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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Ixion In Heaven, by Benjamin Disraeli
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Ixion In Heaven
+
+Author: Benjamin Disraeli
+
+Release Date: December 3, 2006 [EBook #20009]
+Last Updated: September 7, 2016
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: UTF-8
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IXION IN HEAVEN ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+IXION IN HEAVEN
+
+By Benjamin Disraeli
+
+
+
+
+     _ADVERTISEMENT_
+
+     _‘IXION, King of Thessaly, famous for its horses, married
+     Dia, daughter of Deioneus, who, in consequence of his son-
+     in-law’s non-fulfilment of his engagements, stole away some
+     of the monarch’s steeds. Ixion concealed his resentment
+     under the mask of friendship. He invited his father-in-law
+     to a feast at Larissa, the capital of his kingdom; and when
+     Deioneus arrived according to his appointment, he threw him
+     into a pit which he had previously filled with burning
+     coals. This treachery so irritated the neighbouring princes,
+     that all of them refused to perform the usual ceremony, by
+     which a man was then purified of murder, and Ixion was
+     shunned and despised by all mankind. Jupiter had compassion
+     upon him, carried him to Heaven, and introduced him to the
+     Father of the Gods. Such a favour, which ought to have
+     awakened gratitude in Ixion, only served to inflame his bad
+     passions; he became enamoured of Juno, and attempted to
+     seduce her. Juno was willing to gratify the passion of
+     Ixion, though, according to others,’ &c.--Classical
+     Dictionary, art. ‘Ixion.’_
+
+
+
+
+IXION IN HEAVEN
+
+
+
+
+PART I.
+
+     _An Errant King_
+
+THE thunder groaned, the wind howled, the rain fell in hissing torrents,
+impenetrable darkness covered the earth. A blue and forky flash darted a
+momentary light over the landscape. A Doric temple rose in the centre of
+a small and verdant plain, surrounded on all sides by green and hanging
+woods.
+
+‘Jove is my only friend,’ exclaimed a wanderer, as he muffled himself up
+in his mantle; ‘and were it not for the porch of his temple, this night,
+methinks, would complete the work of my loving wife and my dutiful
+subjects.’
+
+The thunder died away, the wind sank into silence, the rain ceased, and
+the parting clouds exhibited the glittering crescent of the young moon.
+A sonorous and majestic voice sounded from the skies:--
+
+‘Who art thou that hast no other friend than Jove?’ ‘One whom all
+mankind unite in calling a wretch.’ ‘Art thou a philosopher?’
+
+‘If philosophy be endurance. But for the rest, I was sometime a king,
+and am now a scatterling.’ ‘How do they call thee? ‘Ixion of Thessaly.’
+
+‘Ixion of Thessaly! I thought he was a happy man. I heard that he was
+just married.’
+
+‘Father of Gods and men! for I deem thee such, Thessaly is not Olympus.
+Conjugal felicity is only the portion of the immortals!’
+
+‘Hem! What! was Dia jealous, which is common; or false, which is
+commoner; or both, which is commonest?’
+
+‘It may be neither. We quarrelled about nothing. Where there is little
+sympathy, or too much, the splitting of a straw is plot enough for a
+domestic tragedy. I was careless, her friends stigmatised me as callous;
+she cold, her friends styled her magnanimous. Public opinion was all
+on her side, merely because I did not choose that the world should
+interfere between me and my wife. Dia took the world’s advice upon every
+point, and the world decided that she always acted rightly. However,
+life is life, either in a palace or a cave. I am glad you ordered it to
+leave off thundering.’
+
+‘A cool dog this. And Dia left thee? ‘No; I left her.’ ‘What, craven?’
+
+‘Not exactly. The truth is-----‘tis a long story.
+
+I was over head and ears in debt.’
+
+‘Ah! that accounts for everything. Nothing so harassing as a want of
+money! But what lucky fellows you mortals are with your _post-obits!_
+We Immortals are deprived of this resource. I was obliged to get up a
+rebellion against my father, because he kept me so short, and could not
+die.’
+
+‘You could have married for money. I did.’ ‘I had no opportunity, there
+was so little female society in those days. When I came out, there were
+no heiresses except the Parcae, confirmed old maids; and no very rich
+dowager, except my grandmother, old Terra.’
+
+‘Just the thing; the older the better. However, I married Dia, the
+daughter of Deioneus, with a prodigious portion; but after the ceremony
+the old gentleman would not fulfil his part of the contract without
+my giving up my stud. Can you conceive anything more unreasonable? I
+smothered my resentment at the time; for the truth is, my tradesmen all
+renewed my credit on the strength of the match, and so we went on
+very well for a year; but at last they began to smell a rat, and grew
+importunate. I entreated Dia to interfere; but she was a paragon of
+daughters, and always took the side of her father. If she had only been
+dutiful to her husband, she would have been a perfect woman. At last
+I invited Deioneus to the Larissa races, with the intention of
+conciliating him. The unprincipled old man bought the horse that I
+had backed, and by which I intended to have redeemed my fortunes, and
+withdrew it. My book was ruined. I dissembled my rage. I dug a pit in
+our garden, and filled it with burning coals. As my father-in-law and
+myself were taking a stroll after dinner, the worthy Deioneus fell in,
+merely by accident. Dia proclaimed me the murderer of her father, and,
+as a satisfaction to her wounded feelings, earnestly requested her
+subjects to decapitate her husband. She certainly was the best of
+daughters. There was no withstanding public opinion, an infuriated
+rabble, and a magnanimous wife at the same time. They surrounded my
+palace: I cut my way through the greasy-capped multitude, sword in hand,
+and gained a neighbouring Court, where I solicited my brother princes
+to purify me from the supposed murder. If I had only murdered a subject,
+they would have supported me against the people; but Deioneus being a
+crowned head, like themselves, they declared they would not countenance
+so immoral a being as his son-in-law. And so, at length, after much
+wandering, and shunned by all my species, I am here, Jove, in much
+higher society than I ever expected to mingle.’
+
+‘Well, thou art a frank dog, and in a sufficiently severe scrape. The
+Gods must have pity on those for whom men have none. It is evident that
+Earth is too hot for thee at present, so I think thou hadst better come
+and stay a few weeks with us in Heaven.’ ‘Take my thanks for hecatombs,
+great Jove. Thou art, indeed, a God!’
+
+‘I hardly know whether our life will suit you. We dine at sunset; for
+Apollo is so much engaged that he cannot join us sooner, and no dinner
+goes off well without him. In the morning you are your own master, and
+must find amusement where you can. Diana will show you some tolerable
+sport. Do you shoot?’
+
+‘No arrow surer. Fear not for me, Ægiochus: I am always at home. But
+how am I to get to you?’ ‘I will send Mercury; he is the best travelling
+companion in the world. What ho! my Eagle!’
+
+The clouds joined, and darkness again fell over the earth.
+
+‘So! tread softly. Don’t be nervous. Are you sick?’
+
+‘A little nausea; ‘tis nothing.’
+
+‘The novelty of the motion. The best thing is a beefsteak. We will stop
+at Taurus and take one.’
+
+‘You have been a great traveller, Mercury?’
+
+‘I have seen the world.’
+
+‘Ah! a wondrous spectacle. I long to travel.’
+
+‘The same thing over and over again. Little novelty and much change. I
+am wearied with exertion, and if I could get a pension would retire.’
+
+‘And yet travel brings wisdom.’
+
+‘It cures us of care. Seeing much we feel little, and learn how very
+petty are all those great affairs which cost us such anxiety.’
+
+‘I feel that already myself. Floating in this blue aether, what the
+devil is my wife to me, and her dirty Earth! My persecuting enemies seem
+so many pismires; and as for my debts, which have occasioned me so many
+brooding moments, honour and infamy, credit and beggary, seem to me
+alike ridiculous.’
+
+‘Your mind is opening, Ixion. You will soon be a man of the world. To
+the left, and keep clear of that star.’
+
+‘Who lives there?’
+
+‘The Fates know, not I. Some low people who are trying to shine into
+notice. ‘Tis a parvenu planet, and only sprung into space within this
+century. We do not visit them.’
+
+‘Poor devils! I feel hungry.’
+
+‘All right. We shall get into Heaven by the first dinner bolt. You
+cannot arrive at a strange house at a better moment. We shall just have
+time to dress. I would not spoil my appetite by luncheon. Jupiter keeps
+a capital cook.’
+
+‘I have heard of Nectar and Ambrosia.’ ‘Poh! nobody touches them.
+They are regular old-fashioned celestial food, and merely put upon the
+side-table. Nothing goes down in Heaven now but infernal cookery. We
+took our chef from Proserpine.’
+
+‘Were you ever in Hell?’
+
+‘Several times. ‘Tis the fashion now among the Olympians to pass the
+winter there.’ ‘Is this the season in Heaven?’ ‘Yes; you are lucky.
+Olympus is quite full.’ ‘It was kind of Jupiter to invite me.’ ‘Ay! he
+has his good points. And, no doubt, he has taken a liking to you, which
+is all very well. But be upon your guard. He has no heart, and is as
+capricious as he is tyrannical.’
+
+‘Gods cannot be more unkind to me than men have been.’
+
+‘All those who have suffered think they have seen the worst. A great
+mistake. However, you are now in the high road to preferment, so we will
+not be dull. There are some good fellows enough amongst us. You will
+like old Neptune.’ ‘Is he there now?’
+
+‘Yes, he generally passes his summer with us. There is little stirring
+in the ocean at that season.’ ‘I am anxious to see Mars.’
+
+‘Oh! a brute, more a bully than a hero. Not at all in the best set.
+These mustachioed gentry are by no means the rage at present in Olympus.
+The women are all literary now, and Minerva has quite eclipsed Venus.
+Apollo is our hero. You must read his last work.’
+
+‘I hate reading.’
+
+‘So do I. I have no time, and seldom do anything in that way but glance
+at a newspaper. Study and action will not combine.’
+
+‘I suppose I shall find the Goddesses very proud?’
+
+‘You will find them as you find women below, of different dispositions
+with the same object. Venus is a flirt; Minerva a prude, who fancies she
+has a correct taste and a strong mind; and Juno a politician. As for the
+rest, faint heart never won fair lady; take a friendly hint, and do not
+be alarmed.’
+
+‘I fear nothing. My mind mounts with my fortunes. We are above the
+clouds. They form beneath us a vast and snowy region, dim and irregular,
+as I have sometimes seen them clustering upon the horizon’s ridge at
+sunset, like a raging sea stilled by some sudden supernatural frost
+and frozen into form! How bright the air above us, and how delicate
+its fragrant breath! I scarcely breathe, and yet my pulses beat like
+my first youth. I hardly feel my being. A splendour falls upon your
+presence. You seem, indeed, a God! Am I so glorious? This, this is
+Heaven!’
+
+The travellers landed on a vast flight of sparkling steps of
+lapis-lazuli. Ascending, they entered beautiful gardens; winding
+walks that yielded to the feet, and accelerated your passage by their
+rebounding pressure; fragrant shrubs covered with dazzling flowers, the
+fleeting tints of which changed every moment; groups of tall trees, with
+strange birds of brilliant and variegated plumage, singing and reposing
+in their sheeny foliage, and fountains of perfumes.
+
+Before them rose an illimitable and golden palace, with high spreading
+domes of pearl, and long windows of crystal. Around the huge portal of
+ruby was ranged a company of winged genii, who smiled on Mercury as he
+passed them with his charge.
+
+‘The Father of Gods and men is dressing,’ said the son of Maia. ‘I shall
+attend his toilet and inform him of your arrival. These are your rooms.
+Dinner will be ready in half an hour. I will call for you as I go down.
+You can be formally presented in the evening. At that time, inspired by
+liqueurs and his matchless band of wind instruments, you will agree with
+the world that Ægiochus is the most finished God in existence.’
+
+‘Now, Ixion, are you ready?’ ‘Even so. What says Jove?’ ‘He smiled, but
+said nothing. He was trying on a new robe. By this time he is seated.
+Hark! the thunder. Come on!’
+
+They entered a cupolaed hall. Seats of ivory and gold were ranged round
+a circular table of cedar, inlaid with the campaigns against the Titans,
+in silver exquisitely worked, a nuptial present of Vulcan. The service
+of gold plate threw all the ideas of the King of Thessaly as to royal
+magnificence into the darkest shade. The enormous plateau represented
+the constellations. Ixion viewed the Father of Gods and men with great
+interest, who, however, did not notice him. He acknowledged the majesty
+of that countenance whose nod shook Olympus. Majestically robust and
+luxuriantly lusty, his tapering waist was evidently immortal, for it
+defied Time, and his splendid auburn curls, parted on his forehead
+with celestial precision, descended over cheeks glowing with the purple
+radiancy of perpetual manhood.
+
+The haughty Juno was seated on his left hand and Ceres on his right. For
+the rest of the company there was Neptune, Latona, Minerva, and Apollo,
+and when Mercury and Ixion had taken their places, one seat was still
+vacant.
+
+‘Where is Diana?’ inquired Jupiter, with a frown.
+
+‘My sister is hunting,’ said Apollo.
+
+‘She is always too late for dinner,’ said Jupiter. ‘No habit is less
+Goddess-like.’
+
+‘Godlike pursuits cannot be expected to induce Goddess-like manners,’
+said Juno, with a sneer.
+
+‘I have no doubt Diana will be here directly,’ said Latona, mildly.
+
+Jupiter seemed pacified, and at that instant the absent guest returned.
+
+‘Good sport, Di?’ inquired Neptune.
+
+‘Very fair, uncle. Mamma,’ continued the sister of Apollo, addressing
+herself to Juno, whom she ever thus styled when she wished to conciliate
+her, ‘I have brought you a new peacock.’
+
+Juno was fond of pets, and was conciliated by the present.
+
+‘Bacchus made a great noise about this wine, Mercury,’ said Jupiter,’
+but I think with little cause. What think you?’
+
+‘It pleases me, but I am fatigued, and then all wine is agreeable.’
+
+‘You have had a long journey,’ replied the Thunderer. ‘Ixion, I am glad
+to see you in Heaven.’
+
+‘Your Majesty arrived to-day?’ inquired Minerva, to whom the King of
+Thessaly sat next.
+
+‘Within this hour.’
+
+‘You must leave off talking of Time now,’ said Minerva, with a severe
+smile. ‘Pray is there anything new in Greece?’
+
+‘I have not been at all in society lately.’
+
+‘No new edition of Homer? I admire him exceedingly.’
+
+‘All about Greece interests me,’ said Apollo, who, although handsome,
+was a somewhat melancholy lack-a-daisical looking personage, with his
+shirt collar thrown open, and his long curls theatrically arranged.
+‘All about Greece interests me. I always consider Greece my peculiar
+property. My best poems were written at Delphi. I travelled in Greece
+when I was young. I envy mankind.’
+
+‘Indeed!’ said Ixion.
+
+‘Yes: they at least can look forward to a termination of the ennui of
+existence, but for us Celestials there is no prospect. Say what they
+like, immortality is a bore.’
+
+‘You eat nothing, Apollo,’ said Ceres.
+
+‘Nor drink,’ said Neptune.
+
+‘To eat, to drink, what is it but to live; and what is life but death,
+if death be that which all men deem it, a thing insufferable, and to
+be shunned. I refresh myself now only with soda-water and biscuits.
+Ganymede, bring some.’
+
+Now, although the _cuisine_ of Olympus was considered perfect, the
+forlorn poet had unfortunately fixed upon the only two articles which
+were not comprised in its cellar or larder. In Heaven, there was neither
+soda-water nor biscuits. A great confusion consequently ensued; but at
+length the bard, whose love of fame was only equalled by his horror of
+getting fat, consoled himself with a swan stuffed with truffles, and a
+bottle of strong Tenedos wine.
+
+‘What do you think of Homer?’ inquired Minerva of Apollo. ‘Is he not
+delightful?’
+
+‘If you think so.’
+
+‘Nay, I am desirous of your opinion.’
+
+‘Then you should not have given me yours, for your taste is too fine for
+me to dare to differ with it.’
+
+‘I have suspected, for some time, that you are rather a heretic’
+
+‘Why, the truth is,’ replied Apollo, playing with his rings, ‘I do not
+think much of Homer. Homer was not esteemed in his own age, and our
+contemporaries are generally our best judges. The fact is, there are
+very few people who are qualified to decide upon matters of taste. A
+certain set, for certain reasons, resolve to cry up a certain writer,
+and the great mass soon join in. All is cant. And the present admiration
+of Homer is not less so. They say I have borrowed a great deal from him.
+The truth is, I never read Homer since I was a child, and I thought of
+him then what I think of him now, a writer of some wild irregular power,
+totally deficient in taste. Depend upon it, our contemporaries are our
+best judges, and his contemporaries decided that Homer was nothing.
+A great poet cannot be kept down. Look at my case. Marsyas said of my
+first volume that it was pretty good poetry for a God, and in answer I
+wrote a satire, and flayed Marsyas alive. But what is poetry, and what
+is criticism, and what is life? Air. And what is air? Do you know? I
+don’t. All is mystery, and all is gloom, and ever and anon from out the
+clouds a star breaks forth, and glitters, and that star is Poetry.’
+
+‘Splendid!’ exclaimed Minerva.
+
+‘I do not exactly understand you,’ said Neptune.
+
+‘Have you heard from Proserpine, lately?’ inquired Jupiter of Ceres.
+
+‘Yesterday,’ said the domestic mother. ‘They talk of soon joining us.
+But Pluto is at present so busy, owing to the amazing quantity of
+wars going on now, that I am almost afraid he will scarcely be able to
+accompany her.’
+
+Juno exchanged a telegraphic nod with Ceres. The Goddesses rose, and
+retired.
+
+‘Come, old boy,’ said Jupiter to Ixion, instantly throwing off all his
+chivalric majesty, ‘I drink your welcome in a magnum of Maraschino.
+Damn your poetry, Apollo, and, Mercury, give us one of your good
+stories.’
+
+‘Well! what do you think of him?’ asked Juno.
+
+‘He appears to have a fine mind,’ said Minerva.
+
+‘Poh! he has very fine eyes,’ said Juno.
+
+‘He seems a very nice, quiet young gentleman,’ said Ceres.
+
+‘I have no doubt he is very amiable,’ said Latona.
+
+‘He must have felt very strange,’ said Diana.
+
+Hercules arrived with his bride Hebe; soon after the Graces dropped in,
+the most delightful personages in the world for a _soiree_, so useful
+and ready for anything. Afterwards came a few of the Muses, Thalia,
+Melpomene, and Terpsichore, famous for a charade or a proverb. Jupiter
+liked to be amused in the evening. Bacchus also came, but finding that
+the Gods had not yet left their wine, retired to pay them a visit.
+
+Ganymede announced coffee in the saloon of Juno. Jupiter was in superb
+good humour. He was amused by his mortal guest. He had condescended
+to tell one of his best stories in his best style, about Leda, not too
+scandalous, but gay.
+
+‘Those were bright days,’ said Neptune.
+
+‘We can remember,’ said the Thunderer, with a twinkling eye. ‘These
+youths have fallen upon duller times. There are no fine women now.
+Ixion, I drink to the health of your wife.’
+
+‘With all my heart, and may we never be nearer than we are at present.’
+
+‘Good! i’faith; Apollo, your arm. Now for the ladies. La, la, la, la!
+la, la, la, la!’
+
+The Thunderer entered the saloon of Juno with that bow which no God
+could rival; all rose, and the King of Heaven seated himself between
+Ceres and Latona. The melancholy Apollo stood apart, and was soon
+carried off by Minerva to an assembly at the house of Mnemosyne.
+Mercury chatted with the Graces, and Bacchus with Diana. The three Muses
+favoured the company with singing, and the Queen of Heaven approached
+Ixion.
+
+‘Does your Majesty dance?’ she haughtily inquired.
+
+‘On earth; I have few accomplishments even there, and none in Heaven.’
+
+‘You have led a strange life! I have heard of your adventures.’
+
+‘A king who has lost his crown may generally gain at least experience.’
+
+‘Your courage is firm.’
+
+‘I have felt too much to care for much. Yesterday I was a vagabond
+exposed to every pitiless storm, and now I am the guest of Jove. While
+there is life there is hope, and he who laughs at Destiny will gain
+Fortune. I would go through the past again to enjoy the present, and
+feel that, after all, I am my wife’s debtor, since, through her conduct,
+I can gaze upon you.’
+
+‘No great spectacle. If that be all. I wish you better fortune.’
+
+‘I desire no greater.’
+
+‘You are moderate.’
+
+‘I am perhaps more unreasonable than you imagine.’
+
+‘Indeed!’
+
+Their eyes met; the dark orbs of the Thessalian did not quail before the
+flashing vision of the Goddess. Juno grew pale. Juno turned away.
+
+
+
+
+PART II.
+
+     _‘Others say it was only a cloud.’_
+
+     _A Mortal Among the Gods._
+
+MERCURY and Ganymede were each lolling on an opposite couch in the
+antechamber of Olympus.
+
+‘It is wonderful,’ said the son of Maia, yawning. ‘It is incredible,’
+rejoined the cupbearer of Jove, stretching his legs.
+
+‘A miserable mortal!’ exclaimed the God, elevating his eyebrows.
+
+‘A vile Thessalian!’ said the beautiful Phrygian, shrugging his
+shoulders.
+
+‘Not three days back an outcast among his own wretched species!’
+
+‘And now commanding everybody in Heaven.’ ‘He shall not command me,
+though,’ said Mercury.
+
+‘Will he not?’ replied Ganymede. ‘Why, what do you think? only last
+night; hark! here he comes.’
+
+The companions jumped up from their couches; a light laugh was heard.
+The cedar portal was flung open, and Ixion lounged in, habited in a
+loose morning robe, and kicking before him one of his slippers. ‘Ah!’
+exclaimed the King of Thessaly, ‘the very fellows I wanted to see!
+Ganymede, bring me some nectar; and, Mercury, run and tell Jove that I
+shall not dine at home to-day.’
+
+The messenger and the page exchanged looks of indignant consternation.
+
+‘Well! what are you waiting for?’ continued Ixion, looking round from
+the mirror in which he was arranging his locks. The messenger and the
+page disappeared.
+
+‘So! this is Heaven,’ exclaimed the husband of Dia, flinging himself
+upon one of the couches; ‘and a very pleasant place too. These worthy
+Immortals required their minds to be opened, and I trust I have
+effectually performed the necessary operation. They wanted to keep me
+down with their dull old-fashioned celestial airs, but I fancy I have
+given them change for their talent. To make your way in Heaven you
+must command. These exclusives sink under the audacious invention of
+an aspiring mind. Jove himself is really a fine old fellow, with some
+notions too. I am a prime favourite, and no one is greater authority
+with Ægiochus on all subjects, from the character of the fair sex or
+the pedigree of a courser, down to the cut of a robe or the flavour of a
+dish. Thanks, Ganymede,’ continued the Thessalian, as he took the goblet
+from his returning attendant.
+
+‘I drink to your _bonnes fortunes_. Splendid! This nectar makes me feel
+quite immortal. By-the-bye, I hear sweet sounds. Who is in the Hall of
+Music?’
+
+‘The Goddesses, royal sir, practise a new air of Euterpe, the words by
+Apollo. ‘Tis pretty, and will doubtless be very popular, for it is all
+about moonlight and the misery of existence.’
+
+‘I warrant it.’
+
+‘You have a taste for poetry yourself?’ inquired Ganymede.
+
+‘Not the least,’ replied Ixion.
+
+‘Apollo,’ continued the heavenly page, ‘is a great genius, though
+Marsyas said that he never would be a poet because he was a God, and had
+no heart. But do you think, sir, that a poet does indeed need a heart?’
+
+‘I really cannot say. I know my wife always said I had a bad heart
+and worse head; but what she meant, upon my honour I never could
+understand.’
+
+‘Minerva will ask you to write in her album.’
+
+‘Will she indeed! I am sorry to hear it, for I can scarcely scrawl my
+signature. I should think that Jove himself cared little for all this
+nonsense.’
+
+‘Jove loves an epigram. He does not esteem Apollo’s works at all. Jove
+is of the classical school, and admires satire, provided there be no
+allusions to Gods and kings.’
+
+‘Of course; I quite agree with him. I remember we had a confounded poet
+at Larissa who proved my family lived before the deluge, and asked me
+for a pension. I refused him, and then he wrote an epigram asserting
+that I sprang from the veritable stones thrown by Deucalion and Pyrrha
+at the re-peopling of the earth, and retained all the properties of my
+ancestors.’
+
+‘Ha, ha! Hark! there’s a thunderbolt! I must run to Jove.’
+
+‘And I will look in on the musicians. This way, I think?’
+
+‘Up the ruby staircase, turn to your right, down the amethyst gallery.
+Farewell!’
+
+‘Good-bye; a lively lad that!’
+
+The King of Thessaly entered the Hall of Music with its golden walls
+and crystal dome. The Queen of Heaven was reclining in an easy chair,
+cutting out peacocks in small sheets of note paper. Minerva was making
+a pencil observation on a manuscript copy of the song: Apollo listened
+with deference to her laudatory criticisms. Another divine dame,
+standing by the side of Euterpe, who was seated by the harp, looked
+up as Ixion entered. The wild liquid glance of her soft but radiant
+countenance denoted the famed Goddess of Beauty.
+
+Juno just acknowledged the entrance of Ixion by a slight and haughty
+inclination of the head, and then resumed her employment. Minerva asked
+him his opinion of her amendment, of which he greatly approved. Apollo
+greeted him with a melancholy smile, and congratulated him on being
+mortal. Venus complimented him on his visit to Olympus, and expressed
+the pleasure that she experienced in making his acquaintance.
+
+‘What do you think of Heaven?’ inquired Venus, in a soft still voice,
+and with a smile like summer lightning.
+
+‘I never found it so enchanting as at this moment,’ replied Ixion.
+
+‘A little dull? For myself, I pass my time chiefly at Cnidos: you must
+come and visit me there. ‘Tis the most charming place in the world. ‘Tis
+said, you know, that our onions are like other people’s roses. We will
+take care of you, if your wife come.’
+
+‘No fear of that. She always remains at home and piques herself on
+her domestic virtues, which means pickling, and quarrelling with her
+husband.’
+
+‘Ah! I see you are a droll. Very good indeed. Well, for my part, I like
+a watering-place existence. Cnidos, Paphos, Cythera; you will usually
+find me at one of these places. I like the easy distraction of a career
+without any visible result. At these fascinating spots your gloomy race,
+to whom, by-the-bye, I am exceedingly partial, appear emancipated from
+the wearing fetters of their regular, dull, orderly, methodical, moral,
+political, toiling existence. I pride myself upon being the Goddess of
+watering-places. You really must pay me a visit at Cnidos.’
+
+‘Such an invitation requires no repetition. And Cnidos is your favourite
+spot?’
+
+‘Why, it was so; but of late it has become so inundated with invalid
+Asiatics and valetudinarian Persians, that the simultaneous influx of
+the handsome heroes who swarm in from the islands to look after their
+daughters, scarcely compensates for the annoying presence of their
+yellow faces and shaking limbs. No, I think, on the whole, Paphos is my
+favourite.’
+
+‘I have heard of its magnificent luxury.’
+
+‘Oh! ‘tis lovely! Quite my idea of country life. Not a single tree! When
+Cyprus is very hot, you run to Paphos for a sea-breeze, and are sure to
+meet every one whose presence is in the least desirable. All the bores
+remain behind, as if by instinct.’
+
+‘I remember when we married, we talked of passing the honeymoon at
+Cythera, but Dia would have her waiting-maid and a bandbox stuffed
+between us in the chariot, so I got sulky after the first stage, and
+returned by myself.’
+
+‘You were quite right. I hate bandboxes: they are always in the way.
+You would have liked Cythera if you had been in the least in love.
+High rocks and green knolls, bowery woods, winding walks, and delicious
+sunsets. I have not been there much of late,’ continued the Goddess,
+looking somewhat sad and serious, ‘since--but I will not talk
+sentiment to Ixion.’
+
+‘Do you think, then, I am insensible?’
+
+‘Yes.’
+
+‘Perhaps you are right. We mortals grow callous.’
+
+‘So I have heard. How very odd!’ So saying, the Goddess glided away and
+saluted Mars, who at that moment entered the hall. Ixion was presented
+to the military hero, who looked fierce and bowed stiffly. The King of
+Thessaly turned upon his heel. Minerva opened her album, and invited him
+to inscribe a stanza.
+
+‘Goddess of Wisdom,’ replied the King, ‘unless you inspire me, the
+virgin page must remain pure as thyself. I can scarcely sign a decree.’
+
+‘Is it Ixion of Thessaly who says this; one who has seen so much,
+and, if I am not mistaken, has felt and thought so much? I can easily
+conceive why such a mind may desire to veil its movements from the
+common herd, but pray concede to Minerva the gratifying compliment
+of assuring her that she is the exception for whom this rule has been
+established.’
+
+‘I seem to listen to the inspired music of an oracle. Give me a pen!
+
+‘Here is one, plucked from a sacred owl.’ ‘So! I write. There! Will it
+do?’ Minerva read the inscription:--
+
+     _I HAVE SEEN THE WORLD, AND MORE THAN THE WORLD:
+     I HAVE STUDIED THE HEART OF MAN,
+     AND NOW I CONSORT WITH IMMORTALS.
+     THE FRUIT OF MY TREE OF   KNOWLEDGE   IS   PLUCKED,
+      AND  IT  IS  THIS,
+     ‘Adventures are to the Adventurous.’
+     Written in the Album of Minerva, by
+     Ixion in Heaven._
+
+‘’Tis brief,’ said the Goddess, with a musing air, ‘but full of meaning.
+You have a daring soul and pregnant mind.’
+
+‘I have dared much: what I may produce we have yet to see.’
+
+‘I must to Jove,’ said Minerva, ‘to council. We shall meet again.
+Farewell, Ixion.’
+
+‘Farewell, Glaucopis.’
+
+The King of Thessaly stood away from the remaining guests, and leant
+with folded arms and pensive brow against a wreathed column. Mars
+listened to Venus with an air of deep devotion. Euterpe played an
+inspiring accompaniment to their conversation. The Queen of Heaven
+seemed engrossed in the creation of her paper peacocks.
+
+Ixion advanced and seated himself on a couch near Juno. His manner was
+divested of that reckless bearing and careless coolness by which it was
+in general distinguished. He was, perhaps, even a little embarrassed.
+His ready tongue deserted him. At length he spoke.
+
+‘Has your Majesty ever heard of the peacock of the Queen of
+Mesopotamia?’
+
+‘No,’ replied Juno, with stately reserve; and then she added with an air
+of indifferent curiosity, ‘Is it in any way remarkable?’
+
+‘Its breast is of silver, its wings of gold, its eyes of carbuncle, its
+claws of amethyst.’
+
+‘And its tail?’ eagerly inquired Juno.
+
+‘That is a secret,’ replied Ixion. ‘The tail is the most wonderful part
+of all.’
+
+‘Oh! tell me, pray tell me!’
+
+‘I forget.’
+
+‘No, no, no; it is impossible!’ exclaimed the animated Juno.
+‘Provoking mortal!’ continued the Goddess. ‘Let me entreat you; tell me
+immediately.’
+
+‘There is a reason which prevents me.’
+
+‘What can it be? How very odd! What reason can it possibly be? Now tell
+me; as a particular, a personal favour, I request you, do tell me.’
+
+‘What! The tail or the reason? The tail is wonderful, but the reason is
+much more so. I can only tell one. Now choose.’
+
+‘What provoking things these human beings are! The tail is wonderful,
+but the reason is much more so. Well then, the reason; no, the tail.
+Stop, now, as a particular favour, pray tell me both. What can the
+tail be made of and what can the reason be? I am literally dying of
+curiosity.’
+
+‘Your Majesty has cut out that peacock wrong,’ remarked Ixion. ‘It is
+more like one of Minerva’s owls.’
