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diff --git a/old/ebdyb10.txt b/old/ebdyb10.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ad7494d --- /dev/null +++ b/old/ebdyb10.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1093 @@ +Project Gutenberg Etext Everybody's Business is Nobody's Business +#8 in our series by Daniel Defoe + + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world, be sure to check +the copyright laws for your country before posting these files!! + +Please take a look at the important information in this header. +We encourage you to keep this file on your own disk, keeping an +electronic path open for the next readers. Do not remove this. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**Etexts Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*These Etexts Prepared By Hundreds of Volunteers and Donations* + +Information on contacting Project Gutenberg to get Etexts, and +further information is included below. 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FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.04.29.93*END* + + + + + +Project Gutenberg Etext Everybody's Business is Nobody's Business +******This file should be named ebdyb10.txt or ebdyb10.zip****** + + + + + +EVERYBODY'S BUSINESS IS NOBODY'S BUSINESS +or, +PRIVATE ABUSES, PUBLIC GRIEVANCES: +EXEMPLIFIED +In the Pride, Insolence, and exorbitant Wages of our Women, +Servants, Footmen, &c. + +by Daniel Defoe + + + + +WITH + +A Proposal for Amendment of the same; as also for clearing the +Streets of those Vermin called Shoe-Cleaners, and substituting in +their stead many Thousands of industrious Poor, now ready to +starve. With divers other Hints of great Use to the Public. + +Humbly submitted the Consideration of our Legislature, and the +careful Perusal of all Masters and Mistresses of Families. + +BY ANDREW MORETON, Esq. + +The Fifth Edition, with the Addition of a Preface. + + + + +THE PREFACE + + + +Since this little book appeared in print, it has had no less than +three answers, and fresh attacks are daily expected from the powers +of Grub-street; but should threescore antagonists more arise, +unless they say more to the purpose than the forementioned, they +shall not tempt me to reply. + +Nor shall I engage in a paper war, but leave my book to answer for +itself, having advanced nothing therein but evident truths, and +incontestible matters of fact. + +The general objection is against my style; I do not set up for an +author, but write only to be understood, no matter how plain. + +As my intentions are good, so have they had the good fortune to +meet with approbation from the sober and substantial part of +mankind; as for the vicious and vagabond, their ill-will is my +ambition. + +It is with uncommon satisfaction I see the magistracy begin to put +the laws against vagabonds in force with the utmost vigour, a great +many of those vermin, the japanners, having lately been taken up +and sent to the several work-houses in and about this city; and +indeed high time, for they grow every day more and more pernicious. + +My project for putting watchmen under commissioners, will, I hope, +be put in practice; for it is scarce safe to go by water unless you +know your man. + +As for the maid-servants, if I undervalue myself to take notice of +them, as they are pleased to say, it is because they overvalue +themselves so much they ought to be taken notice of. + +This makes the guilty take my subject by the wrong end, but any +impartial reader may find, I write not against servants, but bad +servants; not against wages, but exorbitant wages, and am entirely +of the poet's opinion, + + +The good should meet with favour and applause, +The wicked be restrain'd by wholesome laws. + + +The reason why I did not publish this book till the end of the last +sessions of parliament was, because I did not care to interfere +with more momentous affairs; but leave it to the consideration of +that august body during this recess, against the next sessions, +when I shall exhibit another complaint against a growing abuse, for +which I doubt not but to receive their approbation and the thanks +of all honest men. + + + + +EVERYBODY'S BUSINESS IS NOBODY'S BUSINESS + +by Daniel Defoe + + + + +This is a proverb so common in everybody's mouth, that I wonder +nobody has yet thought it worth while to draw proper inferences +from it, and expose those little abuses, which, though they seem +trifling, and as it were scarce worth consideration, yet, by +insensible degrees, they may become of injurious consequence to the +public; like some diseases, whose first symptoms are only trifling +disorders, but by continuance and progression, their last periods +terminate in the destruction of the whole human fabric. + +In contradiction therefore to this general rule, and out of sincere +love and well meaning to the public, give me leave to enumerate the +abuses insensibly crept in among us, and the inconveniences daily +arising from the insolence and intrigues of our servant-wenches, +who, by their caballing together, have made their party so +considerable, that everybody cries out against them; and yet, to +verify the proverb, nobody has thought of, or at least proposed a +remedy, although such an undertaking, mean as it seems to be, I +hope will one day be thought worthy the consideration of our king, +lords, and commons. + +Women servants are now so scarce, that from thirty and forty +shillings a year, their wages are increased of late to six, seven, +nay, eight