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+Project Gutenberg's Valentine M'Clutchy, The Irish Agent, by William Carleton
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Valentine M'Clutchy, The Irish Agent
+       The Works of William Carleton, Volume Two
+
+Author: William Carleton
+
+Illustrator: M. L. Flanery
+
+Release Date: June 7, 2005 [EBook #16009]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK VALENTINE M'CLUTCHY ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+VALENTINE M'CLUTCHY,
+
+THE IRISH AGENT.
+
+
+By William Carleton
+
+
+
+
+PREFACE
+
+
+It was not my intention to have written any Preface to this book, but
+to have allowed it simply to speak for itself. As it is very
+likely, however, that both it and the motives of its author may be
+misrepresented by bigoted or venal pens, I think it necessary to
+introduce it to the reader by a few brief observations. In the first
+place, then, I beg to say, that the work presents phases of Irish life
+and manners that have never been given to the public before by any other
+writer upon the same subject. So far, therefore, the book is a perfectly
+new book--not only to the Irish people, but also to the English
+and Scotch. I know not whether the authenticity of the facts and
+descriptions contained in it may be called in question; but this I do
+know, that there is not an honest man, on either side, who has lived in
+the north of Ireland, and reached the term of fifty years, who will not
+recognize the conduct and language of the northern Orangemen as just,
+truthful, and not one whit exaggerated. To our friends across the
+Channel it is only necessary to say, that I was born in one of the most
+Orange counties in Ireland (Tyrone)--that the violence and licentious
+abuses of these armed civilians were perpetrated before my eyes--and
+that the sounds of their outrages may be said still to ring in my ears.
+
+I have written many works upon Irish life, and up to the present day
+the man has never lived who could lay his finger upon any passage of my
+writings, and say "that is false." I cannot, however, avoid remarking
+here, that within the last few years, a more enlarged knowledge of life,
+and a more matured intercourse with society, have enabled me to overcome
+many absurd prejudices with which I was imbued. Without compromising,
+however, the _truth or integrity_ of any portion of my writings, I am
+willing to admit, which I do frankly, and without hesitation, that I
+published in my early works passages which were not calculated to do
+any earthly good; but, on the contrary, to give unnecessary offence to a
+great number of my countrymen. It is due to myself to state this, and to
+say, that in the last edition of my works I have left as many of these
+passages out as I readily could, without diminishing the interest, or
+disturbing the narrative.
+
+_A fortiori_, then, this book may be considered as full of truth and
+fidelity as any I have ever written: and I must say, that in writing
+it I have changed no principle whatsoever. I am a liberal Conservative,
+and, I trust, a rational one; but I am not, nor ever was, an Orangeman;
+neither can I endure their exclusive and arrogant assumption of loyalty,
+nor the outrages which it has generated. In what portion of my former
+writings, for instance, did I ever publish a line in their favor, or in
+favor of any secret and illegal confederacy?
+
+Again, with regard to the Landlords and Agents, have I not written a
+tale called the "Poor Scholar," and another called "Tubber Derg"? in
+both of which their corruptions and oppressions are exposed. Let it not
+be mistaken. The two great curses of Ireland are bad Landlords and bad
+Agents, and in nineteen cases out of every twenty, the origin of the
+crime lies with the Landlord or Agent, instead of the tenant.
+
+With respect to the Established Church of forty years ago, if there is
+any man living who asserts that I have not _under-drawn_ her, rather
+than otherwise, he is less intimate with truth than I could wish. On
+this subject I challenge and defy inquiry. I grant you she is much
+changed for the better now; but yet there is much to be done in her
+still. It is true Irishmen at present get Mitres, a fact which was
+unknown forty years ago. We have now more Evangelicism, and consequently
+more sleekness and hypocrisy, more external decorum, and, I would also
+trust, more internal spirituality. We have now many eminent and pious
+Prelates in the Church, whose admirable example is enough even to shame
+the Clergymen under them into a sense of their duty. It is to be wished
+that we had many more such as they, for they are wanted. The Irish
+Evangelical party are certainly very numerous, and they must pardon me
+a slight anachronism or two regarding them, concerning what has been
+termed the Modern Reformation in these volumes. Are those who compose
+this same party, by the way, acquainted with their own origin? If not, I
+will tell them. They were begotten by the active spirit of the Church
+of Rome, upon their own establishment, when she was asleep; so that they
+owe their very existence to those whom they look upon as their enemies:
+and if it were only for this reason alone, there ought to be more
+peace between them. In England the same spirit has effected a similar
+seduction on that Establishment, but with this difference, that the
+Puseyites are a much more obedient and dutiful progeny than the Irish
+Evangelicals--inasmuch as they have the grace to acknowledge the
+relationship.
+
+This book was written to exhibit a useful moral to the country. It will
+startle, I humbly trust, many a hard-hearted Landlord and flagitious
+Agent into a perception of their duty, and it will show the negligent
+and reckless Absentee how those from whose toils and struggles he
+derives his support, are oppressed, and fleeced, and trampled on in his
+name.
+
+It will also teach the violent and bigoted Conservative--or, in other
+words, the man who _still_ inherits the Orange sentiments of past
+times--a lesson that he ought not to forget. It will also test the whole
+spirit of modern Conservatism, and its liberality. If there be at the
+press, or anywhere else, a malignant bigot, with great rancor and little
+honesty, it is very likely he will attack my book; and this, of course,
+he is at liberty to do. I deny, however, that modern Conservatism is
+capable of adopting or cherishing the outrages which disgraced the
+Orangemen of forty years ago, or even of a later period. And for this
+reason I am confident that the Conservative Press of Ireland will
+not only sustain me, but fight my battles, if I shall be ungenerously
+attacked. Let them look upon these pictures, and if it ever should
+happen that arms and irresponsible power shall be entrusted to them,
+perhaps the recollection of their truth may teach them a lesson of
+forbearance and humanity toward those that differ from them in creed,
+that may be of important service to our common country. If so, I
+shall have rendered a service to that country, which, as is usual, may
+probably be recognized as valuable, when perhaps my bones are mouldering
+in the clay, and my ear insensible to all such acknowledgments.
+
+As for, myself, I have been so completely sickened by the bigoted
+on each side, that I have come to the determination, as every honest
+Irishman ought, of knowing no party but my country, and of devoting such
+talents as God has given me, to the promotion of her general interests,
+and the happiness of her whole people.
+
+Dublin, December 24, 1844.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER I.--An Irish Pair and Spoileen Tent
+
+--A Marriage Proposal--An Under Agent--An Old Irish Squire and Union
+Lord.
+
+
+The town of Castle Cumber it is not our intention to describe at
+more length than simply to say, that it consists of two long streets,
+intersecting each other, and two or three lanes of cabins--many of them
+mud ones--that stretch out of it on each side at right angles. This
+street, and these straggling appendages, together with a Church, a
+Prison, a Court-house, a Catholic chapel, a few shops, and half a
+dozen public houses, present to the spectator all the features that are
+generally necessary for the description of that class of remote country
+towns of which we write. Indeed, with the exception of an ancient Stone
+Cross, that stands in the middle of the street, and a Fair green, as
+it is termed, or common, where its two half-yearly fairs are held, and
+which lies at the west end of it, there is little or nothing else to be
+added. The fair I particularly mention, because on the day on which the
+circumstances I am about to describe occurred, a fair was held in the
+town, and upon the green in question. The month was December--the day
+stormy and unpropitious. There had been a deep snow and hard frost
+for nearly three weeks before; but now the aspect of the white earth
+contrasted wildly with the large masses of black clouds which hung
+motionless in the air, and cast a dark and gloomy spirit not only over
+the appearance of inanimate nature, but into the heart of man himself.
+
+About noon, just when the whole fair had been assembled, the storm
+commenced with wind, sleet, and rain. Never was a more striking or
+unexpected change produced. Women tucked up, nearly to the knees, their
+garments, soaked with wet, clinging to their bodies and limbs, as if
+a part of themselves--men drenched and buttoned up to the chin--all
+splashing through the slippery streets, their shoes spouting with
+snow-broth--the falling of tents--the shouting against the loudness
+of the storm, in order to be heard--the bleating of sheep, lowing of
+cattle, the deafening and wild hum of confused noises--all, when added
+to the roaring of the sweeping blast, the merciless pelting of the rain,
+and the inclement character of the whole day, presented a scene that
+was tempestuous and desolate beyond belief. Age, decrepid and
+shivering--youth, benumbed and stiffened with cold--rich and poor,
+man and woman, all had evidently but one object in view, and that was
+shelter.
+
+Love, charity, amusement, business, were all either disappointed or
+forced to suspend their operations, at least for the present. Every
+one ran or walked as quickly as possible, with the exception of some
+forenoon drunkard, who staggered along at his ease, with an eye half
+indolent and half stupid, careless, if not unconscious of the wild
+uproar, both elemental and otherwise, by which he was surrounded.
+
+Nay, the very beggars and impostors--to whom, in general, severe
+weather on such occasions is a godsend, as it presents them to their
+fellow-creatures in a more pitiable aspect--were glad to disperse. In
+truth, the effect of the storm upon them was perfectly miraculous.
+Many a poor creature, blind from birth or infancy, was gifted with, or
+restored to excellent sight; the maimed were suddenly cured--the deaf
+made to hear--the dumb to speak--and the study baccagh, or cripple,
+bounded away, at the rate of six miles an hour, cursing the whole thing
+as a bad spec--a dead failure.
+
+Solemn assignations of long promise, rustic courtships, and earnest
+match-makings, were all knocked up, unless in case of those who availed
+themselves of the early part of the day. Time and place, in fact, were
+completely forgotten by the parties, each being anxious only to secure
+the nearest and most commodious shelter. Nay, though ashamed to write
+it, we are bound to confess that some of our countrymen were ungallant
+enough, on meeting with their sweethearts, fairly to give them the
+slip, or only to recognize them with a kind of dreary and equivocal
+salutation, that might be termed a cross between a wink and a shiver.
+Others, however, gallantly and magnanimously set the tempest at
+defiance, or blessed their stars for sending them an opportunity of
+sitting so close to their fair inamoratas, in order that their loving
+pressure might, in some degree, aided by a glass of warm punch,
+compensate the sweet creatures for the unexpected drenching they had
+got.
+
+It has been well observed, that there is no class of life in which
+instances of great virtue and fortitude may not be found; and the
+Justness of the apothegm was fully corroborated here. Cold, bitter and
+tempestuous and terrible as was the day, amidst rain, wind, sleet, and
+hail, there might be seen, in a thoroughfare about the centre of the
+town, a cripple, apparently paralytic from the middle down, seated upon
+the naked street, his legs stretched out before him, hirpling onward; by
+alternately twisting his miserable body from right to left; while, as
+if the softer sex were not to be surpassed in feats of hardihood or
+heroism, a tattered creature, in the shape of woman, without cap, shoe,
+or stocking, accompanied by two naked and shivering children, whose
+artificial lamentations were now lost in those of nature, proceeded up
+the street, in the very teeth of the beating tempest, attempting to sing
+some dismal ditty, with a voice which resembled the imagined shriekings
+of a ghoul, more than the accents of a human being. These two were the
+only individuals who, in the true spirit of hardened imposture, braved
+all the fury of the elements in carrying out their principles--so true
+is it, that a rogue will often advance farther in the pursuit of a
+knavish object, than an honest man will in the attainment of a just one.
+To them may be added the poor fool of the town, Joe Lockhart, who, from
+his childhood, was known to be indifferent to all changes of weather,
+and who now, elated by the festive spirit of a fair day, moved about
+from place to place, without hat or shoe--neither of which he ever
+wore--just with as much indifference as if it had been a day in the
+month of June.
+
+If the inclemency of the day, however, was injurious to the general
+transaction of business, there was one class to whose interests it amply
+contributed--I mean the publicans, and such as opened _shebeen_ houses,
+or erected refreshment tents for the occasion. In a great portion
+of Ireland there are to be found, in all fairs, what the people term
+_spoileen_ tents--that is, tents in which fresh mutton is boiled, and
+sold out, with bread and soup, to all customers. I know not how it
+happens; but be the motive or cause what it may, scarcely any one ever
+goes into a spoileen tent, unless in a mood of mirth and jocularity. To
+eat spoileen seriously, would be as rare a sight as to witness a wife
+dancing on her husband's coffin. It is very difficult, indeed,
+to ascertain the reason why the eating of fresh mutton in such
+circumstances is always associated with a spirit of strong ridicule and
+humor. At all events, nothing can exceed the mirth that is always to be
+found among the parties who frequent such tents. Fun, laughter, jest,
+banter, attack, and repartee fly about in all directions, and the only
+sounds heard are those of light-hearted noise and enjoyment.
+
+Perhaps if the cause of this were closely traced, it might be found
+to consist in a sense of shame, which Paddy good humoredly attempts
+to laugh away. It is well known that the great body of the people pass
+through life, without ever tasting beef or mutton--a, circumstance which
+every one acquainted with the country knows to be true. It is also a
+fact, that nineteen out of every twenty who go in to eat spoileen, are
+actuated more by curiosity than hunger, inasmuch as they consist of such
+persons as have never tasted it before. This, therefore, being generally
+known, and each possessing latent consciousness of its truth, it is
+considered best to take the matter in good humor, and escape the shame
+of the thing, together with the poverty it implies, by turning it into
+ridicule and jest. This indeed, is pretty evident, from the nature
+of the spoileen keeper's observations on being paid, which is
+usually--"Thank you, Barney; you may now considher yourself a
+gintleman;" or if a female--"Long life to you, Bridget; you may now go
+into high life any time."
+
+It is unnecessary to say, that on the day in question, the spoileen
+tents were crowded to suffocation. In general these are pretty large,
+sometimes one, occasionally two fires being kept in each; over these,
+placed upon three large stones, or suspended from three poles, united
+at top, is the pot or pots in which the spoileen is boiled; whilst
+patiently in a corner of the tent, stand the poor invalid sheep, that
+are doomed, as necessity may require, to furnish forth this humorous
+entertainment.
+
+Truth to tell, there are many reasons why this feast is a comic one.
+In the first place, the description of mutton which they get is badly
+calculated to prejudice honest Paddy in favor of that food in general,
+it being' well known that in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred, the
+sacrifice falls upon disease, poverty, and extreme old age; or, if there
+be any manifestation of humanity in the selection, it is--that while the
+tenderer sex is spared, the male one is in general certain to be made
+the victim, but never unless when he has been known to reach a most
+patriarchal length of years. Then the suddenness of the act which
+converts a portion of the venerable patriarch into a component part of
+honest Paddy, is equally remarkable; for it generally happens that the
+animal now standing in a corner of the tent, will in about half an
+hour be undergoing the process of assimilation in his (Paddy's) gastric
+region. The elastic quality of the meat is indeed extraordinary, and
+such as, with the knowledge of that fact, does sometimes render
+Paddy's treat of spoileen to his sweetheart an act of very questionable
+gallantry. Be this as it may, there is scarcely anything in life richer
+than to witness a tent of spoileen eaters in full operation. Tugging,
+pulling, dragging, tearing, swinging of the head from side to side, want
+of success, loss of temper, fatigue of jaw, recovery of good humor, and
+the wolfish rally, mingled with mock curses, loud laughter, shouting and
+singing, all going on together, are the ordinary characteristics of this
+most original banquet.
+
+About the centre of the town stood one of those houses of entertainment
+which holds rank in such towns as a second rate inn. On the day in
+question it was painfully overcrowded, and such was the hubbub of
+loud talk, laughter, singing, roaring, clattering of pewter pots, and
+thumping of tables, that it was almost impossible to hear or understand
+anything in the shape of conversation. To this, however, there was one
+exception. A small closet simply large enough to hold a table, and two
+short forms, opened from a room above stairs looking into the stable
+yard. In this there was a good fire, at which sat two men, being, with
+a bed and small table, nearly as many as it was capable of holding with
+ease.
+
+One of these was a stout, broad-shouldered person, a good deal
+knock-kneed, remarkably sallow in the complexion, with brows black
+and beetling. He squinted, too, with one eye, and what between this
+circumstance, a remarkably sharp but hooked nose, and the lowering
+brows aforesaid, there was altogether about him a singular expression of
+acuteness and malignity. In every sense he was a person against whom
+you would feel disposed to guard yourself, whether in the ordinary
+intercourse of life and its transactions, or still more in the secret
+workings of the darker and more vindictive passions. He was what they
+call a down-looking man; that is, one who in conversation could never
+look you straight in the face, which fact, together with a habit of
+quivering observable in his upper lip, when any way agitated, gave
+unquestionable proof that his cowardice was equal to his malignity, as
+his treachery was to both. His age might be about fifty, or, perhaps
+beyond it.
+
+The other was a tall man, well featured, of a clear fresh complexion,
+a fine blue eye, and altogether, a kind, benevolent expression of
+countenance. He had been rather stout, but not robust, and might,
+perhaps, at the time we write of, be about the same age as his
+companion. He was evidently a man of respectability, well dressed, not
+badly educated, and on the present occasion wore good broadcloth and
+top boots. The contrast between him and the other, was in nothing more
+striking than the honest, joyous spirit of his laughter, which rang
+clearly and mellowly on your ear, leaving behind it an expression of
+candor, light-heartedness, and good nature, that could not be mistaken.
+"It's idle talk to speak about going such a day as this," observed the
+beetle-browed man, who stirred up the fire with something that passed
+for a poker, in reply; "and to tell you the truth, upon my credit, Mr.
+M'Loughlin, I'm not sorry that we happened to meet. You're a man I've
+a sincere regard for, and always had--and on that account--well have
+something more to drink." So saying, he stamped upon the floor, which,
+was exactly over the bar, in order that some one might attend them with
+the liquor.
+
+"I'm obliged to you, Val," replied his companion dryly, "for your good
+opinion of me; but at the same time, God forbid that I should ever
+deserve it--eh? ha, ha, ha. Well, well, let us have some drink, as you
+say, at all events; only it must be at my expense as well as the rest.
+Well, sure enough, you were the devil's whip-thong in your day, and
+if you haven't repented yet, all I can say is, there is little time to
+lose, if you wish to have a bright look up at the last day"--
+
+"Ha, ha, go on, Mr. M'Loughlin, we all know you, the same pleasant
+fellow you ever were, and upon my credit, as good a companion as any
+one could sit with. All I wish is that we had here more of the family on
+both sides, that the boys and girls might have something to whisper to
+one another."
+
+"I didn't care we had, Val, my boy; but how on earth will we get home?
+Indeed such a terrible day I've seldom seen, for many years."
+
+"Faith, it's good to have a dry roof over our heads, and a warm fire
+before us, at any rate. There's many a poor half-drowned devil in the
+fair, would give a trifle to change places with us; there is, upon my
+credit."
+
+In a few minutes the refreshments came in, much to the satisfaction
+of the parties, who felt a strong sense of comfort, on contrasting the
+warmth of their snug little room with the uproar of the storm that raged
+without, and spent its fury upon the cold, bleak, and almost deserted
+streets.
+
+"I am glad, indeed, Mr. M'Loughlin," continued his companion, "that
+I happened to meet with you to-day--you and I are now neighbors, and
+surely we ought to live like neighbors."
+
+"Well," replied M'Loughlin dryly, "and don't we do so? You haven't found
+me troublesome as a neighbor, have you? Eh, Val, my man?"
+
+"No," said the other, "certainly I have--upon my credit I haven't, an'
+that's what I complain of; neither you nor your family associate with me
+or mine."
+
+"Tut, Val, man," replied M'Loughlin, still in the same dry, ironical
+tone as before, "surely it's not long since you came to march us. It's
+only two years and a half since you wormed out the O'Hagans, then the
+farm lay near two years idle--ay--why, man, you're not four months our
+neighbor yet."
+
+"No--not all out; still, Mr. M'Loughlin, somehow you don't treat me or
+my family as neighbors. If you have to borrow anything, no matter what
+it is, you never come to me for it. It was only the other day that you
+wanted a rope to pull that breeding mare of yours out of the drain--and
+yet you sent past me near half a mile, up to Widow Lenehan's to borrow
+it."
+
+"Heavens pity you, Val, for it's a hard case; but every one has their
+troubles, and it seems you are not without your own, poor man--eh--ha!
+ha! ha!--Well, never mind, my friend; you're better off now for all
+that, than when you were only a process-server on the estate; however,
+I'll tell you what, Val the Vulture--you see I can be neighborly
+sometimes--just let me know whenever you stand in need of a rope--mark,
+I don't say whenever you deserve it--and may I never taste worse liquor
+than this, but you shall have it with right good will, hoping still that
+you'll make a proper use of it--ha! ha! ha! Come, man, in the mean time
+take your liquor, an' don't look as if you'd eat me without salt; for I
+tell you if you tried it, you'd find Brian M'Loughlin a tougher morsel
+than you imagine."
+
+"If anybody else spoke to me in the style you do, Brian, I'd not be apt
+to overlook it; upon my credit and reputation I would not."
+
+"No, but you'd look round it may be, ha! ha! ha! but go on, Vulture, who
+minds what I say?"
+
+"Nobody, to be sure, because you make one laugh whether they will or
+not."
+
+"Faith, Vulture dear, and that's what nobody can tax you with; or if
+you do, it's on the wrong side of the mouth you do it--and they say that
+same is but indifferent mirth, Val."
+
+"I wish, Brian, you would sometimes speak seriously, and besides, you're
+always hard, too hard, upon me. Anything I did harshly, it was always in
+the discharge of my duty."
+
+"Never mind, Val, the fewer of those old sores you rip up, the better
+for yourself--I'm not going to put you through your catechism about
+them. If you're wise, let byegones be byegones; take that advice from
+me. Whatever tricks you may have practised, you're now a wealthy man,
+and for the same reason the world will help you forget them, if you keep
+your toe in your pump."
+
+"I _am_ a wealthy man, and can set the world at defiance, if it goes to
+that; yes, Brian, a wealthier man than the world thinks--and as I said,
+I defy it."
+
+"Faith, and you needn't, for the world won't put you to that trouble, at
+least a great part of it, if you were ten times the vulture you are, so
+long as you have a full purse. Eh, do you perceive me? ha! ha! ha!"
+
+"Well, damn the devil, heaven pardon me for swearing, for it's a thing I
+hate----"
+
+"----And yet, many a fat oath you've bolted in your time. Now on the
+nick of your conscience, Val darling, how many Bibles did you wear out,
+by a long and honest course of hard swearing?--eh--ha! ha! ha!"
+
+"Ha! ha! ha! Brian, I see there is little use in speaking to you, or
+being angry with you; you are a devilish pleasant hearty fellow, only
+something a little too rough about the tongue."
+
+"Never mind, Val, by all accounts it would be easy to reckon them; but
+seriously, is it true that the lower joint of your right thumb is horny,
+in consequence of having caught the character of your conscience from
+having kissed it so often?"
+
+"Go on, Brian, go on; to be sure it is; they may say what they like--I
+am not depending upon them, and I care little. But now, Brian, there
+is one thing I will say, and I have long wished for an opportunity of
+saying it."
+
+"That's my bully, out with it; don't be dashed, Val, you'll get over
+your modesty; upon my credit you will--ha! ha! ha!"
+
+"D--n it, you can't be serious for a minute; but no matter, I will
+out with it--here's your health and fireside, in the mean time!" Brian
+merely nodded in reply, but said nothing. "Now you know, Brian, your
+farm and mine lie very snugly beside one another; observe that that's
+what I begin with."
+
+"Very good."
+
+"Again, your family and mine live very close to one another, too."
+
+"Very good."
+
+"Now, what if part of the farms, and part of the families were to become
+united, and get spliced together, eh?"
+
+"Very good, very good."
+
+"Well, but do you really think so, Brian?"
+
+"Go on, if you please, and let us hear more of it; state your case, as
+you say at the sessions."
+
+"Well, then, there's your daughter Mary, a handsome girl, and, by all
+accounts, as good as she is handsome--and there's my son Phil, who,
+excepting the cast (* Squint)--is--but, at any rate, if he's no beauty,
+he's a stout young fellow, for you know yourself that that little
+closeness about the knees is always a sign of strength."
+
+"That little closeness, Val!--why, Vulture darling, isn't one knee sugar
+candy, and the other licking it?--but go on, it's not bad for so far, go
+on; upon my credit it's not."
+
+"I am glad you like it for so far--then seriously, what would you think
+of a marriage between them?"
+
+"Devil a prettier move you could make, Val. As you say, the farms and
+the families lie convenient to one another--and I don't see what's to
+prevent your proposal from being realized. You'll do well for Phil, of
+course--for although he has the squint in both eyes, instead of only in
+one, like yourself--and is twisted very much about the knees, more than
+you are a good deal--still, Val--neighbor Val, as I now may call you--he
+is a stout, left-legged, round-shouldered blade; and I question whether
+the red poll does not become him better than a black one like yours
+would."
+
+"Why I grant you, Brian, that he looks better on horseback than on foot,
+and when mounted on 'Handsome Harry,' with top-boots and spurs, it's
+not on every highway you could meet his equal."
+
+"Devil a lie in that, Val--nor a boy better made to ride or shoot round
+a corner you could not meet in Europe--but never mind; go on, Val--go
+on, my friend; no, faith, on hill or in hollow, it would not be easy to
+match him."
+
+"He'd make an excellent good husband."
+
+"He would not be your son if he did not--well?"
+
+"Well, as to that, if the truth was known, I know where the blame
+would lie--your daughter will not be the shrew and scold to him that my
+blister was to me--upon my credit she won't."
+
+"Devil, a lie in that either, Val--well, well--oh! I'll take my oath she
+won't."
+
+"I don't see why he and she might not be very happy together--you are
+able to do handsomely for her, as report goes."
+
+"And willing, Val, and a bad father I'd be, if I were not."
+
+"Well then, Brian, so far all looks fair, and devilish glad I am that I
+broached the thing at once. I have been thinking of it ever since I came
+to the neighborhood--upon my credit I have.".
+
+"Faith, and so am I glad of it--but what's to be done next, Val
+darling?"
+
+"Why the less time that's lost upon it the better--we must bring the
+youngsters together till they get acquainted--then we can have another
+meeting, and settle the match out of hand. Did you ever see Phil on
+'Handsome Harry?'"
+
+"Didn't I?--to be sure I did--and upon my word, Val, he's a credit to
+the horse he rides, as the horse is to him--a comely couple they are in
+truth. But, Val, or neighbor Val, as I now may call you, don't you think
+it would be better to wind up this business now that our hand's in for
+it? Let us hear what you'll do, and I'll follow you on my part, for
+there's no use in losing time about it--upon my credit there's not."
+
+"What would you think, then, of the farm we're in now--that is, the
+O'Hagan property, as you call it? Suppose I gave him that, what will
+you come down with for the girl? I know it can't be under three
+hundred--come, say three hundred, and it's a match."
+
+"Three hundred! Oh! Val, you're too soft--too moderate--too mild--indeed
+you are--why three hundred would be nothing against the O'Hagan
+property, as you call it--and, indeed, I don't intend to put my daughter
+off under five hundred, and that's nearly double what three is--eh, Val,
+what do you say, upon your credit now?"
+
+"Faith, I'll not quarrel with you if you make it six or eight."
+
+"Well now," said M'Loughlin, rising up, whilst his honest features were
+lit with indignation, "this joke or this impudence on your part, has
+gone far enough--listen to me. What did I or my family do, I ask my
+own conscience in the name of God--what sin did we commit--whom did we
+oppress--whom did we rob--whom did we persecute--that a scoundrel like
+you, the bastard spawn of an unprincipled profligate, remarkable only
+for drunkenness, debauchery, and blasphemy--what, I say, did I and my
+family do, that you, his son, who were, and are to this day, the low,
+mean, willing scourge of every oppressor, the agent of their crimes--the
+instrument of their villianies--you who undermined the honest man--who
+sold and betrayed the poor man--who deceived and misled the widow and
+her orphans, and rose upon their ruin--who have robbed your employers
+as well as those you were employed against--a double traitor--steeped in
+treachery, and perjured a thousand times to the core of your black and
+deceitful heart--what crime, I say again, did I or mine commit--that
+we, whose name and blood has been without a stain for a thousand years,
+should suffer the insult that you now have offered Us--eh, look me in
+the face now if you can, and answer me if you are able?"
+
+M'Cloughlin as he concluded, calmly folded his arms, and looked at his
+companion resolutely but sternly. The other, to do him justice, did
+certainly raise his head, and fix his evil eye upon him for a moment--it
+dropped after a single glance; in truth, he quailed before M'Loughlin;
+his upper lip, as usual, quivered--his brow lowered, and looked black as
+midnight, whilst all the rest of his face became the color of ashes.
+In fact, that white smile, which is known to be the very emblem of
+cowardice and revenge, sat upon his countenance, stamping upon it at
+once the character of the spectre and the demon--a being to be both
+feared and hated.
+
+"Well, Brian M'Loughlin," returned the other, "hear me."
+
+"Don't dare to Brian me, sir," returned M'Loughlin; "I'm a very humble
+man, and ought to be an humble man, for I know well what a sinner I
+am before God--but for all that, and if it were against even
+religion itself--I feel too proud to suffer you to speak to me as you
+do--no--don't Brian me, but listen and let me show you what you are, and
+what you have been; I can't say what you will be, that does not lie with
+any but God."
+
+"Well," said M'Clutchy, "go on; I now can hear you, and what is more, I
+wish to hear you--and whisper--speak your worst."
+
+It is said, that both cowardice and despair have their courage, and it
+would appear from the manner and action of this man, that he now felt
+actuated by some vague feeling resembling that which we have described.
+He rose up and said,
+
+"Brian M'Loughlin, do you think I ever can forget this?"
+
+"What do you mean by that," said M'Loughlin, "look me in the face, I
+say, and tell me what you mean by it. I'm a man, and an honest man, and
+there's no treachery about me."
+
+The sternness with which he spoke, made the other quail again.
+
+"There was little in it," he replied, in a rebuked but cold and
+malignant spirit; "I didn't think you were so violent. I bore a great
+deal from you this day, Mr. M'Louglin--a great deal, indeed, and so
+patiently as I bore it too; upon my credit I did."
+
+M'Loughlin made no reply, but stamped on the floor, in order to bring up
+some person to whom he might pay the reckoning.
+
+"You need not stamp," said the other, "this is my share of the
+reckoning."
+
+"Your share, no: I told you before, it must not be yours. I wouldn't
+have it said, that bit or sup, paid for by your ill-gotten wealth,
+should ever cross my lips--no, no."
+
+The waiter, or rather waitress, a red-haired, barefooted wench, now came
+up.
+
+"Here," said M'Loughlin, "take the refreshments we've had last out of
+that, and keep the change to yourself. I have settled what we've had
+before, as well as this."
+
+"And why not allow me to settle for this?" asked M'Clutchy.
+
+"Because," replied this honest and respectable man, "I could not swallow
+a thimbleful of anything paid for by your money; what is it? If I did I
+would dream for weeks of all that you have done, or if I didn't dream,
+the sorrows and the wrongs of my near relative, Widow O'Hagan and her
+family, would prevent me from sleeping; the Kellys that you've driven to
+beggary--The Gormleys that you got put out--good God! and who now holds
+their places? Your own cousin. It's useless, however, to mention all
+you've done. You, Val the Vulture, as the people call you, are one of
+those scourges that rise and flourish upon the distresses of the poor,
+and the injustice that you yourself bring upon them by your falsehood
+and calumny; and all because the property they live on is neglected by
+those who have a right to look after it. Ay, there is another of your
+white and cowardly laughs. Well, you know that there is not a neglected
+estate in the country but can produce another vulture like yourself,
+playing the same heartless pranks upon the poor people--tying,
+misrepresenting, swaggering over and robbing them, and that, too, in the
+open face of day, merely because you think there is no one to bring you
+to an account.
+
+"Now go home," he added, "and when next you want to get a wife for your
+spanking son, that's likely to become a squireen upon our hands, don't
+come to Brian M'Loughlin, who knows you from the paring of the nails to
+the core of the heart."
+
+M'Glutchy looked at him and laughed again; "before you go, at all
+events," he replied, "I hope you remember the observation I made when I
+introduced the discourse."
+
+"I can't say I do," said M'Loughlin, "but I suppose you will let us hear
+it."
+
+"I will," replied Val, and his brow darkened as before. "It was
+this--your farm and mine lie very snugly together--observe, I said,
+'_that's what I begin with_'--didn't I say that?"
+
+"You did, and now what else do you say?"
+
+"The very same thing--that _your farm, and mine lie snugly
+together_--and mark me, Mr. M'Loughlin--"
+
+"I do--oh, upon my credit I do--ha, ha, ha!"
+
+"Than _that's what I end with_."
+
+"Ah," replied M'Loughlin indignantly, "you think you have the ball at
+your own foot, now that old Topertoe is gone, and his son has made you
+his under agent. A nice job indeed it was, that transformed old drunken
+Tom Topertoe into Lord Cumber, and made his son, the present Lord, too
+proud to live on his own estate. However, I'd be glad to see the honest
+man that ever envied the same old Tom his title, when we all know that
+he got it for selling his country. As for you, Vulture, I defy and
+despise you; when my rent's due, thank God I am able to pay it, so you
+may do your worst. While Mr. Hickman's over you, the tenants have some
+protection, in spite of your villainy, you unprincipled scoundrel."
+
+"Our farms lie snugly together, Mr: M'Loughlin, and _that's what I end
+with_."
+
+It was from the town of Castle Cumber, which we have described at the
+opening of our narrative, that old Tom Topertoe, a squire of the true
+Irish kidney, took his title. Topertoe, or Lord Castle Cumber, as we
+must now call him, like many others, had the high honor of being a Union
+Lord--that, is to say his attachment to his principles was so steady,
+that he did not hesitate to sell his country for a title, and we may
+add, something besides. It is not our intention, at this distance of
+time, to discuss the merits of either the union or its repeal; but in
+justice to truth and honor, or, perhaps, we should rather say, fraud and
+profligacy, we are constrained to admit, that there is not to be found
+in the annals of all history, any political negotiation based upon such
+rank and festering corruption, as was the legislative union. Had the
+motives which actuated the English government towards this country been
+pure, and influenced by principles of equality and common justice, they
+would never have had recourse to such unparalleled profligacy. This is
+self-evident, for those who seek an honorable end will scorn to obtain
+it by foul and dishonorable means. The conduct of England, therefore, in
+this base and shameless traffic, is certainly a _prima face_ evidence
+of her ultimate policy--a policy blacker in the very simplicity of its
+iniquity than its worst enemies can paint it, and so obvious in its
+character, that we question whether a man could be found, of ordinary
+information, belonging to any party, capable at this moment of
+deliberately and conscientiously defending it, so far as pertains to
+this transaction. But enough of this.
+
+Before the union, old Topertoe was master of three votes--that is, he
+sat himself for the county, and returned members for two boroughs. He
+was known by the sobriquet of Pater Noster Tom--not from any disposition
+to devotion; but because, whether in parliament, on the hustings, or,
+indeed, anywhere else, he never made a speech longer than the Lord's
+Prayer. And yet, short as it was, it generally puzzled the shrewdest
+and most sagacious of his audience to understand it. Still, though not
+without his faults, he was by no means a bad landlord, as landlords
+went. 'Tis true he was fond of his wine and of his wench--as a proof of
+which, it was well known that he seldom or ever went to,bed with less
+than four or five bottles under his belt; and as touching the latter,
+that he had two agents in pay to cater for his passions. In both these
+propensities he was certainly countenanced by the usages and moral
+habits of the times; and the truth is, he grew rather popular than
+otherwise, precisely on account of them. He was bluff, boisterous, and
+not ill-natured--one of that bygone class who would horsewhip a tenant
+to-day and fight a duel for him to-morrow. Above all things, he resided
+on his estate, knew all his tenantry by name and person, and contracted,
+by degrees, a kind of anomalous attachment for them, merely because they
+were his property, and voted and fought for him at elections, and
+often fought with him touching their relative positions of landlord and
+tenant. Indeed, we question whether he would not enter into a quarrel as
+readily for a tenant as he would for a favorite dog or horse; and we are
+inclined to think, that to do him justice, he laid nearly as much value
+on the one as on the other--a circumstance which we dare say several of
+our modern landlords, both resident and absentee, will consider as, on
+our part, a good-humored stretch of fiction.
+
+His speech at elections absolutely became a proverb in the country; and,
+indeed, when we remember the good-natured license of the times, as
+many still may, together with the singular blending of generosity
+and violence, horsewhipping and protection, mirth and mischief which
+characterized the bearing of such men as Topertoe, we are fain to think,
+to vary the proverb a little, that he might have spoken more and fared
+worse.
+
+"Here I am again, ye blaggards; your own ould Topertoe, that never had
+a day's illness, but the gout, bad luck to it. Damn your bloods, ye
+affectionate rascals, sure you love me, and I love you, and 't isn't
+Gully Preston (his opponent) that can cut our loves in two. No, boys,
+he's not the blade to do that, at any rate! Hurra then, ye vagabones;
+ould Tom Topertoe for ever! He loves his bottle and his wench, and will
+make any rascal quiver on a daisy that would dare to say bow to your
+blankets. Now, Gully Preston, make a speech--if you can! Hurra for Tom
+Topertoe, that never had a day's illness, but the gout, bad luck to it!
+and don't listen to Gully Preston, boys! Hurra!"
+
+This speech, from which he never varied, was waited for at elections
+with a vehemence of mirth and a force of popularity which no eloquence
+brought against him could withstand. Indeed, it was perfectly well known
+that it alone returned him, for when upon an occasion of considerable
+doubt and difficulty, the two parties of the county having been
+considered as equally balanced, he was advised by some foolish
+friend, or enemy in disguise, to address them in a serious speech, the
+consequences were near proving disastrous to his interests. When
+he commenced--"Gentlemen--upon an occasion of such important
+difficulty"--there was for about a quarter of a minute a dead
+silence--that of astonishment--Topertoe, however, who had stuck fast,
+was obliged to commence again---"Gentlemen--upon an occasion, of
+such--" but it would not do, the groaning, shouting, hooting, and
+yelling, were deafening for some minutes, much to the gratification of
+his opponent. At length there was something like a pause, and several
+voices shouted out--"what the divil do you mane, Tom?" "He's showin'
+the garran bane at last," shouted another--"desartin' his colors!"--"oh!
+we're gintlemen now it seems, an' not his own blaggards, as we used to
+be--Tiper-to'e's vagabones that stood by him--oh no! Tom, to hell wid
+you and your gintlemen--three cheers for Gully Preston!"
+
+Tom saw it was nearly over with him, and Preston's hopes ran high.
+"Aisy, boys," said the other, resuming his old, and, indeed, his natural
+manner--"Aisy, ye vagabones--Topertoe's ould speech for ever! Here I am
+again, ye blaggards, that never had a day's illness but the gout,
+bad luck to it!" &c, &c. This was enough, the old feeling of fun and
+attachment kindled up--the multitude joined him in his speech, precisely
+as a popular singer is joined by the gods of the upper gallery in
+some favorite air, and no sooner was it concluded, than the cheering,
+throwing up of hats, and huzzaing, gave ample proof that he had
+completely recovered his lost ground, and set himself right with the
+people.
+
+Such is a brief of old Topertoe, the first Lord of Castle Cumber, who,
+by the way, did not wear his honors long, the gout, to which he was a
+martyr, having taken him from under his coronet before he had it a year
+on his brow. He was one of the men peculiar to his times, or rather who
+aided in shaping them; easy, full of strong but gross impulses, quick
+and outrageous in resentment, but possessed of broad uncouth humor, and
+a sudden oblivion of his passion. Without reading or education--he was
+coarse, sensual, careless, and extravagant, having no stronger or purer
+principle to regulate him than that which originated in his passions
+or his necessities. Of shame or moral sanction he knew nothing, and
+consequently held himself amenable to the world on two points only--the
+laws of duelling and those of gaming. He would take an insult from no
+man, and always paid his gambling debts with honor; but beyond that, he
+neither feared nor cared for anything in this world--and being a member
+of the Hellfire Club, he did not believe in the other. In fact he was
+the very man on whose peculiar temperament and character a corrupt and
+wily politician might expect to impress his own principles with success.
+Topertoe was consequently not only the very man to sell his country, but
+to sell, it at the highest price, and be afterwards the first to laugh,
+as he did, at his own corruption.
+
+Of his eldest son, who of course succeeded to his rank and property,
+there is not so much to be said at present, because he will appear, to
+some extent, as an actor in our drama. It is enough then to say here
+that he inherited his father's vices, purged of their vulgarity and
+grossness, without a single particle of his uncertain and capricious
+good nature. In his manners he appeared more of the gentleman; was
+lively, shallow, and versatile; but having been educated at an English
+school and an English college, he felt, or affected to feel, all the
+fashionable prejudices of the day and of his class against his native
+country. He was an absentee from both pride and inclination, and it is
+not surprising then that he knew but little of Ireland, and that little
+was strongly to its disadvantage.
+
+Another brother there was, whose unpretending character requires little
+else than merely that he should be named. The honorable Alexander
+Topertoe, who was also educated in England, from the moment his father
+stained what he conceived to be the honor of their family by receiving a
+title and twenty thousand pounds, as a bribe for his three votes against
+a native parliament--hung his head in mortification and shame, and
+having experienced at all times little else than neglect from his father
+and brother, he hurried soon afterwards to the continent with a heavy
+heart and a light purse, where for the present we must leave him.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II.--Birth and Origin of Mr. M'Clutchy
+
+Christian Forgiveness--Mr. Hickman, the Head Agent--Darby O'Drive, the
+Bailiff--And an Instructive Dialogue.
+
+
+Time, which passes with a slow but certain pace, had already crept twice
+around his yearly circle since the fair already described in the town
+of Castle Cumber. The lapse of three years, however, had made no change
+whatsoever in the heart or principles of Mr. Valentine M'Clutchy,
+although he had on his external manner and bearing. He now assumed more
+of the gentleman, and endeavored to impress himself upon those who came
+in contact with him, as a person of great authority and importance.
+One morning after the period just mentioned had! elapsed, he and his
+graceful son, "Mister Phil," were sitting in the parlor of Constitution
+Cottage, for so they were pleased to designate a house which had no
+pretension whatever to that unpretending appellation.
+
+"So father," said Phil, "you don't forget that such was the treatment
+M'Loughlin gave you!"
+
+"Why, I remember it, Phil; but you know, Phil, I'm a patient and a
+forgiving man notwithstanding; you know that Phil;--ha, ha, ha!"
+
+"That was certainly the worst case came across us yet," replied the son,
+"none of the rest ventured to go so far, even when you had less power
+than you have now."
+
+"I didn't tell you all, Phil," continued the father, following up the
+same train of thought.
+
+"And why not," said Phil, "why should you conceal anything from me?"
+
+"Because," replied the other, "I think you have heard enough for the
+present."
+
+The fact was, that M'Clutchy's consciousness of the truth contained
+in M'Loughlin's indignant reproaches, was such as prevented him from
+repeating them, even to his son, knowing right well that had he done
+so they could not exactly have looked each other in the face without
+sensations regarding their own conduct, which neither of them wished to
+avow. There is a hypocrisy in villainy sometimes so deep that it cannot
+bear to repeat its own iniquity, even in the presence of those who are
+aware of it, and in this predicament stood Valentine M'Clutchy.
+
+"Maybe he has relented," said Phil, "or that he will give me his pretty
+daughter yet--and you know they have the cash. The linen manufactory of
+M'Loughlin and Harman is flourishing."
+
+"No, no, Phil," replied the father, "you must give her up--that's
+past--but no matter, I'll forgive him."
+
+Phil looked at him and smiled. "Come, come, father," said he, "be
+original--that last is a touch of M'Slime--of honest Solomon. Keep back
+the forgiveness yet awhile, may be they may come round--begad, and upon
+my honor and reputation, I shouldn't wish to lose the girl--no, father,
+don't forgive them yet awhile."
+
+"Phil, we'll do better for you, boy--don't be a fool, I say, but have
+sense--I tell you what, Phil," continued his father, and his face
+assumed a ghastly, deadly look, at once dark and pallid, "listen to
+me;--I'll forgive him, Phil, until the nettle, the chick-weed, the
+burdock, the fulsome preshagh, the black fungus, the slimiest weed that
+grows--aye, till the green mould of ruin itself, grows upon the spot
+that is now his hearth--till the winter rain beats into, and the whiter
+wind howls over it."
+
+"No marriage, then," said Phil. "No marriage; but what keeps Darby
+O'Drive? the rascal should have been here before--oh no," said he,
+looking at his watch, "he has better than half an hour yet."
+
+"What steps do you intend to take, father?"
+
+"Phil, when I'm prepared, you shall know them. In the meantime leave
+me--I must write to M'Slime, or send to him. M'Slime's useful at a hint
+or suggestion, but, with all his wiliness and hypocrisy, not capable of
+carrying a difficult matter successfully out; he overdoes everything by
+too much caution, and consequently gets himself into ridiculous scrapes,
+besides I cannot and will not place full confidence in him. He is too
+oily, and cants too much, to be trusted; I think, still, we may use him
+and overreach him into the bargain. Are you going into Castle Cumber?"
+
+"I am."
+
+"Well, drop these couple of letters in the post office, and tell Rankin
+he must have the Garts finished by Monday next, at the farthest, or it
+will be worse for him. By the way, I have that fellow in my eye too--he
+had the assurance to tell me the other day, that he could not possibly
+undertake the carts until he had M'Loughlin's job at the manufactory
+finished. Off with you now, I see O'Drive and Hanlon coming up."
+
+Graceful Phil in a few minutes was mounted in his usual lofty state on
+"Handsome Harry," and dashed off to Castle Cumber.
+
+It may not be improper here, before we proceed farther, to give the
+reader some additional knowledge of the parentage and personal history
+of Mr. Valentine M'Clutchy, as well as a brief statement concerning the
+Castle Cumber property, and the gentleman who acted in the capacity of
+head agent.
+
+The mother, then, of Valentine M'Clutchy, or as he was more generally
+called Val the Vulture, was daughter to the county goaler, Christie
+Clank by name, who had risen regularly through all the gradations of
+office, until the power of promotion could no farther go. His daughter,
+Kate Clank, was a celebrated beauty, and enjoyed a considerable extent
+of local reputation, independently of being a great favorite with the
+junior portion of the grand jury. Among the latter, however, there was
+one, a young squire of very libertine principles, named Deaker, whose
+suit to the fair Miss Clank proved more successful than those of his
+competitors, and the consequence was the appearance of young Val. The
+reader, therefore, already perceives that M'Clutchy's real name was
+Deaker; but perhaps he is not aware that, in the times of which we
+write, it was usual for young unmarried men of wealth not to suffer
+their illegitimate children to be named after them. There were, indeed,
+many reasons for this. In the first place, the mere fact of assuming the
+true name, was a standing argument of the father's profligacy. Secondly,
+the morals of the class and the period were so licentious, that the
+legitimate portion of a family did not like to be either outnumbered or
+insulted by their namesakes and illegitimate relatives, almost at
+every turn of the public roads. In the third place, a young man of
+this description could not, when seeking for a wife, feel the slightest
+inclination to have a living catalogue of his immoralities enumerated
+to her, under the names of Tom, or Dick, or Val so and so, all his
+children. This, of course, was an involuntary respect paid to modesty,
+and perhaps the strongest argument for suppressing the true name. The
+practice, however, was by no means universal; but in frequent instances
+it existed, and Val the Vulture's was one of them. He was named after
+neither father or mother, but after his grandmother, by the gaoler's
+side. Deaker would not suffer his name to be assumed; and so far as
+his mother was concerned, the general tenor of her life rendered the
+reminiscence of her's anything but creditable to her offspring. With
+respect to his education, Val's gratitude was principally due to his
+grandfather Clank, who had him well instructed. He himself, from the
+beginning, was shrewd, clever, and intelligent, and possessed the power,
+in a singular degree, of adapting himself to his society, whenever he
+felt it his interest to do so. He could, indeed, raise or depress his
+manners in a very surprising degree, and with an effort that often
+occasioned astonishment. On the other hand, he was rapacious,
+unscrupulous, cowardly, and so vindictive, that he was never known to
+forgive an injury. These are qualities to which, when you add natural
+adroitness and talent, you have such a character as has too frequently
+impressed itself, with something like the agreeable sensations produced
+by a red hot burning iron, upon the distresses, fears, and necessities
+of the Irish people.
+
+M'Clutchy rose from the humble office of process-server to that of
+bailiff's follower, bailiff, head-bailiff, barony constable, until,
+finally, he felt himself a kind of factotum on the Castle Cumber
+property; and in proportion as he rose, so did his manners rise with
+him. For years before his introduction to our readers, he was the
+practical manager of the estate; and so judiciously did he regulate
+his own fortunes on it, that without any shameless or illegal breach of
+honesty, he actually contrived to become a wealthy man, and to live in
+a respectable manner. Much, however, will have more, and Val was
+rapacious. On finding himself comparatively independent, he began to
+take more enlarged, but still very cautious measures to secure some of
+the good things of the estate to him and his. This he was the better
+able to do, as he had, by the apparent candor of his manner, completely
+wormed himself into the full confidence of the head agent--a gentleman
+of high honor and integrity, remarkable alike for humanity and
+benevolence; but utterly without suspicion. Two or three farms, whose
+leases dropped, he most iniquitously took into his own hands, and so
+far wheedled the agent, that he induced that gentleman to think he was
+rendering a service to the property by doing so. The tenantry now
+began to murmur--a complaint came here, and another there--here was an
+instance of private and disguised oppression; and this was followed by
+a, vindictive attempt to injure either the property or character of some
+one who had the courage to tell him what he thought of his conduct.
+
+Val apprehending that he might be out-borne by too powerful a mass
+of testimony, contrived just then, through his misrepresentations to the
+agent, who still confided in him, and by the political influence of
+his father, the squire, who was the landlord's strongest electioneering
+supporter in the county, to get himself formally appointed under-agent.
+Feeling now quite confident in his strength, and that his hold on the
+prejudices, and, we may add, the ignorance of the absentee landlord, was
+as strong, if not stronger than those of the agent himself, he began
+to give a greater and less guarded scope to his natural principles.
+Mr. Hickman, the agent, had been strongly disgusted by the political
+profligacy with which the union was carried; and had, on more than one
+occasion, intimated a doubt whether, as an honest man, he could render
+political support to any one who had participated in its corruption or
+recognized the justice of those principles on which it had been
+carried. All this gave M'Clutchy that imperturbable insolence which is
+inseparable from petty tyranny and licensed extortion. Day after day did
+his character come out in all its natural deformity. The outcry against
+him was not now confined to this portion of the property, or that--it
+became pretty general; and, perhaps, at the time we have brought him on
+the stage, there was not a man in Ireland, holding the situation he did,
+who was more feared and more detested.
+
+Some time previous to this, however, Hickman's eyes were opened to his
+undisguised character, and what he could do he did. On finding that the
+Vulture was reviving all the oppressive usages with which property
+in Ireland is so penally taxed, he immediately gave orders that such
+exactions should be discontinued by M'Clutchy, and resisted by the
+tenants. In spite of all this, however, there were upon the property
+many timid persons, who, dreading his malignity of purpose, still
+continued to yield to his avarice and rapacity, that which nothing else
+but a dread of his vengeance could extort from them. Thus did he feather
+his nest at the expense of their terrors.
+
+Hickman, who had also been agent to old Topertoe, felt a kind of
+personal attachment to that good-humored reprobate, so long as he
+believed him to be honest. Old Tom's venality, however, at the union,
+made him rather sick of the connection, and the conduct, or rather
+expensive profligacy of the young absentee Lord, rendered his situation,
+as an honest and humane agent, one of great pain to himself, considering
+his position between landlord and tenant.
+
+He knew besides, that many men of his class had taken most scandalous
+advantages of the embarrassments which their dishonesty had occasioned
+in the affairs of their employers, and lent them their own rents in the
+moments of distress, in order to get a lien on their property. For this
+reason, and out of a feeling of honor and self-respect, Mr. Hickman had
+made it a point of principle to lend the young Lord, no money under any
+circumstances. As far as he could legitimately, and within the ordinary
+calculations of humanity, feed Lord Cumber's prodigality of expenditure
+he did it. This, however, was not exactly the kind of agent which his
+lordship wanted, and however highly he respected, and honored him, still
+that direful word necessity goaded him into a forgetfulness of his own
+real interests, and of what was due to Hickman. He wanted an agent
+with less feeling, less scruple, less independence, and more of that
+accommodating principle which would yield itself to, and go down with,
+the impetuous current of his offensive vices, and satisfy their cravings
+even at his own ruin. Such, then, was M'Clutchy--such the position of
+Mr. Hickman, the agent--and such the general state of the Castle Cumber
+property. As to the principles and necessities of its proprietor, if
+they are not already known, we may assure our readers that they soon
+will be.
+
+Constitution Cottage, M'Clutchy's residence, was, in fact, no cottage at
+all, as we have said, but a very respectable house, and of considerable
+size. Attached to it was an extensive yard and office houses, an
+excellent garden, orchard, pigeon house, and everything, in fact, that
+could constitute substantial comfort and convenience. It was situated
+beside a small clump of old beeches, that sheltered it from the
+north--to the front lay, at a few miles distance, a range of fine
+mountains--and between them stretched as rich a valley, both in
+fertility and beauty, as the eye of man could rest upon. The ground
+before the door fell by an easy and gradual descent, until a little
+further down it reached a green expanse of level meadow, through which
+a clear river wound its lingering course, as if loth to pass away from
+between the rich and grassy banks that enclosed it. It was, in fact, a
+spot of that calm and perfectly rural character which draws the heart
+unconsciously to the secret charm that rests upon it, and which even the
+casual traveler leaves behind him with regret. Some improvements were
+at the present time in an incipient state--such as plantations--garden
+walls--and what seemed the lines of an avenue, or approach to the house,
+which, by the way, stood in the centre of a farm that consisted of about
+eighty Irish acres.
+
+At length a single knock came, which was given by O'Drive, for Hanlon,
+who was his assistant, durst not attempt such a thing in his presence;
+and if ever a knock conveyed the duplicity of the man who gave it, that
+did. Though, as we said, but a single one, yet there was no mistaking
+its double meaning. It was impudent and servile; it was impudent, as
+much as to say to the servants, "why don't you open the door quickly for
+a man who is so deep in your master's confidence as I am?" while to that
+master himself, it said, or seemed to say, "I am your creature, your
+instrument, your slave, ready to execute any oppression, any hardship,
+or villainy, on which you can employ me."
+
+It is said, and we believe with truth, that in military life no officer
+is so severe and oppressive as he who has risen from the ranks, and been
+most obsequious there. We do not doubt it, for the principle is a strong
+one in human nature, and is by no means confined to either the army or
+navy. At all events,'shuffling, and cringing, and slinking Darby O'Drive
+presented himself to Val the Vulture. There was a downcast, cowardly,
+shy, uneasy, expression in his blank, straggling features, that seemed
+to say, for God's sake spare my very life--don't annihilate me--here
+I am--you see through me--heart, spirit, and soul--body, lungs, and
+lights--could I tell _you_ a lie? No. Could I deceive you--such a man as
+you, that can look through me as if I was a lanthorn, or a pane of
+glass without a bull's eye in it. No! only let me live and I'll do your
+bidding.
+
+"Well," said Val, in a sharp, imperious;one, "you're punctual for a
+wonder."
+
+"God be praised for that," replied Darby, wiping the top of his nose
+with the finger and thumb of an old mitten, "heaven be praised that I'm
+not late."
+
+"Hold your damned canting, tongue, you knave, what place is this for
+it?"
+
+"Knave! well I am then."
+
+"Yes, you know you are--you are all knaves--every bailiff is a
+knave--ahem--unless, indeed, one in a thousand."
+
+"It's truth, indeed, plaise your honor."
+
+"Not but there's worse than you after all, and be damned to you."
+
+"An' betther, sir, too, i' you please, for sure, God help me, I'm not
+what I ought to be."
+
+"Well, mend then, why don't you? for you want it. Come now, no jaw, I
+tell you, but answer me what I am about to ask you; not a word now."
+
+"Well, no then, plaise your honor, I won't in throth."
+
+"Did you warn the townland of Ballymackscud?"
+
+"Yis, plaise your honor."
+
+"Are they ready--have they the rent?"
+
+"Only some o' them, sir,--an other some is axin' for time, the thieves."
+
+"Who are asking for time?"
+
+"Why the O'Shaughrans, sir--hopin', indeed, that your honor will let
+them wait till the markets rises, an not be forced to sell the grain
+whin the prices is so low now that it would ridin them--but it's
+wondherful the onraisonableness of some people. Says I, 'his honor, Mr.
+M'Clutchy, is only doin' his duty; but a betther hearted or a kinder man
+never bruk the world's bread than he is to them that desarves it at
+his hands;' so, sir, they began to--but--well, well, it's no matther--I
+tould them they were wrong--made it plain to them--but they wouldn't be
+convinced, say what I might."
+
+"Why, what did they say, were they abusing me--I suppose so?"
+
+"Och! the poor sowls, sure it was only ignorance and foolishness on
+their part--onraisonable cratures all or most of them is."
+
+"Let me know at once what they said, you knave, or upon my honor and
+soul I'll turn you out of the room and bring in Hanlon."
+
+"Plaise your honor, he wasn't present--I left him outside, in regard
+that I didn't think he was fit to be trust--a safe with--no matther,
+'twas for a raison I had." He gave a look at M'Clutchy as he spoke,
+compounded of such far and distant cunning, scarcely perceptible--and
+such obvious, yet retreating cowardice, scarcely perceptible also---that
+no language could convey any notion of it.
+
+"Ah!" said Val, "you are a neat lad--but go on--what did they say, for I
+must have it out of you."
+
+"That I may die in happiness, your honor, but I'm afeard to tell
+you--but, sure, if you'd give your promise, sir--your bright word of
+honor, that you'd not pay me off for it, I'll tell you."
+
+"Ah! you d----d crawling reptile, out with it--I won't pay you off."
+
+[Illustration: PAGE 142-- there's as many curses before you in hell]
+
+"Well, then, here it is--oh! the curse o' Cromwell on them this day,
+for an ungrateful pack! they said, your honor, that--bad luck to them I
+pray--that there wasn't so black-hearted a scoundrel on the face of the
+airth as your four quarthers--that the gallows is gapin' for you--and
+that there's as many curses before you in hell as 'ud blisther a
+griddle."
+
+M'Clutchy's face assumed its usual expression of diabolical malignity,
+whilst, at the same time, he gave a look so piercing at Darby, as if
+suspecting that the curse, from its peculiar character, was at least
+partially his own invention,--that the latter, who stood like a
+criminal, looking towards the floor, felt precisely what was going
+forward in the other's mind, and knew that he had nothing else for
+it but to look him steadily in the face, as a mark of his perfect
+innocence. Gradually, therefore, and slowly he raised his small gray
+eyes until they met those of M'Clutchy, and thus the gaze continued
+for nearly a minute between them, and that with such steadiness on both
+sides, that they resembled a mesmeric doctor and his patient, rather
+than anything else to which we could compare them. On the part of
+M'Clutchy the gaze was that of an inquisitor looking into the heart of
+him whom he suspected; on that of Darby, the eye, unconscious of evil,
+betrayed nothing but the purest simplicity and candor.
+
+And yet, when we consider that Darby most unquestionably did not only
+ornament, but give peculiar point to the opinions expressed by the
+tenantry against the Vulture, perhaps we ought to acknowledge that of
+the two he possessed a larger share of histrionic talent.
+
+At length M'Clutchy, whose eye, for reasons with which the reader is
+already acquainted, was never either a firm or a steady one, removed it
+from Darby, who nevertheless followed it with a simple but pertinacious
+look, as much as to say, I have told you truth, and am now waiting your
+leisure to proceed.
+
+"What do you stare at?" said M'Clutchy, strongly disposed to vent his
+malignity on the next object to him; "and, you beggarly scoundrel, what
+did you say to that? Tell me, or I'll heave you, head foremost, through
+the window?"
+
+"Why," replied Darby, in a quiet, confident, and insinuating tone, "I
+raisoned wid them--raisoned wid them like a Christian. 'Now, Sheemus
+O'Shaughran,' says I, 'you've said what I know to be a lie. I'm not the
+man to put ill between you and his honor, Mr. M'Clutchy, but at the same
+time,' says I, 'I'm his sarvint, and as an honest man I must do my duty.
+I don't intend to mintion a syllable of what you said this day; but as
+his sarvint, and gettin' bread through him, and undher him, I can't, nor
+I won't, suffer his honor to be backbitten before his own face--for it's
+next to that. Now,' says I, 'be guided by me, and all will be right. In
+the first place, you know, he's entitled to _duty-fowl_*--in the next
+place, he's entitled to _duty-work_.' 'Ay, the landlord is,' said they,
+'but not the Vul----' 'Whisht,' says I, in a friendly whisper, puttin'
+my hand across Dan's mouth, an' winkin' both my eyes at him; 'send his
+honor down a pair of them fine fat turkeys--I know his honor's fond
+o' them; but that's not all,' says I--'do you wish to have a friend in
+coort? I know you do. Well and good--he's drawing gravel to make a new
+avenue early next week, so, Sheemus O'Shaughran, if you wish to have
+two friends in coort--a great one and a little one'--manin' myself, God
+pardon me, for the little one, your honor--'you will,' says I 'early on
+next Monday mornin', send down a pair of horses and carts, and give him
+a week's duty work. Then,' says I, 'lave the rest to _somebody_, for I
+won't name names.'--No, your honor, I did'nt bring Hanlon in.--By the
+same token, as a proof of it, there's young Bandy Shaughran, the son,
+wid a turkey under aich arm, comin'up to the hall door."
+
+     * These were iniquitous exactions, racked from the poor
+     tenantry by the old landlords or their agents.
+
+"Well," proceeded M'Clutchy, without a single observation, "did you call
+on the Slevins?"
+
+"Yes, sir; they're ready."
+
+"The Magonnels?"
+
+"Not ready, sir; but a pair of geese, and two men on next Thursday and
+Saturday. On Friday they must go to market to buy two _slips_." (* young
+pigs).
+
+"Widow Gaffney?"
+
+"Not ready, sir; but that I may never die in sin, a 'cute shaver."
+
+"Why so--what did she say?"
+
+"Oh, Mr. Hickman, sir, the head agent, your honor; that's the go.
+Throth, the same Mr. Hickman is--but, God forbid, sir, I'd spake a word
+against the absent; but any way, he's a good round thrifle, one way or
+the other, out of your pocket, from Jinny-warry to December."
+
+"Darby, my good man, and most impertinent scoundrel, if you wish
+to retain your present situation, never open your lips against that
+excellent gentleman, Mr. Hickman. Mark my words--out you go, if I ever
+discover that you mention him with disrespect."
+
+"Well, I won't then; and God forgive me for spakin' the truth--when it's
+not right."
+
+"Did you see the Mulhollands?"
+
+"Mr. Hickman again, sir, an' bad luck to---- Beg pardon, sir, I forgot.
+Throth, sir, when I mentioned the duty work an' the new aveny, they
+whistled at you."
+
+"Whistled at me!"
+
+"Yes, sir; an' said that Mr. Hickman tould them to give you neither duty
+fowl nor duty work, but to do their own business, and let you do yours.
+Ay, and 'twas the same from all the rest."
+
+"Well," said Val, going to the window and looking abroad for a minute
+or two,--"well--so much for Ballymackscud; now for its next neighbor,
+Ballymackfud."
+
+"Mr. Hickman again, sir. The divil sweep the same Hickman, any way,"
+said Darby, in an aside, which he knew the other could easily hear. "Out
+of the whole townland, sir, all I got was two men for the aveny--a goose
+from Barney Scadden, and her last ten, along wid half-a-dozen eggs, from
+that dacent creature, widow M'Murt. Throth four fine little clildre she
+has, if they had anything on them, or anything to keep body and sowl
+together."
+
+"You warned them all, of course?"
+
+"Every sowl in the townland of Ballymackt 'ud; and there's the upshot.
+But it's all Mr. Hickman, sir; for he tould them--'I will have none of
+this work,' says he; 'the tenants musn't be harrished and fleeshed
+in this manner,' says he. Yes, your honor, that's the upshot from
+Ballymackfud--two day's work--a sick goose (for I disremembered
+to mention that Barney said, wid a wink, that she'd require great
+attintion, as she was in a delicate state of health)--one ould hen, and
+a half-a-dozen eggs; which wouldn't be the case, only for Hickman--not
+but he's a very respectable gentleman--by all accounts."
+
+"I told you before, sirra, that I will have nothing offensive to him
+mentioned in my presence. Give this letter to Mr. M'Slime, and bring me
+an answer as soon as you can. Will you have a glass of spirits?"
+
+"Would it be intherfairin' wid my duty, sir?"
+
+"If you think so, don't take it; you ought to know best."
+
+"Well, then, for this one time, in regard of a _Lhin-roe_* or the red
+wather in my stomach, I'll try it. I drank bog-bine last night goin' to
+bed, but divil a morsel o' good it did me."
+
+     * Lhin-roe, or red water--the Irish name for heart-burn.
+
+M'Clutchy handed him a full glass, which he held steadily before his
+eye, till the other put up the decanter.
+
+"Your honor's health, sir," said he, "and fireside; and if you war to
+throw me out o' fifty windies, I'll add to that--here's wishin' that the
+divil had his own, and I know where you'd soon be."
+
+"How, you villainous scoundrel," said Val, starting with rising wrath,
+"what do you mean by that?"
+
+Darby made no reply, but hastily tossing off the glass, he seized his
+hat, bolted outside the door, and putting in his head, said in a kind of
+loud but confidential whisper--
+
+"IN HICKMAN'S PLACE, your honor!"
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER III.--Solomon M'Slime, a Religious Attorney
+
+--Solomon M'Slime, a Religious Attorney--His Office--Family
+Devotions--Substitute for Breakfast--Misprision Blasphemy--Letter on
+Business.
+
+
+Pass we now to another worthy character, who had locality upon the
+aforesaid property of Castle Cumber. Solomon M'Slime, the law agent, was
+a satisfactory proof of the ease with which religion and law may meet
+and aid each other in the heart and spirit of the same person. An
+attorney, no doubt, is at all times an amiable, honest, and feeling
+individual, simply upon professional principles; but when to all this is
+added the benignant influence of serious and decided piety, it would not
+be an easy task to find, among the several classes which compose society
+in general, anything so truly engaging, so morally taintless, so sweetly
+sanctimonious, so seductively comely, as is that pure and evengelical
+exhibition of human character, that is found to be developed in a
+religious attorney.
+
+Solomon M'Slime was a man in whose heart the two principles kept their
+constant residence; indeed so beautifully were they blended, that his
+law might frequently be mistaken for religion, just as his religion,
+on the other hand, was often known to smack strongly of law. In this
+excellent man, these principles accommodated each with a benignant
+indulgence, that manifested the beauty of holiness in a high degree.
+If, for instance, law in its progress presented to him any obstacle of
+doubtful morality, religion came forward with a sweet but serious smile,
+and said to her companion, "My dear friend, or sister, in this case I
+permit you." And on the contrary, if religion felt over sensitive or
+scrupulous, law had fifty arguments of safety, and precedent, and
+high authority to justify her. But, indeed, we may observe, that in
+a religious attorney these illiberal scruples do not often occur.
+Mr. M'Slime knew the advantages of religion too well, to feel that
+contraction of the mind and principles, which in so many ordinary cases
+occasions religion and common morality to become almost identical.
+Religion was to him a friend--a patroness in whose graces he stood so
+high, that she permitted him to do many things which those who were more
+estranged from her durst not attempt. He enjoyed that state of blessed
+freedom which is accorded to so few, and, consequently, had his
+"permissions" and his "privileges" to go in the wicked wayfares of this
+trying world much greater lengths than those, who were less gifted
+and favored by the sweet and consoling principle which regulated and
+beautified his life.
+
+Solomon was a small man, thin, sharp-featured, and solemn. He was
+deliberate in his manner and movements, and correct but slow of speech.
+Though solemn, however, he was not at all severe or querulous, as is too
+frequently the case with those who affect to be religious. Far from it.
+On the contrary, in him the gospel gifts appeared in a cheerful gravity
+of disposition, and a good-humored lubricity of temper, that could turn
+with equal flexibility and suavity to every incident of life, no matter
+how trying to the erring heart. All the hinges of his spirit seemed to
+have been graciously and abundantly oiled, and such was his serenity,
+that it was quite evident he had a light within him. It was truly a
+pleasure to speak to, or transact business with such a man; he seemed
+always so full of inward peace, and comfort, and happiness. Nay, upon
+some occasions, he could rise to a kind of sanctified facetiousness
+that was perfectly delightful, and in the very singleness of his heart,
+would, of an odd time, let out, easily and gently it is true, a small
+joke, that savored a good deal of secular humor.
+
+Then he was so full of charity and affection for all that were frail and
+erring among our kind, that he never, or seldom, breathed a harsh word
+against the offender. Or if, in the fulness of his benevolence, he found
+it necessary to enumerate their faults, and place them, as it were, in
+a catalogue, it was done in a spirit of such love, mingled with sorrow,
+that those to whom he addressed himself, often thought it a pity that he
+himself did not honor religion, by becoming the offender, simply for the
+sake of afterwards becoming the patient.
+
+In the religious world he was a very active and prominent man--punctual
+in his devotional exercises, and always on the lookout for some of those
+unfortunate brands with which society abounds, that he might, as he
+termed it, have the pleasure of plucking them out of the burning. He
+never went without a Bible and a variety of tracts in his pocket, and
+seldom was missed from the platform of a religious meeting. He received
+subscriptions for all public and private charities, and has repeatedly
+been known to offer and afford consolation to the widow and orphan, at
+a time when the pressure of business rendered the act truly one of
+Christian interest and affection.
+
+The hour was not more than ten o'clock, a.m. when Darby entered his
+office, in which, by the way, lay three or four Bibles, in different
+places. In a recess on one side of the chimney-piece, stood a
+glass-covered bookcase, filled with the usual works on his profession,
+whilst hung upon the walls, and consequently nearer observation,
+were two or three pensile shelves, on which were to be found a small
+collection of religious volumes, tracts, and other productions, all
+bearing on the same subject. On the desk was a well-thumbed Bible to the
+right, which was that used at family prayer; and on the opposite side, a
+religious almanack and a copy of congregation hymns.
+
+Darby, on reaching the hall door, knocked with considerable more
+decision than he had done at M'Clutchy's, but without appearing to have
+made himself heard; after waiting patiently for some time, however,
+he knocked again, and at length the door was opened by a very pretty
+servant girl, about seventeen, who, upon his inquiring if her master
+was at home, replied in a sighing voice, and with a demure face, "Oh,
+yes--at family prayer."
+
+"When he's done," said Darby, "maybe you'd be kind enough to say that
+Darby O'Drive has a message for him."
+
+The pretty servant did not nod--an act--which she considered as too
+flippant for the solemnity of devotion--but she gently bowed her head,
+and closed her eyes in assent--upon which was heard a somewhat cheerful
+groan, replete with true unction, inside the parlor, followed by a voice
+that said, "ah, Susannah!" pronounced in a tone of grave but placid
+remonstrance; Susannah immediately entered, and the voice, which
+was that of our attorney, proceeded--"Susannah take your place--long
+measure, eight lines, four eights, and two sixes." The psalm was then
+raised or pitched by Solomon himself, who was followed by six or
+eight others, each in a different key, but all with such reluctance
+to approach their leader, that from a principle of unworthiness, they
+allowed him, as the more pious, to get far in advance of them. In this
+manner they sang two verses, and it was remarkable, that although on
+coming to the conclusion, Solomon was far ahead, and the rest nowhere,
+yet, from the same principle of unworthiness, they left the finish, as
+they did the start, altogether to himself. The psalm was accordingly
+wound up by a kind of understanding or accompaniment between his mouth
+and nose, which seemed each moved by a zealous but godly struggle to
+excel the other, if not in melody at least in loudness. They then
+all knelt down, and Solomon launched, with a sonorous voice, into
+an extempore prayer, which was accompanied by a solemn commentary of
+groanings, sighings, moanings, and muffled ejaculations, that cannot
+otherwise be described except by saying that they resembled something
+between a screech and a scream. Their devotions being over, Darby,
+having delivered M'Clutchy's letter, was desired to take a seat in the
+office, until Mr. M'Slime should be at leisure to send a reply.
+
+"Sit down, my good friend, Darby, sit down, and be at ease, at least in
+your body; I do not suffer any one who has an immortal soul to be saved
+to stand in my office--and as you have one to be saved, Darby, you must
+sit. The pride of this vain life is our besetting sin, and happy are
+they who are enabled to overcome it--may he be praised!--sit down."
+
+"I'm thankful to you, sir," said Darby, "oh, thin, Mr. M'Slime, it would
+be well for the world if every attorney in it was like you, sir--there
+would be little honesty goin' asthray, sir, if there was."
+
+"Sam Sharpe, my dear boy, if you have not that bill of costs finished--"
+
+"No sir."
+
+"A good boy, Sam--well, do not omit thirteen and four pence for
+two letters, which I ought to have sent--as a part of my moral,
+independently of my professional duty--to Widow Lenehan, having
+explained to her by word of mouth, that which I ought in conscience,
+to have written--but indeed my conscience often leads me to the--what
+should I say?--the merciful side in these matters. No, Darby, my friend,
+you cannot see into my heart, or you would not say so--I am frail,
+Darby, and sinful--I am not up to the standard, my friend, neither have
+I acted up to my privileges--the freedom of the gospel! is a blessed
+thing, provided we abuse it not'--well, Sam, my good young friend--"
+
+"That was entered before, sir, under the head of instructions."
+
+"Very right--apparently very right, Sam, and reasonable for you to think
+so--but this was on a different occasion, although the same case."
+
+"Oh, I beg pardon, sir, I did not know that."
+
+"Sam, do not beg pardon--not of me--nor of any but One--go there, Sam,
+you require it; we all require it, at least I do abundantly. Darby,
+my friend, it is a principle with me never to lose an opportunity of
+throwing in a word in season--but as the affairs of this life must be
+attended to--only in a secondary degree, I admit--I will, therefore,
+place you at the only true fountain where you can be properly refreshed.
+Take this Bible, Darby, and it matters not where you open it, read and
+be filled."
+
+Now, as Darby, in consequence of his early attendance upon M'Clutchy,
+had been obliged to leave home that morning without his breakfast,
+it must be admitted that he was not just then in the best possible
+disposition to draw much edification from it. After poring over it
+with a very sombre face for some time, he at length looked shrewdly
+at M'Slime closing one eye a little, as was his custom; "I beg pardon,
+sir," said he, "but if I'm not mistaken this book I believe is intended
+more for the sowl than the body."
+
+"For the body! truly, Darby, that last is a carnal thought, and I am
+sorry to hear, it from your lips:--the Bible is a spiritual book, my
+friend, and spiritually must it be received."
+
+"But, to a man like me, who hasn't had his breakfast to-day yet, how
+will it be sarviceable? will reading it keep off hunger or fill my
+stomach?"
+
+"Ah! Darby, my friend, that is gross talk--such views of divine truth
+are really a perversion of the gifts of heaven. That book although it
+will not fill your stomach, as you grossly call it, actually will do it
+figuratively, which in point of fact is the same thing, or a greater--it
+will enable you to bear hunger as a dispensation, Darby, to which it is
+your duty as a Christian to submit. Nay, it will do more, my friend; it
+will exalt your faith to such a divine pitch, that if you read it with
+the proper spirit, you will pray that the dispensation thus laid on you
+may continue, in order that the inner man may be purged."
+
+"Faith, and Mr. M'Slime, with great respect, if that is your doctrine
+it isn't your practice. The sorra word of prayer--God bless the
+prayers!--came out o' your lips today,'an til you laid in a good warm
+breakfast, and afther that, for fraid of disappointments, the very first
+thing you prayed for was your daily bread--didn't I hear you? But I'll
+tell you what, sir, ordher me my breakfast, and then I'll be spakin' to
+you. A hungry man--or a hungry woman, or her hungry childre' can't eat
+Bibles; although it is well known, God knows, that when hunger, and
+famine, and starvation are widin them and upon them, that the same
+Bible, but nothing else, is; handed to them by pious people in the shape
+of consolation and relief. Now I'm thinkin', Mr. M'Slime, that that is
+not the best way to make the Bible respected. Are you goin' to give me
+my breakfast, sir? upon my sowl, beggin' your pardon, if you do I'll
+bring the Bible home wid me, if that will satisfy you, for we haven't
+got e'er a one in our own little cabin."
+
+"Sharpe, my good boy, I'll trouble you to take that Bible out of his
+hands. I am not in the slightest degree offended, Darby--you will yet,
+I trust, live to know better, may He grant it! I overlook the misprision
+of blasphemy on your part, for you didn't know what you said? but you
+will, you will.
+
+"This is a short reply to Mr. M'Clutchy's note. I shall see him on my
+way to the sessions to-morrow, but I have told him so in it. And now,
+my friend, be assured I overlook the ungodly and carnal tenor of your
+conversation--we are all frail and prone to error; I, at least, am
+so--still we must part as Christians ought, Darby. You have asked me
+for a breakfast, but I overlook that also--I ought to overlook it as
+a Christian; for is not your immortal soul of infinitely greater value
+than your perishable body? Undoubtedly--and as a proof that I value it
+more, receive this--this, my brother sinner--oh! that I could say my
+brother Christian also--receive it, Darby, and in the proper spirit too;
+it is a tract written by the Rev. Vesuvius M'Slug, entitled 'Spiritual
+Food for Babes of Grace;' I have myself found it graciously consolatory
+and refreshing, and I hope that you also may, my friend."
+
+"Begad, sir," said Darby, "it may be very good in its way, and I've
+no doubt but it's a very generous and Christian act in you to give
+it--espishilly since it cost you nothing--but for all that, upon my
+sowl, I'm strongly of opinion that to a hungry man it's a bad substitute
+for a breakfast."
+
+"Ah! by the way, Darby," lending a deaf ear to this observation, "have
+you heard, within the last day or two, anything of Mr. M'Clutchy's
+father, Mr. Deaker--how he is?"
+
+"Why, sir," replied Darby, "I'm tould he's breaking down fast, but the
+divil a one of him will give up the lady. Parsons, and ministers, and
+even priests, have all been at him; but it is useless: he curses
+and damns them right and left, and won't be attended by any one but
+her--hadn't you betther try him, Mr. M'Slime? May be you might succeed.
+Who knows but a little of the 'Spiritual Food for Babes of Grace'
+might sarve him as well as others. There's a case for you. Sure he
+acknowledges himself to be a member of the hell-fire club!"
+
+"He's a reprobate, my friend--impenitent, hopeless. I have myself tried
+him, spoke with him, reasoned with him, but never was my humility,
+my patience, so strongly tried. His language I will not repeat--but
+canting knave, hypocrite, rascal attor--no, it is useless and unedifying
+to repeat it. Now go, my friend, and do not forget that precious tract
+which you have thrust so disrespectfully into your pocket."
+
+Darby, after a shrewd wink at one of the apprentices, which was
+returned, passed out, and left Mr. M'Slime to the pursuit of his
+salvation.
+
+In the mean time, as we authors have peculiar "privileges," as Mr.
+M'Slime would say, we think if only due to our readers to let them have
+a peep at M'Slime's note to our friend Valentine M'Clutchy.
+
+"My dear friend--I felt as deep an interest in the purport of your note
+as you yourself possibly could. The parties alluded to I appreciate
+precisely as you do--M'Loughlin has in the most unchristian manner
+assailed my character as well as yours. So has his partner in the
+concern--I mean Harman. But then, my friend, are we not Christians,
+and shall we not return good for evil? Shall we not forgive them? Some
+whispers, hints, very gentle and delicate have reached my ears, which
+I do not wish to commit to paper;--but this I may say, until I see you
+to-morrow, that I think your intentions with respect to M'Loughlin and
+Harman are premature. There is a screw loose somewhere, so to speak,
+that is all--but I believe, I can say, that if your father, Deaker,
+will act to our purposes, all will be as we could wish. This is a
+delicate subject, my dear friend, but still I am of opinion that if
+you could, by any practicable means; soften the unfortunate female
+who possesses such an ascendancy over him, all will be right. I would,
+myself, undertake the perilous task for your sake--and perilous to
+ordinary men I admit it would be, for she is beyond question exceedingly
+comely. In me this would appear disinterested, whilst in you, suspicion
+would become strong. Cash is wanted in the quarter you know, and cash
+has been refused in another quarter, and when we meet I shall tell you
+more about this matter. In the mean time it is well that there is no
+legitimate issue--but should he will his property to this Delilah, or
+could she be removed?--I mean to a local distance. But I shall see you
+to-morrow (D.V.), when we can have freer conversation upon what may be
+done. With humble but sincere prayers for your best wishes and welfare,
+I am, my dear friend,
+
+"Thine in the bonds of Christian love,
+
+"Solomon M'Slime.
+
+"P. S.--As it is a principle of mine to neglect no just opportunity of
+improving my deceitful heart, I bought from a travelling pedlar this
+morning, a book with the remarkable title of 'The Spiritual Attorney,
+or A Sure Guide to the Other World.' I have not yet had time to look at
+anything but the title page, and consequently am not able to inform you
+which of the worlds he alludes to, ha, ha! You see, my friend, I do not
+think there is evil in a joke that is harmless, or has a moral end in
+view, as every joke ought to have.
+
+"Thine as before,
+
+"Sol. M'Slime."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IV.--Poll Doolin, the Child Cadger
+
+--Raymond, her Son--Short Dialogue on the Times--Polls Opinion on
+the Causes of Immorality--Solomon is Generous--A Squire of the Old
+School--And a Moral Dialogue.
+
+
+The next morning was that on which the Quarter Sessions of Castle Cumber
+commenced; and of course it was necessary for Darby O'Drive, who was
+always full of business on such occasions, to see M'Clutchy, in order
+to receive instructions touching his duties on various proceedings
+connected with the estate. He had reached the crossroads that ran about
+half-way between Constitution Cottage and Castle Cumber, when! he met,
+just where the road turned to M'Clutchy's, a woman named Poll Doolin,
+accompanied, as she mostly was, by her son--a poor, harmless, idiot,
+named Raymond; both of whom were well known throughout the whole parish.
+Poll was a thin, sallow woman, with piercing dark eyes, and a very;
+gipsy-like countenance. Her dress was always black, and very much worn;
+in fact, everything about her was black--black stockings, black bonnet,
+black hair, and black kerchief. Poll's occupation was indeed a singular
+one, and not very creditable to the morals of the day. Her means of
+living were derived from the employment of child-cadger to the Foundling
+Hospital of Dublin. In other words, she lived by conveying illegitimate
+children from the places of their birth to the establishment just
+mentioned, which has been very properly termed a bounty for national
+immorality. Whenever a birth of this kind occurred, Poll was immediately
+sent for--received her little charge with a name--whether true or false
+mattered not--pinned to its dress--then her traveling expenses; after
+which she delivered it at the hospital, got a receipt for its delivery,
+and returned to claim her demand, which was paid only on her producing
+it. In the mean time, the unfortunate infant had to encounter all the
+comforts of the establishment, until it was drafted out to a charter
+school, in which hot-bed of pollution it received that exquisitely
+moral education that enabled it to be sent out into society admirably
+qualified to sustain the high character of Protestantism.
+
+"Morrow, Poll," said Darby; "what's the youngest news wid you? And
+Raymond, my boy, how goes it wid you?"
+
+"I don't care for you," replied the fool; "you drove away Widow
+Branagan's cow, an' left the childre to the black wather. Bad luck to
+you!"
+
+Darby started; for there is a superstition among the Irish, that the
+curse of an "innocent" is one of the most unlucky that can be uttered.
+
+"Don't curse me," replied Darby; "sure, Raymond, I did only my duty."
+
+"Then who made you do your duty?" asked the other.
+
+"Why, Val the Vul--hem--Mr. M'Clutchy, to be sure."
+
+"Bad luck to him then!"
+
+His mother, who had been walking a little before him, turned, and,
+rushing towards him, put her hand hastily towards his mouth, with the
+obvious intention of suppressing the imprecation; but too late; it had
+escaped, and be the consequence what it might, Val had got the exciting
+cause of it.
+
+"My poor unfortunate boy," said she, "you oughtn't to curse anybody;
+stop this minute, and say God bless him."
+
+"God bless who?"
+
+"Mr. McClutchy."
+
+"The devil bless him! ha, ha, ha! Doesn't he harry the poor, an' drive
+away their cows from them--doesn't he rack them an' rob them--harry
+them, rack them, rob them--
+
+     "Harry them, rack them, rob them,
+     Rob them, rack them, harry them--
+     Harry them, rack them, rob them,
+     Rob them, rack them, harry them."
+
+This he sung in an air somewhat like "Judy Callahan."
+
+"Ha, ha, ha! Oh the devil bless him! and they say a blessin' from the
+devil is very like a curse from God."
+
+The mother once more put up her hands to his face, but only with the
+intention of fondling and caressing him. She tenderly stroked down his
+head, and patted his cheek, and attempted to win him out of the evil
+humor into which the sight of Darby had thrown him. Darby could observe,
+however, that she appeared to be deeply troubled by the idiot's conduct,
+as was evident by the trembling of her hands, and a perturbation of
+manner which she could not conceal.
+
+"Raymond," she said, soothingly, "won't you be good for me, darlin'--for
+your own mother, my poor helpless boy? Won't you be good for me?"
+
+"I will," said he, in a more placid voice.
+
+"And you will not curse anybody any more?"
+
+"No, mother, no."
+
+"And won't you bless Mr. M'Clutchy, my dear child?"
+
+"There's a fig for him," he replied--there's a fig for him. Now!"
+
+"But you didn't bless him, my darlin'--you didn't bless him yet."
+
+As she spoke the words, her eye caught! his, and she perceived that it
+began to gleam and kindle.
+
+"Well no," said she hastily; "no, I won't ask you; only hould your
+tongue--say no more."
+
+She again patted his cheek tenderly, and the fiery light which began to
+burn in his eye, died gradually away, and no other expression remained
+in it but the habitual one of innocence and good-nature.
+
+"No, no," said she, shaking her head, and speaking as much to herself as
+to Darby; "I know him too well; no earthly power will put him out of
+his own way, once he takes it into his head. This minute, if I had
+spoke another word about the blessin', Mr. M'Clutchy would a got
+another curse; yet, except in these fits, my poor child is kindness and
+tendheress itself."
+
+"Well now," said Darby, "that that's over, can you tell me, Poll, what's
+the news? When were you in Dublin?"
+
+"I've given that up," replied Poll; "I'm too ould and stiff for it now.
+As for the news, you ought to know what's goin' as well as I do. You're
+nearly as much on the foot."
+
+"No; nor if every head in the parish was 'ithin side o'mine, I wouldn't
+know as much in the news line as you, Poll."
+
+"The news that's goin' of late, Darby, is not good, an' you know it.
+There's great grumlin' an' great complaints, ever since. Val, the lad,
+became undher agent; and you know that too."
+
+"But how can I prevent that?" said Darby; "sure I'd side wid the people
+if I could."
+
+"You'd side wid the people, an' you'd side wid the man that oppresses
+them, even in spite of Mr. Hickman."
+
+"God bless Mr. Hickman!" said Raymond, "and the divil curse him! and
+sure 'tis well known that the divil's curse is only another name for
+God's blessin'. God bless, Mr. Hickman!"
+
+"Amen, my darlin' child, wid all my heart," said Poll; "but, Darby," she
+continued, "take my word for it, that these things won't end well. The
+estate and neighborhood was peaceable and quiet till the Vulture began
+his pranks, and now----"
+
+"Very well," said Darby, "the blame be his, an' if it comes to that, the
+punishment; so far as myself's consarned, I say, let every herrin' hang
+by its own tail--I must do my duty. But tell me, Poll--hut, woman, never
+mind the Vulture--let him go to the devil his own way--tell me do you
+ever hear from your son Frank, that Brian M'Loughlin sent acrass?"
+
+"No," said she, "not a word; but the curse o' heaven on Brian
+M'Loughlin! Was my fine young man worth no more than his garran of
+a horse, that he didn't steal either, till he was put to it by the
+Finigans."
+
+"Well, sure two o' them were sent over soon afther him, if that's any
+comfort."
+
+"It's no comfort," replied Poll, "but I'll tell you what's a comfort,
+the thought that I'll never die till I have full revenge on Brian
+M'Loughlin--ay, either on him or his--or both. Come, Raymond, have you
+ne'er a spare curse now for Brian M'Loughlin?--you could give a fat one
+to M'Clutchy this minute and have you none for Brian M'Loughlin?"
+
+"No," replied, the son, "he doesn't be harryin' the poor."
+
+"Well, but he transported your brother.
+
+"No matter; Frank used to beat me--he was bad, an Brian M'Loughlin was
+good to me, and does be good to me; he gives me my dinner or breakfast
+whenever I go there--an' a good bed in the barn. I won't curse him.
+Now!"
+
+"It's no use," continued Poll, whose thin features had not yet subsided
+from the inflammatory wildness of expression which had been awakened by
+the curse, "it's no use, he'll only do what he likes himself, an' the
+best way is to never heed him."
+
+"I believe so," said Darby, "but where's your daughter Lucy now, Poll?"
+
+"Why," said Poll, "she has taken to my trade, an' thravels up to the
+Foundling; although, dear knows, it's hardly worth her while now--it
+won't give her salt to her kale, poor girl."
+
+"Why, are the times mendin'?" asked Darby, who spoke in a moral point of
+view.
+
+"Mendin'!" exclaimed Poll, "oh, ay indeed--Troth they're not fit to be
+named in the one day with what they used to be. But indeed, of late
+I'm happy to say that they are improvin' a bit," said she, speaking
+professionally. "M'Clutchy's givin' them a lift, for I've ever an'
+always remarked, that distress, and poverty, and neglect o' the poor,
+and hardship, and persecution, an' oppression, and anything that way,
+was sure to have my very heart broke wid business."
+
+"And tell me, Poll, did you ever happen to get a job from a sartin pious
+gentleman, o' the name of M'Slime?--now tell the truth."
+
+"It's a question," replied Poll, "you have no right to axe--you must
+know, Darby O'Drive, that I've had my private business, as well as
+my public business, an' that I'd suffer that right hand to be cut off
+sooner than betray trust. Honor bright, or what's the world good for!"
+
+They now reached a spot where the road branched into two, but Poll still
+kept to that which led to M'Clutchy's. "Are you for the Cottage too,"
+asked Darby.
+
+"I am," replied Poll, "I've been sent for; but what he wants wid me, I
+know no more than the man in the moon."
+
+Just then the tramp of a horse's feet was heard behind' them, and in a
+minute or two, Solomon M'Slime, who was also on his way to the Cottage,
+rode up to them.
+
+"A kind good morning to you Darby, my friend! I trust you did not
+neglect to avail yourself of the--Ah!" said he complacently on catching
+a glimpse of Poll's face, "I think I ought to recollect your features,
+my good woman--but, no--I can't say I do--No, I must mistake them for
+those of another--but, indeed, the best of us is liable to mistake and
+error--all frail--flesh is grass."
+
+"You might often see my face," returned Poll, "but I don't think ever we
+spoke before. I know you to look at you, sir, that's all--an' it's thrue
+what you say too, sir, there's nothing but frailty in the world--divil a
+much else--howsomever, be that as is may, honor bright's my motive."
+
+"And a good motto it is, my excellent woman--is that interesting young
+man your son?"
+
+"He is, sir; but he's a poor innocent that, hasn't the full complement
+of wit, sir, God help him!"
+
+"Well, my good woman," continued Solomon, "as he appears to be without
+shoes to his feet, will you accept of five shillings, which is all the
+silver I have about me, to buy him a pair."
+
+"Many thanks, Mr. M'Sl--hem--many thanks, sir; honor bright's my
+motive."
+
+"And let it always be so, my excellent, woman; a good morning to you
+very kindly! Darby, I bid you also good morning, and peace be with you
+both."
+
+So saying, he rode on at a quiet, easy amble, apparently at peace with
+his heart, his conscience, his sleek cob, and all the world besides.
+
+The sessions of Castle Cumber having concluded as sessions usually
+conclude, we beg our reader to accompany us to Deaker Hall the residence
+of M'Clutchy's father, the squire. This man was far advanced in years,
+but appeared to have been possessed of a constitution which sustains
+sensuality, or perhaps that retrospective spirit which gloats over its
+polluted recollections, on the very verge of the grave. In the case
+before us, old age sharpened the inclination to vice in proportion as
+it diminished the power of being vicious, and presented an instance of a
+man, at the close of a long life, watching over the grave of a corrupted
+heart, with a hope of meeting the wan spectres of his own departed
+passions, since he could not meet the passions themselves; and he met
+them, for they could not rest, but returned to their former habitation,
+like unclean spirits as they were, each bringing seven more along with
+it, but not to torment him. Such were the beings with which the soul of
+this aged materialist was crowded. During life his well known motto was,
+"let us eat, and drink and be merry, for to-morrow we die." Upon this
+principle, expanded into still wider depravity, did he live and act
+during a protracted existence, and to those who knew him, and well known
+he was, there appeared something frightfully revolting in the shameless
+career of this impenitent old infidel.
+
+Deaker was a large man, with a rainbow protuberance before, whose chin,
+at the time we speak of, rested upon his breast, giving to him the exact
+character which he bore--that of a man who to the last was studious
+of every sensual opportunity. His gray, goatish eye, was vigilant and.
+circumspect, and his under lip protruded in a manner, which, joined to
+the character of his age, left no one at a loss for the general subject
+matter of his thoughts. He always wore top boots, and generally went on
+horseback, having that part of his hat which rested on the collar of his
+coat, turned up and greasy.
+
+Squire Deaker's language was not more moral than his life--for he not
+only enforced his principles by his example, but also by his precept.
+His conversation consequently resolved itself into a mingled stream of
+swearing and obscenity. Ridicule of religion, and a hardened triumph in
+his own iniquitous exploits, illustrated and confirmed by a prodigality
+of blasphemous asservations, constituted the staple of his thoughts and
+expressions. According to his own principles he could not look forward
+to another life, and consequently all that remained for him was to look
+back upon an unbroken line of seduction and profligacy--upon wealth and
+influence not merely abused, but prostituted to the lowest and
+grossest purposes of our worst passions--upon systematic crime--unmanly
+treachery--and that dishonest avarice which constituted the act of
+heartless desertion in himself the ultimate ruin and degradation of
+his victims. Such was this well known squire of the old school, whose
+portrait, taken from life, will be recognized by every one who ever knew
+him, should any such happen to peruse these pages.
+
+At the period of which we write Squire Deaker was near eighty, and
+although feeble and broken down, he still exhibited the remains of a
+large, coarse, strong-boned animal, not without a vigorous twinkle of
+low cunning in his eye, and a duplicity of character and principle about
+his angular and ill-shaped eye-brows which could not be mistaken. He
+was confined to his bed, and for the first time during many years, was
+unable to attend the Castle Cumber quarter sessions.
+
+It was the second or third day after their close that about the hour of
+ten o'clock, a.m., he awoke from a heavy and unhealthy doze, which could
+scarcely be termed sleep, but rather a kind of middle state between that
+and waking. At length he raised his head, gasped, and on finding no one
+in the room, he let fly a volley of execrations, and rang the bell.
+
+"Is there any one there? Any one within hearing? I say Isabel, Isabel,
+jezabel, are you all dead and d----d?"
+
+"No, your honor, not yet--some of us at least," replied a shrewd-looking
+lad of about eighteen, nicking his appearance.
+
+"Ha, Lanty--it's you, is it? What do you mean by that, you devil's
+pick-tooth? Where's Isabel? Where's Jezabel? Playing her pranks, I
+suppose--where is she, you devil's tooth-brush? eh?"
+
+"Do you want your brandy and wather, sir?"
+
+"Brandy and h--l, you scoundrel! Where's Miss Puzzle?"
+
+"Why, she's just rinsing her mouth, sir, wid a drop of "--
+
+"Of what, you devil's imp; but I know--she's drinking--she's drunk, you
+young candidate for perdition?"
+
+"I'm not an ould one, sir, any how; as to Miss Fuzzle, sir, she bid me
+say, that she's doin' herself the pleasure of drinkin' your health"--
+
+"Ha, ha, ha! Oh, if I were near her--that's all! drinking my health!
+She's tipsy, the she scoundrel, she never sends me that message unless
+when she's tipsy"--
+
+"Not tipsy, your honor, only unwell--she's a little touched wid the
+falling sickness--she always takes it after rinsing her mouth, sir; for
+she's fond of a sweet breath, your honor."
+
+"Ah, she's a confounded blackguard--a living quicksand, and nothing
+else. Lanty, my lad, if the Mississippi was brandy grog, she'd dry the
+river--drinking at this hour!--well, never mind, I was drunk myself last
+night, and I'm half drunk yet. Here, you devil's tinder box, mix me a
+glass of brandy and water."
+
+"Wouldn't you do it better yourself, sir?"
+
+"No, you whelp, don't you see how my hands, and be hanged to them,
+tremble and shake. Put in another glass, I say--carry it to my mouth
+now; hold, you croil--here's the glorious, pious, and immortal memory!
+Ho! Lanty, there's nothing like being a good Protestant after all--so
+I'll stand to glorious Bill, to the last; nine times nine, and one cheer
+more! hurra!"
+
+He then laid himself back, and attempted to whistle the Boyne Water,
+but having only one tusk in front, the sound produced resembled the wild
+whistle of the wind through the chink of a door--shrill and monotonous;
+after which he burst out into a chuckling laugh, tickled, probably, at
+the notion of that celebrated melody proving disloyal in spite of him,
+as refusing, as it were, to be whistled.
+
+At this moment Miss Isabel, or as he most frequently called her Miss
+Jezabel Puzzle, came in with a gleaming eye and an unsteady step--her
+hair partially dishevelled, and her dress most negligently put on. The
+moment Deaker saw her, his whole manner changed, notwithstanding his
+previous violence--the swagger departed from him, his countenance fell,
+and he lay mute and terror-stricken before her. It was indeed clear that
+her sway over him was boundless, and such was the fact. On this occasion
+she simply looked at him significantly, held up her hand in a menacing
+attitude, and having made a mock curtesy, immediately left the room.
+
+"Lanty," said he in an undertone, when she had gone, "Lanty, you clip,
+go and tell her to forgive me; I said too much, and I'm sorry for it,
+say--go you scoundrel."
+
+"Faix I'll do no such thing, sir," replied Lanty, alarmed at the nature
+of the message; "I know better than to come across her now; she'd whale
+the life out o' me. Sure she's afther flailing the cook out o' the
+kitchen--and Tom Corbet the butler has one of his ears, he says, hangin'
+off him as long as a blood-hound's."
+
+"Speak easy," said Doaker, in a voice of terror, "speak lower, or she
+may hear you--Isn't it strange," he said to himself, "that I who never
+feared God or man, should quail before this Jezabel!"
+
+"Begad, an' here's one, your honor, that'll make her quail, if he meets
+her."
+
+"Who is it," asked the other eagerly, "who is it you imp?"
+
+"Why, Mr. M'Clutchy, sir; he's ridin' up the avenue."
+
+"Ay, Val the Vulture--Val the Vulture--I like that fellow--like him for
+his confoundedly clever roguery; only he's a hypocrite, and doesn't set
+the world at defiance as I do;--no, he's a cowardly, skulking hypocrite,
+nearly as great a one as M'Slime, but doesn't talk so much about
+religion as that oily gentleman."
+
+In a few moments M'Clutchy entered. "Good morrow, Val. Well, Val--well,
+my Vulture, what's in the wind now? Who's to suffer? Are you ready for a
+pounce? Eh?"
+
+"I was sorry to hear that your health's not so good, sir, as it was."
+
+"You lie, my dear Vulture, you lie in your throat, I tell you. You're
+watching for my carcase, snuffing the air at a distance under the hope
+of a gorge. No--you didn't care the devil had me, provided you could
+make a haul by it."
+
+"I hope sir, there's no----"
+
+"Hope! You rascally hypocrite, what's hope good for? Hope to rot in the
+grave is it? To melt into corruption and feed the worms? What a precious
+putrid carcase I'll make, when I'm a month in the dirt. Maybe you
+wouldn't much relish the scent of me then, my worthy Vulture. Curse your
+beak, at all events! what do you want? what did you come for?"
+
+Val, who knew his worthy sire well, knew also the most successful method
+of working out any purpose with him. He accordingly replied, conscious
+that hypocrisy was out of the question--
+
+"The fact is, sir, I want you to aid me in a piece of knavery."
+
+"I'll do it--I'll do it. Hang me if I don't. Come--I like that--it
+shows that there's no mock modesty between us--that we know one another.
+What's the knavery?"
+
+"Why, sir, I'm anxious, in the first place, to have Hickman, the head
+agent, out, and in the next, to get into his place, if possible. Now, I
+know that you can assist me in both, if you wish."
+
+"How?" asked Deaker, who was quite as able a tactician as his son; and
+who, in fact, had contrived to put himself so completely! in possession
+of the political influence of the county as to be able to return any one
+he wished. "How is it to be done? Tell me that?"
+
+"I have understood from George Gamble, Lord Cumber's own man, that he
+wants money."
+
+"Tut," replied Deaker, who now forgot a great deal of his swearing, and
+applied himself to the subject, with all the coolness and ability of a
+thorough man of business.
+
+"Tut, Val, is that your news? When was he ever otherwise? Come to the
+point; the thing's desirable--but how can it be done?"
+
+"I think it can; but it must be by very nice handling indeed."
+
+"Well--your nice handling then?"
+
+"The truth is, that Hickman, I suspect, is almost sick of the
+agency--thanks to Lord Cumber's extravagance, and an occasional bit of
+blister which I, through the tenantry, lay on him at home. Cumber, you
+know, is an unsteady scoundrel, and in the ordinary I transactions of
+life, has no fixed principle, for he is possessed of little honor, and I
+am afraid not much honesty."
+
+"Oh murder! this from Val the Vulture! Let me look at you! Did M'Slime
+bite you? or have you turned Methodist? Holy Jupiter, what a sermon!
+Curse your beak, sir; go on, and no preaching."
+
+"Not much honesty as I said. Now, sir, if you, who have him doubly in
+your power--first, by the mortgage; and, secondly, as his political
+godfather, who can either put him in, or keep him out of the country--if
+you were to write him a friendly, confidential letter, in which,
+observe, you are about to finally arrange your affairs; and you are
+sorry--quite sorry--but the truth is, something must be done about the
+mortgage--you are very sorry--mark--but you are old, and cannot leave
+your property in an unsettled state. Just touch that part of it so--"
+
+"Yes--touch and go."
+
+"Exactly--touch and go. Well, you pass then to the political portion
+of it. Hickman's political opinions are not well known, or at least
+doubtful. Indeed you have reason to believe that he will not support
+his lordship or his family--is not in the confidence of
+government--displeased at the Union--and grumbles about corruption.
+His lordship is abroad you know, and cannot think for himself. You speak
+as his friend--his tried friend--he ought to have a man on his property
+who is staunch, can be depended on, and who will see that full justice
+is done him in his absence. Hickman, too, is against Ascendancy
+principles. Do you see, sir?"
+
+"Proceed--what next?"
+
+"Why, we stop there for the present; nothing more can be done until we
+hear from the scoundrel himself."
+
+"And what do you imagine will be the upshot?"
+
+"Why, I think it not at all unlikely that he will place himself and
+his interests, pecuniary and political, altogether in your hands, and
+consequently you will probably have the guiding of him."
+
+"Well, Val, you are an able knave to be sure; but never mind; I like you
+all the better. The true doctrine is always--eat, drink, and be merry,
+for to-morrow you die,--take as much out of life and your fellow-men as
+you can. There's no knavery in the grave, my Vulture. There the honest
+man and the knave are alike; and this being the case, what the devil is
+public opinion worth?"
+
+"It's worth a great deal if we use it for our own purposes while we're
+here; otherwise I agree with you that it's valueless in itself."
+
+"You're a cursed clever fellow, Val, an able knave, as I said--but I
+don't like your son; he's a dishonest blockhead, and I needn't tell
+you that the man who has not brains enough to be dishonest is a most
+contemptible scoundrel."
+
+"Are you not able to get up?" asked Val, in a very dutiful and
+affectionate voice.
+
+"Able enough now, but my head swam a while ago at a deuced rate. I
+was drunk, as usual, last night, and could do nothing, not even put a
+tumbler to my mouth, until I took a stiff glass of brandy and water,
+and that has set me up again. When shall I write to young Topertoe, the
+Cumber blade?"
+
+"The sooner the better, now; but I think you ought to rise and take some
+exercise."
+
+"So I shall, immediately, and to-morrow I write then, according to your
+able instructions, most subtle and sagacious Val. Are you off?"
+
+"Yes, good-bye, sir, and many thanks."
+
+"None of your stuff I say, but be off out of this--" and as he spoke Val
+disappeared.
+
+So far the first steps for ousting Mr. Hickman were taken by this
+precious father and his equally valuable son. Val, however, entertained
+other speculations quite as ingenious, and far more malignant in
+their tendency. Hickman, of course, he might, by undercurrents and
+manoeuvering, succeed in ejecting from the agency; but he could not
+absolutely ruin him. Nothing short of this, however, did he propose to
+himself, so far as M'Loughlin, and, we may add, every one connected with
+him, was concerned; for M'Clutchy possessed that kind of economy in his
+moral feelings, that always prompted him to gratify his interest and his
+malice by the same act of virtue. How he succeeded in this benevolent
+resolution, time and the progress of this truthful history will show.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V.--A Mysterious Meeting
+
+--Description of a Summer Evening--A Jealous Vision--Letter from Squire
+Beaker to Lord Cumber--Lord Cumber's Reply.
+
+
+The season was now about the close of May, that delightful month
+which presents, the heart and all our purer sensations with a twofold
+enjoyment; for in that sweet period have we not all the tenderness and
+delicacy of spring, combined with the fuller and more expanded charms
+of the leafy summer--like that portion of female life, in which the
+eye feels it difficult to determine whether the delicate beauty of
+the blushing girl, or the riper loveliness of the full grown maid,
+predominates in the person. The time was evening, about half an hour
+before that soft repose of twilight, in which may be perceived the
+subsiding stir of busy life as it murmurs itself into slumber, after the
+active pursuits of day. On a green upland lawn, that was a sheep walk,
+some portions of which were studded over with the blooming and fragrant
+furze, stood an old ecclesiastical ruin, grey from time, and breathing
+with that spirit of vague but dreamy reverie, which it caught from the
+loveliness of the season, the calmness and the golden light of the hour,
+accessories, that, by their influence, gave a solemn beauty to its very
+desolation. It reminded one somewhat of the light which coming death
+throws upon the cheek of youth when he treacherously treads in the soft
+and noiseless steps of decline--or rather of that still purer light,
+which, when the aged Christian arrives at the close of a well spent
+life, accompanied by peace, and hope, and calmness, falls like a glory
+on his bed of death. The ruin was but small, a remnant of one of those
+humble, but rude temples, in which God was worshipped in simplicity and
+peace, far from the noisy tumults and sanguinary conflicts of ambitious
+man.
+
+Through this sweet upland, and close to the ruin, ran a footpath that
+led to a mountain village of considerable extent. Immediately behind the
+ruin stood a few large hawthorn trees, now white with blossoms, whose
+fragrance made the very air a luxury, and from whose branches came forth
+those gushes of evening melody that shed tenderness and tranquility into
+the troubled heart. The country in the distance lay charmed, as it were,
+by the calm spirit of peace which seemed to have diffused itself
+over the whole landscape--western windows were turned into fire--the
+motionless lakes shone like mirrors wherever they caught the beams of
+the evening light, as did several bends of the broad river which barely
+moved within its winding banks through the meadows below. The sun at
+length became half concealed behind the summit of the western hills, so
+that his rich and gorgeous beams fell only upon the surrounding uplands,
+now lit into purple, leaving the valleys and lower parts of the country
+to repose in that beautiful shadow which can be looked upon from the
+higher parts, only through the crimson glory of the departing light.
+And now the sun has disappeared--is gone--but still how beautiful is
+the fading splendor that sleeps for a little on the mountain tops, then
+becomes dimmer and dimmer--then a faint streak which gradually melts
+away until it is finally lost in the soft shadows of that thoughtful
+hour. And even thus passeth away all human glory! The ruin which we have
+mentioned stood about half way between the residence of Brian M'Loughlin
+and the mountain village to which we have alluded. Proceeding homewards
+from the latter place, having performed an errand of mercy and charity,
+was a very beautiful girl, exquisitely formed, but somewhat below the
+middle size. She was Brian M'Loughlin's only daughter--a creature that
+breathed of goodness, grace, and all those delightful qualities that make
+woman a ministering angel amidst the cares, and miseries, and sorrows
+of life. Her figure, symmetry itself, was so light, and graceful, and
+elegant, that a new charm was displayed by every motion, as a new beauty
+was discovered by every change of her expressive countenance; her hair
+was like the raven's wing, and her black eye, instead of being sharp and
+piercing, was more in accordance with the benignity of her character,
+soft, sweet, and mellow. Her bust and arm were perfection, and the small
+white hand and taper fingers would have told a connoisseur or sculptor,
+that her foot, in lightness and elegance of formation, might have
+excited, the envy of Iris or Camilla.
+
+Having reached the ruin, she was surprised to see the figure of a thin
+woman, dressed in black, issue out of it, and approach her with somewhat
+of caution in her manner. Mary M'Loughlin was a girl of strong mind and
+firm character, and not likely to feel alarmed by any groundless cause
+of apprehension. She immediately recognized the woman, who was no other
+than our old friend Poll Doolin, and in the phrases peculiar to the
+country, made the usual kind inquiry after her health and welfare.
+
+"It's a very unusual thing, Poll," she proceeded, "to see you in this
+part of the neighborhood!"
+
+"It is," returned Poll, "I wasn't so near the mountains this many a day;
+an' I wouldn't be here now, only on your account. Miss M'Loughlin."
+
+Now, Mary was by no means ignorant of the enmity which this woman
+entertained against her father and family, in consequence of having
+prosecuted and transported her profligate son. Without the slightest
+apprehension on that account, she felt, however, a good deal puzzled
+as to the meaning which could be attached to Poll's words. "How, on my
+account, Poll? I don't understand you."
+
+"Neither you nor yours desarve it at my hands; but for all that, I am
+here to do you a good tarn."
+
+"I hope I never deserved any evil at your! hands, Poll."
+
+"No, but you're your father's daughter for all that, an' it's not usual
+to hate the tree and spare the branches."
+
+"I suppose you allude to the transportation of your son; but remember,
+Poll, that I was only a child then; and don't forget that had your son
+been honest, he might I still be a comfort and a credit to you, instead
+of a shame and a sorrow. I don't I mean, nor do I wish to hurt your
+feelings, Poll; but I am anxious that you should not indulge in such
+bitterness of heart against my father, who only did what he could not
+avoid."
+
+"Well," said Poll, "never mind that--although it isn't aisy for a mother
+to forget her child wid all his faults; I am here, as I said, on your
+'account--I am here to tell you, that there is danger about you and
+before you, and to put you on your guard against it. I am here, Miss
+Mary M'Loughlin, and if I'm not your friend--I'm not sayin' that I am
+not--still I'm the friend of one that is your friend, and that will
+protect you if he can."
+
+"That is very strange, Poll, for I know not how I can have an enemy.
+What danger could a simple inoffensive girl like me feel? I who have
+never knowingly offended anybody."
+
+"I have said the truth," replied Poll, "and did my duty--you're now
+warned, so be on your guard and take care of yourself."
+
+"But how, Poll? You mention danger, yet have not told me what it is,
+where it's to come from, nor how I am to guard myself against it."
+
+"I'm not at liberty," said Poll, "but this I can tell you, it's
+threatening you, and it comes from a quarther where you'd never look for
+it."
+
+Mary, who was neither timid nor surprised, smiled with the confidence of
+innocence, and replied, after a short pause of thought--
+
+"Well, Poll, I have been thinking over my friends, and cannot find one
+that is likely to be my enemy; at all events I am deeply obliged to you,
+still if you could mention what the danger is, I would certainly
+feel the obligation to be greater. As it is, I thank you again. Good
+evening!"
+
+"Stay, Miss Mary," replied Poll, walking eagerly a step or two after
+her, "stay a minute; I have run a risk in doin' this--only promise me,
+to keep what I said to you a saicret for a while--as well as that you
+ever had any private talk wid me. Promise this."
+
+"I shall certainly not promise any such thing, Poll; so far from that,
+I will mention every word of your conversation to my father and family,
+the moment I reach home. If, as you say, there is danger before or
+around me, there are none whose protection I should so naturally seek."
+
+"But this," said Poll, with an appearance of deep anxiety, "this is a
+matther of mere indifference to you: it's to me the danger is, if you
+spake of it--to me, I say--not to you."
+
+"But I can have no secrets from my family."
+
+"Well, but is it ginerous in you to put me--ay', my very life in
+danger--when all you have to do is merely to say nothing? However, since
+I must speak out--you'll put more than me in danger--them that you love
+betther, an' that you'd never carry a light heart if anything happened
+them."
+
+Mary started--and a light seemed suddenly to break upon her.
+
+"How," said she, "my engagement to Francis Harman is no secret; our
+marriage at no distant day being sanctioned by both our families. Is he
+involved in danger connected with your hints?"
+
+"Deep and deadly, both to him and me. You don't know it, Miss Mary. If
+you love him, as you do--as is well known you do--if you would keep him
+and my poor worthless self out of danger, may be out of bloodshed--don't
+mention a syllable of this meetin' to any one; but of all persons livin'
+to himself, until I give you lave, until I can tell you it will be safe
+to do so. See, I kneel down with hands clasped, I beg it of you for his
+sake and safety!"
+
+It was pretty well known through the parish, especially by the
+initiated, that this same Poll Doolin, had in truth most of its secrets
+in keeping; and that she had frequently conducted with success those
+rustic intrigues which are to be found in humble, as well as in high
+life. The former part of Poll's character, however, was all that had
+ever reached the youthful ears of poor innocent Mary, whilst of her
+address as a diplomatist in the plots and pursuits of love, she was
+utterly ignorant. Naturally unsuspicious, as we have already said,
+she looked upon the woman's knowing character rather as a circumstance
+calculated to corroborate the truth of the mystery which she, must have
+discovered: and was so much moved by the unquestionable sincerity of her
+manner, and the safety of her own lover, that she assured her she would
+keep the secret, until permitted to divulge it; which she begged might
+be at as early a period as possible. Poll thanked her eagerly and
+gratefully, and in a few minutes, having made a circuit behind the ruin,
+sought the lower and richer country by a different path.
+
+Mary unconsciously stood for some time after Poll had left her,
+meditating over the strange and almost unaccountable scene which had
+just taken place, when a rich voice, with which she was well acquainted,
+addressed her. She started, and on turning about, found Francis Harman
+before her. Twilight had now nearly passed away, and the dusk of evening
+was deepening into the darkness of a summer night.
+
+"What on earth are you thinking of alone in this place, my dear Mary,
+and who was that woman who just left you?"
+
+Mary, though firm of character, was also tender and warm of heart, and
+felt deeply for those she loved. The interview with Poll, therefore, had
+excited apprehensions concerning Harman's safety, which disturbed her
+far more than any she felt for herself. He gave her his right arm as he
+spoke, and they went on towards her father's house.
+
+"Good God," he exclaimed, before she had time to answer him, "what
+has disturbed or alarmed you, my sweet Mary? I feel your heart beating
+against my arm, in a most extraordinary manner. How is this?"
+
+The consciousness of the injunction so solemnly and recently imposed,
+distressed her exceedingly. Her love of truth was like her love of life
+or of heaven, a sacred and instinctive principle which she must now
+not only violate, but be forced to run into the hateful practice of
+dissimulation. All this passed through her mind in a moment.
+
+"My dear Francis, I will freely admit that the beatings of my heart are
+not altogether without cause; I have been somewhat disturbed, but it
+will not signify; I shall be quite well in a moment--but where did you
+come from?"
+
+"They told me you had gone up to poor Widow Carrick's--and I took the
+short way, thinking to find you there. But what has disturbed you, my
+dear Mary? Something has, and greatly too."
+
+She looked up with an affectionate smile into his face, although there
+trembled a tear upon her eyelids, as she spoke--
+
+"Do not ask me, my dear Frank; nor don't think the circumstance of
+much importance. It is a little secret of mine, which I cannot for the
+present disclose."
+
+"Well, my love, I only ask to know if the woman that left you was Poll
+Doolin."
+
+"I cannot answer even that, Frank; but such as the secret is, I trust
+you shall soon know it."
+
+"That is enough, my darling. I am satisfied that you would conceal
+nothing from either your family or me, which might be detrimental either
+to yourself or us--or which we ought to know."
+
+"That is true," said she, "I feel that it is true."
+
+"But then on the other hand," said he, playfully, "suppose our little
+darling were in possession of a secret which we ought not to know--what
+character should we bestow on the secret?"
+
+This, though said in love and jest, distressed her so much that she
+was forced to tell him so--"my dear Francis," she replied, with as
+much composure as she could assume, "do not press me on the subject;--I
+cannot speak upon it now, and I consequently must throw myself on your
+love and generosity only for a short time, I hope."
+
+"Not a syllable, my darling, on the subject until you resume it
+yourself--how are Widow Carrick's sick children?"
+
+"Somewhat better," she replied, "the two eldest are recovering, and want
+nourishment, which, with the exception of my poor contributions, they
+cannot get."
+
+"God love and guard your kind and charitable heart, my sweet Mary," said
+he, looking down tenderly into her beautiful face, and pressing her arm
+lovingly against his side.
+
+"What a hard-hearted man that under agent, M'Clutchy, is," she
+exclaimed, her beautiful eye brightening with indignation--"do you know
+that while her children were ill, his bailiff, Darby O'Drive, by his
+orders or authority, or some claim or other, took away her goose and
+the only half-dozen of eggs she had for them--indeed, Frank, he's a sad
+curse to the property."
+
+"He is what an old Vandal was once called for his cruelty and
+oppression--the Scourge of God," replied Harman, "such certainly the
+unhappy tenantry of the Topertoe family find him. Harsh and heartless
+as he is, however, what would he be were it not for the vigilance and
+humanity of Mr. Hickman? But are you aware, Mary, that his graceful son
+Phil was a suitor of yours?"
+
+"Of mine---ha, ha, ha!--oh, that's too comical, Frank--but I am not--Had
+I really ever that honor?"
+
+"Most certainly; his amiable father had the modesty to propose a
+matrimonial union between your family and his!"
+
+"I never heard of it," replied Mary, "never;--but that is easily
+accounted for--my father, I know, would not insult me by the very
+mention of it."
+
+"It's a fact though, that the illegitimate son of the blasphemous old
+squire, and of the virtuous and celebrated Kate Clank, hoped to have
+united the M'Loughlin blood with his!"
+
+"Hush!" exclaimed Mary, shuddering, "the very thought is sickening,
+revolting."
+
+"It's not a pleasant subject, certainly," said Harman, "and the less
+that is said about it the more disgust we shall avoid, at any rate."
+
+Her lover having safely conducted Mary home, remained with her family
+only a few minutes, as the evening was advanced, and he had still to go
+as far as Castle Cumber, upon business connected with the manufactory,
+which M'Loughlin and his father had placed wholly under his
+superintendence.
+
+Upon what slight circumstances does the happiness of individuals,
+nay, even of states and kingdoms, too frequently depend! Harman most
+assuredly was incapable of altogether dismissing the circumstance of
+the evening--involved in mystery as they unquestionably were--out of his
+mind; not that he entertained the slightest possible suspicion of Mary's
+prudence or affection; but he felt a kind of surprise at the novelty
+of the position in which he saw she was placed, and no little pain in
+consequence of the disagreeable necessity for silence which she admitted
+had been imposed on her. His confidence in her, however, was boundless;
+and from this perfect reliance on her discretion and truth, he derived
+an assurance that she was acting with strict propriety under the
+circumstances, whatever might be their character or tendency.
+
+It may be necessary to mention here that a right of passage ran from
+Beleeven, the name of the village in which M'Loughlin resided, to the
+Castle Cumber high road, which it joined a little beyond Constitution
+Cottage, passing immediately through an angle of the clump of beeches
+already mentioned as growing behind the house. By this path, which
+shortened the way very much, Harman, and indeed every pedestrian
+acquainted with it, was in the habit of passing, and on the night in
+question he was proceeding along it at a pretty quick pace, when, having
+reached the beeches just alluded to, he perceived two figures, a male
+and female, apparently engaged in close and earnest conversation. The
+distance at first was too great to enable him to form any opinion as to
+who they were, nor would he have even asked himself the question, were
+it not that the way necessarily brought him pretty near them. The reader
+may form some conception then of his surprise, his perplexity, and,
+disguise it as he might, his pain, on ascertaining that the female was
+no other than Poll Doolin, and her companion, graceful Phil himself--the
+gallant and accomplished owner of Handsome Harry.
+
+It appeared quite evident that the subject matter of their conversation
+was designed for no other ears than their own, or why speak as they did
+in low and guarded tones, that implied great secrecy and caution. Nay,
+what proved still a plainer corroboration of this--no sooner was the
+noise of his footsteps heard, than Poll squatted herself down behind
+the small hedge which separated the pathway from the space on which they
+stood, and this clearly with a hope of concealing her person from
+his observation. Phil also turned away his face with a purpose of
+concealment, but the impression left by his lank and scraggy outline,
+as it stood twisted before Harman, was such as could not be mistaken.
+Poll's identity not only on this occasion, but also during her hasty
+separation from Mary, was now established beyond the possibility of a
+doubt; a fact which lent to both her interviews a degree of mystery that
+confounded Harman. On thinking over the matter coolly, he could scarcely
+help believing that Her appearance here was in some way connected with
+the, circumstances which had occasioned Mary so much agitation and
+alarm. This suspicion, however, soon gave way to a more generous
+estimate of her character, and he could not permit himself for a moment
+to imagine the existence of anything that was prejudicial to her truth
+and affection. At the same time he felt it impossible to prevent himself
+from experiencing a strong sense of anxiety, or perhaps we should say, a
+feeling of involuntary pain, which lay like a dead weight upon his heart
+and spirits. In truth, do what he might and reason as he would, he could
+not expel from his mind the new and painful principle which disturbed
+it. And thus he went on, sometimes triumphantly defending Mary from all
+ungenerous suspicion, and again writhing under the vague and shapeless
+surmises which the singular events of the evening sent crowding to
+his imagination. His dreams on retiring to seek repose were
+frightful--several times in the night he saw graceful Phil squinting
+at him with a nondescript leer of vengeance and derision in his yellow
+goggle eyes, and bearing Mary off, like some misshapen ogre of old,
+mounted upon Handsome Harry, who appeared to be gifted with the speed
+of Hark-away or flying Childers, whilst he himself could do nothing but
+stand helplessly by, and contemplate the triumph of his hated rival.
+
+In the mean time the respected father and grandfather of that worthy
+young gentleman were laboring as assiduously for his advancement in
+life as if he had been gifted with a catalogue of all human virtues.
+Old Deaker, true to his word, addressed the very next day the following
+characteristic epistle--
+
+"To the Right Hon. Lord Cumber.
+
+"My Lord--It is unnecessary to tell you that I was, during my life,
+a plain blunt fellow in all my transactions. When I was honest, I was
+honest like a man; and when I did the roguery, I did it like a open,
+fearless knave, that defied the world and scorned hypocrisy. I am,
+therefore, the same consistent old scoundrel as ever; or the same bluff,
+good-humored rascal which your old father--who sold his country--and
+yourself--who would sell it too, if you had one to sell--ever found me.
+To make short work, then, I want you to dismiss that poor, scurvy devil,
+Hickman, from your agency, and put that misbegotten spawn of mine in
+his place. I mean Val M'Clutchy, or Val the Vulture, as they have very
+properly christened him. Hickman's not the thing, in any sense. He can't
+manage the people, and they impose upon him--then you suffer, of course.
+Bedsides, he's an anti-ascendancy man, of late, and will go against you
+at the forthcoming Election. The fellow pretends to have a conscience,
+and be cursed to him--prates about the Union--preaches against
+corruption--and talks about the people, as if they were fit to be
+anything else than what they are. This is a pretty fellow for you to
+have as an agent to your property. Now, I'll tell you what, my Lord--you
+know old Deaker well. His motto is--'Let us eat, drink, and be merry,
+for to-morrow we die--' I'll tell you what, I say; I have a mortgage on
+your property for fourteen thousand pounds. Now, put in Val or I'll be
+speaking to my lawyer about it. Put in Val, or you will never warm your
+posteriors in a seat for this county, so long as I carry the key of it.
+In doing so, make no wry faces about it--you will only serve yourself
+and your property, and serve Val into the bargain. Val, to be sure,
+is as confounded a scoundrel as any of us, but then he is a staunch
+Protestant; and you ought not to be told at this time of day, that the
+greater the scoundrel the better the agent. Would you have a fellow,
+for instance, whose conscience, indeed, must stand between you and your
+interest? Would you have some honest blockhead, who, when you are to be
+served by a piece of friendly rascality, will plead scruples. If so, you
+are a greater fool than I ever took you to be. Make Val your agent, and
+it is not you that will suffer by him, but the people--whom, of course,
+no one cares a curse about. I ought to have some claim on you, I think.
+Many a lift I have given your precious old father, Tom Topertoe, when I
+did not think of pleading scruples. To tell you the truth, many a dirty
+trick I played for him, and never brought my conscience to account for
+it. Make the most of this rascally world, and of the rascals that are in
+it, for we are all alike in the grave. Put in Val, then, and don't made
+an enemy of
+
+"Your old friend,
+
+"Randal Deaker.
+
+"P.S.--As to Val, he knows nothing of this transaction--I told him I
+would say so, and I keep my word. I forgot to say that if you write this
+beggarly devil, Hickman, a sharp letter for money, he may probably
+save you the trouble of turning him out. I know him well--he is a thin
+skinned fool, and will be apt to bolt, if you follow my advice.
+
+"Yours as you deserve it,
+
+"R D."
+
+
+Now, it is necessary to say here, that amidst all this pretence of open
+villainy, there ran an undercurrent of cunning that might escape the
+observation of most men. In truth, old Deaker was not only a knave, but
+a most unscrupulous oppressor at heart, especially when he happened to
+get a man in his power from whom he wished to extort a favor, or on
+whom he wished to inflict an injury. In the present instance he felt
+perfectly conscious of his power over the heartless profligate, to whom
+he wrote such a characteristic letter, and the result shows that he
+neither miscalculated the feeble principles of his correspondent, nor
+the consequences of his own influence over him. By due return of post he
+received a reply, of which the following is a copy:--
+
+"Old Deaker--You have me fast, and you know it--so I suppose must is
+the word; now I'll tell you what I want, you old villain; I want two
+thousand pounds, and if M'Clutchy is to get the agency, I must have
+the money--so there is my must as well as yours. In the meantime I have
+written to Hickman on the same subject, want of money, I mean--what the
+consequences may be, I know not, but I fancy I can guess them.
+
+"Yours,
+
+"Cumber."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VI.--The Life and Virtues of an Irish Absentee
+
+--Duties of an Irish Landlord--An Apologue on Property--Reasons for
+Appointing an Agent--M'Clutchy's Notions of His Duties--Receipt to make
+a Forty Shilling Freeholder.
+
+
+Lord Cumber to Henry Hickman, Esq.
+
+"London, April 1st, 18--
+
+"My Dear Hickman,
+
+"I wrote to you the day before yesterday, and, as the letter was one of
+a very pressing nature, I hope its influence won't be lost upon you.
+To you who are so well acquainted with the cursed pickle in which I am
+placed, it is unnecessary to say that I shall be fairly done up, unless
+you can squeeze something for me out of those rascally tenants of mine.