+
+‘Who cares about paper peacocks, when the Queen of Mesopotamia has got
+such a miracle!’ exclaimed Juno; and she tore the labours of the morning
+to pieces, and threw away the fragments with vexation. ‘Now tell me
+instantly; if you have the slightest regard for me, tell me instantly.
+What was the tail made of?’
+
+‘And you do not wish to hear the reason?’
+
+‘That afterwards. Now! I am all ears.’ At this moment Ganymede entered,
+and whispered the Goddess, who rose in evident vexation, and retired to
+the presence of Jove.
+
+The King of Thessaly quitted the Hall of Music. Moody, yet not
+uninfluenced by a degree of wild excitement, he wandered forth into the
+gardens of Olympus. He came to a beautiful green retreat surrounded by
+enormous cedars, so vast that it seemed they must have been coeval with
+the creation; so fresh and brilliant, you would have deemed them wet
+with the dew of their first spring. The turf, softer than down, and
+exhaling, as you pressed it, an exquisite perfume, invited him to
+recline himself upon this natural couch. He threw himself upon the
+aromatic herbage, and leaning on his arm, fell into a deep reverie.
+
+Hours flew away; the sunshiny glades that opened in the distance had
+softened into shade.
+
+‘Ixion, how do you do?’ inquired a voice, wild, sweet, and thrilling as
+a bird. The King of Thessaly started and looked up with the distracted
+air of a man roused from a dream, or from complacent meditation over
+some strange, sweet secret. His cheek was flushed, his dark eyes flashed
+fire; his brow trembled, his dishevelled hair played in the fitful
+breeze. The King of Thessaly looked up, and beheld a most beautiful
+youth.
+
+Apparently, he had attained about the age of puberty. His stature,
+however, was rather tall for his age, but exquisitely moulded and
+proportioned. Very fair, his somewhat round cheeks were tinted with
+a rich but delicate glow, like the rose of twilight, and lighted by
+dimples that twinkled like stars. His large and deep-blue eyes sparkled
+with exultation, and an air of ill-suppressed mockery quivered round
+his pouting lips. His light auburn hair, braided off his white forehead,
+clustered in massy curls on each side of his face, and fell in sunny
+torrents down his neck. And from the back of the beautiful youth there
+fluttered forth two wings, the tremulous plumage of which seemed to have
+been bathed in a sunset: so various, so radiant, and so novel were its
+shifting and wondrous tints; purple, and crimson, and gold; streaks of
+azure, dashes of orange and glossy black; now a single feather,
+whiter than light, and sparkling like the frost, stars of emerald and
+carbuncle, and then the prismatic blaze of an enormous brilliant! A
+quiver hung at the side of the beautiful youth, and he leant upon a bow.
+
+‘Oh! God, for God thou must be!’ at length exclaimed Ixion. ‘Do I behold
+the bright divinity of Love?’
+
+‘I am indeed Cupid,’ replied the youth; ‘and am curious to know what
+Ixion is thinking about.’ ‘Thought is often bolder than speech.’
+‘Oracular, though a mortal! You need not be afraid to trust me. My aid
+I am sure you must need. Who ever was found in a reverie on the
+green turf, under the shade of spreading trees, without requiring the
+assistance of Cupid? Come! be frank, who is the heroine? Some love-sick
+nymph deserted on the far earth; or worse, some treacherous mistress,
+whose frailty is more easily forgotten than her charms? ‘Tis a miserable
+situation, no doubt. It cannot be your wife?’
+
+‘Assuredly not,’ replied Ixion, with energy.
+
+‘Another man’s?’
+
+‘No.’
+
+‘What! an obdurate maiden?’
+
+Ixion shook his head.
+
+‘It must be a widow, then,’ continued Cupid. ‘Who ever heard before of
+such a piece of work about a widow!’
+
+‘Have pity upon me, dread Cupid!’ exclaimed the King of Thessaly, rising
+suddenly from the ground, and falling on his knee before the God.
+‘Thou art the universal friend of man, and all nations alike throw their
+incense on thy altars. Thy divine discrimination has not deceived thee.
+I _am_ in love; desperately, madly, fatally enamoured. The object of my
+passion is neither my own wife nor another man’s. In spite of all they
+have said and sworn, I am a moral member of society. She is neither a
+maid nor a widow. She is------’
+
+‘What? what?’ exclaimed the impatient deity.
+
+‘A Goddess!’ replied the King.
+
+‘Wheugh!’ whistled Cupid. ‘What! has my mischievous mother been
+indulging you with an innocent flirtation?’
+
+‘Yes; but it produced no effect upon me.’
+
+‘You have a stout heart, then. Perhaps you have been reading poetry with
+Minerva, and are caught in one of her Platonic man-traps.’
+
+‘She set one, but I broke away.’
+
+‘You have a stout leg, then. But where are you, where are you? Is it
+Hebe? It can hardly be Diana, she is so cold. Is it a Muse, or is it one
+of the Graces?’
+
+Ixion again shook his head.
+
+‘Come, my dear fellow,’ said Cupid, quite in a confidential tone, ‘you
+have told enough to make further reserve mere affectation. Ease your
+heart at once, and if I can assist you, depend upon my exertions.’
+
+‘Beneficent God!’ exclaimed Ixion, ‘if I ever return to Larissa, the
+brightest temple in Greece shall hail thee for its inspiring deity. I
+address thee with all the confiding frankness of a devoted votary. Know,
+then, the heroine of my reverie was no less a personage than the Queen
+of Heaven herself!’
+
+‘Juno! by all that is sacred!’ shouted Cupid. ‘I am here,’ responded
+a voice of majestic melody. The stately form of the Queen of Heaven
+advanced from a neighbouring bower. Ixion stood with his eyes fixed
+upon the ground, with a throbbing heart and burning cheeks. Juno stood
+motionless, pale, and astounded. The God of Love burst into excessive
+laughter.
+
+[Illustration: page28]
+
+‘A pretty pair!’ he exclaimed, fluttering between both, and laughing
+in their faces. ‘Truly a pretty pair! Well! I see I am in your way.
+Good-bye!’ And so saying, the God pulled a couple of arrows from his
+quiver, and with the rapidity of lightning shot one in the respective
+breasts of the Queen of Heaven and the King of Thessaly.
+
+The amethystine twilight of Olympus died away. The stars blazed with
+tints of every hue. Ixion and Juno returned to the palace. She leant
+upon his arm; her eyes were fixed upon the ground; they were in sight of
+the gorgeous pile, and yet she had not spoken. Ixion, too, was silent,
+and gazed with abstraction upon the glowing sky.
+
+Suddenly, when within a hundred yards of the portal, Juno stopped, and
+looking up into the face of Ixion with an irresistible smile, she
+said, ‘I am sure you cannot now refuse to tell me what the Queen of
+Mesopotamia’s peacock’s tail was made of!’
+
+‘It is impossible now,’ said Ixion. ‘Know, then, beautiful Goddess, that
+the tail of the Queen of Mesopotamia’s peacock was made of some plumage
+she had stolen from the wings of Cupid.’
+
+‘And what was the reason that prevented you from telling me before?’
+
+‘Because, beautiful Juno, I am the most discreet of men, and respect the
+secret of a lady, however trifling.’
+
+‘I am glad to hear that,’ replied Juno, and they re-entered the palace.
+
+Mercury met Juno and Ixion in the gallery leading to the grand
+banqueting hall.
+
+‘I was looking for you,’ said the God, shaking his head. ‘Jove is in a
+sublime rage. Dinner has been ready this hour.’
+
+The King of Thessaly and the Queen of Heaven exchanged a glance and
+entered the saloon. Jove looked up with a brow of thunder, but did not
+condescend to send forth a single flash of anger. Jove looked up and
+Jove looked down. All Olympus trembled as the Father of Gods and men
+resumed his soup. The rest of the guests seemed nervous and reserved,
+except Cupid, who said immediately to Juno, ‘Your Majesty has been
+detained?’
+
+‘I fell asleep in a bower reading Apollo’s last poem,’ replied Juno. ‘I
+am lucky, however, in finding a companion in my negligence. Ixion, where
+have you been?’
+
+‘Take a glass of nectar, Juno,’ said Cupid, with eyes twinkling with
+mischief; ‘and perhaps Ixion will join us.’
+
+This was the most solemn banquet ever celebrated in Olympus. Everyone
+seemed out of humour or out of spirits. Jupiter spoke only in
+monosyllables of suppressed rage, that sounded like distant thunder.
+Apollo whispered to Minerva. Mercury never opened his lips, but
+occasionally exchanged significant glances with Ganymede. Mars
+compensated, by his attentions to Venus, for his want of conversation.
+Cupid employed himself in asking disagreeable questions. At length
+the Goddesses retired. Mercury exerted himself to amuse Jove, but the
+Thunderer scarcely deigned to smile at his best stories. Mars picked
+his teeth, Apollo played with his rings, Ixion was buried in a profound
+reverie.
+
+It was a great relief to all when Ganymede summoned them to the presence
+of their late companions.
+
+‘I have written a comment upon your inscription,’ said Minerva to Ixion,
+‘and am anxious for your opinion of it.’
+
+‘I am a wretched critic,’ said the King, breaking away from her. Juno
+smiled upon him in the distance.
+
+‘Ixion,’ said Venus, as he passed by, ‘come and talk to me.’
+
+The bold Thessalian blushed, he stammered out an unmeaning excuse, he
+quitted the astonished but good-natured Goddess, and seated himself by
+Juno, and as he seated himself his moody brow seemed suddenly illumined
+with brilliant light.
+
+‘Is it so?’ said Venus.
+
+‘Hem!’ said Minerva.
+
+‘Ha, ha!’ said Cupid.
+
+Jupiter played piquette with Mercury.
+
+‘Everything goes wrong to-day,’ said the King of Heaven; ‘cards
+wretched, and kept waiting for dinner, and by-----a mortal!’
+
+‘Your Majesty must not be surprised,’ said the good-natured Mercury,
+with whom Ixion was no favourite. ‘Your Majesty must not be very much
+surprised at the conduct of this creature. Considering what he is, and
+where he is, I am only astonished that his head is not more turned than
+it appears to be. A man, a thing made of mud, and in Heaven! Only think,
+sire! Is it not enough to inflame the brain of any child of clay? To be
+sure, keeping your Majesty from dinner is little short of celestial high
+treason. I hardly expected that, indeed. To order me about, to treat
+Ganymede as his own lacquey, and, in short, to command the whole
+household; all this might be expected from such a person in such a
+situation, but I confess I did think he had some little respect left for
+your Majesty.’
+
+‘And he does order you about, eh?’ inquired Jove. ‘I have the spades.’
+
+‘Oh! ‘tis quite ludicrous,’ responded the son of Maia. ‘Your Majesty
+would not expect from me the offices that this upstart daily requires.’
+
+‘Eternal destiny! is’t possible? That is my trick. And Ganymede, too?’
+
+‘Oh! quite shocking, I assure you, sire,’ said the beautiful cupbearer,
+leaning over the chair of Jove with all the easy insolence of a
+privileged favourite. ‘Really, sire, if Ixion is to go on in the way he
+does, either he or I must quit.’
+
+‘Is it possible?’ exclaimed Jupiter. ‘But I can believe anything of a
+man who keeps me waiting for dinner. Two and three make five.’
+
+‘It is Juno that encourages him so,’ said Ganymede.
+
+‘Does she encourage him?’ inquired Jove.
+
+‘Everybody notices it,’ protested Ganymede.
+
+‘It is indeed a little noticed,’ observed Mercury.
+
+‘What business has such a fellow to speak to Juno?’ exclaimed Jove. ‘A
+mere mortal, a mere miserable mortal! You have the point. How I have
+been deceived in this fellow! Who ever could have supposed that,
+after all my generosity to him, he would ever have kept me waiting for
+dinner?’
+
+‘He was walking with Juno,’ said Ganymede. ‘It was all a sham about
+their having met by accident. Cupid saw them.’
+
+‘Ha!’ said Jupiter, turning pale; ‘you don’t say so! Repiqued, as I am a
+God. That is mine. Where is the Queen?’
+
+‘Talking to Ixion, sire,’ said Mercury. ‘Oh, I beg your pardon, sire; I
+did not know you meant the queen of diamonds.’
+
+‘Never mind. I am repiqued, and I have been kept waiting for dinner.
+Accursed be this day! Is Ixion really talking to Juno? We will not
+endure this.’
+
+‘Where is Juno?’ demanded Jupiter.
+
+‘I am sure I cannot say,’ said Venus, with a smile.
+
+‘I am sure I do not know,’ said Minerva, with a sneer.
+
+‘Where is Ixion?’ said Cupid, laughing outright.
+
+‘Mercury, Ganymede, find the Queen of Heaven instantly,’ thundered the
+Father of Gods and men.
+
+The celestial messenger and the heavenly page flew away out of different
+doors. There was a terrible, an immortal silence. Sublime rage lowered
+on the brow of Jove like a storm upon the mountain-top. Minerva seated
+herself at the card-table and played at Patience. Venus and Cupid
+tittered in the background. Shortly returned the envoys, Mercury looking
+solemn, Ganymede malignant.
+
+‘Well?’ inquired Jove; and all Olympus trembled at the monosyllable.
+
+Mercury shook his head.
+
+‘Her Majesty has been walking on the terrace with the King of Thessaly,’
+replied Ganymede.
+
+‘Where is she now, sir?’ demanded Jupiter.
+
+Mercury shrugged his shoulders.
+
+‘Her Majesty is resting herself in the pavilion of Cupid, with the King
+of Thessaly,’ replied Ganymede.
+
+‘Confusion!’ exclaimed the Father of Gods and men; and he rose and
+seized a candle from the table, scattering the cards in all directions.
+Every one present, Minerva and Venus, and Mars and Apollo, and Mercury
+and Ganymede, and the Muses, and the Graces, and all the winged
+genii--each seized a candle; rifling the chandeliers, each followed Jove.
+
+‘This way,’ said Mercury.
+
+‘This way,’ said Ganymede.
+
+‘This way, this way!’ echoed the celestial crowd.
+
+‘Mischief!’ cried Cupid; ‘I must save my victims.’
+
+They were all upon the terrace. The Father of Gods and men, though both
+in a passion and a hurry, moved with dignity. It was, as customary in
+Heaven, a clear and starry night; but this eve Diana was indisposed, or
+otherwise engaged, and there was no moonlight. They were in sight of the
+pavilion.
+
+‘What are you?’ inquired Cupid of one of the genii, who accidentally
+extinguished his candle.
+
+‘I am a cloud,’ answered the winged genius.
+
+‘A cloud! Just the thing. Now do me a shrewd turn, and Cupid is ever
+your debtor. Fly, fly, pretty cloud, and encompass yon pavilion with
+your form. Away! ask no questions; swift as my word.’
+
+‘I declare there is a fog,’ said Venus.
+
+‘An evening mist in Heaven!’ said Minerva.
+
+‘Where is Nox?’ said Jove. ‘Everything goes wrong. Who ever heard of a
+mist in Heaven?’
+
+‘My candle is out,’ said Apollo.
+
+‘And mine, too,’ said Mars.
+
+‘And mine, and mine, and mine,’ said Mercury and Ganymede, and the Muses
+and the Graces.
+
+‘All the candles are out!’ said Cupid; ‘a regular fog. I cannot even see
+the pavilion: it must be hereabouts, though,’ said the God to himself.
+‘So, so; I should be at home in my own pavilion, and am tolerably
+accustomed to stealing about in the dark. There is a step; and here,
+surely, is the lock. The door opens, but the cloud enters before me.
+Juno, Juno,’ whispered the God of Love, ‘we are all here. Be contented
+to escape, like many other innocent dames, with your reputation only
+under a cloud: it will soon disperse; and lo! the heaven is clearing.’
+
+‘It must have been the heat of our flambeaux,’ said Venus; ‘for see, the
+mist is vanished; here is the pavilion.’
+
+Ganymede ran forward, and dashed open the door. Ixion was alone.
+
+‘Seize him!’ said Jove.
+
+‘Juno is not here,’ said Mercury, with an air of blended congratulation
+and disappointment.
+
+‘Never mind,’ said Jove; ‘seize him! He kept me waiting for dinner.’
+
+‘Is this your hospitality, Ægiochus?’ exclaimed Ixion, in a tone of
+bullying innocence. ‘I shall defend myself.’
+
+‘Seize him, seize him!’ exclaimed Jupiter. ‘What! do you all falter? Are
+you afraid of a mortal?’
+
+‘And a Thessalian?’ added Ganymede.
+
+No one advanced.
+
+‘Send for Hercules,’ said Jove.
+
+‘I will fetch him in an instant,’ said Ganymede.
+
+‘I protest,’ said the King of Thessaly, ‘against this violation of the
+most sacred rights.’
+
+‘The marriage tie?’ said Mercury.
+
+‘The dinner-hour?’ said Jove.
+
+‘It is no use talking sentiment to Ixion,’ said Venus; ‘all mortals are
+callous.’
+
+‘Adventures are to the adventurous,’ said Minerva.
+
+‘Here is Hercules! here is Hercules!’
+
+‘Seize him!’ said Jove; ‘seize that man.’
+
+In vain the mortal struggled with the irresistible demigod.
+
+‘Shall I fetch your thunderbolt, Jove?’ inquired Ganymede.
+
+‘Anything short of eternal punishment is unworthy of a God,’ answered
+Jupiter, with great dignity. ‘Apollo, bring me a wheel of your
+chariot.’
+
+‘What shall I do to-morrow morning?’ inquired the God of Light.
+
+‘Order an eclipse,’ replied Jove. ‘Bind the insolent wretch to the
+wheel; hurl him to Hades; its motion shall be perpetual.’
+
+‘What am I to bind him with?’ inquired Hercules.
+
+‘The girdle of Venus,’ replied the Thunderer.
+
+‘What is all this?’ inquired Juno, advancing, pale and agitated.
+
+‘Come along; you shall see,’ answered Jupiter. ‘Follow me, follow me.’
+
+They all followed the leader, all the Gods, all the genii; in the midst,
+the brawny husband of Hebe bearing Ixion aloft, bound to the fatal
+wheel. They reached the terrace; they descended the sparkling steps of
+lapis-lazuli. Hercules held his burthen on high, ready, at a nod, to
+plunge the hapless but presumptuous mortal through space into Hades. The
+heavenly group surrounded him, and peeped over the starry abyss. It was
+a fine moral, and demonstrated the usual infelicity that attends unequal
+connection.
+
+‘Celestial despot!’ said Ixion.
+
+In a moment all sounds were hushed, as they listened to the last words
+of the unrivalled victim. Juno, in despair, leant upon the respective
+arms of Venus and Minerva.
+
+‘Celestial despot!’ said Ixion, ‘I defy the immortal ingenuity of thy
+cruelty. My memory must be as eternal as thy torture: that will support
+me.’
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Ixion In Heaven, by Benjamin Disraeli
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IXION IN HEAVEN ***
+
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Ixion In Heaven, by Benjamin Disraeli
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Ixion In Heaven
+
+Author: Benjamin Disraeli
+
+Release Date: December 3, 2006 [EBook #20009]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IXION IN HEAVEN ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+IXION IN HEAVEN
+
+By Benjamin Disraeli
+
+
+
+
+     _ADVERTISEMENT_
+
+     _'IXION, King of Thessaly, famous for its horses, married
+     Dia, daughter of Deioneus, who, in consequence of his son-
+     in-law's non-fulfilment of his engagements, stole away some
+     of the monarch's steeds. Ixion concealed his resentment
+     under the mask of friendship. He invited his father-in-law
+     to a feast at Larissa, the capital of his kingdom; and when
+     Deioneus arrived according to his appointment, he threw him
+     into a pit which he had previously filled with burning
+     coals. This treachery so irritated the neighbouring princes,
+     that all of them refused to perform the usual ceremony, by
+     which a man was then purified of murder, and Ixion was
+     shunned and despised by all mankind. Jupiter had compassion
+     upon him, carried him to Heaven, and introduced him to the
+     Father of the Gods. Such a favour, which ought to have
+     awakened gratitude in Ixion, only served to inflame his bad
+     passions; he became enamoured of Juno, and attempted to
+     seduce her. Juno was willing to gratify the passion of
+     Ixion, though, according to others,' &c.--Classical
+     Dictionary, art. 'Ixion.'_
+
+
+
+
+IXION IN HEAVEN
+
+
+
+
+PART I.
+
+     _An Errant King_
+
+THE thunder groaned, the wind howled, the rain fell in hissing torrents,
+impenetrable darkness covered the earth. A blue and forky flash darted a
+momentary light over the landscape. A Doric temple rose in the centre of
+a small and verdant plain, surrounded on all sides by green and hanging
+woods.
+
+'Jove is my only friend,' exclaimed a wanderer, as he muffled himself up
+in his mantle; 'and were it not for the porch of his temple, this night,
+methinks, would complete the work of my loving wife and my dutiful
+subjects.'
+
+The thunder died away, the wind sank into silence, the rain ceased, and
+the parting clouds exhibited the glittering crescent of the young moon.
+A sonorous and majestic voice sounded from the skies:--
+
+'Who art thou that hast no other friend than Jove?' 'One whom all
+mankind unite in calling a wretch.' 'Art thou a philosopher?'
+
+'If philosophy be endurance. But for the rest, I was sometime a king,
+and am now a scatterling.' 'How do they call thee? 'Ixion of Thessaly.'
+
+'Ixion of Thessaly! I thought he was a happy man. I heard that he was
+just married.'
+
+'Father of Gods and men! for I deem thee such, Thessaly is not Olympus.
+Conjugal felicity is only the portion of the immortals!'
+
+'Hem! What! was Dia jealous, which is common; or false, which is
+commoner; or both, which is commonest?'
+
+'It may be neither. We quarrelled about nothing. Where there is little
+sympathy, or too much, the splitting of a straw is plot enough for a
+domestic tragedy. I was careless, her friends stigmatised me as callous;
+she cold, her friends styled her magnanimous. Public opinion was all
+on her side, merely because I did not choose that the world should
+interfere between me and my wife. Dia took the world's advice upon every
+point, and the world decided that she always acted rightly. However,
+life is life, either in a palace or a cave. I am glad you ordered it to
+leave off thundering.'
+
+'A cool dog this. And Dia left thee? 'No; I left her.' 'What, craven?'
+
+'Not exactly. The truth is-----'tis a long story.
+
+I was over head and ears in debt.'
+
+'Ah! that accounts for everything. Nothing so harassing as a want of
+money! But what lucky fellows you mortals are with your _post-obits!_
+We Immortals are deprived of this resource. I was obliged to get up a
+rebellion against my father, because he kept me so short, and could not
+die.'
+
+'You could have married for money. I did.' 'I had no opportunity, there
+was so little female society in those days. When I came out, there were
+no heiresses except the Parcae, confirmed old maids; and no very rich
+dowager, except my grandmother, old Terra.'
+
+'Just the thing; the older the better. However, I married Dia, the
+daughter of Deioneus, with a prodigious portion; but after the ceremony
+the old gentleman would not fulfil his part of the contract without
+my giving up my stud. Can you conceive anything more unreasonable? I
+smothered my resentment at the time; for the truth is, my tradesmen all
+renewed my credit on the strength of the match, and so we went on
+very well for a year; but at last they began to smell a rat, and grew
+importunate. I entreated Dia to interfere; but she was a paragon of
+daughters, and always took the side of her father. If she had only been
+dutiful to her husband, she would have been a perfect woman. At last
+I invited Deioneus to the Larissa races, with the intention of
+conciliating him. The unprincipled old man bought the horse that I
+had backed, and by which I intended to have redeemed my fortunes, and
+withdrew it. My book was ruined. I dissembled my rage. I dug a pit in
+our garden, and filled it with burning coals. As my father-in-law and
+myself were taking a stroll after dinner, the worthy Deioneus fell in,
+merely by accident. Dia proclaimed me the murderer of her father, and,
+as a satisfaction to her wounded feelings, earnestly requested her
+subjects to decapitate her husband. She certainly was the best of
+daughters. There was no withstanding public opinion, an infuriated
+rabble, and a magnanimous wife at the same time. They surrounded my
+palace: I cut my way through the greasy-capped multitude, sword in hand,
+and gained a neighbouring Court, where I solicited my brother princes
+to purify me from the supposed murder. If I had only murdered a subject,
+they would have supported me against the people; but Deioneus being a
+crowned head, like themselves, they declared they would not countenance
+so immoral a being as his son-in-law. And so, at length, after much
+wandering, and shunned by all my species, I am here, Jove, in much
+higher society than I ever expected to mingle.'
+
+'Well, thou art a frank dog, and in a sufficiently severe scrape. The
+Gods must have pity on those for whom men have none. It is evident that
+Earth is too hot for thee at present, so I think thou hadst better come
+and stay a few weeks with us in Heaven.' 'Take my thanks for hecatombs,
+great Jove. Thou art, indeed, a God!'
+
+'I hardly know whether our life will suit you. We dine at sunset; for
+Apollo is so much engaged that he cannot join us sooner, and no dinner
+goes off well without him. In the morning you are your own master, and
+must find amusement where you can. Diana will show you some tolerable
+sport. Do you shoot?'
+
+'No arrow surer. Fear not for me, �giochus: I am always at home. But
+how am I to get to you?' 'I will send Mercury; he is the best travelling
+companion in the world. What ho! my Eagle!'
+
+The clouds joined, and darkness again fell over the earth.
+
+'So! tread softly. Don't be nervous. Are you sick?'
+
+'A little nausea; 'tis nothing.'
+
+'The novelty of the motion. The best thing is a beefsteak. We will stop
+at Taurus and take one.'
+
+'You have been a great traveller, Mercury?'
+
+'I have seen the world.'
+
+'Ah! a wondrous spectacle. I long to travel.'
+
+'The same thing over and over again. Little novelty and much change. I
+am wearied with exertion, and if I could get a pension would retire.'
+
+'And yet travel brings wisdom.'
+
+'It cures us of care. Seeing much we feel little, and learn how very
+petty are all those great affairs which cost us such anxiety.'
+
+'I feel that already myself. Floating in this blue aether, what the
+devil is my wife to me, and her dirty Earth! My persecuting enemies seem
+so many pismires; and as for my debts, which have occasioned me so many
+brooding moments, honour and infamy, credit and beggary, seem to me
+alike ridiculous.'
+
+'Your mind is opening, Ixion. You will soon be a man of the world. To
+the left, and keep clear of that star.'
+
+'Who lives there?'
+
+'The Fates know, not I. Some low people who are trying to shine into
+notice. 'Tis a parvenu planet, and only sprung into space within this
+century. We do not visit them.'
+
+'Poor devils! I feel hungry.'
+
+'All right. We shall get into Heaven by the first dinner bolt. You
+cannot arrive at a strange house at a better moment. We shall just have
+time to dress. I would not spoil my appetite by luncheon. Jupiter keeps
+a capital cook.'
+
+'I have heard of Nectar and Ambrosia.' 'Poh! nobody touches them.
+They are regular old-fashioned celestial food, and merely put upon the
+side-table. Nothing goes down in Heaven now but infernal cookery. We
+took our chef from Proserpine.'
+
+'Were you ever in Hell?'
+
+'Several times. 'Tis the fashion now among the Olympians to pass the
+winter there.' 'Is this the season in Heaven?' 'Yes; you are lucky.
+Olympus is quite full.' 'It was kind of Jupiter to invite me.' 'Ay! he
+has his good points. And, no doubt, he has taken a liking to you, which
+is all very well. But be upon your guard. He has no heart, and is as
+capricious as he is tyrannical.'
+
+'Gods cannot be more unkind to me than men have been.'
+
+'All those who have suffered think they have seen the worst. A great
+mistake. However, you are now in the high road to preferment, so we will
+not be dull. There are some good fellows enough amongst us. You will
+like old Neptune.' 'Is he there now?'
+
+'Yes, he generally passes his summer with us. There is little stirring
+in the ocean at that season.' 'I am anxious to see Mars.'
+
+'Oh! a brute, more a bully than a hero. Not at all in the best set.
+These mustachioed gentry are by no means the rage at present in Olympus.
+The women are all literary now, and Minerva has quite eclipsed Venus.
+Apollo is our hero. You must read his last work.'
+
+'I hate reading.'
+
+'So do I. I have no time, and seldom do anything in that way but glance
+at a newspaper. Study and action will not combine.'
+
+'I suppose I shall find the Goddesses very proud?'
+
+'You will find them as you find women below, of different dispositions
+with the same object. Venus is a flirt; Minerva a prude, who fancies she
+has a correct taste and a strong mind; and Juno a politician. As for the
+rest, faint heart never won fair lady; take a friendly hint, and do not
+be alarmed.'
+
+'I fear nothing. My mind mounts with my fortunes. We are above the
+clouds. They form beneath us a vast and snowy region, dim and irregular,
+as I have sometimes seen them clustering upon the horizon's ridge at
+sunset, like a raging sea stilled by some sudden supernatural frost
+and frozen into form! How bright the air above us, and how delicate
+its fragrant breath! I scarcely breathe, and yet my pulses beat like
+my first youth. I hardly feel my being. A splendour falls upon your
+presence. You seem, indeed, a God! Am I so glorious? This, this is
+Heaven!'
+
+The travellers landed on a vast flight of sparkling steps of
+lapis-lazuli. Ascending, they entered beautiful gardens; winding
+walks that yielded to the feet, and accelerated your passage by their
+rebounding pressure; fragrant shrubs covered with dazzling flowers, the
+fleeting tints of which changed every moment; groups of tall trees, with
+strange birds of brilliant and variegated plumage, singing and reposing
+in their sheeny foliage, and fountains of perfumes.
+
+Before them rose an illimitable and golden palace, with high spreading
+domes of pearl, and long windows of crystal. Around the huge portal of
+ruby was ranged a company of winged genii, who smiled on Mercury as he
+passed them with his charge.
+
+'The Father of Gods and men is dressing,' said the son of Maia. 'I shall
+attend his toilet and inform him of your arrival. These are your rooms.
+Dinner will be ready in half an hour. I will call for you as I go down.
+You can be formally presented in the evening. At that time, inspired by
+liqueurs and his matchless band of wind instruments, you will agree with
+the world that �giochus is the most finished God in existence.'
+
+'Now, Ixion, are you ready?' 'Even so. What says Jove?' 'He smiled, but
+said nothing. He was trying on a new robe. By this time he is seated.
+Hark! the thunder. Come on!'
+
+They entered a cupolaed hall. Seats of ivory and gold were ranged round
+a circular table of cedar, inlaid with the campaigns against the Titans,
+in silver exquisitely worked, a nuptial present of Vulcan. The service
+of gold plate threw all the ideas of the King of Thessaly as to royal
+magnificence into the darkest shade. The enormous plateau represented
+the constellations. Ixion viewed the Father of Gods and men with great
+interest, who, however, did not notice him. He acknowledged the majesty
+of that countenance whose nod shook Olympus. Majestically robust and
+luxuriantly lusty, his tapering waist was evidently immortal, for it
+defied Time, and his splendid auburn curls, parted on his forehead
+with celestial precision, descended over cheeks glowing with the purple
+radiancy of perpetual manhood.
+
+The haughty Juno was seated on his left hand and Ceres on his right. For
+the rest of the company there was Neptune, Latona, Minerva, and Apollo,
+and when Mercury and Ixion had taken their places, one seat was still
+vacant.
+
+'Where is Diana?' inquired Jupiter, with a frown.
+
+'My sister is hunting,' said Apollo.
+
+'She is always too late for dinner,' said Jupiter. 'No habit is less
+Goddess-like.'
+
+'Godlike pursuits cannot be expected to induce Goddess-like manners,'
+said Juno, with a sneer.
+
+'I have no doubt Diana will be here directly,' said Latona, mildly.
+
+Jupiter seemed pacified, and at that instant the absent guest returned.
