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| author | pgww <pgww@lists.pglaf.org> | 2025-09-22 11:28:50 -0700 |
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| committer | pgww <pgww@lists.pglaf.org> | 2025-09-22 11:28:50 -0700 |
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diff --git a/2240-0.txt b/2240-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..712f3eb --- /dev/null +++ b/2240-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,3637 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 2240 *** + + +Executive Director's Notes: + +In addition to the notes below, and so you will *NOT* think all +the spelling errors introduced by the printers of the time have +been corrected, here are the first few lines of Hamlet, as they +are presented herein: + + Barnardo. Who's there? + Fran. Nay answer me: Stand & vnfold +your selfe + + Bar. Long liue the King + + * * * * * + +As I understand it, the printers often ran out of certain words +or letters they had often packed into a "cliche". . .this is the +original meaning of the term cliche. . .and thus, being unwilling +to unpack the cliches, and thus you will see some substitutions +that look very odd. . .such as the exchanges of u for v, v for u, +above. . .and you may wonder why they did it this way, presuming +Shakespeare did not actually write the play in this manner. . . . + +The answer is that they MAY have packed "liue" into a cliche at a +time when they were out of "v"'s. . .possibly having used "vv" in +place of some "w"'s, etc. This was a common practice of the day, +as print was still quite expensive, and they didn't want to spend +more on a wider selection of characters than they had to. + +You will find a lot of these kinds of "errors" in this text, as I +have mentioned in other times and places, many "scholars" have an +extreme attachment to these errors, and many have accorded them a +very high place in the "canon" of Shakespeare. My father read an +assortment of these made available to him by Cambridge University +in England for several months in a glass room constructed for the +purpose. To the best of my knowledge he read ALL those available +. . .in great detail. . .and determined from the various changes, +that Shakespeare most likely did not write in nearly as many of a +variety of errors we credit him for, even though he was in/famous +for signing his name with several different spellings. + +So, please take this into account when reading the comments below +made by our volunteer who prepared this file: you may see errors +that are "not" errors. . . . + +So. . .with this caveat. . .we have NOT changed the canon errors, +here is the Project Gutenberg Etext of Shakespeare's play. + +Michael S. Hart +Project Gutenberg +Executive Director + + * * * * * + +Scanner's Notes: + +What this is and isn't. This was taken from a copy of +Shakespeare's first folio and it is as close as I can come in +ASCII to the printed text. + +The elongated S's have been changed to small s's and the +conjoined ae have been changed to ae. I have left the spelling, +punctuation, capitalization as close as possible to the printed +text. I have corrected some spelling mistakes (I have put +together a spelling dictionary devised from the spellings of +the Geneva Bible and Shakespeare's First Folio and have unified +spellings according to this template), typo's and expanded +abbreviations as I have come across them. Everything within +brackets [] is what I have added. So if you don't like that you +can delete everything within the brackets if you want a purer +Shakespeare. + +Another thing that you should be aware of is that there are +textual differences between various copies of the first folio. So +there may be differences (other than what I have mentioned above) +between this and other first folio editions. This is due to the +printer's habit of setting the type and running off a number of +copies and then proofing the printed copy and correcting the type +and then continuing the printing run. The proof run wasn't thrown +away but incorporated into the printed copies. This is just the +way it is. The text I have used was a composite of more than 30 +different First Folio editions' best pages. + +David Reed + +===================================================================== + + + + +Much adoe about Nothing + + +Actus primus, Scena prima. + +Enter Leonato Gouernour of Messina, Innogen his wife, Hero his +daughter, +and Beatrice his Neece, with a messenger. + + Leonato. I learne in this Letter, that Don Peter of Arragon, +comes this night to Messina + + Mess. He is very neere by this: he was not +three Leagues off when I left him + + Leon. How many Gentlemen haue you lost in this +action? + Mess. But few of any sort, and none of name + + Leon. A victorie is twice it selfe, when the atchieuer +brings home full numbers: I finde heere, that Don Peter +hath bestowed much honor on a yong Florentine, called +Claudio + + Mess. Much deseru'd on his part, and equally remembred +by Don Pedro, he hath borne himselfe beyond the +promise of his age, doing in the figure of a Lambe, the +feats of a Lion, he hath indeede better bettred expectation, +then you must expect of me to tell you how + + Leo. He hath an Vnckle heere in Messina, wil be very +much glad of it + + Mess. I haue alreadie deliuered him letters, and there +appeares much ioy in him, euen so much, that ioy could +not shew it selfe modest enough, without a badg of bitternesse + + Leo. Did he breake out into teares? + Mess. In great measure + + Leo. A kinde ouerflow of kindnesse, there are no faces +truer, then those that are so wash'd, how much better +is it to weepe at ioy, then to ioy at weeping? + Bea. I pray you, is Signior Mountanto return'd from +the warres, or no? + Mess. I know none of that name, Lady, there was +none such in the armie of any sort + + Leon. What is he that you aske for Neece? + Hero. My cousin meanes Signior Benedick of Padua + Mess. O he's return'd, and as pleasant as euer he was + + Beat. He set vp his bils here in Messina, & challeng'd +Cupid at the Flight: and my Vnckles foole reading the +Challenge, subscrib'd for Cupid, and challeng'd him at +the Burbolt. I pray you, how many hath hee kil'd and +eaten in these warres? But how many hath he kil'd? for +indeed, I promis'd to eate all of his killing + + Leon. 'Faith Neece, you taxe Signior Benedicke too +much, but hee'l be meete with you, I doubt it not + + Mess. He hath done good seruice Lady in these wars + + Beat. You had musty victuall, and he hath holpe to +ease it: he's a very valiant Trencher-man, hee hath an +excellent stomacke + + Mess. And a good souldier too Lady + + Beat. And a good souldier to a Lady. But what is he +to a Lord? + Mess. A Lord to a Lord, a man to a man, stuft with +all honourable vertues + + Beat. It is so indeed, he is no lesse then a stuft man: +but for the stuffing well, we are all mortall + + Leon. You must not (sir) mistake my Neece, there is +a kind of merry war betwixt Signior Benedick, & her: +they neuer meet, but there's a skirmish of wit between +them + + Bea. Alas, he gets nothing by that. In our last conflict, +foure of his fiue wits went halting off, and now is +the whole man gouern'd with one: so that if hee haue +wit enough to keepe himselfe warme, let him beare it +for a difference betweene himselfe and his horse: For it +is all the wealth that he hath left, to be knowne a reasonable +creature. Who is his companion now? He hath +euery month a new sworne brother + + Mess. Is't possible? + Beat. Very easily possible: he weares his faith but as +the fashion of his hat, it euer changes with y next block + + Mess. I see (Lady) the Gentleman is not in your +bookes + + Bea. No, and he were, I would burne my study. But +I pray you, who is his companion? Is there no young +squarer now, that will make a voyage with him to the +diuell? + Mess. He is most in the company of the right noble +Claudio + + Beat. O Lord, he will hang vpon him like a disease: +he is sooner caught then the pestilence, and the taker +runs presently mad. God helpe the noble Claudio, if hee +haue caught the Benedict, it will cost him a thousand +pound ere he be cur'd + + Mess. I will hold friends with you Lady + + Bea. Do good friend + + Leo. You'l ne're run mad Neece + + Bea. No, not till a hot Ianuary + + Mess. Don Pedro is approach'd. + +Enter don Pedro, Claudio, Benedicke, Balthasar, and Iohn the +bastard. + + Pedro. Good Signior Leonato, you are come to meet +your trouble: the fashion of the world is to auoid cost, +and you encounter it + + Leon. Neuer came trouble to my house in the likenes +of your Grace: for trouble being gone, comfort should +remaine: but when you depart from me, sorrow abides, +and happinesse takes his leaue + + Pedro. You embrace your charge too willingly: I +thinke this is your daughter + + Leonato. Her mother hath many times told me so + + Bened. Were you in doubt that you askt her? + Leonato. Signior Benedicke, no, for then were you a +childe + + Pedro. You haue it full Benedicke, we may ghesse by +this, what you are, being a man, truely the Lady fathers +her selfe: be happie Lady, for you are like an honorable +father + + Ben. If Signior Leonato be her father, she would not +haue his head on her shoulders for al Messina, as like him +as she is + + Beat. I wonder that you will still be talking, signior +Benedicke, no body markes you + + Ben. What my deere Ladie Disdaine! are you yet +liuing? + Beat. Is it possible Disdaine should die, while shee +hath such meete foode to feede it, as Signior Benedicke? +Curtesie it selfe must conuert to Disdaine, if you come in +her presence + + Bene. Then is curtesie a turne-coate, but it is certaine +I am loued of all Ladies, onely you excepted: and +I would I could finde in my heart that I had not a hard +heart, for truely I loue none + + Beat. A deere happinesse to women, they would else +haue beene troubled with a pernitious Suter, I thanke +God and my cold blood, I am of your humour for that, I +had rather heare my Dog barke at a Crow, than a man +sweare he loues me + + Bene. God keepe your Ladiship still in that minde, +so some Gentleman or other shall scape a predestinate +scratcht face + + Beat. Scratching could not make it worse, and 'twere +such a face as yours were + + Bene. Well, you are a rare Parrat teacher + + Beat. A bird of my tongue, is better than a beast of +your + + Ben. I would my horse had the speed of your tongue, +and so good a continuer, but keepe your way a Gods +name, I haue done + + Beat. You alwaies end with a Iades tricke, I know +you of old + + Pedro. This is the summe of all: Leonato, signior Claudio, +and signior Benedicke; my deere friend Leonato, hath +inuited you all, I tell him we shall stay here, at the least +a moneth, and he heartily praies some occasion may detaine +vs longer: I dare sweare hee is no hypocrite, but +praies from his heart + + Leon. If you sweare, my Lord, you shall not be forsworne, +let mee bid you welcome, my Lord, being reconciled +to the Prince your brother: I owe you all +duetie + + Iohn. I thanke you, I am not of many words, but I +thanke you + + Leon. Please it your grace leade on? + Pedro. Your hand Leonato, we will goe together. + +Exeunt. Manet Benedicke and Claudio. + + Clau. Benedicke, didst thou note the daughter of signior +Leonato? + Bene. I noted her not, but I lookt on her + + Claud. Is she not a modest yong Ladie? + Bene. Doe you question me as an honest man should +doe, for my simple true iudgement? or would you haue +me speake after my custome, as being a professed tyrant +to their sexe? + Clau. No, I pray thee speake in sober iudgement + + Bene. Why yfaith me thinks shee's too low for a hie +praise, too browne for a faire praise, and too little for a +great praise, onely this commendation I can affoord her, +that were shee other then she is, she were vnhandsome, +and being no other, but as she is, I doe not like her + + Clau. Thou think'st I am in sport, I pray thee tell me +truely how thou lik'st her + + Bene. Would you buie her, that you enquier after +her? + Clau. Can the world buie such a iewell? + Ben. Yea, and a case to put it into, but speake you this +with a sad brow? Or doe you play the flowting iacke, to +tell vs Cupid is a good Hare-finder, and Vulcan a rare +Carpenter: Come, in what key shall a man take you to +goe in the song? + Clau. In mine eie, she is the sweetest Ladie that euer +I lookt on + + Bene. I can see yet without spectacles, and I see no +such matter: there's her cosin, and she were not possest +with a furie, exceedes her as much in beautie, as the first +of Maie doth the last of December: but I hope you haue +no intent to turne husband, haue you? + Clau. I would scarce trust my selfe, though I had +sworne the contrarie, if Hero would be my wife + + Bene. Ist come to this? in faith hath not the world one +man but he will weare his cap with suspition? shall I neuer +see a batcheller of three score againe? goe to yfaith, +and thou wilt needes thrust thy necke into a yoke, weare +the print of it, and sigh away sundaies: looke, don Pedro +is returned to seeke you. + +Enter don Pedro, Iohn the bastard. + + Pedr. What secret hath held you here, that you followed +not to Leonatoes? + Bened. I would your Grace would constraine mee to +tell + + Pedro. I charge thee on thy allegeance + + Ben. You heare, Count Claudio, I can be secret as a +dumbe man, I would haue you thinke so (but on my allegiance, +marke you this, on my allegiance) hee is in +loue, With who? now that is your Graces part: marke +how short his answere is, with Hero, Leonatoes short +daughter + + Clau. If this were so, so were it vttred + + Bened. Like the old tale, my Lord, it is not so, nor 'twas +not so: but indeede, God forbid it should be so + + Clau. If my passion change not shortly, God forbid it +should be otherwise + + Pedro. Amen, if you loue her, for the Ladie is verie +well worthie + + Clau. You speake this to fetch me in, my Lord + + Pedr. By my troth I speake my thought + + Clau. And in faith, my Lord, I spoke mine + + Bened. And by my two faiths and troths, my Lord, I +speake mine + + Clau. That I loue her, I feele + + Pedr. That she is worthie, I know + + Bened. That I neither feele how shee should be loued, +nor know how shee should be worthie, is the +opinion that fire cannot melt out of me, I will die in it at +the stake + + Pedr. Thou wast euer an obstinate heretique in the despight +of Beautie + + Clau. And neuer could maintaine his part, but in the +force of his will + Ben. That a woman conceiued me, I thanke her: that +she brought mee vp, I likewise giue her most humble +thankes: but that I will haue a rechate winded in my +forehead, or hang my bugle in an inuisible baldricke, all +women shall pardon me: because I will not do them the +wrong to mistrust any, I will doe my selfe the right to +trust none: and the fine is, (for the which I may goe the +finer) I will liue a Batchellor + + Pedro. I shall see thee ere I die, looke pale with loue + + Bene. With anger, with sicknesse, or with hunger, +my Lord, not with loue: proue that euer I loose more +blood with loue, then I will get againe with drinking, +picke out mine eyes with a Ballet-makers penne, and +hang me vp at the doore of a brothel-house for the signe +of blinde Cupid + + Pedro. Well, if euer thou doost fall from this faith, +thou wilt proue a notable argument + + Bene. If I do, hang me in a bottle like a Cat, & shoot +at me, and he that hit's me, let him be clapt on the shoulder, +and cal'd Adam + + Pedro. Well, as time shall trie: In time the sauage +Bull