diff options
Diffstat (limited to '20009.txt')
| -rw-r--r-- | 20009.txt | 1571 |
1 files changed, 1571 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/20009.txt b/20009.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..43d422b --- /dev/null +++ b/20009.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1571 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Ixion In Heaven, by Benjamin Disraeli + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Ixion In Heaven + +Author: Benjamin Disraeli + +Release Date: December 3, 2006 [EBook #20009] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IXION IN HEAVEN *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +IXION IN HEAVEN + +By Benjamin Disraeli + + + + + _ADVERTISEMENT_ + + _'IXION, King of Thessaly, famous for its horses, married + Dia, daughter of Deioneus, who, in consequence of his son- + in-law's non-fulfilment of his engagements, stole away some + of the monarch's steeds. Ixion concealed his resentment + under the mask of friendship. He invited his father-in-law + to a feast at Larissa, the capital of his kingdom; and when + Deioneus arrived according to his appointment, he threw him + into a pit which he had previously filled with burning + coals. This treachery so irritated the neighbouring princes, + that all of them refused to perform the usual ceremony, by + which a man was then purified of murder, and Ixion was + shunned and despised by all mankind. Jupiter had compassion + upon him, carried him to Heaven, and introduced him to the + Father of the Gods. Such a favour, which ought to have + awakened gratitude in Ixion, only served to inflame his bad + passions; he became enamoured of Juno, and attempted to + seduce her. Juno was willing to gratify the passion of + Ixion, though, according to others,' &c.--Classical + Dictionary, art. 'Ixion.'_ + + + + +IXION IN HEAVEN + + + + +PART I. + + _An Errant King_ + +THE thunder groaned, the wind howled, the rain fell in hissing torrents, +impenetrable darkness covered the earth. A blue and forky flash darted a +momentary light over the landscape. A Doric temple rose in the centre of +a small and verdant plain, surrounded on all sides by green and hanging +woods. + +'Jove is my only friend,' exclaimed a wanderer, as he muffled himself up +in his mantle; 'and were it not for the porch of his temple, this night, +methinks, would complete the work of my loving wife and my dutiful +subjects.' + +The thunder died away, the wind sank into silence, the rain ceased, and +the parting clouds exhibited the glittering crescent of the young moon. +A sonorous and majestic voice sounded from the skies:-- + +'Who art thou that hast no other friend than Jove?' 'One whom all +mankind unite in calling a wretch.' 'Art thou a philosopher?' + +'If philosophy be endurance. But for the rest, I was sometime a king, +and am now a scatterling.' 'How do they call thee? 'Ixion of Thessaly.' + +'Ixion of Thessaly! I thought he was a happy man. I heard that he was +just married.' + +'Father of Gods and men! for I deem thee such, Thessaly is not Olympus. +Conjugal felicity is only the portion of the immortals!' + +'Hem! What! was Dia jealous, which is common; or false, which is +commoner; or both, which is commonest?' + +'It may be neither. We quarrelled about nothing. Where there is little +sympathy, or too much, the splitting of a straw is plot enough for a +domestic tragedy. I was careless, her friends stigmatised me as callous; +she cold, her friends styled her magnanimous. Public opinion was all +on her side, merely because I did not choose that the world should +interfere between me and my wife. Dia took the world's advice upon every +point, and the world decided that she always acted rightly. However, +life is life, either in a palace or a cave. I am glad you ordered it to +leave off thundering.' + +'A cool dog this. And Dia left thee? 'No; I left her.' 'What, craven?' + +'Not exactly. The truth is-----'tis a long story. + +I was over head and ears in debt.' + +'Ah! that accounts for everything. Nothing so harassing as a want of +money! But what lucky fellows you mortals are with your _post-obits!_ +We Immortals are deprived of this resource. I was obliged to get up a +rebellion against my father, because he kept me so short, and could not +die.' + +'You could have married for money. I did.' 'I had no opportunity, there +was so little female society in those days. When I came out, there were +no heiresses except the Parcae, confirmed old maids; and no very rich +dowager, except my grandmother, old Terra.' + +'Just the thing; the older the better. However, I married Dia, the +daughter of Deioneus, with a prodigious portion; but after the ceremony +the old gentleman would not fulfil his part of the contract without +my giving up my stud. Can you conceive anything more unreasonable? I +smothered my resentment at the time; for the truth is, my tradesmen all +renewed my credit on the strength of the match, and so we went on +very well for a year; but at last they began to smell a rat, and grew +importunate. I entreated Dia to interfere; but she was a paragon of +daughters, and always took the side of her father. If she had only been +dutiful to her husband, she would have been a perfect woman. At last +I invited Deioneus to the Larissa races, with the intention of +conciliating him. The unprincipled old man bought the horse that I +had backed, and by which I intended to have redeemed my fortunes, and +withdrew it. My book was ruined. I dissembled my rage. I dug a pit in +our garden, and filled it with burning coals. As my father-in-law and +myself were taking a stroll after dinner, the worthy Deioneus fell in, +merely by accident. Dia proclaimed me the murderer of her father, and, +as a satisfaction to her wounded feelings, earnestly requested her +subjects to decapitate her husband. She certainly was the best of +daughters. There was no withstanding public opinion, an infuriated +rabble, and a magnanimous wife at the same time. They surrounded my +palace: I cut my way through the greasy-capped multitude, sword in hand, +and gained a neighbouring Court, where I solicited my brother princes +to purify me from the supposed murder. If I had only murdered a subject, +they would have supported me against the people; but Deioneus being a +crowned head, like themselves, they declared they would not countenance +so immoral a being as his son-in-law. And so, at length, after much +wandering, and shunned by all my species, I am here, Jove, in much +higher society than I ever expected to mingle.' + +'Well, thou art a frank dog, and in a sufficiently severe scrape. The +Gods must have pity on those for whom men have none. It is evident that +Earth is too hot for thee at present, so I think thou hadst better come +and stay a few weeks with us in Heaven.' 