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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/20009-0.txt b/20009-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..46b52a3 --- /dev/null +++ b/20009-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1572 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Ixion In Heaven, by Benjamin Disraeli + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Ixion In Heaven + +Author: Benjamin Disraeli + +Release Date: December 3, 2006 [EBook #20009] +Last Updated: September 7, 2016 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IXION IN HEAVEN *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +IXION IN HEAVEN + +By Benjamin Disraeli + + + + + _ADVERTISEMENT_ + + _‘IXION, King of Thessaly, famous for its horses, married + Dia, daughter of Deioneus, who, in consequence of his son- + in-law’s non-fulfilment of his engagements, stole away some + of the monarch’s steeds. Ixion concealed his resentment + under the mask of friendship. He invited his father-in-law + to a feast at Larissa, the capital of his kingdom; and when + Deioneus arrived according to his appointment, he threw him + into a pit which he had previously filled with burning + coals. This treachery so irritated the neighbouring princes, + that all of them refused to perform the usual ceremony, by + which a man was then purified of murder, and Ixion was + shunned and despised by all mankind. Jupiter had compassion + upon him, carried him to Heaven, and introduced him to the + Father of the Gods. Such a favour, which ought to have + awakened gratitude in Ixion, only served to inflame his bad + passions; he became enamoured of Juno, and attempted to + seduce her. Juno was willing to gratify the passion of + Ixion, though, according to others,’ &c.--Classical + Dictionary, art. ‘Ixion.’_ + + + + +IXION IN HEAVEN + + + + +PART I. + + _An Errant King_ + +THE thunder groaned, the wind howled, the rain fell in hissing torrents, +impenetrable darkness covered the earth. A blue and forky flash darted a +momentary light over the landscape. A Doric temple rose in the centre of +a small and verdant plain, surrounded on all sides by green and hanging +woods. + +‘Jove is my only friend,’ exclaimed a wanderer, as he muffled himself up +in his mantle; ‘and were it not for the porch of his temple, this night, +methinks, would complete the work of my loving wife and my dutiful +subjects.’ + +The thunder died away, the wind sank into silence, the rain ceased, and +the parting clouds exhibited the glittering crescent of the young moon. +A sonorous and majestic voice sounded from the skies:-- + +‘Who art thou that hast no other friend than Jove?’ ‘One whom all +mankind unite in calling a wretch.’ ‘Art thou a philosopher?’ + +‘If philosophy be endurance. But for the rest, I was sometime a king, +and am now a scatterling.’ ‘How do they call thee? ‘Ixion of Thessaly.’ + +‘Ixion of Thessaly! I thought he was a happy man. I heard that he was +just married.’ + +‘Father of Gods and men! for I deem thee such, Thessaly is not Olympus. +Conjugal felicity is only the portion of the immortals!’ + +‘Hem! What! was Dia jealous, which is common; or false, which is +commoner; or both, which is commonest?’ + +‘It may be neither. We quarrelled about nothing. Where there is little +sympathy, or too much, the splitting of a straw is plot enough for a +domestic tragedy. I was careless, her friends stigmatised me as callous; +she cold, her friends styled her magnanimous. Public opinion was all +on her side, merely because I did not choose that the world should +interfere between me and my wife. Dia took the world’s advice upon every +point, and the world decided that she always acted rightly. However, +life is life, either in a palace or a cave. I am glad you ordered it to +leave off thundering.’ + +‘A cool dog this. And Dia left thee? ‘No; I left her.’ ‘What, craven?’ + +‘Not exactly. The truth is-----‘tis a long story. + +I was over head and ears in debt.’ + +‘Ah! that accounts for everything. Nothing so harassing as a want of +money! But what lucky fellows you mortals are with your _post-obits!_ +We Immortals are deprived of this resource. I was obliged to get up a +rebellion against my father, because he kept me so short, and could not +die.’ + +‘You could have married for money. I did.’ ‘I had no opportunity, there +was so little female society in those days. When I came out, there were +no heiresses except the Parcae, confirmed old maids; and no very rich +dowager, except my grandmother, old Terra.’ + +‘Just the thing; the older the better. However, I married Dia, the +daughter of Deioneus, with a prodigious portion; but after the ceremony +the old gentleman would not fulfil his part of the contract without +my giving up my stud. Can you conceive anything more unreasonable? I +smothered my resentment at the time; for the truth is, my tradesmen all +renewed my credit on the strength of the match, and so we went on +very well for a year; but at last they began to smell a rat, and grew +importunate. I entreated Dia to interfere; but she was a paragon of +daughters, and always took the side of her father. If she had only been +dutiful to her husband, she would have been a perfect woman. At last +I invited Deioneus to the Larissa races, with the intention of +conciliating him. The unprincipled old man bought the horse that I +had backed, and by which I intended to have redeemed my fortunes, and +withdrew it. My book was ruined. I dissembled my rage. I dug a pit in +our garden, and filled it with burning coals. As my father-in-law and +myself were taking a stroll after dinner, the worthy Deioneus fell in, +merely by accident. Dia proclaimed me the murderer of her father, and, +as a satisfaction to her wounded feelings, earnestly requested her +subjects to decapitate her husband. She certainly was the best of +daughters. There was no withstanding public opinion, an infuriated +rabble, and a magnanimous wife at the same time. They surrounded my +palace: I cut my way through the greasy-capped multitude, sword in hand, +and gained a neighbouring Court, where I solicited my brother princes +to purify me from the supposed murder. If I had only murdered a subject, +they would have supported me against the people; but Deioneus being a +crowned head, like themselves, they declared they would not countenance +so immoral a being as his son-in-law. And so, at length, after much +wandering, and shunned by all my species, I am here, Jove, in much +higher society than I ever expected to mingle.’ + +‘Well, thou art a frank dog, and in a sufficiently severe scrape. The +Gods must have pity on those for whom men have none. It is evident that +Earth is too hot for thee at present, so I think thou hadst better come +and stay a few weeks with us in Heaven.’ ‘Take my thanks for hecatombs, +great Jove. Thou art, indeed, a God!’ + +‘I hardly know whether our life will suit you. We dine at sunset; for +Apollo is so much engaged that he cannot join us sooner, and no dinner +goes off well without him. In the morning you are your own master, and +must find amusement where you can. Diana will show you some tolerable +sport. Do you shoot?’ + +‘No arrow surer. Fear not for me, Ægiochus: I am always at home. But +how am I to get to you?’ ‘I will send Mercury; he is the best travelling +companion in the world. What ho! my Eagle!’ + +The clouds joined, and darkness again fell over the earth. + +‘So! tread softly. Don’t be nervous. Are you sick?’ + +‘A little nausea; ‘tis nothing.’ + +‘The novelty of the motion. The best thing is a beefsteak. We will stop +at Taurus and take one.’ + +‘You have been a great traveller, Mercury?’ + +‘I have seen the world.’ + +‘Ah! a wondrous spectacle. I long to travel.’ + +‘The same thing over and over again. Little novelty and much change. I +am wearied with exertion, and if I could get a pension would retire.’ + +‘And yet travel brings wisdom.’ + +‘It cures us of care. Seeing much we feel little, and learn how very +petty are all those great affairs which cost us such anxiety.’ + +‘I feel that already myself. Floating in this blue aether, what the +devil is my wife to me, and her dirty Earth! My persecuting enemies seem +so many pismires; and as for my debts, which have occasioned me so many +brooding moments, honour and infamy, credit and beggary, seem to me +alike ridiculous.’ + +‘Your mind is opening, Ixion. You will soon be a man of the world. To +the left, and keep clear of that star.’ + +‘Who lives there?’ + +‘The Fates know, not I. Some low people who are trying to shine into +notice. ‘Tis a parvenu planet, and only sprung into space within this +century. We do not visit them.’ + +‘Poor devils! I feel hungry.’ + +‘All right. We shall get into Heaven by the first dinner bolt. You +cannot arrive at a strange house at a better moment. We shall just have +time to dress. I would not spoil my appetite by luncheon. Jupiter keeps +a capital cook.’ + +‘I have heard of Nectar and Ambrosia.’ ‘Poh! nobody touches them. +They are regular old-fashioned celestial food, and merely put upon the +side-table. Nothing goes down in Heaven now but infernal cookery. We +took our chef from Proserpine.’ + +‘Were you ever in Hell?’ + +‘Several times. ‘Tis the fashion now among the Olympians to pass the +winter there.’ ‘Is this the season in Heaven?’ ‘Yes; you are lucky. +Olympus is quite full.’ ‘It was kind of Jupiter to invite me.’ ‘Ay! he +has his good points. And, no doubt, he has taken a liking to you, which +is all very well. But be upon your guard. He has no heart, and is as +capricious as he is tyrannical.’ + +‘Gods cannot be more unkind to me than men have been.’ + +‘All those who have suffered think they have seen the worst. A great +mistake. However, you are now in the high road to preferment, so we will +not be dull. There are some good fellows enough amongst us. You will +like old Neptune.’ ‘Is he there now?’ + +‘Yes, he generally passes his summer with us. There is little stirring +in the ocean at that season.’ ‘I am anxious to see Mars.’ + +‘Oh! a brute, more a bully than a hero. Not at all in the best set. +These mustachioed gentry are by no means the rage at present in Olympus. +The women are all literary now, and Minerva has quite eclipsed Venus. +Apollo is our hero. You must read his last work.’ + +‘I hate reading.’ + +‘So do I. I have no time, and seldom do anything in that way but glance +at a newspaper. Study and action will not combine.’ + +‘I suppose I shall find the Goddesses very proud?’ + +‘You will find them as you find women below, of different dispositions +with the same object. Venus is a flirt; Minerva a prude, who fancies she +has a correct taste and a strong mind; and Juno a politician. As for the +rest, faint heart never won fair lady; take a friendly hint, and do not +be alarmed.’ + +‘I fear nothing. My mind mounts with my fortunes. We are above the +clouds. They form beneath us a vast and snowy region, dim and irregular, +as I have sometimes seen them clustering upon the horizon’s ridge at +sunset, like a raging sea stilled by some sudden supernatural frost +and frozen into form! How bright the air above us, and how delicate +its fragrant breath! I scarcely breathe, and yet my pulses beat like +my first youth. I hardly feel my being. A splendour falls upon your +presence. You seem, indeed, a God! Am I so glorious? This, this is +Heaven!’ + +The travellers landed on a vast flight of sparkling steps of +lapis-lazuli. Ascending, they entered beautiful gardens; winding +walks that yielded to the feet, and accelerated your passage by their +rebounding pressure; fragrant shrubs covered with dazzling flowers, the +fleeting tints of which changed every moment; groups of tall trees, with +strange birds of brilliant and variegated plumage, singing and reposing +in their sheeny foliage, and fountains of perfumes. + +Before them rose an illimitable and golden palace, with high spreading +domes of pearl, and long windows of crystal. Around the huge portal of +ruby was ranged a company of winged genii, who smiled on Mercury as he +passed them with his charge. + +‘The Father of Gods and men is dressing,’ said the son of Maia. ‘I shall +attend his toilet and inform him of your arrival. These are your rooms. +Dinner will be ready in half an hour. I will call for you as I go down. +You can be formally presented in the evening. At that time, inspired by +liqueurs and his matchless band of wind instruments, you will agree with +the world that Ægiochus is the most finished God in existence.’ + +‘Now, Ixion, are you ready?’ ‘Even so. What says Jove?’ ‘He smiled, but +said nothing. He was trying on a new robe. By this time he is seated. +Hark! the thunder. Come on!’ + +They entered a cupolaed hall. Seats of ivory and gold were ranged round +a circular table of cedar, inlaid with the campaigns against the Titans, +in silver exquisitely worked, a nuptial present of Vulcan. The service +of gold plate threw all the ideas of the King of Thessaly as to royal +magnificence into the darkest shade. The enormous plateau represented +the constellations. Ixion viewed the Father of Gods and men with great +interest, who, however, did not notice him. He acknowledged the majesty +of that countenance whose nod shook Olympus. Majestically robust and +luxuriantly lusty, his tapering waist was evidently immortal, for it +defied Time, and his splendid auburn curls, parted on his forehead +with celestial precision, descended over cheeks glowing with the purple +radiancy of perpetual manhood. + +The haughty Juno was seated on his left hand and Ceres on his right. For +the rest of the company there was Neptune, Latona, Minerva, and Apollo, +and when Mercury and Ixion had taken their places, one seat was still +vacant. + +‘Where is Diana?’ inquired Jupiter, with a frown. + +‘My sister is hunting,’ said Apollo. + +‘She is always too late for dinner,’ said Jupiter. ‘No habit is less +Goddess-like.’ + +‘Godlike pursuits cannot be expected to induce Goddess-like manners,’ +said Juno, with a sneer. + +‘I have no doubt Diana will be here directly,’ said Latona, mildly. + +Jupiter seemed pacified, and at that instant the absent guest returned. + +‘Good sport, Di?’ inquired Neptune. + +‘Very fair, uncle. Mamma,’ continued the sister of Apollo, addressing +herself to Juno, whom she ever thus styled when she wished to conciliate +her, ‘I have brought you a new peacock.’ + +Juno was fond of pets, and was conciliated by the present. + +‘Bacchus made a great noise about this wine, Mercury,’ said Jupiter,’ +but I think with little cause. What think you?’ + +‘It pleases me, but I am fatigued, and then all wine is agreeable.’ + +‘You have had a long journey,’ replied the Thunderer. ‘Ixion, I am glad +to see you in Heaven.’ + +‘Your Majesty arrived to-day?’ inquired Minerva, to whom the King of +Thessaly sat next. + +‘Within this hour.’ + +‘You must leave off talking of Time now,’ said Minerva, with a severe +smile. ‘Pray is there anything new in Greece?’ + +‘I have not been at all in society lately.’ + +‘No new edition of Homer? I admire him exceedingly.’ + +‘All about Greece interests me,’ said Apollo, who, although handsome, +was a somewhat melancholy lack-a-daisical looking personage, with his +shirt collar thrown open, and his long curls theatrically arranged. +‘All about Greece interests me. I always consider Greece my peculiar +property. My best poems were written at Delphi. I travelled in Greece +when I was young. I envy mankind.’ + +‘Indeed!’ said Ixion. + +‘Yes: they at least can look forward to a termination of the ennui of +existence, but for us Celestials there is no prospect. Say what they +like, immortality is a bore.’ + +‘You eat nothing, Apollo,’ said Ceres. + +‘Nor drink,’ said Neptune. + +‘To eat, to drink, what is it but to live; and what is life but death, +if death be that which all men deem it, a thing insufferable, and to +be shunned. I refresh myself now only with soda-water and biscuits. +Ganymede, bring some.’ + +Now, although the _cuisine_ of Olympus was considered perfect, the +forlorn poet had unfortunately fixed upon the only two articles which +were not comprised in its cellar or larder. In Heaven, there was neither +soda-water nor biscuits. A great confusion consequently ensued; but at +length the bard, whose love of fame was only equalled by his horror of +getting fat, consoled himself with a swan stuffed with truffles, and a +bottle of strong Tenedos wine. + +‘What do you think of Homer?’ inquired Minerva of Apollo. ‘Is he not +delightful?’ + +‘If you think so.’ + +‘Nay, I am desirous of your opinion.’ + +‘Then you should not have given me yours, for your taste is too fine for +me to dare to differ with it.’ + +‘I have suspected, for some time, that you are rather a heretic’ + +‘Why, the truth is,’ replied Apollo, playing with his rings, ‘I do not +think much of Homer. Homer was not esteemed in his own age, and our +contemporaries are generally our best judges. The fact is, there are +very few people who are qualified to decide upon matters of taste. A +certain set, for certain reasons, resolve to cry up a certain writer, +and the great mass soon join in. All is cant. And the present admiration +of Homer is not less so. They say I have borrowed a great deal from him. +The truth is, I never read Homer since I was a child, and I thought of +him then what I think of him now, a writer of some wild irregular power, +totally deficient in taste. Depend upon it, our contemporaries are our +best judges, and his contemporaries decided that Homer was nothing. +A great poet cannot be kept down. Look at my case. Marsyas said of my +first volume that it was pretty good poetry for a God, and in answer I +wrote a satire, and flayed Marsyas alive. But what is poetry, and what +is criticism, and what is life? Air. And what is air? Do you know? I +don’t. All is mystery, and all is gloom, and ever and anon from out the +clouds a star breaks forth, and glitters, and that star is Poetry.’ + +‘Splendid!’ exclaimed Minerva. + +‘I do not exactly understand you,’ said Neptune. + +‘Have you heard from Proserpine, lately?’ inquired Jupiter of Ceres. + +‘Yesterday,’ said the domestic mother. ‘They talk of soon joining us. +But Pluto is at present so busy, owing to the amazing quantity of +wars going on now, that I am almost afraid he will scarcely be able to +accompany her.’ + +Juno exchanged a telegraphic nod with Ceres. The Goddesses rose, and +retired. + +‘Come, old boy,’ said Jupiter to Ixion, instantly throwing off all his +chivalric majesty, ‘I drink your welcome in a magnum of Maraschino. +Damn your poetry, Apollo, and, Mercury, give us one of your good +stories.’ + +‘Well! what do you think of him?’ asked Juno. + +‘He appears to have a fine mind,’ said Minerva. + +‘Poh! he has very fine eyes,’ said Juno. + +‘He seems a very nice, quiet young gentleman,’ said Ceres. + +‘I have no doubt he is very amiable,’ said Latona. + +‘He must have felt very strange,’ said Diana. + +Hercules arrived with his bride Hebe; soon after the Graces dropped in, +the most delightful personages in the world for a _soiree_, so useful +and ready for anything. Afterwards came a few of the Muses, Thalia, +Melpomene, and Terpsichore, famous for a charade or a proverb. Jupiter +liked to be amused in the evening. Bacchus also came, but finding that +the Gods had not yet left their wine, retired to pay them a visit. + +Ganymede announced coffee in the saloon of Juno. Jupiter was in superb +good humour. He was amused by his mortal guest. He had condescended +to tell one of his best stories in his best style, about Leda, not too +scandalous, but gay. + +‘Those were bright days,’ said Neptune. + +‘We can remember,’ said the Thunderer, with a twinkling eye. ‘These +youths have fallen upon duller times. There are no fine women now. +Ixion, I drink to the health of your wife.’ + +‘With all my heart, and may we never be nearer than we are at present.’ + +‘Good! i’faith; Apollo, your arm. Now for the ladies. La, la, la, la! +la, la, la, la!’ + +The Thunderer entered the saloon of Juno with that bow which no God +could rival; all rose, and the King of Heaven seated himself between +Ceres and Latona. The melancholy Apollo stood apart, and was soon +carried off by Minerva to an assembly at the house of Mnemosyne. +Mercury chatted with the Graces, and Bacchus with Diana. The three Muses +favoured the company with singing, and the Queen of Heaven approached +Ixion. + +‘Does your Majesty dance?’ she haughtily inquired. + +‘On earth; I have few accomplishments even there, and none in Heaven.’ + +‘You have led a strange life! I have heard of your adventures.’ + +‘A king who has lost his crown may generally gain at least experience.’ + +‘Your courage is firm.’ + +‘I have felt too much to care for much. Yesterday I was a vagabond +exposed to every pitiless storm, and now I am the guest of Jove. While +there is life there is hope, and he who laughs at Destiny will gain +Fortune. I would go through the past again to enjoy the present, and +feel that, after all, I am my wife’s debtor, since, through her conduct, +I can gaze upon you.’ + +‘No great spectacle. If that be all. I wish you better fortune.’ + +‘I desire no greater.’ + +‘You are moderate.’ + +‘I am perhaps more unreasonable than you imagine.’ + +‘Indeed!’ + +Their eyes met; the dark orbs of the Thessalian did not quail before the +flashing vision of the Goddess. Juno grew pale. Juno turned away. + + + + +PART II. + + _‘Others say it was only a cloud.’_ + + _A Mortal Among the Gods._ + +MERCURY and Ganymede were each lolling on an opposite couch in the +antechamber of Olympus. + +‘It is wonderful,’ said the son of Maia, yawning. ‘It is incredible,’ +rejoined the cupbearer of Jove, stretching his legs. + +‘A miserable mortal!’ exclaimed the God, elevating his eyebrows. + +‘A vile Thessalian!’ said the beautiful Phrygian, shrugging his +shoulders. + +‘Not three days back an outcast among his own wretched species!’ + +‘And now commanding everybody in Heaven.’ ‘He shall not command me, +though,’ said Mercury. + +‘Will he not?’ replied Ganymede. ‘Why, what do you think? only last +night; hark! here he comes.’ + +The companions jumped up from their couches; a light laugh was heard. +The cedar portal was flung open, and Ixion lounged in, habited in a +loose morning robe, and kicking before him one of his slippers. ‘Ah!’ +exclaimed the King of Thessaly, ‘the very fellows I wanted to see! +Ganymede, bring me some nectar; and, Mercury, run and tell Jove that I +shall not dine at home to-day.’ + +The messenger and the page exchanged looks of indignant consternation. + +‘Well! what are you waiting for?’ continued Ixion, looking round from +the mirror in which he was arranging his locks. The messenger and the +page disappeared. + +‘So! this is Heaven,’ exclaimed the husband of Dia, flinging himself +upon one of the couches; ‘and a very pleasant place too. These worthy +Immortals required their minds to be opened, and I trust I have +effectually performed the necessary operation. They wanted to keep me +down with their dull old-fashioned celestial airs, but I fancy I have +given them change for their talent. To make your way in Heaven you +must command. These exclusives sink under the audacious invention of +an aspiring mind. Jove himself is really a fine old fellow, with some +notions too. I am a prime favourite, and no one is greater authority +with Ægiochus on all subjects, from the character of the fair sex or +the pedigree of a courser, down to the cut of a robe or the flavour of a +dish. Thanks, Ganymede,’ continued the Thessalian, as he took the goblet +from his returning attendant. + +‘I drink to your _bonnes fortunes_. Splendid! This nectar makes me feel +quite immortal. By-the-bye, I hear sweet sounds. Who is in the Hall of +Music?’ + +‘The Goddesses, royal sir, practise a new air of Euterpe, the words by +Apollo. ‘Tis pretty, and will doubtless be very popular, for it is all +about moonlight and the misery of existence.’ + +‘I warrant it.’ + +‘You have a taste for poetry yourself?’ inquired Ganymede. + +‘Not the least,’ replied Ixion. + +‘Apollo,’ continued the heavenly page, ‘is a great genius, though +Marsyas said that he never would be a poet because he was a God, and had +no heart. But do you think, sir, that a poet does indeed need a heart?’ + +‘I really cannot say. I know my wife always said I had a bad heart +and worse head; but what she meant, upon my honour I never could +understand.’ + +‘Minerva will ask you to write in her album.’ + +‘Will she indeed! I am sorry to hear it, for I can scarcely scrawl my +signature. I should think that Jove himself cared little for all this +nonsense.’ + +‘Jove loves an epigram. He does not esteem Apollo’s works at all. Jove +is of the classical school, and admires satire, provided there be no +allusions to Gods and kings.’ + +‘Of course; I quite agree with him. I remember we had a confounded poet +at Larissa who proved my family lived before the deluge, and asked me +for a pension. I refused him, and then he wrote an epigram asserting +that I sprang from the veritable stones thrown by Deucalion and Pyrrha +at the re-peopling of the earth, and retained all the properties of my +ancestors.’ + +‘Ha, ha! Hark! there’s a thunderbolt! I must run to Jove.’ + +‘And I will look in on the musicians. This way, I think?’ + +‘Up the ruby staircase, turn to your right, down the amethyst gallery. +Farewell!’ + +‘Good-bye; a lively lad that!’ + +The King of Thessaly entered the Hall of Music with its golden walls +and crystal dome. The Queen of Heaven was reclining in an easy chair, +cutting out peacocks in small sheets of note paper. Minerva was making +a pencil observation on a manuscript copy of the song: Apollo listened +with deference to her laudatory criticisms. Another divine dame, +standing by the side of Euterpe, who was seated by the harp, looked +up as Ixion entered. The wild liquid glance of her soft but radiant +countenance denoted the famed Goddess of Beauty. + +Juno just acknowledged the entrance of Ixion by a slight and haughty +inclination of the head, and then resumed her employment. Minerva asked +him his opinion of her amendment, of which he greatly approved. Apollo +greeted him with a melancholy smile, and congratulated him on being +mortal. Venus complimented him on his visit to Olympus, and expressed +the pleasure that she experienced in making his acquaintance. + +‘What do you think of Heaven?’ inquired Venus, in a soft still voice, +and with a smile like summer lightning. + +‘I never found it so enchanting as at this moment,’ replied Ixion. + +‘A little dull? For myself, I pass my time chiefly at Cnidos: you must +come and visit me there. ‘Tis the most charming place in the world. ‘Tis +said, you know, that our onions are like other people’s roses. We will +take care of you, if your wife come.’ + +‘No fear of that. She always remains at home and piques herself on +her domestic virtues, which means pickling, and quarrelling with her +husband.’ + +‘Ah! I see you are a droll. Very good indeed. Well, for my part, I like +a watering-place existence. Cnidos, Paphos, Cythera; you will usually +find me at one of these places. I like the easy distraction of a career +without any visible result. At these fascinating spots your gloomy race, +to whom, by-the-bye, I am exceedingly partial, appear emancipated from +the wearing fetters of their regular, dull, orderly, methodical, moral, +political, toiling existence. I pride myself upon being the Goddess of +watering-places. You really must pay me a visit at Cnidos.’ + +‘Such an invitation requires no repetition. And Cnidos is your favourite +spot?’ + +‘Why, it was so; but of late it has become so inundated with invalid +Asiatics and valetudinarian Persians, that the simultaneous influx of +the handsome heroes who swarm in from the islands to look after their +daughters, scarcely compensates for the annoying presence of their +yellow faces and shaking limbs. No, I think, on the whole, Paphos is my +favourite.’ + +‘I have heard of its magnificent luxury.’ + +‘Oh! ‘tis lovely! Quite my idea of country life. Not a single tree! When +Cyprus is very hot, you run to Paphos for a sea-breeze, and are sure to +meet every one whose presence is in the least desirable. All the bores +remain behind, as if by instinct.’ + +‘I remember when we married, we talked of passing the honeymoon at +Cythera, but Dia would have her waiting-maid and a bandbox stuffed +between us in the chariot, so I got sulky after the first stage, and +returned by myself.’ + +‘You were quite right. I hate bandboxes: they are always in the way. +You would have liked Cythera if you had been in the least in love. +High rocks and green knolls, bowery woods, winding walks, and delicious +sunsets. I have not been there much of late,’ continued the Goddess, +looking somewhat sad and serious, ‘since--but I will not talk +sentiment to Ixion.’ + +‘Do you think, then, I am insensible?’ + +‘Yes.’ + +‘Perhaps you are right. We mortals grow callous.’ + +‘So I have heard. How very odd!’ So saying, the Goddess glided away and +saluted Mars, who at that moment entered the hall. Ixion was presented +to the military hero, who looked fierce and bowed stiffly. The King of +Thessaly turned upon his heel. Minerva opened her album, and invited him +to inscribe a stanza. + +‘Goddess of Wisdom,’ replied the King, ‘unless you inspire me, the +virgin page must remain pure as thyself. I can scarcely sign a decree.’ + +‘Is it Ixion of Thessaly who says this; one who has seen so much, +and, if I am not mistaken, has felt and thought so much? I can easily +conceive why such a mind may desire to veil its movements from the +common herd, but pray concede to Minerva the gratifying compliment +of assuring her that she is the exception for whom this rule has been +established.’ + +‘I seem to listen to the inspired music of an oracle. Give me a pen! + +‘Here is one, plucked from a sacred owl.’ ‘So! I write. There! Will it +do?’ Minerva read the inscription:-- + + _I HAVE SEEN THE WORLD, AND MORE THAN THE WORLD: + I HAVE STUDIED THE HEART OF MAN, + AND NOW I CONSORT WITH IMMORTALS. + THE FRUIT OF MY TREE OF KNOWLEDGE IS PLUCKED, + AND IT IS THIS, + ‘Adventures are to the Adventurous.’ + Written in the Album of Minerva, by + Ixion in Heaven._ + +‘’Tis brief,’ said the Goddess, with a musing air, ‘but full of meaning. +You have a daring soul and pregnant mind.’ + +‘I have dared much: what I may produce we have yet to see.’ + +‘I must to Jove,’ said Minerva, ‘to council. We shall meet again. +Farewell, Ixion.’ + +‘Farewell, Glaucopis.’ + +The King of Thessaly stood away from the remaining guests, and leant +with folded arms and pensive brow against a wreathed column. Mars +listened to Venus with an air of deep devotion. Euterpe played an +inspiring accompaniment to their conversation. The Queen of Heaven +seemed engrossed in the creation of her paper peacocks. + +Ixion advanced and seated himself on a couch near Juno. His manner was +divested of that reckless bearing and careless coolness by which it was +in general distinguished. He was, perhaps, even a little embarrassed. +His ready tongue deserted him. At length he spoke. + +‘Has your Majesty ever heard of the peacock of the Queen of +Mesopotamia?’ + +‘No,’ replied Juno, with stately reserve; and then she added with an air +of indifferent curiosity, ‘Is it in any way remarkable?’ + +‘Its breast is of silver, its wings of gold, its eyes of carbuncle, its +claws of amethyst.’ + +‘And its tail?’ eagerly inquired Juno. + +‘That is a secret,’ replied Ixion. ‘The tail is the most wonderful part +of all.’ + +‘Oh! tell me, pray tell me!’ + +‘I forget.’ + +‘No, no, no; it is impossible!’ exclaimed the animated Juno. +‘Provoking mortal!’ continued the Goddess. ‘Let me entreat you; tell me +immediately.’ + +‘There is a reason which prevents me.’ + +‘What can it be? How very odd! What reason can it possibly be? Now tell +me; as a particular, a personal favour, I request you, do tell me.’ + +‘What! The tail or the reason? The tail is wonderful, but the reason is +much more so. I can only tell one. Now choose.’ + +‘What provoking things these human beings are! The tail is wonderful, +but the reason is much more so. Well then, the reason; no, the tail. +Stop, now, as a particular favour, pray tell me both. What can the +tail be made of and what can the reason be? I am literally dying of +curiosity.’ + +‘Your Majesty has cut out that peacock wrong,’ remarked Ixion. ‘It is +more like one of Minerva’s owls.’ + +‘Who cares about paper peacocks, when the Queen of Mesopotamia has got +such a miracle!’ exclaimed Juno; and she tore the labours of the morning +to pieces, and threw away the fragments with vexation. ‘Now tell me +instantly; if you have the slightest regard for me, tell me instantly. +What was the tail made of?’ + +‘And you do not wish to hear the reason?’ + +‘That afterwards. Now! I am all ears.’ At this moment Ganymede entered, +and whispered the Goddess, who rose in evident vexation, and retired to +the presence of Jove. + +The King of Thessaly quitted the Hall of Music. Moody, yet not +uninfluenced by a degree of wild excitement, he wandered forth into the +gardens of Olympus. He came to a beautiful green retreat surrounded by +enormous cedars, so vast that it seemed they must have been coeval with +the creation; so fresh and brilliant, you would have deemed them wet +with the dew of their first spring. The turf, softer than down, and +exhaling, as you pressed it, an exquisite perfume, invited him to +recline himself upon this natural couch. He threw himself upon the +aromatic herbage, and leaning on his arm, fell into a deep reverie. + +Hours flew away; the sunshiny glades that opened in the distance had +softened into shade. + +‘Ixion, how do you do?’ inquired a voice, wild, sweet, and thrilling as +a bird. The King of Thessaly started and looked up with the distracted +air of a man roused from a dream, or from complacent meditation over +some strange, sweet secret. His cheek was flushed, his dark eyes flashed +fire; his brow trembled, his dishevelled hair played in the fitful +breeze. The King of Thessaly looked up, and beheld a most beautiful +youth. + +Apparently, he had attained about the age of puberty. His stature, +however, was rather tall for his age, but exquisitely moulded and +proportioned. Very fair, his somewhat round cheeks were tinted with +a rich but delicate glow, like the rose of twilight, and lighted by +dimples that twinkled like stars. His large and deep-blue eyes sparkled +with exultation, and an air of ill-suppressed mockery quivered round +his pouting lips. His light auburn hair, braided off his white forehead, +clustered in massy curls on each side of his face, and fell in sunny +torrents down his neck. And from the back of the beautiful youth there +fluttered forth two wings, the tremulous plumage of which seemed to have +been bathed in a sunset: so various, so radiant, and so novel were its +shifting and wondrous tints; purple, and crimson, and gold; streaks of +azure, dashes of orange and glossy black; now a single feather, +whiter than light, and sparkling like the frost, stars of emerald and +carbuncle, and then the prismatic blaze of an enormous brilliant! A +quiver hung at the side of the beautiful youth, and he leant upon a bow. + +‘Oh! God, for God thou must be!’ at length exclaimed Ixion. ‘Do I behold +the bright divinity of Love?’ + +‘I am indeed Cupid,’ replied the youth; ‘and am curious to know what +Ixion is thinking about.’ ‘Thought is often bolder than speech.’ +‘Oracular, though a mortal! You need not be afraid to trust me. My aid +I am sure you must need. Who ever was found in a reverie on the +green turf, under the shade of spreading trees, without requiring the +assistance of Cupid? Come! be frank, who is the heroine? Some love-sick +nymph deserted on the far earth; or worse, some treacherous mistress, +whose frailty is more easily forgotten than her charms? ‘Tis a miserable +situation, no doubt. It cannot be your wife?’ + +‘Assuredly not,’ replied Ixion, with energy. + +‘Another man’s?’ + +‘No.’ + +‘What! an obdurate maiden?’ + +Ixion shook his head. + +‘It must be a widow, then,’ continued Cupid. ‘Who ever heard before of +such a piece of work about a widow!’ + +‘Have pity upon me, dread Cupid!’ exclaimed the King of Thessaly, rising +suddenly from the ground, and falling on his knee before the God. +‘Thou art the universal friend of man, and all nations alike throw their +incense on thy altars. Thy divine discrimination has not deceived thee. +I _am_ in love; desperately, madly, fatally enamoured. The object of my +passion is neither my own wife nor another man’s. In spite of all they +have said and sworn, I am a moral member of society. She is neither a +maid nor a widow. She is------’ + +‘What? what?’ exclaimed the impatient deity. + +‘A Goddess!’ replied the King. + +‘Wheugh!’ whistled Cupid. ‘What! has my mischievous mother been +indulging you with an innocent flirtation?’ + +‘Yes; but it produced no effect upon me.’ + +‘You have a stout heart, then. Perhaps you have been reading poetry with +Minerva, and are caught in one of her Platonic man-traps.’ + +‘She set one, but I broke away.’ + +‘You have a stout leg, then. But where are you, where are you? Is it +Hebe? It can hardly be Diana, she is so cold. Is it a Muse, or is it one +of the Graces?’ + +Ixion again shook his head. + +‘Come, my dear fellow,’ said Cupid, quite in a confidential tone, ‘you +have told enough to make further reserve mere affectation. Ease your +heart at once, and if I can assist you, depend upon my exertions.’ + +‘Beneficent God!’ exclaimed Ixion, ‘if I ever return to Larissa, the +brightest temple in Greece shall hail thee for its inspiring deity. I +address thee with all the confiding frankness of a devoted votary. Know, +then, the heroine of my reverie was no less a personage than the Queen +of Heaven herself!’ + +‘Juno! by all that is sacred!’ shouted Cupid. ‘I am here,’ responded +a voice of majestic melody. The stately form of the Queen of Heaven +advanced from a neighbouring bower. Ixion stood with his eyes fixed +upon the ground, with a throbbing heart and burning cheeks. Juno stood +motionless, pale, and astounded. The God of Love burst into excessive +laughter. + +[Illustration: page28] + +‘A pretty pair!’ he exclaimed, fluttering between both, and laughing +in their faces. ‘Truly a pretty pair! Well! I see I am in your way. +Good-bye!’ And so saying, the God pulled a couple of arrows from his +quiver, and with the rapidity of lightning shot one in the respective +breasts of the Queen of Heaven and the King of Thessaly. + +The amethystine twilight of Olympus died away. The stars blazed with +tints of every hue. Ixion and Juno returned to the palace. She leant +upon his arm; her eyes were fixed upon the ground; they were in sight of +the gorgeous pile, and yet she had not spoken. Ixion, too, was silent, +and gazed with abstraction upon the glowing sky. + +Suddenly, when within a hundred yards of the portal, Juno stopped, and +looking up into the face of Ixion with an irresistible smile, she +said, ‘I am sure you cannot now refuse to tell me what the Queen of +Mesopotamia’s peacock’s tail was made of!’ + +‘It is impossible now,’ said Ixion. ‘Know, then, beautiful Goddess, that +the tail of the Queen of Mesopotamia’s peacock was made of some plumage +she had stolen from the wings of Cupid.’ + +‘And what was the reason that prevented you from telling me before?’ + +‘Because, beautiful Juno, I am the most discreet of men, and respect the +secret of a lady, however trifling.’ + +‘I am glad to hear that,’ replied Juno, and they re-entered the palace. + +Mercury met Juno and Ixion in the gallery leading to the grand +banqueting hall. + +‘I was looking for you,’ said the God, shaking his head. ‘Jove is in a +sublime rage. Dinner has been ready this hour.’ + +The King of Thessaly and the Queen of Heaven exchanged a glance and +entered the saloon. Jove looked up with a brow of thunder, but did not +condescend to send forth a single flash of anger. Jove looked up and +Jove looked down. All Olympus trembled as the Father of Gods and men +resumed his soup. The rest of the guests seemed nervous and reserved, +except Cupid, who said immediately to Juno, ‘Your Majesty has been +detained?’ + +‘I fell asleep in a bower reading Apollo’s last poem,’ replied Juno. ‘I +am lucky, however, in finding a companion in my negligence. Ixion, where +have you been?’ + +‘Take a glass of nectar, Juno,’ said Cupid, with eyes twinkling with +mischief; ‘and perhaps Ixion will join us.’ + +This was the most solemn banquet ever celebrated in Olympus. Everyone +seemed out of humour or out of spirits. Jupiter spoke only in +monosyllables of suppressed rage, that sounded like distant thunder. +Apollo whispered to Minerva. Mercury never opened his lips, but +occasionally exchanged significant glances with Ganymede. Mars +compensated, by his attentions to Venus, for his want of conversation. +Cupid employed himself in asking disagreeable questions. At length +the Goddesses retired. Mercury exerted himself to amuse Jove, but the +Thunderer scarcely deigned to smile at his best stories. Mars picked +his teeth, Apollo played with his rings, Ixion was buried in a profound +reverie. + +It was a great relief to all when Ganymede summoned them to the presence +of their late companions. + +‘I have written a comment upon your inscription,’ said Minerva to Ixion, +‘and am anxious for your opinion of it.’ + +‘I am a wretched critic,’ said the King, breaking away from her. Juno +smiled upon him in the distance. + +‘Ixion,’ said Venus, as he passed by, ‘come and talk to me.’ + +The bold Thessalian blushed, he stammered out an unmeaning excuse, he +quitted the astonished but good-natured Goddess, and seated himself by +Juno, and as he seated himself his moody brow seemed suddenly illumined +with brilliant light. + +‘Is it so?’ said Venus. + +‘Hem!’ said Minerva. + +‘Ha, ha!’ said Cupid. + +Jupiter played piquette with Mercury. + +‘Everything goes wrong to-day,’ said the King of Heaven; ‘cards +wretched, and kept waiting for dinner, and by-----a mortal!’ + +‘Your Majesty must not be surprised,’ said the good-natured Mercury, +with whom Ixion was no favourite. ‘Your Majesty must not be very much +surprised at the conduct of this creature. Considering what he is, and +where he is, I am only astonished that his head is not more turned than +it appears to be. A man, a thing made of mud, and in Heaven! Only think, +sire! Is it not enough to inflame the brain of any child of clay? To be +sure, keeping your Majesty from dinner is little short of celestial high +treason. I hardly expected that, indeed. To order me about, to treat +Ganymede as his own lacquey, and, in short, to command the whole +household; all this might be expected from such a person in such a +situation, but I confess I did think he had some little respect left for +your Majesty.’ + +‘And he does order you about, eh?’ inquired Jove. ‘I have the spades.’ + +‘Oh! ‘tis quite ludicrous,’ responded the son of Maia. ‘Your Majesty +would not expect from me the offices that this upstart daily requires.’ + +‘Eternal destiny! is’t possible? That is my trick. And Ganymede, too?’ + +‘Oh! quite shocking, I assure you, sire,’ said the beautiful cupbearer, +leaning over the chair of Jove with all the easy insolence of a +privileged favourite. ‘Really, sire, if Ixion is to go on in the way he +does, either he or I must quit.’ + +‘Is it possible?’ exclaimed Jupiter. ‘But I can believe anything of a +man who keeps me waiting for dinner. Two and three make five.’ + +‘It is Juno that encourages him so,’ said Ganymede. + +‘Does she encourage him?’ inquired Jove. + +‘Everybody notices it,’ protested Ganymede. + +‘It is indeed a little noticed,’ observed Mercury. + +‘What business has such a fellow to speak to Juno?’ exclaimed Jove. ‘A +mere mortal, a mere miserable mortal! You have the point. How I have +been deceived in this fellow! Who ever could have supposed that, +after all my generosity to him, he would ever have kept me waiting for +dinner?’ + +‘He was walking with Juno,’ said Ganymede. ‘It was all a sham about +their having met by accident. Cupid saw them.’ + +‘Ha!’ said Jupiter, turning pale; ‘you don’t say so! Repiqued, as I am a +God. That is mine. Where is the Queen?’ + +‘Talking to Ixion, sire,’ said Mercury. ‘Oh, I beg your pardon, sire; I +did not know you meant the queen of diamonds.’ + +‘Never mind. I am repiqued, and I have been kept waiting for dinner. +Accursed be this day! Is Ixion really talking to Juno? We will not +endure this.’ + +‘Where is Juno?’ demanded Jupiter. + +‘I am sure I cannot say,’ said Venus, with a smile. + +‘I am sure I do not know,’ said Minerva, with a sneer. + +‘Where is Ixion?’ said Cupid, laughing outright. + +‘Mercury, Ganymede, find the Queen of Heaven instantly,’ thundered the +Father of Gods and men. + +The celestial messenger and the heavenly page flew away out of different +doors. There was a terrible, an immortal silence. Sublime rage lowered +on the brow of Jove like a storm upon the mountain-top. Minerva seated +herself at the card-table and played at Patience. Venus and Cupid +tittered in the background. Shortly returned the envoys, Mercury looking +solemn, Ganymede malignant. + +‘Well?’ inquired Jove; and all Olympus trembled at the monosyllable. + +Mercury shook his head. + +‘Her Majesty has been walking on the terrace with the King of Thessaly,’ +replied Ganymede. + +‘Where is she now, sir?’ demanded Jupiter. + +Mercury shrugged his shoulders. + +‘Her Majesty is resting herself in the pavilion of Cupid, with the King +of Thessaly,’ replied Ganymede. + +‘Confusion!’ exclaimed the Father of Gods and men; and he rose and +seized a candle from the table, scattering the cards in all directions. +Every one present, Minerva and Venus, and Mars and Apollo, and Mercury +and Ganymede, and the Muses, and the Graces, and all the winged +genii--each seized a candle; rifling the chandeliers, each followed Jove. + +‘This way,’ said Mercury. + +‘This way,’ said Ganymede. + +‘This way, this way!’ echoed the celestial crowd. + +‘Mischief!’ cried Cupid; ‘I must save my victims.’ + +They were all upon the terrace. The Father of Gods and men, though both +in a passion and a hurry, moved with dignity. It was, as customary in +Heaven, a clear and starry night; but this eve Diana was indisposed, or +otherwise engaged, and there was no moonlight. They were in sight of the +pavilion. + +‘What are you?’ inquired Cupid of one of the genii, who accidentally +extinguished his candle. + +‘I am a cloud,’ answered the winged genius. + +‘A cloud! Just the thing. Now do me a shrewd turn, and Cupid is ever +your debtor. Fly, fly, pretty cloud, and encompass yon pavilion with +your form. Away! ask no questions; swift as my word.’ + +‘I declare there is a fog,’ said Venus. + +‘An evening mist in Heaven!’ said Minerva. + +‘Where is Nox?’ said Jove. ‘Everything goes wrong. Who ever heard of a +mist in Heaven?’ + +‘My candle is out,’ said Apollo. + +‘And mine, too,’ said Mars. + +‘And mine, and mine, and mine,’ said Mercury and Ganymede, and the Muses +and the Graces. + +‘All the candles are out!’ said Cupid; ‘a regular fog. I cannot even see +the pavilion: it must be hereabouts, though,’ said the God to himself. +‘So, so; I should be at home in my own pavilion, and am tolerably +accustomed to stealing about in the dark. There is a step; and here, +surely, is the lock. The door opens, but the cloud enters before me. +Juno, Juno,’ whispered the God of Love, ‘we are all here. Be contented +to escape, like many other innocent dames, with your reputation only +under a cloud: it will soon disperse; and lo! the heaven is clearing.’ + +‘It must have been the heat of our flambeaux,’ said Venus; ‘for see, the +mist is vanished; here is the pavilion.’ + +Ganymede ran forward, and dashed open the door. Ixion was alone. + +‘Seize him!’ said Jove. + +‘Juno is not here,’ said Mercury, with an air of blended congratulation +and disappointment. + +‘Never mind,’ said Jove; ‘seize him! He kept me waiting for dinner.’ + +‘Is this your hospitality, Ægiochus?’ exclaimed Ixion, in a tone of +bullying innocence. ‘I shall defend myself.’ + +‘Seize him, seize him!’ exclaimed Jupiter. ‘What! do you all falter? Are +you afraid of a mortal?’ + +‘And a Thessalian?’ added Ganymede. + +No one advanced. + +‘Send for Hercules,’ said Jove. + +‘I will fetch him in an instant,’ said Ganymede. + +‘I protest,’ said the King of Thessaly, ‘against this violation of the +most sacred rights.’ + +‘The marriage tie?’ said Mercury. + +‘The dinner-hour?’ said Jove. + +‘It is no use talking sentiment to Ixion,’ said Venus; ‘all mortals are +callous.’ + +‘Adventures are to the adventurous,’ said Minerva. + +‘Here is Hercules! here is Hercules!’ + +‘Seize him!’ said Jove; ‘seize that man.’ + +In vain the mortal struggled with the irresistible demigod. + +‘Shall I fetch your thunderbolt, Jove?’ inquired Ganymede. + +‘Anything short of eternal punishment is unworthy of a God,’ answered +Jupiter, with great dignity. ‘Apollo, bring me a wheel of your +chariot.’ + +‘What shall I do to-morrow morning?’ inquired the God of Light. + +‘Order an eclipse,’ replied Jove. ‘Bind the insolent wretch to the +wheel; hurl him to Hades; its motion shall be perpetual.’ + +‘What am I to bind him with?’ inquired Hercules. + +‘The girdle of Venus,’ replied the Thunderer. + +‘What is all this?’ inquired Juno, advancing, pale and agitated. + +‘Come along; you shall see,’ answered Jupiter. ‘Follow me, follow me.’ + +They all followed the leader, all the Gods, all the genii; in the midst, +the brawny husband of Hebe bearing Ixion aloft, bound to the fatal +wheel. They reached the terrace; they descended the sparkling steps of +lapis-lazuli. Hercules held his burthen on high, ready, at a nod, to +plunge the hapless but presumptuous mortal through space into Hades. The +heavenly group surrounded him, and peeped over the starry abyss. It was +a fine moral, and demonstrated the usual infelicity that attends unequal +connection. + +‘Celestial despot!’ said Ixion. + +In a moment all sounds were hushed, as they listened to the last words +of the unrivalled victim. Juno, in despair, leant upon the respective +arms of Venus and Minerva. + +‘Celestial despot!’ said Ixion, ‘I defy the immortal ingenuity of thy +cruelty. My memory must be as eternal as thy torture: that will support +me.’ + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Ixion In Heaven, by Benjamin Disraeli + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IXION IN HEAVEN *** + +***** This file should be named 20009-0.txt or 20009-0.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/0/0/0/20009/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Ixion In Heaven + +Author: Benjamin Disraeli + +Release Date: December 3, 2006 [EBook #20009] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IXION IN HEAVEN *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +IXION IN HEAVEN + +By Benjamin Disraeli + + + + + _ADVERTISEMENT_ + + _'IXION, King of Thessaly, famous for its horses, married + Dia, daughter of Deioneus, who, in consequence of his son- + in-law's non-fulfilment of his engagements, stole away some + of the monarch's steeds. Ixion concealed his resentment + under the mask of friendship. He invited his father-in-law + to a feast at Larissa, the capital of his kingdom; and when + Deioneus arrived according to his appointment, he threw him + into a pit which he had previously filled with burning + coals. This treachery so irritated the neighbouring princes, + that all of them refused to perform the usual ceremony, by + which a man was then purified of murder, and Ixion was + shunned and despised by all mankind. Jupiter had compassion + upon him, carried him to Heaven, and introduced him to the + Father of the Gods. Such a favour, which ought to have + awakened gratitude in Ixion, only served to inflame his bad + passions; he became enamoured of Juno, and attempted to + seduce her. Juno was willing to gratify the passion of + Ixion, though, according to others,' &c.--Classical + Dictionary, art. 'Ixion.'_ + + + + +IXION IN HEAVEN + + + + +PART I. + + _An Errant King_ + +THE thunder groaned, the wind howled, the rain fell in hissing torrents, +impenetrable darkness covered the earth. A blue and forky flash darted a +momentary light over the landscape. A Doric temple rose in the centre of +a small and verdant plain, surrounded on all sides by green and hanging +woods. + +'Jove is my only friend,' exclaimed a wanderer, as he muffled himself up +in his mantle; 'and were it not for the porch of his temple, this night, +methinks, would complete the work of my loving wife and my dutiful +subjects.' + +The thunder died away, the wind sank into silence, the rain ceased, and +the parting clouds exhibited the glittering crescent of the young moon. +A sonorous and majestic voice sounded from the skies:-- + +'Who art thou that hast no other friend than Jove?' 'One whom all +mankind unite in calling a wretch.' 'Art thou a philosopher?' + +'If philosophy be endurance. But for the rest, I was sometime a king, +and am now a scatterling.' 'How do they call thee? 'Ixion of Thessaly.' + +'Ixion of Thessaly! I thought he was a happy man. I heard that he was +just married.' + +'Father of Gods and men! for I deem thee such, Thessaly is not Olympus. +Conjugal felicity is only the portion of the immortals!' + +'Hem! What! was Dia jealous, which is common; or false, which is +commoner; or both, which is commonest?' + +'It may be neither. We quarrelled about nothing. Where there is little +sympathy, or too much, the splitting of a straw is plot enough for a +domestic tragedy. I was careless, her friends stigmatised me as callous; +she cold, her friends styled her magnanimous. Public opinion was all +on her side, merely because I did not choose that the world should +interfere between me and my wife. Dia took the world's advice upon every +point, and the world decided that she always acted rightly. However, +life is life, either in a palace or a cave. I am glad you ordered it to +leave off thundering.' + +'A cool dog this. And Dia left thee? 'No; I left her.' 'What, craven?' + +'Not exactly. The truth is-----'tis a long story. + +I was over head and ears in debt.' + +'Ah! that accounts for everything. Nothing so harassing as a want of +money! But what lucky fellows you mortals are with your _post-obits!_ +We Immortals are deprived of this resource. I was obliged to get up a +rebellion against my father, because he kept me so short, and could not +die.' + +'You could have married for money. I did.' 'I had no opportunity, there +was so little female society in those days. When I came out, there were +no heiresses except the Parcae, confirmed old maids; and no very rich +dowager, except my grandmother, old Terra.' + +'Just the thing; the older the better. However, I married Dia, the +daughter of Deioneus, with a prodigious portion; but after the ceremony +the old gentleman would not fulfil his part of the contract without +my giving up my stud. Can you conceive anything more unreasonable? I +smothered my resentment at the time; for the truth is, my tradesmen all +renewed my credit on the strength of the match, and so we went on +very well for a year; but at last they began to smell a rat, and grew +importunate. I entreated Dia to interfere; but she was a paragon of +daughters, and always took the side of her father. If she had only been +dutiful to her husband, she would have been a perfect woman. At last +I invited Deioneus to the Larissa races, with the intention of +conciliating him. The unprincipled old man bought the horse that I +had backed, and by which I intended to have redeemed my fortunes, and +withdrew it. My book was ruined. I dissembled my rage. I dug a pit in +our garden, and filled it with burning coals. As my father-in-law and +myself were taking a stroll after dinner, the worthy Deioneus fell in, +merely by accident. Dia proclaimed me the murderer of her father, and, +as a satisfaction to her wounded feelings, earnestly requested her +subjects to decapitate her husband. She certainly was the best of +daughters. There was no withstanding public opinion, an infuriated +rabble, and a magnanimous wife at the same time. They surrounded my +palace: I cut my way through the greasy-capped multitude, sword in hand, +and gained a neighbouring Court, where I solicited my brother princes +to purify me from the supposed murder. If I had only murdered a subject, +they would have supported me against the people; but Deioneus being a +crowned head, like themselves, they declared they would not countenance +so immoral a being as his son-in-law. And so, at length, after much +wandering, and shunned by all my species, I am here, Jove, in much +higher society than I ever expected to mingle.' + +'Well, thou art a frank dog, and in a sufficiently severe scrape. The +Gods must have pity on those for whom men have none. It is evident that +Earth is too hot for thee at present, so I think thou hadst better come +and stay a few weeks with us in Heaven.' 'Take my thanks for hecatombs, +great Jove. Thou art, indeed, a God!' + +'I hardly know whether our life will suit you. We dine at sunset; for +Apollo is so much engaged that he cannot join us sooner, and no dinner +goes off well without him. In the morning you are your own master, and +must find amusement where you can. Diana will show you some tolerable +sport. Do you shoot?' + +'No arrow surer. Fear not for me, giochus: I am always at home. But +how am I to get to you?' 'I will send Mercury; he is the best travelling +companion in the world. What ho! my Eagle!' + +The clouds joined, and darkness again fell over the earth. + +'So! tread softly. Don't be nervous. Are you sick?' + +'A little nausea; 'tis nothing.' + +'The novelty of the motion. The best thing is a beefsteak. We will stop +at Taurus and take one.' + +'You have been a great traveller, Mercury?' + +'I have seen the world.' + +'Ah! a wondrous spectacle. I long to travel.' + +'The same thing over and over again. Little novelty and much change. I +am wearied with exertion, and if I could get a pension would retire.' + +'And yet travel brings wisdom.' + +'It cures us of care. Seeing much we feel little, and learn how very +petty are all those great affairs which cost us such anxiety.' + +'I feel that already myself. Floating in this blue aether, what the +devil is my wife to me, and her dirty Earth! My persecuting enemies seem +so many pismires; and as for my debts, which have occasioned me so many +brooding moments, honour and infamy, credit and beggary, seem to me +alike ridiculous.' + +'Your mind is opening, Ixion. You will soon be a man of the world. To +the left, and keep clear of that star.' + +'Who lives there?' + +'The Fates know, not I. Some low people who are trying to shine into +notice. 'Tis a parvenu planet, and only sprung into space within this +century. We do not visit them.' + +'Poor devils! I feel hungry.' + +'All right. We shall get into Heaven by the first dinner bolt. You +cannot arrive at a strange house at a better moment. We shall just have +time to dress. I would not spoil my appetite by luncheon. Jupiter keeps +a capital cook.' + +'I have heard of Nectar and Ambrosia.' 'Poh! nobody touches them. +They are regular old-fashioned celestial food, and merely put upon the +side-table. Nothing goes down in Heaven now but infernal cookery. We +took our chef from Proserpine.' + +'Were you ever in Hell?' + +'Several times. 'Tis the fashion now among the Olympians to pass the +winter there.' 'Is this the season in Heaven?' 'Yes; you are lucky. +Olympus is quite full.' 'It was kind of Jupiter to invite me.' 'Ay! he +has his good points. And, no doubt, he has taken a liking to you, which +is all very well. But be upon your guard. He has no heart, and is as +capricious as he is tyrannical.' + +'Gods cannot be more unkind to me than men have been.' + +'All those who have suffered think they have seen the worst. A great +mistake. However, you are now in the high road to preferment, so we will +not be dull. There are some good fellows enough amongst us. You will +like old Neptune.' 'Is he there now?' + +'Yes, he generally passes his summer with us. There is little stirring +in the ocean at that season.' 'I am anxious to see Mars.' + +'Oh! a brute, more a bully than a hero. Not at all in the best set. +These mustachioed gentry are by no means the rage at present in Olympus. +The women are all literary now, and Minerva has quite eclipsed Venus. +Apollo is our hero. You must read his last work.' + +'I hate reading.' + +'So do I. I have no time, and seldom do anything in that way but glance +at a newspaper. Study and action will not combine.' + +'I suppose I shall find the Goddesses very proud?' + +'You will find them as you find women below, of different dispositions +with the same object. Venus is a flirt; Minerva a prude, who fancies she +has a correct taste and a strong mind; and Juno a politician. As for the +rest, faint heart never won fair lady; take a friendly hint, and do not +be alarmed.' + +'I fear nothing. My mind mounts with my fortunes. We are above the +clouds. They form beneath us a vast and snowy region, dim and irregular, +as I have sometimes seen them clustering upon the horizon's ridge at +sunset, like a raging sea stilled by some sudden supernatural frost +and frozen into form! How bright the air above us, and how delicate +its fragrant breath! I scarcely breathe, and yet my pulses beat like +my first youth. I hardly feel my being. A splendour falls upon your +presence. You seem, indeed, a God! Am I so glorious? This, this is +Heaven!' + +The travellers landed on a vast flight of sparkling steps of +lapis-lazuli. Ascending, they entered beautiful gardens; winding +walks that yielded to the feet, and accelerated your passage by their +rebounding pressure; fragrant shrubs covered with dazzling flowers, the +fleeting tints of which changed every moment; groups of tall trees, with +strange birds of brilliant and variegated plumage, singing and reposing +in their sheeny foliage, and fountains of perfumes. + +Before them rose an illimitable and golden palace, with high spreading +domes of pearl, and long windows of crystal. Around the huge portal of +ruby was ranged a company of winged genii, who smiled on Mercury as he +passed them with his charge. + +'The Father of Gods and men is dressing,' said the son of Maia. 'I shall +attend his toilet and inform him of your arrival. These are your rooms. +Dinner will be ready in half an hour. I will call for you as I go down. +You can be formally presented in the evening. At that time, inspired by +liqueurs and his matchless band of wind instruments, you will agree with +the world that giochus is the most finished God in existence.' + +'Now, Ixion, are you ready?' 'Even so. What says Jove?' 'He smiled, but +said nothing. He was trying on a new robe. By this time he is seated. +Hark! the thunder. Come on!' + +They entered a cupolaed hall. Seats of ivory and gold were ranged round +a circular table of cedar, inlaid with the campaigns against the Titans, +in silver exquisitely worked, a nuptial present of Vulcan. The service +of gold plate threw all the ideas of the King of Thessaly as to royal +magnificence into the darkest shade. The enormous plateau represented +the constellations. Ixion viewed the Father of Gods and men with great +interest, who, however, did not notice him. He acknowledged the majesty +of that countenance whose nod shook Olympus. Majestically robust and +luxuriantly lusty, his tapering waist was evidently immortal, for it +defied Time, and his splendid auburn curls, parted on his forehead +with celestial precision, descended over cheeks glowing with the purple +radiancy of perpetual manhood. + +The haughty Juno was seated on his left hand and Ceres on his right. For +the rest of the company there was Neptune, Latona, Minerva, and Apollo, +and when Mercury and Ixion had taken their places, one seat was still +vacant. + +'Where is Diana?' inquired Jupiter, with a frown. + +'My sister is hunting,' said Apollo. + +'She is always too late for dinner,' said Jupiter. 'No habit is less +Goddess-like.' + +'Godlike pursuits cannot be expected to induce Goddess-like manners,' +said Juno, with a sneer. + +'I have no doubt Diana will be here directly,' said Latona, mildly. + +Jupiter seemed pacified, and at that instant the absent guest returned. + +'Good sport, Di?' inquired Neptune. + +'Very fair, uncle. Mamma,' continued the sister of Apollo, addressing +herself to Juno, whom she ever thus styled when she wished to conciliate +her, 'I have brought you a new peacock.' + +Juno was fond of pets, and was conciliated by the present. + +'Bacchus made a great noise about this wine, Mercury,' said Jupiter,' +but I think with little cause. What think you?' + +'It pleases me, but I am fatigued, and then all wine is agreeable.' + +'You have had a long journey,' replied the Thunderer. 'Ixion, I am glad +to see you in Heaven.' + +'Your Majesty arrived to-day?' inquired Minerva, to whom the King of +Thessaly sat next. + +'Within this hour.' + +'You must leave off talking of Time now,' said Minerva, with a severe +smile. 'Pray is there anything new in Greece?' + +'I have not been at all in society lately.' + +'No new edition of Homer? I admire him exceedingly.' + +'All about Greece interests me,' said Apollo, who, although handsome, +was a somewhat melancholy lack-a-daisical looking personage, with his +shirt collar thrown open, and his long curls theatrically arranged. +'All about Greece interests me. I always consider Greece my peculiar +property. My best poems were written at Delphi. I travelled in Greece +when I was young. I envy mankind.' + +'Indeed!' said Ixion. + +'Yes: they at least can look forward to a termination of the ennui of +existence, but for us Celestials there is no prospect. Say what they +like, immortality is a bore.' + +'You eat nothing, Apollo,' said Ceres. + +'Nor drink,' said Neptune. + +'To eat, to drink, what is it but to live; and what is life but death, +if death be that which all men deem it, a thing insufferable, and to +be shunned. I refresh myself now only with soda-water and biscuits. +Ganymede, bring some.' + +Now, although the _cuisine_ of Olympus was considered perfect, the +forlorn poet had unfortunately fixed upon the only two articles which +were not comprised in its cellar or larder. In Heaven, there was neither +soda-water nor biscuits. A great confusion consequently ensued; but at +length the bard, whose love of fame was only equalled by his horror of +getting fat, consoled himself with a swan stuffed with truffles, and a +bottle of strong Tenedos wine. + +'What do you think of Homer?' inquired Minerva of Apollo. 'Is he not +delightful?' + +'If you think so.' + +'Nay, I am desirous of your opinion.' + +'Then you should not have given me yours, for your taste is too fine for +me to dare to differ with it.' + +'I have suspected, for some time, that you are rather a heretic' + +'Why, the truth is,' replied Apollo, playing with his rings, 'I do not +think much of Homer. Homer was not esteemed in his own age, and our +contemporaries are generally our best judges. The fact is, there are +very few people who are qualified to decide upon matters of taste. A +certain set, for certain reasons, resolve to cry up a certain writer, +and the great mass soon join in. All is cant. And the present admiration +of Homer is not less so. They say I have borrowed a great deal from him. +The truth is, I never read Homer since I was a child, and I thought of +him then what I think of him now, a writer of some wild irregular power, +totally deficient in taste. Depend upon it, our contemporaries are our +best judges, and his contemporaries decided that Homer was nothing. +A great poet cannot be kept down. Look at my case. Marsyas said of my +first volume that it was pretty good poetry for a God, and in answer I +wrote a satire, and flayed Marsyas alive. But what is poetry, and what +is criticism, and what is life? Air. And what is air? Do you know? I +don't. All is mystery, and all is gloom, and ever and anon from out the +clouds a star breaks forth, and glitters, and that star is Poetry.' + +'Splendid!' exclaimed Minerva. + +'I do not exactly understand you,' said Neptune. + +'Have you heard from Proserpine, lately?' inquired Jupiter of Ceres. + +'Yesterday,' said the domestic mother. 