+Fairly done up is not the proper term either; for between you and me, I
+strongly suspect a young fellow called Swingler, an ironmonger's son,
+of giving me a twist too much, on more than one occasion. He was
+introduced, that is, proposed as a member of our club, by Sir Robert
+Ratsbane, whose grandfather was a druggist, and seconded by Lord
+Loadstone, the celebrated lady-killer, as a regular pigeon, who dropped,
+by the death of old 'burn the wind,' into half a million at least. The
+fellow did appear to be a very capital speculation, but the whole thing,
+however, was a trick, as I strongly suspect; for after losing to a
+tolerably smart tune, our gentleman began to illustrate the doctrine of
+reaction, and has, under the character of a pigeon, already fleeced half
+a score of us. Last week I suffered to the tune of eight hundred--Sir
+Heavyhead to that of twelve--Bill Swag five--and the Hon. Tom Trickman
+himself, who scarcely ever loses, gave bills for six fifties. I can't
+stand this, Hickman, that is, I cannot afford to stand it. What is
+fifteen thousand a year to a man like me, who must support his rank, or
+be driven to the purgatorial alternative of being imprisoned on his own
+estate? Hickman, you have no bowels for me, although you can have for
+the hard-fisted boors on my property, who wont pay up as they ought, and
+all through your indolence and neglect. You must send me money, get it
+where you will; beg, borrow, rob, drive, cant, sell out--for money I
+must have. Two thousand within a fortnight, and no disappointment,
+or I'm dished. You know not the demands upon me, and therefore you,
+naturally enough, think very easily--much too easily--of my confounded
+difficulties. If you had an opera girl to keep, as I have--and a
+devilish expensive appendage the affectionate jade is--perhaps you might
+feel a little more Christian sympathy for me than you do. If you had the
+expense of my yacht--my large stud at Melton Mowbry and Doncaster, and
+the yearly deficits in my betting book, besides the never ending train
+of jockies, grooms, feeders, trainers, _et hoc genus omne_--to meet, it
+is probable, old boy, you would not feel so boundless an interest, as
+you say you do, in the peace and welfare of another man's tenantry, and
+all this at that other man's expense. You're confoundedly unreasonable,
+Hickman. Why feel, or pretend to feel, more for these fellows, their
+barelegged wives, and ragged brats, than you do for a nobleman of rank,
+to whom you are deeply indebted. I mean you no offence, Hickman; you are
+in other respects an honest fellow enough, and if possessed of only a
+little less heart, as the times go, and more skill in raising money from
+these people, you would be invaluable to such a distressed devil as I
+am. As it is, I regret to say, that you are more a friend to my tenantry
+than to myself, which is a poor qualification for an agent. In fact, we,
+the Irish aristocracy living here, or absentees as you call us, instead
+of being assailed by abuse, want of patriotism, neglect of duties, and
+all that kind of stuff, have an especial claim upon the compassion of
+their countrymen. If you knew what we, with limited means and encumbered
+properties, must suffer in attempting to compete with the aristocracy
+of this country, who are enormously rich, you would say that we deserve
+immortal credit for holding out and keeping up appearances as we
+do--not that I think we always come off scott-free from their ridicule,
+especially when they see the shifts to which we are put, in order to
+stretch onward at their own pace. However, we must drink when we are
+thirsty, as well as they, and if the water happen to be low in the
+cistern, which, indeed, is mostly the case with us, we must, as the
+rook in the fable did with the pebbles, throw in rack-renting, drivings,
+executions, mortgages, loans, &c, in order to bring it within our
+reach--for there is ingenuity in everything, as the proverb says, except
+in roasting of eggs.
+
+"Come, then, Hickman, set to work at once. My yacht has been damaged by
+a foolish wager I made to run her through a creek of reefs at low water,
+so that the mere repairs will cost me a cool two hundred at least.
+Besides this, I have pledged myself to buy my charming little Signora a
+pair of Blenheim spaniels that she has fallen in love with, for which I
+shall have to fork out a hundred and fifty down. I say, then, again,
+my dear Hickman, money, money; money by _any_ means, but by _all_ means
+money; _rem, sed quocunque modo rem_.
+
+"By the way is there not a man there, a kind of under-fellow in
+something--agent, I believe--some time appointed, named M'Snitchy, or
+M'Smatchey, M'Clutchy, or some such euphonious appellative? Somebody,
+old Deaker I think, once mentioned him to me in strong terms, and said
+he might become capable of being useful; and you know, Hickman, as well
+as I do, that every property circumstanced as mine is, requires a useful
+fellow of that particular description. For instance, I dare say, there
+are certain proceedings connected with your duty to which you have
+no great inclination, and, under these circumstances, would it not
+be prudent at least to resort to the agency of somebody like this
+M'Clutchy; a fellow not overburthened with too strong a perception of
+the necessary pressure. But the truth is, if I proceed in this manner,
+your humanity, as the cant goes, will take the alarm; you will say that
+my residence abroad has not improved my principles; and that I am rather
+strongly tainted with club morality, and the ethics of the gaming,
+house. So would you, perhaps, if you breathed my atmosphere, and were
+exposed to my temptations. But now I am preaching, and not to the right
+purpose either; so as I said before, I say again--money, money, money.
+
+"I am, my dear Hickman,
+"Thy friend in distress,
+"Cumber."
+
+
+Henry Hickman, Esq., to the Right Honorable Lord Viscount Cumber:--
+
+Primrose Hill, April 18--
+
+"My Lord:
+
+"I have had the honor of receiving both your communications, and have
+read them, especially that of the first instant, with great pain. I need
+not tell you, that I have been your father's friend--that I have been,
+and still am your friend, and as such, from my age and anxiety for your
+lordship's welfare and reputation, I must take the liberty of one who
+has both sincerely at heart, to write to you in terms which a mere agent
+could not with propriety use. As this letter, therefore, is written
+for your own eye only, you will be good enough to remember that in
+everything severe and home-spoken in it, the friend, and not the agent
+speaks--at the same time, I must admit, that it is from the knowledge
+gained as an agent that I remonstrate as a friend.
+
+"It is now beyond a doubt, my Lord, that your position is one surrounded
+with difficulties scarcely to be surmounted, unless by measures which I,
+as an honest man, cannot permit myself to adopt. So long as the course
+of life, which it has pleased your lordship's better taste and judgment
+to pursue, did not bring within the compass of my duties as your agent,
+the exhibition of principles at variance with humanity and justice, so
+long did I fulfil those duties with all the ability and zeal for your
+just interests which I could exert. But now I perceive, that you have
+driven me to that line beyond which I cannot put my foot, without
+dishonor to myself. I have been the agent of your property, my Lord, but
+I shall never become the instrument of your vices; and believe me, this
+is a distinction which in our unhappy country, is too seldom observed.
+Many an agent, my Lord, has built himself a fortune out of the very
+necessities of his employer, and left to his children the honorable
+reflection that their independence originated from profligacy on the one
+hand and dishonesty on the other. You see, my Lord, I find it necessary
+to be very plain with you, and to say, that however you may feel
+yourself disposed to follow the one course, I shall not rival you in the
+other. I cannot become a scourge inflicted by your necessities, not to
+use a harsher word, upon a suffering people, who are already exhausted
+and provoked by an excess of severity and neglect. Think of the
+predicament in which you would have me stand--of the defence which you
+place, in my lips. Should your tenantry ask me--'why are you thus cruel
+and oppressive-upon us?' what reply could I make but this--'I am thus
+cruel because his lordship is profligate. He wants money to support
+his-mistress, to feed her vanities and excesses, and you must endure
+distress and privation, that the insatiable rapacity of a courtezan may
+be gratified. His lordship, too, has horses and dogs, in the welfare of
+which he feels a deep interest.' 'But why does he not feel an interest
+in us?' 'So he does, for are not you the persons by whose toil and labor
+he is enabled to support them all?' 'So that in point of fact, we
+are made indirectly the agents of his crimes. The privations which
+we suffer--the sweat of our brows--the labor of our hands, go to
+the-support of his wantonness, his luxury, and his extravagance!
+This, then, is his interest in us?' 'Yes--_work, that you may feed
+them_--starve, that his mistress may riot in wantonness; perish your
+children that his dogs may be fed!' In such a position as this, my Lord,
+I shall never place myself, but you may easily find many that will. The
+moment your necessities are known, knavery will be immediately at work,
+and assume its guardianship over folly. Indeed there is a monarchical
+spirit in knavery, which has never yet been observed. The knave keeps
+his fool, as did the kings of old, with this only difference, and a
+material one it is--that whilst the fool always lived at the king's
+expense, the knave lives at the fool's. How your lordship may feel under
+the new administration I cannot say, but I am inclined to think, you
+will not find it a distinction without a difference. By this, of course,
+you understand, my Lord, that I at once resign my agency.
+
+"And now, my Lord, in addition to many other unavailable remonstrances
+made by me, not only against your licentious habits as a man, but
+against your still more indefensible conduct as a landlord, allow me
+to address you in a spirit of honesty, which I fear is not easily found
+among the class to which I belong. I look upon this as a duty which I
+owe less to you than to my country, because I am satisfied that the
+most important service which can be rendered to any man, not ashamed
+of either your habits or principles, is to lay before him a clear, but
+short and simple statement, of that which constitutes his duty as
+a landlord--I should say an Irish landlord--for there is a national
+idiosyncrasy of constitution about such a man, which appears to prevent
+him from properly discharging his duties, either as a friend to himself,
+or a just man to his tenantry.
+
+"The first principle, therefore, which an Irish landlord--or, indeed any
+landlord--should lay down, as his fixed and unerring guide, is ever to
+remember that his tenantry are his best friends--his only patrons--and
+that instead of looking down upon them with contempt, neglect, or even
+indifference, he should feel that they are his chief benefactors, who
+prop his influence, maintain his rank, and support his authority.
+
+"The second is--that the duties of the landlord to his tenantry are much
+greater, and far more important than those of his tenantry to him, and
+should at least be quite as equitably and attentively discharged.
+
+"The third is--to remember that the great mass of the population in
+Ireland belong to one creed, and the great bulk of landed proprietors
+to another; and to take care that none of those fierce and iniquitous
+prerogatives of power, which are claimed and exercised by those who
+possess property, shall be suffered, in the name of religion, or
+politics, or prejudice of any kind, to disturb or abridge the civil or
+religious rights of the people, and thus weaken the bonds which should
+render the interests of landlord and tenant identical. Prejudice so
+exercised is tyranny. Every landlord should remember that the soil is of
+no religion.
+
+"The fourth is--simply to remember that those who live upon our
+property have bodies and souls, passions, reflections, and feelings
+like ourselves. That they are susceptible of hunger, cold, grief,
+joy, sickness, and sorrow--that they love their children and domestic
+relatives, are attached to their religion, bound by strong and heartfelt
+ties to the soil they live on, and are, in fact, moved by all those
+general laws and principles of life and nature, which go to make up
+social and individual happiness--to remember, in short, that they are
+men who have higher destinies in life, than merely administering to the
+wants, excesses, or crimes of others; and that no condition has ever yet
+been known to subsist between landlord and tenant, or even between man
+and man, by which one party is required to surrender comfort, freedom,
+and enjoyment, in fact, all that life is good for, merely to gratify the
+wants, vices, or ambition of the other.
+
+"The fifth and last is--not by oppression, cruelty, or rapacity, to goad
+the people into madness and outrage, under the plausible name of law
+or justice; or to drive the national mind--which is a clear one--into
+reflections that may lead it to fall back upon first principles, or
+force it to remember that the universal consent by which the rights of
+property are acknowledged, may, under the exasperation of overstrained
+pressure, in a land so peculiarly circumstanced as Ireland is,
+be altogether withheld, and thus its whole foundations shaken or
+overturned, and the justice of individual claims and prescriptive right
+lost in the tumult.
+
+"These principles are simple, my Lord, but they ought at least to be
+better known, or what would be still more desirable, better practised.
+As, however, my paper is nearly filled, I shall finish my communication
+with a short fab!e, to which I beg your lordship's serious attention.
+
+"There lived a man once, who was foolish enough to entertain a senseless
+prejudice against cows, because they did not give milk all the year
+round. This man was married, and of course, had a numerous family of
+children, and being very lazy and improvident, depended principally upon
+the kindliness of an excellent cow, whose milk was the chief means of
+his support and theirs. At length in the due course of time, the poor
+cow, as every one must know, began to yield it in diminished quantities,
+and as it happened to be a severe year, and as the lazy man we speak of
+had made no provision for its occurrence, it is unnecessary to say that
+he and his family were put to the greatest straits for subsistence.
+Finding, after much deliberation, that the poor animal, which they
+kicked and cudgelled to excess could not change the laws of nature, or
+afford them that which she did not possess, it was determined by her
+proprietor, that as she failed in supplying them with sufficient milk
+they should try the fleams, and have recourse to her blood, in order
+to eke out their support. Accordingly she was bled, along with being
+milked; but if the quantity of milk she gave before was little, it now
+became less, so that in proportion as they drew upon the one the other
+diminished, as was but natural. In this way they proceeded, milking and
+bleeding the poor animal at the same time, not only without any benefit
+to themselves, but with a certain prospect of her ultimate loss, when
+one day the cow, after having ruminated for some time on the treatment
+she was receiving, began to reflect that she could not be much worse,
+or rather that she must soon altogether sink under this system of double
+drainage. 'Well' thought she, 'I feel how matters must close with me
+at last; I am indeed near the end of my tether; what have I now to fear
+when I know that I cannot be worse? And if I am to die, as I must, is it
+not better to have satisfaction for my sufferings'? Accordingly, me next
+morning when her owner went to get blood for their breakfast, it so
+happened that the cow thrust a horn into him, and he was found lying
+a corpse under her lifeless carcase--the last drop of her blood having
+been expended under the final operation of the fleams. My Lord, the
+moral of this is as obvious as it is fearful--and fearfully have the
+circumstances of the country, and the principles of such men as you,
+caused it to be illustrated. If landlords will press too severely
+upon the functions of human suffering and patience, it is not to be
+surprised, although it is to be deplored, that where no legal remedy
+exists against individual cruelty or rapacity, or that plausible
+selfishness, which is the worst species of oppression--that the law, I
+say, which protects only the one party should be forgotten or despised
+by the other, and a fiercer code of vengeance substituted in its stead.
+
+"With respect to Mr. M'Clutchy, surely your lordship must remember that
+by your own letter he was appointed under agent more than three years
+ago.
+
+"If, after the many remonstrances I have had occasion to make against
+his general conduct to the tenants, you consider him a useful man upon
+your property, you will, in that case, have to abide the consequences of
+your confidence in him. You are, at all events, duly forewarned.
+
+"I now must beg leave, my Lord, to render up my trust, to resign my
+situation as the agent of your estates--I do so with pain, but the
+course of your lordship's life has left me no other alternative. I
+cannot rack and goad your tenants, nor injure your own property. I
+cannot paralyze industry, cramp honest exertion, or distress poverty
+still further, merely to supply necessities which are little less than
+criminal in yourself and ruinous to your tenantry.
+
+"Believe me, my Lord, I would not abandon you in your difficulties, if I
+saw any honorable means of extricating you from them. You know, however,
+that every practicable step has been taken for that purpose, but without
+effect--your property should grow rapidly indeed, in order to keep pace
+with the increasing and incessant demands which are made upon it. We
+can borrow no more, and the knowledge of that fact alone, ought to set
+a limit to your extravagance. Excuse this plainness, my Lord, it is well
+meant and void of intentional offence.
+
+"I shall be ready in a few days to deliver all books, papers, documents,
+&c, connected With the property, to any person duly authorized by your
+Lordship to receive them.
+
+"I have the honor to be, &c,
+
+"Henby Hickman."
+
+
+The Right Honorable Lord Cumber to Valentine M'Clutchy:--
+
+Doncaster, April, 18--
+
+"Sir:
+
+"In consequence of certain communications which have passed between Mr.
+Hickman and myself, I have determined that he shall no longer act in
+the capacity of my agent. The situation is therefore open, and, until
+a competent person shall be appointed, I authorize you to discharge its
+duties, and receive from him a correct statement of all accounts
+between us, together with all deeds, leases, books, papers, &c, in his
+possession; you first having procured me adequate security, the amount
+of which will be determined by M'Slime, my law agent, who will join or
+aid you in making all necessary arrangements.
+
+"You will also have the goodness, as soon afterwards as you feel it
+practicable, to transmit me a bond fide account of the Ballyrocket and
+Tulygrindem estates, their capability of improvement, condition of the
+tenantry, what leases are expired, if any, and those which will soon
+drop, with a view of seeing what can be made out of it. In this, also,
+M'Slime will aid you.
+
+"As to the person who may succeed Hickman, as a necessary preliminary he
+must lay down two thousand pounds, in the shape of an equivalent for the
+appointment. Could you within a fortnight or so, raise so much? If so,
+let me hear from you without delay, as it is not unlikely in that case,
+I may appoint yourself.
+
+"By the way, do you understand the manufacture of forty shilling
+free-holders in an economical way, because if you do, it would be a
+desideratum. Parliament, it is said, will be dissolved in June, and I
+want, as well as I can remember, nearly two hundred votes. My brother
+lost the last election by something about that number, and I know he
+feels very anxious to get into parliament for many reasons. He is now on
+the continent, where he has been for the last three years."
+
+
+Valentine M'Clutchy, Esq., to the Right Hon. Lord Viscount Cumber:--
+
+"My Lord:
+
+"I have had the honor of receiving your Lordship's kind communication,
+to which I hasten to make the earliest possible reply. And first, my
+Lord, allow me to return sincere thanks for your warm kindness, in
+promising to appoint me your agent. You may rest assured, my Lord, that
+I will go through my duties as such without favor or affection to any
+one, barring your lordship, whose interests it will night and day become
+my duty to study. With, respect to the loan your lordship makes allusion
+to, I fear it will be out of my power to raise it--that is to the full
+amount; but if one-half would do, I might by the aid of friends get it
+together. As for security, I trust it is only necessary to say, that
+Randal Deaker and Cadwallader Tullywagger, Esqrs., are ready to give it
+to any amount, so that there is no difficulty there at all events.
+
+"On looking again at your lordship's kind letter, it appears possible
+that I made a mistake in considering the two thousand as a loan; but
+on the other hand, there is not a man living, who respects the high
+principles and delicate feelings of our aristocracy more than I do,
+and the consequence was, that I feared in supposing it otherwise than a
+loan, I might offend your lordship's keen sense of honor, which I pledge
+my credit and reputation would grieve my heart even to think of. Under
+this impression, then, I shall continue to believe it a loan, until I
+have the honor of hearing from your lordship again.
+
+"Your anxiety, my Lord, to ascertain the state of your property and the
+condition of your tenantry is certainly honorable to yourself, as being
+a direct proof of the generous interest you feel in their welfare. It is
+fortunate in this instance, that your lordship should apply to a man who
+has had the opportunities of becoming acquainted with both. True, I am
+a simple-minded man, my Lord, and if I possess one quality more
+than another it is a love of truth, and a slow, but straightforward
+perseverance in whatever is right. It is to this, always under
+Providence, that I owe everything. I grant indeed, that it ill becomes
+me to speak in this manner of myself, but my object in doing so is,
+that as I am about to enter into communications touching your lordship's
+tenants and property, you may be induced to place the fullest confidence
+in whatever I shall say. Many a time, indeed, my excellent and worthy
+friend, Mr. Hickman, has made the same observation, and I felt it
+gratifying in the highest degree to hear this from a man who is truth
+itself, and whose only fault is--if it be one--that his heart is too
+kind, and rather easily imposed on by those who deal in fraud and
+cunning. A man like him, who, if he cannot speak well of an absent
+friend, will be silent, is a jewel in this life which ought to be worn
+in the very core of the heart.
+
+"With respect to the Ballyracket estate, of which I shall speak first, I
+cannot report so favorably as I could wish. The task, in fact, is to me,
+personally, a very painful one; especially with reference to that well
+meaning and estimable gentleman, Mr. Hickman. In the first place, my
+Lord, the tenantry are not at all in arrears, a circumstance which is
+by no means in favor of the landlord, especially an Irish one. Every one
+knows that an Irish landlord has other demands upon his tenantry besides
+the payment of their rents. Is there no stress, for instance, to be laid
+upon his political influence, which cannot be exerted unless
+through their agency? Now a tenant not in arrears to his landlord is
+comparatively independent, but it is not with an independent tenantry
+that a landlord can work his wishes. No, my Lord; the safe principle
+is to keep the tenant two or three gales behind, and if he fails in
+submission, or turns restiff, and becomes openly contumacious, then
+you have the means of rectifying the errors of his judgment in your own
+hands, and it can be done with the color of both law and justice, behind
+which any man may stand without the imputation of harsh motives, or
+an excessive love of subordination. I am sorry that Mr. Hickman should
+differ with me on this point, for he is a man whose opinions are
+very valuable on many things, with the exception of his amiable and
+kind-hearted obstinacy.
+
+"The next disadvantage to your interests, my Lord, is another error--I
+am sorry to be forced to say it--of Mr. Hickman. That gentleman is an
+advocate for education and the spread of knowledge. Now if an agent were
+as much devoted to the interests of the people as he is and ought to be
+to those of the landlord, this principle might pass; but as I take it,
+that the sole duty of an agent is to extend the interest of his employer
+exclusively, so am I opposed to any plan or practice by which the people
+may be taught to think too clearly. For let me ask, my Lord, what class
+of persons, at the approach of an election, for instance, or during
+its continuance, are most available for our interests? Who are driven
+without reluctance, without thought, or without reason, in blind and
+infatuated multitudes, to the hustings? Certainly not those who have
+been educated, or taught to think and act for themselves; but the poor
+and the ignorant. And, my Lord, is not the vote of an ignorant man as
+valid in law as one who is enlightened? For these reasons, then, I do
+not approve of the new schools which Mr. Hickman has established; and
+I was pleased to hear that your lordship was sufficiently awake to your
+own interests, to decline granting them any support. No, my Lord; an
+educated people will be a thinking people--a thinking people will be an
+independent people--but an independent people will not be a manageable
+people; and if that is not placing the subject in a satisfactory light,
+I know not what is.
+
+"I need scarcely assure you, my Lord, that in my own humble way, I did
+everything I reasonably could to discountenance the education system. I
+even went so far as to prevent several of the tenants from sending
+their children to these schools; but, as usual, I experienced but little
+gratitude at their hands, or at those of their parents. This, however,
+was not so much owing to my interference, as to the accidental
+circumstance of three or four of them having been hanged or transported
+for crimes which they were base enough to impute to the ignorance
+occasioned by my principles--for so they spoke.
+
+"Such then is the condition of the Ballyracket tenantry. They are not in
+arrears, and you may consequently guess at the wretched state of their
+moral feelings. They are, in fact, every day becoming more aware of the
+very kind of knowledge which we don't wish them to possess. They do not
+slink aside when they see you now; on the contrary, they stand erect,
+and look you fearlessly in the face. Upon my credit and reputation
+this is truth--melancholy truth, my Lord--and I fear that at the next
+election you will find it so to your cost.
+
+"I have lost no time in ascertaining the other particulars mentioned in
+your lordship's letter. The leases of three townlands expired on
+March last. They are Derrydowny, Cracknaboulteen, and Ballyweltem. The
+principal tenant of Derrydowny is a very respectable widow---one Mrs.
+M'Swaddle--a woman of serious habits, if not of decided piety. She
+has three daughters, all of whom sit under the ministration of a Mr.
+Bolthan--which is pronounced Bottom--a young preacher, belonging to the
+Methodist connection. They are to all appearance well in the world, keep
+a conversation car, and have the reputation of being very honest and
+saving--Old M'Swaddle himself was a revenue collector, and it is
+said, died richer than they are willing to admit. Cracknaboulteen is
+altogether in the possession of the celebrated family of the M'Kegs--or,
+as they are called, the Five Sols--the name of each being Solomon, which
+is shortened into Sol. There is lame Sol, blind Sol, long Sol, uncertain
+Sol, and Sol of the mountain. They are celebrated distillers of poteen
+whiskey, but are not rich. The estate, in fact, would be better without
+them, were it not for their votes. The townland of Ballyweltem is
+principally the property of a wild faction, named M'Kippeen, whose great
+delight is to keep up perpetual feud against an opposite faction of
+the O'Squads, who on their part are every whit as eager for the fray as
+their enemies. These are also poor enough, and in an election are
+not to be depended on. I should say, in addition to this, that several
+renewal, fines will fall in during the course of the winter. I
+shall, however, examine the leases, and other documents, still more
+searchingly, and see what can be got out of it, and how far we can go.
+
+"The Tullygrindem estate is, I am sorry to say, in a still more
+disheartening condition. There is a very bitter and knowing family
+living on the townland of Beleeven, named M'Loughlin, who contrive to
+spread dangerous and destructive principles among the tenantry. They
+are cunning, unscrupulous, and vindictive, but cautious, plausible, and
+cloaked with the deepest hypocrisy. I have been endeavoring for years
+to conciliate, or rather, reform them by kindness, but hitherto
+without effect; whether I shall ultimately succeed in purifying this
+fountain-head of bigotry and unconstitutional principle--I do not wish
+to use a shorter, but a much stronger term--I cannot yet say. I
+shall, at all events, from a sense of justice to you, my Lord, and of
+kindness--mistaken it may be, I grant you--to them, continue to make the
+desirable attempt. My amiable friend, Hickman, has certainly been
+made the dupe of their adroitness, but, indeed, he is too simple
+and credulous for this world, as every kind-hearted man, with great
+benevolence and little judgment, usually is. If I had not risen honestly
+and honorably, as I trust I may say, through the gradations of office
+upon this property, I think it probable I, might myself have been
+deceived and misled by the natural and seductive tact of this dangerous
+family. Mr. Hickman espouses their quarrel, not exactly their quarrel,
+but their cause against me; but that is so completely in accordance with
+his easy simplicity of character, and his pardonable love of popularity,
+that it rather endears him to, me than otherwise.
+
+"Indeed, I may say, my Lord, candidly and confidentially, that there
+is a spirit abroad upon your estates, which requires to be vigilantly
+watched, and checked with all due and reasonable promptitude; I allude
+principally to these M'Loughlins, and when I state that my excellent
+and well disposed friend is absolutely popular among your tenantry, even
+although he made them pay up to the very last gale, and that I am by no
+means in good odor with them, you will not be surprised when I furnish
+your lordship with a key to this same state of feeling which exists so
+generally in this country. This, then, my Lord, is the secret:--whenever
+an Irish agent devotes himself honestly to the wants, wishes, and
+interests of his employer, especially if he be needy and pressed for
+money, so sure will he become unpopular with the tenantry. Now, I am
+somewhat unpopular with the tenantry, and my amiable friend, Hickman, is
+beloved by them; but I think your lordship by this time understands the
+why and the wherefore on both sides. As your agent, my Lord, I should
+regret such popularity, at the same time, I think the intentions of
+poor, sweet, amiable Hickman's heart, are such as we must all love and
+admire.
+
+"With respect, my Lord, to the manufacture of the "forties," as a
+certain comical class of freeholders are termed, I could have easily
+undertaken to double the number you mention, on the most reasonable
+terms, were it not for the discouraging system adopted by Mr. Hickman.
+As it is, I must see what can be done; but your lordship knows that I
+can take no step either in this or anything else, until my appointment
+shall be finally confirmed. Perhaps you are not aware of the remarkable
+document, on the subject in question, which has recently gone its rounds
+in this country. It is called--
+
+"'A RECEIPT TO MAKE A FORTY SHILLING FREEHOLDER.'
+
+"'Take the poorest Irishman you can get, he must be destitute and
+ignorant, for then he will be slavish, give him a mud cabin, but no
+education; let the former be a bad model of an indifferent pig-stye, and
+held at thrice its value. Put him to repose on a comfortable bed of
+damp straw, with his own coat and his wife's petticoat, for bed-clothes.
+Pamper him on two half meals of potatoes and point per day--with water
+_ad libitum_. For clothing--let him have a new shirt once every three
+years--to give him exercise and keep him clean--a hat once in every
+seven, and brogues whenever he can get them. His coat and breeches--lest
+he might grow too independent--must be worn upon the principle of the
+Highlander's knife, which, although a century in the family, was never
+changed, except sometimes the handle and sometimes the blade. Let his
+right to vote be founded upon a freehold property of six feet square, or
+as much as may be encompassed by his own shift, and take care that there
+be a gooseberry bush in the centre of it; he must have from four to
+ten children, as a proof of his standing in society, all fashionably
+dressed, and coming at the rate of one every twelve months. Having thus,
+by a liberal system of feeding and clothing, rendered him strong for
+labor, you must work him from dark to dark--pay him fourpence a day for
+three quarters of the year, with permission to beg or starve for the
+remainder. When in health task him beyond his strength, and when
+sick neglect him--for there is nothing so beautiful as kindness in a
+landlord, and gratitude in a tenant--and thus will your virtues become
+reciprocal. He must live under a gradation of six landlords, so that
+whoever defaults, he may suffer--and he will have the advantage of six
+tyrants instead of one. Your agent is to wheedle, and your bailiff to
+bully him; the one must promise, and the other threaten; but if both
+fail, you must try him yourself. Should he become intractable under all
+this, you must take purer measures.--Compliment him on his wife--praise
+and admire his children--play upon his affections, and corrupt him
+through his very virtues--for that will show that you love your country
+and her people better than your own interests. Place a promise of
+independence on one side of him, but a ruined cottage and extermination
+on the other. When all his scruples are thus honorably overcome, and his
+conscience skilfully removed, take him for twenty minutes or so out of
+his rags, put him into a voting suit that he may avoid suspicion, bring
+him up to the poll--steep him in the strongest perjury, then strip him
+of his voting suit, clap him into his rags, and having thus fitted him
+for the perpetration of any treachery or crime, set him at large
+once more, that he may disseminate your own principles upon your
+own property, until you may require him again. Having thus honestly
+discharged your duty to God and your country, go calmly to your pillow,
+where you can rest in the consciousness of having done all that a
+virtuous man and true patriot can do, to promote the comfort and
+independence of his fellow creatures.'
+
+"I have the honor to be, &c., &c.,
+"VAL M'CLUTCHY,"
+
+
+
+Lord Cumber to Solomon M'Slime, Esq., Attorney at Law:
+
+"DEAR SIR:
+
+"Enclosed is a letter to Mr. M'Clutchy, which I will trouble you to
+forward to him as soon as you can. It contains his appointment to the
+vacant agency, together with the proper power of attorney, and I have
+every reason to hope that my property will improve under him. I did
+think it no breach of any honorable principle to make him advance, by
+way of compensation, the sum of two thousand pounds. It is a thing very
+usually done, I am aware, and by men who would not bear any imputation
+against their honor. But I know not how it is, his letter has deterred
+me from taking the money in that light. It would be certainly too bad
+to allow a person of his birth and standing in the world to teach one
+of mine a lesson in delicacy of feeling. For this reason, then, let
+him advance the money on the usual terms of loan:--that you can
+adjust between you. All I ask is, that you will not lose one moment
+of unnecessary time in accomplishing this business, and remitting the
+money. Two thousand in a fortnight will be of more value to me than four
+in a month, owing to the peculiar difficulties in which I am placed.
+
+"Yours, CUMBER.
+
+"P.S.--I say, my little saint, I hope you are as religious as ever--but
+in the meantime as it is not unlikely--but on the contrary very
+probable--if not altogether certain--that I shall be in Ireland should
+the election take place, I trust you will have the kindness to let me
+know if there's e'er a pretty girl in the neighborhood--that wants
+a friend and protector--ha, ha, ha--as great a sinner as ever, you
+see--but for that reason you know the more entitled to your prayers
+for my conversion. The greater the saint, the greater the sinner
+now-a-days--or is it the other way? I forget.
+
+"CUMBER."
+
+
+Lord Cumber to Val M'Clutchy, enclosed in the above:
+
+"Dear Sir:
+
+"I am very happy in appointing you to the important situation of my
+agent, with all the necessary powers and authority to act as may best
+seem to you for my advantage. The money I will take on your own terms,
+only I beg that you will lose no time in remitting it. I agree with you
+in thinking that Mr. Hickman, however well meaning, was deficient
+in firmness and penetration of character, so far as the tenants were
+concerned; and I would recommend you to avoid the errors which you
+perceived in him. With many principles laid down in your letter I agree,
+but not with all. For instance, if I understand you right, you would
+appear to advocate too much indulgence to the tenantry at my expense;
+for what else is allowing them to run into arrears. This certainly
+keeps the money out of my pocket, and you cannot surely expect me to
+countenance such a proceeding as that:--whilst I say this, it is due to
+you that I consider your ultimate object a correct one. Property loses
+a great portion of its value, unless a landlord's influence over the
+people be as strong as his right to the soil; and for this reason, the
+duty of every landlord is to exercise as powerful a control over the
+former, and get as much out of the latter as he can. The landlords, to be
+sure, are of one religion and the people of another; but so long as we
+can avail ourselves of the latter for political purposes, we need care
+but little about their creed. The results in this case are precisely the
+same as if the country were Protestant, and that is as much as we
+want. Indeed I question if the whole Irish population were Protestant
+to-morrow, whether the fact would not be against us. I now speak
+as identifying myself with British interests. Would we find them as
+manageable and as easily shaped to our purposes? I fear not. They would
+demand education, knowledge, and all the fulness of civil liberty; they
+would become independent, they would think for themselves, and in
+what predicament would that place us? Could we then work our British
+interests, foster British prejudices, and aid British ambition as we do?
+Certainly not, unless we had the people with us, and without them we are
+nothing.
+
+"On the whole, then, so long as we continue to maintain our proper
+influence over them, I think, without doubt, we are much safer as we
+stand.
+
+"With respect to the discharge of your duty, your own judgment will be a
+better guide than mine. As I said before, avoid Hickman's errors; I fear
+he was too soft, credulous, and easily played upon. Excess of feeling,
+in fact, is a bad qualification in an agent. Humanity is very well in
+its place; but a strong sense of duty is worth a thousand of it.
+It strikes me, that you would do well to put on a manner in your
+intercourse with the tenants, as much opposed to Hickman's as possible.
+Be generally angry, speak loud, swear roundly, and make them know their
+place. To bully and browbeat is not easily done with success, even in
+a just cause, although with a broken-spirited people it is a good gift;
+but after all I apprehend the best method is just to adapt your bearing
+to the character of the person you have to deal with, if you wish, as
+you ought, to arrive at that ascendency of feeling on your part, and
+subserviency on theirs, which are necessary to keep them in proper
+temper for your purposes.
+
+"Your receipt for making a forty shilling freeholder contains many
+excellent ingredients, but I do not think it was honestly drawn up; that
+is, I believe it to be the production of some one who was not friendly
+to that system of franchise. I have little else to say, except that you
+will find it necessary I think to be very firm and rigorous. Remember
+that we are here to-day, and gone to-morrow; so upon this principle keep
+them moving at a steady pace. In three words, think of my difficulties,
+and get all you can out of them--still remembering, as we say in the
+ring, never to train them below their strength, for that would be the
+loss of our own battle.
+
+"Yours,
+"Cumber."
+
+
+Solomon M'Slime, Esq., Attorney-at-law, to Lord Cumber,
+
+"My esteemed Lord:
+
+"I had the unmerited honor--for, indeed, to a man sensible of his many
+frailties as I am, I feel it is an unmerited honor--to receive any
+communication from one whom the Lord hath exalted to a place of such
+high rank in this world, as that which your lordship so worthily fills.
+It gives me great gratification, my Lord, to learn from your last letter
+that you have appointed my friend, Mr. Valentine M'Clutchy, as your
+agent. I am not in the habit of attributing such circumstances as
+this--being, as they generally are, matters of mere worldly prudence
+and convenience--to any over-ruling cause from above; but truly the
+appointment of such a man at this particular time, looks as if there
+were a principle of good at work for your lordship's interests. May you
+continue, as you do, to deserve it! Your change of agents is, indeed,
+one that, through the talent, energy, and integrity of Mr. M'Clutchy, is
+likely to redound much and largely to your own benefit. In his capacity
+of under agent, I have had frequent opportunities of transacting
+business with him; and when I contrast his quickness, clearness,
+honesty, and skill, with the evident want of----but no, my Lord; far be
+it from me, as a Christian man, to institute any rash comparison either
+in favor of my fellow-creature or against him, so long as sin and
+prejudice even for that which is good, and frailty, may render us, as
+they often do, liable to error. In Mr. M'Clutchy it is possible I may
+be mistaken; in Mr. Hickman it is possible I may be mistaken--I am not
+infallible--I am frail--a very sinner, but not removed wholly, I would
+trust, out of the range of grace. My Lord, I say again, that, as a
+conscientious man, and as far as mere human reason--which is at best
+but short-sighted--enables me to judge, I am truly cheered in spirit by
+this, I trust, providential change in the agency of your property. My
+Lord, in my various correspondence, I generally endeavor to make it
+a rule not to forget my Christian duties, or, so to speak, to cast a
+single grain of the good seed into the hearts of those to whom I am
+privileged to write. The calls of religion are, indeed, strong upon
+us, if we permitted ourselves to listen to them as we ought. Will your
+lordship then pardon me for reminding you, that, however humble the
+instrument, I have before now been the honored means of setting your
+godly examples of charity before the world, with the single-hearted
+purpose and hope that it might imitate your virtues. There is in the
+neighborhood a case at present of great distress, in the person of a
+widow and her three young children, who have been left destitute by the
+guilt and consequent deportation of her unhappy husband to Australia,
+for the crime of feloniously abstracting live mutton. I defended him
+professionally, or, I should say--although I do not boast of it--with an
+eye to the relief of his interesting wife, but without success; and what
+rendered his crime more unpardonable, he had the unparalleled wickedness
+to say, that he was instigated to it by the ill-advice and intemperate
+habits of this amiable woman. Will your lordship, then, allow me to put
+your honored name in the list of her Christian friends? Allow me, my
+Lord, to subscribe myself,
+
+"Your lordship's frail, unworthy,
+"But faithful and honored servant,
+"Solomon M'Slime."
+
+"P.S.--With respect to your jocose and ironical postscript, may I again
+take the liberty of throwing in a word in season. If your lordship could
+so far assume a proper Christian seriousness of character, as to render
+the act of kindness and protection on your part such as might confer a
+competent independence upon a female of religious dispositions, I doubt
+not, should your lordship's charity continue unabated on your arrival
+here, that some such desirable opportunity might offer, as that of
+rescuing a comely but desolate maiden from distress.
+
+"There is, indeed, a man here living on your lordship's property, who
+has a daughter endowed with a large portion of that vain gift called
+beauty. Her father and family are people of bad principle, without
+conscience or honesty, and, withal, utterly destitute of religion--not
+but that they carry themselves very plausibly to the world. Among such
+people, my Lord, it is not possible that this engaging damsel, who is
+now so youthful and innocent, could resist the evil influence of the
+principles that prevail in her family. Indeed, her abiding among them
+cannot be for her welfare in any sense.
+
+"I have the honor, &c."
+
+
+Valentine M'Clutchy, Esq., to Solomon M'Slime.
+
+"My dear M'Slime:
+
+"As it is beyond any doubt, that in the fair discharge of our duty, you
+and I can be mutually serviceable to each other; and as it is equally
+evident that it is our interest, and what is more, the interest of Lord
+Cumber, that we should be so, I therefore think it right to observe,
+that in all transactions between us, each should treat the other with
+the most perfect confidence. For this reason, I beg to assure you, once
+for all, that in any proceeding that may appear harsh towards any of
+his lordship's tenantry, I am and shall be actuated by no other feeling,
+than a strong, conscientious sense of my duty to him. This is, was, and
+will bo the principle of my whole life. And you know very well, my dear
+M'Slime, that if I were less devoted to those interests than I am, my
+popularity would be greater among the tenantry. Indeed, few men have
+a right to know this better than yourself, inasmuch as you stand in
+precisely the same beloved relation to them that I do.
+
+"Our excellent friend Hickman is a very worthy man and exceedingly well
+meaning. Don't you think so? Oh, I am sure you do. Yet I know not how
+it happened that he left out of his system of agency some of the most
+valuable rights and privileges of the landlord. These I will mention to
+you when I see you, and when I have more time. I consequently must
+say, that in attempting to revive these rights, even while I was
+deputy-agent, the unjust odium that is falling upon me already, even
+while I had scarce time to move in them, ought rather to be--that is
+morally speaking--visited upon him who allowed them to lapse. Now that
+the fine old leases of the M'Loughlins and the Harmans, and others, have
+dropped, what can I do but study Lord Cumber's interest, in the first
+instance? Not but I would serve them if I could, and will if I can. I
+bear them no ill-feeling; and if they have joined in the calumnies and
+threats that are so unjustly uttered against me, what can I do, and
+what ought I do, but return good for evil? You, as a truly religious and
+pious man, will feel delighted to support me in this principle, and also
+to aid me in bearing it practically out. Any services of a similar kind
+that I can honestly and conscientiously render you--and none other would
+you accept--I shall be on my part delighted to offer. In the meantime,
+let me have your excellent advice as to the most efficient means of
+stifling the unreasonable murmurs that are rising among the people--and
+as touching M'Loughlin's and Harman's properties, I should be glad to see
+you, in order to consult upon what may or can be done for them, always
+compatibly with Lord Cumber's interests.
+
+"The pair of turkies which I send you are the result of my reviving one
+of his lordship's rights. They are _duty-turkies_, and I do not think
+they will eat the worse for the blessings which Darby O'Drive tells me
+accompanied them; at least I don't find they do.
+
+"All that I have yet written, however, is only preliminary; but now to
+business. I have received the letter which Lord Cumber transmitted to
+me, under your frank, in which I am appointed his head agent. He also is
+willing to accept the two thousand pounds on my own terms--that is, of
+course, as a loan, at the usual rate of interest. But don't you think,
+my dear M'Slime, that with respect to this large sum, an understanding
+might be entered into--or rather an arrangement made, in a quiet way,
+that would, I flatter myself, turn out of great ultimate advantage to
+his lordship. The truth is, that Lord Cumber, like most generous men, is
+very negligent of his own interests--at least much more so than he ought
+to be; and it would be most beneficial to him, in every sense, to have
+a person managing his estates, in the best possible condition to serve
+him. His property, in fact, is not represented in the grand jury panel
+of the county. This is a great loss to him--a serious loss. In the first
+place, it is wretchedly, shamefully deficient in roads--both public and
+private. In the next place, there are many rents left unpaid, through
+the inability of the people, which we could get paid by the making of
+these roads, and other county arrangements, which the ill-thinking call
+jobs. In the third and last place, he has on his property no magistrate
+friendly to his aforesaid interests, and who would devote himself
+to them with suitable energy and zeal. Indeed, with regard to the
+murmurings and heart-burnings alluded to, I fear that such a magistrate
+will soon become a matter of necessity. There is a bad spirit rising and
+getting abroad, wherever it came from--and you know, my dear M'Slime,
+that it could not proceed from either you or me. You know that--you
+feel it. Now, what I would propose is this--Lord Cumber has
+sufficient interest with the government, to have me--all-unworthy as
+I am--appointed a magistrate. Let the government but hint to the
+chancellor, and the thing is done. In that event, instead of giving him
+this large sum of money as a loan, let it go as a _per contra_ to my
+appointment to the bench. And there is another consideration by no means
+to be overlooked, which is, that by this arrangement the government
+would be certain to have in the commission a man who would prove himself
+one of the precise class which they stand in need of--that is, a useful
+man, devoted to their wishes.
+
+"Now, my dear M'Slime, I mention this to you with all the confidence
+of unshaken friendship. From you these representations will go to his
+lordship with a much better grace than they would from me. Tell him
+in your own peculiar way, that he shall have the two thousand for the
+magistracy. That is my first object as his friend--this once obtained,
+I have no doubt of seeing myself, ere long, a member of the grand panel,
+and capable of serving him still more extensively.
+
+"Believe me to be,
+"My dear M'Slime, &c,
+"Valentine M'Clutchy.
+
+"P.S.--I heard you once express a wish about a certain farm--but mum's
+the word--only this, I have something in my eye for you."
+
+
+Solomon M'Slime to the Right Hon. Lord Cumber:--
+
+"My Gracious Lord:
+
+"I, of course, cannot look upon the condition you annex to the
+appointment of the agent as unreasonable, although my friend M'Clutchy
+insists, he says, for the honor of the aristocracy, that it was a
+mistake on your lordship's part, and that a loan only was meant. Be this
+as it may, I humbly hope a thought has been vouchsafed to me, by which
+the matter may, under Providence, assume a more agreeable character for
+all parties. Last night, my Lord, immediately after family worship, I
+found myself much refreshed in mind, but rather jaded in my poor sinful
+body, after the fatigues of the day--for, indeed, I had ridden a good
+deal since morning. However, I desired Susanna--a pious young person,
+who acts as children's maid, and understands my habits--to procure me
+a little hot water and sugar, into which, out of a necessary regard for
+health, which is imposed as a duty on us all, I poured a little brandy,
+partly for sustainment and partly to qualify the water. Having swallowed
+a little of this I found the two principles combine together, almost
+like kindred spirits, and consequently experienced both nourishment and
+edification from the draught. It was then, my Lord, that it was given me
+to turn my mind upon the transaction alluded to, I mean the condition of
+paying two thousand pounds for the privilege of managing your property.
+Indeed the thing was vouchsafed to me in this light;--your property,
+my Lord, is not represented in the grand panel of the county, which is
+certainly a serious loss to you, as there is no one here to advocate
+your interests, especially since poor Mr. Deaker's infirmities (would
+that they were all only of the body!) have caused him to attend the
+grand jury less frequently. Many arrangements might be advantageously
+made, by which your lordship would indirectly benefit;--that is, the
+money, so to speak, might be made to go into one pocket, in order that
+it should be transferred to yours. Then you have not; a magistrate in
+your estates devoted to your special interests, as you ought to have;
+this is a very necessary thing, my Lord, and to which I humbly endeavor
+to direct your attention. Again, my Lord, you have no magistrate of
+true Protestant and Ascendancy principles, who from time to time, might
+manifest to the government that you did not forget their interests
+no more than your own. Now, my Lord, what man can be, or is better
+qualified to serve your Lordship in all these capacities than that
+staunch and unflinching Protestant, Mr. Val M'Clutchy? In what
+individual could the commission of the peace more appropriately or
+worthily rest than in your own agent? I therefore beg your lordship to
+turn this in your mind, and if advised by one so humble, I would suggest
+the trial of a short prayer previous to entering on it. Should you exert
+your influence for that purpose with the government, the gracious, I
+trust I may call it so--appointment--would be immediately made, and I
+think I know the grateful disposition of Mr. M'Clutchy sufficiently well
+to assure your lordship, that from a thorough Christian sense of your
+kindness, the two thousand pounds will be, on that condition, placed in
+your lordship's hands.
+
+"I have the honor to be, my Lord,
+"Solomon M'Slime.
+
+"P.S. Mr. M'Clutchy is ignorant that a suggestion so well calculated
+to advance the best interests of general religion, has been graciously
+intimated to one so unworthy as I am."
+
+
+Lord Cumber to Solomon M'Slime, Esq:--
+
+"It is done--a bargain--I have arranged the business here with the
+secretary, and am obliged to you, my sleek little saint, for suggesting
+it; I wonder M'Clutchy himself did not think of it. I feel glad the old
+leases have dropped, for I am sure, that between you and him, you will
+take out of these farms all that can be taken. Of course M'Clutchy and
+you are at liberty to revive anything you like, provided it be done
+properly. What is it to me, who never go there? I do believe Hickman
+was not merely an easy fellow, but a fool; as to _glove-money--
+Healing-money--duty-fowls--and duty-work_--I tell you again, provided
+you increase my remittances, and work the cash out of these fellows, you
+may insist upon as many of them as you can get.
+
+"Yours,
+
+"CUMBER.
+
+"P.S.--What, my little saint, did you mean by that charitable blunder,
+concerning the widow, in your last letter? I never knew before that
+a woman was a widow merely because her husband was transported, as he
+ought to be, for sheep stealing, or because he happened to live, by
+compulsion, in another country. However, no matter; give her, for me,
+whatever you think proper, and add it to your bill of costs, as you will
+do.
+
+"Cumber."
+
+
+Solomon M'Slime, Esq., to Lord Cumber:--
+
+"My Gracious Lord:
+
+"As I have never intentionally varied from truth, I could not bear
+even for a moment to seem to fall into the opposite principle. I was
+certainly very busy on the day I had the honor and privilege of writing
+to your lordship, and much distressed both in mind and heart, by the
+woeful backsliding of a member of our congregation. On looking over the
+copy of the letter, however, I perceive one thing that is gratifying
+to me. My Lord, I made no mistake. It is not, perhaps, known to your
+Lordship that there are two descriptions of widows--the real and
+the vegetable; that is, the widow by death, and the widow by local
+separation from her husband. Indeed the latter is a class that requires
+as much sustainment and comfort as the other--being as they are, more
+numerous, and suffering all the privations of widowhood, poor things,
+except its reality. The expression, my Lord, is figurative, and taken
+from the agricultural occupation of ploughing; for whenever one animal
+is unyoked for any other purpose, such as travelling a journey or the
+like, the other is forthwith turned into some park or grassy paddock,
+and indeed generally enjoys more comfortable times than if still with
+the yoke-fellow; for which reason the return of the latter is seldom
+very earnestly desired by the other. I am happy to tell you, my Lord,
+that some very refreshing revivals in the religious world have recently
+occurred here, such as I trust will cause true religion to spread and be
+honored in the land; but on the other hand, I fear that Satan is at work
+among many evil designing persons on your Lordship's inheritance in this
+our neighborhood. Of this, however, that good and conscientious man
+Mr. M'Clutchy, will, I doubt not, give you all proper information and
+advice.
+
+"I have the honor to be, my Lord with profound humility,
+"Your Lordship's unworthy servant,
+"Solomon M'Slime."
+
+
+Valentine M'Clutchy, Esq., J. P., to Lord Cumber:--
+
+"My Lord:
+
+"In point of fact, nothing could be more beneficial to your property,
+than my very seasonable appointment to the commission of the peace. It
+has extended my powers of working for your advantage, and armed me with
+authority that will be found very necessary in repressing outrages and
+disturbances when they occur; and I regret to say, that they are likely
+to occur much too frequently. I should be sorry to doubt Mr. Hickman's
+candor, but in spite of all my charity, I can scarcely avoid thinking
+that he did not treat your Lordship with that openness of purpose and
+confidence to which every landlord is entitled. Of course, I say this
+with great pain, and rather between ourselves, as it were; for heaven
+forbid, that a single syllable should escape either my tongue or pen,
+that might injure that gentleman's character. The path of duty, however,
+is often a stern one, as I find it to be on the present occasion. The
+truth, then, is, that I fear Mr. Hickman must have kept the disturbed
+state of your tenantry from your Lordship's knowledge, owing probably to
+a reluctance in exposing his own laxity of management. Indeed, I wish I
+could with a conscientious sense of my duty to your Lordship end here,
+so far as he is concerned. But under every circumstance, truth, and
+honesty, and candor, will in the long run tell for themselves. It is an
+unquestionable fact, then, that from whatever cause it may proceed, your
+tenantry and he, ever since my appointment, have had much intercourse
+of--not exactly a public---nor can I decidedly term it--a private
+nature; and it is equally true, that in proportion as this intercourse
+became extended and enlarged, so did the dissatisfaction of the people
+increase, until they are now almost ripe for outrage. I have observed,
+I think, that poor Hickman never was remarkable for strength of mind,
+though not destitute of a certain kind of sagacity; and whether his
+tampering--if it be tampering--with these people,--be the result of
+a foolish principle of envy, or whether on the other hand, there is
+anything political in it, I really cannot say. All I can do is to
+state the facts, and leave the inference to your lordship's superior
+penetration.
+
+"If, however, it be the fact, that Hickman could stop to foment this
+unhappy feeling on your property, still, my Lord, he is not alone in
+it. Indeed it is possible that the intercourse between him and them may
+after all be innocent, however suspicions it looks, I trust and hope it
+is so--for there are two other families in the neighborhood, who, to
+my certain knowledge, have, by diffusing wicked and disloyal principles
+among the tenantry, done incalculable injury. I had indeed some notion
+of communicating with government on the subject, but I have not as yet
+been able to get any information sufficiently tangible to work on. In
+the meantime, I think the wisest and most prudent steps I could take for
+your Lordship's advantage, would be to get them as quietly as possible
+off the estate. I think, from a twofold sense of duty, I shall be forced
+to do so. Their leases very fortunately have dropped in the first place,
+and it will not be your interest to renew them on political grounds;
+for they have lately expressed a determination to vote against your
+brother--and in the next, we can get much larger fines from other
+sources. Besides his large farm, one of these men, M'Loughlin, holds
+a smaller one of eighteen acres, of which there are fifteen years yet
+unexpired, yet on consulting with Mr. M'Slime, and examining the lease,
+he is of opinion that it contains a flaw, and can be broken. I am sure,
+my lord, for your sake I shall be glad of it.
+
+"I cannot conclude without feeling grateful to Heaven for having given
+me such a son as I am blessed with. He is, indeed, quite invaluable to
+me in managing these refractory people, and were it not for his aid
+and vigor, I could not have been able to send your lordship the last
+remittance. He is truly zealous in your cause, but I regret to say, that
+I am not likely to be able to avail myself long of his services. He is
+about taking a large farm in a different part of the country with a view
+to marriage, a circumstance which just now occasions me much anxiety of
+mind, as he will be a serious loss to both your lordship and me. I
+am also looking out for an under agent, but cannot find one to my
+satisfaction. Will your lordship be kind enough to acknowledge the
+remittance of last week?
+
+"I have the honor to be, my lord,
+"Val M'C."
+
+
+Lord Cumber to Val M'C, Esq.:--
+
+"Dear Sir:
+
+"The check came safely to hand, and seasonably, and the oftener I
+receive such communications the better. The best part of it, however, is
+gone to the devil already, for I lost six hundred on Alley Croker at the
+last Ascot meeting; I write in a hurry, but have time to desire you to
+keep your son, if possible, on the property. By the way, as the under
+agency is vacant, I request you will let him have it--and, if he wants a
+farm to marry on, try and find him one somewhere on the estate: who
+has a better right? and, I dare say, he will make as good a tenant as
+another. As to Hickman, I think you are quite mistaken, the truth being
+that he resigned, but was not dismissed the agency, and if he has not
+a wish to get himself replaced--which I do not think--I don't know what
+the deuce he should begin to plot about. I rather think the cause of
+complaint amongst the people is, that they find some difference between
+his laxity and your rigor; if so, you must only let them growl away, and
+when, ever they resort to violence, of course punish them.
+
+"Very truly yours,
+"Cumber."
+
+"P.S.--By all means get those mischievous fellows--I forget their
+names--off the property, as I shall have no tenant under me who will
+create disturbance or sow dissension among the people. I thank you
+for the fine hamper of fowl, and have only to say, as above, that the
+oftener, &c, &c.
+
+"Cumber."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VII.--Reflections on Absenteeism
+
+--Virtues of a Loyal Magistrate--A Small Dose of Flattery--A Brace of
+Blessings--Darby has Notions of becoming a Convert--Hints to a Trusty
+Bailiff, with a Bit of Mystery--Drum Dhu, and the Comforts of Christmas
+Eve--An Extermination.
+
+One of the greatest curses attending absenteeism is the facility
+with which a dishonest and oppressive agent can maintain a system of
+misrepresentation and falsehood, either to screen his own delinquency or
+to destroy the reputation of those whom he hates or fears. An absentee
+landlord has no guarantee beyond the honor and integrity of the man to
+whom he entrusts the management of his property, and consequently he
+ought to know that his very residence abroad presents strong temptations
+to persons, who, in too many instances, are not possessed of any
+principle strong enough to compete with their rapacity or cruelty.
+Valentine M'Clutchy was one of those fellows in whom the heart was
+naturally so hard and selfish that he loved both wealth and the
+infliction of oppression, simply on account of the pleasure which they
+afforded him. To such a man, and they formed too numerous a class, the
+estate of an absentee landlord presented an appropriate, and generally
+a safe field for action. The great principle of his life was, in every
+transaction that occurred, to make the interest of the landlord on one
+hand, and of the tenant on the other, subservient to his own. This was
+their rule, and the cunning and adroitness necessary to carry it into
+practical effect, were sometimes scarcely deemed worth concealment, so
+strong was their sense of impunity, and their disregard of what seldom
+took place--retribution. Indeed, the absence of the landlord gave
+them necessarily, as matters were managed, an unlimited power over the
+people, and gratified that malignant vigilance which ever attends upon
+suspicion and conscious guilt. Many of the tenants, for instance,
+when driven to the uttermost depths of distress and misery, have been
+desperate enough to appeal to the head landlords, and almost in every
+case the agent himself was enabled to show them their own letters, which
+the absentee had in the meantime transmitted to the identical party
+whose tyranny had occasioned them.
+
+The appointment of Phil to the under agency was felt even more strongly
+than the removal of Mr. Hickman or Val's succession to that gentleman;
+for there was about honest Val something which the people could not
+absolutely despise. His talents for business, however, prostituted as
+they were to such infamous purposes, only rendered him a greater
+scourge to the unhappy tenantry over whom he was placed. As for Phil, he
+experienced at their hands that combined feeling of hatred and contempt
+with which we look upon a man who has every disposition to villany but
+not the ability to accomplish its purposes in a masterly manner.
+
+Val's promotion to the Bench did not occasion so much surprise as might
+be supposed. It is well known, that every such scoundrel, however he may
+disregard the opinions of the people whom he despises, leaves nothing
+undone that either meanness or ingenuity can accomplish to sustain a
+plausible character with the gentry of the neighborhood. In the times of
+which we write, the great passport to popularity among one party was the
+expression of strong political opinions. For this reason, Val, who was
+too cunning to neglect any subordinate aid to his success in life, had
+created for himself a certain description of character, which in a great
+degree occasioned much of his dishonesty and oppression to be overlooked
+or forgiven. Like his father, old Deaker, he was a furious Orangeman,
+of the true, loyal, and Ascendancy class--drank the glorious, pious,
+and immortal memory every day after dinner--was, in fact, master of an
+Orange Lodge, and altogether a man of that thorough, staunch, Protestant
+principle, which was then, as it has been since, prostituted to the
+worst purposes. For this reason, he was looked upon, by those of his own
+class not so much as a heartless and unscrupulous knave, as a good sound
+Protestant, whose religion and loyalty were of the right kidney. In
+accordance with these principles, he lost no time in assuming the
+character of an active useful man, who considered it the most important
+part of his duty to extend his political opinions by every means in his
+power, and to discountenance, in all shapes and under all circumstances,
+such as were opposed to them. For this purpose, there was only one
+object left untried and unaccomplished; but time and his undoubted
+loyalty soon enabled him to achieve it. Not long after his appointment
+to the agency, he began to experience some of these uneasy sensations
+which a consciousness of not having deserved well at the hands of the
+people will occasion. The man, as we have said, was a coward at heart;
+but like many others of the same class, he contrived on most occasions
+to conceal it. He now considered that it would, at all events, be a safe
+and prudent act on his part to raise a corps of yeomanry, securing
+a commission in it for himself and Phil. In this case he deemed it
+necessary to be able to lay, before government such satisfactory proofs
+as would ensure the accomplishment of his object, and at the same time
+establish his own loyalty and devotion to the higher powers. No man
+possessed the art of combining several motives, under the simple guise
+of one act, with greater skill than M'Clutchy. For instance, he had an
+opportunity of removing from the estate as many as possible of those
+whom he could not reckon on for political support. Thus would he, in the
+least suspicious manner, and in the very act of loyalty, occasion
+that quantity of disturbance just necessary to corroborate his
+representations to government--free property from disaffected persons,
+whose consciences were proof against both his threats and promises--and
+prove to the world that Valentine M'Clutchy was the man to suppress
+disturbance, punish offenders, maintain peace, and, in short, exhibit
+precisely that loyal and truly Protestant spirit which the times
+required, and which, in the end, generally contrived to bring its own
+reward along with it.
+
+One evening, about this period, our worthy agent was sitting in his back
+parlor, enjoying with Phil the comforts of a warm tumbler of punch, when
+the old knock already described was heard at the hall door.
+
+"How the devil does that rascal contrive to give such a knock?" said
+Phil--"upon my honor and reputation, father, I could know it out of a
+thousand."
+
+"It's very difficult to say," replied the other; "but I agree with you
+in its character--and yet, I am convinced that Master Darby by no means
+entertains the terror of me which he affects. However, be this as it
+may, he is invaluable for his attachment to our interests, and the trust
+which we can repose in him. I intend to make him a sergeant in our new
+corps--and talking of that, Phil, you are not aware that I received this
+morning a letter from Lord Cumber, in which he thanks me for the hint,
+and says he will do everything in his power to forward the business. I
+have proposed that he shall be colonel, and that the corps be named the
+Castle Cumber Yeomanry. I shall myself be captain and paymaster, and you
+shall have a slice of something off it, Phil, my boy."
+
+"I have no objection in life," replied Phil, "and let the slice be a
+good one; only I am rather quakerly as to actual fighting, which may God
+of his infinite mercy prevent!"
+
+"There will be no fighting, my hero," replied the father, laughing;
+"if there were, Phil, I would myself rise above all claims for military
+glory; but here there will be nothing but a healthy chase across the
+country after an occasional rebel or whiteboy, or perhaps the seizing of
+a still, and the capture of many a keg of neat poteen, Phil--eh? What do
+you say to that my boy?"
+
+"I have no objection to that," said Phil, "provided everything is done
+in an open, manly manner--in broad day-light. These scoundrel whiteboys
+have such devilish good practice at hedge-firing, that I have already
+made up my mind to decline all warfare that won't be sanctioned by the
+sun. I believe in my soul they see better without light than with it, so
+that the darkness which would be a protection to them, could be none to
+me."
+
+At this moment, a tap--such as a thief would give when ascertaining
+if the master of the house were asleep, in order that he might rob
+him--came to the door, and upon being desired to "come in and be d----d"
+
+Darby entered.
+
+"You're an hour late, you scoundrel," said Val; "what have you to say
+for yourself?"
+
+"Yes," added Phil, who was a perfect Achilles to every bailiff and
+driver on the estate--"what have you to say for yourself? If I served
+you right, upon my honor and reputation, I would kick you out. I would,
+you scoundrel, and I ought."
+
+"I know you ought, squire, for I desarve it; but, any how, sure it was
+the floods that sent me round. The stick was covered above three feet,
+and I had to go round by the bridge. Throth his honor there ought to
+make the Grand Jury put a bridge acrass it, and I wish to goodness,
+Square Phil, you would spake to him to get them to do it next summer."
+
+When Solomon said, that all was vanity and vexation of spirit, we hope
+he did not mean that the two terms were at all synonymous; because, if
+he did, we unquestionably stand prepared to contest his knowledge of
+human nature, despite both his wisdom and experience. Darby's reply was
+not a long one, but its effect was powerful. The very notion that Val
+M'Clutchy could, should, might, or ought to have such influence over the
+Grand Jury of the county was irresistible with the father; and that he
+should live to be actually called squire, nay to hear the word with his
+own ears, was equally so with the son.
+
+Vanity! What sensation can the hearts of thousands--millions feel, that
+ought for a moment be compared, in an ecstatic sense of enjoyment, with
+those which arise from gratified vanity?
+
+"Come, you sneaking scoundrel, take a glass of spirits--the night's
+severe," said Val.
+
+"Yes, you sneaking scoundrel, take a glass of spirits, and we'll see
+what can be done about the bridge before next winter," added Phil.
+
+"All I can say is, gintlemen," said Darby, "that if you both take it
+up, it will be done. In the mane time, here's both your healths,
+your honors; an' may you both be spared on the property, as a pair of
+blessins to the estate!" Then, running over to Phil, he whispered in
+a playhouse voice--"Square Phil, I daren't let his honor hear me now,
+but--here's black confusion to Hickman, the desaver!"
+
+"What is he saying, Phil? What is the cursed sneaking scoundrel saying?"
+
+"Why your honor," interposed Darby, "I was axin' permission jist to add
+a thrifle to what I'm goin' to drink."
+
+"What do you mean?" said Val.
+
+"Just, your honor, to drink the glorious, pious, and immoral mimory!
+hip, hip, hurra!"
+
+"And how can you drink it, you rascal, and you a papist?" asked Phil,
+still highly delighted with Darby's loyalty. "What would your priest say
+if he knew it?"
+
+"Why," said Darby, quite unconscious of the testimony he was bearing to
+his own duplicity, "sure they can forgive me that, along with my other
+sins. But, any how, I have a great notion to leave them and their
+ralligion altogether."
+
+"How is that, you scoundrel?" asked Val.
+
+"Yes, you scoundrel; how is that?" added Phil.
+
+"Why, troth," replied Darby, "I can't well account for it myself,
+barrin' it comes from an enlightened conscience. Mr. M'Slime gave me a
+tract, some time ago, called Spiritual Food for Babes of Grace, and I
+thought in my own conscience, afther readin' it carefully over, that it
+applied very much to my condition."
+
+"Ah!" said Phil, "what a babe you are! but no matter; I'm glad you
+have notions of becoming a good sound Protestant; take my word there's
+nothing like it. A man that's a good sound Protestant is always a loyal
+fellow, and when he's drunk, drinks--to hell with the Pope."
+
+"Phil, don't be a fool," said his father, who inherited many, if not
+all of old Deaker's opinions. "If you are about to become a
+Protestant, Darby, that's a very different thing from changing your
+religion--inasmuch as you must have one to change first. However, as you
+say, M'Slime's your man, and be guided by him."
+
+"So I intend, sir; and he has been spakin' to me about comin' forrid
+publicly, in regard of an intention he has of writin' a new tract
+consarning me, to be called the Converted Bailiff, or a Companion to
+the Religious Attorney; and he says, sir, that he'll get us bound up
+together."
+
+"Does he?" said Val, dryly; "strung up, I suppose he means."
+
+"Troth your honor's right," replied Darby; "but my own mimory isn't what
+it used to be--it was strung up he said, sure enough, sir."
+
+"Very well," said Val, "but now to business. Phil, my boy, you move off
+for a little--Darby and I have a small matter to talk over, that nobody
+must hear but ourselves."
+
+"All right," replied Phil; "so take care of yourselves;" and accordingly
+left the room.
+
+Now the truth was, that M'Clutchy, who perfectly understood the
+half-witted character of his son--for be it known that worthy Phil was
+considered by those who had the honor of his acquaintance, as anything
+but an oracle--did not feel himself justified in admitting the said Phil
+to full confidence in all his plans and speculations.
+
+"You see now," said he, addressing Darby sternly--"you see the opinion
+which I entertain of your honesty, when I trust you more than I do my
+son."
+
+"Troth I do your honor--and by the same token did I ever betray you?"
+
+"Betray, you scoundrel! what had you to betray?" said Val indignantly,
+whatever I do is for the benefit of the country in general, and for Lord
+Cumber's property in particular: you know that."
+
+"Know it! doesn't the whole world know it, sir?"
+
+"Well, then"--said Val, softening---"now to business. In the first place
+observe my words--listen."
+
+Darby said nothing, but looked at him in the attitude of deep and
+breathless attention.
+
+"Whenever you happen to execute a warrant of distress--that is, when
+removing furniture or any other property off the premises, keep a sharp
+look out for any papers or parchments that happen to come in your way.
+It would do no harm if you should slip them quietly into your pocket and
+bring them to me. I say quietly, because there is a spirit abroad among
+the people that we must watch; but if they once suspected that we were
+on the look out for it, they might baffle us; these papers, you know can
+be returned."
+
+"I see, your honor," said Darby--"there you are right, as, indeed, you
+always are."
+
+"Very well, then. Is the night dark and stormy?"
+
+"So dark, sir, that a blind man could see it."
+
+Val then approached the bailiff, looked cautiously about the
+room--opened the door, and peeped into the hall; after which he
+returned, and placing about half-a-dozen written papers in his hand,
+whispered something to him with great earnestness and deliberation.
+Darby heard him with profound attention, nodded his head significantly
+as he spoke, and placed the point of his right hand fore-finger on the
+papers, as if he said, "I see--I understand--I am to do so and so with
+these; it's all clear--all right, and it shall be done before I sleep."
+
+The conversation then fell into its original channel, and Phil was
+summoned, in order to receive his instructions touching a ceremony which
+was to take place on the following day but one; which ceremony simply
+consisted in turning out upon the wide world, without house, or home, or
+shelter, about twenty three families, containing among them the young,
+the aged, the sick, and the dying--but this is a scene to which we must
+beg the reader's more particular attention.
+
+There stood, facing the west, about two miles from Constitution Cottage,
+an irregular string of cabins, with here and there something that might
+approach the comfortable air of a middle size house. The soil on which
+they stood was an elevated moor, studded with rocks and small cultivated
+patches, which the hard hand of labor had, with toil and difficulty,
+worn from what might otherwise be called a cold, bleak, desert. The
+rocks in several instances were overgrown with underwood and shrubs
+of different descriptions, which were browsed upon by meagre and
+hungry-looking goats, the only description of cattle that the poverty
+of these poor people allowed them to keep, with the exception of two
+or three families, who were able to indulge in the luxury of a cow. In
+winter it had an air of shivering desolation that was enough to chill
+the very blood, even to think of; but in summer, the greenness of the
+shrubs, some of which were aromatic and fragrant, relieved the dark,
+depressing spirit which seemed to brood upon it. This little colony,
+notwithstanding the wretchedness of its appearance, was not, however,
+shut out from a share of human happiness. The manners of its inhabitants
+were primeval and simple, and if their enjoyments were few and limited,
+so also were their desires. God gave them the summer breeze to purify
+their blood, the sun of heaven to irradiate the bleakness of their
+mountains, the morning and evening dressed in all their beauty, and
+music of their mountain streams, and that of the feathered songsters, to
+enliven their souls with its melody. The voices of spring, of summer, of
+autumn, were cheerful in their ears as the voices of friends, and even
+winter, with all his wildness and desolation, was not without a grim
+complacence which they loved. They were a poor, harmless, little
+community, so very humble and inoffensive, as to be absolutely beneath
+the reach of human resentment or injustice. Alas! they were not so.
+
+The cause of the oppression which was now about to place them in its
+iron grasp, was as simple as it was iniquitous. They refused to vote for
+Lord Cumber's brother, and were independent enough to respect the rights
+of conscience, in defiance of M'Clutchy's denunciations. They had voted
+for the gentleman who gave them employment, and who happened besides, to
+entertain opinions which they approved. M'Clutchy's object was to remove
+them from the property, in order that he might replace them with a more
+obedient and less conscientious class; for this was his principle of
+action under such circumstances.
+
+It so happened that there lived among them a man named O'Regan, who,
+in point of comfort, was at the head of this little community. He was a
+quiet and an affectionate individual, industrious, sober, and every way
+well conducted. This inoffensive and virtuous man, and Iris faithful
+wife, had been for some time before the period we are describing,
+under the shadow of deep affliction. Their second child, and his little
+brother, together with the eldest, who for two or three years before had
+been at service in England, were all that had been spared to them--the
+rest having died young. This second boy was named Torley, and him they
+loved with an excess of tenderness and affection that could scarcely be
+blamed. The boy was handsome and manly, full of feeling, and possessed
+of great resolution and courage; all this, however, was ultimately of
+no avail in adding to the span of the poor youth's life. One day in the
+beginning of autumn, he overloaded himself with a log of fir which
+he had found in the moors; having laid it down to rest, he broke a
+blood-vessel in attempting to raise it to his shoulder the second time:
+he staggered home, related the accident as it had occurred, and laid
+himself down gently upon his bed. Decline then set in, and the
+handsome and high-spirited Torley O'Regan, lay patiently awaiting his
+dissolution, his languid eye dim with the shadow of its approach. From
+the moment it was ascertained that his death, early and unexpectedly,
+was known to be certain, the grief of his parents transcended the bounds
+of ordinary sorrow. It was indeed, a distressing thing to witness their
+sufferings, and to feel, in the inmost chambers of the heart, the awful
+wail of their desolation and despair.
+
+Winter had now arrived in all its severity, and the very day selected
+for the removal of these poor people was that which fills, or was
+designed to fill, every Christian heart with hope, charity, affection
+for our kind, and the innocent enjoyment of that festive spirit which
+gives to the season a charm that throws the memory back upon the
+sweetest recollections of life--I mean Christmas eve. The morning,
+however, was ushered in by storm. There had been above a fortnight's
+snow, accompanied by hard frost, and to this was added now the force
+of a piercing wind, and a tremendous down pouring of hard dry drift,
+against which it is at any time almost impossible even to walk, unless
+when supported by health, youth, and uncommon strength.
+
+In O'Regan's house there was, indeed, the terrible union of a most
+bitter and twofold misery. The boy was literally dying, and to this was
+added the consciousness that M'Clutchy would work his way in spite
+of storm, tempest, and sickness, nay, even death itself. A few of the
+inhabitants of the wild mountain village, which, by the way, was named
+Drum Dhu, from its black and desolate look, had too much the fear of
+M'Clutchy before their eyes, to await his measures, and accordingly
+sought out some other shelter. It was said, however, and generally
+supposed, by several of the neighboring gentry, that even M'Clutchy
+himself would scarcely dare to take such a step, in defiance of common
+humanity, public opinion, and the laws both of God and--we were about
+to add--man, but the word cannot be written. Every step he took was
+strictly and perfectly legal, and the consequence was, that he had that
+strong argument, "I am supporthed by the, laws of the land," to enable
+him to trample upon all the principles of humanity and justice--to
+gratify political rancor, personal hatred, to oppress, persecute, and
+ruin.
+
+Removal, however, in Torley O'Regan's case, would have been instant
+death. Motion or effort of any kind were strictly forbidden, as was
+conversation, except in the calmest and lowest tones, and everything
+at at all approaching to excitement. Still the terror lest this inhuman
+agent might carry his resolution into effect on such a day, and under
+such circumstances, gave to their pitiable sense of his loss a dark and
+deadly hue of misery, at which the heart actually sickens. From the hour
+of nine o'clock on that ominous morning, the inhabitants of Drum Dhu
+were passing, despite the storm, from cabin to cabin, discussing
+the probable events of the day, and asking each other if it could be
+possible that M'Clutchy would turn them out under such a tempest. Nor
+was this all. The scene indeed was one which ought never to be witnessed
+in any country. Misery in all its shapes was there--suffering in its
+severest pangs--sickness--disease--famine--and death--to all which was
+to be added bleak, houseless, homeless, roofless desolation. Had the
+season been summer they might have slept in the fields, made themselves
+temporary sheds, or carried their sick, and aged, and helpless, to
+distant places where humanity might aid and relieve them. But no--here
+were the elements of God, as it were, called in by the malignity and
+wickedness of man to war against old age, infancy, and disease.
+
+For a day or two proceeding this, poor Torley thought he felt a little
+better, that is to say, his usual symptoms of suffering were litigated,
+as is sometimes the case when human weakness literally sinks below the
+reach of pain itself. Ten o'clock had arrived and he had not yet awoke,
+having only fallen asleep a little before daybreak. His father went
+to his bed-side, and looking down saw that he was still asleep, with
+a peaceful smile irradiating his features, as it were with a sense
+of inward happiness and tranquility. He beckoned to his mother who
+approached the bed, and contemplated him with that tearless agony which
+sears the heart and brain, until the feeling would be gladly
+exchanged for madness. The conversation which followed was in Irish, a
+circumstance that accounts for its figurative style and tenderness of
+expression.
+
+"What is that smile," said the father. "It is the peace of God," said
+the mother, "shining from an innocent and happy heart. Oh! Torley, my
+son, my son!"
+
+"Yes," replied the father, "he is going to meet happy hearts, but he
+will leave none in this house behind him--even little Brian that he
+loved so well--but where was there a heart so loving as his?" This we
+need scarcely observe, was all said in whispers.
+
+"Ah!" said the father, "you may well ask--but don't you remember this
+day week, when we were talking of M'Clutchy--'I hope,' says he, 'that
+if he should come, I'll be where no agent can turn me out--that is, in
+heaven--for I wouldn't wish to live to see you both and little Brian
+put from the place that we all loved so well--and then he wiped away the
+tears from his pale cheeks.--Oh! Torley, my son--my son--are you laving
+us! laving us forever?"
+
+The father sat down quietly on a chair, and put his hand upon his
+forehead, as if to keep the upper part of his head from flying off--for
+such, he said, were the sensations he felt. He then wrung his hands
+until the joints cracked, and gave one short convulsive sob, which no
+effort of his could repress. The boy soon afterwards opened his eyes,
+and fixed them with the same peaceful and affectionate smile upon his
+parents.
+
+"Torley," said the mother, kissing him, "how do you feel, our flower?"
+
+"Aisier," said he, "but I think weaker--I had a dream," he continued;
+"I thought I was looking in through a great gate at the most beautiful
+place that ever was--and I said to myself, what country can that be,
+that's so full of light, and music, and green trees, and beautiful
+rivers? 'That is heaven,' said a sweet voice beside me, but I could
+see no one. I looked again, and then I thought I saw my three little
+brothers standin' inside the gate smilin'--and I said, 'ar'n't you my
+brothers that died when you were young?' 'Yes,' said they,'and we are
+come to welcome you here.' I was then goin' to go in, when I thought I
+saw my father and Brian runnun' hand in hand towards the gate, and as' I
+was goin' in I thought they called after me--'wait, Torley, dear, for we
+will follow you soon.'"
+
+"And I hope we all will, our blessed treasure; for when you leave us,
+son of our hearts, what temptation will we have to stay afther you? Your
+voice, achora, will be in our ears, and your sweet looks in our eyes--
+but that is all that will be left of you--and your father and I will
+never have a day's happiness more. Oh, never--never!"
+
+"You both know I wouldn't lave you if I could help it, but it's the will
+of God that I should go; then when I'll be so happy, won't it take the
+edge off your grief. Bring Brian here. He and I were all that was
+left you, since Ned went to England--and now you will have only him. I
+needn't bid you to love him, for I know that you loved both of us, may
+be more than you ought, or more than I desarved; but not surely more
+than Brian does. Brian, my darling, come and kiss your own Torley that
+keept you sleeping every night in his bosom, and never was properly
+happy without you--kiss me when I can feel you, for I know that before
+long, you will kiss me when I can't kiss you--Brian, my darling life,
+how loth I am to lave you, and to lave you all, father--to lave you all,
+mother."
+
+As he spoke, and paused from time to time, the tumult of the storm
+without, and the fury with which it swept against the roof, door,
+and windows of the house, made a terrible diapason to the sweet and
+affecting tone of feeling which pervaded the remarks of the dying
+boy. His father, however, who felt an irrepressible dread of what was
+expected to take place, started at the close of the last words, and
+with a heart divided between the two terrors, stood in that stupefaction
+which is only the resting-place of misery, where it takes breath and
+strengthens itself for its greatest trials. Ho stood with one hand as
+before, pressed upon his forehead, and pointed with the other to the
+door. The wife, too, paused, for she could not doubt for a moment, that
+she heard sounds mingling with those of the storm which belonged not to
+it. It was Christmas eve!
+
+"Stop, Mary," said he, the very current of his heart stilled--its
+beating pulses frozen, as it were, by the terrible apprehension--"stop,
+Mary; you can open the door, but in such a morning as this you couldn't
+shut it, and the wind and drift would come in and fill the house, and
+be the death of our boy. No, I must open the door myself, and it will
+require all my strength to shut it."
+
+"I hear it all, now," said Torley, "the cries and the shouting, the
+screechings and the--well, you need not be afeared; put poor Brian in
+with me, for I know there is no Irishman but will respect a death-bed,
+be it landlord, or agent, ay, or bailey. Oh, no, father, the hand of
+God is upon us, and if they respect nothing else, they will surely respect
+that. They won't move me, mother, when they see me; for that would kill
+me--that would be to murder a dying man."
+
+The father made no reply, but rushed towards the door, which he opened
+and closed after him with more ease than he had expected. The storm, in
+fact, was subsiding; the small hard drift had ceased, and it was evident
+from the appearance of the sky that there was likely to be a change for
+the better.
+
+It would, indeed, appear, as if the Divine Being actually restrained and
+checked the elements, on witnessing the cruel, heartless, and oppressive
+purposes of man. But, what a scene presented itself to O'Regan, on going
+forth to witness the proceedings which were then about to take place on
+this woeful day!
+
+Entering the northern end of this wild collection of sheelings was
+seen a posse of bailiffs, drivers, constables, keepers, and all that
+hard-hearted class of ruffians that constitute the staff of a land agent
+upon occasions similar to this. Immediately behind these followed a body
+of Orange yeomanry, dressed in regimentals, and with fire-arms--each
+man carrying thirty rounds of ball cartridge. We say Orange yeomen
+advisedly, because, at the period we speak of, Roman Catholics were not
+admitted into the yeomanry, unless, perhaps, one in a corps; and even
+out of ten corps, perhaps, you might not find the ten exceptions. When
+we add to this the fact, that every Protestant young man was then
+an Orangeman, and that a strong, relentless feeling of religious and
+political hatred subsisted between them and the Catholic party, we think
+that there are few, even among our strongest Conservatives, if any,
+who would attempt to defend the inhuman policy of allowing one party of
+Irishmen, stimulated by the worst passions, to be let loose thus armed
+upon defenceless men, whom, besides, they looked upon and treated as
+enemies.
+
+The men in question, who were known by the sobriquet of Deaker's
+Dashers, were, in point of fact, the terror of every one in the country
+who was not an Orangeman, no matter what his creed or conduct might
+be. They were to a man guided by the true Tory principle, not only of
+supporting Protestantism, but of putting down Popery; and yet, with
+singular inconsistency, they were seldom or never seen within a church
+door, all their religion consisting in giving violent and offensive
+toasts, and their loyalty in playing party tunes, singing Orange songs,
+meeting in Orange lodges, and executing the will of some such oppressor
+as M'Clutchy, who was by no means an exaggerated specimen of the Orange
+Tory.
+
+Deaker's Dashers were commanded on this occasion by a little squat
+figure, all belly, with a short pair of legs at one end, and a little
+red, fiery face, that looked as if it would explode--at the other.
+The figure was mounted on horseback, and as it and its party gallantly
+entered this city of cabins, it clapped its hands on its side, to
+impress the enemy, no doubt, with a due sense of its military character
+and prowess. Behind the whole procession, at a little distance, rode
+M'Clutchy and M'Slime, graceful Phil having declined the honor of the
+expedition altogether, principally, he said, in consequence of the
+shortness of the days, and the consequent very sudden approach of night.
+We cannot omit to state, that Darby O'Drive was full of consequence and
+importance, and led on his followers, with a roll of paper containing
+the list of fill those who were to be expelled, rolled up in his hand,
+somewhat like a baton of office. Opposed to this display stood a crowd
+of poor shivering wretches, with all the marks of poverty and struggle,
+and, in many cases, of famine and extreme destitution, about them and
+upon them. Women with their half starved children in their arms, many
+of them without shoes or stockings--laboring care-worn men, their heads
+bound up in cotton handkerchiefs, as intimating illness or recovery
+from illness--old men bent over their staves, some with long white hair,
+streaming to the breeze, and all with haggard looks of terror, produced
+by the well known presence among them of Deaker's Dashers.
+
+And this was Christmas eve--a time of joy and festivity!
+
+Other features were also presented, which gave to this miserable scene
+a still more depressing character. The voice of lamentation was loud,
+especially from the females, both young and old--all of whom, with some
+exceptions, were in tears. Many were rending their hair, others clapping
+their hands in distraction--some were kneeling to Heaven to implore
+its protection, and not a few to call down its vengeance upon their
+oppressors. From many of the men, especially the young and healthy,
+came stifled curses, and smothered determinations of deep and fearful
+vengeance. Brows darkened, eyes gleamed, and teeth were ground with a
+spirit that could neither be mistaken or scarcely condemned. M'Clutchy
+was then sowing the wind; but whether at a future day to reap the
+whirlwind, we are not now prepared to state.
+
+At length it was deemed time that the ceremony should commence; and
+M'Clutchy, armed also with a case of pistols, rode up to Darby:--
+
+"O'Drive, you scoundrel," he shouted--for he saw his enemy, and got
+courageous, especially since he had a body of his father's Dashers at
+his back--"O'Drive, you scoundrel, do you mean to keep us here all
+day? Why don't you commence? Whose is the first name on your list?
+The ejectment must proceed," addressing the poor people as much as
+Darby--"it must proceed. Everything we do is by Lord Cumber's orders,
+and strictly according to the law of the land. Every attempt at refusing
+to give up peaceable possession, makes you liable to be punished; and
+punished, by d--n you shall be."
+
+"Do not swear, my dear friend," interposed M'Slime; "swear not at all;
+but let thy yea be yea, and thy nay, nay; for whatsoever is more than
+this cometh of evil. My good friends," he added, addressing himself to
+the people, "I could not feel justified in losing this opportunity to
+throw in a word in season for your sakes. I need scarcely tell you that
+Mr. M'Clutchy, whose character for benevolence and humanity is perfectly
+well known--and I would allude to his strong sense of religion, and its
+practical influence on his conduct, were I not afraid of giving rise
+to a feeling of spiritual pride in the heart of any fellow-creature,
+however humble;--I need not tell you, I say, that he and I are here as
+your true friends. I, a frail and unworthy sinner, avow myself as your
+friend; at least, it is the most anxious and sincere wish of my heart
+to do good to you; for, I trust I can honestly say, that I love my
+Catholic--I mean my Roman Catholic friends, and desire to meet them in
+the bonds of Christ. Yes, we are your friends. You know it is true
+that God loveth whom he chasteneth, and that it is always good to
+pass through the furnace of tribulation. What are we, then, but the
+instruments of his chastisement of you, and of bringing you through that
+furnace for your own good and for His honor! Be truly grateful, then,
+for this instance of His interposition in your favor. It is only a
+blessing in disguise; my friends--strongly disguised, I grant you--but
+still a blessing. And now, my friends, to prove my own sincerity--my
+affection, and, I trust, Christian interest in your welfare, I say unto
+you, that if such among you as lack bread will come to me, when this
+dispensation in your favor is concluded, I shall give them that which
+will truly nourish them."
+
+M'Clutohy could not stand this, but went down to the little squab
+Dasher, who joined him in a loud fit of laughter at M'Slime's little
+word in season; so that the poor dismayed people had the bitter
+reflection to add to their other convictions, that their misery, their
+cares, and their sorrows, were made a mockery of by those who were
+actually inflicting them.
+
+"When Darby, on whose face there was a heartless smirk of satisfaction
+at this opportunity of gratifying M'Clutchy, was about to enter the
+first cabin, there arose from the trembling creatures a loud murmur of
+wild and unregulated lamentation, which actually startled the bailiff's,
+who looked as if they were about to be assaulted. An old man then
+approached M'Clutchy, bent with age and infirmity, and whose white hair
+hung far down, his shoulders--
+
+"Sir," said he, taking off his hat, and standing before him uncovered,
+severe and still bitter as was the day--"I stand here in the name of
+these poor creatures you see about us, to beg you, for the sake of
+God--of Christ who redeemed us--and of the Holy Spirit that gives
+kindness and charity to the heart--not on this blake hill undher sich
+a sky, and on sich a day, to turn us out of the only shelter we have on
+earth! There's people here that will die if they're brought outside
+the door. We did not, at laist the most part of all you see before you,
+think you had any thought of houldin' good your threat in such a time
+of cowld, and storm, and disolation. Look at us, sir, then, have pity
+on us! Make it your own case, if you can, and maybe that will bring our
+destitution nearer you--and besides, sir, there's a great number of us
+thought betther about votin' with you, and surely you won't think of
+puttin' them out."
+
+"It's too late now," said M'Clutchy; "if you had promised me your votes
+in time, it was not my intention to have disturbed you--at present I am
+acting altogether by Lord Cumber's orders, who desires that every one
+refusing to vote for him shall be made an example of, and removed from
+the property--O'Drive, you scoundrel, do your duty."
+
+At this moment there rushed forth from the again agitated crowd an old
+woman, whose grizzled locks had escaped from under her dowd cap, and
+were blown in confusion about her head; she wore a drugget gown that
+had once been yellow, and a deep blue petticoat of the same stuff; a
+circumstance, which, joined to the excitement, gave to her appearance a
+good deal of picturesque effect.
+
+
+"Low born tyrant," she shouted, kneeling rapidly down and holding up her
+clasped hands, but not in supplication--"low born, tyrant," she shouted,
+"stop;--spawn of blasphemin' Deaker, stop--bastard of the notorious Kate
+Clank, hould your hand? You see we know you and yours well. You were a
+bad son to a bad mother, and the curse of God will pursue you and
+yours, for that and your other villanies. Go back and hould your hand, I
+say--and don't dare to bring the vengeance of God upon you, for the plot
+of hell you are about to work out this day. I know that plot. Be warned.
+Look about you here, and think of what you're going to do. Have you
+no feeling for ould and helpless age--for the weakness of women, the
+innocence of children? Are you not afraid on such a day to come near
+the bed of sickness, or the bed of death, with such an intention? Here's
+widows and orphans, the sick and the dyin', ould age half dead, Mid
+infancy half starved; and is it upon these, that you and blasphemin'
+Deaker's bloody Dashers are goin' to work your will? Hould your hand, I
+say, or if you don't, although I needn't curse you myself, for I am
+too wicked for that--yet in the name of all these harmless and helpless
+creatures before you, I call their curses on your head. In the name
+of all the care, and pain, and sorrow, and starvation, and affliction,
+that's now before your eyes, be you cursed in soul and body--in all you
+touch--in all you love--cursed here, and cursed hereafter forever, if
+you proceed in your wicked intentions this woeful day!"
+
+"Who is that mad-woman?" said M'Clutchy. "Let her be removed. All I can
+say is, that she has taken a very unsuccessful method of staying the
+proceedings."
+
+"Who am I?" said she; "I will tell you that. Look at this," she replied,
+exposing her bosom; "these are the breasts that suckled you--between
+them did you lie, you ungrateful viper! Yes, you may stare--it's many a
+long year since the name of Kate Clank reached your ears, and now that
+you have heard it, it is not to bless you. Well, you remember when you
+heard it last--on the day you hunted your dogs at me, and threatened to
+have me horse-whipped--ay, to horse-whip me with your own hands, should
+I ever come near your cursed house. Now, you know who I am, and now I
+have kept my word, which was never to die till I gave you a shamed face.
+Kate Clank, your mother, is before you!"
+
+M'Clutchy took the matter very coolly certainly--laughed at her, and, in
+a voice of thunder, desired the ejectments to proceed.
+
+But how shall we dwell upon this miserable work? The wailings and
+screams, the solicitations for mercy, their prayers, their imprecations
+and promises, were all sternly disregarded; and on went the justice of
+law, accompanied by the tumult of misery. The old were dragged out--the
+bedriden grand-mother had her couch of straw taken from under her. From
+the house of death, the corpse of an aged female was carried out amidst
+the shrieks and imprecations of both men and women! The sick child that
+clung with faintness to the bosom of its distracted mother, was put out
+under the freezing blast of the north; and on, on, onward, from house to
+house, went the steps of law, accompanied still by the increasing tumult
+of misery. This was upon Christmas eve--a day of "joy and festivity!"
+
+At length they reached O'Regan's,and it is not our intention to describe
+the occurrence at any length. It could not be done. O'Regan clasped his
+hands, so did his wife; they knelt--they wept--they supplicated.
+They stated the nature of his malady--decline--from having ruptured a
+blood-vessel. They ran to M'Clutchy, to M'Slime, to the squat figure
+on horseback. They prayed to Darby, and especially entreated a ruffian
+follower who had been remarkable for, and wanton in, his inhumanity, but
+with no effect. Darby shook his head.
+
+"It couldn't be done," said he.
+
+"No," replied the other, whose name was Grimes, "we can't make any
+differ between one and another--so out he goes."
+
+"Father," observed the meek boy, "let them. I will only be the sooner in
+heaven."
+
+He was placed sitting up in bed by the bailiff's, trembling in the cold
+rush of the blast; but the moment the father saw their polluted and
+sacrilegious hands upon him--he rushed forward accompanied by his
+mother.
+
+"Stay," he said, in a loud, hoarse voice, "since you will have him out,
+let our hands, not yours, be upon him."
+
+The ruffian told him they could not stand there all day, and without any
+farther respect for their feelings, they rudely wrapped the bed-clothes
+about him, and, carrying him out, he was placed upon a chair before the
+door. His parents were immediately beside him, and took him now into
+then own care; but it was too late--he smiled as he looked into their
+faces, then looked at his little brother, and giving one long drawn
+sigh, he passed, without pain or suffering, saving a slight shudder,
+into happiness. O'Regan, when he saw that his noble and beloved boy was
+gone, surrendered him into the keeping of his wife and other friends,
+who prevented his body from falling off the chair. He then bent his eye
+sternly upon the group of bailiffs, especially upon the rude ruffian,
+Grimes, whose conduct was so atrocious.
+
+"Now listen," said he, kneeling down beside his dead son--"listen all
+of you that has wrought this murder of my dying boy! He is yet warm,"
+he added, grinding his teeth and looking up to heaven, "and here beside
+him, I pray, that the gates of mercy may be closed upon my soul through
+sill eternity, if I die without vengeance for your death, my son!"
+
+His mother, who was now in a state between stupor and distraction,
+exclaimed--
+
+"To be sure, darling, and I'll assist you, and so will Torley."
+
+The death of this boy, under circumstances of such incredible cruelty,
+occasioned even M'Clutchy to relax something of his original intentions.
+He persisted, however, in accomplishing all the ejectments without
+exception, but when this was over, he allowed them to re-occupy their
+miserable cabins, until the weather should get milder, and until such
+of them as could, might be able to procure some other shelter for
+themselves and families.
+
+When all was over, M'Slime, who had brought with him a sheaf of tracts
+for their spiritual sustenance, saw, from the deeply tragic character
+of the proceedings, that he might spare himself the trouble of such
+Christian sympathy as he wished to manifest for their salvation. He
+and M'Clutchy, to whom, by the way, he presented the truly spiritual
+sustenance of some good brandy out of a flask, with which he balanced
+the tracts in his other pocket, then took their way in the very centre
+of the Dashers, leaving behind them all those sorrows of life, for
+which, however, they might well be glad to exchange their consciences
+and their wealth.
+
+The circumstances which we have just described, were too striking not to
+excite considerable indignation among all reasonable minds at the time.
+An account of that day's proceedings got into the papers, but was so
+promptly and fully contradicted by the united testimony of M'Clutchy and
+M'Slime, that the matter was made to appear very highly complimentary
+to the benevolence and humanity of both. "So far from the proceedings in
+question," the contradiction went on to say, "being marked by the wanton
+cruelty and inhumanity imputed to them, they were, on the contrary, as
+remarkable for the kindness and forbearance evinced by Messrs. M'Clutchy
+and M'Slime. The whole thing was a mere legal form, conducted in a most
+benevolent and Christian spirit. The people were all restored to their
+tenements the moment the business of the day was concluded, and we
+cannot readily forget the admirable advice and exhortation offered to
+them, and so appropriately offered by Solomon M'Slime, Esq., the truly
+Christian and benevolent law agent of the property in question."
+
+By these proceedings, however, M'Clutchy had gained Ms point, which was,
+under the guise of a zealous course of public duty, to create a basis on
+which to ground his private representations of the state of the country
+to government. He accordingly lost no time in communicating on the
+subject with Lord Cumber, who at once supported him in the project of
+raising a body of cavalry for the better security of the public peace;
+as, indeed, it was his interest to do, inasmuch, as it advanced his own
+importance in the eye of government quite as much as it did M'Clutchy's.
+A strong case was therefore made out by this plausible intriguer. In a
+few days after the affair of Drum Dhu, honest Val contrived to receive
+secret information of the existence of certain illegal papers which
+clearly showed that there existed a wide and still spreading conspiracy
+in the country. As yet, he said, he could not ground any proceeding of a
+definite character upon them.
+
+The information, he proceeded to say, when writing to the Castle, which
+came to him anonymously, was to the effect that by secretly searching
+the eaves of certain houses specified in the communication received, he
+would find documents, clearly corroborating the existence and design of
+the conspiracy just alluded to. That he had accordingly done so, and
+to his utter surprise, found that his anonymous informant was right. He
+begged to enclose copies of the papers, together with the names of the
+families residing in the houses where they were found. He did not like,
+indeed, to be called a "Conspiracy hunter," as no man more deprecated
+their existence; but he was so devotedly attached to the interests of
+his revered sovereign, and those of his government, that no matter at
+what risk, either of person or reputation, he would never shrink from
+avowing or manifesting that attachment to them. And he had the honor to
+be, his very obedient servant.
+
+Valentine M'Clutohy, J.P.
+
+P.S.--He begged to enclose for his perusal a letter from his warm
+friend, Lord Cumber, on the necessity, as he properly terms it, of
+getting up a corps of cavalry, which is indeed a second thought, as
+they would be much better adapted, upon long pursuits and under pressing
+circumstances, for scouring the country, which is now so dreadfully
+disturbed. And has once more the honor to be, Val M'C.
+
+
+Representations like these, aided by that most foolish and besotted
+tendency which so many of the ignorant and uneducated peasantry have of
+entering into such associations, did not fail in working out M'Clutchy's
+designs. Most of those in whose houses these papers were placed, fled
+the country, among whom was O'Regan, whose dying son Deaker's Dashers
+treated with such indefensible barbarity; and what made everything
+appear to fall in with his good fortune, it was much about this period
+that Grimes, the unfeeling man whom O'Regan appeared to have in his eye
+when he uttered such an awful vow of vengeance, was found murdered not
+far from his own house, with a slip of paper pinned to his coat, on
+which were written, in a disguised hand the words--"Remember O'Regan's
+son, and let tyrants tremble."
+
+Many strong circumstances appeared to bring this murder home to O'Regan.
+From the day of his son's death until the illegal papers were found in
+the eave of his house, he had never rested one moment. His whole
+soul seemed darkly to brood over that distressing event, and to have
+undergone a change, as it were, from good to evil. His brow lowered,
+his cheek got gaunt and haggard, and his eye hollow and wolfish with
+ferocity. Neither did he make any great secret of his intention to
+execute vengeance on those who hurried his dying child out of life
+whilst in the very throes of dissolution. He was never known, however,
+to name any names, nor to mark out any particular individual for
+revenge. His denunciations were general, but fearful in their import.
+The necessity, too, of deserting his wife and child sealed his ruin,
+which was not hard to do, as the man was at best but poor, or merely
+able, as it is termed, to live from hand to mouth. His flight,
+therefore, and all the circumstances of the case considered, it is
+not strange that he was the object of general suspicion, and that the
+officers of justice were sharply on the lookout for a clue to him.
+
+In this position matters were, when the Castle Cumber corps of cavalry
+made their appearance under all the glitter of new arms, housings and
+uniforms, with Valentine M'Clutchy as their captain and paymaster, and
+graceful Phil as lieutenant. Upon what slight circumstances do great
+events often turn. Because Phil had an ungainly twist in his legs, or
+in other words, because he was knock-kneed, and could not appear to
+advantage as an infantry officer, was the character of the corps changed
+from foot to cavalry, so that Phil and Handsome Harry had an opportunity
+of exhibiting their points together. A year had now elapsed, and the
+same wintry month of December had again returned, and yet no search had
+been successful in finding any trace of O'Regan; but if our readers
+will be so good as to accompany us to another scene, they will have an
+opportunity of learning at least the character which M'Clutchy's new
+corps had won in the country.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII.--Poverty and Sorrow
+
+A Winter Morning--Father Roche--A Mountain Journey--Raymond
+Na-hattha--Cabin on the Moors--M'Clutchy's Bloodhounds--The Conflict--A
+Treble Death.
+
+
+It is the chill and ghastly dawn of a severe winter morning; the gray,
+cheerless opening of day borrows its faint light only for the purpose of
+enabling you to see that the country about you is partially covered with
+snow, and that the angry sky is loaded with storm. The rising sun, like
+some poverty-stricken invalid, driven, as it were, by necessity, to the
+occupation of the day, seems scarcely able to rise, and does so with
+a sickly and reluctant aspect. Abroad, there is no voice of joy or
+kindness--no cheerful murmur with which the heart can sympathize--all
+the warm and exhilarating harmonies that breathe from nature in her
+more genial moods are silent. A black freezing spirit darkens the very
+light of day, and throws its dismal shadow upon everything about us,
+whilst the only sounds that fall upon the ear are the roaring of
+the bitter winds among the naked trees, or the hoarse voice of the
+half-frozen river, rising and falling--now near, and now far away in the
+distance.
+
+On such a morning as this it was, and at such an hour, that a
+pale-faced, thin woman, with all the melancholy evidences of destitution
+and sorrow about her, knocked at the door of her parish priest, the
+Rev. Francis Roche. The very knock she gave had in it a character of
+respectful but eager haste. Her appearance, too, was miserable, and as
+she stood in the cold wintry twilight, it would have satisfied any one
+that deep affliction and wasting poverty were both at her humble heart.
+She had on neither shoe nor stocking, and the consequence was, that the
+sharp and jagged surface of the frozen ground, rendered severer by the
+impatient speed of her journey, had cut her feet in such a manner that
+the blood flowed from them in several places. Cloak or bonnet she had
+none; but instead of the former her humble gown was turned over her
+shoulders, and in place of the latter she wore a thin kerchief, drawn
+round her head, and held under her chin with one hand, as the lower
+classes of Irishwomen do in short and hasty journeys. Her journey,
+however, though hasty in this instance, was by do means short; and it
+was easy to perceive by her distracted manner and stifled sobs, that
+however poorly protected against the bitter elements, she had a grief
+within which rendered her insensible to their severity.
+
+It was also apparent, that, though humble in life, she possessed, like
+thousands of her countrywomen, a mind of sufficient compass and strength
+to comprehend, when adequately moved, the united working of more than
+one principle at the same moment. We have said it was evident that she
+was under the influence of deep sorrow, but this was not all--a second
+glance might disclose the exhibition of a still higher principle. The
+woman was at prayer, and it was easy to perceive by the beads which she
+held in her fervently clasped hands, by the occasional knocking of her
+breast, and the earnest look of supplication to heaven, that her soul
+poured forth its aspirations in the deep-felt and anxious spirit of that
+religion, which affliction is found so often to kindle in the peasant's
+heart. She had only knocked a second time when the door was opened, and
+having folded up her beads, she put them into her bosom, and entering
+the priest's house, immediately found herself in the kitchen. In a
+moment a middle-aged woman, with a rush light in her hand, stirred up
+the greeshough, and raking the live turf out of it, she threw on a dozen
+well-dried peats out of the chimney corner, and soon had a comfortable
+and blazing fire, at which the afflicted creature, having first
+intimated her wish that his reverence should accompany her home, was
+desired to sit until he should be ready to set out.
+
+"Why, then," exclaimed the good-natured woman, "but you had abitther
+thramp of it this cowld and cuttin' mornin'--and a cowld and cuttin'
+mornin' it is--for sure didn't I feel as if the very nose was whipt
+off o' me when I only wint to open the door for you. Sit near the fire,
+achora, and warm yourself--throth myself feels like a sieve, the way
+the cowld's goin' through me;--sit over, achora, sit over, and get some
+heat into you."
+
+"Thank you," said the woman, "but you know it's not a safe thing to go
+near the fire when one is frozen or very cowld--'twould only make me
+worse when I go out again, besides givin' me pain now."
+
+"Och, troth you're right, I forgot that--but you surely didn't come
+far, if one's to judge by your dress; though, God knows, far or near,
+you have the light coverin' an you for such a morning as this is, the
+Lord be praised!"
+
+"I came better than three miles," replied the woman.
+
+"Than what?"
+
+"Than three miles."
+
+"Saver above, is it possible! without cloak or bonnet, shoe or
+stockin'--an' you have your affliction at home, too, poor thing; why the
+Lord look down an you, an' pity you I pray his blessed name this day!
+Stop, I must warm you a drink of brave new milk, and that'll help to
+put the cowld out of your heart--sit round here, from the breath of that
+back door--I'll have it ready for you in a jiffey; throth will I, an'
+you'll see it'll warm you and do you good."
+
+"God help me," exclaimed the woman, "I'll take the drink, bekase I
+wouldn't refuse your kind heart; but it's not meat, nor drink, nor
+cowld, nor storm, that's throublin' me--I could bear all that, and many
+a time did--but then I had _him!_ but now who's to comfort us--who are
+we to look to--who is to be our friend? Oh, in the wide world--but God
+is good!"--said she, checking herself from a pious apprehension that
+she was not sufficiently submissive to his will, "God is good--but still
+it's hard to think of losing him."
+
+"Well, you won't lose him, I hope," said the good creature, stirring
+the new milk with a spoon, and tasting it to ascertain if it was warm
+enough--"Of coorse it's your husband you--whitch! whitch!--the divil be
+off you for a skillet, I've a'most scalded myself wid you--it's so thin
+that it has a thing boilin' before you could say Jack Robinson. Here
+now, achora, try it, an' take care it's not a trifle too hot--it'll
+comfort you, anyhow."
+
+It is in a country like Ireland, where there is so much of that close
+and wasting poverty which constitutes absolute misery, that these
+beautiful gushes of pure and tender humanity are to be found, which
+spring in the obscurity of life out of the natural goodness and
+untutored piety of the Irish heart. It is these virtues, unseen and
+unknown, as they generally are, except by the humble individuals on whom
+they are exerted--that so often light up by their radiance the
+darkness and destitution of the cold and lowly cabin, and that gives an
+unconscious sense of cheerfulness under great privations, which
+those who do not know the people often attribute to other and more
+discreditable causes.
+
+While the poor woman in question was drinking the warm milk--the very
+best restorative by the way which she could get--for poverty is mostly
+forced to find out its own humble comforts--Father Roche entered the
+kitchen, buttoned up and prepared for the journey. On looking at her he
+seemed startled by the scantiness of her dress on such a morning--and
+when she rose up at his entrance and dropped him a curtesy, exclaiming,
+"God save you, Father!"--at the same time swallowing down the remainder
+of the milk that she might not lose a moment; he cast his eye round the
+kitchen to see whether she had actually come in the dress she wore.
+
+"How far have you come this morning, my poor woman?" he inquired.
+
+"From the ride of the Sliebeen More Mountains, plaise your reverence."
+
+"What, in your present dress! without shoe or stocking?"
+
+"True enough, sir; but indeed it was little the cowld, or sleet, or
+frost, troubled me."
+
+"Yes, God help you, I can believe that too--for I understand the cause
+of it too well--but have hope--Katty, what was that you gave her?"
+
+"A mouthful of warm milk, your reverence, to put the cowld out of her
+heart."
+
+"Ah, Katty, I wish we could put sorrow and affliction out of it--but
+you did well and right in the meantime; still you must do better, Katty,
+lend her your cloak--and your shoes and stockings too, poor thing!"
+
+"I'm oblaged to your reverence," she replied, "but indeed I won't
+feel the want of them; as I said, there's only one thought that I am
+suffering about--and that is, for your reverence to see my husband
+before he departs."
+
+"Yes--but the consequences of this cold and bitter journey may fall
+upon you at another time--and before long, too--so be advised by me, and
+don't refuse to take them."
+
+"It's not aisy to do that, sir," she replied with a faint smile, for as
+she spoke, his servant had the cloak already about her shoulders; "it
+appears," she continued, "that this kind woman must have her will and
+way in everything."
+
+"To be sure I will," said Katty, "espishially in everything that's
+right, any how--come here now, and while his reverence is getting his
+staff and mittens in the room above, I'll help you on with the shoes and
+stockings. Now," she added, in one of those touching and irresistible
+whispers that are produced by kindness and not by secrecy, "if anything
+happens--as God forbid there should--but if anything does happen, keep
+these till afther everything is over. Before strangers you know one
+wouldn't like to appear too bare, if they could help it."
+
+The tone in which these words were spoke could not fail in at once
+reaching the poor woman's heart. She wept as much from gratitude as the
+gloomy alternative involved in Katty's benevolent offer.
+
+"God bless you," she exclaimed, "but I trust in the Almighty, there
+may be hope and that they won't be wanted. Still, how can I hope when I
+think of the way he's in? But God is good, blessed be his holy name!"
+
+So saying, the priest came down,and they both set out on their bleak and
+desolate journey.
+
+The natural aspect of the surrounding country was in good keeping with
+the wild and stormy character of the morning. Before them, in the back
+ground, rose a magnificent range of mountains, whose snowy peaks were
+occasionally seen far above the dusky clouds which drifted rapidly
+across their bosoms. The whole landscape, in fact, teemed with a
+spirit of savage grandeur. Many of the glens on each side were deep
+and precipitous, where rock beetled over rock, and ledge projected over
+ledge, in a manner so fearful that the mind of the spectator, excited
+and rapt into terror by the contemplation of them, wondered why they did
+not long ago tumble into the chasm beneath, so slight was their apparent
+support. Even in the mildest, seasons desolation brooded over the lesser
+hills and mountains about them; what then must it not have been at the
+period we are describing? From a hill a little to the right, over which
+they had to pass, a precipitous headland was visible, against which the
+mighty heavings of the ocean could be heard hoarsely thundering at a
+distance, and the giant billows, in periods of storm and tempest, seen
+shivering themselves into white; foam that rose nearly to the summit of
+their immovable barriers.
+
+Such was the toilsome country over which our two travellers had to pass.
+
+It was not without difficulty and fatigue that the priest and his
+companion wended their way towards one of the moors we have, mentioned.
+The snow beat against them with great violence, sometimes rendering
+it almost impossible for them to keep their eyes open or to see
+their proper path across the hills. The woman, however, trod her
+way instinctively, and whilst the, priest aided her by his superior
+strength, she in return guided him by a clearer sagacity. Neither spoke
+much, for in truth each had enough to do in combating with the toil and
+peril of the journey, as well as in thinking of the melancholy scene to
+which they were hastening. Words of consolation and comfort he did
+from time to time utter; but he felt that his situation was one of
+difficulty. To inspire hope where there was probably no hope, might be
+only to deepen her affliction; and, on the other hand, to weigh down a
+heart already heavy laden by unnecessarily adding one gloomy forboding
+to its burthen, was not in his nature. Such comfort as he could give
+without bearing too strongly upon either her hopes or her fears he did
+give; and we do not think that an apostle, had he been in his place,
+could or ought to have done more.
+
+They had now arrived within half a mile of the moor, when they felt
+themselves overtaken by a man whose figure was of a very singular and
+startling description, being apparently as wild and untamed as the
+barren waste on which he made his appearance. He was actually two or
+three inches above the common height, but in addition to this fact, and
+as if not satisfied with it, he wore three hats, one sheathed a little
+into the other, so that they could not readily separate, and the under
+one he kept always fastened to his head, in order to prevent the whole
+pyramid from falling off. His person seemed to gain still greater height
+from the circumstance of his wearing a long surtout that reached to his
+heels, and which he kept constantly buttoned closely about him. His feet
+were cased in a tight pair of leather buskins, for it was one of his
+singularities that he could endure neither boot nor shoe, and he always
+wore a glove of some kind on his left hand, but never any on his right.
+His features might be termed regular, even handsome; and his eyes were
+absolutely brilliant, yet, notwithstanding this, it was impossible to
+look for a moment upon his _tout ensemble_ without perceiving that that
+spirit which stamps the impress of reason and intellect upon the human
+countenance, was not visible in his. Like a new and well-proportioned
+house which had never been occupied, everything seemed externally
+regular and perfect, whilst it was evident by its still and lonely
+character, as contrasted with the busy marks of on-going life in those
+around it, that it was void and without an inhabitant.
+
+Like many others of his unhappy class, Poll Doolin's son,
+"Raymond-na-hattha," for it was he, and so had he been nick-named,
+in consequence of his wearing such a number of hats, had a remarkable
+mixture of humor, simplicity, and cunning. He entertained a great
+penchant, or rather a passion for cock-fighting, and on the present
+occasion carried a game one under his arm. Throughout the country no
+man possessed a bird of that species, with whose pedigree he was not
+thoroughly acquainted; and, truth to tell, he proved himself as great
+a thief as he was a genealogist among them. Many a time the unfortunate
+foxes from some neighboring cover were cursed and banned, when, if
+the truth had been known, the only fox that despoiled the roost was
+Raymond-na-hattha. One thing, however, was certain, that unless the
+cock was thoroughly game he might enjoy his liberty and ease long enough
+without molestation from Raymond. We had well nigh forgotten to say that
+he wore on the right side of his topmost hat a cockade of yellow cloth,
+from which two or three ribbons of a scarlet color fluttered down to his
+shoulder, a bit of vanity which added very much to the fantastic nature
+of his general costume.
+
+"Ha! Raymond, my good boy," said the priest, "how does it happen
+that you are so early up this stormy morning? would you not be more
+comfortable in your bed?"
+
+"Airly up," replied Raymond, "airly up! that's good--to be sure you're a
+priest, but you don't know everything."
+
+"Why, what am I ignorant of now, Raymond?"
+
+"Why, that I didn't go to bed yet--so that it's up late, instead of
+early, I am--d'ye hear? ha, ha, now take that."
+
+"When, where, and how did you spend the night then, Raymond; but you
+seem in a hurry--surely if you trot on at this fate we cannot keep up
+with you." The truth is, Raymond's general rate of travelling was very
+rapid. "Where did you spend the night, Raymond," continued the priest.
+
+"Wid a set o' jolly cocks--ha, ha,--now make money of that, d'ye hear."
+
+"You're a riddle, Raymond; you're a riddle; there's no understanding
+you--where did you get the cock?--but I needn't ask; of course you stole
+him."
+
+"Then why do you ax if you think so?"
+
+"Because you're notorious for stealing cocks--every one knows as much."
+
+"No, never steal 'em,--fond o' me--come wid me themselves. Look." The
+words were scarcely uttered when he tossed the bird up into the air, and
+certainly, after flying about for a few yards, he alit, and tottering
+against the wind towards Raymond, stretched out his neck, as if he
+wished to be again taken up by him.
+
+"I see," said the priest, "but answer me--where did you spend last night
+now?"
+
+"I tould you," said Raymond, "wid de jolly cocks--sure I mostly roost
+it; an' better company too than most people, for they're fond o' me.
+Didn't you see? ha, ha!"
+
+"I believe I understand you now," said Father Roche; "you've slept near
+somebody's hen roost, and have stolen the cock--to whom are you carrying
+it?"
+
+"You won't tell to-morrow; ha, ha, there now, take a rub too--that's
+one."
+
+"Poor creature," said the priest to his companion, "I am told he is
+affectionate, and where he takes a fancy or has received a kindness,
+very grateful."
+
+The parish where the circumstances we are describing occurred, having
+been that in which Raymond was born, of course the poor fool was
+familiar to every one in it, as indeed every one in it, young and old,
+was to him.
+
+During the short dialogue between him and the priest, the female,
+absorbed in her own heavy sorrow, was observed by Raymond occasionally
+to wipe the tears from her eyes; a slight change, a shade of apparent
+compassion came over his countenance, and turning to her, he gently laid
+his hand upon her shoulder, and said, in a voice different from, his
+flighty and abrupt manner--
+
+"Don't cry, Mary, he has company, and good things that were brought to
+him--he has indeed, Mary; so don't be crying now."
+
+"What do you mean, poor boy?" asked the woman; "I don't understand you,
+Raymond."
+
+"It is difficult to do that at all times," said Father Roche, "but
+notwithstanding the wildness of his manner, he is seldom without
+meaning. Raymond will you tell me where you came from now?" he asked.
+
+"From your house," he replied; "I went to fetch you to him; but you were
+both gone, and I overtook you--I could aisy do that--ha ha."
+
+"But what is the company that's with him, Raymond?" asked the female,
+naturally anxious to understand this part of his communication. Raymond,
+however, was now in one of his silent moods, and appeared not to hear
+her; at all events, he did not think it worth his while to give her any
+reply. For a short period he kept murmuring indistinctly to himself, or
+if a word or two became audible, it was clear that his favorite sport of
+cock-fighting had altogether engrossed his attention.
+
+They had now reached a rough, dark knoll of heath, which brought them
+in view of the cabin to which they were going, and also commanded an
+extensive and glorious prospect of the rich and magnificent inland
+country which lay behind them. The priest and his now almost exhausted
+companion, to whom its scenery was familiar, waited not to look back
+upon its beauty or its richness. Not so Raymond, who, from the moment
+they began to ascend the elevation, kept constantly looking back, and
+straining his eyes in one particular direction. At length he started,
+and placing his right hand upon the priest's shoulder, said in a
+suppressed but eager voice--
+
+"Go on--go on--they're coming." Then, turning to the female--"Come,"
+said he; "come, Mary,--I'll help you."
+
+"Who is coming?" she exclaimed, whilst the paleness of death and terror
+settled in her face; "for God's mercy, Raymond, who is coming?"
+
+"I saw them," said he; "I saw them. Come--come fast--I'll help
+you--don't thrimble--don't thrimble."
+
+"Let us be guided by him," said the priest. "Raymond," he added, "we
+cannot go much faster through this marshy heath, but do you aid Mary as
+well as you can; as for me, I will try if it be possible to quicken my
+pace."
+
+He accordingly proceeded in advance of the other two for a little;
+but it was only for a little. The female--who seemed excited by some
+uncommon terror, and the wild, apprehensive manner of her companion,
+into something not unlike the energy of despair--rushed on, as if she
+had been only setting out, or gained supernatural strength. In a few
+minutes she was beside the priest, whom she encouraged, and besought,
+and entreated--ay, and in some moments of more vehement feeling,
+absolutely chided, for not keeping pace with herself. They had now,
+however, came within about a hundred yards of the cabin, which they soon
+reached--the female entering it about a minute or two before the others,
+in order to make those humble arrangements about a sick-bed, which,
+however poverty may be forced to overlook on ordinary occasions, are
+always attended to on the approach of the doctor, or the minister of
+religion. In the instance before us, she had barely time to comfort her
+sick husband, by an assurance that the priest had arrived, after which
+she hastily wiped his lips and kissed them, then settled his head more
+easily; after which she spread out to the best advantage the poor quilt
+which covered him, and tucked it in about his lowly bed, so as to give
+it something of a more tidy appearance.
+
+The interior of the cottage, which the priest and Raymond entered
+together, was, when the bitter and inclement nature of the morning, and
+the state of the miserable inmates is considered, enough to make any
+heart possessing humanity shudder. Two or three stools; a couple of
+pots; a few shelves, supported on pegs driven into the peat wall;
+about a bushel of raw potatoes lying in a corner; a small heap of damp
+turf--for the foregoing summer had been so incessantly wet, that the
+turf, unless when very early cut, could not be saved; a few wooden
+noggins and dishes; together with a bundle of straw, covered up in a
+corner with the sick man's coat, which, when shaken out at night, was
+a bed; and those, with the exception of their own simple domestic truth
+and affection, were their only riches. The floor, too, as is not unusual
+in such mountain cabins, was nothing but the natural peat, and so
+damp and soft was it, that in wet weather the marks of their feet were
+visibly impressed on it at every step. With the exception of liberty to
+go and come, pure air, and the light of the blessed day, they might as
+well have dragged out their existence in a subterraneous keep belonging
+to some tyrannical old baron of the feudal ages.
+
+There was one small apartment in this cabin, but what it contained,
+if it did contain anything, could not readily be seen, for the hole or
+window, which in summer admitted the light, was now filled with rags
+to keep out the cold. From this little room, however, the priest as he
+entered, was surprised to see a young man come forth, apparently much
+moved by some object which he had seen in it.
+
+"Mr. Harman," said the priest, a good deal surprised, "who could have
+expected to find you here?"
+
+They shook hands as he spoke, each casting his eyes upon this woeful
+scene of misery. "God pity them," ejaculated the priest, clasping his
+hands, and looking upwards, "and sustain them!"
+
+"I owe it to poor Raymond, here," replied the other, "and I feel obliged
+to him; but," said he, taking Father Roche over to the door, "here will
+be a double death--father and son."
+
+"Father and son, how is that?--she mentioned nothing of the son."
+
+"It is very possible," said Harman, "that they are not conscious of his
+danger. I fear, however, that the poor boy has not many hours to live."
+
+All that we have just described, occurred in three minutes; but short
+as was the time, the wife's impatience to have the rites of the church
+administered, could scarcely be restrained; nor was poor Raymond's
+anxiety much less.
+
+"They're comin'," said he, "Mr. Harman, they are comin'; hurry, hurry, I
+know what they'll do."
+
+"Who are coming, Raymond?" asked Harman. "Oh!" said the fool,
+"hurry--M'Clutchy's blood-hounds."
+
+The wife clapped her hands, shrieked, and falling on her knees,
+exclaimed in a piercing voice, "merciful God, look down on us! Oh,
+Father Roche, there is not a moment to be lost!"
+
+The priest and Harman again exchanged a melancholy glance;--"you
+must all retire into the little room," said the clergyman, "until I
+administer to him the last rites."
+
+They accordingly withdrew, the woman having first left a lit rush light
+candle at his bed-side, as she knew the ceremony required.
+
+The man's strength was wasting fast, and his voice sinking rapidly,
+but on the other hand he was calm and rational, a circumstance which
+relieved the priest's mind very much. As is usual, having put a stole
+about his neck, he first heard his confession, earnestly exhorted him
+to repentance, and soothed and comforted him with all those promises
+and consolations which are held out to repentant sinners. He then
+administered the Extreme Unction; which being over, the ceremony, and
+a solemn one it must be considered, was concluded. On this occasion,
+however, his death-bed consolations did not end here. There are in the
+Roman Catholic Church prayers for the dying, many of them replete with
+the fervor of Christian faith, and calculated to raise the soul to the
+hopes of immortality. These the priest read in a slow manner, so as that
+the dying man could easily accompany him, which he did with his hands
+clasped, upon his breast, and his eyes closed, unless when he raised
+them occasionally to heaven. He then exhorted him with an anxiety for
+his salvation which transcended all earthly and temporal considerations,
+prayed with him and for him, whilst the tears streamed in torrents down
+his cheeks. Nor was the spirit of his holy mission lost; the penitent
+man's face assumed a placid and serene expression; the light of immortal
+hope beamed upon it; and raising his eyes and his feeble arms to heaven,
+he uttered several ejaculations in a tone of voice too low to be heard.
+At length he exclaimed aloud, "thanks to the Almighty that I did not
+commit this murder as I intended! I found it done to my hand; but
+I don't know who did it, as I am to meet my God!" The words were
+pronounced with difficulty; indeed they were scarcely uttered, when his
+arms fell lifelessly, as it were, by his side--they were again suddenly
+drawn up, however, as if by a convulsive motion, and the priest saw
+that the agonies of death were about to commence; still, it was easy to
+perceive that the man was collected and rational.
+
+It was now, however, that a scene took place, which could not, we
+imagine, be witnessed out of distracted and unhappy Ireland. Raymond,
+who appeared to dread the approach of those whom he termed M'Clutchy's
+blood-hounds, no sooner saw that the religious rites were concluded,
+than he ran out to reconnoitre. In a moment, however, he returned a
+picture of terror, and dragging the woman to the door, pointed to a
+declivity below the house, exclaiming--
+
+[Illustration: PAGE 186-- See, Mary, see--they're gallopin]
+
+"See, Mary, see--they're gallopin'." The dying man seemed conscious of
+what was said, for the groan he gave was wild and startling; his wife
+dropped on her knees at the door, where she could watch her husband and
+those who approached, and clasping her hands, exclaimed, "To your mercy,
+O Lord of heaven, to your mercy take him, before he falls into their
+hands, that will show him none!" She then bestowed upon him a look full
+of an impatient agony, which no language could describe; her eyes had
+already become wild and piercing--her cheek flushed--and her frame
+animated with a spirit that seemed to partake at once of terror, intense
+hatred, and something like frenzy.
+
+"They are gallopin'! they are gallopin'!" she said, "and they will find
+life in him!" She then wrung her hands, but shed not a tear--"speed,
+Hugh," she said, "speed, speed, husband of my heart--the arms of God are
+they not open for you, and why do you stay?" These sentiments, we
+should have informed our readers, were uttered, or rather chaunted in
+a recitative of sorrow, in Irish; Irish being the language in which
+the peasantry who happen to speak both it and English, always express
+themselves when more than usually excited. "The sacred oil of salvation
+is upon you--the sacrament of peace and forgiveness has lightened your
+soul--the breath of mercy is the breath you're breathin'--the hope of
+Jesus is in your heart, and the intercession of his blessed mother, she
+that knew sorrow herself, is before you! Then, light of my heart, the
+arms of God are they not open for you, and why do you stay here?"
+
+"Nearer--nearer," she exclaimed, "they are nearer--whippin' and spurrin'
+their horses! Hugh O'Regan, that was the sun of my life, and of my
+heart, and ever without a cloud, hasten to the God of mercy! Oh, surely,
+you will not blame your own Mary that was your lovin' wife--and the
+treasure of your young and manly heart, for wishin' to see you taken
+from her eyes--and for wishing to see the eyes that,never looked upon
+us all but with love and kindness, closed on us forever. Oh," said she,
+putting her hands to her forehead, "an' is it--is it come to this--that
+I that was dearer to him than his own life a thousand times, should now
+be glad to see him die--be glad to see him die! Oh! they are here,"
+she shrieked, "before the door--you may hear their horses' feet!
+Hugh O'Regan," and her voice became louder and more energetic--"the
+white-skinned--the fair of hair, the strong of hand, and the true of
+heart--as you ever loved me that was once your happy bride--as you ever
+loved the religion of our holy church--as you hope for happiness and
+mercy, hasten from me--from our orphan--from all--oh, hasten to the arms
+of your God!"
+
+During this scene there was a solemn silence in the house, the priest
+and Harman having both been struck mute at the solemnity of the scene.
+
+"They are here--they are here!" she screamed. "Oh, sun of my heart,
+think not now of me, nor of the children of your love, for we will
+follow you in time--but think of the happy country you're going to,--to
+live in the sunshine of heaven, among saints and angels for ever! Oh,
+sun of my heart, think too of what you lave behind you! What is it?
+Oh! what is it to you--but poverty, and misery, and hardship--the cowld
+cabin and the damp bed--the frost of the sky--the frown of power, and
+the scourge of law--all this, oh, right hand of my affection, with the
+hard labor and the scanty food, do you fly from! Sure we had no friend
+in this world to protect or defend us against them that, would trample
+us under their feet! No friend for us because we are poor, and no friend
+for our religion because it is despised. Then hasten, hasten, O light of
+my heart--and take refuge in the mercy of your God!"
+
+"Mary," said the priest, who had his eyes fixed upon the sick man, "Give
+God thanks, he is dead--and beyond the reach of human enmity forever."
+
+She immediately prostrated herself on the floor in token of humility and
+thanksgiving--then raising her eyes to heaven, she said, "may the heart
+of the woeful widow be grateful to the God who has taken him to his
+mercy before they came upon him! But here they are, and now I am not
+afraid of them. They can't insult my blessed husband now, nor murdher
+him, as his father's villains did our dyin' son, on the cowld Esker of
+Drum Dhu; nor disturb him with their barbarous torments on the bed of
+death--and glory be to God for that!"
