman
+Had taken care of that. Naught else remain'd,
+Except to feed his eyes, to follow her,
+To lead her out to school, and hand her home.
+We too, for lack of other business, gave
+Our time to Phædria. Opposite the school,
+Whither she went to take her lessons, stood
+A barber's shop, wherein most commonly
+We waited her return. Hither one day
+Came a young man in tears: we were amaz'd,
+And ask'd the cause. Never (said he, and wept)
+Did I suppose the weight of poverty
+A load so sad, _so_ insupportable,
+As it appear'd but now.--I saw but now,
+Not far from hence, a miserable virgin
+Lamenting her dead mother. Near the corpse
+She sat; nor friend, nor kindred, nor acquaintance,
+Except one poor old woman, was there near
+To aid the funeral. I pitied her:
+Her beauty, too, was exquisite.--In short,
+He mov'd us all: and Antipho at once
+Cried, "Shall we go and visit her?"--Why, aye,
+"I think so," said the other; "let us go!"
+"Conduct us, if you please."--We went, arriv'd.
+And saw her.--Beautiful she was indeed!
+More justly to be reckon'd so, for she
+Had no additions to set off her beauty.
+Her hair dishevel'd, barefoot, woe-begone,
+In tears, and miserably clad: that if
+The life and soul of beauty had not dwelt
+Within her very form, all these together
+Must have extinguish'd it.--The spark, possess'd
+Already with the music-girl, just cried,
+"She's well enough."--But our young gentleman----
+
+DAVUS. Fell, I suppose, in love.
+
+GETA. In love, indeed.
+But mark the end! next day, away he goes
+To the old woman straight, beseeching her
+To let him have the girl.--"Not she, indeed!
+Nor was it like a gentleman," she said,
+"For him to think on't: She's a citizen,
+An honest girl, and born of honest parents:----
+If he would marry her indeed, by law
+He might do _that_; on no account, aught else."
+--Our spark, distracted, knew not what to do:
+At once he long'd to marry her, at once
+Dreaded his absent father.
+
+DAVUS. Would not he,
+Had he return'd, have giv'n consent?
+
+GETA. To wed
+A girl of neither family nor fortune?
+Never.
+
+DAVUS. What then?
+
+GETA. What then! There is a parasite,
+One Phormio, a bold, enterprising fellow,
+Who--all the Gods confound him!----
+
+DAVUS. What did he?
+
+GETA. Gave us the following counsel.--"There's a law
+That orphan Girls should wed their next of kin,
+Which law obliges too their next of kin
+To marry them."--I'll say that you're her kinsman,
+And sue a writ against you. I'll pretend
+To be her father's friend, and bring the cause
+Before the judges. Who her father was,
+Her mother who, and how she's your relation,
+All this sham evidence I'll forge; by which
+The cause will turn entirely in my favor.
+You shall disprove no tittle of the charge;
+So I succeed.--Your father will return;
+Prosecute me;--what then?--The girl's our own."
+
+DAVUS. A pleasant piece of impudence!
+
+GETA. It pleas'd
+Our spark at least: he put it into practice;
+Came into court; and he was cast; and married.
+
+DAVUS. How say you?
+
+GETA. Just as you have heard.
+
+DAVUS. Oh Geta,
+What will become of you?
+
+GETA. I don't know, faith.
+But only this I know, what'er chance brings,
+I'll patiently endure.
+
+DAVUS. Why, that's well said,
+And like a man.
+
+GETA. All my dependence is
+Upon myself.
+
+DAVUS. And that's the best.
+
+GETA. I might
+Beg one indeed to intercede for me,
+Who may plead thus--"Nay, pardon him this once!
+But if he fails again, I've not a word
+To say for him."--And well if he don't add,
+"When I go hence e'en hang him!"
+
+DAVUS. What of him,
+Gentleman-usher to the music-girl?
+How goes he on?
+
+GETA. So, so!
+
+DAVUS. He has not much
+To give, perhaps.
+
+GETA. Just nothing, but mere hope.
+
+DAVUS. His father too, is he return'd?
+
+GETA. Not yet.
+
+DAVUS. Nor your old man, when do you look for him?
+
+GETA. I don't know certainly: but I have heard
+That there's a letter from him come to port,
+Which I am going for.
+
+DAVUS. Would you aught else
+With me, good Geta?
+
+GETA. Nothing, but farewell! (_Exit DAVUS._
+Ho, boy! what, nobody at home! (_Enter boy._) Take this
+And give it Dorcium. (_Gives the Purse, and Exit._)
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  To marry them."
+  _close quote missing in Harper text_
+
+    You shall disprove no tittle of the charge
+  _Harper text reads "no title"_]
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _ANTIPHO, PHÆDRIA._
+
+ANT. Is it come to this?
+My father, Phædria!--my best friend!--That I
+Should tremble, when I think of his return!
+When, had I not been inconsiderate,
+I, as 'tis meet, might have expected him.
+
+PHÆD. What now?
+
+ANT. Is that a question? and from you?
+Who know the atrocious fault I have committed?
+Oh, that it ne'er had enter'd Phormio's mind
+To give such counsel! nor to urge me on,
+In the extravagance of blind desire,
+To this rash act, the source of my misfortunes!
+I should not have possess'd her: that indeed
+Had made me wretched some few days.--But then
+This constant anguish had not torn my mind.----
+
+PHÆD. I hear you.
+
+ANT. --While each moment I expect
+His coming to divorce me.
+
+PHÆD. Other men,
+For lack of what they love, are miserable;
+Abundance is your grievance. You're too rich
+A lover, Antipho! For your condition
+Is to be wish'd and pray'd for. Now, by Heaven,
+Might I, so long as you have done, enjoy
+My love, it were bought cheaply with my life.
+How hard my lot, unsatisfied, unbless'd!
+How happy yours, in full possession!--One
+Of lib'ral birth, ingenuous disposition,
+And honest fame, without expense, you've got:
+The wife, whom you desir'd!--in all things bless'd,
+But want the disposition to believe so.
+Had you, like me, a scoundrel pimp to deal with,
+Then you'd perceive--But sure 'tis in our nature
+Never to be contented.
+
+ANT. Now to me,
+Phædria, 'tis you appear the happy man.
+Still quite at large, free to consider still,
+To keep, pursue, or quit her: I, alas!
+Have so entangled and perplex'd myself,
+That I can neither keep nor let her go.
+--What now? isn't that our Geta, whom I see
+Running this way?--'Tis he himself-- Ah me,
+How do I fear what news he brings!
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Enter at a distance _GETA, _running._
+
+GETA. Confusion!
+A quick thought, Geta, or you're quite undone,
+So many evils take you unprepar'd;
+Which I know neither how to shun nor how
+To extricate myself: for this bold stroke
+Of ours can't long be hid.
+
+ANT. What's this confusion?
+
+GETA. Then I have scarce a moment's time to think.
+My master is arriv'd.
+
+ANT. What mischief's that?
+
+GETA. Who, when he shall have heard it, by what art
+Shall I appease his anger?--Shall I speak?
+'Twill irritate him.--Hold my peace?--enrage him.----
+Defend myself?--impossible?--Oh, wretch!
+Now for myself in pain, now Antipho
+Distracts my mind.--But him I pity most;
+For him I fear; 'tis he retains me here:
+For, were it not for him, I'd soon provide
+For my own safety--aye, and be reveng'd
+On the old graybeard--carry something off,
+And show my master a light pair of heels.
+
+ANT. What scheme to rob and run away is this?
+
+GETA. But where shall I find Antipho? where seek him?
+
+PHÆD. He mentions you.
+
+ANT. I know not what, but doubt
+That he's the messenger of some ill news.
+
+PHÆD. Have you your wits?
+
+GETA. I'll home: he's chiefly there.
+
+PHÆD. Let's call him back!
+
+ANT. Holloa, you! stop!
+
+GETA. Heyday!
+Authority enough, be who you will.
+
+ANT. Geta!
+
+GETA (_turning_). The very man I wish'd to meet!
+
+ANT. Tell us, what news?--in one word, if you can.
+
+GETA. I'll do it.
+
+ANT. Speak!
+
+GETA. This moment at the port----
+
+ANT. My father?
+
+GETA. Even so.
+
+ANT. Undone!
+
+PHÆD. Heyday!
+
+ANT. What shall I do?
+
+PHÆD. What say you? (_To GETA._)
+
+GETA. That I've seen
+His father, Sir,--your uncle.
+
+ANT. How shall I,
+Wretch that I am! oppose this sudden evil!
+Should I be so unhappy to be torn
+From thee, my Phanium, life's not worth my care.
+
+GETA. Since that's the case then, Antipho, you ought
+To be the more upon your guard.
+
+ANT. Alas!
+I'm not myself.
+
+GETA. But now you should be most so, Antipho.
+For if your father should discern your fear,
+He'll think you conscious of a fault.
+
+PHÆD. That's true.
+
+ANT. I can not help it, nor seem otherwise.
+
+GETA. How would you manage in worse difficulties?
+
+ANT. Since I'm not equal to bear this, to those
+I should be more unequal.
+
+GETA. This is nothing.
+Pooh, Phædria, let him go! why waste our time?
+I will be gone. (_Going._)
+
+PHÆD. And I. (_Going._)
+
+ANT. Nay, prithee, stay!
+What if I should dissemble?--Will that do?
+
+(_Endeavoring to assume another air._
+
+GETA. Ridiculous!
+
+ANT. Nay, look at me! will that
+Suffice?
+
+GETA. Not it.
+
+ANT. Or this?
+
+GETA. Almost.
+
+ANT. Or this?
+
+GETA. Aye! now you've hit it. Do but stick to that;
+Answer him boldly; give him hit for dash,
+Nor let him bear you down with angry words.
+
+ANT. I understand you.
+
+GETA. "Forc'd"--"against your will"----
+"By law"--"by sentence of the court"--d'ye take me?
+--But what old gentleman is that I see
+At t'other end o' th' street?
+
+ANT. 'Tis he himself.
+I dare not face him. (_Going._)
+
+GETA. Ah! what is't you do?
+Where d'ye run, Antipho! stay, stay, I say.
+
+ANT. I know myself and my offense too well:
+To you, then, I commend my life and love. (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    At t'other end o' th' street?
+    ANT. 'Tis he himself.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Turning the corner of the street?
+    ANT. 'Tis he.]
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _Manent PHÆDRIA and GETA._
+
+PHÆD. Geta, what now?
+
+GETA. You shall be roundly chid;
+I soundly drubb'd; or I am much deceiv'd.
+--But what e'en now we counsel'd Antipho,
+It now behooves ourselves to practice, Phædria.
+
+PHÆD. Talk not of what behooves, but say at once
+What you would have me do.
+
+GETA. Do you remember
+The plea whereon you both agreed to rest,
+At your first vent'ring on this enterprise?
+"That Phormio's suit was just, sure, equitable,
+Not to be controverted."----
+
+PHÆD. I remember.
+
+GETA. Now then that plea! or, if it's possible,
+One better or more plausible.
+
+PHÆD. I'll do't.
+
+GETA. Do you attack him first! I'll lie in ambush,
+To reinforce you, if you give ground.
+
+PHÆD. Well. (_They retire._)
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _Enter DEMIPHO at another part of the stage._
+
+DEM. How's this? a wife! what, Antipho! and ne'er
+Ask my consent?--nor my authority----
+Or, grant we pass authority, not dread
+My wrath at least?--To have no sense of shame?
+--Oh, impudence!--Oh, Geta, rare adviser!
+
+GETA. Geta at last.
+
+DEM. What they will say to me,
+Or what excuse they will devise, I wonder.
+
+GETA. Oh, we have settled that already: think
+Of something else.
+
+DEM. Will he say this to me,
+--"Against my will I did it"--"Forc'd by law"----
+--I hear you: I confess it.
+
+GETA. Very well.
+
+DEM. But conscious of the fraud, without a word
+In answer or defense, to yield the cause
+Tamely to your opponents--did the law
+Force you to _that_ too?
+
+PHÆD. That's home.
+
+GETA. Give me leave.
+I'll manage it.
+
+DEM. I know not what to do:
+This stroke has come so unawares upon me,
+Beyond all expectation, past belief.
+--I'm so enrag'd, I can't compose my mind
+To think upon it.--Wherefore ev'ry man,
+When his affairs go on most swimmingly,
+Ev'n then it most behooves to arm himself
+Against the coming storm: loss, danger, exile,
+Returning ever let him look to meet;
+His son in fault, wife dead, or daughter sick----
+All common accidents, and may have happen'd;
+That nothing should seem new or strange. But if
+Aught has fall'n out beyond his hopes, all that
+Let him account clear gain.
+
+GETA. Oh, Phædria,
+'Tis wonderful how much a wiser man
+I am than my old master. My misfortunes
+I have consider'd well.--At his return
+Doom'd to grind ever in the mill, beat, chain'd,
+Or set to labor in the fields; of these
+Nothing will happen new. If aught falls out
+Beyond my hopes, all that I'll count clear gain.
+--But why delay t'accost th' old gentleman,
+And speak him fair at first? (_PHÆDRIA goes forward._)
+
+DEM. Methinks I see
+My nephew Phædria.
+
+PHÆD. My good Uncle, welcome!
+
+DEM. Your servant!--But where's Antipho?
+
+PHÆD. I'm glad
+To see you safe----
+
+DEM. Well, well!--But answer me.
+
+PHÆD. He's well: hard by.--But have affairs turn'd out
+According to your wishes?
+
+DEM. Would they had!
+
+PHÆD. Why, what's the matter?
+
+DEM. What's the matter, Phædria?
+You've clapp'd up a fine marriage in my absence.
+
+PHÆD. What! are you angry with him about that?
+
+GETA. Well counterfeited!
+
+DEM. Should I not be angry?
+Let me but set eyes on him, he shall know
+That his offenses have converted me
+From a mild father to a most severe one.
+
+PHÆD. He has done nothing, Uncle, to offend you.
+
+DEM. See, all alike! the whole gang hangs together:
+Know one, and you know all.
+
+PHÆD. Nay, 'tis not so.
+
+DEM. One does a fault, the other's hard at hand
+To bear him out: when t'other slips, _he's_ ready:
+Each in their turn!
+
+GETA. I' faith th' old gentleman
+Has blunder'd on their humors to a hair.
+
+DEM. If 'twere not so, you'd not defend him, Phædria.
+
+PHÆD. If, Uncle, Antipho has done a wrong,
+Or to his interest or reputation,
+I am content he suffer as he may:
+But if another, with malicious fraud,
+Has laid a snare for unexperienced youth,
+And triumph'd o'er it; can you lay the blame
+On us, or on the judges, who oft take
+Through envy from the rich, or from compassion
+Add to the poor?
+
+GETA. Unless I knew the cause,
+I should imagine this was truth he spoke.
+
+DEM. What judge can know the merits on your side,
+When you put in no plea; as he has done?
+
+PHÆD. He has behav'd like an ingenuous youth.
+When he came into court, he wanted pow'r
+To utter what he had prepar'd, so much
+He was abash'd by fear and modesty.
+
+GETA. Oh brave!--But why, without more loss of time,
+Don't I accost th' old man! (_Going up._) My master, welcome!
+I am rejoic'd to see you safe return'd.
+
+DEM. What! my good master Governor! your slave!
+The prop! the pillar of our family!
+To whom, at my departure hence, I gave
+My son in charge.
+
+GETA. I've heard you for some time
+Accuse us all quite undeservedly,
+And me, of all, most undeservedly.
+For what could I have done in this affair?
+A slave the laws will not allow to plead;
+Nor can he be an evidence.
+
+DEM. I grant it.
+Nay more--the boy was bashful--I allow it.
+--You but a slave.--But if she had been prov'd
+Ever so plainly a relation, why
+Needed he marry her? and why not rather
+Give her, according to the law, a portion,
+And let her seek some other for a husband?
+Why did he rather bring a beggar home?
+
+GETA. 'Twas not the thought, but money that was wanting.
+
+DEM. He might have borrow'd it!
+
+GETA. Have borrow'd it!
+Easily said.
+
+DEM. If not to be had else,
+On interest.
+
+GETA. Nay, now indeed you've hit it!
+Who would advance him money in your life?
+
+DEM. Well, well, it shall not, and it can not be,
+That I should suffer her to live with him
+As wife a single day. There is no cause.
+--Would I might see that fellow, or could tell
+Where he resides!
+
+GETA. What, Phormio!
+
+DEM. The girl's Patron.
+
+GETA. He shall be with you straight.
+
+DEM. Where's Antipho?
+
+PHÆD. Abroad.
+
+DEM. Go, Phædria; find him, bring him here.
+
+PHÆD. I'll go directly. (_Exit_
+
+GETA (_aside_). Aye, to Pamphila. (_Exit_
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    DEM. If 'twere not so, you'd not defend him, Phædria.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    DEM. For, were't not so, you'd not defend him, Phædria.]
+
+
+SCENE VII.
+
+  _DEMIPHO alone._
+
+I'll home, and thank the Gods for my return:
+Thence to the Forum, and convene some friends,
+Who may be present at this interview,
+That Phormio may not take me unprepar'd. (_Exit._
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE SECOND.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _PHORMIO, GETA._
+
+PHOR. And Antipho, you say, has slunk away,
+Fearing his father's presence?
+
+GETA. Very true.
+
+PHOR. Poor Phanium left alone?
+
+GETA. 'Tis even so.
+
+PHOR. And the old gentleman enrag'd!
+
+GETA. Indeed.
+
+PHOR. The sum of all then, Phormio, rests on you:
+On you, and you alone. You've bak'd this cake;
+E'en eat it for your pains. About it then!
+
+GETA. I do beseech you.
+
+PHOR. (_to himself._) What if he inquire?----
+
+GETA. Our only hope's in you.
+
+PHOR. (_to himself_). I have it!--Then,
+Suppose he offer to return the girl?----
+
+GETA. You urg'd us to it.
+
+PHOR. (_to himself_). Aye! it shall be so.
+
+GETA. Assist us!
+
+PHOR. Let him come, old gentleman!
+'Tis here: it is engender'd: I am arm'd
+With all my counsels.
+
+GETA. What d'ye mean to do?
+
+PHOR. What would you have me do, unless contrive
+That Phanium may remain, that Antipho
+Be freed from blame, and all the old man's rage
+Turn'd upon me?
+
+GETA. Brave fellow! friend indeed!
+And yet I often tremble for you, Phormio,
+Lest all this noble confidence of yours
+End in the stocks at last.
+
+PHOR. Ah, 'tis not so.
+I'm an old stager too, and know my road.
+How many men d'ye think I've bastinadoed
+Almost to death? Aliens and citizens?
+The oft'ner, still the safer.--Tell me then,
+Didst ever hear of actions for assault
+And batt'ry brought against me?
+
+GETA. How comes that?
+
+PHOR. Because the net's not stretch'd to catch the hawk,
+Or kite, who do us wrong; but laid for those
+Who do us none at all: In them there's profit,
+In those mere labor lost. Thus other men
+May be in danger who have aught to lose;
+I, the world knows, have nothing.--You will say,
+They'll seize my person.--No, they won't maintain
+A fellow of my stomach.--And they're wise,
+In my opinion, if for injuries
+They'll not return the highest benefit.
+
+GETA. It is impossible for Antipho
+To give you thanks sufficient.
+
+PHOR. Rather say,
+No man sufficiently can thank his patron.
+You at free cost to come! anointed, bath'd,
+Easy and gay! while he's eat up with care
+And charge, to cater for your entertainment!
+He gnaws his heart, you laugh; eat first, sit first,
+And see a doubtful banquet plac'd before you!
+
+GETA. Doubtful! what phrase is that?
+
+PHOR. Where you're in doubt,
+What you shall rather choose. Delights like these
+When you but think how sweet, how dear, they are;
+Him that affords them must you not suppose
+A very deity?
+
+GETA. The old man's here.
+Mind what you do! the first attack's the fiercest:
+Sustain but that, the rest will be mere play. (_They retire._)
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    In those mere labor lost. Thus other men
+  _Colman 1768_
+    In these mere labor lost. Thus other men]
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter at a distance DEMIPHO--HEGIO, CRATINUS, CRITO, following._
+
+DEM. Was ever man so grossly treated, think ye?
+--This way, Sirs, I beseech you.
+
+GETA. He's enrag'd!
+
+PHOR. Hist! mind your cue: I'll work him.
+--(_Coming forward, and speaking loud._) Oh, ye Gods!
+Does he deny that Phanium's his relation?
+What, Demipho! does Demipho deny
+That Phanium is his kinswoman?
+
+GETA. He does.
+
+PHOR. And who her father was, he does not know?
+
+GETA. No.
+
+DEM. (_to the Lawyers_). Here's the very fellow, I believe,
+Of whom I have been speaking.--Follow me!
+
+PHOR. (_aloud_). And that he does not know who Stilpho was?
+
+GETA. No.
+
+PHOR. Ah! because, poor thing, she's left in want,
+Her father is unknown, and she despis'd.
+What will not avarice do?
+
+GETA. If you insinuate
+My master's avaricious, woe be to you!
+
+DEM. (_behind_). Oh impudence! he dares accuse me first.
+
+PHOR. As to the youth, I can not take offense,
+If he had not much knowledge of him; since,
+Now in the vale of years, in want, his work
+His livelihood, he nearly altogether
+Liv'd in the country: where he held a farm
+Under my father. I have often heard
+The poor old man complain that this his kinsman
+Neglected him.--But what a man! A man
+Of most exceeding virtue.
+
+GETA. Much at one:
+Yourself and he you praise so much.
+
+PHOR. Away!
+Had I not thought him what I've spoken of him,
+I would not for his daughter's sake have drawn
+So many troubles on our family,
+Whom this old cuff now treats so scandalously.
+
+GETA. What, still abuse my absent master, rascal!
+
+PHOR. It is no more than he deserves.
+
+GETA. How, villain!
+
+DEM. Geta! (_Calling._)
+
+GETA. Rogue, robber, pettifogger! (_To PHORMIO pretending not to hear
+    DEMIPHO._)
+
+DEM. Geta!
+
+PHOR. Answer. (_Apart to GETA._)
+
+GETA (_turning_). Who's that?--Oh!
+
+DEM. Peace!
+
+GETA. Behind your back
+All day without cessation has this knave
+Thrown scurvy terms upon you, such as none
+But men like him can merit.
+
+DEM. Well! have done.
+(_Putting GETA by, then addressing PHORMIO._)
+Young man! permit me first to ask one question.
+And, if you please, vouchsafe to answer me.
+--Who was this friend of yours? Explain! and how
+Might he pretend that I was his relation?
+
+PHOR. So! you fish for't, as if you did not know. (_Sneeringly._)
+
+DEM. Know! I!
+
+PHOR. Aye; you.
+
+DEM. Not I: You that maintain
+I ought, instruct me how to recollect.
+
+PHOR. What! not acquainted with your cousin?
+
+DEM. Plague!
+Tell me his name.
+
+PHOR. His name? aye!
+
+DEM. Well, why don't you?
+
+PHOR. Confusion! I've forgot the name. (_Apart._)
+
+DEM. What say you?
+
+PHOR. Geta, if you remember, prompt me.
+                     (_Apart to GETA._)--Pshaw,
+I will not tell.--As if you did not know,
+You're come to try me. (_Loud to DEMIPHO._)
+
+DEM. How! try you?
+
+GETA. Stilpho. (_Whispering PHORMIO._)
+
+PHOR. What is't to me?--Stilpho.
+
+DEM. Whom say you?
+
+PHOR. Stilpho:
+Did you know Stilpho, Sir?
+
+DEM. I neither know him,
+Nor ever had I kinsman of that name.
+
+PHOR. How! are you not asham'd?--But if, poor man,
+Stilpho had left behind him an estate
+Of some ten talents----
+
+DEM. Out upon you!
+
+PHOR. Then
+You would have been the first to trace your line
+Quite from your grandsire and great grandsire.
+
+DEM. True.
+Had I then come, I'd have explain'd at large
+How she was my relation: so do you!
+Say, how is she my kinswoman?
+
+GETA. Well said!
+Master, you're right.--Take heed! (_Apart to PHORMIO._)
+
+PHOR. I have explain'd
+All that most clearly, where I ought, in court.
+If it were false, why did not then your son
+Refute it?
+
+DEM. Do you tell me of my son?
+Whose folly can't be spoke of as it ought.
+
+PHOR. But you, who are so wise, go seek the judge:
+Ask sentence in the self-same cause again:
+Because you're lord alone, and have alone
+Pow'r to obtain judgment of the court
+Twice in one cause.
+
+DEM. Although I have been wrong'd,
+Yet, rather than engage in litigation,
+And rather than hear you; as if she were
+Indeed related to us, as the law
+Ordains, I'll pay her dowry: take her hence,
+And with her take five minæ.
+
+PHOR. Ha! ha! ha!
+A pleasant gentleman!
+
+DEM. Why, what's the matter?
+Have I demanded any thing unjust?
+Sha'n't I obtain this neither, which is law?
+
+PHOR. Is't even so, Sir?--Like a common harlot,
+When you've abus'd her, does the law ordain
+That you should pay her hire and whistle her off?
+Or, lest a citizen through poverty
+Bring shame upon her honor, does it order
+That she be given to her next of kin
+To pass her life with him? which you forbid.
+
+DEM. Aye; to her next of kin: But why to us;
+Or wherefore?
+
+PHOR. Oh! that matter is all settled:
+Think on't no more.
+
+DEM. Not think on't! I shall think
+Of nothing else till there's an end of this.
+
+PHOR. Words, words!
+
+DEM. I'll make them good.
+
+PHOR. But, after all,
+With you I have no business, Demipho!
+Your son is cast, not you: for at your age
+The coupling-time is over.
+
+DEM. Be assur'd
+That all I've said he says: or I'll forbid
+Him and this wife of his my house.
+
+GETA. He's angry. (_Apart._)
+
+PHOR. No; you'll think better on't.
+
+DEM. Are you resolv'd,
+Wretch that you are, to thwart me ev'ry way?
+
+  {_PHORMIO and GETA apart._}
+
+PHOR. He fears, though he dissembles.
+
+GETA. Well begun!
+
+PHOR. Well; but what can't be cur'd must be endur'd:
+'Twere well, and like yourself, that we were friends.
+
+DEM. I! friend to you? or choose to see or hear you!
+
+PHOR. Do but agree with her, you'll have a girl
+To comfort your old age. Your years, consider!
+
+DEM. Plague on your comfort! take her to yourself!
+
+PHOR. Ah! don't be angry!
+
+DEM. One word more, I've done.
+See that you fetch away this wench, and soon,
+Or I shall turn her headlong out o'doors.
+So much for Phormio!
+
+PHOR. Offer but to touch her
+In any other manner than beseems
+A gentlewoman and a citizen,
+And I shall bring a swinging writ against you.
+So much for Demipho!--If I am wanted,
+I am at home, d'ye hear? (_Apart to GETA._)
+
+GETA. I understand. (_Apart._) (_Exit PHORMIO._
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+DEM. With how much care, and what solicitude,
+My son affects me, with this wretched match
+Having embroil'd himself and me! nor comes
+Into my sight, that I might know at least
+Or what he says, or thinks of this affair.
+Go you, and see if he's come home or no.
+
+GETA. I'm gone. (_Exit._
+
+DEM. You see, Sirs, how this matter stands.
+What shall I do? Say, Hegio!
+
+HEGIO. Meaning me?
+Cratinus, please you, should speak first.
+
+DEM. Say then,
+Cratinus!
+
+CRA. Me d'ye question?
+
+DEM. You.
+
+CRA. Then I,
+Whatever steps are best I'd have you take.
+Thus it appears to me. Whate'er your son
+Has in your absence done is null and void,
+In law and equity.--And so you'll find.
+That's my opinion.
+
+DEM. Say now, Hegio!
+
+HEGIO. He has, I think, pronounc'd most learnedly.
+But so 'tis: many men, and many minds!
+Each has his fancy: Now, in my opinion,
+Whate'er is done by law can't be undone.
+'Tis shameful to attempt it.
+
+DEM. Say you, Crito!
+
+CRITO. The case, I think, asks more deliberation.
+'Tis a nice point.
+
+HEGIO. Would you aught else with us?
+
+DEM. You've utter'd oracles. (_Exeunt Lawyers._) I'm more uncertain
+Now than I was before.
+
+_Re-enter GETA._
+
+GETA. He's not return'd.
+
+DEM. My brother, as I hope, will soon arrive:
+Whate'er advice he gives me, that I'll follow.
+I'll to the Port, and ask when they expect him. (_Exit._
+
+GETA. And I'll go find out Antipho, and tell him
+All that has pass'd.--But here he comes in time.
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Enter at a distance ANTIPHO._
+
+ANT. (_to himself_). Indeed, indeed, my Antipho,
+You're much to blame, to be so poor in spirit.
+What! steal away so guilty-like! and trust
+Your life and safety to the care of others!
+Would they be touch'd more nearly than yourself?
+Come what come might of ev'ry thing beside,
+Could you abandon the dear maid at home?
+Could you so far deceive her easy faith,
+And leave her to misfortune and distress?
+Her, who plac'd all her hopes in you alone?
+
+GETA (_coming forward_). I' faith, Sir, we have thought you much
+    to blame
+For your long absence.----
+
+ANT. You're the very man
+That I was looking for.
+
+GETA. --But ne'ertheless
+We've miss'd no opportunity.
+
+ANT. Oh, speak!
+How go my fortunes, Geta? has my father
+Any suspicion that I was in league
+With Phormio?
+
+GETA. Not a jot.
+
+ANT. And may I hope?
+
+GETA. I don't know.
+
+ANT. Ah!
+
+GETA. Unless that Phædria
+Did all he could do for you.----
+
+ANT. Nothing new.
+
+GETA. --And Phormio has on all occasions else.
+Prov'd himself a brave fellow.
+
+ANT. What did he?
+
+GETA. Out-swagger'd your hot father.
+
+ANT. Well said, Phormio!
+
+GETA. --I did the best I could too.
+
+ANT. Honest Geta,
+I am much bounden to you all.
+
+GETA. Thus, Sir,
+Stand things at present. As yet all is calm.
+Your father means to wait your uncle's coming.
+
+ANT. For what?
+
+GETA. For his advice, as he propos'd;
+By which he will be rul'd in this affair.
+
+ANT. How do I dread my uncle's coming, Geta.
+Since by his sentence I must live or die!
+
+GETA. But here comes Phædria.
+
+ANT. Where?
+
+GETA. From his old school. (_They retire._)
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _Enter, from Dorio's, DORIO, PHÆDRIA following._
+
+PHÆD. Nay, hear me, Dorio!
+
+DORIO. Not I.
+
+PHÆD. But a word!
+
+DORIO. Let me alone.
+
+PHÆD. Pray hear me!
+
+DORIO. I am tir'd
+With hearing the same thing a thousand times.
+
+PHÆD. But what I'd say you would be glad to hear.
+
+DORIO. Speak then! I hear.
+
+PHÆD. Can't I prevail on you
+To stay but these three days?-- Nay, where d'ye go?
+
+DORIO. I should have wonder'd had you said aught new.
+
+ANT. (_behind_). This pimp, I fear, will work himself no
+good.
+
+GETA. I fear so too.
+
+PHÆD. Won't you believe me?
+
+DORIO. Guess.
+
+PHÆD. Upon my honor.
+
+DORIO. Nonsense.
+
+PHÆD. 'Tis a kindness
+Shall be repaid with interest.
+
+DORIO. Words, words!
+
+PHÆD. You'll be glad on't; you will, believe me.
+
+DORIO. Pshaw!
+
+PHÆD. Try; 'tis not long.
+
+DORIO. You're in the same tune still.
+
+PHÆD. My kinsman, parent, friend!----
+
+DORIO. Aye, talk away.
+
+PHÆD. Can you be so inflexible, so cruel.
+That neither pity nor entreaties touch you?
+
+DORIO. And can you be so inconsiderate,
+And so unconscionable, Phædria,
+To think that you can talk me to your purpose,
+And wheedle me to give the girl for nothing?
+
+ANT. (_behind_). Poor Phædria!
+
+PHÆD. (_to himself_). Alas! he speaks the truth.
+
+GETA (_to ANTIPHO_). How well they each support their characters!
+
+PHÆD. (_to himself_). Then that this evil should have come
+upon me,
+When Antipho was in the like distress!
+
+ANT. (_going up_). Ha! what now, Phædria?
+
+PHÆD. Happy, happy Antipho!----
+
+ANT. I?
+
+PHÆD. Who have her you love in your possession,
+Nor e'er had plagues like these to struggle with!
+
+ANT. In my possession? yes, I have, indeed,
+As the old saying goes, a wolf by th' ears:
+For I can neither part with her nor keep her.
+
+DORIO. 'Tis just my case with him.
+
+ANT. (_to DORIO_). Thou thorough bawd!
+--(_To PHÆDRIA._) What has he done?
+
+PHÆD. Done?--The inhuman wretch
+Has sold my Pamphila.
+
+GETA. What! sold her?
+
+ANT. Sold her?
+
+PHÆD. Yes; sold her.
+
+DORIO (_laughing_). Sold her.--What a monstrous crime!
+A wench he paid his ready money for.
+
+PHÆD. I can't prevail upon him to wait for me,
+And to stave off his bargain but three days;
+Till I obtain the money from my friends,
+According to their promise.--If I do not
+Pay it you then, don't wait a moment longer.
+
+DORIO. You stun me.
+
+ANT. 'Tis a very little time
+For which he asks your patience, Dorio.
+Let him prevail on you; your complaisance
+Shall be requited doubly.
+
+DORIO. Words; mere words!
+
+ANT. Can you then bear to see your Pamphila
+Torn from this city, Phædria?--Can you, Dorio,
+Divide their loves
+
+DORIO. Nor I, nor you.
+
+GETA. Plague on you!
+
+DORIO (_to PHÆDRIA_). I have, against my natural disposition,
+Borne with you several months, still promising,
+Whimpering, and ne'er performing any thing:
+Now, on the contrary, I've found a spark,
+Who'll prove a ready-paymaster, no sniveler:
+Give place then to your betters!
+
+ANT. Surely, Phædria,
+There was, if I remember, a day settled
+That you should pay the money down.
+
+PHÆD. There was.
+
+DORIO. Do I deny it?
+
+ANT. Is the day past?
+
+DORIO. No.
+But this has come before it.
+
+ANT. Infamous!
+Ar'n't you asham'd of such base treachery?
+
+DORIO. Not I, while I can get by't.
+
+GETA. Scavenger!
+
+PHÆD. Is this just dealing, Dorio?
+
+DORIO. 'Tis my way:
+So, if you like me, use me.
+
+ANT. Can you deceive him thus?
+
+DORIO. Nay, Antipho,
+'Tis he deceives me: he was well aware
+What kind of man I was, but I believ'd
+Him diff'rent. He has disappointed me,
+But I am still the same to him as ever.
+However, thus much I can do for him;
+The Captain promis'd to pay down the money
+To-morrow morning. But now, Phædria,
+If you come first, I'll follow my old rule,
+"The first to pay shall be first serv'd." Farewell. (_Exit._
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _PHÆDRIA, ANTIPHO, GETA._
+
+PHÆD. What shall I do? Unhappy that I am,
+How shall I, who am almost worse than nothing,
+Raise such a sum so suddenly?--Alas!
+Had I prevail'd on him to wait three days,
+I had a promise of it.
+
+ANT. Shall we, Geta,
+Suffer my Phædria to be miserable?
+My best friend Phædria, who but now, you said,
+Assisted me so heartily?--No--Rather
+Let us, since there is need, return his kindness!
+
+GETA. It is but just, I must confess.
+
+ANT. Come then;
+'Tis you alone can save him.
+
+GETA. By what means?
+
+ANT. Procure the money.
+
+GETA. Willingly: but whence?
+
+ANT. My father is arriv'd.
+
+GETA. He is: what then?
+
+ANT. A word to the wise, Geta!
+
+GETA. Say you so?
+
+ANT. Ev'n so.
+
+GETA. By Hercules, 'tis rare advice.
+Are you there with me? will it not be triumph,
+So I but 'scape a scouring for your match,
+That you must urge me to run risks for him?
+
+ANT. He speaks the truth, I must confess.
+
+PHÆD. How's that?
+Am I a stranger to you, Geta?
+
+GETA. No:
+Nor do I hold you such. But is it nothing
+That the old man now rages at us all,
+Unless we irritate him so much further
+As to preclude all hopes to pacify him?
+
+PHÆD. Shall then another bear her hence? Ah me!
+Now then, while I remain, speak to me, Antipho.
+Behold me!
+
+ANT. Wherefore? what is it you mean?
+
+PHÆD. Wherever she's convey'd, I'll follow her;
+Or perish.
+
+GETA. Heaven prosper your designs!--
+Gently, Sir, gently!
+
+ANT. See if you can help him.
+
+GETA. Help him! but how?
+
+ANT. Nay, think, invent, devise;
+Lest he do something we repent of, Geta!
+
+GETA. I'm thinking. (_Pausing._)--Well then I believe, he's safe.
+But I'm afraid of mischief.
+
+ANT. Never fear:
+We'll bear all good and evil fortune with you.
+
+GETA. Tell me the sum you have occasion for.
+
+PHÆD. But thirty minæ.
+
+GETA. Thirty! monstrous, Phædria!
+She's very dear.
+
+PHÆD. Dog-cheap.
+
+GETA. Well, say no more.
+I'll get them for you.
+
+PHÆD. O brave fellow!
+
+GETA. Hence!
+
+PHÆD. But I shall want it now.
+
+GETA. You'll have it now.
+But Phormio must assist me in this business.
+
+ANT. He's ready: lay what load you will upon him,
+He'll bear it all; for he's a friend indeed.
+
+GETA. Let's to him quickly then!
+
+ANT. D'ye want my help?
+
+GETA. We've no occasion for you. Get you home
+To the poor girl, who's almost dead with fear;
+And see you comfort her.--Away! d'ye loiter?
+
+ANT. There's nothing I would do so willingly. (_Exit._
+
+PHÆD. But how will you effect this?
+
+GETA. I'll explain
+That matter as we go along.--Away! (_Exeunt._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    That the old man now rages at us all
+  _Colman 1768_
+    That Demipho now rages at us all]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE THIRD.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _Enter DEMIPHO and CHREMES._
+
+DEM. Well, Chremes, have you brought your daughter with you,
+On whose account you went to Lemnos?
+
+CHREM. No.
+
+DEM. Why not?
+
+CHREM. It seems the mother, grown impatient,
+Perceiving that I tarried here so long,
+And that the girl's age brook'd not my delays,
+Had journeyed here, they said, in search of me,
+With her whole family.
+
+DEM. Appris'd of this,
+What kept you there so long then?
+
+CHREM. A disease.
+
+DEM. How came it? what disease?
+
+CHREM. Is that a question?
+Old age itself is a disease.--However,
+The master of the ship, who brought them over,
+Inform'd me of their safe arrival hither.
+
+DEM. Have you heard, Chremes, of my son's misfortune
+During my absence?
+
+CHREM. Aye; and it confounds me.
+For to another should I tender her,
+I must relate the girl's whole history,
+And whence arises my connection with her.
+You I can trust as safely as myself:
+But if a stranger courts alliance with me,
+While we're new friends, he'll hold his peace perhaps,
+But if he cools, he'll know too much of me.
+Then I'm afraid my wife should know of this;
+Which if she does, I've nothing else to do
+But shake myself, and leave my house directly:
+For I've no friend at home except myself.
+
+DEM. I know it; and 'tis that which touches me.
+Nor are there any means I'll leave untried,
+Till I have made my promise to you good.
+
+      [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    CHREM. It seems the mother, grown impatient
+  _Colman 1768_
+    CHREM. Her mother grown, it seems, impatient
+
+    Inform'd me of their safe arrival hither.
+  _Harper edition reads "safe arrival higher"_]
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter, at another part of the stage, GETA._
+
+GETA (_to himself_). I never saw a more shrewd rogue than Phormio.
+I came to let him know we wanted money,
+With my advice for getting it; and scarce
+Had I related half, but he conceiv'd me.
+He was o'erjoy'd; commended me; demanded
+To meet with Demipho; and thank'd the god;
+That it was now the time to show himself
+As truly Phædria's friend as Antipho's.
+I bade him wait us at the Forum; whither
+I'd bring th' old gentleman.--And there he is!
+--But who's the furthermost? Ha! Phædria's father.
+--Yet what was I afraid of, simpleton?
+That I have got two dupes instead of one?
+Is it not better that my hopes are doubled?
+--I'll attack him, I first propos'd. If he
+Answers my expectation, well: if not,
+Why then have at you, uncle!
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    With my advice for getting it; and scarce
+  _Colman 1768_
+    With my device for getting it; and scarce]
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Enter behind, ANTIPHO._
+
+ANT. (_to himself_). I expect
+Geta's arrival presently.--But see!
+Yonder's my uncle with my father.--Ah!
+How do I dread his influence!
+
+GETA. I'll to them.
+Oh, good Sir Chremes! (_Going up._)
+
+CHREM. Save you, save you, Geta!
+
+GETA. I'm glad to see you safe arriv'd.
+
+CHREM. I thank you.
+
+GETA. How go affairs?
+
+CHREM. A world of changes here,
+As usual at first coming home again.
+
+GETA. True. Have you heard of Antipho's affair?
+
+CHREM. The whole.
+
+GETA (_to DEMIPHO_). Did you inform him, Sir?--'Tis monstrous, Chremes,
+To he so shamefully impos'd upon!
+
+DEM. 'Twas on that point I was just talking with him.
+
+GETA. And I too, having turn'd it in my thoughts,
+Have found, I think, a remedy.
+
+DEM. How, Geta?
+What remedy?
+
+GETA. On leaving you, by chance
+I met with Phormio.
+
+CHREM. Who is Phormio?
+
+GETA. The girl's solicitor.
+
+CHREM. I understand.
+
+GETA. I thought within myself, "suppose I found him!"
+And taking him aside, "Now prithee, Phormio,
+Why don't you try to settle this affair
+By fair means rather than by foul?" said I.
+"My master is a generous gentleman,
+And hates to go to law. For I assure you
+His other friends advis'd him, to a man,
+To turn this girl directly out o' doors."
+
+ANT. (_behind_). What does he mean? or where will all this end?
+
+GETA. "The law, you think, will give you damages
+If he attempts to turn her out.--Alas!
+He has good counsel upon that.--I' faith,
+You'll have hot work if you engage with him;
+He's such an orator!--But ev'n suppose
+That you should gain your lawsuit, after all
+The trial is not for his life, but money."
+Perceiving him a little wrought upon,
+And soften'd by this style of talking with him,
+"Come now," continued I, "we're all alone.
+Tell me, what money would you take in hand
+To drop your lawsuit, take away the girl,
+And trouble us no farther!"
+
+ANT. (_behind_). Is he mad?
+
+GETA. --"For I am well convinc'd, that if your terms
+Are not extravagant and wild indeed,
+My master's such a worthy gentleman,
+You will not change three words between you."
+
+DEM. Who
+Commission'd you to say all this?
+
+CHREM. Nay, nay,
+Nothing could be more happy to effect
+The point we labor at.
+
+ANT. (_behind_). Undone!
+
+CHREM. (_to GETA_). Go on.
+
+GETA. At first he rav'd.
+
+DEM. Why, what did he demand?
+
+GETA. Too much: as much as came into his head.
+
+CHREM. Well, but the sum?
+
+GETA. He talk'd of a great talent.
+
+DEM. Plague on the rascal! what! has he no shame?
+
+GETA. The very thing I said to him.--"Suppose
+He was to portion out an only daughter,
+What could he give her more?--He profits little,
+Having no daughter of his own; since one
+Is found to carry off a fortune from him."
+--But to be brief, and not to dwell upon
+All his impertinences, he at last
+Gave me this final answer.--"From the first,
+I wish'd," said he, "as was indeed most fit,
+To wed the daughter of my friend myself.
+For I was well aware of her misfortune;
+That, being poor, she would be rather given
+In slavery, than wedlock, to the rich.
+But I was forc'd, to tell you the plain truth,
+To take a woman with some little fortune,
+To pay my debts: and still, if Demipho
+Is willing to advance as large a sum
+As I'm to have with one I'm now engag'd to.
+There is no wife I'd rather take than her."
+
+ANT. (_behind_). Whether through malice or stupidity,
+He is rank knave or fool, I can not tell.
+
+DEM. (_to GETA_). What, if he owes his soul?
+
+GETA. "I have a farm,"
+Continued he, "that's mortgag'd for ten minæ."
+
+DEM. Well, let him take her then: I'll pay the money.
+
+GETA. "A house for ten more."
+
+DEM. Huy! huy! that's too much.
+
+CHREM. No noise! demand those ten of me.
+
+GETA. "My wife
+Must buy a maid; some little furniture
+Is also requisite; and some expense
+To keep our wedding: all these articles,"
+Continues he, "we'll reckon at ten minæ."
+
+DEM. No; let him bring a thousand writs against me.
+I'll give him nothing. What! afford the villain
+An opportunity to laugh at me?
+
+CHREM. Nay, but be pacified! I'll pay the money.
+Only do you prevail upon your son
+To marry her whom we desire.
+
+ANT. (_behind_). Ah me!
+Geta, your treachery has ruin'd me.
+
+CHREM. She's put away on my account: 'tis just
+That I should pay the money.
+
+GETA. "Let me know,"
+Continues he, "as soon as possible,
+Whether they mean to have me marry her;
+That I may part with t'other, and be certain.
+For t'other girl's relations have agreed
+To pay the portion down immediately."
+
+CHREM. He shall be paid this too immediately.
+Let him break off with her, and take this girl!
+
+DEM. Aye, and the plague go with him!
+
+CHREM. Luckily
+It happens I've some money here; the rents
+Of my wife's farms at Lemnos. I'll take that; (_to DEMIPHO_)
+And tell my wife that you had need of it. (_Exeunt._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    DEM. No; let him bring a thousand writs against me.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    DEM. No; let him bring ten thousand writs against me.
+
+  _Colman's note on this passage says in part: "I have ... rendered
+  the _sexcentas_ of Terence by _Ten Thousand_, as being most agreeable
+  to the English idiom, as well as the Greek."_]
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Manent ANTIPHO, GETA._
+
+ANT. (_coming forward_). Geta!
+
+GETA. Ha, Antipho!
+
+ANT. What have you done!
+
+GETA. Trick'd the old bubbles of their money.
+
+ANT. Well,
+Is that sufficient, think ye?
+
+GETA. I can't tell.
+'Twas all my orders.
+
+ANT. Knave, d'ye shuffle with me? (_Kicks him._)
+
+GETA. Plague! what d'ye mean?
+
+ANT. What do I mean, Sirrah!
+You've driven me to absolute perdition.
+All pow'rs of heav'n and hell confound you for't,
+And make you an example to all villains!
+--Here! would you have your business duly manag'd,
+Commit it to this fellow!--What could be
+More tender than to touch upon this sore,
+Or even name my wife? my father's fill'd
+With hopes that she may be dismiss'd.--And then,
+If Phormio gets the money for the portion,
+He, to be sure, must marry her.--And what
+Becomes of me then?
+
+GETA. He'll not marry her.
+
+ANT. Oh, no: but when they redemand the money,
+On my account he'll rather go to jail! (_Ironically._)
+
+GETA. Many a tale is spoiled in telling, Antipho.
+You take out all the good, and leave the bad.
+--Now hear the other side--If he receives
+The money, he must wed the girl: I grant it.
+But then some little time must be allow'd
+For wedding-preparation, invitation,
+And sacrifices.--Meanwhile, Phædria's friends
+Advance the money they have promis'd him:
+Which Phormio shall make use of for repayment.
+
+ANT. How so? what reason can he give?
+
+GETA. What reason?
+A thousand.--"Since I made this fatal bargain,
+Omens and prodigies have happen'd to me.
+There came a strange black dog into my house!
+A snake fell through the tiling! a hen crow'd!
+The Soothsayer forbade it! The Diviner
+Charg'd me to enter on no new affair
+Before the winter."--All sufficient reasons.
+Thus it shall be.
+
+ANT. Pray Heav'n it may be!
+
+GETA. It shall.
+Depend on me:--But here's your father.--Go;
+Tell Phædria that the money's safe. (_Exit ANTIPHO._
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _Re-enter DEMIPHO and CHREMES._
+
+DEM. Nay, peace!
+I'll warrant he shall play no tricks upon us:
+I'll not part rashly with it, I assure you;
+But pay it before witnesses, reciting
+To whom 'tis paid, and why 'tis paid.
+
+GETA. How cautious,
+Where there is no occasion! (_Aside._)
+
+CHREM. You had need.
+But haste, dispatch it while the fit's upon him:
+For if the other party should be pressing,
+Perhaps he'll break with us.
+
+GETA. You've hit it, Sir.
+
+DEM. Carry me to him then.
+
+GETA. I wait your pleasure.
+
+CHREM. (_to DEMIPHO_). When this is done, step over to my wife,
+That she may see the girl before she goes;
+And tell her, to prevent her being angry,
+"That we've agreed to marry her to Phormio,
+Her old acquaintance, and a fitter match;
+That we have not been wanting in our duty,
+But giv'n as large a portion as he ask'd."
+
+DEM. Pshaw! what's all this to you?
+
+CHREM. A great deal, brother.
+
+DEM. Is't not sufficient to have done your duty,
+Unless the world approves it?
+
+CHREM. I would choose
+To have the whole thing done by her consent,
+Lest she pretend she was turn'd out o' doors.
+
+DEM. Well, I can say all this to her myself.
+
+CHREM. A woman deals much better with a woman.
+
+DEM. I'll ask your wife to do it then. (_Exeunt DEMIPHO and GETA._
+
+CHREM. I'm thinking
+Where I shall find these women now.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    Lest she pretend she was turn'd out o' doors.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Lest she pretend we turn'd her out o' doors.]
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _Enter SOPHRONA at a distance._
+
+SOPH. (_to herself_). Alas!
+What shall I do, unhappy as I am?
+Where find a friend? to whom disclose this story?
+Of whom beseech assistance?--For I fear
+My mistress will sustain some injury
+From following my counsel: the youth's father,
+I hear, is so offended at this marriage.
+
+CHREM. Who's this old woman, coming from my brother's,
+That seems so terrified?
+
+SOPH. (_to herself_). 'Twas poverty
+Compell'd me to this action: though I knew
+This match would hardly hold together long,
+Yet I advis'd her to it, that meanwhile
+She might not want subsistence.
+
+CHREM. Surely, surely,
+Either my mind deceives me, or my eyes fail me,
+Or that's my daughter's nurse.
+
+SOPH. Nor can we find----
+
+CHREM. What shall I do?
+
+SOPH. --Her father out.
+
+CHREM. Were't best
+I should go up to her, or wait a little,
+To gather something more from her discourse?
+
+SOPH. Could he be found, my fears were at an end.
+
+CHREM. 'Tis she. I'll speak with her.
+
+SOPH. (_overhearing_). Whose voice is that?
+
+CHREM. Sophrona!
+
+SOPH. Ha! my name too?
+
+CHREM. Look this way.
+
+SOPH. (_turning_). Good Heav'n have mercy on us! Stilpho!
+
+CHREM. No.
+
+SOPH. Deny your own name?
+
+CHREM. (_in a low voice_). This way, Sophrona!----
+--A little further from that door!--this way!----
+And never call me by that name, I charge you.
+
+SOPH. What, ar'n't you then the man you said you was? (_Aloud._)
+
+CHREM. Hist! hist!
+
+SOPH. What makes you fear those doors so much?
+
+CHREM. I have a fury of a wife within:
+And formerly I went by that false name,
+Lest she should indiscreetly blab it out,
+And so my wife might come to hear of this.
+
+SOPH. Ah! thus it was, that we, alas! poor souls,
+Could never find you out here.
+
+CHREM. Well, but tell me,
+What business have you with that family? (_Pointing._)
+--Where is your mistress and her daughter?
+
+SOPH. Ah!
+
+CHREM. What now? are they alive?
+
+SOPH. The daughter is:
+The mother broke her heart with grief.
+
+CHREM. Alas!
+
+SOPH. And I a poor, unknown, distress'd old woman,
+Endeavoring to manage for the best,
+Contriv'd to match the virgin to a youth,
+Son to the master of this house.
+
+CHREM. To Antipho?
+
+SOPH. The very same.
+
+CHREM. What! has he two wives then?
+
+SOPH. No, mercy on us! he has none but her.
+
+CHREM. What is the other then, who, they pretend,
+Is a relation to him?
+
+SOPH. This is she.
+
+CHREM. How say you?
+
+SOPH. It was all a mere contrivance:
+That he, who was in love, might marry her
+Without a portion.
+
+CHREM. O ye powers of heav'n,
+How often fortune blindly brings about
+More than we dare to hope for! Coming home,
+I've found my daughter, even to my wish,
+Match'd to the very person I desir'd.
+What we have both been laboring to effect,
+Has this poor woman all alone accomplish'd.
+
+SOPH. But now consider what is to be done!
+The bridegroom's father is return'd; and he,
+They say, is much offended at this marriage.
+
+CHREM. Be of good comfort: there's no danger there.
+But, in the name of heav'n and earth, I charge you,
+Let nobody discover she's my daughter.
+
+SOPH. None shall discover it from me.
+
+CHREM. Come then!
+Follow me in, and you shall hear the rest. (_Exeunt._
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FOURTH.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _DEMIPHO, GETA._
+
+DEM. 'Tis our own fault that we encourage rogues,
+By overstraining the due character
+Of honesty and generosity.
+"Shoot not beyond the mark," the proverb goes.
+Was't not enough that he had done us wrong,
+But we must also throw him money too,
+To live till he devises some new mischief?
+
+GETA. Very right!
+
+DEM. Knavery's now its own reward.
+
+GETA. Very true!
+
+DEM. How like fools have we behav'd!
+
+GETA. So as he keeps his word, and takes the girl,
+'Tis well enough.
+
+DEM. Is that a doubt at present?
+
+GETA. A man, you know, may change his mind.
+
+DEM. How! change?
+
+GETA. That I can't tell: but, if perhaps, I say.
+
+DEM. I'll now perform my promise to my brother,
+And bring his wife to talk to the young woman.
+You, Geta, go before, and let her know
+Nausistrata will come and speak with her. (_Exit DEMIPHO._
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _GETA alone._
+
+The money's got for Phædria: all is hush'd:
+And Phanium is not to depart as yet.
+What more then? where will all this end at last?
+--Alas! you're sticking in the same mire still:
+You've only chang'd hands, Geta. The disaster
+That hung but now directly over you,
+Delay perhaps will bring more heavy on you.
+You're quite beset, unless you look about.
+--Now then I'll home; to lesson Phanium,
+That she mayn't stand in fear of Phormio,
+Nor dread this conf'rence with Nausistrata. (_Exit._
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Enter DEMIPHO and NAUSISTRATA._
+
+DEM. Come then, Nausistrata, afford us now
+A little of your usual art, and try
+To put this woman in good humor with us;
+That what is done she may do willingly.
+
+NAUS. I will.
+
+DEM. And now assist us with your counsel,
+As with your cash a little while ago.
+
+NAUS. With all my heart: and I am only sorry
+That 'tis my husband's fault I can't do more.
+
+DEM. How so?
+
+NAUS. Because he takes such little care
+Of the estate my father nurs'd so well:
+For from these very farms he never fail'd
+To draw two talents by the year. But ah!
+What difference between man and man!
+
+DEM. Two talents?
+
+NAUS. Aye--in worse times than these--and yet two talents?
+
+DEM. Huy!
+
+NAUS. What, are you surpris'd?
+
+DEM. Prodigiously.
+
+NAUS. Would I had been a man! I'd show----
+
+DEM. No doubt.
+
+NAUS. --By what means----
+
+DEM. Nay, but spare yourself a little
+For the encounter with the girl: lest she,
+Flippant and young, may weary you too much.
+
+NAUS. --Well, I'll obey your orders: but I see
+My husband coming forth.
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Enter CHREMES, hastily._
+
+CHREM. Ha!
+Has Phormio had the money yet?
+
+DEM. I paid him
+Immediately.
+
+CHREM. I'm sorry for't.-- (_Seeing NAUSISTRATA._)--My wife!
+I'd almost said too much. (_Aside._)
+
+DEM. Why sorry, Chremes?
+
+CHREM. Nothing.--No matter.
+
+DEM. Well, but hark ye, Chremes!
+Have you been talking with the girl, and told her
+Wherefore we bring your wife?
+
+CHREM. I've settled it.
+
+DEM. Well, and what says she?
+
+CHREM. 'Tis impossible
+To send her hence.
+
+DEM. And why impossible?
+
+CHREM. Because they are both so fond of one another.
+
+DEM. What's that to us?
+
+CHREM. A great deal. And besides,
+I have discover'd she's related to us.
+
+DEM. Have you your wits?
+
+CHREM. 'Tis so. I'm very serious.
+--Nay, recollect a little!
+
+DEM. Are you mad?
+
+NAUS. Good now, beware of wronging a relation!
+
+DEM. She's no relation to us.
+
+CHREM. Don't deny it.
+Her father had assum'd another name,
+And that deceiv'd you.
+
+DEM. What! not know her father?
+
+CHREM. Perfectly.
+
+DEM. Why did she misname him then?
+
+CHREM. Won't you be rul'd, nor understand me then?
+
+DEM. What can I understand from nothing?
+
+CHREM. Still? (_Impatiently._)
+
+NAUS. I can't imagine what this means.
+
+DEM. Nor I.
+
+CHREM. Would you know all?--Why then, so help me Heaven,
+She has no nearer kindred in the world
+Than you and I.
+
+DEM. Oh, all ye powers of heaven!
+--Let us go to her then immediately:
+I would fain know, or not know, all at once. (_Going._)
+
+CHREM. Ah! (_Stopping him._)
+
+DEM. What's the matter?
+
+CHREM. Can't you trust me then?
+
+DEM. Must I believe it? take it upon trust?
+--Well, be it so!--But what is to be done
+With our friend's daughter?
+
+CHREM. Nothing.
+
+DEM. Drop her?
+
+CHREM. Aye.
+
+DEM. And keep this?
+
+CHREM. Aye.
+
+DEM. Why then, Nausistrata,
+You may return. We need not trouble you.
+
+NAUS. Indeed, I think, 'tis better on all sides,
+That you should keep her here, than send her hence.
+For she appear'd to me, when first I saw her,
+Much of a gentlewoman. (_Exit NAUSISTRATA._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    CHREM. Ha!
+  _Colman 1768_
+    CHREM. Ha! Demipho!]
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _Manent DEMIPHO and CHREMES._
+
+DEM. What means this?
+
+CHREM. (_looking after NAUSISTRATA_). Is the door shut?
+
+DEM. It is.
+
+CHREM. O Jupiter!
+The Gods take care of us. I've found my daughter
+Married to your son.
+
+DEM. Ha! how could it be?
+
+CHREM. It is not safe to tell you here.
+
+DEM. Step in then.
+
+CHREM. But hark ye, Demipho!--I would not have
+Even our very sons inform'd of this. (_Exeunt._
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _ANTIPHO alone._
+
+I'm glad, however my affairs proceed,
+That Phædria's have succeeded to his mind.
+How wise to foster such desires alone,
+As, although cross'd, are easily supplied!
+Money, once found, sets Phædria at his ease;
+But my distress admits no remedy.
+For, if the secret's kept, I live in fear;
+And if reveal'd, I am expos'd to shame.
+Nor would I now return, but in the hope
+Of still possessing her.--But where is Geta?
+That I may learn of him the fittest time
+To meet my father.
+
+
+SCENE VII.
+
+  _Enter, at a distance, PHORMIO._
+
+PHOR. (_to himself_). I've receiv'd the money;
+Paid the procurer; carried off the wench;
+Who's free, and now in Phædria's possession.
+One thing alone remains to be dispatch'd;
+To get a respite from th' old gentlemen
+To tipple some few days, which I must spend
+In mirth and jollity.
+
+ANT. But yonder's Phormio.-- (_Goes up._)
+What now?
+
+PHOR. Of what?
+
+ANT. What's Phædria about?
+How does he mean to take his fill of love?
+
+PHOR. By acting your part in his turn.
+
+ANT. What part?
+
+PHOR. Flying his father's presence.--And he begs
+That you'd act his, and make excuses for him;
+For he intends a drinking-bout with me.
+I shall pretend to the old gentlemen
+That I am going to the fair at Sunium,
+To buy the servant-maid that Geta mention'd:
+Lest, finding I am absent, they suspect
+That I am squandering the sum they paid me.
+--But your door opens.
+
+ANT. Who comes here?
+
+PHOR. 'Tis Geta.
+
+
+SCENE VIII.
+
+  _Enter hastily, at another part of the stage, GETA._
+
+GETA. O fortune, O best fortune, what high blessings,
+What sudden, great, and unexpected joys
+Hast thou shower'd down on Antipho to-day!----
+
+ANT. What can this be he's so rejoic'd about?
+
+GETA. --And from what fears deliver'd us, his friends?
+--But wherefore do I loiter thus? and why
+Do I not throw my cloak upon my shoulder,
+And haste to find him out, that he may know
+All that has happen'd?
+
+ANT. (_to PHORMIO_). Do you comprehend
+What he is talking of?
+
+PHOR. Do you?
+
+ANT. Not I.
+
+PHOR. I'm just as wise as you.
+
+GETA. I'll hurry hence
+To the procurer's.--I shall find them there. (_Going._)
+
+ANT. Ho, Geta!
+
+GETA. Look ye there!--Is't new or strange,
+To be recall'd when one's in haste? (_Going._)
+
+ANT. Here, Geta!
+
+GETA. Again? bawl on! I'll ne'er stop. (_Going on._)
+
+ANT. Stay, I say!
+
+GETA. Go, and be drubb'd!
+
+ANT. You shall, I promise you,
+Unless you stop, you rascal!
+
+GETA (_stopping_). Hold, hold, Geta!
+Some intimate acquaintance this, be sure,
+Being so free with you.--But is it he
+That I am looking for, or not?--'Tis he.
+
+PHOR. Go up immediately. (_They go up to GETA._)
+
+ANT. (_to GETA_). What means all this?
+
+GETA. O happy man! the happiest man on earth!
+So very happy, that, beyond all doubt,
+You are the God's chief fav'rite, Antipho.
+
+ANT. Would I were! but your reason.
+
+GETA. Is't enough
+To plunge you over head and ears in joy?
+
+ANT. You torture me.
+
+PHOR. No promises! but tell us
+What is your news?
+
+GETA. Oh, Phormio! are you here?
+
+PHOR. I am: but why d'ye trifle?
+
+GETA. Mind me then! (_To PHORMIO._)
+No sooner had we paid you at the Forum,
+But we return'd directly home again.
+--Arriv'd, my master sends me to your wife. (_To ANTIPHO._)
+
+ANT. For what?
+
+GETA. No matter now, good Antipho.
+I was just entering the women's lodging,
+When up runs little Mida; catches me
+Hold by the cloak behind, and pulls me back.
+I turn about, and ask why he detains me.
+He told me, "Nobody must see his mistress:
+For Sophrona," says he, "has just now brought
+Demipho's brother, Chremes, here; and he
+Is talking with the women now within."
+--When I heard this, I stole immediately
+On tip-toe tow'rd the door; came close; stood hush;
+Drew in my breath; applied my ear; and thus,
+Deep in attention, catch'd their whole discourse.
+
+ANT. Excellent, Geta!
+
+GETA. Here I overheard
+The pleasantest adventure! On my life,
+I scarce refrain'd from crying out for joy.
+
+ANT. What?
+
+GETA. What d'ye think? (_Laughing._)
+
+ANT. I can't tell,
+
+GETA. Oh! it was (_laughing._)
+Most wonderful!--most exquisite!--your uncle
+Is found to be the father of your wife.
+
+ANT. How! what?
+
+GETA. He had a sly intrigue, it seems,
+With Phanium's mother formerly at Lemnos. (_Laughing._)
+
+PHOR. Nonsense! as if she did not know her father!
+
+GETA. Nay, there's some reason for it, Phormio,
+You may be sure.--But was it possible
+For me, who stood without, to comprehend
+Each minute circumstance that pass'd within?
+
+ANT. I have heard something of this story too.
+
+GETA. Then, Sir, to settle your belief the more,
+At last out comes your uncle; and soon after
+Returns again, and carries in your father.
+Then they both said, they gave their full consent
+That you should keep your Phanium.--In a word,
+I'm sent to find you out, and bring you to them.
+
+ANT. Away with me then instantly! D'ye linger?
+
+GETA. Not I. Away!
+
+ANT. My Phormio, fare you well!
+
+PHOR. Fare you well, Antipho! (_Exeunt._
+
+
+SCENE IX.
+
+  _PHORMIO alone._
+
+Well done, 'fore Heaven!
+I'm overjoy'd to see so much good fortune
+Fallen thus unexpectedly upon them:
+I've now an admirable opportunity
+To bubble the old gentlemen, and ease
+Phædria of all his cares about the money;
+So that he need not be oblig'd to friends.
+For this same money, though it will be given,
+Will yet come from them much against the grain;
+But I have found a way to force them to't.
+--Now then I must assume a grander air,
+And put another face upon this business.
+--I'll hence a while into the next by-alley,
+And pop upon them as they're coming forth.
+--As for the trip I talk'd of to the fair,
+I sha'n't pretend to take that journey now. (_Exit._
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FIFTH.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _Enter DEMIPHO and CHREMES--and soon after, on t'other side, PHORMIO._
+
+DEM. Well may we thank the gracious Gods, good brother,
+That all things have succeeded to our wish.
+--But now let's find out Phormio with all speed,
+Before he throws away our thirty minæ.
+
+PHOR. (_pretending not to see him_).
+I'll go and see if Demipho's at home,
+That I may----
+
+DEM. (_meeting him_).--We were coming to you, Phormio.
+
+PHOR. On the old score, I warrant.
+
+DEM. Aye.
+
+PHOR. I thought so.
+--Why should you go to me?--ridiculous!
+Was you afraid I'd break my contract with you?
+No, no! how great soe'er my poverty,
+I've always shown myself a man of honor.
+
+  {_CHREMES and DEMIPHO apart._}
+
+CHREM. Has not she, as I said, a liberal air?
+
+DEM. She has.
+
+PHOR. --And therefore I was coming, Demipho,
+To let you know I'm ready to receive
+My wife whene'er you please. For I postpon'd
+All other business, as indeed I ought,
+Soon as I found ye were so bent on this.
+
+DEM. Aye, but my brother has dissuaded me
+From going any further in this business.
+"For how will people talk of it?" says he:
+"At first you might have done it handsomely;
+But then you'd not consent to it; and now,
+After cohabitation with your son,
+To think of a divorce is infamous."
+--In short, he urg'd almost the very things
+That you so lately charg'd me with yourself.
+
+PHOR. You trifle with me, gentlemen.
+
+DEM. How so?
+
+PHOR. How so? Because I can not marry t'other,
+With whom I told you I was first in treaty.
+For with what face can I return to her
+Whom I have held in such contempt?
+
+CHREM. Tell him
+Antipho does not care to part with her. (_Prompting DEMIPHO._)
+
+DEM. And my son too don't care to part with her:
+--Step to the Forum then, and give an order
+For the repayment of our money, Phormio.
+
+PHOR. What! when I've paid it to my creditors?
+
+DEM. What's to be done then?
+
+PHOR. Give me but the wife
+To whom you have betroth'd me, and I'll wed her.
+But if you'd rather she should stay with you,
+The portion stays with me, good Demipho,
+For 'tis not just I should be bubbled by you;
+When, to retrieve your honor, I've refus'd
+Another woman with an equal fortune.
+
+DEM. A plague upon your idle vaporing,
+You vagabond!--D'ye fancy we don't know you?
+You, and your fine proceedings?
+
+PHOR. You provoke me.
+
+DEM. Why, would you marry her, if proffer'd?
+
+PHOR. Try me.
+
+DEM. What! that my son may keep her privately
+At your house?--That was your intention.
+
+PHOR. Ha!
+What say you, Sir?
+
+DEM. Give me my money, Sirrah!
+
+PHOR. Give me my wife, I say.
+
+DEM. To justice with him!
+
+PHOR. To justice? Now, by Heaven, gentlemen,
+If you continue to be troublesome----
+
+DEM. What will you do?
+
+PHOR. What will I do? Perhaps
+You think that I can only patronize
+Girls without portion; but be sure of this,
+I've some with portions too.
+
+CHREM. What's that to us?
+
+PHOR. Nothing.--I know a lady here whose husband----
+
+CHREM. Ha! (_Carelessly._)
+
+DEM. What's the matter?
+
+PHOR. --Had another wife
+At Lemnos.
+
+CHREM. (_aside_). I'm a dead man.
+
+PHOR. --By which other
+He had a daughter; whom he now brings up
+In private.
+
+CHREM. (_aside_). Dead and buried.
+
+PHOR. This I'll tell her. (_Going toward the house._)
+
+CHREM. Don't, I beseech you!
+
+PHOR. Oh! are you the man?
+
+DEM. Death! how insulting!
+
+CHREM. (_to PHORMIO_). We discharge you.
+
+PHOR. Nonsense!
+
+CHREM. What would you more? The money you have got
+We will forgive you.
+
+PHOR. Well; I hear you now.
+--But what a plague d'ye mean by fooling thus,
+Acting and talking like mere children with me?
+--I won't; I will: I will; I won't again:----
+Give, take; say, unsay; do, and then undo.
+
+CHREM. (_to DEMIPHO_). Which way could he have learn'd this?
+
+DEM. I don't know;
+But I am sure I never mention'd it.
+
+CHREM. Good now! amazing!
+
+PHOR. I have ruffled them. (_Aside._)
+
+DEM. What! shall he carry off so large a sum,
+And laugh at us so openly?--By Heaven,
+I'd rather die.--Be of good courage, brother!
+Pluck up the spirit of a man! You see
+This slip of yours is got abroad; nor can you
+Keep it a secret from your wife. Now, therefore,
+'Tis more conducive to your peace, good Chremes,
+That we should fairly tell it her ourselves,
+Than she should hear the story from another.
+And then we shall be quite at liberty
+To take our own revenge upon this rascal.
+
+PHOR. Ha!--If I don't take care I'm ruin'd still.
+They're growing desperate, and making tow'rd me
+With a determin'd gladiatorial air.
+
+CHREM. (_to DEMIPHO_). I fear she'll ne'er forgive me.
+
+DEM. Courage, Chremes!
+I'll reconcile her to't; especially
+The mother being dead and gone.
+
+PHOR. Is this
+Your dealing, gentlemen? You come upon me
+Extremely cunningly.--But, Demipho,
+You have but ill consulted for your brother,
+To urge me to extremities.--And you, Sir (_to CHREMES_),
+When you have play'd the whoremaster abroad;
+Having no reverence for your lady here,
+A woman of condition; wronging her
+After the grossest manner; come you now
+To wash away your crimes with mean submission?
+No.--I will kindle such a flame in her,
+As, though you melt in tears, you sha'n't extinguish.
+
+DEM. A plague upon him! was there ever man
+So very impudent?--A knave! he ought
+To be transported at the public charge
+Into some desert.
+
+CHREM. I am so confounded,
+I know not what to do with him.
+
+DEM. I know.
+Bring him before a judge!
+
+PHOR. Before a judge?
+A lady-judge; in here, Sirs, if you please.
+
+DEM. Run you and hold him, while I call her servants.
+
+CHREM. I can not by myself; come up and help me.
+
+PHOR. I have an action of assault against you. (_To DEMIPHO._)
+
+CHREM. Bring it!
+
+PHOR. Another against you too, Chremes!
+
+DEM. Drag him away! (_Both lay hold of him._)
+
+PHOR. (_struggling_). Is that your way with me!
+Then I must raise my voice.--Nausistrata!
+Come hither.
+
+CHREM. Stop his mouth!
+
+DEM. (_struggling_). A sturdy rogue!
+How strong he is!
+
+PHOR. (_struggling_). Nausistrata, I say.
+Nausistrata!
+
+CHREM. (_struggling_). Peace, Sirrah!
+
+PHOR. Peace, indeed!
+
+DEM. Unless he follows, strike him in the stomach!
+
+PHOR. Aye, or put out an eye!--But here comes one
+Will give me full revenge upon you both.
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _To them NAUSISTRATA._
+
+NAUS. Who calls for me?
+
+CHREM. Confusion!
+
+NAUS. (_to CHREMES_). Pray, my dear,
+What's this disturbance?
+
+PHOR. Dumb, old Truepenny!
+
+NAUS. Who is this man?--Why don't you answer me? (_To CHREMES._)
+
+PHOR. He answer you! he's hardly in his senses.
+
+CHREM. Never believe him!
+
+PHOR. Do but go and touch him;
+He's in a shivering fit, I'll lay my life.
+
+CHREM. Nay----
+
+NAUS. But what means he then?
+
+PHOR. I'll tell you, madam;
+Do but attend!
+
+CHREM. Will you believe him then?
+
+NAUS. What is there to believe, when he says nothing?
+
+PHOR. Poor man! his fear deprives him of his wits.
+
+NAUS. (_to CHREMES_). I'm sure you're not so much afraid
+for nothing.
+
+CHREM. What! I afraid? (_Endeavoring to take heart._)
+
+PHOR. Oh, not at all!--And since
+You're in no fright, and what I say means nothing,
+Tell it yourself.
+
+DEM. At your desire, you rascal?
+
+PHOR. Oh, you've done rarely for your brother, Sir!
+
+NAUS. What! Won't you tell me, husband?
+
+CHREM. But----
+
+NAUS. But what?
+
+CHREM. There's no occasion for it.
+
+PHOR. Not for you:
+But for the Lady there is much occasion.
+In Lemnos----
+
+CHREM. Ha! what say you?
+
+DEM. (_to PHORMIO_). Hold your peace!
+
+PHOR. Without your knowledge----
+
+CHREM. Oh dear!
+
+PHOR. He has had
+Another wife.
+
+NAUS. My husband? Heav'n forbid!
+
+PHOR. 'Tis even so.
+
+NAUS. Ah me! I am undone.
+
+PHOR. --And had a daughter by her there; while you
+Was left to sleep in ignorance alone.
+
+NAUS. Oh Heavens!--Baseness!--Treachery!
+
+PHOR. 'Tis fact.
+
+NAUS. Was ever any thing more infamous?
+When they're with us, their wives forsooth, they're old.
+--Demipho, I appeal to you: for him
+I can not bear to speak to.--And were these
+His frequent journeys and long stay at Lemnos?
+Was this the cheapness that reduc'd our rents?
+
+DEM. That he has been to blame, Nausistrata,
+I don't deny; but not beyond all pardon.
+
+PHOR. You're talking to the dead.
+
+DEM. It was not done
+Out of aversion or contempt to you.
+In liquor, almost fifteen years ago,
+He met this woman, whence he had this daughter;
+Nor e'er had commerce with her from that hour.
+She's dead: your only grievance is remov'd.
+Wherefore I beg you'd show your wonted goodness,
+And bear it patiently.
+
+NAUS. How! bear it patiently?
+Alas! I wish his vices might end here.
+But have I the least hope? can I suppose
+That years will cure these rank offenses in him?
+Ev'n at that time he was already old,
+If age could make him modest.--Are my years
+And beauty, think ye, like to please him more
+At present, Demipho, than formerly?
+--In short, what ground, what reason to expect
+That he should not commit the same hereafter?
+
+PHOR. (_aloud_). Whoever would attend the funeral
+Of Chremes, now's the time!--See! that's my way.
+Come on then! provoke Phormio now, who dares!
+Like Chremes, he shall fall a victim to me.
+--Let him get into favor when he will!
+I've had revenge sufficient. She has something
+To ring into his ears his whole life long.
+
+NAUS. Have I deserv'd this?--Need I, Demipho,
+Number up each particular, and say
+How good a wife I've been?
+
+DEM. I know it all.
+
+NAUS. Am I then justly treated?
+
+DEM. Not at all.
+But since reproaches can't undo what's done,
+Forgive him! he begs pardon; owns his fault;
+And promises to mend.--What would you more?
+
+PHOR. But hold; before she ratifies his pardon,
+I must secure myself and Phædria. (_Aside._)
+--Nausistrata, a word!--Before you give
+Your answer rashly, hear me!
+
+NAUS. What's your pleasure?
+
+PHOR. I trick'd your husband there of thirty minæ,
+Which I have giv'n your son; and he has paid them
+To a procurer for a mistress.
+
+CHREM. How!
+What say you?
+
+NAUS. Is it such a heinous crime
+For your young son, d'ye think, to have _one_ mistress,
+While _you_ have _two_ wives?--Are you not asham'd?
+Have you the face to chide him? answer me!
+
+DEM. He shall do ev'ry thing you please.
+
+NAUS. Nay, nay,
+To tell you plainly my whole mind at once,
+I'll not forgive, nor promise any thing,
+Nor give an answer, till I see my son.
+
+PHOR. Wisely resolv'd, Nausistrata.
+
+NAUS. Is that
+Sufficient satisfaction for you?
+
+PHOR. Quite.
+I rest contented, well pleas'd, past my hopes.
+
+NAUS. What is your name, pray?
+
+PHOR. My name? Phormio:
+A faithful friend to all your family,
+Especially to Phædria.
+
+NAUS. Trust me, Phormio,
+I'll do you all the service in my power.
+
+PHOR. I'm much oblig'd to you.
+
+NAUS. You're worthy on't.
+
+PHOR. Will you then even now, Nausistrata,
+Grant me one favor that will pleasure me,
+And grieve your husband's sight?
+
+NAUS. With all my soul.
+
+PHOR. Ask me to supper!
+
+NAUS. I invite you.
+
+DEM. In then!
+
+NAUS. We will. But where is Phædria, our judge?
+
+PHOR. He shall be with you.-- (_To the AUDIENCE._)
+Farewell; Clap your hands!
+
+
+THE END.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's The Comedies of Terence, by Publius Terentius Afer
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+<pre>
+
+Project Gutenberg's The Comedies of Terence, by Publius Terentius Afer
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Comedies of Terence
+
+Author: Publius Terentius Afer
+
+Translator: George Colman
+
+Release Date: September 21, 2007 [EBook #22695]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: UTF-8
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE COMEDIES OF TERENCE ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Louise Hope, David Starner and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+<div class = "mynote">
+
+<p>This translation of Terence was published by Harper &amp; Brothers as
+the second part of an omnibus volume also containing the 1853 Riley
+translation (prose, with notes and commentary). The Riley portion has
+been released as <a href = "http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/22188">a
+separate e-text</a>.</p>
+
+<p>This e-text includes readings from the 1768 second edition of Colman,
+shown along the right side of the screen. In general, only differences
+in wording are included; variations in spelling and punctuation were
+disregarded, and stage directions are omitted unless significant. It is
+not known whether the Harper’s text was based on the first edition of
+Colman or some later edition. Where the Harper text was clearly in
+error, the 1768 reading was substituted in the main text. Errors are
+marked with mouse-hover popups:</p>
+
+<p class = "inset">
+&mdash;<ins class = "correction" title = "text reads ‘txet’">Shared
+errors</ins>.<br>
+&mdash;<ins class = "correction second" title =
+"Harper edition reads ‘txet’">Errors in the Harper text</ins>, corrected
+from the 1768 edition. In some plays, quotation marks were also supplied
+from the 1768 edition.<br>
+&mdash;Errors in the <ins class = "correction harper"
+title = "1768 edition reads ‘txet’">1768 edition.</ins>
+</p>
+
+<p>Page numbers in the left margin are from the 1896 Harper text, which
+is generally identical to the original 1859 printing and may have been
+set from the same plates. Page numbers in the right margin are from the
+1768 Colman edition.</p>
+
+<p>All illustrations are from the 1768 Colman edition.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "illustration">
+<img src = "images/frontis.jpg" width = "314" height = "336"
+alt = "Frontispiece: Two men with bust of Terence">
+</p>
+
+
+<div class = "titlepage">
+
+<h5>THE</h5>
+<h3>COMEDIES</h3>
+<h6>OF</h6>
+<h1>TERENCE.</h1>
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+
+<h5>LITERALLY TRANSLATED INTO ENGLISH PROSE,<br>
+WITH NOTES.</h5>
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+
+<h4 class = "smallcaps">By HENRY THOMAS RILEY, B.A.,</h4>
+
+<h6>LATE SCHOLAR OF CLARE HALL, CAMBRIDGE.</h6>
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+
+<h6>TO WHICH IS ADDED</h6>
+<h5>THE BLANK VERSE TRANSLATION OF</h5>
+<h5>GEORGE COLMAN.</h5>
+
+<p>&nbsp;<br>&nbsp;</p>
+
+<hr class = "mid">
+
+<h5>NEW YORK:</h5>
+<h6>HARPER &amp; BROTHERS, PUBLISHERS,</h6>
+<h6>FRANKLIN SQUARE.</h6>
+<h5>1896.</h5>
+
+<hr class = "mid">
+
+</div>
+
+<h5>HARPER’S</h5>
+
+<h4>NEW CLASSICAL LIBRARY.</h4>
+
+<h6>COMPRISING LITERAL TRANSLATIONS OF</h6>
+
+<table class = "harper" summary = "list of authors">
+<tr>
+<td>
+CÆSAR.<br>
+VIRGIL.<br>
+SALLUST.<br>
+HORACE.<br>
+TERENCE.<br>
+TACITUS. 2 Vols.<br>
+LIVY. 2 Vols.<br>
+CICERO’S ORATIONS.
+<p>CICERO’S OFFICES, LÆLIUS, CATO MAJOR, PARADOXES, SCIPIO’S DREAM,
+LETTER TO QUINTUS.</p>
+<p>CICERO ON ORATORY AND ORATORS.</p>
+</td>
+<td class = "leftline">
+<p>CICERO’S TUSCULAN DISPUTATIONS, THE NATURE OF THE GODS, AND THE
+COMMONWEALTH.</p>
+JUVENAL.<br>
+XENOPHON.<br>
+HOMER’S ILIAD.<br>
+HOMER’S ODYSSEY.<br>
+HERODOTUS.<br>
+DEMOSTHENES. 2 Vols.<br>
+THUCYDIDES.<br>
+ÆSCHYLUS.<br>
+SOPHOCLES.<br>
+EURIPIDES. 2 Vols.
+</td>
+<tr>
+<td colspan = "2">
+<p class = "center">PLATO (SELECT DIALOGUES).</p>
+</td>
+</tr>
+</table>
+
+<h6>12mo, Cloth, $1.00 per Volume.</h6>
+
+<hr class = "tiny">
+
+<h5 class = "smallcaps">Published by HARPER &amp; BROTHERS, New
+York.</h5>
+
+<p><img src = "images/finger.gif" width = "30" height = "13"
+alt = "pointing finger"> <i>The above works are for sale by all
+booksellers, or they will be sent by <span class = "smallcaps">Harper
+&amp; Brothers</span> to any address on receipt of price as quoted. If
+ordered sent by mail, 10 per cent. should be added to the price to cover
+cost of postage.</i></p>
+
+
+
+<h4 class = "chapter"><a name = "contents" id = "contents">
+CONTENTS.</a></h4>
+
+<hr class = "tiny">
+
+<h5>COMEDIES OF TERENCE: IN VERSE.</h5>
+
+<table class = "toc" summary = "table of contents">
+<tr>
+<td><p><a href = "#andria">
+The Andrian</a></p></td>
+<td class = "number">367</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td><p><a href = "#eunuch">
+The Eunuch</a></p></td>
+<td class = "number">408</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td><p><a href = "#tormentor">
+The Self-Tormentor</a></p></td>
+<td class = "number">451</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td><p><a href = "#adelphi">
+The Brothers</a></p></td>
+<td class = "number">494</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td><p><a href = "#hecyra">
+The Step-Mother</a></p></td>
+<td class = "number">535</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td><p><a href = "#phormio">
+Phormio</a></p></td>
+<td class = "number">568</td>
+</tr>
+</table>
+
+
+<div class = "titlepage">
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">365</span>
+<h6>THE</h6>
+
+<h3>COMEDIES</h3>
+
+<h6>OF</h6>
+
+<h1>TERENCE.</h1>
+
+<h6 class = "smaller">TRANSLATED INTO</h6>
+
+<h5 class = "smaller">FAMILIAR BLANK VERSE,</h5>
+
+<h5>BY GEORGE COLMAN.</h5>
+
+<div class = "center">
+<table summary = "centered poem">
+<tr><td>
+<div class = "poem">
+<p>Primores populi arripuit populumque tributim:</p>
+<p>Scilicet uni Êquus virtuti atque ejus amicis.</p>
+<p>Quin ubi se a vulgo et scena in secreta remorant</p>
+<p>Virtus ScipiadÊ et mitis sapientia LÊli,</p>
+<p>Nugari cum illo et discincti ludere, donec</p>
+<p>Decoqueretur olus, soliti.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "right smallcaps">Horace.</p>
+</td></tr>
+</table>
+</div>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">366</span>
+
+<p class = "illustration">
+<img src = "images/andria.jpg" width = "351" height = "415"
+alt = "comic masks">
+</p>
+
+<div class = "play">
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">367</span>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">iv</span>
+<h2 class = "title"><a name = "andria" id = "andria">
+THE ANDRIAN.</a></h2>
+
+<hr class = "mid">
+
+<h5>PERSONS REPRESENTED.</h5>
+
+<table class = "cast" summary = "cast of characters">
+<tr>
+<td class = "castleft">
+<p class = "charname">Prologue.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Simo.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Pamphilus.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Chremes.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Charinus.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Crito.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Sosia.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Davus.</p>
+</td>
+<td class = "castright">
+<p class = "charname">Byrrhia.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Dromo.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Servants, etc.</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p class = "charname">Glycerium.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Mysis.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Lesbia.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Archyllis.</p>
+</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class = "scene" colspan = "2">
+<p class = "smallcaps">Scene, Athens.</p>
+</td>
+</tr>
+</table>
+
+<hr class = "mid">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">vii</span>
+<h5><a name = "and_prolog" id = "and_prolog">
+PROLOGUE.</a></h5>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "indent">
+<span class = "firstword">The</span> Bard, when first he gave his mind
+to write,</p>
+<p>Thought it his only business, that his Plays</p>
+<p>Should please the people: but it now falls out,</p>
+<p>He finds, much otherwise, and wastes, perforce,</p>
+<p>His time in writing Prologues; not to tell</p>
+<p>The argument, but to refute the slanders</p>
+<p>Broach’d by the malice of an older Bard.</p>
+
+<p class = "indent">
+And mark what vices he is charg’d withal!</p>
+<p>Menander wrote the Andrian and Perinthian:</p>
+<p>Know one, and you know both; in argument</p>
+<p>Less diff’rent than in sentiment and style.</p>
+<p>What suited with the Andrian he confesses</p>
+<p>From the Perinthian he transferr’d, and us’d</p>
+<p>For his: and this it is these sland’rers blame,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">viii</span>
+<p>Proving by deep and learned disputation,</p>
+
+<p class = "second">
+That Fables should not be confounded thus.
+</p>
+
+<p>That Fables should not be contaminated.</p>
+<p>Troth! all the knowledge is they nothing know:</p>
+<p>Who, blaming; him, blame NÊvius, Plautus, Ennius,</p>
+<p>Whose great example is his precedent;</p>
+<p>Whose negligence he’d wish to emulate</p>
+<p>Rather than <i>their</i> dark diligence. Henceforth,</p>
+<p>Let them, I give them warning, be at peace,</p>
+<p>And cease to rail, lest they be made to know</p>
+<p>Their own misdeeds. Be favorable! sit</p>
+<p>With equal mind, and hear our play; that hence</p>
+<p>Ye may conclude, what hope to entertain,</p>
+<p>The comedies he may hereafter write</p>
+<p>Shall merit approbation or contempt.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">368</span>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">1</span>
+
+<h4 class = "act"><a name = "and_I" id = "and_I">
+ACT THE FIRST.</a></h4>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_I_I" id = "and_I_I">
+SCENE I.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Simo</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Sosia</span>, and <span class = "charname">Servants</span>
+with Provisions.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Carry those things in: go!
+(<i><ins class = "correction second" title =
+"Harper edition has ‘Exit’ (singular)">Ex.</ins>
+<span class = "charname">Servants</span>.</i></p>
+<p>Sosia, come here;</p>
+<p>A word with you!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">2</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sosia.</span> I understand: that these</p>
+<p>Be ta’en due care of.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Quite another thing.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sosia.</span> What can my art do more for
+you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> This business</p>
+<p>Needs not that art; but those good qualities,</p>
+<p>Which I have ever known abide in you,</p>
+<p>Fidelity and secrecy.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sosia.</span> I wait</p>
+<p>Your pleasure.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Since I bought you, from a boy</p>
+<p>How just and mild a servitude you’ve pass’d</p>
+<p>With me, you’re conscious: from a purchas’d slave</p>
+<p>I made you free, because you serv’d me freely:</p>
+<p>The greatest recompense I could bestow.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sosia.</span> I do remember.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">3</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Nor do I repent.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sosia.</span> If I have ever done, or now do
+aught</p>
+<p>That’s pleasing to you, Simo, I am glad,</p>
+<p>And thankful that you hold my service good</p>
+<p>And yet this troubles me: for this detail,</p>
+<p>Forcing your kindness on my memory,</p>
+<p>Seems to reproach me of ingratitude.</p>
+<p>Oh tell me then at once, what would you? Sir!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> I will; and this I must advise you
+first;</p>
+<p>The nuptial you suppose preparing now,</p>
+<p>Is all unreal.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sosia.</span> Why pretend it then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> You shall hear all from first to
+last: and thus</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">4</span>
+<p>The conduct of my son, my own intent,</p>
+<p>And what part you’re to act, you’ll know at once.</p>
+<p>For my son, Sosia, now to manhood grown,</p>
+<p>Had freer scope of living: for before</p>
+<p>How might you know, or how indeed divine</p>
+<p>His disposition, good or ill, while youth,</p>
+<p>Fear, and a master, all constrain’d him?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sosia.</span> True.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Though most, as is the bent of
+youth, apply</p>
+<p>Their mind to some one object, horses, hounds,</p>
+<p>Or to the study of philosophy;</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">369</span>
+<p>Yet none of these, beyond the rest, did he</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">5</span>
+<p>Pursue; and yet, in moderation, all.</p>
+<p>I was o’erjoy’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sosia.</span> And not without good cause.</p>
+<p>For this I hold to be the Golden Rule</p>
+<p>Of Life, too much of one thing’s good for nothing.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> So did he shape his life to bear
+himself</p>
+<p>With ease and frank good-humor unto all;</p>
+<p>Mix’d in what company soe’er, to them</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>He wholly did resign himself; complied</p>
+<p>With all their humours, checking nobody,</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>He wholly did resign himself; and join’d</p>
+<p>In their pursuits, opposing nobody,</p>
+<p>Nor e’er assuming to himself: and thus</p>
+<p>With ease, and free from envy, may you gain</p>
+<p>Praise, and conciliate friends.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sosia.</span> He rul’d his life</p>
+<p>By prudent maxims: for, as times go now,</p>
+<p>Compliance raises friends, and truth breeds hate.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Meanwhile, ’tis now about three
+years ago,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">6</span>
+<p>A certain woman from the isle of Andros,</p>
+<p>Came o’er to settle in this neighborhood,</p>
+<p>By poverty and cruel kindred driv’n:</p>
+<p>Handsome and young.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sosia.</span> Ah! I begin to fear</p>
+<p>Some mischief from this Andrian.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> At first</p>
+<p>Modest and thriftily, though poor, she liv’d,</p>
+<p>With her own hands a homely livelihood</p>
+<p>Scarce earning from the distaff and the loom.</p>
+<p>But when a lover came, with promis’d gold,</p>
+<p>Another, and another, as the mind</p>
+<p>Falls easily from labor to delight,</p>
+<p>She took their offers, and set up the trade.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">7</span>
+<p>They, who were then her chief gallants, by chance</p>
+<p>Drew thither, as oft happen with young men</p>
+<p>My son to join their company. <ins class = "correction second" title
+= "all quotation marks supplied from 1768 edition">“So, so!”</ins></p>
+<p>Said I within myself, “he’s smit! he has it!”</p>
+<p>And in the morning as I saw their servants</p>
+<p>Run to and fro, I’d often call, “here, boy!</p>
+<p>Prithee now, who had Chrysis yesterday?”</p>
+<p>The name of this same Andrian.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sosia.</span> I take you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> PhÊdrus they said, Clinia, or
+Niceratus,</p>
+<p>For all these three then follow’d her.&mdash;“Well, well,</p>
+<p>But what of Pamphilus?”&mdash;“Of Pamphilus!</p>
+<p>He supp’d, and paid his reck’ning.”&mdash;I was glad.</p>
+<p>Another day I made the like inquiry,</p>
+<p>But still found nothing touching Pamphilus.</p>
+<p>Thus I believ’d his virtue prov’d, and hence</p>
+<p>Thought him a miracle of continence:</p>
+<p>For he who struggles with such spirits, yet</p>
+<p>Holds in that commerce an unshaken mind,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">370</span>
+<p>May well be trusted with the governance</p>
+<p>Of his own conduct. Nor was I alone</p>
+<p>Delighted with his life, but all the world</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">8</span>
+<p>With one accord said all good things, and prais’d</p>
+<p>My happy fortunes, who possess’d a son</p>
+<p>So good, so lib’rally disposed.&mdash;In short</p>
+<p>Chremes, seduc’d by this fine character,</p>
+<p>Came of his own accord, to offer me</p>
+<p>His only daughter with a handsome portion</p>
+<p>In marriage with my son. I lik’d the match;</p>
+<p>Betroth’d my son; and this was pitch’d upon,</p>
+<p>By joint agreement, for the wedding-day.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sosia.</span> And what prevents it’s being
+so?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> I’ll tell you.</p>
+<p>In a few days, the treaty still on foot,</p>
+<p>This neighbor Chrysis dies.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sosia.</span> In happy hour:</p>
+<p>Happy for you! I was afraid of Chrysis.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> My son, on this event, was often
+there</p>
+<p>With those who were the late gallants of Chrysis;</p>
+<p>Assisted to prepare the funeral,</p>
+<p>Ever condol’d, and sometimes wept with them.</p>
+<p>This pleas’d me then; for in myself I thought,</p>
+<p><ins class = "correction second" title =
+"quotation marks supplied from 1768 edition">“Since</ins>
+merely for a small acquaintance-sake</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">9</span>
+<p>He takes this woman’s death so nearly, what</p>
+<p>If he himself had lov’d? What would he feel</p>
+<p>For me, his father?” All these things, I thought;</p>
+<p>Were but the tokens and the offices</p>
+<p>Of a humane and tender disposition.</p>
+<p>In short, on his account, e’en I myself</p>
+<p>Attend the funeral, suspecting yet</p>
+<p>No harm.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sosia.</span> And what&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> You shall hear all. The Corpse</p>
+<p>Borne forth, we follow: when among the women</p>
+<p>Attending there, I chanc’d to cast my eyes,</p>
+<p>Upon one girl, in form&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sosia.</span> Not bad,
+perhaps&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> And look; so modest, and so
+beauteous, Sosia!</p>
+<p>That nothing could exceed it. As she seem’d</p>
+<p>To grieve beyond the rest; and as her air</p>
+<p>Appear’d more liberal and ingenuous,</p>
+<p>I went and ask’d her women who she was.</p>
+<p>Sister, they said, to Chrysis: when at once</p>
+<p>It struck my mind; <ins class = "correction second" title =
+"quotation marks supplied from 1768 edition">“So!</ins> so! the secret’s
+out;</p>
+<p>Hence were those tears, and hence all that compassion!”</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">10</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sosia.</span> Alas! I fear how this affair will
+end!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Meanwhile the funeral proceeds: we
+follow;</p>
+<p>Come to the sepulchre: the body’s plac’d</p>
+<p>Upon the pile, lamented: whereupon</p>
+<p>This sister I was speaking of, all wild,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">371</span>
+<p>Ran to the flames with peril of her life.</p>
+<p>Then! there! the frighted Pamphilus betrays</p>
+<p>His well-dissembled and long-hidden love:</p>
+<p>Runs up, and takes her round the waist, and cries,</p>
+<p>“Oh my Glycerium! what is it you do?</p>
+<p>Why, why endeavor to destroy yourself?”</p>
+<p>Then she, in such a manner, that you thence</p>
+<p>Might easily perceive their long, long, love,</p>
+<p>Threw herself back into his arms, and wept,</p>
+<p>Oh how familiarly!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">11</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sosia.</span> How say you!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> I</p>
+<p>Return in anger thence, and hurt at heart,</p>
+<p>Yet had no cause sufficient for reproof.</p>
+<p><ins class = "correction second" title =
+"quotation marks supplied from 1768 edition">“What</ins> have I done?
+he’d say; or how deserv’d</p>
+<p>Reproach? or how offended, Father?&mdash;Her</p>
+<p>Who meant to cast herself into the flames,</p>
+<p>I stopped.” A fair excuse!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sosia.</span> You’re in the right;</p>
+<p>For him, who sav’d a life, if you reprove,</p>
+<p>What will you do to him that offers wrong?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Chremes next day came open-mouth’d
+to me:</p>
+<p>Oh monstrous! he had found that Pamphilus</p>
+<p>Was married to this stranger woman<ins class = "correction second"
+title = "word ‘I’ supplied from 1768 edition">. I&nbsp;</ins></p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">12</span>
+<p>Deny the fact most steadily, and he</p>
+<p>As steadily insists. In short we part</p>
+<p>On such bad terms, as let me understand</p>
+<p>He would refuse his daughter.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sosia.</span> Did not you</p>
+<p><i>Then</i> take your son to task?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Not even this</p>
+<p>Appear’d sufficient for reproof.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sosia.</span> How so?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> <ins class = "correction second"
+title = "quotation marks supplied from 1768 edition">“Father,</ins> (he
+might have said) You have, you know,</p>
+<p>Prescrib’d a term to all these things yourself.</p>
+<p>The time is near at hand, when I must live</p>
+<p>According to the humor of another.</p>
+<p>Meanwhile, permit me now to please my own!”</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sosia.</span> What cause remains to chide him
+then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> If he</p>
+<p>Refuses, on account of this amour,</p>
+<p>To take a wife, such obstinate denial</p>
+<p>Must be considered as his first offense.</p>
+<p>Wherefore I now, from this mock-nuptial,</p>
+<p>Endeavor to draw real cause to chide:</p>
+<p>And that same rascal Davus, if he’s plotting,</p>
+<p>That he may let his counsel run to waste,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">13</span>
+<p>Now, when his knaveries can do no harm:</p>
+<p>Who, I believe, with all his might and main</p>
+<p>Will strive to cross my purposes; and that</p>
+<p>More to plague me, than to oblige my son.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">372</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sosia.</span> Why so?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Why so! Bad mind, bad heart: But
+if</p>
+<p>I catch him at his tricks!&mdash;But what need words?</p>
+<p>&mdash;If, as I wish it may, it should appear</p>
+<p>That Pamphilus objects not to the match,</p>
+<p>Chremes remains to be prevail’d upon,</p>
+<p>And will, I hope, consent. ’Tis now your place</p>
+<p>To counterfeit these nuptials cunningly;</p>
+<p>To frighten Davus; and observe my son,</p>
+<p>What he’s about, what plots they hatch together.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sosia.</span> Enough; I’ll take due care. Let’s
+now go in!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Go first: I’ll follow you.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Sosia</span>.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">14</span>
+<p>Beyond all doubt</p>
+<p>My son’s averse to take a wife: I saw</p>
+<p>How frighten’d Davus was, but even now,</p>
+<p>When he was told a nuptial was preparing.</p>
+<p>But here he comes.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">15</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_I_II" id = "and_I_II">
+SCENE II.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Davus</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> (<i>to himself</i>). I thought
+’twere wonderful</p>
+<p>If this affair went off so easily;</p>
+<p>And dreaded where my master’s great good-humor</p>
+<p>Would end at last: who, after he perceiv’d</p>
+<p>The Lady was refus’d, ne’er said a word</p>
+<p>To any of us, nor e’er took it ill.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> (<i>behind</i>). But now he will;
+to your cost too, I warrant you!</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> This was his scheme; to lead us
+by the nose</p>
+<p>In a false dream of joy; then all agape</p>
+<p>With hope, even then that we were most secure,</p>
+
+<p class = "second">
+To have o’erwhelm’d us, nor allow’d us time</p>
+
+<p>To have o’erwhelm’d us, nor have giv’n us time</p>
+<p>To cast about which way to break the match.</p>
+<p>Cunning old Gentleman!</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> What says the rogue?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> My master and I did not see
+him!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Davus!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Well! what now? (<i>Pretending
+not to see him.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Here! this way!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> What can he want? (<i>To
+himself.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> (<i>overhearing</i>). What say
+you?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">16</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Upon what? Sir.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Upon what!</p>
+<p>The world reports that my son keeps a mistress.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Oh, to be sure, the world cares
+much for that.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> D’ye mind what I say? Sirrah!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Nothing more, Sir.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> But for me now to dive into these
+matters</p>
+<p>May seem perhaps like too severe a father:</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">373</span>
+<p>For all his youthful pranks concern not me.</p>
+<p>While ’twas in season, he had my free leave</p>
+<p>To take his swing of pleasure. But to-day</p>
+<p>Brings on another stage of life, and asks</p>
+<p>For other manners: wherefore I desire,</p>
+<p>Or, if you please, I do beseech you, <ins class = "correction second"
+title = "capitalized in Harper edition">Davus</ins>,</p>
+<p>To set him right again.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> What means all this?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> All, who are fond of mistresses,
+dislike</p>
+<p>The thoughts of matrimony.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> So they say.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> And then, if such a person
+entertains</p>
+<p>An evil counselor in those affairs,</p>
+<p>He tampers with the mind, and makes bad worse.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Troth, I don’t comprehend one
+word of this.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> No?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> No. I’m Davus, and not
+Oedipus.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Then for the rest I have to say to
+you,</p>
+<p>You choose I should speak plainly.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">17</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> By all means.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> If I discover then, that in this
+match</p>
+<p>You get to your dog’s tricks to break it off,</p>
+<p>Or try to show how shrewd a rogue you are,</p>
+<p>I’ll have you beat to mummy, and then thrown</p>
+<p>In prison, Sirrah! upon this condition,</p>
+<p>That when I take you out again, I swear</p>
+<p>To grind there in your stead. D’ye take me now?</p>
+<p>Or don’t you understand this neither?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Clearly.</p>
+<p>You have spoke out at last: the very thing!</p>
+<p>Quite plain and home; and nothing round about.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> I could excuse your tricks in any
+thing,</p>
+<p>Rather than this.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Good words! I beg of you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> You laugh at me: well,
+well!&mdash;I give you warning</p>
+<p>That you do nothing rashly, nor pretend</p>
+<p>You was not advertis’d of this&mdash;take heed!</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_I_III" id = "and_I_III">
+SCENE III.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Davus</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene split">
+
+<p>Troth Davus, ’tis high time to look about you;</p>
+<p>No room for sloth, as far as I can sound</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">18</span>
+<p>The sentiments of our old gentleman</p>
+<p>About this marriage, which if not fought off,</p>
+<p>And cunningly, spoils me, or my poor master.</p>
+<p>I know not what to do; nor can resolve</p>
+<p>To help the son, or to obey the father.</p>
+<p>If I desert poor Pamphilus, alas!</p>
+<p>I tremble for his life; if I assist him,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">374</span>
+<p>I dread his father’s threats: a shrewd old Cuff,</p>
+<p>Not easily deceiv’d. For first of all,</p>
+<p>He knows of this amour; and watches me</p>
+<p>With jealous eyes, lest I devise some trick</p>
+<p>To break the match. If he discovers it,</p>
+<p>Woe to poor Davus! nay, if he’s inclin’d</p>
+<p>To punish me, he’ll seize on some pretense</p>
+<p>To throw me into prison, right or wrong.</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>Another mischief too, to make bad worse,</p>
+<p>This Andrian, wife or mistress, is with child</p>
+<p>By Pamphilus. And do but mark the height</p>
+<p>Of their assurance! for ’tis certainly</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>Another mischief is, this Andrian,</p>
+<p>Mistress or wife, ’s with child by Pamphilus.</p>
+<p>And do but mark their confidence! ’tis sure</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">19</span>
+<p class = "allclear">&nbsp;</p>
+<p>The dotage of mad people, not of lovers.</p>
+<p>Whate’er she shall bring forth, they have resolv’d</p>
+<p>To educate: and have among themselves</p>
+<p>Devis’d the strangest story! that Glycerium</p>
+<p>Is an Athenian citizen. “There was</p>
+<p>Once on a time a certain merchant, shipwreck’d</p>
+<p>Upon the isle of Andros; there he died:</p>
+<p>And Chrysis’ father took this orphan-wreck,</p>
+<p>Then but an infant, under his protection.”</p>
+<p>Ridiculous! ’tis all romance to me:</p>
+<p>And yet the story pleases them. And see!</p>
+<p>Mysis comes forth. But I must to the Forum</p>
+<p>To look for Pamphilus, for fear his father</p>
+<p>Should find him first, and take him unawares.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_I_IV" id = "and_I_IV">
+SCENE IV.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Mysis</span>. (Speaking to a servant
+within.)</p>
+
+<div class = "scene full">
+
+<p>I hear, Archyllis; I hear what you say:</p>
+<p>You beg me to bring Lesbia. By my troth</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">20</span>
+<p>That Lesbia is a drunken wretch, hot-headed,</p>
+<p>Nor worthy to be trusted with a woman</p>
+<p>In her first labor. Well, well! she shall come.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Observe how earnest the old gossip is, (<i>Coming
+forward</i>)</p>
+<p>Because this Lesbia is her pot-companion.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Oh grant my mistress, Heav’n, a safe delivery,</p>
+<p>And let the midwife trespass any where</p>
+<p>Rather than here!&mdash;But what is it I see?</p>
+<p>Pamphilus all disorder’d: How I fear</p>
+<p>The cause! I’ll wait a while, that I may know</p>
+<p>If this commotion means us any ill.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_I_V" id = "and_I_V">
+SCENE V.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Pamphilus</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Mysis</span> behind.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Is this well done? or like a
+man?&mdash;Is this</p>
+<p>The action of a father?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> What’s the matter?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">375</span>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">21</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Oh all ye pow’rs of heav’n and
+earth, what’s wrong</p>
+<p>If this is not so?&mdash;If he was determin’d</p>
+<p>That I to-day should marry, should I not</p>
+<p>Have had some previous notice?&mdash;ought not he</p>
+<p>To have inform’d me of it long ago?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Alas! what’s this I hear?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> And Chremes too,</p>
+<p>Who had refus’d to trust me with his daughter,</p>
+<p>Changes his mind, because I change not mine.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">22</span>
+<p>Can he then be so obstinately bent</p>
+<p>To tear me from Glycerium? To lose her</p>
+<p>Is losing life.&mdash;Was ever man so cross’d,</p>
+<p>So curs’d as I?&mdash;Oh pow’rs of heav’n and earth!</p>
+<p>Can I by no means fly from this alliance</p>
+<p>With Chremes’ family?&mdash;so oft contemn’d</p>
+<p>And held in scorn!&mdash;all done, concluded all!&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>Rejected, then recall’d:&mdash;and why?&mdash;unless,</p>
+<p>For so I must suspect, they breed some monster,</p>
+<p>Whom as they can obtrude on no one else,</p>
+<p>They bring to me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Alas, alas! this speech</p>
+<p>Has struck me almost dead with fear.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> And then</p>
+<p>My father!&mdash;what to say of him?&mdash;Oh shame!</p>
+<p>A thing of so much consequence to treat</p>
+<p>So negligently!&mdash;For but even now</p>
+<p>Passing me in the forum, <ins class = "correction second" title =
+"quotation marks supplied from 1768 edition">“Pamphilus!</ins></p>
+<p>To-day’s your wedding-day, said he: prepare;</p>
+<p>Go, get you home!”&mdash;This sounded in my ears</p>
+<p>As if he said, “go, hang yourself!”&mdash;I stood</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">23</span>
+<p>Confounded. Think you I could speak one word?</p>
+<p>Or offer an excuse, how weak soe’er?</p>
+<p>No, I was dumb:&mdash;and had I been aware,</p>
+<p>Should any ask what I’d have done, I would,</p>
+<p>Rather than this, do any thing.&mdash;But now</p>
+<p>What to resolve upon?&mdash;So many cares</p>
+<p>Entangle me at once, and rend my mind,</p>
+<p>Pulling it diff’rent ways. My love, compassion,</p>
+<p>This urgent match, my rev’rence for my father,</p>
+<p>Who yet has ever been so gentle to me,</p>
+<p>And held so slack a rein upon my pleasures.</p>
+<p>&mdash;And I oppose him?&mdash;Racking thought!&mdash;Ah me!</p>
+<p>I know not what to do.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Alas, I fear</p>
+<p>Where this uncertainty will end. ’Twere best</p>
+<p>He should confer with her; or I at least</p>
+<p>Speak touching her to him. For while the mind</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">24</span>
+<p>Hangs in suspense, a trifle turns the scale.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Who’s there? what, Mysis! Save
+you!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Save you! Sir. (<i>Coming
+forward.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> How does she?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">376</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> How! oppress’d with
+wretchedness.</p>
+<p>To-day supremely wretched, as to-day</p>
+<p>Was formerly appointed for your wedding.</p>
+<p>And then she fears lest you desert her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> I!</p>
+<p>Desert her? Can I think on’t? or deceive</p>
+<p>A wretched maid! who trusted to my care</p>
+<p>Her life and honor. Her whom I have held</p>
+<p>Near to my heart, and cherish’d as my wife?</p>
+<p>Or leave her modest and well nurtur’d mind</p>
+<p>Through want to be corrupted? Never, never.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> No doubt, did it depend on you
+alone;</p>
+<p>But if constrain’d&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> D’ye think me then so vile?</p>
+<p>Or so ungrateful, so inhuman, savage,</p>
+<p>Neither long intercourse, nor love, nor shame,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">25</span>
+
+<p class = "second">
+Can move my soul, or make me keep my faith?</p>
+
+<p>Can make me keep my faith?</p>
+
+<p class = "allclear">&nbsp;</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> I only know, my mistress well
+deserves</p>
+<p>You should remember her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Remember her?</p>
+<p>Oh Mysis, Mysis! even at this hour,</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> I only know</p>
+<p>That she deserves you should remember her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> I should remember her? Oh, Mysis,
+Mysis!</p>
+<p>The words of Chrysis touching my Glycerium</p>
+<p>Are written in my heart. On her death-bed</p>
+<p>She call’d me. I approach’d her. You retir’d.</p>
+<p>We were alone; and Chrysis thus began:</p>
+<p><ins class = "correction second" title =
+"quotation marks supplied from 1768 edition">“My</ins>
+Pamphilus, you see the youth and beauty</p>
+<p>Of this unhappy maid: and well you know,</p>
+<p>These are but feeble guardians to preserve</p>
+<p>Her fortune or her fame. By this right hand</p>
+<p>I do beseech you, by your better angel,</p>
+<p>By your tried faith, by her forlorn condition,</p>
+<p>I do conjure you, put her not away,</p>
+<p>Nor leave her to distress. If I have ever,</p>
+<p>As my own brother, lov’d you; or if she</p>
+<p>Has ever held you dear ’bove all the world,</p>
+<p>And ever shown obedience to your will&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>I do bequeath you to her as a husband,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">26</span>
+<p>Friend, Guardian, Father: all our little wealth</p>
+<p>To you I leave, and trust it to your care.”&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>She join’d our hands, and died.&mdash;I did receive her,</p>
+<p>And once receiv’d will keep her.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> So we trust.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> What make you from her?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Going for a midwife.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">27</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Haste then! and hark, be sure take
+special heed,</p>
+<p>You mention not a word about the marriage,</p>
+<p>Lest this too give her pain.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> I understand.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">377</span>
+<h4 class = "act"><a name = "and_II" id = "and_II">
+ACT THE SECOND.</a></h4>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_II_I" id = "and_II_I">
+SCENE I.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Charinus</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Byrrhia</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> How, Byrrhia? Is she to be
+married, say you,</p>
+<p>To Pamphilus to-day?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Byr.</span> ’Tis even so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> How do you know?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Byr.</span> I had it even now</p>
+<p>From Davus at the Forum.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">28</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> Woe is me!</p>
+<p>Then I’m a wretch indeed: till now my mind</p>
+<p>Floated ’twixt hope and fear: now, hope remov’d,</p>
+<p>Stunn’d, and o’erwhelm’d, it sinks beneath its cares.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Byr.</span> Nay, prithee master, since the
+thing you wish</p>
+<p>Can not be had, e’en wish for that which may!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> I wish for nothing but
+Philumena.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Byr.</span> Ah, how much wiser were it, that
+you strove</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">29</span>
+<p>To quench this passion, than, with words like these</p>
+<p>To fan the fire, and blow it to a flame?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> How readily do men at ease
+prescribe</p>
+<p>To those who’re sick at heart! distress’d like me,</p>
+<p>You would not talk thus.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Byr.</span> Well, well, as you please.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> Ha! I see Pamphilus. I can
+resolve</p>
+<p>On any thing, e’er give up all for lost.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Byr.</span> What now?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> I will entreat him, beg, beseech
+him,</p>
+<p>Tell him our course of love, and thus, perhaps,</p>
+<p>At least prevail upon him to defer</p>
+<p>His marriage some few days: meanwhile, I hope,</p>
+<p>Something may happen.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">30</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Byr.</span> Aye, that something’s nothing.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> Byrrhia, what think you? Shall I
+speak to him?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Byr.</span> Why not? for though you don’t
+obtain your suit,</p>
+<p>He will at least imagine you’re prepar’d</p>
+<p>To cuckold him, in case he marries her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> Away, you hang-dog, with your base
+suspicions!</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_II_II" id = "and_II_II">
+SCENE II.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Pamphilus</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Charinus, save you!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> Save you, Pamphilus!</p>
+<p>Imploring comfort, safety, help, and counsel,</p>
+<p>You see me now before you.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">378</span>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Help, and counsel!</p>
+<p>I can afford you neither.&mdash;But what mean you?</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> I do lack</p>
+<p>Myself both help and counsel&mdash;But what mean you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> Is this your wedding-day?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Aye, so they say.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> Ah, Pamphilus, if so, this day</p>
+<p>You see the last of me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> How so?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> Ah me!</p>
+<p>I dare not speak it: prithee tell him, Byrrhia.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Byr.</span> Aye, that I will.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> What is’t?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Byr.</span> He is in love</p>
+<p>With your bride, Sir.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">31</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> I’ faith so am not I.</p>
+<p>Tell me, Charinus, has aught further passed</p>
+<p>’Twixt you and her?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> Ah, no, no.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Would there had!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> Now by our friendship, by my love
+I beg</p>
+<p>You would not marry her.&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> I will endeavor.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> If that’s impossible, or if this
+match</p>
+<p>Be grateful to your heart&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> My heart!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> At least</p>
+<p>Defer it some few days; while I depart,</p>
+<p>That I may not behold it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Hear, Charinus;</p>
+<p>It is, I think, scarce honesty in him</p>
+<p>To look for thanks, who means no favor. I</p>
+<p>Abhor this marriage, more than you desire it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> You have reviv’d me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Now if you, or he,</p>
+<p>Your Byrrhia here, can do or think of aught;</p>
+<p>Act, plot, devise, invent, strive all you can</p>
+<p>To make her yours; and I’ll do all I can</p>
+<p>That she may not be mine.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">32</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> Enough.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> I see</p>
+<p>Davus, and in good time: for he’ll advise</p>
+<p>What’s best to do.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> But you, you sorry rogue, (<i>To
+<span class = "charname">Byrrhia</span></i>)</p>
+<p>Can give me no advice, nor tell me aught,</p>
+<p>But what it is impertinent to know.</p>
+<p>Hence, Sirrah, get you gone!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Byr.</span> With all my heart.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_II_III" id = "and_II_III">
+SCENE III.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Davus</span> hastily.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Good Heav’ns, what news I bring!
+what joyful news!</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">379</span>
+<p>But where shall I find Pamphilus, to drive</p>
+<p>His fears away, and make him full of joy?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> There’s something pleases him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> No matter what.</p>
+<p>He has not heard of our ill fortune yet.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> And he, I warrant, if he has been
+told</p>
+<p>Of his intended wedding&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> Do you hear?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Poor soul, is running all about
+the town</p>
+<p>In quest of me. But whither shall I go?</p>
+<p>Or which way run?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> Why don’t you speak to him?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">33</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> I’ll go.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Ho! Davus! Stop, come here!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Who calls?</p>
+<p>O, Pamphilus! the very man.&mdash;Heyday!</p>
+<p>Charinus too!&mdash;Both gentlemen, well met!</p>
+<p>I’ve news for both.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> I’m ruin’d, Davus.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Hear me!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Undone!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> I know your fears.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> My life’s at stake.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Yours I know also.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Matrimony mine.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> I know it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> But to-day.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> You stun me; plague!</p>
+<p>I tell you I know ev’ry thing: you fear (<i>To <span class =
+"charname">Charinus</span>.</i>)</p>
+<p>You should <i>not</i> marry her.&mdash;You fear you <i>should.</i>
+(<i>To <span class = "charname">Pam</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> The very thing.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> The same.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> And yet that <i>same</i></p>
+<p>Is nothing. Mark!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Nay, rid me of my fear.</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> I will then. Chremes don’t intend
+his daughter</p>
+<p>Shall marry you to-day.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> No! How d’ye know?</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> I will then. Chremes</p>
+<p>Won’t give his daughter to you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> How d’ye know?</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> I’m sure of it. Your Father but
+just now</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">34</span>
+<p>Takes me aside, and tells me ’twas his will</p>
+<p>That you should wed to-day; with much beside,</p>
+<p>Which now I have not leisure to repeat.</p>
+<p>I, on the instant, hastening to find you,</p>
+<p>Run to the Forum to inform you of it:</p>
+<p>There, failing, climb an eminence, look round:</p>
+<p>No Pamphilus: I light by chance on Byrrhia;</p>
+<p>Inquire; he hadn’t seen you. Vex’d at heart,</p>
+<p><i>What’s to be done?</i> thought I. Returning thence</p>
+<p>A doubt arose within me. Ha! bad cheer,</p>
+<p>The old man melancholy, and a wedding</p>
+<p>Clapp’d up so suddenly! This don’t agree.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">380</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Well, what then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> I betook me instantly</p>
+<p>To Chremes’ house; but thither when I came,</p>
+<p>Before the door all hush. This tickled me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> You’re in the right. Proceed.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> I watch’d a while:</p>
+<p>Meantime no soul went in, no soul came out;</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">35</span>
+<p>No matron; in the house no ornament;</p>
+<p>No note of preparation. I approach’d,</p>
+<p>Look’d in&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> I understand: a potent sign!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Does this seem like a
+nuptial?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> I think not,</p>
+<p>Davus.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> <i>Think not</i>, d’ye say? you
+don’t conceive:</p>
+<p>The thing is evident. I met beside,</p>
+<p>As I departed thence, with Chremes’ boy,</p>
+<p>Bearing some pot-herbs, and a pennyworth</p>
+<p>Of little fishes for the old man’s dinner.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> I am deliver’d, Davus, by your
+means,</p>
+<p>From all my apprehensions of to-day.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> And yet you are undone.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> How so? Since Chremes</p>
+<p>Will not consent to give Philumena</p>
+<p>To Pamphilus.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Ridiculous! As if,</p>
+<p>Because the daughter is denied to him,</p>
+<p>She must of course wed you. Look to it well;</p>
+<p>Court the old Gentleman through friends, apply,</p>
+<p>Or else&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">36</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> You’re right: I will about it
+straight,</p>
+<p>Although that hope has often fail’d. Farewell.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_II_IV" id = "and_II_IV">
+SCENE IV.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<ins class = "correction second" title = "missing in Harper edition">
+<span class = "charname">Pamphilus.</span> <span class =
+"charname">Davus</span>.</ins></p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> What means my father then? Why
+counterfeit?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> That I’ll explain. If he were
+angry now,</p>
+<p>Merely that Chremes has refus’d his daughter,</p>
+<p>He’d think himself in fault; and justly too,</p>
+<p>Before the bias of your mind is known.</p>
+<p>But granting you refuse her for a wife,</p>
+<p>Then all the blame devolves on you, and then</p>
+<p>Comes all the storm.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> What course then shall I take?</p>
+<p>Shall I submit&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> He is your Father, Sir,</p>
+<p>Whom to oppose were difficult; and then</p>
+<p>Glycerium’s a lone woman; and he’ll find</p>
+<p>Some course, no matter what, to drive her hence.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> To drive her hence?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Directly.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">381</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Tell me then,</p>
+<p>Oh tell me, Davus, what were best to do?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Say that you’ll marry!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">37</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> How!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> And where’s the harm?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Say that I’ll marry!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Why not?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Never, never.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Do not refuse!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Persuade not!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Do but mark</p>
+<p>The consequence.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Divorcement from Glycerium.</p>
+<p>And marriage with the other.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> No such thing.</p>
+<p>Your father, I suppose, accosts you thus.</p>
+<p><i>I’d have you wed to-day</i>;&mdash;<i>I will</i>, quoth you:</p>
+<p>What reason has he to reproach you then?</p>
+<p>Thus shall you baffle all his settled schemes,</p>
+<p>And put him to confusion; all the while</p>
+<p>Secure yourself: for ’tis beyond a doubt</p>
+<p>That Chremes will refuse his daughter to you;</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">38</span>
+<p>So obstinately too, you need not pause,</p>
+<p>Or change these measures, lest he change his mind;</p>
+<p>Say to your father then, that you will wed,</p>
+<p>That, with the will, he may want cause to chide.</p>
+<p>But if, deluded by fond hopes, you cry,</p>
+<p>“No one will wed their daughter to a rake,</p>
+<p>A libertine.”&mdash;Alas, you’re much deceiv’d.</p>
+<p>For know, your father will redeem some wretch</p>
+<p>From rags and beggary to be your wife,</p>
+<p>Rather than see your ruin with Glycerium.</p>
+<p>But if he thinks you bear an easy mind,</p>
+<p>He too will grow indiff’rent, and seek out</p>
+<p>Another match at leisure; the mean while</p>
+<p>Affairs may take a lucky turn.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> D’ye think so?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Beyond all doubt.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> See, what you lead me to.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Nay, peace!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> I’ll say so then. But have a
+care</p>
+<p>He knows not of the child, which I’ve agreed</p>
+<p>To educate.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> O confidence!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> She drew</p>
+<p>This promise from me, as a firm assurance</p>
+<p>That I would not forsake her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> We’ll take care.</p>
+<p>But here’s your father: let him not perceive</p>
+<p>You’re melancholy.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">382</span>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">39</span>
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_II_V" id = "and_II_V">
+SCENE V.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Simo</span> at a distance.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> I return to see</p>
+<p>What they’re about, or what they meditate.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Now is he sure that you’ll refuse
+to wed.</p>
+<p>From some dark corner brooding o’er black thoughts</p>
+<p>He comes, and fancies he has fram’d a speech</p>
+<p>To disconcert you. See, you keep your ground.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> If I can, Davus.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Trust me, Pamphilus,</p>
+<p>Your father will not change a single word</p>
+<p>In anger with you, do but say you’ll wed.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_II_VI" id = "and_II_VI">
+SCENE VI.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Byrrhia</span> behind.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Byr.</span> To-day my master bade me leave all
+else</p>
+<p>For Pamphilus, and watch how he proceeds,</p>
+<p>About his marriage; wherefore I have now</p>
+<p>Followed the old man hither: yonder too</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">40</span>
+<p>Stands Pamphilus himself, and with him Davus.</p>
+<p>To business then!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> I see them both together.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Now mind. (<i>Apart to <span
+class = "charname">Pam</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Here, Pamphilus!</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Now turn about,</p>
+<p>As taken unawares. (<i>Apart.</i>)</p>
+
+<div class ="second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Who calls? my father!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Well said! (<i>Apart.</i>)</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Who calls? my father!
+(<i>Apart.</i>)</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> It is my pleasure, that
+to-day,</p>
+<p>As I have told you once before, you marry.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Now on our part, I fear what
+he’ll reply. (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> In that, and all the rest of your
+commands,</p>
+<p>I shall be ready to obey you, Sir!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Byr.</span> How’s that!
+(<i>Overhearing.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Struck dumb. (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Byr.</span> What said he?
+(<i>Listening.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> You perform</p>
+<p>Your duty, when you cheerfully comply</p>
+<p>With my desires.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> There! said I not the truth?
+(<i>Apart to <span class = "charname">Pam</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">41</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Byr.</span> My master then, so far as I can
+find,</p>
+<p>May whistle for a wife.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Now then go in</p>
+<p>That when you’re wanted you be found.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> I go.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Byr.</span> Is there no faith in the affairs of
+men?</p>
+<p>’Tis an old saying and a true one too;</p>
+<p>“Of all mankind each loves himself the best.”</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">383</span>
+<p>I’ve seen the lady; know her beautiful;</p>
+<p>And therefore sooner pardon Pamphilus,</p>
+<p>If he had rather win her to his arms,</p>
+<p>Than yield her to th’ embraces of my master.</p>
+<p>I will go bear these tidings, and receive</p>
+<p>Much evil treatment for my evil news.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">42</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_II_VII" id = "and_II_VII">
+SCENE VII.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Manent <span class = "charname">Simo</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Davus</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Now he supposes I’ve some trick
+in hand,</p>
+<p>And loiter here to practice it on him!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Well, what now, Davus?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Nothing.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Nothing, say you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Nothing at all.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> And yet I look’d for
+something.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> So, I perceive, you
+did:&mdash;This nettles him. (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Can you speak truth?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Most easily.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Say then,</p>
+<p>Is not this wedding irksome to my son,</p>
+<p>From his adventure with the Andrian?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> No faith; or if at all, ’twill
+only be</p>
+<p>Two or three days’ anxiety, you know;</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">43</span>
+<p>Then ’twill be over: for he sees the thing</p>
+<p>In its true light.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> I praise him for’t.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> While you</p>
+<p>Restrain’d him not; and while his youth allow’d</p>
+
+<p class = "second">
+’Tis true he lov’d; but even then by stealth,</p>
+
+<p>’Tis true he lov’d; and even then by stealth,</p>
+<p>As wise men ought, and careful of his fame.</p>
+<p>Now his age calls for matrimony, now</p>
+<p>To matrimony he inclines his mind.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Yet, in my eyes, he seem’d a
+little sad.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Not upon that account. He has he
+thinks</p>
+<p>Another reason to complain of you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> For what?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> A trifle.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Well, what is’t?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Nay, nothing.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Tell me, what is’t?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> You are then, he complains,</p>
+<p>Somewhat too sparing of expense.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> I?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> You.</p>
+<p>A feast of scarce ten Drachms? Does this, says he,</p>
+<p>Look like a wedding-supper for his son?</p>
+<p>What friends can I invite? especially</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">384</span>
+<p>At such a time as this?&mdash;and, truly, Sir,</p>
+<p>You have been very frugal; much too sparing.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">44</span>
+<p>I can’t commend you for it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Hold your peace.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> I’ve ruffled him.
+(<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> I’ll look to that. Away!</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Davus</span>.</p>
+<p>What now? What means the varlet? Precious rogue,</p>
+<p>For if there’s any knavery on foot,</p>
+<p>He, I am sure, is the contriver on’t.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">45</span>
+<h4 class = "act"><a name = "and_III" id = "and_III">
+ACT THE THIRD.</a></h4>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_III_I" id = "and_III_I">
+SCENE I.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Simo</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Davus</span>, coming out of <span class =
+"charname">Simo’s</span> house.&mdash;<span class =
+"charname">Mysis</span>, <span class = "charname">Lesbia</span>, going
+toward the house of <span class = "charname">Glycerium</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Aye, marry, ’tis as you say,
+Lesbia:</p>
+<p>Women scarce ever find a constant man.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> The Andrian’s maid-servant! Is’t
+not?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Aye.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> But Pamphilus&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> What says she?
+(<i>Overhearing.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Has been true.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> How’s that?
+(<i>Overhearing.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Would he were deaf, or she were
+dumb! (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> For the child, boy, or girl, he
+has resolv’d</p>
+<p>To educate.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> O Jupiter! what’s this</p>
+<p>I hear? If this be true, I’m lost indeed.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lesbia.</span> A good young Gentleman!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Oh, very good.</p>
+<p>But in, in, lest you make her wait.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lesbia.</span> I follow.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exeunt <span class = "charname">Mysis</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Lesbia</span>.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">46</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_III_II" id = "and_III_II">
+SCENE II.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Manent <span class = "charname">Simo</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Davus</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Unfortunate! What remedy!
+(<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> How’s this? (<i>To
+himself.</i>)</p>
+<p>And can he be so mad? What! educate</p>
+<p>A harlot’s child!&mdash;Ah, now I know their drift:</p>
+<p>Fool that I was, scarce smelt it out at last.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus</span> (<i>listening</i>). What’s this he
+says he has smelt out?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Imprimis, (<i>To himself.</i>)</p>
+<p>’Tis this rogue’s trick upon me. All a sham:</p>
+<p>A counterfeit deliv’ry, and mock labor,</p>
+<p>Devis’d to frighten Chremes from the match.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">385</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gly.</span> (<i>within</i>). Juno Lucina, save
+me! Help, I pray thee.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">47</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Heyday! Already! Oh
+ridiculous!</p>
+<p>Soon as she heard that I was at the door</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">48</span>
+<p>She hastens to cry out: your incidents</p>
+<p>Are ill-tim’d, Davus.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Mine, Sir?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Are your players</p>
+<p>Unmindful of their cues, and want a prompter?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> I do not comprehend you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo</span> (<i>apart.</i>) If this knave</p>
+<p>Had, in the real nuptial of my son,</p>
+<p>Come thus upon me unprepar’d, what sport,</p>
+<p>What scorn he’d have exposed me to? But now</p>
+<p>At his own peril be it. I’m secure.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">49</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_III_III" id = "and_III_III">
+SCENE III.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Re-enter <span class = "charname">Lesbia.</span>&mdash;<span class =
+"charname">Archyllis</span> appears at the door.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lesbia</span> <i>to <span class =
+"charname">Archyllis</span> (within)</i>. As yet, Archyllis, all the
+symptoms seem</p>
+<p>As good as might be wish’d in her condition:</p>
+<p>First, let her make ablution: after that,</p>
+<p>Drink what I’ve order’d her, and just so much:</p>
+<p>And presently I will be here again. (<i>Coming forward.</i>)</p>
+<p>Now, by this good day, Master Pamphilus</p>
+<p>Has got a chopping boy: Heav’n grant it live!</p>
+<p>For he’s a worthy Gentleman, and scorn’d</p>
+<p>To do a wrong to this young innocent.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_III_IV" id = "and_III_IV">
+SCENE IV.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<ins class = "correction second" title = "missing in Harper edition">
+Manent <span class = "charname">Simo</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Davus</span>.</ins></p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> This too where’s he that knows you
+would not swear</p>
+<p>Was your contrivance?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> My contrivance! what, Sir?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> While in the house, forsooth, the
+midwife gave</p>
+<p>No orders for the Lady in the straw:</p>
+<p>But having issued forth into the street,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">50</span>
+<p>Bawls out most lustily to those within.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Oh Davus, am I then so much your scorn?</p>
+<p>Seem I so proper to be play’d upon,</p>
+<p>With such a shallow, barefac’d, imposition?</p>
+<p>You might at least, in reverence, have us’d</p>
+<p>Some spice of art, wer’t only to pretend</p>
+<p>You fear’d my anger, should I find you out.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> I’ faith now he deceives himself,
+not I. (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Did not I give you warning?
+threaten too,</p>
+<p>In case you play’d me false? But all in vain:</p>
+<p>For what car’d you?&mdash;What! think you I believe</p>
+<p>This story of a child by Pamphilus?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> I see his error: Now I know my
+game. (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Why don’t you answer?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">386</span>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> What! you don’t believe it!</p>
+<p>As if you had not been informed of this? (<i>Archly.</i>)</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Inform’d?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> What then you found it out
+yourself?</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> I been inform’d?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> What then you found it out?
+(<i>Archly.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> D’ye laugh at me?</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> You must have been inform’d:</p>
+<p>Or whence this shrewd suspicion?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Whence! from you:</p>
+<p>Because I know you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Meaning, this was done</p>
+<p>By my advice?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Beyond all doubt; I know it:</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> You do not know me,
+Simo.&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">51</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> I not know you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> For if I do but speak,
+immediately</p>
+<p>You think yourself impos’d on.&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Falsely, hey?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> So that I dare not ope my lips
+before you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> All that I know is this; that
+nobody</p>
+<p>Has been deliver’d here.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> You’ve found it out?</p>
+<p>Yet by-and-by they’ll bring the bantling here,</p>
+<p>And lay it at our door. Remember, Sir,</p>
+<p>I give you warning that will be the case;</p>
+<p>That you may stand prepar’d, nor after say,</p>
+<p>’Twas done by Davus’s advice, his tricks!</p>
+<p>I would fain cure your ill opinion of me.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> But how d’ye know?</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> I’ve heard so, and believe
+so.</p>
+<p>Besides a thousand different things concur</p>
+<p>To lead to this conjecture. First, Glycerium</p>
+<p>Profess’d herself with child by Pamphilus:</p>
+<p>That proves a falsehood. Now as she perceives</p>
+<p>A nuptial preparation at our house,</p>
+<p>A maid’s immediately dispatch’d to bring</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> I’ve heard so, and believe
+so.</p>
+<p>Besides a thousand things concur to lead</p>
+<p>To this conjecture. In the first place, she</p>
+<p>Profess’d herself with child by Pamphilus:</p>
+<p>That proves a falsehood. Now that she perceives</p>
+<p>A nuptial preparation at our house,</p>
+<p>A maid’s dispatch’d immediately to bring</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">52</span>
+<p>A midwife to her, and withal a child;</p>
+<p>You too they will contrive shall see the child,</p>
+<p>Or else the wedding must proceed.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> How’s this?</p>
+<p>Having discover’d such a plot on foot,</p>
+<p>Why did you not directly tell my son?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Who then has drawn him from her
+but myself?</p>
+<p>For we all know how much he doted on her:</p>
+<p>But now he wishes for a wife. In fine,</p>
+<p>Leave that affair to me; and you meanwhile</p>
+<p>Pursue, as you’ve begun, the nuptials; which</p>
+<p>The Gods, I hope, will prosper!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Get you in.</p>
+<p>Wait for me there, and see that you prepare</p>
+<p>What’s requisite.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Davus</span>.</p>
+<p>He has not wrought upon me</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">387</span>
+<p>To yield implicit credit to his tale,</p>
+<p>Nor do I know if all he said be true.</p>
+<p>But, true or false, it matters not: to me</p>
+<p>My Son’s own promise is the main concern.</p>
+<p>Now to meet Chremes, and to beg his daughter</p>
+<p>In marriage with my son. If I succeed,</p>
+<p>What can I rather wish, than to behold</p>
+<p>Their marriage-rites to-day? For since my son</p>
+<p>Has given me his word, I’ve not a doubt,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">53</span>
+<p>Should he refuse, but I may force him to it:</p>
+<p>And to my wishes see where Chremes comes.</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene -->
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_III_V" id = "and_III_V">
+SCENE V.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Chremes</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Chremes, good-day!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> The very man I look’d for.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> And I for you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Well met.&mdash;Some persons
+came</p>
+<p>To tell me you inform’d them, that my daughter</p>
+<p>Was to be married to your son to-day:</p>
+<p>And therefore came I here, and fain would know</p>
+<p>Whether ’tis you or they have lost their wits.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> A moment’s hearing; you shall be
+inform’d,</p>
+<p>What I request, and what you wish to know.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> I hear: what would you?
+speak.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Now by the Gods;</p>
+<p>Now by our friendship, Chremes, which begun</p>
+<p>In infancy, has still increas’d with age;</p>
+<p>Now by your only daughter, and my son,</p>
+<p>Whose preservation wholly rests on you;</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">54</span>
+<p>Let me entreat this boon: and let the match</p>
+<p>Which should have been, still be.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Why, why entreat?</p>
+<p>Knowing you ought not to beseech this of me.</p>
+<p>Think you that I am other than I was,</p>
+<p>When first I gave my promise? If the match</p>
+<p>Be good for both, e’en call them forth to wed.</p>
+<p>But if their union promises more harm</p>
+<p>Than good to both, you also, I beseech you,</p>
+<p>Consult our common interest, as if</p>
+<p>You were her father, Pamphilus my son.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> E’en in that spirit, I desire it,
+Chremes,</p>
+<p>Entreat it may be done; nor would entreat,</p>
+<p>But that occasion urges.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> What occasion?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> A diff’rence ’twixt Glycerium and
+my son.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> I hear.
+(<i>Ironically.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> A breach so wide as gives me
+hopes</p>
+<p>To sep’rate them forever.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">388</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Idle tales!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Indeed ’tis thus.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Aye marry, thus it is.</p>
+<p>Quarrels of lovers but renew their love.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Prevent we then, I pray, this
+mischief now;</p>
+<p>While time permits, while yet his passion’s sore</p>
+<p>From contumelies; ere these women’s wiles,</p>
+<p>Their wicked arts, and tears made up of fraud</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">55</span>
+<p>Shake his weak mind, and melt it to compassion.</p>
+<p>Give him a wife: by intercourse with her,</p>
+<p>Knit by the bonds of wedlock, soon I hope,</p>
+<p>He’ll rise above the guilt that sinks him now.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> So you believe: for me, I can
+not think</p>
+<p>That he’ll be constant, or that I can bear it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> How can you know, unless you make
+the trial?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Aye, but to make that trial on
+a daughter</p>
+<p>Is hard indeed.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> The mischief, should he fail,</p>
+<p>Is only this: divorce, which Heav’n forbid!</p>
+<p>But mark what benefits if he amend!</p>
+<p>First, to your friend you will restore a son;</p>
+<p>Gain to yourself a son-in-law, and match</p>
+<p>Your daughter to an honest husband.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Well!</p>
+<p>Since you’re so thoroughly convinc’d ’tis right,</p>
+<p>I can deny you naught that lies in me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> I see I ever lov’d you justly,
+Chremes.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> But then&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> But what?</p>
+
+<p class = "second first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> From whence are you
+appriz’d</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Whence is’t you know</p>
+<p>That there’s a difference between them?</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Davus,</p>
+<p>Davus, in all their secrets, told me so;</p>
+<p>Advis’d me too, to hasten on the match</p>
+<p>As fast as possible. Would he, d’ye think,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">56</span>
+<p>Do that, unless he were full well assur’d</p>
+<p>My son desir’d it too?&mdash;Hear, what he says.</p>
+<p>Ho there! call Davus forth.&mdash;But here he comes.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_III_VI" id = "and_III_VI">
+SCENE VI.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Davus</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> I was about to seek you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> What’s the matter?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Why is not the bride sent for? it
+grows late.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> D’ye hear him?&mdash;Davus, I for
+some time past</p>
+<p>Was fearful of you; lest, like other slaves,</p>
+<p>As slaves go now, you should put tricks upon me,</p>
+<p>And baffle me, to favor my son’s love.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> I, Sir?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">389</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> I thought so: and in fear of
+that</p>
+<p>Conceal’d a secret which I’ll now disclose.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> What secret, Sir?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> I’ll tell you: for I now</p>
+<p>Almost begin to think you may be trusted.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> You’ve found what sort of man I
+am at last.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> No marriage was intended.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> How! none!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> None.</p>
+<p>All counterfeit, to sound my son and you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> How say you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Even so.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">57</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Alack, alack!</p>
+<p>I never could have thought it. Ah, what art! (<i>Archly.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Hear me. No sooner had I sent you
+in.</p>
+<p>But opportunely I encountered Chremes.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> How! are we ruin’d then?
+(<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> I told him all.</p>
+<p>That you had just told me,&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Confusion! how?
+(<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Begged him to grant his daughter,
+and at length</p>
+<p>With much ado prevail’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Undone! (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> How’s that?
+(<i>Overhearing.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Well done! I said.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> My good friend Chremes then</p>
+<p>Is now no obstacle.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> I’ll home a while,</p>
+<p>Order due preparations, and return.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Prithee, now, Davus, seeing you
+alone</p>
+<p>Have brought about this match&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Yes, I alone.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Endeavor farther to amend my
+son.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Most diligently.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> It were easy now,</p>
+<p>While his mind’s irritated.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Be at peace.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">58</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Do then: where is he?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Probably at home.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> I’ll in, and tell him, what I’ve
+now told you.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_III_VII" id = "and_III_VII">
+SCENE VII.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Davus</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>Lost and undone! To prison with me straight!</p>
+<p>No prayer, no plea: for I have ruin’d all!</p>
+<p>Deceiv’d the old man, hamper’d Pamphilus</p>
+<p>With marriage; marriage, brought about to-day</p>
+<p>By my sole means; beyond the hopes of one;</p>
+<p>Against the other’s will.&mdash;&mdash;Oh, cunning fool!</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">390</span>
+<p>Had I been quiet, all had yet been well.</p>
+<p>But see, he’s coming. Would my neck were broken!