pounds per annum, and upwards; insomuch that an ordinary +tradesman cannot well keep one; but his wife, who might be useful +in his shop or business, must do the drudgery of household affairs; +and all this because our servant-wenches are so puffed up with +pride nowadays, that they never think they go fine enough: it is a +hard matter to know the mistress from the maid by their dress; nay, +very often the maid shall be much the finer of the two. Our +woollen manufacture suffers much by this, for nothing but silks and +satins will go down with our kitchen-wenches; to support which +intolerable pride, they have insensibly raised their wages to such +a height as was never known in any age or nation but this. + +Let us trace this from the beginning, and suppose a person has a +servant-maid sent him out of the country, at fifty shillings, or +three pounds a year. The girl has scarce been a week, nay, a day +in her service, but a committee of servant-wenches are appointed to +examine her, who advise her to raise her wages, or give warning; to +encourage her to which, the herb-woman, or chandler-woman, or some +other old intelligencer, provides her a place of four or five +pounds a year; this sets madam cock-a-hoop, and she thinks of +nothing now but vails and high wages, and so gives warning from +place to place, till she has got her wages up to the tip-top. + +Her neat's leathern shoes are now transformed into laced ones with +high heels; her yarn stockings are turned into fine woollen ones, +with silk clocks; and her high wooden pattens are kicked away for +leathern clogs; she must have a hoop too, as well as her mistress; +and her poor scanty linsey-woolsey petticoat is changed into a good +silk one, for four or five yards wide at the least. Not to carry +the description farther, in short, plain country Joan is now turned +into a fine London madam, can drink tea, take snuff, and carry +herself as high as the best. + +If she be tolerably handsome, and has any share of cunning, the +apprentice or her master's son is enticed away and ruined by her. +Thus many good families are impoverished and disgraced by these +pert sluts, who, taking the advantage of a young man's simplicity +and unruly desires, draw many heedless youths, nay, some of good +estates, into their snares; and of this we have but too many +instances. + +Some more artful shall conceal their condition, and palm themselves +off on young fellows for gentlewomen and great fortunes. How many +families have been ruined by these ladies? when the father or +master of the family, preferring the flirting airs of a young +prinked up strumpet, to the artless sincerity of a plain, grave, +and good wife, has given his desires aloose, and destroyed soul, +body, family, and estate. But they are very favourable if they +wheedle nobody into matrimony, but only make a present of a small +live creature, no bigger than a bastard, to some of the family, no +matter who gets it; when a child is born it must be kept. + +Our sessions' papers of late are crowded with instances of servant- +maids robbing their places, this can be only attributed to their +devilish pride; for their whole inquiry nowadays is, how little +they shall do, how much they shall have. + +But all this while they make so little reserve, that if they fall +sick the parish must keep them, if they are out of place, they must +prostitute their bodies, or starve; so that from clopping and +changing, they generally proceed to whoring and thieving, and this +is the reason why our streets swarm with strumpets. + +Thus many of them rove from place to place, from bawdy-house to +service, and from service to bawdy-house again, ever unsettled and +never easy, nothing being more common than to find these creatures +one week in a good family, and the next in a brothel. This +amphibious life makes them fit for neither, for if the bawd uses +them ill, away they trip to service, and if the mistress gives them +a wry word, whip they are at a bawdy-house again, so that in effect +they neither make good whores nor good servants. + +Those who are not thus slippery in the tail, are light of finger; +and of these the most pernicious are those who beggar you inchmeal. +If a maid is a downright thief she strips you, it once, and you +know your loss; but these retail pilferers waste you insensibly, +and though you hardly miss it, yet your substance shall decay to +such a degree, that you must have a very good bottom indeed not to +feel the ill effects of such moths in your family. + +Tea, sugar, wine, &c., or any such trifling commodities, are +reckoned no thefts, if they do not directly take your pewter from +your shelf, or your linen from your drawers, they are very honest: +What harm is there, say they, in cribbing a little matter for a +junket, a merry bout or so? Nay, there are those that when they +are sent to market for one joint of meat, shall take up two on +their master's account, and leave one by the way, for some of these +maids are mighty charitable, and can make a shift to maintain a +small family with what they can purloin from their masters and +mistresses. + +If you send them with ready money, they turn factors, and take +threepence or fourpence in the shilling brokerage. And here let me +take notice of one very heinous abuse, not to say petty felony, +which is practised in most of the great families about town, which +is, when the tradesman gives the house-keeper or other commanding +servant a penny or twopence in the shilling, or