+
+Many of our readers may be led to imagine that the terrors of Mary
+O'Regan were altogether unproportioned to anything that might be
+apprehended from the approach of the officers of justice, or, at least
+to those who came to execute the law. The state of Irish society at that
+time, however, was very different from what it is now, or has been for
+the last twenty years. At that period one party was in the ascendant and
+the other directly under their feet; the former was in the possession
+of irresponsible power, and the other, in many matters, without any
+tribunal whatsoever to which, they could appeal. The Established Church
+of Ireland was then a sordid corporation, whose wealth was parcelled
+out, not only without principle, but without shame, to the English and
+Irish aristocracy, but principally to the English. Church livings were
+not filled with men remarkable for learning and piety, but awarded to
+political prostitution, and often to young rakes of known and unblushing
+profligacy, connected with families of rank. The consequence was, that
+a gross secular spirit, replete with political hatred and religious
+rancor, was the only principle which existed in the place of true
+religion. That word was then, except in rare cases indeed, a dead
+letter; for such was the state of Protestant society then, and for
+several years afterwards, that it mattered not how much or how little a
+man of that creed knew about the principles of his own church; and as
+it was administered the less he knew of it the better--all that was
+necessary to constitute a good Protestant was "to hate the Pope." In
+truth--for it cannot be concealed, and we write it with deep pain and
+sorrow--the Established Church of Ireland was then, in point of fact,
+little else than a mere political engine held by the English government
+for the purpose of securing the adherence of those who were willing to
+give support to their measures.
+
+In such a state of things, then, it need not be wondered at, that,
+neglected and secularized as it was at the period we write of, it should
+produce a class of men, whose passions in everything connected with
+religion and politics were intolerant and exclusive. Every church, no
+matter what its creed, unfortunately has its elect of such professors.
+Nor were these confined to the lower classes alone--far from it. The
+squire and nobleman were too frequently both alike remarkable for the
+exhibition of such principles. Of this class was our friend M'Clutchy,
+who was now a justice of the peace, a grand juror, and a captain of
+cavalry--his corps having, a little time before, been completed. With
+this posse, as the officers of justice, the pranks he played were
+grievous to think of or to remember. He and they were, in fact, the
+terror of the whole Roman Catholic population; and from the spirit in
+which they executed justice, were seldom called by any other name than
+that of M'Clutchy's Bloodhounds. Upon the present occasion they were
+unaccompanied by M'Clutchy himself--a circumstance which was not to
+be regretted, as there was little to be expected from his presence but
+additional brutality and insult.
+
+On arriving at the door, they hastily dismounted, and rushed into the
+cabin with their usual violence and impetuosity, each being armed with a
+carbine and bayonet.
+
+"Hallo!" said the leader, whose name was Sharpe; "what's here? shamming
+sickness is it?"
+
+"No," said Father Roche; "it is death?"
+
+"Ay! shamming death then. Never mind--we'll soon see that. Come, Steele,
+give him a prod--a gentle one--and I'll engage it'll make him find
+tongue, if anything will."
+
+Steele, to whom this was addressed, drew his bayonet, and commenced
+screwing it on, for the purpose of executing his orders.
+
+"A devilish good trick, too," said he; "and the first of the kind that
+has been practised on us yet--here goes--"
+
+Up until this moment O'Regan's wife sat beside the dead body of
+her husband, without either word or motion. A smile of--it might
+be satisfaction, perhaps even joy, at his release; or it might be
+hatred--was on her face, and in her eye; but when the man pointed his
+bayonet at the corpse of her husband, she started to her knees, and
+opening out her arms, exclaimed--
+
+"Here's my heart--and through that heart your bayonet will go, before it
+touches his body. Oh, if you have hearts in your bodies, you will surely
+spare the dead!"
+
+"Here goes, ma'am," he repeated, "and you had better lave that--we're
+not in the habit of being checked by the like of you, at any rate, or
+any of your creed."
+
+"I am not afeared to profess my creed--nor ashamed of it," she
+exclaimed; and if it went to that, I would die for it--but I tell you,
+that before your bayonet touches the dead body of my husband, it must
+pass through my heart!"
+
+"Don't be alarmed, Mary," said the priest; "they surely cannot be
+serious. It's not possible that any being in the shape of man could be
+guilty of such a sacrilegious outrage upon the dead as they threaten."
+
+"What is it your business?" said the leader; "go and tare off your
+masses, and be hanged; none of your Popish interference here, or it'll
+be worse for you! I say the fellow's not dead--he's only skeining. Come,
+Alick, put the woman aside, and tickle him up."
+
+"Keep aside, I tell you," said Steele, again addressing her--"keep
+aside, my good woman, till I obey my orders--and don't provoke me."
+
+Father Roche was again advancing to remonstrate with him, for the man's
+determination seemed likely to get stronger by opposition--when, just as
+the bayonet which had already passed under the woman's arm, was within a
+few inches of O'Regan's body, he felt himself dragged forcibly back,
+and Raymond-na-hattha stood before him, having seized both carbine and
+bayonet with a strong grip.
+
+"Don't do that," he exclaimed--"don't--you'd hurt him--sure you'd hurt
+poor Hugh!"
+
+The touching simplicity of this language, which, to a heart possessing
+the least tincture of humanity, would have more, force than the
+strongest argument, was thrown away upon him to whom it was directed.
+
+"Fling the blasted idiot off," shouted Sharpe; "don't you see he has let
+the cat out o' the bag--how could the man be hurted if he was dead; I
+knew it was a schame." To throw Raymond off, however, was easier said
+than done, as the fellow found on attempting it. A struggle commenced
+between them, which, though violent, was not of long duration. Raymond's
+eye got turbid, and glared with a fiery light; but otherwise his
+complexion did not change. By a vehement twist, he wrenched the arms
+out of Steele's hands, hurling him from him at the same time, with such
+force, that he fell on the floor with a crash.
+
+"Now," said he, pointing the bayonet to his neck, "would you like
+it?---ha, ha!--think of that."
+
+Four carbines--the whole party consisting of five--were immediately
+levelled at him; and it is not improbable that half a minute more would
+have closed both his existence and his history, had not Father Roche and
+the widow both succeeded, with some difficulty, in drawing him back from
+the prostrate officer of justice. Raymond, after a little time, gave up
+the arms; but his eye still blazed at his opponent, with a glare that
+could not be misunderstood.
+
+Harman, who had hitherto taken no part whatsoever in the altercation,
+now interfered; and with feelings which he found it nearly impossible to
+restrain, pointed out to them the wanton cruelty of such conduct towards
+both the living and the dead. "I am ashamed of you," said he, "as
+countrymen, as Irishmen. Your treatment of this poor heartbroken woman,
+amidst her desolation and sorrow, is a disgrace to the country that
+gave you birth, and to the religion you profess, if, indeed, you profess
+any."
+
+"Come, come, my good fellow," said Sharpe, "what is it you say about my
+religion? I tell you I'll allow no man to spake a syllable against my
+religion; so keep quiet if you're wise, and don't attack that, otherwise
+don't be surprised if I make you dance the devil's hornpipe in half a
+shake, great a hairo as you are."
+
+"And yet you felt no scruple in just now insulting religion, in the
+person of this reverend gentleman who never offended you."
+
+"Him! why what the hell is he but a priest?"
+
+"And the more entitled to your respect on that account--but since you
+are so easily excited in defence of your own creed, why so ready to
+attack in such offensive and insulting language that of another?"
+
+"Come, come, Sharpe," said another of them, "are we to be here all
+day--whatever we're to do let us do it at once; if the fellow's dead,
+why he has had a devilish good escape of it, and if not, let us clap him
+on a horse, that is, provided he's able to travel. I think myself he has
+got the start of us, and that the wind's out of him."
+
+"Take your time," said Steele, who felt anxious to avenge his defeat
+upon some one, "we must know, that before ever we leave the house--and
+by the great Boyne, the first person that goes between me and him will
+get the contents of this," and as he uttered the words he coolly and
+deliberately cocked the gun, and was advancing as before to the dead
+body.
+
+"Holdback," said Harman, in a voice which made the man start, whilst
+with a firm tread and resolute eye, he stood face to face before him;
+"hold back, and dare not violate that sacred and awful privilege, which
+in every country and creed under heaven is sufficient to protect the
+defenceless dead. What can be your object in this? are you men--have
+you the spirit, the courage, of men? If you are human beings, is not
+the sight of that unhappy fellow-creature--I hope he is happy
+now,--stretched out in death before you, sufficient, by the very
+stillness of departed life, to calm the brutal frenzy of your passions!
+Have you common courage? No; I tell you to your teeth that none but
+spiritless caitiffs and cowards would, in the presence of death and
+sorrow--in the miserable cabin of the destitute widow and her orphan
+boy--exhibit the ruffianly outrages of men who are wanton in their
+cruelty, merely because they know there is none to resist them; and I
+may add, because they think that their excesses, however barbarous, will
+be shielded by higher authority. No, I tell you, if there stood man for
+man before you, even without arms in their hands, you would not dare to
+act and swagger as you do, or to play these cruel pranks of oppression
+and tyranny anywhere, much less in the house of death and affliction.
+Fie upon you, you are a disgrace to everything that is human, a reproach
+to every feeling of manhood, and every principle of religion."
+
+Hardened as they were by the habits of their profligate and debasing
+employment, such was the ascendancy of manly truth and and moral feeling
+over them, that for a minute or two they quailed under the indignant
+glance of Harman. Steele drew back his gun, and looked round on his
+companions to ascertain their feeling.
+
+"Gentleman," said Father Roche, anxious to mollify them as much as he
+could--"gentleman, for the sake of that poor heart-broken widowed woman
+and her orphan son--for her and his sake, and if not for theirs then,
+for the sake of God himself, before whose awful judgment-seat we must
+all stand to render an account of our works, I entreat--I implore you to
+withdraw--do, gentlemen, and leave her and her children to their sorrows
+and their misery, for the world has little else for them."
+
+"I'm willing to go," said a fellow, ironically called Handsome Hacket,
+because he was blind of an eye and deeply pock-pitted--"there's no use
+in quarrellin' with a woman certainly--and I don't think there can be
+any doubt about the man's death; devil a bit."
+
+"Well said, Vainus," exclaimed Sharpe, "and it is not ten days since
+we were defrauded of Parra Rackan who escaped from us in Jemmy Reilly's
+coffin--when we thought to nab him in the wakehouse--and when we went
+away didn't they set him at large, and then go back to bury the man that
+was dead. Now, how da you know, Vainus, my purty boy, that this fellow's
+not playin' us a trick o' the same color?"
+
+"Come, come," said another of them who had not yet spoke, "it's aisy
+to know that. Curse me, Steele, if you don't give him a tickle, I
+will--that's all--we're losin' the day and I want my breakfast Living
+or dead, and be hanged to him, I'm starved for want of something to
+eat--and to drink, too--so be quick I tell you."
+
+"Very well, my buck," said Steele--"that's your sort--here goes--"
+
+He once more advanced with a savage determination to effect his
+purpose--when the priest gently and in a mild spirit of remonstrance
+laid his hand upon his shoulder; but he had scarcely done so, when
+one of them seized him by the collar and flung, or rather attempted to
+fling, him back with great violence.
+
+"Go on, Steele," shouted the last speaker, whose name was Harpur--"Go
+on--and be cursed, man, we will support you."
+
+The words, however, were scarcely out of his lips, when Raymond, his eye
+glaring like that of a tiger with the wildness of untamed resentment,
+sprang upon him with a bound, and in a moment they once more grappled
+together. It was, however, only for a moment--for by the heavy blow he
+received from Raymond, the man staggered and fell, but ere he reached
+the ground, the gun, which had been ineffectually aimed at the poor
+fool, went off, and lodged its contents in the heart of the last
+speaker, who staggered, groaned, and fell lifeless where he stood.
+
+For a minute or so, this fatal and unexpected catastrophe stunned them.
+They looked upon each other amazed and apparently stupefied, "What,"
+cried Sharpe, "is Harpur dead?" Two of them then placed their arms
+against the wall in order to ascertain the exact nature of the injury
+inflicted.
+
+At this moment, Sharpe, who saw at once the man was indeed lifeless,
+raised his gun about to take aim at Raymond, when a blow from Harman
+felled him to the earth.
+
+"And here's for your kindness, Mister Harman," shouted Steele; but
+ere the words were uttered, O'Regan's wife threw herself upon him
+so effectually, that he felt it impossible to avail himself of his
+fire-arms.
+
+"Fight now," she shouted in Irish, "it is for your lives--it is for the
+widow--for the orphan--for the bed of death--and the dead that's upon
+it--fight now--for God will be with us! May his strength and power be
+in your arms and your hearts, prays the woeful widow this day!
+Villain--villain," she shouted, "I have you powerless now--but it's the
+strength of God that is in me, and not my own!"
+
+The conflict that ensued now was bitter, savage, deadly. The moment
+Sharpe was knocked down, Raymond flew to their firearms, handed one to
+Harman, and kept the other himself. The men who used them were fierce,
+and powerful, and cruel. In a moment a furious contest took place. The
+four men immediately grappled, each one attempting to wrest the gun
+from his antagonist. Raymond, whose passions were now roused so as to
+resemble the ravenous fury of madness itself, at one time howled like
+a beast of prey, and shouted, and screamed, and laughed with maniac
+wildness that was enough to make almost any heart quail. His eyes
+blazed, his figure dilated, his muscles stood out, his mouth was white
+with froth, and his eyebrows were knit into a deep and deadly scowl.
+Altogether his appearance was frightful and appalling.
+
+Harman was still better matched, and the struggle with his foe was for
+some time doubtful enough, the latter being one of the strongest and
+most resolute men in the whole parish. A powerful tug for the gun now
+took place, each pulling in opposite directions with all his might. At
+length a thought struck Harman, who all at once let the gun go, when
+the other having no longer any resisting power to sustain him, fell back
+upon the floor, and in an instant Harman's knee was on his chest and the
+gun in his possession. The man ground his teeth, and looking up into his
+face with a black scowl of hatred, exclaimed--
+
+"It is your turn now, but I will have mine."
+
+"You have had yours too long, villain," replied the other, "but in
+the mean time I will teach you to respect the bed of death and the
+afflictions of the widow."
+
+Saying which, he vigorously applied the butt of the gun to his ribs,
+until he had rendered him anything but disposed for further conflict.
+
+Both victories were achieved much about the same time; Raymond's
+opponent being far the more severely punished of the two. "What,
+however, was their surprise after each had expelled his man from the
+cabin, to find Steele down, his gun lying on one side. O'Regan's wife
+fastened on his throat, and himself panting and almost black in the
+face!
+
+"Here now," she exclaimed, "the battle of the widow was well fought,
+and God gave us strength. Put this man out with the rest." This was
+accordingly done, but as in the case of his companions, the gun for the
+present was retained.
+
+"See now," she proceeded, still in Irish, "what the hand of a weak
+woman can do, when her heart is strengthened by God, against cruelty and
+oppression. What made that strong man weak in my grasp? Because he knew
+that the weakness of the widow was his shame--the touch of her hand took
+away his strength; and what had he within or about him to depend upon?
+could he look in upon his wicked heart, and be strong? could he look
+upon the darkness of a bad conscience, and be strong? could he look on
+me--upon my dead husband, and his bed of death, and be strong? No--and
+above all, could he look up to the Almighty God in heaven, and be
+strong--no--no--no--but from all these I gained strength--for surely,
+surely, I had it not in myself!"
+
+She uttered these sentiments with wonderful energy, and indeed, from
+the fire in her eye, and the flush of her cheek, it was evident she
+was highly excited. Father Roche, who had been engaged, and indeed, had
+enough to do in keeping the poor child quiet and aloof from the fray,
+especially from his mother--now entreated that she would endeavor to
+compose herself, as she had reason to thank God, he said, that neither
+she herself nor her resolute defenders had sustained any personal
+injury. She did not seem to have heard him--for on looking on the body
+of her husband she almost bounded over to the bed, and kneeling down
+rapturously, and in a spirit of enthusiastic triumph, kissed his lips.
+
+"Now, my husband," said she, "we have fought and gained the victory--no
+insult did you get--no dishonor on your lowly bed where you're sleepin'
+your last sleep. Hugh, do you know, asthore, how the wife of your heart
+fought for you? Your own poor, weak, sorrowful, heart-broken, but loving
+wife, that was as feeble as an infant this mornin'! But who gave her
+the strength to put down a strong and wicked man'? The God--the good
+God--and to him be the glory!--in whose bosom you are now happy. Ay, we
+conquered--ha--ha--ha--we conquered--we conquered--ha--ha--ha!"
+
+The dead body of Harpur in the meantime had been removed by his
+companions, who it was evident felt as much, if not more bitterness at
+their own defeat, than they did by the fatal accident which deprived him
+of life.
+
+Scarcely had the wild triumph of O'Regan's wife time to subside, when
+it soon became evident that the tragical incidents of this bitter and
+melancholy morning were not yet completed.
+
+The child alluded to by Harman in his first brief conversation with
+Father Roche, had been for some time past in a much more dangerous state
+than his parents suspected, or at least than his unhappy mother did,
+whose principal care was engrossed by the situation of her husband.
+The poor boy, at all times affectionate and uncomplaining, felt loth to
+obtrude his little wants and sufferings upon her attention, knowing
+as he did, that, owing to the nursing of his father, she was scarcely
+permitted three hours sleep out of the twenty-four. If he could have
+been afforded even the ordinary comforts of a sick-bed, it is possible
+he might have recovered. The only drink he could call for was "the black
+water," as it is termed by the people, and his only nutrition a dry
+potato, which he could not take; the bed he lay upon was damp straw, yet
+did this patient child never utter a syllable to dishearten his mother,
+or deepen the gloom which hung over the circumstances of the family,
+and his father's heart. When asked how he was, he uniformly replied
+"better," and his large lucid eyes would faintly smile upon his mother,
+as if to give her hope, after which the desolate boy would amuse himself
+by handling the bedclothes as invalids often do, or play with the humid
+straw of his cold and miserable bed, or strive to chat with his mother.
+
+These details are very painful to those whose hearts are so elegantly
+and fashionably tender that they recoil with humane horror from scenes
+of humble wretchedness and destitution. It is good, however, that they
+should be known to exist, for we assure the great and wealthy that
+they actually do exist, and may be found in all their sharpness and
+melancholy truth within the evening shadow which falls from many a proud
+and wealthy dwelling in this our native land.
+
+After all, it is likely, that had not the fearful occurrences of this
+morning taken place, their sweet boy might have been spared to them. The
+shock, however, occasioned by the discharge of the gun, and the noise
+of the conflict, acting upon a frame so feeble were more than he could
+bear. Be this as it may, the constables were not many minutes gone,
+when, to their surprise, he staggered back again out of his little
+room, where Father Roche had placed him, and tottering across the floor,
+slipped in the deceased man's blood, and fell. The mother flew to him,
+but Harman had already raised him up; when on his feet, he looked at
+the blood and shuddered--a still more deadly paleness settled on his
+face--his breath came short, and his lips got dry and parched--he could
+not speak nor stand, had not Harman supported him. He looked again at
+the blood with horror, and then at his mother, whilst he shrank up, as
+it were, into himself, and shivered from head to foot.
+
+"Darling of my heart," she exclaimed, "I understand you. Bryan, our
+treasure, be a man for the sake of your poor heart-broken mother--I
+will, I will, my darling life, I will wipe it off of you, every stain of
+it--why should such blood and my innocent son come together?"
+
+She now got a cloth, and in a few moments left not a trace of it upon
+him. He had not yet spoken, but on finding himself cleansed from it, he
+stretched out his hands, thereby intimating that he wished to go to her.
+
+"Do you not perceive a bottle on the shelf there?" said Harman, "it
+contains wine which I brought for his--," he checked himself;--"Alas!
+my poor boy," he exclaimed involuntarily, "you are doubly dear to
+your-mother now. Mix it with water," he proceeded, "and give him a
+little, it will strengthen and revive him."
+
+"Better," said Father Roche in a low voice, not intended for his, "to
+put him back into his own bed; he is not now in a state to be made
+acquainted with his woeful loss." As he spoke the boy glanced at the
+corpse of his father, and almost at the same moment his mother put wine
+and water to his lips. He was about to taste it, but on looking into
+the little tin porringer that contained it, he put it away from him, and
+shuddered strongly.
+
+"It's mixed with the blood," said he, "and I can't;" and again he put it
+away from him.
+
+"Bryan, asthore," said his mother, "it's not blood; sure it's wine that
+Mr. Harman, the blessin' of God be upon him, brought to you."
+
+He turned away again, however, and would not take it. "Bring me to my
+father," said he, once more stretching out his arms towards his mother,
+"let me stay a while with him."
+
+"But he's asleep, Bryan," said Harman, "and I'm sure you would not wish
+to awaken him."
+
+"I would like to kiss him then," he replied, "and to sleep a while with
+him."
+
+"Och, let him, poor darling," said his mother, as she took him in her
+arms, "it may ease his little heart, and then he'll feel satisfied."
+
+"Well, if you're allowed to go to him won't you lie very quiet, and not
+speak so as to disturb him?" said Harman.
+
+"I'm tired," said the child, "and I'd like to sleep in his bed. I used
+sometimes to do it before, and my father always kept his arms about me."
+
+His mother's features became convulsed, and she looked up in mute
+affliction to heaven; but still, notwithstanding her misery, she was
+unable to shed one tear.
+
+"Pulse of my heart" (cushla machree), she said, kissing him, "you
+must have your innocent and loving wish." She then gently raised the
+bed-clothes and placed him beside his father.
+
+The poor pale boy sat up in the bed for about a minute, during which he
+glanced at the still features of the departed, then at his mother, and
+then at the pool of blood on the floor, and again he shuddered. All at
+once, however, he started and looked about him; but in a manner
+that betokened delight rather than alarm--his eyes brightened--and an
+expression almost of radiance settled upon his face. "Mother," said he,
+"kiss me, and let Mr. Harman kiss me."
+
+They both did so, and his poor mother felt her heart relieved, by the
+happiness depicted on his face. "Glory be to God," she exclaimed, "see
+what a change for the better has come over my blessed child."
+
+Father Roche looked at Harman, and shook his head--"Blessed he will be
+soon," said he, in a low whisper, "the child is dying."
+
+The boy started again, and the former serenity lit up his pale features.
+
+"Bryan, you are better, darling of my life; you look a thousand pounds
+better than you did awhile ago."
+
+The boy looked into her face and smiled.---"I am," said he, "but did you
+not hear it?"
+
+"Hear what, jewel of my heart?"
+
+"There it is again;" said he, looking eagerly and delightfully about
+him, "my father's voice;--that's three times it called, me, but it
+didn't come from the bed, although he's in it. I will kiss him and then
+sleep--but I will miss his arms from about me, I think."
+
+He then fixed himself beside that loving parent, aided by his mother,
+and getting his arm around his pulseless neck, he kissed him, and laying
+down his fair head, he fell asleep in that affecting posture. There was
+a solemn stillness for some minutes, and a strange feeling of fear crept
+over his mother's heart. She looked into the eyes of those who were
+about her, but the looks they returned to her carried, no consolation to
+her spirit.
+
+"My child," she exclaimed--"Oh, my child, what is this? Bryan, my
+life--my light, what ails you?" She stooped, and gently turning him
+about so as to see his face, she looked keenly into it for a few
+moments, and there certainly was the same seraphic expression which so
+lately lit it tip. Still she felt dissatisfied, till putting her ear to
+his mouth and her hand to his heart, the woeful truth became known to
+her. The guiltless spirit of her fair-haired son had followed, that of
+his father.
+
+When the afflicted widow saw the full extent of her loss, she clasped
+her hands together, and rose up with something of a hasty movement. She
+looked about the miserable cabin for a moment, and then peered into
+the face of every one in the room--all of whom, with the exception of
+Raymond, were in tears. She then pressed her temples, as if striving
+to recollect what had happened--sat down again beside her husband and
+child, and to their astonishment began to sing an old and melancholy
+Irish air, in a voice whose wild sweetness was in singular keeping with
+its mournful spirit.
+
+To the bystanders this was more affecting a thousand times than the most
+vehement and outrageous grief. Father Roche, however, who had had a
+much more comprehensive experience than his companion, knew, or at least
+hoped that it would not last long.
+
+Several of the neighbors, having seen the dead body of the constable
+borne away, suspected that something extraordinary had occurred on the
+mountain, and consequently came flocking to the cabin, anxious to
+know the truth. By this means, their acquaintances were brought
+about them--aid in every shape, as far as it could be afforded, was
+administered, and in a short time they had a little stock of meal,
+butter, milk, candles, and such other simple comforts as their poor
+friends and neighbors had to bestow. Such is the usual kindness of
+the Irish people to each other in moments of destitution and sorrow.
+Nothing, on the present occasion, could surpass their anxiety in
+ascertaining the wants of this unhappy family: and in such circumstances
+it is that the honest prompting of the humble heart, and its sincere
+participation in the calamities of its kindred poor, are known to shine
+forth with a lustre, which nothing but its distance from the observation
+of the great, or their own wilful blindness to it, could prevent it from
+being seen and appreciated as it ought.
+
+Having seen her surrounded by friends and neighbors, Father Roche, after
+first offering as far as he thought he could reasonably attempt it, some
+kind advice and consolation, prepared to take his departure with Harman,
+leaving Raymond behind them, who indeed refused to go. "No," said he,
+"I can feed Dickey here--but sure they'll want me to run messages--I'm
+active and soople, an I'll go to every place, for the widow can't. But
+tell me, is the purty boy, the fair haired boy asleep, or what?--tell
+me?"
+
+"Why do you ask, Raymond?" said Father Rocche.
+
+"Bekase I love him," replied Raymond, "and I hope he'll waken! I would
+like to see him kiss his father again--but I'm afeared somehow I never
+will. If he awakens I'll give him the cock any how--bad luck to me but I
+will."
+
+"Hush," said the priest, whilst a tear started to his eye at this most
+artless exhibition of affection for the child--"don't swear, Raymond.
+The sweet boy will never waken in this world; but he will in heaven,
+where he is awake already, and where you will see him again."
+
+"I would rather see him here," replied the other; "and I wish I had
+gev him the cock first, when he came out of the room; but what'd she do
+without his white head before her?--what'll she do, and not have that
+to look at? But stop," said Raymond--"wait a minute, and we'll soon see
+whether he'll waken or not."
+
+He then went into the little room where the poor child had lain during
+his illness, and immediately returned, bearing the cock in his hands--
+
+"Wait," said he; "I was bringing the bird to poor little Brian, for I
+promised it to him. We'll see--we'll see."
+
+As he uttered the words, he placed the bird down on the child's bosom
+and called out--
+
+"Brian, here's your present for you, that I promised you--won't you
+waken?--spake open your blue eyes, achora machree, and look at the fine
+bird I brought you."
+
+It was a most affecting little incident; for the contrast between the
+fiery scintillations flashed from the eye of the noble bird, the utter
+unbroken stillness of death, as character was so mournfully impressed
+upon the fair sweet features of innocence, was indeed such as few
+parental hearts could withstand. Raymond looked awhile as if even he had
+been struck by it.
+
+"Ah no," said he, going down to his mother; "no, Mary, he will never
+waken--and then what will you do for Brian's white head?"
+
+"Whisht!" she replied; "whisht, and I'll sing you a song. I have nothing
+else to do now but to sing and be happy--
+
+     "'Farewell father, farewell mother,
+     Farewell friends, and farewell foes!
+     I now will go and court some other,
+     For love it was the causer of all my woes."
+
+"An' so it was," she said; "for I did love some one, I think; but who
+they were, or where they are gone to, I cannot tell. Is your name,"
+she added, her eye blazing as she spoke to Raymond, "is your, name
+M'Clutchy?"
+
+"Say it is," suggested one of the neighbors; "may be it may startle the
+poor thing into her senses."
+
+"That's not very likely," replied another, "for it has startled her out
+of them--God in his mercy pity her!"
+
+Raymond, however, adopted the first suggestion, without knowing why; and
+said in a loud voice--
+
+"Ay is it; my name is Val the Vulture, that commands the blood-hounds."
+
+The creature started--became for a moment as if convulsed--then
+proceeded at a speed that was incredible, screaming frightfully, across
+the dark and desolate scenery that surrounded the house. It was vain to
+pursue her; for there was none there capable of doing it with success,
+unless Raymond, who understood not that she had become insane.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IX.--A Dialogue, exhibiting Singular Principles of Justice
+
+--Solomon's Tracts and Triumph--A Sincere Convert--Darby's Views of
+Religion--Poll Doolin's Honesty--Solomon's Christian Generosity to a
+Man in Difficulty--M'Loughlin and his Family.
+
+
+The extraordinary scene which we have just detailed as occurring in the
+mountain hut, took place on Saturday morning and about twelve on the
+subsequent Monday, the following dialogue passed between honest Val! and
+his son, Philip the graceful.
+
+"That was a most unlucky accident that happened Harpur on Saturday,"
+said Val, dryly, and looking with a good deal of significance at the
+other.
+
+"Unlucky," said Phil, "faith and honor, my good father, I don't know
+what to think."
+
+"You don't, Phil!" replied Val; "why, what the deuce could you deem more
+unlucky than to be shot stone dead, without a moment's notice."
+
+Phil's color went a little at the bare notion of such a fate; but on
+observing an expression of peculiar complacency lurking in his father's
+eye, it returned again, and after a little assurance settled down into
+its original hue.
+
+"To himself certainly," said Phil, "it was a bad business; no one can
+deny that."
+
+"But, my excellent son, Phil, it may turn out a very lucky incident for
+us in the mean time. He is, Phil, a wise man in this world who can
+turn the misfortunes or crimes of others to his own advantage. There
+is Harman for instance, Phil; now I believe you are not excessively
+attached to him."
+
+"I hate him as I do hell," replied Phil.
+
+"Very good--you hate him as you do hell--well, on the other hand, there
+is M'Loughlin, his partner in the manufactory, and his joint lessee in
+their farm--now I hate him as I do--I was about to say the devil--but I
+feel loth to render that misrepresented gentleman an injustice--that
+is, if there be such a gentleman--which, with my worthy father, I much
+doubt. Don't you think now it is a fortunate thing that we can indict
+Harman for Harpur's murder. I really think, and it is said, he murdered
+him. We would include the priest in the indictment as accessory, but
+that might be attended with personal danger--and the less real danger we
+incur the better for ourselves."
+
+"Faith and honor, father, that doctrine's worthy of an oracle--as,
+indeed, most of what you say is."
+
+"But mark me, Phil; our object is simply his ruin, not his death. Let
+us beggar M'Loughlin and him, and drive them out of the country.
+No--no--not the death of either of them; on the contrary, I should wish
+them to live, if it was only that they might feel my revenge--and that
+I knew they felt it. I would not hang them if I could, for my own sake."
+He got pale, ground his teeth, knit his black beetle brow, and exhibited
+the diabolical cast of features for which he was remarkable whenever his
+evil passions began to stir in his heart.
+
+"Now," said he to Phil, "keep a close mouth above all things, for we
+must proceed with caution. I have here a letter from Lord Cumber, in
+which, at my private suggestion, he declines to renew their leases.
+Indeed, on serious consideration, I have recently advised him to grant
+no renewals, except in cases where every reliance can be placed upon
+the principles of the parties. The want of a lease is a very wholesome
+restriction on the conduct of our enemies. M'Slime opposes me in this,
+because he cannot pocket as much as usual; but though I cannot readily
+break with him, still, I trust, that in a short time I shall be able to
+turn his flank in a manner for which he is but little prepared. I have
+reason to think he is tampering with O'Drive--in fact O'Drive told me as
+much--O'Drive, however, is at work for me, although honest Solomon
+does not suspect him. The pious attorney, who is bestowing more of his
+attention to religion than ever, has got bitten by the Conversion mania,
+and thinks he will be charged with a neglect of his gifts, as he calls
+them, unless he can produce a live convert actually made by his own
+hands. I accordingly suggested to O'Drive to consult him on some
+religious scruples that he is supposed to have felt from the perusal of
+a tract written by M'Slime himself.
+
+"Why," said Phil, "are you not aware that he gave me three or four dozen
+of them for gratuitous distribution, as he calls it. Yes, it is called
+'The Religious Attorney,' being a reconcilement between honesty and
+law, or a blessed union between light and darkness; by Solomon M'Slime,
+attorney at law.
+
+"Which tract," continued Val, "was written for the sole purpose of
+recommending himself to the notice of the religious world aforesaid,
+more, by the way, as an attorney than as a Christian. And a very good
+speculation it proved, for, whereas he was then scarcely able to make
+both ends meet by mere professional roguery, and dressed in a black
+gown--which you know he always wears in court--yet he no sooner threw
+the cloak of religion over that, than he advanced rapidly--and the
+consequence is that he is now privately a usurious discounter of bills."
+
+"Faith and honor, now, father, do you,tell me so?"
+
+"It's a fact, Philip, my son, and what is more--but the truth is, that
+neither he nor I can afford to quarrel with each other."
+
+"Why, father? what's that 'more' you were going to add?"
+
+"At this present time, Phil, it must bo secret--but it is arranged
+between him and me, that he is to succeed Harman in Beleveen; whilst you
+are to come in for M'Loughlin's holding."
+
+"For which I shall have the pleasure,to drink your health to-night, my
+old boy--upon my honor and soul you are an excellent old cock, and I'm
+very proud of you."
+
+"Go ahead, Phil; no nonsense. But stay, are those fellows of mine come
+yet?--I shall receive their informations, and have Harman in the stone
+jug before night. It is a bad case of murder committed upon a man in the
+execution of the law, do you see, Phil, and consequently I cannot take
+bail."
+
+"No, certainly not, captain--as Darby says, certainly not, plaise your
+worship--ha, ha!"
+
+"Come, Phil, keep quiet; it is now time that operations should seriously
+commence. I have gained most of my points, thank--Valentine M'Clutchy,
+at all events. I am head agent; you are my Deputy-master of an Orange
+Lodge--a Magistrate, and write J.P. after my name--Captain and Paymaster
+in the Castle Cumber cavalry, and you lieutenant; and though last, not
+least, thanks to my zeal and activity in the Protestant cause, I am at
+length a member of the Grand Panel of the county. Phil, my boy, there is
+nothing like religion and loyalty when well managed, but otherwise--"
+
+"They are not worth a feather," replied Phil; "right, captain--there's
+an oracle again."
+
+"And, Phil, my son; what is there wrong in this? In fact there is
+scarcely a better capital to trade on than religion and loyalty. You
+know what I mean, Phil;--not the things, if there be such things, which
+I must beg leave to doubt; but that principle which causes one man to
+hate another, in proportion to its influence over him."
+
+"Ay," said Phil, "just as you and I, who have not got a touch of
+religion in our whole composition, have the character of being two of
+the staunchest Protestants in the county."
+
+"Yes," replied the father, "and in this case the fiction is as good
+and better than the truth. The fiction, Phil, under which our religion
+appears is our own interests--no, I am wrong--the fiction under which
+our interest appeal's is our religion--that is the way of it; and
+the truth is, Phil, that ninety-nine men out of every hundred will
+go ninety-nine miles for their interests, before they will go one for
+either religion or truth--that's the way of it, too. However, pass
+that--now about Poll Doolin and the hint I gave you?"
+
+"Why, you know at that time matters were not ripe for it. Don't you
+remember telling me so yourself?"
+
+"I do, but I speak of your present intentions."
+
+"Faith, my present intentions would be to marry the girl, Papist though
+she be, if I could; but as that's out of the question, I will now follow
+up your hint."
+
+"Then you had better see Poll, and go on with it. Are you aware,
+besides, that the concern is tottering?"
+
+"The manufactory! No--is that possible?"
+
+"It is a fact; but you know not how honest Solomon and I have been at
+work. It is tottering, Lieutenant M'Clutchy, and in a short time you
+will see what you shall see."
+
+"Well," said Phil, "so far everything is turning out very fortunate for
+us--but I think, Captain, that you are one of those men who are born
+under what they call a lucky planet;--eh? old boy?"
+
+"Well, I think so; but in the meantime see Poll Doolin, and after that
+pay a visit to my father. The old scoundrel is upon his last legs, and
+there can be no harm in paying him some attention now. You are not a
+favorite of his; so smooth him down as much as you can. I don't myself
+expect that he will remember either of us in his will; but, as he is
+hasty and capricious, it is difficult to say what effect a favorable
+impression might have upon him."
+
+"Neither are you a favorite with Isabel, or Jezabel, as he calls her."
+
+"No, I made a bad move there--but, after all, what did I, or rather,
+what could I lose by neglecting her? Did she not succeed in banishing
+every one of his relatives from about him? It was neither her interest
+nor her inclination to keep in with his friends:--go and see him, at all
+events; reconnoitre, and report accordingly--and now if these fellows
+are come let them be sent in."
+
+Phil accordingly withdrew to follow up his own speculations, and in a
+few minutes our friends, who so bravely distinguished themselves in the
+widow's cabin, entered the office. Val, like most men of his class and
+experience, was forced to undergo strong contests between the vanity
+occasioned by his success in life, and his own shrewd sense and acute
+perception of character. Whenever he could indulge that vanity without
+allowing its gratification to be perceived by others, he always did so;
+but if he happened to have a person to deal with, whom he suspected of
+a sufficiently keen penetration, his own sagacity always checked its
+display. No man ever puzzled him so thoroughly as O'Drive, who so
+varied and timed his flattery, as to keep him in a state of perpetual
+alternation between a perception of the fellow's knavery, and a belief
+in his simplicity of heart. On one occasion he would exclaim to himself
+or Phil, "This O'Drive is a desperate knave,--it's impossible that he
+can be honest;" and again, "Well, well; there is too much simplicity
+there, too much truth unnecessarily told, to allow me to consider that
+poor devil a rogue--no, he is honest." The consequence was, that Darby
+flattered him, and he relished it so strongly because he did not imagine
+it was intentional, that Darby understood his weak points, in that
+respect, better than any man living. This, in a country where the people
+are shrewd observers in general, could scarcely be supposed to escape
+their observation; nor did it. Darby's manner was so naturally imitated
+by others, that even the keen and vigilant Valentine M'Olutchy was
+frequently over-reached without being at all conscious of the fact.
+
+When the men of the Castle Cumber corps came in, they found their
+captain sitting, or rather lolling, in a deep-seated arm-chair, dressed
+in a morning-gown and red morocco slippers. He was, or appeared to be,
+deeply engaged over a pile of papers, parchments, and letters, and for
+about a minute raised not his head. At length he drew a long breath,
+and exclaimed in a soliloquy--"just so, my lord, just so; every man that
+scruples to support the Protestant interests will meet no
+countenance from you;--'nor shall he, Mr. M'Clutchy, from you, as my
+representative,' you add--'and I beg you'"--he went on to road a few
+lines further--"'to transmit me the names and capacities of all
+those who are duly active on my property in suppressing disturbance,
+convicting criminals, and preserving the peace; especially those who are
+remarkable for loyal and constitutional principles; such are the men we
+will cherish, such are the men we must and ought to serve.' It is very
+true, my lord, it is very true indeed, and--oh! my friends, I beg your
+pardon! I hadn't noticed you--oh, dear me! how is this? why I didn't
+imagine you had been so sadly abused as all this comes to--this is
+dreadful, and all in resisting the king's warrant against the murderer.
+But how did it happen that this Harman murdered our poor friend Harpur?"
+
+"Harpur is done for, captain, sure enough; there's no doubt of that."
+
+"Well, it's one comfort that we live in a country where there is
+justice, my friends. Of course you will prosecute him for this
+diabolical murder; I sent for you to receive your informations, and we
+shall lodge him in gaol before night."
+
+"I would rather prosecute that Blackguard Rimon-a-hattha," said a
+man, whose head was awfully swollen, and bound up with a handkerchief,
+"Rimon, Captain, is the greatest rascal of the two--he is, by, Japurs."
+
+"Yes, but is he not an idiot, Johnston? In point of law he is only a
+fiction, and cannot be prosecuted."
+
+"Fiction, Captain! Sowl, I don't know what you call a fiction--but if
+I'm guessin' properly, hell to the much of it was in his blows--look at
+how my head is, and I wish you could see my ribs, plase your worship."
+
+"Well but let us come to the most important matter first--and before
+I go further, my friends and brothers, I would just throw out for
+your satisfaction, a few observations that I wish to impress upon you.
+Recollect that in this business, and in every business like it, you must
+have the pleasure at least of reflecting that you have now a magistrate
+who will see that all due care is taken of your interests--who will
+accompany your proceedings step by step, and see that all is as it ought
+to be. That is not partiality, my dear friends; that is not favor nor
+affection, nor leaning to you; no, nor--ha, ha, ha, leaning from you,
+either, my friends."
+
+"Long life to your worship! Long life to you, Captain! You're the right
+sort, and no mistake."
+
+"M'Dowel, what detained you from your lodge on Thursday night."
+
+"I was buying a springer in Hush fair, and didn't get home in time, your
+worship."
+
+"Well, M'Dowel, mark-me,--I neither can, nor will, overlook neglect in
+these matters. The man that neglects them wilfully, is a man I won't
+depend upon--and two of your neighbors were absent from parade on
+Wednesday week. Now, it's really too bad to expect that I, or any other
+gentleman in the country, will exert ourselves so strenuously to sustain
+and extend our own principles, or! to speak plainly, to keep them up--to
+maintain our ascendancy,--if we cannot reckon upon the earnest and
+cordial support of those for whose sake we take all this trouble--upon
+my honor it's a shame."
+
+"It is a shame, Captain, and I say here's one," placing his hand upon
+his heart, "of the right kidney. By the holy William, there is."
+
+"We're all so, your worship," replied Sharpe, "and sure every one knows
+it--but, plaise your honor, what's to be done about Harman?"
+
+"Why, prosecute him for the murder of course."
+
+"But then," said one of them, "sure Harman didn't murder him,
+Captain--among ourselves, it was all accident."
+
+M'Clutchy seemed surprised at this, and after hearing their individual
+opinions, which indeed, conflicted very much, some positively asserting
+that he did, and others that he did not, murder the man, he began to
+view the matter in a somewhat different and more cautious light. He
+mused for some time; however, and after a second and more deliberate
+investigation, finding that there were two for the murder and only one
+against it, he at length took their informations, resolving to bring the
+matter to trial at all hazards. The warrant for Harmon's apprehension
+was accordingly issued, and entrusted to a dozen of the most resolute
+fellows in his corps; who so far enabled our magistrate to fulfil his
+intention, that they lodged his enemy in the county prison that very
+night.
+
+The next morning, when reading the papers, our Captain was not a little
+surprised at reading in one of them an advertisement to the following
+effect:
+
+"To the public--found, in the office of Mr. Solomon M'Slime, a Bank
+of Ireland Note, of large amount. The person losing it may have it by
+giving a proper description of same, and paying the expenses of this
+advertisement. N. B.--It is expected, as the loser of the note must be
+in affluent circumstances, that he will, from principles of Christian
+sympathy, contribute, or enable some Christian friend to contribute, a
+moderate donation to some of our greatest public charities. Thus will
+that which at the first view appears to be serious calamity, be made,
+under Him, a blessing and a consolation, not only to the wealthy
+individual who lost the money, but to some of our destitute fellow
+creatures. This, however, is not named as a condition, but merely as a
+suggestion offered from motives of benignity and duty.
+
+"Also, just published, _The Religious Attorney_; being a reconcilement
+between Honesty and Law; or a blessed Union between Light and Darkness.
+By S. M'S. Tenth Thousand.
+
+"Also, in the Press, and will soon be published, done up neatly in
+foolscap, and rogue's binding for cheapness, by the same author, _The
+Converted Bailiff_; being designed as a companion to _The Religious
+Attorney_. These productions need not be sought for with any of the
+profane booksellers of the city; but only at the Religious Depositories,
+or at those godly establishments in Sackville street and College green."
+
+This, however, was not all. In a different column appeared the
+following; which, however, did not surprise M'Clutchy:
+
+     "Glorious Triumph of Religious Truth.
+
+"In another part of our paper, our readers will perceive in an
+advertisement, an additional proof, if such were necessary, of the
+strong integrity of that ornament of his profession, both as an Attorney
+and Christian, Mr. Solomon M'Slime. This gentleman, whilst he devotes
+himself, with a pure and guileless heart, to the extensive practice
+which his high principles and great skill have gained him in his
+profession, does not neglect the still higher and more important
+interests of himself and his fellow creatures. It is a gracious thing to
+know that a spirit of deep and earnest inquiry is now abroad, by which
+hundreds are, under God, brought from darkness to light--from the gall
+of bitterness and the bond of iniquity, out into the freedom of perfect
+day. Verily there is a new Reformation abroad--the strongholds of
+Popery are fast falling one after another. In the neighborhood of
+Mount-starve-'em, the spirit has been poured out most abundantly;
+and this manifestation is the more gracious, when we reflect that the
+dreadful famine which now prevails throughout the country, has been made
+(always under Him) the precious but trying means of bringing the poor
+benighted creatures to taste the fruits of a better faith. Nothing,
+indeed, can equal the bounty of that excellent nobleman, Lord------,
+who supplies beef and blankets--Bibles and bread--to those who may
+be likened to the multitude that were fed so miraculously in the
+wilderness--that is to say, who followed the good shepherd for his
+doctrine, and were filled with bread. Mr. M'Slime, who has within
+his own humble sphere not been inactive, can boast at least of having
+plucked one brand out of the burning, in the person of Darby O'Drive,
+the respectable bailiff of Valentine M'Clutchy, Esq., the benevolent
+agent of the Castle Cumber estate--to which Mr. M'Slime himself is law
+agent. It is understood that on next Sabbath (D.V.) Mr. O'Drive will
+make a public profession of his faith--or, in other words, "that he will
+recant the errors of Popery, and embrace those of Protestantism."* The
+merit of his conversion is due--but merit there is none--to Mr.
+M'Slime, or rather to his two very popular and searching tracts, called,
+'Spiritual Food for Babes of Grace,' and 'The Religious Attorney,'
+which he had placed for perusal in Mr. O'Drive's hands. Mr. O'Drive now
+declares himself a Babe of Grace, and free from the bonds of sin; or,
+as he more simply, but truthfully and characteristically expresses it--a
+beautiful specimen indeed of his simplicity of views--'he is replevined
+from the pound of human fraility--no longer likely to be brought to
+the devil's auction, or knocked down to Satan as a bad bargain.'--For
+ourselves, we cannot help thinking that this undoubted triumph of
+religious truth, in the person of Darby O'Drive, is as creditable to the
+zeal of Mr. M'Slime, as it is to his sincerity. Encouraged by this
+great success, Mr. M'Slime, seconded by several of our leading
+controversialists, has succeeded in getting up a polemical discussion,
+on the merits of the Protestant and Popish creeds. The particulars have
+not been decided upon, but they shall probably appear in an early number
+of our paper. In the meantime we are authorized by Mr. Darby O'Drive
+to issue a formal challenge to any Popish and idolatrous bailiff in
+Ireland, to discuss with him the relative powers, warrants, processes,
+triumphs, conflagrations, and executions of their resspective churches."
+
+     * This expression has been attributed to Faulkner, the
+     printer of Swift's works; but it is much more likely that it
+     belongs to the Dean himself.
+
+He had scarcely finished this characteristic paragraph, when O'Drive's
+knock, as usual, was heard, and in a few minutes the redoubted champion
+and challenger entered. There was a knavish demureness about him, and a
+kind of comic solemnity in his small, cunning gray eye, that no painter
+could copy.
+
+"Why, you scoundrel," said Val, "you're overdoing the thing altogether;
+is it possible that M'Slime is such a spooney as not to see through
+you?"
+
+"Ah, Captain, you don't make any allowance for my simplicity; sure you
+know, sir, I must grow young and innocent, if I'm to become a babe of
+grace, your worship."
+
+"But what's the meaning of all this work about discussions and such
+stuff?"
+
+"Faith, sir, it's all thrue enough at any rate; we're to have a
+religious field day here in the Sessions house of Castle Cumber; the
+whole thing is regulated--the seconds, and bottle houlders, and all is
+appointed. There's the Rev. Christopher Gammon, Rev. Vesuvius M'Slug,
+who's powerful against Popery, the Rev. Bernard Brimstone, and the Rev.
+Phineas Lucre, with many more on the side of truth. On that of Popery
+and falsehood there's the Rev. Father M'Stake, the Rev. Father O'Flary,
+the Rev. Father M'Fire, and the Rev. Nicholas O'Scorch, D.D. Dr. Sombre
+is to be second on our side; and Father M'Fud on the part of Popery and
+idolatry."
+
+"And when is this precious spouting match to take place, you rascal?"
+
+"Why, sir, on Monday week; and on next Sunday, sir, I'm to read my
+rekintation, plaise God."
+
+"But I didn't intend that you should go to such lengths as
+that--however, that's your own affair."
+
+"But, Captain ahagur, sure it's on your account I'm doin' it--won't it
+enable me to get the blind side of him about one or two tilings we want
+to come at."
+
+"Indeed, I believe certainly, that if he has a blind side at all, it is
+his own hypocrisy."
+
+"Be my soul, and it'll go hard or we'll worm out the sacret we want.
+There is one tiling I'm sartin of, he thinks, now that I'm turnin' by
+the way, that I'm ready to desart and desave you, Captain, an' indeed he
+says many things of you that he ought not to' say."
+
+"Let us hear them."
+
+"Why, sir, he said the other day--but sorra one o' me likes to be
+repeatin' these things."
+
+"Come, come, you rascal, out with it."
+
+"He said, sir, that he feared the divil had a hard howlt o you--that was
+the day I brought him the last letter, sir--that your heart, Captain,
+was full o' desate, and damnably wicked, plase your worship, and that if
+you didn't improve your morals you'd go where there is--something about
+gnashing of teeth, your honor."
+
+"He's a double distilled scoundrel," replied Val, bitterly, "and
+although I know him well, I am determined still to know him better."
+
+"Double distilled!--ay, faith, rectified many degrees above proof; but
+never mind; if I don't put a spoke in his wheel, I'm not here."
+
+"Well, never mind now, either--give the hypocritical little scoundrel
+this letter."
+
+"I will, and thank you, Captain! God bless your honor, and grant you
+'long to reign over us, happy and glorious, God save the king! armin.'
+You see, captain, I've the right strain of loyalty in me, any how, ha,
+ha, ha! Throth, if I ever change in airnest, it isn't among the yallow
+bellies I'll go; but into his majesty's own church, Captain Val--the
+brave church where they have the bells, and the big blessed lookin'
+bishops, and their organs and coaches; aye, faith, and where everything
+is dacent and jintlemanly. Sure blood alive, Captain Val, beggin'
+your pardon, what's the use of a religion if it's not respectable and
+ginteel? What signifies a ministher of any religion, if he hasn't a fat
+purse in his pocket, and a good round belly before him, for that shows,
+plaise your worship, that religion is more than a name, any how; an'
+upon my conscience--oh, holy Moses, Captain Val, if M'Slime was to
+hear me swearin' this way! God pardon me! how-and-ever, but upon
+my conscience, it isn't the religion that keeps a man poor, but the
+religion that puts the flesh on his bones, and keeps it there, that is
+the right one--aye, and not only that, but that keeps a good coat on
+his back, your honor, and a good pair of breeches to his posterals--for
+which raison, whenever I do sariously turn it'll be--but you may
+guess--it'll be to the only true and loyal church;--for when a man
+can get both fat, and loyal, and religious, all at one move, he's a
+confounded fool that won't become religious."
+
+This certainly, though not intended for it, was a true and bitter
+comment upon the principles of such men as M'Clutchy, who considered
+a profane and licentious attachment to a mere Establishment as a high
+duty, not because that establishment was the exponent of divine truth,
+but of a mere political symbol, adopted by subordinate and secular aids,
+to bind men of the same principles together.
+
+"Begone, you rascal, and confound your dissertation. Go and deliver the
+letter, as I desired you, and bring me an answer."
+
+"Sartinly, Captain, and will have an eye about me, into the bargain. How
+is Captain Phil, sir, before I go?"
+
+M'Clutchy made a motion of indignation, but could not, in the meantime,
+altogether repress a smile; and Darby, taking his hat with a kind of
+shrewd and confidential grin, ran out of the office.
+
+Our narrative now passes to the house of Poll Doolin, which was situated
+in a row of cottages towards the north side of Castle Cumber. Her son
+Raymond and she were its only inmates, and the former was in the act of
+replacing a hat among the _tria juncta in uno_, which he always wore.
+
+"Raymond," said his mother, "now that you've got your supper, you must
+keep house till I come back."
+
+"Must I indeed?---why must I? answer me that, there now, that's one."
+
+"Becase I'm goin' out on business."
+
+"What business?--where to?--what brought Phil M'Clutchy here
+yestherday?--tell me that--eh?"
+
+"Oh, I couldn't tell you that, Raymond."
+
+"Don't do anything for Phil, he's Val's son, that keeps the
+blood-hounds. Ah, poor Brian, and his white head--no', he'll never
+waken--never waken--an' what has she now to look at! Mother, I'd give
+all the cocks I ever had to see him and his white head in his mother's
+arms again--God's curse on Val! God's curse on him! I hate him--I hate
+Phil--I hate all of them--don't mother; do nothing for them."
+
+"You foolish boy, what do you know about it?--keep the house till I come
+back, and I'll bring you a pennyworth of tobaccy?"
+
+"But you will go?" said Raymond.
+
+"I must, you fool."
+
+"Very well, then, take it out o' that--there now, that's one."
+
+It was now drawing on towards dusk, and Poll, assuming her black bonnet,
+and throwing her black cloak about her shoulders, sallied out with that
+furtive air which always accompanies one who is conscious of something
+that requires concealment. Her motions always were rapid, but on
+this occasion she walked like one whose mind brooded lover
+difficulties--sometimes she went very quick, then slackened her pace,
+and once or twice stood still, musing with her right hand to her chin.
+At length she reached the residence of Brian M'Loughlin, just after
+night had set it--she entered not, but glided about the house, waited,
+watched, listened, and peeped into the house, very like a thief that
+was setting the premises. Ultimately she took her stand at a particular
+window in the rear of the building, where she kept watch with great
+patience, though for what purpose it would appear very difficult to
+guess. Patience, however, is often rewarded, and it was so in the case
+before us. After about half an hour a light fell through the glass, and
+Poll, availing herself of the opportunity, tapped gently: at first
+it was not noticed, and she tapped again, somewhat louder; this was
+successful--a gentle voice inquired in tones more of surprise than
+alarm, "who is there, and what is your business!"
+
+"A friend," said Poll.
+
+"Poll Doolin!"
+
+"The same, and I'm here on a case of life and death. Could you come out
+for a start--three minutes will do."
+
+"Certainly not--you trifled unnecessarily with my feelings before--I
+will have no more mysteries. I can raise the window, however, and
+anything you have to say can be said where we stand." She raised the sash
+as she spoke. "Now," said she "what is your business, Poll?"
+
+"Life and death, as I said," replied Poll "Do you not know that Mr.
+Harman is to be tried for murder, and that the assizes will open in a
+few days?"
+
+"Unfortunately I do," replied Mary, sighing deeply, "but there can be no
+doubt of his acquittal. Father Roche has been here, who was present, and
+told us how the whole circumstance occurred."
+
+"I don't doubt that," said Poll, "but this I tell you, and this you may
+rely on, that hang he will, in spite of fate; he's doomed."
+
+"Great God!" exclaimed the now terrified girl, "you chill the blood in
+my veins--doomed!--what do you mean, Poll?"
+
+"M'Clutchy will have him hanged in spite of all opposition--you know his
+power now--he can carry everything his own way."
+
+"I know," replied the other, "that his influence is unfortunately great,
+no doubt, and cruelly is it exercised; but still, I don't know that he
+can carry everything his own way."
+
+"Do you know what packing a jury means?"
+
+"Alas!" replied Mary, starting, and getting pale, "I do indeed, Poll. I
+have heard of it too frequently."
+
+"What, then, has the Vulture, the blood-hound, to do, but to get twelve
+Orangemen upon the jury, and the work is done?"
+
+The unhappy girl burst into tears, and wrung her hands, for, however
+questionable the veracity of her present informant, she knew, from the
+unfortunate circumstances of the country, that such corrupt influences
+had too frequently been exerted.
+
+"Don't you know," added Poll, "that the thing can be done? Isn't the
+sheriff himself an Orangeman--isn't the sub-sheriff an Orangeman--isn't
+the grand jury Orange, aren't they all Orange through other?"
+
+"I believe so, indeed," said Mary, still weeping bitterly, "and there
+is, I fear, little or no hope."
+
+"Well, but," replied Poll, "what if I could give you hope?"
+
+"You, Poll, what can you mean? You!"
+
+"Yes, me," said Poll, "poor as I stand here now."
+
+"Well, but how?"
+
+"Through them that can turn old Val the Vulture round their finger. What
+do you think brought me here--or who do you think sent me? Don't you
+know that I have no raison to like a bone in the skin of one o' your
+family, and that it's more, of coorse, to plaise others than myself that
+I'm here; but, over and above that, you, Miss M'Loughlin, never offended
+or injured me, and I'm willin' to sarve you in this business, if you
+will sarve yourself."
+
+"But, how--but, how?" replied the distracted girl, "only tell me how?"
+
+"There is one, and only one, that can twist Val round his finger, and
+in this same business is willing to do so--and that one is his own son,
+Phil."
+
+Mary stood for a moment without even breathing; indeed, she exhibited
+strong symptoms of disgust at his very name.
+
+"He is a person I detest," she replied, "beyond any human creature."
+
+"That may be," said Poll, "but still he can save the man that is to be
+your husband; and that's what you ought to think of--the time is short
+now, and the loss of a day may ruin all. Listen Miss M'Loughlin:--Mr.
+Phil desired me to say to you, that if you will allow him a few minutes'
+conversation with you behind the garden, about dusk or a little after
+it, he'll satisfy you that he can and will save him--but it must be on
+the condition of seeing you, as I say."
+
+"Let him be generous," she replied, "and impose no such condition."
+
+"He won't interfare on any other terms," replied Poll; "he knows, it
+seems, that you have an unfavorable opinion of him, and he wishes to
+prove to you that he doesn't desarve it."
+
+Mary paused for some time, and appeared very much distressed. I fear,
+thought she, it is selfish in me to think of my own feelings, or to have
+a moment's hesitation in sacrificing them to his safety. It is certainly
+a disgusting task to meet this man; but what ought I not to do,
+consistent with conscious rectitude of motive, to save my dear Harman's
+life, for I fear the circumstances come to that.
+
+"Well, then, Poll, if I meet this man, mark me, it is solely for the
+purpose of striving to save Mr. Harman's life; and observe, because Mr.
+M'Clutchy is ungenerous enough to make my meeting him the condition of
+his interference."
+
+"That," said Poll, "is for yourself to consider; but surely you would
+be a strange girl, if you refused to meet him for such a purpose. That
+would be a quare way of showing your love to Mr. Harman."
+
+"I shall meet him, then," said Mary, "at the stile behind the garden;
+and may God direct and protect me in what I purpose!"
+
+Poll gave no amen, to this, as it might be supposed she would have done,
+but simply said--
+
+"I'm glad, Miss M'Loughlin, that you're doin' what you are doin'. It'll
+be a comfort maybe to yourself to reflect on it hereafther. Good night,
+Miss."
+
+Mary bade her good night, and after closing the shutters of her room
+which she had come to do, retired; and with an anxious heart returned to
+the parlor.
+
+M'Loughlin's family consisted of three sons and but one daughter, Mary,
+with whom our readers are already acquainted. The eldest, James, was a
+fine young man of twenty-three; the second, Tom, was younger than Mary,
+who then was entering her twenty-first; and the youngest, called Brian,
+after his father, was only eighteen. The honest fellow's brow was
+clouded with a deep expression of melancholy, and he sat for some time
+silent after Mary's return to the parlor. At length he said in a kind of
+soliloquy--
+
+"I wish, _Raymond-na-hattha_, you had been behind the Slievbeen
+Mountains that bitter morning you came for James Harman!"
+
+"If he had," said Tom, "poor James wouldn't be where he is to-night."
+
+"But I hope, father," said Mary, in a voice which though it trembled a
+little, yet expressed a certain portion of confidence--"I hope as it
+was an accident, that there will not be any serious risk."
+
+"I would be sorry to take any hope out of your heart that's in it,
+Mary; but, still, I can't forget that Val the Vulture's his bitterest
+enemy--and we all know what he's capable of doing. His son, too,
+graceful Phil, is still worse against him than the father, especially
+ever since Harman pulled his nose for what he said of Mary here. Did I
+ever mention it to you?"
+
+"No, sir," replied Mary, coloring without exactly knowing why, "you
+never did."
+
+"I was present," said young Brian, "but it wasn't so much for what he
+said, for he got afraid, but the way he looked."
+
+"The scoundrel," said James, indignantly, "well Brian--"
+
+"'Twas at the Ball Alley," proceeded the young fellow, "in Castle
+Cumber; Mary was passing homewards, and Phil was speaking to long Tom
+Sharpe, father to one of the blood-hounds. 'That's a purty girl,' said
+Sharpe, 'who is she?' 'Oh,' says Phil, 'an acquaintance of mine--but I
+can say no more honor bright,' and he winked one of his squinting eyes
+as he spoke. James Harman who was standing behind him stepped forward,
+'but I can say more,' said he, 'she's daughter to Brian M'Loughlin, and
+no acquaintance of yours--and what is more, never will be; ay, and what
+is more,' said James, 'here's a proof of it;' and as he spoke he pulled
+Phil's proboscis, and then wiped his fingers in his purty face. 'Now,
+you cowardly scoundrel,' he added, 'let that teach you not to speak of
+any respectable female in such a tone, or to claim an acquaintance where
+you have it not.'"
+
+"Never mind, my good fellow," said Phil, "I'll make you smoke for this."
+
+"You know where I'm to be found," said James, "and your remedy too; but
+you haven't the spirit to take it like a man--and so I leave you with
+the white feather in your cap."
+
+This anecdote for various reasons distressed Mary beyond relief. It
+increased her detestation of young M'Clutchy to the highest possible
+pitch, and rendered the very thought of him doubly odious to her heart.
+Her understanding became bewildered, and for a while she knew not
+what she said or did. Taking a candle and attempting to conceal her
+agitation, she withdrew again to her own room, where she sat for nearly
+half an hour endeavoring to shape her tumultuous thoughts into something
+of clearness and order.
+
+M'Loughlin's brow, however, after her departure, still remained clouded.
+"Misfortunes they say," said he, "never come single; here is our
+lease out, and we will not get a renewal notwithstanding the fine we
+offered--and to mend the matter some good friend has spread a report
+that the firm of M'Loughlin and Harman is unsafe. Our creditors are
+coming down upon us fast--but it's the way of the world, every one
+striving to keep himself safe. If these men were not set upon us by some
+coward in the dark there would be neither loss nor risk to them nor to
+us; but if they press on us out of the usual course, I fear we won't be
+able to stand it. Then poor Harman, too! heighonee!" After some further
+conversation, in which it was clear that M'Clutchy's and M'Slime's
+manoeuvres had begun to develop themselves, Mary rejoined them. Her
+countenance on her return was evidently more composed, and impressed
+with a more decided, perhaps we should say, determined character. She
+had made her mind up. M'Clutchy, junior, was no doubt one of the most
+detastable of men, but as she knew that she hated him, and felt a
+perfect consciousness of all that was truthful, and pure, and cautious
+in herself, she came once more to the resolution of sacrificing her own
+disgust to the noble object of saving her lover. Besides, it was by no
+means an unreasonable hope on her part; for such was the state of party
+and political feeling at the time, that wiser and more experienced heads
+would have calculated rightly, and calculated as she did.
+
+"Father," said she, on returning to the parlor, "don't be cast down too
+much about Harman--I think, considering everything, that his case is far
+from being hopeless. There is Father Roche--as for poor Mary O'Regan, in
+consequence of her insanity, she unfortunately can be of no use--and
+one of the blood-hounds are against the two others. Now, two to two, is
+surely strong evidence in his favor."
+
+She did not, however, make the slightest allusion to the grounds
+on which she actually did rest her hope--that is to say, on Phil's
+influence over his father.
+
+M'Loughlin was glad to see that her spirits were so much more improved
+than they had been; and so far from uttering anything calculated,
+to depress them, he appeared to feel much more easy in his mind than
+before--and, perhaps, actually did so.
+
+"Well," said he to his wife, who was a woman of few words but deep
+feeling; "Kathleen, will you see that we get a glass of punch--the boys
+and I; there can be no harm surely in drinking a ------; but it's time
+enough to drink it when we see the liquor before us. Mary, avourneen,
+as you are activer than your mother, will you undertake that duty?--do,
+avillish machree."
+
+In a few minutes Mary quietly but actively had the decanter, sugar, and
+hot water before them; and Brian, having mixed a tumbler for himself,
+and shoved the materials over to his two eldest boys, resumed the
+conversation.
+
+"Come, boys; are you mixed?"
+
+"All ready, sir."
+
+"Well, here's that James Harman may triumph over his enemies!"
+
+This was drank, we need not say, with an anxious and sincere heart.
+
+"Do you know now," said M'Loughlin, "that I think there's a very great
+difference between little M'Slime, and that Vulture of hell, M'Clutchy.
+The little fellow came riding past to-day, and seeing me in the field,
+he beckoned to me:--
+
+"'I hope,' says he, 'that certain reports, which I was sorry to hear of,
+are unfounded?'
+
+"'What reports, Mr. M'Slime?' says I to him.
+
+"'Why,' said he, 'it is not out of idle curiosity that I make the
+inquiry, but I trust from better and more Christian motives;' and, upon
+my conscience, the little fellow turned up his eyes towards heaven, in a
+way that would shame Father Roche himself. Faith, if there wasn't truth
+there, I don't know where you could get it. 'The reports I speak of,'
+says he, 'touch the solvency of your firm.'
+
+"'Able to pay fifty shillings in a pound,' said I, not willing to
+encourage the outcry.
+
+"'I'm delighted to hear it,' says generous little Solomon; 'but all I
+have to say is, that if it had been otherwise, or should it actually be
+otherwise, so far as a few hundred pounds go, you may draw upon a man--a
+sinner--a frail mortal and an unworthy--named Solomon M'Slime. This,' he
+went on, 'is not mere worldly friendship, Mr. M'Loughlin, that promises
+much until the necessity arrives, and then do all such promises flee
+as it were into the wilderness. No, my friend,' says the warm-hearted
+little saint, 'no my friend, these offers are founded not on my own
+strength, so to say, but upon those blessed precepts, Mr. M'Loughlin,
+which teach us to love our neighbors as ourselves--and to do unto
+others even as we wish they should do unto us.' He squeezed my hand,
+and whispered in my ear--'As far as three hundred pounds go, should you
+require it, rely on me; but harkee,' says he, 'and now,'--well, here's
+his health--'and now,' says he, 'and now,'--oh! I knew he was in
+earnest--'and now,' says he, 'one word with you--I trust--I hope, I may
+say, that I am a Christian man, who would not speak aught against my
+neighbor; but this, out of a principle of Christian kindness, I will
+say;--beware of Valentine M'Clutchy. It is known there!' said he,
+pointing his finger, and turning up his eyes to heaven--'it is known
+there from what motives I speak this. I am glad I saw thee--peace be
+with thee--farewell, and do not despise or overlook my services, or my
+poor sinful offers.'"
+
+"Now," said the simple-minded but upright and unsuspicious man, "I do
+say that was no every-day offer. I would be glad to hear M'Clutchy
+make such an offer to any man--for which reason here's little Solomon's
+health once more, and long life to him!"
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER X.--A Dutiful Grandson and a Respectable Grandmother
+
+--Military Dialogue --Disobedience of Orders--Solomon's Candor--A
+Confidential Communication--Solomon Dances the Swaggering jig--Honest
+Correspondence--Darby's Motion of Spiritual Things--Two Religions Better
+than One--Darby's Love of Truth.
+
+We believe our readers may understand, that although we have ourselves
+taken the liberty of insinuating that little Solomon, as M'Loughlin
+called him, was not precisely--but we beg pardon, it is time enough
+to speak of that yet. All we have to say in the mean time is, that
+Solomon's character, up to the period we speak of, was not merely
+spotless, but a burning and a shining light in the eyes of all the
+saints and sinners of the religious world, not only in Castle Cumber,
+but in the metropolis itself. Solomon was an Elder of his congregation,
+in which Sabbath after Sabbath he took his usual prominent part as
+collector--raised the psalms--sang loudest--and whenever the minister
+alluded to the mercy that was extended to sinners, Solomon's groan of
+humility--of sympathy with the frail, and of despair for the impenitent;
+his groan, we say, under these varied intimations of Gospel truth,
+was more than a sermon in itself. It not only proclaimed to the
+whole congregation that he was a sinner, but that he felt for
+sinners--rejoiced in their repentance, which he often did in a
+nondescript scream, between a groan and a cackle of holy joy, that
+alarmed the congregation; but also wept for their hardness of heart,
+when he imagined that it was likely to terminate in final reprobation,
+with such a pathetic fervency, that on many such occasions some of those
+who sat beside him were obliged to whisper--"Brother M'Slime, you are
+too much overcome--too piously excited--do not allow yourself to exhibit
+such an excess of Christian sympathy, or there will be many instances
+among the weaker vessels of relapses and backslidings, from not
+understanding that it is more for others thou art feeling than for
+thyself."
+
+Solomon then took his hands from before his face, wiped his eyes with
+his handkerchief on which they had been embedded, and with a serene and
+rather heavenly countenance looked up to the preacher, then closing his
+eyes as if in a state of ethereal enjoyment, he clasped his hands with
+a sweet smile, twirling his thumbs and bowing his head, as the speaker
+closed every paragraph of the discourse.
+
+These observations account very plainly for the opinions touching
+Solomon which were expressed by M'Loughlin. Solomon was at this time an
+unadulterated saint--a professor--in fact one of the elect who had cast
+his anchor sure. But as the proverb gays, time will tell.
+
+That night M'Loughlin and his family retired to bed for the first time
+overshadowed, as it were, by a gloomy presentiment of some change, which
+disturbed and depressed their hearts. They slept, however, in peace and
+tranquillity, free from those snake-like pangs which coil themselves
+around guilt, and deaden its tendencies to remorse, whilst they envenom
+its baser and blacker purposes.
+
+M'Slime himself at this crisis was beginning privately to feel some of
+the very natural consequences of his own oft acknowledged frailty. Phil,
+who had just left Constitution Cottage a few minutes before Darby's
+arrival, had not seen him that morning. The day before he had called
+upon his grandfather, who told him out of the pallor window to "go to
+h---; you may call tomorrow, you cowardly whelp, if you wish to see
+me--but in the meantime," he added as before, "go where I desired you."
+
+Phil, who possessed a great deal of his father's selfishness and also of
+his low cunning, but none at all of his ability, turned back indignantly
+and rode home again. He had not passed more than about a hundred yards
+from the avenue out into the highway, when he met Sharpe, one of the
+heroes of the cabin.
+
+We shall not detail their conversation, which, of course, embraced
+many of the circumstances connected with their duties, excepting a few
+interjectional imprecations which Phil in an occasional parenthesis
+dutifully bestowed upon his grandfather.
+
+"So, Sharpe, the fool Rimon made such a devil of a fight (the infernal
+old scoundrel)--and took the gun."
+
+"Why, Captain Phil, if he hasn't the strength of ten men, I'll never
+manoeuvre on parade while I live--he's a bloody rascal."
+
+"(A double distilled old scoundrel, and I wish the devil had him,)--he's
+a bad bird, Sharpe, fool and all as he is, there's no doubt of that.
+What did the priest do?"
+
+"Why, your honor, I can't say that he took much part in it, barrin' once
+that he went between us and the woman."
+
+"He had no right to do that--(the blaspheming old vagabond,)--none at
+all, Sharpe, and he ought to be prosecuted."
+
+"He ought, Captain, and will, I hope."
+
+"But then, Shaj-pe, if we swing Harman it will be enough, for
+Harman--(he'll fiz for it, and that soon I hope)--is another bad bird."
+
+"Oh, devil a worse, Captain, but even if he escapes us now, we'll manage
+him yet."
+
+They now came to a turn in the road, and found themselves at a bridge, a
+little beyond which two roads met. On approaching, they observed an old
+woman sitting on a large stone that lay a little beyond the arch. She
+was meagrely and poorly dressed, had no cap on, her gray locks were only
+bound by a red ribbon that encircled her head, but did not confine her
+hair, which floated in large masses about her shoulders, a circumstance
+that added to the startling vehemence of character that appeared in
+her face, and gave to her whole person an expression which could not be
+overlooked. When they had come up to where she sat, and were about to
+pass without further notice, she started up, and with steps surprisingly
+rapid, and full of energy, seized upon. Phil's bridle.
+
+"Well!" she exclaimed, "I saw you going, and I see you coming, but you
+cannot tell me that he is dead. No, the death damp of his blaspheming
+carcase is not yet on the air, because if it was," and she turned her
+nose against the wind, like a hound, "I would snuff it. No, no; he
+is not gone, but he will soon go, and what a catalogue of crimes will
+follow after him! The man's conscience is a gaol where every thought and
+wish of his guilty life and godless heart is a felon; and the blackest
+calendar that ever was spread before God was his. Oh! I wonder do the
+chains in his conscience rattle? they do, but his ears are deaf, and he
+doesn't hear them; but he will, and feel them too, yet."
+
+Phil, who had got alarmed at the extraordinary energy of her manner,
+as well as of her language, said, "what do you want, and who are you
+speaking of?"
+
+"Who am I speaking of? who should I be speaking of but of old Deaker,
+the blasphemer?--and who am I speaking to but the son of the ungodly
+villain who threatened to horsewhip the mother that bore him. Do you
+know me now?"
+
+"Let go my bridle," exclaimed Phil, "let go my bridle, you old faggot,
+or upon my honor and soul I'll give you a cut of my whip."
+
+"No," she replied, no whit daunted, "no, I'm near my eightieth year. I'm
+old, and wrinkled, and gray--my memory forgets everything now but my own
+crimes, and the crimes of those that are still worse than myself--old I
+am, and wicked, and unrepenting--but I shall yet live to pour the curses
+that rise out of an ill-spent life into his dying oar, until his very
+soul will feel the scorches of perdition before its everlasting tortures
+come upon it in hell. I am old," she proceeded, "but I will yet live
+to see the son that cursed his mother, and threatened to raise his
+sacrilegious hand against her that bore him, laid down like a tree,
+rooted up and lopped--lying like a rotten log, without sap, without
+strength, and only fit to be cut up and cast into the fire. I am old,"
+she replied, "but I shall live to see out the guilty race of you all."
+
+"Go to the devil, you croaking old vagabond," exclaimed Phil, raising
+his whip, and letting it fall upon her almost naked shoulders, with a
+force as unmanly, as it was cruel, and impious, and shocking.
+
+She uttered a scream of anguish, and writhed several times, until her
+eyes became filled with tears. "My cup is not full yet," she exclaimed,
+sobbing, "neither is yours, but it soon will be, you knew me well when
+you gave that blow; but go now, and see how you'll prosper after it."
+
+Sharpe, even Sharpe, felt shocked at the cowardly spirit which could
+inflict such an outrage upon old age, under any circumstances; but much
+less under those which even he understood so well.
+
+"Captain," said he, "if it was only for the credit of the Castle Cumber
+cavalry, I'm sorry that you gave that blow; those men on the other side
+of the road there were looking at you, and you may take my word it will
+spread."
+
+"How dare you speak to me in that style?" asked Phil in a rage, and
+availing himself of his authority over him, "what is it your business,
+Sharpe? Sharpe, you're a scoundrel, for speaking to me in this
+style--damn my honor and blood, but you are. What do you know about that
+old vagabond?"
+
+"Captain," said Sharpe, who was a sturdy fellow in his way, "I'm no
+scoundrel; and I do know that you have just horsewhipped your notorious
+ould grandmother."
+
+"Fall back," said Phil, "and consider yourself arrested."
+
+"Arrest and be hanged," replied Sharpe, "I don't care a fig about you--I
+was in Deaker's corps this many a year, and if you attempt to come the
+officer over me, let me tell you you're mistaken. We're not on duty now,
+my buck, and you have no more authority over me than you have over the
+devil--me a scoundrel! my good fellow, I know who is the scoundrel."
+
+"My good fellow! Damn my honor and blood, do you apply that to me?"
+
+"No, I don't," said Sharpe, "for you're a cursed bad fellow, and no
+gentleman--didn't Harman pull your nose in Castle Cumber, and you
+wanted the courage then that you had for your ould grandmother--me, a
+scoundrel!"
+
+"I'll tell you what, Sharpe; is this respect, sir, to your commanding
+officer? Sharpe I'll mark you out for this."
+
+"Don't you know," replied Sharpe, "that two of us c&n play at that game;
+you had better keep yourself quiet, if you're wise--a man that's in the
+habit of getting his nose pulled should be very inoffensive."
+
+"Very well," said gallant Phil, "I'll say no more, but--" He then put
+spurs to handsome Harry, and rode off, full of vengeance against Sharpe,
+and of indignation at the contumelious reception he experienced at the
+hands of his grandfather.
+
+Val's letter to M'Slime was, as our readers know, anything but an index
+to the state of regard in which he held that worthy gentleman. As we
+said, however, that ground was beginning to break a little under his
+feet, in spite of all his unction and Christian charity, we shall, while
+Darby is on his way to deliver his letter, take that opportunity of
+detailing a conversation between honest Solomon and Poll Doolin, upon
+one or two topics connected with our tale.
+
+"Sam," said Solomon to his clerk, "you were not present with us at
+prayer this morning! You know we do not join in family worship until
+you come; and it is but our duty to take an interest in your spiritual
+welfare. In the meantime, I should regret, for your own sake, that
+anything in the shape of a falling away from your opportunities should
+appear in you. I speak now as your friend, Sam, not as your master--nay,
+rather as your brother, Sam--as a man who is not without his own
+lapses and infirmities, but who still trusts--though not by his own
+strength--that he may be looked upon, in some faint degree, as an
+example of what a man, wrestling with the cares and trials of life,
+ought at, least, to strive to be. To Him be the praise!"
+
+"I certainly overslept myself this morning, sir--that is the truth."
+
+"Yes, Sam; sloth is one of the disguises under which the enemy often
+assails and overcomes us. But to business, Sam. There is an old woman in
+Castle Cumber, whose name I scarcely remember. She goes dressed in faded
+black, and has a son, to whom, for wise purposes of course, it pleased
+Him to deny a full measure of ordinary sense?"
+
+"Poll Doolin, sir, the old child-cadger, and her foolish son, Raymond of
+the hats."
+
+"Don't say foolish, Sam; don't say foolish--we know not well what the
+true difference between wisdom and folly is, nor how much wisdom is
+manifested in the peculiar state of this person. We know not, indeed,
+whether what we blindly, perhaps, term folly, may not be a gift to
+be thankful for. You know the Word says, that the wisdom of man is
+foolishness before God. Our duty therefore is, to be thankful and
+humble."
+
+"Well, sir; but about Poll Doolin, the child-cadger?"
+
+"Child-cadger! that is a term I don't understand, Sam."
+
+"Why, sir, it means a woman who carries--"
+
+"Sam, hold; if it be associated with human frailty, it is best left
+unspoken. The woman, however, be she what she may--and I know not what
+she is--but that she is a responsible being--a partaker of our common
+nature, and is entitled to our sympathy. She is, I understand, in some
+difficulty, out of which, it seems, professional advice may help to take
+her. I expect her, therefore, about this time; and will you, Samuel,
+just stand at that window, and when you see her approach the house,
+do just, quietly, and without noise, open the hall door. Something has
+occurred to discompose the Christian tone which usually prevails in our
+household; and poor Susanna is going. But, at all events, Sam, you are
+aware, it is said, that we ought not to let our left hand know what our
+right hand doeth."
+
+"I know the text, sir, well; it ends with--'and he that giveth in
+secret, will reward thee openly.'"
+
+"He--hem--ahem! yes it does so end; heigho! I feel, Sam, slightly
+depressed in spirit, as it were, and moved, as if somewhat of my usual
+support were withdrawn from me."
+
+"Here she is, sir," said Sam.
+
+"Very well, Sam; please to let her in as quietly as may be, and then
+take this declaration to the back office, and copy it as soon as you
+can--it is of importance. We should always endeavor to render services
+to our fellow creatures."
+
+In the mean time, Sam very softly opened the hall door, and the next
+moment Poll entered.
+
+Solomon, as usual, was certainly seated at his office, and held his
+features composed and serious to a degree; still, in spite of everything
+he could do, there was an expression half of embarrassment, and half
+of the very slightest perceptible tendency to a waggish simile, we can
+scarcely call it--but, whatever it might be, there it certainly was,
+betraying to Poll, in spite of all his efforts, that there was still the
+least tincture imaginable of human frailty associated with such a vast
+mass of sanctity.
+
+Polly, when she entered, took a seat, and loosening the strings of her
+bonnet, raised it a little, and without uttering a word sat silently
+looking in M'Slime's face, with a very comic and significant expression
+on her own.
+
+"No, Polly," said he, with a serious smile, "no, you are mistaken
+indeed--frail we all are, I grant you; but in this case am acting for
+another. No, no, Polly--I trust those days of vanity are gone."
+
+"Well, then, what else am I to do? I sent the reports abroad about
+M'Loughlin and Harman's being about to break; and of M'Loughlin I'll
+soon have my revenge, by the way--I and somebody else have the train
+laid for it."
+
+"Polly, it was from no unchristian spirit of ill-will to them--for I
+trust that of such a spirit I am incapable--but to prevent them, by
+an unjust act, from injuring, perhaps from ruining others. That is my
+motive; but, at the same time, the whole matter is understood to be
+strictly confidential between you and me."
+
+"Don't you know, Mr. M'Slime, that when there was an occasion for
+trustin' me, I didn't betray you to the world?"
+
+"No--you did not; and it is for that reason that I trust you now."
+
+"Ay, and you may, too; honor bright is my motive. You remember the
+day you passed Darby O'Drive and me, on our way to M'Clutchy's? Did I
+pretend to know you then?"
+
+"You acted then, Poll, with great and commendable discretion, which you
+will please to remember I did not overlook."
+
+"No," said Poll, "you behaved decently enough."
+
+"But observe me now, Poll; if this report concerning the firm of
+M'Loughlin and Harman should by any possibility be traced to us, or
+rather to yourself, and that you should be pressed to disclose it,
+which, of course, you could not be; but if a weak moment should ever
+come--it is best then to speak the truth, and put the saddle as they
+rather profanely say, upon Valentine M'Clutchy, the right horse here."
+
+"Upon M'Clutchy! why bad as he is, he never opened his lips to me on
+this subject."
+
+"But he did to me, Poll, because it was from him I first heard the
+suggestion; so that in point of truth and justice, you are bound by your
+own conscience, or you ought at least--to lay it at his door--and that
+now you understand better"--he smiled a little as he uttered these
+words--"But why don't you get a better bonnet, that one is very shabby?"
+
+"It's aisier said than done," replied Poll, "the poor must always look
+poor, and will too."
+
+"There then, are ten shillings, Poll; bestow them on that, or on any
+other purpose you prefer."
+
+"Thank you, Mr. M'Slime, troth in the little job I did for you at our
+first acquaintance I found you--any way not worse than another. Well,
+but you can't desave me now--I see it in your eye--you have something
+else to say to me."
+
+"Oh, nothing to signify. Merely a serious young person would wish to
+remove for change of air to some quiet nook until health--which, indeed,
+is the chiefest of temporal blessings, might be recovered."
+
+"Man or woman?"
+
+"A serious young woman, Poll."
+
+"I see, I see, Mr. M'Slime; I know nothing more about it."
+
+"Poll, listen--I shall no longer withhold confidence from you in
+this matter--unfortunately a member, indeed, I may say, two of our
+congregation have had a woeful fall. He ranks very high in it, and this
+is an act of the greater Christian friendship in me, inasmuch as in
+undertaking the management of this for him, I certainly run great risks
+of suffering in my own reputation. I cannot name him, for that would
+be a breach of confidence in me, but you are called upon to perform the
+duty required, and through me he shall compensate you for your trouble."
+
+"Very well," replied Poll, "it must be done--and I can tell him whoever
+he is, that he could not come to any one that understands such matters
+betther."
+
+"Good morning, Poll! Let me hear from you as soon as you can. Peace be
+with thee! but Poll, remember one thing, Harman and the M'Loughlins are
+going to America." Poll nodded significantly, but made no reply.
+
+The moment she had gone, which she did by the aid of Solomon himself,
+who opened and closed the hall door after her, with a quietness of
+manner that seemed to communicate oil to the hinges themselves, he
+touched the bell, and in due time Susanna looked in.
+
+"You rang, sir," said she.
+
+"That arrangement is made;" said he, "so far all is well, or nearly
+so--go now." Susanna immediately withdrew, the few words he said seeming
+to have diffused sunshine into a face which appeared doubly serious.
+
+When she was gone, Solomon laid his head down upon the desk before him,
+and remained in that position for some time. At length without at all
+raising it he began to play his knuckles against the lid, with a
+degree of alacrity which would not have disgraced the activity of a
+sleight-of-hand man. He at last rose, drew a long breath, and wore a
+very smiling face; but this was not all--O sanctity! O religion! Instead
+of going to his Bible, as one would imagine he ought to have done,
+instead of even taking up a psalm-book, and indulging in a spiritual
+song, he absolutely commenced whistling the Swaggering Jig, which he
+accompanied with as nimble a foot, and in as good time as if he had been
+a dancing-master all his life.
+
+"Ah," said he, "I could have done it once, and would like to do it
+still, only for this wicked and censorious world." A knock from Darby
+O'Drive recalled him to a perception of his gifts, and when Darby
+entered he looked calm and serious as usual. Little could Darby have
+imagined, although perfectly aware of M'Slime's knavery, that the pious
+little man had just concluded "a short exercise," in performing the
+Swaggering Jig. As it was, however, he found him in a state which might
+either be termed a religious meditation, or an intense application to
+business--a Bible being on the one hand, and a brief on the other; but
+to which of the two he had devoted himself, neither Darby, nor indeed
+any one else, could guess. There, however, he sat, a kind of holy link
+between the law and the gospel.
+
+When Darby entered, and delivered the letter, M'Slime on receiving it
+exclaimed, "Ah, from my excellent friend, M'Clutchy. Sit down, Darby,
+sit down, and whilst I am casting my eye over this note, do now, in
+order that we may make the most of our opportunities, do, I say, Darby,
+just read a chapter in this--" handing him over the Bible as he spoke. In
+the meantime he read as follows:--
+
+"Strictly confidential.
+
+"My Dear M'Slime:
+
+"In order that the thing may be done as much in the shape and form of
+a matter of business as possible, don't you think it would be well
+for you, as Harman's lease has expired, to send me a regular written
+proposal for it--which proposal I may be able to show in justification
+of myself, should anything unfavorable turn up afterwards. Harman's
+offer was just double yours, but that is burnt; of course you will also
+burn this when you have read it. Your offer of assistance to M'Loughlin
+was well thought of; and even if we never, I mean you, should be
+paid, you are still a gainer by two hundred pounds. Each has offered
+a thousand a piece to have the leases renewed at the present rent; you
+give five hundred, very good suppose you lose three--that is, suppose
+M'Loughlin is driven, as, please God, he shall be, to allow you to
+accept a bill for three hundred--don't you see that you are still two
+hundred in pocket; no, I am wrong, not two but seven hundred. You can
+therefore well afford to lose three by the transaction, although, as I
+have said, it is not, in point of fact, losing three, but gaining seven,
+or at least five. Phil has also sent me a written proposal, which I
+will keep, but M'Loughlin's is gone the way of Harman's, as a matter of
+prudence. As for the private consideration between us, that is only
+to be glanced at. I give you my honor that Phil has tendered me two
+hundred, which I will not take, of course, either from you or him until
+the premises are cleared of the present tenants, This must be done
+very soon, and, I think it is much to be wished that Harman, who is a
+choleric scoundrel, should be put out of the way, if possible, If he is
+transported it will save us a good deal of annoyance. I should regret
+a meeting between him and Phil very much. Phil tells me that he once
+pulled his, Harman's, nose, and it is very natural that he should bear
+him a grudge for it. There is half a year's rent due this day, and the
+term mentioned in the notice to quit, expires next week. So far,
+then, all is right; we have them in our power, and can proceed safely.
+Parliament will, it is well ascertained, be certainly dissolved about
+the end of May next, so that we must work double tides to bring in
+his Lordship. There is a devilish spirit abroad, however, which will
+occasion us much trouble; but I cannot agree with you about renewing the
+leases, notwithstanding. It is just doing by those who are obstinate and
+ill-disposed, precisely as we ought; that is, holding a whip over their
+heads, and assuring them that we shall let it fall with rigor, unless
+they are agreeable as they ought. The Hon. Richard Topertoe is in
+London, but, between you and me, it matters little where he is; you
+may judge of what an intermeddling fool he must be, when he had the
+presumption to urge his Lordship to come to his native land, and live
+on his estate. This d----d Ribbonism and outrage, in spite of all our
+efforts, are still increasing; I think, however, that I shall be able
+to make a pounce some of these days. I have my spies at work, and let me
+tell you, that talk as they may, about its treachery and rascality, the
+spy system is an admirable one; in fact, it is like a two-edged sword,
+and cuts both ways, just as you wish. If, for instance, you cannot find
+Ribbonism made to your hand, you may make it--that is, you can
+corrupt first, and betray afterwards; which, at critical moments is
+unquestionably (I say this between ourselves) a decided advantage. By
+the by, my dear Solomon, the force of religion must be singularly strong
+and impressive in your life and conduct, when you have been able so
+wholesomely to influence that rascal bailiff of ours, Darby O'Drive. I
+have seldom, indeed, never witnessed so striking a change as you have
+produced in him; to tell you the truth, I felt a little chagrined and
+jealous about it; but as he owes us a kind of divided allegiance, I must
+rest contented.
+
+"Believe me to be, my dear M'Slime,
+"Yours affectionately and faithfully,
+"Val M'Clutchy, J.P."
+
+
+To this, while Darby was tooth and nail at the Bible, Solomon wrote the
+following reply--
+
+"My Dear M'Clutchy:
+
+"I have just read your letter of this date, and agree with you in the
+necessity and propriety of my sending you a written proposal which you
+can show at a future time, in order to justify yourself should it be
+necessary so to do. I also need not say that your conduct in destroying
+the proposals of M'Loughlin and Harman was equally creditable to your
+head and heart. Prudence and discretion, my dear Val, are not virtues
+of every day occurrence, and as to giving the preference to a Christian
+friend, I do not see how a man as you are, with a strong sense of
+religion, could without injuring your conscience avoid it. What is it
+after all, my dear friend, but a spoiling of the Egyptians, as holy
+Moses did, when about to lead the children of Israel from bondage. In
+that case it was what may be termed in these our days a description of
+justifiable theft, such as many professors of the word do, in matters of
+business, feel themselves warranted even now in imitating. It requires,
+however, to be done carefully, and within the freedom of the perfect
+law; but, by no means, with a worldly or secular spirit, otherwise
+it will be deprived of that unction which renders the act a gracious
+exemplification of our Christian privileges, instead of a departure from
+rectitude, which it would be if committed by an ungodly person. These
+are distinctions, my dear friend, which I grant you is not permitted to
+many to make--only, indeed, I may humbly and fearfully say to such as
+have by long wrestling with the spirit been able to see truth, when the
+inward eye has been purged from the grossness of passion, for which
+to Him be praise and power. Amen! I herewith enclose you the proposal
+formally made, and will be ready to hand over the two hundred Christian
+manifestations of my gratitude at the proper season. As to Lord Cumber
+being a loser by the transaction, such a loss must have been, we are
+bound to hope, shaped out for him as a punishment inflicted for gracious
+purposes. It is true he is ignorant of it, and I trust he shall remain
+so; but then we know that many a blessing comes to us in deep disguise,
+and that many a dispensation which we look upon as a favor from above,
+is far from being so. If, then, it be true that this thing is vouchsafed
+to him as a hidden blessing, let us be thankful that we have been
+selected as the unworthy means through whom he is made to receive it; or
+if it comes to him as a punishment, still it is our duty to reflect that
+we are merely the instruments through whose frailties, or virtues, as
+the case may be, he is visited, and that from the beginning this and
+many other acts which a blind unenlightened world might censure, were
+ordained for us, in order that the perfect scheme of Providence might be
+fulfilled.
+
+"With respect to the spy system, I do agree with you fully. Many things
+must be done in secret, which the perversity of the world will not bear
+to hear of without committing sin. For instance, my dear Val, in sowing
+your crop of loyalty, so to speak, it might not, perhaps, be wrong--I
+am speaking, now observe, with reference to the cunning of the serpent,
+which you know we are enjoined to have, and if to have, of course to use
+when necessary; it might not, perhaps, be wrong I say, to cast a tare
+or two, if only for the purpose of employing our friends and fellow
+creatures to pull them, out again. It is as it were, giving the idle
+employment, and enabling ourselves in the mean time to gather an
+abundant harvest into our own garners.
+
+"With respect to Darby, I trust, that if my unworthy example and earnest
+precept have been successful in rescuing him from the bonds of error
+and sin--but what is still more dangerous, from the damnable thrall
+of Popery--it is not for me to vainly extol myself therefor. His
+conversion, however, will, I trust, be edifying to that interesting, but
+neglected class, the bailiffs of Ireland. With reference to them, I
+am engaged during the very few leisure hours that I can steal--so
+to speak--from my professional employment, in writing a second tract
+especially for their improvement. It will be appropriately called, _The
+Bailiff's Beacon or a Strengthener for tender Consciences_, By their
+friend and brother Christian, Solomon M'Slime, Attorney at Law.
+
+"Verily, my lines have been made to fall in pleasant places. On
+yesterday, I had the satisfaction to be appointed _soul_ agent to the
+Religious Cosmopolitan Assurance Association, being a branch of the
+Grand Junction Spiritual Railway Society for travellers to a better
+world. The salary is liberal, but the appointment--especially to a man
+of sincere principles--is full of care and responsibility. Allow me, my
+dear Val, to recommend you and your friends to purchase shares in
+the Spiritual Railway Society--it is under Him the safest of all
+associations yet established. The arrangements are admirably adapted
+for the projects in view. All the seats are delightfully soft, and as
+somnolent as church pews, to which they bear a close resemblance. The
+machine men, and all those appointed to situations on the line, are
+mostly in orders; but belong to different denominations. The scheme
+originated in Oxford, and has spread rapidly throughout the length
+and breadth of the land. Several of the stokers are bishops, and the
+reverend feeders discharge their respective duties with singular effect.
+It is hoped besides, that it may, under divine guidance, be the glorious
+means of bringing Popery within the influence of truth, whilst its
+enemies--for it has enemies--as who has not--its enemies assert that
+whether it shall take in Popery, or Popery take in it, is a matter very
+difficult to be determined.
+
+"They are also exceedingly expert at tract writing, which they perform,
+if I may say so, without boasting or vanity, very much in my own spirit.
+Poor Susanna is ailing--I mean a serious young person in our family
+who tended our little olive branches and understood my habits. She is
+leaving us, and I shall miss her, for I am one of those persons, my dear
+friend, who have a heart for--and I trust I may say, that can sympathize
+with--my fellow creatures, however humble. Do you remember that I once
+availed myself of a Christian privilege, to mention between us the
+subject of family prayer?
+
+"I remain, my dear M'Clutchy, with, may I hope, a few of the graces of
+my calling--an earnest wrestler against sin,
+
+"Solomon M'Slime."
+
+
+"Now, Darby," said he, having folded the letter enclosing his tender for
+Harman's farm, and handed, it to him, "now, that so much is despatched,
+I trust we may have a word or two upon a subject of still higher
+importance. How do you feel in a spiritual way?--Are your views as clear
+as ever?--are you supported--I mean inwardly, for that is the only true
+support after all?"
+
+"Thrath, Mr. M'Slime, I'm afeard to spake, sir, for fraid I'd say either
+more or less than the truth."
+
+"That is a good sign, Darby, but you must avoid profane swearing, which
+is a habit you contracted when in the bonds of iniquity; but you must
+reform it--or rather, grace will be given you to reform it."
+
+"I hope so," replied Darby, "and that I'll still get a clearer knowledge
+of the truth, plaise Goodness."
+
+Darby, as he uttered these words, would have given a trifle to have had
+M'Clutchy to look at. Little did Solomon suspect the truth to which his
+convert alluded.
+
+"May it in charity be granted!" exclaimed Solomon, slightly twitching up
+his eyebrows. "But, Darby, will you be properly prepared on next Sabbath
+(D.V.) to bear strong testimony against error and idolatry?"
+
+"Why, I'll do my best, sir," replied Darby, "and you know the best can
+do no more."
+
+"Well, but you can faithfully say that you are utterly free from every
+taint of Popery."
+
+"Faith, sir, I don't know that that would be altogether prudent. Did you
+never hear of the ould proverb, sir--not to throw out the dirty water
+till you get in the clane--I'm not sure that I have a sufficient grip
+of the new light yet," said Darby, falling unconsciously into his usual
+style of conversation, "but, I hope that by next Sunday, I'll be able
+to shine;--an', be me sowl, if I don't, sir, it'll be none o' my
+fawt--divil resave the purtier convert in Europe than I'll make when I
+come to know a little about it."
+
+"Darby," said Solomon, impatiently, "this is really very trying to one
+so anxious for your spiritual welfare as I am. This awful swearing--I
+really fear that some of your light has been withdrawn since our last
+interview."
+
+"Not at all unlikely," replied Darby; "but wid great submission, don't
+you think, sir, that two religions is betther than one?"
+
+"How do you mean by adverting to such an impossibility?"
+
+"Why, sir, suppose I kept the ould one, and joined this new reformation
+to it, wouldn't I have two chances instead o' one?"
+
+"Darby," said Solomon, "avoid, or rather Pray that you may be enabled
+to avoid the enemy; for I fear he is leading you into a darker error.
+I tell you--I say unto you--that you would be much better to have no
+religion than the Popish. You have reminded me of one proverb, suffer me
+to remind you of another; do you not know, to speak in a worldly figure,
+that an empty house is better than a bad tenant? why, I looked on you
+with pride, with a kind of and joy as one wilom I had wrestled for, and
+won from the enemy; but I fear you are elapsing."
+
+"I hope in God sir," very gravely, "that you and he won't have to toss
+up for me; for I feel myself sometimes one thing, and sometimes the
+other."
+
+"Ah!" replied Solomon, "I fear I must give you up, and in that case it
+will not be in my power to employ you in a very confidential matter,
+the management of which I imagined I could have entrusted to you.
+That, however, cannot be now, as no one not amply provided with strong
+religious dispositions, could be relied on in it."
+
+Darby, who, in fact, was playing M'Slime precisely as a skilful
+fisherman does his fish; who, in order to induce him the more eagerly to
+swallow the bait, pretends to withdraw it from his jaws, by which means
+it is certain to be gulped down, and the fish caught.
+
+"Ah, sir," replied Darby, "I'm greatly afeared that every person like me
+must struggle with great temptations."
+
+"That is an excellent observation," said Solomon; "and I do suppose,
+that since this desirable change took place in your heart, you must have
+been woefully beset."
+
+"Never suffered so much in my life," replied the other. "Now there's
+your two beautiful tracts, and may I never die in sin--I hope, sir,
+there's no great harm in that oath?
+
+"No great harm but you had better omit it, however--it smacks of sin and
+superstition."
+
+"Well, sir--may I never--I beg pardon--but any how, the truth is, that
+ever since I tuck to readin' them, I feel myself gettin' as dishonest as
+if the devil--"
+
+"Do not name him so, Darby--it is profane; say the enemy, or Satan, or
+the tempter."
+
+"As if the whole three o' them, then, war at my elbow. Why, for the
+last three or four days, I may say, they have cleared me out as clane
+of honesty as the black boy himself, and it is worse I am gettin'. Now,
+sir, it stands to sense, that that's temptation."
+
+"Unquestionably; and my great hope and consolation is, that you
+yourself are conscious of it. All you have to do now, is to pray
+unceasingly--wrestle in prayer, and you will ultimately triumph. Sing
+spiritual songs, too; read my tracts with attention; and, in short,
+if you resist the dev--hem--Satan, they will flee from you. Give
+that letter to Mr. M'Clutchy, and let me see you on the day after
+to-morrow--like a giant refreshed with new strength."
+
+"Well, now," said Darby, assuming a more serious look--"do you know,
+sir, that I think your words have put new strength into me. Somehow
+I feel as if there was a load removed from me. May the mother of
+heaven--hem--I do, sir; and now, as a proof of it, I wouldn't feel
+justified, sir, in leaving you, widout sayin' a word or two about the
+same M'Clutchy, who, between you and me--but I hope it won't go farther,
+sir?"
+
+"I don't think it would be permitted to me to betray confidence--I
+humbly think so. Be not afraid, but speak."
+
+"Why, sir, he has got a dirty trick of speakin' disrespectfully of you
+behind your back."
+
+"Human weakness, Darby! poor profligate man! Proceed, what does he say?"
+
+"Why, sir, if it 'ud be agreeable to you, I'd rather not be goin' over
+it."
+
+"We should know our friends from our enemies, O'Drive; but I forgive
+him, and shall earnestly pray for him this night. What did he say?"
+
+"Why he said, sir--verily, thin, I'm ashamed to say it."
+
+"Did he speak only of myself?" inquired Solomon, with something like a
+slight, but repressed appearance of alarm.
+
+"Oh, of nobody else, sir. Well, then, he said, sir--but sure I'm only
+repatin' his wicked words--he said, sir, that if you were cut up into
+the size of snipe shot, there would be as much roguery in the least
+grain of you, as would corrupt a nation of pickpockets."
+
+"Poor man! I forgive him. Do you not see me smile, Darby?"
+
+"I do, indeed, sir."
+
+"Well, that is a smile of forgiveness--of pure Christian
+forgiveness--free from the slightest taint of human infirmity. I am
+given to feel this delightful state of mind at the present moment--may
+He be praised!--proceed."
+
+"It is a blessed state, sir, and as you can bear it--and as I can trust
+you, what I could not him--I will go on:--" he said, "besides, sir, that
+your example had made the ould boy himself a worse boy now than he had
+ever been before he ever knew you I--that in temptin' you, he got new
+dodges of wickedness that he was never up to till he met you, and
+that he's now receivin' lessons from you in the shape of a convartin'
+parson."
+
+"Ah! well!--I see, I see--that is an unchristian allusion to my recent
+intercourse with the Rev. Phineas Lucre, the respected and highly
+connected rector of Castle Cumber, and his nephew, the Rev. Boanerges
+Frothwell, both of whom take a deep interest in the New Reformation
+movement which is now so graciously advancing. However, I shall pray for
+that man this night."
+
+"Sir, I feel much relieved; I'm a changed man widin these few minutes, I
+may say--but what, afther all, is aquil to a good example? I feel, sir,
+as if a strong hatred of idolaphry was comin' an me."
+
+"Idolatry, you mean, Darby?"
+
+"Yes, sir, that's what I mean."
+
+"Where is that letter of Mr. M'Clutchy's--oh, I have it. Well, Darby,"
+said M'Slime, quietly changing it for another, "here it is; now, do you
+see how I commit that letter to the flames?" placing M'Clutchy's under
+the side of a brief; "and even as the flames die away before your eyes,
+so dies away--not my resentment, Darby, for none do I entertain against
+him--but the memory of his offensive expressions."
+
+"Sir," said Darby, "this is wonderful! I often heard of religion and
+forgiveness of injuries, but antil this day I never saw them in their
+thrue colors. The day after to-morrow I'm to call, sir?"
+
+"The day after to-morrow."
+
+"Well, sir, may the Holy Virgin this day--och, indeed I do not know what
+I'm sayin' sir--Religion! well if that's not religion what is or can be?
+Good mornin' sir."
+
+"Good morning, Darby, and remember my advice--pray, sing, wrestle--peace
+be with you!"
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XI.--Darby and Solomon at Prayer
+
+--An Instance of Pure Charity---Candidates for Conversion--An
+Appropriate Confidence--The Rev. Phineas Lucre and his Curate, Mr.
+Clement--Rev. Father Roche and his Curate, Father M'Cabe.
+
+
+Darby was opening the hall-door, when, as if struck by a new train
+of thought, he again tapped at the office door, and begged pardon for
+entering.
+
+"I'm in a sweet state, sir," said he; "and would you forgive me, now
+that my heart is, full, by lookin' at such an example, if I tuck
+the liberty of axin' you to kneel down and offer a Father an' Ave
+an'--hem--och, what am I sayin'--an' offer up a wurd in saison for that
+unfortunate blaggard, M'Clutchy--any how, it'll improve myself, and
+I feel as if there was new strength put into me. Oh, the netarnal
+scoundrel! To spake the way he did of sich a man--sich a scantlin of
+grace--of--oh, then, do, sir; let us offer up one prayer for him, the
+vagabond!"
+
+The reader will perceive, however, by and by, that Darby's sudden and
+enthusiastic principle of charity towards M'Clutchy, wanted that very
+simple requisite, sincerity--a commodity, by the way, in which the
+worthy bailiff never much dealt. Indeed we may say here, that the object
+of his return was connected with anything but religion.
+
+A shade of feeling, somewhat rueful, sat on M'Slime's features, until
+he caught Darby's eye fixed upon him, when, after rebuking him for the
+terms in which he proposed the, prayer, he knelt down, and with a most
+serene smile, commenced an earnest supplication, which became still more
+vehement--then louder--bewailed his lost state--deplored his keeping
+aloof from the means of grace--feared that the example of his old, and
+sinful, and blasphemous father, and his most profligate mother, had
+rendered his heart impenetrable to all visitations of conscience or
+religion--if conscience he ever had, or religion he ever heard; both of
+which, he, the humble and sinful suppliant, doubted. What then was his
+state? Oh! how could a charitable or truly religious heart bear to think
+of it without being deeply affected"--handkerchief here applied to the
+eyes, and some sobs--a nondescript sound from Darby, accompanied by
+a most pathetic shaking of the sides--evidently as much affected as
+M'Slime.--The prayer was then wound up in a long, heavy, dolorous
+cadence, which evidently proceeded from a strong conviction that he who
+prayed was laboring against all hope and expectation that the humble
+"mean" then adopted would be attended by any gracious result--the voice
+consequently quavered off into a most dismal sound, which seemed, as
+it were, to echo back a doleful answer to their solicitations,
+and accordingly Solomon rose up with a groan that could not be
+misunderstood.
+
+"You see, O'Drive," said he, "we have received no answer--or rather
+a bad one--I fear his is a hopeless case, as, indeed, that of every
+reprobate and castaway is; and this distresses me."
+
+"Mr. M'Slime," said Darby, "will you excuse me, sir--but the thruth
+is, I never properly knew you before." These words he uttered in a low
+confidential voice, precisely such as we might suppose a man to speak
+in, who, under his circumstances, had got new convictions. "I'll appear
+next Sabbath, and what is better, I think in a few days I'll be able to
+bring three or four more along wid me."
+
+"Do you think so?" said M'Slime, a good deal elated at the thought; for
+the attorney was only playing his game, which certainly was not the case
+with the greater number of the new reformation men, who were as sincere
+in their motives as he was hypocritical in his exertions. "And what are
+their names, Darby?"
+
+"I feel, sir," replied O'Drive, "that it's my duty as a Christian,
+brought out of the land of cordage--"
+
+"Bondage, Darby."
+
+"Of bondage, to do all I can for the spread o' the gospel. Their names,"
+responded Darby, rubbing his elbow with a perplexed face; "don't you
+think sir it would be better to wait awhile, till we'd see what could be
+done with them privately?"
+
+"No, Darby, give me their names and residences, and I will see, that
+however hard the times are, they shall not at least be starved for want
+of--truth."
+
+"Well, then," said Darby, "first, there is Paudeen Rafferty, of
+Dernascobe; Paudeen, sir, is, at the present spaking, badly given to
+drink, and he swears, and fights mortially, too, the hathen; but, then,
+he's in darkness, sir, yet; and you know that the greater the sinner the
+greater the saint. If Paudeen was dacently convarted he'd make a mighty
+fine Christian no doubt. To be sure he has two wives, along wid his love
+for liquor and fightin'; but wouldn't it be a good plan to bring them
+over, too, sir; the poor lost cratures, sunk, as they are, in hathenism
+and vociferation?"
+
+"Very good, I have him down, Darby; we must struggle, however, to win
+him over and to induce him to give up his guilty connections. Are they
+young, Darby!"
+
+"Two of the best looking young women in the parish."
+
+"We must only see, then, if they can be rescued also; for that is a
+duty--a pressing duty, certainly."
+
+"But I'm afeard, sir, it 'ud take a ship load o' Scripture to convart
+the three o' them."
+
+"We shall try, however; nothing is to be despaired of under such
+circumstances, unless I am afraid the regeneration of that unhappy man
+M'Clutchy--(eyes turned up). Who next?"
+
+"Why, you may set down Harry M'Murt, of Drinnska. Harry's an unsettled
+kind of fellow, or as they call him a Rake. It would be an active
+charity to convert him--and that could convert him for he has as many
+twists in him as an eel--if it was only for the sake of gettin' him to
+spake the truth."
+
+"Who else, Darby?"
+
+"Put down Charley Casey, sir; and if you take my advice, you'll set
+in at the convarsion of him while his famine lasts--otherwise, he's a
+bitter idolapher as ever welted an Orangeman; but against that, he
+has the stomach o' three men--and the best time to come at him wid the
+gospel is the present. Bait it wid a flitch of bacon on the one side,
+and a collop o' fresh meat on the other, now before the praties comes
+in, and you're sure of him."
+
+"Any others, Dairby?--but, indeed, as far as we have gone yet, the cases
+appear to me to be difficult ones. However, there is joy in heaven,
+Darby, over one sinner--and surely the greater the sin the greater the
+joy and the triumph. Any others?"
+
+"Mark down Molly Crudden, sir--she would be a glorious catch if a word
+in saison could fasten on her. She goes by the name of Funny Eye. The
+poor woman is mother to a large family of childre, sir; and the worst of
+it is, that no two o' them goies by the same name. It would be a proud
+day that we could make sure of her, especially as Father Roche and Mr.
+M'Cabe, his curate, were obliged to give her up, and forbid her the
+parish; but Funny Eye only winks and laughs at them and the world. She's
+the last, sir--but I'll be on the look out, God willin', for a few more
+desperate cases to crown our victory over the dev--ahem! over Satan and
+the priests."
+
+"Well, then, let me see you, as I said, the day after to-morrow, and in
+the mean time--peace, and joy, and victory be with you!"
+
+"The same to you, sir, and many of them! Amin--I pray the sweet queen o'
+heaven this day!"
+
+"Darby," said M'Slime, who looked upon his mingling up religious
+expressions peculiar to his class as a proof of his sincerity--"Darby,"
+said he in a low, condensed, and collected voice--"I said I had the
+execution of a commission to entrust to you."
+
+"But, sir," said Darby, whose ears, could they have shaped themselves
+according to his wishes, would have ran into points in order to hear
+with more acuteness--"Sir," said he, "I doubt I'm not worthy of such a
+trust."
+
+"Perfectly worthy, Darby," continued Solomon, "if I did not think so I
+would not employ you--I have engaged another person to prepare, as it
+were, the way for you; but the truth is, it would never do to allow that
+person and the young person of whom you are going to take charge to
+be seen together. Evil constructions would most assuredly be put on
+innocent actions, Darby, as they often are; and for this reason it
+is that I have partly changed my mind, and will entrust one-half the
+commission I speak of to you." As if, however, he feared that the very
+walls might justify the old proverb by proving that they had ears,
+he stood up and whispered a short, but apparently most interesting
+communication to Darby, who appeared to listen to a tale that was
+calculated rather to excite admiration than any other feeling. And
+we have little doubt, indeed, that the tale in question was given as
+illustrating the exertion of as pure an instance of Christian compassion
+and benevolence as ever was manifested in the secret depths of that true
+piety which shuns the light; for Darby's journey was most assuredly to
+be made in the dark and still hours of the night. On opening the door
+a party of three or four clients were about to knock, but having given
+them admission he went away at rather a brisk, if not a hasty pace.
+
+Darby having concluded this interview was proceeding, not exactly in the
+direction of M'Clutchy's, but as the reader shall soon hear, to a very
+different person, no other than the Rev. Phineas Lucre, D.D., Rector of
+the Parish of Castle Cumber; a living at that time worth about eighteen
+hundred a year.
+
+The Rev. Phineas Lucre, then, was a portly gentleman, having a proud,
+consequential air stamped upon his broad brow and purple features.
+His wife was niece to a nobleman, through whose influence he had been
+promoted over the head of a learned and pious curate, whose junior
+Mr. Lucre had been in the ministry only about the short period of
+twenty-five years. Many persons said that the curate had been badly
+treated in this transaction, but those persons must have known that
+he had no friends except the poor and afflicted of his parish, whose
+recommendation of him to his bishop, or the minister of the day,
+would have had little weight. His domestic family, too, was large, a
+circumstance rather to his disadvantage; but he himself was of studious,
+simple, and inexpensive habits. As for dinners he gave none, except
+a few fragments of his family's scanty meal to some hungry, perhaps,
+deserted children, or to a sick laborer when abandoned by his landlord
+or employer, the moment he became unable to work. From the gentry of
+the neighborhood he got no invitations, because he would neither
+sing--dance--drink--nor countenance the profligacies of their sons--nor
+flatter the pride and vanity of their wives and daughters. For these
+reasons, and because he dared to preach home truths from his pulpit, he
+and his unpretending children had been frequently made objects of their
+ridicule and insolence. What right, then, had any one to assert that the
+Rev. Mr. Clement had received injustice by the promotion over his head
+of the Rev. Phineas Lucre, to the wealthy living of Castle Cumber,
+when he had no plausible or just grounds beyond those to which we have
+adverted, on which to rest his claim for preferment? The curate was
+pious, we admit, but, then, his wife's uncle was not a lord. He was
+learned, but, then, he had neither power nor the inclination to repay
+his patrons--supposing him to have such, by a genius for intrigue,
+or the possession of political influence. He discharged his religious
+duties as well as the health of a frame worn by affliction, toil, and
+poverty, permitted him; but, then, he wrote no pamphlets adapted to the
+politics by which he might rise in the church. He visited the sick and
+prayed with them; but he employed not his abilities in proving to the
+world that the Establishment rewarded piety and learning, rather than
+venal talents for state intrigue or family influence.
+
+Far different from him was his aforenamed rector, the Rev. Phineas
+Lucre. Though immeasurably inferior to his curate in learning, and
+all the requisite qualifications for a minister of God, yet was he
+sufficiently well read in the theology of his day, to keep up a splendid
+equipage. Without piety to God, or charity to man, he possessed,
+however, fervent attachment, to his church, and unconquerable devotion
+to his party. If he neglected the widow and the orphan whom he could
+serve, he did not neglect the great and honorable, who could serve
+himself. He was inaccessible to the poor, 'tis true; but on the other
+hand, what man exhibited such polished courtesy, and urbanity of manner,
+to the rich and exalted. Inferiors complained that he was haughty and
+insolent; yet it was well known, in the teeth of all this, that no man
+ever gave more signal proofs of humility and obedience to those who
+held patronage over him. It mattered little, therefore, that he had
+no virtues for the sick, or poverty-stricken, in private life, when he
+possessed so many excellent ones for those in whose eyes it was worth
+while to be virtuous as a public man.
+
+Mr. Lucre, possessing high political connection, and withal affecting
+to be very religious, presented singular points of character for
+observation. He was a great disciplinarian in theory, and rendered it
+imperative on his poor overworn curate to be so in practice; but being
+always engaged in the pursuit of some ecclesiastical windfall, he
+consequently spent most of his time, and of his money, either in our
+own metropolis or London--but principally in the latter. He did not,
+however, leave either his discipline or his devotion as a public
+man behind him. In Dublin, he was practical in worshipping the Lord
+Lieutenant--and in London, the King; whilst his curate was only
+worshipping God in the country. The result of his better sense and more
+seasonable piety soon became evident, on his part, in the shape of an
+appointment to a second living; and that of his curate, in obscurity,
+poverty, and that useless gift, a good conscience.
+
+We have said that Mr. Lucre was not Pious; yet we are far from saying
+that he had not all the credit of piety. His name, in fact, was always
+conspicuous among the most bountiful contributors to the religious
+societies. Indeed he looked upon most of them as excellent auxiliaries
+to the cold and scanty labors of those worldly-minded or indolent
+pastors, who think, when they have furnished every family in the parish
+with a Bible and a sheaf of tracts, that they have done their duty. Mr.
+Lucre, consequently, bore an excellent character everywhere but among
+the poor, sick, and indigent of his two large parishes; and if a
+eulogium had been called for on him, he would have received an admirable
+one from the societies to whose funds he contributed, from the gentry of
+his respective parishes, and from the grand juries of the two counties
+in which they we're situated.
+
+What more than this could be expected? Here was ample testimony for
+those who required it, to establish the zeal, efficiency, talents,
+integrity, charity and piety of that worthy and useful minister of
+God--the Rev. Phineas Lucre, D.D.
+
+Such were a few of the virtues which belonged to this gentleman. His
+claims for preferment were, indeed, peculiarly strong; and when we
+mention the political influence of himself and his friends, his wife's
+powerful connections, added to his able pamphlets, and the great mass
+of sound information regarding the state of the country, which in the
+discharge of his religious duties, he communicated from time to time to
+the government of the day--we think we have said enough to satisfy our
+readers that he ought not to be overlooked in the wealthy and pious
+Establishment, which the Irish Church then was. Still, in fact, we
+cannot stop here, for in good truth Mr. Lucre had yet stronger claims
+for preferment than any we have yet mentioned. He did not stand in need
+of it. In addition to a large dowry received with his wife, he possessed
+a private fortune of fourteen hundred pounds per annum, with which,
+joined to his two large livings, he was enabled to turn out a very
+primitive and apostolic equipage, such as would have made the hearts
+of the Apostles rejoice in reflecting, that so many new virtues were
+to spring up in the progress of society from the lowly-religion they
+established.
+
+Such is a pretty full sketch of a large class which existed at a former
+period in the Established Church of Ireland. Mr. Lucre was, besides,
+what may be termed one of the first fruits of that which is called
+modern sanctity or saintship, being about two-thirds of the Tory and
+High Churchman, and one of the Evangelical.
+
+In the same parish of Castle Cumber resided two other clergyman of
+a different creed and character; the Rev. James Roche, the venerable
+parish priest, was one of those admirable pastors whose lives are the
+most touching and beautiful exponent of the Christian faith. In this
+amiable man were combined all these primitive virtues which are so
+suitable, and, we may add, necessary, to those who are called upon to
+mingle with the cares and affections, joys and sufferings, of an humble
+people. Without pride, beyond the serene simplicity which belonged to
+his office, he yet possessed the power of engaging the affections and
+respect of all who knew him, whether high or low. With the poor, and
+those entrusted to his spiritual charge, were all his sympathies, both
+as a man and a pastor. His, indeed, was no idle charge, nor idly, nor
+with coldness or pride, were its duties entered upon or performed. His
+little purse and small means were, less his own than the property of the
+poor around him; his eye was vigilant of want and of sorrow, of crime
+and frailty--and wherever the painful rebuke, the humble and the
+consoling word was necessary, there stood he to I administer it. Such
+was Father Roche, as the pastor of a large but poor flock, who had few
+sympathies to expect, save those which this venerable man was able to
+afford them. Very different from him, on the other hand, was his
+curate, the Rev. Patrick M'Cabe, or M'Flail, as he was nicknamed by the
+Orangemen of the parish, in consequence of a very unsacerdotal tendency
+to use the horsewhip, as a last resource, especially in cases where
+reason and the influence of argument failed. He was a powerful young
+man, in point of physical strength, but as his temperament was hot and
+choleric, the consciousness of this strength often led him, under its
+impulse, in desperate cases, to a mode of reasoning, which, after
+all, no man more than himself subsequently regretted. Zealous he
+unquestionably was, but beyond the bounds prescribed by a spirit of
+Christian moderation. I know not how it happened, but the Orangeman
+hated him with an intensity of detestation, which, however, he paid back
+to them tenfold. His vast strength, which had been much improved by a
+strong relish for athletic exercises, at which he was unrivaled, when
+joined to a naturally courageous and combative temperament, often
+prompted him to manifest, in cases of self-defence, the possession
+of powers which they feared to call into exercise. This disposition,
+however, which, after all, was not so unnatural, he properly restrained
+and kept I in subjection; but, in order to compensate for it, he
+certainly did pepper them, in his polemical discourses, with a vehemence
+of abuse, which, unquestionably, they deserved at his hands--and got.
+With the exception of too much zeal in religious matters, his conduct
+was, in every other respect, correct and proper.
+
+To return now to Darby, whose steps have been directed, not exactly
+towards Constitution Cottage, but towards the spacious glebe-house of
+the Rev. Phineas Lucre, which brought him about a mile or two out of his
+way. The fact is he was beginning to tire of M'Slime, who, whenever he
+had occasion for his services, was certain to shear him of his fees
+on the one hand precisely as M'Clutchy did on the other. The change of
+agents was consequently of no advantage to him, as he had expected it
+would be; for such was the rapacity of the two harpies that each of
+them took as much as they could out of the unfortunate tenants, and left
+Darby little to comfort himself, with the exception of what he got
+by their virtuous example, an example which he was exceedingly apt to
+follow, if not to exceed. For this reason he detested them both, and
+consequently felt a natural anxiety to set them together by the ears
+whenever he thought the proper occasion for it should arrive. Now, an
+event had taken place the very day before this, which opened up to his
+mind a new plan of operations altogether. This was the death of the
+under gaoler of Castle Cumber. Darby began to think of this as a good
+speculation, should it succeed; but alas! upon second reflection there
+stood an insurmountable difficulty in his way. He was a Roman Catholic
+so far as he was anything; and this being a situation of too much trust
+and confidence at the period to be given to any one of that persuasion,
+he knew he he could not obtain it. Well, but here again he was
+fortunate, and not without the prospect of some consolation. The
+extraordinary movement in the religious world, called the New
+Reformation, had just then set in with a liveliness of judgment, and a
+celerity of conversion among the lower classes of Roman Catholics, which
+scarcely anybody could understand. The saints, however, or evangelical
+party, headed by an amiable, benevolent, but somewhat credulous
+nobleman, on whose property the movement first commenced, ascribed this
+extraordinary conversion altogether to themselves.
+
+The season to be sure in which it occurred was one of unprecedented
+destitution and famine. Fuel was both scarce and bad--the preceding
+crops had failed, and food was not only of a deleterious quality, but
+scarcely to be procured at all. The winter, too, was wet and stormy, and
+the deluges of rain daily and incessant. In fact, cold, and nakedness,
+and hunger met together in almost every house and every cabin, with the
+exception of those of the farmers alone, who, by the way, mostly held
+land upon a very small scale. In this district, then, and in such a
+period of calamity, and misery, and utter famine, did the movement
+called the New Reformation originate.
+
+"Sure, blood alive," thought Darby, "now that every one's turnin',
+there's no harm to have a thrial at it myself; I can become as good a
+Prodestan as most o' them in four and twenty hours, and stand a chance
+of the Jaolership for my pains. I'll go to Mr. Lucre, who is a gentleman
+at any rate, and allow him to think he has the convartin' o' me. Well,"
+he proceeded, with a chuckle, "it's one comfort, divil a much religion
+I have to lose; and another, that the divil a much I have to gain in
+exchange; and now," he went on, "there's little Solomon thinks I did'nt
+see him burnin' the wrong letther; but faith, Solomon, my lad, there
+must be something in it that would do neither you nor M'Clutchy much
+good, if it was known, or you wouldn't thry that trick--but, in the mean
+time, I've secured them both."
+
+Now, the reader must know, that Darby's return in such a truly
+charitable spirit to ask Solomon for the virtue of his prayers in behalf
+of M'Clutchy, was as knavish a ruse as ever was put in practice. Solomon
+had placed M'Clutchy's letter secretly under a brief, as we have said,
+and Darby, who knew the identical spot and position in which M'Slime was
+in the habit of praying, knew also that he would kneel with his back to
+the desk on which the brief lay. It all happened precisely as he wished,
+and, accordingly, while Solomon was doing the hypocrite, Darby did the
+thief, and having let in those who were approaching, he came away, as we
+said.
+
+He lost not a moment after he had got to a lonely part of the road,
+in putting them between two flat stones--we mean M'Clutchy's letter to
+Solomon, with that gentleman's answer. There, he determined, they should
+remain until after dark, when he could secure both without risk, and see
+what might be done with them.
+
+"Now," thought he, "that I've Solomon in a double pickle--for he can't
+inquire about the letter without letting it be seen that he tould a
+lie, and practised a bit of knavery, any how--an' as regwdin' the other
+thing, I have him fast."
+
+In the meantime, Father M'Cabe, who had read M'Slime's paragraph in the
+Castle Cumber "True Blue," respecting Darby's conversion, had a sharp
+eye out for him, as they term it in the country. Indeed, after two or
+three vain attempts to see him, the Rev. gentleman was satisfied with
+sending him a gentle message of congratulation upon his change of
+creed, which was significantly wound up by a slight hint, that he might,
+probably, on their next meeting, give him a nice treat, but of what
+particular description was not communicated. Darby having secured the
+letters as described, was proceeding at a pretty quick pace towards Mr.
+Lucre's, when, whom should he meet in a narrow part of the way, which
+was enclosed between two immense white thorn hedges, through which any
+notion of escape was impracticable--but the Rev. Father M'Cabe. He
+tried every shift--looked back as if he expected some friend to follow
+him--then to the right--again to the left--then stooped to examine the
+ground, as if he had lost something of value or importance. At length,
+finding every other trick useless, he adopted that one so common among
+boys in desperate cases--we mean the attempt to make a mask of the right
+shoulder in order to conceal the face. Even this failed, and he found
+himself compelled to meet the fixed and stern gaze of the colossal
+priest, who was on horseback, and bore in his huge right hand a whip,
+that might, so gripped, have tamed a buffalo, or the centaur himself, if
+he were not fabulous.
+
+"Why--my good, honest and most religious friend, Mr. Darby O'Drive--the
+odor of whose sanctity, you scoundrel, has already perfumed the whole
+Parish--is it possible that Providence in kindness to me, and in pure
+justice to yourself, has thrown you into my way at last." This for the
+present was accompanied only by a peculiar quivering motion of the whip,
+resulting from the quick vibrations which his sense of Darby's hypocrisy
+had communicated through the hand to the weapon which it held.
+
+"God save your Reverence!" replied Darby, "an' in troth I'm glad to
+see you look so well--faith it's in a glow o' health you are, may God
+continue it to you! Be my sowl, it's you that can pepper the Orangemen,
+any how, your Reverence--and how is Father Roche, sir--although sure
+enough he's no match for you in givin' it home to the thieves."
+
+"Silence, you hypocritical sleeveen, don't think you'll crawl up my
+wrist--as you do up M'Clutchy's and M'Slime's. Is it true that you have
+become an apostate?"
+
+Darby here attempted to work up a kind of sly significant wheedling
+expression into his eye, as he stole a half timid, half confidant glance
+at the priest--but it would not do--the effort was a failure, and no
+wonder--for there before him sat the terrible catechist like an embodied
+thunder cloud--red, lurid, and ready to explode before him--nay he could
+see the very lightning playing and scintillating in his eyes, just as
+it often does about the cloud before the bursting of the peal. In this
+instance there was neither sympathy nor community of feeling between
+them, and Darby found that no meditated exposition of pious fraud,
+such as "quartering on the enemy," or "doing the thieves," or any other
+interested ruse, had the slightest chance of being tolerated by the
+uncompromising curate. The consequence was, that the rising roguery died
+away from Darby's face, on which there remained nothing but a blank
+and baffled expression, that gave strong assurance of his being in a
+situation of great perplexity. The most timid and cowardly animals will,
+however, sometimes turn upon their captors, and Darby although he
+felt no disposition to bandy words with the curate, resolved,
+notwithstanding, to abide by the new creed, until he should be able
+to ascertain his chance of the gaolership. There was, besides, another
+motive. He knew Mr. Lucre's character so well, that he determined to
+pursue such a course, during his interview, as might ensure him a sound
+horse-whipping; for it occurred to him that a bit of martyrdom would
+make a capital opening argument during his first interview with Mr.