+(<i>Retires.</i>)</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_III_VIII" id = "and_III_VIII">
+SCENE VIII.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Pamphilus</span>; <span class =
+"charname">Davus</span> behind.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Where is this villain that has
+ruined me?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> I’m a lost man.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> And yet I must confess,</p>
+<p>That I deserv’d this, being such a dolt,</p>
+<p>A very idiot, to commit my fortunes</p>
+<p>To a vile slave. I suffer for my folly,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">59</span>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>But will at least take vengeance upon him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Let me but once escape the
+present danger,</p>
+<p>I’ll answer for hereafter.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>But will at least take vengeance on him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> If I can but escape this mischief
+now,</p>
+<p>I’ll answer for hereafter.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> To my father</p>
+<p>What shall I say?&mdash;And can I then refuse,</p>
+<p>Who have but now consented? with what face?</p>
+<p>I know not what to do.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> I’faith, nor I;</p>
+<p>And yet it takes up all my thoughts. I’ll tell him</p>
+<p>I’ve hit on something to delay the match.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Oh! (<i>Seeing <span class =
+"charname">Davus</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> I am seen.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> So, good Sir! What say you?</p>
+<p>See, how I’m hamper’d with your fine advice.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus</span> (<i>coming forward</i>). But I’ll
+deliver you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Deliver me?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Certainly, Sir.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> What, as you did just now?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Better, I hope.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> And can you then believe</p>
+<p>That I would trust you, rascal? You amend</p>
+<p>My broken fortunes, or redeem them lost?</p>
+<p>You, who to-day, from the most happy state,</p>
+<p>Have thrown me upon marriage.&mdash;Did not I</p>
+<p>Foretell it would be thus?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> You did indeed.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">60</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> And what do you deserve for
+this?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> The gallows.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Yet suffer me to take a little breath,</p>
+<p>I’ll devise something presently.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Alas,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">61</span>
+<p>I have not leisure for your punishment.</p>
+<p>The time demands attention to myself,</p>
+<p>Nor will be wasted in revenge on you.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">391</span>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">62</span>
+<h4 class = "act"><a name = "and_IV" id = "and_IV">
+ACT THE FOURTH.</a></h4>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_IV_I" id = "and_IV_I">
+SCENE I.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Charinus</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>Is this to be believ’d, or to be told?</p>
+<p>Can then such inbred malice live in man,</p>
+<p>To joy in ill, and from another’s woes</p>
+<p>To draw his own delight?&mdash;Ah, is’t then so?</p>
+<p>&mdash;Yes, such there are, the meanest of mankind,</p>
+<p>Who, from a sneaking bashfulness, at first</p>
+<p>Dare not refuse; but when the time comes on</p>
+<p>To make their promise good, then force <ins class = "correction
+second" title =
+"Harper edition has ‘per force’ in two words">perforce</ins></p>
+<p>Open themselves and fear: yet must deny.</p>
+<p>Then too, oh shameless impudence, they cry,</p>
+<p>“Who then are you? and what are you to me?</p>
+<p>Why should I render up my love to you?</p>
+<p>Faith, neighbor, charity begins at home.”</p>
+<p>&mdash;Speak of their broken faith, they blush not, they,</p>
+<p>Now throwing off that shame they ought to wear,</p>
+<p>Which they before assum’d without a cause.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">63</span>
+<p>&mdash;What shall I do? go to him? on my wrongs</p>
+<p>Expostulate, and throw reproaches on him?</p>
+<p>What will that profit, say you?&mdash;&mdash;very much.</p>
+<p>I shall at least imbitter his delight,</p>
+<p>And gratify my anger.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_IV_II" id = "and_IV_II">
+SCENE II.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+To him <span class = "charname">Pamphilus</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Davus</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Oh, Charinus,</p>
+<p>By my imprudence, unless Heav’n forefend,</p>
+<p>I’ve ruin’d both myself and you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> Imprudence!</p>
+<p>Paltry evasion! you have broke your faith.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> What now?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> And do you think that words like
+these</p>
+<p>Can baffle me again?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> What means all this?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> Soon as I told you of my passion
+for her,</p>
+<p>Then she had charms for you.&mdash;&mdash;Ah, senseless fool,</p>
+<p>To judge your disposition by my own!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> You are mistaken.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> Was your joy no joy,</p>
+<p>Without abusing a fond lover’s mind,</p>
+<p>Fool’d on with idle hopes?&mdash;Well, take her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Take her?</p>
+<p>Alas, you know not what a wretch I am:</p>
+<p>How many cares this slave has brought upon me,</p>
+<p>My rascal here.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">392</span>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">64</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> No wonder if he takes</p>
+<p>Example from his master.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Ah, you know not</p>
+<p>Me, or my love, or else you would not talk thus.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> Oh yes, I know it all. You had but
+now</p>
+<p>A dreadful altercation with your father:</p>
+<p>And therefore he’s enrag’d, nor could prevail</p>
+<p>On you, forsooth, to wed. (<i>Ironically.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> To show you then,</p>
+<p>How little you conceive of my distress,</p>
+<p>These nuptials were mere semblance, mock’ry all,</p>
+<p>Nor was a wife intended me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> I know it:</p>
+<p>You are constrain’d, poor man, by inclination.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Nay, but have patience! you don’t
+know&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> I know</p>
+<p>That you’re to marry her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Why rack me thus?</p>
+<p>Nay hear! he never ceas’d to importune</p>
+<p>That I would tell my father, I would wed;</p>
+<p>So press’d, and urg’d, that he at length prevail’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> Who did this?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Davus.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> Davus!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Davus all.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> Wherefore?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> I know not: but I know the Gods</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">65</span>
+<p>Meant in their anger I should listen to him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> Is it so, Davus?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Even so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> How, villain?</p>
+<p>The Gods confound you for it!&mdash;Tell me, wretch</p>
+<p>Had all his most inveterate foes desir’d</p>
+<p>To throw him on this marriage, what advice</p>
+<p>Could they have given else?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> I am deceiv’d,</p>
+<p>But not dishearten’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> True. (<i>Ironically.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> This way has fail’d;</p>
+<p>We’ll try another way: unless you think</p>
+<p>Because the business has gone ill at first,</p>
+<p>We can not graft advantage on misfortune.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Oh aye, I warrant you, if you look
+to ’t,</p>
+<p>Out of one wedding you can work me two.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Pamphilus, ’tis my duty, as your
+slave,</p>
+<p>To strive with might and main, by day and night</p>
+<p>With hazard of my life, to do you service:</p>
+<p>’Tis yours, if I am cross’d, to pardon me.</p>
+<p>My undertakings fail indeed, but then</p>
+<p>I spare no pains. Do better, if you can,</p>
+<p>And send me packing.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">393</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Aye, with all my heart:</p>
+<p>Place me but where you found me first.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> I will.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">66</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> But do it instantly.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Hist! hold a while:</p>
+<p>I hear the creaking of Glycerium’s door.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Nothing to you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> I’m thinking.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> What, at last?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Your business shall be done, and
+presently.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_IV_III" id = "and_IV_III">
+<ins class = "correction harper" title =
+"1768 edition reads ‘SEENE’">SCENE</ins> III.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Mysis</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis</span> <i>to <span class =
+"charname">Glycerium</span> (within)</i>. Be where he will, I’ll find
+your Pamphilus,</p>
+<p>And bring him with me. Meanwhile, you, my soul,</p>
+<p>Forbear to vex yourself.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Mysis!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Who’s there?</p>
+<p>Oh Pamphilus, well met, Sir!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> What’s the matter?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> My mistress, by the love you bear
+her, begs</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">67</span>
+<p>Your presence instantly. She longs to see you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Ah, I’m undone: This sore breaks
+out afresh.</p>
+<p>Unhappy that we are, through your curs’d means,</p>
+<p>To be tormented thus. (<i>To <span class =
+"charname">Davus</span>.</i>)&mdash;She has been told</p>
+<p>A nuptial is prepar’d and therefore sends.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> From which how safe you were, had
+he been quiet! (<i>Pointing to <span class =
+"charname">Davus</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Aye, if he raves not of himself
+enough,</p>
+<p>Do, irritate him. (<i>To <span class =
+"charname">Charinus</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Truly that’s the cause;</p>
+<p>And therefore ’tis, poor soul, she sorrows thus.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Mysis, I swear to thee by all the
+Gods,</p>
+<p>I never will desert her: though assur’d</p>
+<p>That I for her make all mankind my foes.</p>
+<p>I sought her, carried her: our hearts are one,</p>
+<p>And farewell they that wish us put asunder!</p>
+<p>Death, naught but death shall part us.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> I revive.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Apollo’s oracles are not more
+true.</p>
+<p>If that my father may be wrought upon,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">68</span>
+<p>To think I hinder’d not the match, ’tis well:</p>
+<p>But if that can not be, come what come may,</p>
+<p>Why let him know, ’twas I&mdash;What think you now? (<i>To <span
+class = "charname">Charinus</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> That we are wretches both.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> My brain ’s at work.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> O brave!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">394</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> I know what you’d attempt.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Well, well!</p>
+<p>I will effect it for you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Aye, but now.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> E’en now.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> What is’t?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> For him, Sir, not for you.</p>
+<p>Be not mistaken.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> I am satisfied.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Say, what do you propose?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> This day, I fear,</p>
+<p>Is scarce sufficient for the execution,</p>
+<p>So think not I have leisure to relate.</p>
+<p>Hence then! you hinder me: hence, hence I say.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> I’ll to Glycerium.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Well, and what mean you?</p>
+<p>Whither will you, Sir?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> Shall I speak the truth?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Oh to be sure: now for a tedious
+tale!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> What will become of me?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">69</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> How! not content!</p>
+<p>Is it not then sufficient, if I give you</p>
+<p>The respite of a day, a little day,</p>
+<p>By putting off his wedding?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> Aye, but Davus,&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> But what?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> That I may wed&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Ridiculous!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> If you succeed, come to me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Wherefore come?</p>
+<p>I can’t assist you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> Should it so fall
+out&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Well, well, I’ll come.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> If aught, I am at home.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_IV_IV" id = "and_IV_IV">
+SCENE IV.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Manent <span class = "charname">Davus</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Mysis</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Mysis, wait here till I come
+forth.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> For what?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> It must be so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Make haste then.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> In a moment.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit to <span class = "charname">Glycerium’s</span>.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">70</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_IV_V" id = "and_IV_V">
+SCENE V.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>Can we securely then count nothing ours?</p>
+<p>Oh all ye Gods! I thought this Pamphilus</p>
+<p>The greatest good my mistress could obtain,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">395</span>
+<p>Friend, lover, husband, ev’ry way a blessing:</p>
+<p>And yet what woe, poor wretch, endures she not</p>
+<p>On his account? Alas, more ill than good.</p>
+<p>But here comes Davus.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_IV_VI" id = "and_IV_VI">
+SCENE VI.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Re-enter <span class = "charname">Davus</span> with the child.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Prithee, man, what now?</p>
+<p>Where are you carrying the child?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Oh, Mysis,</p>
+<p>Now have I need of all your ready wit,</p>
+<p>And all your cunning.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> What are you about?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Quick, take the boy, and lay him
+at our door.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> What, on the bare ground?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> From the altar then</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">71</span>
+<p>Take herbs and strew them underneath.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> And why</p>
+<p>Can’t you do that yourself?</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Because, supposing</p>
+<p>There should be need to swear to my old master</p>
+<p>I did not lay the bantling there myself</p>
+<p>I may with a safe conscience.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> I conceive.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Because, that if</p>
+<p>My master chance to put me to my oath</p>
+<p>That ’twas not I who laid it there, I may</p>
+<p>With a safe conscience swear. (<i>Gives her the child.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> I understand.</p>
+<p>But pray how came this sudden qualm upon you?</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Nay, but be quick, that you may
+comprehend</p>
+<p>What I propose.&mdash; (<i><span class = "charname">Mysis</span> lays
+the child at <span class = "charname">Simo’s</span> door.</i>)</p>
+<p>Oh Jupiter! (<i>Looking out.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> What now?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Here comes the father of the
+bride!&mdash;I change</p>
+<p>My first-intended purpose.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">72</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> What you mean</p>
+<p>I can’t imagine.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> This way from the right,</p>
+<p>I’ll counterfeit to come:&mdash;And be’t your care</p>
+<p>To throw in aptly now and then a word,</p>
+<p>To help out the discourse as need requires.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Still what you’re at, I can not
+comprehend.</p>
+<p>But if I can assist, as you know best,</p>
+<p>Not to obstruct your purposes, I’ll stay. (<i><span class =
+"charname">Davus</span> retires.</i>)</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_IV_VII" id = "and_IV_VII">
+SCENE VII.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Chremes</span> going toward <span class =
+"charname">Simo’s</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Having provided all things
+necessary.</p>
+<p>I now return to bid them call the bride.</p>
+<p>What’s here? (<i>seeing the child</i>) by Hercules, a child! Ha,
+woman,</p>
+<p>Was’t you that laid it here?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">396</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Where is he gone? (<i>Looking
+after <span class = "charname">Davus</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> What, won’t you answer me?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> (<i>Looking about.</i>) Not here:
+Ah me!</p>
+<p>The fellow’s gone, and left me in the lurch.</p>
+
+<p class = "stagedir">
+<span class = "charname">Davus</span> coming forward and pretending not
+to see them.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Good Heavens, what confusion at
+the Forum!</p>
+<p>The people all disputing with each other!</p>
+<p>The market-price is so confounded high. (<i>Loud.</i>)</p>
+<p>What to say else I know not. (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">73</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Davus</span></i>). What d’ye mean,</p>
+<p class = "stagedir">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes</span> retires and listens to their
+conversation.</p>
+<p>By leaving me alone?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> What farce is this?</p>
+<p>Ha, Mysis, whence this child? Who brought it here?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Have you your wits, to ask me
+such a question?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Whom should I ask, when no one
+else is here?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes</span> (<i>behind</i>). I wonder whence
+it comes. (<i>To himself.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Wilt answer me!
+(<i>Loud.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Ah! (<i>Confused.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> This way to the right! (<i>Apart
+to <span class = "charname">Mysis</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> You’re raving mad.</p>
+<p>Was ’t not yourself!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> I charge you not a word,</p>
+<p>But what I ask you. (<i>Apart to <span class =
+"charname">Mysis</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Do you threaten me?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Whence comes this child?
+(<i>Loud.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> From our house.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Ha! ha! ha!</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">74</span>
+<p>No wonder that a harlot has assurance.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> This is the Andrian’s
+servant-maid, I take it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Do we then seem to you such
+proper folks</p>
+<p>To play these tricks upon? (<i>Loud to <span class =
+"charname">Mysis</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> I came in time. (<i>To
+himself.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Make haste, and take your
+bantling from our door. (<i>Loud.</i>)</p>
+<p>Hold! do not stir from where you are, <ins class = "correction
+second" title = "Harper edition has ‘besure’ without space">be
+sure</ins>. (<i>Softly.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> A plague upon you: you so terrify
+me!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Wench, did I speak to you or no?
+(<i>Loud.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> What would you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> What would I? Say, whose child
+have you laid here?</p>
+<p>Tell me. (<i>Loud.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> You don’t know?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Plague of what I know:</p>
+<p>Tell what I ask. (<i>Softly.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Yours.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Ours? Whose? (<i>Loud.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Pamphilus’s.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> How say you? Pamphilus’s?
+(<i>Loud.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "second first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> To be sure.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Why is ’t not?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> I had good cause to be against
+this match. (<i>To himself.</i>)</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">397</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> O monstrous impudence!
+(<i>Bawling.</i>)</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Why all this noise?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Did not I see this child convey’d
+by stealth</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">75</span>
+<p>Into your house last night?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Oh rogue!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> ’Tis true.</p>
+<p>I saw old Canthara stuff’d out?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Thank Heav’n,</p>
+<p>Some free-women were present at her labor?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Troth, she don’t know the
+gentleman, for whom</p>
+<p>She plays this game. She thinks, should Chremes see</p>
+<p>The child laid here, he would not grant his daughter.</p>
+<p>Faith, he would grant her the more willingly.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Not he indeed. (<i>To
+himself.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> But now, one word for all,</p>
+<p>Take up the child; or I shall trundle him</p>
+<p>Into the middle of the street, and roll</p>
+<p>You, madam, in the mire.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> The fellow’s drunk.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> One piece of knavery begets
+another:</p>
+<p>Now, I am told, ’tis whisper’d all about,</p>
+<p>That she’s a citizen of Athens&mdash; (<i>Loud.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> How!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> And that by law he will be forc’d
+to wed her.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">76</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Why prithee is she not a
+citizen?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> What a fine scrape was I within
+a hair</p>
+<p>Of being drawn into! (<i>To himself.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> What voice is that? (<i>Turning
+about.</i>)</p>
+<p>Oh Chremes! you are come in time. Attend!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> I have heard all already.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> You’ve heard all?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Yes all, I say, from first to
+last.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Indeed?</p>
+<p>Good lack, what knaveries! this lying jade</p>
+<p>Should be dragg’d hence to torture.&mdash;This is he! (<i>To <span
+class = "charname">Mysis</span>.</i>)</p>
+<p>Think not ’twas Davus you impos’d upon.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Ah me!&mdash;Good Sir, I spoke
+the truth indeed.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> I know the whole.&mdash;Is Simo
+in the house?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Yes, Sir.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Chremes</span>.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_IV_VIII" id = "and_IV_VIII">
+SCENE VIII.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Manent <span class = "charname">Davus</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Mysis.</span> <span class = "charname">Davus</span> runs up
+to her.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Don’t offer to touch me, you
+villain!</p>
+<p>If I don’t tell my mistress every word&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">77</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Why you don’t know, you fool,
+what good we’ve done.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> How should I?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> This is father to the bride:</p>
+<p>Nor could it otherwise have been contriv’d</p>
+<p>That he should know what we would have him.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">398</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Well,</p>
+<p>You should have given me notice.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Is there then</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">78</span>
+<p>No diff’rence, think you, whether all you say</p>
+<p>Falls natural from the heart, or comes</p>
+<p>From dull premeditation?</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_IV_IX" id = "and_IV_IX">
+SCENE IX.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Crito</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Crito.</span> In this street</p>
+<p>They say that Chrysis liv’d: who rather chose</p>
+<p>To heap up riches here by wanton ways,</p>
+<p>Than to live poor and honestly at home:</p>
+<p>She dead, her fortune comes by law to me.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">79</span>
+<p>But I see persons to inquire of. (<i>Goes up.</i>) Save you!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Good now, who’s that I see? is it
+not Crito,</p>
+<p>Chrysis’s kinsman? Aye, the very same.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Crito.</span> O Mysis, save you!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Save you, Crito!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Crito.</span> Chrysis</p>
+<p>Is then&mdash;ha?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Aye, she has left us, poor
+souls!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Crito.</span> And ye; how go ye on
+here?&mdash;pretty well?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> We?&mdash;as we <i>can</i>, as
+the old saying goes,</p>
+<p>When as we <i>would</i> we can not.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Crito.</span> And Glycerium,</p>
+<p>Has she found out her parents?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Would she had!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Crito.</span> Not yet! an ill wind blew me
+hither then.</p>
+<p>For truly, had I been appris’d of that,</p>
+<p>I’d ne’er have set foot here: for this Glycerium</p>
+<p>Was always call’d and thought to be her sister.</p>
+<p>What Chrysis left, she takes possession of:</p>
+<p>And now for me, a stranger, to commence</p>
+<p>A lawsuit here, how good and wise it were,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">80</span>
+<p>Other examples teach me. She, I warrant,</p>
+<p>Has got her some gallant too, some defender:</p>
+<p>For she was growing up a jolly girl</p>
+<p>When first she journeyed hither. They will cry</p>
+<p>That I’m a pettifogger, fortune-hunter,</p>
+<p>A beggar.&mdash;And besides it were not well</p>
+<p>To leave her in distress.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Good soul! troth Crito,</p>
+<p>You have the good old-fashion’d honesty.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Crito.</span> Well, since I am arriv’d here,
+bring me to her,</p>
+<p>That I may see her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mysis.</span> Aye, with all my heart.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> I will in with them: for I would
+not choose</p>
+<p>That our old gentleman should see me now.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exeunt.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">399</span>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">81</span>
+<h4 class = "act"><a name = "and_V" id = "and_V">
+ACT THE FIFTH.</a></h4>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_V_I" id = "and_V_I">
+SCENE I.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Simo</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Enough already, Simo, and
+enough</p>
+<p>I’ve shown my friendship for you; hazarded</p>
+<p>Enough of peril: urge me then no more!</p>
+<p>Wishing to please you, I had near destroy’d</p>
+<p>My daughter’s peace and happiness forever.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Ah, Chremes, I must now entreat
+the more,</p>
+<p>More urge you to confirm the promis’d boon.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Mark, how unjust you are
+through willfulness!</p>
+<p>So you obtain what you demand, you set</p>
+<p>No bounds to my compliance, nor consider</p>
+<p>What you request; for if you did consider,</p>
+<p>You’d cease to load me with these injuries.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> What injuries?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Is that a question now?</p>
+<p>Have you not driven me to plight my child</p>
+<p>To one possess’d with other love, averse</p>
+<p>To marriage; to expose her to divorce,</p>
+<p>And crazy nuptials; by her woe and bane</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">82</span>
+<p>To work a cure for your distemper’d son?</p>
+<p>You had prevail’d: I travel’d in the match,</p>
+<p>While circumstances would admit; but now</p>
+<p>The case is chang’d, content you:&mdash;It is said</p>
+<p>That she’s a citizen; a child is born:</p>
+<p>Prithee excuse us!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Now, for Heav’n’s sake.</p>
+<p>Believe not them, whose interest it is</p>
+<p>To make him vile and abject as themselves.</p>
+<p>These stories are all feign’d, concerted all,</p>
+<p>To break the match: when the occasion’s past</p>
+<p>That urges them to this, they will desist.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Oh, you mistake: e’en now I saw
+the maid</p>
+<p>Wrangling with Davus.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Artifice! mere trick.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Aye, but in earnest; and when
+neither knew</p>
+<p>That I was there.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> It may be so: and Davus</p>
+<p>Told me beforehand they’d attempt all this;</p>
+<p>Though I, I know not how, forgot to tell you.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_V_II" id = "and_V_II">
+SCENE II.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Davus</span> from <span class =
+"charname">Glycerium’s</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus</span> (<i>to himself</i>). He may be
+easy now, I warrant him&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">400</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> See yonder’s Davus.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">83</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Ha! whence comes the rogue?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> By my assistance, and this
+stranger’s safe. (<i>To himself.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> What mischief’s this?
+(<i>Listening.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> A more commodious man,</p>
+<p>Arriving just in season, at a time</p>
+<p>So critical, I never knew. (<i>To himself.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> A knave!</p>
+<p>Who’s that he praises? (<i>Listening.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> All is now secure. (<i>To
+himself.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Why don’t I speak to him?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> My master here! (<i>Turning
+about.</i>)</p>
+<p>What shall I do? (<i>To himself.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Good Sir, your humble Servant!
+(<i>Sneering.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Oh, Simo! and our
+Chremes!&mdash;All is now</p>
+<p>Prepar’d within.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> You’ve taken special care.
+(<i>Ironically.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> E’en call them when you
+please.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Oh, mighty fine!</p>
+<p>That to be sure is all that’s wanting now.</p>
+<p>&mdash;But tell me, Sir! what business had you there? (<i>Pointing to
+<span class = "charname">Glycerium’s</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> I? (<i>Confused.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> You?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> I&mdash;?
+(<i>Stammering.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> You, Sir.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> I went in but now.
+(<i>Disordered.</i>)</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">84</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> As if I ask’d, how long it was
+ago.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> With Pamphilus.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Is Pamphilus within?</p>
+<p>&mdash;Oh torture.&mdash;Did not you assure me, Sirrah,</p>
+<p>They were at variance?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> So they are.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Why then</p>
+<p>Is Pamphilus within?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Oh, why d’ye think?</p>
+<p>He’s gone to quarrel with her. (<i>Sneering.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Nay, but Chremes,</p>
+<p>There’s more in this, and you shall hear strange news.</p>
+<p>There’s an old countryman, I know not who,</p>
+<p>Is just arriv’d here; confident and shrewd;</p>
+<p>His look bespeaks him of some consequence.</p>
+<p>A grave severity is in his face,</p>
+<p>And credit in his words.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> What story now?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Nay, nothing, Sir, but what I
+heard him say.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> And what says he, then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> That he’s well assur’d</p>
+<p>Glycerium’s an Athenian citizen.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Ho, Dromo! Dromo!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">401</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> What now?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Dromo!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">85</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Hear me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Speak but a word
+more&mdash;Dromo!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Pray, Sir, hear!</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_V_III" id = "and_V_III">
+SCENE III.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Dromo</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dromo.</span> Your pleasure, Sir?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Here, drag him headlong in,</p>
+<p>And truss the rascal up immediately.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dromo.</span> Whom?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Davus.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Why!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Because I’ll have it so.</p>
+<p>Take him, I say.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> For what offense?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Off with him!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> If it appear that I’ve said aught
+but truth,</p>
+<p>Put me to death.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> I will not hear. I’ll trounce
+you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> But though it should prove true,
+Sir!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> True or false.</p>
+<p>See that you keep him bound: and do you hear?</p>
+<p>Bind the slave hand and foot. Away!</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exeunt <span class = "charname">Dromo</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Davus</span>.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">86</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_V_IV" id = "and_V_IV">
+SCENE IV.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Manent <span class = "charname">Simo</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Chremes</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>&mdash;By Heav’n,</p>
+<p>As I do live, I’ll make you know this day</p>
+<p>What peril lies in trifling with a master,</p>
+<p>And make him know what ’tis to plague a father.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Ah, be not in such rage.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Oh Chremes, Chremes,</p>
+<p>Filial unkindness!&mdash;Don’t you pity me!</p>
+<p>To feel all this for such a thankless son!&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>Here, Pamphilus, come forth! ho, Pamphilus!</p>
+<p>Have you no shame? (<i>Calling at <span class =
+"charname">Glycerium’s</span> door.</i>)</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_V_V" id = "and_V_V">
+SCENE V.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Pamphilus</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Who calls?&mdash;Undone! my
+father!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> What say you?
+Most&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Ah, rather speak at once</p>
+<p>Your purpose, Simo, and forbear reproach.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">402</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> As if ’twere possible to utter
+aught</p>
+<p>Severer than he merits!&mdash;Tell me then; (<i>To <span class =
+"charname">Pam</span>.</i>)</p>
+<p>Glycerium is a citizen?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> They say so.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">87</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> They say so!&mdash;Oh amazing
+impudence!&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>Does he consider what he says? does he</p>
+<p>Repent the deed? or does his color take</p>
+<p>The hue of shame?&mdash;To be so weak of soul,</p>
+<p>Against the custom of our citizens,</p>
+<p>Against the law, against his father’s will,</p>
+<p>To wed himself to shame and this vile woman.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Wretch that I am!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Ah, Pamphilus! d’ye feel</p>
+<p>Your wretchedness at last? Then, then, when first</p>
+<p>You wrought upon your mind at any rate</p>
+<p>To gratify your passion: from that hour</p>
+<p>Well might you feel your state of wretchedness.</p>
+<p>&mdash;But why give in to this? Why torture thus,</p>
+<p>Why vex my spirit? Why afflict my age</p>
+<p>For his distemp’rature? Why rue his sins?</p>
+<p>&mdash;No; let him have her, joy in her, live with her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> My father!&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> How, my father!&mdash;can I
+think</p>
+<p>You want this father? You that for yourself</p>
+<p>A home, a wife, and children have acquir’d</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">88</span>
+<p>Against your father’s will? And witnesses</p>
+<p>Suborn’d, to prove that she’s a citizen?</p>
+<p>&mdash;You’ve gain’d your point.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> My father, but one word!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> What would you say?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Nay, hear him, Simo.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Hear him?</p>
+<p>What must I hear then, Chremes!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Let him speak.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Well, let him speak: I hear
+him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> I confess,</p>
+<p>I love Glycerium: if it be a fault,</p>
+<p>That too I do confess. To you, my father,</p>
+<p>I yield myself: dispose me as you please!</p>
+<p>Command me! Say that I shall take a wife;</p>
+<p>Leave her; I will endure it, as I may&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>This only I beseech you, think not I</p>
+<p>Suborn’d this old man hither.&mdash;Suffer me</p>
+<p>To clear myself, and bring him here before you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Bring him here!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Let me, father!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> ’Tis but just:</p>
+<p>Permit him!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Grant me this!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Well, be it so.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Pamphilus</span>.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">403</span>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">89</span>
+<p>I could bear all this bravely, Chremes; more,</p>
+<p>Much more, to know that he deceiv’d me not.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> For a great fault a little
+punishment</p>
+<p>Suffices to a father.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_V_VI" id = "and_V_VI">
+SCENE VI.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Re-enter <span class = "charname">Pamphilus</span> with <span class =
+"charname">Crito</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Crito.</span> Say no more!</p>
+<p>Any of these inducements would prevail:</p>
+<p>Or your entreaty, or that it is truth,</p>
+<p>Or that I wish it for Glycerium’s sake.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Whom do I see? Crito, the
+Andrian?</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">90</span>
+<p>Nay certainly ’tis Crito.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Crito.</span> Save you, Chremes!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> What has brought you to
+Athens?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Crito.</span> Accident.</p>
+<p>But is this Simo?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Aye.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Asks he for me?</p>
+<p>So, Sir, you say that this Glycerium</p>
+<p>Is an Athenian citizen?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Crito.</span> Do you</p>
+<p>Deny it?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> What then are you come
+prepar’d?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Crito.</span> Prepar’d! for what?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> And dare you ask for what?</p>
+<p>Shall you go on thus with impunity?</p>
+<p>Lay snares for inexperienc’d, lib’ral youth,</p>
+<p>With fraud, temptation, and fair promises</p>
+<p>Soothing their minds?&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Crito.</span> Have you your wits?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> &mdash;And then</p>
+<p>With marriage solder up their harlot loves?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Alas, I fear the stranger will not
+bear this. (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Knew you this person, Simo,
+you’d not think thus:</p>
+<p>He’s a good man.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> A good man he?&mdash;To come,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">91</span>
+<p>Although at Athens never seen till now,</p>
+<p>So opportunely on the wedding-day!&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>Is such a fellow to be trusted, Chremes?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> But that I fear my father, I could
+make</p>
+<p>That matter clear to him. (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> A Sharper!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Crito.</span> How?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> It is his humor, Crito: do not
+heed him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Crito.</span> Let him look to ’t. If he
+persists in saying</p>
+<p>Whate’er he pleases, I shall make him hear</p>
+<p>Something that may displease him.&mdash;Do I stir</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">404</span>
+<p>In these affairs, or make them my concern?</p>
+<p>Bear your misfortunes patiently! For me,</p>
+<p>If I speak true or false, shall now be known.</p>
+<p>&mdash;“A man of Athens once upon a time</p>
+<p>Was shipwreck’d on the coast of Andros: with him</p>
+<p>This very woman, then an infant. He</p>
+<p>In this distress applied, it so fell out,</p>
+<p>For help to Chrysis’ father&mdash;”</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">92</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> All romance.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Let him alone.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Crito.</span> And will he interrupt me?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Go on.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Crito.</span> “Now Chrysis’ father, who
+receiv’d him,</p>
+<p>Was my relation. There I’ve often heard</p>
+<p>The man himself declare, he was of Athens.</p>
+<p>There too he died.”</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> His name?</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Crito.</span> His name so quickly!&mdash;</p>
+<p>Phania.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Amazement!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Crito.</span> Troth, I think ’twas Phania;</p>
+<p>But this I’m sure, he said he was of Rhamnus.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Crito.</span> His name so quickly!&mdash;
+Phania.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Amazement!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Crito.</span> By my troth, I think ’twas
+Phania;</p>
+<p>But this I’m sure, he said he was of Rhamnus.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Oh Jupiter!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Crito.</span> These circumstances, Chremes,</p>
+<p>Were known to many others, then in Andros.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Heav’n grant it may be as I
+wish!&mdash;Inform me,</p>
+<p>Whose daughter, said he, was the child? his own?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Crito.</span> No, not his own.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Whose then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Crito.</span> His brother’s daughter.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> Mine, mine undoubtedly!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Crito.</span> What say you?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">93</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> How!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Hark, Pamphilus!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> But why believe you this?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> That Phania was my brother.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> True. I knew him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> He, to avoid the war, departed
+hence:</p>
+<p>And fearing ’twere unsafe to leave the child,</p>
+<p>Embark’d with her in quest of me for Asia:</p>
+<p>Since when I’ve heard no news of him till now.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> I’m scarce myself, my mind is so
+enrapt</p>
+<p>With fear, hope, joy, and wonder of so great,</p>
+<p>So sudden happiness.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Indeed, my Chremes,</p>
+<p>I heartily rejoice she’s found your daughter.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> I do believe you, father.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> But one doubt</p>
+<p>There still remains, which gives me pain.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Away</p>
+<p>With all your doubts! you puzzle a plain cause. (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Crito.</span> What is that doubt?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">405</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> The name does not agree.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Crito.</span> She had another, when a
+child.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> What, Crito?</p>
+<p>Can you remember?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Crito.</span> I am hunting for it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Shall then his memory oppose my
+bliss,</p>
+<p>When I can minister the cure myself?</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">94</span>
+<p>No, I will not permit it&mdash;Hark you, Chremes,</p>
+<p>The name is Pasibula.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Crito.</span> True.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> The same.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> I’ve heard it from herself a
+thousand times.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Chremes, I trust you will believe,
+we all</p>
+<p>Rejoice at this.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> ’Fore Heaven I believe so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> And now, my
+father&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Peace, son! the event</p>
+<p>Has reconcil’d me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> O thou best of fathers!</p>
+<p>Does Chremes too confirm Glycerium mine?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> And with good cause if Simo
+hinder not.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Sir! (<i>To <span class =
+"charname">Simo</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Be it so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> My daughter’s portion is</p>
+<p>Ten talents, Pamphilus.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">95</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> I am content.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes.</span> I’ll to her instantly: and
+prithee, Crito,</p>
+<p>Along with me! for sure she knows me not.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exeunt <span class = "charname">Chremes</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Crito</span>.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">96</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> Why do you not give orders
+instantly</p>
+<p>To bring her to our house?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Th’ advice is good.</p>
+<p>I’ll give that charge to Davus.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> It can’t be.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Why?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> He has other business of his
+own,</p>
+<p>Of nearer import to himself.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> What business?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> He’s bound.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Bound! how, Sir!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> How, Sir?&mdash;neck and
+heels.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Ah, let him be enlarg’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> It shall be done.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> But instantly.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Simo.</span> I’ll in, and order it.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Oh what a happy, happy day is
+this!</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">406</span>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">97</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_V_VII" id = "and_V_VII">
+SCENE VII.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Charinus</span> behind.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> I come to see what Pamphilus is
+doing:</p>
+<p>And there he is!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> And is this true?&mdash;yes,
+yes,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">98</span>
+<p>I know ’tis true, because I wish it so.</p>
+<p>Therefore I think the life of Gods eternal,</p>
+<p>For that their joys are permanent: and now,</p>
+<p>My soul hath her content so absolute,</p>
+<p>That I too am immortal, if no ill</p>
+<p>Step in betwixt me and this happiness.</p>
+<p>Oh, for a bosom-friend now to pour out</p>
+<p>My ecstasies before him!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> What’s this rapture?
+(<i>Listening.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Oh, yonder’s Davus: nobody more
+welcome:</p>
+<p>For he, I know, will join in transport with me.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">99</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "and_V_VIII" id = "and_V_VIII">
+SCENE VIII.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Davus</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus</span> (<i>entering</i>). Where’s
+Pamphilus?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Oh Davus!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Who’s there?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> I.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Oh Pamphilus!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> You know not my good fortune.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Do you know my ill fortune?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> To a tittle.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> ’Tis after the old fashion, that
+my ills</p>
+<p>Should reach your ears, before your joys reach mine.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Glycerium has discover’d her
+relations.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> O excellent!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> How’s that?
+(<i>Listening.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Her father is</p>
+<p>Our most near friend.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Who?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Chremes.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Charming news!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> And I’m to marry her
+immediately.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> Is this man talking in his sleep,
+and dreams</p>
+<p>On what he wishes waking? (<i>Listening.</i>)</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">100</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> And moreover,</p>
+<p>For the child, Davus&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Ah, Sir, say no more.</p>
+<p>You’re th’ only favorite of the Gods.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> I’m made,</p>
+<p>If this be true. I’ll speak to them. (<i>Comes forward.</i>)</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">407</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Who’s there?</p>
+<p>Charinus! oh, well met.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> I give you joy.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> You’ve heard then&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Char.</span> Ev’ry word: and prithee now,</p>
+<p>In your good fortune, think upon your friend.</p>
+<p>Chremes is now your own; and will perform</p>
+<p>Whatever you shall ask.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> I shall remember.</p>
+<p>’Twere tedious to expect his coming forth:</p>
+<p>Along with me then to Glycerium!</p>
+<p>Davus, do you go home, and hasten them</p>
+<p>To fetch her hence. Away, away!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> I go.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exeunt <span class = "charname">Pamphilus</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Charinus</span>.</p>
+
+<p class = "stagedir">
+<span class = "charname">Davus</span> addressing the audience.</p>
+<p>Wait not till they come forth: within</p>
+<p>She’ll be betroth’d; within, if aught remains</p>
+<p>Undone, ’twill be concluded&mdash;Clap your hands!</p>
+
+</div>
+
+</div> <!-- end div play -->
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">408</span>
+
+<p class = "illustration">
+<img src = "images/eunuch.jpg" width = "357" height = "359"
+alt = "comic masks">
+</p>
+
+
+<div class = "play">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">106</span>
+<h2 class = "title"><a name = "eunuch" id = "eunuch">
+THE EUNUCH.</a></h2>
+
+<hr class = "mid">
+
+<h5>PERSONS REPRESENTED.</h5>
+
+<table class = "cast" summary = "cast of characters">
+<tr>
+<td class = "castleft">
+<p class = "charname">Prologue.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Laches.</p>
+<p class = "charname">PhÊdria.</p>
+<p class = "charname">ChÊrea.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Antipho.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Chremes.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Thraso.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Gnatho.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Parmeno.</p>
+</td>
+<td class = "castright">
+<p class = "charname">Dorus.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Sanga.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Simalio, etc.</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p class = "charname">Thais.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Pythias.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Dorias.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Sophrona.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Pamphila.</p>
+</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class = "scene" colspan = "2">
+<p class = "smallcaps">Scene, Athens.</p>
+</td>
+</tr>
+</table>
+
+<hr class = "mid">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">109</span>
+<h5><a name = "eun_prolog" id = "eun_prolog">
+PROLOGUE.</a></h5>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "indent">
+<span class = "firstword">To</span> please the candid, give offense to
+none,</p>
+<p>This, says the Poet, ever was his care:</p>
+<p>Yet if there’s one who thinks he’s hardly censur’d,</p>
+<p>Let him remember he was the aggressor:</p>
+<p><i>He</i>, who translating many, but not well,</p>
+<p>On good Greek fables fram’d poor Latin plays;</p>
+<p><i>He</i>, who but lately to the public gave</p>
+<p>The Phantom of Menander; <i>He</i>, who made,</p>
+<p>In the Thesaurus, the Defendant plead</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">110</span>
+<p>And vouch the question’d treasure to be his,</p>
+<p>Before the Plaintiff his own title shows,</p>
+<p>Or whence it came into his father’s tomb.</p>
+
+<p class = "first indent">
+Henceforward, let him not deceive himself,</p>
+<p>Or cry, <ins class = "correction second" title =
+"quotation marks supplied from 1768 edition">“I’m</ins> safe,
+he can say naught of me.”</p>
+<p>I charge him that he err not, and forbear</p>
+<p>To urge me farther; for I’ve more, much more,</p>
+<p>Which now shall be o’erlook’d, but shall be known,</p>
+<p>If he pursue his slanders, as before.</p>
+
+<p class = "first indent">
+Soon as this play, the Eunuch of Menander,</p>
+<p>Which we are now preparing to perform,</p>
+<p>Was purchas’d by the Ædiles, he obtain’d</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">111</span>
+<p>Leave to examine it: and afterward</p>
+<p>When ’twas rehears’d before the Magistrates,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">409</span>
+<p>“A Thief,” he cried, “no Poet gives this piece.</p>
+<p>Yet has he not deceived us: for we know,</p>
+<p>The Colax is an ancient comedy</p>
+<p>Of NÊvius, and of Plautus; and from thence</p>
+<p>The Parasite and Soldier both are stolen.”</p>
+
+<p class = "first indent">
+If that’s the Poet’s crime, it is a crime</p>
+<p>Of ignorance, and not a studied theft.</p>
+<p>Judge for yourselves! the fact is even thus.</p>
+<p>The Colax is a fable of Menander’s;</p>
+<p>Wherein is drawn the character of Colax</p>
+<p>The parasite, and the vain-glorious soldier;</p>
+<p>Which characters, he scruples not to own,</p>
+<p>He to his Eunuch from the Greek transferr’d:</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">112</span>
+<p>But that he knew those pieces were before</p>
+<p>Made Latin, that he steadfastly denies.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">113</span>
+<p class = "first indent">
+Yet if to other Poets ’tis not lawful</p>
+<p>To draw the characters our fathers drew,</p>
+<p>How can it then be lawful to exhibit</p>
+<p>Slaves running to and fro; to represent</p>
+<p>Good matrons, wanton harlots; or to show</p>
+<p>An eating parasite, vain-glorious soldier,</p>
+<p>Supposititious children, bubbled dotards,</p>
+<p>Or love, or hate, or jealousy?&mdash;In short,</p>
+<p>Nothing’s said now but has been said before.</p>
+<p>Weigh then these things with candor, and forgive</p>
+<p>The Moderns, if what Ancients did, they do.</p>
+
+<p class = "first indent">
+Attend, and list in silence to our play,</p>
+<p>That ye may know what ’tis the Eunuch means.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">115</span>
+<h4 class = "act"><a name = "eun_I" id = "eun_I">
+ACT THE FIRST.</a></h4>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "eun_I_I" id = "eun_I_I">
+SCENE I.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">PhÊdria</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Parmeno</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> And what then shall I do? not go?
+not now?</p>
+<p>When she herself invites me? or were’t best</p>
+<p>Fashion my mind no longer to endure</p>
+<p>These harlots’ impudence?&mdash;Shut out! recall’d!</p>
+<p>Shall I return? No, not if she implore me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Oh brave! oh excellent! if you
+maintain it!</p>
+<p>But if you try, and can’t go through with spirit,</p>
+<p>And finding you can’t bear it, uninvited,</p>
+<p>Your peace unmade, all of your own accord,</p>
+<p>You come and swear you love, and can’t endure it,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">410</span>
+<p>Good-night! all’s over! ruin’d and undone</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">116</span>
+<p>She’ll jilt you, when she sees you in her pow’r.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> You then, in time consider and
+advise!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Master! the thing which hath not in
+itself</p>
+<p>Or measure or advice, advice can’t rule.</p>
+<p>In love are all these ills: suspicions, quarrels,</p>
+<p>Wrongs, reconcilements, war, and peace again:</p>
+<p>Things thus uncertain, if by reason’s rules</p>
+<p>You’d certain make, it were as wise a task</p>
+<p>To try with reason to run mad. And now</p>
+<p>What you in anger meditate&mdash;I her?</p>
+<p>That him?&mdash;that me? that would not&mdash;pardon me!</p>
+<p>I would die rather: No! she shall perceive</p>
+<p>How much I am a man.&mdash;Big words like these,</p>
+<p>She in good faith with one false tiny drop,</p>
+<p>Which, after grievous rubbing, from her eyes</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">117</span>
+<p>Can scarce perforce be squeez’d, shall overcome.</p>
+<p>Nay, she shall swear, ’twas you in fault, not she;</p>
+<p>You too shall own th’ offense, and pray for pardon.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Oh monstrous! monstrous! now
+indeed I see</p>
+<p>How false she is, and what a wretch I am!</p>
+<p>Spite of myself I love; and knowing, feeling,</p>
+<p>With open eyes run on to my destruction;</p>
+<p>And what to do I know not.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> What to do?</p>
+<p>What should you do, Sir, but redeem yourself</p>
+<p>As cheaply as you can?&mdash;at easy rates</p>
+<p>If possible&mdash;if not&mdash;at any rate&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>And never vex yourself.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Is that your counsel?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Aye, if you’re wise; and do not add
+to love</p>
+<p>More troubles than it has, and those it has</p>
+<p>Bear bravely! But she comes, our ruin comes;</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">118</span>
+<p>For she, like storms of hail on fields of corn,</p>
+<p>Beats down our hopes, and carries all before her.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "eun_I_II" id = "eun_I_II">
+SCENE II.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Thais</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Ah me! I fear lest PhÊdria take
+offense</p>
+<p>And think I meant it other than I did,</p>
+<p>That he was not admitted yesterday. (<i>To herself, not seeing
+them.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> I tremble, Parmeno, and freeze
+with horror.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Be of good cheer! approach yon
+fire&mdash;she’ll warm you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Who’s there? my PhÊdria? Why did
+you stand here?</p>
+<p>Why not directly enter?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Not one word</p>
+<p>Of having shut him out!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Why don’t you speak?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">411</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Because, forsooth, these doors
+will always fly</p>
+<p>Open to me, or that because I stand</p>
+<p>The first in your good graces. (<i>Ironically.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Nay, no more!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> No more?&mdash;O Thais, Thais,
+would to Heaven</p>
+<p>Our loves were parallel, that things like these</p>
+<p>Might torture you, as this has tortur’d me:</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">119</span>
+<p>Or that your actions were indifferent to me!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Grieve not, I beg, my love, my
+PhÊdria!</p>
+<p>Not that I lov’d another more, I did this.</p>
+<p>But I by circumstance was forc’d to do it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> So then, it seems, for very love,
+poor soul,</p>
+<p>You shut the door in ’s teeth.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Ah Parmeno!</p>
+<p>Is’t thus you deal with me? Go to!&mdash;But hear</p>
+<p>Why I did call you hither?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Be it so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> But tell me first, can yon slave
+hold his peace?</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> I? oh most faithfully: But hark ye,
+madam!</p>
+<p>On this condition do I bind my faith:</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>The truths I hear, I will conceal; but falsehood,</p>
+<p>Fiction, or gross pretence, shall out at once.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>The truths I hear, I will conceal; whate’er</p>
+<p>Is false, or vain, or feign’d, I’ll publish it.</p>
+<p class = "allclear">&nbsp;</p>
+<p>I’m full of chinks, and run through here and there:</p>
+<p>So if you claim my secrecy, speak truth.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> My mother was a Samian, liv’d at
+Rhodes.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> This sleeps in silence.
+(<i>Archly.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> There a certain merchant</p>
+<p>Made her a present of a little girl,</p>
+<p>Stol’n hence from Attica.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">120</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> A citizen?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> I think so, but we can not tell
+for certain.</p>
+<p>Her father’s and her mother’s name she told</p>
+<p>Herself; her country and the other marks</p>
+<p>Of her original, she neither knew,</p>
+<p>Nor, from her age, was ’t possible she should.</p>
+<p>The merchant added further, that the pirates,</p>
+<p>Of whom he bought her, let him understand,</p>
+<p>She had been stol’n from Sunium. My mother</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p>Gave her an education, brought her up</p>
+<p>In all respects as she had been her own;</p>
+<p>And she in gen’ral was suppos’d my sister.</p>
+<p>I journeyed hither with the gentleman</p>
+<p>To whom alone I was connected then,</p>
+<p>The same who left me all I have.</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> These articles</p>
+<p>Are both rank falsehoods, and shall out.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Both these</p>
+<p>Are false, and shall go forth at large.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Why so?</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Because nor you with one could be
+content,</p>
+<p>Nor he alone enrich’d you; for my master</p>
+<p>Made good and large addition.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">412</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> I allow it,</p>
+<p>But let me hasten to the point I wish:</p>
+<p>Meantime the captain, who was then but young</p>
+<p>In his attachment to me, went to Caria.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">121</span>
+<p>I, in his absence, was address’d by you;</p>
+<p>Since when, full well you know, how very dear</p>
+<p>I’ve held you, and have trusted you with all</p>
+<p>My nearest counsels.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> And yet Parmeno</p>
+<p>Will not be silent even here.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Oh, Sir,</p>
+<p>Is that a doubt?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Nay, prithee now, attend!</p>
+<p>My mother’s lately dead at Rhodes: her brother,</p>
+<p>Too much intent on wealth, no sooner saw</p>
+<p>This virgin, handsome, well-accomplish’d, skill’d</p>
+<p>In music, than, spurr’d on by hopes of gain,</p>
+<p>In public market he expos’d and sold her.</p>
+<p>It so fell out, my soldier-spark was there,</p>
+<p>And bought her, all unknowing these events,</p>
+<p>To give to me: but soon as he return’d,</p>
+<p>And found how much I was attach’d to you,</p>
+<p>He feign’d excuses to keep back the girl;</p>
+<p>Pretending, were he thoroughly convinc’d</p>
+<p>That I would still prefer him to yourself,</p>
+<p>Nor fear’d that when I had receiv’d the girl,</p>
+<p>I would abandon him, he’d give her to me;</p>
+<p>But that he doubted. For my part, I think</p>
+<p>He is grown fond of her himself.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">122</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Is there</p>
+<p>Aught more between them?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> No; for I’ve inquir’d,</p>
+<p>And now, my PhÊdria, there are sundry causes</p>
+<p>Wherefore I wish to win the virgin from him.</p>
+<p>First, for she’s call’d my sister; and moreover,</p>
+<p>That I to her relations may restore her.</p>
+<p>I’m a lone woman, have nor friend, nor kin:</p>
+<p>Wherefore, my PhÊdria, I would raise up friends</p>
+<p>By some good turn:&mdash;And you, I prithee now,</p>
+<p>Help me to do it. Let him some few days</p>
+<p>Be my gallant in chief. What! no reply?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Abandon’d woman! Can I aught
+reply</p>
+<p>To deeds like these?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Oh excellent! well said!</p>
+<p>He feels at length; Now, master, you’re a man.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> I saw your story’s
+drift.&mdash;<ins class = "correction second" title =
+"quotation marks supplied from 1768 edition">“A little girl</ins></p>
+<p>Stol’n hence&mdash;My mother brought her up&mdash;was call’d</p>
+<p>My sister&mdash;I would fain obtain her from him,</p>
+<p>That I to her relations might restore her&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
+<p>All this preamble comes at last to this.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">413</span>
+<p>I am excluded, he’s admitted. Why?</p>
+<p>But that you love him more than me, and fear</p>
+<p>Lest this young captive win your hero from you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Do I fear that?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Why, prithee now, what else?</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">123</span>
+<p>Does he bring gifts alone? didst e’er perceive</p>
+<p>My bounty shut against you? Did I not,</p>
+<p>Because you told me you’d be glad to have</p>
+<p>An Ethiopian servant-maid, all else</p>
+<p>Omitted, seek one out? You said besides,</p>
+<p>You wish’d to have an Eunuch, ’cause forsooth,</p>
+<p>They were for dames of quality; I found one:</p>
+<p>For both I yesterday paid twenty <i>minÊ</i>,</p>
+<p>Yet you contemn me&mdash;I forgot not these,</p>
+<p>And for these I’m despis’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Why this, my PhÊdria?</p>
+<p>Though I would fain obtain the girl, and though</p>
+<p>I think by these means it might well be done;</p>
+<p>Yet, rather than make you my enemy,</p>
+<p>I’ll do as you command.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Oh, had you said</p>
+<p>Those words sincerely. “Rather than make you</p>
+<p>My enemy!”&mdash;Oh, could I think those words</p>
+<p>Came from your heart, what is ’t I’d not endure!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Gone! conquer’d with one word!
+alas, how soon!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Not speak sincerely? from my very
+soul?</p>
+<p>What did you ever ask, although in sport,</p>
+<p>But you obtain’d it of me? yet I can’t</p>
+<p>Prevail on you to grant but two short days.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Well&mdash;for two days&mdash;so
+those two be not twenty.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">124</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> No in good faith but two,
+or&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Or? no more.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> It shall not be: but you will
+grant me those.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Your will must be a law.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Thanks, my sweet PhÊdria!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> I’ll to the country: there consume
+myself</p>
+<p>For these two days: it must be so: we must</p>
+<p>Give way to Thais. See you, Parmeno,</p>
+<p>The slaves brought hither.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Sir, I will.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> My Thais,</p>
+<p>For these two days farewell!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Farewell, my PhÊdria!</p>
+<p>Would you aught else with me?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Aught else, my Thais?</p>
+<p>Be with yon soldier present, as if absent:</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">125</span>
+<p>All night and day love me: still long for me:</p>
+<p>Dream, ponder still of me; wish, hope for me:</p>
+<p>Delight in me; be all in all with me;</p>
+<p>Give your whole heart, for mine’s all yours, to me.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exeunt.</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene -->
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">414</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "eun_I_III" id = "eun_I_III">
+SCENE III.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Manet <span class = "charname">Thais</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>Ah me! I fear that he believes me not,</p>
+<p>And judges of my heart from those of others.</p>
+<p>I in my conscience know, that nothing false</p>
+<p>I have deliver’d, nor to my true heart</p>
+<p>Is any dearer than this PhÊdria:</p>
+<p>And whatsoe’er in this affair I’ve done,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">126</span>
+<p>For the girl’s sake I’ve done: for I’m in hopes</p>
+<p>I know her brother, a right noble youth.</p>
+<p>To-day I wait him, by his own appointment;</p>
+<p>Wherefore I’ll in, and tarry for his coming.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">127</span>
+<h4 class = "act"><a name = "eun_II" id = "eun_II">
+ACT THE SECOND.</a></h4>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "eun_II_I" id = "eun_II_I">
+SCENE I.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊdria</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Parmeno</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊdria.</span> Carry the slaves according to
+my order.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> I will.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> But diligently.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Sir, I will.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> But soon.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> I will, Sir!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Say, is it sufficient?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Ah! what a question’s that? as if
+it were</p>
+<p>So difficult! I wish, Sir PhÊdria,</p>
+<p>You could gain aught so easy, as lose these.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> I lose, what’s dearer yet, my
+comfort with them.</p>
+<p>Repine not at my gifts.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Not I: moreover</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">128</span>
+<p>I will convey them straight. But have you any</p>
+<p>Other commands?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Oh yes: set off our presents</p>
+<p>With words as handsome as you can: and drive,</p>
+<p>As much as possible, that rival from her!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Ah, Sir, I should, of course,
+remember that.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> I’ll to the country, and stay
+there.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> O, aye! (<i>Ironically.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> But hark you!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Sir, your pleasure?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Do you think</p>
+<p>I can with constancy hold out, and not</p>
+<p>Return before my time?</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Hold out? Not you.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">415</span>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>Either you’ll straight return, or want of sleep</p>
+<p>Will drive you forth at midnight.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> I will toil;</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>Either you’ll straight return, or soon at night</p>
+<p>Your dreams will drive you out o’ doors.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> I’ll toil;</p>
+<p>That, weary, I may sleep against my will.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Weary you may be; but you’ll never
+sleep.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Ah, Parmeno, you wrong me. I’ll
+cast out</p>
+<p>This treacherous softness from my soul, nor thus</p>
+<p>Indulge my passions. Yes, I could remain,</p>
+<p>If need, without her even three whole days.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">129</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Hui! three whole livelong days!
+consider, Sir.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> I am resolved.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">130</span>
+
+<p class = "stagedir">
+<ins class = "correction harper" title =
+"called Scene II in 1768 edition">
+<span class = "charname">Parmeno</span> alone.</ins></p>
+
+<p>Heav’ns, what a strange disease is this! that love</p>
+<p>Should so change men, that one can hardly swear</p>
+<p>They are the same!&mdash;No mortal liv’d</p>
+<p>Less weak, more grave, more temperate than he.</p>
+<p>&mdash;But who comes yonder?&mdash;Gnatho, as I live;</p>
+<p>The Captain’s parasite! and brings along</p>
+<p>The Virgin for a present: oh rare wench!</p>
+<p>How beautiful! I shall come off, I doubt,</p>
+<p>But scurvily with my decrepit Eunuch.</p>
+<p>This Girl surpasses ev’n Thais herself.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">131</span>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "eun_II_II" id = "eun_II_II">
+<ins class = "correction harper" title =
+"called Scene III in 1768 edition">
+SCENE II.</ins></a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Gnatho</span> leading <span class =
+"charname">Pamphila</span>; <span class = "charname">Parmeno</span>
+behind.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Good Heav’ns! how much one man
+excels another!</p>
+<p>What diff’rence ’twixt a wise man and a fool!</p>
+<p>What just now happen’d proves it: coming hither</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">132</span>
+<p>I met with an old countryman, a man</p>
+<p>Of my own place and order, like myself,</p>
+<p>No scurvy fellow, who, like me, had spent</p>
+<p>In mirth and jollity his whole estate.</p>
+
+<p class = "second">
+Seeing him in a wretched trim; his looks</p>
+
+<p>He was in a most wretched trim; his looks</p>
+<p>Lean, sick, and dirty; and his clothes all rags.</p>
+<p><ins class = "correction second" title =
+"all quotation marks supplied from 1768 edition">“How</ins>
+now!” cried I, “what means this figure, friend?</p>
+<p>Alas! says he, my patrimony’s gone.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p>&mdash;Ah, how am I reduc’d! my old acquaintance</p>
+<p>And friends all shun me.”&mdash;Hearing this, how cheap</p>
+<p>I held him in comparison with me!</p>
+<p>“Why, how now? wretch, said I, most idle wretch!</p>
+<p>Have you spent all, nor left ev’n hope behind?</p>
+<p>What! have you lost your sense with your estate?</p>
+<p>Me!&mdash;look on me&mdash;come from the same condition!</p>
+<p>How sleek! how neat! how clad! in what good case!</p>
+<p>I’ve ev’ry thing, though nothing; naught possess,</p>
+<p>Yet naught I ever want.”&mdash;“Ah, Sir, but I</p>
+<p>Have an unhappy temper, and can’t bear</p>
+<p>To be the butt of others, or to take</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">416</span>
+<p>A beating now and then.”&mdash;“How then! d’ye think</p>
+<p>Those are the means of thriving? No, my friend!</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">133</span>
+<p>Such formerly indeed might drive a trade:</p>
+<p>But <ins class = "correction second"
+title = "Harper prints ‘mine ’s’ with space">mine’s</ins> a new
+profession; I the first</p>
+<p>That ever struck into this road. There are</p>
+<p>A kind of men, who wish to be the head</p>
+<p>Of ev’ry thing; but are not. These I follow;</p>
+<p>Not for their sport and laughter, but for gain</p>
+<p>To laugh with them, and wonder at their parts:</p>
+<p>Whate’er they say, I praise it; if again</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">134</span>
+<p>They contradict, I praise that too: does any</p>
+<p>Deny? I too deny: affirm? I too</p>
+<p>Affirm: and in a word, I’ve brought myself</p>
+<p>To say, unsay, swear, and forswear, at pleasure:</p>
+<p>And that is now the best of all professions.”</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> A special fellow this! who drives
+fools mad.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Deep in this conversation, we at
+length</p>
+<p>Come to the market, where the sev’ral tradesmen,</p>
+<p>Butchers, cooks, grocers, poult’rers, fishmongers,</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>(Who, while my means were ample, profited,</p>
+<p>And, tho’ now wasted, profit by me still,)</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>(Who once did profit and still profit by me,)</p>
+<p>All run with joy to me, salute, invite,</p>
+<p>And bid me welcome. He, poor half-starv’d wretch,</p>
+<p>Soon as he saw me thus caress’d, and found</p>
+<p>I got my bread so easily, desired</p>
+<p>He might have leave to learn that art of me.</p>
+<p>I bade him follow me, if possible:</p>
+<p>And, as the Schools of the Philosophers</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">135</span>
+<p>Have ta’en from the Philosophers their names,</p>
+<p>So, in like manner, let all Parasites</p>
+<p>Be call’d from me Gnathonics!</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Mark, what ease,</p>
+<p>And being kept at other’s cost, produces!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> But hold, I must convey this girl
+to Thais,</p>
+<p>And bid her forth to sup.&mdash;Ha, Parmeno!</p>
+<p>Our rival’s slave, standing at Thais’ door!</p>
+<p>&mdash;How melancholy he appears! All’s safe:</p>
+<p>These poor rogues find but a cold welcome here.</p>
+<p>I’ll play upon this knave. (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> These fellows think</p>
+<p>This present will make Thais all their own. (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> To Parmeno, his lov’d and honor’d
+friend,</p>
+<p>Gnatho sends greeting. (<i>Ironically.</i>)&mdash;What are you
+upon?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> My legs.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> I see it.&mdash;Is there nothing
+here</p>
+<p>Displeasing to you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> You.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> I do believe it.</p>
+<p>But prithee, is there nothing else?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Wherefore?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Because you’re melancholy.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">136</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Not at all.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">417</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Well, do not be so!&mdash;Pray,
+now, what d’ye think</p>
+<p>Of this young handmaid?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Troth, she’s not amiss.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> I plague the rascal. (<i>Half
+aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> How the knave’s deceiv’d! (<i>Half
+aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Will not this gift be very
+acceptable</p>
+<p>To Thais, think you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> You’d insinuate</p>
+<p>That we’re shut out.&mdash;There is, alas, a change</p>
+<p>In all things.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> For these six months, Parmeno,</p>
+<p>For six whole months at least, I’ll make you easy;</p>
+<p>You sha’n’t run up and down, and watch till daylight;</p>
+<p>Come, don’t I make you happy?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Very happy.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> ’Tis my way with my friends.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> You’re very good.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> But I detain you: you, perhaps,
+was going</p>
+<p>Somewhere else.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Nowhere.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> May I beg you then</p>
+<p>To use your int’rest here, and introduce me</p>
+<p>To Thais?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Hence! away! these doors</p>
+<p>Fly open now, because you carry her.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">137</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Would you have any one call’d
+forth?</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Well, well!</p>
+<p>Pass but two days; and you, so welcome now,</p>
+<p>That the doors open with your little finger,</p>
+<p>Shall kick against them then, I warrant you,</p>
+<p>Till your heels ache again.</p>
+
+<p class = "stagedir">
+Re-enter <span class = "charname">Gnatho</span>.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Ha! Parmeno!</p>
+<p>Are you here still? What! are you left a spy,</p>
+<p>Lest any go-between should run by stealth</p>
+<p>To Thais from the Captain?</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Very smart!</p>
+<p>No wonder such a wit delights the Captain!</p>
+<p>But hold! I see my master’s younger son</p>
+<p>Coming this way. I wonder much he should</p>
+<p>Desert PirÊus, where he’s now on guard.</p>
+<p>’Tis not for nothing. All in haste he comes,</p>
+<p>And seems to look about.</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene -->
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "eun_II_III" id = "eun_II_III">
+<ins class = "correction harper" title =
+"called Scene IV in 1768 edition">
+SCENE III.</ins></a></h5>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">Enter <span class = "charname">ChÊrea</span>;
+<span class = "charname">Parmeno</span> behind.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Undone! undone!</p>
+<p>The Girl is lost; I know not where she is,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">418</span>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">138</span>
+<p>Nor where I am: ah, whither shall I trace?</p>
+<p>Where seek? of whom inquire? or which way turn?</p>
+<p>I’m all uncertain; but have one hope still:</p>
+<p>Where’er she is, she can not long lie hid.</p>
+<p>Oh charming face! all others from my memory</p>
+<p>Hence I blot out. Away with common beauties!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> So, here’s the other! and he
+mutters too</p>
+<p>I know not what of love. Oh what a poor</p>
+<p>Unfortunate old man their father is!</p>
+<p>As for this stripling, if he once begin,</p>
+<p>His brother’s is but jest and children’s play</p>
+<p>To his mad fury.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Twice ten thousand curses</p>
+<p>Seize the old wretch, who kept me back to-day;</p>
+<p>And me for staying! with a fellow too</p>
+<p>I did not care a farthing for!&mdash;But see!</p>
+<p>Yonder stands Parmeno.&mdash;Good-day!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> How now?</p>
+<p>Wherefore so sad? and why this hurry, ChÊrea?</p>
+<p>Whence come you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> I? I can not tell, i’faith,</p>
+<p>Whence I am come, or whither I am going,</p>
+<p>I’ve so entirely lost myself.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">139</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> And why?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> I am in love.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Oh brave!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Now, Parmeno,</p>
+<p>Now you may show what kind of man you are.</p>
+<p>You know you’ve often told me; <ins class = "correction second" title
+= "quotation marks supplied from 1768 edition">“ChÊrea,</ins></p>
+<p>Find something out to set your heart upon,</p>
+<p>And mark how I will serve you!” yes, you know</p>
+<p>You’ve often said so, when I scrap’d together</p>
+<p>All the provisions for you at my father’s.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Away, you trifler!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Nay, in faith, it’s true:</p>
+<p>Now make your promise good! and in a cause</p>
+<p>Worthy the utmost reachings of your soul:</p>
+<p>A girl! my Parmeno, not like our misses;</p>
+<p>Whose mothers try to keep their shoulders down,</p>
+<p>And bind their bosoms, that their shapes may seem</p>
+<p>Genteel and slim. Is a girl rather plump?</p>
+<p>They call her nurse, and stint her in her food:</p>
+<p>Thus art, in spits of nature, makes them all</p>
+<p>Mere bulrushes: and therefore they’re belov’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> And what’s this girl of yours?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> A miracle.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Oh, to be sure!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">140</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> True, natural red and white;</p>
+<p>Her body firm, and full of precious stuff!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Her age?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> About sixteen.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">419</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> The very prime!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> This girl, by force, by stealth,
+or by entreaty,</p>
+<p>Procure me! how I care not, so I have her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Well, whom does she belong to?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> I don’t know.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Whence comes she?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> I can’t tell.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Where does she live?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> I can’t tell neither.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Where was it you saw her?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Here in the street.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> And how was it you lost her?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Why it was that, which I so fumed
+about,</p>
+<p>As I came hither! nor was ever man</p>
+<p>So jilted by good fortune as myself.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> What mischief now?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Confounded luck.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> How so?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> How so! d’ye know one
+Archidemides,</p>
+<p>My father’s kinsman, and about his age?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Full well.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> As I was in pursuit of her</p>
+<p>He met me.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Rather inconveniently.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">141</span>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Oh most unhappily! for lighter
+ills</p>
+<p>May pass for inconvenient, Parmeno.</p>
+<p>Nay, I could swear, with a safe conscience too,</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Oh most unhappily! for other
+ills</p>
+<p>May be told, Parmeno!&mdash;I could swear too,</p>
+<p>For six, nay seven months, I had not seen him,</p>
+<p>Till now, when least I wish’d and most would shun it.</p>
+<p>Is not this monstrous? Eh!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Oh! very monstrous.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Soon as from far he saw me,
+instantly,</p>
+<p>Bent, trembling, drop-jaw’d, gasping, out of breath,</p>
+<p>He hobbled up to me.&mdash;<ins class = "correction second" title =
+"quotation marks supplied from 1768 edition">“Holo!</ins> ho!
+ChÊrea!”&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>I stopp’d.&mdash;“D’ye know what I want with you?”&mdash;“What?”</p>
+<p>&mdash;“I have a cause to-morrow.”&mdash;“Well! what
+then?”&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>&mdash;“Fail not to tell your father, he remember</p>
+<p>To go up with me, as an advocate.”&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>His prating took some time. “Aught else?” said I.</p>
+<p>“Nothing,” said he:&mdash;Away flew I, and saw</p>
+<p>The girl that instant turn into this street.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Sure he must mean the virgin, just
+now brought</p>
+<p>To Thais for a present.</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> When I reach’d</p>
+<p>This place, the girl was vanish’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Had your lady</p>
+<p>Any attendants?</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Soon as I</p>
+<p>Came hither, she was out of sight.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">142</span>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Had she</p>
+<p>Any attendants?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Yes; a parasite,</p>
+<p>With a maid-servant.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> ’Tis the very same;</p>
+<p>Away! have done! all’s over.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> What d’ye mean?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">420</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> The girl I mean.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> D’ye know then who she is?</p>
+<p>Tell me!&mdash;or have you seen her?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Yes, I’ve seen her;</p>
+<p>I know her; and can tell you where she is.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> How! my dear Parmeno, d’ye know
+her?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Yes.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> And where she is, d’ye know?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Yes,&mdash;there she is;
+(<i>Pointing.</i>)</p>
+<p>Carried to Madam Thais for a present.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> What monarch could bestow a gift
+so precious?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> The mighty Captain Thraso,
+PhÊdria’s rival.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Alas, poor brother!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Aye, and if you knew</p>
+<p>The gift he sends to be compar’d with this,</p>
+<p>You’d cry alas, indeed!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> What is his gift?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">143</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> An Eunuch.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> What! that old and ugly slave</p>
+<p>That he bought yesterday?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> The very same.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Why, surely, he’ll be trundled out
+o’ doors</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>He and his gift together&mdash;But till now</p>
+<p>I never knew this Thais was our neighbour.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> She came but lately.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Ev’ry way unlucky:</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>He and his gift together&mdash;I ne’er knew</p>
+<p>Till now that Thais was our neighbor.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> She</p>
+<p>Has not been long so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Ev’ry way unlucky:</p>
+<p>Ne’er to have seen her neither:&mdash;Prithee, tell me,</p>
+<p>Is she so handsome, as she’s said to be?</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Yes, faith<ins class = "correction
+second" title = "Harper edition has question mark">.&nbsp;</ins></p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> But nothing to compare to
+mine.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Oh, quite another thing.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> But Parmeno!</p>
+<p>Contrive that I may have her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Well, I will.</p>
+<p>Depend on my assistance:&mdash;have you any</p>
+<p>Further commands? (<i>As if going.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Where are you going?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Home;</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">144</span>
+<p>To bring according to your brother’s order,</p>
+<p>The slaves to Thais.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Oh, that happy Eunuch!</p>
+<p>To be convey’d into that house!</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Why so?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Why so? why, he shall have that
+charming girl</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>His fellow-servant, see her all day long,</p>
+<p>Converse with her, dwell under the same roof,</p>
+<p>And sometimes eat, and sometimes sleep by her.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>His fellow-servant, see her, speak with her,</p>
+<p>Be with her in the same house all day long,</p>
+<p>And sometimes eat, and sometimes sleep by her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> And what if you should be so
+happy?</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> How?</p>
+<p>Tell me, dear Parmeno!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">421</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Assume his dress.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> His dress! what then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> I’ll carry you for him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> I hear you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> I will say that you are he.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> I understand you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> So shall you enjoy</p>
+<p>Those blessings which but now you envied him:</p>
+<p>Eat with her, be with her, touch, toy with her,</p>
+<p>And sleep by her: since none of Thais’ maids</p>
+<p>Know you, or dream of what you are. Besides,</p>
+<p>Your figure, and your age are such, that you</p>
+<p>May well pass for an Eunuch.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Oh, well said!</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">145</span>
+<p>I ne’er heard better counsel. Come, let’s in?</p>
+<p>Dress me, and carry me! Away, make haste!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> What are you at? I did but
+jest.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> You trifle.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> I’m ruin’d: fool, what have I done?
+Nay, whither</p>
+<p>D’ye push me thus? You’ll throw me down. Nay, stay!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Away.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Nay, prithee!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> I’m resolv’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Consider;</p>
+<p>You carry this too far.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> No, not at all.</p>
+<p>Give way!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> And Parmeno must pay for all.</p>
+<p>Ah, we do wrong!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Is it then wrong for me</p>
+<p>To be convey’d into a house of harlots,</p>
+<p>And turn those very arts on them, with which</p>
+<p>They hamper us, and turn our youth to scorn?</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">146</span>
+<p>Can it be wrong for me too, in my turn,</p>
+<p>To deceive them, by whom we’re all deceiv’d?</p>
+<p>No, rather let it be! ’tis just to play</p>
+<p>This trick upon them: which, if gray-beards know,</p>
+<p>They’ll blame indeed, but all will think well done.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Well, if you must, you must; but do
+not then,</p>
+<p>After all’s over, throw the blame on me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> No, no!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> But do you order me?</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> I do:</p>
+<p>Order, command, compel you; nor will e’er</p>
+<p>Deny, or disavow my putting-on.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Come on then: follow me!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Heav’n grant success!</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> I do:</p>
+<p>Order, command, force.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Oh, I’ll not dispute</p>
+<p>Your pow’r. So, follow me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Heav’n speed the plow.</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene -->
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">422</span>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">147</span>
+<h4 class = "act"><a name = "eun_III" id = "eun_III">
+ACT THE THIRD.</a></h4>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "eun_III_I" id = "eun_III_I">
+SCENE I.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Thraso</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Gnatho</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thraso.</span> And Thais then returns me many
+thanks?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Ten thousand.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Say, is she delighted with it?</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Not for the present’s sake so
+much, as that</p>
+<p>From you it was presented: But therein</p>
+<p>She truly triumphs.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> I’m upon the watch,</p>
+<p>To mark a proper opportunity</p>
+<p>To bring my presents. But behold the Captain?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> It is, indeed, something, I know
+not how,</p>
+<p>Peculiar to me, do whate’er I please,</p>
+<p>It will appear agreeable.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> In truth</p>
+<p>I always have observ’d it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Ev’n the King</p>
+<p>Held himself much obliged, whate’er I did:</p>
+<p>Not so to others.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Not so much with the gift itself,
+as that</p>
+<p>By you ’twas given: but therein she triumphs.</p>
+
+<p class = "stagedir">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Parmeno</span> behind.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> I’m come to look about me, and
+observe</p>
+<p>A proper opportunity to bring</p>
+<p>My presents. But behold the Captain!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> ’Tis</p>
+<p>Something, I know not how, peculiar to me,</p>
+<p>That all I do ’s agreeable.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> In truth</p>
+<p>I have observ’d it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> E’en the King always</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">148</span>
+<p>Held himself much obliged, whate’er I did:</p>
+<p>Not so to others.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Men of wit, like you,</p>
+<p>The glory, got by others’ care and toil,</p>
+<p>Often transfer unto themselves.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> You’ve hit it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> The king then held
+you&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Certainly.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Most dear.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Most near. He trusted his whole
+army to me,</p>
+<p>His counsels.&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Wonderful!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> And then whene’er</p>
+<p>Satiety of company, or hate</p>
+<p>Of business seiz’d him&mdash;when he would repose&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>As if&mdash;&mdash;you understand me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Perfectly.</p>
+<p>When he would&mdash;in a manner&mdash;clear his stomach</p>
+<p>Of all uneasiness.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> The very thing.</p>
+<p>On such occasions he chose none but me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Hui! there’s a king indeed! a king
+of taste!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">149</span>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> No general man, I promise you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Oh no!</p>
+<p>He must have been particular indeed,</p>
+<p>If he convers’d with You.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> One of a thousand.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Of a million sure!</p>
+<p>&mdash;If he could live with you. (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> The courtiers all</p>
+<p>Began to envy me, and rail’d in secret:</p>
+<p>I car’d not; whence their spleen increas’d the more.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">423</span>
+<p>One in particular, who had the charge</p>
+<p>Of th’ Indian elephants; who grew at last</p>
+<p>So very troublesome, “I prithee, Strato,</p>
+<p>Are you so savage, and so fierce, (says I,)</p>
+<p>Because you’re governor of the wild beasts?”</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Oh, finely said! and shrewdly!
+excellent!</p>
+<p>Too hard upon him!&mdash;what said he to’t?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Nothing.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> And how the devil should he?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">150</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Gracious Heav’n!</p>
+<p>The stupid coxcomb!&mdash;and that rascal too! (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Aye! but the story of the Rhodian,
+Gnatho!</p>
+<p>How smart I was upon him at a feast&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>Did I ne’er tell you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Never: but pray do!</p>
+<p>&mdash;I’ve heard it o’er and o’er a thousand times.
+(<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> We were by chance together at a
+feast&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>This Rhodian, that I told you of and I.&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>I, as it happen’d, had a wench: the spark</p>
+<p>Began to toy with her, and laugh at me.</p>
+<p>“Why how now, Impudence! (said I,) are you</p>
+<p>A <i>hare</i> yourself, and yet would hunt for <i>game</i>?”</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Ha! ha! ha!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> What’s the matter?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Ha! ha! ha!</p>
+<p>Witty! smart! excellent! incomparable!</p>
+<p>Is it your own? I swear I thought ’twas old.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Why, did you ever hear it?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Very often;</p>
+<p>And reckon’d admirable.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">151</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> ’Tis my own.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> And yet ’twas pity to be so
+severe</p>
+<p>On a young fellow, and a gentleman.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Ah! devil take you!
+(<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> What became of him?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> It did for him. The company were
+all</p>
+<p>Ready to die with laughing:&mdash;in a word,</p>
+<p>They dreaded me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> No wonder.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Harkye, Gnatho!</p>
+<p>Thais, you know, suspects I love this girl.</p>
+<p>Shall I acquit myself?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> On no account.</p>
+<p>Rather increase her jealousy.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> And why?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Why?&mdash;do you ask?&mdash;as if
+you didn’t know!&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>Whene’er she mentions PhÊdria, or whene’er</p>
+<p>She praises him, to vex you&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> I perceive.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> To hinder that, you’ve only this
+resource.</p>
+<p>When she names PhÊdria, name you Pamphila.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">424</span>
+<p>If she should say, <ins class = "correction second" title =
+"quotation marks supplied from 1768 edition">“come!</ins> let’s have
+PhÊdria</p>
+<p>To dinner with us!”&mdash;“aye, and Pamphila</p>
+<p>To sing to us!”&mdash;if she praise PhÊdria’s person,</p>
+<p>Praise you the girl’s! so give her tit for tat,</p>
+<p>And gall her in her turn.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">152</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Suppose she lov’d me,</p>
+<p>This might avail me, Gnatho!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> While she loves</p>
+<p>The presents which you give, expecting more,</p>
+<p>So long she loves you; and so long you may</p>
+<p>Have pow’r to vex her. She will always fear</p>
+<p>To make you angry, lest some other reap</p>
+<p>The harvest, which she now enjoys alone.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> You’re right: and yet I never
+thought of it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Ridiculous! because you did not
+turn</p>
+<p>Your thoughts that way; or with how much more ease</p>
+<p>Would you have hit on this device yourself!</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene -->
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "eun_III_II" id = "eun_III_II">
+SCENE II.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Thais</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Pythias</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> I thought I heard the Captain’s
+voice: and see!</p>
+<p>Good-day, my Thraso!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Oh my Thais, welcome!</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">153</span>
+<p>How does my sweeting?&mdash;are you fond of me</p>
+<p>For sending you that music-girl?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Oh brave!</p>
+<p>He sets out nobly!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> For your worth I love you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Come, let’s to supper? why do you
+delay?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Mark t’other! he’s a chip of the
+old block.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> I’m ready when you please.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> I’ll up to her,</p>
+<p>And seem as if but now come forth.&mdash;Ha! Thais,</p>
+<p>Where are you gadding?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Well met, Parmeno!</p>
+<p>I was just going&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Whither?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Don’t you see</p>
+<p>The Captain?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Yes, I see him&mdash;to my
+sorrow.</p>
+<p>The presents from my master wait your pleasure.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">154</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Why do we stop thus? wherefore go
+not hence? (<i>Angrily.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Beseech you, Captain, let us, with
+your leave,</p>
+<p>Produce our presents, treat, and parley with her!</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Fine gifts, I warrant you,
+compar’d with mine!</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> They’ll answer for
+themselves&mdash;Ho, there! within!</p>
+<p>Order the slaves, I told you, to come forth.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> They’ll answer for
+themselves&mdash;Holo, there! order</p>
+<p>The slaves, I told you, to come forth.&mdash;Here, this way!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">425</span>
+
+<p class = "stagedir">
+Enter a <span class = "charname">Black Girl</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>This way! do you stand forward!&mdash;This girl, ma’am,</p>
+<p>Comes quite from Æthiopia.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Worth three MinÊ.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>Do you stand forward!&mdash;This girl, ma’am, comes quite</p>
+<p>From Ethiopia.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Worth about three MinÊ.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Scarce.</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div split -->
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Ho! where are you, Dorus?&mdash;Oh,
+come hither!</p>
+
+<p class = "stagedir">
+Enter <span class = "charname">ChÊrea</span> in the Eunuch’s habit.</p>
+
+<p>An Eunuch, Madam! of a lib’ral air,</p>
+<p>And in his prime!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Now as I live, he’s handsome!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> What say you, Gnatho? Is he
+despicable?</p>
+<p>Or, Captain, what say you?&mdash;Dumb?&mdash;Praise sufficient;</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">155</span>
+<p>Try him in letters, exercises, music:</p>
+<p>In all the arts, a gentleman should know,</p>
+<p>I’ll warrant him accomplish’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Troth, that Eunuch</p>
+<p>Is well enough.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> And he, who sends these
+presents,</p>
+<p>Requires you not to live for him alone,</p>
+<p>And for his sake to shut out all mankind:</p>
+<p>Nor does he tell his battles, show his wounds,</p>
+<p>Or shackle your free will, as some folks do.</p>
+
+<p class = "stagedir">
+Looking at <span class = "charname">Thraso</span>.</p>
+
+<p>But when ’twill not be troublesome, or when</p>
+<p>You’ve leisure, in due season, he’s content</p>
+<p>If then he is admitted.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> This poor fellow</p>
+<p>Seems to belong to a poor wretched master.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Beyond all doubt; for who that
+could obtain</p>
+<p>Another, would endure a slave like this?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">156</span>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Peace, wretch, that art below the
+meanest slave!</p>
+<p>You that could bring your mind so very low,</p>
+<p>As to cry aye and no at yon fool’s bidding,</p>
+<p>I’m sure, might get your bread out o’the fire.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Why don’t we go?
+(<i>Impatiently.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "second first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Let me but introduce</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Let me but carry in</p>
+<p>These first, and give some orders in the house,</p>
+<p>And I’ll attend you.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit with <span class = "charname">ChÊrea</span>, and the Ethiopian.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> I’ll depart from hence.</p>
+<p>Gnatho, wait you for her!</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> It ill beseems</p>
+<p>The dignity of a renown’d commander,</p>
+<p>T’ escort his mistress in the street.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Away,</p>
+<p>Slave! you’re beneath my notice&mdash;like your master.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Parmeno</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Ha! ha! ha! ha!</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> What moves your laughter,
+Gnatho?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Your speech but now: and then the
+Rhodian came</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> What moves your laughter?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> That</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">426</span>
+<p>You said just now: and then the Rhodian came</p>
+<p>Across my mind.&mdash;&mdash;But Thais comes.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Go run,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">157</span>
+<p>And see that ev’ry thing’s prepar’d at home!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> It shall be done.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais</span> (<i>entering with <span class =
+"charname">Pythias</span></i>). Take care now, Pythias,</p>
+<p>Great care, if Chremes come, to press him stay;</p>
+<p>Or, if that’s inconvenient, to return:</p>
+<p>If that’s impossible, then bring him to me!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> I’ll do so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Hold! what else had I to say?</p>
+<p>Take care, be sure, of yonder virgin! see,</p>
+<p>You keep at home.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Let’s go.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Girls, follow me!</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit, attended by Servants and <span class =
+"charname">Thraso</span>.</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene -->
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "eun_III_III" id = "eun_III_III">
+SCENE III.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene split">
+
+<p>In truth the more and more I think, the more</p>
+<p>I am convinc’d that Thais means me ill:</p>
+<p>So plain I see her arts to draw me in.</p>
+<p>Ev’n when she first invited me, (and when</p>
+<p>Had any ask’d, <i>What business have you there?</i></p>
+<p>The question would have stagger’d me,) she fram’d</p>
+<p>Sev’ral excuses to detain me there.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">158</span>
+<p>Said she had made a sacrifice, and had</p>
+<p>Affairs of consequence to settle with me.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Oho! thought I immediately, I smell</p>
+<p>A trick upon me!&mdash;down she sat, behav’d</p>
+<p>Familiarly, and tried to beat about</p>
+<p>For conversation. Being at a loss,</p>
+<p>She ask’d, how long my parents had been dead?</p>
+<p>&mdash;I told her, long time since:&mdash;on which she ask’d,</p>
+<p>Whether I had a country-house at Sunium?</p>
+<p>&mdash;And how far from the sea?&mdash;I half believe</p>
+<p>She likes my villa, and would wheedle me</p>
+<p>To give it her.&mdash;Her final questions were,</p>
+<p>If I ne’er lost a little sister thence?</p>
+<p>&mdash;Who was miss’d with her?&mdash;what she had when lost?</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>&mdash;If there was any body capable</p>
+<p>Of recollecting her?&mdash;Why all these questions?</p>
+<p>Unless perhaps she means,&mdash;a saucy baggage!&mdash;</p>
+<p>To play the counterfeit, and feign herself</p>
+<p>That sister, who was lost so long ago?</p>
+<p>But she, if living, is about sixteen;</p>
+<p>Not more: and Thais older than myself.</p>
+<p>She sent beside to press me earnestly</p>
+<p>To visit her again.&mdash;Or, let her say</p>
+<p>What she would have; or, trouble me no more!</p>
+<p>I’ll not return a third time.&mdash;Ho! who’s there?</p>
+<p>Here am I! Chremes!</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>If any one could know her? Why should Thais</p>
+<p>Demand all this, unless,&mdash;a saucy baggage!&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>She means to play the counterfeit, and feign</p>
+<p>Herself that sister?&mdash;but if she’s alive,</p>
+<p>She is about sixteen, not more; Thais</p>
+<p>Is elder than myself.&mdash;She sent beside</p>
+<p>To beg I’d come again.&mdash;Or, let her say</p>
+<p>What she would have; or, not be troublesome!</p>
+<p>I’ll not return a third time.&mdash;Ho! who’s there?</p>
+<p>Here am I! Chremes!</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">427</span>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">159</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "eun_III_IV" id = "eun_III_IV">
+SCENE IV.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Pythias</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Oh, sweet, charming, Sir!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chre.</span> A coaxing hussy!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Thais begs and prays</p>
+<p>You’d come again to-morrow.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chre.</span> I am going</p>
+<p>Into the country.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Nay, now prithee come?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chre.</span> I can’t, I tell you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Walk in, then, and stay</p>
+<p>Till she returns herself.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chre.</span> Not I.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> And why,</p>
+<p>Dear Chremes?</p>
+
+<p class = "second first">
+<span class = "charname">Chre.</span> Off, you saucy slut!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chre.</span> Go, and hang yourself! </p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Well, Sir,</p>
+<p>Since you’re so positive, shall I entreat you</p>
+<p>To go to her?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chre.</span> I will.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Here, Dorias! (<i>A maid-servant
+enters.</i>)</p>
+<p>Conduct this gentleman to Captain Thraso’s.</p>
+
+<p class = "stagedir">
+<span class = "charname">Pythias</span> re-enters.&mdash;<span class =
+"charname">Chremes</span> goes out another way with <span class =
+"charname">Dorias</span>.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">160</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "eun_III_V" id = "eun_III_V">
+SCENE V.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Antipho</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene split">
+
+<p>But yesterday a knot of us young fellows</p>
+<p>Assembled at PirÊus, and agreed</p>
+<p>To club together for a feast to-day.</p>
+<p>ChÊrea had charge of all; the rings were given,</p>
+<p>And time and place appointed.&mdash;The time’s past;</p>
+<p>No entertainment’s at the place; and ChÊrea</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>Is no where to be met with.&mdash;For my part,</p>
+<p>I’m quite to seek in this; and what to say,</p>
+<p>Or guess, I know not.&mdash;Yet the company</p>
+<p>Have all commission’d me to find him out.</p>
+<p>I’ll see if he’s at home;&mdash;but who comes here</p>
+<p>From Thais?&mdash;Is it he, or no?&mdash;’Tis he.&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>&mdash;What manner of man’s here?&mdash;what habit’s that?</p>
+<p>&mdash;What mischief is the meaning of all this?</p>
+<p>I’m all astonishment, and can not guess.</p>
+<p>But I’ll withdraw a while, and try to learn.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>Is nowhere to be found.&mdash;I can’t tell what</p>
+<p>To think on’t.&mdash;Yet the rest of my companions</p>
+<p>Have all commission’d me to seek him out.</p>
+<p>I’ll see if he’s at home;&mdash;but who comes here</p>
+<p>From Thais?&mdash;Is it he, or no?&mdash;’Tis he.&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>&mdash;What manner of man’s here?&mdash;what habit’s that?</p>
+<p>&mdash;What mischief has the rogue been at? I’m all</p>
+<p>Astonishment, and can not guess.&mdash;But I’ll</p>
+<p>Withdraw a while, and try to find it out. (<i>Retires.</i>)</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">161</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "eun_III_VI" id = "eun_III_VI">
+SCENE VI.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">ChÊrea</span>, in the Eunuch’s habit.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> (<i>looking about</i>). Is any
+body here?&mdash;No, nobody.</p>
+<p>Does any follow me?&mdash;No, nobody.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">428</span>
+<p>May I then let my ecstasy break forth!</p>
+<p>O Jupiter! ’tis now the very time,</p>
+<p>When I could suffer to be put to death,</p>
+<p>Lest not another transport like to this,</p>
+<p>Remain in life to come.&mdash;But is there not</p>
+<p>Some curious impertinent to come</p>
+<p>Across me now, and murder me with questions?</p>
+<p>&mdash;To ask, why I’m so flutter’d? why so joyful?</p>
+
+<p class = "second">
+Whither I’m going? whence I came? from whence</p>
+
+<p>Whither I’m going? whence I came? and where</p>
+<p>I got this habit? what I’m looking after?</p>
+<p>Whether I’m in my senses? or stark mad?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">162</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Anti.</span> I’ll go myself, and do that
+kindness to him.</p>
+<p>ChÊrea, (<i>advancing</i>,) what’s all this flutter? what’s this
+dress?</p>
+<p>What is’t transports you? what d’ye want? art mad?</p>
+<p>Why do ye start at me? and why not speak?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> O happy, happy day!&mdash;Save
+you, dear friend!</p>
+<p>There’s not a man on earth I’d rather see</p>
+<p>This moment than yourself.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Anti.</span> Come, tell me all!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Tell you! I will beseech you give
+me hearing.</p>
+<p>D’ye know my brother’s mistress here?</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Anti.</span> I do:</p>
+<p>Thais, I think.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> The same.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Anti.</span> I recollect.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Anti.</span> Yes: Thais,</p>
+<p>Or I’m deceiv’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> The same.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Anti.</span> I do remember.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> To-day a girl was sent a present
+to her.</p>
+<p>Why need I speak or praise her beauty now</p>
+<p>To you, that know me, and my taste so well?</p>
+<p>She set me all on fire.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Anti.</span> Is she so handsome?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Most exquisite: Oh, had you but
+once seen her,</p>
+<p>You would pronounce her, I am confident,</p>
+
+<p class = "second">
+The first of womankind.&mdash;But in a word,</p>
+
+<p>The first of womankind.&mdash;But to be brief,</p>
+<p>I fell in love with her.&mdash;By great good luck</p>
+<p>There was at home an Eunuch, which my brother</p>
+<p>Had bought for Thais, but not yet sent thither.</p>
+<p>&mdash;I had a gentle hint from Parmeno,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">163</span>
+<p>Which I seiz’d greedily.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Anti.</span> And what was that?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Peace, and I’ll tell you.&mdash;To
+change dresses with him,</p>
+<p>And order Parmeno to carry me</p>
+<p>Instead of him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Anti.</span> How? for an Eunuch, you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> E’en so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Anti.</span> What good could you derive from
+that?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> What good!&mdash;why, see, and
+hear, and be with her</p>
+<p>I languish’d for, my Antipho!&mdash;was that</p>
+<p>An idle reason, or a trivial good?</p>
+<p>&mdash;To Thais I’m deliver’d; she receives me,</p>
+<p>And carries me with joy into her house;</p>
+<p>Commits the charming girl&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">429</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Anti.</span> To whom?&mdash;&mdash;to you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> To me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Anti.</span> In special hands, I must
+confess.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span>&mdash;Enjoins me to permit no man
+come near her;</p>
+<p>Nor to depart, myself, one instant from her;</p>
+<p>But in an inner chamber to remain</p>
+<p>Alone with her alone. I nod, and look</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">164</span>
+<p>Bashfully on the ground.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Anti.</span> Poor simple soul!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> I am bid forth, says she; and
+carries off</p>
+<p>All her maid-servants with her, save some few</p>
+<p>Raw novices, who straight prepar’d the bath.</p>
+<p>I bade them haste; and while it was preparing,</p>
+<p>In a retiring-room the Virgin sat;</p>
+<p>Viewing a picture, where the tale was drawn</p>
+<p>Of Jove’s descending in a golden show’r</p>
+<p>To <ins class = "correction" title =
+"text reads ‘DanÊ’">Danaë’s</ins> bosom.&mdash;&mdash;I beheld it too,</p>
+<p>And because he of old the like game play’d,</p>
+<p>I felt my mind exult the more within me,</p>
+<p>That Jove should change himself into a man,</p>
+<p>And steal in secret through a stranger-roof,</p>
+<p>With a mere woman to intrigue.&mdash;Great Jove,</p>
+<p>Who shakes the highest heav’ns with his thunder!</p>
+<p>And I, poor mortal man, not do the same!&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>I did it, and with all my heart I did it.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">165</span>
+<p>&mdash;While thoughts, like these, possess’d my soul, they call’d</p>
+<p>The girl to bathe. She goes, bathes, then returns:</p>
+<p>Which done, the servants put her into bed.</p>
+<p>I stand to wait their orders. Up comes one,</p>
+<p><ins class = "correction second" title =
+"quotation marks supplied from 1768 edition">“Here,</ins>
+harkye, Dorus! take this fan and mark</p>
+<p>You cool her gently thus, while we go bathe.</p>
+<p>When we have bath’d, you, if you please, bathe too,”</p>
+<p>I, with a sober air, receive the fan.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Anti.</span> Then would I fain have seen your
+simple face!</p>
+<p>I should have been delighted to behold</p>
+<p>How like an ass you look’d, and held the fan.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Scarce had she spoke, when all
+rush’d out o’ doors;</p>
+<p>Away they go to bathe; grow full of noise,</p>
+<p>As servants use, when masters are abroad.</p>
+<p>Meanwhile sleep seiz’d the virgin: I, by stealth,</p>
+<p>Peep’d through the fan-sticks thus; then looking round,</p>
+<p>And seeing all was safe, made fast the door.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Anti.</span> What then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> What then, fool!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Anti.</span> I confess.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> D’ye think,</p>
+<p>Bless’d with an opportunity like this,</p>
+<p>So short, so wish’d for, yet so unexpected,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">166</span>
+<p>I’d let it slip? No. Then I’d been, indeed,</p>
+<p>The thing I counterfeited.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">430</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Anti.</span> Very true.</p>
+<p>But what’s become of our club-supper?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Ready.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Anti.</span> An honest fellow! where? at your
+own house?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> At Freeman Discus’s.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Anti.</span> A great way off.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Then we must make more haste.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Anti.</span> But change your dress.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Where can I change it? I’m
+distress’d. From home</p>
+<p>I must play truant, lest I meet my brother.</p>
+<p>My father too, perhaps, is come to town.</p>
+
+<p class = "second first">
+<span class = "charname">Anti.</span> Come to my house then! that’s the
+nearest place</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Anti.</span> Come then to my house! that’s the
+nearest place</p>
+<p>Where you may shift.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> With all my heart! let’s go!</p>
+<p>And at the same time, I’ll consult with you</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">167</span>
+<p>How to enjoy this dear girl.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Anti.</span> Be it so.</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene -->
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">168</span>
+<h4 class = "act"><a name = "eun_IV" id = "eun_IV">
+ACT THE FOURTH.</a></h4>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "eun_IV_I" id = "eun_IV_I">
+SCENE I.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Dorias</span>, with a Casket.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dorias.</span> Now, as I hope for mercy, I’m
+afraid,</p>
+<p>From what I’ve seen, lest yonder swaggerer</p>
+<p>Make some disturbance, or do violence</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">169</span>
+<p>To Thais. For as soon as Chremes came,</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>(Chremes, the youth that’s brother to the virgin,)</p>
+<p>She beg’d of Thraso, he might be admitted.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>(The youth that’s brother to the virgin,) she</p>
+<p>Beseech’d of Thraso he might be admitted.</p>
+<p>This piqu’d him; yet he durst not well refuse.</p>
+<p>She, fearing Chremes should not be detain’d,</p>
+<p>Till she had time and opportunity</p>
+<p>To tell him all she wish’d about his sister,</p>
+<p>Urg’d Thraso more and more to ask him in.</p>
+<p>The Captain coldly asks him; down he sat;</p>
+<p>And Thais enter’d into chat with him.</p>
+<p>The Captain, fancying a rival brought</p>
+<p>Before his face, resolv’d to vex her too:</p>
+<p><ins class = "correction second" title =
+"all quotation marks supplied from 1768 edition">“Here</ins>, boy,” said
+he, “let Pamphila be call’d</p>
+<p>To entertain us!”&mdash;“Pamphila!” cries Thais;</p>
+<p>“She at a banquet?&mdash;No it must not be.”&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>Thraso insisting on’t, a broil ensued:</p>
+<p>On which my mistress slyly slipping off</p>
+<p>Her jewels, gave them me to bear away;</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">170</span>
+<p>Which is, I know, a certain sign, she will,</p>
+<p>As soon as possible, sneak off herself. <i>Exit.</i>)</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">431</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "eun_IV_II" id = "eun_IV_II">
+SCENE II.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">PhÊdria</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Going into the country, I
+began</p>
+<p>(As happens when the mind is ill at ease)</p>
+<p>To ponder with myself upon the road,</p>
+<p>Tossing from thought to thought, and viewing all</p>
+<p>In the worst light. While thus I ruminate,</p>
+<p>I pass unconsciously my country-house,</p>
+<p>And had got far beyond, ere I perceiv’d it.</p>
+<p>I turn’d about, but with a heavy heart;</p>
+<p>And soon as to the very spot I came</p>
+<p>Where the roads part, I stop. Then paus’d a while:</p>
+<p><ins class = "correction second" title =
+"quotation marks supplied from 1768 edition">“Alas!</ins>
+thought I, and must I here remain</p>
+<p>Two days? alone: without her?&mdash;Well! what then?</p>
+<p>That’s nothing.&mdash;What, is’t nothing?&mdash;If I’ve not</p>
+<p>The privilege to touch her, shall I not</p>
+<p>Behold her neither?&mdash;If <i>one</i> may not be,</p>
+<p>At least the <i>other</i> shall.&mdash;And certainly</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">171</span>
+<p>Love, in its last degree, is something still.”</p>
+<p>&mdash;Then I, on purpose, pass’d the house.&mdash;But see!</p>
+<p>Pythias breaks forth affrighted.&mdash;What means this?</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "eun_IV_III" id = "eun_IV_III">
+SCENE III.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Pythias</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Dorias</span>; <span class = "charname">PhÊdria</span> at a
+distance.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Where shall I find, unhappy that I
+am,</p>
+<p>Where seek this rascal-slave?&mdash;this slave, that durst</p>
+<p>To do a deed like this?&mdash;Undone! undone!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> What this may be, I dread.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> And then the villain,</p>
+<p>After he had abused the virgin, tore</p>
+<p>The poor girl’s clothes, and dragg’d her by the hair.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> How’s this!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Who, were he now within my
+reach,</p>
+<p>How could I fly upon the vagabond,</p>
+<p>And tear the villain’s eyes out with my nails?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> What tumult’s this, arisen in my
+absence?</p>
+<p>I’ll go and ask her.&mdash; (<i>Going up.</i>) What’s the matter,
+Pythias?</p>
+<p>Why thus disturb’d? and whom is it you seek?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Whom do I seek? Away, Sir
+PhÊdria!</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">172</span>
+<p>You and your gifts together!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> What’s the matter?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> The matter, Sir! the Eunuch, that
+you sent us,</p>
+<p>Has made fine work here! the young virgin, whom</p>
+<p>The Captain gave my mistress, he has ravish’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Ravish’d? How say you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Ruin’d, and undone!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> You’re drunk.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">432</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Would those who wish me ill were
+so!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dori.</span> Ah Pythias! what strange prodigy
+is this?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> You’re mad: how could an
+Eunuch&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> I don’t know</p>
+<p>Or who, or what he was.&mdash;What he has done,</p>
+<p>The thing itself declares.&mdash;&mdash;The virgin weeps,</p>
+<p>Nor, when you ask what ails her, dare she tell.</p>
+<p>But he, good man, is nowhere to be found:</p>
+<p>And I fear too, that when he stole away,</p>
+<p>He carried something off.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> I can’t conceive</p>
+<p>Whither the rascal can have flown, unless</p>
+<p>He to our house, perhaps, slunk back again.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> See now, I pray you, if he
+has.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> I will.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dori.</span> Good lack! so strange a thing I
+never heard.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> I’ve heard, that they lov’d women
+mightily</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">173</span>
+<p>But could do nothing; yet I never thought on’t:</p>
+<p>For if I had, I’d have confin’d him close</p>
+<p>In some by-place, nor trusted the girl to him.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "eun_IV_IV" id = "eun_IV_IV">
+SCENE IV.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Re-enter <span class = "charname">PhÊdria</span>, with <span class =
+"charname">Dorus</span> the Eunuch, in <span class =
+"charname">ChÊrea’s</span> clothes.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Out, rascal, out!&mdash;What are
+you resty, Sirrah?</p>
+<p>Out, thou vile bargain!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dor.</span> Dear Sir! (<i>Crying.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> See the wretch!</p>
+<p>What a wry mouth he makes!&mdash;Come, what’s the meaning</p>
+<p>Of your returning? and your change of dress?</p>
+<p>What answer, Sirrah!&mdash;If I had delay’d</p>
+<p>A minute longer, Pythias, I had miss’d him,</p>
+<p>He was equipp’d so bravely for his flight.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> What, have you got the rogue?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> I warrant you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Well done! well done!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dori.</span> Aye, marry, very well.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">174</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Where is he?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Don’t you see him?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> See him? whom?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> This fellow, to be sure.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> This man! who is he?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> He that was carried to your house
+to-day.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> None of our people ever laid their
+eyes</p>
+<p>Upon this fellow, PhÊdria!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Never saw him?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Why, did you think this fellow had
+been brought</p>
+<p>To us?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Yes, surely; for I had no
+other.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Oh dear! this fellow’s not to be
+compar’d</p>
+<p>To t’other.&mdash;He was elegant, and handsome.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">433</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Aye, so he might appear a while
+ago,</p>
+<p>Because he had gay clothes on: now he seems</p>
+<p>Ugly, because he’s stripped.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Nay, prithee, peace!</p>
+<p>As if the diff’rence was so very small!&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>The youth conducted to our house to-day,</p>
+<p>’Twould do you good to cast your eyes on, PhÊdria:</p>
+<p>This is a drowsy, wither’d, weasel-fac’d,</p>
+<p>Old fellow.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">175</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> How?&mdash;&mdash;you drive me to
+that pass,</p>
+<p>That I scarce know what I have done myself.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Did not I buy you, rascal? (<i>To <span class =
+"charname">Dorus</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dor.</span> Yes, Sir.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Order him</p>
+<p>To answer me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Well, question him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Dorus</span></i>). Was you</p>
+<p>Brought here to-day? (<i>Shakes his head.</i>) See there! Not he. It
+was</p>
+<p>Another, a young lad, about sixteen,</p>
+<p>Whom Parmeno brought with him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Dorus</span></i>). Speak to me!</p>
+<p>First tell me, whence had you that coat? What, dumb?</p>
+<p>I’ll make you speak, you villain? (<i>Beating him.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dor.</span> ChÊrea came&mdash;&mdash;
+(<i>Crying.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> My brother?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dor.</span> Yes, Sir!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> When?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dor.</span> To-day.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> How long since?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">176</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dor.</span> Just now.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> With whom?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dor.</span> With Parmeno.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Did you</p>
+<p>Know him before?</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dor.</span> No, Sir; nor e’er heard of him.</p>
+
+<p class = "second first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> How did you know he was my brother
+then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> How did you know then that he was
+my brother?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dor.</span> Parmeno told me so; and ChÊrea</p>
+<p>Gave me these clothes&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Confusion! (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dor.</span> Put on mine;</p>
+<p>And then they both went out o’ doors together.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Now, Sir, do you believe that I am
+sober?</p>
+<p>Now do you think, I’ve told no lie? And now</p>
+<p>Are you convinc’d the girl has been abus’d!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Away, fool! d’ye believe what this
+wretch says?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> What signifies belief?&mdash;It
+speaks itself.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> (<i>apart to <span class =
+"charname">Dorus</span></i>). Come this way&mdash;hark
+ye!&mdash;&mdash;further still.&mdash;&mdash;Enough.</p>
+<p>Tell me once more.&mdash;&mdash;Did ChÊrea strip you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dor.</span> Yes.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">434</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> And put your clothes on?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dor.</span> Yes, Sir!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> And was brought</p>
+<p>In your stead hither?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dor.</span> Yes.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">177</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Great Jupiter! (<i>Pretending to
+be in a passion with him.</i>)</p>
+<p>What a most wicked scoundrel’s this?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Alas!</p>
+<p>Don’t you believe, then, we’ve been vilely us’d?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> No wonder if you credit what he
+says.</p>
+<p>I don’t know what to do. (<i>Aside.</i>)&mdash;Here, harkye,
+Sirrah!</p>
+<p>Deny it all again. (<i>Apart to <span class =
+"charname">Dorus</span>.</i>)&mdash;What! can’t I beat</p>
+<p>The truth out of you, rascal?&mdash;have you seen</p>
+<p>My brother ChÊrea? (<i>Aloud, and beating him.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dor.</span> No, Sir! (<i>Crying.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> So! I see</p>
+<p>He won’t confess without a beating.&mdash;This way! (<i>Apart.</i>)
+Now</p>
+<p>He owns it; now denies it.&mdash;Ask my pardon! (<i>Apart.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dor.</span> Beseech you, Sir, forgive me!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Get you gone. (<i>Kicking
+him.</i>)</p>
+<p>Oh me! oh dear!</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit, howling.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> (<i>aside</i>). I had no other
+way</p>
+<p>To come off handsomely.&mdash;We’re all undone.</p>
+<p>&mdash;D’ye think to play your tricks on me, you rascal?</p>
+<p class = "exit">
+Aloud, and Exit after <span class = "charname">Dorus</span>.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">178</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "eun_IV_V" id = "eun_IV_V">
+SCENE V.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Manent <span class = "charname">Pythias</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Dorias</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> As sure as I’m alive, this is a
+trick</p>
+<p>Of Parmeno’s.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dori.</span> No doubt on’t.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> I’ll devise</p>
+<p>Some means to-day to fit him for’t.&mdash;But now</p>
+<p>What would you have me do?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dori.</span> About the girl!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Aye; shall I tell; or keep the
+matter secret?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dori.</span> Troth, if you’re wise you know not
+what you know,</p>
+<p>Nor of the Eunuch, nor the ravishment:</p>
+<p>So shall you clear yourself of all this trouble,</p>
+<p>And do a kindness to our mistress too.</p>
+<p>Say nothing, but that Dorus is gone off.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> I’ll do so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dori.</span> Prithee is not Chremes yonder?</p>
+<p>Thais will soon be here.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> How so?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dori.</span> Because</p>
+<p>When I came thence, a quarrel was abroach</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">179</span>
+<p>Among them.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">435</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Carry in the jewels, Dorias.</p>
+<p>Meanwhile I’ll learn of Chremes what has happen’d.</p>
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Dorias</span>.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "eun_IV_VI" id = "eun_IV_VI">
+SCENE VI.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Chremes</span> tipsy.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> So! so!&mdash;I’m in
+for’t&mdash;and the wine I’ve drank</p>
+<p>Has made me reel again.&mdash;Yet while I sat,</p>
+<p>How sober I suppos’d myself!&mdash;But I</p>
+<p>No sooner rose, than neither foot, nor head,</p>
+<p>Knew their own business!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Chremes!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Who’s that?&mdash;Ha!</p>
+<p>Pythias!&mdash;How much more handsome you seem now,</p>
+<p>Than you appear’d a little while ago!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> I’m sure you seem a good deal
+merrier.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I’faith it’s an old saying, and a
+true one,</p>
+<p>“Ceres and Bacchus are warm friends of Venus.”</p>
+<p>&mdash;But, pray, has Thais been here long before me?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Has she yet left the
+Captain’s?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Long time since:</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">180</span>
+<p>An age ago. They’ve had a bloody quarrel.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Did not she bid you follow
+her?</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Not she:</p>
+<p>Only she made a sign to me at parting.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Well, wasn’t that enough?</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> No, faith! I never</p>
+<p>At all conceiv’d her meaning, till the Captain</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> No, faith! I did not</p>
+<p>At all conceive her meaning, till the Captain</p>
+<p>Gave me the hint, and kick’d me out o’ doors!</p>
+<p>&mdash;But here she is! I wonder how it was,</p>
+<p>I overtook her!</p>
+
+</div>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "eun_IV_VII" id = "eun_IV_VII">
+SCENE VII.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Thais</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> I am apt to think,</p>
+<p>The Captain will soon follow me, to take</p>
+<p>The virgin from me: Well then, let him come!</p>
+<p>But if he does but lay a finger on her,</p>
+<p>We’ll tear his eyes out.&mdash;His impertinence.</p>
+<p>And big words, while mere words, I can endure;</p>
+<p>But if he comes to action, woe be to him!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Thais, I have been here some
+time.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> My Chremes!</p>
+<p>The very man I wanted!&mdash;Do you know</p>
+<p>That you have been th’ occasion of this quarrel?</p>
+<p>And that this whole affair relates to you?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">181</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> To me! how so?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">436</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Because, while I endeavor,</p>
+<p>And study to restore your sister to you,</p>
+<p>This and much more I’ve suffer’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Where’s my sister?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Within, at my house.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Ha! (<i>With concern.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Be not alarm’d:</p>
+<p>She has been well brought up, and in a manner</p>
+<p>Worthy herself and you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Indeed?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> <ins class = "correction second"
+title = "apostrophe missing in Harper edition">’Tis</ins> true:</p>
+<p>And now most freely I restore her to you,</p>
+<p>Demanding nothing of you in return.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I feel your goodness, Thais, and
+shall ever</p>
+<p>Remain much bounden to you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Aye, but now</p>
+<p>Take heed, my Chremes, lest ere you receive</p>
+<p>The maid from me, you lose her! for ’tis she,</p>
+<p>Whom now the Captain comes to take by storm.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Pythias, go, fetch the casket with the proofs!</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> D’ye see him, Thais? (<i>Looking
+out.</i>)</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Where does the casket stand?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Upon the cabinet.&mdash;D’ye
+loiter, hussy?</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Where’s the casket plac’d?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Plac’d in the cabinet.&mdash;D’ye
+loiter, hussy?</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Pythias</span>.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">182</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What force the Captain brings
+with him against you!</p>
+<p>Good Heav’n!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Are you afraid, young
+gentleman?</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Away!&mdash;who? I?
+afraid?&mdash;No mortal less.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Nay, you had need be stout at
+present, Chremes.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Away!&mdash;who? I?
+afraid?&mdash;There is no man</p>
+<p>Alive less so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> You’d need be stout at
+present.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What kind of man d’ye take me
+for?</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div split -->
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Consider,</p>
+<p>He, whom you’ve now to cope with, is a stranger</p>
+<p>Less powerful than you, less known, and less</p>
+<p>Befriended here than you!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I know all that:</p>
+<p>But why, like fools, admit what we may shun?</p>
+<p>Better prevent a wrong, than afterward</p>
+<p>Revenge it, when receiv’d&mdash;&mdash;Do you step in,</p>
+<p>And bolt the door, while I run to the Forum,</p>
+<p>And call some officers to our assistance. (<i>Going.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Stay! (<i>Holding him.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> ’Twill be better.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Hold!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Nay, let me go!</p>
+<p>I’ll soon be back.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> We do not want them, Chremes.</p>
+<p>Say, only, that this maiden is your sister,</p>
+<p>And that you lost her when a child, and now</p>
+<p>Know her again for yours.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">437</span>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">183</span>
+<p class = "stagedir">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Pythias</span>.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Pyth</span>.</i>) Produce the proofs!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Here they are.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Take them, Chremes!&mdash;If the
+Captain</p>
+<p>Attempts to do you any violence,</p>
+<p>Lead him before a magistrate. D’ye mark me?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I do.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Be sure now speak with a good
+courage!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I will.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Come, gather up your
+cloak.&mdash;&mdash;Undone!</p>
+
+<p class = "second">
+My champion wants a champion for himself.</p>
+
+<p>I’ve got a champion, who wants help himself.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exeunt.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "eun_IV_VIII" id = "eun_IV_VIII">
+SCENE VIII.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Thraso</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Gnatho</span>, <span class = "charname">Sanga</span>,
+etc.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thraso.</span> Shall I put up with an affront
+so gross,</p>
+<p>So monstrous, Gnatho?&mdash;No, I’d rather die.</p>
+<p>Simalio, Donax, Syrus, follow me!</p>
+<p>First, I will storm their castle.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Excellent!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Next carry off the Virgin.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Admirable!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Then punish Thais herself.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Incomparable!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Here, in the centre, Donax, with
+your club!</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">184</span>
+<p>Do you, Simalio, charge on the left wing!</p>
+<p>You, Syrus, on the right!&mdash;Bring up the rest!</p>
+<p>Where’s the Centurion Sanga, and his band</p>
+<p>Of rascal runaways?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> Here, Sir!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> How now?</p>
+<p>Think’st thou to combat with a dish-clout, slave!</p>
+<p>That thus thou bring’st it here?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> Ah, Sir! I knew</p>
+<p>The valor of the gen’ral and his troops;</p>
+<p>And seeing this affair must end in blood,</p>
+<p>I brought a clout, to wipe the wounds withal.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Where are the rest?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> Rest! Plague, whom d’ye mean?</p>
+<p>There’s nobody, but Sannio, left at home.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Lead you the van (<i>to <span
+class = "charname">Gnatho</span></i>); and I’ll bring up the rear:</p>
+<p>Thence give the word to all.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> What wisdom is!</p>
+<p>Now he has drawn up these in rank and file,</p>
+<p>His post behind secures him a retreat.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Just so his line of battle Pyrrhus
+form’d.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">185</span>
+<p class = "stagedir">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Thais</span> appear above at a window.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> D’ye see, my Thais, what he is
+about?</p>
+<p>To bar and bolt the doors was good advice.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">438</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Tut, man! you fool, that seems so
+mighty brave,</p>
+<p>Is a mere coward. Do not be afraid!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> What were best? (<i>To <span class
+= "charname">Gnatho</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Troth, I wish you had a sling:</p>
+<p>That you from far in ambush might attack them!</p>
+<p>They’d soon fly then, I warrant you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> But see!</p>
+<p>Thais appears.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Let’s charge them then! Come
+on!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Halt!&mdash;’Tis the part of a
+wise general</p>
+<p>To try all methods, ere he come to arms.</p>
+<p>How do you know, but Thais may obey</p>
+<p>My orders without force?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Oh, gracious Heavens!</p>
+<p>Of what advantage is it to be wise!</p>
+<p>I ne’er approach but I go wiser from you.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Thais, first answer this! Did you,
+or no,</p>
+<p>When I presented you the Virgin, promise,</p>
+<p>To give yourself some days to me alone?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> What then?</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Is that a question, when you
+brought</p>
+<p>Your lover to affront me to my face?&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> What business have you with
+him?</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Is that a question, when you
+durst</p>
+<p>To bring a rival to my face?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> And what</p>
+<p>Business have you with him?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">186</span>
+
+<p class = "allclear">&nbsp;</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> &mdash;&mdash;And stole off</p>
+<p>In company with him?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> It was my pleasure.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Therefore, restore me Pamphila;
+unless</p>
+<p>You choose to see her carried off by force.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> &mdash;&mdash;And then stole
+off</p>
+<p>In company with him?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> It was my pleasure.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Therefore, restore my Pamphila;
+unless</p>
+<p>You choose to see her carried off by force.</p>
+
+<p class = "allclear">&nbsp;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> She restore Pamphila to you? Or
+you</p>
+<p>Attempt to touch her, rascal?</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div split -->
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Ah, beware!</p>
+<p>Peace, peace, young gentleman!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Chrem</span>.</i>) What is’t you mean?</p>
+<p>Shall I not touch my own?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Your own, you scoundrel?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Take heed! you know not whom you
+rail at thus.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Won’t you be gone?&mdash;here,
+hark ye, Sir! d’ye know</p>
+<p>How matters stand with you?&mdash;if you attempt</p>
+<p>To raise a riot in this place to-day,</p>
+<p>I’ll answer for it, that you shall remember</p>
+<p>This place, to-day, and me, your whole life-long.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> I pity you: to make so great a
+man</p>
+<p>Your enemy!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Hence! or I’ll break your
+head.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> How’s that, you hang-dog? Are you
+for that sport?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Who are you, fellow?&mdash;what
+d’ye mean?&mdash;and what</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">187</span>
+<p>Have you to do with Pamphila?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I’ll tell you,</p>
+<p>First, I declare, that she’s a free-born woman!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">439</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> How?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> And a citizen of Athens.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Hui!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> My sister.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> Impudence!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> So, Captain, now</p>
+<p>I give you warning, offer her no force!</p>
+<p>&mdash;Thais, I’ll now to Sophrona, the Nurse,</p>
+<p>And bring her here with me to see the proofs.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> And you prohibit me to touch my
+own?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Yes, I prohibit you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> D’ye hear? he owns</p>
+<p>The robbery himself. Isn’t that sufficient?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> And, Thais, you maintain the
+same?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Ask those</p>
+<p>Who care to answer. (<i>Shuts down the window.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "stagedir">
+Manent <span class = "charname">Thraso</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Gnatho</span>, etc.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> What shall we do now?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Why&mdash;e’en go back
+again!&mdash;This harlot here</p>
+<p>Will soon be with you to request forgiveness.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> D’ye think so?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Aye, most certainly. I know</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">188</span>
+<p>The ways of women.&mdash;When you will, they won’t;</p>
+<p>And when you won’t, they’re dying for you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> True.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Shall I disband the army?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thra.</span> When you will.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Sanga, as well becomes a brave
+militia,</p>
+<p>Take to your houses and firesides again.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> My mind was like a sop i’ th’ pan,
+long since.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Good fellow!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> To the right about there!
+march!</p>
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit, with <span class = "charname">Gnatho</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Thraso</span> at the head of the troops.</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene -->
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">189</span>
+<h4 class = "act"><a name = "eun_V" id = "eun_V">
+ACT THE FIFTH.</a></h4>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "eun_V_I" id = "eun_V_I">
+SCENE I.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Thais</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Pythias</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Still, still, you, baggage, will
+you shuffle with me?</p>
+<p>&mdash;“I know&mdash;I don’t know&mdash;he’s gone off&mdash;I’ve
+heard&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>I was not present”&mdash;Be it what it may,</p>
+<p>Can’t you inform me openly?&mdash;The Virgin,</p>
+<p>Her clothes all torn, in sullen silence weeps.</p>
+<p>The Eunuch’s fled.&mdash;What means all this? and what</p>
+<p>Has happen’d?&mdash;Won’t you answer me?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">440</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Alas!</p>
+<p>What can I answer you?&mdash;He was, they say,</p>
+<p>No Eunuch.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> What then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> ChÊrea.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> ChÊrea!</p>
+<p>What ChÊrea?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> PhÊdria’s younger brother.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> How!</p>
+<p>What’s that, hag?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">190</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> I’ve discover’d it: I’m sure
+on’t.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Why, what had he to do with us?
+or why</p>
+<p>Was he brought hither?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> That I can not tell;</p>
+<p>Unless, as I suppose, for love of Pamphila.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Alas! I am undone; undone,
+indeed,</p>
+<p>If that, which you have told me now, be true.</p>
+<p>Is’t that the girl bemoans thus?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> I believe so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> How, careless wretch! was that
+the charge I gave you</p>
+<p>At my departure?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> What could I do? She</p>
+<p>Was trusted, as you bade, to him alone.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Oh, jade, you set the wolf to
+keep the sheep</p>
+<p>&mdash;I’m quite asham’d to ’ve been so poorly bubbled.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Who comes here?&mdash;Hist! peace,
+madam, I beseech you!</p>
+<p>We’re safe: we have the very man.</p>
+<p class = "stagedir">
+Seeing <span class = "charname">ChÊrea</span> at a distance.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Where is he?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Here, on the left; d’ye see him,
+ma’am?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> I see him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Let him be seiz’d immediately!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> And what</p>
+<p>Can we do to him, fool?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Do to him, say you?</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">191</span>
+<p>&mdash;See, what a saucy face the rogue has got!</p>
+<p>Ha’nt he?&mdash;and then how settled an assurance?</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "eun_V_II" id = "eun_V_II">
+SCENE II.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">ChÊrea</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> At Antipho’s, as if for spite,
+there were</p>
+<p>His father and his mother both at home,</p>
+<p>So that I could by no means enter, but</p>
+<p>They must have seen me. Meanwhile, as I stood</p>
+<p>Before the door, came by an old acquaintance,</p>
+<p>At sight of whom I flew, with all my speed,</p>
+<p>Into a narrow, unfrequented alley;</p>
+<p>And thence into another, and another,</p>
+<p>Frighten’d and flurried as I scampered on,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">441</span>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>Lest any one should know me in this habit.</p>
+<p>But is that Thais? She. I’m all aground.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>Lest any one should know me.&mdash;But is that</p>
+<p>Thais? ’Tis she herself. I’m all aground.</p>
+<p>What shall I do?&mdash;Pshaw! what have I to care?</p>
+<p>What can she do to me?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Let’s up to him.</p>
+<p>Oh, Dorus! good Sir, welcome!&mdash;And so, Sirrah,</p>
+<p>You ran away.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">192</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Yes, madam!</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> And you think</p>
+<p>It was a clever trick, I warrant you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> No, madam!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Can you believe that you shall go
+unpunish’d?</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> And you think</p>
+<p>It was a clever trick?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> No, madam!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Can you</p>
+<p>Believe that you shall go unpunish’d for it?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Forgive me this one fault! If I
+commit</p>
+<p>Another, kill me!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Do you dread my cruelty?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> No, ma’am!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> What then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> I was afraid, lest She</p>
+<p>Accuse me to you. (<i>Pointing to <span class =
+"charname">Pythias</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "second first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Of what crime?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Upon what account? </p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> A little matter.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Rogue! a little matter?</p>
+<p>Is it so little, think you, to abuse</p>
+<p>A virgin, and a citizen!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> I thought</p>
+<p>She was my fellow-servant.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Fellow-servant!</p>
+<p>I can scarce hold from flying at his hair.</p>
+<p>Monstrous! he’s come to make his sport of us.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Away! you rave.</p>
+
+<p class = "second first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Not I. If I had done ’t,</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Why so? if I had done ’t,</p>
+<p>I should have still been in the monster’s debt;</p>
+<p>Particularly, as he owns himself</p>
+<p>Your servant.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Well&mdash;no more of
+this.&mdash;Oh, ChÊrea,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">193</span>
+<p>You’ve done a deed unworthy of yourself:</p>
+<p>For granting I, perhaps, might well deserve</p>
+<p>This injury, it was not honorable</p>
+<p>In you to do it.&mdash;As I live, I know not</p>
+<p>What counsel to pursue about this girl;</p>
+<p>You’ve so destroy’d my measures, that I can’t</p>
+<p>Restore her, without blushing to her friends,</p>
+<p>Nor so deliver her, as I propos’d,</p>
+<p>To make them thank me for my kindness, ChÊrea!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Henceforth, I hope, eternal peace
+shall be</p>
+<p>Betwixt us, Thais! Oft from things like these,</p>
+<p>And bad beginnings, warmest friendships rise.</p>
+<p>What if some God hath order’d this?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Indeed,</p>
+<p>I’ll so interpret it, and wish it so.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">442</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> I prithee do!&mdash;and be assured
+of this,</p>
+<p>That naught I did in scorn, but all in love.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> I do believe it; and, on that
+account,</p>
+<p>More readily forgive you: for oh! ChÊrea,</p>
+<p>I am not form’d of an ungentle nature,</p>
+<p>Nor am I now to learn the pow’r of love.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Now, Thais, by my life, I love
+thee too.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Then, by my troth, you must take
+care of him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> I durst not&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> I don’t mind a word you say.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Have done!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">194</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> But now, in this one
+circumstance,</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>Let me beseech you to assist me, Thais!</p>
+<p>I trust myself entirely to your care:</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>Let me beseech you to assist me! I</p>
+<p>Commit myself entirely to your care:</p>
+<p>Invoke you, as my patroness; implore you.</p>
+<p>Perdition seize me, but I’ll marry her!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> But if your
+father&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> What of him? I know</p>
+<p>He’ll soon consent, provided it appears</p>
+<p>That she’s a citizen.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> If you will wait</p>
+<p>A little while, her brother will be here:</p>
+<p>He’s gone to fetch the nurse that brought her up;</p>
+<p>And you shall witness the discovery.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> I will remain then.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> But, in the mean time,</p>
+<p>Had you not rather wait within, than here</p>
+<p>Before the door?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Much rather.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> What the plague</p>
+<p>Are you about?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> What now?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> What now, indeed?</p>
+<p>Will you let him within your doors again?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Why not?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Remember that I prophesy,</p>
+<p>He’ll make some fresh disturbance.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Prithee, peace!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">195</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> It seems, you have not had
+sufficient proof</p>
+<p>Of his assurance.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> I’ll do no harm, Pythias!</p>
+
+<p class = "second first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> I’ll not believe it, till I see
+it, ChÊrea.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> I’ll not believe it, ChÊrea, till
+I see it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> But you shall keep me,
+Pythias!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> No, not I.</p>
+<p>For, by my troth, I would trust nothing with you,</p>
+<p>Neither to keep, nor be kept by you.&mdash;Hence!</p>
+<p>Away!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Oh brave! the brother’s here!
+(<i>Looking out.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Confusion!</p>
+<p>Let’s in, dear Thais! I’d not have him see me</p>
+<p>Here in this dress.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">443</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Why so? Are you asham’d?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> I am indeed.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Indeed! asham’d! oh dear!</p>
+<p>Think of the girl!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thais.</span> Go in! I’ll follow you.</p>
+<p>Pythias, do you stay here to bring in Chremes.</p>
+<p class = "exit">
+Exeunt <span class = "charname">Thais</span> and <span class =
+"charname">ChÊrea</span>.</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene -->
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">196</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "eun_V_III" id = "eun_V_III">
+SCENE III.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Pythias</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Chremes</span>, <span class = "charname">Sophrona</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> What can I think of? what can I
+devise?</p>
+<p>Some trick now to be even with that rogue</p>
+<p>Who palm’d this young spark on us.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> (<i>leading the nurse</i>). Nay,
+but stir</p>
+<p>Your stumps a little faster, nurse!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Soph.</span> I come.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Aye, marry; but you don’t come on
+a jot.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Well! have you shown the tokens to
+the nurse?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I have.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> And pray what says she? Did she
+know them?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> At first sight.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Oh brave news! I’m glad to hear
+it;</p>
+<p>For I’ve a kindness for the girl. Go in;</p>
+<p>My mistress is impatient for your coming.</p>
+<p class = "exit">
+Exeunt <span class = "charname">Chremes</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Sophrona</span>.</p>
+<p>See, yonder’s my good master Parmeno,</p>
+<p>Marching this way: How unconcern’d, forsooth,</p>
+<p>He stalks along!&mdash;But I’ve devis’d, I hope,</p>
+<p>The means to vex him sorely.&mdash;First I’ll in,</p>
+<p>To know the truth of this discovery,</p>
+<p>And then return to terrify this rascal.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">197</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "eun_V_IV" id = "eun_V_IV">
+SCENE IV.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Parmeno</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> I’m come to see what ChÊrea has
+been doing:</p>
+<p>Who, if he has but manag’d matters well,</p>
+<p>Good Heav’ns, how much, and what sincere applause</p>
+<p>Shall Parmeno acquire!&mdash;For not to mention,</p>
+<p>In an intrigue so difficult as this,</p>
+<p>Of so much probable expense at least,</p>
+<p>Since with a griping harlot he’d have bargain’d,</p>
+<p>That I’ve procur’d for him the girl he lov’d,</p>
+<p>Without cost, charge, or trouble; t’other point,</p>
+<p>That, that I hold my master-piece, there think</p>
+<p>I’ve gain’d the prize, in showing a young spark</p>
+<p>The dispositions and the ways of harlots:</p>
+<p>Which having early learn’d, he’ll ever shun.</p>
+<p class = "stagedir">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Pythias</span> behind.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">444</span>
+<p>When they’re abroad, forsooth, there’s none so clean,</p>
+<p>Nothing so trim, so elegant, as they;</p>
+<p>Nor, when they sup with a gallant, so nice!</p>
+<p>To see these very creatures’ gluttony,</p>
+<p>Filth, poverty, and meanness, when at home;</p>
+<p>So eager after food, that they devour</p>
+<p>From yesterday’s stale broth the coarse black bread:&mdash;</p>
+<p>All this to know is safety to young men.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">198</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "eun_V_V" id = "eun_V_V">
+SCENE V.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Pythias</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Parmeno</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> (<i>behind</i>). ’Faith, Sirrah,
+I’ll be handsomely revenged</p>
+<p>For all you’ve done and said. You shall not boast</p>
+<p>Your tricks on us without due punishment.</p>
+<p class = "stagedir">
+Aloud, coming forward.</p>
+<p>Oh Heav’ns! oh dreadful deed! oh hapless youth!</p>
+<p>Oh wicked Parmeno, that brought him here!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> What now?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> It mov’d me so. I could not
+bear</p>
+<p>To see it: therefore I flew out o’ doors.</p>
+<p>What an example will they make of him!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Oh Jupiter! What tumult can this
+be?</p>
+<p>Am I undone, or no?&mdash;I’ll e’en inquire.</p>
+<p>Pythias! (<i>going up.</i>) What now? what is’t you rave about?</p>
+<p>Who’s to be made this terrible example?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Who? most audacious monster! while
+you meant</p>
+<p>To play your tricks on us, you have destroyed</p>
+<p>The youth whom you brought hither for the Eunuch.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> How so? and what has happen’d?
+Prithee tell me!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">199</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Tell you? D’ye know the virgin,
+that was sent</p>
+<p>To-day to Thais, is a citizen?</p>
+<p>Her brother too a man of the first rank?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> I did not know it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Aye, but so it seems.</p>
+<p>The poor young spark abus’d the girl; a thing</p>
+<p>No sooner known, than he, the furious brother&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Did what?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> First bound him hand and
+foot&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> How! bound him!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> And now, though Thais begged him
+not to do it&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> How! what!</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Moreover threatens, he will serve
+him</p>
+<p>After the manner of adulterers;</p>
+<p>A thing I ne’er saw done, and ne’er desire.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> How durst he offer at an act so
+monstrous?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> And why so monstrous?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Is it not most monstrous?</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>Who ever saw a young man seiz’d by force,</p>
+<p>And punish’d for adultery in a brothel?</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>Who ever saw a young man seiz’d and bound</p>
+<p>For rapes and lewdness in a house of harlots?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">445</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> I don’t know.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Aye; but you must all know
+this.</p>
+<p>I tell you, and foretell you, that young spark</p>
+<p>Is my old master’s son.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Indeed, is he?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">200</span>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> And let not Thais suffer any
+one</p>
+<p>To do him any violence!&mdash;But why</p>
+<p>Don’t I rush in myself?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Ah! have a care</p>
+<p>What you’re about; lest you do him no good,</p>
+<p>And hurt yourself: for they imagine you,</p>
+<p>Whatever has been done, the cause of all.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> And let not Thais suffer any
+one</p>
+<p>To do him violence!&mdash;But why don’t I</p>
+<p>Rush in myself?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Ah! take care, Parmeno,</p>
+<p>What you’re about; lest you do him no good,</p>
+<p>And hurt yourself: for they imagine you,</p>
+<p>Whatever has been done, the cause of all.</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> What shall I do then? what resolve?
+Confusion!</p>
+<p>&mdash;Oh! yonder’s my old master, just return’d</p>
+<p>To town. Shall I tell <i>him</i> of it, or no?</p>
+<p>I’ll tell him, tho’ I am well convinc’d, the blame</p>
+<p>Will light on me, and heavily: And yet</p>
+<p>It must be done to help poor ChÊrea.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> What shall I do then, wretch? what
+undertake?</p>
+<p>&mdash;Oh! yonder’s my old master, just return’d</p>
+<p>To town. Shall I tell him, or no?&mdash;I’ faith</p>
+<p>I’ll tell him, though I am well convinc’d it will</p>
+<p>Bring me into a scrape; a heavy one: And yet</p>
+<p>It must be done to help poor ChÊrea.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Right.</p>
+<p>I’ll in again; and you, in the mean while,</p>
+<p>Tell the old gentleman the whole affair.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div split -->
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene -->
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "eun_V_VI" id = "eun_V_VI">
+SCENE VI.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Laches</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Laches.</span> I’ve this convenience from my
+neighb’ring villa;</p>
+<p>I’m never tir’d of country or of town.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">201</span>
+<p>For as disgust comes on, I change my place.</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>&mdash;But is not that our Parmeno? ’Tis he.</p>
+<p>Parmeno, who is it you’re waiting for </p>
+</div>
+
+<p>&mdash;But is not that our Parmeno? ’Tis he</p>
+<p>For certain.&mdash;Whom d’ye wait for, Parmeno,</p>
+<p>Before that door?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Who’s that? Oh, Sir! you’re
+welcome:</p>
+<p>I’m glad to see you safe return’d to town.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Laches.</span> Whom do you wait for?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> I’m undone: my tongue</p>
+<p>Cleaves to my mouth through fear.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Laches.</span> Ha! what’s the matter?</p>
+<p>Why do you tremble so? Is all right? Speak!</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> First be persuaded, Sir,&mdash;for
+that’s the case,</p>
+<p>Whatever has befall’n has not befall’n</p>
+<p>Through any fault of mine.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Laches.</span> What is’t?</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> First, Sir, I’d have you think, for
+so it is,</p>
+<p>Whatever has befall’n has not befall’n</p>
+<p>Through any fault of mine.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Laches.</span> What is’t?</p>
+
+<p class = "allclear">&nbsp;</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> That’s true.</p>
+<p>Your pardon, Sir, I should have told that first.</p>
+<p>&mdash;PhÊdria lately bought a certain Eunuch</p>
+<p>By way of present to this gentlewoman.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Laches.</span> What gentlewoman, sirrah?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Madam Thais.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> That’s true.</p>
+<p>Your pardon, Sir, I should have told that first.</p>
+<p>&mdash;PhÊdria, Sir, bought a certain Eunuch, as</p>
+<p>A present to send her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Laches.</span> Her!&mdash;Her! whom?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Thais.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Laches.</span> Bought? I’m undone! at what
+price?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Twenty MinÊ.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">446</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Laches.</span> I’m ruin’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> And then ChÊrea’s fall’n in
+love</p>
+<p>With a young music-girl.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Laches.</span> How! what! in love!</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">202</span>
+<p>Knows he already what a harlot is?</p>
+
+<p class = "second">
+Is he in town? misfortune on misfortune!</p>
+
+<p>Has he stol’n into town? More plagues on plagues.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Nay, Sir! don’t look on me! it was
+not done</p>
+<p>By my advice.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Laches.</span> Leave prating of yourself.</p>
+<p>As for you, rascal, if I live&mdash;But first</p>
+<p>Whatever has befallen, tell me, quick!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> ChÊrea was carried thither for the
+Eunuch.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Laches.</span> He for the Eunuch!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Yes: since when, within</p>
+<p>They’ve seiz’d and bound him for a ravisher.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Laches.</span> Confusion<ins class =
+"correction harper" title =
+"1768 edition has question mark">!&nbsp;</ins></p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> See the impudence of harlots!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Laches.</span> Is there aught else of evil or
+misfortune</p>
+<p>You have not told me yet?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> You know the whole.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Laches.</span> Then why do I delay to rush in
+on them?</p>
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">203</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> There is no doubt but I shall smart
+for this.</p>
+<p>But since I was oblig’d to ’t, I rejoice</p>
+<p>That I shall make these strumpets suffer too:</p>
+<p>For our old gentleman has long desir’d</p>
+<p>Some cause to punish them; and now he has it.</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene split -->
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "eun_V_VII" id = "eun_V_VII">
+SCENE VII.</a></h5>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Pythias</span>; <span class =
+"charname">Parmeno</span> at a distance.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Well! I was ne’er more pleas’d in
+all my life</p>
+<p>Than when I saw th’ old man come blund’ring in.</p>
+<p>I had the jest alone; for I alone</p>
+<p>Knew what he was afraid of.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Hey! what now?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> I’m now come forth t’ encounter
+Parmeno.</p>
+<p>Where is he?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> She seeks me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Oh, there he is.</p>
+<p>I’ll go up to him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Well, fool, what’s the matter?
+(<i><span class = "charname">Pythias</span> laughs.</i>)</p>
+<p>What would you? what d’ye laugh at? Hey! what still?</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Oh, I shall die: I’m horribly
+fatigu’d</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">204</span>
+<p>With laughing at you. (<i>Laughing heartily.</i>)</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> For what cause?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> What cause?</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Why so? pray!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Why so? (<i>Laughing.</i>)</p>
+<p>I ne’er saw, ne’er shall see, a greater fool.</p>
+<p>Oh, it’s impossible to tell what sport</p>
+<p>You’ve made within.&mdash;I swear, I always thought</p>
+<p>That you had been a shrewd, sharp, cunning fellow.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">447</span>
+<p>What! to believe directly what I told you!</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>Or was not you contented with the crime</p>
+<p>You urg’d the youth to perpetrate, unless</p>
+<p>You afterwards betray’d him to his father?</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>Or was you prick’d in conscience for the sin</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">205</span>
+<p>The young man had committed through your means,</p>
+<p>That you must after tell his father of him?</p>
+<p>How d’ye suppose he felt when old gray-beard</p>
+<p>Surpris’d him in that habit?&mdash;What! you find</p>
+<p>That you’re undone. (<i>Laughing heartily.</i>)</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div split -->
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> What’s this, impertinence?</p>
+<p>Was it a lie you told me? D’ye laugh still?</p>
+<p>Is’t such a jest to make fools of us, hag?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Delightful! (<i>Laughing.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> If you don’t pay dearly for
+it!&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Perhaps so. (<i>Laughing.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> I’ll return it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Oh, no doubt on’t.
+(<i>Laughing.</i>)</p>
+<p>But what you threaten, Parmeno, is distant:</p>
+<p>You’ll be truss’d up to-day; who first draw in</p>
+<p>A raw young man to sin, and then betray him.</p>
+<p>They’ll both conspire to make you an example. (<i>Laughing.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> I’m done for.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pyth.</span> Take this, slave, as a reward</p>
+<p>For the fine gift you sent us; so, farewell!</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Pythias</span>.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> I’ve been a fool indeed; and like a
+rat,</p>
+<p>Betray’d myself to-day by my own squeaking.</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene -->
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">206</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "eun_V_VIII" id = "eun_V_VIII">
+SCENE VIII.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Thraso</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Gnatho</span>; <span class = "charname">Parmeno</span>
+behind.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> What now? with what hope, or
+design, advance we?</p>
+<p>What’s your intention, Thraso?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thraso.</span> My intention?</p>
+<p>To Thais to surrender at discretion.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> How say you?</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> What now? in what hope, or with
+what design</p>
+<p>Advance we hither? what adventure, Thraso?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thraso.</span> What do I mean?&mdash;To Thais
+to surrender</p>
+<p>On her own terms?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Indeed?</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<span class = "pagenum colman">207</span>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thraso.</span> Even so. Why should not I,</p>
+<p>As well as Hercules to Omphale?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> A fit example.&mdash;Oh, that I
+could see her</p>
+<p>Combing your empty noddle with her slipper!</p>
+<p>But her door opens.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thraso.</span> Indeed! why not,</p>
+<p>As well as Hercules to Omphale?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> A fit example.&mdash;Would I might
+behold</p>
+<p>Your head broke with her slipper. (<i>Aside.</i>) But her doors</p>
+<p>Creak, and fly open.</p>
+
+<p class = "second first">
+<span class = "charname">Thraso.</span> Death! what mischief now?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thraso.</span> ’Sdeath! what mischief now?</p>
+<p>I ne’er so much as saw this face before.</p>
+<p>Why bursts he forth with such alacrity?</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene -->
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "eun_V_IX" id = "eun_V_IX">
+SCENE IX.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">ChÊrea</span> at another part of the
+stage.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Lives there, my countrymen, a
+happier man</p>
+<p>To-day than I?&mdash;Not one.&mdash;For on my head</p>
+<p>The gods have plainly emptied all their store,</p>
+<p>On whom they’ve pour’d a flood of bliss at once.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">448</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> What’s he so pleas’d at?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">208</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> (<i>seeing him.</i>) Oh my
+Parmeno</p>
+<p>Inventor, undertaker, perfecter</p>
+<p>Of all my pleasures, know’st thou my good fortunes?</p>
+<p>Know’st thou my Pamphila’s a citizen?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> I’ve heard so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Know’st thou she’s betroth’d my
+wife?</p>
+
+<p class = "second first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Good news, by heaven!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Oh brave, by Heav’n! </p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Hear you what he says? (<i>To
+<span class = "charname">Thraso</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Then I rejoice, my brother
+PhÊdria’s love</p>
+<p>Is quietly secur’d to him forever:</p>
+<p>We’re now one family: and Thais has</p>
+<p>Found favor with my father, and resign’d</p>
+<p>Herself to us for patronage and care.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> She’s then entirely PhÊdria’s!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Aye, entirely.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Another cause of joy: the Captain
+routed!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> See, Parmeno, my brother
+(wheresoe’er</p>
+<p>He be) know this, as soon as possible!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> I’ll see if he’s at home.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thraso.</span> Hast any doubt,</p>
+<p>Gnatho, but I’m entirely ruin’d?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> None at all.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> What shall I mention first? whom
+praise the most!</p>
+<p>Him that advis’d this action? or myself</p>
+<p>That durst to undertake it?&mdash;or extol</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">209</span>
+<p>Fortune, the governess of all, who deign’d,</p>
+<p>Events so many, of such moment too,</p>
+<p>So happily to close within one day?</p>
+<p>Or shall I praise my father’s frank good-humor,</p>
+<p>And gay festivity?&mdash;&mdash;Oh, Jupiter,</p>
+
+<p class = "second">
+Make but these blessings permanent!</p>
+
+<p>Make but these blessings sure!</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "eun_V_X" id = "eun_V_X">
+SCENE X.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">PhÊdria</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Good heavens!</p>
+<p>What wondrous things has Parmeno just told me!</p>
+<p>But where’s my brother?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Here.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> I’m quite transported.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> O heavenly powers!</p>
+<p>What wondrous things has Parmeno just told me!</p>
+<p>But where’s my brother?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> Here he is.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> I’m happy.</p>
+
+<p class = "allclear">&nbsp;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> I dare believe you are; and trust
+me, brother,</p>
+<p>Naught can be worthier of your love than Thais:</p>
+<p>Our family are all much bounden to her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> So! you’d need sing her praise to
+me!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thraso.</span> Confusion!</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>As my hope dies, my passion gathers strength.</p>
+<p>Gnatho, your help! my only hope’s in you.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>As my hope dies, my love increases. Gnatho</p>
+<p>Your help! my expectation’s all in you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> What would you have me do?</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div split -->
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thraso.</span> Accomplish this;</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">449</span>
+<p>By pray’r, by purchase, that I still may have</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">210</span>
+<p>Some little share in Thais.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> A hard task!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thraso.</span> Do but incline to do’t, you can,
+I know.</p>
+<p>Effect it, and demand whatever gift,</p>
+<p>Whate’er reward you please, it shall be yours.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Indeed?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thraso.</span> Indeed!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> If I accomplish this,</p>
+<p>I claim, that you agree to throw your doors,</p>
+<p>Present or absent, always open to me;</p>
+<p>A welcome, uninvited guest forever.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thraso.</span> I pawn my honor as the
+pledge.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> I’ll try.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> What voice is that? Oh,
+Thraso!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thraso.</span> Gentlemen,</p>
+<p>Good-day!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Perhaps you’re not acquainted
+yet</p>
+<p>With what has happen’d here?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thraso.</span> I am.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Why then</p>
+<p>Do I behold you in these territories?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thraso.</span> Depending on&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Depend on naught but this!</p>
+<p>Captain, I give you warning, if, henceforth,</p>
+<p>I ever find you in this street, although</p>
+<p>You tell me, “<i>I was looking for another,</i></p>
+<p><i>I was but passing through</i>,” expect no quarter.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">211</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Oh fie! that is not handsome.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> I have said it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> You can not be so rude.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> It shall be so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> First grant me a short hearing: if
+you like</p>
+<p>What I propose, agree to’t.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Let us hear!</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Do you retire a moment, Thraso!
+(<i><span class = "charname">Thraso</span> retires.</i>) First,</p>
+<p>I must beseech you both, most firmly think,</p>
+<p>That I, whate’er I do in this affair,</p>
+<p>For my own sake I do it: but if that</p>
+<p>Likewise advantage you, not to agree</p>
+<p>In you were folly.</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> What are your proposals?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> I think, ’twere not imprudent to
+admit</p>
+<p>The Captain, as your rival.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> How!</p>
+<p>Admit him, say you?</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> What is’t you propose?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> I think you should admit the
+Captain, as</p>
+<p>Your rival.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> How? admit him?</p>
+
+<p class = "allclear">&nbsp;</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Nay reflect a little.</p>
+<p>PhÊdria, you live at a high rate with Thais,</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Nay consider!</p>
+<p>PhÊdria, you live at a high rate with her,</p>
+<p>Revel, and feast, and stick at no expense.</p>
+<p>Yet what you give’s but little, and you know</p>
+<p>’Tis needful Thais should receive much more</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">450</span>
+<p>Now to supply your love without your cost,</p>
+<p>A fitter person, one more form’d, can’t be</p>
+<p>Than Thraso is: first, he has wherewithal</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">212</span>
+<p>To give, and gives most largely: a fool too,</p>
+<p>A dolt, a block, that snores out night and day;</p>
+<p>Nor can you fear she’ll e’er grow fond of him;</p>
+<p>And you may drive him hence whene’er you please.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> What shall we do? (<i>To <span
+class = "charname">ChÊrea</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Moreover this; the which</p>
+<p>I hold no trifle, no man entertains</p>
+<p>More nobly or more freely.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> I begin</p>
+<p>To think we’ve need of such a fool.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> And I.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Well judg’d! and let me beg one
+favor more;</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>Admit me into your fraternity!</p>
+<p>I’ve roll’d this stone too long.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>Admit me of your family!&mdash;I have</p>
+<p>Roll’d this stone long enough.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> We do admit you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> With all our hearts.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> And you, Sirs, in return,</p>
+<p>Shall pledge me in the Captain; eat him; drink him:</p>
+<p>And laugh at him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">ChÊr.</span> A bargain!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> ’Tis his due.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">213</span>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Thraso, whene’er you please, come
+forward!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thraso.</span> Well!</p>
+<p>How stands the case?</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Thraso, whene’er you please,
+approach!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thraso.</span> Pray now,</p>
+<p>How stands the case?</p>
+
+<p class = "allclear">&nbsp;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Alas! they knew you not!</p>
+<p>But when I drew your character, and prais’d</p>
+<p>Your worth, according to your deeds and virtues,</p>
+<p>I gain’d my point.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Thraso.</span> ’Tis well: I’m much oblig’d;</p>
+<p>I ne’er was any where, in all my life,</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>But all folks lov’d me most exceedingly.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> There, did I not assure you,
+gentlemen,
+<p>That he had all the Attick Elegance?</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>But all folks lov’d me dearly.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Did not I</p>
+<p>Say he had all the Attic elegance?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> He is the very character you
+drew.</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div split -->
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Gnat.</span> Retire then.&mdash;Ye, (<i>to the
+audience</i>,) farewell, and clap your hands!</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene -->
+
+</div> <!-- end div play -->
+
+
+<p class = "illustration">
+<img src = "images/selftorm.jpg" width = "334" height = "371"
+alt = "comic masks">
+</p>
+
+
+<div class = "play">
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">451</span>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">218</span>
+
+<h2 class = "title"><a name = "tormentor" id = "tormentor">
+THE SELF-TORMENTOR.</a></h2>
+
+<hr class = "mid">
+
+<h5>PERSONS REPRESENTED.</h5>
+
+<table class = "cast" summary = "cast of characters">
+<tr>
+<td class = "castleft">
+<p class = "charname">Prologue.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Menedemus.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Chremes.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Clinia.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Clitipho.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Syrus.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Dromo.</p>
+</td>
+<td class = "castright">
+<p class = "charname">Sostrata.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Antiphila.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Bacchis.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Nurse.</p>
+<p><i><span class = "charname">Phrygia</span>, and other servants of
+<span class = "charname">Bacchis</span>.</i></p>
+</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class = "scene" colspan = "2">
+<p><i><span class = "smallcaps">Scene</span>, a Village near <span class
+= "smallcaps">Athens</span>.</i></p>
+</td>
+</tr>
+</table>
+
+<hr class = "mid">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">221</span>
+<h5><a name = "torm_prolog" id = "torm_prolog">
+PROLOGUE.</a></h5>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "indent">
+<span class = "firstword">Lest</span> any of you wonder, why the
+Bard</p>
+<p>To an old actor hath assign’d the part</p>
+<p>Sustain’d of old by young performers; that</p>
+<p>I’ll first explain: then say what brings</p>
+<p>To-day, a whole play, wholly from the Greek,</p>
+<p>We mean to represent:&mdash;The Self-Tormentor:</p>
+<p>Wrought from a single to a double plot.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">222</span>
+<p class = "indent">
+Now therefore that our comedy is new,</p>
+<p>And what it is, I’ve shown: who wrote it too,</p>
+<p>And whose in Greek it is, were I not sure</p>
+<p>Most of you knew already, would I tell.</p>
+<p>But, wherefore I have ta’en this part upon me,</p>
+<p>In brief I will deliver: for the Bard</p>
+<p>Has sent me here as pleader, not as Prologue;</p>
+<p>You he declares his judges, me his counsel:</p>
+<p>And yet as counsel nothing can I speak</p>
+<p>More than the Author teaches me to say,</p>
+<p>Who wrote th’ oration which I now recite.</p>
+
+<p class = "indent">
+As to reports, which envious men have spread,</p>
+<p>That he has ransack’d many Grecian plays,</p>
+<p>While he composes some few Latin ones,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">223</span>
+<p>That he denies not, he has done; nor does</p>
+<p>Repent he did it; means to do it still;</p>
+<p>Safe in the warrant and authority</p>
+<p>Of greater bards, who did long since the same.</p>
+<p>Then for the charge, that his arch-enemy</p>
+<p>Maliciously reproaches him withal,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">452</span>
+<p>That he but lately hath applied himself</p>
+<p>To music, with the genius of his friends,</p>
+<p>Rather than natural talents, fraught; how true,</p>
+<p>Your judgment, your opinion, must decide.</p>
+<p>I would entreat you, therefore, not to lean</p>
+<p>To tales of slander, rather than of candor.</p>
+<p>Be favorable; nurse with growing hopes</p>
+<p>The bards, who give you pleasing novelties;</p>
+<p><i>Pleasing</i> I say, not such as <i>His</i> I mean,</p>
+<p>Who lately introduc’d a breathless slave,</p>
+<p>Making the crowd give way&mdash;But wherefore trace</p>
+<p>A dunce’s faults? which shall be shown at large,</p>
+<p>When more he writes, unless he cease to rail.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">224</span>
+<p class = "indent">
+Attend impartially! and let me once</p>
+<p>Without annoyance act an easy part;</p>
+<p>Lest your old servant be o’er-labor’d still</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">225</span>
+<p>With toilsome characters, the running slave,</p>
+<p>The eating parasite, enrag’d old man,</p>
+<p>The bold-fac’d sharper, covetous procurer;</p>
+<p>Parts, that ask pow’rs of voice, and iron sides.</p>
+<p>Deign then, for my sake, to accept this plea,</p>
+<p>And grant me some remission from my labor.</p>
+<p>For they, who now produce new comedies,</p>
+<p>Spare not my age! If there is aught laborious,</p>
+<p>They run to me; but if of little weight,</p>
+<p>Away to others. In our piece to-day</p>
+<p>The style is pure: now try my talents then</p>
+<p>In either character. If I for gain,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">226</span>
+<p>Never o’er-rated my abilities;</p>
+<p>If I have held it still my chief reward</p>
+<p>To be subservient to your pleasure; fix</p>
+<p>In me a fair example, that our youth</p>
+<p>May seek to please you, rather than themselves.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">227</span>
+<h4 class = "act"><a name = "torm_I" id = "torm_I">
+ACT THE FIRST.</a></h4>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_I_I" id = "torm_I_I">
+SCENE I.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Menedemus</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Though our acquaintance is as yet
+but young,</p>
+<p>Since you have bought this farm that neighbors mine,</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p>And little other commerce is betwixt us;</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">228</span>
+<p>Yet or your virtue, or good neighborhood,</p>
+<p>(Which is in my opinion kin to friendship,)</p>
+<p>Urge me to tell you, fairly, openly,</p>
+<p>That you appear to me to labor more</p>
+<p>Than your age warrants, or affairs require.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">453</span>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>For in the name of heav’n and earth, what would you?</p>
+<p>What do you drive at? Threescore years of age,</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>Now, in the name of heav’n and earth, what is’t</p>
+<p>You want? what seek you? Threescore years of age,</p>
+<p>Or older, as I guess; with an estate,</p>
+<p>Better than which, more profitable, none</p>
+<p>In these parts hold; master of many slaves;</p>
+<p>As if you had not one at your command,</p>
+<p>You labor in their offices yourself.</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>I ne’er go out so soon, return so late,</p>
+<p>Morning or evening, but I see you still</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">229</span>
+<p>At labour on your acres, digging, plowing,</p>
+<p>Or carrying some burden: in a word,</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>I ne’er go out so soon at morn, return</p>
+<p>So late at eve, but in your grounds I see you</p>
+<p>Dig, plow, or fetch and carry: in a word,</p>
+<p>You ne’er remit your toil, nor spare yourself.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">230</span>
+<p>This, I am certain, is not done for pleasure.</p>
+<p>&mdash;You’ll say, perhaps, it vexes you to see</p>
+<p>Your work go on so slowly;&mdash;do but give</p>
+<p>The time you spend in laboring yourself</p>
+<p>To set your slaves to work, ’twill profit more.</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div split -->
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">231</span>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Have you such leisure from your
+own affairs</p>
+<p>To think of those, that don’t concern you, Chremes?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I am a man, and feel for all
+mankind.</p>
+<p>Think, I advise, or ask for information:</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">232</span>
+<p>If right, that I may do the same; if wrong,</p>
+<p>To turn you from it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> I have need to do thus.</p>
+<p>Do you as you think fit.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Need any man</p>
+<p>Torment himself?</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> I need.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">233</span>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> If you’re unhappy,</p>
+<p>I’m sorry for it. But what evil’s this?</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> If there’s a cause,</p>
+<p>I’d not oppose it. But what evil’s this?</p>
+<p>What is th’ offense so grievous to your nature,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">234</span>
+<p>That asks such cruel vengeance on yourself?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Alas! alas! (<i>In tears.</i>)</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div split -->
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Nay, weep not; but inform me.</p>
+<p>Be not reserv’d; fear nothing: prithee, trust me:</p>
+<p>By consolation, counsel, or assistance,</p>
+<p><ins class = "correction second" title = "invisible in Harper
+edition">I </ins>possibly may serve you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Would you know it?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Aye, for the very reason I have
+mention’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> I will inform you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> But meanwhile lay down</p>
+<p>Those rakes: don’t tire yourself.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> It must not be.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What mean you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Give me leave: that I may take</p>
+<p>No respite from my toil.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I’ll not allow it. (<i>Taking
+away the rakes.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Ah, you do wrong.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What, and so heavy too!
