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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/2052-h.zip b/2052-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..7c1a121 --- /dev/null +++ b/2052-h.zip diff --git a/2052-h/2052-h.htm b/2052-h/2052-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9c680ff --- /dev/null +++ b/2052-h/2052-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1088 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> +<html> +<head> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=US-ASCII" /> +<title>Everybody's Business is Nobody's Business</title> + <style type="text/css"> +/*<![CDATA[ XML blockout */ +<!-- + P { margin-top: .75em; + margin-bottom: .75em; + } + H1, H2 { + text-align: center; + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 2em; + } + H3, H4 { + text-align: left; + margin-top: 1em; + margin-bottom: 1em; + } + BODY{margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; + } + .blkquot {margin-left: 4em; margin-right: 4em;} /* block indent */ + // --> + /* XML end ]]>*/ + </style> +</head> +<body> +<h2> +<a href="#startoftext">Everybody's Business is Nobody's Business, by Daniel Defoe</a> +</h2> +<pre> +The Project Gutenberg eBook, Everybody's Business is Nobody's Business, by +Daniel Defoe + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: Everybody's Business is Nobody's Business + + +Author: Daniel Defoe + +Release Date: April 20, 2005 [eBook #2052] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK EVERYBODY'S BUSINESS IS NOBODY'S +BUSINESS*** +</pre> +<p><a name="startoftext"></a></p> +<p>Transcribed from the 1889 George Bell & Sons edition by David +Price, email ccx074@coventry.ac.uk</p> +<h1>EVERYBODY’S BUSINESS IS NOBODY’S BUSINESS</h1> +<p>or,</p> +<p>PRIVATE ABUSES, PUBLIC GRIEVANCES:</p> +<p>EXEMPLIFIED</p> +<p>In the Pride, Insolence, and exorbitant Wages of our Women, Servants, +Footmen, &c.</p> +<p>WITH</p> +<p>A Proposal for Amendment of the same; as also for clearing the Streets +of those Vermin called Shoe-Cleaners, and substituting in their stead +many Thousands of industrious Poor, now ready to starve. With +divers other Hints of great Use to the Public.</p> +<p>Humbly submitted the Consideration of our Legislature, and the careful +Perusal of all Masters and Mistresses of Families.</p> +<p>BY ANDREW MORETON, Esq.</p> +<p>The Fifth Edition, with the Addition of a Preface.</p> +<p>LONDON:</p> +<p>Printed for W. MEADOWS, in Cornhill; and sold by T. WARNER, at the +Black Boy in Pater-Noster Row; A. DODD, without Temple Bar; and E. NUTT, +at the Royal Exchange. 1725.</p> +<p>Price Six Pence.]</p> +<h2>THE PREFACE</h2> +<p>Since this little book appeared in print, it has had no less than +three answers, and fresh attacks are daily expected from the powers +of Grub-street; but should threescore antagonists more arise, unless +they say more to the purpose than the forementioned, they shall not +tempt me to reply.</p> +<p>Nor shall I engage in a paper war, but leave my book to answer for +itself, having advanced nothing therein but evident truths, and incontestible +matters of fact.</p> +<p>The general objection is against my style; I do not set up for an +author, but write only to be understood, no matter how plain.</p> +<p>As my intentions are good, so have they had the good fortune to meet +with approbation from the sober and substantial part of mankind; as +for the vicious and vagabond, their ill-will is my ambition.</p> +<p>It is with uncommon satisfaction I see the magistracy begin to put +the laws against vagabonds in force with the utmost vigour, a great +many of those vermin, the japanners, having lately been taken up and +sent to the several work-houses in and about this city; and indeed high +time, for they grow every day more and more pernicious.</p> +<p>My project for putting watchmen under commissioners, will, I hope, +be put in practice; for it is scarce safe to go by water unless you +know your man.</p> +<p>As for the maid-servants, if I undervalue myself to take notice of +them, as they are pleased to say, it is because they overvalue themselves +so much they ought to be taken notice of.</p> +<p>This makes the guilty take my subject by the wrong end, but any impartial +reader may find, I write not against servants, but bad servants; not +against wages, but exorbitant wages, and am entirely of the poet’s +opinion,</p> +<blockquote><p>The good should meet with favour and applause,<br /> +The wicked be restrain’d by wholesome laws.</p> +</blockquote> +<p>The reason why I did not publish this book till the end of the last +sessions of parliament was, because I did not care to interfere with +more momentous affairs; but leave it to the consideration of that august +body during this recess, against the next sessions, when I shall exhibit +another complaint against a growing abuse, for which I doubt not but +to receive their approbation and the thanks of all honest men.</p> +<h2>EVERYBODY’S BUSINESS IS NOBODY’S BUSINESS</h2> +<p>This is a proverb so common in everybody’s mouth, that I wonder +nobody has yet thought it worth while to draw proper inferences from +it, and expose those little abuses, which, though they seem trifling, +and as it were scarce worth consideration, yet, by insensible degrees, +they may become of injurious consequence to the public; like some diseases, +whose first symptoms are only trifling disorders, but by continuance +and progression, their last periods terminate in the destruction of +the whole human fabric.</p> +<p>In contradiction therefore to this general rule, and out of sincere +love and well meaning to the public, give me leave to enumerate the +abuses insensibly crept in among us, and the inconveniences daily arising +from the insolence and intrigues of our servant-wenches, who, by their +caballing together, have made their party so considerable, that everybody +cries out against them; and yet, to verify the proverb, nobody has thought +of, or at least proposed a remedy, although such an undertaking, mean +as it seems to be, I hope will one day be thought worthy the consideration +of our king, lords, and commons.</p> +<p>Women servants are now so scarce, that from thirty and forty shillings +a year, their wages are increased of late to six, seven, nay, eight +pounds per annum, and upwards; insomuch that an ordinary tradesman cannot +well keep one; but his wife, who might be useful in his shop or business, +must do the drudgery of household affairs; and all this because our +servant-wenches are so puffed up with pride nowadays, that they never +think they go fine enough: it is a hard matter to know the mistress +from the maid by their dress; nay, very often the maid shall be much +the finer of the two. Our woollen manufacture suffers much by +this, for nothing but silks and satins will go down with our kitchen-wenches; +to support which intolerable pride, they have insensibly raised their +wages to such a height as was never known in any age or nation but this.</p> +<p>Let us trace this from the beginning, and suppose a person has a +servant-maid sent him out of the country, at fifty shillings, or three +pounds a year. The girl has scarce been a week, nay, a day in +her service, but a committee of servant-wenches are appointed to examine +her, who advise her to raise her wages, or give warning; to encourage +her to which, the herb-woman, or chandler-woman, or some other old intelligencer, +provides her a place of four or five pounds a year; this sets madam +cock-a-hoop, and she thinks of nothing now but vails and high wages, +and so gives warning from place to place, till she has got her wages +up to the tip-top.</p> +<p>Her neat’s leathern shoes are now transformed into laced ones +with high heels; her yarn stockings are turned into fine woollen ones, +with silk clocks; and her high wooden pattens are kicked away for leathern +clogs; she must have a hoop too, as well as her mistress; and her poor +scanty linsey-woolsey petticoat is changed into a good silk one, for +four or five yards wide at the least. Not to carry the description +farther, in short, plain country Joan is now turned into a fine London +madam, can drink tea, take snuff, and carry herself as high as the best.</p> +<p>If she be tolerably handsome, and has any share of cunning, the apprentice +or her master’s son is enticed away and ruined by her. Thus +many good families are impoverished and disgraced by these pert sluts, +who, taking the advantage of a young man’s simplicity and unruly +desires, draw many heedless youths, nay, some of good estates, into +their snares; and of this we have but too many instances.</p> +<p>Some more artful shall conceal their condition, and palm themselves +off on young fellows for gentlewomen and great fortunes. How many +families have been ruined by these ladies? when the father or master +of the family, preferring the flirting airs of a young prinked up strumpet, +to the artless sincerity of a plain, grave, and good wife, has given +his desires aloose, and destroyed soul, body, family, and estate. +But they are very favourable if they wheedle nobody into matrimony, +but only make a present of a small live creature, no bigger than a bastard, +to some of the family, no matter who gets it; when a child is born it +must be kept.</p> +<p>Our sessions’ papers of late are crowded with instances of +servant-maids robbing their places, this can be only attributed to their +devilish pride; for their whole inquiry nowadays is, how little they +shall do, how much they shall have.</p> +<p>But all this while they make so little reserve, that if they fall +sick the parish must keep them, if they are out of place, they must +prostitute their bodies, or starve; so that from clopping and changing, +they generally proceed to whoring and thieving, and this is the reason +why our streets swarm with strumpets.</p> +<p>Thus many of them rove from place to place, from bawdy-house to service, +and from service to bawdy-house again, ever unsettled and never easy, +nothing being more common than to find these creatures one week in a +good family, and the next in a brothel. This amphibious life makes +them fit for neither, for if the bawd uses them ill, away they trip +to service, and if the mistress gives them a wry word, whip they are +at a bawdy-house again, so that in effect they neither make good whores +nor good servants.</p> +<p>Those who are not thus slippery in the tail, are light of finger; +and of these the most pernicious are those who beggar you inchmeal. +If a maid is a downright thief she strips you, it once, and you know +your loss; but these retail pilferers waste you insensibly, and though +you hardly miss it, yet your substance shall decay to such a degree, +that you must have a very good bottom indeed not to feel the ill effects +of such moths in your family.</p> +<p>Tea, sugar, wine, &c., or any such trifling commodities, are +reckoned no thefts, if they do not directly take your pewter from your +shelf, or your linen from your drawers, they are very honest: What harm +is there, say they, in cribbing a little matter for a junket, a merry +bout or so? Nay, there are those that when they are sent to market +for one joint of meat, shall take up two on their master’s account, +and leave one by the way, for some of these maids are mighty charitable, +and can make a shift to maintain a small family with what they can purloin +from their masters and mistresses.</p> +<p>If you send them with ready money, they turn factors, and take threepence +or fourpence in the shilling brokerage. And here let me take notice +of one very heinous abuse, not to say petty felony, which is practised +in most of the great families about town, which is, when the tradesman +gives the house-keeper or other commanding servant a penny or twopence +in the shilling, or so much in the pound, for everything they send in, +and which, from thence, is called poundage.</p> +<p>This, in my opinion, is the greatest of villanies, and ought to incur +some punishment, yet nothing is more common, and our topping tradesmen, +who seem otherwise to stand mightily on their credit, make this but +a matter of course and custom. If I do not, says one, another +will (for the servant is sure to pick a hole in the person’s coat +who shall not pay contribution). Thus this wicked practice is +carried on and winked at, while receiving of stolen goods, and confederating +with felons, which is not a jot worse, is so openly cried out against, +and severely punished, witness Jonathan Wild.</p> +<p>And yet if a master or mistress inquire after anything missing, they +must be sure to place their words in due form, or madam huffs and flings +about at a strange rate, What, would you make a thief of her? +Who would live with such mistrustful folks? Thus you are obliged +to hold your tongue, and sit down quietly by your loss, for fear of +offending your maid, forsooth!</p> +<p>Again, if your maid shall maintain one, two, or more persons from +your table, whether they are her poor relations, countryfolk, servants +out of place, shoe-cleaners, charwomen, porters, or any other of her +menial servants, who do her ladyship’s drudgery and go of her +errands, you must not complain at your expense, or ask what has become +of such a thing, or such a thing; although it might never so reasonably +be supposed that it was altogether impossible to have so much expended +in your family; but hold your tongue for peace sake, or madam will say, +You grudge her victuals; and expose you to the last degree all over +the neighbourhood.</p> +<p>Thus have they a salve for every sore, cheat you to your face, and +insult you into the bargain; nor can you help yourself without exposing +yourself, or putting yourself into a passion.</p> +<p>Another great abuse crept in among us, is the giving of veils to +servants; this was intended originally as an encouragement to such as +were willing and handy, but by custom and corruption it is now grown +to be a thorn in our sides, and, like other good things, abused, does +more harm than good; for now they make it a perquisite, a material part +of their wages, nor must their master give a supper, but the maid expects +the guests should pay for it, nay, sometimes through the nose. +Thus have they spirited people up to this unnecessary and burthensome +piece of generosity unknown to our forefathers, who only gave gifts +to servants at Christmas-tide, which custom is yet kept into the bargain; +insomuch that a maid shall have eight pounds per annum in a gentleman’s +or merchant’s family. And if her master is a man of free +spirit, who receives much company, she very often doubles her wages +by her veils; thus having meat, drink, washing, and lodging for her +labour, she throws her whole income upon her back, and by this means +looks more like the mistress of the family than the servant-wench.</p> +<p>And now we have mentioned washing, I would ask some good housewifely +gentlewoman, if servant-maids wearing printed linens, cottons, and other +things of that nature, which require frequent washing, do not, by enhancing +the article of soap, add more to housekeeping than the generality of +people would imagine? And yet these wretches cry out against great +washes, when their own unnecessary dabs are very often the occasion.</p> +<p>But the greatest abuse of all is, that these creatures are become +their own lawgivers; nay, I think they are ours too, though nobody would +imagine that such a set of slatterns should bamboozle a whole nation; +but it is neither better nor worse, they hire themselves to you by their +own rule.</p> +<p>That is, a month’s wages, or a month’s warning; if they +don’t like you they will go away the next day, help yourself how +you can; if you don’t like them, you must give them a month’s +wages to get rid of them.</p> +<p>This custom of warning, as practised by our maid-servants, is now +become a great inconvenience to masters and mistresses. You must +carry your dish very upright, or miss, forsooth, gives you warning, +and you are either left destitute, or to seek for a servant; so that, +generally speaking, you are seldom or never fixed, but always at the +mercy of every new comer to divulge your family affairs, to inspect +your private life, and treasure up the sayings of yourself and friends. +A very great confinement, and much complained of in most families.