so much in the +pound, for everything they send in, and which, from thence, is +called poundage. + +This, in my opinion, is the greatest of villanies, and ought to +incur some punishment, yet nothing is more common, and our topping +tradesmen, who seem otherwise to stand mightily on their credit, +make this but a matter of course and custom. If I do not, says +one, another will (for the servant is sure to pick a hole in the +person's coat who shall not pay contribution). Thus this wicked +practice is carried on and winked at, while receiving of stolen +goods, and confederating with felons, which is not a jot worse, is +so openly cried out against, and severely punished, witness +Jonathan Wild. + +And yet if a master or mistress inquire after anything missing, +they must be sure to place their words in due form, or madam huffs +and flings about at a strange rate, What, would you make a thief of +her? Who would live with such mistrustful folks? Thus you are +obliged to hold your tongue, and sit down quietly by your loss, for +fear of offending your maid, forsooth! + +Again, if your maid shall maintain one, two, or more persons from +your table, whether they are her poor relations, countryfolk, +servants out of place, shoe-cleaners, charwomen, porters, or any +other of her menial servants, who do her ladyship's drudgery and go +of her errands, you must not complain at your expense, or ask what +has become of such a thing, or such a thing; although it might +never so reasonably be supposed that it was altogether impossible +to have so much expended in your family; but hold your tongue for +peace sake, or madam will say, You grudge her victuals; and expose +you to the last degree all over the neighbourhood. + +Thus have they a salve for every sore, cheat you to your face, and +insult you into the bargain; nor can you help yourself without +exposing yourself, or putting yourself into a passion. + +Another great abuse crept in among us, is the giving of veils to +servants; this was intended originally as an encouragement to such +as were willing and handy, but by custom and corruption it is now +grown to be a thorn in our sides, and, like other good things, +abused, does more harm than good; for now they make it a +perquisite, a material part of their wages, nor must their master +give a supper, but the maid expects the guests should pay for it, +nay, sometimes through the nose. Thus have they spirited people up +to this unnecessary and burthensome piece of generosity unknown to +our forefathers, who only gave gifts to servants at Christmas-tide, +which custom is yet kept into the bargain; insomuch that a maid +shall have eight pounds per annum in a gentleman's or merchant's +family. And if her master is a man of free spirit, who receives +much company, she very often doubles her wages by her veils; thus +having meat, drink, washing, and lodging for her labour, she throws +her whole income upon her back, and by this means looks more like +the mistress of the family than the servant-wench. + +And now we have mentioned washing, I would ask some good +housewifely gentlewoman, if servant-maids wearing printed linens, +cottons, and other things of that nature, which require frequent +washing, do not, by enhancing the article of soap, add more to +housekeeping than the generality of people would imagine? And yet +these wretches cry out against great washes, when their own +unnecessary dabs are very often the occasion. + +But the greatest abuse of all is, that these creatures are become +their own lawgivers; nay, I think they are ours too, though nobody +would imagine that such a set of slatterns should bamboozle a whole +nation; but it is neither better nor worse, they hire themselves to +you by their own rule. + +That is, a month's wages, or a month's warning; if they don't like +you they will go away the next day, help yourself how you can; if +you don't like them, you must give them a month's wages to get rid +of them. + +This custom of warning, as practised by our maid-servants, is now +become a great inconvenience to masters and mistresses. You must +carry your dish very upright, or miss, forsooth, gives you warning, +and you are either left destitute, or to seek for a servant; so +that, generally speaking, you are seldom or never fixed, but always +at the mercy of every new comer to divulge your family affairs, to +inspect your private life, and treasure up the sayings of yourself +and friends. A very great confinement, and much complained of in +most families. + +Thus have these wenches, by their continual plotting and cabals, +united themselves into a formidable body, and got the whip hand of +their betters; they make their own terms with us; and two servants +now, will scarce undertake the work which one might perform with +ease; notwithstanding which, they have raised their wages to a most +exorbitant pitch; and, I doubt not, if there be not a stop put to +their career, but they will bring wages up to 201. per annum in +time, for they are much about half way already. + +It is by these means they run away with a great part of our money, +which might be better employed in trade, and what is worse, by +their insolent behaviour, their pride in dress, and their +exorbitant wages, they give birth to the following inconveniences. + +First, They set an ill example to our children, our apprentices, +our covenant servants, and other dependants, by their saucy and +insolent behaviour, their pert, and sometimes abusive answers, +their daring