+Lucre.
+
+"Did you hear me, sir?" again inquired the curate, making his whip
+whistle past his own right foot, just as if he had aimed it at the
+stirrup--"is it true that you have turned apostate?"
+
+"I thought you knew it, sir," said Darby, "or if you didn't, why did you
+read me out the Sunday before last from the althar?"
+
+"Then you acknowledge it," cried the priest, "you have the brass to
+acknowledge it, have you?" And here the whip made a most ferocious sweep
+in the air.
+
+"Yes," replied Darby, thinking by the admission to increase the
+impending castigation--"yes, sir; I don't belong to your flock now--you
+have no authority whatsomever over me--mind that."
+
+[Illustration: PAGE 216-- Oh, what a sweet convert you are]
+
+"Haven't I indeed, Mr. Convert--oh, what a sweet convert you are--but
+we'll see whether I have or not, by and by. Where are you bound for now?
+To taste of Mr. Lucre's flesh pots? eh?"
+
+"I'm bound for Mr. Lucre's, sure enough; and I hope there's no great
+harm in that."
+
+"Oh, none in the world, my worthy neophyte, none. Mr. Lucre's argument
+and Lord ----'s bacon are very powerful during this hard season. Those
+that haven't a stitch to their backs are clothed--those that haven't a
+morsel to eat are fed--and if they haven't a fire, they get plenty of
+fuel to burn their apostate skins at; and because this heretical crew
+avail themselves of the destitution of these wretches--and lure them
+from their own faith by a blanket and a flitch of bacon, they call that
+conversion--the new Reformation by the way, ha--ha--ha--oh, it's too
+good!"
+
+"And do you think, sir," said Darby, "that if they had a hard or an
+enlightened hoult of their own creed, that that would do it?"
+
+The whip here described a circle, one part of whose circumference sang
+within a few inches of Darby's ear--who, forgetting his relish for
+martyrdom, drew back his head to avoid it.
+
+"None of your back jaw," said M'Cabe; "don't you know, sirra, that in
+spite of this Methodist Lord and the proud parson's temptations, you
+are commanded to renounce the devil, the world, and the flesh? Don't you
+know that?"
+
+"But," replied Darby, "are we commanded to renounce the devil, the
+world, and a bit o' fresh mait?"
+
+"Ha--you snivelling scoundrel," said the curate, "you've got their
+arguments already I see--but I know how to take them out of you, before
+you leave my hands."
+
+"Surely," continued Darby, "you wouldn't have a naked man renounce a
+warm pair o' breeches, or a good coat to his back--does the Scriptur
+forbid him that?"
+
+"You will have it," replied the curate, who felt for the moment
+astounded at Darby's, audacity, "you are determined on it; but I will
+have patience with you yet, a little, till I see what brought you over,
+if I can. Don't you admit, as I said, that you are commanded to renounce
+the devil, the world, and the flesh--particularly the flesh, sirra, for
+there's a peculiar stress laid upon that in the Greek."
+
+"Well, but does it go in the Greek against a flitch o' bacon and a wisp
+o' greens, your reverence? Faith, beggin' your pardon, if you were to
+see some o' the new convarts, how comfortable they are wid their good
+frieze coats, and their new warm blankets, sittin' beside their good
+fires, you'd maybe not blame them so much as you do. Your religion, sir,
+only provides for the sowl; but theirs, you see, provides any how for
+the body--and faith, I say, the last is a great advantage in these hard
+times."
+
+The priest's astonishment increased at the boldness with which Darby
+continued the argument, or rather, which prompted him to argue at all.
+He looked at him, and gave a smile.
+
+"Well," said he, almost forgetting his anger--for he was by no means
+deficient in a perception of the humorous--"but no matter--it will do
+by and by. You villain," said he, forced into the comic spirit of the
+argument; "do you not know that it said--cursed is he who becometh an
+apostate, and eateth the flesh of heretics."
+
+"Aitin' the flesh of heretics is forbidden, I dare say, sure enough,"
+replied Darby; "an' troth it's a commandment not likely to be
+broken--for dirty morsels they are, God knows; but is there anything
+said against aitin' the flesh of their sheep or cows--or that forbids us
+to have a touch at a good fat goose, or a turkey, or any harmless little
+trifle o' the kind? Troth myself never thought, sir, that beef or mutton
+was of any particular religion before."
+
+"Yes, sir; beef and mutton, when they're good, are Catholic--but when
+they're lean, why, like a bad Christian, they're Protestant, of course,
+and that's well known," said the priest, still amused, against his will,
+by Darby's arguments.
+
+"Faith, and wid great respect, the same is but a poor argument for your
+own--hem--I mane, sir, for your church; for if the best beef and mutton
+be of the thrue religion, the Protestants have it all to nothing.
+There, they're infallible, and no mistake. The fat o' the land, your
+reverence," said Darby, with a wink; "don't you understand? They've got
+that any how."
+
+A slight cut of the whip across the shoulders made him jump and rub
+himself, whilst the priest, struck with his utter want of principle,
+exclaimed.
+
+"You double-dealing scoundrel, how dare you wink at me, as if we felt
+anything in common?"
+
+The blow occasioned Darby's gorge to rise; for like every other knave,
+when conscious of his own dishonesty, and its detection, he felt his bad
+passions overpower him.
+
+"You must," said the priest, whose anger was now excited by his
+extraordinary assurance--"you must renounce their religion, you must
+renounce M'Slime and Lucre--their flitches, flannels, and friezes. You
+must--"
+
+"Beggin' your pardon," said Darby, "I never received any of their
+flitches or their flannels. I don't stand in need of them--it's an
+enlightened independent convart I am."
+
+"Well, then," continued the priest, "you must burn their tracts and
+their treatises, their books and Bibles of every description, and return
+to your own church."
+
+"To become acquainted," replied Darby, "with that piece o' doctrine
+in your hand there? Faith and I feel the truth o' that as it is, your
+reverence; and it is yourself that can bring it home to one. But, why,
+wid submission, don't you imitate Father Roche? By me sowl, I tell you
+to your face, that so long; as you take your divinity from the saddler's
+shop, so long you will have obedient men, but indifferent Catholics."
+
+"What!" replied M'Cabe, in a rage, "do you dare to use such language to
+my face--a reprobate--a brazen contumacious apostate! I've had this
+in for you; and now (here he gave him a round half dozen) go off to
+M'Slime, and Lucre, and Lord------, and when you see them, tell them
+from me, that if they don't give up perverting my flock, I'll give them
+enough of their own game."
+
+Darby's face got pale, with a most deadly expression of rage--an
+expression, indeed, so very different from that cringing, creeping one
+which it usually wore, that M'Cabe, on looking at him, felt startled, if
+not awed, intrepid and exasperated as he was. Darby stood and looked at
+him coldly, but, at the same time, with unflinching fearlessness in the
+face.
+
+"You have done it," he said, "and I knew you would. Now, listen to
+me--are you not as aiger to make convarts as either M'Slime or Lucre?"
+
+"You will have it again, you scoundrel," said the curate, approaching
+him with uplifted whip.
+
+"Stand back," said Darby, "I've jist got all I wanted--stand back, or by
+all the vestments ever you wore, if your whip only touches my body,
+as light as if it wouldn't bend a feather, I'll have you in heaven, or
+purgatory, before you can cry 'God forgive me.'"
+
+The other still advanced, and was about to let the whip fall, when Darby
+stretched his right hand before him, holding a cocked and loaded pistol
+presented to the curate's breast.
+
+"Now," said he, "let your whip fall if you like; but if you do, I'll
+lodge this bullet," touching the pistol with his left forefinger, "in
+your heart, and your last mass is said. You blame Lucre and M'Slime for
+making convarts; but ai'en't you every bit as anxious to bring over
+the Protestants as they are to bring over us? Aren't you paradin' them
+Sunday af'ther Sunday, and boastin' that you are takin' more from the
+heretics than they are takin' from you? Wasn't your last convart Bob
+Beatty, that you brought over because he had the fallin' sickness, and
+you left it upon him never to enter a church door, or taste bacon; and
+now you have him that was a rank Orangeman and a blood-hound six weeks
+ago, a sound Catholic to-day? Why, your reverence, with regard to
+convart makin' divil the laist taste o' differ I see between you on
+either side, only that they are able to give betther value in this world
+for the change than you are--that's all. You're surprised at seeing my
+pistols, but of late I don't go any where unprovided; for, to tell you
+the thruth, either as a bailiff or a convart, it's not likely I'd be
+safe widout them; and I think that yourself are a very good proof of
+it."
+
+"Very well, my good, fine, pious convart; I'll keep my eye on you. I
+understand your piety."
+
+"And I can tell you, my good, meek, pious priest, I'll keep mine on you;
+and now pass on, if you're wise--and so _bannath lath_."
+
+Each then passed on, pursuing his respective destination. They had
+not gone far, however, when both chanced to look back at the same
+moment--M'Cabe shook his whip, with a frown, at Darby, who, on the
+other side, significantly touched the pocket in which he carried his
+fire-arms, and nodded his head in return.
+
+Now, it is an undeniable fact, that characters similar to that of Darby,
+were too common in the country; and, indeed, it is to be regretted that
+they were employed at all, inasmuch as the insolence of their conduct,
+on the one hand, did nearly as much harm as the neglect of the
+hard-hearted landlord himself, on the other. Be this as it may, however,
+we are bound to say that Darby deserved much more at M'Cabe's hands than
+either that Rev. gentleman was aware of then, or our readers now. The
+truth was, that no sooner had M'Slime's paragraph touching Darby's
+conversion gone abroad, than he became highly unpopular among the
+Catholics of the parish. Father M'Cabe, in consequence of Darby's
+conduct, and taking him as a specimen, uttered some lively prophecies,
+touching' the ultimate fate of the new Reformation. He even admonished
+his flock against Darby:--
+
+"I have warned you all now," he said, "and if after this I hear of a
+single perversion, woe be unto that pervert, for it is better for his
+miserable soul that he had never been born. Is there a man here base
+enough to sell his birthright for a mess of Mr. Lucre's pottage? Is
+there a man here, who is not too strongly imbued with a hatred of
+heresy, to laugh to scorn their bribes and their Bibles. Not a man, or,
+if there is, let him go out from amongst us, in order that we may know
+him--that we may avoid his outgoings and his incomings--that we may flee
+from him as a pestilence--a plague--a famine. No, there is none here so
+base and unprincipled as all that--and I here prophesy that from this
+day forth, this Reformation has got its death-blow--and that time will
+prove it. Now, remember, I warn you against their arts, their bribes,
+and their temptations--and if, as I said, any one of this flock shall
+prove so wicked as to join them--then, I say again, better for his
+unfortunate soul that he had never come into existence, than to come in
+contact with this leprous and polluted heresy."
+
+Darby having heard--for he never went to mass--that he was denounced by
+the priest, and feeling that his carrying into execution the heartless
+and oppressive proceedings of M'Clutchy had, taken together, certainly
+made him as unpopular a man as any individual of his contemptible
+standing in life could be, resolved, in the first place, to carry arms
+for his own protection, and, in the next, to take a step which he
+knew would vex the curate sorely. Accordingly, he lost no time in
+circulating, and having it circulated by others, that the great
+Reformation Society would give, in a private way, five guineas a head
+to every convert, taking them either by the individual or the family,
+although the conversion of the latter, he said, was far more coveted
+than even a greater number of individuals, when they were not bound by
+the same ties of blood, inasmuch, as the bringing them over by families
+was an outpouring of grace which could not be withstood. The consequence
+was, that all the profligate and unprincipled who had cold, and
+nakedness, and famine, in addition to their own utter want of all moral
+feeling to stimulate them, looked upon the new Reformation and its
+liberal promises as a complete windfall blown into their way by some
+unexpected piece of good fortune. Five guineas a head! And all for only
+going to church, and gaining for ever more the heart and affections of
+the good and kind Lord ------. There was also another class, the simple
+and honest poor, who had no other way of avoiding all the rigors and
+privations of that terrible season, than a painful compliance with the
+only principle which could rescue themselves and their children, from a
+state of things worse than death itself--and which might probably have
+terminated in death--we mean the principle of the new Reformation. There
+was, still, a third class--which consisted of a set of thorough Irish
+wags, who looked upon the whole thing as an excellent joke--and who,
+while they had not a rag to their backs, nor a morsel for their mouths,
+enjoyed the whole ceremony of reading their recantation, renouncing
+Popery, and all that, as a capital spree while it lasted, and a thing
+that ought by all means to be encouraged, until better times came.
+
+In vain, therefore, did Father M'Cabe denounce and prophesy--in vain did
+he launch all the dogmas of the church--in vain did he warn, lecture,
+and threaten--Darby's private hint had gone abroad precisely a day
+or two before their encounter, and the consequence was what might be
+expected. Darby, in fact, overreached him, a circumstance of which, at
+the period of their meeting, he was ignorant; but he had just learned
+how "the word," as it was called, had spread, in so extraordinary a
+manner, maugre all his opposition a short time before they met; and our
+readers need not feel surprised at the tone and temper with which, after
+having heard such intelligence, he addressed Darby, nor at the treatment
+which that worthy personage received at his hands. Had he known that it
+was Darby's "word" which in point of fact had occasioned "the spread"
+we speak of, he would have made that worthy missionary exhibit a much
+greater degree of alacrity than he did.
+
+Before Darby arrives at Mr. Lucre's, however, we must take the liberty
+of anticipating him a little, in order to be present at a conversation
+which occurred on this very subject between the worthy Rector and the
+Rev. Mr. Clement, his curate. Mr. Clement, like the pious and excellent
+Father Roche, was one of those clergymen who feel that these unbecoming
+and useless exhibitions, called religious discussions, instead of
+promoting a liberal or enlarged view of religion, are only calculated to
+envenom the feelings, to extinguish charity, and to contract the
+heart. Nay, more, there never was a discussion, they said--and we join
+them--since the days of Ussher and the Jesuit, that did not terminate in
+a tumult of angry and unchristian recrimination, in which all the common
+courtesies of life, not to mention the professed duties of Christian
+men, were trampled on, and violated without scruple. In the preparations
+for the forthcoming discussion, therefore, neither of these worthy men
+took any part whatsoever. The severe duties of so large a parish, the
+calls of the sick, the poor, and the dying, together with the varied
+phases of human misery that pressed upon their notice as they toiled
+through the obscure and neglected paths of life, all in their opinion,
+and, in ours, too, constituted a sufficiently ample code of duty,
+without embroiling themselves in these loud and turbulent encounters.
+
+Mr. Clement, who, on this same day, had received a message from Mr.
+Lucre, found that gentleman in remarkably good spirits. He had just
+received a present of a fine haunch of venison from a fox-hunting
+nobleman in the neighborhood, and was gloating over it, ere its descent
+into the larder, with the ruddy fire of epicurism blazing in his eyes.
+"Clement," said he, with a grave, subdued grunt of enjoyment, "come this
+way--turn up the venison, Francis--eh, what say you now, Clement? Look
+at the depth of the fat!--what a prime fellow that was!--see the flank
+he had!--six inches on the ribs at, least! As our countryman, Goldsmith,
+says, 'the lean was so white, and the fat was so ruddy.'"
+
+Clement had often before witnessed this hot spirit of luxury, which
+becomes doubly carnal and gross in a minister of God. On this occasion
+he did not even smile, but replied gravely, "I am not a judge of
+venison, Mr. Lucre; but, I believe you have misquoted the poet, who, I
+think, says, 'the fat was so white, and the lean was so ruddy.'"
+
+"Well, that's not much, Clement; but, if you were a judge, this would
+both delight and astonish you. Now, Francis, I charge you, as you value
+your place, your reputation, your future welfare, to be cautious
+in dressing it. You know how I wish it done, and, besides, Lord
+Mountmorgage, Sir Harry Beevor, Lord ------, and a few clerical friends,
+are to dine with me. Come in Clement--Francis, you have heard what
+I said! If that haunch is spoiled, I shall discharge you without a
+character most positively, so look to it."
+
+When they entered the library, the table of which was covered with
+religious magazines, missionary papers, and reports of religious
+societies, both at home and abroad, Mr. Lucre, after throwing himself
+into a rich cushioned arm-chair, motioned to his curate to take a seat.
+
+"I have sent for you, Clement," said he, "to have your advice and
+assistance on a subject, in which, I feel confident, that as a sincere
+and zealous Protestant, you will take a warm interest. You have heard of
+the establishment of our New Reformation Society, of course."
+
+"I believe it is pretty generally known," replied Clement.
+
+"It is now," replied Lucre; "but our objects are admirable. We propose
+to carry controversy into all the strongholds of Popery--to enlighten
+both priest and people, and, if possible, to transfer the whole Popish
+population--_per satiram_--by the lump, as it were--"
+
+"_Per saturum_, I believe," observed Clement, bowing, "if I may take the
+liberty."
+
+"Sati, satu--well, you may be right; my memory, Clement, retains large
+passages best, and ever did--to transfer the whole Popish population
+to the Established Church. It is a noble, a glorious speculation, if it
+only can be accomplished. Think of the advantages it would confer upon
+us! What stability would it not give the Church."
+
+"I cannot exactly see what peculiar stability it would give the Church,"
+replied Clement, "with the exception of mere numbers alone."
+
+"How so--what do you mean?"
+
+"Why, sir," replied Clement, "if we had the numbers you speak of
+to-morrow, we would be certainly worse off than we are today. They could
+only pay us our tithes, and that they do as it is; if they formed a
+portion, and the largest portion they would form, of our church, think
+of the immense number of clergy they would require to look to their
+religious wants--the number of churches and chapels of ease that must be
+built--the number of livings that must be divided--nay, my dear sir, in
+addition to this, you may easily see, that for every one bishop now, we
+should have at least four, then, and that the incomes would diminish in
+proportion. As it is now, sir, we have the tithes without the trouble of
+laboring for them, but it would be a different case in your new position
+of affairs."
+
+Mr. Lucre, who, in the heat of his zeal, had neither permitted himself
+to see matters in this light, nor to perceive that Clement's arguments
+concealed, under a grave aspect, something of irony and satire, looked
+upon his curate with dismay--the smooth and rosy cheek got pale, as did
+the whole purple face down to the third chin, each of which reminded one
+of the diminished rainbows in the sky, if we may be allowed to except
+that they were not so heavenly.
+
+"Clement," said he, "you amaze me--that is a most exceedingly clear view
+of the matter. Transfer them! no such thing, it would be a most dreadful
+calamity, unless church property were proportionately increased; but,
+could not that be done, Clement? Yes," said he, exulting at the idea,
+as one of which he ought to feel proud, "that could and would be
+done--besides I relish the multiplication of the bishoprics, under any
+circumstances, and therefore we will proceed with the Reformation. At
+all events, it would be a great blessing to get rid of Popery, which we
+would do, if we could accomplish this glorious project."
+
+"I must confess, sir," replied Mr. Clement gravely, "that I have never
+been anxious for a mere change of speculative opinions in any man,
+unless when accompanied by a corresponding improvement in his life and
+morals. With respect to the Reformation Society, I beg leave to
+observe that I think the plan for the present is unseasonable, and only
+calculated to fill the kingdom with religious dissention and hatred.
+The people, sir, are not prepared to have their religion taken by storm;
+they are too shrewd for that; and I really think we have no just cause
+to feel anxious for the conversion of those who cannot appreciate the
+principles upon which they embrace our faith, as must be the case with
+ninety-nine out of every hundred of them. I have ever been of opinion
+that the policy pursued by England towards this country has been the
+bane of its happiness. She deprived the Irish Roman Catholics of the
+means of acquiring education, and then punished them for the crimes
+which proceeded from their ignorance. They were a dissatisfied, a
+tumultuous, and an impracticable, because they were an oppressed,
+people; and where, by the way, is there a people, worthy to be named
+such, who will or ought to rest contented under penal and oppressive
+laws. But there was a day when they would have been grateful for the
+relaxation of such laws. Oppression, however, has its traditions, and
+so has revenge, and these can descend from father to son, without
+education. If Roman Catholic disabilities had been removed at a proper
+time, they would long since have been forgotten, but they were not, and
+now they are remembered, and will be remembered. The prejudices of the
+Roman Catholics, however, and their enmity towards those who oppressed
+them, increased with their numbers and their knowledge. The religion of
+those who kept them down was Protestant; and think you, sir, that, be
+the merits of that religion what they may, these are the people to
+come over in large masses, without esteem for us, reflection, or any
+knowledge of its principles, and embrace the creed of the very men
+whom they look upon as their oppressors. Sir, there is but one way of
+converting the Irish, and it this:--Let them find the best arguments for
+Protestantism in the lives of its ministers, and of all who profess it.
+Let the higher Protestant clergy move more among the humbler classes
+even of their own flocks--let them be found more frequently where
+the Roman Catholic priest always is--at the sick-bed--in the house of
+mourning, of death, and of sin--let them abandon the unbecoming pursuits
+of an ungodly ambition--cast from them the crooked and dishonest
+manoeuvres of political negotiation and intrigue--let them live more
+humbly, and more in accordance with the gospel which they preach--let
+them not set their hearts upon the church merely because it is a wealthy
+corporation, calculated rather to gratify their own worldly ambition or
+cupidity, than the spiritual exigencies of their own flocks--let them
+not draw their revenues from the pockets of a poor people who disclaim
+their faith, whilst they denounce and revile that faith as a thing not
+to be tolerated. Let them do this, sir--free Protestantism from the
+golden shackles which make it the slave of Mammon, that it may be able
+to work--do this, and depend upon it, that it will then flourish as it
+ought; but, in my humble opinion, until such a reform first takes place
+with ourselves, it is idle to expect that Roman Catholics will come
+over to us, unless, indeed, a few from sordid and dishonest motives--and
+these we were better without. I think, therefore, that the present
+Reformation Society is unseasonable and ill-advised, nor do I hesitate
+to predict that the event will prove it so. In conclusion, sir, I am
+sorry to say, that I've seldom seen one of those very zealous clergymen
+who would not rather convert one individual from Popery than ten from
+sin."
+
+"Why, Clement, you are a liberal!"
+
+"I trust, sir, I am a Christian. As for liberalism, as it is generally
+understood, no man scorns the cant of it more than I do. But I cannot
+think that a Roman Catholic man sincerely worshipping God--even with,
+many obvious errors in his forms, or, with what we consider absurdities
+in his very creed--I cannot think, I say, that such a man, worshipping
+the Almighty according to his knowledge, will be damned. To think so
+is precisely the doctrine of exclusive salvation, with which we charge
+Popery itself."
+
+Mr. Lucre's face, during the enunciation of these sentiments,
+glowed like a furnace thrice heated--he turned up his eyes--groaned
+aloud--struck the arm of his chair with his open hand--then commenced
+fanning his breast, as if the act were necessary to cool that
+evangelical indignation, in which there is said to be no sin.
+
+"Clement," said he, "this--this"--here he kept fanning down his choler
+for half a minute--"this is--astonishing--awful--monstrous--monstrous
+doctrine to come from the lips of a clergyman--man"--another
+fanning--"of the Established Church; but what is still worse,
+from--from--the lips of my curate! my curate! I'll trouble you to touch
+the bell--thank you, sir. But, Mr. Clement, the circumstance of giving
+utterance to such opinions, so abruptly, as if you were merely stating
+some common-place fact--without evincing the slightest consideration for
+me--without reflecting upon who and what I am--without remembering my
+position--my influence--the purity and orthodoxy of my doctrine--the
+services I have rendered to religion, and to a Protestant
+government--(John, a glass of water; quickly)--you forget, sir, that I
+have proved the Romish Church to be both damnable and idolatrous--that
+she is without the means of salvation--that her light is out--her
+candlestick removed--and that she is nothing now but darkness, and
+abomination, and blasphemy. Yes, sir; knowing all this, you could openly
+express such doctrines, without giving me a moment's notice, or anything
+to, prepare me for such a shock!--sir, I am very much distressed
+indeed; but I thank my God that this excitement--(bring it here,
+John; quick:)--that this excitement is Christian excitement--Christian
+excitement, Mr. Clement; for I am not, I trust, without thai zeal for
+the interests of my church, of my King, and of Protestantism at large,
+which becomes a man who has labored for them as I have done."
+
+Here, notwithstanding the excessive thirst which seemed to have fastened
+on him, he put the glass to his lips; but, sooth to say, like the
+widow's cruse, it seemed to have been gifted with the miraculous
+property of going from his lips as full as when it came to them.
+
+"I assure you, Mr. Lucre," replied Clement, "in uttering my sentiments,
+I most certainly had not the slightest intention of giving you offence.
+I spoke calmly, and candidly, and truly, what I think and feel--and I
+regret that I should have offended you so much; for I only expressed
+the common charity of our religion, which hopeth all things--is slow to
+condemn, and forbids us to judge, lest we be judged."
+
+"Clement," said Mr. Lucre, who, to speak truth, had ascribed his
+excitement--what a base, servile, dishonest, hypocritical scoundrel of
+a word is that excitement--ready to adopt any meaning, to conceal any
+failing, to disguise any fact, to run any lying message whatsoever at
+the beck and service of falsehood or hypocrisy. If a man is drunk, in
+steps excitement--Lord, sir, he was only excited, a little excited;--if
+a man is in a rage, like Mr. Lucre, he is only excited, moved by
+Christian excitement--out upon it!--but, like every other slavish
+instrument, we must use it--had ascribed his excitement, we say, to
+causes that had nothing whatsoever to do in occasioning it--the _bona
+fide_ one being the indirect rebuke, to him, and the class to which
+he belonged, that was contained in Clement's observations upon the
+Established Church and her ecclesiastics. "Clement," said he, "I must be
+plain with you. For some time past I have really suspected the soundness
+of your views--I had doubts of your orthodoxy; but out of consideration
+for your large family, I did not press you for an explanation."
+
+"Then, sir," replied Clement, "allow me to say, that as an orthodox
+clergyman, jealous of the purity of our creed, and anxious for the
+spiritual welfare of your flock, it was your duty to have done so. As
+for me, I shall be at all times both ready and willing to render
+an account of the faith that is in me. I neither fear nor deprecate
+investigation, sir, I assure you."
+
+"I certainly knew not, however, that you were so far gone in
+latitudinarianism, as I find, unfortunately, to be the case. I hold a
+responsible--a sacred situation, as a Protestant minister, Mr. Clement,
+and consequently cannot suffer such doctrine to spread through my flock.
+Besides, had you taken an active part in promoting this Reformation,
+as, with your learning and talents I know you could have done--I make no
+allusion now to your unhappy principles--had you done so it was my fixed
+intention to have increased your salary ten pounds per annum, out of my
+own pocket, notwithstanding the great claims that are upon me."
+
+"My legal salary, I believe, Mr. Lucre, is seventy-five pounds per
+annum, and the value of your benefice is one thousand four hundred. I
+may say the whole duty is performed by me. Out of that one thousand four
+hundred, I receive sixty; but I shall add nothing more--for indeed I
+have yet several visits to make before I go home. As to my orthodoxy,
+sir, you will take your own course. To my bishop I am ready to explain
+my opinions; they are in accordance with the Word of God; and if for
+entertaining them I am deprived of the slender support for which I
+labor, as your curate, my trust in God will not be the less."
+
+Mr. Lucre declined any reply, but bowed very politely, and rang
+the bell, to order his carriage, as a hint to Mr. Clement that the
+conversation was closed. The latter bowed, bade him good morning, and
+departed.
+
+When Mr. Clement said he had some visits to make, we must, lest the
+reader might suppose they are visits of ceremony, follow his steps in
+order to learn the nature of these visits.
+
+About half a mile from the Glebe house of Castle Cumber, the meek and
+unassuming curate entered into an abode of misery and sorrow, which
+would require a far more touching pen than ours to describe. A poor
+widow sat upon the edge of a little truckle bed with the head of one of
+her children on her lap; another lay in the same bed silent and feeble,
+and looking evidently ill. Mr. Clement remembered to have seen the boy
+whom she supported, not long before playing about the cottage, his rosy
+cheeks heightened into a glow of health and beauty by the exercise, and
+his fair, thick-clustered hair blown about by the breeze. The child was
+dying, and the tender power of a mother's love prompted her to keep him
+as near her breaking heart as she could, during the short space that
+remained of his brief existence. When Mr. Clement entered, the lonely
+mother looked upon him with an aspect of such bitter sorrow, of such
+helpless supplication in her misery, as if she said, am I left to the
+affliction of my own heart! Am I cut off from the piety and comfort,
+which distress like mine ought to derive from Christian sympathy and
+fellowship! Have I not even a human face to look upon, but those of my
+dying children! Such in similar circumstances are the questions which
+the heart will ask. She could not immediately speak, but with the head
+of her dying boy upon her heart she sat in mute and unbroken agony,
+every pang of her departing orphan throwing a deeper shade of affliction
+over her countenance, and a keener barb of sorrow into her heart.
+
+The champion of God, however, was at his post. He advanced to the
+bed-side, and in tones which proclaimed the fulness of his sympathy in
+her sufferings, and with a countenance lit up by that trust in heaven
+which long trials of his own and similar bereavements had given him, he
+addressed her in words of comfort and consolation, and raised her heart
+to better hopes than any which this world of care and trial can bestow.
+It is difficult, however, to give comfort in such moments, nor is it
+prudent to enforce it too strongly. The widow looked upon her boy's
+face, which was sweetly marked with the graces of innocence, even in
+the throes of death. The light of life was nearly withdrawn from his dim
+blue eye; but he felt from time to time for the mother's, hands, and
+the mother's bosom. He was striving, too, to utter his little complaint;
+attempting probably to describe his sufferings, and to beg relief from
+his unhappy parent; but the dissolving power of death was on all his
+faculties; his words lapsed into each, other indistinctly, and were
+consequently unintelligible. Mrs. Vincent, for such was the widow's
+name, heard the words addressed to her by Mr. Clement; she raised her
+eyes, to heaven for a moment, and then turned them, heavy with misery,
+upon her dying boy. Her heart--her hopes:--almost her whole being
+were peculiarly centered in the object before her; and though she had
+imagined that sympathy might support her, she now felt that no human
+power could give her consolation. The tears were falling fast from Mr.
+Clement's cheeks, who felt, that until the agonies of the boy were
+over, it would be vain to offer her any kind of support. At length she
+exclaimed--
+
+"Oh! Saviour, who suffered the agony of the cross, and who loved little
+children like him, let your mercy descend upon my beloved! Suffer him to
+come to you soon. Oh! Saviour--hear a mother's prayer, for I loved him
+above all, and he was our life! Core of my heart, you are striving to
+tell your mother what you suffer, but the weight of death is upon your
+tongue, and you cannot do it! I am here, my beloved sufferer--I am
+here--you struggle to find my hands to tell me--to tell me--but I cannot
+help you."
+
+"Mrs. Vincent," said the curate, "we have reason to believe that what
+appears to us to be the agony of death, is not felt so severely as we
+imagine; strive to moderate your grief--and reflect that he will soon
+be in peace, and joy, and happiness, that will never end. His little
+sorrows and sufferings will soon be over, and the bosom of a merciful
+God will receive him into life and glory."
+
+"But, sir," replied the widow, the tears fast streaming down her cheeks,
+"do you not see what he suffers? Look at the moisture that is on his
+little brow, and see how he writhes with the pain. He thinks that I can
+stop it, and it is for that he presses my hand. During his whole illness
+that was still his cry--'oh, mother, take away this pain, why don't you
+take away the pain!'"
+
+Mr. Clement was a father, and an affectionate one, and this allusion
+to the innocence of the little sufferer touched his heart, and he was
+silent.
+
+The widow proceeded: "there he lies, my only--only son--his departed
+father's image, and I looked up to him to be one day my support, my
+pride, and my happiness--but see what he is now! Oh! James, James,
+wouldn't I lay down my life to save yours!"
+
+"You look at the dark side of the picture, Mrs. Vincent," said the
+curate. "Think upon what he may escape by his early and his happy death.
+You know not, but that there was crime, and sin, and affliction before
+him. Consider how many parents there are now in the world, who would
+feel happy that their children, who bring shame, and distress, and
+misery upon them, had been taken to God in their childhood. And, surely,
+there is still a God to provide for your self and your other little
+ones; for remember, you have still those who have tender claims upon
+your heart."
+
+"I know you are right, sir," she replied "but in cases like this, nature
+must have its way. Death, death, but you're cruel! Oh--blessed Father,
+what is this!"
+
+One last convulsive spasm, one low agonizing groan, accompanied by a
+relaxation of the little fingers which had pressed her hands, closed the
+sufferings of the widow's pride. She stooped wildly over him and pressed
+him to her heart, as if by doing so she could draw his pains into her
+own frame, as they Were already in her spirit; but his murmurings were
+silent, and on looking closely into his countenance, she perceived that
+his Redeemer had, indeed, suffered her little one to go unto him; that
+all his little pains and agonies were over forever.
+
+"His sufferings are past," she exclaimed, "James, your sufferings are
+over!" As she uttered the words, the curate was astonished by hearing
+her burst out into one or two wild hysteric laughs, which happily ended
+in tears.
+
+"No more," she continued, "you'll feel no more pain now, my precious
+boy; your voice will never sound in my ears again; you'll never call
+on me to say 'mother, take away my pain;' the Sunday mornin' will never
+come when I will take pride in dressing you. My morning and evening kiss
+will never more be given--all my heart was fixed on is gone, and I care
+not now what becomes of me."
+
+What could the good curate do? He strove to soothe, sustain, and comfort
+her, but in vain; the poor widow heard him not.
+
+"Jenny," said she, at length, turning to, the other sick child, "your
+brother is at rest! James is at rest; he will disturb your sleep now no
+more--nor will you disturb his."
+
+"Oh! but he couldn't help it, mammy; it was the pain that made him."
+
+As the child uttered these words, the widow put her hand to her heart,
+gave two or three rapid sobs--her bosom heaved, and her head fell back
+over a chair that was accidentally beside her. Mr. Clement caught her
+in time to prevent her from falling; he placed her upright on the chair,
+which he carried to, the little dresser, where he found a jug of water,
+the only drink she had to give her sick children. With this he bathed
+her temples and wet her lips, after which he looked upon the scene of
+death and affliction by which he was surrounded.
+
+"Gracious Father," he exclaimed, "let, your mercy reach this most
+pitiable family! Look with eyes of pity and compassion upon this
+afflicted and bereaved woman! Oh, support her--she is poor and nearly
+heart-broken, and the world has abandoned her! Oh, do not abandon her,
+Father of all mercy, and God of all consolation!"
+
+As he concluded, the widow recovered, and felt his tears falling upon
+her face. On looking she perceived how deeply he was affected. Her lips
+opened unconsciously with a blessing on him who shared in, and soothed
+her sorrows--her voice was feeble, for she had not yet recovered her
+strength; but the low murmur of her prayers and blessings rose like the
+sounds of sweet but melancholy music to heaven, and was heard there.
+
+Mr. Clement then went over to the bed, and with his own hands smoothed
+it down for the little sick sister of the departed boy, adjusting the
+bed-clothes about her as well as he could, for the other children were
+too., young to do anything. He then divided the hair upon the
+lifeless child's forehead--contemplated his beautiful features for a
+moment--caught his little hand in his--let it fall--oh! how lifelessly!
+he then shook his head, raised his eyes, and pointing to heaven,
+exclaimed--
+
+"There--Mrs. Vincent, let your hopes lie there."
+
+He then departed, with a promise of seeing her soon.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XII.--Interview between Darby and Mr. Lucre
+
+--Darby feels Scriptural, and was as Scripturally treated--Mr. Lucre's
+Christian Disposition towards Father M'Cabe--A few Brands offer
+Themselves to be Plucked from the Burning--Their Qualification, for
+Conversion, as stated by Themselves.
+
+
+Mr. Lucre, like almost every Protestant rector of the day, was a
+magistrate, a circumstance which prevented Mr. Clement from feeling
+any surprise at seeing a considerable number of persons, of both sexes,
+approaching the glebe. He imagined, naturally enough, that they were
+going upon law business, as it is termed--for he knew that Mr. Lucre,
+during his angel visits to Castle Cumber, took much more delight in
+administering the law than the gospel, unless, when ready made, in the
+shape of Bibles. When Darby, also, arrived, he found a considerable
+number of these persons standing among a little clump of trees in the
+lawn, apparently waiting for some person to break the ice, and go in
+first--a feat which each felt anxious to decline himself, whilst he
+pressed it very strongly upon his neighbor. No sooner had Darby made
+his appearance than a communication took place between him and them,
+in which it was settled that he was to have the first interview, and
+afterwards direct the conduct and motions of the rest. There was,
+indeed, a dry, knowing look about him, which seemed to imply, in fact,
+that they were not there without some suggestion from himself.
+
+Darby was very well known to Mr. Lucre, for whom he had frequently acted
+in the capacity of a bailiff; he accordingly entered with something like
+an appearance of business, but so admirably balanced was his conduct on
+this occasion, between his usual sneaking and servile manner, and
+his privileges as a Christian, that it would be difficult to witness
+anything so inimitably well managed as his deportment. One circumstance
+was certainly strongly in his favor; Father M'Cabe had taken care to
+imprint with his whip a _prima facie_ testimony of sincerity upon
+his countenance, which was black, and swollen into large welts by the
+exposition of doctrinal truth which he had received at that gentleman's
+hands. Lucre, on seeing him, very naturally imagined he was coming
+to lodge informations for some outrage committed on him either in the
+discharge of his duty as bailiff, or, for having become a convert, a
+fact with which he had become acquainted from the True Blue.
+
+"Well, O'Drive," said he, "what is the matter now? you are sadly
+abused--how came this to pass?"
+
+Darby first looked upwards, very like a man who was conscientiously
+soliciting some especial grace or gift from above; his lips moved as if
+in prayer, but he was otherwise motionless--at length he ceased--drew
+a lone breath, and assumed the serenity of one whose prayer had
+been granted. The only word he uttered that could possibly be at all
+understood, was amen; which he pronounced lowly, but still distinctly,
+and in as unpopish a manner as he could.
+
+"I beg your pardon, sir," he replied, "but now my heart's aisier--I hope
+I have overcome that feeling that was an me--I can now forgive him for
+the sake of the spread o' the gospel, and I do."
+
+"What has happened your face?--you are sadly abused!"
+
+"A small taste o' parsecution, sir, which the Lord put into Father
+M'Cabe's horsewhip--heart I mane--to give me, bekaise I renounced his
+hathenism, and came into the light o' thruth--may He be praised for it!"
+Here followed an upturning of the eyes after the manner of M'Slime.
+
+"Do you mean to tell me, O'Drive, that this outrage has been committed
+on you by that savage priest, M'Cabe?"
+
+"It was he left me as you see, sir--but it's good to suffer in this
+world, especially for the thruth. Indeed I am proud of this face," he
+continued, blinking with a visage so comically disastrous at Mr. Lucre,
+that had that gentleman had the slightest possible perception of the
+ludicrous in his composition, not all the gifts and graces that ever
+were poured down upon the whole staff of the Reformation Society
+together, would have prevented him from laughing outright. "Of course
+you are come," pursued Lucre, "to swear information against this man?"
+
+"I have prayed for it," said Darby in a soliloquy, "and I feel that it
+has been granted. Swear information, sir?--I'll strive and do betther
+than that, I hope; I must now take my stand by the Bible, sir; that will
+be the color I'll hoist while I live. In that blessed book I read these
+words this mornin', 'love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do
+good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you
+and parsecute you.' Sir, when I read these words, I felt them slidin'
+into my heart, and I couldn't help repeatin' them to myself, ever
+since--and, even when Father M'Cabe was playin' his whip about my ears,
+I was as hard at work prayin' for his sowl."
+
+This, we have no doubt, was perfectly true, only we fear that our
+blessed convert forgot to state the precise nature and object of the
+prayer in question, and to mention whether it was to the upper or lower
+settlement he consigned the soul alluded to. This Christian spirit of
+Darby's, however, was by no means in keeping with that of Mr. Lucre, who
+never was of opinion, in his most charitable of moods, that the gospel
+should altogether supersede the law. On this occasion, especially, he
+felt an acuteness of anxiety to got the priest within his power, which
+the spirit of no gospel that ever was written could repress. M'Cabe and
+he had never met, or, at least, never spoke; but the priest had, since
+the commencement of the new movement, sent him a number of the most
+ludicrous messages, and transmitted to him, for selection, a large
+assortment of the most comical and degrading epithets. Here, then,
+was an opportunity of gratifying his resentment in a Christian and
+constitutional spirit, and with no obstacle in his way but Darby's
+inveterate piety. This, however, for the sake of truth, he hoped to
+remove, or so modify, that it would not prevent him from punishing that
+very disloyal and idolatrous delinquent.
+
+"Those feelings, O'Drive, are all very good and creditable to you, and
+I am delighted indeed that you entertain them--but, in the meantime, you
+owe a duty to society greater than that which you owe to yourself.
+This man, this priest--a huge, ferocious person I understand he is--has
+latterly been going about the parish foaming and raging, and seeking
+whom he can horsewhip."
+
+"That's thruth, sir, poor dark hathen--an', sir--jist beggin' your
+pardon for one minute, half a minute, sir--you know we're desired when
+an inimy strikes us upon one cheek to turn the other to him; well, as I
+said, sir, I found myself very Scriptural this whole day, so when he hit
+me the first welt on this cheek, I turns round the other, an' now look
+at the state it's in, sir--but that's not all, sir, he tuck the hint at
+once, and gave it to me on both sides, till he left me as you see me.
+Still, sir, I can forgive him, and I have done it."
+
+"That, as I said, reflects great credit on your principles--but, in the
+meantime, you can still retain these principles and prosecute him.
+Your lodging informations against him does not interfere with your own
+personal forgiveness of him at all--because it is in behalf of, and for
+the safety of society that you come forward to prosecute now."
+
+Darby, who in point of fact had his course already taken, shook his head
+and replied, falling back upon the form of M'Slime's language as much as
+he could--
+
+"I feel, sir," he replied, "that I'm not permitted."
+
+"Permitted!" repeated the other. "What do you menu?"
+
+"I'm not permitted from above, sir, to prosecute this man. I'm not
+justified in it."
+
+"Quite ridiculous, O'Drive, where did you pick up this jargon of the
+conventicle--but that reminds me, by the by--you are not a convert
+to the Established Church. You belong to the Dissenters, and owe your
+change of opinions to Mr. M'Slime."
+
+"If I don't belong to the Established Church now, sir," replied Darby,
+"I won't be long so."
+
+"Why," inquired the other, "are you not satisfied with the denomination
+of Christians you have joined?"
+
+"M'Slime, sir, converted me--as you say--but I've great objections--and
+between you and me, I, fear it's not altogether safe for any man to take
+his religion from an attorney."
+
+A smile, as much as he could condescend to, passed over the haughty, but
+dignified features of Mr. Lucre.
+
+"O'Drive," said he, "I did not think you possessed so much simplicity
+of character as I perceive you do--but touching the prosecution of this
+man--you must lodge information, forthwith. You shall bring the warrant
+to Mr. M'Clutchy who will back it, and put it into the hands of those
+who will lose little time in having it executed."
+
+"I am sorry, sir, that my conscience doesn't justify me in doin' what
+you wish."
+
+"What do you mean by conscience, sir?" asked the other, getting warm,
+"if you have a conscience you will have no scruple in punishing a man
+who is an open enemy to truth, to the gospel, and to the spread of it
+through a benighted land. How can you reconcile it to your conscience to
+let such a man escape."
+
+"Simply by forgiving him, sir--by lettin' the great, big, ignorant
+hathen, have the full benefit of a gospel forgiveness. That's what I
+mean, sir, and surely it stands to sense that I couldn't prosecute him
+wid these feelin's, barrin' I'd go against the Word."
+
+"O'Drive," said Lucre, evidently mortified at Darby's obstinacy, "one of
+two things is true; either you are utterly ignorant, perhaps, with every
+disposition to know them, of the sanctions and obligations of religion,
+or you are still a Papist at heart, and an impostor. I tell you, sir,
+once more, that it is upon religious grounds that you ought to prosecute
+this wild priest; because in doing so, you render a most important
+service to religion and morality, both of which are outraged in his
+person. You ought to know this. Again, sir, if you are a Protestant, and
+have thoroughly cast Popery from your heart, you must necessarily be a
+loyal man and a good subject; but if you refuse to prosecute him, you
+can be neither the one nor the other, but a Papist and an impostor,
+and I've done with you. If Mr. M'Clutchy knew, sir, that you refused
+to prosecute a priest for such a violent outrage upon your person, I
+imagine you would not long hold the situation of bailiff under him."
+
+Darby looked into the floor like a philosopher solving a problem.
+"I see, sir," said he, "I see--well--you have made that clear enough
+sartinly; but you know, sir, how could you expect such deep raisoning
+upon these subjects from a man like me. I see the duty of it now
+clearly; but, when, sir, on the other hand if I prosecute him, what's to
+become of me? Will you, sir, bear my funeral expenses?"
+
+"Every penny, O'Drive," replied the other, eagerly. "Tut," he exclaimed,
+checking himself, "I--I--I thought you meant the expenses of the
+prosecution."
+
+"It's much the same, sir," replied Darby, "the one will be sure to
+follow the other. You know the state the country's in now, sir, and
+how the people on both sides are ready to skiver one another about this
+religion, and rents and tithes, and dear knows what besides. As it
+is, sir," he proceeded, "you see that I dursn't walk the road without
+these," and he produced the pistols as he spoke, "but what chance, sir,
+would I have if I prosecuted a priest? Why, my life wouldn't be worth
+two hours' purchase."
+
+Mr. Lucre himself could not help feeling and admitting the truth of
+this, but as he could devise no plan to obviate the dangers alluded to,
+he still scrupled not to urge the prosecution.
+
+"Sir," said Darby starting, as if a gleam of light had shot across his
+brain, "a thought has just struck me, and I hope it was something from
+above that sent it. If there was any kind of situation, sir, that
+I could fill, and that would keep me in a place of safety where the
+hathens couldn't get at me, everything would be right; and be the same
+token, sir, now that I think of it, isn't the under gaoler-ship of
+Castle Cumber vacant this minute."
+
+Lucre who, in fact, had set his heart on prosecuting and punishing the
+priest, would have gladly made Darby governor of the best gaol in his
+majesty's dominions, rather than lose this opportunity of effecting his
+purpose.
+
+"Rest contented, O'Drive," he replied, "you shall have it--I pledge
+myself that you shall have it. My influence is sufficient for much more
+than so paltry a trifle as that. And now for the informations."
+
+"Ah, sir," replied the other, "that wouldn't mend the matter a bit. Let
+it go once abroad that I swore them, and I'd never see to-morrow night.
+No, sir, if you wish him properly prosecuted,--and I think I ought to
+know how to do it, too;--but if you wish him properly punished, place
+me first out of harm's way--out o' the reach o' the hathens; put me into
+the situation before we take a single step in the business, then I'll be
+safe and can work in it to some purpose."
+
+"It shall be done," said Lucre, "and I will go about it presently, but
+in the mean time the matter rests as it is. If what you say is true, and
+I believe it is, your own safety depends upon your silence."
+
+"Not a breath," replied Darby; "and now, sir, about what brought me
+here--I wanted to say that I'd wish '_to read_' upon Sunday next."
+
+"What do you mean?" asked Lucre.
+
+"Why, sir, as I said, I don't like to take my religion from an
+attorney--and I'm afeard, besides, that he's not altogether orthybox,
+in regard that he hinted once that God was ------; but, indeed I
+disremember his words, for it wasn't aisy to hould them when you got
+them."
+
+"He, of course, is a Fatalist and Predestinarian," said Lucre; "but
+what is this you were about to say?"
+
+"Why, sir, that I'd wish publicly to read my recompensation in your
+church on Sunday next."
+
+"And why in my church?" asked the proud parson, who felt his vanity
+touched, not by anything Darby had yet said, but by the indescribable
+expression of flattery which appeared in his face.
+
+"Why, sir," he replied, "bekase it's given out on all hands that there's
+no end to your larnin'--that it's wondherful the books you wrote--and
+as for your preachin', that it 'ud make one think themselves in heaven,
+hell, or purgatory, accordin as you wished."
+
+"Very well, O'Drive, very well indeed," exclaimed Lucre, caught on
+his weakest side by this artful compliment; "but you must forget
+purgatory--however I can conceive that it was the mere force of
+habit that prompted you to utter it. Well, then, you shall read your
+recantation on Sunday, since you wish it--there will be about a dozen or
+two others, and you had better attend early. Good-day, O'Drive!"
+
+"Plaise your honor," said Darby, who never could be honest to both
+parties, "there's a batch o' convarts outside waitin' to see you, but
+between you and me, I think you had as well be on your guard wid some o'
+them, I know what they want."
+
+"And pray, what is that, O'Drive?"
+
+"Why, thin, for fraid I may be doin' the crathurs injustice, sir, I
+won't say; only jist take my hint, any how. Good mornin' kindly, sir!"
+
+As Darby passed the group we have alluded to, he winked at them very
+knowingly, "go up," said he, "go up I say:--may be I didn't give yez
+a lift since, and mark me, huld to the five guineas a head, and to be
+provided for aftherwards. Paddy Cummins do you go up, I say--bannath
+lath!"
+
+Paddy went up, and in a few minutes a ragged, famine-wasted creature
+entered with his old caubeen between his hands, and after having ducked
+down his head, and shrugged his shoulders alternately, stood with an
+abashed look before Mr. Lucre.
+
+"Well, my good man, what is your business with me?"
+
+To this the countryman prepared to reply,--first, by two or three
+additional shrugs; secondly, by raising his right elbow, and pulling
+up all that remained of the collar of his tattered cothamore, or great
+coat, after which he gave a hem.
+
+"Have you no tongue, my good fellow?"
+
+A shrug--"hem--why, sir, but that was a great sarmon you praiched
+on last Sunda', plaise you honor. Faitha, sir, there was mighty fine
+discoorsin' in it about rail-ligion?"
+
+"O! the sermon--did you hear it, my good man?"
+
+"Faitha, sir, I was there sure enough, in spite o' Father M'Cabe, an'
+all."
+
+"Sit down, my good friend, sit down--well, you attended the sermon, you
+say--pray how did you like it?"
+
+"Faitha, sir, sure nobody could dislike it bedad, sir, we're all greatly
+disappointed wid the priests afther hearin' it--it was wondherful to
+hear, the deep larnin' you brought forrid, sir, against them, an' our
+church in gineral. Begad myself was mightily improved by it."
+
+"Don't swear, though--well you were improved by it, you say--pray what
+is your name?"
+
+"I'm one Paddy Cummins, sir, a shister's son of--"
+
+"Well, Cummins, I'm very happy to hear that you were edified, and
+happier still that you had sense to perceive the side upon which truth
+lay."
+
+"Faitha, thin, your reverence, I seen that widout much throuble; but,
+sure they say, sir, there's to be a power of us turnin' over to yez."
+
+"I hope so, Cummins--we are anxious that you should see the errors of
+the creed you so ignorantly profess, and abandon them."
+
+"Sure enough, sir--dad, sir, your ministhers is fine men, so you
+are--then you're so rich, sir, plaise your honor--they do be sayin',
+sir, that the reverend gintlemen of your church have got a great deal of
+money among them somehow, in regard that it 'ud be needful to help poor
+crathurs that 'ud turn, and keep them from the parsecution, sir."
+
+"Cummins, my good friend, allow me to set you right. We never give
+a penny of money to any one for the sake of bringing him over to our
+church; if converts come to us it must be from conviction, not from
+interest."
+
+"I see, sir--but sure I'm not wantin' the promise at all, your
+honor--sure I know you must keep yourselves clear anyway--only the five
+guineas a head that I'm tould is to be given."
+
+"Five guineas a head!--pray who told you so?"
+
+"Faitha, sir, I couldn't exactly say, but every one says it. It's said
+we're to get five guineas a head, sir, and be provided for afther; I
+have nine o' them, sir, eight crathurs and Biddy herself--she can't
+spake English, but, wid the help o' God, I could consthre it for her.
+Faith, she'd make a choice Prodestan, sir, for wanst she takes a thing
+into her head the devil wouldn't get it out. As for me, I don't want a
+promise at all, your reverence, barrin' that if it 'ud be plaisin' to
+you, jist to lay your forefinger along your nose--merely to show that
+we undherstand one another--it 'ud be as good to me as the bank. The
+crathur on the breast, your reverence, we'd throw in as a luck penny, or
+dhuragh, and little Paddy we give at half price."
+
+"Did you hear all this?"
+
+"Faitha, then, we did, sir--and sure, as you don't like to have the
+thing known, I can keep my tongue atween my teeth as well as e'er a
+convart livin'--an' as for Biddy, by only keepin' her from the dhrink,
+she's as close as the gate of heaven to a heretic. Bedad, sir, this new
+light bates everything."
+
+"My good friend, Cummins, I tell you I have no money to give,--neither
+is there anything to be given,--for the sake of conversion--but, if
+your notions of your own religion are unsettled, put yourself under Lord
+------'s chaplain; and, if, in the due course of time, he thinks you
+sufficiently improved to embrace our faith, you and your family may be
+aided by some comforts suitable to your condition."
+
+Cummins' face lengthened visibly at 'an intimation which threw him so
+far from his expectations; the truth being, that he calculated upon
+receiving the money the moment he read his recantation. He looked at
+Mr. Lucre again as significantly as he could--gave his head a scratch of
+remonstrance--shrugged himself as before--rubbed his elbow--turned round
+his hat slowly, examined its shape, and gave it a smarter set, after
+which he gave a dry hem and prepared to speak.
+
+"I'll hear nothing further on the subject," said the other, "withdraw."
+
+Without more ado Cummins slunk out of the room, highly disappointed, but
+still not without hopes from Lord ------, to whom, or his chaplain, he
+resolved to apply. In the meantime he made the best of his way home to
+his starving wife and children, without having communicated the result
+of his visit to those who were assembled at the glebe house.
+
+He had scarcely left the hall door when another claimant for admission
+presented himself in the person of a huge, tattered fellow, with red,
+stiff hair standing up like reeds through the broken crown of his hat,
+which he took off on entering. This candidate for Protestantism had
+neither shoe nor stocking on him, but stalked in, leaving the prints of
+his colossal feet upon the hall through which he passed.
+
+"Well, friend, what is wrong with you?--why did'nt you rub your filthy
+feet, sir, before you entered the room? You have soiled all my carpet."
+
+"I beg your honor's parding," said the huge fellow; "I'll soon cure
+that." Having said which he trotted up to the hearth-rug, in which,
+before Lucre had time even to speak, by a wipe from each foot, he left
+two immense streaks of mud, which we guess took some hard scrubbing to
+remove. "Now, your honor, I hope I'll do."
+
+Lucre saw it was useless to remonstrate with him, and said, with more
+temper than could be expected--
+
+"Man, what's your business?"
+
+"I come, sirra,"--this man had a habit of pronouncing sir as sirra,
+which he could never overcome--"to tell your reverence to enther me down
+at wanst."
+
+"For what purpose should I enter you down?"
+
+"For the money, sirra; I have seven o' them, and we'll all go. You
+may christen us if you wish, sirra. 'Deed I'm tould we must all be
+christened over agin, an' in that case, maybe it 'ud be plaisin' to you
+to stand godfather for me, yourself, your reverence."
+
+"What do you mean?--but I suppose I understand you."
+
+"I mean, sirra, to become a Protestan--I an' my family, I'm Nickey
+Feasthalagh, that was in on suspicion o' the burnin' of Nugent's hay;
+and by them five crasses I was as innocent of that as the child onborn,
+so I was. Sure they couldn't prove an me, becoorse I came out wid flying
+colors, glory be to God! Here I am now, sir, an' a right good Prodestan
+I'll make when I come to understand it. An' let me whisper this, sirra,
+I'll be dam useful in fairs and markets to help the Orangemen to lick
+ourselves, your honor, in a skrimmage or party fight, or anything o'
+that kidney."
+
+"I am sorry, Nick Fistula, as you say your name is--"
+
+"Mickey, sirra."
+
+"Well, Nickey, or Nick, or whatever it may be, I am sorry to say that
+you won't do. You are too great an ornament to your own creed ever to
+shine in ours. I happen to know your character--begone."
+
+"Is Misthre Lucre widin?" asked a third candidate, whose wife
+accompanied him--"if he is, maybe you'd tell him that one Barney Grattan
+wishes to have a thrifle o' speech wid his honor."
+
+"Come in," said the servant with a smile, after having acquainted his
+master.
+
+The man and his wife accordingly entered, having first wiped their feet
+as they had been ordered.
+
+"Well, my good man, what's your business."
+
+"Rosha, will you let his honor know what we wor spakin' about? She'll
+tell you, sir."
+
+"Plaise your honor," said she, "we're convarts."
+
+"Well," said Mr. Lucre, "that is at least coming to the point. And pray,
+my good woman, who converted you?"
+
+"Faix, the accounts that's abroad, sir, about the gintleman from Dublin,
+that's so full of larnin', your reverance, and so rich, they say."
+
+"Then it was the mere accounts that wrought this change in you?"
+
+"_Dhamnu orth a Rosha, go dhe shin dher thu?_" said the husband in
+Irish; for he felt that the wife was more explicit than was necessary.
+"Never heed her, sir; the crathur, your reverence, is so through other,
+that she doesn't know what she's sayin', especially spakin' to so
+honorable a gentleman as your reverence."
+
+"Then let us hear your version, or rather your conversion."
+
+"Myself, sir, does be thinkin' a great deal about these docthrines and
+jinnyologies that people is now all runnin' upon. I can tell a story,
+sir, at a wake, or an my kailee wid a, neighbor, as well as e'er a man
+in the five parishes. The people say I'm very long headed all out, and
+can see far into a thing. They do, indeed, plaise your reverence."
+
+"Very good."
+
+"Did you ever hear about one Fin M'Cool who was a great buffer in his
+day, and how his wife put the trick upon a big bosthoon of a giant that
+came down from Munster to bother Fin? Did you ever hear that, sir?"
+
+"No; neither do I wish to hear it just now."
+
+"Nor the song of Beal Derg O'Donnel, sir, nor the 'Fairy River,'
+nor 'the Life and Adventures of Larry Dorneen's Ass,' plaise your
+reverence."
+
+"No--but I wish you would allow your wife to relate your business here."
+
+"Well, sir, the people say I'm very longheaded, and can see far into a
+thing--"
+
+"But, my good man, I care not what the people say--tell your story
+briefly."
+
+"--An' can see far into a thing, your reverence, becaise I'm
+long-headed. All longheaded people, sir, is cute, an' do you know why
+they're cute, sir? No, you don't, but I'll tell you--bekaise they're
+long-headed. Now, sir, what 'ud you think to turn Roman Catholic awhile
+till I'd malivogue you in arguin' Scripture?--I want to prove to you,
+sir, that I'm the boy that understands things."
+
+"What's your business with me?"
+
+"Will you thry it, sir, and you'll see how I'll sober you to your
+heart's delight."
+
+"What brought your husband to me, my good woman?"
+
+"_Bhe dha husth; fag a rogarah lumsa_."
+
+"He's comin' to it, plaise your reverence," said the wife.
+
+"Well, sir, so you see, bein' given to deep ways of thinkin' o' my own,
+I had many bouts at arguin' Scripthur--as every longheaded man has, of
+coorse--an' yestherday meetin' wid Brian Broghan, the mealman--him that
+keeps it up on the poor, sir--he challenged me, but, in three skips of
+a Scotch Gray, I sacked him cleaner than one of his own meal bags, and
+dusted him afterwards:--'so,' says he, misther Grattan, see what it is
+to be long-headed."
+
+"It's worse," observed Lucre, "to be long-winded. Come to an end, sir."
+
+"'Long-headed,' says he, 'an', of coorse you'll be takin' the money,'
+says Brougham; 'what money?' says I. 'Why, the five guineas,' says he,
+'that the Biblemen is givin' to every one that will turn wid them, he
+happens to be long-headed--but otherwise, not a penny.' So, sir, myself,
+you see, havin' the intention to come over long afore for fraid yez
+might think it was for the money I am doin' it. But is there such a
+thing, sir?"
+
+"Not a penny, and so you may tell your friends."
+
+"Well, but, sir, grantin' that, still you'll acknowledge that I'm
+long-headed."
+
+"No, only long-winded."
+
+"Not long-headed, then?"
+
+"No, certainly not."
+
+"_Damnu orth a veehone bradagh!_ come Rosha. Not long-headed! troth it's
+a poor religion to depind on--an' I'll make a show of it yet, if I'm
+spared. Come, woman alive."
+
+Honest Barney was the last but one who was honored by a hearing, though
+not the last by a score of those who expected it, and, sooth to say, the
+appearance of that one threw the whole proceedings into such exquisite
+ridicule, that we cannot resist the temptation of giving his claims and
+arguments a place among the rest. The convert in question was no other
+than our old friend _Raymond-na-hattha_, or Raymond of the hats; who,
+moved by the example of others, and only possessed of a dim notion of
+the cause that brought them together, came among them from that vague
+motive of action which prompts almost every creature like him to make
+one in a crowd, wherever it may assemble. The mind of poor Raymond
+was of a very anomalous character indeed; for his memory, which was
+wonderful, accumulated in one heterogeneous mass, all the incidents
+in which he had ever taken any part, and these were called out of the
+confusion, precisely as some chord of association happened to be struck
+in any conversation which he held. For this reason he sometimes uttered
+sentiments that would have come with more propriety from the lips of a
+philosopher than a fool, and again fell to the level of pure idiotism,
+so singular were his alternations from sense to nonsense. Lucre's
+porter, himself a wag, knew perfectly well what was going forward, and,
+indeed, took very considerable delight in the movement. When Raymond
+presented himself, the porter, to whom he was very well known,
+determined, for the joke's sake, that he should have the honor of an
+interview as well as the rest. Lucre, as we said, being but seldom at
+Castle Cumber, was ignorant of Raymond's person and character, and,
+indeed, we may add, that he stood in a position precisely similar with
+respect to almost every one of his own flock. When Raymond entered,
+then, he was addressed in much the same terms as the others.
+
+"Well, friend, what is your business?--
+
+"John, admit no more, and let the carriage come round--are you a convert
+also?"
+
+"Yes, I am; what have you to give me?"
+
+"A pure and peaceful religion, my friend."
+
+"Where is it?"
+
+"In this book--this is the Word of God, that preacheth peace and
+salvation to all."
+
+"Has Val M'Clutchy this book?"
+
+"Of course he has--it is not to be supposed that so able and staunch a
+friend of Protestantism, of the religion of the state, could be without
+this book, or ignorant of it."
+
+Raymond put it tip to his nose, and after seeming to smell it, said,
+with a strong shudder, "how did you do this among you? How did you do
+it?--look at it--see, see, it's dripping wid blood--here's murder
+on this page, there's starvation on that--there's the blood-hounds
+huntin'--look, sir, look at the poor creature almost worn down, makin'
+his way to hide, but he can't; they have him, they have him--see how
+they drag him, as if he was, a--ay, drag, drag, he's yours now, he's
+yours--whip and scourge, whip and scourge--more blood, more blood--and
+this is it, this--don't you see it, sir, comin' down in drops when I
+hould it up that way!"
+
+"My good friend, you are certainly in liquor--your language is that of a
+man strongly affected by drink."
+
+"And this is it," Raymond proceeded; "look at this page, that's not the
+one the blood is on; no, no, there's nothing here but madness. Ah!" said
+he, lowering his voice to a tone of deep compassion, "sure she's mad;
+they killed Hugh O'Began, and they killed the two sons, and then she
+went mad.--So, you see, there it is now--on that page there's blood,
+and, on this one,--with the big letter on it, there's madness. Then agin
+comes the Turnin' out. How would you like to walk three long, dreary
+miles, in sleet, and frost, and snow, havin' no house to go to--wid
+thin breeches to your bottom, an' maybe a hole in them--widout shoe or
+stockin' on your hooves--wid a couple of shiverin', half starved, sick
+childre, tied by an ould praskeen to your back, an' you sinkin' wid
+hunger all the time?--ay, and the tail o' your old coat blown up behind
+every minute, like a sparrow before the wind!--Eh, how would you like
+it?"
+
+Lucre still stuck to the hypothesis of liquor, and accordingly went and
+rang the porter's bell, who immediately appeared.
+
+"John," said his master, "I desire you will immediately show this man
+out--he is so scandalously affected with liquor, that he knows not the
+purport of his own language."
+
+John approached his master with a face of awful tenor:--"for God's sake,
+sir," said he, "don't say a word that might cross him, sure he's the
+great madman, _Raymond-na-hattha_. Just sit still, and let him take
+his own way, and he'll do no harm in life; appear to listen to him, and
+he'll be like a child--but, if you go to harshness, he'd tear you, and
+me, and all that's in the house, into minced meat."
+
+Once more did Lucre's countenance lose its accustomed hue; but, on this
+occasion, it assumed the color of a duck egg, or something between a bad
+white and a bad blue; "my good friend," said he, "will you please to take
+a seat--John, stay in the room." This he said in a whisper.
+
+"There," proceeded Raymond, who had been busily engaged in examining the
+pages of the Bible, "there is the page where that's on--the puttin' out
+in the clouds and storm of heaven--there it is on that page. Look at the
+ould man and the ould woman there--see them tremblin'. Don't cry--don't
+cry; but they are--see the widow there wid her orphans--there's a
+sick boy in that house, and a poor sick girl in that other house--see,
+they're all cryin'--all cryin'--for they must go out, and on sich a day!
+All that, now, is upon these two other pages, bekaise, you see, no one
+page would hould all that. But see here--here's a page wid only one
+side of it covered--let vis see what's on it. Oh, ay--here's the poor
+craythur's childre, wid the poor father and the poor mother; but they
+have the one cow to give milk to moisten their bit. Ha--ha--look again,
+there she goes off to the pound! Don't cry, poor helpless crathers; but
+how can you help cryin' when your poor mother's cryin'. That's a bitther
+thing, too, and it's on this page--see--that--that--that's it I've
+between my fingers--look at it--'how wet it is wid the poor craythur's
+tears; but there's no blood here--no, no--nothing but tears. Oh,
+here--see here--a page as big as the rest, bat wid nothing on it. Ay,
+I know that--that's an empty farm that nobody dare take, or woe be to
+them. But here--I seen him "--here he shuddered strongly--"I seen him!
+His father and mother were both standing undher him--that was the worst
+of all. It's in this page. He was only one-and-twenty, and the eyes he
+had; but how did it happen, that although they hanged him, every one
+loved him? I seen his father and the poor mother looking up to the
+gallows where he stood, and then she fainted, and she then got sick,
+and poor ould Brian has nobody now but himself; and all that's on this
+page." Here poor Raymond shed tears, so completely was he overpowered
+by the force of his own imaginings. He again proceeded--"And the poor
+white-headed son. What wouldn't the poor mother give to have his white
+head to look at? but he will never waken--he will never waken more.
+What's the name o' this book?" he inquired of Mr. Lucre.
+
+"My excellent and most intelligent friend," replied that gentleman, in
+atone of meekness and humility that would have shamed an apostle; "my
+most interesting friend, the name of that book in the Bible."
+
+"The Bible! oh yes; but am I doin' it right?" he inquired; "am I puttin'
+the explanation to it as I ought? Sure they all oxplain it, and it's
+only fair that Raymond should show his larnin' as well as any of them.
+Let us see, then--murdher and bloodshed, hangin' and starvin', huntin',
+purshuin, whippin', cowld and nakedness, hunger and sickness, death and
+then madness, and then death agin, and then damnation! Did I explain
+it?"
+
+"Perfectly, my friend--nothing can do better."
+
+"Well, then, think of it; but these aren't my explanations--but I know
+who puts them to that bad book! Don't they take all I said out of it?
+They do; and, sure, don't you see the poor people's blood, and tears,
+and everything upon it; sure all I said is in it. Here," he exclaimed,
+shuddering, "take it away, or may be it'll make me as wicked as the rest
+of you. But, after all, maybe it's not the fault of the book, but of the
+people." It would indeed be difficult to find a more frightful comment
+upon the crimes and atrocities which have been perpetrated in this
+divided country, in the name, and under the character of religion, than
+that which issued, with a kind of methodical incoherency, from the lips
+of _Raymond-na-hattha_. When he had concluded, Mr. Lucre, having first
+wiped the big drops of perspiration from his forehead, politely asked
+him if there was anything he could do for him.
+
+"Oh, ay," said he; "but first bring me a lump of good mate, and a quart
+of portlier."
+
+"You shall have it, my excellent friend. John, ring the bell. You are a
+very interesting person, Mr.--Mr.--
+
+"_Raymond-na-hattha_, sir."
+
+"Mr. Raiment--very interesting, indeed. (Good God! am I to run the risk
+of being-strangled in my own house by a madman!) Oh--here, Alick;
+bring up some cold meat and a bottle of porter. Anything to make you
+comfortable, my good sir."
+
+"I only want to see if all's right, sir," said Raymond, "and I'll tell
+you by and by." This was followed by a look of most pitiable distress
+from Lucre to his servant, John.
+
+Raymond no sooner saw the cold beef and bread laid down, together with a
+bottle of porter, than he commenced an exhibition, which first, awoke
+Mr. Lucre's astonishment, next his admiration, and lastly his envy.
+Raymond's performance, however, was of that rare description which loses
+by too frequent practice, and is only seen to advantage when the
+opportunities for exhibition are few. Three mortal pounds having at
+length disappeared, together with the greater part of a quartern loaf,
+and two bottles of porter, for Raymond had made bold to call for a
+second, he now wiped his mouth with the cuff of his coat first, and
+afterwards, by way of a more delicate touch, with the gathered palm of
+his hand; then, looking at Mr. Lucre, who sat perspiring with terror in
+his gorgeous easy chair, our readers may judge of the ease it just then
+communicated to that reverend gentleman, when he said, "It's all right
+enough, sir."
+
+"I'm delighted to hear it," replied Mr. Lucre, applying the _sudariolum_
+once more with a very nervous and quivering hand to his forehead:
+
+"Is there anything else in which I can serve you, my good sir?"
+
+[Illustration: PAGE 231-- Borrow the loan of your religion]
+
+"Yes, there is--all's right, I've now made the thrial, and it will do--I
+want to borrow the loan of your religion till the new praties comes in."
+
+"You shall have it, my worthy sir--you shall have it, with very great
+pleasure."
+
+"The raison why I came to you for it," said Raymond, who, evidently in
+this joke, had been put up by some one, "was bekaise I was tould that
+it's as good as new with you--'seldom used lasts long,' you know--but,
+such as it is, I'll borry it for--ah, there now, that's one; all right,
+all right," pointing to the fragments of the meat and bread--"I wouldn't
+ax betther; so, till the praties comes in, mind I'll take care of it;
+and, if I don't bring it back safe, I'll bring you a betther one in it's
+place." He then nodded familiarly to Mr. Lucre, and left the house. The
+latter felt as if he breathed new life once more, but he could not so
+readily pardon the man for admitting him.
+
+"What is the reason, sir," he asked, his face reddening, "that you
+suffered that formidable madman to get into the house?"
+
+"Why, sir," replied the porter, "when I opened the door, he shot in like
+a bolt; and, as for preventing him after that, if I had attempted it,
+he'd have had me in fragments long ago. When he's not opposed, sir, or
+crossed, he's quiet as a lamb, and wouldn't hurt a child; but, if he's
+vexed, and won't get his own way, why ten men wouldn't stand him."
+
+"Take care that he shall never be admitted here again," said his master;
+"I really am quite disturbed and nervous by his conduct and language,
+which are perfectly unintelligible. Indeed I am absolutely unwell--the
+shock was awful, and to occur on such a day, too--I fear my appetite
+will be very much affected by it--a circumstance which would be
+distressing beyond belief. Stop--perhaps it is not yet too late--ask
+Francis is the venison down, and, if not, desire him not to dress it
+to-day--I am out of appetite, say."
+
+John went, and in a couple of minutes returned, "Francis says it's
+down, sir, for some time," replied the man, "and that it must be dressed
+to-day, otherwise it will be spoiled."
+
+"And this is owing to you, you scoundrel," said his master in a
+rage, "owing to your neglect and carlessness--but there is no placing
+dependence upon one of you. See, you rascal, the position in which I
+am--here is a delicious haunch of venison for dinner, and now I am so
+much agitated and out of order that my appetite will be quite gone, and
+it will be eaten by others before my face, while I cannot touch it. For
+a very trifle I would this moment discharge you from my service, and
+without a character too."
+
+"I am very sorry, sir, but the truth--"
+
+"Begone, you scoundrel, and leave the room, or I shall use the
+horse-whip to you."
+
+John disappeared, and this great and zealous prop of Protestantism
+walked to and fro his study, almost gnashing his teeth from the
+apprehension of not having an appetite for the haunch of venison.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIII.--Darby's Brief Retirement from Public Life.
+
+--A Controversial Discussion, together with the Virtues it Produced
+
+
+Our readers may recollect that Darby in his pleasant dialogue with
+Father M'Cabe, alluded to a man named Bob Beatty, as a person afflicted
+with epilepsy. It was then reported that the priest had miraculously
+cured him of that complaint; but, whether he had or not, one thing, at
+least, was certain, that he became a Roman Catholic, and went regularly
+to mass. He had been, in fact, exceedingly notorious for his violence as
+an Orangeman, and was what the people then termed a blood-hound, and the
+son of a man who had earned an unenviable reputation as a Tory hunter;
+which means a person who devoted the whole energies of his life, and
+brought all the rancour of a religious hatred to the task of pursuing
+and capturing such unfortunate Catholics as came within grasp of penal
+laws. Beatty, like all converts, the moment he embraced the Roman
+Catholic creed, became a most outrageous opponent to the principles of
+Protestantism. Every Orangeman and Protestant must be damned, and it
+stood to reason they should, for didn't they oppose the Pope? Bob, then,
+was an especial protege of Father M'Cabe's, who, on his part, had very
+little to complain of his convert, unless it might be the difficulty
+of overcoming a habit of strong swearing which had brought itself so
+closely into his conversation, that he must either remain altogether
+silent, or let fly the oaths. Another slight weakness, which was rather
+annoying to the priest too, consisted in a habit Bob had, when any way
+affected with liquor, of drinking in the very fervor of his new-born
+zeal, that celebrated old toast, "to hell with the Pope!" These,
+however, were but mere specks, and would be removed in time, by inducing
+better habits. Now, it so happened, that on the day in question, Bob was
+wending his way to Father M'Cabe's, to communicate some matter connected
+with his religious feelings, and to ask his advice and opinion.
+
+"How confoundedly blind the world is," thought Bob, "not to see that
+Popery--" he never called it anything else--"is the true faith! Curse
+me but Priest M'Cabe is a famous fellow!--Zounds, what an Orangeman he
+would make!--he's just the cut for it, an' it's a thousand pities he's
+not one--but!--what the hell am I sayin?' They say he's cross and
+ill-tempered, but I deny it--isn't he patient, except when in a
+passion? and never in a passion unless when provoked; what the d--l more
+would they have? I know I let fly an oath myself of an odd time (every
+third word, good reader), but, then, sure the faith is never injured by
+the vessel that contains it. Begad, but I'm sorry for my father, though,
+for, as there's no salvation out o' Popery, the devil of it is, that
+he's lost beyond purchase."
+
+In such eccentric speculations did Bob amuse himself, until, in
+consequence of the rapid pace at which he went, he overtook a
+fellow-traveller, who turned out to be no other than our friend Darby
+O'Drive. There was, in fact, considering the peculiar character of these
+two converts, something irresistibly comic in this encounter. Bob knew
+little or nothing of the Roman Catholic creed; and, as for Darby, we
+need not say that he was thoroughly ignorant of Protestantism. Yet,
+nothing could be more certain--if one could judge by the fierce
+controversial cock of Bob's hat, and the sneering contemptuous
+expression of Darby's face, that a hard battle, touching the safest way
+of salvation, was about to be fought between them.
+
+Bob, indeed, had of late been anxious to meet Darby, in order, as he
+said, to make him "show the cloven foot, the rascal;" but Darby's ire
+against the priest was now up; and besides, he reflected that a display
+of some kind would recommend him to the Reformationists, especially,
+he hoped, to Mr. Lucre, who, he was resolved, should hear it. The two
+converts looked at each other with no charitable aspect. Darby was about
+to speak, but Bob, who thought there was not a moment to be lost, gave
+him a controversial facer before he had time to utter a word:--"How many
+articles in your church?"
+
+[Illustration: PAGE 233-- How many articles in your church?]
+
+"How many articles in my church! There's one bad one in your church more
+than ought to be in it, since they got you:--but can you tell me how
+many sins cry to heaven for vengeance on you, you poor lost hathen?"
+
+"Don't hathen me, you had betther; but answer my question, you rascally
+heretic."
+
+"Heretic inagh! oh, thin, is it from a barefaced idolather like you that
+we hear heretic called to us! Faith, it's come to a purty time o' day
+wid us!"
+
+"You're a blessed convart not to know the Forty-nine articles of your
+fat establishment!"
+
+"And I'll hould a wager that you don't know this minute how many
+saikerments in your idolathry. Oh, what a swaggerin' Catholic you are,
+you poor hair-brained blackguard!"
+
+"I believe you found some convincin' texts in the big purse of the Bible
+blackguards--do you smell that, Darby?"
+
+"You have a full purse, they say, but, by the time Father M'Cabe takes
+the price of your trangressions out of it--as he won't fail to do--take
+my word for it, it'll be as lank as a stocking without a leg in it--do
+you smell that, Bob ahagur?"
+
+"Where was your church before the Reformation?"
+
+"Where was your face before it was washed?"
+
+"Do you know the four pillars that your Church rests upon? because if
+you don't, I'LL tell you--it was Harry the aigth, Martin Luther, the
+Law, and the Devil. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Ah, what a purty
+boy you are, and what a deludin' face you've got."
+
+"So the priest's doin' you--he's the man can pluck a fat goose, Bob."
+
+"Don't talk of pluckin' geese--you have taken some feathers out o' the
+Bible blades, to all accounts. How do you expect to be saved by joining
+an open heresy?"
+
+"Whisht, you hathen, that has taken to idolathry bekase Father M'Cabe
+made an ass of you by a thrick that every one knows. But I tell you to
+your brazen face, that you'll be worse yet than ever you were."
+
+"You disgraced your family by turnin' apostate, and we know what for.
+Little Solomon, the greatest rogue unhanged, gave you the only grace you
+got or ever will get."
+
+"Why, you poor turncoat, isn't the whole country laughin' at you,
+and none more than your own friends. The great fightin' Orangeman and
+blood-hound turned voteen!--oh, are we alive afther that!"
+
+"The blaggard bailiff and swindler turned swadler, hopin' to get a
+fatter cut from the Bible blades, oh!"
+
+"Have you your bades about you? if you have, I'll throuble you to give
+us a touch of your Padareen Partha. Orange Bob at his Padareen Partha!
+ha, ha, ha."
+
+"You know much about Protestantism. Blow me, but it's a sin to see such
+a knavish scoundrel professing it."
+
+"It's a greater sin, you Orange omad-hawn, to see the likes o' you
+disgracin' the bades an' the blessed religion you tuck an you."
+
+"You were no disgrace, then, to the one you left; but you are a burnin'
+scandal to the one you joined, and they ought to kick you out of it."
+
+In fact, both converts, in the bitterness of their hatred, were
+beginning to forget the new characters they had to support, and to glide
+back unconsciously, or we should rather say, by the force of conscience,
+to their original creeds.
+
+"If Father M'Cabe was wise he'd send you to the heretics again."
+
+"If the Protestants regarded their own character, and the decency of
+their religion, they'd send you back to your cursed Popery again."
+
+"It's no beef atin' creed, anyway," said Darby, who had, without knowing
+it, become once more a staunch Papist, "ours isn't."
+
+"It's one of knavery and roguery," replied Bob, "sure devil a thing one
+of you knows only to believe in your Pope."
+
+"You had betther not abuse the Pope," said Darby, "for fraid I'd give
+you a touch o' your ould complaint, the fallin' sickness, you know, wid
+my fist."
+
+"Two could play at that game, Darby, and I say, to hell with him--and
+the priests are all knaves and rogues, every one of them."
+
+"Are they, faith," said Darby, "here's an answer for that, anyhow."
+
+"Text for text, you Popish rascal."
+
+A fierce battle took place on the open highway, which was fought with
+intense' bitterness on both sides. The contest, which was pretty equal,
+might, however, have been terminated by the defeat of one of them,
+had they been permitted to fight without support on either side; this,
+however, was not to be. A tolerably large crowd, composed of an equal
+number of Catholics and Protestants, collected from the adjoining
+fields, where they had been at labor, immediately joined them. Their
+appearance, unhappily, had only the effect of renewing the battle.
+The Catholics, ignorant of the turn which the controversy had taken,
+supported Bob and Protestantism; whilst the Protestants, owing to a
+similar mistake, fought like devils for Darby and the Pope. A pretty
+smart skirmish, in fact, which lasted more than twenty minutes, took
+place between the parties, and were it not that their wives, sisters,
+daughters, and mothers, assisted by many who were more peaceably
+disposed, threw themselves between them, it might have been much more
+serious than it was. If the weapons of warfare ceased, however, so did
+not their tongues; there was abundance of rustic controversy exchanged
+between them, that is to say, polemical scurrility much of the same
+enlightened character as that in the preceding dialogue. The fact of
+the two parties, too, that came to their assistance, having mistaken the
+proper grounds of the quarrel, reduced Darby and Bob to the necessity
+of retracing their steps, and hoisting once more their new colors,
+otherwise their respective friends, had they discovered the blunder they
+had committed, would, unquestionably, have fought the battle a second
+time on its proper merits. Bob, escorted by his Catholic friends, who
+shouted and huzza'd as they went along, proceeded to Father M'Cabe's;
+whilst Darby and his adherents, following their example, went towards
+M'Clutchy's, and having left him within sight of Constitution Cottage,
+they returned to their labor.
+
+We have already said, that neither M'Clutchy nor M'Slime was at all a
+favorite with Darby. Darby was naturally as avaricious, and griping, and
+oppressive as either of them; and as he was the principal instrument of
+their rapacity and extortion, he deemed it but fair and just that they
+should leave him at least a reasonable share of their iniquitous gains.
+They were not, however, the gentlemen to leave much behind them, and
+the upshot was, that Darby became not only highly dissatisfied at their
+conduct towards him, but jealous and vigilant of all their movements,
+and determined to watch an opportunity of getting them both into
+his power. M'Slime's trick about M'Clutchy's letter first awoke his
+suspicions, and the reader is already acquainted with the dexterous
+piece of piety by which he secured it. Both letters now were in his
+possession, or at least in a safe place; but as he had not yet read
+them, he did not exactly know what line of conduct or deportment to
+assume. Then, how face M'Clutchy without M'Slime's answer? Darby,
+however, was fertile, and precisely the kind of man who could, as they
+sav, kill two birds with one stone. He had it;--. just the very thing
+that would serve every purpose. Accordingly, instead of going to
+M'Clutchy's at all, he turned his steps to his own house; tied an old
+stocking around his head, got his face bandaged, and deliberately took
+to his bed in a very severe state of illness. And, indeed, to tell the
+truth, a day or two in bed was not calculated to do him the least harm,
+but a great deal of good; for what, between the united contributions of
+Father M'Cabe and Bob Beatty, he was by no means an unfit subject for
+the enjoyment of a few days' retirement from public life.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIV.--Poll Doolin's Honesty, and Phil's Gallantry
+
+--A Beautiful but Cowardly Method of Destroying Female Reputation.--A
+Domiciliary Visit from the Blood-hounds--Irresponsible Power
+
+
+At length the hour of Mary M'Loughlin's appointment with Phil arrived,
+and the poor girl found herself so completely divided between the
+contending principles of love for Harman and aversion towards Phil,
+that she scarcely knew the purport of her thoughts or actions. Harman's
+safety, however, was the predominant idea in her soul, and in order
+to effect that, or at least to leave nothing undone to effect it,
+she resolved, as pure and disinterested attachment always will do--to
+sacrifice her detestation for young M'Clutchy, so far as to give him an
+opportunity of satisfying her that he was sincere in wishing to save her
+lover. This setting aside her invincible and instinctive hatred of that
+worthy gentleman, was, she thought, not at least unreasonable, and with
+her mind thus regulated she accordingly awaited the appointed time. On
+reaching the back of her father's garden she found that Phil had not
+arrived, but somewhat to her relief she was accosted by Poll Doolin,
+who approached from a clump of trees that stood in deep and impenetrable
+shadow, whilst she and Poll were easily visible under the dim light of
+what is called a watery and cloudy moon.
+
+Poll, as she addressed her, spoke eagerly, and her voice trembled with
+what appeared to Mary to be deep and earnest agitation.
+
+"Miss M'Loughlin," she exclaimed, in a low, but tremulous voice, "I now
+forgive your father all--I forgive him and his--you need not forgive,
+for I never bore you ill-will--but I am bound to tell you that there's
+danger over your father's house and hearth this night. There is but one
+can save them, and he will. You must go into your own room, raise the
+window, and he will soon be there."
+
+"What is that, Poll," said Mary, seriously alarmed, "I thought I heard
+the sound of low voices among the trees there. Who are they, or what is
+it?"
+
+"Make haste," said Poll, leading the way, "go round to your room and
+come to the window. It's an awful business--there is people there in the
+clump--be quick, and when you come to the window raise it, and I'll tell
+you more through it."
+
+Mary, in a state of great terror, felt that ignorant as she was of the
+dangers and difficulties by which she was surrounded, she had no other
+alternative than to be guided by Poll, who seemed to know the full
+extent of the mysterious circumstances to which she made such wild and
+startling allusions.
+
+Poll immediately proceeded to Miss M'Loughlin's bed-room, the window of
+which was soon opened by Mary herself, who with trembling hands raised
+it no higher than merely to allow the necessary communication between
+them.
+
+"You don't know, nor could you never suspect," said Poll, "the struggles
+that Misther Phil is makin' for you and yours. This night, maybe
+this hour, will show his friendship for your family. And now, Mary
+M'Loughlin, if you wish to have yourself and them safe--safe, I say,
+from his own father's blood-hounds," and this she hissed into her ear,
+squeezing her hand at the same time until it became painful--in a voice
+so low, earnest, and condensed, that it was scarcely in human nature to
+question the woman's sincerity; "if," she continued, "you wish to have
+them safe--and Harman safe, be guided by him, and let him manage it
+his own way. He will ask you to do nothing that is wrong or improper in
+itself; but as you love your own family--as you value Harman's life--let
+him act according to his own way, for he knows them he has to deal with
+best."
+
+"Wo--wo--heavy and bitter betide you, Poll Doolin, if you are now
+deceiving me, or prompting mo to do anything that is improper! I
+will not act in this business blindfold--neither I nor my family are
+conscious of evil, and I shall certainly acquaint them this moment with
+the danger that is over them."
+
+"By the souls of the dead," replied Poll, uttering the oath in Irish,
+"if you do what you say there will be blood shed this night--the blood,
+too, of the nearest and dearest to you! Do not be mad, I say, do not be
+mad!"
+
+"May God guide me?" exclaimed the distressed girl, bursting into tears;
+"for of myself I know not how to act."
+
+"Be guided by Mr. Phil," said she; "he is the only man living that can
+prevent the damnable work that is designed against your family this
+night."
+
+She had scarcely uttered the words when Phil came breathless to the
+window, and, as if moved by a sense of alarm, and an apprehension of
+danger still greater than that expressed by Poll herself, he exclaimed--
+
+"Miss M'Loughlin, it's no time for ceremony--my father's blood-hounds
+are at your father's door; and there is but one way of saving your
+family from violence and outrage. Excuse me--but I must pass in by this
+window. You don't know what I risk by it; but for your sake and theirs
+it must be done."
+
+Even as he spake, the trampling of horses feet and the jingling of arms
+were distinctly heard at M'Loughlin.'s door--a circumstance which so
+completely paralyzed the distracted girl, that she became perfectly
+powerless with affright. Phil availed himself of the moment, put his
+hand to the window, which he raised up, and deliberately entered, after
+which he shut it down. Poll, while he did so, coughed aloud, as if
+giving a signal; and in an instant, a number of individuals mostly
+females, approached the window, near enough to see young M'Clutchy
+enter, and shut the window after him.
+
+"Now," said Poll to the spectators, "I hope you're all satisfied; and
+you, James Harman, will believe your own eyes, if you don't Poll Doolin.
+Is that girl a fit wife for your cousin, do you think? Well, you're
+satisfied, are you? Go home now, and help forrid the match, if you can.
+You're a good witness of her conduct, at any rate."
+
+"I did not believe you, Poll," replied the young man whom she addressed;
+"but unfortunately I am now satisfied, sure enough. My own eyes cannot
+deceive me. Lost and unhappy girl! what will become of her? But that's
+not all--for she has proved herself treacherous, and deceitful, and
+worthless."
+
+"Ay," said the crones whom Poll had brought to witness what certainly
+seemed to them to be the innocent girl's shame and degradation--"ay,"
+they observed, "there's now an end to her character, at any rate.
+The pride of the M'Loughlins has got a fall at last--and indeed they
+desarved it; for they held their heads as upsettin' as if they were
+dacent Protestants, and them nothing but Papishes affeher all."
+
+"Go home, now," said Poll; "go home all of yez. You've seen enough,
+and too much. Throth I'm sorry for the girl, and did all I could, to
+persuade her against the step she tuck; but it was no use--she was more
+like one that tuck love powdhers from him, than a raisonable bein'."
+
+Harman's cousin had already departed, but in such a state of amazement,
+indignation, and disgust, that he felt himself incapable of continuing a
+conversation with any one, or of bestowing his attention upon any other
+topic whatsoever. He was thunderstruck--his very faculties were nearly
+paralyzed, and his whole mind literally clouded in one dark chaos of
+confusion and distress.
+
+"Now," said Poll to the females who accompanied her--"go home every one
+of yez; but, for goodness sake don't be spakin' of what you seen this
+night. The poor girl's correcther's gone, sure enough; but for all that,
+let us have nothing to say to her or Mr. Phil. It'll all come out time
+enough, and more than time enough, without our help; so, as I said,
+hould a hard cheek about it. Indeed it's the safest way to do so--for
+the same M'Loughlins is a dangerous and bitther faction to make or
+meddle with. Go off now, in the name of goodness, and say nothin' to
+nobody--barring, indeed, to some one that won't carry it farther."
+
+Whilst this dialogue, which did not occupy more than a couple of
+minutes, was proceeding, a scene of a different character took place
+in M'Loughlin's parlor, upon a topic which, at that period, was a very
+plausible pretext for much brutal outrage and violence on the part of
+the Orange yeomanry--we mean the possession, or the imputed
+possession, of fire-arms. Indeed the state of society in a great part of
+Ireland--shortly after the rebellion of ninety-eight--was then such as a
+modern conservative would blush for. An Orangeman, who may have happened
+to entertain a pique against a Roman Catholic, or sustained an injury
+from one, had nothing more to do than send abroad, or get some one to
+send abroad for him, a report that he had fire-arms in his possession.
+No sooner had this rumor spread, than a party of these yeomanry
+assembled in their regimentals, and with loaded fire-arms, proceeded,
+generally in the middle of the night or about day-break, to the
+residence of the suspected person. The door, if not immediately opened,
+was broken in--the whole house ransacked--the men frequently beaten
+severely, and the ears of females insulted by the coarsest and most
+indecent language.
+
+These scenes, which in nineteen cases out of twenty, the Orangemen got
+up to gratify private hatred and malignity, were very frequent, and
+may show us the danger of any government entrusting power, in whatever
+shape, or arms or ammunition, to irresponsible hands, or subjecting one
+party to the fierce passions and bigoted impulses of another.
+
+The noise of their horses' feet as they approached M'Loughlin's house
+in a gallop, alarmed that family, who knew at once that it was a
+domiciliary visit from M'Clutchy's cavalry.
+
+"Raise the window," said M'Loughlin himself, "and ask them what they
+want--or stay, open the door," he added at the same time to another,
+"and do not let us give them an excuse for breaking it in. It's the
+blood-hounds, sure enough," observed he, "and here they are."
+
+In a moment they were dismounted, and having found the hall door
+open, the parlor was crowded with armed men, who manifested all the
+overbearing insolence and wanton insult of those who know that they can
+do so with impunity.
+
+"Come, M'Loughlin," said Cochrane, now their leader, "you ribelly Papish
+rascal, produce your arms--for we have been informed that you have arms
+consaled in the house."
+
+"Pray who informed you, Mr. Cochrane?"
+
+"That's not your business, my man," replied Cochrane, "out with them
+before we search."
+
+"I'll tell you what, Cochrane," replied M'Loughlin, "whoever informed
+you that we have arms is a liar--we have no arms."
+
+"And right well they know that," said his son, "it's not for arms they
+come, but it's a good excuse to insult the family."
+
+His father (who, on looking more closely at them, now perceived that
+they were tipsy, and some of them quite drunk) though a man of singular
+intrepidity, deemed it the wisest and safest course to speak to them as
+civilly as possible.
+
+"I did'nt think, Tom Cochrane," said he, "that either I or any of my
+family, deserved such a visit as this from, I may say, my own door
+neighbors. It's not over civil, I think, to come in this manner,
+disturbing a quiet and inoffensive family."
+
+"What's the ribelly rascal sayin'?" asked a drunken fellow, who lurched
+across the floor, and would have fallen, had he not come in contact with
+a chest of drawers, "what, wha-at's he say-ayin? but I sa-ay here's to
+hell with the Po-po-pope--hurra!"
+
+"Ah?" said young M'Loughlin, "you have the ball at your own foot now,
+but if we were man to man, with equal weapons, there would be none of
+this swagger."
+
+"What's tha-at the young rible says," said 'the drunken fellow,
+deliberately covering him with his cavalry pistol--"another word, and
+I'll let day-light through you."
+
+"Come, Burke," said a man named Irwin, throwing up the muzzle of
+the pistol, "none o' this work, you drunken brute. Don't be alarmed,
+M'Loughlin, you shan't be injured."
+
+"Go go to h--l, George, I'll do what I--I li-like; sure 'all these
+ribels ha-hate King William that sa-saved us from brass money a-and
+wooden noggins--eh, stay, shoes it is; no matter, they ought to be
+brogues I think, for it--it's brogues--ay, brogues, the papish--it is,
+by hell, 'brogues and broghans an' a' the Pa-papishes wear--that
+saved us from bra-brass money, an--and wooden brogues, that's it--for
+dam-damme if ever the Papishers was da-dacent enough to wear brass
+shoes, never, by jingo; so, boys, it's brass brogues--ay, do they
+ha-hate King William, that put us in the pil-pillory, the pillory in
+hell, and the devils pel-peltin' us with priests,--hurra boys, recover
+arms--stand at aise--ha--ram down Catholics--hurra!"
+
+"Mr. M'Loughlin--"
+
+"Mislher M'Loughlin! ay, there's respect for a Pa-pish, an' from a
+purple man, too!"
+
+"You had better be quiet, Burke," retorted Irwin, who was a determined
+and powerful man.
+
+"For God's sake, gentlemen," said Mrs. M'Loughlin, "do not disturb or
+alarm our family--you are at liberty to search the house, but, as God
+is above us, we have no arms of any kind, and consequently there can be
+none in the house."
+
+"Don't believe her," said Burke, "she's Papish--" He had not time to add
+the offensive epithet, what ever it might have been, for Irwin--who, in
+truth, accompanied the party with the special intention of repressing
+outrage against the M'Loughlins whom he very much respected--having
+caught him by the neck, shook the words back again, as it were, into his
+very throat. "You ill-tongued drunken ruffian," said he, "if you don't
+hold your scoundrell tongue, I'll pitch you head foremost out of the
+house. We must search, Mrs. M'Loughlin," said Irwin, "but it will be
+done as quietly as possible."
+
+They then proceeded through all the rooms, into which, singular as it
+may appear, they scarcely looked, until they came into that in which we
+left Mary M'Loughlin and Phil. The moment this worthy gentleman heard
+their approach, he immediately shut the door, and, with all the seeming
+trepidation and anxiety of a man who feared discover bustled about, and
+made a show of preparing to resist their entrance. On coming to the
+door, therefore, they found it shut, and everything apparently silent
+within.
+
+"Open the door," said Irwin, "we want to search for arms."
+
+"Ah! boys," said Phil in a whisper through he key-hole, "pass on if you
+love me--I give you my word of honor that there's no arms here but a
+brace that is worth any money to be locked in."
+
+"We must open, Mr. Phil," said Sharpe, "you know our ordhers. By
+Japurs," said he, in a side voice to the rest, "the fellow wasn't
+boastin' at all; it's true enough--I'll uould goold he was right, and
+that we'll find her inside with him."
+
+"When I see it, I'll believe it," said Irwin, but not till then. Open,
+sir," said he, "open, if all's right."
+
+"Oh, d--n it, boys," said Phil again, "this is too bad--honor
+bright:--surely you wouldn't expose us, especially the girl." At the
+same time he withdrew his shoulder from the door, which flew open, and
+discovered him striving to soothe and console Miss M'Loughlin, who
+had not yet recovered her alarm and agitation, so as to understand the
+circumstances which took place about her. In fact, she had been in that
+description of excitement which, without taking away animation, leaves
+the female (for it is peculiar to the sex) utterly incapable of taking
+anything more than a vague cognizance of that which occurs before her
+eyes. The moment she and Phil were discovered together, not all Irwin's
+influence could prevent the party from indulging in a shout of triumph.
+This startled her, and was, indeed, the means of restoring her to
+perfect consciousness, and a full perception of her situation.
+
+"What is this?" she inquired, "and why is it that a peaceable house
+is filled with armed men? and you, Mr. M'Clutchy, for what treacherous
+purpose did you intrude into my private room?"
+
+M'Loughlin. himself, from a natural dread of collision between his
+sons and the licentious yeomanry, and trusting to the friendship and
+steadiness of Irwin, literally stood sentinel at the parlor door, and
+prevented them from accompanying the others in the search.
+
+"My darling Mary," said Phil, "it's too late now, you see, to speak in
+this tone--we're caught, that's all, found out, and be cursed to these
+fellows. If they had found us anywhere else but in your bed-room, I
+didn't so much care; however, it can't be helped now."
+
+As he spoke he raised his eye-brows from time to time at his companions,
+and winked with an expression of triumph so cowardly and diabolical,
+that it is quite beyond our ability to describe it. They, in the
+meantime, winked and nodded in return, laughed heartily, and poked one
+another in the ribs.
+
+"Bravo, Mr. Phil!--success, Captain!--more power to you!"
+
+"Come now, boys," said Phil, "let us go. Mary, my darling, I must leave
+you; but we'll meet again where they can't disturb us--stand around me,
+boys, for, upon my honor and soul, these hot-headed fellows of brothers
+of hers will knock my brain's out, if you don't guard me well; here,
+put me in the middle of you--good by, Mary, never mind this, we'll meet
+again."
+
+However anxious M'Loughlin had been to prevent the possibility of angry
+words or blows between his sons and these men still the extraordinary
+yell which accompanied the discovery of young M'Clutchy in his
+daughter's bedroom, occasioned him to relax his vigilance, and rush to
+the spot, after having warned and urged them to remain where they were.
+Notwithstanding his remonstrances, they followed his footsteps, and the
+whole family, in fact, reached her door as Phil uttered the last words.
+
+"Great God, what is this," exclaimed her father, "how came M'Clutchy,
+Val the Vulture's son, into my daughter's sleeping-room? How came you
+here, sir?" he added sternly, "explain it."
+
+Not even a posse of eighteen armed men, standing in a circle about him,
+each with a cocked and loaded pistol in his hand, could prevent the
+cowardly and craven soul of him from quailing before the eye of her
+indignant father. His face became like a sheet of paper, perfectly
+bloodless, and his eye sank as if it were never again to look from the
+earth, or in the direction of the blessed light of heaven.
+
+"Ah!" he proceeded, "you are, indeed, your treacherous, cowardly, and
+cruel father's son; you cannot raise your eye upon me, and neither
+could he. Mary," he proceeded, addressing his daughter, "how did this
+treacherous scoundrel get into your room? tell the truth--but that I
+need not add, for I know you will."
+
+His daughter had been standing for some time in a posture that betrayed
+neither terror nor apprehension. Raised to her full height, she looked
+upon M'Clutchy and his men alternately, but principally upon himself,
+with a smile which in truth was fearful. Her eyes brightened into clear
+and perfect fire, the roundness of her beautiful arm was distended
+by the coming forth of its muscles--her lips became firm--her cheek
+heightened in color--and her temples were little less than scarlet.
+There she stood, a concentration of scorn, contempt, and hatred the
+most intense, pouring upon the dastardly villain an unbroken stream of
+withering fury, that was enough to drive back his cowardly soul into the
+deepest and blackest recesses of its own satanic baseness. Her father,
+in fact, was obliged to address her twice, before he could arrest her
+attention; for such was the measureless indignation which her eye poured
+upon him, that she could scarcely look upon any other object.
+
+"My child, did you hear me?" said her father. "How did this heartless
+and down-looking scoundrel get into your apartment?"
+
+She looked quickly upon her father's features--
+
+"How?" said she; "how but by treachery, falsehood, and fraud! Is he not
+Val M'Clutchy's son, my dear father?"
+
+Her brothers had not yet uttered a syllable, but stood like their sister
+with flushed cheeks and burning indignation in their eyes. On hearing
+what their sister had just said, however, as if they had all been
+moved by the same impulse, thought, or determination--as in truth they
+were--their countenances became pale as death--they looked at each
+other significantly--then at Phil--and they appeared very calm, as
+if relieved--satisfied; but the expression of the eye darkened into a
+meaning that was dreadful to look upon.
+
+"That is enough, my child," replied her father; "I suppose, my friends,
+you are now satisfied--."
+
+"Yes, by h--l," shouted Burke, "we are now satisfied."
+
+Irwin had him again by the neck--"Silence," said he, "or, as heaven's
+above mo, I'll drive your brainless skull in with the butt of my
+pistol."
+
+"You are satisfied," continued M'Loughlin, "that there are no arms here.
+I hope you will now withdraw. As for you, treacherous and cowardly spawn
+of a treacherous and cowardly father, go home and tell him to do his
+worst.--that I scorn and defy him--that I will live to see him----; but
+I am wrong,he is below our anger, and I will not waste words upon him."
+
+"You will find you have used a thrifle too many for all that," said
+another of them; "when he hears them, you may be sure he'll put them in
+his pocket for you--as hear them he will."
+
+"We don't care a d--n," said another, "what he does to blackguard
+Papishes, so long as he's a right good Orangeman, and a right good
+Protestant, too."
+
+"Come now," said Irwin, "our duty is over--let us start for home; we
+have no further business here."
+
+"Won't you give us something to drink?" asked a new voice; "I think we
+desarve it for our civility. We neither broke doors nor furniture, nor
+stabbed either bed or bed-clothes. We treated you well, and if you're
+dacent you'll treat us well."
+
+"Confound him," said a fresh hand; "I'd not drink his cursed Papish
+whiskey. Sure the Papishes gets the priest to christen it for them. I
+wouldn't drink his cursed Papish whiskey."
+
+"No, nor I," said several voices;--upon which a loud and angry dispute
+arose among them, as to whether it were consistent with true loyalty,
+and the duties of a staunch Protestant and Orangeman, to drink 'Papish
+liquor,' as they termed it, at all.
+
+Irwin, who joined the negative party, insisted strongly that it would be
+disgraceful for any man who had drunk the glorious, pious, and immortal
+memory, ever to contaminate his loyal lips with whiskey that had been
+made a Papish of by the priest. This carried the argument, or otherwise
+it is hard to say what mischief might have arisen, had they heightened
+their previous intoxication.
+
+Phil, during this dialogue, still retained his place in the centre
+of his friends; but from time to time he kept glancing from under his
+eyebrows at M'Loughlin and his sons, in that spaniel-like manner, which
+betrays a consciousness of offence and a dread of punishment.
+
+Irwin now caused them to move off; and, indeed, scarcely anything could
+be more ludicrous than the utter prostration of all manly feeling upon
+the part of the chief offender. On separating, the same baleful
+and pallid glances were exchanged between the brothers, who clearly
+possessed an instinctive community of feeling upon the chief incident of
+the night--we mean that of finding M'Clutchy in their sister's bedroom.
+Irwin noticed their mute, motionless, but ghastly resentment, as did
+Phil himself, who, whether they looked at him or not, felt that their
+eyes were upon him, and that come what might, so long as he remained
+in the country he was marked as their victim. This consciousness of his
+deserts was not at all lessened by the observations of Irwin upon his
+conduct; for be it known, that although there subsisted a political bond
+that caused Phil and the violent spirits of the neighborhood to come
+frequently together, yet nothing could exceed the contempt which they
+felt for him in his private and individual capacity.
+
+"Brother M'Clutchy," said Irwin, "I'm afraid you've made a bad night's
+work of it. By the moon above us, I wouldn't take the whole Castle
+Cumber property and stand in your shoes from this night out."
+
+"Why so?" said Phil, who was now safe and beyond their immediate reach;
+"why so, Irwin? I'll tell you what, Irwin; d---- my honor, but I think
+you're cowardly. Did you see how steady I was to-night? Not a syllable
+escaped my lips; but, zounds, didn't you see how my eye told?"
+
+"Faith, I certainly did, brother Phil, and a devilish bad tale it told,
+too, for yourself. Your father has promised me a new lease, with your
+life in it; but after this night, and after what I saw, I'll beg to have
+your name left out of that transaction."
+
+"But didn't you see, George," returned Phil, "that a man of them
+durstn't look me in the face? They couldn't stand my eye; upon my honor
+they couldn't."
+
+"Ay," said Burke, "that's because they're Papishes. A rascally Papish
+can never look a Protestant in the face."
+
+"Well but," said Phil, "you would not believe that the girl was so fond
+of me as she is, until you saw it. I knew very well they had no arms;
+so, as I wished to give you an opportunity of judging for yourselves, I
+put the journey upon that footing."
+
+"Well," said Irwin, "we shall see the upshot--that's all."
+
+They then escorted Phil home, after which they dispersed.
+
+When M'Loughlin's family assembled in the parlor, after their departure,
+a deep gloom I brooded over them for some minutes. Mary herself was the
+first to introduce the incident which gave them so much distress, and in
+which she herself had been so painfully involved. She lost not a moment,
+therefore, in relating fully and candidly the whole nature of her
+intercourse with Poll Doolin, and the hopes held out to her of Harman's
+safety, through Phil M'Clutchy. At the same time, she expressed in
+forcible language, the sacrifice of feeling which it had cost her, and
+the invincible disgust with which she heard his very name alluded
+to. She then simply related the circumstance of his entering her
+room through the open window, and her belief, in consequence of the
+representations of Poll Doolin, that he did so out of his excessive
+anxiety to prevent bloodshed by the troopers--the trampling of whose
+horses' feet and the ringing of whose arms had so completely overpowered
+her with the apprehension of violence, that she became incapable of
+preventing M'Clutchy's entrance, or even of uttering a word for two or
+three minutes.
+
+"However," said she, "I now see their design, which was to' ruin my
+reputation, and throw a stain upon my character and good name. So far, I
+fear, they have succeeded." Tears then came to her relief, and she wept
+long and bitterly.
+
+"Do not let it trouble you, my darling," said her father. "Your
+conscience and heart are innocent, and that is a satisfaction greater
+than anything can deprive you of. You were merely wrong in not letting
+us know the conversation that took place between Poll Doolin and you;
+because, although you did not know it, we could have told you that Poll
+is a woman that no modest female ought to speak to in a private way.
+There was your error, Mary; but the heart was right with you, and
+there's no one here going to blame you for a fault that you didn't know
+to be one."
+
+Mary started on hearing this account of Poll Doolin, for she felt now
+that the interviews she held with her were calculated to heighten her
+disgrace, when taken in connection with the occurrence of the night.
+Her brothers, however, who knew her truth and many virtues, joined their
+parents in comforting and supporting her, but without the success which
+they could have wished. The more she thought of the toils and snares
+that had been laid for her, the more her perception of the calamity
+began to gain strength, and her mind to darken. She became restless,
+perplexed, and feverish--her tears ceased to flow--she sighed deeply,
+and seemed to sink into that most withering of maladies, dry grief,
+which, in her case, was certainly the tearless anguish of the heart.
+In this state she went to bed, conscious of her own purity, but by no
+means, in its full extent, of the ruined reputation to which she must
+awake on the succeeding day.
+
+Mary's brothers, with the exception of the words in which they joined
+their father and mother in consoling her, scarcely uttered a syllable
+that night--the same silent spirit, be it of good or evil, remained upon
+them. They looked at each other, however, from time to time, and seemed
+to need no other interpreter of what passed within them, but their own
+wild and deep-meaning glances. This did not escape their father, who was
+so much struck, perhaps alarmed, by it, that he very properly deemed it
+his duty to remonstrate with them on the subject.
+
+"Boys," said he, "I don't understand your conduct this night, and, above
+all, I don't understand your looks--or rather, I think I do, I'm afraid
+I do--but, listen to me, remember that revenge belongs to God. You know
+what the Scripture says, 'Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord, and I will
+repay it.' Leave that bad son of a worse father to God."
+
+"He has destroyed Mary's reputation," said John, the eldest; "I might,
+possibly, forgive him if he had killed her like a common murderer, but
+he has destroyed our pure-hearted sister's reputation, ha, ha, ha." The
+laugh that followed these last words came out so unexpectedly, abruptly,
+and wildly, that his father and mother both started. He then took the
+poker in his hands, and, with a smile at his brothers, in which much
+might be read, he clenched his teeth, and wound it round his arms with
+apparent ease. "If I gotten thousand pounds," said he, "I could not have
+done that two hours ago, but I can now--are you satisfied?" said he to
+his brothers.
+
+"Yes, John," they replied, "we are satisfied--that will do."
+
+"Yes," he proceeded, "I could forgive anything but that. The father's
+notice to us to quit the holding on which we and our forefathers lived
+so long, and expended so much money--and his refusal to grant us a
+lease, are nothing:--now we could forgive all that; but this,
+this--oh, I have no name for it--the language has not words to express
+it--but--well, well, no matter for the present. If the cowardly
+scoundrel would fight!--but he won't, for the courage is not in him."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XV.--Objects of an English Traveller
+
+--Introduction of a New Character--Correspondence between Evory Easel,
+Esq., and Sam Spinageberd, Esq.--Susanna and the Elder; or, the
+Conventicle in Trouble--Phils Gallantry and Courage.
+
+
+It was about eleven o'clock the next day that a person in the garb of a
+gentleman, that is, the garb was a plain one enough, but the air of the
+person who wore it was evidently that of a man who had seen and mingled
+in respectable life, was travelling towards Springfield, the residence
+of Mr. Hickman, when he overtook two females, one of whom was dressed in
+such a way as made it clear that she wished to avoid the risk of being
+known. She was a little above the middle size, and there could be
+little doubt, from the outline of her figure, that, in the opinion
+of unsuspicious people, she had reached the dignity of a matron. Her
+companion was dressed in faded black, from top to toe, and from the
+expression of her thin, sallow face, and piercing black eyes, there
+could be little doubt she had seen a good deal of the world as it exists
+in rustic life. The person who overtook these two females carried a
+portfolio, and appeared to observe the country and its scenery, as he
+went along with well marked attention.
+
+"Pray, ma'am," said he, "whose is that fine old building to the right,
+which appears to be going to ruin? It is evidently not inhabited."
+
+"You're a stranger in the place, then," replied the female, "or you
+surely might know Castle Cumber House, where old Tom Topertoe used
+to live before the union came. He was made a lord of for sellin' our
+parliament, and now his son, the present lord, is leadin' a blessed life
+abroad, for he never shows his face here."
+
+"He is an absentee, then?"
+
+"To be sure he is, and so is every man of them now, barrin' an odd
+one. The country's deserted, and although business is lookin' up
+a little--take your time, Susanna, we needn't be in sich a hurry
+now--although, as I said, business is lookin' up a little, still it's
+nothing to what it was when the gentry lived at home wid us."
+
+"Who is agent to this Lord Cumber, pray?"
+
+"A blessed boy, by all accounts, but that's all I'll say about him--I
+know him too well to make him my enemy."
+
+"Why, is he not popular--is he not liked by the tenantry?"
+
+"Oh, Lord, to be sure--they doat upon him; and, indeed, no wondher, he's
+so kind and indulgent to the poor. To tell you the truth, he's a great
+blessin' to the country."
+
+"That, to be sure, is very satisfactory--and, pray, if I may take the
+liberty, who is his law agent, or has he one?"
+
+"Why, another blessed--hem--a very pious devout man, named Mr. Solomon
+M'Slime, an attorney--but, indeed, an attorney that almost shames the
+Bible itself, he's so religious. Isn't he, Susanna?"
+
+"He hath good gifts; if he doth not abuse them."
+
+"Religion is certainly the best principle in life, if sincerely felt,
+and not prostituted and made a mask of."
+
+"A mask! isn't that, sir, a thing that people put on and off their face,
+according as it may suit them?"
+
+"Just so, madam; you have exactly described it."
+
+"Oh, the divil a mask ever he made of it, then, for he never lays it
+aside at all. He has kept it on so steadily, that, I'll take my oath,
+if he was to throw, it off now, he wouldn't know himself in the
+looking-glass, it's so long since he got a glimpse of his own face."
+
+"Lord Cumber must be a happy man to have two such valuable agents upon
+his property."
+
+"Talkin' of Lord Cumber and his property, if you wish to know all about
+them, here's your man comin' over by the cross road here--he's goin'
+to M'Clutchy's I suppose, and, as you appear to be goin' in the same
+direction, I'll hand you over to him. Good morrow, Darby?"
+
+"Good morrow, kindly, Poll, and--eh--who's this you've got wid you?" he
+continued, eyeing Susanna, "a stranger to me, any how. Well, Poll, and
+how are you?"
+
+"There's no use in complainin', Darby; I'm middlin'--and how is
+yourself?"
+
+"Throth, Poll, I've a lump in my stomach that I fear will settle me yet,
+if I don't get it removed somehow. But, sure, the hathens, I forgive
+them." In the meantime he slyly rubbed his nose and winked both eyes, as
+he looked towards Susanna, as much as to say, "I know all."
+
+Poll, however, declined to notice the recognition, but renewed the
+discourse--
+
+"Why, Darby, how did the lump come into your stomach? Faith, in these
+hard times, there's many a poor divel would be glad to have such a
+complaint--eh?"
+
+"And, is it possible you didn't hear it?" he asked with surprise,
+"howandever, you shall. I was carrying a letther from Mr. M'Slime, that
+good, pious crature"--another shrewd look at Susanna, "Mr. M'Slime to
+Mr. M'Clutchy, another good gintleman, too, and who should attack me
+on the way but that turncoat hathen Bob Beatty, wid a whole posse of
+idolathers at his heels. They first abused me because I left them in
+their darkness, and then went to search me for writs, swearin' that
+they'd make me ait every writ I happened to have about me. Now, I
+didn't like to let Mr. M'Slime's letther fall into their hands, and,
+accordingly, I tore it up and swallowed it, jist in ordher to disappoint
+the hathens. Howandever, I'm sufferin' for it, but sure you know, Poll,
+it's our duty--I don't mane yours, for you're a hathen and idolather
+still--but mine; it's my duty to suffer for the thruth, anyhow."
+
+Poll's laughter was loud and vehement on hearing these sentiments from
+a man she knew so well; but, to tell the truth, Darby, who felt that, in
+consequence of his last interview with Lucre, he was in for it, came to
+the resolution of doing it heavy, as they say, or, in other words, of
+going the whole hog.
+
+"This appears to be a strange country, observed the traveller.
+
+"Wait," said Poll, "till you come to know it, and you'll say that."
+
+"No, but wait," observed Darby, "till the spread comes, and then you may
+say it."
+
+"What do you mean by the spread?" asked! the stranger.
+
+"Why, the spread o' the gospel--of religion, to be shure," replied
+Darby; "and in this counthry," he added, "a glorious spread it is,
+the Lord be praised! Are you travellin far in this direction, sir, wid
+summission?"
+
+"I am going as far as Springfield, the residence of a Mr. Hickman, to
+whom I have a letter of introduction. Do you know him?"
+
+"He was an agent on this property," replied Darby; "but Mr. M'Clutchy
+came afther him; and, indeed, the tenants is mighty well satisfied wid
+the change. Hickman, sir, was next to a hathen--made no differ in life
+between an idolather and a loyal Protestant, but Mr. M'Clutchy, on the
+other hand, knows how to lean to his own, as he ought to do. And in
+regard o' that, I'd advise you when you see Mr. Hickman, jist to be on
+your guard as to what he may say about the Castle Cumber property,
+and them that's employed an it. Between you and me, he's not over
+scrupulous, and don't be surprised if he lays it hot and heavy on Mr.
+M'Clutchy and others, not forgettin' your humble sarvant, merely in
+regard of our honesty and loyalty, for I'm a staunch Protestant, myself,
+glory be to God, and will support the Castle Cumber inthrest through
+thick and thin. Now, sir," he added, "there's two ways to Hickman's; and
+between you and me agin' Mr. Hickman is a real gentleman, exceptin' his
+little failings about M'Clutchy; but who is widout them? I dunna, but it
+would be as well if he had remained agent still; and when you see him,
+if you happen to say that Darby O'Drive tould you so, I think he'll
+understand you. Well--there's two ways, as I said, to this place--one by
+this road, that turns to the right--which, indeed, is the shortest--the
+other is by Constitution Cottage, which is M'Clutchy's place, where I am
+goin' to."
+
+The stranger, after thanking Darby for his information, took the shorter
+road, and in about an hour or so reached Springfield.
+
+It is not our intention to detail his interview with Mr. Hickman. For
+the present it is sufficient to say, that he produced to that gentleman
+a letter of introduction from Lord Cumber himself, who removed all
+mystery from about him, by stating that he was an English artist, who
+came over on a foolish professional tour, to see and take sketches of
+the country, as it appeared in its scenery, as well as in the features,
+character, and costume of its inhabitants. He had also introductions to
+M'Clutchy, M'Slime, Squire Deaker, M. Lucre, and several other prominent
+characters of the neighborhood.
+
+As this gentleman amused himself by keeping an accurate and regular
+journal of all events connected with the Castle Cumber property, or
+which occurred on it, we feel exceedingly happy in being able to lay
+these important chronicles before our readers, satisfied as we are, that
+they will be valued, at least on the other side of the channel, exactly
+in proportion to the scanty opportunities he had of becoming acquainted
+with our language, manners, and character. The MS. is now before us,
+and the only privilege we reserve to ourselves is simply to give his
+dialogue an Irish turn, and to fill up an odd chasm here and there,
+occasioned by his ignorance of circumstances which have come to our
+knowledge through personal cognizance, and various other sources. The
+journal now in our possession is certainly the original one; but we know
+that copies of it were addressed successively, as the events occurred,
+to a gentleman in London, named Spinageberd, under cover to Lord Cumber
+himself, who kindly gave them the benefit of his frank, during the
+correspondence. Our friend, the journalist, as the reader will perceive,
+does not merely confine himself to severe facts, but gives us all the
+hints, innuendoes, and rumors of the day, both personal, religious and
+political. With these, our duty is simply to confirm or contradict them
+where we can, and where we cannot, to leave them just as we found them,
+resting upon their intrinsic claims to belief or otherwise. Having
+premised thus far, we beg leave to introduce to our reader's special
+acquaintance, Evory Easel, Esq., an English Artist and Savan, coming to
+_do_ a portion of the country, ladies and gentleman, as has been often
+done before.
+
+
+Batch No. I. Evory Easel, Esq., to Sam Spinageberd, Esq.
+
+"Old Spinageberd:
+
+"Here I am at last, in the land of fun and fighting---mirth and
+misery--orange and green. I would have written to you a month ago, but,
+that such a course was altogether out of my calculation. The moment I
+arrived, I came to the determination of sauntering quietly about, but
+confining myself to a certain locality, listening to, and treasuring
+up, whatever I could see or hear, without yet availing myself of Lord
+Cumber's introductions, in order that my first impressions of the
+country and the people, might result from personal observation, and not
+from the bias, which accounts heard here from either party, might be apt
+to produce. First, then, I can see the folly, not to say the injustice,
+which I ought to say, of a landlord placing his property under the
+management of a furious partisan, whose opinions, political and
+religious are not merely at variance with but, totally opposed to, those
+whose interests are entrusted to his impartiality and honesty. In the
+management of a property circumstanced as that of Castle Cumber is,
+where the population is about one-half Roman Catholic, and the
+other half Protestant and Presbyterian, between us, any man, my dear
+Spinageberd, not a fool or knave, must see the madness of employing a
+fellow who avows himself an enemy to the creed of one portion of the
+tenantry, and a staunch supporter of their opponents. Is this fair, or
+can justice originate in its purity from such a source? Is it reasonable
+to suppose that a Roman Catholic tenantry, who, whatever they may bear,
+are impatient of any insult or injustice offered to their creed, or,
+which is the same thing, to themselves on account of that creed,--is it
+reasonable, I say, to suppose that such a people could rest satisfied
+with a man who acts towards them only through the medium of his fierce
+and ungovernable prejudices? Is it not absurd to imagine for one moment
+that property can be fairly administered through such hands, and, if
+not property, how much less justice itself. You may judge of my
+astonishment, as an Englishman, when I find that the administration of
+justice is in complete keeping with that of property; for, I find it an
+indisputable fact, that nineteen magistrates, out of every twenty, are
+Orangemen, or party men of some description, opposed to Roman Catholic
+principles. And, yet, the Roman Catholic party are expected to exhibit
+attachment to the government which not merely deprives them of their
+civil rights, but literally places the execution of the laws in the
+hands of their worst and bitterest enemies. I say so deliberately; for
+I find that nothing so strongly recommends a man to the office
+of magistrate, or, indeed, to any office under government, as the
+circumstance of being a strong, conspicuous anti-Catholic. In writing
+to you, my dear Spinageberd, you may rest assured that I will give
+expression to nothing but truths which are too well known to be
+contradicted. The subject of property in Ireland, is one, which,
+inasmuch as it is surrounded with great difficulties, is also entitled
+to great consideration.
+
+"If there be any one prejudice in the character of an Irish peasant
+stronger or more dangerous than another--and he has many, they say, that
+are both strong and dangerous--it is that which relates to property and
+the possession of it. This prejudice is, indeed, so conscious of its own
+strength, and imbued in this opinion with so deep a conviction of its
+justice, that, in ordinary circumstances, it scorns the aid of all
+collateral and subordinate principles and even flings religion aside, as
+an unnecessary ally, justice, therefore, or oppression, or partiality in
+the administration of property, constitutes the greatest crime known to
+the agrarian law, and is consequently resisted by the most unmitigable
+and remorseless punishment. The peasant who feels, or believes himself
+to be treated with injustice, or cruelty, never pauses to reflect upon
+the religion of the man whom he looks upon as his oppressor. He will
+shoot a Catholic landlord or agent from behind a hedge, with as much
+good will as he would a Protestant. Indeed, in general, he will prefer a
+Protestant landlord to those of his own creed, knowing well, as he does,
+that the latter, where they are possessed of property, constitute the
+very worst class of landlords in the kingdom. As religion, therefore, is
+not at all necessarily mixed up with the Irishman's prejudices as this
+subject--it is consequently both dangerous and wicked to force it to an
+adhesion with so dreadful a principle as that which resorts to noon-day
+or midnight murder. This is unfortunately what such fellows as this
+M'Clutchy do. They find the Irish peasant with but one formidable
+prejudice in relation to property, and by a course of neglect,
+oppression, and rapacity, joined to all the malignant rancor of
+religious bigotry and party feeling, they leave him goaded by a hundred.
+I believe in my soul that there are many fire-brands like M'Clutchy in
+this country, who create the crime, in order to have the gratification
+of punishing it, and of wreaking a legal vengeance upon the unfortunate
+being who has been guilty of it, in order that they may recommend
+themselves as loyal men to the government of the day. If this be so, how
+can the country be peaceable? If it be peaceable, such men can have
+no opportunity of testing their loyalty, and if they do not test their
+loyalty, they can have no claim upon the government, and having no claim
+upon the government, they will get nothing from it. The day will come, I
+hope, when the very existence of men like these, and of the system which
+encouraged; them, will be looked upon with disgust and wonder--when the
+government of our country will make no invidious distinctions of creed
+or party, and will not base the administration of its principles upon
+the encouragement of hatred between man and man.
+
+"Hickman, the former agent, was the first to whom I presented Lord
+Cumber's letter. He is a gentleman by birth, education, and property; a
+man of a large and a liberal mind, well stored with information and has
+the character of being highly, if not punctiliously honorable. His age
+is about fifty-five, but owing to his regular and temperate habits of
+life, and in this country temperance is a virtue indeed, he scarcely,
+looks beyond forty. Indeed, I may observe by the way, that in this
+blessed year of ----, the after-dinner indulgences of the Irish
+squirearchy, who are the only class that remain in the country, resemble
+the drunken orgies of Silenus and his satyrs, more than anything else to
+which I can compare them. The conversation is in general licentious,
+and the drinking beastly; and I don't know after all, but the Irish are
+greater losers by their example than they would be by their absence.
+
+"On making inquiries into the state and management of this property,
+I found Hickman actuated by that fine spirit of gentlemanly delicacy,
+which every one, rich and poor, attribute to him. M'Clutchy having
+succeeded him, he very politely declined to enter into the subject
+at any length, but told me that I could be at no loss in receiving
+authentic information on a subject so much and so painfully canvassed.
+I find it is a custom in this country for agents to lend money to their
+employers, especially when they happen to be in a state of considerable
+embarrassment, by which means the unfortunate landlord is seldom able
+to discharge or change his agent, should he misconduct himself; and is
+consequently saddled with a vampire probably for life, or while there is
+any blood to be got out of him. Hickman, who has other agencies, makes
+it a point of principle, never to lend money to a landlord, by which
+means he avoids those imputations which are so frequently and justly
+brought against those who trade upon the embarrassments of their
+employers, in order to get them into their power.
+
+"May 13.--There are two newspapers in the town of Castle Cumber,
+conducted upon opposite principles: one of them is called _The Castle
+Cumber True Blue_, and is the organ of the Orange Tory party, and the
+High Church portion of the Establishment. The other advocates the cause
+of the Presbyterians, Dissenters, and gives an occasional lift to the
+Catholics. There is also a small party here, which, however, is gaining
+ground every day, called the Evangelical, an epithet adopted for the
+purpose of distinguishing them from the mere worldly and political High
+Churchmen, who, together with all the loyalty and wealth, have
+certainly all the indifference to religion, and most of the secular and
+ecclesiastical corruptions that have disgraced the Church, and left it
+little better than a large mass of bribes in the hands of the English
+minister. In such a state of things, you may judge how that rare grace,
+piety, is rewarded. There is, besides, no such thing to be found in
+this country as an Irish bishop, nor, is a bishop ever appointed for his
+learning or his piety; on the contrary, the unerring principle of their
+elevation to the mitre, is either political, or family influence, or
+both. I wish I could stop here but I cannot; there are, unfortunately,
+still more flagitious motives for their appointment. English ministers
+have been found who were so strongly influenced by respect for the
+religion and Church Establishment of the Irish, that they have not
+blushed to promote men, who were the convenient instruments of their
+own profligacy, to some of the richest sees in the kingdom. But I am
+travelling out of my record; so to return. The name of the second paper
+is the _Genuine Patriot, and Castle Cumber Equivocal_; this last journal
+is, indeed, sorely distressed between the Catholic and Evangelical
+parties. The fact is, that the Evangelicals entertain such a horror of
+Popery, as a spiritual abomination, that they feel highly offended that
+their advocates should also be the advocate of Old Broadbottom, as the
+Orangemen call the Pope; in consequence, they say, of his sitting upon
+seven hills. The editors of these papers are too decidedly opposed
+in general, to be on bad terms with each other; or, to speak more
+intelligibly, they are not on the same side, and consequently do not
+hate each other as they ought and would. The town of Castle Cumber, like
+every other country town, is one mass of active and incessant scandal;
+and, it not infrequently happens that the _True Blue_ will generously
+defend an individual on the opposite side, and the _Genuine Patriot_
+fight for a High Churchman. The whole secret of this, however is,
+that it is the High Churchman who writes in the _Patriot_, and the
+Evangelical in the _True Blue_, each well knowing that a defence by
+an opposing paper is worth more than one by his favorite organ. In the
+instance I am about to specify, however, the case was otherwise, each
+paper adhering to the individual of his own principles. On taking up the
+_True Blue_ I read the following passage, to which I have fortunately
+obtained a key that will make the whole matter quite intelligible. The
+article was headed:--
+
+"Susanna and the Elder; or the Conventicle in trouble.