</p> +<p>Thus have these wenches, by their continual plotting and cabals, +united themselves into a formidable body, and got the whip hand of their +betters; they make their own terms with us; and two servants now, will +scarce undertake the work which one might perform with ease; notwithstanding +which, they have raised their wages to a most exorbitant pitch; and, +I doubt not, if there be not a stop put to their career, but they will +bring wages up to 201. per annum in time, for they are much about half +way already.</p> +<p>It is by these means they run away with a great part of our money, +which might be better employed in trade, and what is worse, by their +insolent behaviour, their pride in dress, and their exorbitant wages, +they give birth to the following inconveniences.</p> +<p>First, They set an ill example to our children, our apprentices, +our covenant servants, and other dependants, by their saucy and insolent +behaviour, their pert, and sometimes abusive answers, their daring defiance +of correction, and many other insolences which youth are but too apt +to imitate.</p> +<p>Secondly, By their extravagance in dress, they put our wives and +daughters upon yet greater excesses, because they will, as indeed they +ought, go finer than the maid; thus the maid striving to outdo the mistress, +the tradesman’s wife to outdo the gentleman’s wife, the +gentleman’s wife emulating the lady, and the ladies one another; +it seems as if the whole business of the female sex were nothing but +an excess of pride, and extravagance in dress.</p> +<p>Thirdly, The great height to which women-servants have brought their +wages, makes a mutiny among the men-servants, and puts them upon raising +their wages too; so that in a little time our servants will become our +partners; nay, probably, run away with the better part of our profits, +and make servants of us <i>vice versa</i>. But yet with all these +inconveniences, we cannot possibly do without these creatures; let us +therefore cease to talk of the abuses arising from them, and begin to +think of redressing them. I do not set up for a lawgiver, and +therefore shall lay down no certain rules, humbly submitting in all +things to the wisdom of our legislature. What I offer shall be +under correction; and upon conjecture, my utmost ambition being but +to give some hints to remedy this growing evil, and leave the prosecution +to abler hands.</p> +<p>And first it would be necessary to settle and limit their wages, +from forty and fifty shillings to four and five pounds per annum, that +is to say, according to their merits and capacities; for example, a +young unexperienced servant should have forty shillings per annum, till +she qualifies herself for a larger sum; a servant who can do all household +work, or, as the good women term it, can take her work and leave her +work, should have four pounds per annum; and those who have lived seven +years in one service, should ever after demand five pounds per annum, +for I would very fain have some particular encouragements and privileges +given to such servants who should continue long in a place; it would +incite a desire to please, and cause an emulation very beneficial to +the public.</p> +<p>I have heard of an ancient charity in the parish of St. Clement’s +Danes, where a sum of money, or estate, is left, out of the interest +or income of which such maid-servants, who have lived in that parish +seven years in one service, receive a reward of ten pounds apiece, if +they please to demand it.</p> +<p>This is a noble benefaction, and shows the public spirit of the donor; +but everybody’s business is nobody’s; nor have I heard that +such reward has been paid to any servant of late years. A thousand +pities a gift of that nature should sink into oblivion, and not be kept +up as an example to incite all parishes to do the like.</p> +<p>The Romans had a law called <i>Jus Trium Liberorum</i>, by which +every man who had been a father of three children, had particular honours +and privileges. This incited the youth to quit a dissolute single +life and become fathers of families, to the support and glory of the +empire.</p> +<p>In imitation of this most excellent law, I would have such servants, +who should continue many years in one service, meet with singular esteem +and reward.</p> +<p>The apparel of our women-servants should be next regulated, that +we may know the mistress from the maid. I remember I was once +put very much to the blush, being at a friend’s house, and by +him required to salute the ladies, I kissed the chamber-jade into the +bargain, for she was as well dressed as the best. But I was soon +undeceived by a general titter, which gave me the utmost confusion; +nor can I believe myself the only person who has made such a mistake.</p> +<p>Things of this nature would be easily avoided, if servant-maids were +to wear liveries, as our footmen do; or obliged to go in a dress suitable +to their station. What should ail them, but a jacket and petticoat +of good yard-wide stuff, or calimanco, might keep them decent and warm.</p> +<p>Our charity children are distinguished by their dress, why then may +not our women-servants? why may they not be made frugal per force, and +not suffered to put all on their backs, but obliged to save something +against a rainy day? I am, therefore, entirely against servants +wearing of silks, laces, and other superfluous finery; it sets them +above themselves, and makes their mistresses contemptible in their eyes. +I am handsomer than my mistress, says a young prinked up baggage, what +pity it is I should be her servant, I go as well dressed, or better +than she. This makes the girl take the first offer to be made +a whore, and there is a good servant spoiled; whereas, were her dress +suitable to her condition, it would teach her humility, and put her +in mind of her duty.</p> +<p>Besides the fear of spoiling their clothes makes them afraid of household-work; +so that in a little time we shall have none but chambermaids and nurserymaids; +and of this let me give one instance; my family is composed of myself +and sister, a man and a maid; and, being without the last, a young wench +came to hire herself. The man was gone out, and my sister above +stairs, so I opened the door myself; and this person presented herself +to my view, dressed completely, more like a visitor than a servant-maid; +she, not knowing me, asked for my sister; pray, madam, said I, be pleased +to walk into the parlour, she shall wait on you presently. Accordingly +I handed madam in, who took it very cordially. After some apology, +I left her alone for a minute or two; while I, stupid wretch! ran up +to my sister, and told her there was a gentlewoman below come to visit +her. Dear brother, said she, don’t leave her alone, go down +and entertain her while I dress myself. Accordingly, down I went, +and talked of indifferent affairs; meanwhile my sister dressed herself +all over again, not being willing to be seen in an undress. At +last she came down dressed as clean as her visitor; but how great was +my surprise when I found my fine lady a common servant-wench.</p> +<p>My sister understanding what she was, began to inquire what wages +she expected? She modestly asked but eight pounds a year. +The next question was, what work she could do to deserve such wages? +to which she answered, she could clean a house, or dress a common family +dinner. But cannot you wash, replied my sister, or get up linen? +she answered in the negative, and said, she would undertake neither, +nor would she go into a family that did not put out their linen to wash, +and hire a charwoman to scour. She desired to see the house, and +having carefully surveyed it, said, the work was too hard for her, nor +could she undertake it. This put my sister beyond all patience, +and me into the greatest admiration. Young woman, said she, you +have made a mistake, I want a housemaid, and you are a chambermaid. +No, madam, replied she, I am not needlewoman enough for that. +And yet you ask eight pounds a year, replied my sister. Yes, madam, +said she, nor shall I bate a farthing. Then get you gone for a +lazy impudent baggage, said I, you want to be a boarder not a servant; +have you a fortune or estate that you dress at that rate? No, +sir, said she, but I hope I may wear what I work for without offence. +What you work, interrupted my sister, why you do not seem willing to +undertake any work; you will not wash nor scour; you cannot dress a +dinner for company; you are no needlewoman; and our little house of +two rooms on a floor, is too much for you. For God’s sake +what can you do? Madam, replied she pertly; I know my business; +and do not fear a service; there are more places than parish churches; +if you wash at home, you should have a laundrymaid; if you give entertainments, +you must have a cookmaid; if you have any needlework, you should have +a chambermaid; and such a house as this is enough for a housemaid in +all conscience.</p> +<p>I was pleased at the wit, and astonished at the impudence of the +girl, so dismissed her with thanks for her instructions, assuring her +that when I kept four maids she should be housemaid if she pleased.</p> +<p>Were a servant to do my business with cheerfulness, I should not +grudge at five or six pounds per annum; nor would I be so unchristian +to put more upon any one than they can bear; but to pray and pay too +is the devil. It is very hard, that I must keep four servants +or none.</p> +<p>In great families, indeed, where many servants are required, those +distinctions of chambermaid, housemaid, cookmaid, laundrymaid, nurserymaid, +&c., are requisite, to the end that each may take her particular +business, and many hands may make the work light; but for a private +gentleman, of a small fortune, to be obliged to keep so many idle jades, +when one might do the business, is intolerable, and matter of great +grievance.</p> +<p>I cannot close this discourse without a gentle admonition and reproof +to some of my own sex, I mean those gentlemen who give themselves unnecessary +airs, and cannot go to see a friend, but they must kiss and slop the +maid; and all this is done with an air of gallantry, and must not be +resented. Nay, some gentlemen are so silly, that they shall carry +on an underhand affair with their friend’s servant-maid, to their +own disgrace, and the ruin of many a young creature. Nothing is +more base and ungenerous, yet nothing more common, and withal so little +taken notice of. D-n me, Jack, says one friend to another, this +maid of yours is a pretty girl, you do so and so to her, by G-d. +This makes the creature pert, vain, and impudent, and spoils many a +good servant.</p> +<p>What gentleman will descend to this low way of intrigue, when he +shall consider that he has a footboy or an apprentice for his rival, +and that he is seldom or never admitted, but when they have been his +tasters; and the fool of fortune, though he comes at the latter end +of the feast, yet pays the whole reckoning; and so indeed would I have +all such silly cullies served.</p> +<p>If I must have an intrigue, let it be with a woman that shall not +shame me. I would never go into the kitchen, when the parlour +door was open. We are forbidden at Highgate, to kiss the maid +when we may kiss the mistress; why then will gentlemen descend so low, +by too much familiarity with these creatures, to bring themselves into +contempt?</p> +<p>I have been at places where the maid has been so dizzied with these +idle compliments that she has mistook one thing for another, and not +regarded her mistress in the least; but put on all the flirting airs +imaginable. This behaviour is nowhere so much complained of as +in taverns, coffeehouses, and places of public resort, where there are +handsome bar-keepers, &c. These creatures being puffed up +with the fulsome flattery of a set of flesh-flies, which are continually +buzzing about them, carry themselves with the utmost insolence imaginable; +insomuch, that you must speak to them with a great deal of deference, +or you are sure to be affronted. Being at a coffeehouse the other +day, where one of these ladies kept the bar, I had bespoke a dish of +rice tea; but madam was so taken up with her sparks, she had quite forgot +it. I spake for it again, and with some temper, but was answered +after a most taunting manner, not without a toss of the head, a contraction +of the nostrils, and other impertinences, too many to enumerate. +Seeing myself thus publicly insulted by such an animal, I could not +choose but show my resentment. Woman, said I, sternly, I want +a dish of rice tea, and not what your vanity and impudence may imagine; +therefore treat me as a gentleman and a customer, and serve me with +what I call for: keep your impertinent repartees and impudent behaviour +for the coxcombs that swarm round your bar, and make you so vain of +your blown carcase. And indeed I believe the insolence of this +creature will ruin her master at last, by driving away men of sobriety +and business, and making the place a den of vagabonds and rakehells.</p> +<p>Gentlemen, therefore, ought to be very circumspect in their behaviour, +and not undervalue themselves to servant-wenches, who are but too apt +to treat a gentleman ill whenever he puts himself into their power.</p> +<p>Let me now beg pardon for this digression, and return to my subject +by proposing some practicable methods for regulating of servants, which, +whether they are followed or not, yet, if they afford matter of improvement +and speculation, will answer the height of my expectation, and I will +be the first who shall approve of whatever improvements are made from +this small beginning.</p> +<p>The first abuse I would have reformed is, that servants should be +restrained from throwing themselves out of place on every idle vagary. +This might be remedied were all contracts between master and servant +made before a justice of peace, or other proper officer, and a memorandum +thereof taken in writing. Nor should such servant leave his or +her place (for men and maids might come under the same regulation) till +the time agreed on be expired, unless such servant be misused or denied +necessaries, or show some other reasonable cause for their discharge. +In that case, the master or mistress should be reprimanded or fined. +But if servants misbehave themselves, or leave their places, not being +regularly discharged, they ought to be amerced or punished. But +all those idle, ridiculous customs, and laws of their own making, as +a month’s wages, or a month’s warning, and suchlike, should +be entirely set aside and abolished.</p> +<p>When a servant has served the limited time duly and faithfully, they +should be entitled to a certificate, as is practised at present in the +wool-combing trade; nor should any person hire a servant without a certificate +or other proper security. A servant without a certificate should +be deemed a vagrant; and a master or mistress ought to assign very good +reasons indeed when they object against giving a servant his or her +certificate.</p> +<p>And though, to avoid prolixity, I have not mentioned footmen particularly +in the foregoing discourse, yet the complaints alleged against the maids +are as well masculine as feminine, and very applicable to our gentlemen’s +gentlemen; I would, therefore, have them under the very same regulations, +and, as they are fellow-servants, would not make fish of one and flesh +of the other, since daily experience teaches us, that “never a +barrel the better herring.”</p> +<p>The next great abuse among us is, that under the notion of cleaning +our shoes, above ten thousand wicked, idle, pilfering vagrants are permitted +to patrol about our city and suburbs. These are called the black-guard, +who black your honour’s shoes, and incorporate themselves under +the title of the Worshipful Company of Japanners.</p> +<p>Were this all, there were no hurt in it, and the whole might terminate +in a jest; but the mischief ends not here, they corrupt our youth, especially +our men-servants; oaths and impudence are their only flowers of rhetoric; +gaming and thieving are the principal parts of their profession; japanning +but the pretence. For example, a gentleman keeps a servant, who +among other things is to clean his master’s shoes; but our gentlemen’s +gentlemen are above it nowadays, and your man’s man performs the +office, for which piece of service you pay double and treble, especially +if you keep a table, nay, you are well off if the japanner has no more +than his own diet from it.