defiance of correction, and many other insolences +which youth are but too apt to imitate. + +Secondly, By their extravagance in dress, they put our wives and +daughters upon yet greater excesses, because they will, as indeed +they ought, go finer than the maid; thus the maid striving to outdo +the mistress, the tradesman's wife to outdo the gentleman's wife, +the gentleman's wife emulating the lady, and the ladies one +another; it seems as if the whole business of the female sex were +nothing but an excess of pride, and extravagance in dress. + +Thirdly, The great height to which women-servants have brought +their wages, makes a mutiny among the men-servants, and puts them +upon raising their wages too; so that in a little time our servants +will become our partners; nay, probably, run away with the better +part of our profits, and make servants of us vice versa. But yet +with all these inconveniences, we cannot possibly do without these +creatures; let us therefore cease to talk of the abuses arising +from them, and begin to think of redressing them. I do not set up +for a lawgiver, and therefore shall lay down no certain rules, +humbly submitting in all things to the wisdom of our legislature. +What I offer shall be under correction; and upon conjecture, my +utmost ambition being but to give some hints to remedy this growing +evil, and leave the prosecution to abler hands. + +And first it would be necessary to settle and limit their wages, +from forty and fifty shillings to four and five pounds per annum, +that is to say, according to their merits and capacities; for +example, a young unexperienced servant should have forty shillings +per annum, till she qualifies herself for a larger sum; a servant +who can do all household work, or, as the good women term it, can +take her work and leave her work, should have four pounds per +annum; and those who have lived seven years in one service, should +ever after demand five pounds per annum, for I would very fain have +some particular encouragements and privileges given to such +servants who should continue long in a place; it would incite a +desire to please, and cause an emulation very beneficial to the +public. + +I have heard of an ancient charity in the parish of St. Clement's +Danes, where a sum of money, or estate, is left, out of the +interest or income of which such maid-servants, who have lived in +that parish seven years in one service, receive a reward of ten +pounds apiece, if they please to demand it. + +This is a noble benefaction, and shows the public spirit of the +donor; but everybody's business is nobody's; nor have I heard that +such reward has been paid to any servant of late years. A thousand +pities a gift of that nature should sink into oblivion, and not be +kept up as an example to incite all parishes to do the like. + +The Romans had a law called Jus Trium Liberorum, by which every man +who had been a father of three children, had particular honours and +privileges. This incited the youth to quit a dissolute single life +and become fathers of families, to the support and glory of the +empire. + +In imitation of this most excellent law, I would have such +servants, who should continue many years in one service, meet with +singular esteem and reward. + +The apparel of our women-servants should be next regulated, that we +may know the mistress from the maid. I remember I was once put +very much to the blush, being at a friend's house, and by him +required to salute the ladies, I kissed the chamber-jade into the +bargain, for she was as well dressed as the best. But I was soon +undeceived by a general titter, which gave me the utmost confusion; +nor can I believe myself the only person who has made such a +mistake. + +Things of this nature would be easily avoided, if servant-maids +were to wear liveries, as our footmen do; or obliged to go in a +dress suitable to their station. What should ail them, but a +jacket and petticoat of good yard-wide stuff, or calimanco, might +keep them decent and warm. + +Our charity children are distinguished by their dress, why then may +not our women-servants? why may they not be made frugal per force, +and not suffered to put all on their backs, but obliged to save +something against a rainy day? I am, therefore, entirely against +servants wearing of silks, laces, and other superfluous finery; it +sets them above themselves, and makes their mistresses contemptible +in their eyes. I am handsomer than my mistress, says a young +prinked up baggage, what pity it is I should be her servant, I go +as well dressed, or better than she. This makes the girl take the +first offer to be made a whore, and there is a good servant +spoiled; whereas, were her dress suitable to her condition, it +would teach her humility, and put her in mind of her duty. + +Besides the fear of spoiling their clothes makes them afraid of +household-work; so that in a little time we shall have none but +chambermaids and nurserymaids; and of this let me give one +instance; my family is composed of myself and sister, a man and a +maid; and, being without the last, a young wench came to hire +herself. The man was gone out, and my sister above stairs, so I +opened the door myself; and this person presented herself to my +view, dressed completely, more like a visitor than a servant-maid; +she, not knowing me, asked for my sister; pray, madam, said I, be +pleased to walk into the parlour, she shall wait on you presently. +Accordingly I handed madam in, who took it very