+
+'Good sport, Di?' inquired Neptune.
+
+'Very fair, uncle. Mamma,' continued the sister of Apollo, addressing
+herself to Juno, whom she ever thus styled when she wished to conciliate
+her, 'I have brought you a new peacock.'
+
+Juno was fond of pets, and was conciliated by the present.
+
+'Bacchus made a great noise about this wine, Mercury,' said Jupiter,'
+but I think with little cause. What think you?'
+
+'It pleases me, but I am fatigued, and then all wine is agreeable.'
+
+'You have had a long journey,' replied the Thunderer. 'Ixion, I am glad
+to see you in Heaven.'
+
+'Your Majesty arrived to-day?' inquired Minerva, to whom the King of
+Thessaly sat next.
+
+'Within this hour.'
+
+'You must leave off talking of Time now,' said Minerva, with a severe
+smile. 'Pray is there anything new in Greece?'
+
+'I have not been at all in society lately.'
+
+'No new edition of Homer? I admire him exceedingly.'
+
+'All about Greece interests me,' said Apollo, who, although handsome,
+was a somewhat melancholy lack-a-daisical looking personage, with his
+shirt collar thrown open, and his long curls theatrically arranged.
+'All about Greece interests me. I always consider Greece my peculiar
+property. My best poems were written at Delphi. I travelled in Greece
+when I was young. I envy mankind.'
+
+'Indeed!' said Ixion.
+
+'Yes: they at least can look forward to a termination of the ennui of
+existence, but for us Celestials there is no prospect. Say what they
+like, immortality is a bore.'
+
+'You eat nothing, Apollo,' said Ceres.
+
+'Nor drink,' said Neptune.
+
+'To eat, to drink, what is it but to live; and what is life but death,
+if death be that which all men deem it, a thing insufferable, and to
+be shunned. I refresh myself now only with soda-water and biscuits.
+Ganymede, bring some.'
+
+Now, although the _cuisine_ of Olympus was considered perfect, the
+forlorn poet had unfortunately fixed upon the only two articles which
+were not comprised in its cellar or larder. In Heaven, there was neither
+soda-water nor biscuits. A great confusion consequently ensued; but at
+length the bard, whose love of fame was only equalled by his horror of
+getting fat, consoled himself with a swan stuffed with truffles, and a
+bottle of strong Tenedos wine.
+
+'What do you think of Homer?' inquired Minerva of Apollo. 'Is he not
+delightful?'
+
+'If you think so.'
+
+'Nay, I am desirous of your opinion.'
+
+'Then you should not have given me yours, for your taste is too fine for
+me to dare to differ with it.'
+
+'I have suspected, for some time, that you are rather a heretic'
+
+'Why, the truth is,' replied Apollo, playing with his rings, 'I do not
+think much of Homer. Homer was not esteemed in his own age, and our
+contemporaries are generally our best judges. The fact is, there are
+very few people who are qualified to decide upon matters of taste. A
+certain set, for certain reasons, resolve to cry up a certain writer,
+and the great mass soon join in. All is cant. And the present admiration
+of Homer is not less so. They say I have borrowed a great deal from him.
+The truth is, I never read Homer since I was a child, and I thought of
+him then what I think of him now, a writer of some wild irregular power,
+totally deficient in taste. Depend upon it, our contemporaries are our
+best judges, and his contemporaries decided that Homer was nothing.
+A great poet cannot be kept down. Look at my case. Marsyas said of my
+first volume that it was pretty good poetry for a God, and in answer I
+wrote a satire, and flayed Marsyas alive. But what is poetry, and what
+is criticism, and what is life? Air. And what is air? Do you know? I
+don't. All is mystery, and all is gloom, and ever and anon from out the
+clouds a star breaks forth, and glitters, and that star is Poetry.'
+
+'Splendid!' exclaimed Minerva.
+
+'I do not exactly understand you,' said Neptune.
+
+'Have you heard from Proserpine, lately?' inquired Jupiter of Ceres.
+
+'Yesterday,' said the domestic mother. 'They talk of soon joining us.
+But Pluto is at present so busy, owing to the amazing quantity of
+wars going on now, that I am almost afraid he will scarcely be able to
+accompany her.'
+
+Juno exchanged a telegraphic nod with Ceres. The Goddesses rose, and
+retired.
+
+'Come, old boy,' said Jupiter to Ixion, instantly throwing off all his
+chivalric majesty, 'I drink your welcome in a magnum of Maraschino.
+Damn your poetry, Apollo, and, Mercury, give us one of your good
+stories.'
+
+'Well! what do you think of him?' asked Juno.
+
+'He appears to have a fine mind,' said Minerva.
+
+'Poh! he has very fine eyes,' said Juno.
+
+'He seems a very nice, quiet young gentleman,' said Ceres.
+
+'I have no doubt he is very amiable,' said Latona.
+
+'He must have felt very strange,' said Diana.
+
+Hercules arrived with his bride Hebe; soon after the Graces dropped in,
+the most delightful personages in the world for a _soiree_, so useful
+and ready for anything. Afterwards came a few of the Muses, Thalia,
+Melpomene, and Terpsichore, famous for a charade or a proverb. Jupiter
+liked to be amused in the evening. Bacchus also came, but finding that
+the Gods had not yet left their wine, retired to pay them a visit.
+
+Ganymede announced coffee in the saloon of Juno. Jupiter was in superb
+good humour. He was amused by his mortal guest. He had condescended
+to tell one of his best stories in his best style, about Leda, not too
+scandalous, but gay.
+
+'Those were bright days,' said Neptune.
+
+'We can remember,' said the Thunderer, with a twinkling eye. 'These
+youths have fallen upon duller times. There are no fine women now.
+Ixion, I drink to the health of your wife.'
+
+'With all my heart, and may we never be nearer than we are at present.'
+
+'Good! i'faith; Apollo, your arm. Now for the ladies. La, la, la, la!
+la, la, la, la!'
+
+The Thunderer entered the saloon of Juno with that bow which no God
+could rival; all rose, and the King of Heaven seated himself between
+Ceres and Latona. The melancholy Apollo stood apart, and was soon
+carried off by Minerva to an assembly at the house of Mnemosyne.
+Mercury chatted with the Graces, and Bacchus with Diana. The three Muses
+favoured the company with singing, and the Queen of Heaven approached
+Ixion.
+
+'Does your Majesty dance?' she haughtily inquired.
+
+'On earth; I have few accomplishments even there, and none in Heaven.'
+
+'You have led a strange life! I have heard of your adventures.'
+
+'A king who has lost his crown may generally gain at least experience.'
+
+'Your courage is firm.'
+
+'I have felt too much to care for much. Yesterday I was a vagabond
+exposed to every pitiless storm, and now I am the guest of Jove. While
+there is life there is hope, and he who laughs at Destiny will gain
+Fortune. I would go through the past again to enjoy the present, and
+feel that, after all, I am my wife's debtor, since, through her conduct,
+I can gaze upon you.'
+
+'No great spectacle. If that be all. I wish you better fortune.'
+
+'I desire no greater.'
+
+'You are moderate.'
+
+'I am perhaps more unreasonable than you imagine.'
+
+'Indeed!'
+
+Their eyes met; the dark orbs of the Thessalian did not quail before the
+flashing vision of the Goddess. Juno grew pale. Juno turned away.
+
+
+
+
+PART II.
+
+     _'Others say it was only a cloud.'_
+
+     _A Mortal Among the Gods._
+
+MERCURY and Ganymede were each lolling on an opposite couch in the
+antechamber of Olympus.
+
+'It is wonderful,' said the son of Maia, yawning. 'It is incredible,'
+rejoined the cupbearer of Jove, stretching his legs.
+
+'A miserable mortal!' exclaimed the God, elevating his eyebrows.
+
+'A vile Thessalian!' said the beautiful Phrygian, shrugging his
+shoulders.
+
+'Not three days back an outcast among his own wretched species!'
+
+'And now commanding everybody in Heaven.' 'He shall not command me,
+though,' said Mercury.
+
+'Will he not?' replied Ganymede. 'Why, what do you think? only last
+night; hark! here he comes.'
+
+The companions jumped up from their couches; a light laugh was heard.
+The cedar portal was flung open, and Ixion lounged in, habited in a
+loose morning robe, and kicking before him one of his slippers. 'Ah!'
+exclaimed the King of Thessaly, 'the very fellows I wanted to see!
+Ganymede, bring me some nectar; and, Mercury, run and tell Jove that I
+shall not dine at home to-day.'
+
+The messenger and the page exchanged looks of indignant consternation.
+
+'Well! what are you waiting for?' continued Ixion, looking round from
+the mirror in which he was arranging his locks. The messenger and the
+page disappeared.
+
+'So! this is Heaven,' exclaimed the husband of Dia, flinging himself
+upon one of the couches; 'and a very pleasant place too. These worthy
+Immortals required their minds to be opened, and I trust I have
+effectually performed the necessary operation. They wanted to keep me
+down with their dull old-fashioned celestial airs, but I fancy I have
+given them change for their talent. To make your way in Heaven you
+must command. These exclusives sink under the audacious invention of
+an aspiring mind. Jove himself is really a fine old fellow, with some
+notions too. I am a prime favourite, and no one is greater authority
+with �giochus on all subjects, from the character of the fair sex or
+the pedigree of a courser, down to the cut of a robe or the flavour of a
+dish. Thanks, Ganymede,' continued the Thessalian, as he took the goblet
+from his returning attendant.
+
+'I drink to your _bonnes fortunes_. Splendid! This nectar makes me feel
+quite immortal. By-the-bye, I hear sweet sounds. Who is in the Hall of
+Music?'
+
+'The Goddesses, royal sir, practise a new air of Euterpe, the words by
+Apollo. 'Tis pretty, and will doubtless be very popular, for it is all
+about moonlight and the misery of existence.'
+
+'I warrant it.'
+
+'You have a taste for poetry yourself?' inquired Ganymede.
+
+'Not the least,' replied Ixion.
+
+'Apollo,' continued the heavenly page, 'is a great genius, though
+Marsyas said that he never would be a poet because he was a God, and had
+no heart. But do you think, sir, that a poet does indeed need a heart?'
+
+'I really cannot say. I know my wife always said I had a bad heart
+and worse head; but what she meant, upon my honour I never could
+understand.'
+
+'Minerva will ask you to write in her album.'
+
+'Will she indeed! I am sorry to hear it, for I can scarcely scrawl my
+signature. I should think that Jove himself cared little for all this
+nonsense.'
+
+'Jove loves an epigram. He does not esteem Apollo's works at all. Jove
+is of the classical school, and admires satire, provided there be no
+allusions to Gods and kings.'
+
+'Of course; I quite agree with him. I remember we had a confounded poet
+at Larissa who proved my family lived before the deluge, and asked me
+for a pension. I refused him, and then he wrote an epigram asserting
+that I sprang from the veritable stones thrown by Deucalion and Pyrrha
+at the re-peopling of the earth, and retained all the properties of my
+ancestors.'
+
+'Ha, ha! Hark! there's a thunderbolt! I must run to Jove.'
+
+'And I will look in on the musicians. This way, I think?'
+
+'Up the ruby staircase, turn to your right, down the amethyst gallery.
+Farewell!'
+
+'Good-bye; a lively lad that!'
+
+The King of Thessaly entered the Hall of Music with its golden walls
+and crystal dome. The Queen of Heaven was reclining in an easy chair,
+cutting out peacocks in small sheets of note paper. Minerva was making
+a pencil observation on a manuscript copy of the song: Apollo listened
+with deference to her laudatory criticisms. Another divine dame,
+standing by the side of Euterpe, who was seated by the harp, looked
+up as Ixion entered. The wild liquid glance of her soft but radiant
+countenance denoted the famed Goddess of Beauty.
+
+Juno just acknowledged the entrance of Ixion by a slight and haughty
+inclination of the head, and then resumed her employment. Minerva asked
+him his opinion of her amendment, of which he greatly approved. Apollo
+greeted him with a melancholy smile, and congratulated him on being
+mortal. Venus complimented him on his visit to Olympus, and expressed
+the pleasure that she experienced in making his acquaintance.
+
+'What do you think of Heaven?' inquired Venus, in a soft still voice,
+and with a smile like summer lightning.
+
+'I never found it so enchanting as at this moment,' replied Ixion.
+
+'A little dull? For myself, I pass my time chiefly at Cnidos: you must
+come and visit me there. 'Tis the most charming place in the world. 'Tis
+said, you know, that our onions are like other people's roses. We will
+take care of you, if your wife come.'
+
+'No fear of that. She always remains at home and piques herself on
+her domestic virtues, which means pickling, and quarrelling with her
+husband.'
+
+'Ah! I see you are a droll. Very good indeed. Well, for my part, I like
+a watering-place existence. Cnidos, Paphos, Cythera; you will usually
+find me at one of these places. I like the easy distraction of a career
+without any visible result. At these fascinating spots your gloomy race,
+to whom, by-the-bye, I am exceedingly partial, appear emancipated from
+the wearing fetters of their regular, dull, orderly, methodical, moral,
+political, toiling existence. I pride myself upon being the Goddess of
+watering-places. You really must pay me a visit at Cnidos.'
+
+'Such an invitation requires no repetition. And Cnidos is your favourite
+spot?'
+
+'Why, it was so; but of late it has become so inundated with invalid
+Asiatics and valetudinarian Persians, that the simultaneous influx of
+the handsome heroes who swarm in from the islands to look after their
+daughters, scarcely compensates for the annoying presence of their
+yellow faces and shaking limbs. No, I think, on the whole, Paphos is my
+favourite.'
+
+'I have heard of its magnificent luxury.'
+
+'Oh! 'tis lovely! Quite my idea of country life. Not a single tree! When
+Cyprus is very hot, you run to Paphos for a sea-breeze, and are sure to
+meet every one whose presence is in the least desirable. All the bores
+remain behind, as if by instinct.'
+
+'I remember when we married, we talked of passing the honeymoon at
+Cythera, but Dia would have her waiting-maid and a bandbox stuffed
+between us in the chariot, so I got sulky after the first stage, and
+returned by myself.'
+
+'You were quite right. I hate bandboxes: they are always in the way.
+You would have liked Cythera if you had been in the least in love.
+High rocks and green knolls, bowery woods, winding walks, and delicious
+sunsets. I have not been there much of late,' continued the Goddess,
+looking somewhat sad and serious, 'since--but I will not talk
+sentiment to Ixion.'
+
+'Do you think, then, I am insensible?'
+
+'Yes.'
+
+'Perhaps you are right. We mortals grow callous.'
+
+'So I have heard. How very odd!' So saying, the Goddess glided away and
+saluted Mars, who at that moment entered the hall. Ixion was presented
+to the military hero, who looked fierce and bowed stiffly. The King of
+Thessaly turned upon his heel. Minerva opened her album, and invited him
+to inscribe a stanza.
+
+'Goddess of Wisdom,' replied the King, 'unless you inspire me, the
+virgin page must remain pure as thyself. I can scarcely sign a decree.'
+
+'Is it Ixion of Thessaly who says this; one who has seen so much,
+and, if I am not mistaken, has felt and thought so much? I can easily
+conceive why such a mind may desire to veil its movements from the
+common herd, but pray concede to Minerva the gratifying compliment
+of assuring her that she is the exception for whom this rule has been
+established.'
+
+'I seem to listen to the inspired music of an oracle. Give me a pen!
+
+'Here is one, plucked from a sacred owl.' 'So! I write. There! Will it
+do?' Minerva read the inscription:--
+
+     _I HAVE SEEN THE WORLD, AND MORE THAN THE WORLD:
+     I HAVE STUDIED THE HEART OF MAN,
+     AND NOW I CONSORT WITH IMMORTALS.
+     THE FRUIT OF MY TREE OF   KNOWLEDGE   IS   PLUCKED,
+      AND  IT  IS  THIS,
+     'Adventures are to the Adventurous.'
+     Written in the Album of Minerva, by
+     Ixion in Heaven._
+
+''Tis brief,' said the Goddess, with a musing air, 'but full of meaning.
+You have a daring soul and pregnant mind.'
+
+'I have dared much: what I may produce we have yet to see.'
+
+'I must to Jove,' said Minerva, 'to council. We shall meet again.
+Farewell, Ixion.'
+
+'Farewell, Glaucopis.'
+
+The King of Thessaly stood away from the remaining guests, and leant
+with folded arms and pensive brow against a wreathed column. Mars
+listened to Venus with an air of deep devotion. Euterpe played an
+inspiring accompaniment to their conversation. The Queen of Heaven
+seemed engrossed in the creation of her paper peacocks.
+
+Ixion advanced and seated himself on a couch near Juno. His manner was
+divested of that reckless bearing and careless coolness by which it was
+in general distinguished. He was, perhaps, even a little embarrassed.
+His ready tongue deserted him. At length he spoke.
+
+'Has your Majesty ever heard of the peacock of the Queen of
+Mesopotamia?'
+
+'No,' replied Juno, with stately reserve; and then she added with an air
+of indifferent curiosity, 'Is it in any way remarkable?'
+
+'Its breast is of silver, its wings of gold, its eyes of carbuncle, its
+claws of amethyst.'
+
+'And its tail?' eagerly inquired Juno.
+
+'That is a secret,' replied Ixion. 'The tail is the most wonderful part
+of all.'
+
+'Oh! tell me, pray tell me!'
+
+'I forget.'
+
+'No, no, no; it is impossible!' exclaimed the animated Juno.
+'Provoking mortal!' continued the Goddess. 'Let me entreat you; tell me
+immediately.'
+
+'There is a reason which prevents me.'
+
+'What can it be? How very odd! What reason can it possibly be? Now tell
+me; as a particular, a personal favour, I request you, do tell me.'
+
+'What! The tail or the reason? The tail is wonderful, but the reason is
+much more so. I can only tell one. Now choose.'
+
+'What provoking things these human beings are! The tail is wonderful,
+but the reason is much more so. Well then, the reason; no, the tail.
+Stop, now, as a particular favour, pray tell me both. What can the
+tail be made of and what can the reason be? I am literally dying of
+curiosity.'
+
+'Your Majesty has cut out that peacock wrong,' remarked Ixion. 'It is
+more like one of Minerva's owls.'
+
+'Who cares about paper peacocks, when the Queen of Mesopotamia has got
+such a miracle!' exclaimed Juno; and she tore the labours of the morning
+to pieces, and threw away the fragments with vexation. 'Now tell me
+instantly; if you have the slightest regard for me, tell me instantly.
+What was the tail made of?'
+
+'And you do not wish to hear the reason?'
+
+'That afterwards. Now! I am all ears.' At this moment Ganymede entered,
+and whispered the Goddess, who rose in evident vexation, and retired to
+the presence of Jove.
+
+The King of Thessaly quitted the Hall of Music. Moody, yet not
+uninfluenced by a degree of wild excitement, he wandered forth into the
+gardens of Olympus. He came to a beautiful green retreat surrounded by
+enormous cedars, so vast that it seemed they must have been coeval with
+the creation; so fresh and brilliant, you would have deemed them wet
+with the dew of their first spring. The turf, softer than down, and
+exhaling, as you pressed it, an exquisite perfume, invited him to
+recline himself upon this natural couch. He threw himself upon the
+aromatic herbage, and leaning on his arm, fell into a deep reverie.
+
+Hours flew away; the sunshiny glades that opened in the distance had
+softened into shade.
+
+'Ixion, how do you do?' inquired a voice, wild, sweet, and thrilling as
+a bird. The King of Thessaly started and looked up with the distracted
+air of a man roused from a dream, or from complacent meditation over
+some strange, sweet secret. His cheek was flushed, his dark eyes flashed
+fire; his brow trembled, his dishevelled hair played in the fitful
+breeze. The King of Thessaly looked up, and beheld a most beautiful
+youth.
+
+Apparently, he had attained about the age of puberty. His stature,
+however, was rather tall for his age, but exquisitely moulded and
+proportioned. Very fair, his somewhat round cheeks were tinted with
+a rich but delicate glow, like the rose of twilight, and lighted by
+dimples that twinkled like stars. His large and deep-blue eyes sparkled
+with exultation, and an air of ill-suppressed mockery quivered round
+his pouting lips. His light auburn hair, braided off his white forehead,
+clustered in massy curls on each side of his face, and fell in sunny
+torrents down his neck. And from the back of the beautiful youth there
+fluttered forth two wings, the tremulous plumage of which seemed to have
+been bathed in a sunset: so various, so radiant, and so novel were its
+shifting and wondrous tints; purple, and crimson, and gold; streaks of
+azure, dashes of orange and glossy black; now a single feather,
+whiter than light, and sparkling like the frost, stars of emerald and
+carbuncle, and then the prismatic blaze of an enormous brilliant! A
+quiver hung at the side of the beautiful youth, and he leant upon a bow.
+
+'Oh! God, for God thou must be!' at length exclaimed Ixion. 'Do I behold
+the bright divinity of Love?'
+
+'I am indeed Cupid,' replied the youth; 'and am curious to know what
+Ixion is thinking about.' 'Thought is often bolder than speech.'
+'Oracular, though a mortal! You need not be afraid to trust me. My aid
+I am sure you must need. Who ever was found in a reverie on the
+green turf, under the shade of spreading trees, without requiring the
+assistance of Cupid? Come! be frank, who is the heroine? Some love-sick
+nymph deserted on the far earth; or worse, some treacherous mistress,
+whose frailty is more easily forgotten than her charms? 'Tis a miserable
+situation, no doubt. It cannot be your wife?'
+
+'Assuredly not,' replied Ixion, with energy.
+
+'Another man's?'
+
+'No.'
+
+'What! an obdurate maiden?'
+
+Ixion shook his head.
+
+'It must be a widow, then,' continued Cupid. 'Who ever heard before of
+such a piece of work about a widow!'
+
+'Have pity upon me, dread Cupid!' exclaimed the King of Thessaly, rising
+suddenly from the ground, and falling on his knee before the God.
+'Thou art the universal friend of man, and all nations alike throw their
+incense on thy altars. Thy divine discrimination has not deceived thee.
+I _am_ in love; desperately, madly, fatally enamoured. The object of my
+passion is neither my own wife nor another man's. In spite of all they
+have said and sworn, I am a moral member of society. She is neither a
+maid nor a widow. She is------'
+
+'What? what?' exclaimed the impatient deity.
+
+'A Goddess!' replied the King.
+
+'Wheugh!' whistled Cupid. 'What! has my mischievous mother been
+indulging you with an innocent flirtation?'
+
+'Yes; but it produced no effect upon me.'
+
+'You have a stout heart, then. Perhaps you have been reading poetry with
+Minerva, and are caught in one of her Platonic man-traps.'
+
+'She set one, but I broke away.'
+
+'You have a stout leg, then. But where are you, where are you? Is it
+Hebe? It can hardly be Diana, she is so cold. Is it a Muse, or is it one
+of the Graces?'
+
+Ixion again shook his head.
+
+'Come, my dear fellow,' said Cupid, quite in a confidential tone, 'you
+have told enough to make further reserve mere affectation. Ease your
+heart at once, and if I can assist you, depend upon my exertions.'
+
+'Beneficent God!' exclaimed Ixion, 'if I ever return to Larissa, the
+brightest temple in Greece shall hail thee for its inspiring deity. I
+address thee with all the confiding frankness of a devoted votary. Know,
+then, the heroine of my reverie was no less a personage than the Queen
+of Heaven herself!'
+
+'Juno! by all that is sacred!' shouted Cupid. 'I am here,' responded
+a voice of majestic melody. The stately form of the Queen of Heaven
+advanced from a neighbouring bower. Ixion stood with his eyes fixed
+upon the ground, with a throbbing heart and burning cheeks. Juno stood
+motionless, pale, and astounded. The God of Love burst into excessive
+laughter.
+
+[Illustration: page28]
+
+'A pretty pair!' he exclaimed, fluttering between both, and laughing
+in their faces. 'Truly a pretty pair! Well! I see I am in your way.
+Good-bye!' And so saying, the God pulled a couple of arrows from his
+quiver, and with the rapidity of lightning shot one in the respective
+breasts of the Queen of Heaven and the King of Thessaly.
+
+The amethystine twilight of Olympus died away. The stars blazed with
+tints of every hue. Ixion and Juno returned to the palace. She leant
+upon his arm; her eyes were fixed upon the ground; they were in sight of
+the gorgeous pile, and yet she had not spoken. Ixion, too, was silent,
+and gazed with abstraction upon the glowing sky.
+
+Suddenly, when within a hundred yards of the portal, Juno stopped, and
+looking up into the face of Ixion with an irresistible smile, she
+said, 'I am sure you cannot now refuse to tell me what the Queen of
+Mesopotamia's peacock's tail was made of!'
+
+'It is impossible now,' said Ixion. 'Know, then, beautiful Goddess, that
+the tail of the Queen of Mesopotamia's peacock was made of some plumage
+she had stolen from the wings of Cupid.'
+
+'And what was the reason that prevented you from telling me before?'
+
+'Because, beautiful Juno, I am the most discreet of men, and respect the
+secret of a lady, however trifling.'
+
+'I am glad to hear that,' replied Juno, and they re-entered the palace.
+
+Mercury met Juno and Ixion in the gallery leading to the grand
+banqueting hall.
+
+'I was looking for you,' said the God, shaking his head. 'Jove is in a
+sublime rage. Dinner has been ready this hour.'
+
+The King of Thessaly and the Queen of Heaven exchanged a glance and
+entered the saloon. Jove looked up with a brow of thunder, but did not
+condescend to send forth a single flash of anger. Jove looked up and
+Jove looked down. All Olympus trembled as the Father of Gods and men
+resumed his soup. The rest of the guests seemed nervous and reserved,
+except Cupid, who said immediately to Juno, 'Your Majesty has been
+detained?'
+
+'I fell asleep in a bower reading Apollo's last poem,' replied Juno. 'I
+am lucky, however, in finding a companion in my negligence. Ixion, where
+have you been?'
+
+'Take a glass of nectar, Juno,' said Cupid, with eyes twinkling with
+mischief; 'and perhaps Ixion will join us.'
+
+This was the most solemn banquet ever celebrated in Olympus. Everyone
+seemed out of humour or out of spirits. Jupiter spoke only in
+monosyllables of suppressed rage, that sounded like distant thunder.
+Apollo whispered to Minerva. Mercury never opened his lips, but
+occasionally exchanged significant glances with Ganymede. Mars
+compensated, by his attentions to Venus, for his want of conversation.
+Cupid employed himself in asking disagreeable questions. At length
+the Goddesses retired. Mercury exerted himself to amuse Jove, but the
+Thunderer scarcely deigned to smile at his best stories. Mars picked
+his teeth, Apollo played with his rings, Ixion was buried in a profound
+reverie.
+
+It was a great relief to all when Ganymede summoned them to the presence
+of their late companions.
+
+'I have written a comment upon your inscription,' said Minerva to Ixion,
+'and am anxious for your opinion of it.'
+
+'I am a wretched critic,' said the King, breaking away from her. Juno
+smiled upon him in the distance.
+
+'Ixion,' said Venus, as he passed by, 'come and talk to me.'
+
+The bold Thessalian blushed, he stammered out an unmeaning excuse, he
+quitted the astonished but good-natured Goddess, and seated himself by
+Juno, and as he seated himself his moody brow seemed suddenly illumined
+with brilliant light.
+
+'Is it so?' said Venus.
+
+'Hem!' said Minerva.
+
+'Ha, ha!' said Cupid.
+
+Jupiter played piquette with Mercury.
+
+'Everything goes wrong to-day,' said the King of Heaven; 'cards
+wretched, and kept waiting for dinner, and by-----a mortal!'
+
+'Your Majesty must not be surprised,' said the good-natured Mercury,
+with whom Ixion was no favourite. 'Your Majesty must not be very much
+surprised at the conduct of this creature. Considering what he is, and
+where he is, I am only astonished that his head is not more turned than
+it appears to be. A man, a thing made of mud, and in Heaven! Only think,
+sire! Is it not enough to inflame the brain of any child of clay? To be
+sure, keeping your Majesty from dinner is little short of celestial high
+treason. I hardly expected that, indeed. To order me about, to treat
+Ganymede as his own lacquey, and, in short, to command the whole
+household; all this might be expected from such a person in such a
+situation, but I confess I did think he had some little respect left for
+your Majesty.'
+
+'And he does order you about, eh?' inquired Jove. 'I have the spades.'
+
+'Oh! 'tis quite ludicrous,' responded the son of Maia. 'Your Majesty
+would not expect from me the offices that this upstart daily requires.'
+
+'Eternal destiny! is't possible? That is my trick. And Ganymede, too?'
+
+'Oh! quite shocking, I assure you, sire,' said the beautiful cupbearer,
+leaning over the chair of Jove with all the easy insolence of a
+privileged favourite. 'Really, sire, if Ixion is to go on in the way he
+does, either he or I must quit.'
+
+'Is it possible?' exclaimed Jupiter. 'But I can believe anything of a
+man who keeps me waiting for dinner. Two and three make five.'
+
+'It is Juno that encourages him so,' said Ganymede.
+
+'Does she encourage him?' inquired Jove.
+
+'Everybody notices it,' protested Ganymede.
+
+'It is indeed a little noticed,' observed Mercury.
+
+'What business has such a fellow to speak to Juno?' exclaimed Jove. 'A
+mere mortal, a mere miserable mortal! You have the point. How I have
+been deceived in this fellow! Who ever could have supposed that,
+after all my generosity to him, he would ever have kept me waiting for
+dinner?'
+
+'He was walking with Juno,' said Ganymede. 'It was all a sham about
+their having met by accident. Cupid saw them.'
+
+'Ha!' said Jupiter, turning pale; 'you don't say so! Repiqued, as I am a
+God. That is mine. Where is the Queen?'
+
+'Talking to Ixion, sire,' said Mercury. 'Oh, I beg your pardon, sire; I
+did not know you meant the queen of diamonds.'
+
+'Never mind. I am repiqued, and I have been kept waiting for dinner.
+Accursed be this day! Is Ixion really talking to Juno? We will not
+endure this.'
+
+'Where is Juno?' demanded Jupiter.
+
+'I am sure I cannot say,' said Venus, with a smile.
+
+'I am sure I do not know,' said Minerva, with a sneer.
+
+'Where is Ixion?' said Cupid, laughing outright.
+
+'Mercury, Ganymede, find the Queen of Heaven instantly,' thundered the
+Father of Gods and men.
+
+The celestial messenger and the heavenly page flew away out of different
+doors. There was a terrible, an immortal silence. Sublime rage lowered
+on the brow of Jove like a storm upon the mountain-top. Minerva seated
+herself at the card-table and played at Patience. Venus and Cupid
+tittered in the background. Shortly returned the envoys, Mercury looking
+solemn, Ganymede malignant.
+
+'Well?' inquired Jove; and all Olympus trembled at the monosyllable.
+
+Mercury shook his head.
+
+'Her Majesty has been walking on the terrace with the King of Thessaly,'
+replied Ganymede.
+
+'Where is she now, sir?' demanded Jupiter.
+
+Mercury shrugged his shoulders.
+
+'Her Majesty is resting herself in the pavilion of Cupid, with the King
+of Thessaly,' replied Ganymede.
+
+'Confusion!' exclaimed the Father of Gods and men; and he rose and
+seized a candle from the table, scattering the cards in all directions.
+Every one present, Minerva and Venus, and Mars and Apollo, and Mercury
+and Ganymede, and the Muses, and the Graces, and all the winged
+genii--each seized a candle; rifling the chandeliers, each followed Jove.
+
+'This way,' said Mercury.
+
+'This way,' said Ganymede.
+
+'This way, this way!' echoed the celestial crowd.
+
+'Mischief!' cried Cupid; 'I must save my victims.'