</p> +<p>I have often observed these rascals sneaking from gentlemen’s +doors with wallets or hats’ full of good victuals, which they +either carry to their trulls, or sell for a trifle. By this means, +our butcher’s, our baker’s, our poulterer’s, and cheesemonger’s +bills are monstrously exaggerated; not to mention candles just lighted, +which sell for fivepence a pound, and many other perquisites best known +to themselves and the pilfering villains their confederates.</p> +<p>Add to this, that their continual gaming sets servants upon their +wits to supply this extravagance, though at the same time the master’s +pocket pays for it, and the time which should be spent in a gentleman’s +service is loitered away among these rakehells, insomuch that half our +messages are ineffectual, the time intended being often expired before +the message is delivered.</p> +<p>How many frequent robberies are committed by these japanners? +And to how many more are they confederates? Silver spoons, spurs, +and other small pieces of plate, are every day missing, and very often +found upon these sort of gentlemen; yet are they permitted, to the shame +of all our good laws, and the scandal of our most excellent government, +to lurk about our streets, to debauch our servants and apprentices, +and support an infinite number of scandalous, shameless trulls, yet +more wicked than themselves, for not a Jack among them but must have +his Gill.</p> +<p>By whom such indecencies are daily acted, even in our open streets, +as are very offensive to the eyes and ears of all sober persons, and +even abominable in a Christian country.</p> +<p>In any riot, or other disturbance, these sparks are always the foremost; +for most among them can turn their hands to picking of pockets, to run +away with goods from a fire, or other public confusion, to snatch anything +from a woman or child, to strip a house when the door is open, or any +other branch of a thief’s profession.</p> +<p>In short, it is a nursery for thieves and villains; modest women +are every day insulted by them and their strumpets; and such children +who run about the streets, or those servants who go on errands, do but +too frequently bring home some scraps of their beastly profane wit; +insomuch, that the conversation of our lower rank of people runs only +upon bawdy and blasphemy, notwithstanding our societies for reformation, +and our laws in force against profaneness; for this lazy life gets them +many proselytes, their numbers daily increasing from runaway apprentices +and footboys, insomuch that it is a very hard matter for a gentleman +to get him a servant, or for a tradesman to find an apprentice.</p> +<p>Innumerable other mischiefs accrue, and others will spring up from +this race of caterpillars, who must be swept from out our streets, or +we shall be overrun with all manner of wickedness.</p> +<p>But the subject is so low, it becomes disagreeable even to myself; +give me leave, therefore, to propose a way to clear the streets of these +vermin, and to substitute as many honest industrious persons in their +stead, who are now starving for want of bread, while these execrable +villains live, though in rags and nastiness, yet in plenty and luxury.</p> +<p>I, therefore, humbly propose that these vagabonds be put immediately +under the command of such taskmasters as the government shall appoint, +and that they be employed, punished, or rewarded, according to their +capacities and demerits; that is to say, the industrious and docible +to wool-combing, and other parts of the woollen manufacture, where hands +are wanted, as also to husbandry and other parts of agriculture.</p> +<p>For it is evident that there are scarce hands enow in the country +to carry on either of these affairs. Now, these vagabonds might +not only by this means be kept out of harm’s way, but be rendered +serviceable to the nation. Nor is there any need of transporting +them beyond seas, for if any are refractory they should be sent to our +stannaries and other mines, to our coal works and other places where +hard labour is required. And here I must offer one thing never +yet thought of, or proposed by any, and that is, the keeping in due +repair the navigation of the river Thames, so useful to our trade in +general; and yet of late years such vast hills of sand are gathered +together in several parts of the river, as are very prejudicial to its +navigation, one which is near London Bridge, another near Whitehall, +a third near Battersea, and a fourth near Fulham. These are of +very great hindrance to the navigation; and indeed the removal of them +ought to be a national concern, which I humbly propose may be thus effected.</p> +<p>The rebellious part of these vagabonds, as also other thieves and +offenders, should be formed into bodies under the command of proper +officers, and under the guard and awe of our soldiery. These should +every day at low water carry away these sandhills, and remove every +other obstruction to the navigation of this most excellent and useful +river.</p> +<p>It may be objected that the ballast men might do this; that as fast +as the hills are taken away they would gather together again, or that +the watermen might do it. To the first, I answer, that ballast +men, instead of taking away from these hills, make holes in other places +of the river, which is the reason so many young persons are drowned +when swimming or bathing in the river.</p> +<p>Besides, it is a work for many hands, and of long continuance; so +that ballast men do more harm than good. The second objection +is as silly; as if I should never wash myself, because I shall be dirty +again, and I think needs no other answer. And as to the third +objection, the watermen are not so public-spirited, they live only from +hand to mouth, though not one of them but finds the inconvenience of +these hills, every day being obliged to go a great way round about for +fear of running aground; insomuch that in a few years the navigation +of that part of the river will be entirely obstructed. Nevertheless, +every one of these gentlemen-watermen hopes it will last his time, and +so they all cry, The devil take the hindmost. But yet I judge +it highly necessary that this be made a national concern, like Dagenham +breach, and that these hills be removed by some means or other.</p> +<p>And now I have mentioned watermen, give me leave to complain of the +insolences and exactions they daily commit on the river Thames, and +in particular this one instance, which cries aloud for justice.</p> +<p>A young lady of distinction, in company with her brother, a little +youth, took a pair of oars at or near the Temple, on April day last, +and ordered the men to carry them to Pepper Alley Stairs. One +of the fellows, according to their usual impertinence, asked the lady +where she was going? She answered, near St. Olave’s church. +Upon which he said, she had better go through the bridge. The +lady replied she had never gone through the bridge in her life, nor +would she venture for a hundred guineas; so commanded him once more +to land her at Pepper Alley Stairs. Notwithstanding which, in +spite of her fears, threats, and commands; nay, in spite of the persuasion +of his fellow, he forced her through London Bridge, which frightened +her beyond expression. And to mend the matter, he obliged her +to pay double fare, and mobbed her into the bargain.</p> +<p>To resent which abuse, application was made to the hall, the fellow +summoned, and the lady ordered to attend, which she did, waiting there +all the morning, and was appointed to call again in the afternoon. +She came accordingly, they told her the fellow had been there, but was +gone, and that she must attend another Friday. She attended again +and again, but to the same purpose. Nor have they yet produced +the man, but tired out the lady, who has spent above ten shillings in +coach-hire, been abused and baffled into the bargain.</p> +<p>It is pity, therefore, there are not commissioners for watermen, +as there are for hackney coachmen; or that justices of the peace might +not inflict bodily penalties on watermen thus offending. But while +watermen are watermen’s judges, I shall laugh at those who carry +their complaints to the hall.</p> +<p>The usual plea in behalf of abusive watermen is, that they are drunk, +ignorant, or poor; but will that satisfy the party aggrieved, or deter +the offender from reoffending? Whereas were the offenders sent +to the house of correction, and there punished, or sentenced to work +at the sandhills aforementioned, for a time suitable to the nature of +their crimes, terror of such punishments would make them fearful of +offending, to the great quiet of the subject.</p> +<p>Now, it maybe asked, How shall we have our shoes cleaned, or how +are these industrious poor to be maintained? To this I answer +that the places of these vagabonds may be very well supplied by great +numbers of ancient persons, poor widows, and others, who have not enough +from their respective parishes to maintain them. These poor people +I would have authorised and stationed by the justices of the peace or +other magistrates. Each of these should have a particular walk +or stand, and no other shoe-cleaner should come into that walk, unless +the person misbehave and be removed. Nor should any person clean +shoes in the streets, but these authorised shoe-cleaners, who should +have some mark of distinction, and be under the immediate government +of the justices of the peace.</p> +<p>Thus would many thousands of poor people be provided for, without +burthening their parishes. Some of these may earn a shilling or +two in the day, and none less than sixpence, or thereabouts. And +lest the old japanners should appear again, in the shape of linkboys, +and knock down gentlemen in drink, or lead others out of the way into +dark remote places, where they either put out their lights, and rob +them themselves, or run away and leave them to be pillaged by others, +as is daily practised, I would have no person carry a link for hire +but some of these industrious poor, and even such, not without some +ticket or badge, to let people know whom they trust. Thus would +the streets be cleared night and day of these vermin; nor would oaths, +skirmishes, blasphemy, obscene talk, or other wicked examples, be so +public and frequent. All gaming at orange and gingerbread barrows +should be abolished, as also all penny and halfpenny lotteries, thimbles +and balls, &c., so frequent in Moorfields, Lincoln’s-inn-fields, +&c., where idle fellows resort, to play with children and apprentices, +and tempt them to steal their parents’ or master’s money.</p> +<p>There is one admirable custom in the city of London, which I could +wish were imitated in the city and liberties of Westminster, and bills +of mortality, which is, no porter can carry a burthen or letter in the +city, unless he be a ticket porter; whereas, out of the freedom part +of London, any person may take a knot and turn porter, till he be entrusted +with something of value, and then you never hear of him more.</p> +<p>This is very common, and ought to be amended. I would, therefore, +have all porters under some such regulation as coachmen, chairmen, carmen, +&c.; a man may then know whom he entrusts, and not run the risk +of losing his goods, &c. Nay, I would not have a person carry +a basket in the markets, who is not subject to some such regulation; +for very many persons oftentimes lose their dinners in sending their +meat home by persons they know nothing of.</p> +<p>Thus would all our poor be stationed, and a man or woman able to +perform any of these offices, must either comply or be termed an idle +vagrant, and sent to a place where they shall be forced to work. +By this means industry will be encouraged, idleness punished, and we +shall be famed, as well as happy for our tranquillity and decorum.</p> +<p>***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK EVERYBODY'S BUSINESS IS NOBODY'S</p> +<pre> +BUSINESS*** + + +***** This file should be named 2052-h.htm or 2052-h.zip****** + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/0/5/2052 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: Everybody's Business is Nobody's Business + + +Author: Daniel Defoe + +Release Date: April 20, 2005 [eBook #2052] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK EVERYBODY'S BUSINESS IS NOBODY'S +BUSINESS*** + + + + + + +Transcribed from the 1889 George Bell & Sons edition by David Price, +email ccx074@coventry.ac.uk + + + + + +EVERYBODY'S BUSINESS IS NOBODY'S BUSINESS + + +or, + +PRIVATE ABUSES, PUBLIC GRIEVANCES: + +EXEMPLIFIED + +In the Pride, Insolence, and exorbitant Wages of our Women, Servants, +Footmen, &c. + +WITH + +A Proposal for Amendment of the same; as also for clearing the Streets of +those Vermin called Shoe-Cleaners, and substituting in their stead many +Thousands of industrious Poor, now ready to starve. With divers other +Hints of great Use to the Public. + +Humbly submitted the Consideration of our Legislature, and the careful +Perusal of all Masters and Mistresses of Families. + +BY ANDREW MORETON, Esq. + +The Fifth Edition, with the Addition of a Preface. + +LONDON: + +Printed for W. MEADOWS, in Cornhill; and sold by T. WARNER, at the Black +Boy in Pater-Noster Row; A. DODD, without Temple Bar; and E. NUTT, at the +Royal Exchange. 1725. + +Price Six Pence.] + + + + +THE PREFACE + + +Since this little book appeared in print, it has had no less than three +answers, and fresh attacks are daily expected from the powers of Grub- +street; but should threescore antagonists more arise, unless they say +more to the purpose than the forementioned, they shall not tempt me to +reply. + +Nor shall I engage in a paper war, but leave my book to answer for +itself, having advanced nothing therein but evident truths, and +incontestible matters of fact. + +The general objection is against my style; I do not set up for an author, +but write only to be understood, no matter how plain. + +As my intentions are good, so have they had the good fortune to meet with +approbation from the sober and substantial part of mankind; as for the +vicious and vagabond, their ill-will is my ambition. + +It is with uncommon satisfaction I see the magistracy begin to put the +laws against vagabonds in force with the utmost vigour, a great many of +those vermin, the japanners, having lately been taken up and sent to the +several work-houses in and about this city; and indeed high time, for +they grow every day more and more pernicious. + +My project for putting watchmen under commissioners, will, I hope, be put +in practice; for it is scarce safe to go by water unless you know your +man. + +As for the maid-servants, if I undervalue myself to take notice of them, +as they are pleased to say, it is because they overvalue themselves so +much they ought to be taken notice of. + +This makes the guilty take my subject by the wrong end, but any impartial +reader may find, I write not against servants, but bad servants; not +against wages, but exorbitant wages, and am entirely of the poet's +opinion, + + The good should meet with favour and applause, + The wicked be restrain'd by wholesome laws. + +The reason why I did not publish this book till the end of the last +sessions of parliament was, because I did not care to interfere with more +momentous affairs; but leave it to the consideration of that august body +during this recess, against the next sessions, when I shall exhibit +another complaint against a growing abuse, for which I doubt not but to +receive their approbation and the thanks of all honest men. + + + + +EVERYBODY'S BUSINESS IS NOBODY'S BUSINESS + + +This is a proverb so common in everybody's mouth, that I wonder nobody +has yet thought it worth while to draw proper inferences from it, and +expose those little abuses, which, though they seem trifling, and as it +were scarce worth consideration, yet, by insensible degrees, they may +become of injurious consequence to the public; like some diseases, whose +first symptoms are only trifling disorders, but by continuance and +progression, their last periods terminate in the destruction of the whole +human fabric. + +In contradiction therefore to this general rule, and out of sincere love +and well meaning to the public, give me leave