'They talk of soon joining us. +But Pluto is at present so busy, owing to the amazing quantity of +wars going on now, that I am almost afraid he will scarcely be able to +accompany her.' + +Juno exchanged a telegraphic nod with Ceres. The Goddesses rose, and +retired. + +'Come, old boy,' said Jupiter to Ixion, instantly throwing off all his +chivalric majesty, 'I drink your welcome in a magnum of Maraschino. +Damn your poetry, Apollo, and, Mercury, give us one of your good +stories.' + +'Well! what do you think of him?' asked Juno. + +'He appears to have a fine mind,' said Minerva. + +'Poh! he has very fine eyes,' said Juno. + +'He seems a very nice, quiet young gentleman,' said Ceres. + +'I have no doubt he is very amiable,' said Latona. + +'He must have felt very strange,' said Diana. + +Hercules arrived with his bride Hebe; soon after the Graces dropped in, +the most delightful personages in the world for a _soiree_, so useful +and ready for anything. Afterwards came a few of the Muses, Thalia, +Melpomene, and Terpsichore, famous for a charade or a proverb. Jupiter +liked to be amused in the evening. Bacchus also came, but finding that +the Gods had not yet left their wine, retired to pay them a visit. + +Ganymede announced coffee in the saloon of Juno. Jupiter was in superb +good humour. He was amused by his mortal guest. He had condescended +to tell one of his best stories in his best style, about Leda, not too +scandalous, but gay. + +'Those were bright days,' said Neptune. + +'We can remember,' said the Thunderer, with a twinkling eye. 'These +youths have fallen upon duller times. There are no fine women now. +Ixion, I drink to the health of your wife.' + +'With all my heart, and may we never be nearer than we are at present.' + +'Good! i'faith; Apollo, your arm. Now for the ladies. La, la, la, la! +la, la, la, la!' + +The Thunderer entered the saloon of Juno with that bow which no God +could rival; all rose, and the King of Heaven seated himself between +Ceres and Latona. The melancholy Apollo stood apart, and was soon +carried off by Minerva to an assembly at the house of Mnemosyne. +Mercury chatted with the Graces, and Bacchus with Diana. The three Muses +favoured the company with singing, and the Queen of Heaven approached +Ixion. + +'Does your Majesty dance?' she haughtily inquired. + +'On earth; I have few accomplishments even there, and none in Heaven.' + +'You have led a strange life! I have heard of your adventures.' + +'A king who has lost his crown may generally gain at least experience.' + +'Your courage is firm.' + +'I have felt too much to care for much. Yesterday I was a vagabond +exposed to every pitiless storm, and now I am the guest of Jove. While +there is life there is hope, and he who laughs at Destiny will gain +Fortune. I would go through the past again to enjoy the present, and +feel that, after all, I am my wife's debtor, since, through her conduct, +I can gaze upon you.' + +'No great spectacle. If that be all. I wish you better fortune.' + +'I desire no greater.' + +'You are moderate.' + +'I am perhaps more unreasonable than you imagine.' + +'Indeed!' + +Their eyes met; the dark orbs of the Thessalian did not quail before the +flashing vision of the Goddess. Juno grew pale. Juno turned away. + + + + +PART II. + + _'Others say it was only a cloud.'_ + + _A Mortal Among the Gods._ + +MERCURY and Ganymede were each lolling on an opposite couch in the +antechamber of Olympus. + +'It is wonderful,' said the son of Maia, yawning. 'It is incredible,' +rejoined the cupbearer of Jove, stretching his legs. + +'A miserable mortal!' exclaimed the God, elevating his eyebrows. + +'A vile Thessalian!' said the beautiful Phrygian, shrugging his +shoulders. + +'Not three days back an outcast among his own wretched species!' + +'And now commanding everybody in Heaven.' 'He shall not command me, +though,' said Mercury. + +'Will he not?' replied Ganymede. 'Why, what do you think? only last +night; hark! here he comes.' + +The companions jumped up from their couches; a light laugh was heard. +The cedar portal was flung open, and Ixion lounged in, habited in a +loose morning robe, and kicking before him one of his slippers. 'Ah!' +exclaimed the King of Thessaly, 'the very fellows I wanted to see! +Ganymede, bring me some nectar; and, Mercury, run and tell Jove that I +shall not dine at home to-day.' + +The messenger and the page exchanged looks of indignant consternation. + +'Well! what are you waiting for?' continued Ixion, looking round from +the mirror in which he was arranging his locks. The messenger and the +page disappeared. + +'So! this is Heaven,' exclaimed the husband of Dia, flinging himself +upon one of the couches; 'and a very pleasant place too. These worthy +Immortals required their minds to be opened, and I trust I have +effectually performed the necessary operation. They wanted to keep me +down with their dull old-fashioned celestial airs, but I fancy I have +given them change for their talent. To make your way in Heaven you +must command. These exclusives sink under the audacious invention of +an aspiring mind. Jove himself is really a fine old fellow, with some +notions too. I am a prime favourite, and no one is greater authority +with giochus on all subjects, from the character of the fair sex or +the pedigree of a courser, down to the cut of a robe or the flavour of a +dish. Thanks, Ganymede,' continued the Thessalian, as he took the goblet +from his returning attendant. + +'I drink to your _bonnes fortunes_. Splendid! This nectar makes me feel +quite immortal. By-the-bye, I hear sweet sounds. Who is in the Hall of +Music?' + +'The Goddesses, royal sir, practise a new air of Euterpe, the words by +Apollo. 'Tis pretty, and will doubtless be very popular, for it is all +about moonlight and the misery of existence.' + +'I warrant it.' + +'You have a taste for poetry yourself?' inquired Ganymede. + +'Not the least,' replied Ixion. + +'Apollo,' continued the heavenly page, 'is a great genius, though +Marsyas said that he never would be a poet because he was a God, and had +no heart. But do you think, sir, that a poet does indeed need a heart?' + +'I really cannot say. I know my wife always said I had a bad heart +and worse head; but what she meant, upon my honour I never could +understand.' + +'Minerva will ask you to write in her album.' + +'Will she indeed! I am sorry to hear it, for I can scarcely scrawl my +signature. I should think that Jove himself cared little for all this +nonsense.' + +'Jove loves an epigram. He does not esteem Apollo's works at all. Jove +is of the classical school, and admires satire, provided there be no +allusions to Gods and kings.' + +'Of course; I quite agree with him. I remember we had a confounded poet +at Larissa who proved my family lived before the deluge, and asked me +for a pension. I refused him, and then he wrote an epigram asserting +that I sprang from the veritable stones thrown by Deucalion and Pyrrha +at the re-peopling of the earth, and retained all the properties of my +ancestors.' + +'Ha, ha! Hark! there's a thunderbolt! I must run to Jove.' + +'And I will look in on the musicians. This way, I think?' + +'Up the ruby staircase, turn to your right, down the amethyst gallery. +Farewell!' + +'Good-bye; a lively lad that!' + +The King of Thessaly entered the Hall of Music with its golden walls +and crystal dome. The Queen of Heaven was reclining in an easy chair, +cutting out peacocks in small sheets of note paper. Minerva was making +a pencil observation on a manuscript copy of the song: Apollo listened +with deference to her laudatory criticisms. Another divine dame, +standing by the side of Euterpe, who was seated by the harp, looked +up as Ixion entered. The wild liquid glance of her soft but radiant +countenance denoted the famed Goddess of Beauty. + +Juno just acknowledged the entrance of Ixion by a slight and haughty +inclination of the head, and then resumed her employment. Minerva asked +him his opinion of her amendment, of which he greatly approved. Apollo +greeted him with a melancholy smile, and congratulated him on being +mortal. Venus complimented him on his visit to Olympus, and expressed +the pleasure that she experienced in making his acquaintance. + +'What do you think of Heaven?' inquired Venus, in a soft still voice, +and with a smile like summer lightning. + +'I never found it so enchanting as at this moment,' replied Ixion. + +'A little dull? For myself, I pass my time chiefly at Cnidos: you must +come and visit me there. 'Tis the most charming place in the world. 'Tis +said, you know, that our onions are like other people's roses. We will +take care of you, if your wife come.' + +'No fear of that. She always remains at home and piques herself on +her domestic virtues, which means pickling, and quarrelling with her +husband.' + +'Ah! I see you are a droll. Very good indeed. Well, for my part, I like +a watering-place existence. Cnidos, Paphos, Cythera; you will usually +find me at one of these places. I like the easy distraction of a career +without any visible result. At these fascinating spots your gloomy race, +to whom, by-the-bye, I am exceedingly partial, appear emancipated from +the wearing fetters of their regular, dull, orderly, methodical, moral, +political, toiling existence. I pride myself upon being the Goddess of +watering-places. You really must pay me a visit at Cnidos.' + +'Such an invitation requires no repetition. And Cnidos is your favourite +spot?' + +'Why, it was so; but of late it has become so inundated with invalid +Asiatics and valetudinarian Persians, that the simultaneous influx of +the handsome heroes who swarm in from the islands to look after their +daughters, scarcely compensates for the annoying presence of their +yellow faces and shaking limbs. No, I think, on the whole, Paphos is my +favourite.' + +'I have heard of its magnificent luxury.' + +'Oh! 'tis lovely! Quite my idea of country life. Not a single tree! When +Cyprus is very hot, you run to Paphos for a sea-breeze, and are sure to +meet every one whose presence is in the least desirable. All the bores +remain behind, as if by instinct.' + +'I remember when we married, we talked of passing the honeymoon at +Cythera, but Dia would have her waiting-maid and a bandbox stuffed +between us in the chariot, so I got sulky after the first stage, and +returned by myself.' + +'You were quite right. I hate bandboxes: they are always in the way. +You would have liked Cythera if you had been in the least in love. +High rocks and green knolls, bowery woods, winding walks, and delicious +sunsets. I have not been there much of late,' continued the Goddess, +looking somewhat sad and serious, 'since--but I will not talk +sentiment to Ixion.' + +'Do you think, then, I am insensible?' + +'Yes.' + +'Perhaps you are right. We mortals grow callous.' + +'So I have heard. How very odd!' So saying, the Goddess glided away and +saluted Mars, who at that moment entered the hall. Ixion was presented +to the military hero, who looked fierce and bowed stiffly. The King of +Thessaly turned upon his heel. Minerva opened her album, and invited him +to inscribe a stanza. + +'Goddess of Wisdom,' replied the King, 'unless you inspire me, the +virgin page must remain pure as thyself. I can scarcely sign a decree.' + +'Is it Ixion of Thessaly who says this; one who has seen so much, +and, if I am not mistaken, has felt and thought so much? I can easily +conceive why such a mind may desire to veil its movements from the +common herd, but pray concede to Minerva the gratifying compliment +of assuring her that she is the exception for whom this rule has been +established.' + +'I seem to listen to the inspired music of an oracle. Give me a pen! + +'Here is one, plucked from a sacred owl.' 'So! I write. There! Will it +do?' Minerva read the inscription:-- + + _I HAVE SEEN THE WORLD, AND MORE THAN THE WORLD: + I HAVE STUDIED THE HEART OF MAN, + AND NOW I CONSORT WITH IMMORTALS. + THE FRUIT OF MY TREE OF KNOWLEDGE IS PLUCKED, + AND IT IS THIS, + 'Adventures are to the Adventurous.' + Written in the Album of Minerva, by + Ixion in Heaven._ + +''Tis brief,' said the Goddess, with a musing air, 'but full of meaning. +You have a daring soul and pregnant mind.' + +'I have dared much: what I may produce we have yet to see.' + +'I must to Jove,' said Minerva, 'to council. We shall meet again. +Farewell, Ixion.' + +'Farewell, Glaucopis.' + +The King of Thessaly stood away from the remaining guests, and leant +with folded arms and pensive brow against a wreathed column. Mars +listened to Venus with an air of deep devotion. Euterpe played an +inspiring accompaniment to their conversation. The Queen of Heaven +seemed engrossed in the creation of her paper peacocks. + +Ixion advanced and seated himself on a couch near Juno. His manner was +divested of that reckless bearing and careless coolness by which it was +in general distinguished. He was, perhaps, even a little embarrassed. +His ready tongue deserted him. At length he spoke. + +'Has your Majesty ever heard of the peacock of the Queen of +Mesopotamia?' + +'No,' replied Juno, with stately reserve; and then she added with an air +of indifferent curiosity, 'Is it in any way remarkable?' + +'Its breast is of silver, its wings of gold, its eyes of carbuncle, its +claws of amethyst.' + +'And its tail?' eagerly inquired Juno. + +'That is a secret,' replied Ixion. 'The tail is the most wonderful part +of all.' + +'Oh! tell me, pray tell me!' + +'I forget.' + +'No, no, no; it is impossible!' exclaimed the animated Juno. +'Provoking mortal!' continued the Goddess. 'Let me entreat you; tell me +immediately.' + +'There is a reason which prevents me.' + +'What can it be? How very odd! What reason can it possibly be? Now tell +me; as a particular, a personal favour, I request you, do tell me.' + +'What! The tail or the reason? The tail is wonderful, but the reason is +much more so. I can only tell one. Now choose.' + +'What provoking things these human beings are! The tail is wonderful, +but the reason is much more so. Well then, the reason; no, the tail. +Stop, now, as a particular favour, pray tell me both. What can the +tail be made of and what can the reason be? I am literally dying of +curiosity.' + +'Your Majesty has cut out that peacock wrong,' remarked Ixion. 'It is +more like one of Minerva's owls.' + +'Who cares about paper peacocks, when the Queen of Mesopotamia has got +such a miracle!' exclaimed Juno; and she tore the labours of the morning +to pieces, and threw away the fragments with vexation. 'Now tell me +instantly; if you have the slightest regard for me, tell me instantly. +What was the tail made of?' + +'And you do not wish to hear the reason?' + +'That afterwards. Now! I am all ears.' At this moment Ganymede entered, +and whispered the Goddess, who rose in evident vexation, and retired to +the presence of Jove. + +The King of Thessaly quitted the Hall of Music. Moody, yet not +uninfluenced by a degree of wild excitement, he wandered forth into the +gardens of Olympus. He came to a beautiful green retreat surrounded by +enormous cedars, so vast that it seemed they must have been coeval with +the creation; so fresh and brilliant, you would have deemed them wet +with the dew of their first spring. The turf, softer than down, and +exhaling, as you pressed it, an exquisite perfume, invited him to +recline himself upon this natural couch. He threw himself upon the +aromatic herbage, and leaning on his arm, fell into a deep reverie. + +Hours flew away; the sunshiny glades that opened in the distance had +softened into shade. + +'Ixion, how do you do?' inquired a voice, wild, sweet, and thrilling as +a bird. The King of Thessaly started and looked up with the distracted +air of a man roused from a dream, or from complacent meditation over +some strange, sweet secret. His cheek was flushed, his dark eyes flashed +fire; his brow trembled, his dishevelled hair played in the fitful +breeze. The King of Thessaly looked up, and beheld a most beautiful +youth. + +Apparently, he had attained about the age of puberty. His stature, +however, was rather tall for his age, but exquisitely moulded and +proportioned. Very fair, his somewhat round cheeks were tinted with +a rich but delicate glow, like the rose of twilight, and lighted by +dimples that twinkled like stars. His large and deep-blue eyes sparkled +with exultation, and an air of ill-suppressed mockery quivered round +his pouting lips. His light auburn hair, braided off his white forehead, +clustered in massy curls on each side of his face, and fell in sunny +torrents down his neck. And from the back of the beautiful youth there +fluttered forth two wings, the tremulous plumage of which seemed to have +been bathed in a sunset: so various, so radiant, and so novel were its +shifting and wondrous tints; purple, and crimson, and gold; streaks of +azure, dashes of orange and glossy black; now a single feather, +whiter than light, and sparkling like the frost, stars of emerald and +carbuncle, and then the prismatic blaze of an enormous brilliant! A +quiver hung at the side of the beautiful youth, and he leant upon a bow. + +'Oh! God, for God thou must be!' at length exclaimed Ixion. 'Do I behold +the bright divinity of Love?' + +'I am indeed Cupid,' replied the youth; 'and am curious to know what +Ixion is thinking about.' 'Thought is often bolder than speech.' +'Oracular, though a mortal! You need not be afraid to trust me. My aid +I am sure you must need. Who ever was found in a reverie on the +green turf, under the shade of spreading trees, without requiring the +assistance of Cupid? Come! be frank, who is the heroine? Some love-sick +nymph deserted on the far earth; or worse, some treacherous mistress, +whose frailty is more easily forgotten than her charms? 'Tis a miserable +situation, no doubt. It cannot be your wife?' + +'Assuredly not,' replied Ixion, with energy. + +'Another man's?' + +'No.' + +'What! an obdurate maiden?' + +Ixion shook his head. + +'It must be a widow, then,' continued Cupid. 'Who ever heard before of +such a piece of work about a widow!' + +'Have pity upon me, dread Cupid!' exclaimed the King of Thessaly, rising +suddenly from the ground, and falling on his knee before the God. +'Thou art the universal friend of man, and all nations alike throw their +incense on thy altars. Thy divine discrimination has not deceived thee. +I _am_ in love; desperately, madly, fatally enamoured. The object of my +passion is neither my own wife nor another man's. In spite of all they +have said and sworn, I am a moral member of society. She is neither a +maid nor a widow. She is------' + +'What? what?' exclaimed the impatient deity. + +'A Goddess!' replied the King. + +'Wheugh!' whistled Cupid. 'What! has my mischievous mother been +indulging you with an innocent flirtation?' + +'Yes; but it produced no effect upon me.' + +'You have a stout heart, then. Perhaps you have been reading poetry with +Minerva, and are caught in one of her Platonic man-traps.' + +'She set one, but I broke away.' + +'You have a stout leg, then. But where are you, where are you? Is it +Hebe? It can hardly be Diana, she is so cold. Is it a Muse, or is it one +of the Graces?' + +Ixion again shook his head. + +'Come, my dear fellow,' said Cupid, quite in a confidential tone, 'you +have told enough to make further reserve mere affectation. Ease your +heart at once, and if I can assist you, depend upon my exertions.' + +'Beneficent God!' exclaimed Ixion, 'if I ever return to Larissa, the +brightest temple in Greece shall hail thee for its inspiring deity. I +address thee with all the confiding frankness of a devoted votary. Know, +then, the heroine of my reverie was no less a personage than the Queen +of Heaven herself!' + +'Juno! by all that is sacred!' shouted Cupid. 'I am here,' responded +a voice of majestic melody. The stately form of the Queen of Heaven +advanced from a neighbouring bower. Ixion stood with his eyes fixed +upon the ground, with a throbbing heart and burning cheeks. Juno stood +motionless, pale, and astounded. The God of Love burst into excessive +laughter. + +[Illustration: page28] + +'A pretty pair!' he exclaimed, fluttering between both, and laughing +in their faces. 'Truly a pretty pair! Well! I see I am in your way. +Good-bye!' And so saying, the God pulled a couple of arrows from his +quiver, and with the rapidity of lightning shot one in the respective +breasts of the Queen of Heaven and the King of Thessaly. + +The amethystine twilight of Olympus died away. The stars blazed with +tints of every hue. Ixion and Juno returned to the palace. She leant +upon his arm; her eyes were fixed upon the ground; they were in sight of +the gorgeous pile, and yet she had not spoken. Ixion, too, was silent, +and gazed with abstraction upon the glowing sky. + +Suddenly, when within a hundred yards of the portal, Juno stopped, and +looking up into the face of Ixion with an irresistible smile, she +said, 'I am sure you cannot now refuse to tell me what the Queen of +Mesopotamia's peacock's tail was made of!' + +'It is impossible now,' said Ixion. 'Know, then, beautiful Goddess, that +the tail of the Queen of Mesopotamia's peacock was made of some plumage +she had stolen from the wings of Cupid.' + +'And what was the reason that prevented you from telling me before?' + +'Because, beautiful Juno, I am the most discreet of men, and respect the +secret of a lady, however trifling.' + +'I am glad to hear that,' replied Juno, and they re-entered the palace. + +Mercury met Juno and Ixion in the gallery leading to the grand +banqueting hall. + +'I was looking for you,' said the God, shaking his head. 'Jove is in a +sublime rage. Dinner has been ready this hour.' + +The King of Thessaly and the Queen of Heaven exchanged a glance and +entered the saloon. Jove looked up with a brow of thunder, but did not +condescend to send forth a single flash of anger. Jove looked up and +Jove looked down. All Olympus trembled as the Father of Gods and men +resumed his soup. The rest of the guests seemed nervous and reserved, +except Cupid, who said immediately to Juno, 'Your Majesty has been +detained?' + +'I fell asleep in a bower reading Apollo's last poem,' replied Juno. 'I +am lucky, however, in finding a companion in my negligence. Ixion, where +have you been?' + +'Take a glass of nectar, Juno,' said Cupid, with eyes twinkling with +mischief; 'and perhaps Ixion will join us.' + +This was the most solemn banquet ever celebrated in Olympus. Everyone +seemed out of humour or out of spirits. Jupiter spoke only in +monosyllables of suppressed rage, that sounded like distant thunder. +Apollo whispered to Minerva. Mercury never opened his lips, but +occasionally exchanged significant glances with Ganymede. Mars +compensated, by his attentions to Venus, for his want of conversation. +Cupid employed himself in asking disagreeable questions. At length +the Goddesses retired. Mercury exerted himself to amuse Jove, but the +Thunderer scarcely deigned to smile at his best stories. Mars picked +his teeth, Apollo played with his rings, Ixion was buried in a profound +reverie. + +It was a great relief to all when Ganymede summoned them to the presence +of their late companions. + +'I have written a comment upon your inscription,' said Minerva to Ixion, +'and am anxious for your opinion of it.' + +'I am a wretched critic,' said the King, breaking away from her. Juno +smiled upon him in the distance. + +'Ixion,' said Venus, as he passed by, 'come and talk to me.' + +The bold Thessalian blushed, he stammered out an unmeaning excuse, he +quitted the astonished but good-natured Goddess, and seated himself by +Juno, and as he seated himself his moody brow seemed suddenly illumined +with brilliant light. + +'Is it so?' said Venus. + +'Hem!' said Minerva. + +'Ha, ha!' said Cupid. + +Jupiter played piquette with Mercury. + +'Everything goes wrong to-day,' said the King of Heaven; 'cards +wretched, and kept waiting for dinner, and by-----a mortal!' + +'Your Majesty must not be surprised,' said the good-natured Mercury, +with whom Ixion was no favourite. 'Your Majesty must not be very much +surprised at the conduct of this creature. Considering what he is, and +where he is, I am only astonished that his head is not more turned than +it appears to be. A man, a thing made of mud, and in Heaven! Only think, +sire! Is it not enough to inflame the brain of any child of clay? To be +sure, keeping your Majesty from dinner is little short of celestial high +treason. I hardly expected that, indeed. To order me about, to treat +Ganymede as his own lacquey, and, in short, to command the whole +household; all this might be expected from such a person in such a +situation, but I confess I did think he had some little respect left for +your Majesty.' + +'And he does order you about, eh?' inquired Jove. 'I have the spades.' + +'Oh! 'tis quite ludicrous,' responded the son of Maia. 'Your Majesty +would not expect from me the offices that this upstart daily requires.' + +'Eternal destiny! is't possible? That is my trick. And Ganymede, too?' + +'Oh! quite shocking, I assure you, sire,' said the beautiful cupbearer, +leaning over the chair of Jove with all the easy insolence of a +privileged favourite. 'Really, sire, if Ixion is to go on in the way he +does, either he or I must quit.' + +'Is it possible?' exclaimed Jupiter. 'But I can believe anything of a +man who keeps me waiting for dinner. Two and three make five.' + +'It is Juno that encourages him so,' said Ganymede. + +'Does she encourage him?' inquired Jove. + +'Everybody notices it,' protested Ganymede. + +'It is indeed a little noticed,' observed Mercury. + +'What business has such a fellow to speak to Juno?' exclaimed Jove. 'A +mere mortal, a mere miserable mortal! You have the point. How I have +been deceived in this fellow! Who ever could have supposed that, +after all my generosity to him, he would ever have kept me waiting for +dinner?' + +'He was walking with Juno,' said Ganymede. 'It was all a sham about +their having met by accident. Cupid saw them.' + +'Ha!' said Jupiter, turning pale; 'you don't say so! Repiqued, as I am a +God. That is mine. Where is the Queen?' + +'Talking to Ixion, sire,' said Mercury. 'Oh, I beg your pardon, sire; I +did not know you meant the queen of diamonds.' + +'Never mind. I am repiqued, and I have been kept waiting for dinner. +Accursed be this day! Is Ixion really talking to Juno? We will not +endure this.' + +'Where is Juno?' demanded Jupiter. + +'I am sure I cannot say,' said Venus, with a smile. + +'I am sure I do not know,' said Minerva, with a sneer. + +'Where is Ixion?' said Cupid, laughing outright. + +'Mercury, Ganymede, find the Queen of Heaven instantly,' thundered the +Father of Gods and men. + +The celestial messenger and the heavenly page flew away out of different +doors. There was a terrible, an immortal silence. Sublime rage lowered +on the brow of Jove like a storm upon the mountain-top. Minerva seated +herself at the card-table and played at Patience. Venus and Cupid +tittered in the background. Shortly returned the envoys, Mercury looking +solemn, Ganymede malignant. + +'Well?' inquired Jove; and all Olympus trembled at the monosyllable. + +Mercury shook his head. + +'Her Majesty has been walking on the terrace with the King of Thessaly,' +replied Ganymede. + +'Where is she now, sir?' demanded Jupiter. + +Mercury shrugged his shoulders. + +'Her Majesty is resting herself in the pavilion of Cupid, with the King +of Thessaly,' replied Ganymede. + +'Confusion!' exclaimed the Father of Gods and men; and he rose and +seized a candle from the table, scattering the cards in all directions. +Every one present, Minerva and Venus, and Mars and Apollo, and Mercury +and Ganymede, and the Muses, and the Graces, and all the winged +genii--each seized a candle; rifling the chandeliers, each followed Jove. + +'This way,' said Mercury. + +'This way,' said Ganymede. + +'This way, this way!' echoed the celestial crowd. + +'Mischief!' cried Cupid; 'I must save my victims.' + +They were all upon the terrace. The Father of Gods and men, though both +in a passion and a hurry, moved with dignity. It was, as customary in +Heaven, a clear and starry night; but this eve Diana was indisposed, or +otherwise engaged, and there was no moonlight. They were in sight of the +pavilion. + +'What are you?' inquired Cupid of one of the genii, who accidentally +extinguished his candle. + +'I am a cloud,' answered the winged genius. + +'A cloud! Just the thing. Now do me a shrewd turn, and Cupid is ever +your debtor. Fly, fly, pretty cloud, and encompass yon pavilion with +your form. Away! ask no questions; swift as my word.' + +'I declare there is a fog,' said Venus. + +'An evening mist in Heaven!' said Minerva. + +'Where is Nox?' said Jove. 'Everything goes wrong. Who ever heard of a +mist in Heaven?' + +'My candle is out,' said Apollo. + +'And mine, too,' said Mars. + +'And mine, and mine, and mine,' said Mercury and Ganymede, and the Muses +and the Graces. + +'All the candles are out!' said Cupid; 'a regular fog. I cannot even see +the pavilion: it must be hereabouts, though,' said the God to himself. +'So, so; I should be at home in my own pavilion, and am tolerably +accustomed to stealing about in the dark. There is a step; and here, +surely, is the lock. The door opens, but the cloud enters before me. +Juno, Juno,' whispered the God of Love, 'we are all here. Be contented +to escape, like many other innocent dames, with your reputation only +under a cloud: it will soon disperse; and lo! the heaven is clearing.' + +'It must have been the heat of our flambeaux,' said Venus; 'for see, the +mist is vanished; here is the pavilion.' + +Ganymede ran forward, and dashed open the door. Ixion was alone. + +'Seize him!' said Jove. + +'Juno is not here,' said Mercury, with an air of blended congratulation +and disappointment. + +'Never mind,' said Jove; 'seize him! He kept me waiting for dinner.' + +'Is this your hospitality, giochus?' exclaimed Ixion, in a tone of +bullying innocence. 'I shall defend myself.' + +'Seize him, seize him!' exclaimed Jupiter. 'What! do you all falter? Are +you afraid of a mortal?' + +'And a Thessalian?' added Ganymede. + +No one advanced. + +'Send for Hercules,' said Jove. + +'I will fetch him in an instant,' said Ganymede. + +'I protest,' said the King of Thessaly, 'against this violation of the +most sacred rights.' + +'The marriage tie?' said Mercury. + +'The dinner-hour?' said Jove. + +'It is no use talking sentiment to Ixion,' said Venus; 'all mortals are +callous.' + +'Adventures are to the adventurous,' said Minerva. + +'Here is Hercules! here is Hercules!' + +'Seize him!' said Jove; 'seize that man.' + +In vain the mortal struggled with the irresistible demigod. + +'Shall I fetch your thunderbolt, Jove?' inquired Ganymede. + +'Anything short of eternal punishment is unworthy of a God,' answered +Jupiter, with great dignity. 'Apollo, bring me a wheel of your +chariot.' + +'What shall I do to-morrow morning?' inquired the God of Light. + +'Order an eclipse,' replied Jove. 'Bind the insolent wretch to the +wheel; hurl him to Hades; its motion shall be perpetual.' + +'What am I to bind him with?' inquired Hercules. + +'The girdle of Venus,' replied the Thunderer. + +'What is all this?' inquired Juno, advancing, pale and agitated. + +'Come along; you shall see,' answered Jupiter. 'Follow me, follow me.' + +They all followed the leader, all the Gods, all the genii; in the midst, +the brawny husband of Hebe bearing Ixion aloft, bound to the fatal +wheel. They reached the terrace; they descended the sparkling steps of +lapis-lazuli. Hercules held his burthen on high, ready, at a nod, to +plunge the hapless but presumptuous mortal through space into Hades. The +heavenly group surrounded him, and peeped over the starry abyss. It was +a fine moral, and demonstrated the usual infelicity that attends unequal +connection. + +'Celestial despot!' said Ixion. + +In a moment all sounds were hushed, as they listened to the last words +of the unrivalled victim. Juno, in despair, leant upon the respective +arms of Venus and Minerva. + +'Celestial despot!' said Ixion, 'I defy the immortal ingenuity of thy +cruelty. My memory must be as eternal as thy torture: that will support +me.' + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Ixion In Heaven, by Benjamin Disraeli + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IXION IN HEAVEN *** + +***** This file should be named 20009-8.txt or 20009-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/0/0/0/20009/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + http://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. diff --git a/20009-8.zip b/20009-8.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..7ea1efa --- /dev/null +++ b/20009-8.zip diff --git a/20009-h.zip b/20009-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..24baf6a --- /dev/null +++ b/20009-h.zip diff --git a/20009-h/20009-h.htm b/20009-h/20009-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..20ad713 --- /dev/null +++ b/20009-h/20009-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1962 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en"> + <head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=UTF-8" /> + <title> + Ixion in Heaven, by Benjamin Disraeli + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; background:#faebd7; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} + pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 5%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Ixion In Heaven, by Benjamin Disraeli + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Ixion In Heaven + +Author: Benjamin Disraeli + +Release Date: December 3, 2006 [EBook #20009] +Last Updated: September 7, 2016 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IXION IN HEAVEN *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h1> + IXION IN HEAVEN + </h1> + <h2> + By Benjamin Disraeli + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + <i>ADVERTISEMENT</i> + + <i>‘IXION, King of Thessaly, famous for its horses, married + Dia, daughter of Deioneus, who, in consequence of his son- + in-law’s non-fulfilment of his engagements, stole away some + of the monarch’s steeds. Ixion concealed his resentment + under the mask of friendship. He invited his father-in-law + to a feast at Larissa, the capital of his kingdom; and when + Deioneus arrived according to his appointment, he threw him + into a pit which he had previously filled with burning + coals. This treachery so irritated the neighbouring princes, + that all of them refused to perform the usual ceremony, by + which a man was then purified of murder, and Ixion was + shunned and despised by all mankind. Jupiter had compassion + upon him, carried him to Heaven, and introduced him to the + Father of the Gods. Such a favour, which ought to have + awakened gratitude in Ixion, only served to inflame his bad + passions; he became enamoured of Juno, and attempted to + seduce her. Juno was willing to gratify the passion of + Ixion, though, according to others,’ &c.