doth beare the yoake + + Bene. The sauage bull may, but if euer the sensible +Benedicke beare it, plucke off the bulles hornes, and set +them in my forehead, and let me be vildely painted, and +in such great Letters as they write, heere is good horse +to hire: let them signifie vnder my signe, here you may +see Benedicke the married man + + Clau. If this should euer happen, thou wouldst bee +horne mad + + Pedro. Nay, if Cupid haue not spent all his Quiuer in +Venice, thou wilt quake for this shortly + + Bene. I looke for an earthquake too then + + Pedro. Well, you will temporize with the houres, in +the meane time, good Signior Benedicke, repaire to Leonatoes, +commend me to him, and tell him I will not faile +him at supper, for indeede he hath made great preparation + + Bene. I haue almost matter enough in me for such an +Embassage, and so I commit you + + Clau. To the tuition of God. From my house, if I +had it + + Pedro. The sixt of Iuly. Your louing friend, Benedick + + Bene. Nay mocke not, mocke not; the body of your +discourse is sometime guarded with fragments, and the +guardes are but slightly basted on neither, ere you flout +old ends any further, examine your conscience, and so I +leaue you. + +Enter. + + Clau. My Liege, your Highnesse now may doe mee +good + + Pedro. My loue is thine to teach, teach it but how, +And thou shalt see how apt it is to learne +Any hard Lesson that may do thee good + + Clau. Hath Leonato any sonne my Lord? + Pedro. No childe but Hero, she's his onely heire. +Dost thou affect her Claudio? + Clau. O my Lord, +When you went onward on this ended action, +I look'd vpon her with a souldiers eie, +That lik'd, but had a rougher taske in hand, +Than to driue liking to the name of loue: +But now I am return'd, and that warre-thoughts +Haue left their places vacant: in their roomes, +Come thronging soft and delicate desires, +All prompting mee how faire yong Hero is, +Saying I lik'd her ere I went to warres + + Pedro. Thou wilt be like a louer presently, +And tire the hearer with a booke of words: +If thou dost loue faire Hero, cherish it, +And I will breake with her: wast not to this end, +That thou beganst to twist so fine a story? + Clau. How sweetly doe you minister to loue, +That know loues griefe by his complexion! +But lest my liking might too sodaine seeme, +I would haue salu'd it with a longer treatise + + Ped. What need y bridge much broder then the flood? +The fairest graunt is the necessitie: +Looke what will serue, is fit: 'tis once, thou louest, +And I will fit thee with the remedie, +I know we shall haue reuelling to night, +I will assume thy part in some disguise, +And tell faire Hero I am Claudio, +And in her bosome Ile vnclaspe my heart, +And take her hearing prisoner with the force +And strong incounter of my amorous tale: +Then after, to her father will I breake, +And the conclusion is, shee shall be thine, +In practise let vs put it presently. + +Exeunt. + +Enter Leonato and an old man, brother to Leonato. + + Leo. How now brother, where is my cosen your son: +hath he prouided this musicke? + Old. He is very busie about it, but brother, I can tell +you newes that you yet dreamt not of + + Lo. Are they good? + Old. As the euents stamps them, but they haue a good +couer: they shew well outward, the Prince and Count +Claudio walking in a thick pleached alley in my orchard, +were thus ouer-heard by a man of mine: the Prince discouered +to Claudio that hee loued my niece your daughter, +and meant to acknowledge it this night in a dance, +and if hee found her accordant, hee meant to take the +present time by the top, and instantly breake with you +of it + + Leo. Hath the fellow any wit that told you this? + Old. A good sharpe fellow, I will send for him, and +question him your selfe + + Leo. No, no; wee will hold it as a dreame, till it appeare +it selfe: but I will acquaint my daughter withall, +that she may be the better prepared for an answer, if peraduenture +this bee true: goe you and tell her of it: coosins, +you know what you haue to doe, O I crie you mercie +friend, goe you with mee and I will vse your skill, +good cosin haue a care this busie time. + +Exeunt. + +Enter Sir Iohn the Bastard, and Conrade his companion. + + Con. What the good yeere my Lord, why are you +thus out of measure sad? + Ioh. There is no measure in the occasion that breeds, +therefore the sadnesse is without limit + + Con. You should heare reason + + Iohn. And when I haue heard it, what blessing bringeth +it? + Con. If not a present remedy, yet a patient sufferance + + Ioh. I wonder that thou (being as thou saist thou art, +borne vnder Saturne) goest about to apply a morall medicine, +to a mortifying mischiefe: I cannot hide what I +am: I must bee sad when I haue cause, and smile at no +mans iests, eat when I haue stomacke, and wait for no +mans leisure: sleepe when I am drowsie, and tend on no +mans businesse, laugh when I am merry, and claw no man +in his humor + + Con. Yea, but you must not make the ful show of this, +till you may doe it without controllment, you haue of +late stood out against your brother, and hee hath tane +you newly into his grace, where it is impossible you +should take root, but by the faire weather that you make +your selfe, it is needful that you frame the season for your +owne haruest + + Iohn. I had rather be a canker in a hedge, then a rose +in his grace, and it better fits my bloud to be disdain'd of +all, then to fashion a carriage to rob loue from any: in this +(though I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man) +it must not be denied but I am a plaine dealing villaine, I +am trusted with a mussell, and enfranchisde with a clog, +therefore I haue decreed, not to sing in my cage: if I had +my mouth, I would bite: if I had my liberty, I would do +my liking: in the meane time, let me be that I am, and +seeke not to alter me + + Con. Can you make no vse of your discontent? + Iohn. I will make all vse of it, for I vse it onely. +Who comes here? what newes Borachio? + +Enter Borachio. + + Bor. I came yonder from a great supper, the Prince +your brother is royally entertained by Leonato, and I can +giue you intelligence of an intended marriage + + Iohn. Will it serue for any Modell to build mischiefe +on? What is hee for a foole that betrothes himselfe to +vnquietnesse? + Bor. Mary it is your brothers right hand + + Iohn. Who, the most exquisite Claudio? + Bor. Euen he + + Iohn. A proper squier, and who, and who, which way +lookes he? + Bor. Mary on Hero, the daughter and Heire of Leonato + + Iohn. A very forward March-chicke, how came you +to this: + Bor. Being entertain'd for a perfumer, as I was smoaking +a musty roome, comes me the Prince and Claudio, +hand in hand in sad conference: I whipt behind the Arras, +and there heard it agreed vpon, that the Prince should +wooe Hero for himselfe, and hauing obtain'd her, giue +her to Count Claudio + + Iohn. Come, come, let vs thither, this may proue food +to my displeasure, that young start-vp hath all the glorie +of my ouerthrow: if I can crosse him any way, I blesse +my selfe euery way, you are both sure, and will assist +mee? + Conr. To the death my Lord + + Iohn. Let vs to the great supper, their cheere is the +greater that I am subdued, would the Cooke were of my +minde: shall we goe proue whats to be done? + Bor. Wee'll wait vpon your Lordship. + +Exeunt. + + +Actus Secundus. + +Enter Leonato, his brother, his wife, Hero his daughter, and +Beatrice his +neece, and a kinsman. + + Leonato. Was not Count Iohn here at supper? + Brother. I saw him not + + Beatrice. How tartly that Gentleman lookes, I neuer +can see him, but I am heart-burn'd an howre after + + Hero. He is of a very melancholy disposition + + Beatrice. Hee were an excellent man that were made +iust in the mid-way betweene him and Benedicke, the one +is too like an image and saies nothing, and the other too +like my Ladies eldest sonne, euermore tatling + + Leon. Then halfe signior Benedicks tongue in Count +Iohns mouth, and halfe Count Iohns melancholy in Signior +Benedicks face + + Beat. With a good legge, and a good foot vnckle, and +money enough in his purse, such a man would winne any +woman in the world, if he could get her good will + + Leon. By my troth Neece, thou wilt neuer get thee a +husband, if thou be so shrewd of thy tongue + + Brother. Infaith shee's too curst + + Beat. Too curst is more then curst, I shall lessen Gods +sending that way: for it is said, God sends a curst Cow +short hornes, but to a Cow too curst he sends none + + Leon. So, by being too curst, God will send you no +hornes + + Beat. Iust, if he send me no husband, for the which +blessing, I am at him vpon my knees euery morning and +euening: Lord, I could not endure a husband with a +beard on his face, I had rather lie in the woollen + + Leonato. You may light vpon a husband that hath no +beard + + Beatrice. What should I doe with him? dresse him in +my apparell, and make him my waiting gentlewoman? he +that hath a beard, is more then a youth: and he that hath +no beard, is lesse then a man: and hee that is more then a +youth, is not for mee: and he that is lesse then a man, I am +not for him: therefore I will euen take sixepence in earnest +of the Berrord, and leade his Apes into hell + + Leon. Well then, goe you into hell + + Beat. No, but to the gate, and there will the Deuill +meete mee like an old Cuckold with hornes on his head, +and say, get you to heauen Beatrice, get you to heauen, +heere's no place for you maids, so deliuer I vp my Apes, +and away to S[aint]. Peter: for the heauens, hee shewes mee +where the Batchellers sit, and there liue wee as merry as +the day is long + + Brother. Well neece, I trust you will be rul'd by your +father + + Beatrice. Yes faith, it is my cosens dutie to make curtsie, +and say, as it please you: but yet for all that cosin, let +him be a handsome fellow, or else make an other cursie, +and say, father, as it please me + + Leonato. Well neece, I hope to see you one day fitted +with a husband + + Beatrice. Not till God make men of some other mettall +then earth, would it not grieue a woman to be ouermastred +with a peece of valiant dust: to make account of +her life to a clod of waiward marle? no vnckle, ile none: +Adams sonnes are my brethren, and truly I hold it a sinne +to match in my kinred + + Leon. Daughter, remember what I told you, if the +Prince doe solicit you in that kinde, you know your answere + + Beatrice. The fault will be in the musicke cosin, if you +be not woed in good time: if the Prince bee too important, +tell him there is measure in euery thing, & so dance +out the answere, for heare me Hero, wooing, wedding, & +repenting, is as a Scotch jigge, a measure, and a cinquepace: +the first suite is hot and hasty like a Scotch jigge +(and full as fantasticall) the wedding manerly modest, +(as a measure) full of state & aunchentry, and then comes +repentance, and with his bad legs falls into the cinquepace +faster and faster, till he sinkes into his graue + + Leonato. Cosin you apprehend passing shrewdly + + Beatrice. I haue a good eye vnckle, I can see a Church +by daylight + + Leon. The reuellers are entring brother, make good +roome. +Enter Prince, Pedro, Claudio, and Benedicke, and Balthasar, or +dumbe Iohn, +Maskers with a drum. + + Pedro. Lady, will you walke about with your friend? + Hero. So you walke softly, and looke sweetly, and say +nothing, I am yours for the walke, and especially when I +walke away + + Pedro. With me in your company + + Hero. I may say so when I please + + Pedro. And when please you to say so? + Hero. When I like your fauour, for God defend the +Lute should be like the case + + Pedro. My visor is Philemons roofe, within the house +is Loue + + Hero. Why then your visor should be thatcht + + Pedro. Speake low if you speake Loue + + Bene. Well, I would you did like me + + Mar. So would not I for your owne sake, for I haue +manie ill qualities + + Bene. Which is one? + Mar. I say my prayers alowd + + Ben. I loue you the better, the hearers may cry Amen + + Mar. God match me with a good dauncer + + Balt. Amen + + Mar. And God keepe him out of my sight when the +daunce is done: answer Clarke + + Balt. No more words, the Clarke is answered + + Vrsula. I know you well enough, you are Signior Anthonio + + Anth. At a word, I am not + + Vrsula. I know you by the wagling of your head + + Anth. To tell you true, I counterfet him + + Vrsu. You could neuer doe him so ill well, vnlesse +you were the very man: here's his dry hand vp & down, +you are he, you are he + + Anth. At a word I am not + + Vrsula. Come, come, doe you thinke I doe not know +you by your excellent wit? can vertue hide it selfe? goe +to mumme, you are he, graces will appeare, and there's +an end + + Beat. Will you not tell me who told you so? + Bene. No, you shall pardon me + + Beat. Nor will you not tell me who you are? + Bened. Not now + + Beat. That I was disdainfull, and that I had my good +wit out of the hundred merry tales: well, this was Signior +Benedicke that said so + + Bene. What's he? + Beat. I am sure you know him well enough + + Bene. Not I, beleeue me + + Beat. Did he neuer make you laugh? + Bene. I pray you what is he? + Beat. Why he is the Princes ieaster, a very dull foole, +onely his gift is, in deuising impossible slanders, none +but Libertines delight in him, and the commendation is +not in his witte, but in his villanie, for hee both pleaseth +men and angers them, and then they laugh at him, and +beat him: I am sure he is in the Fleet, I would he had +boorded me + + Bene. When I know the Gentleman, Ile tell him what +you say + + Beat. Do, do, hee'l but breake a comparison or two +on me, which peraduenture (not markt, or not laugh'd +at) strikes him into melancholly, and then there's a Partridge +wing saued, for the foole will eate no supper that +night. We must follow the Leaders + + Ben. In euery good thing + + Bea. Nay, if they leade to any ill, I will leaue them +at the next turning. + +Exeunt. + +Musicke for the dance. + + Iohn. Sure my brother is amorous on Hero, and hath +withdrawne her father to breake with him about it: the +Ladies follow her, and but one visor remaines + + Borachio. And that is Claudio, I know him by his bearing + + Iohn. Are not you signior Benedicke? + Clau. You know me well, I am hee + + Iohn. Signior, you are verie neere my Brother in his +loue, he is enamor'd on Hero, I pray you disswade him +from her, she is no equall for his birth: you may do the +part of an honest man in it + + Claudio. How know you he loues her? + Iohn. I heard him sweare his affection + + Bor. So did I too, and he swore he would marrie her +to night + + Iohn. Come, let vs to the banquet. + +Ex. manet Clau. + + Clau. Thus answere I in name of Benedicke, +But heare these ill newes with the eares of Claudio: +'Tis certaine so, the Prince woes for himselfe: +Friendship is constant in all other things, +Saue in the Office and affaires of loue: +Therefore all hearts in loue vse their owne tongues. +Let euerie eye negotiate for it selfe, +And trust no Agent: for beautie is a witch, +Against whose charmes, faith melteth into blood: +This is an accident of hourely proofe, +Which I mistrusted not. Farewell therefore Hero. +Enter Benedicke. + + Ben. Count Claudio + + Clau. Yea, the same + + Ben. Come, will you goe with me? + Clau. Whither? + Ben. Euen to the next Willow, about your own businesse, +Count. What fashion will you weare the Garland +off? About your necke, like an Vsurers chaine? Or +vnder your arme, like a Lieutenants scarfe? You must +weare it