+
+They were all upon the terrace. The Father of Gods and men, though both
+in a passion and a hurry, moved with dignity. It was, as customary in
+Heaven, a clear and starry night; but this eve Diana was indisposed, or
+otherwise engaged, and there was no moonlight. They were in sight of the
+pavilion.
+
+'What are you?' inquired Cupid of one of the genii, who accidentally
+extinguished his candle.
+
+'I am a cloud,' answered the winged genius.
+
+'A cloud! Just the thing. Now do me a shrewd turn, and Cupid is ever
+your debtor. Fly, fly, pretty cloud, and encompass yon pavilion with
+your form. Away! ask no questions; swift as my word.'
+
+'I declare there is a fog,' said Venus.
+
+'An evening mist in Heaven!' said Minerva.
+
+'Where is Nox?' said Jove. 'Everything goes wrong. Who ever heard of a
+mist in Heaven?'
+
+'My candle is out,' said Apollo.
+
+'And mine, too,' said Mars.
+
+'And mine, and mine, and mine,' said Mercury and Ganymede, and the Muses
+and the Graces.
+
+'All the candles are out!' said Cupid; 'a regular fog. I cannot even see
+the pavilion: it must be hereabouts, though,' said the God to himself.
+'So, so; I should be at home in my own pavilion, and am tolerably
+accustomed to stealing about in the dark. There is a step; and here,
+surely, is the lock. The door opens, but the cloud enters before me.
+Juno, Juno,' whispered the God of Love, 'we are all here. Be contented
+to escape, like many other innocent dames, with your reputation only
+under a cloud: it will soon disperse; and lo! the heaven is clearing.'
+
+'It must have been the heat of our flambeaux,' said Venus; 'for see, the
+mist is vanished; here is the pavilion.'
+
+Ganymede ran forward, and dashed open the door. Ixion was alone.
+
+'Seize him!' said Jove.
+
+'Juno is not here,' said Mercury, with an air of blended congratulation
+and disappointment.
+
+'Never mind,' said Jove; 'seize him! He kept me waiting for dinner.'
+
+'Is this your hospitality, �giochus?' exclaimed Ixion, in a tone of
+bullying innocence. 'I shall defend myself.'
+
+'Seize him, seize him!' exclaimed Jupiter. 'What! do you all falter? Are
+you afraid of a mortal?'
+
+'And a Thessalian?' added Ganymede.
+
+No one advanced.
+
+'Send for Hercules,' said Jove.
+
+'I will fetch him in an instant,' said Ganymede.
+
+'I protest,' said the King of Thessaly, 'against this violation of the
+most sacred rights.'
+
+'The marriage tie?' said Mercury.
+
+'The dinner-hour?' said Jove.
+
+'It is no use talking sentiment to Ixion,' said Venus; 'all mortals are
+callous.'
+
+'Adventures are to the adventurous,' said Minerva.
+
+'Here is Hercules! here is Hercules!'
+
+'Seize him!' said Jove; 'seize that man.'
+
+In vain the mortal struggled with the irresistible demigod.
+
+'Shall I fetch your thunderbolt, Jove?' inquired Ganymede.
+
+'Anything short of eternal punishment is unworthy of a God,' answered
+Jupiter, with great dignity. 'Apollo, bring me a wheel of your
+chariot.'
+
+'What shall I do to-morrow morning?' inquired the God of Light.
+
+'Order an eclipse,' replied Jove. 'Bind the insolent wretch to the
+wheel; hurl him to Hades; its motion shall be perpetual.'
+
+'What am I to bind him with?' inquired Hercules.
+
+'The girdle of Venus,' replied the Thunderer.
+
+'What is all this?' inquired Juno, advancing, pale and agitated.
+
+'Come along; you shall see,' answered Jupiter. 'Follow me, follow me.'
+
+They all followed the leader, all the Gods, all the genii; in the midst,
+the brawny husband of Hebe bearing Ixion aloft, bound to the fatal
+wheel. They reached the terrace; they descended the sparkling steps of
+lapis-lazuli. Hercules held his burthen on high, ready, at a nod, to
+plunge the hapless but presumptuous mortal through space into Hades. The
+heavenly group surrounded him, and peeped over the starry abyss. It was
+a fine moral, and demonstrated the usual infelicity that attends unequal
+connection.
+
+'Celestial despot!' said Ixion.
+
+In a moment all sounds were hushed, as they listened to the last words
+of the unrivalled victim. Juno, in despair, leant upon the respective
+arms of Venus and Minerva.
+
+'Celestial despot!' said Ixion, 'I defy the immortal ingenuity of thy
+cruelty. My memory must be as eternal as thy torture: that will support
+me.'
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Ixion In Heaven, by Benjamin Disraeli
+
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+   "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" >
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+<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en">
+  <head>
+    <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=UTF-8" />
+    <title>
+      Ixion in Heaven, by Benjamin Disraeli
+    </title>
+    <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve">
+
+    body { margin:5%; background:#faebd7; text-align:justify}
+    P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; }
+    H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; }
+    hr  { width: 50%; text-align: center;}
+    .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; }
+    blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;}
+    .mynote    {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;}
+    .toc       { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;}
+    .toc2      { margin-left: 20%;}
+    div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; }
+    .figleft   {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;}
+    .figright  {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;}
+    pre     { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 5%;}
+
+</style>
+  </head>
+  <body>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Ixion In Heaven, by Benjamin Disraeli
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Ixion In Heaven
+
+Author: Benjamin Disraeli
+
+Release Date: December 3, 2006 [EBook #20009]
+Last Updated: September 7, 2016
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: UTF-8
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IXION IN HEAVEN ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br />
+    </p>
+    <h1>
+      IXION IN HEAVEN
+    </h1>
+    <h2>
+      By Benjamin Disraeli
+    </h2>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br />
+    </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+     <i>ADVERTISEMENT</i>
+
+     <i>&lsquo;IXION, King of Thessaly, famous for its horses, married
+     Dia, daughter of Deioneus, who, in consequence of his son-
+     in-law&rsquo;s non-fulfilment of his engagements, stole away some
+     of the monarch&rsquo;s steeds. Ixion concealed his resentment
+     under the mask of friendship. He invited his father-in-law
+     to a feast at Larissa, the capital of his kingdom; and when
+     Deioneus arrived according to his appointment, he threw him
+     into a pit which he had previously filled with burning
+     coals. This treachery so irritated the neighbouring princes,
+     that all of them refused to perform the usual ceremony, by
+     which a man was then purified of murder, and Ixion was
+     shunned and despised by all mankind. Jupiter had compassion
+     upon him, carried him to Heaven, and introduced him to the
+     Father of the Gods. Such a favour, which ought to have
+     awakened gratitude in Ixion, only served to inflame his bad
+     passions; he became enamoured of Juno, and attempted to
+     seduce her. Juno was willing to gratify the passion of
+     Ixion, though, according to others,&rsquo; &amp;c.&mdash;Classical
+     Dictionary, art. &lsquo;Ixion.&lsquo;</i>
+		 </pre>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br />
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br />
+    </p>
+    <h2>
+      Contents
+    </h2>
+    <table summary="">
+      <tr>
+        <td>
+          <p>
+            <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> <big><b>IXION IN HEAVEN</b></big> </a>
+          </p>
+          <p class="toc">
+            <a href="#link2H_PART1"> PART I. </a>
+          </p>
+          <p class="toc">
+            <a href="#link2H_PART2"> PART II. </a>
+          </p>
+        </td>
+      </tr>
+    </table>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br />
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br />
+    </p>
+    <h2>
+      IXION IN HEAVEN
+    </h2>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2H_PART1" id="link2H_PART1">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      PART I.
+    </h2>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+     <i>An Errant King</i>
+</pre>
+    <p>
+      THE thunder groaned, the wind howled, the rain fell in hissing torrents,
+      impenetrable darkness covered the earth. A blue and forky flash darted a
+      momentary light over the landscape. A Doric temple rose in the centre of a
+      small and verdant plain, surrounded on all sides by green and hanging
+      woods.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Jove is my only friend,&rsquo; exclaimed a wanderer, as he muffled himself up
+      in his mantle; &lsquo;and were it not for the porch of his temple, this night,
+      methinks, would complete the work of my loving wife and my dutiful
+      subjects.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The thunder died away, the wind sank into silence, the rain ceased, and
+      the parting clouds exhibited the glittering crescent of the young moon. A
+      sonorous and majestic voice sounded from the skies:&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Who art thou that hast no other friend than Jove?&rsquo; &lsquo;One whom all mankind
+      unite in calling a wretch.&rsquo; &lsquo;Art thou a philosopher?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;If philosophy be endurance. But for the rest, I was sometime a king, and
+      am now a scatterling.&rsquo; &lsquo;How do they call thee? &lsquo;Ixion of Thessaly.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Ixion of Thessaly! I thought he was a happy man. I heard that he was just
+      married.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Father of Gods and men! for I deem thee such, Thessaly is not Olympus.
+      Conjugal felicity is only the portion of the immortals!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Hem! What! was Dia jealous, which is common; or false, which is commoner;
+      or both, which is commonest?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;It may be neither. We quarrelled about nothing. Where there is little
+      sympathy, or too much, the splitting of a straw is plot enough for a
+      domestic tragedy. I was careless, her friends stigmatised me as callous;
+      she cold, her friends styled her magnanimous. Public opinion was all on
+      her side, merely because I did not choose that the world should interfere
+      between me and my wife. Dia took the world&rsquo;s advice upon every point, and
+      the world decided that she always acted rightly. However, life is life,
+      either in a palace or a cave. I am glad you ordered it to leave off
+      thundering.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;A cool dog this. And Dia left thee? &lsquo;No; I left her.&rsquo; &lsquo;What, craven?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Not exactly. The truth is&mdash;&mdash;-&rsquo;tis a long story.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      I was over head and ears in debt.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Ah! that accounts for everything. Nothing so harassing as a want of
+      money! But what lucky fellows you mortals are with your <i>post-obits!</i>
+      We Immortals are deprived of this resource. I was obliged to get up a
+      rebellion against my father, because he kept me so short, and could not
+      die.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;You could have married for money. I did.&rsquo; &lsquo;I had no opportunity, there
+      was so little female society in those days. When I came out, there were no
+      heiresses except the Parcae, confirmed old maids; and no very rich
+      dowager, except my grandmother, old Terra.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Just the thing; the older the better. However, I married Dia, the
+      daughter of Deioneus, with a prodigious portion; but after the ceremony
+      the old gentleman would not fulfil his part of the contract without my
+      giving up my stud. Can you conceive anything more unreasonable? I
+      smothered my resentment at the time; for the truth is, my tradesmen all
+      renewed my credit on the strength of the match, and so we went on very
+      well for a year; but at last they began to smell a rat, and grew
+      importunate. I entreated Dia to interfere; but she was a paragon of
+      daughters, and always took the side of her father. If she had only been
+      dutiful to her husband, she would have been a perfect woman. At last I
+      invited Deioneus to the Larissa races, with the intention of conciliating
+      him. The unprincipled old man bought the horse that I had backed, and by
+      which I intended to have redeemed my fortunes, and withdrew it. My book
+      was ruined. I dissembled my rage. I dug a pit in our garden, and filled it
+      with burning coals. As my father-in-law and myself were taking a stroll
+      after dinner, the worthy Deioneus fell in, merely by accident. Dia
+      proclaimed me the murderer of her father, and, as a satisfaction to her
+      wounded feelings, earnestly requested her subjects to decapitate her
+      husband. She certainly was the best of daughters. There was no
+      withstanding public opinion, an infuriated rabble, and a magnanimous wife
+      at the same time. They surrounded my palace: I cut my way through the
+      greasy-capped multitude, sword in hand, and gained a neighbouring Court,
+      where I solicited my brother princes to purify me from the supposed
+      murder. If I had only murdered a subject, they would have supported me
+      against the people; but Deioneus being a crowned head, like themselves,
+      they declared they would not countenance so immoral a being as his
+      son-in-law. And so, at length, after much wandering, and shunned by all my
+      species, I am here, Jove, in much higher society than I ever expected to
+      mingle.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Well, thou art a frank dog, and in a sufficiently severe scrape. The Gods
+      must have pity on those for whom men have none. It is evident that Earth
+      is too hot for thee at present, so I think thou hadst better come and stay
+      a few weeks with us in Heaven.&rsquo; &lsquo;Take my thanks for hecatombs, great Jove.
+      Thou art, indeed, a God!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I hardly know whether our life will suit you. We dine at sunset; for
+      Apollo is so much engaged that he cannot join us sooner, and no dinner
+      goes off well without him. In the morning you are your own master, and
+      must find amusement where you can. Diana will show you some tolerable
+      sport. Do you shoot?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;No arrow surer. Fear not for me, Ægiochus: I am always at home. But how
+      am I to get to you?&rsquo; &lsquo;I will send Mercury; he is the best travelling
+      companion in the world. What ho! my Eagle!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The clouds joined, and darkness again fell over the earth.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;So! tread softly. Don&rsquo;t be nervous. Are you sick?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;A little nausea; &lsquo;tis nothing.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;The novelty of the motion. The best thing is a beefsteak. We will stop at
+      Taurus and take one.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;You have been a great traveller, Mercury?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I have seen the world.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Ah! a wondrous spectacle. I long to travel.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;The same thing over and over again. Little novelty and much change. I am
+      wearied with exertion, and if I could get a pension would retire.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;And yet travel brings wisdom.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;It cures us of care. Seeing much we feel little, and learn how very petty
+      are all those great affairs which cost us such anxiety.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I feel that already myself. Floating in this blue aether, what the devil
+      is my wife to me, and her dirty Earth! My persecuting enemies seem so many
+      pismires; and as for my debts, which have occasioned me so many brooding
+      moments, honour and infamy, credit and beggary, seem to me alike
+      ridiculous.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Your mind is opening, Ixion. You will soon be a man of the world. To the
+      left, and keep clear of that star.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Who lives there?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;The Fates know, not I. Some low people who are trying to shine into
+      notice. &lsquo;Tis a parvenu planet, and only sprung into space within this
+      century. We do not visit them.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Poor devils! I feel hungry.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;All right. We shall get into Heaven by the first dinner bolt. You cannot
+      arrive at a strange house at a better moment. We shall just have time to
+      dress. I would not spoil my appetite by luncheon. Jupiter keeps a capital
+      cook.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I have heard of Nectar and Ambrosia.&rsquo; &lsquo;Poh! nobody touches them. They are
+      regular old-fashioned celestial food, and merely put upon the side-table.
+      Nothing goes down in Heaven now but infernal cookery. We took our chef
+      from Proserpine.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Were you ever in Hell?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Several times. &lsquo;Tis the fashion now among the Olympians to pass the
+      winter there.&rsquo; &lsquo;Is this the season in Heaven?&rsquo; &lsquo;Yes; you are lucky.
+      Olympus is quite full.&rsquo; &lsquo;It was kind of Jupiter to invite me.&rsquo; &lsquo;Ay! he has
+      his good points. And, no doubt, he has taken a liking to you, which is all
+      very well. But be upon your guard. He has no heart, and is as capricious
+      as he is tyrannical.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Gods cannot be more unkind to me than men have been.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;All those who have suffered think they have seen the worst. A great
+      mistake. However, you are now in the high road to preferment, so we will
+      not be dull. There are some good fellows enough amongst us. You will like
+      old Neptune.&rsquo; &lsquo;Is he there now?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Yes, he generally passes his summer with us. There is little stirring in
+      the ocean at that season.&rsquo; &lsquo;I am anxious to see Mars.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Oh! a brute, more a bully than a hero. Not at all in the best set. These
+      mustachioed gentry are by no means the rage at present in Olympus. The
+      women are all literary now, and Minerva has quite eclipsed Venus. Apollo
+      is our hero. You must read his last work.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I hate reading.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;So do I. I have no time, and seldom do anything in that way but glance at
+      a newspaper. Study and action will not combine.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I suppose I shall find the Goddesses very proud?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;You will find them as you find women below, of different dispositions
+      with the same object. Venus is a flirt; Minerva a prude, who fancies she
+      has a correct taste and a strong mind; and Juno a politician. As for the
+      rest, faint heart never won fair lady; take a friendly hint, and do not be
+      alarmed.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I fear nothing. My mind mounts with my fortunes. We are above the clouds.
+      They form beneath us a vast and snowy region, dim and irregular, as I have
+      sometimes seen them clustering upon the horizon&rsquo;s ridge at sunset, like a
+      raging sea stilled by some sudden supernatural frost and frozen into form!
+      How bright the air above us, and how delicate its fragrant breath! I
+      scarcely breathe, and yet my pulses beat like my first youth. I hardly
+      feel my being. A splendour falls upon your presence. You seem, indeed, a
+      God! Am I so glorious? This, this is Heaven!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The travellers landed on a vast flight of sparkling steps of lapis-lazuli.
+      Ascending, they entered beautiful gardens; winding walks that yielded to
+      the feet, and accelerated your passage by their rebounding pressure;
+      fragrant shrubs covered with dazzling flowers, the fleeting tints of which
+      changed every moment; groups of tall trees, with strange birds of
+      brilliant and variegated plumage, singing and reposing in their sheeny
+      foliage, and fountains of perfumes.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Before them rose an illimitable and golden palace, with high spreading
+      domes of pearl, and long windows of crystal. Around the huge portal of
+      ruby was ranged a company of winged genii, who smiled on Mercury as he
+      passed them with his charge.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;The Father of Gods and men is dressing,&rsquo; said the son of Maia. &lsquo;I shall
+      attend his toilet and inform him of your arrival. These are your rooms.
+      Dinner will be ready in half an hour. I will call for you as I go down.
+      You can be formally presented in the evening. At that time, inspired by
+      liqueurs and his matchless band of wind instruments, you will agree with
+      the world that Ægiochus is the most finished God in existence.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Now, Ixion, are you ready?&rsquo; &lsquo;Even so. What says Jove?&rsquo; &lsquo;He smiled, but
+      said nothing. He was trying on a new robe. By this time he is seated.
+      Hark! the thunder. Come on!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      They entered a cupolaed hall. Seats of ivory and gold were ranged round a
+      circular table of cedar, inlaid with the campaigns against the Titans, in
+      silver exquisitely worked, a nuptial present of Vulcan. The service of
+      gold plate threw all the ideas of the King of Thessaly as to royal
+      magnificence into the darkest shade. The enormous plateau represented the
+      constellations. Ixion viewed the Father of Gods and men with great
+      interest, who, however, did not notice him. He acknowledged the majesty of
+      that countenance whose nod shook Olympus. Majestically robust and
+      luxuriantly lusty, his tapering waist was evidently immortal, for it
+      defied Time, and his splendid auburn curls, parted on his forehead with
+      celestial precision, descended over cheeks glowing with the purple
+      radiancy of perpetual manhood.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The haughty Juno was seated on his left hand and Ceres on his right. For
+      the rest of the company there was Neptune, Latona, Minerva, and Apollo,
+      and when Mercury and Ixion had taken their places, one seat was still
+      vacant.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Where is Diana?&rsquo; inquired Jupiter, with a frown.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;My sister is hunting,&rsquo; said Apollo.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;She is always too late for dinner,&rsquo; said Jupiter. &lsquo;No habit is less
+      Goddess-like.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Godlike pursuits cannot be expected to induce Goddess-like manners,&rsquo; said
+      Juno, with a sneer.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I have no doubt Diana will be here directly,&rsquo; said Latona, mildly.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Jupiter seemed pacified, and at that instant the absent guest returned.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Good sport, Di?&rsquo; inquired Neptune.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Very fair, uncle. Mamma,&rsquo; continued the sister of Apollo, addressing
+      herself to Juno, whom she ever thus styled when she wished to conciliate
+      her, &lsquo;I have brought you a new peacock.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Juno was fond of pets, and was conciliated by the present.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Bacchus made a great noise about this wine, Mercury,&rsquo; said Jupiter,&rsquo; but
+      I think with little cause. What think you?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;It pleases me, but I am fatigued, and then all wine is agreeable.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;You have had a long journey,&rsquo; replied the Thunderer. &lsquo;Ixion, I am glad to
+      see you in Heaven.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Your Majesty arrived to-day?&rsquo; inquired Minerva, to whom the King of
+      Thessaly sat next.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Within this hour.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;You must leave off talking of Time now,&rsquo; said Minerva, with a severe
+      smile. &lsquo;Pray is there anything new in Greece?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I have not been at all in society lately.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;No new edition of Homer? I admire him exceedingly.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;All about Greece interests me,&rsquo; said Apollo, who, although handsome, was
+      a somewhat melancholy lack-a-daisical looking personage, with his shirt
+      collar thrown open, and his long curls theatrically arranged. &lsquo;All about
+      Greece interests me. I always consider Greece my peculiar property. My
+      best poems were written at Delphi. I travelled in Greece when I was young.
+      I envy mankind.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Indeed!&rsquo; said Ixion.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Yes: they at least can look forward to a termination of the ennui of
+      existence, but for us Celestials there is no prospect. Say what they like,
+      immortality is a bore.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;You eat nothing, Apollo,&rsquo; said Ceres.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Nor drink,&rsquo; said Neptune.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;To eat, to drink, what is it but to live; and what is life but death, if
+      death be that which all men deem it, a thing insufferable, and to be
+      shunned. I refresh myself now only with soda-water and biscuits. Ganymede,
+      bring some.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Now, although the <i>cuisine</i> of Olympus was considered perfect, the
+      forlorn poet had unfortunately fixed upon the only two articles which were
+      not comprised in its cellar or larder. In Heaven, there was neither
+      soda-water nor biscuits. A great confusion consequently ensued; but at
+      length the bard, whose love of fame was only equalled by his horror of
+      getting fat, consoled himself with a swan stuffed with truffles, and a
+      bottle of strong Tenedos wine.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;What do you think of Homer?&rsquo; inquired Minerva of Apollo. &lsquo;Is he not
+      delightful?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;If you think so.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Nay, I am desirous of your opinion.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Then you should not have given me yours, for your taste is too fine for
+      me to dare to differ with it.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I have suspected, for some time, that you are rather a heretic&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Why, the truth is,&rsquo; replied Apollo, playing with his rings, &lsquo;I do not
+      think much of Homer. Homer was not esteemed in his own age, and our
+      contemporaries are generally our best judges. The fact is, there are very
+      few people who are qualified to decide upon matters of taste. A certain
+      set, for certain reasons, resolve to cry up a certain writer, and the
+      great mass soon join in. All is cant. And the present admiration of Homer
+      is not less so. They say I have borrowed a great deal from him. The truth
+      is, I never read Homer since I was a child, and I thought of him then what
+      I think of him now, a writer of some wild irregular power, totally
+      deficient in taste. Depend upon it, our contemporaries are our best
+      judges, and his contemporaries decided that Homer was nothing. A great
+      poet cannot be kept down. Look at my case. Marsyas said of my first volume
+      that it was pretty good poetry for a God, and in answer I wrote a satire,
+      and flayed Marsyas alive. But what is poetry, and what is criticism, and
+      what is life? Air. And what is air? Do you know? I don&rsquo;t. All is mystery,
+      and all is gloom, and ever and anon from out the clouds a star breaks
+      forth, and glitters, and that star is Poetry.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Splendid!&rsquo; exclaimed Minerva.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I do not exactly understand you,&rsquo; said Neptune.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Have you heard from Proserpine, lately?&rsquo; inquired Jupiter of Ceres.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Yesterday,&rsquo; said the domestic mother. &lsquo;They talk of soon joining us. But
+      Pluto is at present so busy, owing to the amazing quantity of wars going
+      on now, that I am almost afraid he will scarcely be able to accompany
+      her.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Juno exchanged a telegraphic nod with Ceres. The Goddesses rose, and
+      retired.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Come, old boy,&rsquo; said Jupiter to Ixion, instantly throwing off all his
+      chivalric majesty, &lsquo;I drink your welcome in a magnum of Maraschino. Damn
+      your poetry, Apollo, and, Mercury, give us one of your good stories.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Well! what do you think of him?&rsquo; asked Juno.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;He appears to have a fine mind,&rsquo; said Minerva.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Poh! he has very fine eyes,&rsquo; said Juno.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;He seems a very nice, quiet young gentleman,&rsquo; said Ceres.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I have no doubt he is very amiable,&rsquo; said Latona.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;He must have felt very strange,&rsquo; said Diana.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Hercules arrived with his bride Hebe; soon after the Graces dropped in,
+      the most delightful personages in the world for a <i>soiree</i>, so useful
+      and ready for anything. Afterwards came a few of the Muses, Thalia,
+      Melpomene, and Terpsichore, famous for a charade or a proverb. Jupiter
+      liked to be amused in the evening. Bacchus also came, but finding that the
+      Gods had not yet left their wine, retired to pay them a visit.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Ganymede announced coffee in the saloon of Juno. Jupiter was in superb
+      good humour. He was amused by his mortal guest. He had condescended to
+      tell one of his best stories in his best style, about Leda, not too
+      scandalous, but gay.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Those were bright days,&rsquo; said Neptune.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;We can remember,&rsquo; said the Thunderer, with a twinkling eye. &lsquo;These youths
+      have fallen upon duller times. There are no fine women now. Ixion, I drink
+      to the health of your wife.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;With all my heart, and may we never be nearer than we are at present.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Good! i&rsquo;faith; Apollo, your arm. Now for the ladies. La, la, la, la! la,
+      la, la, la!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Thunderer entered the saloon of Juno with that bow which no God could
+      rival; all rose, and the King of Heaven seated himself between Ceres and
+      Latona. The melancholy Apollo stood apart, and was soon carried off by
+      Minerva to an assembly at the house of Mnemosyne. Mercury chatted with the
+      Graces, and Bacchus with Diana. The three Muses favoured the company with
+      singing, and the Queen of Heaven approached Ixion.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Does your Majesty dance?&rsquo; she haughtily inquired.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;On earth; I have few accomplishments even there, and none in Heaven.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;You have led a strange life! I have heard of your adventures.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;A king who has lost his crown may generally gain at least experience.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Your courage is firm.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I have felt too much to care for much. Yesterday I was a vagabond exposed
+      to every pitiless storm, and now I am the guest of Jove. While there is
+      life there is hope, and he who laughs at Destiny will gain Fortune. I
+      would go through the past again to enjoy the present, and feel that, after
+      all, I am my wife&rsquo;s debtor, since, through her conduct, I can gaze upon
+      you.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;No great spectacle. If that be all. I wish you better fortune.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I desire no greater.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;You are moderate.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I am perhaps more unreasonable than you imagine.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Indeed!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Their eyes met; the dark orbs of the Thessalian did not quail before the
+      flashing vision of the Goddess. Juno grew pale. Juno turned away.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2H_PART2" id="link2H_PART2">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      PART II.
+    </h2>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+     <i>&lsquo;Others say it was only a cloud.&rsquo;</i>
+
+     <i>A Mortal Among the Gods.</i>
+</pre>
+    <p>
+      MERCURY and Ganymede were each lolling on an opposite couch in the
+      antechamber of Olympus.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;It is wonderful,&rsquo; said the son of Maia, yawning. &lsquo;It is incredible,&rsquo; 
+      rejoined the cupbearer of Jove, stretching his legs.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;A miserable mortal!&rsquo; exclaimed the God, elevating his eyebrows.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;A vile Thessalian!&rsquo; said the beautiful Phrygian, shrugging his shoulders.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Not three days back an outcast among his own wretched species!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;And now commanding everybody in Heaven.&rsquo; &lsquo;He shall not command me,
+      though,&rsquo; said Mercury.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Will he not?&rsquo; replied Ganymede. &lsquo;Why, what do you think? only last night;
+      hark! here he comes.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The companions jumped up from their couches; a light laugh was heard. The
+      cedar portal was flung open, and Ixion lounged in, habited in a loose
+      morning robe, and kicking before him one of his slippers. &lsquo;Ah!&rsquo; exclaimed
+      the King of Thessaly, &lsquo;the very fellows I wanted to see! Ganymede, bring
+      me some nectar; and, Mercury, run and tell Jove that I shall not dine at
+      home to-day.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The messenger and the page exchanged looks of indignant consternation.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Well! what are you waiting for?&rsquo; continued Ixion, looking round from the
+      mirror in which he was arranging his locks. The messenger and the page
+      disappeared.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;So! this is Heaven,&rsquo; exclaimed the husband of Dia, flinging himself upon
+      one of the couches; &lsquo;and a very pleasant place too. These worthy Immortals
+      required their minds to be opened, and I trust I have effectually
+      performed the necessary operation. They wanted to keep me down with their
+      dull old-fashioned celestial airs, but I fancy I have given them change
+      for their talent. To make your way in Heaven you must command. These
+      exclusives sink under the audacious invention of an aspiring mind. Jove
+      himself is really a fine old fellow, with some notions too. I am a prime
+      favourite, and no one is greater authority with Ægiochus on all subjects,
+      from the character of the fair sex or the pedigree of a courser, down to
+      the cut of a robe or the flavour of a dish. Thanks, Ganymede,&rsquo; continued
+      the Thessalian, as he took the goblet from his returning attendant.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I drink to your <i>bonnes fortunes</i>. Splendid! This nectar makes me
+      feel quite immortal. By-the-bye, I hear sweet sounds. Who is in the Hall
+      of Music?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;The Goddesses, royal sir, practise a new air of Euterpe, the words by
+      Apollo. &lsquo;Tis pretty, and will doubtless be very popular, for it is all
+      about moonlight and the misery of existence.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I warrant it.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;You have a taste for poetry yourself?&rsquo; inquired Ganymede.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Not the least,&rsquo; replied Ixion.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Apollo,&rsquo; continued the heavenly page, &lsquo;is a great genius, though Marsyas
+      said that he never would be a poet because he was a God, and had no heart.
+      But do you think, sir, that a poet does indeed need a heart?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I really cannot say. I know my wife always said I had a bad heart and
+      worse head; but what she meant, upon my honour I never could understand.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Minerva will ask you to write in her album.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Will she indeed! I am sorry to hear it, for I can scarcely scrawl my
+      signature. I should think that Jove himself cared little for all this
+      nonsense.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Jove loves an epigram. He does not esteem Apollo&rsquo;s works at all. Jove is
+      of the classical school, and admires satire, provided there be no
+      allusions to Gods and kings.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Of course; I quite agree with him. I remember we had a confounded poet at
+      Larissa who proved my family lived before the deluge, and asked me for a
+      pension. I refused him, and then he wrote an epigram asserting that I
+      sprang from the veritable stones thrown by Deucalion and Pyrrha at the
+      re-peopling of the earth, and retained all the properties of my
+      ancestors.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Ha, ha! Hark! there&rsquo;s a thunderbolt! I must run to Jove.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;And I will look in on the musicians. This way, I think?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Up the ruby staircase, turn to your right, down the amethyst gallery.