+(<i>Weighing them in his hand.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Such my desert.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Now speak. (<i>Laying down the
+rakes.</i>)</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">454</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> One only son</p>
+<p>I have.&mdash;<i>Have</i>, did I say?&mdash;<i>Had</i> I mean,
+Chremes.</p>
+<p>Have I or no, is now uncertain.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">235</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Wherefore?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> That you shall know. An old
+Corinthian woman</p>
+<p>Now sojourns here, a stranger in these parts,</p>
+<p>And very poor. It happen’d, of her daughter</p>
+<p>My son became distractedly enamor’d;&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>E’en to the brink of marriage; and all this</p>
+<p>Unknown to me: which I no sooner learn’d</p>
+<p>Than I began to deal severely with him,</p>
+<p>Not as a young and love-sick mind requir’d,</p>
+<p>But in the rough and usual way of fathers.</p>
+<p>Daily I chid him; crying, “How now, Sir!</p>
+<p>Think you that you shall hold these courses long,</p>
+<p>And I your father living?&mdash;Keep a mistress,</p>
+<p>As if she were your wife!&mdash;You are deceiv’d,</p>
+<p>If you think that, and do not know me, Clinia.</p>
+<p>While you act worthily, you’re mine; if not,</p>
+<p>I shall act toward you worthy of myself.</p>
+<p>All this arises from mere idleness.</p>
+<p>I, at your age, ne’er thought of love; but went</p>
+<p>To seek my fortune in the wars in Asia,</p>
+<p>And there acquir’d in arms both wealth and glory.”</p>
+<p>&mdash;In short, things came to such a pass, the youth,</p>
+<p>O’ercome with hearing still the self-same thing,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">236</span>
+<p>And wearied out with my reproaches; thinking,</p>
+<p>Age and experience had enabled me</p>
+<p>To judge his interest better than himself,</p>
+<p>Went off to serve the king in Asia, Chremes.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> How say you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Stole away three months ago,</p>
+<p>Without my knowledge.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Both have been to blame:</p>
+<p>And yet this enterprise bespeaks a mind,</p>
+<p>Modest and manly.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Having heard of this</p>
+<p>From some of his familiars, home I came</p>
+<p>Mournful, half-mad, and almost wild with grief.</p>
+<p>I sit me down; my servants run to me;</p>
+<p>Some draw my sandals off; while others haste</p>
+<p>To spread the couches, and prepare the supper:</p>
+<p>Each in his way, I mark, does all he can</p>
+<p>To mitigate my sorrow. Noting this,</p>
+<p><ins class = "correction second" title =
+"inner quotation marks supplied from 1768 edition">“How,”</ins>
+said I to myself, “so many then</p>
+<p>Anxious for me alone? to pleasure me?</p>
+<p>So many slaves to dress me? All this cost</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">237</span>
+<p>For me alone?&mdash;Meanwhile, my only son,</p>
+<p>For whom all these were fit, as well as me,</p>
+<p>Nay rather more, since he is of an age</p>
+<p>More proper for their use; him, him, poor boy,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">455</span>
+<p>Has my unkindness driven forth to sorrow.</p>
+<p>Oh I were worthy of the heaviest curse,</p>
+<p>Could I brook that!&mdash;No; long as he shall lead</p>
+<p>A life of penury abroad, an exile</p>
+<p>Through my unjust severity, so long</p>
+<p>Will I revenge his wrongs upon myself,</p>
+<p>Laboring, scraping, sparing, slaving for him.”</p>
+<p>&mdash;In short, I did so; in the house I left</p>
+<p>Nor clothes, nor movables: I scrap’d up all.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">238</span>
+<p>My slaves, both male and female, except those</p>
+<p>Who more than earn’d their bread in country-work,</p>
+<p>I sold: Then set my house to sale: In all</p>
+<p>I got together about fifteen talents;</p>
+<p>Purchas’d this farm; and here fatigue myself;</p>
+<p>Thinking I do my son less injury,</p>
+<p>While I’m in misery too; nor is it just</p>
+<p>For me, I think, to taste of pleasure here,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">239</span>
+<p>Till he return in safety to partake on’t.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> You I believe a tender parent,
+him</p>
+<p>A duteous son, if govern’d prudently.</p>
+<p>But you was unacquainted with his nature,</p>
+<p>And he with yours: sad life, where things are so!</p>
+<p>You ne’er betray’d your tenderness to him;</p>
+<p>Nor durst he place that confidence in you,</p>
+<p>Which well becomes the bosom of a father.</p>
+<p>Had that been done, this had not happen’d to you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> True, I confess; but I was most in
+fault.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> All, Menedemus, will, I hope, be
+well,</p>
+<p>And trust, your son will soon return in safety.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Grant it, good Gods!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> They will. Now, therefore,
+since</p>
+<p>The Dionysia are held here to-day,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">240</span>
+<p>If ’tis convenient, come, and feast with me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Impossible.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Why so?&mdash;Nay, prithee
+now,</p>
+<p>Indulge yourself a while: your absent son,</p>
+<p>I’m sure, would have it so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> It is not meet,</p>
+<p>That I, who drove him forth to misery,</p>
+<p>Should fly it now myself.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> You are resolv’d?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Most constantly.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">241</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Farewell then!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Fare you well!</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene -->
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_I_II" id = "torm_I_II">
+SCENE II.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene split">
+
+<p>He draws tears from me.&mdash;How I pity him!</p>
+<p>&mdash;But ’tis high time, as the day goes, to warn</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">456</span>
+<p>My neighbor Phania to come forth to supper.</p>
+<p>I’ll go, and see if he’s at home.</p>
+
+<p class = "stagedir">
+Goes to <span class = "charname">Phania’s</span> door, and returns.</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "indent">There was,</p>
+<p>It seems, no need of warning: for, they tell me,</p>
+<p>He went to his appointment some time since.</p>
+<p>’Tis I myself that keep my guests in waiting.</p>
+<p>I’ll in immediately.&mdash;But what’s the meaning</p>
+<p>That my door opens?&mdash;Who’s this?&mdash;I’ll retire.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "indent">There was,</p>
+<p>It seems, no need of warning: for, they tell me,</p>
+<p>He has been gone to my house some time since;</p>
+<p>I keep my guests in waiting; so I’ll in.</p>
+<p>But my doors creak. (<i><span class = "charname">Clitipho</span>
+appears.</i>) Who’s this? I’ll step aside. (<i>Retires.</i>)</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_I_III" id = "torm_I_III">
+SCENE III.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Clitipho</span>, speaking to <span class
+= "charname">Clinia</span> within.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>As yet, my Clinia, you’ve no cause to fear:</p>
+<p>They are not long: and she, I’m confident,</p>
+<p>Will be here shortly with the messenger.</p>
+<p>Prithee, away then with these idle cares,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">242</span>
+<p>Which thus torment you!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> (<i>behind.</i>) Whom does my son
+speak to?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> My father as I wish’d&mdash;Good
+Sir, well met.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What now?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> D’ye know our neighbor
+Menedemus?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Aye, very well.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> D’ye know he has a son?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I’ve heard he is in Asia.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> No such thing.</p>
+<p>He’s at our house, Sir.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> How!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> But just arriv’d:</p>
+<p>Ev’n at his landing I fell in with him,</p>
+<p>And brought him here to supper: for, from boys,</p>
+<p>We have been friends and intimates.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Good news:</p>
+<p>Now do I wish the more that Menedemus,</p>
+<p>Whom I invited, were my guest to-day,</p>
+
+<p class = "second">
+That I, and under my own roof, might be</p>
+
+<p>That I, and under my own roof, had been</p>
+<p>The first to have surpris’d him with this joy!</p>
+<p>And I may yet. (<i>Going.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Take heed! it were not good.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> How so?</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Because the youth is yet in
+doubt:</p>
+<p>Newly arriv’d; in fear of ev’ry thing;</p>
+<p>He dreads his father’s anger, and suspects</p>
+<p>The disposition of his mistress tow’rds him;</p>
+<p>Her, whom he dotes upon; on whose account,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">243</span>
+<p>This diff’rence and departure came about.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I know it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> He has just dispatch’d his boy</p>
+<p>Into the city to her, and our Syrus</p>
+<p>I sent along with him.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">457</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What says the son?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Says? that he’s miserable.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Miserable!</p>
+<p>Who needs be less so? for what earthly good</p>
+<p>Can man possess which he may not enjoy?</p>
+<p>Parents, a prosp’rous country, friends, birth, riches.</p>
+<p>Yet these all take their value from the mind</p>
+<p>Of the possessor: he that knows their use,</p>
+<p>To him they’re blessings; he that knows it not,</p>
+<p>To him misuse converts them into curses.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Nay, but he ever was a cross old
+man:</p>
+<p>And now there’s nothing that I dread so much,</p>
+<p>As lest he be transported in his rage</p>
+<p>To some gross outrages against his son.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> He!&mdash;He!&mdash;But I’ll
+contain myself. ’Tis good</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">244</span>
+<p>For Menedemus that his son should fear. (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> What say you, Sir, within
+yourself! (<i>Overhearing.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I say,</p>
+<p>Be’t as it might, the son should have remain’d.</p>
+<p>Grant that the father bore too strict a hand</p>
+<p>Upon his loose desires; he should have borne it.</p>
+<p>Whom would he bear withal, if not a parent?</p>
+<p>Was’t fitting that the father should conform</p>
+<p>To the son’s humor, or the son to his?</p>
+<p>And for the rigor that he murmurs at,</p>
+<p>’Tis nothing: the severities of fathers,</p>
+<p>Unless perchance a hard one here and there,</p>
+<p>Are much the same: they reprimand their sons</p>
+<p>For riotous excesses, wenching, drinking;</p>
+<p>And starve their pleasures by a scant allowance.</p>
+<p>Yet this all tends to good: but when the mind</p>
+<p>Is once enslav’d to vicious appetites,</p>
+<p>It needs must follow vicious measures too.</p>
+<p>Remember then this maxim, Clitipho,</p>
+<p>A wise one ’tis to draw from others’ faults</p>
+<p>A profitable lesson for yourself.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> I do believe it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Well, I’ll in, and see</p>
+<p>What is provided for our supper: you,</p>
+<p>As the day wears, see that you’re not far hence.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">245</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_I_IV" id = "torm_I_IV">
+SCENE IV.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Clitipho</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>What partial judges of all sons are fathers!</p>
+<p>Who ask gray wisdom from our greener years,</p>
+<p>And think our minds should bear no touch of youth;</p>
+<p>Governing by their passions, now kill’d in them,</p>
+<p>And not by those that formerly rebell’d.</p>
+<p>If ever I’ve a son, I promise him</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">458</span>
+<p>He shall find me an easy father; fit</p>
+<p>To know, and apt to pardon his offenses!</p>
+<p>Not such as mine, who, speaking of another,</p>
+<p>Shows how he’d act in such a case himself:</p>
+<p>Yet when he takes a cup or two too much,</p>
+<p>Oh, what mad pranks he tells me of his own:</p>
+<p>But warns me now “to draw from others’ faults</p>
+<p>A profitable lesson for myself.”</p>
+<p>Cunning old gentleman! he little knows,</p>
+<p>He pours his proverbs in a deaf man’s ear.</p>
+<p>The words of Bacchis, <i>Give me, Bring me</i>, now</p>
+<p>Have greater weight with me: to whose commands,</p>
+<p>Alas! I’ve nothing to reply withal;</p>
+<p>Nor is there man more wretched than myself.</p>
+<p>For Clinia here (though he, I must confess,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">246</span>
+<p>Has cares enough) has got a mistress, modest,</p>
+<p>Well-bred, and stranger to all harlot arts:</p>
+<p>Mine is a self-will’d, wanton, haughty madam,</p>
+<p>Gay, and extravagant; and let her ask</p>
+<p>Whate’er she will, she must not be denied;</p>
+<p>Since poverty I durst not make my plea.</p>
+<p>This is a plague I have but newly found,</p>
+<p>Nor is my father yet appris’d of it.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">247</span>
+<h4 class = "act"><a name = "torm_II" id = "torm_II">
+ACT THE SECOND.</a></h4>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_II_I" id = "torm_II_I">
+SCENE I.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Clinia</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> Had my affairs in love been
+prosperous,</p>
+<p>They had, I know, been here long since: but, ah,</p>
+<p>I fear she’s fall’n from virtue in my absence:</p>
+<p>So many things concur to prove it so,</p>
+<p>My mind misgives me; opportunity,</p>
+<p>The place, her age, an infamous old mother,</p>
+<p>Under whose governance she lives, to whom</p>
+<p>’Naught but gain’s precious.</p>
+
+<p class = "stagedir">
+To him <span class = "charname">Clitipho</span>.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Clinia!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> Woe is me! (<i>To
+himself.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Take heed, lest some one issue
+from your father’s,</p>
+<p>And chance to see you here.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> I will: but yet</p>
+<p>My mind forebodes I know not what of ill.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">248</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> What, still foreboding, ere you
+know the truth?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> Had there been no untoward
+circumstance,</p>
+<p>They had return’d already</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">459</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Patience, Clinia!</p>
+<p>They’ll be here presently.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> Presently! but when?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Consider, ’tis a long way off: and
+then</p>
+<p>You know the ways of women; to set off,</p>
+<p>And trick their persons out, requires an age.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> Oh Clitipho, I
+fear&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Take courage; see,</p>
+<p>Dromo and Syrus!</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_II_II" id = "torm_II_II">
+SCENE II.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Syrus</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Dromo</span>, conversing at a distance.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Say you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dromo.</span> Even so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> But while we chat, the girls are
+left behind.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> (<i>listening.</i>) Girls, Clinia!
+do you hear?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> I hear, I see,</p>
+<p>And now, at last, I’m happy, Clitipho.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dromo</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Syrus</span></i>). Left behind! troth, no wonder: so
+encumber’d;</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">249</span>
+<p>A troop of waiting-women at her heels!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> (<i>listening</i>). Confusion!
+Whence should she have waiting-women?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> How can I tell?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Dromo</span></i>). We ought not to have dropp’d them.</p>
+<p>They bring a world of baggage!</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> (<i>listening</i>). Death!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Gold, clothes!</p>
+<p>It grows late too, and they may miss their way.</p>
+<p>We’ve been to blame: Dromo, run back, and meet them.</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>Away! quick, quick! don’t loiter.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>Away! quick! don’t loiter.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Dromo</span>.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> What a wretch!</p>
+<p>All my fair hopes quite blasted!</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div split -->
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> What’s the matter?</p>
+<p>What is it troubles you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> What troubles me?</p>
+<p>D’ye hear? She waiting-women, gold, and clothes!</p>
+<p>She, whom I left with one poor servant-girl!</p>
+<p>Whence come they, think you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Oh, I take you now.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus</span> (<i>to himself</i>). Gods, what a
+crowd! our house will hardly hold them.</p>
+<p>What eating, and what drinking will there be!</p>
+<p>How miserable our old gentleman!</p>
+<p>But here are those I wish’d to see!</p>
+
+<p class = "stagedir">
+Seeing <span class = "charname">Clit.</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Clin</span>.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">250</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> Oh Jove!</p>
+<p>Where then are truth, and faith, and honor fled?</p>
+<p>While I a fugitive, for love of you,</p>
+<p>Quit my dear country, you, Antiphila,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">460</span>
+<p>For sordid gain desert me in distress!</p>
+<p>You, for whose sake I courted infamy,</p>
+<p>And cast off my obedience to my father.</p>
+<p>He, I remember now with grief and shame,</p>
+<p>Oft warn’d me of these women’s ways; oft tried</p>
+<p>In vain by sage advice to wean me from her.</p>
+<p>But now I bid farewell to her forever;</p>
+<p>Though, when ’twere good and wholesome, I was froward.</p>
+<p>No wretch more curs’d than I!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> He has misconstrued</p>
+<p>All our discourse, I find&mdash;You fancy, Clinia,</p>
+<p>Your mistress other than she is. Her life,</p>
+<p>As far as we from circumstance could learn,</p>
+<p>Her disposition tow’rd you, are the same.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> How! tell me all: for there is
+naught on earth</p>
+<p>I’d rather know than that my fears are false.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> First then, that you may be
+appris’d of all,</p>
+<p>Th’ old woman, thought her mother, was not so:</p>
+<p>That beldam also is deceas’d; for this</p>
+<p>I overheard her, as we came along,</p>
+<p>Telling the other.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Other! who? what other?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">251</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Let me but finish what I have
+begun,</p>
+<p>And I shall come to that.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Dispatch then.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> First,</p>
+<p>Having arriv’d, Dromo knocks at the door:</p>
+<p>Which an old woman had no sooner open’d,</p>
+<p>But in goes Dromo, and I after him.</p>
+<p>Th’ old woman bolts the door, and spins again,</p>
+<p>And now, or never, Clinia, might be known,</p>
+<p>Coming thus unexpectedly upon her,</p>
+<p>Antiphila’s employments in your absence:</p>
+<p>For such, as then we saw, we might presume</p>
+<p>Her daily practice, which of all things else,</p>
+<p>Betrays the mind and disposition most.</p>
+<p>Busily plying of the web we found her,</p>
+<p>Decently clad in mourning,&mdash;I suppose,</p>
+<p>For the deceas’d old woman.&mdash;She had on</p>
+<p>No gold or trinkets, but was plain and neat,</p>
+<p>And dress’d like those who dress but for themselves.</p>
+<p>No female varnish to set off her beauty:</p>
+<p>Her hair dishevel’d, long, and flowing loose</p>
+<p>About her shoulders.&mdash;Peace! (<i>To <span class =
+"charname">Clinia</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> Nay, prithee, Syrus,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">252</span>
+<p>Do not transport me thus without a cause.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Th’ old woman spun the woof; one
+servant-girl,</p>
+<p>A tatter’d dirty dowdy, weaving by her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Clinia, if this be true, as sure
+it is,</p>
+<p>Who is more fortunate than you? D’ye mark</p>
+<p>The ragged dirty girl that he describ’d?</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">461</span>
+<p>A sign the mistress leads a blameless life,</p>
+<p>When she maintains no flaunting go-between:</p>
+<p>For ’tis a rule with those gallants, who wish</p>
+<p>To win the mistress, first to bribe the maid.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> Go on, I beg you, Syrus; and take
+heed</p>
+<p>You fill me not with idle joy.&mdash;What said she</p>
+<p>When you nam’d me?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> As soon as we inform’d her</p>
+<p>You was return’d, and begg’d her to come to you,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">253</span>
+<p>She left her work immediately, and burst</p>
+<p>Into a flood of tears, which one might see</p>
+<p>Were shed for love of you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> By all the Gods,</p>
+<p>I know not where I am for very joy.</p>
+<p>Oh, how I trembled!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Without cause, I knew.</p>
+<p>But come; now, Syrus, tell us, who’s that other?</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Your mistress, Bacchis.</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> How! what! Bacchis?
+<p>Where d’ye propose to carry her, rogue?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Where?</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> How! what! Bacchis? Tell me,</p>
+<p>Where d’ye bring her, rogue?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Where do I bring her?</p>
+<p>To our house certainly.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> My father’s?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Aye.</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div split -->
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Oh monstrous impudence!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Consider, Sir;</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">254</span>
+<p>More danger, the more honor.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Look ye, Sirrah,</p>
+<p>You mean to purchase praise at my expense,</p>
+<p>Where the least slip of yours would ruin me.</p>
+<p>What is’t you drive at?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> But&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> But what?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> I’ll tell you,</p>
+<p>Give me but leave!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> Permit him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Well, I do.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> This business&mdash;now&mdash;is
+just as if&mdash; (<i>Drawling.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Confusion!</p>
+<p>What a long roundabout beginning!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> True.</p>
+<p>To the point, Syrus!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> I’ve no patience with you.</p>
+<p>You use me ill, Sir, and I can’t endure it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> Hear him: peace, Clitipho! (<i>To
+<span class = "charname">Clitipho</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> You’d be in love;</p>
+<p>Possess your mistress; and have wherewithal</p>
+<p>To make her presents: but to gain all this</p>
+<p>You’d risk no danger. By my troth, you’re wise,</p>
+<p>If it be wise to wish for what can’t be.</p>
+<p>Take good and bad together; both, or none;</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">462</span>
+<p>Choose which you will; no mistress, or no danger.</p>
+<p>And yet, the scheme I’ve laid is fair and safe;</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">255</span>
+<p>Your mistress may be with you at your father’s</p>
+<p>Without detection; by the self-same means</p>
+<p>I shall procure the sum you’ve promis’d her,</p>
+<p>Which you have rung so often in my ears,</p>
+<p>You’ve almost deafen’d them.&mdash;What would you more?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> If it may be so&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> If! the proof shall show.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Well, well then, what’s this
+scheme?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> We will pretend</p>
+<p>That Bacchis is his mistress.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Mighty fine!</p>
+<p>What shall become then of his own? Shall she</p>
+<p>Pass for his too, because one’s not enough</p>
+<p>To answer for?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> No. She shall to your mother.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> How so?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> ’Twere tedious, Clitipho, to
+tell:</p>
+<p>Let it suffice, I’ve reason for it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Nonsense!</p>
+<p>I see no ground to make me hazard this.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Well; if you dread this, I’ve
+another way,</p>
+<p>Which you shall both own has no danger in’t.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Aye, prithee, find that out.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> With all my heart.</p>
+<p>I’ll run and meet the woman on the road,</p>
+<p>And order them to go straight home again.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> How! what!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">256</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> I mean to ease you of your
+fear,</p>
+<p>That you may sleep in peace on either side. (<i>Going.</i>)</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">257</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> What shall I do?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> E’en profit of his scheme.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">258</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> But, Syrus, tell me
+then&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Away, away!</p>
+<p>This day too late you’ll wish for her in vain. (<i>Going.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> This is your time: enjoy it, while
+you may:</p>
+<p>Who knows if you may have the like again?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Syrus, I say.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Call as you please, I’ll on.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Clinia, you’re right.&mdash;Ho,
+Syrus! Syrus, ho!</p>
+<p>Syrus, I say.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> So, he grows hot at last. (<i>To
+himself.</i>)</p>
+<p>What would you, Sir? (<i>Turning about.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Come back, come back!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> I’m here. (<i>Returns.</i>)</p>
+<p>You’re pleasure, Sir!&mdash;What, will not this content you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Yes, Syrus; me, my passion, and my
+fame</p>
+<p>I render up to you: dispose of all;</p>
+<p>But see you’re not to blame.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Ridiculous!</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">463</span>
+<p>Spare your advice, good Clitipho! you know</p>
+<p>Success is my concern still more than yours:</p>
+<p>For if perchance we fail in our attempt,</p>
+<p>You shall have words; but I, alas! dry blows.</p>
+<p>Be sure then of my diligence; and beg</p>
+<p>Your friend to join, and countenance our scheme.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> Depend on me: I see it must be
+so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Thanks, my best Clinia!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> But take heed she trip not.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">259</span>
+<p class = "second first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Oh, she is well instructed.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Oh, she’s well instructed.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Still I wonder</p>
+<p>How you prevail’d so easily upon her:</p>
+<p>Her, who’s so scornful.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> I came just in time,</p>
+<p>Time, that in most affairs is all in all:</p>
+<p>For there I found a certain wretched captain,</p>
+<p>Begging her favors. She, an artful baggage,</p>
+<p>Denied him, to inflame his mind the more,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">260</span>
+<p>And make her court to you.&mdash;But hark ye, Sir,</p>
+<p>Be cautious of your conduct! no imprudence!</p>
+<p>You know how shrewd and keen your father is;</p>
+<p>And I know your intemperance too well.</p>
+<p>No double-meanings, glances, leers, sighs, hems,</p>
+<p>Coughing, or titt’ring, I beseech you, Sir!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> I’ll play my
+part&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Look to’t!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> To your content.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> But see, the women! they’re soon
+after us. (<i>Looking out.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Where are they?&mdash; (<i><span
+class = "charname">Syrus</span> stops him.</i>) Why d’ye hold me?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> She is not</p>
+<p>Your mistress now.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> True: not before my father.</p>
+<p>But now, meanwhile&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Nor now, meanwhile,</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Allow me!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> No.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> But a moment!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> No.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> A single kiss!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Away, if you are wise!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Well, well, I’m gone.</p>
+<p>&mdash;What’s he to do?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Stay here.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">261</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> O happy&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> March! (<i>Pushes off <span class
+= "charname">Clitipho</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene -->
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">464</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_II_III" id = "torm_II_III">
+SCENE III</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Bacchis</span>, and <span class =
+"charname">Antiphila</span> at a distance.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> Well, I commend you, my
+Antiphila:</p>
+<p>Happy, that you have made it still your care,</p>
+<p>That virtue should seem fair as beauty in you!</p>
+<p>Nor Gracious Heav’n so help me, do I wonder</p>
+<p>If ev’ry man should wish you for his own;</p>
+<p>For your discourse bespeaks a worthy mind.</p>
+<p>And when I ponder with myself, and weigh</p>
+<p>Your course of life, and all the rest of those</p>
+<p>Who live not on the common, ’tis not strange,</p>
+<p>Your morals should be different from ours.</p>
+<p>Virtue’s your int’rest; those, with whom we deal,</p>
+<p>Forbid it to be ours: For our gallants,</p>
+<p>Charm’d by our beauty, court us but for that;</p>
+<p>Which fading, they transfer their love to others.</p>
+<p>If then meanwhile we look not to ourselves,</p>
+<p>We live forlorn, deserted, and distress’d.</p>
+<p>You, when you’ve once agreed to pass your life</p>
+<p>Bound to one man, whose temper suits with yours,</p>
+<p>He too attaches his whole heart to you:</p>
+<p>Thus mutual friendship draws you each to each;</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">262</span>
+<p>Nothing can part you, nothing shake your love.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Anti.</span> I know not others’; for myself I
+know,</p>
+<p>From his content I ever drew my own.</p>
+
+<table class = "bracket" summary = "bracketed text">
+<tr>
+<td>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> (<i>overhearing</i>). Excellent
+maid! my best Antiphila!</p>
+<p>Thou too, thy love alone is now the cause</p>
+<p>That brings me to my native land again.</p>
+<p>For when away, all evils else were light</p>
+<p>Compar’d to wanting thee.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> I do believe it.</p>
+
+</td>
+<td class = "bracket tall">
+&nbsp;
+</td>
+<td class = "bracket tall" rowspan = "2">
+(<i>Apart.</i>)
+</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> O Syrus, ’tis too much: I can not
+bear it.</p>
+<p>Wretch that I am!&mdash;and must I be debarr’d</p>
+<p>To give a loose to love, a love like this?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> And yet if I may judge your
+father’s mind,</p>
+<p>He has more troubles yet in store for you.</p>
+</td>
+<td class = "bracket tall">
+&nbsp;
+</td>
+</tr>
+</table>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> Who is that youth that eyes us?
+(<i>Seeing <span class = "charname">Clinia</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Anti.</span> Ha! (<i>seeing
+him.</i>)&mdash;Support me!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">263</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> Bless me, what now?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Anti.</span> I faint.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> Alas, poor soul!</p>
+<p>What is’t surprises you, Antiphila?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Anti.</span> Is’t Clinia that I see, or no?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> Whom do you see?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> Welcome my soul! (<i>Running up to
+her.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Anti.</span> My wish’d-for Clinia, welcome!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> How fares my love?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Anti.</span> O’erjoyed at your return.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">465</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> And do I hold thee, my
+Antiphila,</p>
+<p>Thou only wish and comfort of my soul!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> In, in, for you have made our
+good man wait.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exeunt.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">264</span>
+<h4 class = "act"><a name = "torm_III" id = "torm_III">
+ACT THE THIRD.</a></h4>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_III_I" id = "torm_III_I">
+SCENE I.</a></h5>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> ’Tis now just daybreak.&mdash;Why
+delay I then</p>
+<p>To call my neighbor forth, and be the first</p>
+<p>To tell him of his son’s return?&mdash;The youth,</p>
+<p>I understand, would fain not have it so.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">265</span>
+<p>But shall I, when I see this poor old man</p>
+<p>Afflict himself so grievously, by silence</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">266</span>
+<p>Rob him of such an unexpected joy,</p>
+<p>When the discov’ry can not hurt the son?</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">267</span>
+<p>No, I’ll not do’t; but far as in my pow’r</p>
+<p>Assist the father. As my son, I see,</p>
+<p>Ministers to th’ occasions of his friend,</p>
+<p>Associated in counsels, rank, and age,</p>
+<p>So we old men should serve each other too.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_III_II" id = "torm_III_II">
+SCENE II.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Menedemus</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> (<i>to himself</i>). Sure I’m by
+nature form’d for misery</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">268</span>
+<p>Beyond the rest of humankind, or else</p>
+<p>’Tis a false saying, though a common one,</p>
+<p>“That time assuages grief.” For ev’ry day</p>
+<p>My sorrow for the absence of my son</p>
+<p>Grows on my mind: the longer he’s away,</p>
+<p>The more impatiently I wish to see him,</p>
+<p>The more pine after him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> But he’s come forth. (<i>Seeing
+<span class = "charname">Menedemus</span>.</i>)</p>
+<p>Yonder he stands. I’ll go and speak with him.</p>
+<p>Good-morrow, neighbor! I have news for you;</p>
+<p>Such news as you’ll be overjoy’d to hear.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Of my son, Chremes?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> He’s alive and well.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Where?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> At my house.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> My son?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Your son.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Come home?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Come home.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> My dear boy come? my Clinia?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> He.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">466</span>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">269</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Away then! prithee, bring me to
+him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Hold!</p>
+<p>He cares not you should know of his return,</p>
+<p>And dreads your sight because of his late trespass.</p>
+<p>He fears, besides, your old severity</p>
+<p>Is now augmented.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Did not you inform him</p>
+<p>The bent of my affections?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Not I.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Wherefore, Chremes?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Because ’twould injure both
+yourself and him</p>
+<p>To seem of such a poor and broken spirit.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> I can not help it. Too long, much
+too long,</p>
+<p>I’ve been a cruel father.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Ah, my friend,</p>
+<p>You run into extremes; too niggardly,</p>
+<p>Or, too profuse; imprudent either way.</p>
+<p>First, rather than permit him entertain</p>
+<p>A mistress, who was then content with little,</p>
+<p>And glad of any thing, you drove him hence:</p>
+<p>Whereon the girl was forc’d against her will,</p>
+<p>To grow a common gamester for her bread:</p>
+<p>And now she can’t be kept without much cost,</p>
+<p>You’d squander thousands. For to let you know</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">270</span>
+<p>How admirably madam’s train’d to mischief,</p>
+<p>How finely form’d to ruin her admirers,</p>
+<p>She came to my house yesternight with more</p>
+<p>Than half a score of women at her tail,</p>
+<p>Laden with clothes and jewels.&mdash;If she had</p>
+<p>A Prince to her gallant, he could not bear</p>
+<p>Such wild extravagance: much less can you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Is she within too?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> She within! Aye, truly.</p>
+<p>I’ve found it to my cost: for I have given</p>
+<p>To her and her companions but one supper;</p>
+<p>And to give such another would undo me.</p>
+<p>For, not to dwell on other circumstances,</p>
+<p>Merely to taste, and smack, and spirt about.</p>
+<p>What quantities of wine has she consum’d!</p>
+<p><i>This is too rough</i>, she cries; <i>some softer, pray!</i></p>
+<p>I have pierc’d every vessel, ev’ry cask;</p>
+<p>Kept ev’ry servant running to and fro:</p>
+<p>All this ado, and all in one short night!</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">271</span>
+<p>What, Menedemus, must become of you,</p>
+<p>Whom they will prey upon continually?</p>
+<p>Now, afore Heaven, thinking upon this,</p>
+<p>I pitied you.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Why let him have his will;</p>
+<p>Waste, consume, squander; I’ll endure it all,</p>
+
+<p class = "second">
+So I but keep him with me.</p>
+
+<p>So I but have him with me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> If resolv’d</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">467</span>
+<p>To take that course, I hold it of great moment</p>
+<p>That he perceive not you allow of this.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> What shall I do then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Any thing much rather</p>
+<p>Than what you mean to do: at second-hand</p>
+<p>Supply him; or permit his slave to trick you;</p>
+<p>Though I perceive they’re on that scent already,</p>
+<p>And privately contriving how to do’t.</p>
+<p>There’s Syrus, and that little slave of yours</p>
+<p>In an eternal whisper: the young men</p>
+<p>Consulting too together: and it were</p>
+<p>Better to lose a talent by these means,</p>
+<p>Than on your plan a mina: for at present</p>
+<p>Money is not the question, but the means</p>
+<p>To gratify the youth the safest way.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">272</span>
+<p>For if he once perceives your turn of mind,</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>That you had rather throw away your life,</p>
+<p>And waste your whole estate, than part with him,</p>
+<p>Ah, what a window to debauchery</p>
+<p>You’ll open, Menedemus! Such a one,</p>
+<p>As will embitter even life itself;</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>And that you’d rather hazard life, and wealth,</p>
+<p>Than part from him; ah, Menedemus, what</p>
+<p>A window to debauchery you’ll open!</p>
+<p>Nay, life itself will grow a burden to you;</p>
+<p>For too much liberty corrupts us all.</p>
+<p>Whatever comes into his head, he’ll have;</p>
+<p>Nor think if his demand be right or wrong.</p>
+<p>You, on your part, to see your wealth and son</p>
+<p>Both wreck’d, will not be able to endure.</p>
+<p>You’ll not comply with his demands; whereon</p>
+<p>He falls to his old fence immediately,</p>
+<p>And knowing where your weak part lies, will threaten</p>
+<p>To leave you instantly.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> ’Tis very like.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Now on my life I have not clos’d
+my eyes,</p>
+<p>Nor had a single wink of sleep this night,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">273</span>
+<p>For thinking how I might restore your son.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Give me your hand: and let me beg
+you, Chremes,</p>
+<p>Continue to assist me!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Willingly.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> D’ye know what I would have you do
+at present?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Since you have found out they
+meditate</p>
+<p>Some practice on me, prithee, urge them on</p>
+<p>To execute it quickly: for I long</p>
+<p>To grant his wishes, long to see him straight.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Let me alone. I must lay hold of
+Syrus,</p>
+<p>And give him some encouragement.&mdash;But see!</p>
+<p>Some one, I know not who, comes forth: In, in,</p>
+<p>Lest they perceive that we consult together!</p>
+<p>I have a little business too in hand.</p>
+<p>Simus and Crito, our two neighbors here,</p>
+<p>Have a dispute about their boundaries;</p>
+<p>And they’ve referr’d it to my arbitration,</p>
+<p>I’ll go and tell them, ’tis not in my power</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">468</span>
+<p>To wait on them, as I propos’d to-day.</p>
+<p>I will be with you presently.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">274</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Pray do.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Chremes</span>.</p>
+<p>Gods! that the nature of mankind is such,</p>
+<p>To see and judge of the affairs of others</p>
+<p>Much better than their own! Is’t therefore so,</p>
+<p>Because that, in our own concerns, we feel</p>
+
+<p class = "second">
+The influence of joy or grief too nearly?</p>
+
+<p>Too much the influence of joy or sorrow?</p>
+<p>How much more wisely does my neighbor here,</p>
+<p>Consult for me, than I do for myself!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> (<i>returning.</i>) I’ve
+disengag’d myself! that I might be</p>
+<p>At leisure to attend on your affairs.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Menedemus</span>.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_III_III" id = "torm_III_III">
+SCENE III.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Syrus</span> at another part of the
+stage.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene split">
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>
+<span class = "charname">Syrus</span> One way, or other, money must be
+had,</p>
+<p>And the old gentleman impos’d upon.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus</span> (<i>to himself.</i>) This way, or
+that way, or some way or other!</p>
+<p>For money must be had, and th’ old man trick’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> (<i>overbearing.</i>) Was I
+deceiv’d in thinking they were at it?</p>
+<p>That slave of Clinia’s, it should seem, is dull,</p>
+<p>And so our Syrus has the part assign’d him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Who’s there (<i>seeing <span
+class = "charname">Chremes</span></i>). Undone if he has overheard me.
+(<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">275</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Syrus.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Sir!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What now?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Nothing.&mdash;But I wonder</p>
+<p>To see you up so early in the morning,</p>
+<p>Who drank so freely yesterday.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Not much.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Not much? You have, Sir, as the
+proverb goes,</p>
+<p>The old age of an eagle.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Ah!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> A pleasant,</p>
+<p>Good sort of girl, this wench of Clinia’s.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Aye, so she seems.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> And handsome.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Well enough.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Not like the maids of old, but
+passable,</p>
+<p>As girls go now: nor am I much amaz’d</p>
+<p>That Clinia dotes upon her. But he has,</p>
+<p>Alas, poor lad! a miserable, close,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">276</span>
+<p>Dry, covetous, curmudgeon to his father:</p>
+<p>Our neighbor here; d’ye know him?&mdash;Yet, as if</p>
+<p>He did not roll in riches, his poor son</p>
+<p>Was forc’d to run away for very want.</p>
+<p>D’ye know this story?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Do I know it? Aye.</p>
+<p>A scoundrel! should be horse-whipp’d.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">469</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Who?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> That slave</p>
+<p>Of Clinia’s&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Troth, I trembled for you, Syrus!
+(<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Who suffer’d this.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Why what should he have done?</p>
+
+<p class = "second first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What?&mdash;have devis’d some
+scheme, some ways and means</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What?&mdash;have devis’d
+expedients, contriv’d schemes,</p>
+<p>To raise the cash for the young gentleman</p>
+<p>To make his mistress presents; and have done</p>
+<p>A kindness to th’ old hunks against his will.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> You jest.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Not I: it was his duty,
+Syrus.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> How’s this? why prithee then,
+d’ye praise those slaves,</p>
+<p>Who trick their masters?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Yes upon occasion.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Mighty fine, truly!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Why, it oft prevents</p>
+<p>A great deal of uneasiness: for instance,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">277</span>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>My neighbour Menedemus, well deceiv’d,</p>
+<p>Would ne’er have seen his son abandon him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> I don’t know whether he’s in jest
+or earnest,</p>
+<p>But it gives me encouragement to trick him.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>This Clinia, Menedemus’ only son,</p>
+<p>Would never have elop’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> I can not tell</p>
+<p>Whether he says all this in jest or earnest;</p>
+<p>But it gives fresh encouragement to me. (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> And now what is’t the blockhead
+waits for, Syrus?</p>
+<p>Is’t till his master runs away again,</p>
+<p>When he perceives himself no longer able</p>
+<p>To bear with the expenses of his mistress?</p>
+<p>Has he no plot upon th’ old gentleman?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> He’s a poor creature.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> But it is your part,</p>
+<p>For Clinia’s sake, to lend a helping hand.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Why, that indeed I easily can
+do,</p>
+<p>If you command me; for I know which way.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I take you at your word.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> I’ll make it good.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Do so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> But hark ye, Sir! remember
+this,</p>
+<p>If ever it hereafter comes to pass,</p>
+<p>&mdash;As who can answer for th’ affairs of men!</p>
+<p>That your own son&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I hope ’twill never be.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> I hope so too; nor do I mention
+this</p>
+<p>From any knowledge or suspicion of him:</p>
+<p>But that in case&mdash;his time of life, you know;</p>
+<p>And should there be occasion, trust me, Chremes,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">278</span>
+<p>But I could handle you most handsomely.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Well, well, we’ll think of it,
+when that time comes.</p>
+<p><ins class = "correction second" title =
+"letter ‘N’ invisible in Harper edition">Now</ins> to your present task!</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Chremes</span>.</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene split -->
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">470</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_III_IV" id = "torm_III_IV">
+SCENE IV.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>I never heard</p>
+<p>My master argue more commodiously;</p>
+
+<p class = "second">
+Nor ever was inclin’d to mischief, when</p>
+
+<p>Nor ever had a mind to mischief, when</p>
+<p>It might be done with more impunity.</p>
+<p>But who’s this coming from our house?</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_III_V" id = "torm_III_V">
+SCENE V.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Clitipho</span>, and <span class =
+"charname">Chremes</span> following.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> How now?</p>
+<p>What manners are these, Clitipho? does this</p>
+<p>Become you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> What’s the matter?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Did not I</p>
+<p>This very instant see you put your hand</p>
+<p>Into yon wench’s bosom?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> So! all’s over:</p>
+<p>I am undone. (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">279</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Me, Sir?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> These very eyes</p>
+<p>Beheld you: don’t deny it.&mdash;’Tis base in you</p>
+<p>To be so flippant with your hands. For what</p>
+<p>Affront’s more gross than to receive a friend</p>
+<p>Under your roof, and tamper with his mistress?</p>
+<p>And, last night in your cups too, how indecent</p>
+<p>And rudely you behav’d!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> ’Tis very true.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> So very troublesome, so help me
+Heav’n,</p>
+<p>I fear’d the consequence. I know the ways</p>
+<p>Of lovers: they oft take offense at things</p>
+<p>You dream not of.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> But my companion, Sir,</p>
+<p>Is confident I would not wrong him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Granted.</p>
+<p>Yet you should cease to hang forever on them.</p>
+<p>Withdraw, and leave them sometimes to themselves.</p>
+<p>Love has a thousand sallies; you restrain them.</p>
+<p>I can conjecture from myself. There’s none,</p>
+<p>How near soever, Clitipho, to whom</p>
+<p>I dare lay open all my weaknesses.</p>
+<p>With one my pride forbids it, with another</p>
+<p>The very action shames me: and believe me,</p>
+<p>It is the same with him; and ’tis our place</p>
+<p>To mark on what occasions to indulge him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> What says he now?
+(<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">471</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Confusion!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">280</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Clitipho,</p>
+<p>These are the very precepts that I gave you:</p>
+<p>And how discreet and temperate you’ve been!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Prithee, peace!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Aye, I warrant you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Oh, Syrus,</p>
+<p>I’m quite asham’d of him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> I do not doubt it.</p>
+<p>Nor without reason; for it troubles me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Still, rascal<ins class =
+"correction harper" title =
+"1768 edition has question mark">!&nbsp;</ins></p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Nay, I do but speak the
+truth.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> May I not then go near them?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Prithee, then,</p>
+<p>Is there <i>one</i> way alone of going near them?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Confusion! he’ll betray himself
+before</p>
+<p>I get the money. (<i>Aside.</i>)&mdash;Chremes, will you once</p>
+<p>Hear a fool’s counsel?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What do you advise?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Order your son about his
+business.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Whither?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Whither! where’er you please.
+Give place to them.</p>
+<p>Go take a walk.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Walk! where?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> A pretty question!</p>
+<p>This, that, or any way.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> He says right. Go!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">281</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Now, plague upon you, Syrus!
+(<i>Going.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Clitipho</span>, going</i>). Henceforth, learn</p>
+<p>To keep those hands of yours at rest.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Clitipho</span>.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_III_VI" id = "torm_III_VI">
+SCENE VI.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<ins class = "correction second" title = "missing in Harper edition">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Syrus</span>.</ins></p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>D’ye mind?</p>
+<p>What think you, Chremes, will become of him,</p>
+<p>Unless you do your utmost to preserve,</p>
+<p>Correct, and counsel him?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I’ll take due care.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> But now’s your time, Sir, to look
+after him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> It shall be done.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> It must be, if you’re wise:</p>
+<p>For ev’ry day he minds me less and less.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> But, Syrus, say, what progress
+have you made</p>
+<p>In that affair I just now mention’d to you?</p>
+<p>Have you struck out a scheme that pleases you?</p>
+<p>Or are you still to seek?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> The plot, you mean,</p>
+<p>On Menedemus. I’ve just hit on one.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Good fellow! prithee now, what
+is’t?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> I’ll tell you.</p>
+<p>But as one thing brings in another&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">472</span>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">282</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Well?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> This Bacchis is a sad jade.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> So it seems.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Aye, Sir, if you knew all; nay,
+even now</p>
+<p>She’s hatching mischief.&mdash;Dwelling hereabouts,</p>
+<p>There was of late an old Corinthian woman,</p>
+<p>To whom this Bacchis lent a thousand pieces.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> The woman’s dead; and left
+behind</p>
+<p>A daughter, very young, whom she bequeath’d,</p>
+<p>By way of pledge, to Bacchis for the money.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I understand.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> This girl came here with
+Bacchis,</p>
+<p>And now is with your wife.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> She begs</p>
+<p>Of Clinia to advance the cash; for which</p>
+<p>She’ll give the girl as an equivalent.</p>
+<p>She wants the thousand pieces.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Does she so?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> No doubt on’t.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> So I thought.&mdash;And what do
+you</p>
+<p>Intend to do?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">283</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Who? I, Sir? I’ll away</p>
+<p>To Menedemus presently; and tell him</p>
+<p>This maiden is a rich and noble captive,</p>
+<p>Stolen from Caria; and to ransom her</p>
+<p>Will greatly profit him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> ’Twill never do.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> How so?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I answer now for Menedemus.</p>
+<p><i>I will not purchase her.</i> What say you now?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Give a more favorable answer!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> No,</p>
+<p>There’s no occasion.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">284</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> No occasion?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> No.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> I can not comprehend you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I’ll explain.</p>
+<p>&mdash;But hold! what now? whence comes it that our door</p>
+<p>Opens so hastily?</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_III_VII" id = "torm_III_VII">
+SCENE VII.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter at a distance <span class = "charname">Sostrata</span> with a
+ring, and the <span class = "charname">Nurse</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Or I’m deceiv’d,</p>
+<p>Or this is certainly the very ring;</p>
+<p>The ring with which my daughter was expos’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Syrus</span>, behind</i>). What can those words mean,
+Syrus?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">473</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Tell me, Nurse!</p>
+<p>Does it appear to you to be the same?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Nurse.</span> Aye, marry: and the very moment
+that</p>
+<p>You show’d it me, I said it was the same.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> But have you thoroughly
+examin’d, Nurse?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Nurse.</span> Aye, thoroughly.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">285</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> In then, and let me know</p>
+<p>If she has yet done bathing; and meanwhile</p>
+<p>I’ll wait my husband here.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Nurse</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> She wants you, Sir!</p>
+<p>Enquire, what she would have. She’s very grave.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> She wants you, Sir! inquire</p>
+<p>What she would have. She’s grave, I know not why.</p>
+<p>’Tis not for nothing; and I fear the cause.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> The cause? pshaw! nothing. She’ll
+take mighty pains</p>
+<p>To be deliver’d of some mighty trifle.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> (<i>seeing them</i>). Oh
+husband!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Oh wife!</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> I was looking for you,</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Your pleasure?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> First, I must entreat you
+then,</p>
+<p>Believe, I would not dare do any thing</p>
+<p>Against your order.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What! must I believe</p>
+<p>A thing past all belief?&mdash;I do believe it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> This exculpation bodes some
+fault, I’m sure. (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Do you remember, I was pregnant
+once,</p>
+<p>When you assur’d me with much earnestness,</p>
+<p>That if I were deliver’d of a girl,</p>
+<p>You would not have the child brought up?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I know</p>
+<p>What you have done. You have brought up the child.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">286</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Madam, if so, my master gains a
+loss.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> No, I have not: but there was at
+that time</p>
+<p>An old Corinthian woman dwelling here,</p>
+<p>To whom I gave the child to be expos’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> O Jupiter! was ever such a
+fool!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Ah, what have I committed?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What committed!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> If I’ve offended, Chremes, ’tis
+a crime</p>
+<p>Of ignorance, and nothing of my purpose.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Own it or not, I know it well
+enough,</p>
+<p>That ignorantly, and imprudently,</p>
+<p>You do and say all things; how many faults</p>
+<p>In this one action are you guilty of!</p>
+<p>For first, had you complied with my commands,</p>
+<p>The girl had been dispatch’d; and not her death</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">287</span>
+<p>Pretended, and hopes given of her life.</p>
+<p>But that I do not dwell upon: You’ll cry,</p>
+<p>“&mdash;Pity,&mdash;a mother’s fondness.”&mdash;I allow it.</p>
+<p>But then how rarely you provided for her!</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">474</span>
+<p>What could you mean? consider!&mdash;for ’tis plain,</p>
+<p>You have betray’d your child to that old beldam,</p>
+<p>Either for prostitution, or for sale.</p>
+<p>So she but liv’d, it was enough, you thought:</p>
+<p>No matter how, or what vile life she led.</p>
+<p>&mdash;What can one do, or how proceed, with those,</p>
+<p>Who know of neither reason, right, nor justice?</p>
+<p>Better or worse, for or against, they see</p>
+<p>Nothing but what they list.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> My dearest Chremes,</p>
+<p>I own I have offended: I’m convinc’d.</p>
+<p>But since you’re more experienc’d than myself,</p>
+<p>I pray you be the more indulgent too,</p>
+<p>And let my weakness shelter in your justice.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Well, well, I pardon you: but,
+Sostrata,</p>
+<p>Forgiving you thus easily, I do</p>
+<p>But teach you to offend again. But come,</p>
+<p>Say, wherefore you began this?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">288</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> As we women</p>
+<p>Are generally weak and superstitious,</p>
+<p>When first to this Corinthian old woman</p>
+<p>I gave the little infant, from my finger</p>
+<p>I drew a ring, and charg’d her to expose</p>
+<p>That with my daughter: that if chance she died,</p>
+<p>She might have part of our possessions with her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> ’Twas right: you thus preserv’d
+yourself and her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> This is that ring.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Where had it you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> The girl</p>
+<p>That Bacchis brought with her&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Ha! (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What says she?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">289</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Desir’d I’d keep it while she
+went to bathe.</p>
+<p>I took no notice on’t, at first; but I</p>
+<p>No sooner look’d on’t than I knew’t again,</p>
+<p>And straight ran out to you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> And what d’ye think,</p>
+<p>Or know concerning her?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> I can not tell,</p>
+<p>Till you inquire it of herself, and find,</p>
+<p>If possible, from whence she had the ring.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Undone! I see more hope than I
+desire.</p>
+<p>She’s ours, if this be so. (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Is she alive</p>
+<p>To whom you gave the child?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> I do not know.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What did she tell you
+formerly?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> That she</p>
+<p>Had done what I commanded her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Her name;</p>
+<p>That we may make inquiry.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">475</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Philtere.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">290</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> The very same! she’s found, and I
+am lost.</p>
+<p class = "stagedir">
+Aside.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> In with me, Sostrata!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Beyond my hopes.</p>
+<p>How much I fear’d you should continue still</p>
+<p>So rigidly inclin’d, as formerly,</p>
+<p>When you refus’d to educate her, Chremes!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Men can not always be as they
+desire,</p>
+<p>But must be govern’d by their fortunes still.</p>
+<p>The times are alter’d with me, and I wish</p>
+<p>To have a daughter now; then, nothing less.</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene -->
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">291</span>
+<h4 class = "act"><a name = "torm_IV" id = "torm_IV">
+ACT THE FOURTH.</a></h4>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_IV_I" id = "torm_IV_I">
+SCENE I.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus</span>, alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>My mind misgives me, my defeat is nigh,</p>
+<p>This unexpected incident has driven</p>
+<p>My forces into such a narrow pass,</p>
+<p>I can not even handsomely retreat</p>
+<p>Without some feint, to hinder our old man</p>
+<p>From seeing that this wench is Clitipho’s.</p>
+<p>As for the money, and the trick I dream’d of,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">292</span>
+<p>Those hopes are flown, and I shall hold it triumph,</p>
+<p>So I but ’scape a scouring&mdash;Cursed fortune,</p>
+<p>To have so delicate a morsel snatch’d</p>
+<p>Out of my very jaws!&mdash;What shall I do?</p>
+<p>What new device? for I must change my plan.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Nothing so difficult, but may be won</p>
+<p>By industry.&mdash;Suppose, I try it thus. (<i>Thinking.</i>)</p>
+<p>&mdash;’Twill never do.&mdash;Or thus?&mdash;No better still.</p>
+<p>But thus I think.&mdash;No, no.&mdash;Yes, excellent!</p>
+<p>Courage! I have it.&mdash;Good!&mdash;Good!&mdash;best of
+all!&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>&mdash;’Faith, I begin to hope to lay fast hold</p>
+<p>Of that same slipp’ry money after all.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_IV_II" id = "torm_IV_II">
+SCENE II.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Clinia</span> at another part of the
+stage.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> Henceforward, fate, do with me
+what thou wilt!</p>
+<p>Such is my joy, so full and absolute,</p>
+<p>I can not know vexation. From this hour</p>
+<p>To you, my father, I resign myself,</p>
+<p>Content to be more frugal than you wish!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus</span> (<i>overhearing</i>). ’Tis just as
+I suppos’d. The girl’s acknowledged;</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">476</span>
+<p>His raptures speak it so.&mdash; (<i>Going up.</i>) I’m overjoyed</p>
+<p>That things have happen’d to your wish.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> O Syrus!</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">293</span>
+<p>Have you then heard it too?</p>
+
+<p class = "second first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Undoubtedly.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> I heard it? Aye:</p>
+<p>I, who was present at the very time!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> Was ever any thing so lucky?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Nothing.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> Now, Heav’n so help me, I rejoice
+at this</p>
+<p>On her account much rather than my own,</p>
+<p>Her, whom I know worthy the highest honors.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> No doubt on’t.&mdash;But now,
+Clinia, hold a while!</p>
+<p>Give me a moment’s hearing in my turn.</p>
+<p>For your friend’s business must be thought of now,</p>
+<p>And well secur’d, lest our old gentleman</p>
+<p>Suspect about the wench.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> O Jupiter! (<i>In
+raptures.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Peace! (<i>Impatiently.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> My Antiphila shall be my wife.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> And will you interrupt me?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> Oh, my Syrus,</p>
+<p>What can I do! I’m overjoy’d. Bear with me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Troth so I do.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> We’re happy, as the Gods.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> I lose my labor on you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> Speak; I hear.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Aye, but you don’t attend.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> I’m all attention.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> I say then, Clinia, that your
+friend’s affairs</p>
+<p>Must be attended to, and well secur’d:</p>
+<p>For if you now depart abruptly from us,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">294</span>
+<p>And leave the wench upon our hands, my master</p>
+<p>Will instantly discover she belongs</p>
+<p>To Clitipho. But if you take her off,</p>
+<p>It will remain, as still it is, a secret.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> But, Syrus, this is flatly
+opposite</p>
+<p>To what I most devoutly wish, my marriage,</p>
+<p>For with what face shall I accost my father?</p>
+<p>D’ye understand me?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Aye.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> What can I say?</p>
+<p>What reason can I give him?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Tell no lie.</p>
+<p>Speak the plain truth.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> How?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Every syllable.</p>
+<p>Tell him your passion for Antiphila;</p>
+<p>Tell him you wish to marry her, and tell him,</p>
+<p>Bacchis belongs to Clitipho.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> ’Tis well,</p>
+<p>In reason, and may easily be done:</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">477</span>
+<p>And then besides you’d have me win my father,</p>
+<p>To keep it hid from your old gentleman.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> No; rather to prevail on him, to
+go</p>
+<p>And tell him the whole truth immediately.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> How? are you mad? or drunk? You’ll
+be the ruin</p>
+<p>Of Clitipho: for how can he be safe?</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">295</span>
+<p>Eh, Sirrah!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> That’s my master-piece: this
+plot</p>
+<p>Is my chief glory, and I’m proud to think</p>
+<p>I have such force, such power of cunning in me,</p>
+<p>As to be able to deceive them both,</p>
+<p>By speaking the plain truth: that when your father</p>
+<p>Tells Chremes, Bacchis is his own son’s mistress,</p>
+<p>He sha’n’t believe it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> But that way again</p>
+<p>You blast my hopes of marriage: for while Chremes</p>
+<p>Supposes her my mistress, he’ll not grant</p>
+<p>His daughter to me. You, perhaps, don’t care,</p>
+<p>So you provide for him, what comes of me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Why, plague! d’ye think I’d have
+you counterfeit</p>
+<p>Forever? but a day, to give me time</p>
+<p>To bubble Chremes of the money.&mdash;Peace!</p>
+<p>Not an hour more.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> Is that sufficient for you?</p>
+<p>But then, suppose his father find it out!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Suppose, as some folks say, the
+sky should fall!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">296</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> Still I’m afraid.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Afraid indeed, as if</p>
+<p>It was not in your pow’r, whene’er you pleas’d,</p>
+<p>To clear yourself, and tell the whole affair.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> Well, well, let Bacchis be brought
+over then!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Well said; and here she
+comes.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_IV_III" id = "torm_IV_III">
+SCENE III.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Bacchis</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Phrygia</span>, etc., at another part of the stage.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> Upon my life,</p>
+<p>This Syrus with his golden promises</p>
+<p>Has fool’d me hither charmingly! Ten minÊ</p>
+<p>He gave me full assurance of: but if</p>
+<p>He now deceives me, come whene’er he will,</p>
+<p>Canting and fawning to allure me hither,</p>
+<p>It shall be all in vain; I will not stir.</p>
+<p>Or when I have agreed, and fix’d a time,</p>
+<p>Of which he shall have giv’n his master notice,</p>
+<p>And Clitipho is all agog with hope,</p>
+<p>I’ll fairly jilt them both, and not come near them;</p>
+<p>And master Syrus’ back shall smart for it.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clin.</span> She promises you very fair.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">297</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> D’ye think</p>
+<p>She jests? She’ll do it, if I don’t take heed.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">478</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> They sleep: i’ faith, I’ll rouse
+them. Hark ye, Phrygia,</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>Did you observe the villa of Charinus,</p>
+<p>Which yonder fellow shew’d us?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phry.</span> I did, Madam.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> The next upon the right.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phry.</span> I recollect.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>Didst note the villa of Charinus, which</p>
+<p>That fellow just now show’d us? (<i>Aloud.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phry.</span> I did, Madam.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> The next house on the right hand.
+(<i>Aloud.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phry.</span> I remember.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> Run thither quickly: for the
+Captain spends</p>
+<p>The Dionysia there. (<i>Aloud.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus</span> (<i>behind</i>). What means she
+now?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> Tell him I’m here; and sore
+against my will,</p>
+
+<p class = "second">
+Detain’d by force; but I’ll devise some means</p>
+
+<p>Detain’d by force; but that I’ll find some means</p>
+<p>To slip away and come to him. (<i>Aloud.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Confusion!&mdash; (<i>Comes
+forward.</i>)</p>
+<p>Stay, Bacchis, Bacchis! where d’ye send that girl?</p>
+<p>Bid her stop!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> Go! (<i>To <span class =
+"charname">Phrygia</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> The money’s ready for you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> Oh! then I stay.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> You shall be paid directly.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> The money’s ready.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">298</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> Then</p>
+<p>I stay. (<i><span class = "charname">Phrygia</span> returns.</i>)
+</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> This instant you shall have it,
+Bacchis.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> When you please; I don’t press
+you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> But d’ye know</p>
+<p>What you’re to do?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> Why, what?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> You must go over,</p>
+<p>You and your equipage, to Menedemus.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> What are you at now,
+sauce-box?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Coining money</p>
+<p>For your use, Bacchis.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> Do you think to play</p>
+<p>Your jests on me?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> No; this is downright
+earnest.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> Are you the person I’m to deal
+with?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> No.</p>
+
+<p class = "second">
+But ’twill secure your money.</p>
+
+<p>But there I’ll pay the money.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> Let us go then!</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div split -->
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Follow her
+there.&mdash;&mdash;Ho, Dromo!</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene -->
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">299</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_IV_IV" id = "torm_IV_IV">
+SCENE IV.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Dromo</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dromo.</span> Who calls?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Syrus.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dromo.</span> Your pleasure! What’s the matter
+now?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Conduct</p>
+<p>All Bacchis’ maids to your house instantly.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dromo.</span> Why so?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> No questions: let them carry
+over</p>
+<p>All they brought hither. Our old gentleman</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">479</span>
+<p>Will think himself reliev’d from much expense</p>
+<p>By their departure. Troth, he little knows</p>
+<p>With how much loss this small gain threatens him.</p>
+<p>If you’re wise, Dromo, know not what you know.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dromo.</span> I’m dumb.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Dromo</span>, with <span class =
+"charname">Bacchis</span>’ servants and baggage, into the house of <span
+class = "charname">Menedemus</span>.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_IV_V" id = "torm_IV_V">
+SCENE V.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<ins class = "correction harper" title =
+"words missing in 1768 edition">After which</ins>, enter <span class =
+"charname">Chremes</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> (<i>to himself</i>). ’Fore
+Heav’n, I pity Menedemus.</p>
+<p>His case is lamentable: to maintain</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">300</span>
+<p>That jade and all her harlot family!</p>
+<p>Although I know for some few days to come</p>
+<p>He will not feel it; so exceedingly</p>
+<p>He long’d to have his son: but when he sees</p>
+<p>Such monstrous household riot and expense</p>
+<p>Continue daily, without end or measure,</p>
+<p>He’ll wish his son away from him again.</p>
+<p>But yonder’s Syrus in good time. (<i>Seeing <span class =
+"charname">Syrus</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> I’ll to him. (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Syrus!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Who’s there? (<i>Turning
+about.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What now?</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> The very man!</p>
+<p>I have been wishing for you this long time.</p>
+
+<p class = "second first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> You seem to’ve been at work with
+Menedemus.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> You seem to’ve been at work with
+the old man. </p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> What! at our plot? No sooner said
+than done.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Indeed!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Indeed.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I can’t forbear to stroke</p>
+<p>Your head for it. Good lad! come nearer, Syrus!</p>
+<p>I’ll do thee some good turn for this. I will,</p>
+<p>I promise you. (<i>Patting his head.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Ah, if you did but know</p>
+<p>How luckily it came into my head!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Pshaw, are you vain of your good
+luck?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Not I.</p>
+<p>I speak the plain truth.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">301</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Let me know it then.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Clinia has told his father that
+the wench</p>
+<p>Is mistress to your Clitipho; and that</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>He brought her over with him to their house,</p>
+<p>To hinder your detecting it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Good! good!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> D’ye think so?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Charming!</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>He brought her with him hither, to prevent</p>
+<p>Your smoking it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Incomparable!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Really?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> O, admirable!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Aye, if you knew all.</p>
+
+<p class = "second">
+But only hear the rest of our device.</p>
+
+<p>But only hear the rest of our advice.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">480</span>
+<p>He’ll tell his father he has seen your daughter,</p>
+<p>Whose beauty has so charm’d him at first sight,</p>
+<p>He longs to marry her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Antiphila?</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div split -->
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> The same: and he’ll request him
+to demand her</p>
+<p>Of you in marriage.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> To what purpose, Syrus?</p>
+<p>I don’t conceive the drift on’t.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> No! you’re slow.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Perhaps so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Menedemus instantly</p>
+<p>Will furnish him with money for the wedding,</p>
+<p>To buy&mdash;&mdash;d’ye take me?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Clothes and jewels.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Aye.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> But I will neither marry, nor
+betroth</p>
+<p>My daughter to him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> No? Why?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">302</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Why!&mdash;is that</p>
+<p>A question? to a wretch!&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Well, as you please.</p>
+<p>I never meant that he should marry her,</p>
+<p>But only to pretend&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I hate pretense.</p>
+<p>Plot as you please, but do not render me</p>
+<p>An engine in your rogueries. Shall I</p>
+<p>Contract my daughter, where I never can</p>
+<p>Consent to marry her?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> I fancied so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Not I.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> It might be done most
+dextrously:</p>
+<p>And, in obedience to your strict commands,</p>
+<p>I undertook this business.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I believe it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> However, Sir, I meant it
+well.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Nay, nay,</p>
+<p>Do’t by all means, and spare no trouble in’t;</p>
+<p>But bring your scheme to bear some other way.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> It shall be done: I’ll think upon
+some other.</p>
+<p>&mdash;But then the money which I mention’d to you,</p>
+<p>Owing to Bacchis by Antiphila,</p>
+<p>Must be repaid her: and you will not now</p>
+<p>Attempt to shift the matter off; or say,</p>
+<p>“&mdash;What is’t to me? was I the borrower?</p>
+<p>Did I command it? Could she pledge my daughter</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">303</span>
+
+<p class = "second">
+Against my will?”&mdash;These pleas you cannot urge;</p>
+
+<p>Against my will?”&mdash;&mdash;You can say none of this;</p>
+<p>For ’tis a common saying, and a true,</p>
+<p>That strictest law is oft the highest wrong.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I mean not to evade it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> No, I’ll warrant.</p>
+<p>Nay you, though others did, could never think on’t;</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">481</span>
+<p>For all the world imagines you’ve acquir’d</p>
+<p>A fair and handsome fortune.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I will carry</p>
+<p>The money to her instantly myself.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> No; rather send it by your
+son.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Why so!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Because he acts the part of her
+gallant.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Why then ’twill seem more
+probable,</p>
+<p>If he presents it: I too shall effect</p>
+<p>My scheme more easily.&mdash;And here he is.&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>In, Sir, and fetch the money out.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I will.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Chremes</span>.</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene -->
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">304</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_IV_VI" id = "torm_IV_VI">
+SCENE VI.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Clitipho</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> (<i>to himself</i>). Nothing so
+easy in itself, but when</p>
+<p>Perform’d against one’s will, grows difficult.</p>
+<p>This little walk how easy! yet how faint</p>
+<p>And weary it has made me!&mdash;and I fear</p>
+<p>Lest I be still excluded, and forbid</p>
+<p>To come near Bacchis. (<i>Seeing <span class =
+"charname">Syrus</span>.</i>)&mdash;Now all powers above.</p>
+<p>Confound you, Syrus, for the trick you play’d me!</p>
+<p>That brain of yours is evermore contriving</p>
+<p>Some villainy to torture me withal.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Away, you malapert! Your
+frowardness</p>
+<p>Had well-nigh been my ruin.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Would it had!</p>
+<p>For you deserv’d it richly.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> How! deserv’d it?</p>
+<p>I’faith I’m glad I heard you say so much</p>
+<p>Before you touch’d the cash, that I was just</p>
+<p>About to give you.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Away, you malapert! Your
+frowardness</p>
+<p>Had well-nigh ruin’d me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> I would it had,</p>
+<p>As you deserv’d!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> As I deserv’d!&mdash;How’s
+that?&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>Before you touch’d the cash, that I was just</p>
+<p>About to give you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Why, what can I say?</p>
+<p>You went away; came back, beyond my hopes,</p>
+<p>And brought my mistress with you; then again</p>
+<p>Forbade my touching her.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">305</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Well, well, I can’t</p>
+<p>Be peevish with you now&mdash;But do you know</p>
+<p>Where Bacchis is?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> At our house.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> No.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Where then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> At Clinia’s.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Then I’m ruin’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Courage, man!</p>
+<p>You shall go to her instantly, and carry</p>
+<p>The money that you promis’d her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Fine talk!</p>
+<p>Where should I get it?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">482</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> From your father.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Pshaw!</p>
+<p>You play upon me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> The event shall show.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Then I am bless’d indeed. Thanks,
+thanks, dear Syrus!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Hist! here’s your
+father.&mdash;Have a care! don’t seem</p>
+<p>Surpris’d at any thing: give way in all:</p>
+<p>Do as he bids, and say but little. Mum!</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene -->
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">306</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_IV_VII" id = "torm_IV_VII">
+SCENE VII.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Chremes</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Where’s Clitipho?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Clitipho</span></i>). Here, say.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Here, Sir!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Have you</p>
+<p>Inform’d him of the business? (<i>To <span class =
+"charname">Syrus</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> In good part.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Here, take the money then, and
+carry it. (<i>To <span class = "charname">Clitipho</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Plague, how you stand,
+log!&mdash;take it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Give it me.
+(<i>Awkwardly.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Now in with me
+immediately!&mdash;You, Sir, (<i>To <span class =
+"charname">Chremes</span>.</i>)</p>
+<p>Be pleas’d meanwhile to wait our coming here;</p>
+<p>There’s nothing to detain us very long.</p>
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Clitipho</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Syrus</span>.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_IV_VIII" id = "torm_IV_VIII">
+SCENE VIII.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Chremes</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>My daughter now has had ten minÊ of me,</p>
+<p>Which I account laid out upon her board:</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">307</span>
+<p>Ten more her clothes will come to: and moreover</p>
+<p>Two talents for her portion.&mdash;&mdash;How unjust</p>
+<p>And absolute is custom! I must now</p>
+<p>Leave every thing, and find a stranger out,</p>
+<p>On whom I may bestow the sum of wealth</p>
+<p>Which I have so much labor’d to acquire.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_IV_IX" id = "torm_IV_IX">
+SCENE IX.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Menedemus</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> (<i>to himself</i>). Oh son, how
+happy hast thou made thy father,</p>
+<p>Convinc’d of thy repentance!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> (<i>overhearing</i>). How
+mistaken!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Chremes! I wish’d for
+you.&mdash;’Tis in your power,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">483</span>
+<p>And I beseech you do it, to preserve</p>
+<p>My son, myself, and family.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I’ll do’t.</p>
+<p>Wherein can I oblige you?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">308</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> You to-day</p>
+<p>Have found a daughter.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> True. What then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> My Clinia</p>
+<p>Begs your consent to marry her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Good Heaven!</p>
+<p>What kind of man are you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> What mean you, Chremes?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Has it then slipp’d your memory
+so soon,</p>
+<p>The conversation that we had together,</p>
+<p>Touching the rogueries they should devise,</p>
+<p>To trick you of your money?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> I remember.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> This is the trick.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> How, Chremes? I’m deceiv’d.</p>
+<p>’Tis as you say. From what a pleasing hope</p>
+<p>Have I then fall’n!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> And she, I warrant you,</p>
+<p>Now at your house, is my son’s mistress? Eh!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> So they say.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What! and you believ’d it?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> All.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> &mdash;And they say too he wants
+to marry her;</p>
+<p>That soon as I’ve consented, you may give him</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">309</span>
+<p>Money to furnish her with jewels, clothes,</p>
+<p>And other necessaries.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Aye, ’tis so:</p>
+<p>The money’s for his mistress.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> To be sure.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Alas, my transports are all
+groundless then.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Yet I would rather bear with any thing,</p>
+<p>Than lose my son again.&mdash;What answer, Chremes,</p>
+<p>Shall I return with, that he mayn’t perceive</p>
+<p>I’ve found him out, and take offense?</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Offense!</p>
+<p>You’re too indulgent to him, Menedemus!</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Allow me. I’ve begun, and must go
+through.</p>
+<p>Do but continue to assist me, Chremes.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Say we have met, and treated of
+the match.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Allow me. I’ve begun, and must go
+through.</p>
+<p>Do but continue to assist me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Say,</p>
+<p>That we have met, and treated of the match.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Well; and what else?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> That I give full consent;</p>
+<p>That I approve my son-in-law;&mdash;In short,</p>
+<p>You may assure him also, if you please,</p>
+<p>That I’ve betroth’d my daughter to him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Good!</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>The very thing I wanted.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> So your son</p>
+<p>The sooner shall demand the money of you;</p>
+<p>And so shall you, according to your wish</p>
+<p>The sooner give.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> It is my wish indeed.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> ’Fore heaven, friend, as far as I
+can judge,</p>
+<p>You’ll soon be weary of your son again.</p>
+<p>But be it as it may, give cautiously,</p>
+<p>A little at a time, if you are wise.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>The thing I wanted.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">484</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> So shall he the sooner</p>
+<p>Demand the money; you, as you desire,</p>
+<p>The sooner give.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">310</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> ’Tis my desire indeed.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> ’Troth, friend, as far as I can
+judge of this,</p>
+<p>You’ll soon be weary of your son again.</p>
+<p>But as the case now stands, give cautiously,</p>
+<p>A little at a time, if you are wise.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> I will.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Go in, and see what he
+demands.</p>
+<p>If you should want me, I’m at home.</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div split -->
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> ’Tis well.</p>
+<p>For I shall let you know, do what I will.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exeunt severally.</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene -->
+
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">311</span>
+<h4 class = "act"><a name = "torm_V" id = "torm_V">
+ACT THE FIFTH.</a></h4>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_V_I" id = "torm_V_I">
+SCENE I.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Menedemus</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>That I’m not overwise, no conjurer,</p>
+<p>I know full well: but my assistant here,</p>
+<p>And counselor, and grand controller Chremes,</p>
+<p>Outgoes me far: dolt, blockhead, ninny, ass;</p>
+<p>Or these, or any other common terms</p>
+<p>By which men speak of fools, befit me well:</p>
+<p>But him they suit not: his stupidity</p>
+<p>Is so transcendent, it exceeds them all.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_V_II" id = "torm_V_II">
+SCENE II.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Chremes</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Sostrata</span>, within</i>). Nay prithee, good wife, cease
+to stun the Gods</p>
+<p>With thanking them that you have found your daughter;</p>
+<p>Unless you fancy they are like yourself,</p>
+<p>And think they can not understand a thing</p>
+<p>Unless said o’er and o’er a hundred times.</p>
+<p>&mdash;But meanwhile (<i>coming forward</i>) wherefore do my son and
+Syrus</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">312</span>
+<p>Loiter so long?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Who are those loiterers,
+Chremes?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Ha, Menedemus, are you
+there?&mdash;Inform me,</p>
+<p>Have you told Clinia what I said?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> The whole.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> And what said he?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Grew quite transported at it,</p>
+<p>Like those who wish for marriage.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">485</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Ha! ha! ha!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> What do you laugh at?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I was thinking of</p>
+<p>The cunning rogueries of that slave, Syrus. (<i>Laughing.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Oh, was that it?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Why, he can form and mould</p>
+<p>The very visages of men, a rogue! (<i>Laughing.</i>)</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Meaning my son’s well-acted
+transport?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Aye. (<i>Laughing.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "second first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> The very thing that I was thinking
+of.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> The very same thing I was thinking
+of.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> A subtle villain!
+(<i>Laughing.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Nay, if you knew more,</p>
+<p>You’d be still more convinc’d on’t.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Say you so?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Aye; do but hear.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> (<i>laughing</i>). Hold! hold!
+inform me first</p>
+<p>How much you’re out of pocket. For as soon</p>
+<p>As you inform’d your son of my consent,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">313</span>
+<p>Dromo, I warrant, gave you a broad hint</p>
+<p>That the bride wanted jewels, clothes, attendants;</p>
+<p>That you might pay the money.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> No.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> How? No?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> No, I say.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What! nor Clinia?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Not a word;</p>
+<p>But only press’d the marriage for to-day.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Amazing!&mdash;But our Syrus? Did
+not he</p>
+<p>Throw in a word or two?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Not he.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> How so?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Faith I can’t tell: but I’m amaz’d
+that you,</p>
+<p>Who see so clearly into all the rest,</p>
+<p>Should stick at this.&mdash;But that arch villain Syrus</p>
+<p>Has form’d and moulded your son too so rarely.</p>
+<p>That nobody can have the least suspicion</p>
+<p>That this is Clinia’s mistress.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> How?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> I pass</p>
+<p>Their kisses and embraces. All that’s nothing.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What is there more <ins class =
+"correction second" title = "Harper edition reads ‘than’">that</ins> he
+can counterfeit?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Ah! (<i>Smiling.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What d’ye mean?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Nay, do but hear. I have</p>
+<p>A private snug apartment, a back room,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">314</span>
+<p>Whither a bed was brought and made.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> No sooner done, than in went
+Clitipho.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Alone?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Alone.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I tremble.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">486</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Bacchis follow’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Alone?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Alone.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Undone!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> No sooner in,</p>
+<p>But they made fast the door.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Ha! And was Clinia</p>
+<p>Witness to this?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> He was.&mdash;Both he and I.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Bacchis is my son’s mistress,
+Menedemus.</p>
+<p>I’m ruin’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Why d’ye think so?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Mine is scarce</p>
+<p>A ten-days’ family.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> What are you dismay’d</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">315</span>
+<p>Because he sticks so closely to his friend?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Friend! His she-friend.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> If so&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Is that a doubt?</p>
+<p>Is any man so courteous, and so patient,</p>
+<p>As tamely to stand by and see his mistress&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Ha, ha, ha! Why not?&mdash;That I,
+you know,</p>
+<p>Might be more easily impos’d upon. (<i>Ironically.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> D’ye laugh at me? I’m angry with
+myself:</p>
+<p>And well I may. How many circumstances</p>
+<p>Conspir’d to make it gross and palpable,</p>
+<p>Had I not been a stone!&mdash;What things I saw!</p>
+<p>Fool, fool! But by my life I’ll <ins class = "correction" title =
+"1896 printing of Harper edition reads ‘he’">be</ins> reveng’d:</p>
+<!-- only place where printings differ -->
+<p>For now&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> And can’t you then contain
+yourself?</p>
+<p>Have you no self-respect? And am not I</p>
+<p>A full example for you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Menedemus,</p>
+<p>My anger throws me quite beside myself.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> That you should talk thus! is it
+not a shame</p>
+<p>To be so lib’ral of advice to others,</p>
+<p>So wise abroad, and poor in sense at home?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What shall I do?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> That which but even now</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">316</span>
+<p>You counsel’d me to do: Give him to know</p>
+<p>That you’re indeed a father: let him dare</p>
+<p>Trust his whole soul to you, seek, ask of you;</p>
+<p>Lest he to others have recourse, and leave you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> And let him go; go where he will;
+much rather</p>
+<p>Than here by his extravagance reduce</p>
+<p>His father to distress and beggary.</p>
+<p>For if I should continue to supply</p>
+<p>The course of his expenses, Menedemus,</p>
+<p>Your desp’rate rakes would be my lot indeed.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Ah, to what evils you’ll expose
+yourself,</p>
+<p>Unless you’re cautious! You will seem severe,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">487</span>
+<p>And yet forgive him afterward, and then</p>
+<p>With an ill grace too.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Ah, you do not know</p>
+<p>How much this grieves me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Well, well, take your way.</p>
+<p>But tell me, do you grant me my request</p>
+<p>That this your new-found daughter wed my son?</p>
+<p>Or is there aught more welcome to you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Nothing.</p>
+<p>The son-in-law and the alliance please me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> What portion shall I tell my son
+you’ve settled!</p>
+<p>Why are you silent?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Portion!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Aye, what portion?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Ah!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">317</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Fear not, Chremes, though it be
+but small:</p>
+<p>The portion nothing moves us.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I propos’d,</p>
+<p>According to my fortune, that two talents</p>
+<p>Were full sufficient: But you now must say,</p>
+<p>If you’d save me, my fortune, and my son,</p>
+<p>That I have settled all I have upon her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> What mean you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Counterfeit amazement too,</p>
+<p>And question Clitipho my reason for it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Nay, but I really do not know your
+reason.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> My reason for it?&mdash;That his
+wanton mind,</p>
+<p>Now flush’d with lux’ry and lasciviousness,</p>
+<p>I may o’erwhelm: and bring him down so low,</p>
+<p>He may not know which way to turn himself.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> What are you at?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Allow me! let me have</p>
+<p>My own way in this business.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> I allow you.</p>
+<p>Is it your pleasure?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> It is.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Be it so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Come then, let Clinia haste to
+call the bride.</p>
+<p>And for this son of mine, he shall be school’d,</p>
+<p>As children ought.&mdash;But Syrus!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> What of him?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What! I’ll so handle him, so
+curry him,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">318</span>
+<p>That while he lives he shall remember me.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Menedemus</span>.</p>
+<p>What, make a jest of me? a laughing-stock?</p>
+<p>Now, afore Heav’n, he would not dare to treat</p>
+<p>A poor lone widow as he treated me.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">488</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_V_III" id = "torm_V_III">
+SCENE III.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Re-enter <span class = "charname">Menedemus</span>, with <span class =
+"charname">Clitipho</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Syrus</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> And can it, Menedemus, can it
+be,</p>
+<p>My father has so suddenly cast off</p>
+<p>All natural affection? for what act?</p>
+<p>What crime, alas! so heinous have I done?</p>
+<p>It is a common failing.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> This I know,</p>
+<p>Should be more heavy and severe to you</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">319</span>
+<p>On whom it falls: and yet am I no less</p>
+<p>Affected by it, though I know not why,</p>
+<p>And have no other reason for my grief,</p>
+<p>But that I wish you well.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Did not you say</p>
+<p>My father waited here?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Aye; there he is.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Menedemus</span>.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Why d’ye accuse your father,
+Clitipho?</p>
+<p>Whate’er I’ve done, was providently done</p>
+<p>Tow’rd you and your imprudence. When I saw</p>
+<p>Your negligence of soul, and that you held</p>
+<p>The pleasures of to-day your only care,</p>
+<p>Regardless of the morrow; I found means</p>
+<p>That you should neither want, nor waste my substance.</p>
+<p>When you, whom fair succession first made heir,</p>
+<p>Stood self-degraded by unworthiness,</p>
+<p>I went to those the next in blood to you,</p>
+<p>Committing and consigning all to them.</p>
+<p>There shall your weakness, Clitipho, be sure</p>
+<p>Ever to find a refuge; food, and raiment,</p>
+<p>And roof to fly to.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Ah me!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Better thus,</p>
+<p>Than, you being heir, for Bacchis to have all.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Distraction! what disturbances
+have I,</p>
+<p>Wretch that I am, all unawares created!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Would I were dead!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">320</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Learn first what ’tis to
+live.</p>
+<p>When you know that, if life displeases you,</p>
+<p>Then talk of dying.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Master, may I speak?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Speak.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> But with safety?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Speak.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> How wrong is this,</p>
+<p>Or rather what extravagance and madness,</p>
+<p>To punish him for my offense!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Away!</p>
+<p>Do not you meddle. No one blames you, Syrus!</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">489</span>
+<p>Nor need you to provide a sanctuary,</p>
+<p>Or intercessor.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> What is it you do?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I am not angry, nor with you, nor
+him:</p>
+<p>Nor should you take offense at what I do.</p>
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Chremes</span>.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_V_IV" id = "torm_V_IV">
+SCENE IV.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<ins class = "correction second" title = "missing in Harper edition">
+Manent <span class = "charname">Clitipho</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Syrus</span>.</ins></p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> He’s gone. Ah, would I’d ask’d
+him&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Ask’d what, Syrus?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Where I should eat, since he has
+cast us off.</p>
+<p>You, I perceive, are quarter’d on your sister.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Is’t come to this, that I should
+be in fear</p>
+<p>Of starving, Syrus?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">321</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> So we do but live,</p>
+<p>There’s hope&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Of what?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> That we shall have rare
+stomachs.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> D’ye jest at such a time as
+this;</p>
+<p>And lend me no assistance by your counsel?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Nay, I was studying for you even
+now.</p>
+<p>And was so all the while your father spoke.</p>
+<p>And far as I can understand this&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> What?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Stay, you shall have it
+presently. (<i>Thinking.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Well, what?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Thus then: I don’t believe that
+you’re their son.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> How Syrus! are you mad?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> I’ll speak my thoughts.</p>
+<p>Be you the judge. While they had you alone,</p>
+<p>While yet there was no other nearer joy,</p>
+<p>You they indulg’d, and gave with open hand:</p>
+<p>But now a daughter’s found, their real child,</p>
+<p>A cause is found to drive you forth.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> ’Tis like.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Think you this fault so angers
+him?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> I think not.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Consider too; ’tis ever found
+that mothers</p>
+<p>Plead for their sons, and in the father’s wrath</p>
+<p>Defend them. ’Tis not so at present.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> True.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">322</span>
+<p>What shall I do then, Syrus?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Ask of them</p>
+<p>The truth of this suspicion. Speak your thoughts.</p>
+<p>If ’tis not so, you’ll speedily incline them</p>
+<p>Both to compassion; or, if so, be told</p>
+<p>Whose son you are.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Your counsel’s good. I’ll
+do’t.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">490</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_V_V" id = "torm_V_V">
+SCENE V.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>A lucky thought of mine! for Clitipho:</p>
+<p>The less he hopes, so much more easily</p>
+<p>Will he reduce his father to good terms.</p>
+<p>Besides, who knows but he may take a wife?</p>
+<p>No thanks to Syrus neither.&mdash;But who’s here?</p>
+<p>Chremes!&mdash;I’m off: for seeing what has pass’d,</p>
+<p>I wonder that he did not order me</p>
+<p>To be truss’d up immediately. I’ll hence</p>
+<p>To Menedemus, and prevail on him</p>
+<p>To intercede for me: as matters stand,</p>
+<p>I dare not trust to our old gentleman.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Syrus</span>.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">323</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_V_VI" id = "torm_V_VI">
+SCENE VI.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Chremes</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Sostrata</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Nay indeed, husband, if you
+don’t take care,</p>
+<p>You’ll bring some kind of mischief on your son:</p>
+<p>I can’t imagine how a thought so idle</p>
+<p>Could come into your head.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Still, woman, still</p>
+<p>D’ye contradict me? Did I ever wish</p>
+<p>For any thing in all my life, but you</p>
+<p>In that same thing oppos’d me, Sostrata?</p>
+<p>Yet now if I should ask wherein I’m wrong,</p>
+<p>Or wherefore I act thus, you do not know.</p>
+<p>Why then d’ye contradict me, simpleton?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Not know?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Well, well, you know: I grant it,
+rather</p>
+<p>Than hear your idle story o’er again.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Ah, ’tis unjust in you to ask my
+silence</p>
+<p>In such a thing as this.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I do not ask it.</p>
+<p>Speak if you will: I’ll do it ne’ertheless.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Will you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I will.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> You don’t perceive what harm</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">324</span>
+<p>May come of this. He thinks himself a foundling.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> A foundling, say you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Yes indeed, he does.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Confess it to be true.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Ah, Heav’n forbid!</p>
+<p>Let our most bitter enemies do that!</p>
+<p>Shall I disown my son, my own dear child!</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What! do you fear you can not at
+your pleasure</p>
+<p>Produce convincing proofs that he’s your own?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Is it because my daughter’s
+found you say this?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">491</span>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">325</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> No: but because, a stronger
+reason far,</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>His manners are so very like your own,</p>
+<p>They are convincing proofs that he’s your son</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>His manners so resemble yours, you may</p>
+<p>Easily prove him thence to be your son.</p>
+<p>He is quite like you: not a vice, whereof</p>
+<p>He is inheritor, but dwells in you:</p>
+<p>And such a son no mother but yourself</p>
+<p>Could have engender’d.&mdash;But he comes.&mdash;How grave!</p>
+<p>Look in his face, and you may guess his plight.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene -->
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_V_VII" id = "torm_V_VII">
+SCENE VII.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Clitipho</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Oh mother, if there ever was a
+time</p>
+<p>When you took pleasure in me, or delight</p>
+<p>To call me son, beseech you, think of that;</p>
+<p>Pity my present misery, and tell me</p>
+<p>Who are my real parents!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> My dear son,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">326</span>
+<p>Take not, I beg, that notion to your mind,</p>
+<p>That you’re an alien to our blood.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> I am.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Ah me! and can you then demand
+me that?</p>
+<p>So may you prosper after both, as you’re</p>
+<p>Of both the child! and if you love your mother,</p>
+<p>Take heed henceforward that I never hear</p>
+<p>Such words from you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> And if you fear your father,</p>
+<p>See that I never find such vices in you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> What vices?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What? I’ll tell you. Trifler,
+idler,</p>
+<p>Cheat, drunkard, whoremaster, and prodigal.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Think this, and think that you are ours.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> These words</p>
+<p>Suit not a father.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> No, no, Clitipho,</p>
+<p>Though from my brain you had been born, as Pallas</p>
+<p>Sprang, it is said, from Jupiter, I would not</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">327</span>
+<p>Bear the disgrace of your enormities.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> The Gods
+forbid&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I know not for the Gods:</p>
+<p>I will do all that lies in me. You seek</p>
+<p>For parents, which you have: but what is wanting,</p>
+<p>Obedience to your father, and the means</p>
+<p>To keep what he by labor hath acquir’d,</p>
+<p>For that you seek not.&mdash;Did you not by tricks</p>
+<p>Ev’n to my presence introduce&mdash;&mdash;I blush</p>
+<p>To speak immodestly before your mother:</p>
+<p>But you by no means blush’d to do’t.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Alas!</p>
+<p>How hateful am I to myself! how much</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">492</span>
+<p>Am I asham’d! so lost, I can not tell</p>
+<p>How to attempt to pacify my father.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">328</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "torm_V_VIII" id = "torm_V_VIII">
+SCENE VIII.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Menedemus</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Now in good faith our Chremes
+plagues his son</p>
+<p>Too long and too severely. I come forth</p>
+<p>To reconcile him, and make peace between them.</p>
+<p>And there they are!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Ha, Menedemus! wherefore</p>
+<p>Is not my daughter summon’d? and the portion,</p>
+<p>I settled on her; ratified by you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Dear husband, I beseech you not
+to do it!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> My father, I entreat you pardon
+me!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Forgive him, Chremes! let his
+pray’rs prevail!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What! shall I then with open eyes
+bestow</p>
+<p>My whole estate on Bacchis? I’ll not do’t.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> We will prevent that. It shall not
+be so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> If you regard my life, forgive me,
+father!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Do, my dear Chremes!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> Do, I prithee now!</p>
+<p>Be not obdurate, Chremes!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Why is this?</p>
+<p>I see I can’t proceed as I’ve begun.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> ’Tis as it should be now.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> On this condition,</p>
+<p>That he agrees to do what I think fit.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">329</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> I will do ev’ry thing. Command me,
+father!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Take a wife.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Father!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Nay, Sir, no denial!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> I take that charge upon me. He
+shall do’t.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> But I don’t hear a word of it
+from him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Confusion!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Do you doubt then, Clitipho?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Nay, which he pleases.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Mene.</span> He’ll obey in all;</p>
+<p>Whate’er you’d have him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> This at first is grievous,</p>
+<p>While you don’t know it; when you know it, easy.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> I’m all obedience, father!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Oh my son,</p>
+<p>I’ll give you a sweet wife, that you’ll adore,</p>
+<p>Phanocrata’s, our neighbor’s daughter.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Her!</p>
+<p>That red-hair’d, blear-eyed, wide-mouth’d, hook-nos’d wench?</p>
+<p>I can not, father.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Oh, how nice he is!</p>
+<p>Would any one imagine it?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">493</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> I’ll get you</p>
+<p>Another then.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> Well, well; since I must
+marry,</p>
+<p>I know one pretty near my mind.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">330</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Good boy!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> The daughter of Archonides, our
+neighbor.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Well chosen!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> One thing, father, still
+remains.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Clit.</span> That you’d grant poor Syrus a full
+pardon</p>
+<p>For all that he hath done on my account.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Be it so.&mdash; (<i>To the
+Audience.</i>) Farewell Sirs, and clap your hands!</p>
+
+</div>
+
+</div> <!-- end div play -->
+
+<p class = "illustration">
+<img src = "images/flutes.jpg" width = "288" height = "321"
+alt = "flute players">
+</p> <!-- originally printed partway through Colman intro-->
+
+<div class = "play">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">8</span>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">494</span>
+
+<h2 class = "title"><a name = "adelphi" id = "adelphi">
+THE BROTHERS.</a></h2>
+
+<hr class = "mid">
+
+<h5>PERSONS REPRESENTED.</h5>
+
+<table class = "cast" summary = "cast of characters">
+<tr>
+<td class = "castleft">
+<p class = "charname">Prologue.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Demea.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Micio.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Æschinus.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Ctesipho.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Hegio.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Sannio.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Geta.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Syrus.</p>
+</td>
+<td class = "castright">
+<p class = "charname">Geta.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Dromo.</p>
+<p><i><span class = "charname">Parmeno</span>, other Servants,
+etc.</i></p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p class = "charname">Sostrata.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Canthara.</p>
+<p><i><span class = "charname">Music-Girl</span>, and other
+Mutes.</i></p>
+</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class = "scene" colspan = "2">
+<p class = "smallcaps">Scene, Athens.</p>
+</td>
+</tr>
+</table>
+
+<hr class = "mid">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">9</span>
+<h5><a name = "adel_prolog" id = "adel_prolog">
+PROLOGUE.</a></h5>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "indent">
+<span class = "firstword">The</span> Bard perceiving his piece cavil’d
+at</p>
+<p>By partial critics, and his adversaries</p>
+<p>Misrepresenting what we’re now to play,</p>
+<p>Pleads his own cause: and you shall be the judges,</p>
+<p>Whether he merits praise or condemnation.</p>
+
+<p class = "indent">
+The <i>Synapothnescontes</i> is a piece</p>
+<p>By Diphilus, a comedy which Plautus,</p>
+<p>Having translated, call’d <span class =
+"smallcaps">Commorientes</span>.</p>
+<p>In the beginning of the Grecian play</p>
+<p>There is a youth, who rends a girl perforce</p>
+<p>From a procurer: and this incident,</p>
+<p>Untouch’d by Plautus, render’d word for word,</p>
+<p>Has our bard interwoven with his <i>Brothers</i>;</p>
+<p>The new piece which we represent to-day.</p>
+<p>Say then if this be theft, or honest use</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">10</span>
+<p>Of what remain’d unoccupied.&mdash;For that</p>
+<p>Which malice tells, that certain noble persons</p>
+<p>Assist the Bard, and write in concert with him;</p>
+<p>That which they deem a heavy slander, He</p>
+<p>Esteems his greatest praise: that he can please</p>
+<p>Those who please you, who all the people please;</p>
+<p>Those who in war, in peace, in counsel, ever</p>
+<p>Have render’d you the dearest services,</p>
+<p>And ever borne their faculties so meekly.</p>
+
+<p class = "indent">
+Expect not now the story of the play:</p>
+<p>Part the old men, who first appear, will open;</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">495</span>
+<p>Part will in act be shown.&mdash;Be favorable;</p>
+<p>And let your candor to the poet now</p>
+<p>Increase his future earnestness to write!</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">11</span>
+<h4 class = "act"><a name = "adel_I" id = "adel_I">
+ACT THE FIRST.</a></h4>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_I_I" id = "adel_I_I">
+SCENE I.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Micio</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "indent">
+Ho, Storax!&mdash;No reply?&mdash;Then Aeschinus</p>
+<p>Never return’d, it seems, last night from supper;</p>
+<p>Nor any of the slaves, who went to meet him.</p>
+<p>&mdash;’Tis commonly&mdash;and oh how truly!&mdash;said,</p>
+<p>If you are absent, or delay, ’twere best</p>
+<p>That should befall you, which your wife declares</p>
+<p>Or which in anger she supposes of you</p>
+<p>Than that which kindest parents fear.&mdash;Your wife,</p>
+<p>If you delay, suspects that you’re engag’d</p>
+<p>In some intrigue, debauch, or entertainment;</p>
+<p>Consulting your own happiness abroad,</p>
+<p>While she, poor soul! is left to pine at home.</p>
+<p>But what a world of fears possess me now!</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">12</span>
+<p>How many ills I figure to myself,</p>
+<p>As causes that my son is not return’d!</p>
+<p>Lest he have taken cold, or had a fall,</p>
+<p>Or broke a limb!&mdash;Good heavens! that a man</p>
+<p>Shou’d doat so much, or suffer any one</p>
+<p>To wind himself so close about his heart,</p>
+<p>As to grow dearer to him than himself!</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "indent">
+Ho, Storax!&mdash;Æschinus did not return</p>
+<p>Last night from supper; no, nor any one</p>
+<p>Of all the slaves who went to see for him.</p>
+<p>&mdash;’Tis commonly&mdash;and oh how truly!&mdash;said,</p>
+<p>If you are absent, or delay, ’twere best</p>
+<p>That should befall you, which your wife denounces,</p>
+<p>Or which in anger she calls down upon you,</p>
+<p>Than that which kindest parents fear.&mdash;Your wife,</p>
+<p>If you delay, or thinks that you’re in love,</p>
+<p>Or lov’d, or drink, or entertain yourself,</p>
+<p>Taking your pleasure, while she pines at home.</p>
+<p>&mdash;And what a world of fears possess me now!</p>
+<p>How anxious that my son is not return’d;</p>
+<p>Lest he take cold, or fall, or break a limb!</p>
+<p>&mdash;Gods, that a man should suffer any one</p>
+<p>To wind himself so close about his heart,</p>
+<p>As to grow dearer to him than himself!</p>
+
+<p class = "allclear">&nbsp;</p>
+
+<p>And yet he is not my son, but my brother’s,</p>
+<p>Whose bent of mind is wholly different.</p>
+<p>I, from youth upward even to this day,</p>
+<p>Have led a quiet and serene town-life;</p>
+<p>And, as some reckon fortunate, ne’er married.</p>
+<p>He, in all points the opposite of this,</p>
+<p>Has pass’d his days entirely in the country</p>
+<p>With thrift and labor; married; had two sons;</p>
+<p>The elder boy is by adoption mine;</p>
+<p>I’ve brought him up; kept; lov’d him as my own;</p>
+<p>Made him my joy, and all my soul holds dear,</p>
+<p>Striving to make myself as dear to him.</p>
+<p>I give, o’erlook, nor think it requisite</p>
+<p>That all his deeds should be controll’d by me,</p>
+<p>Giving him scope to act as of himself;</p>
+<p>So that the pranks of youth, which other children</p>
+<p>Hide from their fathers, I have us’d my son</p>
+<p>Not to conceal from me. For whosoe’er</p>
+<p>Hath won upon himself to play the false one,</p>
+<p>And practice impositions on a father,</p>
+<p>Will do the same with less remorse to others;</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">496</span>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">13</span>
+<p>And ’tis, in my opinion, better far</p>
+<p>To bind your children to you by the ties</p>
+<p>Of gentleness and modesty, than fear.</p>
+<p>And yet my brother don’t accord in this,</p>
+<p>Nor do these notions nor this conduct please him.</p>
+<p>Oft he comes open-mouth’d&mdash;<ins class = "correction second"
+title = "quotation marks supplied from 1768 edition">“Why</ins> how now,
+Micio?</p>
+<p>Why do you ruin this young lad of ours?</p>
+<p>Why does he wench? why drink? and why do you</p>
+<p>Allow him money to afford all this?</p>
+<p>You let him dress too fine. ’Tis idle in you.”</p>
+<p>&mdash;’Tis hard in him, unjust and out of reason.</p>
+<p>And he, I think, deceives himself indeed,</p>
+<p>Who fancies that authority more firm</p>
+<p>Founded on force, than what is built on friendship;</p>
+<p>For thus I reason, thus persuade myself:</p>
+<p>He who performs his duty driven to’t</p>
+<p>By fear of punishment, while he believes</p>
+<p>His actions are observ’d, so long he’s wary;</p>
+<p>But if he hopes for secrecy, returns</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">14</span>
+<p>To his own ways again: But he whom kindness,</p>
+<p>Him also inclination makes your own:</p>
+<p>He burns to make a due return, and acts,</p>
+<p>Present or absent, evermore the same.</p>
+<p>’Tis this then is the duty of a father,</p>
+<p>To make a son embrace a life of virtue,</p>
+<p>Rather from choice than terror or constraint.</p>
+<p>Here lies the mighty difference between</p>
+<p>A father and a master. He who knows not</p>
+<p>How to do this, let him confess he knows not</p>
+<p>How to rule children.&mdash;But is this the man</p>
+<p>Whom I was speaking of? Yes, yes, ’tis he.</p>
+<p>He seems uneasy too, I know not why,</p>
+<p>And I suppose, as usual, comes to wrangle.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_I_II" id = "adel_I_II">
+SCENE II.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Demea</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Demea, I’m glad to see you
+well.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Demea.</span> Oho!</p>
+<p>Well met: the very man I came to seek.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> But you appear uneasy: What’s the
+matter?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">15</span>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Demea.</span> Uneasy? well I may.&mdash;The
+matter, say you?</p>
+<p>What can the matter be but Æschinus?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> I said it wou’d be so.&mdash;What
+has he done?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Demea.</span> What has he done! a wretch whom
+neither fear,</p>
+<p>Nor modesty, nor any law can bind!</p>
+<p>For not to speak of all his former pranks,</p>
+<p>What has he been about but even now!</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Demea.</span> Is it a question, when there’s
+Æschinus</p>
+<p>To trouble us, what makes me so uneasy?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> I said it would be so.&mdash;What
+has he done?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Demea.</span> What has he done? a wretch, whom
+neither ties</p>
+<p>Of shame, nor fear, nor any law can bind!</p>
+<p>For not to speak of all his former pranks,</p>
+<p>What has he been about but even now!</p>
+
+<p class = "allclear">&nbsp;</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> What has he done?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Demea.</span> Burst open doors, and made</p>
+<p>His way by force into another’s house;</p>
+<p>Half-kill’d the master and his family,</p>
+<p>And carried off a wench whom he was fond of.</p>
+<p>All Athens cries out shame upon him for it.</p>
+<p>I have been told of it a hundred times</p>
+<p>Since my arrival. ’Tis the town-talk, Micio.</p>
+<p>And if we needs must draw comparisons,</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> What has he done?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Demea.</span> Burst open doors, and forc’d</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">497</span>
+<p>His way into another’s house, and beat</p>
+<p>The master and his family half dead;</p>
+<p>And carried off a wench whom he was fond of.</p>
+<p>The whole town cries out shame upon him, Micio.</p>
+<p>I have been told of it a hundred times</p>
+<p>Since my arrival. ’Tis the common talk.&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>And if we needs must draw comparisons,</p>
+<p>Does not he see his brother thrifty, sober,</p>
+<p>Attentive to his business in the country?</p>
+<p>Not given to these practices; and when</p>
+<p>I say all this to him, to you I say it.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">16</span>
+<p>You are his ruin, Micio.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> How unjust</p>
+<p>Is he who wants experience! who believes</p>
+<p>Nothing is right but what he does himself!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Demea.</span> Why d’ye say that?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Because you, Demea,</p>
+
+<p class = "second">
+Misjudge these matters. ’Tis no heinous crime</p>
+
+<p>Judge wrongly of these matters. ’Tis no crime</p>
+<p>For a young man to wench or drink.&mdash;’Tis not,</p>
+<p>Believe me!&mdash;nor to force doors open.&mdash;This,</p>
+<p>If neither you nor I have done, it was</p>
+<p>That poverty allow’d us not. And now</p>
+<p>You claim a merit to yourself, from that</p>
+<p>Which want constrain’d you to. It is not fair.</p>
+<p>For had there been but wherewithal to do’t,</p>
+<p>We likewise should have done thus. Wherefore you,</p>
+<p>Were you a man, would let your younger son,</p>
+<p>Now, while it suits his age, pursue his pleasures;</p>
+<p>Rather than, when it less becomes his years,</p>
+<p>When, after wishing long, he shall at last</p>
+<p>Be rid of you, he should run riot then.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Demea.</span> Oh Jupiter! the man will drive me
+mad.</p>
+<p>Is it no crime, d’ye say, for a young man</p>
+<p>To take these courses?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Nay, nay; do but hear me,</p>
+<p>Nor stun me with the self-same thing forever!</p>
+<p>Your elder son you gave me for adoption:</p>
+<p>He’s mine, then, Demea; and if he offends,</p>
+<p>’Tis an offense to me, and I must bear</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">17</span>
+<p>The burden. Does he treat? or drink? or dress?</p>
+<p>’Tis at my cost.&mdash;Or wench? I will supply him,</p>
+<p>While ’tis convenient to me; when ’tis not,</p>
+<p>His mistresses perhaps will shut him out.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">18</span>
+<p>&mdash;Has he broke open doors? we’ll make them good.</p>
+<p>Or torn a coat? it shall be mended. I,</p>
+<p>Thank Heaven, have enough to do all this,</p>
+<p>And ’tis as yet not irksome.&mdash;In a word,</p>
+
+<p class = "second">
+Have done, or chuse some arbiter between us:</p>
+
+<p>Or cease, or choose some arbiter between us:</p>
+<p>I’ll prove that you are more in fault than I.
+</p>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Demea.</span> Ah, learn to be a father; learn
+from those</p>
+<p>Who know what ’tis to be indeed a parent!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">498</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> By nature you’re his father, I by
+counsel.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Demea.</span> You! do you counsel any
+thing?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Nay, nay;</p>
+<p>If you persist, I’m gone.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Demea.</span> Is’t thus you treat me?</p>
+
+<p class = "second first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Must I be plagued with the same
+thing so often?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Must I still hear the same thing
+o’er and o’er?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Demea.</span> It touches me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> And me it touches too.</p>
+<p>But, Demea, let us each look to our own;</p>
+<p>Let me take care of one, and mind you t’other.</p>
+<p>For to concern yourself with both, appears</p>
+<p>As if you’d redemand the boy you gave.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Demea.</span> Ah, Micio!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> So it seems to me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Demea.</span> Well, well;</p>
+<p>Let him, if ’tis your pleasure, waste, destroy.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">19</span>
+<p>And squander; it is no concern of mine.</p>
+<p>If henceforth I e’er say one word&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Again?</p>
+<p>Angry again, good Demea?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Demea.</span> You may trust me.</p>
+<p>Do I demand him back again I gave you?</p>
+<p>&mdash;It hurts me. I am not a stranger to him.</p>
+<p>&mdash;But if I once oppose&mdash;Well, well, I’ve done.</p>
+<p>You wish I should take care of one. I do</p>
+<p>Take special care of him; and he, thank Heav’n,</p>
+<p>Is as I wish he <i>should</i> be: which your ward,</p>
+<p>I warrant, shall find out one time or other.</p>
+<p>I will not say aught worse of him at present.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene split -->
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_I_III" id = "adel_I_III">
+SCENE III.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Micio</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene split">
+
+<p>Though what he says be not entirely true,</p>
+<p>There’s something in it, and it touches me.</p>
+<p>But I dissembled my concern with him,</p>
+<p>Because the nature of the man is such,</p>
+<p>To pacify, I must oppose and thwart him;</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">20</span>
+<p>And even thus I scarce can teach him patience.</p>
+<p>But were I to inflame, or aid his anger,</p>
+<p>I were as great a madman as himself.</p>
+<p>Yet Æschinus, ’tis true, has been to blame.</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>What wench is there but he is her gallant?</p>
+<p>Or tempts her with some gift?&mdash;But lately too</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>What wench is there he has not lov’d? to whom</p>
+<p>He has not made some present&mdash;And but lately</p>
+<p>(Tir’d, I suppose, and sick of wantonness)</p>
+<p>He told me he propos’d to take a wife.</p>
+<p>I hop’d the heyday of the blood was over,</p>
+<p>And was rejoic’d: but his intemperance</p>
+<p>Breaks out afresh.&mdash;Well, be it what it may,</p>
+<p>I’ll find him out; and know it instantly,</p>
+<p>If he is to be met with at the Forum.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">499</span>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">21</span>
+<h4 class = "act"><a name = "adel_II" id = "adel_II">
+ACT THE SECOND.</a></h4>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_II_I" id = "adel_II_I">
+SCENE I.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Æschinus</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Sannio</span>, <span class = "charname">Parmeno</span>, the
+Music-Girl, and a crowd of People.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> Help, help, dear countrymen, for
+Heaven’s sake!</p>
+<p>Assist a miserable, harmless man!</p>
+<p>Help the distress’d!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> (<i>to the Girl</i>). Fear
+nothing: stand just there!</p>
+<p>Why d’ye look back? you’re in no danger. Never,</p>
+<p>While I am by, shall he lay hands upon you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> Aye, but I will, in spite of all
+the world.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Rogue as he is, he’ll scarce do
+any thing</p>
+<p>To make me cudgel him again to-day.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> One word, Sir Æschinus! that you
+may not</p>
+<p>Pretend to ignorance of my profession;</p>
+<p>I’m a procurer.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">22</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> True.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> And in my way</p>
+<p>Of as good faith as any man alive.</p>
+<p>Hereafter, to absolve yourself, you’ll cry,</p>
+<p>That you repent of having wrong’d me thus.</p>
+<p>I sha’n’t care <i>that</i> for your excuse. (<i>Snapping his
+fingers.</i>) Be sure</p>
+<p>I’ll prosecute my right; nor shall fine words</p>
+<p>Atone for evil deeds. I know your way,</p>
+<p>&mdash;“I’m sorry that I did it: and I’ll swear</p>
+<p>You are unworthy of this injury”&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>Though all the while I’m us’d most scurvily.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Par</span>.</i>) Do you go forward, Parmeno, and throw</p>
+<p>The door wide open.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> That sha’n’t signify.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Parmeno</span></i>). Now in with her!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> (<i>stepping between</i>). I’ll not
+allow it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Parmeno</span></i>). Here!</p>
+<p>Come hither, Parmeno!&mdash;you’re too far off.&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>Stand close to that pimp’s side&mdash;There&mdash;there&mdash;just
+there!</p>
+<p>And now be sure you always keep your eyes</p>
+<p>Steadfastly fix’d on mine; and when I wink,</p>
+<p>To drive your fist directly in his face.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> Aye, if he dare.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">23</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Parmeno</span></i>). Now mind!&mdash; (<i>To <span class =
+"charname">Sannio</span></i>). Let go the girl (<i><span class =
+"charname">Sannio</span> still struggling with the Girl, <span class =
+"charname">Æschinus</span> winks, and <span class =
+"charname">Parmeno</span> strikes <span class =
+"charname">Sannio</span></i>).</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> Oh monstrous!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> He shall double it, unless</p>
+<p>You mend your manners.</p>
+
+<p class = "stagedir">
+<span class = "charname">Parmeno</span> strikes <span class =
+"charname">Sannio</span> again.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">500</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> Help, help: murder, murder!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Parmeno</span></i>). I did not wink: but you had better
+err</p>
+<p>That way than t’other.&mdash;Now go in with her.</p>
+
+<p class = "stagedir">
+<span class = "charname">Parmeno</span> leads the Girl into <span class
+= "charname">Micio’s</span> house.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> How’s this?&mdash;Do you reign king
+here, Æschinus?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Did I reign king, you should be
+recompens’d</p>
+<p>According to your virtues, I assure you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> What business have you with me?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> None.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> D’ye know</p>
+<p>Who I am, Æschinus?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Nor want to know.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> Have I touch’d aught of yours,
+Sir?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> If you had,</p>
+<p>You should have suffer’d for’t.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">24</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> What greater right</p>
+<p>Have you to take away my slave, for whom</p>
+<p>I paid my money? answer me!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> ’Twere best</p>
+<p>You’d leave off bellowing before our door:</p>
+<p>If you continue to be troublesome,</p>
+<p>I’ll have you dragg’d into the house, and there</p>
+<p>Lash’d without mercy.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> How, a freeman lash’d!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Ev’n so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> O monstrous tyranny! Is this,</p>
+<p>Is this the liberty they boast of here,</p>
+<p>Common to all?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> If you have brawl’d enough,</p>
+<p>Please to indulge me with one word, you pimp.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> Who has brawl’d most, yourself or
+I?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Well, well!</p>
+<p>No more of that, but to the point!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> What point?</p>
+<p>What would you have?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Will you allow me then</p>
+<p>To speak of what concerns you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> Willingly:</p>
+<p>Speak, but in justice.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Very fine! a pimp,</p>
+<p>And talks of justice!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">25</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> Well, I am a pimp;</p>
+<p>The common bane of youth, a perjurer,</p>
+<p>A public nuisance, I confess it: yet</p>
+<p>I never did you wrong.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> No, that’s to come.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> Prithee return to whence you first
+set out, Sir!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> You, plague upon you for it!
+bought the girl</p>
+<p>For twenty minÊ; which sum we will give you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> What if I do not choose to sell the
+girl?</p>
+<p>Will you oblige me?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">501</span>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">26</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> No.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> I fear’d you would.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> She’s a free-woman, and should
+<i>not</i> be sold,</p>
+<p>And, as such, by due course of law I claim her.</p>
+<p>Now then consider which you like the best,</p>
+<p>To take the money, or maintain your action.</p>
+<p>Think on this, Pimp, till I come back again.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_II_II" id = "adel_II_II">
+SCENE II.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Sannio</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>Oh Jupiter! I do not wonder now</p>
+<p>That men run mad with injuries. He drags me</p>
+<p>Out of my own house; cudgels me most soundly;</p>
+<p>And carries off my slave against my will:</p>
+<p>And after this ill-treatment, he demands</p>
+<p>The Music-Girl to be made over to him</p>
+<p>At the same price I bought her.&mdash;He has pour’d</p>
+<p>His blows upon me, thick as hail; for which,</p>
+<p>Since he deserves so nobly at my hands,</p>
+<p>He should no doubt be gratified.&mdash;Nay, nay,</p>
+<p>Let me but touch the cash, I’m still content.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">27</span>
+<p>But this I guess will be the case: as soon</p>
+<p>As I shall have agreed to take his price,</p>
+<p>He’ll produce witnesses immediately,</p>
+<p>To prove that I have sold her&mdash;And the money</p>
+<p>Will be mere moonshine.&mdash;“By-and-by.”&mdash;“To-morrow.”</p>
+<p>&mdash;Yet I could bear that too, although much wrong,</p>
+<p>Might I but get the money after all:</p>
+<p>For thus it is, friend Sannio; when a man</p>
+<p>Has taken up this trade, he must receive,</p>
+<p>And pocket the affronts of young gallants.</p>
+<p>&mdash;But nobody will pay me, and I draw</p>
+<p>Conclusions to no purpose.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_II_III" id = "adel_II_III">
+SCENE III.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Syrus</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Æsch.</span> within</i>). Say no more!</p>
+<p>Let me alone to talk with him! I warrant</p>
+<p>I’ll make him take the money; aye, and own</p>
+<p>That he’s well treated too. (<i>Coming forward.</i>) Why how now,
+Sannio?</p>
+<p>What’s the dispute I overheard just now</p>
+<p>’Twixt you and my young master?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> Never was</p>
+<p>Any dispute conducted more unfairly,</p>
+<p>Than that between us two to-day! Poor I</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">28</span>
+<p>With being drubb’d, and he with drubbing me,</p>
+<p>’Till we were both quite weary.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">502</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> All your fault.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> What could I do?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Give a young man his way.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> What could I give him more, who
+gave my face?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Nay, but d’ye know my meaning,
+Sannio?</p>
+<p>To seem upon occasion to slight money,</p>
+<p>Proves in the end, sometimes, the greatest gain.</p>
+<p>Why prithee, blockhead, could you be afraid,</p>
+<p>Had you abated somewhat of your right,</p>
+<p>And humor’d the young gentleman, he would not</p>
+<p>Have paid you back again with interest?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> I never purchase hope with ready
+money.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Away! you’ll never thrive. You do
+not know</p>
+<p>How to ensnare men, Sannio.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> Well, perhaps,</p>
+<p>Your way were best: yet I was ne’er so crafty</p>
+<p>But I had rather, when ’twas in my power,</p>
+<p>Receive prompt payment.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Pshaw! I know your spirit:</p>
+<p>As if you valued twenty minÊ now,</p>
+<p>So you might do a kindness to my master!</p>
+<p>&mdash;Besides, they say you’re setting out for Cyprus.
+(<i>Carelessly.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> Ha! (<i>Alarmed.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> &mdash;And have bought up a large
+stock of goods</p>
+<p>To carry over thither.&mdash;Hir’d a vessel.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">29</span>
+<p>That ’tis, I know, which keeps you in suspense:</p>
+<p>When you return, I hope, you’ll settle this.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> I shall not budge a
+foot.&mdash;Undone by Heav’n!</p>
+<p>Urg’d by these hopes they’ve undertaken this. (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "second first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> He fears. I hinted Cyprus.
+There’s the rub.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> He fears. I’ve thrown a small rub
+in his way. (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> (<i>to himself.</i>) Confusion!
+they have nick’d me to a hair!</p>
+<p>I’ve bought up sev’ral slaves, and other wares,</p>
+<p>For exportation; and to miss my time</p>
+<p>At Cyprus-fair would be a heavy loss.</p>
+<p>Then if I leave this business broken thus,</p>
+<p>All’s over with me; and at my return</p>
+<p>’Twill come to nothing, grown quite cold and stale.</p>
+<p>“&mdash;What! come at last?&mdash;Why did you stay so long?</p>
+<p>Where have you been?”&mdash;that it were better lose it,</p>
+<p>Than wait for it so long, or sue for’t then.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus</span> (<i>coming up to him.</i>) Well,
+have you calculated what’s your due?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">30</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> Monstrous oppression! Is this
+honorable,</p>
+<p>Or just in Æschinus, to take away</p>
+<p>My property by force?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> So, so! he comes.
+(<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+<p>&mdash;I have but one word more to say to you.</p>
+<p>See how you like it.&mdash;Rather, Sannio,</p>
+<p>Than run the risk to get or lose the whole,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">503</span>
+<p>E’en halve the matter: and he shall contrive</p>
+<p>To scrape together by some means ten minÊ.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> Alas, alas! am I in danger then</p>
+<p>Of losing ev’n my very principal?</p>
+<p>Shame on him! he has loosen’d all my teeth:</p>
+<p>My head is swell’d all over like a mushroom:</p>
+<p>And will he cheat me too?&mdash;I’m going nowhere.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Just as you please.&mdash;Have
+you aught else to say</p>
+<p>Before I go?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> Yes, one word, prithee Syrus!</p>
+<p>However things have happen’d, rather than</p>
+<p>I should be driven to commence a suit,</p>
+<p>Let him return me my bare due at least;</p>
+<p>The sum she cost me, Syrus.&mdash;I’m convinc’d</p>
+<p>You’ve had no tokens of my friendship yet;</p>
+<p>But you shall find I will not be ungrateful.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">31</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> I’ll do my best. But I see
+Ctesipho.</p>
+<p>He is rejoic’d about his mistress.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> Say,</p>
+<p>Will you remember me?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Hold, hold a little! (<i><span
+class = "charname">Syrus</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Sannio</span> retire.</i>)</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_II_IV" id = "adel_II_IV">
+SCENE IV.</a></h5>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Ctesipho</span> at another part of the
+stage.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ctes.</span> Favors are welcome in the hour of
+need</p>
+<p>From any hand; but doubly welcome when</p>
+<p>Conferr’d by those from whom we most expect them.</p>
+<p>O brother, brother, how shall I applaud thee?</p>
+<p>Ne’er can I rise to such a height of praise</p>
+<p>But your deservings will outtop me still:</p>
+<p>For in this point I am supremely bless’d,</p>
+<p>That none can boast so excellent a brother,</p>
+<p>So rich in all good qualities, as I.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus</span> (<i>coming forward</i>). O
+Ctesipho!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ctes.</span> (<i>turning round</i>). O Syrus!
+where’s my brother?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> At home, where he expects
+you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ctes.</span> Ha! (<i>Joyfully.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> What now!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ctes.</span> What now?&mdash;By his assistance
+I live, Syrus.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">32</span>
+<p>Ah, he’s a friend indeed! who disregarding</p>
+<p>All his own interests for my advantage,</p>
+<p>The scandal, infamy, intrigue, and blame,</p>
+<p>All due to me, has drawn upon himself!</p>
+<p>What could exceed it?&mdash;But who’s there?&mdash;The door</p>
+<p>Creaks on the hinges. (<i>Offering to go off.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Hold! ’tis Æschinus.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">504</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_II_V" id = "adel_II_V">
+SCENE V.</a></h5>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Æschinus</span>.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Where is that rascal?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> (<i>behind.</i>) He inquires for
+me.</p>
+<p>Has he brought out the cash with him?&mdash;Confusion!</p>
+<p>I see none.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Ctesipho</span></i>). Ha! well met: I long’d to see you</p>
+<p>How is it, Ctesipho? All’s safe. Away</p>
+<p>With melancholy!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ctes.</span> Melancholy! I</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">33</span>
+<p>Be melancholy, who have such a brother?</p>
+<p>Oh my dear Æschinus! thou best of brothers,</p>
+<p>&mdash;Ah, I’m asham’d to praise you to your face,</p>
+<p>Lest it appear to come from flattery,</p>
+<p>Rather than gratitude.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Away, you fool!</p>
+<p>As if we did not know each other, Ctesipho.</p>
+<p>It only grieves me, we so lately knew this,</p>
+<p>When things were almost come to such a pass,</p>
+<p>That all the world, had they desir’d to do it,</p>
+<p>Could not assist you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ctes.</span> ’Twas my modesty.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Pshaw! it was folly, and not
+modesty.</p>
+<p>For such a trifle, almost fly your country?</p>
+<p>Heaven forbid it!&mdash;fie, fie, Ctesipho!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ctes.</span> I’ve been to blame.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Well, what says Sannio?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> He’s pacified at last.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> I’ll to the Forum,</p>
+<p>And pay him off.&mdash;You, Ctesipho, go in</p>
+<p>To the poor girl.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">34</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> Now urge the matter, Syrus!
+(<i>Apart to <span class = "charname">Syrus</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Let’s go; for Sannio wants to be
+at Cyprus.</p>
+
+<p class = "second first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> Not in such haste: though truly
+I’ve no cause</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> Not in such haste: though truly I
+have no cause</p>
+<p>To loiter here.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> You shall be paid: ne’er
+fear!</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> But all?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Yes, all: so hold your tongue,
+and follow!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">San.</span> I will.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit after <span class = "charname">Æschinus</span>&mdash;<span class =
+"charname">Syrus</span> going.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ctes.</span> Hist! hark ye, Syrus!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus</span> (<i>turning back.</i>) Well, what
+now?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ctes.</span> For Heaven’s sake discharge that
+scurvy fellow</p>
+<p>Immediately; for fear, if further urg’d,</p>
+<p>This tale should reach my father’s ears: and then</p>
+<p>I am undone forever.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> It sha’n’t be.</p>
+<p>Be of good courage! meanwhile, get you in,</p>
+<p>And entertain yourself with her; and order</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">505</span>
+<p>The couches to be spread, and all prepar’d.</p>
+<p>For, these preliminaries once dispatch’d,</p>
+<p>I shall march homeward with provisions.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ctes.</span> Do!</p>
+<p>And since this business has turn’d out so well,</p>
+<p>Let’s spend the day in mirth and jollity!</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exeunt severally.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">35</span>
+<h4 class = "act"><a name = "adel_III" id = "adel_III">
+ACT THE THIRD.</a></h4>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_III_I" id = "adel_III_I">
+SCENE I.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Sostrata</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Canthara</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sos.</span> Prithee, good nurse, how will it go
+with her?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Can.</span> How go with her? Why well, I
+warrant you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sos.</span> Her pains begin to come upon her,
+nurse.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Can.</span> You’re as much frighten’d at your
+time of day,</p>
+<p>As if you ne’er was present at a labor,</p>
+<p>Or never had been brought to bed yourself.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sos.</span> Alas, I’ve no soul here: we’re all
+alone.</p>
+<p>Geta is absent; nor is there a creature</p>
+<p>To fetch a midwife, or call Æschinus.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Can.</span> He’ll be here presently, I promise
+you:</p>
+<p>For he, good man, ne’er lets a single day</p>
+<p>Go by, but he is sure to visit us.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sos.</span> He is my only comfort in my
+sorrows.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Can.</span> Troth, as the case stands, madam,
+circumstances</p>
+<p>Could not have happen’d better than they have:</p>
+<p>And since your daughter suffer’d violence,</p>
+<p>’Twas well she met with such a man as this;</p>
+<p>A man of honor, rank, and family.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sos.</span> He is, indeed, a worthy
+gentleman:</p>
+<p>The gods preserve him to us!</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">36</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_III_II" id = "adel_III_II">
+SCENE II.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Geta</span> hastily at another part of
+the stage.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> We are now</p>
+<p>So absolutely lost, that all the world</p>
+<p>Joining in consultation to apply</p>
+<p>Relief to the misfortune that has fallen</p>
+<p>On me, my mistress, and her daughter, all</p>
+<p>Would not avail.&mdash;Ah me! so many troubles</p>
+<p>Environ us at once, we sink beneath them.</p>
+<p>Rape, poverty, oppression, solitude,</p>
+<p>And infamy! oh, what an age is this!</p>
+<p>O wicked, oh vile race!&mdash;oh impious man!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">506</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sos.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Canthara</span></i>). Ah, why should Geta seem thus
+terrified</p>
+<p>And agitated?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta</span> (<i>to himself.</i>) Wretch! whom
+neither honor,</p>
+<p>Nor oaths, nor pity could control or move!</p>
+<p>Nor her approaching labor; her, on whom</p>
+<p>He shamefully committed violation!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sos.</span> I don’t well understand him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Can.</span> Prithee then</p>
+<p>Let us draw nearer, Sostrata!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta</span> (<i>to himself.</i>) Alas,</p>
+<p>I’m scarcely in my perfect mind, I burn</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">37</span>
+<p>With such fierce anger.&mdash;Oh, that I had all</p>
+<p>That villain-family before me now,</p>
+<p>That I might vent my indignation on them,</p>
+<p>While yet it boils within me.&mdash;There is nothing</p>
+<p>I’d not endure to be reveng’d on them.</p>
+<p>First I’d tread out the stinking snuff his father,</p>
+<p>Who gave the monster being.&mdash;And then, Syrus,</p>
+<p>Who urg’d him to it,&mdash;how I’d tear him!&mdash;First</p>
+<p>I’d seize him round the waist, and lift him high,</p>
+<p>Then dash his head against the ground, and strew</p>
+<p>The pavement with his brains.&mdash;For Æschinus,</p>
+<p>I’d tear his eyes out, and then tumble him,</p>
+<p>Head foremost down some precipice.&mdash;The rest</p>
+<p>I’d rush on, drag, crush, trample under foot.</p>
+<p>But why do I delay to tell my mistress</p>
+<p>This heavy news as soon as possible! (<i>Going.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sos.</span> Let’s call him back.&mdash;Ho,
+Geta!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Whosoe’er</p>
+<p>You are, excuse me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sos.</span> I am Sostrata.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Where, where is Sostrata?
+(<i>Turns about.</i>) I sought you, Madam;</p>
+<p>Impatiently I sought you: and am glad</p>
+<p>To have encounter’d you thus readily.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">38</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sos.</span> What is the matter? why d’ye
+tremble thus?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Alas!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sos.</span> Take breath!&mdash;But why thus
+mov’d, good Geta?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> We’re quite&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sos.</span> Quite what?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Undone: We’re ruin’d, Madam.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sos.</span> Explain, for Heaven’s sake!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Ev’n now&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sos.</span> What now?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Æschinus&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sos.</span> What of Æschinus?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Has quite</p>
+<p>Estrang’d himself from all our family.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sos.</span> How’s that? confusion! why?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> He loves another.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">507</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sos.</span> Wretch that I am!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Nor that clandestinely;</p>
+<p>But snatch’d her in the face of all the world</p>
+<p>From a procurer.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sos.</span> Are you sure of this?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Sure? With these very eyes I saw
+it, Madam.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sos.</span> Alas, alas! What then can we
+believe?</p>
+<p>To whom give credit?&mdash;What? our Æschinus!</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">39</span>
+<p>Our very life, our sole support and hope!</p>
+<p>Who swore he could not live one day without her,</p>
+<p>And promis’d he would place the new-born babe</p>
+<p>Upon his father’s lap, and in that way</p>
+<p>Wring from him his consent to marry her!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Nay, weep not, mistress; but
+consider rather</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">40</span>
+<p>What course were best to follow: to conceal</p>
+<p>This wrong, or to disclose it to some friend?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Can.</span> Disclose it! Are you mad? Is this a
+thing</p>
+<p>To be disclos’d, d’ye think?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> I’d not advise it.</p>
+<p>For first, that he has quite abandon’d us,</p>
+<p>The thing itself declares. If we then make</p>
+<p>The story known, no doubt but he’ll deny it.</p>
+<p>Your reputation, and your daughter’s life</p>
+<p>Will be endanger’d: or if he confess,</p>
+<p>Since he affects another, ’twere not good</p>
+<p>That he should wed your daughter.&mdash;For which reasons,</p>
+<p>Silence is requisite.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sos.</span> Ah, no: not I.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> What mean you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sos.</span> To disclose the whole.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> How, Madam!</p>
+<p>Think what you are about.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sos.</span> Whatever happens,</p>
+<p>The thing can’t be in a worse state than now.</p>
+<p>In the first place my daughter has no portion,</p>
+<p>And that which should have been her second dowry</p>
+<p>Is also lost; and she can ne’er be giv’n</p>
+<p>In marriage as a virgin. For the rest,</p>
+<p>If he denies his former commerce with her,</p>
+<p>I have the ring he lost to vouch the fact.</p>
+<p>In short, since I am conscious to myself.</p>
+<p>That I am not to blame in this proceeding,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">41</span>
+<p>And that no sordid love of gain, nor aught</p>
+<p>Unworthy of my daughter or myself,</p>
+<p>Has mix’d in this affair, I’ll try it, Geta.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Well, I agree, ’twere better to
+disclose it.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">42</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sos.</span> You then away, as fast as
+possible,</p>
+<p>And run to Hegio our good friend and kinsman,</p>
+<p>To let him know the whole affair: for he</p>
+<p>Was the chief friend of my dear Simulus,</p>
+<p>And ever show’d a great regard for us.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">508</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> And well he does, for no one else
+cares for us.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sos.</span> And you, good Canthara, away with
+haste,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">43</span>
+<p>And call a midwife; that we may be sure</p>
+<p>Of her assistance in the time of need.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exeunt severally.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_III_III" id = "adel_III_III">
+SCENE III.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Demea</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Confusion! I have heard that
+Ctesipho</p>
+<p>Was present with his brother at this riot.</p>
+<p>This is the sum of all my miseries,</p>
+<p>If he, even he, a sober, hopeful lad,</p>
+<p>May be seduc’d into debaucheries.</p>
+<p>&mdash;But where shall I inquire for him? I warrant</p>
+<p>They have decoy’d him into some vile brothel.</p>
+<p>That profligate persuaded him, I’m sure.</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>&mdash;But here comes Syrus.&mdash;I shall know from him</p>
+<p>What is become of Ctesipho.&mdash;And yet</p>
+<p>This rascal’s of the gang; and if he once</p>
+<p>Perceives that I’m enquiring after him,</p>
+<p>He’ll never tell, a villain!&mdash;I’ll take care</p>
+<p>To cover my design.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>&mdash;But here comes Syrus; he can tell me all.</p>
+<p>And yet this slave is of the gang; and if</p>
+<p>He once perceives that I’m inquiring for him,</p>
+<p>He’ll never tell me any thing; a rogue!</p>
+<p>I’ll not discover my design.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">44</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_III_IV" id = "adel_III_IV">
+SCENE IV.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Syrus</span> at another part of the
+stage.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene split">
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus</span> We’ve just disclos’d</p>
+<p>The whole of this affair to Micio,</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus</span> (<i>to himself</i>). We’ve
+just</p>
+<p>Disclos’d the whole of this affair to Micio,</p>
+
+<p>Exactly as it happen’d. I ne’er saw</p>
+<p>The good old gentleman more pleas’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Oh Heav’n,</p>
+<p>The folly of the man! (<i>Listening.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus</span> (<i>to himself</i>). He prais’d
+his son;</p>
+<p>Me, who concerted the whole scheme, he thank’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I burst with rage.
+(<i>Listening.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus</span> (<i>to himself</i>). He told the
+money down</p>
+<p>Immediately, and threw us in beside,</p>
+<p>To make an entertainment, a half-mina:</p>
+<p>Which I’ve laid out according to my liking.</p>
+
+<p class = "second first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> So! if you’d have your business
+well discharg’d,</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> So! if you’d have your business
+well ta’en care of,</p>
+<p>Commit it to this fellow!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus</span> (<i>overhearing</i>). Who’s there?
+Demea!</p>
+<p>I did not see you, Sir. How goes it?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> How?</p>
+<p>I can’t sufficiently admire your conduct.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus</span> (<i>negligently</i>). Silly
+enough, to say the truth, and idle.</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>Here! Hark ye, Dromo! see you gut and scale</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">45</span>
+<p>The other fish immediately: But let</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>(<i>To servants within</i>). Cleanse you the rest of those fish,
+Dromo: let</p>
+<p>That large eel play a little in the water.</p>
+<p>When I return it shall be bon’d; till then</p>
+<p>It must not be.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">509</span>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Are crimes like
+these&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Demea</span></i>). Indeed</p>
+<p>I like them not, and oft cry shame upon them.</p>
+<p>&mdash;(<i>To servants within.</i>) See that those salt fish are well
+soak’d, Stephanio.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Gods! is this done on purpose? Does
+he think</p>
+<p>’Tis laudable to spoil his son? Alas!</p>
+<p>I think I see the day when Æschinus</p>
+<p>Shall fly for want, and list himself a soldier.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> O Demea! that is to be wise: to
+see,</p>
+<p>Not that alone which lies before your feet,</p>
+<p>But ev’n to pry into futurity.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> What! is the Music-Girl at your
+house?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Aye,</p>
+<p>Madam’s within.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> What! and is Æschinus</p>
+<p>To keep her at home with him?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> I believe so;</p>
+<p>Such is their madness.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Is it possible?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> A fond and foolish father!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I’m asham’d</p>
+<p>To own my brother; I’m griev’d for him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Ah!</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">46</span>
+<p>There is a deal of diff’rence, Demea,</p>
+<p>&mdash;Nor is’t because you’re present that I say
+this&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>There is a mighty difference between you!</p>
+<p>You are, from top to toe, all over wisdom:</p>
+<p>He a mere dotard.&mdash;Would you e’er permit</p>
+<p>Your boy to do such things?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Permit him? I?</p>
+<p>Or should I not much rather smell him out</p>
+<p>Six months before he did but dream of it?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Pshaw! do you boast your
+vigilance to me?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Heav’n keep him ever as he is at
+present!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> As fathers <ins class =
+"correction second" title = "Harper edition reads ‘from’">form</ins>
+their children, so they prove.</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> But, prithee, have you seen the lad
+to-day?</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> But now we’re speaking of him, have
+you seen</p>
+<p>The lad to-day? (<i>With an affected carelessness.</i>)</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span>Your son, d’ye mean?&mdash;I’ll
+drive him out of town.</p>
+<p>He’s hard at work upon your grounds by this time.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Ay? Are you sure he’s gone into the
+country?</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Your son d’ye mean?&mdash;I’ll
+drive him</p>
+<p>Into the country. (<i>Aside.</i>)&mdash;He is hard at work</p>
+<p>Upon your grounds by this time. (<i>To <span class =
+"charname">Demea</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Are you sure on’t?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Sure? I set out with him
+myself.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Good! good!</p>
+<p>I was afraid he loiter’d here. (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> And much</p>
+<p>Enrag’d, I promise you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> On what account?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> A quarrel with his brother at the
+Forum,</p>
+<p>About the Music-Girl.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">47</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Indeed?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">510</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Aye, faith:</p>
+<p>He did not mince the matter: he spoke out;</p>
+<p>For as the cash was telling down, in pops,</p>
+<p>All unexpected, Master Ctesipho:</p>
+<p>Cries out&mdash;“Oh Æschinus, are these your courses?</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>These your persuits? enormities like these?</p>
+<p>Oh shame! oh scandal to our family!”</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>Do you commit these crimes? and do you bring</p>
+<p>Such a disgrace upon our family?”</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Oh, oh, I weep for joy.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> &mdash;&mdash;“You squander
+not</p>
+<p>The money only, but your life, your honor.”</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Heav’n bless him; he is like his
+ancestors. (<i>Weeping.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Father’s own son, I warrant
+him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Oh, Syrus!</p>
+<p>He’s full of all those precepts, he!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> No doubt on’t:</p>
+<p>He need not go from home for good instruction.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I spare no pains; neglect no means;
+I train him.</p>
+<p>&mdash;In short, I bid him look into the lives</p>
+<p>Of all, as in a mirror, and thence draw</p>
+<p>From others an example for himself.</p>
+<p>&mdash;“Do this.”&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Good!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> “Fly that.”</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Very good!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> “This deed</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">48</span>
+
+<p class = "second">
+Is highly commendable.”</p>
+
+<p>Is commendable.”</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> That’s the thing!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> “That’s reprehensible.”</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Most excellent!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> “And then
+moreover&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Faith, I have not time</p>
+<p>To give you further audience just at present,</p>
+<p>I’ve got an admirable dish of fish;</p>
+<p>And I must take good care they are not spoil’d.</p>
+<p>For that were an offense as grievous, Demea,</p>
+<p>In us, as ’twere in you to leave undone</p>
+<p>The things you just now mentioned: and I try,</p>
+<p>According to my weak abilities,</p>
+<p>To teach my fellow-slaves the self-same way.</p>
+<p>&mdash;“This is too salt.&mdash;This is burnt up too much.</p>
+<p>That is not nice and cleanly.&mdash;That’s well done.</p>
+<p>Mind, and do so again.”&mdash;I spare no pains,</p>
+<p>And give them the best precepts that I can.</p>
+<p>In short, I bid them look into the dishes,</p>
+<p>As in a mirror, Demea, and thence learn</p>
+<p>The duty of a cook.&mdash;This school of ours,</p>
+<p>I own, is idle: but what can you do?</p>
+<p>According to the man must be the lesson.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Would you aught else with us?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Your reformation.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Do you go hence into the
+country?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">511</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Straight.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">49</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> For what should you do here,
+where nobody,</p>
+<p>However good your precepts, cares to mind them?</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene -->
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_III_V" id = "adel_III_V">
+SCENE V.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Demea</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>I then will hence, since he, on whose account</p>
+<p>I hither came, is gone into the country.</p>
+<p><i>He</i> is my only care, <i>He’s</i> my concern.</p>
+<p>My brother, since he needs will have it so,</p>
+<p>May look to Æschinus himself.&mdash;&mdash;But who</p>
+<p>Is coming yonder? Hegio, of our tribe?</p>
+<p>If I see plainly, beyond doubt ’tis he.</p>
+<p>Ah, we’ve been old acquaintance quite from boys;</p>
+<p>And such men nowadays are wondrous scarce.</p>
+<p>A citizen of ancient faith and virtue!</p>
+<p>The commonwealth will ne’er reap harm from him.</p>
+<p>How I rejoice to see but the remains</p>
+<p>Of this old stock! Ah, life’s a pleasure now.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">50</span>
+<p>I’ll wait, that I may ask about his health,</p>
+<p>And have a little conversation with him.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_III_VI" id = "adel_III_VI">
+SCENE VI.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Hegio</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Geta</span> conversing at a distance.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+<div class = "split">
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>
+<span class = "charname">Hegio.</span> Can it be true?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Ev’n so.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Hegio.</span> Good Heaven! a most unworthy
+action, Geta!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Ev’n so.</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Hegio.</span> A deed so base</p>
+<p>Sprung from that family?&mdash;Oh Æschinus,</p>
+<p>This was not acting like your father.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> (<i>behind.</i>) So!</p>
+<p>He has just heard about this Musick-Girl,</p>
+<p>And is affected at it, though a stranger,</p>
+<p>While his good father truly thinks it nothing.</p>
+<p>Oh monstrous! would that he were somewhere nigh,</p>
+<p>And heard all this!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Hegio.</span> Unless they do you justice</p>
+<p>They shall not carry off the matter thus.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Hegio.</span> A deed so base</p>
+<p>Sprung from that family?&mdash;Oh Æschinus,</p>
+<p>I’m sure this was not acting like your father.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> (<i>behind.</i>) So! he has heard
+about this Music-Girl,</p>
+<p>And is affected at it, though a stranger,</p>
+<p>While his good father truly thinks it nothing.</p>
+<p>Oh monstrous! would that he were somewhere nigh,</p>
+<p>And heard all this!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Hegio.</span> Unless they do what’s just,</p>
+<p>They shall not carry off the matter thus.</p>
+
+<p class = "allclear">&nbsp;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Our only hope is in you,
+Hegio.</p>
+<p>You’re our sole friend, our guardian, and our father,</p>
+
+<p class = "second">
+On his death-bed, the good old Simulus</p>
+
+<p>The good old Simulus, on his death-bed</p>
+<p>Bequeath’d us to your care. If you desert us,</p>
+<p>We are undone indeed.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Hegio.</span> Ah, name it not!</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">51</span>
+<p>I will not, and with honesty, I can not.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I’ll go up to him.&mdash;Save you,
+Hegio!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Hegio.</span> The man I look’d for.&mdash;Save
+you, Demea!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Your pleasure!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Hegio.</span> Æschinus, your elder son,</p>
+
+<p class = "second">
+Your brother’s by adoption, has committed</p>
+
+<p>Adopted by your brother, has committed</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">512</span>
+<p>A deed unworthy of an honest man,</p>
+<p>And of a gentleman.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> How so?</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div split -->
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Hegio.</span> You knew</p>
+<p>Our friend and good acquaintance, Simulus?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Aye, sure.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Hegio.</span> He has debauch’d his
+daughter.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> How!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Hegio.</span> Hold, Demea, for the worst is
+still to come.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Is there aught worse?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Hegio.</span> Much worse: for this perhaps</p>
+<p>Might be excus’d. The night, love, wine, and youth,</p>
+<p>Might prompt him. ’Tis the frailty of our nature.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Soon as his sense returning made him conscious</p>
+<p>Of his rash outrage, of his own accord</p>
+<p>He came to the girl’s mother, weeping, praying.</p>
+<p>Entreating, vowing constancy, and swearing</p>
+<p>That he would take her home.&mdash;He was forgiven;</p>
+<p>The thing conceal’d; and his vows credited.</p>
+<p>The girl from that encounter prov’d with child:</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">52</span>
+<p>This is the tenth month.&mdash;He, good gentleman,</p>
+<p>Has got a music-girl, Heav’n bless the mark!</p>
+<p>With whom he means to live, and quit the other.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> And are you well assur’d of
+this?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Hegio.</span> The mother,</p>
+<p>The girl, the fact itself, are all before you,</p>
+<p>Joining to vouch the truth on’t. And besides,</p>
+<p>This Geta here&mdash;as servants go, no bad one,</p>
+<p>Nor given up to idleness&mdash;maintains them;</p>
+<p>The sole support of all the family.</p>
+<p>Here take him, bind him, force the truth from him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Aye, torture me, if ’tis not so,
+good Demea!</p>
+<p>Nay, Æschinus, I’m sure, will not deny it.</p>
+<p>Bring me before him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> (<i>aside</i>). I’m asham’d: and
+what</p>
+<p>To do, or what to say to him, I know not.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pamphila</span> (<i>within</i>). Ah me! I’m
+torn in pieces!&mdash;Racking pains!</p>
+<p>Juno Lucina, help me! save, I pray thee!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Hegio.</span> Ha! Is she then in labor, <ins
+class = "correction second" title =
+"Harper edition italicizes name">Geta</ins>?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">53</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Yes, Sir.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Hegio.</span> Hark! she now calls upon your
+justice, Demea!</p>
+<p>Grant her then freely, what law else will claim.</p>
+<p>And Heaven send, that you may rather do</p>
+<p>What honor bids! but if you mean it not,</p>
+<p>Be sure of this; that with my utmost force</p>
+<p>I’ll vindicate the girl, and her dead father;</p>
+<p>He was my kinsman; we were bred together</p>
+<p>From children; and our fortunes twin’d together</p>
+<p>In war, and peace, and bitter poverty.</p>
+<p>Wherefore I’ll try, endeavor, strive, nay lose</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">513</span>
+<p>My life itself, before I will forsake them.</p>
+<p>&mdash;What is your answer?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I’ll find out my brother:</p>
+<p>What he advises, I will follow, Hegio.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Hegio.</span> But still remember, Demea, that
+the more</p>
+<p>You live at ease; the more your pow’r, your wealth,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">54</span>
+<p>Your riches, and nobility; the more</p>
+<p>It is your duty to act honorably,</p>
+<p>If you regard the name of honest men.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Go to: we’ll do you justice.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Hegio.</span> ’Twill become you.</p>
+<p>Geta, conduct me in to Sostrata.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit with <span class = "charname">Geta</span>.</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene -->
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_III_VII" id = "adel_III_VII">
+SCENE VII.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Demea</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>This is no more than I foretold: and well</p>
+<p>If his intemp’rance would stop <i>here!</i>&mdash;But this</p>
+<p>Immoderate indulgence must produce</p>
+<p>Some terrible misfortune in the end.</p>
+<p>&mdash;I’ll hence, find out my brother, tell my news,</p>
+<p>And empty all my indignation on him.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_III_VIII" id = "adel_III_VIII">
+SCENE VIII.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Re-enter <span class = "charname">Hegio</span>, speaking to <span class
+= "charname">Sostrata</span> at the door.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>Be of good cheer, my Sostrata; and comfort,</p>
+<p>As much as in your pow’r, poor Pamphila!</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">55</span>
+<p>I’ll find out Micio, if he’s at the Forum,</p>
+<p>And tell him the whole story: if he’ll act</p>
+<p>With honor in it, why ’tis well; if not,</p>
+<p>Let him but speak his mind to me, and then</p>
+<p>I shall know how to act accordingly.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">56</span>
+<h4 class = "act"><a name = "adel_IV" id = "adel_IV">
+ACT THE FOURTH.</a></h4>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_IV_I" id = "adel_IV_I">
+SCENE I.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Ctesipho</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Syrus</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ctes.</span> My father gone into the country,
+say you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Long since.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ctes.</span> Nay; speak the truth!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> He’s at his farm,</p>
+<p>And hard at work, I warrant you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ctes.</span> I wish,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">514</span>
+<p>So that his health were not the worse for it,</p>
+<p>He might so heartily fatigue himself,</p>
+<p>As to be forc’d to keep his bed these three days!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> I wish so too; and more, if
+possible.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ctes.</span> With all my heart: for I would
+fain consume,</p>
+<p>As I’ve begun, the livelong day in pleasure.</p>
+<p>Nor do I hate that farm of ours so much</p>
+<p>For any thing, as that it is so near.</p>
+<p>For if ’twas at a greater distance, night</p>
+<p>Would come upon him ere he could return.</p>
+<p>But now, not finding me, I’m very sure</p>
+<p>He’ll hobble back again immediately;</p>
+<p>Question me where I’ve been, that I’ve not seen him</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">57</span>
+<p>All the day long; and what shall I reply?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> What? can you think of
+nothing?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ctes.</span> No, not I.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> So much the worse.&mdash;Have you
+no client, friend,</p>
+<p>Or guest?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ctes.</span> I have. What then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> You’ve been engag’d</p>
+<p>With them.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ctes.</span> When not engag’d? It can not
+be.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> It may.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ctes.</span> Aye, marry, for the day I grant
+you.</p>
+<p>But if I pass the night here, what excuse</p>
+<p>Then, Syrus?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Ah! I would it were the
+custom</p>
+<p>To be engag’d at night too with one’s friends!</p>
+<p>&mdash;But be at ease! I know his mind so well,</p>
+<p>That when he raves the loudest, I can make him</p>
+<p>As gentle as a lamb.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ctes.</span> How so?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> He loves</p>
+<p>To hear you prais’d. I sing your praises to him,</p>
+<p>And make you out a little God.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ctes.</span> Me!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> You.</p>
+<p>And then the old man blubbers like a child,</p>
+<p>For very joy.&mdash;But have a care! (<i>Looking out.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ctes.</span> What now?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">58</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> The wolf i’ th’ fable!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ctes.</span> What, my father?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> He.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ctes.</span> What’s the best, Syrus?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> In! fly! I’ll take care.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ctes.</span> You have not seen me, if he asks:
+d’ye hear?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Can’t you be quiet? (<i>Pushes
+out <span class = "charname">Ctesipho</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">515</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_IV_II" id = "adel_IV_II">
+SCENE II.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Demea</span> at another part of the
+stage.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Verily I am</p>
+<p>A most unhappy man! for first of all,</p>
+<p>I can not find my brother any where:</p>
+<p>And then besides, in looking after him,</p>
+<p>I chanc’d on one of my day laborers,</p>
+<p>Who had but newly left my farm, and told me</p>
+<p>Ctesipho was not there. What shall I do?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">59</span>
+
+<table class = "bracket" summary = "bracketed text">
+<tr>
+<td>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ctes.</span> (<i>peeping out.</i>) Syrus?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> What?</p>
+</td>
+<td class = "bracket two">&nbsp;</td>
+<td class = "bracket tall" rowspan = "3">
+(<i>Apart.</i>)
+</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ctes.</span> Does he seek me?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Yes.</p>
+</td>
+<td class = "bracket two">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ctes.</span> Undone!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Courage!</p>
+</td>
+<td class = "bracket two">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+</table>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> (<i>to himself</i>). Plague on it,
+what ill luck is this?</p>
+<p>I can’t account for it: but I believe</p>
+<p>That I was born for nothing but misfortunes.</p>
+<p>I am the first who feels our woes; the first</p>
+<p>Who knows of them; the first who tells the news:</p>
+<p>And come what may, I bear the weight alone.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus</span> (<i>behind</i>). Ridiculous! he
+says he knows all first;</p>
+<p>And he alone is ignorant of all.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I’m now return’d to see if
+Micio</p>
+<p>Be yet come home again.</p>
+
+<table class = "bracket" summary = "bracketed text">
+<tr>
+<td>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ctes.</span> (<i>peeping out</i>). Take care,
+good Syrus,</p>
+<p>He don’t rush in upon us unawares!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Peace! I’ll take care.</p>
+</td>
+<td class = "bracket three">&nbsp;</td>
+<td class = "bracket tall" rowspan = "2">
+(<i>Apart.</i>)
+</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ctes.</span> ’Faith, I’ll not trust to you,</p>
+<p>But shut myself and her in some by-place</p>
+<p>Together: that’s the safest.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Well, away! (<i><span class =
+"charname">Ctesipho</span> disappears.</i>)</p>
+<p>I’ll drive the old man hence, I warrant you.</p>
+</td>
+<td class = "bracket tall">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+</table>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> (<i>seeing <span class =
+"charname">Syrus</span></i>). But see that rascal Syrus coming
+hither!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">60</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus</span> (<i>advancing hastily, and
+pretending not to see <span class = "charname">Demea</span></i>).</p>
+<p>By Hercules, there is no living here,</p>
+<p>For any one, at this rate.&mdash;I’d fain know</p>
+<p>How many masters I’m to have.&mdash;Oh monstrous!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> What does he howl for? what’s the
+meaning on’t?</p>
+<p>Hark ye, my good Sir! prithee tell me if</p>
+<p>My brother be at home.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> <i>My good Sir!</i> Plague!</p>
+<p>Why do you come with your <i>good Sirs</i> to me?</p>
+<p>I’m half-kill’d.