one way, for the Prince hath got your Hero + + Clau . I wish him ioy of her + + Ben. Why that's spoken like an honest Drouier, so +they sel Bullockes: but did you thinke the Prince wold +haue serued you thus? + Clau. I pray you leaue me + + Ben. Ho now you strike like the blindman, 'twas the +boy that stole your meate, and you'l beat the post + + Clau. If it will not be, Ile leaue you. +Enter. + + Ben. Alas poore hurt fowle, now will he creepe into +sedges: But that my Ladie Beatrice should know me, & +not know me: the Princes foole! Hah? It may be I goe +vnder that title, because I am merrie: yea but so I am +apt to do my selfe wrong: I am not so reputed, it is the +base (though bitter) disposition of Beatrice, that putt's +the world into her person, and so giues me out: well, Ile +be reuenged as I may. +Enter the Prince. + + Pedro. Now Signior, where's the Count, did you +see him? + Bene. Troth my Lord, I haue played the part of Lady +Fame, I found him heere as melancholy as a Lodge in a +Warren, I told him, and I thinke, told him true, that your +grace had got the will of this young Lady, and I offered +him my company to a willow tree, either to make him a +garland, as being forsaken, or to binde him a rod, as being +worthy to be whipt + + Pedro. To be whipt, what's his fault? + Bene. The flat transgression of a Schoole-boy, who +being ouer-ioyed with finding a birds nest, shewes it his +companion, and he steales it + + Pedro. Wilt thou make a trust, a transgression? the +transgression is in the stealer + + Ben. Yet it had not been amisse the rod had beene +made, and the garland too, for the garland he might haue +worne himselfe, and the rod hee might haue bestowed on +you, who (as I take it) haue stolne his birds nest + + Pedro. I will but teach them to sing, and restore them +to the owner + + Bene. If their singing answer your saying, by my faith +you say honestly + + Pedro. The Lady Beatrice hath a quarrell to you, the +Gentleman that daunst with her, told her shee is much +wrong'd by you + + Bene. O she misusde me past the indurance of a block: +an oake but with one greene leafe on it, would haue answered +her: my very visor began to assume life, and scold +with her: shee told mee, not thinking I had beene my +selfe, that I was the Princes Iester, and that I was duller +then a great thaw, hudling iest vpon iest, with such impossible +conueiance vpon me, that I stood like a man at a +marke, with a whole army shooting at me: shee speakes +poynyards, and euery word stabbes: if her breath were +as terrible as terminations, there were no liuing neere +her, she would infect to the north starre: I would not +marry her, though she were indowed with all that Adam +had left him before he transgrest, she would haue made + Hercules haue turnd spit, yea, and haue cleft his club to +make the fire too: come, talke not of her, you shall finde +her the infernall Ate in good apparell. I would to God +some scholler would coniure her, for certainely while she +is heere, a man may liue as quiet in hell, as in a sanctuary, +and people sinne vpon purpose, because they would goe +thither, so indeed all disquiet, horror, and perturbation +followes her. +Enter Claudio and Beatrice, Leonato, Hero. + + Pedro. Looke heere she comes + + Bene. Will your Grace command mee any seruice to +the worlds end? I will goe on the slightest arrand now +to the Antypodes that you can deuise to send me on: I +will fetch you a tooth-picker now from the furthest inch +of Asia: bring you the length of Prester Iohns foot: fetch +you a hayre off the great Chams beard: doe you any embassage +to the Pigmies, rather then hould three words +conference, with this Harpy: you haue no employment +for me? + Pedro. None, but to desire your good company + + Bene. O God sir, heeres a dish I loue not, I cannot indure +this Lady tongue. +Enter. + + Pedr. Come Lady, come, you haue lost the heart of +Signior Benedicke + + Beatr. Indeed my Lord, hee lent it me a while, and I +gaue him vse for it, a double heart for a single one, marry +once before he wonne it of mee, with false dice, therefore +your Grace may well say I haue lost it + + Pedro. You haue put him downe Lady, you haue put +him downe + + Beat. So I would not he should do me, my Lord, lest +I should prooue the mother of fooles: I haue brought +Count Claudio, whom you sent me to seeke + + Pedro. Why how now Count, wherfore are you sad? + Claud. Not sad my Lord + + Pedro. How then? sicke? + Claud. Neither, my Lord + + Beat. The Count is neither sad, nor sicke, nor merry, +nor well: but ciuill Count, ciuill as an Orange, and something +of a iealous complexion + + Pedro. Ifaith Lady, I thinke your blazon to be true. +though Ile be sworne, if hee be so, his conceit is false: +heere Claudio, I haue wooed in thy name, and faire Hero +is won, I haue broke with her father, and his good will +obtained, name the day of marriage, and God giue +thee ioy + + Leona. Count, take of me my daughter, and with her +my fortunes: his grace hath made the match, & all grace +say, Amen to it + + Beatr. Speake Count, tis your Qu + + Claud. Silence is the perfectest Herault of ioy, I were +but little happy if I could say, how much? Lady, as you +are mine, I am yours, I giue away my selfe for you, and +doat vpon the exchange + + Beat. Speake cosin, or (if you cannot) stop his mouth +with a kisse, and let not him speake neither + + Pedro. In faith Lady you haue a merry heart + + Beatr. Yea my Lord I thanke it, poore foole it keepes +on the windy side of Care, my coosin tells him in his eare +that he is in my heart + + Clau. And so she doth coosin + + Beat. Good Lord for alliance: thus goes euery one +to the world but I, and I am sun-burn'd, I may sit in a corner +and cry, heigh ho for a husband + + Pedro. Lady Beatrice, I will get you one + + Beat. I would rather haue one of your fathers getting: +hath your Grace ne're a brother like you? your father +got excellent husbands, if a maid could come by them + + Prince. Will you haue me? Lady + + Beat. No, my Lord, vnlesse I might haue another for +working-daies, your Grace is too costly to weare euerie +day: but I beseech your Grace pardon mee, I was borne +to speake all mirth, and no matter + + Prince. Your silence most offends me, and to be merry, +best becomes you, for out of question, you were born +in a merry howre + + Beatr. No sure my Lord, my Mother cried, but then +there was a starre daunst, and vnder that was I borne: cosins +God giue you ioy + + Leonato. Neece, will you looke to those things I told +you of? + Beat. I cry you mercy Vncle, by your Graces pardon. + +Exit Beatrice. + + Prince. By my troth a pleasant spirited Lady + + Leon. There's little of the melancholy element in her +my Lord, she is neuer sad, but when she sleepes, and not +euer sad then: for I haue heard my daughter say, she hath +often dreamt of vnhappinesse, and wakt her selfe with +laughing + + Pedro. Shee cannot indure to heare tell of a husband + + Leonato. O, by no meanes, she mocks all her wooers +out of suite + + Prince. She were an excellent wife for Benedick + + Leonato. O Lord, my Lord, if they were but a weeke +married, they would talke themselues madde + + Prince. Counte Claudio, when meane you to goe to +Church? + Clau. To morrow my Lord, Time goes on crutches, +till Loue haue all his rites + + Leonato. Not till monday, my deare sonne, which is +hence a iust seuen night, and a time too briefe too, to haue +all things answer minde + + Prince. Come, you shake the head at so long a breathing, +but I warrant thee Claudio, the time shall not goe +dully by vs, I will in the interim, vndertake one of Hercules +labors, which is, to bring Signior Benedicke and the +Lady Beatrice into a mountaine of affection, th' one with +th' other, I would faine haue it a match, and I doubt not +but to fashion it, if you three will but minister such assistance +as I shall giue you direction + + Leonato. My Lord, I am for you, though it cost mee +ten nights watchings + + Claud. And I my Lord + + Prin. And you to gentle Hero? + Hero. I will doe any modest office, my Lord, to helpe +my cosin to a good husband + + Prin. And Benedick is not the vnhopefullest husband +that I know: thus farre can I praise him, hee is of a noble +straine, of approued valour, and confirm'd honesty, I will +teach you how to humour your cosin, that shee shall fall +in loue with Benedicke, and I, with your two helpes, will +so practise on Benedicke, that in despight of his quicke +wit, and his queasie stomacke, hee shall fall in loue with +Beatrice: if wee can doe this, Cupid is no longer an Archer, +his glory shall be ours, for wee are the onely louegods, +goe in with me, and I will tell you my drift. +Enter. + +Enter Iohn and Borachio. + + Ioh. It is so, the Count Claudio shal marry the daughter +of Leonato + + Bora. Yea my Lord, but I can crosse it + + Iohn. Any barre, any crosse, any impediment, will be +medicinable to me, I am sicke in displeasure to him, and +whatsoeuer comes athwart his affection, ranges euenly +with mine, how canst thou crosse this marriage? + Bor. Not honestly my Lord, but so couertly, that no +dishonesty shall appeare in me + + Iohn. Shew me breefely how + + Bor. I thinke I told your Lordship a yeere since, how +much I am in the fauour of Margaret, the waiting gentlewoman +to Hero + + Iohn. I remember + + Bor. I can at any vnseasonable instant of the night, +appoint her to looke out at her Ladies chamber window + + Iohn. What life is in that, to be the death of this marriage? + Bor. The poyson of that lies in you to temper, goe +you to the Prince your brother, spare not to tell him, that +hee hath wronged his Honor in marrying the renowned +Claudio, whose estimation do you mightily hold vp, to a +contaminated stale, such a one as Hero + + Iohn. What proofe shall I make of that? + Bor. Proofe enough, to misuse the Prince, to vexe +Claudio, to vndoe Hero, and kill Leonato, looke you for any +other issue? + Iohn. Onely to despight them, I will endeauour any +thing + + Bor. Goe then, finde me a meete howre, to draw on +Pedro and the Count Claudio alone, tell them that you +know that Hero loues me, intend a kinde of zeale both +to the Prince and Claudio (as in a loue of your brothers +honor who hath made this match) and his friends reputation, +who is thus like to be cosen'd with the semblance +of a maid, that you haue discouer'd thus: they will scarcely +beleeue this without triall: offer them instances which +shall beare no lesse likelihood, than to see mee at her +chamber window, heare me call Margaret, Hero; heare +Margaret terme me Claudio, and bring them to see this +the very night before the intended wedding, for in the +meane time, I will so fashion the matter, that Hero shall +be absent, and there shall appeare such seeming truths of +Heroes disloyaltie, that iealousie shall be cal'd assurance, +and all the preparation ouerthrowne + + Iohn. Grow this to what aduerse issue it can, I will +put it in practise: be cunning in the working this, and +thy fee is a thousand ducates + + Bor. Be thou constant in the accusation, and my cunning +shall not shame me + + Iohn. I will presentlie goe learne their day of marriage. +Enter. + +Enter Benedicke alone. + + Bene. Boy + + Boy. Signior + + Bene. In my chamber window lies a booke, bring it +hither to me in the orchard + + Boy. I am heere already sir. +Enter. + + Bene. I know that, but I would haue thee hence, and +heere againe. I doe much wonder, that one man seeing +how much another man is a foole, when he dedicates his +behauiours to loue, will after hee hath laught at such +shallow follies in others, become the argument of his +owne scorne, by falling in loue, & such a man is Claudio. +I haue known when there was no musicke with him but +the drum and the fife, and now had hee rather heare the +taber and the pipe: I haue knowne when he would haue +walkt ten mile afoot, to see a good armor, and now will +he lie ten nights awake caruing the fashion of a new dublet: +he was wont to speake plaine, & to the purpose (like +an honest man & a souldier) and now is he turn'd orthography, +his words are a very fantasticall banquet, iust so +many strange dishes: may I be so conuerted, & see with +these eyes? I cannot tell, I thinke not: I will not bee +sworne, but loue may transforme me to an oyster, but Ile +take my oath on it, till he haue made an oyster of me, he +shall neuer make me such a foole: one woman is faire, yet +I am well: another is wise, yet I am well: another vertuous, +yet I am well: but till all graces be in one woman, +one woman shall not come in my grace: rich shee shall +be, that's certaine: wise, or Ile none: vertuous, or Ile neuer +cheapen her: faire, or Ile neuer looke on her: milde, +or come not neere me: Noble, or not for an Angell: of +good discourse: an excellent Musitian, and her haire shal +be of what colour it please God, hah! the Prince and +Monsieur Loue, I will hide me in the Arbor. +Enter Prince, Leonato, Claudio, and Iacke Wilson. + + Prin. Come, shall we heare this musicke? + Claud. Yea my good Lord: how still the euening is. +As husht on purpose to grace harmonie + + Prin. See you where Benedicke hath hid himselfe? + Clau. O very well my Lord: the musicke ended, +Wee'll fit the kid-foxe with a penny worth + + Prince. Come Balthasar, wee'll heare that song again + + Balth. O good my Lord, taxe not so bad a voyce, +To slander musicke any more then once + + Prin. It is the witnesse still of excellency, +To slander Musicke any more then once + + Prince. It is the witnesse still of excellencie, +To put a strange face on his owne perfection, +I pray thee sing, and let me woe no more + + Balth. Because you talke of wooing, I will sing, +Since many a wooer doth commence his suit, +To her he thinkes not worthy, yet he wooes, +Yet will he sweare he loues + + Prince. Nay pray thee come, +Or if thou wilt hold longer argument, +Doe it in notes + + Balth. Note this before my notes, +Theres not a note of mine that's worth the noting + + Prince. Why these are very crotchets that he speaks, +Note notes forsooth, and nothing + + Bene. Now diuine aire, now is his soule rauisht, is it +not strange that sheepes guts should hale soules out of +mens bodies? well, a horne for my money when all's +done. + +The Song. + +Sigh no more Ladies, sigh no more, +Men were deceiuers euer, +One foote in Sea, and one on shore, +To one thing constant neuer, +Then sigh not so, but let them goe, +And be you blithe and bonnie, +Conuerting all your sounds of woe, +Into hey nony nony. +Sing no more ditties, sing no moe, +Of dumps so dull and heauy, +The fraud of men were euer so, +Since summer first was leauy, +Then sigh not so, &c + + Prince. By my troth a good song + + Balth. And an ill singer, my Lord + + Prince. Ha, no, no faith, thou singst well enough for a +shift + + Ben. And he had been a dog that should haue howld +thus, they would haue hang'd him, and I pray God his +bad voyce bode no mischiefe, I had as liefe haue heard +the night-rauen, come what plague could haue come after +it + + Prince. Yea marry, dost thou heare Balthasar? I pray +thee get vs some excellent musick: for to morrow night +we would haue it at the Lady Heroes chamber window + + Balth. The best I can, my Lord. + +Exit Balthasar. + + Prince. Do so, farewell. Come hither Leonato, what +was it you told me of to day, that your Niece Beatrice +was in loue with signior Benedicke? + Cla. O I, stalke on, stalke on, the foule sits. I did neuer +thinke that Lady would haue loued any man + + Leon. No, nor I neither, but most wonderful, that she +should so dote on Signior Benedicke, whom shee hath in +all outward behauiours seemed euer to abhorre + + Bene. Is't possible? sits the winde in that corner? + Leo. By my troth my Lord, I cannot tell what to +thinke of it, but that she loues him with an inraged affection, +it is past the infinite of thought + + Prince. May be she doth but counterfeit + + Claud. Faith like enough + + Leon. O God! counterfeit? there was neuer counterfeit +of passion, came so neere the life of passion as she discouers +it + + Prince. Why what effects of passion shewes she? + Claud. Baite the hooke well, this fish will bite + + Leon. What effects my Lord? shee will sit you, you +heard my daughter tell you how + + Clau. She did indeed + + Prince. How, how I pray you? you amaze me, I would +haue thought her spirit had beene inuincible against all +assaults of affection + + Leo. I would haue sworne it had, my Lord, especially +against Benedicke + + Bene. I should thinke this a gull, but that the whitebearded +fellow speakes it: knauery cannot sure hide +himselfe in such reuerence + + Claud. He hath tane th' infection, hold it vp + + Prince. Hath shee made her affection known to Benedicke: + Leonato. No, and sweares she neuer will, that's her +torment + + Claud. 