+      Farewell!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Good-bye; a lively lad that!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The King of Thessaly entered the Hall of Music with its golden walls and
+      crystal dome. The Queen of Heaven was reclining in an easy chair, cutting
+      out peacocks in small sheets of note paper. Minerva was making a pencil
+      observation on a manuscript copy of the song: Apollo listened with
+      deference to her laudatory criticisms. Another divine dame, standing by
+      the side of Euterpe, who was seated by the harp, looked up as Ixion
+      entered. The wild liquid glance of her soft but radiant countenance
+      denoted the famed Goddess of Beauty.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Juno just acknowledged the entrance of Ixion by a slight and haughty
+      inclination of the head, and then resumed her employment. Minerva asked
+      him his opinion of her amendment, of which he greatly approved. Apollo
+      greeted him with a melancholy smile, and congratulated him on being
+      mortal. Venus complimented him on his visit to Olympus, and expressed the
+      pleasure that she experienced in making his acquaintance.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;What do you think of Heaven?&rsquo; inquired Venus, in a soft still voice, and
+      with a smile like summer lightning.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I never found it so enchanting as at this moment,&rsquo; replied Ixion.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;A little dull? For myself, I pass my time chiefly at Cnidos: you must
+      come and visit me there. &lsquo;Tis the most charming place in the world. &lsquo;Tis
+      said, you know, that our onions are like other people&rsquo;s roses. We will
+      take care of you, if your wife come.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;No fear of that. She always remains at home and piques herself on her
+      domestic virtues, which means pickling, and quarrelling with her husband.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Ah! I see you are a droll. Very good indeed. Well, for my part, I like a
+      watering-place existence. Cnidos, Paphos, Cythera; you will usually find
+      me at one of these places. I like the easy distraction of a career without
+      any visible result. At these fascinating spots your gloomy race, to whom,
+      by-the-bye, I am exceedingly partial, appear emancipated from the wearing
+      fetters of their regular, dull, orderly, methodical, moral, political,
+      toiling existence. I pride myself upon being the Goddess of
+      watering-places. You really must pay me a visit at Cnidos.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Such an invitation requires no repetition. And Cnidos is your favourite
+      spot?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Why, it was so; but of late it has become so inundated with invalid
+      Asiatics and valetudinarian Persians, that the simultaneous influx of the
+      handsome heroes who swarm in from the islands to look after their
+      daughters, scarcely compensates for the annoying presence of their yellow
+      faces and shaking limbs. No, I think, on the whole, Paphos is my
+      favourite.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I have heard of its magnificent luxury.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Oh! &lsquo;tis lovely! Quite my idea of country life. Not a single tree! When
+      Cyprus is very hot, you run to Paphos for a sea-breeze, and are sure to
+      meet every one whose presence is in the least desirable. All the bores
+      remain behind, as if by instinct.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I remember when we married, we talked of passing the honeymoon at
+      Cythera, but Dia would have her waiting-maid and a bandbox stuffed between
+      us in the chariot, so I got sulky after the first stage, and returned by
+      myself.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;You were quite right. I hate bandboxes: they are always in the way. You
+      would have liked Cythera if you had been in the least in love. High rocks
+      and green knolls, bowery woods, winding walks, and delicious sunsets. I
+      have not been there much of late,&rsquo; continued the Goddess, looking somewhat
+      sad and serious, &lsquo;since&mdash;but I will not talk sentiment to Ixion.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Do you think, then, I am insensible?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Yes.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Perhaps you are right. We mortals grow callous.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;So I have heard. How very odd!&rsquo; So saying, the Goddess glided away and
+      saluted Mars, who at that moment entered the hall. Ixion was presented to
+      the military hero, who looked fierce and bowed stiffly. The King of
+      Thessaly turned upon his heel. Minerva opened her album, and invited him
+      to inscribe a stanza.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Goddess of Wisdom,&rsquo; replied the King, &lsquo;unless you inspire me, the virgin
+      page must remain pure as thyself. I can scarcely sign a decree.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Is it Ixion of Thessaly who says this; one who has seen so much, and, if
+      I am not mistaken, has felt and thought so much? I can easily conceive why
+      such a mind may desire to veil its movements from the common herd, but
+      pray concede to Minerva the gratifying compliment of assuring her that she
+      is the exception for whom this rule has been established.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I seem to listen to the inspired music of an oracle. Give me a pen!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Here is one, plucked from a sacred owl.&rsquo; &lsquo;So! I write. There! Will it
+      do?&rsquo; Minerva read the inscription:&mdash;
+    </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+     <i>I HAVE SEEN THE WORLD, AND MORE THAN THE WORLD:
+     I HAVE STUDIED THE HEART OF MAN,
+     AND NOW I CONSORT WITH IMMORTALS.
+     THE FRUIT OF MY TREE OF   KNOWLEDGE   IS   PLUCKED,
+      AND  IT  IS  THIS,
+     &lsquo;Adventures are to the Adventurous.&rsquo; 
+     Written in the Album of Minerva, by
+     Ixion in Heaven.</i>
+</pre>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;&rsquo;Tis brief,&rsquo; said the Goddess, with a musing air, &lsquo;but full of meaning.
+      You have a daring soul and pregnant mind.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I have dared much: what I may produce we have yet to see.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I must to Jove,&rsquo; said Minerva, &lsquo;to council. We shall meet again.
+      Farewell, Ixion.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Farewell, Glaucopis.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The King of Thessaly stood away from the remaining guests, and leant with
+      folded arms and pensive brow against a wreathed column. Mars listened to
+      Venus with an air of deep devotion. Euterpe played an inspiring
+      accompaniment to their conversation. The Queen of Heaven seemed engrossed
+      in the creation of her paper peacocks.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Ixion advanced and seated himself on a couch near Juno. His manner was
+      divested of that reckless bearing and careless coolness by which it was in
+      general distinguished. He was, perhaps, even a little embarrassed. His
+      ready tongue deserted him. At length he spoke.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Has your Majesty ever heard of the peacock of the Queen of Mesopotamia?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;No,&rsquo; replied Juno, with stately reserve; and then she added with an air
+      of indifferent curiosity, &lsquo;Is it in any way remarkable?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Its breast is of silver, its wings of gold, its eyes of carbuncle, its
+      claws of amethyst.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;And its tail?&rsquo; eagerly inquired Juno.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;That is a secret,&rsquo; replied Ixion. &lsquo;The tail is the most wonderful part of
+      all.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Oh! tell me, pray tell me!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I forget.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;No, no, no; it is impossible!&rsquo; exclaimed the animated Juno. &lsquo;Provoking
+      mortal!&rsquo; continued the Goddess. &lsquo;Let me entreat you; tell me immediately.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;There is a reason which prevents me.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;What can it be? How very odd! What reason can it possibly be? Now tell
+      me; as a particular, a personal favour, I request you, do tell me.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;What! The tail or the reason? The tail is wonderful, but the reason is
+      much more so. I can only tell one. Now choose.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;What provoking things these human beings are! The tail is wonderful, but
+      the reason is much more so. Well then, the reason; no, the tail. Stop,
+      now, as a particular favour, pray tell me both. What can the tail be made
+      of and what can the reason be? I am literally dying of curiosity.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Your Majesty has cut out that peacock wrong,&rsquo; remarked Ixion. &lsquo;It is more
+      like one of Minerva&rsquo;s owls.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Who cares about paper peacocks, when the Queen of Mesopotamia has got
+      such a miracle!&rsquo; exclaimed Juno; and she tore the labours of the morning
+      to pieces, and threw away the fragments with vexation. &lsquo;Now tell me
+      instantly; if you have the slightest regard for me, tell me instantly.
+      What was the tail made of?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;And you do not wish to hear the reason?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;That afterwards. Now! I am all ears.&rsquo; At this moment Ganymede entered,
+      and whispered the Goddess, who rose in evident vexation, and retired to
+      the presence of Jove.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The King of Thessaly quitted the Hall of Music. Moody, yet not
+      uninfluenced by a degree of wild excitement, he wandered forth into the
+      gardens of Olympus. He came to a beautiful green retreat surrounded by
+      enormous cedars, so vast that it seemed they must have been coeval with
+      the creation; so fresh and brilliant, you would have deemed them wet with
+      the dew of their first spring. The turf, softer than down, and exhaling,
+      as you pressed it, an exquisite perfume, invited him to recline himself
+      upon this natural couch. He threw himself upon the aromatic herbage, and
+      leaning on his arm, fell into a deep reverie.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Hours flew away; the sunshiny glades that opened in the distance had
+      softened into shade.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Ixion, how do you do?&rsquo; inquired a voice, wild, sweet, and thrilling as a
+      bird. The King of Thessaly started and looked up with the distracted air
+      of a man roused from a dream, or from complacent meditation over some
+      strange, sweet secret. His cheek was flushed, his dark eyes flashed fire;
+      his brow trembled, his dishevelled hair played in the fitful breeze. The
+      King of Thessaly looked up, and beheld a most beautiful youth.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Apparently, he had attained about the age of puberty. His stature,
+      however, was rather tall for his age, but exquisitely moulded and
+      proportioned. Very fair, his somewhat round cheeks were tinted with a rich
+      but delicate glow, like the rose of twilight, and lighted by dimples that
+      twinkled like stars. His large and deep-blue eyes sparkled with
+      exultation, and an air of ill-suppressed mockery quivered round his
+      pouting lips. His light auburn hair, braided off his white forehead,
+      clustered in massy curls on each side of his face, and fell in sunny
+      torrents down his neck. And from the back of the beautiful youth there
+      fluttered forth two wings, the tremulous plumage of which seemed to have
+      been bathed in a sunset: so various, so radiant, and so novel were its
+      shifting and wondrous tints; purple, and crimson, and gold; streaks of
+      azure, dashes of orange and glossy black; now a single feather, whiter
+      than light, and sparkling like the frost, stars of emerald and carbuncle,
+      and then the prismatic blaze of an enormous brilliant! A quiver hung at
+      the side of the beautiful youth, and he leant upon a bow.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Oh! God, for God thou must be!&rsquo; at length exclaimed Ixion. &lsquo;Do I behold
+      the bright divinity of Love?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I am indeed Cupid,&rsquo; replied the youth; &lsquo;and am curious to know what Ixion
+      is thinking about.&rsquo; &lsquo;Thought is often bolder than speech.&rsquo; &lsquo;Oracular,
+      though a mortal! You need not be afraid to trust me. My aid I am sure you
+      must need. Who ever was found in a reverie on the green turf, under the
+      shade of spreading trees, without requiring the assistance of Cupid? Come!
+      be frank, who is the heroine? Some love-sick nymph deserted on the far
+      earth; or worse, some treacherous mistress, whose frailty is more easily
+      forgotten than her charms? &lsquo;Tis a miserable situation, no doubt. It cannot
+      be your wife?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Assuredly not,&rsquo; replied Ixion, with energy.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Another man&rsquo;s?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;No.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;What! an obdurate maiden?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Ixion shook his head.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;It must be a widow, then,&rsquo; continued Cupid. &lsquo;Who ever heard before of
+      such a piece of work about a widow!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Have pity upon me, dread Cupid!&rsquo; exclaimed the King of Thessaly, rising
+      suddenly from the ground, and falling on his knee before the God. &lsquo;Thou
+      art the universal friend of man, and all nations alike throw their incense
+      on thy altars. Thy divine discrimination has not deceived thee. I <i>am</i>
+      in love; desperately, madly, fatally enamoured. The object of my passion
+      is neither my own wife nor another man&rsquo;s. In spite of all they have said
+      and sworn, I am a moral member of society. She is neither a maid nor a
+      widow. She is&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;What? what?&rsquo; exclaimed the impatient deity.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;A Goddess!&rsquo; replied the King.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Wheugh!&rsquo; whistled Cupid. &lsquo;What! has my mischievous mother been indulging
+      you with an innocent flirtation?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Yes; but it produced no effect upon me.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;You have a stout heart, then. Perhaps you have been reading poetry with
+      Minerva, and are caught in one of her Platonic man-traps.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;She set one, but I broke away.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;You have a stout leg, then. But where are you, where are you? Is it Hebe?
+      It can hardly be Diana, she is so cold. Is it a Muse, or is it one of the
+      Graces?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Ixion again shook his head.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Come, my dear fellow,&rsquo; said Cupid, quite in a confidential tone, &lsquo;you
+      have told enough to make further reserve mere affectation. Ease your heart
+      at once, and if I can assist you, depend upon my exertions.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Beneficent God!&rsquo; exclaimed Ixion, &lsquo;if I ever return to Larissa, the
+      brightest temple in Greece shall hail thee for its inspiring deity. I
+      address thee with all the confiding frankness of a devoted votary. Know,
+      then, the heroine of my reverie was no less a personage than the Queen of
+      Heaven herself!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Juno! by all that is sacred!&rsquo; shouted Cupid. &lsquo;I am here,&rsquo; responded a
+      voice of majestic melody. The stately form of the Queen of Heaven advanced
+      from a neighbouring bower. Ixion stood with his eyes fixed upon the
+      ground, with a throbbing heart and burning cheeks. Juno stood motionless,
+      pale, and astounded. The God of Love burst into excessive laughter.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:80%;">
+      <img alt="ixion_page028 (102K)" src="images/ixion_page028.jpg" width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:80%;">
+      <img alt="ixion_page028_label (12K)" src="images/ixion_page028_label.jpg"
+       width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;A pretty pair!&rsquo; he exclaimed, fluttering between both, and laughing in
+      their faces. &lsquo;Truly a pretty pair! Well! I see I am in your way.
+      Good-bye!&rsquo; And so saying, the God pulled a couple of arrows from his
+      quiver, and with the rapidity of lightning shot one in the respective
+      breasts of the Queen of Heaven and the King of Thessaly.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The amethystine twilight of Olympus died away. The stars blazed with tints
+      of every hue. Ixion and Juno returned to the palace. She leant upon his
+      arm; her eyes were fixed upon the ground; they were in sight of the
+      gorgeous pile, and yet she had not spoken. Ixion, too, was silent, and
+      gazed with abstraction upon the glowing sky.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Suddenly, when within a hundred yards of the portal, Juno stopped, and
+      looking up into the face of Ixion with an irresistible smile, she said, &lsquo;I
+      am sure you cannot now refuse to tell me what the Queen of Mesopotamia&rsquo;s
+      peacock&rsquo;s tail was made of!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;It is impossible now,&rsquo; said Ixion. &lsquo;Know, then, beautiful Goddess, that
+      the tail of the Queen of Mesopotamia&rsquo;s peacock was made of some plumage
+      she had stolen from the wings of Cupid.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;And what was the reason that prevented you from telling me before?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Because, beautiful Juno, I am the most discreet of men, and respect the
+      secret of a lady, however trifling.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I am glad to hear that,&rsquo; replied Juno, and they re-entered the palace.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Mercury met Juno and Ixion in the gallery leading to the grand banqueting
+      hall.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I was looking for you,&rsquo; said the God, shaking his head. &lsquo;Jove is in a
+      sublime rage. Dinner has been ready this hour.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The King of Thessaly and the Queen of Heaven exchanged a glance and
+      entered the saloon. Jove looked up with a brow of thunder, but did not
+      condescend to send forth a single flash of anger. Jove looked up and Jove
+      looked down. All Olympus trembled as the Father of Gods and men resumed
+      his soup. The rest of the guests seemed nervous and reserved, except
+      Cupid, who said immediately to Juno, &lsquo;Your Majesty has been detained?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I fell asleep in a bower reading Apollo&rsquo;s last poem,&rsquo; replied Juno. &lsquo;I am
+      lucky, however, in finding a companion in my negligence. Ixion, where have
+      you been?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Take a glass of nectar, Juno,&rsquo; said Cupid, with eyes twinkling with
+      mischief; &lsquo;and perhaps Ixion will join us.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      This was the most solemn banquet ever celebrated in Olympus. Everyone
+      seemed out of humour or out of spirits. Jupiter spoke only in
+      monosyllables of suppressed rage, that sounded like distant thunder.
+      Apollo whispered to Minerva. Mercury never opened his lips, but
+      occasionally exchanged significant glances with Ganymede. Mars
+      compensated, by his attentions to Venus, for his want of conversation.
+      Cupid employed himself in asking disagreeable questions. At length the
+      Goddesses retired. Mercury exerted himself to amuse Jove, but the
+      Thunderer scarcely deigned to smile at his best stories. Mars picked his
+      teeth, Apollo played with his rings, Ixion was buried in a profound
+      reverie.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      It was a great relief to all when Ganymede summoned them to the presence
+      of their late companions.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I have written a comment upon your inscription,&rsquo; said Minerva to Ixion,
+      &lsquo;and am anxious for your opinion of it.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I am a wretched critic,&rsquo; said the King, breaking away from her. Juno
+      smiled upon him in the distance.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Ixion,&rsquo; said Venus, as he passed by, &lsquo;come and talk to me.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The bold Thessalian blushed, he stammered out an unmeaning excuse, he
+      quitted the astonished but good-natured Goddess, and seated himself by
+      Juno, and as he seated himself his moody brow seemed suddenly illumined
+      with brilliant light.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Is it so?&rsquo; said Venus.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Hem!&rsquo; said Minerva.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Ha, ha!&rsquo; said Cupid.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Jupiter played piquette with Mercury.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Everything goes wrong to-day,&rsquo; said the King of Heaven; &lsquo;cards wretched,
+      and kept waiting for dinner, and by&mdash;&mdash;-a mortal!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Your Majesty must not be surprised,&rsquo; said the good-natured Mercury, with
+      whom Ixion was no favourite. &lsquo;Your Majesty must not be very much surprised
+      at the conduct of this creature. Considering what he is, and where he is,
+      I am only astonished that his head is not more turned than it appears to
+      be. A man, a thing made of mud, and in Heaven! Only think, sire! Is it not
+      enough to inflame the brain of any child of clay? To be sure, keeping your
+      Majesty from dinner is little short of celestial high treason. I hardly
+      expected that, indeed. To order me about, to treat Ganymede as his own
+      lacquey, and, in short, to command the whole household; all this might be
+      expected from such a person in such a situation, but I confess I did think
+      he had some little respect left for your Majesty.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;And he does order you about, eh?&rsquo; inquired Jove. &lsquo;I have the spades.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Oh! &lsquo;tis quite ludicrous,&rsquo; responded the son of Maia. &lsquo;Your Majesty would
+      not expect from me the offices that this upstart daily requires.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Eternal destiny! is&rsquo;t possible? That is my trick. And Ganymede, too?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Oh! quite shocking, I assure you, sire,&rsquo; said the beautiful cupbearer,
+      leaning over the chair of Jove with all the easy insolence of a privileged
+      favourite. &lsquo;Really, sire, if Ixion is to go on in the way he does, either
+      he or I must quit.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Is it possible?&rsquo; exclaimed Jupiter. &lsquo;But I can believe anything of a man
+      who keeps me waiting for dinner. Two and three make five.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;It is Juno that encourages him so,&rsquo; said Ganymede.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Does she encourage him?&rsquo; inquired Jove.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Everybody notices it,&rsquo; protested Ganymede.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;It is indeed a little noticed,&rsquo; observed Mercury.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;What business has such a fellow to speak to Juno?&rsquo; exclaimed Jove. &lsquo;A
+      mere mortal, a mere miserable mortal! You have the point. How I have been
+      deceived in this fellow! Who ever could have supposed that, after all my
+      generosity to him, he would ever have kept me waiting for dinner?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;He was walking with Juno,&rsquo; said Ganymede. &lsquo;It was all a sham about their
+      having met by accident. Cupid saw them.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Ha!&rsquo; said Jupiter, turning pale; &lsquo;you don&rsquo;t say so! Repiqued, as I am a
+      God. That is mine. Where is the Queen?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Talking to Ixion, sire,&rsquo; said Mercury. &lsquo;Oh, I beg your pardon, sire; I
+      did not know you meant the queen of diamonds.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Never mind. I am repiqued, and I have been kept waiting for dinner.
+      Accursed be this day! Is Ixion really talking to Juno? We will not endure
+      this.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Where is Juno?&rsquo; demanded Jupiter.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I am sure I cannot say,&rsquo; said Venus, with a smile.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I am sure I do not know,&rsquo; said Minerva, with a sneer.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Where is Ixion?&rsquo; said Cupid, laughing outright.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Mercury, Ganymede, find the Queen of Heaven instantly,&rsquo; thundered the
+      Father of Gods and men.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The celestial messenger and the heavenly page flew away out of different
+      doors. There was a terrible, an immortal silence. Sublime rage lowered on
+      the brow of Jove like a storm upon the mountain-top. Minerva seated
+      herself at the card-table and played at Patience. Venus and Cupid tittered
+      in the background. Shortly returned the envoys, Mercury looking solemn,
+      Ganymede malignant.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Well?&rsquo; inquired Jove; and all Olympus trembled at the monosyllable.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Mercury shook his head.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Her Majesty has been walking on the terrace with the King of Thessaly,&rsquo; 
+      replied Ganymede.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Where is she now, sir?&rsquo; demanded Jupiter.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Mercury shrugged his shoulders.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Her Majesty is resting herself in the pavilion of Cupid, with the King of
+      Thessaly,&rsquo; replied Ganymede.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Confusion!&rsquo; exclaimed the Father of Gods and men; and he rose and seized
+      a candle from the table, scattering the cards in all directions. Every one
+      present, Minerva and Venus, and Mars and Apollo, and Mercury and Ganymede,
+      and the Muses, and the Graces, and all the winged genii&mdash;each seized
+      a candle; rifling the chandeliers, each followed Jove.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;This way,&rsquo; said Mercury.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;This way,&rsquo; said Ganymede.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;This way, this way!&rsquo; echoed the celestial crowd.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Mischief!&rsquo; cried Cupid; &lsquo;I must save my victims.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      They were all upon the terrace. The Father of Gods and men, though both in
+      a passion and a hurry, moved with dignity. It was, as customary in Heaven,
+      a clear and starry night; but this eve Diana was indisposed, or otherwise
+      engaged, and there was no moonlight. They were in sight of the pavilion.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;What are you?&rsquo; inquired Cupid of one of the genii, who accidentally
+      extinguished his candle.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I am a cloud,&rsquo; answered the winged genius.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;A cloud! Just the thing. Now do me a shrewd turn, and Cupid is ever your
+      debtor. Fly, fly, pretty cloud, and encompass yon pavilion with your form.
+      Away! ask no questions; swift as my word.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I declare there is a fog,&rsquo; said Venus.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;An evening mist in Heaven!&rsquo; said Minerva.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Where is Nox?&rsquo; said Jove. &lsquo;Everything goes wrong. Who ever heard of a
+      mist in Heaven?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;My candle is out,&rsquo; said Apollo.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;And mine, too,&rsquo; said Mars.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;And mine, and mine, and mine,&rsquo; said Mercury and Ganymede, and the Muses
+      and the Graces.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;All the candles are out!&rsquo; said Cupid; &lsquo;a regular fog. I cannot even see
+      the pavilion: it must be hereabouts, though,&rsquo; said the God to himself.
+      &lsquo;So, so; I should be at home in my own pavilion, and am tolerably
+      accustomed to stealing about in the dark. There is a step; and here,
+      surely, is the lock. The door opens, but the cloud enters before me. Juno,
+      Juno,&rsquo; whispered the God of Love, &lsquo;we are all here. Be contented to
+      escape, like many other innocent dames, with your reputation only under a
+      cloud: it will soon disperse; and lo! the heaven is clearing.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;It must have been the heat of our flambeaux,&rsquo; said Venus; &lsquo;for see, the
+      mist is vanished; here is the pavilion.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Ganymede ran forward, and dashed open the door. Ixion was alone.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Seize him!&rsquo; said Jove.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Juno is not here,&rsquo; said Mercury, with an air of blended congratulation
+      and disappointment.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Never mind,&rsquo; said Jove; &lsquo;seize him! He kept me waiting for dinner.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Is this your hospitality, Ægiochus?&rsquo; exclaimed Ixion, in a tone of
+      bullying innocence. &lsquo;I shall defend myself.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Seize him, seize him!&rsquo; exclaimed Jupiter. &lsquo;What! do you all falter? Are
+      you afraid of a mortal?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;And a Thessalian?&rsquo; added Ganymede.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      No one advanced.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Send for Hercules,&rsquo; said Jove.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I will fetch him in an instant,&rsquo; said Ganymede.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I protest,&rsquo; said the King of Thessaly, &lsquo;against this violation of the
+      most sacred rights.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;The marriage tie?&rsquo; said Mercury.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;The dinner-hour?&rsquo; said Jove.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;It is no use talking sentiment to Ixion,&rsquo; said Venus; &lsquo;all mortals are
+      callous.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Adventures are to the adventurous,&rsquo; said Minerva.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Here is Hercules! here is Hercules!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Seize him!&rsquo; said Jove; &lsquo;seize that man.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      In vain the mortal struggled with the irresistible demigod.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Shall I fetch your thunderbolt, Jove?&rsquo; inquired Ganymede.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Anything short of eternal punishment is unworthy of a God,&rsquo; answered
+      Jupiter, with great dignity. &lsquo;Apollo, bring me a wheel of your chariot.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;What shall I do to-morrow morning?&rsquo; inquired the God of Light.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Order an eclipse,&rsquo; replied Jove. &lsquo;Bind the insolent wretch to the wheel;
+      hurl him to Hades; its motion shall be perpetual.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;What am I to bind him with?&rsquo; inquired Hercules.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;The girdle of Venus,&rsquo; replied the Thunderer.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;What is all this?&rsquo; inquired Juno, advancing, pale and agitated.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Come along; you shall see,&rsquo; answered Jupiter. &lsquo;Follow me, follow me.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      They all followed the leader, all the Gods, all the genii; in the midst,
+      the brawny husband of Hebe bearing Ixion aloft, bound to the fatal wheel.
+      They reached the terrace; they descended the sparkling steps of
+      lapis-lazuli. Hercules held his burthen on high, ready, at a nod, to
+      plunge the hapless but presumptuous mortal through space into Hades. The
+      heavenly group surrounded him, and peeped over the starry abyss. It was a
+      fine moral, and demonstrated the usual infelicity that attends unequal
+      connection.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Celestial despot!&rsquo; said Ixion.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      In a moment all sounds were hushed, as they listened to the last words of
+      the unrivalled victim. Juno, in despair, leant upon the respective arms of
+      Venus and Minerva.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Celestial despot!&rsquo; said Ixion, &lsquo;I defy the immortal ingenuity of thy
+      cruelty. My memory must be as eternal as thy torture: that will support
+      me.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br />
+    </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+
+
+
+
+
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+  </body>
+</html>
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Ixion In Heaven, by Benjamin Disraeli
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Ixion In Heaven
+
+Author: Benjamin Disraeli
+
+Release Date: December 3, 2006 [EBook #20009]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IXION IN HEAVEN ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+IXION IN HEAVEN
+
+By Benjamin Disraeli
+
+
+
+
+     _ADVERTISEMENT_
+
+     _'IXION, King of Thessaly, famous for its horses, married
+     Dia, daughter of Deioneus, who, in consequence of his son-
+     in-law's non-fulfilment of his engagements, stole away some
+     of the monarch's steeds. Ixion concealed his resentment
+     under the mask of friendship. He invited his father-in-law
+     to a feast at Larissa, the capital of his kingdom; and when
+     Deioneus arrived according to his appointment, he threw him
+     into a pit which he had previously filled with burning
+     coals. This treachery so irritated the neighbouring princes,
+     that all of them refused to perform the usual ceremony, by
+     which a man was then purified of murder, and Ixion was
+     shunned and despised by all mankind. Jupiter had compassion
+     upon him, carried him to Heaven, and introduced him to the
+     Father of the Gods. Such a favour, which ought to have
+     awakened gratitude in Ixion, only served to inflame his bad
+     passions; he became enamoured of Juno, and attempted to
+     seduce her. Juno was willing to gratify the passion of
+     Ixion, though, according to others,' &c.--Classical
+     Dictionary, art. 'Ixion.'_
+
+
+
+
+IXION IN HEAVEN
+
+
+
+
+PART I.
+
+     _An Errant King_
+
+THE thunder groaned, the wind howled, the rain fell in hissing torrents,
+impenetrable darkness covered the earth. A blue and forky flash darted a
+momentary light over the landscape. A Doric temple rose in the centre of
+a small and verdant plain, surrounded on all sides by green and hanging
+woods.
+
+'Jove is my only friend,' exclaimed a wanderer, as he muffled himself up
+in his mantle; 'and were it not for the porch of his temple, this night,
+methinks, would complete the work of my loving wife and my dutiful
+subjects.'
+
+The thunder died away, the wind sank into silence, the rain ceased, and
+the parting clouds exhibited the glittering crescent of the young moon.
+A sonorous and majestic voice sounded from the skies:--
+
+'Who art thou that hast no other friend than Jove?' 'One whom all
+mankind unite in calling a wretch.' 'Art thou a philosopher?'
+
+'If philosophy be endurance. But for the rest, I was sometime a king,
+and am now a scatterling.' 'How do they call thee? 'Ixion of Thessaly.'
+
+'Ixion of Thessaly! I thought he was a happy man. I heard that he was
+just married.'
+
+'Father of Gods and men! for I deem thee such, Thessaly is not Olympus.
+Conjugal felicity is only the portion of the immortals!'
+
+'Hem! What! was Dia jealous, which is common; or false, which is
+commoner; or both, which is commonest?'
+
+'It may be neither. We quarrelled about nothing. Where there is little
+sympathy, or too much, the splitting of a straw is plot enough for a
+domestic tragedy. I was careless, her friends stigmatised me as callous;
+she cold, her friends styled her magnanimous. Public opinion was all
+on her side, merely because I did not choose that the world should
+interfere between me and my wife. Dia took the world's advice upon every
+point, and the world decided that she always acted rightly. However,
+life is life, either in a palace or a cave. I am glad you ordered it to
+leave off thundering.'
+
+'A cool dog this. And Dia left thee? 'No; I left her.' 'What, craven?'
+
+'Not exactly. The truth is-----'tis a long story.
+
+I was over head and ears in debt.'
+
+'Ah! that accounts for everything. Nothing so harassing as a want of
+money! But what lucky fellows you mortals are with your _post-obits!_
+We Immortals are deprived of this resource. I was obliged to get up a
+rebellion against my father, because he kept me so short, and could not
+die.'
+
+'You could have married for money. I did.' 'I had no opportunity, there
+was so little female society in those days. When I came out, there were
+no heiresses except the Parcae, confirmed old maids; and no very rich
+dowager, except my grandmother, old Terra.'
+
+'Just the thing; the older the better. However, I married Dia, the
+daughter of Deioneus, with a prodigious portion; but after the ceremony
+the old gentleman would not fulfil his part of the contract without
+my giving up my stud. Can you conceive anything more unreasonable? I
+smothered my resentment at the time; for the truth is, my tradesmen all
+renewed my credit on the strength of the match, and so we went on
+very well for a year; but at last they began to smell a rat, and grew
+importunate. I entreated Dia to interfere; but she was a paragon of
+daughters, and always took the side of her father. If she had only been
+dutiful to her husband, she would have been a perfect woman. At last
+I invited Deioneus to the Larissa races, with the intention of
+conciliating him. The unprincipled old man bought the horse that I
+had backed, and by which I intended to have redeemed my fortunes, and
+withdrew it. My book was ruined. I dissembled my rage. I dug a pit in
+our garden, and filled it with burning coals. As my father-in-law and
+myself were taking a stroll after dinner, the worthy Deioneus fell in,
+merely by accident. Dia proclaimed me the murderer of her father, and,
+as a satisfaction to her wounded feelings, earnestly requested her
+subjects to decapitate her husband. She certainly was the best of
+daughters. There was no withstanding public opinion, an infuriated
+rabble, and a magnanimous wife at the same time. They surrounded my
+palace: I cut my way through the greasy-capped multitude, sword in hand,
+and gained a neighbouring Court, where I solicited my brother princes
+to purify me from the supposed murder. If I had only murdered a subject,
+they would have supported me against the people; but Deioneus being a
+crowned head, like themselves, they declared they would not countenance
+so immoral a being as his son-in-law. And so, at length, after much
+wandering, and shunned by all my species, I am here, Jove, in much
+higher society than I ever expected to mingle.'
+
+'Well, thou art a frank dog, and in a sufficiently severe scrape. The
+Gods must have pity on those for whom men have none. It is evident that
+Earth is too hot for thee at present, so I think thou hadst better come
+and stay a few weeks with us in Heaven.' 'Take my thanks for hecatombs,
+great Jove. Thou art, indeed, a God!'
+
+'I hardly know whether our life will suit you. We dine at sunset; for
+Apollo is so much engaged that he cannot join us sooner, and no dinner
+goes off well without him. In the morning you are your own master, and
+must find amusement where you can. Diana will show you some tolerable
+sport. Do you shoot?'
+
+'No arrow surer. Fear not for me, AEgiochus: I am always at home. But
+how am I to get to you?' 'I will send Mercury; he is the best travelling
+companion in the world. What ho! my Eagle!'