+</p>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> What’s the matter?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> What’s the matter!</p>
+<p>Ctesipho, vengeance on him, fell upon me,</p>
+<p>And cudgel’d me and the poor Music-Girl</p>
+<p>Almost to death.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">516</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Indeed?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Indeed. Nay see</p>
+<p>How he has cut my lip. (<i>Pretending to show it.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> On what account?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> The girl, he says, was bought by
+my advice.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Did not you say you saw him out of
+town</p>
+<p>A little while ago?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> And so I did.</p>
+<p>But he came back soon after, like a madman.</p>
+<p>He had no mercy.&mdash;Was not he asham’d</p>
+<p>To beat a poor old fellow? to beat me;</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">61</span>
+<p>Who bore him in my arms but t’other day,</p>
+<p>An urchin thus high? (<i>Showing.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Oh rare, Ctesipho!</p>
+<p>Father’s own son! a man, I warrant him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Oh rare, d’ye cry? I’ faith, if
+he is wise,</p>
+<p>He’ll hold his hands another time.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Oh brave!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Oh mighty brave,
+indeed!&mdash;Because he beat</p>
+<p>A helpless girl, and me a wretched slave,</p>
+<p>Who durst not strike again;&mdash;oh, to be sure,</p>
+<p>Mighty brave, truly!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Oh, most exquisite!</p>
+<p>My Ctesipho perceived, as well as I,</p>
+<p>That you was the contriver of this business.</p>
+<p>&mdash;But is my brother here?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Not he. (<i>Sulkily.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I’m thinking</p>
+<p>Where I shall seek him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> I know where he is:</p>
+<p>But I’ll not tell.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> How, Sirrah?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Even so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I’ll break your head.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> I can not tell the name</p>
+<p>Of him he’s gone to, but I know the place.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Well, where’s the place?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> D’ye know the Portico</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">62</span>
+<p>Just by the market, down this way? (<i>Pointing.</i>)</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I do.</p>
+
+<p class = "second first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Go straight along that street:
+and at the end</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Go up that street; keep straight
+along: and then</p>
+<p>You’ll see a hill; go straight down that: and then</p>
+<p>On this hand, there’s a chapel; and just by</p>
+<p>A narrow lane. (<i>Pointing.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Where? (<i>Looking.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> There; by the great wild
+fig-tree.</p>
+<p>D’ye know it, Sir?</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I do.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Go through that lane.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> That lane’s no thoroughfare.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Aye, very true:</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">517</span>
+<p>No more it is, Sir.&mdash;What a fool I am!</p>
+<p>I was mistaken&mdash;You must go quite back</p>
+<p>Into the portico; and after all,</p>
+<p>This is the nearest and the safest way.</p>
+<p>&mdash;D’ye know Cratinus’ house? the rich man?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Aye.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> When you’ve pass’d that, turn
+short upon the left.</p>
+<p>Keep straight along that street, and when you reach</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">63</span>
+<p>Diana’s Temple, turn upon the right.</p>
+<p>And then, on this side of the city gate,</p>
+<p>Just by the pond, there is a baker’s shop,</p>
+<p>And opposite a joiner’s.&mdash;There he is.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> What business has he there?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> He has bespoke</p>
+<p>Some tables to be made with oaken legs</p>
+<p>To stand the sun.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> For you to drink upon.</p>
+<p>Oh brave! But I lose time. I’ll after him.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit hastily.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_IV_III" id = "adel_IV_III">
+SCENE III.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>Aye, go your ways! I’ll work your old shrunk shanks</p>
+<p>As you deserve, old Drybones!&mdash;Æschinus</p>
+<p>Loiters intolerably. Dinner’s spoil’d.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">64</span>
+<p>Ctesipho thinks of nothing but his girl.</p>
+<p>’Tis time for me to look to myself too.</p>
+<p>Faith, then I’ll in immediately; pick out</p>
+<p>All the tid-bits, and tossing off my cups,</p>
+<p>In lazy leisure lengthen out the day.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_IV_IV" id = "adel_IV_IV">
+SCENE IV.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Micio</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Hegio</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> I can see nothing in this matter,
+Hegio,</p>
+<p>Wherein I merit so much commendation.</p>
+<p>’Tis but my duty, to redress the wrongs</p>
+<p>That we have caus’d: unless perhaps you took me</p>
+<p>For one of those who, having injur’d you,</p>
+<p>Term fair expostulation an affront;</p>
+<p>And having first offended, are the first</p>
+<p>To turn accusers.&mdash;I’ve not acted thus:</p>
+<p>And is’t for this that I am thank’d?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Hegio.</span> Ah, no;</p>
+<p>I never thought you other than you are.</p>
+<p>But let me beg you, Micio, go with me</p>
+<p>To the young woman’s mother, and repeat</p>
+<p>Yourself to her what you have just told me:</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">518</span>
+<p>&mdash;That the suspicion, fall’n on Æschinus,</p>
+<p>Sprung from his brother and the Music-Girl.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> If you believe I ought, or think
+it needful,</p>
+<p>Let’s go!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">65</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Hegio.</span> ’Tis very kind in you: for
+thus</p>
+<p>You’ll raise her spirit drooping with the load</p>
+<p>Of grief and misery, and have perform’d</p>
+<p>Ev’ry good office of benevolence.</p>
+<p>But if you like it not, I’ll go myself,</p>
+<p>And tell her the whole story.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> No, I’ll go.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Hegio.</span> ’Tis good and tender in your
+nature, Micio.</p>
+<p>For they, whose fortunes are less prosperous,</p>
+<p>Are all I know not how, the more suspicious;</p>
+<p>And think themselves neglected and contemn’d,</p>
+<p>Because of their distress and poverty.</p>
+<p>Wherefore I think ’twould satisfy them more</p>
+<p>If you would clear up this affair yourself.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> What you have said is just, and
+very true.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Hegio.</span> Let me conduct you in!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> With all my heart.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exeunt.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">66</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_IV_V" id = "adel_IV_V">
+SCENE V.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Æschinus</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>Oh torture to my mind! that this misfortune</p>
+<p>Should come thus unexpectedly upon me!</p>
+<p>I know not what to do, which way to turn.</p>
+<p>Fear shakes my limbs, amazement fills my soul,</p>
+<p>And in my breast despair shuts out all counsel.</p>
+<p>Ah, by what means can I acquit myself?</p>
+<p>Such a suspicion is now fallen on me;</p>
+<p>And that too grounded on appearances.</p>
+<p>Sostrata thinks that on my own account</p>
+<p>I bought the Music-Girl. That’s plain enough</p>
+<p>From the old nurse. For meeting her by chance,</p>
+<p>As she was sent from hence to call a midwife,</p>
+<p>I ran, and ask’d her of my Pamphila.</p>
+<p>&mdash;“Is she in labor? are you going now</p>
+<p>To call a midwife?”&mdash;“Go, go, Æschinus!</p>
+<p>Away, you have deceiv’d us long enough,</p>
+<p>Fool’d us enough with your fine promises,”</p>
+<p>Cried she.&mdash;“What now?” says I.&mdash;“Farewell, enjoy</p>
+<p>The girl that you’re so taken with!”&mdash;I saw</p>
+<p>Immediately their cause of jealousy:</p>
+<p>Yet I contain’d myself, nor would disclose</p>
+<p>My brother’s business to a tattling gossip,</p>
+<p>By whom the knowledge on’t might be betray’d.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">67</span>
+<p>&mdash;But what shall I do now? shall I confess</p>
+<p>The girl to be my brother’s; an affair</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">519</span>
+<p>Which should by no means be reveal’d?&mdash;But not</p>
+<p>To dwell on that.&mdash;Perhaps they’d not disclose it.</p>
+<p>Nay, I much doubt if they would credit it:</p>
+<p>So many proofs concur against myself.&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>I bore her off: I paid the money down;</p>
+<p>She was brought home to me.&mdash;All this, I own,</p>
+<p>Is my own fault. For should I not have told</p>
+<p>My father, be it as it might, the whole?</p>
+<p>I should, I doubt not, have obtain’d his leave</p>
+<p>To marry Pamphila.&mdash;What indolence,</p>
+<p>Ev’n, till this hour! now, Æschinus, awake!</p>
+<p>&mdash;But first I’ll go and clear myself to them.</p>
+<p>I’ll to the door. (<i>Goes up.</i>) Confusion! how I tremble!</p>
+<p>How guilty like I seem when I approach</p>
+<p>This house! (<i>Knocks.</i>) Holloa! within! ’Tis I;</p>
+<p>’Tis Æschinus. Come, open somebody</p>
+<p>The door immediately!&mdash;Who’s here? A stranger!</p>
+<p>I’ll step aside. (<i>Retires.</i>)
+</p>
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_IV_VI" id = "adel_IV_VI">
+SCENE VI.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Micio</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Sostrata</span>, within</i>). Do as I have told you,
+Sostrata.</p>
+<p>I’ll find out Æschinus, and tell him all.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">68</span>
+<p>&mdash;But who knock’d at the door? (<i>Coming forward.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> (<i>behind</i>). By Heav’n, my
+father!</p>
+<p>Confusion!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio</span> (<i>seeing him</i>). Æschinus!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> What does he here?
+(<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Was’t you that knock’d? What, not
+a word! Suppose</p>
+<p>I banter him a little. He deserves it,</p>
+<p>For never trusting this affair to me. (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+<p>&mdash;Why don’t you speak?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Not I, as I remember.
+(<i>Disordered.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> No, I dare say, not you: for I
+was wond’ring</p>
+<p>What business could have brought you here.&mdash;He blushes.</p>
+<p>All’s safe, I find. (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> (<i>recovering.</i>) But prithee,
+tell me, Sir,</p>
+<p>What brought you here?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> No business of my own.</p>
+<p>But a friend drew me hither from the Forum,</p>
+<p>To be his advocate.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> In what?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> I’ll tell you.</p>
+<p>This house is tenanted by some poor women,</p>
+<p>Whom, I believe, you know not;&mdash;Nay, I’m sure on’t,</p>
+<p>For ’twas but lately they came over hither.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Well?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> A young woman and her mother.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">520</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Well?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">69</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> The father’s dead.&mdash;This
+friend of mine, it seems,</p>
+<p>Being her next relation, by the law</p>
+<p>Is forc’d to marry her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Confusion! (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> How?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Nothing.&mdash;Well?&mdash;pray go
+on, Sir!&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> He’s now come</p>
+<p>To take her home, for he is of Miletus.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> How! take her home with him?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Yes, take her home.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> What, to Miletus?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Aye.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Oh torture! (<i>Aside.</i>)&mdash;
+Well?</p>
+<p>What say the women?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Why, what should they?
+Nothing.</p>
+<p>Indeed the mother has devis’d a tale</p>
+<p>About her daughter’s having had a child</p>
+<p>By some one else, but never mentions whom:</p>
+<p>His claim, she says, is prior; and my friend</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">70</span>
+<p>Ought not to have her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Well? and did not this</p>
+<p>Seem a sufficient reason?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> No.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> No, Sir?</p>
+<p>And shall this next relation take her off?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Aye, to be sure: why not?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Oh barbarous, cruel!</p>
+<p>And to speak plainly, Sir&mdash;ungenerous!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Why so?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Why so, Sir?&mdash;What d’ye
+think</p>
+<p>Will come of him, the poor unhappy youth</p>
+<p>Who was connected with her first&mdash;who still</p>
+<p>Loves her, perhaps, as dearly as his life;&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>When he shall see her torn out of his arms,</p>
+<p>And borne away forever?&mdash;Oh shame, shame!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Where is the shame
+on’t?&mdash;Who betroth’d, who gave her?</p>
+<p>When was she married? and to whom? Where is he,</p>
+<p>And wherefore did he wed another’s right?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Was it for her, a girl of such an
+age,</p>
+<p>To sit at home, expecting till a kinsman</p>
+<p>Came, nobody knows whence, to marry her?</p>
+<p>&mdash;This, Sir, it was your business to have said,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">71</span>
+<p>And to have dwelt on it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Ridiculous!</p>
+<p>Should I have pleaded against him to whom</p>
+<p>I came an advocate?&mdash;But after all,</p>
+<p>What’s this affair to us? or, what have we</p>
+<p>To do with them? let’s go!&mdash;Ha! why those tears?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Father, beseech you, hear me!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">521</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Æschinus,</p>
+<p>I have heard all, and I know all, already:</p>
+<p>For I do love you; wherefore all your actions</p>
+<p>Touch me the more.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> So may you ever love me,</p>
+<p>And so may I deserve your love, my father,</p>
+<p>As I am sorry to have done this fault,</p>
+<p>And am asham’d to see you!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> I believe it;</p>
+<p>For well I know you have a liberal mind:</p>
+<p>But I’m afraid you are too negligent,</p>
+<p>For in what city do you think you live?</p>
+<p>You have abus’d a virgin, whom the law</p>
+<p>Forbade your touching.&mdash;’Twas a fault, a great one;</p>
+<p>But yet a natural failing. Many others,</p>
+<p>Some not bad men, have often done the same.</p>
+<p>&mdash;But after this event, can you pretend</p>
+<p>You took the least precaution? or consider’d</p>
+<p>What should be done, or how?&mdash;If shame forbade</p>
+<p>Your telling me yourself, you should have found</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">72</span>
+<p>Some other means to let me know of it.</p>
+<p>Lost in these doubts, ten months have slipp’d away.</p>
+<p>You have betray’d, as far as in you lay,</p>
+<p>Yourself, the poor young woman, and your child.</p>
+<p>What! did you think the Gods would bring about</p>
+<p>This business in your sleep; and that your wife,</p>
+<p>Without your stir, would be convey’d to you</p>
+<p>Into your bed-chamber?&mdash;I would not have you</p>
+<p>Thus negligent in other matters.&mdash;Come,</p>
+<p>Cheer up, son! you shall wed her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> How!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Cheer up,</p>
+<p>I say!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Nay, prithee, do not mock me,
+father!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Mock you? I? wherefore?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> I don’t know; unless</p>
+<p>That I so much desire it may be true,</p>
+<p>I therefore fear it more.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> &mdash;Away; go home;</p>
+<p>And pray the Gods, that you may call your wife</p>
+<p>Away!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> How’s that? my wife? what!
+now?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Now.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">73</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Now?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Ev’n now, as soon as
+possible.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> May all</p>
+<p>The Gods desert me, Sir, but I do love you,</p>
+<p>More than my eyes<ins class = "correction second" title =
+"Harper edition has question mark">!&nbsp;</ins></p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Than her?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> As well.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> That’s much.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">522</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> But where is that Milesian?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Gone:</p>
+<p>Vanish’d: on board the ship.&mdash;But why d’ye loiter?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Ah, Sir, you rather go, and pray
+the Gods;</p>
+<p>For, being a much better man than I,</p>
+<p>They will the sooner hear your pray’rs.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">74</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> I’ll in,</p>
+<p>To see the needful preparations made.</p>
+<p>You, if you’re wise, do as I said.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_IV_VII" id = "adel_IV_VII">
+SCENE VII.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Æschinus</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene split">
+
+<p>How’s this?</p>
+<p>Is this to be a father? Or is this</p>
+<p>To be a son?&mdash;Were he my friend or brother,</p>
+<p>Could he be more complacent to my wish?</p>
+<p>Should I not love him? bear him in my bosom!</p>
+<p>Ah! his great kindness has so wrought upon me,</p>
+<p>That it shall be the study of my life</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">75</span>
+<p>To shun all follies, lest they give him pain.</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>But wherefore do I loiter here, and thus</p>
+<p>Retard my marriage by my own delay?</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>&mdash;But I’ll in straight, that I may not retard</p>
+<p>My marriage by my own delay.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_IV_VIII" id = "adel_IV_VIII">
+SCENE VIII.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Demea</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene split">
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+I’ve walk’d, and walk’d, till I’m quite tir’d with walking.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Almighty Jove confound you, Syrus, I say;</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+I’m tir’d</p>
+<p>With walking.&mdash;Now great Jove confound you, Syrus;</p>
+<p>You and your blind directions! I have crawl’d</p>
+<p>All the town over: to the gate; the pond;</p>
+<p>Where not? No sign of any shop was there,</p>
+<p>Nor any person who had seen my brother.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">76</span>
+<p>&mdash;Now I’ll in, therefore, and set up my rest</p>
+<p>In his own house, till he comes home again. (<i>Going.</i></p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_IV_IX" id = "adel_IV_IX">
+SCENE IX.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Micio</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> I’ll go and let the women know
+we’re ready.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> But here he is.&mdash;I have long
+sought you, Micio.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> What now?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I bring you more offenses: great
+ones;</p>
+<p>Of that sweet youth&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> See there!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> New; capital!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Nay, nay, no more!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Ah, you don’t
+know&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> I do.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">523</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> O fool, you think I mean the
+Music-Girl.</p>
+<p>This is a rape upon a citizen.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> I know it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> How? d’ye know it, and endure
+it?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Why not endure it?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Tell me, don’t you rave?</p>
+<p>Don’t you go mad?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> No: to be sure I’d
+rather&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> There’s a child born.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Heav’n bless it!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">77</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> And the girl</p>
+<p>Has nothing.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> I have heard so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> And is he</p>
+<p>To marry her without a fortune?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Aye.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> What’s to be done then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> What the case requires.</p>
+<p>The girl shall be brought over here.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Oh Jove!</p>
+<p>Can that be proper?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> What can I do else?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> What can you do!&mdash;If you’re
+not really griev’d,</p>
+<p>It were at least your duty to appear so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> I have contracted the young woman
+to him:</p>
+<p>The thing is settled: ’tis their wedding-day:</p>
+<p>And all their apprehensions I’ve remov’d.</p>
+<p>This is still more my duty.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Are you pleas’d then</p>
+<p>With this adventure, Micio?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Not at all,</p>
+<p>If I could help it: now ’tis past all cure,</p>
+<p>I bear it patiently. The life of man</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">78</span>
+<p>Is like a game at tables. If the cast</p>
+<p>Which is most necessary be not thrown,</p>
+<p>That which chance sends you must correct by art.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Oh rare <i>Corrector!</i>&mdash;By
+your <i>art</i> no less</p>
+<p>Than twenty minÊ have been thrown away</p>
+<p>On yonder Music-wench; who out of hand,</p>
+<p>Must be sent packing; if no buyer, gratis.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Not in the least; nor do I mean
+to sell her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> What will you do, then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Keep her in my house.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Oh Heav’n and earth! a harlot and a
+wife</p>
+<p>In the same house!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Why not?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Have you your wits?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Truly I think so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Now, so help me Heav’n,</p>
+<p>Seeing your folly, I believe you keep her</p>
+<p>To sing with you.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">524</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Why not?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> And the young bride</p>
+<p>Shall be her pupil?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> To be sure.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> And you</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">79</span>
+<p>Dance hand in hand with them?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Aye.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Aye?</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> And you</p>
+<p>Make one among us too upon occasion.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Ah! are you not asham’d on’t?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Patience, Demea!</p>
+<p>Lay by your wrath, and seem, as it becomes you,</p>
+<p>Cheerful and free of heart at your son’s wedding.</p>
+
+<p class = "second">
+&mdash;I’ll go and warn the bride and Sostrata,</p>
+
+<p>&mdash;I’ll but speak with the bride and Sostrata,</p>
+<p>And then return to you immediately.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_IV_X" id = "adel_IV_X">
+SCENE X.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Demea</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>Jove, what a life! what manners! what distraction!</p>
+<p>A bride just coming home without a portion;</p>
+<p>A Music-Girl already there in keeping:</p>
+<p>A house of waste; the youth a libertine;</p>
+<p>Th’ old man a dotard!&mdash;’Tis not in the pow’r</p>
+<p>Of Providence herself, howe’er desirous,</p>
+<p>To save from ruin such a family.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">80</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_IV_XI" id = "adel_IV_XI">
+SCENE XI.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter at a distance <span class = "charname">Syrus</span>, drunk.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> (<i>to himself</i>). Faith,
+little Syrus, you’ve ta’en special care</p>
+<p>Of your sweet self, and play’d your part most rarely.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Well, go your ways:&mdash;but having had my fill</p>
+<p>Of ev’ry thing within, I’ve now march’d forth</p>
+<p>To take a turn or two abroad.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> (<i>behind</i>). Look there!</p>
+<p>A pattern of instruction!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> (<i>seeing him</i>). But see
+there:</p>
+<p>Yonder’s old Demea. (<i>Going up to him.</i>) What’s the matter
+now?</p>
+<p>And why so melancholy?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Oh thou villain!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> What! are you spouting sentences,
+old wisdom?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Were you my
+servant&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> You’d be plaguy rich,</p>
+<p>And settle your affairs most wonderfully.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I’d make you an example.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Why? for what?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">525</span>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">81</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Why, Sirrah?&mdash;In the midst of
+the disturbance,</p>
+<p>And in the heat of a most heavy crime,</p>
+<p>While all is yet confusion, you’ve got drunk,</p>
+<p>As if for joy, you rascal!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Why the plague</p>
+<p>Did not I keep within? (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_IV_XII" id = "adel_IV_XII">
+SCENE XII.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Dromo</span>, hastily.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dromo.</span> Here! hark ye, Syrus!</p>
+<p>Ctesipho begs that you’d come back.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Away! (<i>Pushes him
+off.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> What’s this he says of
+Ctesipho?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Pshaw! nothing.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> How! dog, is Ctesipho within?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Not he.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Why does he name him then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> It is another.</p>
+<p>Of the same name&mdash;a little parasite&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>D’ye know him?
+</p>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> But I will immediately.
+(<i>Going.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> (<i>stopping him</i>). What now?
+where now?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">82</span>
+
+<table class = "bracket" summary = "bracketed text">
+<tr>
+<td>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Let me alone.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Don’t go!</p>
+</td>
+<td class = "bracket two">
+<i>Struggling.</i>
+</td>
+</tr>
+</table>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Hands off! what won’t you? must I
+brain you, rascal?</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Disengages himself from <span class = "charname">Syrus</span>, and
+Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_IV_XIII" id = "adel_IV_XIII">
+SCENE XIII.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>He’s gone&mdash;gone in&mdash;and faith no welcome
+roarer&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>&mdash;Especially to Ctesipho.&mdash;But what</p>
+<p>Can I do now; unless, till this blows over,</p>
+<p>I sneak into some corner, and sleep off</p>
+<p>This wine that lies upon my head?&mdash;I’ll do’t.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit reeling.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_IV_XIV" id = "adel_IV_XIV">
+SCENE XIV.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Micio</span> from <span class =
+"charname">Sostrata</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Sostrata</span> within</i>).</p>
+<p>All is prepar’d: and we are ready, Sostrata,</p>
+<p>As I have already told you, when you please. (<i>Comes
+forward.</i>)</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">83</span>
+<p>But who’s this forces open our street door</p>
+<p>With so much violence?</p>
+
+<p class = "stagedir">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Demea</span> on t’other side.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Confusion! death!</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">526</span>
+<p>What shall I do? or how resolve? where vent</p>
+<p>My cries and exclamations? Heav’n! Earth! Sea!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio</span> (<i>behind.</i>) So! all’s
+discover’d: that’s the thing he raves at.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Now for a quarrel!&mdash;I must help the boy.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> (<i>seeing him.</i>) Oh, there’s
+the grand corrupter of our children!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Appease your wrath, and be
+yourself again!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Well, I’ve appeas’d it; I’m myself
+again;</p>
+<p>I spare reproaches; let us to the point!</p>
+<p>It was agreed between us, and it was</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">84</span>
+<p>Your own proposal too, that you should never</p>
+<p>Concern yourself with Ctesipho, nor I</p>
+<p>With Æschinus. Say, was’t not so?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> It was.</p>
+<p>I don’t deny it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Why does Ctesipho</p>
+<p>Revel with you then? Why do you receive him?</p>
+<p>Buy him a mistress, Micio?&mdash;Is not justice</p>
+<p>My due from you, as well as yours from me?</p>
+<p>Since I do not concern myself with yours,</p>
+<p>Meddle not you with mine!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> This is not fair;</p>
+<p>Indeed it is not. Think on the old saying,</p>
+<p>“All things are common among friends.”</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> How smart!</p>
+<p>Put off with quips and sentences at last!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Nay, hear me, if you can have
+patience, Demea.</p>
+<p>&mdash;First, if you’re griev’d at their extravagance,</p>
+<p>Let this reflection calm you! Formerly,</p>
+<p>You bred them both according to your fortune,</p>
+<p>Supposing it sufficient for them both:</p>
+<p>Then too you thought that I should take a wife.</p>
+<p>Still follow the old rule you then laid down:</p>
+<p>Hoard, scrape, and save; do ev’ry thing you can</p>
+<p>To leave them nobly! Be that glory yours.</p>
+<p>My fortune, fall’n beyond their hopes upon them,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">85</span>
+<p>Let them use freely! As your capital</p>
+<p>Will not be wasted, what addition comes</p>
+<p>From mine, consider as clear gain: and thus,</p>
+<p>Weighing all this impartially, you’ll spare</p>
+<p>Yourself, and me, and them, a world of trouble.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Money is not the thing: their
+morals&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Hold!</p>
+<p>I understand; and meant to speak of that.</p>
+<p>There are in nature sundry marks, good Demea,</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>By which you may conjecture of men’s minds;</p>
+<p>And when two persons do the self-same thing,</p>
+<p>May oftentimes pronounce, that in the one</p>
+<p>’Tis dangerous, in t’other ’tis not so:</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>By which you may conjecture easily,</p>
+<p>That when two persons do the self-same thing,</p>
+<p>It oftentimes falls out that in the one</p>
+<p>’Tis criminal, in t’other ’tis not so:</p>
+<p>Not that the thing itself is different,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">527</span>
+<p>But he who does it.&mdash;In these youths I see</p>
+<p>The marks of virtue; and, I trust, they’ll prove</p>
+<p>Such as we wish them. They have sense, I know;</p>
+<p>Attention; in its season, liberal shame;</p>
+<p>And fondness for each other; all sure signs</p>
+<p>Of an ingenuous mind and noble nature:</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">86</span>
+<p>And though they stray, you may at any time</p>
+<p>Reclaim them.&mdash;But perhaps you fear they’ll prove</p>
+<p>Too inattentive to their interest.</p>
+<p>Oh my dear Demea, in all matters else</p>
+<p>Increase of years increases wisdom in us:</p>
+<p>This only vice age brings along with it;</p>
+<p>“We’re all more worldly-minded than there’s need:”</p>
+<p>Which passion age, that kills all passions else,</p>
+<p>Will ripen in your sons too.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Have a care</p>
+<p>That these fine arguments and this great mildness</p>
+<p>Don’t prove the ruin of us, Micio.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Peace!</p>
+<p>It shall not be: away with all your fears!</p>
+<p>This day be rul’d by me: come, smooth your brow.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Well, since at present things are
+so, I must,</p>
+<p>But then I’ll to the country with my son</p>
+<p>To-morrow, at first peep of day.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> At midnight,</p>
+<p>So you’ll but smile to-day.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> And that wench too</p>
+<p>I’ll drag away with me.
+</p>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Aye; there you’ve hit it.</p>
+<p>For by that means you’ll keep your son at home;</p>
+<p>Do but secure her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I’ll see that: for there</p>
+<p>I’ll put her in the kitchen and the mill,</p>
+<p>And make her full of ashes, smoke, and meal:</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">87</span>
+<p>Nay at high noon too she shall gather stubble.</p>
+<p>I’ll burn her up, and make her black as coal.
+</p>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Right! now you’re wise.&mdash;And
+then I’d make my son</p>
+<p>Go to bed to her, though against his will.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> D’ye laugh at me? how happy in your
+temper!</p>
+<p>I feel&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Ah! that again?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I’ve done.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> In then!</p>
+<p>And let us suit our humor to the time.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exeunt.</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene -->
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">528</span>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">88</span>
+
+<h4 class = "act"><a name = "adel_V" id = "adel_V">
+ACT THE FIFTH.</a></h4>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_V_I" id = "adel_V_I">
+SCENE I.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Demea</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>Never did man lay down so fair a plan,</p>
+<p>So wise a rule of life, but fortune, age,</p>
+<p>Or long experience made some change in it;</p>
+<p>And taught him that those things he thought he knew</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">89</span>
+<p>He did not know, and what he held as best,</p>
+<p>In practice he threw by. The very thing</p>
+<p>That happens to myself. For that hard life</p>
+<p>Which I have ever led, my race near run,</p>
+<p>Now in the last stage, I renounce: and why?</p>
+<p>But that by dear experience I’ve been told,</p>
+<p>There’s nothing so advantages a man</p>
+<p>As mildness and complacency. Of this</p>
+<p>My brother and myself are living proofs:</p>
+<p>He always led an easy, cheerful life;</p>
+<p>Good-humor’d, mild, offending nobody,</p>
+<p>Smiling on all; a jovial bachelor,</p>
+<p>His whole expenses centred in himself.</p>
+<p>I, on the contrary, rough, rigid, cross,</p>
+<p>Saving, morose, and thrifty, took a wife:</p>
+<p>&mdash;What miseries did marriage bring!&mdash;had children;</p>
+<p>&mdash;A new uneasiness!&mdash;and then besides,</p>
+<p>Striving all ways to make a fortune for them,</p>
+<p>I have worn out my prime of life and health:</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">90</span>
+<p>And now, my course near finish’d, what return</p>
+<p>Do I receive for all my toil? Their hate.</p>
+<p>Meanwhile my brother, without any care,</p>
+<p>Reaps all a father’s comforts. Him they love,</p>
+<p>Me they avoid: to him they open all</p>
+<p>Their secret counsels; doat on him; and both</p>
+<p>Repair to him; while I am quite forsaken.</p>
+<p>His life they pray for, but expect my death.</p>
+<p>Thus those, brought up by my exceeding labor,</p>
+<p>He, at a small expense, has made his own:</p>
+<p>The care all mine, and all the pleasure his.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Well then, let me endeavor in my turn</p>
+<p>To teach my tongue civility, to give</p>
+<p>With open-handed generosity,</p>
+<p>Since I am challeng’d to’t!&mdash;and let me too</p>
+<p>Obtain the love and reverence of my children!</p>
+<p>And if ’tis bought by bounty and indulgence,</p>
+<p>I will not be behind-hand.&mdash;Cash will fail:</p>
+<p>What’s that to me, who am the eldest born?</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">529</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_V_II" id = "adel_V_II">
+SCENE II.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Syrus</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Oh Sir! your brother has
+dispatch’d me to you</p>
+<p>To beg you’d not go further off.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Who’s there?&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">91</span>
+<p>What, honest Syrus! save you: how is’t with you?</p>
+<p>How goes it?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Very well, Sir.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> (<i>aside.</i>) Excellent!</p>
+<p>Now for the first time, I, against my nature,</p>
+<p>Have added these three phrases, “Honest Syrus!&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>How is’t?&mdash;How goes it?”&mdash; (<i>To <span class =
+"charname">Syrus</span>.</i>) You have prov’d yourself</p>
+<p>A worthy servant. I’ll reward you for it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> I thank you, Sir.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I will, I promise you;</p>
+<p>And you shall be convinc’d on’t very soon.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_V_III" id = "adel_V_III">
+SCENE III.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Geta</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Sostrata</span> within</i>). Madam, I’m going to look after
+them,</p>
+<p>That they may call the bride immediately.</p>
+<p>&mdash;But here is Demea. Save you!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Oh! your name?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Geta, Sir.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Geta, I this day have found you</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">92</span>
+<p>To be a fellow of uncommon worth:</p>
+<p>For sure that servant’s faith is well approv’d</p>
+<p>Who holds his master’s interest at heart,</p>
+<p>As I perceiv’d that you did, Geta! wherefore,</p>
+<p>Soon as occasion offers, I’ll reward you.</p>
+<p>&mdash;I am endeavoring to be affable,</p>
+<p>And not without success. (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> ’Tis kind in you</p>
+<p>To think of your poor slave, Sir.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> (<i>aside.</i>) First of all</p>
+<p>I court the mob, and win them by degrees.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_V_IV" id = "adel_V_IV">
+SCENE IV.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Æschinus</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> They murder me with their delays;
+and while</p>
+<p>They lavish all this pomp upon the nuptials,</p>
+<p>They waste the livelong day in preparation.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">530</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> How does my son?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> My father! are you here?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Aye, by affection, and by blood
+your father,</p>
+<p>Who love you better than my eyes.&mdash;But why</p>
+<p>Do you not call the bride?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> ’Tis what I long for:</p>
+<p>But wait the music and the singers.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Pshaw!</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">93</span>
+<p>Will you for once be rul’d by an old fellow?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Well?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Ne’er mind singers, company,
+lights, music;</p>
+<p>But tell them to throw down the garden-wall,</p>
+<p>As soon as possible. Convey the bride</p>
+<p>That way, and lay both houses into one.</p>
+<p>Bring too the mother, and whole family,</p>
+<p>Over to us.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> I will. O charming father!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> (<i>aside</i>). <i>Charming!</i>
+See there! he calls me <i>charming</i> now.</p>
+<p>&mdash;My brother’s house will be a thoroughfare;</p>
+<p>Throng’d with whole crowds of people; much expense</p>
+<p>Will follow; very much: what’s that to me?</p>
+<p>I am call’d <i>charming</i>, and get into favor.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Ho! order Babylo immediately</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">94</span>
+<p>To pay him twenty minÊ.&mdash;Prithee, Syrus,</p>
+<p>Why don’t you execute your orders?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> What?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Down with the wall!&mdash; (<i>Exit
+<span class = "charname">Syrus</span>.</i>) You, Geta, go and bring</p>
+<p>The ladies over.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Heaven bless you, Demea,</p>
+<p>For all your friendship to our family!</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Geta</span>.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> They’re worthy of it.&mdash;What
+say you to this?</p>
+
+<p class = "stagedir">
+To <span class = "charname">Æschinus</span>.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> I think it admirable.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> ’Tis much better</p>
+<p>Than for a poor soul, sick, and lying-in,</p>
+<p>To be conducted through the street.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> I never</p>
+<p>Saw any thing concerted better, Sir.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> ’Tis just my way.&mdash;But here
+comes Micio.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">95</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_V_V" id = "adel_V_V">
+SCENE V.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Micio</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio</span> (<i>at entering.</i>) My brother
+order it, d’ye say? where is he?</p>
+<p>&mdash;Was this your order, Demea?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> ’Twas my order:</p>
+<p>And by this means, and every other way,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">531</span>
+<p>I would unite, serve, cherish, and oblige,</p>
+<p>And join the family to ours!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Pray do, Sir! (<i>To <span class =
+"charname">Micio</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> I don’t oppose it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Nay, but ’tis our duty.</p>
+<p>First, there’s the mother of the bride&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> What then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Worthy and modest.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> So they say.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> In years.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> True.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> And so far advanc’d, that she is
+long</p>
+<p>Past child-bearing, a poor lone woman too,</p>
+<p>With none to comfort her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> What means all this?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> This woman ’tis your place to
+marry, brother;</p>
+<p>&mdash;And yours (<i>to <span class = "charname">Æschinus</span></i>)
+to bring him to’t.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> I marry her?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">96</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> You.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> I?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Yes, you I say.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Ridiculous!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Æschinus</span></i>). If you’re a man, he’ll do’t.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Micio</span></i>). Dear father!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> How!</p>
+<p>Do you then join him, fool?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Nay, don’t deny.</p>
+<p>It can’t be otherwise.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> You’ve lost your senses!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Let me prevail upon you, Sir!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> You’re mad.</p>
+<p>Away!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Oblige your son.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Have you your wits?</p>
+<p>I a new married man at sixty-five!</p>
+<p>And marry a decrepit poor old woman!</p>
+<p>Is that what you advise me!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Do it, Sir!</p>
+<p>I’ve promis’d them.
+</p>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> You’ve promis’d them, indeed!</p>
+<p>Prithee, boy, promise for yourself.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Come, come!</p>
+<p>What if he ask’d still more of you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> As if</p>
+<p>This was not ev’n the utmost.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Nay, comply!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">97</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Be not obdurate!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Come, come, promise him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Won’t you desist?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> No, not till I prevail.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> This is mere force.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">532</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Nay, nay, comply, good Micio!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Though this appears to me absurd,
+wrong, foolish,</p>
+<p>And quite repugnant to my scheme of life,</p>
+<p>Yet, if you’re so much bent on’t, let it be!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Obliging father, worthy my best
+love!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> (<i>aside</i>). What
+now?&mdash;This answers to my wish.&mdash;What more?</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">98</span>
+<p>&mdash;Hegio’s their kinsman (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Micio</span></i>), our relation too,</p>
+<p>And very poor. We should do him some service.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Do what?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> There is a little piece of
+ground,</p>
+<p>Which you let out near town. Let’s give it him</p>
+<p>To live upon.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> So little, do you call it?</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Well, if ’tis large, let’s give it.
+He has been</p>
+<p>A father to the bride; a worthy man;</p>
+<p>Our kinsman too. It will be well bestow’d.</p>
+<p>In short, that saying I now make my own,</p>
+<p>Which you but now so wisely quoted, Micio;</p>
+<p>“It is the common failing of old men</p>
+<p>To be too much intent on worldly matters.”</p>
+<p>Let us wipe off that stain. The saying’s true,</p>
+<p>And worthy notice.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Well, if ’tis large, let’s give it.
+He has been</p>
+<p>Father to her; a good man; our relation.</p>
+<p>It will be given worthily. In short,</p>
+<p>That saying, Micio, I now make my own,</p>
+<p>Which you so lately and so wisely quoted;</p>
+<p>“It is the common failing of old men</p>
+<p>To be too much intent on worldly matters.”</p>
+<p>Let us wipe off that stain. The saying’s true,</p>
+<p>And should be practic’d.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Well, well; be it so,</p>
+<p>If he requires it. (<i>Pointing to <span class =
+"charname">Æschinus</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> I beseech it, father.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Now you’re indeed my brother, soul
+and body.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> I’m glad to find you think me
+so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I foil him</p>
+<p>At his own weapons. (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene -->
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">99</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "adel_V_VI" id = "adel_V_VI">
+SCENE VI.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+To them <span class = "charname">Syrus</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> I have executed</p>
+<p>Your orders, Demea.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> A good
+fellow!&mdash;&mdash;Truly</p>
+<p>Syrus, I think, should be made free to-day.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Made free!
+He!&mdash;&mdash;Wherefore?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Oh, for many reasons.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Oh Demea, you’re a noble
+gentleman.</p>
+<p>I’ve taken care of both your sons from boys;</p>
+<p>Taught them, instructed them, and given them</p>
+<p>The wholesomest advice that I was able.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> The thing’s apparent: and these
+offices,</p>
+<p>To cater;&mdash;bring a wench in, safe and snug;</p>
+<p>&mdash;Or in mid-day prepare an entertainment;&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>All these are talents of no common man.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Oh most delightful gentleman!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">533</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Besides,</p>
+<p>He has been instrumental too this day</p>
+<p>In purchasing the Music-Girl. He manag’d</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">100</span>
+<p>The whole affair. We should reward him for it.</p>
+<p>It will encourage others.&mdash;In a word,</p>
+<p>Your Æschinus would have it so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Do you</p>
+<p>Desire it?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Yes, Sir.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Well, if you desire
+it&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>Come hither, Syrus!&mdash;Be thou free! (<i><span class =
+"charname">Syrus</span> kneels; <span class = "charname">Micio</span>
+strikes him, being the ceremony of manumission, or giving a slave his
+freedom.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> I thank you:</p>
+<p>Thanks to you all; but most of all, to Demea!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I’m glad of your good fortune.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> So am I.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> I do believe it; and I wish this
+joy</p>
+<p>Were quite complete, and I might see my wife,</p>
+<p>My Phrygia too, made free, as well as I.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> The very best of women!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> And the first</p>
+<p>That suckled my young master’s son, your grandson.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Indeed! the first who suckled
+him!&mdash;Nay then,</p>
+<p>Beyond all doubt, she should be free.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> For what?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> For that. Nay, take the sum,
+whate’er it be,</p>
+<p>Of me.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">101</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Now all the powers above grant
+all</p>
+<p>Your wishes, Demea!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> You have thriv’d to-day</p>
+<p>Most rarely, Syrus.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> And besides this, Micio,</p>
+<p>It would be handsome to advance him something</p>
+<p>To try his fortune with. He’ll soon return it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Not that. (<i>Snapping his
+fingers.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> He’s honest.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Faith I will return it.</p>
+<p>Do but advance it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Do, Sir!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> Well, I’ll think on’t.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I’ll see that he shall do’t. (<i>To
+<span class = "charname">Syrus</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syrus.</span> Thou best of men!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> My most indulgent father!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Micio.</span> What means this?</p>
+<p>Whence comes this hasty change of manners, brother?</p>
+<p>Whence flows all this extravagance? and whence</p>
+<p>This sudden prodigality?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I’ll tell you:</p>
+<p>To show you, that the reason why our sons</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">102</span>
+<p>Think you so pleasant and agreeable,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">534</span>
+<p>Is not from your deserts, or truth, or justice,</p>
+<p>But your compliance, bounty, and indulgence.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">103</span>
+<p>&mdash;Now, therefore, if I’m odious to you, son,</p>
+<p>Because I’m not subservient to your humor</p>
+<p>In all things, right or wrong; away with care!</p>
+<p>Spend, squander, and do what you will!&mdash;but if,</p>
+<p>In those affairs where youth has made you blind,</p>
+<p>Eager, and thoughtless, you will suffer me</p>
+<p>To counsel and correct&mdash;and in due season</p>
+<p>Indulge you&mdash;I am at your service.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> Father,</p>
+<p>In all things we submit ourselves to you.</p>
+<p>What’s fit and proper, you know best.&mdash;But what</p>
+<p>Shall come of my poor brother?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I consent</p>
+<p>That he shall have her: let him finish there.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Æsch.</span> All now is as it should be.&mdash;
+(<i>To the audience.</i>) Clap your hands!</p>
+
+</div>
+
+</div> <!-- end div play -->
+
+
+<p class = "illustration">
+<img src = "images/stepmother.jpg" width = "287" height = "362"
+alt = "comic masks">
+</p>
+
+
+<div class = "play">
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">535</span>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">112</span>
+
+<h2 class = "title"><a name = "hecyra" id = "hecyra">
+THE STEP-MOTHER.</a></h2>
+
+<hr class = "mid">
+
+<h5>PERSONS REPRESENTED.</h5>
+
+<table class = "cast" summary = "cast of characters">
+<tr>
+<td class = "castleft">
+<p class = "charname">Prologue.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Laches.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Phidippus.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Pamphilus.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Parmeno.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Sosia.</p>
+<p><i><span class = "charname">Boy</span>, and other Servants.</i></p>
+</td>
+<td class = "castright">
+<p class = "charname">Sostrata.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Myrrhina.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Bacchis.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Philotis.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Syra.</p>
+<p><i><span class = "charname">Nurse</span>, Servants to Bacchis,
+etc.</i></p>
+</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class = "scene" colspan = "2">
+<p class = "smallcaps">Scene, Athens.</p>
+</td>
+</tr>
+</table>
+
+<p class = "mynote">
+The word “stepmother” in place of “mother-in-law” is an anomalous
+English usage, not a mistranslation.</p>
+
+<hr class = "mid">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">113</span>
+<h5><a name = "hec_prolog" id = "hec_prolog">
+PROLOGUE.</a></h5>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "indent">
+<span class = "firstword">This</span> play is call’d the <span class =
+"smallcaps">Step-Mother</span>. When first</p>
+<p>It was presented, such a hurricane,</p>
+<p>A tumult so uncommon interven’d,</p>
+<p>It neither could be seen nor understood:</p>
+<p>So taken were the people, so engag’d</p>
+<p>By a rope-dancer!&mdash;It is now brought on</p>
+<p>As a new piece: and he who wrote the play</p>
+<p>Suffer’d it not to be repeated then,</p>
+<p>That he might profit by a second sale.</p>
+<p>Others, his plays, you have already known;</p>
+<p>Now then, let me beseech you, know this too.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">114</span>
+<h5><a name = "hec_prolog2" id = "hec_prolog2">
+ANOTHER PROLOGUE.</a></h5>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "indent">
+<span class = "firstword">I come</span> a pleader, in the shape of
+prologue:</p>
+<p>Let me then gain my cause, and now grown old.</p>
+<p>Experience the same favor as when young;</p>
+<p>Who then recover’d many a lost play,</p>
+<p>Breath’d a new life into the scenes, and sav’d</p>
+<p>The author and his writings from oblivion.</p>
+<p>Of those which first I studied of CÊcilius,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">115</span>
+<p>In some I was excluded; and in some</p>
+<p>Hardly maintain’d my ground. But knowing well</p>
+<p>The variable fortunes of the scene,</p>
+<p>I was content to hazard certain toil</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">536</span>
+<p>For an uncertain gain. I undertook</p>
+<p>To rescue those same plays from condemnation,</p>
+<p>And labor’d to reverse your sentence on them;</p>
+<p>That the same Poet might afford me more,</p>
+<p>And no ill fortune damp young Genius in him.</p>
+<p>My cares prevail’d; the plays were heard; and thus</p>
+<p>Did I restore an Author, nearly lost</p>
+<p>Through the malevolence of adversaries,</p>
+<p>To study, labor, and the Poet’s art.</p>
+<p>But had I at that time despis’d his plays,</p>
+<p>Or labor’d to deter him from the task,</p>
+<p>It had been easy to have kept him idle,</p>
+<p>And to have scar’d him from attempting more:</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">116</span>
+<p>For my sake, therefore, deign to hear with candor</p>
+<p>The suit I mean to offer to you now.</p>
+
+<p class = "indent first">
+Once more I bring the <span class = "smallcaps">Step-Mother</span>
+before you,</p>
+<p>Which yet in silence I might never play;</p>
+<p>So did confusion crush it: which confusion</p>
+<p>Your prudence may allay, if it will deign</p>
+<p>To second our endeavors.&mdash;When I first</p>
+<p>Began to play this piece, the sturdy Boxers,</p>
+<p>(The dancers on the rope expected too,)</p>
+<p>Th’ increasing crowds, the noise and women’s clamor,</p>
+<p>Oblig’d me to retire before my time.</p>
+<p>I, upon this occasion, had recourse</p>
+<p>To my old way. I brought it on again.</p>
+<p>In the first act I please: meanwhile there spreads</p>
+<p>A rumor of the Gladiators: then</p>
+<p>The people flock together, riot, roar,</p>
+<p>And fight for places. I meanwhile <i>my</i> place</p>
+<p>Could not maintain&mdash;To-day there’s no disturbance;</p>
+<p>All’s silence and attention; a clear stage:</p>
+<p>’Tis yours to give these games their proper grace.</p>
+<p>Let not, oh let not the Dramatic Art</p>
+<p>Fall to a few! let your authority</p>
+<p>Assist and second mine! if I for gain</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">117</span>
+<p>Ne’er overrated my abilities,</p>
+<p>If I have made it still my only care</p>
+<p>To be obedient to your will, oh grant</p>
+<p>That he who hath committed his performance</p>
+<p>To my defense, and who hath thrown himself</p>
+<p>On your protection, be not giv’n to scorn,</p>
+<p>And foul derision of his envious foes!</p>
+
+<p class = "indent first">
+Admit this plea for my sake, and be silent;</p>
+<p>That other Poets may not fear to write,</p>
+<p>That I too may hereafter find it meet</p>
+<p>To play new pieces bought at my expense.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">537</span>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">119</span>
+<h4 class = "act"><a name = "hec_I" id = "hec_I">
+ACT THE FIRST.</a></h4>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "hec_I_I" id = "hec_I_I">
+SCENE I.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Philotis</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Syra</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phi.</span> Now, by my troth, a woman of the
+town</p>
+<p>Scarce ever finds a faithful lover, Syra.</p>
+<p>This very Pamphilus, how many times</p>
+<p>He swore to Bacchis, swore so solemnly</p>
+<p>One could not but believe him, that he never</p>
+<p>Would, in her lifetime, marry. See! he’s married.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syra.</span> I warn you, therefore, and most
+earnestly</p>
+<p>Conjure you, to have pity upon none.</p>
+<p>But plunder, fleece, and beggar ev’ry man</p>
+<p>That falls into your pow’r.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phi.</span> What! spare none?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syra.</span> None.</p>
+<p>For know, there is not one of all your sparks</p>
+<p>But studies to cajole you with fine speeches,</p>
+<p>And have his will as cheaply as he can.</p>
+<p>Should not you, then, endeavor to fool them?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phi.</span> But to treat all alike is
+wrong.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syra.</span> What! wrong?</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">120</span>
+<p>To be reveng’d upon your enemies?</p>
+<p>Or to snare those who spread their snares for you?</p>
+<p>&mdash;Alas! why have not I your youth and beauty,</p>
+<p>Or you my sentiments?</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "hec_I_II" id = "hec_I_II">
+SCENE II.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Parmeno</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> (<i>to <ins class = "correction
+harper" title = "1768 edition has ‘Scirtus’ both times"><span class =
+"charname">Scritus</span></ins> within</i>). If our old gentleman</p>
+<p>Asks for me, tell him I’m this very moment</p>
+<p>Gone to the Port to seek for Pamphilus.</p>
+<p>D’ye understand my meaning, <ins class = "correction harper" title =
+"1768 edition has ‘Scirtus’ both times">Scritus</ins>? If he asks,</p>
+<p>Tell him that; if he should not ask, say nothing;</p>
+<p>That this excuse may serve another time. (<i>Comes forward.</i></p>
+<p>&mdash;But is not that Philotis? Whence comes she?</p>
+<p>Philotis, save you!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phi.</span> Save you, Parmeno!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Syra.</span> Save you, good Parmeno!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> And save you, Syra!</p>
+<p>&mdash;Tell me, Philotis, where have you been gadding?</p>
+<p>Taking your pleasure this long time?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phi.</span> I’ve taken</p>
+<p>No pleasure, Parmeno, indeed. I went</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">538</span>
+<p>With a most brutal Captain hence to Corinth,</p>
+<p>There have I led a wretched life with him</p>
+<p>For two whole years.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">121</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Aye, aye, I warrant you</p>
+<p>That you have often wish’d to be in Athens;</p>
+<p>Often repented of your journey.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phi.</span> Oh,</p>
+<p>’Tis quite impossible to tell how much</p>
+<p>I long’d to be at home, how much I long’d</p>
+<p>To leave the Captain, see you, revel with you,</p>
+<p>After the good old fashion, free and easy.</p>
+<p>For there I durst not speak a single word,</p>
+<p>But what, and when the mighty Captain pleas’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> ’Twas cruel in him thus to tie your
+tongue:</p>
+<p>At least, I’ll warrant, that you thought it so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phi.</span> But what’s this business, Parmeno?
+this story</p>
+<p>That Bacchis has been telling me within?</p>
+<p>I could not have believ’d that Pamphilus</p>
+<p>Would in her lifetime marry.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Marry truly!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phi.</span> Why he is married: is not he?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> He is.</p>
+<p>But I’m afraid ’twill prove a crazy match,</p>
+<p>And will not hold together long.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phi.</span> Heav’n grant it.</p>
+<p>So it turn out to Bacchis’s advantage!</p>
+<p>But how can I believe this, Parmeno?</p>
+<p>Tell me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> It is not fit it should be
+told.</p>
+<p>Inquire no more.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phi.</span> For fear I should divulge it?</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">122</span>
+<p>Now Heav’n so prosper me, as I inquire,</p>
+<p>Not for the sake of telling it again,</p>
+<p>But to rejoice within myself.</p>
+
+<p class = "second first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> No, no:</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> All these </p>
+<p>Fair words, Philotis, sha’n’t prevail on me</p>
+<p>To trust my back to your discretion.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phi.</span> Well;</p>
+<p>Don’t tell me, Parmeno.&mdash;As if you had not</p>
+<p>Much rather tell this secret than I hear it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> She’s in the right: I am a blab,
+’tis true,</p>
+<p>It is my greatest failing.&mdash;Give your word</p>
+<p>You’ll not reveal it, and I’ll tell you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phi.</span> Now</p>
+<p>You’re like yourself again. I give my word.</p>
+<p>Speak.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Listen then.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phi.</span> I’m all ear.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Pamphilus</p>
+<p>Doted on Bacchis still as much as ever,</p>
+<p>When the old gentleman began to tease him</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">539</span>
+<p>To marry, in the common cant of fathers;</p>
+<p>&mdash;“That he was now grown old; and Pamphilus</p>
+<p>His only child; and that he long’d for heirs,</p>
+<p>As props of his old age.” At first my master</p>
+<p>Withstood his instances, but as his father</p>
+<p>Became more hot and urgent, Pamphilus</p>
+<p>Began to waver in his mind, and felt</p>
+<p>A conflict betwixt love and duty in him.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">123</span>
+<p>At length, by hammering on marriage still,</p>
+<p>And daily instances, th’ old man prevail’d,</p>
+<p>And made a match with our next neighbor’s daughter.</p>
+<p>Pamphilus did not take it much to heart,</p>
+<p>Till just upon the very brink of wedlock:</p>
+<p>But when he saw the nuptial rites prepar’d,</p>
+<p>And, without respite, he must many; then</p>
+<p>It came so home to him, that even Bacchis,</p>
+<p>Had she been present, must have pitied him.</p>
+<p>Whenever he could steal from company,</p>
+<p>And talk to me alone,&mdash;“Oh Parmeno,</p>
+<p>What have I done?” he’d cry.&mdash;“I’m lost forever.</p>
+<p>Into what ruin have I plung’d myself!</p>
+<p>I can not bear it, Parmeno. Ah wretch!</p>
+<p>I am undone.”</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phi.</span> Now all the powers of heav’n</p>
+<p>Confound you, Laches, for thus teasing him?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> In short, he marries, and brings
+home his wife.</p>
+<p>The first night he ne’er touch’d her! nor the next.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phi.</span> How! he a youth, and she a
+maidenhead!</p>
+<p>Tipsy, and never touch her! ’Tis not likely;</p>
+<p>Nor do I think it can be true.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> No wonder.</p>
+<p>For they that come to you come all desire:</p>
+<p>But he was bound to her against his will.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phi.</span> What followed upon this?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> A few days after,</p>
+<p>Pamphilus, taking me aside, informs me,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">124</span>
+<p>“That the maid still remain’d a maid for him;</p>
+<p>That he had hop’d, before he brought her home,</p>
+<p>He might have borne the marriage:&mdash;but resolving</p>
+<p>Within myself not to retain her long,</p>
+<p>I held it neither honesty in me,</p>
+<p>Nor of advantage to the maid herself,</p>
+<p>That I should throw her off to scorn:&mdash;but rather</p>
+<p>Return her to her friends, as I receiv’d her,</p>
+<p>Chaste and inviolate.”</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phi.</span> A worthy youth,</p>
+<p>And of great modesty!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> “To make this public</p>
+<p>Would not, I think, do well: and to return her</p>
+<p>Upon her father’s hands, no crime alleg’d,</p>
+
+<p class = "second">
+Is arrogant: but she, I hope, as soon</p>
+
+<p>As arrogant: but she, I hope, as soon</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">540</span>
+<p>As she perceives she can not live with me,</p>
+<p>Will of her own accord depart.”</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phi.</span> But tell me;</p>
+<p>Went he meanwhile to Bacchis?</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Every day.</p>
+<p>But she, as is the way you know, perceiving</p>
+<p>He was another’s property, became</p>
+<p>More cross and mercenary.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phi.</span> Troth, no wonder.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Aye, but ’twas that detach’d him
+chiefly from her.</p>
+<p>For when he had examined well himself,</p>
+<p>Bacchis, and her at home; and had compar’d</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">125</span>
+<p>Their different manners; seeing that his bride,</p>
+<p>After the fashion of a lib’ral mind,</p>
+<p>Was decent, modest, patient of affronts,</p>
+<p>And anxious to conceal the wrongs he did her;</p>
+<p>Touch’d partly with compassion for his wife,</p>
+<p>And partly tir’d with t’other’s insolence,</p>
+<p>He by degrees withdrew his heart from Bacchis,</p>
+<p>Transferring it to her, whose disposition</p>
+<p>Was so congenial to his own. Meanwhile</p>
+<p>An old relation of the family</p>
+<p>Dies in the isle of Imbrus. His estate</p>
+<p>Comes by the law to them; and our old man</p>
+<p>Dispatching thither, much against his will,</p>
+<p>The now-fond Pamphilus, he leaves his wife</p>
+<p>Here with his mother. The old gentleman</p>
+<p>Retir’d into the country, and but seldom</p>
+<p>Comes up to town.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phi.</span> But what is there in this</p>
+<p>That can affect the marriage?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> You shall hear</p>
+<p>Immediately. At first, for some few days,</p>
+<p>The <ins class = "correction second" title =
+"Harper edition has ‘woman’">women</ins> seem’d to live on friendly terms:</p>
+<p>Till all at once the bride, forsooth, conceiv’d</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">126</span>
+<p>A wonderful disgust to Sostrata:</p>
+<p>And yet there was no open breach between them,</p>
+<p>And no complaints on either side.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phi.</span> What then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> If Sostrata, for conversation’
+sake,</p>
+<p>Went to the bride, she instantly withdrew,</p>
+
+<p class = "second">
+Shunning her company. At length, unable</p>
+
+<p>Shunning her company. At length, not able</p>
+<p>To bear it any longer, she pretends</p>
+<p>Her mother had sent for her to assist</p>
+<p>At some home-sacrifice. Away she went.</p>
+<p>After a few days’ absence, Sostrata</p>
+<p>Sent for her back. They made some lame excuse,</p>
+<p>I know not what. She sends again. No lady.</p>
+<p>Then after several messages, at last</p>
+<p>They say the gentlewoman’s sick. My mistress</p>
+<p>Goes on a visit to her: not let in.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">541</span>
+<p>Th’ old gentleman, inform’d of all this, came</p>
+<p>On this occasion yesterday to town;</p>
+<p>And waited on the father of the bride.</p>
+<p>What pass’d between them, I as yet can’t tell;</p>
+<p>And yet I long to know the end of this.</p>
+<p>&mdash;There’s the whole business. Now I’ll on my way.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">127</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phi.</span> And I: for there’s a stranger here,
+with whom</p>
+<p>I have an assignation.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Speed the plow!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phi.</span> Parmeno, fare you well!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Farewell, Philotis!</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exeunt severally.</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene -->
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">128</span>
+<h4 class = "act"><a name = "hec_II" id = "hec_II">
+ACT THE SECOND.</a></h4>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "hec_II_I" id = "hec_II_I">
+SCENE I.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Laches</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Sostrata</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Oh heav’n and earth, what animals
+are women!</p>
+<p>What a conspiracy between them all,</p>
+<p>To do or not do, love or hate alike!</p>
+<p>Not one but has the sex so strong in her,</p>
+<p>She differs nothing from the rest. Step-mothers</p>
+<p>All hate their Step-daughters: and every wife</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">129</span>
+<p>Studies alike to contradict her husband,</p>
+<p>The same perverseness running through them all.</p>
+<p>Each seems train’d up in the same school of mischief:</p>
+<p>And of that school, if any such there be,</p>
+<p>My wife, I think, is schoolmistress.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Ah me!</p>
+<p>Who know not why I am accus’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Not know?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> No, as I hope for mercy! as I
+hope</p>
+<p>We may live long together!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Heav’n forbid!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Hereafter, Laches, you’ll be
+sensible</p>
+<p>How wrongfully you have accus’d me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> I?</p>
+<p>Accuse you wrongfully?&mdash;&mdash;Is’t possible</p>
+<p>To speak too hardly of your late behavior?</p>
+<p>Disgracing me, yourself, and family;</p>
+<p>Laying up sorrow for your absent son;</p>
+<p>Converting into foes his new-made friends,</p>
+<p>Who thought him worthy of their child in marriage.</p>
+<p>You’ve been our bane, and by your shrewishness</p>
+<p>Brew’d this disturbance.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> I?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> You, woman, you!</p>
+<p>Who take me for a stone, and not a man.</p>
+<p>Think ye, because I’m mostly in the country,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">542</span>
+<p>I’m ignorant of your proceedings here?</p>
+<p>No, no; I know much better what’s done here,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">130</span>
+<p>Than where I’m chiefly resident. Because</p>
+<p>Upon my family at home depends</p>
+<p>My character abroad. I knew long since</p>
+<p>Philumena’s disgust to you;&mdash;&mdash;no wonder!</p>
+<p>Nay, ’twere a wonder, had it not been so.</p>
+<p>Yet I imagin’d not her hate so strong,</p>
+<p>’Twould vent itself upon the family:</p>
+<p>Which had I dream’d of, she should have remain’d,</p>
+<p>And you pack’d off.&mdash;Consider, Sostrata,</p>
+<p>How little cause you had to vex me thus.</p>
+<p>In complaisance to you, and husbanding</p>
+<p>My fortune, I retir’d into the country:</p>
+<p>Scraping, and laboring beyond the bounds</p>
+<p>Of reason, or my age, that my estate</p>
+<p>Might furnish means for your expense and pleasure.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Was it not then your duty, in return,</p>
+<p>To see that nothing happen’d here to vex me?</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> ’Twas not my doing, nor my fault
+indeed.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> ’Twas your fault, Sostrata; your
+fault alone.</p>
+
+<p class = "second">
+You were sole mistress here; and in your care</p>
+
+<p>You was sole mistress here; and in your care</p>
+<p>The house, though I had freed you of all other cares.</p>
+<p>A woman, an old woman too, and quarrel</p>
+<p>With a green girl! oh shame upon’t!&mdash;You’ll say</p>
+<p>That ’twas her fault.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Not I indeed, my Laches.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> ’Fore Heav’n, I’m glad on’t! on my
+son’s account.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">131</span>
+<p>For as for you, I’m well enough assur’d,</p>
+<p>No fault can make you worse.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> But prithee, husband,</p>
+<p>How can you tell that her aversion to me</p>
+<p>Is not a mere pretense, that she may stay</p>
+<p>The longer with her mother?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> No such thing.</p>
+<p>Was not your visit yesterday a proof,</p>
+<p>From their denial to admit you to her?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> They said she was so sick she
+could not see me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Sick of your humors; nothing else,
+I fancy.</p>
+<p>And well she might: for there’s not one of you</p>
+<p>But want your sons to take a wife: and that’s</p>
+<p>No sooner over, but the very woman</p>
+<p>Which, by your instigation, they have married,</p>
+<p>They, by your instigation, put away.</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene -->
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "hec_II_II" id = "hec_II_II">
+SCENE II.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Phidippus</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Philumena</span> within</i>). Although, Philumena, I know</p>
+<p>my pow’r</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">543</span>
+<p>To force you to comply with my commands;</p>
+<p>Yet yielding to paternal tenderness,</p>
+<p>I e’en give way, nor cross your humor.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> See,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">132</span>
+<p>Phidippus in good time! I’ll learn from him</p>
+<p>The cause of this.&mdash; (<i>Going up to him.</i>) Phidippus, though
+I own</p>
+<p>Myself indulgent to my family,</p>
+<p>Yet my complacency and easiness</p>
+<p>Runs not to that extreme, that my good-nature</p>
+<p>Corrupts their morals. Would you act like me,</p>
+<p>’Twould be of service to both families.</p>
+<p>But you, I see, are wholly in their power.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> See there!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">133</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> I waited on you yesterday</p>
+<p>About your daughter: but I went away</p>
+<p>No wiser than I came. It is not right,</p>
+<p>If you would have the alliance last between us,</p>
+<p>To smother your resentment. If we seem</p>
+<p>In fault, declare it; that we may refute,</p>
+<p>Or make amends for our offense: and you</p>
+<p>Shall carve the satisfaction out yourself.</p>
+<p>But if her sickness only is the cause</p>
+<p>Of her remaining in your family,</p>
+<p>Trust me, Phidippus, but you do me wrong,</p>
+<p>To doubt her due attendance at my house.</p>
+<p>For, by the pow’rs of heav’n, I’ll not allow</p>
+<p>That you, although her father, wish her better</p>
+<p>Than I. I love her on my son’s account;</p>
+<p>To whom, I’m well convinc’d, she is as dear</p>
+<p>As he is to himself: and I can tell</p>
+<p>How deeply ’twill affect him, if he knows this.</p>
+<p>Wherefore I wish she should come home again,</p>
+<p>Before my son’s return.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> My good friend Laches,</p>
+<p>I know your care, and your benevolence;</p>
+<p>Nor doubt that all is as you say; and hope</p>
+<p>That you’ll believe I wish for her return,</p>
+<p>So I could but effect it.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">134</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> What prevents it?</p>
+<p>Tell me, Phidippus! does she blame her husband?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> Not in the least. For when I urg’d
+it home,</p>
+<p>And threaten’d to oblige her to return,</p>
+<p>She vow’d most solemnly she could not bear</p>
+<p>Your house, so long as Pamphilus was absent.</p>
+<p>&mdash;All have their failings: I am of so soft</p>
+<p>A nature, I can’t thwart my family.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Ha, Sostrata! (<i>To <span class =
+"charname">Sostrata</span>, apart.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Wretch that I am! Ah me!
+(<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> And her return’s impossible?
+(<i>To <span class = "charname">Phidippus</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> At present.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">544</span>
+<p>&mdash;Would you aught else with me? for I have business</p>
+<p>That calls me to the Forum.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> I’ll go with you.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exeunt.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "hec_II_III" id = "hec_II_III">
+SCENE III.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Manet <span class = "charname">Sostrata</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> How unjustly</p>
+<p>Do husbands stretch their censures to all wives</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">135</span>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>Because of the offences of a few,</p>
+<p>Whose faults reflect dishonour on the rest!</p>
+<p>&mdash;For, heav’n so help me, as I’m innocent</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>For the offenses of a few, whose vices</p>
+<p>Reflect dishonor on the rest!&mdash;For, Heaven</p>
+<p>So help me, as I’m wholly innocent</p>
+<p>Of what my husband now accuses me!</p>
+<p>But ’tis no easy task to clear myself;</p>
+<p>So fix’d and rooted is the notion in them,</p>
+<p>That Step-Mothers are all severe.&mdash;Not I;</p>
+<p>For I have ever lov’d Philumena</p>
+<p>As my own daughter; nor can I conceive</p>
+<p>What accident has drawn her hatred on me.</p>
+<p>My son’s return, I hope, will settle all;</p>
+<p>And, ah, I’ve too much cause to wish his coming.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene split -->
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">136</span>
+<h4 class = "act"><a name = "hec_III" id = "hec_III">
+ACT THE THIRD.</a></h4>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "hec_III_I" id = "hec_III_I">
+SCENE I.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Pamphilus</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Parmeno</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Never did man experience greater
+ills,</p>
+<p>More miseries in love than I.&mdash;Distraction!</p>
+<p>Was it for this I held my life so dear?</p>
+<p>For this was I so anxious to return?</p>
+<p>Better, much better were it to have liv’d</p>
+<p>In any place, than come to this again!</p>
+<p>To feel and know myself a wretch!&mdash;For when</p>
+<p>Mischance befalls us, all the interval</p>
+<p>Between its happening, and our knowledge of it,</p>
+<p>May be esteem’d clear gain.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> But as it is,</p>
+<p>You’ll sooner be deliver’d from your troubles:</p>
+<p>For had you not return’d, the breach between them</p>
+<p>Had been made wider. But now, Pamphilus,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">137</span>
+<p>Both will, I doubt not, reverence your presence.</p>
+<p>You’ll know the whole, make up their difference,</p>
+<p>And reconcile them to each other.&mdash;These</p>
+<p>Are all mere trifles, which you think so grievous.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Ah, why will you attempt to comfort
+me?</p>
+<p>Was ever such a wretch?&mdash;Before I married,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">545</span>
+<p>My heart, you know, was wedded to another.</p>
+<p>&mdash;But I’ll not dwell upon that misery,</p>
+<p>Which may he easily conceiv’d: and yet</p>
+<p>I had not courage to refuse the match</p>
+<p>My father forc’d upon me.&mdash;Scarcely wean’d</p>
+<p>From my old love, my lim’d soul scarcely freed</p>
+<p>From Bacchis, and devoted to my wife,</p>
+<p>Than, lo, a new calamity arises,</p>
+<p>Threatening to tear me from Philumena.</p>
+<p>For either I shall find my mother faulty,</p>
+<p>Or else my wife: In either case unhappy.</p>
+<p>For duty, Parmeno, obliges me</p>
+<p>To bear with all the failings of a mother:</p>
+<p>And then I am so bounden to my wife,</p>
+<p>Who, calm as patience, bore the wrongs I did her,</p>
+<p>Nor ever murmur’d a complaint.&mdash;But sure</p>
+<p>’Twas somewhat very serious, Parmeno,</p>
+<p>That could occasion such a lasting quarrel.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Rather some trifle, if you knew the
+truth.</p>
+<p>The greatest quarrels do not always rise</p>
+<p>From deepest injuries. We often see</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">138</span>
+<p>That what would never move another’s spleen</p>
+<p>Renders the choleric your worst of foes.</p>
+<p>Observe how lightly children squabble.&mdash;Why?</p>
+<p>Because they’re govern’d by a feeble mind.</p>
+<p>Women, like children, too, are impotent,</p>
+<p>And weak of soul. A single word, perhaps,</p>
+<p>Has kindled all this enmity between them.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Go, Parmeno, and let them know I’m
+come.</p>
+
+<p class = "stagedir">
+Noise within.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Ha! what’s all this?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Hush!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> I perceive a bustle,</p>
+<p>And running to and fro.&mdash;Come this way, Sir!</p>
+<p>&mdash;To the door!&mdash;nearer still!&mdash;There, there, d’ye
+hear?</p>
+
+<p class = "stagedir">
+Noise continues.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Peace; hush! (<i>Shriek
+within.</i>) Oh Jupiter, I heard</p>
+<p>a shriek!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> You talk yourself, and bid me hold
+my tongue.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Myrrhina</span> (<i>within</i>). Hush, my dear
+child, for Heaven’s sake!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> It seem’d</p>
+<p>The voice of my wife’s mother. I am ruin’d!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> How so?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">139</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Undone!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> And why?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Ah, Parmeno,</p>
+<p>They hide some terrible misfortune from me!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> They said your wife Philumena was
+ill:</p>
+<p>Whether ’tis that, I can not tell.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Death, Sirrah!</p>
+<p>Why did you not inform me that before?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">546</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Because I could not tell you all at
+once.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> What’s her disorder?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> I don’t know.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> But tell me,</p>
+<p>Has she had no physician?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> I don’t know.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> But why do I delay to enter
+straight,</p>
+<p>That I may learn the truth, be what it will?</p>
+<p>&mdash;Oh my Philumena, in what condition</p>
+<p>Shall I now find thee?&mdash;If there’s danger of thee,</p>
+<p>My life’s in danger too.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "hec_III_II" id = "hec_III_II">
+SCENE II.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Parmeno</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>It were not good</p>
+<p>That I should follow him into the house:</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">140</span>
+<p>For all our family are odious to them.</p>
+<p>That’s plain from their denying Sostrata</p>
+<p>Admittance yesterday.&mdash;And if by chance</p>
+<p>Her illness should increase (which Heav’n forbid,</p>
+<p>For my poor master’s sake!), they’ll cry directly,</p>
+<p>“Sostrata’s servant came into the house:”</p>
+<p>Swear,&mdash;“that I brought the plague along with me,</p>
+<p>Put all their lives in danger, and increas’d</p>
+<p>Philumena’s distemper.”&mdash;By which means</p>
+<p>My mistress will be blam’d, and I be beaten.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "hec_III_III" id = "hec_III_III">
+SCENE III.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Sostrata</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Alas, I hear a dreadful noise
+within.</p>
+<p>Philumena, I fear, grows worse and worse:</p>
+<p>Which Æsculapius, and thou, Health, forbid!</p>
+<p>But now I’ll visit her. (<i>Goes toward the house.</i>)</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">141</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Ho, Sostrata!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Who’s there?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> You’ll be shut out a second
+time.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Ha, Parmeno, are you
+there?&mdash;Wretched woman!</p>
+<p>What shall I do?&mdash;Not visit my son’s wife,</p>
+<p>When she lies sick at next door!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Do not go;</p>
+<p>No, nor send any body else; for they</p>
+<p>That love the folks, to whom themselves are odious,</p>
+<p>I think are guilty of a double folly:</p>
+<p>Their labor proves but idle to themselves,</p>
+<p>And troublesome to those for whom ’tis meant.</p>
+<p>Besides, your son, the moment he arriv’d,</p>
+<p>Went in to visit her.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">547</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> How, Parmeno!</p>
+<p>Is Pamphilus arriv’d?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> He is.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Thank Heav’n!</p>
+<p>Oh, how my comfort is reviv’d by that!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> And therefore I ne’er went into the
+house.</p>
+<p>For if Philumena’s complaints abate,</p>
+<p>She’ll tell him, face to face, the whole affair,</p>
+<p>And what has pass’d between you to create</p>
+<p>This difference.&mdash;But here he comes&mdash;how sad!</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">142</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "hec_III_IV" id = "hec_III_IV">
+SCENE IV.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Pamphilus</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> My dear boy, Pamphilus!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> My mother, save you!
+(<i>Disordered.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> I’m glad to see you safe
+return’d&mdash;How does</p>
+<p>Your wife!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> A little better.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Grant it, Heav’n!</p>
+<p>&mdash;But why d’ye weep, and why are you so sad?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Nothing, good mother.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> What was all that bustle?</p>
+<p>Tell me, did pain attack her suddenly?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> It did.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> And what is her complaint?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> A fever.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> What! a quotidian?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> So they say.&mdash;But in,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">143</span>
+<p>Good mother, and I’ll follow.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Be it so.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Do you run, Parmeno, to meet the
+servants,</p>
+<p>And give your help in bringing home the baggage.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> As if they did not know the
+road!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Away!</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Parmeno</span>.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "hec_III_V" id = "hec_III_V">
+SCENE V.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Pamphilus</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>Which way shall I begin the wretched tale</p>
+<p>Of my misfortunes, which have fall’n upon me</p>
+<p>Thus unexpectedly? which even now</p>
+<p>These very eyes have seen, these ears have heard?</p>
+<p>And which, discover’d, drove me out o’doors.</p>
+<p>Cover’d with deep confusion?&mdash;For but now</p>
+<p>As I rush’d in, all anxious for my wife,</p>
+<p>And thinking to have found her visited,</p>
+<p>Alas! with a far different complaint;</p>
+<p>Soon as her women saw me, at first sight</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">548</span>
+<p>Struck and o’erjoy’d, they all exclaim’d, “He’s come!”</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">144</span>
+<p>And then as soon each countenance was chang’d,</p>
+<p>That chance had brought me so unseasonably.</p>
+<p>Meanwhile one of them ran before, to speak</p>
+<p>Of my arrival. I, who long’d to see her,</p>
+<p>Directly follow’d; and no sooner enter’d,</p>
+<p>Than her disorder was, alas! too plain:</p>
+<p>For neither had they leisure to disguise it,</p>
+<p>Nor could she silence the loud cries of travail.</p>
+<p>Soon as I saw it, “Oh shame, shame!” I cried,</p>
+<p>And rush’d away in tears and agony,</p>
+<p>O’erwhelm’d with horror at a stroke so grievous.</p>
+<p>The mother follows me, and at the threshold</p>
+<p>Falls on her knees before me all in tears.</p>
+<p>This touch’d me to the soul. And certainly</p>
+<p>’Tis in the very nature of our minds,</p>
+<p>To rise and fall according to our fortunes.</p>
+<p>Thus she address’d me.&mdash; “Oh, my Pamphilus,</p>
+<p>The cause of her removal from your house</p>
+<p>You’ve now discover’d. To my virgin-daughter</p>
+<p>Some unknown villain offer’d violence;</p>
+<p>And she fled hither to conceal her labor</p>
+<p>From you and from your family.”&mdash;Alas!</p>
+<p>When I but call her earnest prayers to mind,</p>
+<p>I can not choose but weep.&mdash;“Whatever chance,”</p>
+<p>Continued she, “whatever accident,</p>
+<p>Brought you to-day thus suddenly upon us,</p>
+<p>By that we both conjure you&mdash;if in justice</p>
+<p>And equity we may&mdash;to keep in silence,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">145</span>
+<p>And cover her distress.&mdash;Oh, Pamphilus,</p>
+<p>If e’er you witness’d her affection for you,</p>
+<p>By that affection she implores you now</p>
+<p>Not to refuse us!&mdash;for recalling her,</p>
+<p>Do as your own discretion shall direct.</p>
+<p>That she’s in labor now, or has conceiv’d</p>
+<p>By any other person, is a secret</p>
+<p>Known but to you alone. For I’ve been told,</p>
+<p>The two first months you had no commerce with her,</p>
+<p>And it is now the seventh since your union.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">146</span>
+<p>Your sentiments on this are evident.</p>
+<p>But now, my Pamphilus, if possible,</p>
+<p>I’ll call it a miscarriage: no one else</p>
+<p>But will believe, as probable, ’tis yours.</p>
+<p>The child shall be immediately expos’d.</p>
+<p>No inconvenience will arise to you;</p>
+<p>While thus you shall conceal the injury</p>
+<p>That my poor girl unworthily sustain’d.”</p>
+<p>&mdash;I promis’d her; and I will keep my word.</p>
+<p>But to recall her would be poor indeed:</p>
+<p>Nor will I do it, though I love her still.</p>
+<p>And former commerce binds me strongly to her.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">549</span>
+<p>&mdash;I can’t but weep, to think how sad and lonely</p>
+<p>My future life will be.&mdash;Oh fickle fortune!</p>
+<p>How transient are thy smiles!&mdash;But I’ve been school’d</p>
+<p>To patience by my former hapless passion,</p>
+<p>Which I subdued by reason: and I’ll try</p>
+<p>By reason to subdue this too.&mdash;But yonder</p>
+<p>Comes Parmeno, I see, with th’ other slaves!</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">147</span>
+<p>He must by no means now be present, since</p>
+<p>To him alone I formerly reveal’d</p>
+<p>That I abstain’d from her when first we married:</p>
+<p>And if he hears her frequent cries, I fear</p>
+<p>That he’ll discover her to be in labor.</p>
+<p>I must dispatch him on some idle errand,</p>
+<p>Until Philumena’s deliver’d.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">148</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "hec_III_VI" id = "hec_III_VI">
+SCENE VI.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter at a distance <span class = "charname">Parmeno</span>, <span class
+= "charname">Sosia</span>, and other slaves with baggage.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Sosia</span></i>). Aye?</p>
+<p>And had you such a wretched voyage, say you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sosia.</span> Oh Parmeno, words can’t express
+how wretched</p>
+<p>A sea-life is.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">149</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Indeed?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sosia.</span> Oh happy Parmeno!</p>
+<p>You little know the dangers you’ve escap’d,</p>
+<p>Who’ve never been at sea.&mdash;For not to dwell</p>
+<p>On other hardships, only think of this!</p>
+<p>I was on shipboard thirty days or more,</p>
+<p>In constant fear of sinking all the while,</p>
+<p>The winds so contrary, such stormy weather!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Dreadful!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sosia.</span> I found it so, I promise you.</p>
+<p>In short, were I assur’d I must return,</p>
+<p>’Fore Heaven, Parmeno, I’d run away,</p>
+<p>Rather than go on board a ship again.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> You have been apt enough to think
+of that</p>
+<p>On slighter reasons, Sosia, before now.</p>
+<p>&mdash;But yonder’s my young master Pamphilus</p>
+<p>Standing before that door.&mdash;Go in! I’ll to him,</p>
+<p>And see if he has any business for me.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exeunt <span class = "charname">Sosia</span>, and the rest of the slaves
+with the baggage.</p>
+
+<p>Master, are you here still? (<i>To <span class =
+"charname">Pamphilus</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Oh Parmeno!</p>
+<p>I waited for you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> What’s your pleasure, Sir?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Run to the Citadel.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">150</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Who?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> You.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> The Citadel!</p>
+<p>For what?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">550</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Find out one Callidemides,</p>
+<p>My landlord of Mycone, who came over</p>
+<p>In the same ship with me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> A plague upon it!</p>
+<p>Would not one swear that he had made a vow</p>
+<p>To break my wind, if he came home in safety,</p>
+<p>With running on his errands?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Away, Sirrah!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> What message? must I only find him
+out?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Yes; tell him that it is not in my
+power</p>
+<p>To meet him there to-day, as I appointed;</p>
+<p>That he mayn’t wait for me in vain.&mdash;Hence; fly!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> But I don’t know him, if I see him,
+Sir.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> (<i>impatiently</i>). Well; I’ll
+describe him, so you can not miss him.</p>
+<p>&mdash;A large, red, frizzle-pated, gross, blear-eyed,</p>
+<p>Ill-looking fellow.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Plague on him, say I!</p>
+<p>&mdash;What if he should not come, Sir, must I wait</p>
+<p>Till evening for him?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">151</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Wait.&mdash;Be quick!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Be quick?</p>
+<p>I can’t be quick,&mdash;I’m so much tir’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "hec_III_VII" id = "hec_III_VII">
+SCENE VII.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Pamphilos</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene split">
+
+<p>He’s gone.</p>
+<p>What shall I do? Alas! I scarcely know</p>
+<p>How to conceal, as Myrrhina desir’d,</p>
+<p>Her daughter’s labor. Yet I pity her;</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>And what I can, consistent with my duty,</p>
+<p>I am resolv’d to do: and yet my parents</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>And what I can, I am resolv’d to do,</p>
+<p>Consistent with my duty: for my parents</p>
+<p>Must be obey’d before my love.&mdash;But see!</p>
+<p>My father and Phidippus come this way.</p>
+<p>How I shall act, Heav’n knows.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">152</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "hec_III_VIII" id = "hec_III_VIII">
+SCENE VIII.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter at a distance <span class = "charname">Laches</span> and <span
+class = "charname">Phidippus</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Did not you say</p>
+<p>She only waited my son’s coming?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> Aye.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> They say that he’s arriv’d. Let us
+return then!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> (<i>behind</i>). What reason I
+shall frame to give my father,</p>
+<p>For not recalling her, I can not tell.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> (<i>overhearing</i>). Whose voice
+was that?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> (<i>to himself</i>). And yet I am
+resolv’d</p>
+<p>To stand to my first purpose.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">551</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> (<i>seeing <span class =
+"charname">Pamphilus</span></i>). He himself,</p>
+<p>Whom I was speaking of!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> (<i>going up</i>). My father, save
+you!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Save you, my son!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> Pamphilus, welcome home!</p>
+<p>I’m glad to see you safe, and in good health.
+</p>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> I do believe it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Are you just now come?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Just now, Sir.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Well; and tell me, Pamphilus,</p>
+<p>What has our kinsman Phania left us?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">153</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Ah, Sir,</p>
+<p>He, his whole lifetime, was a man of pleasure,</p>
+<p>And such men seldom much enrich their heirs.</p>
+<p>Yet he has left at least this praise behind him,</p>
+<p>“While he liv’d, he liv’d well.”</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> And have you brought</p>
+<p>Nothing home with you but this single sentence?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> What he has left, though small, is
+of advantage.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Advantage? No, it is a
+disadvantage:</p>
+<p>For I could wish he was alive and well.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> That you may safely; for your
+wishing for’t</p>
+<p>Will never bring the man to life again:</p>
+<p>Yet I know well enough which you’d like best. (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Pamphilus</span></i>). Phidippus order’d that Philumena</p>
+<p>Should be sent over to him yesterday.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Say that you order’d it. (<i>Aside to <span class =
+"charname">Phidippus</span>, thrusting him.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> (<i>aside to <span class =
+"charname">Laches</span></i>). Don’t thrust me so.&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>I did. (<i>Aloud.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> But now he’ll send her home
+again.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> I will.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Nay, nay, I know the whole
+affair.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">154</span>
+<p>Since my arrival, I have heard it all.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Now plague upon these envious
+tale-bearers,</p>
+<p>Who are so glad to fetch and carry news!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Phidippus</span></i>). That I’ve endeavor’d to deserve no
+blame</p>
+<p>From any of the family, I’m conscious.</p>
+<p>Were it my inclination to relate</p>
+<p>How true I’ve been, how kind and gentle tow’rd her,</p>
+<p>I well might do it: but I rather choose</p>
+<p>You should collect it from herself. For when</p>
+<p>She, although now there’s enmity between us,</p>
+<p>Bespeaks me fair, you will the sooner credit</p>
+<p>My disposition tow’rd her. And I call</p>
+<p>The Gods to witness that this separation</p>
+<p>Has not arisen from my fault. But since</p>
+<p>She thinks it is beneath her to comply</p>
+<p>With Sostrata, and bear my mother’s temper;</p>
+<p>And since no other means are to be found</p>
+<p>Of reconciliation, I, Phidippus,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">552</span>
+<p>Must leave my mother or Philumena.</p>
+<p>Duty then calls me to regard my mother.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> My Pamphilus, I can not be
+displeas’d</p>
+<p>That you prefer to all the world a parent.</p>
+<p>But take heed your resentment don’t transport you</p>
+<p>Beyond the bounds of reason, Pamphilus.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Ah, what resentment can I bear to
+her,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">155</span>
+<p>Who ne’er did any thing I’d wish undone,</p>
+<p>But has so often deserv’d well of me?</p>
+<p>I love her, own her worth, and languish for her;</p>
+<p>For I have known her tenderness of soul:</p>
+<p>And Heaven grant that with some other husband</p>
+<p>She find that happiness she miss’d in me;</p>
+<p>From whom the strong hand of necessity</p>
+<p>Divorces her forever!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> That event</p>
+<p>’Tis in your pow’r to hinder.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> If you’re wise,</p>
+<p>Take your wife home again!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> I can not, father.</p>
+<p>I must not slack my duty to my mother. (<i>Going.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Where are you going?</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Pamphilus</span>.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "hec_III_IX" id = "hec_III_IX">
+SCENE IX.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Manent <span class = "charname">Laches</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Phidippus</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> How perverse is this!
+(<i>Angrily.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Did not I say he’d take it ill,
+Phidippus,</p>
+<p>And therefore begg’d you to send back your daughter?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> ’Fore Heaven I did not think him
+such a churl.</p>
+<p>What! does he fancy I’ll go cringing to him?</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">156</span>
+<p>No;&mdash;if he’ll take his wife he may:&mdash;if not,</p>
+<p>Let him refund her portion;&mdash;there’s an end!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> See there now! you’re as fractious
+as himself.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> You’re come back obstinate and
+proud enough</p>
+<p>In conscience, Pamphilus! (<i>Angrily.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> This anger will subside,</p>
+<p>Though he has had some cause to be disturb’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> Because you’ve had a little money
+left you,</p>
+<p>Your minds are so exalted!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> What, d’ye quarrel</p>
+<p>With me too?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> Let him take to-day to think
+on’t,</p>
+<p>And send me word if he shall have her home</p>
+<p>Or not: that if she don’t remain his wife,</p>
+<p>She may be given to another.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit hastily.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">553</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "hec_III_X" id = "hec_III_X">
+SCENE X.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Laches</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>Stay!</p>
+<p>Hear me! one word, Phidippus! Stay!&mdash;He’s gone.</p>
+<p>&mdash;What is’t to me? (<i>Angrily.</i>) E’en let them settle it</p>
+<p>Among themselves; since nor my son, nor he</p>
+<p>Take my advice, nor mind one word I say.</p>
+<p>&mdash;This quarrel shall go round, I promise them:</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">157</span>
+<p>I’ll to my wife, the author of this mischief,</p>
+<p>And vent my spleen and anger upon her.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">158</span>
+<h4 class = "act"><a name = "hec_IV" id = "hec_IV">
+ACT THE FOURTH.</a></h4>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "hec_IV_I" id = "hec_IV_I">
+SCENE I.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Myrrhina</span> hastily.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Myrr.</span> What shall I
+do?&mdash;Confusion!&mdash;which way turn?</p>
+<p>Alas! what answer shall I make my husband?</p>
+<p>For I dare say he heard the infant’s cries,</p>
+<p>He ran so hastily, without a word,</p>
+<p>Into my daughter’s chamber. If he finds</p>
+<p>That she has been deliver’d, what excuse</p>
+<p>To make, for having thus conceal’d her labor,</p>
+<p>I can’t devise.&mdash;But our door creaks!&mdash;’tis he.</p>
+<p>I am undone.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "hec_IV_II" id = "hec_IV_II">
+SCENE II.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Phidippus</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> Soon as my wife perceiv’d</p>
+<p>That I was going to my daughter’s chamber,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">159</span>
+<p>She stole directly out o’doors.&mdash;But there</p>
+<p>She stands.&mdash;Why, how now, Myrrhina?</p>
+<p>Holo, I say! (<i>She affects not to see him.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Myrr.</span> D’ye call me, husband?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> Husband!</p>
+<p>Am I your husband? am I ev’n a man?</p>
+<p>For had you thought me to be either, woman,</p>
+<p>You would not dare to play upon me thus.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Myrr.</span> How!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> How?&mdash;My daughter has been
+brought to bed.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Ha! are you dumb?&mdash;By whom?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Myrr.</span> Is that a question</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">554</span>
+<p>For you, who are her father, to demand?</p>
+<p>Alas! by whom d’ye think, unless her husband?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> So I believe: nor is it for a
+father</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">160</span>
+<p>To suppose otherwise. But yet I wonder</p>
+<p>That you have thus conceal’d her labor from us,</p>
+<p>Especially as she has been deliver’d</p>
+<p>At her full time, and all is as it should be.</p>
+<p>What! Is there such perverseness in your nature,</p>
+<p>As rather to desire the infant’s death,</p>
+<p>Than that his birth should knit the bond of friendship</p>
+<p>Closer betwixt us; rather than my daughter,</p>
+<p>Against your liking, should remain the wife</p>
+<p>Of Pamphilus?&mdash;I thought all this</p>
+<p>Had been their fault, while you’re alone to blame.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Myrr.</span> How wretched am I!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> Would to Heav’n you were!</p>
+<p>&mdash;But now I recollect your conversation</p>
+<p>When first we made this match, you then declar’d</p>
+<p>You’d not endure she should remain the wife</p>
+<p>Of Pamphilus, who follow’d mistresses,</p>
+<p>And pass’d the nights abroad.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Myrr.</span> I had much rather</p>
+<p>He should think any reason than the true one. (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> I knew he kept a mistress; knew it
+long</p>
+<p>Ere you did, Myrrhina; but I could never</p>
+<p>Think that offense so grievous in a youth,</p>
+<p>Seeing ’tis natural to them all: and soon</p>
+<p>The time shall come when he’ll stand self-reprov’d.</p>
+<p>But you, perverse and willful as at first,</p>
+<p>Could take no rest till you had brought away</p>
+<p>Your daughter, and annull’d the match I made:</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">161</span>
+<p>There’s not a circumstance but loudly speaks</p>
+<p>Your evil disposition to the marriage.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Myrr.</span> D’ye think me then so obstinate,
+that I,</p>
+<p>Who am her mother, should betray this spirit,</p>
+<p>Granting the match were of advantage to us?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> Is it for you then to foresee, or
+judge</p>
+<p>What’s of advantage to us? You perhaps</p>
+<p>Have heard from some officious busy-body,</p>
+<p>That they have seen him going to his mistress,</p>
+<p>Or coming from her house: and what of that,</p>
+<p>So it were done discreetly, and but seldom?</p>
+<p>Were it not better that we should dissemble</p>
+<p>Our knowledge of it, than pry into things</p>
+<p>Which to appear to know would make him hate us?</p>
+<p>For could he tear her from his heart at once,</p>
+<p>To whom he’d been so many years attach’d,</p>
+<p>I should not think he were a man, or likely</p>
+<p>To prove a constant husband to my daughter.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Myrr.</span> No more of Pamphilus or my
+offense;</p>
+<p>Since you will have it so!&mdash;Go, find him out;</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">555</span>
+<p>Confer with him alone, and fairly ask him,</p>
+<p>Will he, or no, take back Philumena?</p>
+<p>If he avows his inclination to’t,</p>
+<p>Restore her; but if he refuses it,</p>
+<p>Allow, I’ve ta’en good counsel for my child.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> Grant, he should prove repugnant
+to the match,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">162</span>
+<p>Grant, you perceiv’d this in him, Myrrhina;</p>
+<p>Was not I present! had not I a right</p>
+<p>To be consulted in’t?&mdash;It makes me mad.</p>
+<p>That you should dare to act without my order:</p>
+<p>And I forbid you to remove the child</p>
+<p>Out of this house.&mdash;But what a fool am I,</p>
+<p>Enjoining her obedience to my orders!</p>
+<p>I’ll in, and charge the servants not to suffer</p>
+<p>The infant to be carried forth.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "hec_IV_III" id = "hec_IV_III">
+SCENE III.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Myrrhina</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>No woman more unhappy than myself:</p>
+<p>For how he’d bear it, did he know the whole,</p>
+<p>When he has taken such offense at this,</p>
+<p>Which is of much less consequence, is plain.</p>
+<p>Nor by what means to reconcile him to it,</p>
+<p>Can I devise. After so many ills,</p>
+<p>This only misery there yet remain’d,</p>
+<p>To be oblig’d to educate the child,</p>
+<p>Ignorant of the father’s quality.</p>
+<p>For he, the cruel spoiler of her honor,</p>
+<p>Taking advantage of the night and darkness,</p>
+<p>My daughter was not able to discern</p>
+<p>His person; nor to force a token from him,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">163</span>
+<p>Whereby he might be afterward discover’d:</p>
+<p>But he, at his departure, pluck’d by force</p>
+<p>A ring from off her finger.&mdash;I fear too,</p>
+<p>That Pamphilus will not contain himself,</p>
+<p>Nor longer keep our secret, when he finds</p>
+<p>Another’s child acknowledg’d for his own.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "hec_IV_IV" id = "hec_IV_IV">
+SCENE IV.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Sostrata</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Pamphilus</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Dear son, I’m not to learn that
+you suppose,</p>
+<p>Though you dissemble your suspicions to me,</p>
+<p>That my ill-humor caus’d your wife’s departure.</p>
+<p>But by my trust in Heav’n, and hopes in you,</p>
+<p>I never knowingly did any thing</p>
+<p>To draw her hatred and disgust upon me.</p>
+<p>I always thought you lov’d me, and to-day</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">556</span>
+<p>You have confirm’d my faith: for even now</p>
+<p>Your father has been telling me within,</p>
+<p>How much you held me dearer than your love.</p>
+<p>Now therefore, on my part, I am resolv’d</p>
+<p>To equal you in all good offices;</p>
+<p>That you may know your mother ne’er withholds</p>
+<p>The just rewards of filial piety;</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">164</span>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>Finding it then both meet, my Pamphilus,</p>
+<p>For your repose, as well as my good name,</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>Finding it then both meet for your repose,</p>
+<p>My Pamphilus, as well as my good name,</p>
+<p>I have determin’d to retire directly</p>
+<p>From hence into the country with your father;</p>
+<p>So shall my presence be no obstacle,</p>
+<p>Nor any cause remain, but that your wife</p>
+<p>Return immediately.</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div split -->
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> What thoughts are these?</p>
+<p>Shall her perverseness drive you out of town?</p>
+<p>It shall not be: Nor will I draw, good mother,</p>
+<p>That censure on me, that my obstinacy,</p>
+<p>Not your good-nature, was the cause.&mdash;Besides,</p>
+<p>That you should quit relations, friends, diversions,</p>
+<p>On my account, I can’t allow.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Alas!</p>
+<p>Those things have no allurements for me now.</p>
+<p>While I was young, and ’twas the season for them,</p>
+<p>I had my share, and I am satisfied.</p>
+<p>’Tis now my chief concern to make my age</p>
+<p>Easy to all, that no one may regret</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">165</span>
+<p>My lengthen’d life, nor languish for my death.</p>
+<p>Here, although undeservedly, I see</p>
+<p>My presence odious: I had best retire:</p>
+<p>So shall I best cut off all discontent,</p>
+<p>Absolve myself from this unjust suspicion,</p>
+<p>And humor them. Permit me then to shun</p>
+<p>The common scandal thrown upon the sex.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> How fortunate in every thing but
+one,</p>
+<p>Having so good a mother,&mdash;such a wife!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> Patience, my Pamphilus! Is’t
+possible</p>
+<p>You can’t endure one inconvenience in her?</p>
+<p>If in all else, as I believe, you like her,</p>
+<p>Dear son, be rul’d by me, and take her home!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Wretch that I am!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> And I am wretched too:</p>
+<p>For this grieves me, my son, no less than you.</p>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene -->
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "hec_IV_V" id = "hec_IV_V">
+SCENE V.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Laches</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> I have been standing at a
+distance, wife,</p>
+<p>And overheard your conversation with him.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">166</span>
+<p>You have done wisely to subdue your temper,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">557</span>
+<p>And freely to comply with what, perhaps,</p>
+<p>Hereafter must be done.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> And let it be!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Now then retire with me into the
+country:</p>
+<p>There I shall bear with you, and you with me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> I hope we shall.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Go in then, and pack up</p>
+<p>The necessaries you would carry with you.</p>
+<p>Away!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Sostra.</span> I shall obey your orders.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Father!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Well, Pamphilus?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> My mother leave the town?</p>
+<p>By no means.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Why?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Because I’m yet uncertain</p>
+<p>What I shall do about my wife.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> How’s that?</p>
+<p>What <i>would</i> you do but take her home again?</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> ’Tis what I wish for, and can
+scarce forbear.</p>
+<p>But I’ll not alter what I first design’d.</p>
+<p>What’s best I’ll follow: and I’m well convinc’d</p>
+<p>No other means remain to make them friends,</p>
+<p>But that I should not take her home again.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> ’Tis what I wish for, and can
+scarce forbear it.</p>
+<p>But I’ll not alter what I first design’d.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">167</span>
+<p>What’s best I’ll follow: and I’m well convinc’d</p>
+<p>That there’s no other way to make them friends,</p>
+<p>But that I should not take her home again.</p>
+
+<p class = "allclear">&nbsp;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> You don’t know that: but ’tis of
+no importance</p>
+<p>Whether they’re friends or not, when Sostrata</p>
+<p>Is gone into the country. We old folks</p>
+<p>Are odious to the young. We’d best retire.</p>
+<p>In short, we’re grown a by-word, Pamphilus,</p>
+<p>“The old man and old woman.”&mdash;But I see</p>
+<p>Phidippus coming in good time. Let’s meet him!</p>
+
+</div>
+
+</div> <!-- end div scene -->
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">168</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "hec_IV_VI" id = "hec_IV_VI">
+SCENE VI.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Phidippus</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Philumena</span> within</i>). I’m angry with you&mdash;’fore
+Heaven, very angry,</p>
+<p>Philumena!&mdash;You’ve acted shamefully.</p>
+<p>Though you indeed have some excuse for’t, seeing</p>
+<p>Your mother urg’d you to’t; but she has none.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> You’re come upon us in good time,
+Phidippus;</p>
+<p>Just in the time we wanted you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> What now?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> What answer shall I give them! how
+explain? (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Inform your daughter, Sostrata
+will hence</p>
+<p>Into the country; so Philumena</p>
+<p>Need not dread coming home again.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> Ah, friend!</p>
+<p>Your wife has never been in fault at all:</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">558</span>
+<p>All this has sprung from my wife Myrrhina.</p>
+<p>The case is alter’d. She confounds us, Laches.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> So that I may not take her home
+again,</p>
+<p>Confound affairs who will! (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> I, Pamphilus,</p>
+<p>Would fain, if possible, make this alliance</p>
+<p>Perpetual between our families.</p>
+<p>But if you can not like it, take the child.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> He knows of her delivery.
+Confusion! (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> The child! what child?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> We’ve got a grandson, Laches.</p>
+<p>For when my daughter left your house, she was</p>
+<p>With child, it seems, although I never knew it</p>
+<p>Before this very day.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> ’Fore Heav’n, good news!</p>
+<p>And I rejoice to hear a child is born,</p>
+<p>And that your daughter had a safe delivery.</p>
+<p>But what a woman is your wife, Phidippus?</p>
+<p>Of what a disposition? to conceal</p>
+<p>Such an event as this? I can’t express</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">170</span>
+
+<p class = "second">
+How very much I think she was to blame.</p>
+
+<p>How much I think she was to blame.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> This pleases me no more than you,
+good Laches.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Although my mind was in suspense
+before,</p>
+<p>My doubts all vanish now. I’ll ne’er recall her,</p>
+<p>Since she brings home with her another’s child. (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> There is no room for choice now,
+Pamphilus.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Confusion! (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> We’ve oft wish’d to see the
+day</p>
+<p>When you should have a child to call you father.</p>
+<p>That day’s now come. The Gods be thank’d!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Undone! (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Recall your wife, and don’t oppose
+my will.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> If she had wish’d for children by
+me, father,</p>
+<p>Or to remain my wife, I’m very sure</p>
+<p>She never would have hid this matter from me:</p>
+<p>But now I see her heart divorc’d from me,</p>
+<p>And think we never can agree hereafter,</p>
+<p>Wherefore should I recall her?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> A young woman</p>
+<p>Did as her mother had persuaded her.</p>
+<p>Is that so wonderful? and do you think</p>
+<p>To find a woman without any fault?</p>
+<p>&mdash;Or is’t because the <i>men</i> are ne’er to blame?
+(<i>Ironically.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> Consider with yourselves then,
+gentlemen,</p>
+<p>Whether you’ll part with her, or call her home.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">171</span>
+<p>What my wife does, I can not help, you know.</p>
+<p>Settle it as you please, you’ve my consent,</p>
+<p>But for the child, what shall be done with him?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> A pretty question truly! come what
+may,</p>
+<p>Send his own bantling home to him of course,</p>
+<p>That we may educate him.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">559</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> When his own</p>
+<p>Father abandons him, I educate him?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> What said you? how! not educate
+him, say you?</p>
+<p>Shall we expose him rather, Pamphilus?</p>
+<p>What madness is all this?&mdash;My breath and blood!</p>
+<p>I can contain no longer. You oblige me</p>
+<p>To speak, against my will, before Phidippus:</p>
+<p>Think you I’m ignorant whence flow those tears?</p>
+<p>Or why you’re thus disorder’d and distress’d?</p>
+<p>First, when you gave as a pretense, <i>you could not</i></p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">172</span>
+<p><i>Recall your wife from reverence to your mother</i>,</p>
+<p>She promis’d to retire into the country.</p>
+<p>But now, since that excuse is taken from you,</p>
+<p>You’ve made <i>her private lying-in</i> another.</p>
+<p>You are mistaken if you think me blind</p>
+<p>To your intentions&mdash;That you might at last</p>
+<p>Bring home your stray affections to your wife,</p>
+<p>How long a time to wean you from your mistress</p>
+<p>Did I allow? your wild expense upon her</p>
+<p>How patiently I bore? I press’d, entreated,</p>
+<p>That you would take a wife. ’Twas time, I said.</p>
+<p>At my repeated instances, you married,</p>
+<p>And, as in duty bound to do, complied:</p>
+<p>But now your heart is gone abroad again</p>
+<p>After your mistress, whom to gratify,</p>
+<p>You throw this wanton insult on your wife.</p>
+<p>For I can plainly see you are relaps’d</p>
+<p>Into your former life again.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Me?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> You.</p>
+<p>And ’tis base in you to invent false causes</p>
+<p>Of quarrel with your wife, that you may live</p>
+<p>In quiet with your mistress, having put</p>
+<p>This witness from you. This your wife perceiv’d.</p>
+<p>For was there any other living reason</p>
+<p>Wherefore she should depart from you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> He’s right,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">173</span>
+<p>That was the very thing.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> I’ll take my oath</p>
+<p>’Twas none of those that you have mention’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Ah!</p>
+<p>Recall your wife: or tell me why you will not.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> ’Tis not convenient now.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Take home the child then;</p>
+<p>For <i>he</i> at least is not in fault. I’ll see</p>
+<p>About the mother afterward.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> (<i>to himself</i>). Ev’ry way</p>
+<p>I am a wretch, nor know I what to do:</p>
+<p>My father has me in the toils, and I,</p>
+<p>By struggling to get loose, am more entangled.</p>
+<p>I’ll hence, since present I shall profit little.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">560</span>
+<p>For I believe they’ll hardly educate</p>
+<p>The child against my will; especially</p>
+<p>Seeing my step-mother will second me.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "hec_IV_VII" id = "hec_IV_VII">
+SCENE VII.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Manent <span class = "charname">Phidippus</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Laches</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Going? how’s that? and give me no
+plain answer!</p>
+<p>&mdash;D’ye think he’s in his senses?&mdash;Well&mdash;send home</p>
+<p>The child to me, Phidippus. I’ll take care on’t.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">174</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> I will.&mdash;I can not wonder
+that my wife</p>
+<p>Took this so ill. Women are passionate,</p>
+<p>And can’t away with such affronts as these.</p>
+<p>This was their quarrel: nay she told me so,</p>
+<p>Though before him I did not care to speak on’t:</p>
+<p>Nor did I credit it at first; but now</p>
+<p>’Tis evident, and I can plainly see</p>
+<p>He has no stomach to a wife.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Phidippus,</p>
+<p>How shall I act? What’s your advice?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> How act?</p>
+<p>I think ’twere best to seek this wench, his mistress.</p>
+<p>Let us expostulate the matter with her,</p>
+<p>Speak to her roundly, nay, e’en threaten her,</p>
+<p>If she has aught to do with him hereafter.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> I’ll follow your advice.&mdash;Ho,
+boy! (<i>Enter a boy</i>) run over</p>
+<p>To Bacchis. Tell her to come forth to me.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit boy.</p>
+<p>&mdash;I must beseech you also to continue</p>
+<p>Your kind assistance to me in this business.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> Ah, Laches! I have told you all
+along.</p>
+<p>And I repeat it now, that ’tis my wish</p>
+<p>To render our alliance firm and lasting,</p>
+<p>If possible, as I have hopes it will be.</p>
+<p>&mdash;But would you have me present at your conference</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">175</span>
+<p>With Bacchis?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> No; go, seek the child a
+nurse.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Phidippus</span>.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "hec_IV_VIII" id = "hec_IV_VIII">
+SCENE VIII.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Bacchis</span> attended by her Women.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> (<i>to herself</i>). ’Tis not for
+nothing Laches wants to see me;</p>
+<p>And, or I’m much deceiv’d, I guess the cause.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> (<i>to himself</i>). I must take
+care my anger don’t transport me</p>
+<p>Beyond the bounds of prudence, which may hinder</p>
+<p>My gaining my design on her, and urge me</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">561</span>
+<p>To do what I may afterward repent.</p>
+<p>I’ll to her.&mdash; (<i>Going up.</i>) Save you, Bacchis!
+</p>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> Save you, Laches!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Bacchis, I do not doubt but you’re
+surpris’d</p>
+<p>That I should send the boy to call you forth.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> Aye, and I’m fearful too, when I
+reflect</p>
+<p>Both who and what I am: lest my vocation</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">176</span>
+<p>Should prejudice me in your good opinion.</p>
+<p>My conduct I can fully justify.</p>
+
+<p class = "second first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Speak but the truth, you’re in no
+danger, woman.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> If you speak truth, you’re in no
+danger, woman.</p>
+<p>For I’m arriv’d at that age when a trespass</p>
+<p>Would not be easily forgiven in me.</p>
+<p>Wherefore I study to proceed with caution,</p>
+<p>And to do nothing rashly. If you act,</p>
+<p>And will continue to act honestly,</p>
+<p>It were ungenerous to do you wrong,</p>
+<p>And seeing you deserve it not, unjust.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> Truly, this conduct asks my
+highest thanks;</p>
+<p>For he who does the wrong, and then asks pardon,</p>
+<p>Makes but a sorry reparation for it.</p>
+<p>But what’s your pleasure?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> You receive the visits</p>
+<p>Of my son Pamphilus&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> Ah!&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Let me speak.</p>
+<p>Before he married I endur’d your love.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Stay! I’ve not finish’d all I have to say.&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>He is now married. You then, while ’tis time,</p>
+<p>Seek out another and more constant friend.</p>
+<p>For he will not be fond of you forever,</p>
+<p>Nor you, good faith, forever in your bloom.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> Who tells you that I still
+receive the visits</p>
+<p>Of Pamphilus?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">177</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> His step-mother.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> I?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> You.</p>
+<p>And therefore has withdrawn her daughter: therefore</p>
+<p>Meant secretly to kill the new-born child.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> Did I know any thing, to gain
+your credit,</p>
+<p>More sacred than an oath, I’d use it, Laches,</p>
+<p>In solemn protestation to assure you</p>
+<p>That I have had no commerce with your son</p>
+<p>Since he was married.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Good girl! but dy’e know</p>
+<p>What I would farther have you do?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> Inform me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Go to the women here, and offer
+them</p>
+<p>The same oath. Satisfy their minds, and clear</p>
+<p>Yourself from all reproach in this.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> I’ll do’t;</p>
+<p>Although I’m sure no other of my calling</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">562</span>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">178</span>
+<p>Would show herself before a married woman</p>
+<p>Upon the same occasion.&mdash;But it hurts me</p>
+<p>To see your son suspected on false grounds;</p>
+<p>And that, to those who owe him better thoughts,</p>
+<p>His conduct should seem light. For he deserves</p>
+<p>All my best offices.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Your conversation has much wrought
+upon me,</p>
+<p>Gain’d my good-will, and alter’d my opinion.</p>
+<p>For not the women only thought thus of you,</p>
+<p>But I believ’d it too. Now therefore, since</p>
+<p>I’ve found you better than my expectation,</p>
+<p>Prove still the same, and make my friendship sure.</p>
+<p>If otherwise&mdash;But I’ll contain myself. I’ll not</p>
+<p>Say any thing severe.&mdash;But I advise you,</p>
+<p>Rather experience what a friend I am,</p>
+<p>Than what an enemy.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> I’ll do my best.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "hec_IV_IX" id = "hec_IV_IX">
+SCENE IX.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Phidippus</span> and a Nurse.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> (<i>to the Nurse</i>). Nay, you
+shall want for nothing at my house;</p>
+<p>I’ll give you all that’s needful in abundance;</p>
+<p>But when you’ve eat and drank your fill yourself,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">179</span>
+<p>Take care to satisfy the infant too.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> I see the father of Philumena</p>
+<p>Coming this way. He brings the child a nurse.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Phidippus, Bacchis swears most solemnly&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> Is this she?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Aye.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> They never mind the Gods,</p>
+<p>Nor do I think the Gods mind them.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> Here are</p>
+<p>My waiting-women: take them, and extort</p>
+<p>By any kind of torment the truth from them.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Our present business is, I take it, this:</p>
+<p>That I should win the wife of Pamphilus</p>
+<p>To return home; which so I but effect,</p>
+<p>I sha’n’t regret the same of having done</p>
+<p>What others of my calling would avoid.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Phidippus, we’ve discover’d that
+in fact</p>
+<p>We both suspected our wives wrongfully.</p>
+<p>Let’s now try her: for if your wife perceives</p>
+<p>Her own suspicions also are unjust,</p>
+<p>She’ll drop her anger. If my son’s offended</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">180</span>
+<p>Because his wife conceal’d her labor from him,</p>
+<p>That’s but a trifle; he’ll be soon appeas’d.</p>
+<p>&mdash;And truly I see nothing in this matter</p>
+<p>That need occasion a divorce.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">563</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> ’Fore Heaven,</p>
+<p>I wish that all may end well.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Here she is:</p>
+<p>Examine her; she’ll give you satisfaction.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> What needs all this to Me! You
+know my mind</p>
+<p>Already, Laches: do but make them easy.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Bacchis, be sure you keep your
+promise with me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> Shall I go in then for that
+purpose?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> Aye.</p>
+<p>Go in; remove their doubts, and satisfy them.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> I will; although I’m very sure my
+presence</p>
+<p>Will be unwelcome to them; for a wife,</p>
+<p>When parted from her husband, to a mistress</p>
+<p>Is a sure enemy.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Lach.</span> They’ll be your friends,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">181</span>
+<p>When once they know the reason of your coming.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phid.</span> Aye, aye, they’ll be your friends,
+I promise you,</p>
+<p>When they once learn your errand; for you’ll free</p>
+<p>Them from mistake, yourself from all suspicion.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> I’m cover’d with confusion. I’m
+asham’d</p>
+<p>To see Philumena.&mdash; (<i>To her women.</i>) You two in after
+me.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exeunt <span class = "charname">Phidippus</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Bacchis</span>, etc.</p>
+
+<p class = "stagedir">
+<span class = "charname">Laches</span> alone.</p>
+
+<p>What is there that could please me more than this,</p>
+<p>That Bacchis, without any loss, should gain</p>
+<p>Favor from them, and do me service too?</p>
+<p>For if she really has withdrawn herself</p>
+<p>From Pamphilus, it will increase, she knows,</p>
+<p>Her reputation, interest, and honor:</p>
+<p>Since by this generous act she will at once</p>
+<p>Oblige my son, and make us all her friends.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">182</span>
+<h4 class = "act"><a name = "hec_V" id = "hec_V">
+ACT THE FIFTH.</a></h4>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "hec_V_I" id = "hec_V_I">
+SCENE I.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Parmeno</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene split">
+
+<p>I’ faith my master holds my labor cheap,</p>
+<p>To send me to the Citadel for nothing,</p>
+<p>Where I have waited the whole day in vain</p>
+<p>For his Myconian, Callidemides.</p>
+<p>There was I sitting, gaping like a fool,</p>
+<p>And running up, if any one appear’d,</p>
+<p>&mdash;“Are you, Sir, a Myconian?”&mdash;“No,
+not&nbsp;I.”&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>&mdash;“But your name’s Callidemides?”&mdash;“Not
+it.”&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>“And have not you a guest here of the name</p>
+<p>Of Pamphilus?”&mdash;No&mdash;no&mdash;All No.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>“And have not you a guest here of the name</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">564</span>
+<p>Of Pamphilus?”&mdash;All answer’d, No.</p>
+<p>In short, I don’t believe there’s such a man.</p>
+<p>At last I grew asham’d, and so sneak’d off.</p>
+<p>&mdash;But is’t not Bacchis that I see come forth</p>
+<p>From our new kinsman? What can she do there?</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">183</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "hec_V_II" id = "hec_V_II">
+SCENE II.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Bacchis</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> Oh Parmeno, I’m glad I’ve met
+with you.</p>
+<p>Run quick to Pamphilus.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> On what account?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> Tell him that I desire he’d
+come.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> To you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> No; to Philumena.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Why? what’s the matter?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> Nothing to you; so ask no
+questions.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Must I</p>
+<p>Say nothing else?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> Yes; tell him too,</p>
+<p>That Myrrhina acknowledges the ring,</p>
+<p>Which formerly he gave me, as her daughter’s.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> I understand you. But is that
+all?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> All.</p>
+<p>He’ll come the moment that you tell him that.</p>
+<p>What! do you loiter?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> No, i’ faith, not I.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">184</span>
+<p>I have not had it in my pow’r, I’ve been</p>
+<p>So bandied to and fro, sent here and there,</p>
+<p>Trotting, and running up and down all day.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "hec_V_III" id = "hec_V_III">
+SCENE III.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Bacchis</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p>What joy have I procur’d to Pamphilus</p>
+<p>By coming here to-day! what blessings brought him!</p>
+<p>And from how many sorrows rescued him!</p>
+<p>His son, by his and their means nearly lost,</p>
+
+<p class = "second">
+I sav’d; a wife he meant to put away,</p>
+
+<p>I’ve sav’d; a wife he meant to put away,</p>
+<p>I have restor’d; and from the strong suspicions</p>
+<p>Of Laches and Phidippus set him free.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Of all these things the ring has been the cause.</p>
+<p>For I remember, near ten months ago,</p>
+<p>That he came running home to me one evening,</p>
+<p>Breathless, alone, and much inflam’d with wine,</p>
+<p>Bringing this ring. I was alarm’d at it.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p>“Prithee, my dearest Pamphilus, said I,</p>
+<p>Whence comes all this confusion? whence this ring?</p>
+<p>Tell me, my love.”&mdash;He put me off at first:</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">565</span>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">185</span>
+<p>Perceiving this, it made me apprehend</p>
+<p>Something of serious import, and I urg’d him</p>
+<p>More earnestly to tell me.&mdash;He confess’d</p>
+<p>That, as he came along, he had committed</p>
+<p>A rape upon a virgin&mdash;whom he knew not&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>And as she struggled, forc’d from her that ring:</p>
+<p>Which Myrrhina now seeing on my finger,</p>
+<p>Immediately acknowledg’d, and inquir’d</p>
+<p>How I came by it. I told all this story:</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">186</span>
+<p>Whence ’twas discover’d that Philumena</p>
+<p>Was she who had been ravish’d, and the child</p>
+<p>Conceiv’d from that encounter.&mdash;That I’ve been</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">187</span>
+<p>The instrument of all these joys I’m glad,</p>
+<p>Though other courtesans would not be so;</p>
+<p>Nor is it for our profit and advantage</p>
+<p>That lovers should be happy in their marriage.</p>
+<p>But never will I, for my calling’s sake,</p>
+<p>Suffer ingratitude to taint my mind.</p>
+<p>I found him, while occasion gave him leave,</p>
+<p>Kind, pleasant, and good-humor’d: and this marriage</p>
+<p>Happen’d unluckily, I must confess.</p>
+<p>Yet I did nothing to estrange his love;</p>
+<p>And since I have receiv’d much kindness from him,</p>
+<p>’Tis fit I should endure this one affliction.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "hec_V_IV" id = "hec_V_IV">
+SCENE IV.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter at a distance <span class = "charname">Pamphilus</span> and <span
+class = "charname">Parmeno</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Be sure you prove this to me,
+Parmeno;</p>
+<p>Prithee, be sure on’t. Do not bubble me</p>
+<p>With false and short-liv’d joy.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> ’Tis even so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> For certain?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Aye, for certain.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">188</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> I’m in heaven,</p>
+<p>If this be so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> You’ll find it very true.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Hold, I beseech you.&mdash;I’m
+afraid I think</p>
+<p>One thing, while you relate another.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Well?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> You said, I think, “that Myrrhina
+discover’d</p>
+<p>The ring on Bacchis’ finger was her own.”</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> She did.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> “The same I gave her formerly.</p>
+<p>&mdash;And Bacchis bade you run and tell me this.”</p>
+<p>Is it not so?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> I tell you, Sir, it is.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Who is more fortunate, more bless’d
+than I?</p>
+<p>&mdash;What shall I give you for this news? what? what?</p>
+<p>I don’t know.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">566</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> But I know.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> What?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Just nothing.</p>
+<p>For I see nothing of advantage to you,</p>
+<p>Or in the message, or myself.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Shall I</p>
+<p>Permit you to go unrewarded; you,</p>
+<p>Who have restor’d me ev’n from death to life?</p>
+<p>Ah, Parmeno, d’ye think me so ungrateful?</p>
+<p>&mdash;But yonder’s Bacchis standing at the door.</p>
+<p>She waits for me, I fancy. I’ll go to her.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">189</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> (<i>seeing him</i>). Pamphilus,
+save you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Bacchis! my dear Bacchis!</p>
+<p>My guardian! my protectress!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> All is well:</p>
+<p>And I’m o’erjoy’d at it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Your actions speak it.</p>
+<p>You’re still the charming girl I ever found you.</p>
+<p>Your presence, company, and conversation,</p>
+<p>Come where you will, bring joy and pleasure with them.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> And you, in faith, are still the
+same as ever,</p>
+<p>The sweetest, most engaging man on earth.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Ha! ha! ha! that speech from you,
+dear Bacchis?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> You lov’d your wife with reason,
+Pamphilus:</p>
+<p>Never that I remember, did I see her</p>
+<p>Before to-day; and she’s a charming woman.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Speak truth.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> So Heaven help me, Pamphilus!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Say, have you told my father any
+part</p>
+<p>Of this tale?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> Not a word.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Nor is there need.</p>
+<p>Let all be hush! I would not have it here,</p>
+<p>As in a comedy, where every thing</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">190</span>
+<p>Is known to every body. Here those persons</p>
+<p>Whom it concerns already know it; they,</p>
+<p>Who ’twere not meet should know it, never shall.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Bacch.</span> I promise you it may with ease be
+hid.</p>
+<p>Myrrhina told Phidippus that my oath</p>
+<p>Convinc’d her, and she held you clear.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Good! good!</p>
+<p>All will be well, and all, I hope, end well.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> May I know, Sir, what good I’ve
+done to-day?</p>
+<p>And what’s the meaning of your conversation?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> No.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> I suspect, however.&mdash;“I
+restore him</p>
+<p>From death to life”&mdash;which way?&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Oh, Parmeno,</p>
+<p>You can’t conceive the good you’ve done to-day;</p>
+<p>From what distress you have deliver’d me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Ah, but I know, and did it with
+design.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">567</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Oh, I’m convinced of that.
+(<i>Ironically.</i>)</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">191</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> Did Parmeno</p>
+<p>Ever let slip an opportunity</p>
+<p>Of doing what he ought, Sir?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Pam.</span> Parmeno,</p>
+<p>In after me!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Par.</span> I follow.&mdash;By my troth,</p>
+<p>I’ve done more good to-day, without design,</p>
+<p>Than ever with design in all my life.&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>Clap your hands!</p>
+
+</div>
+
+</div> <!-- end div play -->
+
+
+<p class = "illustration">
+<img src = "images/phormio.jpg" width = "265" height = "400"
+alt = "comic masks">
+</p>
+
+<div class = "play">
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">568</span>
+
+<h2 class = "title"><a name = "phormio" id = "phormio">
+PHORMIO.</a></h2>
+
+<hr class = "mid">
+
+<h5>PERSONS REPRESENTED.</h5>
+
+<table class = "cast" summary = "cast of characters">
+<tr>
+<td class = "castleft">
+<p class = "charname">Prologue.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Demipho.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Chremes.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Antipho.</p>
+<p class = "charname">PhÊdria.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Cratinus.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Crito.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Hegio.</p>
+</td>
+<td class = "castright">
+<p class = "charname">Phormio.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Dorio.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Geta.</p>
+<p><i><span class = "charname">Davus</span>, and other Servants.</i></p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p class = "charname">Nausistrata.</p>
+<p class = "charname">Sophrona.</p>
+</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class = "scene" colspan = "2">
+<p class = "smallcaps">Scene, Athens.</p>
+</td>
+</tr>
+</table>
+
+<hr class = "mid">
+
+<h5><a name = "phor_prolog" id = "phor_prolog">
+PROLOGUE.</a></h5>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "indent">
+<span class = "firstword">The</span> Old Bard finding it impossible</p>
+<p>To draw our Poet from the love of verse,</p>
+<p>And bury him in indolence, attempts</p>
+<p>By calumny to scare him from the stage;</p>
+<p>Pretending that in all his former plays</p>
+<p>The characters are low, and mean the style;</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">202</span>
+<p>Because he ne’er describ’d a mad-brain’d youth,</p>
+<p>Who in his fits of frenzy thought he saw</p>
+<p>A hind, the dogs in full cry after her;</p>
+<p>Her too imploring and beseeching him</p>
+<p>To give her aid.&mdash;But did he understand</p>
+<p>That, when the piece was first produc’d, it ow’d</p>
+<p>More to the actor than himself its safety,</p>
+<p>He would not be thus bold to give offense.</p>
+<p>&mdash;But if there’s any one who says, or thinks,</p>
+<p>“That had not the Old Bard assail’d him first,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">203</span>
+<p>Our Poet could not have devis’d a Prologue,</p>
+<p>Having no matter for abuse;”&mdash;let such</p>
+<p>Receive for answer, “that although the prize</p>
+<p>To all advent’rers is held out in common,</p>
+<p>The Veteran Poet meant to drive our Bard</p>
+<p>From study into want: <i>He</i> therefore chose</p>
+<p>To answer, though he would not first offend.</p>
+<p>And had his adversary but have prov’d</p>
+<p>A generous rival, he had had due praise;</p>
+<p>Let him then bear these censures, and reflect</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">569</span>
+<p>Of his own slanders ’tis the due return.</p>
+<p>But henceforth I shall cease to speak of him,</p>
+<p>Although he ceases not himself to rail.”</p>
+<p>But now what I’d request of you, attend:</p>
+<p>To-day I bring a new play, which the Greeks</p>
+<p>Call Epidicazomenos; the Latins,</p>
+<p>From the chief character, name Phormio:</p>
+<p>Phormio, whom you will find a parasite,</p>
+<p>And the chief engine of the plot.&mdash;And now,</p>
+<p>If to our Poet you are well inclin’d,</p>
+<p>Give ear; be favorable; and be silent!</p>
+<p>Let us not meet the same ill fortune now</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">204</span>
+<p>That we before encounter’d, when our troop</p>
+<p>Was by a tumult driven from their place;</p>
+<p>To which the actor’s merit, seconded</p>
+<p>By your good-will and candor, has restor’d us.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">205</span>
+<h4 class = "act"><a name = "phor_I" id = "phor_I">
+ACT THE FIRST.</a></h4>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "phor_I_I" id = "phor_I_I">
+SCENE I.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Davus</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>Geta, my worthy friend and countryman,</p>
+<p>Came to me yesterday: for some time past</p>
+<p>I’ve ow’d him some small balance of account:</p>
+<p>This he desir’d I would make up: I have;</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">206</span>
+<p>And brought it with me: for his master’s son,</p>
+<p>I am inform’d, has lately got a wife:</p>
+<p>So I suppose this sum is scrap’d together</p>
+<p>For a bride-gift. Alack, how hard it is</p>
+<p>That he, who is already poor, should still</p>
+<p>Throw in his mite to swell the rich man’s heap!</p>
+<p>What he scarce, ounce by ounce, from short allowance,</p>
+<p>Sorely defrauding his own appetite,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">207</span>
+<p>Has spar’d, poor wretch! shall she sweep all at once,</p>
+<p>Unheeding with what labor it was got?</p>
+<p>Geta, moreover, shall be struck for more;</p>
+<p>Another gift, when madam’s brought to bed;</p>
+<p>Another too, when master’s birthday’s kept,</p>
+<p>And they initiate him.&mdash;&mdash;All this mamma</p>
+<p>Shall carry off, the bantling her excuse.</p>
+<p>But is that Geta?</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "phor_I_II" id = "phor_I_II">
+SCENE II.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Geta</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta</span> (<i>at entering.</i>) If a
+red-hair’d man</p>
+<p>Inquire for me&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">570</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> No more! he’s here.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Oh, Davus!</p>
+<p>The very man that I was going after.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Here, take this! (<i>Gives a
+purse.</i>) ’Tis all told: you’ll find it right;</p>
+<p>The sum I ow’d you.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">208</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Honest, worthy Davus!</p>
+<p>I thank you for your punctuality.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> And well you may, as men and
+times go now,</p>
+<p>Things, by my troth, are come to such a pass,</p>
+<p>If a man pays you what he owes, you’re much</p>
+<p>Beholden to him.&mdash;But, pray, why so sad?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> I?&mdash;You can scarce imagine in
+what dread.</p>
+<p>What danger I am in.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> How so?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> I’ll tell you,</p>
+<p>So you will keep it secret.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Away, fool!</p>
+<p>The man whose faith in money you have tried,</p>
+<p>D’ye fear to trust with words?&mdash;And to what end</p>
+<p>Should I deceive you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> List, then!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> I’m all ear.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> D’ye know our old man’s elder
+brother, Chremes?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Know him? aye, sure.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> You do?&mdash;And his son
+PhÊdria?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> As well as I know you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> It so fell out,</p>
+<p>Both the old men were forc’d to journey forth</p>
+<p>At the same season. He to Lemnos, ours</p>
+<p>Into Cilicia, to an old acquaintance</p>
+<p>Who had decoy’d the old curmudgeon thither</p>
+<p>By wheedling letters, almost promising</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">209</span>
+<p>Mountains of gold.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> To one that had so much</p>
+<p>More than enough already?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Prithee, peace!</p>
+<p>Money’s his passion.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Oh, would I had been</p>
+<p>A man of fortune, I!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> At their departure,</p>
+<p>The two old gentlemen appointed me</p>
+<p>A kind of governor to both their sons.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> A hard task, Geta!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Troth, I found it so.</p>
+<p>My angry Genius for my sins ordain’d it.</p>
+<p>At first I took upon me to oppose:</p>
+<p>In short, while I was trusty to th’ old man,</p>
+<p>The young one made my shoulders answer for it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> So I suppose: for what a foolish
+task</p>
+<p>To kick against the pricks!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">571</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> I then resolv’d</p>
+<p>To give them their own way in every thing.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">210</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Aye, then you made your
+market.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Our young spark</p>
+<p>Play’d no mad pranks at first: but PhÊdria</p>
+<p>Got him immediately a music-girl:</p>
+<p>Fond of her to distraction! she belong’d</p>
+<p>To a most avaricious, sordid pimp;</p>
+<p>Nor had we aught to give;&mdash;th’ old gentleman</p>
+<p>Had taken care of that. Naught else remain’d,</p>
+<p>Except to feed his eyes, to follow her,</p>
+<p>To lead her out to school, and hand her home.</p>
+<p>We too, for lack of other business, gave</p>
+<p>Our time to PhÊdria. Opposite the school,</p>
+<p>Whither she went to take her lessons, stood</p>
+<p>A barber’s shop, wherein most commonly</p>
+<p>We waited her return. Hither one day</p>
+<p>Came a young man in tears: we were amaz’d,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">211</span>
+<p>And ask’d the cause. Never (said he, and wept)</p>
+<p>Did I suppose the weight of poverty</p>
+<p>A load so sad, <i>so</i> insupportable,</p>
+<p>As it appear’d but now.&mdash;I saw but now,</p>
+<p>Not far from hence, a miserable virgin</p>
+<p>Lamenting her dead mother. Near the corpse</p>
+<p>She sat; nor friend, nor kindred, nor acquaintance,</p>
+<p>Except one poor old woman, was there near</p>
+<p>To aid the funeral. I pitied her:</p>
+<p>Her beauty, too, was exquisite.&mdash;In short,</p>
+<p>He mov’d us all: and Antipho at once</p>
+<p>Cried, “Shall we go and visit her?”&mdash;Why, aye,</p>
+<p>“I think so,” said the other; “let us go!”</p>
+<p>“Conduct us, if you please.”&mdash;We went, arriv’d.</p>
+<p>And saw her.&mdash;Beautiful she was indeed!</p>
+<p>More justly to be reckon’d so, for she</p>
+<p>Had no additions to set off her beauty.</p>
+<p>Her hair dishevel’d, barefoot, woe-begone,</p>
+<p>In tears, and miserably clad: that if</p>
+<p>The life and soul of beauty had not dwelt</p>
+<p>Within her very form, all these together</p>
+<p>Must have extinguish’d it.&mdash;The spark, possess’d</p>
+<p>Already with the music-girl, just cried,</p>
+<p>“She’s well enough.”&mdash;But our young gentleman&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">212</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Fell, I suppose, in love.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> In love, indeed.</p>
+<p>But mark the end! next day, away he goes</p>
+<p>To the old woman straight, beseeching her</p>
+<p>To let him have the girl.&mdash;“Not she, indeed!</p>
+<p>Nor was it like a gentleman,” she said,</p>
+<p>“For him to think on’t: She’s a citizen,</p>
+<p>An honest girl, and born of honest parents:&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>If he would marry her indeed, by law</p>
+<p>He might do <i>that</i>; on no account, aught else.”</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">572</span>
+<p>&mdash;Our spark, distracted, knew not what to do:</p>
+<p>At once he long’d to marry her, at once</p>
+<p>Dreaded his absent father.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Would not he,</p>
+<p>Had he return’d, have giv’n consent?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> To wed</p>
+<p>A girl of neither family nor fortune?</p>
+<p>Never.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> What then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> What then! There is a
+parasite,</p>
+<p>One Phormio, a bold, enterprising fellow,</p>
+<p>Who&mdash;all the Gods confound him!&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> What did he?</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Gave us the following
+counsel.&mdash;“There’s a law</p>
+<p>That orphan Girls should wed their next of kin,</p>
+<p>Which law obliges too their next of kin</p>
+<p>To marry them<ins class = "correction second" title =
+"close quote missing in Harper edition">.”</ins>&mdash;I’ll say that
+you’re her kinsman,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">213</span>
+<p>And sue a writ against you. I’ll pretend</p>
+<p>To be her father’s friend, and bring the cause</p>
+<p>Before the judges. Who her father was,</p>
+<p>Her mother who, and how she’s your relation,</p>
+<p>All this sham evidence I’ll forge; by which</p>
+<p>The cause will turn entirely in my favor.</p>
+
+<p class = "second">
+You shall disprove no tittle of the charge;</p>
+
+<p>You shall disprove no title of the charge;</p>
+<p>So I succeed.&mdash;Your father will return;</p>
+<p>Prosecute me;&mdash;what then?&mdash;The girl’s our own.”</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> A pleasant piece of
+impudence!</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> It pleas’d</p>
+<p>Our spark at least: he put it into practice;</p>
+<p>Came into court; and he was cast; and married.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> How say you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Just as you have heard.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Oh Geta,</p>
+<p>What will become of you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> I don’t know, faith.</p>
+<p>But only this I know, what’er chance brings,</p>
+<p>I’ll patiently endure.
+</p>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Why, that’s well said,</p>
+<p>And like a man.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> All my dependence is</p>
+<p>Upon myself.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> And that’s the best.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> I might</p>
+<p>Beg one indeed to intercede for me,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">214</span>
+<p>Who may plead thus&mdash;“Nay, pardon him this once!</p>
+<p>But if he fails again, I’ve not a word</p>
+<p>To say for him.”&mdash;And well if he don’t add,</p>
+<p>“When I go hence e’en hang him!”</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> What of him,</p>
+<p>Gentleman-usher to the music-girl?</p>
+<p>How goes he on?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> So, so!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">573</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> He has not much</p>
+<p>To give, perhaps.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Just nothing, but mere hope.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> His father too, is he
+return’d?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Not yet.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Nor your old man, when do you
+look for him?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> I don’t know certainly: but I have
+heard</p>
+<p>That there’s a letter from him come to port,</p>
+<p>Which I am going for.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Davus.</span> Would you aught else</p>
+<p>With me, good Geta?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Nothing, but farewell!</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Davus</span>.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">215</span>
+<p>Ho, boy! what, nobody at home! (<i>Enter boy.</i>) Take this</p>
+<p>And give it Dorcium. (<i>Gives the Purse, and Exit.</i>)</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "phor_I_III" id = "phor_I_III">
+SCENE III.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Antipho</span>, <span class =
+"charname">PhÊdria</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Is it come to this?</p>
+<p>My father, PhÊdria!&mdash;my best friend!&mdash;That I</p>
+<p>Should tremble, when I think of his return!</p>
+<p>When, had I not been inconsiderate,</p>
+<p>I, as ’tis meet, might have expected him.
+</p>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> What now?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Is that a question? and from
+you?</p>
+<p>Who know the atrocious fault I have committed?</p>
+<p>Oh, that it ne’er had enter’d Phormio’s mind</p>
+<p>To give such counsel! nor to urge me on,</p>
+<p>In the extravagance of blind desire,</p>
+<p>To this rash act, the source of my misfortunes!</p>
+<p>I should not have possess’d her: that indeed</p>
+<p>Had made me wretched some few days.&mdash;But then</p>
+<p>This constant anguish had not torn my mind.&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> I hear you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> &mdash;While each moment I
+expect</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">216</span>
+<p>His coming to divorce me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Other men,</p>
+<p>For lack of what they love, are miserable;</p>
+<p>Abundance is your grievance. You’re too rich</p>
+<p>A lover, Antipho! For your condition</p>
+<p>Is to be wish’d and pray’d for. Now, by Heaven,</p>
+<p>Might I, so long as you have done, enjoy</p>
+<p>My love, it were bought cheaply with my life.</p>
+<p>How hard my lot, unsatisfied, unbless’d!</p>
+<p>How happy yours, in full possession!&mdash;One</p>
+<p>Of lib’ral birth, ingenuous disposition,</p>
+<p>And honest fame, without expense, you’ve got:</p>
+<p>The wife, whom you desir’d!&mdash;in all things bless’d,</p>
+<p>But want the disposition to believe so.</p>
+<p>Had you, like me, a scoundrel pimp to deal with,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">574</span>
+<p>Then you’d perceive&mdash;But sure ’tis in our nature</p>
+<p>Never to be contented.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Now to me,</p>
+<p>PhÊdria, ’tis you appear the happy man.</p>
+<p>Still quite at large, free to consider still,</p>
+<p>To keep, pursue, or quit her: I, alas!</p>
+<p>Have so entangled and perplex’d myself,</p>
+<p>That I can neither keep nor let her go.</p>
+<p>&mdash;What now? isn’t that our Geta, whom I see</p>
+<p>Running this way?&mdash;’Tis he himself&mdash; Ah me,</p>
+<p>How do I fear what news he brings!</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">217</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "phor_I_IV" id = "phor_I_IV">
+SCENE IV.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter at a distance <span class = "charname">Geta</span>, running.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Confusion!</p>
+<p>A quick thought, Geta, or you’re quite undone,</p>
+<p>So many evils take you unprepar’d;</p>
+<p>Which I know neither how to shun nor how</p>
+<p>To extricate myself: for this bold stroke</p>
+<p>Of ours can’t long be hid.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> What’s this confusion?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Then I have scarce a moment’s time
+to think.</p>
+<p>My master is arriv’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> What mischief’s that?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Who, when he shall have heard it,
+by what art</p>
+<p>Shall I appease his anger?&mdash;Shall I speak?</p>
+<p>’Twill irritate him.&mdash;Hold my peace?&mdash;enrage
+him.&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>Defend myself?&mdash;impossible?&mdash;Oh, wretch!</p>
+<p>Now for myself in pain, now Antipho</p>
+<p>Distracts my mind.&mdash;But him I pity most;</p>
+<p>For him I fear; ’tis he retains me here:</p>
+<p>For, were it not for him, I’d soon provide</p>
+<p>For my own safety&mdash;aye, and be reveng’d</p>
+<p>On the old graybeard&mdash;carry something off,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">218</span>
+<p>And show my master a light pair of heels.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> What scheme to rob and run away is
+this?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> But where shall I find Antipho?
+where seek him?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> He mentions you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> I know not what, but doubt</p>
+<p>That he’s the messenger of some ill news.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Have you your wits?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> I’ll home: he’s chiefly there.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Let’s call him back!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Holloa, you! stop!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Heyday!</p>
+<p>Authority enough, be who you will.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Geta!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta</span> (<i>turning</i>). The very man I
+wish’d to meet!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Tell us, what news?&mdash;in one
+word, if you can.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">575</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> I’ll do it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Speak!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> This moment at the
+port&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> My father?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Even so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Undone!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Heyday!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> What shall I do?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> What say you? (<i>To <span class =
+"charname">Geta</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> That I’ve seen</p>
+<p>His father, Sir,&mdash;your uncle.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">219</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> How shall I,</p>
+<p>Wretch that I am! oppose this sudden evil!</p>
+<p>Should I be so unhappy to be torn</p>
+<p>From thee, my Phanium, life’s not worth my care.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Since that’s the case then,
+Antipho, you ought</p>
+<p>To be the more upon your guard.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Alas!</p>
+<p>I’m not myself.
+</p>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> But now you should be most so,
+Antipho.</p>
+<p>For if your father should discern your fear,</p>
+<p>He’ll think you conscious of a fault.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> That’s true.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> I can not help it, nor seem
+otherwise.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> How would you manage in worse
+difficulties?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Since I’m not equal to bear this,
+to those</p>
+<p>I should be more unequal.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> This is nothing.</p>
+<p>Pooh, PhÊdria, let him go! why waste our time?</p>
+<p>I will be gone. (<i>Going.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> And I. (<i>Going.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Nay, prithee, stay!</p>
+<p>What if I should dissemble?&mdash;Will that do?</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Endeavoring to assume another air.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Ridiculous!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Nay, look at me! will that</p>
+<p>Suffice?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Not it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Or this?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">220</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Almost.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Or this?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Aye! now you’ve hit it. Do but
+stick to that;</p>
+<p>Answer him boldly; give him hit for dash,</p>
+<p>Nor let him bear you down with angry words.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> I understand you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> “Forc’d”&mdash;“against your
+will”&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>“By law”&mdash;“by sentence of the court”&mdash;d’ye take me?</p>
+<p>&mdash;But what old gentleman is that I see</p>
+
+<div class = "second">
+<p>Turning the corner of the street?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> ’Tis he.</p>
+<p>I dare not face him. (<i>Going.</i>)</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>At t’other end o’ th’ street?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> ’Tis he himself.</p>
+<p>I dare not face him. (<i>Going.</i>)</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">576</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Ah! what is’t you do?</p>
+<p>Where d’ye run, Antipho! stay, stay, I say.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> I know myself and my offense too
+well:</p>
+<p>To you, then, I commend my life and love.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "phor_I_V" id = "phor_I_V">
+SCENE V.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Manent <span class = "charname">PhÊdria</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Geta</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Geta, what now?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> You shall be roundly chid;</p>
+<p>I soundly drubb’d; or I am much deceiv’d.</p>
+<p>&mdash;But what e’en now we counsel’d Antipho,</p>
+<p>It now behooves ourselves to practice, PhÊdria.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">221</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Talk not of what behooves, but say
+at once</p>
+<p>What you would have me do.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Do you remember</p>
+<p>The plea whereon you both agreed to rest,</p>
+<p>At your first vent’ring on this enterprise?</p>
+<p>“That Phormio’s suit was just, sure, equitable,</p>
+<p>Not to be controverted.”&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> I remember.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Now then that plea! or, if it’s
+possible,</p>
+<p>One better or more plausible.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> I’ll do’t.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Do you attack him first! I’ll lie
+in ambush,</p>
+<p>To reinforce you, if you give ground.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Well. (<i>They retire.</i>)</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "phor_I_VI" id = "phor_I_VI">
+SCENE VI.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Demipho</span> at another part of the
+stage.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> How’s this? a wife! what, Antipho!