'Tis true indeed, so your daughter saies: shall +I, saies she, that haue so oft encountred him with scorne, +write to him that I loue him? + Leo. This saies shee now when shee is beginning to +write to him, for shee'll be vp twenty times a night, and +there will she sit in her smocke, till she haue writ a sheet +of paper: my daughter tells vs all + + Clau. Now you talke of a sheet of paper, I remember +a pretty iest your daughter told vs of + + Leon. O when she had writ it, & was reading it ouer, +she found Benedicke and Beatrice betweene the sheete + + Clau. That + + Leon. O she tore the letter into a thousand halfpence, +raild at her self, that she should be so immodest to write, +to one that shee knew would flout her: I measure him, +saies she, by my owne spirit, for I should flout him if hee +writ to mee, yea though I loue him, I should + + Clau. Then downe vpon her knees she falls, weepes, +sobs, beates her heart, teares her hayre, praies, curses, O +sweet Benedicke, God giue me patience + + Leon. She doth indeed, my daughter saies so, and the +extasie hath so much ouerborne her, that my daughter is +somtime afeard she will doe a desperate out-rage to her +selfe, it is very true + + Prince. It were good that Benedicke knew of it by some +other, if she will not discouer it + + Clau. To what end? he would but make a sport of it, +and torment the poore Lady worse + + Prin. And he should, it were an almes to hang him, +shee's an excellent sweet Lady, and (out of all suspition,) +she is vertuous + + Claudio. And she is exceeding wise + + Prince. In euery thing, but in louing Benedicke + + Leon. O my Lord, wisedome and bloud combating in +so tender a body, we haue ten proofes to one, that bloud +hath the victory, I am sorry for her, as I haue iust cause, +being her Vncle, and her Guardian + + Prince. I would shee had bestowed this dotage on +mee, I would haue daft all other respects, and made her +halfe my selfe: I pray you tell Benedicke of it, and heare +what he will say + + Leon. Were it good thinke you? + Clau. Hero thinkes surely she wil die, for she saies she +will die, if hee loue her not, and shee will die ere shee +make her loue knowne, and she will die if hee wooe her, +rather than shee will bate one breath of her accustomed +crossenesse + + Prince. She doth well, if she should make tender of her +loue, 'tis very possible hee'l scorne it, for the man (as you +know all) hath a contemptible spirit + + Clau. He is a very proper man + + Prin. He hath indeed a good outward happines + + Clau. 'Fore God, and in my minde very wise + + Prin. He doth indeed shew some sparkes that are like +wit + + Leon. And I take him to be valiant + + Prin. As Hector, I assure you, and in the managing of +quarrels you may see hee is wise, for either hee auoydes +them with great discretion, or vndertakes them with a +Christian-like feare + + Leon. If hee doe feare God, a must necessarilie keepe +peace, if hee breake the peace, hee ought to enter into a +quarrell with feare and trembling + + Prin. And so will he doe, for the man doth fear God, +howsoeuer it seemes not in him, by some large ieasts hee +will make: well, I am sorry for your niece, shall we goe +see Benedicke, and tell him of her loue + + Claud. Neuer tell him, my Lord, let her weare it out +with good counsell + + Leon. Nay that's impossible, she may weare her heart +out first + + Prin. Well, we will heare further of it by your daughter, +let it coole the while, I loue Benedicke well, and I +could wish he would modestly examine himselfe, to see +how much he is vnworthy to haue so good a Lady + + Leon. My Lord, will you walke? dinner is ready + + Clau. If he do not doat on her vpon this, I wil neuer +trust my expectation + + Prin. Let there be the same Net spread for her, and +that must your daughter and her gentlewoman carry: +the sport will be, when they hold one an opinion of anothers +dotage, and no such matter, that's the Scene that I +would see, which will be meerely a dumbe shew: let vs +send her to call him into dinner. + +Exeunt. + + Bene. This can be no tricke, the conference was sadly +borne, they haue the truth of this from Hero, they seeme +to pittie the Lady: it seemes her affections haue the full +bent: loue me? why it must be requited: I heare how I +am censur'd, they say I will beare my selfe proudly, if I +perceiue the loue come from her: they say too, that she +will rather die than giue any signe of affection: I did neuer +thinke to marry, I must not seeme proud, happy are +they that heare their detractions, and can put them to +mending: they say the Lady is faire, 'tis a truth, I can +beare them witnesse: and vertuous, tis so, I cannot reprooue +it, and wise, but for louing me, by my troth it is +no addition to her witte, nor no great argument of her +folly; for I wil be horribly in loue with her, I may chance +haue some odde quirkes and remnants of witte broken +on mee, because I haue rail'd so long against marriage: +but doth not the appetite alter? a man loues the meat in +his youth, that he cannot indure in his age. Shall quips +and sentences, and these paper bullets of the braine awe +a man from the careere of his humour? No, the world +must be peopled. When I said I would die a batcheler, I +did not think I should liue till I were maried, here comes +Beatrice: by this day, shee's a faire Lady, I doe spie some +markes of loue in her. +Enter Beatrice. + + Beat. Against my wil I am sent to bid you come in to +dinner + + Bene. Faire Beatrice, I thanke you for your paines + + Beat. I tooke no more paines for those thankes, then +you take paines to thanke me, if it had been painefull, I +would not haue come + + Bene. You take pleasure then in the message + + Beat. Yea iust so much as you may take vpon a kniues +point, and choake a daw withall: you haue no stomacke +signior, fare you well. +Enter. + + Bene. Ha, against my will I am sent to bid you come +into dinner: there's a double meaning in that: I tooke +no more paines for those thankes then you took paines +to thanke me, that's as much as to say, any paines that I +take for you is as easie as thankes: if I do not take pitty +of her I am a villaine, if I doe not loue her I am a Iew, I +will goe get her picture. +Enter. + + +Actus Tertius. + +Enter Hero and two Gentlemen, Margaret, and Vrsula. + + Hero. Good Margaret runne thee to the parlour, +There shalt thou finde my Cosin Beatrice, +Proposing with the Prince and Claudio, +Whisper her eare, and tell her I and Vrsula, +Walke in the Orchard, and our whole discourse +Is all of her, say that thou ouer-heardst vs, +And bid her steale into the pleached bower, +Where hony-suckles ripened by the sunne, +Forbid the sunne to enter: like fauourites, +Made proud by Princes, that aduance their pride, +Against that power that bred it, there will she hide her, +To listen our purpose, this is thy office, +Beare thee well in it, and leaue vs alone + + Marg. Ile make her come I warrant you presently + + Hero. Now Vrsula, when Beatrice doth come, +As we do trace this alley vp and downe, +Our talke must onely be of Benedicke, +When I doe name him, let it be thy part, +To praise him more then euer man did merit, +My talke to thee must be how Benedicke +Is sicke in loue with Beatrice; of this matter, +Is little Cupids crafty arrow made, +That onely wounds by heare-say: now begin, +Enter Beatrice. + +For looke where Beatrice like a Lapwing runs +Close by the ground, to heare our conference + + Vrs. The pleasant'st angling is to see the fish +Cut with her golden ores the siluer streame, +And greedily deuoure the treacherous baite: +So angle we for Beatrice, who euen now, +Is couched in the wood-bine couerture, +Feare you not my part of the Dialogue + + Her. Then go we neare her that her eare loose nothing, +Of the false sweete baite that we lay for it: +No truely Vrsula, she is too disdainfull, +I know her spirits are as coy and wilde, +As Haggerds of the rocke + + Vrsula. But are you sure, +That Benedicke loues Beatrice so intirely? + Her. So saies the Prince, and my new trothed Lord + + Vrs. And did they bid you tell her of it, Madam? + Her. They did intreate me to acquaint her of it, +But I perswaded them, if they lou'd Benedicke, +To wish him wrastle with affection, +And neuer to let Beatrice know of it + + Vrsula. Why did you so, doth not the Gentleman +Deserue as full as fortunate a bed, +As euer Beatrice shall couch vpon? + Hero. O God of loue! I know he doth deserue, +As much as may be yeelded to a man: +But Nature neuer fram'd a womans heart, +Of prowder stuffe then that of Beatrice: +Disdaine and Scorne ride sparkling in her eyes, +Mis-prizing what they looke on, and her wit +Values it selfe so highly, that to her +All matter else seemes weake: she cannot loue, +Nor take no shape nor proiect of affection, +Shee is so selfe indeared + + Vrsula. Sure I thinke so, +And therefore certainely it were not good +She knew his loue, lest she make sport at it + + Hero. Why you speake truth, I neuer yet saw man, +How wise, how noble, yong, how rarely featur'd. +But she would spell him backward: if faire fac'd, +She would sweare the gentleman should be her sister: +If blacke, why Nature drawing of an anticke, +Made a foule blot: if tall, a launce ill headed: +If low, an agot very vildlie cut: +If speaking, why a vane blowne with all windes: +If silent, why a blocke moued with none. +So turnes she euery man the wrong side out, +And neuer giues to Truth and Vertue, that +Which simplenesse and merit purchaseth + + Vrsu. Sure, sure, such carping is not commendable + + Hero. No, not to be so odde, and from all fashions, +As Beatrice is, cannot be commendable, +But who dare tell her so? if I should speake, +She would mocke me into ayre, O she would laugh me +Out of my selfe, presse me to death with wit, +Therefore let Benedicke like couered fire, +Consume away in sighes, waste inwardly: +It were a better death, to die with mockes, +Which is as bad as die with tickling + + Vrsu. Yet tell her of it, heare what shee will say + + Hero. No, rather I will goe to Benedicke, +And counsaile him to fight against his passion, +And truly Ile deuise some honest slanders, +To staine my cosin with, one doth not know, +How much an ill word may impoison liking + + Vrsu. O doe not doe your cosin such a wrong, +She cannot be so much without true iudgement, +Hauing so swift and excellent a wit +As she is prisde to haue, as to refuse +So rare a Gentleman as signior Benedicke + + Hero. He is the onely man of Italy, +Alwaies excepted, my deare Claudio + + Vrsu. I pray you be not angry with me, Madame, +Speaking my fancy: Signior Benedicke, +For shape, for bearing argument and valour, +Goes formost in report through Italy + + Hero. Indeed he hath an excellent good name + + Vrsu. His excellence did earne it ere he had it: +When are you married Madame? + Hero. Why euerie day to morrow, come goe in, +Ile shew thee some attires, and haue thy counsell, +Which is the best to furnish me to morrow + + Vrsu. Shee's tane I warrant you, +We haue caught her Madame? + Hero. If it proue so, then louing goes by haps, +Some Cupid kills with arrowes, some with traps. +Enter. + + Beat. What fire is in mine eares? can this be true? +Stand I condemn'd for pride and scorne so much? +Contempt, farewell, and maiden pride, adew, +No glory liues behinde the backe of such. +And Benedicke, loue on, I will requite thee, +Taming my wilde heart to thy louing hand: +If thou dost loue, my kindnesse shall incite thee +To binde our loues vp in a holy band. +For others say thou dost deserue, and I +Beleeue it better then reportingly. +Enter. + +Enter Prince, Claudio, Benedicke, and Leonato. + + Prince. I doe but stay till your marriage be consummate, +and then go I toward Arragon + + Clau. Ile bring you thither my Lord, if you'l vouchsafe +me + + Prin. Nay, that would be as great a soyle in the new +glosse of your marriage, as to shew a childe his new coat +and forbid him to weare it, I will onely bee bold with +Benedicke for his companie, for from the crowne of his +head, to the sole of his foot, he is all mirth, he hath twice +or thrice cut Cupids bow-string, and the little hang-man +dare not shoot at him, he hath a heart as sound as a bell, +and his tongue is the clapper, for what his heart thinkes, +his tongue speakes + + Bene. Gallants, I am not as I haue bin + + Leo. So say I, methinkes you are sadder + + Claud. I hope he be in loue + + Prin. Hang him truant, there's no true drop of bloud +in him to be truly toucht with loue, if he be sad, he wants +money + + Bene. I haue the tooth-ach + + Prin. Draw it + + Bene. Hang it + + Claud. You must hang it first, and draw it afterwards + + Prin. What? sigh for the tooth-ach + + Leon. Where is but a humour or a worme + + Bene. Well, euery one cannot master a griefe, but hee +that has it + + Clau. Yet say I, he is in loue + + Prin. There is no appearance of fancie in him, vnlesse +it be a fancy that he hath to strange disguises, as to bee a +Dutchman to day, a Frenchman to morrow: vnlesse hee +haue a fancy to this foolery, as it appeares hee hath, hee +is no foole for fancy, as you would haue it to appeare +he is + + Clau. If he be not in loue with some woman, there +is no beleeuing old signes, a brushes his hat a mornings, +What should that bode? + Prin. Hath any man seene him at the Barbers? + Clau. No, but the Barbers man hath beene seen with +him, and the olde ornament of his cheeke hath alreadie +stuft tennis balls + + Leon. Indeed he lookes yonger than hee did, by the +losse of a beard + + Prin. Nay a rubs himselfe with Ciuit, can you smell +him out by that? + Clau. That's as much as to say, the sweet youth's in +loue + + Prin. The greatest note of it is his melancholy + + Clau. And when was he wont to wash his face? + Prin. Yea, or to paint himselfe? for the which I heare +what they say of him + + Clau. Nay, but his iesting spirit, which is now crept +into a lute-string, and now gouern'd by stops + + Prin. Indeed that tels a heauy tale for him: conclude, +he is in loue + + Clau. Nay, but I know who loues him + + Prince. That would I know too, I warrant one that +knowes him not + + Cla. Yes, and his ill conditions, and in despight of all, +dies for him + + Prin. Shee shall be buried with her face vpwards + + Bene. Yet is this no charme for the tooth-ake, old signior, +walke aside with mee, I haue studied eight or nine +wise words to speake to you, which these hobby-horses +must not heare + + Prin. For my life to breake with him about Beatrice + + Clau. 