cordially. After +some apology, I left her alone for a minute or two; while I, stupid +wretch! ran up to my sister, and told her there was a gentlewoman +below come to visit her. Dear brother, said she, don't leave her +alone, go down and entertain her while I dress myself. +Accordingly, down I went, and talked of indifferent affairs; +meanwhile my sister dressed herself all over again, not being +willing to be seen in an undress. At last she came down dressed as +clean as her visitor; but how great was my surprise when I found my +fine lady a common servant-wench. + +My sister understanding what she was, began to inquire what wages +she expected? She modestly asked but eight pounds a year. The +next question was, what work she could do to deserve such wages? to +which she answered, she could clean a house, or dress a common +family dinner. But cannot you wash, replied my sister, or get up +linen? she answered in the negative, and said, she would undertake +neither, nor would she go into a family that did not put out their +linen to wash, and hire a charwoman to scour. She desired to see +the house, and having carefully surveyed it, said, the work was too +hard for her, nor could she undertake it. This put my sister +beyond all patience, and me into the greatest admiration. Young +woman, said she, you have made a mistake, I want a housemaid, and +you are a chambermaid. No, madam, replied she, I am not +needlewoman enough for that. And yet you ask eight pounds a year, +replied my sister. Yes, madam, said she, nor shall I bate a +farthing. Then get you gone for a lazy impudent baggage, said I, +you want to be a boarder not a servant; have you a fortune or +estate that you dress at that rate? No, sir, said she, but I hope +I may wear what I work for without offence. What you work, +interrupted my sister, why you do not seem willing to undertake any +work; you will not wash nor scour; you cannot dress a dinner for +company; you are no needlewoman; and our little house of two rooms +on a floor, is too much for you. For God's sake what can you do? +Madam, replied she pertly; I know my business; and do not fear a +service; there are more places than parish churches; if you wash at +home, you should have a laundrymaid; if you give entertainments, +you must have a cookmaid; if you have any needlework, you should +have a chambermaid; and such a house as this is enough for a +housemaid in all conscience. + +I was pleased at the wit, and astonished at the impudence of the +girl, so dismissed her with thanks for her instructions, assuring +her that when I kept four maids she should be housemaid if she +pleased. + +Were a servant to do my business with cheerfulness, I should not +grudge at five or six pounds per annum; nor would I be so +unchristian to put more upon any one than they can bear; but to +pray and pay too is the devil. It is very hard, that I must keep +four servants or none. + +In great families, indeed, where many servants are required, those +distinctions of chambermaid, housemaid, cookmaid, laundrymaid, +nurserymaid, &c., are requisite, to the end that each may take her +particular business, and many hands may make the work light; but +for a private gentleman, of a small fortune, to be obliged to keep +so many idle jades, when one might do the business, is intolerable, +and matter of great grievance. + +I cannot close this discourse without a gentle admonition and +reproof to some of my own sex, I mean those gentlemen who give +themselves unnecessary airs, and cannot go to see a friend, but +they must kiss and slop the maid; and all this is done with an air +of gallantry, and must not be resented. Nay, some gentlemen are so +silly, that they shall carry on an underhand affair with their +friend's servant-maid, to their own disgrace, and the ruin of many +a young creature. Nothing is more base and ungenerous, yet nothing +more common, and withal so little taken notice of. D-n me, Jack, +says one friend to another, this maid of yours is a pretty girl, +you do so and so to her, by G-d. This makes the creature pert, +vain, and impudent, and spoils many a good servant. + +What gentleman will descend to this low way of intrigue, when he +shall consider that he has a footboy or an apprentice for his +rival, and that he is seldom or never admitted, but when they have +been his tasters; and the fool of fortune, though he comes at the +latter end of the feast, yet pays the whole reckoning; and so +indeed would I have all such silly cullies served. + +If I must have an intrigue, let it be with a woman that shall not +shame me. I would never go into the kitchen, when the parlour door +was open. We are forbidden at Highgate, to kiss the maid when we +may kiss the mistress; why then will gentlemen descend so low, by +too much familiarity with these creatures, to bring themselves into +contempt? + +I have been at places where the maid has been so dizzied with these +idle compliments that she has mistook one thing for another, and +not regarded her mistress in the least; but put on all the flirting +airs imaginable. This behaviour is nowhere so much complained of +as in taverns, coffeehouses, and places of public resort, where +there are handsome bar-keepers, &c. These creatures being puffed +up with the fulsome flattery of a set of flesh-flies, which are +continually buzzing about them, carry themselves with the utmost +insolence imaginable; insomuch, that you must speak to them with a +great deal of deference, or you are sure to be affronted. Being