+and ne’er</p>
+<p>Ask my consent?&mdash;nor my authority&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>Or, grant we pass authority, not dread</p>
+<p>My wrath at least?&mdash;To have no sense of shame?</p>
+<p>&mdash;Oh, impudence!&mdash;Oh, Geta, rare adviser!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Geta at last.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> What they will say to me,</p>
+<p>Or what excuse they will devise, I wonder.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">222</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Oh, we have settled that already:
+think</p>
+<p>Of something else.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Will he say this to me,</p>
+<p>&mdash;“Against my will I did it”&mdash;“Forc’d by
+law”&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>&mdash;I hear you: I confess it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Very well.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> But conscious of the fraud, without
+a word</p>
+<p>In answer or defense, to yield the cause</p>
+<p>Tamely to your opponents&mdash;did the law</p>
+<p>Force you to <i>that</i> too?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">577</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> That’s home.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Give me leave.</p>
+<p>I’ll manage it.
+</p>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I know not what to do:</p>
+<p>This stroke has come so unawares upon me,</p>
+<p>Beyond all expectation, past belief.</p>
+<p>&mdash;I’m so enrag’d, I can’t compose my mind</p>
+<p>To think upon it.&mdash;Wherefore ev’ry man,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">223</span>
+<p>When his affairs go on most swimmingly,</p>
+<p>Ev’n then it most behooves to arm himself</p>
+<p>Against the coming storm: loss, danger, exile,</p>
+<p>Returning ever let him look to meet;</p>
+<p>His son in fault, wife dead, or daughter sick&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>All common accidents, and may have happen’d;</p>
+<p>That nothing should seem new or strange. But if</p>
+<p>Aught has fall’n out beyond his hopes, all that</p>
+<p>Let him account clear gain.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Oh, PhÊdria,</p>
+<p>’Tis wonderful how much a wiser man</p>
+<p>I am than my old master. My misfortunes</p>
+<p>I have consider’d well.&mdash;At his return</p>
+<p>Doom’d to grind ever in the mill, beat, chain’d,</p>
+<p>Or set to labor in the fields; of these</p>
+<p>Nothing will happen new. If aught falls out</p>
+<p>Beyond my hopes, all that I’ll count clear gain.</p>
+<p>&mdash;But why delay t’accost th’ old gentleman,</p>
+<p>And speak him fair at first? (<i><span class =
+"charname">PhÊdria</span> goes forward.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Methinks I see</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">224</span>
+<p>My nephew PhÊdria.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> My good Uncle, welcome!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Your servant!&mdash;But where’s
+Antipho?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> I’m glad</p>
+<p>To see you safe&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Well, well!&mdash;But answer
+me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> He’s well: hard by.&mdash;But have
+affairs turn’d out</p>
+<p>According to your wishes?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Would they had!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Why, what’s the matter?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> What’s the matter, PhÊdria?</p>
+<p>You’ve clapp’d up a fine marriage in my absence.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> What! are you angry with him about
+that?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Well counterfeited!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Should I not be angry?</p>
+<p>Let me but set eyes on him, he shall know</p>
+<p>That his offenses have converted me</p>
+<p>From a mild father to a most severe one.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> He has done nothing, Uncle, to
+offend you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> See, all alike! the whole gang
+hangs together:</p>
+<p>Know one, and you know all.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Nay, ’tis not so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> One does a fault, the other’s hard
+at hand</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">578</span>
+<p>To bear him out: when t’other slips, <i>he’s</i> ready:</p>
+<p>Each in their turn!</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> I’ faith th’ old gentleman</p>
+<p>Has blunder’d on their humors to a hair.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">225</span>
+<p class = "second first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> For, were’t not so, you’d not
+defend him, PhÊdria.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> If ’twere not so, you’d not defend
+him, PhÊdria.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> If, Uncle, Antipho has done a
+wrong,</p>
+<p>Or to his interest or reputation,</p>
+<p>I am content he suffer as he may:</p>
+<p>But if another, with malicious fraud,</p>
+<p>Has laid a snare for unexperienced youth,</p>
+<p>And triumph’d o’er it; can you lay the blame</p>
+<p>On us, or on the judges, who oft take</p>
+<p>Through envy from the rich, or from compassion</p>
+<p>Add to the poor?</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Unless I knew the cause,</p>
+<p>I should imagine this was truth he spoke.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> What judge can know the merits on
+your side,</p>
+<p>When you put in no plea; as he has done?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> He has behav’d like an ingenuous
+youth.</p>
+<p>When he came into court, he wanted pow’r</p>
+<p>To utter what he had prepar’d, so much</p>
+<p>He was abash’d by fear and modesty.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Oh brave!&mdash;But why, without
+more loss of time,</p>
+<p>Don’t I accost th’ old man! (<i>Going up.</i>) My master,
+welcome!</p>
+<p>I am rejoic’d to see you safe return’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> What! my good master Governor! your
+slave!</p>
+<p>The prop! the pillar of our family!</p>
+<p>To whom, at my departure hence, I gave</p>
+<p>My son in charge.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">226</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> I’ve heard you for some time</p>
+<p>Accuse us all quite undeservedly,</p>
+<p>And me, of all, most undeservedly.</p>
+<p>For what could I have done in this affair?</p>
+<p>A slave the laws will not allow to plead;</p>
+<p>Nor can he be an evidence.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I grant it.</p>
+<p>Nay more&mdash;the boy was bashful&mdash;I allow it.</p>
+<p>&mdash;You but a slave.&mdash;But if she had been prov’d</p>
+<p>Ever so plainly a relation, why</p>
+<p>Needed he marry her? and why not rather</p>
+<p>Give her, according to the law, a portion,</p>
+<p>And let her seek some other for a husband?</p>
+<p>Why did he rather bring a beggar home?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> ’Twas not the thought, but money
+that was wanting.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> He might have borrow’d it!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Have borrow’d it!</p>
+<p>Easily said.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> If not to be had else,</p>
+<p>On interest.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Nay, now indeed you’ve hit it!</p>
+<p>Who would advance him money in your life?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">579</span>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">227</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Well, well, it shall not, and it
+can not be,</p>
+<p>That I should suffer her to live with him</p>
+<p>As wife a single day. There is no cause.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Would I might see that fellow, or could tell</p>
+<p>Where he resides!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> What, Phormio!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> The girl’s Patron.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> He shall be with you straight.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Where’s Antipho?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Abroad.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Go, PhÊdria; find him, bring him
+here.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> I’ll go directly.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta</span> (<i>aside</i>). Aye, to
+Pamphila.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">228</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "phor_I_VII" id = "phor_I_VII">
+SCENE VII.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Demipho</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>I’ll home, and thank the Gods for my return:</p>
+<p>Thence to the Forum, and convene some friends,</p>
+<p>Who may be present at this interview,</p>
+<p>That Phormio may not take me unprepar’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">229</span>
+<h4 class = "act"><a name = "phor_II" id = "phor_II">
+ACT THE SECOND.</a></h4>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "phor_II_I" id = "phor_II_I">
+SCENE I.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Phormio</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Geta</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> And Antipho, you say, has slunk
+away,</p>
+<p>Fearing his father’s presence?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Very true.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Poor Phanium left alone?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> ’Tis even so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> And the old gentleman enrag’d!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Indeed.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> The sum of all then, Phormio,
+rests on you:</p>
+<p>On you, and you alone. You’ve bak’d this cake;</p>
+<p>E’en eat it for your pains. About it then!
+</p>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> I do beseech you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> (<i>to himself.</i>) What if he
+inquire?&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">230</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Our only hope’s in you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> (<i>to himself</i>). I have
+it!&mdash;Then,</p>
+<p>Suppose he offer to return the girl?&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> You urg’d us to it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> (<i>to himself</i>). Aye! it shall
+be so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Assist us!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Let him come, old gentleman!</p>
+<p>’Tis here: it is engender’d: I am arm’d</p>
+<p>With all my counsels.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">580</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> What d’ye mean to do?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> What would you have me do, unless
+contrive</p>
+<p>That Phanium may remain, that Antipho</p>
+<p>Be freed from blame, and all the old man’s rage</p>
+<p>Turn’d upon me?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Brave fellow! friend indeed!</p>
+<p>And yet I often tremble for you, Phormio,</p>
+<p>Lest all this noble confidence of yours</p>
+<p>End in the stocks at last.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">231</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Ah, ’tis not so.</p>
+<p>I’m an old stager too, and know my road.</p>
+<p>How many men d’ye think I’ve bastinadoed</p>
+<p>Almost to death? Aliens and citizens?</p>
+<p>The oft’ner, still the safer.&mdash;Tell me then,</p>
+<p>Didst ever hear of actions for assault</p>
+<p>And batt’ry brought against me?</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> How comes that?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Because the net’s not stretch’d to
+catch the hawk,</p>
+<p>Or kite, who do us wrong; but laid for those</p>
+<p>Who do us none at all: In them there’s profit,</p>
+
+<p class = "second">
+In these mere labor lost. Thus other men</p>
+
+<p>In those mere labor lost. Thus other men</p>
+<p>May be in danger who have aught to lose;</p>
+<p>I, the world knows, have nothing.&mdash;You will say,</p>
+<p>They’ll seize my person.&mdash;No, they won’t maintain</p>
+<p>A fellow of my stomach.&mdash;And they’re wise,</p>
+<p>In my opinion, if for injuries</p>
+<p>They’ll not return the highest benefit.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> It is impossible for Antipho</p>
+<p>To give you thanks sufficient.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Rather say,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">232</span>
+<p>No man sufficiently can thank his patron.</p>
+<p>You at free cost to come! anointed, bath’d,</p>
+<p>Easy and gay! while he’s eat up with care</p>
+<p>And charge, to cater for your entertainment!</p>
+<p>He gnaws his heart, you laugh; eat first, sit first,</p>
+<p>And see a doubtful banquet plac’d before you!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Doubtful! what phrase is that?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Where you’re in doubt,</p>
+<p>What you shall rather choose. Delights like these</p>
+<p>When you but think how sweet, how dear, they are;</p>
+<p>Him that affords them must you not suppose</p>
+<p>A very deity?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> The old man’s here.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">233</span>
+<p>Mind what you do! the first attack’s the fiercest:</p>
+<p>Sustain but that, the rest will be mere play. (<i>They
+retire.</i>)</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "phor_II_II" id = "phor_II_II">
+SCENE II.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter at a distance <span class = "charname">Demipho</span>&mdash;<span
+class = "charname">Hegio</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Cratinus</span>, <span class = "charname">Crito</span>,
+following.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Was ever man so grossly treated,
+think ye?</p>
+<p>&mdash;This way, Sirs, I beseech you.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">581</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> He’s enrag’d!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Hist! mind your cue: I’ll work
+him.&mdash;(<i>Coming forward, and speaking loud.</i>) Oh, ye Gods!</p>
+<p>Does he deny that Phanium’s his relation?</p>
+<p>What, Demipho! does Demipho deny</p>
+<p>That Phanium is his kinswoman?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> He does.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> And who her father was, he does
+not know?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> No.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> (<i>to the Lawyers</i>). Here’s the
+very fellow, I believe,</p>
+<p>Of whom I have been speaking.&mdash;Follow me!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> (<i>aloud</i>). And that he does
+not know who Stilpho was?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> No.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">234</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Ah! because, poor thing, she’s
+left in want,</p>
+<p>Her father is unknown, and she despis’d.</p>
+<p>What will not avarice do?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> If you insinuate</p>
+<p>My master’s avaricious, woe be to you!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> (<i>behind</i>). Oh impudence! he
+dares accuse me first.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> As to the youth, I can not take
+offense,</p>
+<p>If he had not much knowledge of him; since,</p>
+<p>Now in the vale of years, in want, his work</p>
+<p>His livelihood, he nearly altogether</p>
+<p>Liv’d in the country: where he held a farm</p>
+<p>Under my father. I have often heard</p>
+<p>The poor old man complain that this his kinsman</p>
+<p>Neglected him.&mdash;But what a man! A man</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">235</span>
+<p>Of most exceeding virtue.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Much at one:</p>
+<p>Yourself and he you praise so much.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Away!</p>
+<p>Had I not thought him what I’ve spoken of him,</p>
+<p>I would not for his daughter’s sake have drawn</p>
+<p>So many troubles on our family,</p>
+<p>Whom this old cuff now treats so scandalously.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> What, still abuse my absent
+master, rascal!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> It is no more than he
+deserves.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> How, villain!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Geta! (<i>Calling.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Rogue, robber, pettifogger! (<i>To
+<span class = "charname">Phormio</span> pretending not to hear <span
+class = "charname">Demipho</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Geta!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Answer. (<i>Apart to <span class =
+"charname">Geta</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta</span> (<i>turning</i>). Who’s
+that?&mdash;Oh!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Peace!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Behind your back</p>
+<p>All day without cessation has this knave</p>
+<p>Thrown scurvy terms upon you, such as none</p>
+<p>But men like him can merit.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Well! have done.</p>
+
+<p class = "stagedir">
+Putting <span class = "charname">Geta</span> by, then addressing <span
+class = "charname">Phormio</span>.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">582</span>
+<p>Young man! permit me first to ask one question.</p>
+<p>And, if you please, vouchsafe to answer me.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Who was this friend of yours? Explain! and how</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">236</span>
+<p>Might he pretend that I was his relation?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> So! you fish for’t, as if you did
+not know. (<i>Sneeringly.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Know! I!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Aye; you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Not I: You that maintain</p>
+<p>I ought, instruct me how to recollect.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> What! not acquainted with your
+cousin?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Plague!</p>
+<p>Tell me his name.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> His name? aye!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Well, why don’t you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Confusion! I’ve forgot the name.
+(<i>Apart.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> What say you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Geta, if you remember, prompt me.
+(<i>Apart to <span class = "charname">Geta</span>.</i>)&mdash;Pshaw,</p>
+<p>I will not tell.&mdash;As if you did not know,</p>
+<p>You’re come to try me. (<i>Loud to <span class =
+"charname">Demipho</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> How! try you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Stilpho. (<i>Whispering <span
+class = "charname">Phormio</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> What is’t to
+me?&mdash;Stilpho.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">237</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Whom say you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Stilpho:</p>
+<p>Did you know Stilpho, Sir?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I neither know him,</p>
+<p>Nor ever had I kinsman of that name.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> How! are you not
+asham’d?&mdash;But if, poor man,</p>
+<p>Stilpho had left behind him an estate</p>
+<p>Of some ten talents&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Out upon you!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Then</p>
+<p>You would have been the first to trace your line</p>
+<p>Quite from your grandsire and great grandsire.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> True.</p>
+<p>Had I then come, I’d have explain’d at large</p>
+<p>How she was my relation: so do you!</p>
+<p>Say, how is she my kinswoman?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Well said!</p>
+<p>Master, you’re right.&mdash;Take heed! (<i>Apart to <span class =
+"charname">Phormio</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> I have explain’d</p>
+<p>All that most clearly, where I ought, in court.</p>
+<p>If it were false, why did not then your son</p>
+<p>Refute it?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Do you tell me of my son?</p>
+<p>Whose folly can’t be spoke of as it ought.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> But you, who are so wise, go seek
+the judge:</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">238</span>
+<p>Ask sentence in the self-same cause again:</p>
+<p>Because you’re lord alone, and have alone</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">583</span>
+<p>Pow’r to obtain judgment of the court</p>
+<p>Twice in one cause.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Although I have been wrong’d,</p>
+<p>Yet, rather than engage in litigation,</p>
+<p>And rather than hear you; as if she were</p>
+<p>Indeed related to us, as the law</p>
+<p>Ordains, I’ll pay her dowry: take her hence,</p>
+<p>And with her take five minÊ.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Ha! ha! ha!</p>
+<p>A pleasant gentleman!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Why, what’s the matter?</p>
+<p>Have I demanded any thing unjust?</p>
+<p>Sha’n’t I obtain this neither, which is law?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Is’t even so, Sir?&mdash;Like a
+common harlot,</p>
+<p>When you’ve abus’d her, does the law ordain</p>
+<p>That you should pay her hire and whistle her off?</p>
+<p>Or, lest a citizen through poverty</p>
+<p>Bring shame upon her honor, does it order</p>
+<p>That she be given to her next of kin</p>
+<p>To pass her life with him? which you forbid.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Aye; to her next of kin: But why to
+us;</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">239</span>
+<p>Or wherefore?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Oh! that matter is all
+settled:</p>
+<p>Think on’t no more.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Not think on’t! I shall think</p>
+<p>Of nothing else till there’s an end of this.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Words, words!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I’ll make them good.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> But, after all,</p>
+<p>With you I have no business, Demipho!</p>
+<p>Your son is cast, not you: for at your age</p>
+<p>The coupling-time is over.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Be assur’d</p>
+<p>That all I’ve said he says: or I’ll forbid</p>
+<p>Him and this wife of his my house.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> He’s angry. (<i>Apart.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> No; you’ll think better on’t.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Are you resolv’d,</p>
+<p>Wretch that you are, to thwart me ev’ry way?</p>
+
+<table class = "bracket" summary = "bracketed text">
+<tr>
+<td>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> He fears, though he
+dissembles.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Well begun!</p>
+</td>
+<td class = "bracket two">
+(<i>Apart.</i>)
+</td>
+</tr>
+</table>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Well; but what can’t be cur’d must
+be endur’d:</p>
+<p>’Twere well, and like yourself, that we were friends.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I! friend to you? or choose to see
+or hear you!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Do but agree with her, you’ll have
+a girl</p>
+<p>To comfort your old age. Your years, consider!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Plague on your comfort! take her to
+yourself!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">240</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Ah! don’t be angry!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> One word more, I’ve done.</p>
+<p>See that you fetch away this wench, and soon,</p>
+<p>Or I shall turn her headlong out o’doors.</p>
+<p>So much for Phormio!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">584</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Offer but to touch her</p>
+<p>In any other manner than beseems</p>
+<p>A gentlewoman and a citizen,</p>
+<p>And I shall bring a swinging writ against you.</p>
+<p>So much for Demipho!&mdash;If I am wanted,</p>
+<p>I am at home, d’ye hear? (<i>Apart to <span class =
+"charname">Geta</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> I understand. (<i>Apart.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Phormio</span>.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "phor_II_III" id = "phor_II_III">
+SCENE III.</a></h5>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> With how much care, and what
+solicitude,</p>
+<p>My son affects me, with this wretched match</p>
+<p>Having embroil’d himself and me! nor comes</p>
+<p>Into my sight, that I might know at least</p>
+<p>Or what he says, or thinks of this affair.</p>
+<p>Go you, and see if he’s come home or no.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> I’m gone.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> You see, Sirs, how this matter
+stands.</p>
+<p>What shall I do? Say, Hegio!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Hegio.</span> Meaning me?</p>
+<p>Cratinus, please you, should speak first.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Say then,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">241</span>
+<p>Cratinus!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Cra.</span> Me d’ye question?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> You.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Cra.</span> Then I,</p>
+<p>Whatever steps are best I’d have you take.</p>
+<p>Thus it appears to me. Whate’er your son</p>
+<p>Has in your absence done is null and void,</p>
+<p>In law and equity.&mdash;And so you’ll find.</p>
+<p>That’s my opinion.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Say now, Hegio!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Hegio.</span> He has, I think, pronounc’d most
+learnedly.</p>
+<p>But so ’tis: many men, and many minds!</p>
+<p>Each has his fancy: Now, in my opinion,</p>
+<p>Whate’er is done by law can’t be undone.</p>
+<p>’Tis shameful to attempt it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Say you, Crito!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Crito.</span> The case, I think, asks more
+deliberation.</p>
+<p>’Tis a nice point.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Hegio.</span> Would you aught else with us?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> You’ve utter’d oracles. (<i>Exeunt
+Lawyers.</i>) I’m more uncertain</p>
+<p>Now than I was before.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">242</span>
+<p class = "stagedir">
+Re-enter <span class = "charname">Geta</span>.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> He’s not return’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> My brother, as I hope, will soon
+arrive:</p>
+<p>Whate’er advice he gives me, that I’ll follow.</p>
+<p>I’ll to the Port, and ask when they expect him. (<i>Exit.</i>
+</p>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> And I’ll go find out Antipho, and
+tell him</p>
+<p>All that has pass’d.&mdash;But here he comes in time.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">585</span>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">243</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "phor_II_IV" id = "phor_II_IV">
+SCENE IV.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter at a distance <span class = "charname">Antipho</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> (<i>to himself</i>). Indeed,
+indeed, my Antipho,</p>
+<p>You’re much to blame, to be so poor in spirit.</p>
+<p>What! steal away so guilty-like! and trust</p>
+<p>Your life and safety to the care of others!</p>
+<p>Would they be touch’d more nearly than yourself?</p>
+<p>Come what come might of ev’ry thing beside,</p>
+<p>Could you abandon the dear maid at home?</p>
+<p>Could you so far deceive her easy faith,</p>
+<p>And leave her to misfortune and distress?</p>
+<p>Her, who plac’d all her hopes in you alone?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta</span> (<i>coming forward</i>). I’ faith,
+Sir, we have thought you much to blame</p>
+<p>For your long absence.&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> You’re the very man</p>
+<p>That I was looking for.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> &mdash;But ne’ertheless</p>
+<p>We’ve miss’d no opportunity.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Oh, speak!</p>
+<p>How go my fortunes, Geta? has my father</p>
+<p>Any suspicion that I was in league</p>
+<p>With Phormio?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Not a jot.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">244</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> And may I hope?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> I don’t know.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Ah!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Unless that PhÊdria</p>
+<p>Did all he could do for you.&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Nothing new.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> &mdash;And Phormio has on all
+occasions else.</p>
+<p>Prov’d himself a brave fellow.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> What did he?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Out-swagger’d your hot father.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Well said, Phormio!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> &mdash;I did the best I could
+too.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Honest Geta,</p>
+<p>I am much bounden to you all.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Thus, Sir,</p>
+<p>Stand things at present. As yet all is calm.</p>
+<p>Your father means to wait your uncle’s coming.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> For what?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> For his advice, as he
+propos’d;</p>
+<p>By which he will be rul’d in this affair.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> How do I dread my uncle’s coming,
+Geta.</p>
+<p>Since by his sentence I must live or die!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> But here comes PhÊdria.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">586</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Where?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> From his old school. (<i>They
+retire.</i>)</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">245</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "phor_II_V" id = "phor_II_V">
+SCENE V.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter, from Dorio’s, <span class = "charname">Dorio</span>, <span class
+= "charname">PhÊdria</span> following.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Nay, hear me, Dorio!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dorio.</span> Not I.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> But a word!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dorio.</span> Let me alone.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Pray hear me!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dorio.</span> I am tir’d</p>
+<p>With hearing the same thing a thousand times.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> But what I’d say you would be glad
+to hear.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dorio.</span> Speak then! I hear.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Can’t I prevail on you</p>
+<p>To stay but these three days?&mdash; Nay, where d’ye go?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dorio.</span> I should have wonder’d had you
+said aught new.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> (<i>behind</i>). This pimp, I fear,
+will work himself no</p>
+<p>good.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">246</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> I fear so too.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Won’t you believe me?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dorio.</span> Guess.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Upon my honor.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dorio.</span> Nonsense.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> ’Tis a kindness</p>
+<p>Shall be repaid with interest.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dorio.</span> Words, words!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> You’ll be glad on’t; you will,
+believe me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dorio.</span> Pshaw!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Try; ’tis not long.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dorio.</span> You’re in the same tune
+still.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> My kinsman, parent,
+friend!&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dorio.</span> Aye, talk away.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Can you be so inflexible, so
+cruel.</p>
+<p>That neither pity nor entreaties touch you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dorio.</span> And can you be so
+inconsiderate,</p>
+<p>And so unconscionable, PhÊdria,</p>
+<p>To think that you can talk me to your purpose,</p>
+<p>And wheedle me to give the girl for nothing?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> (<i>behind</i>). Poor PhÊdria!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> (<i>to himself</i>). Alas! he
+speaks the truth.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Antipho</span></i>). How well they each support their
+characters!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> (<i>to himself</i>). Then that
+this evil should have come</p>
+<p>upon me,</p>
+<p>When Antipho was in the like distress!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">247</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> (<i>going up</i>). Ha! what now,
+PhÊdria?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Happy, happy
+Antipho!&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> I?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">587</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Who have her you love in your
+possession,</p>
+<p>Nor e’er had plagues like these to struggle with!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> In my possession? yes, I have,
+indeed,</p>
+<p>As the old saying goes, a wolf by th’ ears:</p>
+<p>For I can neither part with her nor keep her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dorio.</span> ’Tis just my case with him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Dorio</span></i>). Thou thorough bawd!</p>
+<p>&mdash;(<i>To <span class = "charname">PhÊdria</span>.</i>) What has
+he done?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Done?&mdash;The inhuman wretch</p>
+<p>Has sold my Pamphila.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> What! sold her?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Sold her?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Yes; sold her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dorio</span> (<i>laughing</i>). Sold
+her.&mdash;What a monstrous crime!</p>
+<p>A wench he paid his ready money for.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> I can’t prevail upon him to wait
+for me,</p>
+<p>And to stave off his bargain but three days;</p>
+<p>Till I obtain the money from my friends,</p>
+<p>According to their promise.&mdash;If I do not</p>
+<p>Pay it you then, don’t wait a moment longer.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dorio.</span> You stun me.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">248</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> ’Tis a very little time</p>
+<p>For which he asks your patience, Dorio.</p>
+<p>Let him prevail on you; your complaisance</p>
+<p>Shall be requited doubly.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dorio.</span> Words; mere words!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Can you then bear to see your
+Pamphila</p>
+<p>Torn from this city, PhÊdria?&mdash;Can you, Dorio,</p>
+<p>Divide their loves</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dorio.</span> Nor I, nor you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Plague on you!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dorio</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">PhÊdria</span></i>). I have, against my natural
+disposition,</p>
+<p>Borne with you several months, still promising,</p>
+<p>Whimpering, and ne’er performing any thing:</p>
+<p>Now, on the contrary, I’ve found a spark,</p>
+<p>Who’ll prove a ready-paymaster, no sniveler:</p>
+<p>Give place then to your betters!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Surely, PhÊdria,</p>
+<p>There was, if I remember, a day settled</p>
+<p>That you should pay the money down.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> There was.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dorio.</span> Do I deny it?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Is the day past?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dorio.</span> No.</p>
+<p>But this has come before it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Infamous!</p>
+<p>Ar’n’t you asham’d of such base treachery?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dorio.</span> Not I, while I can get by’t.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">249</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Scavenger!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Is this just dealing, Dorio?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dorio.</span> ’Tis my way:</p>
+<p>So, if you like me, use me.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">588</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Can you deceive him thus?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dorio.</span> Nay, Antipho,</p>
+<p>’Tis he deceives me: he was well aware</p>
+<p>What kind of man I was, but I believ’d</p>
+<p>Him diff’rent. He has disappointed me,</p>
+<p>But I am still the same to him as ever.</p>
+<p>However, thus much I can do for him;</p>
+<p>The Captain promis’d to pay down the money</p>
+<p>To-morrow morning. But now, PhÊdria,</p>
+<p>If you come first, I’ll follow my old rule,</p>
+<p>“The first to pay shall be first serv’d.” Farewell.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "phor_II_VI" id = "phor_II_VI">
+SCENE VI.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊdria</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Antipho</span>, <span class = "charname">Geta</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> What shall I do? Unhappy that I
+am,</p>
+<p>How shall I, who am almost worse than nothing,</p>
+<p>Raise such a sum so suddenly?&mdash;Alas!</p>
+<p>Had I prevail’d on him to wait three days,</p>
+<p>I had a promise of it.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">250</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Shall we, Geta,</p>
+<p>Suffer my PhÊdria to be miserable?</p>
+<p>My best friend PhÊdria, who but now, you said,</p>
+<p>Assisted me so heartily?&mdash;No&mdash;Rather</p>
+<p>Let us, since there is need, return his kindness!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> It is but just, I must
+confess.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Come then;</p>
+<p>’Tis you alone can save him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> By what means?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Procure the money.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Willingly: but whence?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> My father is arriv’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> He is: what then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> A word to the wise, Geta!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Say you so?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Ev’n so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> By Hercules, ’tis rare advice.</p>
+<p>Are you there with me? will it not be triumph,</p>
+<p>So I but ’scape a scouring for your match,</p>
+<p>That you must urge me to run risks for him?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> He speaks the truth, I must
+confess.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> How’s that?</p>
+<p>Am I a stranger to you, Geta?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> No:</p>
+<p>Nor do I hold you such. But is it nothing</p>
+
+<p class = "second">
+That Demipho now rages at us all,</p>
+
+<p>That the old man now rages at us all,</p>
+<p>Unless we irritate him so much further</p>
+<p>As to preclude all hopes to pacify him?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">251</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Shall then another bear her hence?
+Ah me!</p>
+<p>Now then, while I remain, speak to me, Antipho.</p>
+<p>Behold me!</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">589</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Wherefore? what is it you mean?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Wherever she’s convey’d, I’ll
+follow her;</p>
+<p>Or perish.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Heaven prosper your
+designs!&mdash;</p>
+<p>Gently, Sir, gently!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> See if you can help him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Help him! but how?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Nay, think, invent, devise;</p>
+<p>Lest he do something we repent of, Geta!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> I’m thinking.
+(<i>Pausing.</i>)&mdash;Well then I believe, he’s safe.</p>
+<p>But I’m afraid of mischief.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Never fear:</p>
+<p>We’ll bear all good and evil fortune with you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Tell me the sum you have occasion
+for.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> But thirty minÊ.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Thirty! monstrous, PhÊdria!</p>
+<p>She’s very dear.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> Dog-cheap.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Well, say no more.</p>
+<p>I’ll get them for you.
+</p>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> O brave fellow!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Hence!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> But I shall want it now.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> You’ll have it now.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">252</span>
+<p>But Phormio must assist me in this business.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> He’s ready: lay what load you will
+upon him,</p>
+<p>He’ll bear it all; for he’s a friend indeed.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Let’s to him quickly then!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> D’ye want my help?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> We’ve no occasion for you. Get you
+home</p>
+<p>To the poor girl, who’s almost dead with fear;</p>
+<p>And see you comfort her.&mdash;Away! d’ye loiter?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> There’s nothing I would do so
+willingly.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">PhÊd.</span> But how will you effect this?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> I’ll explain</p>
+<p>That matter as we go along.&mdash;Away!</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exeunt.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">253</span>
+<h4 class = "act"><a name = "phor_III" id = "phor_III">
+ACT THE THIRD.</a></h4>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "phor_III_I" id = "phor_III_I">
+SCENE I.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Demipho</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Chremes</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Well, Chremes, have you brought
+your daughter with you,</p>
+<p>On whose account you went to Lemnos?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> No.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Why not?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">590</span>
+<p class = "second first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Her mother grown, it seems,
+impatient,</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> It seems the mother, grown
+impatient,</p>
+<p>Perceiving that I tarried here so long,</p>
+<p>And that the girl’s age brook’d not my delays,</p>
+<p>Had journeyed here, they said, in search of me,</p>
+<p>With her whole family.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Appris’d of this,</p>
+<p>What kept you there so long then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> A disease.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> How came it? what disease?</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Is that a question?</p>
+<p>Old age itself is a disease.&mdash;However,</p>
+<p>The master of the ship, who brought them over,</p>
+<p>Inform’d me of their safe arrival <ins class = "correction second"
+title = "Harper edition reads ‘higher’">hither</ins>.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">254</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Have you heard, Chremes, of my
+son’s misfortune</p>
+<p>During my absence?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Aye; and it confounds me.</p>
+<p>For to another should I tender her,</p>
+<p>I must relate the girl’s whole history,</p>
+<p>And whence arises my connection with her.</p>
+<p>You I can trust as safely as myself:</p>
+<p>But if a stranger courts alliance with me,</p>
+<p>While we’re new friends, he’ll hold his peace perhaps,</p>
+<p>But if he cools, he’ll know too much of me.</p>
+<p>Then I’m afraid my wife should know of this;</p>
+<p>Which if she does, I’ve nothing else to do</p>
+<p>But shake myself, and leave my house directly:</p>
+<p>For I’ve no friend at home except myself.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I know it; and ’tis that which
+touches me.</p>
+<p>Nor are there any means I’ll leave untried,</p>
+<p>Till I have made my promise to you good.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">255</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "phor_III_II" id = "phor_III_II">
+SCENE II.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter, at another part of the stage, <span class =
+"charname">Geta</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta</span> (<i>to himself</i>). I never saw a
+more shrewd rogue than Phormio.</p>
+<p>I came to let him know we wanted money,</p>
+
+<p class = "second">
+With my device for getting it; and scarce</p>
+
+<p>With my advice for getting it; and scarce</p>
+<p>Had I related half, but he conceiv’d me.</p>
+<p>He was o’erjoy’d; commended me; demanded</p>
+<p>To meet with Demipho; and thank’d the god;</p>
+<p>That it was now the time to show himself</p>
+<p>As truly PhÊdria’s friend as Antipho’s.</p>
+<p>I bade him wait us at the Forum; whither</p>
+<p>I’d bring th’ old gentleman.&mdash;And there he is!</p>
+<p>&mdash;But who’s the furthermost? Ha! PhÊdria’s father.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Yet what was I afraid of, simpleton?</p>
+<p>That I have got two dupes instead of one?</p>
+<p>Is it not better that my hopes are doubled?</p>
+<p>&mdash;I’ll attack him, I first propos’d. If he</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">591</span>
+<p>Answers my expectation, well: if not,</p>
+<p>Why then have at you, uncle!</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">256</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "phor_III_III" id = "phor_III_III">
+SCENE III.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter behind, <span class = "charname">Antipho</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> (<i>to himself</i>). I expect</p>
+<p>Geta’s arrival presently.&mdash;But see!</p>
+<p>Yonder’s my uncle with my father.&mdash;Ah!</p>
+<p>How do I dread his influence!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> I’ll to them.</p>
+<p>Oh, good Sir Chremes! (<i>Going up.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Save you, save you, Geta!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> I’m glad to see you safe
+arriv’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I thank you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> How go affairs?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> A world of changes here,</p>
+<p>As usual at first coming home again.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> True. Have you heard of Antipho’s
+affair?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> The whole.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Demipho</span></i>). Did you inform him, Sir?&mdash;’Tis
+monstrous, Chremes,</p>
+<p>To he so shamefully impos’d upon!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> ’Twas on that point I was just
+talking with him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> And I too, having turn’d it in my
+thoughts,</p>
+<p>Have found, I think, a remedy.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> How, Geta?</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">257</span>
+<p>What remedy?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> On leaving you, by chance</p>
+<p>I met with Phormio.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Who is Phormio?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> The girl’s solicitor.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I understand.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> I thought within myself, “suppose
+I found him!”</p>
+<p>And taking him aside, “Now prithee, Phormio,</p>
+<p>Why don’t you try to settle this affair</p>
+<p>By fair means rather than by foul?” said I.</p>
+<p>“My master is a generous gentleman,</p>
+<p>And hates to go to law. For I assure you</p>
+<p>His other friends advis’d him, to a man,</p>
+<p>To turn this girl directly out o’ doors.”</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> (<i>behind</i>). What does he mean?
+or where will all this end?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> “The law, you think, will give you
+damages</p>
+<p>If he attempts to turn her out.&mdash;Alas!</p>
+<p>He has good counsel upon that.&mdash;I’ faith,</p>
+<p>You’ll have hot work if you engage with him;</p>
+<p>He’s such an orator!&mdash;But ev’n suppose</p>
+<p>That you should gain your lawsuit, after all</p>
+<p>The trial is not for his life, but money.”</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">592</span>
+<p>Perceiving him a little wrought upon,</p>
+<p>And soften’d by this style of talking with him,</p>
+<p>“Come now,” continued I, “we’re all alone.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">258</span>
+<p>Tell me, what money would you take in hand</p>
+<p>To drop your lawsuit, take away the girl,</p>
+<p>And trouble us no farther!”</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> (<i>behind</i>). Is he mad?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> &mdash;“For I am well convinc’d,
+that if your terms</p>
+<p>Are not extravagant and wild indeed,</p>
+<p>My master’s such a worthy gentleman,</p>
+<p>You will not change three words between you.”</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Who</p>
+<p>Commission’d you to say all this?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Nay, nay,</p>
+<p>Nothing could be more happy to effect</p>
+<p>The point we labor at.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> (<i>behind</i>). Undone!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Geta</span></i>). Go on.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> At first he rav’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Why, what did he demand?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Too much: as much as came into his
+head.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Well, but the sum?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> He talk’d of a great talent.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Plague on the rascal! what! has he
+no shame?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> The very thing I said to
+him.&mdash;“Suppose</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">259</span>
+<p>He was to portion out an only daughter,</p>
+<p>What could he give her more?&mdash;He profits little,</p>
+<p>Having no daughter of his own; since one</p>
+<p>Is found to carry off a fortune from him.”</p>
+<p>&mdash;But to be brief, and not to dwell upon</p>
+<p>All his impertinences, he at last</p>
+<p>Gave me this final answer.&mdash;“From the first,</p>
+<p>I wish’d,” said he, “as was indeed most fit,</p>
+<p>To wed the daughter of my friend myself.</p>
+<p>For I was well aware of her misfortune;</p>
+<p>That, being poor, she would be rather given</p>
+<p>In slavery, than wedlock, to the rich.</p>
+<p>But I was forc’d, to tell you the plain truth,</p>
+<p>To take a woman with some little fortune,</p>
+<p>To pay my debts: and still, if Demipho</p>
+<p>Is willing to advance as large a sum</p>
+<p>As I’m to have with one I’m now engag’d to.</p>
+<p>There is no wife I’d rather take than her.”</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> (<i>behind</i>). Whether through
+malice or stupidity,</p>
+<p>He is rank knave or fool, I can not tell.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Geta</span></i>). What, if he owes his soul?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> “I have a farm,”</p>
+<p>Continued he, “that’s mortgag’d for ten minÊ.”</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Well, let him take her then: I’ll
+pay the money.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> "A house for ten more.”</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Huy! huy! that’s too much.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">593</span>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">260</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> No noise! demand those ten of
+me.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> “My wife</p>
+<p>Must buy a maid; some little furniture</p>
+<p>Is also requisite; and some expense</p>
+<p>To keep our wedding: all these articles,”</p>
+<p>Continues he, “we’ll reckon at ten minÊ.”</p>
+
+<p class = "second first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> No; let him bring ten thousand
+writs against me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> No; let him bring a thousand writs
+against me.</p>
+<p>I’ll give him nothing. What! afford the villain</p>
+<p>An opportunity to laugh at me?</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "mynote">
+Colman’s note on this passage says in part: “I have ... rendered
+the <i>sexcentas</i> of Terence by <i>Ten Thousand</i>, as being most
+agreeable to the English idiom, as well as the Greek.”</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Nay, but be pacified! I’ll pay
+the money.</p>
+<p>Only do you prevail upon your son</p>
+<p>To marry her whom we desire.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> (<i>behind</i>). Ah me!</p>
+<p>Geta, your treachery has ruin’d me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> She’s put away on my account:
+’tis just</p>
+<p>That I should pay the money.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> “Let me know,”</p>
+<p>Continues he, “as soon as possible,</p>
+<p>Whether they mean to have me marry her;</p>
+<p>That I may part with t’other, and be certain.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">261</span>
+<p>For t’other girl’s relations have agreed</p>
+<p>To pay the portion down immediately.”</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> He shall be paid this too
+immediately.</p>
+<p>Let him break off with her, and take this girl!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Aye, and the plague go with
+him!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Luckily</p>
+<p>It happens I’ve some money here; the rents</p>
+<p>Of my wife’s farms at Lemnos. I’ll take that; (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Demipho</span></i>)</p>
+<p>And tell my wife that you had need of it.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exeunt.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "phor_III_IV" id = "phor_III_IV">
+SCENE IV.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Manent <span class = "charname">Antipho</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Geta</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> (<i>coming forward</i>). Geta!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Ha, Antipho!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> What have you done!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Trick’d the old bubbles of their
+money.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Well,</p>
+<p>Is that sufficient, think ye?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> I can’t tell.</p>
+<p>’Twas all my orders.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Knave, d’ye shuffle with me?
+(<i>Kicks him.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Plague! what d’ye mean?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> What do I mean, Sirrah!</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">262</span>
+<p>You’ve driven me to absolute perdition.</p>
+<p>All pow’rs of heav’n and hell confound you for’t,</p>
+<p>And make you an example to all villains!</p>
+<p>&mdash;Here! would you have your business duly manag’d,</p>
+<p>Commit it to this fellow!&mdash;What could be</p>
+<p>More tender than to touch upon this sore,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">594</span>
+<p>Or even name my wife? my father’s fill’d</p>
+<p>With hopes that she may be dismiss’d.&mdash;And then,</p>
+<p>If Phormio gets the money for the portion,</p>
+<p>He, to be sure, must marry her.&mdash;And what</p>
+<p>Becomes of me then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> He’ll not marry her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Oh, no: but when they redemand the
+money,</p>
+<p>On my account he’ll rather go to jail! (<i>Ironically.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Many a tale is spoiled in telling,
+Antipho.</p>
+<p>You take out all the good, and leave the bad.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Now hear the other side&mdash;If he receives</p>
+<p>The money, he must wed the girl: I grant it.</p>
+<p>But then some little time must be allow’d</p>
+<p>For wedding-preparation, invitation,</p>
+<p>And sacrifices.&mdash;Meanwhile, PhÊdria’s friends</p>
+<p>Advance the money they have promis’d him:</p>
+<p>Which Phormio shall make use of for repayment.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> How so? what reason can he
+give?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">263</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> What reason?</p>
+<p>A thousand.&mdash;“Since I made this fatal bargain,</p>
+<p>Omens and prodigies have happen’d to me.</p>
+<p>There came a strange black dog into my house!</p>
+<p>A snake fell through the tiling! a hen crow’d!</p>
+<p>The Soothsayer forbade it! The Diviner</p>
+<p>Charg’d me to enter on no new affair</p>
+<p>Before the winter.”&mdash;All sufficient reasons.</p>
+<p>Thus it shall be.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Pray Heav’n it may be!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> It shall.</p>
+<p>Depend on me:&mdash;But here’s your father.&mdash;Go;</p>
+<p>Tell PhÊdria that the money’s safe.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Antipho</span>.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "phor_III_V" id = "phor_III_V">
+SCENE V.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Re-enter <span class = "charname">Demipho</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Chremes</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Nay, peace!</p>
+<p>I’ll warrant he shall play no tricks upon us:</p>
+<p>I’ll not part rashly with it, I assure you;</p>
+<p>But pay it before witnesses, reciting</p>
+<p>To whom ’tis paid, and why ’tis paid.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> How cautious,</p>
+<p>Where there is no occasion! (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> You had need.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">264</span>
+<p>But haste, dispatch it while the fit’s upon him:</p>
+<p>For if the other party should be pressing,</p>
+<p>Perhaps he’ll break with us.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> You’ve hit it, Sir.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Carry me to him then.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> I wait your pleasure.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">595</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Demipho</span></i>). When this is done, step over to my
+wife,</p>
+<p>That she may see the girl before she goes;</p>
+<p>And tell her, to prevent her being angry,</p>
+<p>“That we’ve agreed to marry her to Phormio,</p>
+<p>Her old acquaintance, and a fitter match;</p>
+<p>That we have not been wanting in our duty,</p>
+<p>But giv’n as large a portion as he ask’d.”</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Pshaw! what’s all this to you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> A great deal, brother.</p>
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Is’t not sufficient to have done
+your duty,</p>
+<p>Unless the world approves it?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I would choose</p>
+<p>To have the whole thing done by her consent,</p>
+
+<p class = "second">
+Lest she pretend we turn’d her out o’ doors.</p>
+
+<p>Lest she pretend she was turn’d out o’ doors.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Well, I can say all this to her
+myself.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> A woman deals much better with a
+woman.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I’ll ask your wife to do it
+then.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exeunt <span class = "charname">Demipho</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Geta</span>.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">265</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I’m thinking</p>
+<p>Where I shall find these women now.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "phor_III_VI" id = "phor_III_VI">
+SCENE VI.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Sophrona</span> at a distance.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Soph.</span> (<i>to herself</i>). Alas!</p>
+<p>What shall I do, unhappy as I am?</p>
+<p>Where find a friend? to whom disclose this story?</p>
+<p>Of whom beseech assistance?&mdash;For I fear</p>
+<p>My mistress will sustain some injury</p>
+<p>From following my counsel: the youth’s father,</p>
+<p>I hear, is so offended at this marriage.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Who’s this old woman, coming from
+my brother’s,</p>
+<p>That seems so terrified?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Soph.</span> (<i>to herself</i>). ’Twas
+poverty</p>
+<p>Compell’d me to this action: though I knew</p>
+<p>This match would hardly hold together long,</p>
+<p>Yet I advis’d her to it, that meanwhile</p>
+<p>She might not want subsistence.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">266</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Surely, surely,</p>
+<p>Either my mind deceives me, or my eyes fail me,</p>
+<p>Or that’s my daughter’s nurse.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Soph.</span> Nor can we find&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What shall I do?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Soph.</span> &mdash;Her father out.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Were’t best</p>
+<p>I should go up to her, or wait a little,</p>
+<p>To gather something more from her discourse?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Soph.</span> Could he be found, my fears were
+at an end.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> ’Tis she. I’ll speak with
+her.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">596</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Soph.</span> (<i>overhearing</i>). Whose voice
+is that?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Sophrona!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Soph.</span> Ha! my name too?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Look this way.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Soph.</span> (<i>turning</i>). Good Heav’n have
+mercy on us! Stilpho!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> No.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Soph.</span> Deny your own name?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> (<i>in a low voice</i>). This
+way, Sophrona!&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>&mdash;A little further from that door!&mdash;this
+way!&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>And never call me by that name, I charge you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Soph.</span> What, ar’n’t you then the man you
+said you was? (<i>Aloud.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Hist! hist!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">267</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Soph.</span> What makes you fear those doors so
+much?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I have a fury of a wife
+within:</p>
+<p>And formerly I went by that false name,</p>
+<p>Lest she should indiscreetly blab it out,</p>
+<p>And so my wife might come to hear of this.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Soph.</span> Ah! thus it was, that we, alas!
+poor souls,</p>
+<p>Could never find you out here.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Well, but tell me,</p>
+<p>What business have you with that family? (<i>Pointing.</i>)</p>
+<p>&mdash;Where is your mistress and her daughter?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Soph.</span> Ah!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What now? are they alive?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Soph.</span> The daughter is:</p>
+<p>The mother broke her heart with grief.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Alas!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Soph.</span> And I a poor, unknown, distress’d
+old woman,</p>
+<p>Endeavoring to manage for the best,</p>
+<p>Contriv’d to match the virgin to a youth,</p>
+<p>Son to the master of this house.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> To Antipho?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Soph.</span> The very same.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What! has he two wives then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Soph.</span> No, mercy on us! he has none but
+her.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What is the other then, who, they
+pretend,</p>
+<p>Is a relation to him?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Soph.</span> This is she.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> How say you?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">268</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Soph.</span> It was all a mere contrivance:</p>
+<p>That he, who was in love, might marry her</p>
+<p>Without a portion.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> O ye powers of heav’n,</p>
+<p>How often fortune blindly brings about</p>
+<p>More than we dare to hope for! Coming home,</p>
+<p>I’ve found my daughter, even to my wish,</p>
+<p>Match’d to the very person I desir’d.</p>
+<p>What we have both been laboring to effect,</p>
+<p>Has this poor woman all alone accomplish’d.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Soph.</span> But now consider what is to be
+done!</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">597</span>
+<p>The bridegroom’s father is return’d; and he,</p>
+<p>They say, is much offended at this marriage.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Be of good comfort: there’s no
+danger there.</p>
+<p>But, in the name of heav’n and earth, I charge you,</p>
+<p>Let nobody discover she’s my daughter.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Soph.</span> None shall discover it from
+me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Come then!</p>
+<p>Follow me in, and you shall hear the rest.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exeunt.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">269</span>
+<h4 class = "act"><a name = "phor_IV" id = "phor_IV">
+ACT THE FOURTH.</a></h4>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "phor_IV_I" id = "phor_IV_I">
+SCENE I.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Demipho</span>, <span class =
+"charname">Geta</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> ’Tis our own fault that we
+encourage rogues,</p>
+<p>By overstraining the due character</p>
+<p>Of honesty and generosity.</p>
+<p>“Shoot not beyond the mark,” the proverb goes.</p>
+<p>Was’t not enough that he had done us wrong,</p>
+<p>But we must also throw him money too,</p>
+<p>To live till he devises some new mischief?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Very right!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Knavery’s now its own reward.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Very true!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">270</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> How like fools have we behav’d!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> So as he keeps his word, and takes
+the girl,</p>
+<p>’Tis well enough.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Is that a doubt at present?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> A man, you know, may change his
+mind.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> How! change?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> That I can’t tell: but, if
+perhaps, I say.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I’ll now perform my promise to my
+brother,</p>
+<p>And bring his wife to talk to the young woman.</p>
+<p>You, Geta, go before, and let her know</p>
+<p>Nausistrata will come and speak with her.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Demipho</span>.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "phor_IV_II" id = "phor_IV_II">
+SCENE II.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Geta</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>The money’s got for PhÊdria: all is hush’d:</p>
+<p>And Phanium is not to depart as yet.</p>
+<p>What more then? where will all this end at last?</p>
+<p>&mdash;Alas! you’re sticking in the same mire still:</p>
+<p>You’ve only chang’d hands, Geta. The disaster</p>
+<p>That hung but now directly over you,</p>
+<p>Delay perhaps will bring more heavy on you.</p>
+<p>You’re quite beset, unless you look about.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">598</span>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">271</span>
+<p>&mdash;Now then I’ll home; to lesson Phanium,</p>
+<p>That she mayn’t stand in fear of Phormio,</p>
+<p>Nor dread this conf’rence with Nausistrata.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "phor_IV_III" id = "phor_IV_III">
+SCENE III.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Demipho</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Nausistrata</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Come then, Nausistrata, afford us
+now</p>
+<p>A little of your usual art, and try</p>
+<p>To put this woman in good humor with us;</p>
+<p>That what is done she may do willingly.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> I will.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> And now assist us with your
+counsel,</p>
+<p>As with your cash a little while ago.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> With all my heart: and I am only
+sorry</p>
+<p>That ’tis my husband’s fault I can’t do more.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> How so?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> Because he takes such little
+care</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">272</span>
+<p>Of the estate my father nurs’d so well:</p>
+<p>For from these very farms he never fail’d</p>
+<p>To draw two talents by the year. But ah!</p>
+<p>What difference between man and man!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Two talents?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> Aye&mdash;in worse times than
+these&mdash;and yet two talents?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Huy!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> What, are you surpris’d?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Prodigiously.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> Would I had been a man! I’d
+show&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> No doubt.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> &mdash;By what
+means&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Nay, but spare yourself a
+little</p>
+<p>For the encounter with the girl: lest she,</p>
+<p>Flippant and young, may weary you too much.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> &mdash;Well, I’ll obey your
+orders: but I see</p>
+<p>My husband coming forth.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "phor_IV_IV" id = "phor_IV_IV">
+SCENE IV.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Chremes</span>, hastily.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<div class = "split">
+
+<p class = "second">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Ha! Demipho!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Ha! </p>
+<p>Has Phormio had the money yet?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I paid him</p>
+<p>Immediately.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">273</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I’m sorry for’t.&mdash;
+(<i>Seeing <span class = "charname">Nausistrata</span>.</i>)&mdash;My
+wife!</p>
+<p>I’d almost said too much. (<i>Aside.</i>)
+</p>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Why sorry, Chremes?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Nothing.&mdash;No matter.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Well, but hark ye, Chremes!</p>
+<p>Have you been talking with the girl, and told her</p>
+<p>Wherefore we bring your wife?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">599</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I’ve settled it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Well, and what says she?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> ’Tis impossible</p>
+<p>To send her hence.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> And why impossible?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Because they are both so fond of
+one another.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> What’s that to us?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> A great deal. And besides,</p>
+<p>I have discover’d she’s related to us.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Have you your wits?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> ’Tis so. I’m very serious.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Nay, recollect a little!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Are you mad?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> Good now, beware of wronging a
+relation!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> She’s no relation to us.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Don’t deny it.</p>
+<p>Her father had assum’d another name,</p>
+<p>And that deceiv’d you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> What! not know her father?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Perfectly.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">274</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Why did she misname him then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Won’t you be rul’d, nor
+understand me then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> What can I understand from
+nothing?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Still? (<i>Impatiently.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> I can’t imagine what this
+means.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Nor I.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Would you know all?&mdash;Why
+then, so help me Heaven,</p>
+<p>She has no nearer kindred in the world</p>
+<p>Than you and I.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Oh, all ye powers of heaven!</p>
+<p>&mdash;Let us go to her then immediately:</p>
+<p>I would fain know, or not know, all at once. (<i>Going.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Ah! (<i>Stopping him.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> What’s the matter?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Can’t you trust me then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Must I believe it? take it upon
+trust?</p>
+<p>&mdash;Well, be it so!&mdash;But what is to be done</p>
+<p>With our friend’s daughter?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Nothing.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Drop her?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Aye.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> And keep this?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Aye.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Why then, Nausistrata,</p>
+<p>You may return. We need not trouble you.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">275</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> Indeed, I think, ’tis better on
+all sides,</p>
+<p>That you should keep her here, than send her hence.</p>
+<p>For she appear’d to me, when first I saw her,</p>
+<p>Much of a gentlewoman.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">
+Exit <span class = "charname">Nausistrata</span>.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">600</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "phor_IV_V" id = "phor_IV_V">
+SCENE V.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Manent <span class = "charname">Demipho</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Chremes</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> What means this?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> (<i>looking after <span class =
+"charname">Nausistrata</span></i>). Is the door shut?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> It is.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> O Jupiter!</p>
+<p>The Gods take care of us. I’ve found my daughter</p>
+<p>Married to your son.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Ha! how could it be?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> It is not safe to tell you
+here.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Step in then.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> But hark ye, Demipho!&mdash;I
+would not have</p>
+<p>Even our very sons inform’d of this.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exeunt.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">276</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "phor_IV_VI" id = "phor_IV_VI">
+SCENE VI.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Antipho</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>I’m glad, however my affairs proceed,</p>
+<p>That PhÊdria’s have succeeded to his mind.</p>
+<p>How wise to foster such desires alone,</p>
+<p>As, although cross’d, are easily supplied!</p>
+<p>Money, once found, sets PhÊdria at his ease;</p>
+<p>But my distress admits no remedy.</p>
+<p>For, if the secret’s kept, I live in fear;</p>
+<p>And if reveal’d, I am expos’d to shame.</p>
+<p>Nor would I now return, but in the hope</p>
+<p>Of still possessing her.&mdash;But where is Geta?</p>
+<p>That I may learn of him the fittest time</p>
+<p>To meet my father.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "phor_IV_VII" id = "phor_IV_VII">
+SCENE VII.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter, at a distance, <span class = "charname">Phormio</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> (<i>to himself</i>). I’ve receiv’d
+the money;</p>
+<p>Paid the procurer; carried off the wench;</p>
+<p>Who’s free, and now in PhÊdria’s possession.</p>
+<p>One thing alone remains to be dispatch’d;</p>
+<p>To get a respite from th’ old gentlemen</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">277</span>
+<p>To tipple some few days, which I must spend</p>
+<p>In mirth and jollity.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> But yonder’s Phormio.&mdash;
+(<i>Goes up.</i>)</p>
+<p>What now?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Of what?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> What’s PhÊdria about?</p>
+<p>How does he mean to take his fill of love?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> By acting your part in his
+turn.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">601</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> What part?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Flying his father’s
+presence.&mdash;And he begs</p>
+<p>That you’d act his, and make excuses for him;</p>
+<p>For he intends a drinking-bout with me.</p>
+<p>I shall pretend to the old gentlemen</p>
+<p>That I am going to the fair at Sunium,</p>
+<p>To buy the servant-maid that Geta mention’d:</p>
+<p>Lest, finding I am absent, they suspect</p>
+<p>That I am squandering the sum they paid me.</p>
+<p>&mdash;But your door opens.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Who comes here?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> ’Tis Geta.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">278</span>
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "phor_IV_VIII" id = "phor_IV_VIII">
+SCENE VIII.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter hastily, at another part of the stage, <span class =
+"charname">Geta</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> O fortune, O best fortune, what
+high blessings,</p>
+<p>What sudden, great, and unexpected joys</p>
+<p>Hast thou shower’d down on Antipho to-day!&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> What can this be he’s so rejoic’d
+about?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> &mdash;And from what fears
+deliver’d us, his friends?</p>
+<p>&mdash;But wherefore do I loiter thus? and why</p>
+<p>Do I not throw my cloak upon my shoulder,</p>
+<p>And haste to find him out, that he may know</p>
+<p>All that has happen’d?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Phormio</span></i>). Do you comprehend</p>
+<p>What he is talking of?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Do you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Not I.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> I’m just as wise as you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> I’ll hurry hence</p>
+<p>To the procurer’s.&mdash;I shall find them there. (<i>Going.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Ho, Geta!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">279</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Look ye there!&mdash;Is’t new or
+strange,</p>
+<p>To be recall’d when one’s in haste? (<i>Going.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Here, Geta!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Again? bawl on! I’ll ne’er stop.
+(<i>Going on.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Stay, I say!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Go, and be drubb’d!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> You shall, I promise you,</p>
+<p>Unless you stop, you rascal!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta</span> (<i>stopping</i>). Hold, hold,
+Geta!</p>
+<p>Some intimate acquaintance this, be sure,</p>
+<p>Being so free with you.&mdash;But is it he</p>
+<p>That I am looking for, or not?&mdash;’Tis he.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Go up immediately. (<i>They go up
+to <span class = "charname">Geta</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Geta</span></i>). What means all this?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> O happy man! the happiest man on
+earth!</p>
+<p>So very happy, that, beyond all doubt,</p>
+<p>You are the God’s chief fav’rite, Antipho.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">602</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Would I were! but your reason.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Is’t enough</p>
+<p>To plunge you over head and ears in joy?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> You torture me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> No promises! but tell us</p>
+<p>What is your news?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Oh, Phormio! are you here?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> I am: but why d’ye trifle?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Mind me then! (<i>To <span class =
+"charname">Phormio</span>.</i>)</p>
+<p>No sooner had we paid you at the Forum,</p>
+<p>But we return’d directly home again.</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">280</span>
+<p>&mdash;Arriv’d, my master sends me to your wife. (<i>To <span class =
+"charname">Antipho</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> For what?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> No matter now, good Antipho.</p>
+<p>I was just entering the women’s lodging,</p>
+<p>When up runs little Mida; catches me</p>
+<p>Hold by the cloak behind, and pulls me back.</p>
+<p>I turn about, and ask why he detains me.</p>
+<p>He told me, “Nobody must see his mistress:</p>
+<p>For Sophrona,” says he, “has just now brought</p>
+<p>Demipho’s brother, Chremes, here; and he</p>
+<p>Is talking with the women now within.”</p>
+<p>&mdash;When I heard this, I stole immediately</p>
+<p>On tip-toe tow’rd the door; came close; stood hush;</p>
+<p>Drew in my breath; applied my ear; and thus,</p>
+<p>Deep in attention, catch’d their whole discourse.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Excellent, Geta!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Here I overheard</p>
+<p>The pleasantest adventure! On my life,</p>
+<p>I scarce refrain’d from crying out for joy.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> What?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> What d’ye think?
+(<i>Laughing.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> I can’t tell,</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Oh! it was (<i>laughing.</i>)</p>
+<p>Most wonderful!&mdash;most exquisite!&mdash;your uncle</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">281</span>
+<p>Is found to be the father of your wife.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> How! what?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> He had a sly intrigue, it
+seems,</p>
+<p>With Phanium’s mother formerly at Lemnos. (<i>Laughing.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Nonsense! as if she did not know
+her father!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Nay, there’s some reason for it,
+Phormio,</p>
+<p>You may be sure.&mdash;But was it possible</p>
+<p>For me, who stood without, to comprehend</p>
+<p>Each minute circumstance that pass’d within?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> I have heard something of this
+story too.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Then, Sir, to settle your belief
+the more,</p>
+<p>At last out comes your uncle; and soon after</p>
+<p>Returns again, and carries in your father.</p>
+<p>Then they both said, they gave their full consent</p>
+<p>That you should keep your Phanium.&mdash;In a word,</p>
+<p>I’m sent to find you out, and bring you to them.
+</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">603</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> Away with me then instantly! D’ye
+linger?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">282</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Geta.</span> Not I. Away!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Ant.</span> My Phormio, fare you well!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Fare you well, Antipho!</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exeunt.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "phor_IV_IX" id = "phor_IV_IX">
+SCENE IX.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+<span class = "charname">Phormio</span> alone.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p>Well done, ’fore Heaven!</p>
+<p>I’m overjoy’d to see so much good fortune</p>
+<p>Fallen thus unexpectedly upon them:</p>
+<p>I’ve now an admirable opportunity</p>
+<p>To bubble the old gentlemen, and ease</p>
+<p>PhÊdria of all his cares about the money;</p>
+<p>So that he need not be oblig’d to friends.</p>
+<p>For this same money, though it will be given,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">283</span>
+<p>Will yet come from them much against the grain;</p>
+<p>But I have found a way to force them to’t.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Now then I must assume a grander air,</p>
+<p>And put another face upon this business.</p>
+<p>&mdash;I’ll hence a while into the next by-alley,</p>
+<p>And pop upon them as they’re coming forth.</p>
+<p>&mdash;As for the trip I talk’d of to the fair,</p>
+<p>I sha’n’t pretend to take that journey now.</p>
+
+<p class = "exit">Exit.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<hr class = "act">
+
+<h4 class = "act"><a name = "phor_V" id = "phor_V">
+ACT THE FIFTH.</a></h4>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "phor_V_I" id = "phor_V_I">
+SCENE I.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+Enter <span class = "charname">Demipho</span> and <span class =
+"charname">Chremes</span>&mdash;and soon after, on t’other side, <span
+class = "charname">Phormio</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Well may we thank the gracious
+Gods, good brother,</p>
+<p>That all things have succeeded to our wish.</p>
+<p>&mdash;But now let’s find out Phormio with all speed,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">285</span>
+<p>Before he throws away our thirty minÊ.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> (<i>pretending not to see
+him</i>).</p>
+<p>I’ll go and see if Demipho’s at home,</p>
+<p>That I may&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> (<i>meeting him</i>).&mdash;We were
+coming to you, Phormio.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> On the old score, I warrant.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Aye.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> I thought so.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Why should you go to me?&mdash;ridiculous!</p>
+<p>Was you afraid I’d break my contract with you?</p>
+<p>No, no! how great soe’er my poverty,</p>
+<p>I’ve always shown myself a man of honor.
+</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">604</span>
+
+<table class = "bracket" summary = "bracketed text">
+<tr>
+<td>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Has not she, as I said, a liberal
+air?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> She has.</p>
+</td>
+<td class = "bracket two">
+<i>Apart.</i>
+</td>
+</tr>
+</table>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">286</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> &mdash;And therefore I was coming,
+Demipho,</p>
+<p>To let you know I’m ready to receive</p>
+<p>My wife whene’er you please. For I postpon’d</p>
+<p>All other business, as indeed I ought,</p>
+<p>Soon as I found ye were so bent on this.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Aye, but my brother has dissuaded
+me</p>
+<p>From going any further in this business.</p>
+<p>“For how will people talk of it?” says he:</p>
+<p>“At first you might have done it handsomely;</p>
+<p>But then you’d not consent to it; and now,</p>
+<p>After cohabitation with your son,</p>
+<p>To think of a divorce is infamous.”</p>
+<p>&mdash;In short, he urg’d almost the very things</p>
+<p>That you so lately charg’d me with yourself.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> You trifle with me, gentlemen.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> How so?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> How so? Because I can not marry
+t’other,</p>
+<p>With whom I told you I was first in treaty.</p>
+<p>For with what face can I return to her</p>
+<p>Whom I have held in such contempt?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Tell him</p>
+<p>Antipho does not care to part with her. (<i>Prompting <span class =
+"charname">Demipho</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> And my son too don’t care to part
+with her:</p>
+<p>&mdash;Step to the Forum then, and give an order</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">287</span>
+<p>For the repayment of our money, Phormio.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> What! when I’ve paid it to my
+creditors?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> What’s to be done then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Give me but the wife</p>
+<p>To whom you have betroth’d me, and I’ll wed her.</p>
+<p>But if you’d rather she should stay with you,</p>
+<p>The portion stays with me, good Demipho,</p>
+<p>For ’tis not just I should be bubbled by you;</p>
+<p>When, to retrieve your honor, I’ve refus’d</p>
+<p>Another woman with an equal fortune.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> A plague upon your idle
+vaporing,</p>
+<p>You vagabond!&mdash;D’ye fancy we don’t know you?</p>
+<p>You, and your fine proceedings?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> You provoke me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Why, would you marry her, if
+proffer’d?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Try me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> What! that my son may keep her
+privately</p>
+<p>At your house?&mdash;That was your intention.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Ha!</p>
+<p>What say you, Sir?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Give me my money, Sirrah!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Give me my wife, I say.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> To justice with him!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> To justice? Now, by Heaven,
+gentlemen,</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">288</span>
+<p>If you continue to be troublesome&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">605</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> What will you do?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> What will I do? Perhaps</p>
+<p>You think that I can only patronize</p>
+<p>Girls without portion; but be sure of this,</p>
+<p>I’ve some with portions too.
+</p>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What’s that to us?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Nothing.&mdash;I know a lady here
+whose husband&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Ha! (<i>Carelessly.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> What’s the matter?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> &mdash;Had another wife</p>
+<p>At Lemnos.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> (<i>aside</i>). I’m a dead
+man.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> &mdash;By which other</p>
+<p>He had a daughter; whom he now brings up</p>
+<p>In private.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> (<i>aside</i>). Dead and
+buried.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> This I’ll tell her. (<i>Going
+toward the house.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Don’t, I beseech you!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">289</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Oh! are you the man?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Death! how insulting!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Phormio</span></i>). We discharge you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Nonsense!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What would you more? The money
+you have got</p>
+<p>We will forgive you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Well; I hear you now.</p>
+<p>&mdash;But what a plague d’ye mean by fooling thus,</p>
+<p>Acting and talking like mere children with me?</p>
+<p>&mdash;I won’t; I will: I will; I won’t again:&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+<p>Give, take; say, unsay; do, and then undo.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Demipho</span></i>). Which way could he have learn’d
+this?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I don’t know;</p>
+<p>But I am sure I never mention’d it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Good now! amazing!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> I have ruffled them.
+(<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> What! shall he carry off so large a
+sum,</p>
+<p>And laugh at us so openly?&mdash;By Heaven,</p>
+<p>I’d rather die.&mdash;Be of good courage, brother!</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">290</span>
+<p>Pluck up the spirit of a man! You see</p>
+<p>This slip of yours is got abroad; nor can you</p>
+<p>Keep it a secret from your wife. Now, therefore,</p>
+<p>’Tis more conducive to your peace, good Chremes,</p>
+<p>That we should fairly tell it her ourselves,</p>
+<p>Than she should hear the story from another.</p>
+<p>And then we shall be quite at liberty</p>
+<p>To take our own revenge upon this rascal.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Ha!&mdash;If I don’t take care I’m
+ruin’d still.</p>
+<p>They’re growing desperate, and making tow’rd me</p>
+<p>With a determin’d gladiatorial air.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Demipho</span></i>). I fear she’ll ne’er forgive me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Courage, Chremes!</p>
+<span class = "pagenum harper">606</span>
+<p>I’ll reconcile her to’t; especially</p>
+<p>The mother being dead and gone.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Is this</p>
+<p>Your dealing, gentlemen? You come upon me</p>
+<p>Extremely cunningly.&mdash;But, Demipho,</p>
+<p>You have but ill consulted for your brother,</p>
+<p>To urge me to extremities.&mdash;And you, Sir (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Chremes</span></i>),</p>
+<p>When you have play’d the whoremaster abroad;</p>
+<p>Having no reverence for your lady here,</p>
+<p>A woman of condition; wronging her</p>
+<p>After the grossest manner; come you now</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">291</span>
+<p>To wash away your crimes with mean submission?</p>
+<p>No.&mdash;I will kindle such a flame in her,</p>
+<p>As, though you melt in tears, you sha’n’t extinguish.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> A plague upon him! was there ever
+man</p>
+<p>So very impudent?&mdash;A knave! he ought</p>
+<p>To be transported at the public charge</p>
+<p>Into some desert.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I am so confounded,</p>
+<p>I know not what to do with him.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I know.</p>
+<p>Bring him before a judge!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Before a judge?</p>
+<p>A lady-judge; in here, Sirs, if you please.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Run you and hold him, while I call
+her servants.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> I can not by myself; come up and
+help me.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> I have an action of assault
+against you. (<i>To <span class = "charname">Demipho</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Bring it!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Another against you too,
+Chremes!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">292</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Drag him away! (<i>Both lay hold of
+him.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> (<i>struggling</i>). Is that your
+way with me!</p>
+<p>Then I must raise my voice.&mdash;Nausistrata!</p>
+<p>Come hither.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Stop his mouth!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> (<i>struggling</i>). A sturdy
+rogue!</p>
+<p>How strong he is!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> (<i>struggling</i>). Nausistrata,
+I say.</p>
+<p>Nausistrata!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> (<i>struggling</i>). Peace,
+Sirrah!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Peace, indeed!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Unless he follows, strike him in
+the stomach!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Aye, or put out an eye!&mdash;But
+here comes one</p>
+<p>Will give me full revenge upon you both.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<h5 class = "scene"><a name = "phor_V_II" id = "phor_V_II">
+SCENE II.</a></h5>
+
+<p class = "scenedesc">
+To them <span class = "charname">Nausistrata</span>.</p>
+
+<div class = "scene">
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> Who calls for me?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Confusion!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">607</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Chremes</span></i>). Pray, my dear,</p>
+<p>What’s this disturbance?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Dumb, old Truepenny!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> Who is this man?&mdash;Why don’t
+you answer me? (<i>To <span class = "charname">Chremes</span>.</i>)</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">293</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> He answer you! he’s hardly in his
+senses.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Never believe him!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Do but go and touch him;</p>
+<p>He’s in a shivering fit, I’ll lay my life.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Nay&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> But what means he then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> I’ll tell you, madam;</p>
+<p>Do but attend!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Will you believe him then?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> What is there to believe, when he
+says nothing?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Poor man! his fear deprives him of
+his wits.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Chremes</span></i>). I’m sure you’re not so much afraid</p>
+<p>for nothing.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> What! I afraid? (<i>Endeavoring
+to take heart.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Oh, not at all!&mdash;And
+since</p>
+<p>You’re in no fright, and what I say means nothing,</p>
+<p>Tell it yourself.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> At your desire, you rascal?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Oh, you’ve done rarely for your
+brother, Sir!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">294</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> What! Won’t you tell me,
+husband?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> But&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> But what?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> There’s no occasion for it.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Not for you:</p>
+<p>But for the Lady there is much occasion.</p>
+<p>In Lemnos&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Ha! what say you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> (<i>to <span class =
+"charname">Phormio</span></i>). Hold your peace!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Without your
+knowledge&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> Oh dear!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> He has had</p>
+<p>Another wife.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> My husband? Heav’n forbid!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> ’Tis even so.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> Ah me! I am undone.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> &mdash;And had a daughter by her
+there; while you</p>
+<p>Was left to sleep in ignorance alone.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> Oh
+Heavens!&mdash;Baseness!&mdash;Treachery!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> ’Tis fact.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> Was ever any thing more
+infamous?</p>
+<p>When they’re with us, their wives forsooth, they’re old.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Demipho, I appeal to you: for him</p>
+<p>I can not bear to speak to.&mdash;And were these</p>
+<p>His frequent journeys and long stay at Lemnos?</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">295</span>
+<p>Was this the cheapness that reduc’d our rents?</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">608</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> That he has been to blame,
+Nausistrata,</p>
+<p>I don’t deny; but not beyond all pardon.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> You’re talking to the dead.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> It was not done</p>
+<p>Out of aversion or contempt to you.</p>
+<p>In liquor, almost fifteen years ago,</p>
+<p>He met this woman, whence he had this daughter;</p>
+<p>Nor e’er had commerce with her from that hour.</p>
+<p>She’s dead: your only grievance is remov’d.</p>
+<p>Wherefore I beg you’d show your wonted goodness,</p>
+<p>And bear it patiently.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> How! bear it patiently?</p>
+<p>Alas! I wish his vices might end here.</p>
+<p>But have I the least hope? can I suppose</p>
+<p>That years will cure these rank offenses in him?</p>
+<p>Ev’n at that time he was already old,</p>
+<p>If age could make him modest.&mdash;Are my years</p>
+<p>And beauty, think ye, like to please him more</p>
+<p>At present, Demipho, than formerly?</p>
+<p>&mdash;In short, what ground, what reason to expect</p>
+<p>That he should not commit the same hereafter?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> (<i>aloud</i>). Whoever would
+attend the funeral</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">296</span>
+<p>Of Chremes, now’s the time!&mdash;See! that’s my way.</p>
+<p>Come on then! provoke Phormio now, who dares!</p>
+<p>Like Chremes, he shall fall a victim to me.</p>
+<p>&mdash;Let him get into favor when he will!</p>
+<p>I’ve had revenge sufficient. She has something</p>
+<p>To ring into his ears his whole life long.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> Have I deserv’d this?&mdash;Need
+I, Demipho,</p>
+<p>Number up each particular, and say</p>
+<p>How good a wife I’ve been?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> I know it all.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> Am I then justly treated?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> Not at all.</p>
+<p>But since reproaches can’t undo what’s done,</p>
+<p>Forgive him! he begs pardon; owns his fault;</p>
+<p>And promises to mend.&mdash;What would you more?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> But hold; before she ratifies his
+pardon,</p>
+<p>I must secure myself and PhÊdria. (<i>Aside.</i>)</p>
+<p>&mdash;Nausistrata, a word!&mdash;Before you give</p>
+<p>Your answer rashly, hear me!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> What’s your pleasure?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> I trick’d your husband there of
+thirty minÊ,</p>
+<p>Which I have giv’n your son; and he has paid them</p>
+<p>To a procurer for a mistress.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Chrem.</span> How!</p>
+<span class = "pagenum colman">297</span>
+<p>What say you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> Is it such a heinous crime</p>
+<p>For your young son, d’ye think, to have <i>one</i> mistress,</p>
+<p>While <i>you</i> have <i>two</i> wives?&mdash;Are you not
+asham’d?</p>
+<p>Have you the face to chide him? answer me!</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum harper">609</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> He shall do ev’ry thing you
+please.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> Nay, nay,</p>
+<p>To tell you plainly my whole mind at once,</p>
+<p>I’ll not forgive, nor promise any thing,</p>
+<p>Nor give an answer, till I see my son.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Wisely resolv’d, Nausistrata.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> Is that</p>
+<p>Sufficient satisfaction for you?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Quite.</p>
+<p>I rest contented, well pleas’d, past my hopes.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> What is your name, pray?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> My name? Phormio:</p>
+<p>A faithful friend to all your family,</p>
+<p>Especially to PhÊdria.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> Trust me, Phormio,</p>
+<p>I’ll do you all the service in my power.
+</p>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> I’m much oblig’d to you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> You’re worthy on’t.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Will you then even now,
+Nausistrata,</p>
+<p>Grant me one favor that will pleasure me,</p>
+<p>And grieve your husband’s sight?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> With all my soul.</p>
+
+<span class = "pagenum colman">298</span>
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> Ask me to supper!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> I invite you.</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Dem.</span> In then!</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Naus.</span> We will. But where is PhÊdria, our
+judge?</p>
+
+<p class = "first">
+<span class = "charname">Phor.</span> He shall be with you.&mdash;
+(<i>To the <span class = "charname">Audience</span>.</i>)</p>
+<p>Farewell; Clap your hands!</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<h6>THE END.</h6>
+
+</div> <!-- end div play -->
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's The Comedies of Terence, by Publius Terentius Afer
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+Project Gutenberg's The Comedies of Terence, by Publius Terentius Afer
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Comedies of Terence
+
+Author: Publius Terentius Afer
+
+Translator: George Colman
+
+Release Date: September 21, 2007 [EBook #22695]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE COMEDIES OF TERENCE ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Louise Hope, David Starner and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+  [Transcriber's Note:
+
+  This translation of Terence was published by Harper & Brothers as
+  the second part of an omnibus volume also containing the 1853 Riley
+  translation (prose, with notes and commentary). The Riley portion
+  has been released as a separate e-text, #22188.
+
+  This e-text includes readings from the 1768 second edition of
+  Colman. In general, only differences in wording are included;
+  variations in spelling and punctuation were disregarded. It is not
+  known whether the Harper's text was based on the first edition of
+  Colman or some later edition. Where the Harper text was clearly in
+  error, the 1768 reading was substituted in the main text. In all
+  cases, the alternative readings are shown at the end of each Scene.
+
+  Stage directions in braces such as {_MICIO and DEMEA apart._} were
+  added by the transcriber where the original format was impractical.
+
+  Each play is a free-standing unit.]
+
+
+
+
+                      The
+                    COMEDIES
+                       of
+                    TERENCE.
+
+    Literally Translated into English Prose,
+                  with Notes.
+
+
+          By HENRY THOMAS RILEY, B.A.,
+     Late Scholar of Clare Hall, Cambridge.
+
+
+               To which is added
+        the blank verse translation of
+                 GEORGE COLMAN.
+
+
+                   New York:
+         Harper & Brothers, Publishers,
+                Franklin Square.
+                     1896.
+
+
+
+
+  Harper's
+  NEW CLASSICAL LIBRARY.
+
+  Comprising Literal Translations of
+
+  Caesar.
+  Virgil.
+  Sallust.
+  Horace.
+  Terence.
+  Tacitus. 2 Vols.
+  Livy. 2 Vols.
+  Cicero's Orations.
+  Cicero's Offices, Laelius, Cato Major, Paradoxes,
+    Scipio's Dream, Letter to Quintus.
+  Cicero On Oratory and Orators.
+  Cicero's Tusculan Disputations, The Nature of the Gods,
+    and The Commonwealth.
+  Juvenal.
+  Xenophon.
+  Homer's Iliad.
+  Homer's Odyssey.
+  Herodotus.
+  Demosthenes. 2 Vols.
+  Thucydides.
+  AEschylus.
+  Sophocles.
+  Euripides. 2 Vols.
+  Plato (Select Dialogues).
+
+12mo, Cloth, $1.00 per Volume.
+
+
+Published by HARPER & BROTHERS, New York.
+
+_The above works are for sale by all booksellers, or they will be sent
+by HARPER & BROTHERS to any address on receipt of price as quoted. If
+ordered sent by mail, 10 per cent. should be added to the price to
+cover cost of postage._
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+COMEDIES OF TERENCE: IN VERSE.
+
+  The Andrian              367
+  The Eunuch               408
+  The Self-Tormentor       451
+  The Brothers             494
+  The Step-Mother          535
+  Phormio                  568
+
+
+
+
+  THE
+  COMEDIES
+  OF
+  TERENCE.
+
+  TRANSLATED INTO
+  FAMILIAR BLANK VERSE,
+  BY GEORGE COLMAN.
+
+  Primores populi arripuit populumque tributim:
+  Scilicet uni aequus virtuti atque ejus amicis.
+  Quin ubi se a vulgo et scena in secreta remorant
+  Virtus Scipiadae et mitis sapientia Laeli,
+  Nugari cum illo et discincti ludere, donec
+  Decoqueretur olus, soliti.
+
+  HORACE.
+
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+           *       *       *       *
+
+
+THE ANDRIAN.
+
+
+PERSONS REPRESENTED.
+
+  PROLOGUE.
+  SIMO.
+  PAMPHILUS.
+  CHREMES.
+  CHARINUS.
+  CRITO.
+  SOSIA.
+  DAVUS.
+  BYRRHIA.
+  DROMO.
+  SERVANTS, ETC.
+
+  GLYCERIUM.
+  MYSIS.
+  LESBIA.
+  ARCHYLLIS.
+
+SCENE, ATHENS.
+
+
+
+
+PROLOGUE.
+
+  The Bard, when first he gave his mind to write,
+Thought it his only business, that his Plays
+Should please the people: but it now falls out,
+He finds, much otherwise, and wastes, perforce,
+His time in writing Prologues; not to tell
+The argument, but to refute the slanders
+Broach'd by the malice of an older Bard.
+  And mark what vices he is charg'd withal!
+Menander wrote the Andrian and Perinthian:
+Know one, and you know both; in argument
+Less diff'rent than in sentiment and style.
+What suited with the Andrian he confesses
+From the Perinthian he transferr'd, and us'd
+For his: and this it is these sland'rers blame,
+Proving by deep and learned disputation,
+That Fables should not be contaminated.
+Troth! all the knowledge is they nothing know:
+Who, blaming; him, blame Naevius, Plautus, Ennius,
+Whose great example is his precedent;
+Whose negligence he'd wish to emulate
+Rather than _their_ dark diligence. Henceforth,
+Let them, I give them warning, be at peace,
+And cease to rail, lest they be made to know
+Their own misdeeds. Be favorable! sit
+With equal mind, and hear our play; that hence
+Ye may conclude, what hope to entertain,
+The comedies he may hereafter write
+Shall merit approbation or contempt.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    That Fables should not be contaminated.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    That Fables should not be confounded thus.]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FIRST.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _SIMO, SOSIA, and SERVANTS with Provisions._
+
+SIMO. Carry those things in: go! (_Ex. SERVANTS._
+  Sosia, come here;
+A word with you!
+
+SOSIA. I understand: that these
+Be ta'en due care of.
+
+SIMO. Quite another thing.
+
+SOSIA. What can my art do more for you?
+
+SIMO. This business
+Needs not that art; but those good qualities,
+Which I have ever known abide in you,
+Fidelity and secrecy.
+
+SOSIA. I wait
+Your pleasure.
+
+SIMO. Since I bought you, from a boy
+How just and mild a servitude you've pass'd
+With me, you're conscious: from a purchas'd slave
+I made you free, because you serv'd me freely:
+The greatest recompense I could bestow.
+
+SOSIA. I do remember.
+
+SIMO. Nor do I repent.
+
+SOSIA. If I have ever done, or now do aught
+That's pleasing to you, Simo, I am glad,
+And thankful that you hold my service good
+And yet this troubles me: for this detail,
+Forcing your kindness on my memory,
+Seems to reproach me of ingratitude.
+Oh tell me then at once, what would you? Sir!
+
+SIMO. I will; and this I must advise you first;
+The nuptial you suppose preparing now,
+Is all unreal.
+
+SOSIA. Why pretend it then?
+
+SIMO. You shall hear all from first to last: and thus
+The conduct of my son, my own intent,
+And what part you're to act, you'll know at once.
+For my son, Sosia, now to manhood grown,
+Had freer scope of living: for before
+How might you know, or how indeed divine
+His disposition, good or ill, while youth,
+Fear, and a master, all constrain'd him?
+
+SOSIA. True.
+
+SIMO. Though most, as is the bent of youth, apply
+Their mind to some one object, horses, hounds,
+Or to the study of philosophy;
+Yet none of these, beyond the rest, did he
+Pursue; and yet, in moderation, all.
+I was o'erjoy'd.
+
+SOSIA. And not without good cause.
+For this I hold to be the Golden Rule
+Of Life, too much of one thing's good for nothing.
+
+SIMO. So did he shape his life to bear himself
+With ease and frank good-humor unto all;
+Mix'd in what company soe'er, to them
+He wholly did resign himself; and join'd
+In their pursuits, opposing nobody,
+Nor e'er assuming to himself: and thus
+With ease, and free from envy, may you gain
+Praise, and conciliate friends.
+
+SOSIA. He rul'd his life
+By prudent maxims: for, as times go now,
+Compliance raises friends, and truth breeds hate.
+
+SIMO. Meanwhile, 'tis now about three years ago,
+A certain woman from the isle of Andros,
+Came o'er to settle in this neighborhood,
+By poverty and cruel kindred driv'n:
+Handsome and young.
+
+SOSIA. Ah! I begin to fear
+Some mischief from this Andrian.
+
+SIMO. At first
+Modest and thriftily, though poor, she liv'd,
+With her own hands a homely livelihood
+Scarce earning from the distaff and the loom.
+But when a lover came, with promis'd gold,
+Another, and another, as the mind
+Falls easily from labor to delight,
+She took their offers, and set up the trade.
+They, who were then her chief gallants, by chance
+Drew thither, as oft happen with young men
+My son to join their company. "So, so!"
+Said I within myself, "he's smit! he has it!"
+And in the morning as I saw their servants
+Run to and fro, I'd often call, "here, boy!
+Prithee now, who had Chrysis yesterday?"
+The name of this same Andrian.
+
+SOSIA. I take you.
+
+SIMO. Phaedrus they said, Clinia, or Niceratus,
+For all these three then follow'd her.--"Well, well,
+But what of Pamphilus?"--"Of Pamphilus!
+He supp'd, and paid his reck'ning."--I was glad.
+Another day I made the like inquiry,
+But still found nothing touching Pamphilus.
+Thus I believ'd his virtue prov'd, and hence
+Thought him a miracle of continence:
+For he who struggles with such spirits, yet
+Holds in that commerce an unshaken mind,
+May well be trusted with the governance
+Of his own conduct. Nor was I alone
+Delighted with his life, but all the world
+With one accord said all good things, and prais'd
+My happy fortunes, who possess'd a son
+So good, so lib'rally disposed.--In short
+Chremes, seduc'd by this fine character,
+Came of his own accord, to offer me
+His only daughter with a handsome portion
+In marriage with my son. I lik'd the match;
+Betroth'd my son; and this was pitch'd upon,
+By joint agreement, for the wedding-day.
+
+SOSIA. And what prevents it's being so?
+
+SIMO. I'll tell you.
+In a few days, the treaty still on foot,
+This neighbor Chrysis dies.
+
+SOSIA. In happy hour:
+Happy for you! I was afraid of Chrysis.
+
+SIMO. My son, on this event, was often there
+With those who were the late gallants of Chrysis;
+Assisted to prepare the funeral,
+Ever condol'd, and sometimes wept with them.
+This pleas'd me then; for in myself I thought,
+"Since merely for a small acquaintance-sake
+He takes this woman's death so nearly, what
+If he himself had lov'd? What would he feel
+For me, his father?" All these things, I thought;
+Were but the tokens and the offices
+Of a humane and tender disposition.
+In short, on his account, e'en I myself
+Attend the funeral, suspecting yet
+No harm.
+
+SOSIA. And what----
+
+SIMO. You shall hear all. The Corpse
+Borne forth, we follow: when among the women
+Attending there, I chanc'd to cast my eyes,
+Upon one girl, in form----
+
+SOSIA. Not bad, perhaps----
+
+SIMO. And look; so modest, and so beauteous, Sosia!
+That nothing could exceed it. As she seem'd
+To grieve beyond the rest; and as her air
+Appear'd more liberal and ingenuous,
+I went and ask'd her women who she was.
+Sister, they said, to Chrysis: when at once
+It struck my mind; "So! so! the secret's out;
+Hence were those tears, and hence all that compassion!"
+
+SOSIA. Alas! I fear how this affair will end!
+
+SIMO. Meanwhile the funeral proceeds: we follow;
+Come to the sepulchre: the body's plac'd
+Upon the pile, lamented: whereupon
+This sister I was speaking of, all wild,
+Ran to the flames with peril of her life.
+Then! there! the frighted Pamphilus betrays
+His well-dissembled and long-hidden love:
+Runs up, and takes her round the waist, and cries,
+"Oh my Glycerium! what is it you do?
+Why, why endeavor to destroy yourself?"
+Then she, in such a manner, that you thence
+Might easily perceive their long, long, love,
+Threw herself back into his arms, and wept,
+Oh how familiarly!
+
+SOSIA. How say you!
+
+SIMO. I
+Return in anger thence, and hurt at heart,
+Yet had no cause sufficient for reproof.
+"What have I done? he'd say; or how deserv'd
+Reproach? or how offended, Father?--Her
+Who meant to cast herself into the flames,
+I stopped." A fair excuse!
+
+SOSIA. You're in the right;
+For him, who sav'd a life, if you reprove,
+What will you do to him that offers wrong?
+
+SIMO. Chremes next day came open-mouth'd to me:
+Oh monstrous! he had found that Pamphilus
+Was married to this stranger woman. I
+Deny the fact most steadily, and he
+As steadily insists. In short we part
+On such bad terms, as let me understand
+He would refuse his daughter.
+
+SOSIA. Did not you
+_Then_ take your son to task?
+
+SIMO. Not even this
+Appear'd sufficient for reproof.
+
+SOSIA. How so?
+
+SIMO. "Father, (he might have said) You have, you know,
+Prescrib'd a term to all these things yourself.
+The time is near at hand, when I must live
+According to the humor of another.
+Meanwhile, permit me now to please my own!"
+
+SOSIA. What cause remains to chide him then?
+
+SIMO. If he
+Refuses, on account of this amour,
+To take a wife, such obstinate denial
+Must be considered as his first offense.
+Wherefore I now, from this mock-nuptial,
+Endeavor to draw real cause to chide:
+And that same rascal Davus, if he's plotting,
+That he may let his counsel run to waste,
+Now, when his knaveries can do no harm:
+Who, I believe, with all his might and main
+Will strive to cross my purposes; and that
+More to plague me, than to oblige my son.
+
+SOSIA. Why so?
+
+SIMO. Why so! Bad mind, bad heart: But if
+I catch him at his tricks!--But what need words?
+--If, as I wish it may, it should appear
+That Pamphilus objects not to the match,
+Chremes remains to be prevail'd upon,
+And will, I hope, consent. 'Tis now your place
+To counterfeit these nuptials cunningly;
+To frighten Davus; and observe my son,
+What he's about, what plots they hatch together.
+
+SOSIA. Enough; I'll take due care. Let's now go in!
+
+SIMO. Go first: I'll follow you. (_Exit SOSIA._
+Beyond all doubt
+My son's averse to take a wife: I saw
+How frighten'd Davus was, but even now,
+When he was told a nuptial was preparing.
+But here he comes.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _In this Scene, all quotation marks were supplied from the
+  1768 edition._
+
+    SIMO. Carry those things in: go! (_Ex. SERVANTS._
+  _Harper text reads "Exit SERVANTS"; "Ex." (1768) can be taken as the
+  correct plural form "Exeunt"._
+
+  _Harper_
+    He wholly did resign himself; and join'd
+    In their pursuits, opposing nobody,
+  _Colman 1768_
+    He wholly did resign himself; complied
+    With all their humours, checking nobody,
+
+    ... Was married to this stranger woman. I
+    Deny the fact
+  _Line-final "I" missing in Harper text._]
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter DAVUS._
+
+DAVUS. (_to himself_). I thought 'twere wonderful
+If this affair went off so easily;
+And dreaded where my master's great good-humor
+Would end at last: who, after he perceiv'd
+The Lady was refus'd, ne'er said a word
+To any of us, nor e'er took it ill.
+
+SIMO. (_behind_). But now he will; to your cost too, I warrant you!
+
+DAVUS. This was his scheme; to lead us by the nose
+In a false dream of joy; then all agape
+With hope, even then that we were most secure,
+To have o'erwhelm'd us, nor have giv'n us time
+To cast about which way to break the match.
+Cunning old Gentleman!
+
+SIMO. What says the rogue?
+
+DAVUS. My master and I did not see him!
+
+SIMO. Davus!
+
+DAVUS. Well! what now? (_Pretending not to see him._)
+
+SIMO. Here! this way!
+
+DAVUS. What can he want? (_To himself._)
+
+SIMO. (_overhearing_). What say you?
+
+DAVUS. Upon what? Sir.
+
+SIMO. Upon what!
+The world reports that my son keeps a mistress.
+
+DAVUS. Oh, to be sure, the world cares much for that.
+
+SIMO. D'ye mind what I say? Sirrah!
+
+DAVUS. Nothing more, Sir.
+
+SIMO. But for me now to dive into these matters
+May seem perhaps like too severe a father:
+For all his youthful pranks concern not me.
+While 'twas in season, he had my free leave
+To take his swing of pleasure. But to-day
+Brings on another stage of life, and asks
+For other manners: wherefore I desire,
+Or, if you please, I do beseech you, Davus,
+To set him right again.
+
+DAVUS. What means all this?
+
+SIMO. All, who are fond of mistresses, dislike
+The thoughts of matrimony.
+
+DAVUS. So they say.
+
+SIMO. And then, if such a person entertains
+An evil counselor in those affairs,
+He tampers with the mind, and makes bad worse.
+
+DAVUS. Troth, I don't comprehend one word of this.
+
+SIMO. No?
+
+DAVUS. No. I'm Davus, and not Oedipus.
+
+SIMO. Then for the rest I have to say to you,
+You choose I should speak plainly.
+
+DAVUS. By all means.
+
+SIMO. If I discover then, that in this match
+You get to your dog's tricks to break it off,
+Or try to show how shrewd a rogue you are,
+I'll have you beat to mummy, and then thrown
+In prison, Sirrah! upon this condition,
+That when I take you out again, I swear
+To grind there in your stead. D'ye take me now?
+Or don't you understand this neither?
+
+DAVUS. Clearly.
+You have spoke out at last: the very thing!
+Quite plain and home; and nothing round about.
+
+SIMO. I could excuse your tricks in any thing,
+Rather than this.
+
+DAVUS. Good words! I beg of you.
+
+SIMO. You laugh at me: well, well!--I give you warning
+That you do nothing rashly, nor pretend
+You was not advertis'd of this--take heed! (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    To have o'erwhelm'd us, nor have giv'n us time
+  _Colman 1768_
+    To have o'erwhelm'd us, nor allow'd us time
+
+    Or, if you please, I do beseech you, Davus,
+  _anomalously printed as DAVUS in Harper text_]
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _DAVUS._
+
+Troth Davus, 'tis high time to look about you;
+No room for sloth, as far as I can sound
+The sentiments of our old gentleman
+About this marriage, which if not fought off,
+And cunningly, spoils me, or my poor master.
+I know not what to do; nor can resolve
+To help the son, or to obey the father.
+If I desert poor Pamphilus, alas!
+I tremble for his life; if I assist him,
+I dread his father's threats: a shrewd old Cuff,
+Not easily deceiv'd. For first of all,
+He knows of this amour; and watches me
+With jealous eyes, lest I devise some trick
+To break the match. If he discovers it,
+Woe to poor Davus! nay, if he's inclin'd
+To punish me, he'll seize on some pretense
+To throw me into prison, right or wrong.
+Another mischief is, this Andrian,
+Mistress or wife, 's with child by Pamphilus.
+And do but mark their confidence! 'tis sure
+The dotage of mad people, not of lovers.
+Whate'er she shall bring forth, they have resolv'd
+To educate: and have among themselves
+Devis'd the strangest story! that Glycerium
+Is an Athenian citizen. "There was
+Once on a time a certain merchant, shipwreck'd
+Upon the isle of Andros; there he died:
+And Chrysis' father took this orphan-wreck,
+Then but an infant, under his protection."
+Ridiculous! 'tis all romance to me:
+And yet the story pleases them. And see!
+Mysis comes forth. But I must to the Forum
+To look for Pamphilus, for fear his father
+Should find him first, and take him unawares.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    Another mischief is, this Andrian,
+    Mistress or wife, 's with child by Pamphilus.
+    And do but mark their confidence! 'tis sure
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Another mischief too, to make bad worse,
+    This Andrian, wife or mistress, is with child
+    By Pamphilus. And do but mark the height
+    Of their assurance! for 'tis certainly]
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Enter MYSIS._ (_Speaking to a servant within._)
+
+I hear, Archyllis; I hear what you say:
+You beg me to bring Lesbia. By my troth
+That Lesbia is a drunken wretch, hot-headed,
+Nor worthy to be trusted with a woman
+In her first labor. Well, well! she shall come.
+--Observe how earnest the old gossip is, (_Coming forward_)
+Because this Lesbia is her pot-companion.
+--Oh grant my mistress, Heav'n, a safe delivery,
+And let the midwife trespass any where
+Rather than here!--But what is it I see?
+Pamphilus all disorder'd: How I fear
+The cause! I'll wait a while, that I may know
+If this commotion means us any ill.
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _PAMPHILUS, MYSIS behind._
+
+PAM. Is this well done? or like a man?--Is this
+The action of a father?
+
+MYSIS. What's the matter?
+
+PAM. Oh all ye pow'rs of heav'n and earth, what's wrong
+If this is not so?--If he was determin'd
+That I to-day should marry, should I not
+Have had some previous notice?--ought not he
+To have inform'd me of it long ago?
+
+MYSIS. Alas! what's this I hear?
+
+PAM. And Chremes too,
+Who had refus'd to trust me with his daughter,
+Changes his mind, because I change not mine.
+Can he then be so obstinately bent
+To tear me from Glycerium? To lose her
+Is losing life.--Was ever man so cross'd,
+So curs'd as I?--Oh pow'rs of heav'n and earth!
+Can I by no means fly from this alliance
+With Chremes' family?--so oft contemn'd
+And held in scorn!--all done, concluded all!----
+Rejected, then recall'd:--and why?--unless,
+For so I must suspect, they breed some monster,
+Whom as they can obtrude on no one else,
+They bring to me.
+
+MYSIS. Alas, alas! this speech
+Has struck me almost dead with fear.
+
+PAM. And then
+My father!--what to say of him?--Oh shame!
+A thing of so much consequence to treat
+So negligently!--For but even now
+Passing me in the forum, "Pamphilus!
+To-day's your wedding-day, said he: prepare;
+Go, get you home!"--This sounded in my ears
+As if he said, "go, hang yourself!"--I stood
+Confounded. Think you I could speak one word?
+Or offer an excuse, how weak soe'er?
+No, I was dumb:--and had I been aware,
+Should any ask what I'd have done, I would,
+Rather than this, do any thing.--But now
+What to resolve upon?--So many cares
+Entangle me at once, and rend my mind,
+Pulling it diff'rent ways. My love, compassion,
+This urgent match, my rev'rence for my father,
+Who yet has ever been so gentle to me,
+And held so slack a rein upon my pleasures.
+--And I oppose him?--Racking thought!--Ah me!
+I know not what to do.
+
+MYSIS. Alas, I fear
+Where this uncertainty will end. 'Twere best
+He should confer with her; or I at least
+Speak touching her to him. For while the mind
+Hangs in suspense, a trifle turns the scale.
+
+PAM. Who's there? what, Mysis! Save you!
+
+MYSIS. Save you! Sir. (_Coming forward._)
+
+PAM. How does she?
+
+MYSIS. How! oppress'd with wretchedness.
+To-day supremely wretched, as to-day
+Was formerly appointed for your wedding.
+And then she fears lest you desert her.
+
+PAM. I!
+Desert her? Can I think on't? or deceive
+A wretched maid! who trusted to my care
+Her life and honor. Her whom I have held
+Near to my heart, and cherish'd as my wife?
+Or leave her modest and well nurtur'd mind
+Through want to be corrupted? Never, never.
+
+MYSIS. No doubt, did it depend on you alone;
+But if constrain'd----
+
+PAM. D'ye think me then so vile?
+Or so ungrateful, so inhuman, savage,
+Neither long intercourse, nor love, nor shame,
+Can make me keep my faith?
+
+MYSIS. I only know
+That she deserves you should remember her.
+
+PAM. I should remember her? Oh, Mysis, Mysis!
+The words of Chrysis touching my Glycerium
+Are written in my heart. On her death-bed
+She call'd me. I approach'd her. You retir'd.
+We were alone; and Chrysis thus began:
+"My Pamphilus, you see the youth and beauty
+Of this unhappy maid: and well you know,
+These are but feeble guardians to preserve
+Her fortune or her fame. By this right hand
+I do beseech you, by your better angel,
+By your tried faith, by her forlorn condition,
+I do conjure you, put her not away,
+Nor leave her to distress. If I have ever,
+As my own brother, lov'd you; or if she
+Has ever held you dear 'bove all the world,
+And ever shown obedience to your will----
+I do bequeath you to her as a husband,
+Friend, Guardian, Father: all our little wealth
+To you I leave, and trust it to your care."----
+She join'd our hands, and died.--I did receive her,
+And once receiv'd will keep her.
+
+MYSIS. So we trust.
+
+PAM. What make you from her?
+
+MYSIS. Going for a midwife.
+
+PAM. Haste then! and hark, be sure take special heed,
+You mention not a word about the marriage,
+Lest this too give her pain.
+
+MYSIS. I understand.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _All quotation marks in this Scene are supplied from the
+  1768 edition._
+
+  _Harper_
+    Can make me keep my faith?
+    MYSIS. I only know
+    That she deserves you should remember her.
+    PAM. I should remember her? Oh, Mysis, Mysis!
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Can move my soul, or make me keep my faith?
+    MYSIS. I only know, my mistress well deserves
+    You should remember her.
+    PAM. Remember her?
+    Oh Mysis, Mysis! even at this hour,]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE SECOND.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _CHARINUS, BYRRHIA._
+
+CHAR. How, Byrrhia? Is she to be married, say you,
+To Pamphilus to-day?
+
+BYR. 'Tis even so.
+
+CHAR. How do you know?
+
+BYR. I had it even now
+From Davus at the Forum.
+
+CHAR. Woe is me!
+Then I'm a wretch indeed: till now my mind
+Floated 'twixt hope and fear: now, hope remov'd,
+Stunn'd, and o'erwhelm'd, it sinks beneath its cares.
+
+BYR. Nay, prithee master, since the thing you wish
+Can not be had, e'en wish for that which may!
+
+CHAR. I wish for nothing but Philumena.
+
+BYR. Ah, how much wiser were it, that you strove
+To quench this passion, than, with words like these
+To fan the fire, and blow it to a flame?
+
+CHAR. How readily do men at ease prescribe
+To those who're sick at heart! distress'd like me,
+You would not talk thus.
+
+BYR. Well, well, as you please.
+
+CHAR. Ha! I see Pamphilus. I can resolve
+On any thing, e'er give up all for lost.
+
+BYR. What now?
+
+CHAR. I will entreat him, beg, beseech him,
+Tell him our course of love, and thus, perhaps,
+At least prevail upon him to defer
+His marriage some few days: meanwhile, I hope,
+Something may happen.
+
+BYR. Aye, that something's nothing.
+
+CHAR. Byrrhia, what think you? Shall I speak to him?
+
+BYR. Why not? for though you don't obtain your suit,
+He will at least imagine you're prepar'd
+To cuckold him, in case he marries her.
+
+CHAR. Away, you hang-dog, with your base suspicions!
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter PAMPHILUS._
+
+PAM. Charinus, save you!
+
+CHAR. Save you, Pamphilus!
+Imploring comfort, safety, help, and counsel,
+You see me now before you.
+
+PAM. I do lack
+Myself both help and counsel--But what mean you?
+
+CHAR. Is this your wedding-day?
+
+PAM. Aye, so they say.
+
+CHAR. Ah, Pamphilus, if so, this day
+You see the last of me.
+
+PAM. How so?
+
+CHAR. Ah me!
+I dare not speak it: prithee tell him, Byrrhia.
+
+BYR. Aye, that I will.
+
+PAM. What is't?
+
+BYR. He is in love
+With your bride, Sir.
+
+PAM. I' faith so am not I.
+Tell me, Charinus, has aught further passed
+'Twixt you and her?
+
+CHAR. Ah, no, no.
+
+PAM. Would there had!
+
+CHAR. Now by our friendship, by my love I beg
+You would not marry her.----
+
+PAM. I will endeavor.
+
+CHAR. If that's impossible, or if this match
+Be grateful to your heart----
+
+PAM. My heart!
+
+CHAR. At least
+Defer it some few days; while I depart,
+That I may not behold it.
+
+PAM. Hear, Charinus;
+It is, I think, scarce honesty in him
+To look for thanks, who means no favor. I
+Abhor this marriage, more than you desire it.
+
+CHAR. You have reviv'd me.
+
+PAM. Now if you, or he,
+Your Byrrhia here, can do or think of aught;
+Act, plot, devise, invent, strive all you can
+To make her yours; and I'll do all I can
+That she may not be mine.
+
+CHAR. Enough.
+
+PAM. I see
+Davus, and in good time: for he'll advise
+What's best to do.
+
+CHAR. But you, you sorry rogue, (_To BYRRHIA_)
+Can give me no advice, nor tell me aught,
+But what it is impertinent to know.
+Hence, Sirrah, get you gone!
+
+BYR. With all my heart. (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    PAM. I do lack
+    Myself both help and counsel--But what mean you?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PAM. Help, and counsel!
+    I can afford you neither.--But what mean you?]
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Enter DAVUS hastily._
+
+DAVUS. Good Heav'ns, what news I bring! what joyful news!
+But where shall I find Pamphilus, to drive
+His fears away, and make him full of joy?
+
+CHAR. There's something pleases him.
+
+PAM. No matter what.
+He has not heard of our ill fortune yet.
+
+DAVUS. And he, I warrant, if he has been told
+Of his intended wedding----
+
+CHAR. Do you hear?
+
+DAVUS. Poor soul, is running all about the town
+In quest of me. But whither shall I go?
+Or which way run?
+
+CHAR. Why don't you speak to him?
+
+DAVUS. I'll go.
+
+PAM. Ho! Davus! Stop, come here!
+
+DAVUS. Who calls?
+O, Pamphilus! the very man.--Heyday!
+Charinus too!--Both gentlemen, well met!
+I've news for both.
+
+PAM. I'm ruin'd, Davus.
+
+DAVUS. Hear me!
+
+PAM. Undone!
+
+DAVUS. I know your fears.
+
+CHAR. My life's at stake.
+
+DAVUS. Yours I know also.
+
+PAM. Matrimony mine.
+
+DAVUS. I know it.
+
+PAM. But to-day.
+
+DAVUS. You stun me; plague!
+I tell you I know ev'ry thing: you fear (_To CHARINUS._)
+You should _not_ marry her.--You fear you _should._ (_To PAM._)
+
+CHAR. The very thing.
+
+PAM. The same.
+
+DAVUS. And yet that _same_
+Is nothing. Mark!
+
+PAM. Nay, rid me of my fear.
+
+DAVUS. I will then. Chremes
+Won't give his daughter to you.
+
+PAM. How d'ye know?
+
+DAVUS. I'm sure of it. Your Father but just now
+Takes me aside, and tells me 'twas his will
+That you should wed to-day; with much beside,
+Which now I have not leisure to repeat.
+I, on the instant, hastening to find you,
+Run to the Forum to inform you of it:
+There, failing, climb an eminence, look round:
+No Pamphilus: I light by chance on Byrrhia;
+Inquire; he hadn't seen you. Vex'd at heart,
+_What's to be done?_ thought I. Returning thence
+A doubt arose within me. Ha! bad cheer,
+The old man melancholy, and a wedding
+Clapp'd up so suddenly! This don't agree.
+
+PAM. Well, what then?
+
+DAVUS. I betook me instantly
+To Chremes' house; but thither when I came,
+Before the door all hush. This tickled me.
+
+PAM. You're in the right. Proceed.
+
+DAVUS. I watch'd a while:
+Meantime no soul went in, no soul came out;
+No matron; in the house no ornament;
+No note of preparation. I approach'd,
+Look'd in----
+
+PAM. I understand: a potent sign!
+
+DAVUS. Does this seem like a nuptial?
+
+PAM. I think not,
+Davus.
+
+DAVUS. _Think not_, d'ye say? you don't conceive:
+The thing is evident. I met beside,
+As I departed thence, with Chremes' boy,
+Bearing some pot-herbs, and a pennyworth
+Of little fishes for the old man's dinner.
+
+CHAR. I am deliver'd, Davus, by your means,
+From all my apprehensions of to-day.
+
+DAVUS. And yet you are undone.
+
+CHAR. How so? Since Chremes
+Will not consent to give Philumena
+To Pamphilus.
+
+DAVUS. Ridiculous! As if,
+Because the daughter is denied to him,
+She must of course wed you. Look to it well;
+Court the old Gentleman through friends, apply,
+Or else----
+
+CHAR. You're right: I will about it straight,
+Although that hope has often fail'd. Farewell. (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    DAVUS. I will then. Chremes
+    Won't give his daughter to you.
+    PAM. How d'ye know?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    DAVUS. I will then. Chremes don't intend his daughter
+    Shall marry you to-day.
+    PAM. No! How d'ye know?]
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _PAMPHILUS. DAVUS._
+
+PAM. What means my father then? Why counterfeit?
+
+DAVUS. That I'll explain. If he were angry now,
+Merely that Chremes has refus'd his daughter,
+He'd think himself in fault; and justly too,
+Before the bias of your mind is known.
+But granting you refuse her for a wife,
+Then all the blame devolves on you, and then
+Comes all the storm.
+
+PAM. What course then shall I take?
+Shall I submit----
+
+DAVUS. He is your Father, Sir,
+Whom to oppose were difficult; and then
+Glycerium's a lone woman; and he'll find
+Some course, no matter what, to drive her hence.
+
+PAM. To drive her hence?
+
+DAVUS. Directly.
+
+PAM. Tell me then,
+Oh tell me, Davus, what were best to do?
+
+DAVUS. Say that you'll marry!
+
+PAM. How!
+
+DAVUS. And where's the harm?
+
+PAM. Say that I'll marry!
+
+DAVUS. Why not?
+
+PAM. Never, never.
+
+DAVUS. Do not refuse!
+
+PAM. Persuade not!
+
+DAVUS. Do but mark
+The consequence.
+
+PAM. Divorcement from Glycerium.
+And marriage with the other.
+
+DAVUS. No such thing.
+Your father, I suppose, accosts you thus.
+_I'd have you wed to-day_;--_I will_, quoth you:
+What reason has he to reproach you then?
+Thus shall you baffle all his settled schemes,
+And put him to confusion; all the while
+Secure yourself: for 'tis beyond a doubt
+That Chremes will refuse his daughter to you;
+So obstinately too, you need not pause,
+Or change these measures, lest he change his mind;
+Say to your father then, that you will wed,
+That, with the will, he may want cause to chide.
+But if, deluded by fond hopes, you cry,
+"No one will wed their daughter to a rake,
+A libertine."--Alas, you're much deceiv'd.
+For know, your father will redeem some wretch
+From rags and beggary to be your wife,
+Rather than see your ruin with Glycerium.
+But if he thinks you bear an easy mind,
+He too will grow indiff'rent, and seek out
+Another match at leisure; the mean while
+Affairs may take a lucky turn.
+
+PAM. D'ye think so?
+
+DAVUS. Beyond all doubt.
+
+PAM. See, what you lead me to.
+
+DAVUS. Nay, peace!
+
+PAM. I'll say so then. But have a care
+He knows not of the child, which I've agreed
+To educate.
+
+DAVUS. O confidence!
+
+PAM. She drew
+This promise from me, as a firm assurance
+That I would not forsake her.
+
+DAVUS. We'll take care.
+But here's your father: let him not perceive
+You're melancholy.
+
+ [Changes:
+
+  _The initial character names "PAMPHILUS. DAVUS." are supplied
+  from the 1768 edition._]
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _Enter SIMO at a distance._
+
+SIMO. I return to see
+What they're about, or what they meditate.
+
+DAVUS. Now is he sure that you'll refuse to wed.
+From some dark corner brooding o'er black thoughts
+He comes, and fancies he has fram'd a speech
+To disconcert you. See, you keep your ground.
+
+PAM. If I can, Davus.
+
+DAVUS. Trust me, Pamphilus,
+Your father will not change a single word
+In anger with you, do but say you'll wed.
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _Enter BYRRHIA behind._
+
+BYR. To-day my master bade me leave all else
+For Pamphilus, and watch how he proceeds,
+About his marriage; wherefore I have now
+Followed the old man hither: yonder too
+Stands Pamphilus himself, and with him Davus.
+To business then!
+
+SIMO. I see them both together.
+
+DAVUS. Now mind. (_Apart to PAM._)
+
+SIMO. Here, Pamphilus!
+
+DAVUS. Now turn about,
+As taken unawares. (_Apart._)
+
+PAM. Who calls? my father!
+
+DAVUS. Well said! (_Apart._)
+
+SIMO. It is my pleasure, that to-day,
+As I have told you once before, you marry.
+
+DAVUS. Now on our part, I fear what he'll reply. (_Aside._)
+
+PAM. In that, and all the rest of your commands,
+I shall be ready to obey you, Sir!
+
+BYR. How's that! (_Overhearing._)
+
+DAVUS. Struck dumb. (_Aside._)
+
+BYR. What said he? (_Listening._)
+
+SIMO. You perform
+Your duty, when you cheerfully comply
+With my desires.
+
+DAVUS. There! said I not the truth? (_Apart to PAM._)
+
+BYR. My master then, so far as I can find,
+May whistle for a wife.
+
+SIMO. Now then go in
+That when you're wanted you be found.
+
+PAM. I go. (_Exit._
+
+BYR. Is there no faith in the affairs of men?
+'Tis an old saying and a true one too;
+"Of all mankind each loves himself the best."
+I've seen the lady; know her beautiful;
+And therefore sooner pardon Pamphilus,
+If he had rather win her to his arms,
+Than yield her to th' embraces of my master.
+I will go bear these tidings, and receive
+Much evil treatment for my evil news. (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _lines taken from 1768 edition_
+    PAM. Who calls? my father!
+    DAVUS. Well said!
+    SIMO. It is my pleasure ...
+  _as printed in Harper edition_
+    PAM. Who calls? my father!
+    SIMO. It is my pleasure ...]
+
+
+SCENE VII.
+
+  _Manent SIMO and DAVUS._
+
+DAVUS. Now he supposes I've some trick in hand,
+And loiter here to practice it on him!
+
+SIMO. Well, what now, Davus?
+
+DAVUS. Nothing.
+
+SIMO. Nothing, say you?
+
+DAVUS. Nothing at all.
+
+SIMO. And yet I look'd for something.
+
+DAVUS. So, I perceive, you did:--This nettles him. (_Aside._)
+
+SIMO. Can you speak truth?
+
+DAVUS. Most easily.
+
+SIMO. Say then,
+Is not this wedding irksome to my son,
+From his adventure with the Andrian?
+
+DAVUS. No faith; or if at all, 'twill only be
+Two or three days' anxiety, you know;
+Then 'twill be over: for he sees the thing
+In its true light.
+
+SIMO. I praise him for't.
+
+DAVUS. While you
+Restrain'd him not; and while his youth allow'd
+'Tis true he lov'd; and even then by stealth,
+As wise men ought, and careful of his fame.
+Now his age calls for matrimony, now
+To matrimony he inclines his mind.
+
+SIMO. Yet, in my eyes, he seem'd a little sad.
+
+DAVUS. Not upon that account. He has he thinks
+Another reason to complain of you.
+
+SIMO. For what?
+
+DAVUS. A trifle.
+
+SIMO. Well, what is't?
+
+DAVUS. Nay, nothing.
+
+SIMO. Tell me, what is't?
+
+DAVUS. You are then, he complains,
+Somewhat too sparing of expense.
+
+SIMO. I?
+
+DAVUS. You.
+A feast of scarce ten Drachms? Does this, says he,
+Look like a wedding-supper for his son?
+What friends can I invite? especially
+At such a time as this?--and, truly, Sir,
+You have been very frugal; much too sparing.
+I can't commend you for it.
+
+SIMO. Hold your peace.
+
+DAVUS. I've ruffled him. (_Aside._)
+
+SIMO. I'll look to that. Away! (_Exit DAVUS._
+What now? What means the varlet? Precious rogue,
+For if there's any knavery on foot,
+He, I am sure, is the contriver on't. (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    'Tis true he lov'd; and even then by stealth
+  _Colman 1768_
+    'Tis true he lov'd; but even then by stealth]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE THIRD.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _SIMO, DAVUS, coming out of SIMO'S house.--MYSIS, LESBIA, going
+  toward the house of GLYCERIUM._
+
+MYSIS. Aye, marry, 'tis as you say, Lesbia:
+Women scarce ever find a constant man.
+
+SIMO. The Andrian's maid-servant! Is't not?
+
+DAVUS. Aye.
+
+MYSIS. But Pamphilus----
+
+SIMO. What says she? (_Overhearing._)
+
+MYSIS. Has been true.
+
+SIMO. How's that? (_Overhearing._)
+
+DAVUS. Would he were deaf, or she were dumb! (_Aside._)
+
+MYSIS. For the child, boy, or girl, he has resolv'd
+To educate.
+
+SIMO. O Jupiter! what's this
+I hear? If this be true, I'm lost indeed.
+
+LESBIA. A good young Gentleman!
+
+MYSIS. Oh, very good.
+But in, in, lest you make her wait.
+
+LESBIA. I follow. (_Exeunt MYSIS and LESBIA._
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Manent SIMO, DAVUS._
+
+DAVUS. Unfortunate! What remedy! (_Aside._)
+
+SIMO. How's this? (_To himself._)
+And can he be so mad? What! educate
+A harlot's child!--Ah, now I know their drift:
+Fool that I was, scarce smelt it out at last.
+
+DAVUS (_listening_). What's this he says he has smelt out?
+
+SIMO. Imprimis, (_To himself._)
+'Tis this rogue's trick upon me. All a sham:
+A counterfeit deliv'ry, and mock labor,
+Devis'd to frighten Chremes from the match.
+
+GLY. (_within_). Juno Lucina, save me! Help, I pray thee.
+
+SIMO. Heyday! Already! Oh ridiculous!
+Soon as she heard that I was at the door
+She hastens to cry out: your incidents
+Are ill-tim'd, Davus.
+
+DAVUS. Mine, Sir?
+
+SIMO. Are your players
+Unmindful of their cues, and want a prompter?
+
+DAVUS. I do not comprehend you.
+
+SIMO (_apart._) If this knave
+Had, in the real nuptial of my son,
+Come thus upon me unprepar'd, what sport,
+What scorn he'd have exposed me to? But now
+At his own peril be it. I'm secure.
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Re-enter LESBIA.--ARCHYLLIS appears at the door._
+
+LESBIA _to ARCHYLLIS (within)_. As yet, Archyllis, all the symptoms seem
+As good as might be wish'd in her condition:
+First, let her make ablution: after that,
+Drink what I've order'd her, and just so much:
+And presently I will be here again. (_Coming forward._)
+Now, by this good day, Master Pamphilus
+Has got a chopping boy: Heav'n grant it live!
+For he's a worthy Gentleman, and scorn'd
+To do a wrong to this young innocent. (_Exit._
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+SIMO. This too where's he that knows you would not swear
+Was your contrivance?
+
+DAVUS. My contrivance! what, Sir?
+
+SIMO. While in the house, forsooth, the midwife gave
+No orders for the Lady in the straw:
+But having issued forth into the street,
+Bawls out most lustily to those within.
+--Oh Davus, am I then so much your scorn?
+Seem I so proper to be play'd upon,
+With such a shallow, barefac'd, imposition?
+You might at least, in reverence, have us'd
+Some spice of art, wer't only to pretend
+You fear'd my anger, should I find you out.
+
+DAVUS. I' faith now he deceives himself, not I. (_Aside._)
+
+SIMO. Did not I give you warning? threaten too,
+In case you play'd me false? But all in vain:
+For what car'd you?--What! think you I believe
+This story of a child by Pamphilus?
+
+DAVUS. I see his error: Now I know my game. (_Aside._)
+
+SIMO. Why don't you answer?
+
+DAVUS. What! you don't believe it!
+As if you had not been informed of this? (_Archly._)
+
+SIMO. I been inform'd?
+
+DAVUS. What then you found it out? (_Archly._)
+
+SIMO. D'ye laugh at me?
+
+DAVUS. You must have been inform'd:
+Or whence this shrewd suspicion?
+
+SIMO. Whence! from you:
+Because I know you.
+
+DAVUS. Meaning, this was done
+By my advice?
+
+SIMO. Beyond all doubt; I know it:
+
+DAVUS. You do not know me, Simo.----
+
+SIMO. I not know you?
+
+DAVUS. For if I do but speak, immediately
+You think yourself impos'd on.----
+
+SIMO. Falsely, hey?
+
+DAVUS. So that I dare not ope my lips before you.
+
+SIMO. All that I know is this; that nobody
+Has been deliver'd here.
+
+DAVUS. You've found it out?
+Yet by-and-by they'll bring the bantling here,
+And lay it at our door. Remember, Sir,
+I give you warning that will be the case;
+That you may stand prepar'd, nor after say,
+'Twas done by Davus's advice, his tricks!
+I would fain cure your ill opinion of me.
+
+SIMO. But how d'ye know?
+
+DAVUS. I've heard so, and believe so.
+Besides a thousand things concur to lead
+To this conjecture. In the first place, she
+Profess'd herself with child by Pamphilus:
+That proves a falsehood. Now that she perceives
+A nuptial preparation at our house,
+A maid's dispatch'd immediately to bring
+A midwife to her, and withal a child;
+You too they will contrive shall see the child,
+Or else the wedding must proceed.
+
+SIMO. How's this?
+Having discover'd such a plot on foot,
+Why did you not directly tell my son?
+
+DAVUS. Who then has drawn him from her but myself?
+For we all know how much he doted on her:
+But now he wishes for a wife. In fine,
+Leave that affair to me; and you meanwhile
+Pursue, as you've begun, the nuptials; which
+The Gods, I hope, will prosper!
+
+SIMO. Get you in.
+Wait for me there, and see that you prepare
+What's requisite. (_Exit DAVUS._
+He has not wrought upon me
+To yield implicit credit to his tale,
+Nor do I know if all he said be true.
+But, true or false, it matters not: to me
+My Son's own promise is the main concern.
+Now to meet Chremes, and to beg his daughter
+In marriage with my son. If I succeed,
+What can I rather wish, than to behold
+Their marriage-rites to-day? For since my son
+Has given me his word, I've not a doubt,
+Should he refuse, but I may force him to it:
+And to my wishes see where Chremes comes.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _The initial direction "_Manent SIMO, DAVUS._" is supplied
+  from the 1768 edition._
+
+  _Harper_
+    SIMO. I been inform'd?
+    DAVUS. What then you found it out?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    SIMO. Inform'd?
+    DAVUS. What then you found it out yourself?
+
+  _Harper_
+    DAVUS. I've heard so, and believe so.
+    Besides a thousand things concur to lead
+    To this conjecture. In the first place, she
+    Profess'd herself with child by Pamphilus:
+    That proves a falsehood. Now that she perceives
+    A nuptial preparation at our house,
+    A maid's dispatch'd immediately to bring
+  _Colman 1768_
+    DAVUS. I've heard so, and believe so.
+    Besides a thousand different things concur
+    To lead to this conjecture. First, Glycerium
+    Profess'd herself with child by Pamphilus:
+    That proves a falsehood. Now as she perceives
+    A nuptial preparation at our house,
+    A maid's immediately dispatch'd to bring]
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _Enter CHREMES._
+
+SIMO. Chremes, good-day!
+
+CHREMES. The very man I look'd for.
+
+SIMO. And I for you.
+
+CHREMES. Well met.--Some persons came
+To tell me you inform'd them, that my daughter
+Was to be married to your son to-day:
+And therefore came I here, and fain would know
+Whether 'tis you or they have lost their wits.
+
+SIMO. A moment's hearing; you shall be inform'd,
+What I request, and what you wish to know.
+
+CHREMES. I hear: what would you? speak.
+
+SIMO. Now by the Gods;
+Now by our friendship, Chremes, which begun
+In infancy, has still increas'd with age;
+Now by your only daughter, and my son,
+Whose preservation wholly rests on you;
+Let me entreat this boon: and let the match
+Which should have been, still be.
+
+CHREMES. Why, why entreat?
+Knowing you ought not to beseech this of me.
+Think you that I am other than I was,
+When first I gave my promise? If the match
+Be good for both, e'en call them forth to wed.
+But if their union promises more harm
+Than good to both, you also, I beseech you,
+Consult our common interest, as if
+You were her father, Pamphilus my son.
+
+SIMO. E'en in that spirit, I desire it, Chremes,
+Entreat it may be done; nor would entreat,
+But that occasion urges.
+
+CHREMES. What occasion?
+
+SIMO. A diff'rence 'twixt Glycerium and my son.
+
+CHREMES. I hear. (_Ironically._)
+
+SIMO. A breach so wide as gives me hopes
+To sep'rate them forever.
+
+CHREMES. Idle tales!
+
+SIMO. Indeed 'tis thus.
+
+CHREMES. Aye marry, thus it is.
+Quarrels of lovers but renew their love.
+
+SIMO. Prevent we then, I pray, this mischief now;
+While time permits, while yet his passion's sore
+From contumelies; ere these women's wiles,
+Their wicked arts, and tears made up of fraud
+Shake his weak mind, and melt it to compassion.
+Give him a wife: by intercourse with her,
+Knit by the bonds of wedlock, soon I hope,
+He'll rise above the guilt that sinks him now.
+
+CHREMES. So you believe: for me, I can not think
+That he'll be constant, or that I can bear it.
+
+SIMO. How can you know, unless you make the trial?
+
+CHREMES. Aye, but to make that trial on a daughter
+Is hard indeed.
+
+SIMO. The mischief, should he fail,
+Is only this: divorce, which Heav'n forbid!
+But mark what benefits if he amend!
+First, to your friend you will restore a son;
+Gain to yourself a son-in-law, and match
+Your daughter to an honest husband.
+
+CHREMES. Well!
+Since you're so thoroughly convinc'd 'tis right,
+I can deny you naught that lies in me.
+
+SIMO. I see I ever lov'd you justly, Chremes.
+
+CHREMES. But then----
+
+SIMO. But what?
+
+CHREMES. Whence is't you know
+That there's a difference between them?
+
+SIMO. Davus,
+Davus, in all their secrets, told me so;
+Advis'd me too, to hasten on the match
+As fast as possible. Would he, d'ye think,
+Do that, unless he were full well assur'd
+My son desir'd it too?--Hear, what he says.
+Ho there! call Davus forth.--But here he comes.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    CHREMES. Whence is't you know
+  _Colman 1768_
+    CHREMES. From whence are you appriz'd]
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _Enter DAVUS._
+
+DAVUS. I was about to seek you.
+
+SIMO. What's the matter?
+
+DAVUS. Why is not the bride sent for? it grows late.
+
+SIMO. D'ye hear him?--Davus, I for some time past
+Was fearful of you; lest, like other slaves,
+As slaves go now, you should put tricks upon me,
+And baffle me, to favor my son's love.
+
+DAVUS. I, Sir?
+
+SIMO. I thought so: and in fear of that
+Conceal'd a secret which I'll now disclose.
+
+DAVUS. What secret, Sir?
+
+SIMO. I'll tell you: for I now
+Almost begin to think you may be trusted.
+
+DAVUS. You've found what sort of man I am at last.
+
+SIMO. No marriage was intended.
+
+DAVUS. How! none!
+
+SIMO. None.
+All counterfeit, to sound my son and you.
+
+DAVUS. How say you?
+
+SIMO. Even so.
+
+DAVUS. Alack, alack!
+I never could have thought it. Ah, what art! (_Archly._)
+
+SIMO. Hear me. No sooner had I sent you in.
+But opportunely I encountered Chremes.
+
+DAVUS. How! are we ruin'd then? (_Aside._)
+
+SIMO. I told him all.
+That you had just told me,----
+
+DAVUS. Confusion! how? (_Aside._)
+
+SIMO. Begged him to grant his daughter, and at length
+With much ado prevail'd.
+
+DAVUS. Undone! (_Aside._)
+
+SIMO. How's that? (_Overhearing._)
+
+DAVUS. Well done! I said.
+
+SIMO. My good friend Chremes then
+Is now no obstacle.
+
+CHREMES. I'll home a while,
+Order due preparations, and return. (_Exit._
+
+SIMO. Prithee, now, Davus, seeing you alone
+Have brought about this match----
+
+DAVUS. Yes, I alone.
+
+SIMO. Endeavor farther to amend my son.
+
+DAVUS. Most diligently.
+
+SIMO. It were easy now,
+While his mind's irritated.
+
+DAVUS. Be at peace.
+
+SIMO. Do then: where is he?
+
+DAVUS. Probably at home.
+
+SIMO. I'll in, and tell him, what I've now told you. (_Exit._
+
+
+SCENE VII.
+
+  _DAVUS alone._
+
+Lost and undone! To prison with me straight!
+No prayer, no plea: for I have ruin'd all!
+Deceiv'd the old man, hamper'd Pamphilus
+With marriage; marriage, brought about to-day
+By my sole means; beyond the hopes of one;
+Against the other's will.----Oh, cunning fool!
+Had I been quiet, all had yet been well.
+But see, he's coming. Would my neck were broken! (_Retires._)
+
+
+SCENE VIII.
+
+  _Enter PAMPHILUS; DAVUS behind._
+
+PAM. Where is this villain that has ruined me?
+
+DAVUS. I'm a lost man.
+
+PAM. And yet I must confess,
+That I deserv'd this, being such a dolt,
+A very idiot, to commit my fortunes
+To a vile slave. I suffer for my folly,
+But will at least take vengeance on him.
+
+DAVUS. If I can but escape this mischief now,
+I'll answer for hereafter.
+
+PAM. To my father
+What shall I say?--And can I then refuse,
+Who have but now consented? with what face?
+I know not what to do.
+
+DAVUS. I'faith, nor I;
+And yet it takes up all my thoughts. I'll tell him
+I've hit on something to delay the match.
+
+PAM. Oh! (_Seeing DAVUS._)
+
+DAVUS. I am seen.
+
+PAM. So, good Sir! What say you?
+See, how I'm hamper'd with your fine advice.
+
+DAVUS (_coming forward_). But I'll deliver you.
+
+PAM. Deliver me?
+
+DAVUS. Certainly, Sir.
+
+PAM. What, as you did just now?
+
+DAVUS. Better, I hope.
+
+PAM. And can you then believe
+That I would trust you, rascal? You amend
+My broken fortunes, or redeem them lost?
+You, who to-day, from the most happy state,
+Have thrown me upon marriage.--Did not I
+Foretell it would be thus?
+
+DAVUS. You did indeed.
+
+PAM. And what do you deserve for this?
+
+DAVUS. The gallows.
+--Yet suffer me to take a little breath,
+I'll devise something presently.
+
+PAM. Alas,
+I have not leisure for your punishment.
+The time demands attention to myself,
+Nor will be wasted in revenge on you.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    But will at least take vengeance on him.
+    DAVUS. If I can but escape this mischief now
+  _Colman 1768_
+    But will at least take vengeance upon him.
+    DAVUS. Let me but once escape the present danger]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FOURTH.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _CHARINUS alone._
+
+Is this to be believ'd, or to be told?
+Can then such inbred malice live in man,
+To joy in ill, and from another's woes
+To draw his own delight?--Ah, is't then so?
+--Yes, such there are, the meanest of mankind,
+Who, from a sneaking bashfulness, at first
+Dare not refuse; but when the time comes on
+To make their promise good, then force perforce
+Open themselves and fear: yet must deny.
+Then too, oh shameless impudence, they cry,
+"Who then are you? and what are you to me?
+Why should I render up my love to you?
+Faith, neighbor, charity begins at home."
+--Speak of their broken faith, they blush not, they,
+Now throwing off that shame they ought to wear,
+Which they before assum'd without a cause.
+--What shall I do? go to him? on my wrongs
+Expostulate, and throw reproaches on him?
+What will that profit, say you?----very much.
+I shall at least imbitter his delight,
+And gratify my anger.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+    To make their promise good, then force perforce
+  _Harper edition has "per force"_]
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _To him PAMPHILUS and DAVUS._
+
+PAM. Oh, Charinus,
+By my imprudence, unless Heav'n forefend,
+I've ruin'd both myself and you.
+
+CHAR. Imprudence!
+Paltry evasion! you have broke your faith.
+
+PAM. What now?
+
+CHAR. And do you think that words like these
+Can baffle me again?
+
+PAM. What means all this?
+
+CHAR. Soon as I told you of my passion for her,
+Then she had charms for you.----Ah, senseless fool,
+To judge your disposition by my own!
+
+PAM. You are mistaken.
+
+CHAR. Was your joy no joy,
+Without abusing a fond lover's mind,
+Fool'd on with idle hopes?--Well, take her.
+
+PAM. Take her?
+Alas, you know not what a wretch I am:
+How many cares this slave has brought upon me,
+My rascal here.
+
+CHAR. No wonder if he takes
+Example from his master.
+
+PAM. Ah, you know not
+Me, or my love, or else you would not talk thus.
+
+CHAR. Oh yes, I know it all. You had but now
+A dreadful altercation with your father:
+And therefore he's enrag'd, nor could prevail
+On you, forsooth, to wed. (_Ironically._)
+
+PAM. To show you then,
+How little you conceive of my distress,
+These nuptials were mere semblance, mock'ry all,
+Nor was a wife intended me.
+
+CHAR. I know it:
+You are constrain'd, poor man, by inclination.
+
+PAM. Nay, but have patience! you don't know----
+
+CHAR. I know
+That you're to marry her.
+
+PAM. Why rack me thus?
+Nay hear! he never ceas'd to importune
+That I would tell my father, I would wed;
+So press'd, and urg'd, that he at length prevail'd.
+
+CHAR. Who did this?
+
+PAM. Davus.
+
+CHAR. Davus!
+
+PAM. Davus all.
+
+CHAR. Wherefore?
+
+PAM. I know not: but I know the Gods
+Meant in their anger I should listen to him.
+
+CHAR. Is it so, Davus?
+
+DAVUS. Even so.
+
+CHAR. How, villain?
+The Gods confound you for it!--Tell me, wretch
+Had all his most inveterate foes desir'd
+To throw him on this marriage, what advice
+Could they have given else?
+
+DAVUS. I am deceiv'd,
+But not dishearten'd.
+
+CHAR. True. (_Ironically._)
+
+DAVUS. This way has fail'd;
+We'll try another way: unless you think
+Because the business has gone ill at first,
+We can not graft advantage on misfortune.
+
+PAM. Oh aye, I warrant you, if you look to 't,
+Out of one wedding you can work me two.
+
+DAVUS. Pamphilus, 'tis my duty, as your slave,
+To strive with might and main, by day and night
+With hazard of my life, to do you service:
+'Tis yours, if I am cross'd, to pardon me.
+My undertakings fail indeed, but then
+I spare no pains. Do better, if you can,
+And send me packing.
+
+PAM. Aye, with all my heart:
+Place me but where you found me first.
+
+DAVUS. I will.
+
+PAM. But do it instantly.
+
+DAVUS. Hist! hold a while:
+I hear the creaking of Glycerium's door.
+
+PAM. Nothing to you.
+
+DAVUS. I'm thinking.
+
+PAM. What, at last?
+
+DAVUS. Your business shall be done, and presently.
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Enter MYSIS._
+
+MYSIS _to GLYCERIUM (within)_. Be where he will, I'll find your
+    Pamphilus,
+And bring him with me. Meanwhile, you, my soul,
+Forbear to vex yourself.
+
+PAM. Mysis!
+
+MYSIS. Who's there?
+Oh Pamphilus, well met, Sir!
+
+PAM. What's the matter?
+
+MYSIS. My mistress, by the love you bear her, begs
+Your presence instantly. She longs to see you.
+
+PAM. Ah, I'm undone: This sore breaks out afresh.
+Unhappy that we are, through your curs'd means,
+To be tormented thus. (_To DAVUS._)--She has been told
+A nuptial is prepar'd and therefore sends.
+
+CHAR. From which how safe you were, had he been quiet! (_Pointing to
+    DAVUS._)
+
+DAVUS. Aye, if he raves not of himself enough,
+Do, irritate him. (_To CHARINUS._)
+
+MYSIS. Truly that's the cause;
+And therefore 'tis, poor soul, she sorrows thus.
+
+PAM. Mysis, I swear to thee by all the Gods,
+I never will desert her: though assur'd
+That I for her make all mankind my foes.
+I sought her, carried her: our hearts are one,
+And farewell they that wish us put asunder!
+Death, naught but death shall part us.
+
+MYSIS. I revive.
+
+PAM. Apollo's oracles are not more true.
+If that my father may be wrought upon,
+To think I hinder'd not the match, 'tis well:
+But if that can not be, come what come may,
+Why let him know, 'twas I--What think you now? (_To CHARINUS._)
+
+CHAR. That we are wretches both.
+
+DAVUS. My brain 's at work.
+
+CHAR. O brave!
+
+PAM. I know what you'd attempt.
+
+DAVUS. Well, well!
+I will effect it for you.
+
+PAM. Aye, but now.
+
+DAVUS. E'en now.
+
+CHAR. What is't?
+
+DAVUS. For him, Sir, not for you.
+Be not mistaken.
+
+CHAR. I am satisfied.
+
+PAM. Say, what do you propose?
+
+DAVUS. This day, I fear,
+Is scarce sufficient for the execution,
+So think not I have leisure to relate.
+Hence then! you hinder me: hence, hence I say.
+
+PAM. I'll to Glycerium. (_Exit._
+
+DAVUS. Well, and what mean you?
+Whither will you, Sir?
+
+CHAR. Shall I speak the truth?
+
+DAVUS. Oh to be sure: now for a tedious tale!
+
+CHAR. What will become of me?
+
+DAVUS. How! not content!
+Is it not then sufficient, if I give you
+The respite of a day, a little day,
+By putting off his wedding?
+
+CHAR. Aye, but Davus,----
+
+DAVUS. But what?
+
+CHAR. That I may wed----
+
+DAVUS. Ridiculous!
+
+CHAR. If you succeed, come to me.
+
+DAVUS. Wherefore come?
+I can't assist you.
+
+CHAR. Should it so fall out----
+
+DAVUS. Well, well, I'll come.
+
+CHAR. If aught, I am at home. (_Exit._
+
+  [Erratum:
+
+  _1768 edition prints "SEENE III."]
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Manent DAVUS, MYSIS._
+
+DAVUS. Mysis, wait here till I come forth.
+
+MYSIS. For what?
+
+DAVUS. It must be so.
+
+MYSIS. Make haste then.
+
+DAVUS. In a moment. (_Exit to GLYCERIUM'S._
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _MYSIS alone._
+
+Can we securely then count nothing ours?
+Oh all ye Gods! I thought this Pamphilus
+The greatest good my mistress could obtain,
+Friend, lover, husband, ev'ry way a blessing:
+And yet what woe, poor wretch, endures she not
+On his account? Alas, more ill than good.
+But here comes Davus.
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _Re-enter DAVUS with the child._
+
+MYSIS. Prithee, man, what now?
+Where are you carrying the child?
+
+DAVUS. Oh, Mysis,
+Now have I need of all your ready wit,
+And all your cunning.
+
+MYSIS. What are you about?
+
+DAVUS. Quick, take the boy, and lay him at our door.
+
+MYSIS. What, on the bare ground?
+
+DAVUS. From the altar then
+Take herbs and strew them underneath.
+
+MYSIS. And why
+Can't you do that yourself?
+
+DAVUS. Because, that if
+My master chance to put me to my oath
+That 'twas not I who laid it there, I may
+With a safe conscience swear. (_Gives her the child._)
+
+MYSIS. I understand.
+But pray how came this sudden qualm upon you?
+
+DAVUS. Nay, but be quick, that you may comprehend
+What I propose.-- (_MYSIS lays the child at SIMO'S door._)
+Oh Jupiter! (_Looking out._)
+
+MYSIS. What now?
+
+DAVUS. Here comes the father of the bride!--I change
+My first-intended purpose.
+
+MYSIS. What you mean
+I can't imagine.
+
+DAVUS. This way from the right,
+I'll counterfeit to come:--And be't your care
+To throw in aptly now and then a word,
+To help out the discourse as need requires.
+
+MYSIS. Still what you're at, I can not comprehend.
+But if I can assist, as you know best,
+Not to obstruct your purposes, I'll stay. (_DAVUS retires._)
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    DAVUS. Because, that if
+    My master chance to put me to my oath
+    That 'twas not I who laid it there, I may
+    With a safe conscience swear.
+    MYSIS. I understand.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    DAVUS. Because, supposing
+    There should be need to swear to my old master
+    I did not lay the bantling there myself
+    I may with a safe conscience.
+    MYSIS. I conceive.]
+
+
+SCENE VII.
+
+  _Enter CHREMES going toward SIMO'S._
+
+CHREMES. Having provided all things necessary.
+I now return to bid them call the bride.
+What's here? (_seeing the child_) by Hercules, a child! Ha, woman,
+Was't you that laid it here?
+
+MYSIS. Where is he gone? (_Looking after DAVUS._)
+
+CHREMES. What, won't you answer me?
+
+MYSIS. (_Looking about._) Not here: Ah me!
+The fellow's gone, and left me in the lurch.
+
+(_DAVUS coming forward and pretending not to see them._)
+
+DAVUS. Good Heavens, what confusion at the Forum!
+The people all disputing with each other!
+The market-price is so confounded high. (_Loud._)
+What to say else I know not. (_Aside._)
+
+MYSIS (_to DAVUS_). What d'ye mean, (_CHREMES retires and listens to
+    their conversation._)
+By leaving me alone?
+
+DAVUS. What farce is this?
+Ha, Mysis, whence this child? Who brought it here?
+
+MYSIS. Have you your wits, to ask me such a question?
+
+DAVUS. Whom should I ask, when no one else is here?
+
+CHREMES (_behind_). I wonder whence it comes. (_To himself._)
+
+DAVUS. Wilt answer me! (_Loud._)
+
+MYSIS. Ah! (_Confused._)
+
+DAVUS. This way to the right! (_Apart to MYSIS._)
+
+MYSIS. You're raving mad.
+Was 't not yourself!
+
+DAVUS. I charge you not a word,
+But what I ask you. (_Apart to MYSIS._)
+
+MYSIS. Do you threaten me?
+
+DAVUS. Whence comes this child? (_Loud._)
+
+MYSIS. From our house.
+
+DAVUS. Ha! ha! ha!
+No wonder that a harlot has assurance.
+
+CHREMES. This is the Andrian's servant-maid, I take it.
+
+DAVUS. Do we then seem to you such proper folks
+To play these tricks upon? (_Loud to MYSIS._)
+
+CHREMES. I came in time. (_To himself._)
+
+DAVUS. Make haste, and take your bantling from our door. (_Loud._)
+Hold! do not stir from where you are, be sure. (_Softly._)
+
+MYSIS. A plague upon you: you so terrify me!
+
+DAVUS. Wench, did I speak to you or no? (_Loud._)
+
+MYSIS. What would you?
+
+DAVUS. What would I? Say, whose child have you laid here?
+Tell me. (_Loud._)
+
+MYSIS. You don't know?
+
+DAVUS. Plague of what I know:
+Tell what I ask. (_Softly._)
+
+MYSIS. Yours.
+
+DAVUS. Ours? Whose? (_Loud._)
+
+MYSIS. Pamphilus's.
+
+DAVUS. How say you? Pamphilus's? (_Loud._)
+
+MYSIS. Why is 't not?
+
+CHREMES. I had good cause to be against this match. (_To himself._)
+
+DAVUS. O monstrous impudence! (_Bawling._)
+
+MYSIS. Why all this noise?
+
+DAVUS. Did not I see this child convey'd by stealth
+Into your house last night?
+
+MYSIS. Oh rogue!
+
+DAVUS. 'Tis true.
+I saw old Canthara stuff'd out?
+
+MYSIS. Thank Heav'n,
+Some free-women were present at her labor?
+
+DAVUS. Troth, she don't know the gentleman, for whom
+She plays this game. She thinks, should Chremes see
+The child laid here, he would not grant his daughter.
+Faith, he would grant her the more willingly.
+
+CHREMES. Not he indeed. (_To himself._)
+
+DAVUS. But now, one word for all,
+Take up the child; or I shall trundle him
+Into the middle of the street, and roll
+You, madam, in the mire.
+
+MYSIS. The fellow's drunk.
+
+DAVUS. One piece of knavery begets another:
+Now, I am told, 'tis whisper'd all about,
+That she's a citizen of Athens-- (_Loud._)
+
+CHREMES. How!
+
+DAVUS. And that by law he will be forc'd to wed her.
+
+MYSIS. Why prithee is she not a citizen?
+
+CHREMES. What a fine scrape was I within a hair
+Of being drawn into! (_To himself._)
+
+DAVUS. What voice is that? (_Turning about._)
+Oh Chremes! you are come in time. Attend!
+
+CHREMES. I have heard all already.
+
+DAVUS. You've heard all?
+
+CHREMES. Yes all, I say, from first to last.
+
+DAVUS. Indeed?
+Good lack, what knaveries! this lying jade
+Should be dragg'd hence to torture.--This is he! (_To MYSIS._)
+Think not 'twas Davus you impos'd upon.
+
+MYSIS. Ah me!--Good Sir, I spoke the truth indeed.
+
+CHREMES. I know the whole.--Is Simo in the house?
+
+DAVUS. Yes, Sir. (_Exit CHREMES._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  Hold! do not stir from where you are, be sure.
+  _Harper edition has "besure"_
+
+  _Harper_
+    DAVUS. How say you? Pamphilus's?
+    MYSIS. Why is 't not?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    DAVUS. How say you? Pamphilus's?
+    MYSIS. To be sure.]
+
+
+SCENE VIII.
+
+  _Manent DAVUS, MYSIS. DAVUS runs up to her._
+
+MYSIS. Don't offer to touch me, you villain!
+If I don't tell my mistress every word----
+
+DAVUS. Why you don't know, you fool, what good we've done.
+
+MYSIS. How should I?
+
+DAVUS. This is father to the bride:
+Nor could it otherwise have been contriv'd
+That he should know what we would have him.