'Tis euen so, Hero and Margaret haue by this +played their parts with Beatrice, and then the two Beares +will not bite one another when they meete. +Enter Iohn the Bastard. + + Bast. My Lord and brother, God saue you + + Prin. Good den brother + + Bast. If your leisure seru'd, I would speake with you + + Prince. In priuate? + Bast. If it please you, yet Count Claudio may heare, +for what I would speake of, concernes him + + Prin. What's the matter? + Basta. Meanes your Lordship to be married to morrow? + Prin. You know he does + + Bast. I know not that when he knowes what I know + + Clau. If there be any impediment, I pray you discouer +it + + Bast. You may thinke I loue you not, let that appeare +hereafter, and ayme better at me by that I now will manifest, +for my brother (I thinke, he holds you well, and in +dearenesse of heart) hath holpe to effect your ensuing +marriage: surely sute ill spent, and labour ill bestowed + + Prin. Why, what's the matter? + Bastard. I came hither to tell you, and circumstances +shortned, (for she hath beene too long a talking of) the +Lady is disloyall + + Clau. Who Hero? + Bast. Euen shee, Leonatoes Hero, your Hero, euery +mans Hero + + Clau. Disloyall? + Bast. The word is too good to paint out her wickednesse, +I could say she were worse, thinke you of a worse +title, and I will fit her to it: wonder not till further warrant: +goe but with mee to night, you shal see her chamber +window entred, euen the night before her wedding +day, if you loue her, then to morrow wed her: But it +would better fit your honour to change your minde + + Claud. May this be so? + Princ. I will not thinke it + + Bast. If you dare not trust that you see, confesse not +that you know: if you will follow mee, I will shew you +enough, and when you haue seene more, & heard more, +proceed accordingly + + Clau. If I see any thing to night, why I should not +marry her to morrow in the congregation, where I shold +wedde, there will I shame her + + Prin. And as I wooed for thee to obtaine her, I will +ioyne with thee to disgrace her + + Bast. I will disparage her no farther, till you are my +witnesses, beare it coldly but till night, and let the issue +shew it selfe + + Prin. O day vntowardly turned! + Claud. O mischiefe strangelie thwarting! + Bastard. O plague right well preuented! so will you +say, when you haue seene the sequele. +Enter. + +Enter Dogbery and his compartner with the watch. + + Dog. Are you good men and true? + Verg. Yea, or else it were pitty but they should suffer +saluation body and soule + + Dogb. Nay, that were a punishment too good for +them, if they should haue any allegiance in them, being +chosen for the Princes watch + + Verges. Well, giue them their charge, neighbour +Dogbery + + Dog. First, who thinke you the most desartlesse man +to be Constable + + Watch.1. Hugh Ote-cake sir, or George Sea-coale, for +they can write and reade + + Dogb. Come hither neighbour Sea-coale, God hath +blest you with a good name: to be a wel-fauoured man, +is the gift of Fortune, but to write and reade, comes by +Nature + + Watch 2. Both which Master Constable + Dogb. You haue: I knew it would be your answere: +well, for your fauour sir, why giue God thankes, & make +no boast of it, and for your writing and reading, let that +appeare when there is no need of such vanity, you are +thought heere to be the most senslesse and fit man for the +Constable of the watch: therefore beare you the lanthorne: +this is your charge: You shall comprehend all +vagrom men, you are to bid any man stand in the Princes +name + + Watch 2. How if a will not stand? + Dogb. Why then take no note of him, but let him go, +and presently call the rest of the Watch together, and +thanke God you are ridde of a knaue + + Verges. If he will not stand when he is bidden, hee is +none of the Princes subiects + + Dogb. True, and they are to meddle with none but +the Princes subiects: you shall also make no noise in the +streetes: for, for the Watch to babble and talke, is most +tollerable, and not to be indured + + Watch. We will rather sleepe than talke, wee know +what belongs to a Watch + + Dog. Why you speake like an ancient and most quiet +watchman, for I cannot see how sleeping should offend: +only haue a care that your bills be not stolne: well, you +are to call at all the Alehouses, and bid them that are +drunke get them to bed + + Watch. How if they will not? + Dogb. Why then let them alone till they are sober, if +they make you not then the better answere, you may say, +they are not the men you tooke them for + + Watch. Well sir, + Dogb. If you meet a theefe, you may suspect him, by +vertue of your office, to be no true man: and for such +kinde of men, the lesse you meddle or make with them, +why the more is for your honesty + + Watch. If wee know him to be a thiefe, shall wee not +lay hands on him + + Dogb. Truly by your office you may, but I think they +that touch pitch will be defil'd: the most peaceable way +for you, if you doe take a theefe, is, to let him shew himselfe +what he is, and steale out of your company + + Ver. You haue bin alwaies cal'd a merciful ma[n] partner + + Dog. Truely I would not hang a dog by my will, much +more a man who hath anie honestie in him + + Verges. If you heare a child crie in the night you must +call to the nurse, and bid her still it + + Watch. How if the nurse be asleepe and will not +heare vs? + Dog. Why then depart in peace, and let the childe +wake her with crying, for the ewe that will not heare +her Lambe when it baes, will neuer answere a calfe when +he bleates + + Verges. 'Tis verie true + + Dog. This is the end of the charge: you constable +are to present the Princes owne person, if you meete the +Prince in the night, you may staie him + + Verges. Nay birladie that I thinke a cannot + + Dog. Fiue shillings to one on't with anie man that +knowes the Statutes, he may staie him, marrie not without +the prince be willing, for indeed the watch ought to +offend no man, and it is an offence to stay a man against +his will + + Verges. Birladie I thinke it be so + + Dog. Ha, ah ha, well masters good night, and there be +anie matter of weight chances, call vp me, keepe your +fellowes counsailes, and your owne, and good night, +come neighbour + + Watch. Well masters, we heare our charge, let vs go +sit here vpon the Church bench till two, and then all to +bed + + Dog. One word more, honest neighbors. I pray you +watch about signior Leonatoes doore, for the wedding being +there to morrow, there is a great coyle to night, +adiew, be vigitant I beseech you. + +Exeunt. + +Enter Borachio and Conrade. + + Bor. What, Conrade? + Watch. Peace, stir not + + Bor. Conrade I say + + Con. Here man, I am at thy elbow + + Bor. Mas and my elbow itcht, I thought there would +a scabbe follow + + Con. I will owe thee an answere for that, and now +forward with thy tale + + Bor. Stand thee close then vnder this penthouse, for it +drissels raine, and I will, like a true drunkard, vtter all to +thee + + Watch. Some treason masters, yet stand close + + Bor. Therefore know, I haue earned of Don Iohn a +thousand Ducates + + Con. Is it possible that anie villanie should be so deare? + Bor. Thou should'st rather aske if it were possible anie +villanie should be so rich? for when rich villains haue +neede of poore ones, poore ones may make what price +they will + + Con. I wonder at it + + Bor. That shewes thou art vnconfirm'd, thou knowest +that the fashion of a doublet, or a hat, or a cloake, is nothing +to a man + + Con. Yes, it is apparell + + Bor. I meane the fashion + + Con. Yes the fashion is the fashion + + Bor. Tush, I may as well say the foole's the foole, but +seest thou not what a deformed theefe this fashion is? + Watch. I know that deformed, a has bin a vile theefe, +this vii. yeares, a goes vp and downe like a gentle man: +I remember his name + + Bor. Did'st thou not heare some bodie? + Con. No, 'twas the vaine on the house + + Bor. Seest thou not (I say) what a deformed thiefe +this fashion is, how giddily a turnes about all the Hotblouds, +betweene, foureteene & fiue & thirtie, sometimes +fashioning them like Pharaoes souldiours in the rechie +painting, sometime like god Bels priests in the old +Church window, sometime like the shauen Hercules in +the smircht worm-eaten tapestrie, where his cod-peece +seemes as massie as his club + + Con. All this I see, and see that the fashion weares out +more apparrell then the man; but art not thou thy selfe +giddie with the fashion too that thou hast shifted out of +thy tale into telling me of the fashion? + Bor. Not so neither, but know that I haue to night +wooed Margaret the Lady Heroes gentle-woman, by the +name of Hero, she leanes me out at her mistris chamberwindow, +bids me a thousand times good night: I tell +this tale vildly. I should first tell thee how the Prince +Claudio and my Master planted, and placed, and possessed +by my Master Don Iohn, saw a far off in the Orchard this +amiable incounter + + Con. And thought thy Margaret was Hero? + Bor. Two of them did, the Prince and Claudio, but the +diuell my Master knew she was Margaret and partly by +his oathes, which first possest them, partly by the darke +night which did deceiue them, but chiefely, by my villanie, +which did confirme any slander that Don Iohn had +made, away went Claudio enraged, swore hee would +meete her as he was apointed next morning at the Temple, +and there, before the whole congregation shame her +with what he saw o're night, and send her home againe +without a husband + + Watch.1. We charge you in the Princes name stand + + Watch.2. Call vp the right master Constable, we haue +here recouered the most dangerous peece of lechery, that +euer was knowne in the Common-wealth + + Watch.1. And one Deformed is one of them, I know +him, a weares a locke + + Conr. Masters, masters + + Watch.2. Youle be made bring deformed forth I warrant +you, + Conr. Masters, neuer speake, we charge you, let vs obey +you to goe with vs + + Bor. We are like to proue a goodly commoditie, being +taken vp of these mens bils + + Conr. A commoditie in question I warrant you, come +weele obey you. + +Exeunt. + +Enter Hero, and Margaret, and Vrsula. + + Hero. Good Vrsula wake my cosin Beatrice, and desire +her to rise + + Vrsu. I will Lady + + Her. And bid her come hither + + Vrs. Well + + Mar. Troth I thinke your other rebato were better + + Hero. No pray thee good Meg, Ile weare this + + Marg. By my troth's not so good, and I warrant your +cosin will say so + + Hero. My cosin's a foole, and thou art another, ile +weare none but this + + Mar. I like the new tire within excellently, if the +haire were a thought browner: and your gown's a most +rare fashion yfaith, I saw the Dutchesse of Millaines +gowne that they praise so + + Hero. O that exceedes they say + + Mar. By my troth's but a night-gowne in respect of +yours, cloth a gold and cuts, and lac'd with siluer, set with +pearles, downe sleeues, side sleeues, and skirts, round vnderborn +with a blewish tinsel, but for a fine queint gracefull +and excellent fashion, yours is worth ten on't + + Hero. God giue mee ioy to weare it, for my heart is +exceeding heauy + + Marga. 'Twill be heauier soone, by the waight of a +man + + Hero. Fie vpon thee, art not asham'd? + Marg. Of what Lady? of speaking honourably? is +not marriage honourable in a beggar? is not your Lord +honourable without marriage? I thinke you would haue +me say, sauing your reuerence a husband: and bad thinking +doe not wrest true speaking, Ile offend no body, is +there any harme in the heauier for a husband? none I +thinke, and it be the right husband, and the right wife, +otherwise 'tis light and not heauy, aske my Lady Beatrice +else, here she comes. +Enter Beatrice. + + Hero. Good morrow Coze + + Beat. Good morrow sweet Hero + + Hero. Why how now? do you speake in the sick tune? + Beat. I am out of all other tune, me thinkes + + Mar. Claps into Light a loue, (that goes without a +burden,) do you sing it and Ile dance it + + Beat. Ye Light aloue with your heeles, then if your +husband haue stables enough, you'll looke he shall lacke +no barnes + + Mar. O illegitimate construction! I scorne that with +my heeles + + Beat. 'Tis almost fiue a clocke cosin, 'tis time you +were ready, by my troth I am exceeding ill, hey ho + + Mar. For a hauke, a horse, or a husband? + Beat. For the letter that begins them all, H + + Mar. Well, and you be not turn'd Turke, there's no +more sayling by the starre + + Beat. What meanes the foole trow? + Mar. Nothing I, but God send euery one their harts +desire + + Hero. These gloues the Count sent mee, they are an +excellent perfume + + Beat. I am stuft cosin, I cannot smell + + Mar. A maid and stuft! there's goodly catching of +colde + + Beat. O God helpe me, God help me, how long haue +you profest apprehension? + Mar. Euer since you left it, doth not my wit become +me rarely? + Beat. It is not seene enough, you should weare it in +your cap, by my troth I am sicke + + Mar. Get you some of this distill'd carduus benedictus +and lay it to your heart, it is the onely thing for a qualm + + Hero. There thou prick'st her with a thissell + + Beat. Benedictus, why benedictus? you haue some morall +in this benedictus + + Mar. Morall? no by my troth, I haue no morall meaning, +I meant plaine holy thissell, you may thinke perchance +that I thinke you are in loue, nay birlady I am not +such a foole to thinke what I list, nor I list not to thinke +what I can, nor indeed, I cannot thinke, if I would thinke +my hart out of thinking, that you are in loue, or that you +will be in loue, or that you can be in loue: yet Benedicke +was such another, and now is he become a man, he swore +hee would neuer marry, and yet now in despight of his +heart he eates his meat without grudging, and how you +may be conuerted I know not, but me thinkes you looke +with your eies as other women doe + + Beat. What pace is this that thy tongue keepes + + Mar. Not a false gallop. +Enter Vrsula. + + Vrsula. Madam, withdraw, the Prince, the Count, signior +Benedicke, Don Iohn, and all the gallants of the +towne are come to fetch you to Church + + Hero. Helpe me to dresse mee good coze, good Meg, +good Vrsula. +Enter Leonato, and the Constable, and the Headborough. + + Leonato. What would you with mee, honest neighbour? + Const.Dog. Mary sir I would haue some confidence +with you, that decernes you nearely + + Leon. Briefe I pray you, for you see it is a busie time +with me + + Const.Dog. Mary this it is sir + + Headb. Yes in truth it is sir + + Leon. What is it my good friends? + Con.Do. Goodman Verges sir speakes a little of the +matter, an old man sir, and his wits are not so blunt, as +God helpe I would desire they were, but infaith honest +as the skin betweene his browes + + Head. Yes I thank God, I am as honest as any man liuing, +that is an old man, and no honester then I + + Con.Dog. Comparisons are odorous, palabras, neighbour +Verges + + Leon. Neighbours, you are tedious + + Con.Dog. It pleases your worship to say so, but we are +the poore Dukes officers, but truely for mine owne part, +if I were as tedious as a King I could finde in my heart to +bestow it all of your worship + + Leon. All thy tediousnesse on me, ah? + Const.Dog. Yea, and 'twere a thousand times more +than 'tis, for I heare as good exclamation on your Worship +as of any man in the Citie, and though I bee but a +poore man, I am glad to heare it + + Head. And so am I + + Leon. I