to enumerate the abuses +insensibly crept in among us, and the inconveniences daily arising from +the insolence and intrigues of our servant-wenches, who, by their +caballing together, have made their party so considerable, that everybody +cries out against them; and yet, to verify the proverb, nobody has +thought of, or at least proposed a remedy, although such an undertaking, +mean as it seems to be, I hope will one day be thought worthy the +consideration of our king, lords, and commons. + +Women servants are now so scarce, that from thirty and forty shillings a +year, their wages are increased of late to six, seven, nay, eight pounds +per annum, and upwards; insomuch that an ordinary tradesman cannot well +keep one; but his wife, who might be useful in his shop or business, must +do the drudgery of household affairs; and all this because our servant- +wenches are so puffed up with pride nowadays, that they never think they +go fine enough: it is a hard matter to know the mistress from the maid by +their dress; nay, very often the maid shall be much the finer of the two. +Our woollen manufacture suffers much by this, for nothing but silks and +satins will go down with our kitchen-wenches; to support which +intolerable pride, they have insensibly raised their wages to such a +height as was never known in any age or nation but this. + +Let us trace this from the beginning, and suppose a person has a servant- +maid sent him out of the country, at fifty shillings, or three pounds a +year. The girl has scarce been a week, nay, a day in her service, but a +committee of servant-wenches are appointed to examine her, who advise her +to raise her wages, or give warning; to encourage her to which, the herb- +woman, or chandler-woman, or some other old intelligencer, provides her a +place of four or five pounds a year; this sets madam cock-a-hoop, and she +thinks of nothing now but vails and high wages, and so gives warning from +place to place, till she has got her wages up to the tip-top. + +Her neat's leathern shoes are now transformed into laced ones with high +heels; her yarn stockings are turned into fine woollen ones, with silk +clocks; and her high wooden pattens are kicked away for leathern clogs; +she must have a hoop too, as well as her mistress; and her poor scanty +linsey-woolsey petticoat is changed into a good silk one, for four or +five yards wide at the least. Not to carry the description farther, in +short, plain country Joan is now turned into a fine London madam, can +drink tea, take snuff, and carry herself as high as the best. + +If she be tolerably handsome, and has any share of cunning, the +apprentice or her master's son is enticed away and ruined by her. Thus +many good families are impoverished and disgraced by these pert sluts, +who, taking the advantage of a young man's simplicity and unruly desires, +draw many heedless youths, nay, some of good estates, into their snares; +and of this we have but too many instances. + +Some more artful shall conceal their condition, and palm themselves off +on young fellows for gentlewomen and great fortunes. How many families +have been ruined by these ladies? when the father or master of the +family, preferring the flirting airs of a young prinked up strumpet, to +the artless sincerity of a plain, grave, and good wife, has given his +desires aloose, and destroyed soul, body, family, and estate. But they +are very favourable if they wheedle nobody into matrimony, but only make +a present of a small live creature, no bigger than a bastard, to some of +the family, no matter who gets it; when a child is born it must be kept. + +Our sessions' papers of late are crowded with instances of servant-maids +robbing their places, this can be only attributed to their devilish +pride; for their whole inquiry nowadays is, how little they shall do, how +much they shall have. + +But all this while they make so little reserve, that if they fall sick +the parish must keep them, if they are out of place, they must prostitute +their bodies, or starve; so that from clopping and changing, they +generally proceed to whoring and thieving, and this is the reason why our +streets swarm with strumpets. + +Thus many of them rove from place to place, from bawdy-house to service, +and from service to bawdy-house again, ever unsettled and never easy, +nothing being more common than to find these creatures one week in a good +family, and the next in a brothel. This amphibious life makes them fit +for neither, for if the bawd uses them ill, away they trip to service, +and if the mistress gives them a wry word, whip they are at a bawdy-house +again, so that in effect they neither make good whores nor good servants. + +Those who are not thus slippery in the tail, are light of finger; and of +these the most pernicious are those who beggar you inchmeal. If a maid +is a downright thief she strips you, it once, and you know your loss; but +these retail pilferers waste you insensibly, and though you hardly miss +it, yet your substance shall decay to such a degree, that you must have a +very good bottom indeed not to feel the ill effects of such moths in your +family. + +Tea, sugar, wine, &c., or any such trifling commodities, are reckoned no +thefts, if they do not directly take your pewter from your shelf, or your +linen from your drawers, they are very honest: What harm is there, say +they, in cribbing a little matter for a junket, a merry bout or so? Nay, +there are those that when they are sent to market for one joint of meat, +shall take up two on their master's account, and leave one by the way, +for some of these maids are mighty charitable, and can make a shift to +maintain a small family with what they can purloin from their masters and +mistresses. + +If you send them with ready money, they turn factors, and take threepence +or fourpence in the shilling brokerage. And here let me take notice of +one very heinous abuse, not to say petty felony, which is practised in +most of the great families about town, which is, when the tradesman gives +the house-keeper or other commanding servant a penny or twopence in the +shilling, or so much in the pound, for everything they send in, and +which, from thence, is called poundage. + +This, in my opinion, is the greatest of villanies, and ought to incur +some punishment, yet nothing is more common, and our topping tradesmen, +who seem otherwise to stand mightily on their credit, make this but a +matter of course and custom. If I do not, says one, another will (for +the servant is sure to pick a hole in the person's coat who shall not pay +contribution). Thus this wicked practice is carried on and winked at, +while receiving of stolen goods, and confederating with felons, which is +not a jot worse, is so openly cried out against, and severely punished, +witness Jonathan Wild. + +And yet if a master or mistress inquire after anything missing, they must +be sure to place their words in due form, or madam huffs and flings about +at a strange rate, What, would you make a thief of her? Who would live +with such mistrustful folks? Thus you are obliged to hold your tongue, +and sit down quietly by your loss, for fear of offending your maid, +forsooth! + +Again, if your maid shall maintain one, two, or more persons from your +table, whether they are her poor relations, countryfolk, servants out of +place, shoe-cleaners, charwomen, porters, or any other of her menial +servants, who do her ladyship's drudgery and go of her errands, you must +not complain at your expense, or ask what has become of such a thing, or +such a thing; although it might never so reasonably be supposed that it +was altogether impossible to have so much expended in your family; but +hold your tongue for peace sake, or madam will say, You grudge her +victuals; and expose you to the last degree all over the neighbourhood. + +Thus have they a salve for every sore, cheat you to your face, and insult +you into the bargain; nor can you help yourself without exposing +yourself, or putting yourself into a passion. + +Another great abuse crept in among us, is the giving of veils to +servants; this was intended originally as an encouragement to such as +were willing and handy, but by custom and corruption it is now grown to +be a thorn in our sides, and, like other good things, abused, does more +harm than good; for now they make it a perquisite, a material part of +their wages, nor must their master give a supper, but the maid expects +the guests should pay for it, nay, sometimes through the nose. Thus have +they spirited people up to this unnecessary and burthensome piece of +generosity unknown to our forefathers, who only gave gifts to servants at +Christmas-tide, which custom is yet kept into the bargain; insomuch that +a maid shall have eight pounds per annum in a gentleman's or merchant's +family. And if her master is a man of free spirit, who receives much +company, she very often doubles her wages by her veils; thus having meat, +drink, washing, and lodging for her labour, she throws her whole income +upon her back, and by this means looks more like the mistress of the +family than the servant-wench. + +And now we have mentioned washing, I would ask some good housewifely +gentlewoman, if servant-maids wearing printed linens, cottons, and other +things of that nature, which require frequent washing, do not, by +enhancing the article of soap, add more to housekeeping than the +generality of people would imagine? And yet these wretches cry out +against great washes, when their own unnecessary dabs are very often the +occasion. + +But the greatest abuse of all is, that these creatures are become their +own lawgivers; nay, I think they are ours too, though nobody would +imagine that such a set of slatterns should bamboozle a whole nation; but +it is neither better nor worse, they hire themselves to you by their own +rule. + +That is, a month's wages, or a month's warning; if they don't like you +they will go away the next day, help yourself how you can; if you don't +like them, you must give them a month's wages to get rid of them. + +This custom of warning, as practised by our maid-servants, is now become +a great inconvenience to masters and mistresses. You must carry your +dish very upright, or miss, forsooth, gives you warning, and you are +either left destitute, or to seek for a servant; so that, generally +speaking, you are seldom or never fixed, but always at the mercy of every +new comer to divulge your family affairs, to inspect your private life, +and treasure up the sayings of yourself and friends. A very great +confinement, and much complained of in most families. + +Thus have these wenches, by their continual plotting and cabals, united +themselves into a formidable body, and got the whip hand of their +betters; they make their own terms with us; and two servants now, will +scarce undertake the work which one might perform with ease; +notwithstanding which, they have raised their wages to a most exorbitant +pitch; and, I doubt not, if there be not a stop put to their career, but +they will bring wages up to 201. per annum in time, for they are much +about half way already. + +It is by these means they run away with a great part of our money, which +might be better employed in trade, and what is worse, by their insolent +behaviour, their pride in dress, and their exorbitant wages, they give +birth to the following inconveniences. + +First, They set an ill example to our children, our apprentices, our +covenant servants, and other dependants, by their saucy and insolent +behaviour, their pert, and sometimes abusive answers, their daring +defiance of correction, and many other insolences which youth are but too +apt to imitate. + +Secondly, By their extravagance in dress, they put our wives and +daughters upon yet greater excesses, because they will, as indeed they +ought, go finer than the maid; thus the maid striving to outdo the +mistress, the tradesman's wife to outdo the gentleman's wife, the +gentleman's wife emulating the lady, and the ladies one another; it seems +as if the whole business of the female sex were nothing but an excess of +pride, and extravagance in dress. + +Thirdly, The great height to which women-servants have brought their +wages, makes a mutiny among the men-servants, and puts them upon raising +their wages too; so that in a little time our servants will become our +partners; nay, probably, run away with the better part of our profits, +and make servants of us _vice versa_. But yet with all these +inconveniences, we cannot possibly do without these creatures; let us +therefore cease to talk of the abuses arising from them, and begin to +think of redressing them. I do not set up for a lawgiver, and therefore +shall lay down no certain rules, humbly submitting in all things to the +wisdom of our legislature. What I offer shall be under correction; and +upon conjecture, my utmost ambition being but to give some hints to +remedy this growing evil, and leave the prosecution to abler hands. + +And first it would be necessary to settle and limit their wages, from +forty and fifty shillings to four and five pounds per annum, that is to +say, according to their merits and capacities; for example, a young +unexperienced servant should have forty shillings per annum, till she +qualifies herself for a larger sum; a servant who can do all household +work, or, as the good women term it, can take her work and leave her +work, should have four pounds per annum; and those who have lived seven +years in one service, should ever after demand five pounds per annum, for +I would very fain have some particular encouragements and privileges +given to such servants who should continue long in a place; it would +incite a desire to please, and cause an emulation very beneficial to the +public. + +I have heard of an ancient charity in the parish of St. Clement's Danes, +where a sum of money, or estate, is left, out of the interest or income +of which such maid-servants, who have lived in that parish seven years in +one service, receive a reward of ten pounds apiece, if they please to +demand it. + +This is a noble benefaction, and shows the public spirit of the donor; +but everybody's business is nobody's; nor have I heard that such reward +has been paid to any servant of late years. A thousand pities a gift of +that nature should sink into oblivion, and not be kept up as an example +to incite all parishes to do the like. + +The Romans had a law called _Jus Trium Liberorum_, by which every man who +had been a father of three children, had particular honours and +privileges. This incited the youth to quit a dissolute single life and +become fathers of families, to the support and glory of the empire. + +In imitation of this most excellent law, I would have such servants, who +should continue many years in one service, meet with singular esteem and +reward. + +The apparel of our women-servants should be next regulated, that we may +know the mistress from the maid. I remember I was once put very much to +the blush, being at a friend's house, and by him required to salute the +ladies, I kissed the chamber-jade into the bargain, for she was as well +dressed as the best. But I was soon undeceived by a general titter, +which gave me the utmost confusion; nor can I believe myself the only +person who has made such a mistake. + +Things of this nature would be easily avoided, if servant-maids were to +wear liveries, as our footmen do; or obliged to go in a dress suitable to +their station. What should ail them, but a jacket and petticoat of good +yard-wide stuff, or calimanco, might keep them decent and warm. + +Our charity children are distinguished by their dress, why then may not +our women-servants? why may they not be made frugal per force, and not +suffered to put all on their backs, but obliged to save something against +a rainy day? I am, therefore, entirely against servants wearing of +silks, laces, and other superfluous finery; it sets them above +themselves, and makes their mistresses contemptible in their eyes. I am +handsomer than my mistress, says a young prinked up baggage, what pity it +is I should be her servant, I go as well dressed, or better than she. +This makes the girl take the first offer to be made a whore, and there is +a good servant spoiled; whereas, were her dress suitable to her +condition, it would teach her humility, and put her in mind of her duty. + +Besides the