at +a coffeehouse the other day, where one of these ladies kept the +bar, I had bespoke a dish of rice tea; but madam was so taken up +with her sparks, she had quite forgot it. I spake for it again, +and with some temper, but was answered after a most taunting +manner, not without a toss of the head, a contraction of the +nostrils, and other impertinences, too many to enumerate. Seeing +myself thus publicly insulted by such an animal, I could not choose +but show my resentment. Woman, said I, sternly, I want a dish of +rice tea, and not what your vanity and impudence may imagine; +therefore treat me as a gentleman and a customer, and serve me with +what I call for: keep your impertinent repartees and impudent +behaviour for the coxcombs that swarm round your bar, and make you +so vain of your blown carcase. And indeed I believe the insolence +of this creature will ruin her master at last, by driving away men +of sobriety and business, and making the place a den of vagabonds +and rakehells. + +Gentlemen, therefore, ought to be very circumspect in their +behaviour, and not undervalue themselves to servant-wenches, who +are but too apt to treat a gentleman ill whenever he puts himself +into their power. + +Let me now beg pardon for this digression, and return to my subject +by proposing some practicable methods for regulating of servants, +which, whether they are followed or not, yet, if they afford matter +of improvement and speculation, will answer the height of my +expectation, and I will be the first who shall approve of whatever +improvements are made from this small beginning. + +The first abuse I would have reformed is, that servants should be +restrained from throwing themselves out of place on every idle +vagary. This might be remedied were all contracts between master +and servant made before a justice of peace, or other proper +officer, and a memorandum thereof taken in writing. Nor should +such servant leave his or her place (for men and maids might come +under the same regulation) till the time agreed on be expired, +unless such servant be misused or denied necessaries, or show some +other reasonable cause for their discharge. In that case, the +master or mistress should be reprimanded or fined. But if servants +misbehave themselves, or leave their places, not being regularly +discharged, they ought to be amerced or punished. But all those +idle, ridiculous customs, and laws of their own making, as a +month's wages, or a month's warning, and suchlike, should be +entirely set aside and abolished. + +When a servant has served the limited time duly and faithfully, +they should be entitled to a certificate, as is practised at +present in the wool-combing trade; nor should any person hire a +servant without a certificate or other proper security. A servant +without a certificate should be deemed a vagrant; and a master or +mistress ought to assign very good reasons indeed when they object +against giving a servant his or her certificate. + +And though, to avoid prolixity, I have not mentioned footmen +particularly in the foregoing discourse, yet the complaints alleged +against the maids are as well masculine as feminine, and very +applicable to our gentlemen's gentlemen; I would, therefore, have +them under the very same regulations, and, as they are fellow- +servants, would not make fish of one and flesh of the other, since +daily experience teaches us, that "never a barrel the better +herring." + +The next great abuse among us is, that under the notion of cleaning +our shoes, above ten thousand wicked, idle, pilfering vagrants are +permitted to patrol about our city and suburbs. These are called +the black-guard, who black your honour's shoes, and incorporate +themselves under the title of the Worshipful Company of Japanners. + +Were this all, there were no hurt in it, and the whole might +terminate in a jest; but the mischief ends not here, they corrupt +our youth, especially our men-servants; oaths and impudence are +their only flowers of rhetoric; gaming and thieving are the +principal parts of their profession; japanning but the pretence. +For example, a gentleman keeps a servant, who among other things is +to clean his master's shoes; but our gentlemen's gentlemen are +above it nowadays, and your man's man performs the office, for +which piece of service you pay double and treble, especially if you +keep a table, nay, you are well off if the japanner has no more +than his own diet from it. + +I have often observed these rascals sneaking from gentlemen's doors +with wallets or hats' full of good victuals, which they either +carry to their trulls, or sell for a trifle. By this means, our +butcher's, our baker's, our poulterer's, and cheesemonger's bills +are monstrously exaggerated; not to mention candles just lighted, +which sell for fivepence a pound, and many other perquisites best +known to themselves and the pilfering villains their confederates. + +Add to this, that their continual gaming sets servants upon their +wits to supply this extravagance, though at the same time the +master's pocket pays for it, and the time which should be spent in +a gentleman's service is loitered away among these rakehells, +insomuch that half our messages are ineffectual, the time intended +being often expired before the message is delivered. + +How many frequent robberies are committed by these japanners? And +to how many more are they confederates? Silver spoons, spurs, and +other small pieces of plate, are every day missing, and