would faine know what you haue to say + + Head. Marry sir our watch to night, excepting your +worships presence, haue tane a couple of as arrant +knaues as any in Messina + + Con.Dog. A good old man sir, hee will be talking as +they say, when the age is in, the wit is out, God helpe vs, +it is a world to see: well said yfaith neighbour Verges, +well, God's a good man, and two men ride of a horse, +one must ride behinde, an honest soule yfaith sir, by my +troth he is, as euer broke bread, but God is to bee worshipt, +all men are not alike, alas good neighbour + + Leon. Indeed neighbour he comes too short of you + + Con.Do. Gifts that God giues + + Leon. I must leaue you + + Con.Dog. One word sir, our watch sir haue indeede +comprehended two aspitious persons, & we would haue +them this morning examined before your worship + + Leon. Take their examination your selfe, and bring it +me, I am now in great haste, as may appeare vnto you + + Const. It shall be suffigance + + Leon. Drinke some wine ere you goe: fare you well. +Enter. + + Messenger. My Lord, they stay for you to giue your +daughter to her husband + + Leon. Ile wait vpon them, I am ready + + Dogb. Goe good partner, goe get you to Francis Seacoale, +bid him bring his pen and inkehorne to the Gaole: +we are now to examine those men + + Verges. And we must doe it wisely + + Dogb. Wee will spare for no witte I warrant you: +heere's that shall driue some to a non-come, only +get the learned writer to set downe our excommunication, +and meet me at the Iaile. + +Exeunt. + + +Actus Quartus. + +Enter Prince, Bastard, Leonato, Frier, Claudio, Benedicke, Hero, +and +Beatrice. + + Leonato. Come Frier Francis, be briefe, onely to the +plaine forme of marriage, and you shal recount their particular +duties afterwards + + Fran. You come hither, my Lord, to marry this Lady + + Clau. No + + Leo. To be married to her: Frier, you come to marrie +her + + Frier. Lady, you come hither to be married to this +Count + + Hero. I doe + + Frier. If either of you know any inward impediment +why you should not be conioyned, I charge you on your +soules to vtter it + + Claud. Know you anie, Hero? + Hero. None my Lord + + Frier. Know you anie, Count? + Leon. I dare make his answer, None + + Clau. O what men dare do! what men may do! what +men daily do! + Bene. How now! interiections? why then, some be +of laughing, as ha, ha, he + + Clau. Stand thee by Frier, father, by your leaue, +Will you with free and vnconstrained soule +Giue me this maid your daughter? + Leon. As freely sonne as God did giue her me + + Cla. And what haue I to giue you back, whose worth +May counterpoise this rich and precious gift? + Prin. Nothing, vnlesse you render her againe + + Clau. Sweet Prince, you learn me noble thankfulnes: +There Leonato, take her backe againe, +Giue not this rotten Orenge to your friend, +Shee's but the signe and semblance of her honour: +Behold how like a maid she blushes heere! +O what authoritie and shew of truth +Can cunning sinne couer it selfe withall! +Comes not that bloud, as modest euidence, +To witnesse simple Vertue? would you not sweare +All you that see her, that she were a maide, +By these exterior shewes? But she is none: +She knowes the heat of a luxurious bed: +Her blush is guiltinesse, not modestie + + Leonato. What doe you meane, my Lord? + Clau. Not to be married, +Not to knit my soule to an approued wanton + + Leon. Deere my Lord, if you in your owne proofe, +Haue vanquisht the resistance of her youth, +And made defeat of her virginitie + + Clau. I know what you would say: if I haue knowne +(her, +You will say, she did imbrace me as a husband, +And so extenuate the forehand sinne: No Leonato, +I neuer tempted her with word too large, +But as a brother to his sister, shewed +Bashfull sinceritie and comely loue + + Hero. And seem'd I euer otherwise to you? + Clau. Out on thee seeming, I will write against it, +You seeme to me as Diane in her Orbe, +As chaste as is the budde ere it be blowne: +But you are more intemperate in your blood, +Than Venus, or those pampred animalls, +That rage in sauage sensualitie + + Hero. Is my Lord well, that he doth speake so wide? + Leon. Sweete Prince, why speake not you? + Prin. What should I speake? +I stand dishonour'd that haue gone about, +To linke my deare friend to a common stale + + Leon. Are these things spoken, or doe I but dreame? + Bast. Sir, they are spoken, and these things are true + + Bene. This lookes not like a nuptiall + + Hero. True, O God! + Clau. Leonato, stand I here? +Is this the Prince? is this the Princes brother? +Is this face Heroes? are our eies our owne? + Leon. All this is so, but what of this my Lord? + Clau. Let me but moue one question to your daughter, +And by that fatherly and kindly power, +That you haue in her, bid her answer truly + + Leo. I charge thee doe, as thou art my childe + + Hero. O God defend me how am I beset, +What kinde of catechizing call you this? + Clau. To make you answer truly to your name + + Hero. Is it not Hero? who can blot that name +With any iust reproach? + Claud. Marry that can Hero, +Hero it selfe can blot out Heroes vertue. +What man was he, talkt with you yesternight, +Out at your window betwixt twelue and one? +Now if you are a maid, answer to this + + Hero. I talkt with no man at that howre my Lord + + Prince. Why then you are no maiden. Leonato, +I am sorry you must heare: vpon mine honor, +My selfe, my brother, and this grieued Count +Did see her, heare her, at that howre last night, +Talke with a ruffian at her chamber window, +Who hath indeed most like a liberall villaine, +Confest the vile encounters they haue had +A thousand times in secret + + Iohn. Fie, fie, they are not to be named my Lord, +Not to be spoken of, +There is not chastitie enough in language, +Without offence to vtter them: thus pretty Lady +I am sorry for thy much misgouernment + + Claud. O Hero! what a Hero hadst thou beene +If halfe thy outward graces had beene placed +About thy thoughts and counsailes of thy heart? +But fare thee well, most foule, most faire, farewell +Thou pure impiety, and impious puritie, +For thee Ile locke vp all the gates of Loue, +And on my eie-lids shall Coniecture hang, +To turne all beauty into thoughts of harme, +And neuer shall it more be gracious + + Leon. Hath no mans dagger here a point for me? + Beat. Why how now cosin, wherfore sink you down? + Bast. Come, let vs go: these things come thus to light, +Smother her spirits vp + + Bene. How doth the Lady? + Beat. Dead I thinke, helpe vncle, +Hero, why Hero, Vncle, Signor Benedicke, Frier + + Leonato. O Fate! take not away thy heauy hand, +Death is the fairest couer for her shame +That may be wisht for + + Beatr. How now cosin Hero? + Fri. Haue comfort Ladie + + Leon. Dost thou looke vp? + Frier. Yea, wherefore should she not? + Leon. Wherfore? Why doth not euery earthly thing +Cry shame vpon her? Could she heere denie +The storie that is printed in her blood? +Do not liue Hero, do not ope thine eyes: +For did I thinke thou wouldst not quickly die, +Thought I thy spirits were stronger then thy shames, +My selfe would on the reward of reproaches +Strike at thy life. Grieu'd I, I had but one? +Chid I, for that at frugal Natures frame? +O one too much by thee: why had I one? +Why euer was't thou louelie in my eies? +Why had I not with charitable hand +Tooke vp a beggars issue at my gates, +Who smeered thus, and mir'd with infamie, +I might haue said, no part of it is mine: +This shame deriues it selfe from vnknowne loines, +But mine, and mine I lou'd, and mine I prais'd, +And mine that I was proud on mine so much, +That I my selfe, was to my selfe not mine: +Valewing of her, why she, O she is falne +Into a pit of Inke, that the wide sea +Hath drops too few to wash her cleane againe, +And salt too little, which may season giue +To her foule tainted flesh + + Ben. Sir, sir, be patient: for my part, I am so attired +in wonder, I know not what to say + + Bea. O on my soule my cosin is belied + + Ben. Ladie, were you her bedfellow last night? + Bea. No, truly: not although vntill last night, +I haue this tweluemonth bin her bedfellow + + Leon. Confirm'd, confirm'd, O that is stronger made +Which was before barr'd vp with ribs of iron. +Would the Princes lie, and Claudio lie, +Who lou'd her so, that speaking of her foulnesse, +Wash'd it with teares? Hence from her, let her die + + Fri. Heare me a little, for I haue onely bene silent so +long, and giuen way vnto this course of fortune, by noting +of the Ladie, I haue markt. +A thousand blushing apparitions, +To start into her face, a thousand innocent shames, +In Angel whitenesse beare away those blushes, +And in her eie there hath appear'd a fire +To burne the errors that these Princes hold +Against her maiden truth. Call me a foole, +Trust not my reading, nor my obseruations, +Which with experimental seale doth warrant +The tenure of my booke: trust not my age, +My reuerence, calling, nor diuinitie, +If this sweet Ladie lye not guiltlesse heere, +Vnder some biting error + + Leo. Friar, it cannot be: +Thou seest that all the Grace that she hath left, +Is, that she wil not adde to her damnation, +A sinne of periury, she not denies it: +Why seek'st thou then to couer with excuse, +That which appeares in proper nakednesse? + Fri. Ladie, what man is he you are accus'd of? + Hero. They know that do accuse me, I know none: +If I know more of any man aliue +Then that which maiden modestie doth warrant, +Let all my sinnes lacke mercy. O my Father, +Proue you that any man with me conuerst, +At houres vnmeete, or that I yesternight +Maintain'd the change of words with any creature, +Refuse me, hate me, torture me to death + + Fri. There is some strange misprision in the Princes + + Ben. Two of them haue the verie bent of honor, +And if their wisedomes be misled in this: +The practise of it liues in Iohn the bastard, +Whose spirits toile in frame of villanies + + Leo. I know not: if they speake but truth of her, +These hands shall teare her: If they wrong her honour, +The proudest of them shall wel heare of it. +Time hath not yet so dried this bloud of mine, +Nor age so eate vp my inuention, +Nor Fortune made such hauocke of my meanes, +Nor my bad life reft me so much of friends, +But they shall finde, awak'd in such a kinde, +Both strength of limbe, and policie of minde, +Ability in meanes, and choise of friends, +To quit me of them throughly + + Fri. Pause awhile: +And let my counsell sway you in this case, +Your daughter heere the Princesse (left for dead) +Let her awhile be secretly kept in, +And publish it, that she is dead indeed: +Maintaine a mourning ostentation, +And on your Families old monument, +Hang mournfull Epitaphes, and do all rites, +That appertaine vnto a buriall + + Leon. What shall become of this? What wil this do? + Fri. Marry this wel carried, shall on her behalfe, +Change slander to remorse, that is some good, +But not for that dreame I on this strange course, +But on this trauaile looke for greater birth: +She dying, as it must be so maintain'd, +Vpon the instant that she was accus'd, +Shal be lamented, pittied, and excus'd +Of euery hearer: for it so fals out, +That what we haue, we prize not to the worth, +Whiles we enioy it; but being lack'd and lost, +Why then we racke the value, then we finde +The vertue that possession would not shew vs +Whiles it was ours, so will it fare with Claudio: +When he shal heare she dyed vpon his words, +Th' Idea of her life shal sweetly creepe +Into his study of imagination. +And euery louely Organ of her life, +Shall come apparel'd in more precious habite: +More mouing delicate, and ful of life, +Into the eye and prospect of his soule +Then when she liu'd indeed: then shal he mourne, +If euer Loue had interest in his Liuer, +And wish he had not so accused her: +No, though he thought his accusation true: +Let this be so, and doubt not but successe +Wil fashion the euent in better shape, +Then I can lay it downe in likelihood. +But if all ayme but this be leuelld false, +The supposition of the Ladies death, +Will quench the wonder of her infamie. +And if it sort not well, you may conceale her +As best befits her wounded reputation, +In some reclusiue and religious life, +Out of all eyes, tongues, mindes and iniuries + + Bene. Signior Leonato, let the Frier aduise you, +And though you know my inwardnesse and loue +Is very much vnto the Prince and Claudio. +Yet, by mine honor, I will deale in this, +As secretly and iustlie, as your soule +Should with your bodie + + Leon. Being that I flow in greefe, +The smallest twine may lead me + + Frier. 'Tis well consented, presently away, +For to strange sores, strangely they straine the cure, +Come Lady, die to liue, this wedding day +Perhaps is but prolong'd, haue patience & endure. +Enter. + + Bene. Lady Beatrice, haue you wept all this while? + Beat. Yea, and I will weepe a while longer + + Bene. I will not desire that + + Beat. You haue no reason, I doe it freely + + Bene. Surelie I do beleeue your fair cosin is wrong'd + + Beat. Ah, how much might the man deserue of mee +that would right her! + Bene. Is there any way to shew such friendship? + Beat. A verie euen way, but no such friend + + Bene. May a man doe it? + Beat. It is a mans office, but not yours + + Bene. I doe loue nothing in the world so well as you, +is not that strange? + Beat. As strange as the thing I know not, it were as +possible for me to say, I loued nothing so well as you, but +beleeue me not, and yet I lie not, I confesse nothing, nor +I deny nothing, I am sorry for my cousin + + Bene. By my sword Beatrice thou lou'st me + + Beat. Doe not sweare by it and eat it + + Bene. I will sweare by it that you loue mee, and I will +make him eat it that sayes I loue not you + + Beat. Will you not eat your word? + Bene. With no sawce that can be deuised to it, I protest +I loue thee + + Beat. Why then God forgiue me + + Bene. What offence sweet Beatrice? + Beat. You haue stayed me in a happy howre, I was about +to protest I loued you + + Bene. And doe it with all thy heart + + Beat. I loue you with so much of my heart, that none +is left to protest + + Bened. Come, bid me doe any thing for thee + + Beat. Kill Claudio + + Bene. Ha, not for the wide world + + Beat. You kill me to denie, farewell + + Bene. Tarrie sweet Beatrice + + Beat. I am gone, though I am heere, there is no loue +in you, nay I pray you let me goe + + Bene. Beatrice + + Beat. Infaith I will goe + + Bene. Wee'll be friends first + + Beat. You dare easier be friends with mee, than fight +with mine enemy + + Bene. Is Claudio thine enemie? + Beat. Is a not approued in the height a villaine, that +hath slandered, scorned, dishonoured my kinswoman? O +that I were a man! what, beare her in hand vntill they +come to take hands, and then with publike accusation +vncouered slander, vnmittigated rancour? O God that I +were a man! I would eat his heart in the market-place + + Bene. Heare me Beatrice + + Beat. Talke with a man out at a window, a proper +saying + + Bene. Nay but Beatrice + + Beat. Sweet Hero, she is wrong'd, shee is slandered, +she is vndone + + Bene. Beat? + Beat. Princes and Counties! surelie a Princely testimonie, +a goodly Count, Comfect, a sweet Gallant surelie, +O that I were a man for his sake! or that I had any +friend would be a man for my sake! But manhood is melted +into cursies, valour into complement, and men are +onelie turned into tongue, and trim ones too: he is now +as valiant as Hercules, that only tells a lie, and sweares it: +I cannot be a man with wishing, therfore I will die