—Classical + Dictionary, art. ‘Ixion.‘</i> + </pre> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + Contents + </h2> + <table summary=""> + <tr> + <td> + <p> + <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> <big><b>IXION IN HEAVEN</b></big> </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_PART1"> PART I. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_PART2"> PART II. </a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + IXION IN HEAVEN + </h2> + <p> + <a name="link2H_PART1" id="link2H_PART1"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + PART I. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + <i>An Errant King</i> +</pre> + <p> + THE thunder groaned, the wind howled, the rain fell in hissing torrents, + impenetrable darkness covered the earth. A blue and forky flash darted a + momentary light over the landscape. A Doric temple rose in the centre of a + small and verdant plain, surrounded on all sides by green and hanging + woods. + </p> + <p> + ‘Jove is my only friend,’ exclaimed a wanderer, as he muffled himself up + in his mantle; ‘and were it not for the porch of his temple, this night, + methinks, would complete the work of my loving wife and my dutiful + subjects.’ + </p> + <p> + The thunder died away, the wind sank into silence, the rain ceased, and + the parting clouds exhibited the glittering crescent of the young moon. A + sonorous and majestic voice sounded from the skies:— + </p> + <p> + ‘Who art thou that hast no other friend than Jove?’ ‘One whom all mankind + unite in calling a wretch.’ ‘Art thou a philosopher?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘If philosophy be endurance. But for the rest, I was sometime a king, and + am now a scatterling.’ ‘How do they call thee? ‘Ixion of Thessaly.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Ixion of Thessaly! I thought he was a happy man. I heard that he was just + married.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Father of Gods and men! for I deem thee such, Thessaly is not Olympus. + Conjugal felicity is only the portion of the immortals!’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Hem! What! was Dia jealous, which is common; or false, which is commoner; + or both, which is commonest?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘It may be neither. We quarrelled about nothing. Where there is little + sympathy, or too much, the splitting of a straw is plot enough for a + domestic tragedy. I was careless, her friends stigmatised me as callous; + she cold, her friends styled her magnanimous. Public opinion was all on + her side, merely because I did not choose that the world should interfere + between me and my wife. Dia took the world’s advice upon every point, and + the world decided that she always acted rightly. However, life is life, + either in a palace or a cave. I am glad you ordered it to leave off + thundering.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘A cool dog this. And Dia left thee? ‘No; I left her.’ ‘What, craven?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Not exactly. The truth is——-’tis a long story. + </p> + <p> + I was over head and ears in debt.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Ah! that accounts for everything. Nothing so harassing as a want of + money! But what lucky fellows you mortals are with your <i>post-obits!</i> + We Immortals are deprived of this resource. I was obliged to get up a + rebellion against my father, because he kept me so short, and could not + die.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘You could have married for money. I did.’ ‘I had no opportunity, there + was so little female society in those days. When I came out, there were no + heiresses except the Parcae, confirmed old maids; and no very rich + dowager, except my grandmother, old Terra.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Just the thing; the older the better. However, I married Dia, the + daughter of Deioneus, with a prodigious portion; but after the ceremony + the old gentleman would not fulfil his part of the contract without my + giving up my stud. Can you conceive anything more unreasonable? I + smothered my resentment at the time; for the truth is, my tradesmen all + renewed my credit on the strength of the match, and so we went on very + well for a year; but at last they began to smell a rat, and grew + importunate. I entreated Dia to interfere; but she was a paragon of + daughters, and always took the side of her father. If she had only been + dutiful to her husband, she would have been a perfect woman. At last I + invited Deioneus to the Larissa races, with the intention of conciliating + him. The unprincipled old man bought the horse that I had backed, and by + which I intended to have redeemed my fortunes, and withdrew it. My book + was ruined. I dissembled my rage. I dug a pit in our garden, and filled it + with burning coals. As my father-in-law and myself were taking a stroll + after dinner, the worthy Deioneus fell in, merely by accident. Dia + proclaimed me the murderer of her father, and, as a satisfaction to her + wounded feelings, earnestly requested her subjects to decapitate her + husband. She certainly was the best of daughters. There was no + withstanding public opinion, an infuriated rabble, and a magnanimous wife + at the same time. They surrounded my palace: I cut my way through the + greasy-capped multitude, sword in hand, and gained a neighbouring Court, + where I solicited my brother princes to purify me from the supposed + murder. If I had only murdered a subject, they would have supported me + against the people; but Deioneus being a crowned head, like themselves, + they declared they would not countenance so immoral a being as his + son-in-law. And so, at length, after much wandering, and shunned by all my + species, I am here, Jove, in much higher society than I ever expected to + mingle.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Well, thou art a frank dog, and in a sufficiently severe scrape. The Gods + must have pity on those for whom men have none. It is evident that Earth + is too hot for thee at present, so I think thou hadst better come and stay + a few weeks with us in Heaven.’ ‘Take my thanks for hecatombs, great Jove. + Thou art, indeed, a God!’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I hardly know whether our life will suit you. We dine at sunset; for + Apollo is so much engaged that he cannot join us sooner, and no dinner + goes off well without him. In the morning you are your own master, and + must find amusement where you can. Diana will show you some tolerable + sport. Do you shoot?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘No arrow surer. Fear not for me, Ægiochus: I am always at home. But how + am I to get to you?’ ‘I will send Mercury; he is the best travelling + companion in the world. What ho! my Eagle!’ + </p> + <p> + The clouds joined, and darkness again fell over the earth. + </p> + <p> + ‘So! tread softly. Don’t be nervous. Are you sick?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘A little nausea; ‘tis nothing.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘The novelty of the motion. The best thing is a beefsteak. We will stop at + Taurus and take one.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘You have been a great traveller, Mercury?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I have seen the world.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Ah! a wondrous spectacle. I long to travel.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘The same thing over and over again. Little novelty and much change. I am + wearied with exertion, and if I could get a pension would retire.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘And yet travel brings wisdom.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘It cures us of care. Seeing much we feel little, and learn how very petty + are all those great affairs which cost us such anxiety.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I feel that already myself. Floating in this blue aether, what the devil + is my wife to me, and her dirty Earth! My persecuting enemies seem so many + pismires; and as for my debts, which have occasioned me so many brooding + moments, honour and infamy, credit and beggary, seem to me alike + ridiculous.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Your mind is opening, Ixion. You will soon be a man of the world. To the + left, and keep clear of that star.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Who lives there?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘The Fates know, not I. Some low people who are trying to shine into + notice. ‘Tis a parvenu planet, and only sprung into space within this + century. We do not visit them.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Poor devils! I feel hungry.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘All right. We shall get into Heaven by the first dinner bolt. You cannot + arrive at a strange house at a better moment. We shall just have time to + dress. I would not spoil my appetite by luncheon. Jupiter keeps a capital + cook.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I have heard of Nectar and Ambrosia.’ ‘Poh! nobody touches them. They are + regular old-fashioned celestial food, and merely put upon the side-table. + Nothing goes down in Heaven now but infernal cookery. We took our chef + from Proserpine.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Were you ever in Hell?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Several times. ‘Tis the fashion now among the Olympians to pass the + winter there.’ ‘Is this the season in Heaven?’ ‘Yes; you are lucky. + Olympus is quite full.’ ‘It was kind of Jupiter to invite me.’ ‘Ay! he has + his good points. And, no doubt, he has taken a liking to you, which is all + very well. But be upon your guard. He has no heart, and is as capricious + as he is tyrannical.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Gods cannot be more unkind to me than men have been.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘All those who have suffered think they have seen the worst. A great + mistake. However, you are now in the high road to preferment, so we will + not be dull. There are some good fellows enough amongst us. You will like + old Neptune.’ ‘Is he there now?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Yes, he generally passes his summer with us. There is little stirring in + the ocean at that season.’ ‘I am anxious to see Mars.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Oh! a brute, more a bully than a hero. Not at all in the best set. These + mustachioed gentry are by no means the rage at present in Olympus. The + women are all literary now, and Minerva has quite eclipsed Venus. Apollo + is our hero. You must read his last work.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I hate reading.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘So do I. I have no time, and seldom do anything in that way but glance at + a newspaper. Study and action will not combine.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I suppose I shall find the Goddesses very proud?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘You will find them as you find women below, of different dispositions + with the same object. Venus is a flirt; Minerva a prude, who fancies she + has a correct taste and a strong mind; and Juno a politician. As for the + rest, faint heart never won fair lady; take a friendly hint, and do not be + alarmed.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I fear nothing. My mind mounts with my fortunes. We are above the clouds. + They form beneath us a vast and snowy region, dim and irregular, as I have + sometimes seen them clustering upon the horizon’s ridge at sunset, like a + raging sea stilled by some sudden supernatural frost and frozen into form! + How bright the air above us, and how delicate its fragrant breath! I + scarcely breathe, and yet my pulses beat like my first youth. I hardly + feel my being. A splendour falls upon your presence. You seem, indeed, a + God! Am I so glorious? This, this is Heaven!’ + </p> + <p> + The travellers landed on a vast flight of sparkling steps of lapis-lazuli. + Ascending, they entered beautiful gardens; winding walks that yielded to + the feet, and accelerated your passage by their rebounding pressure; + fragrant shrubs covered with dazzling flowers, the fleeting tints of which + changed every moment; groups of tall trees, with strange birds of + brilliant and variegated plumage, singing and reposing in their sheeny + foliage, and fountains of perfumes. + </p> + <p> + Before them rose an illimitable and golden palace, with high spreading + domes of pearl, and long windows of crystal. Around the huge portal of + ruby was ranged a company of winged genii, who smiled on Mercury as he + passed them with his charge. + </p> + <p> + ‘The Father of Gods and men is dressing,’ said the son of Maia. ‘I shall + attend his toilet and inform him of your arrival. These are your rooms. + Dinner will be ready in half an hour. I will call for you as I go down. + You can be formally presented in the evening. At that time, inspired by + liqueurs and his matchless band of wind instruments, you will agree with + the world that Ægiochus is the most finished God in existence.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Now, Ixion, are you ready?’ ‘Even so. What says Jove?’ ‘He smiled, but + said nothing. He was trying on a new robe. By this time he is seated. + Hark! the thunder. Come on!’ + </p> + <p> + They entered a cupolaed hall. Seats of ivory and gold were ranged round a + circular table of cedar, inlaid with the campaigns against the Titans, in + silver exquisitely worked, a nuptial present of Vulcan. The service of + gold plate threw all the ideas of the King of Thessaly as to royal + magnificence into the darkest shade. The enormous plateau represented the + constellations. Ixion viewed the Father of Gods and men with great + interest, who, however, did not notice him. He acknowledged the majesty of + that countenance whose nod shook Olympus. Majestically robust and + luxuriantly lusty, his tapering waist was evidently immortal, for it + defied Time, and his splendid auburn curls, parted on his forehead with + celestial precision, descended over cheeks glowing with the purple + radiancy of perpetual manhood. + </p> + <p> + The haughty Juno was seated on his left hand and Ceres on his right. For + the rest of the company there was Neptune, Latona, Minerva, and Apollo, + and when Mercury and Ixion had taken their places, one seat was still + vacant. + </p> + <p> + ‘Where is Diana?’ inquired Jupiter, with a frown. + </p> + <p> + ‘My sister is hunting,’ said Apollo. + </p> + <p> + ‘She is always too late for dinner,’ said Jupiter. ‘No habit is less + Goddess-like.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Godlike pursuits cannot be expected to induce Goddess-like manners,’ said + Juno, with a sneer. + </p> + <p> + ‘I have no doubt Diana will be here directly,’ said Latona, mildly. + </p> + <p> + Jupiter seemed pacified, and at that instant the absent guest returned. + </p> + <p> + ‘Good sport, Di?’ inquired Neptune. + </p> + <p> + ‘Very fair, uncle. Mamma,’ continued the sister of Apollo, addressing + herself to Juno, whom she ever thus styled when she wished to conciliate + her, ‘I have brought you a new peacock.’ + </p> + <p> + Juno was fond of pets, and was conciliated by the present. + </p> + <p> + ‘Bacchus made a great noise about this wine, Mercury,’ said Jupiter,’ but + I think with little cause. What think you?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘It pleases me, but I am fatigued, and then all wine is agreeable.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘You have had a long journey,’ replied the Thunderer. ‘Ixion, I am glad to + see you in Heaven.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Your Majesty arrived to-day?’ inquired Minerva, to whom the King of + Thessaly sat next. + </p> + <p> + ‘Within this hour.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘You must leave off talking of Time now,’ said Minerva, with a severe + smile. ‘Pray is there anything new in Greece?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I have not been at all in society lately.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘No new edition of Homer? I admire him exceedingly.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘All about Greece interests me,’ said Apollo, who, although handsome, was + a somewhat melancholy lack-a-daisical looking personage, with his shirt + collar thrown open, and his long curls theatrically arranged. ‘All about + Greece interests me. I always consider Greece my peculiar property. My + best poems were written at Delphi. I travelled in Greece when I was young. + I envy mankind.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Indeed!’ said Ixion. + </p> + <p> + ‘Yes: they at least can look forward to a termination of the ennui of + existence, but for us Celestials there is no prospect. Say what they like, + immortality is a bore.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘You eat nothing, Apollo,’ said Ceres. + </p> + <p> + ‘Nor drink,’ said Neptune. + </p> + <p> + ‘To eat, to drink, what is it but to live; and what is life but death, if + death be that which all men deem it, a thing insufferable, and to be + shunned. I refresh myself now only with soda-water and biscuits. Ganymede, + bring some.’ + </p> + <p> + Now, although the <i>cuisine</i> of Olympus was considered perfect, the + forlorn poet had unfortunately fixed upon the only two articles which were + not comprised in its cellar or larder. In Heaven, there was neither + soda-water nor biscuits. A great confusion consequently ensued; but at + length the bard, whose love of fame was only equalled by his horror of + getting fat, consoled himself with a swan stuffed with truffles, and a + bottle of strong Tenedos wine. + </p> + <p> + ‘What do you think of Homer?’ inquired Minerva of Apollo. ‘Is he not + delightful?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘If you think so.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Nay, I am desirous of your opinion.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Then you should not have given me yours, for your taste is too fine for + me to dare to differ with it.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I have suspected, for some time, that you are rather a heretic’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Why, the truth is,’ replied Apollo, playing with his rings, ‘I do not + think much of Homer. Homer was not esteemed in his own age, and our + contemporaries are generally our best judges. The fact is, there are very + few people who are qualified to decide upon matters of taste. A certain + set, for certain reasons, resolve to cry up a certain writer, and the + great mass soon join in. All is cant. And the present admiration of Homer + is not less so. They say I have borrowed a great deal from him. The truth + is, I never read Homer since I was a child, and I thought of him then what + I think of him now, a writer of some wild irregular power, totally + deficient in taste. Depend upon it, our contemporaries are our best + judges, and his contemporaries decided that Homer was nothing. A great + poet cannot be kept down. Look at my case. Marsyas said of my first volume + that it was pretty good poetry for a God, and in answer I wrote a satire, + and flayed Marsyas alive. But what is poetry, and what is criticism, and + what is life? Air. And what is air? Do you know? I don’t. All is mystery, + and all is gloom, and ever and anon from out the clouds a star breaks + forth, and glitters, and that star is Poetry.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Splendid!’ exclaimed Minerva. + </p> + <p> + ‘I do not exactly understand you,’ said Neptune. + </p> + <p> + ‘Have you heard from Proserpine, lately?’ inquired Jupiter of Ceres. + </p> + <p> + ‘Yesterday,’ said the domestic mother. ‘They talk of soon joining us. But + Pluto is at present so busy, owing to the amazing quantity of wars going + on now, that I am almost afraid he will scarcely be able to accompany + her.’ + </p> + <p> + Juno exchanged a telegraphic nod with Ceres. The Goddesses rose, and + retired. + </p> + <p> + ‘Come, old boy,’ said Jupiter to Ixion, instantly throwing off all his + chivalric majesty, ‘I drink your welcome in a magnum of Maraschino. Damn + your poetry, Apollo, and, Mercury, give us one of your good stories.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Well! what do you think of him?’ asked Juno. + </p> + <p> + ‘He appears to have a fine mind,’ said Minerva. + </p> + <p> + ‘Poh! he has very fine eyes,’ said Juno. + </p> + <p> + ‘He seems a very nice, quiet young gentleman,’ said Ceres. + </p> + <p> + ‘I have no doubt he is very amiable,’ said Latona. + </p> + <p> + ‘He must have felt very strange,’ said Diana. + </p> + <p> + Hercules arrived with his bride Hebe; soon after the Graces dropped in, + the most delightful personages in the world for a <i>soiree</i>, so useful + and ready for anything. Afterwards came a few of the Muses, Thalia, + Melpomene, and Terpsichore, famous for a charade or a proverb. Jupiter + liked to be amused in the evening. Bacchus also came, but finding that the + Gods had not yet left their wine, retired to pay them a visit. + </p> + <p> + Ganymede announced coffee in the saloon of Juno. Jupiter was in superb + good humour. He was amused by his mortal guest. He had condescended to + tell one of his best stories in his best style, about Leda, not too + scandalous, but gay. + </p> + <p> + ‘Those were bright days,’ said Neptune. + </p> + <p> + ‘We can remember,’ said the Thunderer, with a twinkling eye. ‘These youths + have fallen upon duller times. There are no fine women now. Ixion, I drink + to the health of your wife.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘With all my heart, and may we never be nearer than we are at present.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Good! i’faith; Apollo, your arm. Now for the ladies. La, la, la, la! la, + la, la, la!’ + </p> + <p> + The Thunderer entered the saloon of Juno with that bow which no God could + rival; all rose, and the King of Heaven seated himself between Ceres and + Latona. The melancholy Apollo stood apart, and was soon carried off by + Minerva to an assembly at the house of Mnemosyne. Mercury chatted with the + Graces, and Bacchus with Diana. The three Muses favoured the company with + singing, and the Queen of Heaven approached Ixion. + </p> + <p> + ‘Does your Majesty dance?’ she haughtily inquired. + </p> + <p> + ‘On earth; I have few accomplishments even there, and none in Heaven.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘You have led a strange life! I have heard of your adventures.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘A king who has lost his crown may generally gain at least experience.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Your courage is firm.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I have felt too much to care for much. Yesterday I was a vagabond exposed + to every pitiless storm, and now I am the guest of Jove. While there is + life there is hope, and he who laughs at Destiny will gain Fortune. I + would go through the past again to enjoy the present, and feel that, after + all, I am my wife’s debtor, since, through her conduct, I can gaze upon + you.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘No great spectacle. If that be all. I wish you better fortune.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I desire no greater.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘You are moderate.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I am perhaps more unreasonable than you imagine.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Indeed!’ + </p> + <p> + Their eyes met; the dark orbs of the Thessalian did not quail before the + flashing vision of the Goddess. Juno grew pale. Juno turned away. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_PART2" id="link2H_PART2"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + PART II. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + <i>‘Others say it was only a cloud.’</i> + + <i>A Mortal Among the Gods.</i> +</pre> + <p> + MERCURY and Ganymede were each lolling on an opposite couch in the + antechamber of Olympus. + </p> + <p> + ‘It is wonderful,’ said the son of Maia, yawning. ‘It is incredible,’ + rejoined the cupbearer of Jove, stretching his legs. + </p> + <p> + ‘A miserable mortal!’ exclaimed the God, elevating his eyebrows. + </p> + <p> + ‘A vile Thessalian!’ said the beautiful Phrygian, shrugging his shoulders. + </p> + <p> + ‘Not three days back an outcast among his own wretched species!’ + </p> + <p> + ‘And now commanding everybody in Heaven.’ ‘He shall not command me, + though,’ said Mercury. + </p> + <p> + ‘Will he not?’ replied Ganymede. ‘Why, what do you think? only last night; + hark! here he comes.’ + </p> + <p> + The companions jumped up from their couches; a light laugh was heard. The + cedar portal was flung open, and Ixion lounged in, habited in a loose + morning robe, and kicking before him one of his slippers. ‘Ah!’ exclaimed + the King of Thessaly, ‘the very fellows I wanted to see! Ganymede, bring + me some nectar; and, Mercury, run and tell Jove that I shall not dine at + home to-day.’ + </p> + <p> + The messenger and the page exchanged looks of indignant consternation. + </p> + <p> + ‘Well! what are you waiting for?’ continued Ixion, looking round from the + mirror in which he was arranging his locks. The messenger and the page + disappeared. + </p> + <p> + ‘So! this is Heaven,’ exclaimed the husband of Dia, flinging himself upon + one of the couches; ‘and a very pleasant place too. These worthy Immortals + required their minds to be opened, and I trust I have effectually + performed the necessary operation. They wanted to keep me down with their + dull old-fashioned celestial airs, but I fancy I have given them change + for their talent. To make your way in Heaven you must command. These + exclusives sink under the audacious invention of an aspiring mind. Jove + himself is really a fine old fellow, with some notions too. I am a prime + favourite, and no one is greater authority with Ægiochus on all subjects, + from the character of the fair sex or the pedigree of a courser, down to + the cut of a robe or the flavour of a dish. Thanks, Ganymede,’ continued + the Thessalian, as he took the goblet from his returning attendant. + </p> + <p> + ‘I drink to your <i>bonnes fortunes</i>. Splendid! This nectar makes me + feel quite immortal. By-the-bye, I hear sweet sounds. Who is in the Hall + of Music?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘The Goddesses, royal sir, practise a new air of Euterpe, the words by + Apollo. ‘Tis pretty, and will doubtless be very popular, for it is all + about moonlight and the misery of existence.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I warrant it.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘You have a taste for poetry yourself?’ inquired Ganymede. + </p> + <p> + ‘Not the least,’ replied Ixion. + </p> + <p> + ‘Apollo,’ continued the heavenly page, ‘is a great genius, though Marsyas + said that he never would be a poet because he was a God, and had no heart. + But do you think, sir, that a poet does indeed need a heart?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I really cannot say. I know my wife always said I had a bad heart and + worse head; but what she meant, upon my honour I never could understand.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Minerva will ask you to write in her album.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Will she indeed! I am sorry to hear it, for I can scarcely scrawl my + signature. I should think that Jove himself cared little for all this + nonsense.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Jove loves an epigram. He does not esteem Apollo’s works at all. Jove is + of the classical school, and admires satire, provided there be no + allusions to Gods and kings.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Of course; I quite agree with him. I remember we had a confounded poet at + Larissa who proved my family lived before the deluge, and asked me for a + pension. I refused him, and then he wrote an epigram asserting that I + sprang from the veritable stones thrown by Deucalion and Pyrrha at the + re-peopling of the earth, and retained all the properties of my + ancestors.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Ha, ha! Hark! there’s a thunderbolt! I must run to Jove.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘And I will look in on the musicians. This way, I think?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Up the ruby staircase, turn to your right, down the amethyst gallery. + Farewell!’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Good-bye; a lively lad that!’ + </p> + <p> + The King of Thessaly entered the Hall of Music with its golden walls and + crystal dome. The Queen of Heaven was reclining in an easy chair, cutting + out peacocks in small sheets of note paper. Minerva was making a pencil + observation on a manuscript copy of the song: Apollo listened with + deference to her laudatory criticisms. Another divine dame, standing by + the side of Euterpe, who was seated by the harp, looked up as Ixion + entered. The wild liquid glance of her soft but radiant countenance + denoted the famed Goddess of Beauty. + </p> + <p> + Juno just acknowledged the entrance of Ixion by a slight and haughty + inclination of the head, and then resumed her employment. Minerva asked + him his opinion of her amendment, of which he greatly approved. Apollo + greeted him with a melancholy smile, and congratulated him on being + mortal. Venus complimented him on his visit to Olympus, and expressed the + pleasure that she experienced in making his acquaintance. + </p> + <p> + ‘What do you think of Heaven?’ inquired Venus, in a soft still voice, and + with a smile like summer lightning. + </p> + <p> + ‘I never found it so enchanting as at this moment,’ replied Ixion. + </p> + <p> + ‘A little dull? For myself, I pass my time chiefly at Cnidos: you must + come and visit me there. ‘Tis the most charming place in the world. ‘Tis + said, you know, that our onions are like other people’s roses. We will + take care of you, if your wife come.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘No fear of that. She always remains at home and piques herself on her + domestic virtues, which means pickling, and quarrelling with her husband.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Ah! I see you are a droll. Very good indeed. Well, for my part, I like a + watering-place existence. Cnidos, Paphos, Cythera; you will usually find + me at one of these places. I like the easy distraction of a career without + any visible result. At these fascinating spots your gloomy race, to whom, + by-the-bye, I am exceedingly partial, appear emancipated from the wearing + fetters of their regular, dull, orderly, methodical, moral, political, + toiling existence. I pride myself upon being the Goddess of + watering-places. You really must pay me a visit at Cnidos.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Such an invitation requires no repetition. And Cnidos is your favourite + spot?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Why, it was so; but of late it has become so inundated with invalid + Asiatics and valetudinarian Persians, that the simultaneous influx of the + handsome heroes who swarm in from the islands to look after their + daughters, scarcely compensates for the annoying presence of their yellow + faces and shaking limbs. No, I think, on the whole, Paphos is my + favourite.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I have heard of its magnificent luxury.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Oh! ‘tis lovely! Quite my idea of country life. Not a single tree! When + Cyprus is very hot, you run to Paphos for a sea-breeze, and are sure to + meet every one whose presence is in the least desirable. All the bores + remain behind, as if by instinct.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I remember when we married, we talked of passing the honeymoon at + Cythera, but Dia would have her waiting-maid and a bandbox stuffed between + us in the chariot, so I got sulky after the first stage, and returned by + myself.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘You were quite right. I hate bandboxes: they are always in the way. You + would have liked Cythera if you had been in the least in love. High rocks + and green knolls, bowery woods, winding walks, and delicious sunsets. I + have not been there much of late,’ continued the Goddess, looking somewhat + sad and serious, ‘since—but I will not talk sentiment to Ixion.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Do you think, then, I am insensible?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Yes.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Perhaps you are right. We mortals grow callous.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘So I have heard. How very odd!’ So saying, the Goddess glided away and + saluted Mars, who at that moment entered the hall. Ixion was presented to + the military hero, who looked fierce and bowed stiffly. The King of + Thessaly turned upon his heel. Minerva opened her album, and invited him + to inscribe a stanza. + </p> + <p> + ‘Goddess of Wisdom,’ replied the King, ‘unless you inspire me, the virgin + page must remain pure as thyself. I can scarcely sign a decree.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Is it Ixion of Thessaly who says this; one who has seen so much, and, if + I am not mistaken, has felt and thought so much? I can easily conceive why + such a mind may desire to veil its movements from the common herd, but + pray concede to Minerva the gratifying compliment of assuring her that she + is the exception for whom this rule has been established.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I seem to listen to the inspired music of an oracle. Give me a pen! + </p> + <p> + ‘Here is one, plucked from a sacred owl.’ ‘So! I write. There! Will it + do?’ Minerva read the inscription:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + <i>I HAVE SEEN THE WORLD, AND MORE THAN THE WORLD: + I HAVE STUDIED THE HEART OF MAN, + AND NOW I CONSORT WITH IMMORTALS. + THE FRUIT OF MY TREE OF KNOWLEDGE IS PLUCKED, + AND IT IS THIS, + ‘Adventures are to the Adventurous.’ + Written in the Album of Minerva, by + Ixion in Heaven.</i> +</pre> + <p> + ‘’Tis brief,’ said the Goddess, with a musing air, ‘but full of meaning. + You have a daring soul and pregnant mind.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I have dared much: what I may produce we have yet to see.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I must to Jove,’ said Minerva, ‘to council. We shall meet again. + Farewell, Ixion.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Farewell, Glaucopis.’ + </p> + <p> + The King of Thessaly stood away from the remaining guests, and leant with + folded arms and pensive brow against a wreathed column. Mars listened to + Venus with an air of deep devotion. Euterpe played an inspiring + accompaniment to their conversation. The Queen of Heaven seemed engrossed + in the creation of her paper peacocks. + </p> + <p> + Ixion advanced and seated himself on a couch near Juno. His manner was + divested of that reckless bearing and careless coolness by which it was in + general distinguished. He was, perhaps, even a little embarrassed. His + ready tongue deserted him. At length he spoke. + </p> + <p> + ‘Has your Majesty ever heard of the peacock of the Queen of Mesopotamia?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘No,’ replied Juno, with stately reserve; and then she added with an air + of indifferent curiosity, ‘Is it in any way remarkable?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Its breast is of silver, its wings of gold, its eyes of carbuncle, its + claws of amethyst.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘And its tail?’ eagerly inquired Juno. + </p> + <p> + ‘That is a secret,’ replied Ixion. ‘The tail is the most wonderful part of + all.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Oh! tell me, pray tell me!’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I forget.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘No, no, no; it is impossible!’ exclaimed the animated Juno. ‘Provoking + mortal!’ continued the Goddess. ‘Let me entreat you; tell me immediately.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘There is a reason which prevents me.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘What can it be? How very odd! What reason can it possibly be? Now tell + me; as a particular, a personal favour, I request you, do tell me.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘What! The tail or the reason? The tail is wonderful, but the reason is + much more so. I can only tell one. Now choose.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘What provoking things these human beings are! The tail is wonderful, but + the reason is much more so. Well then, the reason; no, the tail. Stop, + now, as a particular favour, pray tell me both. What can the tail be made + of and what can the reason be? I am literally dying of curiosity.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Your Majesty has cut out that peacock wrong,’ remarked Ixion. ‘It is more + like one of Minerva’s owls.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Who cares about paper peacocks, when the Queen of Mesopotamia has got + such a miracle!’ exclaimed Juno; and she tore the labours of the morning + to pieces, and threw away the fragments with vexation. ‘Now tell me + instantly; if you have the slightest regard for me, tell me instantly. + What was the tail made of?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘And you do not wish to hear the reason?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘That afterwards. Now! I am all ears.’ At this moment Ganymede entered, + and whispered the Goddess, who rose in evident vexation, and retired to + the presence of Jove. + </p> + <p> + The King of Thessaly quitted the Hall of Music. Moody, yet not + uninfluenced by a degree of wild excitement, he wandered forth into the + gardens of Olympus. He came to a beautiful green retreat surrounded by + enormous cedars, so vast that it seemed they must have been coeval with + the creation; so fresh and brilliant, you would have deemed them wet with + the dew of their first spring. The turf, softer than down, and exhaling, + as you pressed it, an exquisite perfume, invited him to recline himself + upon this natural couch. He threw himself upon the aromatic herbage, and + leaning on his arm, fell into a deep reverie. + </p> + <p> + Hours flew away; the sunshiny glades that opened in the distance had + softened into shade. + </p> + <p> + ‘Ixion, how do you do?’ inquired a voice, wild, sweet, and thrilling as a + bird. The King of Thessaly started and looked up with the distracted air + of a man roused from a dream, or from complacent meditation over some + strange, sweet secret. His cheek was flushed, his dark eyes flashed fire; + his brow trembled, his dishevelled hair played in the fitful breeze. The + King of Thessaly looked up, and beheld a most beautiful youth. + </p> + <p> + Apparently, he had attained about the age of puberty. His stature, + however, was rather tall for his age, but exquisitely moulded and + proportioned. Very fair, his somewhat round cheeks were tinted with a rich + but delicate glow, like the rose of twilight, and lighted by dimples that + twinkled like stars. His large and deep-blue eyes sparkled with + exultation, and an air of ill-suppressed mockery quivered round his + pouting lips. His light auburn hair, braided off his white forehead, + clustered in massy curls on each side of his face, and fell in sunny + torrents down his neck. And from the back of the beautiful youth there + fluttered forth two wings, the tremulous plumage of which seemed to have + been bathed in a sunset: so various, so radiant, and so novel were its + shifting and wondrous tints; purple, and crimson, and gold; streaks of + azure, dashes of orange and glossy black; now a single feather, whiter + than light, and sparkling like the frost, stars of emerald and carbuncle, + and then the prismatic blaze of an enormous brilliant! A quiver hung at + the side of the beautiful youth, and he leant upon a bow. + </p> + <p> + ‘Oh! God, for God thou must be!’ at length exclaimed Ixion. ‘Do I behold + the bright divinity of Love?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I am indeed Cupid,’ replied the youth; ‘and am curious to know what Ixion + is thinking about.’ ‘Thought is often bolder than speech.’ ‘Oracular, + though a mortal! You need not be afraid to trust me. My aid I am sure you + must need. Who ever was found in a reverie on the green turf, under the + shade of spreading trees, without requiring the assistance of Cupid? Come! + be frank, who is the heroine? Some love-sick nymph deserted on the far + earth; or worse, some treacherous mistress, whose frailty is more easily + forgotten than her charms? ‘Tis a miserable situation, no doubt. It cannot + be your wife?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Assuredly not,’ replied Ixion, with energy. + </p> + <p> + ‘Another man’s?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘No.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘What! an obdurate maiden?’ + </p> + <p> + Ixion shook his head. + </p> + <p> + ‘It must be a widow, then,’ continued Cupid. ‘Who ever heard before of + such a piece of work about a widow!’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Have pity upon me, dread Cupid!’ exclaimed the King of Thessaly, rising + suddenly from the ground, and falling on his knee before the God. ‘Thou + art the universal friend of man, and all nations alike throw their incense + on thy altars. Thy divine discrimination has not deceived thee. I <i>am</i> + in love; desperately, madly, fatally enamoured. The object of my passion + is neither my own wife nor another man’s. In spite of all they have said + and sworn, I am a moral member of society. She is neither a maid nor a + widow. She is———’ + </p> + <p> + ‘What? what?’ exclaimed the impatient deity. + </p> + <p> + ‘A Goddess!’ replied the King. + </p> + <p> + ‘Wheugh!’ whistled Cupid. ‘What! has my mischievous mother been indulging + you with an innocent flirtation?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Yes; but it produced no effect upon me.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘You have a stout heart, then. Perhaps you have been reading poetry with + Minerva, and are caught in one of her Platonic man-traps.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘She set one, but I broke away.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘You have a stout leg, then. But where are you, where are you? Is it Hebe? + It can hardly be Diana, she is so cold. Is it a Muse, or is it one of the + Graces?’ + </p> + <p> + Ixion again shook his head. + </p> + <p> + ‘Come, my dear fellow,’ said Cupid, quite in a confidential tone, ‘you + have told enough to make further reserve mere affectation. Ease your heart + at once, and if I can assist you, depend upon my exertions.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Beneficent God!’ exclaimed Ixion, ‘if I ever return to Larissa, the + brightest temple in Greece shall hail thee for its inspiring deity. I + address thee with all the confiding frankness of a devoted votary. Know, + then, the heroine of my reverie was no less a personage than the Queen of + Heaven herself!’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Juno! by all that is sacred!’ shouted Cupid. ‘I am here,’ responded a + voice of majestic melody. The stately form of the Queen of Heaven advanced + from a neighbouring bower. Ixion stood with his eyes fixed upon the + ground, with a throbbing heart and burning cheeks. Juno stood motionless, + pale, and astounded. The God of Love burst into excessive laughter. + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="ixion_page028 (102K)" src="images/ixion_page028.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="ixion_page028_label (12K)" src="images/ixion_page028_label.jpg" + width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + ‘A pretty pair!’ he exclaimed, fluttering between both, and laughing in + their faces. ‘Truly a pretty pair! Well! I see I am in your way. + Good-bye!’ And so saying, the God pulled a couple of arrows from his + quiver, and with the rapidity of lightning shot one in the respective + breasts of the Queen of Heaven and the King of Thessaly. + </p> + <p> + The amethystine twilight of Olympus died away. The stars blazed with tints + of every hue. Ixion and Juno returned to the palace. She leant upon his + arm; her eyes were fixed upon the ground; they were in sight of the + gorgeous pile, and yet she had not spoken. Ixion, too, was silent, and + gazed with abstraction upon the glowing sky. + </p> + <p> + Suddenly, when within a hundred yards of the portal, Juno stopped, and + looking up into the face of Ixion with an irresistible smile, she said, ‘I + am sure you cannot now refuse to tell me what the Queen of Mesopotamia’s + peacock’s tail was made of!’ + </p> + <p> + ‘It is impossible now,’ said Ixion. ‘Know, then, beautiful Goddess, that + the tail of the Queen of Mesopotamia’s peacock was made of some plumage + she had stolen from the wings of Cupid.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘And what was the reason that prevented you from telling me before?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Because, beautiful Juno, I am the most discreet of men, and respect the + secret of a lady, however trifling.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I am glad to hear that,’ replied Juno, and they re-entered the palace. + </p> + <p> + Mercury met Juno and Ixion in the gallery leading to the grand banqueting + hall. + </p> + <p> + ‘I was looking for you,’ said the God, shaking his head. ‘Jove is in a + sublime rage. Dinner has been ready this hour.’ + </p> + <p> + The King of Thessaly and the Queen of Heaven exchanged a glance and + entered the saloon. Jove looked up with a brow of thunder, but did not + condescend to send forth a single flash of anger. Jove looked up and Jove + looked down. All Olympus trembled as the Father of Gods and men resumed + his soup. The rest of the guests seemed nervous and reserved, except + Cupid, who said immediately to Juno, ‘Your Majesty has been detained?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I fell asleep in a bower reading Apollo’s last poem,’ replied Juno. ‘I am + lucky, however, in finding a companion in my negligence. Ixion, where have + you been?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Take a glass of nectar, Juno,’ said Cupid, with eyes twinkling with + mischief; ‘and perhaps Ixion will join us.’ + </p> + <p> + This was the most solemn banquet ever celebrated in Olympus. Everyone + seemed out of humour or out of spirits. Jupiter spoke only in + monosyllables of suppressed rage, that sounded like distant thunder. + Apollo whispered to Minerva. Mercury never opened his lips, but + occasionally exchanged significant glances with Ganymede. Mars + compensated, by his attentions to Venus, for his want of conversation. + Cupid employed himself in asking disagreeable questions. At length the + Goddesses retired. Mercury exerted himself to amuse Jove, but the + Thunderer scarcely deigned to smile at his best stories. Mars picked his + teeth, Apollo played with his rings, Ixion was buried in a profound + reverie. + </p> + <p> + It was a great relief to all when Ganymede summoned them to the presence + of their late companions. + </p> + <p> + ‘I have written a comment upon your inscription,’ said Minerva to Ixion, + ‘and am anxious for your opinion of it.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I am a wretched critic,’ said the King, breaking away from her. Juno + smiled upon him in the distance. + </p> + <p> + ‘Ixion,’ said Venus, as he passed by, ‘come and talk to me.’ + </p> + <p> + The bold Thessalian blushed, he stammered out an unmeaning excuse, he + quitted the astonished but good-natured Goddess, and seated himself by + Juno, and as he seated himself his moody brow seemed suddenly illumined + with brilliant light. + </p> + <p> + ‘Is it so?’ said Venus. + </p> + <p> + ‘Hem!’ said Minerva. + </p> + <p> + ‘Ha, ha!’ said Cupid. + </p> + <p> + Jupiter played piquette with Mercury. + </p> + <p> + ‘Everything goes wrong to-day,’ said the King of Heaven; ‘cards wretched, + and kept waiting for dinner, and by——-a mortal!’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Your Majesty must not be surprised,’ said the good-natured Mercury, with + whom Ixion was no favourite. ‘Your Majesty must not be very much surprised + at the conduct of this creature. Considering what he is, and where he is, + I am only astonished that his head is not more turned than it appears to + be. A man, a thing made of mud, and in Heaven! Only think, sire! Is it not + enough to inflame the brain of any child of clay? To be sure, keeping your + Majesty from dinner is little short of celestial high treason. I hardly + expected that, indeed. To order me about, to treat Ganymede as his own + lacquey, and, in short, to command the whole household; all this might be + expected from such a person in such a situation, but I confess I did think + he had some little respect left for your Majesty.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘And he does order you about, eh?’ inquired Jove. ‘I have the spades.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Oh! ‘tis quite ludicrous,’ responded the son of Maia. ‘Your Majesty would + not expect from me the offices that this upstart daily requires.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Eternal destiny! is’t possible? That is my trick. And Ganymede, too?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Oh! quite shocking, I assure you, sire,’ said the beautiful cupbearer, + leaning over the chair of Jove with all the easy insolence of a privileged + favourite. ‘Really, sire, if Ixion is to go on in the way he does, either + he or I must quit.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Is it possible?’ exclaimed Jupiter. ‘But I can believe anything of a man + who keeps me waiting for dinner. Two and three make five.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘It is Juno that encourages him so,’ said Ganymede. + </p> + <p> + ‘Does she encourage him?’ inquired Jove. + </p> + <p> + ‘Everybody notices it,’ protested Ganymede. + </p> + <p> + ‘It is indeed a little noticed,’ observed Mercury. + </p> + <p> + ‘What business has such a fellow to speak to Juno?’ exclaimed Jove. ‘A + mere mortal, a mere miserable mortal! You have the point. How I have been + deceived in this fellow! Who ever could have supposed that, after all my + generosity to him, he would ever have kept me waiting for dinner?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘He was walking with Juno,’ said Ganymede. ‘It was all a sham about their + having met by accident. Cupid saw them.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Ha!’ said Jupiter, turning pale; ‘you don’t say so! Repiqued, as I am a + God. That is mine. Where is the Queen?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Talking to Ixion, sire,’ said Mercury. ‘Oh, I beg your pardon, sire; I + did not know you meant the queen of diamonds.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Never mind. I am repiqued, and I have been kept waiting for dinner. + Accursed be this day! Is Ixion really talking to Juno? We will not endure + this.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Where is Juno?’ demanded Jupiter. + </p> + <p> + ‘I am sure I cannot say,’ said Venus, with a smile. + </p> + <p> + ‘I am sure I do not know,’ said Minerva, with a sneer. + </p> + <p> + ‘Where is Ixion?’ said Cupid, laughing outright. + </p> + <p> + ‘Mercury, Ganymede, find the Queen of Heaven instantly,’ thundered the + Father of Gods and men. + </p> + <p> + The celestial messenger and the heavenly page flew away out of different + doors. There was a terrible, an immortal silence. Sublime rage lowered on + the brow of Jove like a storm upon the mountain-top. Minerva seated + herself at the card-table and played at Patience. Venus and Cupid tittered + in the background. Shortly returned the envoys, Mercury looking solemn, + Ganymede malignant. + </p> + <p> + ‘Well?’ inquired Jove; and all Olympus trembled at the monosyllable. + </p> + <p> + Mercury shook his head. + </p> + <p> + ‘Her Majesty has been walking on the terrace with the King of Thessaly,’ + replied Ganymede. + </p> + <p> + ‘Where is she now, sir?’ demanded Jupiter. + </p> + <p> + Mercury shrugged his shoulders. + </p> + <p> + ‘Her Majesty is resting herself in the pavilion of Cupid, with the King of + Thessaly,’ replied Ganymede. + </p> + <p> + ‘Confusion!’ exclaimed the Father of Gods and men; and he rose and seized + a candle from the table, scattering the cards in all directions. Every one + present, Minerva and Venus, and Mars and Apollo, and Mercury and Ganymede, + and the Muses, and the Graces, and all the winged genii—each seized + a candle; rifling the chandeliers, each followed Jove. + </p> + <p> + ‘This way,’ said Mercury. + </p> + <p> + ‘This way,’ said Ganymede. + </p> + <p> + ‘This way, this way!’ echoed the celestial crowd. + </p> + <p> + ‘Mischief!’ cried Cupid; ‘I must save my victims.’ + </p> + <p> + They were all upon the terrace. The Father of Gods and men, though both in + a passion and a hurry, moved with dignity. It was, as customary in Heaven, + a clear and starry night; but this eve Diana was indisposed, or otherwise + engaged, and there was no moonlight. They were in sight of the pavilion. + </p> + <p> + ‘What are you?’ inquired Cupid of one of the genii, who accidentally + extinguished his candle. + </p> + <p> + ‘I am a cloud,’ answered the winged genius. + </p> + <p> + ‘A cloud! Just the thing. Now do me a shrewd turn, and Cupid is ever your + debtor. Fly, fly, pretty cloud, and encompass yon pavilion with your form. + Away! ask no questions; swift as my word.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I declare there is a fog,’ said Venus. + </p> + <p> + ‘An evening mist in Heaven!’ said Minerva. + </p> + <p> + ‘Where is Nox?’ said Jove. ‘Everything goes wrong. Who ever heard of a + mist in Heaven?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘My candle is out,’ said Apollo. + </p> + <p> + ‘And mine, too,’ said Mars. + </p> + <p> + ‘And mine, and mine, and mine,’ said Mercury and Ganymede, and the Muses + and the Graces. + </p> + <p> + ‘All the candles are out!’ said Cupid; ‘a regular fog. I cannot even see + the pavilion: it must be hereabouts, though,’ said the God to himself. + ‘So, so; I should be at home in my own pavilion, and am tolerably + accustomed to stealing about in the dark. There is a step; and here, + surely, is the lock. The door opens, but the cloud enters before me. Juno, + Juno,’ whispered the God of Love, ‘we are all here. Be contented to + escape, like many other innocent dames, with your reputation only under a + cloud: it will soon disperse; and lo! the heaven is clearing.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘It must have been the heat of our flambeaux,’ said Venus; ‘for see, the + mist is vanished; here is the pavilion.’ + </p> + <p> + Ganymede ran forward, and dashed open the door. Ixion was alone. + </p> + <p> + ‘Seize him!’ said Jove. + </p> + <p> + ‘Juno is not here,’ said Mercury, with an air of blended congratulation + and disappointment. + </p> + <p> + ‘Never mind,’ said Jove; ‘seize him! He kept me waiting for dinner.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Is this your hospitality, Ægiochus?’ exclaimed Ixion, in a tone of + bullying innocence. ‘I shall defend myself.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Seize him, seize him!’ exclaimed Jupiter. ‘What! do you all falter? Are + you afraid of a mortal?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘And a Thessalian?’ added Ganymede. + </p> + <p> + No one advanced. + </p> + <p> + ‘Send for Hercules,’ said Jove. + </p> + <p> + ‘I will fetch him in an instant,’ said Ganymede. + </p> + <p> + ‘I protest,’ said the King of Thessaly, ‘against this violation of the + most sacred rights.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘The marriage tie?’ said Mercury. + </p> + <p> + ‘The dinner-hour?’ said Jove. + </p> + <p> + ‘It is no use talking sentiment to Ixion,’ said Venus; ‘all mortals are + callous.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Adventures are to the adventurous,’ said Minerva. + </p> + <p> + ‘Here is Hercules! here is Hercules!’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Seize him!’ said Jove; ‘seize that man.’ + </p> + <p> + In vain the mortal struggled with the irresistible demigod. + </p> + <p> + ‘Shall I fetch your thunderbolt, Jove?’ inquired Ganymede. + </p> + <p> + ‘Anything short of eternal punishment is unworthy of a God,’ answered + Jupiter, with great dignity. ‘Apollo, bring me a wheel of your chariot.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘What shall I do to-morrow morning?’ inquired the God of Light. + </p> + <p> + ‘Order an eclipse,’ replied Jove. ‘Bind the insolent wretch to the wheel; + hurl him to Hades; its motion shall be perpetual.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘What am I to bind him with?’ inquired Hercules. + </p> + <p> + ‘The girdle of Venus,’ replied the Thunderer. + </p> + <p> + ‘What is all this?’ inquired Juno, advancing, pale and agitated. + </p> + <p> + ‘Come along; you shall see,’ answered Jupiter. ‘Follow me, follow me.’ + </p> + <p> + They all followed the leader, all the Gods, all the genii; in the midst, + the brawny husband of Hebe bearing Ixion aloft, bound to the fatal wheel. + They reached the terrace; they descended the sparkling steps of + lapis-lazuli. Hercules held his burthen on high, ready, at a nod, to + plunge the hapless but presumptuous mortal through space into Hades. The + heavenly group surrounded him, and peeped over the starry abyss. It was a + fine moral, and demonstrated the usual infelicity that attends unequal + connection. + </p> + <p> + ‘Celestial despot!’ said Ixion. + </p> + <p> + In a moment all sounds were hushed, as they listened to the last words of + the unrivalled victim. Juno, in despair, leant upon the respective arms of + Venus and Minerva. + </p> + <p> + ‘Celestial despot!’ said Ixion, ‘I defy the immortal ingenuity of thy + cruelty. My memory must be as eternal as thy torture: that will support + me.’ + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Ixion In Heaven, by Benjamin Disraeli + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IXION IN HEAVEN *** + +***** This file should be named 20009-h.htm or 20009-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/0/0/0/20009/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Ixion In Heaven + +Author: Benjamin Disraeli + +Release Date: December 3, 2006 [EBook #20009] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IXION IN HEAVEN *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +IXION IN HEAVEN + +By Benjamin Disraeli + + + + + _ADVERTISEMENT_ + + _'IXION, King of Thessaly, famous for its horses, married + Dia, daughter of Deioneus, who, in consequence of his son- + in-law's non-fulfilment of his engagements, stole away some + of the monarch's steeds. Ixion concealed his resentment + under the mask of friendship. He invited his father-in-law + to a feast at Larissa, the capital of his kingdom; and when + Deioneus arrived according to his appointment, he threw him + into a pit which he had previously filled with burning + coals. This treachery so irritated the neighbouring princes, + that all of them refused to perform the usual ceremony, by + which a man was then purified of murder, and Ixion was + shunned and despised by all mankind. Jupiter had compassion + upon him, carried him to Heaven, and introduced him to the + Father of the Gods. Such a favour, which ought to have + awakened gratitude in Ixion, only served to inflame his bad + passions; he became enamoured of Juno, and attempted to + seduce her. Juno was willing to gratify the passion of + Ixion, though, according to others,' &c.--Classical + Dictionary, art. 'Ixion.'_ + + + + +IXION IN HEAVEN + + + + +PART I. + + _An Errant King_ + +THE thunder groaned, the wind howled, the rain fell in hissing torrents, +impenetrable darkness covered the earth. A blue and forky flash darted a +momentary light over the landscape. A Doric temple rose in the centre of +a small and verdant plain, surrounded on all sides by green and hanging +woods. + +'Jove is my only friend,' exclaimed a wanderer, as he muffled himself up +in his mantle; 'and were it not for the porch of his temple, this night, +methinks, would complete the work of my loving wife and my dutiful +subjects.' + +The thunder died away, the wind sank into silence, the rain ceased, and +the parting clouds exhibited the glittering crescent of the young moon. +A sonorous and majestic voice sounded from the skies:-- + +'Who art thou that hast no other friend than Jove?' 'One whom all +mankind unite in calling a wretch.' 'Art thou a philosopher?' + +'If philosophy be endurance. But for the rest, I was sometime a king, +and am now a scatterling.' 'How do they call thee? 'Ixion of Thessaly.' + +'Ixion of Thessaly! I thought he was a happy man. I heard that he was +just married.' + +'Father of Gods and men! for I deem thee such, Thessaly is not Olympus. +Conjugal felicity is only the portion of the immortals!' + +'Hem! What! was Dia jealous, which is common; or false, which is +commoner; or both, which is commonest?' + +'It may be neither. We quarrelled about nothing. Where there is little +sympathy, or too much, the splitting of a straw is plot enough for a +domestic tragedy. I was careless, her friends stigmatised me as callous; +she cold, her friends styled her magnanimous. Public opinion was all +on her side, merely because I did not choose that the world should +interfere between me and my wife. Dia took the world's advice upon every +point, and the world decided that she always acted rightly. However, +life is life, either in a palace or a cave. I am glad you ordered it to +leave off thundering.' + +'A cool dog this. And Dia left thee? 'No; I left her.' 'What, craven?' + +'Not exactly. The truth is-----'tis a long story. + +I was over head and ears in debt.' + +'Ah! that accounts for everything. Nothing so harassing as a want of +money! But what lucky fellows you mortals are with your _post-obits!_ +We Immortals are deprived of this resource. I was obliged to get up a +rebellion against my father, because he kept me so short, and could not +die.' + +'You could have married for money. I did.' 'I had no opportunity, there +was so little female society in those days. When I came out, there were +no heiresses except the Parcae, confirmed old maids; and no very rich +dowager, except my grandmother, old Terra.' + +'Just the thing; the older the better. However, I married Dia, the +daughter of Deioneus, with a prodigious portion; but after the ceremony +the old gentleman would not fulfil his part of the contract without +my giving up my stud. Can you conceive anything more unreasonable? I +smothered my resentment at the time; for the truth is, my tradesmen all +renewed my credit on the strength of the match, and so we went on +very well for a year; but at last they began to smell a rat, and grew +importunate. I entreated Dia to interfere; but she was a paragon of +daughters, and always took the side of her father. If she had only been +dutiful to her husband, she would have been a perfect woman. At last +I invited Deioneus to the Larissa races, with the intention of +conciliating him. The unprincipled old man bought the horse that I +had backed, and by which I intended to have redeemed my fortunes, and +withdrew it. My book was ruined. I dissembled my rage. I dug a pit in +our garden, and filled it with burning coals. As my father-in-law and +myself were taking a stroll after dinner, the worthy Deioneus fell in, +merely by accident. Dia proclaimed me the murderer of her father, and, +as a satisfaction to her wounded feelings, earnestly requested her +subjects to decapitate her husband. She certainly was the best of +daughters. There was no withstanding public opinion, an infuriated +rabble, and a magnanimous wife at the same time. They surrounded my +palace: I cut my way through the greasy-capped multitude, sword in hand, +and gained a neighbouring Court, where I solicited my brother princes +to purify me from the supposed murder. If I had only murdered a subject, +they would have supported me against the people; but Deioneus being a +crowned head, like themselves, they declared they would not countenance +so immoral a being as his son-in-law. And so, at length, after much +wandering, and shunned by all my species, I am here, Jove, in much +higher society than I ever expected to mingle.' + +'Well, thou art a frank dog, and in a sufficiently severe scrape. The +Gods must have pity on those for whom men have none. It is evident that +Earth is too hot for thee at present, so I think thou hadst better come +and stay a few weeks with us in Heaven.' 'Take my thanks for hecatombs, +great Jove. Thou art, indeed, a God!' + +'I hardly know whether our life will suit you. We dine at sunset; for +Apollo is so much engaged that he cannot join us sooner, and no dinner +goes off well without him. In the morning you are your own master, and +must find amusement where you can. Diana will show you some tolerable +sport. Do you shoot?' + +'No arrow surer. Fear not for me, AEgiochus: I am always at home. But +how am I to get to you?' 'I will send Mercury; he is the best travelling +companion in the world. What ho! my Eagle!' + +The clouds joined, and darkness again fell over the earth. + +'So! tread softly. Don't be nervous. Are you sick?' + +'A little nausea; 'tis nothing.' + +'The novelty of the motion. The best thing is a beefsteak. We will stop +at Taurus and take one.' + +'You have been a great traveller, Mercury?' + +'I have seen the world.' + +'Ah! a wondrous spectacle. I long to travel.' + +'The same thing over and over again. Little novelty and much change. I +am wearied with exertion, and if I could get a pension would retire.' + +'And yet travel brings wisdom.' + +'It cures us of care. Seeing much we feel little, and learn how very +petty are all those great affairs which cost us such anxiety.' + +'I feel that already myself. Floating in this blue aether, what the +devil is my wife to me, and her dirty Earth! My persecuting enemies seem +so many pismires; and as for my debts, which have occasioned me so many +brooding moments, honour and infamy, credit and beggary, seem to me +alike ridiculous.' + +'Your mind is opening, Ixion. You will soon be a man of the world. To +the left, and keep clear of that star.' + +'Who lives there?' + +'The Fates know, not I. Some low people who are trying to shine into +notice. 'Tis a parvenu planet, and only sprung into space within this +century. We do not visit them.' + +'Poor devils! I feel hungry.' + +'All right. We shall get into Heaven by the first dinner bolt. You +cannot arrive at a strange house at a better moment. We shall just have +time to dress. I would not spoil my appetite by luncheon. Jupiter keeps +a capital cook.' + +'I have heard of Nectar and Ambrosia.' 