'Take my thanks for hecatombs, +great Jove. Thou art, indeed, a God!' + +'I hardly know whether our life will suit you. We dine at sunset; for +Apollo is so much engaged that he cannot join us sooner, and no dinner +goes off well without him. In the morning you are your own master, and +must find amusement where you can. Diana will show you some tolerable +sport. Do you shoot?' + +'No arrow surer. Fear not for me, AEgiochus: I am always at home. But +how am I to get to you?' 'I will send Mercury; he is the best travelling +companion in the world. What ho! my Eagle!' + +The clouds joined, and darkness again fell over the earth. + +'So! tread softly. Don't be nervous. Are you sick?' + +'A little nausea; 'tis nothing.' + +'The novelty of the motion. The best thing is a beefsteak. We will stop +at Taurus and take one.' + +'You have been a great traveller, Mercury?' + +'I have seen the world.' + +'Ah! a wondrous spectacle. I long to travel.' + +'The same thing over and over again. Little novelty and much change. I +am wearied with exertion, and if I could get a pension would retire.' + +'And yet travel brings wisdom.' + +'It cures us of care. Seeing much we feel little, and learn how very +petty are all those great affairs which cost us such anxiety.' + +'I feel that already myself. Floating in this blue aether, what the +devil is my wife to me, and her dirty Earth! My persecuting enemies seem +so many pismires; and as for my debts, which have occasioned me so many +brooding moments, honour and infamy, credit and beggary, seem to me +alike ridiculous.' + +'Your mind is opening, Ixion. You will soon be a man of the world. To +the left, and keep clear of that star.' + +'Who lives there?' + +'The Fates know, not I. Some low people who are trying to shine into +notice. 'Tis a parvenu planet, and only sprung into space within this +century. We do not visit them.' + +'Poor devils! I feel hungry.' + +'All right. We shall get into Heaven by the first dinner bolt. You +cannot arrive at a strange house at a better moment. We shall just have +time to dress. I would not spoil my appetite by luncheon. Jupiter keeps +a capital cook.' + +'I have heard of Nectar and Ambrosia.' 'Poh! nobody touches them. +They are regular old-fashioned celestial food, and merely put upon the +side-table. Nothing goes down in Heaven now but infernal cookery. We +took our chef from Proserpine.' + +'Were you ever in Hell?' + +'Several times. 'Tis the fashion now among the Olympians to pass the +winter there.' 'Is this the season in Heaven?' 'Yes; you are lucky. +Olympus is quite full.' 'It was kind of Jupiter to invite me.' 'Ay! he +has his good points. And, no doubt, he has taken a liking to you, which +is all very well. But be upon your guard. He has no heart, and is as +capricious as he is tyrannical.' + +'Gods cannot be more unkind to me than men have been.' + +'All those who have suffered think they have seen the worst. A great +mistake. However, you are now in the high road to preferment, so we will +not be dull. There are some good fellows enough amongst us. You will +like old Neptune.' 'Is he there now?' + +'Yes, he generally passes his summer with us. There is little stirring +in the ocean at that season.' 'I am anxious to see Mars.' + +'Oh! a brute, more a bully than a hero. Not at all in the best set. +These mustachioed gentry are by no means the rage at present in Olympus. +The women are all literary now, and Minerva has quite eclipsed Venus. +Apollo is our hero. You must read his last work.' + +'I hate reading.' + +'So do I. I have no time, and seldom do anything in that way but glance +at a newspaper. Study and action will not combine.' + +'I suppose I shall find the Goddesses very proud?' + +'You will find them as you find women below, of different dispositions +with the same object. Venus is a flirt; Minerva a prude, who fancies she +has a correct taste and a strong mind; and Juno a politician. As for the +rest, faint heart never won fair lady; take a friendly hint, and do not +be alarmed.' + +'I fear nothing. My mind mounts with my fortunes. We are above the +clouds. They form beneath us a vast and snowy region, dim and irregular, +as I have sometimes seen them clustering upon the horizon's ridge at +sunset, like a raging sea stilled by some sudden supernatural frost +and frozen into form! How bright the air above us, and how delicate +its fragrant breath! I scarcely breathe, and yet my pulses beat like +my first youth. I hardly feel my being. A splendour falls upon your +presence. You seem, indeed, a God! Am I so glorious? This, this is +Heaven!' + +The travellers landed on a vast flight of sparkling steps of +lapis-lazuli. Ascending, they entered beautiful gardens; winding +walks that yielded to the feet, and accelerated your passage by their +rebounding pressure; fragrant shrubs covered with dazzling flowers, the +fleeting tints of which changed every moment; groups of tall trees, with +strange birds of brilliant and variegated plumage, singing and reposing +in their sheeny foliage, and fountains of perfumes. + +Before them rose an illimitable and golden palace, with high spreading +domes of pearl, and long windows of crystal. Around the huge portal of +ruby was ranged a company of winged genii, who smiled on Mercury as he +passed them with his charge. + +'The Father of Gods and men is dressing,' said the son of Maia. 'I shall +attend his toilet and inform him of your arrival. These are your rooms. +Dinner will be ready in half an hour. I will call for you as I go down. +You can be formally presented in the evening. At that time, inspired by +liqueurs and his matchless band of wind instruments, you will agree with +the world that AEgiochus is the most finished God in existence.' + +'Now, Ixion, are you ready?' 'Even so. What says Jove?' 