a woman +with grieuing + + Bene. Tarry good Beatrice, by this hand I loue thee + + Beat. Vse it for my loue some other way then swearing +by it + + Bened. Thinke you in your soule the Count Claudio +hath wrong'd Hero? + Beat. Yea, as sure as I haue a thought, or a soule + + Bene. Enough, I am engagde, I will challenge him, I +will kisse your hand, and so leaue you: by this hand Claudio +shall render me a deere account: as you heare of me, +so thinke of me: goe comfort your coosin, I must say she +is dead, and so farewell. +Enter the Constables, Borachio, and the Towne Clerke in gownes. + + Keeper. Is our whole dissembly appeard? + Cowley. O a stoole and a cushion for the Sexton + + Sexton. Which be the malefactors? + Andrew. Marry that am I, and my partner + + Cowley. Nay that's certaine, wee haue the exhibition +to examine + + Sexton. But which are the offenders that are to be examined, +let them come before master Constable + + Kemp. Yea marry, let them come before mee, what is +your name, friend? + Bor. Borachio + + Kem. Pray write downe Borachio. Yours sirra + + Con. I am a Gentleman sir, and my name is Conrade + + Kee. Write downe Master gentleman Conrade: maisters, +doe you serue God: maisters, it is proued alreadie +that you are little better than false knaues, and it will goe +neere to be thought so shortly, how answer you for your +selues? + Con. Marry sir, we say we are none + + Kemp. A maruellous witty fellow I assure you, but I +will goe about with him: come you hither sirra, a word +in your eare sir, I say to you, it is thought you are false +knaues + + Bor. Sir, I say to you, we are none + + Kemp. Well, stand aside, 'fore God they are both in +a tale: haue you writ downe that they are none? + Sext. Master Constable, you goe not the way to examine, +you must call forth the watch that are their accusers + + Kemp. Yea marry, that's the eftest way, let the watch +come forth: masters, I charge you in the Princes name, +accuse these men + + Watch 1. This man said sir, that Don Iohn the Princes +brother was a villaine + + Kemp. Write down, Prince Iohn a villaine: why this +is flat periurie, to call a Princes brother villaine + + Bora. Master Constable + + Kemp. Pray thee fellow peace, I do not like thy looke +I promise thee + + Sexton. What heard you him say else? + Watch 2. Mary that he had receiued a thousand Dukates +of Don Iohn, for accusing the Lady Hero wrongfully + + Kemp. Flat Burglarie as euer was committed + + Const. Yea by th' masse that it is + + Sexton. What else fellow? + Watch 1. And that Count Claudio did meane vpon his +words, to disgrace Hero before the whole assembly, and +not marry her + + Kemp. O villaine! thou wilt be condemn'd into euerlasting +redemption for this + + Sexton. What else? + Watch. This is all + + Sexton. And this is more masters then you can deny, +Prince Iohn is this morning secretly stolne away: Hero +was in this manner accus'd, in this very manner refus'd, +and vpon the griefe of this sodainely died: Master Constable, +let these men be bound, and brought to Leonato, +I will goe before, and shew him their examination + + Const. Come, let them be opinion'd + + Sex. Let them be in the hands of Coxcombe + + Kem. Gods my life, where's the Sexton? let him write +downe the Princes Officer Coxcombe: come, binde them +thou naughty varlet + + Couley. Away, you are an asse, you are an asse + + Kemp. Dost thou not suspect my place? dost thou not +suspect my yeeres? O that hee were heere to write mee +downe an asse! but masters, remember that I am an asse: +though it be not written down, yet forget not y I am an +asse: No thou villaine, y art full of piety as shall be prou'd +vpon thee by good witnesse, I am a wise fellow, and +which is more, an officer, and which is more, a houshoulder, +and which is more, as pretty a peece of flesh as any in +Messina, and one that knowes the Law, goe to, & a rich +fellow enough, goe to, and a fellow that hath had losses, +and one that hath two gownes, and euery thing handsome +about him: bring him away: O that I had been writ +downe an asse! +Enter. + + +Actus Quintus. + +Enter Leonato and his brother. + + Brother. If you goe on thus, you will kill your selfe, +And 'tis not wisedome thus to second griefe, +Against your selfe + + Leon. I pray thee cease thy counsaile, +Which falls into mine eares as profitlesse, +As water in a siue: giue not me counsaile, +Nor let no comfort delight mine eare, +But such a one whose wrongs doth sute with mine. +Bring me a father that so lou'd his childe, +Whose ioy of her is ouer-whelmed like mine, +And bid him speake of patience, +Measure his woe the length and bredth of mine, +And let it answere euery straine for straine, +As thus for thus, and such a griefe for such, +In euery lineament, branch, shape, and forme: +If such a one will smile and stroke his beard, +And sorrow, wagge, crie hem, when he should grone, +Patch griefe with prouerbs, make misfortune drunke, +With candle-wasters: bring him yet to me, +And I of him will gather patience: +But there is no such man, for brother, men +Can counsaile, and speake comfort to that griefe, +Which they themselues not feele, but tasting it, +Their counsaile turnes to passion, which before, +Would giue preceptiall medicine to rage, +Fetter strong madnesse in a silken thred, +Charme ache with ayre, and agony with words, +No, no, 'tis all mens office, to speake patience +To those that wring vnder the load of sorrow: +But no mans vertue nor sufficiencie +To be so morall, when he shall endure +The like himselfe: therefore giue me no counsaile, +My griefs cry lowder then aduertisement + + Broth. Therein do men from children nothing differ + + Leonato. I pray thee peace, I will be flesh and bloud, +For there was neuer yet Philosopher, +That could endure the tooth-ake patiently, +How euer they haue writ the stile of gods, +And made a push at chance and sufferance + + Brother. Yet bend not all the harme vpon your selfe, +Make those that doe offend you, suffer too + + Leon. There thou speak'st reason, nay I will doe so, +My soule doth tell me, Hero is belied, +And that shall Claudio know, so shall the Prince, +And all of them that thus dishonour her. +Enter Prince and Claudio. + + Brot. Here comes the Prince and Claudio hastily + + Prin. Good den, good den + + Clau. Good day to both of you + + Leon. Heare you my Lords? + Prin. We haue some haste Leonato + + Leo. Some haste my Lord! wel, fareyouwel my Lord, +Are you so hasty now? well, all is one + + Prin. Nay, do not quarrel with vs, good old man + + Brot. If he could rite himselfe with quarrelling, +Some of vs would lie low + + Claud. Who wrongs him? + Leon. Marry y dost wrong me, thou dissembler, thou: +Nay, neuer lay thy hand vpon thy sword, +I feare thee not + + Claud. Marry beshrew my hand, +If it should giue your age such cause of feare, +Infaith my hand meant nothing to my sword + + Leonato. Tush, tush, man, neuer fleere and iest at me, +I speake not like a dotard, nor a foole, +As vnder priuiledge of age to bragge, +What I haue done being yong, or what would doe, +Were I not old, know Claudio to thy head, +Thou hast so wrong'd my innocent childe and me, +That I am forc'd to lay my reuerence by, +And with grey haires and bruise of many daies, +Doe challenge thee to triall of a man, +I say thou hast belied mine innocent childe. +Thy slander hath gone through and through her heart, +And she lies buried with her ancestors: +O in a tombe where neuer scandall slept, +Saue this of hers, fram'd by thy villanie + + Claud. My villany? + Leonato. Thine Claudio, thine I say + + Prin. You say not right old man + + Leon. My Lord, my Lord, +Ile proue it on his body if he dare, +Despight his nice fence, and his actiue practise, +His Maie of youth, and bloome of lustihood + + Claud. Away, I will not haue to do with you + + Leo. Canst thou so daffe me? thou hast kild my child, +If thou kilst me, boy, thou shalt kill a man + + Bro. He shall kill two of vs, and men indeed, +But that's no matter, let him kill one first: +Win me and weare me, let him answere me, +Come follow me boy, come sir boy, come follow me +Sir boy, ile whip you from your foyning fence, +Nay, as I am a gentleman, I will + + Leon. Brother + + Brot. Content your self, God knows I lou'd my neece, +And she is dead, slander'd to death by villaines, +That dare as well answer a man indeede, +As I dare take a serpent by the tongue. +Boyes, apes, braggarts, Iackes, milke-sops + + Leon. Brother Anthony + + Brot. Hold you content, what man? I know them, yea +And what they weigh, euen to the vtmost scruple, +Scambling, out-facing, fashion-monging boyes, +That lye, and cog, and flout, depraue, and slander, +Goe antiquely, and show outward hidiousnesse, +And speake of halfe a dozen dang'rous words, +How they might hurt their enemies, if they durst. +And this is all + + Leon. But brother Anthonie + + Ant. Come, 'tis no matter, +Do not you meddle, let me deale in this + + Pri. Gentlemen both, we will not wake your patience +My heart is sorry for your daughters death: +But on my honour she was charg'd with nothing +But what was true, and very full of proofe + + Leon. My Lord, my Lord + + Prin. I will not heare you. +Enter Benedicke. + + Leo. No come brother, away, I will be heard. + +Exeunt. ambo. + + Bro. And shall, or some of vs will smart for it + + Prin. See, see, here comes the man we went to seeke + + Clau. Now signior, what newes? + Ben. Good day my Lord + + Prin. Welcome signior, you are almost come to part +almost a fray + + Clau. Wee had likt to haue had our two noses snapt +off with two old men without teeth + + Prin. Leonato and his brother, what think'st thou? had +wee fought, I doubt we should haue beene too yong for +them + + Ben. In a false quarrell there is no true valour, I came +to seeke you both + + Clau. We haue beene vp and downe to seeke thee, for +we are high proofe melancholly, and would faine haue it +beaten away, wilt thou vse thy wit? + Ben. It is in my scabberd, shall I draw it? + Prin. Doest thou weare thy wit by thy side? + Clau. Neuer any did so, though verie many haue been +beside their wit, I will bid thee drawe, as we do the minstrels, +draw to pleasure vs + + Prin. As I am an honest man he lookes pale, art thou +sicke, or angrie? + Clau. What, courage man: what though care kil'd a +cat, thou hast mettle enough in thee to kill care + + Ben. Sir, I shall meete your wit in the careere, and +you charge it against me, I pray you chuse another subiect + + Clau. Nay then giue him another staffe, this last was +broke crosse + + Prin. By this light, he changes more and more, I thinke +he be angrie indeede + + Clau. If he be, he knowes how to turne his girdle + + Ben. Shall I speake a word in your eare? + Clau. God blesse me from a challenge + + Ben. You are a villaine, I iest not, I will make it good +how you dare, with what you dare, and when you dare: +do me right, or I will protest your cowardise: you haue +kill'd a sweete Ladie, and her death shall fall heauie on +you, let me heare from you + + Clau. Well, I will meete you, so I may haue good +cheare + + Prin. What, a feast, a feast? + Clau. I faith I thanke him, he hath bid me to a calues +head and a Capon, the which if I doe not carue most curiously, +say my knife's naught, shall I not finde a woodcocke +too? + Ben. Sir, your wit ambles well, it goes easily + + Prin. Ile tell thee how Beatrice prais'd thy wit the other +day: I said thou hadst a fine wit: true saies she, a fine +little one: no said I, a great wit: right saies shee, a great +grosse one: nay said I, a good wit: iust said she, it hurts +no body: nay said I, the gentleman is wise: certaine said +she, a wise gentleman: nay said I, he hath the tongues: +that I beleeue said shee, for hee swore a thing to me on +munday night, which he forswore on tuesday morning: +there's a double tongue, there's two tongues: thus did +shee an howre together trans-shape thy particular vertues, +yet at last she concluded with a sigh, thou wast the +proprest man in Italie + + Claud. For the which she wept heartily, and said shee +car'd not + + Prin. Yea that she did, but yet for all that, and if shee +did not hate him deadlie, shee would loue him dearely, +the old mans daughter told vs all + + Clau. All, all, and moreouer, God saw him when he +was hid in the garden + + Prin. But when shall we set the sauage Bulls hornes +on the sensible Benedicks head? + Clau. Yea and text vnderneath, heere dwells Benedicke +the married man + + Ben. Fare you well, Boy, you know my minde, I will +leaue you now to your gossep-like humor, you breake +iests as braggards do their blades, which God be thanked +hurt not: my Lord, for your manie courtesies I thank +you, I must discontinue your companie, your brother +the Bastard is fled from Messina: you haue among you, +kill'd a sweet and innocent Ladie: for my Lord Lackebeard +there, he and I shall meete, and till then peace be +with him + + Prin. He is in earnest + + Clau. In most profound earnest, and Ile warrant you, +for the loue of Beatrice + + Prin. And hath challeng'd thee + + Clau. Most sincerely + + Prin. What a prettie thing man is, when he goes in his +doublet and hose, and leaues off his wit. +Enter Constable, Conrade, and Borachio. + + Clau. He is then a Giant to an Ape, but then is an Ape +a Doctor to such a man + + Prin. But soft you, let me be, plucke vp my heart, and +be sad, did he not say my brother was fled? + Const. Come you sir, if iustice cannot tame you, shee +shall nere weigh more reasons in her ballance, nay, and +you be a cursing hypocrite once, you must be lookt to + + Prin. How now, two of my brothers men bound? Borachio +one + + Clau. Harken after their offence my Lord + + Prin. Officers, what offence haue these men done? + Const. Marrie sir, they haue committed false report, +moreouer they haue spoken vntruths, secondarily they +are slanders, sixt and lastly, they haue belyed a Ladie, +thirdly, they haue verified vniust things, and to conclude +they are lying knaues + + Prin. First I aske thee what they haue done, thirdlie +I aske thee what's their offence, sixt and lastlie why they +are committed, and to conclude, what you lay to their +charge + + Clau. Rightlie reasoned, and in his owne diuision, and +by my troth there's one meaning well suted + + Prin. Who haue you offended masters, that you are +thus bound to your answer? this learned Constable is too +cunning to be vnderstood, what's your offence? + Bor. Sweete Prince, let me go no farther to mine answere: +do you heare me, and let this Count kill mee: I +haue deceiued euen your verie eies: what your wisedomes +could not discouer, these shallow fooles haue +brought to light, who in the night ouerheard me confessing +to this man, how Don Iohn your brother incensed +me to slander the Ladie Hero, how you were brought +into the Orchard, and saw me court Margaret in Heroes +garments, how you disgrac'd her when you should +marrie her: my villanie they haue vpon record, which +I had rather seale with my death, then repeate ouer to +my shame: the Ladie is dead vpon mine and my masters +false accusation: and briefelie, I desire nothing but the +reward of a villaine + + Prin. Runs not this speech like yron through your +bloud? + Clau. I haue drunke poison whiles he vtter'd it + + Prin. But did my Brother set thee on to this? + Bor. Yea, and paid me richly for the practise of it + + Prin. He is compos'd and fram'd of treacherie, +And fled he is vpon this villanie + + Clau. Sweet Hero, now thy image doth appeare +In the rare semblance that I lou'd it first + + Const. Come, bring away the plaintiffes, by this time +our Sexton hath reformed Signior Leonato of the matter: +and masters, do not forget to specifie when time & place +shall serue, that I am an Asse + + Con.2. Here, here comes master Signior Leonato, and +the Sexton too. +Enter Leonato. + + Leon. Which is the villaine? let me see his eies, +That when I note another man like him, +I may auoide him: which of these is he? + Bor. If you would know your wronger, looke on me + + Leon. Art thou the slaue that with thy breath +hast kild mine innocent childe? + Bor. Yea, euen I alone + + Leo. No, not so villaine, thou beliest thy selfe, +Here stand a paire of honourable men, +A third is fled that had a hand in it: +I thanke you Princes for my daughters death, +Record it with your high and worthie deedes, +'Twas brauely done, if you bethinke you of it + + Clau. I know not how to pray your patience, +Yet I must speake, choose your reuenge your selfe, +Impose me to what penance your inuention +Can lay vpon my sinne, yet sinn'd I not, +But in mistaking + + Prin. By my soule nor I, +And yet to satisfie this good old man, +I would bend vnder anie heauie waight, +That heele enioyne me to + + Leon. I cannot bid you bid my daughter liue, +That were impossible, but I praie you both, +Possesse the people in Messina here, +How innocent she died, and if your loue +Can labour aught in sad inuention, +Hang her an epitaph vpon her toomb, +And sing it to her bones, sing it to night: +To morrow morning come you to my house, +And since you could not be my sonne in law, +Be yet my Nephew: my brother hath a daughter, +Almost the copie of my childe that's dead, +And she alone is heire to both of vs, +Giue her the right you should haue giu'n her cosin, +And so dies my reuenge + + Clau. O noble sir! +Your ouerkindnesse doth wring teares from me, +I do embrace your offer, and dispose +For henceforth of poore Claudio + + Leon. To morrow then I will expect your comming, +To night I take my leaue, this naughtie man +Shall face to face be brought to Margaret, +Who I beleeue was packt in all this wrong, +Hired to it by your brother + + Bor. No, by my soule she was not, +Nor knew not what she did when she spoke to me, +But alwaies hath bin iust and vertuous, +In anie thing that I do know by her + + Const. Moreouer sir, which indeede is not vnder white +and black, this plaintiffe here, the offendour did call mee +asse, I beseech you let it be remembred in his punishment, +and also the watch heard them talke of one Deformed, +they say he weares a key in his eare and a lock hanging +by it, and borrowes monie in Gods name, the which +he hath vs'd so long, and neuer paied, that now men grow +hard-harted and will lend nothing for Gods sake: praie +you examine him vpon that point + + Leon. I thanke thee for thy care and honest paines + + Const. Your worship speakes like a most thankefull +and reuerend youth, and I praise God for you + + Leon. There's for thy paines + + Const. God saue the foundation + + Leon. Goe, I discharge thee of thy prisoner, and I +thanke thee + + Const. I leaue an arrant knaue with your worship, +which I beseech your worship to correct your selfe, for +the example of others: God keepe your worship, I +wish your worship well, God restore you to health, +I humblie giue you leaue to depart, and if a merrie +meeting may be wisht, God prohibite it: come +neighbour + + Leon. Vntill to morrow morning, Lords, farewell. + +Exeunt. + + Brot. Farewell my Lords, we looke for you to morrow + + Prin. We will not faile + + Clau. To night ile mourne with Hero + + Leon. Bring you these fellowes on, weel talke with +Margaret, How her acquaintance grew with this lewd +fellow. + +Exeunt. + +Enter Benedicke and Margaret. + + Ben. Praie thee sweete Mistris Margaret, deserue +well at my hands, by helping mee to the speech of Beatrice + + Mar. Will you then write me a Sonnet in praise of +my beautie? + Bene. In so high a stile Margaret, that no man liuing +shall come ouer it, for in most comely truth thou deseruest +it + + Mar. To haue no man come ouer me, why, shall I alwaies +keepe below staires? + Bene. Thy wit is as quicke as the grey-hounds mouth, +it catches + + Mar. And yours, as blunt as the Fencers foiles, which +hit, but hurt not + + Bene. A most manly wit Margaret, it will not hurt a +woman: and so I pray thee call Beatrice, I giue thee the +bucklers + + Mar. Giue vs the swords, wee haue bucklers of our +owne + + Bene. If you vse them Margaret, you must put in the +pikes with a vice, and they are dangerous weapons for +Maides + + Mar. Well, I will call Beatrice to you, who I thinke +hath legges. + +Exit Margarite. + + Ben. And therefore will come. The God of loue that +sits aboue, and knowes me, and knowes me, how pittifull +I deserue. I meane in singing, but in louing, Leander +the good swimmer, Troilous the first imploier of +pandars, and a whole booke full of these quondam carpet-mongers, +whose name yet runne smoothly in the euen +rode of a blanke verse, why they were neuer so truely +turned ouer and ouer as my poore selfe in loue: marrie +I cannot shew it rime, I haue tried, I can finde out no +rime to Ladie but babie, an innocent rime: for scorne, +horne, a hard rime: for schoole foole, a babling rime: +verie ominous endings, no, I was not borne vnder a riming +Plannet, for I cannot wooe in festiuall tearmes: +Enter Beatrice. + +sweete Beatrice would'st thou come when I cal'd +thee? + Beat. Yea Signior, and depart when you bid me + + Bene. O stay but till then + + Beat. Then, is spoken: fare you well now, and yet ere +I goe, let me goe with that I came, which is, with knowing +what hath past betweene you and Claudio + + Bene. Onely foule words, and thereupon I will kisse +thee + + Beat. Foule words is but foule wind, and foule wind +is but foule breath, and foule breath is noisome, therefore +I will depart vnkist + + Bene. Thou hast frighted the word out of his right +sence, so forcible is thy wit, but I must tell thee plainely, +Claudio vndergoes my challenge, and either I must shortly +heare from him, or I will subscribe him a coward, and +I pray thee now tell me, for which of my bad parts didst +thou first fall in loue with me? + Beat. For them all together, which maintain'd so +politique a state of euill, that they will not admit any +good part to intermingle with them: but for which of +my good parts did you first suffer loue for me? + Bene. Suffer loue! a good epithite, I do suffer loue indeede, +for I loue thee against my will, + Beat. In spight of your heart I think, alas poore heart, +if you spight it for my sake, I will spight it for yours, for +I will neuer loue that which my friend hates + + Bened. Thou and I are too wise to wooe peaceablie + + Bea. It appeares not in this confession, there's not one +wise man among twentie that will praise himselfe + + Bene. An old, an old instance Beatrice, that liu'd in +the time of good neighbours, if a man doe not erect in +this age his owne tombe ere he dies, hee shall liue no +longer in monuments, then the Bels ring, & the Widdow +weepes + + Beat. And how long is that thinke you? + Ben. Question, why an hower in clamour and a quarter +in rhewme, therfore is it most expedient for the wise, +if Don worme (his conscience) finde no impediment to +the contrarie, to be the trumpet of his owne vertues, as +I am to my selfe so much for praising my selfe, who I my +selfe will beare witnesse is praise worthie, and now tell +me, how doth your cosin? + Beat. Verie ill + + Bene. And how doe you? + Beat. Verie ill too. +Enter Vrsula. + + Bene. Serue God, loue me, and mend, there will I leaue +you too, for here comes one in haste + + Vrs. Madam, you must come to your Vncle, yonders +old coile at home, it is prooued my Ladie Hero +hath bin falselie accusde, the Prince and Claudio +mightilie abusde, and Don Iohn is the author of all, who +is fled and gone: will you come presentlie? + Beat. Will you go heare this newes Signior? + Bene. I will liue in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried +in thy eies: and moreouer, I will goe with thee to +thy Vncles. + +Exeunt. + +Enter Claudio, Prince, and three or foure with Tapers. + + Clau. Is this the monument of Leonato? + Lord. It is my Lord. + +Epitaph. + +Done to death by slanderous tongues, +Was the Hero that here lies: +Death in guerdon of her wrongs, +Giues her fame which neuer dies: +So the life that dyed with shame, +Liues in death with glorious fame. +Hang thou there vpon the tombe, +Praising her when I am dombe + + Clau. Now musick sound & sing your solemn hymne + +Song. + +Pardon goddesse of the night, +Those that slew thy virgin knight, +For the which with songs of woe, +Round about her tombe they goe: +Midnight assist our mone, helpe vs to sigh and grone. +Heauily, heauily. +Graues yawne and yeelde your dead, +Till death be vttered, +Heauenly, heauenly + + Lo. Now vnto thy bones good night, yeerely will I do this right + + Prin. Good morrow masters, put your Torches out, +The wolues haue preied, and looke, the gentle day +Before the wheeles of Phoebus, round about +Dapples the drowsie East with spots of grey: +Thanks to you all, and leaue vs, fare you well + + Clau. Good morrow masters, each his seuerall way + + Prin. Come let vs hence, and put on other weedes, +And then to Leonatoes we will goe + + Clau. And Hymen now with luckier issue speeds, +Then this for whom we rendred vp this woe. + +Exeunt. + +Enter Leonato, Bene. Marg. Vrsula, old man, Frier, Hero. + + Frier. Did I not tell you she was innocent? + Leo. So are the Prince and Claudio who accus'd her, +Vpon the errour that you heard debated: +But Margaret was in some fault for this, +Although against her will as it appeares, +In the true course of all the question + + Old. Well, I am glad that all things sort so well + + Bene. And so am I, being else by faith enforc'd +To call young Claudio to a reckoning for it + + Leo. Well daughter, and you gentlewomen all, +Withdraw into a chamber by your selues, +And when I send for you, come hither mask'd: +The Prince and Claudio promis'd by this howre +To visit me, you know your office Brother, +You must be father to your brothers daughter, +And giue her to young Claudio. + +Exeunt. Ladies. + + Old. Which I will doe with confirm'd countenance + + Bene. Frier, I must intreat your paines, I thinke + + Frier. To doe what Signior? + Bene. To binde me, or vndoe me, one of them: +Signior Leonato, truth it is good Signior, +Your neece regards me with an eye of fauour + + Leo. That eye my daughter lent her, 'tis most true + + Bene. And I doe with an eye of loue requite her + + Leo. The sight whereof I thinke you had from me, +From Claudio, and the Prince, but what's your will? + Bened. Your answer sir is Enigmaticall, +But for my will, my will is, your good will +May stand with ours, this day to be conioyn'd, +In the state of honourable marriage, +In which (good Frier) I shall desire your helpe + + Leon. My heart is with your liking + + Frier. And my helpe. +Enter Prince and Claudio, with attendants. + + Prin. Good morrow to this faire assembly + + Leo. Good morrow Prince, good morrow Claudio: +We heere attend you, are you yet determin'd, +To day to marry with my brothers daughter? + Claud. Ile hold my minde were she an Ethiope + + Leo. Call her forth brother, heres the Frier ready + + Prin. Good morrow Benedicke, why what's the matter? +That you haue such a Februarie face, +So full of frost, of storme, and clowdinesse + + Claud. I thinke he thinkes vpon the sauage bull: +Tush, feare not man, wee'll tip thy hornes with gold, +And all Europa shall reioyce at thee, +As once Europa did at lusty Ioue, +When he would play the noble beast in loue + + Ben. Bull Ioue sir, had an amiable low, +And some such strange bull leapt your fathers Cow, +A got a Calfe in that same noble feat, +Much like to you, for you haue iust his bleat. +Enter brother, Hero, Beatrice, Margaret, Vrsula. + + Cla. For this I owe you: here comes other recknings. +Which is the Lady I must seize vpon? + Leo. This same is she, and I doe giue you her + + Cla. Why then she's mine, sweet let me see your face + + Leon. No that you shal not, till you take her hand, +Before this Frier, and sweare to marry her + + Clau. Giue me your hand before this holy Frier, +I am your husband if you like of me + + Hero. And when I liu'd I was your other wife, +And when you lou'd, you were my other husband + + Clau. Another Hero? + Hero. Nothing certainer. +One Hero died, but I doe liue, +And surely as I liue, I am a maid + + Prin. The former Hero, Hero that is dead + + Leon. Shee died my Lord, but whiles her slander liu'd + + Frier. All this amazement can I qualifie, +When after that the holy rites are ended, +Ile tell you largely of faire Heroes death: +Meane time let wonder seeme familiar, +And to the chappell let vs presently + + Ben. Soft and faire Frier, which is Beatrice? + Beat. I answer to that name, what is your will? + Bene. Doe not you loue me? + Beat. Why no, no more then reason + + Bene. Why then your Vncle, and the Prince, & Claudio, +haue beene deceiued, they swore you did + + Beat. Doe not you loue mee? + Bene. Troth no, no more then reason + + Beat. Why then my Cosin Margaret and Vrsula +Are much deceiu'd, for they did sweare you did + + Bene. They swore you were almost sicke for me + + Beat. They swore you were wel-nye dead for me + + Bene. 'Tis no matter, then you doe not loue me? + Beat. No truly, but in friendly recompence + + Leon. Come Cosin, I am sure you loue the gentlema[n] + + Clau. And Ile be sworne vpon't, that he loues her, +For heres a paper written in his hand, +A halting sonnet of his owne pure braine, +Fashioned to Beatrice + + Hero. And heeres another, +Writ in my cosins hand, stolne from her pocket, +Containing her affection vnto Benedicke + + Bene. A miracle, here's our owne hands against our +hearts: come I will haue thee, but by this light I take +thee for pittie + + Beat. I would not denie you, but by this good day, I +yeeld vpon great perswasion, & partly to saue your life, +for I was told, you were in a consumption + + Leon. Peace I will stop your mouth + + Prin. How dost thou Benedicke the married man? + Bene. Ile tell thee what Prince: a Colledge of witte-crackers +cannot flout mee out of my humour, dost thou +think I care for a Satyre or an Epigram? no, if a man will +be beaten with braines, a shall weare nothing handsome +about him: in briefe, since I do purpose to marry, I will +thinke nothing to any purpose that the world can say against +it, and therefore neuer flout at me, for I haue said +against it: for man is a giddy thing, and this is my conclusion: +for thy part Claudio, I did thinke to haue beaten +thee, but in that thou art like to be my kinsman, liue vnbruis'd, +and loue my cousin + + Cla. I had well hop'd y wouldst haue denied Beatrice, y +I might haue cudgel'd thee out of thy single life, to make +thee a double dealer, which out of questio[n] thou wilt be, +if my Cousin do not looke exceeding narrowly to thee + + Bene. Come, come, we are friends, let's haue a dance +ere we are married, that we may lighten our own hearts, +and our wiues heeles + + Leon. Wee'll haue dancing afterward + + Bene. First, of my word, therfore play musick. Prince, +thou art sad, get thee a wife, get thee a wife, there is no +staff more reuerend then one tipt with horn. +Enter. Mes. + + Messen. My Lord, your brother Iohn is tane in flight, +And brought with armed men backe to Messina + + Bene. Thinke not on him till to morrow, ile deuise +thee braue punishments for him: strike vp Pipers. + +Dance. + +FINIS. + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 2240 *** |