+
+The clouds joined, and darkness again fell over the earth.
+
+'So! tread softly. Don't be nervous. Are you sick?'
+
+'A little nausea; 'tis nothing.'
+
+'The novelty of the motion. The best thing is a beefsteak. We will stop
+at Taurus and take one.'
+
+'You have been a great traveller, Mercury?'
+
+'I have seen the world.'
+
+'Ah! a wondrous spectacle. I long to travel.'
+
+'The same thing over and over again. Little novelty and much change. I
+am wearied with exertion, and if I could get a pension would retire.'
+
+'And yet travel brings wisdom.'
+
+'It cures us of care. Seeing much we feel little, and learn how very
+petty are all those great affairs which cost us such anxiety.'
+
+'I feel that already myself. Floating in this blue aether, what the
+devil is my wife to me, and her dirty Earth! My persecuting enemies seem
+so many pismires; and as for my debts, which have occasioned me so many
+brooding moments, honour and infamy, credit and beggary, seem to me
+alike ridiculous.'
+
+'Your mind is opening, Ixion. You will soon be a man of the world. To
+the left, and keep clear of that star.'
+
+'Who lives there?'
+
+'The Fates know, not I. Some low people who are trying to shine into
+notice. 'Tis a parvenu planet, and only sprung into space within this
+century. We do not visit them.'
+
+'Poor devils! I feel hungry.'
+
+'All right. We shall get into Heaven by the first dinner bolt. You
+cannot arrive at a strange house at a better moment. We shall just have
+time to dress. I would not spoil my appetite by luncheon. Jupiter keeps
+a capital cook.'
+
+'I have heard of Nectar and Ambrosia.' 'Poh! nobody touches them.
+They are regular old-fashioned celestial food, and merely put upon the
+side-table. Nothing goes down in Heaven now but infernal cookery. We
+took our chef from Proserpine.'
+
+'Were you ever in Hell?'
+
+'Several times. 'Tis the fashion now among the Olympians to pass the
+winter there.' 'Is this the season in Heaven?' 'Yes; you are lucky.
+Olympus is quite full.' 'It was kind of Jupiter to invite me.' 'Ay! he
+has his good points. And, no doubt, he has taken a liking to you, which
+is all very well. But be upon your guard. He has no heart, and is as
+capricious as he is tyrannical.'
+
+'Gods cannot be more unkind to me than men have been.'
+
+'All those who have suffered think they have seen the worst. A great
+mistake. However, you are now in the high road to preferment, so we will
+not be dull. There are some good fellows enough amongst us. You will
+like old Neptune.' 'Is he there now?'
+
+'Yes, he generally passes his summer with us. There is little stirring
+in the ocean at that season.' 'I am anxious to see Mars.'
+
+'Oh! a brute, more a bully than a hero. Not at all in the best set.
+These mustachioed gentry are by no means the rage at present in Olympus.
+The women are all literary now, and Minerva has quite eclipsed Venus.
+Apollo is our hero. You must read his last work.'
+
+'I hate reading.'
+
+'So do I. I have no time, and seldom do anything in that way but glance
+at a newspaper. Study and action will not combine.'
+
+'I suppose I shall find the Goddesses very proud?'
+
+'You will find them as you find women below, of different dispositions
+with the same object. Venus is a flirt; Minerva a prude, who fancies she
+has a correct taste and a strong mind; and Juno a politician. As for the
+rest, faint heart never won fair lady; take a friendly hint, and do not
+be alarmed.'
+
+'I fear nothing. My mind mounts with my fortunes. We are above the
+clouds. They form beneath us a vast and snowy region, dim and irregular,
+as I have sometimes seen them clustering upon the horizon's ridge at
+sunset, like a raging sea stilled by some sudden supernatural frost
+and frozen into form! How bright the air above us, and how delicate
+its fragrant breath! I scarcely breathe, and yet my pulses beat like
+my first youth. I hardly feel my being. A splendour falls upon your
+presence. You seem, indeed, a God! Am I so glorious? This, this is
+Heaven!'
+
+The travellers landed on a vast flight of sparkling steps of
+lapis-lazuli. Ascending, they entered beautiful gardens; winding
+walks that yielded to the feet, and accelerated your passage by their
+rebounding pressure; fragrant shrubs covered with dazzling flowers, the
+fleeting tints of which changed every moment; groups of tall trees, with
+strange birds of brilliant and variegated plumage, singing and reposing
+in their sheeny foliage, and fountains of perfumes.
+
+Before them rose an illimitable and golden palace, with high spreading
+domes of pearl, and long windows of crystal. Around the huge portal of
+ruby was ranged a company of winged genii, who smiled on Mercury as he
+passed them with his charge.
+
+'The Father of Gods and men is dressing,' said the son of Maia. 'I shall
+attend his toilet and inform him of your arrival. These are your rooms.
+Dinner will be ready in half an hour. I will call for you as I go down.
+You can be formally presented in the evening. At that time, inspired by
+liqueurs and his matchless band of wind instruments, you will agree with
+the world that AEgiochus is the most finished God in existence.'
+
+'Now, Ixion, are you ready?' 'Even so. What says Jove?' 'He smiled, but
+said nothing. He was trying on a new robe. By this time he is seated.
+Hark! the thunder. Come on!'
+
+They entered a cupolaed hall. Seats of ivory and gold were ranged round
+a circular table of cedar, inlaid with the campaigns against the Titans,
+in silver exquisitely worked, a nuptial present of Vulcan. The service
+of gold plate threw all the ideas of the King of Thessaly as to royal
+magnificence into the darkest shade. The enormous plateau represented
+the constellations. Ixion viewed the Father of Gods and men with great
+interest, who, however, did not notice him. He acknowledged the majesty
+of that countenance whose nod shook Olympus. Majestically robust and
+luxuriantly lusty, his tapering waist was evidently immortal, for it
+defied Time, and his splendid auburn curls, parted on his forehead
+with celestial precision, descended over cheeks glowing with the purple
+radiancy of perpetual manhood.
+
+The haughty Juno was seated on his left hand and Ceres on his right. For
+the rest of the company there was Neptune, Latona, Minerva, and Apollo,
+and when Mercury and Ixion had taken their places, one seat was still
+vacant.
+
+'Where is Diana?' inquired Jupiter, with a frown.
+
+'My sister is hunting,' said Apollo.
+
+'She is always too late for dinner,' said Jupiter. 'No habit is less
+Goddess-like.'
+
+'Godlike pursuits cannot be expected to induce Goddess-like manners,'
+said Juno, with a sneer.
+
+'I have no doubt Diana will be here directly,' said Latona, mildly.
+
+Jupiter seemed pacified, and at that instant the absent guest returned.
+
+'Good sport, Di?' inquired Neptune.
+
+'Very fair, uncle. Mamma,' continued the sister of Apollo, addressing
+herself to Juno, whom she ever thus styled when she wished to conciliate
+her, 'I have brought you a new peacock.'
+
+Juno was fond of pets, and was conciliated by the present.
+
+'Bacchus made a great noise about this wine, Mercury,' said Jupiter,'
+but I think with little cause. What think you?'
+
+'It pleases me, but I am fatigued, and then all wine is agreeable.'
+
+'You have had a long journey,' replied the Thunderer. 'Ixion, I am glad
+to see you in Heaven.'
+
+'Your Majesty arrived to-day?' inquired Minerva, to whom the King of
+Thessaly sat next.
+
+'Within this hour.'
+
+'You must leave off talking of Time now,' said Minerva, with a severe
+smile. 'Pray is there anything new in Greece?'
+
+'I have not been at all in society lately.'
+
+'No new edition of Homer? I admire him exceedingly.'
+
+'All about Greece interests me,' said Apollo, who, although handsome,
+was a somewhat melancholy lack-a-daisical looking personage, with his
+shirt collar thrown open, and his long curls theatrically arranged.
+'All about Greece interests me. I always consider Greece my peculiar
+property. My best poems were written at Delphi. I travelled in Greece
+when I was young. I envy mankind.'
+
+'Indeed!' said Ixion.
+
+'Yes: they at least can look forward to a termination of the ennui of
+existence, but for us Celestials there is no prospect. Say what they
+like, immortality is a bore.'
+
+'You eat nothing, Apollo,' said Ceres.
+
+'Nor drink,' said Neptune.
+
+'To eat, to drink, what is it but to live; and what is life but death,
+if death be that which all men deem it, a thing insufferable, and to
+be shunned. I refresh myself now only with soda-water and biscuits.
+Ganymede, bring some.'
+
+Now, although the _cuisine_ of Olympus was considered perfect, the
+forlorn poet had unfortunately fixed upon the only two articles which
+were not comprised in its cellar or larder. In Heaven, there was neither
+soda-water nor biscuits. A great confusion consequently ensued; but at
+length the bard, whose love of fame was only equalled by his horror of
+getting fat, consoled himself with a swan stuffed with truffles, and a
+bottle of strong Tenedos wine.
+
+'What do you think of Homer?' inquired Minerva of Apollo. 'Is he not
+delightful?'
+
+'If you think so.'
+
+'Nay, I am desirous of your opinion.'
+
+'Then you should not have given me yours, for your taste is too fine for
+me to dare to differ with it.'
+
+'I have suspected, for some time, that you are rather a heretic'
+
+'Why, the truth is,' replied Apollo, playing with his rings, 'I do not
+think much of Homer. Homer was not esteemed in his own age, and our
+contemporaries are generally our best judges. The fact is, there are
+very few people who are qualified to decide upon matters of taste. A
+certain set, for certain reasons, resolve to cry up a certain writer,
+and the great mass soon join in. All is cant. And the present admiration
+of Homer is not less so. They say I have borrowed a great deal from him.
+The truth is, I never read Homer since I was a child, and I thought of
+him then what I think of him now, a writer of some wild irregular power,
+totally deficient in taste. Depend upon it, our contemporaries are our
+best judges, and his contemporaries decided that Homer was nothing.
+A great poet cannot be kept down. Look at my case. Marsyas said of my
+first volume that it was pretty good poetry for a God, and in answer I
+wrote a satire, and flayed Marsyas alive. But what is poetry, and what
+is criticism, and what is life? Air. And what is air? Do you know? I
+don't. All is mystery, and all is gloom, and ever and anon from out the
+clouds a star breaks forth, and glitters, and that star is Poetry.'
+
+'Splendid!' exclaimed Minerva.
+
+'I do not exactly understand you,' said Neptune.
+
+'Have you heard from Proserpine, lately?' inquired Jupiter of Ceres.
+
+'Yesterday,' said the domestic mother. 'They talk of soon joining us.
+But Pluto is at present so busy, owing to the amazing quantity of
+wars going on now, that I am almost afraid he will scarcely be able to
+accompany her.'
+
+Juno exchanged a telegraphic nod with Ceres. The Goddesses rose, and
+retired.
+
+'Come, old boy,' said Jupiter to Ixion, instantly throwing off all his
+chivalric majesty, 'I drink your welcome in a magnum of Maraschino.
+Damn your poetry, Apollo, and, Mercury, give us one of your good
+stories.'
+
+'Well! what do you think of him?' asked Juno.
+
+'He appears to have a fine mind,' said Minerva.
+
+'Poh! he has very fine eyes,' said Juno.
+
+'He seems a very nice, quiet young gentleman,' said Ceres.
+
+'I have no doubt he is very amiable,' said Latona.
+
+'He must have felt very strange,' said Diana.
+
+Hercules arrived with his bride Hebe; soon after the Graces dropped in,
+the most delightful personages in the world for a _soiree_, so useful
+and ready for anything. Afterwards came a few of the Muses, Thalia,
+Melpomene, and Terpsichore, famous for a charade or a proverb. Jupiter
+liked to be amused in the evening. Bacchus also came, but finding that
+the Gods had not yet left their wine, retired to pay them a visit.
+
+Ganymede announced coffee in the saloon of Juno. Jupiter was in superb
+good humour. He was amused by his mortal guest. He had condescended
+to tell one of his best stories in his best style, about Leda, not too
+scandalous, but gay.
+
+'Those were bright days,' said Neptune.
+
+'We can remember,' said the Thunderer, with a twinkling eye. 'These
+youths have fallen upon duller times. There are no fine women now.
+Ixion, I drink to the health of your wife.'
+
+'With all my heart, and may we never be nearer than we are at present.'
+
+'Good! i'faith; Apollo, your arm. Now for the ladies. La, la, la, la!
+la, la, la, la!'
+
+The Thunderer entered the saloon of Juno with that bow which no God
+could rival; all rose, and the King of Heaven seated himself between
+Ceres and Latona. The melancholy Apollo stood apart, and was soon
+carried off by Minerva to an assembly at the house of Mnemosyne.
+Mercury chatted with the Graces, and Bacchus with Diana. The three Muses
+favoured the company with singing, and the Queen of Heaven approached
+Ixion.
+
+'Does your Majesty dance?' she haughtily inquired.
+
+'On earth; I have few accomplishments even there, and none in Heaven.'
+
+'You have led a strange life! I have heard of your adventures.'
+
+'A king who has lost his crown may generally gain at least experience.'
+
+'Your courage is firm.'
+
+'I have felt too much to care for much. Yesterday I was a vagabond
+exposed to every pitiless storm, and now I am the guest of Jove. While
+there is life there is hope, and he who laughs at Destiny will gain
+Fortune. I would go through the past again to enjoy the present, and
+feel that, after all, I am my wife's debtor, since, through her conduct,
+I can gaze upon you.'
+
+'No great spectacle. If that be all. I wish you better fortune.'
+
+'I desire no greater.'
+
+'You are moderate.'
+
+'I am perhaps more unreasonable than you imagine.'
+
+'Indeed!'
+
+Their eyes met; the dark orbs of the Thessalian did not quail before the
+flashing vision of the Goddess. Juno grew pale. Juno turned away.
+
+
+
+
+PART II.
+
+     _'Others say it was only a cloud.'_
+
+     _A Mortal Among the Gods._
+
+MERCURY and Ganymede were each lolling on an opposite couch in the
+antechamber of Olympus.
+
+'It is wonderful,' said the son of Maia, yawning. 'It is incredible,'
+rejoined the cupbearer of Jove, stretching his legs.
+
+'A miserable mortal!' exclaimed the God, elevating his eyebrows.
+
+'A vile Thessalian!' said the beautiful Phrygian, shrugging his
+shoulders.
+
+'Not three days back an outcast among his own wretched species!'
+
+'And now commanding everybody in Heaven.' 'He shall not command me,
+though,' said Mercury.
+
+'Will he not?' replied Ganymede. 'Why, what do you think? only last
+night; hark! here he comes.'
+
+The companions jumped up from their couches; a light laugh was heard.
+The cedar portal was flung open, and Ixion lounged in, habited in a
+loose morning robe, and kicking before him one of his slippers. 'Ah!'
+exclaimed the King of Thessaly, 'the very fellows I wanted to see!
+Ganymede, bring me some nectar; and, Mercury, run and tell Jove that I
+shall not dine at home to-day.'
+
+The messenger and the page exchanged looks of indignant consternation.
+
+'Well! what are you waiting for?' continued Ixion, looking round from
+the mirror in which he was arranging his locks. The messenger and the
+page disappeared.
+
+'So! this is Heaven,' exclaimed the husband of Dia, flinging himself
+upon one of the couches; 'and a very pleasant place too. These worthy
+Immortals required their minds to be opened, and I trust I have
+effectually performed the necessary operation. They wanted to keep me
+down with their dull old-fashioned celestial airs, but I fancy I have
+given them change for their talent. To make your way in Heaven you
+must command. These exclusives sink under the audacious invention of
+an aspiring mind. Jove himself is really a fine old fellow, with some
+notions too. I am a prime favourite, and no one is greater authority
+with AEgiochus on all subjects, from the character of the fair sex or
+the pedigree of a courser, down to the cut of a robe or the flavour of a
+dish. Thanks, Ganymede,' continued the Thessalian, as he took the goblet
+from his returning attendant.
+
+'I drink to your _bonnes fortunes_. Splendid! This nectar makes me feel
+quite immortal. By-the-bye, I hear sweet sounds. Who is in the Hall of
+Music?'
+
+'The Goddesses, royal sir, practise a new air of Euterpe, the words by
+Apollo. 'Tis pretty, and will doubtless be very popular, for it is all
+about moonlight and the misery of existence.'
+
+'I warrant it.'
+
+'You have a taste for poetry yourself?' inquired Ganymede.
+
+'Not the least,' replied Ixion.
+
+'Apollo,' continued the heavenly page, 'is a great genius, though
+Marsyas said that he never would be a poet because he was a God, and had
+no heart. But do you think, sir, that a poet does indeed need a heart?'
+
+'I really cannot say. I know my wife always said I had a bad heart
+and worse head; but what she meant, upon my honour I never could
+understand.'
+
+'Minerva will ask you to write in her album.'
+
+'Will she indeed! I am sorry to hear it, for I can scarcely scrawl my
+signature. I should think that Jove himself cared little for all this
+nonsense.'
+
+'Jove loves an epigram. He does not esteem Apollo's works at all. Jove
+is of the classical school, and admires satire, provided there be no
+allusions to Gods and kings.'
+
+'Of course; I quite agree with him. I remember we had a confounded poet
+at Larissa who proved my family lived before the deluge, and asked me
+for a pension. I refused him, and then he wrote an epigram asserting
+that I sprang from the veritable stones thrown by Deucalion and Pyrrha
+at the re-peopling of the earth, and retained all the properties of my
+ancestors.'
+
+'Ha, ha! Hark! there's a thunderbolt! I must run to Jove.'
+
+'And I will look in on the musicians. This way, I think?'
+
+'Up the ruby staircase, turn to your right, down the amethyst gallery.
+Farewell!'
+
+'Good-bye; a lively lad that!'
+
+The King of Thessaly entered the Hall of Music with its golden walls
+and crystal dome. The Queen of Heaven was reclining in an easy chair,
+cutting out peacocks in small sheets of note paper. Minerva was making
+a pencil observation on a manuscript copy of the song: Apollo listened
+with deference to her laudatory criticisms. Another divine dame,
+standing by the side of Euterpe, who was seated by the harp, looked
+up as Ixion entered. The wild liquid glance of her soft but radiant
+countenance denoted the famed Goddess of Beauty.
+
+Juno just acknowledged the entrance of Ixion by a slight and haughty
+inclination of the head, and then resumed her employment. Minerva asked
+him his opinion of her amendment, of which he greatly approved. Apollo
+greeted him with a melancholy smile, and congratulated him on being
+mortal. Venus complimented him on his visit to Olympus, and expressed
+the pleasure that she experienced in making his acquaintance.
+
+'What do you think of Heaven?' inquired Venus, in a soft still voice,
+and with a smile like summer lightning.
+
+'I never found it so enchanting as at this moment,' replied Ixion.
+
+'A little dull? For myself, I pass my time chiefly at Cnidos: you must
+come and visit me there. 'Tis the most charming place in the world. 'Tis
+said, you know, that our onions are like other people's roses. We will
+take care of you, if your wife come.'
+
+'No fear of that. She always remains at home and piques herself on
+her domestic virtues, which means pickling, and quarrelling with her
+husband.'
+
+'Ah! I see you are a droll. Very good indeed. Well, for my part, I like
+a watering-place existence. Cnidos, Paphos, Cythera; you will usually
+find me at one of these places. I like the easy distraction of a career
+without any visible result. At these fascinating spots your gloomy race,
+to whom, by-the-bye, I am exceedingly partial, appear emancipated from
+the wearing fetters of their regular, dull, orderly, methodical, moral,
+political, toiling existence. I pride myself upon being the Goddess of
+watering-places. You really must pay me a visit at Cnidos.'
+
+'Such an invitation requires no repetition. And Cnidos is your favourite
+spot?'
+
+'Why, it was so; but of late it has become so inundated with invalid
+Asiatics and valetudinarian Persians, that the simultaneous influx of
+the handsome heroes who swarm in from the islands to look after their
+daughters, scarcely compensates for the annoying presence of their
+yellow faces and shaking limbs. No, I think, on the whole, Paphos is my
+favourite.'
+
+'I have heard of its magnificent luxury.'
+
+'Oh! 'tis lovely! Quite my idea of country life. Not a single tree! When
+Cyprus is very hot, you run to Paphos for a sea-breeze, and are sure to
+meet every one whose presence is in the least desirable. All the bores
+remain behind, as if by instinct.'
+
+'I remember when we married, we talked of passing the honeymoon at
+Cythera, but Dia would have her waiting-maid and a bandbox stuffed
+between us in the chariot, so I got sulky after the first stage, and
+returned by myself.'
+
+'You were quite right. I hate bandboxes: they are always in the way.
+You would have liked Cythera if you had been in the least in love.
+High rocks and green knolls, bowery woods, winding walks, and delicious
+sunsets. I have not been there much of late,' continued the Goddess,
+looking somewhat sad and serious, 'since--but I will not talk
+sentiment to Ixion.'
+
+'Do you think, then, I am insensible?'
+
+'Yes.'
+
+'Perhaps you are right. We mortals grow callous.'
+
+'So I have heard. How very odd!' So saying, the Goddess glided away and
+saluted Mars, who at that moment entered the hall. Ixion was presented
+to the military hero, who looked fierce and bowed stiffly. The King of
+Thessaly turned upon his heel. Minerva opened her album, and invited him
+to inscribe a stanza.
+
+'Goddess of Wisdom,' replied the King, 'unless you inspire me, the
+virgin page must remain pure as thyself. I can scarcely sign a decree.'
+
+'Is it Ixion of Thessaly who says this; one who has seen so much,
+and, if I am not mistaken, has felt and thought so much? I can easily
+conceive why such a mind may desire to veil its movements from the
+common herd, but pray concede to Minerva the gratifying compliment
+of assuring her that she is the exception for whom this rule has been
+established.'
+
+'I seem to listen to the inspired music of an oracle. Give me a pen!
+
+'Here is one, plucked from a sacred owl.' 'So! I write. There! Will it
+do?' Minerva read the inscription:--
+
+     _I HAVE SEEN THE WORLD, AND MORE THAN THE WORLD:
+     I HAVE STUDIED THE HEART OF MAN,
+     AND NOW I CONSORT WITH IMMORTALS.
+     THE FRUIT OF MY TREE OF   KNOWLEDGE   IS   PLUCKED,
+      AND  IT  IS  THIS,
+     'Adventures are to the Adventurous.'
+     Written in the Album of Minerva, by
+     Ixion in Heaven._
+
+''Tis brief,' said the Goddess, with a musing air, 'but full of meaning.
+You have a daring soul and pregnant mind.'
+
+'I have dared much: what I may produce we have yet to see.'
+
+'I must to Jove,' said Minerva, 'to council. We shall meet again.
+Farewell, Ixion.'
+
+'Farewell, Glaucopis.'
+
+The King of Thessaly stood away from the remaining guests, and leant
+with folded arms and pensive brow against a wreathed column. Mars
+listened to Venus with an air of deep devotion. Euterpe played an
+inspiring accompaniment to their conversation. The Queen of Heaven
+seemed engrossed in the creation of her paper peacocks.
+
+Ixion advanced and seated himself on a couch near Juno. His manner was
+divested of that reckless bearing and careless coolness by which it was
+in general distinguished. He was, perhaps, even a little embarrassed.
+His ready tongue deserted him. At length he spoke.
+
+'Has your Majesty ever heard of the peacock of the Queen of
+Mesopotamia?'
+
+'No,' replied Juno, with stately reserve; and then she added with an air
+of indifferent curiosity, 'Is it in any way remarkable?'
+
+'Its breast is of silver, its wings of gold, its eyes of carbuncle, its
+claws of amethyst.'
+
+'And its tail?' eagerly inquired Juno.
+
+'That is a secret,' replied Ixion. 'The tail is the most wonderful part
+of all.'
+
+'Oh! tell me, pray tell me!'
+
+'I forget.'
+
+'No, no, no; it is impossible!' exclaimed the animated Juno.
+'Provoking mortal!' continued the Goddess. 'Let me entreat you; tell me
+immediately.'
+
+'There is a reason which prevents me.'
+
+'What can it be? How very odd! What reason can it possibly be? Now tell
+me; as a particular, a personal favour, I request you, do tell me.'
+
+'What! The tail or the reason? The tail is wonderful, but the reason is
+much more so. I can only tell one. Now choose.'
+
+'What provoking things these human beings are! The tail is wonderful,
+but the reason is much more so. Well then, the reason; no, the tail.
+Stop, now, as a particular favour, pray tell me both. What can the
+tail be made of and what can the reason be? I am literally dying of
+curiosity.'
+
+'Your Majesty has cut out that peacock wrong,' remarked Ixion. 'It is
+more like one of Minerva's owls.'
+
+'Who cares about paper peacocks, when the Queen of Mesopotamia has got
+such a miracle!' exclaimed Juno; and she tore the labours of the morning
+to pieces, and threw away the fragments with vexation. 'Now tell me
+instantly; if you have the slightest regard for me, tell me instantly.
+What was the tail made of?'
+
+'And you do not wish to hear the reason?'
+
+'That afterwards. Now! I am all ears.' At this moment Ganymede entered,
+and whispered the Goddess, who rose in evident vexation, and retired to
+the presence of Jove.
+
+The King of Thessaly quitted the Hall of Music. Moody, yet not
+uninfluenced by a degree of wild excitement, he wandered forth into the
+gardens of Olympus. He came to a beautiful green retreat surrounded by
+enormous cedars, so vast that it seemed they must have been coeval with
+the creation; so fresh and brilliant, you would have deemed them wet
+with the dew of their first spring. The turf, softer than down, and
+exhaling, as you pressed it, an exquisite perfume, invited him to
+recline himself upon this natural couch. He threw himself upon the
+aromatic herbage, and leaning on his arm, fell into a deep reverie.
+
+Hours flew away; the sunshiny glades that opened in the distance had
+softened into shade.
+
+'Ixion, how do you do?' inquired a voice, wild, sweet, and thrilling as
+a bird. The King of Thessaly started and looked up with the distracted
+air of a man roused from a dream, or from complacent meditation over
+some strange, sweet secret. His cheek was flushed, his dark eyes flashed
+fire; his brow trembled, his dishevelled hair played in the fitful
+breeze. The King of Thessaly looked up, and beheld a most beautiful
+youth.
+
+Apparently, he had attained about the age of puberty. His stature,
+however, was rather tall for his age, but exquisitely moulded and
+proportioned. Very fair, his somewhat round cheeks were tinted with
+a rich but delicate glow, like the rose of twilight, and lighted by
+dimples that twinkled like stars. His large and deep-blue eyes sparkled
+with exultation, and an air of ill-suppressed mockery quivered round
+his pouting lips. His light auburn hair, braided off his white forehead,
+clustered in massy curls on each side of his face, and fell in sunny
+torrents down his neck. And from the back of the beautiful youth there
+fluttered forth two wings, the tremulous plumage of which seemed to have
+been bathed in a sunset: so various, so radiant, and so novel were its
+shifting and wondrous tints; purple, and crimson, and gold; streaks of
+azure, dashes of orange and glossy black; now a single feather,
+whiter than light, and sparkling like the frost, stars of emerald and
+carbuncle, and then the prismatic blaze of an enormous brilliant! A
+quiver hung at the side of the beautiful youth, and he leant upon a bow.
+
+'Oh! God, for God thou must be!' at length exclaimed Ixion. 'Do I behold
+the bright divinity of Love?'
+
+'I am indeed Cupid,' replied the youth; 'and am curious to know what
+Ixion is thinking about.' 'Thought is often bolder than speech.'
+'Oracular, though a mortal! You need not be afraid to trust me. My aid
+I am sure you must need. Who ever was found in a reverie on the
+green turf, under the shade of spreading trees, without requiring the
+assistance of Cupid? Come! be frank, who is the heroine? Some love-sick
+nymph deserted on the far earth; or worse, some treacherous mistress,
+whose frailty is more easily forgotten than her charms? 'Tis a miserable
+situation, no doubt. It cannot be your wife?'
+
+'Assuredly not,' replied Ixion, with energy.
+
+'Another man's?'
+
+'No.'
+
+'What! an obdurate maiden?'
+
+Ixion shook his head.
+
+'It must be a widow, then,' continued Cupid. 'Who ever heard before of
+such a piece of work about a widow!'
+
+'Have pity upon me, dread Cupid!' exclaimed the King of Thessaly, rising
+suddenly from the ground, and falling on his knee before the God.
+'Thou art the universal friend of man, and all nations alike throw their
+incense on thy altars. Thy divine discrimination has not deceived thee.
+I _am_ in love; desperately, madly, fatally enamoured. The object of my
+passion is neither my own wife nor another man's. In spite of all they
+have said and sworn, I am a moral member of society. She is neither a
+maid nor a widow. She is------'
+
+'What? what?' exclaimed the impatient deity.
+
+'A Goddess!' replied the King.
+
+'Wheugh!' whistled Cupid. 'What! has my mischievous mother been
+indulging you with an innocent flirtation?'
+
+'Yes; but it produced no effect upon me.'
+
+'You have a stout heart, then. Perhaps you have been reading poetry with
+Minerva, and are caught in one of her Platonic man-traps.'
+
+'She set one, but I broke away.'
+
+'You have a stout leg, then. But where are you, where are you? Is it
+Hebe? It can hardly be Diana, she is so cold. Is it a Muse, or is it one
+of the Graces?'
+
+Ixion again shook his head.
+
+'Come, my dear fellow,' said Cupid, quite in a confidential tone, 'you
+have told enough to make further reserve mere affectation. Ease your
+heart at once, and if I can assist you, depend upon my exertions.'
+
+'Beneficent God!' exclaimed Ixion, 'if I ever return to Larissa, the
+brightest temple in Greece shall hail thee for its inspiring deity. I
+address thee with all the confiding frankness of a devoted votary. Know,
+then, the heroine of my reverie was no less a personage than the Queen
+of Heaven herself!'
+
+'Juno! by all that is sacred!' shouted Cupid. 'I am here,' responded
+a voice of majestic melody. The stately form of the Queen of Heaven
+advanced from a neighbouring bower. Ixion stood with his eyes fixed
+upon the ground, with a throbbing heart and burning cheeks. Juno stood
+motionless, pale, and astounded. The God of Love burst into excessive
+laughter.
+
+[Illustration: page28]
+
+'A pretty pair!' he exclaimed, fluttering between both, and laughing
+in their faces. 'Truly a pretty pair! Well! I see I am in your way.
+Good-bye!' And so saying, the God pulled a couple of arrows from his
+quiver, and with the rapidity of lightning shot one in the respective
+breasts of the Queen of Heaven and the King of Thessaly.
+
+The amethystine twilight of Olympus died away. The stars blazed with
+tints of every hue. Ixion and Juno returned to the palace. She leant
+upon his arm; her eyes were fixed upon the ground; they were in sight of
+the gorgeous pile, and yet she had not spoken. Ixion, too, was silent,
+and gazed with abstraction upon the glowing sky.
+
+Suddenly, when within a hundred yards of the portal, Juno stopped, and
+looking up into the face of Ixion with an irresistible smile, she
+said, 'I am sure you cannot now refuse to tell me what the Queen of
+Mesopotamia's peacock's tail was made of!'
+
+'It is impossible now,' said Ixion. 'Know, then, beautiful Goddess, that
+the tail of the Queen of Mesopotamia's peacock was made of some plumage
+she had stolen from the wings of Cupid.'
+
+'And what was the reason that prevented you from telling me before?'
+
+'Because, beautiful Juno, I am the most discreet of men, and respect the
+secret of a lady, however trifling.'
+
+'I am glad to hear that,' replied Juno, and they re-entered the palace.
+
+Mercury met Juno and Ixion in the gallery leading to the grand
+banqueting hall.
+
+'I was looking for you,' said the God, shaking his head. 'Jove is in a
+sublime rage. Dinner has been ready this hour.'