+
+"'For some time past we regret, sincerely regret, as Christian men, that
+a rumor has, by degrees, been creeping into circulation, which we trust
+is, like most rumors of the kind, without foundation. The reputation
+of a very pious professional gentleman, well known for his zeal and
+activity in the religious world, is said to be involved in it, but, we
+trust, untruly. The gentleman in question, has, we know, many enemies;
+and we would fain hope, that this is merely some evil device fabricated
+by the adversaries of piety and religion. The circumstances alluded
+to are briefly these: Susanna, says the evil tongue of rumor, was a
+religious young person, residing in the character of children's maid in
+the family. She was of decided piety, and never known to be absent
+from morning and evening worship; it seems, besides, that she is
+young, comely, and very agreeable, indeed, to the mere, secular eye her
+symmetry had been remarkable, but indeed female graces are seldom long
+lived; she is not now, it seems, in the respectable gentleman's family
+alluded to, and her friends are anxious to see her, but cannot. So the
+idle story goes, but we hesitate not to say that it originates in the
+vindictive malice of some concealed enemy, who envies the gentleman
+in question his pure and unsullied reputation. We would not ourselves
+advert to it at all, but that we hope it may meet his eye, and prompt
+him to take the earliest measures to contradict and refute it, as we are
+certain he will and can do.'
+
+"This was all exceedingly kind, and certainly so very charitable that
+the Equivocal could not, with any claim to Christian principles, suffer
+itself to be outdone in that blessed spirit of brotherly love and
+forgiveness, which, it trusted, always characterized its pages.
+
+"'We are delighted,' it said, 'at the mild and benevolent tone in which,
+under the common misconception, a little anecdote, simple and harmless
+in itself, was uttered. Indeed, we smiled--but we trust the smile
+was that of a Christian--on hearing our respected and respectable
+contemporary doling out the mistake of a child, with such an air
+of solemn interest in the reputation of a gentleman whose name and
+character are beyond the reach of either calumny or envy. The harmless
+misconception on which, by a chance expression, the silly rumor was
+founded, is known to all the friends of the gentleman in question. He
+himself, however, being one of those deep-feeling Christians, who are
+not insensible to the means which often resorted to, for wise purposes,
+in order to try us and prove our faith, is far from looking on the
+mistake--as, in the weakness of their own strength, many would as a
+thing to be despised and contemned. No; he receives it as a warning,
+it may be for him to be more preciously alive to his privileges, and to
+take care when he stands lest he might fall. Altogether, therefore, he
+receives this thing as an evidence that he is cared for, and that it is
+his duty to look upon it as an awakening of his, perhaps, too worldly
+and forgetful spirit, to higher and better duties; and if so, then will
+it prove a blessing unto him, and will not have been given in vain. We
+would not, therefore, be outdone even in charity by our good friend of
+the _True Blue_; and we remember that when about six months ago, he was
+said to have been found in a state scarcely compatible with sobriety,
+in the channel of Castle Cumber main street, opposite the office door of
+the Equivocal, on his way home from an Orange lodge, we not only aided
+him, as was our duty, but we placed the circumstance in its proper
+light--a mere giddiness in the head, accompanied by a total prostration
+of physical strength, to both of which even the most temperate, and
+sober, are occasionally liable. The defect of speech, accompanied by
+a strong tendency to lethargy, we accounted for at the time, by a
+transient cessation or paralysis of the tongue, and a congestion of
+blood on the brain, all of which frequently attack persons of the
+soberest habits. Others might have said it was intoxication, or
+drunkenness, and so might his character have been injured; but when his
+incapacity to stand was placed upon its proper footing, the matter was
+made perfectly clear, and there was, consequently, no doubt about it. So
+easy is it to distort a circumstance, that is harmless and indifferent
+in itself, into a grievous fault, especially where there is not
+Christian charity to throw a cloak over it.'
+
+"'Such is a specimen of two paragraphs--one from each paper; and
+considering that the subject was a delicate one, and involving; the
+character of a professor, we think it was as delicately handled on both
+sides as possible. I am told it is to be publicly alluded to to-morrow
+in the congregation of which the subject of it, a Mr. Solomon M'Slime,
+an attorney, is an elder--a circumstance which plainly accounts for the
+heading of the paragraph in the True Blue.
+
+"There were, however, about a week or ten days ago, a couple of
+paragraphs in the _True Blue_--which, by the way, is Mr. M'Clutchy's
+favorite paper--of a very painful description. There is a highly
+respectable man here, named M'Loughlin--and you will please to observe,
+my dear Spinageberd, that this M'Loughlin is respected and well spoken
+of by every class and party; remember that, I say. This man is a partner
+with a young fellow named Harman, who is also very popular with parties.
+Harman, it seems, was present at some scene up in the mountains, where
+M'Clutchy's blood-hounds, as they are called, from their ferocity when
+on duty, had gone to take a man suspected for murder. At all events, one
+of the blood-hounds in the straggle--for they were all armed, as they
+usually are--lost his life by the discharge--said to be accidental,
+but sworn to be otherwise, before Mr. Magistrate M'Clutchy--of a loaded
+carbine. He was to have been tried at the assizes which have just
+terminated; but his trial has been postponed until the next assizes,
+it is said for want of sufficient evidence. Be this as it may, it seems
+that M'Loughlin's beautiful daughter was soon to have been married
+to her father's young partner, now in prison. The unfortunate girl,
+however, manifested the frailty of her sex: for while her former lover
+was led to suppose that he possessed all the fulness of her affection,
+she was literally carrying on a private and guilty intrigue with one of
+the worst looking scoundrels that ever disgraced humanity--I mean Phil,
+as he is called, only son to Valentine M'Clutchy--who, by the way, goes
+among the people under the sobriquet of Val the Vulture. I need not say
+what the effects of this young woman's dishonor have produced upon
+her family. Young M'Clutchy was seen by several to go into her own
+apartment, and was actually found striving to conceal himself there by
+his father's blood-hounds who had received information that M'Loughlin
+had fire-arms in his house. The consequence is, that the girl's
+reputation is gone for ever. 'Tis true the verdict against her is not
+unanimous. There is a woman, named Poll Doolin, mentioned, who bears a
+most unrelenting enmity against M'Loughlin and his family, for having
+transported one of her sons. She is said to have been the go-between
+on this occasion, and that the whole thing is a cowardly and diabolical
+plot between this Phil--whom the girl, it seems, refused to marry
+before--and herself. I don't know how this may be; but the damning fact
+of this ugly scoundrel having been seen to go into her room, with her
+own consent, and being found there, attempting to conceal himself, by
+his father's cavalry, overweighs, in my opinion, anything that can
+be said in her favor. As it is, the family are to be pitied, and she
+herself, it seems, is confined to her bed with either nervous or brain
+fever, I don't know which--but the disclosure of the intrigue has
+had such an effect upon her mind, that it is scarcely thought she will
+recover it. Every one who knew her is astonished at it; and what adds to
+the distress of her and her family is, that Harman, whose cousin was
+an eye-witness to the fact of her receiving Phil into her chamber, has
+written both to her and them, and that henceforth he renounces her for
+ever.
+
+"There have also been strong rumors touching the insolvency of the firm
+of M'Loughlin and Harman, and, it is to be feared, that this untoward
+exposure will injure them even in a worldly point of view. In the _True
+Blue_ there are two paragraphs of the following stamp--paragraphs that
+certainly deserve to get the ears of those who either wrote or published
+them cropped off their heads.
+
+"Unprecedented Feat of Gallantry and Courage!
+
+"Public rumor has already exonerated us from the delicacy which would
+otherwise have restrained our pen from alluding to a feat of gallantry
+and courage performed by a young gentleman who does not live a hundred
+miles from Constitution Cottage. It seems that a _laison_ once subsisted
+between him and a young lady of great personal attractions, and, at
+that time, supposed (erroneously) to be entitled to a handsome dowry,
+considering that the fair creature worships at the Mallet Office, and
+bestows, in the exercise of her usual devotion, some soft blows upon
+her fair, but not insensible bosom. Our readers will understand us. The
+young gentleman in question, however, hearing that the lady had been
+recently betrothed to a partner of her father's, prompted by that spirit
+of gallant mischief or dare-devilism for which he is so remarkable, did,
+under very dangerous circumstances, actually renew his intimacy, and
+had several stolen, and, consequently, sweet meetings with the charming
+creature. This, however, reached his father's ears, who, on proper
+information, despatched a troop of his own cavalry to bring the young
+gentleman home--and so accurate was the intelligence received, that,
+on reaching her father's house, they went directly to the young lady's
+chamber, from which they led out the object of their search, after
+several vain but resolute attempts to exclude them from his bower
+of love. This unfortunate discovery has occasioned a great deal of
+embarrassment in the family, and broken up the lady's intended marriage
+with her father's partner. But what strikes us, is the daring courage of
+the hero who thus gallantly risked life and limb, rather than that the
+lady of his love should pine in vain. Except Leander's, of old, we know
+of no such feat of love and gallantry in these degenerate days.'
+
+"This other is equally malignant and vindictive
+
+"'Messrs. Harman and M'Loughlin.
+
+"'We shall be very happy, indeed exceedingly so, to contradict
+an unpleasing rumor, affecting the solvency of our respected
+fellow-townsmen, Messrs. Harman and M'Loughlin. We. do not ourselves
+give any credit to such rumors; but how strange, by the way, that such
+an expression should drop from our pen on such a subject? No, we
+believe them to be perfectly solvent; or, if we err in supposing so, we
+certainly err in the company of those on whose opinions, we, in general,
+are disposed to rely. We are inclined to believe, and we think, that for
+the credit of so respectable a firm, it is our duty to state it, that
+the rumor affecting their solvency has been mistaken for another of an
+almost equally painful character connected with domestic life, which,
+by the unhappy attachment of ****** to a young gentleman of a different
+creed, and proverbially loyal principles, has thrown the whole family
+into confusion and distress.'
+
+"These, my dear Spinageberd, are the two paragraphs, literally
+transcribed, from the True Blue, and I do not think it necessary to
+add any comment to them. On tomorrow I have resolved to attend the
+Dissenting Chapel, a place of worship where I have never yet been, and
+I am anxious, at all events, to see what the distinctions are between
+their mode of worship and that of the Church of Englandism. Besides,
+to admit the truth, I am also anxious to see how this Solomon--this
+religious attorney, whose person I well know--will deport himself under
+circumstances which assuredly would test the firmness of most men,
+unless strongly and graciously sustained, as they say themselves."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XVI.--Solomon in Trouble
+
+--Is Publicly Prayed for--His Gracious Deliverance, and Triumph--An
+Orangeman's View of Protestantism and of Popery--Phil's Discretion and
+Valor.
+
+
+"Monday, half-past eleven o'clock.
+
+"My Dear Spinageberd:
+
+"In pursuance of my intention, I attended the Castle Cumber
+Meeting-house yesterday, and must confess that I very much admire the
+earnest and unassuming simplicity of the dissenting ritual. They have
+neither the epileptical rant nor goatish impulses of the Methodists,
+nor the drowsy uniformity from which not all the solemn beauty of the
+service can redeem the Liturgy of the Church of England. In singing, the
+whole congregation generally take a part--a circumstance which, however
+it may impress their worship with a proof of sincerity, certainly adds
+nothing to its melody.
+
+"The paragraph of 'Susanna and the' Elder' having taken wind, little
+Solomon, as they call him, attended his usual seat, with a most unusual
+manifestation of grace and unction beaming from his countenance. He
+was there early; and before the service commenced he sat with his hands
+locked in each other, their palms up, as was natural, but his eyes cast
+down, in peaceful self-communion, as was evident from the divine and
+ecstatic smile with which, from time to time, he cast up his enraptured
+eyes to heaven, and sighed--sighed with an excess of happiness which was
+vouchsafed to but few, or, perhaps, for those depraved and uncharitable
+sinners who had sent abroad such an ungodly scandal against a champion
+of the faith. At all events, at the commencement of the service, the
+minister--a rather jolly-looking man, with a good round belly apparently
+well lined--read out of a written paper, the following short address to
+those present:--
+
+"'The prayers of this congregation are requested for one of its most
+active and useful members, who is an elder thereof. They are requested
+to enable him to fight the good fight, under the sore trials of a wicked
+world which have come upon him in the shape of scandal. But inasmuch as
+these dispensations are dealt out to us often for our soul's good and
+ultimate comfort, the individual in question doth not wish you to pray
+for a cessation of this, he trusts, benign punishment. He receives it
+as a token--a manifestation that out of the great congregation of the
+faithful that inherit the church, he--an erring individual--a frail
+unit, is not neglected nor his spiritual concerns overlooked. He
+therefore doth not wish you to say, "cease Lord, this evil unto this
+man," but yea, rather to beseech, that if it be for his good, it may
+be multiplied unto him, and that he may feel it is good for him to be
+afflicted. Pray, therefore, that he may be purged by this tribulation,
+and that like those who were placed in the furnace, nine times heated,
+he may come out without a hair of his head singed--unhurt and rejoicing,
+ready again to fight the good fight, with much shouting, the rattling of
+chariots, and the noise of triumph and victory.'
+
+"During the perusal of this all eyes were turned upon Solomon, whose
+face was now perfectly seraphic, and his soul wrapped up into the ninth
+heaven. Of those around him it was quite clear that he was altogether
+incognizant. His eyelids were down as before, but the smile on his face
+now was a perfect glory; it was unbroken, and the upturning of the
+eyes proceeded from, and could be, nothing less than a glimpse of that
+happiness which no other eye ever had seen but that of Solomon's at
+that moment, and which, it was equally certain, no heart but his could
+conceive. When it was concluded the psalm commenced, and if there had
+been any doubt before, there could be none now that his triumph was
+great, and the victory over the world and his enemies obtained, whilst a
+fresh accession of grace was added to that which had been vouchsafed him
+before. He led the psalm now with a fervor of spirit and fulness of lung
+which had never been heard in the chapel before; nay, he moved both head
+and foot to the time, as if he had only to wish it, and he could ascend
+at once to heaven. This, indeed, was a victory, this was a moment of
+rejoicing--here was the Christian soldier rattling home in his triumphal
+chariot, to the sound of the trumpet, sackbut, psaltery, and dulcimer.
+
+"When the service was over he shook hands with as many of his friends as
+he could, exclaiming, 'oh, what a blessed day has this been to me! what
+a time of rejoicing; indeed it is good to be tried. Truly the sources of
+comfort were opened to my soul on this day more abundantly than I dared
+to hope for--I feel my privileges more strongly, and more of the new man
+within me--I am sustained and comforted, and feel that it was good for
+me to be here this day--I did not hope for this, but it was graciously
+granted to me, notwithstanding. How good, how heavenly a thing it is to
+be called upon to suffer, especially when we are able to do so in faith
+and obedience. May He be praised for all. Amen! Amen!'
+
+"Now, my dear friend, who will say, after all this, that the stage is
+the great school for actors? who ever saw on the boards of a theatre a
+more finished performance than that of Solomon M'Slime? It so happens
+that I am acquainted with the whole circumstances, and, consequently,
+can fully appreciate his talents. In the mean time I am paying a visit
+of business to M'Clutchy to-morrow, that I may have an opportunity of
+a nearer inspection into his character. He is said to be an able, deep,
+vindictive, and rapacious man--cowardly, but cruel--treacherous, but
+plausible; and without the slightest remorse of conscience to restrain
+him from the accomplishment of any purpose, no matter how flagitious.
+And, yet, the cure for all this, in the eyes of his own party, is his
+boundless loyalty, and his thorough Protestantism. No wonder the church
+should be no longer useful or respected when she is supported only by
+such Protestants as Valentine M'Clutchy, and his class."
+
+
+"Thursday.--At a little after ten, I waited upon this, famous agent to
+the Castle Cumber property, and found him in his office, looking over an
+account-book with his son. He had a bad face--black, heavy, over-hanging
+eyebrows, and an upper lip that quivers and gets pale when engaged even
+in earnest conversation--his forehead is low, but broad and massive,
+indicating the minor accessories of intellect, together with great
+acuteness and cunning; altogether he had the head and face of a felon.
+For purposes which you shall know hereafter, I declined presenting Lord
+Cumber's letter of introduction, which I calculated would put the
+fellow on his guard, deeming it, more prudent to introduce myself as a
+stranger, anxious, if I could do so conveniently, to settle somewhere
+in the neighborhood. The son's back was towards me when I entered, and
+until he had finished the account at which he had been engaged, which
+he did by a good deal of altering and erasing, he did not deem, it worth
+while to look about him even at the entrance of a stranger. Having heard
+me express my intention of looking for a residence in the vicinity, he
+did me the honor of one of the most comical stares I ever saw. He is a
+tall fellow, about six feet, his shoulders are narrow, but round as the
+curve of a pot--his neck is, at least, eighteen inches in length, on the
+top of which stands a head, somewhat of a three-cornered shape, like a
+country barber's wig block, only not so intelligent looking. His nose is
+short, and turned up a little at the top--his squint is awful, but then,
+it is peculiar to himself; for his eyes, instead of looking around them
+as such eyes do, appear to keep a jealous and vigilant watch of each
+other across his nose--his chin is short and retreating, and from, his
+wide mouth project two immeasurable buck teeth, that lie together like
+a'pair of tiles upon a dog kennel. Heavens! that a beautiful girl--as
+it is said everywhere Miss M'Loughlin is, and until now proverbially
+correct in her conduct and deportment--should admit such a misshapen
+kraken as this into her apartment, and at night, too! After having
+stared at me for some time with a great deal of cunning and a great deal
+of folly in his countenance, he again began to pore over the blank pages
+of his book, as if he had been working out some difficult calculation.
+
+"'And,' said the father, after we had been chatting for some time, 'have
+you seen anything in the neighborhood that you think would suit you?'
+
+"'I am too much of a stranger, sir,' I replied, 'to be able to answer in
+the affirmative--but I admire the country and the scenery, both of
+which in this immediate neighborhood, are extremely beautiful and
+interesting.'
+
+"'They are so,' he replied, 'and the country is a fine one, certainly.'
+
+"'Ay,' said Phil, 'only for these cursed Papists.'
+
+"As he spoke he looked at me very significantly, and drew three of his
+yellow fingers across his chin, but added nothing more. This, by the
+way, he did half a dozen times, and, on mentioning the circumstance, it
+has been suggested to me that it must have been the sign by which one
+Orangeman makes himself known to another.
+
+"'The Papists,' I replied, 'do not enter into any objection of mine
+against a residence in the neighborhood; but, as you, Mr. M'Clutchy, as
+agent of this fine property, must be well acquainted with the state
+and circumstances of the country, you would really confer a favor by
+enabling me, as a stranger, to form correct impressions of the place and
+people.'
+
+"'Then,' said he, 'in the first place allow me to ask what are your
+politics? As an Englishman, which I perceive you are by your accent--I
+take it for granted that you are a Protestant.'
+
+"'I am a Protestant, certainly,' I replied, 'and a Church of England
+one.'
+
+"'Ay, but that's not enough,' said Phil, 'that won't do, my good sir;
+d--n my honor if it would be worth a fig in this country.'
+
+"'I am very ignorant of Irish politics, I admit,' said I, 'but, I trust,
+I am in good hands for the receipt of sound information on the subject.'
+
+"'No, no,' continued Phil, 'that's nothing--to be a mere Church of
+England man, or a Church of Ireland man either, would never do here, I
+tell you. Upon my honor, but that's doctrine.'
+
+"'Well, but what would do,' I inquired; for I certainly felt a good deal
+of curiosity to know what he was coming to.
+
+"'The great principle here,' said the son, 'is to hate and keep down the
+Papists, and you can't do that properly unless you're an Orangeman. Hate
+and keep down the Papists, that's the true religion, I pledge you my
+honor and reputation it is.'
+
+"'You put the principle too strong, and rather naked, Phil,' observed
+the father; 'but the truth is, sir,' he added, turning to me, 'that you
+may perceive that fine spirit of Protestant enthusiasm in the young man,
+which is just now so much wanted in, and so beneficial to the country
+and the government. We must, sir, make allowance for this in the
+high-spirited and young, and ardent; but, still, after deducting a
+little for zeal and enthusiasm, he has expressed nothing but truth--with
+the exception, indeed, that we are not bound to hate them, Phil; on the
+contrary, we are bound to love our enemies.'
+
+"'Beggingyour pardon, father, I say we are bound to hate them.'
+
+"'Why, so, sir, may I ask,' said I.
+
+"'Why so--why because--because--they--because as--aren't they Papists,
+and is not that sufficient--and, again, here's another reason still
+stronger, aren't we Orangemen? Now, sir, did you, or any one, even hear
+of such a thing as a good, sound Orangeman loving a Papist--a bloody
+Papist. My word and honor, but that's good!'
+
+"'The truth is,' said the father, 'that the turbulence of their
+principles has the country almost ripe for insurrection. I have myself
+received above half a dozen notices, and my son there, as many; some
+threatening life, others property, and I suppose the result will be,
+that I must reside for safety in the metropolis. My house is this moment
+in a state of barricade--look at my windows, literally checkered with
+stancheon bars--and as for arms, let me see, we have six blunderbusses,
+eight cases of pistols, four muskets, two carbines, with a variety of
+side arms, amounting to a couple of dozen. Such, sir, is the state of
+the country, owing, certainly, as my son says, to the spirit of Popery,
+and to the fact of my discharging my duty toward Lord Cumber with
+fidelity and firmness!
+
+"'In that case,' I observed, 'there is little to induce any man
+possessing some property to reside here.'
+
+"'Certainly nothing,' he replied, 'but a great many inducements to get
+out of it.'
+
+"'Does Lord Cumber ever visit his property here?' I asked.
+
+"'He has too much sense,' returned the agent; 'but now that parliament
+is dissolved, he will come over to the Election. We must return either
+him or his brother the Hon. Dick Topertoe, who, I understand, has no
+fixed principles whatsoever.'
+
+"'But why return such a man? Why not put up and support one of your own
+way of thinking?'
+
+"'Why, because in the first place, we must keep out Hartley, who is
+a liberal, and also an advocate for emancipating Popery; and, in the
+second, if it be bad to have no principles, like Topertoe, it is worse
+to have bad ones like Hartley. He'll do to stop a gap until we get
+better, and then unless he comes round, we'll send him adrift.'
+
+"'Is he in Ireland? I mean does he reside in the country?'
+
+"'Not he, sir; it seems he's a wayward devil, very different from the
+rest of the family--and with none of the dash and spirit of the Topertoe
+blood in him.'
+
+"'In that case, he will be no great loss; but Mr. M'Clutchy,
+notwithstanding all you have said I am so much charmed with the beauty
+of the country, that I would gladly settle in the neighborhood, if I
+could procure a suitable residence, together with a good large farm,
+which I would rent. Is there anything in that way vacant on the estate?'
+
+"'At present, sir, nothing; but it is possible there may be, and if you
+should remain in the country, I shall feel great pleasure in acquainting
+you.'
+
+"'Because I was told,' I continued, 'that there are two large farms,
+either of which would suit me admirably; but I dare say I have been
+misinformed. I allude to Mr. M'Loughlin's and Herman's holdings, which I
+understand are out of lease.'
+
+"'Yes,' said he, sighing, 'I am sorry for those men; but the truth is,
+my good sir, that in this affair I am not a free agent. Lord Cumber,
+in consequence of some very accurate information that reached him, has
+determined to put them out of their holdings, now that their leases
+have expired. I am, you know, but his agent, and cannot set up my will
+against his.'
+
+"'But could you not take their part?--could you not remonstrate with
+him, and set him right, rather than see injustice done to innocent men?'
+
+"'You surely cannot imagine, sir, that I have not done so. Earnestly,
+indeed, have I begged of him to reconsider his orders, and to withdraw
+them; but like all the Topertoes, he is as obstinate as a mule. The
+consequence is, however, that whilst the whole blame of the transaction
+is really his, the odium will fall upon me, as it always does.'
+
+"Here Phil, the son, who had been for the last few minutes paring away
+the pen with his knife, gave a sudden yelp, not unlike what a hound
+would utter when he gets an unexpected cut of the whip. It was certainly
+meant for a laugh, as I could perceive by the frightful grin which drew
+back his lips I from his yellow projecting tusks, as his face appeared
+to me in the looking-glass--a fact which he seemed to forget.
+
+"'Then, Mr. M'Clutchy, the farms of these men, are they disposed of?'
+
+"'They are disposed of; and, indeed, in any event, I could not, in
+justice to the landlord's interests, receive the offers which M'Loughlin
+and Harman made me. My son here, who, as under agent feels it necessary
+to reside on the property, and who is about to take unto himself a wife
+besides, has made me a very liberal offer for M'Loughlin's holding--one,
+indeed, which I did not feel myself at liberty to refuse. Mr. M'Slime,
+our respected law agent, I also considered a very proper tenant for
+Harman's; and that matter is also closed--by which means I secured two
+respectable, safe, and unobjectionable tenants, on whose votes, at all
+events, we can reckon, which was more than we could do with the other
+two--both of whom had expressed their determination to vote in favor of
+Hartley.'
+
+"'What are the religious opinions of those men, Mr. M'Clutchy?'
+
+"'M'Loughlin is a Papist--'
+
+"'But Harman is worse,' interrupted Phil; 'for he's a Protestant, and no
+Orangeman.'
+
+"'I thought,' I replied, 'that nothing could be so bad as a Papist, much
+less worse.'
+
+"'Oh yes,' said Phil, 'that's worse; because one always knows that
+a Papist's a Papist--but when you find a Protestant who is not an
+Orangeman, on my sacred honor, you don't know what to make of him. The
+Papists are all cowards, too.'
+
+"'Then,' said I, 'you have the less difficulty in keeping them down.'
+
+"'Upon my soul and honor, sir, you don't know how a naked Papist will
+run from a gun and bayonet. I have often seen it.'
+
+"At this moment a tap came to the door, and a servant man, in Orange
+livery, announced a gentleman to see Mr. Philip M'Clutchy. I rose to
+take my departure; but Phil insisted I should stop.
+
+"'Don't go, sir,' said he; 'I have something to propose to you by and
+by.' I accordingly took my seat.
+
+"When the gentleman entered, he looked about, and selecting Phil, bowed
+to him, and then to us.
+
+"'Ah, Mr. Hartley! how do you do?' said Val, shaking hands with him;
+'and how is your cousin, whom we hope to have the pleasure of beating
+soon?--ha, ha, ha. Take a seat.'
+
+"'Thank you,'said the other; 'but the fact is, that time's just now
+precious, and I wish to have a few words with Mr. Philip here.'
+
+"'What is it, Hartley? How are you, Hartley? I'm glad to see you.'
+
+"'Quite well, Phil; but if you have no objection, I would rather speak
+to you in another room. It's a matter of some importance, and of some
+delicacy, too.'
+
+"'Oh, curse the delicacy, man; out with it.'
+
+"'I really cannot, Phil, unless by ourselves.'
+
+"They both then withdrew to the back parlor, where, after a period of
+about ten minutes, Phil came rushing in with a face on him, and in a
+state of trepidation utterly indescribable; Hartley, on the other hand,
+cool and serious, following him.
+
+"'Phil,' said he, 'think of what you are about to do. Don't exclude
+yourself hereafter from the rank and privileges of a gentleman.
+Pause, if you respect yourself, and regard your reputation as a man of
+courage.'
+
+"'D----d fine talk in you--who--who's a fire-eater, Hartley. What do
+you think, father--?' Hartley put, or rather attempted to put his hand
+across his mouth, to prevent his cowardly and degrading communication;
+but in vain. 'What do you think, father,' he continued, 'but there's
+that cowardly scoundrel, young M'Loughlin, has sent me a challenge?
+Isn't the country come to a pretty pass, when a Papist durst do such a
+thing?'
+
+"'Why not a Papist?' said Hartley. 'Has not a Papist flesh, and blood,
+and bones, like another man? Is a Papist to be insensible to insult? Is
+he to sit down tamely and meanly under disgrace and injury? Has he no
+soul to feel the dignity of just resentment? Is he not to defend his
+sister, when her character has been basely and treacherously ruined? Is
+he to see her stretched on her death-bed, by your villainy, and not to
+avenge her? By heavens, if, under the circumstances of the provocation
+which you gave him, and his whole family, he would be as mean and
+cowardly a poltroon as I find you to be--if he suffered--'
+
+"'Do you call me a poltroon?' said Phil, so shivering and pale, that his
+voice betrayed his cowardice.
+
+"'Yes,' said the other, 'as arrant a poltroon as ever I met. I tell
+you, you must either fight him, or publish a statement of your own
+unparalleled disgrace. Don't think you shall get out of it.'
+
+"'I tell you, sir,' said Val, 'that he shall not fight him. I would not
+suffer a son of mine to put himself on a level with such a person as
+young M'Loughlin.'
+
+"'On a level with him he never will be, for no earthly advantage could
+raise him to it; but pray, Mr. M'Clutchy, who are you?'
+
+"'Val's brow fell, and his lip paled and quivered, as the fine young
+fellow looked him steadily in the face.
+
+"'Never mind him, father,' said Phil 'you know he's a fire-eater.'
+
+"'There is no use in altercations of this sort,' replied Val, calmly.
+'As for young M'Loughlin, or old M'Loughlin, if they think themselves
+injured, they have the laws of the land to appeal to for redress. As for
+us, we will fight them with other weapons besides pistols and firearms.'
+
+"'D---- my honor,' said, Phil, 'if I'd stoop to fight any Papist. Aren't
+they all rebels? And what gentleman would fight a rebel?'
+
+"'Honor!' exclaimed Hartley; 'don't profane that sacred word--I can have
+no more patience with such a craven-hearted rascal, who could stoop to
+such base revenge against the unsullied reputation of a virtuous and
+admirable girl, because she spurned your scoundrelly addresses.'
+
+"'He never paid his addresses to her,' said Val;--'never.'
+
+"'No I didn't,'said Phil. 'At any rate I never had any notion of
+marrying her.'
+
+"'You are a dastardly liar, sir,' responded Hartley. 'You know you had.
+How can your father and you look each other in the face, when you say
+so?'
+
+"'Go on,' said Phil, 'you're a fire-eater: so you may say what you
+like.'
+
+"'Didn't your father, in your name, propose for her upon some former
+occasion, in the fair of Castle Cumber, and he remembers the answer he
+got.'
+
+"'Go on,' said Phil, 'you're a fire-eater; that's all I have to say to
+you.'
+
+"'And now, having ruined her reputation by a base and cowardly plot
+concocted with a wicked old woman, who would blast the whole family if
+she could, because M'Loughlin transported her felon son; you, now,
+like a paltry clown as you are, skulk out of the consequences of your
+treachery, and refuse to give satisfaction for the diabolical injury you
+have inflicted on the whole family.'
+
+"'Go on,' said Phil, 'you're a fire-eater.'
+
+"'You forget,' said Val, 'that I am a magistrate, and what the
+consequences may be to yourself for carrying a hostile message.'
+
+"'Ah,' said Hartley, 'you are a magistrate, and shame on the government
+that can stoop to the degradation of raising such rascals as you are to
+become dispensers of justice; it is you and the like of you, that are a
+curse to the country. As for you, Phil M'Clutchy, I now know, and always
+suspected, the stuff you are made of. You are a disgrace to the very
+Orangemen you associate with; for they are, in general, brave fellows,
+although too often cruel and oppressive when hunted on and stimulated by
+such as you and your rascally upstart of a father.'
+
+"'Go on,' said Phil, 'you are a fire-eater.'
+
+"'I now leave you both,' continued the young Hotspur, with a blazing
+eye and flushed cheek, 'with the greatest portion of scorn and contempt
+which one man can bestow upon another.'
+
+"'Go off,' said Phil, 'you are a fire-eater.'
+
+"'Phil,' said the father, 'send for M'Murt, and let him get the
+ejectments from M'Slime--we shall not, at all events, be insulted and
+bearded by Papists, or their emissaries, so long as I can clear one of
+them off the estate.'
+
+"'But, good God, Mr. M'Clutchy, surely these other Papists you speak of,
+have not participated in the offences, if such they are, of M'Loughlin
+and Harman.'
+
+"'Ay, but they're all of the same kidney,' said Phil; 'they hate us
+because we keep them down.'
+
+"'And what can be more natural than that?' I observed; 'just reverse the
+matter--suppose they were in your place, and kept you down, would you
+love them for it?'
+
+"'Why, what kind of talk is that,' said Phil, 'they keep us down! Are
+they not rebels?'
+
+"'You observed,' I replied, getting tired of this sickening and
+senseless bigotry, 'that you wished to make a proposal of some kind to
+me before I went.'
+
+"'Yes,' he replied, 'I wished, if it be a thing that you remain in the
+neighborhood, to propose that you should become an Orangeman, and join
+my father's lodge. You say you want a farm on the estate; now, if
+you do, take my advice and become an Orangeman; you will then have a
+stronger claim, for my father always gives them the preference.'
+
+"'By Lord Cumber's desire, Phil; but I shall be very happy, indeed,
+sir,' proceeded Val, 'that is, provided you get an introduction--for, at
+present, you will pardon me for saying we are strangers.'
+
+"'I should first wish to witness the proceedings of an Orange Lodge,'
+I said, 'but I suppose that, of course, is impossible, unless to the
+initiated.'
+
+"'Certainly, of course,' said M'Clutchy.
+
+"'But, father,' said Phil, 'couldn't we admit him after the business of
+the lodge is concluded.'
+
+"'It is not often done,' replied the father; 'but it sometimes
+is--however, we shall have the pleasure, Mr. Easel--(I forgot to say
+that I had sent in my card, so that he knew my name),--we shall have the
+pleasure of a better acquaintance, I trust.'
+
+"'I tell you what,' said Phil, leaping off his chair, 'd---n my honor,
+but I was wrong to let young Hartley go without a thrashing. The
+cowardly scoundrel was exceedingly insulting.'
+
+"'No, no, Phil,' said the father; 'you acted with admirable coolness and
+prudence.'
+
+"'I tell you I ought to have kicked the rascal out,' said Phil, getting
+into a passion; 'I'll follow him and teach the impudent vagabond a
+lesson he wants.'
+
+"He seized his hat, and buttoned up his coat, as if for combat, whilst
+he spoke.
+
+"'Phil, be quiet,' said his father, rising up and putting his arms about
+him; 'be quiet now. There will be no taming him down, if his spirit
+gets up,' said Val, addressing me; 'for all our sakes, Phil, keep quiet
+and sit down. Good heaven! the strength of him! Phil, keep quiet, I say,
+you shan't go after him.'
+
+"'Let me go,' shouted the other; 'let me go, I say. I will smash him
+to atoms. Upon my honor and reputation, he shall not escape me this
+way--I'll send him home a hoop--a triangle--a zoologist. I'll beat him
+into mustard, the cowardly scoundrel! And only you were a magistrate,
+father, I would have done it before you. Let me go, I say--the M'Clutchy
+blood is up in me! Father, you're a scoundrel if you hold me! You
+know what a lion I am--what a raging lion, when roused. Hands off,
+M'Clutchy, I say, when you know I'm a thunderbolt.'
+
+"The tugging and pulling that took place here between the father and son
+were extraordinary, and I could not in common decency decline assisting
+the latter to hold him in. I consequently lent him my aid seriously; but
+this only made things worse:--the more he was held, the more violent and
+outrageous he became. He foamed at the mouth--stormed--swore--and tore
+about with such vehemence, that I really began to think the fellow was a
+dull flint, which produced, fire slowly, but that there was fire in
+him. The struggle still proceeded, and we pulled and dragged each other
+through every part of the house:--chairs, and tables, and office-stools
+were all overturned--and Phil's cry was still for war.
+
+"It's all to no purpose,' he shouted--'I'll not leave an unbroken bone
+in that scoundrel Hartley's body.'
+
+"'I know you wouldn't, if you got at him,' said Val. 'He would certainly
+be the death of him,' he added aside tome; 'he would give him some fatal
+blow, and that's what I'm afraid of.'
+
+"Phil was now perfectly furious--in fact he resembled a drunken man, and
+might have passed for such.
+
+"'Hartley, you scoundrel, where are you, till I make mummy of you?' he
+shouted.
+
+"'Here I am,' replied Hartley, entering' the room, walking up to him,
+and looking him sternly in the face--'here I am--what's your will with
+me?'
+
+"So comic a paralysis was, perhaps, never witnessed. Phil stood
+motionless, helpless, speechless. The white cowardly froth rose to
+his lips, his color became ashy, his jaw fell, he shook, shrunk into
+himself, and gasped for breath--his eyes became hollow, his squint
+deepened, and such was his utter prostration of strength, that his very
+tongue lolled out with weakness, like that of a newly dropped calf, when
+attempting to stand for the first time. At length he got out--
+
+"'Hold! I believe, I'll restrain myself; but only my father's a
+magistrate------'
+
+"'Your father's a scoundrel, and you are another,' said Hartley; 'and
+here's my respect for you.'
+
+"Whilst speaking, he caught Phil by the nose with one hand, and also by
+the collar of his coat with the other, and in this position led him, in
+a most comical way, round the room, after which he turned him about,
+and inflicted a few vigorous kicks upon a part of him which must be
+nameless.
+
+"'I am not sorry,' said he, 'that I forgot my note-case in the other
+room, as it has given me an opportunity of taming a raging lion so
+easily.'
+
+"'Goon,' said Phil, whose language, as well as valor, was fairly
+exhausted, 'it's well you're a fire-eater, and my father a magistrate,
+or by my honor, I'd know how to deal with you.'
+
+"Such, my dear Spinageberd, is a domestic sketch of the Agent and Under
+Agent of that exceedingly sapient nobleman, Lord Cumber; and if ever,
+excellent landlord that he is, he should by any possible chance come
+to see these lines, perhaps he might be disposed to think that an
+occasional peep at his own property, and an examination into the
+principles upon which it is managed, might open to him a new field of
+action worth cultivating, even as an experiment not likely to end in any
+injurious result to either him or it. In a day or two I shall call upon
+Mr. Solomon M'Slime, with whom I am anxious to have a conversation,
+as, indeed, I am with the leading characters on the property. You may
+accordingly expect an occasional batch of observations from me, made
+upon the spot, and fresh from my interviews with the individuals to whom
+they relate."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XVII.--A Moral Survey, or a Wise Man led by a Fool
+
+--Marks of Unjust Agency--Reflections thereon--A Mountain Water-Spout,
+and Rising of a Torrent--The Insane Mother over the Graves of her
+Family--Raymond's Humanity--His Rescue from Death.
+
+
+"Friday, * * *
+
+"I have amused myself--you will see how appropriate the word is by and
+by--since my last communication, in going over the whole Castle
+Cumber estate, and noting down the traces which this irresponsible
+and rapacious oppressor, aided by his constables, bailiffs, and
+blood-hounds, have left behind them. When I describe the guide into
+whose hands I have committed myself, I am inclined to think you will
+not feel much disposed to compliment me on my discretion;--the aforesaid
+guide being no other than a young fellow, named _Raymond-na-Hattha_,
+which means, they tell me, Raymond of the Hats--a sobriquet very
+properly bestowed on him in consequence of a habit he has of always
+wearing three or four hats at a time, one within the other--a
+circumstance which, joined to his extraordinary natural height and great
+strength, gives him absolutely a gigantic appearance. This Raymond is
+the fool of the parish; but in selecting him for my conductor, I acted
+under the advice of those who knew him better than I could. There
+is not, in fact, a field or farm-house, or a cottage, within a
+circumference of miles, which he does not know, and where he is not
+also known. He has ever since his childhood evinced a most extraordinary
+fancy for game cocks--an attachment not at all surprising, when it is
+known that not only was his father, Morgan Monahan, the most celebrated
+breeder and handler of that courageous bird--but his mother, Poll
+Doolin--married women here frequently preserve, or are called by, their
+maiden names through life--who learned it from her husband, was
+equally famous for this very feminine accomplishment. Poor Raymond,
+notwithstanding his privation, is, however, exceedingly shrewd in many
+things, especially where he can make himself understood. As he speaks,
+however, in unconnected sentences, in which there is put forth no more
+than one phase of the subject he alludes to, or the idea he entertains,
+it is unquestionably not an easy task to understand him without an
+interpreter. He is singularly fond of children--very benevolent--and
+consequently feels a degree of hatred and horror at anything in the
+shape of cruelty or oppression, almost beyond belief, in a person
+deprived of reason. This morning he was with me by appointment, about
+half-past nine, and after getting his breakfast----but no matter--the
+manipulation he exhibited would have been death to a dyspeptic patient,
+from sheer envy--we sallied forth to trace this man, M'Clutchy, by
+the awful marks of ruin, and tyranny, and persecution; for these words
+convey the principles of what he hath left, and is leaving behind him.
+
+"'Now, Raymond,' said I, 'as you know the country well, I shall be
+guided by you. I wish to see a place called Drum Dhu. Can you conduct
+me there?'
+
+"'Ay!' he replied with surprise; 'Why! Sure there's scarcely anybody
+there now. When we go on farther, we may look up, but we'll see no
+smoke, as there used to be. 'Twas there young Torly Regan died on that
+day--an' her, poor Mary--but they're all gone from her--and Hugh the
+eldest is in England or America--but him--the youngest--he'll never
+waken--and what will the poor mother do for his white head now that she
+hasn't it to look at? No, he wouldn't waken, although I brought him the
+cock.'
+
+"'Of whom are you speaking now, Raymond?'
+
+"'I'll tell you two things that's the same,' he replied; 'and I'll tell
+you the man that has them both.'
+
+"'Let me hear, Raymond.'
+
+"'The devil's blessin' and God's curse;--sure they're the same--ha,
+ha--there now--that's one. You didn't know that--no, no: you didn't.'
+
+"'And who is it that has them, Raymond?'
+
+"'M'Clutchy--Val the Vulture; sure 'twas he did that all, and is doin'
+it still. Poor Mary!--Brian will never waken;--she'll never see his eyes
+again, 'tany rate--nor his white head--oh! his white head! God ought to
+kill Val, and I wondher he doesn't.'
+
+"'Raymond, my good friend,' said I, 'if you travel at this rate, I must
+give up the journey altogether.'
+
+"The fact is, that when excited, as he was now by the topic in question,
+he gets into what is termed a sling trot, which carries him on at
+about six miles an hour, without ever feeling fatigued. He immediately
+slackened his pace, and looked towards me, with a consciousness of
+having forgotten himself and acted wrongly.
+
+"'Well, no,' said he, 'I won't; but sure I hate him.'
+
+"'Hate whom?'
+
+"'M'Clutchy--and that was it; for I always do it; but I won't again, for
+you couldn't keep up wid me if I spoke about him.'
+
+"We then turned towards the mountains; and as we went along, the
+desolate impresses of the evil agent began here and there to become
+visible. On the road-side there were the humble traces of two or three
+cabins, whose little hearths had been extinguished, and whose walls were
+levelled to the earth. The black fungus, the burdock, the nettle, and
+all those offensive weeds that follow in the train of oppression and
+ruin were here; and as the dreary wind stirred them into sluggish
+motion, and piped its melancholy wail through these desolate little
+mounds, I could not help asking myself--if those who do these things
+ever think that there is a reckoning in after life, where power, and
+insolence, and wealth misapplied, and rancor, and pride, and rapacity,
+and persecution, and revenge, and sensuality, and gluttony, will be
+placed face to face with those humble beings, on whose rights and
+privileges of simple existence they have trampled with such a selfish
+and exterminating tread. A host of thoughts and reflections began to
+crowd upon my mind; but the subject was too painful--and after avoiding
+it as well as I could, we proceeded on our little tour of observation.
+
+"How easy it is for the commonest observer to mark even the striking
+characters that are impressed on the physical features of an estate
+which is managed by care and kindness--where general happiness and
+principles of active industry are diffused through the people? And,
+on the other hand, do not all the depressing symbols of neglect and
+mismanagement present equally obvious exponents of their operation, upon
+properties like this of Castle Cumber? On this property, it is not every
+tenant that is allowed to have an interest in the soil at all, since the
+accession of M'Clutchy. He has succeeded in inducing the head landlord
+to decline granting leases to any but those who are his political
+supporters--that is, who will vote for him or his nominee at an
+election; or, in other words, who will enable him to sell both their
+political privileges and his own, to gratify his cupidity or ambition,
+without conferring a single advantage upon themselves. From those,
+therefore, who have too much honesty to prostitute their votes to his
+corrupt and selfish negotiations with power, leases are withheld, in
+order that they may, with more becoming and plausible oppression, be
+removed from the property, and the staunch political supporter brought
+in in their stead. This may be all very good policy, but it is certainly
+bad humanity, and worse religion, In fact, it is the practice of that
+cruel dogma, which prompts us to sacrifice the principles of others to
+our own, and to deprive them of the very privilege which we ourselves
+claim--that of acting according to our conscientious impressions. 'Do
+unto others,' says Mr. M'Clutchy and his class, as you would not wish
+that others should do unto you.' How beautifully here is the practice
+of the loud and headlong supporter of the Protestant Church, and its
+political ascendancy, made to harmonize with the principles of that
+neglected thing called the Gospel? In fact as we went along, it was easy
+to mark, on the houses and farmsteads about us, the injustice of making
+this heartless distinction. The man who felt himself secure and fixed by
+a vested right in the possession of his tenement, had heart and motive
+to work and improve it, undepressed by the consciousness that his
+improvements to-day might be trafficked on by a wicked and unjust agent
+tomorrow. He knows, that in developing all the advantages and good
+qualities of the soil, he is not only discharging an important duty to
+himself and his landlord, but also to his children's children after him;
+and the result is, that the comfort, contentment, and self-respect which
+he gains by the consciousness of his security, are evident at a glance
+upon himself, his house, and his holding. On the other hand, reverse
+this picture, and what is the consequence? Just what is here visible.
+There is a man who may be sent adrift on the shortest notice, unless
+he is base enough to trade upon his principles and vote against his
+conscience. What interest has he in the soil, or in the prosperity of
+his landlord? If he make improvements this year, he may see the landlord
+derive all the advantages of them the next; or, what is quite as likely,
+he may know that some Valentine M'Clutchy may put them in his
+own pocket, and keep the landlord in the dark regarding the whole
+transaction. What a bounty on dishonesty and knavery in an agent is
+this? How unjust to the interest of the tenant, in the first place--in
+the next to that of the landlord--and, finally, how destructive to the
+very nature and properties of the soil itself, which rapidly degenerates
+by bad and negligent culture, and. consequently becomes impoverished
+and diminished in value. All this was evident as we went along. Here was
+warmth, and wealth, and independence staring us in the face; there was
+negligence, desponding struggle, and decline, conscious, as it were, of
+their unseemly appearance, and anxious, one would think, to shrink away
+from the searching eye of observation.
+
+"'But here again, Raymond; what have we here? There is a fine looking
+farmhouse, evidently untenanted. How is that?'
+
+"'Ha, ha,' replied Raymond with a bitter smile, 'ha, ha! Let them take
+it, and see what Captain Whiteboy will do? He has the possession--ha,
+ha--an' who'll get him to give it up? Who dare take that, or any of
+Captain Whiteboy's farms? But sure it's not, much--only a coal, a
+rushlight, and a prod of a pike or a baynet--but I know who ought to
+have them.'
+
+"The house in question was considerably dilapidated. Its doors were not
+visible, and its windows had all been shivered. Its smokeless chimneys,
+its cold and desolate appearance, together with the still more ruinous
+condition of the outhouses, added to the utter silence which prevailed
+about it, and the absence of every symptom of life and motion--all told
+a tale which has left many a bloody moral to the country. The slaps,
+gates, and enclosures were down--the hedges broken or cut away--the
+fences trampled on and levelled to the earth--and nothing seemed to
+thrive--for the garden was overrun with them--but the rank weeds already
+alluded to, as those which love to trace the footsteps of ruin and
+desolation, in order to show, as it were, what they leave behind them.
+As we advanced, other and more startling proofs of M'Clutchy came in our
+way--proofs which did not consist of ruined houses, desolate villages,
+or roofless-cottages--but of those unfortunate persons, whose simple
+circle of domestic life--whose little cares, and struggles, and sorrows,
+and affections, formed the whole round of their humble existence,
+and its enjoyments, as given them by Almighty God himself. All these,
+however, like the feelings and affections of the manacled slave, were
+as completely overlooked by those who turned them adrift, as if in
+possessing such feelings, they had invaded a right which belonged
+only to their betters, and which,the same betters, by the way, seldom
+exercise either in such strength or purity as those whom they despise
+and oppress. Aged men we met, bent, with years, and weighed down still
+more by that houseless sorrow, which is found accompanying them along
+the highways of life:--through its rugged solitudes and its dreariest
+paths--in the storm and in the tempest--wherever they go--in want,
+nakedness, and destitution--still at their side is that houseless
+sorrow--pouring into their memories and their hearts the conviction,
+which is most terrible to old age, that it has no home here but the
+grave--no pillow on which to forget its cares but the dust. The sight
+of these wretched old men, turned out from, the little holdings that
+sheltered their helplessness, to beg a morsel, through utter charity, in
+the decrepitude of life, was enough to make a man wish that he had
+never been born to witness such a wanton abuse of that power which
+was entrusted to man for the purpose of diffusing happiness instead of
+misery. All these were known to Raymond, who, as far as he could, gave
+me their brief and unfortunate history. That which showed us, however,
+the heartless evils of the-clearance system in its immediate operation
+upon the poorer classes, was the groups of squalid females who traversed
+the country, accompanied by their pale and sickly looking children, all
+in a state of mendicancy, and wofully destitute of clothing. The system
+in this case being to deny their husbands employment upon the property,
+in order to drive them, by the strong scourge of necessity, off it, the
+poor men were compelled to seek it elsewhere, whilst their sorrowing and
+heart-broken families were fain to remain and beg a morsel from those
+who were best acquainted with the history of their expulsion, and who,
+consequently, could yield to them and their little ones a more cordial
+and liberal sympathy. After thus witnessing the consequences of bad
+management, and worse feeling, in the shape of houses desolate, villages
+levelled, farms waste, old age homeless, and feeble mothers tottering
+under their weaker children--after witnessing, I say, all this, we came
+to the village called Drum Dhu, being one of those out of which these
+unhappy creatures were so mercilessly driven.
+
+"A village of this description is, to say the least of it, no credit to
+the landed proprietors of any country. It is the necessary result of a
+bad system. But we know that if the landlord paid the attention which
+he ought to pay, to both the rights and duties of his property, a bad
+system could never be established upon it. I am far from saying, indeed,
+my dear Spinageberd, there are not cases in which the landlord finds
+himself in circumstances of great difficulty. Bad, unprincipled,
+vindictive, and idle tenants enough there are in this country--as I am
+given to understand from those who know it best--plotting scoundrels,
+who, like tainted sheep, are not only corrupt themselves, but
+infect others, whom they bring along with themselves to their proper
+destination, the gallows. Enough and too many of these there are to be
+found, who are cruel without cause, and treacherous without provocation;
+and this is evident, by the criminal records of the country, from
+which it is clear that it is not in general the aggrieved man who takes
+justice in his own hands, but the idle profligate I speak of now. Many
+indeed of all these, it is an act due to public peace and tranquility to
+dislodge from any and from every estate; but at the same time, it is not
+just that the many innocent should suffer as well as the guilty few. To
+return, however, to the landlord. It often happens, that when portions
+of his property fall out of lease, he finds it over-stocked with a swarm
+of paupers, who are not his tenants at all and never were--but who in
+consequence of the vices of sub-letting, have multiplied in proportion
+to the rapacity and extortion of middle-men, and third-men, and
+fourth-men--and though last, not least, of the political exigencies
+of the landlord himself, to serve whose purposes they were laboriously
+subdivided off into tattered legions of fraud, corruption, and perjury.
+Having, therefore, either connived at, or encouraged the creation of
+thess creatures upon his property for corrupt purposes, is he justified,
+when such a change in the elective franchise has occurred as renders
+them of no political importance to him, in turning them out of their
+little holdings, without aid or provision of some sort, and without
+reflecting besides, that they are in this, the moment of their sorest
+distress, nothing else than the neglected tools and forgotten victims of
+his own ambition. Or can he be surprised, after hardening them into
+the iniquity of half a dozen elections, that he finds fellows in their
+number who would feel no more scruples in putting a bullet into him
+from behind a hedge, than they would into a dog? Verily, my dear Simon
+Spinageberd, the more I look into the political and civil education
+which the people of Ireland have received, I am only surprised that
+property in this country rests upon so firm and secure a basis as I find
+it does.
+
+"On arriving at Drum Dhu, the spectacle which presented itself to us was
+marked, not merely by the vestiges of inhumanity and bad policy, but by
+the wanton insolence of sectarian spirit and bitter party feeling.
+On some of the doors had been written with chalk or charcoal, "Clear
+off--to hell or Connaught!" "Down with Popery!" "M'Clutchy's cavalry
+and Ballyhack wreckers for ever!" In accordance with these offensive
+principles most of all the smaller cottages and cabins had been
+literally wrecked and left uninhabitable, in the violence of this bad
+impulse, although at the present moment they are about to be re-erected,
+to bear out the hollow promises that will be necessary for the
+forthcoming election. The village was indeed a miserable and frightful
+scene. There it stood, between thirty and forty small and humble
+habitations, from which, with the exception of about five or six, all
+the inmates had been dispossessed, without any consideration for age,
+sex, poverty, or sickness. Nay, I am assured that a young man was
+carried out during the agonies of death, and expired in the street,
+under the fury of a stormy and tempestuous day. Of those who remained,
+four who are Protestants, and two whom are Catholics, have promised to
+vote with M'Clutchy, who is here the great representative of Lord
+Cumber and his property. If, indeed, you were now to look upon these two
+miserable lines of silent and tenantless walls, most of them unroofed,
+and tumbled into heaps of green ruin, that are fast melting out of
+shape, for they were mostly composed of mere peat--you would surely say,
+as the Eastern Vizier said in the apologue. 'God prosper Mr. Valentine
+M'Clutchy!--for so long as Lord Cumber has him for an agent, he will
+never want plenty of ruined villages!' My companion muttered many things
+to himself, but said nothing intelligible, until he came to one of the
+ruins pretty near the centre:--
+
+"'Ay,' said he, 'here is the place they said he died--here before the
+door--and in there is where he lay during his long sickness. The wet
+thatch and the sods is lying there now. Many a time I was with him. Poor
+Torley!'
+
+"'Of whom do you speak now, Raymond?' I asked.
+
+"'Come away,' he said, not noticing my question,--'come till I show
+you the other place that the neighbors built privately when he was
+dying--the father I mean--ay, and the other wid the white head, him that
+wouldn't waken--come.'
+
+"I followed him, for truth to tell, I was sick at heart of all that I
+had witnessed that morning, and now felt anxious, if I could, to relieve
+my imagination of this melancholy imagery and its causes altogether.
+He went farther up towards the higher mountains, in rather a slanting
+direction, but not immediately into their darkest recesses, and after a
+walk of about two miles more, he stopped at the scattered turf walls of
+what must once have been a cold, damp, and most comfortless cabin.
+
+"'There,' said he, I saw it all; 'twas the blood-hounds. He died, and
+her white-headed boy died; him, you know, that wouldn't waken--there
+is where they both died; and see here'--there was at this moment a most
+revolting expression of ferocious triumph in his eye as he spoke--'see,
+here the blood-hound dropped, for the bullet went through him!--Ha, ha,
+that's one; the three dead--the three dead! Come now, come, come.' He
+then seemed much changed, for he shuddered as he spoke, and after
+a little time, much to my astonishment, a spirit of tenderness and
+humanity settled on his face, his eyes filled with tears, and he
+exclaimed, 'Poor Mary! they're all gone, and she will never see his
+white head again; and his eyes won't open any more; no, they're all
+gone, all gone: oh! come away!'
+
+"I had heard as much of this brutal tragedy as made his allusions barely
+intelligible, but on attempting to gain any further information from
+him, he relapsed, as he generally did, into his usual abruptness of
+manner. He now passed down towards the cultivated country, at a pace
+which I was once more obliged to request him to moderate.
+
+"'Well,' said he, 'if you don't care, I needn't, for we'll have it--I
+know by the roarin' of the river and by the look of the mountains there
+above.'
+
+"'What shall we have, Raymond?' I inquired.
+
+"'No matther,' said he, rather to himself than to me, 'we can cross the
+stick.* But I'll show you the place, for I was there at the time, and
+his coffin was on the top of his father's. Ha, ha, I liked that, and
+they all cried but Mary, and she laughed and sung, and clapped her hands
+when the clay was makin' a noise upon them, and then the people cried
+more. I cried for him in the little coffin, for I loved him--I wondher
+God doesn't kill M'Clutchy--the curse o' God, and the blessin' o' the
+devil on him! Ha, ha, there's one now: let him take it.'
+
+     * In mountain rivers a "stick," or plank, is frequently a
+     substitute for a bridge.
+
+"We still proceeded at a brisk pace for about a mile and a half,
+leaving the dark and savage hills behind us, when Raymond turning about,
+directed my attention to the mountains. These were overhung by masses
+of black clouds, that were all charged with rain and the elements of
+a tempest. From one of these depended a phenomenon which I had never
+witnessed before--I mean a water spout, wavering in its black and
+terrible beauty over this savage scenery, thus adding its gloomy
+grandeur to the sublimity of the thunder-storm, which now deepened,
+peal after peal, among the mountains. To such as are unacquainted with
+mountain scenery, and have never witnessed an inland water spout, it
+is only necessary to say, that it resembles a long inverted cone, that
+hangs from a bank of clouds whose blackness is impenetrable. It appears
+immovable at the upper part, where it joins the clouds; but, as it
+gradually tapers to a long and delicate point, it waves to and fro with
+a beautiful and gentle motion, which blends a sense of grace with the
+very terror it excites. It seldom lasts more than a few minutes, for,
+as soon as the clouds are dispersed by the thunder it disappears so
+quickly, that, having once taken your eye off it when it begins to
+diminish, it is gone before you can catch it again--a fact which adds
+something of a wild and supernatural character to its life-like motion
+and appearance. The storm in which we saw it, was altogether confined
+to the mountains, where it raged for a long time, evidently pouring down
+deluges of rain, whilst on the hill side which we traversed, there was
+nothing but calmness and sunshine.
+
+"'It will be before us,' said Raymond, pointing to a dry torrent bed
+close beside us; 'whisht, here it is---ha, ha, I like that--see it, see
+it!'
+
+"I looked in the direction of his hand, and was entranced in a kind of
+wild and novel delight, by witnessing a large bursting body of water,
+something between a dark and yellow hue, tumbling down the bed of the
+river, with a roaring noise and impetuosity of which I had never formed
+any conception before. From the spot we stood on, up to its formation
+among the mountains, the river was literally a furious mountain torrent,
+foaming over its very banks, whilst from the same place down to the
+cultivated country it was almost dry, with merely an odd pool, connected
+here and there by a stream too shallow to cover the round worn stones in
+its channel. So rapid, and, indeed dangerous, is the rise of a mountain
+flood, that many a life of man and beast have fallen victims to the
+fatal speed of its progress. Raymond now bent his steps over to
+the left, and, in a few minutes, we entered a graveyard, so closely
+surrounded by majestic whitethorns, that it came upon me by surprise.
+
+"'Whisht,' said he, 'she's often here--behind this ould chapel. For 'tis
+there they are, the two big coffins and the little one--but I liked the
+little one best.'
+
+"He conducted me to an old mullioned window in the gable, through which
+a single glance discovered to me the female of whose insanity, and the
+dreadful cause of it, I had before heard. Whilst pointing her out to me,
+he laid his hand upon my shoulder, and, heavy as it was, I could feel
+the more distinctly by its vibrations that he trembled; and, on looking
+into his face I perceived that he had got deadly pale, and that the same
+spirit of humanity and compassion, to which I have alluded, had returned
+to it once more. There was not reason in his face, to be sure, but there
+certainly was an expression there, trembling, and mild, and beautiful,
+as is the light of the morning star, before the glory of the sun has
+unveiled itself in heaven. To Raymond's mind that early herald had
+indeed come, but that was all--to him had never arisen the light of
+perfect day.
+
+"'There she is,' said he, 'look at her, but don't spake.'
+
+"I looked at her with deep and melancholy interest. She sat on a broken
+tombstone that lay beside the grave of those in whom her whole happiness
+in this life had centered. Her dress was wofully neglected, her hair
+loose, that is, it escaped from her cap, her white bosom was bare, and
+her feet without shoe or stocking. I could easily perceive, that great
+as her privations had been, God had now, perhaps in mercy, taken
+away her consciousness of them, for she often smiled whilst talking
+to herself, and occasionally seemed to feel that fulness of happiness
+which, whether real or not, appears so frequently in the insane.
+At length she stooped down, and kissed the clay of their graves,
+exclaiming--
+
+"'There is something here that I love; but nobody will tell me what
+it is--no, not one. No matter, I know I love something--I know I love
+somebody--somebody--and they love me--but now will no one tell me where
+they are? Wouldn't Hugh come to me if I called him? but sure I did, and
+he won't come--and Torley, too, won't come, and my own poor white-head,
+even he won't come to me. But whisht, may be they're asleep; ay,
+asleep, and ah, sure if ever any creatures wanted sleep, they do--sleep,
+darlin's, sleep--I'll not make a noise to waken one of you--but what's
+that?'
+
+"Here she clasped her hands, and looked with such a gaze of affright and
+horror around her, as I never saw on a human face before.
+
+"'What's that? It's them, it's them,' she exclaimed--'I hear their
+horses' feet, I hear them cursin' and swearin'--but no matther, I'm not
+to be frightened. Amn't I Hugh Roe's wife?--Isn't here God on my side,
+an' are ye a match for him.--Here--here's my breast, my heart, and
+through that you must go before you touch him. But then,' she added,
+with a sigh, 'where's them that I love, an' am waitin' for, an' why
+don't they come?'
+
+"She once more stooped down, and kissing the grave, whispered, but loud
+enough to be heard, 'are ye here? If ye are, ye may speak to me--it's
+not them, they don't know where ye are yet--but sure ye may speak to me.
+It's Mary, Hugh--your mother, Torley--your own mother, Brian dear, with
+the fair locks.'
+
+"'Ay,' said Raymond, 'that's the white-head she misses--that's him that
+I loved--but sure she needn't call him for he won't waken. I'll spake to
+her.' As he uttered the words he passed rapidly out of a broken portion
+of the wall, and, before she was aware of his approach, stood
+beside her. I thought she would have been startled by his unexpected
+appearance, but I was mistaken; she surveyed him not only without alarm,
+but benignly; and after having examined him for some moments, she said,
+'there are three of them, but they will not come--don't you know how I
+loved somebody?'
+
+"'Which o' them?' said Raymond.
+
+"'It's a long sleep,' she said, without noticing the question, 'a long
+sleep--well, they want it, poor things, for there was but little for
+them but care, and cowld, and hardship--Sure we had sickness--Torley
+left us first; but,--let me see,--where did Poor Brian go? Well, no
+matter, we had sickness, as I said, and sometimes we had little or
+nothing to eat, but sure still wasn't my hand tendher about them. I felt
+my heart in my fingers when I touched them, and, if I gave them a drink
+didn't my heart burn, and oh! it was then I knew how I loved them!
+Whisht, then, poor things--och sure I'll do my best--I'll struggle for
+you as well as I can--you have none but me to do it--it's not the black
+wather I'd give my darlin' child if I had betther; but gruel is what I
+can't get, for the sorra one grain of mail is undher the roof wid me;
+but I'll warm the cowld potato for my pet, and you can play wid it till
+you fall asleep, accushla. Yes, I will kiss you; for afther all, isn't
+that the richest little treat that your poor mother has to comfort you
+with in your poor cowld sick bed--one and all o' ye.'
+
+"Here she rocked herself to and fro, precisely as if she had been
+sitting by the sick bed, then stooping down a third time, she kissed the
+earth that contained them once more--
+
+"'Ah,' she exclaimed, 'how cowld their lips are! how cowld my
+white-haired boy's lips are! and their sleep is long--Oh! but their
+sleep is long!'
+
+"Raymond, during these incoherent expressions, stood mutely beside her,
+his lips, however, often moving, as if he were communing with himself,
+or endeavoring to shape some words of rude comfort in her sorrows; but
+ever and anon, as he seemed to go about it, his face moved with feelings
+which he could not utter, like the surface of a brook stirred by the
+breeze that passes over it. At length he laid his hand gently on her
+shoulder, and exclaimed in a tone of wild and thrilling compassion--
+
+"'Mary!'
+
+"She then started for a moment, and looking around her with something
+like curiosity rather than alarm, replied--
+
+"'Well--'
+
+"'Mary,' said he, 'make haste and go to heaven; make haste and go to
+heaven--you'll find them all there--Hugh Regan, and Torley, and little
+Brian. Don't stop here, for there will be more blood, more bloodhounds,
+and more Val M'Clutchy's.'
+
+"She did not seem to have noticed his particular words, but there
+appeared to have been some association awakened which gave a new impulse
+to her thoughts--
+
+"'Come away,' said she, 'come away!'
+
+"Raymond turned, and looking towards where I stood, beckoned me to
+follow them; and truly it was a touching sight to see this unregulated
+attempt of the poor innocent, to sooth the heavy sorrows--if such they
+were now--of one of whose malady could appreciate no sympathy, and whose
+stricken heart was apparently beyond the reach of consolation forever.
+
+"Both now proceeded in silence, Raymond still holding her by the hand,
+and affording her every assistance, as we crossed the fields, in order
+to shorten the path which led us to the Castle Cumber road. On coming
+to a ditch, for instance, he would lift her, but still with care and
+gentleness, in his powerful arms, and place her, with scarcely any
+effort of her own strength, which, indeed, was nearly gone, safely and
+easily upon the other side.
+
+"We had now crossed that part of the sloping upland which led us
+out upon a bridle road, that passed close by M'Loughlin's house and
+manufactory, and which, slanted across a ford in the river, a little
+above their flax-mill. Having got out upon this little road, Raymond,
+who, as well as his companion, had for some time past proceeded in
+silence, stopped suddenly, and said--'Where is heaven, Mary?'
+
+"She involuntarily looked up towards the sky, with a quick but
+more significant glance than any I had yet seen her give; but this
+immediately passed away, and she said in a low voice, very full of the
+usual tones of sorrow:--'Heaven--it's there,' she replied, pointing
+behind her, towards the burying-place, 'in their graves!'
+
+"Raymond looked at me, and smiled, as if much pleased with the answer.
+'Ay,' said he, 'so it is--wherever his white head lies is heaven.'
+
+"I cannot tell how it happened, but I know that I felt every source of
+tenderness and compassion in my heart moved and opened more by these
+simple words on both sides, than by all that had passed since we met
+her.
+
+"In a few minutes more we reached that part of the road immediately
+adjoining M'Loughlin's house, and which expanded itself as it reached
+the river, that here became a ford, being crossed in ordinary cases
+by stone steps. As is usual in the case of such, floods, which fall as
+rapidly as they rise, we found about a dozen persons of both sexes, some
+sitting, others standing, but all waiting until the river should subside
+so as to be passed with safety--the little wooden bridge alluded to
+having been literally swept away. Among these was Poll Doolin, the
+mother of Raymond, who, however, did not appear to take any particular
+notice of her, but kept close by, and directed all his attention to,
+unhappy Mary O'Regan. About half an hour, had elapsed, when Raymond,
+casting his eye upon the decreasing torrent, said--
+
+"'It is now low enough--come, Mary, I will carry you safe over--Raymond
+has often crossed it higher, ay, when it was over the rock there to our
+right--come.' He lifted her up in his arms without another word, and,
+with firm and confident steps, proceeded to ford the still powerful and
+angry stream.
+
+"'Raymond, are you mad?' shouted his mother; 'ten times your strength
+couldn't stand that flood--come back, you headstrong creature, or you'll
+both be lost, as sure as you attempt it.'
+
+"Her remonstrances, however, were in vain. Raymond did not even look
+back, nor pay the slightest attention to what she said.
+
+"'Never mind them,' said he; 'I know best--it's often I crossed it.'
+
+"On reaching the centre of the stream, however, he appeared to feel as
+if he had miscalculated the strength of either it or himself. He stood
+for a moment literally shaking like a reed in its strong current--the
+passive maniac still in his arms, uncertain whether to advance with her
+or go back. Experience, however, had often told him, that if the fording
+it were at all practicable, the danger was tenfold to return, for by
+the very act of changing the position, a man must necessarily lose the
+firmness of his opposition to the stream, and consequently be borne away
+without the power of resisting it. Raymond, therefore, balanced himself
+as steadily as possible, and by feeling and making sure his footing in
+the most cautious manner--the slightest possible slip or stumble being
+at that moment fatal--he, with surprising strength and courage, had just
+succeeded in placing her safely on the rock he had before alluded to,
+when a stone turned under him--his foot gave way--and the poor creature,
+whose reason was veiled to almost every impulse but that of a wild
+and touching humanity, tumbled down the boiling torrent, helpless and
+unresisting as a child, and utterly beyond the reach of assistance. My
+own sensations and feelings I really cannot describe, because, in point
+of fact, such was the tumult--the horror--of my mind at that moment,
+that I have no distinct recollection of my impressions. I think for
+a short space I must have lost both my sight and hearing, for I now
+distinctly remember to have heard, only for the first time, the piercing
+screams of his mother rising above the wild and alarming cries of the
+others--but not until he had gone down the stream, and disappeared round
+a sharp angle or bend, which it formed about eight or ten yards below
+where he fell.
+
+"There grew a little to the left of the spot where this shocking
+disaster occurred, a small clump of whitethorn trees, so closely matted
+together, that it was impossible to see through them. We all, therefore,
+ran round as if by instinct, to watch the tumbling body of poor Raymond,
+when what was our surprise to see a powerful young man, about eight or
+ten yards below us, dashing into the stream; where, although the current
+was narrower, it was less violent, and holding by a strong projecting
+branch of hazel that grew on the bank, stretch across the flood, and,
+as the body of Raymond passed him, seize it with a vigorous grasp, which
+brought it close to where he stood. Feeling that both were now out of
+the force of the current, he caught it in his arms, and ere any of
+us had either time or presence of mind even to proffer assistance, he
+carried, or rather dragged it out of the water, and laid it on the dry
+bank.
+
+"'Come,' said he, 'I am afraid there is little time to be lost--help
+me up with him to my father's, till we see what can be done to recover
+life, if life is left.'
+
+"The fact is, however, that Raymond was not altogether insensible; for,
+as young M'Loughlin--the same, by the way, who had sent the message to
+Phil--had concluded, he opened his eyes, breathed, and after gulping up
+some water, looked about him.
+
+"'Ah!' said he, 'poor Mary--she's gone to them at last; but she'll be
+happier with them. Take my hand,' said he to M'Loughlin, 'sure I thought
+I could do it. Poor Mary!'
+
+"This instantly directed our attention to the unhappy woman, whom we had
+all overlooked and forgotten for the moment, and I need not say that
+our satisfaction was complete, on finding her sitting calmly on the rock
+where Raymond had placed her, at the risk of his life. Poll Doolin, now
+seeing that her idiot son was safe, and feeling that she was indebted
+for his life to the son of that man on whom she is said by many to have
+wreaked such a fearful vengeance, through the ruined reputation of
+his only daughter, now approached the young man, and with her features
+deeply convulsed by a sense probably of her obligation to him, she
+stretched out her hand, 'John M'Loughlin,' said she, 'from this day out
+may God prosper me here and hereafter, if I'm not the friend of you and
+yours!'
+
+"'Bad and vindictive woman,' replied the other indignantly, whilst he
+held back the hand she sought, 'our accounts are now settled--I have
+saved your son; you have murdered my sister. If you are capable of
+remorse I now leave you to the hell of your own conscience, which can be
+but little less in punishment than that of the damned.'
+
+"Raymond, whose attention had been divided between them and Mary
+O'Regan, now said--
+
+"'Ha, ha, mother--there--that's one--you'll sleep sound now I hope,
+for you didn't lately--that little thing that comes to your bedside at
+night, won't trouble you any more, I suppose. No, no, the thing you say
+in your sleep, that is black in the face, has its tongue out, and the
+handkerchief drawn tight about its neck. You'd give back the money in
+your dhrame; but sorry a penny while you're waken, I'll engage.'
+
+"Poll turned away rebuked, but not, if one could judge, either in
+resentment or revenge. Raymond's words she had not heard, and of course
+paid no attention to what he said; but the latter, now seeing that
+the river had fallen considerably, again dashed into the stream, and
+crossing over, lifted the poor insane widow off the rock, and setting
+her down in safety on the other side, they both proceeded onwards
+together.
+
+"'The ford, sir, will not be passable for at least another hour,' said
+young M'Loughlin, addressing me, 'but if you will have the kindness to
+step up to my father's, and rest a little after your mountain journey,
+for I think you have been up the hills, you will find it at least more
+comfortable than standing here, and less fatiguing than going round
+by the bridge, which would make it at least five miles added to your
+journey.'
+
+"I thanked him, said I felt obliged, and would gladly avail myself of
+his very civil invitation.
+
+"'Perhaps,' he added, 'you might wish to see our flax and linen
+manufactory; if so, and that you do not think it troublesome, I will
+feel great pleasure in showing it to you.'
+
+"I expressed my obligations, but pleaded fatigue, which indeed I felt;
+and we consequently soon found ourselves in his father's parlor, where
+I met a very venerable old gentleman, the Rev. Mr. Roche, the Roman
+Catholic pastor of the parish."
+
+We must here exercise the privilege, which, at the commencement of
+this correspondence, we assured our readers we should reserve to
+ourselves--we allude to the ability which we possess, from ampler
+and clearer sources of information--to throw into Mr. Easel's
+correspondence, in their proper place, such incidents as he could
+not have possibly known, but which let in considerable light upon the
+progress of his narrative.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XVIII.--An Execution by Val's Blood-Hounds
+
+Cruel Consequences of Phil's Plot Against Mary M'Loughlin--Dreadful
+Determination of her Brothers--An Oath of Blood--Father Roche's
+Knowledge of Nature--Interview Between Mary and her Brothers--Influence
+and Triumph of Domestic Affection
+
+
+The hellish and cowardly plot against Mary M'Loughlin's reputation, and
+which the reader knows has already been planned and perpetrated by
+Poll Doolin and Phil M'Clutchy, was, as such vile calumnies mostly are,
+generally successful with the public. On her own immediate relations
+and family, who knew her firmness, candor, purity of heart, and
+self-respect, the foul slander had no effect whatsoever, at least in
+shaking their confidence in her sense of honor and discretion. With the
+greedy and brutal public, however, it was otherwise; and the discovery
+of this fact, which reached them in a thousand ways, it was that filled
+their hearts with such unparalleled distress, terrible agony, and that
+expanding spirit of revenge which is never satisfied, until it closes
+on him whose crime has given it birth. In truth,--and it is not to be
+wondered at--as how almost could it be otherwise?--the diabolical and
+cowardly crime of Phil M'Clutchy towards their sweet and unoffending
+sister, had changed her three brothers from men into so many savage and
+insatiable Frankensteins, resolved never to cease dogging his guilty
+steps, until their vengeance had slaked its burning thirst in his
+caitiff blood.
+
+Immediately after the night of its occurrence, a change began to take
+place in the conduct and deportment of their general acquaintances.
+Visitors dropped off, some from actual delicacy, and an unaffected
+compassion, and others from that shrinking fear of moral contagion,
+which is always most loudly and severely expressed by the private sinner
+and hypocrite. Their sister's conduct was, in fact, the topic of
+general discussion throughout the parish, and we need not say that such
+discussions usually were terminated--first in great compassion for the
+poor girl, and then as their virtue warmed, in as earnest denunciations
+of her guilt. To an indifferent person, however, without any prejudice
+either for or against her, it was really impossible, considering the
+satanic success with which the plot was managed, and the number of
+witnesses actually present at its accomplishment, to consider Miss
+M'Loughlin as free at least from gross and indefensible levity, and a
+most unjustifiable relaxation of female prudence, at a period when it
+was known she was actually engaged to another.
+
+This certainly looked very suspicious, and we need scarcely say that a
+cessation of all visits, intimacy, and correspondence, immediately took
+place, on the part of female friends and acquaintances. In fact the
+innocent victim of this dastardly plot was completely deserted, and the
+little party of her friends was by no means a match for the large and
+godly hosts who charitably combined to establish her guilt. Her father,
+with all his manliness of character, and sterling integrity, was not
+distressed on his daughter's account only. There was another cause of
+anxiety to him equally deep--we mean the mysterious change that had come
+over his sons, in consequence of this blasting calamity. He saw clearly
+that they had come to the dark and stern determination of avenging their
+sister's disgrace upon its author, and that at whatever risk. This in
+truth to him was the greater affliction of the two, and he accordingly
+addressed himself with all his authority and influence over them, to
+the difficult task of plucking this frightful resolution out of their
+hearts. In his attempt to execute this task, he found himself baffled
+and obstructed by other circumstances of a very distracting nature.
+First, there were the rascally paragraphs alluding to his embarrassments
+on the one hand, and those which, while pretending to vindicate him and
+his partner from any risk of bankruptcy, levelled the assassin's blow
+at the reputation of his poor daughter, on the other. Both told; but
+the first with an effect which no mere moral courage or consciousness
+of integrity, however high, could enable him to meet. Creditors came in,
+alarmed very naturally at the reports against his solvency, and
+demanded settlement of their accounts from the firm. These, in the
+first instances, were immediately made out and paid; but this would not
+do--other claimants came, equally pressing--one after another--and
+each so anxious in the early panic to secure himself, that ere long the
+instability which, in the beginning, had no existence, was gradually
+felt, and the firm of Harman and M'Loughlin felt themselves on the eve
+of actual bankruptcy.
+
+These matters all pressed heavily and bitterly on both father and sons.
+But we have yet omitted to mention that which, amidst all the lights
+in which the daughter contemplated the ruin of her fair fame, fell with
+most desolating consequences upon her heart--we mean her rejection by
+Harman, and the deliberate expression of his belief in her guilt. And,
+indeed, when our readers remember how artfully the web of iniquity
+was drawn around her, and the circumstances of mystery in which Harman
+himself had witnessed her connection with Poll Doolin, whose character
+for conducting intrigues he knew too well, they need not be surprised
+that he threw her off as a deceitful and treacherous wanton, in whom
+no man of a generous and honorable nature could or ought to place
+confidence, and who was unworthy even of an explanation. Mary
+M'Loughlin could have borne everything but this. Yes; the abandonment
+of friends--of acquaintances--of a fickle world itself; but here it was
+where her moral courage foiled her. The very hope to which her heart had
+clung from its first early and innocent impulses--the man to whom she
+looked up as the future guide, friend, and partner of her life, and for
+whose sake and safety she had suffered herself to be brought within
+the meshes of her enemies and his--this man, her betrothed husband, had
+openly expressed his conviction of her being unfit to become his wife,
+upon hearing from his cousin and namesake an account of what that young
+man had witnessed. Something between a nervous and brain fever had
+seized her on the very night of this heinous stratagem; but from that
+she was gradually recovering when at length she heard, by accident, of
+Harman's having unequivocally and finally withdrawn from the engagement.
+Under this she sank. It was now in vain to attempt giving her support,
+or cheering her spirits. Depression, debility, apathy, restlessness,
+and all the symptoms of a breaking constitution and a broken heart,
+soon began to set in and mark her for an early, and what was worse, an
+ignominious grave. It was then that her brothers deemed it full time to
+act. Their father, on the night before the day on which poor Raymond was
+rescued from death, observed them secretly preparing firearms,--for they
+had already, as the reader knows, satisfied themselves that M'Clutchy,
+junior, would not fight--took an opportunity of securing their weapons
+in a place where he knew they could not be found. This, however, was of
+little avail--they told him it must and should be done, and that neither
+he nor any other individual in existence should debar them from the
+execution of their just, calm, and reasonable vengeance--for such were
+their very words. In this situation matters were, when about eleven
+o'clock the next morning, Father Roche, who, from the beginning, had
+been there to aid and console, as was his wont, wherever calamity or
+sorrow called upon him, made his appearance in the family, much to the
+relief of M'Loughlin's mind, who dreaded the gloomy deed which his sons
+had proposed to themselves to execute, and who knew besides, that in
+this good and pious priest he had a powerful and eloquent ally. After
+the first salutations had passed, M'Loughlin asked for a private
+interview with him; and when they had remained about a quarter of an
+hour together, the three sons were sent for, all of whom entered with
+silent and sullen resolution strongly impressed on their stern, pale,
+and immovable features. Father Roche himself was startled even into
+something like terror, when he witnessed this most extraordinary change
+in the whole bearing and deportment of the young men, whom he had always
+known so buoyant and open-hearted.
+
+"My dear young friends," said he, calmly and affectionately, "your
+father has just disclosed to me a circumstance, to which, did it not
+proceed from his lips, I could not yield credit. Is it true that
+you have come to the most unchristian and frightful determination of
+shedding blood?"
+
+"Call it just and righteous," said John, calmly.
+
+"Yes," followed the other two, "it is both."
+
+"In his cowardly crime he has evaded the responsibility of law,"
+continued John, "and we care not if his punishment goes beyond law
+itself. We will answer for it with our lives--but in the mean time, he
+must die."
+
+"You see, Father Roche," observed M'Loughlin, "to what a hardened state
+the strong temptations of the devil has brought them."
+
+"It is not that," said John; "it is affection for our injured sister,
+whom he has doubly murdered--it is also hatred of himself, and of the
+oppression we are receiving in so many shapes at his hands. He must
+die."
+
+"Yes," repeated the two brothers, "he must die, it is now too late."
+
+"Ha!" said the priest, "I understand you; there is an oath here."
+
+The three brothers smiled, but spoke not.
+
+"Are ye my sons?" said the father, in tears, "and will you, who were
+ever obedient and dutiful, disregard me now?"
+
+"In this one thing we must," said John "we know you not now as our
+father. Am I right?" said he, addressing his brothers.
+
+"You are right," they replied, "in this thing he is not our father."
+
+"Great God!" said the priest, trembling with absolute dread at a scene
+so different from any he had ever witnessed, "Merciful Father, hear our
+prayers, and drive the evil spirits of vengeance and blood out of the
+hearts of these wicked men!"
+
+"Amen!" said their father, "and rescue them from the strong temptations
+of the devil which are in them and upon them. Why do you not even pray
+to God--"
+
+"--For strength to do it--we did, and we do," said John, interrupting
+him.
+
+Father Roche looked at them, and there they stood, pale, silent, and
+with a smile upon their lips which filled him with a description of
+awe and fear that was new to him. Their father was little better; the
+perspiration stood on his brow, and as he looked at them, he at times
+began to doubt their very identity, and to believe that the whole
+interview might be a phantasma, or a hideous dream.
+
+"You have sworn an oath," said the priest. "Rash and sinful men, you
+dared blasphemously to take, as it were, the Almighty into a league of
+blood! Do you not know that the creature you are about to slay is the
+work of your Creator, even as you are yourselves, and what power
+have you over his life? I see, I see," he added, "you have taken a
+sacrilegious oath of blood!"
+
+"We have taken an oath of blood," said they, "and we will keep it."
+
+"But is this just to your sister?" said the priest; "do you believe in
+the justice of an Almighty Providence? Is there no probability that, if
+this man lives, circumstances may come to light by which her fair and
+spotless character may be vindicated to the world? On the contrary,
+should you now take his life, you prevent any such possibility from ever
+happening; and your own rashness and ungodly crime, will be the means of
+sending her name down to posterity, foul and spotted with the imputation
+of woman's worst guilt. Is that love for your sister?"
+
+Father Roche now began to see that he must argue with their passions--or
+with that strong affection for their sister, upon which these
+fearful passions were founded--rather than with their reason or their
+prejudices, which, in point of fact were now immovably set in the dark
+determination of crime.
+
+"Do you forget," he added, "that there are laws in the country to
+pursue and overtake the murderer? Do you forget that you will die an
+ignominious death, and that, instead of acting an honorable part in
+life, as becomes your ancient and noble name, you will bequeath nothing
+to your parents but an inheritance of shame and infamy?"
+
+"We have thought of all this before," said John.
+
+"No, not all," said the youngest; "not all, but nearly."
+
+"Well, nearly," said the other.
+
+"Then," said the priest, "you will not hesitate to renounce your most
+foul and diabolical intention?"
+
+"We have sworn it," said John, "and it must be done." To this the others
+calmly assented.
+
+"Well, then," said the earnest Christian, "since you fear neither
+disgrace, nor shame, nor the force of human laws, nor the dread of human
+punishment, you are not so hardened as to bid defiance to the Almighty,
+by whom you will be judged. Has he not said, 'thou shalt do no murder?
+and that whoso sheddeth blood, by man shall his blood be shed.' I now
+ask you," said he, "as one of the humblest of his accredited messengers,
+do you believe in God and fear him?"
+
+"We are sworn," said John; "the blood of him who has dishonored our
+sister's name we will shed, and it is neither priest nor parent who will
+or shall prevent us."
+
+"Is not a rash and unlawful oath a crime?" said Father Roche: "yes, and
+you know it is better broken than kept. I call upon you now, as your
+spiritual guide, to renounce that blasphemous oath of blood, and in the
+name of the Almighty and all powerful God, I command you to do it."
+
+"We deny your right to interfere," replied John, "we are not now at
+confession--keep within your limits; for as sure as there is death and
+Judgment, so sure as we will fulfil our oath in avenging the disgrace of
+our sister. That ends all, and we will speak no more."
+
+The good old man began to fear that he should be put to the most painful
+necessity of lodging informations before a magistrate, and thus become
+the means of bringing' disgrace and evil upon the family when it
+occurred to him to ask them a last question.
+
+"My dear young men," said he, "I have forgotten, in the agitation of
+mind occasioned by the unprecedented disclosure of your evil and wilful
+intentions, to ask, if you so far renounce God as to refuse to worship
+him. Kneel down, and let us pray." He himself and their father knelt,
+but the three brothers stood as sullen and immovable as before. Tho
+priest uttered a short prayer, but their conduct so completely
+perplexed and shocked him, that he rose up, and with tears in his eyes,
+exclaimed--
+
+"I am now an old man, and have witnessed many instances of error, and
+sin, and deep crime, but never before have I seen in persons of your
+early years, such instances--such awful, terrible instances--of that
+impenitence in which the heart, setting aside God and his sacred
+ordinances, is given over to the hardness of final reprobation. I can do
+no more, as the ambassador of Christ, but I must not stand by and see a
+fellow-creature--oh! thank God," he exclaimed, "a thought recurs to my
+mind which had for a time passed out of it. My good friend," he said,
+addressing old M'Loughlin, "will you bring Mary in, if she is able to
+come--say I request to see her here."
+
+"We will go now," said the eldest, "you can want us no longer."
+
+"You shall not go," replied Father Roche firmly, "if you are men,
+stay--or, if cowards, who are afraid to look into the depths of your
+own dark designs, you will and may go--we want you not." This language
+perplexed them, but they stood as before, and moved not.
+
+In a few minutes Mary came in, leaning on her father's arm; but, ah!
+what a change from the elegant outline and clear, healthy cheek--from
+the red plump lips, and dark mellow eyes, which carried fascination
+in every glance and grace in every motion! Sweet, and beautiful, and
+interesting, she still unquestionably was, but her pale cheek, languid
+eye, and low tremulous voice, told a tale, which, when the cause of it
+was reflected on, had literally scorched up out of her brother's hearts
+every remaining vestige of humanity.
+
+"Mary," said the priest, we have requested your presence, my child, for
+a most important purpose--and, in communicating that purpose to you, we
+indeed give the strongest proof of our confidence in your firmness and
+good sense--nay, I will add, in the truth and fervor of your dependence
+on the sustaining power of religion."
+
+"In my own strength or discretion I will never depend more," she
+replied, sighing deeply.
+
+"You must exert great courage and firmness now, then," rejoined Father
+Roche; "In the first place, you are about to have a disclosure made
+which will be apt to shock you; and, in the next place, I have only to
+say, that it is the absolute necessity of your knowing it, in order to
+prevent dreadful consequences from ensuing upon it, that forces us to
+make you cognizant of it at all."
+
+"I trust I shall endeavor at least to bear it," she returned; "I am
+not strong, and I do not think that too much preparation will add to my
+strength."
+
+"I agree with you, my child," said Father Roche, "and have only made
+such as I deemed indispensably necessary. The fact then is, my poor
+girl, that your brothers meditate violence against that most base and
+wicked person who--"
+
+"I know, sir, the person to whom you allude; but I will thank you, if
+you can avoid it, not to name him."
+
+"I have no such intention," replied the good man, "but bad and
+profligate as he is, it is still worse that your three brothers should
+propose such violence."
+
+"But what do you mean by violence--of course violence of any description
+is beneath them. Surely,--John, you would not stoop--"
+
+She looked at them as she spoke, and, as before, there was no mistaking
+the meaning of the cold and deadly smile which lay upon their lips, and
+contrasted so strongly and strangely with their kindling eyes.
+
+"What fearful expression is this," she asked, with evident terror and
+trepidation; "my dear brothers, what does this mean?--that is, if you
+be my brothers, for I can scarcely recognize you--what is it, in the
+name of heaven?"
+
+The brothers looked at her, but spoke not, nor moved.
+
+"They have taken an oath, Mary, to wipe out your shame in his blood,"
+added the priest.
+
+She immediately rose up without aid, and approached them.
+
+"This is not true, my dear brothers," said she, "this cannot be
+true--deny it for your sister."
+
+"We cannot deny it, Mary," said John, "for it is true, and must be
+done--our vengeance is ripe, hot, burning, and will wait no longer."
+
+"John," said she, calmly, "recollect 'vengeance is mine, saith the Lord,
+and I will repay it.'"
+
+"I told them so," said their father, "but I receive no attention at
+their hands."
+
+"Vengeance is ours," said John, in a deeper and more determined voice
+than he had ever uttered, "vengeance is ours, and we shall repay it."
+The others repeated his words as before.
+
+"Obstinate and unhappy young men," said the priest, "you know not, or
+you forget, that this is blasphemy."
+
+"This, my dear sir," observed their sister, getting still more
+deadly,pale than before, "is not blasphemy, it is insanity--my three
+brothers are insane; that is it. Relieve me, John," said she, recovering
+herself, "and say it is so."
+
+"If we were insane, Mary," replied her brother, calmly, "our words would
+go for nothing."
+
+"But, is it not a dreadful thing," she continued, "that I should be glad
+of such an alternative?"
+
+"Mary," said the priest, "ask them to pray; they refused to join me and
+their father, perhaps you may be more successful."
+
+"They will certainly pray," said she; "I never knew them to omit it
+a night, much less refuse it. Surely they will join their poor sister
+Mary, who will not long--" She hesitated from motives which the reader
+can understand, but immediately knelt down to prayer.
+
+During prayer the three brothers stood and knelt not, neither did they
+speak. When prayers were concluded, she arose, and with tears in her
+eyes, approached her eldest-brother.
+
+"John," said she, "can it be that the brother of Mary M'Loughlin is an
+assassin? I will answer for you," she said. "Kiss me, for I am weak and
+feeble, and must go to bed."
+
+"I cannot kiss you," he replied; "I can never kiss you more, Mary--for
+it must be--done."
+
+The tears still streamed copiously down her cheeks, as they did down
+those of her father and the amiable priest. The latter, who never took
+his eye off her, was praying; incessantly, as might be seen by the
+motion, of his lips.
+
+"Alick," she proceeded, turning to her second brother, "surely won't
+refuse to kiss and embrace his only sister, before she withdraws for the
+day."
+
+"I cannot kiss you, my pure sister; I can never kiss you more. We have
+sworn, and it must be done."
+
+"I thought I had brothers," said she, "but I find I am now
+brotherless--yet perhaps not altogether so. I had once a young,
+generous, innocent, and very affectionate playfellow. It was known
+that I loved him--that we all loved him best. Will he desert his loving
+sister, now that the world has done so? or will he allow her to kiss,
+him, and to pray that the darkness of guilt may never overshadow his
+young and generous spirit. Bryan," she added, "I am Mary, your sister,
+whom you loved--and surely you are my own dearest brother."
+
+Whilst she uttered the words, the tears: which flowed from her eyes
+fell upon his face. He looked at her pale features, so full of love and
+tenderness--the muscles of his face worked strongly; but at length, with
+a loud cry, he threw himself over, caught her in his arms, and laying
+her head upon his bosom, wept aloud. The evil spell was now broken.
+Neither John nor Alick could resist the contagion of tenderness
+which their beloved sister shed into their hearts. Their tears
+flowed fast--their caresses were added to those of Brian; and as they
+penitently embraced her, they retracted their awful oath, and promised
+never again to think of violence, revenge, or bloodshed.
+
+Thus did the force and purity of domestic affection charm back into
+their hearts the very spirit which its own excess had before driven
+out of it;--and thus it is that many a triumph over crime is won by
+the tenderness and strength of that affection, when neither reason,
+nor religion, nor any other principle that we are acquainted with,
+can succeed in leading captive the fearful purposes of resentment and
+revenge.
+
+"Now," said Father Eoche, "we have still a, duty to perform, and that
+is, to return thanks to Almighty God for the dark and deadly crime, and
+the woeful sorrow, which, by his grace and mercy, he has averted from
+this family; and I think we may take this blessing--for such surely it
+is--as an earnest hope that the same Divine hand, which has put aside
+this impending calamity from us, may, and will, in his own good time,
+remove the other afflictions which the enmity and wickedness of evil
+hearts, and evil councils have brought upon us; but especially let us
+kneel and return thanks for the great and happy change which, through
+the humility and affection of one of us, has been wrought upon the
+rest."
+
+He then knelt down, and on this occasion the iron sinews of these young
+men became soft, and were bent in remorse, sorrow, repentance. The pious
+priest prayed fervently and humbly, and as his tears fell fast, in the
+trusting sincerity of his heart and the meek earnestness of his
+spirit, it is almost unnecessary to say, that those of his little flock
+accompanied him. The brothers wept bitterly, for the rocky heart of each
+had been touched, and religion completed the triumph which affection had
+begun.
+
+Such had been the situation of this family on the day alluded to by
+Mr. Easel, who could not, of course, have had any means of becoming
+acquainted with them, but as we felt that the incidents were necessary
+to give fulness to his narrative, we did not hesitate to introduce them
+here, where a knowledge of them was so necessary. We now allow Mr. Easel
+himself to resume his narrative.
+
+
+"This venerable pastor," continues Mr. Easel, "is a thin, pale man, but,
+evidently, in consequence of temperance and moderation in his general
+habits of living, a healthy one. He cannot be less than seventy, but the
+singular clearness of his complexion, and the steady lustre of his
+gray eye, lead you to suppose that he is scarcely that. He is tall and
+without stoop, and, from the intellectual character of his high and
+benevolent forehead, added to the mildness of his other features, and
+his whole face, he presented, I must say, a very striking combination of
+dignity and meekness. His dress is plain, and nothing can be more fine
+and impressive than the contrast between his simple black apparel, and
+the long flowing snow-white hair which falls over it. His holy zeal as
+a Christian minister, unobscured by secular feelings, or an unbecoming
+participation in the angry turmoils of political life, possessed all
+the simple beauty of pure and primitive piety. Father Roche received
+his education on the Continent, in several parts of which he has held
+ecclesiastical appointments, one being the Presidency of an Irish
+College. He consequently speaks most, if not all, of the continental
+languages; but so utterly free from display, and so simple are his
+manners, that you would not on a first interview, no, nor on a second,
+ever suppose the man to be what he is--a most accomplished scholar and
+divine. In one thing, however, you never could be mistaken--that his
+manners, with all their simplicity, are those of a gentleman, possessing
+as they do, all the ease, and, when he chooses, the elegance of a man
+who has moved in high and polished society. He has only been a few
+years in Ireland. After a glass of wine and some desultory conversation
+touching public events and the state of this unfortunate and unsettled
+country, upon all of which he spoke with singular good temper and
+moderation, we went to see the manufactory, now that I had recovered
+from my fatigue. This building is two or three hundred yards from the
+house, and as we were on our way there, it so happened that he and I
+found ourselves together, and at some distance from M'Loughlin and his
+sons.
+
+"'You were introduced, sir,' said he, 'to me as Mr. Easel.'
+
+"I bowed.
+
+"'I am not inquisitive,' he added with a smile, 'because in this case I
+do not find it necessary; but I am candid.'
+
+"I began to feel slightly uneasy, so I only bowed again, but could say
+nothing.
+
+"'I have met you on the continent.'
+
+"'It is quite possible,' I replied, 'I have been there.'
+
+"He laid his finger on my shoulder, and added still with a gentle and
+significant smile, 'I am in possession of your secret, and I say so, to
+take you merely as far as I am concerned, out of a false, and myself
+out of a somewhat painful position. It would be embarrassing to me, for
+instance, to meet and treat you as that which you are not, knowing as
+I do what you are; and it will relieve you from the difficulty of
+sustaining a part that is not your own, at least so far as I am
+concerned.'
+
+"'I certainly perceive,' I replied, 'that you are in possession of that,
+which in this country, I thought known only to myself and another.'
+
+"'Your secret,' he said emphatically, 'shall be inviolable.'
+
+"'I feel it, my good sir,'I replied, 'and now, let me ask, on what part
+of the continent did we meet?'
+
+"Let it suffice to say here, that he brought himself distinctly to my
+memory, through the medium of a very kind office performed for a
+friend of mine, who, at the time, stood in circumstances not only of
+difficulty, but of considerable personal danger.
+
+"Having viewed the manufactory, which is somewhat of a novelty in this
+immediate locality, we were about to take our leave, when four men,
+evidently strangers, and each remarkable for that hardened and insolent
+look which begets suspicion at a glance, now entered the concern with an
+air of ruffian authority, and with all the offensive forms of which the
+law is capable, laid on an execution, to the amount of fourteen hundred
+pounds.
+
+"Old M'Loughlin received the intelligence, and witnessed the
+proceedings, with a smile, in which there was something that struck me
+as being peculiarly manly and independent.
+
+"'This,' said he, 'although coming from a quarter that I deemed to be
+friendly, is the heaviest blow, connected with our business, that we
+have received yet. Still, gentlemen,' he proceeded, addressing
+Father Roche and myself, 'I trust it won't signify--a mere passing
+embarrassment. This manufactory, as you may perceive, complete through
+all its machinery, which is of the very best and costliest description,
+together with the property in it, is worth five times the amount of the
+execution.'
+
+"'Yes, but you forget,' replied the leading ruffian, 'that property
+under an execution isn't to be judged by its real value. In general it
+doesn't bring one-tenth, no, nor one-fifteenth of its true value, when
+auctioned out, as it will be, under a writ.'
+
+"'Ay, by Jabers,' said another of them, 'an' what's better still, you
+forget that your lease is expired, and that Lord Cumber has sent over
+word for you not to get a renewal--nor Harman either.'
+
+"'Is this true?' I inquired of Father Roche; 'do you imagine it to be
+possible?'
+
+"'That fellow is bad authority for anything,' he replied, 'but I fear
+that in this Point, he is too correct. However, let us ask M'Loughlin
+himself, who, certainly, has the best right to know.'
+
+"This I resolved on, not because I was ignorant of the fact, which
+you know I had from M'Clutchy himself, but that I might ascertain that
+gentleman's mode of transacting business, and his fairness towards Lord
+Cumber's tenants.
+
+"'What this man says, Mr. M'Loughlin, surely cannot be possible--does he
+mean to assert that Lord Cumber refused to renew your lease, although
+he must be aware that you have expended in the erection of this fine
+manufactory a sum not less, I should suppose, than five or six thousand
+pounds.'
+
+"'Seven thousand six hundred,' replied the old man, setting me right,
+'nearly four thousand between Harman and us.'
+
+"'But he does not refuse to renew your leases certainly?'
+
+"'No,' said M'Loughlin, 'I cannot say that he does; but we have not been
+able to get anything like a distinct reply from him on the subject--and,
+as far as reports go, they are certainly not in our favor. We have
+written to Lord Cumber himself, and the only reply we could obtain was,
+that he had placed the whole matter in the hands of M'Clutchy, in whose
+justice and integrity, he said, he had the highest confidence, and that
+consequently we must abide by his decision. My own impression is, that
+he is determined to ruin us, which he certainly will, should he refuse
+us a renewal.'
+
+"'There can be no doubt about it,' said the eldest son, 'nor that his
+management of the estate and his general administration of justice are
+woefully one-sided.'
+
+"'I don't choose to hear Mr. M'Clutchy abused,' said the leading fellow,
+who, in truth, was one of his blood-hounds, as were all the rest, with
+one exception only, 'nor I won't hear him abused. You wouldn't have
+him show the same favor to Papists that he would show to good, honest
+Protestants, that are staunch and. loyal to Church and State--by Jabers,
+that would be nice work! Do you think a man's not to show favor to his
+own side, either as a magistrate or agent?--faith that's good!'
+
+"'And I'll tell you more,' said another of them, addressing John
+M'Loughlin, 'do you think, that if he dared to put Papishes on a level
+with us, that we'd suffer it? By Gog, you're out of it if you do--we
+know a horse of another color, my buck.'
+
+"'To whom do you address such insolent language as this?' asked the
+young man, 'you are here in execution of your duty, and you had better
+confine yourself to that.'
+
+"'To you, my buck, I address it, and to any Papish that doesn't like
+it--and if I'm here to discharge my duty, I'll discharge it,' and he
+shook his head with insolence as he spoke; 'an' what's more, I'm
+afeard of no man--and I'll discharge my duty as I like, that's another
+thing--as I like to discharge it. Ha! d--n me, I'm not to be put down by
+a parcel of Priests and Papishes, if they were ten times as bad as they
+are.'
+
+"'You are a low ruffian,' replied the young man, 'far beneath my
+resentment or my notice; and it is precisely such scoundrels as
+you, ignorant and brutal, who bring shame and infamy upon religion
+itself--and are a multiplied curse to the country.'
+
+"'Very well, my buck,' persisted this ferocious bigot, 'may be the day
+will come when we'll make you remember this traisen, and swally it too.
+How would you like to get a touch of the wreckers, my buck?--an' by
+Jabers, take care that you're not in for a lick. A lease! d--n me but
+it would be a nice thing to give the like o' you a lease! None o' your
+sort, my buck, will get that trick, so long as loyal M'Clutchy's on the
+property.'
+
+"Father Roche having taken the young man's arm, led him away; wishing
+to avoid any further altercation with such persons, and immediately
+afterwards they set about completing an inventory of all the property,
+machinery, etc., in the establishment.
+
+"'There was one expression used by that man,' I observed, when we
+got out again upon the Castle Cumber road, 'which I do not properly
+understand; it was, 'how should you like to get a touch of the
+wreckers?'
+
+"'The wreckers, sir,' replied old M'Loughlin, 'are a set of men such as
+that fellow we have just been speaking to--brimful of venom and hatred
+against Catholics and their religion. Their creed consists of two
+principles, one of which I have just mentioned, that is, hatred of
+us; the other is a blind attachment to the Orange system. These two
+combined, constitute a loyalist of the present day; and with such
+impressions operating upon a large mass of men like the fellow inside,
+who belong to an ascendant party, and are permitted to carry arms and
+ammunition wherever they like, either to search your house or mine,
+on the most frivolous pretences, it is not surprising that the country
+should be as it is; but it is surprising, that exposed as we are to such
+men, without adequate protection, we should possess any attachment at
+all to the throne and, constitution of these realms; or to a government
+which not only suffers such a state of things to exist, but either
+connives at or encourages it. For instance, it was the exhibition of
+such principles as you have heard that man avow, that got him and those
+who accompany him their appointments; for, I am sorry to say, that there
+is no such successful recommendation as this violent party! spirit, even
+to situations of the very lowest class. The highest are generally held
+by Orangemen, and it is attachment to their system that constitutes
+the only passport now-a-days to every office in the country, from the
+secretary to the scavenger.'
+
+"This, I fear, is rather an overtime account of the state of things in
+the portion of Ireland from which I write; but, whilst I admit this,
+I am far from saying that the faults are all on one side. There are
+prejudices equally ferocious, and quite as senseless and ignorant, on
+the part of the Roman Catholic party--prejudices resulting sometimes
+from education, and sometimes from the want of it; but, which certainly
+contribute their full share to the almost disorganized state of society
+by which I am surrounded."
+
+
+From the same to the same in continuation.
+
+"May 10, 18--. My dear Spinageberd---Feeling, as I did, exceedingly
+anxious to make myself acquainted with the true principles of the Orange
+institutions which have spread themselves so rapidly over the country, I
+need scarcely say to you that I left nothing that was fair and honorable
+undone, on my part, to accomplish that object; or, in other words,
+to ascertain whether their private principles, as a political body,
+harmonize with their public practices. It is but fair to render justice
+to every party, and consequently it is only right and equitable to
+inquire whether the violent outrages committed by the low and ignorant
+men who belong to their body, are defensible by the regulations which
+are laid down for their guidance.
+
+"On looking over the general declaration of the objects of the
+institution, one is certainly struck by the fairness, and liberality,
+and moderation, joined to a becoming avowal of attachment to the
+Protestant religion and the throne, which it breathes. Here, however,
+it is, _verbatim et literatim_, in its authentic shape, with all that is
+good or evil in it laid clearly before you. I deem it right, however, to
+preface it by the greater portion of a short but significant Report, to
+which are prefixed the following memorable names:--
+
+"'At a meeting of the Grand Orange Lodge of Ireland, November 29, 1798.
+Present:--Thomas Verner, Grand Master; J. C. Beresford, grand secretary;
+R. C. Smith, jun., deputy secretary; H. A. Woodward; J. S. Rochfort; T.
+F. Knipe; Samuel Montgomery; Harding Giffard; William Richardson; John
+Fisher; William Corbett; W. G. Galway; Francis Gregory. Harding Giffard
+and S. Montgomery, Esqrs., reported as follows:--
+
+"'Having been honored by the Grand Lodge with instructions to revise and
+select a proper system of rules, for the government of Orange Lodges, we
+beg leave to make a report of our progress.
+
+"'We are happy in being able to say, that in our duty upon this
+occasion, we received the greatest assistance from the experience of the
+Grand Master of Ireland, and his Deputy Grand Secretary, who did us the
+honor of imparting to us their sentiments.
+
+"'Encouraged by their help, we have ventured very materially to alter
+the shape of the confused system which was referred to us preserving the
+spirit, and, as much as possible, the original words, except where we
+had to encounter gross violations of language and grammar.
+
+"'The general, plan of our proceeding has been this, we have thrown what
+are, in our opinion, very improperly called the six first general rules,
+into one plain short declaration of the sentiments of the body.
+
+"'Next in order we have given the qualifications of an Orangeman,
+selected from the Antrim regulations, and the rather, as it breathes
+a spirit of piety which cannot be too generally diffused throughout an
+institution, whose chief object, whatever political shape it may assume,
+is to preserve the Protestant Religion. ******
+
+"'Samuel Montgomery, "'Henby Giffard. '"Nov. 20, 1798."
+
+
+GENERAL DECLARATION OF THE OBJECTS OF THE ORANGE INSTITUTION.
+
+"'We associate, to the utmost of our power, to support and defend
+his Majesty King George the Third, the constitution and laws of this
+country, and the succession to the Throne in his Majesty's illustrious
+house, being Protestants; for the defence of our persons and properties;
+and to maintain the peace of the country; and _for these purposes to we
+will be at all times ready to assist the civil and, military powers in
+the just and lawful discharge of their duty_. We also associate in honor
+of King William the Third, Prince of Orange, whose name we bear,
+as supporters of his glorious memory, and the true religion by him
+completely established in these kingdoms. And in order to prove our
+gratitude and affection for his name, we will annually celebrate the
+victory over James at the Boyne, on the first day of July, O.S., in
+every year, which day shall be our grand Era for ever.
+
+We further declare that we are exclusively a Protestant Association;
+yet, detesting as we do, any intolerant spirit, we solemnly pledge
+ourselves to each other, _that we will not persecute, injure, or upbraid
+any person on account of his religious opinions, PROVIDED THE SAME BE
+NOT HOSTILE TO THE STATE_; but that we will, on the contrary, be aiding
+and assisting' to every loyal subject, of every religious description,
+in protecting him from violence and oppression.
+
+
+Qualifications requisite for an Orangeman.
+
+"'He should have a sincere love and veneration for his Almighty Maker,
+productive of those lively and happy fruits, righteousness and obedience
+to his commands; a firm and steadfast faith in the Saviour of the world,
+convinced that he is the only mediator between a sinful creature and an
+offended Creator--without these he cannot be a Christian; of a humane
+and compassionate disposition, and a courteous and affable behavior. He
+should be an utter enemy to savage brutality and unchristian cruelty; a
+lover of society and improving company; and have a laudable regard for
+the Protestant religion, and a sincere desire to propagate its precepts;
+zealous in promoting the honor, happiness, and prosperity of his king
+and country; heartily desirous of victory and success in those pursuits,
+yet convinced and assured that God alone can grant them. He should have
+a hatred of cursing and swearing, and taking the name of God in vain (a
+shameful practice), and he should use all opportunities of discouraging
+it among his brethren. Wisdom and prudence should guide his
+actions--honesty and integrity direct his conduct--and the honor and
+glory of his king and country be the motives of his endeavors--lastly,
+he should pay the strictest attention to a religious observance of the
+Sabbath, and also to temperance and sobriety.
+
+
+Obligation of an Orangeman.
+
+"I, A. B., do solemnly and sincerely swear, of my own free will and
+accord, that I will, to the utmost of my power, support and defend the
+present king, George III., his heirs and successors, so long as he or
+they support the Protestant ascendancy, the constitution, and laws
+of these kingdoms; and that I will ever hold sacred the name of our
+glorious deliverer, William III., prince of Orange; and I do further
+swear, that I am not, nor ever was, a Roman Catholic or Papist; that I
+was not, am not, nor ever will be, a United Irishman, and that I never
+took the oath of secrecy to that, or any other treasonable society; and
+I do further swear, in the presence of Almighty God, that I will always
+conceal, and never will reveal, either part or parts of what is now to
+be privately communicated to me, until I shall be authorized so to do
+by the proper authorities of the Orange institution; that I will neither
+write it, nor indite it, stamp, stain, or engrave it, nor cause it so to
+be done, on paper, parchment, leaf, bark, stick, or stone, or anything,
+so that it may be known; and I do further swear, that I have not, to my
+knowledge or belief, been proposed and rejected in, or expelled from
+any other Orange Lodge; and that I now become an Orangeman without fear,
+bribery, or corruption.
+
+"'SO HELP ME GOD.'
+
+
+Secret Articles.
+
+"'1st. That we will bear true allegiance to his majesty, king George
+III., his heirs and successors, so long as he or they support the
+Protestant ascendancy and that we will faithfully support and maintain
+the laws and constitution of these kingdoms.
+
+"'2d. That we will be true to all Orangemen in all just actions,
+neither wronging one, nor seeing him wronged to our knowledge, without
+acquainting him thereof.
+
+'"3d. That we are not to see a brother offended for sixpence or one
+shilling, or more, if convenient, which must be returned next meeting if
+possible.
+
+"'4th. We must not give the first assault to any person whatever; that
+may bring a brother into trouble.
+
+"'5th. We are not to carry away money, goods, or anything from any
+person whatever, except arms and ammunition, and those only from an
+enemy.
+
+"'6th. We are to appear in ten hours' warning, or whatever time is
+required, if possible (provided it is not hurtful to ourselves or
+families, and that we are served with a lawful summons from the master),
+otherwise we are fined as the company think proper.
+
+"'7th. No man can be made an Orangeman without the unanimous approbation
+of the body.
+
+"'8th. An Orangeman is to keep a brother's secrets as his own, unless in
+case of murder, treason, and perjury; and that of his own free will.
+
+"'9th. No Roman Catholic can be admitted on any account.
+
+"'10th. Any Orangeman who acts contrary to these rules shall be
+expelled, and the same reported to all the Lodges in the kingdom and
+elsewhere.
+
+"'GOD SAVE THE KING.'
+
+
+"Among the Secret Articles are the following, which, by the way, are
+pretty significant, when properly understood:--
+
+"'4th--We must not give the first assault to any person whatever; that
+might bring a brother into trouble.'
+
+"'5th--We are not to carry away money, goods, or anything from any
+person whatever, except arms and ammunition, and those only from an
+enemy.'
+
+"'6th--We are to appear in ten hours' warning, or whatever time is
+required, if possible, (provided it is not hurtful to ourselves or
+families, and that we are served with a lawful summons from the master),
+otherwise we are fined as the company think proper.'
+
+"The Marksman's obligation is merely a repetition of the same
+description of allegiance to the king, his heirs, and successors, so
+long as he or they maintain the Protestant ascendancy, &c, &c, together
+with such other obligations of secrecy as are to be found either in
+Orange or Ribbon Lodges, with very slight difference in their form and
+expression.
+
+"Now, my dear Spinageberd, I first call your attention to that portion
+which is headed 'Qualifications necessary for an Orangeman;' and I think
+you will agree with me that it would be difficult, almost impossible, to
+find in any organized society, whether open or secret, a more formidable
+code of qualifications for such as may be anxious to enroll themselves
+amongst its members. And I have no doubt, that had the other portions of
+it been conceived and acted on in the same spirit, Orangeism would
+have become a very different system from that which under its name
+now influences the principles, and inflames the passions of the lower
+classes of Protestants, and stimulates them too frequently to violence,
+and outrage, and persecution itself, under a conviction that they
+are only discharging their duties by a faithful adherence to its
+obligations. These obligations, however, admirable as they are and
+ably drawn up, possess neither power nor influence in the system, being
+nothing more nor less than an abstract series of religious and moral
+duties recommended to practice, but stript of any force of obligation
+that might impress them on the heart and principles. They are not
+embodied at all in the code in any shape or form that might touch the
+conscience or regulate the conduct, but on the contrary, stand there as
+a thing to look at and admire, but not as a matter of duty. If they had
+been even drawn up as a solemn declaration, asserting on the part of the
+newly made member, a conviction that strict observance of their precepts
+was an indispensable and necessary part of his obligations as an
+Orangeman, they might have been productive of good effect, and raised
+the practices of the institution from many of the low and gross
+atrocities which disgraced it. I cannot deny, however, that Orangeism,
+with all its crimes and outrages, has rendered very important services
+to the political Protestantism of the country. In fact, it was produced
+at the period of its formation by the almost utter absence of spiritual
+religion in the Established Church. Some principle was necessary to keep
+Protestantism from falling to pieces, and as a good one could not be
+found in a church which is at this moment one mass of sordid and selfish
+secularity,* there was nothing left for it but a combination such
+as this. Indeed, you could form no conception of the state of the
+Protestant Church here, even while I write, although you might form
+a very gorgeous one of the Establishment. The truth is she is all
+Establishment and no Church; and is, to quote Swift's celebrated
+simile--
+
+     "Like a fat corpse upon a bed,
+     That rots and stinks in state."
+
+     * Let the reader remember that this, and almost everything
+     that refers to the Irish Establishment, is supposed to have
+     been written about forty years ago.
+
+"There was no purifying or restraining power in the Establishment to
+modify, improve, or elevate the principles of Orangeism at all. And what
+has been the consequence? Why, that in attempting to infuse her spirit
+into the new system she was overmatched herself, and instead of making
+Orangeism Christian, the institution has made her Orange. This is fact.
+The only thing we have here now in the shape of a Church is the Orange
+system, for if you take that away what remains?
+
+"This, my dear Spinageberd, is not to be wondered at; for no effects are
+without their causes. In this country nobody ever dreams of entering the
+Established Church, from pure and pious motives. In such a Church piety
+may be corrupted, but it is seldom rewarded. No, the description of
+persons who now enter the Church are the younger sons of our nobility
+and gentry, of our squires, our dignitaries, and wealthy professional
+men; of our judges, generals, our deans, and our bishops. Among the sons
+of such men the Church is carved out, with the exception of the chines,
+and sirloins, and other best joints, all of which are devoured by
+peculiar description of Englishmen, named Bishops, who are remarkable
+for excessively long claws and very shark-like teeth. In this, however,
+we do not blame England, but agree with Dean Swift who asserted, that in
+his day, she uniformly selected the most unassuming, learned and pious
+individuals she could get; fitted them out as became such excellent
+Christian men, and sent them over with the best intentions imaginable,
+to instruct the Irish in all Christian truth and humility. It so
+happened, however, that as soon as they had reached Hounslow Heath, they
+were every man, without exception, stopped, stripped, and robbed, by
+the gentlemen who frequent that celebrated locality; who, thinking that
+robbery on the high Church was safer and more lucrative than robbery
+upon the highway, came over here instead of pious men, where they
+remained in their original capacity for the remainder of their lives.
+
+"It is impossible, in fact, that a Church so deeply infected with
+political corruption, so shamefully neglected in all that is spiritual
+and regenerative, and so openly prostituted to intrigue and ambition,
+can ever work with that high and holy efficacy which should characterize
+her. These, however, are not her purposes, nor are they aimed at. She
+exists here merely as an unholy bond between the political interests
+of the two countries, maintaining British authority by her wealth, and
+corrupting Irish honesty by her example. I have already enumerated the
+class of persons who enter her, and touched upon the motives by which
+they are influenced. In large families, for instance, if there happen
+to be a young fellow either too idle, or too stupid for the labor and
+duties of the other professions, there is no inconvenience or regret
+felt. No matter--he Dick, or Jack, or Tom, as the case may be, will do
+very well for the Church. 'You will make a very good parson, Tom--or a
+Dean--or a-----no hang it, there I must stop, I was about to say Bishop,
+but not being an Englishman, you cannot carve that dish, Dick. Never
+mind--you can feed upon a fat living--or if one won't do--why, we must
+see and get you a pair of them, Bill.'
+
+"But this, my dear Spinageberd, is not all. You will be surprised, when
+I tell you, that there is no system of education necessary for entering
+into orders. No system, I repeat--properly so called--either Scriptural
+or Ecclesiastical. Some few divinity lectures are to be attended, which
+in general are neither well attended--nor worth attending--and that, I
+believe, is all. One thing is certain, that the getting certificates of
+attendance for these lectures is a mere form, as is the examination for
+orders. The consequence is, that a young candidate for a living goes
+into the Church burthened with very little of that lore which might
+spoil his appetite for its enjoyment; so harmoniously does everything
+here work together for the good of the pastors at the expense of the
+people.
+
+"I think I have shown you that there is little in the Church of Ireland
+that is likely to regulate or purify the spirit of Orangeism when coming
+in contact with itself. That it had little to gain from the Church in
+a spiritual way, and that the Church is not fulfilling the ends of
+her establishment here in any sense, is evident from the Report in the
+little work from which I have taken these extracts. In that passage
+it would appear that the very existence of a Church is forgotten
+altogether; for Orangeism is termed 'an institution, whose chief
+object--whatever political shape it may assume--is to preserve the
+Protestant religion.' I will now, before I close this batch, direct your
+attention to one or two passages that prove most distinctly the fact,
+that there stand clear in this oath of an Orangeman, principles, founded
+on foregone practices and conclusions, which never should have existence
+in a country so situated as this is.
+
+"The Orangemen, for instance, in the paper headed their 'General
+Declaration,' say, 'We associate for the defence of our persons and
+properties, and to maintain the peace of the country; and for these
+purposes we will be at all times ready to assist the civil and military
+powers in the just and lawful discharge of their duty.'
+
+"This, now, is all very plausible, but, perhaps, by looking a little
+more closely into the circumstances of the case, we may be able to
+perceive that in this passage, and one or two others of a similar
+character, the most objectionable part of the system lies disguised--if
+one can say disguised, because to me, my dear Spinageberd, the matter
+seems obvious enough. Who, then, are these men that come forward with
+arms in their hands, to proffer aid to the civil and military powers in
+the discharge of their duty? A self-constituted body without authority,
+who have certainly proved themselves to be brave men, and rendered most
+important services to the state, at a time when such services were, no
+doubt, both necessary and acceptable. The crisis, however, in which this
+aid was given and received, being but of brief duration, soon passed
+away, leaving the party opposed to government--the rebels--broken,
+punished, flogged, banished, hanged; in fact, completely discomfited,
+subdued, beaten down. In other words, the rebellion of '98 having been
+thoroughly suppressed, this self-elected body of men, tasting the sweets
+of authority, retain, under different circumstances, these obligations,
+which, we admit, the previous situation of the country had rendered
+necessary. They retain them in times of peace, and bring into operation
+against men who were no longer either in a disposition or capacity to
+resist, those strong prejudices and that fierce spirit which, originated
+in tumult and civil war. Why, nobody complains of the conduct of
+Orangemen, as a, body, in '98; it is of their outrages since, that the
+country, and such as were opposed to them, have a right to complain.
+
+"In another passage the declaration is still stronger and more
+significant: 'We further declare,' say they, 'that we are exclusively a
+Protestant association; yet, detesting as we do, any intolerant spirit,
+we solemnly pledge ourselves to each other, that we will not persecute,
+injure, nor upbraid any person on account of his religious opinions,
+provided the same be not hostile to the state.'
+
+'"That is to say, they will persecute, injure, or upbraid such persons
+only whose religious opinions are hostile to the state. But, now, let
+me ask any man of common sense, if he could for a moment hesitate to
+declare on oath what religion they have alluded to as being hostile to
+the state? There is, in truth, but one answer to be given--the Roman
+Catholic. What else, then, is this excessive loyalty to the state but a
+clause of justification for their own excesses, committed in the name,
+and on the behalf of religion itself? Did they not also constitute
+themselves the judges who were first to determine the nature of these
+opinions, and afterwards the authorities who should punish them? Here
+is one triumphant party with arms in their hand, who have only, if they
+wish, to mark out a victim, and declare his religion and principles
+as hostile to the state; and, lo! they are at liberty, by their own
+regulations, to 'persecute' him!
+
+"In the 5th secret article there occurs the following:--'We are not to
+carry away money, goods, or anything, from any person whatever, except
+arms and ammunition, and these only from an enemy.'
+
+"This certainly shows the nature of the cruel and domiciliary tyranny
+which they, subsequently to '98, carried to such excess in different
+parts of the country; and here, as in the other instance, what was there
+to guide them in determining the crime which constituted an enemy?
+Why, their own fierce prejudices alone. Here, then, we find a body
+irresponsible and self-constituted, confederated together, and trained
+in the use of arms (but literally unknown to the constitution), sitting,
+without any legal authority, upon the religious opinions of a class
+that are hateful and obnoxious to them--and, in fact, combining within
+themselves the united offices of both judge and executioner. With
+the character of their loyalty I have no quarrel; I perceive it is
+conditional; but the doctrine of unconditional loyalty is so slavish and
+absurd, that the sooner such an unnecessary fetterlock is struck off the
+mind the better. To-morrow evening, however, I am to be introduced to an
+Orange Lodge, after the actual business of it shall have been transacted
+and closed. This is a privilege not conceded to many, but it is one of
+which I shall very gladly avail myself, in order that I may infer from
+their conduct some faint conception of what it generally is."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIX.--An Orange Lodge at Full Work
+
+--Solomon in all his Glory--He Defines Drinking to be a Religious
+Exercise--True Blue and the Equivocal--Phil's Eloquence--A Charter
+Toast.
+
+
+From the same to the same.
+
+"Friday, * * *
+
+"The order of business for each night of meeting is, I find, as
+follows:--1. Lodge to open with prayer, members standing. 2. General
+rules read. 3. Members proposed. 4. Reports from committee. 5. Names of
+members called over. 6. Members balloted for. 7. Members made. 8. Lodge
+to close with prayer, members standing.
+
+"It was about eight o'clock, when, accompanied by a young fellow named
+Graham, we reached the Lodge, which, in violation of one of its own
+rules, was held in what was formerly called the Topertoe Tavern, but
+which has since been changed to the Castle Cumber Arms--being a field
+_per pale_, on which is quartered a purse, and what seems to be an
+inverted utensil of lead, hammered into a coronet. In the other is a
+large mouth, grinning, opposite to which is a stuffed pocket, from which
+hangs the motto, '_ne quid detrimenti res privata capiat_.' Under the
+foot of the gentleman is the neck of a famine-struck woman, surrounded
+by naked and starving children, and it is by the convenient aid of her
+neck that he is enabled to reach the purse, _or_; and, indeed, such is
+his eagerness to catch it and the coronet, that he does not seem to
+care much whether he strangles her or not. On the leaden coronet, is the
+motto, alluding to the head which fills it, '_similis simili gaudet_.'
+
+"I should mention, before proceeding further, that Mr. Valentine
+M'Clutchy, being master of the Lodge in question, was the individual
+from whom I had received permission to be present under the
+circumstances already specified. The ceremony of making a member is
+involved in that ridiculous mystery which is calculated to meet the
+vulgar prejudices of low and ignorant men. Sometimes they are made one
+by one, and occasionally, or, I believe, more frequently in batches
+of three or more, in order to save time and heighten the effect. The
+novice, then, before entering the Lodge, is taken into another room,
+where he is blindfolded, and desired to denude himself of his shoes
+and stockings, his right arm is then taken out of his coat and shirt
+sleeves, in order to leave his right shoulder bare. He then enters the
+Lodge, where he is received in silence with the exception of the master,
+who puts certain queries to him, which must be appropriately answered.
+After this he receives on the naked shoulder three smart slaps of
+the open hand, as a proof of his willingness to bear every kind
+of persecution for the sake of truth--of his steadfastness to the
+principles of Orangeism, and of his actual determination to bear
+violence, and, if necessary, death itself, rather than abandon it or
+betray his brethren.
+
+"About nine o'clock the business of the Lodge had been despatched,
+and in a few minutes I received an intimation to enter from the Deputy
+Master, who was no other than the redoubtable and heroic Phil himself;
+the father having been prevented from coming, it appeared, by sudden
+indisposition. As I entered, they were all seated, to the number of
+thirty-five or forty, about a long table, from which rose, reeking and
+warm, the powerful exhalations of strong punch. On paying my respects, I
+was received and presented to them by Phil, who on this occasion, was
+in great feather, being rigged out in all the paraphernalia of Deputy
+Master. The rest, also, were dressed in their orange robes, which
+certainly gave them a good deal of imposing effect.
+
+"'Gentlemen,' said Phil,--'Bob Sparrow, I'll trouble you to touch the
+bell, and be d--d to you--gentlemen, this is a particular friend of mine
+and my father's--that is, we intend to make a good deal of interest in
+him, if it's not his own fault, and to push him on in a way that may
+serve him--but, then, he's in the dark yet; however, I hope he won't be
+long so. This, gentlemen, is Mr. Weasel from England, who has come over
+to see the country.'
+
+"'Your health, Mr. Weasel,' resounded from all sides, 'you're welcome
+among us, and so is every friend of brother Captain Phil's.'