+
+MYSIS. Well,
+You should have given me notice.
+
+DAVUS. Is there then
+No diff'rence, think you, whether all you say
+Falls natural from the heart, or comes
+From dull premeditation?
+
+
+SCENE IX.
+
+  _Enter CRITO._
+
+CRITO. In this street
+They say that Chrysis liv'd: who rather chose
+To heap up riches here by wanton ways,
+Than to live poor and honestly at home:
+She dead, her fortune comes by law to me.
+But I see persons to inquire of. (_Goes up._) Save you!
+
+MYSIS. Good now, who's that I see? is it not Crito,
+Chrysis's kinsman? Aye, the very same.
+
+CRITO. O Mysis, save you!
+
+MYSIS. Save you, Crito!
+
+CRITO. Chrysis
+Is then--ha?
+
+MYSIS. Aye, she has left us, poor souls!
+
+CRITO. And ye; how go ye on here?--pretty well?
+
+MYSIS. We?--as we _can_, as the old saying goes,
+When as we _would_ we can not.
+
+CRITO. And Glycerium,
+Has she found out her parents?
+
+MYSIS. Would she had!
+
+CRITO. Not yet! an ill wind blew me hither then.
+For truly, had I been appris'd of that,
+I'd ne'er have set foot here: for this Glycerium
+Was always call'd and thought to be her sister.
+What Chrysis left, she takes possession of:
+And now for me, a stranger, to commence
+A lawsuit here, how good and wise it were,
+Other examples teach me. She, I warrant,
+Has got her some gallant too, some defender:
+For she was growing up a jolly girl
+When first she journeyed hither. They will cry
+That I'm a pettifogger, fortune-hunter,
+A beggar.--And besides it were not well
+To leave her in distress.
+
+MYSIS. Good soul! troth Crito,
+You have the good old-fashion'd honesty.
+
+CRITO. Well, since I am arriv'd here, bring me to her,
+That I may see her.
+
+MYSIS. Aye, with all my heart.
+
+DAVUS. I will in with them: for I would not choose
+That our old gentleman should see me now. (_Exeunt._
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FIFTH.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _CHREMES, SIMO._
+
+CHREMES. Enough already, Simo, and enough
+I've shown my friendship for you; hazarded
+Enough of peril: urge me then no more!
+Wishing to please you, I had near destroy'd
+My daughter's peace and happiness forever.
+
+SIMO. Ah, Chremes, I must now entreat the more,
+More urge you to confirm the promis'd boon.
+
+CHREMES. Mark, how unjust you are through willfulness!
+So you obtain what you demand, you set
+No bounds to my compliance, nor consider
+What you request; for if you did consider,
+You'd cease to load me with these injuries.
+
+SIMO. What injuries?
+
+CHREMES. Is that a question now?
+Have you not driven me to plight my child
+To one possess'd with other love, averse
+To marriage; to expose her to divorce,
+And crazy nuptials; by her woe and bane
+To work a cure for your distemper'd son?
+You had prevail'd: I travel'd in the match,
+While circumstances would admit; but now
+The case is chang'd, content you:--It is said
+That she's a citizen; a child is born:
+Prithee excuse us!
+
+SIMO. Now, for Heav'n's sake.
+Believe not them, whose interest it is
+To make him vile and abject as themselves.
+These stories are all feign'd, concerted all,
+To break the match: when the occasion's past
+That urges them to this, they will desist.
+
+CHREMES. Oh, you mistake: e'en now I saw the maid
+Wrangling with Davus.
+
+SIMO. Artifice! mere trick.
+
+CHREMES. Aye, but in earnest; and when neither knew
+That I was there.
+
+SIMO. It may be so: and Davus
+Told me beforehand they'd attempt all this;
+Though I, I know not how, forgot to tell you.
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter DAVUS from GLYCERIUM'S._
+
+DAVUS (_to himself_). He may be easy now, I warrant him----
+
+CHREMES. See yonder's Davus.
+
+SIMO. Ha! whence comes the rogue?
+
+DAVUS. By my assistance, and this stranger's safe. (_To himself._)
+
+SIMO. What mischief's this? (_Listening._)
+
+DAVUS. A more commodious man,
+Arriving just in season, at a time
+So critical, I never knew. (_To himself._)
+
+SIMO. A knave!
+Who's that he praises? (_Listening._)
+
+DAVUS. All is now secure. (_To himself._)
+
+SIMO. Why don't I speak to him?
+
+DAVUS. My master here! (_Turning about._)
+What shall I do? (_To himself._)
+
+SIMO. Good Sir, your humble Servant! (_Sneering._)
+
+DAVUS. Oh, Simo! and our Chremes!--All is now
+Prepar'd within.
+
+SIMO. You've taken special care. (_Ironically._)
+
+DAVUS. E'en call them when you please.
+
+SIMO. Oh, mighty fine!
+That to be sure is all that's wanting now.
+--But tell me, Sir! what business had you there? (_Pointing to
+    GLYCERIUM'S._)
+
+DAVUS. I? (_Confused._)
+
+SIMO. You?
+
+DAVUS. I--? (_Stammering._)
+
+SIMO. You, Sir.
+
+DAVUS. I went in but now. (_Disordered._)
+
+SIMO. As if I ask'd, how long it was ago.
+
+DAVUS. With Pamphilus.
+
+SIMO. Is Pamphilus within?
+--Oh torture.--Did not you assure me, Sirrah,
+They were at variance?
+
+DAVUS. So they are.
+
+SIMO. Why then
+Is Pamphilus within?
+
+CHREMES. Oh, why d'ye think?
+He's gone to quarrel with her. (_Sneering._)
+
+DAVUS. Nay, but Chremes,
+There's more in this, and you shall hear strange news.
+There's an old countryman, I know not who,
+Is just arriv'd here; confident and shrewd;
+His look bespeaks him of some consequence.
+A grave severity is in his face,
+And credit in his words.
+
+SIMO. What story now?
+
+DAVUS. Nay, nothing, Sir, but what I heard him say.
+
+SIMO. And what says he, then?
+
+DAVUS. That he's well assur'd
+Glycerium's an Athenian citizen.
+
+SIMO. Ho, Dromo! Dromo!
+
+DAVUS. What now?
+
+SIMO. Dromo!
+
+DAVUS. Hear me.
+
+SIMO. Speak but a word more--Dromo!
+
+DAVUS. Pray, Sir, hear!
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Enter DROMO._
+
+DROMO. Your pleasure, Sir?
+
+SIMO. Here, drag him headlong in,
+And truss the rascal up immediately.
+
+DROMO. Whom?
+
+SIMO. Davus.
+
+DAVUS. Why!
+
+SIMO. Because I'll have it so.
+Take him, I say.
+
+DAVUS. For what offense?
+
+SIMO. Off with him!
+
+DAVUS. If it appear that I've said aught but truth,
+Put me to death.
+
+SIMO. I will not hear. I'll trounce you.
+
+DAVUS. But though it should prove true, Sir!
+
+SIMO. True or false.
+See that you keep him bound: and do you hear?
+Bind the slave hand and foot. Away! (_Exeunt DROMO and DAVUS._
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Manent SIMO, CHREMES._
+
+--By Heav'n,
+As I do live, I'll make you know this day
+What peril lies in trifling with a master,
+And make him know what 'tis to plague a father.
+
+CHREMES. Ah, be not in such rage.
+
+SIMO. Oh Chremes, Chremes,
+Filial unkindness!--Don't you pity me!
+To feel all this for such a thankless son!----
+Here, Pamphilus, come forth! ho, Pamphilus!
+Have you no shame? (_Calling at GLYCERIUM'S door._)
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _Enter PAMPHILUS._
+
+PAM. Who calls?--Undone! my father!
+
+SIMO. What say you? Most----
+
+CHREMES. Ah, rather speak at once
+Your purpose, Simo, and forbear reproach.
+
+SIMO. As if 'twere possible to utter aught
+Severer than he merits!--Tell me then; (_To PAM._)
+Glycerium is a citizen?
+
+PAM. They say so.
+
+SIMO. They say so!--Oh amazing impudence!----
+Does he consider what he says? does he
+Repent the deed? or does his color take
+The hue of shame?--To be so weak of soul,
+Against the custom of our citizens,
+Against the law, against his father's will,
+To wed himself to shame and this vile woman.
+
+PAM. Wretch that I am!
+
+SIMO. Ah, Pamphilus! d'ye feel
+Your wretchedness at last? Then, then, when first
+You wrought upon your mind at any rate
+To gratify your passion: from that hour
+Well might you feel your state of wretchedness.
+--But why give in to this? Why torture thus,
+Why vex my spirit? Why afflict my age
+For his distemp'rature? Why rue his sins?
+--No; let him have her, joy in her, live with her.
+
+PAM. My father!----
+
+SIMO. How, my father!--can I think
+You want this father? You that for yourself
+A home, a wife, and children have acquir'd
+Against your father's will? And witnesses
+Suborn'd, to prove that she's a citizen?
+--You've gain'd your point.
+
+PAM. My father, but one word!
+
+SIMO. What would you say?
+
+CHREMES. Nay, hear him, Simo.
+
+SIMO. Hear him?
+What must I hear then, Chremes!
+
+CHREMES. Let him speak.
+
+SIMO. Well, let him speak: I hear him.
+
+PAM. I confess,
+I love Glycerium: if it be a fault,
+That too I do confess. To you, my father,
+I yield myself: dispose me as you please!
+Command me! Say that I shall take a wife;
+Leave her; I will endure it, as I may----
+This only I beseech you, think not I
+Suborn'd this old man hither.--Suffer me
+To clear myself, and bring him here before you.
+
+SIMO. Bring him here!
+
+PAM. Let me, father!
+
+CHREMES. 'Tis but just:
+Permit him!
+
+PAM. Grant me this!
+
+SIMO. Well, be it so. (_Exit PAMPHILUS._
+I could bear all this bravely, Chremes; more,
+Much more, to know that he deceiv'd me not.
+
+CHREMES. For a great fault a little punishment
+Suffices to a father.
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _Re-enter PAMPHILUS with CRITO._
+
+CRITO. Say no more!
+Any of these inducements would prevail:
+Or your entreaty, or that it is truth,
+Or that I wish it for Glycerium's sake.
+
+CHREMES. Whom do I see? Crito, the Andrian?
+Nay certainly 'tis Crito.
+
+CRITO. Save you, Chremes!
+
+CHREMES. What has brought you to Athens?
+
+CRITO. Accident.
+But is this Simo?
+
+CHREMES. Aye.
+
+SIMO. Asks he for me?
+So, Sir, you say that this Glycerium
+Is an Athenian citizen?
+
+CRITO. Do you
+Deny it?
+
+SIMO. What then are you come prepar'd?
+
+CRITO. Prepar'd! for what?
+
+SIMO. And dare you ask for what?
+Shall you go on thus with impunity?
+Lay snares for inexperienc'd, lib'ral youth,
+With fraud, temptation, and fair promises
+Soothing their minds?----
+
+CRITO. Have you your wits?
+
+SIMO. --And then
+With marriage solder up their harlot loves?
+
+PAM. Alas, I fear the stranger will not bear this. (_Aside._)
+
+CHREMES. Knew you this person, Simo, you'd not think thus:
+He's a good man.
+
+SIMO. A good man he?--To come,
+Although at Athens never seen till now,
+So opportunely on the wedding-day!----
+Is such a fellow to be trusted, Chremes?
+
+PAM. But that I fear my father, I could make
+That matter clear to him. (_Aside._)
+
+SIMO. A Sharper!
+
+CRITO. How?
+
+CHREMES. It is his humor, Crito: do not heed him.
+
+CRITO. Let him look to 't. If he persists in saying
+Whate'er he pleases, I shall make him hear
+Something that may displease him.--Do I stir
+In these affairs, or make them my concern?
+Bear your misfortunes patiently! For me,
+If I speak true or false, shall now be known.
+--"A man of Athens once upon a time
+Was shipwreck'd on the coast of Andros: with him
+This very woman, then an infant. He
+In this distress applied, it so fell out,
+For help to Chrysis' father--"
+
+SIMO. All romance.
+
+CHREMES. Let him alone.
+
+CRITO. And will he interrupt me?
+
+CHREMES. Go on.
+
+CRITO. "Now Chrysis' father, who receiv'd him,
+Was my relation. There I've often heard
+The man himself declare, he was of Athens.
+There too he died."
+
+CHREMES. His name?
+
+CRITO. His name so quickly!-- Phania.
+
+CHREMES. Amazement!
+
+CRITO. By my troth, I think 'twas Phania;
+But this I'm sure, he said he was of Rhamnus.
+
+CHREMES. Oh Jupiter!
+
+CRITO. These circumstances, Chremes,
+Were known to many others, then in Andros.
+
+CHREMES. Heav'n grant it may be as I wish!--Inform me,
+Whose daughter, said he, was the child? his own?
+
+CRITO. No, not his own.
+
+CHREMES. Whose then?
+
+CRITO. His brother's daughter.
+
+CHREMES. Mine, mine undoubtedly!
+
+CRITO. What say you?
+
+SIMO. How!
+
+PAM. Hark, Pamphilus!
+
+SIMO. But why believe you this?
+
+CHREMES. That Phania was my brother.
+
+SIMO. True. I knew him.
+
+CHREMES. He, to avoid the war, departed hence:
+And fearing 'twere unsafe to leave the child,
+Embark'd with her in quest of me for Asia:
+Since when I've heard no news of him till now.
+
+PAM. I'm scarce myself, my mind is so enrapt
+With fear, hope, joy, and wonder of so great,
+So sudden happiness.
+
+SIMO. Indeed, my Chremes,
+I heartily rejoice she's found your daughter.
+
+PAM. I do believe you, father.
+
+CHREMES. But one doubt
+There still remains, which gives me pain.
+
+PAM. Away
+With all your doubts! you puzzle a plain cause. (_Aside._)
+
+CRITO. What is that doubt?
+
+CHREMES. The name does not agree.
+
+CRITO. She had another, when a child.
+
+CHREMES. What, Crito?
+Can you remember?
+
+CRITO. I am hunting for it.
+
+PAM. Shall then his memory oppose my bliss,
+When I can minister the cure myself?
+No, I will not permit it--Hark you, Chremes,
+The name is Pasibula.
+
+CRITO. True.
+
+CHREMES. The same.
+
+PAM. I've heard it from herself a thousand times.
+
+SIMO. Chremes, I trust you will believe, we all
+Rejoice at this.
+
+CHREMES. 'Fore Heaven I believe so.
+
+PAM. And now, my father----
+
+SIMO. Peace, son! the event
+Has reconcil'd me.
+
+PAM. O thou best of fathers!
+Does Chremes too confirm Glycerium mine?
+
+CHREMES. And with good cause if Simo hinder not.
+
+PAM. Sir! (_To SIMO._)
+
+SIMO. Be it so.
+
+CHREMES. My daughter's portion is
+Ten talents, Pamphilus.
+
+PAM. I am content.
+
+CHREMES. I'll to her instantly: and prithee, Crito,
+Along with me! for sure she knows me not. (_Exeunt CHREMES and CRITO._
+
+SIMO. Why do you not give orders instantly
+To bring her to our house?
+
+PAM. Th' advice is good.
+I'll give that charge to Davus.
+
+SIMO. It can't be.
+
+PAM. Why?
+
+SIMO. He has other business of his own,
+Of nearer import to himself.
+
+PAM. What business?
+
+SIMO. He's bound.
+
+PAM. Bound! how, Sir!
+
+SIMO. How, Sir?--neck and heels.
+
+PAM. Ah, let him be enlarg'd.
+
+SIMO. It shall be done.
+
+PAM. But instantly.
+
+SIMO. I'll in, and order it. (_Exit._
+
+PAM. Oh what a happy, happy day is this!
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    CHREMES. His name?
+    CRITO. His name so quickly!-- Phania.
+    CHREMES. Amazement!
+    CRITO. By my troth, I think 'twas Phania
+  _Colman 1768_
+    CHREMES. His name?
+    CRITO. His name so quickly!--
+    Phania.
+    CHREMES. Amazement!
+    CRITO. Troth, I think 'twas Phania]
+
+
+SCENE VII.
+
+  _Enter CHARINUS behind._
+
+CHAR. I come to see what Pamphilus is doing:
+And there he is!
+
+PAM. And is this true?--yes, yes,
+I know 'tis true, because I wish it so.
+Therefore I think the life of Gods eternal,
+For that their joys are permanent: and now,
+My soul hath her content so absolute,
+That I too am immortal, if no ill
+Step in betwixt me and this happiness.
+Oh, for a bosom-friend now to pour out
+My ecstasies before him!
+
+CHAR. What's this rapture? (_Listening._)
+
+PAM. Oh, yonder's Davus: nobody more welcome:
+For he, I know, will join in transport with me.
+
+
+SCENE VIII.
+
+  _Enter DAVUS._
+
+DAVUS (_entering_). Where's Pamphilus?
+
+PAM. Oh Davus!
+
+DAVUS. Who's there?
+
+PAM. I.
+
+DAVUS. Oh Pamphilus!
+
+PAM. You know not my good fortune.
+
+DAVUS. Do you know my ill fortune?
+
+PAM. To a tittle.
+
+DAVUS. 'Tis after the old fashion, that my ills
+Should reach your ears, before your joys reach mine.
+
+PAM. Glycerium has discover'd her relations.
+
+DAVUS. O excellent!
+
+CHAR. How's that? (_Listening._)
+
+PAM. Her father is
+Our most near friend.
+
+DAVUS. Who?
+
+PAM. Chremes.
+
+DAVUS. Charming news!
+
+PAM. And I'm to marry her immediately.
+
+CHAR. Is this man talking in his sleep, and dreams
+On what he wishes waking? (_Listening._)
+
+PAM. And moreover,
+For the child, Davus----
+
+DAVUS. Ah, Sir, say no more.
+You're th' only favorite of the Gods.
+
+CHAR. I'm made,
+If this be true. I'll speak to them. (_Comes forward._)
+
+PAM. Who's there?
+Charinus! oh, well met.
+
+CHAR. I give you joy.
+
+PAM. You've heard then----
+
+CHAR. Ev'ry word: and prithee now,
+In your good fortune, think upon your friend.
+Chremes is now your own; and will perform
+Whatever you shall ask.
+
+PAM. I shall remember.
+'Twere tedious to expect his coming forth:
+Along with me then to Glycerium!
+Davus, do you go home, and hasten them
+To fetch her hence. Away, away!
+
+DAVUS. I go. (_Exeunt PAMPHILUS and CHARINUS._
+(_DAVUS addressing the audience._)
+Wait not till they come forth: within
+She'll be betroth'd; within, if aught remains
+Undone, 'twill be concluded--Clap your hands!
+
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+           *       *       *       *
+
+
+THE EUNUCH.
+
+
+PERSONS REPRESENTED.
+
+  PROLOGUE.
+  LACHES.
+  PHAEDRIA.
+  CHAEREA.
+  ANTIPHO.
+  CHREMES.
+  THRASO.
+  GNATHO.
+  PARMENO.
+  DORUS.
+  SANGA.
+  SIMALIO, ETC.
+
+  THAIS.
+  PYTHIAS.
+  DORIAS.
+  SOPHRONA.
+  PAMPHILA.
+
+SCENE, ATHENS.
+
+
+
+
+PROLOGUE.
+
+To please the candid, give offense to none,
+This, says the Poet, ever was his care:
+Yet if there's one who thinks he's hardly censur'd,
+Let him remember he was the aggressor:
+_He_, who translating many, but not well,
+On good Greek fables fram'd poor Latin plays;
+_He_, who but lately to the public gave
+The Phantom of Menander; _He_, who made,
+In the Thesaurus, the Defendant plead
+And vouch the question'd treasure to be his,
+Before the Plaintiff his own title shows,
+Or whence it came into his father's tomb.
+
+  Henceforward, let him not deceive himself,
+Or cry, "I'm safe, he can say naught of me."
+I charge him that he err not, and forbear
+To urge me farther; for I've more, much more,
+Which now shall be o'erlook'd, but shall be known,
+If he pursue his slanders, as before.
+
+  Soon as this play, the Eunuch of Menander,
+Which we are now preparing to perform,
+Was purchas'd by the AEdiles, he obtain'd
+Leave to examine it: and afterward
+When 'twas rehears'd before the Magistrates,
+"A Thief," he cried, "no Poet gives this piece.
+Yet has he not deceived us: for we know,
+The Colax is an ancient comedy
+Of Naevius, and of Plautus; and from thence
+The Parasite and Soldier both are stolen."
+
+  If that's the Poet's crime, it is a crime
+Of ignorance, and not a studied theft.
+Judge for yourselves! the fact is even thus.
+The Colax is a fable of Menander's;
+Wherein is drawn the character of Colax
+The parasite, and the vain-glorious soldier;
+Which characters, he scruples not to own,
+He to his Eunuch from the Greek transferr'd:
+But that he knew those pieces were before
+Made Latin, that he steadfastly denies.
+
+  Yet if to other Poets 'tis not lawful
+To draw the characters our fathers drew,
+How can it then be lawful to exhibit
+Slaves running to and fro; to represent
+Good matrons, wanton harlots; or to show
+An eating parasite, vain-glorious soldier,
+Supposititious children, bubbled dotards,
+Or love, or hate, or jealousy?--In short,
+Nothing's said now but has been said before.
+Weigh then these things with candor, and forgive
+The Moderns, if what Ancients did, they do.
+
+  Attend, and list in silence to our play,
+That ye may know what 'tis the Eunuch means.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+    Or cry, "I'm safe, he can say naught of me."
+  _Quotation marks supplied from the 1768 edition._]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FIRST.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _Enter PHAEDRIA and PARMENO._
+
+PHAED. And what then shall I do? not go? not now?
+When she herself invites me? or were't best
+Fashion my mind no longer to endure
+These harlots' impudence?--Shut out! recall'd!
+Shall I return? No, not if she implore me.
+
+PAR. Oh brave! oh excellent! if you maintain it!
+But if you try, and can't go through with spirit,
+And finding you can't bear it, uninvited,
+Your peace unmade, all of your own accord,
+You come and swear you love, and can't endure it,
+Good-night! all's over! ruin'd and undone
+She'll jilt you, when she sees you in her pow'r.
+
+PHAED. You then, in time consider and advise!
+
+PAR. Master! the thing which hath not in itself
+Or measure or advice, advice can't rule.
+In love are all these ills: suspicions, quarrels,
+Wrongs, reconcilements, war, and peace again:
+Things thus uncertain, if by reason's rules
+You'd certain make, it were as wise a task
+To try with reason to run mad. And now
+What you in anger meditate--I her?
+That him?--that me? that would not--pardon me!
+I would die rather: No! she shall perceive
+How much I am a man.--Big words like these,
+She in good faith with one false tiny drop,
+Which, after grievous rubbing, from her eyes
+Can scarce perforce be squeez'd, shall overcome.
+Nay, she shall swear, 'twas you in fault, not she;
+You too shall own th' offense, and pray for pardon.
+
+PHAED. Oh monstrous! monstrous! now indeed I see
+How false she is, and what a wretch I am!
+Spite of myself I love; and knowing, feeling,
+With open eyes run on to my destruction;
+And what to do I know not.
+
+PAR. What to do?
+What should you do, Sir, but redeem yourself
+As cheaply as you can?--at easy rates
+If possible--if not--at any rate----
+And never vex yourself.
+
+PHAED. Is that your counsel?
+
+PAR. Aye, if you're wise; and do not add to love
+More troubles than it has, and those it has
+Bear bravely! But she comes, our ruin comes;
+For she, like storms of hail on fields of corn,
+Beats down our hopes, and carries all before her.
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter THAIS._
+
+THAIS. Ah me! I fear lest Phaedria take offense
+And think I meant it other than I did,
+That he was not admitted yesterday. (_To herself, not seeing them._)
+
+PHAED. I tremble, Parmeno, and freeze with horror.
+
+PAR. Be of good cheer! approach yon fire--she'll warm you.
+
+THAIS. Who's there? my Phaedria? Why did you stand here?
+Why not directly enter?
+
+PAR. Not one word
+Of having shut him out!
+
+THAIS. Why don't you speak?
+
+PHAED. Because, forsooth, these doors will always fly
+Open to me, or that because I stand
+The first in your good graces. (_Ironically._)
+
+THAIS. Nay, no more!
+
+PHAED. No more?--O Thais, Thais, would to Heaven
+Our loves were parallel, that things like these
+Might torture you, as this has tortur'd me:
+Or that your actions were indifferent to me!
+
+THAIS. Grieve not, I beg, my love, my Phaedria!
+Not that I lov'd another more, I did this.
+But I by circumstance was forc'd to do it.
+
+PAR. So then, it seems, for very love, poor soul,
+You shut the door in 's teeth.
+
+THAIS. Ah Parmeno!
+Is't thus you deal with me? Go to!--But hear
+Why I did call you hither?
+
+PHAED. Be it so.
+
+THAIS. But tell me first, can yon slave hold his peace?
+
+PAM. I? oh most faithfully: But hark ye, madam!
+On this condition do I bind my faith:
+The truths I hear, I will conceal; whate'er
+Is false, or vain, or feign'd, I'll publish it.
+I'm full of chinks, and run through here and there:
+So if you claim my secrecy, speak truth.
+
+THAIS. My mother was a Samian, liv'd at Rhodes.
+
+PAR. This sleeps in silence. (_Archly._)
+
+THAIS. There a certain merchant
+Made her a present of a little girl,
+Stol'n hence from Attica.
+
+PHAED. A citizen?
+
+THAIS. I think so, but we can not tell for certain.
+Her father's and her mother's name she told
+Herself; her country and the other marks
+Of her original, she neither knew,
+Nor, from her age, was 't possible she should.
+The merchant added further, that the pirates,
+Of whom he bought her, let him understand,
+She had been stol'n from Sunium. My mother
+Gave her an education, brought her up
+In all respects as she had been her own;
+And she in gen'ral was suppos'd my sister.
+I journeyed hither with the gentleman
+To whom alone I was connected then,
+The same who left me all I have.
+
+PAR. Both these
+Are false, and shall go forth at large.
+
+THAIS. Why so?
+
+PAR. Because nor you with one could be content,
+Nor he alone enrich'd you; for my master
+Made good and large addition.
+
+THAIS. I allow it,
+But let me hasten to the point I wish:
+Meantime the captain, who was then but young
+In his attachment to me, went to Caria.
+I, in his absence, was address'd by you;
+Since when, full well you know, how very dear
+I've held you, and have trusted you with all
+My nearest counsels.
+
+PHAED. And yet Parmeno
+Will not be silent even here.
+
+PAR. Oh, Sir,
+Is that a doubt?
+
+THAIS. Nay, prithee now, attend!
+My mother's lately dead at Rhodes: her brother,
+Too much intent on wealth, no sooner saw
+This virgin, handsome, well-accomplish'd, skill'd
+In music, than, spurr'd on by hopes of gain,
+In public market he expos'd and sold her.
+It so fell out, my soldier-spark was there,
+And bought her, all unknowing these events,
+To give to me: but soon as he return'd,
+And found how much I was attach'd to you,
+He feign'd excuses to keep back the girl;
+Pretending, were he thoroughly convinc'd
+That I would still prefer him to yourself,
+Nor fear'd that when I had receiv'd the girl,
+I would abandon him, he'd give her to me;
+But that he doubted. For my part, I think
+He is grown fond of her himself.
+
+PHAED. Is there
+Aught more between them?
+
+THAIS. No; for I've inquir'd,
+And now, my Phaedria, there are sundry causes
+Wherefore I wish to win the virgin from him.
+First, for she's call'd my sister; and moreover,
+That I to her relations may restore her.
+I'm a lone woman, have nor friend, nor kin:
+Wherefore, my Phaedria, I would raise up friends
+By some good turn:--And you, I prithee now,
+Help me to do it. Let him some few days
+Be my gallant in chief. What! no reply?
+
+PHAED. Abandon'd woman! Can I aught reply
+To deeds like these?
+
+PAR. Oh excellent! well said!
+He feels at length; Now, master, you're a man.
+
+PHAED. I saw your story's drift.--"A little girl
+Stol'n hence--My mother brought her up--was call'd
+My sister--I would fain obtain her from him,
+That I to her relations might restore her----"
+All this preamble comes at last to this.
+I am excluded, he's admitted. Why?
+But that you love him more than me, and fear
+Lest this young captive win your hero from you.
+
+THAIS. Do I fear that?
+
+PHAED. Why, prithee now, what else?
+Does he bring gifts alone? didst e'er perceive
+My bounty shut against you? Did I not,
+Because you told me you'd be glad to have
+An Ethiopian servant-maid, all else
+Omitted, seek one out? You said besides,
+You wish'd to have an Eunuch, 'cause forsooth,
+They were for dames of quality; I found one:
+For both I yesterday paid twenty _minae_,
+Yet you contemn me--I forgot not these,
+And for these I'm despis'd.
+
+THAIS. Why this, my Phaedria?
+Though I would fain obtain the girl, and though
+I think by these means it might well be done;
+Yet, rather than make you my enemy,
+I'll do as you command.
+
+PHAED. Oh, had you said
+Those words sincerely. "Rather than make you
+My enemy!"--Oh, could I think those words
+Came from your heart, what is 't I'd not endure!
+
+PAR. Gone! conquer'd with one word! alas, how soon!
+
+THAIS. Not speak sincerely? from my very soul?
+What did you ever ask, although in sport,
+But you obtain'd it of me? yet I can't
+Prevail on you to grant but two short days.
+
+PHAED. Well--for two days--so those two be not twenty.
+
+THAIS. No in good faith but two, or----
+
+PHAED. Or? no more.
+
+THAIS. It shall not be: but you will grant me those.
+
+PHAED. Your will must be a law.
+
+THAIS. Thanks, my sweet Phaedria!
+
+PHAED. I'll to the country: there consume myself
+For these two days: it must be so: we must
+Give way to Thais. See you, Parmeno,
+The slaves brought hither.
+
+PAR. Sir, I will.
+
+PHAED. My Thais,
+For these two days farewell!
+
+THAIS. Farewell, my Phaedria!
+Would you aught else with me?
+
+PHAED. Aught else, my Thais?
+Be with yon soldier present, as if absent:
+All night and day love me: still long for me:
+Dream, ponder still of me; wish, hope for me:
+Delight in me; be all in all with me;
+Give your whole heart, for mine's all yours, to me. (_Exeunt._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    The truths I hear, I will conceal; whate'er
+    Is false, or vain, or feign'd, I'll publish it.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    The truths I hear, I will conceal; but falsehood,
+    Fiction, or gross pretence, shall out at once.]
+
+  _Harper_
+    PAR. Both these
+    Are false, and shall go forth at large.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PAR. These articles
+    Are both rank falsehoods, and shall out.
+
+    PHAED. I saw your story's drift.--"A little girl ...
+    ...
+    That I to her relations might restore her----"
+  _Quotation marks supplied from 1768 edition.]
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Manet THAIS._
+
+Ah me! I fear that he believes me not,
+And judges of my heart from those of others.
+I in my conscience know, that nothing false
+I have deliver'd, nor to my true heart
+Is any dearer than this Phaedria:
+And whatsoe'er in this affair I've done,
+For the girl's sake I've done: for I'm in hopes
+I know her brother, a right noble youth.
+To-day I wait him, by his own appointment;
+Wherefore I'll in, and tarry for his coming.
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE SECOND.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _PHAEDRIA, PARMENO._
+
+PHAEDRIA. Carry the slaves according to my order.
+
+PAR. I will.
+
+PHAED. But diligently.
+
+PAR. Sir, I will.
+
+PHAED. But soon.
+
+PAR. I will, Sir!
+
+PHAED. Say, is it sufficient?
+
+PAR. Ah! what a question's that? as if it were
+So difficult! I wish, Sir Phaedria,
+You could gain aught so easy, as lose these.
+
+PHAED. I lose, what's dearer yet, my comfort with them.
+Repine not at my gifts.
+
+PAR. Not I: moreover
+I will convey them straight. But have you any
+Other commands?
+
+PHAED. Oh yes: set off our presents
+With words as handsome as you can: and drive,
+As much as possible, that rival from her!
+
+PAR. Ah, Sir, I should, of course, remember that.
+
+PHAED. I'll to the country, and stay there.
+
+PAR. O, aye! (_Ironically._)
+
+PHAED. But hark you!
+
+PAR. Sir, your pleasure?
+
+PHAED. Do you think
+I can with constancy hold out, and not
+Return before my time?
+
+PAR. Hold out? Not you.
+Either you'll straight return, or soon at night
+Your dreams will drive you out o' doors.
+
+PHAED. I'll toil;
+That, weary, I may sleep against my will.
+
+PAR. Weary you may be; but you'll never sleep.
+
+PHAED. Ah, Parmeno, you wrong me. I'll cast out
+This treacherous softness from my soul, nor thus
+Indulge my passions. Yes, I could remain,
+If need, without her even three whole days.
+
+PAR. Hui! three whole livelong days! consider, Sir.
+
+PHAED. I am resolved.
+
+_PARMENO alone._
+
+Heav'ns, what a strange disease is this! that love
+Should so change men, that one can hardly swear
+They are the same!--No mortal liv'd
+Less weak, more grave, more temperate than he.
+--But who comes yonder?--Gnatho, as I live;
+The Captain's parasite! and brings along
+The Virgin for a present: oh rare wench!
+How beautiful! I shall come off, I doubt,
+But scurvily with my decrepit Eunuch.
+This Girl surpasses ev'n Thais herself.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    Either you'll straight return, or soon at night
+    Your dreams will drive you out o' doors.
+    PHAED. I'll toil
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Either you'll straight return, or want of sleep
+    Will drive you forth at midnight.
+    PHAED. I will toil
+
+    _PARMENO alone._
+  _In 1768 edition this passage is labeled SCENE II._]
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter GNATHO leading PAMPHILA; PARMENO behind._
+
+GNAT. Good Heav'ns! how much one man excels another!
+What diff'rence 'twixt a wise man and a fool!
+What just now happen'd proves it: coming hither
+I met with an old countryman, a man
+Of my own place and order, like myself,
+No scurvy fellow, who, like me, had spent
+In mirth and jollity his whole estate.
+He was in a most wretched trim; his looks
+Lean, sick, and dirty; and his clothes all rags.
+"How now!" cried I, "what means this figure, friend?
+Alas! says he, my patrimony's gone.
+--Ah, how am I reduc'd! my old acquaintance
+And friends all shun me."--Hearing this, how cheap
+I held him in comparison with me!
+"Why, how now? wretch, said I, most idle wretch!
+Have you spent all, nor left ev'n hope behind?
+What! have you lost your sense with your estate?
+Me!--look on me--come from the same condition!
+How sleek! how neat! how clad! in what good case!
+I've ev'ry thing, though nothing; naught possess,
+Yet naught I ever want."--"Ah, Sir, but I
+Have an unhappy temper, and can't bear
+To be the butt of others, or to take
+A beating now and then."--"How then! d'ye think
+Those are the means of thriving? No, my friend!
+Such formerly indeed might drive a trade:
+But mine's a new profession; I the first
+That ever struck into this road. There are
+A kind of men, who wish to be the head
+Of ev'ry thing; but are not. These I follow;
+Not for their sport and laughter, but for gain
+To laugh with them, and wonder at their parts:
+Whate'er they say, I praise it; if again
+They contradict, I praise that too: does any
+Deny? I too deny: affirm? I too
+Affirm: and in a word, I've brought myself
+To say, unsay, swear, and forswear, at pleasure:
+And that is now the best of all professions."
+
+PAR. A special fellow this! who drives fools mad.
+
+GNAT. Deep in this conversation, we at length
+Come to the market, where the sev'ral tradesmen,
+Butchers, cooks, grocers, poult'rers, fishmongers,
+(Who once did profit and still profit by me,)
+All run with joy to me, salute, invite,
+And bid me welcome. He, poor half-starv'd wretch,
+Soon as he saw me thus caress'd, and found
+I got my bread so easily, desired
+He might have leave to learn that art of me.
+I bade him follow me, if possible:
+And, as the Schools of the Philosophers
+Have ta'en from the Philosophers their names,
+So, in like manner, let all Parasites
+Be call'd from me Gnathonics!
+
+PAR. Mark, what ease,
+And being kept at other's cost, produces!
+
+GNAT. But hold, I must convey this girl to Thais,
+And bid her forth to sup.--Ha, Parmeno!
+Our rival's slave, standing at Thais' door!
+--How melancholy he appears! All's safe:
+These poor rogues find but a cold welcome here.
+I'll play upon this knave. (_Aside._)
+
+PAR. These fellows think
+This present will make Thais all their own. (_Aside._)
+
+GNAT. To Parmeno, his lov'd and honor'd friend,
+Gnatho sends greeting. (_Ironically._)--What are you upon?
+
+PAR. My legs.
+
+GNAT. I see it.--Is there nothing here
+Displeasing to you?
+
+PAR. You.
+
+GNAT. I do believe it.
+But prithee, is there nothing else?
+
+PAR. Wherefore?
+
+GNAT. Because you're melancholy.
+
+PAR. Not at all.
+
+GNAT. Well, do not be so!--Pray, now, what d'ye think
+Of this young handmaid?
+
+PAR. Troth, she's not amiss.
+
+GNAT. I plague the rascal. (_Half aside._)
+
+PAR. How the knave's deceiv'd! (_Half aside._)
+
+GNAT. Will not this gift be very acceptable
+To Thais, think you?
+
+PAR. You'd insinuate
+That we're shut out.--There is, alas, a change
+In all things.
+
+GNAT. For these six months, Parmeno,
+For six whole months at least, I'll make you easy;
+You sha'n't run up and down, and watch till daylight;
+Come, don't I make you happy?
+
+PAR. Very happy.
+
+GNAT. 'Tis my way with my friends.
+
+PAR. You're very good.
+
+GNAT. But I detain you: you, perhaps, was going
+Somewhere else.
+
+PAR. Nowhere.
+
+GNAT. May I beg you then
+To use your int'rest here, and introduce me
+To Thais?
+
+PAR. Hence! away! these doors
+Fly open now, because you carry her.
+
+GNAT. Would you have any one call'd forth? (_Exit._
+
+PAR. Well, well!
+Pass but two days; and you, so welcome now,
+That the doors open with your little finger,
+Shall kick against them then, I warrant you,
+Till your heels ache again.
+
+_Re-enter GNATHO._
+
+GNAT. Ha! Parmeno!
+Are you here still? What! are you left a spy,
+Lest any go-between should run by stealth
+To Thais from the Captain? (_Exit._
+
+PAR. Very smart!
+No wonder such a wit delights the Captain!
+But hold! I see my master's younger son
+Coming this way. I wonder much he should
+Desert Piraeus, where he's now on guard.
+'Tis not for nothing. All in haste he comes,
+And seems to look about.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+    SCENE II.
+  _Labeled SCENE III in 1768 edition (see end of Scene I)._
+
+  _All quotation marks in this scene are supplied from the
+  1768 edition._
+
+  _Harper_
+    He was in a most wretched trim; his looks
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Seeing him in a wretched trim; his looks
+
+    But mine's a new profession; I the first
+  _Harper edition prints "But mine 's" with anomalous spacing_
+
+  _Harper_
+    (Who once did profit and still profit by me,)
+  _Colman 1768_
+    (Who, while my means were ample, profited,
+    And, tho' now wasted, profit by me still,)]
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Enter CHAEREA; PARMENO behind._
+
+CHAER. Undone! undone!
+The Girl is lost; I know not where she is,
+Nor where I am: ah, whither shall I trace?
+Where seek? of whom inquire? or which way turn?
+I'm all uncertain; but have one hope still:
+Where'er she is, she can not long lie hid.
+Oh charming face! all others from my memory
+Hence I blot out. Away with common beauties!
+
+PAR. So, here's the other! and he mutters too
+I know not what of love. Oh what a poor
+Unfortunate old man their father is!
+As for this stripling, if he once begin,
+His brother's is but jest and children's play
+To his mad fury.
+
+CHAER. Twice ten thousand curses
+Seize the old wretch, who kept me back to-day;
+And me for staying! with a fellow too
+I did not care a farthing for!--But see!
+Yonder stands Parmeno.--Good-day!
+
+PAR. How now?
+Wherefore so sad? and why this hurry, Chaerea?
+Whence come you?
+
+CHAER. I? I can not tell, i'faith,
+Whence I am come, or whither I am going,
+I've so entirely lost myself.
+
+PAR. And why?
+
+CHAER. I am in love.
+
+PAR. Oh brave!
+
+CHAER. Now, Parmeno,
+Now you may show what kind of man you are.
+You know you've often told me; "Chaerea,
+Find something out to set your heart upon,
+And mark how I will serve you!" yes, you know
+You've often said so, when I scrap'd together
+All the provisions for you at my father's.
+
+PAR. Away, you trifler!
+
+CHAER. Nay, in faith, it's true:
+Now make your promise good! and in a cause
+Worthy the utmost reachings of your soul:
+A girl! my Parmeno, not like our misses;
+Whose mothers try to keep their shoulders down,
+And bind their bosoms, that their shapes may seem
+Genteel and slim. Is a girl rather plump?
+They call her nurse, and stint her in her food:
+Thus art, in spits of nature, makes them all
+Mere bulrushes: and therefore they're belov'd.
+
+PAR. And what's this girl of yours?
+
+CHAER. A miracle.
+
+PAR. Oh, to be sure!
+
+CHAER. True, natural red and white;
+Her body firm, and full of precious stuff!
+
+PAR. Her age?
+
+CHAER. About sixteen.
+
+PAR. The very prime!
+
+CHAER. This girl, by force, by stealth, or by entreaty,
+Procure me! how I care not, so I have her.
+
+PAR. Well, whom does she belong to?
+
+CHAER. I don't know.
+
+PAR. Whence comes she?
+
+CHAER. I can't tell.
+
+PAR. Where does she live?
+
+CHAER. I can't tell neither.
+
+PAR. Where was it you saw her?
+
+CHAER. Here in the street.
+
+PAR. And how was it you lost her?
+
+CHAER. Why it was that, which I so fumed about,
+As I came hither! nor was ever man
+So jilted by good fortune as myself.
+
+PAR. What mischief now?
+
+CHAER. Confounded luck.
+
+PAR. How so?
+
+CHAER. How so! d'ye know one Archidemides,
+My father's kinsman, and about his age?
+
+PAR. Full well.
+
+CHAER. As I was in pursuit of her
+He met me.
+
+PAR. Rather inconveniently.
+
+CHAER. Oh most unhappily! for other ills
+May be told, Parmeno!--I could swear too,
+For six, nay seven months, I had not seen him,
+Till now, when least I wish'd and most would shun it.
+Is not this monstrous? Eh!
+
+PAR. Oh! very monstrous.
+
+CHAER. Soon as from far he saw me, instantly,
+Bent, trembling, drop-jaw'd, gasping, out of breath,
+He hobbled up to me.--"Holo! ho! Chaerea!"----
+I stopp'd.--"D'ye know what I want with you?"--"What?"
+--"I have a cause to-morrow."--"Well! what then?"----
+--"Fail not to tell your father, he remember
+To go up with me, as an advocate."----
+His prating took some time. "Aught else?" said I.
+"Nothing," said he:--Away flew I, and saw
+The girl that instant turn into this street.
+
+PAR. Sure he must mean the virgin, just now brought
+To Thais for a present.
+
+CHAER. Soon as I
+Came hither, she was out of sight.
+
+PAR. Had she
+Any attendants?
+
+CHAER. Yes; a parasite,
+With a maid-servant.
+
+PAR. 'Tis the very same;
+Away! have done! all's over.
+
+CHAER. What d'ye mean?
+
+PAR. The girl I mean.
+
+CHAER. D'ye know then who she is?
+Tell me!--or have you seen her?
+
+PAR. Yes, I've seen her;
+I know her; and can tell you where she is.
+
+CHAER. How! my dear Parmeno, d'ye know her?
+
+PAR. Yes.
+
+CHAER. And where she is, d'ye know?
+
+PAR. Yes,--there she is; (_Pointing._)
+Carried to Madam Thais for a present.
+
+CHAER. What monarch could bestow a gift so precious?
+
+PAR. The mighty Captain Thraso, Phaedria's rival.
+
+CHAER. Alas, poor brother!
+
+PAR. Aye, and if you knew
+The gift he sends to be compar'd with this,
+You'd cry alas, indeed!
+
+CHAER. What is his gift?
+
+PAR. An Eunuch.
+
+CHAER. What! that old and ugly slave
+That he bought yesterday?
+
+PAR. The very same.
+
+CHAER. Why, surely, he'll be trundled out o' doors
+He and his gift together--I ne'er knew
+Till now that Thais was our neighbor.
+
+PAR. She
+Has not been long so.
+
+CHAER. Ev'ry way unlucky:
+Ne'er to have seen her neither:--Prithee, tell me,
+Is she so handsome, as she's said to be?
+
+PAR. Yes, faith!
+
+CHAER. But nothing to compare to mine.
+
+PAR. Oh, quite another thing.
+
+CHAER. But Parmeno!
+Contrive that I may have her.
+
+PAR. Well, I will.
+Depend on my assistance:--have you any
+Further commands? (_As if going._)
+
+CHAER. Where are you going?
+
+PAR. Home;
+To bring according to your brother's order,
+The slaves to Thais.
+
+CHAER. Oh, that happy Eunuch!
+To be convey'd into that house!
+
+PAR. Why so?
+
+CHAER. Why so? why, he shall have that charming girl
+His fellow-servant, see her, speak with her,
+Be with her in the same house all day long,
+And sometimes eat, and sometimes sleep by her.
+
+PAR. And what if you should be so happy?
+
+CHAER. How?
+Tell me, dear Parmeno!
+
+PAR. Assume his dress.
+
+CHAER. His dress! what then?
+
+PAR. I'll carry you for him.
+
+CHAER. I hear you.
+
+PAR. I will say that you are he.
+
+CHAER. I understand you.
+
+PAR. So shall you enjoy
+Those blessings which but now you envied him:
+Eat with her, be with her, touch, toy with her,
+And sleep by her: since none of Thais' maids
+Know you, or dream of what you are. Besides,
+Your figure, and your age are such, that you
+May well pass for an Eunuch.
+
+CHAER. Oh, well said!
+I ne'er heard better counsel. Come, let's in?
+Dress me, and carry me! Away, make haste!
+
+PAR. What are you at? I did but jest.
+
+CHAER. You trifle.
+
+PAR. I'm ruin'd: fool, what have I done? Nay, whither
+D'ye push me thus? You'll throw me down. Nay, stay!
+
+CHAER. Away.
+
+PAR. Nay, prithee!
+
+CHAER. I'm resolv'd.
+
+PAR. Consider;
+You carry this too far.
+
+CHAER. No, not at all.
+Give way!
+
+PAR. And Parmeno must pay for all.
+Ah, we do wrong!
+
+CHAER. Is it then wrong for me
+To be convey'd into a house of harlots,
+And turn those very arts on them, with which
+They hamper us, and turn our youth to scorn?
+Can it be wrong for me too, in my turn,
+To deceive them, by whom we're all deceiv'd?
+No, rather let it be! 'tis just to play
+This trick upon them: which, if gray-beards know,
+They'll blame indeed, but all will think well done.
+
+PAR. Well, if you must, you must; but do not then,
+After all's over, throw the blame on me.
+
+CHAER. No, no!
+
+PAR. But do you order me?
+
+CHAER. I do:
+Order, command, force.
+
+PAR. Oh, I'll not dispute
+Your pow'r. So, follow me.
+
+CHAER. Heav'n speed the plow.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+    SCENE III.
+  _Labeled SCENE IV in 1768 edition._
+
+    You know you've often told me; "Chaerea,
+    ...
+    And mark how I will serve you!" ...
+  _Quotation marks supplied from 1768 edition_
+
+  _Harper_
+    CHAER. Oh most unhappily! for other ills
+    May be told, Parmeno!--I could swear too
+  _Colman 1768_
+    CHAER. Oh most unhappily! for lighter ills
+    May pass for inconvenient, Parmeno.
+    Nay, I could swear, with a safe conscience too
+
+    He hobbled up to me.--"Holo! ho! Chaerea!"----
+  _All quotation marks in this speech supplied from 1768 edition_
+
+  _Harper_
+    CHAER. Soon as I
+    Came hither, she was out of sight.
+    PAR. Had she
+    Any attendants?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    CHAER. When I reach'd
+    This place, the girl was vanish'd.
+    PAR. Had your lady
+    Any attendants?
+
+  _Harper_
+    He and his gift together--I ne'er knew
+    Till now that Thais was our neighbor.
+    PAR. She
+    Has not been long so.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    He and his gift together--But till now
+    I never knew this Thais was our neighbour.
+    PAR. She came but lately.
+
+    PAR. Yes, faith.
+  _Harper edition has question mark_
+
+  _Harper_
+    His fellow-servant, see her, speak with her,
+    Be with her in the same house all day long,
+    And sometimes eat, and sometimes sleep by her.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    His fellow-servant, see her all day long,
+    Converse with her, dwell under the same roof,
+    And sometimes eat, and sometimes sleep by her.
+
+  _Harper_
+    Order, command, force.
+    PAR. Oh, I'll not dispute
+    Your pow'r. So, follow me.
+    CHAER. Heav'n speed the plow.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Order, command, compel you; nor will e'er
+    Deny, or disavow my putting-on.
+    PAR. Come on then: follow me!
+    CHAER. Heav'n grant success!]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE THIRD.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _Enter THRASO and GNATHO._
+
+THRASO. And Thais then returns me many thanks?
+
+GNAT. Ten thousand.
+
+THRA. Say, is she delighted with it?
+
+GNAT. Not so much with the gift itself, as that
+By you 'twas given: but therein she triumphs.
+
+_Enter PARMENO behind._
+
+PAR. I'm come to look about me, and observe
+A proper opportunity to bring
+My presents. But behold the Captain!
+
+THRA. 'Tis
+Something, I know not how, peculiar to me,
+That all I do 's agreeable.
+
+GNAT. In truth
+I have observ'd it.
+
+THRA. E'en the King always
+Held himself much obliged, whate'er I did:
+Not so to others.
+
+GNAT. Men of wit, like you,
+The glory, got by others' care and toil,
+Often transfer unto themselves.
+
+THRA. You've hit it.
+
+GNAT. The king then held you----
+
+THRA. Certainly.
+
+GNAT. Most dear.
+
+THRA. Most near. He trusted his whole army to me,
+His counsels.----
+
+GNAT. Wonderful!
+
+THRA. And then whene'er
+Satiety of company, or hate
+Of business seiz'd him--when he would repose----
+As if----you understand me.
+
+GNAT. Perfectly.
+When he would--in a manner--clear his stomach
+Of all uneasiness.
+
+THRA. The very thing.
+On such occasions he chose none but me.
+
+GNAT. Hui! there's a king indeed! a king of taste!
+
+THRA. One of a thousand.
+
+GNAT. Of a million sure!
+--If he could live with you. (_Aside._)
+
+THRA. The courtiers all
+Began to envy me, and rail'd in secret:
+I car'd not; whence their spleen increas'd the more.
+One in particular, who had the charge
+Of th' Indian elephants; who grew at last
+So very troublesome, "I prithee, Strato,
+Are you so savage, and so fierce, (says I,)
+Because you're governor of the wild beasts?"
+
+GNAT. Oh, finely said! and shrewdly! excellent!
+Too hard upon him!--what said he to't?
+
+THRA. Nothing.
+
+GNAT. And how the devil should he?
+
+PAR. Gracious Heav'n!
+The stupid coxcomb!--and that rascal too! (_Aside._)
+
+THRA. Aye! but the story of the Rhodian, Gnatho!
+How smart I was upon him at a feast----
+Did I ne'er tell you?
+
+GNAT. Never: but pray do!
+--I've heard it o'er and o'er a thousand times. (_Aside._)
+
+THRA. We were by chance together at a feast----
+This Rhodian, that I told you of and I.----
+I, as it happen'd, had a wench: the spark
+Began to toy with her, and laugh at me.
+"Why how now, Impudence! (said I,) are you
+A _hare_ yourself, and yet would hunt for _game_?"
+
+GNAT. Ha! ha! ha!
+
+THRA. What's the matter?
+
+GNAT. Ha! ha! ha!
+Witty! smart! excellent! incomparable!
+Is it your own? I swear I thought 'twas old.
+
+THRA. Why, did you ever hear it?
+
+GNAT. Very often;
+And reckon'd admirable.
+
+THRA. 'Tis my own.
+
+GNAT. And yet 'twas pity to be so severe
+On a young fellow, and a gentleman.
+
+PAR. Ah! devil take you! (_Aside._)
+
+GNAT. What became of him?
+
+THRA. It did for him. The company were all
+Ready to die with laughing:--in a word,
+They dreaded me.
+
+GNAT. No wonder.
+
+THRA. Harkye, Gnatho!
+Thais, you know, suspects I love this girl.
+Shall I acquit myself?
+
+GNAT. On no account.
+Rather increase her jealousy.
+
+THRA. And why?
+
+GNAT. Why?--do you ask?--as if you didn't know!----
+Whene'er she mentions Phaedria, or whene'er
+She praises him, to vex you----
+
+THRA. I perceive.
+
+GNAT. To hinder that, you've only this resource.
+When she names Phaedria, name you Pamphila.
+If she should say, "come! let's have Phaedria
+To dinner with us!"--"aye, and Pamphila
+To sing to us!"--if she praise Phaedria's person,
+Praise you the girl's! so give her tit for tat,
+And gall her in her turn.
+
+THRA. Suppose she lov'd me,
+This might avail me, Gnatho!
+
+GNAT. While she loves
+The presents which you give, expecting more,
+So long she loves you; and so long you may
+Have pow'r to vex her. She will always fear
+To make you angry, lest some other reap
+The harvest, which she now enjoys alone.
+
+THRA. You're right: and yet I never thought of it.
+
+GNAT. Ridiculous! because you did not turn
+Your thoughts that way; or with how much more ease
+Would you have hit on this device yourself!
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    GNAT. Not so much with the gift itself, as that
+    By you 'twas given: but therein she triumphs.
+    _Enter PARMENO behind._
+    PAR. I'm come to look about me, and observe
+    A proper opportunity to bring
+    My presents. But behold the Captain!
+    THRA. 'Tis
+    Something, I know not how, peculiar to me,
+    That all I do 's agreeable.
+    GNAT. In truth
+    I have observ'd it.
+    THRA. E'en the King always
+  _Colman 1768_
+    GNAT. Not for the present's sake so much, as that
+    From you it was presented: But therein
+    She truly triumphs.
+    _Enter PARMENO behind._
+    PAR. I'm upon the watch,
+    To mark a proper opportunity
+    To bring my presents. But behold the Captain? [with question mark]
+    THRA. It is, indeed, something, I know not how,
+    Peculiar to me, do whate'er I please,
+    It will appear agreeable.
+    GNAT. In truth
+    I always have observ'd it.
+    THRA. Ev'n the King
+
+  _Harper_
+    THRA. One of a thousand.
+    GNAT. Of a million sure!
+    --If he could live with you.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    THRA. No general man, I promise you.
+    GNAT. Oh no!
+    He must have been particular indeed,
+    If he convers'd with You.
+
+    If she should say, "come! let's have Phaedria
+    ...
+  _quotation marks in this speech supplied from 1768 edition_]
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter THAIS and PYTHIAS._
+
+THAIS. I thought I heard the Captain's voice: and see!
+Good-day, my Thraso!
+
+THRA. Oh my Thais, welcome!
+How does my sweeting?--are you fond of me
+For sending you that music-girl?
+
+PAR. Oh brave!
+He sets out nobly!
+
+THAIS. For your worth I love you.
+
+GNAT. Come, let's to supper? why do you delay?
+
+PAR. Mark t'other! he's a chip of the old block.
+
+THAIS. I'm ready when you please.
+
+PAR. I'll up to her,
+And seem as if but now come forth.--Ha! Thais,
+Where are you gadding?
+
+THAIS. Well met, Parmeno!
+I was just going----
+
+PAR. Whither?
+
+THAIS. Don't you see
+The Captain?
+
+PAR. Yes, I see him--to my sorrow.
+The presents from my master wait your pleasure.
+
+THRA. Why do we stop thus? wherefore go not hence?
+(_Angrily._)
+
+PAR. Beseech you, Captain, let us, with your leave,
+Produce our presents, treat, and parley with her!
+
+THRA. Fine gifts, I warrant you, compar'd with mine!
+
+PAR. They'll answer for themselves--Holo, there! order
+The slaves, I told you, to come forth.--Here, this way!
+
+_Enter a BLACK GIRL._
+
+Do you stand forward!--This girl, ma'am, comes quite
+From Ethiopia.
+
+THRA. Worth about three Minae.
+
+GNAT. Scarce.
+
+PAR. Ho! where are you, Dorus?--Oh, come hither!
+
+_Enter CHAEREA in the Eunuch's habit._
+
+An Eunuch, Madam! of a lib'ral air,
+And in his prime!
+
+THAIS. Now as I live, he's handsome!
+
+PAR. What say you, Gnatho? Is he despicable?
+Or, Captain, what say you?--Dumb?--Praise sufficient;
+Try him in letters, exercises, music:
+In all the arts, a gentleman should know,
+I'll warrant him accomplish'd.
+
+THRA. Troth, that Eunuch
+Is well enough.
+
+PAR. And he, who sends these presents,
+Requires you not to live for him alone,
+And for his sake to shut out all mankind:
+Nor does he tell his battles, show his wounds,
+Or shackle your free will, as some folks do.
+
+(_Looking at THRASO._)
+
+But when 'twill not be troublesome, or when
+You've leisure, in due season, he's content
+If then he is admitted.
+
+THRA. This poor fellow
+Seems to belong to a poor wretched master.
+
+GNAT. Beyond all doubt; for who that could obtain
+Another, would endure a slave like this?
+
+PAR. Peace, wretch, that art below the meanest slave!
+You that could bring your mind so very low,
+As to cry aye and no at yon fool's bidding,
+I'm sure, might get your bread out o'the fire.
+
+THRA. Why don't we go? (_Impatiently._)
+
+THAIS. Let me but carry in
+These first, and give some orders in the house,
+And I'll attend you. (_Exit with CHAEREA, and the Ethiopian._
+
+THRA. I'll depart from hence.
+Gnatho, wait you for her!
+
+PAR. It ill beseems
+The dignity of a renown'd commander,
+T' escort his mistress in the street.
+
+THRA. Away,
+Slave! you're beneath my notice--like your master.
+(_Exit PARMENO._
+
+GNAT. Ha! ha! ha! ha!
+
+THRA. What moves your laughter?
+
+GNAT. That
+You said just now: and then the Rhodian came
+Across my mind.----But Thais comes.
+
+THRA. Go run,
+And see that ev'ry thing's prepar'd at home!
+
+GNAT. It shall be done. (_Exit._
+
+THAIS (_entering with PYTHIAS_). Take care now, Pythias,
+Great care, if Chremes come, to press him stay;
+Or, if that's inconvenient, to return:
+If that's impossible, then bring him to me!
+
+PYTH. I'll do so.
+
+THAIS. Hold! what else had I to say?
+Take care, be sure, of yonder virgin! see,
+You keep at home.
+
+THRA. Let's go.
+
+THAIS. Girls, follow me!
+
+(_Exit, attended by Servants and THRASO._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    PAR. They'll answer for themselves--Holo, there! order
+    The slaves, I told you, to come forth.--Here, this way!
+    _Enter a BLACK GIRL._
+    Do you stand forward!--This girl, ma'am, comes quite
+    From Ethiopia.
+    THRA. Worth about three Minae.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PAR. They'll answer for themselves--Ho, there! within!
+    Order the slaves, I told you, to come forth.
+    _Enter a BLACK GIRL._
+    This way! do you stand forward!--This girl, ma'am,
+    Comes quite from AEthiopia.
+    THRA. Worth three Minae.
+
+  _Harper_
+    THAIS. Let me but carry in
+  _Colman 1768_
+    THAIS. Let me but introduce
+
+  _Harper_
+    THRA. What moves your laughter?
+    GNAT. That
+    You said just now: and then the Rhodian came
+  _Colman 1768_
+    THRA. What moves your laughter, Gnatho?
+    GNAT. Your speech but now: and then the Rhodian came]
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _CHREMES alone._
+
+In truth the more and more I think, the more
+I am convinc'd that Thais means me ill:
+So plain I see her arts to draw me in.
+Ev'n when she first invited me, (and when
+Had any ask'd, _What business have you there?_
+The question would have stagger'd me,) she fram'd
+Sev'ral excuses to detain me there.
+Said she had made a sacrifice, and had
+Affairs of consequence to settle with me.
+--Oho! thought I immediately, I smell
+A trick upon me!--down she sat, behav'd
+Familiarly, and tried to beat about
+For conversation. Being at a loss,
+She ask'd, how long my parents had been dead?
+--I told her, long time since:--on which she ask'd,
+Whether I had a country-house at Sunium?
+--And how far from the sea?--I half believe
+She likes my villa, and would wheedle me
+To give it her.--Her final questions were,
+If I ne'er lost a little sister thence?
+--Who was miss'd with her?--what she had when lost?
+If any one could know her? Why should Thais
+Demand all this, unless,--a saucy baggage!----
+She means to play the counterfeit, and feign
+Herself that sister?--but if she's alive,
+She is about sixteen, not more; Thais
+Is elder than myself.--She sent beside
+To beg I'd come again.--Or, let her say
+What she would have; or, not be troublesome!
+I'll not return a third time.--Ho! who's there?
+Here am I! Chremes!
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    If any one could know her? Why should Thais
+    Demand all this, unless,--a saucy baggage!----
+    She means to play the counterfeit, and feign
+    Herself that sister?--but if she's alive,
+    She is about sixteen, not more; Thais
+    Is elder than myself.--She sent beside
+    To beg I'd come again.--Or, let her say
+    What she would have; or, not be troublesome!
+  _Colman 1768_
+    --If there was any body capable
+    Of recollecting her?--Why all these questions?
+    Unless perhaps she means,--a saucy baggage!--
+    To play the counterfeit, and feign herself
+    That sister, who was lost so long ago?
+    But she, if living, is about sixteen;
+    Not more: and Thais older than myself.
+    She sent beside to press me earnestly
+    To visit her again.--Or, let her say
+    What she would have; or, trouble me no more!]
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Enter PYTHIAS._
+
+PYTH. Oh, sweet, charming, Sir!
+
+CHRE. A coaxing hussy!
+
+PYTH. Thais begs and prays
+You'd come again to-morrow.
+
+CHRE. I am going
+Into the country.
+
+PYTH. Nay, now prithee come?
+
+CHRE. I can't, I tell you.
+
+PYTH. Walk in, then, and stay
+Till she returns herself.
+
+CHRE. Not I.
+
+PYTH. And why,
+Dear Chremes?
+
+CHRE. Go, and hang yourself!
+
+PYTH. Well, Sir,
+Since you're so positive, shall I entreat you
+To go to her?
+
+CHRE. I will.
+
+PYTH. Here, Dorias! (_A maid-servant enters._)
+Conduct this gentleman to Captain Thraso's.
+
+(_PYTHIAS re-enters.--CHREMES goes out another way with DORIAS._)
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    CHRE. Go, and hang yourself!
+  _Colman 1768_
+    CHRE. Off, you saucy slut!]
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _ANTIPHO alone._
+
+But yesterday a knot of us young fellows
+Assembled at Piraeus, and agreed
+To club together for a feast to-day.
+Chaerea had charge of all; the rings were given,
+And time and place appointed.--The time's past;
+No entertainment's at the place; and Chaerea
+Is nowhere to be found.--I can't tell what
+To think on't.--Yet the rest of my companions
+Have all commission'd me to seek him out.
+I'll see if he's at home;--but who comes here
+From Thais?--Is it he, or no?--'Tis he.----
+--What manner of man's here?--what habit's that?
+--What mischief has the rogue been at? I'm all
+Astonishment, and can not guess.--But I'll
+Withdraw a while, and try to find it out. (_Retires._)
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    Is nowhere to be found.--I can't tell what
+    To think on't.--Yet the rest of my companions
+    Have all commission'd me to seek him out.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Is no where to be met with.--For my part,
+    I'm quite to seek in this; and what to say,
+    Or guess, I know not.--Yet the company
+    Have all commission'd me to find him out.
+
+  _Harper_
+    --What mischief has the rogue been at? I'm all
+    Astonishment, and can not guess.--But I'll
+    Withdraw a while, and try to find it out.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    --What mischief is the meaning of all this?
+    I'm all astonishment, and can not guess.
+    But I'll withdraw a while, and try to learn.]
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _Enter CHAEREA, in the Eunuch's habit._
+
+CHAER. (_looking about_). Is any body here?--No, nobody.
+Does any follow me?--No, nobody.
+May I then let my ecstasy break forth!
+O Jupiter! 'tis now the very time,
+When I could suffer to be put to death,
+Lest not another transport like to this,
+Remain in life to come.--But is there not
+Some curious impertinent to come
+Across me now, and murder me with questions?
+--To ask, why I'm so flutter'd? why so joyful?
+Whither I'm going? whence I came? and where
+I got this habit? what I'm looking after?
+Whether I'm in my senses? or stark mad?
+
+ANTI. I'll go myself, and do that kindness to him.
+Chaerea, (_advancing_,) what's all this flutter? what's this dress?
+What is't transports you? what d'ye want? art mad?
+Why do ye start at me? and why not speak?
+
+CHAER. O happy, happy day!--Save you, dear friend!
+There's not a man on earth I'd rather see
+This moment than yourself.
+
+ANTI. Come, tell me all!
+
+CHAER. Tell you! I will beseech you give me hearing.
+D'ye know my brother's mistress here?
+
+ANTI. Yes: Thais,
+Or I'm deceiv'd.
+
+CHAER. The same.
+
+ANTI. I do remember.
+
+CHAER. To-day a girl was sent a present to her.
+Why need I speak or praise her beauty now
+To you, that know me, and my taste so well?
+She set me all on fire.
+
+ANTI. Is she so handsome?
+
+CHAER. Most exquisite: Oh, had you but once seen her,
+You would pronounce her, I am confident,
+The first of womankind.--But to be brief,
+I fell in love with her.--By great good luck
+There was at home an Eunuch, which my brother
+Had bought for Thais, but not yet sent thither.
+--I had a gentle hint from Parmeno,
+Which I seiz'd greedily.
+
+ANTI. And what was that?
+
+CHAER. Peace, and I'll tell you.--To change dresses with him,
+And order Parmeno to carry me
+Instead of him.
+
+ANTI. How? for an Eunuch, you?
+
+CHAER. E'en so.
+
+ANTI. What good could you derive from that?
+
+CHAER. What good!--why, see, and hear, and be with her
+I languish'd for, my Antipho!--was that
+An idle reason, or a trivial good?
+--To Thais I'm deliver'd; she receives me,
+And carries me with joy into her house;
+Commits the charming girl----
+
+ANTI. To whom?----to you?
+
+CHAER. To me.
+
+ANTI. In special hands, I must confess.
+
+CHAER. --Enjoins me to permit no man come near her;
+Nor to depart, myself, one instant from her;
+But in an inner chamber to remain
+Alone with her alone. I nod, and look
+Bashfully on the ground.
+
+ANTI. Poor simple soul!
+
+CHAER. I am bid forth, says she; and carries off
+All her maid-servants with her, save some few
+Raw novices, who straight prepar'd the bath.
+I bade them haste; and while it was preparing,
+In a retiring-room the Virgin sat;
+Viewing a picture, where the tale was drawn
+Of Jove's descending in a golden show'r
+To Danae's bosom.----I beheld it too,
+And because he of old the like game play'd,
+I felt my mind exult the more within me,
+That Jove should change himself into a man,
+And steal in secret through a stranger-roof,
+With a mere woman to intrigue.--Great Jove,
+Who shakes the highest heav'ns with his thunder!
+And I, poor mortal man, not do the same!----
+I did it, and with all my heart I did it.
+--While thoughts, like these, possess'd my soul, they call'd
+The girl to bathe. She goes, bathes, then returns:
+Which done, the servants put her into bed.
+I stand to wait their orders. Up comes one,
+"Here, harkye, Dorus! take this fan and mark
+You cool her gently thus, while we go bathe.
+When we have bath'd, you, if you please, bathe too,"
+I, with a sober air, receive the fan.
+
+ANTI. Then would I fain have seen your simple face!
+I should have been delighted to behold
+How like an ass you look'd, and held the fan.
+
+CHAER. Scarce had she spoke, when all rush'd out o' doors;
+Away they go to bathe; grow full of noise,
+As servants use, when masters are abroad.
+Meanwhile sleep seiz'd the virgin: I, by stealth,
+Peep'd through the fan-sticks thus; then looking round,
+And seeing all was safe, made fast the door.
+
+ANTI. What then?
+
+CHAER. What then, fool!
+
+ANTI. I confess.
+
+CHAER. D'ye think,
+Bless'd with an opportunity like this,
+So short, so wish'd for, yet so unexpected,
+I'd let it slip? No. Then I'd been, indeed,
+The thing I counterfeited.
+
+ANTI. Very true.
+But what's become of our club-supper?
+
+CHAER. Ready.
+
+ANTI. An honest fellow! where? at your own house?
+
+CHAER. At Freeman Discus's.
+
+ANTI. A great way off.
+
+CHAER. Then we must make more haste.
+
+ANTI. But change your dress.
+
+CHAER. Where can I change it? I'm distress'd. From home
+I must play truant, lest I meet my brother.
+My father too, perhaps, is come to town.
+
+ANTI. Come then to my house! that's the nearest place
+Where you may shift.
+
+CHAER. With all my heart! let's go!
+And at the same time, I'll consult with you
+How to enjoy this dear girl.
+
+ANTI. Be it so.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    Whither I'm going? whence I came? and where
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Whither I'm going? from whence I came? and where
+
+  _Harper_
+    ANTI. Yes: Thais,
+    Or I'm deceiv'd.
+    CHAER. The same.
+    ANTI. I do remember.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    ANTI. I do:
+    Thais, I think.
+    CHAER. The same.
+    ANTI. I recollect.
+
+  _Harper_
+    The first of womankind.--But to be brief
+  _Colman 1768_
+    The first of womankind.--But in a word
+
+    To Danae's bosom.
+  _Harper edition misprints "Danae's"_
+
+    "Here, harkye, Dorus! take this fan ...
+  _quotation marks in this speech supplied from 1768 edition_
+
+  _Harper_
+    ANTI. Come then to my house! that's the nearest place
+  _Colman 1768_
+    ANTI. Come to my house then! that's the nearest place]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FOURTH.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _Enter DORIAS, with a Casket._
+
+DORIAS.
+
+Now, as I hope for mercy, I'm afraid,
+From what I've seen, lest yonder swaggerer
+Make some disturbance, or do violence
+To Thais. For as soon as Chremes came,
+(The youth that's brother to the virgin,) she
+Beseech'd of Thraso he might be admitted.
+This piqu'd him; yet he durst not well refuse.
+She, fearing Chremes should not be detain'd,
+Till she had time and opportunity
+To tell him all she wish'd about his sister,
+Urg'd Thraso more and more to ask him in.
+The Captain coldly asks him; down he sat;
+And Thais enter'd into chat with him.
+The Captain, fancying a rival brought
+Before his face, resolv'd to vex her too:
+"Here, boy," said he, "let Pamphila be call'd
+To entertain us!"--"Pamphila!" cries Thais;
+"She at a banquet?--No it must not be."----
+Thraso insisting on't, a broil ensued:
+On which my mistress slyly slipping off
+Her jewels, gave them me to bear away;
+Which is, I know, a certain sign, she will,
+As soon as possible, sneak off herself. _Exit._)
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _all quotation marks isupplied from 1768 edition_
+
+  _Harper_
+    (The youth that's brother to the virgin,) she
+    Beseech'd of Thraso he might be admitted.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    (Chremes, the youth that's brother to the virgin,)
+    She beg'd of Thraso, he might be admitted.]
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter PHAEDRIA._
+
+PHAED. Going into the country, I began
+(As happens when the mind is ill at ease)
+To ponder with myself upon the road,
+Tossing from thought to thought, and viewing all
+In the worst light. While thus I ruminate,
+I pass unconsciously my country-house,
+And had got far beyond, ere I perceiv'd it.
+I turn'd about, but with a heavy heart;
+And soon as to the very spot I came
+Where the roads part, I stop. Then paus'd a while:
+"Alas! thought I, and must I here remain]
+Two days? alone: without her?--Well! what then?
+That's nothing.--What, is't nothing?--If I've not
+The privilege to touch her, shall I not
+Behold her neither?--If _one_ may not be,
+At least the _other_ shall.--And certainly
+Love, in its last degree, is something still."
+--Then I, on purpose, pass'd the house.--But see!
+Pythias breaks forth affrighted.--What means this?
+
+  [Changes:
+
+    "Alas! thought I ...
+  _quotation marks in this speech supplied from 1768 edition_
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Enter PYTHIAS and DORIAS; PHAEDRIA at a distance._
+
+PYTH. Where shall I find, unhappy that I am,
+Where seek this rascal-slave?--this slave, that durst
+To do a deed like this?--Undone! undone!
+
+PHAED. What this may be, I dread.
+
+PYTH. And then the villain,
+After he had abused the virgin, tore
+The poor girl's clothes, and dragg'd her by the hair.
+
+PHAED. How's this!
+
+PYTH. Who, were he now within my reach,
+How could I fly upon the vagabond,
+And tear the villain's eyes out with my nails?
+
+PHAED. What tumult's this, arisen in my absence?
+I'll go and ask her.-- (_Going up._) What's the matter, Pythias?
+Why thus disturb'd? and whom is it you seek?
+
+PYTH. Whom do I seek? Away, Sir Phaedria!
+You and your gifts together!
+
+PHAED. What's the matter?
+
+PYTH. The matter, Sir! the Eunuch, that you sent us,
+Has made fine work here! the young virgin, whom
+The Captain gave my mistress, he has ravish'd.
+
+PHAED. Ravish'd? How say you?
+
+PYTH. Ruin'd, and undone!
+
+PHAED. You're drunk.
+
+PYTH. Would those who wish me ill were so!
+
+DORI. Ah Pythias! what strange prodigy is this?
+
+PHAED. You're mad: how could an Eunuch----
+
+PYTH. I don't know
+Or who, or what he was.--What he has done,
+The thing itself declares.----The virgin weeps,
+Nor, when you ask what ails her, dare she tell.
+But he, good man, is nowhere to be found:
+And I fear too, that when he stole away,
+He carried something off.
+
+PHAED. I can't conceive
+Whither the rascal can have flown, unless
+He to our house, perhaps, slunk back again.
+
+PYTH. See now, I pray you, if he has.
+
+PHAED. I will. (_Exit._
+
+DORI. Good lack! so strange a thing I never heard.
+
+PYTH. I've heard, that they lov'd women mightily
+But could do nothing; yet I never thought on't:
+For if I had, I'd have confin'd him close
+In some by-place, nor trusted the girl to him.
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Re-enter PHAEDRIA, with DORUS the Eunuch, in CHAEREA'S clothes._
+
+PHAED. Out, rascal, out!--What are you resty, Sirrah?
+Out, thou vile bargain!
+
+DOR. Dear Sir! (_Crying._)
+
+PHAED. See the wretch!
+What a wry mouth he makes!--Come, what's the meaning
+Of your returning? and your change of dress?
+What answer, Sirrah!--If I had delay'd
+A minute longer, Pythias, I had miss'd him,
+He was equipp'd so bravely for his flight.
+
+PYTH. What, have you got the rogue?
+
+PHAED. I warrant you.
+
+PYTH. Well done! well done!
+
+DORI. Aye, marry, very well.
+
+PYTH. Where is he?
+
+PHAED. Don't you see him?
+
+PYTH. See him? whom?
+
+PHAED. This fellow, to be sure.
+
+PYTH. This man! who is he?
+
+PHAED. He that was carried to your house to-day.
+
+PYTH. None of our people ever laid their eyes
+Upon this fellow, Phaedria!
+
+PHAED. Never saw him?
+
+PYTH. Why, did you think this fellow had been brought
+To us?
+
+PHAED. Yes, surely; for I had no other.
+
+PYTH. Oh dear! this fellow's not to be compar'd
+To t'other.--He was elegant, and handsome.
+
+PHAED. Aye, so he might appear a while ago,
+Because he had gay clothes on: now he seems
+Ugly, because he's stripped.
+
+PYTH. Nay, prithee, peace!
+As if the diff'rence was so very small!----
+The youth conducted to our house to-day,
+'Twould do you good to cast your eyes on, Phaedria:
+This is a drowsy, wither'd, weasel-fac'd,
+Old fellow.
+
+PHAED. How?----you drive me to that pass,
+That I scarce know what I have done myself.
+--Did not I buy you, rascal? (_To DORUS._)
+
+DOR. Yes, Sir.
+
+PYTH. Order him
+To answer me.
+
+PHAED. Well, question him.
+
+PYTH. (_to DORUS_). Was you
+Brought here to-day? (_Shakes his head._) See there! Not he. It was
+Another, a young lad, about sixteen,
+Whom Parmeno brought with him.
+
+PHAED. (_to DORUS_). Speak to me!
+First tell me, whence had you that coat? What, dumb?
+I'll make you speak, you villain? (_Beating him._)
+
+DOR. Chaerea came---- (_Crying._)
+
+PHAED. My brother?
+
+DOR. Yes, Sir!
+
+PHAED. When?
+
+DOR. To-day.
+
+PHAED. How long since?
+
+DOR. Just now.
+
+PHAED. With whom?
+
+DOR. With Parmeno.
+
+PHAED. Did you
+Know him before?
+
+DOR. No, Sir; nor e'er heard of him.
+
+PHAED. How did you know then that he was my brother?
+
+DOR. Parmeno told me so; and Chaerea
+Gave me these clothes----
+
+PHAED. Confusion! (_Aside._)
+
+DOR. Put on mine;
+And then they both went out o' doors together.
+
+PYTH. Now, Sir, do you believe that I am sober?
+Now do you think, I've told no lie? And now
+Are you convinc'd the girl has been abus'd!
+
+PHAED. Away, fool! d'ye believe what this wretch says?
+
+PYTH. What signifies belief?--It speaks itself.
+
+PHAED. (_apart to DORUS_). Come this way--hark ye! ----further still.
+    ----Enough.
+Tell me once more. ----Did Chaerea strip you?
+
+DOR. Yes.
+
+PHAED. And put your clothes on?
+
+DOR. Yes, Sir!
+
+PHAED. And was brought
+In your stead hither?
+
+DOR. Yes.
+
+PHAED. Great Jupiter! (_Pretending to be in a passion with him._)
+What a most wicked scoundrel's this?
+
+PYTH. Alas!
+Don't you believe, then, we've been vilely us'd?
+
+PHAED. No wonder if you credit what he says.
+I don't know what to do. (_Aside._)--Here, harkye, Sirrah!
+Deny it all again. (_Apart to DORUS._)--What! can't I beat
+The truth out of you, rascal?--have you seen
+My brother Chaerea? (_Aloud, and beating him._)
+
+DOR. No, Sir! (_Crying._)
+
+PHAED. So! I see
+He won't confess without a beating.--This way! (_Apart._) Now
+He owns it; now denies it.--Ask my pardon! (_Apart._)
+
+DOR. Beseech you, Sir, forgive me!
+
+PHAED. Get you gone. (_Kicking him._)
+Oh me! oh dear! (_Exit, howling._
+
+PHAED. (_aside_). I had no other way
+To come off handsomely.--We're all undone.
+--D'ye think to play your tricks on me, you rascal?
+  (_Aloud, and Exit after DORUS._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    PHAED. How did you know then that he was my brother?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PHAED. How did you know he was my brother then?]
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _Manent PYTHIAS and DORIAS._
+
+PYTH. As sure as I'm alive, this is a trick
+Of Parmeno's.
+
+DORI. No doubt on't.
+
+PYTH. I'll devise
+Some means to-day to fit him for't.--But now
+What would you have me do?
+
+DORI. About the girl!
+
+PYTH. Aye; shall I tell; or keep the matter secret?
+
+DORI. Troth, if you're wise you know not what you know,
+Nor of the Eunuch, nor the ravishment:
+So shall you clear yourself of all this trouble,
+And do a kindness to our mistress too.
+Say nothing, but that Dorus is gone off.
+
+PYTH. I'll do so.
+
+DORI. Prithee is not Chremes yonder?
+Thais will soon be here.
+
+PYTH. How so?
+
+DORI. Because
+When I came thence, a quarrel was abroach
+Among them.
+
+PYTH. Carry in the jewels, Dorias.
+Meanwhile I'll learn of Chremes what has happen'd.
+  (_Exit DORIAS._
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _Enter CHREMES tipsy._
+
+CHREM. So! so!--I'm in for't--and the wine I've drank
+Has made me reel again.--Yet while I sat,
+How sober I suppos'd myself!--But I
+No sooner rose, than neither foot, nor head,
+Knew their own business!
+
+PYTH. Chremes!
+
+CHREM. Who's that?--Ha!
+Pythias!--How much more handsome you seem now,
+Than you appear'd a little while ago!
+
+PYTH. I'm sure you seem a good deal merrier.
+
+CHREM. I'faith it's an old saying, and a true one,
+"Ceres and Bacchus are warm friends of Venus."
+--But, pray, has Thais been here long before me?
+
+PYTH. Has she yet left the Captain's?
+
+CHREM. Long time since:
+An age ago. They've had a bloody quarrel.
+
+PYTH. Did not she bid you follow her?
+
+CHREM. Not she:
+Only she made a sign to me at parting.
+
+PYTH. Well, wasn't that enough?
+
+CHREM. No, faith! I did not
+At all conceive her meaning, till the Captain
+Gave me the hint, and kick'd me out o' doors!
+--But here she is! I wonder how it was,
+I overtook her!
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    CHREM. No, faith! I did not
+    At all conceive her meaning, till the Captain
+  _Colman 1768_
+    CHREM. No, faith! I never
+    At all conceiv'd her meaning, till the Captain]
+
+
+SCENE VII.
+
+  _Enter THAIS._
+
+THAIS. I am apt to think,
+The Captain will soon follow me, to take
+The virgin from me: Well then, let him come!
+But if he does but lay a finger on her,
+We'll tear his eyes out.--His impertinence.
+And big words, while mere words, I can endure;
+But if he comes to action, woe be to him!
+
+CHREM. Thais, I have been here some time.
+
+THAIS. My Chremes!
+The very man I wanted!--Do you know
+That you have been th' occasion of this quarrel?
+And that this whole affair relates to you?
+
+CHREM. To me! how so?
+
+THAIS. Because, while I endeavor,
+And study to restore your sister to you,
+This and much more I've suffer'd.
+
+CHREM. Where's my sister?
+
+THAIS. Within, at my house.
+
+CHREM. Ha! (_With concern._)
+
+THAIS. Be not alarm'd:
+She has been well brought up, and in a manner
+Worthy herself and you.
+
+CHREM. Indeed?
+
+THAIS. 'Tis true:
+And now most freely I restore her to you,
+Demanding nothing of you in return.
+
+CHREM. I feel your goodness, Thais, and shall ever
+Remain much bounden to you.
+
+THAIS. Aye, but now
+Take heed, my Chremes, lest ere you receive
+The maid from me, you lose her! for 'tis she,
+Whom now the Captain comes to take by storm.
+--Pythias, go, fetch the casket with the proofs!
+
+CHREM. D'ye see him, Thais? (_Looking out._)
+
+PYTH. Where's the casket plac'd?
+
+THAIS. Plac'd in the cabinet.--D'ye loiter, hussy?
+(_Exit PYTHIAS._
+
+CHREM. What force the Captain brings with him against you!
+Good Heav'n!
+
+THAIS. Are you afraid, young gentleman?
+
+CHREM. Away!--who? I? afraid?--There is no man
+Alive less so.
+
+THAIS. You'd need be stout at present.
+
+CHREM. What kind of man d'ye take me for?
+
+THAIS. Consider,
+He, whom you've now to cope with, is a stranger
+Less powerful than you, less known, and less
+Befriended here than you!
+
+CHREM. I know all that:
+But why, like fools, admit what we may shun?
+Better prevent a wrong, than afterward
+Revenge it, when receiv'd----Do you step in,
+And bolt the door, while I run to the Forum,
+And call some officers to our assistance. (_Going._)
+
+THAIS. Stay! (_Holding him._)
+
+CHREM. 'Twill be better.
+
+THAIS. Hold!
+
+CHREM. Nay, let me go!
+I'll soon be back.
+
+THAIS. We do not want them, Chremes.
+Say, only, that this maiden is your sister,
+And that you lost her when a child, and now
+Know her again for yours.
+
+_Enter PYTHIAS._
+
+THAIS (_to PYTH._) Produce the proofs!
+
+PYTH. Here they are.
+
+THAIS. Take them, Chremes!--If the Captain
+Attempts to do you any violence,
+Lead him before a magistrate. D'ye mark me?
+
+CHREM. I do.
+
+THAIS. Be sure now speak with a good courage!
+
+CHREM. I will.
+
+THAIS. Come, gather up your cloak.----Undone!
+I've got a champion, who wants help himself.
+
+(_Exeunt._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+    THAIS. 'Tis true:
+  _opening apostrophe missing in Harper edition_
+
+  _Harper_
+    PYTH. Where's the casket plac'd?
+    THAIS. Plac'd in the cabinet.--D'ye loiter, hussy?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PYTH. Where does the casket stand?
+    THAIS. Upon the cabinet.--D'ye loiter, hussy?
+
+  _Harper_
+    CHREM. Away!--who? I? afraid?--There is no man
+    Alive less so.
+    THAIS. You'd need be stout at present.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    CHREM. Away!--who? I? afraid?--No mortal less.
+    THAIS. Nay, you had need be stout at present, Chremes.]
+
+  _Harper_
+    I've got a champion, who wants help himself.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    My champion wants a champion for himself.]
+
+
+SCENE VIII.
+
+  _Enter THRASO, GNATHO, SANGA, etc._
+
+THRASO. Shall I put up with an affront so gross,
+So monstrous, Gnatho?--No, I'd rather die.
+Simalio, Donax, Syrus, follow me!
+First, I will storm their castle.
+
+GNAT. Excellent!
+
+THRA. Next carry off the Virgin.
+
+GNAT. Admirable!
+
+THRA. Then punish Thais herself.
+
+GNAT. Incomparable!
+
+THRA. Here, in the centre, Donax, with your club!
+Do you, Simalio, charge on the left wing!
+You, Syrus, on the right!--Bring up the rest!
+Where's the Centurion Sanga, and his band
+Of rascal runaways?
+
+SAN. Here, Sir!
+
+THRA. How now?
+Think'st thou to combat with a dish-clout, slave!
+That thus thou bring'st it here?
+
+SAN. Ah, Sir! I knew
+The valor of the gen'ral and his troops;
+And seeing this affair must end in blood,
+I brought a clout, to wipe the wounds withal.
+
+THRA. Where are the rest?
+
+SAN. Rest! Plague, whom d'ye mean?
+There's nobody, but Sannio, left at home.
+
+THRA. Lead you the van (_to GNATHO_); and I'll bring up the rear:
+Thence give the word to all.
+
+GNAT. What wisdom is!
+Now he has drawn up these in rank and file,
+His post behind secures him a retreat.
+
+THRA. Just so his line of battle Pyrrhus form'd.
+
+(_CHREMES and THAIS appear above at a window._)
+
+CHREM. D'ye see, my Thais, what he is about?
+To bar and bolt the doors was good advice.
+
+THAIS. Tut, man! you fool, that seems so mighty brave,
+Is a mere coward. Do not be afraid!
+
+THRA. What were best? (_To GNATHO._)
+
+GNAT. Troth, I wish you had a sling:
+That you from far in ambush might attack them!
+They'd soon fly then, I warrant you.
+
+THRA. But see!
+Thais appears.
+
+GNAT. Let's charge them then! Come on!
+
+THRA. Halt!--'Tis the part of a wise general
+To try all methods, ere he come to arms.
+How do you know, but Thais may obey
+My orders without force?
+
+GNAT. Oh, gracious Heavens!
+Of what advantage is it to be wise!
+I ne'er approach but I go wiser from you.
+
+THRA. Thais, first answer this! Did you, or no,
+When I presented you the Virgin, promise,
+To give yourself some days to me alone?
+
+THAIS. What then?
+
+THRA. Is that a question, when you durst
+To bring a rival to my face?
+
+THAIS. And what
+Business have you with him?
+
+THRA. ----And then stole off
+In company with him?
+
+THAIS. It was my pleasure.
+
+THRA. Therefore, restore my Pamphila; unless
+You choose to see her carried off by force.
+
+CHREM. She restore Pamphila to you? Or you
+Attempt to touch her, rascal?
+
+GNAT. Ah, beware!
+Peace, peace, young gentleman!
+
+THRA. (_to CHREM._) What is't you mean?
+Shall I not touch my own?
+
+CHREM. Your own, you scoundrel?
+
+GNAT. Take heed! you know not whom you rail at thus.
+
+CHREM. Won't you be gone?--here, hark ye, Sir! d'ye know
+How matters stand with you?--if you attempt
+To raise a riot in this place to-day,
+I'll answer for it, that you shall remember
+This place, to-day, and me, your whole life-long.
+
+GNAT. I pity you: to make so great a man
+Your enemy!
+
+CHREM. Hence! or I'll break your head.
+
+GNAT. How's that, you hang-dog? Are you for that sport?
+
+THRA. Who are you, fellow?--what d'ye mean?--and what
+Have you to do with Pamphila?
+
+CHREM. I'll tell you,
+First, I declare, that she's a free-born woman!
+
+THRA. How?
+
+CHREM. And a citizen of Athens.
+
+THRA. Hui!
+
+CHREM. My sister.
+
+THRA. Impudence!
+
+CHREM. So, Captain, now
+I give you warning, offer her no force!
+--Thais, I'll now to Sophrona, the Nurse,
+And bring her here with me to see the proofs.
+
+THRA. And you prohibit me to touch my own?
+
+CHREM. Yes, I prohibit you.
+
+GNAT. D'ye hear? he owns
+The robbery himself. Isn't that sufficient?
+
+THRA. And, Thais, you maintain the same?
+
+THAIS. Ask those
+Who care to answer. (_Shuts down the window._)
+
+_Manent THRASO and GNATHO, etc._
+
+THRA. What shall we do now?
+
+GNAT. Why--e'en go back again!--This harlot here
+Will soon be with you to request forgiveness.
+
+THRA. D'ye think so?
+
+GNAT. Aye, most certainly. I know
+The ways of women.--When you will, they won't;
+And when you won't, they're dying for you.
+
+THRA. True.
+
+GNAT. Shall I disband the army?
+
+THRA. When you will.
+
+GNAT. Sanga, as well becomes a brave militia,
+Take to your houses and firesides again.
+
+SAN. My mind was like a sop i' th' pan, long since.
+
+GNAT. Good fellow!
+
+SAN. To the right about there! march!
+(_Exit, with GNATHO and THRASO at the head of the troops._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    THRA. Is that a question, when you durst
+    To bring a rival to my face?
+    THAIS. And what
+    Business have you with him?
+    THRA. ----And then stole off
+    In company with him?
+    THAIS. It was my pleasure.
+    THRA. Therefore, restore my Pamphila ...
+  _Colman 1768_
+    THRA. Is that a question, when you brought
+    Your lover to affront me to my face?--
+    THAIS. What business have you with him?
+    THRA. ----And stole off
+    In company with him?
+    THAIS. It was my pleasure.
+    THRA. Therefore, restore me Pamphila ...]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FIFTH.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _THAIS and PYTHIAS._
+
+THAIS. Still, still, you, baggage, will you shuffle with me?
+--"I know--I don't know--he's gone off--I've heard----
+I was not present"--Be it what it may,
+Can't you inform me openly?--The Virgin,
+Her clothes all torn, in sullen silence weeps.
+The Eunuch's fled.--What means all this? and what
+Has happen'd?--Won't you answer me?
+
+PYTH. Alas!
+What can I answer you?--He was, they say,
+No Eunuch.
+
+THAIS. What then?
+
+PYTH. Chaerea.
+
+THAIS. Chaerea!
+What Chaerea?
+
+PYTH. Phaedria's younger brother.
+
+THAIS. How!
+What's that, hag?
+
+PYTH. I've discover'd it: I'm sure on't.
+
+THAIS. Why, what had he to do with us? or why
+Was he brought hither?
+
+PYTH. That I can not tell;
+Unless, as I suppose, for love of Pamphila.
+
+THAIS. Alas! I am undone; undone, indeed,
+If that, which you have told me now, be true.
+Is't that the girl bemoans thus?
+
+PYTH. I believe so.
+
+THAIS. How, careless wretch! was that the charge I gave you
+At my departure?
+
+PYTH. What could I do? She
+Was trusted, as you bade, to him alone.
+
+THAIS. Oh, jade, you set the wolf to keep the sheep
+--I'm quite asham'd to 've been so poorly bubbled.
+
+PYTH. Who comes here?--Hist! peace, madam, I beseech you!
+We're safe: we have the very man.
+    (_Seeing CHAEREA at a distance._)
+
+THAIS. Where is he?
+
+PYTH. Here, on the left; d'ye see him, ma'am?
+
+THAIS. I see him.
+
+PYTH. Let him be seiz'd immediately!
+
+THAIS. And what
+Can we do to him, fool?
+
+PYTH. Do to him, say you?
+--See, what a saucy face the rogue has got!
+Ha'nt he?--and then how settled an assurance?
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter CHAEREA._
+
+CHAER. At Antipho's, as if for spite, there were
+His father and his mother both at home,
+So that I could by no means enter, but
+They must have seen me. Meanwhile, as I stood
+Before the door, came by an old acquaintance,
+At sight of whom I flew, with all my speed,
+Into a narrow, unfrequented alley;
+And thence into another, and another,
+Frighten'd and flurried as I scampered on,
+Lest any one should know me.--But is that
+Thais? 'Tis she herself. I'm all aground.
+What shall I do?--Pshaw! what have I to care?
+What can she do to me?
+
+THAIS. Let's up to him.
+Oh, Dorus! good Sir, welcome!--And so, Sirrah,
+You ran away.
+
+CHAER. Yes, madam!
+
+THAIS. And you think
+It was a clever trick?
+
+CHAER. No, madam!
+
+THAIS. Can you
+Believe that you shall go unpunish'd for it?
+
+CHAER. Forgive me this one fault! If I commit
+Another, kill me!
+
+THAIS. Do you dread my cruelty?
+
+CHAER. No, ma'am!
+
+THAIS. What then?
+
+CHAER. I was afraid, lest She
+Accuse me to you. (_Pointing to PYTHIAS._)
+
+THAIS. Upon what account?
+
+CHAER. A little matter.
+
+PYTH. Rogue! a little matter?
+Is it so little, think you, to abuse
+A virgin, and a citizen!
+
+CHAER. I thought
+She was my fellow-servant.
+
+PYTH. Fellow-servant!
+I can scarce hold from flying at his hair.
+Monstrous! he's come to make his sport of us.
+
+THAIS. Away! you rave.
+
+PYTH. Why so? if I had done 't,
+I should have still been in the monster's debt;
+Particularly, as he owns himself
+Your servant.
+
+THAIS. Well--no more of this.--Oh, Chaerea,
+You've done a deed unworthy of yourself:
+For granting I, perhaps, might well deserve
+This injury, it was not honorable
+In you to do it.--As I live, I know not
+What counsel to pursue about this girl;
+You've so destroy'd my measures, that I can't
+Restore her, without blushing to her friends,
+Nor so deliver her, as I propos'd,
+To make them thank me for my kindness, Chaerea!
+
+CHAER. Henceforth, I hope, eternal peace shall be
+Betwixt us, Thais! Oft from things like these,
+And bad beginnings, warmest friendships rise.
+What if some God hath order'd this?
+
+THAIS. Indeed,
+I'll so interpret it, and wish it so.
+
+CHAER. I prithee do!--and be assured of this,
+That naught I did in scorn, but all in love.
+
+THAIS. I do believe it; and, on that account,
+More readily forgive you: for oh! Chaerea,
+I am not form'd of an ungentle nature,
+Nor am I now to learn the pow'r of love.
+
+CHAER. Now, Thais, by my life, I love thee too.
+
+PYTH. Then, by my troth, you must take care of him.
+
+CHAER. I durst not----
+
+PYTH. I don't mind a word you say.
+
+THAIS. Have done!
+
+CHAER. But now, in this one circumstance,
+Let me beseech you to assist me! I
+Commit myself entirely to your care:
+Invoke you, as my patroness; implore you.
+Perdition seize me, but I'll marry her!
+
+THAIS. But if your father----
+
+CHAER. What of him? I know
+He'll soon consent, provided it appears
+That she's a citizen.
+
+THAIS. If you will wait
+A little while, her brother will be here:
+He's gone to fetch the nurse that brought her up;
+And you shall witness the discovery.
+
+CHAER. I will remain then.
+
+THAIS. But, in the mean time,
+Had you not rather wait within, than here
+Before the door?
+
+CHAER. Much rather.
+
+PYTH. What the plague
+Are you about?
+
+THAIS. What now?
+
+PYTH. What now, indeed?
+Will you let him within your doors again?
+
+THAIS. Why not?
+
+PYTH. Remember that I prophesy,
+He'll make some fresh disturbance.
+
+THAIS. Prithee, peace!
+
+PYTH. It seems, you have not had sufficient proof
+Of his assurance.
+
+CHAER. I'll do no harm, Pythias!
+
+PYTH. I'll not believe it, Chaerea, till I see it.
+
+CHAER. But you shall keep me, Pythias!
+
+PYTH. No, not I.
+For, by my troth, I would trust nothing with you,
+Neither to keep, nor be kept by you.--Hence!
+Away!
+
+THAIS. Oh brave! the brother's here! (_Looking out._)
+
+CHAER. Confusion!
+Let's in, dear Thais! I'd not have him see me
+Here in this dress.
+
+THAIS. Why so? Are you asham'd?
+
+CHAER. I am indeed.
+
+PYTH. Indeed! asham'd! oh dear!
+Think of the girl!
+
+THAIS. Go in! I'll follow you.
+Pythias, do you stay here to bring in Chremes.
+    (_Exeunt THAIS and CHAEREA._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    Lest any one should know me.--But is that
+    Thais? 'Tis she herself. I'm all aground.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Lest any one should know me in this habit.
+    But is that Thais? She. I'm all aground.
+
+  _Harper_
+    It was a clever trick?
+    CHAER. No, madam!
+    THAIS. Can you
+    Believe that you shall go unpunish'd for it?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    It was a clever trick, I warrant you?
+    CHAER. No, madam!
+    THAIS. Can you believe that you shall go unpunish'd?
+
+  _Harper_
+    THAIS. Upon what account?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    THAIS. Of what crime?
+
+  _Harper_
+    PYTH. Why so? if I had done 't
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PYTH. Not I. if I had done 't
+
+  _Harper_
+    Let me beseech you to assist me! I
+    Commit myself entirely to your care:
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Let me beseech you to assist me, Thais!
+    I trust myself entirely to your care:
+
+  _Harper_
+    PYTH. I'll not believe it, Chaerea, till I see it.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PYTH. I'll not believe it, till I see it, Chaerea.]
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _PYTHIAS, CHREMES, SOPHRONA._
+
+PYTH. What can I think of? what can I devise?
+Some trick now to be even with that rogue
+Who palm'd this young spark on us.
+
+CHREM. (_leading the nurse_). Nay, but stir
+Your stumps a little faster, nurse!
+
+SOPH. I come.
+
+CHREM. Aye, marry; but you don't come on a jot.
+
+PYTH. Well! have you shown the tokens to the nurse?
+
+CHREM. I have.
+
+PYTH. And pray what says she? Did she know them?
+
+CHREM. At first sight.
+
+PYTH. Oh brave news! I'm glad to hear it;
+For I've a kindness for the girl. Go in;
+My mistress is impatient for your coming.
+(_Exeunt CHREMES and SOPHRONA._
+See, yonder's my good master Parmeno,
+Marching this way: How unconcern'd, forsooth,
+He stalks along!--But I've devis'd, I hope,
+The means to vex him sorely.--First I'll in,
+To know the truth of this discovery,
+And then return to terrify this rascal. (_Exit._
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Enter PARMENO._
+
+PAR. I'm come to see what Chaerea has been doing:
+Who, if he has but manag'd matters well,
+Good Heav'ns, how much, and what sincere applause
+Shall Parmeno acquire!--For not to mention,
+In an intrigue so difficult as this,
+Of so much probable expense at least,
+Since with a griping harlot he'd have bargain'd,
+That I've procur'd for him the girl he lov'd,
+Without cost, charge, or trouble; t'other point,
+That, that I hold my master-piece, there think
+I've gain'd the prize, in showing a young spark
+The dispositions and the ways of harlots:
+Which having early learn'd, he'll ever shun.
+(_Enter PYTHIAS behind._)
+When they're abroad, forsooth, there's none so clean,
+Nothing so trim, so elegant, as they;
+Nor, when they sup with a gallant, so nice!
+To see these very creatures' gluttony,
+Filth, poverty, and meanness, when at home;
+So eager after food, that they devour
+From yesterday's stale broth the coarse black bread:--
+All this to know is safety to young men.
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _PYTHIAS, PARMENO._
+
+PYTH. (_behind_). 'Faith, Sirrah, I'll be handsomely revenged
+For all you've done and said. You shall not boast
+Your tricks on us without due punishment.
+  (_Aloud, coming forward._)
+Oh Heav'ns! oh dreadful deed! oh hapless youth!
+Oh wicked Parmeno, that brought him here!
+
+PAR. What now?
+
+PYTH. It mov'd me so. I could not bear
+To see it: therefore I flew out o' doors.
+What an example will they make of him!
+
+PAR. Oh Jupiter! What tumult can this be?
+Am I undone, or no?--I'll e'en inquire.
+Pythias! (_going up._) What now? what is't you rave about?
+Who's to be made this terrible example?
+
+PYTH. Who? most audacious monster! while you meant
+To play your tricks on us, you have destroyed
+The youth whom you brought hither for the Eunuch.
+
+PAR. How so? and what has happen'd? Prithee tell me!
+
+PYTH. Tell you? D'ye know the virgin, that was sent
+To-day to Thais, is a citizen?
+Her brother too a man of the first rank?
+
+PAR. I did not know it.
+
+PYTH. Aye, but so it seems.
+The poor young spark abus'd the girl; a thing
+No sooner known, than he, the furious brother----
+
+PAR. Did what?
+
+PYTH. First bound him hand and foot----
+
+PAR. How! bound him!
+
+PYTH. And now, though Thais begged him not to do it----
+
+PAR. How! what!
+
+PYTH. Moreover threatens, he will serve him
+After the manner of adulterers;
+A thing I ne'er saw done, and ne'er desire.
+
+PAR. How durst he offer at an act so monstrous?
+
+PYTH. And why so monstrous?
+
+PAR. Is it not most monstrous?
+Who ever saw a young man seiz'd and bound
+For rapes and lewdness in a house of harlots?
+
+PYTH. I don't know.
+
+PAR. Aye; but you must all know this.
+I tell you, and foretell you, that young spark
+Is my old master's son.
+
+PYTH. Indeed, is he?
+
+PAR. And let not Thais suffer any one
+To do him violence!--But why don't I
+Rush in myself?
+
+PYTH. Ah! take care, Parmeno,
+What you're about; lest you do him no good,
+And hurt yourself: for they imagine you,
+Whatever has been done, the cause of all.
+
+PAR. What shall I do then, wretch? what undertake?
+--Oh! yonder's my old master, just return'd
+To town. Shall I tell him, or no?--I' faith
+I'll tell him, though I am well convinc'd it will
+Bring me into a scrape; a heavy one: And yet
+It must be done to help poor Chaerea.
+
+PYTH. Right.
+I'll in again; and you, in the mean while,
+Tell the old gentleman the whole affair. (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    Who ever saw a young man seiz'd and bound
+    For rapes and lewdness in a house of harlots?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Who ever saw a young man seiz'd by force,
+    And punish'd for adultery in a brothel?
+
+  _Harper_
+    To do him violence!--But why don't I
+    Rush in myself?
+    PYTH. Ah! take care, Parmeno
+  _Colman 1768_
+    To do him any violence!--But why
+    Don't I rush in myself?
+    PYTH. Ah! have a care
+
+  _Harper_
+    PAR. What shall I do then, wretch? what undertake?
+    --Oh! yonder's my old master, just return'd
+    To town. Shall I tell him, or no?--I' faith
+    I'll tell him, though I am well convinc'd it will
+    Bring me into a scrape; a heavy one: And yet
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PAR. What shall I do then? what resolve? Confusion!
+    --Oh! yonder's my old master, just return'd
+    To town. Shall I tell _him_ of it, or no?
+    I'll tell him, tho' I am well convinc'd, the blame
+    Will light on me, and heavily: And yet]
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _Enter LACHES._
+
+LACHES. I've this convenience from my neighb'ring villa;
+I'm never tir'd of country or of town.
+For as disgust comes on, I change my place.
+--But is not that our Parmeno? 'Tis he
+For certain.--Whom d'ye wait for, Parmeno,
+Before that door?
+
+PAR. Who's that? Oh, Sir! you're welcome:
+I'm glad to see you safe return'd to town.
+
+LACHES. Whom do you wait for?
+
+PAR. I'm undone: my tongue
+Cleaves to my mouth through fear.
+
+LACHES. Ha! what's the matter?
+Why do you tremble so? Is all right? Speak!
+
+PAR. First, Sir, I'd have you think, for so it is,
+Whatever has befall'n has not befall'n
+Through any fault of mine.
+
+LACHES. What is't?
+
+PAR. That's true.
+Your pardon, Sir, I should have told that first.
+--Phaedria, Sir, bought a certain Eunuch, as
+A present to send her.
+
+LACHES. Her!--Her! whom?
+
+PAR. Thais.
+
+LACHES. Bought? I'm undone! at what price?
+
+PAR. Twenty Minae.
+
+LACHES. I'm ruin'd.
+
+PAR. And then Chaerea's fall'n in love
+With a young music-girl.
+
+LACHES. How! what! in love!
+Knows he already what a harlot is?
+Has he stol'n into town? More plagues on plagues.
+
+PAR. Nay, Sir! don't look on me! it was not done
+By my advice.
+
+LACHES. Leave prating of yourself.
+As for you, rascal, if I live--But first
+Whatever has befallen, tell me, quick!
+
+PAR. Chaerea was carried thither for the Eunuch.
+
+LACHES. He for the Eunuch!
+
+PAR. Yes: since when, within
+They've seiz'd and bound him for a ravisher.
+
+LACHES. Confusion!
+
+PAR. See the impudence of harlots!
+
+LACHES. Is there aught else of evil or misfortune
+You have not told me yet?
+
+PAR. You know the whole.
+
+LACHES. Then why do I delay to rush in on them?
+                                              (_Exit._
+
+PAR. There is no doubt but I shall smart for this.
+But since I was oblig'd to 't, I rejoice
+That I shall make these strumpets suffer too:
+For our old gentleman has long desir'd
+Some cause to punish them; and now he has it.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    --But is not that our Parmeno? 'Tis he
+    For certain.--Whom d'ye wait for, Parmeno
+  _Colman 1768_
+    --But is not that our Parmeno? 'Tis he.
+    Parmeno, who is it you're waiting for
+
+  _Harper_
+    PAR. First, Sir, I'd have you think, for so it is
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PAR. First be persuaded, Sir,--for that's the case
+
+  _Harper_
+    --Phaedria, Sir, bought a certain Eunuch, as
+    A present to send her.
+    LACHES. Her!--Her! whom?
+    PAR. Thais.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    --Phaedria lately bought a certain Eunuch
+    By way of present to this gentlewoman.
+    LACHES. What gentlewoman, sirrah?
+    PAR. Madam Thais.
+
+  _Harper_
+    Has he stol'n into town? More plagues on plagues.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Is he in town? misfortune on misfortune!
+
+    LACHES. Confusion!
+  _1768 edition has question mark_]
+
+
+SCENE VII.
+
+  _Enter PYTHIAS; PARMENO at a distance._
+
+PYTH. Well! I was ne'er more pleas'd in all my life
+Than when I saw th' old man come blund'ring in.
+I had the jest alone; for I alone
+Knew what he was afraid of.
+
+PAR. Hey! what now?
+
+PYTH. I'm now come forth t' encounter Parmeno.
+Where is he?
+
+PAR. She seeks me.
+
+PYTH. Oh, there he is.
+I'll go up to him.
+
+PAR. Well, fool, what's the matter? (_PYTHIAS laughs._)
+What would you? what d'ye laugh at? Hey! what still?
+
+PYTH. Oh, I shall die: I'm horribly fatigu'd
+With laughing at you. (_Laughing heartily._)
+
+PAR. Why so? pray!
+
+PYTH. Why so? (_Laughing._)
+I ne'er saw, ne'er shall see, a greater fool.
+Oh, it's impossible to tell what sport
+You've made within.--I swear, I always thought
+That you had been a shrewd, sharp, cunning fellow.
+What! to believe directly what I told you!
+Or was you prick'd in conscience for the sin
+The young man had committed through your means,
+That you must after tell his father of him?
+How d'ye suppose he felt when old gray-beard
+Surpris'd him in that habit?--What! you find
+That you're undone. (_Laughing heartily._)
+
+PAR. What's this, impertinence?
+Was it a lie you told me? D'ye laugh still?
+Is't such a jest to make fools of us, hag?
+
+PYTH. Delightful! (_Laughing._)
+
+PAR. If you don't pay dearly for it!----
+
+PYTH. Perhaps so. (_Laughing._)
+
+PAR. I'll return it.
+
+PYTH. Oh, no doubt on't. (_Laughing._)
+But what you threaten, Parmeno, is distant:
+You'll be truss'd up to-day; who first draw in
+A raw young man to sin, and then betray him.
+They'll both conspire to make you an example. (_Laughing._)
+
+PAR. I'm done for.
+
+PYTH. Take this, slave, as a reward
+For the fine gift you sent us; so, farewell! (_Exit PYTHIAS._
+
+PAR. I've been a fool indeed; and like a rat,
+Betray'd myself to-day by my own squeaking.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    PAR. Why so? pray!
+    PYTH. Why so?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PAR. For what cause?
+    PYTH. What cause?
+
+  _Harper_
+    Or was you prick'd in conscience for the sin
+    The young man had committed through your means,
+    That you must after tell his father of him?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Or was not you contented with the crime
+    You urg'd the youth to perpetrate, unless
+    You afterwards betray'd him to his father?]
+
+
+SCENE VIII.
+
+  _Enter THRASO, GNATHO; PARMENO behind._
+
+GNAT. What now? in what hope, or with what design
+Advance we hither? what adventure, Thraso?
+
+THRASO. What do I mean?--To Thais to surrender
+On her own terms?
+
+GNAT. Indeed?
+
+THRASO. Indeed! why not,
+As well as Hercules to Omphale?
+
+GNAT. A fit example.--Would I might behold
+Your head broke with her slipper. (_Aside._) But her doors
+Creak, and fly open.
+
+THRASO. 'Sdeath! what mischief now?
+I ne'er so much as saw this face before.
+Why bursts he forth with such alacrity?
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _1768 version of entire scene:_
+    GNAT. What now? with what hope, or design, advance we?
+    What's your intention, Thraso?
+    THRASO. My intention?
+    To Thais to surrender at discretion.
+    GNAT. How say you?
+    THRASO. Even so. Why should not I,
+    As well as Hercules to Omphale?
+    GNAT. A fit example.--Oh, that I could see her
+    Combing your empty noddle with her slipper!
+    But her door opens.
+    THRASO. 'Sdeath! what mischief now?
+    I ne'er so much as saw this face before.
+    Why bursts he forth with such alacrity?]
+
+
+SCENE IX.
+
+  _Enter CHAEREA at another part of the stage._
+
+CHAER. Lives there, my countrymen, a happier man
+To-day than I?--Not one.--For on my head
+The gods have plainly emptied all their store,
+On whom they've pour'd a flood of bliss at once.
+
+PAR. What's he so pleas'd at?
+
+CHAER. (_seeing him._) Oh my Parmeno
+Inventor, undertaker, perfecter
+Of all my pleasures, know'st thou my good fortunes?
+Know'st thou my Pamphila's a citizen?
+
+PAR. I've heard so.
+
+CHAER. Know'st thou she's betroth'd my wife?
+
+PAR. Oh brave, by Heav'n!
+
+GNAT. Hear you what he says? (_To THRASO._)
+
+CHAER. Then I rejoice, my brother Phaedria's love
+Is quietly secur'd to him forever:
+We're now one family: and Thais has
+Found favor with my father, and resign'd
+Herself to us for patronage and care.
+
+PAR. She's then entirely Phaedria's!
+
+CHAER. Aye, entirely.
+
+PAR. Another cause of joy: the Captain routed!
+
+CHAER. See, Parmeno, my brother (wheresoe'er
+He be) know this, as soon as possible!
+
+PAR. I'll see if he's at home. (_Exit._
+
+THRASO. Hast any doubt,
+Gnatho, but I'm entirely ruin'd?
+
+GNAT. None at all.
+
+CHAER. What shall I mention first? whom praise the most!
+Him that advis'd this action? or myself
+That durst to undertake it?--or extol
+Fortune, the governess of all, who deign'd,
+Events so many, of such moment too,
+So happily to close within one day?
+Or shall I praise my father's frank good-humor,
+And gay festivity?----Oh, Jupiter,
+Make but these blessings sure!
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    PAR. Oh brave, by Heav'n!
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PAR. Good news, by heaven!
+
+  _Harper_
+    Make but these blessings sure!
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Make but these blessings permanent!]
+
+
+SCENE X.
+
+  _Enter PHAEDRIA._
+
+PHAED. O heavenly powers!
+What wondrous things has Parmeno just told me!
+But where's my brother?
+
+CHAER. Here he is.
+
+PHAED. I'm happy.
+
+CHAER. I dare believe you are; and trust me, brother,
+Naught can be worthier of your love than Thais:
+Our family are all much bounden to her.
+
+PHAED. So! you'd need sing her praise to me!
+
+THRASO. Confusion!
+As my hope dies, my love increases. Gnatho
+Your help! my expectation's all in you.
+
+GNAT. What would you have me do?
+
+THRASO. Accomplish this;
+By pray'r, by purchase, that I still may have
+Some little share in Thais.
+
+GNAT. A hard task!
+
+THRASO. Do but incline to do't, you can, I know.
+Effect it, and demand whatever gift,
+Whate'er reward you please, it shall be yours.
+
+GNAT. Indeed?
+
+THRASO. Indeed!
+
+GNAT. If I accomplish this,
+I claim, that you agree to throw your doors,
+Present or absent, always open to me;
+A welcome, uninvited guest forever.
+
+THRASO. I pawn my honor as the pledge.
+
+GNAT. I'll try.
+
+PHAED. What voice is that? Oh, Thraso!
+
+THRASO. Gentlemen,
+Good-day!
+
+PHAED. Perhaps you're not acquainted yet
+With what has happen'd here?
+
+THRASO. I am.
+
+PHAED. Why then
+Do I behold you in these territories?
+
+THRASO. Depending on----
+
+PHAED. Depend on naught but this!
+Captain, I give you warning, if, henceforth,
+I ever find you in this street, although
+You tell me, "_I was looking for another,
+I was but passing through_," expect no quarter.
+
+GNAT. Oh fie! that is not handsome.
+
+PHAED. I have said it.
+
+GNAT. You can not be so rude.
+
+PHAED. It shall be so.
+
+GNAT. First grant me a short hearing: if you like
+What I propose, agree to't.
+
+PHAED. Let us hear!
+
+GNAT. Do you retire a moment, Thraso! (_THRASO retires._) First,
+I must beseech you both, most firmly think,
+That I, whate'er I do in this affair,
+For my own sake I do it: but if that
+Likewise advantage you, not to agree
+In you were folly.
+
+PHAED. What is't you propose?
+
+GNAT. I think you should admit the Captain, as
+Your rival.
+
+PHAED. How? admit him?
+
+GNAT. Nay consider!
+Phaedria, you live at a high rate with her,
+Revel, and feast, and stick at no expense.
+Yet what you give's but little, and you know
+'Tis needful Thais should receive much more
+Now to supply your love without your cost,
+A fitter person, one more form'd, can't be
+Than Thraso is: first, he has wherewithal
+To give, and gives most largely: a fool too,
+A dolt, a block, that snores out night and day;
+Nor can you fear she'll e'er grow fond of him;
+And you may drive him hence whene'er you please.
+
+PHAED. What shall we do? (_To CHAEREA._)
+
+GNAT. Moreover this; the which
+I hold no trifle, no man entertains
+More nobly or more freely.
+
+PHAED. I begin
+To think we've need of such a fool.
+
+CHAER. And I.
+
+GNAT. Well judg'd! and let me beg one favor more;
+Admit me of your family!--I have
+Roll'd this stone long enough.
+
+PHAED. We do admit you.
+
+CHAER. With all our hearts.
+
+GNAT. And you, Sirs, in return,
+Shall pledge me in the Captain; eat him; drink him:
+And laugh at him.
+
+CHAER. A bargain!
+
+PHAED. 'Tis his due.
+
+GNAT. Thraso, whene'er you please, approach!
+
+THRASO. Pray now,
+How stands the case?
+
+GNAT. Alas! they knew you not!
+But when I drew your character, and prais'd
+Your worth, according to your deeds and virtues,
+I gain'd my point.
+
+THRASO. 'Tis well: I'm much oblig'd;
+I ne'er was any where, in all my life,
+But all folks lov'd me dearly.
+
+GNAT. Did not I
+Say he had all the Attic elegance?
+
+PHAED. He is the very character you drew.
+
+GNAT. Retire then. --Ye, (_to the audience_,) farewell, and clap your
+    hands!
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    PHAED. O heavenly powers!
+    What wondrous things has Parmeno just told me!
+    But where's my brother?
+    CHAER. Here he is.
+    PHAED. I'm happy.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PHAED. Good heavens!
+    What wondrous things has Parmeno just told me!
+    But where's my brother?
+    CHAER. Here.
+    PHAED. I'm quite transported.
+
+  _Harper_
+    As my hope dies, my love increases. Gnatho
+    Your help! my expectation's all in you.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    As my hope dies, my passion gathers strength.
+    Gnatho, your help! my only hope's in you.
+
+  _Harper_
+    PHAED. What is't you propose?
+    GNAT. I think you should admit the Captain, as
+    Your rival.
+    PHAED. How? admit him?
+    GNAT. Nay consider!
+    Phaedria, you live at a high rate with her
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PHAED. What are your proposals?
+    GNAT. I think, 'twere not imprudent to admit
+    The Captain, as your rival.
+    PHAED. How!
+    Admit him, say you?
+    GNAT. Nay reflect a little.
+    Phaedria, you live at a high rate with Thais
+
+  _Harper_
+    Admit me of your family!--I have
+    Roll'd this stone long enough.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Admit me into your fraternity!
+    I've roll'd this stone too long.
+
+  _Harper_
+    GNAT. Thraso, whene'er you please, approach!
+    THRASO. Pray now,
+  _Colman 1768_
+    GNAT. Thraso, whene'er you please, come forward!
+    THRASO. Well!
+
+  _Harper_
+    But all folks lov'd me dearly.
+    GNAT. Did not I
+    Say he had all the Attic elegance?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    But all folks lov'd me most exceedingly.
+    GNAT. There, did I not assure you, gentlemen,
+    That he had all the Attick Elegance?]
+
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+           *       *       *       *
+
+
+THE SELF-TORMENTOR.
+
+
+PERSONS REPRESENTED.
+
+  PROLOGUE.
+  MENEDEMUS.
+  CHREMES.
+  CLINIA.
+  CLITIPHO.
+  SYRUS.
+  DROMO.
+
+  SOSTRATA.
+  ANTIPHILA.
+  BACCHIS.
+  NURSE.
+  PHRYGIA, _and other servants of BACCHIS._
+
+SCENE, _a Village near ATHENS._
+
+
+
+
+PROLOGUE.
+
+  Lest any of you wonder, why the Bard
+To an old actor hath assign'd the part
+Sustain'd of old by young performers; that
+I'll first explain: then say what brings
+To-day, a whole play, wholly from the Greek,
+We mean to represent:--The Self-Tormentor:
+Wrought from a single to a double plot.
+  Now therefore that our comedy is new,
+And what it is, I've shown: who wrote it too,
+And whose in Greek it is, were I not sure
+Most of you knew already, would I tell.
+But, wherefore I have ta'en this part upon me,
+In brief I will deliver: for the Bard
+Has sent me here as pleader, not as Prologue;
+You he declares his judges, me his counsel:
+And yet as counsel nothing can I speak
+More than the Author teaches me to say,
+Who wrote th' oration which I now recite.
+  As to reports, which envious men have spread,
+That he has ransack'd many Grecian plays,
+While he composes some few Latin ones,
+That he denies not, he has done; nor does
+Repent he did it; means to do it still;
+Safe in the warrant and authority
+Of greater bards, who did long since the same.
+Then for the charge, that his arch-enemy
+Maliciously reproaches him withal,
+That he but lately hath applied himself
+To music, with the genius of his friends,
+Rather than natural talents, fraught; how true,
+Your judgment, your opinion, must decide.
+I would entreat you, therefore, not to lean
+To tales of slander, rather than of candor.
+Be favorable; nurse with growing hopes
+The bards, who give you pleasing novelties;
+_Pleasing_ I say, not such as _His_ I mean,
+Who lately introduc'd a breathless slave,
+Making the crowd give way--But wherefore trace
+A dunce's faults? which shall be shown at large,
+When more he writes, unless he cease to rail.
+  Attend impartially! and let me once
+Without annoyance act an easy part;
+Lest your old servant be o'er-labor'd still
+With toilsome characters, the running slave,
+The eating parasite, enrag'd old man,
+The bold-fac'd sharper, covetous procurer;
+Parts, that ask pow'rs of voice, and iron sides.
+Deign then, for my sake, to accept this plea,
+And grant me some remission from my labor.
+For they, who now produce new comedies,
+Spare not my age! If there is aught laborious,
+They run to me; but if of little weight,
+Away to others. In our piece to-day
+The style is pure: now try my talents then
+In either character. If I for gain,
+Never o'er-rated my abilities;
+If I have held it still my chief reward
+To be subservient to your pleasure; fix
+In me a fair example, that our youth
+May seek to please you, rather than themselves.
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FIRST.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _CHREMES, MENEDEMUS._
+
+CHREM. Though our acquaintance is as yet but young,
+Since you have bought this farm that neighbors mine,
+And little other commerce is betwixt us;
+Yet or your virtue, or good neighborhood,
+(Which is in my opinion kin to friendship,)
+Urge me to tell you, fairly, openly,
+That you appear to me to labor more
+Than your age warrants, or affairs require.
+Now, in the name of heav'n and earth, what is't
+You want? what seek you? Threescore years of age,
+Or older, as I guess; with an estate,
+Better than which, more profitable, none
+In these parts hold; master of many slaves;
+As if you had not one at your command,
+You labor in their offices yourself.
+I ne'er go out so soon at morn, return
+So late at eve, but in your grounds I see you
+Dig, plow, or fetch and carry: in a word,
+You ne'er remit your toil, nor spare yourself.
+This, I am certain, is not done for pleasure.
+--You'll say, perhaps, it vexes you to see
+Your work go on so slowly;--do but give
+The time you spend in laboring yourself
+To set your slaves to work, 'twill profit more.
+
+MENE. Have you such leisure from your own affairs
+To think of those, that don't concern you, Chremes?
+
+CHREM. I am a man, and feel for all mankind.
+Think, I advise, or ask for information:
+If right, that I may do the same; if wrong,
+To turn you from it.
+
+MENE. I have need to do thus.
+Do you as you think fit.
+
+CHREM. Need any man
+Torment himself?
+
+MENE. I need.
+
+CHREM. If there's a cause,
+I'd not oppose it. But what evil's this?
+What is th' offense so grievous to your nature,
+That asks such cruel vengeance on yourself?
+
+MENE. Alas! alas! (_In tears._)
+
+CHREM. Nay, weep not; but inform me.
+Be not reserv'd; fear nothing: prithee, trust me:
+By consolation, counsel, or assistance,
+I possibly may serve you.
+
+MENE. Would you know it?
+
+CHREM. Aye, for the very reason I have mention'd.
+
+MENE. I will inform you.
+
+CHREM. But meanwhile lay down
+Those rakes: don't tire yourself.
+
+MENE. It must not be.
+
+CHREM. What mean you?
+
+MENE. Give me leave: that I may take
+No respite from my toil.
+
+CHREM. I'll not allow it. (_Taking away the rakes._)
+
+MENE. Ah, you do wrong.
+
+CHREM. What, and so heavy too! (_Weighing them in his hand._)
+
+MENE. Such my desert.
+
+CHREM. Now speak. (_Laying down the rakes._)
+
+MENE. One only son
+I have.--_Have_, did I say?--_Had_ I mean, Chremes.
+Have I or no, is now uncertain.
+
+CHREM. Wherefore?
+
+MENE. That you shall know. An old Corinthian woman
+Now sojourns here, a stranger in these parts,
+And very poor. It happen'd, of her daughter
+My son became distractedly enamor'd;----
+E'en to the brink of marriage; and all this
+Unknown to me: which I no sooner learn'd
+Than I began to deal severely with him,
+Not as a young and love-sick mind requir'd,
+But in the rough and usual way of fathers.
+Daily I chid him; crying, "How now, Sir!
+Think you that you shall hold these courses long,
+And I your father living?--Keep a mistress,
+As if she were your wife!--You are deceiv'd,
+If you think that, and do not know me, Clinia.
+While you act worthily, you're mine; if not,
+I shall act toward you worthy of myself.
+All this arises from mere idleness.
+I, at your age, ne'er thought of love; but went
+To seek my fortune in the wars in Asia,
+And there acquir'd in arms both wealth and glory."
+--In short, things came to such a pass, the youth,
+O'ercome with hearing still the self-same thing,
+And wearied out with my reproaches; thinking,
+Age and experience had enabled me
+To judge his interest better than himself,
+Went off to serve the king in Asia, Chremes.
+
+CHREM. How say you?
+
+MENE. Stole away three months ago,
+Without my knowledge.
+
+CHREM. Both have been to blame:
+And yet this enterprise bespeaks a mind,
+Modest and manly.
+
+MENE. Having heard of this
+From some of his familiars, home I came
+Mournful, half-mad, and almost wild with grief.
+I sit me down; my servants run to me;
+Some draw my sandals off; while others haste
+To spread the couches, and prepare the supper:
+Each in his way, I mark, does all he can
+To mitigate my sorrow. Noting this,
+"How," said I to myself, "so many then
+Anxious for me alone? to pleasure me?
+So many slaves to dress me? All this cost
+For me alone?--Meanwhile, my only son,
+For whom all these were fit, as well as me,
+Nay rather more, since he is of an age
+More proper for their use; him, him, poor boy,
+Has my unkindness driven forth to sorrow.
+Oh I were worthy of the heaviest curse,
+Could I brook that!--No; long as he shall lead
+A life of penury abroad, an exile
+Through my unjust severity, so long
+Will I revenge his wrongs upon myself,
+Laboring, scraping, sparing, slaving for him."
+--In short, I did so; in the house I left
+Nor clothes, nor movables: I scrap'd up all.
+My slaves, both male and female, except those
+Who more than earn'd their bread in country-work,
+I sold: Then set my house to sale: In all
+I got together about fifteen talents;
+Purchas'd this farm; and here fatigue myself;
+Thinking I do my son less injury,
+While I'm in misery too; nor is it just
+For me, I think, to taste of pleasure here,
+Till he return in safety to partake on't.
+
+CHREM. You I believe a tender parent, him
+A duteous son, if govern'd prudently.
+But you was unacquainted with his nature,
+And he with yours: sad life, where things are so!
+You ne'er betray'd your tenderness to him;
+Nor durst he place that confidence in you,
+Which well becomes the bosom of a father.
+Had that been done, this had not happen'd to you.
+
+MENE. True, I confess; but I was most in fault.
+
+CHREM. All, Menedemus, will, I hope, be well,
+And trust, your son will soon return in safety.
+
+MENE. Grant it, good Gods!
+
+CHREM. They will. Now, therefore, since
+The Dionysia are held here to-day,
+If 'tis convenient, come, and feast with me.
+
+MENE. Impossible.
+
+CHREM. Why so?--Nay, prithee now,
+Indulge yourself a while: your absent son,
+I'm sure, would have it so.
+
+MENE. It is not meet,
+That I, who drove him forth to misery,
+Should fly it now myself.
+
+CHREM. You are resolv'd?
+
+MENE. Most constantly.
+
+CHREM. Farewell then!
+
+MENE. Fare you well! (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    Now, in the name of heav'n and earth, what is't
+    You want? what seek you? Threescore years of age
+  _Colman 1768_
+    For in the name of heav'n and earth, what would you?
+    What do you drive at? Threescore years of age
+
+  _Harper_
+    I ne'er go out so soon at morn, return
+    So late at eve, but in your grounds I see you
+    Dig, plow, or fetch and carry: in a word,
+  _Colman 1768_
+    I ne'er go out so soon, return so late,
+    Morning or evening, but I see you still
+    At labour on your acres, digging, plowing,
+    Or carrying some burden: in a word,
+
+  _Harper_
+    CHREM. If there's a cause,
+    I'd not oppose it. But what evil's this?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    CHREM. If you're unhappy,
+    I'm sorry for it. But what evil's this?
+
+    I possibly may serve you.
+    _"I" invisible in Harper edition_
+
+    "How," said I to myself, "so many then]
+    _inner quotes supplied from 1768 edition_
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _CHREMES alone._
+
+He draws tears from me.--How I pity him!
+--But 'tis high time, as the day goes, to warn
+My neighbor Phania to come forth to supper.
+I'll go, and see if he's at home.
+    (_Goes to PHANIA'S door, and returns._)
+     There was,
+It seems, no need of warning: for, they tell me,
+He has been gone to my house some time since;
+I keep my guests in waiting; so I'll in.
+But my doors creak. (_CLITIPHO appears._) Who's this? I'll step aside.
+    (_Retires._)
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    He has been gone to my house some time since;
+    I keep my guests in waiting; so I'll in.
+    But my doors creak. Who's this? I'll step aside.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    He went to his appointment some time since.
+    'Tis I myself that keep my guests in waiting.
+    I'll in immediately.--But what's the meaning
+    That my door opens?--Who's this?--I'll retire.]
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Enter CLITIPHO, speaking to CLINIA within._
+
+As yet, my Clinia, you've no cause to fear:
+They are not long: and she, I'm confident,
+Will be here shortly with the messenger.
+Prithee, away then with these idle cares,
+Which thus torment you!
+
+CHREM. (_behind._) Whom does my son speak to?
+
+CLIT. My father as I wish'd--Good Sir, well met.
+
+CHREM. What now?
+
+CLIT. D'ye know our neighbor Menedemus?
+
+CHREM. Aye, very well.
+
+CLIT. D'ye know he has a son?
+
+CHREM. I've heard he is in Asia.
+
+CLIT. No such thing.
+He's at our house, Sir.
+
+CHREM. How!
+
+CLIT. But just arriv'd:
+Ev'n at his landing I fell in with him,
+And brought him here to supper: for, from boys,
+We have been friends and intimates.
+
+CHREM. Good news:
+Now do I wish the more that Menedemus,
+Whom I invited, were my guest to-day,
+That I, and under my own roof, had been
+The first to have surpris'd him with this joy!
+And I may yet. (_Going._)
+
+CLIT. Take heed! it were not good.
+
+CHREM. How so?
+
+CLIT. Because the youth is yet in doubt:
+Newly arriv'd; in fear of ev'ry thing;
+He dreads his father's anger, and suspects
+The disposition of his mistress tow'rds him;
+Her, whom he dotes upon; on whose account,
+This diff'rence and departure came about.
+
+CHREM. I know it.
+
+CLIT. He has just dispatch'd his boy
+Into the city to her, and our Syrus
+I sent along with him.
+
+CHREM. What says the son?
+
+CLIT. Says? that he's miserable.
+
+CHREM. Miserable!
+Who needs be less so? for what earthly good
+Can man possess which he may not enjoy?
+Parents, a prosp'rous country, friends, birth, riches.
+Yet these all take their value from the mind
+Of the possessor: he that knows their use,
+To him they're blessings; he that knows it not,
+To him misuse converts them into curses.
+
+CLIT. Nay, but he ever was a cross old man:
+And now there's nothing that I dread so much,
+As lest he be transported in his rage
+To some gross outrages against his son.
+
+CHREM. He!--He!--But I'll contain myself. 'Tis good
+For Menedemus that his son should fear. (_Aside._)
+
+CLIT. What say you, Sir, within yourself! (_Overhearing._)
+
+CHREM. I say,
+Be't as it might, the son should have remain'd.
+Grant that the father bore too strict a hand
+Upon his loose desires; he should have borne it.
+Whom would he bear withal, if not a parent?
+Was't fitting that the father should conform
+To the son's humor, or the son to his?
+And for the rigor that he murmurs at,
+'Tis nothing: the severities of fathers,
+Unless perchance a hard one here and there,
+Are much the same: they reprimand their sons
+For riotous excesses, wenching, drinking;
+And starve their pleasures by a scant allowance.
+Yet this all tends to good: but when the mind
+Is once enslav'd to vicious appetites,
+It needs must follow vicious measures too.
+Remember then this maxim, Clitipho,
+A wise one 'tis to draw from others' faults
+A profitable lesson for yourself.
+
+CLIT. I do believe it.
+
+CHREM. Well, I'll in, and see
+What is provided for our supper: you,
+As the day wears, see that you're not far hence. (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    That I, and under my own roof, had been
+  _Colman 1768_
+    That I, and under my own roof, might be]
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _CLITIPHO alone._
+
+What partial judges of all sons are fathers!
+Who ask gray wisdom from our greener years,
+And think our minds should bear no touch of youth;
+Governing by their passions, now kill'd in them,
+And not by those that formerly rebell'd.
+If ever I've a son, I promise him
+He shall find me an easy father; fit
+To know, and apt to pardon his offenses!
+Not such as mine, who, speaking of another,
+Shows how he'd act in such a case himself:
+Yet when he takes a cup or two too much,
+Oh, what mad pranks he tells me of his own:
+But warns me now "to draw from others' faults
+A profitable lesson for myself."
+Cunning old gentleman! he little knows,
+He pours his proverbs in a deaf man's ear.
+The words of Bacchis, _Give me, Bring me_, now
+Have greater weight with me: to whose commands,
+Alas! I've nothing to reply withal;
+Nor is there man more wretched than myself.
+For Clinia here (though he, I must confess,
+Has cares enough) has got a mistress, modest,
+Well-bred, and stranger to all harlot arts:
+Mine is a self-will'd, wanton, haughty madam,
+Gay, and extravagant; and let her ask
+Whate'er she will, she must not be denied;
+Since poverty I durst not make my plea.
+This is a plague I have but newly found,
+Nor is my father yet appris'd of it.
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE SECOND.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _Enter CLINIA._
+
+CLIN. Had my affairs in love been prosperous,
+They had, I know, been here long since: but, ah,
+I fear she's fall'n from virtue in my absence:
+So many things concur to prove it so,
+My mind misgives me; opportunity,
+The place, her age, an infamous old mother,
+Under whose governance she lives, to whom
+'Naught but gain's precious.
+
+_To him CLITIPHO._
+
+CLIT. Clinia!
+
+CLIN. Woe is me! (_To himself._)
+
+CLIT. Take heed, lest some one issue from your father's,
+And chance to see you here.
+
+CLIN. I will: but yet
+My mind forebodes I know not what of ill.
+
+CLIT. What, still foreboding, ere you know the truth?
+
+CLIN. Had there been no untoward circumstance,
+They had return'd already
+
+CLIT. Patience, Clinia!
+They'll be here presently.
+
+CLIN. Presently! but when?
+
+CLIT. Consider, 'tis a long way off: and then
+You know the ways of women; to set off,
+And trick their persons out, requires an age.
+
+CLIN. Oh Clitipho, I fear----
+
+CLIT. Take courage; see,
+Dromo and Syrus!
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter SYRUS and DROMO, conversing at a distance._
+
+SYRUS. Say you?
+
+DROMO. Even so.
+
+SYRUS. But while we chat, the girls are left behind.
+
+CLIT. (_listening._) Girls, Clinia! do you hear?
+
+CLIN. I hear, I see,
+And now, at last, I'm happy, Clitipho.
+
+DROMO (_to SYRUS_). Left behind! troth, no wonder: so encumber'd;
+A troop of waiting-women at her heels!
+
+CLIN. (_listening_). Confusion! Whence should she have waiting-women?
+
+CLIT. How can I tell?
+
+SYRUS (_to DROMO_). We ought not to have dropp'd them.
+They bring a world of baggage!
+
+CLIN. (_listening_). Death!
+
+SYRUS. Gold, clothes!
+It grows late too, and they may miss their way.
+We've been to blame: Dromo, run back, and meet them.
+Away! quick! don't loiter.
+  (_Exit DROMO._
+
+CLIN. What a wretch!
+All my fair hopes quite blasted!
+
+CLIT. What's the matter?
+What is it troubles you?
+
+CLIN. What troubles me?
+D'ye hear? She waiting-women, gold, and clothes!
+She, whom I left with one poor servant-girl!
+Whence come they, think you?
+
+CLIT. Oh, I take you now.
+
+SYRUS (_to himself_). Gods, what a crowd! our house will hardly hold
+    them.
+What eating, and what drinking will there be!
+How miserable our old gentleman!
+But here are those I wish'd to see!
+  (_Seeing CLIT. and CLIN._)
+
+CLIN. Oh Jove!
+Where then are truth, and faith, and honor fled?
+While I a fugitive, for love of you,
+Quit my dear country, you, Antiphila,
+For sordid gain desert me in distress!
+You, for whose sake I courted infamy,
+And cast off my obedience to my father.
+He, I remember now with grief and shame,
+Oft warn'd me of these women's ways; oft tried
+In vain by sage advice to wean me from her.
+But now I bid farewell to her forever;
+Though, when 'twere good and wholesome, I was froward.
+No wretch more curs'd than I!
+
+SYRUS. He has misconstrued
+All our discourse, I find--You fancy, Clinia,
+Your mistress other than she is. Her life,
+As far as we from circumstance could learn,
+Her disposition tow'rd you, are the same.
+
+CLIN. How! tell me all: for there is naught on earth
+I'd rather know than that my fears are false.
+
+SYRUS. First then, that you may be appris'd of all,
+Th' old woman, thought her mother, was not so:
+That beldam also is deceas'd; for this
+I overheard her, as we came along,
+Telling the other.
+
+CLIT. Other! who? what other?
+
+SYRUS. Let me but finish what I have begun,
+And I shall come to that.
+
+CLIT. Dispatch then.
+
+SYRUS. First,
+Having arriv'd, Dromo knocks at the door:
+Which an old woman had no sooner open'd,
+But in goes Dromo, and I after him.
+Th' old woman bolts the door, and spins again,
+And now, or never, Clinia, might be known,
+Coming thus unexpectedly upon her,
+Antiphila's employments in your absence:
+For such, as then we saw, we might presume
+Her daily practice, which of all things else,
+Betrays the mind and disposition most.
+Busily plying of the web we found her,
+Decently clad in mourning,--I suppose,
+For the deceas'd old woman.--She had on
+No gold or trinkets, but was plain and neat,
+And dress'd like those who dress but for themselves.
+No female varnish to set off her beauty:
+Her hair dishevel'd, long, and flowing loose
+About her shoulders.--Peace! (_To CLINIA._)
+
+CLIN. Nay, prithee, Syrus,
+Do not transport me thus without a cause.
+
+SYRUS. Th' old woman spun the woof; one servant-girl,
+A tatter'd dirty dowdy, weaving by her.
+
+CLIT. Clinia, if this be true, as sure it is,
+Who is more fortunate than you? D'ye mark
+The ragged dirty girl that he describ'd?
+A sign the mistress leads a blameless life,
+When she maintains no flaunting go-between:
+For 'tis a rule with those gallants, who wish
+To win the mistress, first to bribe the maid.
+
+CLIN. Go on, I beg you, Syrus; and take heed
+You fill me not with idle joy.--What said she
+When you nam'd me?
+
+SYRUS. As soon as we inform'd her
+You was return'd, and begg'd her to come to you,
+She left her work immediately, and burst
+Into a flood of tears, which one might see
+Were shed for love of you.
+
+CLIN. By all the Gods,
+I know not where I am for very joy.
+Oh, how I trembled!
+
+CLIT. Without cause, I knew.
+But come; now, Syrus, tell us, who's that other?
+
+SYRUS. Your mistress, Bacchis.
+
+CLIT. How! what! Bacchis? Tell me,
+Where d'ye bring her, rogue?
+
+SYRUS. Where do I bring her?
+To our house certainly.
+
+CLIT. My father's?
+
+SYRUS. Aye.
+
+CLIT. Oh monstrous impudence!
+
+SYRUS. Consider, Sir;
+More danger, the more honor.
+
+CLIT. Look ye, Sirrah,
+You mean to purchase praise at my expense,
+Where the least slip of yours would ruin me.
+What is't you drive at?
+
+SYRUS. But----
+
+CLIT. But what?
+
+SYRUS. I'll tell you,
+Give me but leave!
+
+CLIN. Permit him.
+
+CLIT. Well, I do.
+
+SYRUS. This business--now--is just as if-- (_Drawling._)
+
+CLIT. Confusion!
+What a long roundabout beginning!
+
+CLIN. True.
+To the point, Syrus!
+
+SYRUS. I've no patience with you.
+You use me ill, Sir, and I can't endure it.
+
+CLIN. Hear him: peace, Clitipho! (_To CLITIPHO._)
+
+SYRUS. You'd be in love;
+Possess your mistress; and have wherewithal
+To make her presents: but to gain all this
+You'd risk no danger. By my troth, you're wise,
+If it be wise to wish for what can't be.
+Take good and bad together; both, or none;
+Choose which you will; no mistress, or no danger.
+And yet, the scheme I've laid is fair and safe;
+Your mistress may be with you at your father's
+Without detection; by the self-same means
+I shall procure the sum you've promis'd her,
+Which you have rung so often in my ears,
+You've almost deafen'd them.--What would you more?
+
+CLIT. If it may be so----
+
+SYRUS. If! the proof shall show.
+
+CLIT. Well, well then, what's this scheme?
+
+SYRUS. We will pretend
+That Bacchis is his mistress.
+
+CLIT. Mighty fine!
+What shall become then of his own? Shall she
+Pass for his too, because one's not enough
+To answer for?
+
+SYRUS. No. She shall to your mother.
+
+CLIT. How so?
+
+SYRUS. 'Twere tedious, Clitipho, to tell:
+Let it suffice, I've reason for it.
+
+CLIT. Nonsense!
+I see no ground to make me hazard this.
+
+SYRUS. Well; if you dread this, I've another way,
+Which you shall both own has no danger in't.
+
+CLIT. Aye, prithee, find that out.
+
+SYRUS. With all my heart.
+I'll run and meet the woman on the road,
+And order them to go straight home again.
+
+CLIT. How! what!
+
+SYRUS. I mean to ease you of your fear,
+That you may sleep in peace on either side. (_Going._)
+
+CLIT. What shall I do?
+
+CLIN. E'en profit of his scheme.
+
+CLIT. But, Syrus, tell me then----
+
+SYRUS. Away, away!
+This day too late you'll wish for her in vain. (_Going._)
+
+CLIN. This is your time: enjoy it, while you may:
+Who knows if you may have the like again?
+
+CLIT. Syrus, I say.
+
+SYRUS. Call as you please, I'll on.
+
+CLIT. Clinia, you're right.--Ho, Syrus! Syrus, ho!
+Syrus, I say.
+
+SYRUS. So, he grows hot at last. (_To himself._)
+What would you, Sir? (_Turning about._)
+
+CLIT. Come back, come back!
+
+SYRUS. I'm here. (_Returns._)
+You're pleasure, Sir!--What, will not this content you?
+
+CLIT. Yes, Syrus; me, my passion, and my fame
+I render up to you: dispose of all;
+But see you're not to blame.
+
+SYRUS. Ridiculous!
+Spare your advice, good Clitipho! you know
+Success is my concern still more than yours:
+For if perchance we fail in our attempt,
+You shall have words; but I, alas! dry blows.
+Be sure then of my diligence; and beg
+Your friend to join, and countenance our scheme.
+
+CLIN. Depend on me: I see it must be so.
+
+CLIT. Thanks, my best Clinia!
+
+CLIN. But take heed she trip not.
+
+SYRUS. Oh, she's well instructed.
+
+CLIT. Still I wonder
+How you prevail'd so easily upon her:
+Her, who's so scornful.
+
+SYRUS. I came just in time,
+Time, that in most affairs is all in all:
+For there I found a certain wretched captain,
+Begging her favors. She, an artful baggage,
+Denied him, to inflame his mind the more,
+And make her court to you.--But hark ye, Sir,
+Be cautious of your conduct! no imprudence!
+You know how shrewd and keen your father is;
+And I know your intemperance too well.
+No double-meanings, glances, leers, sighs, hems,
+Coughing, or titt'ring, I beseech you, Sir!
+
+CLIT. I'll play my part----
+
+SYRUS. Look to't!
+
+CLIT. To your content.
+
+SYRUS. But see, the women! they're soon after us. (_Looking out._)
+
+CLIT. Where are they?-- (_SYRUS stops him._) Why d'ye hold me?
+
+SYRUS. She is not
+Your mistress now.
+
+CLIT. True: not before my father.
+But now, meanwhile----
+
+SYRUS. Nor now, meanwhile,
+
+CLIT. Allow me!
+
+SYRUS. No.
+
+CLIT. But a moment!
+
+SYRUS. No.
+
+CLIT. A single kiss!
+
+SYRUS. Away, if you are wise!
+
+CLIT. Well, well, I'm gone.
+--What's he to do?
+
+SYRUS. Stay here.
+
+CLIT. O happy----
+
+SYRUS. March! (_Pushes off CLITIPHO._)
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    Away! quick! don't loiter.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Away! quick, quick! don't loiter.
+
+  _Harper_
+    CLIT. How! what! Bacchis? Tell me,
+    Where d'ye bring her, rogue?
+    SYRUS. Where do I bring her?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    CLIT. How! what! Bacchis?
+    Where d'ye propose to carry her, rogue?
+    SYRUS. Where?
+
+  _Harper_
+    SYRUS. Oh, she's well instructed.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    SYRUS. Oh, she is well instructed.]
+
+
+SCENE III
+
+  _Enter BACCHIS, and ANTIPHILA at a distance._
+
+BACCH. Well, I commend you, my Antiphila:
+Happy, that you have made it still your care,
+That virtue should seem fair as beauty in you!
+Nor Gracious Heav'n so help me, do I wonder
+If ev'ry man should wish you for his own;
+For your discourse bespeaks a worthy mind.