'He smiled, but +said nothing. He was trying on a new robe. By this time he is seated. +Hark! the thunder. Come on!' + +They entered a cupolaed hall. Seats of ivory and gold were ranged round +a circular table of cedar, inlaid with the campaigns against the Titans, +in silver exquisitely worked, a nuptial present of Vulcan. The service +of gold plate threw all the ideas of the King of Thessaly as to royal +magnificence into the darkest shade. The enormous plateau represented +the constellations. Ixion viewed the Father of Gods and men with great +interest, who, however, did not notice him. He acknowledged the majesty +of that countenance whose nod shook Olympus. Majestically robust and +luxuriantly lusty, his tapering waist was evidently immortal, for it +defied Time, and his splendid auburn curls, parted on his forehead +with celestial precision, descended over cheeks glowing with the purple +radiancy of perpetual manhood. + +The haughty Juno was seated on his left hand and Ceres on his right. For +the rest of the company there was Neptune, Latona, Minerva, and Apollo, +and when Mercury and Ixion had taken their places, one seat was still +vacant. + +'Where is Diana?' inquired Jupiter, with a frown. + +'My sister is hunting,' said Apollo. + +'She is always too late for dinner,' said Jupiter. 'No habit is less +Goddess-like.' + +'Godlike pursuits cannot be expected to induce Goddess-like manners,' +said Juno, with a sneer. + +'I have no doubt Diana will be here directly,' said Latona, mildly. + +Jupiter seemed pacified, and at that instant the absent guest returned. + +'Good sport, Di?' inquired Neptune. + +'Very fair, uncle. Mamma,' continued the sister of Apollo, addressing +herself to Juno, whom she ever thus styled when she wished to conciliate +her, 'I have brought you a new peacock.' + +Juno was fond of pets, and was conciliated by the present. + +'Bacchus made a great noise about this wine, Mercury,' said Jupiter,' +but I think with little cause. What think you?' + +'It pleases me, but I am fatigued, and then all wine is agreeable.' + +'You have had a long journey,' replied the Thunderer. 'Ixion, I am glad +to see you in Heaven.' + +'Your Majesty arrived to-day?' inquired Minerva, to whom the King of +Thessaly sat next. + +'Within this hour.' + +'You must leave off talking of Time now,' said Minerva, with a severe +smile. 'Pray is there anything new in Greece?' + +'I have not been at all in society lately.' + +'No new edition of Homer? I admire him exceedingly.' + +'All about Greece interests me,' said Apollo, who, although handsome, +was a somewhat melancholy lack-a-daisical looking personage, with his +shirt collar thrown open, and his long curls theatrically arranged. +'All about Greece interests me. I always consider Greece my peculiar +property. My best poems were written at Delphi. I travelled in Greece +when I was young. I envy mankind.' + +'Indeed!' said Ixion. + +'Yes: they at least can look forward to a termination of the ennui of +existence, but for us Celestials there is no prospect. Say what they +like, immortality is a bore.' + +'You eat nothing, Apollo,' said Ceres. + +'Nor drink,' said Neptune. + +'To eat, to drink, what is it but to live; and what is life but death, +if death be that which all men deem it, a thing insufferable, and to +be shunned. I refresh myself now only with soda-water and biscuits. +Ganymede, bring some.' + +Now, although the _cuisine_ of Olympus was considered perfect, the +forlorn poet had unfortunately fixed upon the only two articles which +were not comprised in its cellar or larder. In Heaven, there was neither +soda-water nor biscuits. A great confusion consequently ensued; but at +length the bard, whose love of fame was only equalled by his horror of +getting fat, consoled himself with a swan stuffed with truffles, and a +bottle of strong Tenedos wine. + +'What do you think of Homer?' inquired Minerva of Apollo. 'Is he not +delightful?' + +'If you think so.' + +'Nay, I am desirous of your opinion.' + +'Then you should not have given me yours, for your taste is too fine for +me to dare to differ with it.' + +'I have suspected, for some time, that you are rather a heretic' + +'Why, the truth is,' replied Apollo, playing with his rings, 'I do not +think much of Homer. Homer was not esteemed in his own age, and our +contemporaries are generally our best judges. The fact is, there are +very few people who are qualified to decide upon matters of taste. A +certain set, for certain reasons, resolve to cry up a certain writer, +and the great mass soon join in. All is cant. And the present admiration +of Homer is not less so. They say I have borrowed a great deal from him. +The truth is, I never read Homer since I was a child, and I thought of +him then what I think of him now, a writer of some wild irregular power, +totally deficient in taste. Depend upon it, our contemporaries are our +best judges, and his contemporaries decided that Homer was nothing. +A great poet cannot be kept down. Look at my case. Marsyas said of my +first volume that it was pretty good poetry for a God, and in answer I +wrote a satire, and flayed Marsyas alive. But what is poetry, and what +is criticism, and what is life? Air. And what is air? Do you know? I +don't. All is mystery, and all is gloom, and ever and anon from out the +clouds a star breaks forth, and glitters, and that star is Poetry.' + +'Splendid!' exclaimed Minerva. + +'I do not exactly understand you,' said Neptune. + +'Have you heard from Proserpine, lately?' inquired Jupiter of Ceres. + +'Yesterday,' said the domestic mother. 'They talk of soon joining us. +But Pluto is at present so busy, owing to the amazing quantity of +wars going on now, that I am almost afraid he will scarcely be able to +accompany her.' + +Juno exchanged a telegraphic nod with Ceres. The Goddesses rose, and +retired. + +'Come, old boy,' said Jupiter to Ixion, instantly throwing off all his +chivalric majesty, 'I drink your welcome in a magnum of Maraschino. +Damn your poetry, Apollo, and, Mercury, give us one of your good +stories.' + +'Well! what do you think of him?' asked Juno. + +'He appears to have a fine mind,' said Minerva. + +'Poh! he has very fine eyes,' said Juno. + +'He seems a very nice, quiet young gentleman,' said Ceres. + +'I have no doubt he is very amiable,' said Latona. + +'He must have felt very strange,' said Diana. + +Hercules arrived with his bride Hebe; soon after the Graces dropped in, +the most delightful personages in the world for a _soiree_, so useful +and ready for anything. Afterwards came a few of the Muses, Thalia, +Melpomene, and Terpsichore, famous for a charade or a proverb. Jupiter +liked to be amused in the evening. Bacchus also came, but finding that +the Gods had not yet left their wine, retired to pay them a visit. + +Ganymede announced coffee in the saloon of Juno. Jupiter was in superb +good humour. He was amused by his mortal guest. He had condescended +to tell one of his best stories in his best style, about Leda, not too +scandalous, but gay. + +'Those were bright days,' said Neptune. + +'We can remember,' said the Thunderer, with a twinkling eye. 