fear of spoiling their clothes makes them afraid of household- +work; so that in a little time we shall have none but chambermaids and +nurserymaids; and of this let me give one instance; my family is composed +of myself and sister, a man and a maid; and, being without the last, a +young wench came to hire herself. The man was gone out, and my sister +above stairs, so I opened the door myself; and this person presented +herself to my view, dressed completely, more like a visitor than a +servant-maid; she, not knowing me, asked for my sister; pray, madam, said +I, be pleased to walk into the parlour, she shall wait on you presently. +Accordingly I handed madam in, who took it very cordially. After some +apology, I left her alone for a minute or two; while I, stupid wretch! +ran up to my sister, and told her there was a gentlewoman below come to +visit her. Dear brother, said she, don't leave her alone, go down and +entertain her while I dress myself. Accordingly, down I went, and talked +of indifferent affairs; meanwhile my sister dressed herself all over +again, not being willing to be seen in an undress. At last she came down +dressed as clean as her visitor; but how great was my surprise when I +found my fine lady a common servant-wench. + +My sister understanding what she was, began to inquire what wages she +expected? She modestly asked but eight pounds a year. The next question +was, what work she could do to deserve such wages? to which she answered, +she could clean a house, or dress a common family dinner. But cannot you +wash, replied my sister, or get up linen? she answered in the negative, +and said, she would undertake neither, nor would she go into a family +that did not put out their linen to wash, and hire a charwoman to scour. +She desired to see the house, and having carefully surveyed it, said, the +work was too hard for her, nor could she undertake it. This put my +sister beyond all patience, and me into the greatest admiration. Young +woman, said she, you have made a mistake, I want a housemaid, and you are +a chambermaid. No, madam, replied she, I am not needlewoman enough for +that. And yet you ask eight pounds a year, replied my sister. Yes, +madam, said she, nor shall I bate a farthing. Then get you gone for a +lazy impudent baggage, said I, you want to be a boarder not a servant; +have you a fortune or estate that you dress at that rate? No, sir, said +she, but I hope I may wear what I work for without offence. What you +work, interrupted my sister, why you do not seem willing to undertake any +work; you will not wash nor scour; you cannot dress a dinner for company; +you are no needlewoman; and our little house of two rooms on a floor, is +too much for you. For God's sake what can you do? Madam, replied she +pertly; I know my business; and do not fear a service; there are more +places than parish churches; if you wash at home, you should have a +laundrymaid; if you give entertainments, you must have a cookmaid; if you +have any needlework, you should have a chambermaid; and such a house as +this is enough for a housemaid in all conscience. + +I was pleased at the wit, and astonished at the impudence of the girl, so +dismissed her with thanks for her instructions, assuring her that when I +kept four maids she should be housemaid if she pleased. + +Were a servant to do my business with cheerfulness, I should not grudge +at five or six pounds per annum; nor would I be so unchristian to put +more upon any one than they can bear; but to pray and pay too is the +devil. It is very hard, that I must keep four servants or none. + +In great families, indeed, where many servants are required, those +distinctions of chambermaid, housemaid, cookmaid, laundrymaid, +nurserymaid, &c., are requisite, to the end that each may take her +particular business, and many hands may make the work light; but for a +private gentleman, of a small fortune, to be obliged to keep so many idle +jades, when one might do the business, is intolerable, and matter of +great grievance. + +I cannot close this discourse without a gentle admonition and reproof to +some of my own sex, I mean those gentlemen who give themselves +unnecessary airs, and cannot go to see a friend, but they must kiss and +slop the maid; and all this is done with an air of gallantry, and must +not be resented. Nay, some gentlemen are so silly, that they shall carry +on an underhand affair with their friend's servant-maid, to their own +disgrace, and the ruin of many a young creature. Nothing is more base +and ungenerous, yet nothing more common, and withal so little taken +notice of. D-n me, Jack, says one friend to another, this maid of yours +is a pretty girl, you do so and so to her, by G-d. This makes the +creature pert, vain, and impudent, and spoils many a good servant. + +What gentleman will descend to this low way of intrigue, when he shall +consider that he has a footboy or an apprentice for his rival, and that +he is seldom or never admitted, but when they have been his tasters; and +the fool of fortune, though he comes at the latter end of the feast, yet +pays the whole reckoning; and so indeed would I have all such silly +cullies served. + +If I must have an intrigue, let it be with a woman that shall not shame +me. I would never go into the kitchen, when the parlour door was open. +We are forbidden at Highgate, to kiss the maid when we may kiss the +mistress; why then will gentlemen descend so low, by too much familiarity +with these creatures, to bring themselves into contempt? + +I have been at places where the maid has been so dizzied with these idle +compliments that she has mistook one thing for another, and not regarded +her mistress in the least; but put on all the flirting airs imaginable. +This behaviour is nowhere so much complained of as in taverns, +coffeehouses, and places of public resort, where there are handsome bar- +keepers, &c. These creatures being puffed up with the fulsome flattery +of a set of flesh-flies, which are continually buzzing about them, carry +themselves with the utmost insolence imaginable; insomuch, that you must +speak to them with a great deal of deference, or you are sure to be +affronted. Being at a coffeehouse the other day, where one of these +ladies kept the bar, I had bespoke a dish of rice tea; but madam was so +taken up with her sparks, she had quite forgot it. I spake for it again, +and with some temper, but was answered after a most taunting manner, not +without a toss of the head, a contraction of the nostrils, and other +impertinences, too many to enumerate. Seeing myself thus publicly +insulted by such an animal, I could not choose but show my resentment. +Woman, said I, sternly, I want a dish of rice tea, and not what your +vanity and impudence may imagine; therefore treat me as a gentleman and a +customer, and serve me with what I call for: keep your impertinent +repartees and impudent behaviour for the coxcombs that swarm round your +bar, and make you so vain of your blown carcase. And indeed I believe +the insolence of this creature will ruin her master at last, by driving +away men of sobriety and business, and making the place a den of +vagabonds and rakehells. + +Gentlemen, therefore, ought to be very circumspect in their behaviour, +and not undervalue themselves to servant-wenches, who are but too apt to +treat a gentleman ill whenever he puts himself into their power. + +Let me now beg pardon for this digression, and return to my subject by +proposing some practicable methods for regulating of servants, which, +whether they are followed or not, yet, if they afford matter of +improvement and speculation, will answer the height of my expectation, +and I will be the first who shall approve of whatever improvements are +made from this small beginning. + +The first abuse I would have reformed is, that servants should be +restrained from throwing themselves out of place on every idle vagary. +This might be remedied were all contracts between master and servant made +before a justice of peace, or other proper officer, and a memorandum +thereof taken in writing. Nor should such servant leave his or her place +(for men and maids might come under the same regulation) till the time +agreed on be expired, unless such servant be misused or denied +necessaries, or show some other reasonable cause for their discharge. In +that case, the master or mistress should be reprimanded or fined. But if +servants misbehave themselves, or leave their places, not being regularly +discharged, they ought to be amerced or punished. But all those idle, +ridiculous customs, and laws of their own making, as a month's wages, or +a month's warning, and suchlike, should be entirely set aside and +abolished. + +When a servant has served the limited time duly and faithfully, they +should be entitled to a certificate, as is practised at present in the +wool-combing trade; nor should any person hire a servant without a +certificate or other proper security. A servant without a certificate +should be deemed a vagrant; and a master or mistress ought to assign very +good reasons indeed when they object against giving a servant his or her +certificate. + +And though, to avoid prolixity, I have not mentioned footmen particularly +in the foregoing discourse, yet the complaints alleged against the maids +are as well masculine as feminine, and very applicable to our gentlemen's +gentlemen; I would, therefore, have them under the very same regulations, +and, as they are fellow-servants, would not make fish of one and flesh of +the other, since daily experience teaches us, that "never a barrel the +better herring." + +The next great abuse among us is, that under the notion of cleaning our +shoes, above ten thousand wicked, idle, pilfering vagrants are permitted +to patrol about our city and suburbs. These are called the black-guard, +who black your honour's shoes, and incorporate themselves under the title +of the Worshipful Company of Japanners. + +Were this all, there were no hurt in it, and the whole might terminate in +a jest; but the mischief ends not here, they corrupt our youth, +especially our men-servants; oaths and impudence are their only flowers +of rhetoric; gaming and thieving are the principal parts of their +profession; japanning but the pretence. For example, a gentleman keeps a +servant, who among other things is to clean his master's shoes; but our +gentlemen's gentlemen are above it nowadays, and your man's man performs +the office, for which piece of service you pay double and treble, +especially if you keep a table, nay, you are well off if the japanner has +no more than his own diet from it. + +I have often observed these rascals sneaking from gentlemen's doors with +wallets or hats' full of good victuals, which they either carry to their +trulls, or sell for a trifle. By this means, our butcher's, our baker's, +our poulterer's, and cheesemonger's bills are monstrously exaggerated; +not to mention candles just lighted, which sell for fivepence a pound, +and many other perquisites best known to themselves and the pilfering +villains their confederates. + +Add to this, that their continual gaming sets servants upon their wits to +supply this extravagance, though at the same time the master's pocket +pays for it, and the time which should be spent in a gentleman's service +is loitered away among these rakehells, insomuch that half our messages +are ineffectual, the time intended being often expired before the message +is delivered. + +How many frequent robberies are committed by these japanners? And to how +many more are they confederates? Silver spoons, spurs, and other small +pieces of plate, are every day missing, and very often found upon these +sort of gentlemen; yet are they permitted, to the shame of all our good +laws, and the scandal of our most excellent government, to lurk about our +streets, to debauch our servants and apprentices, and support an infinite +number of scandalous, shameless trulls, yet more wicked than themselves, +for not a Jack among them but must have his Gill. + +By whom such indecencies are daily acted, even in our open streets, as +are very offensive to the eyes and ears of all sober persons, and even +abominable in a Christian country. + +In any riot, or other disturbance, these sparks are always the foremost; +for most among them can turn their hands to picking of pockets, to run +away with goods from a fire, or other public confusion, to snatch +anything from a woman or child, to strip a house when the door is open, +or any other branch of a thief's profession. + +In short, it is a nursery for thieves and villains; modest women are +every day insulted by them and their strumpets; and such children who run +about the streets, or those servants who go on errands, do but too +frequently bring home some scraps of their beastly profane wit; insomuch, +that the conversation of our lower rank of people runs only upon bawdy +and blasphemy, notwithstanding our societies for reformation, and our +laws in force against profaneness; for this lazy life gets them many +proselytes, their numbers daily increasing from runaway apprentices and +footboys, insomuch that it is a very hard matter for a gentleman to get +him a servant, or for a tradesman to find an apprentice. + +Innumerable other mischiefs accrue, and others will spring up from this +race of caterpillars, who must be swept from out our streets, or we shall +be overrun with all manner of wickedness. + +But the subject is so low, it becomes disagreeable even to myself; give +me leave, therefore, to propose a way to clear the streets of these +vermin, and to substitute as many honest industrious persons in their +stead, who are now starving for want of bread, while these execrable +villains live, though in rags and nastiness, yet in plenty and luxury. + +I, therefore, humbly propose that these vagabonds be put immediately +under the command of such taskmasters as the government shall appoint, +and that they be employed, punished, or rewarded, according to their +capacities and demerits; that is to say, the industrious and docible to +wool-combing, and other parts of the woollen manufacture, where hands are +wanted, as also to husbandry and other parts of agriculture. + +For it is evident that there are scarce hands enow in the country to +carry on either of these affairs. Now, these vagabonds might not only by +this means be kept out of harm's way, but be rendered serviceable to the +nation. Nor is there any need of transporting them beyond seas, for if +any are refractory they should be sent to our stannaries and other mines, +to our coal works and other places where hard labour is required. And +here I must offer one thing never yet thought of, or proposed by any, and +that is, the keeping in due repair the navigation of the river Thames, so +useful to our trade in general; and yet of late years such vast hills of +sand are gathered together in several parts of the river, as are very +prejudicial to its navigation, one which is near London Bridge, another +near Whitehall, a third near Battersea, and a fourth near Fulham. These +are of very great hindrance to the navigation; and indeed the removal of +them ought to be a national concern, which I humbly propose may be thus +effected. + +The rebellious part of these vagabonds, as also other thieves and +offenders, should be formed into bodies under the command of proper +officers, and under the guard and awe of our soldiery. These should +every day at low water carry away these sandhills, and remove every other +obstruction to the navigation of this most excellent and useful river. + +It may be objected that the ballast men might do this; that as fast as +the hills are taken away they would gather together again, or that the +watermen might do it. To the first, I answer, that ballast men, instead +of taking away from these hills, make holes in other places of the river, +which is the reason so many young persons are drowned when swimming or +bathing in the river. + +Besides, it is a work for many hands, and of long continuance; so that +ballast men do more harm than good. The second objection is as silly; as +if I should never wash myself, because I shall be dirty again, and I +think needs no other answer. And as to the third objection, the watermen +are not so public-spirited, they live only from hand to mouth, though not +one of them but finds the inconvenience of these hills, every