'Poh! nobody touches them. +They are regular old-fashioned celestial food, and merely put upon the +side-table. Nothing goes down in Heaven now but infernal cookery. We +took our chef from Proserpine.' + +'Were you ever in Hell?' + +'Several times. 'Tis the fashion now among the Olympians to pass the +winter there.' 'Is this the season in Heaven?' 'Yes; you are lucky. +Olympus is quite full.' 'It was kind of Jupiter to invite me.' 'Ay! he +has his good points. And, no doubt, he has taken a liking to you, which +is all very well. But be upon your guard. He has no heart, and is as +capricious as he is tyrannical.' + +'Gods cannot be more unkind to me than men have been.' + +'All those who have suffered think they have seen the worst. A great +mistake. However, you are now in the high road to preferment, so we will +not be dull. There are some good fellows enough amongst us. You will +like old Neptune.' 'Is he there now?' + +'Yes, he generally passes his summer with us. There is little stirring +in the ocean at that season.' 'I am anxious to see Mars.' + +'Oh! a brute, more a bully than a hero. Not at all in the best set. +These mustachioed gentry are by no means the rage at present in Olympus. +The women are all literary now, and Minerva has quite eclipsed Venus. +Apollo is our hero. You must read his last work.' + +'I hate reading.' + +'So do I. I have no time, and seldom do anything in that way but glance +at a newspaper. Study and action will not combine.' + +'I suppose I shall find the Goddesses very proud?' + +'You will find them as you find women below, of different dispositions +with the same object. Venus is a flirt; Minerva a prude, who fancies she +has a correct taste and a strong mind; and Juno a politician. As for the +rest, faint heart never won fair lady; take a friendly hint, and do not +be alarmed.' + +'I fear nothing. My mind mounts with my fortunes. We are above the +clouds. They form beneath us a vast and snowy region, dim and irregular, +as I have sometimes seen them clustering upon the horizon's ridge at +sunset, like a raging sea stilled by some sudden supernatural frost +and frozen into form! How bright the air above us, and how delicate +its fragrant breath! I scarcely breathe, and yet my pulses beat like +my first youth. I hardly feel my being. A splendour falls upon your +presence. You seem, indeed, a God! Am I so glorious? This, this is +Heaven!' + +The travellers landed on a vast flight of sparkling steps of +lapis-lazuli. Ascending, they entered beautiful gardens; winding +walks that yielded to the feet, and accelerated your passage by their +rebounding pressure; fragrant shrubs covered with dazzling flowers, the +fleeting tints of which changed every moment; groups of tall trees, with +strange birds of brilliant and variegated plumage, singing and reposing +in their sheeny foliage, and fountains of perfumes. + +Before them rose an illimitable and golden palace, with high spreading +domes of pearl, and long windows of crystal. Around the huge portal of +ruby was ranged a company of winged genii, who smiled on Mercury as he +passed them with his charge. + +'The Father of Gods and men is dressing,' said the son of Maia. 'I shall +attend his toilet and inform him of your arrival. These are your rooms. +Dinner will be ready in half an hour. I will call for you as I go down. +You can be formally presented in the evening. At that time, inspired by +liqueurs and his matchless band of wind instruments, you will agree with +the world that AEgiochus is the most finished God in existence.' + +'Now, Ixion, are you ready?' 'Even so. What says Jove?' 'He smiled, but +said nothing. He was trying on a new robe. By this time he is seated. +Hark! the thunder. Come on!' + +They entered a cupolaed hall. Seats of ivory and gold were ranged round +a circular table of cedar, inlaid with the campaigns against the Titans, +in silver exquisitely worked, a nuptial present of Vulcan. The service +of gold plate threw all the ideas of the King of Thessaly as to royal +magnificence into the darkest shade. The enormous plateau represented +the constellations. Ixion viewed the Father of Gods and men with great +interest, who, however, did not notice him. He acknowledged the majesty +of that countenance whose nod shook Olympus. Majestically robust and +luxuriantly lusty, his tapering waist was evidently immortal, for it +defied Time, and his splendid auburn curls, parted on his forehead +with celestial precision, descended over cheeks glowing with the purple +radiancy of perpetual manhood. + +The haughty Juno was seated on his left hand and Ceres on his right. For +the rest of the company there was Neptune, Latona, Minerva, and Apollo, +and when Mercury and Ixion had taken their places, one seat was still +vacant. + +'Where is Diana?' inquired Jupiter, with a frown. + +'My sister is hunting,' said Apollo. + +'She is always too late for dinner,' said Jupiter. 'No habit is less +Goddess-like.' + +'Godlike pursuits cannot be expected to induce Goddess-like manners,' +said Juno, with a sneer. + +'I have no doubt Diana will be here directly,' said Latona, mildly. + +Jupiter seemed pacified, and at that instant the absent guest returned. + +'Good sport, Di?' inquired Neptune. + +'Very fair, uncle. Mamma,' continued the sister of Apollo, addressing +herself to Juno, whom she ever thus styled when she wished to conciliate +her, 'I have brought you a new peacock.' + +Juno was fond of pets, and was conciliated by the present. + +'Bacchus made a great noise about this wine, Mercury,' said Jupiter,' +but I think with little cause. What think you?' + +'It pleases me, but I am fatigued, and then all wine is agreeable.' + +'You have had a long journey,' replied the Thunderer. 'Ixion, I am glad +to see you in Heaven.' + +'Your Majesty arrived to-day?' inquired Minerva, to whom the King of +Thessaly sat next. + +'Within this hour.' + +'You must leave off talking of Time now,' said Minerva, with a severe +smile. 'Pray is there anything new in Greece?' + +'I have not been at all in society lately.' + +'No new edition of Homer? I admire him exceedingly.' + +'All about Greece interests me,' said Apollo, who, although handsome, +was a somewhat melancholy lack-a-daisical looking personage, with his +shirt collar thrown open, and his long curls theatrically arranged. +'All about Greece interests me. I always consider Greece my peculiar +property. My best poems were written at Delphi. I travelled in Greece +when I was young. I envy mankind.' + +'Indeed!' said Ixion. + +'Yes: they at least can look forward to a termination of the ennui of +existence, but for us Celestials there is no prospect. Say what they +like, immortality is a bore.' + +'You eat nothing, Apollo,' said Ceres. + +'Nor drink,' said Neptune. + +'To eat, to drink, what is it but to live; and what is life but death, +if death be that which all men deem it, a thing insufferable, and to +be shunned. I refresh myself now only with soda-water and biscuits. +Ganymede, bring some.' + +Now, although the _cuisine_ of Olympus was considered perfect, the +forlorn poet had unfortunately fixed upon the only two articles which +were not comprised in its cellar or larder. In Heaven, there was neither +soda-water nor biscuits. A great confusion consequently ensued; but at +length the bard, whose love of fame was only equalled by his horror of +getting fat, consoled himself with a swan stuffed with truffles, and a +bottle of strong Tenedos wine. + +'What do you think of Homer?' inquired Minerva of Apollo. 'Is he not +delightful?' + +'If you think so.' + +'Nay, I am desirous of your opinion.' + +'Then you should not have given me yours, for your taste is too fine for +me to dare to differ with it.' + +'I have suspected, for some time, that you are rather a heretic' + +'Why, the truth is,' replied Apollo, playing with his rings, 'I do not +think much of Homer. Homer was not esteemed in his own age, and our +contemporaries are generally our best judges. The fact is, there are +very few people who are qualified to decide upon matters of taste. A +certain set, for certain reasons, resolve to cry up a certain writer, +and the great mass soon join in. All is cant. And the present admiration +of Homer is not less so. They say I have borrowed a great deal from him. +The truth is, I never read Homer since I was a child, and I thought of +him then what I think of him now, a writer of some wild irregular power, +totally deficient in taste. Depend upon it, our contemporaries are our +best judges, and his contemporaries decided that Homer was nothing. +A great poet cannot be kept down. Look at my case. Marsyas said of my +first volume that it was pretty good poetry for a God, and in answer I +wrote a satire, and flayed Marsyas alive. But what is poetry, and what +is criticism, and what is life? Air. And what is air? Do you know? I +don't. All is mystery, and all is gloom, and ever and anon from out the +clouds a star breaks forth, and glitters, and that star is Poetry.' + +'Splendid!' exclaimed Minerva. + +'I do not exactly understand you,' said Neptune. + +'Have you heard from Proserpine, lately?' inquired Jupiter of Ceres. + +'Yesterday,' said the domestic mother. 'They talk of soon joining us. +But Pluto is at present so busy, owing to the amazing quantity of +wars going on now, that I am almost afraid he will scarcely be able to +accompany her.' + +Juno exchanged a telegraphic nod with Ceres. The Goddesses rose, and +retired. + +'Come, old boy,' said Jupiter to Ixion, instantly throwing off all his +chivalric majesty, 'I drink your welcome in a magnum of Maraschino. +Damn your poetry, Apollo, and, Mercury, give us one of your good +stories.' + +'Well! what do you think of him?' asked Juno. + +'He appears to have a fine mind,' said Minerva. + +'Poh! he has very fine eyes,' said Juno. + +'He seems a very nice, quiet young gentleman,' said Ceres. + +'I have no doubt he is very amiable,' said Latona. + +'He must have felt very strange,' said Diana. + +Hercules arrived with his bride Hebe; soon after the Graces dropped in, +the most delightful personages in the world for a _soiree_, so useful +and ready for anything. Afterwards came a few of the Muses, Thalia, +Melpomene, and Terpsichore, famous for a charade or a proverb. Jupiter +liked to be amused in the evening. Bacchus also came, but finding that +the Gods had not yet left their wine, retired to pay them a visit. + +Ganymede announced coffee in the saloon of Juno. Jupiter was in superb +good humour. He was amused by his mortal guest. He had condescended +to tell one of his best stories in his best style, about Leda, not too +scandalous, but gay. + +'Those were bright days,' said Neptune. + +'We can remember,' said the Thunderer, with a twinkling eye. 'These +youths have fallen upon duller times. There are no fine women now. +Ixion, I drink to the health of your wife.' + +'With all my heart, and may we never be nearer than we are at present.' + +'Good! i'faith; Apollo, your arm. Now for the ladies. La, la, la, la! +la, la, la, la!' + +The Thunderer entered the saloon of Juno with that bow which no God +could rival; all rose, and the King of Heaven seated himself between +Ceres and Latona. The melancholy Apollo stood apart, and was soon +carried off by Minerva to an assembly at the house of Mnemosyne. +Mercury chatted with the Graces, and Bacchus with Diana. The three Muses +favoured the company with singing, and the Queen of Heaven approached +Ixion. + +'Does your Majesty dance?' she haughtily inquired. + +'On earth; I have few accomplishments even there, and none in Heaven.' + +'You have led a strange life! I have heard of your adventures.' + +'A king who has lost his crown may generally gain at least experience.' + +'Your courage is firm.' + +'I have felt too much to care for much. Yesterday I was a vagabond +exposed to every pitiless storm, and now I am the guest of Jove. While +there is life there is hope, and he who laughs at Destiny will gain +Fortune. I would go through the past again to enjoy the present, and +feel that, after all, I am my wife's debtor, since, through her conduct, +I can gaze upon you.' + +'No great spectacle. If that be all. I wish you better fortune.' + +'I desire no greater.' + +'You are moderate.' + +'I am perhaps more unreasonable than you imagine.' + +'Indeed!' + +Their eyes met; the dark orbs of the Thessalian did not quail before the +flashing vision of the Goddess. Juno grew pale. Juno turned away. + + + + +PART II. + + _'Others say it was only a cloud.'_ + + _A Mortal Among the Gods._ + +MERCURY and Ganymede were each lolling on an opposite couch in the +antechamber of Olympus. + +'It is wonderful,' said the son of Maia, yawning. 'It is incredible,' +rejoined the cupbearer of Jove, stretching his legs. + +'A miserable mortal!' exclaimed the God, elevating his eyebrows. + +'A vile Thessalian!' said the beautiful Phrygian, shrugging his +shoulders. + +'Not three days back an outcast among his own wretched species!' + +'And now commanding everybody in Heaven.' 'He shall not command me, +though,' said Mercury. + +'Will he not?' replied Ganymede. 'Why, what do you think? only last +night; hark! here he comes.' + +The companions jumped up from their couches; a light laugh was heard. +The cedar portal was flung open, and Ixion lounged in, habited in a +loose morning robe, and kicking before him one of his slippers. 'Ah!' +exclaimed the King of Thessaly, 'the very fellows I wanted to see! +Ganymede, bring me some nectar; and, Mercury, run and tell Jove that I +shall not dine at home to-day.' + +The messenger and the page exchanged looks of indignant consternation. + +'Well! what are you waiting for?' continued Ixion, looking round from +the mirror in which he was arranging his locks. The messenger and the +page disappeared. + +'So! this is Heaven,' exclaimed the husband of Dia, flinging himself +upon one of the couches; 'and a very pleasant place too. These worthy +Immortals required their minds to be opened, and I trust I have +effectually performed the necessary operation. They wanted to keep me +down with their dull old-fashioned celestial airs, but I fancy I have +given them change for their talent. To make your way in Heaven you +must command. These exclusives sink under the audacious invention of +an aspiring mind. Jove himself is really a fine old fellow, with some +notions too. I am a prime favourite, and no one is greater authority +with AEgiochus on all subjects, from the character of the fair sex or +the pedigree of a courser, down to the cut of a robe or the flavour of a +dish. Thanks, Ganymede,' continued the Thessalian, as he took the goblet +from his returning attendant. + +'I drink to your _bonnes fortunes_. Splendid! This nectar makes me feel +quite immortal. By-the-bye, I hear sweet sounds. Who is in the Hall of +Music?' + +'The Goddesses, royal sir, practise a new air of Euterpe, the words by +Apollo. 'Tis pretty, and will doubtless be very popular, for it is all +about moonlight and the misery of existence.' + +'I warrant it.' + +'You have a taste for poetry yourself?' inquired Ganymede. + +'Not the least,' replied Ixion. + +'Apollo,' continued the heavenly page, 'is a great genius, though +Marsyas said that he never would be a poet because he was a God, and had +no heart. But do you think, sir, that a poet does indeed need a heart?' + +'I really cannot say. I know my wife always said I had a bad heart +and worse head; but what she meant, upon my honour I never could +understand.' + +'Minerva will ask you to write in her album.' + +'Will she indeed! I am sorry to hear it, for I can scarcely scrawl my +signature. I should think that Jove himself cared little for all this +nonsense.' + +'Jove loves an epigram. He does not esteem Apollo's works at all. Jove +is of the classical school, and admires satire, provided there be no +allusions to Gods and kings.' + +'Of course; I quite agree with him. I remember we had a confounded poet +at Larissa who proved my family lived before the deluge, and asked me +for a pension. I refused him, and then he wrote an epigram asserting +that I sprang from the veritable stones thrown by Deucalion and Pyrrha +at the re-peopling of the earth, and retained all the properties of my +ancestors.' + +'Ha, ha! Hark! there's a thunderbolt! I must run to Jove.' + +'And I will look in on the musicians. This way, I think?' + +'Up the ruby staircase, turn to your right, down the amethyst gallery. +Farewell!' + +'Good-bye; a lively lad that!' + +The King of Thessaly entered the Hall of Music with its golden walls +and crystal dome. The Queen of Heaven was reclining in an easy chair, +cutting out peacocks in small sheets of note paper. Minerva was making +a pencil observation on a manuscript copy of the song: Apollo listened +with deference to her laudatory criticisms. Another divine dame, +standing by the side of Euterpe, who was seated by the harp, looked +up as Ixion entered. The wild liquid glance of her soft but radiant +countenance denoted the famed Goddess of Beauty. + +Juno just acknowledged the entrance of Ixion by a slight and haughty +inclination of the head, and then resumed her employment. Minerva asked +him his opinion of her amendment, of which he greatly approved. Apollo +greeted him with a melancholy smile, and congratulated him on being +mortal. Venus complimented him on his visit to Olympus, and expressed +the pleasure that she experienced in making his acquaintance. + +'What do you think of Heaven?' inquired Venus, in a soft still voice, +and with a smile like summer lightning. + +'I never found it so enchanting as at this moment,' replied Ixion. + +'A little dull? For myself, I pass my time chiefly at Cnidos: you must +come and visit me there. 'Tis the most charming place in the world. 'Tis +said, you know, that our onions are like other people's roses. We will +take care of you, if your wife come.' + +'No fear of that. She always remains at home and piques herself on +her domestic virtues, which means pickling, and quarrelling with her +husband.' + +'Ah! I see you are a droll. Very good indeed. Well, for my part, I like +a watering-place existence. Cnidos, Paphos, Cythera; you will usually +find me at one of these places. I like the easy distraction of a career +without any visible result. At these fascinating spots your gloomy race, +to whom, by-the-bye, I am exceedingly partial, appear emancipated from +the wearing fetters of their regular, dull, orderly, methodical, moral, +political, toiling existence. I pride myself upon being the Goddess of +watering-places. You really must pay me a visit at Cnidos.' + +'Such an invitation requires no repetition. And Cnidos is your favourite +spot?' + +'Why, it was so; but of late it has become so inundated with invalid +Asiatics and valetudinarian Persians, that the simultaneous influx of +the handsome heroes who swarm in from the islands to look after their +daughters, scarcely compensates for the annoying presence of their +yellow faces and shaking limbs. No, I think, on the whole, Paphos is my +favourite.' + +'I have heard of its magnificent luxury.' + +'Oh! 'tis lovely! Quite my idea of country life. Not a single tree! When +Cyprus is very hot, you run to Paphos for a sea-breeze, and are sure to +meet every one whose presence is in the least desirable. All the bores +remain behind, as if by instinct.' + +'I remember when we married, we talked of passing the honeymoon at +Cythera, but Dia would have her waiting-maid and a bandbox stuffed +between us in the chariot, so I got sulky after the first stage, and +returned by myself.' + +'You were quite right. I hate bandboxes: they are always in the way. +You would have liked Cythera if you had been in the least in love. +High rocks and green knolls, bowery woods, winding walks, and delicious +sunsets. I have not been there much of late,' continued the Goddess, +looking somewhat sad and serious, 'since--but I will not talk +sentiment to Ixion.' + +'Do you think, then, I am insensible?' + +'Yes.' + +'Perhaps you are right. We mortals grow callous.' + +'So I have heard. How very odd!' So saying, the Goddess glided away and +saluted Mars, who at that moment entered the hall. Ixion was presented +to the military hero, who looked fierce and bowed stiffly. The King of +Thessaly turned upon his heel. Minerva opened her album, and invited him +to inscribe a stanza. + +'Goddess of Wisdom,' replied the King, 'unless you inspire me, the +virgin page must remain pure as thyself. I can scarcely sign a decree.' + +'Is it Ixion of Thessaly who says this; one who has seen so much, +and, if I am not mistaken, has felt and thought so much? I can easily +conceive why such a mind may desire to veil its movements from the +common herd, but pray concede to Minerva the gratifying compliment +of assuring her that she is the exception for whom this rule has been +established.' + +'I seem to listen to the inspired music of an oracle. Give me a pen! + +'Here is one, plucked from a sacred owl.' 'So! I write. There! Will it +do?' Minerva read the inscription:-- + + _I HAVE SEEN THE WORLD, AND MORE THAN THE WORLD: + I HAVE STUDIED THE HEART OF MAN, + AND NOW I CONSORT WITH IMMORTALS. + THE FRUIT OF MY TREE OF KNOWLEDGE IS PLUCKED, + AND IT IS THIS, + 'Adventures are to the Adventurous.' + Written in the Album of Minerva, by + Ixion in Heaven._ + +''Tis brief,' said the Goddess, with a musing air, 'but full of meaning. +You have a daring soul and pregnant mind.' + +'I have dared much: what I may produce we have yet to see.' + +'I must to Jove,' said Minerva, 'to council. We shall meet again. +Farewell, Ixion.' + +'Farewell, Glaucopis.' + +The King of Thessaly stood away from the remaining guests, and leant +with folded arms and pensive brow against a wreathed column. Mars +listened to Venus with an air of deep devotion. Euterpe played an +inspiring accompaniment to their conversation. The Queen of Heaven +seemed engrossed in the creation of her paper peacocks. + +Ixion advanced and seated himself on a couch near Juno. His manner was +divested of that reckless bearing and careless coolness by which it was +in general distinguished. He was, perhaps, even a little embarrassed. +His ready tongue deserted him. At length he spoke. + +'Has your Majesty ever heard of the peacock of the Queen of +Mesopotamia?' + +'No,' replied Juno, with stately reserve; and then she added with an air +of indifferent curiosity, 'Is it in any way remarkable?' + +'Its breast is of silver, its wings of gold, its eyes of carbuncle, its +claws of amethyst.' + +'And its tail?' eagerly inquired Juno. + +'That is a secret,' replied Ixion. 'The tail is the most wonderful part +of all.' + +'Oh! tell me, pray tell me!' + +'I forget.' + +'No, no, no; it is impossible!' exclaimed the animated Juno. +'Provoking mortal!' continued the Goddess. 'Let me entreat you; tell me +immediately.' + +'There is a reason which prevents me.' + +'What can it be? How very odd! What reason can it possibly be? Now tell +me; as a particular, a personal favour, I request you, do tell me.' + +'What! The tail or the reason? The tail is wonderful, but the reason is +much more so. I can only tell one. Now choose.' + +'What provoking things these human beings are! The tail is wonderful, +but the reason is much more so. Well then, the reason; no, the tail. +Stop, now, as a particular favour, pray tell me both. What can the +tail be made of and what can the reason be? I am literally dying of +curiosity.' + +'Your Majesty has cut out that peacock wrong,' remarked Ixion. 'It is +more like one of Minerva's owls.' + +'Who cares about paper peacocks, when the Queen of Mesopotamia has got +such a miracle!' exclaimed Juno; and she tore the labours of the morning +to pieces, and threw away the fragments with vexation. 'Now tell me +instantly; if you have the slightest regard for me, tell me instantly. +What was the tail made of?' + +'And you do not wish to hear the reason?' + +'That afterwards. Now! I am all ears.' At this moment Ganymede entered, +and whispered the Goddess, who rose in evident vexation, and retired to +the presence of Jove. + +The King of Thessaly quitted the Hall of Music. Moody, yet not +uninfluenced by a degree of wild excitement, he wandered forth into the +gardens of Olympus. He came to a beautiful green retreat surrounded by +enormous cedars, so vast that it seemed they must have been coeval with +the creation; so fresh and brilliant, you would have deemed them wet +with the dew of their first spring. The turf, softer than down, and +exhaling, as you pressed it, an exquisite perfume, invited him to +recline himself upon this natural couch. He threw himself upon the +aromatic herbage, and leaning on his arm, fell into a deep reverie. + +Hours flew away; the sunshiny glades that opened in the distance had +softened into shade. + +'Ixion, how do you do?' inquired a voice, wild, sweet, and thrilling as +a bird. The King of Thessaly started and looked up with the distracted +air of a man roused from a dream, or from complacent meditation over +some strange, sweet secret. His cheek was flushed, his dark eyes flashed +fire; his brow trembled, his dishevelled hair played in the fitful +breeze. The King of Thessaly looked up, and beheld a most beautiful +youth. + +Apparently, he had attained about the age of puberty. His stature, +however, was rather tall for his age, but exquisitely moulded and +proportioned. Very fair, his somewhat round cheeks were tinted with +a rich but delicate glow, like the rose of twilight, and lighted by +dimples that twinkled like stars. His large and deep-blue eyes sparkled +with exultation, and an air of ill-suppressed mockery quivered round +his pouting lips. His light auburn hair, braided off his white forehead, +clustered in massy curls on each side of his face, and fell in sunny +torrents down his neck. And from the back of the beautiful youth there +fluttered forth two wings, the tremulous plumage of which seemed to have +been bathed in a sunset: so various, so radiant, and so novel were its +shifting and wondrous tints; purple, and crimson, and gold; streaks of +azure, dashes of orange and glossy black; now a single feather, +whiter than light, and sparkling like the frost, stars of emerald and +carbuncle, and then the prismatic blaze of an enormous brilliant! A +quiver hung at the side of the beautiful youth, and he leant upon a bow. + +'Oh! God, for God thou must be!' at length exclaimed Ixion. 'Do I behold +the bright divinity of Love?' + +'I am indeed Cupid,' replied the youth; 'and am curious to know what +Ixion is thinking about.' 'Thought is often bolder than speech.' +'Oracular, though a mortal! You need not be afraid to trust me. My aid +I am sure you must need. Who ever was found in a reverie on the +green turf, under the shade of spreading trees, without requiring the +assistance of Cupid? Come! be frank, who is the heroine? Some love-sick +nymph deserted on the far earth; or worse, some treacherous mistress, +whose frailty is more easily forgotten than her charms? 'Tis a miserable +situation, no doubt. It cannot be your wife?' + +'Assuredly not,' replied Ixion, with energy. + +'Another man's?' + +'No.' + +'What! an obdurate maiden?' + +Ixion shook his head. + +'It must be a widow, then,' continued Cupid. 'Who ever heard before of +such a piece of work about a widow!' + +'Have pity upon me, dread Cupid!' exclaimed the King of Thessaly, rising +suddenly from the ground, and falling on his knee before the God. +'Thou art the universal friend of man, and all nations alike throw their +incense on thy altars. Thy divine discrimination has not deceived thee. +I _am_ in love; desperately, madly, fatally enamoured. The object of my +passion is neither my own wife nor another man's. In spite of all they +have said and sworn, I am a moral member of society. She is neither a +maid nor a widow. She is------' + +'What? what?' exclaimed the impatient deity. + +'A Goddess!' replied the King. + +'Wheugh!' whistled Cupid. 'What! has my mischievous mother been +indulging you with an innocent flirtation?' + +'Yes; but it produced no effect upon me.' + +'You have a stout heart, then. Perhaps you have been reading poetry with +Minerva, and are caught in one of her Platonic man-traps.' + +'She set one, but I broke away.' + +'You have a stout leg, then. But where are you, where are you? Is it +Hebe? It can hardly be Diana, she is so cold. Is it a Muse, or is it one +of the Graces?' + +Ixion again shook his head. + +'Come, my dear fellow,' said Cupid, quite in a confidential tone, 'you +have told enough to make further reserve mere affectation. Ease your +heart at once, and if I can assist you, depend upon my exertions.' + +'Beneficent God!' exclaimed Ixion, 'if I ever return to Larissa, the +brightest temple in Greece shall hail thee for its inspiring deity. I +address thee with all the confiding frankness of a devoted votary. Know, +then, the heroine of my reverie was no less a personage than the Queen +of Heaven herself!' + +'Juno! by all that is sacred!' shouted Cupid. 'I am here,' responded +a voice of majestic melody. The stately form of the Queen of Heaven +advanced from a neighbouring bower. Ixion stood with his eyes fixed +upon the ground, with a throbbing heart and burning cheeks. Juno stood +motionless, pale, and astounded. The God of Love burst into excessive +laughter. + +[Illustration: page28] + +'A pretty pair!' he exclaimed, fluttering between both, and laughing +in their faces. 'Truly a pretty pair! Well! I see I am in your way. +Good-bye!' And so saying, the God pulled a couple of arrows from his +quiver, and with the rapidity of lightning shot one in the respective +breasts of the Queen of Heaven and the King of Thessaly. + +The amethystine twilight of Olympus died away. The stars blazed with +tints of every hue. Ixion and Juno returned to the palace. She leant +upon his arm; her eyes were fixed upon the ground; they were in sight of +the gorgeous pile, and yet she had not spoken. Ixion, too, was silent, +and gazed with abstraction upon the glowing sky. + +Suddenly, when within a hundred yards of the portal, Juno stopped, and +looking up into the face of Ixion with an irresistible smile, she +said, 'I am sure you cannot now refuse to tell me what the Queen of +Mesopotamia's peacock's tail was made of!' + +'It is impossible now,' said Ixion. 'Know, then, beautiful Goddess, that +the tail of the Queen of Mesopotamia's peacock was made of some plumage +she had stolen from the wings of Cupid.' + +'And what was the reason that prevented you from telling me before?' + +'Because, beautiful Juno, I am the most discreet of men, and respect the +secret of a lady, however trifling.' + +'I am glad to hear that,' replied Juno, and they re-entered the palace. + +Mercury met Juno and Ixion in the gallery leading to the grand +banqueting hall. + +'I was looking for you,' said the God, shaking his head. 'Jove is in a +sublime rage. Dinner has been ready this hour.' + +The King of Thessaly and the Queen of Heaven exchanged a glance and +entered the saloon. Jove looked up with a brow of thunder, but did not +condescend to send forth a single flash of anger. Jove looked up and +Jove looked down. All Olympus trembled as the Father of Gods and men +resumed his soup. The rest of the guests seemed nervous and reserved, +except Cupid, who said immediately to Juno, 'Your Majesty has been +detained?' + +'I fell asleep in a bower reading Apollo's last poem,' replied Juno. 'I +am lucky, however, in finding a companion in my negligence. Ixion, where +have you been?' + +'Take a glass of nectar, Juno,' said Cupid, with eyes twinkling with +mischief; 'and perhaps Ixion will join us.' + +This was the most solemn banquet ever celebrated in Olympus. Everyone +seemed out of humour or out of spirits. Jupiter spoke only in +monosyllables of suppressed rage, that sounded like distant thunder. +Apollo whispered to Minerva. Mercury never opened his lips, but +occasionally exchanged significant glances with Ganymede. Mars +compensated, by his attentions to Venus, for his want of conversation. +Cupid employed himself in asking disagreeable questions. At length +the Goddesses retired. Mercury exerted himself to amuse Jove, but the +Thunderer scarcely deigned to smile at his best stories. Mars picked +his teeth, Apollo played with his rings, Ixion was buried in a profound +reverie. + +It was a great relief to all when Ganymede summoned them to the presence +of their late companions. + +'I have written a comment upon your inscription,' said Minerva to Ixion, +'and am anxious for your opinion of it.' + +'I am a wretched critic,' said the King, breaking away from her. Juno +smiled upon him in the distance. + +'Ixion,' said Venus, as he passed by, 'come and talk to me.' + +The bold Thessalian blushed, he stammered out an unmeaning excuse, he +quitted the astonished but good-natured Goddess, and seated himself by +Juno, and as he seated himself his moody brow seemed suddenly illumined +with brilliant light. + +'Is it so?' said Venus. + +'Hem!' said Minerva. + +'Ha, ha!' said Cupid. + +Jupiter played piquette with Mercury. + +'Everything goes wrong to-day,' said the King of Heaven; 'cards +wretched, and kept waiting for dinner, and by-----a mortal!' + +'Your Majesty must not be surprised,' said the good-natured Mercury, +with whom Ixion was no favourite. 'Your Majesty must not be very much +surprised at the conduct of this creature. Considering what he is, and +where he is, I am only astonished that his head is not more turned than +it appears to be. A man, a thing made of mud, and in Heaven! Only think, +sire! Is it not enough to inflame the brain of any child of clay? To be +sure, keeping your Majesty from dinner is little short of celestial high +treason. I hardly expected that, indeed. To order me about, to treat +Ganymede as his own lacquey, and, in short, to command the whole +household; all this might be expected from such a person in such a +situation, but I confess I did think he had some little respect left for +your Majesty.' + +'And he does order you about, eh?' inquired Jove. 'I have the spades.' + +'Oh! 'tis quite ludicrous,' responded the son of Maia. 