'These +youths have fallen upon duller times. There are no fine women now. +Ixion, I drink to the health of your wife.' + +'With all my heart, and may we never be nearer than we are at present.' + +'Good! i'faith; Apollo, your arm. Now for the ladies. La, la, la, la! +la, la, la, la!' + +The Thunderer entered the saloon of Juno with that bow which no God +could rival; all rose, and the King of Heaven seated himself between +Ceres and Latona. The melancholy Apollo stood apart, and was soon +carried off by Minerva to an assembly at the house of Mnemosyne. +Mercury chatted with the Graces, and Bacchus with Diana. The three Muses +favoured the company with singing, and the Queen of Heaven approached +Ixion. + +'Does your Majesty dance?' she haughtily inquired. + +'On earth; I have few accomplishments even there, and none in Heaven.' + +'You have led a strange life! I have heard of your adventures.' + +'A king who has lost his crown may generally gain at least experience.' + +'Your courage is firm.' + +'I have felt too much to care for much. Yesterday I was a vagabond +exposed to every pitiless storm, and now I am the guest of Jove. While +there is life there is hope, and he who laughs at Destiny will gain +Fortune. I would go through the past again to enjoy the present, and +feel that, after all, I am my wife's debtor, since, through her conduct, +I can gaze upon you.' + +'No great spectacle. If that be all. I wish you better fortune.' + +'I desire no greater.' + +'You are moderate.' + +'I am perhaps more unreasonable than you imagine.' + +'Indeed!' + +Their eyes met; the dark orbs of the Thessalian did not quail before the +flashing vision of the Goddess. Juno grew pale. Juno turned away. + + + + +PART II. + + _'Others say it was only a cloud.'_ + + _A Mortal Among the Gods._ + +MERCURY and Ganymede were each lolling on an opposite couch in the +antechamber of Olympus. + +'It is wonderful,' said the son of Maia, yawning. 'It is incredible,' +rejoined the cupbearer of Jove, stretching his legs. + +'A miserable mortal!' exclaimed the God, elevating his eyebrows. + +'A vile Thessalian!' said the beautiful Phrygian, shrugging his +shoulders. + +'Not three days back an outcast among his own wretched species!' + +'And now commanding everybody in Heaven.' 'He shall not command me, +though,' said Mercury. + +'Will he not?' replied Ganymede. 'Why, what do you think? only last +night; hark! here he comes.' + +The companions jumped up from their couches; a light laugh was heard. +The cedar portal was flung open, and Ixion lounged in, habited in a +loose morning robe, and kicking before him one of his slippers. 'Ah!' +exclaimed the King of Thessaly, 'the very fellows I wanted to see! +Ganymede, bring me some nectar; and, Mercury, run and tell Jove that I +shall not dine at home to-day.' + +The messenger and the page exchanged looks of indignant consternation. + +'Well! what are you waiting for?' continued Ixion, looking round from +the mirror in which he was arranging his locks. The messenger and the +page disappeared. + +'So! this is Heaven,' exclaimed the husband of Dia, flinging himself +upon one of the couches; 'and a very pleasant place too. These worthy +Immortals required their minds to be opened, and I trust I have +effectually performed the necessary operation. They wanted to keep me +down with their dull old-fashioned celestial airs, but I fancy I have +given them change for their talent. To make your way in Heaven you +must command. These exclusives sink under the audacious invention of +an aspiring mind. Jove himself is really a fine old fellow, with some +notions too. I am a prime favourite, and no one is greater authority +with AEgiochus on all subjects, from the character of the fair sex or +the pedigree of a courser, down to the cut of a robe or the flavour of a +dish. Thanks, Ganymede,' continued the Thessalian, as he took the goblet +from his returning attendant. + +'I drink to your _bonnes fortunes_. Splendid! This nectar makes me feel +quite immortal. By-the-bye, I hear sweet sounds. Who is in the Hall of +Music?' + +'The Goddesses, royal sir, practise a new air of Euterpe, the words by +Apollo. 'Tis pretty, and will doubtless be very popular, for it is all +about moonlight and the misery of existence.' + +'I warrant it.' + +'You have a taste for poetry yourself?' inquired Ganymede. + +'Not the least,' replied Ixion. + +'Apollo,' continued the heavenly page, 'is a great genius, though +Marsyas said that he never would be a poet because he was a God, and had +no heart. But do you think, sir, that a poet does indeed need a heart?' + +'I really cannot say. I know my wife always said I had a bad heart +and worse head; but what she meant, upon my honour I never could +understand.' + +'Minerva will ask you to write in her album.' + +'Will she indeed! I am sorry to hear it, for I can scarcely scrawl my +signature. I should think that Jove himself cared little for all this +nonsense.' + +'Jove loves an epigram. He does not esteem Apollo's works at all. Jove +is of the classical school, and admires satire, provided there be no +allusions to Gods and kings.' + +'Of course; I quite agree with him. I remember we had a confounded poet +at Larissa who proved my family lived before the deluge, and asked me +for a pension. I refused him, and then he wrote an epigram asserting +that I sprang from the veritable stones thrown by Deucalion and Pyrrha +at the re-peopling of the earth, and retained all the properties of my +ancestors.' + +'Ha, ha! Hark! there's a thunderbolt! I must run to Jove.' + +'And I will look in on the musicians. This way, I think?' + +'Up the ruby staircase, turn to your right, down the amethyst gallery. +Farewell!' + +'Good-bye; a lively lad that!' + +The King of Thessaly entered the Hall of Music with its golden walls +and crystal dome. The Queen of Heaven was reclining in an easy chair, +cutting out