day being +obliged to go a great way round about for fear of running aground; +insomuch that in a few years the navigation of that part of the river +will be entirely obstructed. Nevertheless, every one of these gentlemen- +watermen hopes it will last his time, and so they all cry, The devil take +the hindmost. But yet I judge it highly necessary that this be made a +national concern, like Dagenham breach, and that these hills be removed +by some means or other. + +And now I have mentioned watermen, give me leave to complain of the +insolences and exactions they daily commit on the river Thames, and in +particular this one instance, which cries aloud for justice. + +A young lady of distinction, in company with her brother, a little youth, +took a pair of oars at or near the Temple, on April day last, and ordered +the men to carry them to Pepper Alley Stairs. One of the fellows, +according to their usual impertinence, asked the lady where she was +going? She answered, near St. Olave's church. Upon which he said, she +had better go through the bridge. The lady replied she had never gone +through the bridge in her life, nor would she venture for a hundred +guineas; so commanded him once more to land her at Pepper Alley Stairs. +Notwithstanding which, in spite of her fears, threats, and commands; nay, +in spite of the persuasion of his fellow, he forced her through London +Bridge, which frightened her beyond expression. And to mend the matter, +he obliged her to pay double fare, and mobbed her into the bargain. + +To resent which abuse, application was made to the hall, the fellow +summoned, and the lady ordered to attend, which she did, waiting there +all the morning, and was appointed to call again in the afternoon. She +came accordingly, they told her the fellow had been there, but was gone, +and that she must attend another Friday. She attended again and again, +but to the same purpose. Nor have they yet produced the man, but tired +out the lady, who has spent above ten shillings in coach-hire, been +abused and baffled into the bargain. + +It is pity, therefore, there are not commissioners for watermen, as there +are for hackney coachmen; or that justices of the peace might not inflict +bodily penalties on watermen thus offending. But while watermen are +watermen's judges, I shall laugh at those who carry their complaints to +the hall. + +The usual plea in behalf of abusive watermen is, that they are drunk, +ignorant, or poor; but will that satisfy the party aggrieved, or deter +the offender from reoffending? Whereas were the offenders sent to the +house of correction, and there punished, or sentenced to work at the +sandhills aforementioned, for a time suitable to the nature of their +crimes, terror of such punishments would make them fearful of offending, +to the great quiet of the subject. + +Now, it maybe asked, How shall we have our shoes cleaned, or how are +these industrious poor to be maintained? To this I answer that the +places of these vagabonds may be very well supplied by great numbers of +ancient persons, poor widows, and others, who have not enough from their +respective parishes to maintain them. These poor people I would have +authorised and stationed by the justices of the peace or other +magistrates. Each of these should have a particular walk or stand, and +no other shoe-cleaner should come into that walk, unless the person +misbehave and be removed. Nor should any person clean shoes in the +streets, but these authorised shoe-cleaners, who should have some mark of +distinction, and be under the immediate government of the justices of the +peace. + +Thus would many thousands of poor people be provided for, without +burthening their parishes. Some of these may earn a shilling or two in +the day, and none less than sixpence, or thereabouts. And lest the old +japanners should appear again, in the shape of linkboys, and knock down +gentlemen in drink, or lead others out of the way into dark remote +places, where they either put out their lights, and rob them themselves, +or run away and leave them to be pillaged by others, as is daily +practised, I would have no person carry a link for hire but some of these +industrious poor, and even such, not without some ticket or badge, to let +people know whom they trust. Thus would the streets be cleared night and +day of these vermin; nor would oaths, skirmishes, blasphemy, obscene +talk, or other wicked examples, be so public and frequent. All gaming at +orange and gingerbread barrows should be abolished, as also all penny and +halfpenny lotteries, thimbles and balls, &c., so frequent in Moorfields, +Lincoln's-inn-fields, &c., where idle fellows resort, to play with +children and apprentices, and tempt them to steal their parents' or +master's money. + +There is one admirable custom in the city of London, which I could wish +were imitated in the city and liberties of Westminster, and bills of +mortality, which is, no porter can carry a burthen or letter in the city, +unless he be a ticket porter; whereas, out of the freedom part of London, +any person may take a knot and turn porter, till he be entrusted with +something of value, and then you never hear of him more. + +This is very common, and ought to be amended. I would, therefore, have +all porters under some such regulation as coachmen, chairmen, carmen, +&c.; a man may then know whom he entrusts, and not run the risk of losing +his goods, &c. Nay, I would not have a person carry a basket in the +markets, who is not subject to some such regulation; for very many +persons oftentimes lose their dinners in sending their meat home by +persons they know nothing of. + +Thus would all our poor be stationed, and a man or woman able to perform +any of these offices, must either comply or be termed an idle vagrant, +and sent to a place where they shall be forced to work. By this means +industry will be encouraged, idleness punished, and we shall be famed, as +well as happy for our tranquillity and decorum. + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK EVERYBODY'S BUSINESS IS NOBODY'S +BUSINESS*** + + +******* This file should be named 2052.txt or 2052.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/0/5/2052 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. 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FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.04.29.93*END* + + + + + +Project Gutenberg Etext Everybody's Business is Nobody's Business +******This file should be named ebdyb10.txt or ebdyb10.zip****** + + + + + +EVERYBODY'S BUSINESS IS NOBODY'S BUSINESS +or, +PRIVATE ABUSES, PUBLIC GRIEVANCES: +EXEMPLIFIED +In the Pride, Insolence, and exorbitant Wages of our Women, +Servants, Footmen, &c. + +by Daniel Defoe + + + + +WITH + +A Proposal for Amendment of the same; as also for clearing the +Streets of those Vermin called Shoe-Cleaners, and substituting in +their stead many Thousands of industrious Poor, now ready to +starve. With divers other Hints of great Use to the Public. + +Humbly submitted the Consideration of our Legislature, and the +careful Perusal of all Masters and Mistresses of Families. + +BY ANDREW MORETON, Esq. + +The Fifth Edition, with the Addition of a Preface. + + + + +THE PREFACE + + + +Since this little book appeared in print, it has had no less than +three answers, and fresh attacks are daily expected from the powers +of Grub-street; but should threescore antagonists more arise, +unless they say more to the purpose than the forementioned, they +shall not tempt me to reply. + +Nor shall I engage in a paper war, but leave my book to answer for +itself, having advanced nothing therein but evident truths, and +incontestible matters of fact. + +The general objection is against my style; I do not set up for an +author, but write only to be understood, no matter how plain. + +As my intentions are good, so have they had the good fortune to +meet with approbation from the sober and substantial part of +mankind; as for the vicious and vagabond, their ill-will is my +ambition. + +It is with uncommon satisfaction I see the magistracy begin to put +the laws against vagabonds in force with the utmost vigour, a great +many of those vermin, the japanners, having lately been taken up +and sent to the several work-houses in and about this city; and +indeed high time, for they grow every day more and more pernicious. + +My project for putting watchmen under commissioners, will, I hope, +be put in practice; for it is scarce safe to go by water unless you +know your man. + +As for the maid-servants, if I undervalue myself to take notice of +them, as they are pleased to say, it is because they overvalue +themselves so much they ought to be taken notice of. + +This makes the guilty take my subject by the wrong end, but any +impartial reader may find, I write not against servants, but bad +servants; not against wages, but exorbitant wages, and am entirely +of the poet's opinion, + + +The good should meet with favour and applause, +The wicked be restrain'd by wholesome laws. + + +The reason why I did not publish this book till the end of the last +sessions of parliament was, because I did not care to interfere +with more momentous affairs; but leave it to the consideration of +that august body during this recess, against the next sessions, +when I shall exhibit another complaint against a growing abuse, for +which I doubt not but to receive their approbation and the thanks +of all honest men. + + + + +EVERYBODY'S BUSINESS IS NOBODY'S BUSINESS + +by Daniel Defoe + + + + +This is a proverb so common in everybody's mouth, that I wonder +nobody has yet thought it worth while to draw proper inferences +from it, and expose those little abuses, which, though they seem +trifling, and as it were scarce worth consideration, yet, by +insensible degrees, they may become of injurious consequence to the +public; like some diseases, whose first symptoms are only trifling +disorders, but by continuance and progression, their last periods +terminate in the destruction of the whole human fabric. + +In contradiction therefore to this general rule, and out of sincere +love and well meaning to the public, give me leave to enumerate the +abuses insensibly crept in among us, and the inconveniences daily +arising from the insolence and intrigues of our servant-wenches, +who, by their caballing together, have made their party so +considerable, that everybody cries out against them; and yet, to +verify the proverb, nobody has thought of, or at least proposed a +remedy, although such an undertaking, mean as it seems to be, I +hope will one day be thought worthy the consideration of our king, +lords, and commons. + +Women servants are now so scarce, that from thirty and forty +shillings a year, their wages are increased of late to six, seven, +nay, eight pounds per annum, and upwards; insomuch that an ordinary +tradesman cannot well keep one; but his wife, who might be useful +in his shop or business, must do the drudgery of household affairs; +and all this because our servant-wenches are so puffed up with +pride nowadays, that they never think they go fine enough: it is a +hard matter to know the mistress from the maid by their dress; nay, +very often the maid shall be much the finer of the two. Our +woollen manufacture suffers much by this, for nothing but silks and +satins will go down with our kitchen-wenches; to support which +intolerable pride, they have insensibly raised their wages to such +a height as was never known in any age or nation but this. + +Let us trace this from the beginning, and suppose a person has a +servant-maid sent him out of the country, at fifty shillings, or +three pounds a year. The girl has scarce been a week, nay, a day +in her service, but a committee of servant-wenches are appointed to +examine her, who advise her to raise her wages, or give warning; to +encourage her to which, the herb-woman, or chandler-woman, or some +other old intelligencer, provides her a place of four or five +pounds a year; this sets madam cock-a-hoop, and she thinks of +nothing now but vails and high wages, and so gives warning from +place to place, till she has got her wages up to the tip-top. + +Her neat's leathern shoes are now transformed into laced ones with +high heels; her yarn stockings are turned into fine woollen ones, +with silk clocks; and her high wooden pattens are kicked away for +leathern clogs; she must have a hoop too, as well as her mistress; +and her poor scanty linsey-woolsey petticoat is changed into a good +silk one, for four or five yards wide at the least. Not to carry +the description farther, in short, plain country Joan is now turned +into a fine London madam, can drink tea, take snuff, and carry +herself as high as the best. + +If she be tolerably handsome, and has any share of cunning, the +apprentice or her master's son is enticed away and ruined by her. +Thus many good families are impoverished and disgraced by these +pert sluts, who, taking the advantage of a young man's simplicity +and unruly desires, draw many heedless youths, nay, some of good +estates, into their snares; and of this we have but too many +instances. + +Some more artful shall conceal their condition, and palm themselves +off on young fellows for gentlewomen and great fortunes. How many +families have been ruined by these ladies? when the father or +master of the family, preferring the flirting airs of a young +prinked up strumpet, to the artless sincerity of a plain, grave, +and good wife, has given his desires aloose, and destroyed soul, +body, family, and estate. But they are very favourable if they +wheedle nobody into matrimony, but only make a present of a small +live creature, no bigger than a bastard, to some of the family, no +matter who gets it; when a child is born it must be kept. + +Our sessions' papers of late are crowded with instances of servant- +maids robbing their places, this can be only attributed to their +devilish pride; for their whole inquiry nowadays is, how little +they shall do, how much they shall have. + +But all this while they make so little reserve, that if they fall +sick the parish must keep them, if they are out of place, they must +prostitute their bodies, or starve; so that from clopping and +changing, they generally proceed to whoring and thieving, and this +is the reason why our streets swarm with strumpets. + +Thus many of them rove from place to place, from bawdy-house to +service, and from service to bawdy-house again, ever unsettled and +never easy, nothing being more common than to find these creatures +one week in a good family, and the next in a brothel. This +amphibious life makes them fit for neither, for if the bawd uses +them ill, away they trip to service, and if the mistress gives them +a wry word, whip they are at a bawdy-house again, so that in effect +they neither make good whores nor good servants. + +Those who are not thus slippery in the tail, are light of finger; +and of these the most pernicious are those who beggar you inchmeal. +If a maid is a downright thief she strips you, it once, and you +know your loss; but these retail pilferers waste you insensibly, +and though you hardly miss it, yet your substance shall decay to +such a degree, that you must have a very good bottom indeed not to +feel the ill effects of such moths in your family. + +Tea, sugar, wine, &c., or any such trifling commodities, are +reckoned no thefts, if they do not directly take your pewter from +your shelf, or your linen from your drawers, they are very honest: +What harm is there, say they, in cribbing a little matter for a +junket, a merry bout or so? Nay, there are those that when they +are sent to market for one joint of meat, shall take up two on +their master's account, and leave one by the way, for some of these +maids are mighty charitable, and can make a shift to maintain a +small family with what they can purloin from their masters and +mistresses. + +If you send them with ready money, they turn factors, and take +threepence or fourpence in the shilling brokerage. And here let me +take notice of one very heinous abuse, not to say petty felony, +which is practised in most of the great families about town, which +is, when the tradesman gives the house-keeper or other commanding +servant a penny or twopence in the shilling, or so much in the +pound, for everything they send in, and which, from thence, is +called poundage. + +This, in my opinion, is the greatest