+
+"'Gentlemen,' said I,' I feel much obliged for the cordiality of your
+reception--but, allow me to say, that Mr. M'Clutchy has made a slight
+mistake in my name, which is Easel, not Weasel.'
+
+"'Never mind, sir,' they replied, among a jingle of glasses, which
+almost prevented me from being heard, 'never mind, Mr. Evil, we don't
+care a curse what your name is, provided you're a good Protestant. Your
+name may be Belzebub, instead of Evil, or Devil, for that matter--all we
+want to know is, whether you're staunch and of the right metal.'
+
+"'That, gentlemen,' I replied, 'I trust time will tell'
+
+"'I shall be very proud--I speak it not, I hope, in a worldly sense,'
+said a little thin man dressed in black--'no, not in a worldly sense I
+shall be proud, sir, of your acquaintance. To me it is quite sufficient
+that you are here as the friend of my excellent friend, Mr. Valentine
+M'Clutchy; a man, I trust, not without a deep and searching spirit of--'
+
+"'Come, Solomon,' said a large, broad-shouldered man, with a face in
+which were singularly blended the almost incompatible principles of fun
+and ferocity, 'Come, Solomon, none of your preaching here so soon--you
+know you're not up to the praying point yet, nor within four tumblers of
+it. So, as you say yourself, wait for your gifts, my lad.'
+
+"'Ah, Tom,' replied Solomon with a smile, 'alway's facetious--always
+fond of a harmless and edifying jest.'
+
+"'My name, sir,' added he, 'is M'Slime; I have the honor to be Law Agent
+to the Castle Cumber property, and occasionally to transact business
+with our friend M'Clutchy.'
+
+"Here the waiter entered with a glass and tumbler, and Phil desired them
+to shove me up the decanter. This, however, I declined, as not being yet
+sufficiently accustomed to whiskey punch to be able to drink it without
+indisposition. I begged, however, to be allowed to substitute a little
+cold sherry and water in its stead.
+
+"'I'm afeard, sir,' observed another strong-looking man, 'that you are
+likely to prove a cool Orangeman on our hands. I never saw the man that
+shied his tumbler good for much.'
+
+"'Sir,' said Solomon, 'you need not feel surprised at the tone of voice
+and familiarity in which these persons address you or me. They are, so
+to speak, sturdy and independent men, who, to the natural boldness
+of their character, add on such occasions as this, something of the
+equality and license that are necessarily to be found in an Orange
+Lodge. I am myself here, I trust, on different and higher principles.
+Indeed it is from a purely religious motive that I come, as well as
+to give them the benefit of a frail, but not, I would hope, altogether
+unedifying example. Their language makes me often feel now much I stand
+in need of grace, and how good it is sometimes for me to be tempted
+within my strength. I also drink punch here, lest by declining it I
+might get into too strong a feeling of pride, in probably possessing
+greater gifts; and I need not say, sir, that a watchful Christian will
+be slow to miss any opportunity of keeping himself humble. It is, then,
+for this purpose that I sometimes, when among these men, make
+myself even as one of them, and humble myself, always with an eye to
+edification even to the fourth or fifth cup.'
+
+"'But I trust, sir, that these Christian descents from your vantage
+ground are generally rewarded.'
+
+"'Without boasting, I trust I may say so. These little sacrifices of
+mine are not without their own appropriate compensations. Indeed, it
+is seldom that such stretches of duty on the right side, and for the
+improvement of others, are made altogether in vain. For instance, after
+the humility--if I can call it so--of the third cup, I am rewarded
+with an easy uprising of the spiritual man--a greater sense of inward
+freedom--an elevation of the soul--a benign beatitude of spirit, that
+diffuses a calm, serene happiness through my whole being.'
+
+"'That, sir, must be delightful.'
+
+"'It is delightful, but it is what these men--carnal I do not wish to
+call them lest I fall--it is, however, what these men--or, indeed,
+any merely carnal man, cannot feel. This, however, I feel to be a
+communication made to me, that in this thing I should not for the time
+stop; and I feel that I am not free to pass the fourth or fifth cup,
+knowing as how greater freedom and additional privileges will be
+granted.'
+
+"'Are the stages marked, sir, between the fourth and fifth tumblers?'
+
+"'Cups, my friend--there is a beauty, sir, in the economy of this that
+is not to be concealed. For instance, the line between the third and
+fourth cups is much better marked, and no doubt for wiser purposes, than
+is that between the fourth and fifth. At the fourth my spirit is filled
+with strong devotional tendencies--and it is given to me to address
+the Lodge with something like unctional effect; but at the fifth this
+ecstatic spirit rises still higher, and assumes the form of praise, and
+psalms, spiritual songs, and political anthems. In this whole assembly,
+I am sorry to say, that there is but one other humble individual who,
+if I may so speak, is similarly gifted, and goes along with me, _pari
+passu_, as they say, step by step, and cup by cup, until we reach the
+highest order, which is praise. But, indeed, to persons so gifted in
+their liquor, drinking is decidedly a religious exercise. That person
+is the little fellow to the right of the red-faced man up yonder, the
+little fellow I mean, who is pale in the face and wants an eye. His name
+is Bob Spaight; he is grand cobbler, by appointment, to the Lodge, and
+attends all the Popish executions in the province, from principle; for
+he is, between you and me, a Christian man of high privileges. As for
+our little touches of _melodia sacra_ during the fifth cup, the only
+drawback is, that no matter what the measure of the psalm be, whether
+long or short, Bob is sure to sing it either to the tune of _Croppies
+lie Down_, or the _Boyne Water_, they being the only two he can manage;
+a circumstance which forces us, however otherwise united, to part
+company in the melody, unless when moved by compassion for poor Bob, I
+occasionally join him in _Croppies lie Down_ or the other tune, for the
+purpose of sustaining him as a Christian and Orangeman.'
+
+"At this time it was with something like effort that he or I could
+hear each other as we spoke, and, by the way, it was quite evident that
+little Solomon was very nearly in all his glory, from the very slight
+liquefaction of language which, might be observed in his conversation.
+
+"It occurred to me now, that as Solomon's heart was a little bit open,
+and as the tide of conversation flowed both loud and tumultuous, it was
+a very good opportunity of getting out of him a tolerably fair account
+of the persons by whom we were surrounded. I accordingly asked him the
+name and occupation of several whom I had observed as the most striking
+individuals present.
+
+"'That large man with the red face,' said I, 'beside your pious and
+musical friend Spaight--who is he?'
+
+"'He is an Orange butcher, sir, who would think very little of giving
+a knock on the head to any Protestant who won't deal with him. His
+landlord's tenants are about half Catholics and half Protestants, and
+as he makes it a point to leave them his custom in about equal degrees,
+this fellow--who, between you and me--is right in the principle, if
+he would only carry it out a little more quietly--makes it a standing
+grievance every lodge night. And, by and by, you will hear them abuse
+each other like pickpockets for the same reason. There is a grim-looking
+fellow, with the great fists, a blacksmith, who is at deadly enmity
+with that light firm-looking man--touching the shoeing of M'Clutchy's
+cavalry. Val, who knows a thing or two, if I may so speak, keeps them
+one off and the other on so admirably, that he contrives to get his
+own horses shod and all his other iron work done, free, _gratis_, for
+nothing between them. This is the truth, brother Weasel: in fact my dear
+brother Weasel, it is the truth. There are few here who are not moved by
+some personal hope or expectation from something or from somebody. Down
+there near the door are a set of fellows--whisper in your ear--about as
+great scoundrels as you could meet with; insolent, fierce, furious
+men, with bad passions and no principles, whose chief delight is to get
+drunk--to kick up party feuds in fairs and markets, and who have, in
+fact, a natural love for strife. But all are not so. There are many
+respectable men here who, though a little touched, as is only natural
+after all, by a little cacoethes of self-interest, yet, never suffer it
+to interfere with the steadiness and propriety of their conduct, or the
+love of peace and good will. It is these men, who, in truth, sustain the
+character of the Orange-Institution. These are the men of independence
+and education who repress--as far as they can--the turbulence and
+outrage of the others. But harken! now they begin.'
+
+"At this moment the din in the room was excessive. Phil had now begun to
+feel the influence of liquor, as was evident from the frequent thumpings
+which the table received at his hand--the awful knitting of his
+eyebrows, as he commanded silence--and the multiplicity of 'd--n my
+honors,' which interlarded his conversation.
+
+"'Silence, I say,' he shouted; 'd--n my honor if I'll bear this. Here's
+Mr. Weasel--eh--Evil, or Devil; d--n my honor, I forget--who has come
+ov--over all the way--(All the way from Galloway, is that it?--go
+on)--all the way from England, to get a good sample of Protestantism to
+bring home with him to distribute among his father's tenantry. Now if
+he can't find that among ourselves to-night, where the devil would, or
+could, or ought he to go look for it?'
+
+"'Hurra--bravo--hear brother Captain Phil.'
+
+"'Yes, gentlemen,' continued Phil, rising up; 'yes, Mr.
+Civil--Evil--Devil; d--n my honor, I must be on it now--I am bold to say
+that we are--are--a set of--'
+
+"'Hurra--hurra--we are, brother Captain Phil'
+
+"'And, gentlemen, not only that, but true blues. (Three cheers for the
+Castle Cumber True Blue.) And what's a true blue, gentlemen? I ask
+you zealously--I ask you as a gentleman--I ask you as a man--I ask you
+determinedly, as one that will do or die, if it comes to that'--(here
+there was a thump on the table at every word)--I ask you as an officer
+of the Castle Cumber Cavalry--and, gentlemen, let any man that hears
+me--that hears me, I say--because, gentlemen, I ask upon independent
+principles, as the Deputy-Master of this Lodge, gentlemen--(cheers,
+hurra, hurra)--and the question is an important one--one of the greatest
+and most extraordinary comprehension, so to speak; because, gentlemen,
+it involves--this great question does--it involves the welfare of his
+majesty, gentlemen, and of the great and good King William, gentlemen,
+who freed us from Pope and Popery, gentlemen, and wooden shoes,
+gentlemen--'
+
+"'But not from wooden spoons, gentlemen,' in a disguised voice from the
+lower end of the table.
+
+"'Eh?--certainly not--certainly not--I thank my worthy brother for
+the hint. No, gentlemen, we unfortunately have wooden spoons up to
+the present day; but, gentlemen, if we work well together--if we be
+in earnest--if we draw the blade and throw away the scabbard, like our
+brothers, the glorious heroes of Scullabogue--there is as little doubt,
+gentlemen, as that the sun this moment--the moon, gentlemen; I beg
+pardon--shines this moment, that we will yet banish wooden spoons, as
+the great and good King William did Popery, brass money, and wooden
+shoes. Gentlemen, you will excuse me for this warmth; but I am not
+ashamed of it--it is the warmth, gentlemen, that keeps us cool in the
+moment--the glorious, pious and immortal moment of danger and true
+loyalty, and attachment to our Church, which we all love and practise
+on constitutional principles. I trust, gentlemen, you will excuse me
+for this historical account of my feelings--they are the principles,
+gentlemen, of a gentleman--of a man--of an officer of the Castle Cumber
+Cavalry--and lastly of him who has the honor--the glorious, pious,
+and immortal honor, I may say, to hold the honorable situation of
+Deputy-Master of this honorable Lodge. Gentlemen, I propose our charter
+toast, with nine times nine--the glorious, pious, and immortal memory.
+Take the time, gentlemen, from me--hip, hip, hurra.'
+
+"'Brother M'Clutchy,' said a solemn-looking man, dressed in black, 'you
+are a little out of order--or if not out of order, you have, with
+great respect, travelled beyond the usages of the Lodge. In the first
+place--of course you will pardon me--I speak with great respect--but, in
+the first place, you have proposed the charter toast, before that of
+the King, Protestant Ascendancy, Church and State; and besides, have
+proposed it with nine times nine, though it is always drunk in solemn
+silence.'
+
+"'In all truth and piety, I deny that,' replied little Bob Spaight.
+'When I was in Lodge Eleventeen, eleven-teen--no, seventeen, ay,
+seventeen--we always, undher God, drank it with cheers. Some of them
+danced--but othes I won't name them, that were more graciously gifted,
+chorused it with that blessed air of '_Croppies lie Down_,' and
+sometimes with the precious psalm of the '_Boyne Water_.'
+
+"'I'm obliged to Mr. Hintwell for his observations, for I'm sure they
+were well meant; but, gentlemen, with every respect for his--his greater
+and more tractable qualifications, I must say, that I acted from zeal,
+from zeal--zeal, gentlemen, what's an Orangeman without zeal? I'll tell
+you what he is--an Orangeman without zeal is a shadow without a light,
+a smoke without a fire,' or a Papist without treason. That's what he's
+like, and now, having answered him, I think I may sit down.'
+
+"Phil, however, whose first night of office it happened to be, as
+Chairman of the Lodge, had still sense enough about him to go on with
+the toasts in their proper order. He accordingly commenced with the
+King, Protestant Ascendancy, the Gates of Bandon, with several other
+toasts peculiar to the time and place. At length he rose and said:--
+
+"'Gentlemen, are you charged--fill high, gentlemen, for, though it's a
+low toast, we'll gloriously rise and drink it--are you all charged?'
+
+"'All charged, hurra, captain!'
+
+"'Here, gentlemen, another of our charter toast--The pope in the
+pillory, the pillory in hell, and the devils pelting him with priests!
+Gentlemen, I cannot let that--that beautiful toast pass without--out
+adding a few words to it. Gentlemen it presents a glorious sight, a
+glorious, pious, and immortal memory of the great and good--ha, beg
+pardon, gentlemen--a glorious, pious, and immortal sight--think of the
+pillory, gentlemen, isn't that in itself a glorious and pious sight? And
+think of the pope, gentlemen; isn't the pope also a glorious and pious
+sight?'
+
+"'With all truth and piety, and undher God, I deny that,' said Bob
+Spaight.
+
+"'And so do I,' said a second.
+
+"'And I,' added a third.
+
+"'What damned Popish doctrine is this?' said several others.
+
+"'Brother Phil, be good enough to recollect yourself,' said Solomon,
+'we feel, that as a Protestant and Orangeman, you are not doctrinally
+correct now; be steady, or rather steadfast--fast in the faith.'
+
+"Phil, however, looked oracles, his whole face and person were literally
+being expanded, as it were, with the consciousness of some immediate
+triumph.
+
+"'Gentlemen,' he proceeded, 'have a little patience--I say the pope is a
+glorious and pious sight--'
+
+"'Undher God--'
+
+"'Silence Bob.'
+
+"'But I mean when he's in the pillory--ek; d--n my honor, I have you all
+there! ha, ha, ha!'
+
+"'Hurra, hurra, three cheers more for the captain!'
+
+"'Gentlemen,' he proceeded, 'please to fill again--I give you now the
+Castle Cumber press, the _True Blue and Equivocal_, with the healths of
+Messrs. Yellowboy and Cantwell.'
+
+"'Hurra! Messrs. Yallowboy and Cant-well! hurra, Mr. Yellow, Mr.
+Yellow.'
+
+"Mr. Yellowboy, who had not been able to come earlier, in consequence of
+the morrow being publishing day with him, now rose. He was a tall, thin,
+bony-looking person, who might very well have taken his name from his
+complexion.
+
+"'Mr. Chairman, gentlemen, and brothers--I rise with great and powerful
+diffidence to speak, to express myself, and to utter my sentiments
+before this most respectable, and, what is more, truly loyal
+auditory--hem. In returning thanks, gentlemen, for the Castle Cumber
+True Blue (cheers), I am sure I am not actuated by any motive but that
+staunch and loyal one which stimulates us all--hem. The True Blue,
+gentlemen, is conducted--has been conducted--and shall be conducted to
+all eternity--should I continue to be so long at the head of it--so long
+I say, gentlemen'--here the speaker's eye began to roll--and he slapped
+the table with vehemence--'I shall, if at the head of it so long,
+conduct it to all eternity upon the self-same, identical, underivating
+principles that have identified me with it for the last six months.
+What's Pruddestantism, gentlemen, without a bold, straightforward press
+to take care of its pruvileges and interests? It's nothing, gentlemen.'
+
+"'Undher God, sir, and with all piety and perseverance I deny--'
+
+"'Silence, brother Bob, don't interrupt Mr. Yellowboy, he'll make
+himself plain by and by.'
+
+"'I deny--'
+
+"'Silence--I say.'
+
+"'Nothing, gentlemen--a candle that's of no use unless it's lit--and
+the press is the match that lights it (hurra, cheers). But, as I said
+in defending Pruddestantism, we advocate civil and religious liberty all
+over the world--I say so boldly--for, gentlemen, whatever I say, I do
+say boldly'--here he glanced at the Equivocal--'I am not the man to
+present you with two faces--or I'm not the man rather to carry
+two faces--and only show you one of them--I'm not the man to make
+prutensions as a defender of civil and religious liberty, with a
+Protestant face to the front of my head, and a Popish face in
+my pocket--to be produced for the adversary of Popery and
+idolatry--whenever I can conciliate a clique by doing so.' Here there
+was a look of sarcastic defiance turned upon Cantwell--who, conscious of
+his own integrity--merely returned it with a meek and benignant smile, a
+la Solomon.
+
+"'No, gentlemen, I am none of those things--but a bold, honest,
+uncompermising Pruddestant--who will support the church and Constitution
+for ever--who will uphold Pruddestant Ascendancy to the Day of
+Judgment--keep down Popery and treason--and support civil and religious
+liberty over the world to all eternity.'
+
+"'Cheers--hurra--hurra--success brother Yellowboy.'
+
+"'And now, gentlemen, before I sit down there is but one observation
+more that I wish to make. If it was only idontified with myself I would
+never notice it--but it's not only idontified with me but with you,
+gentlemen--for I am sorry to say there is a snake in the grass--a base,
+dangerous, Equivocal, crawling reptile among us--who, wherever truth and
+loyalty is concerned, never has a leg to stand upon, or can put a pen
+to paper but with a deceitful calumniating attention. He who can divulge
+the secrets of our Lodge'--(Here there was another furious look sent
+across which received a polite bow and smile as before)--'who can
+divulge, gentlemen, the secrets of our Lodge, and allude to those who
+have been there--I refer, gentlemen, to a paragraph that appeared in the
+Equivocal some time ago--in which a hint was thrown out that I was found
+by the editor of that paper lying-drunk in the channel of Castle Cumber
+Main-street, opposite his office--that he brought me in, recovered
+me, and then helped me home. Now, gentlemen, I'll just mention one
+circumstance that will disprove the whole base and calumnious charge--it
+is this--on rising next morning I found that I had eight and three
+halfpence safe in my pocket--and yet that reptile says that he carried
+me into his house!!! Having thus, gentlemen, triumphantly refuted that
+charge, I have the pleasure of drinking your healths--the healths of all
+honest men, and confusion to those who betray the secrets of an Orange
+Lodge!'
+
+"As each paper had its party in the Lodge, it is not to be supposed that
+this attack upon the Editor of the Equivocal was at all received with
+unanimous approbation. Far from it. Several hisses were given, which
+again were met by cheers, and these by counter cheers. In this
+disorder Mr. Cantwell rose, his face beaming with mildness and
+benignity--sweetness and smiles--and having bowed, stood all meekness
+and patience until the cheering was over.
+
+"'Brother Cantwell,' said Solomon, 'remember to discard
+self-reliance--let thy sup--support be from '--but before he could
+finish, brother Cantwell turned round, and blandly bowing to him, seemed
+to say--for-he did not speak--
+
+"'My dear brother M'Slime, I follow your admirable advice; you see I
+do--I shall'
+
+"'Mr. Chairman,' said he, 'gentlemen and dear brothers'--here he paused
+a moment, whilst calmly removing the tumbler out of his way that he
+might have room to place his hand upon the table and gently lean towards
+the chairman. He then serenely smoothed down the frill of his shirt,
+during which his friends cheered--and ere commencing he gave them
+another short, and, as it were, parenthetical bow. 'Mr. Chairman,
+gentlemen, and dear brothers, I do not rise upon this very unpleasant
+occasion--unpleasant to me it is, but not on my account--for the purpose
+of giving vent to the coarse effusions of an unlettered mind, that
+shapes its vulgar outpourings in bad language and worse feeling. No, I
+am incapable of the bad feeling, in the first place, and, thanks to
+my education, of illiterate language, in the second. It has pleased my
+friend Mr. Yellowboy--if he will still allow me to call him so--for I
+appeal to you all whether it becomes those who sit under this hallowed
+roof to disagree--it has pleased him, I say, to bring charges against
+me, to some of which I certainly must plead guilty--if guilt there be
+in it. It has pleased him to charge me with the unbrotherly crime, the
+unchristian crime, the un-orange crime'--here he smiled more blandly
+at every term, and then brought his smiling eye to bear on his
+antagonist--'of lifting him out of the channel about twelve o'clock
+at night, where he lay--I may say so among ourselves--in state of most
+comfortable, but un-orange-like intoxication.'
+
+"The audience now being mostly drunk, were tickled with this compliment
+to their sobriety, and cheered and shouted for more than a minute. 'Go
+on Cantwell! By Japers, you're no blockhead!'
+
+"'Under Providence, and with all piety I say it, he will vanquish the
+yallow sinner over there.'
+
+"'Brother Cantwell,' observed Mr. M'Slime, 'go on--the gift is not
+withheld.'
+
+"Another smiling bow to M'Slime, as much as to say, 'I know it's not--I
+feel it's not.'
+
+"'This, gentlemen, and dear brothers, was my crime--I acted the good
+Samaritan towards him--that was my crime. May I often commit it!'
+
+"'Is that your pretended charity, sir?' said Yellowboy, whose temper
+was sorely tried by the other's calmness; 'don't you know, sir, that you
+cannot become the Samaritan unless I become the drunkard? and yet you
+hope often to commit it!'
+
+"No notice whatsoever taken of this.
+
+"'--But perhaps there was still a greater crime in this affair. I
+allude to the crime of having, after the account of his frailty had
+taken wind through the whole country, ventured to defend it, or rather
+to place it in such a light as might enable the public to place it to
+the account of mere animal exhaustion, independent of the real
+cause. And I have reason to know, that to a very enlarged extent I
+succeeded--for many persons having heard of the circumstance in its
+worse and most offensive sense, actually came to my office--'
+
+"'Yes, after you had made it public, as far as you could.'
+
+"'--To my office, to inquire into it. And I assure you all, gentlemen,
+that from motives at once of the Christian and the Orangeman, I merely
+informed them that the gentleman had certainly had, about the time
+specified, a very severe fit--I did not add of intoxication--oh the
+contrary, I charitably stopped there, and now it would appear that this
+forbearance on my part is another crime. But even that is not all. The
+occasion which called forth the paragraph in the paper which I have
+honor to conduct, was one which I shall just allude to. Some time ago
+there was inserted in the True Blue a short article headed 'Susanna and
+the Elder,' in which certain vague and idle reports, fabricated by some
+person who bears enmity to a most respectable Christian gentleman, who
+honors us this moment with his presence--'
+
+"Solomon here approached him, and grasping his hand, exclaimed--
+
+"'Thank you, my dear brother Cantwell--thank you a hundred times;
+yours is the part of a true Christian; so go on, I entreat you--here is
+nothing to be ashamed of--I know it is good to be tried.'
+
+"'Now it was really the charity contained in the article from the True
+Blue that struck me so forcibly--for it not only breathed the scandal so
+gently, as that it would scarcely stain a mirror--and it did not stain
+the mirror against which the report was directed--but it placed it as
+it were, before his eyes, that he might not be maligned without his
+knowledge, on taking steps to triumph over it, which our friend did--and
+great was his triumph and meekly was it borne on the occasion. With
+respect to my political creed, gentlemen, you all know it is my boast
+that I belong to no party. I advocate broad and general principles; and
+the more comprehensive they are, so does my love of kind take a wider
+range. I am a patriot, that is my boast--a moderate man--an educated
+man; I am, at least, a competent master of the English language, which I
+trust I can write and speak like a gentleman. I am not given to low
+and gross habits of life; I am never found in a state of beastly
+intoxication late at night, or early in the day; nor do I suffer my
+paper to become the vehicle of gratifying that private slander or
+personal resentment which I am not capable of writing myself, and
+have not the courage to acknowledge as a man. I am not a poor, kicked,
+horse-whipped, and degraded scoundrel, whose malignity is only surpassed
+by my cowardice--whose principal delight is to stab in the dark--a
+lurking assassin, but not an open murderer--a sneaking, skulking thief,
+without the manliness of the highwayman--a pitiful, servile--but, I
+believe, I have said enough. Well, gentlemen, I trust I am none of
+these; nor am I saying who is. Perhaps it would be impossible to find
+them all centred in the same man; but if it were, it would certainly
+be quite as extraordinary to find that man seated at an Orange Lodge.
+Brother Yellowboy, I have the pleasure of drinking your health.'
+
+"Brother Yellowboy felt that he was no match at all for Cantwell; so in
+order to escape the further venom of his tongue, he drank his in return,
+and joined in the cheers with which his speech was received; for by this
+time the audience cared not a fig what was said by either party."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XX.--Sobriety and Loyalty
+
+--A Checkered Dialogue--The Beauty and Necessity of Human Frailty
+--A Burning and Shining Light Going Home in the Dark--The Value of a
+Lanthorn.
+
+
+"The character or forms of decency which had hitherto prevailed, now
+began to disappear. M'Clutchy's blood-hounds, or wreckers--for they
+were indiscriminately termed both--having drank a great deal of liquor,
+became quite violent, and nothing now was heard but party songs, loud
+talk, and offensive toasts, mingled with a good deal of personal abuse,
+and private jealousies of each other's influence with M'Clutchy.
+
+"'D--n your blood, Grimes, I'm as loyal as ever you were. Wasn't
+my grandfather a Tory hunter, who houghed and hanged more bloody
+Papishes--'
+
+"'Who's that,' said Bob, 'talking about hanging Papishes? Where--where
+are they to be hanged? Under God, I have seen more of the villains
+hanged than any other frail sinner in the province. Oh, it is a
+consoling--a sustaining sight!'
+
+"'What's the reason, then, that the Protestant gentry of the country
+don't stand by their own? Why do they deal with Papishes? By Japers they
+don't daserve us to stand by them.'
+
+"'I say, Fulton, it's a d--d lie. I was at the wrecking of the
+Ballygrass Threshers, when you shabbed sickness and wouldn't go.'
+
+"'And I am glad I didn't. A purty business you made of it--to pull down
+the houses, and wreck the furniture about the ears of a set of women and
+children; I say such conduct is disgraceful to Orangemen.'
+
+"'An' what the devil right have you to expect the sargeantship, then,
+when you won't perform its duties?'
+
+"'I don't care a d--n about you or it. The Pope in the pillory, the
+pillory in h--l--'
+
+"'--Sent the bullet through his palm, and kept his finger and thumb
+together ever since--
+
+"'Lerolero lillibullero, lillibullerobuuenela.'--
+
+     '--Sleet or slaughter, holy water,
+     Sprinkle the Catholics every one;
+     Cut them asunder, and make them lie undher,
+     The Protestant boys will carry their own.--.
+
+"'They can never stand the guns--the lead makes them fly--and, by
+Japers, they'll get it.--'
+
+"'What health, man? out with it; are we to sit here all night for it?--'
+
+"'He gets half his bread from a d----d Papish, merely because, he's his
+tenant--instead of getting the whole of it from me, that's better than a
+tenant, a brother Orangeman--
+
+     "'King James he pitched his tents between
+     The lines for to retire;
+     But King William threw his bomb balls in,
+     And set them all on fire.'--
+
+"In fact the confusion of Babel was nothing to it now, every voice was
+loud, and what between singing, swearing, shouting, arguing, drinking
+toasts, and howling, of various descriptions, it would not be easy to to
+find anything in any other country that could be compared to it.
+
+"Phil himself was by this time nearly as drunk as any of them, but in
+consequence of several hints from those who preserved their sobriety,
+and several of them did, he now got to his legs, and called silence.
+
+"'Silence, sil-sil-silence, I say, d--n my honor if I'll bear this. Do
+you think (hiccup) we can separate without drinking the Castle
+Cu-Cumber toast. Fill, gentle-(hic-cup)-men, here's Lord Cumber and
+the Castle-Castle Cu-Cumber property, with the health of
+Sol-Sol-Solo-Solomon M'Slime, Esq.--
+
+     "'For God will be our king this day,
+     And I'll be the general over--eh--over--no, no, under.'--
+
+"'Under, I believe (hiccup)--'
+
+"'Silence, there, I say.'
+
+"'My friends--my dear friends,' said Solomon--'my brothers--Christian
+brethren, I should say, for you are Christian brethren--Lord Cumber's
+health is a good thing, and his property is a good thing; and I--I
+return you thanks for it, as I am bound to do, as a Christian. Am I
+Christian? Well--' (here he smiled, and laying his hand upon his heart,
+added,) 'well I know what I feel here, that is all. My dear friends, I
+said that Lord Cumber's health and property were good things, but I know
+a thing that's better, more valuable, richer--and what is that? It
+is here, in this poor frail--but not frail so long as that thing is
+here--that thing, what is it? Oh, if you had prayed for it, wrestled
+for it, fought for it, as I did, you would know what it is, and all the
+delightful and elevating consolations it brings along with it. Surely
+some one drank Lord Cumber's health! That was well; he sitteth in a high
+place, and deserveth honor. Let us drink his health, my friends--let us
+drink it, yea, abundantly, even unto rejoicing. But what is this thing?
+Why, it is the sense of inward support, a mild, sweet light, that
+diffuses pleasant thoughts through you, that multiplies every good gift
+about you, that makes one cup of pleasant liquor seem two. It is not
+to many that these things are vouchsafed; not, I believe, to any here,
+always with humility and fear be it spoken, excepting Bob Spaight and
+myself--
+
+"'--July the first in Oldbridge town,
+
+responded Bob,
+
+     "' There was a grievous battle,
+     Where many a man lay on the ground,
+     By the cannons that did rattle.'--
+
+"'Yea,' pursued Bob, 'the gift is come, brother Solomon--the fifth cup
+always brings it--
+
+--'King James he pitched his tents between'--
+
+"'Aye, but, brother Bob,' resumed Solomon, 'the gift is a little too
+soon on this occasion. Let me give the words, and, Bob, if you could
+manage the 'Protestant Boys,' rather than 'Croppies lie Down,' it would
+suit it; and, indeed, it would be well if the whole congregation joined
+us in it. I shall give the words--let me see, long measure, eight lines,
+four nines, and four six-sixes;--
+
+     "'There's nought but care on every hand,
+     In every hour that passes, oh,
+     What signifies the life o' man,
+     An' 'twere not for the lasses, oh."
+
+eh, let me see--am I right?'
+
+"'Right,' they shouted, 'never were half so right, Solomon. We'll join
+you to a man,' and accordingly, with one voice, they gave the stanza
+at the top of their voices, little Bob leading them, to the air of
+'Croppies lie Down,' in a style that was perfectly irresistible.
+
+"Thus ended a night in an Orange Lodge, but not so out of it. Those who
+had to go any distance, were armed, and the consequence was, that when
+they got into the street, they commenced their usual courses: shots were
+fired in every direction, offensive songs were sung--any money for the
+face of a Papist--to hell with the Pope--Ram down Catholics, and so
+on. At length, by degrees these all ceased, the streets gradually grew
+quiet, then still, and another night closed upon the habits of a class
+of men, who, in the wantonness of their power, scarcely knew what they
+did.
+
+"Having witnessed the scene just described--a scene that accounted very
+clearly for at least one important phase of Irish life--I deemed it full
+time to go to bed, this being the inn in which I stop. I accordingly was
+about to ascend the staircase, from the lobby, for we sat in the back
+drawing-room, when I thought I heard a voice that was not unfamiliar to
+me, giving expression to language--in which I could perceive there was
+a very peculiar blending of love and devotion; that is to say, it was
+exceedingly difficult, from the admirable tact with which he balanced
+the application of the two principles, whether Solomon, for it was he,
+loved the physical or the spiritual system of the barmaid, for it was
+she, with more earnestness and warmth. The family at this time had all
+retired for the night, with the exception of boots, and the barmaid in
+question, a well made, pretty Irish girl, with a pair of roguish eyes in
+her head, that beamed with fun and good humor. Solomon, instead of going
+home, had got into a little retired spot behind the bar, called the
+snuggery, and into which, of course, she attended him with a glass of
+liquor.
+
+"'Eliza,' said Solomon, 'Eliza, I have often had an intention of asking
+you to allow me the privilege and the pleasure, Eliza, of some serious
+conversation with you. It is a trying world, a wicked world, and to--to
+a girl--so charming a girl as you are, Eliza--'
+
+"'Charming, Mr. M'Slime; well, well!'
+
+"'Charming, certainly, as regards your person, your external
+person--your person is indeed very charming, and verily, Eliza, this
+brandy and water is truly precious, so beautifully blended, that I
+cannot--now, Eliza, will you pardon me a small, but, I trust, not
+unedifying joke; yes, you will--I know--I see you will--very well, then,
+the little joke is pardoned--this brandy and water are so beautifully
+blended, that I cannot help thinking there is something in that sweet
+hand of yours that diffuses a delicious flavor upon it--I know that such
+things exist.'
+
+"'Upon my word, Mr. M'Slime, from such a religious gentleman as you are,
+I didn't expect--'
+
+"'Ah, my dear Eliza, that is coming to the root of the matter, and I
+am glad to find that you are not insensible to it. On that subject, my
+sweet girl, and you are a sweet girl--it is that I propose to speak
+with you--to commune with you--in a spirit, my dear Eliza, of love and
+affection. Will you then take a seat--a seat, my dear Eliza.'
+
+"'I fear I cannot, sir; you know there is no one else to keep an eye to
+the bar.'
+
+"'The business of the bar, my dear girl, is over for this night; but
+not, I trust--sincerely trust--that of the sweet barmaid; do sit, Eliza,
+pray be seated, and let me have a word with you in season; thank you,
+but not at such a distance, Eliza, such an inconvenient distance; I say
+inconvenient--because--ugh, ugh, I have caught a slight cold--as a trial
+it came--and I will receive it so, that has fallen for the time--ugh,
+ugh, ugh--upon my lungs, and renders it a good deal troublesome to me
+to speak loud; so that the nearer you sit--and it has affected my head
+a little, only with a slight deafness, though, which--were you speaking,
+my dear?'
+
+"'No, sir.'
+
+"'Yes, so I thought, you were saying something--will soon pass away.'
+
+"I thought this dialogue, on the part of M'Slime, too characteristic
+to be lost. I accordingly stole somewhat near the snuggery, until I got
+into a position from whence I could see them clearly, without being seen
+myself. It was quite evident from the humor, which, in spite of a demure
+face glinted from her eye, that Eliza's object was to occasion M'Slime
+to assume his real character, for I could easily see that from time to
+time she felt very considerable difficulty in suppressing her laughter.
+
+"'The deafness, Eliza, I feel particularly troublesome, though not
+painful; as while transacting business it f-forces me to sit so, very
+close to my clients.'
+
+"'But I am not a client, Mr. M'Slime, and you need not draw your chair
+so close to me--there now, that will do.'
+
+"'You are my sweet--sweet girl; you are my client--and you shall be my
+client--and upon a most important subject--the most important of all;
+verily, Eliza, this is a most delicious cup of refreshment. How did
+you flavor it--but, indeed, if I were, as I have been, before I was
+graciously called and chosen, I would have recourse to a harmless
+gallantry, and say that this most ambrosial beverage must have caught
+its sweetness from your lips--its fragrance from your breath--and its
+lustre from your eyes--I would say so--if I were as I have been--and,
+indeed, as I am--even yet, frail, Eliza, still frail, and very far,
+indeed, from perfection--but--still, even as I am I could scarcely
+scruple to relapse a little--yea, only a little, Eliza, for the sake of
+such lips--of such eyes--and such a fragrant breath. Alas! we are all
+frail.'
+
+"'But, Mr. M'Slime, I surely didn't think that you who stand so high
+in the religious world, and that the people look upon as a saint, would
+talk as you do.'
+
+"'Ah, Eliza, my dear girl, it is very natural for you in your hitherto
+darkened state to say so; but, sweet Eliza, if you had your privileges,
+you could understand me. For instance, in the indulgence of this
+precious little dialogue with you, I am only following up a duty that
+strengthens myself; for, Eliza, my precious creature, if more light were
+given you, you would be permitted to feel that an occasional lapse is
+for our good, by showing us our own weakness and how little we can do
+of ourselves. No--there is nothing which gives us so much confidence and
+strength as to know our own weakness; but, my sweet girl, of what use is
+it for us to know it, if we do not feel it; and why feel it--unless we
+suffer it for better purposes to teach us a practical lesson to humble
+us.'
+
+"'That's queer doctrine, Mr. M'Slime, and I don't properly understand
+it.'
+
+"'I know you don't, my darling girl; for it has not been given to you,
+as yet, to understand it. Nay, it seems, as it were, a stumbling block
+to you, in your present state.'
+
+"'Why, do you think me so very great a sinner, sir?'
+
+"'Not by acts, Eliza--and what a soft name is Eliza--soft as a pillow
+of down--but by condition. You are exalted now, upon pride--not personal
+pride, but the pride of position. You think you are incapable of error
+or infirmity, but you must be brought--down to a sense of your own
+frailty, as it were, for it is upon a consciousness of that, that you
+must build.'
+
+"'That is to say, I must commit sin first, in order to know the grace of
+repentance afterwards.'
+
+"'You put it too strongly, Eliza; but here is the illustration:--You
+know it is said 'there is joy in heaven over one sinner that repenteth,
+more than over ninety and nine just men.' And I know many, Eliza, who go
+through a long course of virtuous iniquity, in order that their triumph
+in the end may be the greater. I have myself practised it on a small
+way, and found it refreshing. And now, Eliza, bring me another cup of
+brandy and water, even for my stomach's sake; and, Eliza, my
+charming girl, put it to those sweet lips--that it may catch the true
+fragrance--Christian fragrance I wish I could say--for they are fragrant
+lips--and a sweet arm--a full tapering arm you are gifted with. Ah!
+Eliza, if you could feel as I feel--nay, it was the chair that was
+unsteady--my my heart is dis--dissolving, Eliza. If you were only a
+little more frail, my sweet girl--we could feel this a kind of religious
+exercise. Oh! these precious little frailties--these precious little
+frailties!'
+
+"'Mr. M'Slime you will excuse me, but I think you have got enough, and a
+little too much liquor. If you should be seen going home in an unsteady
+state your character would suffer.'
+
+"'Another cup of refreshment, Eliza--but I am not perfection--no--nor
+would I be perfection. What would life be without these precious little
+frailties--that make us what we are.'
+
+"'With all piety and undher------'
+
+"'Who is that,' inquired the maid, evidently startled, if not affrighted
+by a strange voice.
+
+"'I join--join you, brother M'Slime, for another cup of refreshment.'
+
+"'Bob Spaight--brother Bob--I am glad you are here; Eliza, my
+darling--my dove--another cup for Bob, and after that we shall aid each
+other home--will render one another Christian and mutual assistance.'
+
+"'Yes,' replied Bob, clearing his voice:--
+
+(Both voices simultaneously:)
+
+     Bob--'King James he pitched his tents between
+
+     Solomon--'There's naught but care on every hand,
+
+     Bob--'The lines for to retire,
+
+     Solomon--'In every hour that passes, O
+
+     Bob--'But King William threw his bomb balls in,
+
+     Solomon--'What signifies the life o' man,
+
+     Bob--'And set them all on fire.'
+
+     Solomon--'An' 'twerna for the lasses, O!'
+
+"Many thanks, sweet Eliza--oh! that I could say my frail Eliza; but I
+shall be able to say so yet, I trust; I shall be able to say so.'
+
+"'God forbid,' she replied. 'This is not for you, Mr. M'Slime--I
+certainly will give you no more this night. But Bob here is a favorite
+of mine. Bob, you will see Mr. M'Slime home?'
+
+"'In all piety and truth, I shall see that burning and shining light
+home,' returned Bob; 'in the meantime I will thank you for the loan of a
+lanthorn; the night is one of most unchristian darkness.'
+
+"Solomon had now reclined his head upon the table as if for sleep, which
+he very probably would have indulged in, despite of all opposition;
+but just at this moment his horse, car, and servant most opportunely
+arrived, and with the aid of Bob, succeeded in getting him away, much
+against his own inclination; for it would appear by his language that he
+had no intention whatsoever of departing, if left to himself.
+
+"'I shall not go,' said he; 'it is permitted to me to sojourn here this
+night. Where is Eliza? Oh! Eliza, my darling--these precious little
+frailties.'
+
+"'Bring the little hypocrite home out of this,' said she, with a good
+deal of indignation; for, in truth, the worthy saint uttered the last
+words in so significant a voice, with such a confidential crow, as
+might have thrown out intimations not quite favorable to her sense of
+propriety on the occasion. He was literally forced out, therefore; but
+not until he had made several efforts to grasp Eliza's hand, and to get
+his arm around her.
+
+"'She's a sweet creature--a delightful dove; but too innocent.
+Oh! Eliza, these precious little frailties!--these precious little
+frailties!'
+
+"'It's a shame,' said Eliza, 'and a scandal to see any man making such
+pretensions to religion, in such a state.'
+
+"'In all piety and truth,' said Bob, 'I say he's a burning and a shining
+light!'
+
+     "' King James he pitched his tents between
+     Their lines for to retire,' &c., &c.
+
+"And so they departed, very much to the satisfaction of Eliza and Boots,
+who were both obliged to sit up until his departure, although fatigued
+with a long day's hard and incessant labor. I also retired to my pillow,
+where I lay for a considerable time reflecting on the occurrences of
+the night, and the ease with which an ingenious hypocrite may turn the
+forms, but not the spirit of religion, to the worst and most iniquitous
+purpose."
+
+* * * * *
+
+And thus far our friend, Mr. Easel, whom we leave to follow up his
+examinations into the state of the Castle Cumber property, and its
+management, hoping that discoveries and disclosures may at some future
+day be of service to the tenantry on that fine estate, as well as to the
+country at large. In the meantime, we beg our readers to accompany us to
+the scene of many an act of gross corruption, where jobs, and jobbing,
+and selfishness in their worst shapes, aided by knavery, fraud, bigotry,
+party rancor, personal hate, and revenge long cherished--where active
+loyalty and high political Protestantism, assuming the name of religion,
+and all the other passions and prejudices that have been suffered to
+scourge the country so long--have often been in full operation, without
+check, restraint, or any wholesome responsibility, that might, or could,
+or ought to have protected the property of the people from rapine, and
+their persons from oppression. The scene we allude to is the Grand Jury
+Room of Castle Cumber.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXI.--Darby's Piety Rewarded
+
+--A Protestant Charger, with his Precious Burthen--A Disaffected Hack
+supporting a Pillar of the Church--A Political and Religious Discussion
+in a Friendly Way
+
+
+The Assizes had now arrived, and the Grand Panel of the county met once
+more to transact their fiscal and criminal business. We omit the grand
+entry of the Judges, escorted, as they were, by a large military guard,
+and the _posse comitatus_ of the county, not omitting to mention a
+goodly and imposing array of the gentry and squirearchy of the immediate
+and surrounding districts, many of Whom were pranked out in all the
+grandeur of their Orange robes. As, however, we are only yet upon our
+way there, we beg you to direct your attention to two gentlemen dressed
+in black, and mounted each in a peculiar and characteristic manner.
+One of them is a large, bloated, but rather handsome, and decidedly
+aristocratic looking man, with a vermilion face, mounted upon a splendid
+charger, whose blood and action must have been trained to that kind of
+subdued but elegant bearing that would seem to indicate, upon the part
+of the animal, a consciousness that he too owed a duty to the Church
+and Constitution, and had a just right to come within the category of
+a staunch and loyal Protestant horse, as being entrusted with the
+life, virtues, and dignity of no less a person than the Rev. Phineas
+Lucre--all of which are now on his back assembled, as they always are,
+in that reverend gentleman's precious person. Here we account at once
+for the animal's cautious sobriety of step, and pride and dignity
+of action, together with his devoted attachment to the Church and
+Constitution by which he lived, and owing to which he wore a coat quite
+as sleek, but by no means so black as his master's. The gentleman
+by whom he appears to be accompanied, much--if we can judge by their
+motions--against his will, seems to be quite as strongly contrasted
+to him, as the rough undressed hack upon which he is mounted is to the
+sanctified and aristocratic nag that is honored by bearing the Rev.
+Phineas Lucre. The hack in question is, nevertheless, a stout
+and desperate looking varmint, with a red vindictive eye, moving,
+ill-tempered ears, and a tail that seems to be the seat of intellect,
+if a person is to take its quick and furious whisking as being given
+in reply to Mr. Lucre's observations, or by way of corroboration of the
+truth uttered by the huge and able-bodied individual who is astride of
+him. That individual is no other than the Rev. Father M'Cabe, who is
+dressed in a coat and waistcoat of coarse black broadcloth, somewhat
+worse for the wear, a pair of black breeches, deprived of their original
+gloss, and a pair of boots well greased with honest hog's lard--the fact
+being, that the wonderful discovery of Day and Martin had not then come
+to light. Mr. M'Cabe has clearly an unsettled and dissatisfied seat, and
+does not sit his horse with the ease and dignity of his companion. In
+fact, he feels that matters are not proceeding as he could wish, neither
+does the hack at all appear to bear cordiality or affection to the state
+which keeps him on such short commons. They are, by no means, either of
+them in a state of peace or patience with the powers that be, and when
+the priest, at the conclusion of every sentence, gives the garran an
+angry dash of the spurs, as much as to say, was not that observation
+right, no man could mistake the venomous spirit in which the tail is
+whisked, and the head shaken, in reply.
+
+It is scarcely necessary to say that either Mr. Lucre or Mr. M'Cabe
+were at all upon terms of intimacy. Mr. M'Cabe considered Mr. Lucre as a
+wealthy epicure, fat and heretical; whilst Mr. Lucre looked upon Father
+McCabe as vulgar and idolatrous. It was impossible, in fact, that
+with such an opinion of each other, they could for a moment agree in
+anything, or meet as men qualified by the virtues of their station to
+discharge on any one duty in common. On the day in question, Mr. Lucre
+was riding towards Castle Cumber, with the pious intention of getting
+Darby O'Drive's appointment to the under jailorship confirmed. This was
+one motive, but there was another still stronger, which was, to have
+an interview with the leading men of the Grand Jury, for the purpose of
+getting a new road run past his Glebe House, in the first place, and,
+in the next, to secure a good job for himself, as a magistrate. At all
+events he was proceeding towards Castle Cumber, apparently engaged in
+the contemplation of some important subject, but whether it was the new
+road to his glebe, or the old one to heaven, is beyond our penetration
+to determine. Be this as it may, such was his abstraction, that he
+noticed not the Rev. Father M'Cabe, who had ridden for some time along
+with him, until that gentleman thought proper to break the ice of
+ceremony, and address him.
+
+"Sir, your most obedient," said the priest; "excuse my freedom--I am the
+Rev. Mr. M'Cabe, Catholic Curate of Castle Cumber; but as I reside in
+the parish it is very possible you don't know me."
+
+Mr. Lucre felt much hurt at the insinuation thrown out against his long
+absence from the parish and replied:--
+
+"I do not, sir, in the least regret our want of intimacy. The character
+of your ministry in the parish is such, that he who can congratulate
+himself on not being acquainted with you has something to boast of.
+Excuse me, sir, but I beg to assure you, that I am not at all solicitous
+of the honor of your company."
+
+"Touching my ministry," said the priest, "which it pleases you to
+condemn, I'd have you to know, that I will teach my people how to resist
+oppression so long as I am able to teach them anything. I will not allow
+them to remain tame drudges under burthens that make you and such as you
+as fat and proud as Lucifer."
+
+"I request you will be good enough, sir, to take some other way," said
+Mr. Lucre; "you are a rude and vulgar person whom I neither know nor
+wish to know. The pike and torch, sir, are congenial weapons to such a
+mind as yours; I do beg you will take some other way, and not continue
+to annoy me any longer."
+
+"This way, man alive--"
+
+"Man alive! To whom do you address such, a term?" said Mr. Lucre; "I
+really have never met so very vulgar a person; I am quite sickened, upon
+my honor. Man alive!! I trust I shall soon get rid of you."
+
+"This way, man alive," responded the priest, "is as free to me, in spite
+of corrupt jobs and grand juries, as it is to you or any other tyrant,
+whether spiritual or temporal. If there are turbulence and disturbances
+in this parish, it is because bad laws, unjustly administered, drive the
+people, first, into poverty, and then into resistance. And, sir, you are
+not to tell me, for I will not believe it, that a bad law, dishonestly
+and partially administered, is not to be resisted by every legal means."
+
+"Do you call noon-day murder, midnight assassination, and incendiarism,
+legal? Do you call schooling the people into rebellion, and
+familiarizing them with crime, legal? All this may be allegiance to your
+pope, but it deserves a halter from the king and laws, of England."
+
+"The king and laws of England, sir, have ever been more liberal of
+halters to the Irish Catholics, than they have been of either common
+justice or fair play. What do the Catholic people get, or have ever
+got, from you and such as you, in return for the luxury which you draw,
+without thanks, from their sweat and labor, but gaols, and chains, and
+scourges, and halters. Hanging, and transportations, triangles, and
+drumhead verdicts, are admirable means to conciliate the Catholic people
+of Ireland."
+
+"The Catholic people of Ireland may thank you, and such red hot
+intemperate men as you, for the hangings, and transportations which the
+violated laws of the country justly awarded them."
+
+"And have you, sir, who wring the blood and sweat out of them, the
+audacity to use such language to me? Did not your English kings and your
+English laws make education a crime, and did you not then most
+inhumanly and cruelly punish us for the offences which want of education
+occasioned?"
+
+"Yes; because you made such knowledge as you then acquired, the vehicle,
+as you are doing now, of spreading abroad disaffection against Church
+and State, and of disturbing the peace of the country."
+
+"Because, proud parson, when the people become enlightened by education,
+they insist, and will insist upon their rights, and refuse to be pressed
+to death by such a bloated and blood-sucking incubus as your Established
+Church."
+
+"If this be true, then, upon your own showing, you ought to be favorable
+to education among the people; but that, we know you are not. You have
+no schools; and you will not suffer us, who are willing, to educate them
+for you."
+
+"Certainly not, we have no notion to sit tamely by and see you, and such
+as you, instil your own principles into our flocks. But in talking of
+education, in what state, let me ask you, is your own church in this
+blessed year of 1804, with all her wealth and splendor at her back? I
+tell you, sir, in every district where the population is equal, we can
+show two Catholic schools for your one. When you impute our poverty,
+sir, as a reluctance to educate our people, you utter a libel against
+the Catholic priesthood of Ireland for which you deserve to be
+prosecuted in a court of justice, and nailed snugly to the pillory
+afterwards."
+
+"Nailed snugly to the pillory! I never felt myself so much degraded as
+by this conversation with you."
+
+"Sir, the Catholic priesthood have always been at their duty at the bed
+of sickness, and sorrow, and death, among the poor and afflicted; where
+you, who live by their hard and slavish labor, have never been known to
+show your red nose."
+
+"Red nose--ha--ha--dear me, how well bred, how admirably accomplished,
+and how finely polished. Red nose!"
+
+"Faith, you did well to correct me, it is only a mulberry. Wasn't your
+Irish Establishment in a blessed torpor--dying like a plethoric parson
+after his venison or turtle, until ould Jack Wesley roused it? Then,
+indeed, when you saw your flocks running to barns and hedges after
+the black caps, and the high-cheeked disciples of sanctity and strong
+dinners--you yawned, rubbed your eyes, stroked your dewlaps, and waddled
+off to fight in your own defence against the long-winded invaders of
+your rounds and sirloins. Where was your love of education before that
+shock, my worthy Bible man? Faith, I'm peppering you!"
+
+"Sir, if I could have anticipated such very vulgar insolence, I would
+have taken some other way. Why obtrude yourself thus upon me? I trust
+you have no notion of personal Violence?"
+
+"Wesley nudged you."
+
+"Nudged us! I do not understand your slang at all, my good sir. Those
+who are taken from the ditch to the college, and sent back from the
+college with the crust of their original prejudices hardened upon them,
+are not those from whom educated men are to expect refinement or good
+manners."
+
+"From the ditch! We are taken from humble life, proud parson, to the
+college; and it is better to enter college from the simplicity of
+humble life, than to enter the church with the rank savor of fashionable
+profligacy strong upon us. Not a bad preparation for a carnal
+establishment, where every temptation is presented to glut every
+passion."
+
+"You forget, sir, what a system of abomination your church was before
+the light of the Reformation came upon her; and what a mockery of
+religion she is to this day."
+
+"Whatever I may forget, I cannot but remember the mockery of religion
+presented by your proud and bloated Bishops who roll in wealth,
+indolence, and sensuality; robbing the poor, whilst they themselves go
+to h--l worth hundreds of thousands. I cannot forget that your church is
+a market for venal and titled slaves, who are bought by the minister of
+the day to uphold his party--that it is a carcass thrown to the wolfish,
+sons and brothers of the English and Irish aristocracy--and that
+its bishops and dignitaries exceed in pride, violence of temper, and
+insolence of deportment, any other class of persons in society. Sure
+they have their chaplains to pray for them--but my soul to glory--those
+that pray by proxy will go to heaven by proxy--and so they ought.
+Eh--faith I'm peppering you."
+
+"_De te fabula narratur_. Don't you live by praying for others? What are
+your masses?"
+
+"Fabula, why, a fibula for your fabula, man alive. What is your new
+fangled creed, but a fabula from the beginning?"
+
+"And are you yourself not a hireling in every sense of the word? Do you
+not make merchandise of the crimes and ignorance of your people?"
+
+"Make merchandise! This from you who take away a tenth part of the poor
+man's labor without the consciousness of even professing his creed?"
+
+"Do you ever worship the Lord aright, or address him in any language
+which the people can understand?"
+
+"And do you ever seek salvation with half the zeal displayed when you
+lay your keen nostril to the trail of a fresh benefice or a fat mitre.
+Do you not, most of you, think more of your hounds and kennels, than you
+do of either your churches or your flocks?"
+
+Mr. Lucre at length pulled up his horse and fixing his eyes on Father
+M'Cabe, inquired why he should have fastened upon him in so offensive a
+manner; and Mr. M'Cabe pulling up the hack we spoke of, fixed a pair of
+fiery orbs on him in return, and replied--
+
+"I haven't done with you yet, my worthy parson. You needn't scowl, I
+say, for if you had as many chins upon you as there are articles in
+your creed, I wouldn't be prevented from bringing you to an account for
+interfering with my flock."
+
+"Rude and wretched man, how?"
+
+"By attempting to pervert Darby O'Drive, the bailiff, and seduce him
+over to your heresies."
+
+"I would bring him over from his idolatry and superstition. But why do
+you, sir, tamper with a man--named--named--let me see--Bob--Bob Beatty,
+I think, who belongs to my congregation?"
+
+"Simply because I wish to bring him over from a false church to the true
+one."
+
+"It appears that because this simple person has been afflicted with
+epilepsy, you have attempted, through some pious juggling or other,
+to effect his cure, by enjoining him not to enter a church door or eat
+swine's flesh during his life. Are you not ashamed, sir, of such ungodly
+frauds as this?"
+
+"Swine's flesh! Call it bacon, man alive, like a man. Yes, and I tell
+you moreover, that I have cured him--and with a blessing shall cure him
+better still, if that is any consolation to you. From being a purple
+Orangeman, I have him now hard at work every day at his _Padderheen
+Partha_. But I now caution you not to unsettle the religious principles
+of Darby O'Drive, the bailiff."
+
+"Why, sir, the man has no religious opinion, nor ever had; thanks to Mr.
+M'Cabe."
+
+"And I'm bound to say, that such a thickheaded villian in religious
+matters as Bob Beatty I never met. God knows I had a sore handful of
+him. So, now remember my caution, and good bye to you; I think you'll
+know me again when you meet me."
+
+Lucre gave him a haughty scowl ere the priest turned off a bridle road,
+but made no other reply--not even by inclining his head to him; but,
+indeed, it was hardly to be expected that he should.
+
+Such is the anxiety to snap up a convert in Ireland, it matters not from
+what church or to what church, that Mr. Lucre lost no time in securing
+the appointment of honest Darby to the office of Castle Cumber Deputy
+Goaler--an appointment to which both M'Clutchy and M'Slime strongly
+recommended him, not certainly from an excess of affection towards that
+simple and worthy man, but from a misgiving that an important portion
+of a certain correspondence in the shape of two letters was in his
+possession, and that so far they were prudent in declining to provoke
+his enmity.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTEK XXII.---Castle Cumber Grand Jury Room
+
+--A Concientious Hangman--Way to a Glebe House of More Importance than
+the Way to Heaven--Irish Method of Dispensing Justice--Short Debate
+on the Spy System--Genealogical Memoranda--Patriotic Presentments--A
+Riverless Bridge
+
+
+We pass now, however, to the Grand Jury Room of the county, and truly as
+a subordinate tribunal for aiding the administration of justice, it was,
+at the time of which we write, one of the most anomalous exhibitions
+that could be witnessed. It was a long room, about thirty-six or forty
+feet in length, by thirty, with a fire-place at each end, and one or two
+at the sides. Above the chimney-piece was an oil painting of William
+the Third, together with a small bronze equestrian statue of the same
+prince, and another of George the Third. There were some other portraits
+of past and present jurors, presented by themselves or their friends.
+But there was certainly one which we cannot omit, although by whom
+presented, or on what occasion, we are wholly unable to inform the
+reader. We are inclined to think it must have been placed there by some
+satirical wag, who wished to ridicule the extent to which mere royalty
+was carried in those days, and the warmth of admiration with which its
+most besotted manifestations were received. The picture in question was
+the portrait of a pious hangman, who was too conscientious to hang any
+one but a Papist. They called him Jerry Giles; a little squat fellow,
+with a face like a triangle, a broken nose, and a pair of misplaced or
+ill-matched eye-brows, one of them being nearly an inch higher up the
+forehead than the other. Jerry, it seems, had his own opinions, one of
+which was, that there existed no law in the constitution for hanging a
+Protestant. He said that if he were to hang a Protestant felon, he
+would be forced to consider it in his conscience only another name for
+suicide; and that, with a blessing, he would string up none but
+such vile wretches as were out of the pale of the constitution, and
+consequently not entitled to any political grace or salvation whatever.
+And, indeed, upon the principles of the day, the portrait of Jerry was
+nearly as well entitled to be hung among the grand jurors as that of any
+one there.
+
+Seated about a long table, covered with green baize, were a number of
+men, with papers before them; whilst grouped in different parts of the
+room were the younger persons, amusing themselves by the accidents of
+the last meet--if it happened to be the hunting season--or the last
+duel, or the last female victim to the corruption and profligacy of
+some of those from whom, the people were to expect justice, and their
+families protection. Others were whistling or humming some favorite air;
+and one of them, a poet, was reading a squib which he had prepared for
+the forthcoming election.
+
+"Deaker, come here," said the Foreman, "you are up to everything. Here
+is Lucre, the parson, wants to have a presentment for a new line of road
+running through his glebe, or to his glebe--for I suppose it is the same
+thing."
+
+"Well," replied Deaker, "and let him have it. Isn't he as well entitled
+to a job as any of us? What the devil--why not put a few feathers in his
+nest, man? The county has a broad back."
+
+"His nest is better feathered than he deserves. He has two enormous
+livings, a good private fortune, and now, indeed, he must come to saddle
+himself upon the county in the shape of a job."
+
+"He has rendered good service, Mr. Hartley," replied another of them;
+"good service to the government, sir, with every respect for your
+wonderful liberality and honesty."
+
+"What do you mean, sir?" asked Hartley, sternly; "do you throw out any
+imputation against my honor or my honesty?"
+
+"Oh, Lord, no--by no means; I have no relish at all for your cold lead,
+Mr. Hartley--only that I don't think you stand the best chance in the
+world of being returned for Castle Cumber, sir--that is all."
+
+"Hartley," asked another, with a loud laugh, "is it true that your
+cousin, on bringing a message to young Phil M'Clutchy, pulled his nose,
+and kicked him _a posteriore_ round the room?"
+
+"Ask his father, Dick," said Hartley, smiling; "I have heard he was
+present, and, of course, he knows best."
+
+"I say, Vulture," inquired the other, "is it true?"
+
+"Ay," returned old Deaker, "as true as the nose on your face. That
+precious Phil, was a cowardly whelp all his life--so was his father.
+D--n you, sirra; where did you get your cowardice? I'm sure it was
+not from me; that is if you be mine, which is a rather problematical
+circumstance; for I take it you are as likely to be the descent of some
+rascally turnkey or hatchman, and be hanged to you, as mine."
+
+"Is it true, Val," persisted the former querist, "that young Hartley
+pulled Phil's nose?"
+
+"We have come here for other purposes, Dick," said Val. "Certainly Phil
+did not wish to strike the young man in his own house, and had more
+sense than to violate the peace in the presence of a magistrate, and
+that magistrate his own father."
+
+"How the devil did he put his comether on M'Loughlin's pretty daughter,
+Val?" asked another from a different part of the room.
+
+"That," said Deaker, "is the only spirited thing I ever knew him to
+manage. Is it true, Val, that he was found in her bedroom?"
+
+"It is certainly true," replied Val, with a smile of peculiar meaning;
+"and with her own consent too."
+
+"That's false, Val," replied Hartley; "and you know it. That he was in
+her room for a couple of minutes is true; but that he was there for
+any purpose prejudicial to her honor, that is, with her own consent,
+is false. The whole thing was a cowardly trick on the part of your son,
+concocted by the aid of old Poll Doolin, for the purpose of injuring the
+girl's reputation."
+
+"Ay," said old Deaker, "I dare say you are right, Hartley, if Poll
+Doolin was in it; but, d--n her, she's dangerous, even at a distance,
+if all that's said of her be true. I say, Spavin"--this was a nickname
+given to the Foreman, in consequence of a slight halt or lameness
+for which he was remarkable--"are we not to find bills for something,
+against Harman, who is about to be married to that wench."
+
+"What," said Hartley, laughing, "is it on that account? I think if you
+said so Deaker, you'd not be very far from the truth."
+
+"He murdered one of my fellows," said M'Clutchy, "one of the staunchest
+Protestants and loyalest men that ever was in the country; and, what is
+more, he did it in cold blood."
+
+"You were not present," said Hartley, "and consequently have no right to
+attempt to prejudice the minds of the jury against him."
+
+"We shall find the bills for all that," said Spavin, "the interference
+of such fellows in the execution of the laws must be put a stop to."
+
+"You are right, Spavin," said Sir William; "if we can't hang him, let us
+send him across. He had no business to touch the hair of a blood-hound's
+head. Gad, Hartley, this is pretty justice, isn't it? why didn't the
+disloyal rascal stand and let himself be shot in obedience to the spirit
+of the constitution, rather than molest a blood-hound. I tell you, my
+good friends, that this method of managing things will bring about its
+own remedy yet."
+
+"Oh, Sir William, you and Hartley would run well in a chaise
+together--both always for the rebels."
+
+"Whom do you call the rebels?"
+
+"Why the Papists, to be sure."
+
+"No more rebels, Moore, than you are," replied Hartley--"I find a Papist
+as good as another man, if he's as well and as fairly treated."
+
+"Irwin," said a large gouty man, whose legs were wrapped in flannel, "of
+course you've heard of Sir William's method of dispensing justice. Will
+that too, sir, find its own remedy--eh? ha, ha, ha; d------e, it's the
+most novel thing going."
+
+"No--how is it, Anderson?"
+
+"Why, if two neighbors chance to fall out, or have a quarrel, and if it
+happens also that they come to take the law of one another, as they
+call it, what does the worthy baronet do, do you imagine? 'Well, my good
+fellow,' proceeds our justice, 'you want to take the law of this man?'
+
+"'Yes, your honor.'
+
+"'And you want to take the law of him,' addressing the other.
+
+"'I do, the rascal.'
+
+"'Very well, my good friends, if you wish to get law you have come to
+the wrong shop for it--we deal in nothing but justice here: so if you
+prefer justice to law, you shall have it.'
+
+"'Whichever your honor thinks is best for us.'
+
+"'Very well, then; are you able to fight this man?'
+
+"'Ha, ha, is it there you are, Sir William?' says the fellow,
+brightening, 'able is it! ay, and willing too.'
+
+"'And,' says the baronet, addressing the other again, 'are you a match
+for him, do you think?'
+
+"'Say no more, Sir William; only it was surely the Lord put the words
+into your mouth.'
+
+"'But,' proceeds Sir W., 'mark me, if you don't both abide by this
+battle--if either of you, no matter which is beaten, shall attempt to
+get law elsewhere, upon my honor and soul, I will prosecute you both.'
+The justice being well furnished with a sheaf of cudgels for the
+purpose, selects one for each, brings them quietly to the stable yard
+where he lets them fight it out, each having first solemnly promised to
+abide the result."
+
+"Is that true, baronet?"
+
+"Perfectly true," replied Sir William; "but I fear that like some of
+your wise and impartial proceedings here, it will soon work its own
+cure. The business has increased so damnably--this dispensation of
+justice I mean--on my hands, that my stable yard resembles a fives
+court rather than anything else I know. The method harmonizes with their
+habits so beautifully, that if there is an angry word between them it is
+only 'd--n you, are you for Sir W.?' 'Yes, you villain step out.' They
+accordingly come, and as they touch their hats, I ask, well, my good
+fellows, what do you want now? 'Not law Sir William, but justice--the
+cudgels, plase your honor.' In the beginning I was in the habit of
+making them relate the cause of quarrel first, and then fight it out
+afterwards, but experience soon taught me that all this was a mere waste
+of time. In general now, I pass all that by; the complainants have their
+comfortable fight, as they say, and go home perfectly satisfied."
+
+"Here, you secretary, what the devil are you at there? Why d-----e,
+it wasn't to toss half crowns with that rascal of a treasurer you came
+here, sir; let us get through the business, and then you may both toss
+off to the devil, where you'll go at last."
+
+"Why," said the secretary, "I placed the papers all arranged in proper
+order before you."
+
+"Yes, sir; I suppose you did; but who the devil can keep anything or
+anybody in order, in such a Babel as this? Beevor, I'll thank you to
+postpone the singing of your squib for the election; or take to the
+street when our business is over, and give it to the crowd."
+
+"You be d----d, Spavin," replied Beevor;
+
+"I'll finish it, if the devil was at the back door."
+
+"Darcy," said Deaker, addressing a thin, red-faced man beside him, "I
+saw a pretty bit of goods in Castle Cumber market on Thursday."
+
+"Why, Deaker," replied the other, "is it possible that with one foot
+and more than half your body in the grave, and your shadow in h--l, you
+sinner, you have not yet given up your profligacy."
+
+"Eat, drink, and be merry, Tom, for tomorrow we die; but about this
+pretty bit of goods--I tried to price her, but it wouldn't do; and when
+I pressed hard, what do you think of the little tit, but put herself
+under the protection of old Priest Roche, and told him I had insulted
+her."
+
+"Who is she, Deaker?" inquired a young fellow with a good deal of
+libertine interest.
+
+"Ah, Bob," replied Deaker, laughing; "there you are, one of the holy
+triad. Here, Baronet--did you ever hear what Mad Jolly-block, their
+father, the drinking parson of Mount Carnal, as some one christened his
+residence, said of his three sons?--and that chap there's one of them."
+
+"No; let us hear it."
+
+"'Dan,' said the father, speaking of the eldest, 'would eat the devil;
+Jack,' the second, 'would drink the devil; and Bob, this chap here,
+'would both eat and drink him, in the first, place, and outwit him
+afterwards.' That's Bob, the youngest--he there with a lip like a
+dropsical sausage. He has sent him here to pick up a little honesty, and
+much loyalty."
+
+"And a great deal of morality," replied Bob, laughing, "from Deaker the
+virtuous."
+
+"No, no," replied Deaker; "you need never leave your Reverend father's
+wing for that."
+
+"Deaker, do you fleece the poor as much as ever?" replied Bob.
+
+"Ah, you are another sweet Agent, as times go. Do you touch them at the
+renewals as usual?"
+
+"Egad, Bob, I was very good at that; but there's an unmatrimonial son of
+mine, Val the Vulture, there, and d--me, when I look back upon my life,
+and compare it with his, it's enough to make me repent of my humanity,
+to think of the opportunities I have neglected."
+
+"Gentlemen," observed Hartley, "it strikes me, no matter what the
+multiplicity of other virtues we possess, there is somehow nothing like
+a superabundance of shame among us; we appear to glory in our vices."
+
+"Why confound it, Hartley," replied Deaker, "where's the use of assuming
+what we do not and cannot feel? Would you have me preach honesty, who am
+as d----d a rogue as there is here? Indeed, with the exception of that
+whelp of mine, I believe the greatest--but that fellow's my master."
+
+"Nobody can quarrel with your candor, Deaker, because it's all at your
+own expense," said the treasurer.
+
+"Egad, and here it is at yours, Gilburne; with the exception always of
+myself and my son, you are the deepest rogue here--and I am very much
+afraid that your securities will be of my opinion when it is too late."
+He laughed heartily at this; and then, as usual, took to whistling his
+favorite tune of the Boyne Water.
+
+Our readers may perceive that there was among them an open, hardy scorn
+not only of all shame, but of the very forms of common decency and
+self-respect. The feelings, the habits, the practices, the distribution
+of jobs and of jobbings, the exercise of petty authority, party spirit,
+and personal resentment, all went the same way, and took the same bent;
+because, in point of fact, there was in this little assembly of
+village tyrants, no such thing as an opposition--for three or four--were
+nothing--no balance of feeling--no division of opinion--and consequently
+no check upon the double profligacy of practice and principle, which
+went forward under circumstances where there existed a complete sense of
+security, and an utter absence of all responsibility.
+
+"Gentlemen, we are losing a great deal of time unnecessarily," observed
+M'Clutchy, "let us first get through the business, and afterwards we
+will be more at leisure for this trifling. The bills for Harman are not
+yet found."
+
+"Not found," replied Spavin, "why how soft you are, Val."
+
+"Why they are not," reiterated Val.
+
+"And why are they not?"
+
+"Ask Counsellor Browbeater, the hard-faced barrister, that has the right
+of Black Trot in the Castle, and he will tell you."
+
+"We all know that very well, Val, no thanks to your squeamishness,"
+observed Deaker; "the truth is, he did not wish to let him out for a
+reason he has," he added, winking at the rest.
+
+"Let us hear the calendar," said Hartley, "and got through the business
+as quickly as we can, secretary."
+
+"Is that Browbeater," asked Sir William, "who was engaged in the spy
+system a little before I returned from England--a d----d scandalous
+transaction."
+
+"The spy system, Sir William, is a very useful one to government,"
+replied Val, "and they would be devilish fools if they did not encourage
+it."
+
+"That may be your opinion, Mr. M'Clutchy," said Sir William, "and your
+practice, for aught I know; but, permit me to say, that it is not the
+opinion of a gentleman, a man of honor, nor of any honest man, however
+humble."
+
+"I perfectly agree with you, Sir William," said Hartley, "and I despise
+the government which can stoop to such discreditable treachery, for it
+is nothing else. The government that could adopt such a tool as this
+Browbeater, would not scruple to violate the sanctity either of private
+life or public confidence, if it suited their interest--nay, I question
+whether they would not be guilty of a felony itself, and open the very
+letters in the post-office, which are placed there under the sacred seal
+of public faith. However, never mind; proceed with the calendar."
+
+"Here is the case of some of your wreckers, M'Clutchy, charged here with
+illegally, maliciously, and violently pulling down several houses in
+the village of Crockaniska--assaulting and maltreating the unoffending
+inhabitants."
+
+"Halt there a moment," said Val; "rebels, every man of the said
+inhabitants, which I can prove. My men, who are remarkable for their
+Protestantism and loyalty, went upon private information--"
+
+"More of the spy system," said Hartley, smiling.
+
+"Mr. Hartley, you may smile, but truth is truth," replied Val; "we had
+private information that they had arms and rebellious papers, and the
+latter we have got under the thatch of their cabins."
+
+"Private information!--still more of the spy system," repeated Hartley,
+smiling again.
+
+"But not the arms?" asked Sir William.
+
+"No, Sir William, not the arms; the rebels were too quick for us there."
+
+"Then, they expected you it seems," observed Hartley; "and, if so, when
+taking away the arms, I am anxious to know why they should have been
+such fools as to leave the papers behind them."
+
+"I am not here to account for their conduct, sir," replied Val, "but to
+state the facts as they occurred--they may, for instance, not have had
+time to bring them. It is not a month, for instance, since my fellows
+in Still hunting--and talking of that, Mr. Hartley, will you allow me
+to send you a couple of kegs of such stuff as is not to be had on every
+hill head; I offer it from pure good will, for I really regret that
+there should be any want of cordiality between our families."
+
+"Our families," asked Hartley, with a look of surprise and indignation,
+"our families, sir! what do you mean?"
+
+"Oh, damn it, Hartley, don't explode; I mean nothing offensive between
+us--then, dropping the families," said Val, fawningly, for he saw the
+other's nostril begin to dilate--
+
+"And, you cowardly hound, why should you drop the families," inquired
+Deaker, taking fire; "do you forget, sirra, who your father was?"
+
+"And do you forget, sirra," resumed Hartley, "who your mother is?"
+
+"Damn it," replied Val, still with fawning good-humor, "how am I
+accountable for their conduct before I had existence? I neither made
+them as they were, nor as they are."
+
+"Then have the modesty," said Hartley, "to forbear any allusion to them,
+especially in the way of comparison."
+
+"For one of them, Hartley, I reply," said Deaker, "that he is of a
+better family than yourself; and don't imagine, my worthy fellow, that
+however you may browbeat others, you will be permitted to bully or
+browbeat me. I say, sir, there is better blood in my veins than ever ran
+through yours."
+
+"I had no intention of bullying or browbeating any man here," replied
+Hartley, "much less one whose age and virtues must prevent him--"
+
+"Not from meeting you like a man," said Deaker; "old as I am, I can yet
+stand my ground, or if not, d--n me, I can tie a stake to my bottom, and
+you may take that as a proof that I won't run away."
+
+"Nobody suspects you for that," said the other. "Out of the long
+catalogue of human virtues, courage is the only one loft you, or indeed,
+you ever had--unless, indeed, it be the shameless and diabolical honesty
+of glorying in your own vices."
+
+"Why, Hartley!" replied Deaker, "you forget, that you had more vices,
+and,'hammers, too, in your family, and more brass, than ever I or mine
+could' boast of. If the memory of that successful old tinker, your
+grandfather, had not passed out of your mind, you would make no allusion
+to vices or screws, and take care, my good hot-brained young fellow,
+that you don't die in your family trade, and come to the pully yet."
+
+Hartley, who was hasty, but exceedingly good-natured, although certainly
+a noted duelist, now burst out into a hearty laugh, as did most of the
+rest.
+
+"Deaker," said he, "there is no use in being angry with you, nor in
+being ashamed that my fortune was created by industry and honesty,
+for both of which virtues I have reason heartily to thank my good old
+grandfather, the hardware man, as you have for thanking the sire of your
+father, the worthy tailor, who had the honor of being appointed one of
+Peg Nicholson's knights, ha, ha, ha!"
+
+The laughter now became general and excessive; but not one of them
+enjoyed, or seemed at least, to enjoy it with more good-humor than Val;
+who, indeed, was never known to exhibit any want of temper to his equals
+during his life.
+
+"Well," said he, "ha, ha, ha! now that that breeze has blown over--about
+the poteen, Hartley?"
+
+"Thanks, Val; but no poteen, if you please."
+
+"Then, gentlemen," said Val, "to resume business; I was alluding to the
+seizure of a Still about a month ago near Drum Dhu, where the parties
+just had time to secure the Still itself, but were forced to leave the
+head and worm behind them; now, that I give as a fair illustration of
+our getting the papers, and missing the arms. Besides," said he, in a
+wheedling and confidential tone, addressed to a clique of his friends,
+the jobbers, whom he joined at the lower end of the room, "you are all
+aware that my fellows are staunch Orangemen, every one of them, and
+the government itself feels, for I have reason to know it, that it is
+neither politic or prudent to check the spirit which is now abroad among
+them; so far from that, I can tell you it is expected that we should
+stimulate and increase it, until the times change. The bills against
+these men must, therefore, be thrown out."
+
+"I'll agree to that," said a leading man of his own party, "only on one
+condition. There are three of my own tenants, Papists to be sure, in for
+distilling poteen. Now, we must have them out, Val, for one good turn
+deserves another.
+
+"But why?" inquired Val and his friends.
+
+"Why, simply, because the poor fellows were distilling for myself," he
+replied; "all the apparatus were mine, and I can't think of allowing
+them to be transported for my own act."
+
+"Very well, then a bargain be it," said Val, "so out they go."
+
+Whilst every man was thus working, either for his friends or against his
+enemies, or not unfrequently both, Hartley, who, in point of fact, felt
+always anxious to do as much good as he could, addressed Sir William:
+
+"Have you no friends in difficulty, Sir William, or who require your
+advocacy now? I see the jobbers are hard at work. Some working heaven
+and earth to wreak the vengeance of law upon their enemies; others quite
+as anxious to turn aside justice from their friends."
+
+"Eh! what's that!" said Sir William, starting up; "come, Hartley, you
+are right; there are four of my tenants in for a fray--the M'Caffreys,
+and the poor devils stand no chance with such a jury as they will have.
+I hear them named below there--so let us join the jobbers as you say,
+and see if we cannot get the Bills thrown out."
+
+"Very well," said Val, as they approached him, "the M'Caffreys go to
+trial."
+
+"Sir William, excuse me," said Hartley; "will you allow me to interfere,
+in the first instance?"
+
+"My dear fellow, certainly, with great pleasure, and I shall aid you as
+far as I can."
+
+"Val," said Hartley, in that kind of familiar tone which he knew would
+go far with such a man as M'Clutchy, and which was in such accordance
+with his own natural good-humor--"Val, my good fellow, and the best man
+of business here, by the way, notwithstanding the poteen affair, I want
+you to stand my friend and also Sir William's here."
+
+"How is that, Hartley?"
+
+"There are four men in from the Mountain Bar, named M'Caffrey. Now we
+want to have the Bills against them ignored; and simply for a plain
+reason--at this season of the year any lengthy imprisonment would ruin
+them. It was a faction fight or something of that kind, and of course
+there is no feeling of a religious or party nature in it. Am I not
+right, Sir William?"
+
+"Perfectly; the thing took place during my absence in England for
+the last few months. Had I been at home, the matter would have been
+peaceably decided in my own stable-yard."
+
+"Yes," observed Val, "but it appears there was a man's life in danger."
+
+"Yes, but, sir, his life is now out of danger."
+
+"Well, but does not this," rejoined Val in his most serious mood, "look
+very like obstructing the course of justice?"
+
+"Why, you d----d scoundrel," said the Baronet, "what, in nineteen cases
+out of twenty, is done at every assizes where matters connected
+with religion or politics are concerned, that ought not to be called
+obstructing the course of justice?"
+
+"We shall return true Bills, Sir William and that is the only reply I
+have to make, except to thank you for your courtesy."
+
+"Mr. M'Clutchy," said Hartley, "I know your good sense and forbearance,
+both of which are so creditable to you. These poor fellows will be
+ruined, for both you and I know what kind of jury that is to try them."
+
+"An honest jury, Mr. Hartley," said Mr, M'Clutchy, who was now beginning
+to feel a little of his power--"an honest jury, Mr. Hartley."
+
+"I give you leave to say so, Val; but, in the meantime, I will accept
+one favor from you, if you grant me two."
+
+"How is that sir?" asked Val.
+
+"Send me that poteen you spoke of, and ignore the Bills against these
+M'Caffreys."
+
+"No, sir," replied Val, looking with his own peculiar beetle-browed
+smile at Sir William, "I shall not; for by G--, we will find true Bills
+against the four M'Caffreys. We might do something for humanity, Mr.
+Hartley; but we are not to be made fools of before our own faces."
+
+"I do not understand you," replied Hartley.
+
+"He is nothing but a scoundrel, as I said," returned Sir William--"that
+is all; a low-born scoundrel; and it is a disgrace to see such a
+fellow's name upon any Grand Jury list."
+
+"Hartley," replied Spavin, "we do not wish to refuse either Sir William
+or you in such a matter as this; but the fact is, M'Clutchy is right.
+This is at bottom a party matter--a political matter, and you know it
+is."
+
+"No, sir; on my own part and on Sir William's I disclaim any such
+knowledge."
+
+"You know, Hartley, you are canvassing the county."
+
+"Yes, but what has that to do with these; men or their affairs?"
+
+"What--why you know that if we ignore the Bills against them, they will
+be out and ready to vote for you at the forthcoming election."
+
+Hartley looked at him with surprise but said nothing.
+
+"Now," he proceeded, "I will tell you what we will do. If you and Sir
+William pledge your words, as men of honor, that you will not accept the
+votes of these men, the matter you wish shall be managed."
+
+Sir William started to his feet.
+
+"Great God," said he, "is it not monstrous that an oath of secrecy
+should bind us to conceal these inquiries?"
+
+"It is monstrous, Sir William," replied his friend; "I do believe there
+is not such, a scene of shameless and hardened corruption on earth, as a
+Grand Jury Room at the present day."
+
+This, however, they said rather aside to each other.
+
+"No, sir," replied Hartley to the last proposal, "neither I nor Sir
+William shall enter into any such shameful compromise. I felt perfectly
+satisfied of the slight chance of justice which these poor men had, and
+will have from a jury so composed as theirs I know will be; and that was
+the reason why I did not hesitate to try, if I could, with any effect,
+save them from what I now perceive is designed for them--a political
+punishment independent of crime."
+
+"Never mind," said Sir William, taking him aside, "never mind, Hartley;
+we will be able to defeat them yet. I shall send for the prosecuting
+parties; get them to withdraw proceedings, and immediately fight it out
+in my lawn or stable-yard."
+
+After a great deal of similar squabbling and negotiation, the gentleman
+at length got through the criminal calendar for the county, and with
+still more startling honesty and disinterestedness, entered upon the
+transactions of its fiscal business. Beaker, whenever he took no part
+in the discussions that accompanied the settlement of each question, sat
+reading a newspaper to the air of the Boyne Water, which he whistled
+from habit in a low manner that was scarcely audible, unless to some
+one who felt anxious to derive amusement, as several did, from the
+originality of the performance.
+
+"Gentlemen," said the secretary, "here is a list of the presentments.
+The first is--For two miles and a quarter of a new road, running
+from George Ganderwell's house at the Crooked Commons, out along
+Pat Donnellan's little farm of the Stripe, through which it runs
+longitudinally; then across Jemmy league's meadow, over the Muffin Burn,
+then through widow Doran's garden, bisecting Darby M'Lorrinan's three
+acre field, afterwards entering the Glebe, and passing close to the
+lodge of the Rev. Phineas Lucre's avenue."
+
+"Is there any opposition to this?" inquired the chairman.
+
+"Read the next," said M'Clutchy, "and then we shall be the better able
+to see."
+
+No. 2. "For four miles of road, commencing at the Ban Ard river, which
+it crosses, running through Frank Fagan's croft, along Rogues Town, over
+Tom Magill's Long-shot meadow, across the Sally Slums, up Davy Aiken's
+Misery-meerin, by Parra Rakkan's haggard, up the Dumb Hill, into Lucky
+Lavery's Patch, and from that right ahead to Constitution Cottage, the
+residence of Valentine M'Clutchy, Esq., within two hundred yards of
+which it joins the high road to Castle Cumber."
+
+"Now the question is," said Val, "can both these be passed during this
+term?"
+
+"Val," replied young Jollyblock, "if ever a man was afflicted with
+modesty and disinterestedness you are he; and well becomes me the
+parson, too, in his share of the job; but it's all right, gentlemen.
+Work away, I Say. The Parson-magistrate, and the Agent-grand-juror have
+set us an excellent example--ha---In.--ha! Deaker, drop whistling the
+Boyne Water there, and see what's going on here."
+
+"No," said Deaker, "there never was such air composed as the Boyne
+Water; and my only request is, that I may die whistling it. Damn it,
+Jollyblock, unless a man is a good Protestant he's bad for everything
+else."
+
+"But how the devil Deaker, can you call yourself a good Protestant, when
+you believe in nothing?"
+
+"Why," said Deaker, "I believe that a certain set of political opinions
+are necessary for our safety and welfare in this world; and, I
+believe, that these are to be found in the Church, and that it is good
+Protestantism to abide by them, yes, and by the Church too, so long as
+she teaches nothing but politics, as she does, and acts up to them."
+
+"And does your faith stop there?"
+
+"How could it go farther with the lives of such men as your father and
+Lucre staring me in the face? Precept, Dick, is of little value when
+example is against it. For instance, where's the use of men's preaching
+up piety and religion, when their own conduct is a libel upon their
+doctrine? Suppose, now, there are two roads--and 'tis said there are:
+No. 1, leading to an imaginary region, placed above; No. 2, to another
+imaginary region, placed below--very good; the parson says to jon and to
+me, do so and so, and take the No. 1 road; but, in the meantime, he does
+himself the very reverse of this so and so, and takes the No. 2 road.
+Now, which are we to respect most, his advice or his example?"
+
+"Let us go on," said Spavin, "perhaps there are others whose claims are
+as modest and disinterested; we shan't say anything about being as well
+founded. You secretary fellow, read away."
+
+"Before you go any farther," said a droll-looking person named M'Small,
+"you must pass me a bridge over Lumlay's Leap. Our party voted you about
+thirty miles of roads to repair thoroughly, and you know that although
+you only veneered them, we said nothing."
+
+"But," replied Val, "who ever heard of a bridge without water; and I
+know there's not a stream within three miles of you."
+
+"Never mind that," replied M'Small, "let me have the bridge first, and
+we'll see what can be done about the water afterwards. If God in his
+mercy would send a wet winter next season, who knows but we might
+present for a new river at the January assizes."
+
+"You must have it," said Deaker, "give M'Small the bridge, and, as he
+says, we'll see afterwards what can be done for a river for it."
+
+"M'Small," said Hartley, "what if you'd get a presentment for a couple
+of mountain water spouts; who knows but it might answer the purpose?"
+
+"I'm afraid," said M'Small, who, by the way, was a good deal of a
+humorist, "I fear, Hartley, that the jurisdiction of the grand panel
+would scarcely reach so high. In the meantime I shall think of it."
+
+The bridge, however, was not only passed, but built, and actually stands
+to this day, an undeniable monument of the frugality and honesty of
+grand jurors, and the affection which they were then capable of bearing
+to each other, when their interests happened to be at stake, which was
+just four times in the year.
+
+In the meantime, the tumultuous battle of jobs in all its noise,
+recrimination, and jangle of conflicting interests, and incredible
+selfishness commenced. There were strong mutual objections to pass the
+roads to Mr. Lucre and M'Clutehy, and a regular conflict between their
+respective partisans accordingly took place. M'Clutchy's party were
+absolutely shocked at the grossness and impiety of such a man as Mr.
+Lucre, a person of such great wealth, an absentee, a nonresident-rector,
+dipping his hand in the affairs of the county for the sake of a job.
+
+His party, for he had a strong one, dwelt upon his rights as a civil
+officer, a magistrate, and justice of quorum--upon his sterling
+principles as a loyal Protestant, who had rendered very important
+services to the Church and the government. It was such as he, they said,
+who supported the true dignity and respectability of Protestantism, and
+it would be a scandal to refuse him a road to his glebe. Deaker groaned
+several times during this eulogium, and repeated his favorite text--let
+us eat, drink, and be merry, for to-morrow we die; but whether
+its application was designed for Lucre or himself, was not very
+easy--perhaps we should rather say difficult to determine.
+
+"That is all very true," replied Val's party; "but in the meantime,
+it would be quite as creditable for him to pay some attention to the
+spiritual interests of his parish, and the condition of its tottering
+old church, as to be mulcting the county for a job."
+
+"What can you know about his church," inquired Spavin, "who have never
+been seen in it, except on last Easter Monday, when you were candidate
+for the church wardenship? M'Clutehy," he added, "we all know you are a
+Protestant of your father's color; it's the best Protestantism that puts
+most into your pocket."
+
+"And on what other principle is Lucre himself now proceeding, or has
+ever proceeded?" replied Val's friends--for Val himself had always a
+wholesome repugnance to personal discussion.
+
+In fact, one would have imagined, on hearing Val's party declaiming
+against the selfishness of Lucre, that they themselves entertained a
+most virtuous horror against jobs and corruptions of all kinds, and
+had within them an actual _bona fide_ regard for religion, in all
+its purity, spiritual beauty, and truth; whilst on the contrary, the
+Lucreites, who certainly had the worst cause, seemed to think that
+M'Clutchy, in preferring his own corruption to that of the parson, was
+guilty of a complete desertion of that sterling and mutually concessive
+Protestant feeling which they considered to constitute its highest
+principle, and absolutely to merge into the manifestation of something
+inimical to a Protestant government.
+
+At length it was suggested by him of the bridge, that in order to meet
+the wishes of two such excellent men, and such admirable representatives
+of pure Protestant virtue and spirit, it would be best to pass both
+presentments on the present occasion, and drop or postpone some of the
+minor ones until next term--a suggestion which was eagerly received by
+both parties, inasmuch as it satisfied the rapacity of each, without
+giving a victory to either. This, however, was far from terminating
+either the business or the debates that arose out of the minor
+conflicting interests of the jurors. A good deal of hanging fire there
+was also, but given and returned in a better spirit, between. Val's
+friends and Lucre's.
+
+"Why doesn't Lucre," said the former, "afford us a little more of his
+company in the parish?"
+
+"Ah," replied the Lucreites, "we suppose if he gave you more of his
+venison and claret, he would experience less of your opposition."
+
+"I really am afraid to go to church," said Val, who, now that the storm
+had passed, resumed his usual insinuating habit of light sarcasm: "I
+am afraid to go, lest the crazy old church, which really, between
+ourselves--I speak of course in a friendly way now--is in a most
+shameful and dangerous state, should fall upon me."
+
+"I did not think," said M'Small, "that you had such a strong sense of
+your own deserts left, Val!--I have some hopes of you yet."
+
+"Ah," said Val, "I fear that on your way to heaven, if you meet a
+difficulty, you will not be likely to find a grand jury to build a
+bridge for you across it."
+
+"I perfectly agree with you," replied M'Small, "the face of a grand
+juror will be a novel sight in that direction."
+
+"And in the other direction," observed Hartley, "no bridges will be
+wanted."
+
+"Why so?" said M'Small.
+
+"Because," he replied, "there will be such an absence of water as will
+render them unnecessary."
+
+"Ay," retorted another, "but as there will be plenty of grand jurors
+we may do then as we did now, build the bridge without the water, and
+trouble ourselves no further with the consequences."
+
+After much more conversation, partly on business, and partly on
+desultory topics, the quarrellings, and bickerings, and all the noisy
+enmities of that corrupt little world that is contained within--we
+should rather say, that was contained within the walls of a grand jury
+room, ceased; and, with the exception of one or two small matters of
+no consequence, everything was settled, but not so as to give general
+satisfaction; for there still remained a considerable number of
+grumblers, whose objects had been either completely lost in greater
+corruption, or set aside for the present.
+
+"Here's another matter," said Spavin, "which we had better settle at
+once. A man here named O'Drive--Darby O'Drive--is to be appointed to the
+under gaolership--he is strongly recommended by Mr. Lucre, as a man that
+has renounced Popery."
+
+"That's enough, Spavin," said Hartley, "that, I suppose, comprises all
+the virtues necessary for an under gaoler, at all events."
+
+"You know him, M'Clutchy," said one or two of them.
+
+"He'll make a good under gaoler," replied Val, "as there will be in
+Europe. Appoint him, gentlemen; you will get no such man."
+
+"And that is just," said Sir William aside to Hartley, "all that Val's
+recommendation is good for."
+
+And thus closed as much as we feel necessary to describe of that
+extraordinary scene--a grand jury room in the year 1804, or
+thereabouts.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXIII.--A Rent Day
+
+--Relative Position of Landlord and Tenant--Grades of Tenantry--Phil's
+Notion of Respect--Paddy Corrigan's Protestant Wig--Phil and Solomon in
+a Fit of Admiration--The Widow Tyrrell.
+
+
+One single week in the progress of time, after the exhibition last
+described, had wonderfully advanced the catastrophe of our simple and
+uncomplicated narrative. Harman, very much to the mortification of
+M'Clutchy, was acquitted, the evidence being not only in his favor, but
+actually of such a character, as to prove clearly that his trial was
+merely one of those dishonest stretches of political vengeance which
+characterized the times. On coming out, however, he found the affairs of
+the firm in a state of bankruptcy and ruin. The insidious paragraphs in
+the papers, masked with compassion, and "a hope that the affairs of
+this respectable firm--which was hitherto supposed to be a solvent
+one--would, still, be wound up in a way, they trusted, somewhat more
+satisfactory than was given out by their enemies." Nor was this the
+worst, so far as Harman himself was concerned. The impression of Mary
+M'Loughlin's perfidy had been now so thoroughly stamped into his heart,
+that he neither could, nor would listen to any attempt upon the part of
+their mutual friends at her vindication. This last stroke of anguish was
+owing, also, to Phil's diabolical ingenuity. Harman on reflecting day
+after day, and hour by hour, upon the occurrence, and comparing it with
+her conduct and confusion on previous occasions, felt, as we before
+said, strongly inclined to believe her guilty. He determined, however,
+not to rest here, but to sift the matter to the bottom. He accordingly
+heard from his cousin, and from several others, while in prison, such
+details of the particulars, and such an authentic list of the persons
+who were present, many of whom, owing to the ingenious malignity
+of Poll Doolin, were friendly and favorable to the family--that he
+privately sent for them, and on comparing the narratives one with the
+other, he found the harmony among them so strong, that he gave up all
+thoughts of her, save such as recurred involuntarily to his mind with
+indignation and anguish. In addition to his other mortifications, it
+happened that the second day after his release from imprisonment was
+what the agents call "Gale day;" that is, the day upon which they get
+into their chair of state, as it were, and in all the insolence of
+office receive their rents, and give a general audience to the tenantry.
+Phil, indeed, even more than the father, looked forward to these days
+with an exultation of soul and a consciousness of authority, that fully
+repaid him for all the insults, disasters, and tweakings of the nose,
+which he was forced to suffer during the whole year besides. In truth,
+nothing could equal, much less surpass, the Pistolian spirit by which
+this lion-hearted gentleman was then animated. His frown, swagger,
+bluster, and authoritative shakings of his head, the annihilating
+ferocity of his look, and the inflated pomp of manner with which he
+addressed them, and "damned his honor," were all inimitable in their
+way. The father was more cautious and within bounds, simply because he
+had more sense, and knew the world better; but, at the same time, it
+was easy to see by his manner, that in spite of all his efforts at
+impartiality and justice, he possessed the poison as well as the wisdom
+of the serpent, but not one atom of the harmlessness of the dove. At
+another table, a little to the right of M'Clutchy, sat M'Slime, ready to
+take his appropriate part in the proceedings of the day, and prepared,
+whilst engaged in the task of seeing that everything was done according
+to law, to throw in "a word in season, touching the interests of the
+gospel."
+
+At length eleven o'clock arrived, and found Val, Phil, our old friend
+Darby, who had not yet entered upon the duties of his office, together
+with one or two other understrappers, all ready for business. The two
+principal characters were surrounded by books, rentals, receipts, and
+every other document necessary and usual upon such occasions. The day
+was wet and cold, and by no means in the spirit of the season; but we
+know not why it happens, that there seems in general to be a fatality
+of disastrous weather peculiar to such days, leading one to imagine that
+the agent possessed such a necromantic foreknowledge of the weather,
+as enabled him to superinduce the severity of the elements upon his own
+cruelty. In a country so poor as Ireland, the scene presented by a rent
+day is one too impressive and melancholy ever to be forgotten by any
+heart touched with benevolence. There is little, if any, of that
+erect freedom of demeanor and natural exhibition of good will, which
+characterize conscious independence and a sense of protection on the
+part of the tenant; whilst on that of the agent or landlord there is
+a contemptuous hardness of manner, a vile indifference, and utter
+disregard of the feelings of those by whom he is surrounded, that might
+enable the shallowest observer to say at a glance, there is no sympathy
+between that man and these people.
+
+But that is not all. Give yourself time to observe them more closely,
+listen to that agent pouring his insolent invective upon the head of
+this poor man, whose only crime is his poverty, and whose spirit appears
+to be broken down with the struggles and sufferings of life; yet, who
+hears his honesty impugned, his efforts ridiculed, and his character
+blackened, without manifesting any other than a calm spirit that looks
+inwards to his own heart for the consciousness of these falsehoods. Look
+at this, we repeat, and you will surely feel yourself forced to
+say--not that there is no sympathy between these men, but there sits the
+oppressor and there stands the oppressed.
+
+But even this is not all. Bestow a still more searching glance upon
+the scene. Here is more than invective; more than the imputation of
+dishonesty and fraud; more than the cruel defamation of character in the
+presence of so many. Mark the words of that agent or landlord again. He
+is sealing the fate of this struggling man; he tells him he is to have
+no home--no house to shelter himself, his wife, and their children; that
+he must be dispossessed, ejected, turned out upon the world, without
+friends to support or aid him, or the means to sustain their physical
+existence. Hear all this, and mark the brow of that denounced man;
+observe how it knits and darkens; how firmly he compressess his
+lips, and with what a long, determined, gloomy gaze he surveys his
+denouncer--observe all this, we repeat; and need you feel surprised,
+at finding yourself compelled to go still farther, and say there sits a
+doomed man and there most assuredly stands his murderer.
+
+Let it not be supposed that we are capable of justifying murder, or the
+shedding of human blood; but we are palliating, and ever shall palliate
+that crime in the humble man, which originates in the oppression
+of the great man. Is the act which banishes happiness and
+contentment--introduces poverty, misery, destitution--which scatters
+out of the heart all the little amenities and sweet endearments of
+life--which wastes away the strength of the spirit, and paralyzes that
+of the hand--which dims the eye and gives paleness to the cheek, and by
+combining all these together makes home--yes, home, the trysting place
+of all the affections, a thing to be thought of only with dread--an
+asylum for the miseries of life;--is the act, we say, which inflicts
+upon a human being, or a human family, this scathing and multitudinous
+curse--no crime? In the sight of God and in the sight of man is it no
+crime? Yes! In the sight of God and man it is a deep, an awful, and a
+most heartless crime! To return, however, to our rent day. The whole
+morning was unseasonably cold and stormy, and as there was but little
+shelter about the place, we need scarcely say, that the poor creatures
+who were congregated before the door were compelled to bear the full
+force of its inclemency.
+
+Indeed, it may be observed with truth, that when people are met together
+under circumstances of a painful nature, they cannot relax or melt into
+that social ease which generally marks those who come together with no
+such restraint upon the heart or spirits. Here, too, as in every other
+department of life, all the various grades of poverty and dependence
+fall into their respective classes. In one place, for instance, might be
+seen together those more comfortable farmers who were able to meet their
+engagements, but who labored under the galling conviction, that, however
+hard and severely industry might put forth its exertions, there was no
+ultimate expectation of independence--no cheering reflection, that they
+resided under a landlord who would feel gratified and proud at their
+progressive prosperity. Alas! it is wonderful how much happiness a bad
+landlord destroys! These men stood with their backs to the wind and
+storm, lowly conversing upon the disastrous change which was coming,
+and had come, over the estate. Their brows were lowered, their dialogue
+languid and gloomy, and altogether their whole appearance was that of
+men who felt that they lived neither for themselves or their families,
+but for those who took no interest whatsoever in their happiness or
+welfare.
+
+In another place were grouped together men who were still worse off than
+the former--men, we mean, who were able to meet their engagements,
+but at the expense of all, or mostly all, that constitutes domestic
+comfort--who had bad beds, bad food, and indifferent clothes. These
+persons were far more humbled in their bearing than the former, took a
+less prominent situation in the crowd, and seemed to have deeper
+care, and much more personal feeling to repress or combat. It is an
+indisputable fact, that the very severe and vexatious tyranny exercised
+over them had absolutely driven the poor creatures into hypocrisy
+and falsehood--a general and almost uniform consequence of conduct
+so peculiarly oppressive. They were all, at best, God knows, but very
+poorly clothed; yet, if it so happened that one or two of them, somewhat
+more comfortable than the rest, happened to have got a new coat a little
+before gale day, he invariably declined to appear in it, knowing, as
+he did, that he should receive a torrent of abuse from the agent,
+in consequence of "getting fat, impudent, and well-dressed on his
+Lordship's property;" terms of abuse, which, together with the cause
+that produced them, are at this moment well known to thousands as
+expressions whose general occurrence on such, occasions has almost fixed
+them into proverb. Will our English neighbors believe this? That we know
+not, but we can assure them that they may.
+
+There were other groups farther down in the scale of distress, where
+embarrassment and struggle told a yet more painful tale; those who came
+with their rent, in full to be sure, but literally racked up from their
+own private destitution--who were obliged to sell the meal, or oats, or
+wheat, at a ruinous loss, in order to meet the inexorable demands of the
+merciless and tyrannical agent. Here were all the' external evidences
+of their condition legible by a single look at their persons; they also
+herded together, ill clad, ill fed, timid, broken down, heartless. All
+these, however, had their rents--had them full and complete in amount;
+now the reader may well say, this picture is, indeed, very painful, and
+I am glad it is closed at last. Closed! oh, no, kind reader, it is not
+closed, nor could it be closed by any writer acquainted either with
+the subject or the country. What are we to say of those who had not the
+rent, and who came there only to make that melancholy statement, and to
+pray for mercy? Here was raggedness, shivering--not merely with the
+cold assault of the elements--but from the dreaded apprehension of
+the terrible agent--downcast looks that spoke of keen and cutting
+misery--eyes that were dead and hopeless in expression--and
+occasionally, a hasty wringing of the hands, accompanied by an
+expression so dejected and lamentable, as makes us, when we cast our
+eye in imagination upon such men as Valentine M'Clutchy, cry out aloud,
+"where are the lightnings of the Almighty, and why are his
+thunderbolts asleep?" There was there the poor gray-haired old man--the
+grandfather--accompanied, perhaps, by his promising young grandsons,
+left fatherless and motherless to his care, and brought now in order
+that the agent might see with his eyes how soon he will have their aid
+to cultivate their little farm, and consequently, to make it pay better,
+he hopes. Then the widow, tremulous with the excess of many feelings,
+many cares, and many bitter and indignant apprehensions. If handsome
+herself, or if the mother of daughters old enough, and sufficiently
+attractive, for the purposes of debauchery, oh! what has she to contend
+with? Poor, helpless, friendless, coming to offer her humble apology for
+not being able to be prepared for the day. Alas! how may she, clutched
+as she is in the fangs of that man, or his scoundrel and profligate
+son--how may she fight out the noble battle of religion, and virtue, and
+poverty, against the united influences of oppression and lust, wealth
+and villany.
+
+The appearance of these different groups--when the inclemency of the
+day, their sinking hearts, and downcast pale countenances, were taken
+into consideration--was really a strong exponent of the greatest evil
+which characterizes and oppresses the country--the unsettled state
+of property, and of the relative position of landlord and tenant in
+Ireland.
+
+At length the hall-door was opened, and a hard-faced ruffian came
+out upon the steps, shouting the name of a man named O'Hare. The man
+immediately approached the steps, and after shaking the heavy rain
+out of his big coat, and having whisked his hat backwards and forwards
+several times, that he might not soil his honor's office, he was brought
+in, and having made his humble bow, stood to hear his honor's pleasure.
+His honor, however, who had divided the labor between himself and Phil,
+had also, by an arrangement which was understood between them, allotted
+that young gentleman, at his own request, a peculiar class marked out in
+the rental, in which class this man stood. "O'Hare," said Val, "how do
+you do?"
+
+"Upon my conscience, your honor, but poorly," replied O'Hare, "the last
+heavy fit of illness, joined to the bad times, sir--"
+
+"O'Hare," said Solomon, "suffer me humbly, and without assuming anything
+to myself, to point out to you the impropriety of swearing; I do it, my
+friend, in all humility; for I fear, that so long as you indulge in that
+most sinful practice, the times will seldom be other than bad with you,
+or, indeed, with any one that gives way to so Wicked a habit. Excuse me,
+O'Hare, I speak to you as a Christian, I humbly trust."
+
+"By G--, that's good, father," exclaimed Phil, "M'Slime preaching to
+such a fellow as this!"
+
+"I humbly thank you, sir," said O'Hare to Solomon, "for your kindness
+in--"
+
+"Thank the devil, sirra," said Phil; "What the devil does he or I care
+about your d----d thanks. Have you your rent?"
+
+The man, with trembling hands, placed some notes, and gold, and silver
+before him--the latter being rolled up in the former.
+
+"I'm short for the present," he added, "just thirty shilling, sir; but
+you can give me an acknowledgment for the sum I give you now: a regular
+receipt will do when I bring you the balance, which, God willin', will
+be in about a fortnight."
+
+"Ay, and this is your rent, Mr. O'Hare," exclaimed Phil, gathering up
+the money into a lump, and with all his force flinging it at the
+man's head; "this is your rent, Mister O'Hare," placing an emphasis of
+contempt on the word Mr.; "thirty shillings short, Mr. O'Hare, but I'll
+tell you what, Mr. O'Hare, by ---, if you don't have the full rent for
+me in two hours, Mr. O'Hare, I'll make short work, and you may sleep
+on the dunghill. I can in ten minutes get more rent than you pay, Mr.
+O'Hare, so now go to h--l, and get the money, or out you go."
+
+The poor man stooped down, and with considerable search and difficulty,
+succeeded in picking up his money.
+
+"In two hours, sir," said he, "I could never do it."
+
+"That's your own business," said Phil, "not mine--if you have it not for
+me in two hours, out you go; so now be off to hell out of this, and get
+it."
+
+Val, who had been poring over an account-book, now raised his head, as
+if disturbed by the noise for the first time--
+
+"What's the matter?" said he, "what is it, Phil?"
+
+"Why, d--n my honor," replied Phil, "but that scoundrel O'Hare, had the
+assurance to come to me thirty shillings short of his rent, and, what is
+more, only brought me a part of it in gold!"
+
+"God help me!" exclaimed poor O'Hare, "I know not what to do--sure I did
+the--best I could."
+
+He then went out to the hall, and was about to leave the house, when
+Val rising, called him into another room, where both remained for a few
+minutes, after which the man went away, thanking his honor, and praying
+God to bless him; and Val, having; seated himself at the desk, appeared
+to feel rather pleased at their little interview than otherwise.
+
+"Ah, my dear friend, M'Clutchy," said Solomon, "you are a treasure in
+your way--when you do a kind act it is always in secret, ever mindful of
+our spiritual obligations, my friend."
+
+"Why," said Val, "a man is not always to trumpet forth any little act
+of kindness he may choose to render to a poor simple fellow like O'Hare.
+You mustn't mind him, Phil--I have told him not to be in a hurry, but to
+take his time."
+
+"Very well," said Phil, who had just knowledge enough of his father's
+villany, to feel satisfied, that in whatever arrangement took place
+between them, O'Hare's interest was not consulted;* "very well; d--n my
+honor, I suppose it's all right, old cock."
+
+     * This scene is verbatim et literatim from life.
+
+Our readers, we presume, have already observed, that however tenderly
+our friend Solomon felt for the shearing habit of the poor, he was
+somehow rather reluctant in offering a word in season to any one else.
+What his motive could be for this we are really at a loss to know,
+unless it proceeded from a charitable consciousness, that as there was
+no earthly hope of improving them by admonition, it was only deepening
+their responsibility to give it--for Solomon was charitable in all
+things.
+
+"Call in Tom Maguire, from Edenmore," said Val. "Now," he proceeded,
+"this is a stiff-necked scoundrel, who refuses to vote for us; but it
+will go hard, or I shall work him to some purpose. Well, Maguire," he
+proceeded, after the man had entered, "I'm glad to see you--how do you
+do?"
+
+"I'm much obliged to you, sir," replied the other--"why just able to
+make both ends barely meet, and no more; but as the time goes, sure it's
+well to be able to do that same, thank goodness."
+
+"Tom," said Solomon, "I am pleased to hear you speak in such a spirit;
+that was piously expressed--very much so indeed."
+
+"Well, Tom," proceeded Val; "I suppose you are prepared?"
+
+"Why, sir," replied Tom, who, by the way, was a bit of a wag; "you know,
+or at least Mr. M'Slime does, that it's good to be always prepared. The
+rent in full is there, sir," he added, laying it down on the table; "and
+I'll thank you for the receipt."
+
+Val deliberately reckoned over the gold--for in no other coin would he
+receive it--and then drew a long breath, and appeared satisfied, but not
+altogether free from some touch of hesitation.
+
+"Ay," said he, "it is all right, Tom, certainly--yes, certainly, it
+is all right. Darby, fill Tom a bumper of whiskey--not that--I say the
+large glass, you scoundrel."
+
+"Throth, Captain, 'tisn't my heart 'ud hindher me to give him the
+largest in the house; but I have a conscientious scruple against doin'
+what I believe isn't right. My Bible tells me--. Well, well, sure I'm
+only obeying orders. Here, Tom," he added, handing him the large bumper.
+
+"Confound the fellow," said Val; "ever since he has become a convert to
+Mr. Lucre there's no getting a word out of him that hasn't religion in
+it."
+
+"Ah, Captain," replied Darby, "sure Mr. M'Slime there knows, that 'out
+of the abundance of the heart the mouth spaiketh.'"
+
+"I cannot answer for what you are latterly, Darby," replied
+Solomon--"thank you, Tom," to Maguire, who had held his glass in his
+hand for some time, and at length hurriedly drank their healths;--"but I
+know that the first spiritual nutrition you received, was at least
+from one who belonged to an Apostolical Church--a voluntary
+Presbytery--unpolluted by the mammon of unrighteousness, on which your
+Church of Ireland is established."
+
+"But you know," said Darby, "that we're ordhered to make for ourselves,
+friends of that same mammon of unrighteousness."
+
+"Upon my honor," said Phil, "I know that you're a hypocritical old
+scoundrel. Be off to h--l, sir, and hold your tongue."
+
+"Throth and I will, Captain Phil--I will then," and he was silent; but
+his face, as he glanced first at Tom Maguire, and then at Solomon and
+the rest, was a perfect jewel, beyond all price.
+
+"Tom," proceeded Val, "I hope you've thought over what I mentioned to
+you on our canvass the other day?"
+
+"I have, sir," said Tom, "and I'm still of the same opinion. I'll vote
+for Hartley and no other."
+
+"You don't imagine of what service Lord Cumber and I could be of to
+you."
+
+"I know of no service Lord Cumber ever was to any of his tenants,"
+replied Maguire; "except, indeed, to keep them ground to the earth, in
+supportin' his extravagance, and that he might spend their hard earnings
+in another country, not caring one damn whether they live or starve.
+It's for that raison, sir, I vote, and will vote against him."
+
+"Well, but," said Val, whose brow began to darken, "you have not
+considered what an enemy he can be to those like you, whose obstinacy
+draws down his resentment upon them. Have you ever considered that--
+eh?"
+
+"I don't see how he can readily be a worse enemy to me, or any tenant
+he has, than he is at present. I'll trouble you for my receipt, Mr.
+M'Clutchy, but I won't vote for him. I beg your pardon, sir," said he,
+on looking at the receipt which Val, as he spoke, had handed to him;
+"this isn't signed--your name's not to it."
+
+"Show," said Val; "upon my life it is not. You are right, Maguire; but
+the truth is, M'Slime, that while speaking on any subject that affects
+Lord Cumber's interests, I am scarcely conscious of doing anything else.
+Now, sir," he proceeded, addressing Maguire, with a brow like midnight;
+"there is your receipt--bring it home--show it to your family--and tell
+them it is the last of the kind you will ever receive on the property of
+Lord Cumber. I shall let you know, sir, that I am somewhat stronger than
+you are."
+
+"That's all to be proved yet, sir," said the sturdy farmer: "you know
+the proverb, sir--'man proposes, but God disposes.'"
+
+"What do you mean, sirra? What language is this to my father? Be off to
+h--l or Connaught, sir, or we'll make it worse for you--ha!--bow-wow."
+He did not utter the last interjection, but his face expressed it.
+
+"That's not the religious individual I took him to be," said Solomon;
+"there is much of the leaven of iniquity in him."
+
+"Religion be hanged, M'Slime!" said Phil, "what religion could you
+expect a Papist like him to have?"
+
+"M'Murt, call in old Paddy Corrigan."
+
+A venerable old man, who, though nearly a hundred years old, stood
+actually as erect as the Apollo Belvidere himself, now entered. He was,
+however, but poorly clad, and had nothing else remarkable about him,
+with the exception of a rich wig, which would puzzle any one to know how
+it had got upon his head. On entering, he took off his hat as usual, and
+paid his salutation.
+
+"What the devil do you mean, Corrigan?" said Phil, once more in a
+fluster; "what kind of respect is that in our presence?--what kind of
+respect is that, I say? Take off your wig, sir."
+
+"With great respect to you, sir," replied Corrigan, "I have been in as
+jinteel company as this, and it's the first time ever I was axed to take
+my wig off."
+
+"Phil," said Val, who really felt somewhat ashamed of this ignorant
+and tyrannical coxcomb, "Phil, my good boy, I think you are rather
+foolish--never mind him, Paddy, he is only jesting."
+
+"Are not you the man?" asked Solomon, "in whom our rector, Mr. Lucre,
+takes such a deep and Christian interest?"
+
+"I am, sir," returned Corrigan.
+
+"And pray, what interest does he take in you?" said Val.
+
+"Troth, sir," replied Paddy, "he is very kind and very good to me.
+Indeed, he's the generous gentleman, and the good Christian, that
+doesn't forget Paddy Corrigan."
+
+"But, Paddy, what does he do for you?" asked the agent.
+
+"Why, sir," replied Corrigan, "he gives: me a cast-off wig once a year,
+God bless him!--This is his I have on me. Throth, ever since I began
+to wear them I feel a strong-relish for beef and mutton, and such fine
+feedin'; but somehow, God forgive me, I! haven't the same leanin' to
+devotion that I used to have."
+
+"Paddy, my old boy," said Phil, "that alters the case altogether. I
+thought the wig was as Popish as yourself; but had I known that it was
+a staunch and constitutional concern, of sound High Church principle, I
+should have treated it with respect. I might have known, indeed, that
+it could not be a Popish one, Paddy, for I see it has the thorough
+Protestant curl."
+
+The father looked at Phil, to ascertain whether he was serious or not,
+but so unmeaning or equivocal was the expression of his countenance that
+he could make nothing out of it.
+
+"You are reasoning," said Solomon, "upon wrong, certainly not upon
+purely gospel principles, Phil. The wig at this moment has a great deal
+more of Popery in it than ever it had of Protestantism."
+
+"And, if I'm not much mistaken, more honesty, too," observed Val, who
+had not forgotten the opposition he received in the grand jury room by
+Lucre's friends; nor the fact that the same reverend gentleman had taken
+many fat slices of his mouth on several other occasions.
+
+"Well, then, confound the wig," said Phil, "and that's all I have to say
+about it."
+
+Paddy then paid his rent, and having received a receipt, was about to
+go, when Val thus addressed him:--"Paddy, I hope you will not hesitate
+to give up that farm of yours at Slatbeg; I told you before that if you
+do, I'll be a friend to you for life."
+
+"I'll sell it, sir," said Paddy; "but surely you wouldn't have me to
+give up my interest in such a farm as that."
+
+"I'll make it up to you in other ways," said Val; "and I'll mention you
+besides to Lord Cumber."
+
+"I'm thankful to you, sir," said Paddy; "but it's in heaven I'll be,
+most likely, before ever you see his face."
+
+"Then, you won't give it up, nor rely upon my generosity or Lord
+Cumber's? It's Lord Cumber you will be obliging, not me."
+
+"Wid every respect for you both, sir," replied Paddy, "I must think
+of my own flesh and blood, my childre, and grand-childre, and
+great-grand-childre, before I think of either you or him. The day, sir,
+you made me tipsy, and sent me on your own car for the lease, I would a
+given it--but then, they wouldn't let me at home, and so, on thinking-it
+over--"
+
+"Pooh, you're doting, man, you're doting," said Val. "go home, now--but
+I tell you, you will have cause to remember this before you die, old as
+you are--go home."
+
+"The truth is, Solomon, I was offered two hundred pounds for it by one
+of my 'hounds' which would be a good thing enough, and would afford you
+a slice into the bargain. The old fellow would have brought me the
+lease the day he speaks of, were it not for the family--and, talking of
+leases, you will not forget to draw up those two for the O'Flaherties,
+with a flaw in each. They are certainly with us up to the present time,
+but, then, we can never be sure of these Papists."
+
+"No, d--n my honor, if ever we can," re-echoed Phil; "they hate us
+because we keep them down. Put in two good thumping flaws, Solomon, and
+be hanged to you; so that we can pop them out if ever they refuse to
+vote for us."
+
+"Never you mind Solomon," said his father, "Solomon will put in a pair
+of flaws that will do him honor."
+
+"If I did not feel that in doing so, my dear M'Clutchy, I am rendering
+a service to religion, and fighting a just and righteous fight against
+Popery and idolatry, I would not deem myself as one permitted to do this
+thing--but the work is a helping forward of religion, and that is my
+justification."
+
+"Call Philip Duggan in."
+
+A poor looking man now entered with a staff in his hand, by the aid of
+which he walked, for he was lame.
+
+"Well, Duggan, your rent?"
+
+"I have scrambled it together, sir, from God knows how many quarthers."
+
+"Phil," said Solomon aside, "is it not painful to hear how habitually
+these dark creatures take the sacred name in vain."
+
+"By ---, it's perfectly shocking," said Phil, "but what else could you
+expect from them?"
+
+"Duggan," said Val, "what is this, here's a mistake--you are short three
+pound ten."
+
+"Beggin' your pardon, sir, it's all right," replied Duggan; "you see,
+your honor, here's my little account for the work I wrought for you for
+five weeks wid horse and cart, up until I put my knee out o' joint in
+the quarry--you remember, sir, when I brought it to you, you said to let
+it stand, that you would allow for it in the next gale."
+
+"I remember no such thing, my good fellow, or, if ever I said such a
+thing, it must have been a mistake; do you imagine, now--are you really
+so stupid and silly as to imagine that I could transmit this account of
+yours to Lord Cumber, in payment of his rent?"
+
+"But wasn't it by your own ordhers I did it, sir?"
+
+"No, sir; it couldn't be by my orders. Duggan, you're a great knave, I
+see. I once had a good opinion of you; but I now perceive my error. Here
+you trump up a dishonest bill against me, when you know perfectly well
+that most of the work you charge me with was duty work."
+
+"Beggin,' your pardon, sir, I paid you the duty-work besides, if you'll
+remember it."
+
+"I tell you, sirra, you are a most impudent and knavish scoundrel, to
+speak to me in this style, and in my own office, too! Go and get the
+balance of the rent, otherwise you shall repent it; and, mark me, sirra,
+no more of your dishonesty."
+
+"As God is to judge me--"
+
+"Ah, my friend--," began Solomon.
+
+"Be off to h--l, sir, out of this," thundered Phil. "Be off, I say, to
+h--l or Connaught; or if you don't, take my word for it, you'll find
+yourself in a worse mess. To address my father in such language! Be off,
+sir; ha!"--Bow-wow! said his face once more.
+
+"Ah," said Solomon, when the man had retired, "I see your patience and
+your difficulties--but there is no man free from the latter in this
+checkered vale of sorrow."
+
+"Call Roger Regan," said Val; "here's a fellow, now, who has an
+excellent farm at a low rent, yet he never is prepared with a penny.
+Well Regan."
+
+"Oh! devil resave the penny, sir;--you, must only prize (appraise) the
+craps; the ould game, sir--the ould game; however, it's a merry world as
+long as it lasts, and we must only take our own fun out of it."
+
+"What is the matter with your head, Regan?" asked Val.
+
+"Devil a much, sir; a couple o' cuts that you might lay your finger
+in. We an' the Haimigans had another set to on Thursday last, but be my
+sowl, we thrashed them into chaff--as we're well able to do. Will I have
+the pleasure of drinking your health, gintlemen? I think I see the right
+sort here."
+
+"Give him a glass of spirits," said Val; "I think, Regan, you have seen
+some one drinking to-day already."
+
+"Well, gintlemen, here's--if we're to have a short life, may it be a
+merry one!--and may we never ait worse mait than mutton. Mr.
+M'Slime, more power to you!--She's next door to me"--and he winked at
+Solomon--"an' barrin' the paleness, by the powers gettin' on famous;
+throth, sir," in reply to Val--"only share of two half-pints wid Paddy
+Colgan, in regard of that day that's in it--blowin' bullocks--and, I
+believe, another half-pint wid Para Bellow. Blood, sir, but that's a
+beautiful drop! Sowl it would take the tear off a widow's pig--or the
+widow herself. Faith, Mr. M'Clutchy, I could tell where the cow grazes
+that was milked for that! Awough! However, no matther, I'm rantin' Regan
+from sweet Anghadarra--Regan the Rake that never seen to-morrow. Whish!
+more power!"
+
+"That will do, Regan; you have not your rent."
+
+"Oh! d--n the penny, as usual.--Success!
+
+"Well, but what's to be done? I must come down."
+
+"Devil afoot you'll come down, please your honor; but you'll come up and
+prize the crap. It's worth five times the rent, at any rate--that's one
+comfort. Hurroo!"
+
+"Upon my honor, Regan, I'm tired of this I have done it several times
+through kindness to yourself and family, but I cannot, really, do it any
+more."
+
+"Very well, sir--no offence--what one won't, another will; I can raise
+three times the rent on it in four and twenty hours."
+
+"What an unfortunate man you are, to be sure. Well, Regan, I shall
+appraise your crops and take them, or a competent share of them in
+payment, on this occasion--but mark me, it shall be the last."
+
+"More power, I say.--Long life to you, sir. You know a hawk from a
+hand-saw, any how--and be my sowl, kind father, for you--whish! I'm
+rantin' Regan from sweet Anghadarra!"
+
+So saying, poor, idle, drinking, negligent, pugnacious Regan, by his own
+sheer neglect, put his property into the hands of the most relentless
+harpy that ever robbed and fleeced a tenantry. This mode of proceeding
+was, in fact, one of the many methods resorted to by rapacious agents,
+for filling their own pockets at the expense of the tenant, who, by
+this means, seldom received more than a fourth part of the value of his
+crops. The agent under the mask of obliging him, and saving his crops
+from the hammer, took them at a valuation when the markets were low;
+and in order that he might be able to do so, he always kept over the
+tenant's head what is called a hanging gale--which means that he was
+half a year's rent in arrear. The crops were then brought home to the
+agent's place, and frequently, to save appearances, to the haggard of
+some friend of his, where they were kept until the markets got up to the
+highest price. So that it was not an unusual thing for the iniquitous
+agent to double the rent, one-half of which he coolly put into his own
+pocket.--In pastoral lands the butter was appraised in the same manner,
+mostly with similar results to both parties. To return--when Regan had
+departed, Val asked Solomon what he thought of him. "Think of him," said
+Solomon, who could not forgive the allusion to Susanna, "I would fain
+think of him as becomes a Christian; but, somehow, I could not help
+feeling, whenever I looked at him, there was the outline of an execution
+in his face; however, I may be mistaken--indeed, I hope--I trust I
+am--the villain!"
+
+"M'Murt, call in Catharine Tyrrell."
+
+"Yes," said Phil, "call in Widow Tyrrell. Now, Solomon, only you have
+no relish for anything except what's sanctified and spiritual, you would
+say that here comes such a specimen of Irish beauty as you have seldom
+seen."
+
+"I never had any objection," said Solomon, who, in spite of all his
+gravity, betrayed an alertness on this occasion that was certainly not
+usual to him;--"I never had any objection to look upon any work from
+His hand, with pleasure. Indeed, on the contrary, I often felt that
+it raised my sense of--of what was beautiful, in such a way that my
+feelings became, as it were, full of a sweet fervor that was not to
+be despised; I will consequently not decline to look upon this comely
+widow--that is--in the serious light I mention."
+
+"How do you do, Mrs. Tyrrell? I hope you have not got much wet?" said
+Val, turning round very blandly.
+
+"Oh, Mrs. Tyrrell, I hope you're very well," followed Phil; "I fear you
+have got wet--have the goodness to take a chair, Mrs. Tyrrell--and a
+glass of wine, ma'am."
+
+Mrs. Tyrrell took a chair, but she declined the glass of wine.
+Mrs. Tyrrell had been the wife of a young husband, who died in his
+twenty-fourth year, just when they had been about a year and a half
+married. She was herself, on the day in question, about the same age as
+her husband when he died. She had been a widow just two years, and
+had one child, a son. She was indeed a beautiful woman--in fact a very
+beautiful woman, as one could almost see in her humble condition
+of life. Her tresses were a raven black, but her skin was white and
+polished as ivory. Her face was a fine specimen of the oval--her brows
+exquisitely pencilled--and her large black, but mellow eyes, flashed
+a look that went into your very heart. But, if there was anything that
+struck you as being more fascinating than another, it was the expression
+of innocence, and purity, and sweetness, that lay about her small
+mouth and beautifully rounded chin. Her form was symmetry itself, and a
+glimpse of the small, but beautiful foot and ankle, left no doubt upon
+the mind as to the general harmony of her whole figure. On this occasion
+there was a positive air about her which added to the interest she
+excited; for, we believe, it may be truly observed, that beauty never
+appears so impressively or tenderly fascinating, as when it is slightly
+overshadowed with care. We need scarcely say, that there was a great
+deal of contrast in the gaze she received from Phil and our friend
+Solomon. That of Phil was the gross, impudent stare of a libertine and
+fool--a stare, which, in the eye of a virtuous woman, soon receives its
+own withering rebuke of scorn and indignation. That of Solomon, on the
+other hand, was a look in which there lurked a vast deal of cunning,
+regulated and sharpened by experience, and disguised by hypocrisy into
+something that absolutely resembled the open, ardent admiration of a
+child, or of some innocent man that had hardly ever been in the world.
+There was, however, a villainous dropping of the corners of the mouth,
+with an almost irrepressible tendency to lick the lips, accompanied with
+an exudation of internal moisture from the glands--vulgarly termed a
+watering of the teeth--which, to a close observer, would have betrayed
+him at once, and which were evident from the involuntary workings of his
+whole face.
+
+"Mrs. Tyrrell," said Val, "I am glad to hear that you are making
+considerable improvements on your farm."
+
+"Improvements, sir," replied the widow in amazement; "I don't know who
+could have told you that, sir. Didn't my potato crop fail altogether
+with me, and my flax, where I had it spread on the holme below, was all
+swept away by the flood."
+
+"I am sorry to hear that, Mrs. Tyrrell;--we are very hard up for money
+here, and the landlord doesn't know on what hand to turn; I must raise
+a large sum for him forthwith:--indeed to tell you the truth, I have
+received instructions that are not at all pleasant to myself--I am to
+let no one pass, he says, and if I cannot get the rent otherwise, I am
+to enforce it. Now this is very unpleasant, Mrs. Tyrrell, inasmuch as it
+compels me to take steps that I shall feel very painful.
+
+"God help me, then," replied the poor young woman, "for, as to rent,
+sir, I have it not; and, indeed, Mr. M'Clutchy, what brought me here
+to-day, was to ask a little time, just till I get my butter made up and
+sold.
+
+"Yes, but what can I do, Mrs. Tyrrell? I have no power to let any one
+off, even where I feel inclined, as I do in your case. It really is
+not in my power; Lord Cumber took care to leave me no discretion in the
+business at all."