peacocks in small sheets of note paper. Minerva was making +a pencil observation on a manuscript copy of the song: Apollo listened +with deference to her laudatory criticisms. Another divine dame, +standing by the side of Euterpe, who was seated by the harp, looked +up as Ixion entered. The wild liquid glance of her soft but radiant +countenance denoted the famed Goddess of Beauty. + +Juno just acknowledged the entrance of Ixion by a slight and haughty +inclination of the head, and then resumed her employment. Minerva asked +him his opinion of her amendment, of which he greatly approved. Apollo +greeted him with a melancholy smile, and congratulated him on being +mortal. Venus complimented him on his visit to Olympus, and expressed +the pleasure that she experienced in making his acquaintance. + +'What do you think of Heaven?' inquired Venus, in a soft still voice, +and with a smile like summer lightning. + +'I never found it so enchanting as at this moment,' replied Ixion. + +'A little dull? For myself, I pass my time chiefly at Cnidos: you must +come and visit me there. 'Tis the most charming place in the world. 'Tis +said, you know, that our onions are like other people's roses. We will +take care of you, if your wife come.' + +'No fear of that. She always remains at home and piques herself on +her domestic virtues, which means pickling, and quarrelling with her +husband.' + +'Ah! I see you are a droll. Very good indeed. Well, for my part, I like +a watering-place existence. Cnidos, Paphos, Cythera; you will usually +find me at one of these places. I like the easy distraction of a career +without any visible result. At these fascinating spots your gloomy race, +to whom, by-the-bye, I am exceedingly partial, appear emancipated from +the wearing fetters of their regular, dull, orderly, methodical, moral, +political, toiling existence. I pride myself upon being the Goddess of +watering-places. You really must pay me a visit at Cnidos.' + +'Such an invitation requires no repetition. And Cnidos is your favourite +spot?' + +'Why, it was so; but of late it has become so inundated with invalid +Asiatics and valetudinarian Persians, that the simultaneous influx of +the handsome heroes who swarm in from the islands to look after their +daughters, scarcely compensates for the annoying presence of their +yellow faces and shaking limbs. No, I think, on the whole, Paphos is my +favourite.' + +'I have heard of its magnificent luxury.' + +'Oh! 'tis lovely! Quite my idea of country life. Not a single tree! When +Cyprus is very hot, you run to Paphos for a sea-breeze, and are sure to +meet every one whose presence is in the least desirable. All the bores +remain behind, as if by instinct.' + +'I remember when we married, we talked of passing the honeymoon at +Cythera, but Dia would have her waiting-maid and a bandbox stuffed +between us in the chariot, so I got sulky after the first stage, and +returned by myself.' + +'You were quite right. I hate bandboxes: they are always in the way. +You would have liked Cythera if you had been in the least in love. +High rocks and green knolls, bowery woods, winding walks, and delicious +sunsets. I have not been there much of late,' continued the Goddess, +looking somewhat sad and serious, 'since--but I will not talk +sentiment to Ixion.' + +'Do you think, then, I am insensible?' + +'Yes.' + +'Perhaps you are right. We mortals grow callous.' + +'So I have heard. How very odd!' So saying, the Goddess glided away and +saluted Mars, who at that moment entered the hall. Ixion was presented +to the military hero, who looked fierce and bowed stiffly. The King of +Thessaly turned upon his heel. Minerva opened her album, and invited him +to inscribe a stanza. + +'Goddess of Wisdom,' replied the King, 'unless you inspire me, the +virgin page must remain pure as thyself. I can scarcely sign a decree.' + +'Is it Ixion of Thessaly who says this; one who has seen so much, +and, if I am not mistaken, has felt and thought so much? I can easily +conceive why such a mind may desire to veil its movements from the +common herd, but pray concede to Minerva the gratifying compliment +of assuring her that she is the exception for whom this rule has been +established.' + +'I seem to listen to the inspired music of an oracle. Give me a pen! + +'Here is one, plucked from a sacred owl.' 'So! I write. There! Will it +do?' Minerva read the inscription:-- + + _I HAVE SEEN THE WORLD, AND MORE THAN THE WORLD: + I HAVE STUDIED THE HEART OF MAN, + AND NOW I CONSORT WITH IMMORTALS. + THE FRUIT OF MY TREE OF KNOWLEDGE IS PLUCKED, + AND IT IS THIS, + 'Adventures are to the Adventurous.' + Written in the Album of Minerva, by + Ixion in Heaven._ + +''Tis brief,' said the Goddess, with a musing air, 'but full of meaning. +You have a daring soul and pregnant mind.' + +'I have dared much: what I may produce we have yet to see.' + +'I must to Jove,' said Minerva, 'to council. We shall meet again. +Farewell, Ixion.' + +'Farewell, Glaucopis.' + +The King of Thessaly stood away from the remaining guests, and leant +with folded arms and pensive brow against a wreathed column. Mars +listened to Venus with an air of deep devotion. Euterpe played an +inspiring accompaniment to their conversation. The Queen of Heaven +seemed engrossed in the creation of her paper peacocks. + +Ixion advanced and seated himself on a couch near Juno. His manner was +divested of that reckless bearing and careless coolness by which it was +in general distinguished. He was, perhaps, even a little embarrassed. +His ready tongue deserted him. At length he spoke. + +'Has your Majesty ever heard of the peacock of the Queen of +Mesopotamia?' + +'No,' replied Juno, with stately reserve; and then she added with an air +of indifferent curiosity, 'Is it in any way remarkable?' + +'Its breast is of silver, its wings of gold, its eyes of carbuncle, its +claws of amethyst.' + +'And its tail?' eagerly inquired Juno. + +'That is a secret,' replied Ixion. 'The tail is the most wonderful part +of all.' + +'Oh! tell me, pray tell me!' + +'I forget.' + +'No, no, no; it is impossible!' exclaimed the animated Juno. +'Provoking mortal!' continued the Goddess. 