+And when I ponder with myself, and weigh
+Your course of life, and all the rest of those
+Who live not on the common, 'tis not strange,
+Your morals should be different from ours.
+Virtue's your int'rest; those, with whom we deal,
+Forbid it to be ours: For our gallants,
+Charm'd by our beauty, court us but for that;
+Which fading, they transfer their love to others.
+If then meanwhile we look not to ourselves,
+We live forlorn, deserted, and distress'd.
+You, when you've once agreed to pass your life
+Bound to one man, whose temper suits with yours,
+He too attaches his whole heart to you:
+Thus mutual friendship draws you each to each;
+Nothing can part you, nothing shake your love.
+
+ANTI. I know not others'; for myself I know,
+From his content I ever drew my own.
+
+  {_CLINIA and SYRUS apart._}
+
+CLIN. (_overhearing_). Excellent maid! my best Antiphila!
+Thou too, thy love alone is now the cause
+That brings me to my native land again.
+For when away, all evils else were light
+Compar'd to wanting thee.
+
+SYRUS. I do believe it.
+
+CLIN. O Syrus, 'tis too much: I can not bear it.
+Wretch that I am!--and must I be debarr'd
+To give a loose to love, a love like this?
+
+SYRUS. And yet if I may judge your father's mind,
+He has more troubles yet in store for you.
+
+BACCH. Who is that youth that eyes us? (_Seeing CLINIA._)
+
+ANTI. Ha! (_seeing him._)--Support me!
+
+BACCH. Bless me, what now?
+
+ANTI. I faint.
+
+BACCH. Alas, poor soul!
+What is't surprises you, Antiphila?
+
+ANTI. Is't Clinia that I see, or no?
+
+BACCH. Whom do you see?
+
+CLIN. Welcome my soul! (_Running up to her._)
+
+ANTI. My wish'd-for Clinia, welcome!
+
+CLIN. How fares my love?
+
+ANTI. O'erjoyed at your return.
+
+CLIN. And do I hold thee, my Antiphila,
+Thou only wish and comfort of my soul!
+
+SYRUS. In, in, for you have made our good man wait. (_Exeunt._
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE THIRD.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+CHREM. 'Tis now just daybreak.--Why delay I then
+To call my neighbor forth, and be the first
+To tell him of his son's return?--The youth,
+I understand, would fain not have it so.
+But shall I, when I see this poor old man
+Afflict himself so grievously, by silence
+Rob him of such an unexpected joy,
+When the discov'ry can not hurt the son?
+No, I'll not do't; but far as in my pow'r
+Assist the father. As my son, I see,
+Ministers to th' occasions of his friend,
+Associated in counsels, rank, and age,
+So we old men should serve each other too.
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter MENEDEMUS._
+
+MENE. (_to himself_). Sure I'm by nature form'd for misery
+Beyond the rest of humankind, or else
+'Tis a false saying, though a common one,
+"That time assuages grief." For ev'ry day
+My sorrow for the absence of my son
+Grows on my mind: the longer he's away,
+The more impatiently I wish to see him,
+The more pine after him.
+
+CHREM. But he's come forth. (_Seeing MENEDEMUS._)
+Yonder he stands. I'll go and speak with him.
+Good-morrow, neighbor! I have news for you;
+Such news as you'll be overjoy'd to hear.
+
+MENE. Of my son, Chremes?
+
+CHREM. He's alive and well.
+
+MENE. Where?
+
+CHREM. At my house.
+
+MENE. My son?
+
+CHREM. Your son.
+
+MENE. Come home?
+
+CHREM. Come home.
+
+MENE. My dear boy come? my Clinia?
+
+CHREM. He.
+
+MENE. Away then! prithee, bring me to him.
+
+CHREM. Hold!
+He cares not you should know of his return,
+And dreads your sight because of his late trespass.
+He fears, besides, your old severity
+Is now augmented.
+
+MENE. Did not you inform him
+The bent of my affections?
+
+CHREM. Not I.
+
+MENE. Wherefore, Chremes?
+
+CHREM. Because 'twould injure both yourself and him
+To seem of such a poor and broken spirit.
+
+MENE. I can not help it. Too long, much too long,
+I've been a cruel father.
+
+CHREM. Ah, my friend,
+You run into extremes; too niggardly,
+Or, too profuse; imprudent either way.
+First, rather than permit him entertain
+A mistress, who was then content with little,
+And glad of any thing, you drove him hence:
+Whereon the girl was forc'd against her will,
+To grow a common gamester for her bread:
+And now she can't be kept without much cost,
+You'd squander thousands. For to let you know
+How admirably madam's train'd to mischief,
+How finely form'd to ruin her admirers,
+She came to my house yesternight with more
+Than half a score of women at her tail,
+Laden with clothes and jewels.--If she had
+A Prince to her gallant, he could not bear
+Such wild extravagance: much less can you.
+
+MENE. Is she within too?
+
+CHREM. She within! Aye, truly.
+I've found it to my cost: for I have given
+To her and her companions but one supper;
+And to give such another would undo me.
+For, not to dwell on other circumstances,
+Merely to taste, and smack, and spirt about.
+What quantities of wine has she consum'd!
+_This is too rough_, she cries; _some softer, pray!_
+I have pierc'd every vessel, ev'ry cask;
+Kept ev'ry servant running to and fro:
+All this ado, and all in one short night!
+What, Menedemus, must become of you,
+Whom they will prey upon continually?
+Now, afore Heaven, thinking upon this,
+I pitied you.
+
+MENE. Why let him have his will;
+Waste, consume, squander; I'll endure it all,
+So I but have him with me.
+
+CHREM. If resolv'd
+To take that course, I hold it of great moment
+That he perceive not you allow of this.
+
+MENE. What shall I do then?
+
+CHREM. Any thing much rather
+Than what you mean to do: at second-hand
+Supply him; or permit his slave to trick you;
+Though I perceive they're on that scent already,
+And privately contriving how to do't.
+There's Syrus, and that little slave of yours
+In an eternal whisper: the young men
+Consulting too together: and it were
+Better to lose a talent by these means,
+Than on your plan a mina: for at present
+Money is not the question, but the means
+To gratify the youth the safest way.
+For if he once perceives your turn of mind,
+And that you'd rather hazard life, and wealth,
+Than part from him; ah, Menedemus, what
+A window to debauchery you'll open!
+Nay, life itself will grow a burden to you;
+For too much liberty corrupts us all.
+Whatever comes into his head, he'll have;
+Nor think if his demand be right or wrong.
+You, on your part, to see your wealth and son
+Both wreck'd, will not be able to endure.
+You'll not comply with his demands; whereon
+He falls to his old fence immediately,
+And knowing where your weak part lies, will threaten
+To leave you instantly.
+
+MENE. 'Tis very like.
+
+CHREM. Now on my life I have not clos'd my eyes,
+Nor had a single wink of sleep this night,
+For thinking how I might restore your son.
+
+MENE. Give me your hand: and let me beg you, Chremes,
+Continue to assist me!
+
+CHREM. Willingly.
+
+MENE. D'ye know what I would have you do at present?
+
+CHREM. What?
+
+MENE. Since you have found out they meditate
+Some practice on me, prithee, urge them on
+To execute it quickly: for I long
+To grant his wishes, long to see him straight.
+
+CHREM. Let me alone. I must lay hold of Syrus,
+And give him some encouragement.--But see!
+Some one, I know not who, comes forth: In, in,
+Lest they perceive that we consult together!
+I have a little business too in hand.
+Simus and Crito, our two neighbors here,
+Have a dispute about their boundaries;
+And they've referr'd it to my arbitration,
+I'll go and tell them, 'tis not in my power
+To wait on them, as I propos'd to-day.
+I will be with you presently.
+
+MENE. Pray do. (_Exit CHREMES._
+Gods! that the nature of mankind is such,
+To see and judge of the affairs of others
+Much better than their own! Is't therefore so,
+Because that, in our own concerns, we feel
+Too much the influence of joy or sorrow?
+How much more wisely does my neighbor here,
+Consult for me, than I do for myself!
+
+CHREM. (_returning._) I've disengag'd myself! that I might be
+At leisure to attend on your affairs. (_Exit MENEDEMUS._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    So I but have him with me.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    So I but keep him with me.
+
+  _Harper_
+    And that you'd rather hazard life, and wealth,
+    Than part from him; ah, Menedemus, what
+    A window to debauchery you'll open!
+    Nay, life itself will grow a burden to you;
+  _Colman 1768_
+    That you had rather throw away your life,
+    And waste your whole estate, than part with him,
+    Ah, what a window to debauchery
+    You'll open, Menedemus! Such a one,
+    As will embitter even life itself;
+
+  _Harper_
+    Too much the influence of joy or sorrow?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    The influence of joy or grief too nearly?]
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Enter SYRUS at another part of the stage._
+
+SYRUS (_to himself._) This way, or that way, or some way or other!
+For money must be had, and th' old man trick'd.
+
+CHREM. (_overbearing._) Was I deceiv'd in thinking they were at it?
+That slave of Clinia's, it should seem, is dull,
+And so our Syrus has the part assign'd him.
+
+SYRUS. Who's there (_seeing CHREMES_). Undone if he has overheard me.
+    (_Aside._)
+
+CHREM. Syrus.
+
+SYRUS. Sir!
+
+CHREM. What now?
+
+SYRUS. Nothing.--But I wonder
+To see you up so early in the morning,
+Who drank so freely yesterday.
+
+CHREM. Not much.
+
+SYRUS. Not much? You have, Sir, as the proverb goes,
+The old age of an eagle.
+
+CHREM. Ah!
+
+SYRUS. A pleasant,
+Good sort of girl, this wench of Clinia's.
+
+CHREM. Aye, so she seems.
+
+SYRUS. And handsome.
+
+CHREM. Well enough.
+
+SYRUS. Not like the maids of old, but passable,
+As girls go now: nor am I much amaz'd
+That Clinia dotes upon her. But he has,
+Alas, poor lad! a miserable, close,
+Dry, covetous, curmudgeon to his father:
+Our neighbor here; d'ye know him?--Yet, as if
+He did not roll in riches, his poor son
+Was forc'd to run away for very want.
+D'ye know this story?
+
+CHREM. Do I know it? Aye.
+A scoundrel! should be horse-whipp'd.
+
+SYRUS. Who?
+
+CHREM. That slave
+Of Clinia's----
+
+SYRUS. Troth, I trembled for you, Syrus! (_Aside._)
+
+CHREM. Who suffer'd this.
+
+SYRUS. Why what should he have done?
+
+CHREM. What?--have devis'd expedients, contriv'd schemes,
+To raise the cash for the young gentleman
+To make his mistress presents; and have done
+A kindness to th' old hunks against his will.
+
+SYRUS. You jest.
+
+CHREM. Not I: it was his duty, Syrus.
+
+SYRUS. How's this? why prithee then, d'ye praise those slaves,
+Who trick their masters?
+
+CHREM. Yes upon occasion.
+
+SYRUS. Mighty fine, truly!
+
+CHREM. Why, it oft prevents
+A great deal of uneasiness: for instance,
+This Clinia, Menedemus' only son,
+Would never have elop'd.
+
+SYRUS. I can not tell
+Whether he says all this in jest or earnest;
+But it gives fresh encouragement to me. (_Aside._)
+
+CHREM. And now what is't the blockhead waits for, Syrus?
+Is't till his master runs away again,
+When he perceives himself no longer able
+To bear with the expenses of his mistress?
+Has he no plot upon th' old gentleman?
+
+SYRUS. He's a poor creature.
+
+CHREM. But it is your part,
+For Clinia's sake, to lend a helping hand.
+
+SYRUS. Why, that indeed I easily can do,
+If you command me; for I know which way.
+
+CHREM. I take you at your word.
+
+SYRUS. I'll make it good.
+
+CHREM. Do so.
+
+SYRUS. But hark ye, Sir! remember this,
+If ever it hereafter comes to pass,
+--As who can answer for th' affairs of men!
+That your own son----
+
+CHREM. I hope 'twill never be.
+
+SYRUS. I hope so too; nor do I mention this
+From any knowledge or suspicion of him:
+But that in case--his time of life, you know;
+And should there be occasion, trust me, Chremes,
+But I could handle you most handsomely.
+
+CHREM. Well, well, we'll think of it, when that time comes.
+Now to your present task! (_Exit CHREMES._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    SYRUS. This way, or that way, or some way or other!
+    For money must be had, and th' old man trick'd.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    SYRUS. One way, or other, money must be had,
+    And the old gentleman impos'd upon.
+
+  _Harper_
+    CHREM. What?--have devis'd expedients, contriv'd schemes,
+  _Colman 1768_
+    CHREM. What?--have devis'd some scheme, some ways and means
+
+  _Harper_
+    This Clinia, Menedemus' only son,
+    Would never have elop'd.
+    SYRUS. I can not tell
+    Whether he says all this in jest or earnest;
+    But it gives fresh encouragement to me.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    My neighbour Menedemus, well deceiv'd,
+    Would ne'er have seen his son abandon him.
+    SYRUS. I don't know whether he's in jest or earnest,
+    But it gives me encouragement to trick him.
+
+    Now to your present task!
+  _initial "N" invisible in Harper edition_]
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _SYRUS alone._
+
+I never heard
+My master argue more commodiously;
+Nor ever had a mind to mischief, when
+It might be done with more impunity.
+But who's this coming from our house?
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    Nor ever had a mind to mischief, when
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Nor ever was inclin'd to mischief, when]
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _Enter CLITIPHO, and CHREMES following._
+
+CHREM. How now?
+What manners are these, Clitipho? does this
+Become you?
+
+CLIT. What's the matter?
+
+CHREM. Did not I
+This very instant see you put your hand
+Into yon wench's bosom?
+
+SYRUS. So! all's over:
+I am undone. (_Aside._)
+
+CLIT. Me, Sir?
+
+CHREM. These very eyes
+Beheld you: don't deny it.--'Tis base in you
+To be so flippant with your hands. For what
+Affront's more gross than to receive a friend
+Under your roof, and tamper with his mistress?
+And, last night in your cups too, how indecent
+And rudely you behav'd!
+
+SYRUS. 'Tis very true.
+
+CHREM. So very troublesome, so help me Heav'n,
+I fear'd the consequence. I know the ways
+Of lovers: they oft take offense at things
+You dream not of.
+
+CLIT. But my companion, Sir,
+Is confident I would not wrong him.
+
+CHREM. Granted.
+Yet you should cease to hang forever on them.
+Withdraw, and leave them sometimes to themselves.
+Love has a thousand sallies; you restrain them.
+I can conjecture from myself. There's none,
+How near soever, Clitipho, to whom
+I dare lay open all my weaknesses.
+With one my pride forbids it, with another
+The very action shames me: and believe me,
+It is the same with him; and 'tis our place
+To mark on what occasions to indulge him.
+
+SYRUS. What says he now? (_Aside._)
+
+CLIT. Confusion!
+
+SYRUS. Clitipho,
+These are the very precepts that I gave you:
+And how discreet and temperate you've been!
+
+CLIT. Prithee, peace!
+
+SYRUS. Aye, I warrant you.
+
+CHREM. Oh, Syrus,
+I'm quite asham'd of him.
+
+SYRUS. I do not doubt it.
+Nor without reason; for it troubles me.
+
+CLIT. Still, rascal!
+
+SYRUS. Nay, I do but speak the truth.
+
+CLIT. May I not then go near them?
+
+CHREM. Prithee, then,
+Is there _one_ way alone of going near them?
+
+SYRUS. Confusion! he'll betray himself before
+I get the money. (_Aside._)--Chremes, will you once
+Hear a fool's counsel?
+
+CHREM. What do you advise?
+
+SYRUS. Order your son about his business.
+
+CLIT. Whither?
+
+SYRUS. Whither! where'er you please. Give place to them.
+Go take a walk.
+
+CLIT. Walk! where?
+
+SYRUS. A pretty question!
+This, that, or any way.
+
+CHREM. He says right. Go!
+
+CLIT. Now, plague upon you, Syrus! (_Going._)
+
+SYRUS (_to CLITIPHO, going_). Henceforth, learn
+To keep those hands of yours at rest. (_Exit CLITIPHO._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+    CLIT. Still, rascal!
+  _1768 edition has question mark_]
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _CHREMES, SYRUS._
+
+D'ye mind?
+What think you, Chremes, will become of him,
+Unless you do your utmost to preserve,
+Correct, and counsel him?
+
+CHREM. I'll take due care.
+
+SYRUS. But now's your time, Sir, to look after him.
+
+CHREM. It shall be done.
+
+SYRUS. It must be, if you're wise:
+For ev'ry day he minds me less and less.
+
+CHREM. But, Syrus, say, what progress have you made
+In that affair I just now mention'd to you?
+Have you struck out a scheme that pleases you?
+Or are you still to seek?
+
+SYRUS. The plot, you mean,
+On Menedemus. I've just hit on one.
+
+CHREM. Good fellow! prithee now, what is't?
+
+SYRUS. I'll tell you.
+But as one thing brings in another----
+
+CHREM. Well?
+
+SYRUS. This Bacchis is a sad jade.
+
+CHREM. So it seems.
+
+SYRUS. Aye, Sir, if you knew all; nay, even now
+She's hatching mischief.--Dwelling hereabouts,
+There was of late an old Corinthian woman,
+To whom this Bacchis lent a thousand pieces.
+
+CHREM. What then?
+
+SYRUS. The woman's dead; and left behind
+A daughter, very young, whom she bequeath'd,
+By way of pledge, to Bacchis for the money.
+
+CHREM. I understand.
+
+SYRUS. This girl came here with Bacchis,
+And now is with your wife.
+
+CHREM. What then?
+
+SYRUS. She begs
+Of Clinia to advance the cash; for which
+She'll give the girl as an equivalent.
+She wants the thousand pieces.
+
+CHREM. Does she so?
+
+SYRUS. No doubt on't.
+
+CHREM. So I thought.--And what do you
+Intend to do?
+
+SYRUS. Who? I, Sir? I'll away
+To Menedemus presently; and tell him
+This maiden is a rich and noble captive,
+Stolen from Caria; and to ransom her
+Will greatly profit him.
+
+CHREM. 'Twill never do.
+
+SYRUS. How so?
+
+CHREM. I answer now for Menedemus.
+_I will not purchase her._ What say you now?
+
+SYRUS. Give a more favorable answer!
+
+CHREM. No,
+There's no occasion.
+
+SYRUS. No occasion?
+
+CHREM. No.
+
+SYRUS. I can not comprehend you.
+
+CHREM. I'll explain.
+--But hold! what now? whence comes it that our door
+Opens so hastily?
+
+  [Changes:
+
+    _CHREMES, SYRUS._
+  _character names supplied from 1768 edition_]
+
+
+SCENE VII.
+
+  _Enter at a distance SOSTRATA with a ring, and the NURSE._
+
+SOSTRA. Or I'm deceiv'd,
+Or this is certainly the very ring;
+The ring with which my daughter was expos'd.
+
+CHREM. (_to SYRUS, behind_). What can those words mean, Syrus?
+
+SOSTRA. Tell me, Nurse!
+Does it appear to you to be the same?
+
+NURSE. Aye, marry: and the very moment that
+You show'd it me, I said it was the same.
+
+SOSTRA. But have you thoroughly examin'd, Nurse?
+
+NURSE. Aye, thoroughly.
+
+SOSTRA. In then, and let me know
+If she has yet done bathing; and meanwhile
+I'll wait my husband here. (_Exit NURSE._
+
+SYRUS. She wants you, Sir! inquire
+What she would have. She's grave, I know not why.
+'Tis not for nothing; and I fear the cause.
+
+CHREM. The cause? pshaw! nothing. She'll take mighty pains
+To be deliver'd of some mighty trifle.
+
+SOSTRA. (_seeing them_). Oh husband!
+
+CHREM. Oh wife!
+
+SOSTRA. I was looking for you,
+
+CHREM. Your pleasure?
+
+SOSTRA. First, I must entreat you then,
+Believe, I would not dare do any thing
+Against your order.
+
+CHREM. What! must I believe
+A thing past all belief?--I do believe it.
+
+SYRUS. This exculpation bodes some fault, I'm sure. (_Aside._)
+
+SOSTRA. Do you remember, I was pregnant once,
+When you assur'd me with much earnestness,
+That if I were deliver'd of a girl,
+You would not have the child brought up?
+
+CHREM. I know
+What you have done. You have brought up the child.
+
+SYRUS. Madam, if so, my master gains a loss.
+
+SOSTRA. No, I have not: but there was at that time
+An old Corinthian woman dwelling here,
+To whom I gave the child to be expos'd.
+
+CHREM. O Jupiter! was ever such a fool!
+
+SOSTRA. Ah, what have I committed?
+
+CHREM. What committed!
+
+SOSTRA. If I've offended, Chremes, 'tis a crime
+Of ignorance, and nothing of my purpose.
+
+CHREM. Own it or not, I know it well enough,
+That ignorantly, and imprudently,
+You do and say all things; how many faults
+In this one action are you guilty of!
+For first, had you complied with my commands,
+The girl had been dispatch'd; and not her death
+Pretended, and hopes given of her life.
+But that I do not dwell upon: You'll cry,
+"--Pity,--a mother's fondness."--I allow it.
+But then how rarely you provided for her!
+What could you mean? consider!--for 'tis plain,
+You have betray'd your child to that old beldam,
+Either for prostitution, or for sale.
+So she but liv'd, it was enough, you thought:
+No matter how, or what vile life she led.
+--What can one do, or how proceed, with those,
+Who know of neither reason, right, nor justice?
+Better or worse, for or against, they see
+Nothing but what they list.
+
+SOSTRA. My dearest Chremes,
+I own I have offended: I'm convinc'd.
+But since you're more experienc'd than myself,
+I pray you be the more indulgent too,
+And let my weakness shelter in your justice.
+
+CHREM. Well, well, I pardon you: but, Sostrata,
+Forgiving you thus easily, I do
+But teach you to offend again. But come,
+Say, wherefore you began this?
+
+SOSTRA. As we women
+Are generally weak and superstitious,
+When first to this Corinthian old woman
+I gave the little infant, from my finger
+I drew a ring, and charg'd her to expose
+That with my daughter: that if chance she died,
+She might have part of our possessions with her.
+
+CHREM. 'Twas right: you thus preserv'd yourself and her.
+
+SOSTRA. This is that ring.
+
+CHREM. Where had it you?
+
+SOSTRA. The girl
+That Bacchis brought with her----
+
+SYRUS. Ha! (_Aside._)
+
+CHREM. What says she?
+
+SOSTRA. Desir'd I'd keep it while she went to bathe.
+I took no notice on't, at first; but I
+No sooner look'd on't than I knew't again,
+And straight ran out to you.
+
+CHREM. And what d'ye think,
+Or know concerning her?
+
+SOSTRA. I can not tell,
+Till you inquire it of herself, and find,
+If possible, from whence she had the ring.
+
+SYRUS. Undone! I see more hope than I desire.
+She's ours, if this be so. (_Aside._)
+
+CHREM. Is she alive
+To whom you gave the child?
+
+SOSTRA. I do not know.
+
+CHREM. What did she tell you formerly?
+
+SOSTRA. That she
+Had done what I commanded her.
+
+CHREM. Her name;
+That we may make inquiry.
+
+SOSTRA. Philtere.
+
+SYRUS. The very same! she's found, and I am lost. (_Aside._)
+
+CHREM. In with me, Sostrata!
+
+SOSTRA. Beyond my hopes.
+How much I fear'd you should continue still
+So rigidly inclin'd, as formerly,
+When you refus'd to educate her, Chremes!
+
+CHREM. Men can not always be as they desire,
+But must be govern'd by their fortunes still.
+The times are alter'd with me, and I wish
+To have a daughter now; then, nothing less.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    SYRUS. She wants you, Sir! inquire
+    What she would have. She's grave, I know not why.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    SYRUS. She wants you, Sir!
+    Enquire, what she would have. She's very grave.]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FOURTH.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _SYRUS, alone._
+
+My mind misgives me, my defeat is nigh,
+This unexpected incident has driven
+My forces into such a narrow pass,
+I can not even handsomely retreat
+Without some feint, to hinder our old man
+From seeing that this wench is Clitipho's.
+As for the money, and the trick I dream'd of,
+Those hopes are flown, and I shall hold it triumph,
+So I but 'scape a scouring--Cursed fortune,
+To have so delicate a morsel snatch'd
+Out of my very jaws!--What shall I do?
+What new device? for I must change my plan.
+--Nothing so difficult, but may be won
+By industry.--Suppose, I try it thus. (_Thinking._)
+--'Twill never do.--Or thus?--No better still.
+But thus I think.--No, no.--Yes, excellent!
+Courage! I have it.--Good!--Good!--best of all!----
+--'Faith, I begin to hope to lay fast hold
+Of that same slipp'ry money after all.
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter CLINIA at another part of the stage._
+
+CLIN. Henceforward, fate, do with me what thou wilt!
+Such is my joy, so full and absolute,
+I can not know vexation. From this hour
+To you, my father, I resign myself,
+Content to be more frugal than you wish!
+
+SYRUS (_overhearing_). 'Tis just as I suppos'd. The girl's acknowledged;
+His raptures speak it so.-- (_Going up._) I'm overjoyed
+That things have happen'd to your wish.
+
+CLIN. O Syrus!
+Have you then heard it too?
+
+SYRUS. I heard it? Aye:
+I, who was present at the very time!
+
+CLIN. Was ever any thing so lucky?
+
+SYRUS. Nothing.
+
+CLIN. Now, Heav'n so help me, I rejoice at this
+On her account much rather than my own,
+Her, whom I know worthy the highest honors.
+
+SYRUS. No doubt on't.--But now, Clinia, hold a while!
+Give me a moment's hearing in my turn.
+For your friend's business must be thought of now,
+And well secur'd, lest our old gentleman
+Suspect about the wench.
+
+CLIN. O Jupiter! (_In raptures._)
+
+SYRUS. Peace! (_Impatiently._)
+
+CLIN. My Antiphila shall be my wife.
+
+SYRUS. And will you interrupt me?
+
+CLIN. Oh, my Syrus,
+What can I do! I'm overjoy'd. Bear with me.
+
+SYRUS. Troth so I do.
+
+CLIN. We're happy, as the Gods.
+
+SYRUS. I lose my labor on you.
+
+CLIN. Speak; I hear.
+
+SYRUS. Aye, but you don't attend.
+
+CLIN. I'm all attention.
+
+SYRUS. I say then, Clinia, that your friend's affairs
+Must be attended to, and well secur'd:
+For if you now depart abruptly from us,
+And leave the wench upon our hands, my master
+Will instantly discover she belongs
+To Clitipho. But if you take her off,
+It will remain, as still it is, a secret.
+
+CLIN. But, Syrus, this is flatly opposite
+To what I most devoutly wish, my marriage,
+For with what face shall I accost my father?
+D'ye understand me?
+
+SYRUS. Aye.
+
+CLIN. What can I say?
+What reason can I give him?
+
+SYRUS. Tell no lie.
+Speak the plain truth.
+
+CLIN. How?
+
+SYRUS. Every syllable.
+Tell him your passion for Antiphila;
+Tell him you wish to marry her, and tell him,
+Bacchis belongs to Clitipho.
+
+CLIN. 'Tis well,
+In reason, and may easily be done:
+And then besides you'd have me win my father,
+To keep it hid from your old gentleman.
+
+SYRUS. No; rather to prevail on him, to go
+And tell him the whole truth immediately.
+
+CLIN. How? are you mad? or drunk? You'll be the ruin
+Of Clitipho: for how can he be safe?
+Eh, Sirrah!
+
+SYRUS. That's my master-piece: this plot
+Is my chief glory, and I'm proud to think
+I have such force, such power of cunning in me,
+As to be able to deceive them both,
+By speaking the plain truth: that when your father
+Tells Chremes, Bacchis is his own son's mistress,
+He sha'n't believe it.
+
+CLIN. But that way again
+You blast my hopes of marriage: for while Chremes
+Supposes her my mistress, he'll not grant
+His daughter to me. You, perhaps, don't care,
+So you provide for him, what comes of me.
+
+SYRUS. Why, plague! d'ye think I'd have you counterfeit
+Forever? but a day, to give me time
+To bubble Chremes of the money.--Peace!
+Not an hour more.
+
+CLIN. Is that sufficient for you?
+But then, suppose his father find it out!
+
+SYRUS. Suppose, as some folks say, the sky should fall!
+
+CLIN. Still I'm afraid.
+
+SYRUS. Afraid indeed, as if
+It was not in your pow'r, whene'er you pleas'd,
+To clear yourself, and tell the whole affair.
+
+CLIN. Well, well, let Bacchis be brought over then!
+
+SYRUS. Well said; and here she comes.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    SYRUS. I heard it? Aye:
+  _Colman 1768_
+    SYRUS. Undoubtedly.]
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Enter BACCHIS, PHRYGIA, etc., at another part of the stage._
+
+BACCH. Upon my life,
+This Syrus with his golden promises
+Has fool'd me hither charmingly! Ten minae
+He gave me full assurance of: but if
+He now deceives me, come whene'er he will,
+Canting and fawning to allure me hither,
+It shall be all in vain; I will not stir.
+Or when I have agreed, and fix'd a time,
+Of which he shall have giv'n his master notice,
+And Clitipho is all agog with hope,
+I'll fairly jilt them both, and not come near them;
+And master Syrus' back shall smart for it.
+
+CLIN. She promises you very fair.
+
+SYRUS. D'ye think
+She jests? She'll do it, if I don't take heed.
+
+BACCH. They sleep: i' faith, I'll rouse them. Hark ye, Phrygia,
+Didst note the villa of Charinus, which
+That fellow just now show'd us? (_Aloud._)
+
+PHRY. I did, Madam.
+
+BACCH. The next house on the right hand. (_Aloud._)
+
+PHRY. I remember.
+
+BACCH. Run thither quickly: for the Captain spends
+The Dionysia there. (_Aloud._)
+
+SYRUS (_behind_). What means she now?
+
+BACCH. Tell him I'm here; and sore against my will,
+Detain'd by force; but that I'll find some means
+To slip away and come to him. (_Aloud._)
+
+SYRUS. Confusion!-- (_Comes forward._)
+Stay, Bacchis, Bacchis! where d'ye send that girl?
+Bid her stop!
+
+BACCH. Go! (_To PHRYGIA._)
+
+SYRUS. The money's ready.
+
+BACCH. Then
+I stay. (_PHRYGIA returns._)
+
+SYRUS. This instant you shall have it, Bacchis.
+
+BACCH. When you please; I don't press you.
+
+SYRUS. But d'ye know
+What you're to do?
+
+BACCH. Why, what?
+
+SYRUS. You must go over,
+You and your equipage, to Menedemus.
+
+BACCH. What are you at now, sauce-box?
+
+SYRUS. Coining money
+For your use, Bacchis.
+
+BACCH. Do you think to play
+Your jests on me?
+
+SYRUS. No; this is downright earnest.
+
+BACCH. Are you the person I'm to deal with?
+
+SYRUS. No.
+But there I'll pay the money.
+
+BACCH. Let us go then!
+
+SYRUS. Follow her there.----Ho, Dromo!
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    Didst note the villa of Charinus, which
+    That fellow just now show'd us?
+    PHRY. I did, Madam.
+    BACCH. The next house on the right hand.
+    PHRY. I remember.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Did you observe the villa of Charinus,
+    Which yonder fellow shew'd us?
+    PHRY. I did, Madam.
+    BACCH. The next upon the right.
+    PHRY. I recollect.
+
+  _Harper_
+    Detain'd by force; but that I'll find some means
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Detain'd by force; but I'll devise some means
+
+  _Harper_
+    SYRUS. The money's ready.
+    BACCH. Then
+    I stay.
+    SYRUS. This instant you shall have it, Bacchis.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    SYRUS. The money's ready for you
+    BACCH. Oh! then I stay.
+    SYRUS. You shall be paid directly.
+
+  _Harper_
+    But there I'll pay the money.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    But 'twill secure your money.]
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Enter DROMO._
+
+DROMO. Who calls?
+
+SYRUS. Syrus.
+
+DROMO. Your pleasure! What's the matter now?
+
+SYRUS. Conduct
+All Bacchis' maids to your house instantly.
+
+DROMO. Why so?
+
+SYRUS. No questions: let them carry over
+All they brought hither. Our old gentleman
+Will think himself reliev'd from much expense
+By their departure. Troth, he little knows
+With how much loss this small gain threatens him.
+If you're wise, Dromo, know not what you know.
+
+DROMO. I'm dumb.
+
+  (_Exit DROMO, with BACCHIS' servants and baggage, into the house of
+  MENEDEMUS._
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _After which, enter CHREMES._
+
+CHREM. (_to himself_). 'Fore Heav'n, I pity Menedemus.
+His case is lamentable: to maintain
+That jade and all her harlot family!
+Although I know for some few days to come
+He will not feel it; so exceedingly
+He long'd to have his son: but when he sees
+Such monstrous household riot and expense
+Continue daily, without end or measure,
+He'll wish his son away from him again.
+But yonder's Syrus in good time. (_Seeing SYRUS._)
+
+SYRUS. I'll to him. (_Aside._)
+
+CHREM. Syrus!
+
+SYRUS. Who's there? (_Turning about._)
+
+CHREM. What now?
+
+SYRUS. The very man!
+I have been wishing for you this long time.
+
+CHREM. You seem to've been at work with the old man.
+
+SYRUS. What! at our plot? No sooner said than done.
+
+CHREM. Indeed!
+
+SYRUS. Indeed.
+
+CHREM. I can't forbear to stroke
+Your head for it. Good lad! come nearer, Syrus!
+I'll do thee some good turn for this. I will,
+I promise you. (_Patting his head._)
+
+SYRUS. Ah, if you did but know
+How luckily it came into my head!
+
+CHREM. Pshaw, are you vain of your good luck?
+
+SYRUS. Not I.
+I speak the plain truth.
+
+CHREM. Let me know it then.
+
+SYRUS. Clinia has told his father that the wench
+Is mistress to your Clitipho; and that
+He brought her with him hither, to prevent
+Your smoking it.
+
+CHREM. Incomparable!
+
+SYRUS. Really?
+
+CHREM. O, admirable!
+
+SYRUS. Aye, if you knew all.
+But only hear the rest of our advice.
+He'll tell his father he has seen your daughter,
+Whose beauty has so charm'd him at first sight,
+He longs to marry her.
+
+CHREM. Antiphila?
+
+SYRUS. The same: and he'll request him to demand her
+Of you in marriage.
+
+CHREM. To what purpose, Syrus?
+I don't conceive the drift on't.
+
+SYRUS. No! you're slow.
+
+CHREM. Perhaps so.
+
+SYRUS. Menedemus instantly
+Will furnish him with money for the wedding,
+To buy----d'ye take me?
+
+CHREM. Clothes and jewels.
+
+SYRUS. Aye.
+
+CHREM. But I will neither marry, nor betroth
+My daughter to him.
+
+SYRUS. No? Why?
+
+CHREM. Why!--is that
+A question? to a wretch!----
+
+SYRUS. Well, as you please.
+I never meant that he should marry her,
+But only to pretend----
+
+CHREM. I hate pretense.
+Plot as you please, but do not render me
+An engine in your rogueries. Shall I
+Contract my daughter, where I never can
+Consent to marry her?
+
+SYRUS. I fancied so.
+
+CHREM. Not I.
+
+SYRUS. It might be done most dextrously:
+And, in obedience to your strict commands,
+I undertook this business.
+
+CHREM. I believe it.
+
+SYRUS. However, Sir, I meant it well.
+
+CHREM. Nay, nay,
+Do't by all means, and spare no trouble in't;
+But bring your scheme to bear some other way.
+
+SYRUS. It shall be done: I'll think upon some other.
+--But then the money which I mention'd to you,
+Owing to Bacchis by Antiphila,
+Must be repaid her: and you will not now
+Attempt to shift the matter off; or say,
+"--What is't to me? was I the borrower?
+Did I command it? Could she pledge my daughter
+Against my will?"----You can say none of this;
+For 'tis a common saying, and a true,
+That strictest law is oft the highest wrong.
+
+CHREM. I mean not to evade it.
+
+SYRUS. No, I'll warrant.
+Nay you, though others did, could never think on't;
+For all the world imagines you've acquir'd
+A fair and handsome fortune.
+
+CHREM. I will carry
+The money to her instantly myself.
+
+SYRUS. No; rather send it by your son.
+
+CHREM. Why so!
+
+SYRUS. Because he acts the part of her gallant.
+
+CHREM. What then?
+
+SYRUS. Why then 'twill seem more probable,
+If he presents it: I too shall effect
+My scheme more easily.--And here he is.----
+In, Sir, and fetch the money out.
+
+CHREM. I will. (_Exit CHREMES._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    _After which, enter CHREMES._
+  _Colman 1768_
+    _Enter CHREMES._
+
+  _Harper_
+    CHREM. You seem to've been at work with the old man.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    CHREM. You seem to've been at work with Menedemus.
+
+  _Harper_
+    He brought her with him hither, to prevent
+    Your smoking it.
+    CHREM. Incomparable!
+    SYRUS. Really?
+    CHREM. O, admirable!
+    SYRUS. Aye, if you knew all.
+    But only hear the rest of our advice.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    He brought her over with him to their house,
+    To hinder your detecting it.
+    CHREM. Good! good!
+    SYRUS. D'ye think so?
+    CHREM. Charming!
+    SYRUS. Aye, if you knew all.
+    But only hear the rest of our device.
+
+  _Harper_
+    Against my will?"----You can say none of this;
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Against my will?"----These pleas you cannot urge;]
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _Enter CLITIPHO._
+
+CLIT. (_to himself_). Nothing so easy in itself, but when
+Perform'd against one's will, grows difficult.
+This little walk how easy! yet how faint
+And weary it has made me!--and I fear
+Lest I be still excluded, and forbid
+To come near Bacchis. (_Seeing SYRUS._)--Now all powers above.
+Confound you, Syrus, for the trick you play'd me!
+That brain of yours is evermore contriving
+Some villainy to torture me withal.
+
+SYRUS. Away, you malapert! Your frowardness
+Had well-nigh ruin'd me.
+
+CLIT. I would it had,
+As you deserv'd!
+
+SYRUS. As I deserv'd!--How's that?----
+Before you touch'd the cash, that I was just
+About to give you.
+
+CLIT. Why, what can I say?
+You went away; came back, beyond my hopes,
+And brought my mistress with you; then again
+Forbade my touching her.
+
+SYRUS. Well, well, I can't
+Be peevish with you now--But do you know
+Where Bacchis is?
+
+CLIT. At our house.
+
+SYRUS. No.
+
+CLIT. Where then?
+
+SYRUS. At Clinia's.
+
+CLIT. Then I'm ruin'd.
+
+SYRUS. Courage, man!
+You shall go to her instantly, and carry
+The money that you promis'd her.
+
+CLIT. Fine talk!
+Where should I get it?
+
+SYRUS. From your father.
+
+CLIT. Pshaw!
+You play upon me.
+
+SYRUS. The event shall show.
+
+CLIT. Then I am bless'd indeed. Thanks, thanks, dear Syrus!
+
+SYRUS. Hist! here's your father.--Have a care! don't seem
+Surpris'd at any thing: give way in all:
+Do as he bids, and say but little. Mum!
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    SYRUS. Away, you malapert! Your frowardness
+    Had well-nigh ruin'd me.
+    CLIT. I would it had,
+    As you deserv'd!
+    SYRUS. As I deserv'd!--How's that?----
+  _Colman 1768_
+    SYRUS. Away, you malapert! Your frowardness
+    Had well-nigh been my ruin.
+    CLIT. Would it had!
+    For you deserv'd it richly.
+    SYRUS. How! deserv'd it?
+    I'faith I'm glad I heard you say so much]
+
+
+SCENE VII.
+
+  _Enter CHREMES._
+
+CHREM. Where's Clitipho?
+
+SYRUS (_to CLITIPHO_). Here, say.
+
+CLIT. Here, Sir!
+
+CHREM. Have you
+Inform'd him of the business? (_To SYRUS._)
+
+SYRUS. In good part.
+
+CHREM. Here, take the money then, and carry it. (_To CLITIPHO._)
+
+SYRUS. Plague, how you stand, log!--take it.
+
+CLIT. Give it me. (_Awkwardly._)
+
+SYRUS. Now in with me immediately!--You, Sir, (_To CHREMES._)
+Be pleas'd meanwhile to wait our coming here;
+There's nothing to detain us very long.
+                (_Exit CLITIPHO and SYRUS._
+
+
+SCENE VIII.
+
+  _CHREMES alone._
+
+My daughter now has had ten minae of me,
+Which I account laid out upon her board:
+Ten more her clothes will come to: and moreover
+Two talents for her portion.----How unjust
+And absolute is custom! I must now
+Leave every thing, and find a stranger out,
+On whom I may bestow the sum of wealth
+Which I have so much labor'd to acquire.
+
+
+SCENE IX.
+
+  _Enter MENEDEMUS._
+
+MENE. (_to himself_). Oh son, how happy hast thou made thy father,
+Convinc'd of thy repentance!
+
+CHREM. (_overhearing_). How mistaken!
+
+MENE. Chremes! I wish'd for you.--'Tis in your power,
+And I beseech you do it, to preserve
+My son, myself, and family.
+
+CHREM. I'll do't.
+Wherein can I oblige you?
+
+MENE. You to-day
+Have found a daughter.
+
+CHREM. True. What then?
+
+MENE. My Clinia
+Begs your consent to marry her.
+
+CHREM. Good Heaven!
+What kind of man are you?
+
+MENE. What mean you, Chremes?
+
+CHREM. Has it then slipp'd your memory so soon,
+The conversation that we had together,
+Touching the rogueries they should devise,
+To trick you of your money?
+
+MENE. I remember.
+
+CHREM. This is the trick.
+
+MENE. How, Chremes? I'm deceiv'd.
+'Tis as you say. From what a pleasing hope
+Have I then fall'n!
+
+CHREM. And she, I warrant you,
+Now at your house, is my son's mistress? Eh!
+
+MENE. So they say.
+
+CHREM. What! and you believ'd it?
+
+MENE. All.
+
+CHREM. --And they say too he wants to marry her;
+That soon as I've consented, you may give him
+Money to furnish her with jewels, clothes,
+And other necessaries.
+
+MENE. Aye, 'tis so:
+The money's for his mistress.
+
+CHREM. To be sure.
+
+MENE. Alas, my transports are all groundless then.
+--Yet I would rather bear with any thing,
+Than lose my son again.--What answer, Chremes,
+Shall I return with, that he mayn't perceive
+I've found him out, and take offense?
+
+CHREM. Offense!
+You're too indulgent to him, Menedemus!
+
+MENE. Allow me. I've begun, and must go through.
+Do but continue to assist me.
+
+CHREM. Say,
+That we have met, and treated of the match.
+
+MENE. Well; and what else?
+
+CHREM. That I give full consent;
+That I approve my son-in-law;--In short,
+You may assure him also, if you please,
+That I've betroth'd my daughter to him.
+
+MENE. Good!
+The thing I wanted.
+
+CHREM. So shall he the sooner
+Demand the money; you, as you desire,
+The sooner give.
+
+MENE. 'Tis my desire indeed.
+
+CHREM. 'Troth, friend, as far as I can judge of this,
+You'll soon be weary of your son again.
+But as the case now stands, give cautiously,
+A little at a time, if you are wise.
+
+MENE. I will.
+
+CHREM. Go in, and see what he demands.
+If you should want me, I'm at home.
+
+MENE. 'Tis well.
+For I shall let you know, do what I will. (_Exeunt severally._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    Do but continue to assist me.
+    CHREM. Say,
+    That we have met, and treated of the match.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Do but continue to assist me, Chremes.
+    CHREM. Say we have met, and treated of the match.
+
+  _Harper_
+    MENE. Good!
+    The thing I wanted.
+    CHREM. So shall he the sooner
+    Demand the money; you, as you desire,
+    The sooner give.
+    MENE. 'Tis my desire indeed.
+    CHREM. 'Troth, friend, as far as I can judge of this,
+    You'll soon be weary of your son again.
+    But as the case now stands, give cautiously,
+    A little at a time, if you are wise.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    MENE. Good!
+    The very thing I wanted.
+    CHREM. So your son
+    The sooner shall demand the money of you;
+    And so shall you, according to your wish
+    The sooner give.
+    MENE. It is my wish indeed.
+    CHREM. 'Fore heaven, friend, as far as I can judge,
+    You'll soon be weary of your son again.
+    But be it as it may, give cautiously,
+    A little at a time, if you are wise.]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FIFTH.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _MENEDEMUS alone._
+
+That I'm not overwise, no conjurer,
+I know full well: but my assistant here,
+And counselor, and grand controller Chremes,
+Outgoes me far: dolt, blockhead, ninny, ass;
+Or these, or any other common terms
+By which men speak of fools, befit me well:
+But him they suit not: his stupidity
+Is so transcendent, it exceeds them all.
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter CHREMES._
+
+CHREM. (_to SOSTRATA, within_). Nay prithee, good wife, cease to stun
+    the Gods
+With thanking them that you have found your daughter;
+Unless you fancy they are like yourself,
+And think they can not understand a thing
+Unless said o'er and o'er a hundred times.
+--But meanwhile (_coming forward_) wherefore do my son and Syrus
+Loiter so long?
+
+MENE. Who are those loiterers, Chremes?
+
+CHREM. Ha, Menedemus, are you there?--Inform me,
+Have you told Clinia what I said?
+
+MENE. The whole.
+
+CHREM. And what said he?
+
+MENE. Grew quite transported at it,
+Like those who wish for marriage.
+
+CHREM. Ha! ha! ha!
+
+MENE. What do you laugh at?
+
+CHREM. I was thinking of
+The cunning rogueries of that slave, Syrus. (_Laughing._)
+
+MENE. Oh, was that it?
+
+CHREM. Why, he can form and mould
+The very visages of men, a rogue! (_Laughing._)
+
+MENE. Meaning my son's well-acted transport?
+
+CHREM. Aye. (_Laughing._)
+
+MENE. The very same thing I was thinking of.
+
+CHREM. A subtle villain! (_Laughing._)
+
+MENE. Nay, if you knew more,
+You'd be still more convinc'd on't.
+
+CHREM. Say you so?
+
+MENE. Aye; do but hear.
+
+CHREM. (_laughing_). Hold! hold! inform me first
+How much you're out of pocket. For as soon
+As you inform'd your son of my consent,
+Dromo, I warrant, gave you a broad hint
+That the bride wanted jewels, clothes, attendants;
+That you might pay the money.
+
+MENE. No.
+
+CHREM. How? No?
+
+MENE. No, I say.
+
+CHREM. What! nor Clinia?
+
+MENE. Not a word;
+But only press'd the marriage for to-day.
+
+CHREM. Amazing!--But our Syrus? Did not he
+Throw in a word or two?
+
+MENE. Not he.
+
+CHREM. How so?
+
+MENE. Faith I can't tell: but I'm amaz'd that you,
+Who see so clearly into all the rest,
+Should stick at this.--But that arch villain Syrus
+Has form'd and moulded your son too so rarely.
+That nobody can have the least suspicion
+That this is Clinia's mistress.
+
+CHREM. How?
+
+MENE. I pass
+Their kisses and embraces. All that's nothing.
+
+CHREM. What is there more than he can counterfeit?
+
+MENE. Ah! (_Smiling._)
+
+CHREM. What d'ye mean?
+
+MENE. Nay, do but hear. I have
+A private snug apartment, a back room,
+Whither a bed was brought and made.
+
+CHREM. What then?
+
+MENE. No sooner done, than in went Clitipho.
+
+CHREM. Alone?
+
+MENE. Alone.
+
+CHREM. I tremble.
+
+MENE. Bacchis follow'd.
+
+CHREM. Alone?
+
+MENE. Alone.
+
+CHREM. Undone!
+
+MENE. No sooner in,
+But they made fast the door.
+
+CHREM. Ha! And was Clinia
+Witness to this?
+
+MENE. He was.--Both he and I.
+
+CHREM. Bacchis is my son's mistress, Menedemus.
+I'm ruin'd.
+
+MENE. Why d'ye think so?
+
+CHREM. Mine is scarce
+A ten-days' family.
+
+MENE. What are you dismay'd
+Because he sticks so closely to his friend?
+
+CHREM. Friend! His she-friend.
+
+MENE. If so----
+
+CHREM. Is that a doubt?
+Is any man so courteous, and so patient,
+As tamely to stand by and see his mistress----
+
+MENE. Ha, ha, ha! Why not?--That I, you know,
+Might be more easily impos'd upon. (_Ironically._)
+
+CHREM. D'ye laugh at me? I'm angry with myself:
+And well I may. How many circumstances
+Conspir'd to make it gross and palpable,
+Had I not been a stone!--What things I saw!
+Fool, fool! But by my life I'll be reveng'd:
+For now----
+
+MENE. And can't you then contain yourself?
+Have you no self-respect? And am not I
+A full example for you?
+
+CHREM. Menedemus,
+My anger throws me quite beside myself.
+
+MENE. That you should talk thus! is it not a shame
+To be so lib'ral of advice to others,
+So wise abroad, and poor in sense at home?
+
+CHREM. What shall I do?
+
+MENE. That which but even now
+You counsel'd me to do: Give him to know
+That you're indeed a father: let him dare
+Trust his whole soul to you, seek, ask of you;
+Lest he to others have recourse, and leave you.
+
+CHREM. And let him go; go where he will; much rather
+Than here by his extravagance reduce
+His father to distress and beggary.
+For if I should continue to supply
+The course of his expenses, Menedemus,
+Your desp'rate rakes would be my lot indeed.
+
+MENE. Ah, to what evils you'll expose yourself,
+Unless you're cautious! You will seem severe,
+And yet forgive him afterward, and then
+With an ill grace too.
+
+CHREM. Ah, you do not know
+How much this grieves me.
+
+MENE. Well, well, take your way.
+But tell me, do you grant me my request
+That this your new-found daughter wed my son?
+Or is there aught more welcome to you?
+
+CHREM. Nothing.
+The son-in-law and the alliance please me.
+
+MENE. What portion shall I tell my son you've settled!
+Why are you silent?
+
+CHREM. Portion!
+
+MENE. Aye, what portion?
+
+CHREM. Ah!
+
+MENE. Fear not, Chremes, though it be but small:
+The portion nothing moves us.
+
+CHREM. I propos'd,
+According to my fortune, that two talents
+Were full sufficient: But you now must say,
+If you'd save me, my fortune, and my son,
+That I have settled all I have upon her.
+
+MENE. What mean you?
+
+CHREM. Counterfeit amazement too,
+And question Clitipho my reason for it.
+
+MENE. Nay, but I really do not know your reason.
+
+CHREM. My reason for it?--That his wanton mind,
+Now flush'd with lux'ry and lasciviousness,
+I may o'erwhelm: and bring him down so low,
+He may not know which way to turn himself.
+
+MENE. What are you at?
+
+CHREM. Allow me! let me have
+My own way in this business.
+
+MENE. I allow you.
+Is it your pleasure?
+
+CHREM. It is.
+
+MENE. Be it so.
+
+CHREM. Come then, let Clinia haste to call the bride.
+And for this son of mine, he shall be school'd,
+As children ought.--But Syrus!
+
+MENE. What of him?
+
+CHREM. What! I'll so handle him, so curry him,
+That while he lives he shall remember me. (_Exit MENEDEMUS._
+What, make a jest of me? a laughing-stock?
+Now, afore Heav'n, he would not dare to treat
+A poor lone widow as he treated me.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    MENE. The very same thing I was thinking of.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    MENE. The very thing that I was thinking of.
+
+    CHREM. What is there more that he can counterfeit?
+  _Harper edition reads "more than he"_
+
+    Fool, fool! But by my life I'll be reveng'd:
+  _the 1896 Harper printing has "I'll he". Everywhere else,
+  the 1859 and 1896 printings appear to be made from the same
+  plates_]
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Re-enter MENEDEMUS, with CLITIPHO and SYRUS._
+
+CLIT. And can it, Menedemus, can it be,
+My father has so suddenly cast off
+All natural affection? for what act?
+What crime, alas! so heinous have I done?
+It is a common failing.
+
+MENE. This I know,
+Should be more heavy and severe to you
+On whom it falls: and yet am I no less
+Affected by it, though I know not why,
+And have no other reason for my grief,
+But that I wish you well.
+
+CLIT. Did not you say
+My father waited here?
+
+MENE. Aye; there he is. (_Exit MENEDEMUS._
+
+CHREM. Why d'ye accuse your father, Clitipho?
+Whate'er I've done, was providently done
+Tow'rd you and your imprudence. When I saw
+Your negligence of soul, and that you held
+The pleasures of to-day your only care,
+Regardless of the morrow; I found means
+That you should neither want, nor waste my substance.
+When you, whom fair succession first made heir,
+Stood self-degraded by unworthiness,
+I went to those the next in blood to you,
+Committing and consigning all to them.
+There shall your weakness, Clitipho, be sure
+Ever to find a refuge; food, and raiment,
+And roof to fly to.
+
+CLIT. Ah me!
+
+CHREM. Better thus,
+Than, you being heir, for Bacchis to have all.
+
+SYRUS. Distraction! what disturbances have I,
+Wretch that I am, all unawares created!
+
+CLIT. Would I were dead!
+
+CHREM. Learn first what 'tis to live.
+When you know that, if life displeases you,
+Then talk of dying.
+
+SYRUS. Master, may I speak?
+
+CHREM. Speak.
+
+SYRUS. But with safety?
+
+CHREM. Speak.
+
+SYRUS. How wrong is this,
+Or rather what extravagance and madness,
+To punish him for my offense!
+
+CHREM. Away!
+Do not you meddle. No one blames you, Syrus!
+Nor need you to provide a sanctuary,
+Or intercessor.
+
+SYRUS. What is it you do?
+
+CHREM. I am not angry, nor with you, nor him:
+Nor should you take offense at what I do.
+  (_Exit CHREMES._
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Manent CLITIPHO, SYRUS._
+
+SYRUS. He's gone. Ah, would I'd ask'd him----
+
+CLIT. Ask'd what, Syrus?
+
+SYRUS. Where I should eat, since he has cast us off.
+You, I perceive, are quarter'd on your sister.
+
+CLIT. Is't come to this, that I should be in fear
+Of starving, Syrus?
+
+SYRUS. So we do but live,
+There's hope----
+
+CLIT. Of what?
+
+SYRUS. That we shall have rare stomachs.
+
+CLIT. D'ye jest at such a time as this;
+And lend me no assistance by your counsel?
+
+SYRUS. Nay, I was studying for you even now.
+And was so all the while your father spoke.
+And far as I can understand this----
+
+CLIT. What?
+
+SYRUS. Stay, you shall have it presently. (_Thinking._)
+
+CLIT. Well, what?
+
+SYRUS. Thus then: I don't believe that you're their son.
+
+CLIT. How Syrus! are you mad?
+
+SYRUS. I'll speak my thoughts.
+Be you the judge. While they had you alone,
+While yet there was no other nearer joy,
+You they indulg'd, and gave with open hand:
+But now a daughter's found, their real child,
+A cause is found to drive you forth.
+
+CLIT. 'Tis like.
+
+SYRUS. Think you this fault so angers him?
+
+CLIT. I think not.
+
+SYRUS. Consider too; 'tis ever found that mothers
+Plead for their sons, and in the father's wrath
+Defend them. 'Tis not so at present.
+
+CLIT. True.
+What shall I do then, Syrus?
+
+SYRUS. Ask of them
+The truth of this suspicion. Speak your thoughts.
+If 'tis not so, you'll speedily incline them
+Both to compassion; or, if so, be told
+Whose son you are.
+
+CLIT. Your counsel's good. I'll do't.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+    _Manent CLITIPHO, SYRUS._
+  _names supplied from 1768 edition_]
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _SYRUS alone._
+
+A lucky thought of mine! for Clitipho:
+The less he hopes, so much more easily
+Will he reduce his father to good terms.
+Besides, who knows but he may take a wife?
+No thanks to Syrus neither.--But who's here?
+Chremes!--I'm off: for seeing what has pass'd,
+I wonder that he did not order me
+To be truss'd up immediately. I'll hence
+To Menedemus, and prevail on him
+To intercede for me: as matters stand,
+I dare not trust to our old gentleman. (_Exit SYRUS._
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _Enter CHREMES, SOSTRATA._
+
+SOSTRA. Nay indeed, husband, if you don't take care,
+You'll bring some kind of mischief on your son:
+I can't imagine how a thought so idle
+Could come into your head.
+
+CHREM. Still, woman, still
+D'ye contradict me? Did I ever wish
+For any thing in all my life, but you
+In that same thing oppos'd me, Sostrata?
+Yet now if I should ask wherein I'm wrong,
+Or wherefore I act thus, you do not know.
+Why then d'ye contradict me, simpleton?
+
+SOSTRA. Not know?
+
+CHREM. Well, well, you know: I grant it, rather
+Than hear your idle story o'er again.
+
+SOSTRA. Ah, 'tis unjust in you to ask my silence
+In such a thing as this.
+
+CHREM. I do not ask it.
+Speak if you will: I'll do it ne'ertheless.
+
+SOSTRA. Will you?
+
+CHREM. I will.
+
+SOSTRA. You don't perceive what harm
+May come of this. He thinks himself a foundling.
+
+CHREM. A foundling, say you?
+
+SOSTRA. Yes indeed, he does.
+
+CHREM. Confess it to be true.
+
+SOSTRA. Ah, Heav'n forbid!
+Let our most bitter enemies do that!
+Shall I disown my son, my own dear child!
+
+CHREM. What! do you fear you can not at your pleasure
+Produce convincing proofs that he's your own?
+
+SOSTRA. Is it because my daughter's found you say this?
+
+CHREM. No: but because, a stronger reason far,
+His manners so resemble yours, you may
+Easily prove him thence to be your son.
+He is quite like you: not a vice, whereof
+He is inheritor, but dwells in you:
+And such a son no mother but yourself
+Could have engender'd.--But he comes.--How grave!
+Look in his face, and you may guess his plight.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    His manners so resemble yours, you may
+    Easily prove him thence to be your son.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    His manners are so very like your own,
+    They are convincing proofs that he's your son]
+
+
+SCENE VII.
+
+  _Enter CLITIPHO._
+
+CLIT. Oh mother, if there ever was a time
+When you took pleasure in me, or delight
+To call me son, beseech you, think of that;
+Pity my present misery, and tell me
+Who are my real parents!
+
+SOSTRA. My dear son,
+Take not, I beg, that notion to your mind,
+That you're an alien to our blood.
+
+CLIT. I am.
+
+SOSTRA. Ah me! and can you then demand me that?
+So may you prosper after both, as you're
+Of both the child! and if you love your mother,
+Take heed henceforward that I never hear
+Such words from you.
+
+CHREM. And if you fear your father,
+See that I never find such vices in you.
+
+CLIT. What vices?
+
+CHREM. What? I'll tell you. Trifler, idler,
+Cheat, drunkard, whoremaster, and prodigal.
+--Think this, and think that you are ours.
+
+SOSTRA. These words
+Suit not a father.
+
+CHREM. No, no, Clitipho,
+Though from my brain you had been born, as Pallas
+Sprang, it is said, from Jupiter, I would not
+Bear the disgrace of your enormities.
+
+SOSTRA. The Gods forbid----
+
+CHREM. I know not for the Gods:
+I will do all that lies in me. You seek
+For parents, which you have: but what is wanting,
+Obedience to your father, and the means
+To keep what he by labor hath acquir'd,
+For that you seek not.--Did you not by tricks
+Ev'n to my presence introduce----I blush
+To speak immodestly before your mother:
+But you by no means blush'd to do't.
+
+CLIT. Alas!
+How hateful am I to myself! how much
+Am I asham'd! so lost, I can not tell
+How to attempt to pacify my father.
+
+
+SCENE VIII.
+
+  _Enter MENEDEMUS._
+
+MENE. Now in good faith our Chremes plagues his son
+Too long and too severely. I come forth
+To reconcile him, and make peace between them.
+And there they are!
+
+CHREM. Ha, Menedemus! wherefore
+Is not my daughter summon'd? and the portion,
+I settled on her; ratified by you?
+
+SOSTRA. Dear husband, I beseech you not to do it!
+
+CLIT. My father, I entreat you pardon me!
+
+MENE. Forgive him, Chremes! let his pray'rs prevail!
+
+CHREM. What! shall I then with open eyes bestow
+My whole estate on Bacchis? I'll not do't.
+
+MENE. We will prevent that. It shall not be so.
+
+CLIT. If you regard my life, forgive me, father!
+
+SOSTRA. Do, my dear Chremes!
+
+MENE. Do, I prithee now!
+Be not obdurate, Chremes!
+
+CHREM. Why is this?
+I see I can't proceed as I've begun.
+
+MENE. 'Tis as it should be now.
+
+CHREM. On this condition,
+That he agrees to do what I think fit.
+
+CLIT. I will do ev'ry thing. Command me, father!
+
+CHREM. Take a wife.
+
+CLIT. Father!
+
+CHREM. Nay, Sir, no denial!
+
+MENE. I take that charge upon me. He shall do't.
+
+CHREM. But I don't hear a word of it from him.
+
+CLIT. Confusion!
+
+SOSTRA. Do you doubt then, Clitipho?
+
+CHREM. Nay, which he pleases.
+
+MENE. He'll obey in all;
+Whate'er you'd have him.
+
+SOSTRA. This at first is grievous,
+While you don't know it; when you know it, easy.
+
+CLIT. I'm all obedience, father!
+
+SOSTRA. Oh my son,
+I'll give you a sweet wife, that you'll adore,
+Phanocrata's, our neighbor's daughter.
+
+CLIT. Her!
+That red-hair'd, blear-eyed, wide-mouth'd, hook-nos'd wench?
+I can not, father.
+
+CHREM. Oh, how nice he is!
+Would any one imagine it?
+
+SOSTRA. I'll get you
+Another then.
+
+CLIT. Well, well; since I must marry,
+I know one pretty near my mind.
+
+SOSTRA. Good boy!
+
+CLIT. The daughter of Archonides, our neighbor.
+
+SOSTRA. Well chosen!
+
+CLIT. One thing, father, still remains.
+
+CHREM. What?
+
+CLIT. That you'd grant poor Syrus a full pardon
+For all that he hath done on my account.
+
+CHREM. Be it so.-- (_To the Audience._) Farewell Sirs, and clap your
+    hands!
+
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+           *       *       *       *
+
+
+THE BROTHERS.
+
+
+PERSONS REPRESENTED.
+
+  PROLOGUE.
+  DEMEA.
+  MICIO.
+  AESCHINUS.
+  CTESIPHO.
+  HEGIO.
+  SANNIO.
+  GETA.
+  SYRUS.
+  GETA.
+  DROMO.
+  PARMENO, _other Servants, etc._
+
+  SOSTRATA.
+  CANTHARA.
+  MUSIC-GIRL, _and other Mutes._
+
+SCENE, ATHENS.
+
+
+
+
+PROLOGUE.
+
+  The Bard perceiving his piece cavil'd at
+By partial critics, and his adversaries
+Misrepresenting what we're now to play,
+Pleads his own cause: and you shall be the judges,
+Whether he merits praise or condemnation.
+  The _Synapothnescontes_ is a piece
+By Diphilus, a comedy which Plautus,
+Having translated, call'd COMMORIENTES.
+In the beginning of the Grecian play
+There is a youth, who rends a girl perforce
+From a procurer: and this incident,
+Untouch'd by Plautus, render'd word for word,
+Has our bard interwoven with his _Brothers_;
+The new piece which we represent to-day.
+Say then if this be theft, or honest use
+Of what remain'd unoccupied.--For that
+Which malice tells, that certain noble persons
+Assist the Bard, and write in concert with him;
+That which they deem a heavy slander, He
+Esteems his greatest praise: that he can please
+Those who please you, who all the people please;
+Those who in war, in peace, in counsel, ever
+Have render'd you the dearest services,
+And ever borne their faculties so meekly.
+  Expect not now the story of the play:
+Part the old men, who first appear, will open;
+Part will in act be shown.--Be favorable;
+And let your candor to the poet now
+Increase his future earnestness to write!
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FIRST.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _Enter MICIO._
+
+  Ho, Storax!--AEschinus did not return
+Last night from supper; no, nor any one
+Of all the slaves who went to see for him.
+--'Tis commonly--and oh how truly!--said,
+If you are absent, or delay, 'twere best
+That should befall you, which your wife denounces,
+Or which in anger she calls down upon you,
+Than that which kindest parents fear.--Your wife,
+If you delay, or thinks that you're in love,
+Or lov'd, or drink, or entertain yourself,
+Taking your pleasure, while she pines at home.
+--And what a world of fears possess me now!
+How anxious that my son is not return'd;
+Lest he take cold, or fall, or break a limb!
+--Gods, that a man should suffer any one
+To wind himself so close about his heart,
+As to grow dearer to him than himself!
+And yet he is not my son, but my brother's,
+Whose bent of mind is wholly different.
+I, from youth upward even to this day,
+Have led a quiet and serene town-life;
+And, as some reckon fortunate, ne'er married.
+He, in all points the opposite of this,
+Has pass'd his days entirely in the country
+With thrift and labor; married; had two sons;
+The elder boy is by adoption mine;
+I've brought him up; kept; lov'd him as my own;
+Made him my joy, and all my soul holds dear,
+Striving to make myself as dear to him.
+I give, o'erlook, nor think it requisite
+That all his deeds should be controll'd by me,
+Giving him scope to act as of himself;
+So that the pranks of youth, which other children
+Hide from their fathers, I have us'd my son
+Not to conceal from me. For whosoe'er
+Hath won upon himself to play the false one,
+And practice impositions on a father,
+Will do the same with less remorse to others;
+And 'tis, in my opinion, better far
+To bind your children to you by the ties
+Of gentleness and modesty, than fear.
+And yet my brother don't accord in this,
+Nor do these notions nor this conduct please him.
+Oft he comes open-mouth'd--"Why how now, Micio?
+Why do you ruin this young lad of ours?
+Why does he wench? why drink? and why do you
+Allow him money to afford all this?
+You let him dress too fine. 'Tis idle in you."
+--'Tis hard in him, unjust and out of reason.
+And he, I think, deceives himself indeed,
+Who fancies that authority more firm
+Founded on force, than what is built on friendship;
+For thus I reason, thus persuade myself:
+He who performs his duty driven to't
+By fear of punishment, while he believes
+His actions are observ'd, so long he's wary;
+But if he hopes for secrecy, returns
+To his own ways again: But he whom kindness,
+Him also inclination makes your own:
+He burns to make a due return, and acts,
+Present or absent, evermore the same.
+'Tis this then is the duty of a father,
+To make a son embrace a life of virtue,
+Rather from choice than terror or constraint.
+Here lies the mighty difference between
+A father and a master. He who knows not
+How to do this, let him confess he knows not
+How to rule children.--But is this the man
+Whom I was speaking of? Yes, yes, 'tis he.
+He seems uneasy too, I know not why,
+And I suppose, as usual, comes to wrangle.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _quotation marks at mid-speech supplied from 1768 edition_
+
+  _Harper_
+    [beginning of speech, through line
+    --Gods, that a man ...]
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Ho, Storax!--No reply?--Then Aeschinus
+    Never return'd, it seems, last night from supper;
+    Nor any of the slaves, who went to meet him.
+    --'Tis commonly--and oh how truly!--said,
+    If you are absent, or delay, 'twere best
+    That should befall you, which your wife declares
+    Or which in anger she supposes of you
+    Than that which kindest parents fear.--Your wife,
+    If you delay, suspects that you're engag'd
+    In some intrigue, debauch, or entertainment;
+    Consulting your own happiness abroad,
+    While she, poor soul! is left to pine at home.
+    But what a world of fears possess me now!
+    How many ills I figure to myself,
+    As causes that my son is not return'd!
+    Lest he have taken cold, or had a fall,
+    Or broke a limb!--Good heavens! that a man
+    Shou'd doat so much, or suffer any one]
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter DEMEA._
+
+MICIO. Demea, I'm glad to see you well.
+
+DEMEA. Oho!
+Well met: the very man I came to seek.
+
+MICIO. But you appear uneasy: What's the matter?
+
+DEMEA. Is it a question, when there's AEschinus
+To trouble us, what makes me so uneasy?
+
+MICIO. I said it would be so.--What has he done?
+
+DEMEA. What has he done? a wretch, whom neither ties
+Of shame, nor fear, nor any law can bind!
+For not to speak of all his former pranks,
+What has he been about but even now!
+
+MICIO. What has he done?
+
+DEMEA. Burst open doors, and forc'd
+His way into another's house, and beat
+The master and his family half dead;
+And carried off a wench whom he was fond of.
+The whole town cries out shame upon him, Micio.
+I have been told of it a hundred times
+Since my arrival. 'Tis the common talk.----
+And if we needs must draw comparisons,
+Does not he see his brother thrifty, sober,
+Attentive to his business in the country?
+Not given to these practices; and when
+I say all this to him, to you I say it.
+You are his ruin, Micio.
+
+MICIO. How unjust
+Is he who wants experience! who believes
+Nothing is right but what he does himself!
+
+DEMEA. Why d'ye say that?
+
+MICIO. Because you, Demea,
+Judge wrongly of these matters. 'Tis no crime
+For a young man to wench or drink.--'Tis not,
+Believe me!--nor to force doors open.--This,
+If neither you nor I have done, it was
+That poverty allow'd us not. And now
+You claim a merit to yourself, from that
+Which want constrain'd you to. It is not fair.
+For had there been but wherewithal to do't,
+We likewise should have done thus. Wherefore you,
+Were you a man, would let your younger son,
+Now, while it suits his age, pursue his pleasures;
+Rather than, when it less becomes his years,
+When, after wishing long, he shall at last
+Be rid of you, he should run riot then.
+
+DEMEA. Oh Jupiter! the man will drive me mad.
+Is it no crime, d'ye say, for a young man
+To take these courses?
+
+MICIO. Nay, nay; do but hear me,
+Nor stun me with the self-same thing forever!
+Your elder son you gave me for adoption:
+He's mine, then, Demea; and if he offends,
+'Tis an offense to me, and I must bear
+The burden. Does he treat? or drink? or dress?
+'Tis at my cost.--Or wench? I will supply him,
+While 'tis convenient to me; when 'tis not,
+His mistresses perhaps will shut him out.
+--Has he broke open doors? we'll make them good.
+Or torn a coat? it shall be mended. I,
+Thank Heaven, have enough to do all this,
+And 'tis as yet not irksome.--In a word,
+Or cease, or choose some arbiter between us:
+I'll prove that you are more in fault than I.
+
+DEMEA. Ah, learn to be a father; learn from those
+Who know what 'tis to be indeed a parent!
+
+MICIO. By nature you're his father, I by counsel.
+
+DEMEA. You! do you counsel any thing?
+
+MICIO. Nay, nay;
+If you persist, I'm gone.
+
+DEMEA. Is't thus you treat me?
+
+MICIO. Must I still hear the same thing o'er and o'er?
+
+DEMEA. It touches me.
+
+MICIO. And me it touches too.
+But, Demea, let us each look to our own;
+Let me take care of one, and mind you t'other.
+For to concern yourself with both, appears
+As if you'd redemand the boy you gave.
+
+DEMEA. Ah, Micio!
+
+MICIO. So it seems to me.
+
+DEMEA. Well, well;
+Let him, if 'tis your pleasure, waste, destroy.
+And squander; it is no concern of mine.
+If henceforth I e'er say one word----
+
+MICIO. Again?
+Angry again, good Demea?
+
+DEMEA. You may trust me.
+Do I demand him back again I gave you?
+--It hurts me. I am not a stranger to him.
+--But if I once oppose--Well, well, I've done.
+You wish I should take care of one. I do
+Take special care of him; and he, thank Heav'n,
+Is as I wish he _should_ be: which your ward,
+I warrant, shall find out one time or other.
+I will not say aught worse of him at present. (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    DEMEA. Is it a question, when there's AEschinus
+    To trouble us, what makes me so uneasy?
+    MICIO. I said it would be so.--What has he done?
+    DEMEA. What has he done? a wretch, whom neither ties
+    Of shame, nor fear, nor any law can bind!
+    For not to speak of all his former pranks,
+    What has he been about but even now!
+    MICIO. What has he done?
+    DEMEA. Burst open doors, and forc'd
+    His way into another's house, and beat
+    The master and his family half dead;
+    And carried off a wench whom he was fond of.
+    The whole town cries out shame upon him, Micio.
+    I have been told of it a hundred times
+    Since my arrival. 'Tis the common talk.----
+  _Colman 1768_
+    DEMEA. Uneasy? well I may.--The matter, say you?
+    What can the matter be but AEschinus?
+    MICIO. I said it would be so.--What has he done?
+    DEMEA. What has he done! a wretch whom neither fear,
+    Nor modesty, nor any law can bind!
+    For not to speak of all his former pranks,
+    What has he been about but even now!
+    MICIO. What has he done?
+    DEMEA. Burst open doors, and made
+    His way by force into another's house;
+    Half-kill'd the master and his family,
+    And carried off a wench whom he was fond of.
+    All Athens cries out shame upon him for it.
+    I have been told of it a hundred times
+    Since my arrival. 'Tis the town-talk, Micio.
+
+  _Harper_
+    Judge wrongly of these matters. 'Tis no crime
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Misjudge these matters. 'Tis no heinous crime
+
+  _Harper_
+    Or cease, or choose some arbiter between us
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Have done, or chuse some arbiter between us
+
+  _Harper_
+    MICIO. Must I still hear the same thing o'er and o'er?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    MICIO. Must I be plagued with the same thing so often?]
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _MICIO alone._
+
+Though what he says be not entirely true,
+There's something in it, and it touches me.
+But I dissembled my concern with him,
+Because the nature of the man is such,
+To pacify, I must oppose and thwart him;
+And even thus I scarce can teach him patience.
+But were I to inflame, or aid his anger,
+I were as great a madman as himself.
+Yet AEschinus, 'tis true, has been to blame.
+What wench is there he has not lov'd? to whom
+He has not made some present--And but lately
+(Tir'd, I suppose, and sick of wantonness)
+He told me he propos'd to take a wife.
+I hop'd the heyday of the blood was over,
+And was rejoic'd: but his intemperance
+Breaks out afresh.--Well, be it what it may,
+I'll find him out; and know it instantly,
+If he is to be met with at the Forum. (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    What wench is there he has not lov'd? to whom
+    He has not made some present--And but lately
+  _Colman 1768_
+    What wench is there but he is her gallant?
+    Or tempts her with some gift?--But lately too]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE SECOND.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _Enter AESCHINUS, SANNIO, PARMENO, the _Music-Girl_, and a crowd of
+  People._
+
+SAN. Help, help, dear countrymen, for Heaven's sake!
+Assist a miserable, harmless man!
+Help the distress'd!
+
+AESCH. (_to the Girl_). Fear nothing: stand just there!
+Why d'ye look back? you're in no danger. Never,
+While I am by, shall he lay hands upon you.
+
+SAN. Aye, but I will, in spite of all the world.
+
+AESCH. Rogue as he is, he'll scarce do any thing
+To make me cudgel him again to-day.
+
+SAN. One word, Sir AEschinus! that you may not
+Pretend to ignorance of my profession;
+I'm a procurer.
+
+AESCH. True.
+
+SAN. And in my way
+Of as good faith as any man alive.
+Hereafter, to absolve yourself, you'll cry,
+That you repent of having wrong'd me thus.
+I sha'n't care _that_ for your excuse. (_Snapping his fingers._) Be sure
+I'll prosecute my right; nor shall fine words
+Atone for evil deeds. I know your way,
+--"I'm sorry that I did it: and I'll swear
+You are unworthy of this injury"----
+Though all the while I'm us'd most scurvily.
+
+AESCH. (_to PAR._) Do you go forward, Parmeno, and throw
+The door wide open.
+
+SAN. That sha'n't signify.
+
+AESCH. (_to PARMENO_). Now in with her!
+
+SAN. (_stepping between_). I'll not allow it.
+
+AESCH. (_to PARMENO_). Here!
+Come hither, Parmeno!--you're too far off.----
+Stand close to that pimp's side--There--there--just there!
+And now be sure you always keep your eyes
+Steadfastly fix'd on mine; and when I wink,
+To drive your fist directly in his face.
+
+SAN. Aye, if he dare.
+
+AESCH. (_to PARMENO_). Now mind!-- (_To SANNIO_). Let go the girl
+    (_SANNIO still struggling with the Girl, AESCHINUS winks, and
+    PARMENO strikes SANNIO_).
+
+SAN. Oh monstrous!
+
+AESCH. He shall double it, unless
+You mend your manners.
+(_PARMENO strikes SANNIO again._)
+
+SAN. Help, help: murder, murder!
+
+AESCH. (_to PARMENO_). I did not wink: but you had better err
+That way than t'other.--Now go in with her.
+    (_PARMENO leads the Girl into MICIO'S house._)
+
+SAN. How's this?--Do you reign king here, AEschinus?
+
+AESCH. Did I reign king, you should be recompens'd
+According to your virtues, I assure you.
+
+SAN. What business have you with me?
+
+AESCH. None.
+
+SAN. D'ye know
+Who I am, AEschinus?
+
+AESCH. Nor want to know.
+
+SAN. Have I touch'd aught of yours, Sir?
+
+AESCH. If you had,
+You should have suffer'd for't.
+
+SAN. What greater right
+Have you to take away my slave, for whom
+I paid my money? answer me!
+
+AESCH. 'Twere best
+You'd leave off bellowing before our door:
+If you continue to be troublesome,
+I'll have you dragg'd into the house, and there
+Lash'd without mercy.
+
+SAN. How, a freeman lash'd!
+
+AESCH. Ev'n so.
+
+SAN. O monstrous tyranny! Is this,
+Is this the liberty they boast of here,
+Common to all?
+
+AESCH. If you have brawl'd enough,
+Please to indulge me with one word, you pimp.
+
+SAN. Who has brawl'd most, yourself or I?
+
+AESCH. Well, well!
+No more of that, but to the point!
+
+SAN. What point?
+What would you have?
+
+AESCH. Will you allow me then
+To speak of what concerns you?
+
+SAN. Willingly:
+Speak, but in justice.
+
+AESCH. Very fine! a pimp,
+And talks of justice!
+
+SAN. Well, I am a pimp;
+The common bane of youth, a perjurer,
+A public nuisance, I confess it: yet
+I never did you wrong.
+
+AESCH. No, that's to come.
+
+SAN. Prithee return to whence you first set out, Sir!
+
+AESCH. You, plague upon you for it! bought the girl
+For twenty minae; which sum we will give you.
+
+SAN. What if I do not choose to sell the girl?
+Will you oblige me?
+
+AESCH. No.
+
+SAN. I fear'd you would.
+
+AESCH. She's a free-woman, and should _not_ be sold,
+And, as such, by due course of law I claim her.
+Now then consider which you like the best,
+To take the money, or maintain your action.
+Think on this, Pimp, till I come back again. (_Exit._
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _SANNIO alone._
+
+Oh Jupiter! I do not wonder now
+That men run mad with injuries. He drags me
+Out of my own house; cudgels me most soundly;
+And carries off my slave against my will:
+And after this ill-treatment, he demands
+The Music-Girl to be made over to him
+At the same price I bought her.--He has pour'd
+His blows upon me, thick as hail; for which,
+Since he deserves so nobly at my hands,
+He should no doubt be gratified.--Nay, nay,
+Let me but touch the cash, I'm still content.
+But this I guess will be the case: as soon
+As I shall have agreed to take his price,
+He'll produce witnesses immediately,
+To prove that I have sold her--And the money
+Will be mere moonshine.--"By-and-by."--"To-morrow."
+--Yet I could bear that too, although much wrong,
+Might I but get the money after all:
+For thus it is, friend Sannio; when a man
+Has taken up this trade, he must receive,
+And pocket the affronts of young gallants.
+--But nobody will pay me, and I draw
+Conclusions to no purpose.
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Enter SYRUS._
+
+SYRUS (_to AESCH. within_). Say no more!
+Let me alone to talk with him! I warrant
+I'll make him take the money; aye, and own
+That he's well treated too. (_Coming forward._)
+                        Why how now, Sannio?
+What's the dispute I overheard just now
+'Twixt you and my young master?
+
+SAN. Never was
+Any dispute conducted more unfairly,
+Than that between us two to-day! Poor I
+With being drubb'd, and he with drubbing me,
+'Till we were both quite weary.
+
+SYRUS. All your fault.
+
+SAN. What could I do?
+
+SYRUS. Give a young man his way.
+
+SAN. What could I give him more, who gave my face?
+
+SYRUS. Nay, but d'ye know my meaning, Sannio?
+To seem upon occasion to slight money,
+Proves in the end, sometimes, the greatest gain.
+Why prithee, blockhead, could you be afraid,
+Had you abated somewhat of your right,
+And humor'd the young gentleman, he would not
+Have paid you back again with interest?
+
+SAN. I never purchase hope with ready money.
+
+SYRUS. Away! you'll never thrive. You do not know
+How to ensnare men, Sannio.
+
+SAN. Well, perhaps,
+Your way were best: yet I was ne'er so crafty
+But I had rather, when 'twas in my power,
+Receive prompt payment.
+
+SYRUS. Pshaw! I know your spirit:
+As if you valued twenty minae now,
+So you might do a kindness to my master!
+--Besides, they say you're setting out for Cyprus. (_Carelessly._)
+
+SAN. Ha! (_Alarmed._)
+
+SYRUS. --And have bought up a large stock of goods
+To carry over thither.--Hir'd a vessel.
+That 'tis, I know, which keeps you in suspense:
+When you return, I hope, you'll settle this.
+
+SAN. I shall not budge a foot.--Undone by Heav'n!
+Urg'd by these hopes they've undertaken this. (_Aside._)
+
+SYRUS. He fears. I've thrown a small rub in his way. (_Aside._)
+
+SAN. (_to himself._) Confusion! they have nick'd me to a hair!
+I've bought up sev'ral slaves, and other wares,
+For exportation; and to miss my time
+At Cyprus-fair would be a heavy loss.
+Then if I leave this business broken thus,
+All's over with me; and at my return
+'Twill come to nothing, grown quite cold and stale.
+"--What! come at last?--Why did you stay so long?
+Where have you been?"--that it were better lose it,
+Than wait for it so long, or sue for't then.
+
+SYRUS (_coming up to him._) Well, have you calculated what's your due?
+
+SAN. Monstrous oppression! Is this honorable,
+Or just in AEschinus, to take away
+My property by force?
+
+SYRUS. So, so! he comes. (_Aside._)
+--I have but one word more to say to you.
+See how you like it.--Rather, Sannio,
+Than run the risk to get or lose the whole,
+E'en halve the matter: and he shall contrive
+To scrape together by some means ten minae.
+
+SAN. Alas, alas! am I in danger then
+Of losing ev'n my very principal?
+Shame on him! he has loosen'd all my teeth:
+My head is swell'd all over like a mushroom:
+And will he cheat me too?--I'm going nowhere.
+
+SYRUS. Just as you please.--Have you aught else to say
+Before I go?
+
+SAN. Yes, one word, prithee Syrus!
+However things have happen'd, rather than
+I should be driven to commence a suit,
+Let him return me my bare due at least;
+The sum she cost me, Syrus.--I'm convinc'd
+You've had no tokens of my friendship yet;
+But you shall find I will not be ungrateful.
+
+SYRUS. I'll do my best. But I see Ctesipho.
+He is rejoic'd about his mistress.
+
+SAN. Say,
+Will you remember me?
+
+SYRUS. Hold, hold a little! (_SYRUS and SANNIO retire._)
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    SYRUS. He fears. I've thrown a small rub in his way.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    SYRUS. He fears. I hinted Cyprus. There's the rub.]
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Enter CTESIPHO at another part of the stage._
+
+CTES. Favors are welcome in the hour of need
+From any hand; but doubly welcome when
+Conferr'd by those from whom we most expect them.
+O brother, brother, how shall I applaud thee?
+Ne'er can I rise to such a height of praise
+But your deservings will outtop me still:
+For in this point I am supremely bless'd,
+That none can boast so excellent a brother,
+So rich in all good qualities, as I.
+
+SYRUS (_coming forward_). O Ctesipho!
+
+CTES. (_turning round_). O Syrus! where's my brother?
+
+SYRUS. At home, where he expects you.
+
+CTES. Ha! (_Joyfully._)
+
+SYRUS. What now!
+
+CTES. What now?--By his assistance I live, Syrus.
+Ah, he's a friend indeed! who disregarding
+All his own interests for my advantage,
+The scandal, infamy, intrigue, and blame,
+All due to me, has drawn upon himself!
+What could exceed it?--But who's there?--The door
+Creaks on the hinges. (_Offering to go off._)
+
+SYRUS. Hold! 'tis AEschinus.
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _Enter AESCHINUS._
+
+AESCH. Where is that rascal?
+
+SAN. (_behind._) He inquires for me.
+Has he brought out the cash with him?--Confusion!
+I see none.
+
+AESCH. (_to CTESIPHO_). Ha! well met: I long'd to see you
+How is it, Ctesipho? All's safe. Away
+With melancholy!
+
+CTES. Melancholy! I
+Be melancholy, who have such a brother?
+Oh my dear AEschinus! thou best of brothers,
+--Ah, I'm asham'd to praise you to your face,
+Lest it appear to come from flattery,
+Rather than gratitude.
+
+AESCH. Away, you fool!
+As if we did not know each other, Ctesipho.
+It only grieves me, we so lately knew this,
+When things were almost come to such a pass,
+That all the world, had they desir'd to do it,
+Could not assist you.
+
+CTES. 'Twas my modesty.
+
+AESCH. Pshaw! it was folly, and not modesty.
+For such a trifle, almost fly your country?
+Heaven forbid it!--fie, fie, Ctesipho!
+
+CTES. I've been to blame.
+
+AESCH. Well, what says Sannio?
+
+SYRUS. He's pacified at last.
+
+AESCH. I'll to the Forum,
+And pay him off.--You, Ctesipho, go in
+To the poor girl.
+
+SAN. Now urge the matter, Syrus! (_Apart to SYRUS._)
+
+SYRUS. Let's go; for Sannio wants to be at Cyprus.
+
+SAN. Not in such haste: though truly I have no cause
+To loiter here.
+
+SYRUS. You shall be paid: ne'er fear!
+
+SAN. But all?
+
+SYRUS. Yes, all: so hold your tongue, and follow!
+
+SAN. I will. (_Exit after AESCHINUS--SYRUS going._
+
+CTES. Hist! hark ye, Syrus!
+
+SYRUS (_turning back._) Well, what now?
+
+CTES. For Heaven's sake discharge that scurvy fellow
+Immediately; for fear, if further urg'd,
+This tale should reach my father's ears: and then
+I am undone forever.
+
+SYRUS. It sha'n't be.
+Be of good courage! meanwhile, get you in,
+And entertain yourself with her; and order
+The couches to be spread, and all prepar'd.
+For, these preliminaries once dispatch'd,
+I shall march homeward with provisions.
+
+CTES. Do!
+And since this business has turn'd out so well,
+Let's spend the day in mirth and jollity!
+(_Exeunt severally._
+
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    SAN. Not in such haste: though truly I have no cause
+    To loiter here.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    SAN. Not in such haste: though truly I've no cause
+    To loiter here.]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE THIRD.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _SOSTRATA, CANTHARA._
+
+SOS. Prithee, good nurse, how will it go with her?
+
+CAN. How go with her? Why well, I warrant you.
+
+SOS. Her pains begin to come upon her, nurse.
+
+CAN. You're as much frighten'd at your time of day,
+As if you ne'er was present at a labor,
+Or never had been brought to bed yourself.
+
+SOS. Alas, I've no soul here: we're all alone.
+Geta is absent; nor is there a creature
+To fetch a midwife, or call AEschinus.
+
+CAN. He'll be here presently, I promise you:
+For he, good man, ne'er lets a single day
+Go by, but he is sure to visit us.
+
+SOS. He is my only comfort in my sorrows.
+
+CAN. Troth, as the case stands, madam, circumstances
+Could not have happen'd better than they have:
+And since your daughter suffer'd violence,
+'Twas well she met with such a man as this;
+A man of honor, rank, and family.
+
+SOS. He is, indeed, a worthy gentleman:
+The gods preserve him to us!
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter GETA hastily at another part of the stage._
+
+GETA. We are now
+So absolutely lost, that all the world
+Joining in consultation to apply
+Relief to the misfortune that has fallen
+On me, my mistress, and her daughter, all
+Would not avail.--Ah me! so many troubles
+Environ us at once, we sink beneath them.
+Rape, poverty, oppression, solitude,
+And infamy! oh, what an age is this!
+O wicked, oh vile race!--oh impious man!
+
+SOS. (_to CANTHARA_). Ah, why should Geta seem thus terrified
+And agitated?
+
+GETA (_to himself._) Wretch! whom neither honor,
+Nor oaths, nor pity could control or move!
+Nor her approaching labor; her, on whom
+He shamefully committed violation!
+
+SOS. I don't well understand him.
+
+CAN. Prithee then
+Let us draw nearer, Sostrata!
+
+GETA (_to himself._) Alas,
+I'm scarcely in my perfect mind, I burn
+With such fierce anger.--Oh, that I had all
+That villain-family before me now,
+That I might vent my indignation on them,
+While yet it boils within me.--There is nothing
+I'd not endure to be reveng'd on them.
+First I'd tread out the stinking snuff his father,
+Who gave the monster being.--And then, Syrus,
+Who urg'd him to it,--how I'd tear him!--First
+I'd seize him round the waist, and lift him high,
+Then dash his head against the ground, and strew
+The pavement with his brains.--For AEschinus,
+I'd tear his eyes out, and then tumble him,
+Head foremost down some precipice.--The rest
+I'd rush on, drag, crush, trample under foot.
+But why do I delay to tell my mistress
+This heavy news as soon as possible! (_Going._)
+
+SOS. Let's call him back.--Ho, Geta!
+
+GETA. Whosoe'er
+You are, excuse me.
+
+SOS. I am Sostrata.
+
+GETA. Where, where is Sostrata? (_Turns about._) I sought you, Madam;
+Impatiently I sought you: and am glad
+To have encounter'd you thus readily.
+
+SOS. What is the matter? why d'ye tremble thus?
+
+GETA. Alas!
+
+SOS. Take breath!--But why thus mov'd, good Geta?
+
+GETA. We're quite----
+
+SOS. Quite what?
+
+GETA. Undone: We're ruin'd, Madam.
+
+SOS. Explain, for Heaven's sake!
+
+GETA. Ev'n now----
+
+SOS. What now?
+
+GETA. AEschinus----
+
+SOS. What of AEschinus?
+
+GETA. Has quite
+Estrang'd himself from all our family.
+
+SOS. How's that? confusion! why?
+
+GETA. He loves another.
+
+SOS. Wretch that I am!
+
+GETA. Nor that clandestinely;
+But snatch'd her in the face of all the world
+From a procurer.
+
+SOS. Are you sure of this?
+
+GETA. Sure? With these very eyes I saw it, Madam.
+
+SOS. Alas, alas! What then can we believe?
+To whom give credit?--What? our AEschinus!
+Our very life, our sole support and hope!
+Who swore he could not live one day without her,
+And promis'd he would place the new-born babe
+Upon his father's lap, and in that way
+Wring from him his consent to marry her!
+
+GETA. Nay, weep not, mistress; but consider rather
+What course were best to follow: to conceal
+This wrong, or to disclose it to some friend?
+
+CAN. Disclose it! Are you mad? Is this a thing
+To be disclos'd, d'ye think?
+
+GETA. I'd not advise it.
+For first, that he has quite abandon'd us,
+The thing itself declares. If we then make
+The story known, no doubt but he'll deny it.
+Your reputation, and your daughter's life
+Will be endanger'd: or if he confess,
+Since he affects another, 'twere not good
+That he should wed your daughter.--For which reasons,
+Silence is requisite.
+
+SOS. Ah, no: not I.
+
+GETA. What mean you?
+
+SOS. To disclose the whole.
+
+GETA. How, Madam!
+Think what you are about.
+
+SOS. Whatever happens,
+The thing can't be in a worse state than now.
+In the first place my daughter has no portion,
+And that which should have been her second dowry
+Is also lost; and she can ne'er be giv'n
+In marriage as a virgin. For the rest,
+If he denies his former commerce with her,
+I have the ring he lost to vouch the fact.
+In short, since I am conscious to myself.
+That I am not to blame in this proceeding,
+And that no sordid love of gain, nor aught
+Unworthy of my daughter or myself,
+Has mix'd in this affair, I'll try it, Geta.
+
+GETA. Well, I agree, 'twere better to disclose it.
+
+SOS. You then away, as fast as possible,
+And run to Hegio our good friend and kinsman,
+To let him know the whole affair: for he
+Was the chief friend of my dear Simulus,
+And ever show'd a great regard for us.
+
+GETA. And well he does, for no one else cares for us.
+
+SOS. And you, good Canthara, away with haste,
+And call a midwife; that we may be sure
+Of her assistance in the time of need. (_Exeunt severally._
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Enter DEMEA._
+
+DEM. Confusion! I have heard that Ctesipho
+Was present with his brother at this riot.
+This is the sum of all my miseries,
+If he, even he, a sober, hopeful lad,
+May be seduc'd into debaucheries.
+--But where shall I inquire for him? I warrant
+They have decoy'd him into some vile brothel.
+That profligate persuaded him, I'm sure.
+--But here comes Syrus; he can tell me all.
+And yet this slave is of the gang; and if
+He once perceives that I'm inquiring for him,
+He'll never tell me any thing; a rogue!
+I'll not discover my design.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    [end of speech, from line
+    --But here comes Syrus ...]
+  _Colman 1768_
+    --But here comes Syrus.--I shall know from him
+    What is become of Ctesipho.--And yet
+    This rascal's of the gang; and if he once
+    Perceives that I'm enquiring after him,
+    He'll never tell, a villain!--I'll take care
+    To cover my design.]
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Enter SYRUS at another part of the stage._
+
+SYRUS (_to himself_). We've just
+Disclos'd the whole of this affair to Micio,
+Exactly as it happen'd. I ne'er saw
+The good old gentleman more pleas'd.
+
+DEM. Oh Heav'n,
+The folly of the man! (_Listening._)
+
+SYRUS (_to himself_). He prais'd his son;
+Me, who concerted the whole scheme, he thank'd.
+
+DEM. I burst with rage. (_Listening._)
+
+SYRUS (_to himself_). He told the money down
+Immediately, and threw us in beside,
+To make an entertainment, a half-mina:
+Which I've laid out according to my liking.
+
+DEM. So! if you'd have your business well ta'en care of,
+Commit it to this fellow!
+
+SYRUS (_overhearing_). Who's there? Demea!
+I did not see you, Sir. How goes it?
+
+DEM. How?
+I can't sufficiently admire your conduct.
+
+SYRUS (_negligently_). Silly enough, to say the truth, and idle.
+(_To servants within_). Cleanse you the rest of those fish, Dromo: let
+That large eel play a little in the water.
+When I return it shall be bon'd; till then
+It must not be.
+
+DEM. Are crimes like these----
+
+SYRUS (_to DEMEA_). Indeed
+I like them not, and oft cry shame upon them.
+--(_To servants within._) See that those salt fish are well soak'd,
+    Stephanio.
+
+DEM. Gods! is this done on purpose? Does he think
+'Tis laudable to spoil his son? Alas!
+I think I see the day when AEschinus
+Shall fly for want, and list himself a soldier.
+
+SYRUS. O Demea! that is to be wise: to see,
+Not that alone which lies before your feet,
+But ev'n to pry into futurity.
+
+DEM. What! is the Music-Girl at your house?
+
+SYRUS. Aye,
+Madam's within.
+
+DEM. What! and is AEschinus
+To keep her at home with him?
+
+SYRUS. I believe so;
+Such is their madness.
+
+DEM. Is it possible?
+
+SYRUS. A fond and foolish father!
+
+DEM. I'm asham'd
+To own my brother; I'm griev'd for him.
+
+SYRUS. Ah!
+There is a deal of diff'rence, Demea,
+--Nor is't because you're present that I say this----
+There is a mighty difference between you!
+You are, from top to toe, all over wisdom:
+He a mere dotard.--Would you e'er permit
+Your boy to do such things?
+
+DEM. Permit him? I?
+Or should I not much rather smell him out
+Six months before he did but dream of it?
+
+SYRUS. Pshaw! do you boast your vigilance to me?
+
+DEM. Heav'n keep him ever as he is at present!
+
+SYRUS. As fathers form their children, so they prove.
+
+DEM. But now we're speaking of him, have you seen
+The lad to-day? (_With an affected carelessness._)
+
+SYRUS. Your son d'ye mean?--I'll drive him
+Into the country. (_Aside._)--He is hard at work
+Upon your grounds by this time. (_To DEMEA._)
+
+DEM. Are you sure on't?
+
+SYRUS. Sure? I set out with him myself.
+
+DEM. Good! good!
+I was afraid he loiter'd here. (_Aside._)
+
+SYRUS. And much
+Enrag'd, I promise you.
+
+DEM. On what account?
+
+SYRUS. A quarrel with his brother at the Forum,
+About the Music-Girl.
+
+DEM. Indeed?
+
+SYRUS. Aye, faith:
+He did not mince the matter: he spoke out;
+For as the cash was telling down, in pops,
+All unexpected, Master Ctesipho:
+Cries out--"Oh AEschinus, are these your courses?
+Do you commit these crimes? and do you bring
+Such a disgrace upon our family?"
+
+DEM. Oh, oh, I weep for joy.
+
+SYRUS. ----"You squander not
+The money only, but your life, your honor."
+
+DEM. Heav'n bless him; he is like his ancestors. (_Weeping._)
+
+SYRUS. Father's own son, I warrant him.
+
+DEM. Oh, Syrus!
+He's full of all those precepts, he!
+
+SYRUS. No doubt on't:
+He need not go from home for good instruction.
+
+DEM. I spare no pains; neglect no means; I train him.
+--In short, I bid him look into the lives
+Of all, as in a mirror, and thence draw
+From others an example for himself.
+--"Do this."----
+
+SYRUS. Good!
+
+DEM. "Fly that."
+
+SYRUS. Very good!
+
+DEM. "This deed
+Is commendable."
+
+SYRUS. That's the thing!
+
+DEM. "That's reprehensible."
+
+SYRUS. Most excellent!
+
+DEM. "And then moreover----"
+
+SYRUS. Faith, I have not time
+To give you further audience just at present,
+I've got an admirable dish of fish;
+And I must take good care they are not spoil'd.
+For that were an offense as grievous, Demea,
+In us, as 'twere in you to leave undone
+The things you just now mentioned: and I try,
+According to my weak abilities,
+To teach my fellow-slaves the self-same way.
+--"This is too salt.--This is burnt up too much.
+That is not nice and cleanly.--That's well done.
+Mind, and do so again."--I spare no pains,
+And give them the best precepts that I can.
+In short, I bid them look into the dishes,
+As in a mirror, Demea, and thence learn
+The duty of a cook.--This school of ours,
+I own, is idle: but what can you do?
+According to the man must be the lesson.
+--Would you aught else with us?
+
+DEM. Your reformation.
+
+SYRUS. Do you go hence into the country?
+
+DEM. Straight.
+
+SYRUS. For what should you do here, where nobody,
+However good your precepts, cares to mind them? (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    SYRUS. We've just
+    Disclos'd the whole of this affair to Micio,
+  _Colman 1768_
+    SYRUS. We've just disclos'd
+    The whole of this affair to Micio,
+
+  _Harper_
+    DEM. So! if you'd have your business well ta'en care of,
+  _Colman 1768_
+    DEM. So! if you'd have your business well discharg'd
+
+  _Harper_
+    Cleanse you the rest of those fish, Dromo: let
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Here! Hark ye, Dromo! see you gut and scale
+    The other fish immediately: But let
+
+    SYRUS. As fathers form their children, so they prove.
+  _Harper text reads "as fathers from"
+
+  _Harper_
+    DEM. But now we're speaking of him, have you seen
+    The lad to-day?
+    SYRUS. Your son d'ye mean?--I'll drive him
+    Into the country. --He is hard at work
+    Upon your grounds by this time.
+    DEM. Are you sure on't?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    DEM. But, prithee, have you seen the lad to-day?
+    SYRUS. Your son, d'ye mean?--I'll drive him out of town.
+    He's hard at work upon your grounds by this time.
+    DEM. Ay? Are you sure he's gone into the country?]
+
+  _Harper_
+    Do you commit these crimes? and do you bring
+    Such a disgrace upon our family?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    These your persuits? enormities like these?
+    Oh shame! oh scandal to our family!
+
+  _Harper_
+    Is commendable.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Is highly commendable.]
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _DEMEA alone._
+
+I then will hence, since he, on whose account
+I hither came, is gone into the country.
+_He_ is my only care, _He's_ my concern.
+My brother, since he needs will have it so,
+May look to AEschinus himself.----But who
+Is coming yonder? Hegio, of our tribe?
+If I see plainly, beyond doubt 'tis he.
+Ah, we've been old acquaintance quite from boys;
+And such men nowadays are wondrous scarce.
+A citizen of ancient faith and virtue!
+The commonwealth will ne'er reap harm from him.
+How I rejoice to see but the remains
+Of this old stock! Ah, life's a pleasure now.
+I'll wait, that I may ask about his health,
+And have a little conversation with him.
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _Enter HEGIO, GETA conversing at a distance._
+
+HEGIO. Good Heaven! a most unworthy action, Geta!
+
+GETA. Ev'n so.
+
+HEGIO. A deed so base
+Sprung from that family?--Oh AEschinus,
+I'm sure this was not acting like your father.
+
+DEM. (_behind._) So! he has heard about this Music-Girl,
+And is affected at it, though a stranger,
+While his good father truly thinks it nothing.
+Oh monstrous! would that he were somewhere nigh,
+And heard all this!
+
+HEGIO. Unless they do what's just,
+They shall not carry off the matter thus.
+
+GETA. Our only hope is in you, Hegio.
+You're our sole friend, our guardian, and our father,
+The good old Simulus, on his death-bed
+Bequeath'd us to your care. If you desert us,
+We are undone indeed.
+
+HEGIO. Ah, name it not!
+I will not, and with honesty, I can not.
+
+DEM. I'll go up to him.--Save you, Hegio!
+
+HEGIO. The man I look'd for.--Save you, Demea!
+
+DEM. Your pleasure!
+
+HEGIO. AEschinus, your elder son,
+Adopted by your brother, has committed
+A deed unworthy of an honest man,
+And of a gentleman.
+
+DEM. How so?
+
+HEGIO. You knew
+Our friend and good acquaintance, Simulus?
+
+DEM. Aye, sure.
+
+HEGIO. He has debauch'd his daughter.
+
+DEM. How!
+
+HEGIO. Hold, Demea, for the worst is still to come.
+
+DEM. Is there aught worse?
+
+HEGIO. Much worse: for this perhaps
+Might be excus'd. The night, love, wine, and youth,
+Might prompt him. 'Tis the frailty of our nature.
+--Soon as his sense returning made him conscious
+Of his rash outrage, of his own accord
+He came to the girl's mother, weeping, praying.
+Entreating, vowing constancy, and swearing
+That he would take her home.--He was forgiven;
+The thing conceal'd; and his vows credited.
+The girl from that encounter prov'd with child:
+This is the tenth month.--He, good gentleman,
+Has got a music-girl, Heav'n bless the mark!
+With whom he means to live, and quit the other.
+
+DEM. And are you well assur'd of this?
+
+HEGIO. The mother,
+The girl, the fact itself, are all before you,
+Joining to vouch the truth on't. And besides,
+This Geta here--as servants go, no bad one,
+Nor given up to idleness--maintains them;
+The sole support of all the family.
+Here take him, bind him, force the truth from him.
+
+GETA. Aye, torture me, if 'tis not so, good Demea!
+Nay, AEschinus, I'm sure, will not deny it.
+Bring me before him.
+
+DEM. (_aside_). I'm asham'd: and what
+To do, or what to say to him, I know not.
+
+PAMPHILA (_within_). Ah me! I'm torn in pieces!--Racking pains!
+Juno Lucina, help me! save, I pray thee!
+
+HEGIO. Ha! Is she then in labor, Geta?
+
+GETA. Yes, Sir.
+
+HEGIO. Hark! she now calls upon your justice, Demea!
+Grant her then freely, what law else will claim.
+And Heaven send, that you may rather do
+What honor bids! but if you mean it not,
+Be sure of this; that with my utmost force
+I'll vindicate the girl, and her dead father;
+He was my kinsman; we were bred together
+From children; and our fortunes twin'd together
+In war, and peace, and bitter poverty.
+Wherefore I'll try, endeavor, strive, nay lose
+My life itself, before I will forsake them.
+--What is your answer?
+
+DEM. I'll find out my brother:
+What he advises, I will follow, Hegio.
+
+HEGIO. But still remember, Demea, that the more
+You live at ease; the more your pow'r, your wealth,
+Your riches, and nobility; the more
+It is your duty to act honorably,
+If you regard the name of honest men.
+
+DEM. Go to: we'll do you justice.
+
+HEGIO. 'Twill become you.
+Geta, conduct me in to Sostrata. (_Exit with GETA._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    HEGIO. Good Heaven! a most unworthy action, Geta!
+    GETA. Ev'n so.
+    HEGIO. A deed so base
+    Sprung from that family?--Oh AEschinus,
+    I'm sure this was not acting like your father.
+    DEM. So! he has heard about this Music-Girl,
+  _Colman 1768_
+    HEGIO. Can it be true?
+    GETA. Ev'n so.
+    HEGIO. A deed so base
+    Sprung from that family?--Oh AEschinus,
+    This was not acting like your father.
+    DEM. So!
+    He has just heard about this Musick-Girl,
+
+  _Harper_
+    HEGIO. Unless they do what's just
+  _Colman 1768_
+    HEGIO. Unless they do you justice
+
+  _Harper_
+    The good old Simulus, on his death-bed
+  _Colman 1768_
+    On his death-bed, the good old Simulus
+
+  _Harper_
+    HEGIO. AEschinus, your elder son,
+    Adopted by your brother, has committed
+  _Colman 1768_
+    HEGIO. AEschinus, your elder son,
+    Your brother's by adoption, has committed
+
+    HEGIO. Ha! Is she then in labor, _Geta_?
+  _"Geta" italicized in Harper edition_]
+
+
+SCENE VII.
+
+  _DEMEA alone._
+
+This is no more than I foretold: and well
+If his intemp'rance would stop _here!_--But this
+Immoderate indulgence must produce
+Some terrible misfortune in the end.
+--I'll hence, find out my brother, tell my news,
+And empty all my indignation on him. (_Exit._
+
+
+SCENE VIII.
+
+  _Re-enter HEGIO, speaking to SOSTRATA at the door._
+
+Be of good cheer, my Sostrata; and comfort,
+As much as in your pow'r, poor Pamphila!
+I'll find out Micio, if he's at the Forum,
+And tell him the whole story: if he'll act
+With honor in it, why 'tis well; if not,
+Let him but speak his mind to me, and then
+I shall know how to act accordingly. (_Exit._
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FOURTH.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _CTESIPHO, SYRUS._
+
+CTES. My father gone into the country, say you?
+
+SYRUS. Long since.
+
+CTES. Nay; speak the truth!
+
+SYRUS. He's at his farm,
+And hard at work, I warrant you.
+
+CTES. I wish,
+So that his health were not the worse for it,
+He might so heartily fatigue himself,
+As to be forc'd to keep his bed these three days!
+
+SYRUS. I wish so too; and more, if possible.
+
+CTES. With all my heart: for I would fain consume,
+As I've begun, the livelong day in pleasure.
+Nor do I hate that farm of ours so much
+For any thing, as that it is so near.
+For if 'twas at a greater distance, night
+Would come upon him ere he could return.
+But now, not finding me, I'm very sure
+He'll hobble back again immediately;
+Question me where I've been, that I've not seen him
+All the day long; and what shall I reply?
+
+SYRUS. What? can you think of nothing?
+
+CTES. No, not I.
+
+SYRUS. So much the worse.--Have you no client, friend,
+Or guest?
+
+CTES. I have. What then?
+
+SYRUS. You've been engag'd
+With them.
+
+CTES. When not engag'd? It can not be.
+
+SYRUS. It may.
+
+CTES. Aye, marry, for the day I grant you.
+But if I pass the night here, what excuse
+Then, Syrus?
+
+SYRUS. Ah! I would it were the custom
+To be engag'd at night too with one's friends!
+--But be at ease! I know his mind so well,
+That when he raves the loudest, I can make him
+As gentle as a lamb.
+
+CTES. How so?
+
+SYRUS. He loves
+To hear you prais'd. I sing your praises to him,
+And make you out a little God.
+
+CTES. Me!
+
+SYRUS. You.
+And then the old man blubbers like a child,
+For very joy.--But have a care! (_Looking out._)
+
+CTES. What now?
+
+SYRUS. The wolf i' th' fable!
+
+CTES. What, my father?
+
+SYRUS. He.
+
+CTES. What's the best, Syrus?
+
+SYRUS. In! fly! I'll take care.
+
+CTES. You have not seen me, if he asks: d'ye hear?
+
+SYRUS. Can't you be quiet? (_Pushes out CTESIPHO._)
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter DEMEA at another part of the stage._
+
+DEM. Verily I am
+A most unhappy man! for first of all,
+I can not find my brother any where:
+And then besides, in looking after him,
+I chanc'd on one of my day laborers,
+Who had but newly left my farm, and told me
+Ctesipho was not there. What shall I do?
+
+  {_CTESIPHO and SYRUS apart._}
+
+CTES. (_peeping out._) Syrus?
+
+SYRUS. What?
+
+CTES. Does he seek me?
+
+SYRUS. Yes.
+
+CTES. Undone!
+
+SYRUS. Courage!
+
+DEM. (_to himself_). Plague on it, what ill luck is this?
+I can't account for it: but I believe
+That I was born for nothing but misfortunes.
+I am the first who feels our woes; the first
+Who knows of them; the first who tells the news:
+And come what may, I bear the weight alone.
+
+SYRUS (_behind_). Ridiculous! he says he knows all first;
+And he alone is ignorant of all.
+
+DEM. I'm now return'd to see if Micio
+Be yet come home again.
+
+  {_CTESIPHO and SYRUS apart._}
+
+CTES. (_peeping out_). Take care, good Syrus,
+He don't rush in upon us unawares!
+
+SYRUS. Peace! I'll take care.
+
+CTES. 'Faith, I'll not trust to you,
+But shut myself and her in some by-place
+Together: that's the safest.
+
+SYRUS. Well, away! (_CTESIPHO disappears._)
+I'll drive the old man hence, I warrant you.
+
+DEM. (_seeing SYRUS_). But see that rascal Syrus coming hither!
+
+SYRUS (_advancing hastily, and pretending not to see DEMEA_).
+By Hercules, there is no living here,
+For any one, at this rate.--I'd fain know
+How many masters I'm to have.--Oh monstrous!
+
+DEM. What does he howl for? what's the meaning on't?
+Hark ye, my good Sir! prithee tell me if
+My brother be at home.
+
+SYRUS. _My good Sir!_ Plague!
+Why do you come with your _good Sirs_ to me?
+I'm half-kill'd.
+
+DEM. What's the matter?
+
+SYRUS. What's the matter!
+Ctesipho, vengeance on him, fell upon me,
+And cudgel'd me and the poor Music-Girl
+Almost to death.
+
+DEM. Indeed?
+
+SYRUS. Indeed. Nay see
+How he has cut my lip. (_Pretending to show it._)
+
+DEM. On what account?
+
+SYRUS. The girl, he says, was bought by my advice.
+
+DEM. Did not you say you saw him out of town
+A little while ago?
+
+SYRUS. And so I did.
+But he came back soon after, like a madman.
+He had no mercy.--Was not he asham'd
+To beat a poor old fellow? to beat me;
+Who bore him in my arms but t'other day,
+An urchin thus high? (_Showing._)
+
+DEM. Oh rare, Ctesipho!
+Father's own son! a man, I warrant him.
+
+SYRUS. Oh rare, d'ye cry? I' faith, if he is wise,
+He'll hold his hands another time.
+
+DEM. Oh brave!
+
+SYRUS. Oh mighty brave, indeed!--Because he beat
+A helpless girl, and me a wretched slave,
+Who durst not strike again;--oh, to be sure,
+Mighty brave, truly!
+
+DEM. Oh, most exquisite!
+My Ctesipho perceived, as well as I,
+That you was the contriver of this business.
+--But is my brother here?
+
+SYRUS. Not he. (_Sulkily._)
+
+DEM. I'm thinking
+Where I shall seek him.
+
+SYRUS. I know where he is:
+But I'll not tell.
+
+DEM. How, Sirrah?
+
+SYRUS. Even so.
+
+DEM. I'll break your head.
+
+SYRUS. I can not tell the name
+Of him he's gone to, but I know the place.
+
+DEM. Well, where's the place?
+
+SYRUS. D'ye know the Portico
+Just by the market, down this way? (_Pointing._)
+
+DEM. I do.
+
+SYRUS. Go up that street; keep straight along: and then
+You'll see a hill; go straight down that: and then
+On this hand, there's a chapel; and just by
+A narrow lane. (_Pointing._)
+
+DEM. Where? (_Looking._)
+
+SYRUS. There; by the great wild fig-tree.
+D'ye know it, Sir?
+
+DEM. I do.
+
+SYRUS. Go through that lane.
+
+DEM. That lane's no thoroughfare.
+
+SYRUS. Aye, very true:
+No more it is, Sir.--What a fool I am!
+I was mistaken--You must go quite back
+Into the portico; and after all,
+This is the nearest and the safest way.
+--D'ye know Cratinus' house? the rich man?
+
+DEM. Aye.
+
+SYRUS. When you've pass'd that, turn short upon the left.
+Keep straight along that street, and when you reach
+Diana's Temple, turn upon the right.
+And then, on this side of the city gate,
+Just by the pond, there is a baker's shop,
+And opposite a joiner's.--There he is.
+
+DEM. What business has he there?
+
+SYRUS. He has bespoke
+Some tables to be made with oaken legs
+To stand the sun.
+
+DEM. For you to drink upon.
+Oh brave! But I lose time. I'll after him.
+                        (_Exit hastily._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    SYRUS. Go up that street; keep straight along: and then
+  _Colman 1768_
+    SYRUS. Go straight along that street: and at the end]
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _SYRUS alone._
+
+Aye, go your ways! I'll work your old shrunk shanks
+As you deserve, old Drybones!--AEschinus
+Loiters intolerably. Dinner's spoil'd.
+Ctesipho thinks of nothing but his girl.
+'Tis time for me to look to myself too.
+Faith, then I'll in immediately; pick out
+All the tid-bits, and tossing off my cups,
+In lazy leisure lengthen out the day. (_Exit._
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Enter MICIO and HEGIO._
+
+MICIO. I can see nothing in this matter, Hegio,
+Wherein I merit so much commendation.
+'Tis but my duty, to redress the wrongs
+That we have caus'd: unless perhaps you took me
+For one of those who, having injur'd you,
+Term fair expostulation an affront;
+And having first offended, are the first
+To turn accusers.--I've not acted thus:
+And is't for this that I am thank'd?
+
+HEGIO. Ah, no;
+I never thought you other than you are.
+But let me beg you, Micio, go with me
+To the young woman's mother, and repeat
+Yourself to her what you have just told me:
+--That the suspicion, fall'n on AEschinus,
+Sprung from his brother and the Music-Girl.
+
+MICIO. If you believe I ought, or think it needful,
+Let's go!
+
+HEGIO. 'Tis very kind in you: for thus
+You'll raise her spirit drooping with the load
+Of grief and misery, and have perform'd
+Ev'ry good office of benevolence.
+But if you like it not, I'll go myself,
+And tell her the whole story.
+
+MICIO. No, I'll go.
+
+HEGIO. 'Tis good and tender in your nature, Micio.
+For they, whose fortunes are less prosperous,
+Are all I know not how, the more suspicious;
+And think themselves neglected and contemn'd,
+Because of their distress and poverty.
+Wherefore I think 'twould satisfy them more
+If you would clear up this affair yourself.
+
+MICIO. What you have said is just, and very true.
+
+HEGIO. Let me conduct you in!
+
+MICIO. With all my heart. (_Exeunt._
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _AESCHINUS alone._
+
+Oh torture to my mind! that this misfortune
+Should come thus unexpectedly upon me!
+I know not what to do, which way to turn.
+Fear shakes my limbs, amazement fills my soul,
+And in my breast despair shuts out all counsel.
+Ah, by what means can I acquit myself?
+Such a suspicion is now fallen on me;
+And that too grounded on appearances.
+Sostrata thinks that on my own account
+I bought the Music-Girl. That's plain enough
+From the old nurse. For meeting her by chance,
+As she was sent from hence to call a midwife,
+I ran, and ask'd her of my Pamphila.
+--"Is she in labor? are you going now
+To call a midwife?"--"Go, go, AEschinus!
+Away, you have deceiv'd us long enough,
+Fool'd us enough with your fine promises,"
+Cried she.--"What now?" says I.--"Farewell, enjoy
+The girl that you're so taken with!"--I saw
+Immediately their cause of jealousy:
+Yet I contain'd myself, nor would disclose
+My brother's business to a tattling gossip,
+By whom the knowledge on't might be betray'd.
+--But what shall I do now? shall I confess
+The girl to be my brother's; an affair
+Which should by no means be reveal'd?--But not
+To dwell on that.--Perhaps they'd not disclose it.
+Nay, I much doubt if they would credit it:
+So many proofs concur against myself.----
+I bore her off: I paid the money down;
+She was brought home to me.--All this, I own,
+Is my own fault. For should I not have told
+My father, be it as it might, the whole?
+I should, I doubt not, have obtain'd his leave
+To marry Pamphila.--What indolence,
+Ev'n, till this hour! now, AEschinus, awake!
+--But first I'll go and clear myself to them.
+I'll to the door. (_Goes up._) Confusion! how I tremble!
+How guilty like I seem when I approach
+This house! (_Knocks._) Holloa! within! 'Tis I;
+'Tis AEschinus. Come, open somebody
+The door immediately!--Who's here? A stranger!
+I'll step aside. (_Retires._)
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _Enter MICIO._
+
+MICIO (_to SOSTRATA, within_). Do as I have told you, Sostrata.
+I'll find out AEschinus, and tell him all.
+--But who knock'd at the door? (_Coming forward._)
+
+AESCH. (_behind_). By Heav'n, my father!
+Confusion!
+
+MICIO (_seeing him_). AEschinus!
+
+AESCH. What does he here? (_Aside._)
+
+MICIO. Was't you that knock'd? What, not a word! Suppose
+I banter him a little. He deserves it,
+For never trusting this affair to me. (_Aside._)
+--Why don't you speak?
+
+AESCH. Not I, as I remember. (_Disordered._)
+
+MICIO. No, I dare say, not you: for I was wond'ring
+What business could have brought you here.--He blushes.
+All's safe, I find. (_Aside._)
+
+AESCH. (_recovering._) But prithee, tell me, Sir,
+What brought you here?
+
+MICIO. No business of my own.
+But a friend drew me hither from the Forum,
+To be his advocate.
+
+AESCH. In what?
+
+MICIO. I'll tell you.
+This house is tenanted by some poor women,
+Whom, I believe, you know not;--Nay, I'm sure on't,
+For 'twas but lately they came over hither.
+
+AESCH. Well?
+
+MICIO. A young woman and her mother.
+
+AESCH. Well?
+
+MICIO. The father's dead.--This friend of mine, it seems,
+Being her next relation, by the law
+Is forc'd to marry her.
+
+AESCH. Confusion! (_Aside._)
+
+MICIO. How?
+
+AESCH. Nothing.--Well?--pray go on, Sir!----
+
+MICIO. He's now come
+To take her home, for he is of Miletus.
+
+AESCH. How! take her home with him?
+
+MICIO. Yes, take her home.
+
+AESCH. What, to Miletus?
+
+MICIO. Aye.
+
+AESCH. Oh torture! (_Aside._)-- Well?
+What say the women?
+
+MICIO. Why, what should they? Nothing.
+Indeed the mother has devis'd a tale
+About her daughter's having had a child
+By some one else, but never mentions whom:
+His claim, she says, is prior; and my friend
+Ought not to have her.
+
+AESCH. Well? and did not this
+Seem a sufficient reason?
+
+MICIO. No.
+
+AESCH. No, Sir?
+And shall this next relation take her off?
+
+MICIO. Aye, to be sure: why not?
+
+AESCH. Oh barbarous, cruel!
+And to speak plainly, Sir--ungenerous!
+
+MICIO. Why so?
+
+AESCH. Why so, Sir?--What d'ye think
+Will come of him, the poor unhappy youth
+Who was connected with her first--who still
+Loves her, perhaps, as dearly as his life;----
+When he shall see her torn out of his arms,
+And borne away forever?--Oh shame, shame!
+
+MICIO. Where is the shame on't?--Who betroth'd, who gave her?
+When was she married? and to whom? Where is he,
+And wherefore did he wed another's right?
+
+AESCH. Was it for her, a girl of such an age,
+To sit at home, expecting till a kinsman
+Came, nobody knows whence, to marry her?
+--This, Sir, it was your business to have said,
+And to have dwelt on it.
+
+MICIO. Ridiculous!
+Should I have pleaded against him to whom
+I came an advocate?--But after all,
+What's this affair to us? or, what have we
+To do with them? let's go!--Ha! why those tears?
+
+AESCH. Father, beseech you, hear me!
+
+MICIO. AEschinus,
+I have heard all, and I know all, already:
+For I do love you; wherefore all your actions
+Touch me the more.
+
+AESCH. So may you ever love me,
+And so may I deserve your love, my father,
+As I am sorry to have done this fault,
+And am asham'd to see you!
+
+MICIO. I believe it;
+For well I know you have a liberal mind:
+But I'm afraid you are too negligent,
+For in what city do you think you live?
+You have abus'd a virgin, whom the law
+Forbade your touching.--'Twas a fault, a great one;
+But yet a natural failing. Many others,
+Some not bad men, have often done the same.
+--But after this event, can you pretend
+You took the least precaution? or consider'd
+What should be done, or how?--If shame forbade
+Your telling me yourself, you should have found
+Some other means to let me know of it.
+Lost in these doubts, ten months have slipp'd away.
+You have betray'd, as far as in you lay,
+Yourself, the poor young woman, and your child.
+What! did you think the Gods would bring about
+This business in your sleep; and that your wife,
+Without your stir, would be convey'd to you
+Into your bed-chamber?--I would not have you
+Thus negligent in other matters.--Come,
+Cheer up, son! you shall wed her.
+
+AESCH. How!
+
+MICIO. Cheer up,
+I say!
+
+AESCH. Nay, prithee, do not mock me, father!
+
+MICIO. Mock you? I? wherefore?
+
+AESCH. I don't know; unless
+That I so much desire it may be true,
+I therefore fear it more.
+
+MICIO. --Away; go home;
+And pray the Gods, that you may call your wife
+Away!
+
+AESCH. How's that? my wife? what! now?
+
+MICIO. Now.
+
+AESCH. Now?
+
+MICIO. Ev'n now, as soon as possible.
+
+AESCH. May all
+The Gods desert me, Sir, but I do love you,
+More than my eyes!
+
+MICIO. Than her?
+
+AESCH. As well.
+
+MICIO. That's much.
+
+AESCH. But where is that Milesian?
+
+MICIO. Gone:
+Vanish'd: on board the ship.--But why d'ye loiter?
+
+AESCH. Ah, Sir, you rather go, and pray the Gods;
+For, being a much better man than I,
+They will the sooner hear your pray'rs.
+
+MICIO. I'll in,
+To see the needful preparations made.
+You, if you're wise, do as I said. (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+    More than my eyes!
+  _Harper edition has question mark_
+
+
+SCENE VII.
+
+  _AESCHINUS alone._
+
+How's this?
+Is this to be a father? Or is this
+To be a son?--Were he my friend or brother,
+Could he be more complacent to my wish?
+Should I not love him? bear him in my bosom!
+Ah! his great kindness has so wrought upon me,
+That it shall be the study of my life
+To shun all follies, lest they give him pain.
+--But I'll in straight, that I may not retard
+My marriage by my own delay. (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    --But I'll in straight, that I may not retard
+    My marriage by my own delay.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    But wherefore do I loiter here, and thus
+    Retard my marriage by my own delay?
+
+
+SCENE VIII.
+
+  _DEMEA alone._
+
+I'm tir'd
+With walking.--Now great Jove confound you, Syrus;
+You and your blind directions! I have crawl'd
+All the town over: to the gate; the pond;
+Where not? No sign of any shop was there,
+Nor any person who had seen my brother.
+--Now I'll in, therefore, and set up my rest
+In his own house, till he comes home again. (_Going._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    I'm tir'd
+    With walking.--Now great Jove confound you, Syrus;
+  _Colman 1768_
+    I've walk'd, and walk'd, till I'm quite tir'd with walking.
+    --Almighty Jove confound you, Syrus, I say;]
+
+
+SCENE IX.
+
+  _Enter MICIO._
+
+MICIO. I'll go and let the women know we're ready.
+
+DEM. But here he is.--I have long sought you, Micio.
+
+MICIO. What now?
+
+DEM. I bring you more offenses: great ones;
+Of that sweet youth----
+
+MICIO. See there!
+
+DEM. New; capital!
+
+MICIO. Nay, nay, no more!
+
+DEM. Ah, you don't know----
+
+MICIO. I do.
+
+DEM. O fool, you think I mean the Music-Girl.
+This is a rape upon a citizen.
+
+MICIO. I know it.
+
+DEM. How? d'ye know it, and endure it?
+
+MICIO. Why not endure it?
+
+DEM. Tell me, don't you rave?
+Don't you go mad?
+
+MICIO. No: to be sure I'd rather----
+
+DEM. There's a child born.
+
+MICIO. Heav'n bless it!
+
+DEM. And the girl
+Has nothing.
+
+MICIO. I have heard so.
+
+DEM. And is he
+To marry her without a fortune?
+
+MICIO. Aye.
+
+DEM. What's to be done then?
+
+MICIO. What the case requires.
+The girl shall be brought over here.
+
+DEM. Oh Jove!
+Can that be proper?
+
+MICIO. What can I do else?
+
+DEM. What can you do!--If you're not really griev'd,
+It were at least your duty to appear so.
+
+MICIO. I have contracted the young woman to him:
+The thing is settled: 'tis their wedding-day:
+And all their apprehensions I've remov'd.
+This is still more my duty.
+
+DEM. Are you pleas'd then
+With this adventure, Micio?
+
+MICIO. Not at all,
+If I could help it: now 'tis past all cure,
+I bear it patiently. The life of man
+Is like a game at tables. If the cast
+Which is most necessary be not thrown,
+That which chance sends you must correct by art.
+
+DEM. Oh rare _Corrector!_--By your _art_ no less
+Than twenty minae have been thrown away
+On yonder Music-wench; who out of hand,
+Must be sent packing; if no buyer, gratis.
+
+MICIO. Not in the least; nor do I mean to sell her.
+
+DEM. What will you do, then?
+
+MICIO. Keep her in my house.
+
+DEM. Oh Heav'n and earth! a harlot and a wife
+In the same house!
+
+MICIO. Why not?
+
+DEM. Have you your wits?
+
+MICIO. Truly I think so.
+
+DEM. Now, so help me Heav'n,
+Seeing your folly, I believe you keep her
+To sing with you.
+
+MICIO. Why not?
+
+DEM. And the young bride
+Shall be her pupil?
+
+MICIO. To be sure.
+
+DEM. And you
+Dance hand in hand with them?
+
+MICIO. Aye.
+
+DEM. Aye?
+
+MICIO. And you
+Make one among us too upon occasion.
+
+DEM. Ah! are you not asham'd on't?
+
+MICIO. Patience, Demea!
+Lay by your wrath, and seem, as it becomes you,
+Cheerful and free of heart at your son's wedding.
+--I'll but speak with the bride and Sostrata,
+And then return to you immediately. (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    --I'll but speak with the bride and Sostrata
+  _Colman 1768_
+    --I'll go and warn the bride and Sostrata]
+
+
+SCENE X.
+
+  _DEMEA alone._
+
+Jove, what a life! what manners! what distraction!
+A bride just coming home without a portion;
+A Music-Girl already there in keeping:
+A house of waste; the youth a libertine;
+Th' old man a dotard!--'Tis not in the pow'r
+Of Providence herself, howe'er desirous,
+To save from ruin such a family.
+
+
+SCENE XI.
+
+  _Enter at a distance SYRUS, drunk._
+
+SYRUS. (_to himself_). Faith, little Syrus, you've ta'en special care
+Of your sweet self, and play'd your part most rarely.
+--Well, go your ways:--but having had my fill
+Of ev'ry thing within, I've now march'd forth
+To take a turn or two abroad.
+
+DEM. (_behind_). Look there!
+A pattern of instruction!
+
+SYRUS. (_seeing him_). But see there:
+Yonder's old Demea. (_Going up to him._) What's the matter now?
+And why so melancholy?
+
+DEM. Oh thou villain!
+
+SYRUS. What! are you spouting sentences, old wisdom?
+
+DEM. Were you my servant----
+
+SYRUS. You'd be plaguy rich,
+And settle your affairs most wonderfully.
+
+DEM. I'd make you an example.
+
+SYRUS. Why? for what?
+
+DEM. Why, Sirrah?--In the midst of the disturbance,
+And in the heat of a most heavy crime,
+While all is yet confusion, you've got drunk,
+As if for joy, you rascal!
+
+SYRUS. Why the plague
+Did not I keep within? (_Aside._)
+
+
+SCENE XII.
+
+  _Enter DROMO, hastily._
+
+DROMO. Here! hark ye, Syrus!
+Ctesipho begs that you'd come back.
+
+SYRUS. Away! (_Pushes him off._)
+
+DEM. What's this he says of Ctesipho?
+
+SYRUS. Pshaw! nothing.
+
+DEM. How! dog, is Ctesipho within?
+
+SYRUS. Not he.
+
+DEM. Why does he name him then?
+
+SYRUS. It is another.
+Of the same name--a little parasite----
+D'ye know him?
+
+DEM. But I will immediately. (_Going._)
+
+SYRUS. (_stopping him_). What now? where now?
+
+  {_DEMEA and SYRUS struggling._}
+
+DEM. Let me alone.
+
+SYRUS. Don't go!
+
+DEM. Hands off! what won't you? must I brain you, rascal?
+    (_Disengages himself from SYRUS, and Exit._
+
+
+SCENE XIII.
+
+  _SYRUS alone._
+
+He's gone--gone in--and faith no welcome roarer----
+--Especially to Ctesipho.--But what
+Can I do now; unless, till this blows over,
+I sneak into some corner, and sleep off
+This wine that lies upon my head?--I'll do't.
+                                  (_Exit reeling._
+
+
+SCENE XIV.
+
+  _Enter MICIO from SOSTRATA._
+
+MICIO. (_to SOSTRATA within_).
+All is prepar'd: and we are ready, Sostrata,
+As I have already told you, when you please. (_Comes forward._)
+But who's this forces open our street door
+With so much violence?
+
+_Enter DEMEA on t'other side._
+
+DEM. Confusion! death!
+What shall I do? or how resolve? where vent
+My cries and exclamations? Heav'n! Earth! Sea!
+
+MICIO (_behind._) So! all's discover'd: that's the thing he raves at.
+--Now for a quarrel!--I must help the boy.
+
+DEM. (_seeing him._) Oh, there's the grand corrupter of our children!
+
+MICIO. Appease your wrath, and be yourself again!
+
+DEM. Well, I've appeas'd it; I'm myself again;
+I spare reproaches; let us to the point!
+It was agreed between us, and it was
+Your own proposal too, that you should never
+Concern yourself with Ctesipho, nor I
+With AEschinus. Say, was't not so?
+
+MICIO. It was.
+I don't deny it.
+
+DEM. Why does Ctesipho
+Revel with you then? Why do you receive him?
+Buy him a mistress, Micio?--Is not justice
+My due from you, as well as yours from me?
+Since I do not concern myself with yours,
+Meddle not you with mine!
+
+MICIO. This is not fair;
+Indeed it is not. Think on the old saying,
+"All things are common among friends."
+
+DEM. How smart!
+Put off with quips and sentences at last!
+
+MICIO. Nay, hear me, if you can have patience, Demea.
+--First, if you're griev'd at their extravagance,
+Let this reflection calm you! Formerly,
+You bred them both according to your fortune,
+Supposing it sufficient for them both:
+Then too you thought that I should take a wife.
+Still follow the old rule you then laid down:
+Hoard, scrape, and save; do ev'ry thing you can
+To leave them nobly! Be that glory yours.
+My fortune, fall'n beyond their hopes upon them,
+Let them use freely! As your capital
+Will not be wasted, what addition comes
+From mine, consider as clear gain: and thus,
+Weighing all this impartially, you'll spare
+Yourself, and me, and them, a world of trouble.
+
+DEM. Money is not the thing: their morals----
+
+MICIO. Hold!
+I understand; and meant to speak of that.
+There are in nature sundry marks, good Demea,
+By which you may conjecture easily,
+That when two persons do the self-same thing,
+It oftentimes falls out that in the one
+'Tis criminal, in t'other 'tis not so:
+Not that the thing itself is different,
+But he who does it.--In these youths I see
+The marks of virtue; and, I trust, they'll prove
+Such as we wish them. They have sense, I know;
+Attention; in its season, liberal shame;
+And fondness for each other; all sure signs
+Of an ingenuous mind and noble nature:
+And though they stray, you may at any time
+Reclaim them.--But perhaps you fear they'll prove
+Too inattentive to their interest.
+Oh my dear Demea, in all matters else
+Increase of years increases wisdom in us:
+This only vice age brings along with it;
+"We're all more worldly-minded than there's need:"
+Which passion age, that kills all passions else,
+Will ripen in your sons too.
+
+DEM. Have a care
+That these fine arguments and this great mildness
+Don't prove the ruin of us, Micio.
+
+MICIO. Peace!
+It shall not be: away with all your fears!
+This day be rul'd by me: come, smooth your brow.
+
+DEM. Well, since at present things are so, I must,
+But then I'll to the country with my son
+To-morrow, at first peep of day.
+
+MICIO. At midnight,
+So you'll but smile to-day.
+
+DEM. And that wench too
+I'll drag away with me.
+
+MICIO. Aye; there you've hit it.
+For by that means you'll keep your son at home;
+Do but secure her.
+
+DEM. I'll see that: for there
+I'll put her in the kitchen and the mill,
+And make her full of ashes, smoke, and meal:
+Nay at high noon too she shall gather stubble.
+I'll burn her up, and make her black as coal.
+
+MICIO. Right! now you're wise.--And then I'd make my son
+Go to bed to her, though against his will.
+
+DEM. D'ye laugh at me? how happy in your temper!
+I feel----
+
+MICIO. Ah! that again?
+
+DEM. I've done.
+
+MICIO. In then!
+And let us suit our humor to the time. (_Exeunt._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    By which you may conjecture easily,
+    That when two persons do the self-same thing,
+    It oftentimes falls out that in the one
+    'Tis criminal, in t'other 'tis not so:
+  _Colman 1768_
+    By which you may conjecture of men's minds;
+    And when two persons do the self-same thing,
+    May oftentimes pronounce, that in the one
+    'Tis dangerous, in t'other 'tis not so]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FIFTH.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _DEMEA alone._
+
+Never did man lay down so fair a plan,
+So wise a rule of life, but fortune, age,
+Or long experience made some change in it;
+And taught him that those things he thought he knew
+He did not know, and what he held as best,
+In practice he threw by. The very thing
+That happens to myself. For that hard life
+Which I have ever led, my race near run,
+Now in the last stage, I renounce: and why?
+But that by dear experience I've been told,
+There's nothing so advantages a man
+As mildness and complacency. Of this
+My brother and myself are living proofs:
+He always led an easy, cheerful life;
+Good-humor'd, mild, offending nobody,
+Smiling on all; a jovial bachelor,
+His whole expenses centred in himself.
+I, on the contrary, rough, rigid, cross,
+Saving, morose, and thrifty, took a wife:
+--What miseries did marriage bring!--had children;
+--A new uneasiness!--and then besides,
+Striving all ways to make a fortune for them,
+I have worn out my prime of life and health:
+And now, my course near finish'd, what return
+Do I receive for all my toil? Their hate.
+Meanwhile my brother, without any care,
+Reaps all a father's comforts. Him they love,
+Me they avoid: to him they open all
+Their secret counsels; doat on him; and both
+Repair to him; while I am quite forsaken.
+His life they pray for, but expect my death.
+Thus those, brought up by my exceeding labor,
+He, at a small expense, has made his own:
+The care all mine, and all the pleasure his.
+--Well then, let me endeavor in my turn
+To teach my tongue civility, to give
+With open-handed generosity,
+Since I am challeng'd to't!--and let me too
+Obtain the love and reverence of my children!
+And if 'tis bought by bounty and indulgence,
+I will not be behind-hand.--Cash will fail:
+What's that to me, who am the eldest born?
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter SYRUS._
+
+SYRUS. Oh Sir! your brother has dispatch'd me to you
+To beg you'd not go further off.
+
+DEM. Who's there?----
+What, honest Syrus! save you: how is't with you?
+How goes it?
+
+SYRUS. Very well, Sir.
+
+DEM. (_aside._) Excellent!
+Now for the first time, I, against my nature,
+Have added these three phrases, "Honest Syrus!----
+How is't?--How goes it?"-- (_To SYRUS._) You have prov'd yourself
+A worthy servant. I'll reward you for it.
+
+SYRUS. I thank you, Sir.
+
+DEM. I will, I promise you;
+And you shall be convinc'd on't very soon.
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Enter GETA._
+
+GETA (_to SOSTRATA within_). Madam, I'm going to look after them,
+That they may call the bride immediately.
+--But here is Demea. Save you!
+
+DEM. Oh! your name?
+
+GETA. Geta, Sir.
+
+DEM. Geta, I this day have found you
+To be a fellow of uncommon worth:
+For sure that servant's faith is well approv'd
+Who holds his master's interest at heart,
+As I perceiv'd that you did, Geta! wherefore,
+Soon as occasion offers, I'll reward you.
+--I am endeavoring to be affable,
+And not without success. (_Aside._)
+
+GETA. 'Tis kind in you
+To think of your poor slave, Sir.
+
+DEM. (_aside._) First of all
+I court the mob, and win them by degrees.
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Enter AESCHINUS._
+
+AESCH. They murder me with their delays; and while
+They lavish all this pomp upon the nuptials,
+They waste the livelong day in preparation.
+
+DEM. How does my son?
+
+AESCH. My father! are you here?
+
+DEM. Aye, by affection, and by blood your father,
+Who love you better than my eyes.--But why
+Do you not call the bride?
+
+AESCH. 'Tis what I long for:
+But wait the music and the singers.
+
+DEM. Pshaw!
+Will you for once be rul'd by an old fellow?
+
+AESCH. Well?
+
+DEM. Ne'er mind singers, company, lights, music;
+But tell them to throw down the garden-wall,
+As soon as possible. Convey the bride
+That way, and lay both houses into one.
+Bring too the mother, and whole family,
+Over to us.
+
+AESCH. I will. O charming father!
+
+DEM. (_aside_). _Charming!_ See there! he calls me _charming_ now.
+--My brother's house will be a thoroughfare;
+Throng'd with whole crowds of people; much expense
+Will follow; very much: what's that to me?
+I am call'd _charming_, and get into favor.
+--Ho! order Babylo immediately
+To pay him twenty minae.--Prithee, Syrus,
+Why don't you execute your orders?
+
+SYRUS. What?
+
+DEM. Down with the wall!-- (_Exit SYRUS._) You, Geta, go and bring
+The ladies over.
+
+GETA. Heaven bless you, Demea,
+For all your friendship to our family! (_Exit GETA._
+
+DEM. They're worthy of it.--What say you to this?
+(_To AESCHINUS._)
+
+AESCH. I think it admirable.
+
+DEM. 'Tis much better
+Than for a poor soul, sick, and lying-in,
+To be conducted through the street.
+
+AESCH. I never
+Saw any thing concerted better, Sir.
+
+DEM. 'Tis just my way.--But here comes Micio.
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _Enter MICIO._
+
+MICIO (_at entering._) My brother order it, d'ye say? where is he?
+--Was this your order, Demea?
+
+DEM. 'Twas my order:
+And by this means, and every other way,
+I would unite, serve, cherish, and oblige,
+And join the family to ours!
+
+AESCH. Pray do, Sir! (_To MICIO._)
+
+MICIO. I don't oppose it.
+
+DEM. Nay, but 'tis our duty.
+First, there's the mother of the bride----
+
+MICIO. What then?
+
+DEM. Worthy and modest.
+
+MICIO. So they say.
+
+DEM. In years.
+
+MICIO. True.
+
+DEM. And so far advanc'd, that she is long
+Past child-bearing, a poor lone woman too,
+With none to comfort her.
+
+MICIO. What means all this?
+
+DEM. This woman 'tis your place to marry, brother;
+--And yours (_to AESCHINUS_) to bring him to't.
+
+MICIO. I marry her?
+
+DEM. You.
+
+MICIO. I?
+
+DEM. Yes, you I say.
+
+MICIO. Ridiculous!
+
+DEM. (_to AESCHINUS_). If you're a man, he'll do't.
+
+AESCH. (_to MICIO_). Dear father!
+
+MICIO. How!
+Do you then join him, fool?
+
+DEM. Nay, don't deny.
+It can't be otherwise.
+
+MICIO. You've lost your senses!
+
+AESCH. Let me prevail upon you, Sir!
+
+MICIO. You're mad.
+Away!
+
+DEM. Oblige your son.
+
+MICIO. Have you your wits?
+I a new married man at sixty-five!
+And marry a decrepit poor old woman!
+Is that what you advise me!
+
+AESCH. Do it, Sir!
+I've promis'd them.
+
+MICIO. You've promis'd them, indeed!
+Prithee, boy, promise for yourself.
+
+DEM. Come, come!
+What if he ask'd still more of you?
+
+MICIO. As if
+This was not ev'n the utmost.
+
+DEM. Nay, comply!
+
+AESCH. Be not obdurate!
+
+DEM. Come, come, promise him.
+
+MICIO. Won't you desist?
+
+AESCH. No, not till I prevail.
+
+MICIO. This is mere force.
+
+DEM. Nay, nay, comply, good Micio!
+
+MICIO. Though this appears to me absurd, wrong, foolish,
+And quite repugnant to my scheme of life,
+Yet, if you're so much bent on't, let it be!
+
+AESCH. Obliging father, worthy my best love!
+
+DEM. (_aside_). What now?--This answers to my wish.--What more?
+--Hegio's their kinsman (_to MICIO_), our relation too,
+And very poor. We should do him some service.
+
+MICIO. Do what?
+
+DEM. There is a little piece of ground,
+Which you let out near town. Let's give it him
+To live upon.
+
+MICIO. So little, do you call it?
+
+DEM. Well, if 'tis large, let's give it. He has been
+Father to her; a good man; our relation.
+It will be given worthily. In short,
+That saying, Micio, I now make my own,
+Which you so lately and so wisely quoted;
+"It is the common failing of old men
+To be too much intent on worldly matters."
+Let us wipe off that stain. The saying's true,
+And should be practic'd.
+
+MICIO. Well, well; be it so,
+If he requires it. (_Pointing to AESCHINUS._)
+
+AESCH. I beseech it, father.
+
+DEM. Now you're indeed my brother, soul and body.
+
+MICIO. I'm glad to find you think me so.
+
+DEM. I foil him
+At his own weapons. (_Aside._)
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    [Demea's entire speech, beginning
+    Well, if 'tis large ...]
+  _Colman 1768_
+    DEM. Well, if 'tis large, let's give it. He has been
+    A father to the bride; a worthy man;
+    Our kinsman too. It will be well bestow'd.
+    In short, that saying I now make my own,
+    Which you but now so wisely quoted, Micio;
+    "It is the common failing of old men
+    To be too much intent on worldly matters."
+    Let us wipe off that stain. The saying's true,
+    And worthy notice.]
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _To them SYRUS._
+
+SYRUS. I have executed
+Your orders, Demea.
+
+DEM. A good fellow!----Truly
+Syrus, I think, should be made free to-day.
+
+MICIO. Made free! He!----Wherefore?
+
+DEM. Oh, for many reasons.
+
+SYRUS. Oh Demea, you're a noble gentleman.
+I've taken care of both your sons from boys;
+Taught them, instructed them, and given them
+The wholesomest advice that I was able.
+
+DEM. The thing's apparent: and these offices,
+To cater;--bring a wench in, safe and snug;
+--Or in mid-day prepare an entertainment;----
+All these are talents of no common man.
+
+SYRUS. Oh most delightful gentleman!
+
+DEM. Besides,
+He has been instrumental too this day
+In purchasing the Music-Girl. He manag'd
+The whole affair. We should reward him for it.
+It will encourage others.--In a word,
+Your AEschinus would have it so.
+
+MICIO. Do you
+Desire it?
+
+AESCH. Yes, Sir.
+
+MICIO. Well, if you desire it----
+Come hither, Syrus!--Be thou free! (_SYRUS kneels; MICIO strikes him,
+    being the ceremony of manumission, or giving a slave his freedom._)
+
+SYRUS. I thank you:
+Thanks to you all; but most of all, to Demea!
+
+DEM. I'm glad of your good fortune.
+
+AESCH. So am I.
+
+SYRUS. I do believe it; and I wish this joy
+Were quite complete, and I might see my wife,
+My Phrygia too, made free, as well as I.
+
+DEM. The very best of women!
+
+SYRUS. And the first
+That suckled my young master's son, your grandson.
+
+DEM. Indeed! the first who suckled him!--Nay then,
+Beyond all doubt, she should be free.
+
+MICIO. For what?
+
+DEM. For that. Nay, take the sum, whate'er it be,
+Of me.
+
+SYRUS. Now all the powers above grant all
+Your wishes, Demea!
+
+MICIO. You have thriv'd to-day
+Most rarely, Syrus.
+
+DEM. And besides this, Micio,
+It would be handsome to advance him something
+To try his fortune with. He'll soon return it.
+
+MICIO. Not that. (_Snapping his fingers._)
+
+AESCH. He's honest.
+
+SYRUS. Faith I will return it.
+Do but advance it.
+
+AESCH. Do, Sir!
+
+MICIO. Well, I'll think on't.
+
+DEM. I'll see that he shall do't. (_To SYRUS._)
+
+SYRUS. Thou best of men!
+
+AESCH. My most indulgent father!
+
+MICIO. What means this?
+Whence comes this hasty change of manners, brother?
+Whence flows all this extravagance? and whence
+This sudden prodigality?