+
+"But surely, sir, you don't mean to say, that unless I pay the rent, you
+will seize upon my property.'
+
+"This," said Val, as if to himself, "is really very distressing--
+unfortunately, Mrs. Tyrrell, I must indeed, unless you can raise the
+money in some way; wouldn't your friends, for instance, stand by you,
+until your butter is made up?"
+
+"I have no such friends," replied the poor woman, "them that would,
+arn't able; and them that are able, won't; and, that's only the way of
+the world, sir."
+
+"It's too true, indeed, Mrs. Tyrrell; I am very sorry, exceedingly
+sorry, for what must be done. It is such circumstances as these that
+make me wish I never had become an agent."
+
+"For God's sake, sir, have patience with me for about a month or six
+weeks, and I will be able to pay it all easily."
+
+"If I was my own master," returned Val, "it would give me pleasure to do
+so, but I am not."
+
+Here there was a groan from Solomon of compassion for the poor widow,
+followed by a second, which was clearly a comment upon the first. What
+a pity, said the first, to see so interesting a young widow without the
+means of paying her rent--and is it not a wicked and hard-hearted world,
+said the second that has not in it one individual to befriend her! Mrs.
+Tyrrell looked round on hearing an expression of sympathy, and there was
+Solomon gazing on her with a look, in which admiration and sympathy were
+so well feigned, that she felt grateful to Solomon in her heart. As for
+Phil, whether he gazed at her, his father, or at the attorney, such
+was the comprehensive latitudinarianism of his squint, that she felt it
+impossible to tell; neither, indeed, did she care. She was now in tears,
+and Val having declared his determination to proceed, was silent, as if
+out of respect to her feelings. At length she rose up, and when on the
+eve of going out, she asked for the last time:--
+
+"Mr. M'Clutchy is there no hope? I trust, sir, that when you consider
+how long my family and my husband have been living on this property,
+you'll think better of it than to bring myself and my poor orphan boy to
+beggary and ruin. What will become of him and myself!"
+
+"D--n my honor, Mrs. Tyrrell, but I feel for you," said Phil, eagerly,
+as if rushing head foremost into a fit of the purest humanity.
+
+"Do not be cast down, Mrs. Tyrrell," said Solomon, "there is one who can
+befriend the widow, and who will be a father to the fatherless. Rely
+on Him!--who knows but an instrument may be raised up for your relief.
+Don't be thus cast down."
+
+"No," said Phil, "do not, or you will only spoil them devlish fine eyes
+of yours, Mrs. Tyrrell, by crying. Come, come, father, you must
+give her,the time she asks; upon my honor, I'll guarantee she, won't
+disappoint.
+
+"And, if he is not sufficient, I will join him," said Solomon; "you
+may rest upon her word, my friend, for I am satisfied that no serious
+falsehood's in the habit of proceeding from a mouth so sweet and
+comely in expression, as Mrs. Tyrrell's. Come, Val, have a heart, and be
+compassionate towards the fair widow."
+
+"If you or Phil will pay the money," said M'Clutchy, "well and good; but
+you both know, that otherwise it is out of my power." There is a
+vast deal of acuteness of observation in Irish women, together with
+a quickness of perception, that sometimes resembles instinct. Mrs.
+Tyrrell's purity of feeling and good sense were offended at the
+compliments which the attorney and Phil mixed up with the sympathy they
+expressed for her. She felt something jar disagreeably upon her natural
+delicacy, by their selecting the moment of her distress for giving
+utterance to language, which, coming at any time from either of them
+to one in her station of life, was improper; but, under the present
+circumstances, an insult, and an impertinent trifling with her
+affliction.
+
+"Well," said she, without paying them the slightest attention, "I must
+say, Mr. M'Clutchy, that if you proceed as you threaten to do, your
+conduct towards me and my poor orphan will be such as I don't think you
+can justify either to God or man. I wish you good morning, sir; I have
+no more to say upon it."
+
+"Oh, Mrs. Tyrrell, if you begin to abuse us and lay down the law on the
+matter, I have no more to say either."
+
+She then went out, but had not left the hall, when Phil, following, said
+in a low, impudent, confidential tone--
+
+"Don't be in a hurry, Mrs. Tyrrell, just step into the parlor for a few
+minutes, and we'll see what can be done--step in."
+
+"No, sir," she replied, feeling very naturally offended at the
+familiarity of his manner, I will not step in; anything you have to, say
+you can say it here."
+
+"Yes--but, then, they may overhear us. D--n my honor, but you're a very
+pretty woman, Mrs. Tyrrell, and I'd be sorry to see harsh, proceedings
+taken against you--that is, if we could understand one another. The
+scarlet hue of indignation had already overspread her face and temples,
+her eyes flashed, and her voice became firm and full.
+
+"What do you mean, sir," she asked.
+
+"Why," said he, "couldn't there be an understanding between us? In fact,
+Mrs. Tyrrell, you would find me a friend to you."
+
+She made no reply but returned into the room.
+
+"Mr. M'Clutchy," said she, "I thought that a woman--especially a poor,
+unprotected widow like me--might, at least, come into your house about
+her necessary business without being insulted; I thought that if there
+was one house above another where I ought to expect protection, it is
+yours. It's your duty, I think, to protect them that's livin' upon
+this property, and strugglin' to pay you, or him that employs you, the
+hard-earned rent that keeps them in poverty and hardship. I think, sir,
+it ought to be your duty, as I said, to protect me, and such as me,
+rather than leave us exposed to the abominable proposals of your son."
+
+"How is this?" said Val; "where are you, Phil?"
+
+Phil entered with a grin on him, that betrayed very clearly the morals
+of the father, as well as of himself. There was not the slightest
+appearance of shame or confusion about him; on the contrary, he looked
+upon the matter as a good joke, but, by no means, so good as if it had
+been successful.
+
+"Phil," said his father, barely restraining a smile, "is it possible
+that you could dare to insult Mrs. Tyrrell under this roof?"
+
+"D--n my honor, a confounded lie," replied Phil; "she wanted me to lend
+her the money, and because I did not, she told you I made proposals to
+her. All revenge and a lie."
+
+Mrs. Tyrrell looked at him--"Well," said she, "if there is a just God
+in heaven, you will be made an example of yet. Oh! little they know that
+own this property, and every other property like it--of the insults,
+and hardships, and oppressions, that their tenantry must suffer in
+their absence from them that's placed over them; and without any one to
+protect them or appeal to for satisfaction or relief--sir, that villain
+in the shape of your son--that cowardly villain knows that the words he
+insulted me in are not yet cowld upon his lips."
+
+"I have reason to put every confidence in what my son says," replied
+Val very coolly, "and he is not a villain, Mrs. Tyrrell--so I wish you a
+good morning, ma'am!"
+
+This virtuous poor woman flushed with a sense of outraged modesty, with
+scorn and indignation, left the room; and with a distracted mind and
+a breaking heart, sought her orphan, whose innocent face of wonder she
+bedewed on her return home with tears of the bitterest sorrow.
+
+It is not our intention to describe at full length the several
+melancholy scenes which occurred between poverty and dependence on one
+side and cold, cruel, insolent authority, on the other. It is needless
+and would be painful to tell how much age and helplessness suffered at
+the hands of these two persons; especially at those of Phil, whose chief
+delight appeared to consist in an authoritative display of pomp and
+natural cruelty.
+
+The widow had not been more than a minute gone, when the door opened,
+and in walked, without note or preparation, a stout swarthy looking
+fellow named M'Clean. "Well, Tom," said Val, "is this you?"
+
+"Brother M'Clean," said Solomon, "how are you?"
+
+"What would ail me?" said M'Clean, "there's nothing wrong with me but
+what money could cure--if I had it."
+
+"And you have no money, Tom!" said Val, smiling, "that, Tom, is a bad
+business--for we never wanted it more than we do at present. Seriously,
+have you the rent?"
+
+"D--n the penny, brother M'Clutchy; and what's more, won't have it for
+at least three months."
+
+"That's bad again, Tom. Any news?--any report?"
+
+"Why, ay--there was a gun, or a pistol, or a pike, or something that
+way, seen with the Gallaghers of Kilscaddan."
+
+"Ha--are you sure of that?"
+
+"Not myself sure; but I heard it on good authority; but I think we had
+better make sure, by paying them a visit some night soon."
+
+"We will talk about that," said Val; "but I am told that you treated
+priest Roche badly the other night. Is that true?"
+
+"Why, what did you hear?" asked M'Clean.
+
+"I heard you fired into his house; that you know was dangerous."
+
+"All right," said Phil; "what right have. Popish priests to live under
+a Protestant government? By my sacred honor, I'd banish them like wild
+cats."
+
+"No," said M'Clean, in reply to Val, "we did not; all we did was to play
+'Croppies lie Down,' as we passed the house, and fire three volleys over
+it--not into it; but if there was e'er a one among us with a bad aim you
+know, that wasn't his fault or ours; ha--ha--by Japers," said he in a
+low, confidential whisper, "we frightened the seven senses out of him,
+at any rate--the bloody Papist rascal--for sure they are all that, and
+be d----d to them."
+
+"Capital doctrine--and so they are, Tom; light, Tom; so you frightened
+the bog Latin out of him! ha! ha! ha!"
+
+"Ha--ha--ha--by my sowl we did, and more maybe, if it was known; I must
+be off now."
+
+"Go and help yourself to a bumper of spirits before you go," said Val;
+"and, Tom, keep a sharp lookout, and whenever you find, or hear of arms,
+let me know immediately."
+
+Tom only nodded to that, as he put the glass to his lips; "gentlemen,"
+said he, "your healths; here's no Popery! no surrender!" saying which,
+he deposited the empty glass on the table, giving the same time two
+or three short coughs occasioned by the strength of the liquor. "Good
+morning, gentlemen--brother, M'Slime"--he voiced and nodded significantly
+at Solomon, then added--"good people are scarce; so be a good boy and
+take care of yourself."
+
+"Now, Tom, be a good fellow and don't forget the rent," said Val; Tom
+nodded again, for it was a habit he had, and departed.
+
+The next person who presented himself was a little, meagre, thin looking
+man, with a dry, serious air about him, that seemed to mark him as a
+kind of curiosity in his way. From the moment he entered, Solomon seemed
+to shrink up into half his ordinary dimensions, nor did the stranger
+seem unconscious of this, if one could judge by the pungent expression
+of his small gray eyes which were fastened on Solomon with a bitter
+significance that indicated such a community of knowledge as did not
+seem to be pleasant to either of them.
+
+"Ah, Sam Wallace," said Val, "always punctual, and never more welcome
+than now; scraping and scrambling we are, Sam, to make up the demand for
+the landlord."
+
+"What way ir ye, Mr. M'Clutchy; am gled to see ye luck so well; I a-am
+indeed."
+
+"Thank you, Sam. How are all your family."
+
+"Deed, as well as can be expected under the stain that's over us."
+
+"Stain! What do you mean, Sam?"
+
+"Feth, a main what's purty well known; that misfortune that befell our
+daughter Susanna."
+
+"Dear me, Sam, how was that?"
+
+"The way of it was this--she went as a children's maid into a religious
+femily"--here the two glittering eyes were fiercely fastened upon
+Solomon--"where she became a serious young person of decided piety, as
+they call it--an' h--l till me, but another month will make it decided
+enough---well, sir, deel a long she was there till the saint, her
+masther, made a sinner of her, and now she's likely to have her gifts,
+such as they ir.
+
+"I am very sorry to hear this, Sam; but, surely the man who seduced your
+daughter does not deserve to be called religious."
+
+"Disn't he, feth? why, Lord bless you, sure it was all done in a
+religious way--they sang psalms together, prayed together, read the
+Bible together, and now the truth is, that the consequence will be
+speaking for itself some of these days."
+
+Here another fiery look was darted at Solomon, who appeared deeply
+engaged among leases, papers, and such other documents as were before
+him.
+
+"It's a bad business certainly, Sam--but now about the rent?"
+
+"Hut! de'il a penny o' rent I have--hell take the tester; and yet,
+for all that, all pay you afore a laive the room--what do you think of
+that?"
+
+"I don't understand it, Sam."
+
+"Now," said Sam, going over to Solomon, "you'll pay Mr. M'Clutchy the
+sum of twelve pounds, fourteen, and three pence for me, Mr. M'Slime--if
+you please, sir."
+
+There was a peremptory tone in his words, which, joined to the
+glittering look he riveted on Solomon, actually fascinated that worthy
+gentleman.
+
+"My friend," replied Solomon, taking out his pocket-book, and seeming to
+look for a memorandum, "you have made a slight mistake against yourself;
+the sum, I find, is twelve pounds, seventeen, and three pence, so that
+you have made a slight mistake of three shillings, as I said, against
+yourself."
+
+"Do you pay the half year's rent, which is the sum, I say, and you may
+give the three shillings in charity, which I know you will do."
+
+"Shall I fill the receipt," asked Val, looking to Solomon.
+
+"Fill it," said the other, "I am very glad I happened to have so much
+about me, poor man."
+
+"So am I," returned Sam, significantly.
+
+Solomon rose, and with all the calmness of manner which he could assume,
+laid the money down before M'Clutchy.
+
+"Try," said he, "if that is right."
+
+"Show here," said Sam, "ail reckon em;" and having done so, he put one
+particular note in his pocket--"Never you mind," he added, addressing
+himself to Val, "I'll give you another note for this;" and he winked
+significantly as he spoke. He accordingly did so, and having paid the
+money and received his receipt, he bid them goodbye, once more winking,
+and touching his waistcoat pocket as he went. He had not been long gone,
+however, when Solomon once more examined his pocket-book, and in a tone
+which no pen could describe, exclaimed, "verily, the ways of Providence
+are wonderful! Will you look again at that money?" said he--"I have
+given away a note for ten pounds instead of a note for one."
+
+"It is not here, then," replied Val, "but I'll venture to say that Sam,
+the knave, put it in his pocket when he made the exchange."
+
+"Shall I call him back?" said Phil, "there he goes towards the gate."
+
+"No," replied the other, "I have great reliance on Sam's honesty. He
+will return it no doubt on perceiving the mistake, or if not, I shall
+send to him for it. Yes, I know Sam is honest--truly the ways of
+Providence are wonderful."
+
+So saying, with a visage peculiarly rueful and mortified, he closed his
+book and put it in his pocket.
+
+The last person whom we shall notice was Brian M'Loughlin, on whose
+features care had recently made a deep impression. On being asked to
+sit, he declined--"I thank you," said he, "my visit will be but a short
+one, and what I have to say, I can say standing."
+
+"That as you please, Mr. M'Loughlin; shall I fill your receipts?"
+
+"No," replied the other, "I simply came to state, that, owing to the
+derangement of our affairs, I am not just now in a condition to pay my
+rent."
+
+"That is unpleasant, Mr. M'Loughlin."
+
+"Of course it is," he replied; "that was my only business, Mr.
+M'Clutchy, and now I bid you good-day."
+
+"Not so fast, if you please, Mr. M'Loughlin; do not be in such a hurry.
+You remember a meeting you and I had once in Castle Cumber fair?"
+
+"I do."
+
+"You remember the extraordinary civility with which you treated me?"
+
+"I do, Val, and I only expressed what I thought then and think now; but
+indeed you have improved the wrong way wonderfully since."
+
+"Your language was indiscreet then, and it is so now."
+
+"It was true for all that, Mr. M'Clutchy."
+
+"Now, might not I, if I wished, take ample revenge for the insulting
+terms you applied to me?"
+
+"You might, and I suppose you will--I expect nothing else, for I know
+you well."
+
+"You do not know me. Mr. M'Loughlin, so far from acting up to what
+you imagine, I shall not avail myself of your position; I have no
+such intention, I assure you, so that whatever apprehensions you
+may entertain from others, you need have none from me. And, now,
+Mr. M'Loughlin, do you not perceive that you judged me unjustly and
+uncharitably?"
+
+"That's to be seen yet, Mr. M'Clutchy, time will tell."
+
+"Well, then, make your mind easy; I shall take no proceedings in
+consequence of your situation--so far from that, I shall wait patiently
+till it is your convenience to pay the rent--so now, I wish you good
+day, Mr. M'Loughlin."
+
+"That is a beautiful exhibition of Christian spirit," exclaimed Solomon,
+"good works are truly the fruit of faith."
+
+"Before you go," said Phil, with a sneer, "will you allow me to ask how
+poor Mary is."
+
+M'Loughlin paused, and calmly looked first at Phil, and then at his
+father.
+
+"Phil," said the latter, "I shall order you out of the room, sir, if I
+hear another word on that unfortunate subject. I am very sorry, I assure
+you, Mr. M'Loughlin, for that untoward transaction--to be sure, I wish
+your daughter had been a little more prudent, but young ladies cannot,
+or at least, do not always regulate their passions or attachments; and
+so, when they make a false step, they must suffer for it. As for myself,
+I can only express my sincere regret that the _faux pas_ happened, and
+that it should have got wind in such a way as to deprive the poor girl
+of her character."
+
+After contemplating the father and son for some time alternately, with
+a look in which was visible the most withering contempt and scorn, and
+which made them both quail before him, he replied:
+
+"Your falsehood, scoundrels, is as vindictive as it is cowardly, and you
+both know it; but I am an honest man, and I feel to stoop to a defence
+of my virtuous child against either of you, would be a degradation to
+her as well as to myself. I therefore go, leaving you my contempt and
+scorn, I could almost say my pity."
+
+He then walked out, neither father nor son having thought it prudent to
+brave the expression of his eye by replying to his words.
+
+"Now," said Val, addressing Solomon, "let there be an execution issued
+without a moment's delay--the man is doomed, his hour has come; and
+so, may I never prosper, if I don't scatter him and his, houseless and
+homeless, to the four corners of heaven! I have meshed him at last, and
+now for vengeance."
+
+"But," said Solomon, in a tone of slight remonstrance, "I trust, my dear
+M'Clutchy, that,in taking vengeance upon this man and his family, you
+will do so in a proper spirit, and guard against the imputations of an
+uncharitable world. When you take vengeance, let your motives be always
+pure and upright and even charitable--of course you expect and hope
+that you ruin this man and his; family for their own spiritual good. The
+affliction that you are about! to bring on them, will soften and subdue
+their hard and obstinate hearts, and lead them it is to be hoped, to a
+better and more Christian state of feeling. May He grant it!"
+
+"Of course," replied Val, humoring him in his hypocrisy, "of course it
+is from these motives I act; certainly it is."
+
+"In that case," said Solomon, "I am bound to acknowledge that I never
+have heard a man vow vengeance, or express a determination to ruin his
+fellow creature, upon more delightfully Christian principles. It is a
+great privilege, indeed, to be able to ruin a whole family in such a
+blessed spirit, I have no doubt you feel it so."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTEK XXIV.--Raymond's Sense of Justice
+
+--Voice of the Ideal--Poll Doolin's Remorse--Conversation on Irish
+Property--Disclosure concerning Mary M'Laughlin
+
+
+About dusk, on the evening of that day, Poll Doolin having put on her
+black bonnet, prepared to go out upon some matter of a private nature,
+as was clearly evident by her manner, and the cautious nature of all her
+movements. Raymond, who eyed her closely, at length said--
+
+"Take care now--don't harm them."
+
+"Them!" replied Poll, "who do you mean by them?"
+
+"The M'Loughlins--go and look at Mary, and then ask yourself why you
+join the divil:--there now, that's one. Who saved me? do you know that,
+or do you care? Very well, go now and join the divil, if you like, but I
+know what I'll do some fine night. Here he leaped in a state of perfect
+exultation from the ground.
+
+"Why, what will you do?" said Poll.
+
+"You'll not tell to-morrow," replied Raymond, "neither will any one
+else; but I don't forget poor white-head, nor Mary M'Loughlin."
+
+"Well, keep the house like a good boy," she said, "till I come back;
+and, if anybody should come in, or ask where I am, say that I went up to
+Jerry Hannigan's for soap and candles."
+
+"Ay, but that's not true, because I know you're goin' to join the divil;
+but, no matter--go there--you'll have his blessin' any how, and it's
+long since he gave it to you--with his left hand. I wish I wasn't your
+son--but no matther, no matther."
+
+She then peeped out to see that the coast was clear, and finding that
+all was safe, she turned her steps hurriedly and stealthily, in a
+direction leading from, instead of to Castle Cumber. When she was gone,
+Raymond immediately closed and bolted the door, and began as before, to
+spring up in the air in a most singular and unaccountable manner.
+The glee, however, which became apparent on his countenance, had an
+expression of ferocity that was frightful; his eyes gleamed with fire,
+his nostrils expanded, and a glare of terrible triumph lit up every
+feature with something of a lurid light.
+
+"Ha, ha!" he exclaimed, addressing, as some imaginary individual, an old
+pillow which he caught up; "I have you at last--now, now, now; ha, you
+have a throat, have you? I feel it now, now, now! Ay, that will do; hoo,
+hoo--out with it, out with it; I see the tip of it only, but you must
+give better measure ay, that's like it. Hee, hee, hee! Oh, there--that
+same tongue never did you good, nor anybody else good--and what blessed
+eyes you have! they are comin' out, too, by degrees, as the lawyers
+goes to Heaven! Now! now! now! ay, where's your strugglin' gone to? It's
+little you'll make of it in Raymond's iron fingers--Halloo, this is for
+white-head, and white-head's--poor little white-head's---father, and
+for poor little white-head's mother, and this--ay, the froth's comin'
+now, now, now--and this last's for poor Mary M'Loughlin! Eh, ho, ho!
+There now--settled at last, with your sweet grin upon you, and your
+tongue out, as if you were makin' fun of me--for a beauty you were, and
+a beauty you are, and there I lave you!"
+
+While uttering these words, he went through with violent gesticulations,
+the whole course and form of physical action that he deemed necessary to
+the act of strangling worthy Phil, whose graceful eidolon was receiving
+at his hands this unpleasant specimen of the pressure from without. He
+had one knee on the ground, his huge arms moving with muscular energy,
+as he crushed and compressed the pillow, until the very veins of his
+forehead stood out nearly black with the force at once of hatred and
+exertion. Waving thus wrought his vengeance out to his own satisfaction,
+he once more, in imagination, transformed the pillow into his little
+white-head, as he loved to call him; and assumed a very different aspect
+from that which marked the strangulation scene just described.
+
+"Come here," said he--taking it up tenderly in his arms--"come
+here--don't be afeard now; there's nobody that can do you any harm. Ah!
+my poor white-head--don't! you want your mother to keep up your poor
+sick head, and to lay your poor pale face against her breast? And
+your father--you would like to get upon his knee and climb up to kiss
+him--wouldn't you, white-head? Yes, he says he would--white-head says he
+would--and tell me, sure I have the cock for you still; and if you want
+a drink I have-something better than bog wather for you--the sickening
+bog wather! Oh! the poor-pale face--and the poor sickly eye--up in the
+cowld mountains, and no one to think about you, or to give you comfort!
+Whisht now--be good--och, why do I say that, poor white-head--for sure
+you were always good! Well wait--bog wather--ah, no--but wait here--or
+come wid me--I won't lay you down, for I love you, my poor white-head;
+but come, and you must have it. My mother's gone out--and she's not
+good; but you must have it."
+
+He rose, still holding the pillow like a child in his arms, and going
+over to a cupboard, took from it a jug of milk, and so completely was
+he borne away by the force of his imagination that he actually poured a
+portion of the milk upon the pillow.
+
+The act seemed for the moment to dispel, the illusion--but only for
+a moment; the benevolent heart of the poor creature seemed, to take
+delight in these humane reminiscences; and, almost immediately, he was.
+proceeding with his simple, but touching little drama.
+
+"Well," said he, "that's better than cowld bog wather; how would the
+rich like to see their sick childre put on cowld wather and cowld
+pratees? But who cares for the rich, for the rich doesn't care about
+huz; but no matther, white-head--if you'll only just open your eyes
+and spake to me, I'll give you the cock." He gave a peculiar call, as
+he spoke, which was perfectly well known to the bird in question, which
+immediately flew from the roost, and went up to him; Raymond then gently
+laid the pillow down, and taking the cock up, put his head under one of
+his wings, and placed him on the pillow where he lay quietly and as if
+asleep. For many minutes he kept his eyes fixed upon the objects before
+him, until the image in his mind growing still stronger, and more
+distinct, became at last so painful that he, burst into tears.
+
+"No," said he, "he will never open his eyes again; he will never look
+upon any one more: and what will she do when she hasn't his white head
+before her?"
+
+Whilst poor Raymond thus indulged himself in the caprices of a
+benevolent imagination, his mother was hastening to the house of Mr.
+Hickman, the former agent of the Castle Cumber property, with the
+intention of rendering an act of justice to an individual and a family
+whom she had assisted deeply and cruelly to injure. Whilst she is on the
+way, however, we will take the liberty of introducing our readers to Mr.
+Hickman's dining-room, where a small party are assembled; consisting of
+the host himself, Mr. Easel, the artist, Mr. Harman, and the Rev. Mr.
+Clement; and as their conversation bears upon the topic of which we
+write, we trust it may not be considered intruding upon private society
+to detail a part of it.
+
+"Property in this country," said Hickman, "is surrounded by many
+difficulties--difficulties which unfortunately fall chiefly upon those
+who cultivate it. In the first place, there is the neglect of the
+landlord; in the next, the positive oppression of either himself or
+his agent; in the third, influence of strong party feeling--leaning too
+heavily on one class, and sparing or indulging the other; and perhaps,
+what is worse than all, and may be considered the _fons et origo
+malorum_, the absence of any principle possessing shape or form, or that
+can be recognized as a salutary duty on the part of the landlord.
+This is the great want and the great evil. There should be a distinct
+principle to guide, to stimulate, and when necessary to restrain
+him; such a principle as would prevent him from managing his property
+according to the influence of his passions, his prejudices, or his
+necessities."
+
+"That is very true," said Mr. Clement, "and there is another duty which
+a landlord owes to those who reside upon his property, but one which
+unfortunately is not recognized as such; I mean a moral duty. In
+my opinion a landlord should be an example of moral propriety and
+moderation to his tenantry, so as that the influence of his conduct
+might make a salutary impression upon their lives and principles.
+At present the landed Proprietary of Ireland find in the country no
+tribunal by which they are to be judged; a fact which gives them the
+full possession of unlimited authority; and we all know that the absence
+of responsibility is a great incentive to crime. No man in a free
+country should be invested with arbitrary power; and yet, it is
+undeniable that an Irish landlord can exercise it whenever he pleases."
+
+"Then what would you do," said Easel; "where is your remedy?"
+
+"Let there be protective laws enacted, which will secure the tenant from
+the oppression and injustice of the landlord. Let him not lie, as he
+does, at the mercy of his caprices, passions, or prejudices."
+
+"In other words," said Harman, "set the wolves to form protective
+enactments for the sheep. I fear, my good sir, that such a scheme
+is much too Utopian for any practically beneficial purpose. In the
+meantime, if it can be done, let it. No legislation, however, will
+be able, in my mind, to bind so powerful a class as the landlords of
+Ireland are, unless a strong and sturdy public opinion is created in the
+country."
+
+"But how is this to be done?" asked Easel.
+
+"It is to be done by educating the people; by teaching them their proper
+value in society; by instructing them in their moral and civil duties.
+Let them not labor under that humiliating and slavish error, that the
+landlord is everything, and themselves nothing; but let the absurdity
+be removed, and each party placed upon the basis of just and equal
+principle."
+
+"It is very right," said Hickman, "to educate the people, but who is to
+educate the landlords?"
+
+"A heavy task, I fear," said Easel, "from what I have observed since I
+came to the country."
+
+"The public opinion I speak of will force them into a knowledge of their
+duties. At present they disregard public opinion, because it is too
+feeble to influence them; and consequently they feel neither fear nor
+shame. So long as the landlords and the people come together as opposing
+or antithetical principles, it is not to be supposed that the country
+can prosper."
+
+"But how will you guide or restrain the landlord in estimating the value
+of his property?" inquired Mr. Clement. "Here are two brothers, for
+instance, each possessed of landed property; one is humane and
+moderate, guided both by good sense and good feeling; this man will
+not overburthen his tenant by exacting an oppressive rent. The other,
+however, is precisely the reverse of him, being naturally either
+rapacious or profligate, or perhaps both; he considers it his duty to
+take as much out of the soil as he can, without ever thinking of the
+hardships which he inflicts upon the tenant. Now, how would you remedy
+this, and prevent the tenant from becoming the victim either of his
+rapacity or profligacy?"
+
+"Simply by taking from him all authority in estimating the value of his
+own property.
+
+"But how?" said Clement, "is not that an invasion of private right?"
+
+"No; it is nothing more than a principle which transfers an unsafe
+privilege to other hands in order to prevent its abuse."
+
+"But how would you value the land?"
+
+"I am not at this moment about to legislate for it; but I think,
+however, that it would be by no means difficult to find machinery
+sufficiently simple and effective for the purpose. I am clearly of
+opinion that there should, be a maximum value on all land, beyond
+which, unless for special purposes--such, for instance, as building--no
+landlord ought to be permitted to go. This would prevent an incredible
+amount of rack-renting and oppression on the one hand; and of poverty,
+revenge, and bloodshed on the other. Where is the landlord now who looks
+to the moral character or industrial habits of a tenant? Scarcely one.
+On the contrary, whoever bids highest, or bribes highest, is sure to
+be successful, without any reference to the very qualities which, in a
+tenant, ought to be considered as of most importance."
+
+"I have now," said Easel, "made myself acquainted with the condition and
+management of the Castle Cumber property; and, truth to tell, I am not
+surprised at the frightful state of society upon it. M'Clutchy is
+the type of too numerous a class, and his son is a most consummate
+scoundrel. Why my--why Lord Cumber should have appointed him to his
+agency I cannot imagine."
+
+"But I can," said Harman; "that which has appointed many a scoundrel
+like him--necessity on the part of the landlord, and a desire to extend
+his political influence in the county."
+
+"He could not have gone a more successful way about it, however,"
+observed Easel.
+
+"If there be one curse," observed Harman, "worse than another on any
+such property, it is to have for your agent an outrageous partisan--a
+man who is friendly to one party and inimical to another--a fellow who
+scruples not to avail himself of his position, for the gratification of
+party rancor, and who makes the performance of his duties subservient to
+his prejudices, both religious and political. Think, for instance, of a
+rancorous No-Popery-man being made agent to an estate where the majority
+of the tenantry are Catholics."
+
+"As is the case on the Castle Cumber estate," said Easel.
+
+"And as is the case on too many estates, throughout the country," added
+Harman; but the truth is, that unless something is done soon to redress
+the local grievances of the people, there will, I fear, be bad work
+among us ere long. The tenantry are all ready in a state of tumult; they
+assemble on Sundays in vindictive-looking and suspicious groups; they
+whisper together, as if fraught with some secret purposes; and I am also
+told that they frequently hold nightly meetings to deliberate on what
+may be done. Between the M'Clutchys and M'Slimes, I must say they have
+ample cause for discontent."
+
+"Everything considered," said Easel, "it is better that we should
+anticipate them. When I say we, you of course know who I mean; but
+indeed we shall expect every aid, and it will be welcome, no matter from
+what quarter it comes."
+
+"M'Clutchy and the estate in question are topics on which I wish not to
+speak," said Hickman; "I do not blame Lord Cumber for dismissing me,
+Mr. Easel, the fact being--that I dismissed myself; but I most sincerely
+hope and trust, for the sake of the people, that some change for the
+better may take place. Good God, sir, how popular your----how popular
+Lord Cumber might become, and what a blessing to his tenantry and his
+country he might be in a short time."
+
+"I feel that, Mr. Hickman," said Easel, "I feel it now, because I know
+it. In this instance, too, I trust that knowledge will be power. Lord
+Cumber, sir, like other Irish Lords, has nothing to detain him in his
+native country but his own virtue. His absence, however, and the absence
+of his class in general, is, I fear "--and he smiled as he spoke--a
+proof that his virtue, as an Irish nobleman, and theirs, is not
+sufficiently strong to resist the temptations of an English court, and
+all its frivolous, expensive, and fashionable habits. He has now no
+duty as an Irish peer to render his residence in Ireland, at least for a
+considerable portion of the year, a matter of necessity to his class and
+his country. However, let us not despair--I have reason to think that
+his brother has nearly succeeded in bringing him to a sense of his duty;
+and it is not impossible that the aspect of affairs may be soon changed
+upon his estate."
+
+"The sooner, the better, for the sake of the people," said Harman. "By
+the by, Mr. Clement, are you to be one of the Reverend gladiators in
+this controversial tournay, which is about to take place in Castle
+Cumber?"
+
+"No," said Mr. Clement; "I look upon such exhibitions as manifestations
+of fanaticism, or bigotry, and generally of both. They are, in fact,
+productive of no earthly good, but of much lamentable evil; for instead
+of inculcating brotherly love, kindness, and charity--they inflame the
+worst passions of adverse creeds--engender hatred, ill-will, and fill
+the public mind with those narrow principles which disturb social
+harmony, and poison our moral feelings in the very fountain of the
+heart. I believe there is no instance on record of a sincere convert
+being made by such discussions."
+
+"But is there not an extensive system of conversion proceeding, called
+the New Reformation?" asked Easel. "It appears to me by the papers, that
+the Roman Catholic population are embracing Protestantism by hundreds."
+
+"How little are the true causes of great events known," said Hickman,
+laughing; "who, for instance, would suppose that the great spiritual
+principle by which this important movement has been sustained is the
+failure of the potato crop in the country, where this gracious work is
+proceeding. One would think, if everything said were true, that there
+are epidemics in religion as well as in disease; but the truth is, that
+the knavery or distress of two or three Catholics who were relieved,
+when in a state of famine, by a benevolent and kind-hearted nobleman,
+who certainly would encourage neither dishonesty nor imposture, first
+set this Reformation agoing. The persons I speak of, fearing that his
+Lordship's benevolence might cease to continue, embraced Protestantism
+_pro forma and pro tempore_. This went abroad, and almost immediately
+all who were in circumstances of similar destitution adopted the same
+course, and never did man pay more dearly for evangelical truth than did
+his Lordship. In the forthcoming battle the parsons are to prove to the
+world that all who belong to Popery must be damned, whilst the priests,
+on the other hand, broil the parsons until they blaze in their own fat.
+But, my God, when will charity and common sense prevail over bigotry and
+brimstone!"
+
+At this moment a servant entered to say that Poll Doolin--for she was
+well known--wished to see Mr. Harman on very particular business.
+
+"I can scarcely bear to look on the wretch," said Harman, "but as I
+Strongly suspect, that she may in some shape be useful to us, I desired
+her to come here. She called three times upon me, but I could not bring
+myself to see or speak to' her; she shall be the bearer of no messages
+to me," he said bitterly, "let her carry them elsewhere; d--n her."
+
+He betrayed deep and powerful emotion as he spoke, but, as his allusions
+were understood, there was--from a respect for his feelings, on the part
+of his audience--no reply made to his observations.
+
+"Since she called first," said Harman, pursuing the train of melancholy
+thought, "some vague notion, like the shadow of a dream crossed me;
+but, alas! it is transgressing the bounds of imagination itself even
+to suppose that it could be true. However, if it were, it is in your
+presence, sir" he said, addressing himself to Easel, "that I should wish
+to have it detailed; and, perhaps, after all, this slight, but latent
+reflection of hope, influenced me in desiring her to come here.
+Gentlemen, excuse me," said he, covering his face with his hands, "I am
+very wretched and unhappy--I cannot account for what has occurred; it
+looks like an impossibility, but it is true. Oh, if he were a man!--but,
+no, no, you all know how contemptible--what a dastardly scoundrel he
+is!"
+
+"Harman, my dear fellow," said Hickman, "we understand you, we respect
+your feelings, and we sympathize with you--but, in the meantime, do see
+and hear this woman."
+
+He had scarcely uttered the words when the servant entered, stating that
+she was at the door.
+
+"Let her come in," said Harman; "let the vile wretch come in."
+
+"And, do you, John, withdraw," said Hickman.
+
+Poll Doolin entered.
+
+Her appearance threw Harman into a violent state of agitation; he
+trembled, got pale, and seemed absolutely sickened by the presence of
+the wicked wretch who had been the vile instrument of Phil M'Clutchy's
+success, of Mary M'Loughlin's dishonor, and of his own unhappiness. It
+was the paleness, however, of indignation, of distress, of misery, of
+despair. His blood, despite the paleness of his face, absolutely boiled
+in his veins, and that the more hotly, because he had no object on which
+he could wreak his vengeance. Poll, who was always cool, and not without
+considerable powers of observation, at once noticed the tumult of his
+feelings, and, as if replying to them, said--
+
+"I don't blame you, Mr. Harman, thinkin' as you do; the sight of me
+is not pleasant to you--and, indeed, you don't hate me more than you
+ought."
+
+"What is your business with me?" said Harman.
+
+Poll looked around her for a moment, and replied--
+
+"I'm glad of it, the more the better; Francis Harman," she proceeded,
+"sit down, and listen to me; yes, listen to me--for I have it in my
+power to make you a happy man."
+
+"Great God! could my dream be true?" said Harman, placing himself in the
+chair.
+
+"Listen to me," she continued.
+
+"I listen; be brief--for I am in no humor for either falsehood or
+imposture."
+
+"I never bore you ill-will," she said, "and yet I have--and may God
+forgive me for it I--scalded the very heart within you."
+
+Harman again covered his face with his hands and groaned.
+
+"Will it relieve your heart to know that Mary M'Loughlin's an innocent
+and a slandered girl?"
+
+"Prove that," said Harman, starting to his feet, "oh, prove that, Poll,
+and never whilst I have life shall you want a--but, alas!" he exclaimed,
+"I am a beggar, and can promise you nothing."
+
+"And I'll tell you who beggared you before all is over--but, as I said,
+listen. It's now fifteen years since Brian M'Loughlin transported my son
+Dick, for stealin' a horse from him; he was my only son, barrin' poor
+Raymond, who was then a mere slip. He was a fine young man, but he was
+wild and wicked, and it was in Squire Deaker's house, and about
+Squire Deaker's stables, that he picked up his dishonesty and love of
+horses--he was groom to that ould profligate, who took him into sarvice
+for a raison he had."
+
+"Be as brief as you can," said Harman, "brief--brief."
+
+"On the contrary, Mr. Harman," said Clement, "let her, if you will be
+advised by me, take her own time, and her own way."
+
+"Thank you, sir," said Poll, "that's just what I wish. Well, he,
+M'Loughlin, transported my boy, that my heart was in, and from that
+minute I swore never to die till I'd revenge that act upon him. Very
+well--I kept my word. Phil M'Clutchy sent for me, and in his father's
+presence, we made up a plot to disgrace Miss M'Loughlin. I brought her
+out two or three times to meet me privately, and it was all on your
+account, by the way, for I tould her you were in danger; and I so
+contrived it, that on one or two occasions you should see myself and her
+together. I made her promise solemnly not to tell that she saw me, or
+mention what passed between us, or if she did, that your life was not
+safe; her love for you, kept her silent even to yourself. But it was
+when you were sent to gaol, that we found we had the best opportunity of
+ruining her, which was all I wanted: but Phil, the boy, wished to give
+you a stab as well as her. As for myself it was in for a penny, in for a
+pound with me, and I didn't care a traheen what you suffered, provided
+I had my revenge on any one belongin' to Brian M'Loughlin, that
+transported my son."
+
+"Is Mary M'Loughlin innocent?" asked Harman, starting from his seat, and
+placing his face within a few inches of Poll Doolin's.
+
+Poll calmly put her hand upon his shoulder, and said:--
+
+"Sit down, young man; don't disturb or stop me in what I'm sayin', and
+you'll come the sooner at the truth."
+
+"You are right," he replied, "but who can blame me?--my happiness
+depends on it."
+
+"Listen," said she, "we made up a plan that she was to meet Phil behind
+her father's garden--and why? Why, because I told her that Val had
+made up his mind to hang you; but I said that Phil, for her sake, could
+prevent that, and save you, if she would only see him that he might
+clear himself of some reports that had gone abroad on him. For your
+sake she consented to that; but not until I had brought her nearly to
+despair, and till she believed that there was no other hope for you.
+It was Val M'Clutchy, though, that put me up to bring several of the
+neighbors, and among the rest your own cousin, to witness the trick of
+Phil's gettin' in at the windy; as it was his to bring the bloodhounds,
+at the very minute, to catch the scoundrel in the poor girl's bedroom.
+That was enough; all the wather in the say couldn't wash her white, when
+this was given to the tongue of scandal to work upon."
+
+"But," said Mr. Clement, "you unfortunate woman, let me ask, why you
+suffered Mr. Harman to live under a conviction of Miss M'Loughlin's
+guilt?"
+
+"I tould you I had sworn to be revenged on either him, M'Loughlin, or
+his; and so I was--may God forgive me!--but one day that my poor foolish
+son undertook to convey Hugh Roe O'Regan's wife across the ford of Drum
+Dhu river while in a flood, he lost his footing, and never would breathe
+the breath of life again, only that God sent John M'Loughlin to the
+spot, and at the risk of his own life, he saved poor Raymond's. From
+that day out my heart changed. If one son was sent from me in life,
+the other was saved from death; and I swore to tell you the truth. But
+that's not the only injury I have done you. They put me up, and so
+did Solomon M'Slime, to drop hints wherever I went, that you and Mr.
+M'Loughlin were on the point of failin'; and, I believe, from some words
+I heard Phil say to Solomon one morning, that they put something into
+the paper that injured you."
+
+"What was it you heard?" said Hickman.
+
+"Phil said--'all right, Solomon, it's in--and--d--n my honor and
+reputation, but it will set a screw loose in the same firm;' he was
+reading the paper as he spoke."
+
+"All this is of great value," said Easel, "and must be made use of."
+
+"As for me," said Harman in an impassioned voice, "I care not a jot for
+our bankruptcy; the great and oppressive evil of my heart is removed; I
+ought, I admit, to have known that admirable girl better than to suffer
+any suspicion of; her to have-entered into my heart; but, then, I must
+have discredited my own eyes--and so I ought. God bless you, Poll!
+I forgive you all that you and those malignant villains have made me
+suffer, in consequence of what you have just now disclosed to us."
+
+"I could not have believed this," observed Easel; "I scarcely thought
+that such profound infamy was in human nature. Good God--and these two
+men hold the important offices of Head and Under Agent on the Castle
+Cumber estate!"
+
+"Have you nothing particular, Poll, about that pious little man,
+M'Slime?" asked Hickman. Poll, however, who in no instance was ever
+known to abuse professional confidence, shook her head in the negative.
+
+"No;" said she, "I know nothing that I can tell about him; honor
+bright's my motive--no--no. However, thank God, I've aised my mind by
+tellin' the truth, and when you see Mr. M'Loughlin, Mr. Harman, I'll
+thank you to let him know that I have done his daughter justice, and
+that from the minute his son saved mine, I had no ill-will to him or his
+family." She then departed.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXV.--Val and his Son brought to Trial
+
+A Ribbon Lodge--Their Crimes against the People,--Their Doom and
+Sentence--A Rebel Priest Preaching Treason--A Respite.
+
+
+It is undoubtedly a fact, as was observed in the dialogue just given,
+that the state of affairs on this property was absolutely fearful. The
+framework of society was nearly broken up, for such was the heartless
+rapacity and cruelty--such the multiplied and ingenious devices by which
+he harassed and robbed the tenantry, or wreaked his personal vengeance
+on all who were obnoxious to him or his son, that it was actually
+impossible matters could proceed much longer in a peaceable state. If
+the reader will accompany us to a large waste house, from which a
+man had been some time before ejected, merely because Val had a pique
+against him, he may gather from the lips of the people themselves, there
+assembled, on the very night in question, sufficiently clear symptoms of
+the state of feeling in the neighborhood.
+
+The hour at which they assembled, or rather began to assemble, was
+eleven o'clock, from which period until twelve they came in small groups
+of two or three at a time; so as to avoid observation on the way. Some
+of them had their faces blackened, and others who appeared utterly
+indifferent to consequences, did not think it worth their while to
+assume such a disguise. The waste house in which they were assembled,
+stood on a hillside, about half way between Castle Cumber and Drum Dhu;
+so that its isolated situation was an additional proof of their security
+from, surprise by the bloodhounds. The party were nearly all armed, each
+with such weapons as he could get, and most of them with fire or side
+arms, such as they were. They had several lights, but so cautious were
+they, that quilts and window-cloth's were brought to hang over the
+windows, to prevent them from being seen; for it was well known that the
+house was not inhabited, and the appearance of lights in it would most
+certainly send the wreckers on their back; as it was, however, they
+obviated all danger of this in the way I mention. When these men were
+met together, it might be supposed that they presented countenances
+marked by savage and ferocious passions, and that atrocity and cruelty
+were the-predominating traits in each face. This, however, was not so.
+In general they were just as any other number of men brought together
+for any purpose might be. Some, to be sure, among them betrayed strong
+indications of animal impulse; but taken together, they looked just as
+I say. When they were all nearly assembled, one might-naturally imagine
+that the usual animated dialogue and discussions, which the cause that
+brought them together furnished, would have taken place. This, however,
+was not the case. On the contrary, there was something singularly wild,
+solemn, and dreadful, in their comparative quietness; for silence we
+could not absolutely term it.
+
+There were many reasons for this. In the first place, there existed
+an apprehension of the yeomanry and cavalry, who had on more than one
+occasion surprised meetings of this description before. 'Tis true
+they had sentinels placed--but the sentinels themselves had been made
+prisoners of by parties of yeomen and blood-hounds, who had come in
+colored clothes, in twos and threes, like the Ribbon men themselves.
+There were other motives, however, for the stillness which
+prevailed--motives which, when we consider them, invest the whole
+proceedings with something that is calculated to fill the mind with
+apprehension and fear. Here were men unquestionably assembled for
+illegal purposes--for the perpetration of crime--for the shedding
+of human blood. But in what light did they view this terrible
+determination? Simply as a redress of grievances; as the only means left
+them of doing that for themselves which the laws refused to do for them.
+They keenly and bitterly felt the scourge of the oppressor, who,
+under the sanction, and in the name of those laws which ought to
+have protected them, left scarcely anything undone to drive them
+to desperation; and now finding that the law existed only for their
+punishment, they resolved to legislate for themselves, and retaliate
+on their oppressor. There is an awful lesson in all this; for it is
+certainly a frightful thing to see law and justice so partially and
+iniquitously administered as to disorganize society, and to make men
+look upon murder as an act of justice, and the shedding of blood as a
+moral triumph, if not a moral virtue. When, therefore, the very little
+conversation which took place among them, and that little in so low a
+tone, is placed in connection with the dark and deadly object of their
+meeting, it is no wonder that one cannot help feeling strangely and
+fearfully on contemplating it.
+
+About twelve o'clock they were all assembled but one individual, whom
+they appeared to expect, and for whom they looked out eagerly. Indeed
+they all came to a unanimous resolution of doing nothing that pertained
+to the business of the night until he should come. For this purpose they
+had not to wait long. A little past twelve a tall and powerful young
+man entered, leading by the hand poor insane Mary O'Regan--his pitiable
+and unconscious mother. He had heard of the death of his brother, during
+the cruel scene at Drum Dhu, and of the other inhuman outrage which
+had driven her mad. He had come from a remote part of England with the
+single, fixed, and irrevocable purpose of wreaking vengeance on the head
+of him who had brought madness, desolation, and death upon his family.
+
+On his entering, there was a slight low murmur of approbation, but the
+appearance of his mother caused it to die away. This, however, was
+almost immediately succeeded by another of a very different
+character--one in which there was a blending of many feelings--compassion,
+rage, revenge. The first thing the young man did was to take a candle in
+his hand, and hold it first close to his mother, so as that she might be
+distinctly seen, and afterward, near to his own face, in order that she
+might have a clear and equally distinct view of him. "Mother," said he,
+then, in a full voice, "do you know your son?" Her eye was upon him as
+he spoke, but it was vacant; there appeared no trace of recognition or
+meaning in it.
+
+"You all see that miserable sight," said he--"there my mother stands,
+and doesn't know who it is that is spaking to her. There she stands,
+blasted and destroyed by the oppressor. You all see this heart-breaking
+sight with your own eyes, and you all know who did it."
+
+'Tis singular how closely virtue and crime are allied! The very sympathy
+excited by this touching and melancholy spectacle--the very tenderness
+of the compassion that was felt for the mother and son, hardened the
+heart in a different sense, and stimulated them to vengeance.
+
+"Now," said the young man, whose name was Owen, "let them that have been
+oppressed and harassed by this Vulture, state their grievances, one at a
+time."
+
+An old man near sixty rose up, and after two or three attempts to speak,
+was overpowered by his feelings, and burst into tears. "Poor Jemmy
+Devlin!" they exclaimed, "may God pity you!"
+
+"Spake for Jemmy, some of you, as the poor man isn't able to spake for
+himself."
+
+"Why, the case was this," said a neighbor of the poor man's. "Jemmy's
+son, Peter, was abused by Phil, the boy, because he didn't pay him
+duty-work, and neglect his own harvest. He told Peter that he was a
+Popish rebel and would be hanged. Peter told him to his teeth that he
+was a liar, and that he couldn't be good, havin' the father's bastard
+dhrop in him. That was very well, but one night in about a month
+afterwards, the house was surrounded by the bloodhounds, poor Peter's
+clo'es searched, and some Ribbon papers found in them; they also got, or
+pretended to get, other papers in the thatch of the house. The boy
+was dragged out of his bed, sent to goal, tried, found guilty on the
+evidence of the bloodhounds, and sentenced to be flogged three times;
+but never was flogged a third time, for he died on the fourth day after
+the second flogging; and so, bein' an only son--indeed all the child the
+poor couple had--the old man is now childless and distracted, God help
+him!"
+
+"Very well," exclaimed Owen bitterly--"very well--who next?"
+
+A man named M'Mahon rose up,--"The curse of the Almighty God may for
+ever rest upon him!" he exclaimed. "He transported my two brave sons,
+because they were White-boys; and if they were, who made them Whiteboys
+but himself and his cruelty? I will never see my darling sons' faces
+again, but if I die without settlin' accounts wid him, may I never know
+happiness here or hereafter!"
+
+The usual murmur of commiseration followed this.
+
+"Well," said Owen, "whose turn comes next?"
+
+About a dozen of those who had been turned out of Drum Dhu now stood up.
+
+"We were turned out," said one of them, who acted as spokesman, "on one
+of the bittherest days that God ever sent on the earth; out of shame, I
+believe, because your brother and ould Mary Casey died, he let us back
+for a few days, but after that we had to flit. Some of the houses he had
+pulled down, and then he had to build them again for his voters. Oh, if
+it was only known what we suffered!"
+
+"And why did he turn you out?"
+
+"Why, because we didn't promise to vote as he wished."
+
+"He took my crop," said another, "at his own valuation, drew it home,
+and stacked it until the markets rose. I know what he got beyond the
+rent," proceeded the man, "but divil a rap ever the villain gave me back
+of the surplus, but put it in his pocket--and now I and my family are
+starving."
+
+"Ay, and," said another, "he took five firkins of as good butter from
+me as ever was made by hand, and at his own price, too. What could I
+do?--he said it was as a friend he did it; but if I objected to it, he
+said he must only seize. May the divil seize him, at any rate, as he
+will, the villain, I trust in God! He got to my own knowledge, thirteen
+pence a pound for it, and all he allowed me for it was eight pence
+halfpenny. May the devil run an auger through him, or baste his sowl wid
+it, this night; for of all the villains that ever cursed an estate, he's
+the greatest--barrin' the scoundrel that employs him."
+
+A poor but decent-looking man rose up. "I could bear," said he, "his
+cheating, or his defrauding me out of my right--I could bear that,
+although it's bad enough too; but when I think of the shame and disgrace
+his son brought upon my innocent girl, undher his father's roof,
+where she was at sarvice--may God curse him this night! My child--my
+child--when I think of what she was, and what she is, sure the thought
+of it is enough to drive me distracted, and to break my heart. Are we to
+live undher sich men? Ought we to allow sich villains to tramp us undher
+their feet? When I spoke to his blasted son about ruinin' my child--'My
+good fellow,' says he, 'if you don't keep a civil tongue in your head,
+I will trot you off the estate--I will send you to graze somewhere else.
+It's d--d proud you ought to feel for your daughter having a child by
+the like o' me;'--for that's the way--they first injure us, and kick us
+about as they plaise, and then laugh at and insult us."
+
+Another man got up. "You all know," said he, "that I hould fourteen
+acres in the townland of Augha-Winchal; and when Jerry Grogan went to
+America last spring, I offered for his farm of twelve acres, that lay
+into my own, marchin it. I offered him the rent he axed, which indeed
+was too much at any rate--but it lay so snug to me, that I could take
+more out of it than another. 'You shall have the farm, Frank,' said he;
+'but if you do, there must be ten pounds of an Imput.'* Well and good,
+I paid him the ten pounds, and Paddy Gormly, of Aughadarragh, gave him
+another Input for the same farm; and yet, hell bellis the villain, he
+gave it to neither of us, but to one of his own Blood-hounds, who gave
+him twenty for it. But that wasn't all--when I axed him for my money,
+he laughs in iny face, and says, 'Is 'it jokin' you are? Keep yourself
+quiet,' says he, 'or may be I'll make it a black joke to you.' Hell
+re-save him!"
+
+     * Imput--a douceur--or, in other words, a bribe to the
+     agent, on entering upon a farm.
+
+"He engaged me, and my horse and car," said another, "and Toal Hart with
+his, in the same way; to draw stones from Kilrud-den; and he said that
+whatever we earned he'd allow us in the rint. Of coorse we were glad to
+bounce at it; and, indeed, he made us both believe that it was a favor
+he did us. So far so good; but when the rint day came, hell purshue the
+testher he'd allow either of us; but threatened and abused us, callin'
+us names till the dogs wouldn't lick our blood. The Lord conshume him
+for a netarnal villain!"
+
+"That's all very well, but yait till you hear how he sarved me out,"
+said a poor, simple-looking creature. "It was at the gale day before
+the last, that I went to him wid my six guineas of rint. 'Paddy Hanlon,'
+says he, 'I'm glad to see you; an', Paddy, I've something in my eye for
+you; but don't be spakin' of it. Is that the rent?--hand it to me--an',
+Paddy, as this is Hurry Day with me--do like a good decent man, call
+down on Saturday about twelve o'clock, and I'll give you your receipt,
+and mention the other thing.' By coorse I went highly delighted; but the
+receipt he gave me was a notice to pay the same gale over agin, tellin'
+me besides, that of all the complatest rascals ever came acrass him
+I was the greatest; that he'd banish me off the estate and what not!
+Accordingly, I had to pay the same rint twiste. Now will any one tell me
+how that man can prosper by robbin' and oppressin the poor in this way?
+Hell scorch him!"
+
+The next that rose was a tall, thin-looking man, with much care and
+sorrow in his face. "Many a happy day," he said, "did I and mine spend
+under this roof; and now we may say that we hardly have a roof to
+cover us. Myself, and my wife, hould a cabin on' the estate of Major
+Richardson. My sons and daughters, instead of living comfortably at home
+with us, are now scattered abroad, earnin' their hard bread on other
+people's floors. And why? Because the Vulture's profligate son couldn't
+succeed in ruinin' one of my daughters; and because her brother 'Tom
+tould him that if ever he catched him comin' about the place again, or
+annoyin' his sisther, he'd split him with a spade. Afther that,
+they were both very friendly--father and son--and when I brought my
+half-year's rent--'never mind now,' said they, 'bring it home, Andy;
+maybe you may want it for something else that 'ud be useful to you.
+Buy a couple o' cows--or keep it till next rent day; we won't hurry
+you--you're a dacent man, and we respect you.' Well, I did put the
+money to other uses, when what should come down on me when the next half
+year's rent was due, but an Execution. He got a man of his own to swear
+that I was about to run away wid the rent, and go to America; and in
+a few days we were scattered widout a house to cover us. May the Lord
+reward him accordin' to his works!"
+
+There were other unprincipled cases where Phil's profligacy was
+brought to bear upon the poverty and destitution of the uneducated
+and unprotected female; but it is not our intention to do more than to
+allude to them.
+
+We now return to young O'Regan himself, who, at the conclusion, once
+more got a candle, and precisely in the same manner as he had done in
+the beginning, held it up and asked in a full firm voice, "mother,
+do you know your son?" And again received the same melancholy and
+unconscious gaze. "Now," said he, "you've all heard an account, and
+a true account, of these two villains' conduct. What have they left
+undone? They have cheated you, robbed you, and oppressed you in every
+shape. They have scourged to death and transported your sons--and they
+have ruined your daughters, and brought them to sin and shame--sorrow
+and distraction. What have they left undone, I ax again? Haven't they
+treated yez like the dirt under their feet? hunted yez like bloodhounds,
+as they are--and as if ye were mad dogs? What is there that they haven't
+made yez suffer? Shame, sin, poverty, hardship, bloodshed, ruin, death,
+and madness; look there"--he added, vehemently pointing to his insane
+mother--"there's one proof that you see; and you've heard and know the
+rest. And now for their trial."
+
+Those blood-stirring observations were followed by a deep silence, in
+fact, like that of death.
+
+"Now," said he, pulling out a paper, "I have marked down here twelve
+names that I will read for you. They are to act as a jury; they are to
+thry them both for their lives--and then to let us hear their sentence."
+
+He then read over the twelve names, every man answering to his name as
+he called them out.
+
+"Now," he proceeded, "this is how you are to act; your silence will give
+consent to any question that is asked of you. Are you willin' that these
+twelve men should thry Valentine M'Clutchy and his son for their lives;
+and that the sentence is to be put in execution on them?" To this there
+was a profound and ominous silence.
+
+"Very well," said he, "you agree to this. Now," said he to the jurors,
+"find your sentence."
+
+The men met together, and whispered in the centre of the floor, for a
+few minutes--when he, who acted as foreman, turned towards O'Regan and
+said--"They're doomed."
+
+"To what death?"
+
+"To be both shot."
+
+"Are you all satisfied with this sentence?"
+
+Another silence as deep and ominous as before.
+
+"Very well," said he, "you all agree. As for the sentence, it is a just
+one; none of you need throuble yourselves any farther about that; you
+may take my word for it, that it will be carried into execution. Are you
+willing it should?"
+
+For the third time an unbroken silence. "That's enough," said he; "and
+now let us go quietly home."
+
+"It is not enough," said a voice at the door; "let none depart without
+my permission, I command you;" and the words were no sooner uttered than
+the venerable Father Roche entered the house.
+
+"Wretched and misguided men," said he, to what a scene of blood and
+crime have I just now been an ear witness? Are you men who live under
+my ministry?--who have so often heard and attended to my sincere and
+earnest admonitions? I cannot think ye are, and yet, I see no face here
+that is unknown to me. Oh, think for a moment, reflect, if you can, upon
+what you have been doing!--planning the brutal, ungodly murder of two
+of your fellow creatures! And What makes the crime still more revolting,
+these two fellow creatures father and son. What constituted you judges
+over them? If they have oppressed you, and driven many of you to ruin
+and distress, and even to madness, yet, do you not know that there is
+a just God above to whom they must be accountable for the deeds done in
+the flesh? Are you to put yourselves in the place of the Almighty?--to
+snatch the sceptre of justice and judgment out of his hands, and take
+that awful office into your own, which belongs only to him? Are ye
+indeed mad, my friends? Do you not know that out of the multitude
+assembled here this moment there is not one of you whose life would not
+be justly forfeited to the law? not one. I paused at the half closed
+door before I entered, and was thus enabled to hear your awful, your
+guilty, your blasphemous proceedings. Justice belongs to God, and in
+mocking justice you mock the God of Justice."
+
+"But you don't know, Father Roche," said O'Regan, "you couldn't imagine
+all the villany he and his son have been guilty of, and all they've made
+the people suffer."
+
+"I do know it too well; and these are grievances that God in his own
+good time will remove; but it is not for us to stain our souls with
+guilt in order to redress them. Now, my children, do you believe that
+I feel an interest in your welfare, and in your happiness hereafter? Do
+you believe this?"
+
+"We do, sir; who feels for us as you do?"
+
+"Well, then, will you give me a proof of this?"
+
+"Name it, sir, name it."
+
+"I know you will," continued the old man; "I know you will. Then, in the
+name of the merciful God, I implore, I entreat--and, if that will
+not do, then, as his servant, and the humble minister of his word and
+will--I command you to disavow the murderous purpose you have come to
+this night. Heavenly Father," said he, looking up with all the fervor
+of sublime piety, "we entreat you to take from these mistaken men the
+wicked intention of imbruing their guilty hands in blood; teach them a
+clear sense of Christian duty; to love their very enemies; to forgive
+all injuries that may be inflicted on them; and to lead such lives as
+may never be disturbed by a sense of guilt or the tortures of remorse!"
+The tears flowed fast down his aged cheeks as he spoke, and his deep
+sobbings for some time prevented him from speaking. Those whom he
+addressed were touched, awakened, melted. He proceeded:--
+
+"Take pity on their condition, O Lord, and in thine own good time, if it
+be thy will, let their unhappy lot in this life be improved! But,
+above, all things, soften their hearts, inspire them with good and pious
+purposes, and guard them from the temptations of revenge! They are my
+flock--they are my children--and, as such, thou knowest how I lave and
+feel for them!"
+
+They were more deeply moved, more clearly awakened, and more
+penetratingly touched. Several sobs were heard towards the close of his
+prayer, and a new spirit was diffused among them.
+
+"Now, my children," said he, "will you obey the old man that loves you?"
+
+"We will," was the universal response, "we will obey you."
+
+"Then," said he, "you promise in the presence of God, that you will not
+injure Valentine M'Clutchy and his son?"
+
+"In the presence of God we promise," was the unanimous reply.
+
+"Then, my children, may the blessing of Almighty God be with you, and
+guard and protect you wherever you go. And now proceed home, and sleep
+with consciences unburthened by guilt."
+
+And thus were Valentine M'Clutchy and his son saved, on this occasion,
+by the very man whom they termed "a rebellious Popish priest."
+
+It was observed, however, by most of those present that Owen O'Regan
+availed himself of the good priest's remonstrance to disappear from the
+meeting--thus evading the solemn obligation to refrain from crime, into
+which all the rest entered.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXVI.--Harman's Interview with Mary M'Loughlin
+
+--An Execution for Rent Forty Years ago--Gordon Harvey's Friendly
+Remonstrance with his Brother Orangemen.
+
+
+The development, by Poll Doolin, of the diabolical plot against Mary
+M'Loughlin's character, so successfully carried into effect by Phil
+and Poll herself, took a deadly weight off Harman's heart. Mary, the
+following morning, little aware that full justice had been rendered her,
+was sitting in the parlor with her mother, who had been complaining for
+a day or two of indisposition, and would have admitted more fully the
+alarming' symptoms she felt, were it not for the declining health of her
+daughter. If there be one misery in life more calculated than another to
+wither and consume the heart, to make society odious, man to look like a
+blot in the creation, and the very providence of God doubtful, it is
+to feel one's character publicly slandered and misrepresented by
+the cowardly and malignant, by the skulking scoundrel and the moral
+assassin--to feel yourself loaded with imputations that are false,
+calumnious, and cruel. Mary M'Loughlin felt all this bitterly.
+
+In her heart; so bitterly, indeed, that all relish for life had departed
+from her. She was now spiritless, hopeless, without an aim or object, or
+anything to sustain her, or to give interest to existence. Philosophy,
+which too often knows little about actual life, tells us that a
+consciousness of being innocent of the social slanders that are heaped
+upon an individual, is a principle that ought to support and console
+him. But the truth is, that this very consciousness of innocence is
+precisely the circumstance which sharpens and poisons the arrow that
+pierces him, and gives rancor to the wound.
+
+On the morning in question, Mary sat by her mother who lay reclining
+on a sofa, each kindly attempting to conceal from the other the illness
+which she felt. Mary was pale, wasted, and drooping; the mother, on the
+contrary, was flushed and feverish.
+
+"I wish, my dear mother," said she, "that you would yield to me, and go
+to bed: you are certainly worse than you wish us to believe."
+
+"It won't signify, Mary; it's nothing but cold I got, and it will pass
+away. I think nothing of myself, but it grieves my heart to see you look
+so ill; why don't you strive to keep up your spirits, and to be what
+you used to be? But God help you, my poor child," said she, as the tears
+started to her eyes, "sure it's hard for you to do so."
+
+"Mother," she replied, "it is hard for me; I am every way surrounded
+with deep and hopeless affliction. I often wish that I could lay my
+head quietly in the grave; but then, I should wish to do so with my name
+unstained--and, on the other hand, what is there that can bind me to
+life? I am not afraid of death, but I fear to die now; I know not,
+mother, what to do, I am very much to be pitied. Oh," she added, whilst
+the tears fell in torrents from her cheeks, "after all, I feel that
+nothing but death can still the thoughts that disturb me, and release me
+from the anguish that weighs me down and consumes me day by day."
+
+"My dear child," replied her mother, "we must only trust to God, who,
+in his own good time, will set everything right. As it is, there is no
+respectable person in the neighborhood who believes the falsehood, with
+the exception of some of the diabolical Wretch's friends."
+
+Mary here shuddered, and exhibited the strongest possible symptoms of
+aversion, even to momentary sickness.
+
+"If," pursued the mother, "the unfortunate impression could be removed
+from poor, mistaken Harman, all would be soon right."
+
+The mention of Harman deeply affected the poor girl; she made no reply,
+but for some minutes wept in great bitterness.
+
+"Mother," said she, after a little time, "I fear you are concealing
+the state of your own health; I am sure, from your flushed face
+and oppressive manner of speaking, that you are worse than you think
+yourself, or will admit."
+
+"Indeed, to tell the truth, Mary, I fear I am; I feel certainly very
+feverish--I am burning."
+
+"Then, for heaven's sake, go to bed, my dear mother; and let the doctor
+at once be sent for."
+
+"If I don't get easier soon, I will," replied her mother, "I do not much
+like going to bed, it looks so like a fit of sickness."
+
+At this moment a tap at the door announced a visitor, and almost
+immediately Harman entered the parlor. It is scarcely necessary to say,
+that Mary was quite unprepared for his appearance, as indeed was her
+mother. The latter sat up on the sofa, but spoke not, for she scarcely
+knew in what terms to address him. Mary, though much moved previous to
+his entrance, now assumed the appearance of a coldness, which in her
+heart she did not feel. That her lover, who ought to have known her
+so well, should have permitted himself to be borne away by such an
+ungenerous suspicion of her fidelity, was a reflection which caused her
+many a bitter pang. On the other hand, when she looked back upon the
+snare into which she had been drawn, it was impossible not to admit
+that the force of appearances made a strong case against her. For this
+reason, therefore, she scarcely blamed Harman, whilst, at the same
+time, she certainly felt that there was something due to her previous
+character, and the maidenly delicacy of her whole life.
+
+"You are surprised, Mary, to see me here," said Harman; "and you, Mrs.
+M'Loughlin, are no doubt equally so?"
+
+"I think it is very natural we should be, James," replied Mrs.
+M'Loughlin. "I must confess that your visit is an unexpected one
+certainly, and my anxiety now is, to know the cause to which we may
+attribute it. Sit down."
+
+He did not sit, however, but exclaimed--"Good heavens, what is this?
+Why, Mary, I should scarcely have known you. This change is dreadful."
+
+Neither of the females spoke; but the daughter bestowed on him a single
+look--long, fixed, and sorrowful--which did more to reprove and soften
+him, than any language could have done. It went to his heart--it
+filled him with grief, repentance, remorse. For many a day and night
+afterwards, her image, and that look, were before him, exerting a
+power over his soul, which kindled his love to a height it would never
+otherwise have reached. He approached her.
+
+"What reparation do I not owe you, my beloved Mary, for my base and
+ungenerous belief in that scoundrel's vile calumny? Such reparation,
+however, as I can make, I will. You are not aware that Poll Doolin has
+confessed and disclosed the whole infamous plot; and in a few days the
+calumny will be extinct. As for me, you know not what a heavy weight
+pressed my heart down to the uttermost depths of suffering. I have not
+been without other calamities--yet this, I take heaven to witness, was
+the only one I felt."
+
+There was a tone of deep feeling and earnest sincerity in his words,
+which could not for a moment be mistaken. His face, too, was pale, and
+full of care, and his person much thinner than it had been.
+
+Mary saw all this at a glance--as did her mother. "Poor James," said the
+latter, "you have had your own troubles, and severe ones, too, since we
+saw you last."
+
+"They are gone," he replied; "I care not, and think little about them,
+now that Mary's character is vindicated. If I should never see her,
+never speak to her more, the consciousness that she is the same angelic
+being that I first found her to be, would sustain me under the severest
+and most depressing calamities of life. And God knows," he said, "I
+am likely to experience them in their worst shape; but, still, I have
+courage now to bear up against them."
+
+On approaching Mary nearer, he perceived that her eyes were suffused
+with tears--and the sight deeply affected him. "My dear Mary," said he,
+"is there not one word for me? Oh, believe me, if ever man felt deep
+remorse I do."
+
+She put her hand out to him, and almost at the same instant became
+insensible. In a moment he placed her, by her mother's desire, on the
+sofa, and rang the bell for some of the servants to attend. Indeed,
+it would be difficult, if not impossible, to look upon a more touching
+picture of sorrow and suffering than that pure-looking and beautiful
+girl presented as she lay there insensible; her pale but exquisite
+features impressed with a melancholy at once deep and tender, as was
+evinced by the large tear-drops that lay upon her cheeks.
+
+"May God grant that her heart be not broken," exclaimed her mother,
+"and that she be not already beyond the reach of all that our affections
+would hope and wish! Poor girl," she added, "the only portion of the
+calamity that touched her to her heart was the reflection that you had
+ceased to love her!"
+
+Mrs. M'Loughlin whilst she spoke kept her eyes fixed upon her daughter's
+pale but placid face; and whilst she did so, she perceived that a few
+large tears fell upon it, and literally mingled with those of the poor
+sufferer's which had been there before. She looked up and saw that
+Harman was deeply moved.
+
+"Even if it should be so," he exclaimed, "I shall be only justly
+punished for having; dared to doubt her."
+
+A servant having now entered, a little cold water was got, which,
+on being sprinkled over her face and applied to her lips, aided in
+recovering her.
+
+"Your appearance," said she, "and the intelligence you brought were
+so unexpected, and my weakness so great, that I felt myself overcome;
+however, I am better--I am better, now;" but whilst she uttered these
+words her voice grew tremulous, and they were scarcely out of her lips
+when she burst out into an excessive fit of weeping. For several minutes
+this continued, and she appeared to feel relieved; she then entered into
+conversation, and was able to talk with more ease and firmness than she
+had evinced for many a day before. It was just then that a knock came
+to the hall door, and in a couple of minutes about a dozen of Val's
+blood-hounds, selected to act as bailiffs and keepers--a task to which
+they were accustomed--entered the house with an Execution to seize for
+rent. This, at all times and under all circumstances, is a scene in
+which a peculiar license is given to brutality and ruffianism; but in
+the present case there were additional motives; with which the reader is
+already acquainted, for insulting this family. Not that the mere-levying
+of an Execution was a matter of novelty to either Mary or her mother,
+for of late there had unfortunately been several in the house and on
+their property before. These, however, were conducted with a degree of
+civility that intimated respect for, if not sympathy with, the feelings
+of a family so inoffensive, so beneficial to the neighborhood by the
+employment they afforded, and, in short, every way so worthy of respect.
+
+"What is all this about?" asked Harman.
+
+"Why," said one of the fellows, "we're seizin' for rent: that's what
+it's about."
+
+"Rent," observed the other, surprised, "why, it is only a few minutes
+since Mr. M'Loughlin told me that M'Clutchy assured him--"
+
+"Captain M'Clutchy, sir, if you plaise."
+
+"Very well--Captain M'Clutchy, or Colonel M'Olutchy, if you wish,
+assured him that--"
+
+"I have nothing to do with what he assured him," replied the fellow; "my
+duty is to take an inventory of the furniture; beg pardon, ladies, but
+we must do our duty you know."
+
+"Let them have their way," said Mrs. M'Loughlin, "let them have their
+way; I know what they are capable of. Mary, my dear, be firm--as I said
+before--our only trust is in God, my child."
+
+"I am firm, my dear mother; for, as James said, the grief of griefs
+has been removed from me. I can now support myself under anything--but
+you--indeed, James, she is battling against illness these three or
+four days--and will not go to bed; it is for you I now feel, mother."
+
+Mr. M'Loughlin and his family here entered; and truth to tell, boundless
+was the indignation of the honest fellow, at this most oppressive and
+perfidious proceeding on the part of the treacherous agent.
+
+"Ah," said he, "I knew it--and I said it--but let the scoundrel do his
+worst; I scorn him, and I defy him in the very height of his ill-gotten
+authority. My children," said he, "keep yourselves cool. Let not this
+cowardly act of oppression and revenge disturb or provoke you. This
+country, as it is at present governed--and this property as it is at
+present managed--is no place for us to live in. Let the scoundrel then
+do his worst. As for us, we will follow the example of other respectable
+families, who, like ourselves, have been forced to seek a home in
+a distant country. We will emigrate to America, as soon as I can
+conveniently make arrangements for that purpose; for God knows I am sick
+of my native land, and the petty oppressors which in so many ways harass
+and goad the people almost to madness."
+
+He had no sooner uttered these words, than the fellow whose name was
+Hudson, whispered to one of his companions, who immediately disappeared
+with something like a grin of exultation on his countenance. Mrs.
+M'Loughlin's illness was now such as she could no longer attempt to
+conceal. The painful shock occasioned by this last vindictive proceeding
+on the part of M'Clutchy, came at a most unhappy moment. Overcome by
+that and her illness, she was obliged to go to bed, aided by her husband
+and her daughter; but before she went, it was considered necessary to
+get one of the ruffians, as an act of favor, to take an inventory of
+the furniture in her chamber, in order that her sick room might not be
+intruded upon afterwards.
+
+Mary having put her sick mother to bed, returned to the parlor, from
+whence she was proceeding to the kitchen, to make whey with her own
+hands for the invalid, when in passing along the hall, Harman and her
+brother John met her. She was in a hurry, and was about to pass without
+speaking a word, when she and they were startled by the following
+dialogue--
+
+"So, Bob, did you see the pale beauty in the parlor?"
+
+"I did, she's a devilish pretty girl."
+
+"She is so--well, but do you know that she is one of Mr. Phil's ladies.
+Sure he was caught in her bed-room some time ago."
+
+"Certainly, every one knows that; and it appears she is breaking her
+heart because he won't make an honest woman of her."
+
+John caught his sister, whose agitation, was dreadful, and led her away;
+making at the same time, a signal to Harman to remain quiet until his
+return--a difficult task, and. Harman felt it so. In the meantime, the.
+following appendix was added to the dialogue already detailed--
+
+"Why do you hould such talk under this, roof, Leeper?" asked a third
+voice.
+
+The only reply given to this very natural query was a subdued cackle,
+evidently proceeding from the two first speakers.
+
+"Do you both see that strong horse-pistol," said the third voice--for in
+those days; an Execution was almost always levied by armed men--"by the
+Bible of truth, if I hear another word of such conversation from any
+man here while we're under this roof, I'll sink the butt of it into his
+skull! It's bad enough that we're here on an unpleasant duty--"
+
+"Unpleasant! speak for yourself."
+
+"Silence, you ruffian--on an unpleasant-duty; but that's no reason that
+we should grieve the hearts and insult the feelings of a respectable
+family like this. The truth, or rather the blasted falsehood that was
+put out on the young lady is now known almost everywhere, for Poll
+Doolin has let out the truth.
+
+"But didn't Misther Phil desire us to say it, so as that they might hear
+us."
+
+"Mr. Phil's a cowardly scoundrel, and nothing else; but, mark me, Phil
+or no Phil, keep your teeth shut on that subject."
+
+"Just as much or as little of that as we like, if you please, Mr. ----."
+
+"Very well, you know my mind--so take the consequences, that's all."
+
+"Here goes then," said the ruffian, speaking in a deliberately loud
+voice, "it's well known that Miss M'Loughlin is Misther Phil's----"
+
+A heavy blow, followed by a crash on the floor--a brief conflict as if
+with another person, another blow, and another crash followed. Harman,
+in a state of feeling which our readers may imagine, but which we cannot
+describe, pushed in the door, which, in fact, was partially open.
+
+"What, what is this?" he asked, pretending ignorance, "is it fighting
+among yourselves you are? Fie, fie! Gordon Harvey, what is the matter?"
+
+"Only a little quarrel of our own, Mr. Harman," replied the excellent
+fellow. "The truth is, sir, that these men--ay, gather yourselves up,
+do; you ought to have known Gordon Harvey's blow, for you have often
+enough heard of it before now; there is no great mistake about that,
+you scoundrels--the truth is, Mr. Harman, that these fellows were primed
+with whiskey at M'Clutchy's and they gave me provoking language that
+I couldn't bear; it's well for them that I didn't take the butt end
+of that," said he, holding up the horse-pistol in his left hand, "but
+you'll find ten for one that would rather have a taste of it than of
+this;" shutting his right--which was a perfect sledgehammer, and, when
+shut, certainly the more formidable weapon of the two.
+
+The two ruffians had now gathered themselves up, and appeared to be
+considerably sobered by Harvey's arguments. They immediately retired
+to a corner of the room, where they stood with a sullen but vindictive
+look--cowardly and ferocious, ready to revenge on M'Loughlin's family
+the punishment which they had received, but durst not resent, at the
+hands of Harvey--unquestionably one of the most powerful and generous
+Orangemen that was ever known in Castle Cumber. Let us not for a moment
+be mistaken. The Orangemen of Ireland contained, and still contain among
+them, men of great generosity, courage, and humanity. This is undeniable
+and unquestionable; but then, it is well known that these men never took
+any part in the outrages perpetrated by the lower and grosser grades,
+unless to prevent outrage. In nothing, indeed, was the lamentable state
+of the Irish Church Establishment more painfully obvious than in the
+moral ignorance and brutal bigotry, which want of Christian instruction
+and enlightened education had entailed upon men, who otherwise have been
+a high-minded, brave, and liberal class, had they not been corrupted by
+the example of the very pastors--ungodly, loose, convivial, political,
+anything but Christian--from whom they were to expect their examples and
+their precepts. But to return. Harman having given a significant glance
+to Harvey, left the room, and the latter immediately followed him.
+
+"Harvey," said he, "I have overheard the whole conversation; give me
+your hand, for it is that of an honest man. I thank you, I thank you--do
+try and prevent these ruffians from insulting the family."
+
+"I don't think the same thing will happen a second time, Mr. Harman,"
+replied the gigantic Orangeman; "but, the truth is, the men are half
+drunk, and were made so before they came here."
+
+"Well, but I thank you, Harvey; deeply and from my soul, I thank you."
+
+"You needn't, Mr. Harman; I hate a dirty and ungenerous thing. Phil's a
+brother Orangeman, and my tongue is tied--no doubt I'll be expelled for
+knocking these two scoundrels down, but I don't care; it was too bad and
+too cruel, and, let the upshot be what it may, Gordon Harvey is not the
+man to back a scoundrelly act, no matter who does it, or who orders it."
+
+They shook hands cordially, and we now must leave the family for a time,
+to follow the course of other events that bear upon our narrative.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXVII.--Bob Beatty's Last Illness
+
+--A Holy Steeple Chase--A Dead Heat--Blood against Varmint--Rival
+Claims--A Mutual Disappointment--The Last Plea for Salvation--_Non
+Compos Mentis_
+
+
+Our readers may remember that we have alluded to an Orangeman, named Bob
+Beatty, who had become a convert to the Church of Rome. This Beatty, on
+the part of the priest, was a very fair set-off against Darby O'Drive,
+on the part of Mr. Lucre. As they were now on the eve of the great
+discussion, each felt considerable gratification in having his convert
+ready to produce at the discussion, as a living proof of his zeal for
+religious truth. The principal vexation which the priest had felt,
+lay in the almost insuperable difficulty of keeping Bob from liquor,
+inasmuch as whenever he happened to take a glass too much, he always
+forgot his conversion, and generally drank the Glorious Memory, and all
+other charter toasts, from habit. It so happened, however, that a few
+days previous to the great Tournay, Bob became so ill in health, that
+there was little hope of his surviving any length of time. During this
+illness, he had several interviews with. Father Roche, who informed
+him of the near approach of death, and prepared him, as well as could
+readily be done, to meet it; for truth to tell, he was at all times an
+impracticable subject on which to produce religious impressions. Be this
+as it may, a day or two previous to the discussion, his wife, feeling
+that he was near his dissolution, and determined, if possible, that
+he should not die a Roman Catholic, went in hurry for Mr. Clement, who
+happened to be in attendance on a funeral and was consequently from
+home. In the meantime, his Roman Catholic neighbor, hearing that she
+meant to fetch the minister, naturally anxious that the man should not
+die a Protestant, lost no time in acquainting Father M'Cabe with his
+situation. Mrs. Beatty, however, finding that Mr. Clement was not to be
+procured, left her message with his family, and proceeded in all haste
+to Mr. Lucre's in order to secure his attendance.
+
+"My good woman," said he, "your husband, I trust, is not in such danger.
+Mr. Clement cannot certainly be long absent, and he will attend; I am
+not quite well, or I should willingly go myself."
+
+"Very well," said the woman, "between you, I suppose, you will let the
+priest, M'Cabe have him; and then it will be said he died a Papish."
+
+"What's that?" inquired Mr. Lucre, with an interest which he could not
+conceal; "what has M'Cabe to do with him?"
+
+"Why,", returned the woman, "he has made him a Papish, but I want him to
+die a True Blue, and not shame the family."
+
+"I shall attend," said Lucre; "I shall lose no time in attending. What's
+your husband's name?"
+
+"Bob Beatty, sir."
+
+"Oh, yes, he is subject to epilepsy."
+
+"The same, sir."
+
+She then gave him directions to find the house, and left him making very
+earnest and rapid preparations to do what he had not done for many a
+long year--attend a death-bed; and truly his absence was no loss.
+
+In the meantime, Father M'Cabe having heard an account of Bob's state,
+and that the minister had been sent for, was at once upon the alert, and
+lost not a moment in repairing to his house. So very eager, indeed,
+were these gentlemen, and so equal their speed, that they met at the
+cross-roads, one of which turned to Bob's house. In the meantime, we
+may as well inform our readers here, that Bob himself had, in his wife's
+presence, privately sent for Father Roche.
+
+Each instantly suspected the object of the other, and determined in his
+own mind, if possible, to frustrate it.
+
+"So, sir," said the priest, "you are on your way to Bob Beatty's, who
+is, as you know, one of my flock. But how do you expect to get through
+the business, Mr. Lucre, seeing that you are so long out of practice?"
+
+"Bob Beatty was never, properly speaking, one of your flock, Mr. M'Cabe.
+I must beg leave to ride forward, sir, and leave you to your Christian
+meditations. One interview with you is enough for any man."
+
+"Faith, but I love you too well to part with you so easily," said the
+priest, spurring on his horse, "cheek by jowl--and a beautiful one you
+have--will I ride with you, my worthy epicure; and, what is more, I'll
+anoint Bob Beatty before your eyes."
+
+"And, perhaps, perform another miracle," replied Mr. Lucre, bitterly.
+
+"Ay will, if it be necessary," said the priest; "but I do most solemnly
+assure you that by far the most brilliant miracle of modern days is to
+find the Rev. Phineas Lucre at a sick-bed. Depend upon it, however, if
+Beatty had not turned Catholic, he might die like a dog for the same Mr.
+Lucre."
+
+"I will not abstract the last shilling from his pocket for the unction
+of superstition, at all events."
+
+"Not you, faith; you'll charge him nothing I grant, and right glad am I
+to find that you know the value of your services. You forget, however,
+that my flock pay you well for doing this nothing--that is, for
+discharging your duty--notwithstanding."
+
+Both now pushed on at a rapid rate, growling at each other as they went
+along. On getting into the fields they increased their speed; and as the
+peasantry of both religions were apprised of the circumstances connected
+with Bob's complaint and conversion, each party cheered on their own
+champion.
+
+"More power to you Father M'Cabe; give him the Latin and the Bravery!"
+(*Breviary)
+
+"Success, Mr. Lucre! Push on, sir, and don't let the Popish rebel send
+him out of the world with a bandage on his eyes. Lay in the Bible, Mr.
+Lucre! Protestant and True Blue forever--hurra!"
+
+"The true Church forever, Father M'Cabe, the jewel that you war! Give
+the horse the spurs, avourneen. Sowl, Paddy, but the _bodagh_ parson has
+the advantage of him in the _cappul_. Push on, your reverence; you
+have the divil and the parson against you, for the one's drivin' on the
+other."
+
+"Cross the corner of the Barny Mother's meadow, Mr. Lucre, and wheel
+in at the garden ditch; your horse can do it, although you ride the
+heaviest weight. Lay on him, sir, and think of Protestant Ascendancy.
+King William against Popery and wooden shoes; hurra!"
+
+"Father, achora, keep your shoulder to the wind, and touch up _Parra
+Gastha_ (* Literally, Paddy Speedy) wid the spurs. A groan for the
+Protestant parson, father darlin'!"
+
+"Three groans for the Popish Mass Book. Bravo, Mr. Lucre! That ditch was
+well cleared!"
+
+"Devil a purtier, father jewel! Parra Gastha's a darlin', and brought
+you over like a bird--hurra!"
+
+"Have you no whip, Mr. Lucre? Whip and spur, sir, or the Popish garran
+will be in before you. By the great Boyne, I'm afraid the charger's
+blown."
+
+"God enable you, father avilish! Blown! Why what would you expect, an'
+it the first visit ever the same horse made to a sick-bed' in his life;
+he now finds it isn't on the king's highway he is--and I'll go bail it's
+himself that's cursin' the same duty in his heart. Bravo, Father Pat!
+Parra Gastha's the boy that knows his duty--more power, Parra Gastha!
+Divil pursue the hair's turned on him; but, be me sowl, it wouldn't
+be so, if he led the life the Protestant blood did.--feedin' high, and
+doin' nothin'."
+
+"Mr. Lucre, pull out; I see you're hard up, sir, and so is your charger.
+Push him, sir, even if he should drop. Death and Protestantism before
+Popery and dishonor! Hurra, well done!"
+
+"Ah, be me sowl, it's near the last gasp wid him and his masther, and
+no wondher; they're both divilish far out of their element. Faith, if
+they had Father M'Cabe and Parra Gastha's practice, they wouldn't be the
+show they are this minute. Well done both! fresh and fair, snug and dry,
+you do it. Hurra!"
+
+When the two worthy gentlemen had reached Bob's house, they dismounted,
+each in a perspiration, and rushed to the bed of the dying man. Mr.
+Lucre sat, of course, at one side, and the priest at the other; Mr.
+Lucre seized the right hand, and the priest the left: whilst Bob looked
+at them both alternately, and gave a cordial squeeze to each.
+
+"You thought, sir," said Mr. Lucre to the priest haughtily, "that he
+would have died an idolater."
+
+Bob squeezed Mr. Lucre's hand again.
+
+"And you thought," replied Father M'Cabe, "that he would die a
+Protestant or a heretic, which is the same thing."
+
+Bob squeezed Father M'Cabe's hand once more.
+
+"Gentlemen," said Bob, "be pleased to sit down--you are both Christian
+ministers, I hope."
+
+"No," said Father M'Cabe, "there is but one of us a Christian; Mr. Lucre
+here is not worthy of the name, Bob."
+
+Bob squeezed the priest's hand a third time.
+
+"Beatty," said Mr. Lucre, "this is a solemn occasion, and I'm bound to
+say, that the priest here is merely a representative of Antichrist. This
+is not a time to disguise the truth."
+
+Bob squeezed Mr. Lucre's hand a third time also.
+
+"Beatty," continued Mr. Lucre, "if you permit yourself to die a Papist,
+you seal your own everlasting punishment."
+
+"True," said Bob.
+
+"Bob," said the priest, "if after the explanations of the true church
+which I have given you, you allow yourself to relapse into heresy, you
+will suffer for it during all eternity."
+
+"True," said Bob.
+
+"There is no hope for those, who, like the Papists and idolators, hew
+for themselves vessels that will hold no water," said Lucre.
+
+[Illustration: PAGE 322-- "Ah, very right," said Bob.]
+
+"Ah, very right," said Bob.
+
+"There is but one Faith, one Church, and one Baptism, and that is ours,"
+said the priest.
+
+"Ah, you can do it," said Bob, with a squeeze.
+
+"Bob," said the wife, "what do you mean? I don't understand you--die a
+True Blue, and don't shame your friends."
+
+"Gentlemen," said Bob, "I feel disposed to sleep a little. It is likely
+that a few minutes' rest may strengthen my weak body, and clear my mind
+for the consolations of religion, which you are both so beautifully
+prepared to give me. I feel rather drowsy, so I'll close my eyes for a
+few minutes, and doze a little."
+
+Bob closed his eyes for about four mortal hours and a half, during
+which time our two worthy gentlemen sat at his bed-side with the most
+exemplary patience. At length he opened his eyes, and inquired for his
+daughter Fanny, who had been sent for Father Roche; to her he whispered
+a few words, after which she went out, but almost immediately returned.
+He looked at her inquiringly, and she answered:
+
+"Yes, just as I expected--in a few minutes."
+
+"Gentlemen," said Bob, "I am much aisier now; but I am at a loss whether
+to to prepared for heaven by you, Mr. Lucre, or by Father M'Cabe."
+
+"Beatty," said Lucre, "you have have access to the Bible, and
+possessing, as you do, and as you must, the Scriptural knowledge, gained
+from that sacred book, to die in the church which worships crucifixes
+and images would leave you without hope or excuse."
+
+"Ah!" said Bob, "you are sound in point of doctrine. No man is more
+orthodox than you."
+
+"Bob," said the priest, "you know what the Council of Trent says:--
+'There is but one Church, one Faith, and one Baptism'--if you die out
+of that church, which is ours, woe betide you. No, Bob, there is no hope
+for you if you die an apostate, Bob."
+
+"Ah," said Bob, "you can send it home, Father M'Cabe."
+
+"Bob," said the wife, "die a True Blue, and don't shame the family."
+
+"There is but a blue look up for you if you do," said Father M'Cabe.
+
+"Blue is the emblem of hope, and for that reason the Orange system has
+adopted it as illustrative of our faith," said Mr. Lucre.
+
+He had scarcely uttered the words, when Father Roche entered the sick
+apartment. High and haughty was the bow he received from Mr. Lucre;
+whilst Father M'Cabe seemed somewhat surprised at the presence of
+the reverend gentlemen. The latter looked mildly about him, wiped the
+moisture from his pale forehead and said--
+
+"Mrs. Beatty, will you indulge me with a chair? On my return home I lost
+not a moment in coming here; but the walk I have had is a pretty long
+one, the greater part of it being up-hill."
+
+"Well," replied Mrs. Beatty, "I'm not the woman to think one thing and
+speak another. To be sure, I'd rather he would die a True Blue than a
+Papish; but since he will die one, I'd rather have you at his side than
+e'er a priest in the kingdom. If there is a Christian among them, you
+are one--you are--so, Bob dear, since you're bent on it, I won't disturb
+you."
+
+"Bring your chair near me," said Bob; "where is your hand, my dear sir?
+Give Me your hand." Poor Bob caught Father Roche's hand in his, and
+pressed it honestly and warmly.
+
+"Bob," said Mr. Lucre, "I don't understand this; in what creed are you
+disposed to die?"
+
+"You see, sir," said M'Cabe, "that he _won't_ die in yours at any rate."
+
+"You will not die in my creed!" repeated the parson, astonished.
+
+"No," said Bob; "I will not."
+
+"You will then die in mine, of course?" said Mr. M'Cabe.
+
+"No," replied Bob; "I will not."
+
+"How is that?" said the priest.
+
+"Explain yourself," said Mr. Lucre.
+
+"_I'll die a Christian_," replied Bob. "You're both anything but what
+you ought to be; and if I wasn't on my death-bed you'd hear more of it.
+Here is a Christian clergyman, and under his ministry I will die."
+
+"Ah," said Mr. Lucre, "I perceive, Mrs. Beatty, that the poor man's
+intellect is gone; whilst his reason was sound he remained a staunch
+Protestant, and as such, we shall claim him. He must be interred
+according to the rights of our church, for he dies clearly _non compos
+mentis_."
+
+Father Roche now addressed himself to Beatty, and prepared him for his
+great change, as became a pious and faithful minister of the gospel.
+Beatty, however, was never capable of serious impressions. Still, his
+feelings were as solemn as could be expected, from a man whose natural
+temperament had always inclined him to facetiousness and humor. He died
+the next day, after a severe fit, from which he recovered only to linger
+about half an hour in a state of stupor and insensibility.
+
+This conflict between the priest and the parson was a kind of prelude in
+its way, to the great Palaver, or discussion, which was immediately to
+take place between the redoubtable champions of the rival churches.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXVIII.--Darby is a Spiritual Ganymede
+
+--Preparations for the Great Discussion, which we do not
+give--Extraordinary Hope of a Modern Miracle--Solomon like an Angel
+looking into the Gospel.
+
+
+On the morning of the appointed day, the walls of Castle Cumber were
+duly covered with placards containing the points to be discussed, and
+the names of the speakers on both sides of the question. The roads
+leading to the scene of controversy were thronged with people of
+all classes. Private jaunting cars, gigs, and carriages of every
+description, rolled rapidly along. Clergymen of every creed, various as
+they are, moved through the streets with eager and hurried pace, each
+reverend countenance marked by an anxious expression arising from the
+interest its possessor felt in the result of the controversy. People, in
+fact, of all ranks and religions, were assembled to hear the leading men
+on each side defend their own creeds, and assail those of their enemies.
+The professional men relinquished, for the day, their other engagements
+and avocations, in order to be present; and invalids, who had not been
+long out of their sick rooms, tottered down, wrapped in cloaks, to hear
+this great display of learning and eloquence. Early on the preceding
+morning, the Catholic Clergy, though without the sanction of their
+Bishops, formally signified to the committee of the society, their
+intention of meeting them man to man on the platform. Before the door
+was open to the crowd at large, the opposing clergymen and the more
+select friends on both sides were admitted by a private entrance.
+The gallery was set aside for ladies, who, in Ireland, and we believe
+everywhere else, form an immense majority at religious meetings.
+
+When the house was thronged to suffocation, none but a man intimately
+acquainted with the two-fold character of the audience, could observe
+much more within it, than the sea of heads with which it was studded.
+The Protestant party looked on with a less devoted, but freer aspect;
+not, however, without an evident feeling and pride in the number and
+character of their champions. A strong dash of enthusiasm might be seen
+in many fair eyes among the females, who whispered to each other an
+occasional observation concerning their respective favorites; and
+then turned upon the divine champions, smiles that seemed to have been
+kindled by the sweet influences of love and piety. Among the Roman
+Catholic party there was an expression of wonder created by the novelty
+of the scene; of keen observation, evinced by the incessant rolling
+of their clear Milesian eyes from one party to another, together with
+something like pity and contempt for the infatuated Biblemen, as they
+called them, who could so madly rush upon the sharp theological spears
+of their own beloved clergymen. Dismay, or doubt, or apprehension of any
+kind, were altogether out of the question, as was evident from the proud
+look, the elated eye, and the confident demeanor by which each of them
+might be distinguished. Here and there, you might notice an able-bodied,
+coarse-faced Methodist Preacher, with lips like sausages, sombre visage,
+closely cropped hair, trimmed across his face, sighing from time to
+time, and, with eyes half closed, offering up a silent prayer for
+victory over the Scarlet Lady; or, perhaps, thinking of the fat ham
+and chicken, that were to constitute that day's dinner, as was not
+improbable, if the natural meaning were to be attached to the savory
+spirit with which, from time to time, he licked, or rather sucked at,
+his own lips. He and his class, many of whom, however, are excellent
+men, sat at a distance from the platform, not presuming to mingle with
+persons who consider them as having no title to the clerical character,
+except such as they conveniently bestow on each other. Not so the
+Presbyterian Clergymen who were present. They mingled with their
+brethren of the Establishment, from whom they differed only in a less
+easy and gentlemanly deportment, but yielded to them neither in kindness
+of intellect, firmness, nor the cool adroitness of men well read,
+and quite as well experienced in public speaking. At the skirt of
+the platform sat the unassuming Mr. Clement, a calm spectator of the
+proceedings; and in the capacity of messenger appeared. Darby O'Drive,
+dressed in black--he had not yet entered upon the duties of his new
+office--busily engaged in bringing in, and distributing oranges and
+other cooling fruit, to those of the Protestant party who were to
+address the meeting. High aloft, in the most conspicuous situation
+on the platform, sat Solomon M'Slime, breathing of piety, purity, and
+humility. He held a gilt Bible in his hands, in order to follow the
+parties in their scriptural quotations, and to satisfy himself of their
+accuracy, as well as that he might fall upon some blessed text, capable
+of enlarging his privileges. There was in his countenance a serene
+happiness, a sweet benignity, a radiance of divine triumph, partly
+arising from the consciousness of his own inward state, and partly
+from the glorious development of scriptural truth which would soon be
+witnessed, to the utter discomfiture of Popery and the Man of Sin.
+For some time before the business of the day commenced, each party
+was busily engaged in private conferences; in marking passages for
+reference, arranging notes, and fixing piles of books in the most
+convenient position. Mr. Lucre was in full pomp, exceedingly busy,
+directing, assisting, and tending their wants, with a proud courtesy,
+and a suavity of manner, which no man could better assume. The
+deportment and manners of the Roman Catholic clergy were strongly
+marked, and exceedingly well defined; especially in determination of
+character and vigor of expression. In a word, they were firm, resolute,
+and energetic. Among the latter, the busiest by far, and the most
+zealous was Father M'Cabe, who assumed among his own party much the same
+position that Mr. Lucre did among his. He was, no doubt of it, in great
+glee, and searched out for Mr. Lucre's eye, in order to have a friendly
+glance with him, before the play commenced. Lucre perceived this, and
+avoided him as much as he could; but, in fact, the thing was impossible.
+At length he caught the haughty parson's eye, and exclaimed with a
+comical grin, which was irresistible--
+
+"I am glad to see you here, Mr. Lucre; who knows, but we may make a
+Christian of you yet. You know that we, as Catholics, maintain that the
+power of working miracles is in the Church still; and that, certainly,
+would prove it."
+
+Mr. Lucre bowed, and smiled contemptuously, but made no reply.
+
+When the chairman was appointed, and the regulations by which the
+meeting was to be guided, read and assented to by both parties, the
+melee commenced; and, indeed, we are bound to say, that a melancholy
+comment upon Christian charity it was. It is not our intention to give
+anything like a report of this celebrated discussion, inasmuch, as two
+reports, each the genuine and authentic one, and each most egregiously
+contradictory of the other, have been for several years before the
+public, who, consequently, have a far better right to understand the
+business than we do, who are at this distant date merely the remote
+historian.
+
+We may be permitted to say, however, that the consequences of this great
+discussion were such as are necessarily produced by every exhibition of
+the kind. For a considerable time afterwards nothing was heard between
+Catholic and Protestant but fierce polemics, and all the trite and wordy
+arguments that are to be found in the mouths of ignorant and prejudiced
+men on both sides. The social harmony of the district was disturbed, and
+that friendly intercourse which should subsist between neighbors, was
+either suspended or destroyed. A fierce spirit of exacerbation and
+jealousy was created, and men looked Upon each other with bitterness and
+resentment; whilst to complete the absurdity, neither party could
+boast of a single convert to attest the glory of the triumph which each
+claimed.
+
+At this period, the character of the Castle Cumber yeomanry corps, or as
+they were called, M'Clutchy's Blood-hounds, was unquestionably in such
+infamous odor with all but bigots, in consequence of their violence
+when upon duty, that a few of the more mild and benevolent gentry of the
+neighborhood, came to the determination of forming a corps composed of
+men not remarkable for the extraordinary and exclusive loyalty which put
+itself forth in so many offensive and oppressive forms. Deaker's Dashers
+were by no means of such rancid bigotry as M'Clutchy's men, although
+they were, heaven knows, much worse than they ought to have been.
+
+Their most unjustifiable excesses, however, Were committed in his
+absence, and without his orders; for it is due to Deaker himself to
+say, that, although a staunch political Protestant and infidel, he never
+countenanced violence against those who differed from him in creed.
+Deaker's creed was a very peculiar one, and partook of the comic
+profligacy which marked his whole life. He believed, for instance,
+that Protestantism was necessary, but could not for the life of him
+understand the nature or tendency of religion. As he himself said, the
+three great Protestant principles and objects of his life were--to drink
+the "Glorious Memory "--"To hell with the Pope"--merely because he was
+not a Protestant--and to "die whistling the Boyne Water." If he could
+accomplish these successfully, he thought he had discharged his duty to
+his king and country, and done all that could be fairly expected from an
+honest and loyal Protestant. And, indeed, little, if anything else, in
+a religious way, was expected from him, or from any other person, at the
+period of which we write.
+
+Be this, however, as it may, the formation of a new corps of cavalry was
+determined on, and by unanimous consent, the conduct of the matter in
+all its departments was entrusted to Mr. Hartley, the gentleman already
+mentioned, as selected to contest the county against Lord Cumber or his
+brother, for it had not yet been decided on between them, as to which of
+them should stand. Lord Cumber expected an Earldom for his virtues, with
+a seat in the house of Lords, and should these honors reach him in
+time, then his brother, the Hon. Richard Topertoe, should be put in
+nomination. In point of fact, matters between the two parties were fast
+drawing to a crisis, and it was also in some degree to balance interests
+with Lord Cumber, and neutralize the influence of the Irish government,
+that Hartley and his friends deemed it advisible to have a cavalry corps
+at their disposal. The day of the dissolution of parliament was now
+known, and it naturally became necessary that each candidate should be
+found at his post.
+
+It was at this very period that a circumstance occurred, which, although
+of apparently small importance, was nevertheless productive of an
+incident that will form the catastrophe of our chronicles. Our readers
+cannot forget the warm language which passed between the man Sharpe and
+our exquisite friend, Philip M'Clutchy, on their way from Deaker's. Now,
+it is due to this man to say, that, on looking back at the outrage
+which occurred in O'Regan's cottage, and reflecting upon the melancholy
+consequences it produced--not forgetting the heart-rending insanity of
+O'Regan's wife--he felt deep regret, amounting almost to remorse,
+for the part which he bore in it. Independently of this, however, the
+conduct of Phil and his father, in their military capacity over the
+corps, was made up of such tyrranical insolence at one time, and of such
+contemptible meanness at another, that the men began to feel disgusted
+with such sickening alternations of swaggering authority, and base,
+calculating policy. Many of them, consequently, were heartily tired of
+their officers, and had already begun to think of withdrawing altogether
+from the corps, unless there were some change for the better made in
+it. Now, at this precise state of feeling, with regard to both
+circumstances, had Sharpe arrived, when he met his lieutenant on the
+day when that gallant gentleman signalized himself by horsewhipping his
+grandmother. Phil's threat had determined him to return to the Dashers,
+but, on hearing a day or two afterwards, that Hartley was about to raise
+a new corps, composed of well-conducted and orderly men, he resolved
+not only to offer himself to that gentleman, but to induce all who
+were moderate among the "hounds," and, indeed, they were not many,
+to accompany him. This alarmed M'Clutchy very much, because on Lord
+Cumber's arrival to canvass the county, it would look as if his
+Lordship's interests had been neglected; and he feared, too, that the
+withdrawing of the men from his corps might lead to investigations
+which were strongly to be deprecated. After a day or two's inquiries,
+therefore, and finding that from eighteen to twenty of his youngest
+and most respectable yeomanry had not only returned him their arms and
+appointments, but actually held themselves ready to be enrolled in the
+Annagh Corps--for so Hartley's was termed--he sat down and wrote the
+following letter to Lord Cumber:--
+
+"Constitution Cottage, June--
+
+"My Lord:
+
+"Circumstances affecting your Lordship's personal and political
+interests have recently occurred here, and are even now occurring, which
+render it my painful duty to communicate with you on the subject without
+loss of time. I am sorry to say that the conduct of Mr. Hartley,
+your well known opponent for the county, is not that which becomes a
+high-minded man. The Cavalry Corps of which your Lordship is Colonel,
+and which, by the way, has rendered good service in the firm discharge
+of their duty, has been very much damaged by the extraordinary conduct
+which that gentleman is pursuing. The fact is, that he has taken it
+into his head, aided and assisted of course by his friends and political
+supporters, to raise a corps of Yeomanry Cavalry as it were, in
+opposition to ours; and this, no doubt, he has a right to do; although
+I am quite certain, at the same time, that it is done with a view to
+secure either the support, or at least the neutrality of government;
+which neutrality would, as your Lordship knows, be a heavy blow to
+us. However, as I said, he has as good a right as we have to raise his
+corps; but I do not think he is justified in writing private circulars,
+or in tampering with the men of our corps, many of whom he has already
+seduced from their duty, and lured over with honeyed words and large
+promises to the body he is raising. The fact is, my Lord, if our
+men were not so devotedly attached to my son and myself as they are,
+Hartley's unjustifiable interference would leave the corps a mere
+skeleton. As it is, he has taken eighteen of our very best men from us;
+by best, I allude only to youth and physical energy, for I need scarcely
+say, that all the staunch and loyal fellows remain with us. I am
+sorry to add that Mr. Hickman, as I predicted he would, is vigorously
+supporting your opponent; and there is a scoundrel here who is often
+closeted with him--a rascally painter named Easel, _quem ego_--you see
+I have a little of my Latin still, my Lord. The fellow--this wild goose,
+Easel, I mean--says he has come to the neighborhood to take sketches;
+but if I don't mistake much I shall ere long put him in a condition to
+sketch the Bay of Sidney. I have already reported him to government,
+and, indeed, I have every reason to suppose he is a Popish Agent, sent
+here to sow the seeds of treason and disaffection among the people.
+Nothing else can account for the dreadful progress which Whiteboyism has
+made upon your Lordship's property, where it is much more outrageous and
+turbulent than in any other district that I am acquainted with. I have
+also to acquaint you, my Lord, that even if I were disposed to keep
+M'Loughlin and Harman on the property--that is, granting that I were
+sufficiently treacherous to your interest to do so, it is now out of my
+power. Their own dishonesty has at length fallen upon their heads. They
+are bankrupts, and not now in a condition to pay a renewal fine for
+their leases; but I am happy to inform your Lordship, that my son
+Phil, and Mr. M'Slime, have each offered five hundred pounds for their
+respective holdings--a tender which I might in vain expect from any
+other quarter and which I cannot conscientiously refuse.
+
+"Harman was acquitted for the murder of Harpur--in consequence, it is
+thought, of a treacherous scoundrel, named Sharpe, who was once one of
+our corps, having taken a bribe to give evidence in his favor. This same
+Sharpe is to be a sergeant in Hartley's corps; and, when I say that,
+Hartley and Harman are and have been on very intimate terms, I think
+it shows how the wind blows between them, at all events. I have been
+receiving rent yesterday and to-day, and cannot but regret the desperate
+state to which things have been brought. There is no gettin' in
+money, and the only consolation I feel is, that I have honestly and
+conscientiously discharged my duty. I have cleared a great number of
+our enemies from the property, but, unfortunately, such is the state
+of things here, that there is the greater number of the holdings still
+unoccupied, other tenants that we could depend on being afraid to enter
+upon them, in consequence of the spirit of intimidation that is abroad.
+This M'Loughlin is certainly a most consummate swindler: he was unable
+to pay his rent, and I sent in an execution yesterday; but, as every one
+knows, fourteen days must elapse before the public auction of property
+takes place. Judge of my surprise then, when, short as was the time, an
+affidavit has been made before me, that he and his family have come to
+the determination of emigrating to America, and, I suppose, by the aid
+of a midnight mob to take away all that is valuable of their property
+by force. I consequently must remove it at once, as the law, under such
+circumstances, empowers me to do--for I cannot sit by and suffer your
+lordship' to be robbed, in addition to being both misrepresented and
+maligned by these men and their families. Granting the full force,
+however, of this unpleasant intelligence, still I do not think it
+necessary that you should at present leave the circles of polished and
+fashionable life in which you move, to bury yourself here among a set
+of malignant barbarians, who would scruple very little to slit your
+lordship's weasand, or to shoot you from behind a hedge.
+
+"I am in correspondence with Counsellor Browbeater, at the Castle, who,
+in addition to the glorious privilege of being, as he deserves to be,
+free of the Back Trot there, is besides a creature after my own heart.
+We are both engaged in attempting to bring the Spy System to that state
+of perfection which we trust may place it on a level with that fine old
+institution, so unjustly abused, called the Inquisition. Browbeater is,
+indeed, an exceedingly useful man to the present government, and does
+all that in him lies, I mean out of his own beat, to prevent them from
+running into financial extravagance. For instance, it was only the other
+day that he prevented a literary man with a large family from getting a
+pension from the Premier, who, between you and me, my lord, is no great
+shake; and this was done in a manner that entitles him to a very
+lasting remembrance indeed. The principle upon which he executed this
+interesting and beautiful piece of treachery--for treachery of this
+kind, my lord, is in the catalogue of public virtues--was well worthy of
+imitation by every man emulous of office; it was that of professing
+to be a friend to the literary man, whilst he acted the spy upon his
+private life, and misrepresented him to the Minister. Oh, you do not
+know, my lord, how the heart of such a man as I am, warms to the author
+of this manly act of private treachery and public virtue, and I cannot
+help agreeing with my friend M'Slime, who, when he heard it, exclaimed
+with tears of admiration in his eyes, 'it is beautiful--verily the
+virtuous iniquity of it refreshes me! May that mild, meek, and most
+gentlemanly Christian, Mr. Browbeater, be rewarded for it! And may the
+day never come when he shall require to tread in the footsteps of the
+devil!' Indeed, my lord, I cannot help crying amen to this, and adding,
+that the remembrance of his virtues may descend and reflect honor on
+his posterity, as, I have no doubt, they will do. How few like him could
+transfuse the spirit of the Tipperary assassin into the moral principles
+of the Castle, for useful purpose? I beg to inclose, your lordship, Mr.
+Hartley's circular, which, I think, contains an indirect reflection on
+certain existing bodies of a similar nature, and is therefore, in my
+opinion, very offensive to us; I also enclose you others which he has
+written to several of your tenants, who are already members of your own
+corps,
+
+"I have the honor to be, &c, &c,
+"Val M'Clutchy."
+
+
+The following is the circular alluded to above--
+
+"Sir: As a proposal to raise an additional yeomanry corps of
+_respectable_ cavalry in Castle Cumber and its vicinity is about to be
+submitted to the Lord Lieutenant, in order to receive his approbation,
+your presence is requested at Sam Company's Castle Cumber Arms, at
+twelve o'clock on Friday next, when it is proposed to name officers,
+and adopt such further measures as may appear most conducive to the
+embodiment of the corps with expedition and effect.
+
+"I am, sir,
+"Your humble servant,
+"Henry Hartley."
+
+
+To his letter Val received the following reply--
+
+"Belgrave Square.
+
+"Dear Sir: I received your letter, and perfectly agree with you as to
+the offensive nature of Mr. Hartley's circular, many of which I have had
+in my possession for some time past. With respect to him, I have only
+to say, that he and I have agreed to arrange that matter between us, as
+soon as I reach Castle Cumber. I am sorry that any of my tenants should
+deserve the character which M'Loughlin and his partner have received
+at your hand; I dare say, however, that if they did not deserve it they
+would not get it. The arrangements for their removal, of course I leave
+as I hitherto have left everything within the sphere of your duty, to
+your own sense of honesty and justice. _Do not, however, take harsh
+or sudden steps_. In the meantime lose not a moment in remitting the
+needful.
+
+"Yours, &c,
+"Cumber."
+
+
+It is not at all likely that Lord Cumber would ever have noticed
+Hartley's circular, or troubled himself about the formation of the
+new corps in the slightest degree were it not for the malignity of
+M'Clutchy, who not only hated the whole family of the Hartleys from the
+same principle on which a knave hates an honest man, but in remembrance
+of that gentleman's cousin having, in his office, and in his own
+presence, kicked his son Phil and pulled his nose. When enclosing
+the circular, therefore, to his lordship, he underlined the word
+"respectable," by which it was made to appear deliberately offensive.
+Whether it was used with the design of reflecting upon the licentious
+violence of the blood-hounds, we pretend not to say, but we can safely
+affirm that the word in the original document was never underlined
+by Hartley. Lord Cumber, like his old father, was no coward, and
+the consequence was, that having once conceived the belief that the
+offensive term in the circular was levelled at his own corps--although
+he had never even seen it--he, on the receipt of M'Clutchy's letter,
+came to the determination of writing to Hartley upon the subject.
+
+
+Lord Cumber to Henry Hartley, Esq.:--
+
+"Sir: I have just perused a circular written by you, calling a meeting
+at the Castle Cumber Arms, with the object of forming what you are
+pleased to term, a yeomanry corps of _respectable_ cavalry. Now you are
+perfectly at liberty to bestow whatever epithets you wish upon your new
+corps, provided these epithets contain no unfair insinuation against
+existing corps. I think, therefore, that whilst others have been for
+some time already formed in the neighborhood, your use of the term
+respectable was, to say the least of it, unhandsome. I also perceive
+that you have written to some of my tenants, who are already enrolled
+in the Castle Cumber corps, and am informed that several of my men have
+already given up their arms and clothing, on account of an application
+from you to join your corps. I presume, sir, you did not know that these
+persons belonged to the Castle Cumber troops, for, however anxious
+in the cause you may be, I need not point out to you a very obvious
+fact--to wit--that weakening a corps already embodied only tends to
+defeat the purpose for which it was designed. I take it, therefore, for
+granted, that no gentleman, however great his influence, would ask any
+soldier to desert his colors, and I am sure you will tell those men that
+they ought to remain in the body in which they were enrolled, and in
+which enrollment their names have been returned to the war office. In
+conclusion, I think that the tenant who does not reserve to himself the
+power of serving the landlord under whom he derives the whole of his
+property, is, in my opinion, both ungrateful and unprincipled: and
+he who solicits him to resign that essential reservation is, I think,
+extremely indelicate.
+
+"I am, &c, Cumber."
+
+
+To this Mr. Hartley sent the following:--
+
+"My Lord: I cannot at all recognize the tyrannical principle you lay
+down in your definition of the relations between landlord and tenant. I
+deny that a tenant necessarily owes any such slavish and serf-like duty
+to his landlord as you advocate; and I am of opinion, that the landlord
+who enforces, or attempts to enforce such a duty, is stretching his
+privileges beyond their proper limits. I do not understand that any of
+your lordship's tenantry have been solicited to join our new corps. I
+have signed circular letters for my own tenantry, and if any of them
+have reached yours, it has been without either my consent or knowledge.
+
+"I have the honor to be,
+"My lord, &c,
+"Henry Hartley."
+
+
+Lord Cumber to Henry Hartley, Esq.:--
+
+"Sir: I beg to inquire whether you apply the word tyrannical to me?
+
+"I have the honor, &c,
+"Cumber."
+
+
+Henry Hartley, Esq., to the Eight Hon. Lord Cumber:--
+
+"My Lord: I think if you had read my last communication with due
+attention, you might have perceived that I applied the term which seems
+to offend you, to your principles, rather than to yourself. So long as
+your lordship continues, however, to advocate such a principle, so long
+shall I associate it with the epithet in question.
+
+"I have the honor, &c,
+"Henry Hartley."
+
+
+Lord Cumber to Henry Hartley, Esq.:--
+
+"Sir: Your letter merely contains a distinction without a difference.
+So long as I identify my principles with myself, or myself with my
+principles, so long shall I look upon any offence offered to the one as
+offered to the other. The principle, therefore, which you brand with the
+insulting epithet tyrannical, is one which I hold, and ever shall
+hold; because I believe it to be just and not tyrannical. I await your
+explanation, and trust it may be satisfactory.
+
+"I have the honor to be, &c,
+"Cumber."
+
+
+Henry Hartley, Esq., to the Eight Hon. Lord Cumber:--
+
+"My Lord: I am not anxious to have a quarrel with you, and I believe you
+will admit that the courage neither of myself nor any one of my
+family was never called in question. I really regret that any serious
+misunderstanding should arise between us, from this mere play upon
+words. I trust, therefore, to your Lordship's good sense, and good
+feeling, not to press me on this occasion.
+
+"I have the honor, &c,
+"Henry Hartley."
+
+
+Lord Cumber to Henry Hartley, Esq.:--
+
+"Sir: I never doubted your courage until now. I have only to say, that I
+beg an answer to my last letter.
+
+"I have the honor, &c,
+"Cumber."
+
+
+Henry Hartley, Esq., to Lord Cumber:--
+
+"My Lord: Your Lordship will find it in my last but one.
+
+"I have the honor, &c, &c,
+"Henry Hartley."
+
+
+Lord Cumber to Henry Hartley, Esq.:--
+
+"Sir: I beg to say that I shall be in Castle Cumber within a fortnight
+from this date, and that you shall have early and instant notice of my
+arrival.
+
+"I remain, &c,
+"Cumber."
+
+
+Henry Hartley, Esq., to Lord Cumber:--
+
+"And I, my Lord, shall be ready to meet you either there or anywhere
+else,
+
+"And have the honor, &c,
+"Henry Hartley."
+
+
+In the meantime, and whilst this correspondence was going forward,
+the political reeling about Castle Cumber rose rapidly between the
+adherents and friends of each. M'Clutchy called a meeting of Lord
+Cumber's friends and his own, which was held in the public rooms of
+Castle Cumber. The following is the report taken from the columns of the
+"True Blue: "--
+
+"At a special meeting of the committee of the Castle Cumber cavalry,
+held in that town on Monday, the 15th March, 18--, Lieutenant Philip
+M'Clutchy in the chair.
+
+"Captain Valentine M'Clutchy having communicated to certain of the
+Castle Cumber corps a circular letter, as well as committee to the
+effect that Henry Hartley, Esq., having directed private letters,
+influencing them to withdraw therefrom, and join a troop which he is
+now about raising, and that in consequence of these steps on his part,
+several of the Castle Cumber troopers had deserted, and were enrolled in
+the new corps:--
+
+"And Captain M'Clutchy having laid before the said Committee a copy of a
+letter which he had drawn up to be sent to Henry Hartley, Esq., and
+the Committee, having taken the same into their most serious
+consideration:--
+
+"It was unanimously resolved--That any attempt to induce the defection
+of any members enrolled in such corps, even to join another corps, is
+highly injurious to the Institution at large, inasmuch, as it holds
+out a pernicious example of desertion, and above all, is calculated to
+excite a jealous electioneering spirit, and create enmity between
+the yeomanry troops, whose utility and value to the country depend on
+unanimity and mutual good will.
+
+"Resolved--That the above resolution, together with the following letter
+signed by the Chairman in the name of the meeting, be forwarded to Henry
+Hartley, Esq.:
+
+"'Sir--Having associated for the safety and quiet of this portion of the
+country, aa well as for the protection of our families and properties,
+we feel ourselves particularly called upon, on an occasion like the
+present, to stand forward and repel the attack made upon this loyal
+corps, and, indeed, on the whole body of yeomanry throughout this
+kingdom--in spiriting away, by your letters and undue influence, some
+of our members, and attempting to procure others to be withdrawn from a
+corps already enrolled, armed, and complete. Be assured, sir, we shall
+be at all times ready, and happy to afford every assistance in
+the formation of any new corps in our neighborhood, provided this
+co-operation shall have no effect in diminishing our own.
+
+"'We, therefore, call upon you to reflect on the measures you have
+taken and are taking, and not to persevere in the error of keeping such
+deserters from our troop as have joined yours; as we shall in the case
+of your persisting to do so, most certainly publish the whole course
+of your proceedings in this matter for the satisfaction of our loyal
+brethren throughout the kingdom, and leave them to decide between you
+and us.
+
+"'Philip M'Clutchy, Chairman.
+"'Valentine M'Cldtchy, Captain.
+"'Richard Armstrong, Second Lieutenant.
+"'Robebt M'bullet.
+"'Charles Cartridge.
+"'Boniface Buckram.
+"'Dudley Fulton, Secretary.'"
+
+
+To these documents, which were so artfully worded as to implicate
+Hartley without openly committing themselves, that gentleman having
+already had the understanding with Lord Cumber of which our readers are
+already cognizant made the following brief reply.
+
+
+"'To Richard Armstrong, Esq., second Lieutenant of the Castle Cumber
+Cavalry:--
+
+"Sir: I have received two resolutions passed at a meeting of your
+troop in Castle Cumber, and regret to say, for the sake of the Yeomanry
+service of the country, that I cannot send any communication to
+those who bear the two first names on your committee. I trust I am a
+gentleman, and that I shall not knowingly be found corresponding with
+any but gentlemen. I have only now simply to say, that I repel with
+great coolness--for indignation I feel none--the charges that have
+been brought against me, both in the resolutions, and the letter which
+accompanied them. Neither shall I take further notice of any letters
+or resolutions you may send me, as I have no intention in future of
+corresponding with any one on the subject, with the exception of Lord
+Cumber himself, with whom I have had recent communications touching this
+matter.
+
+"I am, sir, &c, "Henry Hartley."
+
+
+Our readers are, no doubt, a good deal surprised, that Phil, knowing,
+from sad experience, the courage for which all the Hartley family were
+so remarkable, should have ventured to undertake the post of chairman,
+on an occasion where such charges were advanced against the gentleman
+in question. And, indeed, so they ought to be surprised, as upon
+the following morning no man living felt that sensation so deeply or
+painfully as did worthy Phil himself, who experienced the tortures of
+the damned. The whole secret of the matter, therefore, is, that Phil
+had lately taken to drink--to drink at all hours too--morning, noon, and
+night. In vain did his father remonstrate with him upon the subject; in
+vain did he entreat on one occasion and command on another. Phil, who
+was full of valor under certain circumstances, told his father he did
+not care a curse for him, and d--d his honor if he would allow him
+to curb him in that manner. The fact is, that Phil was at the present
+period of our tale, as corrupt and profligate a scoundrel as ever walked
+the earth. His father had no peace with him and received little else
+at his hands than contempt, abuse, and threats of being horsewhipped.
+Perhaps if our readers can remember the extermination scene at Drum Dhu,
+together with the appearance of Kate Clank, they will be disposed to
+think that the son's conduct now, was very like judicial punishment
+on the father for what his own had been. Be this as it may--on the
+following morning after the meeting at Castle Cumber, Phil's repentance,
+had it been in a good cause, ought to have raised him to the calendar.
+In truth, it rose to actual remorse.
+
+"Damn my honor, M'Clutchy"--for that was now the usual respectful tone
+of his address to him--"were you not a precious old villain to allow me
+to take the chair yesterday, when you knew what cursed fire-eaters these
+Hartleys are?"
+
+"That, Phil, comes of your drinking brandy so early in the day. The
+moment you were moved into the chair--and, by the way, I suspect
+M'Bullet had a mischievous design in it--I did everything in my power,
+that man could do, to prevent you from taking' it."
+
+It's a d----d bounce, M'Clutchy, you did no such thing, I tell you. D--n
+you altogether, I say! I would rather the devil had the whole troop, as
+he will too, with Captain M'Clutchy at the head of them--"
+
+"Don't get into insubordination, my hero," said his father; "why do you
+put me over Lord Cumber's head?"
+
+"Ay," replied the son, "when sending you-to Headquarters, you mean; yes,
+my old knave, and when he and you and the whole kit of you get there,
+you'll know then what permanent duty means. That scoundrel Hartley will
+be sending a challenge to me."
+
+"Make your mind easy, Phil," replied his virtuous father, "there is not
+the slightest danger of that; here's his reply to Armstrong, which Dick
+himself handed me in Castle Cumber, a while ago. Read that and let it
+console you."
+
+Phil accordingly read Hartley's letter, in which both he and his father
+were mentioned with such marked respect; and never did reprieve come
+to a shivering, inanimate, and hopeless felon with the hangman's noose
+neatly settled under his left ear, with a greater sense of relief than
+did this communication to him. In fact, he had reached that meanness and
+utter degradation of soul which absolutely feels comfort, and is glad to
+take refuge, in the very contempt of an enemy.
+
+"I hope you're satisfied," said his father.
+
+"All right, my old fellow--all right, Captain M'Clutchy, Magistrate and
+Grand-juror. Damn my honor, but you're a fine old cock, Val--and now
+I have spirits to take a glass of brandy, which I hadn't this whole
+morning before."
+
+"Phil," said the father, "how do you think I can ever get you appointed
+to the magistracy if you take to drink?"
+
+"Drink! why, blood, my old boy, is it this to me! Do you mean to tell me
+that there are no drunken magistrates on the bench? Drink! why, man, let
+me drink, swear, and play the devil among the ladies, surely you know
+that my thorough Protestantism and loyalty will make up for, and redeem
+all. Hey, then, for the glass of brandy, in which I'll drink your
+health, and hang me, I'll not abuse you again--unless when you deserve
+it, ha, ha, ha!"
+
+"At all events," said Val, "keep yourself steady for this day; this is
+the day, Phil, on which I will glut my long cherished vengeance against
+Brian M'Loughlin--against him and his. I shall leave them this night
+without a roof over their heads, as I said I would, and, Phil, when you
+are in possession of his property and farm, and he and his outcasts, he
+will then understand what I meant, when I told him with a boiling heart
+in Castle Cumber Fair, that his farm and mine lay snugly together."
+
+"But what will you do with the sick woman, I mean his wife?" asked Phil,
+putting a glass of brandy to his lips, and winking at his father; "what
+will you do with the sick woman, I say?"
+
+Val's face became so frightfully ghastly, and presented so startling a
+contrast between his complexion and black bushy brows, that even Phil
+himself got for a moment alarmed, and said:--
+
+"My God, father, what is the matter?"
+
+Val literally gasped, as if seeking for breath, and then putting his
+hand upon his heart, he said--
+
+"Phil, I am sick here--"
+
+"I see you are,"' said Phil, "but what is the matter, I say again? why
+are you sick?"
+
+"Vengeance, Phil; I am sick with vengeance! The moment is now near, and
+at last I have it within my clutch;" and here he extended his hand, and
+literally made a clutch at some imaginary object in the air.
+
+"Upon my honor," said Philip, "I envy you; you are a fine, consistent
+old villain."
+
+"The sick woman, Phil! By the great heavens, and by all that they
+contain--if they do contain anything--I swear, that if every individual
+of them, men and women, were at the last gasp, and within one single
+moment of death--ha! hold," said he, checking himself, "that would never
+do. Death! why death would end all their sufferings."
+
+"Oh, not all, I hope," said Phil, winking again.
+
+"No matter," resumed Val, "their sufferings in this life it would end,
+and so I should no longer be either eye-witness or ear-witness of their
+destitution and miseries. I would see them, Phil, without house or
+home--without a friend on earth--without raiment, without food--ragged,
+starved--starved out of their very virtues--despised, spat upon,
+and trampled on by all! To these, Phil, I thought to have added
+shame--shame; but we failed--we have failed."
+
+"No," replied Phil, "I give you my word, we did not."
+
+"We did, sir," said the father; "Harman and she are now reconciled, and
+this is enough for the people, who loved her. Yes, by heavens, we have
+failed." Val sat, or almost dropped on a chair as he spoke, for he had
+been pacing through the parlor until now; and putting his two hands
+over his face, he sobbed out--groaned even with agony--until the tears
+literally gushed in torrents through his fingers. "I thought to have
+added shame to all I shall make them suffer," he exclaimed; "but in that
+I am frustrated." He here naturally clenched his hands and gnashed his
+teeth, like a man in the last stage of madness.
+
+On removing his hands, too, his face, now terribly distorted out of
+its lineaments by the convulsive workings of this tremendous passion,
+presented an appearance which one might rather suppose to have been
+shaped in hell, so unnaturally savage and diabolical were all its
+outlines.