very often +found upon these sort of gentlemen; yet are they permitted, to the +shame of all our good laws, and the scandal of our most excellent +government, to lurk about our streets, to debauch our servants and +apprentices, and support an infinite number of scandalous, +shameless trulls, yet more wicked than themselves, for not a Jack +among them but must have his Gill. + +By whom such indecencies are daily acted, even in our open streets, +as are very offensive to the eyes and ears of all sober persons, +and even abominable in a Christian country. + +In any riot, or other disturbance, these sparks are always the +foremost; for most among them can turn their hands to picking of +pockets, to run away with goods from a fire, or other public +confusion, to snatch anything from a woman or child, to strip a +house when the door is open, or any other branch of a thief's +profession. + +In short, it is a nursery for thieves and villains; modest women +are every day insulted by them and their strumpets; and such +children who run about the streets, or those servants who go on +errands, do but too frequently bring home some scraps of their +beastly profane wit; insomuch, that the conversation of our lower +rank of people runs only upon bawdy and blasphemy, notwithstanding +our societies for reformation, and our laws in force against +profaneness; for this lazy life gets them many proselytes, their +numbers daily increasing from runaway apprentices and footboys, +insomuch that it is a very hard matter for a gentleman to get him a +servant, or for a tradesman to find an apprentice. + +Innumerable other mischiefs accrue, and others will spring up from +this race of caterpillars, who must be swept from out our streets, +or we shall be overrun with all manner of wickedness. + +But the subject is so low, it becomes disagreeable even to myself; +give me leave, therefore, to propose a way to clear the streets of +these vermin, and to substitute as many honest industrious persons +in their stead, who are now starving for want of bread, while these +execrable villains live, though in rags and nastiness, yet in +plenty and luxury. + +I, therefore, humbly propose that these vagabonds be put +immediately under the command of such taskmasters as the government +shall appoint, and that they be employed, punished, or rewarded, +according to their capacities and demerits; that is to say, the +industrious and docible to woolcombing, and other parts of the +woollen manufacture, where hands are wanted, as also to husbandry +and other parts of agriculture. + +For it is evident that there are scarce hands enow in the country +to carry on either of these affairs. Now, these vagabonds might +not only by this means be kept out of harm's way, but be rendered +serviceable to the nation. Nor is there any need of transporting +them beyond seas, for if any are refractory they should be sent to +our stannaries and other mines, to our coal works and other places +where hard labour is required. And here I must offer one thing +never yet thought of, or proposed by any, and that is, the keeping +in due repair the navigation of the river Thames, so useful to our +trade in general; and yet of late years such vast hills of sand are +gathered together in several parts of the river, as are very +prejudicial to its navigation, one which is near London Bridge, +another near Whitehall, a third near Battersea, and a fourth near +Fulham. These are of very great hindrance to the navigation; and +indeed the removal of them ought to be a national concern, which I +humbly propose may be thus effected. + +The rebellious part of these vagabonds, as also other thieves and +offenders, should be formed into bodies under the command of proper +officers, and under the guard and awe of our soldiery. These +should every day at low water carry away these sandhills, and +remove every other obstruction to the navigation of this most +excellent and useful river. + +It may be objected that the ballast men might do this; that as fast +as the hills are taken away they would gather together again, or +that the watermen might do it. To the first, I answer, that +ballast men, instead of taking away from these hills, make holes in +other places of the river, which is the reason so many young +persons are drowned when swimming or bathing in the river. + +Besides, it is a work for many hands, and of long continuance; so +that ballast men do more harm than good. The second objection is +as silly; as if I should never wash myself, because I shall be +dirty again, and I think needs no other answer. And as to the +third objection, the watermen are not so public-spirited, they live +only from hand to mouth, though not one of them but finds the +inconvenience of these hills, every day being obliged to go a great +way round about for fear of running aground; insomuch that in a few +years the navigation of that part of the river will be entirely +obstructed. Nevertheless, every one of these gentlemen-watermen +hopes it will last his time, and so they all cry, The devil take +the hindmost. But yet I judge it highly necessary that this be +made a national concern, like Dagenham breach, and that these hills +be removed by some means or other. + +And now I have mentioned watermen, give me leave to complain of the +insolences and exactions they daily commit on the river Thames, and +in particular this one instance, which cries aloud for justice. + +A young lady of distinction, in company with her brother, a little +youth, took a pair of oars at or near the Temple, on April day +last, and ordered the men to carry them to Pepper Alley Stairs. +One of the fellows, according to their usual impertinence, asked +the lady where she was going? She answered, near St. Olave's +church. Upon which he said, she had better go through the bridge. +The lady replied she had never gone through the bridge in her life, +nor would she venture for a hundred guineas; so commanded him once +more to land her at Pepper Alley Stairs. Notwithstanding which, in +spite of her fears, threats, and commands; nay, in spite of the +persuasion of his fellow, he forced her through London Bridge, +which frightened her beyond expression. And to mend the matter, he +obliged her to pay double fare, and mobbed her into the bargain. + +To resent which abuse, application was made to the hall, the fellow +summoned, and the lady ordered to attend, which she did, waiting +there all the morning, and was appointed to call again in the +afternoon. She came accordingly, they told her the fellow had been +there, but was gone, and that she must attend another Friday. She +attended again and again, but to the same purpose. Nor have they +yet produced the man, but tired out the lady, who has spent above +ten shillings in coach-hire, been abused and baffled into the +bargain. + +It is pity, therefore, there are not commissioners for watermen, as +there are for hackney coachmen; or that justices of the peace might +not inflict bodily penalties on watermen thus offending. But while +watermen are watermen's judges, I shall laugh at those who carry +their complaints to the hall. + +The usual plea in behalf of abusive watermen is, that they are +drunk, ignorant, or poor; but will that satisfy the party +aggrieved, or deter the offender from reoffending? Whereas were +the offenders sent to the house of correction, and there punished, +or sentenced to work at the sandhills aforementioned, for a time +suitable to the nature of their crimes, terror of such punishments +would make them fearful of offending, to the great quiet of the +subject. + +Now, it maybe asked, How shall we have our shoes cleaned, or how +are these industrious poor to be maintained? To this I answer that +the places of these vagabonds may be very well supplied by great +numbers of ancient persons, poor widows, and others, who have not +enough from their respective parishes to maintain them. These poor +people I would have authorised and stationed by the justices of the +peace or other magistrates. Each of these should have a particular +walk or stand, and no other shoe-cleaner should come into that +walk, unless the person misbehave and be removed. Nor should any +person clean shoes in the streets, but these authorised shoe- +cleaners, who should have some mark of distinction, and be under +the immediate government of the justices of the peace. + +Thus would many thousands of poor people be provided for, without +burthening their parishes. Some of these may earn a shilling or +two in the day, and none less than sixpence, or thereabouts. And +lest the old japanners should appear again, in the shape of +linkboys, and knock down gentlemen in drink, or lead others out of +the way into dark remote places, where they either put out their +lights, and rob them themselves, or run away and leave them to be +pillaged by others, as is daily practised, I would have no person +carry a link for hire but some of these industrious poor, and even +such, not without some ticket or badge, to let people know whom +they trust. Thus would the streets be cleared night and day of +these vermin; nor would oaths, skirmishes, blasphemy, obscene talk, +or other wicked examples, be so public and frequent. All gaming at +orange and gingerbread barrows should be abolished, as also all +penny and halfpenny lotteries, thimbles and balls, &c., so frequent +in Moorfields, Lincoln's-inn-fields, &c., where idle fellows +resort, to play with children and apprentices, and tempt them to +steal their parents' or master's money. + +There is one admirable custom in the city of London, which I could +wish were imitated in the city and liberties of Westminster, and +bills of mortality, which is, no porter can carry a burthen or +letter in the city, unless he be a ticket porter; whereas, out of +the freedom part of London, any person may take a knot and turn +porter, till he be entrusted with something of value, and then you +never hear of him more. + +This is very common, and ought to be amended. I would, therefore, +have all porters under some such regulation as coachmen, chairmen, +carmen, &c.; a man may then know whom he entrusts, and not run the +risk of losing his goods, &c. Nay, I would not have a person carry +a basket in the markets, who is not subject to some such +regulation; for very many persons oftentimes lose their dinners in +sending their meat home by persons they know nothing of. + +Thus would all our poor be stationed, and a man or woman able to +perform any of these offices, must either comply or be termed an +idle vagrant, and sent to a place where they shall be forced to +work. By this means industry will be encouraged, idleness +punished, and we shall be famed, as well as happy for our +tranquillity and decorum. + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg eText Everybody's Business is Nobody's Business diff --git a/old/ebdyb10.zip b/old/ebdyb10.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..acfd87f --- /dev/null +++ b/old/ebdyb10.zip |