+
+The King of Thessaly and the Queen of Heaven exchanged a glance and
+entered the saloon. Jove looked up with a brow of thunder, but did not
+condescend to send forth a single flash of anger. Jove looked up and
+Jove looked down. All Olympus trembled as the Father of Gods and men
+resumed his soup. The rest of the guests seemed nervous and reserved,
+except Cupid, who said immediately to Juno, 'Your Majesty has been
+detained?'
+
+'I fell asleep in a bower reading Apollo's last poem,' replied Juno. 'I
+am lucky, however, in finding a companion in my negligence. Ixion, where
+have you been?'
+
+'Take a glass of nectar, Juno,' said Cupid, with eyes twinkling with
+mischief; 'and perhaps Ixion will join us.'
+
+This was the most solemn banquet ever celebrated in Olympus. Everyone
+seemed out of humour or out of spirits. Jupiter spoke only in
+monosyllables of suppressed rage, that sounded like distant thunder.
+Apollo whispered to Minerva. Mercury never opened his lips, but
+occasionally exchanged significant glances with Ganymede. Mars
+compensated, by his attentions to Venus, for his want of conversation.
+Cupid employed himself in asking disagreeable questions. At length
+the Goddesses retired. Mercury exerted himself to amuse Jove, but the
+Thunderer scarcely deigned to smile at his best stories. Mars picked
+his teeth, Apollo played with his rings, Ixion was buried in a profound
+reverie.
+
+It was a great relief to all when Ganymede summoned them to the presence
+of their late companions.
+
+'I have written a comment upon your inscription,' said Minerva to Ixion,
+'and am anxious for your opinion of it.'
+
+'I am a wretched critic,' said the King, breaking away from her. Juno
+smiled upon him in the distance.
+
+'Ixion,' said Venus, as he passed by, 'come and talk to me.'
+
+The bold Thessalian blushed, he stammered out an unmeaning excuse, he
+quitted the astonished but good-natured Goddess, and seated himself by
+Juno, and as he seated himself his moody brow seemed suddenly illumined
+with brilliant light.
+
+'Is it so?' said Venus.
+
+'Hem!' said Minerva.
+
+'Ha, ha!' said Cupid.
+
+Jupiter played piquette with Mercury.
+
+'Everything goes wrong to-day,' said the King of Heaven; 'cards
+wretched, and kept waiting for dinner, and by-----a mortal!'
+
+'Your Majesty must not be surprised,' said the good-natured Mercury,
+with whom Ixion was no favourite. 'Your Majesty must not be very much
+surprised at the conduct of this creature. Considering what he is, and
+where he is, I am only astonished that his head is not more turned than
+it appears to be. A man, a thing made of mud, and in Heaven! Only think,
+sire! Is it not enough to inflame the brain of any child of clay? To be
+sure, keeping your Majesty from dinner is little short of celestial high
+treason. I hardly expected that, indeed. To order me about, to treat
+Ganymede as his own lacquey, and, in short, to command the whole
+household; all this might be expected from such a person in such a
+situation, but I confess I did think he had some little respect left for
+your Majesty.'
+
+'And he does order you about, eh?' inquired Jove. 'I have the spades.'
+
+'Oh! 'tis quite ludicrous,' responded the son of Maia. 'Your Majesty
+would not expect from me the offices that this upstart daily requires.'
+
+'Eternal destiny! is't possible? That is my trick. And Ganymede, too?'
+
+'Oh! quite shocking, I assure you, sire,' said the beautiful cupbearer,
+leaning over the chair of Jove with all the easy insolence of a
+privileged favourite. 'Really, sire, if Ixion is to go on in the way he
+does, either he or I must quit.'
+
+'Is it possible?' exclaimed Jupiter. 'But I can believe anything of a
+man who keeps me waiting for dinner. Two and three make five.'
+
+'It is Juno that encourages him so,' said Ganymede.
+
+'Does she encourage him?' inquired Jove.
+
+'Everybody notices it,' protested Ganymede.
+
+'It is indeed a little noticed,' observed Mercury.
+
+'What business has such a fellow to speak to Juno?' exclaimed Jove. 'A
+mere mortal, a mere miserable mortal! You have the point. How I have
+been deceived in this fellow! Who ever could have supposed that,
+after all my generosity to him, he would ever have kept me waiting for
+dinner?'
+
+'He was walking with Juno,' said Ganymede. 'It was all a sham about
+their having met by accident. Cupid saw them.'
+
+'Ha!' said Jupiter, turning pale; 'you don't say so! Repiqued, as I am a
+God. That is mine. Where is the Queen?'
+
+'Talking to Ixion, sire,' said Mercury. 'Oh, I beg your pardon, sire; I
+did not know you meant the queen of diamonds.'
+
+'Never mind. I am repiqued, and I have been kept waiting for dinner.
+Accursed be this day! Is Ixion really talking to Juno? We will not
+endure this.'
+
+'Where is Juno?' demanded Jupiter.
+
+'I am sure I cannot say,' said Venus, with a smile.
+
+'I am sure I do not know,' said Minerva, with a sneer.
+
+'Where is Ixion?' said Cupid, laughing outright.
+
+'Mercury, Ganymede, find the Queen of Heaven instantly,' thundered the
+Father of Gods and men.
+
+The celestial messenger and the heavenly page flew away out of different
+doors. There was a terrible, an immortal silence. Sublime rage lowered
+on the brow of Jove like a storm upon the mountain-top. Minerva seated
+herself at the card-table and played at Patience. Venus and Cupid
+tittered in the background. Shortly returned the envoys, Mercury looking
+solemn, Ganymede malignant.
+
+'Well?' inquired Jove; and all Olympus trembled at the monosyllable.
+
+Mercury shook his head.
+
+'Her Majesty has been walking on the terrace with the King of Thessaly,'
+replied Ganymede.
+
+'Where is she now, sir?' demanded Jupiter.
+
+Mercury shrugged his shoulders.
+
+'Her Majesty is resting herself in the pavilion of Cupid, with the King
+of Thessaly,' replied Ganymede.
+
+'Confusion!' exclaimed the Father of Gods and men; and he rose and
+seized a candle from the table, scattering the cards in all directions.
+Every one present, Minerva and Venus, and Mars and Apollo, and Mercury
+and Ganymede, and the Muses, and the Graces, and all the winged
+genii--each seized a candle; rifling the chandeliers, each followed Jove.
+
+'This way,' said Mercury.
+
+'This way,' said Ganymede.
+
+'This way, this way!' echoed the celestial crowd.
+
+'Mischief!' cried Cupid; 'I must save my victims.'
+
+They were all upon the terrace. The Father of Gods and men, though both
+in a passion and a hurry, moved with dignity. It was, as customary in
+Heaven, a clear and starry night; but this eve Diana was indisposed, or
+otherwise engaged, and there was no moonlight. They were in sight of the
+pavilion.
+
+'What are you?' inquired Cupid of one of the genii, who accidentally
+extinguished his candle.
+
+'I am a cloud,' answered the winged genius.
+
+'A cloud! Just the thing. Now do me a shrewd turn, and Cupid is ever
+your debtor. Fly, fly, pretty cloud, and encompass yon pavilion with
+your form. Away! ask no questions; swift as my word.'
+
+'I declare there is a fog,' said Venus.
+
+'An evening mist in Heaven!' said Minerva.
+
+'Where is Nox?' said Jove. 'Everything goes wrong. Who ever heard of a
+mist in Heaven?'
+
+'My candle is out,' said Apollo.
+
+'And mine, too,' said Mars.
+
+'And mine, and mine, and mine,' said Mercury and Ganymede, and the Muses
+and the Graces.
+
+'All the candles are out!' said Cupid; 'a regular fog. I cannot even see
+the pavilion: it must be hereabouts, though,' said the God to himself.
+'So, so; I should be at home in my own pavilion, and am tolerably
+accustomed to stealing about in the dark. There is a step; and here,
+surely, is the lock. The door opens, but the cloud enters before me.
+Juno, Juno,' whispered the God of Love, 'we are all here. Be contented
+to escape, like many other innocent dames, with your reputation only
+under a cloud: it will soon disperse; and lo! the heaven is clearing.'
+
+'It must have been the heat of our flambeaux,' said Venus; 'for see, the
+mist is vanished; here is the pavilion.'
+
+Ganymede ran forward, and dashed open the door. Ixion was alone.
+
+'Seize him!' said Jove.
+
+'Juno is not here,' said Mercury, with an air of blended congratulation
+and disappointment.
+
+'Never mind,' said Jove; 'seize him! He kept me waiting for dinner.'
+
+'Is this your hospitality, AEgiochus?' exclaimed Ixion, in a tone of
+bullying innocence. 'I shall defend myself.'
+
+'Seize him, seize him!' exclaimed Jupiter. 'What! do you all falter? Are
+you afraid of a mortal?'
+
+'And a Thessalian?' added Ganymede.
+
+No one advanced.
+
+'Send for Hercules,' said Jove.
+
+'I will fetch him in an instant,' said Ganymede.
+
+'I protest,' said the King of Thessaly, 'against this violation of the
+most sacred rights.'
+
+'The marriage tie?' said Mercury.
+
+'The dinner-hour?' said Jove.
+
+'It is no use talking sentiment to Ixion,' said Venus; 'all mortals are
+callous.'
+
+'Adventures are to the adventurous,' said Minerva.
+
+'Here is Hercules! here is Hercules!'
+
+'Seize him!' said Jove; 'seize that man.'
+
+In vain the mortal struggled with the irresistible demigod.
+
+'Shall I fetch your thunderbolt, Jove?' inquired Ganymede.
+
+'Anything short of eternal punishment is unworthy of a God,' answered
+Jupiter, with great dignity. 'Apollo, bring me a wheel of your
+chariot.'
+
+'What shall I do to-morrow morning?' inquired the God of Light.
+
+'Order an eclipse,' replied Jove. 'Bind the insolent wretch to the
+wheel; hurl him to Hades; its motion shall be perpetual.'
+
+'What am I to bind him with?' inquired Hercules.
+
+'The girdle of Venus,' replied the Thunderer.
+
+'What is all this?' inquired Juno, advancing, pale and agitated.
+
+'Come along; you shall see,' answered Jupiter. 'Follow me, follow me.'
+
+They all followed the leader, all the Gods, all the genii; in the midst,
+the brawny husband of Hebe bearing Ixion aloft, bound to the fatal
+wheel. They reached the terrace; they descended the sparkling steps of
+lapis-lazuli. Hercules held his burthen on high, ready, at a nod, to
+plunge the hapless but presumptuous mortal through space into Hades. The
+heavenly group surrounded him, and peeped over the starry abyss. It was
+a fine moral, and demonstrated the usual infelicity that attends unequal
+connection.
+
+'Celestial despot!' said Ixion.
+
+In a moment all sounds were hushed, as they listened to the last words
+of the unrivalled victim. Juno, in despair, leant upon the respective
+arms of Venus and Minerva.
+
+'Celestial despot!' said Ixion, 'I defy the immortal ingenuity of thy
+cruelty. My memory must be as eternal as thy torture: that will support
+me.'
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Ixion In Heaven, by Benjamin Disraeli
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+  <head>
+    <title>
+      Ixion in Heaven, by Benjamin Disraeli
+    </title>
+    <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve">
+
+    body { margin:5%; background:#faebd7; text-align:justify}
+    P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; }
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+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Ixion In Heaven, by Benjamin Disraeli
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Ixion In Heaven
+
+Author: Benjamin Disraeli
+
+Release Date: December 3, 2006 [EBook #20009]
+Last Updated: September 7, 2016
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: UTF-8
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IXION IN HEAVEN ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br />
+    </p>
+    <h1>
+      IXION IN HEAVEN
+    </h1>
+    <h2>
+      By Benjamin Disraeli
+    </h2>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br />
+    </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+     <i>ADVERTISEMENT</i>
+
+     <i>&lsquo;IXION, King of Thessaly, famous for its horses, married
+     Dia, daughter of Deioneus, who, in consequence of his son-
+     in-law&rsquo;s non-fulfilment of his engagements, stole away some
+     of the monarch&rsquo;s steeds. Ixion concealed his resentment
+     under the mask of friendship. He invited his father-in-law
+     to a feast at Larissa, the capital of his kingdom; and when
+     Deioneus arrived according to his appointment, he threw him
+     into a pit which he had previously filled with burning
+     coals. This treachery so irritated the neighbouring princes,
+     that all of them refused to perform the usual ceremony, by
+     which a man was then purified of murder, and Ixion was
+     shunned and despised by all mankind. Jupiter had compassion
+     upon him, carried him to Heaven, and introduced him to the
+     Father of the Gods. Such a favour, which ought to have
+     awakened gratitude in Ixion, only served to inflame his bad
+     passions; he became enamoured of Juno, and attempted to
+     seduce her. Juno was willing to gratify the passion of
+     Ixion, though, according to others,&rsquo; &amp;c.&mdash;Classical
+     Dictionary, art. &lsquo;Ixion.&lsquo;</i>
+		 </pre>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br />
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br />
+    </p>
+    <h2>
+      Contents
+    </h2>
+    <table summary="">
+      <tr>
+        <td>
+          <p>
+            <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> <big><b>IXION IN HEAVEN</b></big> </a>
+          </p>
+          <p class="toc">
+            <a href="#link2H_PART1"> PART I. </a>
+          </p>
+          <p class="toc">
+            <a href="#link2H_PART2"> PART II. </a>
+          </p>
+        </td>
+      </tr>
+    </table>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br />
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br />
+    </p>
+    <h2>
+      IXION IN HEAVEN
+    </h2>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2H_PART1" id="link2H_PART1">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      PART I.
+    </h2>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+     <i>An Errant King</i>
+</pre>
+    <p>
+      THE thunder groaned, the wind howled, the rain fell in hissing torrents,
+      impenetrable darkness covered the earth. A blue and forky flash darted a
+      momentary light over the landscape. A Doric temple rose in the centre of a
+      small and verdant plain, surrounded on all sides by green and hanging
+      woods.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Jove is my only friend,&rsquo; exclaimed a wanderer, as he muffled himself up
+      in his mantle; &lsquo;and were it not for the porch of his temple, this night,
+      methinks, would complete the work of my loving wife and my dutiful
+      subjects.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The thunder died away, the wind sank into silence, the rain ceased, and
+      the parting clouds exhibited the glittering crescent of the young moon. A
+      sonorous and majestic voice sounded from the skies:&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Who art thou that hast no other friend than Jove?&rsquo; &lsquo;One whom all mankind
+      unite in calling a wretch.&rsquo; &lsquo;Art thou a philosopher?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;If philosophy be endurance. But for the rest, I was sometime a king, and
+      am now a scatterling.&rsquo; &lsquo;How do they call thee? &lsquo;Ixion of Thessaly.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Ixion of Thessaly! I thought he was a happy man. I heard that he was just
+      married.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Father of Gods and men! for I deem thee such, Thessaly is not Olympus.
+      Conjugal felicity is only the portion of the immortals!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Hem! What! was Dia jealous, which is common; or false, which is commoner;
+      or both, which is commonest?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;It may be neither. We quarrelled about nothing. Where there is little
+      sympathy, or too much, the splitting of a straw is plot enough for a
+      domestic tragedy. I was careless, her friends stigmatised me as callous;
+      she cold, her friends styled her magnanimous. Public opinion was all on
+      her side, merely because I did not choose that the world should interfere
+      between me and my wife. Dia took the world&rsquo;s advice upon every point, and
+      the world decided that she always acted rightly. However, life is life,
+      either in a palace or a cave. I am glad you ordered it to leave off
+      thundering.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;A cool dog this. And Dia left thee? &lsquo;No; I left her.&rsquo; &lsquo;What, craven?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Not exactly. The truth is&mdash;&mdash;-&rsquo;tis a long story.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      I was over head and ears in debt.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Ah! that accounts for everything. Nothing so harassing as a want of
+      money! But what lucky fellows you mortals are with your <i>post-obits!</i>
+      We Immortals are deprived of this resource. I was obliged to get up a
+      rebellion against my father, because he kept me so short, and could not
+      die.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;You could have married for money. I did.&rsquo; &lsquo;I had no opportunity, there
+      was so little female society in those days. When I came out, there were no
+      heiresses except the Parcae, confirmed old maids; and no very rich
+      dowager, except my grandmother, old Terra.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Just the thing; the older the better. However, I married Dia, the
+      daughter of Deioneus, with a prodigious portion; but after the ceremony
+      the old gentleman would not fulfil his part of the contract without my
+      giving up my stud. Can you conceive anything more unreasonable? I
+      smothered my resentment at the time; for the truth is, my tradesmen all
+      renewed my credit on the strength of the match, and so we went on very
+      well for a year; but at last they began to smell a rat, and grew
+      importunate. I entreated Dia to interfere; but she was a paragon of
+      daughters, and always took the side of her father. If she had only been
+      dutiful to her husband, she would have been a perfect woman. At last I
+      invited Deioneus to the Larissa races, with the intention of conciliating
+      him. The unprincipled old man bought the horse that I had backed, and by
+      which I intended to have redeemed my fortunes, and withdrew it. My book
+      was ruined. I dissembled my rage. I dug a pit in our garden, and filled it
+      with burning coals. As my father-in-law and myself were taking a stroll
+      after dinner, the worthy Deioneus fell in, merely by accident. Dia
+      proclaimed me the murderer of her father, and, as a satisfaction to her
+      wounded feelings, earnestly requested her subjects to decapitate her
+      husband. She certainly was the best of daughters. There was no
+      withstanding public opinion, an infuriated rabble, and a magnanimous wife
+      at the same time. They surrounded my palace: I cut my way through the
+      greasy-capped multitude, sword in hand, and gained a neighbouring Court,
+      where I solicited my brother princes to purify me from the supposed
+      murder. If I had only murdered a subject, they would have supported me
+      against the people; but Deioneus being a crowned head, like themselves,
+      they declared they would not countenance so immoral a being as his
+      son-in-law. And so, at length, after much wandering, and shunned by all my
+      species, I am here, Jove, in much higher society than I ever expected to
+      mingle.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Well, thou art a frank dog, and in a sufficiently severe scrape. The Gods
+      must have pity on those for whom men have none. It is evident that Earth
+      is too hot for thee at present, so I think thou hadst better come and stay
+      a few weeks with us in Heaven.&rsquo; &lsquo;Take my thanks for hecatombs, great Jove.
+      Thou art, indeed, a God!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I hardly know whether our life will suit you. We dine at sunset; for
+      Apollo is so much engaged that he cannot join us sooner, and no dinner
+      goes off well without him. In the morning you are your own master, and
+      must find amusement where you can. Diana will show you some tolerable
+      sport. Do you shoot?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;No arrow surer. Fear not for me, Ægiochus: I am always at home. But how
+      am I to get to you?&rsquo; &lsquo;I will send Mercury; he is the best travelling
+      companion in the world. What ho! my Eagle!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The clouds joined, and darkness again fell over the earth.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;So! tread softly. Don&rsquo;t be nervous. Are you sick?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;A little nausea; &lsquo;tis nothing.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;The novelty of the motion. The best thing is a beefsteak. We will stop at
+      Taurus and take one.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;You have been a great traveller, Mercury?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I have seen the world.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Ah! a wondrous spectacle. I long to travel.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;The same thing over and over again. Little novelty and much change. I am
+      wearied with exertion, and if I could get a pension would retire.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;And yet travel brings wisdom.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;It cures us of care. Seeing much we feel little, and learn how very petty
+      are all those great affairs which cost us such anxiety.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I feel that already myself. Floating in this blue aether, what the devil
+      is my wife to me, and her dirty Earth! My persecuting enemies seem so many
+      pismires; and as for my debts, which have occasioned me so many brooding
+      moments, honour and infamy, credit and beggary, seem to me alike
+      ridiculous.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Your mind is opening, Ixion. You will soon be a man of the world. To the
+      left, and keep clear of that star.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Who lives there?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;The Fates know, not I. Some low people who are trying to shine into
+      notice. &lsquo;Tis a parvenu planet, and only sprung into space within this
+      century. We do not visit them.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Poor devils! I feel hungry.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;All right. We shall get into Heaven by the first dinner bolt. You cannot
+      arrive at a strange house at a better moment. We shall just have time to
+      dress. I would not spoil my appetite by luncheon. Jupiter keeps a capital
+      cook.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I have heard of Nectar and Ambrosia.&rsquo; &lsquo;Poh! nobody touches them. They are
+      regular old-fashioned celestial food, and merely put upon the side-table.
+      Nothing goes down in Heaven now but infernal cookery. We took our chef
+      from Proserpine.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Were you ever in Hell?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Several times. &lsquo;Tis the fashion now among the Olympians to pass the
+      winter there.&rsquo; &lsquo;Is this the season in Heaven?&rsquo; &lsquo;Yes; you are lucky.
+      Olympus is quite full.&rsquo; &lsquo;It was kind of Jupiter to invite me.&rsquo; &lsquo;Ay! he has
+      his good points. And, no doubt, he has taken a liking to you, which is all
+      very well. But be upon your guard. He has no heart, and is as capricious
+      as he is tyrannical.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Gods cannot be more unkind to me than men have been.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;All those who have suffered think they have seen the worst. A great
+      mistake. However, you are now in the high road to preferment, so we will
+      not be dull. There are some good fellows enough amongst us. You will like
+      old Neptune.&rsquo; &lsquo;Is he there now?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Yes, he generally passes his summer with us. There is little stirring in
+      the ocean at that season.&rsquo; &lsquo;I am anxious to see Mars.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Oh! a brute, more a bully than a hero. Not at all in the best set. These
+      mustachioed gentry are by no means the rage at present in Olympus. The
+      women are all literary now, and Minerva has quite eclipsed Venus. Apollo
+      is our hero. You must read his last work.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I hate reading.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;So do I. I have no time, and seldom do anything in that way but glance at
+      a newspaper. Study and action will not combine.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I suppose I shall find the Goddesses very proud?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;You will find them as you find women below, of different dispositions
+      with the same object. Venus is a flirt; Minerva a prude, who fancies she
+      has a correct taste and a strong mind; and Juno a politician. As for the
+      rest, faint heart never won fair lady; take a friendly hint, and do not be
+      alarmed.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I fear nothing. My mind mounts with my fortunes. We are above the clouds.
+      They form beneath us a vast and snowy region, dim and irregular, as I have
+      sometimes seen them clustering upon the horizon&rsquo;s ridge at sunset, like a
+      raging sea stilled by some sudden supernatural frost and frozen into form!
+      How bright the air above us, and how delicate its fragrant breath! I
+      scarcely breathe, and yet my pulses beat like my first youth. I hardly
+      feel my being. A splendour falls upon your presence. You seem, indeed, a
+      God! Am I so glorious? This, this is Heaven!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The travellers landed on a vast flight of sparkling steps of lapis-lazuli.
+      Ascending, they entered beautiful gardens; winding walks that yielded to
+      the feet, and accelerated your passage by their rebounding pressure;
+      fragrant shrubs covered with dazzling flowers, the fleeting tints of which
+      changed every moment; groups of tall trees, with strange birds of
+      brilliant and variegated plumage, singing and reposing in their sheeny
+      foliage, and fountains of perfumes.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Before them rose an illimitable and golden palace, with high spreading
+      domes of pearl, and long windows of crystal. Around the huge portal of
+      ruby was ranged a company of winged genii, who smiled on Mercury as he
+      passed them with his charge.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;The Father of Gods and men is dressing,&rsquo; said the son of Maia. &lsquo;I shall
+      attend his toilet and inform him of your arrival. These are your rooms.
+      Dinner will be ready in half an hour. I will call for you as I go down.
+      You can be formally presented in the evening. At that time, inspired by
+      liqueurs and his matchless band of wind instruments, you will agree with
+      the world that Ægiochus is the most finished God in existence.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Now, Ixion, are you ready?&rsquo; &lsquo;Even so. What says Jove?&rsquo; &lsquo;He smiled, but
+      said nothing. He was trying on a new robe. By this time he is seated.
+      Hark! the thunder. Come on!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      They entered a cupolaed hall. Seats of ivory and gold were ranged round a
+      circular table of cedar, inlaid with the campaigns against the Titans, in
+      silver exquisitely worked, a nuptial present of Vulcan. The service of
+      gold plate threw all the ideas of the King of Thessaly as to royal
+      magnificence into the darkest shade. The enormous plateau represented the
+      constellations. Ixion viewed the Father of Gods and men with great
+      interest, who, however, did not notice him. He acknowledged the majesty of
+      that countenance whose nod shook Olympus. Majestically robust and
+      luxuriantly lusty, his tapering waist was evidently immortal, for it
+      defied Time, and his splendid auburn curls, parted on his forehead with
+      celestial precision, descended over cheeks glowing with the purple
+      radiancy of perpetual manhood.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The haughty Juno was seated on his left hand and Ceres on his right. For
+      the rest of the company there was Neptune, Latona, Minerva, and Apollo,
+      and when Mercury and Ixion had taken their places, one seat was still
+      vacant.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Where is Diana?&rsquo; inquired Jupiter, with a frown.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;My sister is hunting,&rsquo; said Apollo.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;She is always too late for dinner,&rsquo; said Jupiter. &lsquo;No habit is less
+      Goddess-like.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Godlike pursuits cannot be expected to induce Goddess-like manners,&rsquo; said
+      Juno, with a sneer.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I have no doubt Diana will be here directly,&rsquo; said Latona, mildly.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Jupiter seemed pacified, and at that instant the absent guest returned.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Good sport, Di?&rsquo; inquired Neptune.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Very fair, uncle. Mamma,&rsquo; continued the sister of Apollo, addressing
+      herself to Juno, whom she ever thus styled when she wished to conciliate
+      her, &lsquo;I have brought you a new peacock.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Juno was fond of pets, and was conciliated by the present.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Bacchus made a great noise about this wine, Mercury,&rsquo; said Jupiter,&rsquo; but
+      I think with little cause. What think you?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;It pleases me, but I am fatigued, and then all wine is agreeable.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;You have had a long journey,&rsquo; replied the Thunderer. &lsquo;Ixion, I am glad to
+      see you in Heaven.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Your Majesty arrived to-day?&rsquo; inquired Minerva, to whom the King of
+      Thessaly sat next.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Within this hour.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;You must leave off talking of Time now,&rsquo; said Minerva, with a severe
+      smile. &lsquo;Pray is there anything new in Greece?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I have not been at all in society lately.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;No new edition of Homer? I admire him exceedingly.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;All about Greece interests me,&rsquo; said Apollo, who, although handsome, was
+      a somewhat melancholy lack-a-daisical looking personage, with his shirt
+      collar thrown open, and his long curls theatrically arranged. &lsquo;All about
+      Greece interests me. I always consider Greece my peculiar property. My
+      best poems were written at Delphi. I travelled in Greece when I was young.
+      I envy mankind.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Indeed!&rsquo; said Ixion.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Yes: they at least can look forward to a termination of the ennui of
+      existence, but for us Celestials there is no prospect. Say what they like,
+      immortality is a bore.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;You eat nothing, Apollo,&rsquo; said Ceres.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Nor drink,&rsquo; said Neptune.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;To eat, to drink, what is it but to live; and what is life but death, if
+      death be that which all men deem it, a thing insufferable, and to be
+      shunned. I refresh myself now only with soda-water and biscuits. Ganymede,
+      bring some.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Now, although the <i>cuisine</i> of Olympus was considered perfect, the
+      forlorn poet had unfortunately fixed upon the only two articles which were
+      not comprised in its cellar or larder. In Heaven, there was neither
+      soda-water nor biscuits. A great confusion consequently ensued; but at
+      length the bard, whose love of fame was only equalled by his horror of
+      getting fat, consoled himself with a swan stuffed with truffles, and a
+      bottle of strong Tenedos wine.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;What do you think of Homer?&rsquo; inquired Minerva of Apollo. &lsquo;Is he not
+      delightful?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;If you think so.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Nay, I am desirous of your opinion.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Then you should not have given me yours, for your taste is too fine for
+      me to dare to differ with it.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I have suspected, for some time, that you are rather a heretic&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Why, the truth is,&rsquo; replied Apollo, playing with his rings, &lsquo;I do not
+      think much of Homer. Homer was not esteemed in his own age, and our
+      contemporaries are generally our best judges. The fact is, there are very
+      few people who are qualified to decide upon matters of taste. A certain
+      set, for certain reasons, resolve to cry up a certain writer, and the
+      great mass soon join in. All is cant. And the present admiration of Homer
+      is not less so. They say I have borrowed a great deal from him. The truth
+      is, I never read Homer since I was a child, and I thought of him then what
+      I think of him now, a writer of some wild irregular power, totally
+      deficient in taste. Depend upon it, our contemporaries are our best
+      judges, and his contemporaries decided that Homer was nothing. A great
+      poet cannot be kept down. Look at my case. Marsyas said of my first volume
+      that it was pretty good poetry for a God, and in answer I wrote a satire,
+      and flayed Marsyas alive. But what is poetry, and what is criticism, and
+      what is life? Air. And what is air? Do you know? I don&rsquo;t. All is mystery,
+      and all is gloom, and ever and anon from out the clouds a star breaks
+      forth, and glitters, and that star is Poetry.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Splendid!&rsquo; exclaimed Minerva.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I do not exactly understand you,&rsquo; said Neptune.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Have you heard from Proserpine, lately?&rsquo; inquired Jupiter of Ceres.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Yesterday,&rsquo; said the domestic mother. &lsquo;They talk of soon joining us. But
+      Pluto is at present so busy, owing to the amazing quantity of wars going
+      on now, that I am almost afraid he will scarcely be able to accompany
+      her.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Juno exchanged a telegraphic nod with Ceres. The Goddesses rose, and
+      retired.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Come, old boy,&rsquo; said Jupiter to Ixion, instantly throwing off all his
+      chivalric majesty, &lsquo;I drink your welcome in a magnum of Maraschino. Damn
+      your poetry, Apollo, and, Mercury, give us one of your good stories.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Well! what do you think of him?&rsquo; asked Juno.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;He appears to have a fine mind,&rsquo; said Minerva.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Poh! he has very fine eyes,&rsquo; said Juno.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;He seems a very nice, quiet young gentleman,&rsquo; said Ceres.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I have no doubt he is very amiable,&rsquo; said Latona.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;He must have felt very strange,&rsquo; said Diana.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Hercules arrived with his bride Hebe; soon after the Graces dropped in,
+      the most delightful personages in the world for a <i>soiree</i>, so useful
+      and ready for anything. Afterwards came a few of the Muses, Thalia,
+      Melpomene, and Terpsichore, famous for a charade or a proverb. Jupiter
+      liked to be amused in the evening. Bacchus also came, but finding that the
+      Gods had not yet left their wine, retired to pay them a visit.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Ganymede announced coffee in the saloon of Juno. Jupiter was in superb
+      good humour. He was amused by his mortal guest. He had condescended to
+      tell one of his best stories in his best style, about Leda, not too
+      scandalous, but gay.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Those were bright days,&rsquo; said Neptune.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;We can remember,&rsquo; said the Thunderer, with a twinkling eye. &lsquo;These youths
+      have fallen upon duller times. There are no fine women now. Ixion, I drink
+      to the health of your wife.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;With all my heart, and may we never be nearer than we are at present.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Good! i&rsquo;faith; Apollo, your arm. Now for the ladies. La, la, la, la! la,
+      la, la, la!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Thunderer entered the saloon of Juno with that bow which no God could
+      rival; all rose, and the King of Heaven seated himself between Ceres and
+      Latona. The melancholy Apollo stood apart, and was soon carried off by
+      Minerva to an assembly at the house of Mnemosyne. Mercury chatted with the
+      Graces, and Bacchus with Diana. The three Muses favoured the company with
+      singing, and the Queen of Heaven approached Ixion.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Does your Majesty dance?&rsquo; she haughtily inquired.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;On earth; I have few accomplishments even there, and none in Heaven.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;You have led a strange life! I have heard of your adventures.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;A king who has lost his crown may generally gain at least experience.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Your courage is firm.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I have felt too much to care for much. Yesterday I was a vagabond exposed
+      to every pitiless storm, and now I am the guest of Jove. While there is
+      life there is hope, and he who laughs at Destiny will gain Fortune. I
+      would go through the past again to enjoy the present, and feel that, after
+      all, I am my wife&rsquo;s debtor, since, through her conduct, I can gaze upon
+      you.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;No great spectacle. If that be all. I wish you better fortune.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I desire no greater.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;You are moderate.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I am perhaps more unreasonable than you imagine.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Indeed!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Their eyes met; the dark orbs of the Thessalian did not quail before the
+      flashing vision of the Goddess. Juno grew pale. Juno turned away.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <a name="link2H_PART2" id="link2H_PART2">
+      <!--  H2 anchor --> </a>
+    </p>
+    <div style="height: 4em;">
+      <br /><br /><br /><br />
+    </div>
+    <h2>
+      PART II.