+
+Phil, who had sat down at the same time, with his face to the back of
+the chair, on which his two hands were placed, supporting his chin, kept
+his beautiful eyes, seated as he was in that graceful attitude, fixed
+upon his father with a good deal of surprise. Indeed it would be a
+difficult thing, considering their character and situation, to find
+two countenances more beautifully expressive of their respective
+dispositions. If one could conceive the existence of any such thing as a
+moral looking-glass placed between them, it might naturally be supposed
+that Val, in looking at Phil, saw himself; and that Phil in his virtuous
+father's face also saw his own. The son's face and character, however,
+had considerably the advantage over his father's. Val's presented merely
+what you felt you must hate, even to abhorrence; but the son's, that
+which you felt to be despicable besides, and yet more detestable still.
+
+"Well," said Phil, "all I can say is, that upon my honor, my worthy
+father, I don't think you shine at the pathetic. Damn it, be a man, and
+don't snivel in that manner, just like a furious drunken woman, when
+she can't get at another drunken woman who is her enemy. Surely if we
+failed, it wasn't our faults; but I think I can console you so far as
+to say we did not fail. It's not such an easy thing to suppress scandal,
+especially if it happens to be a lie, as it is in the present case."
+
+"Ah," said the father with bitterness, "it was all your fault, you
+ill-looking Bubber-lien. (*An ignorant, awkward booby.) At your age,
+your grandfather would not have had to complain of want of success."
+
+"Come, M'Clutchy--I'll not bear this--it's cursed ungenerous in you,
+when you know devilish well how successful I have been on the property."
+
+"Ay," said Val, "and what was the cause of that? Was it not merely among
+those who were under our thumb--the poor and the struggling, who fell in
+consequence of your threats, and therefore through fear of us only;
+but when higher game and vengeful purposes were in view, see what a
+miserable hand you made of it. I tell you, Phil, if I were to live
+through a whole eternity, I could never forgive M'Loughlin the triumph
+that his eye had over me in Castle Cumber Fair. I felt that he looked
+through me--that he saw as clearly into my very heart, as you would of
+a summer day into a glass beehive. My eye quailed before him--my brow
+fell; but then--well--no matter; I have him now--ho, ho, I have him
+now!"
+
+"I wonder the cars and carts are not coming before now," observed Phil,
+"to take away the furniture, and other valuables."
+
+"I am surprised myself," replied Val; "they ought certainly to have been
+here before now. Darby got clear instructions to summon them."
+
+"Perhaps they won't come," observed the other, "until--Gad, there's his
+rascally knock, at all events. Perhaps he has sent them up."
+
+"No," said Val; "I gave him positive instructions to order them here in
+the first instance."
+
+Darby now entered.
+
+"Well, Darby," said Val, who, on account of certain misgivings, treated
+the embryo gaoler with more civility than usual; "what news? How many
+cars and carts have von got?"
+
+Darby sat down and compressed his lips, blew out his cheeks, and after
+looking about the apartment for a considerable time, let out his breath
+gradually until the puff died away.
+
+"What's the matter with you, Darby?" again inquired Val.
+
+Darby went over to him, and looking seriously into his face--then
+suddenly laying down his hat--said, as he almost wrung his hands--
+
+"There's a Spy, sir, on the Estate; a Popish Spy, as sure as Idolathry
+is rank in this benighted land."
+
+"A Spy!" exclaimed Phil, "we know there is."
+
+"Be quiet, Phil--who is he, Darby?"
+
+"Why, sir, a fellow--of the name of Weasand--may Satan open a gusset
+in his own for him this day! Sure, one Counsellor Browbeater, at the
+Castle, sir--they say he's the Lord o' the Black Trot--Lord save us--
+whatever that is--"
+
+"The Back Trot, Darby--go on."
+
+"Well, sir, the Back Trot; but does that mean that he trots backwards,
+sir?"
+
+"Never mind, Darby, he'll trot anyway that will serve his own
+purposes--go on, I tell you."
+
+"Well, sir, sure some one has wrote to this Counsellor Browbeater about
+him, and what do you think, but Counsellor Browbeater has wrote to Mr.
+Lucre, and Mr. Lucre spoke to me, so that it's all the same as if the
+Castle had wrote to myself---and axed me if I knewn anything about him."
+
+"Well, what did you say?"
+
+"Why, I said I did not, and neither did I then; but may I never die in
+sin, but I think I have a clue to him now."
+
+"Well, and how is that?"
+
+"Why, sir, as I was ordhering the tenantry in wid the cars and carts
+to remove M'Loughlin's furniture, I seen this Weasand along wid Father
+Roche, and there they were--the two o' them--goin' from house to house;
+whatever they said to the people I'm sure I don't know, but, anyhow,
+hell resave--hem."
+
+"Take care, Darby," said Val, "no swearing--I fear you're but a bad
+convert."
+
+"Why, blood alive, sir," replied Darby, "sure turnin' Protestant, I
+hope, isn't to prevent me from swearin'--don't themselves swear through
+thick and thin? and, verily, some of the Parsons too, are as handy at
+it, as if they had sarved an apprenticeship to it."
+
+"Well, but about this fellow, the Spy?"
+
+"Why, sir, when I ordhered the cars the people laughed at me, and said
+they had betther autority for keepin' them, than you had for sendin'
+for them; and when I axed them who it was, they laughed till you'd think
+they'd split. I know very well it's a _Risin_ that's to be; and our
+throats will be cut by this blackguard spy, Weasand."
+
+"And so you have got no cars," said Val.
+
+"I got one," he replied, "and meetin' Lanty Gorman goin' home wid Square
+Deaker's ass--King James--or Sheemus a Cocka, as he calls him--that
+is, 'Jemmy the Cock,' in regard of the great courage he showed at the
+Boyne--I made him promise to bring him up. Lanty, sir, says the Square's
+a'most gone."
+
+"Why, is he worse?" asked Val, very coolly.
+
+"Begad, sir, sure he thinks it's the twelfth o' July; and he was always
+accustomed to get a keg of the Boyne Wather, whenever that day came
+round, to drink the loyal toasts in; and nothing would satisfy him but
+that Lanty would put the cart on Sheemus a Cocka, and bring him a keg of
+it all the way from the Boyne. Lanty to plaise him, sets off wid himself
+to St. Patrick's Well, where they make the Stations, and filled his keg
+there; and the Square, I suppose, is this moment drinkin', if he's able
+to drink, the Glorious Memory in blessed wather, may God forgive him, or
+blessed punch, for it's well known that the wather of St. Patrick's Well
+is able to consecrate the whiskey any day, glory be to God!"
+
+"Damn my honor, Darby," said Phil, "but that's queer talk from a
+Protestant, if you are one."
+
+"Och, sure aren't we all Protestant together, now?" replied Darby; "and
+sure, knowing that, where's the use of carryin' the matter too far?
+Sure, blood alive, you wouldn't have me betther than yourselves? I hope
+I know my station, gintlemen."
+
+"Ah, Darby," said Phil, "you're a neat boy, I think."
+
+"What's to be done?" asked Val; "their refusal to send their horses and
+cars must be owing to the influence of this priest Roche."
+
+"Of course it is," replied the son; "I wish to God I had the hanging
+of him; but why did you send to those blasted papists at all? sure the
+blood-hounds were your men."
+
+"Why did I, Phil? ah, my good shallow Son--ha, why did I?" he spoke in
+a low condensed whisper, "why, to sharpen my vengeance. It was my design
+to have made one papist aid in the oppression of another. Go off, Darby,
+to Castle Cumber, and let twelve or fourteen of my own corps come to
+M'Loughlin's with their horses and carts immediately;--call also to
+M'Slime's, and desire him to meet me there forthwith; and bid Hanlon and
+the other two fellows to wait outside until they shall be wanted. The
+sheriff will be at M'Loughlin's about two o'clock."
+
+After Darby had gone, Val paused for a while, then rose, and walked
+about, apparently musing and reflecting, with something of uneasiness
+and perplexity in his looks; whilst Phil unfolded the True Blue, and
+began to peruse its brilliant pages with his usual nonchalance.
+
+"Phil," said the father, "there is one thing I regret, and it is that
+I promised Solomon Harman's farm. We should, or rather you should, you
+know, have secured both--for I need not tell you that two good things
+are better than one, and as my friend Lucre knows--who, by the way, is
+about to be made a bishop of, now that he of ------ ------ has gone
+to his account. Solomon, however, having been aware of the fines they
+offered, _ex officio_, as the Law Agent, I thought the safest thing
+was to let them go snacks. If, however, we could so manage, before Lord
+Cumber's arrival, as to get him discarded, we might contrive to secure
+the other farm also. The affair of the young woman, on which I rested
+with a good deal of confidence, would, I am inclined to think, on second
+consideration, rather raise him in that profligate Lord's esteem than
+otherwise."
+
+"Why, did you not hear that he was publicly expelled from the
+congregation?" said Phil; "and as to the history of Susanna, that's all
+over the parish these two days. Her father brought the matter before the
+congregation, and so far Solomon's hypocrisy is exposed."
+
+"In that case, then," said Val, "something may be done yet. We must only
+now endeavor to impress Lord Cumber with a strong sense of what is due
+to public opinion, which would be outraged by having such a Law Agent
+on his estate. Come, leave the matter to me, and we shall turn Solomon's
+flank yet; I know he hates me, because I curtailed his pickings, by
+adopting the system of not giving leases, unless to those on whom we
+can depend. Besides, the little scoundrel has no political opinions
+whatsoever, although an Orangeman."
+
+"Come, my old cock, no hypocrisy; what political opinions have you got?"
+
+"Very strong ones, Phil."
+
+"What are they?--you hate the papists, I suppose?"
+
+"Cursed stuff, Phil; the papists are as good as other people; but still
+I hate them, Phil, because it's my interest to do so. A man that's not
+an anti-papist now is nothing, and has no chance. No, Phil, I am not
+without a political opinion, notwithstanding, and a strong one too."
+
+"What is it, then?"
+
+"Here," said he, laying his hand upon his breast, "here is my political
+opinion. Valentine M'Glutchy, Phil, is my political creed, and my
+religious one too."
+
+"After all," replied Phil, "you are a chip of the old block."
+
+"Yes, Phil; but I don't parade it to the world as he does--and there's
+the difference."
+
+"Well, thank heaven," said the son, "I have no brains for any creed; but
+I know I hate Popery and the Papists as I do the devil."
+
+"And that, Phil, is the enlightened sentiment upon which all bigotry and
+mutual hatred between creeds is based. But you, Phil, could never be
+so vexatious as a foe to Popery as I could--your very passions and
+prejudices would occasionally obstruct you even in persecution--but I--I
+can do it coolly, clearly, and upon purely philosophical principles.
+I hate M'Loughlin upon personal principles--I hate the man, not his
+religion; and here there must be passion: but in matters of religion,
+Phil, there is nothing so powerful--so destructive--so lasting--so sharp
+in persecution--and so successful, as a passionless resentment. That,
+Phil, is the abiding and imperishable resentment of churches and creeds,
+which has deluged the world with human blood."
+
+"Curse your philosophy, I don't understand it; when I hate, I hate--and
+I'm sure I hate Popery, and that's enough."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXIX.--Solomon Suffers a Little Retribution
+
+--Requests Widow Lenehan to "Wrestle" for Him--Deaker's Death-Bed--Dies
+Loyally Whistling the Boyne Water.
+
+
+The conversation had proceeded thus far, when Lanty Gorman, already
+spoken of, knocked at the door, and asked to see Mr. M'Clutchy.
+
+Val went to the hall.
+
+"Well, Lanty, what's the matter?--how is your master?"
+
+"Plaise your honor," said the lad, "I think you ought to go to him; he's
+at the last gasp, sir; if you'd see the way his face is, and his eyes."
+
+"He is worse, then?"
+
+"I don't think it's so much sickness, sir, as--"
+
+"As what?"
+
+"As the liquor, your honor; he's at the Glorious Memory, sir, till he's
+nearly off; he thinks it's the Boyne wather he's drinkin' it in, sir,
+otherwise I don't b'lieve he'd take so much of it. _Sheemus a Cocka_ and
+the cart's in the yard, sir; Darby said you wanted them."
+
+"Take _Sheemus a Cocka_ to h--l, sir," said Phil, "we don't want
+him--he's a kind of papist; take him away to h--l out of this."
+
+"I can only take him to the gates, sir; unfortunately there's no
+entrance there for a papish, Captain Phil; if we could only get him to
+turn Protestant, sir, it's himself 'ud get the warm welcome. But," he
+proceeded, addressing Val, "wouldn't it be a charity, sir, to go over
+and see the state he's in; Tom Corbet, the butler, says its a burnin'
+sin and shame to look at him, widout any one near him but that vagabone,
+Miss Fuzzle, an' he dyin', like a dog."
+
+"I shall be there immediately," replied Val. "Bring the ass home again;
+we do not want him. Now, Phil," he proceeded, "I shall ride over, to see
+how matters are going on; and in the meantime I think it would be well
+to get Hanlon, and those other two who were out with Darby for his
+protection--for the fellow pretends to be afraid, and carries arms--it
+would be as well, I say, to get two or three additional affidavits
+against this Easel prepared by my return; for we must make our case as
+firm as we can. Whether the fellow's a Popish Agent, or whether he's
+not, doesn't matter a curse. I don't think he is myself; but at all
+events it will be a strong proof in the eye of the government, that we
+are at least vigilant, active, and useful men. I will entrust his arrest
+to you, and you shall have the full credit of it at headquarters. I hope
+soon to have you on the Bench. Only I do beg, that for your own sake and
+mine, you will keep from the brandy. I have remitted the rents to Lord
+Cumber, who will soon make them fly."
+
+In a few minutes afterwards he proceeded at full speed to the edifying
+death-bed of his father.
+
+Whilst Phil is preparing the supplementary affidavits for Easel's
+arrest, which he stretched out considerably by interpolations drawn from
+his own imagination, we shall follow Darby to M'Slime's, observing,
+_en passant_, that the aforesaid Darby, as he went, might have been
+perceived to grin and chuckle, and sometimes give a short, low, abrupt
+cackle, of a nature peculiarly gratifying to himself.
+
+"Devil a _smite_ ever either of them left on any bone thrown me," he
+exclaimed. "Instead o' that they begridged me the very fees that I was
+entitled to, bad luck to them! Well no matther!" and here he shrugged and
+chuckled again, and so continued to do as he went along.
+
+As for Solomon, he felt full occasion that morning for all his
+privileges and spiritual sustainment. A few days previous, he had been
+brought before his brother Elders by Susanna's father, whose statement
+was unfortunately too plain to admit of any doubt or misapprehension on
+the subject. These respectable men--for with but another exception they
+were so--discharged their duty as became them. The process of expulsion
+was gone into, but rather with a spirit of sorrow for the failings of
+an erring and sinful fellow-creature, than with any of the dogmatic and
+fiery indignation, which, under the plea of charity for his soul, is too
+often poured upon the head of a backslider. The fact now was that the
+consequences of his crime were about to come home to him, in a manner
+which required the exhibition of all the moral courage he possessed. It
+is unnecessary to inform our readers, that he had assumed the cloak of
+hypocrisy for the purpose of merely advancing his own interests among
+a certain section of the religious world. No sooner, however, did the
+history of his expulsion and its cause become general, than all those
+religious clients, who felt themselves scandalized by his conduct,
+immediately withdrew their business out of his hands, and transferred
+it to those of others; and not only persons of a decidedly religious
+character, but also almost every one who detested hypocrisy, and loved
+to see it exposed and punished. In truth, short as the period was since
+that exposure, Solomon was both surprised and mortified at the number of
+clients and friends who deserted him.
+
+He was meditating over these things then that morning, when Widow
+Lenehan, of whom, mention has already been made, a religious woman,
+and notwithstanding her name, a member of the congregation to which he
+belonged, entered his office, accompanied by her brother.
+
+"Ah, Mrs. Lenehan, how do you do? and my friend Palmer, I hope I see you
+well!"
+
+"Pretty well, Mr. M'Slime; as well as these hard times will let us."
+
+"Hard times! true, my friend, hard times they are indeed; very
+hard--yea, even as a crushing rock to those who are severely tried.
+But affliction is good, my friends, and if it be for our soul's health,
+then, indeed, it is good to be afflicted."
+
+To this, neither Mrs. Lenehan nor her brother made any reply; and
+Solomon was left to console himself with a holy groan or two--given in
+that peculiar style which hypocrisy only can accomplish, but which
+is altogether out of the sphere, and beyond the capacity of true
+repentance.
+
+"Mr. M'Slime," said Palmer, "my sister has at present"--which was
+the fact--although Solomon did not believe it--"a more advantageous
+opportunity of investing those eight hundred pounds which the poor
+woman has scraped together, and she wishes to draw them out of the funds
+without any delay; she wishes to sell out."
+
+"Of course," said Solomon; "and, indeed, Mrs. Lenehan, I am delighted to
+hear it. How are you about to have the money invested, ma'am? Only give
+me the names of the parties, with the nature of the securities, and I
+shall have the whole matter safely managed with as little delay as may
+be."
+
+"She wishes first, Mr. M'Slime, to get the money into her own
+hands," said Palmer, "and, I believe, I may as well state that, as a
+conscientious Christian woman, she does not feel justified in availing
+herself any longer of your professional services, Mr. M'Slime."
+
+"Indeed," observed the widow, "I don't see how I could, Mr. M'Slime; I
+trust I am a Christian woman, as he says, and for a Christian woman to
+continue you, as her attorney, would be, I fear, to encourage hypocrisy
+and sin; and I feel that it would not be permitted to me to do so,
+unless I abuse my privileges."
+
+"Heigho," thought Solomon, "here am I punished, as it were, in my own
+exact phraseology; verily, the measure is returning unto me."
+
+"Well, Mrs. Lenehan, this is part of my individual dispensation--may
+it be precious to me! There is a mystery in many things, and there is a
+mystery in this; a mystery which, I trust, shall yet be cleared up, even
+so as that I shall indulge in much rejoicing when I look back upon it.
+Mr. Palmer, you, I trust, are a Christian man, and you, Mrs. Lenehan, a
+Christian woman--Now, let me ask, did you ever hear that it is possible
+for an innocent man to be condemned as though he were guilty? Oh! I
+could argue strongly on this--but that I know now is not the hour."
+
+"Well, but to business, Mr. M'Slime; my sister wants the money into her
+own hands."
+
+"And in her own hands it shall be placed, Mr. Palmer; but this, you
+are aware, cannot be done for a few days--until, at all events, I go to
+Dublin."
+
+"When will that be?" asked Palmer. "About this day week (D.V.). Term
+commences on to-morrow week, but I am generally in town a day or two
+before.
+
+"Very well, then, on this day week we shall be in town, too, and will
+call at your office about ten o'clock.
+
+"The exact hour, my dear friend--and pray be punctual--and my friend
+Palmer--my dear friend, will you confer a great, an important favor on
+me? and you, Mrs. Lenehan, for you can?"
+
+"What is it?" said Palmer. "When at family worship think of me. If I am
+what the world begins to say I am, oh! do not I require, and stand in
+need of your prayers, and most earnest supplications--yea, Mrs. Lenehan,
+even that you should wrestle for me--that I may be restored to the
+fold:--and if I am innocent--if--if--oh! why do I say if?" said he,
+turning up his eyes, and clasping his hands, whilst the tears of
+hypocrisy actually trickled down his cheeks, "but it is known--that
+precious word innocence is known? Peace be with you both!"
+
+Darby, on his arrival, found him engaged in writing at his desk, and on
+casting his eye slightly at the paper he perceived that he was drawing
+out a bill of costs.
+
+"Darby, my friend," said Solomon, after the first salutations were over,
+"when will you enter upon the duties of your new office."
+
+"Plaise God, as soon as Mr. M'Darby leaves it--which will be in a few
+days, I hope; and how are you, Mr. M'Slime?"
+
+"Tried in the furnace of affliction, nine times heated, Darby."
+
+"It's a sad thing to be accused unjustly, Mr. M'Slime," said Darby
+looking him shrewdly in the face with one eye shut; "but then it's well
+that this--this--visitation has come upon a man that has thrue religion
+to support him, as you have, under it."
+
+"Darby, my friend, there are none of us perfect--we all have our
+frailties--our precious little--ay! yes;--you know, Darby, the just man
+falleth seven times a day."
+
+Darby started, and despite of all the influence of his new creed
+exclaimed--"Blessed Saints, seven times! Arra when was this, Mr.
+M'Slime? Troth, I think, it must be in the owld pagan times long ago,
+when the people were different from what they are now."
+
+"You see, Darby, that just men, that is the Elect, have their
+privileges."
+
+"Troth, if to fall seven times a day is the privilege of a just man, I'd
+never be anything else all my life," replied Darby; "and myself wondhers
+that there's e'er an unjust man alive."
+
+"Darby, I fear that Mr. Lucre has not improved your perceptions of
+spiritual things."
+
+"Why, as to that, Mr. M'Slime, if you knew Mr. Lucre's piety as well
+as I do--however, as you say yourself, sir, it's known, or rather it's
+unknown, the piety of that gintleman."
+
+"Well, Darby, between you and me, I am just as well satisfied that
+you did not attach yourself, as I expected you would have done, to our
+congregation; for, to acknowledge a truth, Darby, which I do in all
+charity, I tell you, my friend, that they are awfully Pharisaical, and
+wretchedly deficient in a proper sense of Christian justice; I, Darby,
+am a proof of it. I mentioned to another person before, Darby, that the
+Christian devotion of an act I did, would occasion considerable risk
+to my own reputation, and you see it has done so. I shall bear all the
+blame, Darby--all shame, Darby--all opprobium, Darby, sooner than
+that precious vessel--hitherto precious, I should have said--and yet,
+perhaps, precious still--"
+
+"He is a just man, may be," said Darby. "He is, I would trust--sooner, I
+say, than that precious vessel should be broken up as unprofitable."
+
+"I suppose he is one of those vessels, sir," said Darby, "that don't
+wish to hould any wather, unless when it's mix--"
+
+"He is, or rather was, a brother Elder, Darby; but then, it mattereth
+not; I have covered his trangressions with my charity. I permit you to
+say as much among your friends in the religious world, whenever you hear
+the name of Solomon M'Slime mentioned. It is also due to myself to say
+as much."
+
+"I'm afther comin' from Mr. M'Clutchy's, sir," said Darby, "and he
+desired me to say that he hopes you'll attend at Mr. M'Loughlin's about
+two o'clock, and not to fail, as its to be a busy day wid him. The
+sheriffs to be there to put them out."
+
+"I shall not fail, Darby," replied the attorney; "but who comes here,
+riding at a rapid pace, like a messenger who bringeth good tidings?"
+
+Darby looked out, and at once recognized one of Deaker's grooms, riding
+at a smart gallop towards Solomon's house.
+
+The latter raised the window as the man approached--
+
+"Well, my friend, what is the matter?"
+
+"Sir, Mr. Deaker wishes to see you above all things; he is just dying,
+and swears he cannot depart till you come."
+
+"I shall order the car immediately," replied Solomon. "Say I shall not
+lose a moment."
+
+The man wheeled round his horse, and galloped off at even a greater
+speed than before.
+
+"Darby, my friend," said he, "I shall attend at M'Loughlin's without
+fail. Justice must be rendered, Darby; justice must be rendered to that
+wretched man and his family."
+
+Darby looked him in the face with a peculiar expression--
+
+"Yes, sir," said he; "plaise God, justice shall be rendhered as you
+say--no doubt of that."
+
+He then left the house, and ere he had proceeded a score yards, turned
+and said--
+
+"Yes, you netarnal villain--you know the justice you and M'Clutchy
+rendhered me--bad luck to you both, I pray, this day! Any how it'll soon
+come back to yez."
+
+In a few minutes Solomon was on his way, with an anxious expectation
+that he had been called upon to draw up Deaker's will.
+
+Val, on reaching his father's, heard from Tom Corbet, with a good
+deal of surprise, that Solomon had been sent for expressly. A glance,
+however, at the invalid induced him to suppose that such a message could
+proceed from nothing but the wild capricious impulses under which he
+labored. Much to his surprise also, and indeed to his mortification,
+he found before him two gentlemen, whom Deaker, who it appears had been
+conscious of his approaching dissolution, had sent for, with his
+usual shrewdness, to guard and preserve his loose property from his
+unfortunate housekeeper on the one hand, and his virtuous son Val, on
+the other. These gentlemen were his cousins, and indeed we are inclined
+to think that their presence at that precise period was, considering all
+things, rather seasonable than otherwise. They had not, however, arrived
+many minutes before Val, so that when he came, they were still in one of
+the parlors, waiting for Deaker's permission to see him. A little
+delay occurred; but the moment Val entered, with his usual privilege he
+proceeded straight to the sick room, whilst at the same moment a message
+came up to say that the other gentlemen "might come up and be d--d." The
+consequence was, that the three entered the room nearly together. Great
+was their surprise, however--at least of two of them their disgust,
+their abhorrence, on seeing, as they approached his bed-room, a
+female--Young certainly, and handsome--wrapped in a night-dress--her
+naked feet slippered, her nice flushed and her gait tottering, escaping,
+as it were, out of it.
+
+On passing them, which it was necessary she should do, she did not
+seem ashamed, but turned her eyes on them with an expression of maudlin
+resentment, that distorted her handsome but besotted features into
+something that was calculated to shock those who looked upon her. There
+she passed, a licentious homily upon an ill-spent life--upon a life
+of open, steady, and undeviating profligacy; there she passed the
+meretricious angel of his death-bed, actually chased by the presence of
+men from the delirious depravity of his dying pollutions!
+
+"There is no necessity, gentlemen," said Val, "for my making an apology
+for this shocking sight--you all know the life, in this respect, that my
+unfortunate father led."
+
+     * This, like most other scenes in the present work, is no
+     fiction.
+
+"In any case it is unprecedented," replied one of them; "but if he be so
+near death, as we apprehend, it is utterly unaccountable--it is awful."
+They then entered.
+
+Deaker was lying a little raised, with an Orange silk night-cap on his
+head, embellished with a figure of King William on horseback. Three or
+four Orange pocket-handkerchiefs, each, owing to the excellent taste of
+the designer, with a similar decoration of his Majesty in the centre,
+lay about the bed, and upon a little table that stood near his head.
+There was no apothecary's bottles visible, for it is well known that
+whatever may have been the cause of Deaker's death he died not of
+any malady known in the Pharmacopeia. In truth, he died simply of an
+over-wrought effort at reviving his departed energies, joined to a most
+loyal, but indomitable habit of drinking the Glorious Memory in brandy.
+
+"Well, Vulture," said he on seeing Val, "do you smell the death-damp
+yet, that you're here? Is the putrefaction of my filthy old carcase on
+the wind yet? Here Lanty, you imp," he said turning his eyes on the ripe
+youth as he brought in a large jug of the "Boyne"--in other words of
+St. Patrick's Well water--"I say you--you clip, do you smell the
+putrefaction of my filthy old carcase yet? eh?"
+
+"Begad, sir, it's no the pleasantest smell in the world at the present
+time; and there's a pair of big, black, thievish look in' ould Ravens,
+sittin' for the last two or three days upon the black beech, as if they
+had a suspicion of something. Tom Corbet and I have fired above a dozen
+shots at them, and blazes to the feather we can take out o' them. So
+far from that, they sit there laughin' at us. Be me sowl, it's truth,
+gentlemen."
+
+"Begone, sirra," said Val, "how dare you use such language as this to
+your master; Leave the room."
+
+Lanty rubbed his hair with his middle finger and went reluctantly out.
+
+"Ah," said Deaker, "I'm glad to see you bore, Dick Bredin--and you
+Jack--stay here till I'm in the dirt, and you'll find I have not
+forgotten either of you.--As for the Vulture there, he is very well able
+to take care of himself--he is--oh, a d----d rogue!"
+
+Deaker's face, was such a one as, perhaps, was never witnessed on a
+similar occasion, if there ever were a similar occasion. It presented
+the cadaverous aspect of the grave, lit up into the repulsive and
+unnatural animation that resulted from intoxication, and the feeble
+expiring leer of a worse passion. There was a dead but turbid glare in
+his eye; half of ice, and half of fire, as it were, which when taken in
+connection with his past life, was perfectly dreadful and appalling. If
+it was not the ruling passion strong in death, it was the ruling passion
+struggling for a divided empire with that political Protestantism which
+regulated his life, but failed to control his morals.
+
+"Here," said he, "mix me some brandy and water, or--stop, ring the bell,
+Dick Bredin."
+
+Bredin rang the bell accordingly, and in a minute or so Lanty came in.
+
+"Here, you imp, do your duty."
+
+"Haven't you enough, sir? more, I think, will do you harm."
+
+"Go to h--l, you young imp of perdition, do your duty, I say."
+
+Lanty here mixed him some brandy and water, and then held it to his
+lips.
+
+"Here," said he, "here is the Glorious, Pious, and Immortal Memory! hip,
+(hiccup) oh--ay--hip, hip, hurrah! Now, Lanty, you clip, that's one part
+of my duty done."
+
+"It is, sir," replied Lanty; "you always did your duty, Square."
+
+"Ay, but there's more to come--lay me back now, Lanty; lay me back till
+I whistle the Boyne Water."
+
+Lanty accordingly laid him back a little, and he immediately commenced
+an attempt to whistle that celebrated air by way of consolation on his
+death-bed.
+
+"He's not always settled, gentlemen," said Lanty, "and I see that one of
+his wandering fits is comin' on him now."
+
+"What is the reason," said Captain Bredin--for such was the rank of
+the person he called Dick--"why is it that there is not a physician in
+attendance?"
+
+"He would not let one of the thieves near him," replied Lanty, "for
+fraid they'd kill him."
+
+"That is true," observed Val; "he always entertained a strong antipathy
+against them, and would consult none."
+
+"Did Solomon M'Slime come?" he inquired.
+
+"Here's a foot on the stairs," said Lanty, "maybe it's he--" and Lanty
+was right, for he had scarcely spoken when the worthy attorney entered.
+
+"Solomon, you sleek, hypocritical rascal," said he, "I do not forget
+you; read that paper; you will find at the bottom of it these words,
+on one side, 'sworn before me, this'--no matter about the day--signed
+'Randal Deaker;' and on the other, 'Susanna Bamet.' Solomon, I could not
+die happily without this hit at you. Your hypocrisy is known,--ha,
+ha, ha! Come, d--n me; I never lived a hypocrite, and I won't die one.
+Lanty, you imp, the brandy."
+
+"I'll only give him a little," said the lad, looking and nodding at
+them.
+
+"Come, then, 'the Glorious, Pious, and Immortal Memory!'--hip--ah, lay
+me down--hi-p-p-p!"
+
+He now closed his eyes for some time, and it was observed that strange
+and fearful changes came over his face. Sometimes he laughed,
+and sometimes he groaned, and, indeed, no words could express the
+indescribable horror which fell upon those present, or, at least, upon
+most of them, as the stillness of the room was from time to time broken
+by the word--"damnation" pronounced in the low and hollow voice of
+approaching death.
+
+Solomon, who had glanced at the affiliating affidavit made by Susanna,
+was the first to break the silence.
+
+"In truth, my friends," said he, "I fear it is not good to be here;
+and were it not that I am anxious to witness what is rarely seen, a
+reprobate and blasphemous death-bed, I would depart even now."
+
+After some time Deaker called out--"Help me up, Lanty; here, help me up,
+you whelp."
+
+Lanty immediately did so, and aided him to sit nearly upright in the
+bed.
+
+"The tumbler, Lanty--Lanty, my lad, 'let us eat, drink, and be mer--ry,
+for to-mor--row we die;' here's the glor--, pio--, and immor--I,
+memo--, hi-p, hi-p-p! And now I swore th--at I wo--uld die whistling it,
+and by that oath I will." He then looked around, and seemed to recover
+himself a little. "Ay," he continued, "I'll do it, if I don't I'll be
+d----d! lay me down, you imp of hell; there, that will do."
+
+He then gathered his mouth and lips, as those do who whistle, and at the
+moment a long rattle of death was heard in his throat, then a shrill,
+feeble sound, like that of the wind through reeds, melancholy and
+wailing; issued from his white and gathered lips, and then was a
+silence.
+
+For some minutes it was not broken, at length M'Clutchy went over, and
+on looking into his face, and feeling his pulse and heart he announced
+the fact of his death.
+
+"Well," said Lanty, "he kept his word, at all events; he swore many a
+fearful oath, that he would die whistling the Boyne Wather, and he did:
+but, be my soul, he didn't die drinldn' it, as he thought. I must go and
+let them know in the house that he's gone.
+
+"And bring my car to the door," said Solomon, "as quickly as you can.
+Well," he proceeded, "the man is now gone, and, indeed, my friends, I
+fear that Satan is not at this moment without a companion, if he is on
+his way to his own dominions."
+
+Deaker's features at that moment presented the most extraordinary
+appearance. As he lay, there appeared evident upon them the somewhat
+comic set, which was occasioned by his attempt to whistle the Boyne
+Water. He had but one tooth in front, which now projected a little; and
+as he always whistled with his mouth twisted somewhat to the one side it
+would be difficult to witness such a striking sight. But, when to this
+we add the recollection of his life and habits, and mention the fact
+that the very act of whistling the Boyne Water brought forward in his
+face all the gross characteristics of his licentious passions, we may
+fairly admit that the face and features very faithfully represented the
+life and principles of the man who owned them.
+
+Lanty, who had gone to acquaint the servants with his death, and to get
+round Solomon's car, now came in with a pale face:--
+
+"Gentlemen," said he, "as sure as life's in me, the two black thievish
+ravens that sot on the black beech-tree these two days past, is off;
+hell resave the feather o' them's there--it's truth!--The moment the
+breath was out of his body they made back to where they came from; they
+got what they wanted, you see and it stands to reason, or what 'ud keep
+them watchin' there these three days. As for myself, be me sowl the
+first thing I'll do will be to make a severe station to St. Patrick's
+Well to get the grain o' the sin off o' me that has been committed in
+this house."
+
+Val, for years, knew his father's disposition too well to form any
+expectations whatsoever from him, and, indeed, it is but just to say
+that old Deaker took care not to allow him an opportunity of falling
+into a single misconception on the subject. As a natural consequence,
+Val hated him, and would have come long before to an open rupture with
+him, were it not that he feared to make him his enemy. He also thought
+it possible that Deaker, out of respect for his villany, might in some
+capricious moment have thought of rewarding it; and so probably he might
+have done, were it not for two traits in his character which his worthy
+father especially detested--viz., cowardice and hypocrisy.
+
+Val, on his return home, found fewer carts than he had calculated upon
+even among his blood-hounds. Orangemen, in the social and civil duties
+of life, are sterling and excellent men in general. It is only when
+brought together for the discharge of political duties, by such
+miscreants as M'Clutchy, or when met in their Lodges under the united
+influence of liquor and mad prejudices; or when banded together in fairs
+and markets under the same stimulants, and probably provoked and dared
+by masses of less open and more treacherous opponents; it is only then
+we say that their most licentious outrages were committed. Meet the
+Orangeman, however, in his field, or in his house and he will aid and
+assist you in your struggles or difficulties, as far as he can; no
+matter how widely you may differ from him in creed.
+
+The fact was that on understanding the nature of the duty Val expected
+from them--and which the reader may perceive was not an official one,
+most of them absolutely refused to come. M'Loughlin, they said, had
+given extensive employment, and circulated large sums of money annually
+in the neighborhood, and they did not see why an Absentee landlord, or
+his Agent, should wish to throw so many hands out of employment, and to
+ruin so many families. They wern't on duty now, which was a different
+thing; but they had their own opinions on the subject--they knew Captain
+Phil's conduct--and d--n them, if M'Loughlin was a Papish twenty times
+over, if they'd lend a hand in any sense to carry away his furniture.
+It was all well enough when they were drunk or on duty, but they weren't
+drunk or on duty now.
+
+Three or four cars and carts were all that Val found at home on his
+arrival there--a circumstance which, added to his recent disappointment
+touching Deaker--from whom he had, in fact, to the last, cherished
+secret expectations--inflamed his resentment against M'Loughlin almost
+beyond all conception.
+
+On leaving Constitution Cottage for M'Loughlin's, he was not a little
+surprised to see worthy Phil walking, backward, and forward on the lawn,
+accompanied by no less a personage than our friend _Raymond-na-hattha_.
+
+"Ah," said he to Phil, looking at him and Raymond, "there's a pair of
+you."
+
+"Never mind, old fellow," said Phil with a grin, "you don't know what's
+ahead--a pretty bit of goods; begad, father, Raymond's a jewel:--ah, you
+don't know her, but I do--hip, hip, old cook."
+
+"Phil," said Val, "you have been at the brandy; I see it in your eye,
+and I hear it in your speech."
+
+"Well," said Phil, "I have, and what then--that's the chat; who's
+afraid, M'Clutchy?"
+
+"Phil, Phil," said the father, "this won't do."
+
+"I say it will do, and it must do," returned the son--"but harkee, old
+cock, is Deaker, the precious, d----d yet?"
+
+"If ever man was," replied his father--"and not a penny to either of
+us, Phil; not as much as would jingle on his own lying tombstone, and a
+lying one it will be no doubt. Did you get the affidavits prepared?"
+
+"I did, but curse the rascals, I was obliged to make them drunk before
+they would consent to swear them. The truth is, I put in a lot of stuff
+out of my own head," said Phil, "and they refused to swear to it until I
+made them blind."
+
+"You must have made devilish stretches when they refused," said the
+father, "where are they now?"
+
+"Locked up in the stable loft, fast asleep," replied Phil, "and ready to
+swear."
+
+"It is well," said Val, "that we have affidavits and information enough
+for his arrest, independent of theirs. Go in, Phil, and keep yourself
+steady--Easel must be my own concern, I see that; he shall be arrested
+this day; I have everything prepared for it."
+
+"Very well," said Phil; "with all my heart--I have better game in view,"
+and he knowingly rubbed his finger along his nose as he spoke.
+
+"If you were sober," said Val, "I could have wished you to witness the
+full glut of my vengeance upon M'Loughlin, inasmuch, my excellent son,
+as it was on your account I received the insult, the injury--why, by
+h----n, he trampled upon me!--that shall never be forgiven, but which
+will this day, Phil, meet the vengeance that has been hoarded up
+here--" and, as he spoke, he placed his hand upon his heart. "The
+sheriff," he added, "and his officers are there by this time--for I do
+assure you, Phil, I will make short work of it. As for those ungrateful
+scoundrels that refused to send their cars and carts, I know how to deal
+with them; and yet, the rascals, as matters now stand between Hartley
+and us, I can't afford to turn them out of the corps."
+
+"Go ahead, I say," replied Phil; "I have better game on hands than your
+confounded corps, or your confounded popish M'Loughlins."
+
+Raymond, who walked, _pari passu_, along with him, looked at him from
+time to time and, as he did, it might be observed that his eyes flashed
+actual fire--sometimes with an appearance of terrible indignation, and
+sometimes with that of exultation and delight.
+
+Val now proceeded to execute his great mission of vengeance. As he went
+along--his heart literally beat with a sense of Satanic triumph and
+delight; his spirit became exhilarated, and all his faculties moved in a
+wild tumult of delirious enjoyment. He was at best but a slow horseman,
+but on this occasion he dashed onward with an unconscious speed that
+was quite unusual to him. At length he reached M'Loughlin's, whither the
+carts had been sent, immediately on his return from Deaker's. All there
+seemed very quiet and orderly; the usual appearance of business and
+bustle was not of course visible, for, thanks to his own malignant
+ingenuity and implacable resentment, there were many families in the
+neighborhood not only thrown out of employment, but in a state of actual
+destitution. Having knocked at the hall door, it was instantly opened
+by one of his own retainers, and without either preface or apology he
+entered the parlor. There was none there but M'Loughlin himself, Gordon
+Harvey, the excellent fellow of whom we have already spoken, and whom
+M'Loughlin, in consequence of his manly and humane character, had
+treated with kindness and respect--and Solomon M'Slime who had arrived
+only a few minutes before him.
+
+"Gentlemen," said M'Loughlin, "what have I done, that I am to thank
+you both for your kindness in honoring a ruined man with this unusual
+visit."
+
+Val gave him a long, fixed and triumphant look,--such a look as a
+savage gives his worst enemy, when he gets him beneath his knee, and
+brandishes his war-knife, before plunging it in his throat.
+
+"Indeed, my good neighbor," replied Solomon, seeing that Val did not
+speak, "I believe it is a matter of conscience on the part of my friend
+M'Clutchy here, who is about to exhibit towards you and your family
+a just specimen of Christian retribution. In my view of the matter,
+however, he is merely the instrument; for I am one, Mr. M'Loughlin, who
+believe, that in whatever we do here, we are only working out purposes
+that are shaped above."
+
+"What! when we rob the poor, oppress the distressed, strive to blacken
+the character of an innocent girl, or blast the credit of an industrious
+man, and bring him and his to ruin? Do you mean to say, that the
+scoundrel"--he looked at Val as he uttered the last word--"the scoundrel
+who does this, and ten times more than this, is working out the purposes
+of God? If you do, Sir" he continued, "carry your blasphemy elsewhere,
+for I tell you that you shall not utter it under this roof."
+
+"This roof," said Val, "in two hours hence shall be no longer yours."
+
+"I thought you pledged yourself solemnly that you would not take any
+hasty steps, in consequence of my embarrassments," said M'Loughlin; "but
+you see that I understand your character thoroughly. You are still the
+same treacherous and cowardly scoundrel that you ever were, and that
+you ever will be."
+
+"This roof," replied Val, "in an hour or two shall be no longer yours.
+You and yours shall be this night roofless, homeless, houseless. This,
+Brian M'Loughlin, is the day of my vengeance and of my triumph. Out you
+go, sir, without consideration, without pity, without mercy--aye, mercy,
+for now you are at my mercy, and shall not find it."
+
+"But my wife is ill of fever," said M'Loughlin, "and surely you are at
+all events an Irishman, and will not drag her from her sick bed--perhaps
+her bed of death?"
+
+"That act of kindness to her would be kindness to you and your family,
+Mr. M'Loughlin, and for that reason she shall go out, if she were
+to expire on the moment. No; this is the day of my vengeance and my
+triumph. Harvey," he added, "tell Jack Stuart to come to me."
+
+Harvey went out, and in a minute or two Stuart came in; a heavy-faced,
+sullen-looking villain, who strongly resembled Val himself in character,
+for he was equally cowardly and ferocious. Val met him in the hall--
+
+"Stuart," said he, "I have sent up three or four fellows--the two Boyds
+and the two Carsons--to arrest a fellow named Easel--a Spy or something
+of that kind--with orders to lodge him in goal; go up and tell them to
+bring him here first. I have my reasons for it; he has taken an interest
+in this M'Loughlin, and I wish him to witness his punishment."
+
+"Hadn't you betther put the rascal in the stocks, or give an ordher for
+it, till it's your honor's convenience to see him?"
+
+"No, no, desire them to bring him here immediately--go now, and do not
+lose a moment."
+
+On entering the parlor again, he rubbed his hands with perfect delight.
+
+"Ay," said he, "this day, M'Loughlin, I have long looked for; this day,
+this day, ha, ha, ha!"
+
+"M'Clutchy," said M'Loughlin, "I always knew you were a bad and
+black-hearted man; but that you were such a perfect devil I never knew
+till now. What, to drag out my sick wife!"
+
+"Ha! ha! ha!"
+
+"Consider that her removal now will occasion her death."
+
+"Ha! ha! ha!"
+
+"You will not do it; you could not do it. Would you kill her?"
+
+"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! M'Loughlin, this is the day of my vengeance, and my
+triumph. Ha, ha, ha!"
+
+"Friend M'Clutchy," said Solomon, "permit me for one moment to
+remonstrate--"
+
+"Permit the devil, sir," said Val, stamping on the floor with fury;
+"remonstrate! Don't you know that I have this fellow safely in my
+power?"
+
+"I do," replied Solomon, "and my remonstrance would have been, had
+you heard me, simply and humbly to suggest that you might do the
+thing---this vengeance that you speak of--in an edifying manner--or, in
+other words, in a mild and Christian spirit."
+
+"Solomon, you are after all but a poor devil," said Val; "a poor pitiful
+scoundrel, that can't understand what full, deep-seated, and lasting
+vengeance means. You are only fit to sneak, and peep, and skulk about
+after a sly, prim, sweet-faced--but I am losing my breath to speak to
+you. Gordon, is the inventory taken?"
+
+"It is, sir; Montgomery has it."
+
+"That's well, here are the carts then--ay, and here comes the sheriff.
+Now for business."
+
+"So, then, you will proceed, Mr. M'Clutchy?" said M'Loughlin.
+
+"Proceed," he replied, looking at him, as it were, with amazement;
+"proceed--ha, ha, ha!"
+
+"Truly that is unchristian mirth," observed Solomon; "I must say as
+much--even although your cause be a just cause, and one supported by
+the laws--by our blessed laws, that protect the rights of the tenant
+and landlord with equal justice and impartiality; for it is a glorious
+privilege to live under a constitution that protects the tenant from
+the malignity and oppression of the landlord or his agents. It is that,"
+said Solomon; "oh, it is that precious thing, indeed."
+
+As he spoke the words there was a slight upraising of the eyes, together
+with a side glance at M'Clutchy, which, though barely-perceptible,
+contained as much sanctified venom as could well be expressed. He had
+scarcely concluded, when the sheriff, having pulled up his gig, entered.
+
+Val, notwithstanding his excessive thirst for vengeance, could not
+avoid feeling the deepest possible mortification since his arrival
+at M'Loughlin's. There was observable in this honest fellow's bearing
+something that vexed his oppressor sorely, and which consisted in a kind
+of easy, imperturbable serenity, that no threat could disturb or ruffle.
+Nay, there appeared a kind of lurking good-humored defiance in his eye,
+which, joined to the irony of his manner, aggravated the resentment of
+M'Clutchy to the highest pitch.
+
+"This is an unpleasant visit, Mr. Graham," said M'Loughlin, when that
+official entered; "but it can't be helped."
+
+"It is unpleasant to both of us, I assure you," replied the sheriff; "on
+my part, of course, you know it is an act of duty, and, indeed, a very
+painful one, Mr. M'Loughlin."
+
+"I have experienced your civility, sir, before now," returned
+M'Loughlin, "thanks to my friends," and he eyed M'Clutchy; "and I know
+you to be incapable of an un-gentlemanly act. But you must feel it
+a distressing thing to be made, in the discharge of that duty, the
+unwilling instrument of oppression on the unfortunate."
+
+"It is quite true," said the sheriff, "and the case you speak of too
+frequently happens, as I have reason to know."
+
+"Pray, what are those carts for, Mr. M'Clutchy?" asked M'Loughlin.
+
+"To remove your furniture, sir, and all your other movable property off
+the premises. I act in this matter by the authority of the law, and Lord
+Cumber's instructions."
+
+"Dear me," said M'Loughlin, coolly, "why, you are very harsh, Mr.
+M'Clutchy; you might show a little forbearance, my good neighbor. Upon
+what authority, though, do you remove the furniture? because I did
+believe that the tenant was usually allowed fourteen days to pay up,
+before the process of an auction, and even that, you know, must take
+place on the premises, and not of them."
+
+"There has been an affidavit made, that you intend to remove suddenly,
+that is, to make what is called a moonlight flitting, Mr. M'Loughlin,
+and upon that affidavit I proceed. As I said, I have the law with me, my
+good neighbor."
+
+"Pray where did you pick up the honest man who was able to swear to my
+intentions? he surely must be a clever fellow that can make affidavit as
+to another man's thoughts--eh, Mr. M'Clutchy?"
+
+Val's glances at the man, from time to time, were baleful; but, with
+his usual tact and plausibility, he restrained his temper before the
+sheriff, lest that gentleman might imagine that he had acted from any
+other principle than a sense of duty.
+
+Harvey, who heard M'Clutchy's determination with deep regret, now
+happening to look out of the window, observed a group of persons
+approaching--one of the said group hard and fast in the grip of two of
+Val's constables; whilst, at the same time, it was quite evident, that
+despite the ignominy of the arrest, mirth was the predominant feeling
+among them, excepting only the constables. On approaching the house,
+they were soon known, and Val, to his manifest delight, recognized Mr.
+Easel as a prisoner, accompanied by Messrs. Hickman and Hartley, both of
+whom seemed to enjoy Easel's position between the two constables, as a
+very excellent subject for mirth.
+
+"Mr. M'Clutchy," said M'Loughlin, "whether is it you or I that is about
+to hold a little levee in my humble parlor to-day? But I suppose I need
+not ask. Consider yourself at home here, my good neighbor--you are now
+up, and I am down; so we must only allow you to have your way."
+
+Just then the parlor door once more opened, and the party already
+alluded to entered. Very distant and very polite were the salutations
+that passed from M'Clutchy to the party in question, which the party in
+question received, on the other hand, with a degree of good humor and
+cordiality that surprised and astounded our agent, Val, to tell the
+truth, felt rather queer; for, on comparing M'Loughlin's nonchalance
+with the significant good humor of the new comers, he was too shrewd not
+to feel that there was a bit of mystery somewhere, but in what quarter
+he could not possibly guess."
+
+"Gentlemen," said he, falling back upon his humanity, "the duties of an
+Agent are often painful, but still they must be discharged. Lord
+Cumber, I must confess, has not been well advised, to force me to
+these proceedings. Mr. M'Loughlin, I acknowledge I lost temper a while
+ago--but the fact really is, that I proceed in this matter with great
+reluctance, notwithstanding what I said. Here, however," he added,
+turning to Easel, "is a horse of a different color."
+
+On speaking, he put his hand into his pocket, and pulling out the _Hue
+and Cry_ of a certain date, read a description, and, as he advanced, he
+turned his eyes with singular sagacity and satisfaction upon the person
+and features of poor Easel.
+
+"Browbeater was right," said he; "you are here at full length in
+the _Hue and Cry_--middle size--of rather plausible carriage--brown
+hair--hazel eyes--and a very knowing look--the upper lip a good deal
+curled; which I see is the case; known to be in the possession of more
+money that ought to belong to a person in your condition--and lastly,
+before you came here you were hawking high treason in the King's County,
+in the character of a ballad-singer and vagabond. You have expended
+sums of money among the poor of this neighborhood, with no good intention
+towards the government; and the consequence is that Whiteboyism has
+increased rapidly since you came amongst us."
+
+"But on what authority do you arrest me now?"
+
+"I might arrest you at any time on suspicion; but here are affidavits,
+in which it is sworn that you are believed to be a popish spy and
+treasonable agent; and besides I have instructions from the Castle to
+take you."
+
+"But what am I to do?" asked Easel,--"I am a stranger, and known here by
+nobody, This, certainly, is not a very Irish reception, I must say, nor
+is it very creditable to the hospitality of the country. You were civil
+enough to me when you expected me to become an Orangeman."
+
+"Ah," replied Val, "that's a proof of your ability; you overreached me
+then, which is what few could have done. No--none but a master-hand like
+you could do it. Mr. M'Loughlin," he proceeded, "would you allow me a
+separate room for a few minutes? I am anxious to put some questions to
+this mischievous vagabond, privately."
+
+"With all my heart," replied the other; "go into the dining-room."
+
+"Now, you scoundrel," said Val, "that you may labor under no mistake,
+I think it fair to tell you that Browbeater and I know everything about
+you, and all the Protean shapes you have gone through for the last three
+years, in different parts of the kingdom Now listen to me, you d----d
+impostor; listen to me, I say--you have it in your power to become a
+useful man to the present government. They have revived the Spy system,
+and there is no doubt, from your acquaintance with the designs and
+proceedings of Whiteboyism, and of Popery in general, that you can
+afford very important information on the subject; if you can, your bread
+is baked for life. You know not the large, the incredible large staff of
+Spies that we have at work, and believe me, when I tell you that if you
+make the proper disclosures to me I shall recommend you in the strongest
+terms to Browbeater, who will have you placed high upon the list of
+informers--a respectable class of men, let me tell you, and extremely
+useful--so that you will be well and liberally paid for your treachery,
+I mean that treachery which has _amor patriae_ to justify it. We
+will not attempt to control your genius in any way; you can take to
+ballad-singing again, if you like, or any other patriotic line of
+serving the government which you choose. Having premised me this much,
+allow me now to ask you your real name."
+
+"For the present I must decline answering that question."
+
+"Very proper--I see you know your business: and it is not my wish that
+you should say anything to criminate yourself--certainly not. But in the
+meantime, that you may see I am not at all in the dark, I tell you that
+your name is Larry O'Trap, a decent journeyman carpenter by trade, but
+as much a painter as I am a parson."
+
+"I won't submit to a private examination," replied Easel; "examine me
+publicly--that is, before the gentlemen in the next room, and I will
+answer you to better purpose, perhaps; but I hate this hole and corner
+work."
+
+"You will give no information, then?"
+
+"I don't exactly say that--it is probable I may."
+
+"Think of it, then," said Val, "and let me tell you, there is little
+time to be lost. I shall speak to you once again before I commit
+you--that is, after I shall have punished this villain M'Loughlin,
+whom I hate as I hate hell; and mark me, you scoundrel, and reflect on
+this,--I am a man who never yet forgave an injury; therefore don't make
+me your enemy. This M'Loughlin insulted me some years ago in Castle
+Cumber, and it is that insult that I am this day revenging upon his
+head--so think of my words."
+
+"I shall think of them; I shall never forget them."
+
+"Keep this fellow in close custody," said Val to the constables, as
+they re-entered the parlor--"until the business of the day is over. Mr.
+Sheriff, it is time now that you should do your duty."
+
+"I countermand that order," said Easel. "You see, Mr. M'Clutchy," said
+the sheriff, smiling, "that here is a countermand."
+
+"Here is your rent in full, Mr. M'Clutchy," said M'Loughlin, "and lest
+notes might not prove satisfactory, as they never do to you, there it is
+in gold. You will find it right."
+
+"Well, really I am glad of this," said Val, "it would have been painful
+to me to have gone to extremities. Still there is the Ejectment to take
+place, as the leases have expired: but that, my good neighbor, will
+be merely a form. Of course you will be permitted to go in again as
+caretakers; but in the meantime we must get the furniture out, and
+receive possession in the proper way. I was angry, Mr. M'Loughlin, a
+while ago, as I said and spoke hastily--for indeed I am rather warm when
+promoting Lord Cumber's interests; God forgive him in the meantime, for
+the disagreeable duties he too frequently put to me--duties for which I
+am certain to incur the censure."
+
+"I countermand the order," repeated Easel, with a singular smile on his
+face; "and desire you, Mr. M'Loughlin, to withhold your rent."
+
+"You!" exclaimed Val, looking at him. "Yes!" he replied, walking over,
+and looking him sternly in the face.
+
+"If it were worth while to ask your name I would--but I believe I know
+it already."
+
+"Perhaps not."
+
+"Well, perhaps not; and pray what may it be?"
+
+"I will tell you, sir," replied Hartley. "This gentleman is--"
+
+"Larry O'Trap, a Spy and Whiteboy Agent," said Val, looking into the
+Hue and Cry, and again surveying Easel. "He is imposing on you, Mr.
+Hartley."
+
+"This gentleman, sir," proceeded Hartley, "is the Honorable Richard
+Topertoe, brother to the Right Honorable Lord Cumber--"
+
+"And who has the honor to present you with this communication from that
+nobleman," said Mr. Topertoe, "which contains your Dismissal from his
+Agency; and this to you, Mr. M'Slime, which also contains your Dismissal
+as his Law Agent. The authority of each of you from this moment ceases;
+and yours, my sterling, excellent, and honorable friend, from this
+moment recommences," said he, turning to Mr. Hickman. "This letter
+contains your re-appointment to the situation which you so honorably
+scorned to hold, when you found it necessary, as his Agent, to oppress
+the people. Will you be good enough, Mr. M'Loughlin, to call in Mr.
+Harman and those other people? You shall not be left in the dark, sir,"
+he proceeded, "as to the extent of our knowledge of your dishonesty,
+treachery, and persecution."
+
+"Truly, my friend M'Clutchy, it is our duty now to act a Christian part
+here. This dispensation may be ultimately for our good, if we receive it
+in a proper spirit. May He grant it!"
+
+M'Clutchy's face became the color of lead on perusing his dismissal,
+which was brief, stern, and peremptory--or as the phrase goes--short,
+sharp, and decisive. It was written by Lord Cumber's own hand, and to
+give it all due authenticity, had his seal formally attached at the
+bottom. Harman now entered, accompanied by Darby, Poll Doolin, and a
+number of those persons among the tenantry, whom M'Clutchy had robbed
+and persecuted. On looking at them, after having twice perused the
+letter of dismissal, his hands and knees trembled as if he were about to
+fall, and on attempting to fold the letter, it was visible to all that
+he could scarcely accomplish it.
+
+"Now," proceeded Mr. Topertoe, "I may as well inform you that I have
+made myself thoroughly and most intimately acquainted with your conduct
+in all its revolting phases; I have read and transmitted to my brother
+two letters which passed between you and this pious gentleman, Mr.
+M'Slime, here, upon the subject of Messrs. M'Loughlin and Harman's
+property--than which, nothing more flagitious could--in the way of
+business, or in the performance of any public duty--enter the heart of
+man. Just Heaven! a poor creature, perhaps prompted by the cravings of
+hunger, will steal some paltry matter, not worth half a crown--perhaps
+a pocket-handkerchief--and forthwith out comes justice, oh, not Justice,
+but Law in her stead, with sword in hand, and scales most iniquitously
+balanced; and, lo! the unfortunate wretch is immediately dragged to a
+prison, and transported for life to a penal colony; whilst at the same
+time, rapacious villains like you, will plunder by wholesale--will wring
+the hearts of the poor, first by your tyranny, and afterwards rob them
+in their very destitution. The unhappy, struggling widow, without a
+husband to defend her, you would oppress, because she is helpless, and
+your scoundrel son would corrupt her, were she not virtuous. You would
+intoxicate an aged man that he might, in the unguarded moments of
+inebriety, surrender a valuable lease into your keeping. You would
+not receive your rents, except in gold, or which you made the wretched
+people pay, ruinous, murderous premium, by selling it but to them from
+day to day. You--in fact have now neither time nor patience to enumerate
+your monstrous corruptions and robberies, although I know them all,
+as you shall find ere long. There is one act, however, so refined
+in diabolical depravity, so deeply narked by a spirit of cowardice,
+revenge, and cruelty, that I might almost question whether, in the lowest
+depths of hell itself, anything so damnably black and satanic could
+originate--I allude to the plan which you conceived and got executed by
+your heartless, cowardly son, aided by that old woman who stands therein
+your presence, for ruining the stainless reputation of Mr. M'Loughlin's
+only daughter."
+
+"I can prove that," said Poll, "and here I am ready and willing to do
+so."
+
+"In this, however, thank God, you have failed," he continued, "yes, in
+this, and every other act of your villainy you have been detected, and
+shall be exposed and punished before the proper tribunal. It is you,
+sir, and such scourges of the poor and industrious classes as you, who
+goad the unhappy, the destitute, and despairing people into crimes that
+are disgraceful to the country; it is you, and such as you, who force
+them, maddened by your cruelty and oppression, to fall back upon
+revenge, when they cannot find redress or justice in the laws of the
+land. Unhappily the whole kingdom is studded too thickly with such men,
+and until property in this unfortunate country is placed upon an equal
+footing between landlord and tenant--until the rights and privileges of
+him who farms and cultivates the soil, are as well protected and secured
+by law as are those of the other party, so long will there be bloodshed
+and crime. The murderer is justly abhorred, apprehended, and punished as
+he ought in the sight of God and man to be: but is there no law to reach
+unprincipled wretches like you, whose grinding rapacity, dishonesty, and
+inhumanity, furnish him with the motives and incentives to the crime
+he commits? As for you, gentlemen, and honest men as you are," he
+proceeded, addressing M'Loughlin and Harman. "you remain, of course,
+in your farms; you shall have reasonable and fair leases, and, what is
+more, your credit shall be re-established on as firm a footing as ever.
+You shall be enabled to resume your business on an ample scale, and that
+as sure as I am master of two hundred thousand pounds. And now, O'Drive,
+a word with you:--I have fully discovered your treachery to both
+M'Clutchy and M'Slime; you were a willing agent in carrying out their
+hard and heartless excesses. You were, in truth, a thorough bailiff,
+without conscience, feeling, or remorse. In no instance have you ever
+been known to plead for, or take the part of a poor man; so far from
+that, I find that you have invited and solicited their confidence,
+only--in case they did not satisfy your petty extortions--that you might
+betray them to your relentless employer, whilst, under all possible
+circumstances you fleeced them by threats, and acted the vampire on a
+small scale. You are no longer a bailiff on this estate, and I have the
+further satisfaction to assure you, that in consequence of a private
+interview I had with the new bishop, the Right Rev. Dr. Lucre,
+concerning your appointment to the situation of under goaler at Castle
+Cumber, I have succeeded in getting it cancelled; so that you are at
+liberty to carry your low knavery to the best market you can get for it.
+In all this, I am authorized by my brother, who, I trust, will soon see
+the erroneous notions which he entertains upon the subject of property,
+and his duties as landlord. You, my dear friend, Mr. Hickman--my
+friend, I say with pride, and the friend of the poor with still greater
+pride--you will have the goodness to receive from Mr. M'Clutchy and
+M'Slime all books and documents pertaining,to the estate, that are in
+their possession."
+
+"Well, be my sowl," said Darby, who was the first to break the silence
+that followed these observations; "if you were Lord Cumber himself,
+instead of his brother, I'd call that same tratement of me as purty a
+piece of ingratitude as ever came acrass me;--me that gave you most of
+the information--that sould them both, I may say--an' the letthers too
+that convicted them, are they forgotten?"
+
+"There is your friend and kindred spirit, Mr. M'Clutchy," replied Mr.
+Topertoe, "who, only that he never forgives an injury, might get you a
+secret appointment among the Castle Spies and Informers, with whom,
+or rather it would appear, with the gentleman who drills them, he has
+considerable influence. It is for such a respectable corps that your
+talents are best adapted."
+
+"Of a truth," said Solomon, "this is a turning of the tables, to use a
+somewhat vulgar adage. As for me, I know it is good to be purified in
+the furnace, and scourged with many stripes, as it is a fresh proof that
+I am cared for."
+
+Up until this moment M'Clutchy had not uttered a single syllable, but,
+as we have said, he trembled very much, his temples throbbed, and his
+brow fell. The squint in his left eye became deeper and more guilt-like.
+The revulsion of feeling, coming upon him so unexpectedly as it did, was
+dreadful, and the tumult within him quite beyond the power of language
+to describe.
+
+He merely said, and this with parched lips and slow enunciation--
+
+"Very well, Mr. Topertoe; your wishes touching the giving up of all
+documents connected with the property shall be duly complied with, as
+far as I am concerned. That, is all I choose to say just now."
+
+"And so far as I am concerned," said Solomon, "I can say that mine
+also shall be rendered up with rejoicing--with rejoicing that I have no
+further intercourse with a profligate and most unchristian landlord.
+I feel that in this thing I have cause to be rather thankful than
+otherwise."
+
+"Now, M'Clutchy," said M'Loughlin, "I could overlook all your dishonesty
+and treacherous misrepresentation of me to Lord Cumber--your attempt
+to oust us out of our farms, and to put your son and M'Slime in our
+places--your suppressing the fact, besides that we offered a thousand
+pounds apiece for a renewal--your whispering away our commercial
+reputation, and thereby bringing us in the end to ruin--all that, I say,
+I could overlook and forgive; but for your foul and cowardly attempt to
+destroy the fair fame of our spotless child--for that, sir, in which,
+thank heaven, you failed, I now say, I trust, with honest pride,
+and tell you face to face--if you had only the manliness to look in
+mine--that I feel this to be the hour of my triumph--but not of my
+vengeance, for I trust I am a Christian man."
+
+"As for me, M'Olutchy," said Harman, "really, on looking over your whole
+conduct--into which there comes not one single virtue belonging to our
+better nature--I am so filled with indignation, and a perception of the
+baseness and blackness of your heart and character, your revenge, your
+perfidy, and above all, your cowardice, that I can feel nothing for
+you but a loathing and abhorrence that really sicken me when I think of
+you."
+
+"What could you expect," observed Poll Doolin, "from the son of Kate
+Clank and villainous ould Deaker?"
+
+M'Clutchy never raised his eye, but taking up his hat, he and Solomon,
+followed soon after by Darby, took their departure in silence; Solomon
+occasionally shrugging his shoulders and throwing up his eyes, like a
+persecuted man.
+
+"There is now no further use for preserving my incognito," observed Mr.
+Topertoe, "and as you, Mr. Sheriff, have had your journey for nothing, I
+shall feel obliged if you will join these gentlemen at the Castle Cumber
+Arms to dinner, where we can have an opportunity of talking these and
+other matters over more at our leisure."
+
+"Do not expect me, sir," said Hartley, who felt that the delicacy of his
+position with regard to Lord Cumber, rendered it altogether impossible
+that he could be the guest of a man with whose brother he was likely
+soon to fight a duel.
+
+"Well," replied Topertoe, "if you cannot come I shall regret it."
+
+"It is really out of my power, I assure you," replied Hartley, as he
+bade him fare-Well.
+
+The sheriff accepted the invitation; and after shaking hands with, and
+congratulating Messrs. M'Loughlin and Harman, also took his leave. He
+had scarcely gone, when a magnificent carriage and four dashed up to
+the door, in which Topertoe, accompanied by Hickman, took his seat, and
+again drove off towards. Castle Cumber, where the said carriage only had
+arrived that morning from, the metropolis.
+
+Darby was certainly confounded by the unwelcome intelligence respecting
+the loss of the Gaolership, which was conveyed to him in such an
+unpleasant manner by Mr. Topertoe. He knew his own powers of wheedling,
+however, too well, to despair of being able, could he see Lucre, to
+replace himself as firmly as ever in his good opinion. With this purpose
+in view, he wended his way to the Glebe House, where he understood the
+newly made bishop yet was, having made arrangements to proceed the next
+morning to Dublin, in order to be consecrated. There was, therefore, no
+time to be lost, and he accordingly resolved to effect an interview
+if he could. On arriving, the servant, who was ignorant of the change
+against him which had been produced in his master's sentiments,
+instantly admitted him; and the bishop, who had expected a present
+of game from his neighbor, Lord Mountmortgage, desired him to be
+admitted--the servant having only intimated that the man was come."
+
+"How is this?" said the Prelate in a loud and angry voice; "how did you
+get in, sir?"
+
+"Plaise your Lordship," replied Darby, "I came in by the door, of
+course--an' that, your Lordship, is generally the right way; for as
+holy Scripture says," he proceeded, anxious to let his Lordship see how
+deeply he was imbued with Scriptural truth--"as holy Scripture says,
+'Verily, verily, I say unto you, he that entereth not by the door into
+the sheep-fold, but climbeth up some other way, the same is a thief
+and a robber,' Indeed, my Lord, I never knewn the consolation that's in
+Scripture antil lately, glory be to God!"
+
+The bishop looked at him with an angry and scrutinizing eye; for Darby's
+deportment, to say truth, puzzled him very much. Whether his conduct
+proceeded from audacity, or shear simplicity, he felt unable to
+determine, from anything that he could see in Darby's imperturbable
+features.
+
+"What is your business with me now? asked the prelate.
+
+"Why, your Lordship," replied Darby, "I've made out a couple of
+proserlytes, that will be a credit to our blessed Establishment, as soon
+as they're convarted. One of them, my Lord, is called Barney Butther,
+an' the other Tom Whiskey, in regard of--"
+
+"Go about your business, sir," replied the prelate, reddening with
+indignation; "begone."
+
+"I will, my Lord; only, my Lord, just before I go--about the Undher
+Gaolership?"
+
+"Your appointment to it is cancelled," replied the other, "for many
+reasons; you avoided prosecuting that wild priest."
+
+"But sure I said, my Lord, that when I'd get into my situation--"
+
+"Your appointment to it is cancelled, I repeat; the fact is, O'Drive, I
+have too much regard for your morals and the advances you have recently
+made in scriptural knowledge to place you in such a situation. It is
+only some hardened sinner, some irreclaimable knave, and not an honest
+man like you, that oughht to be appointed to such an office; the nature
+of its duties would only draw you into bad habits and corrupt your
+principles. The fact is, your very virtues and good qualities; prevent
+you from getting it--for get it, you assuredly shall not."
+
+"Is that your last detarmination, my Lord?"
+
+"My last respecting that matter," replied the prelate.
+
+"Then, upon my conscience," returned Darby, "according to that rule,
+hell resave the ha'porth of the kind there was to prevent you from bein'
+a bishop. I hear you're goin' up to Dublin to be consecrated, and be me
+sowl, you want it; but I'd take my book oath that all the grace in your
+church won't be able to consecrate you into thrue religion. The back o'
+my hand to you, I say; for I hate everything that is ungrateful."
+
+It often happens that a petty insult, coming from an unexpected source,
+excites our indignation more than an offence from a higher quarter. The
+new made prelate actually got black in the face, and giddy in the
+head, with the furious fit of passion which seized him on hearing this
+language from Darby.
+
+In the meantime, we leave him to cool as best he can, and follow Darby
+to Castle Cumber, where he thought it probable he might meet Father
+M'Cabe; nor was he mistaken. He found that very zealous gentleman
+superintending the erection of a new chapel on a site given to Father
+Roche by Mr Hartley. The priest, who knew that the other had recently
+avoided him, felt considerably surprised at seeing the bailiff approach
+him of his own free will.
+
+"Well," said he, in a voice which contained equal parts of irony and
+anger, "what do you want with me, Mr. Protestant? Ah, what a blessed
+Protestant you are! and what a hawl they made when they caught you! What
+do you want, you shuffling scoundrel?"
+
+"Troth, the grace o' God, I fear," replied Darby, humbly.
+
+"And what brings you to me then? I mean, sirra, what's your business
+now?"
+
+"Why, sir, devil a one o' me but's come jack to the ould creed. Troth,
+your Reverence, the impressions you made on me the day we had the great
+argument, was, wondherful. Be my sowl, it's yourself that can send
+home the whi--word, your Rev-a-ence, in a way that it won't aisly be
+forgotten. How-an-iver, sure hell resave the wie o me, but threwn back
+his dirty religion to Lucre--an' left him an' it--although he offered,
+if I'd remain wid them, to put Johnny Short out, and make me full
+gaoler. My Lord,' says I, 'thruth's best. I've heard both sides o'
+the argument from you and Father M'Cabe; an' be me sowl, if you were
+a bishop ten times over, you couldn't hould a candle to him at arguin'
+Scripture; neither are you the mild and forgiving Christian that he is.
+Sure I know your church well,' says I up to him. 'It's a fat church, no
+doubt; an' I'll tell you what's in it.'"
+
+"'What's that, you backslidin' vagabone?'" says he.
+
+"'Why, then, plenty of mait,' says I, 'but no salvation;' an' salvation
+to me, your Reverence, but he got black over the whole face and shullers
+wid rank passion. But sure--would your Reverence come a little more this
+way; I think the men's listenin' to us--but sure," continued Darby, in a
+low, wheedling, confidential, and friendly voice, "sure, sir, he wanted
+me to prosecute you for the religious instruction--for trath it was
+nothing else, glory be to God--that you gave me the day of the argument;
+an'---now listen, your Reverence--he offered me a bribe if I'd do it."
+
+"What bribe!"
+
+"Why, sir, he put his hand, under his apron--sure he has a black silk
+apron on him now, jist for all the world like a big man cook, dressed
+out in murnin'--he put his hand undher his apron, and wid a hitch got it
+into his breeches pocket--'here's a fifty pound note for you,' says he,
+'if you'll prosecute that wild priest--there's no end to his larnin,'
+says he, 'and I want to punish him for it; so, Darby, here's a fifty
+pound note, an' it'll be yours when the prosecution's over; and I'll
+bear all the expenses besides.'"
+
+"And what did you say to that?" asked the priest.
+
+"Troth," replied Darby, "I jist bid him considher his fifty pound note
+as waste paper--an' that Was my answer."
+
+"And there's mine, you lying, hypocritical scoundrel," said the priest,
+laying his whip across the worthy bailiff's shoulders; "you have been
+for thirty years in the parish, and no human being ever knew you to go
+to your duty--you have been a scourge on the poor---you have maligned
+and betrayed those who placed confidence in you--and the truth is, not
+a word ever comes out of your lips can be believed or trusted; when you
+have the marks of repentance and truth about you, I may listen to you,
+but not until then--begone!"
+
+"Is that your last detarmination?" said Darby.
+
+"No doubt of it," replied the priest; "my last, and I'll stick to it
+till I see you a different scoundrel from what you are."
+
+"Ay," replied Darby; "then, upon my sowl, you're all of a kidney--all
+jack fellow like--an' divil rasave the dacent creed among you, barrin'
+the Quakers, and may heaven have a hand in me, but I think I was born
+to be a Quaker, or, any way, a Methodist. I wish to God I understood
+praichin'--at aitin' the bacon and fowl I am as good a Methodist as any
+of them--but, be me sowl, as I don't understand praichin', I'll stick to
+the Quakers, for when a man praiches there, all he has to do is to say
+nothing." Having uttered these sentiments in a kind of soliloquy,
+Darby, after having given the priest a very significant look, took his
+departure.
+
+"Well," said he to himself, "if the Quakers, bad luck to them, won't
+take me, I know what I'll do--upon my conscience, I'll set up a new
+religion for myself, and sure I have as good a right to bring out a
+new religion myself, as many that done so. Who knows but I may have a
+congregation of my own yet, and troth it may aisily be as respectable
+as some o' them. But sure I can't be at a loss, for, plaise God, if all
+fails, I can go to Oxford, where I'm tould there's a manifactory of new
+religions--the Lord be praised for it!"
+
+     * Darby had better success in his speculations than perhaps
+     he ever expected to have. We need not inform the generality
+     of our readers that the sect called Darbyites were founded
+     by him, and have been called after him to the present day,
+     sometimes Darbyites, and sometimes Drivers.
+
+On returning home, Val was observed to be silent and morose. The dashing
+speed of his ride to M'Loughlin's was not usual to him, for his motions
+were generally slow; it was significant, however, of the greedy spirit
+which stimulated him to the long wished for glut of his revenge. Not
+so his return. He walked his horse as if he had been a philosopher on
+horseback; and when Phil (now quite tipsy), who expected to see him
+return with all the savage triumph of vengeance in his looks, saw
+that he was dumb, spiritless and absolutely crestfallen, and who also
+observed the symptoms we spoke of, he began naturally enough to suspect
+that something had gone wrong. His interrogations, however, were
+fruitless. Val, on his inquiring the cause of these appearances, told
+him in a petulant fit of that ill-temper which is pecular to cowards,
+"to go be hanged;" a compliment which dutiful Phil returned to his
+worthy father with interest. This was all that passed between them, with
+the single exception of an observation which fell from Phil's lips as he
+left the dinner-table, late in the evening.
+
+"I tell you what, M'Clutchy, you're a confounded ill-tempered old
+scoundrel, an-and what-what's more--o-o-over to your disgrace, a d----d
+bad, rotten, and unsound Protestant. How do you ex-expect, sir, that a
+Protestant Establishment can be sup-support-ported in this country by
+such scandalous con-conduct as this? hip, hip, hurra! Instead of-of
+being an ex-example to your son, it is your-your son, M'Clutchy, that is
+an example to you, hip, hip, hur--, and so good night to you, I'm--I'm
+on for a neat bit of business--that's all. Go to bed, you old dog."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXX.--The Mountain Grave-Yard
+
+--Dreams of a Broken Heart--The Christian Pastor at his Duty--Melancholy
+Meeting between a Mother and her Son--A Death-Bed that the Great
+might envy--Phil experiences a Specimen of the Pressure from
+without--Retribution--The Death of Valentine M'Clutchy.
+
+
+It was now about seven o'clock in the evening; and up from the moment
+of Val's return, he had scarcely spoken half a dozen words. As Phil was
+leaving the room, however, the father called after him:--
+
+"Phil," said he, "come here for a minute."
+
+"Well," said Phil, staggering back, "what's in the wind now?"
+
+"Phil," continued the father, "which of all the blood-hounds is the
+greatest and most remorseless villain?"
+
+"A d----d ni-nice point to decide, when they're on-on duty," replied
+Phil.
+
+"If he escapes me--" said Val in a soliloquy;--"but no matter," he
+added, speaking aloud; "I'm a fool for putting such a question to you.
+Go to bed, and sleep yourself sober."
+
+Phil staggered out of the room in a very musical mood, slamming' the
+door after him with a force that made the house shake. He had not gone a
+hundred yards from the hall door when Raymond appeared in the distance,
+beckoning him forward; a signal for which he was looking out with that
+kind of drunken eagerness which is incapable of forethought, or any
+calculation whatsoever that might aid in checking the gross and onward
+impulses of blind and savage appetite. Phil's instinctive cowardice,
+however, did not abandon him. In the course of the day he primed
+and loaded his pistols, in order to be prepared against any of those
+contingencies which the fears of pusillanimous men never fail to create.
+On meeting with Raymond, who had been waiting for him outside, at a
+place previously agreed on between them, he pulled, out the fire-arms,
+and showed them to the fool, with a swaggering air, which, despite his
+intoxication, sorely belied what he felt. They then proceeded together
+by the mountain path, the moon occasionally showing herself by
+glimpses--for the night, although cloudy, was not dark, but on the
+contrary, when the clouds passed away, she almost might be said to flash
+out with singular brilliancy.
+
+We now leave them on their way to the place of appointment, as it had
+been arranged by Raymond, and beg our readers to accompany us to the
+church-yard in the mountains, where all that were dear and so devotedly
+beloved by poor Mary O'Regan slept. This unhappy woman, though closely
+watched by her friends and neighbors, always contrived, with the
+ingenuity peculiar to maniacs and insane persons, to escape from time to
+time from under their surveillance, and make her way to the spot, which,
+despite the aberrations of reason and intellect, maintained all its
+sacred and most tender influences over her pure and noble heart. For
+some time past, moved probably by some unconscious impression of the
+pastoral attention and kindness of the amiable Father Roche, she had
+made his house her home; and indeed nothing could exceed the assiduity
+and care with which she was there watched and tended. Everything that
+could be done for her was done; but all sympathy and humanity on their
+part came too late. Week after week her strength wasted away, in a
+manner that was painfully perceptible to those who felt an interest in
+her. Her son Ned was still in the country, but had no fixed residence,
+and merely remained for the purpose of seeing her freed from all her
+miseries, and laid in her last unbroken sleep beside those whom she had
+loved so well. On the evening in question, she appeared to be so feeble
+and exhausted, that the good priest's family did not for a moment
+imagine that any particular vigilance was necessary. Between six and
+seven o'clock, then, she had performed the last of those pilgrimages
+of the heart which time after time had been made by her to the solitary
+church-yard in the mountains--containing, as it did, the only humble
+shrine from which her bruised and broken spirit could draw that ideal
+happiness, of which God in His mercy had not bereft her.
+
+On arriving at the old ruin, she felt so completely enfeebled, that a
+little rest was absolutely necessary previous to her reaching the graves
+she came to visit, although they were only a few yards distant from
+the spot which afforded the poor creature the requisite shelter while
+recruiting her exhausted powers. At length she arose, and having
+tottered over to the graves, she sat down, and clasping her hands about
+her knees, she rocked her body to and fro, as Irish women do when under
+the influence of strong grief. She then chaunted a verse or two of an
+old song, whose melancholy notes were not out of keeping with either the
+scene or the hour; nor an unsuitable burthen for the wild night breeze
+which wailed through the adjoining ruins in tones that might almost
+be supposed to proceed from the spirit of death itself, as it kept its
+lonely watch over those who lay beneath.
+
+"I wonder," said she, "that they do not speak to me before this,
+for they know I'm here. Ah," she proceeded, "there's his voice!--my
+white-haired Brian's voice! what is it, 'darling? I'm listenin'!
+
+"'Come, mother, come,' he says, 'we are waitin'!'
+
+"Is it for me, _a lanna dhas oge_?
+
+"'Yes,' he says, 'for you, mother dear, for you!'
+
+"Well, Brian darlin', I'll come.
+
+"'Yes, come,' he says, 'for we are wait-in'!'
+
+"And," she proceeded, "who is this again? ah, sure I needn't ax; Torley,
+my heart, I'm here!
+
+"'Come, mother dear,' he says, 'for we are waitin'!'
+
+"Is it for me, my manly son?
+
+"'Yes,' he says, 'for you, mother--mother dear, for you?'
+
+"Well, Torley darlin', I'll come.
+
+"'Yes, come,' he says, 'for we are waitin'?'
+
+"Ah," she proceeded, "here is my own Hugh, my brave husband, that I
+fought for, what does he say? Whisht!
+
+"'Come, Mary dear--come, the distracted, the lovin,' but the
+heart-broken--come to us, my fair-haired Mary, for we are waitin'; our
+hearts love you even 'in heaven, and long for you to be with us.'
+
+"Husband of my heart, I will come; and here sure I feel as you all do
+in heaven--for there is one thing that nothing can kill, and will never
+die, that is the light that's in a lovin' wife's heart--the light that
+shines in a mother's love--Hugh, _asthore machree_, I'll come, for sure
+I'm jist ready.
+
+"You are not sick now, Brian," she proceeded; "it isn't the cowld
+pratee, and the black sickenin' bog water you have there!
+
+"'No, mother dear,' he said, 'but we want you; oh, don't stay away from
+us, for our hearts long for you.'
+
+"I will come, avillish--sure I'm jist ready. Torley," she proceeded,
+sustaining a dialogue that proceeded, as it were, out of the accumulated
+affection of a heart whose tenderness shed its light where that of
+reason failed,--"Torley, my manly son, your young cheek is not pale
+now, nor your eye dim--you don't fear the hard-hearted. Agent, nor his
+bloodhounds, nor the cowld and bitther storm that beat upon your poor
+head, an' you dyin'--you don't fear them now, my brave boy--you neither
+feel nor fear any of these things now, Torley, my son!
+
+"'No mother,' he says 'all we want now is to have you wid us. Our hearts
+long for you, and why do you stay away from us?--Oh! come mother dear,
+for we're waitin'!'
+
+"Torley, my manly son, I'll come, for I'm jist ready.
+
+"Hugh, husband of my heart, you're not now lyin' sick upon the damp
+cowld straw, as you war in the cabin on the mountains--your head has no
+pain now, avick machree--nor is your heart low and sorrowful wid your
+own illness and our want.--The voices of the Dashers, or Blood-hounds,
+aren't now in your ears, nor need you be afraid that they will disturb
+your bed of death--an' distract your poor sowl wid their blasphemin',
+when you ought to think of God's mercy.--Oh! no, avillish, sure you feel
+none of that now, Hugh dear?
+
+"'Oh, no,' he says, 'nothing of that do we feel now--nothing of that do
+we fear. But, come, Mary, oh, come, come to us--and we think the time
+long till we see you again.'"
+
+These affecting dialogues, or rather "dreams of a broken heart," were
+literally nothing else than the mere echoes of her own afliction; for
+it was obvious that the love she felt for her husband and children,
+unconscious as she then was of it, gave form to the sentiments which
+her excited imagination had clothed in language that was so highly
+figurative. For some time she was silent, or muttered to herself such
+fragments of unconnected language as rose to her fancy--and ultimately
+laid down her head upon the little grassy mound which constituted their
+graves. Here she had not lain long, when, overcome by the fatigue of
+the journey, she closed her eyes, and despite the chilliness of a biting
+night, sank into an unbroken slumber.
+
+Sleep on, poor sufferer--and let those whose crimes have placed thy
+distracted head upon that cold and unnatural pillow, reflect that they
+have a judge to meet, who will, in another life, not overlook the deeds
+done in this. Who is there who would, even in this thy most pitiable
+destitution, exchange thy innocent, but suffering spirit, for
+M'Clutchy's heart, or the dark crimes which it festers.
+
+At length she awoke, but whether it was that the keen and piercing air
+had cooled the pulsation of her beating brain, or that the restoration
+to reason, which is called, when applied to the insane--a lightening
+before death--had taken place, it is impossible to say with anything
+like certainty. At all events, on awakening, the first sensations she
+experienced were those of surprise and wonder, and immediately did she
+feel her mind filled with a train of shocking and fearful reminiscences.
+Her physical sufferings were also great. She felt benumbed and chilled;
+her heart was cold, and a shivering sickness ran through her whole
+frame, with a deadly presage of approaching dissolution. She looked up
+to the sky, then round her at the graves, and in a moment recognized the
+burying-place of her husband and children. All the circumstances then
+connected with the Extermination scene at Drum Dim, and that of the
+treble death in the mountains, rushed upon her recollection with a force
+at once vivid and powerful.
+
+"Father of heaven,"* she exclaimed, "I have been driven out of my raison
+by too much sorrow, and here I am restored to it on the very graves
+where those that I love!"
+
+     * The reader is to remember, that she is supposed to give
+     utterance to all her feelings and sentiments in the Irish
+     language.
+
+She then endeavored to rise, but found on making the attempt, that she
+had not strength for it. The consciousness of this filled her heart with
+woe almost unutterable.
+
+"Merciful father," she again exclaimed, "do not--oh, do not suffer me
+to die on this wild mountain side, far from the face or voice of a
+human being! There is nothing too powerful for your hand, or beyond your
+strength or your mercy, to them that put their humble trust in you. Save
+me, oh, God, from this frightful and lonely death, and do not let
+me perish here without the consolations of religion! But if it's thy
+blessed and holy will to let me do so, then it is my duty to submit!
+Give me strength, then, to bow to thy will, and to receive with faith
+and thanksgivin' whatever you choose to bestow upon me! And above all
+things O Lord, grant me a repentant heart, and that my bleak and lonely
+death-bad may have the light of glory upon it! Grant me this, O God, and
+I will die happy even here; for where your blessed presence is there can
+be nothing wantin'."
+
+Her piety and faith in the mercy of God were not without their own
+reward. The last words were scarcely uttered, when Father Roche,
+accompanied by her son Ned, advanced to the grave on which she sat. He
+had been absent on a sick call, and would not have been aware of her
+escape to the mountains, were it not for her son, who, having met him on
+his return, requested permission to see her, only for a few minutes, if
+not too late. The priest granted him so reasonable a request, and it
+was on seeking for her that the discovery of her absence took place, the
+rest of the family having been of opinion that she had gone to bed
+in the early part of the evening, as was mostly her habit. The priest
+suspected, from her weak state of health and shattered constitution,
+that such a journey would probably prove fatal, and with his usual
+discrimination he calculated upon the restoration to reason which
+actually occurred.
+
+"In that case," said he, "the administration of the last rites will
+console her on her bed of death, and God forbid that she should depart
+without them. It is my duty that she shall not."
+
+"Poor woman!" said he, as they approached her, "this chilly night will
+be a severe trial upon her."
+
+"What wouldn't I give, my dear mother,--oh, what wouldn't I give," said
+Ned, tenderly taking her hand, "to see your senses restored to you!"
+
+"Thank the Almighty, then!" she returned feebly--"what!--my darling
+son Ned! and Father Roche! Oh, was I not right in sayin' that there is
+nothing too powerful for God's strength and love?" she exclaimed; she
+then kissed her son, who burst into tears, and tenderly embraced her.
+
+"See how unexpectedly He can surround even this cowld death-bed with his
+mercy."
+
+"Don't say a death-bed", my dear mother, for now that the blight of
+raison has left you, I hope you'll get new strength."
+
+"I will," she replied, with a feeble but Mournful smile, "I will Ned;
+but it'll be in heaven with them I love, and that love me. My dear Ned,
+all my cares are now over--my affections past--I will soon be out of
+sorrow and out of pain: this heart will suffer no more, and this head
+will no longer be distracted! Oh, the hopes of heaven, but they're sweet
+and consolin' on the bed of death!"
+
+"Cherish them, dear Mary," said Father Roche; "for I believe you will
+soon--very soon indeed--realize them. Her pulse," he added, "is scarcely
+perceptible, and you hear how very feeble her voice is."
+
+"What are we to do, then?" asked her son; "do you think, my dear mother,
+that you could bear removal?"
+
+"No--ah, no,"--she replied, "No--I feel that I am going fast--my feet
+and limbs are like marble, and the cowld is gettin' into my heart."
+
+"Ah, my darling mother," said the son, in tears, "but that was the warm
+and the lovin' heart!"
+
+Father Roche then having put on his stole, went to her side, and, as
+is usual in all cases of approaching death, where a priest is in
+attendance, administered to her the last rites of religion. Here in the
+mountain solitude did he cheer her departing spirit, as he had that of
+her husband, with the sustaining hopes of a glorious immortality.
+
+"Now," said she, "I know that I die happy; for here where I couldn't
+expect it, has the light of God's mercy shone upon me. He has brought my
+son to my side--He has brought the consolations of religion to my heart,
+when I was lyin' helpless and alone in this mountain desert. Yes," she
+said, "I forgive all those who ill-treated both me and mine--and the
+worst I wish them is, to pray that God may forgive them, and turn their
+hearts. And now, Hugh, I am ready--Tor-ey, my manly son, and my own
+Brian, with the fair locks, we'll soon be all united again--and never to
+part any more--never to part anymore! Ned," said she, "kiss me; you are
+all I now lave behind me out of my fine family; but God's will be
+done! I need not bid you," she added, "to bury me here, for I know you
+will--and I wish you would put little Brian's coffin on mine, in order
+that my darling child may sleep where I'd have him sleep, until the
+Resurrection Day--that is, upon this lovin' mother's breast. But what is
+this?" she asked; "is there a light--a bright light--about me? I feel
+happy--happy. Oh sure this is the love of God that is to recompense me
+for all!"
+
+Ned, who had her in his arms, felt her head fall down, and on looking at
+her, he perceived that she had actually passed away into the happiness
+of God's love, which, no doubt, diffused its radiance through her spirit
+that was now made perfect.
+
+"Yes," said Father Roche, wiping his eyes, "a pure and noble spirit has
+indeed passed from a life of great trial and crushing, calamity into one
+of glory and immortality. There is a proof, and a consoling proof,
+of the lustre which so often irradiates the death-beds of the humble
+classes in Ireland, who die far from the knowledge and notice of the
+great, whom their toil probably goes to support."
+
+"Yes," replied Ned, bitterly; "it's an aisy thing for Lord Cumber to
+know what's either good or bad upon his estate--how the people live, or
+how they die--very aisy, indeed, for a man who never puts a foot on it,
+but leaves them to the mercy of such villains as M'Clutchy. Had he been
+livin' on his property, or looked afther it as he ought to do, I don't
+think it's lyin' stretched, far from house or habitation, that you would
+be this night, my blessed mother--my poor father, and your childre cut
+down by persecution, and yourself, without house or home, runnin' an'
+unhappy, deranged creature about the country, and now lyin' there widout
+a roof to cover your poor remains."
+
+"Do not say so," replied Father Roche; "she shall be waked in my house,
+and buried at my expense."
+
+"If you'll allow her to be waked there, I will thank you, Father Eoche;
+but the expenses of her burial, I am myself able to pay; and so long
+as I am, you know, I could not suffer any one else to intherfare; many
+thanks to you, sir, in the meantime."
+
+"Well then," said the priest, "as I know and understand the feeling, I
+shall not press the matter; but since the body cannot be left without
+protection, I think you had better go down, and fetch a few neighbors
+with a door, and let her be removed forthwith. I shall remain till you
+return."
+
+"It's a very hard thing, Father Roche, that you should be put to sich a
+duty," replied O'Regan; "but the truth is, I wouldn't take all the money
+in the King's exchequer, and remain here by myself."
+
+"But I have no such fears," said the priest; "I shall stay within the
+shelter of this old ruin until your return, which will be as quick, I
+trust, as possible."
+
+O'Regan was about to start off at the top of his speed; and Father Roche
+began to walk to and fro the old ruin, struck by the pale moonlight, as
+it fell through the gray stone windows, loopholes, and breaches of
+the walls, lighting up some old remnant of human ambition, or perhaps
+exposing a grinning skull, bleached by time and the elements into that
+pale white, which is perhaps the most ghastly exponent of death and
+the dead. At this moment, however, they were each in no small
+degree startled by the sound of human voices; and, to complete their
+astonishment, two figures approached the humble grave on which the dead
+body of Mary O'Regan lay stretched. On turning towards the moon they
+were both immediately recognized by the priest and O'Regan, who looked
+on in silence and wonder, and waited to hear, if possible, the object of
+their visit.
+
+"I say again," said Phil, "I say my jolly ph-foolosophy--eh
+foolosopher--that is to say, you deal in foolosophy--an ex-excellent
+trade for a fool--I say again, you have brought me the wrong way, or
+misled me somehow--upon my honor and reputation, Rimon, I rather
+think you're short of sense, my man. Come, I say, let us be off home
+again--what the devil did you bring me to a church-yard for?--eh?"
+
+"Whisht," said Raymond, "let us see--who have we here? Ah," said he,
+stooping down and feeling the chill of death upon her features, "it is
+Mary O'Regan, and she's dead--dead!"
+
+"Dead," exclaimed Phil, starting, "curse you, Rimon, let us be off at
+full speed, I say--Gad, I'm in a nice pickle; and these pistols are of
+no use against any confounded ghost."
+
+On hearing that Phil carried pistols, O'Regan started, and had it been
+daylight, a fierce but exulting fire might have been seen to kindle in
+his eyes.
+
+"What can have brought them here?" asked Father Roche; "I cannot
+understand their visit at such an hour to such a place as this."
+
+"A few minutes, sir, will make all clear, maybe."
+
+"And what brought poor Mary here to die, do you know?" inquired Raymond;
+"no you don't," he replied, "but I will tell you--she came to die near
+poor White-head that she loved so much, and near Torley, and near poor
+Hugh himself, that the bloodhounds--"
+
+"Damn my honor, Rimon, if I can stand this any longer--I'm off."
+
+"Hould!" said Raymond, with a shout whose echoes rang through the ruins;
+"you musn't go till you hear me out," and on uttering the words he
+gripped him by the arm, and led him over to the dead body.
+
+"I'm goin' to tell you myself," proceeded Raymond; "she came to die here
+that she might be near them--do you onderstand?" and he involuntarily
+pressed the arm he still held with his huge iron finger, until Phil told
+him he could not bear the pain. "She came to die here that she mightn't
+have far to go to them; for you don't know, maybe, that it's on their
+grave she is now lyin':--ha, ha; that's one. DID YOU EVER SEE A MURDERED
+WOMAN, CAPTAIN PHIL?"
+
+"Never," replied Phil, who stood passive in his grip.
+
+"Ha, ha, ha," he chuckled, "that's not a good one. Well, but, did you
+ever see a murdherer?"
+
+"Some o' the blood-hounds pinked fellows, I believe, but then they were
+only rebels and Pap-papishes."
+
+"Ha, ha," still chuckled Raymond, as he confronted himself by degrees
+with Phil, "I swore it for poor White-head's sake--and for Mary
+M'Loughlin's sake--an' for twenty sakes besides."
+
+"God! Rimon, what do you mean?" said Phil, "there's a dreadful look
+in your eyes Rimon, you are an excellent fellow; but tell me what you
+mean?"
+
+"To show you a murdherer," he replied; "and now I have one by the
+throat!"
+
+As he spoke, he clutched him by the neck with a grasp that might
+strangle a tiger. Then, as before in O'Regan's sheeling, all the fury of
+the savage came upon him; his eyes blazed fearfully--the white froth of
+passion, or rather of madness, appeared upon his lips, and his bowlings
+resembled the roaring of some beast of prey, while tearing up its
+quivering victim in the furious agonies of protracted hunger. In a
+moment Phil was down, and truly the comparison of the beast of prey, and
+his struggling victim, is probably the most appropriate that could be
+made; when we consider the position of the one writhing helplessly upon
+the ground, and the other howling in all the insatiable wildness of
+bloodthirsty triumph over him. So hard and desperate indeed was the tug
+for life, and so deadly was the immediate sense of suffocation becoming,
+that Phil, whose eyes were already blinded, and who was only able to
+utter a low hoarse gurgle, which sounded like the death-rattle in his
+throat, was utterly unable either to think of or to use his fire-arms.
+The onset, too, was so quick, that neither Father Roche nor O'Regan had
+time to render assistance.
+
+"Great heaven," exclaimed the priest, "is the young man, bad and wicked
+as he is, to be murdered before our eyes by that gigantic idiot!"
+
+He proceeded to the spot just when Raymond was about to repeat, in
+reality, the imaginary scene with the pillow.
+
+"Ho, ho," he shouted, "give us betther measure--a little more of
+it--the same tongue never was your own friend, nor the friend of any one
+else--ha, ha,--ho, ho, ho. There, that's one--take it out o' that, will
+you?--whoo, hoo--hello, hach, ach!--This for White-head, and this for
+Mary M'----"
+
+"What's this, Raymond?" said Father Roche, gently laying his hand upon
+his huge arm, the muscles of which, now strung into almost superhuman
+strength, felt as hard as oak. "Stop, Raymond," he proceeded, "would you
+like that work yourself, my good boy?"
+
+"Father Roche!" said Raymond, relaxing his hold more from surprise than
+anything else.
+
+"If you will take your hand from his throat, Raymond, my good boy,
+I will tell you where you will get a cock that no other bird in the
+country could have a chance with. There's a good boy--let him go. Follow
+me over here, and leave him."
+
+"A cock that cannot be beat?" exclaimed Raymond, starting at once to his
+feet, "no, but will you?"
+
+"I will tell you where he is," said the priest, "but do not harm him
+more," pointing to Phil,--"I only trust in God that it is not too late."
+He stooped to examine Phil's countenance, and indeed the sight was as
+strongly calculated to excite mirth as disgust. There he lay, his foul
+tongue projecting out of his mouth, which was open and gasped for wind;
+his huge goggle eyes, too, had their revolting squint heightened by
+terror into an expression very like that assumed by a clown when he
+squints and makes faces at the audience, whilst his whole countenance
+was nearly black from excess of blood, and the veins about his forehead
+and temples stood out swollen as if filled with ink.
+
+"Aye, you may look at him," said Raymond--"he is apurty boy now,
+countin' the stars there. A beauty you were, a beauty you are, and so I
+leave you!"
+
+"Come over," said Father Roche to O'Regan, "and see if you can render
+him any assistance. You are stronger."
+
+"Would he know me, do you think?" said O'Regan before he went over.
+
+"At present, certainly not," replied Father Roche; "but he is breathing,
+and in about eight or ten minutes I hope he will probably recover."
+
+O'Regan went over, loosed his cravat, and stayed with him a few moments,
+after which he returned to Raymond and the priest, who were now in the
+ruin.
+
+"I think he will be well enough shortly," he observed, "but the truth
+is, Raymond, that he wasn't worth your vengeance. I will now go and
+fetch a few of the neighbors to assist in bringing my poor mother down
+from this lonely spot, that she may at least have a Christian roof over
+her."
+
+He accordingly departed, and Father Roche in a few minutes had Phil's
+mind completely disentangled from the train of dark thoughts and
+affectionate impulses by which it had been for some time past
+alternately influenced.
+
+"Raymond," said the priest, "how could you think of committing such a
+frightful act as murder?"
+
+"Ha, ha!" he replied, "sure i'twas when I thought of Mary M'Loughlin and
+poor White-head."
+
+"And how did it happen that, of all places in the world, you both came
+here?"
+
+"Becaise White-head and the rest are here. Sure he thought he was comin'
+to a poor creature upon no good, and when he was drunk it was aisey to
+bring him anywhere--ha, ha! that's one too--for I--can manage him."
+
+"I thank the Almighty Father," ejaculated the priest, "that I was able
+to prevent another murder this night--for most assuredly, Raymond, you
+would have taken his life."
+
+"Ho, ho!" exclaimed the fool, with a little of his former ferocity,
+"sure it was for that I brought him here--aye, aye, nothin' else."
+
+"Well, while you live," continued the old man, "never attempt to have
+the blood of a fellow creature on your soul. I must go over and see how
+he feels--I perceive he is able to sit up. Young man," he proceeded,
+addressing Phil, "I render God thanks that I have been instrumental in
+saving your life this night."
+
+"That's more than I know," replied this grateful youth; "I neither saw
+nor heard you, if you were."
+
+"It matters not," replied the other, "let me assist you to rise."
+
+"I can rise myself now," said he, getting up and staggering; "I'll
+transport you and that d----d savage, Rimon the hatter. You are a
+po-popish priest, and you cannot be he-here at this time of night for
+much good. Never fear but I'll make you give an account of yourself, my
+old buck."
+
+The, reader is already aware that Phil had been far advanced in
+intoxication previously; but when we take into account the fearful
+throttling he received, and the immense rush of blood which must have
+taken place to the brain, we need not be surprised that he should
+relapse into the former symptoms of his intoxication, or, in other
+words, that its influence should be revived in him, in consequence of
+the treatment he received.
+
+"I think," continued Phil, "that I have got you and Rimon in my power
+now, and damn my hon-honor, may be we won't give you a chase a-across
+the country that'll put mettle into your heels; hip, hip, hurrah! Ay,
+and may be we won't give big M'--M'Cabe, or M'Flail, a ran that will do
+him good too, hip, hip--so good--good-night till I see you-you just as
+you ought to be--knitting your stock-cooking like Biddy O'Doherty; hip!"
+
+He then staggered on homewards, half stupid from the strangulation
+scene, and very far removed from sobriety, in consequence of the copious
+libations of brandy he had swallowed in the course of the day and
+evening.
+
+"Good night, Captain Phil," cried Raymond after him; "when will you come
+to the hills to meet Bet M'Cracken again?--Ha ha there now, that's one."
+
+"Poor infatuated young man," exclaimed Father Roche; "if you were not so
+completely an object of contempt, you would surely be one of compassion.
+May God in his mercy pity and relieve the unfortunate people whose
+destinies, domestic comforts, and general happiness, are to such an
+extent in the keeping of men like you and your wretched father--men who
+breathe an atmosphere rank with prejudices of the worst description, and
+hot with a spirit of persecution that is as free from just policy as
+it is from common sense! When will this mad spirit of discord between
+Christians--mad, I call it, whether it poison religion, politics, or
+inflame religion--be banished by mutual charity, and true liberty, from
+our unhappy country? and when will the rulers of that country learn
+that most important secret, how to promote the happiness of the people
+without degradation on the one hand, or insolent triumph on the other?"
+
+O'Regan's return with the neighbors from the lower country, was
+somewhat, and yet not much, more protracted than Father Roche had
+expected. Considering everything, however, there was little time lost,
+for he had brought about a dozen and a half of the villagers with him.
+Having reached the cold bed where she lay, and where all her affections
+had dwelt, they placed her upon a door, and having covered her body with
+a cloak brought for the purpose, the little solitary procession directed
+their steps to that humble roof which had been, ever since Father
+Roche occupied it, a sheltering one to destitution, and poverty, and
+repentance.
+
+As they began to move away, O'Regan said--
+
+"Excuse me for a few minutes--I wish to go back to the spot where my
+father and brothers sleep; that surely is but natural, and I will soon
+overtake you."
+
+They then proceeded, and he remained at the graves of his relatives. He
+stood over them in silence for many minutes, keeping his face covered
+with his hands. At length he knelt down and sobbed out aloud.
+
+"Father," said he, "I have fulfilled my oath--Torley, I have fulfilled
+my oath--Brian, my sweet and fair-haired child--your brother, when none
+was left to do you justice but myself, has fulfilled his oath. Listen to
+me and rest quiet in your, graves. The oppressor is no more--the scourge
+of the poor--the persecutor--the robber that trampled upon all law--that
+laughed at justice--that gave vent to his bad passions, because he knew
+that there was neither law, nor justice in the country to protect people
+like you or to punish himself;--that oppressor--that scourge of the
+poor--that persecutor--that robber, is this night sent to his account by
+my hand--for by no other had such a right to fall.--Sleep quiet and
+contented in your graves my father--and Torley and poor Brian! As we had
+no law for us in this country--I was his law--I was his justice--and so
+may God prosper me, if there is not a heavy load taken off of my heart
+by the fate that has come on the villain by my hand!"
+
+He spoke these words m tears and deep sobs after which he composed
+himself, so that he might appear in his usual mood, that of simple
+grief, on rejoining his companions.
+
+The morning of the following day, the town, and neighborhood of Castle
+Cumber were in a state of extraordinary excitement and tumult.
+
+"Valentine M'Clutchy, Esq.," said the True Blue, "the excellent and
+humane Agent of the Castle Cumber property, was most barbarously shot
+dead in his parlor, about ten o'clock on the previous night. By this
+diabolical act, the poor of that admirably managed property," continued
+his brother Orangeman, "have lost, &c, &c."
+
+But it is really sickening to read these unprincipled vindications of
+the scoundrels who drive the people into crime and bloodshed by their
+rack-renting and oppression. It is time that honest men should speak
+out, and fasten upon these scourges of their country, their proper
+appellative. To this murder, as to others of a similar character, there
+never was any clew found; notwithstanding the large rewards that were
+subscribed by the gentry of the county and by government. Phil was too
+drunk the evening before to remember anything distinctly. His pistols
+were never found, nor was any other discovery made which could fasten
+even suspicion on any particular individual.
+
+If Phil, however, were drunk the night before his father's death, he was
+sober enough the night after it. On that night there was not a hill
+head on all the Castle Cumber estate which had not its bonfire and
+its rejoicing--for the re-appointment of Mr. Hickman to the agency. It
+might, however, be observed in-general--and it is frightful to be
+forced to record such a surfeit of things--that the tenantry, one and
+all appeared to feel a singular complacency of temper on the occasion--a
+strong sense as it were, of great relief--a revival of good spirits--a
+cherishing of rational hope--associated with dreams of domestic comfort,
+reasonable indulgence, sympathy, and common justice.
+
+[Illustration: PAGE 355-- Such was the end of Valentine M'Clutchy]
+
+Such was the end of Valentine M'Clutchy--and as we have only one other
+fact in connection with him to record, we may as well record it here. On
+the morning after his death, his mother, Kate Clank, was found dead on
+the steps of Castle Cumber gaol, whither, it would seem, she had come,
+as if from a principle of early recollection, to the spot where she had
+first drawn her breath in innocence; and who can tell, or will any one
+dare to say, that she died in guilt, or unforgiven? That is only known
+to God, by whom she was to be judged.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXI.--Richard Topertoe and his Brother
+
+--Lord Cumber's Duel--Shot by Hartley--Dies in the Vindication of a
+tyrannical Principle--Marriage of Harman and Mary O'Loughlin--Solomon
+struck off the roll--Handsome Compliment to the Judge--Solomon's
+Death--Dances the Swaggering Jig--Lucre's Virtues and Christian Death.
+
+
+The Honorable Richard Alexander Topertoe, for he was sometimes called
+the one and sometimes the other, but most frequently Richard, had been
+for several years on the continent, where he found it more economical
+to reside than at home. A circumstance connected with a gambling debt of
+his brother's; communicated by a friend, brought him suddenly to London,
+where he arrived in time to save his brother's reputation and fortune,
+and most probably his life, for Lord Cumber, be it known, was very
+nearly what is termed a professed duelist. Having succeeded in saving
+his brother from being fleeced by a crew of aristocratic black-legs,
+and thereby rendered an appeal to the duello unnecessary, he happened to
+become acquainted with a very wealthy merchant, whose daughter, in the
+course of a few months, he wooed and won. The thing in fact is common,
+and has nothing at all of romance in it. She had wealth and beauty;
+he had some title. The father, who passed off to a different
+counting-house, about a couple of months after their marriage, left him
+and her to the enjoyment of an immense property in the Funds; and
+sooth to say, it could not have got into better hands. She was made
+the Honorable Mrs. Richard Topertoe, and if a cultivated understanding,
+joined to an excellent and humane heart, deserved a title, in her person
+they did. After his arrival in London he had several conversations with
+his brother, whose notions with regard to property he found to be of the
+cool, aristocratic, and contemptuous school; that is to say, he did not
+feel himself bound to neglect the pleasures and enjoyments of life, and
+to look after his tenants. It was enough that he received their rents,
+and paid a sensible Agent to collect them. What more could he do? Was he
+to become their slave?
+
+Richard, who now felt quite anxious to witness the management of his
+brother's estate--if only for the purpose of correcting his bad logic
+upon the subject of property, came over incognito to the metropolis,
+accompanied by his wife; and it was to his brother, under the
+good-humored sobriquet of Spinageberd, that he addressed the letters
+recorded in these volumes. He also had a better object in view, which
+was to purchase property in the country, and to reside on it. That
+he did not succeed in rooting out of Lord Cumber's mind his senseless
+prejudices with respect to the duties of a landlord, was unfortunately
+none of his fault. All that man could do, by reasoning, illustration,
+and remonstrance, he did; but in vain; the old absurd principle of the
+landlord's claims upon his tenantry, Lord Cumber neither could nor would
+give up; and having made these necessary observations, we proceed with
+our narrative.
+
+Better than a week had now elapsed; M'Clutchy had been interred with
+great pomp--all the Orangemen of the neighboring districts having
+attended "his honored and lamented remains" to the grave, each dressed
+in his appropriate Orange costume. The provincial chaplain, remarkable
+for singing his own songs, had been engaged to preach his funeral
+sermon, which he did with a force of eloquence and pathos that literally
+brought the tears of those who were acquainted with Val's virtues down
+their cheeks--but of none else. He dwelt with particular severity upon
+those who had kindled bonfires, and hung his respectable son, "our
+esteemed brother, Captain Phil, in effigy; whilst the sacred remains of
+that father whom he loved so well, and who so well deserved his
+love, and the love of all who had the pleasure and happiness of his
+acquaintance, &c, &c, were not yet cold."
+
+All this, we say, had taken place, and our friend Hartley was seated
+quietly at his breakfast one morning, when a gentleman named
+Fenton waited upon him, on the part of Lord Cumber. After the usual
+salutations, Mr. Fenton opened the business on which he had come.
+
+"I regret, Mr. Hartley, that there should be any misunderstanding
+between you and Lord Cumber."
+
+"Not more so than I do, Mr. Fenton, I assure you; Lord Cumber, I
+presume, has arrived then? But pardon me, have you breakfasted?"
+
+"Thank you, sir, I have breakfasted. He has arrived, sir, and, requested
+me, to wait upon you for an apology. It appears, according to my
+instructions, as the lawyers say, that you have charged him with holding
+and exercising tyrannical principles as a landlord; now this, you know,
+is really a thing that a man like him could not overlook."
+
+"Of course, Mr. Fenton, he placed our correspondence in your hands."
+
+"Unquestionably he submitted it to me, previous to my consenting to
+act."
+
+"And may I ask your own opinion, Mr Fenton?"
+
+"As an extensive landed proprietor, Mr. Hartley, I must say that I agree
+with him; I think a landlord has a right to demand every kind of support
+from his tenant, and that if the tenant claims the privilege of running
+counter to his landlord's interest, then the landlord is justified in
+removing the tenant off his property as soon as he can."
+
+"In that case, then," replied Hartley, "I have no concession to make,
+and no apology to offer. I regret this business very much; but Lord
+Cumber places me in a position which I cannot leave without dishonor."
+
+"He also wishes to have an explanation with respect to the circumstances
+which induced so many of his corps of yeomanry to enroll their names in
+your new troop."
+
+"I have explained that already, by stating that I never solicited any
+of his men to join my troop; they came of their own free will, and I
+received them, and certainly will receive as many as come to us under
+similar circumstances."
+
+"Then I suppose you will not cause them to withdraw from your troop, as
+Lord Cumber insists on."
+
+"Insists on! Will he allow neither the tenant nor the yeoman the use of
+his free will, Mr. Fenton? I see nothing now remains but to refer you
+to my friend, Captain Ormsby, who will assist you in making all the
+necessary arrangements; and the sooner this unpleasant matter is
+terminated; the better."
+
+After bidding each other good morning, Mr. Fenton departed to make, as
+Hartley termed them, "the necessary arrangements."
+
+The next morning at day-break, in a paddock about two miles from Castle
+Cumber, there stood a very elegant young man, of a high and aristocratic
+bearing, accompanied by Mr. Fenton, to whom he appeared to be relating
+some pleasant anecdote, if one could judge by the cheerful features of
+the narrator, and the laughter of his companion. A carriage stood by a
+kind of scalp in the road, which carriage contained a medical man,
+who, indeed, was present with great reluctance. In a few minutes a
+gig, containing two persons, drove to the same spot at a rapid pace,
+a gentleman on horseback accompanying it; these were Mr. Hartley,
+his friend, Captain Ormsby, and a medical gentleman, whom he also had
+brought on the occasion.
+
+On meeting the two principals bowed politely, addressing each other in
+friendly terms, and were actually advancing to shake hands, when they
+mutually checked themselves, and Hartley, smiling, said:--
+
+"My Lord, I fear that this is really a foolish business--why, it is
+literally fighting a duel upon abstract principles."
+
+"It is fighting a duel upon a principle, which, either abstract or
+not, I will always support. If, however, you wish to avoid a duel, Mr.
+Hartley, you have only to withdraw the offensive term you applied to the
+principle in question."
+
+"As soon, my Lord, as you renounce the principle itself."
+
+"Enough," said Lord Cumber, "gentlemen, please to let us take our
+ground."
+
+Nothing could surpass the coolness, the ease of manner, and fine bearing
+of both. The ground was measured at twelve paces, and it was agreed
+by the seconds, from principles of humanity, that they should fire by
+signal. Indeed, we may say here, that the seconds did everything that
+men so circumstanced could do, to prevent the necessity of fighting.
+Each, however, was high-minded and courageous, and knowing that his
+opponent was remarkable for bravery and success as a duellist, refused
+to make any concession. They accordingly took their grounds, resolved to
+abide the event.
+
+Having been placed, the seconds, previous to their agreement as to the
+signal to be given, withdrew a little, so as to be completely out of
+hearing. While discussing this point, a circumstance occurred worthy of
+notice, and, we must say, the high-minded courage which it manifested
+ought to have restrained Lord Cumber, as a man of honor, from turning a
+pistol against Hartley on the occasion. Both were standing, as we have
+said, awaiting the signal to fire, when Hartley said:--
+
+"My Lord Cumber a word with you."
+
+"It is too late, Mr. Hartley," replied that nobleman; "I am on my
+ground."
+
+"It is not an apology, my Lord," replied the other smiling; "but really,
+as a man of honor, I cannot fight you as we stand at present: we are not
+upon equal terms."
+
+"Speak to your second, sir," said his opponent.
+
+"You perceive he happens to be engaged just now," rejoined Hartley;
+"but, in fact, the communication can as well be made to your lordship; I
+have just observed, my Lord, that the bullet of your pistol has dropped
+out, and I believe, if you will take the trouble to look upon the
+ground, you will see it at your feet; your second, I presume, has forgot
+to put in wadding."
+
+"Mr. Hartley," replied Lord Cumber, "I always believed you to be a
+gentleman, and a man of bravery; I feel it now, and whatever the event
+of this meeting may be, I shall render you ample justice. I thank you,
+sir, for that act of true courage and honor." At length the bullet was
+restored to its place, and the seconds drew aside to give the signal,
+which was letting fall a white handkerchief, when each was immediately
+to fire.
+
+How short a span there is between life and eternity! There they stood,
+both in high health and strength, full of the world, and the world's
+spirit, and yet in how brief a space was one of them to appear before
+the judgment-seat of God!
+
+At length the signal was given, the handkerchief fell, two shots were
+heard, one instantly following the other. Hartley having fired, dropped
+his pistol hand by his side, whilst Lord Cumber raised his left hand
+to his breast, or rather was in the act of raising it, when he fell,
+gathered up his knees to his chin, and immediately stretching out
+his limbs at full length, was a corpse: thus dying as he did, in the
+maintenance of an unjust and tyrannical principle. And so passed away,
+by an untimely death, a man who was not destined to be a bad character.
+His errors as a man--a private nobleman--we do not canvass any farther
+than as they affected his duties as a landlord. His errors as a landlord
+were the errors of his time, and represented the principles of his
+class. These were contempt for, and neglect of, the condition and
+comforts of his tenantry, of the very individuals from whose exertions
+and straggles he derived his support. Strange, indeed, it is that men
+placed as his lordship was, should forget a principle, which a neglect
+of their duties may one day teach them to their cost--that principle is
+the equal right of every man to the soil which God has created for all.
+The laws of agrarian property are the laws of a class, and it is not too
+much to say, that if the rights of this class to legislate for their
+own interests were severely investigated, it might appear upon just and
+rational principles that the landlord is nothing more nor less than a
+pensioner upon popular credulity, and lives upon a fundamental error
+in society created by the class to which he belongs. Think of this,
+gentlemen, and pay attention to your duties.
+
+Whilst Lord Cumber, who never communicated a syllable touching the duel
+with Hartley to his brother, was engaged in that mortal conflict, as it
+unhappily turned out to be, the Honorable Richard Topertoe was engaged
+in a far different occupation. On that same morning, in Castle Cumber
+church, he had the pleasure of giving away the hand of Mary M'Loughlin
+to her lover, Harman, and it was on their return from her father's
+house, after having witnessed their subsequent marriage by Father Roche,
+that he met his brother's carriage containing his dead body. Richard
+Topertoe possessed a mind above an empty title, and, perhaps, there
+lived not a man who more sincerely deplored the event which made him
+Lord Cumber, and put him in possession of a property which he did not
+require.
+
+Our chronicles draw to a close. The contemplated interview between Mrs.
+Lenehan, her brother, and Solomon, never in fact took place. Solomon
+fell very seasonably into ill health, and could be seen by nobody,
+except his physician, who was nearly as religious as himself, and
+besides, a member of his own congregation. In the trust, however,
+which the widow placed in Solomon, she was, to use his own language,
+abundantly justified, as the event proved. Honest Solomon defrauded her
+out of the money, and had the satisfaction of reflecting that he reduced
+her and her family to beggary. Breach of trust it appears is a very
+slight thing in the eye of the law, and Solomon, encouraged by this
+consideration, ruined the unfortunate widow and her orphans. This act
+of gross, unprincipled robbery was, however, not unpunished. In about a
+month after he had perpetrated it, the following scene occurred in
+the Court of King's Bench, in presence of many who will have little
+difficulty in bringing it to their recollection. A thin, pale-faced
+man, far gone apparently in serious illness, supported on each side by a
+religious friend who had not given him up, one of them by the way was
+a Scotchman, and a far greater knave and hypocrite than
+himself--approached the table, and requested permission to address the
+Court, previous to the exercise of its jurisdiction in striking him off
+the Roll of Attornies. This permission was granted, and Solomon, for it
+was he, spoke briefly as follows:--
+
+"My Lord, you see before you a frail sinner, who will soon appear before
+a greater and more awful tribunal than yours. I am not here, my Lord,
+to defend an act to which I was prompted by--may I be permitted to
+say so--by my very virtues. Some men, my Lord, we ruined by excellent
+qualities, and some by those which are the reverse. As touching mine, my
+Lord, and the principles upon which--but an explanation on this subject
+would not become me. Oh, no, my Lord; but your lordship sees these
+tears; your lordship sees this weak, feeble, and emaciated frame.
+You perceive, in fact, my Lord, that I am scarcely a subject for the
+severity of this or any other court. In the meantime, may I be prepared
+to meet a greater, a more awful one! May that be granted, my Lord! oh,
+may He grant it! I am very feeble, my Lord, but still able to entreat
+that your lordship will temper justice with mercy. About a month ago, my
+Lord, when I little apprehended the occurrence which--but may His will
+be done! My honesty is known, my Lord; it is known there, pointing
+up--about a month ago, I say, I had my last child baptized by--I am
+ashamed to tell your lordship what name, lest you might imagine that I
+done so for the purpose of biasing your judgment in the--No, my Lord,
+I will add nothing to the simple fact--I had my last child baptized by
+the name of Richard Pennywinkle M'Slime--a circumstance which fills my
+heart with sentiments of joy and gratification up to this moment. And I
+am not depressed---far from it. This, my Lord, is a trial, and I know,
+for I feel, that it is good for me to be tried, inasmuch as it is a
+proof that I am cared for THERE!" and he pointed again upwards as he
+spoke.
+
+The judge, who was a kind-hearted and humane man, was melted even unto
+tears which he could with difficulty restrain whilst he spoke.
+
+"Unhappy man," said he, "I have been for several years in the habit of
+dispensing law--"
+
+"Justice, you mean, my Lord," said Solomon; "oh, justice, justice, or
+rather mercy, my Lord! little of law have you ever dispensed! Oh, little
+of law--but much of justice. May He be praised for it! amen, amen!"
+
+"Your case, unhappy man, is one which places me in a peculiarly painful
+position indeed. The compliment you were good enough to pay me--I mean
+that of calling your child after me--makes me feel as if in addressing
+you I was--" here he sobbed and wiped his eyes bitterly, and was about
+to proceed, when Widow Lenehan's counsel rose up, and said:--
+
+"My Lord, it is really too bad that hypocrisy should continue its
+impositions even to the last act of the drama. I feel it my duty to
+disabuse your lordship in this matter of naming the child after
+you. Perhaps the compliment will be considerably diminished, if not
+absolutely reversed, when you come to know, my Lord, that the child
+which bears your lordship's name--if it does bear it--is an illegitimate
+one, and very unworthy, indeed, my Lord of bearing such an honored name
+as yours."
+
+The judge had been shedding tears for Solomon's calamities during this
+address, but it is almost unnecessary to say that the change from the
+benevolent and pathetic to the indignant was as fine a specimen as ever
+was given of the ludicrous.
+
+"Do you mean to tell me," said the judge, the whole features of his face
+in a state of transition that was perfectly irresistible; "do you mean
+to tell me that the child which the wretched! man had the insolence to
+name after me, was not born in wedlock.
+
+"My Lord," said Solomon, "this is a subject on which aided by my great
+namesake the wisest of--"
+
+"The decision of the court," continued the judge, "is, that your name be
+struck off the list of Attornies who practice here."
+
+In the course of about six weeks afterwards might be read, in all the
+metropolitan papers, the following announcement: "Died of deep
+decline in the forty-eighth year of his age, Solomon M'Slime, Esq.,
+Attorney-at-Law. Indeed we are bound to say, that for the last and
+most exemplary portion of his life, he ought rather to have been termed
+Attorney-at-Gospel. We are glad to hear, for the sake of his interesting
+family, that his life was insured for the sum of two thousand pounds,
+which has been paid to them."
+
+About four months after Solomon's death, an American vessel was lying at
+the Pigeon House, waiting for the tide. Several of the passengers were
+assembled in Mrs. Thumbstall's tavern--previous to the departure of the
+brig--where, as was then usual, they amused themselves by drinking punch
+and dancing. Among them was a little thin fellow, dressed in a short
+frieze coat, striped waistcoat, corduroy breeches, and stout brogues;
+beside him sat a comely, youthful, but somewhat prim female, dressed
+as a plain peasant girl. The moment the floor became vacant, the little
+frieze-coated fellow got to his legs, accompanied by the female, and
+addressed the musician as follows:
+
+"My good friend, there is--is much cheerfulness in thy music, for
+which reason this young person and I will trouble you to play us that
+sustaining psalm--I mean that blessed air called the Swaggering Jig,
+which is really a consoling planxtic--come, Susanna."
+
+Good by, Solomon, thou art now gone to that land of true liberty, and
+sorry are we to say, that thou has left so many who are so much worse
+than thyself behind thee! One of the most virtuous acts of thy life was
+the defrauding the Spiritual Railway Assurance office of two thousand
+pounds upon the fiction of thy death; which, truth to say, was a very
+bitter fiction to them.
+
+Our chronicles are closed. Need we say that Richard Topertoe, on gaining
+the title and estate, became a resident landlord, and is at this
+day enjoying a green and happy old age upon one of the best managed
+properties in Ireland, where his tenantry are grateful, prosperous, and
+happy. Mary M'Loughlin, her husband, and family, lived happily, as they
+deserved to live, and some, of them live yet, and will easily recognize
+themselves in these pages.
+
+Of Phil, we must say a word or two. On finding himself the uncontrolled
+inheritor of his father's ill-gotten wealth, he accelerated his progress
+in drunkenness and profligacy. He took to the turf, became a gambler and
+spendthrift, and went backwards in squandering his fortune through as
+unprincipled a course as his father pursued in making it. From step to
+step he came down until nothing was left. Having no manly principle
+to sustain him, he fell from one stage of rascality and meanness to
+another, until he succeeded at length in getting himself appointed as
+an under turnkey in Castle Cumber Gaol. A whisper has gone abroad,
+that upon a critical occasion when the Sheriff, owing to the death of a
+certain functionary essential to the discharge of his duty, felt
+himself considerably at a loss, he found in one of the under turnkeys a
+convenient substitute.
+
+The living of Castle Cumber, left vacant by the promotion of Mr. Lucre
+to a Bishopric, was given to an Englishman, as was then the practice,
+and would be now, were it not for the influence of common shame and
+public opinion.
+
+Mr. Clement opened an Academy in Castle Cumber, and succeeded; for he
+thought it a wiser thing to live by teaching a school, than to suffer
+his large family and himself to starve by the gospel.
+
+We now beg to close, by a paragraph from the True Blue:--
+
+"_Elevation of the Rev. Dr. Lucre to the See of ------_
+
+"For many years a duty at once so painful and so delightful, has not
+devolved upon us as a public journalist. The elevation of the
+Right Rev., Father in God,, Phineas Lucre to the See of ------, is a
+dispensation to our Irish Establishment which argues the beneficent
+hand of a wise and overruling Providence. In him we may well say, that
+another bright and lustrous star is added to that dark, but beautiful
+galaxy, in the nether heavens above us, which is composed of our blessed
+Bishops. The diocese over which he has been called by the Holy Spirit
+to preside, will know, as they ought, how to appreciate his learning and
+attainments. But what shall we say of the poor of Castle Cumber, to whom
+he has been such a kind, meek, charitable, and consoling dispenser
+of God's gifts and God's word? At the bed of death, of disease, of
+poverty--at every post, no matter how poor, low, neglected, or how
+dangerous--there was he to be found, the champion of God--fighting his
+battles in peace, self-denial, and charity. It is true, he is not an
+Irishman; but is it not a blessed thing that such links of love as he,
+and of those who resemble him, should continue to bind the virtues
+of the two churches, and the two countries together? His Lordship was
+consecrated on last Sunday, by that Right Rev. and blessedly facetious
+prelate, Archbishop Drapely, who, in addition to his other evangelical
+gifts, is said to be a perfect Toler in canonicals. It is not often that
+so much piety proceeds from so comic a source."
+
+Our readers can scarcely forget the circumstances of Mr. Lucre's
+departure out of this wicked, ungodly, and sensual world. About eight
+years ago, or less, he died in a very pious fit of apoplectic passion,
+brought on by his cook, in consequence of that important functionary
+having neglected the apostolic duty of dressing a haunch of venison, we
+presume, upon scriptural authority. We regret to say, for the sake of
+the Church, and the loss which she sustained in consequence, that the
+haunch in question was considerably overdone--a fact which one would
+scarcely imagine could have produced such important results upon the
+religion of the country as it did by his death.
+
+With respect to Counsellor Browbeater, we have only to say, that the
+government of that period, having got out of him all the dirty work of
+which he was capable, felt extremely anxious to get rid of him as easily
+and safely as they could. Browbeater, however, who was a most insatiable
+leech, stuck to them, knowing that they could not well discharge him
+without a character. He was made a master in chancery, and had the honor
+of succeeding old Tom Silver, a lawyer, a gentleman, an orator, and a
+man of honor and integrity! And only think of Browbeater succeeding such
+an office, as excellent, respected, and admirable Tom Silver left behind
+him!
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Valentine M'Clutchy, The Irish Agent
+by William Carleton
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