'Let me entreat you; tell me +immediately.' + +'There is a reason which prevents me.' + +'What can it be? How very odd! What reason can it possibly be? Now tell +me; as a particular, a personal favour, I request you, do tell me.' + +'What! The tail or the reason? The tail is wonderful, but the reason is +much more so. I can only tell one. Now choose.' + +'What provoking things these human beings are! The tail is wonderful, +but the reason is much more so. Well then, the reason; no, the tail. +Stop, now, as a particular favour, pray tell me both. What can the +tail be made of and what can the reason be? I am literally dying of +curiosity.' + +'Your Majesty has cut out that peacock wrong,' remarked Ixion. 'It is +more like one of Minerva's owls.' + +'Who cares about paper peacocks, when the Queen of Mesopotamia has got +such a miracle!' exclaimed Juno; and she tore the labours of the morning +to pieces, and threw away the fragments with vexation. 'Now tell me +instantly; if you have the slightest regard for me, tell me instantly. +What was the tail made of?' + +'And you do not wish to hear the reason?' + +'That afterwards. Now! I am all ears.' At this moment Ganymede entered, +and whispered the Goddess, who rose in evident vexation, and retired to +the presence of Jove. + +The King of Thessaly quitted the Hall of Music. Moody, yet not +uninfluenced by a degree of wild excitement, he wandered forth into the +gardens of Olympus. He came to a beautiful green retreat surrounded by +enormous cedars, so vast that it seemed they must have been coeval with +the creation; so fresh and brilliant, you would have deemed them wet +with the dew of their first spring. The turf, softer than down, and +exhaling, as you pressed it, an exquisite perfume, invited him to +recline himself upon this natural couch. He threw himself upon the +aromatic herbage, and leaning on his arm, fell into a deep reverie. + +Hours flew away; the sunshiny glades that opened in the distance had +softened into shade. + +'Ixion, how do you do?' inquired a voice, wild, sweet, and thrilling as +a bird. The King of Thessaly started and looked up with the distracted +air of a man roused from a dream, or from complacent meditation over +some strange, sweet secret. His cheek was flushed, his dark eyes flashed +fire; his brow trembled, his dishevelled hair played in the fitful +breeze. The King of Thessaly looked up, and beheld a most beautiful +youth. + +Apparently, he had attained about the age of puberty. His stature, +however, was rather tall for his age, but exquisitely moulded and +proportioned. Very fair, his somewhat round cheeks were tinted with +a rich but delicate glow, like the rose of twilight, and lighted by +dimples that twinkled like stars. His large and deep-blue eyes sparkled +with exultation, and an air of ill-suppressed mockery quivered round +his pouting lips. His light auburn hair, braided off his white forehead, +clustered in massy curls on each side of his face, and fell in sunny +torrents down his neck. And from the back of the beautiful youth there +fluttered forth two wings, the tremulous plumage of which seemed to have +been bathed in a sunset: so various, so radiant, and so novel were its +shifting and wondrous tints; purple, and crimson, and gold; streaks of +azure, dashes of orange and glossy black; now a single feather, +whiter than light, and sparkling like the frost, stars of emerald and +carbuncle, and then the prismatic blaze of an enormous brilliant! A +quiver hung at the side of the beautiful youth, and he leant upon a bow. + +'Oh! God, for God thou must be!' at length exclaimed Ixion. 'Do I behold +the bright divinity of Love?' + +'I am indeed Cupid,' replied the youth; 'and am curious to know what +Ixion is thinking about.' 'Thought is often bolder than speech.' +'Oracular, though a mortal! You need not be afraid to trust me. My aid +I am sure you must need. Who ever was found in a reverie on the +green turf, under the shade of spreading trees, without requiring the +assistance of Cupid? Come! be frank, who is the heroine? Some love-sick +nymph deserted on the far earth; or worse, some treacherous mistress, +whose frailty is more easily forgotten than her charms? 'Tis a miserable +situation, no doubt. It cannot be your wife?' + +'Assuredly not,' replied Ixion, with energy. + +'Another man's?' + +'No.' + +'What! an obdurate maiden?' + +Ixion shook his head. + +'It must be a widow, then,' continued Cupid. 'Who ever heard before of +such a piece of work about a widow!' + +'Have pity upon me, dread Cupid!' exclaimed the King of Thessaly, rising +suddenly from the ground, and falling on his knee before the God. +'Thou art the universal friend of man, and all nations alike throw their +incense on thy altars. Thy divine discrimination has not deceived thee. +I _am_ in love; desperately, madly, fatally enamoured. The object of my +passion is neither my own wife nor another man's. In spite of all they +have said and sworn, I am a moral member of society. She is neither a +maid nor a widow. She is------' + +'What? what?' exclaimed the impatient deity. + +'A Goddess!' replied the King. + +'Wheugh!' whistled Cupid. 'What! has my mischievous mother been +indulging you with an innocent flirtation?' + +'Yes; but it produced no effect upon me.' + +'You have a stout heart, then. Perhaps you have been reading poetry with +Minerva, and are caught in one of her Platonic man-traps.' + +'She set one, but I broke away.' + +'You have a stout leg, then. But where are you, where are you? Is it +Hebe? It can hardly be Diana, she is so cold. Is it a Muse, or is it one +of the Graces?' + +Ixion again shook his head. + +'Come, my dear fellow,' said Cupid, quite in a confidential tone, 'you +have told enough to make further reserve mere affectation. Ease your +heart at once, and if I can assist you, depend upon my exertions.' + +'Beneficent God!' exclaimed Ixion, 'if I ever return to Larissa, the +brightest temple in Greece shall hail thee for its inspiring deity. I +address thee with all the confiding frankness of a devoted votary. Know, +then, the heroine of my reverie was no less a personage than the Queen +of Heaven herself!' + +'Juno! by all that is sacred!' shouted Cupid. 'I am here,' responded +a voice of majestic melody. The stately form of the Queen of Heaven +advanced from a neighbouring bower. Ixion stood with his eyes fixed +upon the ground, with a throbbing heart and burning cheeks. Juno stood +motionless, pale, and astounded. The God of Love burst into excessive +laughter. + +[Illustration: page28] + +'A pretty pair!' he exclaimed, fluttering between both, and laughing +in their faces. 