+    </h2>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+     <i>&lsquo;Others say it was only a cloud.&rsquo;</i>
+
+     <i>A Mortal Among the Gods.</i>
+</pre>
+    <p>
+      MERCURY and Ganymede were each lolling on an opposite couch in the
+      antechamber of Olympus.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;It is wonderful,&rsquo; said the son of Maia, yawning. &lsquo;It is incredible,&rsquo; 
+      rejoined the cupbearer of Jove, stretching his legs.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;A miserable mortal!&rsquo; exclaimed the God, elevating his eyebrows.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;A vile Thessalian!&rsquo; said the beautiful Phrygian, shrugging his shoulders.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Not three days back an outcast among his own wretched species!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;And now commanding everybody in Heaven.&rsquo; &lsquo;He shall not command me,
+      though,&rsquo; said Mercury.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Will he not?&rsquo; replied Ganymede. &lsquo;Why, what do you think? only last night;
+      hark! here he comes.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The companions jumped up from their couches; a light laugh was heard. The
+      cedar portal was flung open, and Ixion lounged in, habited in a loose
+      morning robe, and kicking before him one of his slippers. &lsquo;Ah!&rsquo; exclaimed
+      the King of Thessaly, &lsquo;the very fellows I wanted to see! Ganymede, bring
+      me some nectar; and, Mercury, run and tell Jove that I shall not dine at
+      home to-day.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The messenger and the page exchanged looks of indignant consternation.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Well! what are you waiting for?&rsquo; continued Ixion, looking round from the
+      mirror in which he was arranging his locks. The messenger and the page
+      disappeared.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;So! this is Heaven,&rsquo; exclaimed the husband of Dia, flinging himself upon
+      one of the couches; &lsquo;and a very pleasant place too. These worthy Immortals
+      required their minds to be opened, and I trust I have effectually
+      performed the necessary operation. They wanted to keep me down with their
+      dull old-fashioned celestial airs, but I fancy I have given them change
+      for their talent. To make your way in Heaven you must command. These
+      exclusives sink under the audacious invention of an aspiring mind. Jove
+      himself is really a fine old fellow, with some notions too. I am a prime
+      favourite, and no one is greater authority with Ægiochus on all subjects,
+      from the character of the fair sex or the pedigree of a courser, down to
+      the cut of a robe or the flavour of a dish. Thanks, Ganymede,&rsquo; continued
+      the Thessalian, as he took the goblet from his returning attendant.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I drink to your <i>bonnes fortunes</i>. Splendid! This nectar makes me
+      feel quite immortal. By-the-bye, I hear sweet sounds. Who is in the Hall
+      of Music?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;The Goddesses, royal sir, practise a new air of Euterpe, the words by
+      Apollo. &lsquo;Tis pretty, and will doubtless be very popular, for it is all
+      about moonlight and the misery of existence.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I warrant it.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;You have a taste for poetry yourself?&rsquo; inquired Ganymede.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Not the least,&rsquo; replied Ixion.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Apollo,&rsquo; continued the heavenly page, &lsquo;is a great genius, though Marsyas
+      said that he never would be a poet because he was a God, and had no heart.
+      But do you think, sir, that a poet does indeed need a heart?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I really cannot say. I know my wife always said I had a bad heart and
+      worse head; but what she meant, upon my honour I never could understand.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Minerva will ask you to write in her album.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Will she indeed! I am sorry to hear it, for I can scarcely scrawl my
+      signature. I should think that Jove himself cared little for all this
+      nonsense.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Jove loves an epigram. He does not esteem Apollo&rsquo;s works at all. Jove is
+      of the classical school, and admires satire, provided there be no
+      allusions to Gods and kings.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Of course; I quite agree with him. I remember we had a confounded poet at
+      Larissa who proved my family lived before the deluge, and asked me for a
+      pension. I refused him, and then he wrote an epigram asserting that I
+      sprang from the veritable stones thrown by Deucalion and Pyrrha at the
+      re-peopling of the earth, and retained all the properties of my
+      ancestors.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Ha, ha! Hark! there&rsquo;s a thunderbolt! I must run to Jove.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;And I will look in on the musicians. This way, I think?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Up the ruby staircase, turn to your right, down the amethyst gallery.
+      Farewell!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Good-bye; a lively lad that!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The King of Thessaly entered the Hall of Music with its golden walls and
+      crystal dome. The Queen of Heaven was reclining in an easy chair, cutting
+      out peacocks in small sheets of note paper. Minerva was making a pencil
+      observation on a manuscript copy of the song: Apollo listened with
+      deference to her laudatory criticisms. Another divine dame, standing by
+      the side of Euterpe, who was seated by the harp, looked up as Ixion
+      entered. The wild liquid glance of her soft but radiant countenance
+      denoted the famed Goddess of Beauty.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Juno just acknowledged the entrance of Ixion by a slight and haughty
+      inclination of the head, and then resumed her employment. Minerva asked
+      him his opinion of her amendment, of which he greatly approved. Apollo
+      greeted him with a melancholy smile, and congratulated him on being
+      mortal. Venus complimented him on his visit to Olympus, and expressed the
+      pleasure that she experienced in making his acquaintance.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;What do you think of Heaven?&rsquo; inquired Venus, in a soft still voice, and
+      with a smile like summer lightning.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I never found it so enchanting as at this moment,&rsquo; replied Ixion.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;A little dull? For myself, I pass my time chiefly at Cnidos: you must
+      come and visit me there. &lsquo;Tis the most charming place in the world. &lsquo;Tis
+      said, you know, that our onions are like other people&rsquo;s roses. We will
+      take care of you, if your wife come.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;No fear of that. She always remains at home and piques herself on her
+      domestic virtues, which means pickling, and quarrelling with her husband.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Ah! I see you are a droll. Very good indeed. Well, for my part, I like a
+      watering-place existence. Cnidos, Paphos, Cythera; you will usually find
+      me at one of these places. I like the easy distraction of a career without
+      any visible result. At these fascinating spots your gloomy race, to whom,
+      by-the-bye, I am exceedingly partial, appear emancipated from the wearing
+      fetters of their regular, dull, orderly, methodical, moral, political,
+      toiling existence. I pride myself upon being the Goddess of
+      watering-places. You really must pay me a visit at Cnidos.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Such an invitation requires no repetition. And Cnidos is your favourite
+      spot?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Why, it was so; but of late it has become so inundated with invalid
+      Asiatics and valetudinarian Persians, that the simultaneous influx of the
+      handsome heroes who swarm in from the islands to look after their
+      daughters, scarcely compensates for the annoying presence of their yellow
+      faces and shaking limbs. No, I think, on the whole, Paphos is my
+      favourite.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I have heard of its magnificent luxury.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Oh! &lsquo;tis lovely! Quite my idea of country life. Not a single tree! When
+      Cyprus is very hot, you run to Paphos for a sea-breeze, and are sure to
+      meet every one whose presence is in the least desirable. All the bores
+      remain behind, as if by instinct.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I remember when we married, we talked of passing the honeymoon at
+      Cythera, but Dia would have her waiting-maid and a bandbox stuffed between
+      us in the chariot, so I got sulky after the first stage, and returned by
+      myself.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;You were quite right. I hate bandboxes: they are always in the way. You
+      would have liked Cythera if you had been in the least in love. High rocks
+      and green knolls, bowery woods, winding walks, and delicious sunsets. I
+      have not been there much of late,&rsquo; continued the Goddess, looking somewhat
+      sad and serious, &lsquo;since&mdash;but I will not talk sentiment to Ixion.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Do you think, then, I am insensible?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Yes.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Perhaps you are right. We mortals grow callous.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;So I have heard. How very odd!&rsquo; So saying, the Goddess glided away and
+      saluted Mars, who at that moment entered the hall. Ixion was presented to
+      the military hero, who looked fierce and bowed stiffly. The King of
+      Thessaly turned upon his heel. Minerva opened her album, and invited him
+      to inscribe a stanza.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Goddess of Wisdom,&rsquo; replied the King, &lsquo;unless you inspire me, the virgin
+      page must remain pure as thyself. I can scarcely sign a decree.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Is it Ixion of Thessaly who says this; one who has seen so much, and, if
+      I am not mistaken, has felt and thought so much? I can easily conceive why
+      such a mind may desire to veil its movements from the common herd, but
+      pray concede to Minerva the gratifying compliment of assuring her that she
+      is the exception for whom this rule has been established.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I seem to listen to the inspired music of an oracle. Give me a pen!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Here is one, plucked from a sacred owl.&rsquo; &lsquo;So! I write. There! Will it
+      do?&rsquo; Minerva read the inscription:&mdash;
+    </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+     <i>I HAVE SEEN THE WORLD, AND MORE THAN THE WORLD:
+     I HAVE STUDIED THE HEART OF MAN,
+     AND NOW I CONSORT WITH IMMORTALS.
+     THE FRUIT OF MY TREE OF   KNOWLEDGE   IS   PLUCKED,
+      AND  IT  IS  THIS,
+     &lsquo;Adventures are to the Adventurous.&rsquo; 
+     Written in the Album of Minerva, by
+     Ixion in Heaven.</i>
+</pre>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;&rsquo;Tis brief,&rsquo; said the Goddess, with a musing air, &lsquo;but full of meaning.
+      You have a daring soul and pregnant mind.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I have dared much: what I may produce we have yet to see.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I must to Jove,&rsquo; said Minerva, &lsquo;to council. We shall meet again.
+      Farewell, Ixion.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Farewell, Glaucopis.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The King of Thessaly stood away from the remaining guests, and leant with
+      folded arms and pensive brow against a wreathed column. Mars listened to
+      Venus with an air of deep devotion. Euterpe played an inspiring
+      accompaniment to their conversation. The Queen of Heaven seemed engrossed
+      in the creation of her paper peacocks.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Ixion advanced and seated himself on a couch near Juno. His manner was
+      divested of that reckless bearing and careless coolness by which it was in
+      general distinguished. He was, perhaps, even a little embarrassed. His
+      ready tongue deserted him. At length he spoke.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Has your Majesty ever heard of the peacock of the Queen of Mesopotamia?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;No,&rsquo; replied Juno, with stately reserve; and then she added with an air
+      of indifferent curiosity, &lsquo;Is it in any way remarkable?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Its breast is of silver, its wings of gold, its eyes of carbuncle, its
+      claws of amethyst.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;And its tail?&rsquo; eagerly inquired Juno.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;That is a secret,&rsquo; replied Ixion. &lsquo;The tail is the most wonderful part of
+      all.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Oh! tell me, pray tell me!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I forget.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;No, no, no; it is impossible!&rsquo; exclaimed the animated Juno. &lsquo;Provoking
+      mortal!&rsquo; continued the Goddess. &lsquo;Let me entreat you; tell me immediately.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;There is a reason which prevents me.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;What can it be? How very odd! What reason can it possibly be? Now tell
+      me; as a particular, a personal favour, I request you, do tell me.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;What! The tail or the reason? The tail is wonderful, but the reason is
+      much more so. I can only tell one. Now choose.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;What provoking things these human beings are! The tail is wonderful, but
+      the reason is much more so. Well then, the reason; no, the tail. Stop,
+      now, as a particular favour, pray tell me both. What can the tail be made
+      of and what can the reason be? I am literally dying of curiosity.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Your Majesty has cut out that peacock wrong,&rsquo; remarked Ixion. &lsquo;It is more
+      like one of Minerva&rsquo;s owls.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Who cares about paper peacocks, when the Queen of Mesopotamia has got
+      such a miracle!&rsquo; exclaimed Juno; and she tore the labours of the morning
+      to pieces, and threw away the fragments with vexation. &lsquo;Now tell me
+      instantly; if you have the slightest regard for me, tell me instantly.
+      What was the tail made of?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;And you do not wish to hear the reason?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;That afterwards. Now! I am all ears.&rsquo; At this moment Ganymede entered,
+      and whispered the Goddess, who rose in evident vexation, and retired to
+      the presence of Jove.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The King of Thessaly quitted the Hall of Music. Moody, yet not
+      uninfluenced by a degree of wild excitement, he wandered forth into the
+      gardens of Olympus. He came to a beautiful green retreat surrounded by
+      enormous cedars, so vast that it seemed they must have been coeval with
+      the creation; so fresh and brilliant, you would have deemed them wet with
+      the dew of their first spring. The turf, softer than down, and exhaling,
+      as you pressed it, an exquisite perfume, invited him to recline himself
+      upon this natural couch. He threw himself upon the aromatic herbage, and
+      leaning on his arm, fell into a deep reverie.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Hours flew away; the sunshiny glades that opened in the distance had
+      softened into shade.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Ixion, how do you do?&rsquo; inquired a voice, wild, sweet, and thrilling as a
+      bird. The King of Thessaly started and looked up with the distracted air
+      of a man roused from a dream, or from complacent meditation over some
+      strange, sweet secret. His cheek was flushed, his dark eyes flashed fire;
+      his brow trembled, his dishevelled hair played in the fitful breeze. The
+      King of Thessaly looked up, and beheld a most beautiful youth.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Apparently, he had attained about the age of puberty. His stature,
+      however, was rather tall for his age, but exquisitely moulded and
+      proportioned. Very fair, his somewhat round cheeks were tinted with a rich
+      but delicate glow, like the rose of twilight, and lighted by dimples that
+      twinkled like stars. His large and deep-blue eyes sparkled with
+      exultation, and an air of ill-suppressed mockery quivered round his
+      pouting lips. His light auburn hair, braided off his white forehead,
+      clustered in massy curls on each side of his face, and fell in sunny
+      torrents down his neck. And from the back of the beautiful youth there
+      fluttered forth two wings, the tremulous plumage of which seemed to have
+      been bathed in a sunset: so various, so radiant, and so novel were its
+      shifting and wondrous tints; purple, and crimson, and gold; streaks of
+      azure, dashes of orange and glossy black; now a single feather, whiter
+      than light, and sparkling like the frost, stars of emerald and carbuncle,
+      and then the prismatic blaze of an enormous brilliant! A quiver hung at
+      the side of the beautiful youth, and he leant upon a bow.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Oh! God, for God thou must be!&rsquo; at length exclaimed Ixion. &lsquo;Do I behold
+      the bright divinity of Love?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I am indeed Cupid,&rsquo; replied the youth; &lsquo;and am curious to know what Ixion
+      is thinking about.&rsquo; &lsquo;Thought is often bolder than speech.&rsquo; &lsquo;Oracular,
+      though a mortal! You need not be afraid to trust me. My aid I am sure you
+      must need. Who ever was found in a reverie on the green turf, under the
+      shade of spreading trees, without requiring the assistance of Cupid? Come!
+      be frank, who is the heroine? Some love-sick nymph deserted on the far
+      earth; or worse, some treacherous mistress, whose frailty is more easily
+      forgotten than her charms? &lsquo;Tis a miserable situation, no doubt. It cannot
+      be your wife?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Assuredly not,&rsquo; replied Ixion, with energy.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Another man&rsquo;s?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;No.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;What! an obdurate maiden?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Ixion shook his head.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;It must be a widow, then,&rsquo; continued Cupid. &lsquo;Who ever heard before of
+      such a piece of work about a widow!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Have pity upon me, dread Cupid!&rsquo; exclaimed the King of Thessaly, rising
+      suddenly from the ground, and falling on his knee before the God. &lsquo;Thou
+      art the universal friend of man, and all nations alike throw their incense
+      on thy altars. Thy divine discrimination has not deceived thee. I <i>am</i>
+      in love; desperately, madly, fatally enamoured. The object of my passion
+      is neither my own wife nor another man&rsquo;s. In spite of all they have said
+      and sworn, I am a moral member of society. She is neither a maid nor a
+      widow. She is&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;What? what?&rsquo; exclaimed the impatient deity.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;A Goddess!&rsquo; replied the King.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Wheugh!&rsquo; whistled Cupid. &lsquo;What! has my mischievous mother been indulging
+      you with an innocent flirtation?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Yes; but it produced no effect upon me.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;You have a stout heart, then. Perhaps you have been reading poetry with
+      Minerva, and are caught in one of her Platonic man-traps.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;She set one, but I broke away.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;You have a stout leg, then. But where are you, where are you? Is it Hebe?
+      It can hardly be Diana, she is so cold. Is it a Muse, or is it one of the
+      Graces?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Ixion again shook his head.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Come, my dear fellow,&rsquo; said Cupid, quite in a confidential tone, &lsquo;you
+      have told enough to make further reserve mere affectation. Ease your heart
+      at once, and if I can assist you, depend upon my exertions.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Beneficent God!&rsquo; exclaimed Ixion, &lsquo;if I ever return to Larissa, the
+      brightest temple in Greece shall hail thee for its inspiring deity. I
+      address thee with all the confiding frankness of a devoted votary. Know,
+      then, the heroine of my reverie was no less a personage than the Queen of
+      Heaven herself!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Juno! by all that is sacred!&rsquo; shouted Cupid. &lsquo;I am here,&rsquo; responded a
+      voice of majestic melody. The stately form of the Queen of Heaven advanced
+      from a neighbouring bower. Ixion stood with his eyes fixed upon the
+      ground, with a throbbing heart and burning cheeks. Juno stood motionless,
+      pale, and astounded. The God of Love burst into excessive laughter.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:80%;">
+      <img alt="ixion_page028 (102K)" src="images/ixion_page028.jpg" width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <div class="fig" style="width:80%;">
+      <img alt="ixion_page028_label (12K)" src="images/ixion_page028_label.jpg"
+       width="100%" /><br />
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;A pretty pair!&rsquo; he exclaimed, fluttering between both, and laughing in
+      their faces. &lsquo;Truly a pretty pair! Well! I see I am in your way.
+      Good-bye!&rsquo; And so saying, the God pulled a couple of arrows from his
+      quiver, and with the rapidity of lightning shot one in the respective
+      breasts of the Queen of Heaven and the King of Thessaly.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The amethystine twilight of Olympus died away. The stars blazed with tints
+      of every hue. Ixion and Juno returned to the palace. She leant upon his
+      arm; her eyes were fixed upon the ground; they were in sight of the
+      gorgeous pile, and yet she had not spoken. Ixion, too, was silent, and
+      gazed with abstraction upon the glowing sky.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Suddenly, when within a hundred yards of the portal, Juno stopped, and
+      looking up into the face of Ixion with an irresistible smile, she said, &lsquo;I
+      am sure you cannot now refuse to tell me what the Queen of Mesopotamia&rsquo;s
+      peacock&rsquo;s tail was made of!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;It is impossible now,&rsquo; said Ixion. &lsquo;Know, then, beautiful Goddess, that
+      the tail of the Queen of Mesopotamia&rsquo;s peacock was made of some plumage
+      she had stolen from the wings of Cupid.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;And what was the reason that prevented you from telling me before?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Because, beautiful Juno, I am the most discreet of men, and respect the
+      secret of a lady, however trifling.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I am glad to hear that,&rsquo; replied Juno, and they re-entered the palace.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Mercury met Juno and Ixion in the gallery leading to the grand banqueting
+      hall.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I was looking for you,&rsquo; said the God, shaking his head. &lsquo;Jove is in a
+      sublime rage. Dinner has been ready this hour.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The King of Thessaly and the Queen of Heaven exchanged a glance and
+      entered the saloon. Jove looked up with a brow of thunder, but did not
+      condescend to send forth a single flash of anger. Jove looked up and Jove
+      looked down. All Olympus trembled as the Father of Gods and men resumed
+      his soup. The rest of the guests seemed nervous and reserved, except
+      Cupid, who said immediately to Juno, &lsquo;Your Majesty has been detained?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I fell asleep in a bower reading Apollo&rsquo;s last poem,&rsquo; replied Juno. &lsquo;I am
+      lucky, however, in finding a companion in my negligence. Ixion, where have
+      you been?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Take a glass of nectar, Juno,&rsquo; said Cupid, with eyes twinkling with
+      mischief; &lsquo;and perhaps Ixion will join us.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      This was the most solemn banquet ever celebrated in Olympus. Everyone
+      seemed out of humour or out of spirits. Jupiter spoke only in
+      monosyllables of suppressed rage, that sounded like distant thunder.
+      Apollo whispered to Minerva. Mercury never opened his lips, but
+      occasionally exchanged significant glances with Ganymede. Mars
+      compensated, by his attentions to Venus, for his want of conversation.
+      Cupid employed himself in asking disagreeable questions. At length the
+      Goddesses retired. Mercury exerted himself to amuse Jove, but the
+      Thunderer scarcely deigned to smile at his best stories. Mars picked his
+      teeth, Apollo played with his rings, Ixion was buried in a profound
+      reverie.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      It was a great relief to all when Ganymede summoned them to the presence
+      of their late companions.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I have written a comment upon your inscription,&rsquo; said Minerva to Ixion,
+      &lsquo;and am anxious for your opinion of it.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I am a wretched critic,&rsquo; said the King, breaking away from her. Juno
+      smiled upon him in the distance.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Ixion,&rsquo; said Venus, as he passed by, &lsquo;come and talk to me.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The bold Thessalian blushed, he stammered out an unmeaning excuse, he
+      quitted the astonished but good-natured Goddess, and seated himself by
+      Juno, and as he seated himself his moody brow seemed suddenly illumined
+      with brilliant light.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Is it so?&rsquo; said Venus.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Hem!&rsquo; said Minerva.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Ha, ha!&rsquo; said Cupid.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Jupiter played piquette with Mercury.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Everything goes wrong to-day,&rsquo; said the King of Heaven; &lsquo;cards wretched,
+      and kept waiting for dinner, and by&mdash;&mdash;-a mortal!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Your Majesty must not be surprised,&rsquo; said the good-natured Mercury, with
+      whom Ixion was no favourite. &lsquo;Your Majesty must not be very much surprised
+      at the conduct of this creature. Considering what he is, and where he is,
+      I am only astonished that his head is not more turned than it appears to
+      be. A man, a thing made of mud, and in Heaven! Only think, sire! Is it not
+      enough to inflame the brain of any child of clay? To be sure, keeping your
+      Majesty from dinner is little short of celestial high treason. I hardly
+      expected that, indeed. To order me about, to treat Ganymede as his own
+      lacquey, and, in short, to command the whole household; all this might be
+      expected from such a person in such a situation, but I confess I did think
+      he had some little respect left for your Majesty.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;And he does order you about, eh?&rsquo; inquired Jove. &lsquo;I have the spades.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Oh! &lsquo;tis quite ludicrous,&rsquo; responded the son of Maia. &lsquo;Your Majesty would
+      not expect from me the offices that this upstart daily requires.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Eternal destiny! is&rsquo;t possible? That is my trick. And Ganymede, too?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Oh! quite shocking, I assure you, sire,&rsquo; said the beautiful cupbearer,
+      leaning over the chair of Jove with all the easy insolence of a privileged
+      favourite. &lsquo;Really, sire, if Ixion is to go on in the way he does, either
+      he or I must quit.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Is it possible?&rsquo; exclaimed Jupiter. &lsquo;But I can believe anything of a man
+      who keeps me waiting for dinner. Two and three make five.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;It is Juno that encourages him so,&rsquo; said Ganymede.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Does she encourage him?&rsquo; inquired Jove.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Everybody notices it,&rsquo; protested Ganymede.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;It is indeed a little noticed,&rsquo; observed Mercury.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;What business has such a fellow to speak to Juno?&rsquo; exclaimed Jove. &lsquo;A
+      mere mortal, a mere miserable mortal! You have the point. How I have been
+      deceived in this fellow! Who ever could have supposed that, after all my
+      generosity to him, he would ever have kept me waiting for dinner?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;He was walking with Juno,&rsquo; said Ganymede. &lsquo;It was all a sham about their
+      having met by accident. Cupid saw them.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Ha!&rsquo; said Jupiter, turning pale; &lsquo;you don&rsquo;t say so! Repiqued, as I am a
+      God. That is mine. Where is the Queen?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Talking to Ixion, sire,&rsquo; said Mercury. &lsquo;Oh, I beg your pardon, sire; I
+      did not know you meant the queen of diamonds.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Never mind. I am repiqued, and I have been kept waiting for dinner.
+      Accursed be this day! Is Ixion really talking to Juno? We will not endure
+      this.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Where is Juno?&rsquo; demanded Jupiter.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I am sure I cannot say,&rsquo; said Venus, with a smile.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I am sure I do not know,&rsquo; said Minerva, with a sneer.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Where is Ixion?&rsquo; said Cupid, laughing outright.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Mercury, Ganymede, find the Queen of Heaven instantly,&rsquo; thundered the
+      Father of Gods and men.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The celestial messenger and the heavenly page flew away out of different
+      doors. There was a terrible, an immortal silence. Sublime rage lowered on
+      the brow of Jove like a storm upon the mountain-top. Minerva seated
+      herself at the card-table and played at Patience. Venus and Cupid tittered
+      in the background. Shortly returned the envoys, Mercury looking solemn,
+      Ganymede malignant.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Well?&rsquo; inquired Jove; and all Olympus trembled at the monosyllable.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Mercury shook his head.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Her Majesty has been walking on the terrace with the King of Thessaly,&rsquo; 
+      replied Ganymede.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Where is she now, sir?&rsquo; demanded Jupiter.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Mercury shrugged his shoulders.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Her Majesty is resting herself in the pavilion of Cupid, with the King of
+      Thessaly,&rsquo; replied Ganymede.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Confusion!&rsquo; exclaimed the Father of Gods and men; and he rose and seized
+      a candle from the table, scattering the cards in all directions. Every one
+      present, Minerva and Venus, and Mars and Apollo, and Mercury and Ganymede,
+      and the Muses, and the Graces, and all the winged genii&mdash;each seized
+      a candle; rifling the chandeliers, each followed Jove.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;This way,&rsquo; said Mercury.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;This way,&rsquo; said Ganymede.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;This way, this way!&rsquo; echoed the celestial crowd.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Mischief!&rsquo; cried Cupid; &lsquo;I must save my victims.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      They were all upon the terrace. The Father of Gods and men, though both in
+      a passion and a hurry, moved with dignity. It was, as customary in Heaven,
+      a clear and starry night; but this eve Diana was indisposed, or otherwise
+      engaged, and there was no moonlight. They were in sight of the pavilion.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;What are you?&rsquo; inquired Cupid of one of the genii, who accidentally
+      extinguished his candle.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I am a cloud,&rsquo; answered the winged genius.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;A cloud! Just the thing. Now do me a shrewd turn, and Cupid is ever your
+      debtor. Fly, fly, pretty cloud, and encompass yon pavilion with your form.
+      Away! ask no questions; swift as my word.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I declare there is a fog,&rsquo; said Venus.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;An evening mist in Heaven!&rsquo; said Minerva.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Where is Nox?&rsquo; said Jove. &lsquo;Everything goes wrong. Who ever heard of a
+      mist in Heaven?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;My candle is out,&rsquo; said Apollo.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;And mine, too,&rsquo; said Mars.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;And mine, and mine, and mine,&rsquo; said Mercury and Ganymede, and the Muses
+      and the Graces.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;All the candles are out!&rsquo; said Cupid; &lsquo;a regular fog. I cannot even see
+      the pavilion: it must be hereabouts, though,&rsquo; said the God to himself.
+      &lsquo;So, so; I should be at home in my own pavilion, and am tolerably
+      accustomed to stealing about in the dark. There is a step; and here,
+      surely, is the lock. The door opens, but the cloud enters before me. Juno,
+      Juno,&rsquo; whispered the God of Love, &lsquo;we are all here. Be contented to
+      escape, like many other innocent dames, with your reputation only under a
+      cloud: it will soon disperse; and lo! the heaven is clearing.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;It must have been the heat of our flambeaux,&rsquo; said Venus; &lsquo;for see, the
+      mist is vanished; here is the pavilion.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Ganymede ran forward, and dashed open the door. Ixion was alone.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Seize him!&rsquo; said Jove.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Juno is not here,&rsquo; said Mercury, with an air of blended congratulation
+      and disappointment.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Never mind,&rsquo; said Jove; &lsquo;seize him! He kept me waiting for dinner.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Is this your hospitality, Ægiochus?&rsquo; exclaimed Ixion, in a tone of
+      bullying innocence. &lsquo;I shall defend myself.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Seize him, seize him!&rsquo; exclaimed Jupiter. &lsquo;What! do you all falter? Are
+      you afraid of a mortal?&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;And a Thessalian?&rsquo; added Ganymede.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      No one advanced.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Send for Hercules,&rsquo; said Jove.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I will fetch him in an instant,&rsquo; said Ganymede.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;I protest,&rsquo; said the King of Thessaly, &lsquo;against this violation of the
+      most sacred rights.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;The marriage tie?&rsquo; said Mercury.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;The dinner-hour?&rsquo; said Jove.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;It is no use talking sentiment to Ixion,&rsquo; said Venus; &lsquo;all mortals are
+      callous.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Adventures are to the adventurous,&rsquo; said Minerva.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Here is Hercules! here is Hercules!&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Seize him!&rsquo; said Jove; &lsquo;seize that man.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      In vain the mortal struggled with the irresistible demigod.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Shall I fetch your thunderbolt, Jove?&rsquo; inquired Ganymede.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Anything short of eternal punishment is unworthy of a God,&rsquo; answered
+      Jupiter, with great dignity. &lsquo;Apollo, bring me a wheel of your chariot.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;What shall I do to-morrow morning?&rsquo; inquired the God of Light.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Order an eclipse,&rsquo; replied Jove. &lsquo;Bind the insolent wretch to the wheel;
+      hurl him to Hades; its motion shall be perpetual.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;What am I to bind him with?&rsquo; inquired Hercules.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;The girdle of Venus,&rsquo; replied the Thunderer.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;What is all this?&rsquo; inquired Juno, advancing, pale and agitated.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Come along; you shall see,&rsquo; answered Jupiter. &lsquo;Follow me, follow me.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      They all followed the leader, all the Gods, all the genii; in the midst,
+      the brawny husband of Hebe bearing Ixion aloft, bound to the fatal wheel.
+      They reached the terrace; they descended the sparkling steps of
+      lapis-lazuli. Hercules held his burthen on high, ready, at a nod, to
+      plunge the hapless but presumptuous mortal through space into Hades. The
+      heavenly group surrounded him, and peeped over the starry abyss. It was a
+      fine moral, and demonstrated the usual infelicity that attends unequal
+      connection.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Celestial despot!&rsquo; said Ixion.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      In a moment all sounds were hushed, as they listened to the last words of
+      the unrivalled victim. Juno, in despair, leant upon the respective arms of
+      Venus and Minerva.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      &lsquo;Celestial despot!&rsquo; said Ixion, &lsquo;I defy the immortal ingenuity of thy
+      cruelty. My memory must be as eternal as thy torture: that will support
+      me.&rsquo; 
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br /> <br />
+    </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+
+
+
+
+
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+</pre>
+  </body>
+</html>