+
+DEM. I'll tell you:
+To show you, that the reason why our sons
+Think you so pleasant and agreeable,
+Is not from your deserts, or truth, or justice,
+But your compliance, bounty, and indulgence.
+--Now, therefore, if I'm odious to you, son,
+Because I'm not subservient to your humor
+In all things, right or wrong; away with care!
+Spend, squander, and do what you will!--but if,
+In those affairs where youth has made you blind,
+Eager, and thoughtless, you will suffer me
+To counsel and correct--and in due season
+Indulge you--I am at your service.
+
+AESCH. Father,
+In all things we submit ourselves to you.
+What's fit and proper, you know best.--But what
+Shall come of my poor brother?
+
+DEM. I consent
+That he shall have her: let him finish there.
+
+AESCH. All now is as it should be.-- (_To the audience._) Clap your
+    hands!
+
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+           *       *       *       *
+
+
+THE STEP-MOTHER.
+
+
+PERSONS REPRESENTED.
+
+  PROLOGUE.
+  LACHES.
+  PHIDIPPUS.
+  PAMPHILUS.
+  PARMENO.
+  SOSIA.
+  BOY, _and other Servants._
+
+  SOSTRATA.
+  MYRRHINA.
+  BACCHIS.
+  PHILOTIS.
+  SYRA.
+  NURSE, _Servants to Bacchis, etc._
+
+SCENE, ATHENS.
+
+
+
+
+PROLOGUE.
+
+This play is call'd the STEP-MOTHER. When first
+It was presented, such a hurricane,
+A tumult so uncommon interven'd,
+It neither could be seen nor understood:
+So taken were the people, so engag'd
+By a rope-dancer!--It is now brought on
+As a new piece: and he who wrote the play
+Suffer'd it not to be repeated then,
+That he might profit by a second sale.
+Others, his plays, you have already known;
+Now then, let me beseech you, know this too.
+
+
+ANOTHER PROLOGUE.
+
+I come a pleader, in the shape of prologue:
+Let me then gain my cause, and now grown old.
+Experience the same favor as when young;
+Who then recover'd many a lost play,
+Breath'd a new life into the scenes, and sav'd
+The author and his writings from oblivion.
+Of those which first I studied of Caecilius,
+In some I was excluded; and in some
+Hardly maintain'd my ground. But knowing well
+The variable fortunes of the scene,
+I was content to hazard certain toil
+For an uncertain gain. I undertook
+To rescue those same plays from condemnation,
+And labor'd to reverse your sentence on them;
+That the same Poet might afford me more,
+And no ill fortune damp young Genius in him.
+My cares prevail'd; the plays were heard; and thus
+Did I restore an Author, nearly lost
+Through the malevolence of adversaries,
+To study, labor, and the Poet's art.
+But had I at that time despis'd his plays,
+Or labor'd to deter him from the task,
+It had been easy to have kept him idle,
+And to have scar'd him from attempting more:
+For my sake, therefore, deign to hear with candor
+The suit I mean to offer to you now.
+
+Once more I bring the STEP-MOTHER before you,
+Which yet in silence I might never play;
+So did confusion crush it: which confusion
+Your prudence may allay, if it will deign
+To second our endeavors.--When I first
+Began to play this piece, the sturdy Boxers,
+(The dancers on the rope expected too,)
+Th' increasing crowds, the noise and women's clamor,
+Oblig'd me to retire before my time.
+I, upon this occasion, had recourse
+To my old way. I brought it on again.
+In the first act I please: meanwhile there spreads
+A rumor of the Gladiators: then
+The people flock together, riot, roar,
+And fight for places. I meanwhile _my_ place
+Could not maintain--To-day there's no disturbance;
+All's silence and attention; a clear stage:
+'Tis yours to give these games their proper grace.
+Let not, oh let not the Dramatic Art
+Fall to a few! let your authority
+Assist and second mine! if I for gain
+Ne'er overrated my abilities,
+If I have made it still my only care
+To be obedient to your will, oh grant
+That he who hath committed his performance
+To my defense, and who hath thrown himself
+On your protection, be not giv'n to scorn,
+And foul derision of his envious foes!
+
+Admit this plea for my sake, and be silent;
+That other Poets may not fear to write,
+That I too may hereafter find it meet
+To play new pieces bought at my expense.
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FIRST.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _PHILOTIS, SYRA._
+
+PHI. Now, by my troth, a woman of the town
+Scarce ever finds a faithful lover, Syra.
+This very Pamphilus, how many times
+He swore to Bacchis, swore so solemnly
+One could not but believe him, that he never
+Would, in her lifetime, marry. See! he's married.
+
+SYRA. I warn you, therefore, and most earnestly
+Conjure you, to have pity upon none.
+But plunder, fleece, and beggar ev'ry man
+That falls into your pow'r.
+
+PHI. What! spare none?
+
+SYRA. None.
+For know, there is not one of all your sparks
+But studies to cajole you with fine speeches,
+And have his will as cheaply as he can.
+Should not you, then, endeavor to fool them?
+
+PHI. But to treat all alike is wrong.
+
+SYRA. What! wrong?
+To be reveng'd upon your enemies?
+Or to snare those who spread their snares for you?
+--Alas! why have not I your youth and beauty,
+Or you my sentiments?
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter PARMENO._
+
+PAR. (_to SCRITUS within_). If our old gentleman
+Asks for me, tell him I'm this very moment
+Gone to the Port to seek for Pamphilus.
+D'ye understand my meaning, Scritus? If he asks,
+Tell him that; if he should not ask, say nothing;
+That this excuse may serve another time. (_Comes forward._
+--But is not that Philotis? Whence comes she?
+Philotis, save you!
+
+PHI. Save you, Parmeno!
+
+SYRA. Save you, good Parmeno!
+
+PAR. And save you, Syra!
+--Tell me, Philotis, where have you been gadding?
+Taking your pleasure this long time?
+
+PHI. I've taken
+No pleasure, Parmeno, indeed. I went
+With a most brutal Captain hence to Corinth,
+There have I led a wretched life with him
+For two whole years.
+
+PAR. Aye, aye, I warrant you
+That you have often wish'd to be in Athens;
+Often repented of your journey.
+
+PHI. Oh,
+'Tis quite impossible to tell how much
+I long'd to be at home, how much I long'd
+To leave the Captain, see you, revel with you,
+After the good old fashion, free and easy.
+For there I durst not speak a single word,
+But what, and when the mighty Captain pleas'd.
+
+PAR. 'Twas cruel in him thus to tie your tongue:
+At least, I'll warrant, that you thought it so.
+
+PHI. But what's this business, Parmeno? this story
+That Bacchis has been telling me within?
+I could not have believ'd that Pamphilus
+Would in her lifetime marry.
+
+PAR. Marry truly!
+
+PHI. Why he is married: is not he?
+
+PAR. He is.
+But I'm afraid 'twill prove a crazy match,
+And will not hold together long.
+
+PHI. Heav'n grant it.
+So it turn out to Bacchis's advantage!
+But how can I believe this, Parmeno?
+Tell me.
+
+PAR. It is not fit it should be told.
+Inquire no more.
+
+PHI. For fear I should divulge it?
+Now Heav'n so prosper me, as I inquire,
+Not for the sake of telling it again,
+But to rejoice within myself.
+
+PAR. All these
+Fair words, Philotis, sha'n't prevail on me
+To trust my back to your discretion.
+
+PHI. Well;
+Don't tell me, Parmeno.--As if you had not
+Much rather tell this secret than I hear it.
+
+PAR. She's in the right: I am a blab, 'tis true,
+It is my greatest failing.--Give your word
+You'll not reveal it, and I'll tell you.
+
+PHI. Now
+You're like yourself again. I give my word.
+Speak.
+
+PAR. Listen then.
+
+PHI. I'm all ear.
+
+PAR. Pamphilus
+Doted on Bacchis still as much as ever,
+When the old gentleman began to tease him
+To marry, in the common cant of fathers;
+--"That he was now grown old; and Pamphilus
+His only child; and that he long'd for heirs,
+As props of his old age." At first my master
+Withstood his instances, but as his father
+Became more hot and urgent, Pamphilus
+Began to waver in his mind, and felt
+A conflict betwixt love and duty in him.
+At length, by hammering on marriage still,
+And daily instances, th' old man prevail'd,
+And made a match with our next neighbor's daughter.
+Pamphilus did not take it much to heart,
+Till just upon the very brink of wedlock:
+But when he saw the nuptial rites prepar'd,
+And, without respite, he must many; then
+It came so home to him, that even Bacchis,
+Had she been present, must have pitied him.
+Whenever he could steal from company,
+And talk to me alone,--"Oh Parmeno,
+What have I done?" he'd cry.--"I'm lost forever.
+Into what ruin have I plung'd myself!
+I can not bear it, Parmeno. Ah wretch!
+I am undone."
+
+PHI. Now all the powers of heav'n
+Confound you, Laches, for thus teasing him?
+
+PAR. In short, he marries, and brings home his wife.
+The first night he ne'er touch'd her! nor the next.
+
+PHI. How! he a youth, and she a maidenhead!
+Tipsy, and never touch her! 'Tis not likely;
+Nor do I think it can be true.
+
+PAR. No wonder.
+For they that come to you come all desire:
+But he was bound to her against his will.
+
+PHI. What followed upon this?
+
+PAR. A few days after,
+Pamphilus, taking me aside, informs me,
+"That the maid still remain'd a maid for him;
+That he had hop'd, before he brought her home,
+He might have borne the marriage:--but resolving
+Within myself not to retain her long,
+I held it neither honesty in me,
+Nor of advantage to the maid herself,
+That I should throw her off to scorn:--but rather
+Return her to her friends, as I receiv'd her,
+Chaste and inviolate."
+
+PHI. A worthy youth,
+And of great modesty!
+
+PAR. "To make this public
+Would not, I think, do well: and to return her
+Upon her father's hands, no crime alleg'd,
+As arrogant: but she, I hope, as soon
+As she perceives she can not live with me,
+Will of her own accord depart."
+
+PHI. But tell me;
+Went he meanwhile to Bacchis?
+
+PAR. Every day.
+But she, as is the way you know, perceiving
+He was another's property, became
+More cross and mercenary.
+
+PHI. Troth, no wonder.
+
+PAR. Aye, but 'twas that detach'd him chiefly from her.
+For when he had examined well himself,
+Bacchis, and her at home; and had compar'd
+Their different manners; seeing that his bride,
+After the fashion of a lib'ral mind,
+Was decent, modest, patient of affronts,
+And anxious to conceal the wrongs he did her;
+Touch'd partly with compassion for his wife,
+And partly tir'd with t'other's insolence,
+He by degrees withdrew his heart from Bacchis,
+Transferring it to her, whose disposition
+Was so congenial to his own. Meanwhile
+An old relation of the family
+Dies in the isle of Imbrus. His estate
+Comes by the law to them; and our old man
+Dispatching thither, much against his will,
+The now-fond Pamphilus, he leaves his wife
+Here with his mother. The old gentleman
+Retir'd into the country, and but seldom
+Comes up to town.
+
+PHI. But what is there in this
+That can affect the marriage?
+
+PAR. You shall hear
+Immediately. At first, for some few days,
+The women seem'd to live on friendly terms:
+Till all at once the bride, forsooth, conceiv'd
+A wonderful disgust to Sostrata:
+And yet there was no open breach between them,
+And no complaints on either side.
+
+PHI. What then?
+
+PAR. If Sostrata, for conversation' sake,
+Went to the bride, she instantly withdrew,
+Shunning her company. At length, not able
+To bear it any longer, she pretends
+Her mother had sent for her to assist
+At some home-sacrifice. Away she went.
+After a few days' absence, Sostrata
+Sent for her back. They made some lame excuse,
+I know not what. She sends again. No lady.
+Then after several messages, at last
+They say the gentlewoman's sick. My mistress
+Goes on a visit to her: not let in.
+Th' old gentleman, inform'd of all this, came
+On this occasion yesterday to town;
+And waited on the father of the bride.
+What pass'd between them, I as yet can't tell;
+And yet I long to know the end of this.
+--There's the whole business. Now I'll on my way.
+
+PHI. And I: for there's a stranger here, with whom
+I have an assignation.
+
+PAR. Speed the plow!
+
+PHI. Parmeno, fare you well!
+
+PAR. Farewell, Philotis! (_Exeunt severally._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    PAR. (_to SCRITUS within_).
+    ...
+    D'ye understand my meaning, Scritus?
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PAR. (_to SCIRTUS within_).
+    ...
+    D'ye understand my meaning, Scirtus?
+
+  _Harper_
+    PAR. All these
+    Fair words, Philotis, sha'n't prevail on me
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PAR. No, no:
+    Fair words, Philotis, sha'n't prevail on me
+
+  _Harper_
+    As arrogant: but she, I hope, as soon
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Is arrogant: but she, I hope, as soon
+
+    The women seem'd to live on friendly terms:
+  _Harper edition reads "The woman"_
+
+  _Harper_
+    Shunning her company. At length, not able
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Shunning her company. At length, unable]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE SECOND.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _LACHES, SOSTRATA._
+
+LACH. Oh heav'n and earth, what animals are women!
+What a conspiracy between them all,
+To do or not do, love or hate alike!
+Not one but has the sex so strong in her,
+She differs nothing from the rest. Step-mothers
+All hate their Step-daughters: and every wife
+Studies alike to contradict her husband,
+The same perverseness running through them all.
+Each seems train'd up in the same school of mischief:
+And of that school, if any such there be,
+My wife, I think, is schoolmistress.
+
+SOSTRA. Ah me!
+Who know not why I am accus'd.
+
+LACH. Not know?
+
+SOSTRA. No, as I hope for mercy! as I hope
+We may live long together!
+
+LACH. Heav'n forbid!
+
+SOSTRA. Hereafter, Laches, you'll be sensible
+How wrongfully you have accus'd me.
+
+LACH. I?
+Accuse you wrongfully?----Is't possible
+To speak too hardly of your late behavior?
+Disgracing me, yourself, and family;
+Laying up sorrow for your absent son;
+Converting into foes his new-made friends,
+Who thought him worthy of their child in marriage.
+You've been our bane, and by your shrewishness
+Brew'd this disturbance.
+
+SOSTRA. I?
+
+LACH. You, woman, you!
+Who take me for a stone, and not a man.
+Think ye, because I'm mostly in the country,
+I'm ignorant of your proceedings here?
+No, no; I know much better what's done here,
+Than where I'm chiefly resident. Because
+Upon my family at home depends
+My character abroad. I knew long since
+Philumena's disgust to you;----no wonder!
+Nay, 'twere a wonder, had it not been so.
+Yet I imagin'd not her hate so strong,
+'Twould vent itself upon the family:
+Which had I dream'd of, she should have remain'd,
+And you pack'd off.--Consider, Sostrata,
+How little cause you had to vex me thus.
+In complaisance to you, and husbanding
+My fortune, I retir'd into the country:
+Scraping, and laboring beyond the bounds
+Of reason, or my age, that my estate
+Might furnish means for your expense and pleasure.
+--Was it not then your duty, in return,
+To see that nothing happen'd here to vex me?
+
+SOSTRA. 'Twas not my doing, nor my fault indeed.
+
+LACH. 'Twas your fault, Sostrata; your fault alone.
+You was sole mistress here; and in your care
+The house, though I had freed you of all other cares.
+A woman, an old woman too, and quarrel
+With a green girl! oh shame upon't!--You'll say
+That 'twas her fault.
+
+SOSTRA. Not I indeed, my Laches.
+
+LACH. 'Fore Heav'n, I'm glad on't! on my son's account.
+For as for you, I'm well enough assur'd,
+No fault can make you worse.
+
+SOSTRA. But prithee, husband,
+How can you tell that her aversion to me
+Is not a mere pretense, that she may stay
+The longer with her mother?
+
+LACH. No such thing.
+Was not your visit yesterday a proof,
+From their denial to admit you to her?
+
+SOSTRA. They said she was so sick she could not see me.
+
+LACH. Sick of your humors; nothing else, I fancy.
+And well she might: for there's not one of you
+But want your sons to take a wife: and that's
+No sooner over, but the very woman
+Which, by your instigation, they have married,
+They, by your instigation, put away.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    You was sole mistress here; and in your care
+  _Colman 1768_
+    You were sole mistress here; and in your care]
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter PHIDIPPUS._
+
+PHID. (_to PHILUMENA within_). Although, Philumena, I know
+my pow'r
+To force you to comply with my commands;
+Yet yielding to paternal tenderness,
+I e'en give way, nor cross your humor.
+
+LACH. See,
+Phidippus in good time! I'll learn from him
+The cause of this.-- (_Going up to him._) Phidippus, though I own
+Myself indulgent to my family,
+Yet my complacency and easiness
+Runs not to that extreme, that my good-nature
+Corrupts their morals. Would you act like me,
+'Twould be of service to both families.
+But you, I see, are wholly in their power.
+
+PHID. See there!
+
+LACH. I waited on you yesterday
+About your daughter: but I went away
+No wiser than I came. It is not right,
+If you would have the alliance last between us,
+To smother your resentment. If we seem
+In fault, declare it; that we may refute,
+Or make amends for our offense: and you
+Shall carve the satisfaction out yourself.
+But if her sickness only is the cause
+Of her remaining in your family,
+Trust me, Phidippus, but you do me wrong,
+To doubt her due attendance at my house.
+For, by the pow'rs of heav'n, I'll not allow
+That you, although her father, wish her better
+Than I. I love her on my son's account;
+To whom, I'm well convinc'd, she is as dear
+As he is to himself: and I can tell
+How deeply 'twill affect him, if he knows this.
+Wherefore I wish she should come home again,
+Before my son's return.
+
+PHID. My good friend Laches,
+I know your care, and your benevolence;
+Nor doubt that all is as you say; and hope
+That you'll believe I wish for her return,
+So I could but effect it.
+
+LACH. What prevents it?
+Tell me, Phidippus! does she blame her husband?
+
+PHID. Not in the least. For when I urg'd it home,
+And threaten'd to oblige her to return,
+She vow'd most solemnly she could not bear
+Your house, so long as Pamphilus was absent.
+--All have their failings: I am of so soft
+A nature, I can't thwart my family.
+
+LACH. Ha, Sostrata! (_To SOSTRATA, apart._)
+
+SOSTRA. Wretch that I am! Ah me! (_Aside._)
+
+LACH. And her return's impossible? (_To PHIDIPPUS._)
+
+PHID. At present.
+--Would you aught else with me? for I have business
+That calls me to the Forum.
+
+LACH. I'll go with you. (_Exeunt._
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Manet SOSTRATA._
+
+SOSTRA. How unjustly
+Do husbands stretch their censures to all wives
+For the offenses of a few, whose vices
+Reflect dishonor on the rest!--For, Heaven
+So help me, as I'm wholly innocent
+Of what my husband now accuses me!
+But 'tis no easy task to clear myself;
+So fix'd and rooted is the notion in them,
+That Step-Mothers are all severe.--Not I;
+For I have ever lov'd Philumena
+As my own daughter; nor can I conceive
+What accident has drawn her hatred on me.
+My son's return, I hope, will settle all;
+And, ah, I've too much cause to wish his coming. (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    For the offenses of a few, whose vices
+    Reflect dishonor on the rest!--For, Heaven
+    So help me, as I'm wholly innocent
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Because of the offences of a few,
+    Whose faults reflect dishonour on the rest!
+    --For, heav'n so help me, as I'm innocent]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE THIRD.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _Enter PAMPHILUS and PARMENO._
+
+PAM. Never did man experience greater ills,
+More miseries in love than I.--Distraction!
+Was it for this I held my life so dear?
+For this was I so anxious to return?
+Better, much better were it to have liv'd
+In any place, than come to this again!
+To feel and know myself a wretch!--For when
+Mischance befalls us, all the interval
+Between its happening, and our knowledge of it,
+May be esteem'd clear gain.
+
+PAR. But as it is,
+You'll sooner be deliver'd from your troubles:
+For had you not return'd, the breach between them
+Had been made wider. But now, Pamphilus,
+Both will, I doubt not, reverence your presence.
+You'll know the whole, make up their difference,
+And reconcile them to each other.--These
+Are all mere trifles, which you think so grievous.
+
+PAM. Ah, why will you attempt to comfort me?
+Was ever such a wretch?--Before I married,
+My heart, you know, was wedded to another.
+--But I'll not dwell upon that misery,
+Which may he easily conceiv'd: and yet
+I had not courage to refuse the match
+My father forc'd upon me.--Scarcely wean'd
+From my old love, my lim'd soul scarcely freed
+From Bacchis, and devoted to my wife,
+Than, lo, a new calamity arises,
+Threatening to tear me from Philumena.
+For either I shall find my mother faulty,
+Or else my wife: In either case unhappy.
+For duty, Parmeno, obliges me
+To bear with all the failings of a mother:
+And then I am so bounden to my wife,
+Who, calm as patience, bore the wrongs I did her,
+Nor ever murmur'd a complaint.--But sure
+'Twas somewhat very serious, Parmeno,
+That could occasion such a lasting quarrel.
+
+PAR. Rather some trifle, if you knew the truth.
+The greatest quarrels do not always rise
+From deepest injuries. We often see
+That what would never move another's spleen
+Renders the choleric your worst of foes.
+Observe how lightly children squabble.--Why?
+Because they're govern'd by a feeble mind.
+Women, like children, too, are impotent,
+And weak of soul. A single word, perhaps,
+Has kindled all this enmity between them.
+
+PAM. Go, Parmeno, and let them know I'm come.
+
+(_Noise within._)
+
+PAR. Ha! what's all this?
+
+PAM. Hush!
+
+PAR. I perceive a bustle,
+And running to and fro.--Come this way, Sir!
+--To the door!--nearer still!--There, there, d'ye hear?
+
+(_Noise continues._)
+
+PAM. Peace; hush! (_Shriek within._) Oh Jupiter, I heard
+a shriek!
+
+PAR. You talk yourself, and bid me hold my tongue.
+
+MYRRHINA (_within_). Hush, my dear child, for Heaven's sake!
+
+PAM. It seem'd
+The voice of my wife's mother. I am ruin'd!
+
+PAR. How so?
+
+PAM. Undone!
+
+PAR. And why?
+
+PAM. Ah, Parmeno,
+They hide some terrible misfortune from me!
+
+PAR. They said your wife Philumena was ill:
+Whether 'tis that, I can not tell.
+
+PAM. Death, Sirrah!
+Why did you not inform me that before?
+
+PAR. Because I could not tell you all at once.
+
+PAM. What's her disorder?
+
+PAR. I don't know.
+
+PAM. But tell me,
+Has she had no physician?
+
+PAR. I don't know.
+
+PAM. But why do I delay to enter straight,
+That I may learn the truth, be what it will?
+--Oh my Philumena, in what condition
+Shall I now find thee?--If there's danger of thee,
+My life's in danger too. (_Exit._
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _PARMENO alone._
+
+It were not good
+That I should follow him into the house:
+For all our family are odious to them.
+That's plain from their denying Sostrata
+Admittance yesterday.--And if by chance
+Her illness should increase (which Heav'n forbid,
+For my poor master's sake!), they'll cry directly,
+"Sostrata's servant came into the house:"
+Swear,--"that I brought the plague along with me,
+Put all their lives in danger, and increas'd
+Philumena's distemper."--By which means
+My mistress will be blam'd, and I be beaten.
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Enter SOSTRATA._
+
+SOSTRA. Alas, I hear a dreadful noise within.
+Philumena, I fear, grows worse and worse:
+Which AEsculapius, and thou, Health, forbid!
+But now I'll visit her. (_Goes toward the house._)
+
+PAR. Ho, Sostrata!
+
+SOSTRA. Who's there?
+
+PAR. You'll be shut out a second time.
+
+SOSTRA. Ha, Parmeno, are you there?--Wretched woman!
+What shall I do?--Not visit my son's wife,
+When she lies sick at next door!
+
+PAR. Do not go;
+No, nor send any body else; for they
+That love the folks, to whom themselves are odious,
+I think are guilty of a double folly:
+Their labor proves but idle to themselves,
+And troublesome to those for whom 'tis meant.
+Besides, your son, the moment he arriv'd,
+Went in to visit her.
+
+SOSTRA. How, Parmeno!
+Is Pamphilus arriv'd?
+
+PAR. He is.
+
+SOSTRA. Thank Heav'n!
+Oh, how my comfort is reviv'd by that!
+
+PAR. And therefore I ne'er went into the house.
+For if Philumena's complaints abate,
+She'll tell him, face to face, the whole affair,
+And what has pass'd between you to create
+This difference.--But here he comes--how sad!
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Enter PAMPHILUS._
+
+SOSTRA. My dear boy, Pamphilus!
+
+PAM. My mother, save you! (_Disordered._)
+
+SOSTRA. I'm glad to see you safe return'd--How does
+Your wife!
+
+PAM. A little better.
+
+SOSTRA. Grant it, Heav'n!
+--But why d'ye weep, and why are you so sad?
+
+PAM. Nothing, good mother.
+
+SOSTRA. What was all that bustle?
+Tell me, did pain attack her suddenly?
+
+PAM. It did.
+
+SOSTRA. And what is her complaint?
+
+PAM. A fever.
+
+SOSTRA. What! a quotidian?
+
+PAR. So they say.--But in,
+Good mother, and I'll follow.
+
+SOSTRA. Be it so. (_Exit._
+
+PAM. Do you run, Parmeno, to meet the servants,
+And give your help in bringing home the baggage.
+
+PAR. As if they did not know the road!
+
+PAM. Away! (_Exit PARMENO._
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _PAMPHILUS alone._
+
+Which way shall I begin the wretched tale
+Of my misfortunes, which have fall'n upon me
+Thus unexpectedly? which even now
+These very eyes have seen, these ears have heard?
+And which, discover'd, drove me out o'doors.
+Cover'd with deep confusion?--For but now
+As I rush'd in, all anxious for my wife,
+And thinking to have found her visited,
+Alas! with a far different complaint;
+Soon as her women saw me, at first sight
+Struck and o'erjoy'd, they all exclaim'd, "He's come!"
+And then as soon each countenance was chang'd,
+That chance had brought me so unseasonably.
+Meanwhile one of them ran before, to speak
+Of my arrival. I, who long'd to see her,
+Directly follow'd; and no sooner enter'd,
+Than her disorder was, alas! too plain:
+For neither had they leisure to disguise it,
+Nor could she silence the loud cries of travail.
+Soon as I saw it, "Oh shame, shame!" I cried,
+And rush'd away in tears and agony,
+O'erwhelm'd with horror at a stroke so grievous.
+The mother follows me, and at the threshold
+Falls on her knees before me all in tears.
+This touch'd me to the soul. And certainly
+'Tis in the very nature of our minds,
+To rise and fall according to our fortunes.
+Thus she address'd me.-- "Oh, my Pamphilus,
+The cause of her removal from your house
+You've now discover'd. To my virgin-daughter
+Some unknown villain offer'd violence;
+And she fled hither to conceal her labor
+From you and from your family."--Alas!
+When I but call her earnest prayers to mind,
+I can not choose but weep.--"Whatever chance,"
+Continued she, "whatever accident,
+Brought you to-day thus suddenly upon us,
+By that we both conjure you--if in justice
+And equity we may--to keep in silence,
+And cover her distress.--Oh, Pamphilus,
+If e'er you witness'd her affection for you,
+By that affection she implores you now
+Not to refuse us!--for recalling her,
+Do as your own discretion shall direct.
+That she's in labor now, or has conceiv'd
+By any other person, is a secret
+Known but to you alone. For I've been told,
+The two first months you had no commerce with her,
+And it is now the seventh since your union.
+Your sentiments on this are evident.
+But now, my Pamphilus, if possible,
+I'll call it a miscarriage: no one else
+But will believe, as probable, 'tis yours.
+The child shall be immediately expos'd.
+No inconvenience will arise to you;
+While thus you shall conceal the injury
+That my poor girl unworthily sustain'd."
+--I promis'd her; and I will keep my word.
+But to recall her would be poor indeed:
+Nor will I do it, though I love her still.
+And former commerce binds me strongly to her.
+--I can't but weep, to think how sad and lonely
+My future life will be.--Oh fickle fortune!
+How transient are thy smiles!--But I've been school'd
+To patience by my former hapless passion,
+Which I subdued by reason: and I'll try
+By reason to subdue this too.--But yonder
+Comes Parmeno, I see, with th' other slaves!
+He must by no means now be present, since
+To him alone I formerly reveal'd
+That I abstain'd from her when first we married:
+And if he hears her frequent cries, I fear
+That he'll discover her to be in labor.
+I must dispatch him on some idle errand,
+Until Philumena's deliver'd.
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _Enter at a distance PARMENO, SOSIA, and other slaves with baggage._
+
+PAR. (_to SOSIA_). Aye?
+And had you such a wretched voyage, say you?
+
+SOSIA. Oh Parmeno, words can't express how wretched
+A sea-life is.
+
+PAR. Indeed?
+
+SOSIA. Oh happy Parmeno!
+You little know the dangers you've escap'd,
+Who've never been at sea.--For not to dwell
+On other hardships, only think of this!
+I was on shipboard thirty days or more,
+In constant fear of sinking all the while,
+The winds so contrary, such stormy weather!
+
+PAR. Dreadful!
+
+SOSIA. I found it so, I promise you.
+In short, were I assur'd I must return,
+'Fore Heaven, Parmeno, I'd run away,
+Rather than go on board a ship again.
+
+PAR. You have been apt enough to think of that
+On slighter reasons, Sosia, before now.
+--But yonder's my young master Pamphilus
+Standing before that door.--Go in! I'll to him,
+And see if he has any business for me.
+
+(_Exeunt SOSIA, and the rest of the slaves with the baggage._
+
+Master, are you here still? (_To PAMPHILUS._)
+
+PAM. Oh Parmeno!
+I waited for you.
+
+PAR. What's your pleasure, Sir?
+
+PAM. Run to the Citadel.
+
+PAR. Who?
+
+PAM. You.
+
+PAR. The Citadel!
+For what?
+
+PAM. Find out one Callidemides,
+My landlord of Mycone, who came over
+In the same ship with me.
+
+PAR. A plague upon it!
+Would not one swear that he had made a vow
+To break my wind, if he came home in safety,
+With running on his errands?
+
+PAM. Away, Sirrah!
+
+PAR. What message? must I only find him out?
+
+PAM. Yes; tell him that it is not in my power
+To meet him there to-day, as I appointed;
+That he mayn't wait for me in vain.--Hence; fly!
+
+PAR. But I don't know him, if I see him, Sir.
+
+PAM. (_impatiently_). Well; I'll describe him, so you can not miss him.
+--A large, red, frizzle-pated, gross, blear-eyed,
+Ill-looking fellow.
+
+PAR. Plague on him, say I!
+--What if he should not come, Sir, must I wait
+Till evening for him?
+
+PAM. Wait.--Be quick!
+
+PAR. Be quick?
+I can't be quick,--I'm so much tir'd. (_Exit._
+
+
+SCENE VII.
+
+  _PAMPHILOS alone._
+
+He's gone.
+What shall I do? Alas! I scarcely know
+How to conceal, as Myrrhina desir'd,
+Her daughter's labor. Yet I pity her;
+And what I can, I am resolv'd to do,
+Consistent with my duty: for my parents
+Must be obey'd before my love.--But see!
+My father and Phidippus come this way.
+How I shall act, Heav'n knows.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    And what I can, I am resolv'd to do,
+    Consistent with my duty: for my parents
+  _Colman 1768_
+    And what I can, consistent with my duty,
+    I am resolv'd to do: and yet my parents
+
+
+SCENE VIII.
+
+  _Enter at a distance LACHES and PHIDIPPUS._
+
+LACH. Did not you say
+She only waited my son's coming?
+
+PHID. Aye.
+
+LACH. They say that he's arriv'd. Let us return then!
+
+PAM. (_behind_). What reason I shall frame to give my father,
+For not recalling her, I can not tell.
+
+LACH. (_overhearing_). Whose voice was that?
+
+PAM. (_to himself_). And yet I am resolv'd
+To stand to my first purpose.
+
+LACH. (_seeing PAMPHILUS_). He himself,
+Whom I was speaking of!
+
+PAM. (_going up_). My father, save you!
+
+LACH. Save you, my son!
+
+PHID. Pamphilus, welcome home!
+I'm glad to see you safe, and in good health.
+
+PAM. I do believe it.
+
+LACH. Are you just now come?
+
+PAM. Just now, Sir.
+
+LACH. Well; and tell me, Pamphilus,
+What has our kinsman Phania left us?
+
+PAM. Ah, Sir,
+He, his whole lifetime, was a man of pleasure,
+And such men seldom much enrich their heirs.
+Yet he has left at least this praise behind him,
+"While he liv'd, he liv'd well."
+
+LACH. And have you brought
+Nothing home with you but this single sentence?
+
+PAM. What he has left, though small, is of advantage.
+
+LACH. Advantage? No, it is a disadvantage:
+For I could wish he was alive and well.
+
+PHID. That you may safely; for your wishing for't
+Will never bring the man to life again:
+Yet I know well enough which you'd like best. (_Aside._)
+
+LACH. (_to PAMPHILUS_). Phidippus order'd that Philumena
+Should be sent over to him yesterday.
+--Say that you order'd it. (_Aside to PHIDIPPUS, thrusting him._)
+
+PHID. (_aside to LACHES_). Don't thrust me so.----
+I did. (_Aloud._)
+
+LACH. But now he'll send her home again.
+
+PHID. I will.
+
+PAM. Nay, nay, I know the whole affair.
+Since my arrival, I have heard it all.
+
+LACH. Now plague upon these envious tale-bearers,
+Who are so glad to fetch and carry news!
+
+PAM. (_to PHIDIPPUS_). That I've endeavor'd to deserve no blame
+From any of the family, I'm conscious.
+Were it my inclination to relate
+How true I've been, how kind and gentle tow'rd her,
+I well might do it: but I rather choose
+You should collect it from herself. For when
+She, although now there's enmity between us,
+Bespeaks me fair, you will the sooner credit
+My disposition tow'rd her. And I call
+The Gods to witness that this separation
+Has not arisen from my fault. But since
+She thinks it is beneath her to comply
+With Sostrata, and bear my mother's temper;
+And since no other means are to be found
+Of reconciliation, I, Phidippus,
+Must leave my mother or Philumena.
+Duty then calls me to regard my mother.
+
+LACH. My Pamphilus, I can not be displeas'd
+That you prefer to all the world a parent.
+But take heed your resentment don't transport you
+Beyond the bounds of reason, Pamphilus.
+
+PAM. Ah, what resentment can I bear to her,
+Who ne'er did any thing I'd wish undone,
+But has so often deserv'd well of me?
+I love her, own her worth, and languish for her;
+For I have known her tenderness of soul:
+And Heaven grant that with some other husband
+She find that happiness she miss'd in me;
+From whom the strong hand of necessity
+Divorces her forever!
+
+PHID. That event
+'Tis in your pow'r to hinder.
+
+LACH. If you're wise,
+Take your wife home again!
+
+PAM. I can not, father.
+I must not slack my duty to my mother. (_Going._)
+
+LACH. Where are you going? (_Exit PAMPHILUS._
+
+
+SCENE IX.
+
+  _Manent LACHES and PHIDIPPUS._
+
+PHID. How perverse is this! (_Angrily._)
+
+LACH. Did not I say he'd take it ill, Phidippus,
+And therefore begg'd you to send back your daughter?
+
+PHID. 'Fore Heaven I did not think him such a churl.
+What! does he fancy I'll go cringing to him?
+No;--if he'll take his wife he may:--if not,
+Let him refund her portion;--there's an end!
+
+LACH. See there now! you're as fractious as himself.
+
+PHID. You're come back obstinate and proud enough
+In conscience, Pamphilus! (_Angrily._)
+
+LACH. This anger will subside,
+Though he has had some cause to be disturb'd.
+
+PHID. Because you've had a little money left you,
+Your minds are so exalted!
+
+LACH. What, d'ye quarrel
+With me too?
+
+PHID. Let him take to-day to think on't,
+And send me word if he shall have her home
+Or not: that if she don't remain his wife,
+She may be given to another. (_Exit hastily._
+
+
+SCENE X.
+
+  _LACHES alone._
+
+Stay!
+Hear me! one word, Phidippus! Stay!--He's gone.
+--What is't to me? (_Angrily._) E'en let them settle it
+Among themselves; since nor my son, nor he
+Take my advice, nor mind one word I say.
+--This quarrel shall go round, I promise them:
+I'll to my wife, the author of this mischief,
+And vent my spleen and anger upon her. (_Exit._
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FOURTH.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _Enter MYRRHINA hastily._
+
+MYRR. What shall I do?--Confusion!--which way turn?
+Alas! what answer shall I make my husband?
+For I dare say he heard the infant's cries,
+He ran so hastily, without a word,
+Into my daughter's chamber. If he finds
+That she has been deliver'd, what excuse
+To make, for having thus conceal'd her labor,
+I can't devise.--But our door creaks!--'tis he.
+I am undone.
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter PHIDIPPUS._
+
+PHID. Soon as my wife perceiv'd
+That I was going to my daughter's chamber,
+She stole directly out o'doors.--But there
+She stands.--Why, how now, Myrrhina?
+Holo, I say! (_She affects not to see him._)
+
+MYRR. D'ye call me, husband?
+
+PHID. Husband!
+Am I your husband? am I ev'n a man?
+For had you thought me to be either, woman,
+You would not dare to play upon me thus.
+
+MYRR. How!
+
+PHID. How?--My daughter has been brought to bed.
+--Ha! are you dumb?--By whom?
+
+MYRR. Is that a question
+For you, who are her father, to demand?
+Alas! by whom d'ye think, unless her husband?
+
+PHID. So I believe: nor is it for a father
+To suppose otherwise. But yet I wonder
+That you have thus conceal'd her labor from us,
+Especially as she has been deliver'd
+At her full time, and all is as it should be.
+What! Is there such perverseness in your nature,
+As rather to desire the infant's death,
+Than that his birth should knit the bond of friendship
+Closer betwixt us; rather than my daughter,
+Against your liking, should remain the wife
+Of Pamphilus?--I thought all this
+Had been their fault, while you're alone to blame.
+
+MYRR. How wretched am I!
+
+PHID. Would to Heav'n you were!
+--But now I recollect your conversation
+When first we made this match, you then declar'd
+You'd not endure she should remain the wife
+Of Pamphilus, who follow'd mistresses,
+And pass'd the nights abroad.
+
+MYRR. I had much rather
+He should think any reason than the true one. (_Aside._)
+
+PHID. I knew he kept a mistress; knew it long
+Ere you did, Myrrhina; but I could never
+Think that offense so grievous in a youth,
+Seeing 'tis natural to them all: and soon
+The time shall come when he'll stand self-reprov'd.
+But you, perverse and willful as at first,
+Could take no rest till you had brought away
+Your daughter, and annull'd the match I made:
+There's not a circumstance but loudly speaks
+Your evil disposition to the marriage.
+
+MYRR. D'ye think me then so obstinate, that I,
+Who am her mother, should betray this spirit,
+Granting the match were of advantage to us?
+
+PHID. Is it for you then to foresee, or judge
+What's of advantage to us? You perhaps
+Have heard from some officious busy-body,
+That they have seen him going to his mistress,
+Or coming from her house: and what of that,
+So it were done discreetly, and but seldom?
+Were it not better that we should dissemble
+Our knowledge of it, than pry into things
+Which to appear to know would make him hate us?
+For could he tear her from his heart at once,
+To whom he'd been so many years attach'd,
+I should not think he were a man, or likely
+To prove a constant husband to my daughter.
+
+MYRR. No more of Pamphilus or my offense;
+Since you will have it so!--Go, find him out;
+Confer with him alone, and fairly ask him,
+Will he, or no, take back Philumena?
+If he avows his inclination to't,
+Restore her; but if he refuses it,
+Allow, I've ta'en good counsel for my child.
+
+PHID. Grant, he should prove repugnant to the match,
+Grant, you perceiv'd this in him, Myrrhina;
+Was not I present! had not I a right
+To be consulted in't?--It makes me mad.
+That you should dare to act without my order:
+And I forbid you to remove the child
+Out of this house.--But what a fool am I,
+Enjoining her obedience to my orders!
+I'll in, and charge the servants not to suffer
+The infant to be carried forth. (_Exit._
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _MYRRHINA alone._
+
+No woman more unhappy than myself:
+For how he'd bear it, did he know the whole,
+When he has taken such offense at this,
+Which is of much less consequence, is plain.
+Nor by what means to reconcile him to it,
+Can I devise. After so many ills,
+This only misery there yet remain'd,
+To be oblig'd to educate the child,
+Ignorant of the father's quality.
+For he, the cruel spoiler of her honor,
+Taking advantage of the night and darkness,
+My daughter was not able to discern
+His person; nor to force a token from him,
+Whereby he might be afterward discover'd:
+But he, at his departure, pluck'd by force
+A ring from off her finger.--I fear too,
+That Pamphilus will not contain himself,
+Nor longer keep our secret, when he finds
+Another's child acknowledg'd for his own. (_Exit._
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _SOSTRATA, PAMPHILUS._
+
+SOSTRA. Dear son, I'm not to learn that you suppose,
+Though you dissemble your suspicions to me,
+That my ill-humor caus'd your wife's departure.
+But by my trust in Heav'n, and hopes in you,
+I never knowingly did any thing
+To draw her hatred and disgust upon me.
+I always thought you lov'd me, and to-day
+You have confirm'd my faith: for even now
+Your father has been telling me within,
+How much you held me dearer than your love.
+Now therefore, on my part, I am resolv'd
+To equal you in all good offices;
+That you may know your mother ne'er withholds
+The just rewards of filial piety;
+Finding it then both meet for your repose,
+My Pamphilus, as well as my good name,
+I have determin'd to retire directly
+From hence into the country with your father;
+So shall my presence be no obstacle,
+Nor any cause remain, but that your wife
+Return immediately.
+
+PAM. What thoughts are these?
+Shall her perverseness drive you out of town?
+It shall not be: Nor will I draw, good mother,
+That censure on me, that my obstinacy,
+Not your good-nature, was the cause.--Besides,
+That you should quit relations, friends, diversions,
+On my account, I can't allow.
+
+SOSTRA. Alas!
+Those things have no allurements for me now.
+While I was young, and 'twas the season for them,
+I had my share, and I am satisfied.
+'Tis now my chief concern to make my age
+Easy to all, that no one may regret
+My lengthen'd life, nor languish for my death.
+Here, although undeservedly, I see
+My presence odious: I had best retire:
+So shall I best cut off all discontent,
+Absolve myself from this unjust suspicion,
+And humor them. Permit me then to shun
+The common scandal thrown upon the sex.
+
+PAM. How fortunate in every thing but one,
+Having so good a mother,--such a wife!
+
+SOSTRA. Patience, my Pamphilus! Is't possible
+You can't endure one inconvenience in her?
+If in all else, as I believe, you like her,
+Dear son, be rul'd by me, and take her home!
+
+PAM. Wretch that I am!
+
+SOSTRA. And I am wretched too:
+For this grieves me, my son, no less than you.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    Finding it then both meet for your repose,
+    My Pamphilus, as well as my good name
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Finding it then both meet, my Pamphilus,
+    For your repose, as well as my good name]
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _Enter LACHES._
+
+LACH. I have been standing at a distance, wife,
+And overheard your conversation with him.
+You have done wisely to subdue your temper,
+And freely to comply with what, perhaps,
+Hereafter must be done.
+
+SOSTRA. And let it be!
+
+LACH. Now then retire with me into the country:
+There I shall bear with you, and you with me.
+
+SOSTRA. I hope we shall.
+
+LACH. Go in then, and pack up
+The necessaries you would carry with you.
+Away!
+
+SOSTRA. I shall obey your orders. (_Exit._
+
+PAM. Father!
+
+LACH. Well, Pamphilus?
+
+PAM. My mother leave the town?
+By no means.
+
+LACH. Why?
+
+PAM. Because I'm yet uncertain
+What I shall do about my wife.
+
+LACH. How's that?
+What _would_ you do but take her home again?
+
+PAM. 'Tis what I wish for, and can scarce forbear it.
+But I'll not alter what I first design'd.
+What's best I'll follow: and I'm well convinc'd
+That there's no other way to make them friends,
+But that I should not take her home again.
+
+LACH. You don't know that: but 'tis of no importance
+Whether they're friends or not, when Sostrata
+Is gone into the country. We old folks
+Are odious to the young. We'd best retire.
+In short, we're grown a by-word, Pamphilus,
+"The old man and old woman."--But I see
+Phidippus coming in good time. Let's meet him!
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    PAM. 'Tis what I wish for, and can scarce forbear it.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    PAM. 'Tis what I wish for, and can scarce forbear.
+
+  _Harper_
+    That there's no other way to make them friends
+  _Colman 1768_
+    No other means remain to make them friends]
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _Enter PHIDIPPUS._
+
+PHID. (_to PHILUMENA within_). I'm angry with you--'fore Heaven, very
+    angry,
+Philumena!--You've acted shamefully.
+Though you indeed have some excuse for't, seeing
+Your mother urg'd you to't; but she has none.
+
+LACH. You're come upon us in good time, Phidippus;
+Just in the time we wanted you.
+
+PHID. What now?
+
+PAM. What answer shall I give them! how explain? (_Aside._)
+
+LACH. Inform your daughter, Sostrata will hence
+Into the country; so Philumena
+Need not dread coming home again.
+
+PHID. Ah, friend!
+Your wife has never been in fault at all:
+All this has sprung from my wife Myrrhina.
+The case is alter'd. She confounds us, Laches.
+
+PAM. So that I may not take her home again,
+Confound affairs who will! (_Aside._)
+
+PHID. I, Pamphilus,
+Would fain, if possible, make this alliance
+Perpetual between our families.
+But if you can not like it, take the child.
+
+PAM. He knows of her delivery. Confusion! (_Aside._)
+
+LACH. The child! what child?
+
+PHID. We've got a grandson, Laches.
+For when my daughter left your house, she was
+With child, it seems, although I never knew it
+Before this very day.
+
+LACH. 'Fore Heav'n, good news!
+And I rejoice to hear a child is born,
+And that your daughter had a safe delivery.
+But what a woman is your wife, Phidippus?
+Of what a disposition? to conceal
+Such an event as this? I can't express
+How much I think she was to blame.
+
+PHID. This pleases me no more than you, good Laches.
+
+PAM. Although my mind was in suspense before,
+My doubts all vanish now. I'll ne'er recall her,
+Since she brings home with her another's child. (_Aside._)
+
+LACH. There is no room for choice now, Pamphilus.
+
+PAM. Confusion! (_Aside._)
+
+LACH. We've oft wish'd to see the day
+When you should have a child to call you father.
+That day's now come. The Gods be thank'd!
+
+PAM. Undone! (_Aside._)
+
+LACH. Recall your wife, and don't oppose my will.
+
+PAM. If she had wish'd for children by me, father,
+Or to remain my wife, I'm very sure
+She never would have hid this matter from me:
+But now I see her heart divorc'd from me,
+And think we never can agree hereafter,
+Wherefore should I recall her?
+
+LACH. A young woman
+Did as her mother had persuaded her.
+Is that so wonderful? and do you think
+To find a woman without any fault?
+--Or is't because the _men_ are ne'er to blame? (_Ironically._)
+
+PHID. Consider with yourselves then, gentlemen,
+Whether you'll part with her, or call her home.
+What my wife does, I can not help, you know.
+Settle it as you please, you've my consent,
+But for the child, what shall be done with him?
+
+LACH. A pretty question truly! come what may,
+Send his own bantling home to him of course,
+That we may educate him.
+
+PAM. When his own
+Father abandons him, I educate him?
+
+LACH. What said you? how! not educate him, say you?
+Shall we expose him rather, Pamphilus?
+What madness is all this?--My breath and blood!
+I can contain no longer. You oblige me
+To speak, against my will, before Phidippus:
+Think you I'm ignorant whence flow those tears?
+Or why you're thus disorder'd and distress'd?
+First, when you gave as a pretense, _you could not
+Recall your wife from reverence to your mother_,
+She promis'd to retire into the country.
+But now, since that excuse is taken from you,
+You've made _her private lying-in_ another.
+You are mistaken if you think me blind
+To your intentions--That you might at last
+Bring home your stray affections to your wife,
+How long a time to wean you from your mistress
+Did I allow? your wild expense upon her
+How patiently I bore? I press'd, entreated,
+That you would take a wife. 'Twas time, I said.
+At my repeated instances, you married,
+And, as in duty bound to do, complied:
+But now your heart is gone abroad again
+After your mistress, whom to gratify,
+You throw this wanton insult on your wife.
+For I can plainly see you are relaps'd
+Into your former life again.
+
+PAM. Me?
+
+LACH. You.
+And 'tis base in you to invent false causes
+Of quarrel with your wife, that you may live
+In quiet with your mistress, having put
+This witness from you. This your wife perceiv'd.
+For was there any other living reason
+Wherefore she should depart from you?
+
+PHID. He's right,
+That was the very thing.
+
+PAM. I'll take my oath
+'Twas none of those that you have mention'd.
+
+LACH. Ah!
+Recall your wife: or tell me why you will not.
+
+PAM. 'Tis not convenient now.
+
+LACH. Take home the child then;
+For _he_ at least is not in fault. I'll see
+About the mother afterward.
+
+PAM. (_to himself_). Ev'ry way
+I am a wretch, nor know I what to do:
+My father has me in the toils, and I,
+By struggling to get loose, am more entangled.
+I'll hence, since present I shall profit little.
+For I believe they'll hardly educate
+The child against my will; especially
+Seeing my step-mother will second me. (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    How much I think she was to blame.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    How very much I think she was to blame.]
+
+
+SCENE VII.
+
+  _Manent PHIDIPPUS, LACHES._
+
+LACH. Going? how's that? and give me no plain answer!
+--D'ye think he's in his senses?--Well--send home
+The child to me, Phidippus. I'll take care on't.
+
+PHID. I will.--I can not wonder that my wife
+Took this so ill. Women are passionate,
+And can't away with such affronts as these.
+This was their quarrel: nay she told me so,
+Though before him I did not care to speak on't:
+Nor did I credit it at first; but now
+'Tis evident, and I can plainly see
+He has no stomach to a wife.
+
+LACH. Phidippus,
+How shall I act? What's your advice?
+
+PHID. How act?
+I think 'twere best to seek this wench, his mistress.
+Let us expostulate the matter with her,
+Speak to her roundly, nay, e'en threaten her,
+If she has aught to do with him hereafter.
+
+LACH. I'll follow your advice.--Ho, boy! (_Enter a boy_) run over
+To Bacchis. Tell her to come forth to me. (_Exit boy._
+--I must beseech you also to continue
+Your kind assistance to me in this business.
+
+PHID. Ah, Laches! I have told you all along.
+And I repeat it now, that 'tis my wish
+To render our alliance firm and lasting,
+If possible, as I have hopes it will be.
+--But would you have me present at your conference
+With Bacchis?
+
+LACH. No; go, seek the child a nurse. (_Exit PHIDIPPUS._
+
+
+SCENE VIII.
+
+  _Enter BACCHIS attended by her Women._
+
+BACCH. (_to herself_). 'Tis not for nothing Laches wants to see me;
+And, or I'm much deceiv'd, I guess the cause.
+
+LACH. (_to himself_). I must take care my anger don't transport me
+Beyond the bounds of prudence, which may hinder
+My gaining my design on her, and urge me
+To do what I may afterward repent.
+I'll to her.-- (_Going up._) Save you, Bacchis!
+
+BACCH. Save you, Laches!
+
+LACH. Bacchis, I do not doubt but you're surpris'd
+That I should send the boy to call you forth.
+
+BACCH. Aye, and I'm fearful too, when I reflect
+Both who and what I am: lest my vocation
+Should prejudice me in your good opinion.
+My conduct I can fully justify.
+
+LACH. If you speak truth, you're in no danger, woman.
+For I'm arriv'd at that age when a trespass
+Would not be easily forgiven in me.
+Wherefore I study to proceed with caution,
+And to do nothing rashly. If you act,
+And will continue to act honestly,
+It were ungenerous to do you wrong,
+And seeing you deserve it not, unjust.
+
+BACCH. Truly, this conduct asks my highest thanks;
+For he who does the wrong, and then asks pardon,
+Makes but a sorry reparation for it.
+But what's your pleasure?
+
+LACH. You receive the visits
+Of my son Pamphilus----
+
+BACCH. Ah!----
+
+LACH. Let me speak.
+Before he married I endur'd your love.
+--Stay! I've not finish'd all I have to say.----
+He is now married. You then, while 'tis time,
+Seek out another and more constant friend.
+For he will not be fond of you forever,
+Nor you, good faith, forever in your bloom.
+
+BACCH. Who tells you that I still receive the visits
+Of Pamphilus?
+
+LACH. His step-mother.
+
+BACCH. I?
+
+LACH. You.
+And therefore has withdrawn her daughter: therefore
+Meant secretly to kill the new-born child.
+
+BACCH. Did I know any thing, to gain your credit,
+More sacred than an oath, I'd use it, Laches,
+In solemn protestation to assure you
+That I have had no commerce with your son
+Since he was married.
+
+LACH. Good girl! but dy'e know
+What I would farther have you do?
+
+BACCH. Inform me.
+
+LACH. Go to the women here, and offer them
+The same oath. Satisfy their minds, and clear
+Yourself from all reproach in this.
+
+BACCH. I'll do't;
+Although I'm sure no other of my calling
+Would show herself before a married woman
+Upon the same occasion.--But it hurts me
+To see your son suspected on false grounds;
+And that, to those who owe him better thoughts,
+His conduct should seem light. For he deserves
+All my best offices.
+
+LACH. Your conversation has much wrought upon me,
+Gain'd my good-will, and alter'd my opinion.
+For not the women only thought thus of you,
+But I believ'd it too. Now therefore, since
+I've found you better than my expectation,
+Prove still the same, and make my friendship sure.
+If otherwise--But I'll contain myself. I'll not
+Say any thing severe.--But I advise you,
+Rather experience what a friend I am,
+Than what an enemy.
+
+BACCH. I'll do my best.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    LACH. If you speak truth, you're in no danger, woman.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    LACH. Speak but the truth, you're in no danger, woman.]
+
+
+SCENE IX.
+
+  _Enter PHIDIPPUS and a Nurse._
+
+PHID. (_to the Nurse_). Nay, you shall want for nothing at my house;
+I'll give you all that's needful in abundance;
+But when you've eat and drank your fill yourself,
+Take care to satisfy the infant too.
+
+LACH. I see the father of Philumena
+Coming this way. He brings the child a nurse.
+--Phidippus, Bacchis swears most solemnly----
+
+PHID. Is this she?
+
+LACH. Aye.
+
+PHID. They never mind the Gods,
+Nor do I think the Gods mind them.
+
+BACCH. Here are
+My waiting-women: take them, and extort
+By any kind of torment the truth from them.
+--Our present business is, I take it, this:
+That I should win the wife of Pamphilus
+To return home; which so I but effect,
+I sha'n't regret the same of having done
+What others of my calling would avoid.
+
+LACH. Phidippus, we've discover'd that in fact
+We both suspected our wives wrongfully.
+Let's now try her: for if your wife perceives
+Her own suspicions also are unjust,
+She'll drop her anger. If my son's offended
+Because his wife conceal'd her labor from him,
+That's but a trifle; he'll be soon appeas'd.
+--And truly I see nothing in this matter
+That need occasion a divorce.
+
+PHID. 'Fore Heaven,
+I wish that all may end well.
+
+LACH. Here she is:
+Examine her; she'll give you satisfaction.
+
+PHID. What needs all this to Me! You know my mind
+Already, Laches: do but make them easy.
+
+LACH. Bacchis, be sure you keep your promise with me.
+
+BACCH. Shall I go in then for that purpose?
+
+LACH. Aye.
+Go in; remove their doubts, and satisfy them.
+
+BACCH. I will; although I'm very sure my presence
+Will be unwelcome to them; for a wife,
+When parted from her husband, to a mistress
+Is a sure enemy.
+
+LACH. They'll be your friends,
+When once they know the reason of your coming.
+
+PHID. Aye, aye, they'll be your friends, I promise you,
+When they once learn your errand; for you'll free
+Them from mistake, yourself from all suspicion.
+
+BACCH. I'm cover'd with confusion. I'm asham'd
+To see Philumena.-- (_To her women._) You two in after me.
+                            (_Exeunt PHIDIPPUS, BACCHIS, etc._
+
+_LACHES alone._
+
+What is there that could please me more than this,
+That Bacchis, without any loss, should gain
+Favor from them, and do me service too?
+For if she really has withdrawn herself
+From Pamphilus, it will increase, she knows,
+Her reputation, interest, and honor:
+Since by this generous act she will at once
+Oblige my son, and make us all her friends. (_Exit._
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FIFTH.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _PARMENO alone._
+
+I' faith my master holds my labor cheap,
+To send me to the Citadel for nothing,
+Where I have waited the whole day in vain
+For his Myconian, Callidemides.
+There was I sitting, gaping like a fool,
+And running up, if any one appear'd,
+--"Are you, Sir, a Myconian?"--"No, not I."----
+--"But your name's Callidemides?"--"Not it."----
+"And have not you a guest here of the name
+Of Pamphilus?"--All answer'd, No.
+In short, I don't believe there's such a man.
+At last I grew asham'd, and so sneak'd off.
+--But is't not Bacchis that I see come forth
+From our new kinsman? What can she do there?
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    Of Pamphilus?"--All answer'd, No.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Of Pamphilus?"--No--no--All No.]
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter BACCHIS._
+
+BACCH. Oh Parmeno, I'm glad I've met with you.
+Run quick to Pamphilus.
+
+PAR. On what account?
+
+BACCH. Tell him that I desire he'd come.
+
+PAR. To you?
+
+BACCH. No; to Philumena.
+
+PAR. Why? what's the matter?
+
+BACCH. Nothing to you; so ask no questions.
+
+PAR. Must I
+Say nothing else?
+
+BACCH. Yes; tell him too,
+That Myrrhina acknowledges the ring,
+Which formerly he gave me, as her daughter's.
+
+PAR. I understand you. But is that all?
+
+BACCH. All.
+He'll come the moment that you tell him that.
+What! do you loiter?
+
+PAR. No, i' faith, not I.
+I have not had it in my pow'r, I've been
+So bandied to and fro, sent here and there,
+Trotting, and running up and down all day. (_Exit._
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _BACCHIS alone._
+
+What joy have I procur'd to Pamphilus
+By coming here to-day! what blessings brought him!
+And from how many sorrows rescued him!
+His son, by his and their means nearly lost,
+I've sav'd; a wife he meant to put away,
+I have restor'd; and from the strong suspicions
+Of Laches and Phidippus set him free.
+--Of all these things the ring has been the cause.
+For I remember, near ten months ago,
+That he came running home to me one evening,
+Breathless, alone, and much inflam'd with wine,
+Bringing this ring. I was alarm'd at it.
+"Prithee, my dearest Pamphilus, said I,
+Whence comes all this confusion? whence this ring?
+Tell me, my love."--He put me off at first:
+Perceiving this, it made me apprehend
+Something of serious import, and I urg'd him
+More earnestly to tell me.--He confess'd
+That, as he came along, he had committed
+A rape upon a virgin--whom he knew not----
+And as she struggled, forc'd from her that ring:
+Which Myrrhina now seeing on my finger,
+Immediately acknowledg'd, and inquir'd
+How I came by it. I told all this story:
+Whence 'twas discover'd that Philumena
+Was she who had been ravish'd, and the child
+Conceiv'd from that encounter.--That I've been
+The instrument of all these joys I'm glad,
+Though other courtesans would not be so;
+Nor is it for our profit and advantage
+That lovers should be happy in their marriage.
+But never will I, for my calling's sake,
+Suffer ingratitude to taint my mind.
+I found him, while occasion gave him leave,
+Kind, pleasant, and good-humor'd: and this marriage
+Happen'd unluckily, I must confess.
+Yet I did nothing to estrange his love;
+And since I have receiv'd much kindness from him,
+'Tis fit I should endure this one affliction.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    I've sav'd; a wife he meant to put away
+  _Colman 1768_
+    I sav'd; a wife he meant to put away]
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Enter at a distance PAMPHILUS and PARMENO._
+
+PAM. Be sure you prove this to me, Parmeno;
+Prithee, be sure on't. Do not bubble me
+With false and short-liv'd joy.
+
+PAR. 'Tis even so.
+
+PAM. For certain?
+
+PAR. Aye, for certain.
+
+PAM. I'm in heaven,
+If this be so.
+
+PAR. You'll find it very true.
+
+PAM. Hold, I beseech you.--I'm afraid I think
+One thing, while you relate another.
+
+PAR. Well?
+
+PAM. You said, I think, "that Myrrhina discover'd
+The ring on Bacchis' finger was her own."
+
+PAR. She did.
+
+PAM. "The same I gave her formerly.
+--And Bacchis bade you run and tell me this."
+Is it not so?
+
+PAR. I tell you, Sir, it is.
+
+PAM. Who is more fortunate, more bless'd than I?
+--What shall I give you for this news? what? what?
+I don't know.
+
+PAR. But I know.
+
+PAM. What?
+
+PAR. Just nothing.
+For I see nothing of advantage to you,
+Or in the message, or myself.
+
+PAM. Shall I
+Permit you to go unrewarded; you,
+Who have restor'd me ev'n from death to life?
+Ah, Parmeno, d'ye think me so ungrateful?
+--But yonder's Bacchis standing at the door.
+She waits for me, I fancy. I'll go to her.
+
+BACCH. (_seeing him_). Pamphilus, save you.
+
+PAM. Bacchis! my dear Bacchis!
+My guardian! my protectress!
+
+BACCH. All is well:
+And I'm o'erjoy'd at it.
+
+PAM. Your actions speak it.
+You're still the charming girl I ever found you.
+Your presence, company, and conversation,
+Come where you will, bring joy and pleasure with them.
+
+BACCH. And you, in faith, are still the same as ever,
+The sweetest, most engaging man on earth.
+
+PAM. Ha! ha! ha! that speech from you, dear Bacchis?
+
+BACCH. You lov'd your wife with reason, Pamphilus:
+Never that I remember, did I see her
+Before to-day; and she's a charming woman.
+
+PAM. Speak truth.
+
+BACCH. So Heaven help me, Pamphilus!
+
+PAM. Say, have you told my father any part
+Of this tale?
+
+BACCH. Not a word.
+
+PAM. Nor is there need.
+Let all be hush! I would not have it here,
+As in a comedy, where every thing
+Is known to every body. Here those persons
+Whom it concerns already know it; they,
+Who 'twere not meet should know it, never shall.
+
+BACCH. I promise you it may with ease be hid.
+Myrrhina told Phidippus that my oath
+Convinc'd her, and she held you clear.
+
+PAM. Good! good!
+All will be well, and all, I hope, end well.
+
+PAR. May I know, Sir, what good I've done to-day?
+And what's the meaning of your conversation?
+
+PAM. No.
+
+PAR. I suspect, however.--"I restore him
+From death to life"--which way?----
+
+PAM. Oh, Parmeno,
+You can't conceive the good you've done to-day;
+From what distress you have deliver'd me.
+
+PAR. Ah, but I know, and did it with design.
+
+PAM. Oh, I'm convinced of that. (_Ironically._)
+
+PAR. Did Parmeno
+Ever let slip an opportunity
+Of doing what he ought, Sir?
+
+PAM. Parmeno,
+In after me!
+
+PAR. I follow.--By my troth,
+I've done more good to-day, without design,
+Than ever with design in all my life.----
+Clap your hands!
+
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+           *       *       *       *
+
+
+PHORMIO.
+
+
+PERSONS REPRESENTED.
+
+  PROLOGUE.
+  DEMIPHO.
+  CHREMES.
+  ANTIPHO.
+  PHAEDRIA.
+  CRATINUS.
+  CRITO.
+  HEGIO.
+  PHORMIO.
+  DORIO.
+  GETA.
+  DAVUS, _and other Servants._
+
+  NAUSISTRATA.
+  SOPHRONA.
+
+SCENE, ATHENS.
+
+
+
+
+PROLOGUE.
+
+The Old Bard finding it impossible
+To draw our Poet from the love of verse,
+And bury him in indolence, attempts
+By calumny to scare him from the stage;
+Pretending that in all his former plays
+The characters are low, and mean the style;
+Because he ne'er describ'd a mad-brain'd youth,
+Who in his fits of frenzy thought he saw
+A hind, the dogs in full cry after her;
+Her too imploring and beseeching him
+To give her aid.--But did he understand
+That, when the piece was first produc'd, it ow'd
+More to the actor than himself its safety,
+He would not be thus bold to give offense.
+--But if there's any one who says, or thinks,
+"That had not the Old Bard assail'd him first,
+Our Poet could not have devis'd a Prologue,
+Having no matter for abuse;"--let such
+Receive for answer, "that although the prize
+To all advent'rers is held out in common,
+The Veteran Poet meant to drive our Bard
+From study into want: _He_ therefore chose
+To answer, though he would not first offend.
+And had his adversary but have prov'd
+A generous rival, he had had due praise;
+Let him then bear these censures, and reflect
+Of his own slanders 'tis the due return.
+But henceforth I shall cease to speak of him,
+Although he ceases not himself to rail."
+But now what I'd request of you, attend:
+To-day I bring a new play, which the Greeks
+Call Epidicazomenos; the Latins,
+From the chief character, name Phormio:
+Phormio, whom you will find a parasite,
+And the chief engine of the plot.--And now,
+If to our Poet you are well inclin'd,
+Give ear; be favorable; and be silent!
+Let us not meet the same ill fortune now
+That we before encounter'd, when our troop
+Was by a tumult driven from their place;
+To which the actor's merit, seconded
+By your good-will and candor, has restor'd us.
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FIRST.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _DAVUS alone._
+
+Geta, my worthy friend and countryman,
+Came to me yesterday: for some time past
+I've ow'd him some small balance of account:
+This he desir'd I would make up: I have;
+And brought it with me: for his master's son,
+I am inform'd, has lately got a wife:
+So I suppose this sum is scrap'd together
+For a bride-gift. Alack, how hard it is
+That he, who is already poor, should still
+Throw in his mite to swell the rich man's heap!
+What he scarce, ounce by ounce, from short allowance,
+Sorely defrauding his own appetite,
+Has spar'd, poor wretch! shall she sweep all at once,
+Unheeding with what labor it was got?
+Geta, moreover, shall be struck for more;
+Another gift, when madam's brought to bed;
+Another too, when master's birthday's kept,
+And they initiate him.----All this mamma
+Shall carry off, the bantling her excuse.
+But is that Geta?
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter GETA._
+
+GETA (_at entering._) If a red-hair'd man
+Inquire for me----
+
+DAVUS. No more! he's here.
+
+GETA. Oh, Davus!
+The very man that I was going after.
+
+DAVUS. Here, take this! (_Gives a purse._) 'Tis all told: you'll find
+    it right;
+The sum I ow'd you.
+
+GETA. Honest, worthy Davus!
+I thank you for your punctuality.
+
+DAVUS. And well you may, as men and times go now,
+Things, by my troth, are come to such a pass,
+If a man pays you what he owes, you're much
+Beholden to him.--But, pray, why so sad?
+
+GETA. I?--You can scarce imagine in what dread.
+What danger I am in.
+
+DAVUS. How so?
+
+GETA. I'll tell you,
+So you will keep it secret.
+
+DAVUS. Away, fool!
+The man whose faith in money you have tried,
+D'ye fear to trust with words?--And to what end
+Should I deceive you?
+
+GETA. List, then!
+
+DAVUS. I'm all ear.
+
+GETA. D'ye know our old man's elder brother, Chremes?
+
+DAVUS. Know him? aye, sure.
+
+GETA. You do?--And his son Phaedria?
+
+DAVUS. As well as I know you.
+
+GETA. It so fell out,
+Both the old men were forc'd to journey forth
+At the same season. He to Lemnos, ours
+Into Cilicia, to an old acquaintance
+Who had decoy'd the old curmudgeon thither
+By wheedling letters, almost promising
+Mountains of gold.
+
+DAVUS. To one that had so much
+More than enough already?
+
+GETA. Prithee, peace!
+Money's his passion.
+
+DAVUS. Oh, would I had been
+A man of fortune, I!
+
+GETA. At their departure,
+The two old gentlemen appointed me
+A kind of governor to both their sons.
+
+DAVUS. A hard task, Geta!
+
+GETA. Troth, I found it so.
+My angry Genius for my sins ordain'd it.
+At first I took upon me to oppose:
+In short, while I was trusty to th' old man,
+The young one made my shoulders answer for it.
+
+DAVUS. So I suppose: for what a foolish task
+To kick against the pricks!
+
+GETA. I then resolv'd
+To give them their own way in every thing.
+
+DAVUS. Aye, then you made your market.
+
+GETA. Our young spark
+Play'd no mad pranks at first: but Phaedria
+Got him immediately a music-girl:
+Fond of her to distraction! she belong'd
+To a most avaricious, sordid pimp;
+Nor had we aught to give;--th' old gentleman
+Had taken care of that. Naught else remain'd,
+Except to feed his eyes, to follow her,
+To lead her out to school, and hand her home.
+We too, for lack of other business, gave
+Our time to Phaedria. Opposite the school,
+Whither she went to take her lessons, stood
+A barber's shop, wherein most commonly
+We waited her return. Hither one day
+Came a young man in tears: we were amaz'd,
+And ask'd the cause. Never (said he, and wept)
+Did I suppose the weight of poverty
+A load so sad, _so_ insupportable,
+As it appear'd but now.--I saw but now,
+Not far from hence, a miserable virgin
+Lamenting her dead mother. Near the corpse
+She sat; nor friend, nor kindred, nor acquaintance,
+Except one poor old woman, was there near
+To aid the funeral. I pitied her:
+Her beauty, too, was exquisite.--In short,
+He mov'd us all: and Antipho at once
+Cried, "Shall we go and visit her?"--Why, aye,
+"I think so," said the other; "let us go!"
+"Conduct us, if you please."--We went, arriv'd.
+And saw her.--Beautiful she was indeed!
+More justly to be reckon'd so, for she
+Had no additions to set off her beauty.
+Her hair dishevel'd, barefoot, woe-begone,
+In tears, and miserably clad: that if
+The life and soul of beauty had not dwelt
+Within her very form, all these together
+Must have extinguish'd it.--The spark, possess'd
+Already with the music-girl, just cried,
+"She's well enough."--But our young gentleman----
+
+DAVUS. Fell, I suppose, in love.
+
+GETA. In love, indeed.
+But mark the end! next day, away he goes
+To the old woman straight, beseeching her
+To let him have the girl.--"Not she, indeed!
+Nor was it like a gentleman," she said,
+"For him to think on't: She's a citizen,
+An honest girl, and born of honest parents:----
+If he would marry her indeed, by law
+He might do _that_; on no account, aught else."
+--Our spark, distracted, knew not what to do:
+At once he long'd to marry her, at once
+Dreaded his absent father.
+
+DAVUS. Would not he,
+Had he return'd, have giv'n consent?
+
+GETA. To wed
+A girl of neither family nor fortune?
+Never.
+
+DAVUS. What then?
+
+GETA. What then! There is a parasite,
+One Phormio, a bold, enterprising fellow,
+Who--all the Gods confound him!----
+
+DAVUS. What did he?
+
+GETA. Gave us the following counsel.--"There's a law
+That orphan Girls should wed their next of kin,
+Which law obliges too their next of kin
+To marry them."--I'll say that you're her kinsman,
+And sue a writ against you. I'll pretend
+To be her father's friend, and bring the cause
+Before the judges. Who her father was,
+Her mother who, and how she's your relation,
+All this sham evidence I'll forge; by which
+The cause will turn entirely in my favor.
+You shall disprove no tittle of the charge;
+So I succeed.--Your father will return;
+Prosecute me;--what then?--The girl's our own."
+
+DAVUS. A pleasant piece of impudence!
+
+GETA. It pleas'd
+Our spark at least: he put it into practice;
+Came into court; and he was cast; and married.
+
+DAVUS. How say you?
+
+GETA. Just as you have heard.
+
+DAVUS. Oh Geta,
+What will become of you?
+
+GETA. I don't know, faith.
+But only this I know, what'er chance brings,
+I'll patiently endure.
+
+DAVUS. Why, that's well said,
+And like a man.
+
+GETA. All my dependence is
+Upon myself.
+
+DAVUS. And that's the best.
+
+GETA. I might
+Beg one indeed to intercede for me,
+Who may plead thus--"Nay, pardon him this once!
+But if he fails again, I've not a word
+To say for him."--And well if he don't add,
+"When I go hence e'en hang him!"
+
+DAVUS. What of him,
+Gentleman-usher to the music-girl?
+How goes he on?
+
+GETA. So, so!
+
+DAVUS. He has not much
+To give, perhaps.
+
+GETA. Just nothing, but mere hope.
+
+DAVUS. His father too, is he return'd?
+
+GETA. Not yet.
+
+DAVUS. Nor your old man, when do you look for him?
+
+GETA. I don't know certainly: but I have heard
+That there's a letter from him come to port,
+Which I am going for.
+
+DAVUS. Would you aught else
+With me, good Geta?
+
+GETA. Nothing, but farewell! (_Exit DAVUS._
+Ho, boy! what, nobody at home! (_Enter boy._) Take this
+And give it Dorcium. (_Gives the Purse, and Exit._)
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  To marry them."
+  _close quote missing in Harper text_
+
+    You shall disprove no tittle of the charge
+  _Harper text reads "no title"_]
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _ANTIPHO, PHAEDRIA._
+
+ANT. Is it come to this?
+My father, Phaedria!--my best friend!--That I
+Should tremble, when I think of his return!
+When, had I not been inconsiderate,
+I, as 'tis meet, might have expected him.
+
+PHAED. What now?
+
+ANT. Is that a question? and from you?
+Who know the atrocious fault I have committed?
+Oh, that it ne'er had enter'd Phormio's mind
+To give such counsel! nor to urge me on,
+In the extravagance of blind desire,
+To this rash act, the source of my misfortunes!
+I should not have possess'd her: that indeed
+Had made me wretched some few days.--But then
+This constant anguish had not torn my mind.----
+
+PHAED. I hear you.
+
+ANT. --While each moment I expect
+His coming to divorce me.
+
+PHAED. Other men,
+For lack of what they love, are miserable;
+Abundance is your grievance. You're too rich
+A lover, Antipho! For your condition
+Is to be wish'd and pray'd for. Now, by Heaven,
+Might I, so long as you have done, enjoy
+My love, it were bought cheaply with my life.
+How hard my lot, unsatisfied, unbless'd!
+How happy yours, in full possession!--One
+Of lib'ral birth, ingenuous disposition,
+And honest fame, without expense, you've got:
+The wife, whom you desir'd!--in all things bless'd,
+But want the disposition to believe so.
+Had you, like me, a scoundrel pimp to deal with,
+Then you'd perceive--But sure 'tis in our nature
+Never to be contented.
+
+ANT. Now to me,
+Phaedria, 'tis you appear the happy man.
+Still quite at large, free to consider still,
+To keep, pursue, or quit her: I, alas!
+Have so entangled and perplex'd myself,
+That I can neither keep nor let her go.
+--What now? isn't that our Geta, whom I see
+Running this way?--'Tis he himself-- Ah me,
+How do I fear what news he brings!
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Enter at a distance _GETA, _running._
+
+GETA. Confusion!
+A quick thought, Geta, or you're quite undone,
+So many evils take you unprepar'd;
+Which I know neither how to shun nor how
+To extricate myself: for this bold stroke
+Of ours can't long be hid.
+
+ANT. What's this confusion?
+
+GETA. Then I have scarce a moment's time to think.
+My master is arriv'd.
+
+ANT. What mischief's that?
+
+GETA. Who, when he shall have heard it, by what art
+Shall I appease his anger?--Shall I speak?
+'Twill irritate him.--Hold my peace?--enrage him.----
+Defend myself?--impossible?--Oh, wretch!
+Now for myself in pain, now Antipho
+Distracts my mind.--But him I pity most;
+For him I fear; 'tis he retains me here:
+For, were it not for him, I'd soon provide
+For my own safety--aye, and be reveng'd
+On the old graybeard--carry something off,
+And show my master a light pair of heels.
+
+ANT. What scheme to rob and run away is this?
+
+GETA. But where shall I find Antipho? where seek him?
+
+PHAED. He mentions you.
+
+ANT. I know not what, but doubt
+That he's the messenger of some ill news.
+
+PHAED. Have you your wits?
+
+GETA. I'll home: he's chiefly there.
+
+PHAED. Let's call him back!
+
+ANT. Holloa, you! stop!
+
+GETA. Heyday!
+Authority enough, be who you will.
+
+ANT. Geta!
+
+GETA (_turning_). The very man I wish'd to meet!
+
+ANT. Tell us, what news?--in one word, if you can.
+
+GETA. I'll do it.
+
+ANT. Speak!
+
+GETA. This moment at the port----
+
+ANT. My father?
+
+GETA. Even so.
+
+ANT. Undone!
+
+PHAED. Heyday!
+
+ANT. What shall I do?
+
+PHAED. What say you? (_To GETA._)
+
+GETA. That I've seen
+His father, Sir,--your uncle.
+
+ANT. How shall I,
+Wretch that I am! oppose this sudden evil!
+Should I be so unhappy to be torn
+From thee, my Phanium, life's not worth my care.
+
+GETA. Since that's the case then, Antipho, you ought
+To be the more upon your guard.
+
+ANT. Alas!
+I'm not myself.
+
+GETA. But now you should be most so, Antipho.
+For if your father should discern your fear,
+He'll think you conscious of a fault.
+
+PHAED. That's true.
+
+ANT. I can not help it, nor seem otherwise.
+
+GETA. How would you manage in worse difficulties?
+
+ANT. Since I'm not equal to bear this, to those
+I should be more unequal.
+
+GETA. This is nothing.
+Pooh, Phaedria, let him go! why waste our time?
+I will be gone. (_Going._)
+
+PHAED. And I. (_Going._)
+
+ANT. Nay, prithee, stay!
+What if I should dissemble?--Will that do?
+
+(_Endeavoring to assume another air._
+
+GETA. Ridiculous!
+
+ANT. Nay, look at me! will that
+Suffice?
+
+GETA. Not it.
+
+ANT. Or this?
+
+GETA. Almost.
+
+ANT. Or this?
+
+GETA. Aye! now you've hit it. Do but stick to that;
+Answer him boldly; give him hit for dash,
+Nor let him bear you down with angry words.
+
+ANT. I understand you.
+
+GETA. "Forc'd"--"against your will"----
+"By law"--"by sentence of the court"--d'ye take me?
+--But what old gentleman is that I see
+At t'other end o' th' street?
+
+ANT. 'Tis he himself.
+I dare not face him. (_Going._)
+
+GETA. Ah! what is't you do?
+Where d'ye run, Antipho! stay, stay, I say.
+
+ANT. I know myself and my offense too well:
+To you, then, I commend my life and love. (_Exit._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    At t'other end o' th' street?
+    ANT. 'Tis he himself.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Turning the corner of the street?
+    ANT. 'Tis he.]
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _Manent PHAEDRIA and GETA._
+
+PHAED. Geta, what now?
+
+GETA. You shall be roundly chid;
+I soundly drubb'd; or I am much deceiv'd.
+--But what e'en now we counsel'd Antipho,
+It now behooves ourselves to practice, Phaedria.
+
+PHAED. Talk not of what behooves, but say at once
+What you would have me do.
+
+GETA. Do you remember
+The plea whereon you both agreed to rest,
+At your first vent'ring on this enterprise?
+"That Phormio's suit was just, sure, equitable,
+Not to be controverted."----
+
+PHAED. I remember.
+
+GETA. Now then that plea! or, if it's possible,
+One better or more plausible.
+
+PHAED. I'll do't.
+
+GETA. Do you attack him first! I'll lie in ambush,
+To reinforce you, if you give ground.
+
+PHAED. Well. (_They retire._)
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _Enter DEMIPHO at another part of the stage._
+
+DEM. How's this? a wife! what, Antipho! and ne'er
+Ask my consent?--nor my authority----
+Or, grant we pass authority, not dread
+My wrath at least?--To have no sense of shame?
+--Oh, impudence!--Oh, Geta, rare adviser!
+
+GETA. Geta at last.
+
+DEM. What they will say to me,
+Or what excuse they will devise, I wonder.
+
+GETA. Oh, we have settled that already: think
+Of something else.
+
+DEM. Will he say this to me,
+--"Against my will I did it"--"Forc'd by law"----
+--I hear you: I confess it.
+
+GETA. Very well.
+
+DEM. But conscious of the fraud, without a word
+In answer or defense, to yield the cause
+Tamely to your opponents--did the law
+Force you to _that_ too?
+
+PHAED. That's home.
+
+GETA. Give me leave.
+I'll manage it.
+
+DEM. I know not what to do:
+This stroke has come so unawares upon me,
+Beyond all expectation, past belief.
+--I'm so enrag'd, I can't compose my mind
+To think upon it.--Wherefore ev'ry man,
+When his affairs go on most swimmingly,
+Ev'n then it most behooves to arm himself
+Against the coming storm: loss, danger, exile,
+Returning ever let him look to meet;
+His son in fault, wife dead, or daughter sick----
+All common accidents, and may have happen'd;
+That nothing should seem new or strange. But if
+Aught has fall'n out beyond his hopes, all that
+Let him account clear gain.
+
+GETA. Oh, Phaedria,
+'Tis wonderful how much a wiser man
+I am than my old master. My misfortunes
+I have consider'd well.--At his return
+Doom'd to grind ever in the mill, beat, chain'd,
+Or set to labor in the fields; of these
+Nothing will happen new. If aught falls out
+Beyond my hopes, all that I'll count clear gain.
+--But why delay t'accost th' old gentleman,
+And speak him fair at first? (_PHAEDRIA goes forward._)
+
+DEM. Methinks I see
+My nephew Phaedria.
+
+PHAED. My good Uncle, welcome!
+
+DEM. Your servant!--But where's Antipho?
+
+PHAED. I'm glad
+To see you safe----
+
+DEM. Well, well!--But answer me.
+
+PHAED. He's well: hard by.--But have affairs turn'd out
+According to your wishes?
+
+DEM. Would they had!
+
+PHAED. Why, what's the matter?
+
+DEM. What's the matter, Phaedria?
+You've clapp'd up a fine marriage in my absence.
+
+PHAED. What! are you angry with him about that?
+
+GETA. Well counterfeited!
+
+DEM. Should I not be angry?
+Let me but set eyes on him, he shall know
+That his offenses have converted me
+From a mild father to a most severe one.
+
+PHAED. He has done nothing, Uncle, to offend you.
+
+DEM. See, all alike! the whole gang hangs together:
+Know one, and you know all.
+
+PHAED. Nay, 'tis not so.
+
+DEM. One does a fault, the other's hard at hand
+To bear him out: when t'other slips, _he's_ ready:
+Each in their turn!
+
+GETA. I' faith th' old gentleman
+Has blunder'd on their humors to a hair.
+
+DEM. If 'twere not so, you'd not defend him, Phaedria.
+
+PHAED. If, Uncle, Antipho has done a wrong,
+Or to his interest or reputation,
+I am content he suffer as he may:
+But if another, with malicious fraud,
+Has laid a snare for unexperienced youth,
+And triumph'd o'er it; can you lay the blame
+On us, or on the judges, who oft take
+Through envy from the rich, or from compassion
+Add to the poor?
+
+GETA. Unless I knew the cause,
+I should imagine this was truth he spoke.
+
+DEM. What judge can know the merits on your side,
+When you put in no plea; as he has done?
+
+PHAED. He has behav'd like an ingenuous youth.
+When he came into court, he wanted pow'r
+To utter what he had prepar'd, so much
+He was abash'd by fear and modesty.
+
+GETA. Oh brave!--But why, without more loss of time,
+Don't I accost th' old man! (_Going up._) My master, welcome!
+I am rejoic'd to see you safe return'd.
+
+DEM. What! my good master Governor! your slave!
+The prop! the pillar of our family!
+To whom, at my departure hence, I gave
+My son in charge.
+
+GETA. I've heard you for some time
+Accuse us all quite undeservedly,
+And me, of all, most undeservedly.
+For what could I have done in this affair?
+A slave the laws will not allow to plead;
+Nor can he be an evidence.
+
+DEM. I grant it.
+Nay more--the boy was bashful--I allow it.
+--You but a slave.--But if she had been prov'd
+Ever so plainly a relation, why
+Needed he marry her? and why not rather
+Give her, according to the law, a portion,
+And let her seek some other for a husband?
+Why did he rather bring a beggar home?
+
+GETA. 'Twas not the thought, but money that was wanting.
+
+DEM. He might have borrow'd it!
+
+GETA. Have borrow'd it!
+Easily said.
+
+DEM. If not to be had else,
+On interest.
+
+GETA. Nay, now indeed you've hit it!
+Who would advance him money in your life?
+
+DEM. Well, well, it shall not, and it can not be,
+That I should suffer her to live with him
+As wife a single day. There is no cause.
+--Would I might see that fellow, or could tell
+Where he resides!
+
+GETA. What, Phormio!
+
+DEM. The girl's Patron.
+
+GETA. He shall be with you straight.
+
+DEM. Where's Antipho?
+
+PHAED. Abroad.
+
+DEM. Go, Phaedria; find him, bring him here.
+
+PHAED. I'll go directly. (_Exit_
+
+GETA (_aside_). Aye, to Pamphila. (_Exit_
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    DEM. If 'twere not so, you'd not defend him, Phaedria.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    DEM. For, were't not so, you'd not defend him, Phaedria.]
+
+
+SCENE VII.
+
+  _DEMIPHO alone._
+
+I'll home, and thank the Gods for my return:
+Thence to the Forum, and convene some friends,
+Who may be present at this interview,
+That Phormio may not take me unprepar'd. (_Exit._
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE SECOND.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _PHORMIO, GETA._
+
+PHOR. And Antipho, you say, has slunk away,
+Fearing his father's presence?
+
+GETA. Very true.
+
+PHOR. Poor Phanium left alone?
+
+GETA. 'Tis even so.
+
+PHOR. And the old gentleman enrag'd!
+
+GETA. Indeed.
+
+PHOR. The sum of all then, Phormio, rests on you:
+On you, and you alone. You've bak'd this cake;
+E'en eat it for your pains. About it then!
+
+GETA. I do beseech you.
+
+PHOR. (_to himself._) What if he inquire?----
+
+GETA. Our only hope's in you.
+
+PHOR. (_to himself_). I have it!--Then,
+Suppose he offer to return the girl?----
+
+GETA. You urg'd us to it.
+
+PHOR. (_to himself_). Aye! it shall be so.
+
+GETA. Assist us!
+
+PHOR. Let him come, old gentleman!
+'Tis here: it is engender'd: I am arm'd
+With all my counsels.
+
+GETA. What d'ye mean to do?
+
+PHOR. What would you have me do, unless contrive
+That Phanium may remain, that Antipho
+Be freed from blame, and all the old man's rage
+Turn'd upon me?
+
+GETA. Brave fellow! friend indeed!
+And yet I often tremble for you, Phormio,
+Lest all this noble confidence of yours
+End in the stocks at last.
+
+PHOR. Ah, 'tis not so.
+I'm an old stager too, and know my road.
+How many men d'ye think I've bastinadoed
+Almost to death? Aliens and citizens?
+The oft'ner, still the safer.--Tell me then,
+Didst ever hear of actions for assault
+And batt'ry brought against me?
+
+GETA. How comes that?
+
+PHOR. Because the net's not stretch'd to catch the hawk,
+Or kite, who do us wrong; but laid for those
+Who do us none at all: In them there's profit,
+In those mere labor lost. Thus other men
+May be in danger who have aught to lose;
+I, the world knows, have nothing.--You will say,
+They'll seize my person.--No, they won't maintain
+A fellow of my stomach.--And they're wise,
+In my opinion, if for injuries
+They'll not return the highest benefit.
+
+GETA. It is impossible for Antipho
+To give you thanks sufficient.
+
+PHOR. Rather say,
+No man sufficiently can thank his patron.
+You at free cost to come! anointed, bath'd,
+Easy and gay! while he's eat up with care
+And charge, to cater for your entertainment!
+He gnaws his heart, you laugh; eat first, sit first,
+And see a doubtful banquet plac'd before you!
+
+GETA. Doubtful! what phrase is that?
+
+PHOR. Where you're in doubt,
+What you shall rather choose. Delights like these
+When you but think how sweet, how dear, they are;
+Him that affords them must you not suppose
+A very deity?
+
+GETA. The old man's here.
+Mind what you do! the first attack's the fiercest:
+Sustain but that, the rest will be mere play. (_They retire._)
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    In those mere labor lost. Thus other men
+  _Colman 1768_
+    In these mere labor lost. Thus other men]
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter at a distance DEMIPHO--HEGIO, CRATINUS, CRITO, following._
+
+DEM. Was ever man so grossly treated, think ye?
+--This way, Sirs, I beseech you.
+
+GETA. He's enrag'd!
+
+PHOR. Hist! mind your cue: I'll work him.
+--(_Coming forward, and speaking loud._) Oh, ye Gods!
+Does he deny that Phanium's his relation?
+What, Demipho! does Demipho deny
+That Phanium is his kinswoman?
+
+GETA. He does.
+
+PHOR. And who her father was, he does not know?
+
+GETA. No.
+
+DEM. (_to the Lawyers_). Here's the very fellow, I believe,
+Of whom I have been speaking.--Follow me!
+
+PHOR. (_aloud_). And that he does not know who Stilpho was?
+
+GETA. No.
+
+PHOR. Ah! because, poor thing, she's left in want,
+Her father is unknown, and she despis'd.
+What will not avarice do?
+
+GETA. If you insinuate
+My master's avaricious, woe be to you!
+
+DEM. (_behind_). Oh impudence! he dares accuse me first.
+
+PHOR. As to the youth, I can not take offense,
+If he had not much knowledge of him; since,
+Now in the vale of years, in want, his work
+His livelihood, he nearly altogether
+Liv'd in the country: where he held a farm
+Under my father. I have often heard
+The poor old man complain that this his kinsman
+Neglected him.--But what a man! A man
+Of most exceeding virtue.
+
+GETA. Much at one:
+Yourself and he you praise so much.
+
+PHOR. Away!
+Had I not thought him what I've spoken of him,
+I would not for his daughter's sake have drawn
+So many troubles on our family,
+Whom this old cuff now treats so scandalously.
+
+GETA. What, still abuse my absent master, rascal!
+
+PHOR. It is no more than he deserves.
+
+GETA. How, villain!
+
+DEM. Geta! (_Calling._)
+
+GETA. Rogue, robber, pettifogger! (_To PHORMIO pretending not to hear
+    DEMIPHO._)
+
+DEM. Geta!
+
+PHOR. Answer. (_Apart to GETA._)
+
+GETA (_turning_). Who's that?--Oh!
+
+DEM. Peace!
+
+GETA. Behind your back
+All day without cessation has this knave
+Thrown scurvy terms upon you, such as none
+But men like him can merit.
+
+DEM. Well! have done.
+(_Putting GETA by, then addressing PHORMIO._)
+Young man! permit me first to ask one question.
+And, if you please, vouchsafe to answer me.
+--Who was this friend of yours? Explain! and how
+Might he pretend that I was his relation?
+
+PHOR. So! you fish for't, as if you did not know. (_Sneeringly._)
+
+DEM. Know! I!
+
+PHOR. Aye; you.
+
+DEM. Not I: You that maintain
+I ought, instruct me how to recollect.
+
+PHOR. What! not acquainted with your cousin?
+
+DEM. Plague!
+Tell me his name.
+
+PHOR. His name? aye!
+
+DEM. Well, why don't you?
+
+PHOR. Confusion! I've forgot the name. (_Apart._)
+
+DEM. What say you?
+
+PHOR. Geta, if you remember, prompt me.
+                     (_Apart to GETA._)--Pshaw,
+I will not tell.--As if you did not know,
+You're come to try me. (_Loud to DEMIPHO._)
+
+DEM. How! try you?
+
+GETA. Stilpho. (_Whispering PHORMIO._)
+
+PHOR. What is't to me?--Stilpho.
+
+DEM. Whom say you?
+
+PHOR. Stilpho:
+Did you know Stilpho, Sir?
+
+DEM. I neither know him,
+Nor ever had I kinsman of that name.
+
+PHOR. How! are you not asham'd?--But if, poor man,
+Stilpho had left behind him an estate
+Of some ten talents----
+
+DEM. Out upon you!
+
+PHOR. Then
+You would have been the first to trace your line
+Quite from your grandsire and great grandsire.
+
+DEM. True.
+Had I then come, I'd have explain'd at large
+How she was my relation: so do you!
+Say, how is she my kinswoman?
+
+GETA. Well said!
+Master, you're right.--Take heed! (_Apart to PHORMIO._)
+
+PHOR. I have explain'd
+All that most clearly, where I ought, in court.
+If it were false, why did not then your son
+Refute it?
+
+DEM. Do you tell me of my son?
+Whose folly can't be spoke of as it ought.
+
+PHOR. But you, who are so wise, go seek the judge:
+Ask sentence in the self-same cause again:
+Because you're lord alone, and have alone
+Pow'r to obtain judgment of the court
+Twice in one cause.
+
+DEM. Although I have been wrong'd,
+Yet, rather than engage in litigation,
+And rather than hear you; as if she were
+Indeed related to us, as the law
+Ordains, I'll pay her dowry: take her hence,
+And with her take five minae.
+
+PHOR. Ha! ha! ha!
+A pleasant gentleman!
+
+DEM. Why, what's the matter?
+Have I demanded any thing unjust?
+Sha'n't I obtain this neither, which is law?
+
+PHOR. Is't even so, Sir?--Like a common harlot,
+When you've abus'd her, does the law ordain
+That you should pay her hire and whistle her off?
+Or, lest a citizen through poverty
+Bring shame upon her honor, does it order
+That she be given to her next of kin
+To pass her life with him? which you forbid.
+
+DEM. Aye; to her next of kin: But why to us;
+Or wherefore?
+
+PHOR. Oh! that matter is all settled:
+Think on't no more.
+
+DEM. Not think on't! I shall think
+Of nothing else till there's an end of this.
+
+PHOR. Words, words!
+
+DEM. I'll make them good.
+
+PHOR. But, after all,
+With you I have no business, Demipho!
+Your son is cast, not you: for at your age
+The coupling-time is over.
+
+DEM. Be assur'd
+That all I've said he says: or I'll forbid
+Him and this wife of his my house.
+
+GETA. He's angry. (_Apart._)
+
+PHOR. No; you'll think better on't.
+
+DEM. Are you resolv'd,
+Wretch that you are, to thwart me ev'ry way?
+
+  {_PHORMIO and GETA apart._}
+
+PHOR. He fears, though he dissembles.
+
+GETA. Well begun!
+
+PHOR. Well; but what can't be cur'd must be endur'd:
+'Twere well, and like yourself, that we were friends.
+
+DEM. I! friend to you? or choose to see or hear you!
+
+PHOR. Do but agree with her, you'll have a girl
+To comfort your old age. Your years, consider!
+
+DEM. Plague on your comfort! take her to yourself!
+
+PHOR. Ah! don't be angry!
+
+DEM. One word more, I've done.
+See that you fetch away this wench, and soon,
+Or I shall turn her headlong out o'doors.
+So much for Phormio!
+
+PHOR. Offer but to touch her
+In any other manner than beseems
+A gentlewoman and a citizen,
+And I shall bring a swinging writ against you.
+So much for Demipho!--If I am wanted,
+I am at home, d'ye hear? (_Apart to GETA._)
+
+GETA. I understand. (_Apart._) (_Exit PHORMIO._
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+DEM. With how much care, and what solicitude,
+My son affects me, with this wretched match
+Having embroil'd himself and me! nor comes
+Into my sight, that I might know at least
+Or what he says, or thinks of this affair.
+Go you, and see if he's come home or no.
+
+GETA. I'm gone. (_Exit._
+
+DEM. You see, Sirs, how this matter stands.
+What shall I do? Say, Hegio!
+
+HEGIO. Meaning me?
+Cratinus, please you, should speak first.
+
+DEM. Say then,
+Cratinus!
+
+CRA. Me d'ye question?
+
+DEM. You.
+
+CRA. Then I,
+Whatever steps are best I'd have you take.
+Thus it appears to me. Whate'er your son
+Has in your absence done is null and void,
+In law and equity.--And so you'll find.
+That's my opinion.
+
+DEM. Say now, Hegio!
+
+HEGIO. He has, I think, pronounc'd most learnedly.
+But so 'tis: many men, and many minds!
+Each has his fancy: Now, in my opinion,
+Whate'er is done by law can't be undone.
+'Tis shameful to attempt it.
+
+DEM. Say you, Crito!
+
+CRITO. The case, I think, asks more deliberation.
+'Tis a nice point.
+
+HEGIO. Would you aught else with us?
+
+DEM. You've utter'd oracles. (_Exeunt Lawyers._) I'm more uncertain
+Now than I was before.
+
+_Re-enter GETA._
+
+GETA. He's not return'd.
+
+DEM. My brother, as I hope, will soon arrive:
+Whate'er advice he gives me, that I'll follow.
+I'll to the Port, and ask when they expect him. (_Exit._
+
+GETA. And I'll go find out Antipho, and tell him
+All that has pass'd.--But here he comes in time.
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Enter at a distance ANTIPHO._
+
+ANT. (_to himself_). Indeed, indeed, my Antipho,
+You're much to blame, to be so poor in spirit.
+What! steal away so guilty-like! and trust
+Your life and safety to the care of others!
+Would they be touch'd more nearly than yourself?
+Come what come might of ev'ry thing beside,
+Could you abandon the dear maid at home?
+Could you so far deceive her easy faith,
+And leave her to misfortune and distress?
+Her, who plac'd all her hopes in you alone?
+
+GETA (_coming forward_). I' faith, Sir, we have thought you much
+    to blame
+For your long absence.----
+
+ANT. You're the very man
+That I was looking for.
+
+GETA. --But ne'ertheless
+We've miss'd no opportunity.
+
+ANT. Oh, speak!
+How go my fortunes, Geta? has my father
+Any suspicion that I was in league
+With Phormio?
+
+GETA. Not a jot.
+
+ANT. And may I hope?
+
+GETA. I don't know.
+
+ANT. Ah!
+
+GETA. Unless that Phaedria
+Did all he could do for you.----
+
+ANT. Nothing new.
+
+GETA. --And Phormio has on all occasions else.
+Prov'd himself a brave fellow.
+
+ANT. What did he?
+
+GETA. Out-swagger'd your hot father.
+
+ANT. Well said, Phormio!
+
+GETA. --I did the best I could too.
+
+ANT. Honest Geta,
+I am much bounden to you all.
+
+GETA. Thus, Sir,
+Stand things at present. As yet all is calm.
+Your father means to wait your uncle's coming.
+
+ANT. For what?
+
+GETA. For his advice, as he propos'd;
+By which he will be rul'd in this affair.
+
+ANT. How do I dread my uncle's coming, Geta.
+Since by his sentence I must live or die!
+
+GETA. But here comes Phaedria.
+
+ANT. Where?
+
+GETA. From his old school. (_They retire._)
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _Enter, from Dorio's, DORIO, PHAEDRIA following._
+
+PHAED. Nay, hear me, Dorio!
+
+DORIO. Not I.
+
+PHAED. But a word!
+
+DORIO. Let me alone.
+
+PHAED. Pray hear me!
+
+DORIO. I am tir'd
+With hearing the same thing a thousand times.
+
+PHAED. But what I'd say you would be glad to hear.
+
+DORIO. Speak then! I hear.
+
+PHAED. Can't I prevail on you
+To stay but these three days?-- Nay, where d'ye go?
+
+DORIO. I should have wonder'd had you said aught new.
+
+ANT. (_behind_). This pimp, I fear, will work himself no
+good.
+
+GETA. I fear so too.
+
+PHAED. Won't you believe me?
+
+DORIO. Guess.
+
+PHAED. Upon my honor.
+
+DORIO. Nonsense.
+
+PHAED. 'Tis a kindness
+Shall be repaid with interest.
+
+DORIO. Words, words!
+
+PHAED. You'll be glad on't; you will, believe me.
+
+DORIO. Pshaw!
+
+PHAED. Try; 'tis not long.
+
+DORIO. You're in the same tune still.
+
+PHAED. My kinsman, parent, friend!----
+
+DORIO. Aye, talk away.
+
+PHAED. Can you be so inflexible, so cruel.
+That neither pity nor entreaties touch you?
+
+DORIO. And can you be so inconsiderate,
+And so unconscionable, Phaedria,
+To think that you can talk me to your purpose,
+And wheedle me to give the girl for nothing?
+
+ANT. (_behind_). Poor Phaedria!
+
+PHAED. (_to himself_). Alas! he speaks the truth.
+
+GETA (_to ANTIPHO_). How well they each support their characters!
+
+PHAED. (_to himself_). Then that this evil should have come
+upon me,
+When Antipho was in the like distress!
+
+ANT. (_going up_). Ha! what now, Phaedria?
+
+PHAED. Happy, happy Antipho!----
+
+ANT. I?
+
+PHAED. Who have her you love in your possession,
+Nor e'er had plagues like these to struggle with!
+
+ANT. In my possession? yes, I have, indeed,
+As the old saying goes, a wolf by th' ears:
+For I can neither part with her nor keep her.
+
+DORIO. 'Tis just my case with him.
+
+ANT. (_to DORIO_). Thou thorough bawd!
+--(_To PHAEDRIA._) What has he done?
+
+PHAED. Done?--The inhuman wretch
+Has sold my Pamphila.
+
+GETA. What! sold her?
+
+ANT. Sold her?
+
+PHAED. Yes; sold her.
+
+DORIO (_laughing_). Sold her.--What a monstrous crime!
+A wench he paid his ready money for.
+
+PHAED. I can't prevail upon him to wait for me,
+And to stave off his bargain but three days;
+Till I obtain the money from my friends,
+According to their promise.--If I do not
+Pay it you then, don't wait a moment longer.
+
+DORIO. You stun me.
+
+ANT. 'Tis a very little time
+For which he asks your patience, Dorio.
+Let him prevail on you; your complaisance
+Shall be requited doubly.
+
+DORIO. Words; mere words!
+
+ANT. Can you then bear to see your Pamphila
+Torn from this city, Phaedria?--Can you, Dorio,
+Divide their loves
+
+DORIO. Nor I, nor you.
+
+GETA. Plague on you!
+
+DORIO (_to PHAEDRIA_). I have, against my natural disposition,
+Borne with you several months, still promising,
+Whimpering, and ne'er performing any thing:
+Now, on the contrary, I've found a spark,
+Who'll prove a ready-paymaster, no sniveler:
+Give place then to your betters!
+
+ANT. Surely, Phaedria,
+There was, if I remember, a day settled
+That you should pay the money down.
+
+PHAED. There was.
+
+DORIO. Do I deny it?
+
+ANT. Is the day past?
+
+DORIO. No.
+But this has come before it.
+
+ANT. Infamous!
+Ar'n't you asham'd of such base treachery?
+
+DORIO. Not I, while I can get by't.
+
+GETA. Scavenger!
+
+PHAED. Is this just dealing, Dorio?
+
+DORIO. 'Tis my way:
+So, if you like me, use me.
+
+ANT. Can you deceive him thus?
+
+DORIO. Nay, Antipho,
+'Tis he deceives me: he was well aware
+What kind of man I was, but I believ'd
+Him diff'rent. He has disappointed me,
+But I am still the same to him as ever.
+However, thus much I can do for him;
+The Captain promis'd to pay down the money
+To-morrow morning. But now, Phaedria,
+If you come first, I'll follow my old rule,
+"The first to pay shall be first serv'd." Farewell. (_Exit._
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _PHAEDRIA, ANTIPHO, GETA._
+
+PHAED. What shall I do? Unhappy that I am,
+How shall I, who am almost worse than nothing,
+Raise such a sum so suddenly?--Alas!
+Had I prevail'd on him to wait three days,
+I had a promise of it.
+
+ANT. Shall we, Geta,
+Suffer my Phaedria to be miserable?
+My best friend Phaedria, who but now, you said,
+Assisted me so heartily?--No--Rather
+Let us, since there is need, return his kindness!
+
+GETA. It is but just, I must confess.
+
+ANT. Come then;
+'Tis you alone can save him.
+
+GETA. By what means?
+
+ANT. Procure the money.
+
+GETA. Willingly: but whence?
+
+ANT. My father is arriv'd.
+
+GETA. He is: what then?
+
+ANT. A word to the wise, Geta!
+
+GETA. Say you so?
+
+ANT. Ev'n so.
+
+GETA. By Hercules, 'tis rare advice.
+Are you there with me? will it not be triumph,
+So I but 'scape a scouring for your match,
+That you must urge me to run risks for him?
+
+ANT. He speaks the truth, I must confess.
+
+PHAED. How's that?
+Am I a stranger to you, Geta?
+
+GETA. No:
+Nor do I hold you such. But is it nothing
+That the old man now rages at us all,
+Unless we irritate him so much further
+As to preclude all hopes to pacify him?
+
+PHAED. Shall then another bear her hence? Ah me!
+Now then, while I remain, speak to me, Antipho.
+Behold me!
+
+ANT. Wherefore? what is it you mean?
+
+PHAED. Wherever she's convey'd, I'll follow her;
+Or perish.
+
+GETA. Heaven prosper your designs!--
+Gently, Sir, gently!
+
+ANT. See if you can help him.
+
+GETA. Help him! but how?
+
+ANT. Nay, think, invent, devise;
+Lest he do something we repent of, Geta!
+
+GETA. I'm thinking. (_Pausing._)--Well then I believe, he's safe.
+But I'm afraid of mischief.
+
+ANT. Never fear:
+We'll bear all good and evil fortune with you.
+
+GETA. Tell me the sum you have occasion for.
+
+PHAED. But thirty minae.
+
+GETA. Thirty! monstrous, Phaedria!
+She's very dear.
+
+PHAED. Dog-cheap.
+
+GETA. Well, say no more.
+I'll get them for you.
+
+PHAED. O brave fellow!
+
+GETA. Hence!
+
+PHAED. But I shall want it now.
+
+GETA. You'll have it now.
+But Phormio must assist me in this business.
+
+ANT. He's ready: lay what load you will upon him,
+He'll bear it all; for he's a friend indeed.
+
+GETA. Let's to him quickly then!
+
+ANT. D'ye want my help?
+
+GETA. We've no occasion for you. Get you home
+To the poor girl, who's almost dead with fear;
+And see you comfort her.--Away! d'ye loiter?
+
+ANT. There's nothing I would do so willingly. (_Exit._
+
+PHAED. But how will you effect this?
+
+GETA. I'll explain
+That matter as we go along.--Away! (_Exeunt._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    That the old man now rages at us all
+  _Colman 1768_
+    That Demipho now rages at us all]
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE THIRD.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _Enter DEMIPHO and CHREMES._
+
+DEM. Well, Chremes, have you brought your daughter with you,
+On whose account you went to Lemnos?
+
+CHREM. No.
+
+DEM. Why not?
+
+CHREM. It seems the mother, grown impatient,
+Perceiving that I tarried here so long,
+And that the girl's age brook'd not my delays,
+Had journeyed here, they said, in search of me,
+With her whole family.
+
+DEM. Appris'd of this,
+What kept you there so long then?
+
+CHREM. A disease.
+
+DEM. How came it? what disease?
+
+CHREM. Is that a question?
+Old age itself is a disease.--However,
+The master of the ship, who brought them over,
+Inform'd me of their safe arrival hither.
+
+DEM. Have you heard, Chremes, of my son's misfortune
+During my absence?
+
+CHREM. Aye; and it confounds me.
+For to another should I tender her,
+I must relate the girl's whole history,
+And whence arises my connection with her.
+You I can trust as safely as myself:
+But if a stranger courts alliance with me,
+While we're new friends, he'll hold his peace perhaps,
+But if he cools, he'll know too much of me.
+Then I'm afraid my wife should know of this;
+Which if she does, I've nothing else to do
+But shake myself, and leave my house directly:
+For I've no friend at home except myself.
+
+DEM. I know it; and 'tis that which touches me.
+Nor are there any means I'll leave untried,
+Till I have made my promise to you good.
+
+      [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    CHREM. It seems the mother, grown impatient
+  _Colman 1768_
+    CHREM. Her mother grown, it seems, impatient
+
+    Inform'd me of their safe arrival hither.
+  _Harper edition reads "safe arrival higher"_]
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _Enter, at another part of the stage, GETA._
+
+GETA (_to himself_). I never saw a more shrewd rogue than Phormio.
+I came to let him know we wanted money,
+With my advice for getting it; and scarce
+Had I related half, but he conceiv'd me.
+He was o'erjoy'd; commended me; demanded
+To meet with Demipho; and thank'd the god;
+That it was now the time to show himself
+As truly Phaedria's friend as Antipho's.
+I bade him wait us at the Forum; whither
+I'd bring th' old gentleman.--And there he is!
+--But who's the furthermost? Ha! Phaedria's father.
+--Yet what was I afraid of, simpleton?
+That I have got two dupes instead of one?
+Is it not better that my hopes are doubled?
+--I'll attack him, I first propos'd. If he
+Answers my expectation, well: if not,
+Why then have at you, uncle!
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    With my advice for getting it; and scarce
+  _Colman 1768_
+    With my device for getting it; and scarce]
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Enter behind, ANTIPHO._
+
+ANT. (_to himself_). I expect
+Geta's arrival presently.--But see!
+Yonder's my uncle with my father.--Ah!
+How do I dread his influence!
+
+GETA. I'll to them.
+Oh, good Sir Chremes! (_Going up._)
+
+CHREM. Save you, save you, Geta!
+
+GETA. I'm glad to see you safe arriv'd.
+
+CHREM. I thank you.
+
+GETA. How go affairs?
+
+CHREM. A world of changes here,
+As usual at first coming home again.
+
+GETA. True. Have you heard of Antipho's affair?
+
+CHREM. The whole.
+
+GETA (_to DEMIPHO_). Did you inform him, Sir?--'Tis monstrous, Chremes,
+To he so shamefully impos'd upon!
+
+DEM. 'Twas on that point I was just talking with him.
+
+GETA. And I too, having turn'd it in my thoughts,
+Have found, I think, a remedy.
+
+DEM. How, Geta?
+What remedy?
+
+GETA. On leaving you, by chance
+I met with Phormio.
+
+CHREM. Who is Phormio?
+
+GETA. The girl's solicitor.
+
+CHREM. I understand.
+
+GETA. I thought within myself, "suppose I found him!"
+And taking him aside, "Now prithee, Phormio,
+Why don't you try to settle this affair
+By fair means rather than by foul?" said I.
+"My master is a generous gentleman,
+And hates to go to law. For I assure you
+His other friends advis'd him, to a man,
+To turn this girl directly out o' doors."
+
+ANT. (_behind_). What does he mean? or where will all this end?
+
+GETA. "The law, you think, will give you damages
+If he attempts to turn her out.--Alas!
+He has good counsel upon that.--I' faith,
+You'll have hot work if you engage with him;
+He's such an orator!--But ev'n suppose
+That you should gain your lawsuit, after all
+The trial is not for his life, but money."
+Perceiving him a little wrought upon,
+And soften'd by this style of talking with him,
+"Come now," continued I, "we're all alone.
+Tell me, what money would you take in hand
+To drop your lawsuit, take away the girl,
+And trouble us no farther!"
+
+ANT. (_behind_). Is he mad?
+
+GETA. --"For I am well convinc'd, that if your terms
+Are not extravagant and wild indeed,
+My master's such a worthy gentleman,
+You will not change three words between you."
+
+DEM. Who
+Commission'd you to say all this?
+
+CHREM. Nay, nay,
+Nothing could be more happy to effect
+The point we labor at.
+
+ANT. (_behind_). Undone!
+
+CHREM. (_to GETA_). Go on.
+
+GETA. At first he rav'd.
+
+DEM. Why, what did he demand?
+
+GETA. Too much: as much as came into his head.
+
+CHREM. Well, but the sum?
+
+GETA. He talk'd of a great talent.
+
+DEM. Plague on the rascal! what! has he no shame?
+
+GETA. The very thing I said to him.--"Suppose
+He was to portion out an only daughter,
+What could he give her more?--He profits little,
+Having no daughter of his own; since one
+Is found to carry off a fortune from him."
+--But to be brief, and not to dwell upon
+All his impertinences, he at last
+Gave me this final answer.--"From the first,
+I wish'd," said he, "as was indeed most fit,
+To wed the daughter of my friend myself.
+For I was well aware of her misfortune;
+That, being poor, she would be rather given
+In slavery, than wedlock, to the rich.
+But I was forc'd, to tell you the plain truth,
+To take a woman with some little fortune,
+To pay my debts: and still, if Demipho
+Is willing to advance as large a sum
+As I'm to have with one I'm now engag'd to.
+There is no wife I'd rather take than her."
+
+ANT. (_behind_). Whether through malice or stupidity,
+He is rank knave or fool, I can not tell.
+
+DEM. (_to GETA_). What, if he owes his soul?
+
+GETA. "I have a farm,"
+Continued he, "that's mortgag'd for ten minae."
+
+DEM. Well, let him take her then: I'll pay the money.
+
+GETA. "A house for ten more."
+
+DEM. Huy! huy! that's too much.
+
+CHREM. No noise! demand those ten of me.
+
+GETA. "My wife
+Must buy a maid; some little furniture
+Is also requisite; and some expense
+To keep our wedding: all these articles,"
+Continues he, "we'll reckon at ten minae."
+
+DEM. No; let him bring a thousand writs against me.
+I'll give him nothing. What! afford the villain
+An opportunity to laugh at me?
+
+CHREM. Nay, but be pacified! I'll pay the money.
+Only do you prevail upon your son
+To marry her whom we desire.
+
+ANT. (_behind_). Ah me!
+Geta, your treachery has ruin'd me.
+
+CHREM. She's put away on my account: 'tis just
+That I should pay the money.
+
+GETA. "Let me know,"
+Continues he, "as soon as possible,
+Whether they mean to have me marry her;
+That I may part with t'other, and be certain.
+For t'other girl's relations have agreed
+To pay the portion down immediately."
+
+CHREM. He shall be paid this too immediately.
+Let him break off with her, and take this girl!
+
+DEM. Aye, and the plague go with him!
+
+CHREM. Luckily
+It happens I've some money here; the rents
+Of my wife's farms at Lemnos. I'll take that; (_to DEMIPHO_)
+And tell my wife that you had need of it. (_Exeunt._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    DEM. No; let him bring a thousand writs against me.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    DEM. No; let him bring ten thousand writs against me.
+
+  _Colman's note on this passage says in part: "I have ... rendered
+  the _sexcentas_ of Terence by _Ten Thousand_, as being most agreeable
+  to the English idiom, as well as the Greek."_]
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Manent ANTIPHO, GETA._
+
+ANT. (_coming forward_). Geta!
+
+GETA. Ha, Antipho!
+
+ANT. What have you done!
+
+GETA. Trick'd the old bubbles of their money.
+
+ANT. Well,
+Is that sufficient, think ye?
+
+GETA. I can't tell.
+'Twas all my orders.
+
+ANT. Knave, d'ye shuffle with me? (_Kicks him._)
+
+GETA. Plague! what d'ye mean?
+
+ANT. What do I mean, Sirrah!
+You've driven me to absolute perdition.
+All pow'rs of heav'n and hell confound you for't,
+And make you an example to all villains!
+--Here! would you have your business duly manag'd,
+Commit it to this fellow!--What could be
+More tender than to touch upon this sore,
+Or even name my wife? my father's fill'd
+With hopes that she may be dismiss'd.--And then,
+If Phormio gets the money for the portion,
+He, to be sure, must marry her.--And what
+Becomes of me then?
+
+GETA. He'll not marry her.
+
+ANT. Oh, no: but when they redemand the money,
+On my account he'll rather go to jail! (_Ironically._)
+
+GETA. Many a tale is spoiled in telling, Antipho.
+You take out all the good, and leave the bad.
+--Now hear the other side--If he receives
+The money, he must wed the girl: I grant it.
+But then some little time must be allow'd
+For wedding-preparation, invitation,
+And sacrifices.--Meanwhile, Phaedria's friends
+Advance the money they have promis'd him:
+Which Phormio shall make use of for repayment.
+
+ANT. How so? what reason can he give?
+
+GETA. What reason?
+A thousand.--"Since I made this fatal bargain,
+Omens and prodigies have happen'd to me.
+There came a strange black dog into my house!
+A snake fell through the tiling! a hen crow'd!
+The Soothsayer forbade it! The Diviner
+Charg'd me to enter on no new affair
+Before the winter."--All sufficient reasons.
+Thus it shall be.
+
+ANT. Pray Heav'n it may be!
+
+GETA. It shall.
+Depend on me:--But here's your father.--Go;
+Tell Phaedria that the money's safe. (_Exit ANTIPHO._
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _Re-enter DEMIPHO and CHREMES._
+
+DEM. Nay, peace!
+I'll warrant he shall play no tricks upon us:
+I'll not part rashly with it, I assure you;
+But pay it before witnesses, reciting
+To whom 'tis paid, and why 'tis paid.
+
+GETA. How cautious,
+Where there is no occasion! (_Aside._)
+
+CHREM. You had need.
+But haste, dispatch it while the fit's upon him:
+For if the other party should be pressing,
+Perhaps he'll break with us.
+
+GETA. You've hit it, Sir.
+
+DEM. Carry me to him then.
+
+GETA. I wait your pleasure.
+
+CHREM. (_to DEMIPHO_). When this is done, step over to my wife,
+That she may see the girl before she goes;
+And tell her, to prevent her being angry,
+"That we've agreed to marry her to Phormio,
+Her old acquaintance, and a fitter match;
+That we have not been wanting in our duty,
+But giv'n as large a portion as he ask'd."
+
+DEM. Pshaw! what's all this to you?
+
+CHREM. A great deal, brother.
+
+DEM. Is't not sufficient to have done your duty,
+Unless the world approves it?
+
+CHREM. I would choose
+To have the whole thing done by her consent,
+Lest she pretend she was turn'd out o' doors.
+
+DEM. Well, I can say all this to her myself.
+
+CHREM. A woman deals much better with a woman.
+
+DEM. I'll ask your wife to do it then. (_Exeunt DEMIPHO and GETA._
+
+CHREM. I'm thinking
+Where I shall find these women now.
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    Lest she pretend she was turn'd out o' doors.
+  _Colman 1768_
+    Lest she pretend we turn'd her out o' doors.]
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _Enter SOPHRONA at a distance._
+
+SOPH. (_to herself_). Alas!
+What shall I do, unhappy as I am?
+Where find a friend? to whom disclose this story?
+Of whom beseech assistance?--For I fear
+My mistress will sustain some injury
+From following my counsel: the youth's father,
+I hear, is so offended at this marriage.
+
+CHREM. Who's this old woman, coming from my brother's,
+That seems so terrified?
+
+SOPH. (_to herself_). 'Twas poverty
+Compell'd me to this action: though I knew
+This match would hardly hold together long,
+Yet I advis'd her to it, that meanwhile
+She might not want subsistence.
+
+CHREM. Surely, surely,
+Either my mind deceives me, or my eyes fail me,
+Or that's my daughter's nurse.
+
+SOPH. Nor can we find----
+
+CHREM. What shall I do?
+
+SOPH. --Her father out.
+
+CHREM. Were't best
+I should go up to her, or wait a little,
+To gather something more from her discourse?
+
+SOPH. Could he be found, my fears were at an end.
+
+CHREM. 'Tis she. I'll speak with her.
+
+SOPH. (_overhearing_). Whose voice is that?
+
+CHREM. Sophrona!
+
+SOPH. Ha! my name too?
+
+CHREM. Look this way.
+
+SOPH. (_turning_). Good Heav'n have mercy on us! Stilpho!
+
+CHREM. No.
+
+SOPH. Deny your own name?
+
+CHREM. (_in a low voice_). This way, Sophrona!----
+--A little further from that door!--this way!----
+And never call me by that name, I charge you.
+
+SOPH. What, ar'n't you then the man you said you was? (_Aloud._)
+
+CHREM. Hist! hist!
+
+SOPH. What makes you fear those doors so much?
+
+CHREM. I have a fury of a wife within:
+And formerly I went by that false name,
+Lest she should indiscreetly blab it out,
+And so my wife might come to hear of this.
+
+SOPH. Ah! thus it was, that we, alas! poor souls,
+Could never find you out here.
+
+CHREM. Well, but tell me,
+What business have you with that family? (_Pointing._)
+--Where is your mistress and her daughter?
+
+SOPH. Ah!
+
+CHREM. What now? are they alive?
+
+SOPH. The daughter is:
+The mother broke her heart with grief.
+
+CHREM. Alas!
+
+SOPH. And I a poor, unknown, distress'd old woman,
+Endeavoring to manage for the best,
+Contriv'd to match the virgin to a youth,
+Son to the master of this house.
+
+CHREM. To Antipho?
+
+SOPH. The very same.
+
+CHREM. What! has he two wives then?
+
+SOPH. No, mercy on us! he has none but her.
+
+CHREM. What is the other then, who, they pretend,
+Is a relation to him?
+
+SOPH. This is she.
+
+CHREM. How say you?
+
+SOPH. It was all a mere contrivance:
+That he, who was in love, might marry her
+Without a portion.
+
+CHREM. O ye powers of heav'n,
+How often fortune blindly brings about
+More than we dare to hope for! Coming home,
+I've found my daughter, even to my wish,
+Match'd to the very person I desir'd.
+What we have both been laboring to effect,
+Has this poor woman all alone accomplish'd.
+
+SOPH. But now consider what is to be done!
+The bridegroom's father is return'd; and he,
+They say, is much offended at this marriage.
+
+CHREM. Be of good comfort: there's no danger there.
+But, in the name of heav'n and earth, I charge you,
+Let nobody discover she's my daughter.
+
+SOPH. None shall discover it from me.
+
+CHREM. Come then!
+Follow me in, and you shall hear the rest. (_Exeunt._
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FOURTH.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _DEMIPHO, GETA._
+
+DEM. 'Tis our own fault that we encourage rogues,
+By overstraining the due character
+Of honesty and generosity.
+"Shoot not beyond the mark," the proverb goes.
+Was't not enough that he had done us wrong,
+But we must also throw him money too,
+To live till he devises some new mischief?
+
+GETA. Very right!
+
+DEM. Knavery's now its own reward.
+
+GETA. Very true!
+
+DEM. How like fools have we behav'd!
+
+GETA. So as he keeps his word, and takes the girl,
+'Tis well enough.
+
+DEM. Is that a doubt at present?
+
+GETA. A man, you know, may change his mind.
+
+DEM. How! change?
+
+GETA. That I can't tell: but, if perhaps, I say.
+
+DEM. I'll now perform my promise to my brother,
+And bring his wife to talk to the young woman.
+You, Geta, go before, and let her know
+Nausistrata will come and speak with her. (_Exit DEMIPHO._
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _GETA alone._
+
+The money's got for Phaedria: all is hush'd:
+And Phanium is not to depart as yet.
+What more then? where will all this end at last?
+--Alas! you're sticking in the same mire still:
+You've only chang'd hands, Geta. The disaster
+That hung but now directly over you,
+Delay perhaps will bring more heavy on you.
+You're quite beset, unless you look about.
+--Now then I'll home; to lesson Phanium,
+That she mayn't stand in fear of Phormio,
+Nor dread this conf'rence with Nausistrata. (_Exit._
+
+
+SCENE III.
+
+  _Enter DEMIPHO and NAUSISTRATA._
+
+DEM. Come then, Nausistrata, afford us now
+A little of your usual art, and try
+To put this woman in good humor with us;
+That what is done she may do willingly.
+
+NAUS. I will.
+
+DEM. And now assist us with your counsel,
+As with your cash a little while ago.
+
+NAUS. With all my heart: and I am only sorry
+That 'tis my husband's fault I can't do more.
+
+DEM. How so?
+
+NAUS. Because he takes such little care
+Of the estate my father nurs'd so well:
+For from these very farms he never fail'd
+To draw two talents by the year. But ah!
+What difference between man and man!
+
+DEM. Two talents?
+
+NAUS. Aye--in worse times than these--and yet two talents?
+
+DEM. Huy!
+
+NAUS. What, are you surpris'd?
+
+DEM. Prodigiously.
+
+NAUS. Would I had been a man! I'd show----
+
+DEM. No doubt.
+
+NAUS. --By what means----
+
+DEM. Nay, but spare yourself a little
+For the encounter with the girl: lest she,
+Flippant and young, may weary you too much.
+
+NAUS. --Well, I'll obey your orders: but I see
+My husband coming forth.
+
+
+SCENE IV.
+
+  _Enter CHREMES, hastily._
+
+CHREM. Ha!
+Has Phormio had the money yet?
+
+DEM. I paid him
+Immediately.
+
+CHREM. I'm sorry for't.-- (_Seeing NAUSISTRATA._)--My wife!
+I'd almost said too much. (_Aside._)
+
+DEM. Why sorry, Chremes?
+
+CHREM. Nothing.--No matter.
+
+DEM. Well, but hark ye, Chremes!
+Have you been talking with the girl, and told her
+Wherefore we bring your wife?
+
+CHREM. I've settled it.
+
+DEM. Well, and what says she?
+
+CHREM. 'Tis impossible
+To send her hence.
+
+DEM. And why impossible?
+
+CHREM. Because they are both so fond of one another.
+
+DEM. What's that to us?
+
+CHREM. A great deal. And besides,
+I have discover'd she's related to us.
+
+DEM. Have you your wits?
+
+CHREM. 'Tis so. I'm very serious.
+--Nay, recollect a little!
+
+DEM. Are you mad?
+
+NAUS. Good now, beware of wronging a relation!
+
+DEM. She's no relation to us.
+
+CHREM. Don't deny it.
+Her father had assum'd another name,
+And that deceiv'd you.
+
+DEM. What! not know her father?
+
+CHREM. Perfectly.
+
+DEM. Why did she misname him then?
+
+CHREM. Won't you be rul'd, nor understand me then?
+
+DEM. What can I understand from nothing?
+
+CHREM. Still? (_Impatiently._)
+
+NAUS. I can't imagine what this means.
+
+DEM. Nor I.
+
+CHREM. Would you know all?--Why then, so help me Heaven,
+She has no nearer kindred in the world
+Than you and I.
+
+DEM. Oh, all ye powers of heaven!
+--Let us go to her then immediately:
+I would fain know, or not know, all at once. (_Going._)
+
+CHREM. Ah! (_Stopping him._)
+
+DEM. What's the matter?
+
+CHREM. Can't you trust me then?
+
+DEM. Must I believe it? take it upon trust?
+--Well, be it so!--But what is to be done
+With our friend's daughter?
+
+CHREM. Nothing.
+
+DEM. Drop her?
+
+CHREM. Aye.
+
+DEM. And keep this?
+
+CHREM. Aye.
+
+DEM. Why then, Nausistrata,
+You may return. We need not trouble you.
+
+NAUS. Indeed, I think, 'tis better on all sides,
+That you should keep her here, than send her hence.
+For she appear'd to me, when first I saw her,
+Much of a gentlewoman. (_Exit NAUSISTRATA._
+
+  [Changes:
+
+  _Harper_
+    CHREM. Ha!
+  _Colman 1768_
+    CHREM. Ha! Demipho!]
+
+
+SCENE V.
+
+  _Manent DEMIPHO and CHREMES._
+
+DEM. What means this?
+
+CHREM. (_looking after NAUSISTRATA_). Is the door shut?
+
+DEM. It is.
+
+CHREM. O Jupiter!
+The Gods take care of us. I've found my daughter
+Married to your son.
+
+DEM. Ha! how could it be?
+
+CHREM. It is not safe to tell you here.
+
+DEM. Step in then.
+
+CHREM. But hark ye, Demipho!--I would not have
+Even our very sons inform'd of this. (_Exeunt._
+
+
+SCENE VI.
+
+  _ANTIPHO alone._
+
+I'm glad, however my affairs proceed,
+That Phaedria's have succeeded to his mind.
+How wise to foster such desires alone,
+As, although cross'd, are easily supplied!
+Money, once found, sets Phaedria at his ease;
+But my distress admits no remedy.
+For, if the secret's kept, I live in fear;
+And if reveal'd, I am expos'd to shame.
+Nor would I now return, but in the hope
+Of still possessing her.--But where is Geta?
+That I may learn of him the fittest time
+To meet my father.
+
+
+SCENE VII.
+
+  _Enter, at a distance, PHORMIO._
+
+PHOR. (_to himself_). I've receiv'd the money;
+Paid the procurer; carried off the wench;
+Who's free, and now in Phaedria's possession.
+One thing alone remains to be dispatch'd;
+To get a respite from th' old gentlemen
+To tipple some few days, which I must spend
+In mirth and jollity.
+
+ANT. But yonder's Phormio.-- (_Goes up._)
+What now?
+
+PHOR. Of what?
+
+ANT. What's Phaedria about?
+How does he mean to take his fill of love?
+
+PHOR. By acting your part in his turn.
+
+ANT. What part?
+
+PHOR. Flying his father's presence.--And he begs
+That you'd act his, and make excuses for him;
+For he intends a drinking-bout with me.
+I shall pretend to the old gentlemen
+That I am going to the fair at Sunium,
+To buy the servant-maid that Geta mention'd:
+Lest, finding I am absent, they suspect
+That I am squandering the sum they paid me.
+--But your door opens.
+
+ANT. Who comes here?
+
+PHOR. 'Tis Geta.
+
+
+SCENE VIII.
+
+  _Enter hastily, at another part of the stage, GETA._
+
+GETA. O fortune, O best fortune, what high blessings,
+What sudden, great, and unexpected joys
+Hast thou shower'd down on Antipho to-day!----
+
+ANT. What can this be he's so rejoic'd about?
+
+GETA. --And from what fears deliver'd us, his friends?
+--But wherefore do I loiter thus? and why
+Do I not throw my cloak upon my shoulder,
+And haste to find him out, that he may know
+All that has happen'd?
+
+ANT. (_to PHORMIO_). Do you comprehend
+What he is talking of?
+
+PHOR. Do you?
+
+ANT. Not I.
+
+PHOR. I'm just as wise as you.
+
+GETA. I'll hurry hence
+To the procurer's.--I shall find them there. (_Going._)
+
+ANT. Ho, Geta!
+
+GETA. Look ye there!--Is't new or strange,
+To be recall'd when one's in haste? (_Going._)
+
+ANT. Here, Geta!
+
+GETA. Again? bawl on! I'll ne'er stop. (_Going on._)
+
+ANT. Stay, I say!
+
+GETA. Go, and be drubb'd!
+
+ANT. You shall, I promise you,
+Unless you stop, you rascal!
+
+GETA (_stopping_). Hold, hold, Geta!
+Some intimate acquaintance this, be sure,
+Being so free with you.--But is it he
+That I am looking for, or not?--'Tis he.
+
+PHOR. Go up immediately. (_They go up to GETA._)
+
+ANT. (_to GETA_). What means all this?
+
+GETA. O happy man! the happiest man on earth!
+So very happy, that, beyond all doubt,
+You are the God's chief fav'rite, Antipho.
+
+ANT. Would I were! but your reason.
+
+GETA. Is't enough
+To plunge you over head and ears in joy?
+
+ANT. You torture me.
+
+PHOR. No promises! but tell us
+What is your news?
+
+GETA. Oh, Phormio! are you here?
+
+PHOR. I am: but why d'ye trifle?
+
+GETA. Mind me then! (_To PHORMIO._)
+No sooner had we paid you at the Forum,
+But we return'd directly home again.
+--Arriv'd, my master sends me to your wife. (_To ANTIPHO._)
+
+ANT. For what?
+
+GETA. No matter now, good Antipho.
+I was just entering the women's lodging,
+When up runs little Mida; catches me
+Hold by the cloak behind, and pulls me back.
+I turn about, and ask why he detains me.
+He told me, "Nobody must see his mistress:
+For Sophrona," says he, "has just now brought
+Demipho's brother, Chremes, here; and he
+Is talking with the women now within."
+--When I heard this, I stole immediately
+On tip-toe tow'rd the door; came close; stood hush;
+Drew in my breath; applied my ear; and thus,
+Deep in attention, catch'd their whole discourse.
+
+ANT. Excellent, Geta!
+
+GETA. Here I overheard
+The pleasantest adventure! On my life,
+I scarce refrain'd from crying out for joy.
+
+ANT. What?
+
+GETA. What d'ye think? (_Laughing._)
+
+ANT. I can't tell,
+
+GETA. Oh! it was (_laughing._)
+Most wonderful!--most exquisite!--your uncle
+Is found to be the father of your wife.
+
+ANT. How! what?
+
+GETA. He had a sly intrigue, it seems,
+With Phanium's mother formerly at Lemnos. (_Laughing._)
+
+PHOR. Nonsense! as if she did not know her father!
+
+GETA. Nay, there's some reason for it, Phormio,
+You may be sure.--But was it possible
+For me, who stood without, to comprehend
+Each minute circumstance that pass'd within?
+
+ANT. I have heard something of this story too.
+
+GETA. Then, Sir, to settle your belief the more,
+At last out comes your uncle; and soon after
+Returns again, and carries in your father.
+Then they both said, they gave their full consent
+That you should keep your Phanium.--In a word,
+I'm sent to find you out, and bring you to them.
+
+ANT. Away with me then instantly! D'ye linger?
+
+GETA. Not I. Away!
+
+ANT. My Phormio, fare you well!
+
+PHOR. Fare you well, Antipho! (_Exeunt._
+
+
+SCENE IX.
+
+  _PHORMIO alone._
+
+Well done, 'fore Heaven!
+I'm overjoy'd to see so much good fortune
+Fallen thus unexpectedly upon them:
+I've now an admirable opportunity
+To bubble the old gentlemen, and ease
+Phaedria of all his cares about the money;
+So that he need not be oblig'd to friends.
+For this same money, though it will be given,
+Will yet come from them much against the grain;
+But I have found a way to force them to't.
+--Now then I must assume a grander air,
+And put another face upon this business.
+--I'll hence a while into the next by-alley,
+And pop upon them as they're coming forth.
+--As for the trip I talk'd of to the fair,
+I sha'n't pretend to take that journey now. (_Exit._
+
+
+
+
+ACT THE FIFTH.
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+  _Enter DEMIPHO and CHREMES--and soon after, on t'other side, PHORMIO._
+
+DEM. Well may we thank the gracious Gods, good brother,
+That all things have succeeded to our wish.
+--But now let's find out Phormio with all speed,
+Before he throws away our thirty minae.
+
+PHOR. (_pretending not to see him_).
+I'll go and see if Demipho's at home,
+That I may----
+
+DEM. (_meeting him_).--We were coming to you, Phormio.
+
+PHOR. On the old score, I warrant.
+
+DEM. Aye.
+
+PHOR. I thought so.
+--Why should you go to me?--ridiculous!
+Was you afraid I'd break my contract with you?
+No, no! how great soe'er my poverty,
+I've always shown myself a man of honor.
+
+  {_CHREMES and DEMIPHO apart._}
+
+CHREM. Has not she, as I said, a liberal air?
+
+DEM. She has.
+
+PHOR. --And therefore I was coming, Demipho,
+To let you know I'm ready to receive
+My wife whene'er you please. For I postpon'd
+All other business, as indeed I ought,
+Soon as I found ye were so bent on this.
+
+DEM. Aye, but my brother has dissuaded me
+From going any further in this business.
+"For how will people talk of it?" says he:
+"At first you might have done it handsomely;
+But then you'd not consent to it; and now,
+After cohabitation with your son,
+To think of a divorce is infamous."
+--In short, he urg'd almost the very things
+That you so lately charg'd me with yourself.
+
+PHOR. You trifle with me, gentlemen.
+
+DEM. How so?
+
+PHOR. How so? Because I can not marry t'other,
+With whom I told you I was first in treaty.
+For with what face can I return to her
+Whom I have held in such contempt?
+
+CHREM. Tell him
+Antipho does not care to part with her. (_Prompting DEMIPHO._)
+
+DEM. And my son too don't care to part with her:
+--Step to the Forum then, and give an order
+For the repayment of our money, Phormio.
+
+PHOR. What! when I've paid it to my creditors?
+
+DEM. What's to be done then?
+
+PHOR. Give me but the wife
+To whom you have betroth'd me, and I'll wed her.
+But if you'd rather she should stay with you,
+The portion stays with me, good Demipho,
+For 'tis not just I should be bubbled by you;
+When, to retrieve your honor, I've refus'd
+Another woman with an equal fortune.
+
+DEM. A plague upon your idle vaporing,
+You vagabond!--D'ye fancy we don't know you?
+You, and your fine proceedings?
+
+PHOR. You provoke me.
+
+DEM. Why, would you marry her, if proffer'd?
+
+PHOR. Try me.
+
+DEM. What! that my son may keep her privately
+At your house?--That was your intention.
+
+PHOR. Ha!
+What say you, Sir?
+
+DEM. Give me my money, Sirrah!
+
+PHOR. Give me my wife, I say.
+
+DEM. To justice with him!
+
+PHOR. To justice? Now, by Heaven, gentlemen,
+If you continue to be troublesome----
+
+DEM. What will you do?
+
+PHOR. What will I do? Perhaps
+You think that I can only patronize
+Girls without portion; but be sure of this,
+I've some with portions too.
+
+CHREM. What's that to us?
+
+PHOR. Nothing.--I know a lady here whose husband----
+
+CHREM. Ha! (_Carelessly._)
+
+DEM. What's the matter?
+
+PHOR. --Had another wife
+At Lemnos.
+
+CHREM. (_aside_). I'm a dead man.
+
+PHOR. --By which other
+He had a daughter; whom he now brings up
+In private.
+
+CHREM. (_aside_). Dead and buried.
+
+PHOR. This I'll tell her. (_Going toward the house._)
+
+CHREM. Don't, I beseech you!
+
+PHOR. Oh! are you the man?
+
+DEM. Death! how insulting!
+
+CHREM. (_to PHORMIO_). We discharge you.
+
+PHOR. Nonsense!
+
+CHREM. What would you more? The money you have got
+We will forgive you.
+
+PHOR. Well; I hear you now.
+--But what a plague d'ye mean by fooling thus,
+Acting and talking like mere children with me?
+--I won't; I will: I will; I won't again:----
+Give, take; say, unsay; do, and then undo.
+
+CHREM. (_to DEMIPHO_). Which way could he have learn'd this?
+
+DEM. I don't know;
+But I am sure I never mention'd it.
+
+CHREM. Good now! amazing!
+
+PHOR. I have ruffled them. (_Aside._)
+
+DEM. What! shall he carry off so large a sum,
+And laugh at us so openly?--By Heaven,
+I'd rather die.--Be of good courage, brother!
+Pluck up the spirit of a man! You see
+This slip of yours is got abroad; nor can you
+Keep it a secret from your wife. Now, therefore,
+'Tis more conducive to your peace, good Chremes,
+That we should fairly tell it her ourselves,
+Than she should hear the story from another.
+And then we shall be quite at liberty
+To take our own revenge upon this rascal.
+
+PHOR. Ha!--If I don't take care I'm ruin'd still.
+They're growing desperate, and making tow'rd me
+With a determin'd gladiatorial air.
+
+CHREM. (_to DEMIPHO_). I fear she'll ne'er forgive me.
+
+DEM. Courage, Chremes!
+I'll reconcile her to't; especially
+The mother being dead and gone.
+
+PHOR. Is this
+Your dealing, gentlemen? You come upon me
+Extremely cunningly.--But, Demipho,
+You have but ill consulted for your brother,
+To urge me to extremities.--And you, Sir (_to CHREMES_),
+When you have play'd the whoremaster abroad;
+Having no reverence for your lady here,
+A woman of condition; wronging her
+After the grossest manner; come you now
+To wash away your crimes with mean submission?
+No.--I will kindle such a flame in her,
+As, though you melt in tears, you sha'n't extinguish.
+
+DEM. A plague upon him! was there ever man
+So very impudent?--A knave! he ought
+To be transported at the public charge
+Into some desert.
+
+CHREM. I am so confounded,
+I know not what to do with him.
+
+DEM. I know.
+Bring him before a judge!
+
+PHOR. Before a judge?
+A lady-judge; in here, Sirs, if you please.
+
+DEM. Run you and hold him, while I call her servants.
+
+CHREM. I can not by myself; come up and help me.
+
+PHOR. I have an action of assault against you. (_To DEMIPHO._)
+
+CHREM. Bring it!
+
+PHOR. Another against you too, Chremes!
+
+DEM. Drag him away! (_Both lay hold of him._)
+
+PHOR. (_struggling_). Is that your way with me!
+Then I must raise my voice.--Nausistrata!
+Come hither.
+
+CHREM. Stop his mouth!
+
+DEM. (_struggling_). A sturdy rogue!
+How strong he is!
+
+PHOR. (_struggling_). Nausistrata, I say.
+Nausistrata!
+
+CHREM. (_struggling_). Peace, Sirrah!
+
+PHOR. Peace, indeed!
+
+DEM. Unless he follows, strike him in the stomach!
+
+PHOR. Aye, or put out an eye!--But here comes one
+Will give me full revenge upon you both.
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+  _To them NAUSISTRATA._
+
+NAUS. Who calls for me?
+
+CHREM. Confusion!
+
+NAUS. (_to CHREMES_). Pray, my dear,
+What's this disturbance?
+
+PHOR. Dumb, old Truepenny!
+
+NAUS. Who is this man?--Why don't you answer me? (_To CHREMES._)
+
+PHOR. He answer you! he's hardly in his senses.
+
+CHREM. Never believe him!
+
+PHOR. Do but go and touch him;
+He's in a shivering fit, I'll lay my life.
+
+CHREM. Nay----
+
+NAUS. But what means he then?
+
+PHOR. I'll tell you, madam;
+Do but attend!
+
+CHREM. Will you believe him then?
+
+NAUS. What is there to believe, when he says nothing?
+
+PHOR. Poor man! his fear deprives him of his wits.
+
+NAUS. (_to CHREMES_). I'm sure you're not so much afraid
+for nothing.
+
+CHREM. What! I afraid? (_Endeavoring to take heart._)
+
+PHOR. Oh, not at all!--And since
+You're in no fright, and what I say means nothing,
+Tell it yourself.
+
+DEM. At your desire, you rascal?
+
+PHOR. Oh, you've done rarely for your brother, Sir!
+
+NAUS. What! Won't you tell me, husband?
+
+CHREM. But----
+
+NAUS. But what?
+
+CHREM. There's no occasion for it.
+
+PHOR. Not for you:
+But for the Lady there is much occasion.
+In Lemnos----
+
+CHREM. Ha! what say you?
+
+DEM. (_to PHORMIO_). Hold your peace!
+
+PHOR. Without your knowledge----
+
+CHREM. Oh dear!
+
+PHOR. He has had
+Another wife.
+
+NAUS. My husband? Heav'n forbid!
+
+PHOR. 'Tis even so.
+
+NAUS. Ah me! I am undone.
+
+PHOR. --And had a daughter by her there; while you
+Was left to sleep in ignorance alone.
+
+NAUS. Oh Heavens!--Baseness!--Treachery!
+
+PHOR. 'Tis fact.
+
+NAUS. Was ever any thing more infamous?
+When they're with us, their wives forsooth, they're old.
+--Demipho, I appeal to you: for him
+I can not bear to speak to.--And were these
+His frequent journeys and long stay at Lemnos?
+Was this the cheapness that reduc'd our rents?
+
+DEM. That he has been to blame, Nausistrata,
+I don't deny; but not beyond all pardon.
+
+PHOR. You're talking to the dead.
+
+DEM. It was not done
+Out of aversion or contempt to you.
+In liquor, almost fifteen years ago,
+He met this woman, whence he had this daughter;
+Nor e'er had commerce with her from that hour.
+She's dead: your only grievance is remov'd.
+Wherefore I beg you'd show your wonted goodness,
+And bear it patiently.
+
+NAUS. How! bear it patiently?
+Alas! I wish his vices might end here.
+But have I the least hope? can I suppose
+That years will cure these rank offenses in him?
+Ev'n at that time he was already old,
+If age could make him modest.--Are my years
+And beauty, think ye, like to please him more
+At present, Demipho, than formerly?
+--In short, what ground, what reason to expect
+That he should not commit the same hereafter?
+
+PHOR. (_aloud_). Whoever would attend the funeral
+Of Chremes, now's the time!--See! that's my way.
+Come on then! provoke Phormio now, who dares!
+Like Chremes, he shall fall a victim to me.
+--Let him get into favor when he will!
+I've had revenge sufficient. She has something
+To ring into his ears his whole life long.
+
+NAUS. Have I deserv'd this?--Need I, Demipho,
+Number up each particular, and say
+How good a wife I've been?
+
+DEM. I know it all.
+
+NAUS. Am I then justly treated?
+
+DEM. Not at all.
+But since reproaches can't undo what's done,
+Forgive him! he begs pardon; owns his fault;
+And promises to mend.--What would you more?
+
+PHOR. But hold; before she ratifies his pardon,
+I must secure myself and Phaedria. (_Aside._)
+--Nausistrata, a word!--Before you give
+Your answer rashly, hear me!
+
+NAUS. What's your pleasure?
+
+PHOR. I trick'd your husband there of thirty minae,
+Which I have giv'n your son; and he has paid them
+To a procurer for a mistress.
+
+CHREM. How!
+What say you?
+
+NAUS. Is it such a heinous crime
+For your young son, d'ye think, to have _one_ mistress,
+While _you_ have _two_ wives?--Are you not asham'd?
+Have you the face to chide him? answer me!
+
+DEM. He shall do ev'ry thing you please.
+
+NAUS. Nay, nay,
+To tell you plainly my whole mind at once,
+I'll not forgive, nor promise any thing,
+Nor give an answer, till I see my son.
+
+PHOR. Wisely resolv'd, Nausistrata.
+
+NAUS. Is that
+Sufficient satisfaction for you?
+
+PHOR. Quite.
+I rest contented, well pleas'd, past my hopes.
+
+NAUS. What is your name, pray?
+
+PHOR. My name? Phormio:
+A faithful friend to all your family,
+Especially to Phaedria.
+
+NAUS. Trust me, Phormio,
+I'll do you all the service in my power.
+
+PHOR. I'm much oblig'd to you.
+
+NAUS. You're worthy on't.
+
+PHOR. Will you then even now, Nausistrata,
+Grant me one favor that will pleasure me,
+And grieve your husband's sight?
+
+NAUS. With all my soul.
+
+PHOR. Ask me to supper!
+
+NAUS. I invite you.
+
+DEM. In then!
+
+NAUS. We will. But where is Phaedria, our judge?
+
+PHOR. He shall be with you.-- (_To the AUDIENCE._)
+Farewell; Clap your hands!
+
+
+THE END.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's The Comedies of Terence, by Publius Terentius Afer
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