'Truly a pretty pair! Well! I see I am in your way. +Good-bye!' And so saying, the God pulled a couple of arrows from his +quiver, and with the rapidity of lightning shot one in the respective +breasts of the Queen of Heaven and the King of Thessaly. + +The amethystine twilight of Olympus died away. The stars blazed with +tints of every hue. Ixion and Juno returned to the palace. She leant +upon his arm; her eyes were fixed upon the ground; they were in sight of +the gorgeous pile, and yet she had not spoken. Ixion, too, was silent, +and gazed with abstraction upon the glowing sky. + +Suddenly, when within a hundred yards of the portal, Juno stopped, and +looking up into the face of Ixion with an irresistible smile, she +said, 'I am sure you cannot now refuse to tell me what the Queen of +Mesopotamia's peacock's tail was made of!' + +'It is impossible now,' said Ixion. 'Know, then, beautiful Goddess, that +the tail of the Queen of Mesopotamia's peacock was made of some plumage +she had stolen from the wings of Cupid.' + +'And what was the reason that prevented you from telling me before?' + +'Because, beautiful Juno, I am the most discreet of men, and respect the +secret of a lady, however trifling.' + +'I am glad to hear that,' replied Juno, and they re-entered the palace. + +Mercury met Juno and Ixion in the gallery leading to the grand +banqueting hall. + +'I was looking for you,' said the God, shaking his head. 'Jove is in a +sublime rage. Dinner has been ready this hour.' + +The King of Thessaly and the Queen of Heaven exchanged a glance and +entered the saloon. Jove looked up with a brow of thunder, but did not +condescend to send forth a single flash of anger. Jove looked up and +Jove looked down. All Olympus trembled as the Father of Gods and men +resumed his soup. The rest of the guests seemed nervous and reserved, +except Cupid, who said immediately to Juno, 'Your Majesty has been +detained?' + +'I fell asleep in a bower reading Apollo's last poem,' replied Juno. 'I +am lucky, however, in finding a companion in my negligence. Ixion, where +have you been?' + +'Take a glass of nectar, Juno,' said Cupid, with eyes twinkling with +mischief; 'and perhaps Ixion will join us.' + +This was the most solemn banquet ever celebrated in Olympus. Everyone +seemed out of humour or out of spirits. Jupiter spoke only in +monosyllables of suppressed rage, that sounded like distant thunder. +Apollo whispered to Minerva. Mercury never opened his lips, but +occasionally exchanged significant glances with Ganymede. Mars +compensated, by his attentions to Venus, for his want of conversation. +Cupid employed himself in asking disagreeable questions. At length +the Goddesses retired. Mercury exerted himself to amuse Jove, but the +Thunderer scarcely deigned to smile at his best stories. Mars picked +his teeth, Apollo played with his rings, Ixion was buried in a profound +reverie. + +It was a great relief to all when Ganymede summoned them to the presence +of their late companions. + +'I have written a comment upon your inscription,' said Minerva to Ixion, +'and am anxious for your opinion of it.' + +'I am a wretched critic,' said the King, breaking away from her. Juno +smiled upon him in the distance. + +'Ixion,' said Venus, as he passed by, 'come and talk to me.' + +The bold Thessalian blushed, he stammered out an unmeaning excuse, he +quitted the astonished but good-natured Goddess, and seated himself by +Juno, and as he seated himself his moody brow seemed suddenly illumined +with brilliant light. + +'Is it so?' said Venus. + +'Hem!' said Minerva. + +'Ha, ha!' said Cupid. + +Jupiter played piquette with Mercury. + +'Everything goes wrong to-day,' said the King of Heaven; 'cards +wretched, and kept waiting for dinner, and by-----a mortal!' + +'Your Majesty must not be surprised,' said the good-natured Mercury, +with whom Ixion was no favourite. 'Your Majesty must not be very much +surprised at the conduct of this creature. Considering what he is, and +where he is, I am only astonished that his head is not more turned than +it appears to be. A man, a thing made of mud, and in Heaven! Only think, +sire! Is it not enough to inflame the brain of any child of clay? To be +sure, keeping your Majesty from dinner is little short of celestial high +treason. I hardly expected that, indeed. To order me about, to treat +Ganymede as his own lacquey, and, in short, to command the whole +household; all this might be expected from such a person in such a +situation, but I confess I did think he had some little respect left for +your Majesty.' + +'And he does order you about, eh?' inquired Jove. 'I have the spades.' + +'Oh! 'tis quite ludicrous,' responded the son of Maia. 'Your Majesty +would not expect from me the offices that this upstart daily requires.' + +'Eternal destiny! is't possible? That is my trick. And Ganymede, too?' + +'Oh! quite shocking, I assure you, sire,' said the beautiful cupbearer, +leaning over the chair of Jove with all the easy insolence of a +privileged favourite. 'Really, sire, if Ixion is to go on in the way he +does, either he or I must quit.' + +'Is it possible?' exclaimed Jupiter. 'But I can believe anything of a +man who keeps me waiting for dinner. Two and three make five.' + +'It is Juno that encourages him so,' said Ganymede. + +'Does she encourage him?' inquired Jove. + +'Everybody notices it,' protested Ganymede. + +'It is indeed a little noticed,' observed Mercury. + +'What business has such a fellow to speak to Juno?' exclaimed Jove. 'A +mere mortal, a mere miserable mortal! You have the point. How I have +been deceived in this fellow! Who ever could have supposed that, +after all my generosity to him, he would ever have kept me waiting for +dinner?' + +'He was walking with Juno,' said Ganymede. 'It was all a sham about +their having met by accident. Cupid saw them.' + +'Ha!' said Jupiter, turning pale; 'you don't say so! Repiqued, as I am a +God. That is mine. Where is the Queen?' + +'Talking to Ixion, sire,' said Mercury. 