of villanies, and ought to +incur some punishment, yet nothing is more common, and our topping +tradesmen, who seem otherwise to stand mightily on their credit, +make this but a matter of course and custom. If I do not, says +one, another will (for the servant is sure to pick a hole in the +person's coat who shall not pay contribution). Thus this wicked +practice is carried on and winked at, while receiving of stolen +goods, and confederating with felons, which is not a jot worse, is +so openly cried out against, and severely punished, witness +Jonathan Wild. + +And yet if a master or mistress inquire after anything missing, +they must be sure to place their words in due form, or madam huffs +and flings about at a strange rate, What, would you make a thief of +her? Who would live with such mistrustful folks? Thus you are +obliged to hold your tongue, and sit down quietly by your loss, for +fear of offending your maid, forsooth! + +Again, if your maid shall maintain one, two, or more persons from +your table, whether they are her poor relations, countryfolk, +servants out of place, shoe-cleaners, charwomen, porters, or any +other of her menial servants, who do her ladyship's drudgery and go +of her errands, you must not complain at your expense, or ask what +has become of such a thing, or such a thing; although it might +never so reasonably be supposed that it was altogether impossible +to have so much expended in your family; but hold your tongue for +peace sake, or madam will say, You grudge her victuals; and expose +you to the last degree all over the neighbourhood. + +Thus have they a salve for every sore, cheat you to your face, and +insult you into the bargain; nor can you help yourself without +exposing yourself, or putting yourself into a passion. + +Another great abuse crept in among us, is the giving of veils to +servants; this was intended originally as an encouragement to such +as were willing and handy, but by custom and corruption it is now +grown to be a thorn in our sides, and, like other good things, +abused, does more harm than good; for now they make it a +perquisite, a material part of their wages, nor must their master +give a supper, but the maid expects the guests should pay for it, +nay, sometimes through the nose. Thus have they spirited people up +to this unnecessary and burthensome piece of generosity unknown to +our forefathers, who only gave gifts to servants at Christmas-tide, +which custom is yet kept into the bargain; insomuch that a maid +shall have eight pounds per annum in a gentleman's or merchant's +family. And if her master is a man of free spirit, who receives +much company, she very often doubles her wages by her veils; thus +having meat, drink, washing, and lodging for her labour, she throws +her whole income upon her back, and by this means looks more like +the mistress of the family than the servant-wench. + +And now we have mentioned washing, I would ask some good +housewifely gentlewoman, if servant-maids wearing printed linens, +cottons, and other things of that nature, which require frequent +washing, do not, by enhancing the article of soap, add more to +housekeeping than the generality of people would imagine? And yet +these wretches cry out against great washes, when their own +unnecessary dabs are very often the occasion. + +But the greatest abuse of all is, that these creatures are become +their own lawgivers; nay, I think they are ours too, though nobody +would imagine that such a set of slatterns should bamboozle a whole +nation; but it is neither better nor worse, they hire themselves to +you by their own rule. + +That is, a month's wages, or a month's warning; if they don't like +you they will go away the next day, help yourself how you can; if +you don't like them, you must give them a month's wages to get rid +of them. + +This custom of warning, as practised by our maid-servants, is now +become a great inconvenience to masters and mistresses. You must +carry your dish very upright, or miss, forsooth, gives you warning, +and you are either left destitute, or to seek for a servant; so +that, generally speaking, you are seldom or never fixed, but always +at the mercy of every new comer to divulge your family affairs, to +inspect your private life, and treasure up the sayings of yourself +and friends. A very great confinement, and much complained of in +most families. + +Thus have these wenches, by their continual plotting and cabals, +united themselves into a formidable body, and got the whip hand of +their betters; they make their own terms with us; and two servants +now, will scarce undertake the work which one might perform with +ease; notwithstanding which, they have raised their wages to a most +exorbitant pitch; and, I doubt not, if there be not a stop put to +their career, but they will bring wages up to 201. per annum in +time, for they are much about half way already. + +It is by these means they run away with a great part of our money, +which might be better employed in trade, and what is worse, by +their insolent behaviour, their pride in dress, and their +exorbitant wages, they give birth to the following inconveniences. + +First, They set an ill example to our children, our apprentices, +our covenant servants, and other dependants, by their saucy and +insolent behaviour, their pert, and sometimes abusive answers, +their daring defiance of correction, and many other insolences +which youth are but too apt to imitate. + +Secondly, By their extravagance in dress, they put our wives and +daughters upon yet greater excesses, because they will, as indeed +they ought, go finer than the maid; thus the maid striving to outdo +the mistress, the tradesman's wife to outdo the gentleman's wife, +the gentleman's wife emulating the lady, and the ladies one +another; it seems as if the whole business of the female sex were +nothing but an excess of pride, and extravagance in dress. + +Thirdly, The great height to which women-servants have brought +their wages, makes a mutiny among the men-servants, and puts them +upon raising their wages too; so that in a little time our servants +will become our partners; nay, probably, run away with the better +part of our profits, and make servants of us vice versa. But yet +with all these inconveniences, we cannot possibly do without these +creatures; let us therefore cease to talk of the abuses arising +from them, and begin to think of redressing them. I do not set up +for a lawgiver, and therefore shall lay down no certain rules, +humbly submitting in all things to the wisdom of our legislature. +What I offer shall be under correction; and upon conjecture, my +utmost ambition being but to give some hints to remedy this growing +evil, and leave the prosecution to abler hands. + +And first it would be necessary to settle and limit their wages, +from forty and fifty shillings to four and five pounds per annum, +that is to say, according to their merits and capacities; for +example, a young unexperienced servant should have forty shillings +per annum, till she qualifies herself for a larger sum; a servant +who can do all household work, or, as the good women term it, can +take her work and leave her work, should have four pounds per +annum; and those who have lived seven years in one service, should +ever after demand five pounds per annum, for I would very fain have +some particular encouragements and privileges given to such +servants who should continue long in a place; it would incite a +desire to please, and cause an emulation very beneficial to the +public. + +I have heard of an ancient charity in the parish of St. Clement's +Danes, where a sum of money, or estate, is left, out of the +interest or income of which such maid-servants, who have lived in +that parish seven years in one service, receive a reward of ten +pounds apiece, if they please to demand it. + +This is a noble benefaction, and shows the public spirit of the +donor; but everybody's business is nobody's; nor have I heard that +such reward has been paid to any servant of late years. A thousand +pities a gift of that nature should sink into oblivion, and not be +kept up as an example to incite all parishes to do the like. + +The Romans had a law called Jus Trium Liberorum, by which every man +who had been a father of three children, had particular honours and +privileges. This incited the youth to quit a dissolute single life +and become fathers of families, to the support and glory of the +empire. + +In imitation of this most excellent law, I would have such +servants, who should continue many years in one service, meet with +singular esteem and reward. + +The apparel of our women-servants should be next regulated, that we +may know the mistress from the maid. I remember I was once put +very much to the blush, being at a friend's house, and by him +required to salute the ladies, I kissed the chamber-jade into the +bargain, for she was as well dressed as the best. But I was soon +undeceived by a general titter, which gave me the utmost confusion; +nor can I believe myself the only person who has made such a +mistake. + +Things of this nature would be easily avoided, if servant-maids +were to wear liveries, as our footmen do; or obliged to go in a +dress suitable to their station. What should ail them, but a +jacket and petticoat of good yard-wide stuff, or calimanco, might +keep them decent and warm. + +Our charity children are distinguished by their dress, why then may +not our women-servants? why may they not be made frugal per force, +and not suffered to put all on their backs, but obliged to save +something against a rainy day? I am, therefore, entirely against +servants wearing of silks, laces, and other superfluous finery; it +sets them above themselves, and makes their mistresses contemptible +in their eyes. I am handsomer than my mistress, says a young +prinked up baggage, what pity it is I should be her servant, I go +as well dressed, or better than she. This makes the girl take the +first offer to be made a whore, and there is a good servant +spoiled; whereas, were her dress suitable to her condition, it +would teach her humility, and put her in mind of her duty. + +Besides the fear of spoiling their clothes makes them afraid of +household-work; so that in a little time we shall have none but +chambermaids and nurserymaids; and of this let me give one +instance; my family is composed of myself and sister, a man and a +maid; and, being without the last, a young wench came to hire +herself. The man was gone out, and my sister above stairs, so I +opened the door myself; and this person presented herself to my +view, dressed completely, more like a visitor than a servant-maid; +she, not knowing me, asked for my sister; pray, madam, said I, be +pleased to walk into the parlour, she shall wait on you presently. +Accordingly I handed madam in, who took it very cordially. After +some apology, I left her alone for a minute or two; while I, stupid +wretch! ran up to my sister, and told her there was a gentlewoman +below come to visit her. Dear brother, said she, don't leave her +alone, go down and entertain her while I dress myself. +Accordingly, down I went, and talked of indifferent affairs; +meanwhile my sister dressed herself all over again, not being +willing to be seen in an undress. At last she came down dressed as +clean as her visitor; but how great was my surprise when I found my +fine lady a common servant-wench. + +My sister understanding what she was, began to inquire what wages +she expected? She modestly asked but eight pounds a year. The +next question was, what work she could do to deserve such wages? to +which she answered, she could clean a house, or dress a common +family dinner. But cannot you wash, replied my sister, or get up +linen? she answered in the negative, and said, she would undertake +neither, nor would she go into a family that did not put out their +linen to wash, and hire a charwoman to scour. She desired to see +the house, and having carefully surveyed it, said, the work was too +hard for her, nor could she undertake it. This put my sister +beyond all patience, and me into the greatest admiration. Young +woman, said she, you have made a mistake, I want a housemaid, and +you are a chambermaid. No, madam, replied she, I am not +needlewoman enough for that. And yet you ask eight pounds a year, +replied my sister. Yes, madam, said she, nor shall I bate a +farthing. Then get you gone for a lazy impudent baggage, said I, +you want to be a boarder not a servant; have you a fortune or +estate that you dress at that rate? No, sir, said she, but I hope +I may wear what I work for without offence. What you work, +interrupted my sister, why you do not seem willing to undertake any +work; you will not wash nor scour; you cannot dress a dinner for +company; you are no needlewoman; and our little house of two rooms +on a floor, is too much for you. For God's sake what can you do? +Madam, replied she pertly; I know my business; and do not fear a +service; there are more places than parish churches; if you wash at +home, you should have a laundrymaid; if you give entertainments, +you must have a cookmaid; if you have any needlework, you should +have a chambermaid; and such a house as this is enough for a +housemaid in all conscience. + +I was pleased at the wit, and astonished at the impudence of the +girl, so dismissed her with thanks for her instructions, assuring +her that when I kept four maids she should be housemaid if she +pleased. + +Were a servant to do my business with cheerfulness, I should not +grudge at five or six pounds per annum; nor would I be so +unchristian to put more upon any one than they can bear; but to +pray and pay too is the devil. It is very hard, that I must keep +four servants or none. + +In great families, indeed, where many servants are required, those +distinctions of chambermaid, housemaid, cookmaid, laundrymaid, +nurserymaid, &c., are requisite, to the end that each may take her +particular business, and many hands may make the work light; but +for a private gentleman, of a small fortune, to be obliged to keep +so many idle jades, when one might do the business, is intolerable, +and matter of great grievance. + +I cannot close this discourse without a gentle admonition and +reproof to some of my own sex, I mean those gentlemen who give +themselves unnecessary airs, and cannot go to see a friend, but +they must kiss and slop the maid; and all this is done with an air +of gallantry, and must not be resented. Nay, some gentlemen are so +silly, that they shall carry on an underhand affair with their +friend's servant-maid, to their own disgrace, and the ruin of many +a young creature. Nothing is more base and ungenerous, yet nothing +more common, and withal so little taken notice of. D-n me, Jack, +says one friend to another, this maid of yours is a pretty girl, +you do so and so to her, by G-d. This makes the creature pert, +vain, and impudent, and spoils many a good servant. + +What gentleman will descend to this low way of intrigue, when he +shall consider that he has a footboy or an apprentice for his +rival, and that he is seldom or never admitted, but when they have +been his tasters; and the fool of fortune, though he comes at the +latter end of the feast, yet pays the whole reckoning; and so +indeed would I have all such silly cullies served. + +If I must have an intrigue, let it be with a woman that shall not +shame me. I would never go into the kitchen, when the parlour door +was open. We are forbidden at Highgate, to kiss the maid when we +may kiss the mistress; why then will gentlemen descend so low, by +too much familiarity with these creatures, to bring themselves into +contempt? + +I have been at places where the maid has been so dizzied with these +idle compliments that she has mistook one thing for another, and +not regarded her mistress in the least; but put on all the flirting +airs imaginable. This behaviour is nowhere so much complained of +as in taverns, coffeehouses, and places of public resort, where +there are handsome bar-keepers, &c. These creatures being puffed +up with the fulsome flattery of a set of flesh-flies, which are +continually buzzing about them, carry themselves with the utmost +insolence imaginable; insomuch, that you must speak to them with a +great deal of deference, or you are sure to be affronted. Being at +a coffeehouse the other day, where one of these ladies kept