'Your Majesty +would not expect from me the offices that this upstart daily requires.' + +'Eternal destiny! is't possible? That is my trick. And Ganymede, too?' + +'Oh! quite shocking, I assure you, sire,' said the beautiful cupbearer, +leaning over the chair of Jove with all the easy insolence of a +privileged favourite. 'Really, sire, if Ixion is to go on in the way he +does, either he or I must quit.' + +'Is it possible?' exclaimed Jupiter. 'But I can believe anything of a +man who keeps me waiting for dinner. Two and three make five.' + +'It is Juno that encourages him so,' said Ganymede. + +'Does she encourage him?' inquired Jove. + +'Everybody notices it,' protested Ganymede. + +'It is indeed a little noticed,' observed Mercury. + +'What business has such a fellow to speak to Juno?' exclaimed Jove. 'A +mere mortal, a mere miserable mortal! You have the point. How I have +been deceived in this fellow! Who ever could have supposed that, +after all my generosity to him, he would ever have kept me waiting for +dinner?' + +'He was walking with Juno,' said Ganymede. 'It was all a sham about +their having met by accident. Cupid saw them.' + +'Ha!' said Jupiter, turning pale; 'you don't say so! Repiqued, as I am a +God. That is mine. Where is the Queen?' + +'Talking to Ixion, sire,' said Mercury. 'Oh, I beg your pardon, sire; I +did not know you meant the queen of diamonds.' + +'Never mind. I am repiqued, and I have been kept waiting for dinner. +Accursed be this day! Is Ixion really talking to Juno? We will not +endure this.' + +'Where is Juno?' demanded Jupiter. + +'I am sure I cannot say,' said Venus, with a smile. + +'I am sure I do not know,' said Minerva, with a sneer. + +'Where is Ixion?' said Cupid, laughing outright. + +'Mercury, Ganymede, find the Queen of Heaven instantly,' thundered the +Father of Gods and men. + +The celestial messenger and the heavenly page flew away out of different +doors. There was a terrible, an immortal silence. Sublime rage lowered +on the brow of Jove like a storm upon the mountain-top. Minerva seated +herself at the card-table and played at Patience. Venus and Cupid +tittered in the background. Shortly returned the envoys, Mercury looking +solemn, Ganymede malignant. + +'Well?' inquired Jove; and all Olympus trembled at the monosyllable. + +Mercury shook his head. + +'Her Majesty has been walking on the terrace with the King of Thessaly,' +replied Ganymede. + +'Where is she now, sir?' demanded Jupiter. + +Mercury shrugged his shoulders. + +'Her Majesty is resting herself in the pavilion of Cupid, with the King +of Thessaly,' replied Ganymede. + +'Confusion!' exclaimed the Father of Gods and men; and he rose and +seized a candle from the table, scattering the cards in all directions. +Every one present, Minerva and Venus, and Mars and Apollo, and Mercury +and Ganymede, and the Muses, and the Graces, and all the winged +genii--each seized a candle; rifling the chandeliers, each followed Jove. + +'This way,' said Mercury. + +'This way,' said Ganymede. + +'This way, this way!' echoed the celestial crowd. + +'Mischief!' cried Cupid; 'I must save my victims.' + +They were all upon the terrace. The Father of Gods and men, though both +in a passion and a hurry, moved with dignity. It was, as customary in +Heaven, a clear and starry night; but this eve Diana was indisposed, or +otherwise engaged, and there was no moonlight. They were in sight of the +pavilion. + +'What are you?' inquired Cupid of one of the genii, who accidentally +extinguished his candle. + +'I am a cloud,' answered the winged genius. + +'A cloud! Just the thing. Now do me a shrewd turn, and Cupid is ever +your debtor. Fly, fly, pretty cloud, and encompass yon pavilion with +your form. Away! ask no questions; swift as my word.' + +'I declare there is a fog,' said Venus. + +'An evening mist in Heaven!' said Minerva. + +'Where is Nox?' said Jove. 'Everything goes wrong. Who ever heard of a +mist in Heaven?' + +'My candle is out,' said Apollo. + +'And mine, too,' said Mars. + +'And mine, and mine, and mine,' said Mercury and Ganymede, and the Muses +and the Graces. + +'All the candles are out!' said Cupid; 'a regular fog. I cannot even see +the pavilion: it must be hereabouts, though,' said the God to himself. +'So, so; I should be at home in my own pavilion, and am tolerably +accustomed to stealing about in the dark. There is a step; and here, +surely, is the lock. The door opens, but the cloud enters before me. +Juno, Juno,' whispered the God of Love, 'we are all here. Be contented +to escape, like many other innocent dames, with your reputation only +under a cloud: it will soon disperse; and lo! the heaven is clearing.' + +'It must have been the heat of our flambeaux,' said Venus; 'for see, the +mist is vanished; here is the pavilion.' + +Ganymede ran forward, and dashed open the door. Ixion was alone. + +'Seize him!' said Jove. + +'Juno is not here,' said Mercury, with an air of blended congratulation +and disappointment. + +'Never mind,' said Jove; 'seize him! He kept me waiting for dinner.' + +'Is this your hospitality, AEgiochus?' exclaimed Ixion, in a tone of +bullying innocence. 'I shall defend myself.' + +'Seize him, seize him!' exclaimed Jupiter. 'What! do you all falter? Are +you afraid of a mortal?' + +'And a Thessalian?' added Ganymede. + +No one advanced. + +'Send for Hercules,' said Jove. + +'I will fetch him in an instant,' said Ganymede. + +'I protest,' said the King of Thessaly, 'against this violation of the +most sacred rights.' + +'The marriage tie?' said Mercury. + +'The dinner-hour?' said Jove. + +'It is no use talking sentiment to Ixion,' said Venus; 'all mortals are +callous.' + +'Adventures are to the adventurous,' said Minerva. + +'Here is Hercules! here is Hercules!' + +'Seize him!' said Jove; 'seize that man.' + +In vain the mortal struggled with the irresistible demigod. + +'Shall I fetch your thunderbolt, Jove?' inquired Ganymede. + +'Anything short of eternal punishment is unworthy of a God,' answered +Jupiter, with great dignity. 'Apollo, bring me a wheel of your +chariot.' + +'What shall I do to-morrow morning?' inquired the God of Light. + +'Order an eclipse,' replied Jove. 'Bind the insolent wretch to the +wheel; hurl him to Hades; its motion shall be perpetual.' + +'What am I to bind him with?' inquired Hercules. + +'The girdle of Venus,' replied the Thunderer. + +'What is all this?' inquired Juno, advancing, pale and agitated. + +'Come along; you shall see,' answered Jupiter. 'Follow me, follow me.' + +They all followed the leader, all the Gods, all the genii; in the midst, +the brawny husband of Hebe bearing Ixion aloft, bound to the fatal +wheel. They reached the terrace; they descended the sparkling steps of +lapis-lazuli. Hercules held his burthen on high, ready, at a nod, to +plunge the hapless but presumptuous mortal through space into Hades. The +heavenly group surrounded him, and peeped over the starry abyss. It was +a fine moral, and demonstrated the usual infelicity that attends unequal +connection. + +'Celestial despot!' said Ixion. + +In a moment all sounds were hushed, as they listened to the last words +of the unrivalled victim. Juno, in despair, leant upon the respective +arms of Venus and Minerva. + +'Celestial despot!' said Ixion, 'I defy the immortal ingenuity of thy +cruelty. My memory must be as eternal as thy torture: that will support +me.' + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Ixion In Heaven, by Benjamin Disraeli + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IXION IN HEAVEN *** + +***** This file should be named 20009.txt or 20009.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/0/0/0/20009/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Ixion In Heaven + +Author: Benjamin Disraeli + +Release Date: December 3, 2006 [EBook #20009] +Last Updated: September 7, 2016 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IXION IN HEAVEN *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h1> + IXION IN HEAVEN + </h1> + <h2> + By Benjamin Disraeli + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + <i>ADVERTISEMENT</i> + + <i>‘IXION, King of Thessaly, famous for its horses, married + Dia, daughter of Deioneus, who, in consequence of his son- + in-law’s non-fulfilment of his engagements, stole away some + of the monarch’s steeds. Ixion concealed his resentment + under the mask of friendship. He invited his father-in-law + to a feast at Larissa, the capital of his kingdom; and when + Deioneus arrived according to his appointment, he threw him + into a pit which he had previously filled with burning + coals. This treachery so irritated the neighbouring princes, + that all of them refused to perform the usual ceremony, by + which a man was then purified of murder, and Ixion was + shunned and despised by all mankind. Jupiter had compassion + upon him, carried him to Heaven, and introduced him to the + Father of the Gods. Such a favour, which ought to have + awakened gratitude in Ixion, only served to inflame his bad + passions; he became enamoured of Juno, and attempted to + seduce her. Juno was willing to gratify the passion of + Ixion, though, according to others,’ &c.—Classical + Dictionary, art. ‘Ixion.‘</i> + </pre> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + Contents + </h2> + <table summary=""> + <tr> + <td> + <p> + <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> <big><b>IXION IN HEAVEN</b></big> </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_PART1"> PART I. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_PART2"> PART II. </a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + IXION IN HEAVEN + </h2> + <p> + <a name="link2H_PART1" id="link2H_PART1"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + PART I. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + <i>An Errant King</i> +</pre> + <p> + THE thunder groaned, the wind howled, the rain fell in hissing torrents, + impenetrable darkness covered the earth. A blue and forky flash darted a + momentary light over the landscape. A Doric temple rose in the centre of a + small and verdant plain, surrounded on all sides by green and hanging + woods. + </p> + <p> + ‘Jove is my only friend,’ exclaimed a wanderer, as he muffled himself up + in his mantle; ‘and were it not for the porch of his temple, this night, + methinks, would complete the work of my loving wife and my dutiful + subjects.’ + </p> + <p> + The thunder died away, the wind sank into silence, the rain ceased, and + the parting clouds exhibited the glittering crescent of the young moon. A + sonorous and majestic voice sounded from the skies:— + </p> + <p> + ‘Who art thou that hast no other friend than Jove?’ ‘One whom all mankind + unite in calling a wretch.’ ‘Art thou a philosopher?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘If philosophy be endurance. But for the rest, I was sometime a king, and + am now a scatterling.’ ‘How do they call thee? ‘Ixion of Thessaly.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Ixion of Thessaly! I thought he was a happy man. I heard that he was just + married.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Father of Gods and men! for I deem thee such, Thessaly is not Olympus. + Conjugal felicity is only the portion of the immortals!’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Hem! What! was Dia jealous, which is common; or false, which is commoner; + or both, which is commonest?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘It may be neither. We quarrelled about nothing. Where there is little + sympathy, or too much, the splitting of a straw is plot enough for a + domestic tragedy. I was careless, her friends stigmatised me as callous; + she cold, her friends styled her magnanimous. Public opinion was all on + her side, merely because I did not choose that the world should interfere + between me and my wife. Dia took the world’s advice upon every point, and + the world decided that she always acted rightly. However, life is life, + either in a palace or a cave. I am glad you ordered it to leave off + thundering.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘A cool dog this. And Dia left thee? ‘No; I left her.’ ‘What, craven?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Not exactly. The truth is——-’tis a long story. + </p> + <p> + I was over head and ears in debt.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Ah! that accounts for everything. Nothing so harassing as a want of + money! But what lucky fellows you mortals are with your <i>post-obits!</i> + We Immortals are deprived of this resource. I was obliged to get up a + rebellion against my father, because he kept me so short, and could not + die.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘You could have married for money. I did.’ ‘I had no opportunity, there + was so little female society in those days. When I came out, there were no + heiresses except the Parcae, confirmed old maids; and no very rich + dowager, except my grandmother, old Terra.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Just the thing; the older the better. However, I married Dia, the + daughter of Deioneus, with a prodigious portion; but after the ceremony + the old gentleman would not fulfil his part of the contract without my + giving up my stud. Can you conceive anything more unreasonable? I + smothered my resentment at the time; for the truth is, my tradesmen all + renewed my credit on the strength of the match, and so we went on very + well for a year; but at last they began to smell a rat, and grew + importunate. I entreated Dia to interfere; but she was a paragon of + daughters, and always took the side of her father. If she had only been + dutiful to her husband, she would have been a perfect woman. At last I + invited Deioneus to the Larissa races, with the intention of conciliating + him. The unprincipled old man bought the horse that I had backed, and by + which I intended to have redeemed my fortunes, and withdrew it. My book + was ruined. I dissembled my rage. I dug a pit in our garden, and filled it + with burning coals. As my father-in-law and myself were taking a stroll + after dinner, the worthy Deioneus fell in, merely by accident. Dia + proclaimed me the murderer of her father, and, as a satisfaction to her + wounded feelings, earnestly requested her subjects to decapitate her + husband. She certainly was the best of daughters. There was no + withstanding public opinion, an infuriated rabble, and a magnanimous wife + at the same time. They surrounded my palace: I cut my way through the + greasy-capped multitude, sword in hand, and gained a neighbouring Court, + where I solicited my brother princes to purify me from the supposed + murder. If I had only murdered a subject, they would have supported me + against the people; but Deioneus being a crowned head, like themselves, + they declared they would not countenance so immoral a being as his + son-in-law. And so, at length, after much wandering, and shunned by all my + species, I am here, Jove, in much higher society than I ever expected to + mingle.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Well, thou art a frank dog, and in a sufficiently severe scrape. The Gods + must have pity on those for whom men have none. It is evident that Earth + is too hot for thee at present, so I think thou hadst better come and stay + a few weeks with us in Heaven.’ ‘Take my thanks for hecatombs, great Jove. + Thou art, indeed, a God!’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I hardly know whether our life will suit you. We dine at sunset; for + Apollo is so much engaged that he cannot join us sooner, and no dinner + goes off well without him. In the morning you are your own master, and + must find amusement where you can. Diana will show you some tolerable + sport. Do you shoot?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘No arrow surer. Fear not for me, Ægiochus: I am always at home. But how + am I to get to you?’ ‘I will send Mercury; he is the best travelling + companion in the world. What ho! my Eagle!’ + </p> + <p> + The clouds joined, and darkness again fell over the earth. + </p> + <p> + ‘So! tread softly. Don’t be nervous. Are you sick?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘A little nausea; ‘tis nothing.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘The novelty of the motion. The best thing is a beefsteak. We will stop at + Taurus and take one.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘You have been a great traveller, Mercury?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I have seen the world.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Ah! a wondrous spectacle. I long to travel.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘The same thing over and over again. Little novelty and much change. I am + wearied with exertion, and if I could get a pension would retire.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘And yet travel brings wisdom.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘It cures us of care. Seeing much we feel little, and learn how very petty + are all those great affairs which cost us such anxiety.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I feel that already myself. Floating in this blue aether, what the devil + is my wife to me, and her dirty Earth! My persecuting enemies seem so many + pismires; and as for my debts, which have occasioned me so many brooding + moments, honour and infamy, credit and beggary, seem to me alike + ridiculous.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Your mind is opening, Ixion. You will soon be a man of the world. To the + left, and keep clear of that star.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Who lives there?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘The Fates know, not I. Some low people who are trying to shine into + notice. ‘Tis a parvenu planet, and only sprung into space within this + century. We do not visit them.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Poor devils! I feel hungry.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘All right. We shall get into Heaven by the first dinner bolt. You cannot + arrive at a strange house at a better moment. We shall just have time to + dress. I would not spoil my appetite by luncheon. Jupiter keeps a capital + cook.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I have heard of Nectar and Ambrosia.’ ‘Poh! nobody touches them. They are + regular old-fashioned celestial food, and merely put upon the side-table. + Nothing goes down in Heaven now but infernal cookery. We took our chef + from Proserpine.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Were you ever in Hell?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Several times. ‘Tis the fashion now among the Olympians to pass the + winter there.’ ‘Is this the season in Heaven?’ ‘Yes; you are lucky. + Olympus is quite full.’ ‘It was kind of Jupiter to invite me.’ ‘Ay! he has + his good points. And, no doubt, he has taken a liking to you, which is all + very well. But be upon your guard. He has no heart, and is as capricious + as he is tyrannical.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Gods cannot be more unkind to me than men have been.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘All those who have suffered think they have seen the worst. A great + mistake. However, you are now in the high road to preferment, so we will + not be dull. There are some good fellows enough amongst us. You will like + old Neptune.’ ‘Is he there now?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Yes, he generally passes his summer with us. There is little stirring in + the ocean at that season.’ ‘I am anxious to see Mars.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Oh! a brute, more a bully than a hero. Not at all in the best set. These + mustachioed gentry are by no means the rage at present in Olympus. The + women are all literary now, and Minerva has quite eclipsed Venus. Apollo + is our hero. You must read his last work.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I hate reading.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘So do I. I have no time, and seldom do anything in that way but glance at + a newspaper. Study and action will not combine.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I suppose I shall find the Goddesses very proud?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘You will find them as you find women below, of different dispositions + with the same object. Venus is a flirt; Minerva a prude, who fancies she + has a correct taste and a strong mind; and Juno a politician. As for the + rest, faint heart never won fair lady; take a friendly hint, and do not be + alarmed.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I fear nothing. My mind mounts with my fortunes. We are above the clouds. + They form beneath us a vast and snowy region, dim and irregular, as I have + sometimes seen them clustering upon the horizon’s ridge at sunset, like a + raging sea stilled by some sudden supernatural frost and frozen into form! + How bright the air above us, and how delicate its fragrant breath! I + scarcely breathe, and yet my pulses beat like my first youth. I hardly + feel my being. A splendour falls upon your presence. You seem, indeed, a + God! Am I so glorious? This, this is Heaven!’ + </p> + <p> + The travellers landed on a vast flight of sparkling steps of lapis-lazuli. + Ascending, they entered beautiful gardens; winding walks that yielded to + the feet, and accelerated your passage by their rebounding pressure; + fragrant shrubs covered with dazzling flowers, the fleeting tints of which + changed every moment; groups of tall trees, with strange birds of + brilliant and variegated plumage, singing and reposing in their sheeny + foliage, and fountains of perfumes. + </p> + <p> + Before them rose an illimitable and golden palace, with high spreading + domes of pearl, and long windows of crystal. Around the huge portal of + ruby was ranged a company of winged genii, who smiled on Mercury as he + passed them with his charge. + </p> + <p> + ‘The Father of Gods and men is dressing,’ said the son of Maia. ‘I shall + attend his toilet and inform him of your arrival. These are your rooms. + Dinner will be ready in half an hour. I will call for you as I go down. + You can be formally presented in the evening. At that time, inspired by + liqueurs and his matchless band of wind instruments, you will agree with + the world that Ægiochus is the most finished God in existence.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Now, Ixion, are you ready?’ ‘Even so. What says Jove?’ ‘He smiled, but + said nothing. He was trying on a new robe. By this time he is seated. + Hark! the thunder. Come on!’ + </p> + <p> + They entered a cupolaed hall. Seats of ivory and gold were ranged round a + circular table of cedar, inlaid with the campaigns against the Titans, in + silver exquisitely worked, a nuptial present of Vulcan. The service of + gold plate threw all the ideas of the King of Thessaly as to royal + magnificence into the darkest shade. The enormous plateau represented the + constellations. Ixion viewed the Father of Gods and men with great + interest, who, however, did not notice him. He acknowledged the majesty of + that countenance whose nod shook Olympus. Majestically robust and + luxuriantly lusty, his tapering waist was evidently immortal, for it + defied Time, and his splendid auburn curls, parted on his forehead with + celestial precision, descended over cheeks glowing with the purple + radiancy of perpetual manhood. + </p> + <p> + The haughty Juno was seated on his left hand and Ceres on his right. For + the rest of the company there was Neptune, Latona, Minerva, and Apollo, + and when Mercury and Ixion had taken their places, one seat was still + vacant. + </p> + <p> + ‘Where is Diana?’ inquired Jupiter, with a frown. + </p> + <p> + ‘My sister is hunting,’ said Apollo. + </p> + <p> + ‘She is always too late for dinner,’ said Jupiter. ‘No habit is less + Goddess-like.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Godlike pursuits cannot be expected to induce Goddess-like manners,’ said + Juno, with a sneer. + </p> + <p> + ‘I have no doubt Diana will be here directly,’ said Latona, mildly. + </p> + <p> + Jupiter seemed pacified, and at that instant the absent guest returned. + </p> + <p> + ‘Good sport, Di?’ inquired Neptune. + </p> + <p> + ‘Very fair, uncle. Mamma,’ continued the sister of Apollo, addressing + herself to Juno, whom she ever thus styled when she wished to conciliate + her, ‘I have brought you a new peacock.’ + </p> + <p> + Juno was fond of pets, and was conciliated by the present. + </p> + <p> + ‘Bacchus made a great noise about this wine, Mercury,’ said Jupiter,’ but + I think with little cause. What think you?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘It pleases me, but I am fatigued, and then all wine is agreeable.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘You have had a long journey,’ replied the Thunderer. ‘Ixion, I am glad to + see you in Heaven.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Your Majesty arrived to-day?’ inquired Minerva, to whom the King of + Thessaly sat next. + </p> + <p> + ‘Within this hour.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘You must leave off talking of Time now,’ said Minerva, with a severe + smile. ‘Pray is there anything new in Greece?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I have not been at all in society lately.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘No new edition of Homer? I admire him exceedingly.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘All about Greece interests me,’ said Apollo, who, although handsome, was + a somewhat melancholy lack-a-daisical looking personage, with his shirt + collar thrown open, and his long curls theatrically arranged. ‘All about + Greece interests me. I always consider Greece my peculiar property. My + best poems were written at Delphi. I travelled in Greece when I was young. + I envy mankind.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Indeed!’ said Ixion. + </p> + <p> + ‘Yes: they at least can look forward to a termination of the ennui of + existence, but for us Celestials there is no prospect. Say what they like, + immortality is a bore.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘You eat nothing, Apollo,’ said Ceres. + </p> + <p> + ‘Nor drink,’ said Neptune. + </p> + <p> + ‘To eat, to drink, what is it but to live; and what is life but death, if + death be that which all men deem it, a thing insufferable, and to be + shunned. I refresh myself now only with soda-water and biscuits. Ganymede, + bring some.’ + </p> + <p> + Now, although the <i>cuisine</i> of Olympus was considered perfect, the + forlorn poet had unfortunately fixed upon the only two articles which were + not comprised in its cellar or larder. In Heaven, there was neither + soda-water nor biscuits. A great confusion consequently ensued; but at + length the bard, whose love of fame was only equalled by his horror of + getting fat, consoled himself with a swan stuffed with truffles, and a + bottle of strong Tenedos wine. + </p> + <p> + ‘What do you think of Homer?’ inquired Minerva of Apollo. ‘Is he not + delightful?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘If you think so.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Nay, I am desirous of your opinion.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Then you should not have given me yours, for your taste is too fine for + me to dare to differ with it.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I have suspected, for some time, that you are rather a heretic’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Why, the truth is,’ replied Apollo, playing with his rings, ‘I do not + think much of Homer. Homer was not esteemed in his own age, and our + contemporaries are generally our best judges. The fact is, there are very + few people who are qualified to decide upon matters of taste. A certain + set, for certain reasons, resolve to cry up a certain writer, and the + great mass soon join in. All is cant. And the present admiration of Homer + is not less so. They say I have borrowed a great deal from him. The truth + is, I never read Homer since I was a child, and I thought of him then what + I think of him now, a writer of some wild irregular power, totally + deficient in taste. Depend upon it, our contemporaries are our best + judges, and his contemporaries decided that Homer was nothing. A great + poet cannot be kept down. Look at my case. Marsyas said of my first volume + that it was pretty good poetry for a God, and in answer I wrote a satire, + and flayed Marsyas alive. But what is poetry, and what is criticism, and + what is life? Air. And what is air? Do you know? I don’t. All is mystery, + and all is gloom, and ever and anon from out the clouds a star breaks + forth, and glitters, and that star is Poetry.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Splendid!’ exclaimed Minerva. + </p> + <p> + ‘I do not exactly understand you,’ said Neptune. + </p> + <p> + ‘Have you heard from Proserpine, lately?’ inquired Jupiter of Ceres. + </p> + <p> + ‘Yesterday,’ said the domestic mother. ‘They talk of soon joining us. But + Pluto is at present so busy, owing to the amazing quantity of wars going + on now, that I am almost afraid he will scarcely be able to accompany + her.’ + </p> + <p> + Juno exchanged a telegraphic nod with Ceres. The Goddesses rose, and + retired. + </p> + <p> + ‘Come, old boy,’ said Jupiter to Ixion, instantly throwing off all his + chivalric majesty, ‘I drink your welcome in a magnum of Maraschino. Damn + your poetry, Apollo, and, Mercury, give us one of your good stories.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Well! what do you think of him?’ asked Juno. + </p> + <p> + ‘He appears to have a fine mind,’ said Minerva. + </p> + <p> + ‘Poh! he has very fine eyes,’ said Juno. + </p> + <p> + ‘He seems a very nice, quiet young gentleman,’ said Ceres. + </p> + <p> + ‘I have no doubt he is very amiable,’ said Latona. + </p> + <p> + ‘He must have felt very strange,’ said Diana. + </p> + <p> + Hercules arrived with his bride Hebe; soon after the Graces dropped in, + the most delightful personages in the world for a <i>soiree</i>, so useful + and ready for anything. Afterwards came a few of the Muses, Thalia, + Melpomene, and Terpsichore, famous for a charade or a proverb. Jupiter + liked to be amused in the evening. Bacchus also came, but finding that the + Gods had not yet left their wine, retired to pay them a visit. + </p> + <p> + Ganymede announced coffee in the saloon of Juno. Jupiter was in superb + good humour. He was amused by his mortal guest. He had condescended to + tell one of his best stories in his best style, about Leda, not too + scandalous, but gay. + </p> + <p> + ‘Those were bright days,’ said Neptune. + </p> + <p> + ‘We can remember,’ said the Thunderer, with a twinkling eye. ‘These youths + have fallen upon duller times. There are no fine women now. Ixion, I drink + to the health of your wife.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘With all my heart, and may we never be nearer than we are at present.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Good! i’faith; Apollo, your arm. Now for the ladies. La, la, la, la! la, + la, la, la!’ + </p> + <p> + The Thunderer entered the saloon of Juno with that bow which no God could + rival; all rose, and the King of Heaven seated himself between Ceres and + Latona. The melancholy Apollo stood apart, and was soon carried off by + Minerva to an assembly at the house of Mnemosyne. Mercury chatted with the + Graces, and Bacchus with Diana. The three Muses favoured the company with + singing, and the Queen of Heaven approached Ixion. + </p> + <p> + ‘Does your Majesty dance?’ she haughtily inquired. + </p> + <p> + ‘On earth; I have few accomplishments even there, and none in Heaven.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘You have led a strange life! I have heard of your adventures.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘A king who has lost his crown may generally gain at least experience.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Your courage is firm.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I have felt too much to care for much. Yesterday I was a vagabond exposed + to every pitiless storm, and now I am the guest of Jove. While there is + life there is hope, and he who laughs at Destiny will gain Fortune. I + would go through the past again to enjoy the present, and feel that, after + all, I am my wife’s debtor, since, through her conduct, I can gaze upon + you.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘No great spectacle. If that be all. I wish you better fortune.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I desire no greater.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘You are moderate.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I am perhaps more unreasonable than you imagine.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Indeed!’ + </p> + <p> + Their eyes met; the dark orbs of the Thessalian did not quail before the + flashing vision of the Goddess. Juno grew pale. Juno turned away. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_PART2" id="link2H_PART2"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + PART II. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + <i>‘Others say it was only a cloud.’</i> + + <i>A Mortal Among the Gods.</i> +</pre> + <p> + MERCURY and Ganymede were each lolling on an opposite couch in the + antechamber of Olympus. + </p> + <p> + ‘It is wonderful,’ said the son of Maia, yawning. ‘It is incredible,’ + rejoined the cupbearer of Jove, stretching his legs. + </p> + <p> + ‘A miserable mortal!’ exclaimed the God, elevating his eyebrows. + </p> + <p> + ‘A vile Thessalian!’ said the beautiful Phrygian, shrugging his shoulders. + </p> + <p> + ‘Not three days back an outcast among his own wretched species!’ + </p> + <p> + ‘And now commanding everybody in Heaven.’ ‘He shall not command me, + though,’ said Mercury. + </p> + <p> + ‘Will he not?’ replied Ganymede. ‘Why, what do you think? only last night; + hark! here he comes.’ + </p> + <p> + The companions jumped up from their couches; a light laugh was heard. The + cedar portal was flung open, and Ixion lounged in, habited in a loose + morning robe, and kicking before him one of his slippers. ‘Ah!’ exclaimed + the King of Thessaly, ‘the very fellows I wanted to see! Ganymede, bring + me some nectar; and, Mercury, run and tell Jove that I shall not dine at + home to-day.’ + </p> + <p> + The messenger and the page exchanged looks of indignant consternation. + </p> + <p> + ‘Well! what are you waiting for?’ continued Ixion, looking round from the + mirror in which he was arranging his locks. The messenger and the page + disappeared. + </p> + <p> + ‘So! this is Heaven,’ exclaimed the husband of Dia, flinging himself upon + one of the couches; ‘and a very pleasant place too. These worthy Immortals + required their minds to be opened, and I trust I have effectually + performed the necessary operation. They wanted to keep me down with their + dull old-fashioned celestial airs, but I fancy I have given them change + for their talent. To make your way in Heaven you must command. These + exclusives sink under the audacious invention of an aspiring mind. Jove + himself is really a fine old fellow, with some notions too. I am a prime + favourite, and no one is greater authority with Ægiochus on all subjects, + from the character of the fair sex or the pedigree of a courser, down to + the cut of a robe or the flavour of a dish. Thanks, Ganymede,’ continued + the Thessalian, as he took the goblet from his returning attendant. + </p> + <p> + ‘I drink to your <i>bonnes fortunes</i>. Splendid! This nectar makes me + feel quite immortal. By-the-bye, I hear sweet sounds. Who is in the Hall + of Music?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘The Goddesses, royal sir, practise a new air of Euterpe, the words by + Apollo. ‘Tis pretty, and will doubtless be very popular, for it is all + about moonlight and the misery of existence.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I warrant it.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘You have a taste for poetry yourself?’ inquired Ganymede. + </p> + <p> + ‘Not the least,’ replied Ixion. + </p> + <p> + ‘Apollo,’ continued the heavenly page, ‘is a great genius, though Marsyas + said that he never would be a poet because he was a God, and had no heart. + But do you think, sir, that a poet does indeed need a heart?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I really cannot say. I know my wife always said I had a bad heart and + worse head; but what she meant, upon my honour I never could understand.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Minerva will ask you to write in her album.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Will she indeed! I am sorry to hear it, for I can scarcely scrawl my + signature. I should think that Jove himself cared little for all this + nonsense.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Jove loves an epigram. He does not esteem Apollo’s works at all. Jove is + of the classical school, and admires satire, provided there be no + allusions to Gods and kings.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Of course; I quite agree with him. I remember we had a confounded poet at + Larissa who proved my family lived before the deluge, and asked me for a + pension. I refused him, and then he wrote an epigram asserting that I + sprang from the veritable stones thrown by Deucalion and Pyrrha at the + re-peopling of the earth, and retained all the properties of my + ancestors.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Ha, ha! Hark! there’s a thunderbolt! I must run to Jove.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘And I will look in on the musicians. This way, I think?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Up the ruby staircase, turn to your right, down the amethyst gallery. + Farewell!’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Good-bye; a lively lad that!’ + </p> + <p> + The King of Thessaly entered the Hall of Music with its golden walls and + crystal dome. The Queen of Heaven was reclining in an easy chair, cutting + out peacocks in small sheets of note paper. Minerva was making a pencil + observation on a manuscript copy of the song: Apollo listened with + deference to her laudatory criticisms. Another divine dame, standing by + the side of Euterpe, who was seated by the harp, looked up as Ixion + entered. The wild liquid glance of her soft but radiant countenance + denoted the famed Goddess of Beauty. + </p> + <p> + Juno just acknowledged the entrance of Ixion by a slight and haughty + inclination of the head, and then resumed her employment. Minerva asked + him his opinion of her amendment, of which he greatly approved. Apollo + greeted him with a melancholy smile, and congratulated him on being + mortal. Venus complimented him on his visit to Olympus, and expressed the + pleasure that she experienced in making his acquaintance. + </p> + <p> + ‘What do you think of Heaven?’ inquired Venus, in a soft still voice, and + with a smile like summer lightning. + </p> + <p> + ‘I never found it so enchanting as at this moment,’ replied Ixion. + </p> + <p> + ‘A little dull? For myself, I pass my time chiefly at Cnidos: you must + come and visit me there. ‘Tis the most charming place in the world. ‘Tis + said, you know, that our onions are like other people’s roses. We will + take care of you, if your wife come.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘No fear of that. She always remains at home and piques herself on her + domestic virtues, which means pickling, and quarrelling with her husband.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Ah! I see you are a droll. Very good indeed. Well, for my part, I like a + watering-place existence. Cnidos, Paphos, Cythera; you will usually find + me at one of these places. I like the easy distraction of a career without + any visible result. At these fascinating spots your gloomy race, to whom, + by-the-bye, I am exceedingly partial, appear emancipated from the wearing + fetters of their regular, dull, orderly, methodical, moral, political, + toiling existence. I pride myself upon being the Goddess of + watering-places. You really must pay me a visit at Cnidos.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Such an invitation requires no repetition. And Cnidos is your favourite + spot?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Why, it was so; but of late it has become so inundated with invalid + Asiatics and valetudinarian Persians, that the simultaneous influx of the + handsome heroes who swarm in from the islands to look after their + daughters, scarcely compensates for the annoying presence of their yellow + faces and shaking limbs. No, I think, on the whole, Paphos is my + favourite.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I have heard of its magnificent luxury.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Oh! ‘tis lovely! Quite my idea of country life. Not a single tree! When + Cyprus is very hot, you run to Paphos for a sea-breeze, and are sure to + meet every one whose presence is in the least desirable. All the bores + remain behind, as if by instinct.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I remember when we married, we talked of passing the honeymoon at + Cythera, but Dia would have her waiting-maid and a bandbox stuffed between + us in the chariot, so I got sulky after the first stage, and returned by + myself.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘You were quite right. I hate bandboxes: they are always in the way. You + would have liked Cythera if you had been in the least in love. High rocks + and green knolls, bowery woods, winding walks, and delicious sunsets. I + have not been there much of late,’ continued the Goddess, looking somewhat + sad and serious, ‘since—but I will not talk sentiment to Ixion.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Do you think, then, I am insensible?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Yes.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Perhaps you are right. We mortals grow callous.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘So I have heard. How very odd!’ So saying, the Goddess glided away and + saluted Mars, who at that moment entered the hall. Ixion was presented to + the military hero, who looked fierce and bowed stiffly. The King of + Thessaly turned upon his heel. Minerva opened her album, and invited him + to inscribe a stanza. + </p> + <p> + ‘Goddess of Wisdom,’ replied the King, ‘unless you inspire me, the virgin + page must remain pure as thyself. I can scarcely sign a decree.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Is it Ixion of Thessaly who says this; one who has seen so much, and, if + I am not mistaken, has felt and thought so much? I can easily conceive why + such a mind may desire to veil its movements from the common herd, but + pray concede to Minerva the gratifying compliment of assuring her that she + is the exception for whom this rule has been established.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I seem to listen to the inspired music of an oracle. Give me a pen! + </p> + <p> + ‘Here is one, plucked from a sacred owl.’ ‘So! I write. There! Will it + do?’ Minerva read the inscription:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + <i>I HAVE SEEN THE WORLD, AND MORE THAN THE WORLD: + I HAVE STUDIED THE HEART OF MAN, + AND NOW I CONSORT WITH IMMORTALS. + THE FRUIT OF MY TREE OF KNOWLEDGE IS PLUCKED, + AND IT IS THIS, + ‘Adventures are to the Adventurous.’ + Written in the Album of Minerva, by + Ixion in Heaven.</i> +</pre> + <p> + ‘’Tis brief,’ said the Goddess, with a musing air, ‘but full of meaning. + You have a daring soul and pregnant mind.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I have dared much: what I may produce we have yet to see.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I must to Jove,’ said Minerva, ‘to council. We shall meet again. + Farewell, Ixion.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Farewell, Glaucopis.’ + </p> + <p> + The King of Thessaly stood away from the remaining guests, and leant with + folded arms and pensive brow against a wreathed column. Mars listened to + Venus with an air of deep devotion. Euterpe played an inspiring + accompaniment to their conversation. The Queen of Heaven seemed engrossed + in the creation of her paper peacocks. + </p> + <p> + Ixion advanced and seated himself on a couch near Juno. His manner was + divested of that reckless bearing and careless coolness by which it was in + general distinguished. He was, perhaps, even a little embarrassed. His + ready tongue deserted him. At length he spoke. + </p> + <p> + ‘Has your Majesty ever heard of the peacock of the Queen of Mesopotamia?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘No,’ replied Juno, with stately reserve; and then she added with an air + of indifferent curiosity, ‘Is it in any way remarkable?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Its breast is of silver, its wings of gold, its eyes of carbuncle, its + claws of amethyst.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘And its tail?’ eagerly inquired Juno. + </p> + <p> + ‘That is a secret,’ replied Ixion. ‘The tail is the most wonderful part of + all.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Oh! tell me, pray tell me!’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I forget.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘No, no, no; it is impossible!’ exclaimed the animated Juno. ‘Provoking + mortal!’ continued the Goddess. ‘Let me entreat you; tell me immediately.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘There is a reason which prevents me.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘What can it be? How very odd! What reason can it possibly be? Now tell + me; as a particular, a personal favour, I request you, do tell me.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘What! The tail or the reason? The tail is wonderful, but the reason is + much more so. I can only tell one. Now choose.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘What provoking things these human beings are! The tail is wonderful, but + the reason is much more so. Well then, the reason; no, the tail. Stop, + now, as a particular favour, pray tell me both. What can the tail be made + of and what can the reason be? I am literally dying of curiosity.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Your Majesty has cut out that peacock wrong,’ remarked Ixion. ‘It is more + like one of Minerva’s owls.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Who cares about paper peacocks, when the Queen of Mesopotamia has got + such a miracle!’ exclaimed Juno; and she tore the labours of the morning + to pieces, and threw away the fragments with vexation. ‘Now tell me + instantly; if you have the slightest regard for me, tell me instantly. + What was the tail made of?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘And you do not wish to hear the reason?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘That afterwards. Now! I am all ears.’ At this moment Ganymede entered, + and whispered the Goddess, who rose in evident vexation, and retired to + the presence of Jove. + </p> + <p> + The King of Thessaly quitted the Hall of Music. Moody, yet not + uninfluenced by a degree of wild excitement, he wandered forth into the + gardens of Olympus. He came to a beautiful green retreat surrounded by + enormous cedars, so vast that it seemed they must have been coeval with + the creation; so fresh and brilliant, you would have deemed them wet with + the dew of their first spring. The turf, softer than down, and exhaling, + as you pressed it, an exquisite perfume, invited him to recline himself + upon this natural couch. He threw himself upon the aromatic herbage, and + leaning on his arm, fell into a deep reverie. + </p> + <p> + Hours flew away; the sunshiny glades that opened in the distance had + softened into shade. + </p> + <p> + ‘Ixion, how do you do?’ inquired a voice, wild, sweet, and thrilling as a + bird. The King of Thessaly started and looked up with the distracted air + of a man roused from a dream, or from complacent meditation over some + strange, sweet secret. His cheek was flushed, his dark eyes flashed fire; + his brow trembled, his dishevelled hair played in the fitful breeze. The + King of Thessaly looked up, and beheld a most beautiful youth. + </p> + <p> + Apparently, he had attained about the age of puberty. His stature, + however, was rather tall for his age, but exquisitely moulded and + proportioned. Very fair, his somewhat round cheeks were tinted with a rich + but delicate glow, like the rose of twilight, and lighted by dimples that + twinkled like stars. His large and deep-blue eyes sparkled with + exultation, and an air of ill-suppressed mockery quivered round his + pouting lips. His light auburn hair, braided off his white forehead, + clustered in massy curls on each side of his face, and fell in sunny + torrents down his neck. And from the back of the beautiful youth there + fluttered forth two wings, the tremulous plumage of which seemed to have + been bathed in a sunset: so various, so radiant, and so novel were its + shifting and wondrous tints; purple, and crimson, and gold; streaks of + azure, dashes of orange and glossy black; now a single feather, whiter + than light, and sparkling like the frost, stars of emerald and carbuncle, + and then the prismatic blaze of an enormous brilliant! A quiver hung at + the side of the beautiful youth, and he leant upon a bow. + </p> + <p> + ‘Oh! God, for God thou must be!’ at length exclaimed Ixion. ‘Do I behold + the bright divinity of Love?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I am indeed Cupid,’ replied the youth; ‘and am curious to know what Ixion + is thinking about.’ ‘Thought is often bolder than speech.’ ‘Oracular, + though a mortal! You need not be afraid to trust me. My aid I am sure you + must need. Who ever was found in a reverie on the green turf, under the + shade of spreading trees, without requiring the assistance of Cupid? Come! + be frank, who is the heroine? Some love-sick nymph deserted on the far + earth; or worse, some treacherous mistress, whose frailty is more easily + forgotten than her charms? ‘Tis a miserable situation, no doubt. It cannot + be your wife?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Assuredly not,’ replied Ixion, with energy. + </p> + <p> + ‘Another man’s?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘No.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘What! an obdurate maiden?’ + </p> + <p> + Ixion shook his head. + </p> + <p> + ‘It must be a widow, then,’ continued Cupid. ‘Who ever heard before of + such a piece of work about a widow!’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Have pity upon me, dread Cupid!’ exclaimed the King of Thessaly, rising + suddenly from the ground, and falling on his knee before the God. ‘Thou + art the universal friend of man, and all nations alike throw their incense + on thy altars. Thy divine discrimination has not deceived thee. I <i>am</i> + in love; desperately, madly, fatally enamoured. The object of my passion + is neither my own wife nor another man’s. In spite of all they have said + and sworn, I am a moral member of society. She is neither a maid nor a + widow. She is———’ + </p> + <p> + ‘What? what?’ exclaimed the impatient deity. + </p> + <p> + ‘A Goddess!’ replied the King. + </p> + <p> + ‘Wheugh!’ whistled Cupid. ‘What! has my mischievous mother been indulging + you with an innocent flirtation?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Yes; but it produced no effect upon me.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘You have a stout heart, then. Perhaps you have been reading poetry with + Minerva, and are caught in one of her Platonic man-traps.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘She set one, but I broke away.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘You have a stout leg, then. But where are you, where are you? Is it Hebe? + It can hardly be Diana, she is so cold. Is it a Muse, or is it one of the + Graces?’ + </p> + <p> + Ixion again shook his head. + </p> + <p> + ‘Come, my dear fellow,’ said Cupid, quite in a confidential tone, ‘you + have told enough to make further reserve mere affectation. Ease your heart + at once, and if I can assist you, depend upon my exertions.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Beneficent God!’ exclaimed Ixion, ‘if I ever return to Larissa, the + brightest temple in Greece shall hail thee for its inspiring deity. I + address thee with all the confiding frankness of a devoted votary. Know, + then, the heroine of my reverie was no less a personage than the Queen of + Heaven herself!’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Juno! by all that is sacred!’ shouted Cupid. ‘I am here,’ responded a + voice of majestic melody. The stately form of the Queen of Heaven advanced + from a neighbouring bower. Ixion stood with his eyes fixed upon the + ground, with a throbbing heart and burning cheeks. Juno stood motionless, + pale, and astounded. The God of Love burst into excessive laughter. + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="ixion_page028 (102K)" src="images/ixion_page028.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="ixion_page028_label (12K)" src="images/ixion_page028_label.jpg" + width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + ‘A pretty pair!’ he exclaimed, fluttering between both, and laughing in + their faces. ‘Truly a pretty pair! Well! I see I am in your way. + Good-bye!’ And so saying, the God pulled a couple of arrows from his + quiver, and with the rapidity of lightning shot one in the respective + breasts of the Queen of Heaven and the King of Thessaly. + </p> + <p> + The amethystine twilight of Olympus died away. The stars blazed with tints + of every hue. Ixion and Juno returned to the palace. She leant upon his + arm; her eyes were fixed upon the ground; they were in sight of the + gorgeous pile, and yet she had not spoken. Ixion, too, was silent, and + gazed with abstraction upon the glowing sky. + </p> + <p> + Suddenly, when within a hundred yards of the portal, Juno stopped, and + looking up into the face of Ixion with an irresistible smile, she said, ‘I + am sure you cannot now refuse to tell me what the Queen of Mesopotamia’s + peacock’s tail was made of!’ + </p> + <p> + ‘It is impossible now,’ said Ixion. ‘Know, then, beautiful Goddess, that + the tail of the Queen of Mesopotamia’s peacock was made of some plumage + she had stolen from the wings of Cupid.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘And what was the reason that prevented you from telling me before?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Because, beautiful Juno, I am the most discreet of men, and respect the + secret of a lady, however trifling.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I am glad to hear that,’ replied Juno, and they re-entered the palace. + </p> + <p> + Mercury met Juno and Ixion in the gallery leading to the grand banqueting + hall. + </p> + <p> + ‘I was looking for you,’ said the God, shaking his head. ‘Jove is in a + sublime rage. Dinner has been ready this hour.’ + </p> + <p> + The King of Thessaly and the Queen of Heaven exchanged a glance and + entered the saloon. Jove looked up with a brow of thunder, but did not + condescend to send forth a single flash of anger. Jove looked up and Jove + looked down. All Olympus trembled as the Father of Gods and men resumed + his soup. The rest of the guests seemed nervous and reserved, except + Cupid, who said immediately to Juno, ‘Your Majesty has been detained?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I fell asleep in a bower reading Apollo’s last poem,’ replied Juno. ‘I am + lucky, however, in finding a companion in my negligence. Ixion, where have + you been?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Take a glass of nectar, Juno,’ said Cupid, with eyes twinkling with + mischief; ‘and perhaps Ixion will join us.’ + </p> + <p> + This was the most solemn banquet ever celebrated in Olympus. Everyone + seemed out of humour or out of spirits. Jupiter spoke only in + monosyllables of suppressed rage, that sounded like distant thunder. + Apollo whispered to Minerva. Mercury never opened his lips, but + occasionally exchanged significant glances with Ganymede. Mars + compensated, by his attentions to Venus, for his want of conversation. + Cupid employed himself in asking disagreeable questions. At length the + Goddesses retired. Mercury exerted himself to amuse Jove, but the + Thunderer scarcely deigned to smile at his best stories. Mars picked his + teeth, Apollo played with his rings, Ixion was buried in a profound + reverie. + </p> + <p> + It was a great relief to all when Ganymede summoned them to the presence + of their late companions. + </p> + <p> + ‘I have written a comment upon your inscription,’ said Minerva to Ixion, + ‘and am anxious for your opinion of it.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I am a wretched critic,’ said the King, breaking away from her. Juno + smiled upon him in the distance. + </p> + <p> + ‘Ixion,’ said Venus, as he passed by, ‘come and talk to me.’ + </p> + <p> + The bold Thessalian blushed, he stammered out an unmeaning excuse, he + quitted the astonished but good-natured Goddess, and seated himself by + Juno, and as he seated himself his moody brow seemed suddenly illumined + with brilliant light. + </p> + <p> + ‘Is it so?’ said Venus. + </p> + <p> + ‘Hem!’ said Minerva. + </p> + <p> + ‘Ha, ha!’ said Cupid. + </p> + <p> + Jupiter played piquette with Mercury. + </p> + <p> + ‘Everything goes wrong to-day,’ said the King of Heaven; ‘cards wretched, + and kept waiting for dinner, and by——-a mortal!’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Your Majesty must not be surprised,’ said the good-natured Mercury, with + whom Ixion was no favourite. ‘Your Majesty must not be very much surprised + at the conduct of this creature. Considering what he is, and where he is, + I am only astonished that his head is not more turned than it appears to + be. A man, a thing made of mud, and in Heaven! Only think, sire! Is it not + enough to inflame the brain of any child of clay? To be sure, keeping your + Majesty from dinner is little short of celestial high treason. I hardly + expected that, indeed. To order me about, to treat Ganymede as his own + lacquey, and, in short, to command the whole household; all this might be + expected from such a person in such a situation, but I confess I did think + he had some little respect left for your Majesty.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘And he does order you about, eh?’ inquired Jove. ‘I have the spades.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Oh! ‘tis quite ludicrous,’ responded the son of Maia. ‘Your Majesty would + not expect from me the offices that this upstart daily requires.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Eternal destiny! is’t possible? That is my trick. And Ganymede, too?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Oh! quite shocking, I assure you, sire,’ said the beautiful cupbearer, + leaning over the chair of Jove with all the easy insolence of a privileged + favourite. ‘Really, sire, if Ixion is to go on in the way he does, either + he or I must quit.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Is it possible?’ exclaimed Jupiter. ‘But I can believe anything of a man + who keeps me waiting for dinner. Two and three make five.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘It is Juno that encourages him so,’ said Ganymede. + </p> + <p> + ‘Does she encourage him?’ inquired Jove. + </p> + <p> + ‘Everybody notices it,’ protested Ganymede. + </p> + <p> + ‘It is indeed a little noticed,’ observed Mercury. + </p> + <p> + ‘What business has such a fellow to speak to Juno?’ exclaimed Jove. ‘A + mere mortal, a mere miserable mortal! You have the point. How I have been + deceived in this fellow! Who ever could have supposed that, after all my + generosity to him, he would ever have kept me waiting for dinner?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘He was walking with Juno,’ said Ganymede. ‘It was all a sham about their + having met by accident. Cupid saw them.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Ha!’ said Jupiter, turning pale; ‘you don’t say so! Repiqued, as I am a + God. That is mine. Where is the Queen?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Talking to Ixion, sire,’ said Mercury. ‘Oh, I beg your pardon, sire; I + did not know you meant the queen of diamonds.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Never mind. I am repiqued, and I have been kept waiting for dinner. + Accursed be this day! Is Ixion really talking to Juno? We will not endure + this.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Where is Juno?’ demanded Jupiter. + </p> + <p> + ‘I am sure I cannot say,’ said Venus, with a smile. + </p> + <p> + ‘I am sure I do not know,’ said Minerva, with a sneer. + </p> + <p> + ‘Where is Ixion?’ said Cupid, laughing outright. + </p> + <p> + ‘Mercury, Ganymede, find the Queen of Heaven instantly,’ thundered the + Father of Gods and men. + </p> + <p> + The celestial messenger and the heavenly page flew away out of different + doors. There was a terrible, an immortal silence. Sublime rage lowered on + the brow of Jove like a storm upon the mountain-top. Minerva seated + herself at the card-table and played at Patience. Venus and Cupid tittered + in the background. Shortly returned the envoys, Mercury looking solemn, + Ganymede malignant. + </p> + <p> + ‘Well?’ inquired Jove; and all Olympus trembled at the monosyllable. + </p> + <p> + Mercury shook his head. + </p> + <p> + ‘Her Majesty has been walking on the terrace with the King of Thessaly,’ + replied Ganymede. + </p> + <p> + ‘Where is she now, sir?’ demanded Jupiter. + </p> + <p> + Mercury shrugged his shoulders. + </p> + <p> + ‘Her Majesty is resting herself in the pavilion of Cupid, with the King of + Thessaly,’ replied Ganymede. + </p> + <p> + ‘Confusion!’ exclaimed the Father of Gods and men; and he rose and seized + a candle from the table, scattering the cards in all directions. Every one + present, Minerva and Venus, and Mars and Apollo, and Mercury and Ganymede, + and the Muses, and the Graces, and all the winged genii—each seized + a candle; rifling the chandeliers, each followed Jove. + </p> + <p> + ‘This way,’ said Mercury. + </p> + <p> + ‘This way,’ said Ganymede. + </p> + <p> + ‘This way, this way!’ echoed the celestial crowd. + </p> + <p> + ‘Mischief!’ cried Cupid; ‘I must save my victims.’ + </p> + <p> + They were all upon the terrace. The Father of Gods and men, though both in + a passion and a hurry, moved with dignity. It was, as customary in Heaven, + a clear and starry night; but this eve Diana was indisposed, or otherwise + engaged, and there was no moonlight. They were in sight of the pavilion. + </p> + <p> + ‘What are you?’ inquired Cupid of one of the genii, who accidentally + extinguished his candle. + </p> + <p> + ‘I am a cloud,’ answered the winged genius. + </p> + <p> + ‘A cloud! Just the thing. Now do me a shrewd turn, and Cupid is ever your + debtor. Fly, fly, pretty cloud, and encompass yon pavilion with your form. + Away! ask no questions; swift as my word.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘I declare there is a fog,’ said Venus. + </p> + <p> + ‘An evening mist in Heaven!’ said Minerva. + </p> + <p> + ‘Where is Nox?’ said Jove. ‘Everything goes wrong. Who ever heard of a + mist in Heaven?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘My candle is out,’ said Apollo. + </p> + <p> + ‘And mine, too,’ said Mars. + </p> + <p> + ‘And mine, and mine, and mine,’ said Mercury and Ganymede, and the Muses + and the Graces. + </p> + <p> + ‘All the candles are out!’ said Cupid; ‘a regular fog. I cannot even see + the pavilion: it must be hereabouts, though,’ said the God to himself. + ‘So, so; I should be at home in my own pavilion, and am tolerably + accustomed to stealing about in the dark. There is a step; and here, + surely, is the lock. The door opens, but the cloud enters before me. Juno, + Juno,’ whispered the God of Love, ‘we are all here. Be contented to + escape, like many other innocent dames, with your reputation only under a + cloud: it will soon disperse; and lo! the heaven is clearing.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘It must have been the heat of our flambeaux,’ said Venus; ‘for see, the + mist is vanished; here is the pavilion.’ + </p> + <p> + Ganymede ran forward, and dashed open the door. Ixion was alone. + </p> + <p> + ‘Seize him!’ said Jove. + </p> + <p> + ‘Juno is not here,’ said Mercury, with an air of blended congratulation + and disappointment. + </p> + <p> + ‘Never mind,’ said Jove; ‘seize him! He kept me waiting for dinner.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Is this your hospitality, Ægiochus?’ exclaimed Ixion, in a tone of + bullying innocence. ‘I shall defend myself.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Seize him, seize him!’ exclaimed Jupiter. ‘What! do you all falter? Are + you afraid of a mortal?’ + </p> + <p> + ‘And a Thessalian?’ added Ganymede. + </p> + <p> + No one advanced. + </p> + <p> + ‘Send for Hercules,’ said Jove. + </p> + <p> + ‘I will fetch him in an instant,’ said Ganymede. + </p> + <p> + ‘I protest,’ said the King of Thessaly, ‘against this violation of the + most sacred rights.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘The marriage tie?’ said Mercury. + </p> + <p> + ‘The dinner-hour?’ said Jove. + </p> + <p> + ‘It is no use talking sentiment to Ixion,’ said Venus; ‘all mortals are + callous.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Adventures are to the adventurous,’ said Minerva. + </p> + <p> + ‘Here is Hercules! here is Hercules!’ + </p> + <p> + ‘Seize him!’ said Jove; ‘seize that man.’ + </p> + <p> + In vain the mortal struggled with the irresistible demigod. + </p> + <p> + ‘Shall I fetch your thunderbolt, Jove?’ inquired Ganymede. + </p> + <p> + ‘Anything short of eternal punishment is unworthy of a God,’ answered + Jupiter, with great dignity. ‘Apollo, bring me a wheel of your chariot.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘What shall I do to-morrow morning?’ inquired the God of Light. + </p> + <p> + ‘Order an eclipse,’ replied Jove. ‘Bind the insolent wretch to the wheel; + hurl him to Hades; its motion shall be perpetual.’ + </p> + <p> + ‘What am I to bind him with?’ inquired Hercules. + </p> + <p> + ‘The girdle of Venus,’ replied the Thunderer. + </p> + <p> + ‘What is all this?’ inquired Juno, advancing, pale and agitated. + </p> + <p> + ‘Come along; you shall see,’ answered Jupiter. ‘Follow me, follow me.’ + </p> + <p> + They all followed the leader, all the Gods, all the genii; in the midst, + the brawny husband of Hebe bearing Ixion aloft, bound to the fatal wheel. + They reached the terrace; they descended the sparkling steps of + lapis-lazuli. Hercules held his burthen on high, ready, at a nod, to + plunge the hapless but presumptuous mortal through space into Hades. The + heavenly group surrounded him, and peeped over the starry abyss. It was a + fine moral, and demonstrated the usual infelicity that attends unequal + connection. + </p> + <p> + ‘Celestial despot!’ said Ixion. + </p> + <p> + In a moment all sounds were hushed, as they listened to the last words of + the unrivalled victim. Juno, in despair, leant upon the respective arms of + Venus and Minerva. + </p> + <p> + ‘Celestial despot!’ said Ixion, ‘I defy the immortal ingenuity of thy + cruelty. My memory must be as eternal as thy torture: that will support + me.’ + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Ixion In Heaven, by Benjamin Disraeli + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IXION IN HEAVEN *** + +***** This file should be named 20009-h.htm or 20009-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/0/0/0/20009/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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