'Oh, I beg your pardon, sire; I +did not know you meant the queen of diamonds.' + +'Never mind. I am repiqued, and I have been kept waiting for dinner. +Accursed be this day! Is Ixion really talking to Juno? We will not +endure this.' + +'Where is Juno?' demanded Jupiter. + +'I am sure I cannot say,' said Venus, with a smile. + +'I am sure I do not know,' said Minerva, with a sneer. + +'Where is Ixion?' said Cupid, laughing outright. + +'Mercury, Ganymede, find the Queen of Heaven instantly,' thundered the +Father of Gods and men. + +The celestial messenger and the heavenly page flew away out of different +doors. There was a terrible, an immortal silence. Sublime rage lowered +on the brow of Jove like a storm upon the mountain-top. Minerva seated +herself at the card-table and played at Patience. Venus and Cupid +tittered in the background. Shortly returned the envoys, Mercury looking +solemn, Ganymede malignant. + +'Well?' inquired Jove; and all Olympus trembled at the monosyllable. + +Mercury shook his head. + +'Her Majesty has been walking on the terrace with the King of Thessaly,' +replied Ganymede. + +'Where is she now, sir?' demanded Jupiter. + +Mercury shrugged his shoulders. + +'Her Majesty is resting herself in the pavilion of Cupid, with the King +of Thessaly,' replied Ganymede. + +'Confusion!' exclaimed the Father of Gods and men; and he rose and +seized a candle from the table, scattering the cards in all directions. +Every one present, Minerva and Venus, and Mars and Apollo, and Mercury +and Ganymede, and the Muses, and the Graces, and all the winged +genii--each seized a candle; rifling the chandeliers, each followed Jove. + +'This way,' said Mercury. + +'This way,' said Ganymede. + +'This way, this way!' echoed the celestial crowd. + +'Mischief!' cried Cupid; 'I must save my victims.' + +They were all upon the terrace. The Father of Gods and men, though both +in a passion and a hurry, moved with dignity. It was, as customary in +Heaven, a clear and starry night; but this eve Diana was indisposed, or +otherwise engaged, and there was no moonlight. They were in sight of the +pavilion. + +'What are you?' inquired Cupid of one of the genii, who accidentally +extinguished his candle. + +'I am a cloud,' answered the winged genius. + +'A cloud! Just the thing. Now do me a shrewd turn, and Cupid is ever +your debtor. Fly, fly, pretty cloud, and encompass yon pavilion with +your form. Away! ask no questions; swift as my word.' + +'I declare there is a fog,' said Venus. + +'An evening mist in Heaven!' said Minerva. + +'Where is Nox?' said Jove. 'Everything goes wrong. Who ever heard of a +mist in Heaven?' + +'My candle is out,' said Apollo. + +'And mine, too,' said Mars. + +'And mine, and mine, and mine,' said Mercury and Ganymede, and the Muses +and the Graces. + +'All the candles are out!' said Cupid; 'a regular fog. I cannot even see +the pavilion: it must be hereabouts, though,' said the God to himself. +'So, so; I should be at home in my own pavilion, and am tolerably +accustomed to stealing about in the dark. There is a step; and here, +surely, is the lock. The door opens, but the cloud enters before me. +Juno, Juno,' whispered the God of Love, 'we are all here. Be contented +to escape, like many other innocent dames, with your reputation only +under a cloud: it will soon disperse; and lo! the heaven is clearing.' + +'It must have been the heat of our flambeaux,' said Venus; 'for see, the +mist is vanished; here is the pavilion.' + +Ganymede ran forward, and dashed open the door. Ixion was alone. + +'Seize him!' said Jove. + +'Juno is not here,' said Mercury, with an air of blended congratulation +and disappointment. + +'Never mind,' said Jove; 'seize him! He kept me waiting for dinner.' + +'Is this your hospitality, AEgiochus?' exclaimed Ixion, in a tone of +bullying innocence. 'I shall defend myself.' + +'Seize him, seize him!' exclaimed Jupiter. 'What! do you all falter? Are +you afraid of a mortal?' + +'And a Thessalian?' added Ganymede. + +No one advanced. + +'Send for Hercules,' said Jove. + +'I will fetch him in an instant,' said Ganymede. + +'I protest,' said the King of Thessaly, 'against this violation of the +most sacred rights.' + +'The marriage tie?' said Mercury. + +'The dinner-hour?' said Jove. + +'It is no use talking sentiment to Ixion,' said Venus; 'all mortals are +callous.' + +'Adventures are to the adventurous,' said Minerva. + +'Here is Hercules! here is Hercules!' + +'Seize him!' said Jove; 'seize that man.' + +In vain the mortal struggled with the irresistible demigod. + +'Shall I fetch your thunderbolt, Jove?' inquired Ganymede. + +'Anything short of eternal punishment is unworthy of a God,' answered +Jupiter, with great dignity. 'Apollo, bring me a wheel of your +chariot.' + +'What shall I do to-morrow morning?' inquired the God of Light. + +'Order an eclipse,' replied Jove. 'Bind the insolent wretch to the +wheel; hurl him to Hades; its motion shall be perpetual.' + +'What am I to bind him with?' inquired Hercules. + +'The girdle of Venus,' replied the Thunderer. + +'What is all this?' inquired Juno, advancing, pale and agitated. + +'Come along; you shall see,' answered Jupiter. 'Follow me, follow me.' + +They all followed the leader, all the Gods, all the genii; in the midst, +the brawny husband of Hebe bearing Ixion aloft, bound to the fatal +wheel. They reached the terrace; they descended the sparkling steps of +lapis-lazuli. Hercules held his burthen on high, ready, at a nod, to +plunge the hapless but presumptuous mortal through space into Hades. The +heavenly group surrounded him, and peeped over the starry abyss. It was +a fine moral, and demonstrated the usual infelicity that attends unequal +connection. + +'Celestial despot!' said Ixion. + +In a moment all sounds were hushed, as they listened to the last words +of the unrivalled victim. Juno, in despair, leant upon the respective +arms of Venus and Minerva. + +'Celestial despot!' said Ixion, 'I defy the immortal ingenuity of thy +cruelty. My memory must be as eternal as thy torture: that will support +me.' + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Ixion In Heaven, by Benjamin Disraeli + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IXION IN HEAVEN *** + +***** This file should be named 20009.txt or 20009.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/0/0/0/20009/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +http://gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at +http://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at http://pglaf.org + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit http://pglaf.org + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. +To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + http://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. |