the +bar, I had bespoke a dish of rice tea; but madam was so taken up +with her sparks, she had quite forgot it. I spake for it again, +and with some temper, but was answered after a most taunting +manner, not without a toss of the head, a contraction of the +nostrils, and other impertinences, too many to enumerate. Seeing +myself thus publicly insulted by such an animal, I could not choose +but show my resentment. Woman, said I, sternly, I want a dish of +rice tea, and not what your vanity and impudence may imagine; +therefore treat me as a gentleman and a customer, and serve me with +what I call for: keep your impertinent repartees and impudent +behaviour for the coxcombs that swarm round your bar, and make you +so vain of your blown carcase. And indeed I believe the insolence +of this creature will ruin her master at last, by driving away men +of sobriety and business, and making the place a den of vagabonds +and rakehells. + +Gentlemen, therefore, ought to be very circumspect in their +behaviour, and not undervalue themselves to servant-wenches, who +are but too apt to treat a gentleman ill whenever he puts himself +into their power. + +Let me now beg pardon for this digression, and return to my subject +by proposing some practicable methods for regulating of servants, +which, whether they are followed or not, yet, if they afford matter +of improvement and speculation, will answer the height of my +expectation, and I will be the first who shall approve of whatever +improvements are made from this small beginning. + +The first abuse I would have reformed is, that servants should be +restrained from throwing themselves out of place on every idle +vagary. This might be remedied were all contracts between master +and servant made before a justice of peace, or other proper +officer, and a memorandum thereof taken in writing. Nor should +such servant leave his or her place (for men and maids might come +under the same regulation) till the time agreed on be expired, +unless such servant be misused or denied necessaries, or show some +other reasonable cause for their discharge. In that case, the +master or mistress should be reprimanded or fined. But if servants +misbehave themselves, or leave their places, not being regularly +discharged, they ought to be amerced or punished. But all those +idle, ridiculous customs, and laws of their own making, as a +month's wages, or a month's warning, and suchlike, should be +entirely set aside and abolished. + +When a servant has served the limited time duly and faithfully, +they should be entitled to a certificate, as is practised at +present in the wool-combing trade; nor should any person hire a +servant without a certificate or other proper security. A servant +without a certificate should be deemed a vagrant; and a master or +mistress ought to assign very good reasons indeed when they object +against giving a servant his or her certificate. + +And though, to avoid prolixity, I have not mentioned footmen +particularly in the foregoing discourse, yet the complaints alleged +against the maids are as well masculine as feminine, and very +applicable to our gentlemen's gentlemen; I would, therefore, have +them under the very same regulations, and, as they are fellow- +servants, would not make fish of one and flesh of the other, since +daily experience teaches us, that "never a barrel the better +herring." + +The next great abuse among us is, that under the notion of cleaning +our shoes, above ten thousand wicked, idle, pilfering vagrants are +permitted to patrol about our city and suburbs. These are called +the black-guard, who black your honour's shoes, and incorporate +themselves under the title of the Worshipful Company of Japanners. + +Were this all, there were no hurt in it, and the whole might +terminate in a jest; but the mischief ends not here, they corrupt +our youth, especially our men-servants; oaths and impudence are +their only flowers of rhetoric; gaming and thieving are the +principal parts of their profession; japanning but the pretence. +For example, a gentleman keeps a servant, who among other things is +to clean his master's shoes; but our gentlemen's gentlemen are +above it nowadays, and your man's man performs the office, for +which piece of service you pay double and treble, especially if you +keep a table, nay, you are well off if the japanner has no more +than his own diet from it. + +I have often observed these rascals sneaking from gentlemen's doors +with wallets or hats' full of good victuals, which they either +carry to their trulls, or sell for a trifle. By this means, our +butcher's, our baker's, our poulterer's, and cheesemonger's bills +are monstrously exaggerated; not to mention candles just lighted, +which sell for fivepence a pound, and many other perquisites best +known to themselves and the pilfering villains their confederates. + +Add to this, that their continual gaming sets servants upon their +wits to supply this extravagance, though at the same time the +master's pocket pays for it, and the time which should be spent in +a gentleman's service is loitered away among these rakehells, +insomuch that half our messages are ineffectual, the time intended +being often expired before the message is delivered. + +How many frequent robberies are committed by these japanners? And +to how many more are they confederates? Silver spoons, spurs, and +other small pieces of plate, are every day missing, and very often +found upon these sort of gentlemen; yet are they permitted, to the +shame of all our good laws, and the scandal of our most excellent +government, to lurk about our streets, to debauch our servants and +apprentices, and support an infinite number of scandalous, +shameless trulls, yet more wicked than themselves, for not a Jack +among them but must have his Gill. + +By whom such indecencies are daily acted, even in our open streets, +as are very offensive to the eyes and ears of all sober persons, +and even abominable in a Christian country. + +In any riot, or other disturbance, these sparks are always the +foremost; for most among them can turn their hands to picking of +pockets, to run away with goods from a fire, or other public +confusion, to snatch anything from a woman or child, to strip a +house when the door is open, or any other branch of a thief's +profession. + +In short, it is a nursery for thieves and villains; modest women +are every day insulted by them and their strumpets; and such +children who run about the streets, or those servants who go on +errands, do but too frequently bring home some scraps of their +beastly profane wit; insomuch, that the conversation of our lower +rank of people runs only upon bawdy and blasphemy, notwithstanding +our societies for reformation, and our laws in force against +profaneness; for this lazy life gets them many proselytes, their +numbers daily increasing from runaway apprentices and footboys, +insomuch that it is a very hard matter for a gentleman to get him a +servant, or for a tradesman to find an apprentice. + +Innumerable other mischiefs accrue, and others will spring up from +this race of caterpillars, who must be swept from out our streets, +or we shall be overrun with all manner of wickedness. + +But the subject is so low, it becomes disagreeable even to myself; +give me leave, therefore, to propose a way to clear the streets of +these vermin, and to substitute as many honest industrious persons +in their stead, who are now starving for want of bread, while these +execrable villains live, though in rags and nastiness, yet in +plenty and luxury. + +I, therefore, humbly propose that these vagabonds be put +immediately under the command of such taskmasters as the government +shall appoint, and that they be employed, punished, or rewarded, +according to their capacities and demerits; that is to say, the +industrious and docible to woolcombing, and other parts of the +woollen manufacture, where hands are wanted, as also to husbandry +and other parts of agriculture. + +For it is evident that there are scarce hands enow in the country +to carry on either of these affairs. Now, these vagabonds might +not only by this means be kept out of harm's way, but be rendered +serviceable to the nation. Nor is there any need of transporting +them beyond seas, for if any are refractory they should be sent to +our stannaries and other mines, to our coal works and other places +where hard labour is required. And here I must offer one thing +never yet thought of, or proposed by any, and that is, the keeping +in due repair the navigation of the river Thames, so useful to our +trade in general; and yet of late years such vast hills of sand are +gathered together in several parts of the river, as are very +prejudicial to its navigation, one which is near London Bridge, +another near Whitehall, a third near Battersea, and a fourth near +Fulham. These are of very great hindrance to the navigation; and +indeed the removal of them ought to be a national concern, which I +humbly propose may be thus effected. + +The rebellious part of these vagabonds, as also other thieves and +offenders, should be formed into bodies under the command of proper +officers, and under the guard and awe of our soldiery. These +should every day at low water carry away these sandhills, and +remove every other obstruction to the navigation of this most +excellent and useful river. + +It may be objected that the ballast men might do this; that as fast +as the hills are taken away they would gather together again, or +that the watermen might do it. To the first, I answer, that +ballast men, instead of taking away from these hills, make holes in +other places of the river, which is the reason so many young +persons are drowned when swimming or bathing in the river. + +Besides, it is a work for many hands, and of long continuance; so +that ballast men do more harm than good. The second objection is +as silly; as if I should never wash myself, because I shall be +dirty again, and I think needs no other answer. And as to the +third objection, the watermen are not so public-spirited, they live +only from hand to mouth, though not one of them but finds the +inconvenience of these hills, every day being obliged to go a great +way round about for fear of running aground; insomuch that in a few +years the navigation of that part of the river will be entirely +obstructed. Nevertheless, every one of these gentlemen-watermen +hopes it will last his time, and so they all cry, The devil take +the hindmost. But yet I judge it highly necessary that this be +made a national concern, like Dagenham breach, and that these hills +be removed by some means or other. + +And now I have mentioned watermen, give me leave to complain of the +insolences and exactions they daily commit on the river Thames, and +in particular this one instance, which cries aloud for justice. + +A young lady of distinction, in company with her brother, a little +youth, took a pair of oars at or near the Temple, on April day +last, and ordered the men to carry them to Pepper Alley Stairs. +One of the fellows, according to their usual impertinence, asked +the lady where she was going? She answered, near St. Olave's +church. Upon which he said, she had better go through the bridge. +The lady replied she had never gone through the bridge in her life, +nor would she venture for a hundred guineas; so commanded him once +more to land her at Pepper Alley Stairs. Notwithstanding which, in +spite of her fears, threats, and commands; nay, in spite of the +persuasion of his fellow, he forced her through London Bridge, +which frightened her beyond expression. And to mend the matter, he +obliged her to pay double fare, and mobbed her into the bargain. + +To resent which abuse, application was made to the hall, the fellow +summoned, and the lady ordered to attend, which she did, waiting +there all the morning, and was appointed to call again in the +afternoon. She came accordingly, they told her the fellow had been +there, but was gone, and that she must attend another Friday. She +attended again and again, but to the same purpose. Nor have they +yet produced the man, but tired out the lady, who has spent above +ten shillings in coach-hire, been abused and baffled into the +bargain. + +It is pity, therefore, there are not commissioners for watermen, as +there are for hackney coachmen; or that justices of the peace might +not inflict bodily penalties on watermen thus offending. But while +watermen are watermen's judges, I shall laugh at those who carry +their complaints to the hall. + +The usual plea in behalf of abusive watermen is, that they are +drunk, ignorant, or poor; but will that satisfy the party +aggrieved, or deter the offender from reoffending? Whereas were +the offenders sent to the house of correction, and there punished, +or sentenced to work at the sandhills aforementioned, for a time +suitable to the nature of their crimes, terror of such punishments +would make them fearful of offending, to the great quiet of the +subject. + +Now, it maybe asked, How shall we have our shoes cleaned, or how +are these industrious poor to be maintained? To this I answer that +the places of these vagabonds may be very well supplied by great +numbers of ancient persons, poor widows, and others, who have not +enough from their respective parishes to maintain them. These poor +people I would have authorised and stationed by the justices of the +peace or other magistrates. Each of these should have a particular +walk or stand, and no other shoe-cleaner should come into that +walk, unless the person misbehave and be removed. Nor should any +person clean shoes in the streets, but these authorised shoe- +cleaners, who should have some mark of distinction, and be under +the immediate government of the justices of the peace. + +Thus would many thousands of poor people be provided for, without +burthening their parishes. Some of these may earn a shilling or +two in the day, and none less than sixpence, or thereabouts. And +lest the old japanners should appear again, in the shape of +linkboys, and knock down gentlemen in drink, or lead others out of +the way into dark remote places, where they either put out their +lights, and rob them themselves, or run away and leave them to be +pillaged by others, as is daily practised, I would have no person +carry a link for hire but some of these industrious poor, and even +such, not without some ticket or badge, to let people know whom +they trust. Thus would the streets be cleared night and day of +these vermin; nor would oaths, skirmishes, blasphemy, obscene talk, +or other wicked examples, be so public and frequent. All gaming at +orange and gingerbread barrows should be abolished, as also all +penny and halfpenny lotteries, thimbles and balls, &c., so frequent +in Moorfields, Lincoln's-inn-fields, &c., where idle fellows +resort, to play with children and apprentices, and tempt them to +steal their parents' or master's money. + +There is one admirable custom in the city of London, which I could +wish were imitated in the city and liberties of Westminster, and +bills of mortality, which is, no porter can carry a burthen or +letter in the city, unless he be a ticket porter; whereas, out of +the freedom part of London, any person may take a knot and turn +porter, till he be entrusted with something of value, and then you +never hear of him more. + +This is very common, and ought to be amended. I would, therefore, +have all porters under some such regulation as coachmen, chairmen, +carmen, &c.; a man may then know whom he entrusts, and not run the +risk of losing his goods, &c. Nay, I would not have a person carry +a basket in the markets, who is not subject to some such +regulation; for very many persons oftentimes lose their dinners in +sending their meat home by persons they know nothing of. + +Thus would all our poor be stationed, and a man or woman able to +perform any of these offices, must either comply or be termed an +idle vagrant, and sent to a place where they shall be forced to +work. By this means industry will be encouraged, idleness +punished, and we shall be famed, as well as happy for our +tranquillity and decorum. + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg eText Everybody's Business is Nobody's Business diff --git a/old/ebdyb10.zip b/old/ebdyb10.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..acfd87f --- /dev/null +++ b/old/ebdyb10.zip |